Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell
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One simple test. That's all it took to change my life completely. Now, I have to learn how to use my new powers and how to be an agent for The Agency. But most importantly, I need to learn all about my new body. That would take some getting used to.
A Flower's Bloom |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
This was the first story that I ever published on the Internet. I've learned so much since writing it, and I'm sure that it shows. However, this second edition of A Flower's Bloom remains true to the original. The only difference between the original and this one are spelling and grammatical changes because I had the opportunity to pass it through the excellent editor that first contacted me because of this story. I wouldn't be nearly the writer I am today without his immense help and support. Thank you J.
This first part isn't much more than an introduction, but I'm posting it today because I wanted some "meat" to post tomorrow. I hope you enjoy.
Foreword
I started writing this story a couple of years ago. It was originally supposed to be a short story that I could use to help my mom understand how I feel, but it continued to grow and grow. While I still plan to use it in that capacity, it took so long to write that she already has a basic understanding from other avenues.
This story is semi-autobiographical. The events are obviously not real, but many of the people, even if their names have been changed, are real people and play a role in my life. I wrote it this way to help show her how I feel in a way she can relate to my life. I hope that nothing I wrote has been too specific that it detracts from the story.
It took a while, but I was finally able to finish it. While it is not quite the story I set out to write, the basic ideas I had in mind survived. This story in itself is a complete story, but it does leave room for more if I can get around to writing it, and readers want to see it. I also have some other ideas that I want to get out of my head, so it may be a little while before I come back to this story.
I also wanted to conduct an experiment while writing this. The stories that I have enjoyed reading most have been the ones that I can put myself in the shoes of the main character. Hence, this story is in First Person, as are most of the stories I plan to write. To help accomplish the goal of letting others jump into the main characters shoes, I tried to describe the scenes in a general feel. I wanted to see if I could provide enough information to describe the scene, but leave it vague enough that the reader could visualize the scene the way they want. For instance, I may describe someone’s hair as blonde, but leave the tone and shade to the reader’s imagination.
There are a lot of references to pop culture and things that I enjoy in the story. If you catch one, I hope you enjoy it.
Finally, this is the first story I have ever really written. I've written short things for school before, but I've never really put together a full book before.
Thank you again for taking the time to read this story. I hope that I can provide you with an entertaining story that you will enjoy to the last page.
Chapter 1 - The Test
My name is Brett Campbell, and I have hated tests my entire life. This midterm was going to be the worst. Advanced Biology, what am I even doing in this class? It wasn’t even required.
Mr. Bailey was a great teacher, but I don't think even he could prepare us for this test properly.
From day one in his class, he had warned us about this test. This test could be more important than the final, yet he had not given us any idea of what was going to be on it.
As he began to pass out the test, one thing in particular stood out in my mind. It was only one page! The tension in the class noticeably lifted. As he placed the test on my desk, I noticed it didn't even take up the whole page. A gasp came from somewhere in the front of the classroom.
As the rest of the class finished reading what was written on the paper, we turned to look at our teacher for confirmation.
Moving back to the front of the classroom, Mr. Bailey finally spoke. "This is a rare opportunity, and it's one that I am privileged to be able to teach."
"Does this mean we don't have to take a real test today?" asked a girl in the front.
"A question and answer test, no," he said. "But if you want to participate in the DNA study section of this class using your own DNA, we will be providing samples today.
"The forensics lab is very busy, and only one class a year is given this opportunity," he continued. "To participate, just fill out the release form and turn it in. If you do not want to use a sample of your own, an example set of results will be provided for the study."
Relieved, I quickly filled out the release form and turned it in. Those of us who had signed the release forms were then taken to another room where DNA samples were taken.
Chapter 2 - The Results
A week later, we got the results back. Learning about DNA with your own as an example was quite different than how they taught it in high school! The course material was unique to me, and I thought that was what made it so interesting.
The most interesting part, however, came about two weeks after we started the study.
Walking into class, I noticed a man and a woman who looked out of place. They were dressed neatly, and looked very professional. They were talking to Mr. Bailey who, upon seeing me, waved me over to his desk. Upon reaching his desk, he introduced me to the man and woman.
"Brett, this is Agent Harris and this is Agent Johnson," he said, motioning to the man and woman respectively.
"Agents, this is Brett Campbell."
"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Campbell," Agent Johnson said while extending her hand. "If you'll come with us, we can get started."
"Get started?" I asked, looking to Mr. Bailey for clarification.
"Go with them and they will explain everything," he said while walking us to the door.
I followed the two agents out the door and down the hall. They opened the door to an unused classroom and ushered me in. Inside the room there were two other students from my biology class.
Nikki was a very beautiful blonde girl whom I had often wished I had the willpower to actually talk to. I'd gone to school with her since elementary school, but I never was able to get to know her. Justin was the other student, and I didn't know him at all.
After the agents introduced themselves and gave us the chance to do the same, they pulled out three binders; each binder had one of our names on the front.
As Agent Harris passed the binders out to us, Agent Johnson began to explain, "The three of you are here today because of the results of your DNA tests. Agent Harris and I represent an organization that can offer you a great opportunity. If you choose to accept our proposal, you will be guaranteed a job with a six figure income after your training has been completed."
Wow, I thought, this must be my lucky day.
"Doing what?" Nikki asked.
"Working for the Agency," Agent Harris responded.
"As a spy?" I asked excitedly.
"Well, yes," said Agent Johnson.
"Cool, where do I sign up?"
"It's not quite that simple, there are conditions to this proposal. For one, you will be 'enhanced' to become a super agent. This enhancement, however, is experimental."
"So we are going to be guinea pigs," Justin spoke for the first time.
"This procedure is experimental, but it has been used successfully before. Nobody has been killed or handicapped in any way.
"The binders we have given to you contain more information about the procedure. What we are asking is for you to thoroughly read the binders and make a decision. We will be back tomorrow for an answer. Until then, we ask that you keep an open mind. Thank you for your time."
With that, the two agents left us alone in the room. I looked over at Nikki and Justin. Nikki appeared to be as excited as I was, but Justin had a weird gleam in his eye that I did not know what it meant.
"Do you think it's real?" I asked, finally getting the nerve to talk to Nikki.
"I don't know, but it sounds exciting," she answered. "Anyway, I'd love to stay and chat, but we’d better get back to class."
I groaned. "I guess so."
The two of us grabbed our binders and headed back to Mr. Bailey's classroom, leaving Justin behind to his own thoughts.
Chapter 3 - The Decision
When I finally got home from classes that night, I immediately sat down and opened the binder. The first part of the binder contained the DNA results that I had been given in class. But the second and third sections really caught my eye.
Section 2 contained a detailed lab report from someone. I assumed that it must have come from the Agency lab because it had many notes relating the results of the DNA test to some kind of procedure that was not specifically mentioned in the document. Not being able to make sense of the notes, I skipped through the pages until I reached the end of Section 2.
On the last page was a summary of my DNA results and how they matched up with the procedure. The final paragraph caught my eye:
Subject Rating: 98%
Subject Summary: The subject has the highest match rating that we have seen yet. In fact, the subject would have been given a 100% rating if not for one small genetic anomaly on chromosome [restricted]. If the subject agrees to undergo the procedure, there is a 99.9% chance of success if the anomaly is corrected. However, if the anomaly is not corrected during the procedure, the success rate drops dramatically to 65%. We would encourage doing whatever is possible to persuade this subject to enter the program. We believe that the subject could gain nearly 100% of the enhancements that the procedure can grant. We also suggest fixing the anomaly on chromosome [restricted]. Fixing the anomaly would not be hard, and the benefits gained from doing so would greatly improve the program.
Wow, that wasn’t what I was expecting to read! The Agency thought I was special! Although, learning that I had an anomaly of some kind brought down some of the excitement.
Turning the page, I came to Section 3. It was all about the procedure.
It was obviously written by a scientist who had helped develop it. It was boring to read. However, since I might be undergoing the procedure, I forced myself to read about it.
Essentially, the procedure was nothing more than an injection. A specially created retro-virus was injected into the body. This retro-virus then proceeded to 'optimize' the person’s DNA. It rewrote the DNA to bring out the best in the person’s genes.
The scientists still were not 100% certain how the virus worked, but they had proved that it is safe, for certain people. The retro-virus tended to react badly for people with certain DNA.
Any person who was to undergo the procedure was given a rating before the procedure was administered. Anything above an 80% was considered acceptable. The binder also showed the success rates of the procedure.
So far, the success rate had been 100%; nobody had died. However, the amount of 'enhancement' varied between subjects.
Most subjects saw an increase in strength and dexterity. They were faster and stronger. Some individuals had seen 'other' enhancements, but the binder didn't go into detail on what those enhancements were.
This whole thing seemed like a dream. I not only was going to become stronger and faster, and better looking, but I also was getting a job with a six figure income. I couldn't see a downside.
However, even with my mind pretty much made up, I called my mother to tell her about it. She was very wary of me undergoing the procedure, and told me that she wanted to see the binder when she got home.
When she arrived home, she told me to grab the binder while she made dinner. While dinner was cooking, she took the time to read through the binder. She was impressed that I had made an impression on the Agency, but she was very worried about the consequences if I accepted their offer. We were still talking about it when my dad and the rest of my family made it home for dinner. We mentioned the offer I was given over dinner, but my sister was the only one of my siblings who showed any real interest in the offer.
After dinner, my mom, my dad, my sister, and I thoroughly studied the contents of the binder. After discussing all the good and bad points that we knew of, my family and I concluded that this could be a great benefit to me. I didn't have all the answers that I needed to have. There were definitely some questions that I would need to ask the agents tomorrow. With that thought in mind, I headed for bed.
Chapter 4 - Acceptance
The next day, I was once again called out of class to meet with the agents. When we were all in the room, Agent Johnson spoke first.
"Any questions before you make your final decisions?" she asked.
Nikki was the first to ask a question that I think we all wanted an answer to. "What will happen to us if we do decide to undergo the procedure?"
"If you choose to undergo the procedure," Agent Johnson stated, "you will be moved to a military installation within the next week to begin preparations.
"You will still have full contact with your families by means of telephone and Internet," she continued, "but you will not be able to leave the base until after the procedure has been completed."
"How long will that take?" Justin asked.
"The procedure itself takes 4-5 days to complete its work, depending on the individual, and the amount of work that the procedure is required to perform," Agent Johnson explained. "Including the testing and preparation time, I would expect you three to be back in school two weeks from now."
"That's it?" I asked. "I thought we would be out longer, maybe for training or something."
"Because we value education at the Agency, the three of you will finish out the last few weeks of the school year before we start the regular training," Agent Harris replied. "This will give you a chance to adapt to any changes that you may go through during the procedure."
Why was he staring at me when he said that?
"Changes?" I had to ask.
"Some people undergo small physical transformations during the procedure, such as bigger muscles or weight loss. Nikki and Justin both fit into this category according to their profiles," Agent Johnson explained.
"You, on the other hand, are in for some bigger changes," she continued. "It would be beneficial for you to get used to the changes before we start the training."
"Are you talking about the anomaly?"
"Yes."
"I wanted to ask about that too. What is it?" I asked.
"I can't go into specifics about it at this meeting."
"Why not?"
She hesitated slightly before answering, "It's personal. I don't think you want to discuss it right now. We can talk about it after this meeting."
The two agents went on to answer all of the other questions we had. Finally it seemed that they were ready to discuss items other than questions.
"Now," Agent Johnson said, "if there aren't any more questions, how about some answers? Justin, do you want to go through the procedure?"
"Yes."
"Nikki, what about you?"
"Yes, I do."
"Alright then, that just leaves you, Brett. Do you want to go through the procedure?"
"I don't know," I replied truthfully. "I'm still worried about the anomaly. I don't know what it means well enough to make a decision."
"Brett," Agent Johnson said while sitting down next to me and taking my hands in hers. "If you decide to go through with the procedure, I have been tasked to be your handler for the time being. Your case is special, as you know, and we want to provide you with the best care possible.
"I have seen your records and I have seen your profile. This anomaly, if corrected, will change your life drastically. But, I think you will be happy with the results. I cannot tell you more about the anomaly unless you agree to undergo the procedure, but everything I've read about you and everything I've learned since meeting you leads me to believe that it will be best for you."
I stared into her eyes. I thought maybe she was just trying to persuade me to join the program at any cost, but her eyes told me differently. It looked like she genuinely meant what she said.
"All right, I guess I'll do it."
The smile on her face was so big when I said that, I just knew I had made the right decision.
"Great!" she beamed while standing up. "Because all three of you are 18, we will not need to get your parents to sign anything.
"So," she said as she moved back to her briefcase at the front of the room. "I have your agency contracts here. You can read and sign them here if you like, or you can take them with you, look over them with your family or a lawyer, and then bring them with you when we leave for the base."
She then handed each of us a small stack of paper. After reading through it, I decided to sign it there. In essence it was just an employment contract. Everything from specifying an income of $300,000 a year (that was very surprising) to confidentiality agreements was included. Justin and Nikki also signed their agreements.
When that was finished, Agent Harris gave us all a second packet. "This is your introduction packet. It includes everything you need to know about the agency as well as instructions for what to bring with you on Monday."
"On Monday," he continued, "we would like to meet here at nine o'clock. We will then head out to the base where the procedure will take place. See you all then."
With that, we were sent back to class for the remainder of the day.
Chapter 5 - A Final Goodbye?
I spent the weekend with my family. My parents and my sister were worried about what would happen to me, but my brothers just thought that it was cool that I was going to be trained to be a super spy. The possibility of gaining "powers" of some sort was also exciting to them. Frankly, it scared me more than it excited me.
Monday morning seemed to come way too fast. I was very nervous while getting ready for school.
What if something went wrong? Could I die? Would the "changes" be more than I could handle?
The binder said that no one had been harmed or killed during the procedure. The scientists in charge seemed to be very careful when it came to finding the right candidates, and were even more careful when performing the procedure, but it was still a scary proposition.
After giving my family hugs and saying goodbye, my mom drove me to school. Since it was still another hour before we were supposed to meet with the agents, she reluctantly dropped me off so I could go to my first period class. I had to promise to call her every night before she would let me get out of the car.
I didn't really know what the lesson was about during class. I was too busy thinking about all the possibilities of what could happen over the next week.
As the bell rang and class was dismissed, I nervously headed to the classroom where I was to meet the agents. When I opened the door I found that I was the last to arrive.
"Okay," Agent Harris said, "Are you all ready to go?"
"I guess so," Nikki replied.
The agents led us outside to a black car. We piled our small overnight bags into the trunk and then got in. After a short drive, we pulled into a hangar at a small airport. Inside the hangar was a small corporate jet.
Up until this point I hadn't thought about where the military base would be. I thought that we would be heading to a local base somewhere here in Utah. It came as a shock to me that we were going to be traveling far enough to require a jet! I had a sudden feeling that I was going to get homesick.
Soon we grabbed our bags and boarded the plane. While we were being seated the engines came to life and soon we were on our way to our destination.
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One simple test. That's all it took to change my life completely. Now, I have to learn how to use my new powers and how to be an agent for The Agency. But most importantly, I need to learn all about my new body. That would take some getting used to.
A Flower's Bloom |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 6 - Genesis
The plane ride was actually quite short, only about 15 minutes. I guessed that the plane was used only to expedite the trip. I felt better knowing that we were either still in Utah or else not far from it.
As we got off the plane, I noticed that we were at a small base in the middle of the mountains. The canyon was surrounded on three sides by high mountain walls. The other side appeared to have a man-made wall running the width between the sides.
The canyon was fairly long, long enough for a full size runway at least, and our plane had taxied to a stop at the deep end of the runway. A large building stood before us, with a few cars parked off to the side. Other than the building, the runway, and the far off wall on the other side of the canyon, there wasn't a single man-made structure in sight.
The building looked like a large ski lodge. Built with a lot of wood and natural looking materials, it looked almost like a large cabin. Agent Johnson started leading us toward a set of doors in the center.
"Welcome to Project Genesis," she said. "During your procedure and during your employment with the Agency, this place will act as your base of operations and a home away from home. There are three other bases around the nation, but this is the Alpha Complex. It is from here that Project Genesis is headquartered.
"After you have recovered from the procedure, we will give you a full tour and introduce you to the rest of the crew. For now, we will show you to the rooms you will be staying in, give you a chance to unpack, and then we'll get started on the preparations for the Procedure. Follow me."
The agents led us into the building. Just inside the doors was a nicely furnished lobby that would have been right at home in a five star hotel! From here we were led down a hallway off to the side that appeared to contain hotel rooms. I guessed that this was the dormitory.
"Here we are," Agent Harris said as we stopped about half way down the hall. "Brett, you will be in room 112, Nikki, you will be right next door here in room 110. Justin, you will be across the hall in room 111. Here are your room keys.
She gave each of us a keycard as she continued. "Each room contains a small kitchenette, a lounge area, a bedroom, and a full size bath. You can all go in and have a look around. Once you've had a chance to settle in and unpack, we'll be back to get you started on preparations for the procedure. See you all in about half an hour."
With those words, Agents Harris and Johnson headed back down the hallway we came in. All of us just watched them walk away for a bit before we turned toward our doors.
I wasn't sure what I was expecting to find behind the door, but it certainly wasn't what was there. When I opened my door I knew that they must have put me in the wrong room.
The walls were a pale pink. A darker pink was used occasionally around the room to help offset the color. The room I was in appeared to be the lounge. Off to the side of the room was a small kitchen area. Two doors at the back of the room lead to the bathroom and the bedroom. There was a third door on one of the walls that was locked without any apparent way to open it.
The lounge and the kitchen were very well furnished: state of the art appliances in the kitchen area, a nice love seat and recliner combo in the lounge, and a large TV hanging on the wall next to the door.
After looking around briefly, I headed into the bedroom. It was furnished nearly the same way. The pink theme carried into this room as well. The bed was a queen size, and was made up in what appeared to be a pale pink bed spread over some darker pink satin sheets. The bedspread and the sheets both had white lace trimming the edges. Next to the bed was a white desk that was under a large window looking out on a small lake that I assumed must be at the rear of the building. There was also a white vanity in the room, fitting with the girly theme. Next to the vanity was another door.
I walked over and opened it to find a small walk in closet. The closet was empty except for a pale pink robe and a pink track suit. There were a number of drawers on one wall of the closet making up a dresser, but a quick inspection showed them to be empty as well.
I dropped my bag on the bed and headed out to look into the bathroom. It was predominately white, but it also had pink highlights to continue the theme. A large Jacuzzi tub and a separate shower stall filled up one wall, while the sink and toilet filled up the wall adjoining it. The wall that contained the door had a large floor length mirror on it that complimented the smaller one over the sink.
I was still trying to comprehend how feminine the place was when I heard a knock on the outer door.
Opening it revealed Nikki who said, "Can you believe these rooms? Oh wow, your room is beautiful!"
"It's really feminine," I replied.
"Yeah, it is. You don't like it?"
"That's just it. I do like it. It would be perfect if I was a girl, but..."
"Hmm. Well, my room is the same way. It's almost like they read my mind and created an apartment that I would love. Mine looks like it's pretty much the same as yours, but in purple instead of pink."
"Well, I guess I can live with this for a week," I said.
At that moment Justin opened his door. "Whoa," he said as he joined us at the entrance to my door. "What's with all the pink?"
"I don't know, I think they must have made some kind of mistake." I replied.
"Well, my room is perfect, I'm glad they didn't screw it up like they did yours. See what I mean?" He said as he motioned us to look in his room.
His room was the exact opposite of mine. While my room was very feminine, his room screamed "I am male. Hear me roar." I swear, I heard it.
I couldn't believe that they could make a mistake like this on my room, when they appeared to get the other two rooms perfect for their occupants!
I was still reeling in those thoughts when Agent Johnson spoke up from behind us. "Are you guys ready to get started?"
"I guess so, but I think you made a mistake with my room," I said.
"Oh? Well, we can talk about that later. Right now, we need you all to go change into the track suits you will find in your closets. Once you've done that, meet back out here."
"But..."
"No buts, Brett. We can sort everything out later. Right now, we are on a time schedule."
"Fine."
I resigned myself to my fate while walking back into my suite and into my bedroom.
I pulled the track suit out of my closet and laid it on the bed. The color was beautiful, but I didn't want other people to know that pink was my favorite color. It just wasn't manly.
The track suit was pink, but had white stripes up the legs. Along with the pants there was a white tank top. It was very feminine though, because it was cut to allow for cleavage, and was trimmed in a very beautiful lace. There was also a matching jacket to go with the pants. I was surprised that there wasn’t a pair of panties or a sports bra with the set.
After debating with myself for a second, I realized that I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. I stripped down to my boxers and decided I’d better put the suit on. I started with the pants. They fit quite snug, especially over my boxers, but they didn’t look wrong or anything. Next, I put on the tank top. It was definitely different than any tank top I had ever worn before. It was quite snug, even in the chest, surprisingly. The lace around the collar hid the little hair that I had on my chest. I put the jacket on to help cover the lace. I was pretty sure that Justin was going to tease me about this to no end.
Surprisingly, I felt really comfortable in the track suit. I went into the bathroom to look at myself in the full length mirror. I was expecting to see a boy in girl’s clothes, but surprisingly, it didn’t look that way.
Granted, I definitely didn’t look like a girl, but for some reason, the clothes just looked right somehow. I guess I kind of looked androgynous.
Opening my outside door I found that I was the last one to make it back into the hall.
Immediately I had an urge to run back into my room and take off the suit when I saw the look of surprise on Justin's face. It didn’t take him long to burst out laughing.
"Wow," he said, "You really got screwed."
"Don’t listen to him," Nikki whispered in my ear as he started laughing again. "I think you look good."
Both Nikki and Justin were wearing something similar to me. Nikki appeared to have the exact same outfit, except she had on a white sports bra instead of the tank top I wore. Justin had a tank top on under his jacket, but his whole suit was just totally different in the way it was cut. Standing next to him made it quite obvious that my track suit was designed for a girl.
Once Justin was able to control his laughter, Agent Harris spoke.
"Alright, follow me. We are going to head down to the labs for the initial test work that will be required before the procedure. You will be given a small break at noon for lunch, and then we will move on to the physical benchmark this afternoon."
With that he started walking back up the hall the way we came, expecting us to follow.
Chapter 7 - Pain Before Pleasure
When we reached the lobby, I was surprised to see someone sitting in one of the chairs. Up until now, I hadn’t seen anyone other than the plane crew outside of our little group.
As we approached, he stood up. He was pretty impressive. I’d guess that he was probably a couple of years older than us, maybe 6' tall and 235 lbs. or so, but he looked as solid as a brick. His dark brown hair had some lighter highlights that looked completely natural. His eyes, on the other hand, were the most amazing blue I had ever seen.
"Guys," Agent Harris said, "This is Ice. He will be your team leader once you have finished going through the procedure."
"Nice to meet you all, you can call me Jay," he said. "You must be Justin," he continued while offering his hand to Justin.
"Finally, a real man on the team with me," Justin replied while shaking his hand.
That hurt.
Ice just ignored the comment as he turned to Nikki. "Welcome to the team, Nikki."
"Thank you," she replied with a smile while shaking his hand.
"And you must be our new prodigy," he said while offering me his hand. "It will be very interesting to see how the procedure affects you."
I shook his hand without speaking. For some reason, his comment and the look he was giving me made me very nervous.
"Well," Ice continued, "I just wanted to introduce myself. I'll see you all again after the procedure has been started. See you all later."
He gave a small wave and then headed down another hall off of the lobby area.
Agent Harris led us over to a bank of elevators and pushed the down button. "The labs are quite large and are built underground to help keep the natural look of things above. We also have a number of recreational facilities down here that you will be able to use."
The elevator doors opened and I noticed that there was only one floor listed below the main level. Agent Harris pressed the button for the level and the elevator began to move.
When the doors opened, we all gasped in surprise. We stepped out of the elevator into a large courtyard! There were plants and fountains all over! All along the walls of the courtyard were glass sliding doors that led to different departments, or sections! The whole place looked like a very opulent mall!
The other thing that caught our attention were the people. The majority of the people walking around appeared to be in white lab coats, or some other type of laboratory garb. Agent Harris informed us that the population of Alpha Complex was primarily scientists and their families.
When the agents were finally able to get our attention back, they led us toward the glass doors that had the words 'Medical' on them. Once inside we were led past a waiting room area and directly into a conference room. Inside there were a man and a woman–who looked to be in their late sixties–waiting for us to arrive. As we entered, they stood and greeted us.
"Welcome to Project Genesis," the man said. "I am Dr. Eugene Young, and this is my wife, Dr. Grace Young. We are physicians and the chief scientists here at Alpha Complex and we will be in charge of your procedures."
We shook hands with both of them and were ushered into seats around the conference table.
"Now, before we start, do you have any questions?" the doctor asked.
When none of us could really come up with a good question the doctor continued.
"Okay, the schedule for today is as follows. After we are finished here, each of you will be taken to an exam room where a full physical will be performed. The information and samples that we get from you during the exam will be used to create the retrovirus for the procedure. That should take up the remainder of the time before lunch.
"After lunch you will meet with your handlers for the Pre-Procedural briefing. That will take about an hour.
'After that we will do the physical benchmark testing. This testing will give us an idea of what you are capable of physically. This information will then be compared to the Post-Procedural benchmark testing to help us understand the changes that the procedure will perform on you.
"If all goes as planned, you should be free around five or five-thirty for dinner, and then free time after that until bed.
"Tomorrow morning, we will meet again around eight. The Procedure will be started at about eight-thirty."
After referencing some papers he continued. "Each of you will be kept in Medical for a while to make sure the Procedure is working correctly. After that is confirmed, you will be able to return to your suites. Justin and Nikki, you will probably be released around noon. Brett will be here a bit longer to make sure his anomaly is being corrected.
"For the next week or so after that, you will have very light schedules. You won't necessarily be bedridden or confined to your rooms, but the Procedure does a good job of wiping out your energy levels.
"Once the Procedure has been completed, we will repeat what happens today, and then provide some basic training before you return home to finish the school year. Any questions about the schedule?"
"Not really, sir," Nikki replied, "I guess we are all just a little nervous."
"That’s understandable, dear," the female Dr. Young replied. "Your handlers are also trained therapists and can help you through any issues you may have. They are solely dedicated to your team, so they should be available at any time. Brett and Nikki, your handler will be Agent Johnson. Justin, Agent Harris will act as your handler. They are here for you. Talk to them if you need to."
"Okay," we all replied.
"Now," the male doctor said. "If you would follow me we will get started."
We were led out of the conference room and then down a short hall to some examination rooms. We were then split up and taken into separate exam rooms.
Once inside, I was introduced to another doctor who introduced herself to me as Nina. Nina was probably in her late thirties, and she told me she had been a doctor for nearly 15 years.
"Now," she said, "We are going to start with some samples. To start, please take off your jacket."
I was a little hesitant to do so because it would expose more of the lace, and she apparently caught on quickly.
"Don’t worry, honey," she said. "I have been tasked to be your medical officer for the foreseeable future. I know about the anomaly and how it affects you. There are things you do not know yet, but that you will be very grateful for later. Hopefully you will consider me one of them. We will be working very closely with each other, so you don’t need to be ashamed about anything. I won’t laugh at you, and I certainly will not breach our confidentiality about you to others."
I hesitated a little longer, and then unzipped the jacket to reveal the tank top.
"See," she said, "There's nothing to worry about. And, by the way, that tank top is really nice."
I could feel myself blushing and when I looked over at her I could see a quirky little smile on her face. That just made me start laughing and she was quick to join in.
Nina was really good at putting my uneasiness to rest while she performed the needed tests. She took all kinds of samples from blood to urine and even a semen sample. Next she gave me a full physical. It was a little awkward when she had me turn my head and cough, but somehow she was able to keep me relaxed and at ease the whole time. When she finished, it was nearly twelve-thirty.
"All right," Nina said, "I will be here for the start of the Procedure, and then I will be checking in on you for the rest of the week. For now, you can head back out to the conference room. Once all of you are done being tested you will be shown to the cafeteria for lunch."
"Thank you, Nina," I said sincerely, "I’m glad that I’ve got such a great doctor on my case."
"Oh, sweetie," she said while giving me a motherly hug, "We haven’t even started the best part yet. Now go enjoy your lunch, I will see you again in the morning."
"Bye, Nina, see you tomorrow." I said as I walked out the door.
Justin was in the conference room when I got back. He gave me a small scowl and kept to himself while we waited for Nikki to finish.
Five minutes later Nikki came in with Agent Johnson.
"Finally," Justin said. "You two took forever."
"Maybe, but girls are just more concerned about their health." Nikki replied.
"That doesn't explain why he took nearly as long as you," he quipped while pointing at me.
"Oh, I thought you were talking about us," Nikki said while motioning between her and Agent Johnson.
"Whatever, can we get some lunch now?" Justin asked.
"Yes, come on and I'll show you where the cafeteria is."
Agent Johnson led us out of the Medical section and down the courtyard to a door aptly named 'Cafeteria.'
Inside was just that - a large cafeteria. Scattered around the many tables was an assortment of scientists and families. But at one table there was a group of 5 people who were eyeing us closely as we headed toward the line. I noticed that Jay was one of them, which made me think that they must be another team that had gone through the Procedure.
The selection was quite extensive and a little while later we all had a tray of food and were looking for a place to sit when Jay waved us over to his table.
As we approached, Jay stood up and started to introduce us. "Everyone, this is Justin, Nikki, and of course Brett," he said while indicating who each of us was.
When he was done introducing us, he turned to the group sitting at the table. Other than Jay, there were two other guys and two girls. All four of them appeared to be in their mid twenties and they all appeared to be in excellent shape. "And this is the other team that is currently stationed at Alpha Complex."
Pointing to the tall red-headed girl, Jay said, "This is Fire."
"You can call me Theresa. Fire is just my codename," she said.
"Sitting next to her," Jay continued, "is Tom."
Tom was a huge black man. I’d say he was probably close to 7 feet tall, and all his muscles alone probably weighed close to 300 pounds. He had a shaved head that added to the fearsome look. "Hello, most people call me the Rock," he said in a deep voice.
"The other two are the twins, Lary and Cary."
"Pleased to meet you," Lary said. He and his sister definitely looked like twins. Both looked to be about 5 1/2 feet tall. Both were very slim, probably weighing in around 130 a piece. Both also had long dark hair that fell around their shoulders. They might have been identical, if it wasn’t for the very full beard that Lary sported.
"Hello," Cary added and Lary gave a small wave.
Lunch was really nice. We managed to get to know the other team, and Jay, quite well. I felt that the 8 of us could all be friends easily, despite the small age difference.
It was apparent to me that the 5 Post-Procs, as they called themselves, knew something about me that I didn’t even know. All throughout lunch I caught them giving me a knowing look, but they refused to explain when I asked them about it.
Chapter 8 - It's A Wonderful Life
After we were finished eating, Agent Johnson led us back to the Medical section. She asked Nikki and me to wait in a conference room while she led Justin to find Agent Harris. When she got back, she closed and locked the door behind her.
"Now," she said, "This meeting is called the Pre-Procedural briefing. Now is the time to talk about what will happen tomorrow. Here is where we lay everything on the table so that you can get a full picture of what is happening. We will also discuss Brett's anomaly and how it affects the two of you."
Finally, I thought.
"Okay," she continued, "Since we are going to be spending a lot of time together, I want you to call me Jill. We are all members of Genesis A2, but we are also going to be a smaller close knit group inside of the larger team. But we will get to that in a bit. Okay so far?"
"Yes,” we both replied.
"We are going to start with Brett's anomaly, because it will affect most of what we are going to discuss."
"What does anomaly mean?" Nikki asked.
"Regarding the Procedure, an anomaly means that one of the chromosomes in the body does not conform to the score ranking of the others. This chromosome is usually enough to throw out the DNA set it is attached to. In other words, an anomaly is a chromosome that fails the DNA profiling test while every other chromosome passes. If the anomaly didn’t exist, the person would be an ideal candidate for the Procedure.
"Fortunately, most anomalies can be corrected during the procedure, like Brett's can."
"So what exactly is my anomaly?" I asked.
"Your anomaly is a little different than most. Most anomalies are minor, and fixing them usually does not require any changes that the host will see or feel. Your anomaly, however, is going to be a big change.
"Your anomaly is located on the 23rd chromosome. Do you know what that means?"
My biology classes came rushing back to me, and combined with my room and clothes, it became painfully obvious.
"Oh!" I exclaimed as my eyes opened wide in shock. "Are you serious?"
"Yes," Jill replied.
I sat there stunned! This was like a dream come true! Jill must have seen it in my eyes, and here grin grew to match the size of mine.
"What are you two talking about?" Nikki asked while staring at the two of us like we were leaving her out of an inside joke.
I just kind of sat there in a happy daze as Jill explained it to Nikki.
"The 23rd chromosome," she said, "Is the chromosome that controls gender. You know, the whole XX/XY thing?"
Nikki nodded with understanding. "So Brett is going to become a girl?"
"Yes," I replied.
"Well, that certainly explains the clothes and room." Her eyes suddenly got wider. "So that’s why everyone is treating you like a girl."
"They have?" I asked. Other than the clothes and the room, I couldn’t think of another thing that would indicate what she said was true.
"Unfortunately, yes," Jill said. "We were trying to keep the details of your anomaly a secret until after you had undergone the procedure, but it was too easy to guess that this was going to happen."
"What do you mean?"
"Up until a couple of days ago, few people knew. However, as the information about the candidates for A2 - that’s you guys - was released to the departments so that they could start to prepare for your arrival, it was obvious that it was going to happen.
"Each Genesis team is made up of two men and two women. That alone was probably enough to give it away, but the fact that you were assigned to room 112 just confirmed it."
"How?" Nikki asked.
"The dormitory is basically divided in half, with girls on one side of the hall, and boys on the other. When you were assigned to a girl’s room, it was obvious that you were not going to be a boy for long. After that, the rumor mill started. Gender morphing, as many of the scientists call it, was always considered to be a possibility using the procedure. It has been accomplished using lab mice, but you are going to be the first human to undergo this change. Once the scientists learned about it, it became the talk of the day."
"Oh great, everyone is going to know about me," I moaned. I didn’t want to be treated any differently than the other girls if I was going to go through with this.
"Don’t worry," Jill said. "The majority of the people in the Project will not care one way or the other if you are female. They will react to the person you will become because they won’t know any difference. They may know that you used to be male, but they won’t see anything but a teenage girl blossoming into womanhood. Those people who will know both sides of you, such as Agent Harris and me, and even Nina, were hand selected because it will not be a problem for us."
"What about Jay?" I asked.
"Jay wasn’t supposed to know beforehand, but he appears to be handling it well. In fact, after we sat with them during lunch, I got the impression that all of them will accept the change easily. It might have something to do with the fact that they all went through changes as well."
"So," Nikki interrupted us, "if everyone else is handling it so well, why are you, Brett?"
I was terrified that someone was going to ask that! Before I had a chance to come up with an answer, Jill spoke.
"In most cases," she said, "If the anomaly was going to change the gender of the host when corrected, we probably would not select the host to undergo the procedure, especially if they were going from male to female. Brett, on the other hand, has two things going for him that made us accept him as a candidate. One, if the anomaly is corrected during the procedure, Brett will end up with the highest DNA rating we've ever come across. And two," she paused for a second to look at me. I stared at her, and when I nodded, she continued. "This is what he wants."
There it was! The most beautiful girl in my school now knew my deepest and darkest secret! Instead of the revulsion I expected to see coming from her, she actually lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Really?" she said while looking at me. When I nodded slightly, she jumped up and gave me a big hug!
"This whole time I was afraid that I was going to be the only girl my age here. Even when I learned that you were going to become a girl, I figured you would fight it, and I would still basically be the only girl. Now, if you truly want to be a girl, it won’t be like that at all!"
All I could do was stand there and hug her back. It was then that I realized I was crying.
"What’s wrong?" Nikki asked when she noticed.
"Nothing," I replied with tears in my eyes. "I’m just so happy! I only wish that my mom and my sister could be here."
"Well, you can call them later tonight and give them the good news," Jill said as she joined us in our embrace. "Right now we need to continue the briefing so that we can finish getting you ready for tomorrow."
I couldn’t argue with that.
After we all settled down and took or seats again, Jill continued with the briefing.
"Now that we've gotten past the hard part, we can move on to some fun stuff. Brett, from this point on, you are officially female as far as the government is concerned. We will update all of your records to conform. The only thing we need from you is a name and a few signatures."
"Ooh, a new name!" Nikki exclaimed. "We'll make sure to come up with a great one for you. Let's see, you could probably make a good Ashley..."
"Actually, Nikki," I interrupted, "I’ve already got a name picked out."
"Oh," she said dejectedly. "I guess you’ve had time to think about this." Just as quickly though, she smiled again. "So, what is it?"
"Jasmine Rose Campbell," I replied with a huge smile on my face. I still couldn’t believe this was happening!
"That is so beautiful," she said while giving me another hug.
Jill also gave me a big smile as she finished writing something on some papers in front of her. "I just need you to sign these forms and it will be official."
She showed me the forms and walked me through what each one meant before I signed them. Once they were signed she shook my hand as she spoke. "Congratulations, Jasmine."
"Thanks," I replied, "but you can call me Jaz for short."
Everybody seemed to be in an upbeat mood as we continued the briefing. Jill told us everything we wanted to know, and some we didn’t, about the Procedure. Apparently there were some unsanitary parts that we would need to go through. She didn’t give us the specifics, because they wouldn’t be known until the retrovirus has been created. She said we would get the specifics in the morning.
Chapter 9 - Pain...and Pleasure?
The briefing concluded a little after one o’clock, and Jill led us out of the Medical wing and down the courtyard to a set of double doors with the words 'Gymnasium' on it. Inside the doors was another small lobby with three doors on the back wall. Nobody was currently there. The glass door in the middle of the wall was labeled 'Office' and clearly led to an office. On the two opposite ends of the room, in the corners, were the two other doors. The one on the right was labeled 'Men' and the one on the left was labeled 'Women.'
Before I even had a chance to do anything, Jill grabbed my hand and started pulling me toward the women's locker room.
"Jill..." I hissed.
"Jaz," she said after stopping and turning. "You are a young woman now. You have every right to be in here. Besides, we've closed down the gym for your benchmark tests, so no one else will be in there."
I was still scared to death as she dragged me toward the locker room, but I didn’t really resist after that. I did notice that Nikki stayed behind me in case I tried to bolt.
Once we were inside the locker room, it was evident that Jill wasn’t lying. The locker room was large, but it was completely deserted. Jill led us over to some lockers.
"You will be issued permanent lockers later, but for now you can use these guest lockers." As she said this, she opened two lockers and I couldn’t help but notice that there was a ladies one piece swimsuit, a sports bra, and a pair of gym shorts in both lockers.
Jill was quick to speak before I could say anything. "The first part of the test will require the use of the gym outfit. Don’t worry, Jaz, we will make sure that you are presentable. There will be a second part in the pool, and we will come back to change into the suits. So, Nikki you can go and get dressed around the corner if you don’t feel comfortable being around Jaz before the Procedure. Jaz, follow me over here to the showers. We need to get rid of some hair and hide some things before you can get dressed."
She grabbed a small bag out of my locker and then started pulling me again. We went around a corner into a shower area.
"Take off your clothes," she said while rummaging around in the bag. When I just stood there, she continued. "Come on, we're both girls here. We don’t have time to waste."
I reluctantly started to strip. I had never been naked in front of a girl before! I stopped when I was down to my boxers, but a glare from Jill soon had them on the ground as well.
"Wow," she said while passing me a bottle, "You could probably pass without much help. Here, spread this all over."
"What is it?" I asked.
"It's a fast acting depilatory. Spread it on and you’ll be hair-free in minutes," she replied.
"Oh," I said as I started spreading it on my legs.
"Once the procedure has been finished you’ll have the same hair patterns as any girl your age, but for now, we'll have to work with it. Once you finish putting it on, stand here and wait for me to get back. I’m going to check on Nikki."
She left as I continued to spread the goo up my legs, arms, and torso. When she finally came back she told me to go wash it off under one of the showers. I didn’t have a lot of hair on my upper body, but it was really weird to see my legs hairless. Running my hands down my hairless body was exhilarating, and I turned beet red when Jill noticed the semi-erection that the feeling had given me.
"Don’t worry," she said with a sly smile. "That won’t be a problem for much longer."
I thought she was talking about the procedure, but as I was drying off she pulled a fleshy colored pair of panties out of the bag and handed them to me.
"This will keep the bad boys from ruining your figure. Pull them up your legs and I'll show you."
I pulled them up my legs, but before I had them all the way up, she showed me how to push my testicles up into my body and then tuck my penis between my legs. When the tight panties were pulled up the rest of the way I looked as flat as a girl between my legs!
"Wow, when I tried this before, I could never get it this comfortable."
"I thought you might have had a little practice. Come on, let's get you dressed."
Walking back to the lockers was weird. I thought that it was going to be uncomfortable, but it was actually quite comfortable. Not having anything hanging between my legs was odd, but at the same time, it felt right as well.
When we reached the lockers, Nikki was sitting there in her gym clothes.
"Wow, it’s amazing how such a little change can make you look so feminine," she said.
I just stuck my tongue out at her and grabbed a second set of panties and a pair of shorts that Jill was holding for me. The second pair of panties would help hide the tight ones I had already put on.
They were pink of course. Pink had been my favorite color since I was a little kid. It looks like the powers that be knew that and were supplying me with it in bundles.
After I had the shorts on, Jill handed me the sports bra. It was white but had a small pink band around the edges.
"We won’t worry about breast forms during the tests, but it is lightly padded and should give the appearance of a small bust," Jill said.
It felt kind of weird after I put it on, but I concluded that it wouldn’t distract me while I was exercising or anything.
"Let's see," Jill said as she started doing something to my hair. "There isn’t really anything we can do with this, but we can make it look better. Here, take a look."
She dragged me over to a mirror and placed me in front.
"Wow!" I exclaimed. While I didn’t really look like a girl, I did look very feminine! My hair was way too short, but somehow it looked girly.
"Come on you two, we are already late. Doctor Weir won’t be very happy."
Jill led us to the other side of the locker room, where there was a short hallway around a corner that led into the gymnasium.
The gymnasium was a huge room that contained just about every workout machine ever made. There was also a track running around the outside of the exercise equipment on the right and an Olympic sized swimming pool set up to do laps on the left side of the room. There was also a second pool that contained a couple of diving boards and a few slides. A small kiddy pool and a hot tub were close to the locker room entrances.
Agent Harris and Justin were sitting on a bench between the two locker room entrances, waiting for us. Both of them looked really bored.
"Finally," I heard Justin say as we approached them. Once he saw me, however, his mood worsened. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Huh?" I replied.
"You’re still a guy! Why the hell are you letting them do this to you? You should be fighting all of this, you pansy!"
I was shocked! Everyone had been so supportive up until this point. I didn’t know how to react. Nikki was glaring at him, and was about to say something when Jill spoke.
"Jasmine," she said while glaring at him, "is legally and in my opinion, mentally female. You will show her the respect that you would show any other girl."
"Whatever," he said. "I should have known you weren’t a real man. No real man would allow this to happen to him."
Jill looked like she was ready to hit him, so I spoke up to keep her from doing something stupid. "You’re right, Justin," I said. "I’m not a real man. I never was. I didn’t know that until today, but it makes so much sense now. You can hate me all you want, but my life is being fixed, and your words and attitudes cannot take that away from me."
He just stared at me. Before anything else could happen, Agent Harris spoke to him. "Come on, Justin, let it go. We talked about this. You saw the data. Her brain is female. Of course she is going to accept this. You are going to need to learn to live with the fact that she is, and always will be, a girl."
"Whatever," he repeated, and then turned his back on me.
"Come on," Agent Harris said. "The doctors are waiting and we are already late. We can talk about this later."
"That just proves he isn’t a boy, he already takes so long getting ready, he is making us late," Justin said.
"Her!" Jill said menacingly.
"Whatever," Justin retorted as he turned to follow Agent Harris toward the middle of the gym. I noticed that Jill and Nikki were seething as we walked. I felt that way myself, as well.
There were a number of doctors waiting for us and as we approached, and one of them stepped forward to greet us. He looked like he could be my grandfather. His hair was almost completely white, with a few streaks of gray. Despite his apparent age, he did not seem frail.
"Welcome to the Benchmark tests," he said. "My name is Dr. Weir. Today we will find out what you are made of.
"Now, the test is split into three parts. Part one consists of running a mile around the track. Part two will involve the weight and endurance machines, and part three will be in the pool. Let's get started."
They really wore us out. After attaching a number of wireless sensors to us they had us do just about everything you could think of.
The mile was grueling. I’ve never been able to run very well and it showed as I came in a couple minutes behind the others.
As I was lying down trying to catch my breath, I heard Justin yell, "You even run like a girl."
I just ignored the comment. In fact, it kind of sounded like a compliment to me. But I heard a loud slap, which made me look up to see what had happened.
Justin had his hand on his left cheek, and Nikki was being pulled away from him. I didn’t want to get involved so I just laid my head back down.
About five minutes later, the doctors were ready for us to continue. They led Nikki and me over to one set of equipment and kept Justin away from us on another set.
These tests were nearly as bad as the running. If it didn’t involve weights, it involved endurance. Either way, I was ready to collapse when they called part two as finished.
Jill led us back into the locker room and to the lockers. I just collapsed on the bench.
I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, Nikki was shaking me.
"Come on, Jaz," she said, "the faster we can get through this, the faster we can eat. Get dressed."
I sat up and noticed that she had already changed into her swimsuit. The purple one piece clung to her like a second skin, and she looked amazing.
"Wow!" I said, "I hope I look as good as you in a swimsuit when this is all over."
She smiled. "You will, sweetie, I promise."
I stood up and opened my locker. Sure enough, there was an identical pink swimsuit. It was a very beautiful pink, and the white stripes up the sides added a little bit of flare.
I stripped off my gym clothes and was standing there with only the flesh colored panties on, admiring the swimsuit. This was like a dream come true.
"Hurry!" Nikki complained again.
I sighed and pulled the suit up my legs. Once I had the suit on, there was no way I could keep myself from smiling. I moved over to the mirror to take a look.
I still didn’t really look like a girl, but the lack of a bulge between my legs would certainly give someone pause if they were trying to make the determination. The lack of breasts, however, didn’t help. I didn’t even have the small padding from the sports bra anymore. It really surprised me when that thought made me feel a little bit depressed.
"You really are a girl. You take longer to get ready than me," Nikki said from behind me.
The thought made me giggle. Giggle? I’d never done that before!
"See," Nikki said with a laugh, "You are going to have no problem with this."
"Thank you," I said while giving her a hug.
When we walked back out of the locker room, we found Jill, Agent Harris, and Justin waiting for us on the benches again.
When Justin saw me, his eyes nearly bulged out of his head.
"Wow," he said. "You really are a girl. You might have been acting like a boy, but where it counts, you are all girl." He couldn’t seem to take his eyes away from my crotch.
I just shrugged, which seemed to be enough of an answer to satisfy him. I knew he wasn’t dumb enough to believe what he had just said, but if thinking that way helped him to accept me, I wasn’t going to complain.
We headed over to the pool where the doctors were setting up more equipment. The swimming tests weren’t nearly as bad as the running, but I felt exhausted again when we were done. Swimming in a one piece was certainly different, but after a while, it just felt normal.
After the tests were complete and the doctors dismissed us, we headed back to the locker rooms. Before we went in, Jill stopped us and explained what was going to happen during the rest of the evening.
"It's already seven-thirty," she said. I was surprised! "The testing took longer than expected, so we will head to the cafeteria for dinner, and then we will take you back to your rooms. Lights out will be at nine, but you will be free to do what you want until then."
Chapter 10 - Pretty in Pink
Back in the locker room, Nikki and I were undressing when I brought up showering.
"Do you want me to wait until you are done?" I asked.
"Umm..." was her only response.
I could see that she was struggling with that decision. I knew that she wanted to support me, but I was still technically male.
"It's alright," I said. "I'll wait here. I may be legally female, but we both know I won’t be complete for a few days. Waiting is not going to hurt my feelings."
She looked relieved. "Okay," she said as she grabbed her towel and headed for the showers.
I took off all of my clothes and wrapped a towel around my waist. Then with a sly smile, I realized it should be around my chest, and changed it accordingly.
I sat down on the bench to wait for Nikki to finish, and thought about how I was going to tell my family. Mom and Dad knew that I felt that I should have been born female, but I didn’t think that anyone else knew. I wanted to tell my sister Cami so many times, but I could never get the courage to do it.
My brothers, on the other hand, were going to freak. Adam was very homophobic, and I didn’t have any idea how he was going to react. Ben might accept the changes, but then again, he might not. I had no idea what would happen with those two. Nevertheless, this was a dream come true and I wasn’t going to let them spoil it for me.
I heard Nikki approaching, so I stepped around the corner, heading for the showers.
"All yours," she said with a smile.
I smiled back and continued on to the showers. I kept it as short as possible, because I was really hungry, and even as nervous as I was, I also wanted to call home.
As I wrapped my towel around me after drying off and turned to leave the showers, I saw another pair of the flesh colored panties sitting on the bench waiting for me. After putting them on, I headed back to the lockers.
"Oh my gosh, she is going to love it!" I heard Nikki say as I approached.
"Shh, she's coming," I heard Jill whisper.
As I walked around the corner, they both squealed and hid something behind their backs.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing," was Jill's response. "Just put on what is in that bag first."
Inside the bag was a beautiful bra and panty set, pink of course. I had never seen any that looked as beautiful! It looked like they were made of lace.
The panties were cut in a low-rise bikini style. As I pulled them up my legs and settled them into place, I was amazed at how good they felt! The bra was the same way. I think I surprised the two of them when I was able to hook the bra behind my back.
Once I had the bra on, I turned to the two of them and asked, "Now what?"
Jill brought two boxes from behind her back and placed them on the bench. Opening one of the boxes revealed two breast forms.
"These are only on loan to you for the evening," Jill said as she pulled one out of the box. "We'll have another pair for you tomorrow until you grow your own."
The smile on my face must have been really big, because it brightened both of their faces. "I can’t wait!"
"Well," Jill said while inserting the forms into my bra. "These certainly seem to fit you really well. Just the right size."
"These things feel huge, how big are they?" I asked.
"These are a C-cup."
"Now for the fun part," Nikki squealed again. "This is so exciting. I can’t wait to take you shopping after the Procedure."
I was somewhat shocked when the idea of shopping sounded fun to me too.
Nikki opened the box that she had been hiding behind her back. Inside was a skirt and top. They were just as beautiful as everything else I had worn.
The skirt was a pleated A-line. It was white with pink lace trimming the hem and an attached belt seemed to be made of the same lace. The top was the same shade of pink that seems to have invaded my life recently. It was pretty much the opposite of the skirt, as it had a small band of white lace around the neckline.
Together, the two looked like they could be one of my favorite outfits, if I was a normal high school girl. Once I had them on, I decided that it was my favorite outfit. The fact that it was the only one I had was beside the fact.
"One more surprise and we can go eat," Jill informed me.
Opening the last box revealed a shoulder length blonde wig. It was beautiful as well. Jill placed it on my head and stepped back to take a look at me. "This is right," she said. "You really should have been born female."
She looked at me a little longer before she turned to Nikki. "Go finish getting ready. I'll do her makeup. We all want to eat."
Nikki looked like she really wanted to help, but the thought of food was too much and she took off toward the mirrors.
"Sit down and let me do this quickly. After the Procedure is completed we'll show you how to do it yourself."
I sat down and let her go at it. Applying makeup was never something that I had tried, so this was a new experience to me. She didn’t really do a whole lot, a little blusher, some eye liner, mascara, and lip gloss seemed to be enough to give her the result she wanted.
"Come on," she said as she put everything away and pulled me to my feet. "Let's take a look in the mirror."
All day long I had been getting progressively more feminine in appearance, but I was still shocked when I looked in the mirror.
Staring back at me was a girl. For the first time today, I actually looked like a girl!
"You look amazing!" Nikki said while giving me a hug. We almost looked like sisters now, I realized while looking into the mirror.
"I don’t know about you two, but I’m starving," Jill said while pulling me away from the mirror. "Let's go eat."
The guys were already waiting for us when we walked out of the locker room. It put a smile on my face when I saw both of their jaws drop slightly.
"Oh my gosh," was all Justin could say while he looked me over. I couldn’t really tell what he was thinking anymore. "I can’t believe that’s you."
That didn’t really sound like the Justin I’d been listening to all morning. I didn’t know if he was genuinely changing his attitude, or if he was being told to be nice.
"Well, let's hurry and get some dinner," Agent Harris said.
Walking in a skirt was a lot different than anything I was used to. It just felt open and less restrictive. I liked it. It really made me feel like a girl. There were a lot of people in the courtyard this time. Now that work was finished for the day, it looked like the courtyard became a place to hang out and talk with friends. Many of the people seemed to be waiting for someone to show up, before they headed into one of the recreational sections. I was a little nervous that someone would point at me and laugh, but either they thought I was a girl, or they knew of my plight. For the most part, I didn’t think many people even noticed me.
The cafeteria was pretty much empty at this time of night though, and the selection was quite limited. But after a full day’s workout, it was pure bliss. The five of us ate together, making small talk and trying to put everything out of our minds for a little bit.
The only disconcerting thing about supper was Justin. He wouldn’t stop looking at me. I wasn’t sure if he was getting over his issues with me being a boy or not, but it sure seemed that he was beginning to take an interest in me that a boy doesn’t normally show to another boy. I haven’t even started the Procedure yet, and boys were already chasing me!
Chapter 11 - Family Love
When we finished eating we headed back to our rooms. When we reached the elevators, I was surprised to see only a few people waiting for one to arrive. With all the activity down here, I thought they would be in bigger demand. It wasn’t until I looked around while we were waiting that I found out why. The two closest sections to the elevator were labeled as 'Residential A' and 'Residential B.' Most of the people working here probably lived in underground apartments. We must have been really special to the project to warrant above-ground rooms.
When the elevator opened into the lobby, we found Jay and the A1 team sitting and waiting for us.
"Wow, Jaz," Jay said. "You look great!"
"Thanks," I said. I could feel myself blushing, so I lowered my head a little.
"Jeez," Rock said. "That looked so feminine the way you hid your face behind your hair, are you sure you aren’t really a girl?"
I hadn’t meant to do anything like that! The wig just kind of fell around my face!
"I think she is," I heard Justin say. "You should have seen her in her swimsuit. If she's really male, then something is seriously wrong."
I was still blushing when Jay spoke again.
"Well, it looks like you will be able to fit right in after the Procedure," he said. "You already seem to have the instincts and mannerisms already."
That compliment really made me feel good. Nikki and Jill had both said the same thing, but I didn’t know if they were being truthful or not. I wasn’t consciously doing anything different, but maybe I was doing it subconsciously? I didn’t know. I just couldn’t wait for the next week to be over.
"Anyway," Jay continued. "There's still about an hour before you need to be in bed. Do you guys want to go to the small dance club we have here?"
"I'll go," Justin said. "I’m not ready for bed yet."
"Great, what about you girls?"
"I can’t," I said. "I really need to call home tonight."
"Oh, Okay," Jay sounded disappointed. "Nikki?"
"I’m sorry, Jay," she replied. "I’m too exhausted after all of those tests. I promise Jaz and I will take you up on your offer after the Procedure."
"Alright," he said with a little smile. "I’m looking forward to it."
"Just make sure he gets to sleep before nine," Agent Harris told Jay while pointing at Justin. "And no alcohol. We need to start the procedure in the morning."
"Yes sir, we'll take care of him." Jay promised.
Justin, Jay, and the rest of A1 got in the elevators and headed back down. The rest of us headed down the hallway toward the rooms.
"Remember," Jill said as we reached our rooms. "You need a full nights sleep. The more sleep you get tonight, the better off you will be in the morning when we start the procedure. If you need anything, you can find us in the next set of rooms back down the hall. Good night, and good luck, Jaz."
"Thanks," I said. "I hope I won’t need it."
"Do you want some support while you call them?" Nikki said.
"Don’t you want to call home?" I asked.
"Yeah, but I can stay with you if you need it."
"Um, well how about you go and call home, and maybe just check on me when you are done. I should be okay," I said.
"Alright, I'll see you in a bit."
We both went into our rooms, but we were a little surprised when we found that the doors that were locked before were open. It turned out to be a doorway between our two rooms.
"I’m leaving this open." Nikki said in a matter-of-fact way. I just shrugged and looked for the phone.
The phone was a cordless one that was sitting in a charger on a small table just outside the door to the bedroom. I picked it up and dialed as I walked into my bedroom and laid on my stomach on the bed. It rang a few times before my sister picked up the phone.
"Hello?" she said.
"Hi, Cami," I replied.
"Brett! Mom's been waiting for your call forever."
"I bet, but this is the first chance I’ve had to call today."
"Let me grab her - one sec."
I heard her place her hand over the receiver and then heard a muffled yell telling my mom to pick up the phone. A few seconds later I heard another receiver being picked up.
"Hello?" I heard Mom say.
"Hi, Mom," I replied.
"It's about time you called. I was getting worried."
"I’m sorry, but this is the first chance I’ve had all day."
"Well, I’m glad you finally called. Did you start the procedure today?" my mom asked.
"No," I replied. "Today was filled with tests to prepare for the Procedure. We don’t start until tomorrow morning."
"What kind of tests?" my sister asked.
"Mostly just a physical checkup, and then what they called a benchmark test, which basically measures a lot of stuff. Once the Procedure is finished, they will run the same tests again and compare the results to help understand how I have changed."
"Sounds boring," my sister said.
"Tiring more than anything. I’m exhausted."
"We miss you already," Mom said. "We can’t wait for you to get back."
"Mom," I said with a little hesitation. "I won’t be coming back, at least not in the way you remember me."
"What do you mean?" The concern in her voice was very evident.
"I learned some things today, things that are going to change my life. The anomaly, well, fixing it is easy they say, but it's going to change me."
"What do you mean?" Cami asked. I had forgotten she was still on the phone.
"Oh, I forgot you were still on the phone." Her still listening made me even more nervous.
"Come on, Brett, you can still tell me," she said. "I love you, and nothing can change that."
"Is anyone else listening?" I asked.
"No, Dad, Ben, and Adam are all watching a hockey game downstairs," my sister replied.
"Just tell us," my mom said. "I can’t take it anymore."
"Okay, but you have to promise not to tell the boys, at least not yet."
"I promise," Cami replied.
"Why?" Mom asked.
"Because, Mom," I said, "I don’t know how they are going to react. Please promise me you won’t tell them yet!"
"I promise then," she said. "Just tell me before I have a heart attack."
"Okay..." I started, "The anomaly is on the 23rd chromosome. That is the chromosome that controls gender, you know, XY stuff."
"Yeah," my sister said.
"Well, to fix the anomaly, they are going to change my Y to an X. The procedure is going to turn me into a girl." There, I finally said it!
The relief I felt to get that out in the open was amazing. I actually felt better than I had all day!
Both of them were very quiet for a few seconds while they tried to grasp what I just said.
"That is so cool!" my sister finally screamed into the phone.
"Shh," I said trying to stop her yelling. "Be quiet, I don’t want the boys to know yet."
"Oh, right," she replied in a whisper. "It's just that I’ve always wanted a sister!"
"Well, don’t tell anybody yet. Jill told me that it will probably be easier to accept if they see me first. Otherwise, they may not believe in what I’m doing and they will start to get defensive."
"Okay, I won’t tell anyone yet, I promise," Cami said. "Who's Jill?"
"Jill is my handler," I replied. "She is also my therapist to help me adjust to all of this."
"Oh," she replied.
"Are you okay, Mom?" I asked. "You haven’t said anything."
"Are you sure that this is what you want?" she finally said. "I mean, this is more than just wearing different clothes and stuff."
"Ooh, we have to go shopping together!" my sister interrupted.
Ignoring her comment for the time being, I answered my mom.
"You know it is, Mom," I said. "I’ve wanted this since I was a little kid. You know that."
"You have?" Cami said.
"Yes," I replied.
"Is that why pink used to be your favorite color? You always had pink stuff."
"Pink is still my favorite color, it always has been. I just hid that fact when people started making fun of me."
"Oh," she said.
"You should see my room here. It's mainly pink, and one of the most beautiful shades I've ever seen."
"Brett," my mom interrupted before my sister could respond. "Are you really sure? Have you put any thought into what this means for your future?"
"Yes, Mom," I said with a sigh. I know she was just worried about me, but I just wanted her to understand that I’ve had a lifetime to think about this. The events of today hadn’t done anything to change that.
"I’ve had years to think about this," I continued. "Some day I hope to get married and have a little girl of my own to worry about. The doctors have told me that will be possible after the Procedure."
"I just don’t want you to go through with this, and then find out six months from now that it was a mistake," she argued. "I don’t think you will be happy after it's done."
"Mom," I said, "You have to trust me. I’ve wanted this for a long time. I’ve thought about this for a long time. I’ve thought about what it would mean to me if it happened. I will be happy, that’s the one thing I can promise you right now."
"I had no idea you felt this way," my sister interrupted again.
"That’s because I’ve been hiding it from everyone," I replied.
"I still think you might be making a mistake," Mom said, concern evident in her voice.
"Mom," I said. I could feel tears running down my cheeks now. "Maybe I am then, but it would be MY mistake to make. In my heart I feel this is the right decision to make. I don’t think it is a mistake. If it turns out to be a mistake, then I will have to live with the consequences of it for the rest of my life. But, and this is a big but, I have spent years making this decision. This is not something I decided to do today."
I saw Nikki come into my bedroom then. She had a concerned look on her face, which eased when I gave her a small smile. She tapped her watch, indicating that it was getting late and we needed to get to sleep.
"Listen, Mom," I said. "I need to go now, because they want us to get to sleep as early as possible to make it easier on our bodies. This is something I’m going to do. If it means repercussions in the future, then I will deal with them when they come. I can’t ignore what my heart and my brain are telling me. You need some time to think about this, so I'll call you again tomorrow night. We can talk about any concerns you might have then, okay?"
"Alright, honey," she said. "Just remember that I love you and only want you to be happy."
"I love you, too," my sister added.
"I love both of you so much. Whether you believe it or not, Mom, this has been one of the happiest days of my life. It can only get better from here. I have to go now, but I will talk to you again tomorrow."
"Bye, Brett," Cami said, "I love you."
"Bye, honey," my mom said. "We'll talk tomorrow."
"Bye," I said.
I waited for them to hang up before I turned off my own phone. After that the flood works started. Nikki came over and wrapped me in a hug and just let me get it all out.
After the tears dried up she helped me get undressed and into a nightgown I hadn’t noticed before. Then she led me to the bathroom and removed my makeup. I just kind of zoned out during the whole thing.
Fifteen seconds after she led me back to my bed and pulled the covers over me, I was out like a light.
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One simple test. That's all it took to change my life completely. Now, I have to learn how to use my new powers and how to be an agent for The Agency. But most importantly, I need to learn all about my new body. That would take some getting used to.
A Flower's Bloom |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 12 - The Beginning
I woke up to somebody shaking me. I really didn't feel like getting up and wanted to sleep for a few more hours.
'Come on, Jaz," I heard Nikki say.
I groaned.
"Finally! I thought you were never going to wake up.”
I groaned again.
"Come on," she said. "We've been trying to wake you up for half an hour. Get up, we need to go."
I groaned a third time. I hadn’t been in this much pain in quite a while. Yesterday’s workout was really catching up with me. Despite the pain, I did manage to get up this time.
"Here," Nikki said, "Put this on."
It turned out to be yesterday’s track suit, or at least an identical one. Once I had it on, Nikki started to pull me toward the front door of my suite.
"Come on," she said forcefully, "we're going to be late."
"Bathroom first," I argued, and veered toward the bathroom door.
Once inside I closed the door and turned toward the toilet. I hesitated before lifting the toilet seat. My first instincts were to go to the bathroom sitting down, which kind of surprised me. However, I realized that this might be the last time that I could go to the bathroom while standing up, so I wanted to take advantage of it. Once I was done, I flushed the toilet, washed my hands and opened the door.
"That didn’t sound very ladylike," Nikki said.
"Yeah? Well it could be my last time, so sue me," I said while sticking my tongue out at her.
"Whatever, let's just get moving."
We found the others waiting for us in the hallway.
"Oh, it's you," Justin sneered.
I didn’t really expect that after last night, but he might just be less accepting because I looked like my old male self this morning, instead of the new female me he saw yesterday. If he was just reacting to my looks, then hopefully he would accept me as who I would be after the Procedure.
"What took you so long?" Jill asked. "We're late."
"Sorry," Nikki replied. "I couldn’t get her to wake up!"
"I’m sorry too," I apologized, "I’m not usually a heavy sleeper. I think I’m just worn out from all the exertion yesterday."
"Well, you’re awake now, at least," Jill replied. "Come on, let’s go get started."
Jill led us back down to the Medical section’s conference room, where both Dr. Youngs were waiting. I noticed the male doctor check his watch when we walked in.
"Not too late," he said to his wife. "This shouldn’t affect the timetable."
Turning to us, he spoke again. "Good morning," he said. "Welcome to the first day of your new lives. Have a seat and we will go over what you can expect over the next few days."
After we all sat down, he spoke.
"The Procedure is broken into four stages: general size/skeletal changes, internal changes, external changes, and power awakenings.
"Okay," he continued. "Now a little more information on what you can expect during Stage 1.
"Stage 1, or general skeletal changes, is probably the most intense stage. This is primarily because it involves changes to your bone structure. Stage 1 will be completed entirely in the lab to make sure that nothing goes wrong. Don’t worry, though, nothing ever has in the 25 times we've performed the Procedure.
"You will be asleep for the majority of Stage 1. The retrovirus will actually make you sleep to help make the large changes it needs to make. Once the changes are complete, you will wake up and after a few shorts tests you will be released from the lab. Any questions so far?"
"Will it hurt?" I asked.
"This stage? No. You may have some minor aches or pains later this evening, but some Tylenol should be enough to alleviate the pain. Part of the reason you will be asleep for Stage 1 is to prevent any pain. There may be some minor pains during the other stages, but it usually isn’t too serious. If it does become a problem, come in and we can give you something stronger to help. Any other questions?"
"So by the end of the day, I could be taller?" Justin asked.
Justin was somewhat short, at only 5' 6" tall. Nikki was about the same height, but I stood a full 3 inches taller. Maybe that was adding to his reluctance to accept me. By the end of the day, our heights could be reversed.
"By our calculations, you most likely will be," the doctor said. "Nikki will probably stay relatively the same height, and Bre... er Jaz will most likely become shorter."
"I like the sound of that!" Justin said while glaring at me.
I just shrugged at that, because being shorter would bring me into the norm for most girls.
"How long will Stage 1 last?" Nikki asked.
"That varies depending on the changes that the retrovirus needs to make. The least amount of time we've seen is three hours, and the most has been six. We are expecting to set a new length record today with Jasmine's changes.
"Let's see here," he said while shuffling through some papers until he found what he was looking for. "We estimated that it would take Nikki about 3 hours, Justin about 4 1/2 hours, and Jaz about 8 or 9 hours."
"Wow," I said.
"Yes," he continued, "You will be undergoing the most Stage 1 changes we've seen to date."
"What changes will actually be made?" I asked.
"Well, for all of you, the bone structure will be hardened significantly. That's about all that will happen to Nikki. Justin, you will also be growing taller, which accounts for the extra time you will be under.
"Jaz, you will be getting shorter, but your whole bone structure will be changing. All of your bones will be getting smaller, and in some places will be completely changed, such as your hips and pelvic bones. Once Stage 1 is complete, you should have the bone structure of an 18 year old girl." He sounded more excited than I would have preferred. I guessed a gender change was the biggest thing that will have happened around here in a while.
"It's almost nine now, so we are a little behind schedule. If we start quickly, we should be able to meet again between six and seven tonight to talk about the rest of the stages. Any more questions, or are you ready to get started?"
"I guess we're ready," Nikki said when none of us spoke up.
"Alright then, please follow me," he said while rising from his chair. "We are going to start with Jaz first, since hers will take the longest. Justin will be next, and then Nikki last.”
He led us down the hall a little further until we reached a door labeled 'Procedure Room 1.'
"Jaz in here," he said while opening the door. "Take off all of your clothes and we will be in to get you started shortly. Nikki, you will be in Room 2, and Justin in Room 3."
As I entered Room 1, I couldn’t help but feel an adrenaline rush. This was it! This was the beginning of something I had been waiting my entire life for!
The inside of the room was very spartan. The first thing I noticed was a big clear tub in the middle of the room. A number of pipes seemed to surround it. In one corner was a little area where one could change behind those small partitions. The opposite corner had a computer station and a number of monitors, most likely used to monitor the patient and control whatever the tub did. There was also a small area with two chairs off to one side. Other than that, it was completely utilitarian. The floor, walls, and even the ceiling were covered in white tile, and there didn’t appear to be any decorations anywhere.
I stood there looking around for a little bit when I heard a knock on the door.
"Can I come in?" I heard.
"Yeah," I replied.
The door opened and Nina walked in.
"Hi, Nina," I said excitedly. "It's good to see you again."
"It's good to see you too, honey," she said while giving me a small hug. "Come on, you have an appointment with destiny, and we need to get you ready."
That brought a smile to my face.
"You need to take your clothes off first. You can either do it behind the screen, or here, but either way, you need to be naked for this part of the procedure."
"Do I get a robe or something?" I asked.
"Not for this part, sweetie," she replied. "Get undressed and we'll get you hooked up in the tub."
"Okay," I said. "What is the tub for, anyway?" I asked as I headed for the screen. As I was undressing, she answered my question.
"The tub will contain a nutrient mix that will help your body as it changes. It will also wipe away the secretions that your body will make."
"Secretions?" I had to ask. It sounded really gross.
"Um," she hesitated. "When your body shrinks, the extra mass needs to go somewhere. During the procedure, the extra mass is secreted through your pores in a very nasty looking goo. I'll be honest - it grosses me out every time. You should be happy that it will all be washed away before you wake up.
"Are you ready yet?" she asked.
"I guess so," I replied.
"Okay then, just come out and hop in the tub."
I did as she asked, blushing the whole time I walked across the room.
"Just sit tight for a second. Dr. Young will be here shortly to start the procedure."
The bathtub was clear, so I couldn’t really hide anything while sitting there. To make matters worse, I was getting a little excited at the thought of fulfilling my dreams. I just wanted it to be over with so that I could get on with my life in the way it should be.
After a short wait, Dr. Young came into the room.
"Are you ready, Jaz?" he asked.
"I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life," I replied.
"Good," he smiled. "Let's get started then. In a moment we will give you a shot, which will introduce the retrovirus into your body. We will then fill the tub with a nutrient that your body can use to help fuel the changes. Before the tub is full, you should be asleep. Next thing you know, you’ll be looking forward to Stage 2."
He opened a briefcase that he had brought in with him and pulled out a large hypodermic needle. Stepping toward me, I almost freaked at the sight.
"Don’t like needles?" he guessed.
"Not at all," I replied with a nervous laugh.
"Well this one is going to help you become the real you, so think about that person; it might help you get past any pain it might cause. Now, please kneel down in the tub, this shot needs to be administered in the buttocks."
I couldn’t help it. I started giggling. Hearing someone his age say that just seemed funny to me for some reason.
Anyway, I did as he requested, leaning my head over the side. I tried to think about what kind of girl I would become, but I really didn’t have any idea.
His suggestion didn’t work anyway. I cried out when he inserted the needle, and again when he depressed the stopper. I hated shots with a passion, and this one was no different.
"See," he said. "That wasn’t so bad."
I hadn’t even noticed that he had pulled it out! It still felt like it was in there!
"The burning sensation will go away in a second or two. In the meantime we are going to start filling the tub."
I turned around and sat down in the tub. The next thing I knew an amber liquid was pouring into the tub. It was warm and felt quite inviting. It was thicker than water, but I found that I could still move around easily in it. When the tub was about half full, I started to feel drowsy. The last thing I remembered before falling asleep was Dr. Young speaking.
"Sweet dreams, Jaz, we'll see you on the other side."
Chapter 13 - Great Things, Small Packages
It was quiet when I woke up. I just laid there looking at the ceiling for a while.
"Are you awake?" I heard someone ask.
"Yeah," I said. "How long was I out?"
"About 9 hours, it's about 6:15 in the evening."
"Oh," I said while finally lifting my head up. It turned out to be Nina I was talking too.
"How do you feel?" she asked.
"I feel great, actually. A little weak, but I feel like I’ve been sleeping for months."
"Well, you have been asleep for a while. You should start to feel more strength shortly. It looks like the Procedure is progressing perfectly," she said while walking over to me.
I noticed then that I was no longer in the room with the tub. The room I was in looked like a hospital room. They must have moved me to some sort of recovery room.
"Are you ready to see the changes?" she asked.
"I guess so," I said nervously.
She came over and helped me sit up in the bed. She then pulled back the sheets and helped me pull off the hospital gown I was wearing, which gave me a chance to see myself.
"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! I was tiny! My arms, my legs, even my chest and waist had all lost circumference. I was skinny. That was about the best I could describe it. My whole body was very thin looking, but in a healthy way.
And I had curves! There was no way to deny it. I had the figure of a woman! My hips were wider, and my waist was narrower! I didn’t know what my measurements were, but I bet they were around what a lot of people would consider ideal.
"Come on, I’ll help you to a mirror," she said while helping me move my legs off the side of the bed.
"On three we stand, okay?" she asked.
"Okay," I replied.
"One," she started counting. "Two, three."
I tried to stand, but I would have fallen straight to the floor if Nina hadn’t been holding me up.
"You alright?" she asked.
"Yeah," I replied. "I was just expecting the floor a lot sooner!"
She laughed. "You’ve lost nearly nine inches in height. I guess that’s to be expected."
"Nine inches?" Wow, that was a lot!
"Yes, you’re a tiny little thing now," she said. "You’re only 5'0" tall, and weigh about 95 pounds."
"I guess that explains why everything seems so big," I said, as she helped me get on my feet.
"Whoa," I said when I looked at her. "This is really weird." She looked like an Amazon.
"Don’t worry," she said. "You’ll get used to it. You’re small, even for a woman, but you’re still you."
She helped me walk over to a mirror next to the door. I could tell that I walked differently. It seemed like there was more of a sway to my walk. I knew I walked like a girl, and it made me happy.
"What?" Nina asked when she saw the grin on my face.
"I just can’t believe this is happening," I said. "I’ve wanted this for so long, and now it’s happening. I look like a girl, and now I’m moving like one too!"
"Well, you have a long way to go. But this is a start."
Once I got in front of the mirror, my ego was deflated a bit. Standing in front of me wasn’t the beautiful girl I had seen in my head.
I certainly was going to be gorgeous, that was easy to see, but I had a long way to go.
I was tiny, there was no denying that. It was also a girl’s body, because the curves were too pronounced to be found on a male. But I didn’t really look like a girl.
My penis was probably the biggest giveaway. It was still unchanged, and looked out of place between my wide hips and narrow thighs.
The lack of breasts was a dead giveaway, also. It looked strange to see a male set of nipples and a flat chest between the tiny shoulders and the small waist.
My face also looked wrong on my body. It was a lot more femininely shaped, but it still looked male. It was sort of like somebody took a male face and put it over top of a female skull.
Perhaps that was an accurate analogy. The doctors said the skeletal structure changed during Stage 1, but the external changes wouldn’t occur until Stage 3.
"At least I don’t look weird like this," I thought out loud.
"Don’t worry, sweetie," Nina said. "The rest of you will catch up in a couple of days."
I just gave her a quick smile. "I can’t wait," I said truthfully.
"Well, if you’re up to it, the doctors want everyone in the conference room in a few minutes to go over what will happen tomorrow. Do you want to get dressed and go?"
"Yes, I’m feeling a lot stronger now. I wouldn’t mind seeing how the others are doing too."
"I’m sure they would like to see you too," she said. "None of them have had a chance since you were pulled out of the tub. I think they are going to have some food there too."
"Good," I said, "Because I’m starving!"
"Put these on then. Jill went and got them for you, so they should fit."
She handed me a bag. Inside the bag was a pair of white shorts, a pink and white striped tank top, a lacy white bra and panty set, a pair of the flesh colored panties, some breast forms that were a little smaller, and the wig from the other night.
Once I had everything on, I couldn’t keep myself from staring in the mirror. The clothes made me look hot. It was obvious that I had the kind of body that the clothes were designed for.
The shorts fit me like a glove and ended a couple inches past my crotch, short but without looking slutty. If I wasn’t wearing the flesh panties I would probably have a very telling bulge. The tank top hugged my waist and my breasts tightly, but in an 'I know I’m attractive, but I’ve got morals' kind of way. The hair framed my face just like it did the other day, but it was a lot longer now, ending about half way down my back. It was just as blonde as before, and just as beautiful.
Nina handed me a pair of flip-flops that she had been holding. They were white, but had pink straps and a pink sole. They matched the outfit perfectly. She then added a little makeup to complete the look.
It was perfect. I looked like I could be in a fashion magazine. The makeup seemed to hide the male flaws that I still had while enhancing the feminine ones I had gained.
"Come on," Nina said while lightly pulling on my arm.
She led me out of the room and down a hall to the conference room.
As we approached I could here people talking. It sounded like small talk. When we entered the room I noticed that the doctors and the rest of my team, including Jay, were eating pizza while they talked.
I think Justin saw me first, because he pretty much spit out what he was drinking and just stared at me. The others looked at him for a second before their eyes followed his toward me.
"Oh my gosh!" Nikki shrieked as she jumped up from her chair and ran toward me.
"You look amazing," she continued while wrapping me in a hug. "And you’re so tiny!"
"It's good to see you too," I said while returning the hug. She was definitely a lot bigger than me. "I hear you guys have food."
"Oh," Nikki said while pulling me back toward her seat. "Sit over by me. We can talk while we eat."
"Okay," I said.
I sat down next to her and grabbed a slice of pizza.
"What’s it like?" she asked.
"What’s what like?" I had to reply.
"You know, the changes, and shrinking so much.”
"Well, it's kind of weird," I said. "Everything is so big. I also move differently now, but it feels natural to me, probably because it is with this body. Other than that, it's pretty much just life as usual."
We talked a little bit more while we ate, but it was pretty much just small talk. I tried to ignore the stares I was getting from Justin and Jay. I knew I looked attractive, but I didn’t think they would just keep staring. That was just rude.
After we were finished eating, Dr. Young quieted us down for the meeting.
"Alright," he said, "It looks like all of you made it through Stage 1 okay, now we are going to look forward to the 3 other stages.
"Stage 2 will begin sometime tomorrow. The retrovirus is designed to give the body some downtime to recuperate before it starts. A good estimate is usually about 24 hours after the time Stage 1 began.
"Unlike Stage 1," he continued, "There isn’t a whole lot to monitor. You will not have to stay here in Medical, but do not do any kind of physical workout, as that will just tax the body unnecessarily. I would suggest making use of some of our recreation facilities like the movie theater where you can sit down and have fun without much effort.
"You will be required to come in for a checkup at noon, and again at five in the evening. If you start to feel sick or are in pain, please come in so that we can make sure nothing is wrong. Any questions?"
"What exactly will happen to us during Stage 2?" I asked.
"Oh, I guess that is information you would want to know," he said with a smirk.
"Stage 2 consists of all the internal changes that are made," he continued. "All three of you will undergo a strengthening of the immune system as the primary change. All of your organs will be strengthened and healed as well. There isn’t really anything physical that you can see during this stage, but by the end of the day you will feel better than you ever have before, because you will be.
"This is also the stage where Jasmine's new internal reproductive organs will form."
That made me blush really badly. The guys didn’t need to know that. But despite my embarrassment, the doctor continued.
"We aren’t quite sure if the testicles will be used to create the ovaries or not," he said while addressing me, "but by the end of the day you should have a uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes. We expect your cervix will meet up with your vagina when it grows sometime the next day."
I was ready to die! Both of the boys had a disgusted look on their face, and I didn’t really want them thinking about my girl parts.
"Dr. Young!" I heard Jill growl, "That is inappropriate, please stop!"
"What?" he asked, clearly not understanding.
"Can’t you see how bad you are embarrassing her?" Jill continued. "It's not very polite to talk about a girl’s privates like that, especially with boys around."
Great, now the two boys were chuckling. Somebody just shoot me.
"Oh," the doctor said sheepishly. "I didn’t realize. I’m sorry, Jaz, I was trying to talk about the medical side of the Procedure, I guess I didn’t think about how that would affect you emotionally. I apologize."
I just put my head down on the table. I didn’t want them to see me laughing. It didn’t work though, because Nikki was able to tell.
"She's fine," Nikki stated with a small laugh. "She's laughing her head off now."
The others chuckled a little bit, and eventually I lifted my head.
"You okay?" Nikki asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Again, I’m sorry, Jaz," Dr. Young said.
"It's okay," I replied. "I’m just not used to talking about this stuff."
"Well, I think we went through most of what I wanted to say. How about we meet again tomorrow night around the same time? That will give us enough time to finish the checkups, and still give you guys enough time to eat afterward."
We all agreed and the doctors got up to go.
"See you all tomorrow," Dr. Young said as he walked out the door.
"Jaz," Nina said to me before she left. "If you have any problems whatsoever, come see me."
"Okay," I said, "I will."
Only the team was left in the conference room.
"Well," Jay said. "It's only about seven, how about a game of bowling? We could try boys against girls."
"You guys have a bowling alley here?” I asked.
"Yeah," he said, "this place has quite a bit to keep you entertained. Genesis Alpha is a small city, and it has all the conveniences of such."
"Well," I said, "I’m up for anything as long as I make it back to my room in time to call my mom tonight."
"You won’t need to go to bed quite so early tonight," Agent Harris, or Rob as he'd asked us to call him, said. "The hard part is over already."
"Let's go then."
The bowling was actually a lot of fun, and it allowed us to get to know each other a lot better. The three boys beat the three of us girls in both games we played, but the second game was really close.
We got back to our rooms at about nine thirty. Jay wanted us to go to a movie in the morning to help pass the time, so after we all agreed to meet in the hall at nine in the morning, we headed into our rooms.
I noticed that Jay's room was the fourth one in our set of doors, across the hall from Nikki and next to Justin's. I guess it made sense to keep us together as a team, but I had never seen him come in or out.
Once I was inside my room, I grabbed my phone and sat in the recliner in my front room.
My youngest brother, Ben, was the one who answered when I dialed home.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Hi Ben," I replied. I was kind of nervous talking to him. I had this strange feeling he would be able to tell I was changing.
"Hi Brett, how’s the vacation?"
"Pretty good, actually," I said, "This place is amazing. We actually just got done bowling not too long ago. You wouldn’t think that this was a government lab because of all the fun things they have to keep us occupied."
"That’s cool," he said. I was pretty sure he didn’t really care. "Do you want to talk to Mom?"
"Yes please," I said.
I heard him yell for my mom, and a little while later I heard her get on.
"Hello?" she asked, not sure of who was on the line.
"Hi, Mom," I said.
"Hi sweetie, how are you doing?" she asked.
"I’m doing great," I waited for the click that would denote my brother hanging up. It never came. "Ben?"
After a short pause, he finally spoke up, "Yeah?"
"Can you give us a few minutes?"
"Yeah," he said, and I heard him hang up. I waited to make sure he wasn’t going to try to pick it back up while we were talking, before continuing.
"How are you doing, Mom?" I asked.
"I’m doing better," she replied. "It's just a lot to take in. I mean, you won’t be the same when you come home. I don’t know how to handle that."
"I know, Mom," I tried to comfort her. "We can deal with it when I get home. I don’t think you will be able to come to terms with anything until you see me."
We continued to talk about things for a while. It was clear that Mom was going to accept the change, but it was going to take some time for her to do so. She told me that she wasn’t ready to hear about my changes yet, and that she would deal with them when I got home.
Eventually, I heard someone pick up the phone. Before I could say anything, my sister was already talking. "Brett?"
"Yeah, it's me," I said. "What’s up?"
"I was going to ask you that!" she said.
I just giggled, which was probably the wrong thing to do.
"Oh my gosh!" she said. "You’re already acting like a girl."
"Of course I am," I said. "I’m already part way there."
My mom was quick to interrupt. I knew she wasn’t ready to hear this. "I'll let the two of you talk, I love you, Brett. I'll talk to you later."
"Okay, Mom," I replied. "I love you, bye."
"Bye, honey," she said before hanging up.
"So," Cami launched right back into the conversion. "What happened today?"
"Well, I slept most of the day, about nine hours I think. During that time my bone structure was changed into a girl’s. I shrunk, big time."
"Shrunk," she asked with a little bit of skepticism. "Like got smaller?"
"Yeah, I’m tiny!" I said. "I’m only five feet tall now, and I only weigh 95 pounds."
"No way!"
"Way! But even better, I’ve got curves! My hips are now shaped like a girl’s and my waist is really small!"
"You aren’t better looking than me, are you?" Her pout was evident through the phone.
"Not yet, Cami, but from what I’ve seen so far, I think I’m going to be beautiful."
"Well, it will be fun to have a sister either way," she said. "So what else has happened?"
"Nothing, so far. Other than the skeletal changes, nothing else has happened. Tomorrow is supposed to be internal changes, and then the day after that will be the big changes, like growing breasts and my vagina."
"That was really weird to hear you say," she giggled. "I guess this is really true."
"Yeah, this is like a dream come true," I said.
"Have you thought about a name yet?" she asked.
"Yes, in fact I am legally a girl, and my name is no longer Brett. One of the things we did yesterday was change all of my documents to match who I am."
"So..."
"Jasmine Rose Campbell," I said. I still loved the sound of it.
"Jasmine..." she repeated. "I like it, it's beautiful."
"Thank you," I said.
We talked for a while longer about other things. We had never really talked like this before. I guess we both really felt comfortable being sisters.
"You promise?" she asked as our conversation was winding down.
"I promise," I replied. "I’m going to need a whole new wardrobe and I'll need to redecorate my room. I promise we can go shopping together. I’ve got to go to bed now before I fall asleep on the phone."
"Are you going to call again tomorrow night?" she asked.
"It depends on what is going on tomorrow. I will if we aren’t doing anything, otherwise I will just wait until after the changes are complete on Friday."
"Alright," she said a little sadly. "I guess I'll talk to you then. I love you."
"I love you too, good night."
"Good night, Jasmine," she said, bringing a smile to my face.
After hanging up the phone, I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Makeup certainly added to the time needed to get ready, for bed and for the day, but it wasn’t a burden. It made me feel like a real girl.
After a stop at the toilet, where I sat down this time, I was off to the bedroom. I changed into a short nightgown and was in bed not long afterward, ready for more changes tomorrow.
![]() |
One simple test. That's all it took to change my life completely. Now, I have to learn how to use my new powers and how to be an agent for The Agency. But most importantly, I need to learn all about my new body. That would take some getting used to.
A Flower's Bloom |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 14 - The Pains of Womanhood
Nikki woke me up around 7:30. I knew she was trying to help me learn that it takes longer for women to get ready, so I didn’t say anything.
"No complaints?" she asked incredulously.
"Not that I’m going to voice," I replied. "I know why I’m awake so early."
"Get showered and dressed then. They left some clothes outside the door for you to wear. I'll be back to help you with your makeup when I’m ready."
"Okay," I said as she walked back to her room to get ready.
I got up and walked to my door. Opening it revealed a bag which I brought back inside to my bedroom. Inside was another pair of the flesh panties, another bra and panty set, a pair of tennis shoes, some socks, a white belt, a pair of jeans, a white camisole and a light pink tank top. There was also a white purse.
Leaving the clothes there for the time being, I headed into the bathroom and started the shower. One of these days I was going to try the bath. It looked really inviting.
After getting out of the shower and drying off, I headed back into my bedroom. I slipped on the flesh panties and picked up the bra and panty set. I slipped on the panties. It still amazed me how much better they fit since yesterday. I then put on the bra and slipped in the breast forms.
I looked in the mirror and admired myself for a moment. I had taken the wig off to sleep in, so I now looked like a girl with a boy’s haircut, but I at least looked like a girl! I couldn’t wait for my reflection to show me the real girl I was becoming.
I pulled myself away from the mirror and picked up the jeans. They looked really small. Everything else that I had been given was the correct size, so I had to assume they would fit.
I started to pull the jeans on, and found that it was easier said than done. It took a little more effort than I was used to, but they certainly fit well when they were on. They were a lot tighter than what I was used to, but not uncomfortably so. And they looked spectacular when I looked in the mirror. I certainly had a nice figure to show off now.
I put on the belt before picking up the camisole next. It looked like it was designed for layering. It was a little tight over my bust, but it hugged my curves like a second skin. The tank top was just as tight, but was a little smaller, letting the edges of the camisole peek out. I thought it looked really good.
I put the wig on and then the socks and shoes. When I looked in the mirror I was very pleased. I didn’t think anyone would mistake me for a boy now, because the skeletal changes were too great.
"Oh good," Nikki said, making me jump a mile. "You’re ready."
"You scared me to death!" I said. I hadn’t even heard her approach.
"Sorry," she apologized. "Are you ready for makeup?"
"Yeah. Do we have enough time that you could start to teach me?" I asked.
"Yes, actually, that was my plan."
Nikki was a very good teacher. She never touched my face, but demonstrated how to do it while doing her own makeup. We both had to start over a couple of times, but by 8:50 I had done a reasonably good job. Nikki felt it was at least good enough to make me presentable in public. She grabbed the purse from my bedroom and dumped a bunch of the cosmetics inside before handing it to me.
"You know," I said before we went out into the hallway. "I feel like they are dressing us up like twins.
"Yeah," she agreed. "I can’t wait until we can do our own shopping"
Once again Nikki and I were dressed in identical outfits, except her tank top was purple. The doctors said that we could pick out some of our own clothes from the stores here in the complex once we had finished changing.
As we stepped out into the hall, it was apparent that the guys had been waiting for us again. Neither of them said anything, but they clearly were irritated.
"Oh come on," I said. "It's not even 9:00 yet. You can’t get mad at us if we're early."
Justin not only looked upset, but a little queasy as well. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he said. "The doctor said it was normal. My stomach feels like it's turning inside out, but apparently that’s what it's supposed to do."
"Come on," Jay interjected. "Let's get something to eat, and then we can go see what’s playing."
On the way down to the cafeteria, it was obvious that Nikki was starting to feel it too, but she didn’t look nearly as bad.
"You okay?" I asked her a little concerned.
"Yeah," she replied. “I think it's the same thing Justin is feeling. I just want to know how you got so lucky."
"What do you mean?" I had to ask.
"Well, you were the first to begin the Procedure, you should have been feeling this way before Justin. I guess not feeling it makes you lucky."
"I don’t feel much of anything right now," I said. "I feel fine."
"Like I said, lucky."
In the cafeteria I got a couple of pancakes, some bacon, and some milk for breakfast. Breakfast was my favorite meal, and the Procedure wasn’t going to deny it for me.
"You know you are going to need to start watching what you eat," Nikki said in a sort of motherly voice. "You don’t want to lose that wonderful figure."
I had thought about that before, but it was Jay who put me at ease.
"Actually," he stated, "The Procedure changes the body’s metabolism. For the most part, we can eat what we want without worry. Our bodies use up just about everything, or they get rid of what can’t be used."
"That’s good to hear," I said with a smile on my face. Nikki was beaming like it was the best news she had ever heard.
After we finished eating we followed Jay down the courtyard toward the movie theater. There weren’t too many people out today; it was mostly women and small children. Perhaps most people were either working or in school. It still amazed me that they had a small city here, nestled in the mountains.
When we arrived at the movie theater, we checked to see what was playing. They had two screens, and it looked like we had a choice between an older romantic comedy, or a superhero movie.
"I guess you two want to see ‘Love is Real’, don’t you?" Justin asked.
"I wouldn’t mind seeing it," Nikki said, and then everyone turned to me.
"I don’t really care which we see," I said. "I’m beginning to feel sick anyway."
"The nausea?" Nikki asked.
"No, this is something else. It feels like my organs are being moved around."
"Well, they probably are," Nikki stated. "They need to make room for," she looked at the boys, "um, stuff."
I think the boys knew what she was going to say, because they both looked uncomfortable.
"Sorry," Nikki said sincerely.
"It's okay," I said, "They're just boys, they will get over it." I got a giggle from her when I stuck my tongue out at them, but the boys just rolled their eyes.
"Come on," Jay said, "let's go see what ‘Major Victory’ is up to."
"Aww," Nikki exclaimed. "I wanted to see ‘Love is Real’."
"It's okay," I comforted her, "we can go see it ourselves later."
The movie was actually pretty good. I had never heard of ‘Major Victory’ before, but the writers had done the show in a comedic way that made it quite entertaining.
It was about half way through that the pain really started. It was centered in my crotch, and it got worse as the movie went on. I thought I was going to need to walk out when I felt a pop and screamed.
I woke up in someone's arms. At least the pain was gone. I struggled for a second trying to figure out where I was and what had happened. It looked like we were still in the theater, and there were quite a few people looking at me. Looking behind me, I noticed that it was Justin who was holding me, which was weird.
"What happened?" I asked as I struggled to stand up.
"I don’t know," Justin said. He seemed to be really shaken up for some reason. "You screamed and then collapsed. You scared me, er, us to death."
I stood up and looked around. The movie was still going, and it looked like some of the people were mad at me for interrupting the movie. I didn’t mean to do it.
"Are you okay?" Nikki asked with concern on her face.
"Yeah," I said. "I just had the most horrible pain in my um, well, and then I don’t remember what happened. It seems to be gone now."
"Shhhh." I was not sure who it was, but they didn’t sound happy at all.
"Let’s just finish the movie," I said as I sat down in my seat.
"Are you sure you’re okay?" Nikki asked as she sat down too.
"Yeah, the pain seems to be gone. The movie is almost over and we have checkups afterward anyway. I'll be fine."
Eventually we all managed to get back to watching the movie. We hadn’t missed much of it, so it was easy to get back into it.
Nikki saw me holding my stomach a little while later and asked me if I was really okay.
"Yeah," I whispered back to her. "This is something different. My stomach is cramping now."
"Oh," she whispered back, "It isn’t, you know, is it?"
"I don’t know, I have no idea what that’s like, but I don’t see how it could be this soon."
The movie ended a few minutes later. As we were getting up to leave, a lady approached us. She appeared to be in her late forties, and she didn’t look very happy.
"Young lady," she said while addressing me. "That was very rude. We were trying to watch the movie." She indicated a young man in his mid-twenties who was standing behind her. "I don’t get to see my son much, and he really wanted to see this movie."
I looked over her shoulder. Her son seemed to be really embarrassed. I don’t think he felt the same way his mother did.
"I’m sorry," I said. "I didn’t mean to interrupt your movie. I’m still not sure what happened."
Justin stepped forward. I feared he was going to say something rude or stupid, so I grabbed his arm. That seemed to be enough to stop him, and he stepped back.
"You should be more considerate of others," she said to me in a patronizing tone.
"Excuse me, ma'am," Jay spoke up. "It was not her intention to disrupt the movie. We apologize for the interruption."
"And who are you?" she said while glaring at him. "Can’t she take responsibility for her own actions?"
"My name is Jay Johnson," Jay stated. "I am the team leader for A2, and this is my team. They are currently in the middle of going through the Procedure. There are things that can cause severe pain. I know it was not her intent to disturb anyone."
The woman's demeanor changed a bit. She obviously understood who we were and what we were going through, but she still looked upset.
"Don’t let it happen again," she said as she turned and walked away.
Justin was fuming. It looked like he really wanted to lay into her.
"Are you okay?" I asked him.
"No!" he replied angrily. "I hate people like that! Something could have been really wrong with you, and all she cared about was the movie!"
"It's okay, Justin," I tried to calm him. "Just forget about her."
"No, it's not okay! You were really hurt!" He looked like he was ready to cry. "You scared me to death."
"I," I didn’t know what to say. He was showing more emotion than I’d ever seen from him before. It was almost like...
NO! We were not going there! He knew all about me, for goodness sake! He wasn’t looking at me while I thought this through, but Nikki was. I could tell she had seen it when I realized what was going on. I knew she was going to make me talk to her about it later.
"Come on," Jay said to bring us back to our senses. "Let's get you guys to Medical."
We left the theater and headed toward Medical. When we arrived, we were taken to separate exam rooms. When I walked into the one I was directed to, I found Nina waiting for me.
"Hi, Jaz," she said as I walked in. "How are you feeling today?"
"I’m feeling okay right now," I said. "But I’ve had some stomach cramps all morning, and I blacked out because of pain while we were at a movie."
"What kind of pain?" she asked.
"It started out as a dull ache in my, um, crotch," I said a little embarrassed. "It kept getting worse. I was about to walk out of the movie when I felt the worst pain I’ve ever felt. After I woke up, the pain was gone."
"Has it come back at all?" she asked.
"No, but it wasn’t long after that the cramping started."
"Okay, let’s see if we can find out what’s happening. Please take off all your clothes and we can get started."
"Again?" I asked.
"I’m afraid so," she replied.
I stripped out of my clothes and hopped up onto the exam table. Nina started out with a normal physical first. It wasn’t until we got to the coughing part again that we found the first sign of changes.
"Well, I’m guessing that this was the cause of the blackout," she said.
"What?" I asked. I looked between my legs, and the change was pretty evident. "Oh, I guess that’s why the panties seemed to fit a little better."
My scrotum was completely empty! According to Nina, the pain that had knocked me out was probably when my testicles had ascended up into my body.
"Let's take a look on the inside," she suggested.
"Okay," I choked out. As I said it my voice caught in my throat. "Okay," I repeated. When I spoke the second time, it came out crystal clear, but it wasn’t my voice, it was a higher, more feminine voice. "Wow, I sound totally different!" I had to smile, my new voice was perfect!
"That does suit you well. I think that’s the first time someone's voice has changed while they were talking to me," she said while chuckling.
"Now," she continued while pulling a cart over to the exam bed. "We are going to do an ultrasound to see what’s happening inside."
She grabbed the ultrasound thing (I didn’t know what it was called), and squirted some jelly on it.
"This is going to be a little cold at first, but it will warm up," Nina said.
She wasn’t joking, either. I shrieked when she placed it on my stomach. It sounded so girly though!
A few minutes later she was showing me something that was going to change my life forever, and I couldn’t stop smiling!
"These are where your testicles ended up," she said, pointing to two round objects. "They appear to be ovaries now. These faint lines here are the edges of the fallopian tubes." I’ve never smiled so widely in my life! "And this," she continued as she followed the lines to another blob, "Is your new uterus. The cramping you were feeling was probably the compression of the surrounding tissue while these formed."
I was so happy! I’d wanted this for a long time. Being fertile was something I never imagined would be possible with today's technology.
Nina pronounced me okay after that and I changed back into my clothes. I gave Nina a hug as I headed out of the exam room. "Thanks, Nina," I said.
"You’re welcome, sweetie," she replied. "I'll see you this evening."
When I got back to the waiting room, I found that I was the last one to finish, again.
"Sorry, have you been waiting long?" I asked.
"Oh my gosh!" Nikki said. "That voice is so perfect for you! When did that happen?"
"It happened during my exam. I was talking to Nina, and I kind of choked. When I could speak again I sounded like this."
"Is everything okay?" Justin asked. He looked really concerned.
"Yeah," I replied. "I’ve been given a clean bill of health.
"Did you find out what caused..." he asked.
"Yes," I interrupted. I did not want to talk about this with him.
"What was it?" he continued to dig. He seemed awfully interested for some reason.
"It was...personal." I stated. He wasn’t going to get much more from me on this subject.
He seemed a little dejected that I wouldn’t tell him. "But you’re alright?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied coldly. "The doctors say I’m doing great."
He relaxed somewhat, but he really got on my nerves. Fortunately, it appeared that Jay was able to pick up on the tension. If he had, then I think he would make a great commander. If not, then he was lucky, because I didn’t know how much longer I could keep from screaming at Justin.
"Are you guys hungry?" Jay asked. His question was aptly timed to break up any hostilities. I couldn’t believe how mad I felt! Justin didn’t really do anything wrong, did he?
Suddenly, something was wrong with me. A second ago I was ready to kill Justin, now I was crying my eyes out! Nikki was trying to comfort me, but nothing she did seemed to help.
"Are you okay, Jaz?" she asked.
"No," I replied between sobs. "I don’t know what’s wrong."
Jay sent Justin to go find Nina. When they came back, Nina rushed over toward where I had slumped to the floor.
"Jaz, what’s wrong?" she asked.
"I don’t know," I replied. "I can’t stop crying!"
"Come on, let’s get you back to an exam room. Nikki, Help me lift her up."
Nikki and Nina managed to move me back to an exam room where they laid me on the bed.
Nina grabbed some tool out of a cabinet and came back over to me. "This will hurt a little bit," she said before placing the tip near my arm.
I felt a small prick that made me cry out a little bit. Nina pulled the device away from my arm and looked at a small screen attached to the device.
"I thought so," she said while examining the data.
"What?" Nikki asked while holding my hands.
"Her body is being flooded with female hormones," Nina explained. "The retrovirus is trying to bring her hormone levels up to female norms. She is experiencing very violent mood swings."
"That’s an understatement," Nikki mentioned. "Is there anything you can do for her?"
"No, not really. This is probably like PMS on steroids for her right now, but she should stabilize in a few minutes. Until then, the best thing we can do is try to comfort her."
It was another 15-20 minutes before I stopped crying. Once I did, however, I felt great.
"Wow," I said. "I actually feel a lot better."
"A good cry can do that for you," Nina said, "And this was similar, if not what the saying means. You should be over the worst of it, but you will probably be quite emotional for the rest of the day, maybe a little longer."
"Okay," I said. "I really need something to eat now."
"You should be good to go," Nina said. "I'll see you again this evening if nothing else comes up."
"Thanks, Nina, you make this seem so easy," I said.
"Don’t worry, sweetie, this will be over soon and you will have a wonderful life ahead of you. Now, go get some food."
I gave her a small smile as we left the exam room.
"Come on," Nikki said as she pulled me into the women's room down the hall. "You need to fix your makeup."
She walked me through reapplying it. I could tell that I was getting better, but I still had a long way to go.
All fixed up, we headed back to the waiting room. Jay and Justin were waiting for us, looking worried. They stood up as we approached.
"Are you okay?" Jay asked. Justin looked very agitated. It looked like he wanted to say something, but a glance from Jay made him stop.
"Yeah," I said. "I’m sorry. Nina said that my body was trying to bring my hormone levels to a normal level for a girl. Nina said my body is going through a super PMS kind of thing, and I’m going to be very emotional for a while. I didn’t mean to take it out on you guys."
"It's okay, Jaz," Jay reassured me. "Going through the Procedure is hard, and you are going through things we can’t imagine. Don’t worry about it. Just concentrate on getting through it."
He had a smile on his face that I duplicated. "Thank you," I said. "It's hard, but it's worth it."
"Come on," he said. "I’m starved."
It was about 1:30 when we finally made it to the cafeteria. There weren’t too many people eating, and we were able to get our food and a table relatively quickly. We talked through lunch, but Jay made sure we kept it neutral, and we never really discussed us or the Procedure.
When lunch was over, we were discussing what we should do.
"I wouldn’t mind going for a swim sometime today," Justin said.
"Ooh, that sound like fun," Nikki said. "What about you Jaz, want to go swimming?"
"That does sound like fun," I said. "But I’m exhausted right now. I wouldn’t mind taking a short nap first."
"I think that would be a good idea," Jay stated. "It's been a long emotional morning. How about we head back to the rooms and rest until 3:00, and then we can meet in the hallway to head down to the pool. The changes should be done by then, so it would be easier on your bodies also."
"Sounds good to me," Nikki said while the rest of us nodded our heads.
"All right, let’s go."
We headed back to the rooms, and we split up to enter our own. I went into my bedroom and laid on the bed. It wasn’t long afterward that I was asleep.
Chapter 15 - Wet and Exhausted
I woke up at about 2:30. I was going to knock on the door between mine and Nikki's room to see if she knew where to get a swimsuit, but I found a bag on the bar that had a note attached. The note was from Nikki. She had taken the liberty of talking to Jill and getting the two of us swimsuits.
Looking in the bag I found a one-piece that was identical to the one I had worn the other day, only smaller. Much smaller, to be exact. There was also a pink cover-up to wear down to the pool.
Before I had a chance to do anything with it, there was a knock on the door between mine and Nikki's room. I found Nikki and Jill on the other side when I opened it.
"I thought I heard you moving around," Nikki said. "If we are going to go swimming, we need to attach these," she poked my breasts, "to your chest."
"Why?" I asked. I wasn’t quite sure what that would accomplish.
"Because," Jill said, "If you don’t they might swim right out of your suit."
"Oh…" That would be embarrassing.
"Also, the bathing suit we got you is going to show a little bit of cleavage. It's going to look really weird if your boobs aren’t attached to your chest."
I giggled at that, it was a funny picture. "So how do we attach them?" I asked.
"Come on, into the bathroom," Jill said while guiding me toward the door. "Take off everything but the flesh panties."
I did as I was told, and a couple of minutes later she was pressing one of the breast forms to my chest. She had spread some sort of adhesive on both my chest and the breast form. When she removed her hand, the form stayed in place on my chest. She repeated the process with the other one, and I was left with a weight on my chest that was unfamiliar, but strangely comforting.
"Wow, that’s...different," I said. I didn’t know what else to say.
"This is nothing," Nikki said. "Just wait until tomorrow when they are real."
"I can’t wait," I said with a big smile.
Looking down, I noticed something that wasn’t going to work. "What about..." I said while pointing to the edge of one of the forms.
"We need to blend it in using this," Jill said, holding up a second bottle.
The second bottle contained another adhesive, but this one was flesh colored. When they used it around the edge of the forms, it blended in perfectly. It was almost impossible to tell they weren’t real.
When I looked in the mirror, I shrieked with delight. I knew they weren’t real yet, but they certainly looked that way. Jill also used the adhesive to anchor the wig before her cell phone rang, and she headed out of the bathroom to answer it.
"Come on, Jaz," Nikki said while tugging me away from the mirror a few minutes later. "You are giving us a bad name by making us late all the time. You really are a girl, you know that?"
"Fine," I sighed. "Ruin the best moments of my life then."
She looked at me with a guilty look. "Jaz, I," I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I started laughing. "You jerk! I thought you were serious!" She started laughing too.
"Are you two okay?" Jill asked as she stuck her head back in the bathroom.
"Yeah," Nikki said. "Just pulling Jaz away from the mirror again."
"Well, I need to run to a meeting. You two have fun and I'll see you later."
"Okay, Jill," Nikki said. "Thanks for all the help."
When she had left, Nikki turned back to me. "Put your suit on. Because you don’t look complete down there," she pointed down, "We won’t be changing in the locker room."
Like before, the swimsuit covered the flesh panties, but it looked so much better this time. My new curves were accentuated in the suit, and the breast forms left no doubt that I was a woman. Even the cleavage looked perfect.
Nikki just rolled her eyes and pulled me away from the mirror again. She handed me the cover-up and I slipped it on over the swimsuit. I grabbed a towel as she pulled me out of the bathroom.
"We still have five minutes," I said after looking at the clock on the wall.
"For once, you are not going to make me late," she said.
I grabbed my purse and we headed out into the hall. Nikki had better be happy, I thought, because the boys weren’t there yet. We sat down on the floor to wait. At five after they still weren’t out and Nikki was getting antsy. She stood up and knocked on Justin's door. A second later he opened the door, and it was obvious the two of them had been watching TV.
“Are you guys still coming swimming?" she asked.
"Yeah," Justin responded. "We just didn’t think you would be ready yet."
"We've been waiting for 10 minutes," she said, quite upset.
"Oh, let me grab my stuff and we can go." he said. He didn’t even notice her irritation.
It was another five minutes before they were ready. It was apparent that they hadn’t done anything to prepare before we knocked on the door.
We eventually made our way down to the gym. We split off in the lobby and headed into the women's locker room.
I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but inside was just a normal locker room. We had been in here before, so I knew the layout, but seeing women walking around was quite different. Strangely, I didn’t really feel aroused when I saw them in various stages of undress. It was just normal.
We found a pair of lockers together and took off our cover-ups and stowed them and our purses.
"Wow," I said when I saw Nikki in her suit. "You look great in that."
"Thanks," she said. "The skeletal changes really helped give me a nice figure."
Nikki was wearing a purple bikini that was trimmed with a small band of white. It looked really good on her. I hoped that I would look that good when I was done changing.
"We have to come back in a day or two and see what you look like in a bikini," she said, practically reading my mind.
"I think I would like that," I said.
We closed the lockers and headed toward the door to the gym. We walked into the gym but could not see the boys. That didn’t really surprise me since they were going to change here.
While we were waiting, I looked around the gym. It was a little different today because there were other people here. Most of the people were on the exercise machines. There were a couple of small kids running around the kiddy pool, and a couple of mothers, but for the most part the pools were empty. It was probably too early for the school kids and the workers to be swimming.
Nikki pulled her hair into a ponytail and secured it with a band.
"Want yours in a ponytail too?" she asked.
"Can I do that with the wig?" I asked.
"Oh," she said. "Probably not."
"Next time then," I said.
Eventually the boys came out, and I think their eyes almost bulged out of their heads.
Justin couldn’t stop staring at me, and Jay seemed to be staring at Nikki.
"You two look great," Justin said, but I don’t think he had looked at Nikki yet.
"Thanks," we both said together.
We had a great time swimming. We put all our worries and issues aside and just had fun.
We had the pool to ourselves for about 45 minutes before a group of teenagers about our age showed up. We were taking a break and sitting in the hot tub. I guess school had been let out, and some of them decided to go swimming.
They seemed surprised to see us. In such a small community they probably knew everybody their age in the complex, but they didn’t know us.
There were five of them, two girls and three guys. As they approached, they seemed to recognize Jay.
"Hey, Jay," one of the guys said. "Who are your friends?"
"Hey, Bill," Jay said. "These three are the new members of A2.”
"Oh," Bill said, "I heard the team was forming, but didn’t realize you guys were already here."
"Guys," Jay said turning to us. "This is Bill, Frank, Jermaine, Suzanne, and Billie," he pointed out each of them as he said their names.
He then pointed to us and said, "This is Justin, Nikki, and Jasmine."
"Pleased to meet you," I said, which was followed by a chorus of similar responses.
We continued swimming for another half an hour before we had to leave for our checkups. The other kids our age made it a lot more fun, and we were disappointed that we had to leave. The only downside to the afternoon was all the attention I was getting. I was used to Justin staring at me by now, but each of the other boys seemed to be checking me out as well. I knew it was something I needed to get used to, but it was still disconcerting.
"What are you guys doing tonight?" Bill asked as we were drying off before heading for the locker rooms.
"I don’t think we have anything planned," Jay answered for us.
"Do you guys want to go to the club or something?" Bill asked.
"I’m too exhausted," I said. "I may just go back to my room and fall asleep after the checkup." I really was too. I didn’t know if it was because of the Procedure or my new size, but I was ready to fall over.
"Come on, Jaz," Justin said," You promised you would go."
"And I will," I said irritably, "But right now my body is telling me to sleep. I don’t know if it’s the Procedure or not, but I can hardly stand."
"She does look wiped out," Nikki said, and I heard the other two girls agree. "Perhaps it's best if she doesn’t come tonight. The rest of us will come."
Nikki and I headed toward the locker room.
"Nikki," I said as we approached, "I’m not going to make it!"
The last thing I remember as I fell forward was Nikki screaming my name while she tried to catch me.
![]() |
One simple test. That's all it took to change my life completely. Now, I have to learn how to use my new powers and how to be an agent for The Agency. But most importantly, I need to learn all about my new body. That would take some getting used to.
A Flower's Bloom |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 16 - Dreams Come True
It was dark when I awoke. The room appeared to be a hospital room, and the lights were dim. I was wearing a hospital gown, which made me worry a little bit.
There wasn’t anyone in the room, so I got up off the bed and looked out the door. There was a small nurses’ station on the other side of the hall. It looked like a nurse had her head on the desk.
I crossed the hall and when I approached the desk I could hear light snoring.
"Excuse me?" I said. The nurse didn’t budge. I walked around the desk and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Excuse me?" I repeated.
She jumped, and I shrieked in response.
"Oh my gosh," she said. "Don’t DO that!"
"I’m sorry," I said. "I didn’t mean to scare you."
"It's okay," she said. "I can’t believe I fell asleep. How long have you been awake?"
"Um, not very long. Where am I?"
"You’re in the medical ward here at Alpha Complex. You didn’t know?"
"No," I replied. "The last thing I remember is walking toward our lockers in the locker room. What happened to me? Where is everybody?"
"Dr. Patrick said your body was exhausted. She said the swimming just taxed the low energy levels it had, and it knocked you out to finish the changes. Everybody went to bed when they found out you were stable."
"Oh," I said. "What time is it?"
She looked at her watch. "It's about 5:00," she said.
"In the morning?" I asked.
"Yes; you’ve been out all night, which is why I’m here. We don’t usually have patients spend the night."
"I’m sorry," I apologized.
"It's not your fault, honey. The Procedure can be taxing on the body. Most patients would have been fine doing what you did. But because of your extensive changes, your body wasn't up to the exertion."
"What happens now?" I asked.
"I can wake up Dr. Patrick if you want," she said, "but she recommended you try to go back to sleep if you woke up before she came in."
"Who's Dr. Patrick?" I asked.
"Nina?" she responded. She looked a little confused that I wouldn’t know my own doctor.
"Oh!" I said. "I don’t think she ever told me her last name."
"Anyway," the nurse continued. "What do you want to do?"
"I guess I'll try to get some more sleep," I said.
"Okay," she said, "I'll be out here if you need me."
"Okay. What’s your name?"
"My name is Brooklyn," she said.
"Thanks for watching over me, Brooklyn," I said as I walked back into my room.
"You’re welcome, sweetie," she said before I was out of sight.
I went into the adjoining bathroom to relieve myself. I knew they had done it, but seeing myself without the wig and breast forms was the last thing I wanted to do. The only plus was that I would have my own by the end of the day.
After relieving myself I climbed back into bed. I thought it was going to be hard to get back to sleep after 12 hours, but I was asleep within half an hour.
"Jaz," the voice said, "Wake up."
I groaned. I could sleep for another hour or two.
"Jaz, I heard that." It was Nikki. There was no mistaking her enthusiasm.
"Want more sleep," I said.
"You’ve been asleep for 15 hours. You’re missing the best part! Changes are happening, missy!"
"What do you mean?" I said while sitting up. I was wide awake now!
I knew right away what she was talking about. A cascade of blonde locks fell around my face! I shrieked in excitement and ran for the bathroom.
It was beautiful! It was long! It was perfect!
The most beautiful color of blonde flowed all the way down to the small of my back! I was giddy and couldn’t stop jumping up and down. The whole time my hair was bouncing with me and I was amazed at how heavy it was.
It also framed the most gorgeous face I had ever seen! My lips were fuller and my eyes looked bigger! My nose was perfect and my cheekbones were more pronounced! I could still see me in there, but it was me as a beautiful girl!
I looked back at my hair, it was very straight, and oddly enough, it appeared to be styled. It was perfectly how I would want it to look!
"Did you style it while I was asleep?" I asked Nikki.
"No, a second ago it was all wild and crazy like it had been slept on. I don’t know how it looks like that now." She seemed surprised when she looked at it.
"Well, it's beautiful." I admired it for another minute or two before I started looking over my body. "That seems to be the only change so far," I said after peeking in my robe.
"Yeah, we haven’t seen anything else really change, not even on Justin or myself," she said. "The doctors expect that for the most part my changes and Justin's changes will be small cosmetic things. He doesn’t think we will change that much.
"You, on the other hand," she continued, "are going to have the best day of your life! Wait here. I'll go get Nina and Jill."
Nina and Jill came into the bathroom with Nikki a few moments later. They both had smiles on their faces as they looked at my hair.
"Wow," Jill said. "You two did a good job styling it."
"That’s just it," Nikki said. "We didn’t touch it. It changed by itself."
"Are you sure?" Nina asked. She sounded intrigued.
"Yeah," Nikki replied," When she jumped up and ran for the bathroom it was still unkempt, but it looked like this when I reached the bathroom behind her."
"Jaz," Nina said while pulling out a clipboard, "What were you thinking about when you were heading to the bathroom?"
"I don’t know," I said. After a moment’s thought I continued. "I was imagining what it would look like."
"Okay, she said, "What do you think you would look like if your hair was curly?"
I thought about it, but was interrupted when they all gasped.
"What?" I asked as I turned back toward the mirror. My hair was now curly. It fell in nice waves down my back. But the scary part was that it was exactly how I had imagined it!
"That is so cool!" Nikki said.
"Yes," Nina agreed. "I think this is probably the first power manifestation of you three. Because it is showing up at the time the physical changes appeared, it's probably safe to assume this is a minor power."
"It's way cool though," I said while running my hands through another style I had thought up.
"Did you paint your nails?" Jill asked me.
"No," I said looking at my nails. They were painted a light pink that was very pretty. I had a sudden thought, and imagined them bright red.
"It's not just my hair," I said as I held my hand out to show them my nails changing color.
"If you can change your nail color, can you change your hair color as well?" Nina asked while writing again.
I turned back to the mirror and imagined myself as a brunette. It was amazing to watch my hair change color. It was a quick change, but I could definitely see the new color start at my scalp and continue to the end.
"Wow," Nikki said, "Your skin tone changed slightly to make it look better."
"Actually," Nina said while writing more things down on her clipboard. "I bet Jaz felt the different skin tone better suited the hair color. Jaz, what if you had a tan, what would it look like?"
"I don’t know," I said again, but tried to imagine it. My skin darkened a little bit. "Wow," I said.
"What if you were black?" Nina asked.
"Like African-American black?" I asked.
"Yes," she clarified.
I tried to picture myself with a browner skin tone, and my skin darkened a little bit, but not to what I was picturing. It still just looked like a tan.
"So no racial changes then," she said after seeing my reaction. "I wonder if that’s a physical or mental limitation." She wrote some more on her clipboard.
"If I can change my looks like this, how do I know who is me?" I asked.
"You mean, how you look without modification?" Jill asked. She almost sounded like a therapist, which reminded me of her job. I hope I could cope with this.
"Yeah," I said. I wanted to know me, not these other girls.
"Well," Nina interrupted. "You are still you. These changes appear to be superficial only. Your face and physical structure have not changed at all. The only real change has been in coloring and the style of your hair."
I understood what she meant and looked back at the mirror. She was right. The beautiful face I had seen when I first walked into the bathroom was still there. I concentrated on trying to change it, but nothing happened.
"Can’t change it?" Nina asked. I shook my head. "I doubt you will ever be able to change the structure. Usually small powers like this can be developed during the first 3 stages. They usually are easy to control, like this one, and never really grow beyond."
"But what do I really look like?" I asked.
"Your original look, the one you saw when you entered the bathroom, is you. It didn’t change until you consciously made it change," Nina said.
"But my hair changed," I said. I actually had tears in my eyes now.
"Jaz," Nikki said in a comforting tone. "I saw you before you even woke up. The only thing that changed between when you ran for the bathroom and when I got there was the neatness of it. When I woke you up it was already in that straight style, it just looked like you had been sleeping on it." She gave me a hug and helped me let it out.
"I just want to be me," I said into her shoulder.
"You are," she said and turned me toward the mirror. "See?"
She was right, of course. The beautiful blonde I had seen originally was looking back at me again. Somehow I knew that she was me, which made me feel much better.
"This is going to take some getting used to," I said while drying my eyes. "I’m sorry, I just felt horrible. I can't believe I’m crying so much."
"It's okay, Jaz, your body is still adjusting to your hormones," Nina said. "Any strong feelings you have are probably going to get amplified."
"Thank you all, I don’t know what I would do without you." I said sincerely.
"Come on," Nikki said pulling me out of the bathroom. "You need some food."
"Wait!" I said while pulling back. "I need to use the restroom."
"Okay," she said and let me go. The others stepped past me to give me some privacy.
I closed the door and turned back to the mirror. I was beautiful. I still couldn’t get over it! I pulled the robe off and looked at the rest of my body. I still didn’t see any other changes so I sat down and relieved myself. After wiping I stood up, washed my hands, put on the hospital robe and exited the restroom.
Nikki was still in the room when I came out. She had a tray of food that looked like it came from the cafeteria, and a very comfortable looking pink robe.
"I’m not getting out of here anytime soon, am I?" I asked her.
"I’m afraid not," she said, "Nina is worried you’ll overdo it again. But don’t worry, I'll keep you company."
"Grreeaatt," I said sarcastically.
She just stuck her tongue out at me and carried the tray over to a table in the corner.
"Here," she said handing me the robe. "This will be better than that hospital gown." I took it from her, pulled off the hospital gown and then wrapped it around me. It was very soft.
"Not hungry?" I asked her as I sat down next to her.
"Hello," she said, "It's 10:30. I ate hours ago while you were sleeping."
"Oh," was all I could say to that.
I wasn’t quite sure how it started, I think I interrupted her story with a catty remark or something. All I know is that one minute we were sitting on my bed sharing stories of growing up, and the next I was doubled over in pain.
Nikki just kept telling me how sorry she was over and over as I tried to recover. I could still see her weapon of choice, an overstuffed pillow, lying next to her on the bed.
"Are you okay?" Nikki finally asked after I seemed to get my breath back. Nina was also there. She must have come running when I screamed.
"Yeah," I eventually said. "I just wasn’t expecting so much pain."
"What happened?" Nina asked.
"I hit her with a pillow," Nikki replied. "It wasn’t even that hard."
"Where does it hurt?" Nina asked me.
"My chest felt like it was on fire," I replied.
"Let’s have a look. Can you take off the robe?"
I did as she asked and stared at my chest. I was ecstatic to see that my nipples were larger, and there appeared to be some puffiness around them.
Nina saw my smile and returned it with one of her own. "This is a big day in every girl's life, Jaz. Congratulations." She gave me a hug which I returned. Nikki did the same, and soon I was crying again.
"Thank you guys so much," I said while wiping away tears. "I’m so happy right now!"
"Well Jaz, I’d also like to take a look down below, if that’s okay."
"Sure," I said and started to take off the panties I was wearing.
"Do you want me to leave?" Nikki asked quickly.
"That’s up to you," I replied. "I don’t mind if you stay."
"Okay," she said with a smile on her face.
I pulled my panties down my legs and then stepped out of them. What I found between my legs made me smile even more.
"Lie on the bed and spread your legs for me please," Nina said.
I climbed onto the bed and spread my legs as best I could. It was a little embarrassing since I was still male down there, but I knew it wouldn’t last.
Between my legs I could still see my penis, but it was smaller than it used to be. Not by much, but enough to be obvious to me. But the thing that really caught my eye was how flat the rest of my crotch was. My scrotum was completely gone, leaving smooth skin all the way between my penis and my anus.
"It looks like you are well on the way," Nina said while examining me. "This is interesting," she continued when she lifted my penis up."
"What is," I asked, trying to see what she was talking about.
At the base of my penis was a hole. I knew enough about female anatomy to know that it was too small and too high up to be the vaginal canal, so I looked closer.
"It looks like urinary function has been rerouted already," Nina said.
"Oh," I said understanding. My new urethra had already formed! It looked wrong being alone like that. "What about my penis? It wasn't like that when I peed earlier," I asked while looking at the tip. It was smooth skin, and there was no sign of the opening. "That looks kinda freaky."
"It would appear that your penis is now nothing more than an oversized clitoris as far as function goes," Nina explained. "You obviously won’t be able to use it to urinate or have sex. I expect it will only be a few hours before this stage is complete."
"I can’t wait!" I said with a huge smile on my face. "Dreams really can come true."
Nina finished her exam and told me to call her if any changes occurred. I put the robe back on and Nikki went to get us some food.
We tried to find something good to watch on TV while we waited, but the only thing that was really on were talk shows or soap operas, and we weren’t really interested in either.
Around 12:45, I felt a small throb coming from my chest. I took the robe off to see and was surprised to find that I had breasts!
I was very excited as I told Nikki, "I think they’re growing!"
They weren’t really much bigger than before, but they had definition now!
"I'll get Nina," Nikki said as she got up and headed out the door.
I looked back down at my breasts. They were probably a AAA cup. Looking closely, I could actually see them growing! It was very slow, but I could see it happening! I didn’t really feel anything different. Every once in a while I felt a small throb like I had originally, but not much more beyond normal.
Nikki came back in with Nina, who wanted to do another checkup.
She felt around my chest and confirmed that they were growing continuously. She then asked me to take my panties off again.
My penis had gotten smaller, but nothing else had changed. It was about 2 inches long now. I had felt it shrinking since this morning, but I hadn’t looked at it in about half an hour.
As she was examining it, I felt a throb like I had felt on my chest, and we could actually see my penis shrink. As we watched, the speed of the shrinking increased, and within five minutes, I no longer had a penis!
It had shrunken into a small nub above where my urethra had formed. I knew that I now had a clitoris, but the thought was staggering to me! I couldn’t really feel the emotions anymore I was so happy.
From an early age I had realized that I should have been born female. When I was old enough to learn the differences between boys and girls I had begun to despise my penis. I didn’t want one between my legs unless it was attached to a lover!
For the first time in my life, I was starting to feel complete! I did not have a vagina yet, but I no longer had a penis, and my breasts were growing!
I gave Nikki and Nina a hug. I was so happy, and I was glad that they were there with me.
I got up and went into the bathroom to look at myself in the full length mirror that was in there. What I saw just made me smile even more. Without a penis between my legs, I looked every inch a girl. My breasts were now about a AA, and there was no denying that they belonged on my body.
After looking myself over for a few minutes, I slipped my robe back on, sans panties, and went back into the room. Nikki was still there, smiling about as big as I was.
"Do you mind if I call my sister?” I asked.
"Not at all," she said. "Do you want me to leave?"
"No," I said. "You don’t have to. It might be nice to have the company anyway."
"Good," she said, "Because I don’t have anything else to do!"
We both laughed at that, and then I gave her another hug. "Thank you, Nikki. I’m glad I’ve got a friend like you."
"I’m glad that I’m your friend too," she said. "So what’s your sister like?"
"She's cool. Other than Jill, Nina, and you, she's the only one who’s really accepted me so far."
"I think Justin would accept you all the way to the altar," she commented with a sly smile.
"I’m not ready for that yet," I replied. "We are NOT going there."
"You’ll have to face him at some point," she said.
"I know. I just can’t believe the turn around he made when I dressed up. Anyway, I need to call my sister before her study period is over."
"Alright,' she said.
I picked the phone up and dialed my sister's cell phone. Lying on the bed, I waited for her to answer.
"Hello?" I heard her ask after a few rings.
"Hi, Cami," I said.
"Hi," she said. "Um, who is this?"
"It's Jaz, your beautiful older sister," I replied. I knew she wouldn’t recognize my new voice.
"Jaz!" she exclaimed. "Wow, you don’t sound anything like you used to!"
"I know, this has been the best week of my life so far!" I said.
"So you really are happy with this?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"Good, because I don’t want to lose you before I even get to meet you."
"You won’t, I promise," I said.
"So how are you? Have you changed all the way?" she asked.
"I’m doing great. Today has been so awesome. I’m still changing, but I’m getting really close," I replied.
"How close?"
"Really close. My breasts are growing, and I no longer have any male parts. I’m just kinda waiting for the female parts to show up."
"So are you like flat down there or something?" she asked confused.
"No, not really," I said. "I, um, I’ve got a clitoris and a urethra down there now, but the rest of the skin is smooth. I don’t have any labia or an actual vagina yet."
"Oh," she said. She sounded disgusted by that.
"Hey, you asked!" I said and started laughing. She joined in as well.
"It’ll be nice to have a sister," she said. "I just wish we could have grown up this way."
"Me too," I said with a sigh.
"Oh, hey," I continued, “I learned about one of my powers today too."
"Seriously? I thought you said they wouldn’t show up until tomorrow."
"That’s what I thought too, but this morning while I was looking at my new face, and my new hair I found out I can change things," I said.
"Like what?" she asked.
"Like my hair style, the color of my hair and nails, and even my skin color to an extent," I explained.
"Wow, that’s pretty cool, that will save tons of time on getting ready. You’re making me jealous."
I heard a bell ring through the phone.
"Sorry, Jaz, I’ve got to go to my next class. Talk to you tonight?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'll call you tonight. Thanks, Cami," I said.
"For what?" she asked.
"For being such a great sister," I replied.
"Oh, Jaz," she said a little teary. "I can’t wait to say the same about you."
"I can’t wait to come home. Hopefully the next few days will go by quickly."
"I hope so," she said. "I’m outside my class now. I'll talk to you tonight. I love you."
"I love you too, Cami," I said. "Good bye."
"Bye," she said before hanging up.
I hung up the phone and slumped back on the bed.
"That was quick," Nikki said.
"Yeah," I replied. "She had to go into class."
"Any more changes?" Nikki asked.
"I don’t know," I said while untying my robe. "I can still feel the throbbing."
My breasts were bigger, about a full A cup now. I could actually feel them bouncing around when I moved.
Down below was still the same though.
"Just bigger boobs," I said while giggling. "This is boring."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Well, this is one of the best days of my life, but I’m stuck here waiting for something to happen."
There was a knock on the door to the room. I guessed something was going to happen. I quickly closed my robe as Nikki walked to the door. She made sure I was decent before opening it.
Justin and Jay were outside, and asked if they could come in.
"Sure, one sec," I said when Nikki looked toward me for an answer. She closed the door and I grabbed my panties and pulled them on. After nodding to her that it was okay, she let them in.
"Both of them gaped at me as they walked in. I knew I was a knockout now, but their undisguised staring was unsettling. I pouted, and they seemed to be drawn back to the real world.
"Wow," Justin said. "You really changed. You’re beautiful."
"Thanks," I said. His comment left me feeling awkward. This is something I did not want to deal with right now.
"Are the changes done?" Jay asked.
"Not yet," I said.
"How far are they?" Justin asked.
"That’s...personal." I responded coldly.
"I’m sorry," he apologized. "I didn’t mean it like that. Hey," he said, trying to deflect my ire. "I heard you have a power already."
"Yeah," I said a little more excitedly. "I can do this!" I changed from my normal blonde to a raven haired beauty. At least I was in my mind.
"Oh my gosh!" Justin exclaimed. This was obviously his first time seeing a power. "That is awesome! Do it again!"
It was easy to impress him I guess. I tried a couple of different looks before eventually changing back to myself. It was different than the other changes, it almost felt like a relief when I changed back, and I realized that it must take some kind of concentration or something to hold the changes.
We were still talking 5 minutes later when I felt a sharp pain between my legs. It made me yelp, and everybody stopped talking. Nikki could see the pain on my face, and she quickly took charge.
"I think you guys need to go now," she said.
"But..." Justin started.
"NOW!" Nikki said louder. "We need to check things out that are for girls’ eyes only. Please leave. You can come back later."
"Come on, Justin," Jay said, pulling him toward the door. "We'll check on you girls later."
"Okay, tell Nina to come in," Nikki said as she closed the door behind them.
Once the door was closed, I pulled off the robe and dropped my panties.
I had a small cleft between my legs now! At the bottom nearest to my anus was a small split between the two sides of skin. I was pretty sure that is what caused the initial sharp pain. As we watched, we could see it slowly extending upward, which accounted for the continuing pain.
I was so excited! I wanted to scream out in joy, but only pain came out instead. Nikki held my hand to help comfort me, and if I hadn’t been in pain, I would have given her a hug.
Nina came in a minute later, I’m sure she heard my pain and concern was in her voice as she spoke.
"Are you okay, Jaz?" she asked as she walked from the door to where I was on the bed.
"Yeah," I said. "I can’t complain about the pain when it’s giving me what I’ve wanted for so long."
She set her clipboard down and started to examine the changes. "Well the cause of the pain is pretty evident," she said after a quick examination. "It looks like you’re forming the labia lips at the same time. My best estimate is that you will have the external genitalia of a female in a few minutes. The only thing left after that would be the actual vagina itself, and the finishing of your breasts."
"I haven’t felt the throbbing on my chest lately. Do you think they are done?" I asked.
"Let’s see," she said. "If you are, then they stopped at a perfect size for your frame. It looks like you are about a B cup now. With your small body, that is probably about average."
"They look perfect, Jaz," Nikki said. "Mine are too small for me."
"They look fine to me," I reassured her.
"Yeah, but I’m only a B cup as well. I think a C cup would look better on my taller body."
"Maybe they will grow today," I said, trying to cheer her up a little.
"I hope so."
"Either way," Nina interrupted, "All we can do now is wait."
The pain was annoying, but manageable. I sat there entranced as I watched my vagina forming. My biggest dream in life was coming true right before my eyes!
My new slit continued its trek up my crotch. When it reached my urethra, the skin around it and my clitoris sunk inward a little, and began to change to look more like the rest of my inner labia. The pain doubled for a brief moment as the split started around both sides of my urethra and worked upward again, until they met just above my clitoris.
It was everything I had ever dreamed it would be! The inner labia lips were not really much larger than the outer ones. When I closed my legs experimentally, the inner labia was completely hidden inside the outer lips. It was exactly how I pictured my vagina whenever I fantasized about having one.
I was crying again! I could only hope that my emotional state would stabilize soon! I gave Nina and Nikki another hug and thanked them both for all the support they were giving me.
"The only thing that could make this day better," I said, "Would be if my mom and my sister were here."
"I'm sorry they couldn’t be here, Jaz," Nikki said. "But you’ll see them soon enough."
"Yeah, I guess so, but right now I need to use the restroom," I said while standing up. I hadn’t gone most of the day, and all of a sudden the pressure was intense.
I walked into the restroom, still naked. When I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t see anything but a beautiful girl. There were no bulges or lack of parts marring the image now. I admired myself in the mirror for a few moments before turning to the toilet. This was the first time in my life that I would be required to sit.
I sat down and spread my legs. I was curious to see how this worked. I was worried about not being able to control it in some way, but as soon as I tried to let it go, it came out naturally.
It certainly felt different than what I had been used to. It was less directional, seemingly spraying everywhere. It was weird to see and feel the stream coming from just above my new vagina, but like everything else that had happened today, it made me happy.
After I was finished, I wiped and stood up. I thought that the act of peeing in this new body would be weird, but it actually felt natural. I wondered if the Procedure made it feel that way.
I washed my hands and walked out of the bathroom and found Nina waiting for me.
"Everything work okay?" she asked.
"Yeah," I replied. "It felt kind of weird at first, but by the time I was done, it felt natural."
She was writing on her clipboard again. "Any trouble starting or stopping the stream?" she asked.
That was kind of an embarrassing question, and I turned red as I replied. "No."
"Sorry, Jaz, these are questions I need to ask."
I sighed.
"Any burning sensation?" she continued.
"No, everything was normal," I said, a little irritated.
"Okay, okay," she said raising her arms in surrender. "Just tell me if something feels wrong, alright?"
"Alright, I promise." I said.
"We're going to need to do a full exam when you're finished changing, including an internal," she said.
"What’s that?" I asked.
"It's one of the worst parts about being a girl," Nikki said.
"It's an important part of a woman's health," Nina said to help keep me from being discouraged. "Basically we just peek inside your vagina to make sure everything is okay."
"That doesn’t sound too bad," I said.
"It's different for every woman. Anyway, I’ve got some things I need to attend to. Just call me if you have any problems, or the changes continue," Nina said.
"Okay," I replied. "See you later."
"Bye, Nina," Nikki said.
"Bye," Nina said while picking up her clipboard and heading out the door.
"Bored again," Nikki stated.
"Yeah," I agreed, and slumped back on the bed.
It was about 2:00 when the next change occurred. We were still sitting there bored when Nikki got a surprised look on her face, and her hands reached for her breasts.
"My boobs are throbbing!" she said excitedly. "Maybe they’re growing!"
She pulled her top off and unhooked her bra. I knew we were both girls now, but the act surprised me. Other than my own and a few glimpses in the locker room, I had never seen breasts in person before.
She seemed unfazed by my startled reaction as she examined her breasts. I couldn’t tell from where I was sitting whether they were growing or not, but she seemed positive that they were.
Nina showed up shortly thereafter. We must have been making enough noise to alert her.
"Everything okay?" she asked while taking in the situation.
"I think my boobs are growing!" Nikki said excitedly.
"Oh," Nina said. She sounded somewhat surprised. "I thought maybe Jaz was finishing up."
"Not yet," I said.
"Well, let me have a look then," Nina said.
She was able to confirm that Nikki's breasts were growing. She was about as happy as I had been today. It was nice to see someone else getting something they wanted out of this deal.
They grew pretty quickly, and about 15 minutes after they started, her breasts stopped growing. Nina pulled out a tape measure, and Nikki was ecstatic when she learned she had grown a full cup size and now sported C cups. I must admit, they did look good on her.
I was beginning to wish this day would just get over with when I felt it. "Uh," I said. It was a pressure at the bottom of my new vulva. It was also pretty easy to understand what was happening.
"Nina," I said. She was finishing up with Nikki so this was a good time, I guess. "It's happening."
"Lie on the bed," she said. "This probably won’t take very long."
She was right, as usual. It took about 20 minutes. The whole time I could feel the pressure growing deeper. It didn’t hurt at all, for which I was grateful.
At one point I decided to stick my finger inside. I’d never been this close to a vagina before, so I had nothing to compare it too. My finger only went in to about the second knuckle before hitting the wall where it was still growing inward, but it was amazing. I have never felt anything quite like the penetration I felt now.
There was a slight pain at the end, but then the feeling stopped.
"Nina," I said with a big smile on my face." I think it's over!"
"Let's check," she said and pulled out an instrument that looked like a diabetes tester.
"What’s that?" I asked.
"This will tell us if you’re finished with the stage," She said. "Hold out your arm and we will know in no time."
I held out my arm as I asked, "Why didn’t you check the other stages like this?"
"We did, you were just asleep when we did it," she explained.
There was a small sharp pain where she had put the tip of the device, but it was a lot less painful than I was expecting. She then removed the device from my arm when a red light lit up.
"Congratulations, Jaz!" she said while giving me a hug. "The red light means you’re done changing. You’re a full girl now!"
I was crying again when Nikki came and joined the hug a second later. "Grats, Jaz," she exclaimed.
Now I really wished my mom and sister were here.
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One simple test. That's all it took to change my life completely. Now, I have to learn how to use my new powers and how to be an agent for The Agency. But most importantly, I need to learn all about my new body. That would take some getting used to.
A Flower's Bloom |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 17 - Exams, Conferences, and Shopping?
Nina ran the test on Nikki as well. It looked like we were both done changing.
Nikki looked a little disappointed. Other than her breast enlargement, she hadn’t changed at all. I thought she was already beautiful though, and she didn’t really need to change. At least everybody she knew would recognize her!
"We had the checkups scheduled for five o’clock again," Nina said, "But we can do them now if you want."
"What time is it?" I asked.
"Its almost three," she replied after looking at her watch.
"Okay," I said.
"It will give us time to do something tonight," Nikki added.
"Alright," Nina said, "I'll contact Stacy and let her know. We'll be ready for you in the exam rooms in about five minutes."
"Who’s Stacy?" I asked.
"She's my doctor," Nikki said. I hadn’t realized that she had a different doctor up until then.
"Oh," I said. Then a thought struck me. "Um, do I get any clothes to wear?" I asked.
"Yes," Nina said. "Nikki, show her how to order some, and we'll have it delivered by the time the exams are done.”
"Okay," Nikki said. "What computer can we use?"
"You can use the one at the nurses’ station. She should be pretty close to yesterday, so the measurements should come up pretty close. We can measure again at the beginning of the exam to make sure. The only thing that’s really changed is her chest, order for a 32B and you should be safe."
"Okay," Nikki said. "What about me?"
Nina looked quizzical for a second before she realized what Nikki was asking. "Oh, you are a 36C now."
All three of us walked out of the room together. Nina headed down the hall and Nikki and I walked over to the computer at the empty nurses’ station.
"Okay, this website allows us to order some clothes. These clothes are provided by the project. We will need to go shopping for our own later, but we can get you an outfit for the day here."
"Okay," I said. I had never shopped for women's clothes before, so I was glad Nikki was here. We ended up ordering a light pink tank top that had a picture of a jasmine flower on it (her idea), a white denim skirt, a pair of sandals, and a beautiful bra and panty set. Nikki had to order another bra and top herself. The top she was wearing was a little too tight now.
"Ready for your first Gyn exam?" Nikki asked as we walked down the hall.
"I doubt it," I said. Apparently that was funny because Nikki burst out laughing.
We reached the exam rooms quickly and were ushered into separate rooms.
Nina started out by taking my measurements. When she read them off to me, I was amazed. I had a great figure. She then proceeded to give me a full physical, minus the dreaded coughing part.
Instead, she had me lie back on the exam bed while she pulled stirrups out of the end near my feet. I may not have been born female, but it was pretty obvious what was coming next.
"Now, Jaz," Nina started. "I’m a woman, so I know how you are going to feel during this part of the exam. I remember I was scared to death the first time. That’s okay, it's a natural response. I just want you to know that all women go through this, and I promise that you will be well taken care of."
That really didn’t do a lot to help my nervousness. "Now," she continued. "I would ask you when your last period was, but I guess that would be a pointless question for the time being."
I hadn't even thought about periods until she mentioned that, but the thought actually gave me a warm glow inside. I had heard many girls talk about how much they hated their periods, but I was looking forward to the confirmation of my fertility it would signal. Nina waited for me to finish my daydream before she continued.
"The first thing I’m going to do is called a pap smear. Basically I rub the tip of this Q-tip," she held up an unnaturally large Q-tip, "against your cervix to collect a cell culture sample."
That didn’t sound so bad in theory, but in practice it was quite different. The speculum was cold when she inserted it, and the feeling of an object inside of me was completely weird. How do women do this?
I just gritted my teeth and blanked out the rest of it. "That wasn’t so bad, just one more thing and we'll be done," she eventually said. She removed the speculum, which was a big relief, but it didn’t last long. She actually inserted a finger or two down there! That was almost worse than the speculum.
The feeling was like nothing I had ever felt before, not even with the speculum, but it didn’t arouse me like I thought it would. Every once in a while she would touch or rub or do something that would send a small feeling of pleasure to my brain, but for the most part I was too worked up to feel anything. I wasn’t quite sure what she was doing, but eventually she seemed satisfied and pulled her fingers out.
"Barring any abnormalities on the pap smear, it appears that you are a healthy young woman. I don’t see anything wrong at all.”
I smiled, but I still wasn’t certain if it was for the good news, or the fact that she seemed to be finished down there.
She helped me remove my feet from the stirrups and then stowed the stirrups in the table.
"Let me see if your clothes are here yet. I'll be right back," she said while walking out the door. I felt exposed so I walked over to the chair where I had left my robe and put it on.
About five minutes later she finally came back. I had started to wonder what was taking so long.
"Sorry," she said after closing the door. She handed me a bag as she spoke. "Here are your clothes. Get dressed and meet us in the conference room. We're going to have the briefing now as well so that you don’t have to come back later tonight."
"Okay," I said while taking the bag from her. "Thanks."
"You’re welcome. See you in a few." She left me alone to get dressed.
The clothes looked even better in person. The white jasmine on the light pink tank top looked spectacular in the way it blended between the picture and the color of the tank top. It may not have been my idea to put it there, but it certainly looked beautiful.
Just like me, I thought with a small chuckle.
I started with the bra and panty set. They were light pink, and had darker pink pattern of flowers that almost looked like they were growing. I pulled the panties on and was amazed at how much better they felt to wear now that I was female down there! I had worn panties after my penis shrunk completely, but for some reason they just seemed to fit better now.
Next I put the bra on. It was a lot different when the breasts were now my own! I had to be more delicate, because they are a little more sensitive than the forms. The bra fit perfectly and it brought a smile to my face when I realized I actually needed one now! My young breasts were still perky and didn’t sag at all, but the extra support from the bra just increased the comfort that much more.
The white denim skirt fell to about 3 inches above my knees. Short, but modest enough that I hoped Mom wouldn’t complain. It hugged my new curves like a second skin, and I loved the way it looked! The tank top was the same way. There was no denying that I had breasts and a small waist. The straps of the tank top didn’t completely cover the straps of my bra, which I felt just added to the allure. I felt pretty sure that I was going to get plenty of male attention in the future.
The strappy sandals that Nikki insisted I get with the outfit had a small heel. I was worried about being able to walk in them, but Nikki stated that I would have to get used to it sooner or later. After putting them on I experimentally took a few steps, and I was surprised at the ease in which I walked in them. Learning to move and act like a girl seemed to be a little too easy for me.
One thing that we didn’t order, but that was included with the clothes, was a purse. It was the same light pink as my top and also sported a picture of a jasmine on it. I picked it up and looked inside. Sure enough, it had some cosmetics inside that I figured I should probably make use of.
I walked over to the mirror above the small sink in the room and looked at myself. I looked beautiful. My hair was a little disheveled but I quickly fixed it. A second later my nails were also a light shade of pink.
I pulled the cosmetics out of my purse and was about to start working on my face when I had a sudden thought: if I could change my nail color, could I do cosmetics as well?
Yes! A quick concentration of what I wanted and I soon had a face made up to look like a young woman out for the afternoon. I tried to see how the power accomplished the look, but apparently it just changed the color of my skin. It wasn’t really cosmetics, it looked more like it was tattooed on, but you could only tell up close.
If nothing else, this power would make me a master of disguise.
After checking myself over one last time, I exited the exam room and headed down the hall.
Nina, both Doctors Young, and two other doctors were waiting. I didn’t see Nikki or Justin yet.
"Wow!" Nina said. "That was quick. Where did you learn to do makeup so fast?"
"I didn’t," I replied. "I can do cosmetics as well, I just thought of how I wanted it to look."
"Interesting," was her only response as she started writing on her clipboard again.
We sat in silence for a few minutes before Nikki showed up. "Wow!" she said. "You look amazing! Did anyone help you with your makeup?"
"No, I’m not actually wearing any," I replied.
"Huh?" she said. It wasn’t really a dignified response.
"My power lets me do makeup too." I explained.
"Oh my gosh, that is so unfair!" she said, sounding a little jealous.
It took Justin a little bit longer to join us. He had been back in his room so he had to be called down for the exam.
"Oh, wow," I said when he walked in. He looked great. He didn’t really look all that different than before, just a lot more toned. It looked like he had been working out for years.
"Wow to you, too," he said with a gleam in his eye that made me feel uncomfortable. "You look fantastic."
"Thanks," I said as he took a seat across the table from me. Thankfully, it wasn’t next to me, but it gave him the ability to stare at me all he wanted. That may be a bad thing.
Jay came in next and took the seat next to him. It looked like he was eyeing Nikki and me, but he didn’t say anything.
"Let's get started," Dr. Young began when we were all seated. "First off, I want to congratulate all off you on successfully completing the first three stages. The physical transformations can be taxing for some people." He was looking at me while he said it.
"But now," he continued, "We get to the fun part. Tomorrow will be a lot like your first day here, minus the medical checkups that we did tonight.
"We'll start tomorrow morning at about 8:00. You will all go through the benchmark tests again. After that, you will have a short lunch break before we head down to the Powers lab, where we will try to determine what you are capable of. Hopefully, Stage 4 will be completed by mid afternoon and we will be able to get results."
"So we will have all of our powers by tomorrow?" Justin asked.
"Not necessarily," the doctor replied. "The majority of the powers should be developed tomorrow, but there is always the potential for new ones. We have no way to tell for sure what you will develop, and when. We've had agents develop powers years after the Procedure, but we don’t have long term data yet. The Procedure has only been used for 5 years."
"This is going to be so cool!" Nikki said.
"Yeah," Justin agreed. I felt the same way, but just nodded my head.
"The procedure should be finished by tomorrow evening. Saturday will be a rest day. You can make use of the facilities at the complex and have a good time. Sunday morning you will all be flown home, and we will see you again after the school year ends. Does anyone have any questions?" Dr. Young asked.
"Is developing the powers dangerous?" I asked. I’d hate to see someone catch on fire or something like that.
"Yes and no," Dr. Young replied. "It has never been a cause for concern as far as you guys go. The body seems to adapt very well to the power. None of the people who underwent the Procedure have been directly injured by it. It is possible, however, to harm others and even yourself indirectly."
"What does that mean?" Justin asked quickly.
"We have had a couple of incidents where a power has harmed other people when it was used for the first time, and one agent managed to burn herself when she lit the rug on fire, but fortunately there were no major injuries," Doctor Young said.
"Does it hurt?" Nikki asked.
"No more than the rest of the Procedure. Some of the powers may be painful to use, or leave you feeling a little drained, but it shouldn’t hurt in the way you are asking. Anything else you would like to know?"
"Why aren’t we heading home on Saturday if the Procedure is finished by then?" I asked. I really wanted to see my family.
"Saturday is more of a buffer day than anything else," Doctor Young said. "The procedure isn’t always finished in four days. Saturday allows us to have that extra day if the Procedure is still active, or it gives us a chance to make sure nothing new develops after it is not."
"What if the Procedure is still active after Saturday?" I asked.
"That hasn’t happened so far," he replied. "Our longest Procedure has been 4 1/2 days. If that happens however, we will probably keep that person an extra day, and send them home on Monday." I hope that didn’t happen to me.
I was certain we all had many other things we wanted to know, but none of us seemed to know how to ask to get the info. We sat in silence for a brief moment before Dr. Young spoke again. "If that’s the case, we will see you in the morning. Please be down here and ready by 8:00 so that we can begin on time. The rest of the evening is free for you to do whatever you would like."
After the doctors had left the conference room, Jay spoke. "What do you guys want to do tonight?"
"Jaz and I are going shopping," Nikki stated quickly. "At least for the time before dinner," she added when both of the guys’ expressions turned grim.
I hadn’t realized that she had planned that, but it sounded like fun. I also had plans though. "I really need to call home sometime tonight."
"Again?" Justin said. He seemed upset I would even suggest doing that.
"Yeah again," I said in a very irritated voice. "My family is really important to me, and this has been one of the biggest days of my life. I think I have the right to call them and talk about it, don’t you? "
He looked a bit chastised, but it appeared that he was really upset at something else. "You promised," he started. "You promised," he repeated again. It looked like he was struggling to say something. "You promised," he started again, but very meekly, "that you would go dancing at the club with me, uh, us!"
Finally the truth came out. He wanted to dance with me. I had promised to go sometime this week, though.
"Well, how about I call right after dinner, and then we can go after that," I said. "That should still be plenty of time."
He seemed to really cheer up when I said that. But I knew he was going to make this hard for me. I knew that I was attractive to boys now (the Procedure seemed to make sure of that), but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to take that step yet. To make matters worse, he was starting to look cute too.
"That sounds like a plan then," Jay stated. "How about we meet up for dinner in the cafeteria at 5:00, and then Jaz can make her call afterward. A1 wants to meet the new A2 so we're going to eat with them."
It wasn’t an order, but it seemed obvious that we didn’t have a choice in the matter. Frankly, I didn’t think it mattered anyway. We needed to eat, and the members of A1 were nice people.
"Sounds good to me," I said. The others agreed as well.
"Great, see you all at 5," he said as he got up and walked out the door.
Justin was still sitting there looking at us when I had a great idea.
"Want to come shopping with us?" I asked innocently. I knew that I had achieved the desired effect when he got a horrified look on his face and he rushed out the door yelling for Jay to wait for him.
Nikki and I burst out laughing. "That was awesome!" Nikki said a few minutes later when we were able to catch our breath. "I thought he was going to have a heart attack."
"It certainly was fun to watch," I agreed.
"Come on," she said while dragging me out the door. "This will be fun."
"You’re saying that like I think otherwise," I replied.
"Ah, good point. You are a girl, after all."
Even though I was looking forward to it, I was actually having more fun than I thought I would. Alpha Complex had a mini mall off the courtyard that contained five or six different stores. I was kind of disappointed when there wasn’t a Victoria's Secret (I always wanted to shop there), but I figured that it could wait until I got to a real mall at home.
The only store that seemed to be of importance to Nikki and me today was American Eagle. It was the only store that catered to people our age.
"Okay," Nikki said when we entered. "We need to hurry, because we've only got about half an hour. You are going to need underwear, four outfits to last through Monday, and a bikini. We can go shopping Monday night for the rest."
"Only if my sister is coming." I told her. "I promised her I’d go shopping with her."
"Oh," she sounded a little deflated. "I guess you probably want to go alone with her."
"You can come too. I’m sure she won’t mind." That seemed to cheer her up again, and she was back to her animated self. Girls, I was learning, are very sensitive, and that included me now.
A salesgirl who looked about my age headed over our way, but stopped when Nikki told her she already knew what she needed.
"We might as well start with the underwear," Nikki said while pulling me toward the intimates. There were so many to choose from I could have been there all day trying to decide. I feared that was going to be the case for everything we bought tonight. We finally ended up with 6 matching bra and panty sets in various colors, all beautiful.
She then pulled me over to the jeans. "Okay," she said. I had a feeling she already had my wardrobe planned out and I wouldn’t have a lot of say in my clothes. "We are going to get you a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, and 2 more skirts." I decided I would just let her go with what she wanted. I could always get what I wanted later.
She handed me a pair of jeans. They were tiny. Even as small as I was, I didn’t know how I was going to fit into them. "Hold these," she said. "They will be perfect on you." She also pulled out a denim mini skirt and a pair of white denim shorts. She loaded them all into my arms and we headed over toward the tops.
The tops were just as beautiful as everything else in the store, but once again I didn’t have a chance to pick anything out.
"You already have everything picked out, don’t you?" I asked after she had piled a number of layering items in my arms and started with a few tops and tanks.
"Yeah," she said. "I hope you don’t mind, we don’t have enough time before dinner to really shop. That’s why I figured we could do some real shopping Monday night when we get back home."
"That’s okay with me. Everything you’ve grabbed has been so beautiful so far."
"Good," she said, "Because it's almost five already. We need to get your bikini and get out of here. Come on, let’s take these to the counter so that she can start ringing it up."
"How am I supposed to pay for all of this?" I asked. I just realized I didn’t have any money on me.
"You aren’t paying for it. It is being billed to the project. They have given each of us a stipend to get a new wardrobe after the changes. I just wish my stipend was as big as yours."
"Oh, okay," I said while placing the clothes down on the sales counter.
"I wish we had more time so that you could try these on before we bought them, but everything else has fit you perfectly so far, so these should too."
"Is this where all the other clothes came from?" I asked.
"Yeah," she replied. "Now come on, we need to get your bikini."
We walked over to the swimwear and Nikki started looking around. "I hope they have one," she said.
"A bikini?" I asked incredulously. How could she miss them? We were surrounded by them!
"A particular one I saw online. It would be perfect for you."
She went through a rack or two before she found it. "Here it is!" she said excitedly while holding up the suit.
"Wow, that does look nice." It was white, but it had a strand of flowers going up both cups of the halter style top. There was also a small bouquet on the front left side of the string bikini bottoms. Full panels all around made it a beautiful swimsuit, but also a modest one. "Can I try it on?" I asked excitedly.
"No," she said sadly. "We don’t have time if we are going to make it to dinner."
I pouted, but that only caused her to laugh. "You really are a girl, you know that?" she said.
"Yeah," I said while giggling.
"I guess I can wear it tomorrow for the tests," I said hopefully.
"You won’t want to wear a bikini for that. The one pieces they gave us will provide better support for the actual testing."
My face must have shown my displeasure, because she laughed again before giving me some hope. "Don’t worry, Jaz, we'll go swimming on Saturday and you can wear it then.
I think I pouted again, which only made her laugh harder.
Chapter 18 - The Flower Blooms
Once we had the bags in hand, we raced to the cafeteria. It was about 5 after when we arrived. We found everyone sitting at a table, but none of them had food.
"Finally," Justin nearly shouted. "I thought I was going to starve."
"Sorry, everyone," Nikki said as we put our bags down and took a seat. "We only had half an hour to get what she needed for the rest of the weekend."
"That's okay," Theresa said as she glared at Justin.
"Can we eat now?" Justin asked. It was obvious he was irritated.
"Yeah," Jay said as he stood up. The other guys got up as well and headed for the line.
"Don’t worry about them," Theresa said. "They’ll forget about it once they get food in their stomachs."
"I’m sorry," I said. "I didn’t mean to make us late. We were so pressed for time I didn’t even try anything on."
"Like I said," Theresa repeated. "Don’t worry about it. Five minutes isn’t going to kill anyone. Come on, let's get some food."
"Is it safe to leave the bags here?" Nikki asked.
"Yeah," Theresa replied. "We usually sit at this table. Nobody will try to take it."
When we got back to the table with our food, the boys were already chowing down. We took a seat and started eating as well. The conversation was light for the most part. It wasn’t until the end of dinner that it started shifting toward "work" related topics.
"Have you guys thought about codenames yet?" Lary asked.
"You can’t come up with a code name without knowing their powers," Rock stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Sure you can," Cary added. "We got the name 'Twins' way before the Procedure finished.
"That’s different," he argued.
"How?" Cary shot back. Rock didn’t seem to have an answer to that one. He shrugged and leaned back into his chair, deflated.
"I want to be called Titan," Justin said.
Everyone kind of looked at him for a bit. He didn’t really look like a titan.
"Why Titan?" I asked.
"Because it's cool," he replied as if that was reason enough.
"Okay," Jay said. "Titan it is, at least for now. You may want to change it when you learn your powers." He turned to Nikki. "What about you?" he asked her.
"I don’t know, I think I'll wait until I know what my powers are." she replied.
"What about you, Jaz?" Theresa asked.
"I think I’m with Nikki, I'll wait for my powers." I replied between bites.
"No you won’t," Nikki said. "You’ve already got a codename, you just don’t know it."
"I do?" I asked warily. I had barely started to get to know Nikki, but I was beginning to learn how her mind worked. If she already had a codename for me, there was a good chance it was going to stick.
"Yeah, between your name..." she said.
"My name?" I asked for clarification, but she didn’t give any.
"And your wardrobe," she continued.
"Which you picked out," I pointed out.
"It's obvious what your codename should be." We all stared at her, because nobody seemed to make any connection.
"Flower," she finally said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
The rest of us gave an "ah" of understanding when we connected the dots, but no one spoke.
Seconds later I realized that I really liked the name, and looking at the others, I could tell it had already stuck.
Chapter 19 - Family Dance
We finished eating and agreed to meet in the upstairs lobby in forty-five minutes. That would give me plenty of time to call home and then get ready to go to the club. It was a casual dress club, so I could just wear what I was wearing now.
The guys headed off toward an arcade to waste the time while the girls headed back toward the rooms. I did learn that A1 stayed in rooms 101-104. Apparently 105-108 were reserved for the two sets of team handlers, and then our rooms were after that. Theresa informed us that there were enough rooms in our hall to hold 2 more teams and their handlers, but we were the only two teams currently stationed at the complex.
Once inside my room I managed to stow the clothes I had bought earlier into my closet and dresser. Then I picked up the phone and stretched out on my couch. I dialed my parents’ number and waited for someone to pick up.
"Hello?" It was Ben. I was hoping Cami would pick up so that I didn’t need to talk to anyone else yet.
"Hi," I said. I figured anonymity would be a good way to handle this. "Is Cami there?"
"Let me check." I heard him say before apparently covering up the headset and yelling for her. I vaguely heard my mom say that she wasn’t here, and then ask who it was. "May I ask who’s calling?" he asked a second later."
"Um," was all I could come up with. I didn’t really want to do this yet, but finally I responded. "This is Jasmine."
I heard him cover the receiver and repeat my name to my mom. What I didn’t expect was the excitement I heard in Mom’s voice when she told him she would take the call upstairs. Cami must have told her my new name.
A short time later I heard another receiver being picked up, and then Mom spoke. "Jasmine?"
"Hi, Mrs. Campbell," I said. I didn’t want Ben to find out about me yet. Calling her “Mom” would be a dead giveaway.
To my mom's credit, she was smart enough to play along. "How are you doing? We haven’t heard from you in a while."
Thankfully Ben finally hung up, letting us speak freely. "I’m doing fine, Mom. The physical changes are done, and I'll be home in a couple of days."
"You sound so different, I can hardly recognize you."
"I AM different, Mom, completely different."
"I know, sweetie. This will take some time to get used to, but it will be nice to have another daughter around."
I smiled, and I’m sure it was evident in my voice when I spoke. "Thanks, Mom, I love you."
"I love you too, honey. Now tell me all about the new you."
I spent nearly half an hour talking to my mom. She seemed to be a lot more accepting this time, which really made me happy.
I told her about everything that had happened to me this week, and we talked about what the future would bring. Eventually I had to hang up to make it to the lobby in time, but not before promising to call again tomorrow. I asked her to tell Cami that I was sorry I missed her, and that I would call her later tonight after the dancing.
After hanging up the phone I had just enough time to use the restroom and check my makeup (which obviously looked fine since it wasn’t applied), before heading out to the lobby.
I was the last one to reach the lobby apparently, because everyone stood up when they saw me coming down the hall.
"Sorry," I apologized as I approached. I didn’t think I was late, but I hadn’t checked the clock in my room, and I wasn’t wearing a watch. As a matter of fact, I didn’t have any accessories on. I was going to have to remedy that.
"It's okay," Jay said. "You aren’t actually late yet." He motioned toward the elevators. "Come on, let’s go."
We got into the elevators and headed down to one of the recreation sections. I had never been in this one before, but everyone else seemed to know where to go.
Inside there was a small lobby with three doors, much like the gymnasium. The middle door appeared to lead to some kind of restaurant named Brick Oven. The left door led to a bar, and the door on the right led to a club named Molten Core. This is the door we headed to.
The inside was not what I expected. There was another small lobby here that led to 2 doors. Apparently one was a club for people age 21 and over, and the other was for those under 21. The lobby was designed to look like the inside of a volcano. The room was lit by lamps along the wall that were pretty convincing in looking like fire. The lighting was bright enough to see clearly but dim enough to give the impression that we were in some sort of cave.
The others headed for the under 21 door, so I followed behind them. Inside was a large room that had a number of tables surrounding a dance floor that looked like molten lava. The floor appeared to be made of some kind of transparent material, and a waterfall on the far side of the room, lit with red lights to give the impression of lava, fell into a small slow moving stream that flowed toward the dance floor. Next to the door was a small bar that I was certain only stocked non-alcoholic drinks. The only thing that did not fit the theme was the temperature. It was very cool in here, for which I was grateful.
"Wow," I yelled over the loud music. "This place is cool."
"It used to be really dull," Jay explained. "Then they hired some guy who completely changed it, and now it's one of the hot spots in the complex."
"I bet."
"Come on," he said to all of us. "Let's get a table."
He led us over to a large table near the waterfall. I could feel a small mist coming from the waterfall when we sat down, which just added to the décor.
"Can I get you girls a drink?" Rock asked while turning to Theresa and Cary. He hadn’t sat down yet.
"Just some water, please," Theresa said.
"I'll have some 7-Up," Cary said.
"And for you two?" Rock said while turning to Nikki and me.
"I, uh," I was caught off guard. I hadn’t really thought of myself as being included in the "girls" category, but that was something I was going to need to get used to. "I'll have some Fresca if they have it," I finally stammered.
"Water for me please," Nikki added her order.
The boys all headed for the bar. I hadn’t noticed, but none of them had sat down.
"You ready for this, Jaz?" Nikki asked me when they were out of earshot.
"Ready for what?" I asked, confused by her question.
"You know he is going to ask you to dance." she explained.
"Oh, that." I didn’t think I was ready, but it was too late now. "I guess so."
"It's not that bad," Theresa tried to calm my nerves. "Dancing with guys can be fun."
"It's not dancing with guys that I’m worried about," I explained. "But I get the feeling he wants to do more than just dance. I’m pretty sure I’m not ready for that yet."
"Just do what you feel is right," Cary added to the conversation. "If you get in over your head, we'll be here to help."
"Thanks," I said as the boys returned with the drinks.
Rock passed out the drinks while the other boys sat down. Thankfully, all of the girls had sat down on one side of the table, and I had managed to sit between Nikki and Cara. Justin looked longingly my way as he sat across from me, but I tried to pretend I didn’t see it.
We talked for a little bit about what life was like at the complex before Jay got up and asked Theresa to dance. I cringed inside because I knew it was only a matter of time before Justin did the same.
I was right. Almost immediately he jumped up. I think he must have just been waiting for someone to break the ice.
"Come on, Jaz," he said while walking around the table quickly. "Let’s dance."
I figured there was no way to get out of this, so I started to stand. Unfortunately, Justin picked that same time to try helping me up by pulling my seat out for me. Instead, all it did was put me off balance, and I fell straight back onto my behind.
"Ow," I said reflexively. It didn’t really hurt. It also didn’t endear me to Justin, either.
"Oh my gosh!" he practically screamed, turning many of the heads of the teenagers in the tables around us. "Are you okay?"
I just sat there. My pride hurt more than anything else, but the least he could do was help me up! Instead he just stood there with a look of horror on his face.
"Help her up, stupid!" Nikki yelled. She wasn’t impressed with his response either.
"Oh, right," Justin said as he reached out and actually lifted me by putting his hands under my armpits as if I was a toddler!
"Oh my gosh!" I heard Nikki say. She sounded like she couldn’t believe he had just done that! Frankly, I felt the same way. A simple hand was all I needed. I could have gotten up on my own, for crying out loud!
To make matters worse, he just held me with my feet in the air for I don’t know how long before he finally realized that he should put me down. It was a good thing my back was to him, because I was becoming very irritated and I'm sure my face was showing it.
When my feet were finally on the ground, I turned to Nikki and asked politely, "Is there a restroom in here?"
"Yeah," she said while glaring at Justin. "Come on."
The two of us walked away from the table, and I still had not even looked at Justin.
"How stupid can he be?" I asked when we were in the restroom. "I mean, jeez!"
"He's definitely got a crush on you, if nothing else." Nikki said. "I’ve never seen him act like that before. He’s usually all calm and collected, but tonight he was as nervous as I’ve ever seen him. Still, he showed almost no common sense!”
Before I could respond to that, Cary and Theresa came through the door.
"Are you okay, Jaz?" Cary asked.
"Yeah, the only thing hurt is my pride. How’s Justin?"
"He was actually crying when we came in. I don’t think he meant to do that." Cary said.
"Yeah, I don’t think he meant to either," I said. "I’ve just never seen him act like that before. I don’t know how to handle this yet. I mean, I haven’t even been a girl for a day! Three days ago, he hated my guts for being girly, and now he's got a crush on me."
"Boys are stupid, Jaz," Nikki said. "You’ll learn that eventually."
That got us all laughing, which lightened the mood considerably.
"Somebody go see if he's composed himself. I don’t want to embarrass him more by walking back when he's vulnerable. Tell him I’m fixing my makeup," I said.
"But you aren’t wearing any," Nikki pointed out.
"He doesn’t know that," I exclaimed.
"Oh," Nikki said as she was walking out the door. "I'll be right back."
The other girls went with her, and I stood alone in the restroom for a few minutes before she finally came back.
"I think he's ready now. Be gentle on him, Jaz, he's taking this hard for some reason."
"Okay," I replied as we walked out of the restroom and back to the table. As we approached the table, it was obvious that he had been crying.
"Ready to dance?" I asked him before he had a chance to say anything.
He looked surprised for a second before he responded. "Yeah," was his excited reply.
I let him take my hand and lead me out onto the dance floor. I was never much of a dancer before. I was so nervous that I was going to make a fool of myself.
It was a fast song. Thank heaven for that! I didn’t think I would have been able to handle a slow dance with him. He started to move with the music. Apparently he knew what he was doing. I tried to follow his lead and surprisingly, I wasn’t doing too badly.
We danced for a couple of songs before we headed back to the table for a breather.
Lary and Cary were the only ones at the table when we returned. Looking back out to the dance floor I noticed that Theresa was dancing with Jay, and Nikki was dancing with Rock.
I thought I was going to be out of breath from all the quick moves, but I was quite surprised to find that I wasn’t even winded. Apparently, the improvements from the Procedure counted for something.
We were still there a couple of hours later. I had danced with all of the members of the two teams, as well as a couple of other guys my age who were wandering around the club. I had managed to miss the slow dances throughout the night, and I could tell that Justin was getting frustrated because of that. It was obvious that the dancing was winding down for us when the DJ started playing another slow song.
"Come on, Jaz," Justin said while gently tugging my hand. "Just one more dance."
I knew he was using it as an excuse to slow dance with me, but he had been a perfect gentleman since he dropped me so I felt it was the least I could do.
"Okay," I said as I stood up and let him lead me to the dance floor. It was obvious we were both nervous, because we were both moving a little awkwardly and not quite sure what to do.
I started to follow his lead and it wasn’t long before we started to move with the music. We still kept our distance from each other, I didn’t lay my head on his chest or anything, but we did start to have a good time.
"I’m sorry about earlier," he said when we had both calmed down a little bit.
"Don’t worry about it," I told him with a smile. It was still a little awkward and that didn’t change until the song ended and we headed back to the table.
Everybody was sitting down this time, talking about what to do for the rest of the evening.
"Do you guys want to go to a movie?" Lary asked. That sounded like fun. "Or swimming?" Ooh, bikini!
"Actually…" Theresa said. Because she was the leader of A1 we all stopped to listen. "I think if we are going to be entertaining them this weekend, I think it would be best if we let them rest tonight before the tests tomorrow." There were a couple of groans. I think most of us wanted to do something else tonight. "I think we should see a movie tomorrow night, because they will be worn out from the testing. And Saturday would be a good day to go swimming."
"That sounds fine to me," Jay said.
"Besides," Theresa added. "I really want to take a bubble bath."
"Oooh," Nikki and I said at the same time, which then turned into laughter.
"Now that sounds like fun," Nikki said.
"Yeah," Justin agreed with a silly smile on his face. I think everyone realized that he wasn’t talking about taking one himself, which just made me blush because he was staring at me.
"For those of you who don’t want to take a bath," Jay said. "You can come to my room and watch the baseball game." That just made me want to take a bath more.
I need a tub like this at home, I thought!
I doubt that I had taken a bubble bath since I was a little kid, and I finally realized I had been missing out. The bath oils and the bubble bath Nikki told me to use before leaving for her own bath were lavender scented, and I thought they smelled great.
I had brought my phone in with me, and after soaking for a while I decided to call my sister.
"Hello?" she answered after I called her cell phone.
"Hi, Cami."
"Hi, Jaz, sorry I missed you earlier."
"No problem, it gave me a chance to talk to Mom for a while."
"So it's over now?" she asked.
"Physically it is. I’m all girl now," I replied.
"That’s awesome! How do you feel?"
"I feel great," I said with a huge smile on my face. "I feel complete for the first time in my life."
"That’s great to hear. I can’t wait for you to get home. I miss you."
"I miss you too. I'll be home on Sunday, but it won’t be soon enough," I said.
"I know what you mean. So what are you up to then, if the changes are over?" she asked.
"We went dancing tonight, which was kind of fun. But right now I’m just relaxing in a nice bubble bath."
"Oooh," she said. She also sounded a little jealous. "I haven’t had a nice bath in a while."
"I haven’t had one in like forever. I didn’t realize what I was missing. And the tub I’ve got in my room is to die for. It's big and the jets are very relaxing."
"Stop it," she said with a slight giggle in her voice. "You are making me jealous."
"So what are you up to tonight?" I asked her.
"I’m out with some friends right now. We're going over to Chad's place for a while. I’m not sure what we are going to do though, probably hang out and watch a movie or something."
"Sounds like fun." I said. "I’m just going to go to bed. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."
"What’s tomorrow?" she asked, but then remembered before I could say anything. "Oh yeah, powers and stuff."
I heard someone talking to her through the phone, but I couldn’t make out the words. "My sister," I heard her reply. I hope whoever she told could be trusted.
I couldn’t make out much more of the conversation, just a couple of things like "I do now," and "You'll have to meet her."
A short time later she addressed me again. "I’ve got to go, Jaz, talk to you tomorrow?"
"Okay," I replied. "Just be careful who you tell about me."
"It's just Jacqueline," she said as if it didn’t matter that she knew. I realized a second later that Cami was right. I knew Jacqueline, and I knew I could trust her.
"Oh, okay," Was how I replied. "I'll call again tomorrow then, good night."
"Night, Jaz," she said before hanging up.
It was another few minutes before I was able to pull myself out of the tub and get ready for bed.
![]() |
One simple test. That's all it took to change my life completely. Now, I have to learn how to use my new powers and how to be an agent for The Agency. But most importantly, I need to learn all about my new body. That would take some getting used to.
A Flower's Bloom |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 20 - A Drop of Dew
I woke up the next morning around 6:30 am. Getting ready as a girl for the first time was different, but I’d been going through the same motions each morning for the last two days. It was starting to feel normal. At least I was able to save some time by skipping makeup.
I got up and walked into the bathroom, pulling off my nightgown in the process. I dumped it and my panties in a small hamper just inside the bathroom door.
I started the shower to warm up while I sat down to relieve myself. It was still a bit odd to pee this way, but I was slowly getting used to it. I wiped myself and jumped in the shower.
I immediately jumped right back out!
I had no idea that my new boobs would be that sensitive, and it scared me half to death when the shower stream hit them for the first time.
I eased myself into the stream this time, and it wasn’t nearly as bad. It wasn’t like the water hurt, but I could just feel it more acutely.
Washing was also a completely new feeling. My skin was more sensitive, and certain new places I didn’t have yesterday were even more so.
I managed to wash my body without too much trouble, but had to stop when I got to "down there." I really hadn’t taken much time to get to know the new me, so I took some time to learn. Some of the feelings I received while exploring were very different from what I was used to, but I was hesitant to really do anything of a sexual nature. In the end, I knew that the feelings my body was capable of would be great, but I kept myself from going there for the time being.
I eventually turned my attention to my hair. I had never even come close to having this much hair in my life, and I loved it. I later realized that I shouldn’t have tried to wash it at this point. It took me way too long to do, and I was scared about being late if it took as long to dry. I finally finished, but then I had to turn to another hair issue. My legs and underarms had a little bit of stubble that I had to remove before I finally shut off the water and grabbed my towel.
I quickly dried off and then took a peek at myself in the mirror. My hair was a sopping mess! I tried everything I could think of to use my power to dry it, but it didn’t seem to work. The styles came out, but the hair was still soaked, making some of them look funny.
I eventually dried it the best I could and then pulled my long locks into a high ponytail. It still managed to reach most of the way down my back.
I wrapped my robe around me and headed back to my room. It wasn’t until I opened my closet that I realized that I didn’t have anything to wear for the testing.
I fretted for a little bit before I realized that Nikki would know what we were supposed to wear. I headed toward the shared door, but a knock from my outside door had me veering toward it.
A quick check through the peephole showed Jill on the other side holding a gym bag.
When she got a look at me after I opened the door, she spoke with amazement.
"Wow, Jaz!" she exclaimed. "They said you were beautiful, but I never imagined this!" She had a big smile on her face as I let her in.
She set the bag down on the couch and then spoke again.
"Sorry I wasn’t around yesterday. Agent Harris and I were called off base for a meeting."
"It's okay," I said with a smile. "I had plenty of people to watch over me."
She smiled too. "Well I’m glad everything worked out okay. How are you feeling?"
"I’m feeling great actually. I’ve never felt better in my life."
"That’s good to hear," she said with a little chuckle. "I just brought by a track suit and swimming suit you can use today. They are yours to keep now that you have stopped changing."
"Okay," I said. I couldn’t argue with free clothes.
"Finish getting ready, and we will all meet out in the lobby." She said while handing me the gym bag. "See you in a few."
After giving me a small hug, she left to let me get changed. I opened the gym bag to find a track suit and a one piece identical to the ones I wore during the first set of tests, but she had also included a white sports bra instead of the tank top.
I picked up the bag and carried it into my bedroom where I placed it on the bed before pulling a pair of cotton panties out of my dresser. I pulled off my robe and slipped the panties on and up my legs. It still amazed me too see just how flat the panties were against my crotch.
I then pulled the sports bra out of the gym bag. It was white, but it was lined around the edges with a small pink band. It also had a small rose over the left breast. With the addition of the pink track pants and jacket, I looked spectacular.
I added a little makeup before putting on my trainers and grabbing an outfit for later. I put the outfit in the gym bag along with the swimsuit and headed for the lobby.
Justin was there waiting with Jill and Agent Harris when I arrived. I sat down on one of the couches and ignored Justin's stares as we waited for Nikki.
When she arrived a few minutes later, it was obvious that we looked like twins again. Her clothes were a perfect match to mine, except purple. The only difference was the lack of a rose on her sports bra.
"Sorry I’m late," she said as she approached.
"It's okay," Jill said. "We do need to get going though, because you three have a long day ahead of you."
She led us over to the elevators, and after a quick breakfast, we were soon on our way to the tests.
Chapter 21 - Not Another Test
The locker room was empty again. Instead of heading toward the guest lockers, Jill led us over to a set of lockers that looked to be twice the size of the other ones.
"These are the Alpha team lockers," she said. "Now that you have finished changing, we can encode them to your fingerprints.
"Nikki," she said while pointing to a locker labeled A2-3. "This is your locker. Please place your thumb here." She indicated a small touch pad next to the locker.
Nikki put her thumb against the small pad, and we heard a beep.
"It's now encoded to your fingerprint. Press your thumb to it again and it will open."
Nikki had the locker open in no time, and Jill had me repeat the procedure on locker A2-4 right next to Nikki's.
"Stow your bags and let's go. We have a lot to do today," Jill said with a gleam in her eye. "Power days are always fun and exciting.”
We quickly stowed our gym bags in the lockers and followed Jill toward the gym door. Once we were on the other side, we found Justin and the doctors waiting for us.
"We'll meet you three after the testing," Jill said. "We can get some lunch and then head over to the Powers Lab."
"Okay, see you then," I said as they headed out of the gym. We then turned toward the doctors.
"Good morning," Dr. Weir said as we approached. "Everyone is here, so let's begin, shall we?" He had an enthusiasm that was not shared by the three of us.
We were led over to the track first again. I really didn’t feel like running today, but I knew I didn’t have a choice.
They started out by wiring us up again. As the technicians were placing the sensors on us, Dr. Weir was explaining what was going to happen today.
"Today will be much like Monday," he said. "There will be a few small differences, but we will still be breaking the tests up into three parts.
"Today's tests have a two-fold purpose, however. Not only will we be testing you physically, but we will also give you a chance to see what you are now capable of. You may be surprised."
He then had us line up on the starting line for the mile. "This run is going to be a little different," he said when we were ready to begin. "I want all of you to run as fast as you can for as long as you can. Don’t let up. We want to see how far you can go. You can stop when you can’t run anymore, or when you complete a mile."
That didn’t sound like a whole lot of fun to me. I had a feeling I was going to hate today.
When he rang the bell, we all took off in a sprint. After the first lap, none of us had slowed down. Justin had a nice lead, and Nikki wasn’t too far in front of me, but it was still obvious I was the slowest.
After the second lap, we were still going as fast as we could, and I didn’t even feel winded. I was truly impressed.
I ended up finishing the mile about 15 seconds behind Nikki, but a 4:03 mile is nothing to complain about. Justin's 3:30 was really impressive though. The fact that we were barely winded was even more amazing to me.
"You still run like a girl," Justin said to me as we walked around to cool down, but the grin on his face showed that it wasn’t a put down like before. His face positively lit up when I grinned back and giggled a little.
He opened his mouth to say something else (which probably would have ruined the good moment) when Dr. Weir spoke up first.
"Not quite what you expected, was it?" Dr. Weir said with a small chuckle. We all just nodded.
"Let's move on to Part 2," he continued. "The sooner we finish here, the sooner we can move on to the fun stuff."
"Fun stuff?" Nikki asked.
"The Powers lab," he explained in an excited tone.
I guess his enthusiasm was contagious this time, because we were all smiling.
Part 2 was pretty uneventful. Learning that I could bench press 300 lbs. was kind of cool though. Watching a 95 lb. teenage girl bench press that much must have looked pretty funny too.
For the most part, it was tedious. They had us lift weights and perform a number of endurance tests. We lifted more and lasted longer on every single one, and we didn’t even feel tired or exhausted.
The last test they had us do was rather interesting though. Not the test itself, but what happened.
They had us on treadmills. I would have thought that a mile would be enough, but I was wrong. They didn’t really explain what they were testing at this point, so I figured they were going to do something different.
They had us going at a jog for the first few minutes. I was jogging along with the speed easily and I let my mind wander.
A thought jumped to the forefront of my mind, and the next thing I knew I had face planted into the treadmill track.
I heard Nikki scream and she was already crouched next to me as I finished rolling off the back of the treadmill.
"Jaz!" she practically shouted while helping me to get up. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I said. The doctors and Justin had joined us, and I felt deeply embarrassed. "For some reason I thought the treadmill had sped up, and tried to compensate, but I guess it hadn’t."
"Had you raised the speed yet, Joan?" Dr Weir asked one of the other doctors.
"Not yet," she replied. "I was just about to when she took her tumble."
"Interesting, we may need to investigate this later this afternoon."
"You think it's a power?" I asked him. The way he was writing on his clipboard made this seem like more than just a tumble.
"Possibly," he said as he continued writing. When he finished writing, he turned back to us. "This test has pretty much been compromised now. It was designed to test your ability to handle the sudden change of speed without prior notice. We'll skip it for now, but we may want to do something similar in the future.”
"For now, go change into your swimsuits and we will finish in the pool."
"Okay," we all agreed as some of the doctors removed the sensors. We then headed for the locker room.
"That looks fantastic on you!"
I agreed. Nikki and I were standing in front of the mirror next to our new lockers. Both of us were wearing the one pieces we had been given, and I had to admit, we both looked amazing.
The suit felt completely different than the one I wore on Monday. It even felt different from the time I wore this exact one on Wednesday. It was probably because it fit correctly now. I no longer was tucked down below, and I had real breasts.
The suit hugged my new curves to perfection. It was almost like it was designed for my new body.
My hair was pulled back in a french braid to keep it out of my eyes as we swam. That was pretty cool to watch happen. I had imagined it and then watched it fall apart immediately. It had taken me a few minutes to be able to control my power to hold the style long enough to allow me to put a band at the bottom to prevent it from coming undone.
"You look fantastic as well," I finally said, but I was still staring at myself.
Nikki just rolled her eyes and grabbed me by the wrist. "Come on, you can stare at yourself later." She then began to pull me toward the gym.
"Alright already," I said while pulling my wrist free of her grasp and grabbing my towel off the bench next to us. "I’m still getting used to this, you know. I can’t help admiring my dreams."
"Yeah, yeah, but your dreams are making us late again."
Justin seemed to like my dreams too. At least it appeared that way since he couldn’t stop staring at me as we walked out of the locker room and toward the pool. Maybe the one piece was a good idea. I couldn’t help but think the stares I would get with my bikini would be ten times worse.
The swimming test was better than I expected. We had to swim some laps and then he had us go under water and hold our breath. Fifteen minutes made me the clear winner over Nikki's twelve and Justin's nine. I couldn't believe that was even possible with the human body!
After the swimming test we made our way back into the locker rooms where we changed back into our track suits.
The lunch crowd was a lot larger today.
We had met our handlers and Jay in front of the locker rooms and headed for the cafeteria. We talked about the tests while we ate, and before long we were headed out of the cafeteria.
Chapter 22 - Flower Power
Rob took the lead and led us to the far end of the courtyard, opposite the elevators. There was another set of elevators here, two on each side of the corridor. They were marked as emergency exits.
The middle of the end wall mirrored the lobby outside the gym. There were men’s and women’s locker rooms on either side of the lobby, and a hallway in the middle that led to some offices and a large door at the end.
We were led down the hallway toward the door. The door looked like it was armored. It was made out of some kind of metal, and was completely smooth. Next to the door was a small pad with a place for someone to place their hand.
We stopped next to the door and Agent Harris turned to speak to us.
"Welcome to the Powers Lab," he said. "This place was designed to help you learn and improve the use of your powers. It is built to withstand a nuclear blast, so the rest of the facility will be untouched if something happens in here.
"Moreover, it is a safe place where you can learn to use your abilities without the worry of collateral damage.
"Now," he said while turning back to the hand pad. "This place requires security clearance that all of you will be given after you return in the summer. Until then, you will need to be accompanied by someone with clearance to use the facilities."
He then placed his hand on the pad. A beep was heard shortly thereafter, and the door started to slide into the wall.
On the other side was a giant room. It appeared to be the same size as the rest of the complex combined!
It was also broken into a number of smaller sections. There appeared to be an urban area with a number of different buildings to the left, a small outdoor looking area on the far side complete with a small lake, and an area to our right that looked like it could be set up any way that someone wanted it.
Dr. Weir and the other doctors from the earlier tests were waiting for us. I also noticed that Nina was there with the two other doctors.
"Excellent," Dr. Weir said as we approached. "Now the fun part begins." He was excited, and we were too.
"The first thing we want to do is a completion test," he continued. "Then we will move on to some basic strategies for learning about your powers. Your physicians will get you started."
Nina walked over to me with a smile on her face. "How are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm doing great," I said while returning her smile.
"Good. I wouldn’t want my number one patient not at her best," she said while giving me a small wink. That just made me blush and giggle a little bit.
"I'll be here the whole time," she continued while pressing the same device she had used yesterday against my arm. "If you feel any discomfort or pain, please tell me."
"Okay," I said.
A second later the green light lit up on the tester. "It looks like your powers are still coming in. Good luck." Nina smiled and then walked over to a table and started working on a laptop.
"Okay," Dr. Weir pulled our attention back to him. "None of you are finished with Stage 4 yet, but we will get started and see if we can start cataloging your powers."
He led us over to a section that was laid out like a shooting range.
"The first thing we are going to try is a "shooting" test. It will allow us to see if you can shoot beams, or projectiles, or somehow affect remote objects." He motioned each of us to stand in one of the lanes. The lane walls only came up to my waist, so it was easy to see what the others were doing.
"What I would like you to do is to concentrate on one of the targets at the far end. Then, I want you to try to push with your arm toward it. Jay, will you demonstrate?"
"Yeah," Jay said as he stepped into a lane next to us.
"Concentrate on the target," he said while demonstrating. He stood with his left shoulder facing the targets and brought his right hand up level to his shoulder. "Then push like this."
He pushed his arm forward, and a streak of ice went flying down the lane, where it knocked one of his targets over. "You may get results like that," he said with a smile.
"SWEET!" Justin yelled with a wide eyed stare on his face. "Let me try!"
He followed Jay's steps with an intense look on his face, but nothing happened. We watched him for about five minutes without any results before Dr. Weir spoke.
"Let's give the girls a chance to try," he said while turning to Nikki. "Give it a try, Nikki."
"Okay," she replied as she lined up to try. She pulled her hand back, and then pushed forward as hard as she could.
"Oww," I screamed as I covered my eyes. It was like staring into the sun.
"I did it!" I heard Nikki scream excitedly. I opened my eyes, but all I could see were splotches of light all throughout my vision. "Are you guys okay?" she asked a second later, concern in her voice.
"Aren’t you blind?" I had to ask. I still couldn’t see much. "That was like looking into the sun."
My eyes started to revert to normal, and I could see the concern on her face as she looked at me.
"No, I feel fine. Did you see me knock the target down?" she asked, excited once again when she saw me recovering.
Blinking, I looked down the lane and noticed one of her targets was down. "Wow!" I said. "First try too." I was impressed.
Looking around, I noticed everyone but our team still seemed dazed and confused. "Is everyone okay?" I asked. It was my turn to be concerned.
"We will be," Dr. Weir said from where he was wobbling somewhat on his feet. "Our eyes aren’t going to recover as quickly as your enhanced eyes. In the meantime, there is a locker near the door that contains some sunglasses. Jaz, can you grab them and bring them over?"
"Sure," I said and headed for the locker. It was easy to find and I was quickly walking back toward the others. The doctors appeared to be doing better as I handed everyone a pair of sunglasses. Putting mine on, I turned to Nikki. "Do it again."
"Okay," she said and turned toward the targets.
"Wait!" Dr Weir interrupted quickly. He obviously didn’t want to relive what had just happened. "That was great work, Nikki. Not many do it on the first try." She was beaming. "This time, don’t push so hard. See if you can control the energy. Less can be just as effective."
"Okay," she said. Her second attempt was pretty cool to watch. When she pushed toward the target, a bright ray of light went flying down range, knocking down another target. This time it wasn’t nearly so bright, and it was impressive to see just how much control she had to be able to hit the target so accurately.
"Great work," Dr. Weir said. He helped her learn how to control her new power for a few minutes. Each time she shot at a target was an impressive site. Eventually she started to tire a little bit from the exertion, and the doctor decided she could use a break.
"Let me try again," Justin quickly said before the Doctor could move on. "I can do it now."
"Let's give Jaz a chance to try first," he said. "Then you can try again."
"Fine," Justin replied. He actually sounded like a petulant little boy.
"Give it a try, Jaz," Dr. Weir said. He looked excited again. It was then that I remembered I was supposed to be some kind of prodigy. Great.
I stepped up to the shooting area and looked down the range. There were three targets in my lane. Each one appeared to be made of wood, and when hit, would fall backward out of sight.
I concentrated on the middle target. Looking right at it, I brought my right hand up to my left shoulder. Concentrate.
Push.
I felt something. I really did. It didn’t knock the target down, or even hit it, but there was something there.
"Nice try, Jaz," I heard Nikki say, but she sounded a little distant. "Try again."
I did.
I still felt something there, but I couldn’t get it to work. It felt stronger the second time, but the target was still standing.
"I can feel it," I said to whomever was listening. "I just can’t seem to get it to work."
"It's okay," Dr. Weir said. "Try again."
After five more tries, I still didn’t have the target down, but I could feel whatever "it" was getting stronger.
Lining up again, I decided to try something different, I closed my eyes. I tried to picture the target in my mind, and I was immediately assaulted by numerous images and feelings in my head.
"Whoa," I said as I felt myself falling. I must have gone into some kind of sensory overload, or something. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the floor.
"You okay, Jaz?" Nina asked from above.
"Yeah," I replied while struggling to stand up. Nina was kind enough to help me. "I wasn’t expecting so much input."
"What happened?" she asked. I noticed everyone else was looking at me, wanting to know the answer to that question.
"I don’t know exactly," I tried to explain. I wasn’t sure how to describe it. "I closed my eyes and tried to visualize the target. Instead, I had this sudden knowledge about everything in the room. It was like I could "feel" everything. I don’t really know how to explain it better."
"Interesting," was all Dr. Weir said as he started writing on a clipboard. "Try again."
Nodding, I turned back to the range and brought my right hand up to my shoulder again. I closed my eyes and tried to visualize the target again. This time, I was ready. The feelings were odd, but it gave me a clear view of the whole area. I could feel everything in the room, like it was all connected to me somehow.
Concentrating on the feeling of the target, I pushed. It wasn’t so much that I shot the target, it was more like I told the target to be hit.
Cheering erupted around me, and I opened my eyes to see the target was gone. I reveled in the moment until Dr. Weir spoke.
"Telekinesis, amazing."
I was able to duplicate the results a number of times before I started to feel a little worn out. It was easier every time, and by the end, I could do it with my eyes open.
Justin wasn’t having the same good fortune, though. He was given another chance after I was done. By the time he gave up, he was very frustrated. I think he really wanted to be able to shoot something.
Dr. Weir led us over to another area that had a large mat. Motioning Jay to get on the mat, he explained our next drill.
"This will test your ability to reach higher places." He pointed up. "Attached to the roof is a flag. Your goal is to get the flag back down. Jay, can you demonstrate?"
"Yeah," Jay replied, and positioned himself in the middle of the mat. He looked up toward the roof and jumped. Propelled upward by a column of ice, he managed to go all the way to the ceiling, about 5 stories up! He grabbed the flag and the ice started to evaporate beneath him. He was quickly back on the mat.
Nikki started clapping and the rest of us joined in. "That was cool," she said.
Once they replaced the flag, Nikki started us off. She climbed up on the mat and looked up at the flag. "I can do this," I heard her say quietly.
"Try a smaller jump first," Dr. Weir instructed her. "First get the technique down, then go for the high jump."
"Oh, okay," Nikki said. I could tell she was relieved a little bit at not having to go all out.
A look of concentration came over her face and then the flash of light that indicated she was using her powers. The light seemed to come from both her hands and her feet. She only went up about ten feet before she fell back down on the mat, but her smile showed her excitement.
"Good job," Dr. Weir told her as she was standing back up. "This time, try to slow your fall as you come back down. You'll need to know how for the higher jumps."
"Okay," she replied. Her second attempt was much like the first, but this time, her hands and feet started to glow as she came down, and she landed softly on her feet.
"That was easy," was all she said as she launched herself higher. After a couple more tries to make sure she knew what she was doing, she was ready for the big jump.
With a little trepidation, she lined up for her jump and with a bright flash she rocketed up. Her aim was dead on. As she reached the roof, it was clear that her jump was nearly perfect. The height was just enough to allow her to grab the flag without slamming her head into the ceiling. I hadn’t even considered that possibility.
As she was slowly descending the fifty or so feet, I had a weird feeling come over me. I could tell she was happy. I could feel it. It was kind of like feeling the target earlier, but a lot more complex.
"She's really happy," I told Dr. Weir.
"I bet," he said with a grin on his face.
"No, I know she is. I can feel it."
"Feel it?" he asked, turning his attention toward me. "Feel it how?"
"I don’t know, it's kind of like how I could feel the target earlier, but different. I can just "feel" her happiness."
"Interesting. That may tie in with the precognitive abilities you displayed during the tests. We may want to try to test those abilities later this evening. These exercises won’t touch on them too much."
"Okay," I said as we watched Nikki land on the mat. She jumped down off the mat where I was waiting to give her a hug.
"Great job," I told her. I was just as happy as she was, probably because I could feel it just about as intensely as she could.
"Okay you two," Dr. Weir broke up the celebration. "We've got a lot to do today. Jaz, why don’t you give it a try."
I felt a spike of anger that nearly floored me with its intensity.
"When do I get a turn to use a power?" Justin said angrily from behind me.
I turned to look at him, and it was obvious that the anger I felt was coming from him. It was also souring my mood.
As I climbed up onto the mat, Dr. Weir tried to placate him. "You will get your chance. We are taking turns."
I blocked out the rest of their conversation and concentrated on the flag above. Just like the target, I could "feel" it up there, which gave me an idea.
"I'm ready," I said to get Dr. Weir's attention away from Justin, who was still arguing.
"Take it easy at first, like Nikki did," he said. He was relieved to get away from Justin. I could feel it. Justin was still seething though.
"It's okay," I said. "I can get it down now." His relief turned to worry, but before he could say anything, I "grabbed" the flag and pulled it toward me. It landed directly in my hand, and I turned to the doctor.
I could feel amusement coming from him. He chuckled before speaking. "Good work, Jaz, I admire your ingenuity. However, the purpose of the exercise is to get you UP there, instead of the flag down here."
"Oh," I said with disappointment. I thought my solution was great.
"Whoa," the doctor said. He looked a little disoriented. "I guess you're disappointed. I think you are projecting it on me. We're going to need to learn how to control that." He stopped for a second to get his bearings. "Like I said, that was great thinking. You should be proud of that. Now, let's move on to getting you up there."
I was surprised to hear I was affecting him. He looked relieved when I tried to stop, so apparently I succeeded.
I then turned my thoughts to how I could get up to the flag. I decided that jumping was about the only option I had. I could probably push myself up enough to do so. Pushing at the ground on the way down should slow me enough to land safely as well.
I decided to try my theory. I closed my eyes and concentrated on myself. I could "feel" me just like I could "feel" the target and the flag.
I jumped, and I gave myself a push as I did.
And then I screamed.
And hit the mat.
Hard.
I just laid there. It hurt at first, but there was no lingering pain, thank heavens. What did I do wrong?
"Jaz, Jaz, answer me!" I finally realized Nikki was over top of me and she was crying.
"Oww," I said. There wasn’t really anything else to say.
"Oh thank heavens!" she said while squeezing me in a hug. "Don’t do that again!"
"Sorry," I replied. "I didn’t mean to. What happened, anyway?"
"You went up like two stories and then fell like a brick!"
"Oh," was all I could come up with.
"What happened, Jaz?" Dr. Weir asked.
"Well," I started while sitting up. "I visualized myself like I did with the target and the flag. It felt exactly the same, so I figured I could just boost my jump a little bit. I pushed harder though, thinking that I would need to because I'm bigger than the target was. I didn’t need to."
"Ah," he said in understanding. "Size matters not."
"I guess not."
"Ready to try again?" the doctor asked.
"Yes," I replied. I stood up and prepared to try again.
This time, I pushed about the same amount, but I expected the higher distance. On the way down, I pushed against the ground, which slowed me to a manageable fall, and I landed lightly on my feet.
Smiling, I repeated the effort a few times to make sure I had the hang of it before attempting the big jump.
"I’m ready," I finally told the doctor.
"Alright, just be careful," he replied.
I took a deep breath to help steady my nerves. I closed my eyes and visualized the flag. Doing so helped me judge how much force I would need.
Finally, I jumped. It was exhilarating to rocket up in the air like that. I watched as the distance between me and the flag narrowed quickly. I had jumped too high. I had to push against the ceiling to slow down my ascent, and I ended up at the perfect height when I was finally able to grab the flag.
I was ecstatic as I fell back toward the mat. I landed softly and jumped off the mat to hand the flag to the doctor, smiling the whole way.
"Here you go," I said as I handed it to him.
"Good work, Jaz," he said with a grin and a small chuckle. "Take a break while Justin gets a try."
"Okay," I said and joined Nikki and Jill on a bench off to the side. Both of them gave me a smile as we turned to see what Justin could do.
Justin was eager to do something. It was obvious in his body language that he was irritated that two girls were outperforming him so far. His male ego was going to get him killed, and not in an accidental way.
"Okay, Justin," the doctor instructed him. "Because we don’t know what your powers are yet, just try to jump. Hopefully something will point us in the right direction."
I felt an anger spike!
"He's pissed off," I whispered to Nikki and Jill. "I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid."
I should have known better, though.
With a murderous gleam in his eye (I knew it was murderous because I could feel it!) he jumped. He didn’t start off easy, either.
I watched awestruck as he went flying upward. He easily grabbed the flag and started to fall. It wasn’t until he was halfway down that he started to scream. I could feel his terror. He hadn’t planned a safe landing and now he didn’t know what to do.
"Jaz, stop him!" I heard someone scream. I immediately closed my eyes and started to visualize the area, but I knew already it was too late. I wasn’t able to stop him, but I was pretty sure I slowed him down. The sheets of ice from Jay helped too, but in the end, it wasn’t enough.
Justin slammed into the mat hard, and a big cloud of dust went flying around him. A big shockwave sent me flying backward. Before I landed, I was hit with another force, but this one wasn’t physical. Whatever it was, it knocked me out before I hit the ground.
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One simple test. That's all it took to change my life completely. Now, I have to learn how to use my new powers and how to be an agent for The Agency. But most importantly, I need to learn all about my new body. That would take some getting used to.
A Flower's Bloom |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 23 - Double the Power, Double the Fun
I woke up in the medical clinic. Again. I still ached all over, but it was a different kind of ache. It wasn’t really physical, but I didn’t know how to explain it.
"How are you feeling?" Nina asked, startling me enough to make me jump. I hadn’t even realized anyone else was there.
"Sorry," she apologized before I could catch my breath and answer her question. "I didn’t mean to startle you."
"It's okay," I was finally able to say. "I didn’t realize anyone else was here."
I looked around, and realized that I wasn’t in one of the hospital rooms like I thought. Instead, I had been lying on one of the examination tables. The two of us were alone.
"What happened?" I asked. The weird pain was starting to go away now, which was a big relief.
"When Justin hit the ground, a small shockwave sent everything around him flying, you included."
"I remember that," I said while interrupting her. "But then something else happened. Something else hit me."
"According to Jill, who is a minor empath by the way, Justin pretty much screamed out his emotions after hitting the ground. Dr. Weir and I believe it overloaded your budding new empathic ability, and knocked you out."
"Oh," I said. "Is he alright?"
"Surprisingly, yes," she said. "Justin has the ability to change the density of his body. He made himself lighter when he jumped, and on his way down, he subconsciously made himself denser. It saved his life, allowing him to take the force of the fall."
"Wow, that’s pretty cool."
"Yeah, but you should see the size of the crater."
"Crater?" I asked.
"It's about 10 feet around. That’s pretty impressive considering he landed on the mat."
I couldn’t believe he could leave a crater that big after landing on the mat! It must have hurt.
Nina continued to check a few readouts before turning back to me.
"Ready to get back to the lab?" she asked.
"Um, yeah, I guess," I answered. "How long was I out?" I asked.
"It's been about an hour," she said while helping me down from the table. "I’m sure Dr. Weir will be happy to get you back in the testing."
"I'm anxious to get back too," I said with a smile as we headed out of the exam room.
The rest of the afternoon was spent working on our powers. Dr. Weir had us do everything from breaking our way through walls to using our powers to hide from others.
Around 4:00, the doctor led us to the urban section of the lab. It was here where the real fun began.
"This is the most dangerous part of the power tests," he said to get our attention. "We are going to simulate a mission into an enemy-occupied building."
That sounded like fun to me, and the others appeared to agree when I could feel their excitement.
"This is not going to be easy," the doctor continued. "Your objective is to find and retrieve a flag hidden somewhere inside the building. The flag is guarded by a number of enemy soldiers. Real soldiers. Harming them is not an option. You may incapacitate them in any way that you would like, but if you send any of them to Medical, the operation will be considered a failure."
Wow, strict rules. Although the rules were probably in place to prevent us from harming the soldiers, more than anything else.
"Also, try to keep the building intact as much as possible. Collateral damage is not something we strive for at the Agency."
"Before we start," Nina interrupted the doctor. "Can we get a reading?"
"Yes," he responded, "Of course."
Nina came over to me as the other doctors approached their charges. She had one of those diabetic testers with her again.
"Just like before," she said, and I stuck my arm out. She took the reading, and it came back red.
"It looks like you are done," she said with a smile. That was a relief. It meant that I could go home on time.
Nikki and Justin were also done with the procedure, and within five minutes, we were ready to begin the last power test.
"Each of you will have three tries at this, if you need it," Dr. Weir told us as he led us over to three tables of equipment. "If you can’t retrieve the flag, we will call it a night.
"This is standard operational gear," he continued while pointing to the equipment. "You can take as much or as little as you would like."
I had a "feeling" that choosing our equipment was another test.
"Justin," the doctor continued, "You get to start us off. You may select your gear from table one. There is a small changing booth over there if you want to put on one of the tactical suits. All of the ammunition is a small electrically charged bullet. Getting hit by one will have the same effect as being hit with a taser."
Justin walked over to the table and looked at the different tactical suits. He chose one and then changed into it in the changing booth. Once he exited the booth, he started to strap himself down with every piece of weaponry on the table. When he was finished, he looked like a walking gun catalog.
"Ready," he finally told the doctor.
"Alright," the doctor replied grimly. "The flag is in the large building there in the center. There are three floors and a basement. You need to find a way to gain entry, find the flag, and get out, preferably without raising the alarm."
"Okay," he said and looked toward the building.
"You can go when you are ready," the doctor told him.
Justin took a deep breath and then started walking toward the building. The doctor walked over to a bank of monitors facing away from us.
"You two wait there," he said pointing to Nikki and me. "You need to be as unaware of what’s inside as he is."
Nikki and I sat on a bench facing the building Justin was walking toward.
When he reached the building, he started to run and plowed right through the side, leaving a large hole in the wall. An alarm started sounding immediately.
"Stupid," Nikki said beside me.
"Yeah," I agreed.
We sat there watching and waiting for about five minutes before the alarm turned off. Two minutes later, Justin was carried out of the building on a stretcher, knocked out or worse. As they approached, another group started to fix the wall Justin had knocked down.
"Your turn, Nikki," the doctor said as he approached us.
I sat and watched as Nikki changed into a Tac suit and chose her equipment. She looked more professional when she was done. She didn’t take any guns with here, but she did have a couple of gadgets that I couldn’t identify.
When she was ready, the doctor told her she could begin.
Nikki quickly made her way down to the building, where she worked her way to a window within her reach. She pulled something out of a pocket, and used it to open the window. She snuck in, closing the window behind her.
I sat around bored for 15 or 20 minutes before Justin sat down next to me.
"Hi," he said in a downcast tone.
"Hi," I replied. "You okay?"
"Yeah, it just wasn’t what I expected."
"What was it like?" I asked. Any information I could get would be helpful.
"I can’t tell you," he said, and then slumped back and looked at the building. I just shrugged and looked myself.
It wasn’t very long after that we saw a flash of light through the second floor windows, and an alarm soon followed. Two minutes later Nikki was brought out on a stretcher of her own. This was going to be really tough.
"Your turn, Jaz," the doctor said to me and pointed to where I could get my equipment.
I walked over to my table to see what I had to work with. It looked like everything was labeled with a name and a short description of what it did and how it worked.
I started with the Tac suits. There were two different suits to choose from. The first one was a standard armored suit. It boasted being able to stop most ammunition. I recognized it as the suit that both Justin and Nikki had selected.
The second was more to my liking. It was called a Chameleon suit. The wearer had the ability to change the color of the suit upon command, via some kind of interface that the suit had. Since I had already decided that stealth was going to be my MO, I picked it up and headed for the changing booth.
Once I had it on and stepped out of the booth, I was amazed to find that I could control it with a thought. It amazed me even more when the doctor tried to explain to me how the controls worked. I could actually control the suit without the interface. I wasn’t quite sure how, but the doctor thought it had something to do with my minor appearance power.
Once I got the hang of the suit, which hugged me like a second skin, I pulled my hair into another french braid and headed back to the equipment table.
I carefully studied the different items, but most seemed to be too bulky for me, or of little tactical value in my mind. But I did notice that there were a few more Chameleon pieces that I felt were tailor-made for me.
I picked up one of the Chameleon guns. It was a small pistol that was perfectly shaped and weighted for my hand. It had an identical twin still lying on the table. I was beginning to think that there was a "right" and "wrong" set of equipment on the table, and I had to decide which was which.
I strapped the small guns and their holster around my waist, and grabbed a few clips that were also coated in the Chameleon material. There were a few other items on the table that were in the Chameleon family, but I left them behind, feeling that my powers could accomplish the same goal.
The only other piece of equipment I picked up was a pair of thin shades. When I put them on, a small Heads Up display appeared, showing me all kinds of information I would not normally have access to. The doctor and I were both surprised to find out that I could manipulate the small computer system without using the small glove that usually acted as the interface.
The doctor finally concluded that I must have some kind of ability that allowed me to tap into computer systems, which also provided a better explanation of my power over the Chameleon suit.
Wearing an all white Chameleon suit, with a pair of white shades that had a pink tint to the lenses (but only on the outside, because I could see normally through them) I told the doctor I was ready.
"Good luck, Jaz," he said before setting me about my mission. "I think you have a good chance at doing this."
I smiled and then started walking toward the building. As I approached, I started to "feel" around me, trying to gather as much information as I could. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I could tell exactly where everyone was in the building. I could tell that the majority of the people were on the first two levels, but there was only a single cluster of three people in a room on the third floor.
I felt that room would be a good place to start, and that a top-down approach would probably be best.
When I reached the building, I jumped, landing lightly on the roof. Just as I hoped, there was a hatch that led to the floor below.
I walked over to the hatch, and reached for the release, but a sudden image of a blaring alarm made me pull my hand back. The hatch was alarmed.
I changed the view on my shades, and was happy to find a view that allowed me to see electrical currents and devices. The alarm itself was a small contact just near the hatch release, on the inside. Somehow, I could tell that the alarm would not go off as long as the two pieces of metal were touching.
This would be easy. I "reached" out and held the two pieces together, mentally unscrewing the piece from the hatch. When it was no longer secured, I opened the hatch and slipped inside, screwing the piece back in place as soon as the hatch was closed. It was then that I realized there was a man patrolling below me, and I was lucky he was out of range when I entered. I would need to be more careful.
I dropped from the ladder that led up to the hatch I came through, landing quietly on the floor below.
There was a camera pointed directly at me. Berating myself for not thinking about it being there, I quickly changed my camouflage to match my surroundings. The hallway was dark, lit only by emergency lights, so I changed my Chameleon equipment to black. My hair followed suit, and I also darkened my skin to as dark of a tan as I could get it.
I quickly jumped into the shadows and hurried down the hallway until I was under the camera. If I could control the Chameleon suit with only a touch, could I access the camera somehow?
Unfortunately, I couldn't reach the camera from where I was standing, I was way too short. There wasn’t anything to stand on either.
What about the wire? The camera had a wire that entered the wall at a socket just above the mounting bracket. If the wire went down the wall, I might be able to get close enough.
I switched my shades to the electronics view. Perfect. The wire ran right down the wall to the floor below.
I placed my hand over the line I could see in my shades. I could feel the connection to the data in the wire, but I couldn’t understand it. It was choppy, like I was only getting pieces of the information.
I stretched out, trying to get the rest of the information. Immediately I had success. I could see exactly what the camera was seeing. I could even see what the other cameras were seeing.
I was starting to learn how to control the different cameras when I had a flash of something hit me. Almost like seeing something happen, I had just enough time to realize it was another precognition vision when the patrolling guard came around the corner looking right at me.
He was surprised, but his hesitation became his undoing. Somehow, I was able to instinctively shut the camera off with my left hand still against the wall. At the same time, I drew my gun from my right holster and shot him before he had even registered what was happening.
Another second later, I had holstered my gun and was "pulling" him toward me, out of the camera's view. Once he was safely where no one watching could see him, I turned the camera back on, hoping no one had seen the short downtime.
The guard was out cold. Doctor Weir had said that the taser rounds would leave a person unconscious for about 45 minutes, way longer than the mission should take. But that also meant I wouldn’t be getting any information from him either.
I turned my attention back to the link with the camera. Nobody appeared to be scrambling about, so I took that as a sign that no one else had been alerted to my presence.
Finding the flag was relatively easy. Whoever was watching through the cameras had labeled one of them "Flag Room." It was being guarded by three people, but they appeared to be more interested in their card game than the flag.
Getting the flag would be tough. It was inside of a clear case, in the middle of their card table. I couldn’t think of a way to get it without taking out all three guards.
The other problem I had was that I did not know where the flag room was. I could access all the data from the cameras, but they appeared to be on a closed system. The computer on the other end was rudimentary, and appeared only to serve as a recording point, and a splitting point where the data was split to be shown on several different monitors. It surprised me to learn that I could figure out all of this from a simple wire.
I was still assuming that the flag room was the one on the third floor. As far as I could "feel," it was still the only room that contained three people.
I continued down the hallway, dancing through the shadows to avoid the cameras as much as possible. It didn’t take me long to reach the room. There was a camera on the wall opposite the door. It was pointed directly at the door which would complicate opening it.
Standing out of sight under the camera (I had checked to make sure), I studied the door, trying to figure out how to get in.
I was relieved to learn that getting in would be easy. The door had a very simple lock, often found on a bedroom door. I could simply open it with my powers.
Taking out the guards was my only concern. If I managed to catch them by surprise, I could probably get them all with the taser shots before they could fire back. It was my only option at this point.
I took a deep breath and drew my guns. I shut down the camera and then I quietly unlocked the door, and pushed it open with my powers.
I was surprised at how slow they were moving. In fact, it seemed like everything was moving slower than normal. It had started the moment I entered the room.
The door swung open, and immediately the guards were reaching for their guns, but they were too slow.
I pointed each of my guns at a different guard. Two quick shots and they were slumping in their chairs. The third one managed to bring his weapon up, but he took my third shot to the chest before he had it trained on me.
With all three guards slumped on the table, I holstered my left gun and approached them. A quick glance over the table showed that I had interrupted a game of Hearts. With a sly smile, I replaced the flag with the queen of spades and quickly left the room.
I retraced my steps, avoiding the cameras as much as possible, and was soon back on the roof.
I changed my Chameleon suit back to what I had now set as the default settings, white with a little bit of pink striping in various places. My shades also had pink lenses again. It looked great with my long blonde hair.
I jumped off the roof and made my way back up to the doctor.
"Nice work, Jaz," he said while taking the flag from me.
I returned his infectious smile.
Chapter 24 - A Debrief Evening
Nikki was able to get the flag on her third try, barely. The guards were shooting at her as she ran from the building.
Justin wasn’t nearly as lucky. It was clear that he wasn’t cut out for stealth work.
The doctor gave us thirty minutes to change, and told us to meet him in the conference room back in Medical.
After we had gathered around the conference table, the doctor started the debriefing.
"Congratulations to all of you," he said. "Each one of you did very well today, and we are pleased with the results."
"Yeah, right," Justin commented sourly.
"We are pleased, Justin. With all three of you."
"Maybe with the girls, but I didn't even get the flag."
The doctor chuckled before responding. "Getting the flag was not the objective of the exercise, Justin. While we did want to see how you used your powers to try to get the flag, we use this exercise as a classification system.
"The real value was to see what strengths you have, and what role you can bring to the group."
The doctor smiled as he looked at me. "Take Jaz for instance. She excelled at this mission because her talents and powers are suited well for stealth operations. After she entered the building, we completely lost track of her until she entered the flag room. Even then, she was in and out so fast that we weren't even sure what had happened until we re-watched the tape from the one camera she thankfully left operational while she was in the room."
Bummer! I thought that I had taken care of all of them.
"Despite her many stealth capabilities," he continued. "She still was able to take out all three guards in under a second before grabbing the flag and heading out."
Under a second? It seemed like so much longer to me! I noticed the doctor was smiling at my shocked expression before turning toward Nikki.
"Nikki," he said. "You appear to be an 'all around' agent. You were able to adapt to situations quickly. The downside comes from how bright your powers are. They certainly don't tend to be stealthy. Good work."
"Justin," he continued as he turned toward him. "You are definitely a man of brute force. You may not have the stealth ability of the girls, but you did have the highest kill count. You almost even made it to the flag room before reinforcements arrived. That can be just as helpful of a talent as being stealthy."
"Hmmpf," was his only reply to the compliment.
The doctor shrugged and continued. "Anyway, like I said, we are pleased with the results. We believe that the three of you have a wide variety of talents and powers that will make your team very flexible and capable."
"So what's next?" Nikki asked.
"Next you finish high school," the doctor replied. All three of us groaned.
"Once you have finished your finals and graduate, we will bring you back here to begin your formal training. Until then, please use your powers wisely. Try not to let others know that they exist. We don't want the knowledge of them becoming public knowledge.
"You are free to do whatever you want here in the complex until Sunday morning's flight home. Jaz, we want to see you again early tomorrow morning to see if we can learn any more about the precog powers you displayed earlier. How about around 7:30?"
"Okay," I replied.
"Well, in that case," the doctor said while standing up. "Congratulations to all of you and welcome to the team."
All the doctors shook our hands, and I even got a hug from Nina.
We met up with the members of A1 in the cafeteria. After eating we decided to take Theresa's advice from last night and see a movie. I was glad it didn't involve anything more than sitting. I was feeling somewhat drained.
The theater was still playing the same two movies, so the rest of the girls and I were happy to finally get a chance to see ‘Love is Real’. The boys just wanted something to do. I guess suffering through the movie was enough as long as we were there.
By the time we got back to our rooms, I was ready to flop into bed, but I wanted to call my sister first.
After getting ready for bed, I grabbed the phone and climbed under the covers. Because it was late, I decided I better call her cell phone instead of waking up my parents at home.
"Hi, Cami," I said when she answered.
"Hi, Jaz," she replied. "How did it go today?"
"It was awesome," I told her. I then continued on to tell her all about the days events and my new powers. We also chatted for a while before I told her I needed to get to sleep.
"So I'll see you on Sunday?" she asked as we were wrapping up our conversation.
"Yeah," I replied. "The doctors said that we will all be headed home Sunday morning."
"I can't wait to finally see you."
"I can't wait to show you," I said with a giggle. "It won't be long now."
"I love you, Jaz," she said.
"I love you too, Cami," I replied. "Good night."
"Good night."
The day’s events were catching up to me, and I was extremely exhausted, but I had a wonderful feeling in my heart as I fell asleep.
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One simple test. That's all it took to change my life completely. Now, I have to learn how to use my new powers and how to be an agent for The Agency. But most importantly, I need to learn all about my new body. That would take some getting used to.
A Flower's Bloom |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 25 - Can You See The Future?
I woke up just before six o'clock. I'd almost forgotten to set my alarm the night before, and as tired as I felt this morning, I didn't think I would have been able to wake up without it.
After dragging myself out of bed, I managed to get through my new morning routine with enough time to grab some breakfast before my meeting with Dr. Weir.
Wearing the white jean shorts and a light pink baby doll tee (what can I say? I'd become a pinkaholic), I slipped into a pair of white strappy sandals that had a small heel and opened my door.
It surprised me when I realized I was nervous. This was the first time that I would be out on my own in public. I'd had Nikki with me every other time.
With a deep breath to help calm my nerves, I headed down the hallway to the lobby. The ride down the elevator was too quick, and I was soon stepping off into the courtyard by myself.
There were a number of people walking around the courtyard. As I made my way toward the cafeteria, many gave me a short nod and a friendly smile. Others wished me a good morning, and I realized that they were treating me like they would anyone else they might meet early on a Saturday morning.
With my confidence boosted, I entered the cafeteria and got my food. I had a slight moment of panic wondering where I should sit to minimize my social interactions (I still wasn't quite ready to face the world alone), when I saw Rock waving me over to his table.
"Good morning," he said as I was sitting down at the otherwise vacant table.
"Morning," I replied with a small smile. "I'm glad there's at least someone here I know. I'm not ready to be out on my own yet, I guess."
He smiled back. "I can imagine it could take some getting used to with all the changes you've gone through recently."
"So what are you doing up so early on a Saturday morning?" I asked around bites of my french toast.
"I'm a morning person, can't stand to sleep in. You?"
"Dr. Weir wants to try to learn more about a possible power I might have displayed yesterday."
"Well," he said while eating his own breakfast. "Dr. Weir is a morning person too. He likes to schedule meetings like this all the time unless you give him a better time."
"I'll have to remember that in the future," I said, mentally thanking him for the tip.
"Wow!" he said. "That's some powerful empathic abilities you have there. Is that what the two of you are working on this morning?"
I'd forgotten about my ability to pass my emotions on to others! "Sorry," I apologized. "I'm still trying to learn to control it, but that's only part of what we'll be working on."
"That's cool," he said showing he was okay with it. "What's the other part?"
"Some sort of precog ability. Almost like a Spidey sense."
He chuckled out loud at that and gave me a friendly smile.
Despite his intimidating size, Rock really was good at making people feel nice and relaxed. By the time we had finished breakfast and I was on my way to Medical, I knew he would be a good friend.
I met Dr. Weir in the Medical lobby, and he escorted me back to a lab room. There wasn't much in the room, just a comfortable looking chair and some machinery along the walls.
"Have a seat, Jaz," he said while motioning to the chair. "This room allows us to perform a number of different tests, and hopefully we can get a better read on your precog powers."
"Okay," I replied.
Once I was seated, he wheeled a small cart over near me, and then moved a small arm from the cart near my head. The end of the arm had a U-shaped extension that he placed around my head, surrounding it on all sides but the front.
"This thing," the doctor started, "among other uses, can be used to test hearing. We are going to use it to play a tone in your ears. I want you to raise your left hand if you hear it in your left ear, and raise your right hand if you hear it in your right ear. Got it?"
"Yeah, sounds easy enough," I replied.
The doctor then started the test. Left, right, right, left. It was easy to hear the tone and raise my hand. But eventually, I realized that I was starting to raise my hand before I heard the tone.
"That's good, Jaz. You're starting to feel it. Act instead of react."
I smiled at that. It was weird to know what was going to happen before it did. It was only a few seconds beforehand, but it could be a life saver at the right time.
The rest of the morning was spent doing much the same. One of the tests that I really enjoyed was when the doctor blindfolded me and had some of the nurses throwing nerf balls at me. It was fun to learn to block and catch them without being able to see them. It was even more fun to throw them back.
The doctor finally felt satisfied that we both understood the power well enough, and he let me go around 11:40.
I was wondering what I should do next. I wanted to find Nikki, but I wasn't sure where I should look. I decided to check the rooms first and started heading for the elevators.
I was surprised when I "felt" her presence as I was walking by the shopping section. I changed course and wandered between the shops until I found her with Theresa and Cary coming out of American Eagle.
"There you are," Nikki said as I approached. "We've been looking for you all morning!"
"I've been with Dr. Weir all morning," I replied.
"That was like four hours ago," she said. "What were you doing for so long?"
"He was running some tests and teaching me how to use some of my powers."
"Well, anyway, we've been looking for you, but gave up and did a little shopping. What are you doing here? Were you going to shop without me?" she said with a mock frown.
I laughed, but responded with the truth. "No, I was looking for you and "felt" you were in here."
"Felt?" she asked quizzically.
"Yeah," I replied. "My empath powers kind of pointed you out. Kind of like your emotions were unique like your voice or something."
"That's so cool," Cary said.
"Yeah," Nikki agreed. "Anyway, now that you're here, you can join us."
"Actually," Theresa interrupted. "If we're going to get some food before we meet up with the boys for swimming, we better go now."
Nikki groaned. I think she wanted to dress me up some more. On the other hand, I'd finally have a chance to try on my bikini.
"When are we going swimming?" I asked excitedly.
"Oh," Nikki said. That look was in her eye again. "We have the best day planned. You're going to love it."
I was a little apprehensive to learn more, but I felt better when I noticed Theresa and Cary were nodding their heads.
"Like what?" I asked, still with some apprehension.
"Well," Nikki started after taking a deep breath. "We're going to start with lunch at Brick Oven, and then we are going to meet the boys for some pool time around 12:30. After that, we have reservations at the spa at 3:00. After being pampered for a couple of hours, we'll catch a bite to eat and then head out for a night on the town."
She was beaming a smile at me, but I had to ask the only question that came to my mind.
"A night on the town?" As far as I knew, we were confined to the complex.
"Well, figuratively speaking," she clarified. "The boys want to go to a movie and then do some more dancing, and end the night at some lounge for a show or something."
"Oh," was my only reply.
"Don't worry, though," she said while reaching into one of the bags she was carrying. "I bought you the perfect dress."
I just rolled my eyes at her. Someday I would get to pick out my own clothes. I had to admit though, she did have good taste. She had bought me my first 'Little Black Dress.'
I couldn't wait to try it on, but Theresa made her put it back in the bag and led the way to the restaurant.
Chapter 26 - All Flowers Need Watering
Lunch with the girls was great. I didn't eat much, just a Caesar's salad and some garlic bread, which was to die for. But the conversation was unlike any conversation I’d ever had before.
This was my first experience with 'girl talk,' and it surprised me. We talked about everything from the latest fashion to even boys!
I surprised myself by how active I was in the conversation, especially the boys part. It was during lunch that I realized I truly was a girl now.
As if I didn't know before.
Once we left the restaurant, we headed back to the rooms to get our bathing suits.
I got my beautiful bikini out of the drawer I had put it in, and placed it in a beach bag Nikki had picked up for me. I added a towel and headed out the door to meet the other girls in the lobby.
Once we were all ready, we headed back down the elevators and toward the Gym.
We found the boys waiting for us in the lobby outside the locker rooms. They looked semi-bored, but perked up when we entered through the glass doors.
"We were beginning to wonder if you four were going to show up," Lary said as we approached.
We just smiled and headed toward our respective locker rooms.
It felt odd to enter the locker room again. This was the fourth time that I had entered, but it had been different every time. The first time I had been a boy pretending to be the girl I would eventually become. I was worried sick even though the locker room had been empty.
The second time, I had looked like a girl, but I wasn't, and we didn't do much but pass through. I hadn't even seen much of it on the way out.
The third time, I belonged there because I was a girl, but the locker room was empty.
Today was different. Since it was a Saturday, the locker room was fairly crowded. There were girls in here who were still in diapers and others who looked like they could be my grandmother. And there were girls and women from all ages in between.
But the best part was that I belonged! Not a single one of them could look at me and think otherwise.
Some of them watched us as we walked past to our lockers. I think some of them realized that Nikki and I were the new members of A2 and were curious about us.
As I reached my locker I noticed two girls around our age who were using the lockers across from us.
"Hi, Theresa," the brunette said as we approached. "Hi, Cary."
"Hi, Billie," Theresa said. Cary waved. "Have you met Nikki and Jasmine yet?"
"Yeah," Billie replied. "We met them here a couple of days ago."
"Are you feeling better, Jaz?" the blonde asked me.
I thought it was a weird question at first, until I recognized them as the girls we were swimming with the other day. They were both there when I passed out.
"Yeah," I replied. "I wasn't quite done with that stage of the procedure and overtaxed my limits."
"Well, you certainly look a lot better now," she said with a wink that made me blush.
"Thanks," I replied to the implied compliment.
"Are you guys working out?" Billie asked.
"We were going to go for a swim," Cary replied while opening her locker.
"Cool," Billie said as she took her bra off, which surprisingly didn't affect me like I thought it would. "Maybe we can join you?"
"It's fine with me," Theresa said. "But the boys will be here too."
"All the better," Suzanne said with a lustful grin that scared me.
Small talk continued as I opened my own locker and began to change. As I stripped off my bra, I started to feel vulnerable and embarrassed, but it passed quickly when the other girls did or said nothing.
I reverently pulled the bikini top out of my bag and started to put it on. I could see a knowing smile on the faces of the other team members, but Billie and Suzanne seemed oblivious to the heaven I was floating around in as I tied the strings behind my back.
I did the same with the bikini bottoms and then pulled my hair back into a ponytail.
"Wow," Nikki said in awe as I closed my locker and turned toward her. "I told you that bikini was designed for you."
That made the others look, and they all agreed, showering me with compliments that made me blush.
I walked over to the full length mirror near our lockers.
They were right, of course. I looked amazing! Once again Nikki had to pull me away from the mirror so that we could actually make it to the pool.
As we were heading out, I had to stop. "I can't go out there," I said.
"Why not?" Nikki asked.
"I don't think I can deal with him like this."
Nikki just rolled her eyes at me. "Girl, deal with it. He isn't going to go away. You have to deal with him, or you'll be running from boys all your life."
"Not all boys," I retorted. "Just him."
She rolled her eyes again and started tugging on my arm again. "Come on!"
I eventually gave in and decided to walk out with dignity.
I really wished I hadn't.
He was there, and he was staring harder than ever. So hard, in fact, that it was making me mad. I could tell the other girls felt the same way.
Once again, Nikki did what I could not. She slapped him.
For a second, I thought he was going to hit her back, but he finally showed some restraint.
"What the heck was that for?" he said staring at someone other than me for once.
"What do you think it was for, you idiot!" Nikki yelled.
"You really need to learn how to treat girls better," Cary snarled as she and the other girls pulled me past him and toward the pool area.
We placed our towels on the lounge chairs near the pool with the slides. I sat down on the chair and looked back toward the locker rooms.
Jay and the other boys were talking to Justin, but it didn't seem to be helping. He was pissed off. It didn't take my empathic abilities to notice that. The other 3 boys "felt" exasperated. Nothing they said seemed to be getting through to him.
Eventually, Justin shrugged them off and started walking toward us. He really wanted to hurt Nikki. I had never felt the kind of malice I felt coming from him in my entire life. I knew this could get ugly really quickly.
We just sat there, watching him approach. The other girls didn't know what was coming. They were hoping he would apologize. I knew better.
When he was about 10 feet away from us, I stopped him. A subtle telekinetic push was all it took. I made sure that I gave no outward sign of what I was doing.
"What the hell?" he screamed when he realized he couldn't get any closer to us. He was too angry to connect the dots, but the other team members seemed to catch on to what I was doing. Jay and Rock even seemed relieved as they approached him from behind.
"Calm down," I heard Jay say. "Making emotional decisions like this can lead to unintended consequences."
"I don't care!" he screamed while glaring at Nikki. "This bitch needs to learn to stay out of what isn't her business."
"My best friend's well being IS my business!" Nikki screamed back. It made me smile to realize that we had become such good friends in less than a week. I just wished I knew why Justin's attitude had flip-flopped again. He had been so nice yesterday.
Justin tried to move toward her again, but I pushed back.
"Arrgh!" he screamed, trying harder. "What the hell is going on!"
Agent Harris came running up to the boys then. He looked a little winded.
"Justin," he said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "How about we go talk about this in my office."
"Hell no!" Justin replied. "Not until I take care of her!"
"Fine," Agent Harris said. I then watched awestruck as Justin's eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he slumped to the ground.
Rock then picked up Justin, and Agent Harris and Rock walked back out of the gym.
"Thanks, Jaz," Jay said once they were out of sight. "I didn't know how we were going to be able to stop him from getting to Nikki before Rob could get here."
"What happened to him?" I asked in response.
It was Theresa who responded. "Agent Harris has the ability to overload the synaptic pathways in the brain. Effectively, it knocks the person out for a short time."
"Oh," I said. "What's going to happen to him now?"
"They'll take him down to Medical and see if there is anything they can do to help him control his mood swings," Jay answered. "He should be fine in a couple of hours."
"Now I see why Jaz was so scared to leave the locker room," Billie said. "I mean, she has a right to be scared of that guy."
"See," I said with a giggle as I turned to Nikki. "I told you I shouldn't have come out."
"Oh whatever," she said with mock seriousness. "You would have eventually. You've got too much exhibitionist in you not to show off that suit."
That just made me laugh, and served to break up the somber mood we had fallen into.
Despite the rough start, we actually had a fun time swimming. Billie and Suzanne's friends showed up a little bit later and added to the fun we had.
Despite being a mix of late teens and early twenties, we laughed and played like little kids. Time flew by, and we eventually all ended up lying on the lounge chairs, exhausted, but feeling rested at the same time.
Chapter 27 - Just Relax
Back in the locker room I took off my bikini and headed for the showers. Nikki and the other girls were right behind.
Part of me felt weird to be showering with girls, but there was a larger part of me that felt it was only natural now. I also wasn't getting aroused at the sight of their bodies either. It was once again apparent to me that I was no longer attracted to girls.
I saw Theresa watching me, but when I didn't show any signs of arousal or undue attention, she seemed to relax and accept me.
"So, what do you guys want to do until our appointment?" Theresa asked after we got back to the lockers.
"Where are you guys going?" Billie asked.
"We have spa appointments this afternoon," Nikki said with a big smile.
"Aww," Billie and Suzanne both said at the same time. "Lucky."
"We could always see if there's more room if you want to come," Theresa said.
"We can't today," Billie said with regret.
"Rain check then," Cary added. "It gives us another excuse to go back."
"Sounds like a plan."
"I need a suitcase," I said, bringing us back to the original topic. "Is there anywhere to get one?"
"Suitcase?" Nikki asked.
"Yeah, for all the new clothes I want to take home."
"I was just going to leave mine here until we came back. The rooms are ours." Nikki replied.
"That works for you," I said. "But I don't have any clothes at home to hold me over until then."
"Good point," she said.
"There is a store that sells luggage in the mall," Cary said. "We could stop by before the appointment."
"Okay," Theresa said.
We finished getting ready, and were on our way.
Thirty minutes later we were standing in the reception area for the spa. I'd managed to get a small suitcase that would suffice, and we had just enough time to drop it in my room before making our way down to the spa.
"Okay, girls," the receptionist said confirming our appointment. "We have you down for the full body massage followed by hair and nails."
Full body massage? That sounded good. Girls were always talking about how nice it is to get their hair and nails done too. It might be fun.
"Wait a second," I said as a thought popped into my head. "Do I even need to get my hair and nails done?"
I changed my hair and nail color a few times to emphasize my point, which caused the receptionist to gasp in astonishment.
"Jaz," Nikki said. "It doesn't matter if you need it or not. It's about the experience. Besides, you can't control anything but the color anyway. It will do you good."
"Trust us," Cary added. "It'll be worth it."
That was how I found myself in another locker room. This time we changed into very comfortable robes before being escorted into a room with five massage beds. We were instructed to remove our robes and lie on one of the tables.
Once we were all lying face down on the tables, with nothing but a small towel covering my posterior, I started to relax a little.
"Don't freak, Jaz. It'll be worth it," I heard from my left, but I couldn't tell which one of them said it.
"What?" I said while raising my head to see who spoke.
Instead I caught sight of the four masseurs who were coming through the door.
"Oh my gosh," I said and buried my head back into the table. "You could have warned me!"
All I could hear was laughter until one of the incredibly toned men spoke. "Hello, ladies, I take it we have a virgin here today?"
I swear I could even hear his sex appeal! I also couldn't stop laughing. But I did yelp when he placed a hand on my back.
"And this must be her."
I looked up and glanced at him. Bad idea! He was smiling down at me with that magnificent head topped with dark brown hair. I quickly buried my head again, but I couldn't stop giggling. All the other girls were giggling too.
"Well," my Greek god spoke. "Just lie there and relax. This will help rejuvenate your body and your mind."
He was right, too. I had never had a massage before, so I couldn't really compare it to anything. But when it ended, I did not want to get up.
Eventually, we managed to drag ourselves to our feet and were able to don our robes. We were then led down the hall to a salon.
The hair and nail work felt almost as good. I only let the stylist trim my hair, because I loved the length too much. After prompting from Nikki, I did let her style it. It felt pointless since I could easily have done the same thing myself with my power, but it did feel rather nice and it looked great when she was done. I ended up letting the nail and makeup artist have free reign also. My powers were not going to be used for tonight’s events.
With still an hour left to get ready, we headed back to our rooms to get dressed.
Chapter 28 - An Evening on the Town
Standing in front of the mirror, I was amazed at how beautiful I looked!
The ‘Little Black Dress’ that Nikki had purchased for me hugged my curves and displayed my new femininity like nothing else I had worn since my change.
The neckline showed a little cleavage, which was also a new experience. But Nikki, thankfully, opted for a less revealing dress than what she was wearing. My dress had spaghetti straps over the shoulders and an asymmetrical skirt that ended below the knee on my right, and just above on the left.
Nikki had also purchased a pair of 3-inch open toed pumps that showed off my red-tipped toes to perfection.
Combined with the smoky eyes and bright red glossy lips the makeup artist had given me, I was hot.
"Come on," Nikki said while pulling my arm again. "Put these on."
She handed me a small box that contained some jewelry. I finally had some accessories!
I put on a couple of small silver bracelets and a small necklace that had a silver rose on it. The matching earrings replaced the studs I had received earlier today when I had my ears pierced at the spa. The holes had already apparently healed. Nina had said that any healing my body would need to do over the weekend would be quick, because the retrovirus was still in my system.
She had to pull me away from the mirror again, but we eventually made it out to the lobby to meet the others.
We were going to treat tonight like an informal date night. I was afraid at first that I would end up being paired with Justin, so I was more than happy to learn that we were being paired with members of the opposite team.
I was paired with Lary, which was a significant improvement. I felt really bad for Cary, though, because she got stuck with Justin.
The others were pretty happy though. Apparently Theresa and Jay had a thing, so they got paired together. Fire and Ice, it must be some “opposites attract” thing. Nikki didn't seem too happy to learn that. I could also tell she was a bit apprehensive about going with Rock, but didn't seem adverse to it.
I could tell that Justin was VERY unhappy as we rode down in the elevator. He was glaring at me with hatred, almost as if he believed this pairing was my fault.
I tried my best to ignore him. At the same time, I tried to apologize mentally to Cary for having to be stuck with him. She must have felt it, because she squeezed my arm reassuringly and gave me a smile to let me know it was not my fault.
Once we stepped off the elevator, Theresa and Jay led us to The Garden. The Garden was in another enclave of the compound and was one of the few places that filtered in natural light for complete lighting.
During the day, its many flowers and trees made it a soothing place to relax. At night, it made a great dining experience with the candlelit tables and soft classical music that was being played. Our waiter led us to a table in a private grove of trees.
It was an amazing dinner. We talked and got to know each other better. I felt that I could call every one of these new teammates a friend.
All except for Justin. He sat there silently for most of the meal. He seemed to be glaring at every single one of us, and he was angry. I could feel his anger radiating from him. But I couldn’t pinpoint why he felt that way.
After dinner, the boys took us to the movie theater. They started showing a new romantic comedy earlier that day that even the boys were able to enjoy.
We ended up back in the Molten Core for a light snack and some more dancing afterward. That's when things really started to get crazy.
Chapter 29 - The Devil Within
We managed to get another table right off the dance floor, and the boys, except Justin, went to get us drinks. The rest of us just sat there in awkward silence as Justin glared at all four of us.
"Are you okay, Justin?" Theresa asked him after a bit.
"No," he replied and then continued glaring.
After another short awkward spell, Theresa asked another question. "What can we do to help?"
"Nothing."
The other boys eventually returned and there was a little normality as we sat and talked for a bit. Everyone was aware that Justin was in a bad mood.
"Would you like to dance, Jaz?" Lary asked me after the conversation died down a little.
Ignoring the spike of anger, or perhaps even hatred I felt coming from Justin, I smiled at Lary. "Sure."
I felt sorry for Cary again as I danced with Lary. Everyone was out on the dance floor except for her and Justin. She smiled when I caught her eye, but I could tell she wasn't having much fun.
After a couple of dances, I convinced Lary to give Cary a chance to have some fun. We headed back to the table.
I sat down as far away from Justin as possible and watched the twins head back out to the dance floor. Dancing with your brother might not be much, but it would be better than sitting with Justin.
I avoided even looking at him as I watched the others dancing. What was wrong with him anyway?
He had actually been normal earlier in the week, but now he seemed insane.
"Want to dance?" he asked.
Did I? "No," I found myself saying before I even realized it.
His anger spiked big time. It freaked me out it was so strong.
"No, Jaz," he said with more calm than I knew he was feeling. He stood up and walked around the table, standing in front of me. "You WILL dance with me."
That blew my mind! What made him think I was going to do what he said?
"No, Justin, I won't. You need to learn how to treat people better if you want them to do something for you."
His anger spiked even higher, and I realized I had gone too far. He freaked me out even more when he grabbed my neck with his right arm, and lifted me up!
I heard gasps all around me as I realized he was dangling me in mid-air by the neck. But I wasn't choking. I had unconsciously "pushed" myself up so that I wasn't hanging. The only problem breathing I had was coming from the crushing force of his hand. That wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. I had managed to push back telekinetically there too, preventing any lasting damage.
"Don't argue with me!" he screamed at me. "You are my girl from now on, and you will do as I say!"
"No, Justin," I calmly stated, delighted at seeing his surprise at my ability to answer him. "Are you mental? I don't belong to you or anybody else."
He squeezed tighter, but it did no good, because my telekinesis was stronger.
"You don't scare me," I continued. "And you can't hurt me. Put me down before you get into too much trouble."
Unfortunately, instead of putting me down like I hoped he would, he raised his left fist and swung at my head. He really had gone insane!
He didn't connect. I had managed to create a wall of force between us, and his hand hit it like it was a brick wall.
Luckily, he didn't get a second chance. As he was shaking his hand in pain, he was broadsided by a bear. Or to be more exact, Rock.
Justin let go of my throat as he fell, preventing me from going with them. Instead, I hung in mid-air for a second before softly dropping to the ground.
It looked like Justin was out cold. Rock was holding him down, just in case, but either way, Justin wasn’t getting up.
"Are you okay, Jaz?" Nikki asked while wrapping me in a hug. "I was so scared when he was holding you like that!"
"I'm fine," I said, rubbing my neck but feeling no pain. "But something is definitely wrong with Justin."
"We're going to take him down to Medical again. You guys wait here," Jay said. He and Rock then left the club carrying Justin between them.
Nina and a couple of security guys showed up a short time later. She was concerned about my neck, but finally decided I was okay.
The security guys wanted to know if I wanted to press charges. I hadn't really thought about that, but declined to do so.
He hadn't scared me or caused me any lasting physical harm. I just wanted to see him get the help he obviously needed.
We eventually managed to calm down. When Jay and Rock returned, they told us that Justin would be all right. Dr. Weir was running some tests, and would keep him overnight for observation.
Not wanting to end the night on such a low note, we decided to continue with the planned evening.
We danced for a little while longer before Jay showed us the way to the Bolero's Lounge.
The Bolero's Lounge was well furnished and gave a trendy feel to the Latin music that was playing.
The Dueling Piano show with Steve and Rick started shortly after we found seats, and it was a blast.
The two musicians knew the songs and lyrics to hundreds of rock songs, and rocked us out with the pianos well into the morning.
By the time we made it back to the rooms we were all beat, but we felt a lot better after the earlier incident.
I called my sister before getting ready for bed. She didn't answer, and was probably sleeping, but I left her a message about when I would be home.
After that I quickly got ready for bed, anticipating the trip home.
Chapter 30 - Home Blossoms
The next morning was hectic. We were supposed to have a short meeting at nine before we left at nine-thirty.
I managed to get up early enough to take a nice shower, get ready for the day, and even pack my suitcase before heading down to breakfast.
Justin wasn't at breakfast, but everyone else was. Apparently the doctors were running some more tests this morning. It was beginning to look like he wouldn't be heading home with us this morning.
It was a little somber as we ate, and the mood continued into the conference room.
Both teams, including Justin, and our handlers were there. Jill smiled at me as I sat down, and I smiled back.
"Well," Agent Harris started. "Congratulations for getting this far. It looks like A2 is going to be a great team. The powers and abilities that you have received complement each other and will lend to great teamwork in the future.
"Now," he continued. "You have a little time to get used to the changes as you finish the school year."
"What about Justin?" Nikki asked. Justin just sneered back at her.
"The procedure changed his brain chemistry slightly, but the doctors have him on some medication that will help. He'll be able to finish out the school year as well."
Jill then gave the three of us a small portfolio. "These are things we would like you to do while you are back at home. They are exercises to help you develop your body, mind, and powers. In general, try not to show anyone your powers.
"You've all changed, and that will be hard to hide, but the less people know, the better for you and for your families. Understand?"
We all nodded.
"Good. Are you ready to go home?"
We all enthusiastically said yes.
"All right then," Agent Harris said. "Grab your things, and let's head up to the plane."
A quick stop by my room for my luggage and I was outside next to the plane. Everyone was there, and I was surprised at how emotional I was.
I'd known these people for less than a week, but it already felt like I was leaving family, especially the girls!
After many tearful goodbye hugs, Nikki and I boarded the plane to join Justin who was already on board.
"About time," he said impatiently. He had just said goodbye and boarded the plane.
Once Jill and Agent Harris were on board, we were on our way.
We were flying over a small city when Justin surprised us.
"You are all going to pay for denying me what is mine!" he screamed and grabbed me over my seat in headlock.
I screamed, and had the weirdest sensation that I was sinking through the seat. I screamed harder when I realized that I was sinking!
Justin was pulling me out of the bottom of the plane!
"Justin, stop!" someone yelled from the front of the plane as I finally had the sense of mind to fight back.
I 'pushed' against Justin as hard as I could, feeling myself break free from his grip and go flying hard into the ceiling of the plane.
I landed with a thud on the floor, but immediately looked for Justin. Everyone else was staring out the windows.
Looking out myself, I caught a glimpse of Justin slowly falling toward the ground.
"It looks like he's gained control of his powers," Agent Harris said as Jill and Nikki turned toward me.
"Are you okay?" Nikki asked.
"Yeah," I replied. "What happened?"
Agent Harris expressed all of our fears when he spoke. "I think Justin has gone rogue."
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I finally get to go back home. But being back home brings its own set of problems: the end of the school year, facing my family, and worry over what Justin will do next. I can only hope everything will turn out okay...
A Flower's Bloom |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
This story has been a long time in the making. I apologize to everyone that has been patiently waiting. This story started out as a semi-autobiographical story. Over the years that fact has made this story harder to write. There will be more after this, but I'm not sure how long it will take to write. I'm afraid that Sarah Carerra takes up most of my time, but I'll try to write more of this for those who want it.
I have broken this piece of the story into two parts. Together these two parts make up the first half of Book 2. I have the second half planned out, but I haven't started writing it yet. I promise to finish this at some point.
Enjoy,
Megan
Prologue
We were flying over a small city when Justin surprised us.
"You are all going to pay for denying me what is mine!" he screamed and grabbed me over my seat in a headlock.
I screamed, and had the weirdest sensation that I was sinking through the seat. I screamed harder when I realized that I was!
Justin was pulling me out of the bottom of the plane!
"Justin stop!" someone yelled from the front of the plane as I finally had the sense of mind to fight back.
I 'pushed' against Justin as hard as I could, feeling myself break free from my grip and go flying hard into the ceiling of the plane.
I landed with a thud on the floor, but immediately looked for Justin. Everyone else was staring out the windows.
Looking out myself, I caught a glimpse of Justin slowly falling toward the ground.
"It looks like he's gained control of his powers," Agent Harris said as Jill and Nikki turned toward me.
"Are you okay?" Nikki asked.
"Yeah," I replied. "What happened?"
Agent Harris expressed all of our fears when he spoke. "I think Justin has gone rogue."
Chapter 1 - Homecoming
"What do we do now?" Nikki asked when Justin was out of sight, as we sat in our seats again. Agent Harris was already on his cell phone, and Jill was looking at us, making sure that we were okay.
"We take you home," she said with a slightly somber tone. "A team will be dispatched to look for Justin, but there isn't anything we can do for the time being."
"What if he can't be found?" I asked.
"I don't know," she responded. "We've never had anything like this happen before. I'm sure that the Agency will put every effort into bringing him in to help him with the issues he is having, but it could be a while until he's better."
"What kind of issues?" Nikki asked warily; they hadn't given us much information.
"Like we mentioned in the meeting this morning, the Procedure changed his brain chemistry slightly, and the doctors gave him some medication to help him cope with the changes. However, it looks like the changes may be greater than they thought. I don't really know much more than that."
She grimaced at us before continuing.
"In the short term, you'll probably be getting a new team member to replace him." I was surprised at the relief I felt at hearing him say that, and I heard Nikki sigh in relief as well.
"Is there anything we can do?" Nikki asked.
"Not right now," she replied. "In your portfolio is a number that you can use to contact me while you are at home. Rob and I will be staying in an apartment nearby if there are any problems. If you see Justin, contact us immediately. Don't try to confront him or stop him, because he isn't thinking rationally right now and we don't fully know what he is capable of doing."
Nikki and I both looked at each other nervously, but there wasn't anything else we could do.
We landed shortly afterward, but the exuberance we expected to feel on returning home was stifled by the events on the plane. I think Nikki and I were still excited, but the events with Justin were still weighing heavily on our minds as we disembarked from the plane and climbed into the waiting car.
Agent Harris sat in the front seat with the driver and Jill joined us in the back. They of course made me sit in the middle because I was the tiny one. Grrr - I was not a happy camper at that moment.
"Just take it one day at a time," Jill said as we arrived at Nikki's house. "Remember, we're staying here in town and our numbers are in your portfolios. Call us if you need anything."
"I will," Nikki said while accepting a hug from Jill. She then turned to me and gave me a hug. "Call me later and tell me how it goes, okay?"
"Ok," I replied, hugging her back. "See you at school tomorrow."
"Bye," she waved as she got out of the car and headed for her front door.
Once she was inside the house and the car was moving again, I looked at Jill. "How is school going to work? I can't really tell them the truth about why I'm a girl now."
"I know," she replied. "We've enrolled you as a new student. It's uncommon to start a new school with only two weeks left, but it'll work out. Your schedule will still be the same. I'll meet you at the school tomorrow morning to make sure everything is sorted correctly."
"Ok," I said as I felt my trepidation rising. We were pulling up to my house.
"Do you want me to wait?" Jill asked.
I thought for a few seconds. "No," I finally answered. "My family is probably still at church. I'll call you if I need anything."
"Okay, Jaz," she said while giving me a hug. "I'll see you in the morning then."
I got out of the car and retrieved my suitcase from the trunk. I waved at Jill and Agent Harris as I walked up the driveway to our front door. Sure enough, the door was locked, and after opening it with my key I confirmed that nobody was home.
"Good," I said when I closed the front door behind me. I would have time to get prepared to meet them.
My parents’ house had two bedrooms on the main floor, plus the master bedroom, and two bedrooms in the basement. My room was downstairs because I was the oldest, but as I descended the stairs I began to wonder if I should switch with my youngest brother and move back up by my sister.
I walked down the hall in our basement and opened the door to my room. It wasn't “home” anymore. The walls were white and had a couple of Star Wars posters on them, but the room was otherwise undecorated. Nevertheless, this room did not fit me anymore. It was too masculine. There were little things that stood out, things that made me feel less at home since my change, and I realized that I would be throwing away the majority of the things in this room. Oddly enough, that thought didn't really trouble me.
Dropping my suitcase on the floor, I laid down on my bed, happy to be home. I looked at the alarm clock I kept on the stand next to the bed. My family should be home from church any minute.
I still wasn't sure how I was going to handle this. I knew my mom and my sister were okay with the changes I had gone through, but I didn't know how my brothers would take it. That thought also helped spur my decision to switch rooms with my little brother. Both rooms were the same size, and he had wanted to move down here for a long time. If nothing else, it would keep me further from them and I'd be sharing a bathroom with my sister.
I heard the door to the garage open upstairs.
"Jaz?" my sister yelled through the house. I then heard her footsteps heading away from the stairs. It was time to go up there and meet them.
Stepping out of my room, I literally walked right into my brother Adam. He was coming down to his room to change out of his church clothes, but he was left with a puzzled look on his face when I quickly muttered "Hi" and headed for the stairs.
"Jaz?" I heard my sister yell again as I was ascending.
"Who's Jaz?" my brother Ben asked from another room.
"Nobody," my sister said, entering the kitchen. Her excitement appeared to have died down when I didn't respond to her.
I stood waiting at the top of the stairs as she entered. Turning from where she had been talking to my brother, she gasped.
"Jaz?!" she practically screamed the question, already knowing the answer.
"Hi, Cami," I said with a broad smile I genuinely felt.
"Jaz!" she screamed again, not a question this time. She ran the length of the kitchen and threw her arms around me in a hug. I'd never felt small around my sister before, but I noticed that she was a good five inches taller than me. "You're so beautiful! And small! Welcome Home!"
I returned her hug, happy to be home with the people I loved. My family started to gather in the kitchen. Adam had apparently followed me up the stairs, no doubt wondering who I was. Ben, my youngest brother, walked into the kitchen after my sister, and I saw my mom and dad joining us behind him.
Mom smiled at me as she came to replace Cami in a hug. Dad had an astonished look on his face, and I reckoned my mom must have just told him what had happened to me. My brothers stood there looking confused.
"Who are you?" Adam asked from behind me. His accusatory tone made it seem like I shouldn't be here.
"Um," was all I could say before I was interrupted by Cami.
"This is Jasmine," she said directly to Adam. "Your new sister."
"What?" he said incredulously. He stared at me for a second before turning back to Cami for a longer explanation.
Cami looked at me, which caused everyone to also look at me.
"Um," I started again. I had been dreading this moment, and now that it had arrived, I still wasn't sure how to explain what had happened to me. "I became a bit more than just a special agent last week."
"Brett?" Ben asked a second later. He didn't seem to believe the assumption he had just voiced.
"Yeah, it's me," I said while dropping my gaze to the floor. "Except my name is Jasmine now, like Cami said."
It was quiet for a moment or two. Nobody seemed to be able to voice anything. Dad came over and wrapped me in another hug.
"I'm just glad you're safe," he said, generating a smile from me. I looked into his eyes as we separated, and I knew that he still loved me just as much now as he had before I had left over a week ago. He returned my smile while stepping back again.
"You let them do this to you?" Adam asked. His voice was raised, and he was turning slightly red or green depending on the angle. He looked sick, disgusted, and angry all at once, and I felt my worst fears about this moment returning. I looked at Ben; he seemed to be slightly disgusted, but at least he didn't look angry.
"Yes, I did," I said while turning back to Adam. "And I'm happy I did too."
"No guy in his right mind would ever let someone do that to them!" he yelled.
"You’re right. Maybe I'm not a guy then," I responded.
He sneered at me for a second before turning around and heading back downstairs. "Whatever."
I could still feel his hostility as he headed for his bedroom to change. I had feared that violence would occur during this conversation, so I was really happy that it hadn't come to that. I would have to watch myself around him, though.
I turned back toward Ben, who hadn't said a thing since he had found out I used to be his brother. "Are you okay?" I asked him. I felt his confusion, and he did feel disgusted at the thought of me being a girl, but at least he didn't feel hostile.
"I guess," he said.
"Can I have a hug?" I asked. I didn't want to push him too far, but I still loved him and was happy to see him again after a week away.
I guess," he repeated, but made no attempt to move. Instead, I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. Even though he was the youngest, he was already taller than Cami and I had to stand on my tippy-toes to properly hug him.
"It's going to be alright," I said while giving him a hug. I augmented it by sending my love toward him, trying to let him know that I was still “family” and I still loved him. When I let go of him and stepped back he had a smile on his face.
"Besides," I said with a sly grin. "Now you can have that basement room you always wanted."
He lit up like a Christmas tree. "Really?"
"Really."
This time it was his turn to hug me. Stepping forward he wrapped his arms around me and actually lifted me off my feet.
"Awesome!" he said in an excited voice. "Wow, you're so small!"
"Yeah," I said with a small giggle as he set me back down on my feet. "I noticed."
"Let's start moving," he said immediately, heading for the stairs.
"After lunch," Mom quickly interrupted his plans, earning a groan from him.
I just smiled. I was happy to be home.
Chapter 2 - Family Times
After everyone had changed out of their church clothes, we met back in the dining room, where I had been waiting for them. Mom made grilled cheese sandwiches while we sat around the dining table. Adam, glaring at me as he passed, only came upstairs long enough to get his food before departing back to his dungeon.
Everyone wanted to know how my week had been, and I filled them in on as many details as I could. I left out most of the changes that I had gone through, because I didn't really want to talk about changing sex in front of my dad and my brother. The Agency had apparently come by the house while I was gone and had my family sign confidentiality agreements, which allowed me to even talk about my powers with them.
"Show us," Cami said after I mentioned some of what I could do.
I thought I'd start with the most visually appealing power I had, and I sat there and watched their jaws drop as my hair went from the beautiful blonde I loved to a raven black. "I can do the same with my finger nails too," I said while holding up my hand. I made the nails switch colors quickly and it was like a small light show in, well, the palm of my hand so to speak.
"Can somebody pass the chips?" I asked casually while I brought my hand back down. Before anybody could reach for them, however, I lifted the bag up with my mind and smiled as they watched it float through the air toward me.
"That is so cool!" Ben exclaimed a moment later, grinning like a mad man.
The rest of lunch really made me realize how much I had missed my family. I was starting to feel nervous about what would happen after I graduated. How often would I get to see them? We had not discussed this topic while I had been at the Alpha Complex.
"I love you guys," I found myself saying as we got up to help Mom wash the dishes. I felt myself beaming as they returned the sentiment, and the feelings I got from them amplified my good mood.
I stood in my old room; we were in the middle of moving me out and my brother in. I was trying to decide what I wanted to keep. I left my clothes in the closet; my brothers could fight over what they wanted and could dispose of the rest however they felt like. My computer was definitely going upstairs, and the bed. Definitely the bed. I wasn't going to switch my queen for my brother’s twin. Being the oldest still had its perks!
Other than those two items, which would be identical in either a boy’s or a girl’s room, I couldn’t think of anything else that I wanted to take. I'd packed up a small box of mementos I wanted to keep, but most of them were still from another life and I doubted that I would be putting them on display in my new room.
"Just the computer and the bed, I guess," I told my brother. "You can decide what to do with the rest."
"That's it?" he asked, not believing that I didn't want to take more.
"Yeah," I said confidently. "Nothing else really belongs to me now. It's from a different life."
He just shook his head and started boxing up stuff he didn't want in the room. "Give me a sec and we can move the bed then."
"Don’t worry about it," I said while reaching out with my mind again. "I can get it."
We'd removed the sheets and pillows already. My brother’s jaw dropped open and he nearly swore when the mattress started lifting itself off the box springs and turned on end to move out of the doorway. I followed behind it as it moved through our basement to the stairs, ignoring Adam's startled gaze as I passed by the couch he was watching TV on.
"What the..." I heard him exclaim. I wasn't really in the mood for talking to him, and left him staring behind me as the mattress turned the corner and headed up the stairs in front of me. I repeated the same steps with my box springs and computer, and then brought Ben's bed down for him. Adam just stared the whole time, but didn't say anything else.
I helped Ben box up or bag all of the things I didn't want any more to allow us to donate them to a local thrift store. My sister came down to help us, and we quickly got the room cleared out.
"I can't believe you don't want anything anymore," she said. I doubted she would even be helping us if she didn't want to spend time with me.
"I know, but like I told Ben, this is all from another life. It isn't ME anymore."
We then helped Ben move everything from upstairs down to his new room. Just before dinner Cami and I were laying on my newly made bed, in a barren room, getting to know each other properly for the first time in my life.
"I definitely need to get some new furniture," I said while looking at the shabby dresser that Ben had been using. "But at least the closet up here is bigger."
"Yeah, but you definitely need more clothes to fill it with," Cami mentioned, pointing to the open closet. There were quite a few outfits in the closet that I had picked up over the course of last week, but there was still much more empty space in the closet than there was filled space.
"We'll take care of that tomorrow," I reminded her, and she smiled in return. "I told Nikki she could come with us, if that's okay."
"Yeah," she said, but sounded down about it.
"I'm sorry, but she seems to want to go shopping with me nearly as much as you do. She's already kind of become my best friend, and she's the only girl my age I really know at the complex."
"It's okay," she said, sounding more upbeat. "I'd like to meet her anyway. You said such nice things about her on the phone."
"Dinner's ready!" I heard my mom yell from the kitchen.
"I'm glad you're here, Jaz," Cami said when we got off the bed.
"I am too," I replied, happy to be back with my family. I gave her a hug and then we walked together to the kitchen.
The rest of the night went by quickly. Mom was an excellent cook, and after we had all been filled with some great home cooking, we helped clear the dining table and spent the rest of the evening playing games together. I couldn't remember the last time we had done this, but we were having a blast.
I was glad that Ben seemed to be okay with my change. I knew that he was still queasy about it, and probably preferred that it had never happened, but he was kind to me and didn't offer any degrading remarks about the new me.
Adam, on the other hand, still refused to join us and stayed downstairs watching TV all night, something that was starting to become a regular occurrence with him. He'd been spending more and more time down there alone even before I had left for the Complex.
Around 10:00 that evening, I found myself back in my room looking at the outfits in my closet.
"Trying to figure out what to wear?" I heard Cami ask from the doorway.
"Yeah," I responded with a smile as she approached the closet. "I really wish I had a nice summer dress to wear, but all I have are separates."
"You want to start that girly, huh?" she said with a big smile.
"Yeah," I said with a small laugh. I pulled out a white pleated skirt and a pink top that had a rather deep v-neck and a number of flowers "growing" up the left side toward the letters AE above the left breast. "I was thinking about wearing this."
"That will look good," Cami agreed. "But why do you have so many flowers on your clothes?"
I laughed at that before I was able to answer. "Nikki picked all of these out while I was still recovering from the changes. She thought that flowers really suited me well because 'Flower' is my codename."
"Oh," she said with a slight smirk. "That's an odd codename for a secret agent."
"True, but it stuck way too easily. I hope to get some clothes tomorrow evening that don't have flowers on them. I'd also like to pick my own out for once too."
She laughed at my statement while I hung the outfit back up. We talked for a while before she said she needed to get ready for bed. After she left I changed into my nightgown, and climbed into my own bed.
Chapter 3 - Back to School
When the next morning arrived, I was very apprehensive about returning to school as a girl. I was supposed to be a new student, which meant I wouldn't be able to acknowledge the friendships I had. Since I only had 2 classes with Nikki, it would probably be a long day.
I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Unfortunately, my sister was already in there doing her makeup. "Sorry," I said. "I was going to take a shower."
"That's okay," she said while giving me a smile. "We're going to have to learn how to share the bathroom from now on, I guess. Do you want me to leave?"
"No, you don't have to; we're both girls after all." I smiled back at her while closing the door behind me.
She stopped doing her makeup and watched me as I started to undress. It was unnerving, but I could understand her curiosity. I removed my nightgown, and standing there with only my panties on in front of my sister, I felt...justified. There was no reason to be ashamed of being naked in front of her. She continued watching me as I opened the door to the shower and turned on the water before turning back to her and removing my panties.
"What do you think?" I asked after I had placed both my nightgown and panties in the hamper and turned toward her. "Am I enough of a girl?"
She seemed amazed at my body, and I understood why. The Procedure was designed to give me a well-built body, and it had done just that.
"Wow!" Cami finally found her voice. "You look amazing! I guess you truly are a girl, huh?"
"In every way that counts," I replied with a smile, and then stepped into the shower.
I showered quickly, wanting to have plenty of time to get ready before my first day of school. Trying to keep my hair from getting wet was really hard because it was so long, but I was able to gather it into a loose braid around my head to keep it out of the stream.
Cami was no longer in the bathroom when I got out of the shower and started drying off. Once dry, I wrapped the towel around my torso and opened the door, where Adam was passing by on his way to our parents’ room. He seemed shocked to see me like that, looking so feminine with the towel wrapped around me like that, and he quickly bolted for the relative safety of my parents’ room. I quickly sprinted across the hall to my door and practically slammed it shut.
It took me a second to come down from the adrenaline high that moment had caused me, and I opened my dresser and pulled out a nice light pink lacy bra and panty set. I knew that not all girls wore matching bras and panties, but this was all Nikki had purchased for me.
With a shrug, I slipped the panties on, clasped my bra around my breasts, and turned toward my closet. I removed the skirt, the v-neck, and a white camisole that had a nice lacy neckline. I stepped into the skirt and pulled it up my legs. I was suddenly washed away with the feeling of the feminine garment, and caught myself twirling around in front of the full length mirror attached to one of the closet doors. The skirt fit perfectly, hugging my tiny waist at the top and ending about an inch above my knees. It would flare out a bit when I spun.
I found myself giggling like a small girl for a second before turning back to my bed and picking up the cami. I slipped it on followed by the v-neck and gazed at myself in the mirror again. The lace from the camisole peeking out around the v-neck was beautiful, and helped to hide some of the cleavage that I wanted to suggest, but didn't want to show off while at school. Smiling, I turned to my hair and gathered it up into a ponytail that kept the hair off my neck. I thought it looked beautiful, and I was still amazed that my hair fell way down my back.
Smiling at myself in the mirror, I added some slight makeup to enhance my eyes and lips, and turned toward the door. I realized that my backpack would no longer work for me; it was just too masculine. Since all of my books were still at school, I grabbed my purse with the white jasmine on it, and headed for the kitchen.
"You look beautiful," Mom said after I entered the kitchen. She came over to me and kissed my cheek before turning back to the pancakes she was making. "I made pancakes and bacon for you."
"Thanks, Mom," I said while grabbing a plate and loading it with food. Adam sneered at me as I sat down across from him at the dining table. I ignored him and began eating my own food.
Cami and Ben had already caught the bus to the junior high, and Adam and I usually rode in together. Turning toward him, it was obvious that this was going to be a problem. I had bought an old Audi A4 with the earnings I had made at the local grocery store, but he didn't have a car.
"Are you coming with me?" I asked him.
"No," he said in a tone that seemed to indicate it was well beneath him to even consider the idea. "Reese is going to give me a ride."
"Okay," I replied, and turned back to my breakfast. I heard a horn blow out front, and he got up and walked out the door without another word.
"He'll come around," my mom said after he had left. "He just needs time."
"I don't know about that," I said while getting up and walking to the sink to clean my dishes. "I think it's too much for him, and he probably resents me for liking it."
"Give him time."
I finished cleaning my dishes and headed for the bathroom to brush my teeth. Then I returned to the kitchen, picked up my purse and gave Mom a kiss on the cheek. "Bye, Mom, see you this afternoon."
"Bye, honey, have a great first day."
I smiled back at her while heading for the front door.
Despite being a "new" student, my car still had a parking permit, for which I was thankful. Jill had told me to meet her in the main office when I arrived at school, and I headed straight there.
"How are you doing?" Jill asked when I walked into the office.
"I'm doing great!" I said with a big smile.
"Everything okay with the family?" the concern in her voice was quite evident.
"Generally yes," I answered truthfully. "Adam won't talk to me, but we haven't had any fights or anything."
"Good," she replied, and then she turned toward the desk where a secretary was sitting.
"Sherry here knows all about Nikki and you, and she has helped get everything transferred over to your new identity. You have pretty much the same schedule and the same locker. Here."
"Good," I said with relief, taking my new schedule from her. "All of my books and stuff are still in there.
"We just need you to sign these two forms," Sherry said and indicated two forms on the desk.
"You look really pretty, Jaz," Sherry said as I took a seat to sign the forms.
"Thank you," I said, blushing. I was just happy that she was okay with what had happened to me. I signed the two forms and smiled as she took the forms.
"Have a good day," Sherry said with a big smile on her face. I smiled back at her while Jill and I headed out of the office.
"You have my cell number in case you need anything, right?" she asked me in the hallway.
"Yeah," I replied as the first bell rang.
"Do you need anything? Do you have P.E. today?"
P.E.? Geez, I hadn't even thought about P.E.! "Um," I said.
"Alright," Jill interrupted before I could answer. "I'll go get you some clothes; when does it start?"
"I have it right before lunch," I replied, trying to remember at what time the class actually started. "I think it starts at 10:30."
"Okay, I'll meet you outside the doors to the gym then. Have a good time in class." She gave me a quick hug and then walked out the doors.
The second bell rang while I was on my way to my locker. My school had an A/B schedule, 4 classes a day, 8 classes total. I picked up the books I needed for my first class, and headed that way.
"You're late, young lady," Mr. Compton said when I opened the door to the Math class.
"I'm sorry," I replied. The whole class was watching us closely. "I was in the office."
"That's no excuse," he said. He wasn't really the most likeable teacher. "And who are you?"
"Jasmine Campbell, I'm new to the school," I said, quickly glancing at my classmates. None of them seemed to make a jump to the obvious, and I didn't "feel" anything that would make me think they had guessed who I used to be.
"Ah, right," he grumbled while picking up the class roll. "It's not often new students show up with only two weeks left."
"It wasn't really my idea," I explained.
"Well," he said with an uncharacteristic smile. "Welcome to the class, I hope you were taught well wherever you came from. You can sit in that empty seat there."
He was pointing to my old seat on the third row, and I mumbled a thank you while quickly taking my familiar seat.
I quickly looked around the classroom. Many of my classmates were watching me, especially the boys. I could also feel some emotions heading my way from those boys - emotions that I didn't want to think about yet.
Mr. Compton was writing on the board, which gave the girl next to me time to lean over and introduce herself.
"Hi, I'm Susan," she said with a smile that I knew she didn't mean.
"Jasmine," I replied, returning the smile. Susan wasn't exactly the type of girl I wanted to get involved with. She was the head cheerleader at the school, and acted like she was the queen. Some girls followed her around like an entourage, but most just tried to ignore her.
"Have you ever been a cheerleader?" she asked. I wondered why for a second until I realized how good I looked. She was obviously trying to gauge what kind of an impact I would have on her popularity. I didn't think it would matter with only two weeks left until graduation. Go figure.
"No," I replied sincerely. I didn't really have a desire to be one either.
"You should sit with us at lunch. I could introduce you to the important people at this school," she said in a way that made it seem like I should not disagree with her.
"Thanks," I said. Disagreeing with her was exactly what I was going to do. "But I'm probably going to be sitting with my friend Nikki."
"Nikki Fox?" she asked, incredulous at my refusal.
"Yeah," I said brightly, obviously not sharing her thoughts about Nikki.
"Okay class," Mr. Compton said, thankfully interrupting our conversation and starting the lesson for the day. Susan was still giving me a cold look when she turned to pay attention.
Throughout class I found it interesting to see how my learning techniques had changed with the Procedure. I knew that I had a photographic memory now- many post-Procs did - but actually applying that to my schooling was a new experience. I was remembering things that I had long forgotten before the Procedure, and the new things that Mr. Compton talked about during the lesson could be recalled at any time. I was really happy to realize that I could actually remember all of the math formulas that I had learned over the years. That would come in handy.
The rest of the math class was spent learning and working on our assignments, and I was starting to think that finishing school was not as exciting as I thought it would be while at the Complex.
Once the bell rang, I returned my math books to my locker and headed for the gym. If nothing else, P.E. would be a unique experience today.
As I approached the gym, I found Jill waiting for me just like she said she would. She smiled at me while handing me a bag emblazoned with the Under Armour logo.
"I spent a bit more than normal on these, but they'll come in handy when you return to the Complex for training after you graduate. Besides, your wardrobe funds cover it."
"Thanks," I said while taking the bag from her and briefly looking inside. She'd even provided a pair of shoes and socks.
"Sorry I couldn't get it all in pink," she said with a small smile.
I laughed before replying. "Not EVERYTHING has to be pink."
"Give me a call if you need anything else."
"Thanks, Jill," I said while opening the door to the girls locker room.
"You're welcome, Jaz."
After being in the women's locker room back at the Complex, I felt that I would be able to handle what awaited me beyond that door. I wasn't nearly as nervous as I thought I would be, and I was glad that I had already gone through this experience.
I stopped at the office just inside the door, where Coach Jones was sitting at her desk. I'd had Coach Jones for P.E. last year. She was known for her tough workouts, but she was fair to her students and I was fortunate to be put in her girls’ class instead of staying with Coach Johnson, who was a mean man who liked to pick on the students in his class.
"Hi," I said when she looked up from what she was doing.
"Hi," she responded with a reassuring smile. "What can I do for you?"
"I'm new today, and I don't have a locker."
"Jasmine?" she asked after consulting a piece of paper on her desk. I nodded. "Welcome to the class, here is your locker assignment. Be dressed and ready to go five minutes after the bell rings."
She handed me a small piece of paper that contained a locker number and a combination. "Thank you," I said and started down the hall toward the lockers.
I got more than one stare while I walked toward my locker. Nikki was supposed to be in this class with me, and I was happy to note that our lockers were across the bench from each other.
"Hi," I said, setting my bag down on the bench between us.
"Hi, Jaz, how are you?" She was beaming at me, and I realized that I had forgotten to call her last night.
"I'm doing well," I said, her infectious smile spreading to my face. "Sorry about not calling last night; I got caught up with my family."
"That's okay," she said. "I did too. Everything go alright?"
I glanced at the other girls sharing our changing space. It was obvious that they were listening to Nikki and me, probably trying to learn more about the new girl.
"Yep, no issues," was all I said, hoping that it would be enough until we could talk in a more private setting.
"What's in the bag?" she asked me.
"Oh, I forgot to get some gym clothes. Jill went out this morning to pick them up for me. She said I could use them for training later."
I turned to my locker while Nikki, who was already dressed, started rummaging around in the bag. "Geez, she went all out. This stuff isn't cheap."
She rummaged through the bag some more before coming up with the receipt. "She spent $220 dollars on this stuff!"
That floored me! I was not expecting that much to be spent on my school gym clothes! "Are you serious?"
"Yeah look," she handed me the receipt. Sure enough, the exact amount was $224.96.
"Great," I said with a frown. "That's definitely not the type of first impression I want to make. People are going to think I'm spoiled or something."
"Don't worry about it," Nikki said while stripping tags off the items in the bag. The bell rang. "Hurry and get dressed though."
I turned back to my locker and started undressing. Jill had purchased a pink sports bra that I placed across my chest. She had also purchased a pair of black bikini style panties. I switched out my lacy pink ones quickly. She had also purchased a pair of shorts that fell to about 4 inches above my knee. Thankfully they weren't skin tight. They were loose, but still clung closely to my legs. To cover my sports bra she had purchased a black tee that looked snug when I put it on, but felt very loose. I was happy that it had a pink design along the left side of the shirt, preventing a totally black ensemble. The outfit was rounded out with a pair of pink, gray, and white trainers and matching socks.
"I feel overdressed for high school P.E." I told Nikki, who was still waiting for me. One of the girls who had been changing next to us laughed at the comment and gave us a smile.
"It's only for a short time, don't worry about it," Nikki said while I finished lacing up my shoes.
We walked out of the locker room and into the gym. The boys and girls classes were split up, one on either side of the basketball court. I followed Nikki over to where the other girls were milling about waiting for Coach Jones.
"Get in your lines, girls," the coach said shortly afterward. I followed Nikki and soon we were arranged in three lines across the court.
Coach Jones took roll call and then led us through a warm up stretch. I was once again amazed at how limber and flexible my new body was. I saw a couple of girls staring at Nikki and me in near awe a couple of times when we stretched much more comfortably than they could.
"Good news," Coach Jones said when we finished stretching. "Coach Johnson and I want to give you a day of fun for once." There was some chuckling from the students.
"Today, we are going to be playing dodge ball." Cheers erupted throughout the gym.
"To start," Coach Jones continued. "We are going to have a battle of the sexes, us versus the boys. Let's show them what we're made of!"
The other girls' enthusiasm for dodge ball died down with that announcement. Nikki looked at me and grinned, and I grinned back. This would be fun.
The game was confined to one half of the gym, width-wise. Coach Jones had us line up on one wall, Coach Johnson had the boys lined up on the other. Red balls were on the line in the middle.
"Everyone ready?" Coach Johnson yelled. Without waiting for a reply, he blew his whistle to start the game.
Usually when playing dodge ball, I would hang back and wait for the initial rush to happen before getting into the game. That's why I was surprised to find myself sprinting toward the balls, and I had to mentally pull myself back before I ran too fast and gave away my special abilities. I still managed to get my hands on a ball and started to back up when my main advantage started to kick in.
I ducked and moved to the left, just in time to avoid the two balls that were heading my way. My own ball had already left my hands, and one of my attackers took it straight in the chest.
I quickly felt another ball heading my way, and I managed to get my hands out and caught it.
I couldn't feel anything else coming my way, and realized that I was reacting to the throws, instead of trying to anticipate them. I slowly made my way to the back of the girls’ side, and opened up my mind.
Immediately I could feel everyone around me. Jonothon was preparing to throw a ball at Jennifer. Katie was dodging one ball only to step into the path of a second. Jack caught a soft lob that Amy had attempted to hit him with. I could feel it all happening, and it was an amazing feeling!
Jason and Brady were both aiming for me. I had been standing still too long while I explored this aspect of my abilities. I watched both of them, from opposite directions, pull their arms back and release their ball. I somersaulted forward, cleanly missing both, and threw the ball with both hands at Brady, and immediately side-stepped a third flying at my head.
Exhilarated, I realized that the chance I was going to be hit was very small, because I knew where and when each ball was coming.
I scooped another ball off the ground and sent it flying at another boy, watching him scream out loud at being hit while ducking another ball.
The game continued this way for another five minutes, with boys trying to hit me while I was returning the favor. Eventually, Nikki and I appeared to be the only two girls standing, and there was a small pause in the game as the four boys left stopped to catch their breath.
Nikki and I hadn't even broken a sweat.
Almost in unison, Nikki and I let loose on the remaining boys. Two of them were hit immediately because they were not ready for the game to continue. The other two boys were quicker on the uptake, and both Nikki and I had balls heading our way. I dove for the ground, grabbed a ball and was back on my feet within an instant, as my attacker’s ball missed me by inches. I knew before it happened that Nikki had not been as lucky. A moment later she cried out in frustration when the ball hit her in the back. I was quick with the ball I had in my arms, and her attacker never saw it coming before it hit him in the side of the head.
I quickly grabbed another ball off the ground and turned toward the last boy standing.
"You better not lose to a girl, Williams," I heard Coach Johnson yell from the sideline. Mark Williams was a starting tight end for our school’s football team. He was also a fairly good quarterback on the off chance our first and second string quarterbacks were not able to play. Suffice it to say that Mark Williams was fast, maneuverable, and had an arm.
But he hadn't gone through the Procedure.
"Finish him off, Jaz!" I heard Nikki scream from behind me, but my eyes focused on Mark. We both stood, waiting for the other to make a move. He didn't know it, but I had the advantage here. I'd know the second he was ready to make his move, and I'd be ready for it.
He started to pace back and forth, but I didn't follow. I was content to stand right where I was in the middle of the girls’ side.
Faster than I thought possible, he threw his ball at me. It was easy to dodge. He had scooped up a second ball almost immediately, and that was the one that was supposed to be my undoing. I spun to my left as the second ball passed in front of my face, and continued the spin until I was facing Mark again. He had already started celebrating and the look of surprise on his face when the ball in my right hand came flying right at him was priceless, and I would remember it forever.
It connected with the bottom of his chin, throwing his head back and bringing his body with it. As he fell to the ground, I heard a loud girlish roar behind me and turned in time to catch Nikki as she wrapped her arms around me in a hug.
"That was amazing!" I heard her say in my ear over the noise of the girls who had mobbed me. It was a simple game of dodge ball, but it had turned out to give me one of the best feelings I'd ever had while playing sports.
Eventually the girls were able to give me a high five or give me a short hug, anything to show how happy they were to beat the boys. When I got out of the mob, I saw Coach Johnson screaming at Mark. Coach Johnson was also the football coach, and he didn't tolerate failure from his players. Apparently he considered a loss to the girls to be a big failure on the part of his class, and he was taking it out on Mark personally. Not wanting to get involved, I headed over to the line that had formed for the drinking fountain.
A moment later it became apparent that dodge ball was over for the boys. Coach Johnson was screaming at them, and they were heading for the far door that led out to the track and the football field. I had a feeling that my win was going to cause them to run laps. I hoped they didn't blame me for it.
Coach Jones, however, was elated with our performance, and she let us finish the day with more dodge ball. She started by splitting us into teams, and then let us go at it. I was having fun, but I didn't want to be the last one standing for each game, and I decided to let some of the girls hit me instead of dodging their throws.
"Yes, I got her!" I heard one of the girls scream while taking her shot on my back. I grinned, I may have lost this game, but I had just made her day.
Coach Jones came over and sat next to me on the bleachers while I waited for the next game to start.
"That was very impressive," she told me with a big grin on her face. "I haven't seen Coach Johnson that upset since football season ended when we were blown out."
I smiled back. "Thanks."
"It's too bad you weren't here during some of the sports seasons, because you have excellent athletic ability, and you seemed to be very aware of what was happening. I don't know how you dodged some of those shots."
"I just tried my best," I responded, but she gave me a look that said she knew more than she was letting on.
"And thank you for letting some of these girls get you out. I didn't think their morale would be any higher after that win, but you certainly have made their day for a couple of them." She winked at me before standing up and walking away.
The rest of the period went by quickly, and it was a very tired, but very happy group of girls that were heading for the locker room. The boys were filing into the gym behind us, and they did not look happy. A couple of them glared at us when they passed on the way to their own locker room, and I felt a small twinge of guilt over the trouble I had caused them. But it was a very small twinge.
Once back at my locker, I started undressing, and decided that I had worked up enough of a sweat that I didn't want to put my clothes back on without a shower. Nikki followed me while I walked down the short hallway to the showers, pinning my hair to the top of my head with a pin that Nikki had loaned me.
"I think that's the most fun I've ever had in P.E." she said. I nodded in agreement while stepping under the stream.
"I can't believe you dodged that last ball Mark threw. I don't think I would have seen it coming." I just smiled back at her with a wink, and a look of understanding washed over her face. "Ohhhhh, I got ya. Still, very impressive."
We finished up in the showers, grabbed a towel and headed back to our lockers.
"You've learned to use them well, I see," Nikki said while we were drying off. The other girls who had been changing near us had already left, but we still wanted to be careful about how much information we gave away in our conversation.
"Dr. Young had some of the nurses throwing balls at me Saturday morning during those extra tests he ran. I'd already had some practice." Nikki just shook her head and turned to get dressed. I did the same.
"I just wish I could practice as easily as you can. Nobody even knows what you are doing. Everyone around would know if I used mine."
"I'm sorry Nik, I know that must be tough," I said trying to help her feel better. "Maybe we can find some place after school to give you a chance to do some practicing."
"Maybe," she said with a little smile, which grew larger before she spoke again. "But there probably won't be any time with all the shopping we have to do tonight."
There was no doubt about it, she was enthusiastic about shopping! I just hoped I didn't dampen her spirits when I refused to let her pick everything out for me.
We finished getting dressed in our regular clothes, and headed for the door.
"Come on," Nikki said, "I'm hungry."
Chapter 4 - From Whence Come These Feelings?
Mark Williams was sitting on a bench outside the locker rooms when we exited. Up close, I realized just how much bigger than me he was. And, boy, he was attractive! I hadn't noticed when I was trying to hit him with the ball, but his mussed up dark hair and strong handsome face were giving me chills that I had never felt about a boy before. He smiled at me, and I nearly lost it right there.
"Jaz?" he questioned me while standing up, obviously unsure of the new girl’s name. "Wow, you're tiny, no wonder it was so hard to hit you."
Any negative feelings I might have felt about my new size were drained straight out of me when he smiled at me. I couldn't help it. He was making me feel all warm and gooey inside. I had never really had this feeling before, not even before the Procedure.
"I'll save you a seat in the cafeteria," Nikki said from behind me and quickly ran off. I almost didn't even notice.
"I'm Mark Williams," he said while extending his hand for a handshake.
I placed my hand in his, and was amazed at the size difference. In fact, he was huge! I knew that Mark was 6'2" tall from my days before the Procedure. Fourteen inches and all of that muscle made me very aware of my new 5' stature, and he could probably bench press me with one hand. I decided to forget about the fact that I could probably bench press him for the time being.
"Jasmine Campbell," I said, staring into those gorgeous brown eyes.
"Are you related to Brett?" he asked the worst question he could have. I inwardly cringed, hoping that if he learned the truth he wouldn't run away from me.
"Yeah," I finally said, but left it at that. The less he knew the better for now.
"Cool, he's a nice guy." That was good to hear. At least he didn't hate who I had been before the Procedure. I noticed that we had started walking down the hallway together. With all the extra-sensory abilities I had gained from the Procedure, Mark seemed to be subverting all of them; something that had been impossible for him to do earlier.
"I'm sorry if I made you guys run laps," I said, remembering our earlier encounter with a smile. "And for making Coach Johnson chew you out."
"That's okay," he said with a reassuring smile that lit up the hallway. "I'm used to his ranting now, and doing laps for P.E. will help keep me in shape for the football camp I'm attending this summer. But those were some sweet moves you made today. I thought for sure I had you with that second ball. How did you dodge it?"
"Let's just say I'm very good at knowing my surroundings," I replied, trying to give a plausible answer that didn't involve my powers. "I saw you stop next to that ball, and had a good idea that it was following the first."
That seemed to be a good enough answer for him. "I must admit, I never expected that ball to come flying my way. It totally caught me off guard."
I let out a short, sweet laugh and smiled back at him. I was nearly at a loss for words, and didn't know quite how to respond to a boy in this position.
"Listen," he said, stopping in front of the doorway to the cafeteria and turning toward me. "I know this may be a bit forward, since we just met and all, but would you be willing to get a bite to eat with me tomorrow night?"
He was nervous; I could feel it pouring off him. Mark Williams, who was over a foot taller than me and probably more than twice my weight, was nervous about asking me out. Heck, even I was nervous about him asking me out. I had never really dated before the Procedure and never with someone whom I, well, felt this way about. I had never even felt this way about another person and I hadn't even really known him for more than the five minutes it took us to walk from the gym to the cafeteria.
"Yes," I found myself saying without even realizing it. "That sounds great."
"Great!" he repeated. His relief was profound, and then the nervousness was back quickly. "I, uh, I'll talk to you tomorrow to set up the details, okay?"
"Okay." Now it was my turn to repeat his last word. I just smiled at him as he turned toward the cafeteria. "I have to run home for lunch, but it was nice meeting you, Jaz."
He gave me a smile and then turned and walked to the exit doors next to the entrance to the cafeteria. I was still standing there mesmerized when he looked over his shoulder at me, smiled, and then was gone out the door.
"Earth to Jaz," I finally realized Nikki was standing next to me.
"Oh," I said, slightly startled. "Hi."
"Wow, he got you good. You're really out of your head right now." I just smiled at her, which caused her to roll her eyes.
"Come on," she said while pulling me into the cafeteria. "I need some food."
I followed Nikki through the lunch line, not really paying attention to what I put on my tray.
"Are you okay?" she asked when we had taken a seat at an empty table.
"Yeah," I replied, absently eating the food on my tray. "I've just never felt this way before."
"Awww, my little girl is having her first crush," Nikki said, smiling at me over her food.
"Maybe," I said, blushing slightly. "But I've had crushes before, and they never felt like this."
She smiled, before continuing. "Well, he is cute, and you definitely picked a winner."
"I didn't pick him," I replied with a frown. "I just hope that if he learns the truth about me, he'll be okay with it."
"Wow," she said, surprise filling her expression. "You really are thinking long term. I wouldn't worry about that for now, Jaz. If this goes somewhere, and he can't handle it, then he isn't worth it."
"Logically that makes sense," I agreed. "But my heart tells me otherwise."
Nikki just rolled her eyes and continued eating.
After lunch Nikki and I had Biology with Mr. Bailey. It wasn't one of my favorite classes, but I was worried about it for two other reasons. First, Mr. Bailey was aware of the arrangement The Agency had with those who had taken the test. He might not have known specifics about what occurred there, but I was concerned that he could figure it out.
The second reason...Mark Williams was in the class with us. It was the only class I shared with him, and I was worried about being able to pay attention to what was being taught.
Naturally, Nikki just laughed at me when I told her of my concerns.
"First," she said after we had retrieved our books from our lockers and were walking to the classroom. "Mr. Bailey may know about you, but I'm guessing that he won't say anything. If he does, he would be outing the whole Project, and I'm sure they must have had him sign a non-disclosure agreement or something.
"Second, you're going to have to learn how to handle Mark Williams on your own. If you really do like him the way you say you do, then you'll have plenty of time to get to know him in the future. Try to put that aside while we are in class, and then talk to him afterwards."
"Easier said than done," was the only thing I could say.
There weren't many students in the class when we arrived. Mr. Bailey stood up from his desk at the front of the class when he saw us enter and approached us.
"Nikki, it's wonderful to see you again. I hope everything went well last week?"
"Yes," she replied to him. "I'm totally glad that we took that test."
He nodded, and turned toward me. "And you must be Jasmine."
It wasn't a question, but I answered anyway. "Yes."
"Well, they sure did a number on you, didn't they," he said with a smile. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything is perfect, Mr. Bailey," I said, glancing around the room. The other students were eyeing the way we were talking with Mr. Bailey suspiciously. I didn't really want to provide them with the information that would lead them to make the connection with my former life.
"Good, good," he said, smiling the whole time. "Nikki, you know your seat, Jaz, you can sit in that seat there. That spot is vacant."
He was pointing to a desk, but I didn't need to see which one. I knew already he was talking about my old seat. How was I going to get through two weeks of school without anyone making the connection? I was becoming scared to death the whole school would know before the end of the first day!
I took my seat and pulled out my biology book, briefly skimming over the material that they had covered while we were gone. I knew immediately when Mark entered the classroom. I could actually feel a difference in the air around me when he came in. Briefly I realized that it was a strong emotion coming from him, one that I shared.
I turned toward the door. He had stopped in the doorway, blocking a couple of kids trying to get past him. He was just watching me, and when our eyes met, he smiled.
My insides melted again, and as the bell rang I was desperately wishing that our desks were closer together. Instead, we were nearly on opposite sides of the room because Mr. Bailey made his seating chart alphabetically.
I was so lost in my feelings that I missed the wad of paper Nikki had thrown at me. It hit me on the side of the head, jolting me back to reality. I glared at her, which just made her burst out in laughter that was contagious. I noticed when turning back to Mark, who had taken his seat, that he was laughing with us.
I gave him a shy smile as I turned my attention to Mr. Bailey, who was calling the class to order.
"Jaz," he said after completing the roll call. "Since you weren't here when we did the genetic testing, you'll have to use this genetic sample for class."
He handed me a booklet much like the first one I had received before my life took such a twist. I opened it and started looking through it as he explained what we were going to be talking about for the day. I was fascinated by the information the packet contained. It seemed so familiar, but I couldn't pinpoint why. It took me nearly until the end of class to understand what I was seeing.
He hadn't given me a generic sample; that was just a show for the class. The name on the sample was Jane Doe, but I knew without a doubt that it was really my DNA! My new DNA! It was definitely the DNA of a female, but I started to see the similarities with my pre-Procedure set. I didn't have my original booklet with me, but I could easily recall the gene sets in my mind.
It was fascinating to see where the changes occurred, and to try to understand why this set was different than my previous one. I was so engrossed with these changes that I was surprised when the bell rang, and then slightly disappointed with myself when I realized that I hadn't even thought about Mark throughout nearly the whole class period.
That didn't seem to bother him too much, though. He was standing just inside the door while I picked up my books and Nikki and I walked toward him.
"I'll see you after school, Jaz," Nikki said before smiling at me and rushing out of the classroom.
"Hi," I said shyly to Mark. I couldn't believe how different he could make me feel!
"Hi," he responded more confidently. I found myself gazing into those eyes again, and I was starting to get lost when he brought me back to reality. "What's your next class?"
"Um," I said, my brain actually started working for once around him and I looked at my schedule, hoping to keep up the pretense that I was a new student. "History in Room 225."
"Can I walk you to class then? My class is across the hall."
"I would like that," I replied while we stepped out the door and turned in the opposite direction of Nikki. "But I need to stop at my locker and get my book."
"Okay," he responded with another smile.
Most students were hurrying because there were only five minutes between classes. But Mark and I were slowly walking down the hall. At this pace we were both going to be late for class. I didn't really care at that moment.
We didn't really say anything while walking to my locker. I think both of us were confused about these new feelings that we were having, and didn't know how to express them. Just being in each other’s presence seemed to be enough for the time being.
"Wasn't this Brett's locker?" he asked when I stopped and started opening the locker I had been using all year.
"I don't know, maybe," I replied. I really felt bad about lying to him. It sort of felt like a knife was being stabbed into my chest; I didn't want to keep any secrets from him. "They practically gave me his whole schedule, and his books and everything. They probably gave me his locker too."
He just paused at my words, not saying anything. I dreaded that he would jump to the conclusion that I desperately hoped he wouldn't learn - at least not until I was sure he could handle it.
"How are you two related?" He finally spoke, but it was one of the worst questions that he could have asked! I felt dread enter my body, and I tried to keep my emotions bottled up to keep him from feeling them. The last thing I needed now was to project my fear on him!
"It's complicated," was all I could come up with. He didn't seem satisfied with that answer, but we both jumped slightly when the bell rang. It seemed to break us out of whatever dimension we were in together, and we quickly started walking down the hall toward our classes.
"You're an odd mystery, Jaz," he told me outside of my classroom. I didn't know how to respond to that, and before I got a chance he turned and walked across the hall, opening the door on the other side. With a backwards glance and smile, he walked into his class.
I opened the door to my history class, and Mrs. Wagner was already taking roll.
"Welcome to class. Are you Jasmine Campbell?" I nodded at her and she checked something off on her roll. "There's no seating chart here, find an empty seat, and try to make it on time to class next time."
"Sorry," I replied, matching the smile she was giving me. "I'm still getting to know where all my classes are."
I heard a snort from one of the girls in the back row, and I heard more than one person whisper Mark's name. I guess our...relationship, or whatever we had developed in such a short amount of time, was already starting to be common knowledge around the school.
The ‘hot new girl hooking up with the most eligible bachelor on the football team during her first day’ is probably good gossip.
I quickly sat in the first empty seat I arrived at and then tried to ignore the giggling that had started on the back row.
Chapter 5 - Light Shopping
Nikki was waiting for me when I got to my car after class.
"Are you excited?" she asked. I saw that familiar gleam in her eye.
"Yeah," I said with a wry smile. "It will be nice to be able to pick out my own clothes for once."
She mock frowned, but couldn't hold it for long before she started laughing. "I'm sorry. I guess I have been a bit overbearing."
"It's okay," I told her. "You've got good style. I just would like to have some input too."
We soon arrived at my house, where Cami was waiting for us.
"Finally," she said when we walked inside. "I thought you two left without me."
"We came straight home from school," I told her. "We would never leave without you."
She smiled at me and gave me a hug. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to be left out."
"You won't, Cami," I told her. "I promise. Come on, let's get going. We've got a lot to do."
I became nervous when we entered the local mall, even though I'd been here many times before. I had this overwhelming feeling that somebody was going to recognize me. I couldn't explain it. I hadn't been this nervous when I went to school earlier today.
Perhaps it was because I was going to be taking off my clothes here.
Sure, I would be in a private changing room, but something about undressing where strangers could possibly see me left me feeling odd. Even at school, I at least knew most of the girls in the dressing room during PE. It just felt natural there.
But the dread wouldn't go away as we stepped through the doors and into 'Girl Alley'.
'Girl Alley' was the nickname that many of the kids my age gave to a stretch of the mall that only contained shops that catered to young women or women in general. Victoria's Secret, Sephora, Shade, Bath and Body Works, and similar stores would sometimes see a male client, but were dominated by the fairer sex.
I had never spent any time in this section of the mall before. Now, it was our major destination for the first half of the trip.
I was immediately pulled into Victoria's Secret. I had confessed my desire to shop there to Nikki last week when we were picking up my limited wardrobe. Now, she wanted to make that desire come true.
Inside the store, I immediately felt overwhelmed and in awe. I'd never been in Victoria's Secret before. I'd always yearned to enter, but always felt out of place.
I stopped just inside the door. I couldn't believe that I was here! I couldn't believe that my life had taken such a drastic turn! I couldn't believe how happy I was! What a great day it had been - first I met Mark, and now I was living a dream. What more could I ask for?
The next four hours were amazing. We started with the intimates in Victoria's Secret, before moving on to a few other stores to pick up underwear and layering items. Then we hit department stores, and other shops to round out my wardrobe.
I was nervous when I entered the first few changing rooms. But after the first couple of stores, it became routine and I started to feel better. By the time we were done, I was having no problem stepping into one of the rooms and undressing.
Eventually, we took the last of the bags out to the car before heading to the food court to get something to eat.
"That was fun," I sighed as I sat down with my food.
Both Nikki and Cami laughed.
"That makes it official then," Cami said. "You really are my sister now. No guy would want to shop like that."
I smiled back at her. I was lucky to have a family that seemed to be so accepting of me.
We sat and talked while we ate. Cami and Nikki seemed to be hitting it off, for which I was very glad. Having my sister and my best friend become friends would definitely make my life easier.
"Uh oh," - I "felt" something just before Nikki had spoken the words. Someone was looking at us, and they didn't have very good intentions. "Don't look now, but those guys are staring at us."
Unfortunately, I had to look. Sure enough, there was a group of about five guys sitting at a table not too far away. All of them were leering at the three of us.
"Come on," I said immediately. I could feel the lust that was pouring off of that table. It was not a feeling I wanted to be around. "Let's go."
Nikki and Cami nodded and stood up. We grabbed our purses and started heading for the exit of the mall.
Fortunately, the guys didn't follow.
When we got home, we unloaded the many bags of clothes into my closet. Then I pulled the two of them into the backyard.
"What are we doing out here?" Cami asked. Nikki looked like she was wondering the same thing.
"How dim can you make your powers?" I asked Nikki. She smiled immediately. She then held up her arm and I watched as it started to glow. Under the light of the late evening sky, it wasn't nearly as bright as it had been back at the Complex.
"Wow," Cami said in awe as she saw Nikki's powers for the first time. "What else can you do?"
Nikki turned, looking around the yard. She found what she was looking for and pointed her arm, palm out, toward a large rock at the far end of the yard. Without warning, she shot a blast of light that flashed through the air and hit the rock. A small pit formed. From the dimness of the blast and the fact that I wasn't blinded, I guessed that it was a low-powered shot.
"Cool!" Cami exclaimed. Nikki then proceeded to release all the frustrations she had at not being able to use her powers in public. She fired at a number of other objects around the backyard.
None of the shots were powerful enough to cause damage, but the relief and happiness on her face was certainly worth a small knick in a rock or tree stump.
Eventually, I started moving rocks around in the air and let her try to hit them. I started by leaving them in a single place, and then let her graduate to slow moving targets before finally trying to make the rocks avoid her blasts entirely.
She was starting to hit the targets almost every time when Ben came outside.
"What are you doing?" he asked curiously. I was nearly sure that he'd seen us practicing before he came out.
Unfortunately, he shocked Nikki. She was just about to shoot another rock, but instead she yelped, and her entire arm turned black. That's when she screamed.
"Jaz! Make it stop!" she yelled, staring in horror at her totally black arm. It was almost as if the whole arm was absorbing the light around it.
She was hysterical, and I immediately started sending calm emotions her way. As she started to calm down, her arm began to revert to normal. With tears in her eyes, she turned to me and wrapped her arms around me.
"Thank you," she sobbed into my shoulder. I hadn't really done anything other than help her calm down.
"What happened?" I asked. She lifted her head from my shoulder and let go of the hug. She still looked scared, but she looked calm enough to discuss it.
"I was about to shoot, and then HE came out," she started before glaring at Ben. Suddenly she stopped talking, and I realized that Nikki didn't want to talk about this around him.
"It's alright," I told her. "Nikki, this is Ben, my brother. Ben, this is Nikki. He's signed a non-disclosure document. We can talk about our powers with him around."
Nikki nodded before continuing her explanation. "I was about to shoot. I could feel the energy starting to leave me. When he spoke, I tried to pull the shot back. I didn't want him to see my powers. I felt the energy come back, and then more energy started coming too!"
She looked frustrated for a moment as she tried to find the right words. Finally, she spoke again. "It was like I was pulling the energy in instead of shooting it out."
"Do you want to try again?" I knew that this was a new manifestation of her powers. It was definitely something we should try and explore. I was certain Jill and Rob would tell us not to experiment alone, but this was too exciting to not continue.
"I...I guess," she said, but she looked very nervous and unsure of herself.
"Remember what they taught us in training - start small," I told her with a smile. She returned my grin with a small smile.
"Ok," she said before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She then held out her arm, and we watched entranced as the area in the middle of her palm started to turn black. She opened her eyes and looked in amazement at the small, black area. It was almost like looking at nothing. It was such a pitch black that there didn't appear to be any definition to it at all.
After a moment she got a look of concentration on her face, and I watched as the small black area expanded, slowly inching its way across her skin and around to the back of her hand and fingers. Soon, it encompassed and surrounded her whole hand. She wiggled her fingers, and the blackness moved along with her.
"It tingles," she said. She then looked back at the rock she had originally shot. I immediately got a bad feeling. I could feel the energy on the tips of her fingers, and I knew what she was planning to do.
"Wait!" I screamed, but it was too late. She was already shooting at the rock! Without even realizing what I was doing, I shut my eyes as hard as I could and reached out for Cami and Ben, turning them away from Nikki with my powers.
Even with my eyes closed, I could see a bright orange haze filtering through my eyelids. Then I heard the explosion. It wasn't a huge fireball, but rock shards went flying everywhere. Fortunately, none of us were standing in the debris zone. Those shards probably would have done some serious damage if we had been in their path.
"Whoa!" I heard Nikki exclaim, and I lifted one eyelid, peering out to make sure I wasn't going to be blinded by a second shot. She was standing there, mouth agape at the rock. I opened my eyes completely and turned to look myself.
Instead of a rock, there was now a small crater. I was trying to figure out if Dad would be mad or not. He had tried to remove that rock a few years ago, but had given up and left it in place. But he sure wouldn't be too happy about the new crater.
"Everyone okay?" I asked, turning back around to look at the others. Cami and Ben were pulling themselves off the ground. I grimaced. I must have been more forceful in turning them than I thought.
"Yeah," Cami replied. "But that spun me around really hard." I noticed that she had a small scrape on her palm where she had placed her hand down to catch her fall. Ben just nodded, but he was staring at the crater with wide eyes.
"Sorry," I told the two of them. "I was just trying to turn you away from Nikki. Her powers are really bright, and I didn't want you two to be blinded."
I then turned back to Nikki. She was staring at her hand now. Thankfully, it was completely flesh-toned. "Are you okay?" I asked her.
"Yes," she replied softly. "But I think I'm done for the day. I'm not ready to mess with that again."
I nodded. We learned a lesson - this was a good example of why we shouldn't be experimenting alone. But our new powers were amazing, and the desire to understand them was very strong.
"I don't know what happened," she said. "I was only trying to use a small portion of the energy, like I'd been doing the whole time."
"Nikki," I whispered truthfully. "I think you did."
"Sorry about your rock, Mr. Campbell," Nikki apologized again.
"That's okay, Nikki," he replied with a small laugh. "I really, really hated that rock."
I laughed with him. He really did hate that rock. He'd mentioned many times that he'd like to blow the thing up. He was probably jealous that he hadn't been there when it happened.
"I'll be back in a bit," I told my parents, and Nikki and I stepped out of the house.
"Bye, Nikki," Cami said from behind me.
"Bye, Cami," she replied with a look and a quick wave over her shoulder. I pulled the door closed, and the two of us walked to my car and got in.
"That was exciting," I quipped while backing out of my driveway.
Nikki laughed lightly. She was finally starting to come out of the shock she had felt at her new-found ability. Before I'd let her stop for the evening, I made sure that she practiced releasing the energy safely. She'd already shown that she could accomplish such a task when I'd had to calm her down after her whole arm turned black. She just needed to practice in case it happened again.
"Thanks, Jaz," she responded a moment later. "I'm not sure what would have happened if you weren't there to help me calm down. I was so scared that first time."
"You're welcome, Nikki. That's what friends are for."
"I know, but I don't think a normal friend would have been able to help me like you did," she replied. "Your ability to project emotions at a person is a powerful thing. It’s almost as powerful as that black energy."
I thought about that for a moment. That was probably the truth. Playing with another's emotions certainly had proven to have a big impact.
"Do you know what it is?" I asked her. "The black energy?"
"I don't think it's really black energy," she explained. "It felt more like I was absorbing all of the light around my hand and concentrating it. That blast was way more powerful than anything I had felt before."
"Just be careful," I told her, the concern obvious in my voice.
"I will," she promised. "I'm going to call Jill and tell her what happened. Hopefully she can help me figure out what to do next."
"Okay," I replied, happy with her plan. Jill would know what to do.
I pulled into her driveway. It had been a good day, and I was happy that I could call Nikki my friend.
"Are you going to pick me up in the morning?" she asked while opening her door.
I smiled. "Sure, I'll see you in the morning."
"Good night, Jaz," she said while stepping out of my car.
"Good night, Nikki," I replied.
Chapter 6 - Le Cauchemar Vivant
The following morning was pretty routine, as far as my new life was concerned. I picked up Nikki and we headed to school for my second day.
"What did Jill say?" I asked her while we were in the car.
"I couldn't reach her," Nikki replied. "But Rob wasn't very happy that we experimented with a new power on our own. He said we should have called him over first."
I shrugged my shoulders. I knew that was going to be their response. But I thought we had taken enough precautions to keep ourselves from getting into trouble.
"He said he'd come over to my house tonight and help me learn more about it," she said.
"That's good," I replied. I was slightly disappointed I wouldn't be there to help, but just picturing Mark was enough to overcome that disappointment. I definitely preferred to go on my date!
The rest of the morning went smoothly. I had English and Photography. In both classes I was introduced as a new student, and there seemed to be no recognition from my classmates that I was anything else. My worries about being recognized as Brett seemed to be unfounded.
Lunch was depressing. I had hoped that I would be able to eat lunch with Mark, but he was nowhere to be found. I had been looking for him all morning, but I hadn't seen him. I wished I had more classes with him.
"Get over it," Nikki finally said. "I mean, I know you're in love or you think you are, but you can't be yearning for him all the time."
"I know," I replied truthfully. I knew that I was more obsessed with him than I should be, but I couldn't help my feelings. "But he said he would talk to me to set up our date."
Then I had the most horrible feeling overcome me! "You don't think he's trying to back out, do you?" I asked Nikki in a worried tone. He wouldn't do that - we had made a connection!
"I doubt it," she replied, scowling like she didn't believe for an instant what I had suggested. "I bet he's just busy or something. Give him time."
"Okay," I replied, but it still hurt.
By the end of lunch, I still hadn't found him, and I had to go to my French class. Halfway through the class, Mrs. Swenson was teaching us the nuance of some particular conjugation when I felt something that chilled me to the bone.
The door to the classroom creaked open. I instantly ducked even before I heard the gunshot. I felt the bullet pass over my head before it embedded itself in the concrete wall next to where I was sitting! Everyone was screaming as I looked toward the door to the classroom. Justin was there, and he had a gun. Another shot rang out, but this one hit the ceiling, and I realized I had forced his arm upward without even thinking about it.
My concern turned toward the other students in the classroom. It was apparent that Justin didn't care about them, and I was worried that he might turn the gun on one of them next.
I yanked on the gun, but his grip was strong. My second pull had the gun flying across the room, clattering against the wall opposite the door. Another scream rang out as it landed in front of a girl crouched there next to the wall.
I tried to send out a feeling of calm to everyone in the classroom, to keep them from panicking. The excitement level in the classroom died down slightly, but the spike of anger from the door was increasing.
"You're dead, Jasmine!" he screamed, before striding forward a step. "I gave you a chance to be at my side, but your refusal comes with a price! Death is that price!"
In all of the confrontations I'd had with him since the Procedure finished, I had never felt him as angry as he was then! Thinking quickly, I stopped him from continuing any further into the room. This only made him angrier, and he started pushing against my invisible hold.
He was stronger now, stronger than when I stopped him next to the pool. But he was still not strong enough. I found myself wishing Nikki was here. It was taking too much concentration to keep him from advancing to be able to get out my phone and call Jill. I didn't know what to do to help him. I didn't know what to do to even stop him. His gaze on me was so intense I was certain that he wasn't going to stop until he had his hands on me.
"Justin," I said, hoping to help calm him. Instead it just seemed to increase his anger.
"Don't talk to me!" he spat at me. "You no longer get that privilege!"
Now my anger was starting to rise. He was drawing too much attention to us. I was starting to realize that my life was not currently in danger, but he could tell everyone about the powers that Nikki and I had! Mine were not visible, but people might ask why a muscular teenager was unable to move forward. Nikki's powers, on the other hand, would be very noticeable if she were to show up.
"Justin," I started again. "You need help. Let them take you back; they can help you."
"NO!" He screamed. "They don't understand! There's nothing they can do to help me!"
I didn't know what else to say or do. My skill set as a negotiator was very lacking. We stood there facing one another for the next 5 minutes, with me concentrating on preventing him from getting farther into the classroom, and he trying to find a way past my invisible wall.
That's when we heard the sirens. While I was not able to use my own cell phone, I realized that a number of the students in the classroom were on the phone. Thank goodness!
Suddenly, Justin seemed to realize that the police were coming, and sneered at the sound. "This isn't over, Jasmine. You’d better watch your back!" With that he turned and fled down the hall. I rushed to the door, but he was already exiting the doors at the far end; he was fast.
I could feel him continuing to run long after he was out of sight. Once I felt the immediate danger was removed, I turned back to the classroom.
"Is everyone alright?" I asked. The other students and Mrs. Swenson were starting to get up from where they had been hiding behind their desks or against the wall. They all looked shaken, but nobody seemed to be harmed in any way. Everyone was nodding their head or responding positively.
I placed my back against the wall and slid down to the floor. With Justin gone, I didn't know what to do next. I was surprised to realize that tears were coming to my eyes, and the next thing I knew, I was a sobbing mess. Nikki and Agent Harris found me there. Nikki crouched down next to me and enveloped me in a hug that only caused me to cry harder.
"It's okay, Jaz," she soothed. "He's gone."
If my classmates and teachers hadn't guessed my true identity already, I was beginning to feel it was only a matter of time, despite my thoughts to the contrary earlier that morning. I had already proven that I knew Nikki. I was finishing all of the classes that Brett was taking. Heck, I even had the same last name! Now I had been attacked by the third student who had gone with Brett and Nikki, and they had seen me with Agent Harris. Nobody had come out and asked me yet if I was Brett, or if I had been Brett, but I knew it was going to happen soon.
Nikki helped me up so I could sit in a chair. As I sat there in the classroom waiting for my turn to give the police my statement, all of these thoughts were running through my head. Some of my classmates who were still in the classroom were giving me funny looks. Because they suspected who I was, because Nikki was still doting on me, and because I was the target of the attack they had just participated in, it didn't matter. I couldn't wait for the school year to be over! I felt an urgent need to get out of here.
Agent Harris had taken charge the minute he came in. He was with the police obtaining statements from my classmates. Once they provided their statements they were allowed to leave. The rest of the school had already been released for the day.
As soon as the last student had been released, Agent Harris and the police walked over to where Nikki and I were sitting.
"Are you okay?" he asked me. I noticed then how much he was like Jill. I didn't really know him as well, but I still felt at ease with him.
"Yes," I sighed in reply. I was ready to go home or do anything other than stay here in this classroom.
A shadow fell across the door to the classroom at that moment, and I flinched slightly at the thought that Justin might be back. Instead, when I looked at the door, my heart fluttered.
Mark Williams was standing there, looking shocked at the scene inside the classroom, and at me.
"Are you okay?" he asked, staring into my eyes. I just nodded. He came over to me then, lifted me up, and wrapped me in a hug, pulling me hard into his chest. The love and support he was giving me caused me to burst into tears again, and I found myself trying to cradle myself in his arms.
He stood there holding me, supporting me while I cried myself dry for the second time that day. I didn't want him to let go. I had finally found a place where I felt safe, where I felt Justin had no way to get to me. Where there was no way for him to try to hurt me again. I looked up into Mark's eyes, clearing the tears out of my own with my hands.
"Thank you," I told him, and his smile wrapped me in a warmth that made all my worries disappear.
"You're welcome, Jaz," he returned my smile with one that lit up the room. "I'm here for you."
"I'm sorry to interrupt you two," Agent Harris broke in. I could have killed him right then. "But I need to talk to Mark privately for a minute. Is that okay?"
Mark looked at me, and I nodded my head. I couldn't believe I had fallen for a boy so quickly after returning home! Nikki stayed with me while Mark and Agent Harris went into the hall.
"I guess he does feel the same way about you," Nikki said, squeezing my hand in reassurance.
We gave our statements to the police officer while waiting for the two of them to return. When they did, Mark had a big smile on his face, and Agent Harris' was nearly as big.
"Jasmine," Mark said, taking my hand from Nikki. "I have to go with Agent Harris for a bit, but if you're still up for it, I'd still like to take you to dinner this evening."
"I'd like that," I said, returning the infectious smile that he was giving me, driving away all of the bad again.
"Great," he said, squeezing my hand gently. "How about I pick you up at six?"
"I'll be ready."
Agent Harris and Mark left, and Nikki and I grabbed our things and started for home.
Nikki wanted to come over to my house and help me get ready for my date. After the events of this afternoon, the thought of going on a date did not sound appealing. If it had been with anyone other than Mark, I probably would have cancelled.
It was nearly five by the time we got home. Mark hadn't left me with much time to get ready, especially since he had told me to dress nicely.
"The little black dress?" I asked Nikki, pulling the dress she had purchased for me at the Complex out of my closet.
"Sure, that will work," she responded.
I laid the dress out on my bed and turned to my dresser. A lacy black bra and panty soon joined it.
"Stockings or hose?"
"Neither," Nikki replied. "I think bare legs will be okay for tonight, unless you need to shave them."
"I don't think I need to," I said, but I was not certain because my jeans were still on. Once I had them off, I knew I was still okay. "Just shaved last night, they still feel smooth."
"Alright, hurry and get dressed then, I need to use the restroom."
While Nikki went across the hall to the bathroom, I finished undressing and replaced my underwear with the lingerie I had set out. There was no way to call the bra and panty anything else.
I quickly slid the dress over my head and once again, Nikki found me staring at myself in the mirror.
"Gosh, Jaz!" she exclaimed frantically when she found me. "Do you ever stop staring at yourself?"
"Not yet," I replied with a small laugh. "It's still feels like a dream."
I saw her roll her eyes while I finished a similar look to the one I had last Saturday during our night on the town. With smoky eyes, light pink lipstick and my blonde hair framing my face, I felt like a supermodel.
"I still envy how quickly you can get ready," Nikki said while frowning at me. "It would take me another half an hour to do my hair and makeup."
I smiled. "I still need to learn how to do both. It's not like I can use my powers in public if I need to change my hair or makeup."
"Good point," she said. "I can teach you some time if you want."
"I'd like that."
I grabbed the matching 3-inch pumps from my closet and slipped them on.
"Plenty of time left," I said, checking the time on my alarm clock. "I've still got fifteen minutes."
"Where's Cami?" Nikki said, changing the subject. "She'll be mad if you don't show her before you leave."
"I don't know. I haven't seen her all day."
I walked out of my room and looked into hers. Empty.
"Jaz?" I heard my mom ask from the kitchen. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah," I said when she poked her head into the hallway. "What do you think?"
I gave her a twirl and when I made it back around, her mouth was agape.
"Wow!" she eventually said. "You are beautiful!"
I smiled and gave her a hug. That's the best thing I could have heard from her! She truly was accepting me for who I really am.
"Where's Cami?" I asked.
"I'm not sure; she said she'd be at a friend’s house."
"Oh," I said, disappointed.
"WHAT THE HECK!"
I was jolted by the emotional impact that felt like it was boring a hole in my brain. Adam was standing behind Mom, and he looked furious. Oddly, after what I had gone through earlier, he didn't really scare me.
"What are you doing?" he demanded, glaring at me in a way that I was sure he meant to be intimidating.
"What do you mean?" I calmly asked, trying to project an aura of calm his way. Unfortunately, manipulating his emotions did not seem to be working.
"Why are you dressed like that?" he practically spat. The disgust on his face evidence enough of the feelings he'd kept bottled up since I returned home.
"I have a date tonight," I told him, trying again to project some calm his way. It still didn't seem to be working.
"With who?" he screamed. "A boy?"
This was it. He could take me turning into a girl, maybe. But liking boys? He must have felt that it was the same thing as being gay, even if I was no longer a boy myself. He'd always had a negative reaction to gays and lesbians.
"Yes, Adam," I said calmly. He needed to hear this. "A boy. Get this through your head - I'm not a boy anymore. I might not have ever been a boy."
He glared at me, fury on his face. But he didn't do anything. He stared like he was trying to figure out who I was. Finally, I felt more than saw the change in his eyes.
"Whatever," he said roughly, and turned and walked back down the stairs. I grinned slightly.
Chapter 7 - Love is in the Air
Ten minutes later the doorbell rang. Nikki refused to let me answer the door, but I was still standing close by when she opened it.
"Hi, Mark," Nikki said with a big smile.
"Hi," he replied back. He broke into a big smile when he saw me. He was wearing a black sport coat and pants over a white button up shirt, which was left open at the top without a tie.
"Wow!" was all he could say as he stared at me. My smile was just as big as his. "You look absolutely amazing!"
"Thank you," I said with a slight blush. "You clean up pretty well yourself."
I felt lost staring into those chocolate brown eyes for a moment.
"Shall we go?" he asked while extending his hand toward me.
"Yes," I said while taking it. I saw Nikki roll her eyes in my peripheral vision, but mine stayed locked on Mark while he escorted me out the door to his car.
Mark normally drove a black Toyota Tacoma truck that had an impressive lift on it. But tonight there was a black BMW waiting for us in the driveway. He walked me to the passenger door and opened it for me. I slid in and watched him close the door and walk around to the driver’s side.
"My dad let me borrow his car," he said by way of explanation when he got in. "I thought it would be easier for you to get into than my truck."
I smiled at him while he started the car and began driving down the road. I had heard that it could be difficult to get into high vehicles while wearing a dress, and I was glad that I was not going to add it to my experiences just yet.
We engaged in some small talk while he drove us to an unknown destination. While I hadn't known him well before the Procedure, I had always thought he was a nice guy. He was certainly living up to those expectations now.
After a few minutes of driving we pulled up in front of an Italian restaurant that I had never been to before. He parked and then rushed around to my door to help me out.
He offered me his elbow, and with my arm in his we walked into the restaurant.
"Reservation for Williams," he told the hostess when we walked in.
"This way please," she said and passed us off to a cute young woman to lead us to our table.
We were led to a table in a small alcove off a dimly lit room. The lighting made it feel almost as if the room was lit by candles, and set a very romantic mood. I was worried for a second that Mark was expecting much more of me than I was willing to give, but as I slid onto the bench on my side of the table, he gave me a smile that melted my will and reassured me at the same time that he respected me. He wouldn't force me into anything I wasn't ready for.
"This place is amazing," I told him after we were told that our waiter would be right with us. "I didn't even know this place existed."
"My dad is a part owner," Mark said, but he said it as an explanation rather than trying to boast. "I grew up eating here for birthdays and family gatherings. They try to keep it low-key so that it doesn't get very crowded."
"I like it," I said, smiling at him again.
"I'm glad," he said, returning my smile and taking my hand in his on top of the table. "I wanted tonight to be special."
I blushed at that and lowered my eyes to the table. I had never felt this way about someone before, especially not a boy. But it felt so right, and I never wanted this feeling to end.
"Jasmine," he said softly, prompting me to look into his eyes. "There's something I need to tell you."
I gazed into his loving face, waiting for him to continue. But before he could we were interrupted by a young man who stepped closer to our table. Disappointed, I turned toward him.
"Good evening," he said, oblivious to what he had just interrupted. "My name is Trevor and I will be your waiter this evening."
He smiled at us, but I could feel the boredom that he was truly feeling. He didn't really enjoy his job, and fortunately my pity for him held back the words that were ready to come out because of the bad timing on his part.
"Can I start you with some drinks?"
"I'll have a root beer," Mark said to him. I could feel his irritation at being interrupted, but he didn't let the waiter see it. "Jaz?"
"I'll have a root beer also."
The waiter quickly left us, and Mark turned back to me.
"Jaz," he started again. "I've never felt this way about someone before. When I saw you, when I truly saw you for the first time after the dodge ball game, my heart skipped a beat. There's something magical about you."
"I know what you mean, Mark. When I first saw you standing there outside the locker rooms, well, I've never felt my insides melt like that before. I don't know what this means, but I don't want the feelings to end."
Before either of us could continue, Trevor was back with our drinks, irritating both of us even more. I was ready to strangle him!
"Here you go," he said placing two root beers down between us. "Have you had a chance to look at our menu?"
"No," Mark said, and Trevor left to give us a few more minutes to decide what we wanted to eat.
Instead of continuing our conversation, we opened our menus to decide what we wanted to eat. By the time Trevor had returned, I had decided on a Caesars salad.
"I'll have the chicken alfredo," Mark told Trevor.
"And for the lady?" Trevor asked, turning towards me.
"I'll have a Caesars salad," I replied while handing him my menu.
"We'll also take an order of garlic bread," Mark told the waiter while giving me a smile. "It's spectacular."
I smiled back at him. I had wanted to try the garlic bread, which was one of my favorite foods, but I didn't want to have bad breath. Mark seemed to have read my mind.
"Great, I'll be back with your order shortly," Trevor said and left us alone again.
I found myself staring into Mark's eyes again, and my hand was in his.
"Jaz," he started for the third time this evening. He was radiating affection for me, and I loved bathing myself in the emotions that he was emitting. "I talked with Rob this afternoon, and he told me some things."
I panicked immediately, and I saw Mark wince with the emotions that I must have been projecting on him. What had Agent Harris told him? He wouldn't divulge my original identity, would he? He had no right!
"It's okay," Mark said, taking my hand again. I hadn't realized that I had jerked it out of his. "It's okay."
How could it be okay? Once he found out the truth, he would leave me! I could feel the tears welling up, but before they could come Mark caught my eyes with his.
"It's okay," he repeated, and smiled. That smile nearly broke my heart. I couldn't lose this, whatever this was. I couldn't.
"He told me everything, and it doesn't matter to me. I don't care who you were before. You mean everything to me now."
This time the tears did come. But instead of the tears of despair that were welling up just moments before, these were of relief, of happiness, of...love?
I'd skirted the thought in my head before, but now I had dived into the deep end. I loved Mark Williams. How could this be happening? I'd only been a girl for less than two weeks and I was already in love!
"Wow!" he exclaimed with the most blissful look on his face. "This is an amazing feeling! Rob said you could share your emotions with others, but it's something completely different to FEEL it. You scared me to death with that stab of fear; I thought I had lost you. But now, well, now I know you truly feel the same way about me that I feel about you."
He smiled at me again, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. We stared at each other for a few minutes. We didn't need words to express what we were communicating.
Once again, however, we were interrupted by Trevor. This time I couldn't stop the emotional pain his appearance caused, and he involuntarily took a step back from the table, quickly sidestepping to keep the tray with our orders from falling.
"Whoa," he said. He had a perplexed look on his face while he regained his balance. "Sorry about that."
He was not apologizing for interrupting us, no matter how much I wanted him to. He was clueless about that. He was apologizing about the odd misstep he had taken which almost caused him to drop our orders.
"Chicken alfredo for you," he said placing a large bowl in front of Mark. Then picking up the other bowl he placed it down in front of me. "And a Caesar salad for the lady."
He then placed a basket of garlic bread between us and quickly retreated from the table, his embarrassment over nearly dumping an order hastening his speed. I felt only slightly guilty about that. I didn't realize until now quite how much of an effect the emotions that I project could have on other people. Once again I reminded myself that I needed to be careful.
"What was that?" Mark asked me with a sly grin on his face.
"Oh," I said with a slight blush. "I accidently focused my irritation on him when he interrupted us."
"You truly are amazing," he said, then took a bite from his dinner.
I smiled back and took a bite of my own food. It was definitely worth the price.
"Why would he tell you?" I asked Mark a few moments later, continuing our conversation. "I mean, what right did he have?"
"Jaz," Mark said, slightly guarded. "Don't blame Rob for this. He didn't want to tell me, especially after he learned of our, um, involvement.
"Look," he said, setting down his fork and looking me straight in the eye. "The truth is, most of the students know that something odd is going on with Nikki and you, and now Justin. I mean Nikki and Brett go away for a week after talking to unknown government-looking agents. Then Nikki comes back with a girl who has the same last name as Brett's, and she is taking all of his classes. Who starts a new school with two weeks remaining in the school year?"
I just looked at him. My worst fears about finishing the school year were about others learning who I used to be, and Mark confirmed that everyone had suspicions. This was not good! Tears started to well in my eyes again.
"I think the only reason nobody has said anything about it is because you are so tiny," he continued. "There's no way you could be Brett, because you're way too small. I don't know what the others are thinking after this afternoon."
I really didn't like hearing my old name coming from him. It just seemed wrong, and he seemed to feel the same way, cringing when he had to say it. But he had a point. My return to school wasn't exactly low key.
Before I had a chance to respond, and after he took another bite of food, he continued.
"When Rob asked to talk to me earlier today , I thought he was going to try to keep me from seeing you. With the moves that Nikki and you showed in dodge ball, moves she didn't have before, it was clear that you two were special in some way. Having a government agent show up right after the shooting this afternoon only helped to clarify it for me."
He frowned slightly and took another mouthful of food. I did the same, giving him the time he needed to collect his thoughts. He obviously needed to tell me these things.
"I was ready to tell him that there was no way I was going to stay away from you," he said after swallowing. "But he didn't say anything about you, at least not at first. He said that he had a job offer for me and asked me to come with him to talk about it."
A job offer? What kind of job? My heart started to beat faster as he continued his explanation.
"After saying goodbye to you we headed to an empty classroom, where he handed me a binder."
I couldn't help it - I gasped!
"A binder?" I asked him, not believing what I was hearing.
"Yes," he said with another large smile. "Apparently Agent Harris was already at the school waiting for me to get out of class. He didn't even know we were involved in any way until I showed up outside the classroom after, well, you know."
I nodded, not wanting to dwell on the events of this afternoon.
"He told me about the Procedure, about the job I would have afterward, and asked me if I was willing to join. I hesitated at first, but he used ‘dirty tricks’ to convince me."
"You joined?" I asked with glee readily apparent in my voice.
"How could I not, when he told me that we could be together more often if we worked together?"
I was staring at him in shock now. "Working together?"
"That's what he said. I will admit that the idea of being some kind of secret agent was exciting, and the limited details they give you about the Procedure before you sign were intriguing. But the thought of being able to spend more time with you was the clincher.
"After I had signed my contract, he told me about Justin. He told me that there were risks involved in the Procedure, and that Justin had been affected by the Procedure, altering his brain chemistry. They needed a replacement for him to fill out the new team that Nikki and you were on."
I was beaming at him now! I hadn't even considered what would happen when I had to go back to the Complex after graduation, how I would have to leave him behind. The realization that I wouldn't have to leave him was overwhelming!
"But why you?" I asked, wondering if there was a reason.
"Coincidence mostly," he said. "My recruitment had nothing to do with you if that's what you were wondering. Rob said that I had the next highest rating after Nikki, Justin, and you. I was the next logical choice."
"Wow!" I stammered. Having Mark on the team instead of Justin would be a big upgrade! I pondered it for a few seconds and then said, "That still doesn't explain why Agent Harris told you about me."
"Like I said earlier," Mark explained with a slight grimace. "He didn't want to. He did tell me who was on the team, but he didn't go into details. I asked about you."
"Why?"
"Well, I had feelings for you, and the answer to the mystery of who you are was staring me straight in the face. I asked if you had been Brett. Agent Harris flinched immediately. By that time he knew we were involved, and I think he was afraid that the information of who you used to be would drive a wedge between us, causing us to not mesh together as a team. He reluctantly admitted the truth, sure that I would be trying to break my contract."
"But you didn't, right?" I asked him. I was truly afraid to lose what I didn't even know I had hours earlier.
"Of course not. I told you that I don't care. I have never truly believed in love at first sight, but you already mean so much to me, and I just met you yesterday. Rob was relieved when he finally understood that your previous identity didn't matter to me."
He was smiling at me again, and I was melting once more. I couldn't believe how great my life had become in such a short amount of time! I wanted to hug him right then and there!
"What happens now?" I asked him.
"Now, we finish our date." I chuckled at his obvious answer. "I'll be flying back with you and Nikki after graduation and will go through the Procedure then. He wanted me to go this week so we could start training immediately, but there isn't enough time before finals."
"Finals," I grumbled at the reminder. I still hated tests.
"Yeah, ‘finals’ was the excuse I gave him, but there was a bigger reason."
I wasn't sure what he was talking about, and my quizzical expression made him laugh lightly.
"Jaz," he said while taking both of my hands in his and staring straight into my eyes. "You know what this Saturday is, right?"
Saturday. Saturday. I drew a blank. I couldn't think of anything that was happening on Saturday.
"The Gala?" he suggested, trying to jog my memory.
Understanding lit my face. The biggest dance of the year for most high schools is the prom. And while the prom was still big at my school, it didn't hold a candle to the End of Year Gala. I hadn't planned on attending before the Procedure, and I hadn't even thought about it since returning from the Complex. A big smile spread across my entire face.
"Will you go with me?" Mark asked when he realized I understood.
"Of course," I told him, already thinking about what I would have to do to get ready. I truly was a girl, I thought while quickly considering where I would get a dress, what to do with my hair, etc.
"Jaz," Mark said a few moments later, pulling me out of the zone I had fallen into in my head. "I'm really glad you came into my life."
I was so glad that I wasn't wearing any makeup. Standing in front of the mirror in the restroom, I realized just how bad my face would look if the color on my face wasn't a part of my powers. I'd done enough crying over dinner to wash most of it away if it had been applied, but other than a slight puffiness under my eyes, there was no indication that I had been crying.
Dinner had been amazing, I thought while exiting the restroom. Mark was there and offered me his arm, which I readily latched onto.
Walking arm in arm out of the restaurant, I thought back to how much of an emotional roller coaster this day had been. The events of this afternoon, and the despair I had felt then, had turned into love and understanding. A friendship had been born, and I felt certain that this friendship was going to last a long time. I did not know why I was attracted to Mark the way I was. I did not know why we hit it off so well together. I did know, now, that I was in love with him.
The thought still felt slightly funny to me. The events over the past week and a half had definitely proved to me that I truly was a young woman, and emotionally I felt that way. Intellectually, being in love with a young man still had a negative stigma to it. I'd spent 18 years of my life as a male, and these feelings were taught to be wrong to me. Thankfully, that part of my life, and the thoughts that came with it, were retreating rapidly.
I never wanted to lose the feelings I had for Mark.
Mark led me back to his car and opened my door for me. After I was in he closed my door and walked around to his side and got in. With another one of those heart-melting smiles, he started the car and we were heading out of the parking lot.
It was already eight o'clock. We'd been talking for quite a while before we felt it was time to leave. Because June was quickly approaching, the sun was still quite high in the sky and I knew that we had at least another hour before the sun would set.
I didn't know where Mark was taking me, other than it obviously was not my house. But I didn't care. At that moment I would have followed him anywhere.
He started driving up the canyon, and eventually turned onto a private road that led to a small cabin which had a brilliant view over the town and the lake on the other side.
"Where are we?" I asked when the car had come to a stop in the cabin's driveway. A better look at it showed me that it wasn't a cabin, but a house with log siding, giving it a cabinesque feel.
"This is my house," he told me with a large grin before opening his door and getting out of the car. I was left stunned for a minute wondering what it would be like to live up here. It only took us ten minutes to get here from the city, but it still felt like a mountain retreat.
"You live here?" leapt from my mouth when he opened my door and offered his hand to help me out.
"No," he said while leading me closer to the overlook. "At least, not yet. I still live in my parents’ house because it's closer to school. But my dad has been teaching me about the real estate business, and this is the first piece of property I was able to purchase with the money I have made with his help."
"Wow!" I stammered. I hadn't realized he was already working in real estate.
"Yeah, it's pretty impressive. I hope to move into it someday with my wife at my side." He gave me a look that made me blush. We'd just expressed our love for each other for the first time, but he was already hinting at marriage!
I wasn't sure where this relationship was going yet. For all intents and purposes, we just met yesterday. But the thought that it might come to that conclusion sometime in the future was surprisingly reassuring. Granted, it would be a long time in the future. I still needed to learn more about myself before I dove that far into a relationship.
"Sorry," he said while watching the feelings displayed on my face. I hoped I wasn't conveying my emotions to him. "That's too much too soon."
"It's okay," I told him. "The idea isn't unappealing. But I just need to learn more about myself and who I am now before I can commit to a relationship like that."
"I understand," he said while wrapping me in a hug. "I'm not going to rush you. I love you, Jasmine Campbell, and I don't want to jeopardize that."
I squeezed him back while luxuriating in his warmth and the smell of the cologne he was wearing. How lucky could I be?
"I thought we could watch the sunset together, and then I would take you home," he said after we had released the hug. I nodded at him to show I liked the idea. "But first, you have to show me these powers that Rob spoke of."
I couldn't help it, and he laughed at the large smile that spread across my face.
"Oh really," I said coyly to him, pressing my index finger into his chest. "I'm tonight's entertainment then?"
He let out an even louder laugh at that point. We seemed to be on the same wavelength, and it was quite obvious to him how playful this attitude was.
"So," I said to him while taking a small step backwards. "What's your preference? Brunette? Black? Hot pink?"
He gasped at me when my hair, which had been framing my face and lying across my shoulders and down my back loosely this evening, started to change colors to match my descriptions.
"Perhaps you prefer my hair up?" I asked him, and saw him watching in wonder as my hair lifted itself up onto my head in an elegant style while returning to its original blonde.
"That is amazing!" he exclaimed, staring at me with awe. "How do you do that?"
"This little thing?" I asked with a wave of dismissal while returning to my original hairstyle of the evening. "It's nothing, only a minor power."
"A minor power?" he asked, obviously not believing it was very minor.
"Yeah," I said before giving him a sly grin. "This is what you would call a major power."
I started floating up in front of him, spinning slowly in a circle. Now he was in total shock at what I was doing.
"You can fly?" he asked in a voice that showed he totally couldn't believe what was happening.
"Fly?" That was an interesting thought. Could I fly?
Landing back in front of him and giving it some thought I said "No, I can't fly, but I can definitely float. Exerting this power costs me some amount of energy. I can feel it kind of get used up. I might be able to soar for a short amount of time, but I don't think I could sustain holding myself in the air for very long. It seems to recharge pretty quickly when I don't use it, but not that quickly."
"Wow!" was all Mark could say. He looked like a young kid in a candy store. "That's still amazing!"
"Yeah," I agreed with him. "I'm telekinetic. I can move things around with my mind, like pushing myself off the ground, or other things." I had a sly smile on my face.
He let out an uncharacteristic gasp of fright when he realized his legs were no longer on the ground. I nearly dropped him back quickly because I didn't want to frighten him, but his startled expression turned into one of wonder as I slowly moved him around the small grassy area.
"And I thought you couldn't get any more amazing." He grinned at me, and my heart melted again.
"Is this how you won dodge ball?" he asked suddenly, eliciting a short laugh from me.
"No," I said still chuckling. "I never did anything to change the trajectory of the balls. But I do have some kind of precognition ability. I knew you were going to be throwing two balls at me at about the same moment you did."
"Like a spidey-sense" he said, not quite a question.
"That's a close description," I replied.
"What else can you do?" He asked with genuine excitement. I think that if he was reluctant about joining the team earlier, he probably didn't have quite the same feelings now.
"I can interface with computers somehow. Holding my hand close to a wire or other electronic device seems to let me manipulate it, but I haven't really had much of a chance to explore that one yet. That's pretty much it."
"Still," he said while wrapping his arms around my waist and gazing down into my eyes. "You're an amazing woman, and I'll be honored to be by your side."
We played around with my powers for nearly 45 minutes before I started feeling drained, after which he led me over to a bench near the edge of the overlook. Sitting down, I laid my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around mine. We watched the sun set across the valley, not speaking but just enjoying each other’s company.
"Nearly as beautiful as you?" Mark said when the sun had sunk behind the mountains on the far side and the shadows started to bathe us in darkness.
I smiled and looked up into his eyes. Without realizing it, our mouths met and for the first time in my life, I was kissing a boy! It was wonderful, it was more than I could have imagined, and it was short.
It wasn't a peck on the lips by any means, but Mark pulled back a bit sooner than I would have liked, leaving both of us wanting more. I was about to object, but then I realized that he didn't want to rush our relationship too quickly.
Mark was a perfect gentleman. After our shared kiss he drove me home and walked me to the door. Despite my desire to repeat what had happened earlier, he only gave my hand a kiss before he allowed me to enter my house.
Mom and Cami made me relate everything that had happened before they would let me go to bed, and I left them while they were still talking about what had happened. I was in such a blissful state that I was quickly asleep, even though it was hours earlier than I normally went to bed.
Chapter 8 - Where Art Thou, Justin
The next morning was completely different.
It started out okay. I had awakened feeling more refreshed than I had in a long time. I picked out a sundress to wear to school today. It was a nice shade of yellow that seemed to offset the color of my hair. Despite my love for pink, it felt oddly liberating to be wearing something that did not contain one iota of that color.
Everybody had left for the day already, and I was sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal when there was a knock on my front door.
When I looked through the peephole I saw Jill and Nikki on my front steps. After I had opened the front door, it was obvious that Nikki desperately wanted to talk about my date, but she waited for Jill to speak first.
"Good morning, Jaz," Jill said and gave me a reassuring smile. But her emotions hinted at something that I felt I didn't want to hear.
"What is it?" I asked her warily. Her smile dropped slightly.
"First, I want to apologize for not being there yesterday," she said with regret. "It was the first day off I've had since the week before you two started the Procedure. I was at home with my family and nobody informed me of what had happened until I returned last night."
"It's okay," I said, trying to keep her from feeling so regretful. "There were many people around to help me get through what Justin did, especially Mark."
Her smile returned at my mention of Mark's name. "I'm glad you're accepting your womanhood so easily. It'll be good to help you adjust."
It was my turn to smile now.
"Unfortunately," Jill continued, removing the smile from my face. "We will need to wait until later to discuss it. Right now A2 is being assigned a mission, and I need you to come with us."
I nodded at her. "I need five minutes to clean up my breakfast."
"Alright," she allowed. "I'll be in the car." She gestured at the black SUV in my driveway.
I stepped back inside the house and held the door open for Nikki, whom I knew wasn't going to drop the subject of last night's date so easily.
"So?" she asked while we walked back toward the kitchen.
"It was amazing!" I said, eliciting a small squeal from her. I quickly cleaned up from my breakfast and placed my dishes in the dishwasher while relating the evening once again. It seemed just as magical now as it was last night when I described it for my mom and Cami.
"He's joining the team?" Nikki asked in an incredulous tone as we stepped out the front door and headed for the SUV.
"That's what he said."
"You are so lucky, you know that! I'm going to be the only girl there without a boyfriend," she pouted.
"Don't forget Cary," I said, eliciting a small laugh from her.
We settled into the back seat of the SUV. Rob was driving and Jill was sitting in the passenger seat. We pulled out of my driveway and headed down the street. Jill and Rob were discussing something up front which left Nikki and I to continue our discussion.
We pulled up to another house about five minutes later and Rob got out and walked to the front door.
"Nikki, you stay in the middle," Jill said while turning to face us. "We need to teach these two how to be separated."
She chuckled, but when I saw Mark coming out with Rob, I was ready to push Nikki out of the way. She wouldn't let me though, and I watched helplessly as Mark got into the opposite door, leaving Nikki between us.
"Hi," he said. He obviously wasn't expecting to see me so early in the morning, and his face showed surprise.
"Hi," I returned. I was already melting because he was giving me that smile again.
"Please, get a room," Nikki said, laughing. Mark and I joined in and I even saw Jill give a chuckle.
There was a lot that I wanted to say to Mark, but it felt awkward with the others in the car, and we mostly sat in silence while Rob drove us to a small office complex. We pulled up in front of a building that looked abandoned and we parked next to three identical SUVs.
"Welcome to the command center," Jill said to us while we exited the car. "This is where we've been working while you three finish school. Now it will also serve as the central hub for the operation."
Inside, the building was much more modern, and far cleaner, than I expected it to be. We followed our two handlers inside and down a short hall to a conference room. I was surprised to see A1, the other team based at the Alpha Complex, and eight other people waiting for us in the conference room. Four of the people looked like another team, and the last four looked like they could be the other two sets of handlers. Jill, Nikki, Mark and I took seats next to Jay, our team leader who had already graduated and was living at the Alpha complex. He nodded at us while we took our seats, and I made sure I was sitting next to Mark this time. Rob stood at the front of the table.
"Welcome, everyone," he said with a smile. "I'm glad all of you could be here this morning. We don't want to waste time, so I will get right to the business of the day.”
He pressed a button on a remote that he was holding, and a screen behind him lit up. A picture of Justin was displayed.
"This is Justin Holmes," he explained. "Last week he went through the Procedure, which altered his brain chemistry. Dr. Young believes that the alterations can be handled with medication, but it has become apparent that Justin has not been taking this medication during the week."
I grimaced. We had been told that they had him on medication. I wondered how effective it would have been. Would he still be on the team if he had been taking it?
That led to another thought that made me feel guilty. I was happy he was no longer on the team, and I felt his replacement (who was sitting right next to me) was a much better team member. I squeezed his arm and he smiled back down at me.
"Consequently," Rob continued. "He is not thinking straight, and he has gone rogue."
"Are you serious?" a young Asian man said from the far end of the table. His black hair reached to the bottom of his neck and was streaked with strips of red. "Why?"
"We don't know for sure, Jonathon," Rob replied, providing a name to the new face. "What we do know is that he is in the city. Our goal is to find him, capture him by any means necessary, and return him to the Alpha Complex where Doctor Young's team can work with him to help him cope with the changes he has gone through."
"Capture only?" asked one of the handlers whom I didn't know. She looked like the thought of harming one of our own was very repulsive.
"Yes, capture only. Deadly force is not authorized on this mission. Justin is one of us. We want to keep him unharmed if at all possible. But we MUST capture him." Rob grimaced at that thought before continuing. "A2 is only available to help today, which makes today our best chance at finding him."
The young Asian spoke up again. "I still don't think A2 should be helping on this mission. They have not received any training. We have no idea how they will react."
Rob glared at him and then raised his hand in our direction. "Jay has undergone full training, and the other members of A2 will follow his lead. With the exception of Mark who is here only as an observer today, they have all gone through the skills labs, and they all have passed the psych exams with flying colors. They will perform their jobs."
"I still don't like it," Jonathon said while ignoring us completely.
"I understand," Rob said with a slight frown. "But they are here because they spent a week with Justin, and they know better than any of us how he thinks."
How he thinks? I definitely thought Rob got that one wrong. I didn't think anyone knew how Justin thought.
"More to the point," Rob said while gesturing at me this time. "A2 is here because we want Jaz to be here."
The handler sitting next to Jonathon snorted derisively at that statement. He was older than the rest of us if the streaks of gray in his black hair were any indication.
"Of course," he said. "We want to throw a mission at the prodigy as quickly as possible. She'll make it easy."
I was shocked at and resented his statement! Everyone I had met who was involved with Project Genesis had been very kind and courteous to me. I did not know what I had done to earn his disapproval. Mark also stiffened next to me and I had to give his arm another squeeze to prevent him from doing anything he would regret.
Jill stood up immediately to address him. "Jaz's involvement in this operation has nothing to do with her being a prodigy."
"Sure it does," the man countered. "You and Harris caught the lucky draw and now you want to show it off."
His use of 'it' to describe me was very degrading, and I felt myself become agitated.
Rob quickly spoke, trying to pull the meeting back into some form of order. "Like Agent Johnson said, Jasmine's skills in this operation are not the primary reason she is being included. Justin is fixated on her. Many times over the course of last week he showed romantic interest in her. On more than one occasion he had to be physically removed from her presence because of his actions toward her. He even tried to pull her out of the plane with him when he went rogue. Yesterday afternoon, he tried to kill her while she was attending school. Her presence alone in that classroom combined with her abilities prevented Justin from harming any other student or the teacher until reinforcements arrived.
"Jasmine's presence here is to help us reel him in. We believe he is here in the city for the sole purpose of killing or harming Jasmine in some way, like he attempted to do yesterday. Her presence will give us our best chance at finding him."
The handler seemed mollified at Rob's explanation and sat back in his seat. But I was agitated at the prospect of being the bait in this operation.
"Are there any other questions?" Rob asked. When no one ventured anything more he spoke again. "Good. Everyone will find their gear down the hall in the two changing rooms. Once everyone is geared we will meet back in here for the tactical briefing."
The handlers remained seated, and everyone else except Mark stood up and headed down the hall. I gave him a smile before exiting the room behind Nikki. He gave me a smile of encouragement and turned back toward Rob for his instructions for the operation.
Down the hall there were two rooms. The guys broke off and entered one of the rooms and I followed Nikki and the girls into the other. It turned out to be a makeshift locker room. There were a number of chairs scattered around the wall of the room, each with a large black container with one of our names printed on top. There was even a small shower stall and a toilet through a curtained partition on one wall of the room.
"How are you doing?" Theresa, a tall redhead who went by the codename of Fire, asked me when I found the container with my name on it between Nikki and her. Theresa was the team leader for A1.
"Fine," I replied with a smile that I didn't completely feel. "Searching for Justin is definitely the last thing I wanted to do today."
Theresa gave me a grim smile. It was obvious that she agreed with me. "It'll be okay, Jaz. Once we find him and get him back to the Complex the doctors will help stabilize him. He won't be trying to kill you anymore."
I returned her grim smile. I didn't think it would be that easy. I was happy that I had found Mark. I felt safe with him; even though I knew he would be defenseless against Justin until he completed the Procedure.
"The new guy is cute though," Theresa said, trying to change the subject and improve the mood of the room.
Without meaning to, the pang of jealousy that I felt slipped out into the room.
"Oh," Theresa exclaimed with understanding. "Sorry, Jaz, I didn't know he was taken. Besides, I still have Jay."
"What was that?" asked a brunette who was sitting on the other side of the room. Other than me, she was the shortest girl in the room. Like the rest of us, she was also gorgeous.
"Sorry," I told her apologetically. "I can project my feelings onto others and I'm still trying to learn to control it."
"Oh," she responded. "I remember how hard it can be the first couple of weeks. Don't worry. You'll get the hang of it."
She walked over to me and stuck out her hand. "My name is Stephanie, I'm on B2."
"Jasmine," I responded with a smile. Pointing at Nikki I continued the introductions. "This is Nikki."
Nikki stopped removing items from her container long enough to give her a small wave.
"It's nice to meet you, Jasmine. I've heard a lot about you, and it will be an honor to see you in action." She pointed at the other member of her team in the room. "That's Heather."
Heather looked up at her unexpected introduction, but instead of waving she gave me a malicious scowl that surprised me.
"You'll have to forgive her and the rest of my team," Stephanie explained. "Michael, our handler, is not exactly a fan of Agent Harris. My team members can't seem to get past his discrimination of you to see that you’re just another agent."
"I must admit, I don't like being considered a prodigy," I said truthfully. "I want to earn my praises, not get them because of some rating on a piece of paper."
Stephanie smiled at that and then turned back to Heather. "See, she's not a stuck-up bitch."
"Whatever," Heather replied, and continued to get ready.
"You two better get ready," Theresa interjected. She was the only team leader in the room, and I knew it would be a good idea to follow her advice. Stephanie nodded at her and returned to her container.
I looked at my own container. It was smooth all around, and there was no visible means of opening it. On the top was a picture of a hand, and experimentally pressing my hand to the picture caused the lid to pop open.
Inside was everything that I had picked out when we were doing the capture the flag exercise last week. I pulled out the white and pink Chameleon Tactical suit and set it on the chair. I then removed my dress and hung it on the hangar that was provided next to the chair. Not being prepared for this unexpected change in plans, I was grateful to find a sports bra in the container, so I replaced the lacy yellow one I was wearing before I stepped into the Tac suit. The accompanying boots soon followed.
Next I pulled out two smaller cases and a belt harness. I strapped the currently white harness around my waist and then turned my attention to the two smaller cases. They required my thumbprint to open, but inside each case were a small pistol and three ammo clips coated in the same material that gave my Chameleon suit its signature ability to change color.
Pulling the first gun out of its case I gave it an admiring glance before pulling out a clip and locking it into place. Once it was in my belt harness I took the two extra clips and slipped them into their designated area on the harness. I then repeated the steps with the second gun.
I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and turned to pull out the last piece of equipment from my container. The small eyeglass case opened to reveal the same thin pair of shades I had used last week, white with pink lenses. Slipping them over my eyes caused the now familiar HUD to become visible. I oddly felt happy about being back in what would become my regular combat uniform.
Then I placed the small cases back into the large container and closed it. Turning back to the others I noticed that they were all still strapping tools and weapons to their Tac suits. I hadn't realized how minimalistic I was with nothing more than my suit and two weapons.
Heather was the first to finish, and oddly enough she started laughing when she saw me for the first time. The others paused to see what she was laughing at.
"A Chameleon suit?" she asked and gave another small laugh.
"Yeah," I said in an irritated tone. "You have a problem with it?"
She laughed again at my response and then shook her head. "No, no, don't get me wrong. I'm sure you want to look pretty while you're out there, but that thing won't help you once the enemy sees you."
"And what makes you think that they will see me?" I asked her with a smug expression. She obviously didn't know what my powers were, just like I didn't know hers.
"How could they not with such a crazy color scheme. White and pink? Why don't you just shout at them?"
It clearly was an unorthodox color combination for combat armor, but it was just the default setting. It could be any color I wanted. I knew that the standard Tac suits that everyone else was wearing came in three different colors: black, green camouflage and a gray urban camouflage. Each of them was wearing black suits for this operation.
I just smiled at Heather before saying, "Well, this is only a default scheme. I'm very versatile."
I then switched the suit through a number of color combinations including some different camouflages before turning the suit entirely black.
"Is this better?" I asked her while changing my hair color to a deep black for emphasis. I saw her inhale sharply at that move through my black shades, and felt her surprise.
"Jaz is a stealth expert," Theresa stated.
"And she's really good at what she does," Nikki added.
"Whatever," Heather stated again before marching out of the room.
Stephanie laughed at her antics once she was out the door. "Wow Jaz, I haven't seen her that pissed off in a long time! You really showed her. Impressive power by the way."
"Thanks," I said with a smile while letting my hair change back to blonde. I decided to leave the suit black to match the others, and pulled my shades off my eyes and rested them on the top of my head.
The other girls finished getting ready and together we walked back to the conference room.
The guys were already in their seats when we entered, and I marveled at how it could take us longer than them to put on the same uniform. Was it just human nature that girls took so long to get ready?
I noticed that Jonathon, the other boy from B2, and Michael their handler smirked slightly when they saw me. Whether they had the same reaction as Heather about my Chameleon suit or if she had told them about it, I didn't know. I was the only one in the room wearing one.
I took my seat next to Mark and he leaned over to me.
"You look hot," he whispered into my ear, causing me to turn a shade of red that I didn't really want the members of B2 to see. But the compliment from him was worth the embarrassment.
"Wow, Rob," Michael started when we had taken our seats. "You certainly believe in her abilities, don't you? I can't believe you would force her into a stealth suit."
I glared at him. This was not the way I wanted to spend my first operation, having half the people battle over how superior or inferior I was. I wanted to reach out and slap him!
"No, Michael," Rob said from the seat he had taken at the head of the table. "She picked the suit herself and she proved that she could use it effectively. You keep talking about how much confidence I have in her. Well, I'll tell you why I do. She managed to get the flag in the Urban scenario during her powers lab on the first try.
"And," he continued, "She managed to do it without us capturing any of her movements on video except for a short two second window when she was in the flag room. So yes, I do have extreme confidence in her stealth abilities."
Michael's face had turned red, but not with embarrassment as mine had. I didn't know what kind of bad blood was going on between these two, but I didn't want to be in the middle of it. I sat quietly in my chair, watching the argument unfold with everyone else.
"Look," Rob said, once again trying to calm the mood that was developing in the room before Michael could say anything else. "You and I have a bad history, but my team does not need to pay for what happened between us. They are a good team and deserve respect, just as your team does. We were assigned to work together on this operation, and I sincerely hope we can put our differences aside at least long enough to accomplish our goal."
Michael was just as angry as his face implied, but he seemed to grudgingly accept that their argument was not helping us on the operation and he gave Rob a curt nod to indicate his willingness to continue.
"Okay then, shall we get started with the briefing?" Everyone was nodding their heads in readiness, and Rob turned back to the screen on the wall behind him.
"Like I said before, Justin has gone rogue and it is our mission to return him to Alpha Complex for medical treatment."
The screen changed from a picture of Justin to a satellite picture of the city. Two red squares outlined two different sections of the city map, a small one and a much larger one.
"We were able to track him to this warehouse district after his attack on the school yesterday," Rob said and the map zoomed in on the larger square. "We believe that he is living or staying in this area and A1 and B2 will start their search here."
The map then zoomed out before zooming in on the smaller red square, which turned out to be a single house. "A2 will start at this location. This is Justin's parents’ house where he was staying before he underwent the Procedure. I talked to his parents on Monday and they said he had not returned home. We do have a search warrant to allow us access to the house to make sure that is still the case. We don't expect him to be at his parents’ house and A2 will join the other teams at the warehouse after their search.
"Everyone's ammunition has been loaded with taser rounds for this operation. Use them if you can. Use whatever powers you deem necessary if they don't work. Remember that we are trying to keep a low profile here, so try not to let civilians see you using your powers and try to prevent collateral damage."
"What are his powers?" Michael asked.
"Powers," Rob repeated and the screen changed from the map to a file on Justin's information. "Justin can change the density of his body. He can make himself or parts of himself very dense, absorbing bullet impacts or providing a lot of force to a punch or kick. He can also lighten his body, allowing him to jump quite high. He also apparently has the ability to make his body intangible because he managed to leave the plane we were returning in by sinking through the floor and then floating lightly to the ground. Anything else he exhibits was not documented before he left the Complex."
"He's stronger now," I said.
"Stronger?" Rob asked, looking for more clarification.
"Yes," I replied. "It was much harder to hold him in place yesterday than it was when he confronted us at the pool last week. It was quite easy to hold him back from reaching Nikki at the pool. Yesterday it required enough of my concentration that I couldn't do anything else."
"He's stronger," Rob repeated to everyone in the room. "From that description I'm going to assume that it's physical, so be aware of that."
Rob looked down at his notes before continuing. "When he's been subdued, try to get him to the airport. We have a plane standing by to get him to Alpha Complex as quickly as we can. Any other questions?"
When nobody voiced a question Rob stood up. "Great, let's get to work. The sooner we get him back to Alpha Complex, the better. Tactical updates will be available through your HUD interfaces."
The rest of us stood up. I turned to Mark and saw the concern in his eyes.
"Jaz," he said before wrapping me in a big hug. "I just met you and I don't want to lose you. Be careful, okay?"
"I will," I replied while returning his hug.
"Rob said each of you has a camera in your glasses. I'll be watching."
I smiled at the thought that even if he couldn't be out there with us yet, at least he could see what was happening.
"Come on, Jaz," I heard Nikki say with urgency from the door. "We don't have all day to let you say goodbye."
"See you when we get back," I said to Mark and turned to follow Nikki and Jay out the door.
"I'll be here."
Justin's parents’ house turned out to be a nice-sized home located in a well-to-do neighborhood. Jay pulled the black SUV into the driveway.
"Anything?" he asked while turning toward where I was sitting in the backseat. He was aware of my ability to feel when people I know were around me. Each person’s feelings seemed to have their own “flavor” to them. Spending enough time around a person allowed me to start to recognize that person’s flavor, and after a while I could pick them out of a crowd without even seeing them. I had used this ability last Saturday when I was trying to find Nikki in the mall.
"No, I don't feel him," I said while frowning. "But I might not recognize him anymore."
"Well, it was worth a shot," he replied.
Jay then handed Nikki and me a small item that looked like a passport. "These are your identifications for this operation. Don't lose them."
I opened it up and found an official looking badge and ID card with my name on it. Both the card and the badge were emblazoned with "Department of Homeland Security."
At our confused looks Jay elaborated. "While we aren't technically agents, we do have identifications for each of the major government agencies: CIA, FBI, you get the idea. They are official and will hold up under investigation."
That was surprising, and Nikki and I gave each other a confused look as Jay exited the car. Nikki and I joined him and we walked to the front door. Jay had the warrant in his hand in case Justin's family did not co-operate.
I pulled my shades down over my eyes while we waited for someone to respond to the doorbell. Nikki had done the same but Jay left his own on his head to provide a more personal feeling to whoever opened the door.
After a short wait the door opened and a small girl around seven or eight was standing there looking at us. She bore a stark resemblance to Justin, and I felt myself tremble slightly at the thought of what he would do to us if anything happened to his family. We would need to be very careful if he was here.
"Hi," Jay said to her. She was apparently lost for words at the sight of us. We must have been intimidating. "Is your mommy or your daddy home?"
The little girl nodded her head shyly, sending her dark curly tresses bouncing. She turned and ran down a hall, leaving the door open in her wake.
"Mommy," I heard her say after she turned a corner. "There are people at the door for you."
The little girl returned a moment later, following a woman who must have been Justin's mom. She smiled at us while she approached, but I could feel her apprehension. I wanted to inform Jay, but there was no time before she opened the door fully and gave us a smile that she didn't really mean.
"Hi," she said cheerily. "How can I help you?"
"Ms. Holmes?" Jay asked. At her nod he continued. "My name is Agent Johnson and these are Agents Fox and Campbell."
She eyed us and the badge that Jay was showing her warily before speaking. "What can I do for you?"
"Is your son Justin home?" Jay said bluntly. The shot of fear she felt from the question didn't require my abilities to notice.
"No," she finally said. I was surprised to recognize that she was telling the truth. I wasn't quite sure how I knew, but she was. Something in the feelings she was portraying seemed to tell me so.
"All the same," Jay continued, clearly not fazed by the answer he expected to receive. "Would you mind if we had a look around to make sure?"
"Is he in some kind of trouble?" she asked.
"Ms. Holmes," Jay said without answering her question. "Have you seen your son since he left last week?"
"No," she repeated, but this time it was a lie. Whatever part of my power was telling me this, I felt it completely. Justin had been home.
"I'm sorry," Justin's mom said while taking a step back. She seemed frantic now. "But I don't have time for these questions right now."
She started to close the door, but Jay had his armored boot in the way. "I'm afraid that we have a warrant to search the premises," he said while showing her the new document. She nodded and opened the door, but her face had lost all of its color.
"Who else is in the home right now, Ms. Holmes?" Jay asked her while stepping into the house. Justin's mom retreated a few steps when we entered and hugged the little girl to her.
"Just my daughter and me," she replied. Her voice was very shaky and she looked very scared.
Jay nodded at her. "Please step outside with her and wait for us out front. We'll make this as quick as possible."
She nodded at him again and the two of them stepped outside and sat down on a chair on the porch.
Jay turned back to us, pulling his shades over his eyes. "Nikki, take upstairs, I'll check this floor. Jaz, you find the basement."
He pulled out his gun and turned to start the search.
"He's been here," I said, stopping Jay and Nikki in their tracks.
"How do you know?" Nikki asked.
"I'm not sure, but I am certain she was lying when she said she hadn't seen him. She did seem to be telling the truth about him not being here now though."
Jay nodded. "Okay. Move out, we'll ask her about it after we're done in here. Stay alert and radio the rest of us if you find anything."
Nikki and I both nodded at him and Nikki turned toward the staircase to our right that led up to the top floor, pulling out her own gun in the process.
I pulled one of mine out of its holster and followed Jay down the short hallway to the first door. Most of the houses in this area had a basement, but the way down was not visible from the main entrance.
Justin and I cleared out much of the first floor before we found the kitchen, where a set of stairs led down. Jay pointed at them and I broke off and headed down.
It was dark at the bottom. I flipped the switch at the bottom of the staircase, and it lit up a hall that ran the length of the basement. There were three doors off to each side.
I opened myself up to my surroundings, but I couldn't feel anyone else down here with me. Cautiously I started down the hall, with my gun leading the way. Even though I had no formal training in the use of the weapon, I had seen enough cop shows to know how to clear an area. The Urban exercise during powers lab also gave me the confidence to know that I could use it.
The first two doors I encountered were facing each other across the hall. I did not want to leave my back exposed to one of them, but I had no choice. Opening the door on the right I reached out with my mind. I knew it was a bathroom before I mentally grasped the light switch and turned on the light. It was empty. A quick glance around the small room proved that.
The door on the other side of the hall led to a den that seemed to run most of the length of the basement. The room was well furnished but just as empty as the bathroom had been.
The next pair of doors also faced each other across the hall. I knew the one on the left led back into the den I had already checked. The other door led to a small office that was also well appointed, but also empty of anything significant to my search.
The last two doors in the hallway were once again facing each other. The door on the right led into a bedroom. The yellow walls and frilly bedspread along with the vanity on one wall and the dirty clothes strewn about were enough to indicate that it belonged to a young girl, possibly even the one we had already met. However, she seemed too young to have a room in the basement, and I wondered how many siblings Justin had.
Turning my attention to the last door, I turned the knob and pushed the door open. I heard a small click. Nothing happened immediately and I stepped into the room. It was Justin's bedroom. I recognized many items in the room that seemed to indicate it was his. Lying on the bed were the clothes he had worn when he jumped out of the plane. It was also empty like the other rooms.
But something was different. The click I had heard wasn't natural. Looking back at the door I saw a small wire running down from the faceplate to the floor. Following it with my eyes, it led half way around the room to a computer, which was powered up. The computer beeped.
Walking over to it I placed my hand on the mouse and moved it. The dark screen leapt into life, asking for a password.
I reached out, trying to use the computer skills that I had only begun to develop. I was able to bypass the login and see the information stored on the computer, but I was not entirely sure how I did it. It took me nearly five minutes to find and understand what had happened. Amazed at my ability to operate and get information from the computer without even logging in, I found the small program that had started when I opened the door to Justin's room. I had set off a silent alarm, and it had relayed the message to a cell phone. A search of the records on the phone company's files showed me that it was Justin's!
He knew we were here!
Quickly accessing my HUD controls I opened the communications menu and found Jay and Nikki.
"He knows we're here," I said, not sure if my message would go through.
"How do you know?" Jay responded, answering my question in the process.
"I set off a silent alarm when I opened his bedroom door."
"Okay," Jay responded. "Everyone meet back at the front door."
Before I even had a chance to respond I heard a loud crash from upstairs. Stepping out of Justin's room I turned toward the stairs, but he was already racing down them.
"Jaz!" he roared as he rounded the corner at the bottom and stared down the hall at me. His anger was washing over me in intense waves.
He didn't give me a chance to respond; he just started racing toward me, with an evil look in his eye.
I didn't hesitate. Before he had taken two steps I raised my arm.
The recoil of my gun seemed to have an extra kick this time.
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I finally get to go back home. But being back home brings its own set of problems: the end of the school year, facing my family, and worry over what Justin will do next. I can only hope everything will turn out okay...
A Flower's Bloom |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 10 of this story contains an homage to Mass Effect, created by Bioware. Part of a backstory includes pieces similar to those written by their plot writers. I want to give them full credit for the ideas, as they are not mine, and thank them for making a wonderful game. No intent to harm or take credit for their work is intended here.
Chapter 9 - A Broken Stem
Two bullets struck Justin directly in the chest. But he was still coming straight at me. The taser rounds didn't seem to have any effect on him.
Scared to death at his oncoming rush, I did the only thing I could think of. I gathered all the strength I felt I could muster, and I pushed my telekinetic power at him.
Immediately, his direction changed. Instead of barreling toward me he was flying back down the hall the other way, arms and legs flailing, trying to catch himself. The shock on his face matched my own.
Justin slammed into the wall at the far end of the hallway, breaking through the drywall and smashing through most of the concrete foundation behind it.
I heard him groan, but before he had a chance to get back up Jay was there and blasted him with a spray of ice, freezing Justin in place in the wall.
"Whoa!" Nikki screamed when she entered the hall behind Jay. She then looked down the hall toward me, a look of shock and awe on her face.
I crossed the distance in the hall and joined Jay and Nikki in looking down at Justin. He was struggling, trying to get out of the ice that he was encased in.
When he saw me looking down at him, he stopped his struggle and smiled evilly at me.
"Impressive strength, Jaz," he sneered. "You would have been an excellent companion. It's really too bad that you have to die."
A vision sprang into my mind of Justin breaking the ice. Instinctively I stepped back just before his foot came smashing through the ice, passing directly through where I had just been standing!
But I was in shock at his ability to break out of the cage Jay had put him in. This shock prevented me from moving the second time, when his leg extended further, and he caught my right leg halfway between my knee and my foot.
The pain was immediate and excruciating! It felt like my leg had been hit by a truck. The crack that accompanied the hit left no doubt that he had broken my leg. I was in agony!
I heard Nikki's screams accompany my own while I fell to the floor. I'd never broken a bone before, and at the moment I was not able to imagine a worse pain.
Justin wasn't ready to stop there. Another kick and a few punches had him shattering the ice like it was paper. Even through the pain I realized that his hit on me and his shattering of the ice were the result of his greater density ability. He had only pretended to struggle until I got close.
He jumped up and took a step toward me, not even thinking about Jay or Nikki to his side. He lifted his foot and prepared to bring it down on my chest. I had no doubt that he would be able to crush all my vital organs in one blow.
Even through the pain I felt his tremendous hatred, and the great pleasure he felt when he started to bring his foot down on my chest.
In utter desperation I pushed back with everything I could, but it felt so weak. I was able to slow his foot but it still hit me with enough force to crack a rib, adding more to the excruciating pain I was already in.
A bright flash nearly blinded me; my shades had fallen off in the scuffle. But Nikki's blast had pushed Justin off of me and farther down the hall, something I would be forever grateful for.
"This isn't over," Justin sneered and I had to strain to see him from where he landed down the hall. He then jumped straight through the ceiling and I felt his presence moving away from the house.
"Watch her!" Jay screamed at Nikki and then took off up the stairs. I heard him pounding through the house and then he was out the front door.
"Are you okay?" Nikki cried frantically while dropping to her knees next to me.
"No!" I cried. Tears were streaming down my face now. "It hurts really bad!"
"Jaz, I'm so sorry! I should have blasted him earlier! I thought he was going to crush you when he stomped on your chest!" Tears were streaming out of her eyes too. She took my left hand in hers and held it. I pushed through the pain and tried to open my mind. I tried to feel my injuries in my chest, and it didn't feel like there was any bleeding. I knew I had a cracked rib.
"It's okay," I managed to reassure her through the pain. "I was able to stop his foot from doing any permanent damage, but he cracked a rib. My leg is killing me though."
"Oh Jaz," she sobbed, looking down at my leg. "It's broken!"
"I know," I whispered back.
Jay returned a few moments later.
"He just left," he was telling someone over the radio. "He was heading in the direction of the warehouse district. You might want to warn the other teams."
He was silent for a moment, listening to whoever was on the other end. "Jaz was injured," he eventually said.
After another quiet moment he continued. "Broken leg for sure. He also stomped on her chest when he was using his greater density power. I don't know how much damage that did."
He looked at me with worry while listening to the other end. I wish I still had my shades, because then I would know what was being said. I didn't know if the shades had the mic and the earphones or whatever allowed me to communicate with them, but it was the interface to listening in on the right channel.
"All right, we'll be waiting," he said and then ended the conversation. "Are you okay, Jaz?"
"Just a lot of pain," I said, gritting my teeth while trying to sit up.
"Don't get up!" he said frantically and tried to force me back down. "You could aggravate any internal injuries."
I laid back down at his insistence, but explained to him what I knew. "I think he just cracked a rib. I was able to slow his foot down quite a bit before he stomped on me. It's not nearly as painful as my leg."
He grimaced. "Nevertheless, lay here until the ambulance arrives. Let them check you out before moving, just in case."
I nodded slightly at him. I didn't have the strength to argue. Jay left us again to wait for the ambulance, leaving Nikki holding my hand and crying.
"It's okay, Nikki," I told her, but that just started her crying more.
We stayed there for nearly five minutes before I heard the sounds of an ambulance pulling up in front of the house. Shortly after that two EMTs appeared at the bottom of the stairs.
"Agent Campbell?" one of them asked me while kneeling down and taking a quick look at my leg. When he looked back up at my face I nodded at him. "Are you okay?" I nodded again. He returned his attention to my leg while his partner placed her bag down beside me and turned her attention toward my chest.
"I can't see anything with this suit on," the first medic said after a moment. "We're going to have to cut it off."
"No," I moaned at that thought. This was only the second time I had been given the chance to wear it, but I had already garnered an attachment to my suit. "I'm okay, really, no need to cut it off."
He frowned at me, obviously not agreeing with my statement. "We don't have a choice. They said you could have some internal injuries and we'll need to check for problems."
"I'm in pain, but I am okay," I stated again. "I'm pretty sure he only cracked one of my ribs. It's my leg that should be the priority."
He opened his mouth to argue with me but Jay took the opportunity to interject. "The suit is very resistant to cutting and tearing. You won't be able to cut it."
"Can we get it off?" the medic asked Jay.
"Yes, but we'll have to move her to undo it."
The medic sat back on his heels and sighed. He obviously didn't like that option with the injuries that I could have.
"Jay," I said in an even tone. He looked me straight in the eye. I tried to project as much confidence at him as I could when I spoke. "I'm okay."
He nodded at me, hearing my words for the first time.
"All right," he said while turning to the medic. "She'll be fine until we get her to the hospital. Can you get a gurney down here for her?"
"She's NOT fine, sir," the medic told him. I saw the same thought in the face of the woman at my side. She obviously agreed with her partner.
"Yes she is," Jay repeated. "Because I have confidence in her understanding of her injuries. I will assume responsibility for anything that happens by moving her. Please get a gurney."
The medic stared at Jay for a moment trying to decide if he could risk moving me. Finally he decided that it was better to get the gurney, and he went back up the stairs.
"Are you sure you're okay?" the other medic spoke for the first time. Her tone was skeptical, but I felt her feelings improve when I grinned slightly at her and nodded my head.
The first medic arrived with the gurney, pulled a brace off the top and knelt beside me again. Without a word he managed to wrap my leg in the brace, keeping it straight. He then slid an orange plastic board under me, moving me as little as he could. He and his partner then lifted me up and placed me on the gurney, pulling the board out from under me when I was in place.
"Alright," he said. "I'm trusting you, but I don't like it."
"I appreciate that," Jay said and then stepped aside to allow them to wheel me to the end of the hall where they lifted the gurney up the stairs. I was then wheeled back through the house to the front door and out onto the front porch.
As I was wheeled through the door, I noticed that it had been smashed to pieces. Outside Justin's mom was sobbing hard, holding her daughter tightly to her chest. The little girl was crying too. When she saw me another wave of sobs racked her before she stood up and stepped toward me.
"Are you alright?" she asked, the mascara running down her face told me just how much crying she had been doing.
"I'll be fine," I told her with a slight smile.
"I'm sorry," she said and I could feel that she really meant it. "I don't know what's wrong with him. He's been acting so strangely since he came home from that place."
"I know," I told her and reached out to take her hand. The medics stopped pushing the gurney and looked impatiently at me. "The Procedure altered his brain slightly; nothing that some medication can't help with. We just need to find some way to convince him of that."
She continued sobbing while nodding her head at me. I felt so sorry for her at that moment. I didn't know what Justin was like before the Procedure, but his actions since he returned would have been hard for any parent to endure.
"He'll be fine," I told her with a smile. She squeezed my hand and then let go. The medics continued pushing me down the drive and loaded me into the back of the ambulance.
"Female, approximately 20, broken leg and possible internal injuries in the abdomen."
The medic passed me off to a doctor in the ER.
"Cracked rib, broken leg," I stated to the doctor. She actually looked a lot like my mom, which made me feel better in her care. Her brown hair and caring eyes looked down at me, but she seemed skeptical of my diagnosis, just like the EMT had been.
"So she says," the medic said with a sigh. "She's your problem now. Good luck."
He gave us both a small smile and then exited the ER. The doctor turned her attention back to me. Nikki and Jay were forced to take the SUV here. I was desperately wishing they would arrive, because I didn't know what to do or say.
"All the same," the doctor said to me. "We need to get some x-rays done to be sure."
I nodded at her and she turned her attention to my injuries. "We're going to have to cut this suit off to get a look at the injuries. You work in law enforcement?"
I sighed, not knowing how much information I could give away. I couldn't deny my activities; the two guns still strapped around my waist were a dead giveaway. Where was Jay? They were supposed to be right behind me! My leg hurt a lot, and now I didn’t know what to tell the doctor.
"Yes," I finally replied. She looked nervous when I reached up to the small pouch on my belt and pulled out the badge Jay had given me earlier. I gave it to her.
She opened it and looked surprised at the information within. "Agent Jasmine Campbell, of the Department of Homeland Security. What exactly do you do, Agent Campbell?"
"Um…" I could kill Jay about now! Why would he send me off alone without any instructions? Surely he knew they would be asking questions. "It's classified?" I hadn't meant it to, but the last bit sounded more like a question than a statement.
"Jaz!" I heard Nikki say from behind me, and I saw her and Jay entering the ER. Thank heavens!
"Doctor?" Jay said to get her attention. She looked uncomfortable almost immediately when she realized that they were both wearing tactical suits and their own guns. Jay stretched out his hand. "My name is Jay Johnson. I'm Jaz's commanding officer."
She shook his hand before speaking. "Dr. Amanda Wright - pleased to meet you. We need to get her out of this suit to get some x-rays."
He nodded. "The suit can't be cut. We're going to have to take it off. I also spoke with one of our medical officers on the way here. She'll be here shortly to oversee her care. In the meantime she asked that you set the bone in the leg, but don't worry about pinning it."
"I'm more worried about the possibility of internal injuries," the doctor stated. She clearly wasn’t happy at the thought that someone else would be overseeing her work.
"You're sure it's only a cracked rib?" Jay asked me.
I nodded. "I checked."
That was enough for him to understand how I knew. He knew of my ability to see my surroundings through whatever power helped me use my telekinesis. It was possible that I couldn't detect the damage, or didn't know what to look for, but I didn't think that was the case.
He nodded back to me and then turned to the doctor. "If you show us to a private room, Agent Fox can help her out of the suit. She'll need a hospital gown or something else to wear."
The doctor was distinctly unhappy now. Her job was to diagnose my injuries, but we were telling her exactly what they were. She didn't like that. "We still need to check for other injuries."
"Yes," Jay agreed. "But she is stable enough to take off the suit. Once it is off and safely stored you can run any tests that you want."
The doctor looked more satisfied with Jay’s agreement. She probably thought that the suit was quite expensive and we didn't want it to get damaged. When she saw the situation in that way she could understand it.
"Ok, follow me." She started pushing the gurney I was on down a short hall and into an exam room. She then pulled the blinds closed while Nikki and Jay followed us in. "You can change in here. I'll go get a gown."
She stepped back outside and closed the door behind her.
"Nikki," Jay said. I looked at Nikki and saw that she was still crying. Clearly she blamed herself for my chest injuries, and nothing I had told her seemed to help her think otherwise. She looked up at Jay.
"Nikki," Jay said again. "It's not your fault. Jaz is going to be fine."
She nodded at him, but I could still feel the pain and agony that she felt inside. She did feel responsible. I reached out to her and tried to impress upon her my thanks and happiness. Once she felt this she quickly turned back to me and tensed up.
"Don't you dare mess with my feelings, Jaz!" she said to me sternly.
"Then listen to us," I responded, taking her hand in mine. "I'm not fine but I am alive. You saved my life by knocking him off of me. For that I will always be in your debt. Thank you."
Her emotions took a jolt at my words. She seemed to consider for the first time since it had happened that I would be okay. An understanding that she wasn't to blame crept into her. She just nodded at me, but her tears stopped.
"Nikki," Jay said one more time. "Help her get out of the Tac suit. Jill will be here shortly with the storage box and we need to get her leg set."
Nikki nodded at him and he smiled at the two of us and then left the room to give me my privacy.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Nikki asked me when he had closed the door.
"Yes," I told her, trying to keep the smile on my face. The pain in my leg was still very intense and it was hard to keep it calm for her sake.
"Okay." Nikki seemed to accept my answer and started helping me take off the suit.
She unbuckled my holster and removed it. After she had placed it carefully on a chair she turned back to me and helped me sit up. I only winced slightly. The suit had a zipper in the back under a small flap of the Chameleon material, and she was able to unzip it down to the bottom of my back. She then helped me pull my arms out of the suit and we pulled it off the top of my body.
This next part was going to be painful, and we both knew it. Nikki hesitated, not quite sure how to pull my leg out of the suit without causing me more pain or further injuring my leg.
"It's okay," I told her. "I think I can hold my leg together with my powers while you pull the suit off."
She nodded and then started pulling the suit down my back. I pushed myself up with my arms to allow her to pull the suit down past my bottom and then she walked to the end of the gurney.
"Are you ready?" she asked me. I answered with a nod and gritted my teeth.
Reaching out through the pain I held my leg telekinetically and tried to help keep it in the same position it was currently in. Nikki removed the brace and then started pulling on my suit. It hurt, but Nikki had the suit off quickly and I was left laying there in only my underwear, exhausted with the effort I had exerted.
A knock on the door signaled Dr. Wright's return. Nikki let her in and the first thing she did was replace the brace. She then helped Nikki wrap me in the hospital gown she had brought. I was happy to see it was pink.
Over the next couple of hours the doctor took x-rays, ran some tests, and eventually set my leg before returning me to a recovery room where Nikki, Jay, and Jill were waiting for me.
"You were right," Dr. Wright told me when I had been moved to the bed. "You have one cracked rib, another bruised rib, and a clean break of the tibia. The fibula seems to still be intact. Our surgeon wants to put a pin in the leg and get it in a cast, but Agent Johnson thinks that isn't necessary."
If looks could kill, the look Dr. Wright was giving to Jill would have done the job. But Jill did not want Dr. Wright to perform the medical procedures she normally performed, and I didn’t know why.
"I'll be back shortly and we can decide on the next step," she said before exiting the room and closing the door.
"How are you feeling, Jaz?" Jill asked me almost immediately.
"Okay," I replied.
"Good," she told me with a smile. "Ready to fix these bones?"
"Huh?" I asked, not understanding what she meant.
Jay answered my question. "Like Rob, Jill has an ability. She can heal with her touch."
I was awestruck at that information! "Then why am I in the emergency room?"
"I'm not a doctor," Jill told me. "I needed to know what your injuries were before I could heal them, and we needed them to line up your leg bone. Shall we get started?"
I just nodded. She then stepped over to my leg and placed her hand right over the break. I winced at the pain that it caused, but then I saw a small green glow coming from her hand, and the pain eased almost immediately.
When she removed her hand the pain was nearly gone, and my leg almost felt normal! Jill smiled at my wide eyes and then pulled my gown up over my chest, causing Jay to stiffen and turn away from me quickly.
"Sorry," I heard him say while Jill placed her hand over where my injured ribs were. I felt the same pain and then the wonderful feeling as the pain disappeared.
"There," Jill said while pulling my robe back down to protect my modesty. "Good as new. Your leg will probably ache for the next couple of days, but you should be okay to walk, or even dance on it."
Her grin lit up my face when I thought of dancing. I had forgotten that the End of Year Gala was on Saturday! The thought of the Gala led me to an even more urgent need.
"Where's Mark?" I asked expectantly.
Jill's smile grew even wider when she realized I knew what she was talking about. Apparently she approved of our relationship.
"Rob made him stay back at Headquarters," Jill told me. "He felt the last thing you needed right now was a hysterical boyfriend. Once we get you discharged we'll head over there so you can see him."
"Let's go then," the urgency in my voice made her laugh. It was pretty obvious how stricken I was with him and I felt that Nikki and Jill were going to tease me endlessly about it.
"Alright," Jill said. "Step one is to get you on your feet and into some clothes then. Jay?"
Jay turned to her and a knowing look crossed his face as he nodded. "Right, I'll be outside."
After he had exited the room Jill pulled out my sundress, sandals, and the bra I had left behind when we changed for the operation. I smiled at the familiar clothing.
I sat up from the bed and gingerly lifted my right leg. It was slightly sore, but the excruciating pain I had felt before was non-existent. It was absolutely amazing how fast the pain had disappeared!
I slowly swung my legs off the bed and stood up. The pain was very small and I took a few experimental steps to increase my confidence that the leg could support my weight. Nikki and Jill stood by smiling at me until I was ready for the next step.
Nikki handed me my bra and I pulled off the hospital gown and the sports bra I had been wearing and replaced it with the lacy number that matched my panties.
I then slipped the dress Jill was holding over my head and felt happy to be back in my own clothes.
"Ready to go?" Jill asked me.
"Yes," I told her, hardly able to keep her from seeing my anxiousness to see Mark again. He would have been watching us through the cameras and would have seen everything. I was pretty sure he must be in agony right now.
"Alright," Jill said while starting for the door. "Let's find Dr. Wright and get your release papers processed then."
She opened the door, and our search was complete. Dr. Wright had been about to knock.
"What are you doing standing!" she practically screamed when she saw me. "Get back on the bed!"
Jill tried to calm her down. "Don't worry - her leg has been healed. We're ready to sign her release papers."
The doctor just looked at Jill like she was crazy, obviously not buying for a minute the explanation that my leg had been repaired. But I was standing on it with no apparent pain, and that was something that would not have been possible if my leg was still broken.
"How?" she asked, understanding for the first time that we weren't exactly normal government agents.
"I would like to tell you, but I'm afraid that information is classified," Jill told her with regret.
Dr. Wright nodded, but it was obvious she wanted more information than we could give her. "Alright, follow me then."
She led us over to a nursing station where she helped us fill out the forms that were required to release me from the hospital. Within ten minutes we were on our way back to see Mark.
Chapter 10 - A Prick of the Thorn
When we pulled into the parking lot at the temporary headquarters I was surprised to see the other SUV's already there.
"Did they get him?" I asked anyone in the car.
"No," Jay said in a frustrated tone. "He got away."
I felt like crying. I just wanted this Justin business to be over. I wanted my life to continue without the threat that he brought to it.
Nikki reached over and gave me a hug.
"It'll be okay," she said. I didn't know if I had accidently projected my feelings or if she just knew me that well, but it was exactly what I needed at the time.
Her hug was quickly replaced by another when I finally exited the vehicle. I didn't even see Mark before he had me wrapped up in a bear of a hug.
"I'm so glad your okay," he whispered into my ear while he held me. "I was so worried."
"I'm okay," was all I managed to reply before I found myself sobbing in his arms.
I vaguely remembered Jill saying something about coming in for a debriefing, and I did my best to reign in my tears. But I knew my eyes were still red and puffy and there was no doubt that I had been crying when we entered the briefing room and took a seat.
I noticed that nearly every member of B2 was smirking at my condition. Only Stephanie had a concerned look on her face while she watched Mark pull my chair out for me.
"Well," Rob said after Mark had taken his own seat. "Not exactly the best start to the operation. You're okay, Jaz?"
I wasn't really happy about being put on the spot, especially when it was obvious that I had been crying. I just nodded my head.
"Despite two encounters, Justin remains at large," Rob's face looked grim at this announcement. I did not know that he had been engaged a second time. Rob turned to Jay, "What happened at his parents' house?"
"Justin had rigged his room with a silent alarm." Jay responded. "When Jaz opened the door it sent him a message, and he came quickly. Jaz had barely told us that she had tripped the alarm before he came barreling in the front door and after her."
"The alarm had been going for about five minutes when I realized what it was," I interrupted with a grim look.
"How do you know?" Jay asked me. He didn't look happy about learning this new bit of information.
"When I opened the door, I heard a click. It took me about five minutes to track the wire coming from the door to the computer and then access the computer to find out what it was doing."
"You should have mentioned the click over the comm immediately," Rob told me sternly.
"I know," I said while dropping my head in shame.
"So your stealth expert gets caught by the first silent alarm she encountered," Michael said from the other end of the table. He chuckled at my misfortune and all the other members of B2, other than Stephanie, smiled.
Whether it was because I was tired, because of everything I had gone through, or because I had just had enough of his demeaning attitude toward me, I totally lost it.
"Look!" I practically screamed at him while standing up. I knew that my rage was being projected throughout the room and I saw a number of people recoil from me. "I'm not experienced! I know I need training! I'm sick of you using me to put down, Agent Harris! I'm not a prodigy! I'm just a new recruit who needs training! Any score I've been given on paper has nothing to do with my abilities until I receive that training! Lay off your ‘holier than thou’ attitude and try to work with us as a team!"
I backed down on projecting my rage, but I immediately felt his rage coming my way. Before he had a chance to say anything, Jonothon was on his feet. His rage was turning his face about the same color as the tips of his hair.
"Don't you dare talk that way to us!" he screamed while lifting his arm toward me. Instantly I "felt" he was going to shoot me with something, and the second I saw some kind of projectile leave his hand I pushed it back at him with all the force I could muster. It smashed into his chest and he went flying backwards into the wall, his Tac suit stopping any major damage but not able to completely absorb the impact of the small object I had hurled back at him.
"Stop it!" Rob yelled. He was standing up and glaring at me when I turned to look at him. I knew I was in big trouble, but I didn't care.
Jonothon jumped back up; even while clutching his chest it was apparent he wanted to continue the fight. Perhaps the only reason he didn't attack again was because of the hand Michael laid on his shoulder.
"You've gone too far, Agent Campbell!" Michael yelled at me with a dark, sinister look.
"By protecting myself from his attack?" I screamed back.
"Jaz, sit down!" Rob yelled at me and Mark actually pulled me back down into my chair.
"I'm reporting this incident, Rob," Michael told him. "She'll be out of the program in no time."
"Good!" Rob replied. "Go ahead and report the incident. I think most of the individuals in this room saw your own team leader attack first. We'll see who gets kicked out of the program."
Michael looked around the table. It was obvious through the eyes of the A1 and A2 teams, and even in Stephanie's, that he would not win this battle.
"We're done," he said while standing up. "B2, let's go."
Everyone in the room looked shocked at that announcement, but Jonothon, Heather, and the other guy from B2 I had not been introduced to got up and followed him out of the room.
"I'm sorry," Stephanie said while standing up herself. "I wish I could stay and help."
"It's okay, Stephanie," Jill said to her softly. "It's not your fault."
Stephanie gave us a quick smile and then followed after her teammates.
After we heard their SUV take off Rob turned on me again.
"What were you thinking?" I had never seen him look so mad.
I felt myself sobbing again when I replied. "I'm sorry, but I don't have any training yet. I wasn't even thinking about stealth when I opened that door."
"You still should never confront another team's handler that way!" he continued to yell at me.
"I said I was sorry!" My sobbing wasn't dying down at all. "I was just so sick of him comparing me to my Procedure rating! I'm not a prodigy and I was sick of him treating me that way!"
"That still gave you no right..."
"Quit yelling at her, Rob!" Jill interrupted him with a silencing glare. "We had a major injury on our team today! Our emotions are going to be running high. Don't take it out on her!"
Rob stared at Jill, then nodded and sat back down in his seat.
"I'm sorry," he stated in a much softer tone. "We never should have agreed to work with B2. There's too much bad blood there."
"What happened between you two?" Theresa asked him. Everyone was looking for that answer.
"I can't give all of the specifics," Rob said as he frowned. "We were working together on a mission to capture a VIP who was taking cover in an oil refinery. We split up and then suddenly the whole refinery was being blown to bits. Michael blamed me for blowing his cover which he said required him to blow the refinery."
"Did you?" Rock asked him.
"No," Rob said. "But the blast killed a lot of innocent people. Michael is all about getting the mission completed. How he accomplishes the goal is often not the best way for those around him."
"What do we do now?" Jay asked, bringing us back to the subject at hand.
"There's not much we can do," Rob said. "We have both the warehouse and Justin's parents’ house under surveillance, but it's unlikely he will return to either. A1 will be on call in case we spot him, and we may have you try and sweep the city tomorrow. A2 is off duty until after you graduate. Jaz is right. You need training before we give you another assignment."
"I can still help with the search," Jay told Rob, who nodded.
"Agreed - you've had the training and we could use the help." He looked slightly happier now. "In the meantime I think everyone can use some rest. It's been an emotion-filled day for all of us. Nikki, if you want to change out of your Tac suit we can give Jaz, Mark, and you a ride home."
Nikki nodded and stood up before walking out the door and down the hall to the changing room.
After being dropped off in front of my house, I realized that I wanted nothing more than to crash on my bed. I felt like I could sleep for days.
Unfortunately, Mom was home and she did not look pleased with me.
"The school called," she said when I walked in the front door. I sighed knowing where this was probably going. "They said you missed classes today."
My mom got this call from the school often, but it was almost always because of my brothers.
"I'm sorry," I told her. "Jill came by this morning. She had a mission for us."
The explanation mollified her slightly, but she seemed even more apprehensive about my absence. "A mission? Doing what?"
"Looking for Justin."
She seemed to relax at that thought. I realized then that she was worried about me. I was still her child and she probably didn't like the idea of the harm my new job could put me in.
"Did you find him?" she asked.
"It was more like he found us," I said grimly. Something in the way I said it seemed to shoot warning signals her way, and her concern truly grew.
"What happened?" she asked softly, though she seemed hesitant to know the answer.
I couldn't help it - I started crying again. This whole day had been so emotionally charged that I couldn't escape it any more than I could the previous times.
"Oh!" Mom was startled at my reaction, but immediately wrapped me in a loving hug. "It's okay, you're fine now."
Her words made me cry even harder. She couldn't possibly know how fine I was not.
"I'm not fine, Mom." I told her while sobbing. "He wants me dead. He broke my leg and he broke one of my ribs when he stomped on my chest today."
I had not wanted to tell her that information and I was surprised that I had blurted it. I felt my mother’s horror at what had happened to me.
"But..." she started, not understanding what I had just told her. "You seem fine."
"Physically I’m fine," I said. My crying was starting to wane but my mom still held me in her comforting hug. "Jill was able to heal the damage."
"Is there anything I can do?" she asked me.
"No," was the only thing I could say.
Despite my answer she did do something for me, something that I desperately needed from her at that moment. She held me in that hug.
"It'll be okay, honey," she whispered in my ear while rocking me back and forth slightly. I loved my mom so much at that moment, and I didn't want her to ever let go of me.
Eventually she did though. She looked me in my eyes, and I realized that for the first time in my life she truly saw me. She finally understood why I went through what I did. She gave me a bright, understanding smile for the first time since I had come home.
"Why don't you go lie down for a while. I'll make dinner."
"Ok," I replied and turned toward my room. Within a minute of lying down on my bed, I was asleep, exhausted after the day's events.
Chapter 11 - A Weed in the Garden
Mom awakened me around seven o'clock that evening. My family was eating a late dinner and she wanted to know if I wanted to join them.
I agreed and got out of bed to follow her, pausing shortly in front of my mirror to check my hair and makeup, which of course were perfect because of my power.
My family was already eating when I walked into the kitchen. I got a plate and filled it up before joining them at the dining room table.
Mom and Dad stared at me while I took my seat, and I saw the sadness in their eyes. They were realizing that they could no longer protect me the way they used to because of my new powers and what I was going to be doing for a living.
"Are you doing okay?" my dad asked me, the concern very evident in his voice.
"I will be," I replied softly. I didn't really want to talk about the issue anymore.
Ben sat oblivious to this change, but Cami immediately sat up as she realized that something was wrong.
"What's wrong?" she asked while dropping her fork, showing more concern and worry than my parents had.
"Nothing," I told her. I was afraid that talking about it would cause me to cry again. But the response was obviously not what she wanted to hear.
"Don't you dare start leaving me out of your life! We just got to know each other!"
It was too much - the feelings I had struggled with all day, combined with the sadness I felt about not confiding in my sister. Tears streamed down my face again while I struggled to eat the food hanging on my fork.
"I'm so sorry," my sister said immediately. She got up and walked around the table to give me a hug. The hug definitely felt better, but it also made me cry even more because of the love and support that my family had shown me since I came home.
"I love you guys!" I cried, returning my sister's hug. She squeezed me tighter to let me know she felt the same way.
After I had cried myself out again we returned to eating, and nobody mentioned what had happened today or what was wrong. I was soon back in my room after getting ready for bed early, and wearing a short, lacy pink nightie I drifted off to sleep once again.
A loud crash awoke me. It was still dark outside and a quick glance at my alarm clock showed me it was two in the morning.
Despite the tiredness I had felt after the events during the day I was wide awake because of adrenaline pumping through my system. Someone was in the house!
I immediately jumped out of my bed and I swung open my bedroom door, where I found my dad coming out of his room.
"Stay in your room!" he loudly whispered to me.
But that was something I couldn't do. I shook my head, and he seemed to understand that I was better equipped to handle whoever had come through the plate glass door from the back patio.
Running down the hall I rounded the corner into the kitchen. The dining room on the far side is where the door to the patio was located. Shards of glass were all over the floor, and my worst nightmare was crouched right in the middle of them.
The gleam in his eyes had a malevolent tinge to it. He slowly raised himself from the crouch he had been in, glaring at me with a murderous intent I did not want to deal with when my family was nearby.
"Dad," I said softly but clearly, knowing that he was standing directly behind me. "Get my phone and call Jill. Tell her that Justin's here."
Justin's mouth broke into a nefarious grin at my words, and the hint of teeth behind the smile made him look more sinister than I had ever seen before. He laughed loudly.
"They can't help you, Jaz," he told me. "You and your family will be dead before any of them can arrive."
The fear I felt at having him here in my home, in the one place I thought was safe, was compounded by the fear I felt at his threat to my family. My fear intensified tenfold when I saw my brother Adam slowly ascending the stairs behind Justin. I knew my brother, and I knew that he was going to try to take Justin down. That was something that I could NOT let happen! Adam would never stand a chance against him!
Justin saw me look away, and he spun around at the same time Adam leaped for him.
Although I gasped, I was already in motion. Instead of stepping straight into the high kick that Justin was in the middle of, Adam slammed into the wall behind where he had been standing. I felt bad about pushing him out of the way so roughly, but I couldn't let him be a part of this fight.
Justin then went flying back out the shattered door and onto our patio. I didn't want him causing any more damage inside the house.
I quickly ran to the patio door, bypassing the sharded glass to the best of my ability. Justin was getting back up when I stepped out onto the patio. His fury had only increased with my attempts to fight back.
"This is your own fault, Jaz!" he screamed at me. "Your family would have lived through this if you had not visited mine! They have nothing to do with this!"
"We were only looking for you, Justin!" I yelled back at him. I was hoping that I could talk some sense into him but I doubted he would listen. "It doesn't have to be this way. We can help you."
He just screamed and charged straight at me. I knew that if I stepped to the side he would be running back into the house, and directly toward my family, who had gathered behind me. I could not permit that!
Instead of allowing him to run right through me I was able to "push" him at the last second with my powers, turning him slightly to the side. His surprise at the new trajectory prevented him from seeing the kick I placed straight into his chest.
I was afraid that my kick would feel like I was hitting a concrete wall if he had increased the density of his body. To help counter his power I enhanced my kick with as much telekinetic energy that I could create.
My short nighty rose while I twirled into the kick. But despite any embarrassment I felt at flashing my panties to my family, I landed the kick solidly on his chest. He had increased the density of his body, but the telekinetic energy surrounding my leg absorbed the extra impact, protecting my leg from breaking and extending the power of my kick.
I heard my family gasp behind me when Justin fell backward, clutching his chest. He was having difficulty breathing. I hoped that I had cracked a rib to make up for what he had done to me this morning, but I didn't think I would be that lucky.
"Don't do this, Justin!" I yelled at him while he struggled to catch his breath. I took a step toward him, ready to do anything needed to protect my family.
He struggled to his knees, gasping the entire time.
"You'll pay for that!" he wheezed. Clearly he wasn't going to back down. He stared up at me, obviously trying to figure out what to try next while struggling to get enough air into his lungs to attempt whatever he came up with.
For the first time during our encounters I felt a different emotion from him. He was concerned! He was starting to realize that I wasn't the weakling that he believed me to be. I could fight back.
I decided to try a new tactic. Maybe I could calm him down enough to reason with him. I opened up to Justin, and I tried to send him soothing and calming feelings. It even looked like it was working.
"I can help you, Justin," I told him softly, adding a small bit of love to the emotional cocktail I was sending his way.
That was a mistake. Justin had been calming down, and the tactic seemed to be working. But once he felt love from me, he became enraged. With a loud roar he jumped to his feet, quickly narrowing the gap between us and swinging at me with a punch.
I felt time slow down around me like it had when I entered the flag room back at the Complex. I was receiving so much sensory input from my new powers that I could analyze everything so fast that it seemed like slow motion.
It was easy to dodge right to avoid his first punch, and my own fist enhanced with my own telekinetic abilities swung around and caught him on his right cheek.
Although I was physically weaker than either Nikki or Justin, I still had a lot of power to my punches. Between my enhanced body and my telekinetic powers, my punch was strong enough to cause Justin to step back, hand to his bloody mouth.
He raged even more at the sight of his own blood and doubled his efforts. Despite the power I was able to put into my punches, I knew they were no match for Justin's punches. One shot from him could kill me.
We melded into a fluid fight. I did my best to avoid his fists, and he did his best to land them. I knew that we both could keep this up for a while and that I wasn't going to be able to tire him out easily. But I hoped to buy enough time for the others to arrive and help me.
I was doing well. I'd managed to punch or kick him back a couple of times, but they were generally ineffective. He'd fall back slightly but then come on harder because of the slight pain I had inflicted. We'd been circling each other for nearly five minutes before it happened.
I saw an opening, and felt that I should take it. As I brought my leg around to land the kick, I sensed the trap I had fallen into. I immediately knew that his leg was coming around, and that I needed to get out of the way. But I was off center. My leg was in the air and I had no way to step away from it.
I braced myself, trying to push against his leg to slow the kick much like I had when he stomped on me earlier that morning. I could only hope that I had slowed it enough.
His kick connected with my side. This time it was not strong enough to break a rib, but the pain was nearly as excruciating.
I collapsed to my knees, clutching my side. But Justin wasn't finished. I knew that a second kick was coming straight for my head.
"Jaz!" Mom screamed from behind me. Her worry made me realize that they would be next if I let Justin get the upper hand!
I knew that I would not be able to stop his kick, and it was probably too late to try to slow it down. But I had another option. I pushed out with my mind, and I heard Justin swear when his other leg went flying out from underneath him. It wasn't enough to stop the kick, but his loss of balance meant that I significantly reduced the power of his kick, and I was able to absorb the impact with my shoulder instead of taking a direct hit to my head.
He did not cause any permanent damage to me when his foot connected with my shoulder, but he seemed to twist his other ankle when he came crashing down on top of me.
I pushed him off of me, struggling to get up to meet any more attacks. But he was struggling nearly as much as I was. Attempting to stand on his hurt ankle nearly caused him to collapse again, and instead of turning back toward me for a second attack he turned and hobbled through our back fence. He was slowly retreating, but it was a retreat. My family was safe for the time being.
"Jaz!" I heard someone scream a second before I was wrapped in a tight hug that shot pain throughout my shoulder.
I winced, and I moaned slightly, because my sister let go immediately. "I'm sorry!"
I smiled at her before returning her hug. "It's okay - it just surprised me."
Mom and Dad were next, wrapping me in hugs while trying to prevent squeezing my shoulder. They now knew that they could no longer protect me, and the dangers I faced were immense. I returned their hugs, projecting how much I loved and cared for them. I didn't want them to worry as much as they were.
"You need to go change," Mom whispered to me when she let go of her hug. I had forgotten that I was still in my nightie. As I looked down I saw that it had been torn on the right side, and from a certain angle my bare breast was visible through the tear.
I turned red immediately, and hoped that my dad and my brothers hadn't seen anything I didn't want them to see.
I nodded to my mom. While clutching the tear closed I headed for the steps back into the house. I could still feel Justin slowly moving away, and I was pretty sure we were safe for the time being.
My brothers were staring at me when I passed back into the house, and I was suddenly nervous that they had seen through the tear.
"That was awesome!" Ben said to me while I stepped back around the shards of glass. "You're like a ninja!"
I just smiled at him. If my brothers had seen my breast, it wasn't what they were focused on. Adam smiled at me, nodding agreement with Ben. He looked disappointed that he didn't get to help, but it appeared he realized now that it wasn't a fight he was going to win.
"Well," I heard Adam say while I closed the door to my room. "I think that proves that she really is a girl."
I blushed furiously when I heard Ben laugh.
Rob, Jill, Jay, the A1 team and Nikki had all arrived while I was changing into black yoga pants and a pink tee. My family was filling them in on what had happened when I walked into the living room.
"She was amazing!" I heard my sister saying. She blushed when she realized that I had heard her. She was also beaming with pride at what I had done. I just smiled at her.
"Are you okay, Jaz?" Nikki asked me. She stood up from where she had been sitting and gave me a quick hug.
"Yeah," I replied after she had let go. I took a seat between her and Cami on one of the couches. "I've got a bruise on my shoulder and side, but nothing like this morning."
Cami and my parents winced at the reminder of what I had gone through yesterday. Mom must have filled Cami in after I had gone to bed.
"I can take care of the bruising if you'd like," Jill told me, and I nodded at her.
"Before we separate," Rob interrupted before we could stand up. He looked at me and my parents when he spoke. "I just wanted to let you know that we will be watching your house round the clock. If Justin returns, there will be at least one of us here to confront him, even if Jaz is not home."
"Thank you," I told him. I didn't need my powers to explain to him just how grateful I was. I knew that he could see it in my eyes.
Rob started talking to my parents about the details while Jill, Nikki, and my sister followed me back to my room.
"How are you doing, Jaz?" Jill asked when we were alone. I knew that she was asking as my therapist now.
"I'm tired but fine," I told her weakly. "I just never thought he would show up here."
"We should have anticipated this move, especially after this morning. I'm sorry we weren't able to get here faster."
I smiled at her to alleviate the guilt that she was feeling. "It wasn't your fault, and I'm glad that I learned I can hold him off, for the most part."
She smiled back at me. I felt some of her guilt dissipate, but it didn't go away completely. "Take off your shirt and let's see what we can do about those bruises."
I pulled my shirt over my head. Even after nearly two weeks I still felt slightly uncomfortable standing there in front of them while only wearing a bra. I wondered if I would ever get used to doing so, but then realized that most women probably have the same apprehension.
"It doesn't look too bad," Jill said after examining my shoulder and side. She then placed one of her hands over both locations and the green glow was washing over my wounds once again.
"Wow!" my sister gasped when Jill had removed her hands. The bruises had still been forming, but they had been visible. Now I had clear skin. I could understand her amazement at seeing Jill's powers at work.
"Thank you, Jill," I told her while putting my shirt back on.
She smiled. "You're welcome. I think you guys need to get some sleep if you’re going to do well on your finals."
Finals - just great. If I hadn't had enough to worry about already, I now had to start my finals. Did I ever mention how much I hate tests?
Chapter 12 - Finals Bloom
When my alarm went off the next morning, I really, really wanted to hit the snooze button. I wasn't ready for the first day of finals, but they were waiting for me anyway.
I managed to drag myself out of bed and get ready for the morning. Wearing dark jeans and a beautiful red top, I walked into the kitchen where my mom had made french toast for breakfast.
It was odd to see the plastic tarp covering the area where the sliding glass door to the patio had been, but at least the glass had been cleaned up. It also reinforced the point that I would have to be alert at all times until Justin was caught.
"Morning, honey," Mom said while putting two slices of french toast on a plate for me. "Sleep well?"
I chuckled in response, and the smile on her face was enough to let me know that she was trying to cheer me up. It worked.
"I'm sorry about last night, Mom," I said. "I never thought that going through this would put you guys at risk."
"It's not your fault, honey," she replied. "We don't blame you for last night."
I was happy to hear her say that, and I took a seat and enjoyed the wonderful breakfast she had made.
Once I had finished eating and walked out the front door I found Theresa climbing out of a van on the other side of the cul-de-sac from my house. She smiled at me while we both approached my car that was parked on the road.
"How are you doing?" she asked.
"Good," I replied. "Your turn for watch duty?"
She nodded, making her red hair look like it was on fire. "I'm on until noon."
"Thank you for doing this. I didn't think that going through the Procedure would put my family in a situation like this."
She frowned before she replied. "I know what you mean. I would hate to have my family targeted like yours was last night."
"I'm just glad I was able to hold him off."
She nodded her head again. "You're much more powerful than you think you are, Jaz. I wouldn't want to get into a fight with you. When you’ve completed your training and your powers are fully developed, you will be a formidable opponent."
I smiled slightly, even if I totally didn't believe her. "Thanks," I told her.
"Anyway," she said. "I just wanted to wish you luck on your finals."
"Ugh," I sighed. "I just wish they were over."
She smiled at my distress and let me get in the car. I waved at her while backing out and driving away.
Nikki felt about the same way I did - she was not looking forward to any of her finals. I had picked her up on the way into school, and we both were wishing we could drive somewhere else.
"I'll see you at lunch," she told me when we had walked in the doors. I nodded to her and started walking down the hall to my first class.
The school spread the finals across four days. Each day was a half-day class for one of the four periods usually held that day. Today I had to take my math and biology finals. Tomorrow I would take my English and French finals, Monday I would have my P.E. and history finals, and Tuesday I would finish with my photography and computer science finals.
I was worried about how to explain my presence in the computer science class. I no longer looked like the typical student who took those types of classes, but I had been taking them since my sophomore year. It was the one class that I had not yet attended. We never went to our final period because of Justin's attack at school on Tuesday. Now I would be showing up for the first time to take the final.
I didn't know it when I walked into Mr. Compton's math class, but I was going to learn another lesson about being a girl.
Immediately I could feel the hatred and jealousy in the room, and it was directed straight at me. I nearly panicked, but a quick check revealed that Justin was not in the room.
Instead, I realized that these feelings were coming from Susan. Just great, the last thing I wanted to do was piss off the head cheerleader and have to worry about it for the last week of school.
Susan was staring daggers at me while I crossed the room toward my desk. I didn't know what she was so mad about, but there was no denying that she was very, very upset with me. Maybe I had messed up the status quo in same way. I had heard that can be a very bad thing for a high school girl to do. But I couldn't think of anything that I had done.
She wasn't in my French class, so she probably wasn't mad about Justin barging in there. She was probably glad to get out of school early. In fact, nobody seemed to be blaming me for the incident. I realized that this was my first time back to school since then, but nobody was looking at me any differently. Granted, I hadn't seen anyone from my French class yet though.
"Hi," I said to her with a smile while sliding into my seat next to her. I even tried to send her positive emotions, but it didn't seem to phase her mood. She continued to glare at me while I sat there. I think she was trying to intimidate me with her look, but it was more annoying than anything else.
"Something wrong?" I asked her innocently. Her scowl only deepened.
"Oh, you know what you did. Don't try to play innocent with me." Her statement just confused me even more. What could I have possibly done?
We now had a small audience watching what was happening. Mr. Compton had not yet entered the classroom, and everyone could feel the tension in the air.
I gave her a slight frown, "I'm sorry, but I honestly don't know what I did to make you mad at me." Her face turned red, and her anger spiked even higher. That was obviously the wrong thing to say.
"I know you're new here, Jaz," she said in a calm voice that belied her true feelings. "But you can't just move into a new territory and expect to take someone's guy without a fight."
Ohhhh! She was mad about Mark and me! As I began to think about it, I realized that there were rumors around school before I left for the Procedure that she was hoping to get Mark to ask her to the Gala. I had inadvertently put myself into a very dicey situation.
"Well, I'm not going to apologize for that." I was on a roll, because that was also the wrong thing to say, even if it was the truth. She stood up, and she was going to do something about it, but Mr. Compton entered, and Susan stopped immediately. I knew she wouldn't want to risk any type of detention. That would be bad for her reputation.
"This isn't over," she said to me while sitting back into her seat, and I knew she meant it.
Mr. Compton, oblivious to the tension the rest of us were feeling, got us all settled and ready for our final.
Fortunately as finals go, this first one was quite easy. Because I had access to all of the memories and information that I needed to understand how to solve the problems, it was just ‘busy work’ after that. If the rest of my classes were like this, I had a good shot at finishing the year strong.
I finished much earlier than my classmates, and Mr. Compton looked at me strangely when I walked up to his desk to hand him my test packet.
"Are you sure you don't want more time to go over your answers?" he asked me.
Shaking my head slightly I said, "No, I already double checked them. I don't think there's much more I can do with it."
I realized while walking back to my desk that I may have finished too early. While I knew that I didn't cheat, being able to answer the questions and double check the answers in the timeframe that I had done it in would be hard for a normal person to do. The only benefit I had on my side was that Mr. Compton did not have other scores upon which to base my performance. I hoped that I didn't cause any problems for myself, but I did feel that I could prove my ability if they questioned it.
After I returned to my desk, I pulled my biology book and notes out of my bag and reviewed them for my next final after lunch.
When the bell rang I calmly replaced my book and notes back in my bag and stood up to leave. I was worried about Susan, but she rushed out of the room quickly. Whatever she planned to do, it would be outside of the classroom. Once out the door I was even more relieved to see that she was nowhere in sight.
Nikki and I were sitting together in the cafeteria. Her history final was much like my math final had been. She also had a photographic memory, and answers to questions popped into her head before she even finished reading the question. She was worried that her teachers would think she was cheating because of her increased ability, just as I was concerned.
We were sitting there discussing our mornings when a shadow fell over us. At first I flinched slightly because I thought that Susan may be finally making her move. However, I was more than happy to spot Mark standing above me.
With a broad smile he asked, "Is this seat taken?"
"Not at all," I replied, returning his smile while he sat down next to me. He leaned over and gave me a kiss, which I was hoping would last longer than etiquette would allow for a lunch-time cafeteria.
He quickly joined us in our conversation, and it was apparent that he wasn't having quite the success at his finals as we had been.
"I wish I'd already gone through the Procedure," he mentioned when he learned how easy our finals had been. "I struggled through my Spanish class. I couldn't seem to remember anything."
The advantage with having a Precog power, I realized moments later, was that reliance on it could sometimes be detrimental to those around me. Without even realizing what I had done, I found myself leaning into Mark quite a bit. If I hadn't done so, I probably would have been wearing the large piece of Jello that went flying past my shoulder, nearly hitting a shocked Nikki, and landing on a football player sitting at the next table.
Shocked, we all turned to see where it had come from. Two tables away sat Susan with a number of other cheerleaders. The rage on her face at missing me almost immediately turned to embarrassment when she realized the miss had caused her to hit Dave Larsen, the starting quarterback for the football team. He did not look pleased.
Susan rushed up to him with a couple of napkins, and tried to help him clean up the mess she had made.
"I'm so sorry!" she said over and over. Hitting the new girl was one thing, but hitting Dave Larsen was a blow to her reputation.
"What were you doing?!" he screamed back at her. Dave's family was pretty well off, and it looked like the clothes he was wearing were expensive.
"I'm sorry," she began to explain. "I was aiming for Jasmine," she glared at me. "But she moved at the last second!"
"Why were you throwing food at anyone?!" he screamed even louder.
"Because she..." Susan started, but it was apparent her answer would only seem catty to everyone looking on. "Just because!"
"Not good enough!" Dave retorted. "You better have a good excuse for causing me this dry cleaning bill!"
He stood there glaring at Susan. Susan was apparently at war with herself. It was obvious that her reputation was damaged more than she wanted, and telling Dave the real reason would only increase that. But not answering Dave could cause other problems for her.
"Well?" Dave asked after her silence continued for a number of seconds. "I'm waiting!"
"It's just that," Susan started before pausing again. "It's, well...she stole Mark from me!"
I actually heard Mark choke on his breath next to me before he was able to respond.
"What?!?" he said, clearly not agreeing with her.
"You were supposed to ask me to the Gala!" Susan turned on him. "Not this new tramp!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Mark said while standing up and placing his arms on my shoulder protectively. "Jaz is definitely not a tramp! And, why would you think I would ask you?"
The look on Susan's face at that moment was priceless, but being able to feel the emotions running through her at the same time truly made me feel sorry for her. She was clearly a jerk, but no one should have to feel embarrassed that way.
Without another word Susan turned on her heels and ran out of the cafeteria, leaving her fellow cheerleaders behind in shock.
I wanted to go find Susan and apologize to her. Nikki couldn't understand why I would want to go looking for her, and even after explaining what I had felt she still didn't quite understand. She refused to let me go look for her though, claiming that my own increasing reputation would be damaged. I didn't believe it would, and frankly I didn't care, but I relented. Nevertheless, I planned to stop by her house later.
The events during lunch did have a positive impact though. It reminded me that I still had to go shopping for a Gala dress, and Nikki was more than happy to accompany me later that evening.
I was happy to have Mark at my side throughout lunch and when he walked with Nikki and me to our biology final. I felt safe when he was around, even though I knew I could protect him more than he could protect me at the current time. It was a feeling that I had never felt before. But he felt so right I couldn't deny the attraction that we had for each other.
Thankfully - according to Nikki - we weren't acting like love-struck teenagers anymore. While our attraction was just as strong, she seemed to be happy that we didn't fall over each other every time we saw each other. I hadn't realized that we had been doing that.
We took our seats and Mr. Bailey started handing out the finals. As I sat there waiting for my copy of the exam, I remembered so clearly that the entire chain of events, including this whole ordeal with Justin, began because of a test in this class. I was now coming to the end. Hopefully the rest of the school year would go well and I could continue on with a normal life, albeit as a young woman now.
The good thing about this biology final was that Mr. Bailey knew all about us. He wouldn't be suspicious of our good grades like the other teachers might have been. He knew of our improved abilities, and perhaps he would vouch for us if problems arose.
Just like the math final this morning, I had no problem with the biology test. Everything I had learned before the Procedure was just as clear as the material I had reviewed this morning. My goal was to beat Nikki, and I managed to turn in my final five minutes before she was finished. I saw her frown when I stood up, and I could feel her defeat while I walked up to Mr. Bailey. Obviously, she'd had the same idea.
Mr. Bailey just smiled as I approached his desk. He seemed surprised that I had finished as quickly as I had, but he didn't seem to be as wary as my math teacher had been. He didn't say anything to me when I handed him my paper and returned to my seat.
I glanced over at Mark. He was struggling through his test. I knew that he was a smart guy, but he had confided to me that he hated taking tests. The added stress always seemed to make him forget things.
I sent soothing feelings his way, and I watched his face go from the contorted struggle I'd originally seen, to a more serene, thoughtful gaze. He glanced at me, and I smiled at him. He smiled back before his pencil started filling in the bubbles quickly. It was the least I could do for him.
I then pulled my book out of my bag and settled in to read for the rest of the school day. I had plenty of time.
"Thank you," Mark said just before he kissed me again. "I wish I could take you to all of my classes. That was the best test I've ever taken!"
"No problem," I said, laughing. "You looked so frustrated that I had to do something."
"I love you, Jaz," he said with a gleam in his eye.
I smiled. It wasn't the first time he'd said the words, but it still made my heart flutter. "I love you too, Mark."
"Please," Nikki interrupted us. "Get a room."
We chuckled, but more importantly, for her at least, we turned and continued to walk toward the parking lot.
"What are your plans for tonight?" I asked Mark. I'd love to hang out with him some more.
"I'm going with my dad to work on some real estate stuff," he replied, but he sounded sad about it now. He realized that I was offering him the chance to hang out more, and he would rather hang out with me than with his dad.
"Oh," I replied in a downcast tone.
"That's okay," Nikki interrupted. "We need to go dress shopping, remember?"
"Oh! I forgot about that!" I said again, but this one had a positive beat to it. Shopping for a dress would be fun.
Mark laughed at my renewed excitement. "I guess you'll be fine without me," he said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Okay," I replied, just before he gave me another kiss.
Chapter 13 - Adornments
"What about this one?" Nikki asked me while holding a dress in front of herself. The dress was light pink, and it was very pretty, but...
"My mom would never let me wear that," I told her. I might be new to being a girl, but I'd seen what Mom would let Cami wear, and this was definitely out.
"Why?" she asked.
"It's strapless!" I replied. "Even if my mom would let me wear something like that, I doubt I would even be prepared for it."
"But you like it," she said, reading my expression.
"Yeah," I said before smiling broadly. I did like the dress.
"Try it on," she said while pushing the dress at me.
"Nooooo!!" I immediately replied. No matter how much I liked the dress, I...I just couldn't wear it yet.
"Come on," she whined, trying to shove the dress into my arms again.
"No!" I stated firmly.
"Wow," Nikki said nearly an hour later. "I think that's the one."
"I think you're right," I told her. I was staring in awe at my image in the mirror just outside of the dressing room.
I was wearing a white dress. I had only put it on to humor Nikki, but now I was in love with it. I'd originally thought that it looked too much like something I would wear on my wedding day, but somehow it didn't look the same way once I had it on. The dress was fitted from the waist up, but hung loose from there down to just below my knees, showing off my new legs. It looked light and airy, but still managed to cover everything that shouldn't be on display.
There was only one way to describe it. It looked angelic.
However, the price tag was a completely different story. This dress was going to clean out the rest of the wardrobe fund that I had been given.
"It's expensive," I voiced my concern to Nikki. She grabbed the tag that was hanging near my left shoulder and looked at it.
"Wow!" she said. "Would your wardrobe funds cover it?"
"Just barely," I replied. The dress was beautiful, but I still didn't know if it was worth the cost.
"Get it," she said without any other thought. "You'll be grateful that you did later."
"Are you sure?" I wasn't completely convinced that spending that much money on one dress would ever be worth it.
"Yes," she replied before turning me around and pushing me back into the dressing room.
"What are we doing here?" Nikki asked incredulously when I arrived in front of Susan's house. I hadn't told Nikki about my plan to come by and make sure Susan was okay.
"I'm going to check on Susan," I told her while turning off the car and reaching for the door handle. "Are you going to come with me?"
"Jaz, no! She's a jerk, and she deserves this."
"No she doesn't, Nikki," I told her. "Nobody should ever feel the despair that she was feeling at lunch. Granted, it was probably about the wrong things, and she shouldn't care that much about her image, but nobody should ever feel that way. I won't let her suffer through that alone, not after I felt how much it hurt her."
"Please don't," she tried again, but she knew I wouldn't back down.
"I HAVE to do this, Nikki," I said. She looked at me for a moment before nodding and reaching for her own door.
Susan lived in a nice house. It wasn't luxurious by any means, but it was well-maintained and cared for. It was a lot like my own house. We climbed up the few stairs to her porch and I rang the doorbell.
I still wasn't sure what I was going to tell her, but I knew that I needed to do something.
The door opened, and a young girl peered up at us. She could have been seven or eight years old.
"Hi," I said when she just stared at us. "Is Susan home?"
The girl nodded before turning to run up the staircase that was next to the door. Nikki and I waited outside the front door. I assumed that she was going to get Susan, and I didn't want to invite myself in. I was already on her bad side. I didn't need to make it worse by coming in uninvited.
I "felt" the scowl on Susan's face before I ever saw her descending the stairs. I knew she wasn't going to be happy to see me.
"What do you want?" she said coldly when she reached our level. She stepped toward the door, and I knew it wouldn't take much for her to close it on us.
"I wanted to apologize," I told her. She recoiled slightly at those words. Her surprise was apparent on her face. She didn't expect me to apologize. I really didn't think I had done anything wrong, but I wanted to be the better person.
"Why?" she asked warily. I could feel her mistrust of me.
"Because," I replied. "I know how you feel, and nobody should ever have to feel that way. I'm sorry about Mark. I didn't plan to get involved with anyone."
She snorted. It seemed like she believed I had planned the whole thing from the beginning.
"Look," Nikki interrupted. "I don't like you, Susan. All I know is that Jaz feels bad about what happened at lunch. But she definitely didn't plan on falling in love with anyone. I've known her long enough to know that."
"Whatever," Susan said and stepped closer. She now had her hand on the door, and it looked like she was ready to close it.
"I'm sorry," I said again to stop her. "I've never felt this way about somebody before. I didn't mean to steal him from you - it just kind of happened."
Susan grimaced. "Thank you for stopping by," she said, and some of the hatred I had been feeling seemed to evaporate from around her. "I appreciate the attempt, but perhaps it would be best if we stayed away from each other until the end of the school year."
"If that's what you want," I told her.
"It is," she stated. "I'll let you have Mark, but please, stay away from me."
"Okay," I replied. I smiled at her. "I'm sorry, Susan. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."
"There isn't anything you can do," she said. "Please just go."
"Bye, Susan," I said, and she closed the door on us. I turned around and started heading back to my car.
"That went well," Nikki stated when we had pulled away from the curb.
"Yeah, it did," I replied sincerely.
"I was being sarcastic, Jaz," she smirked.
"I know," I said. "But it really did go well. She might not have shown it, but she was happy I came by. She doesn't hate me anymore. She doesn’t like me either, but I couldn't have asked for a better result."
"If you say so," Nikki said. Obviously, she hadn't been able to feel the shift in Susan's feelings.
"You went dress shopping without me?!" Cami exclaimed when she saw me carrying in the dress bag from my car. She'd been sitting in our front room, apparently waiting for me to come home.
"Um…" I replied. I seemed to be making everyone mad at me today. "Yes?"
My questioning response didn't go over very well with her. She was upset, and I knew why. She wanted to be a part of my life, and I hadn't included her. But the truth was she couldn't be a part of my life all the time. I needed her support, but I needed to be able to do things on my own too.
"I'm sorry, Cami," I told her. "We just stopped at the mall on the way home."
"Whatever," she said, before storming out of the room and down the hall toward her own room. I knew that she was crying before she ever got there.
I sighed. I'd dropped Nikki off at home not too long ago, but now I wished she was here. I was new to this girl thing, and I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do now. I felt that I should go talk to Cami about this, but once again I didn't know what to say.
I walked down the hall to my own room, and dropped the dress, wrapped in a protective sleeve, on my bed. Then I stepped back out and took the two steps required to reach Cami's door. I could hear her sobbing on the other side. I knocked lightly.
"Go away!" she screamed through the door. I sighed once again. This was the last thing I wanted to do to my sister.
I tried the doorknob, but she had locked the door. But it wasn't going to stop me. I "reached" out and unlocked the door with my powers. I hoped she wouldn't hate me for this.
"Cami?" I asked quietly after opening her door.
"I said go away!" she yelled back at me, and then threw a pillow at my head. I caught it and stepped over to where she had sunk down on her bed, and replaced the pillow where it belonged.
"I'm sorry," I told her again. I'd been saying that a lot lately, it seemed. "I was hoping to go out with Mark tonight, but he was busy. Nikki pulled me to the mall to take my mind off him. I..." I almost told her I had forgotten about her. That would have been the wrong thing to say, even if it was the truth.
"I didn't mean to leave you out," I said instead. That was also the truth. If I had remembered, I definitely would have invited her along.
"You promised you wouldn't leave me out!" she yelled at me, and softly hit me a couple of times. I let her vent her frustrations. She needed to let out the pent up emotions that she had been building while she waited for me to get home.
"I'm sorry," I told her again when she stopped and sunk back down onto her bed. I also wrapped her in a hug. "It won't ever happen again."
We sat there for a few more minutes. I poured love her way, letting her know that I cared for her while she worked to dry her tears. I'd made a big mistake, and I knew it. But I didn't want her to suffer for it.
Eventually, she sat up and looked at me. "I'm sorry," she said this time. "I know that I can't always go. I know that you won't be around a lot. But I really wanted to help you pick out your Gala dress."
"I know, Cami," I told her. "I wasn't thinking straight. Mark has my brain all scrambled, and I completely forgot to call you first."
"You've really fallen for him, huh?" she asked.
"Yeah," I sighed and sank down next to her on her bed. "I never expected to fall in love with someone so soon. But, he completes me somehow. The only time I feel safe anymore is when he's there. I know he couldn't do anything to protect me from Justin, but...I don't know. I've never felt this way before."
"Oh, Jaz," Cami said while she sank down next to me. "I wish I had someone like that."
"You'll find somebody, Cami," I told her. "I promise."
"Thanks, Jaz," she smiled back at me.
I was so happy to have my sister in my life.
Chapter 14 - Family Time
The following morning brought on another day of final exams. It started with an English final that was just like the other finals I had taken. I had never been able to remember all of the grammar rules before the Procedure. Now however, it was all second nature to me.
After the final, I was able to spend lunch with Mark. Nikki was there too, of course, but Mark was my main focus. I knew Nikki was upset with me for not paying as much attention to her, but I didn't care.
"Do you want to come over to my house this afternoon?" Mark asked me while he walked me to my French class. He was feeling nervous, and I guessed that either his family was asking about me, or he really wanted to introduce me to them.
"Sure," I said smiling, as I looked at him. He returned my smile with one of his own.
"My mom really wants to meet you," he explained, but he looked embarrassed about it.
"I'd like to meet your family," I smiled back, removing his unease.
"Thank you," he said. I just nodded.
When we reached my French class, I stopped suddenly outside the door. The last time I had been in that classroom, Justin had attacked me. I had no idea if the other students in my class would be upset if I went in.
"It's okay," Mark said. He knew me too well already. "It won't happen again."
"Maybe," I partially agreed. "But I still don't know what to tell the others."
"Don't tell them anything," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It really isn't any of their business."
"Mark!" I exclaimed. "Justin showed up with a gun and tried to kill me! I don't think they're going to be very happy about that!"
"Well," he said with a wry smile. "I'm sure you'll think of something then."
I laughed and hit him softly on the shoulder. He seemed to have a way of putting me at ease.
"I'll see you after school, okay?" he asked.
"Alright," I replied before turning and stepping into the classroom.
The wonderful feelings in the air instantly ended when I walked into the classroom. From the anticipation and love I felt from Mark, I promptly felt nervousness and fear as I entered my French class.
Most people were staring at me, and most of them weren't happy to see me. I doubted anyone blamed me for what happened, but it was obvious that they knew Justin had come for me. Apparently, some of them harbored ill feelings to the part I played in the scare that befell the class earlier in the week. I was a reminder of the terror they felt that day.
I decided to ignore the elephant in the room, and walked over to my desk and sat down. Nobody said anything to me and after the bell rang the teacher passed out our exams and the rest of the day was spent in silence.
"The sundress," Cami replied when I asked her if I should wear a white sundress with a pink floral design or jeans and a top over to meet Mark's family. I was nervous at the prospect of meeting his family, and I wanted to make a good impression.
"Are you sure?" I asked her. I honestly didn't have any idea what would be appropriate.
"Yes, definitely," she replied. "Hurry! Get changed."
"Yes, mistress," I teased her and stuck my tongue out before going back to my room and putting on the dress. She just laughed and went back to the show she was watching.
I'd told Mark that I needed to go home and change. He then agreed to pick me up, because I wanted to reciprocate the favor and introduce him to my own family. I didn't have much time before he would arrive.
I glanced into the mirror and changed my makeup slightly to better compliment the dress. Before I could do anything else, the doorbell rang.
I rushed out of my room, narrowly beating Cami to the front door. When I opened it, Mark was standing there, and my heart swooned again.
"Hi," I told him, giving him a large smile in the process.
"Hi," he replied, returning my smile.
"Come on in," I told him and stepped back to let him enter the door. He stepped inside and I turned toward the hallway leading out of the front room.
"Mom!" I yelled. "Mark is here!"
"Oh!" I heard a muffled reply from the kitchen, and then sounds of cookware moving around before she appeared in the doorway. Mark and I had left too quickly on Wednesday night for him to meet my mom, and she was excited to meet the boy who had captured my heart.
She walked into the room with a large smile on her face.
"Mom, this is Mark. Mark, my mom," I introduced them.
"Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Campbell," Mark said.
"Oh the pleasure is all mine," Mom replied, her smile turned into a sly grin as she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug. "I've heard so many good things. It's nice to finally meet you."
I didn't think it could happen, but Mark actually blushed at my mom's words! I smiled at his reaction.
"Your daughter is amazing," he was finally able to reply after a moment, but he turned and smiled at me the whole time.
Cami cleared her throat, and I turned toward her. "And this is my sister, Cami," I told him.
"Hi, Cami," Mark replied with another smile.
"Do I get a hug too?" she asked. The smile on her face was big, but I knew she was messing with him.
"Sure," Mark replied and then surprised her with a big bear hug. Her smile was even wider when he let her go, and I detected a bit of jealousy in her eyes when he let go.
Nobody else was home, but we talked for a bit to let everyone get to know each other better. Then we left to do the same thing at Mark's house, which would be followed by dinner. This time Mark was driving his truck, so I just lifted myself up with my powers so I didn’t have to worry about how to stay decent while climbing into the tall vehicle. Mark laughed at my move, but he still seemed impressed with my powers so he didn't say anything else.
I was nervous when we pulled into his driveway. I knew that his dad was angry at him, because Mark decided to undergo the Procedure instead of going to football camp and accepting a scholarship at a university that had expressed interest in him. His dad had been a football player in college and even played in the pros for a few years, and he had the same aspirations for Mark. I also knew that his dad was aware that I had been an influence in that decision, and I was afraid of what he would think about me.
"There's nothing to worry about," he told me as I awkwardly climbed down from his truck. Some of his neighbors were out in their yards so I couldn't use my powers to get down. "They'll love you as much as I do."
"I hope so," I replied as he took my hand and led me up the front porch to the door. His parents' house was much larger than my family's. Perhaps that was expected of someone who spent his entire day working with real estate, but it only served to intimidate me more.
Mark opened the door to reveal a spacious great room. Hardwood flooring ran the length of the small entryway to the kitchen that set off to the far left. A small dining area was immediately to our left and a large TV flanked by some very soft looking couches sat to our right. Further back was another small sitting area with some bookshelves, a stairway leading up to the second floor, and a hallway that led further into the house.
All activity in the room stopped as we entered. Mark's mom was cooking in the kitchen. A sister was helping her. Two younger boys, perhaps 12 and 10 years old, were playing video games in the small den area. Even Mark's father appeared from somewhere down the hall. It was immediately apparent that they had been expecting me.
They all quickly approached the entrance to the house, where I was nervously waiting for something to happen. They were all staring, and the emotions that were floating around in the air showed some of the shock and delight his family had at seeing me for the first time.
"Everyone," Mark finally spoke. "This is Jasmine. Jasmine, this is my family."
"Hello," I said and gave them a small wave.
"That's my mom, Laura," Mark pointed at his mother. "My sister, Katherine, my brothers Peter and Trent, and my dad, Christopher."
"She's so small!" the youngest brother, Trent said. His comment broke the ice and all of us began laughing. Sadly, it was true too. I knew I was small, but the fact that Mark's youngest brother was just as tall as me was somewhat annoying. Being small would certainly help me be stealthier, but I sometimes felt like my 5' stature was a disadvantage.
"She needs a stepladder just to kiss him," Katherine said, which kept us laughing. Despite the fact that their comments could be demeaning by themselves, I knew they weren't trying to be mean. I also knew that they had already signed their own confidentiality agreements, so I could do what I did next.
"Who needs a ladder?" I asked. The laughter quickly turned into gasps as I rose off the ground and planted a kiss on Mark's cheek. I knew I had made my point as I slowly lowered myself until my feet were back on the floor.
With the ice broken, I quickly learned that Mark had a wonderful family. His mother had been a model when she was younger, and still had the looks that had given her the opportunity. But she was very down to earth and had a wicked sense of humor that kept all of us laughing all night. It had obviously been passed down to her children, as they were just as quick to reciprocate. Katherine was a spitting image of her mother, and already had aspirations to follow in her footsteps. The two boys were already accomplished in more than one sport, just like Mark and their father. It appeared that they were as in love with me as Mark was. Mark's father was a very distinguished looking man. His dark hair had a hint of gray to it that showed his authority in the house, but it was apparent that he rarely had to ask his children to do anything that wasn't already expected of them. My own family was nowhere near as well-mannered as Mark's was.
Each of them gave me a warm welcome. Mark's father was a bit distant at first, and I could feel some resentment from him. But as the night wore on he started to warm up to me, and it seemed he realized why his son had given up the chance to play football. Even if he still felt like Mark was only doing this for a girl, it began to dawn on him how interesting the idea of gaining powers could be for anyone. They all certainly expressed an interest in having their own powers when I demonstrated some of what I could do.
After dinner we talked a lot about the Procedure. All of them were worried about what it meant for Mark, and I was happy to provide them with information about nearly everything I had undergone. By the time Mark and I left for the drive back to my home, they all seemed more at ease with Mark's decision to undergo the Procedure.
"You have a wonderful family," I told Mark as we stood outside the front door of my house, his truck idling in the driveway.
"I know," he replied smugly. "But yours isn't too shabby either."
I laughed and hit him softly on the chest. He retaliated by pulling me close and kissing me.
I didn't complain.
Chapter 15 - Flower Dance
Nikki and Cami were determined to give me the whole experience for the only school dance I would ever attend after the Procedure. Unbeknownst to me they had enlisted Jill, who seemed to have way too many contacts! The result was that we spent the morning getting what the three of them called "The Treatment" at a local beauty spa: hair, makeup, manicure, and pedicure. If it was offered then we had it done.
I still questioned the need to have my hair and makeup done, since I could easily recreate something spectacular using my powers. I knew I wasn't looking forward to the extra time it would take to remove the makeup and nail polish later this evening. But Nikki insisted that I needed to know how 'mere mortals' lived, and I was glad she did. By the time I returned to my house to finish getting ready I truly felt pampered.
Nikki had conveniently been asked to go to the End of Year Gala by one of Mark's friends, so we turned it into a double date. Nikki had returned to her house to finish getting dressed, because her mom insisted on being able to help her and take pictures. That left Cami and Mom to help me.
I had never expected to have an experience like this in my life! As the two of them finished helping me get into my dress, all I felt was their love and excitement. I couldn't help but return the feelings, and I felt myself tear up more than once. The school year was coming to an end too quickly, and with it came the approaching date of our return to the Alpha Complex. Jill had assured me that I would still be able to see my family often, but I knew that it wouldn't be often enough. I wanted to cherish moments like this.
When the doorbell rang my nervousness shot through the roof! Even though I fully trusted Mark I was nervous about what this night would have in store for me.
I knew that my dad was there to answer the door, and I hoped he went easy on Mark. Mom and Cami made me wait in the room for far too long, so that my dad got to know Mark before they would let me join him in the front room. But when I saw Mark's smile for the first time all of my nervousness evaporated.
"Hi Mark," I said after he couldn't find any words. "You clean up pretty well."
"Wow! You look like an angel," he finally found his voice. I smiled warmly and he came over and took my hand. "Are you ready to go?"
"Yes," I replied, unable to remove my gaze from his eyes. They were pulling me in just like they had all week.
"Not before pictures!" Mom interrupted quickly. She emphasized her point by snapping a photo. The flash broke me out of wherever I had been and I turned to pose with Mark for a bit. She took picture after picture so that I was beginning to wonder if I would ever make it out of the house. Then, when we finally made it outside and Mom saw that Nikki and her date were waiting in the limo, we had to start in on the group shots.
Eventually I was able to climb into the limo and it pulled away from my house.
"I'm exhausted!" I claimed, which caused the rest of them to laugh. Mom had certainly been more enthusiastic than any other time I had gone to a dance. I knew it had to do with everything that had happened to me over the last few weeks. She had only snapped a few shots of Adam and his date when they left this evening, but she had gone all out for me.
Before we went to the Gala we went to Mark's family restaurant for dinner. With four of us the setting was less romantic than the night I had been here alone with Mark, but the extra attention from Nikki and her date, George, didn't detract from the evening at all. In fact George turned out to be a great guy who could have easily been someone I could see myself with if Mark wasn't the focus of my existence.
After dinner, we returned to the limousine which whisked us away to the Gala, which was being held in the school gym. Yet it was hard to recognize the gym; so many decorations had been used to convert it into what could almost pass for an elegant ballroom. Somehow they had even hung some fake chandeliers from the ceiling to give it an air of opulence.
A hush spread around us as we arrived. As we moved through the crowd to find a table where we could place our purses and sit, everyone else looked at us silently and with a mixture of awe and apprehension. I felt bits and pieces of amazement and fear from everyone’s emotions, which confused me. It was apparent that the four of us looked really good together, but something had them on edge. I feared that Justin was around, but a quick glance around proved that we were safe from him for the time being.
It wasn't until after we had been dancing for a while and we returned to our table that I understood why everyone was afraid. I had just taken a seat when I felt her presence coming toward us.
"Hello Susan," I greeted her as she approached from behind me. I felt her mild shock that I was able to identify her without even turning around. Nevertheless she continued forward until she was standing next to me.
"That dress looks amazing on you, Jasmine," she said when I had turned around and stood up to confront her, which caused a mild shock of my own. I certainly hadn't been expecting a compliment from her! But her tone and her feelings told me that it truly was a compliment.
"Thank you," I replied, taking in what she was wearing. She too looked splendid in a red dress that bordered on being too sexy without crossing the line. I reckoned that Susan had a future as a model if she wanted it, based on how amazing she looked. I could even feel Mark and George "appreciating" her look too, much to my chagrin. "Wow, you look...wow!" The words escaped my lips, but the smile that spread across her face told me that she understood what I meant.
"I wanted to apologize," she continued, surprising me once more. "I was overly harsh when I found out that Mark had asked you to the Gala. I did some things that I regret. But I was really impressed with how much you cared about me. I got to thinking after you left my house the other day, and while I'm not entirely sure I can call you a friend, I want you to know that I have no ill will toward you anymore."
I stood there, mouth agape for a moment! I didn’t know how to respond to her genuine statements! I had known Susan for a long time, even if she still thought I was the new girl in the school. I had never seen her do anything like this before! The 'Queen' was not acting like herself!
I nodded, which seemed to be enough of a communication for her, and her smile actually widened. "Have a good evening," she said, before she grabbed the hand of the star basketball player and let him lead her back toward the dance floor. She looked back once more and smiled, and I returned my own smile just as genuinely.
The fear that had been wafting around the gymnasium all evening cleared up almost instantly as news of our reconciliation spread throughout the Gala. The confrontation that everyone had expected had not led to a cat fight or altercation, and everyone resumed enjoying the evening once more. I smiled to myself, grabbed Mark by the hand, and pulled him toward the dance floor.
The night was starting to wind down when I finally realized that I was tiring out Mark. The Procedure had left me with stamina much greater than his, but he was trying to keep up with me. Without a word I patted him on the shoulder and felt the gratitude that he returned as we started to make our way back toward the table, where Nikki and George were sitting. It had been a magical night. It felt like a Disney movie. Everything had been so perfect all night, and I couldn't imagine anything greater than spending the night in the arms of Mark. I cuddled into him as we walked, not wanting to leave the warmth of his embrace.
"Going somewhere, Jaz?" The question cut through everything I had been feeling and froze my heart immediately! I stopped walking instantly, and fear spread throughout the room like wildfire, no doubt spurred on by my own powers as I struggled to contain what I was feeling.
"Justin," I stated before I had even turned around. Slowly I turned in place until I was looking at the center of the room. The music abruptly stopped and the multitude of couples quickly retreated from the area, revealing the one person who epitomized my hatred in this world. Somehow, the area around him seemed to be lit better than the rest of the gym, highlighting his scowling features and letting everyone know that he shouldn't be messed with.
I took a step toward him. Mark held on, trying to prevent me from getting any closer.
"I see you've found a lover boy already," Justin stated, stabbing me with the fear that he would make a move against the defenseless Mark. I felt my jaw clench, as I promised myself that no harm would come to Mark or anyone else in this room tonight. I knew Nikki would already be on the phone with Jill, and I knew it was only a matter of time before reinforcements arrived. Theresa and Jay were waiting outside in case something like this happened, but it would still take them a few minutes before they would be able to provide any assistance. A lot could happen before they could help.
"Leave him alone," I growled at Justin, which only caused him to cackle.
"Oh, I assure you that I will do nothing of the sort," Justin said, with a glint in his eye which told me he was telling me the truth. "In fact, I think that I'll let you watch him die before I kill you."
I took another step forward. Mark tugged on my arm to prevent me from going once again. I broke free of his grip and pushed him back with my powers; Mark was sliding back toward the table and Nikki's safety while I continued to confront Justin. I didn't need Mark’s presence complicating things.
"Mark Williams," Justin commented as I approached him. "I must admit, I never saw that coming. Who would have thought that you would be so in love two weeks after you became a girl."
The horror I felt at his words shocked the onlookers and dampened the mood in the gymnasium even further. One of my worst fears was that my fellow students would find out the truth about me, and now Justin had told them! I took a step forward, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me once again. I didn't have to take my gaze away from Justin to know that Mark had rushed back toward me the moment I had stopped pushing him toward the table.
"That's right, Mark," Justin informed him. "You are dating Brett Campbell. You are dating another boy."
"You're wrong, Justin," Mark replied. "Jasmine is not a boy. She never was."
Confusion crossed Justin's face for a brief moment. It was obvious that he had expected Mark to recoil from me at finding out the truth. But Justin didn’t know that Mark already knew and didn't care. Nevertheless, the shock I felt from the other attendees of the Gala proved that the secret was out now. There was no way I could hide it anymore. Enough people had suspected, and now it had been confirmed!
"Mark," Justin continued. "I'm surprised. I never would have figured you had a thing for boys. I always thought that you were a jock." Justin pointed at me. "I guess that just goes to show that anyone can be corrupted by his influence now."
Blood rushed to my head. I knew I was turning red with rage, but I didn't care.
"I!" I screamed at him! "AM!" I yelled while balling my hands into fists! "A!" I shouted as I focused all of my willpower on Justin. "GIRL!"
The fear that engulfed Justin's face as I took hold of him with my telekinesis and threw him into the air gave me a pleasure that perhaps I shouldn't relish in. As he went up I could feel his weight lighten as he decreased his density, and I knew that he was worried about what I was going to do with him. But it was in vain.
I slammed Justin down head first into the middle of the basketball court, and even his own power wasn't enough to overcome the force of my power from knocking him out. A shockwave went flying throughout the room, followed by splinters and chunks of debris that had been kicked up by the crater that formed where Justin struck.
Anger and rage were still pouring from me when I noticed Theresa and Jay reach the edge of the crater. They looked at me with fear and awe for a moment before they turned their attention to securing the unconscious Justin to prevent him from escaping again. Their presence near him was the only thing that kept me from picking him up and slamming him down again; this time, with his power inactive, I would have likely killed him.
Only Mark's embrace was enough to break the rage I felt and bring me back to normal. Tears started to stream down my face as he hugged me tighter than he ever had before. I was a sobbing mess when I realized it was over. Justin was in custody. Mark was safe. No one else was hurt. True happiness started to creep in for the first time since the end of the Procedure. It was over.
But that happiness was short-lived as I realized that I now had to contend with my classmates knowing the truth about me. As I glanced around the room, I saw fear, revulsion, curiosity, and even hatred on the eyes of some of the other students and faculty in the room. I also felt these emotions pouring out of them.
Not even Mark's embrace was enough to keep the chill from engulfing my heart.
The dream started off like any other dream. Nothing of importance was happening. I don't remember what it was originally about, but I do remember finding myself walking out of a building and into a small shopping complex. The complex had a small lobby, surrounded on 3 sides by glass looking outside. There were only two stores off the lobby, Deseret Industries, and another LDS-related store, but I am not sure which.
I walked into the complex from the side, and passed Deseret Industries. There was a small line of people formed, I guess to get into the store, even though the doors were open. I waded through the people and continued walking towards the other store. I do not believe I intended to go into the store; it was more like I was heading home, but cutting through the complex to make it easier.
As I approached the entrance to the other store, I suddenly recognized 3 kids that were approaching me. The first one that I recognized was a little girl. It took me a moment to place her face, but I quickly realized that it was Cami, my sister. The other two were my brothers, but they were all younger, Cami being around 8, the rest an appropriate age. They had presents with them, and they hugged me as they said "Happy Birthday." I took the gifts from them and placed them on a wood shelf that was to the right of me, and gave them a hug. At some point I do remember patting Adam on the head and saying, "Thanks, son." Weird, but I felt compelled to mention it here as I write this account.
As my brothers and sister disappeared (I'm not sure how, they just weren't there anymore) I got a call from my mom. She wished me Happy Birthday as well, and eventually I asked how it was possible to see my family the way I had. She said Christina had done it somehow. I don't know who Christina is, or if I would have met or talked to her (I seemed to be turning to the left for some reason) because my alarm clock went off, and I woke up a bit, but I was left with a warm feeling inside.
I must not have completely woken up though. I do remember hitting the snooze button, and almost immediately, I was back where I had been moments before.
I continued walking towards the other store. I still had a nice warm feeling when I noticed a little girl come running out of the door to the store in front of me. She turned, and with a big smile on her face, ran toward me. "Mommy, mommy," she said loudly as she jumped into my arms and gave me a hug. I looked at her, and she was the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen. She had dark blonde hair, cut at about her neck, and the most expressive eyes I have ever seen.
She was staring at me with love as I tried to move her into a comfortable position on my hip. "I love you," I heard her say as I looked down to figure out why I could not hold her comfortably. I was surprised to see that I was pregnant, and definitely a woman. My large belly was keeping me from holding her comfortably, but her being there gave me a warmth that made it comfortable anyway.
The rest is a little hazy, as dreams can sometimes be, but I do remember feeling my dream self "smile" and kiss the little girls forehead. I then "felt" more than saw a man approach. He was radiating the same love that everyone else I had met in the dream was. Before I was able to look at him, however, my alarm clock woke me up, and this time I was not making it back to sleep. I did wake up with the same smile still on my lips and the same great warmth I had felt still in my heart.
And thus began the story of...
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Sarah Carerra
by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: September 28, 2009 |
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"In fact," he continued, pulling something out of his top drawer. "I'd like to offer you the chance to make a demo CD. You've got the type of voice that we're looking for."
I was completely shocked now! I wasn't good enough for a recording contract! Why would he be offering me one? And, and, he thought I was a girl! That could definitely be a problem! Sarah Carerra
Book 1 - I am a Rock Star by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: September 28, 2009 |
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"In fact," he continued, pulling something out of his top drawer. "I'd like to offer you the chance to make a demo CD. You've got the type of voice that we're looking for."
I was completely shocked now! I wasn't good enough for a recording contract! Why would he be offering me one? And, and, he thought I was a girl! That could definitely be a problem! Sarah Carerra
Sarah Carerra Chapter 1 - The Beginning by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: September 28, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Foreword:
I've been trying to get a sequel to A Flower's Bloom finished. I started writing it in earnest in April, and I have it about halfway completed. I think I will release it in two parts.
However, some of the autobiographical pieces have become harder to write because of some things that have happened this summer. They don't affect the story at all, but it is more difficult to try to get my thoughts down. I want to apologize to everyone that has been waiting for a sequel, and I promise it's still coming.
In the meantime, I had an idea that really intrigued me for a story. Since I needed a break from AFB2, I started writing it one Friday. A week later it was already half as long as the sequel to A Flower's Bloom.
I didn't expect to be writing a serial story, but I don't yet know where or when I wanted the story to end. I have many ideas and things that I want to incorporate before then, and we'll have to see where the story takes us. If you have any suggestions or ideas for things you would like to see happen in the story, please send them to the email address above.
I also want to thank JP for all the help he's provided me.
I hope you enjoy the story.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 1 - The Beginning
It all started at a party. Well, I guess it actually started years earlier, but we'll get to that later.
Anyway, there I was, at Johnny Crawford's party. It was a good party. He always had good parties, or so I had heard. Johnny's dad was a scout for a record label, and he always threw these parties for his son. He benefitted from the parties by having a karaoke machine that the kids would use, and he had found a few new talents this way.
I'd never been to one of Johnny's parties before, but my best friends Emily and Ethan had made sure to drag me along to this one. I really didn't have a desire to be there. I'd much rather be at home, playing on my computer or reading a book.
I was surprised at how many people were there. It was widely known that anyone who wanted to attend one of these parties was welcome. Johnny's dad would not let him exclude anyone. But it was also widely known that the parties were chaperoned. Johnny's dad was always there, listening for new talent. His presence usually kept the parties decent, and the undesirables almost never showed up.
I was amazed at the size of the place too. We lived in a nice section of L.A., but I think Johnny's family must have had the nicest home in the area. They had set up food and non-alcoholic drinks in one giant dining room, a large hall contained a DJ with a dance floor, and a small concert hall held the karaoke. They'd even opened both the indoor and outdoor pools.
My friends and I managed to get some food and something to drink, and decided to listen to the karaoke while we ate. Sitting down in one of the seats in the hall, we ate while we watched those willing to make fools of themselves while trying to sing along to the song. We laughed at those who weren't any good, and marveled at a couple who seemed to do very well. We were having a great time together.
"I bet you could sing as well as that girl, Brett," Emily told me after one of the better performers.
I smirked at the thought. I enjoyed singing, but I didn't think I was very good at it. "I don't know," I told her. I really didn't want to sing in front of Johnny's dad, let alone half the school.
"You can't be any worse than this guy," Ethan told me while we listened to a large guy who was way off tune. He looked to be in his late twenties, and I guessed the only reason he was at this mostly teen party was to be seen by Johnny's dad. Emily and I both laughed at his comment. The guy really wasn't doing well at all.
"I don't know, guys," I told them again.
"Come on," Emily said. "I dare you to do it."
She seemed pretty insistent for some reason, and I was overwhelmed at the pressure she seemed to be putting on me. She was giving me that puppy dog look that always got her dad to give her what she wanted. It usually worked on me too, unfortunately.
"I don't think so," I said, barely resisting her super powers. "I really don't want to make a fool of myself."
They both chuckled at my statement, but they didn't seem to buy into my reasoning.
"You're a very good singer," Emily started to say. Ethan was nodding his head in agreement. "Just give it a try; it won't be that bad."
I grimaced at their insistence. This was the last thing I wanted to do at the party. "Is this why you dragged me to the party?" I asked them. Their guilty looks were enough of an answer for me. I knew that something had to be going on. They'd never shown any interest in these parties before.
"Look," Emily took the lead in continuing their fight. "You're an excellent singer. You know you love it. We just thought you might have a chance to try it professionally. Give it a shot. If Johnny's dad is interested in you then great; otherwise you can go back to singing when we're alone."
I grimaced at her explanation. I certainly didn't think I was good enough to get a recording contract, so what made them think differently?
"I can't. I'm just not good enough for that."
The looks they were giving me told me that they thought otherwise. Other than my family, they were really the only ones that I had ever allowed to hear me sing. I just felt too self conscious to let anyone else hear me.
"Come on," Ethan said with some irritation. "You're better than you think you are. Just give it a shot."
"Yeah," Emily agreed. "In fact, if you get up there and sing, I will too."
I had to laugh at this new tactic. While Ethan was a fairly good singer, Emily was horrible, and she knew it. To be willing to stand up there and make a fool of herself, she really must have wanted me to sing.
"All right," I said, finally convinced to give it a try. "But I won't let you do that to yourself."
She laughed back at me, knowing her own limits, and started pulling me down towards the bottom of the hall. There was a DJ at the bottom who was running the Karaoke system. Emily walked up to him and whispered something into his ear.
"Are you sure?" he asked the two of us. Not knowing what she said, I could only look at Emily in askance. What was she planning now?
"Yeah, I'm sure," Emily said and then turned back towards me. "Just remember, do your best and don't worry about what everyone else thinks."
Uh oh, I was really worried now! She would only say something like that if there was the potential for embarrassment, more than my singing would cause anyway. Warily I asked, "What am I singing?"
"Don't worry", she said with a sly grin that I did not trust in the slightest. "You know the song."
With a final push from her I was climbing the stairs up to the stage. I stepped up to the microphone and waited for the music to start, worried more than ever about what song she picked for me.
Once the music started, I nearly freaked out and jumped right off the stage! I knew what Emily was doing, but I didn't want the embarrassment that this was going to cause me at school on Monday morning! I knew there were many other students from my school in the audience!
Let me just preface what happened next with an explanation. Remember when I said this all started years before? Well, it did. And because of that, my voice has not changed much as I've gotten older. At 16 years of age, I was sorry to admit that I was an alto. I would probably always be an alto. It was another reason I was hesitant to let people hear me sing. I was hoping to get up here and sing a song that wouldn't show the audience how high my pitch was, but Emily made sure to keep that possibility from happening. I would have to kill her for this.
A prelude to a Hannah Montana song started playing. While I must admit that she has some very good songs, they don't often get sung by guys! I could already hear a number of chuckles and giggles coming from those sitting in the first few rows. I felt myself turning beet red, and I tried to find Emily to glare at her, but could not see much in the slightly subdued lighting of the hall. The glare of the lights on the stage meant I'd have to suffer through this alone. I was terrified!
Moments later I realized that I had already missed my cue into the song. The words were leaping across the karaoke screen, but they weren't coming out of my mouth. With a nervous feeling in my gut, I jumped in at the first opportunity.
Emily had caught me singing along to the title song for Hannah Montana a couple of months ago when she had the Disney channel on one day. We were sitting on her couch trying to do some homework, but we were both really watching the show. I hadn't even realized that I was singing.
After the show was over she made me sing more. Her little sister had a soundtrack to the show, and Emily wouldn't let me go back to my homework until I had sung a few of the ones I knew the words to. She said I sang them really well. I thought there was no way I could compete with Miley, and she agreed, but she said that was more because my tone was different and not because she had a better voice. I didn't agree with that statement.
But she may have been right. While I continued to sing the song I noticed that the few people whom I could see off the stage were no longer laughing or pointing at me. Instead, they seemed to be sitting back and listening like my friends and I had done, when one of the better singers had taken the stage.
As embarrassed as I was to be singing a Hannah Montana song in front of people who would probably make fun of me for it later, I started to enjoy the experience. Like I said before, I did enjoy singing, and being able to share it with others was always one thing I enjoyed doing. I just wished my voice sounded manlier.
When the song ended, I found myself standing there smiling like a lunatic. That was the most fun I'd had in a long time! I didn't realize that I would enjoy singing to an audience so much!
Then I noticed the audience for the first time. They were all clapping, and now that the lights had come up a bit, I noticed that there were a few people standing at the same time!
Turning bright red again, I quickly ran off the stage and headed for my seat next to Emily and Ethan. Even though I had fun, I still wanted to make sure Emily paid for her antics.
I quickly ducked into my seat while the next person got up to sing the next song. I was happy when the lights dimmed, and it was harder to see the other people in the concert hall. I was still embarrassed at what I had done.
"That was so awesome!" Ethan told me with a large grin on his face. I'd never seen him look so excited about my singing before.
"You are an excellent singer, Brett," Emily agreed with him. "But I've never heard you sing that well before. It's like you had confidence in what you were singing. Before, you seemed to be self-conscious of your voice. Tonight you let it shine through."
Their comments had deepened the blush that was still covering my face. I turned to Emily, and tried to scowl at her, but I don't think it came out that way. "How could you do that to me?" I asked her.
"Do what? Make you sing to the best of your ability? That doesn't sound like something you should be mad about."
She was only making it worse. How could I be mad at her when she used that kind of logic? "But...the song!"
She rolled her eyes at me. "Don't give me that," she said. "You know that you've got a higher pitched voice, you should be proud of it. I wanted you to understand that."
I wanted to yell back at her that I didn't want a high voice, but before I got a chance there was someone behind us.
"Excuse me, young lady," he said. We all looked up at him.
"Yes?" Emily replied.
"Sorry," the man said with a wave of his hand. "I meant her."
He was pointing at me, which made me want to sink even further into my seat! Alright, alright, I didn't look like the average teenage guy at the age of 16 either. In fact, I looked a lot more like Emily than I did Ethan. Suffice it to say that my testosterone production was not the best, and my slight build and unnervingly feminine features often led people to mistake me for a girl. My long dark brown hair probably had something to do with it too. Maybe it was time to get it cut. I had let it grow a couple feet long, nearly to the bottom of my back. It definitely was not the kind of hair that most guys had.
I swallowed as he turned back to me. "Can I have a word with you for a moment?"
I was freaked out now, and I heard Emily answer "Of course" for me. With more trepidation than I would have liked, I stood up and followed Johnny's dad, for that's who it was, out of the concert hall and down the adjacent hallway to a plush office. Why did he want to talk to me?
"Have a seat," he told me, indicating a plush chair in front of his desk. He walked around and took his own chair while I complied.
"That was amazing," he told me, and then smiled at the shock I was sure was evident on my face. "You truly have a gifted voice. How long have you been singing?"
"I uh," I started, but found the words hard to come by. "I, well, I don't really. Not with others around."
"You should," was his only response. "You're very talented."
I was blushing again. I hadn't had this type of reaction in years. My face was going to explode if I kept rushing blood to it.
"In fact," he continued, pulling something out of his top drawer. "I'd like to offer you the chance to make a demo CD. You've got the type of voice that we're looking for."
I was completely shocked now! I wasn't good enough for a recording contract! Why would he be offering me one? And, and, he thought I was a girl! That could definitely be a problem!
"What's your name?" he asked me. I hesitated. I could have come clean now, but it might have risked my chance to sing more, and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I wanted to sing more. I wanted a contract, even if I didn't know that I did just five minutes earlier. I'd have to play along for now. I could always tell him the truth about my true gender later, right?
"Megan," I told him. The name leaped out of my mouth without conscious thought. I had used it enough times in the past.
"Megan...?" I looked at him blankly for a minute before realizing that he wanted more.
"Oh, sorry, Megan Campbell."
"Well Megan, are you busy tomorrow afternoon?" he asked.
I shook my head slightly. I couldn't think of anything that I had planned for that time tomorrow.
"Good," he said with a comforting smile. "How about you meet me at my studio at 3 o'clock and we can record a demo CD. I can then get it over to my company and hear what they have to say."
"O...okay." I replied. This was happening so fast, I couldn't believe he was offering me this chance! I couldn't believe that I actually wanted it for that matter!
"Great!" he said while standing back up. He extended his hand, holding a business card. "Here's my card. The address for the studio is there on the front. Make sure you bring a parent, because you'll need them to sign some papers."
I took the card and looked at it briefly. In shock he led me back to the concert hall and told me to enjoy the party.
Moments later I slumped into my seat next to Emily.
"What did he want?" she asked me almost immediately. I handed the card to her.
"He wants me to come down to his studio tomorrow and record a demo CD."
"Oh my gosh Brett, that's great!" she exclaimed while wrapping me in a hug. "Now do you believe that you’re as good as we said?"
I had to admit that I must be better than I thought I was. I didn't think there was anything particularly great about my singing, but maybe I was wrong.
"Come on," she said while grabbing my arm and turning towards the door. "Let's go tell your parents."
We left the party and were soon in Ethan's car, driving towards my house.
"There's only one problem," I told them, not sure how to broach the subject.
"What?" Emily asked cautiously.
"Well," I responded, reluctant to open this topic with my friends. "He thinks I'm a girl."
Coming soon...
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"Right," I said when Mom released the hug and looked back at me, worry in her eyes. "Well, he thinks I'm a girl."
"Is that what you want?" she asked me. Frustrated, I sighed. My mom had asked me that question way too often. Moms weren't supposed to ask their sons if they wanted to be girls, right? Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2 - The Beginning of the End (Of My Current Life) by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: October 5, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 2 - The Beginning of the End (Of My Current Life)
"What do you mean he thinks you’re a girl?" Emily asked incredulously.
"Well, he did call me a 'young lady' in the hall, remember."
"Yeah," she said dismissing the observation. "But he surely asked for your name, right? Didn't that set him straight?"
"Well..." I started. Emily just stared at me, waiting for my answer. "Not exactly."
Emily looked aghast at my revelation, and Ethan let out a laugh from the driver's seat.
"Why?" he asked before Emily had the chance. Her stare bore down on me harder now.
"I was in shock," I told her, but it definitely didn't satisfy her. "I thought it would be better to play along."
"Megan Campbell," Emily said sternly. She'd heard the name enough to guess which one I had given him. "How could you do such a thing? This could be your one chance and you might have just blown it. He'll find out eventually."
"I know," I told her weakly. "But it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I'll have to tell him the truth tomorrow anyway, when my parents sign papers and stuff."
She just shook her head at me.
Eventually Ethan pulled his car into my driveway. In excitement, despite any downer I may have brought to the news, we jumped out of the car and ran inside.
"Mom!" I said, finding her in the kitchen. "You'll never believe what happened!"
Exasperated at our energy levels, she stopped working on the cake she was making and turned toward us. "What is it, honey?"
"WellwewenttothepartyandEmilyandEthanmademesingandthen..."
"Whoa," she said while placing her arm on my shoulder. "Slow down a bit."
I nodded, and took a deep breath. "We went to the party, right?" she nodded.
"Emily and Ethan, the meanies that they are, made me sing!" I looked at them smartly, but I couldn't really be mad at them after the results it had produced.
"Go on," my mom said. Her excitement level had also risen a bit.
"Johnny's dad wants me to make a demo CD tomorrow!" I practically yelled the news.
"Oh honey," she said while stepping forward and wrapping me in a hug. "That's great news! I always told you that you had a nice voice."
She had said that, like everyone else who had heard me sing. But I hadn't believed her either. I mean, I'm an alto!
"Tell her the bad part," Emily said behind me, ruining the awesome buzz I was sharing with my mom.
"Right," I said when Mom released the hug and looked back at me, worry in her eyes. "Well, he thinks I'm a girl."
Mom rolled her eyes at that statement. It wasn't any shock to her. Half the time I felt like she thought I was a girl.
"Is that what you want?" she asked me. Frustrated, I sighed. My mom had asked me that question way too often. Moms weren't supposed to ask their sons if they wanted to be girls, right?
Sighing, I tried to put my thoughts together. "I don't know," I told her truthfully. This had been on my mind for years now, ever since the accident. Lately, the issue seemed to be coming up more and more often. I knew that growing out my hair and wearing androgynous clothes would lead me to this point repeatedly, but it was still a big decision. I had been seeing a therapist for a few years, and I was not sure if I would have done it if she didn't think it was such a good idea.
"I promised Mary that I would try it. Maybe this is a good time," I explained. Mary was my therapist. She often said that if I was truly going to make an informed decision, I needed to know how both sides lived.
"Honey," my mom said with deep concern. "I don't know if this is exactly normal. She wanted you to try living a normal life as a girl, not as a pop star."
"Maybe," I told her. "But now is as good a time as any."
Mom nodded at me and then wrapped me in another hug. "You know we'll be happy with whatever you decide, but I'd bring this up with Mary at your appointment in the morning. See what she thinks."
"Okay," I told her. "I will."
The following morning found me in Mary's waiting room, thinking about the turn of events that my life had taken.
My dad had also been excited to learn about my singing opportunity, until he had heard my plan. He agreed with my therapist about needing to make an informed decision in theory, but he didn't seem to be ready for it to happen in practice. I think he still felt guilty about the accident.
My brother seemed irritated about my decision. I guess that's understandable. I don't think he wanted to have a sister.
I stood up and entered Mary's office when her receptionist said she was ready to see me.
"How are you doing?" she asked when I had taken a seat on her soft sofa. She liked to sit in a harder chair for some reason.
"Good," I said noncommittally.
"Anything exciting happen since our last visit?" she asked. I saw her every other week now. I was getting to the age where I needed to make the decision, and she increased our visits hoping to help.
"Yeah," I answered. "I got offered the opportunity to make a demo CD for a record label last night."
She obviously wasn't expecting anything quite that exciting. She looked stunned for a second before continuing. "That's great! Are you going to take it?"
"Yeah, but there's a slight issue."
She raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything, waiting for me to continue.
"The guy I talked to, he kinda thinks that I'm a girl."
Mary was good, but she couldn't hide everything. I saw the corners of her mouth curl ever so slightly at this news. "What are you going to do about it?" she asked.
"I thought this might be a good time to try the other side," I told her truthfully.
She looked at me for a second. She always made sure that she knew what she was going to say before she actually did. It made her good at her job.
"I'm not so sure that's what I had in mind," she eventually said. "I was thinking about something more normal."
"I know," I replied. "But after thinking about it last night, I think Mr. Crawford may not want me to do the CD if he knew I was a boy."
"You'll have to tell him eventually," she interjected some logic.
I nodded before replying. "Yes, but if I'm willing to stay a girl he might not care so much."
She looked wary of my logic, but didn't seem to disagree. "And if he doesn't?"
"If he doesn't," I said, and then sighed. "If he doesn't, then I could lose this awesome opportunity. But who is really going to want to listen to a boy who sings with an alto voice?"
"Your gender shouldn't matter," she said.
"I know, but I think I'd be more popular as Megan, and it is something we agreed I would try."
Mary was quiet for a few minutes, and I knew she was formulating an action plan. These periods of silence had been unnerving when I first started seeing her, but now they seemed to be the calm before the storm. Usually just a small storm though, with the type of rain that you love.
"How about this," she said eventually. I was listening carefully. "You're a Hannah Montana fan, correct?"
I nodded. It was embarrassing to admit that as a 16 year old boy, but I couldn't deny it.
"What if we took a page from the show's book?" I gave her a confused look before she continued. "What if we create you a stage persona, but leave Megan to live your normal life. That way you can get, as the show says, the best of both worlds. I'll feel happy that you'll get to experience the normal side of living as a girl, but you'll still get to have a chance at a music career too."
It was an intriguing idea. This was why I liked Mary. She was always thinking about my best interests. "That sounds like a good idea, if Mr. Crawford will go for it."
"You're just making a demo CD, right?" she asked. At my nod she continued. "We can worry about the logistics if you get a contract, but I think it's a good idea."
All I could do is continue to nod.
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There was nothing my dad could have done, it happened so suddenly. He slammed on the brakes and he tried to swerve, but it didn't help. We still slammed into the rock at 30 mph. Sarah Carerra
Chapter 3 - The Real Deal by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: October 12, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 3 - The Real Deal
"Sarah Carerra?"
Mr. Crawford, or Scott as he told me to call him, was thinking the name over.
"I like it," he said. "But are you sure it's what you want? The logistics of this type of decision could get expensive if you get a contract."
"It is," I said, looking towards my dad for support. He had come around after talking to my mom, and he seemed to accept the decision that I had made. He had also decided he was going to be my manager. At least he had the background to do the job, since that's what he actually did for a living.
"Okay, I'll submit the demo under that name then. I can understand why you might want to keep the two separate, a pretty girl like you would be mobbed at school if you became a star. What's the other thing?"
I hesitated now. We'd told him that there were two things he needed to know before I made the demo CD. The first was about my stage persona. The second, well, that wasn't so easy to say.
"I'm not really a girl," I eventually said. I was surprised when I heard Dad exhale his held breath along with my own.
"Say what?" Scott asked. "Is this a joke?"
"I'm afraid not," my dad said before I could continue. It might be better if this part came from him.
"Brett," he paused. "Megan is not female. It's a long story, but let's just say she is in a unique position in her life, and needs to decide if she wants to be male or female."
Scott looked shocked at this revelation. I certainly understood why.
"I don't know about this then," he said while grimacing at us. "I was expecting to promote a female talent. I don't think the record company is going to be interested in a male with, well, her voice."
"I'm willing to live as a female," I told him quickly. "That's why we came up with Sarah Carerra."
He nodded at my explanation. "That's good, but it would be a lot more difficult to show up for shows as a boy and go on stage as a girl."
"I know," I told him. "Like I said, I'm willing to live as a girl. My therapist told me that she wanted me to live as a girl for a while, and I'm going to do that now. She's also the one who came up with the Sarah idea. She wants me to have a normal life too."
He sat back in his chair to digest this information. This was it, I thought, the beginning of my new career, or the end. I hoped it was the beginning.
"Tell me the story," he said, surprising both Dad and me. I hadn't told anyone my story other than Emily and Ethan. I wasn't even sure how they were going to take it when I started living as Megan full time.
Without any other choice, I decided to tell him the story.
It was a nice, warm sunny day. We were going to the beach!
School had just let out for the summer the week before, and the temperatures were somewhat lower than normal, making for a pleasant day. The forecast was for clear skies and the weatherman said there shouldn't be any big undertows.
I was 10, and I couldn't think of anything else I would rather be doing that day. Dad said we could even rent body boards and ride the waves.
We were traveling up the Pacific Coast Highway. My dad wanted to try a new beach that someone at work had told him about. My parents were sitting in the front seats of Dad's sedan. My eight-year-old brother Austin and I were sitting in the back, looking out the windows and enjoying the beautiful scenery. I was jealous because my brother was sitting behind the driver's seat, and he had the view of the ocean, while I got a cliff face.
It came out of the blue. No, not out of the water, out of the sky! A falling rock! I'd seen the "Falling Rock" signs before, but I'd never actually seen one. A falling one that is. Until now.
It landed right in the middle of our lane! It was so heavy that it didn't even bounce; it just embedded itself into the asphalt!
There was nothing my dad could have done, because it happened so suddenly. He slammed on the brakes and he tried to swerve, but it didn't help. We still slammed into the rock at 30 mph.
Dad had tried to swerve into the oncoming lane to avoid the rock. Luckily, there weren't any cars coming. Unluckily, it only changed where the car hit the rock, and we collided with it on the front passenger side.
I don't remember much after that, until I woke up in the hospital. My dad and my brother had minor cuts and bruises. My mom and I suffered the worst. She had a broken leg and some minor lacerations. I was the only who had a major injury.
Somehow a piece of metal from the car had pierced the area between my legs, severing both my penis and my scrotum from my body. The doctors said that I was lucky that was all that had been cut, because the wound came close to reaching the femoral artery of my right leg.
While I was unconscious, my parents were given a choice. They could attach what was left of my penis back on, or they could give me a sex change operation and raise me as a girl, or they could leave the area pretty much sexless until I made a decision later.
Option #1 sounded like the best, but only about 1/4 of my penis would be able to be saved. I'd be able to stand up to pee, but wouldn't ever be able to perform sexually when I was older, at least not well.
Option #2 had the best outcome, assuming I could live with the decision to be a girl. I could live the most normal life of the options this way.
Option #3 was a stop gap. I'd lose the extra length of penis, but they could recreate much of it later using the same methods they did for female-to-male transsexuals.
My parents chose option #1.
Their reasoning was sound. They felt that it gave me the best options. They wanted me to make the decision, not them. By choosing option #1 I could choose to live as a boy and have a piece of my real self. If I chose to be a girl, then I could still have that surgery later.
Naturally, upon waking up, I wanted to remain a boy. I didn't fully understand why they would think otherwise.
Two days after being discharged from the hospital I met Mary for the first time. She helped me to cope with what had happened. But more importantly, she started to help me understand the decision that my parents had been given, and that I was now presented with.
Over the next couple of years I tried to live as a boy. I watched as my friends and my schoolmates started to grow and begin puberty. I listened as their voices broke and took on a masculine tone. I knew that it was an option for me with hormone replacement therapy, but I realized I wasn't ready to make the decision.
Mary also encouraged me to explore my feminine side. My mom was quick to agree with her. I think Mom just really wanted a girl though. At the age of 12 I dressed up for the first time, and my mom named me Megan. She said it was the name she would have given me if I had been born a girl.
For the next few years I would live little bits of my life as a girl. One night at home, a week while we went on vacation, small amounts of time. But never where someone I knew would find out, except for Emily and Ethan, and they seemed okay with it.
At first it was embarrassing, because I didn't want to do it. I wouldn't have done it if Mary and my mom hadn't insisted that I give it a chance to see if I would be happier that way. Over time I started to feel differently about it.
The feelings scared me. I was supposed to be a boy, right?
I tried to suppress the feelings. I kept telling people that I didn't want to be a girl. But the truth was, I wasn't sure anymore. I honestly started to believe that it might be the better choice.
Mary made sure that I understood the ramifications of this decision. She said she could help me through the process no matter what decision I made, but she wanted me to make the decision sooner rather than later. She believed that the older I got, the more complicated the decision would become.
But that wasn't the only thing driving me to make a decision. Without any testicles to produce testosterone, estrogen had become the primary sex hormone in my body. Because both sexes make some of both hormones, and my major testosterone production was now removed, my body started to develop in a way that could make my decision complicated if I wanted to stay male.
Emily and Ethan didn't know it at the time, but I truly was more female than I was male, physically at least. My breasts started budding when I was 15, nearly a year ago. They weren't big, and a training bra sufficed, but they were growing slowly. It was obvious that my skeletal structure was also following a female pattern. My hips were widening and I was now developing an hourglass figure. Without the introduction of a testosterone replacement plan, I was destined to develop as a girl.
This brought me back to the decision that I now faced. But the decision had changed since I was 10. Instead of deciding if I wanted to be a girl, I now needed to decide if I wanted to be a boy. If I didn't alter nature soon, it might be too late.
Scott got the condensed version. He didn't need the specifics.
Scott sat there at his desk, thinking. I was hesitant to say more, and it wasn't something that I wanted to rush. He looked slightly pained. I was sure that this wasn't a standard discussion when meeting with new talent.
"Alright," he finally said. "I guess I can work with that."
I smiled a big grin, and I could feel the tension in the room noticeably lift. I looked over at Dad quickly, and he was grinning back at me with a smile I had never seen him use before.
Whenever we discussed the possibility of me becoming a girl, he always looked sad. But this was a happy smile. Maybe he really did want a daughter!
"Are you ready to make that CD?" Scott asked me. I grinned while taking his hand to seal the deal.
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"Megan?" I heard someone ask while we were eating. I turned to look, and Emily was standing there, looking at me trying to decide if what she was seeing was real.
"Hi Em," I started, not quite sure how to explain my presence Sarah Carerra
Chapter 4 - Meet Megan Campbell, Teenage Girl (In Training) by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: October 19, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 4 - Meet Megan Campbell, Teenage Girl (In Training)
The rest of the afternoon was amazing! I'd never been in a sound studio before, but Scott seemed to have a way of putting me at ease. I don't know if I could have finished the CD without him there to help me get through it.
He had me sing a couple more Hannah Montana songs, claiming that we would probably be after the same target market. But he also gave me some sheet music to read through and try to learn the words for. After 15-20 minutes, he had me start singing the song, entitled 'Intuition'. I could see Scott and my dad in the control booth, and the look on their faces as I sang was one of awe.
The new song was apparently one the studio was floating around to some of their top scouts. They were looking for a young girl who could make the song skyrocket up the hit charts. According to Scott, I was exactly what they were looking for. He was acting like a kid on Christmas morning as he burned a copy of the CD, and placed it into his briefcase, muttering something about how long he would have to wait to play it for the record company because of the weekend.
Dad and I left shortly after signing some paperwork. He felt certain that we were going to hear from the record company quickly.
Mom hugged and kissed me when I got home, clearly happy that Scott hadn't backed out of giving me the opportunity to sing. I think she was afraid that if he did, I wouldn't try living as Megan. Truth was I probably would have started living as Megan either way.
In celebration, she decided we needed to go shopping. Apparently I needed all kinds of new clothes if I was going to make this change a reality.
I had a couple of outfits for Megan in my closet from previous outings, and mom made me change into a pair of jeans and a pink top after forcing me to take a shower and shave my legs and underarms. She then tied my hair back into a ponytail with a lacy ribbon. A dab of makeup and I looked like any other 16-year-old girl!
Instead of cringing at how quickly I could be turned into a girl, like I usually did, I liked the idea this time! If I was embracing this new life, then I was glad this part would be easy. I even thought I was fairly attractive.
The boys seemed to agree. They would stare at my mom and me while we shopped, but I was pretty sure they weren't looking at Mom...much. It was a strange feeling, but one I no longer seemed to find disgusting, like I had on my previous outings as Megan.
Shopping is definitely a different experience when you're a girl. Mom insisted that we start at the beauty parlor. They didn't have any openings available, but I did get an appointment for Monday evening.
They did pierce my ears for free though, something I wasn't expecting to do. Mary had suggested earlier that morning that I should try to live full time while not at school. In three weeks when the school year ended I could then live full time, and we would register me as Megan when school started up again. Having pierced ears was going to make these last three weeks difficult. At least the studs weren't too flashy, but they were quite feminine.
Next my mom dragged me into a department store and over to the junior’s section. She then proceeded to get me fitted for a bra.
"She doesn't have much," my mom was telling the sales lady. "We were wondering if you had anything that could maybe...emphasize a bit."
The lady chuckled, which didn't make me feel any better about my small chest. Why couldn't it grow faster?
Wow! Where did that thought come from? It was the first time that I was unhappy about the small growth. Before, I was wishing that it wasn't growing at all!
I was ushered into one of the dressing rooms, where the lady asked me to take off my top. A little embarrassed, I complied. Nobody other than my mom had seen them before. She then took a measuring tape and took a few measurements. AA, possibly an A was her pronouncement.
"Wait here, I'll see what we can do," she said before leaving me alone in the dressing room.
I turned back to the mirror, and took a good look at myself. Wearing a pair of girl’s jeans, and with my upper torso nude, I looked like a girl! There was no way to deny it. The small waist, the girly nipples, and the budding breasts were enough to convince anyone who would have seen me!
I was mesmerized with myself until she returned; handing me a bra that she claimed "has some padding."
It did. Putting it on really made a big difference, even Mom was excited when I showed her. She gave me a huge hug and said her little girl was growing up too fast.
We proceeded to purchase a number of these bras, and some panties to go with them. My mom then started in on the rest. Pantyhose, jeans, pants, skirts, tops, even a couple of dresses were soon being rung up and placed in bags as we moved along the mall.
I think my mom got carried away with the bikini though. I knew from wearing panties that I could pass convincingly in the crotch area with a tuck, and would be able to do so in the bikini, but I certainly wasn't ready to wear it. Mom just said I would need something to wear this summer.
We then proceeded to the food court, where we ordered a couple of salads and found a seat.
"Megan?" I heard someone ask while we were eating. I turned to look, and Emily was standing there, looking at me while trying to decide if what she was seeing was real.
"Hi, Em," I started, not quite sure how to explain my presence.
"It IS you!" she said, sitting down at one of the empty seats at our table. "What are you doing here?"
"Um," I said, still struggling with how to respond. "Shopping?"
"Obviously," she retorted, looking at the bags on the floor. "But what are YOU doing here?"
My mom was staying out of this conversation, unfortunately. I saw the amusement in her eyes when I glanced at her briefly before turning back to Emily.
"The demo CD went really well," I explained. "I'm going to be living as a girl for a while."
The shock on Emily's face was apparent. I'd talked to her and to Ethan about the possibility of living as Megan, but it always seemed like something in the future.
"All the time?" she asked. She seemed happier with the prospect than I thought she would.
"Except for school, at least until the end of the year."
"That's so great!" she said, wrapping me in a hug. "I'm so excited! We're going to be even better friends!"
"So you're okay with it?" I asked her, still not completely sure.
"You bet! I've been waiting for this moment for years!"
I shook my head, not really believing what she was saying.
"Oh my gosh!" she nearly screamed. "You got your ears pierced!"
She went on and on about my upcoming life changes while my mom and I continued eating. I think she was more excited than I was at that point.
"We still need to get shoes," my mom interrupted when we had finished eating.
"I'm coming with you guys," Emily told us. I think Mom was slightly peeved at her, interrupting our first true mother/daughter outing, but she seemed to realize that Emily was my best friend, and I was going to need all the support that I could get in the months ahead.
We ended up buying way more shoes than I thought I needed. I struggled slightly when trying on heels, but I'd worn them before and got better as we continued shopping.
"Do you need a ride home?" Mom asked Emily when we were finished.
Emily nodded. "If it's alright, it would save my mom the trip out to get me."
Mom nodded back to her, and Emily pulled out her cell phone to let her mom know she no longer needed a ride.
The Prescotts, Emily's family, live next door to us, so it was easy enough to give her a ride home. I figured she'd be over at my home anyway to see what I had purchased. I was right.
We pulled into the garage, and Emily helped my mom and I lug the numerous bags into my room.
"At least you don't have to redecorate," Emily told me when we had entered my room. I merely nodded. The furniture was actually pretty unisex, but I had a vanity against one wall and the dominant color was a pastel yellow. I couldn't recall when my room had become so girly, it seemed like it happened gradually over the last couple of years.
It took us a while to unpack the bags. My mom made us bag up most of my boy clothes, leaving only enough to get me through the last three weeks of school. When we started putting away my new clothes, Emily made me try on nearly every outfit. She burst into a fit of giggles when she saw the bikini, but at least she didn't make me try it on.
Later that night while laying in bed, wearing a soft nightgown we had purchased earlier, I marveled at how quickly the transformation had occurred. It was only this morning that I had talked to Mary about it, and now I was dreading Monday morning, when I would have to dress as a boy again.
With a sigh, I drifted off to sleep.
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"Come on, Ethan. Megan never seemed to bother you this much before."
"Yeah," he said. "But before there was always an end in sight. Brett was always coming back. I'm not so sure that will happen now." Sarah Carerra
Chapter 5 - When Did He Become A Girl? by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: October 26, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 5 - When Did He Become A Girl?
The rest of the weekend was pretty much uneventful. My brother was weirded out by my cross over, but he'd seen me dressed often enough that he seemed fine with it by Sunday night.
Monday morning was about as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't realize that I had committed myself to this girl thing so much until then. Putting on my boys clothes Monday morning actually felt odd, and I wasn't sure that I liked wearing them anymore. If nothing else, it seemed out of character. I did wear a pair of panties instead of boy’s briefs, making it slightly more bearable.
I usually wore my hair in a ponytail to school, but I was afraid to do so today. If I pulled my hair back, I was worried that it would bring to much attention to the studs in my ears. Why didn't I wait until the end of the school year before getting them pierced? I blamed my mom.
Worse yet, I wouldn't even be able to remove the studs until after the school year ended!
Instead, I wore my hair down, trying to keep it covering my ears to prevent any tormenters from finding out. Hopefully it would work.
Anyway, I felt oddly out of place walking to school with Emily that morning. We'd spent enough time together on Sunday that she seemed slightly down when I wasn't dressed up as Megan. When Ethan joined us at his house further down the street, he didn't seem to notice anything different.
When we reached the school, it became apparent that Ethan was either in the minority for noticing differences, or he was just too nice to say anything. There were quite a few people staring at me while I walked down the halls, and I heard at least one person ask who the new girl was. Could wearing my hair down instead of in a ponytail be enough to cause confusion about my gender? If they did see the earrings, it would help tip the balance the wrong way.
I even had a couple of teachers look at me curiously when they were taking roll, wondering if I really was the same boy that had been sitting in the same seat the week before. I honestly didn't think I looked that different.
"Maybe it's your attitude," Emily said at lunch after I had explained the looks I'd been receiving all morning. "I mean, ever since Saturday night you've been acting differently. Perhaps they can see the difference."
Ethan had a confused look on his face during this discussion, and I realized that I hadn't seen him all weekend. He didn't know about my decision to live as Megan.
"What happened Saturday?" he asked obliviously. Before I had a chance to respond, a look of understanding crossed his face. "Oh, that's right, how did the demo CD thing go?"
"Fine," I replied. I was nervous about discussing my new life in such a public setting and I was hoping it could wait until after school.
"Tell him," Emily said, destroying that idea.
"Fine," I whined, knowing that I needed to tell him sooner or later. I leaned into the table and the two of them leaned in closer to hear my whisper. "I'm going to start living as Megan."
The shock on his face didn't quite mirror the shock Emily had shown upon learning the news. I got the feeling he didn't want me to do this about as much as Emily had been waiting for it.
"Why?" he asked, louder than I would have liked him to. "I mean, why now?"
"Well, they want a female singer," I explained. "Not a boy with an alto voice."
He grimaced at this news, indicating my earlier assumption had been right. He didn't want to lose his best male friend. How could I tell him that the male friend he knew seemed to be slipping farther and farther away with each passing day?
"You know Mary wants me to," I continued to explain. "Now's as good a time as any to do it."
He continued to look downtrodden for the rest of lunch. I knew that he would come around, but things were going to be slightly different between us. Perhaps he could see it after that point, but he seemed to treat me differently. He was treating me like he did when I was dressed up as Megan, even though I wasn't.
The rest of the school day passed in much the same manner. People seemed to be questioning my gender more than I thought they should, but at least nobody seemed to notice my earrings. If they had, at least they didn't mention it.
Eventually the three of us were walking home, one day closer to the end of the school year.
"Are you okay?" I asked Ethan. He still seemed slightly down.
"Yeah," he replied regretfully. He had his hands in his pockets and had been staring at the ground for nearly the entire walk. "When are you going to start?"
"Last Saturday," was my answer. He stopped walking, and stared at me. Turning to face him, I noticed that he seemed even more depressed. "Come on, Ethan. Megan never seemed to bother you this much before."
"Yeah," he said. "But before there was always an end in sight. Brett was always coming back. I'm not so sure that will happen now."
I was confused at his rationale. I could always decide that living as a boy was the right way to go. His face seemed to say otherwise.
"You're too comfortable as Megan," he eventually said. "You always have been. It's only a matter of time until you realize it and decide to stay a girl."
I laughed lightly. Was he serious?
He saw my dubious expression, and laughed lightly himself. "I know, I know, you don't believe me. But it's true." Emily was nodding her head in agreement.
"What makes you say that?"
Ethan looked like he didn't quite know how to put the explanation into words. It was Emily who was able to respond. "Megan is happier. You're always so depressed when you go back to being Brett."
"I am not!" I countered.
"Yes you are." Ethan said. "Now I know why you were so down this morning while walking to school."
"I wasn't down."
"Yes you were," Emily stated. I really didn't know what to say. I'd never noticed this before. It couldn't possibly be true, right?
My life was changing too fast.
An hour later my mom was driving me to my hair appointment. I was beginning to think that this was a bad idea. The hair appointment, not the Megan thing.
My ears were hard enough to hide, but getting a female haircut would be downright impossible to hide! Mom didn't seem to think it would be a problem, but she didn't have to live with it for three weeks!
Emily had wanted to come with us, but her family was going out to dinner together for a cousin's birthday. Ethan didn't want to set foot anywhere near a salon. I was cool with that. It gave me time to talk to my mom about the things that had been pestering my mind since our walk home from school.
"Mom, am I happier as Megan?"
She looked startled at the question. I know I felt relief when I changed into a pair of girl’s jeans and a pretty red top after school. I was beginning to wonder if there was truth to what Emily and Ethan had said.
"What makes you ask that, honey?" she asked me, avoiding my question entirely.
"Em and Ethan said I was," I replied. "They say I get depressed when I go back to being Brett. Do I?"
She looked uncomfortable at the question. I realized that even though she really wanted a daughter, she wanted to make sure that it was my decision, not hers.
"Don't take this the wrong way, honey, but they're right," she said. "I remember the very first time you dressed up. Remember when your cousin Chloe was visiting? She somehow talked you into that pretty dress of hers. You never wanted to take that thing off."
"That's not true!"
She looked regretful now, but she kept going. "It is, Megan. Every time you've dressed up, it's been difficult to get you to stop. I thought for sure you would have gone full time as Megan before now. It's who you are."
I stared at her in shock at that statement, my mouth agape! Mom thought I was a girl! She'd thought that for years now, apparently! Had the decision already been made?
"Don't look at me like that, young lady! I'm only telling you the truth!" She seemed to be upset at my reaction. "I don't want to tell you what you should do with your life, but you need to take this decision seriously."
"I am," was the only response I could give.
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It was too late. The stylist led me back and started washing my hair. It would only be a matter of time until I doomed Brett to a miserable school existence! Sarah Carerra
Chapter 6 - Girlification, Times Two by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: November 2, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 6 - Girlification, Times Two
Instead of walking into the salon, my mom dragged me into the store next to it. I wasn't sure what she had planned. Part of the same company, this store sold wigs.
"What are we doing here?" I asked her.
"Your dad is pretty sure that the record company is going to call with good news," she explained. "If we're going to do this Hannah Montana thing, you need a wig like her."
"Oh," I replied, and started looking around the store.
"What about something like this?" my mom asked a few minutes later. I hadn't really found anything that seemed right.
"Are you serious?" I asked her incredulously. She was holding up a long, blonde wig. It was straight and had some darker highlights. It was pretty much a Hannah Montana wig! "Have you ever seen the show?"
Mom grinned, letting me know that she knew what she was doing. "Yes, I've seen the show. Come over here."
She led me over to where she had found the wig. It had been nestled between a number of other wigs that had the same length and appearance, but were styled differently.
"If we take the set, then you'll be able to change the style around," she said. "And yes, one would look like Hannah, but the others are quite different."
"I guess," I agreed timidly. "But are you sure the studio would want a Hannah look alike?"
"Honey, I don't think we have another option. Going with another shade of brown would not be enough of a difference to disguise you, and I don't think you could pull off a shade of red," she explained. "Blonde is your best bet."
I guess I couldn't argue with her logic. A quick check with a dark red proved her point. Trying on the blonde wigs proved that Sarah Carerra would be a hottie. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that!
With some insecurity, we purchased the set of wigs. I really hoped there was a contract heading my way, because the total was over $1,000!
The store said they would hold onto the boxes while I got my hair done. Mom led me through the connecting door into the salon.
The salon wasn't as busy that evening. The receptionist handed me a book of styles and told me that someone would be with me shortly. My mom and I took a seat in the waiting area.
Even though my hair was quite long, I'd never really had it styled before. It just hung there limply, not really having any body to it, like most boys with long hair.
"I need something that I can make look masculine for school," I told Mom while we were looking through the book.
She sighed before turning to me. "You can always pull whatever style we decide on into a low ponytail like usual. It should still work."
"I can't do that, Mom," I whined. "Then everyone will see my pierced ears!"
She smiled at me, but I don't think she understood the ramifications of being different in high school. I didn't want to get beaten up over this.
"It'll be okay, Megan." she said, giving me a comforting hug. "They'll be more forgiving than you think, and you'll really enjoy life away from school with these changes."
I knew she was right, about enjoying the changes at least, but I still didn't share her optimism about how the other kids would treat me. I'd seen what some of them could do.
I didn't think I was going to be able to talk my mom out of this decision though. In the end we found a style we liked that was very pretty, and feminine. My anxiety increased when I realized that a ponytail would still show the soft curls and waves that the style promised to give me.
But it was too late. The stylist led me back and started washing my hair. It would only be a matter of time until I doomed Brett to a miserable school existence!
After the washing, she led me to a chair and started working. She did trim a little to take care of any split ends, but the one thing my mom and I had agreed on was that we didn't want to lose any length. I'd started to get comfortable with long hair.
Sometime later, the stylist pronounced me done. My hair looked beautiful, and my mom was beaming with joy. The soft waves and curls tumbled down my back, and I felt a contentment I'd never felt before.
I was then led to a nail station, where a worker helped shape my nails and even taught me how to do it myself. I'd never really worried about it before, so the instruction was helpful. In the end they were painted in a dark red that was very striking. Not long after my toenails were the same color.
The third area I was led to had a lot of makeup sitting on the counters, and I knew that my fate led to a total conversion. The makeup artist was a really friendly girl who took the time to show me everything she was doing; helping to reinforce the minimal knowledge I had on how to do Megan's makeup. She even created a list of everything she used, and Mom agreed to purchase it.
I looked amazing! Staring at myself in the mirror when all was said and done, I couldn't see Brett anymore and Megan had never looked prettier! My eyes were dark and smoky, and I looked...exotic. I never realized how good I could look, and I was speechless with the results!
"You look amazing!" my mom voiced my thoughts. She was standing behind me at the mirror, and she looked happier than I had seen her in a long time.
It was getting hard to think of a reason to go back to being a boy.
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"Tough morning?" Emily asked.
I nodded. "You don't know the half of it. Everyone thinks I'm a girl now." |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 7 - Like a Record, Baby Right Round Round Round
Tuesday morning presented the conundrum I didn't want to face. Leaving my hair down made it pretty obvious that I had gotten a girl's haircut. But putting it up showed off the very feminine studs that were in my newly pierced ears. It was a lose-lose scenario. At least I was able to remove the nail polish, preventing even more embarrassment.
"I don't think it matters," Emily told me when I stepped outside to walk with her to school. "Both are going to be noticed eventually."
I frowned, but left my hair hiding my ears. I figured it was the lesser of two evils. "I should have waited until the end of the school year."
"No," Emily disagreed. "You'll get through this, and you look much better. I can't wait to see you with makeup on now."
"Like this?" I said, pulling a photo out of my backpack and showing it to her. My mom had taken the photo last night after we got home from the salon. She wanted to remember my first salon experience, apparently.
"Wow!" Emily squealed in delight while taking the photo from me to get a better look. "You're beautiful!"
"It was kind of surprising," I said shyly.
"What was?" Ethan said, making me jump and shriek like a little girl. I hadn't realized we had already walked all the way down to his house.
"Sorry," he apologized, but didn't say anything about my reaction. "What was surprising?"
"This..." Emily answered, handing him the photo.
"Wow!" he agreed with Emily. "You're hot."
That comment proceeded to turn my face really red. The last thing I needed was Ethan, my best guy pal, thinking I made a hot girl. I noticed Emily wasn't doing anything but laughing at my torment.
"You're going to have to get used to it, Megan," she said, before chuckling again.
"It's Brett during school hours, remember." I scolded her. "I don't need to get into any more trouble than I'm already in.
"I don't know about that," Ethan said, returning my photo to me. "You look more like Megan than you do Brett, even wearing boy clothes."
Now I was embarrassed and worried. What were the other kids going to think?
With great relief I took a seat at the table next to Emily and Ethan at lunch.
"Tough morning?" Emily asked.
I nodded. "You don't know the half of it. Everyone thinks I'm a girl now."
Someone started giggling. I noticed it was Kathy on the other side of the table. Kathy was a friend, but we weren't close like Ethan, Emily, and I. With her were Jane and Ashley, two other girls that hung out with us sometimes. I'm not quite sure why Ethan and I spent so much time around girls we weren't dating. It’s not like I'd ever really been on a date because of my accident six years earlier.
"It's probably because..." she said when she noticed my look. ”You do look like one."
"I know, I know," I said in a disgruntled voice. "But do people really have to rub it in?"
"They'll get over it," Emily said, trying to bring my spirits up. "Once the novelty fades."
I sighed. I was afraid that the novelty would last longer than the school year.
"Why do you?" Kathy asked. I stared at her for a minute, not understanding her half question. "I mean, why do you look like a girl all of a sudden? At least more of a girl."
"What does that mean?" I asked angrily.
"Nothing," she said defensively, realizing her mistake. "It's just...don't get mad, but you've always been a bit girly, you know."
I sighed. That seemed to be the story of my life lately. Maybe I really am a girl, and I never was a boy. Unfortunately, I had too many memories before the accident to believe that.
Kathy was still looking at me, I realized moments later. She was waiting for an answer. I couldn't really give her one. Unlike Emily and Ethan, she didn't know the story. That was privileged information. Only those who could be trusted knew.
"So that I can sing," I eventually said. I figured sticking with a partial truth would be better than an outright lie. At least this way I might have an excuse that she would buy. Perhaps not.
"So you can sing?" she repeated, obviously not understanding my explanation. I just nodded.
"We went to Johnny's party Friday night," Ethan elaborated. "She sang there, and Johnny's dad was interested in her voice."
"She?" Ashley asked. This just kept getting better and better. I managed to kick Ethan under the table, and delighted in the squeal he emitted.
"Sorry," he said, rubbing his leg.
"What he means," Emily continued the explanation. "Is that Johnny's dad thought he was a girl, and asked him to make a demo CD."
"Oh that's cool!" Kathy exclaimed. "I didn't know you could sing!"
"She has a beautiful voice," Ethan said, way too dreamily in my opinion. A second kick to the same spot got that look off his face.
"Brett has an excellent voice," Emily said, glaring at Ethan along with me. "But it's higher than most guys."
"I don't sing in public," I explained. I was just glad that nobody had mocked me for my singing at the party yet, and I hoped everyone had forgotten about it.
"Okay," Kathy said. "But that still doesn't explain why you have to look like a girl."
"I probably don't anymore," I said. "I told Johnny's dad the truth when we made the demo. He said he'd submit the demo, but the likelihood of the record company wanting my voice in a male talent was small, and he didn't want to worry about pretending to have me be a girl."
She nodded, along with Jane and Ashley. They seemed to have bought the lie. Now I just needed to think up a plausible excuse about why I was going to keep doing it.
We were walking home after school when my cell rang.
"Megan!" my dad was practically screaming into the phone. "Hurry home, I've got exciting news!"
"What is it?" I screamed back.
"You've got a meeting with the record company. They're interested in your voice!"
"Yes!" I screamed, not into the phone this time. I also did a little jig. Ethan and Emily were just staring at me like I had lost my mind. I yelled back at them, "The record company is interested!"
They joined my jig.
"The meeting is tomorrow morning at 11 o'clock," my dad said.
"Yes!" I voiced my inner excitement. "I get to miss school too!"
He didn't seem to be as enthusiastic about that prospect as I was. Dad, Mom, Ethan, Emily, and I were sitting around our dining table. We'd run the rest of the way to my house, and they wanted to hear the news nearly as much as I did.
"They said you have a great voice, they loved your vocals on that song they were pitching, and," he paused, looking at Emily and Ethan for a moment. "They like your image."
"My image?" I needed clarification on that one. They hadn't ever seen me. I mean, I'd just gotten the wigs last night.
My dad nodded. "I talked to Scott this morning. He seemed interested in our ideas and passed them on to the label. They seemed to agree with them."
Emily and Ethan looked lost at where the discussion had gone, but Dad seemed to be avoiding the Sarah Carerra bit for some reason, so I followed his lead.
"You've also got an appointment with an image consultant at nine," he stated, bringing a large smile to my face. I'm glad he was well connected at work. "She's very good and she'll help us get you jazzed up for the meeting."
"That's so cool," Emily blurted out, and I couldn't agree more. Turning to me she asked, "Do you need any company?"
I wasn't quite sure how to respond. My dad didn't seem to want to tell them about Sarah for some reason, and I couldn't agree without letting her in on the secret. It was Dad who was able to answer.
"Not this time," he told her, causing her shoulders to drop. "Maybe next time."
"If there is a next time," my brother said from the couch where he was watching TV. He apparently didn't think I had a chance. Then again, I'd made sure not to let him hear me sing too much. Maybe he didn't know how good I was. I was still starting to realize how good I was.
"Anyway," my dad continued. "We can talk more about the details later. You go have fun with your friends for now."
He winked at me, confirming my suspicions that he didn't want them to know about Sarah Carerra, and I wondered how I was going to keep such a big secret from them.
Later that night, while I was getting ready for bed, Dad knocked on my bedroom door. Quickly pulling my nightgown over my head, I let him in.
"Hey," he said, smiling at me. He really seemed to be taking this change well. "I'm so proud of you."
He wrapped me in a hug, and then kissed my forehead before letting me go. It was definitely something he never would have done if I was still Brett.
Geez, I certainly took to being Megan a bit too quickly. I realized that Brett now seemed to be the alter ego, even though that was who I was every day, all day, less than a week ago.
I smiled at him. "Why don't you want them to know about Sarah?"
"I don't want to make you keep secrets from them," he said with a frown. "I know how much they mean to you. But for now, at least until Sarah's career has been established, I think it would be best if fewer people know her real identity."
"That could be hard, Daddy," I said. Daddy? That was new. "They know about the meeting, they'll want to come to sound recordings and things."
"I know, Princess," he told me. Princess? This was starting to get weird. "We'll figure something out. We can let them in on it soon, I promise."
I just nodded, wondering again how I was going to be able to keep it from them.
"Good night," he said with a smile.
"Good night."
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I'd tried on each of the wigs before now, but this time was different. It was for real.
Sarah Carerra Chapter 8 - Meet Sarah Carerra, Teen Superstar–In Training by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: November 16, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 8 - Meet Sarah Carerra, Teen Superstar (In Training)
"Good morning, Princess," Dad said to me the next morning when I entered the kitchen for breakfast.
"Morning, Daddy," I said, playing along with this new game we had going. I think he was trying to show me that he was okay with my decision, but it was still weird.
Austin, my brother, nearly choked on his cereal at this display. I could understand why, because we'd never quite acted this way when I was dressed as Megan before.
"Eat up, and we'll get going," my dad told me, ignoring Austin's reaction.
I nodded and grabbed a bowl for myself. I might be embarking on a new life as a popular singer (hopefully), but I wasn't getting anything special for breakfast that morning.
"Are you ready, Megan?" Mom asked me while I was washing my breakfast dishes.
I turned to look at her, flipping my hair out of my eyes at the same time. This new haircut looked beautiful, but the bangs had a tendency to fall over my eyes. It was just one more thing to get used to, I guess. "Yeah, I'll be right there."
After placing my dishes in the dishwasher, I walked down the hall to the spare room. My dad had decided this was going to be Sarah's room, and while it was pretty vacant right now, he hoped to make it feel like a green room and dressing room combined into one. Right now, it only held the wigs.
Walking into the room I found my mom holding one of the wigs. It was the same long blonde with dark highlights, but this one had soft waves and curls in it. In fact, it looked a lot like my current hair, just a different color.
"How about this one?" she asked me. I smiled and nodded at her and then took a seat in the chair she indicated.
My mom set the wig down carefully, and then started gathering my hair with her hands. She twisted it, or did something to it that I couldn't see without a mirror, and pinned it to my head. She then picked the wig back up and placed it on my head, pinning it to my own hair to prevent the wig from accidentally falling off.
"Take a look," she said, allowing me to stand up.
I walked over to the full length mirror my dad had put on the wall yesterday, and peered at myself. I'd tried on each of the wigs before now, but this time was different. It was for real.
I was amazed at the difference! I enjoyed the way I looked as Megan. I thought I was pretty. But Sarah seemed to be in another league. Even with light makeup and wearing simple jeans and a pink tee, I could tell that she was going to be something sensational.
"Wow," I voiced when I saw my mom step behind me in the mirror. Her smile matched my own. "I can't believe how different I look!"
"You're gorgeous, honey," she said. "With or without the wigs."
"I'm scared," I told her, turning around and returning her hug. "What if something goes wrong?"
"Don't worry," she said soothingly. "Your dad will be there at every step, and I'm just a phone call away."
"I know," I told her, trying to keep the tears out of my eyes. The last thing I needed to do was mess up my makeup. "But I wish you were going to be there too."
"In time, honey," she said, stroking my back in a comforting gesture. "You know why your dad wants to keep your identity secret."
I nodded, but it didn't provide any comfort.
"How are you doing?" Dad asked me while we walked into an upscale downtown office building 40 minutes later.
"I'm nervous," I replied. In all honesty, I was stressed out.
"You'll be fine," he said with a large grin. "You're handling this better than most of my new clients."
I didn't know if that was true or not, but it did make me feel better. I was just happy he was there to support me.
"Julia is a nice girl," he continued when we were in the elevator. She gets paid well to make sure you look your best. If you don't like her ideas please say something. She'll work with you to make an image both of you will be happy with."
"Ok," I said.
Two older men in the elevator were staring at me more than I thought was appropriate, but I didn't know what to do about it.
"Don't worry, Sarah," my dad said, still trying to calm me down. "She's worked with a lot of young girls like you, and she's one of my best contractors."
I loved my dad! I didn't know if he was aware of the stares I was getting, but his comment about me being young certainly had the desired effect on the two guys.
We got out on the 20th floor and stepped into a luxurious lobby. The decor was expensive looking, and quite feminine in white and pink. I don't think I'd ever been in an office decorated this way before.
Dad led me over to the receptionist's desk, behind which two halls led further into the building. A sign on the wall behind her desk told me I was in the offices of Aphrodite Image Consulting.
"Hi, Janet," my dad said when the receptionist looked up. "Is Julia around?"
"Hi, Don," she replied with a smile that I felt was too large to be given to a happily married man. "If you want to take a seat I'll let her know you're here."
She smiled at me too after appraising my look, but this smile seemed more like she felt I didn't have a chance in the industry. I'm not quite sure how she pulled off that look.
Before we had a chance to take a seat, a pretty woman approached us from one of the halls. She appeared to be in her mid-20s, blonde, with blue eyes. She could have been a model herself.
"Don!" she said in greeting, finishing it with a quick hug. Was I the only one weirded out by all the flirting these girls were doing with my dad?
"It's so good to see you again!" she said, stepping back. Then she turned her attention to me. "And you must be Sarah. It's so nice to meet you."
She offered me her hand, and I took it. With a grin I said, "Pleased to meet you, ma'am."
"Oh don't you dare ‘ma'am’ me again, young lady," she said with mock disgust. "Julia will do."
I liked her already. She seemed nice enough, except that whole flirting with my dad thing. If she could stop flirting with him, I think we could have a good relationship together.
"Come on back to my office," she said, motioning down the hall. Dad and I followed her into a large office. The decor was slightly different, more personalized in here, but still very feminine. It had an odd effect of putting me at ease. My dad looked uncomfortable.
"So," she said after directing us to sit down on a small couch. She took a seat across from us in a soft looking chair. "You're the next teen sensation?"
"I guess," I said shyly. It sounded like it could become an accurate description. I kind of hoped it did.
"How old are you?" she asked, pulling out a notepad and writing a few things down.
"Sixteen," I replied. She wrote some more.
"No parents with you today, huh?" she said. I think she was trying to help build me up by reminding me of this new found independence.
"Um, I…" I started, but wasn't quite sure how to continue. I looked to my dad for the answer.
"Oh, Don!" she gasped, reading something in my expression. "When you said ‘one of mine’, you really meant ‘one of mine’!”
Dad grimaced slightly at how easily she was able to read our relationship. I guess that was something I was going to need to work on if I didn't want my secret getting out.
Eventually my dad nodded at her, and reached down to retrieve his briefcase. While he was rooting around inside, Julia continued.
"I'm guessing Sarah Carerra is a stage name then?"
Pulling a stack of papers from his briefcase, my dad nodded. "Before we continue this discussion, I'm going to need you to sign this."
Julia took the papers from my dad and started looking them over.
"It's a standard non-disclosure agreement," he told her. "It states that you and your company will not reveal Sarah's true identity.”
Julia frowned, but kept skimming the documents. "I'm going to need to have our lawyer look at this before I can sign it."
My dad smiled back at her, "I know. This is just a formality. We've known each other too long for me not to trust you."
Her frown left and she smiled again at the reassurance that Dad gave her. She stood up and placed the papers on her desk before returning to her seat.
"Ok," she said looking at me. "Can I ask your real name?"
I looked at my dad. I wasn't sure if I should tell her. At his nod I said, "Megan."
"Megan Campbell?" she asked. I nodded.
"Well Megan," she said while extending her hand. "I'm glad I was able to meet you. Your dad and I have worked together for years, but he never mentioned he had such a beautiful daughter."
I smiled and took her hand. We shook softly and then she let it go. Everyone kept saying I'm so beautiful, but I still wasn't used to compliments like that, and I could feel myself blushing again.
"To business then," she said while checking the time on her watch. "We've only got about an hour to get you ready. Instead of taking you shopping, we'll take a look at the stash. Does that sound okay?"
The last question was directed at my dad. He nodded agreement before she continued. "Great, once you're dressed we'll get our stylist to glam you up."
She wrote something else on her notepad and then stood up. "This way please. Don, you can wait here if you would like."
My dad nodded at her, and I stood up and followed her out of her office.
"Welcome to the stash," Julia said while pushing open a set of double doors. She waved her arms in a motion designed to make me look around the room.
I did, and I was impressed! The room was quite large; perhaps double the size of our living room at home. It was decorated much like the rest of the building, very femininely.
But it was the contents of the room that were the center piece. There were racks and racks of clothes. All shapes, all sizes. Dresses, skirts, pants, jeans, tops, jackets, you name it, it was probably in here somewhere. There was even a lingerie section!
"This area is for our clients when they are in need of a quick outfit change without the luxury of shopping time, like you," Julia explained. "The outfits are rotated frequently, and anything you take will be charged to your account. We'd prefer to take you shopping though."
I stood there, completely overwhelmed. Despite the past, I was still pretty new to this girl stuff, and this was an overwhelming amount of luxury clothes. I didn't even know where to start.
Julia smiled at my expression, and let me soak it in for a minute. "Follow me," she eventually said, and led me towards one of the racks.
"Don said he wanted to go for simple glam, as if that's not an oxymoron," she waited for my laugh, but settled for my quirky smile.
"Measurements," she continued a second later, as if the thought had just occurred to her. She picked up a measuring tape from the top of one of the racks and approached me. "Arms up, spread them like this."
I did what she said, raising my arms until my body was shaped like a T. She then took the tape and started measuring me across my bust and below my bra.
"Not much up top yet huh?" She asked me with a wicked smile.
Embarrassed once again, I nodded before saying "Most of it's the bra."
"It's okay, Sarah," she said reassuringly. "Everyone ages differently. They'll come along soon enough."
She continued to take my measurements, writing them down on a small pad designed for the purpose. Then she started searching through the racks for specific items.
"Jeans," she said, dropping a pair of dark jeans on a table. "Top," and a red top was added to the pile. "And shoes," a pair of white tennis shoes joined them.
"Try these on," Julia said while handing me the pile she had created. "I'll get the glam ready."
I took the clothes, and looked around for a place to change.
"Dressing rooms are over there," Julia was pointing to a couple of doors along one of the walls. I thanked her and headed for the doors.
The jeans were a dark blue, but weren't unlike any of the other jeans my mom had bought me. They were tighter than my male jeans of course, but not uncomfortable. The red top was gorgeous. I was starting to get an appreciation for female clothing, and I knew I wanted to keep this top. It was fitted tight to my body, showing off the small breasts I had boosted by the bras my mom had purchased. The capped sleeves had a small ruffle to them that didn't change the shape too much, but added a nice definition to them. The shoes were...normal. I don't know what else to say, because there wasn't anything really spectacular about the white sneakers.
Once I had everything on I looked into the mirror in the dressing room. Once again I was gorgeous. Sarah Carerra could be a sensation even if her singing was horrible, I thought.
I stepped out of the dressing room where I found Julia waiting with more things to put on. She stepped up to me and looked me over, checking the fit before motioning for me to twirl around slowly.
"Perfect," she said and handed me a black belt with a silver highlight running the length. "Put this on."
I took the belt from her and looped it around my waist. Once I had it on she handed me a white vest. She had a pair of silver hoop earrings in her hands, looking at me expectantly while I finished putting on the vest.
"I can't wear the earrings," I told her in a downcast tone. They looked really cool.
"Oh," she said, surprised. "How come?"
"I got my ears pierced on Saturday."
She looked surprised at this information, and raised her eyebrows in question.
I sighed at her. "I didn't really get into the whole girly thing until recently." Oddly enough, it was the truth.
Her smile widened at this news. "Oho! A tomboy turned glam queen. You're going to be a fun client!"
Julia had taken me to get my makeup and nails done. Somehow Julia had even convinced me to allow a French tip to be applied. It was pretty short, but now I was freaking out about how to hide THAT at school along with my hair and pierced ears.
We then joined Dad back in Julia's office, where he seemed to be awestruck at my new look.
"You look amazing," he told me. "I'm so proud of you."
I was blushing again. I really need to get that under control.
"You've outdone yourself again, Julia!" Dad said to her, but it took him a couple seconds longer to take his eyes off me and meet her gaze. His smile was a mile wide.
After a few minor things he worked out with Julia, we were on our way back to the car.
"Don't take this the wrong way, Megan," Dad said when we were going down in the elevator, alone this time. "But I really like having a beautiful daughter."
I gave him a daughterly hug, realizing the feeling was mutual.
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Dad gave me thumbs up from the control room after I had placed the new set of headphones that Scott had handed me over my ears. It helped to slow down my speeding heart.
Sarah Carerra Chapter 9 - The Debut Album by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: November 23, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 9 - The Debut Album
We were standing in the lobby of Olympic Records, having a good laugh at the name, when Scott came up to us.
"Mr. Campbell," he said while extending his hand towards my dad. "It's good to see you again."
"Good morning, Scott," my dad said while taking his hand in a firm grip. After he had released the handshake he gestured to me. "You remember Sarah?"
Scott looked down at me (he's quite tall) and smiled, extending his arm again. "Ms. Carerra, it's nice to see you again. You look exceptionally good this morning."
I felt myself blushing again while I limply took his hand. ‘If I keep blushing every time someone compliments me, I'm never going to make it in this industry’ I thought. Then again, this blush may have something to do with the fact that he knew my secret, and not the Sarah Carerra one.
"If you'll follow me, I'll lead you to the conference room where the meeting will take place," he said, looking back at my dad. He nodded and we followed him through the halls of the record company and into a small conference room.
There were two guys sitting at the table, joking with each other when we walked in. They stood up when they saw me, and walked around the table towards where we had entered.
"Ms. Carerra," the older one said. He looked to be in his 50's with graying hair and wearing a well-tailored suit. "My name is Matt Thompson. I'm the Director of Talent." He gestured to the other man, in his late twenties. "This is my son, Max, our lead Marketing agent."
"Pleased to meet you," Max said while extending his hand. I shook it and then his father's.
"Thank you for this opportunity," I said to them, and their nods seemed to indicate that it was their privilege to have me here instead of the other way around.
"The honor is ours," Matt voiced my thoughts before gesturing to the table. "Please have a seat, this shouldn't take too long."
That statement worried me a bit, but Dad still seemed to be enthusiastic, so I guess it wasn't surprising to him. We took our seats, with Matt, Max, and Scott on one side of the table, and my dad and I on the other side.
"Now," Matt said. "We are extremely honored to have you here with us today, Ms. Carerra. Can I call you Sarah?" I nodded.
"Thank you, Sarah," he continued. "We enjoyed your demo CD immensely. We've been looking for a fresh new face like yours for a while, and we believe that you've got a long career ahead of you. You received the contract details, Mr. Campbell?"
"Yes," my dad replied. "We agree with all of the terms listed in revision 2 of the contract, like we discussed on the phone."
"Excellent," Matt said and removed a stack of papers from a briefcase on the table. "We'll just need you to sign these contracts and then we can get started on your new career."
It took us about twenty minutes to sign all of the papers we needed to sign. I still didn't know the terms of the contract, and was slightly upset that Dad knew without telling me, but I trusted his judgment.
"Now for the fun stuff," Matt said after he had replaced his copies of the contract back into his briefcase. "We'll break for lunch, but this afternoon we'd like you to re-record Intuition. We want to get your name and voice out quickly, and we'll make this your first single and hopefully have it on the radio by next week."
That stunned me! I didn't think I would be singing quite so quickly, let alone getting on the radio!
"You've also got a photo shoot at four this afternoon," Max interjected when his father had finished. "We need to get some publicity photos and a picture to use as the album art for your single."
"Is that okay with you two?" Matt asked, but it didn't really seem like a question we could say no to.
My dad nodded while I sat there, stunned! After getting my dad's approval they all turned to me. "Yes," I told them. "I'm just surprised it's happening so fast."
"Don't worry, kid," Matt said. It felt demeaning to be called a kid. "You'll do fine."
Scott led us to the building’s cafeteria, but told us he wouldn't be able to join us. We said our goodbyes and walked in to get some food.
There were quite a few people sitting at the many tables, most wearing business attire. But there were two other people dressed more like me, and one of them was Daren Stockard! I felt shocked to see a famous singer in here! He wasn't much older than me, 19 I think, but he already had a couple of platinum albums.
He looked up at us as we entered, and seemed intrigued at the sight, which only worried me more.
We got some food, not bad really, and were talking while we ate at an empty table. My dad was telling me about the contract details, but I didn't understand everything he was saying. All I knew was that there were way more zeros involved than I thought there would be! Unfortunately, Dad felt that I needed to be fiscally responsible before I would be able to use my share of the money (even though he's my dad, he was still getting a percentage for himself). He wasn't going to let me touch most of it for a while.
When we were nearly finished a shadow fell over the table. Turning around I saw Daren standing there! I hate to admit I acted like a giggly fan girl, but I did. I mean, he does have some very good songs.
"Hi," he said to me, and somehow managed to acknowledge my dad at the same time. "My name's Daren."
When I was able to catch my breath, I responded, "Sarah Carerra."
"Sarah Carerra," he said, musing the name over in his mind. "That's a very lovely name for a very lovely girl."
Dangit! I was blushing again! And in front of Daren Stockard too!
"I haven't seen you around before," he said with a smile. "Where are you from?"
I looked over at Dad for a second. We'd talked about Sarah's background story, and it didn't differ much from my own. He looked slightly amused at this exchange though. I was worried he would be one of those dads who are too overprotective about his daughters, but he seemed to be calm and rational. Then again, it could just be for show.
"I'm from L.A." I told him. Before he had a chance to ask where in L.A., I continued. "I just signed with Olympic this morning."
"Well it's nice to have you here," he said like he owned the place. "I'm sorry I can't talk longer. I have to get back to the studio. I just wanted to introduce myself."
He smiled at me, causing me to smile back.
"It was nice to meet you, Sarah," he said. "I look forward to hearing some of your work."
"It was nice to meet you too, Daren," I replied, and with a grin he turned and headed out of the cafeteria.
"He's too old for you," Dad said moments later.
Dad was leading me down the hall toward the studios. He'd been here with clients enough times to know where to go, but we weren't certain which studio we were supposed to be in.
Fortunately the receptionist in the studio lobby was able to point us to the correct one, mentioning that Mr. Thompson and his son were already in there.
"Sorry," Dad said when we entered the studio. "We weren't sure which studio we were meeting you in."
"That's okay," Matt replied while looking at his watch. "You're earlier than we expected you anyway." For some reason, I didn't quite believe him.
Scott was also in the studio. From what my dad was saying he was going to be our contact with the label. I just hoped working with someone who knew both of my secrets wouldn't turn out badly.
"Alright, Sarah," Scott said, taking charge. "We've recorded some new background for Intuition, and we'd like to update the vocals you gave us for the demo. We were hoping to get some more emotion out of it. Come listen to this."
He motioned me over to the mixing board and handed me a pair of headphones. I put them on and waited for the song to start.
I liked what they did to it. They added some remix to the song that I thought would make it sound better, and I could clearly hear the new background vocals. I just hoped I would be able to deliver my part.
"I like it," I voiced my thoughts to Scott when the song had ended.
"Good," he said, but I felt that he was patronizing me, and that my opinion didn't really matter on how the song was going to sound. That didn't bode well for the future if I had no say in my own songs. I hoped it was just because they had already put so much work into this one.
"Matt and Max are here to see how it turns out." Scott said while showing me into the sound studio proper. "But don't worry. You've already got the contract."
That made me laugh and worry at the same time. I didn't know if there were any ‘outs’ built into the contract. Dad gave me thumbs up from the control room after I had placed the new set of headphones that Scott had handed me over my ears. It helped to slow down my speeding heart.
It took me a few tries to get into the groove. I'd only read through the song for a short period of time last Saturday, and I wasn't remembering all of the words right away. They were coming back quickly, but I still felt like I was letting everybody down.
"Sorry," I said after the fourth attempt. "I didn't get to learn the words very well before the demo Saturday."
"You're doing great," Scott told me. He was manning the mixing board today, even though it wasn't his regular job. "It's always rough with a new song, but you're getting better every time."
I smiled at his words of encouragement, and went on to deliver a nearly perfect rendition.
It took us nearly 45 minutes to get it the way Scott, Matt, and Max wanted it. I'd get one part of the song down and then they would have me work on another part until they were happy with it and then move on again. It was more tiring than I thought it would be.
"Great job, Sarah," Scott finally said. "That's a wrap."
I smiled, took off my headphones and headed for the control booth.
"Great job, Sarah," Dad echoed, wrapping me in a hug before the door had even closed. But it wasn't a regular father/daughter one that I was starting to get used to. Instead it was a quick chaste congratulatory hug. I immediately felt sad that I couldn't express my true feelings with him right then. I was starting to see the downside of the Sarah Carerra secret.
I got congratulations from Scott and Matt also, and Max managed to follow in my father's footsteps with a hug. It felt really weird giving another guy a hug, at least one I wasn't related to.
"Don't forget," he said when he let me go. "You've got a photo shoot at four. Don has the address and I'll see you there."
I nodded, and the three guys left the control room, leaving me alone with my dad.
I did get that wonderful father/daughter hug before we left.
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My heart started to beat really fast then. I couldn't go over to his house dressed like a girl! Johnny would see right through the disguise immediately!
Sarah Carerra Chapter 10 - Win a Dinner Date With Sarah Carerra by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: November 30, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 10 - Win a Dinner Date With Sarah Carerra
Scott caught us before we left the building, and he looked anxious.
"Before you go," he addressed me. "I'd like to invite you and your parents over to my house for dinner. Would you be willing to come?"
My heart started to beat really fast then. I couldn't go over to his house dressed like a girl! Johnny would see right through the disguise immediately!
Scott noticed my distress, and he looked guilty at the request. "I'm sorry," he said surprising me. "I told my wife about you, because we don't keep secrets from each other, and she wanted to meet you."
I think I was hyperventilating now too! Didn't my dad make him sign one of those non-disclosure thingies? Why would he tell someone else, even if it was his wife?
"You don't have to come if you don't want to," he said. "I'm sorry I asked."
He looked positively distraught now. I'd never seen him act like that before. He'd always been so calm, collected, and in control of the situation.
"We'd love to come," I heard Dad say, nearly giving me a heart attack. Didn't he know the dangers involved with agreeing? "What time?"
"Is 7:30 too late for you?" Scott said feeling relieved despite my continued distress.
"No, that would work for us," my dad replied, finalizing my doom.
"Is..." I started, and the two grownups immediately looked back at me, surprised I was still in distress apparently. "Is Johnny going to be there?"
A look of understanding seemed to pass between both of them at the same time. Finally they understood the real problem with this situation.
"No," Scott finally said, and my heart finally started to slow. "He's got a date tonight, and probably won't come home until later in the evening."
I sat down on one of the nearby benches, trying to catch my breath. Scott made some excuse to leave and said he would see us later that evening.
"But why would he tell his wife?" I practically yelled the question at my dad. We were driving around town, trying to pass the time we had before the photo shoot.
"Honey," he said in a tone that stated I didn't understand. "When you're older and find a husband, you'll understand why keeping a secret from each other is a bad idea."
I choked at those words. The last thing I expected my father to talk to me about was a future husband! He immediately realized what he had said, and he turned red. I mean, I've never seen my dad that color except for that one time when my brother broke his 9-iron.
"I'm sorry," he said a while later. "It's so hard to remember that you aren't really my little girl."
"Why?" I asked him. I was sincerely interested in his answer.
He struggled to find the words for a few minutes. We sat in silence. I was willing to let him find the right answer, and I didn't want to rush him.
"You're so good at it," he finally said. "I mean, it's almost like you've always been a girl. Every time you dress up it's like this. It's been so hard trying to treat you like my son, even when you were living as a boy."
His statement really floored me! He thought of me as his daughter too? First Mom confessed that thought to me on our way to the salon Monday night, and now Dad was doing the same thing! Was I really a girl already? I was starting to wish that this was one of the weeks I was supposed to see Mary.
Struggling with this new information, I tried to get back to the original discussion. "But this was a business secret. It wouldn't have anything to do with his marriage."
My dad just stared at me again with that face that said I didn't understand.
There was a crowd at the entrance to the building where the photo shoot was set to take place. It looked like they had a lot of cameras and were waiting for somebody.
"Uh, oh," Dad said as he pulled the car into a parking spot. "Paparazzi."
"Paparazzi!?" I freaked. "Why would they be here?"
"It's not likely they're here for you," Dad said, which is exactly what I was hoping to hear. "But that doesn't mean they won't jump at the chance to get your picture."
I was very uncomfortable walking towards the entrance with my dad. I didn't think I was ready for this kind of attention.
Someone eventually noticed us, and then they all turned towards us. A couple of flashes went off, making me even more nervous.
"Don! Who's your new client?" I heard one of them yell. Luckily my dad just smiled and led me through the crowd, flashes going off left and right.
"She's so green!" someone else commented when I flinched at another flash. "She'll never last in this industry." There was a lot of laughter following that statement.
Eventually we made it inside the building without much hassle. I was still nervous while we walked towards the elevator, expecting another one to pop out of some hiding place to get another picture.
The photo shoot went a lot better after that. It was short. The label wanted to use the outfit that Julia had picked out for me this morning, and within a half hour they had all the shots they felt they needed to get my name out. Max told me that we would do a more comprehensive set later this week or early next week to create a full press kit, whatever that was.
Whoever the paparazzi had been waiting for must have left during the shoot, because nobody was outside when we exited the building. Soon we were on our way home, and the only thing left to worry about was dinner at the Crawford's.
I was in my room doing homework when I heard the doorbell ring. I wasn't expecting anyone so I left it for someone else to get. I was still dressed as Sarah, since we would be heading for dinner soon.
"Megan," I heard my mom say from my door a short while later. "Emily and Ethan are here to see you."
‘Of course the freak out part of this day isn't over,’ I thought when I felt my heart start pounding again. Then I realized that they weren't there with Mom. It was odd that she hadn't told my friends to come on back to my room, but my mom is a smart woman.
"Can you help me?" I quickly asked, removing the "glam" so to speak. Mom nodded and as soon as I had the vest and belt off, she helped remove the wig and let my hair down. I'd have to put it all on again soon, but at least the secret would be safe.
Mom took the wig and the clothes to Sarah's room while I nervously approached the living room where they were waiting. When they saw me, both of their eyes widened.
"Wow!" Emily said first, followed quickly by Ethan's nod. "You look even better than your photo!"
"And hotter," Ethan added. Emily hit him before I got the chance.
I smiled at their compliments, and I was happy to note that I wasn't blushing for once. Maybe I was starting to get used to this? I didn’t know for sure.
"Tell us about your day!" Emily said, dragging me to a seat on the couch.
"Well," I started, not sure how much I could tell them. "It's been pretty interesting. I met with that image consultant this morning, she gave me these clothes, and then we went over to the record company. I signed a contract!"
Emily shrieked and wrapped me in a hug. "That's so awesome!" she said. "When are you going to be on the radio?"
I almost said they were trying to get me on the radio next week, but realized I couldn't tell them that. Sarah was getting on the radio next week. Megan would probably never be on the radio.
"I don't know," I explained. "They liked my voice, but they said it could be a couple of months before I was ready." I didn't like lying to my friends. Hopefully this would explain why I wasn’t getting a song anytime soon.
"Bummer," Ethan said. "It would have been cool to hear someone I know."
"Soon enough," I said, trying to give them hope.
"Did you meet anybody famous?" Emily asked, and when I thought of Daren I knew I wouldn't get away with not telling her.
"Yeah," I said, but she already knew the answer from my facial expression. "I met Daren Stockard at lunch! He's so hot."
Emily and Ethan were staring at me in shock. What had I said? I replayed my words in my mind but didn't know what had set them off.
"Hot?" Ethan asked looking sick.
Oops. "Well, uh," I said, but didn't know how to explain my feelings. I hadn't even realized that I thought he was hot until that moment. Why would I even think a guy was hot? I was supposed to be looking at girls. Instead, I was sitting there dressed as a girl. It was starting to get confusing.
I shrugged. I couldn't come up with an explanation that made sense. Ethan didn't seem to like that reaction, making a face that showed his disgust to where my life seemed to be headed.
"Sorry," I told him. I don't think it helped though. But I did have a sudden thought that might help him turn his feelings around.
"I also met Sarah Carerra," I told them. They looked at me blankly though.
"Who?" they said in almost unison.
"She's another up and comer. They signed her a while ago and her first single is supposed to be on the radio next week." I hoped that my lie would help distance myself from Sarah and provide some relief to Ethan. "She was also very hot."
That brightened his face. Nothing like a hot girl to take your mind off your troubles.
"How old is she," Emily asked, and Ethan gave her a look saying 'why should it matter?'
"She's our age," I told her. "She's a beautiful blonde girl who looks kind of like Hannah Montana."
Ethan seemed to be already smitten, even though he hadn't even met or seen her. I hoped this plan didn't backfire.
We talked about my day for a few more minutes. I left out the part about recording a song or the photo shoot, so it wasn't nearly as exciting as what had really happened.
"What are you doing tonight?" Emily eventually asked when I had described everything I could.
"I have to go over to the Crawfords for dinner," I said glumly. I would much rather hang out with them and do something fun.
"Why?" Ethan asked.
"His dad invited us. He told his wife about my secret," I said with a frown. "She wants to meet me."
Emily looked horrified at this announcement, and I certainly agreed with her feelings.
"Scott promised me that Johnny wouldn't be there, at least. I'd hate to think about what would happen if he saw me dressed as Megan."
They both nodded.
Later that evening we were walking up the walk to the Crawfords door. Even though they knew my secret, or maybe because they knew it, I was really, really nervous. At least I had both of my parents with me this time.
Dad rang the doorbell, and moments later Scott answered the door.
"Sarah!" he greeted me. "I'm so glad you could make it!"
He let us in and gave us a brief tour of the first floor, of which I had already seen. Then he led us into the dining room, where his wife was finishing the final touches on the food.
"Honey, are you ready?" he asked her when we entered.
"Almost," she said, but turned around to greet us.
Scott turned back to me. "Sarah, this is my wife Connie. Connie, this is Sarah Carerra, her agent Don Campbell, and his wife Linda."
"Pleased to meet you, ma'am," I said, taking the hand she offered me in greeting.
"The pleasure is mine," she said with a wink. "You look absolutely stunning."
Well, I guess I wasn't completely over my blushing ordeal. I could feel the heat rising once again.
"I'm sorry," she said seeing my embarrassment. "But you aren't anything like I pictured you would be."
I guess she wanted me to wear the blush all night.
The meal was very good. Johnny's little sister Kaitlin joined us, and even though I wasn't a star yet, I think she became my biggest fan. Scott talked me into singing part of Intuition for them, and everybody seemed to be impressed with my singing abilities.
But the scariest part of the night occurred while we were getting ready to leave. I was standing near the front door, waiting for my dad to finish talking to Scott, my mom to finish talking to Connie, and me wishing that Kaitlin had an earlier bedtime.
The front door suddenly flew open, and Johnny stepped inside. We were staring at each other face to face for a few moments. I was scared for my life! He was going to see right through the Sarah disguise and beat me to death!
But instead, he seemed to be looking at me with lust! That was even worse!
"Hi," he finally said, finding his voice first.
"Hi," I was able to return shyly. I was blushing once again, and at the worst possible time! I was sure he was going to misinterpret it as a wrong signal.
"Dad didn't say he was having anyone as beautiful as you over tonight," he said, glaring at his father behind me before returning to my eyes with a sweetness I didn't fully trust. I didn't think Debbie, who was his current girlfriend, would be too happy about what he was doing.
"Johnny," his dad said in a tone that seemed to be both greeting and warning. "We didn't expect you home so soon."
There was anger in his eyes now. No doubt he was feeling left out of the dinner party. "Debbie and I had a fight," he said, which didn't bode well for me.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Scott said. "If you'd step out of the way our guests were just leaving."
The anxiousness in his voice led me to believe that he was worried about Johnny learning my secret also. No doubt it would be bad for my career, but I hoped that there was more to his anxiousness than that.
Johnny, unfortunately, stood his ground. Extending his hand, he introduced himself. "I'm Johnny."
Not knowing what else to do, I took his hand. "Sarah," was all I managed.
He grinned at me lustfully, and I was surprised at how open he was in his gaze with his parents standing right behind me. It really made me feel like a piece of meat, more than any of the other admiring looks I had received throughout the day. I could deal with those, and had when dressing up as Megan before, but this was something else entirely.
"We better get going," Dad said while stepping forward, saving me from whatever Johnny had planned. "Ms. Carerra has had a long day, and I'm sure she's ready to call it a night."
I nodded, hoping it would help his story, and he managed to get between Johnny and me, breaking whatever tractor beam he seemed to have me in. I took a deep breath and stepped around my dad, who was acting as a shield between me and Johnny, and through the front door.
My parents were quick to follow, and the door shut right behind us. The arguing that started immediately on the other side was more than I wanted to worry about and I thought I could hear a young girl singing "Johnny and Sarah, sitting in a tree.”
"He definitely didn't recognize you," Mom told me after we had gotten into the car and were on our way home. I had to give her that point.
"Maybe for now, but I have a feeling this isn't the last I've seen of him."
"That may be true," Mom said. She was sitting in the back with me instead of her usual seat up front, wrapping me in a warm hug. I didn't realize until recently just how comforting a hug could be. "But you look a lot different as Sarah, which is the whole point, you know. He may never make the connection."
I could only hope.
I fell asleep that night worrying about the upcoming day of school. Between my pierced ears, the girly haircut, my new French tips, and now the encounter with Johnny, I didn't know how I was going to survive.
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“Campbell!” I heard someone say behind me. I was then spun around out of my control. I ended up face to face with Johnny Crawford.
Emily gasped and my heart skipped a beat! He was staring at me like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing! He’d made the connection! He knew I was Sarah Carerra! Sarah Carerra
Chapter 11 - Boy or Girl? That is the Question by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: December 7, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 11 - Boy or Girl? That is the Question
My mom wouldn’t let me wear gloves to school Thursday morning. Even though it was late May and the temperature was high, I needed to hide those French tips! If I couldn’t cut them (she wouldn’t let me do that either), gloves would have been the next best option. People would think I was weird, but that wasn’t anything new. It would be better to be weird than to be beaten up for looking like a girl!
Emily and Ethan both laughed when I told them my dilemma while we walked to school.
“Forget about it, Megan,” she said, even though I had been dressed as Brett. I glared at her. “Sorry, Brett. If they think you’re a girl and haven’t beaten you up yet, just go with it. Let them think that you’re a girl. It’ll help next year anyway.”
I guess there was some logic behind her statement, but I didn’t think it could possibly be that easy.
It started during first period. I was sitting there, minding my own business, when this guy I hardly knew leaned over to me.
“Are you really a girl?” he asked. I just sighed and put my head on my desk.
“I knew you were a girl, dude!”
“Hey, you are a girl! I knew it.”
“You go, girl!”
“The tomboy’s finally coming out of her shell, huh?”
“This is ridiculous!” We were eating lunch at our normal table. Ethan, Emily, Kathy, Jane, and Ashley were all laughing at what had happened to me all morning. “Don’t laugh, it’s not funny!”
“It is!” was their reply when they had calmed down.
“But how can they think that I’m a girl? I spent last semester in PE with some of them!” That statement just started them laughing again.
If passing was this hard on my fourth day of school, how was I going to finish the rest of the year?
“I hate to be the one to ask,” Kathy said. “But are you sure you’re not a girl?”
I grimaced. I honestly did not know the answer to her question anymore.
“It’s okay,” Emily said, and she wrapped me in a comforting hug. “Just two and a half more weeks; it’ll be over soon.”
“Not soon enough,” was all I could say.
I was retrieving my books from my locker before the lunch period ended. Emily was with me because we shared our next class together. The others had left to make it to their own classes.
“Campbell!” I heard someone say behind me. I was then spun around out of my control. I ended up face to face with Johnny Crawford.
Emily gasped and my heart skipped a beat! He was staring at me like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing! He’d made the connection! He knew I was Sarah Carerra!
He started to say something. I knew my life was over! But he stopped short, and his expression changed. Oh no, I thought! He didn’t know, but now he’s figured it out! How unlucky could I be?
“Why the hell are you dressed like a girl?” he asked. Oddly, relief washed over me at his question. He didn’t know! He hadn’t made the connection! I needed to get out of there before he did.
“It’s, uh,” I faltered. “A long story?” It had come out as a question, not an answer.
I stood there, scared to death for six long seconds, wondering if I would be able to run faster than he could. I wondered if I should knee him in the groin before running. I wondered what I could possibly do to live through the day.
He waved off whatever he had been thinking, perhaps buying my lame excuse.
“Anyway,” he said, unsure of himself. “What were your parents doing at my house last night?”
“Having dinner?” I replied meekly. If I was truthful, maybe he’d let me go.
“I know that, you idiot,” he said. “But why? What were they doing there with Sarah?”
At least I knew for sure that he didn’t think I was Sarah. That had helped me relax more than I thought it would.
“Um,” I started, still unsure of myself. “My dad is Sarah’s agent. Your dad asked him to come along too.”
Johnny stepped back. I relaxed a bit more. “Do you know Sarah? Can you get me her number?”
Oh crap! Once again this was even worse than getting pounded to death. There was no way I was going to give him Sarah’s number! My number! It just wasn’t going to happen!
“I...I’ve met her,” I told him. “But I don’t know her number or anything.”
“Look, dude,” he said, looking desperate. “You gotta get it for me. Check your dad’s cell phone or something.”
I was shaking my head before I even realized it. “No way. I enjoy my freedom. He’d ground me for a year if I did that. He’s very protective of his clients.”
Emily nodded her head in agreement with me. Austin had learned that lesson very clearly when he’d tried getting a number before, and I wasn’t in any rush to repeat his mistake.
“Can’t you get her number from your dad?” I asked him, hoping the answer was no.
“I tried, man,” he said, this time with a pained expression. He really seemed to be smitten with her. Too bad he didn’t stand a chance! “He said I wasn’t to go anywhere near her.”
“Maybe you should drop it then,” Emily said. “I mean, there must be a reason your dad doesn’t want you near her.”
I thought Johnny was going to smack her for a second. His glare was pretty intense. “I can’t, she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. I have to have her.”
“Have her?” Emily asked. She looked really pissed now. “Girls aren’t “property” for you boys to have, Johnny! If your dad doesn’t want you around her, then stay away! We won’t be helping you to contact her either! Why don’t you grow up?!”
She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me toward class. Johnny was left standing next to my locker with a stunned expression on his face.
“Sarah was there last night?” Emily asked me after we had taken our seats in class. We had a few minutes before the bell rang, giving us time to talk.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I guess Scott is her contact with the label too. He wanted to have dinner with his up and coming female contracts.”
I hated lying to her. She was going to be pissed when she learned the truth.
“I’m glad she was there, though,” I continued. At least this part wasn’t a complete lie. “If she hadn’t been there, Johnny might have noticed me.”
“He didn’t even know you were there?”
“No,” I replied truthfully. Then I had to continue with the half truths. “He never took his eyes off Sarah. He had a fight with Debbie or something, and came home early. We were leaving when he showed up and I slipped out as quickly as I could.”
“Thank goodness for that,” she said as the bell rang. We turned back to our desks and began preparing for class.
“Miss Campbell?” our English teacher asked while looking at me. She was taking roll, and she looked confused. I mean, she had my real name right in front of her, for crying out loud!
“Hey, new girl, what’s your name?”
“Wow, you’re kinda cute!”
School had started to turn into my worst nightmare. I was more than happy for classes to end that day. Someone had even whistled at me while I was walking out!
“It’s over. Forget about them,” Emily had said while we walked home.
“It’s just going to happen again tomorrow,” I argued. She shrugged at that, not really sure how to answer.
We walked in silence most of the way home. Ethan left us at his house and Emily and I continued on to my house.
When we arrived, there was a nice car parked in the driveway. It was a Lexus or something.
It was Julia’s car, I found out moments later. She was talking to my parents in the living room when Emily and I entered the house.
“Oh good,” my mom said. “She’s home.”
Julia looked up at me. She looked confused for a moment, and I realized that I was in boy mode. How would I explain this to her? Mom should have warned me!
“Wow!” she finally said, replacing the confused look with a smile. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were new to the girly thing!”
I blushed and nodded. At least she was still under the impression that I was a girl.
“You don’t even wear makeup to school, huh?” she asked. Her smile was quite large by that point. I got the impression she really liked dressing up tomboys.
Emily looked completely confused. But she was wise enough not to say anything about my true gender. I’d thank her for that later.
“Em, this is my image consultant, Julia,” I told her. A light seemed to go on in her head.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Julia said to her. “But I’m going to have to borrow Megan for the evening. We’re going shopping!”
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It wasn’t until I saw the shocked look on Mom’s face that I realized I was changing in front of two women. But I think she was more shocked to learn that I had been wearing panties to school! Sarah Carerra
Chapter 12 - The Pop Star, the Consultant, and the Wardrobe by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: December 14, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 12 - The Pop Star, the Consultant, and the Wardrobe
“Can I come?” I knew that would be Emily’s first question. I also knew that the answer was going to devastate her.
“I’m afraid not,” came the response. Surprisingly, it was Julia who had said it. “I need S...Megan alone.”
Julia had talked to my dad, apparently. She at least knew that I was trying to keep Sarah a secret.
Emily slumped immediately, along with my mood. I hated keeping secrets from her. I nearly broke the big secret then and there. If my dad hadn’t been glaring at me, I would have.
“I’m sorry, Em,” I told her instead. She looked at me, and when she saw how upset I was, her mood brightened. At least she was aware that I wanted her to be there.
“It’s okay,” she said dejectedly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I gave her a comforting hug before she walked back out the front door.
“I can’t do this, Daddy!” I turned on him. “She’s my best friend!”
I was surprised when I noticed I was crying. Dad wrapped me in the same comforting hug I had just given Emily.
“I know, Princess,” he comforted. “But we need to establish your career before telling her.”
“Why?” I moaned into his chest. It wasn’t fair to Emily.
“You’re going to have to trust me on this, Megan.”
He held me for a few minutes, and let me calm my emotions.
“Get dressed,” he finally said when I released him. “We need to get Sarah’s wardrobe taken care of. You’ve got some important events coming up, and she needs something to wear.”
“Like what?” I asked him.
“Well,” he started, but then hesitated.
“Tell her, Don,” Mom said. I started to worry then.
“Tomorrow you have a photo shoot for the press kit Max mentioned yesterday,” my dad said. He hesitated before continuing.
“Tell her, Don,” Mom repeated. “She has a right to know what you did.”
I glanced at my mom. She did not look happy.
“Saturday night is the Tween Awards,” he finally said. “I’ve got another client who has been nominated for Best Male Artist.”
“And?” I asked, when I realized there was something going on I didn’t want to know about.
“He needs a date.”
“What?!” I screamed!
“Honey,” Dad said. His face looked pained. “This is good publicity! For both of you!”
“You could have asked first!” I yelled back. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet!”
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “It came out before I thought about what I was doing. I told him about a new up and coming singer, and he was delighted to have you as his date.”
I didn’t know what to say! I was still learning how to be a girl! I didn’t think I was ready to go on a date! Especially on a date that was going to be so public!
“Who is it?” I finally asked.
“Josh Holliday,” my dad replied. I started to hyperventilate before the blackness encompassed me.
I came to on a couch I’d never sat on before, in a room I had never seen before.
“Oh good, you’re awake,” I heard Julia say. She sounded annoyed. “Come on, get dressed and we’ll get going.”
“Where am I?” I asked. I looked around the room. It looked a lot like the spare bedroom, but it had been decorated.
“Sarah’s room,” my mom replied. “Your dad had it furnished while you were at school today.”
I looked around again. He’d managed to furnish it exactly like he said he would. It was a small sitting room/dressing room combined into one. There was a flat screen TV on one wall, a large vanity on another, and the entire theme seemed to emulate the style that they had thrown at me the day before. The room was simple but glamorous, and definitely feminine. It seemed to scream teenage pop princess.
“Wow!” I exclaimed! I was truly impressed!
“Be nice to him, honey,” Mom said. “He was only trying to do what is best for your career.”
I thought about her words before I responded. “I know, Mom, but it surprised me. I mean, Josh Holliday!”
My mom chuckled. Josh Holliday was currently one of the most desired teen heartthrobs by girls 12-18. He’d topped the charts more than once in the last year. Going out with him on my first date did not seem like the easiest way to start dating.
“You’ll be fine,” Mom said. “It’s only for publicity. Nothing else has to come from it.”
I nodded and she kissed my forehead. “Now get dressed; you’re wasting Julia’s time.”
“Oh my gosh!” I’d almost forgotten about shopping. “I’m so sorry, Julia!”
“It’s alright,” she said with a friendly smile. “I brought you some clothes to wear.”
She handed me a package, and I opened it up to find another set of clothes. I started undressing my boy’s clothes immediately.
It wasn’t until I saw the shocked look on Mom’s face that I realized I was changing in front of two women. But I think she was more shocked to learn that I had been wearing panties to school!
I shrugged at her unasked question, and then turned to the clothes Julia had brought.
I quickly slipped on the snug white jeans. They were tighter than anything I’d worn before, but oddly comfortable at the same time. I then slipped into the bra and the tight yellow tee that was with it.
“You look excellent,” Mom told me and gave me a hug. “I’m glad you’re being more girly, honey.”
I blushed, but smiled back.
“I’m going to teach you how to dress, Sarah,” Julia interrupted our moment. I turned to pay attention. “The idea is to be simple glam.”
She waved her hand up and down my body. “For instance, this jean and tee set is very simple.”
She opened another box. “But with a few extra pieces, we can glam it up.”
She pulled a white vest out of the box. It looked very expensive. “Put this on.”
She handed me the vest, and I slipped it on. It too was quite snug, but it was light-weight. The vest was similar to the one she had given me to wear yesterday. It was cut slightly different, and the material had a different feel to it. It looked more casual than the other one. It had some blue striping to help highlight the vest, and seemed to work well together over the yellow top.
“One or two glam pieces, no more,” Julia said sternly. “That is rule #1.
“For this outfit, we’re using the vest, much like we did yesterday.” She reached back into the box and pulled out a pair of white strappy sandals with a slight heel. “These shoes are your second piece.”
I nodded and slipped them on my feet.
“See how easy it is to go from Megan to Sarah?” Julia asked. I nodded my understanding of the concept. “Take off the vest, and you have Megan again. Remember that if you need to make a quick change for some reason.”
I walked over to the mirror and took a look at myself. Megan looked fantastic. I always thought that Sarah looked much better, but I was beginning to realize that wasn’t the case. The blonde hair made me look more exotic, but my beauty was not diminished in any way without it.
I smiled.
“I’m guessing you wear a wig for the hair?” Julia asked. I nodded again and turned towards the table where we had been keeping the wigs. They weren’t there!
“Mom?” I questioned, looking at her for an explanation.
She smiled while rising from the couch. “The wigs are your most vital piece of the disguise, Megan. Your dad and I felt it would be a good idea to keep them hidden to prevent people from seeing them.”
I guess that made sense. She walked over to an armoire that was standing against one of the walls. I followed her. There was a keypad on the door.
“The code is 4357,” she said, entering the numbers. I heard a click and one of the doors opened slightly. She pulled it open and inside was the collection of wigs we had purchased, safe from the prying eyes of any visitors to the room.
“Wow,” Julia commented when she saw the collection. “You guys are really serious about this Hannah Montana thing.” Mom and I could only nod.
“Which one should I wear?” I asked Julia.
She thought over the options on display, before pointing at the one I had worn yesterday. “I think we better use this one until your image has been established. Once everyone can recognize you, we can start playing with the other styles.”
A few minutes later my hair had been pinned up, the wig was on, and we were on our way to the shops.
“I like this one,” I commented while picking up another “glam” piece. Julia nodded.
“You’re catching on quickly,” Julia replied.
Julia had driven us to a shopping area I had never been to before. It wasn’t Rodeo Drive, but all of the shops were upscale. There were a lot of designer shops and prominent names in every direction.
We’d started with the simple: tops, jeans, some dresses. She’d been adamant that a girl my age didn’t need to be showing off lingerie though. I was grateful to skip that piece of shopping.
Then we had moved on to the glam pieces. They were about as expensive as I thought they would be. I was glad that I didn’t have to front the cash for them, because my dad had done that. I was upset to learn he was going to take the money from my earnings until he was repaid, but as he told me, “That’s business”.
We’d even picked up a beautiful little black dress for the awards show Saturday. Thoughts about going on a date were still upsetting my stomach slightly, but I was excited to wear the dress.
“Thanks, Julia,” I told her when the trip seemed to be coming to an end. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“That’s what I get paid for,” she said with a smile. I frowned at the reminder.
“Look,” she said when she saw my disappointment. “You’re a very beautiful girl. If your singing is anywhere near as good as you look, your face is going to be all over the place in the next few weeks. I’m just happy for the opportunity to work with the next big teen sensation.”
I blushed, and noticed that a number of people around us had turned to look at me.
Julia noticed too. She seemed to enjoy marketing me about as much as Dad did.
“Sarah Carerra,” she made sure everyone around us heard my name. “You’re going to be famous.”
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“MISTER Campbell,” Principal Hall said after I had taken a seat in front of his desk. His emphasis on Mister didn’t bode well for me. “Care to explain what you are doing?” Sarah Carerra
Chapter 13 - Problems with Authority by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: December 21, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 13 - Problems with Authority
The next morning really had me in a depression. When I dressed in my boy clothes after being glammed up the night before, I immediately felt the disappointment that Emily and Ethan said came upon me every time I left Megan behind.
Megan was still there. The last few days had shown me just how much of Megan there was in my everyday life. Other people could see her too. But it felt different to me, and I didn’t like it.
“Come home right after school,” Dad was telling me over breakfast. “We need to be at the studio by about 3:45.”
I nodded, finished my breakfast, and headed out the door to meet Emily.
“How was last night?” she asked while we walked towards Ethan’s house.
“It was fun,” I told her truthfully. “But I really missed you. I wish you could be a part of this.”
“Me too,” she said forlornly. “I don’t understand why I can’t.”
She looked at me, and I wished I could tell her the truth. Instead I had to settle for another half-truth.
“I don’t either,” I told her. “Dad thinks that we need to establish my career before I start bringing friends along.”
That news really depressed her. I guess she had some idea of how long that could take.
“So it could be months before I get to go?” she asked.
I could only nod. But the tears in my eyes surprised me. “I’m so sorry, Emily. I want you there so badly!”
She stopped walking and turned to me. We hugged each other, which helped release the emotions we both had pent up.
“I don’t know why my dad wants it this way,” I told her. “He won’t even let my mom come.”
“Are you serious?” she asked. I could only nod. “Wow! That makes me feel better at least. I mean, now I know it’s not just me.”
I smiled back at her. At least we had come to an understanding.
Everyone stared at me again while I walked down the hall to my first period class.
I had come to the conclusion that there was nothing short of dropping my pants that I could do to prove that I was male. Even then, some might wonder.
But the more interesting thing was that I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care if I was seen by others as a girl. With every passing day, I started to feel more accepting of the feminine taunts and jibes that I was getting. Being female seemed like the right thing. Even at school.
But that all had to change, apparently. It would have been too much to ask to live my life in peace.
Halfway through first period I was summoned to the principal’s office. I knew that I hadn’t done anything wrong, so I guessed he was going to talk about my gender.
I was right too.
“MISTER Campbell,” Principal Hall said after I had taken a seat in front of his desk. His emphasis on Mister didn’t bode well for me. “Care to explain what you are doing?”
“I don’t know what you mean, sir,” I told him. I was pretty sure the innocent card wouldn’t work, but I didn’t know what else to tell him.
“Don’t get smart with me, BOY!” he nearly yelled. “I don’t like disruptions in my school, and you are becoming a big disruption!”
His statement confused me. I didn’t think I had been disrupting anything. Sure everybody was treating me more like a girl, but it’s not like I was using the girl’s restroom or anything. I was pretty sure I hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Why is that, sir?” I asked.
“Because you are a boy, but you are dressing in girl’s clothes!” he replied. “That is against the dress code!”
I had to stifle the laugh that had threatened to come out. “But these are boy’s clothes,” I stated instead. He didn’t seem pleased at my response.
He looked at me, perhaps for the first time. I think he was surprised to see that I was telling the truth. I knew I looked feminine, but other than my underwear, I was wearing all boys’ clothes.
“Perhaps,” he relented. “But that doesn’t explain the hair or the pierced ears. You are deliberately trying to make yourself look female, and I won’t stand for it.”
I guess that answered the question of whether anyone had noticed my earrings. But there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t get rid of anything I had done to myself recently, except possibly the French tips. Everything else was meant to help me outside of school. Not to mention the whole Sarah Carerra thing.
I was about to argue against his accusation. I certainly hadn’t deliberately been trying to pass as female at school, for the time being, at least. But before I got the chance, he continued.
“I’m giving you a week’s detention, starting after school,” he stated. Horror filled my face! I had the photo shoot this afternoon, and who knew what else the label would want me to do over the next week!
“I also expect you to cut your hair, your nails, and remove those earrings before school starts on Monday,” he continued.
I most certainly was not going to do any of that! He had no right to decide how I was going to live my life! Mary had been very specific over the last six years about who would make this decision! It certainly wasn’t him!
The smug smile he gave me certainly showed that he felt he had the upper hand. But I had something else on my side. I could only hope it was enough.
“I’m sorry, sir,” I told him in a voice that was a lot calmer than I thought I would have been able to manage. “But I can’t do that.”
“You don’t have a choice, Mr. Campbell.” He still had that smug grin on his face. “Failure to comply will lead to your suspension from this school.”
I don’t know why my circumstances bothered him so much. I knew my parents, my dad especially, would fight what he was doing tooth and nail.
“You are dismissed,” he said, and turned towards some papers on his desk. “I’ll see you after school for detention.”
“I won’t be there,” I said. I made no attempt to move or leave his office. This needed to be resolved now or it would cause problems for my new career.
“What did you say?” he asked incredulously. He stared at me. He tried to intimidate me into changing my decision. But there was more at stake for me here than sitting in a class for an extra hour after school.
“I am contractually obligated to be somewhere this afternoon,” I explained. “I will not be able to attend detention because of these legal requirements.”
I wasn’t completely sure that my contract required me to be there. I did know I was supposed to make every attempt possible to make the events the label asked me to attend. I didn’t know the repercussions for not being there.
“I don’t care about your contractual obligations,” he yelled. “You will be at detention this afternoon.”
I sighed. I knew that there wasn’t anything I could have done to change his mind. I would have to use my secret weapon.
“You’re going to have to talk to my agent about this then,” I told him and reached into my backpack to pull out a business card. “Here’s his number.”
“Your agent?” he asked. He didn’t believe me. He looked at the card and smiled an evil little smile before continuing. “Nice try, Mr. Campbell, but your father can’t talk his way out of this.”
“He doesn’t have to,” I told him. “But, he will be very unhappy if I don’t make my appointment this afternoon.”
The principal stared at the business card for a long moment, deciding if I was telling the truth.
“I’ll wait,” I told him. He sneered but picked up the phone.
He dialed Dad’s number and waited for him to answer.
“Mr. Campbell,” he said a moment later. “I have your son in my office. He’s refusing to attend detention this afternoon or follow the school’s dress code.”
My dad said something I couldn’t make out before the principal continued. “He is violating the dress code by wearing earrings and appearing female.”
I heard my dad’s laugh through the phone, it was that loud.
“I assure you this is no laughing matter, Mr. Campbell,” the principal said. “Failure to comply will lead to suspension.”
They continued to yell back and forth at each other. I sat in my seat, and waited for the conclusion.
Mr. Hall was furious when he hung up the phone. I’m sure his mood didn’t bode well for my future at his school.
“Alright, young man,” he said after he took a moment to calm down. “I will let you out of detention, and your father has convinced me that I cannot make you cut your hair or nails.”
Wow, my dad was good! I would have to thank him later.
“But you are not a female in the eyes of this school, do you understand?” he continued.
“Yes, sir,” I replied. What had my dad told him? “That was never my intention.”
“Good,” he said with that smug smile. “Then you are dismissed.”
“He just let you leave without any punishment?” Ethan asked at lunch. “That doesn’t sound like him.”
“I know!” I said. I couldn’t believe that Dad had talked him out of everything!
“I don’t trust him,” Emily said. I could only agree with her.
“MISTER Brett Campbell?” my teacher asked while taking roll in my first class after lunch. It became painfully obvious at that moment that I wasn’t getting away without a punishment.
“Here,” I mumbled. The rest of the class looked astonished. One of them even gasped.
“MISTER Brett Campbell?” the next teacher repeated. The class had the same reaction.
“MISTER Brett Campbell?” I was ready to die.
“That was the worst school day of my life!” I told Emily and Ethan on our way home. “I thought everyone thinking I was a girl was bad, but this could kill me! Literally!”
“It can’t be that bad,” Emily said. “Nobody did anything, right?”
I nodded. “But they sure looked like they wanted to. I’m scared to go to back on Monday.”
“Maybe the weekend will calm them down,” Ethan said. I could only hope.
“What do you guys want to do tonight?” Emily asked. I frowned when I realized I would have to let her down again.
“I have to go to a photo shoot tonight,” I told them. “I’m sorry.”
Emily’s mood dropped again. “Tomorrow?”
I shook my head.
“This sucks!” she told me. “We never should have taken you to that party!”
Ethan didn’t seem to agree with her. “You don’t mean that,” he told her.
Emily frowned before answering. “No, but it sucks being left out.”
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“It’s okay, Megan,” Emily said. “I know you want us there, and that’s what counts.”
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My dad rolled his eyes. He’d obviously worked with him before.
"Sarah, just..." Dad started. "Just don't take anything he says personally." Sarah Carerra
Chapter 14 - Marketing Blitz by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: December 25, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
I wanted to show my appreciation to everyone that has provided the wonderful feedback I've received. I was wishing that there was something that I could give you all for Christmas. Then I realized that I could. Exclusively for Top Shelf, I present you with a new chapter of Sarah Carerra.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,
Megan
Chapter 14 - Marketing Blitz
"Hurry and get dressed," Dad told me when I walked into the house. "We need to go."
"Ok," I said. I dropped my book bag on the couch and headed for Sarah's room. "What should I wear?"
"It doesn't matter, they'll have your wardrobe there," he replied. "And go light on the makeup."
I nodded and went to get ready.
"How did you get my principal to back down?" I asked my dad while we were driving to the studio.
"I told him that you are under contract with a record company to be at a photo shoot tonight," he told me. "I also told him that they were specific about your look, so you couldn't cut your hair or anything."
I smiled at him. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," he smiled back. "He's not causing you any more trouble then?"
"I wouldn't say that," I replied. "He made sure that nobody would mistake me for a girl. I think school is going to suck until the end of the year."
"What did he do?" Dad asked. His tone seemed to indicate that physical harm could come to my principal depending on my answer.
"He made sure that all of my teachers call me Mr. Brett Campbell during roll call."
"That's it?" Dad asked. I rolled my eyes at him. He obviously didn't understand how detrimental that was.
"For now," I told him. "But people were starting to think the other way, even a couple of teachers. I thought it would be easier for next year until he did that."
Dad nodded. He seemed to understand better now. "Tell me if he does anything else, alright?"
"Okay," I replied.
We pulled into the parking lot of the studio. It was the same place where we'd had the photo shoot on Wednesday. Thankfully there wasn't anyone standing around the door with a camera this time. I wondered how long it would be before the paparazzi were following me around.
We met Max in the lobby. He looked agitated, and I hoped that it wasn't anything I had done.
"Good afternoon, Sarah," he said. He managed to smile, which made me feel that I wasn't the cause of whatever problem he was having, thankfully.
"Everything okay?" my dad asked him.
"Yeah," Max replied. "We have a good photographer today. He does excellent work, but he's also a pain to work with."
"Who is it?" Dad asked.
"Greg Gunthrie," Max answered with a grimace. My dad rolled his eyes. He'd obviously worked with him before.
"Sarah, just…" Dad started. "Just don't take anything he says personally."
"O...Okay," I replied nervously. I didn't like how much they seemed to dislike working with the photographer.
"Follow me," Max said and then turned to walk down the hall.
Dad and I followed, and we eventually entered one of the studios. There were a lot of people there, more than at the last photo shoot. There was also a tall, skinny, bald man who seemed to be yelling at everybody at the same time.
"Finally!" he yelled when he saw us enter. "Where have you been? We don't have all day!"
I looked at my watch. It was 3:50, we were only about five minutes late.
"Why aren't you dressed?" he yelled at me.
"I just got here?" I replied meekly. I didn't know what he expected me to do.
"Oh, great!" he looked even more upset. "Another diva! My day is officially ruined."
I just stood there in shock. Was he serious?
"Go!" he screamed and pointed towards a set of dressing rooms along one wall.
Not wanting to spend any more time with him, I hurried toward the dressing rooms. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to change into, but at least I was away from him.
A lady in her late 30's stood up from a chair as I approached. She smiled at me.
"Sarah?" she asked kindly. I nodded. "It's nice to meet you. My name is Amy and I'll be in charge of your wardrobe today. Your first outfit is inside the dressing room if you want to change."
"Okay," I said with a smile. It was a big improvement talking to her over the photographer. I glanced back and he was yelling at someone else. "Is he always like that?"
"Unfortunately," she replied with a slight frown. "I wasn't too excited when I learned he was the photographer today."
"I hope I do okay," I told her. "This is only my second photo shoot, and the first wasn't more than a couple of quick shots."
She smiled at me. "You'll do fine."
"GET DRESSED!" the photographer yelled from the other side of the studio. I looked and he was glaring at Amy and me.
"Give her a minute, Greg!" Amy yelled back. "She's new to this."
That seemed to be the wrong thing to tell him. I thought I heard him say something like "Great, just great." I really didn't like him.
"You'd better change," Amy said. I nodded and entered the dressing room. Hanging on the wall was a short red dress. It intimidated me. I'd worn dresses before, but this thing looked like it was going to be short, and expose more of my chest than I wanted to.
With some trepidation I removed my clothes and slipped the dress over my head. It was short, shorter than anything I had ever worn before. But the skirt wasn't mini by any means. The hem rested a couple of inches above my knee.
There was a mirror in the dressing room, and when I looked into it, I was once again amazed at how good I looked.
"Are you ready, Sarah?" I heard Amy ask through the door.
"Yeah," I replied and opened the door. I stepped outside to show her the dress. She eyed me, had me twirl around slowly, and fiddled with something on the back.
"Looks good," she eventually proclaimed. "Are you ready for makeup?"
I nodded and Amy motioned to another girl in her early 20's. "This is Cary. She'll be doing your makeup."
"Hi, Sarah," Cary said with a smile. "It's an honor to meet you."
I blushed. I didn't know what else to do. Cary continued to smile.
"Anyway," she said. "Makeup?"
"Uh, yeah," I said and followed her over to a chair. She wrapped something around me, to protect the dress, and got to work.
When she was done, I looked even more amazing! She'd given me a smoky eye, and coupled with the light pink lip, I thought I looked stunning!
"Is she ready yet?" Greg yelled from right behind us. I jumped and let out a yelp. He was really starting to get on my nerves.
"Yes, Greg," Amy said. She sounded upset. I was trying to come down from the adrenaline rush I was on.
"Good," the photographer stated. "Let's get started."
I stood up and followed him over to the area containing the backdrops.
"Now," he said after he had placed me where he wanted me. "Just follow my lead."
"No, no, no!" Greg screamed. "My gosh, girl, haven't you ever done this before?"
"No!" I screamed back at him. I was on the verge of tears. "I haven't!"
He sighed, and sat down in a chair. I was left standing there, not sure what to do.
My dad came over and gave me a hug. "It'll be okay, honey," he whispered, before letting me go. I wanted to continue the hug, but I knew that would lead to questions we didn't want to answer.
"I'm sorry, Sarah," Greg said softly. "I usually get the best reaction from people in this industry when I yell at them. But you're, uh, different."
"Different?" I questioned.
"It's a good thing!" he said quickly. "I'd rather not yell at people. I wish there were more people in this industry like you. Now, let's try this again."
The photo shoot was much better after that. Greg really was a good photographer. With his gentler and soothing attitude we were able to get through the six outfits and multiple shots that Max wanted.
"Much better, huh?" Greg asked after the last shot. I nodded. I found it amazing that I actually liked Greg, once he stopped yelling.
"It's been an honor to shoot you this afternoon," he continued with a smile. Then he turned to Max. "Max, anytime you need a photographer for her, let me know. She's a pleasure to work with."
I was blushing when he turned back to me, but I returned his smile when we shook hands.
It had turned out to be a good day after all.
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I was silent for a moment. I think everyone in the room knew what had just happened, but I certainly didn't want to talk about it. My dad gave me an expression that seemed to say this was something I should not talk to him about. I would have to talk to Mom later or wait for my next session with Mary.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 15 - Boy Trouble by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: December 28, 2009 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 15 - Boy Trouble
The next morning found me dreading my Sarah Carerra life. I knew that going to the Tween Awards with Josh Holliday was a good thing for my career, but it still scared me to death!
I mean, Josh Holliday!
Now I had to spend the whole afternoon getting dolled up and then I had to be escorted down a red carpet. It was exciting, but scary at the same time.
Julia and a make-up artist were supposed to come by the house around three, and Josh was supposed to pick me up at five.
Until then I was stuck trying to find something to do to pass the time. Emily was off with her family somewhere, and I hadn't been able to get a hold of Ethan.
Instead, I had settled on the couch, watching E! They were talking about what to expect at the Tween Awards this evening. I felt it would only be in my best interest to have a better understanding of the evening's event.
When the doorbell rang, I walked over to the door and opened it without a second thought.
Johnny was standing on our front porch! And I was dressed as Megan!
He looked about as shocked as I felt!
"Brett?" he asked.
"No," I explained. "I'm Megan."
He looked confused. I was pretty sure that I was easily identifiable as Megan. There was no way that he would believe I suddenly had an identical twin sister or something. I didn't know what to say.
"Brett?" he asked again. He still looked confused.
I sighed. There wasn't any way I would be able to convince him I wasn't Brett. "What do you want, Johnny?"
"I knew it!" he exclaimed, the confusion leaving his face. "What are you doing dressed as a girl? Who's Megan?"
"It's a long story," I told him. "What do you want?"
"No, wait, I gotta hear this. Tell me!"
I started to close the door on him. I wasn't ready to explain myself to anyone else!
"Okay, okay," he said while sticking his foot in the door to prevent it from closing. "You don't have to tell me."
"What do you want?!" I asked him again. I tried to put some menace in my voice.
"Sorry, sorry," he said, pulling his foot out while I opened the door again. "I uh, I was hoping that you were able to get Sarah's number from your dad."
"I told you I wasn't going to do that!" I said, more than a little irritated.
"Come on," he whined. "I need your help."
"With what?" my dad asked from behind me. I hadn't heard him approach, and his question made me jump.
"Sorry," Dad apologized for scaring me. "What does Johnny need your help with?"
I was suddenly glad that Dad was there.
"Nothing, sir," Johnny said. He looked very anxious now. I could tell that he didn't want to leave without Sarah's number, but he didn't want to stay with my dad standing there.
"He wants me to help him get Sarah's number," I told my dad. Johnny glared at me. I hoped I hadn't just made an enemy, but I really didn't want to deal with this any more.
"Johnny," Dad said while glaring at him. "Megan knows better than to give out my clients' information."
Johnny's shoulders sagged. I think he started to realize that he wasn't going to get Sarah's number from us.
"Frankly," Dad continued. "I think it would be wise if you stayed away from Sarah anyway."
"I wish I could, Mr. Campbell," Johnny said. "But she's so amazing!"
"You don't even know her!" I exclaimed.
Johnny looked at me oddly, and I was scared I had given something away.
"She's right," Dad stated. "You only met her for a moment..."
"A moment was enough!" Johnny interrupted.
"Look," Dad continued. "I know your dad, and I know you're a nice kid. But the last thing Sarah needs right now is a boyfriend."
"Shouldn't she make that decision?" Johnny asked him.
Dad glanced at me quickly. "I'm pretty sure I know her wishes on this subject for now."
For now? Did Dad just imply that he thought I may want a boyfriend in the future? Did I want a boyfriend in the future?
I was so engrossed in that thought that I missed whatever my dad said next. By the time I heard the conversation again, Johnny was leaving.
"See you later, Brett, Megan, whatever," he said with a sly grin that I did not like. We had upset him, and he knew a potentially harmful secret about me.
"Bye, Johnny," I told him kindly. "I'm sorry."
He nodded, whether he believed me or not, and walked toward his car. I closed the front door.
"That boy is trouble, Megan," my dad felt obligated to tell me, as if I didn't already know.
"I know, Dad," I replied. "It's not like I want him hanging around, you know."
"I know, Princess. Just be careful."
"I will," I replied with a grimace.
Julia arrived with another woman just before three.
"Hi, Sarah," she said when I opened our front door and let the two of them in.
She pointed at the other woman with her. She was also gorgeous and in her mid-20s, with her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, and her makeup was exquisite.
"This is Stephanie," Julia said. "She's going to be your personal makeup artist when you use the services of Aphrodite Image Consulting."
Stephanie smiled. My first impression of her was that she seemed to be just as nice as Julia.
"She knows your secret," Julia continued to explain, causing me some trepidation. "But she's bound by the same non-disclosure agreement your dad had me sign."
That made me feel better, but I was still upset that another person knew my secret.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sarah," Stephanie said. Her smile was encouraging, at least.
"Come on, let's get started," Julia said, and I led them down the hall to Sarah's room.
I didn't think that it would take very long to get ready, but I was wrong. I had already put the wig on before Julia and Stephanie had arrived. I figured it wouldn't take too long to put on the little black dress we'd purchased earlier, add some makeup, and head out the door.
Julia and Stephanie argued about nearly every little thing, which made everything take longer. Hose or no hose, what kind of jewelry, it was all up for debate between the two. In the end I ended up with bare legs, a small gold pendant, and a matching set of bangles.
Then came the argument about makeup. Stephanie wanted me to have dark smoky eyes like I had been given for the photo shoot the day before. Julia thought that kind of makeup would make me look too grown up for a tween awards show.
I think the only reason I ended up with the smoky eyes was because I had agreed with Stephanie. It was something about the client's wishes swaying Julia's decision.
It was nearly two hours later by the time I was ready and they had left.
I was sitting in Sarah's room with the TV on, watching more coverage about the Tween Awards when I heard the doorbell ring.
My anxiety went through the roof. Intellectually I knew that this wasn't a real date, but emotionally it felt like the exact opposite!
I nervously sat on the couch, like my dad had told me to do. He wanted to talk to Josh first apparently. After a long moment there was a knock on the door.
"Sarah?" Dad asked while he opened the door. I stood up from the couch and walked toward the door.
"Yes?" I responded. Dad came in, followed by Josh Holliday! I suddenly had the same feelings rush through me that I had felt when I met Daren Stockard!
I hoped I didn't look too awestruck, but the amused look on my dad's face seemed to indicate otherwise.
Dad chuckled lightly before speaking. "Josh Holliday, meet Sarah Carerra. Sarah, this is Josh."
Josh had a slightly goofy smile on his face as he extended his hand. I had the feeling that I must be acting like any other teenage girl whom he had met. "Pleased to meet you, Sarah."
With an embarrassed smile of my own, I took his hand. "It's nice to meet you," I was finally able to say.
"You look stunning," he continued. I blushed again.
"You look really good too," I told him. And he did. He was wearing a really nice dark fitted suit with a dark button up shirt. The top two buttons were left undone, leaving a small glimpse of his tanned chest visible.
The taste of lipstick surprised me, and I was confused until I realized I had been licking my lips! I'd never looked at guys that way before! I'd never had these feelings before! The shocked look on Dad's face didn't help either!
I was silent for a moment. I think everyone in the room knew what had just happened, but I certainly didn't want to talk about it. My dad gave me an expression that seemed to say this was something I should not talk to him about. I would have to talk to Mom later or wait for my next session with Mary.
After a moment of silence, it was Josh who spoke up.
"We'd better get going," he said.
Dad nodded at us, a grim expression on his face. I wished I could comfort him, but I was just as surprised as he was at what had happened.
"You two have a good night, okay?" Dad said while we walked down the hall toward the front door.
"We will," Josh said, but there was something in his tone I didn't like.
Apparently my dad had heard it too. When we reached the stretch limo that was parked out front and I had slipped in, I heard my dad say something else to Josh.
"Josh," he said in a fatherly tone. "Sarah's a good girl. Treat her like she's my own daughter and we won't have any problems, understand?"
I heard myself choke on his words long before I felt it.
"I will, Mr. Campbell," Josh said. "You have my word."
I don't think his promise satisfied either my dad or me.
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It had happened again. Why do I keep looking at guys now? Why do they look cute? What is happening to me?
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 16 - Holliday Dinner by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: January 4, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 16 - Holliday Dinner
Dad, acting as our agent instead of my dad (I hoped), had made us reservations at an upscale restaurant.
I also found out that pulling a limo up to the door was not exactly the best way to keep from drawing attention. People were already staring before the car door was even opened!
I heard the feminine gasps as Josh exited the car. When he turned around and offered me his hand, all sound stopped. It took a real effort to work up the courage I needed to take his hand. I knew everyone was waiting to see whom he was taking to dinner.
Eventually I was able to swing my legs out of the door and he helped me out of the limo. Before I realized what was happening, I had taken the arm that he had offered me, and he was leading me into the restaurant.
The flash of cameras died down after we entered the door, and I wondered how long it would be before our picture had been distributed on the Internet.
“Reservation for Holliday,” Josh told the hostess. She grinned sexily at Josh, I noticed, just before she glanced my way, sneered slightly, and turned her attention to the screen in front of her.
“Of course,” she said and turned to another young woman. “Table 22.”
“Right this way, please,” the other girl said, but she couldn’t contain her giggle as she turned to lead us to our table.
All of the attention that Josh was getting was making me happy about my decision to live a double life. Triple life, I guess. I didn’t know how Josh could stand this much attention. I was very happy that I would be able to turn that attention off if I ever got as popular as he was. I’d have to thank Mary for her insistence that I have a normal life as a girl too.
We were led to a secluded table that afforded us some privacy from the gazing eyes of Josh’s admirers. Once we had been seated and the giggly girl was finally able to leave (she wanted his autograph), Josh turned to me.
“Sorry,” he said. “I’m afraid I have that effect on people.”
“How can you stand it?” I asked him. He looked at me like I was crazy.
“What do you mean?” he asked instead of answering my question.
“I mean,” I started to explain. “Do you ever get any privacy?”
“We’re alone now, aren’t we?”
He said that like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I don’t think he really understood my question though. “I guess.”
He grinned at me like he had just imparted some type of wisdom before he spoke. “You get used to it. I imagine it won’t be long before you have your own fans mooning all over you.”
He was smiling like that notion was the best thing that could happen to someone, but the thought only made me anxious.
Our waiter showed up at that moment. I wondered how many of the staff, or at least the female members, were mad that this guy was assigned to our table. It was, oddly enough, nice to have someone around who seemed to be paying more attention to me than he was to Josh.
“Hello,” he said. “My name is Tom. I’ll be your waiter this evening. Can I get you two something to drink?”
He looked first at Josh. “I’ll have a root beer.”
The waiter nodded at him and then turned to me. He smiled in a way that made me blush. “And for the lady?”
“I...” I started, still not able to contain the blush. “I’ll have the same.”
“Alright, I’ll be right back with those drinks if you want to take a look at the menu.”
He left and Josh and I turned our attention to the menus. I was so nervous that I wasn’t really hungry. I was thinking of just getting a salad.
“Don’t worry about the price,” Josh said. I hadn’t until he mentioned it. This was a very expensive restaurant, I quickly found out after glancing at the prices. “Don said he would pick up the bill.”
I nodded, but that didn’t make worrying about the price any easier. Learning that it was being paid with my family’s money didn’t make me feel any better about the expense. Now I was sure I was only going to get that salad.
We didn’t talk much before our waiter returned. I’d set my menu down, but Josh seemed to be having a hard time deciding what to eat.
“Ready to order?” Tom asked after placing our drinks in front of us.
“Almost,” Josh answered. “Sarah, if you’re ready you can order first.”
The waiter turned to me expectantly.
“I’ll have the Caesar salad,” I told him.
When it became apparent I wasn’t going to order anything else, Josh looked up at me. “That’s it?” he asked.
“Uh, yeah,” I said, wondering why that was a problem for him. “I’m not really all that hungry.”
He looked astonished at my response. “You can get anything on the menu for free, and all you want is a salad? If Don’s paying for this, it’s worth taking him up on his offer. He doesn’t do this often, you know.”
That answer definitely did not endear me to him. He was taking advantage of my dad’s generous offer. I really hoped that I never got to the point where I didn’t care about other people’s money like he apparently didn’t. Josh Holliday makes a lot of money, a small expense like this meal shouldn’t be that big of a deal to him. While my family was pretty well off and could afford the expense, I was happy to know that I was raised better than that.
I didn’t know how to explain that to him. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to even try. Instead I shrugged my shoulders. The look on our waiter’s face seemed to say that he agreed with me to some extent. Maybe he didn’t have a very good opinion of Josh.
Josh rolled his eyes at me and then turned back to his menu. “I’ll have the garlic sirloin, medium rare.”
“Ah, the most expensive item on our menu,” the waiter pointed out as he glanced my way. He smiled slightly, probably because of the slight frown that appeared on my own lips. “An excellent choice, sir. Would the two of you like any appetizers with your meal?”
I shook my head, but Josh dove back into the menu. After a short wait, he said, “No, I think this will do for now.”
I got the impression that he just couldn’t find anything he wanted to go with his steak.
“I’ll get the kitchen working on your order then,” Tom said with a smile, a fake one for Josh, and a more genuine one for me before he left.
“I don’t like that guy,” Josh said.
“He seems okay to me,” I replied.
Josh didn’t want to talk about our waiter, though. Instead he turned the discussion toward me.
“How long have you been singing?” he asked.
“Oh,” I said, blushing again. “I’ve been singing my whole life, but I’ve never really sung for an audience before.”
“Never?” he questioned with disbelief once again.
“No,” I said while shaking my head.
“How did you get a contract then?” He asked. “Olympic Records, right?”
“Yeah,” I replied to his second question first. “My friends...they dragged me to a party where there was some karaoke. I didn’t want to sing, but they forced me to. The guy throwing the party was a talent scout for Olympic Records.”
“That’s cool,” Josh said, but his tone and demeanor seemed to suggest it wasn’t. “I had to fight to get my demo heard by a record agency. Your way must be a much easier way to get it done.”
He was jealous! I could understand his expressions now. He’d worked hard to get where he was, but I had practically been handed a record contract on a platter. I didn’t think that telling him I was scared to death to become a pop star would make him feel any better.
“We’ll have to do a duet once your career is established,” he said, trying to break the tension that had developed between us. It didn’t.
I may have been enamored with Josh Holliday when he first showed up at my house this evening, but as I got to know him more throughout the evening my opinion had changed.
I didn’t like Josh Holliday! The realization hit me full force, and I heard myself gasp!
“Yeah,” Josh said, mistaking my gasp for what it really was. “I think it will help both of us out. I’ll talk to Don tonight when I drop you off and maybe we can do one in a couple of months or something.”
I wasn’t sure a duet with Josh Holliday was a good idea.
“Why are you staying at Don’s house anyway?” Josh asked. I was glad to change the subject, but this topic wasn’t any better.
“It’s a long story,” I told him, hoping it would be enough of an explanation.
“We’ve got time,” he said, which took that hope away.
“It’s something I’d rather not discuss,” I explained. I had started to become irritated. If he kept that up it was going to be a long night. We hadn’t even made it to the awards show yet!
“Come on,” he said. His tone seemed to indicate that he did not like being told no, and he was going to get the story out of me. Well, he wasn’t. I had no reason to tell Josh about my circumstances and why there was a Sarah Carerra room at our house. He was way outside of the inner circle.
“I’m sorry, Josh, but this is something I can’t discuss with you.”
Now he looked irritated. Good! It was about time that he realized this date wasn’t going to be more than a business opportunity.
He sat there looking uncomfortable for a few moments before he stood up.
“If you’ll excuse me,” he said. “I need to use the restroom.”
He didn’t get too far out of the small room we had been sitting in before I heard the feminine gasps and saw a few girls crowd around him. With a quick glance back at me he walked out of view, signing autographs as he went.
I sighed and closed my eyes.
“Date not going like you hoped?” Tom, our waiter asked. I screamed slightly at the sound. I hadn’t expected anyone to be there and he startled me.
“I’m sorry,” he continued. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay,” I told him once I had my breath back. “I didn’t hear you walk up.”
He smiled at me and I noticed he had my salad on his tray. “Caesar’s salad?” he asked.
“Uh, yeah,” I said and he placed it in front of me. “That was fast.”
“Celebrities usually get preferred service here,” he said. “Have you known Josh long?”
“No,” I replied. “I just met him tonight.”
“Did you win a contest or something?” He was a very nosy waiter, I decided.
“No,” I explained. He might be nosy, but at least he was more fun to talk to than Josh. He was kind of cute with his dark brown hair and brown eyes.
It had happened again. Why do I keep looking at guys now? Why do they look cute? What is happening to me?
“Are you okay?” he asked. He could probably see the confusion on my face.
“Yeah,” I told him truthfully. “But I’ll be better when this night is over.”
“I would have thought that a girl like you would be happy to be on a date with a guy like Josh Holliday,” he said with a smirk.
“It sounded like a good idea earlier,” I said. “But it was never my idea.”
“Then why are you here?”
I sighed, thinking how I had asked myself the same question.
“We share the same agent,” I explained. “I just signed a contract this week, and our agent thought that this would be good exposure for both of us.”
“Actor?” he asked.
“What?” I asked, confused. Then I realized what he meant. “Oh! No, I’m a singer too.”
“Oh cool,” he said, truly intrigued. “Anything I would have heard?”
“No,” I frowned. “My first single is supposed to be on the radio next week sometime.”
“Must be exciting.”
“More like scary,” I replied.
“Why?” he asked, being even more nosy. If he wasn’t so cute I might have been mad at him.
“Um,” I started. “I never really wanted to do this. I mean, I do want to, but I’m scared to sing in front of people.”
“Isn’t that required in the industry?” he said with a chuckle.
I chuckled too before replying. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be scared to do it.”
He stared at me for a moment, making me uncomfortable. Finally, he gave me a genuine smile and said, “I like you. You aren’t like the other celebrities who come through here. Don’t change that.”
“Believe me,” I agreed with him. “If I ever start acting like Josh and stop caring about other people, I won’t like me either.”
He laughed at that, which caused me to laugh too.
“I’m Sarah, by the way. Sarah Carerra.”
“Catchy,” he said. “Stage name?”
I blushed, which probably gave the answer away. “No, it’s my legal name.”
I’d told him the truth. Dad had made me sign some papers that made Sarah Carerra a legal alias to Megan Campbell. It was the fact that I had also signed papers to change my real legal name to Megan Campbell that was more surprising. I hadn’t made up my mind if I would stay as Megan or not, but going back would mean a court visit to change it back. I still wasn’t sure how he was able to change it without one, but he mentioned something about his legal guardianship over me, or something.
Tom obviously didn’t believe it was my birth name, but I was pretty sure he would react badly if he learned that my birth name was Brett. At least he didn’t push the issue.
“Can I help you?” Josh asked as he approached the table. He looked upset.
“Just bringing the lady her salad,” Tom said with a smile. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll check on your steak.”
For a second I didn’t think that Josh would let him off that easily. It was pretty obvious that he had been doing more than just dropping off my salad. The waiter had been chatting up his date, and Josh knew it.
“I really don’t like that guy,” Josh said with a scowl as he slid back into the booth. “And you shouldn’t be flirting with other guys while you’re on a date!”
“Oh come on!” I nearly screamed at him. “You’ve had girls drooling over you all night, and I’m sure you didn’t make it to the restroom and back without a little flirting!”
He frowned, confirming my suspicions.
“Besides,” I continued. “We both know that this date isn’t going to be anything more than a business arrangement. You and I, we aren’t compatible.”
His frown deepened, and I knew he agreed.
“I’m sorry,” he eventually said. “But you are one hot girl, and I would have liked a chance.”
“You had one, Josh,” I told him. “I didn’t know what to expect tonight, but I was open for anything. We just didn’t click.”
He nodded, but he looked sad. I found it hard not to feel sorry for him, until I remembered how many girls would willingly slit my throat to be in my place. There were plenty of other girls out there for him to choose from.
Tom reappeared, slowly walking our way. I think he was trying to judge whether he could place Josh’s dinner on the table and get away without being killed. He seemed to think he could when Josh smiled at him.
The rest of dinner was pretty somber. We chatted about small stuff, but it wasn’t the same. Josh was a nice guy, I had decided, and we could possibly be friends, but even that was sketchy. He seemed to feel the same way about me. We just didn’t have the same interests.
“How did everything taste this evening?” Tom asked when we were finishing up.
“Great,” Josh replied and I nodded in agreement.
“Good,” Tom said with a smile. It looked like he was anxious for us to leave. I think he was scared of Josh now. “Your check has been taken care of by Mr. Campbell. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?”
Josh looked at me for confirmation before replying, “I think we’re okay for tonight. Thank you for your wonderful service.”
I could tell Tom wasn’t sure if he should believe him or not, but he smiled anyway.
“Have a wonderful evening then,” Tom said. “We would be delighted to have you back at any time.”
He smiled and walked away.
“Are you ready to go?” Josh asked me.
“Yeah,” I said while nodding my head. As eventful as dinner was, it was still only the beginning of the night. The scariest part was still ahead.
“Nervous?” Josh asked while we walked through the restaurant toward the exit. How could I not be nervous? I had my arm wrapped around Josh Holliday while everyone within view was looking at us. But I knew that wasn’t what he was talking about.
“Very,” I told him. “I don’t know how to deal with the public yet.”
“You’ll learn,” he told me. “And it does get easier. My first red carpet scared me to death, but the next one was easier to deal with, and eventually you learn how to cope with the anxiety that it brings.”
I smiled at him. That was the first truly heartwarming thing he had said all evening.
Perhaps there really was a good guy inside him somewhere after all.
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Josh continued to exit the car, and I slid across the seat toward the open door. I was nervous. Heck, I was scared to death! But I knew that this was something I needed to do.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 17 - The Red Carpet by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: January 11, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 17 - The Red Carpet
When the limo came to a stop outside of the theater hosting the Tween Awards, I thought my heart would jump right out of my chest.
"It'll be okay," Josh told me and squeezed my hand. "I'll be right there with you. I won't let anything bad happen."
While we may not have hit it off back at the restaurant, it was nice to know that Josh Holliday was not my enemy. He truly seemed to care about my well-being this evening, and I was grateful for that. I didn't think we were going to be friends after this, but I did think we both could settle for being good acquaintances.
The door was opened from the outside, and Josh moved to get out.
"Thank you," I told him before he could get very far. He turned to look at me, a smile on his face. He nodded, and I immediately felt safer than I had moments before.
Josh continued to exit the car, and I slid across the seat toward the open door. I was nervous. Heck, I was scared to death! But I knew that this was something I needed to do.
I took Josh's hand when he had finished getting out and turned back toward me. I swung my legs out of the car together to prevent any accidental exposure and let him pull me to my feet. I returned the smile he was giving me, feeling truly happy for the first time that evening.
There were quite a few more camera flashes here than there were at the restaurant. But I guess that was to be expected when the press is ready for you to be somewhere. Josh pulled me close to him and we posed for a few shots before starting down the carpet.
I'd always wondered what it would be like to walk down the red carpet at a big event like this. Now that it was actually happening, I wasn't as eager to find out.
The area where we exited the car was about 100 yards away from the entrance to the theater. Between us and the entrance were more cameras and press than I had ever seen in one place at one time! It was truly intimidating.
The only thing I could do as we walked was to keep a smile on my face and try to enjoy the experience.
We stopped and posed at a few spots along the way that were marked for the media. When we reached the halfway point we met the first red carpet interviewer.
I recognized her from some show, but I couldn't remember which one. She waved at Josh as we approached, and he nodded at her before turning us in her direction. Every step we took closer to her made my heart race that much faster.
"Thank you for speaking with us, Josh," she said when we got closer. I noticed the red light on the camera was on, which didn't help my anxiety.
"Anytime, Michelle," Josh replied. The name helped me recognize her from some MTV show. I still wasn't sure which one, but I could at least place her now. Surprisingly, that information seemed to help me relax.
"You've been nominated for Best Male Artist again this year," she wasted no time in getting to the interview. "Do you think this will finally be the year?"
I thought it was a tacky question, but Josh kept a smile on his face as he answered.
"I'd be lying if I didn't say I hoped so," he said with a small chuckle. "But just being nominated is an honor."
"With four top ten songs during the past year, you've definitely given everyone a reason to look."
He continued to smile. There was no question, and I don't think either of us really knew how to respond. Luckily, she kept going to avoid any awkward silence.
"Who's your date tonight?" Michelle asked, turning her attention to me. Somehow, I managed to keep myself from blushing.
"This is Sarah Carerra," he said, and I tried to smile more for the camera. "Her first single is supposed to be released next week. After hearing it, I think she'll be up for her own award next year."
I smiled at his lie. It was good publicity, but I hoped nobody asked him about the song.
"It's always nice to meet new talent," Michelle said. "What's your new single about?"
It took me a second to realize the question was for me, and I hoped and prayed that I hadn't been standing there silent for too long before answering.
"It's called Intuition," I told her. "It's about feelings, and trying to understand yourself within today's messed up world."
Dad and Max had come up with that answer, which made it a lot easier than having to come up with something on the spot.
"Thank you both for taking the time to speak with us," Michelle said. We both said our goodbyes and we were on our way down the red carpet again.
We stopped five more times before we reached the theater entrance to do the same thing. Each interview was similar, but the interviews definitely got better the closer we got to the door.
By the time we reached the entrance, we had talked to more people and had our pictures taken more times than the rest of my life combined! Josh had my arm in his while we walked up the three steps to the theater entrance and into the lobby.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Josh asked me once we were safely inside and away from the cameras.
"No," I replied truthfully. It hadn't been bad at all. Each interview continued to get better, and by the end I was actually enjoying myself. "Thank you for everything you said out there."
"It was my pleasure," he said. His tone indicated that he was wishing more was going to come of this evening than a simple business arrangement again. "I meant it, you know?"
"Meant what?" I asked him, not sure what he was referring to.
"You really are a good singer, and your song is beautiful."
"You've heard my song?" I gasped. I thought he had just been saying that for the publicity!
"Of course," he said as if I should have known his answer. "I wouldn't have said what I did out there without hearing it."
"Where did you hear it?" I asked him, truly amazed at the sincerity he was showing.
"Don had me listen to it before I agreed to bring you this evening," he replied.
"Oh," was all I was able to manage.
Before he could say anything else we reached the other side of the lobby. An usher confirmed our names and handed us off to another who led us down to our seats. We were seated in the middle of the theater, five rows from the front!
The awards show turned out to be much like the ones I had seen on TV. It was still boring in person, but seemed to be slightly more bearable because I was actually there.
Em, Ethan, and I had often watched the awards to make fun of people walking the red carpet. We'd even make fun of the speeches that winners would give. It was the only way we could watch them.
Oh my gosh! What if Emily or Ethan had watched Josh and I walk down the red carpet? They may know my secret!
If they did know, they were going to be very mad at me!
"Are you okay?" Josh asked me out of the blue. I guess my frantic realization had been noticed.
"I'm fine," I told him with a smile and he went back to enjoying the awards show. I didn't think anyone enjoyed these things, but Josh apparently did. Although I think being nominated for an award would make me enjoy the show more too.
---
"And the winner for Best Male Artist is..." The presenter gave a dramatic pause. "Josh Holliday!"
Josh looked shocked when I turned toward him to congratulate him. I don't think he was expecting to win!
He looked over at me, his eyes wide, unable to move. I knew that he needed to get up and walk to the stage to accept his award, but he seemed to be frozen in place.
Conscious of the fact that every camera in the place was probably on us, I leaned into him and whispered in his ear. "Congratulations, you really deserve it!"
I then surprised myself by giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek. Even if we hadn't clicked as a couple, he had been a gentleman since dinner. He truly deserved that award too!
The kiss seemed to break him out of whatever he was feeling. He looked at me, shocked for a moment before he managed to stand up and walk toward the stage. It had to have only been seconds for this interaction to occur, but I got the feeling that it might have been the pivotal moment of the night.
Eventually he made it to the stage, where he was handed his Tweeny (No lie! That's what it was called!). He then stepped up to the podium to give his acceptance speech.
"This is a real honor," he said with the same shocked expression on his face that he'd had before I kissed him. "I honestly didn't expect to win tonight."
There was soft laughter throughout the hall before he continued. "There are so many people I want to thank. First I have to thank my mom and dad; I wouldn't be here without their love and support. Second, I have to thank my agent Don Campbell and the good people at Platinum Records for the opportunity they've given me to share my songs with all of you."
He paused for a second, looking at the Tweeny. "There are so many people that I want to thank, and I know that I don't have the time to name them all. Thank you to everyone that has helped me to get to where I am tonight.
"But there is one person I especially have to thank. Sarah Carerra," he said while he looked right at me. I felt myself start blushing again. "I wouldn't be up here without you."
There was louder laughter after that comment, which only served to deepen my blush. I guess everyone had seen the kiss.
"That kiss might not have been much, but it was like an electric shock that restarted my dead battery," he said with a smile, even if it was a bad metaphor. "I wish you the best in your new career and I'm glad to call you my friend."
Music started playing, and I watched as he was escorted off the stage.
"You're a lucky girl," the lady sitting next to me said, startling me. "He's quite the catch."
---
The red carpet after the show wasn't nearly as bad. Outside, the drop-off area had been expanded and there was limo after limo parked next to the curb, awaiting their occupants' return. Josh said our limo hadn't arrived yet because he couldn't see our driver. I wasn't so sure that I would have been able to pick him out of a crowd.
While we were waiting we did pose for a few more pictures, but thankfully there were no post-win interviewers waiting for Josh to step outside. We waited patiently for about 15 minutes before Josh saw our driver.
"Come on," he said and gently pulled me toward one of the non-descript black limousines. "He's over there."
We were able to quickly move in the direction of the car and within five minutes we were on our way home.
"Did you enjoy tonight?" Josh asked me.
"Yeah," I said and turned to look at him. He had that look again, the one that hoped we could be more than just friends. He was beginning to make me wonder too. "I had a wonderful time."
The smile on his face was bright enough to light up the interior of the limo. I don't think I've ever seen someone get so happy at something I had said before.
"Good," he said, but he couldn't seem to stop staring at me. I must admit, I was having trouble looking away also.
Josh Holliday had his faults. I'd learned plenty about them tonight. But every once in a while I would see a true human being poking around in that big head of his. His shock at winning the Tweeny even when he was favored to win was surprising. His caring tone after dinner and his attention to me, at least most of the time, didn't go unnoticed either.
If this was going to happen, if we were going to be more than just friends, he was going to have to change. And heaven knows how hard it is to get a guy to change. But I was surprised to find that the door that I had slammed shut earlier this evening was now cracked open. Something in the way Josh had acted since dinner had changed my opinion of him.
I was even more surprised to learn that I was considering having a relationship with Josh Holliday. I mean, I'd only been a girl for a week! Even worse, I couldn't even tell him about Megan, let alone Brett. He'd probably try to kill me if he found out the truth about me.
I think he saw the change in my face. His smile turned into a frown, and I did not like seeing him look that way.
"I'm sorry, Sarah," he said a moment later. "I know you don't want to take this beyond a friendship, despite how I feel about you."
Now I truly felt bad. He couldn't possibly understand the feelings and emotions that were washing over me at the time. He could only interpret it in one way.
"Josh," I said to him before sighing. "My life is pretty complicated right now. There is more going on than starting a new career, and I can't talk about it. Just believe me when I say that it isn't completely about you. There are things I need to work out in my life before I'm ready for a relationship like this."
His frown turned slightly upside down. I had given him some hope for the future. I just didn't know if that was the right thing to do. I wasn't even sure if a relationship with Josh is something I would want, even if I was a complete girl.
"What do you want to do then?" he asked me.
I sat there for a few moments, gazing into the deep brown of his eyes. I'd heard people talk about getting lost in someone's eyes before, but I didn't understand it until then. Josh had his faults, but there was still something there. Something I didn't know what to do with.
"I don't know," I told him truthfully. "There are many things about you, Josh, that I despise. Your lack of care for Don's money, and the way you acted at the restaurant, are just two of them. But there's something else there too. The caring manner that you thanked your parents, and the same way you thanked Don…I'm not sure what to believe anymore."
It looked like he was going to object to what I said, but I put my finger to his mouth and he stopped.
"I like you, Josh, that much I know," I told him. "But like I said, this is a difficult time for me to start something. I don't even think I'm ready."
"Okay," he replied. "How about we take it easy and start as friends?"
I smiled at him. He couldn't have said anything better.
"Friends it is."
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"Dude!" I heard one of his friends try to whisper. "Your sister is hot!"
I felt myself blush again, but I didn't want to look over to see who had said it. I was hoping it was one of the two I hadn't met before. Sarah Carerra
Chapter 18 - The After Party by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: January 18, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 18 - The After Party
"How did it go?" Mom asked when I walked inside. She and Dad were sitting in the living room, waiting for me to come home. The smile on Mom's face made me believe that she had been watching the awards on TV.
"It went okay," I said. I tried not to let any of my conflicting emotions through.
She smiled at me. Obviously she had seen the kiss, and heard the speech Josh gave. Dad looked rattled. I guess the idea of one of your sons kissing a hot boy could be upsetting. Even if Mom seemed to be okay with it, I knew this girl thing was still upsetting my dad a bit.
I couldn't help the smile and blush that came unbidden to my face at Mom's look. She always seemed to know how I was feeling, and that didn't seem to have changed since I became Megan.
"Just remember to be careful, Megan," Mom said. "You've got more than one secret you're keeping from him."
I blushed harder. I couldn't believe that she could read me that well!
"It's not like that, Mom," I told her. "Yes, he's very good looking, but there is a lot about him that I can't stand. He's so aggravating sometimes, but seems to care a great deal at other times."
"Did he treat you right?" My dad asked, speaking for the first time.
"Yes, Daddy, he did," I replied. He looked relieved at my words.
"Good," he said and stood up from the couch. He came over to me and kissed my forehead. "Have a good night, Princess."
He then walked out of the living room and toward my parents' bedroom, leaving my mom and me alone.
"Is he okay?" I asked my mom while walking around the couch and taking a seat next to her.
"He's fine," Mom answered. "He seems to accept you as a girl, but he's still getting used to it. You dating already may be too much for him to process right now."
"But he set it up!" I exclaimed. "If he doesn't want me to date, he shouldn't have set it up!"
"I know, honey," Mom said and took my hand in hers. "But I don't think he realized what it would mean when he did. I don't think it really hit him until you kissed Josh on the cheek. The whole country saw that, you know."
"Yeah," I sighed. "I figured that would be the case."
"Can I ask..." she started before stopping to collect her thoughts. "I mean, why did you kiss him?"
"I don't know," I told her truthfully. "I surprised myself probably as much as I surprised Dad."
Mom chuckled lightly at my joke.
"Dinner didn't go very well," I continued. "He seemed interested in me, but he didn't care about how much of Dad's money he spent, then he was flirting with girls when he went to the restroom, but he got mad at me for talking to the waiter while he was gone. After we were done eating dinner, I was sure that we couldn't even be friends."
"What changed?" Mom asked the one question I was scared to answer.
"I don't know; something happened between the restaurant and the theater." I told her. "When we were walking the red carpet, he really seemed to care about my feelings. He helped me through the scary parts. I don't think I would have made it to the theater if he hadn't been there. It was like he was a completely different guy. And it wasn't even for the cameras, because he was doing it before we got out of the car."
"So you kissed him," she prompted.
"Not consciously!" I exclaimed. "I mean, I didn't even know that I was going to, he just looked frozen in place, and it just happened!"
Mom nodded like it was the explanation she was expecting. Then she asked, "What did you whisper to him?"
"Whisper?" I asked myself, trying to remember what I had said. "Oh! I just told him that he deserved the award."
Mom looked skeptical, but seemed to accept my answer.
"Do you want to see him again?" she eventually asked.
"I don't know," I replied once again. It seemed to be the answer of the evening. "He's nice and all. And he IS very attractive, that much I know. But I can't believe I'm even feeling that way. I've only been a girl for a week, Mom. How could I be having these feelings? I've never felt this way before!"
I was surprised to find that I was crying. My emotions seemed to be so close to the surface these days, and I didn't know why.
"It's okay, Megan," Mom said. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a comforting hug. "This is going to be a tough time for you. I don't know the answer to your question, but it's something you are going to need to think about. Mary can help you with that more than I can, but I'll always be here for you."
"Thanks, Mom," I said while I sobbed into her shoulder. "This has been a crazy week, and I still don't know how to handle some of this stuff!"
"You'll be okay, Megan," she comforted me again. "You're my little girl. You've been my little girl for a long time, even if you didn't know it. I know this is new to you, but you've been acting like a girl for quite a while now. These feelings shouldn't surprise you."
I was surprised though. I knew my mom had thought of me as her daughter for a while. She had said as much in the car on the way to the salon the other night. But I didn't realize I had been acting like a girl for that long. I mean, if that was the case, wouldn't everyone at school be making fun of me or something? Someone would have said something, I thought.
I almost didn't believe Mom's statement, but she seemed so sincere, I had to believe her. I knew that I had been getting close to going full time as a girl. I'd started growing out my hair and started dressing more androgynously a couple of years ago. But I never thought that I had started acting differently!
"I'm not telling you this to upset you," Mom continued. "I just want you to know what I see."
"I feel so lost!" I cried into her shoulder. "I mean, I thought I was a boy, but everything seems to make so much sense when I dress up as Megan."
"Honey," my mom started to say. Before she could finish the front door opened again and we heard Austin and some of his friends laughing. Before I knew what was happening, Mom had pushed me down into the couch before she stood up.
"Austin!" she yelled at him. He and his friends froze immediately, or at least stopped talking. I couldn't see them and I finally realized why I had been pushed into the couch.
"What?" he asked, unsure of what he had done wrong.
"Take your friends back outside for a few minutes," she said in a more comforting tone. "You're sister isn't...decent."
"Oh!" he responded a second later. "Ok."
I heard them shuffling back toward the door. The last thing I heard before the door closed was, "Since when do you have a sister?"
"Come on," Mom said when the coast was clear. "Let's get you out of that wig."
Fifteen minutes later the wig had been stored in the armoire, the dress had been hung up in Sarah's closet, and I was wearing a silky pink pajama set. It was nearly 11 at night, and I was ready for bed.
Apparently Mom had given Austin permission to have a few friends spend the night, and then forgot about it while talking to me. Luckily her quick thinking had preserved my secret, and she was going to talk to Austin about being more careful when Sarah might be around.
"Put on some lighter makeup, and meet me in the kitchen," Mom told me before leaving Sarah's room. "I'll make us some hot chocolate."
I smiled at her and nodded. Hot chocolate was our comfort food, and we often drank it while we talked. Dad and Austin never seemed to get into it, though.
Mom left the room, closing the door behind her. I turned my attention to the vanity and got to work on my makeup. I removed the evening's tear-stained application and applied only enough to make me presentable to the boys until bedtime.
I opened the door, and was immediately overwhelmed with the sound of yelling boys coming from the kitchen.
I started walking down the hall, but before I got to the kitchen Austin came around the corner.
"Megan!" he said, obviously not expecting to see me. He continued in a softer tone. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't think that Sarah would be here."
"It's okay," I told him with a smile. "I don't think any of us thought about it. We'll just have to be more careful in the future."
Unexpectedly, he smiled back before walking up to me and wrapping his arms around me in a hug.
"You make a much better sister," he said before he let me go and continued down the hall to his room.
I stood there, shocked at his pronouncement! Even Austin thought I made a better girl! It seemed almost like the decision had been made for me. I really needed to talk to Mary now.
Eventually I made it to the kitchen, where my mom was taking a pizza out of the oven. Obviously, teenage boys are always hungry. I guess that's something else I didn't share with them.
"Hi, Megan," Mom said when she saw me. The noise in the kitchen ceased immediately, and the boys all turned from the dining table to look at me. I'd met many of them before as Brett, and didn't know how they would take the change.
I uncomfortably realized that they were all staring at me in a way that boys didn't use to stare at me.
I smiled at them shyly before taking a seat at the counter, in the kitchen, far away from the table they were at in the dining room.
"Would you like a slice of pizza?" Mom asked me. My salad seemed like a long time ago, but I still didn't feel hungry. I shook my head.
She finished cutting the pizza and carried it over to the dining room table. I was glad to see the boys' attention move to the food instead of me.
Austin came back in and headed for the table. "Ooh," he said when he saw the pizza was on the table and rushed to get some before it was all gone.
"Dude!" I heard one of his friends try to whisper. "Your sister is hot!"
I felt myself blush again, but I didn't want to look over to see who had said it. I was hoping it was one of the two I hadn't met before.
"Ignore them," Mom said, placing a mug of hot chocolate in front of me. "Boys will be boys."
"I guess," I replied, taking a sip of the warm liquid.
She came around the counter and sat down between the boys and me.
"How are you doing?" she asked me quietly when Austin and his friends had returned to their previous noise level.
"I'm doing fine," I told her with a smile. "It's just been an interesting week."
"Can I ask you one thing?" she asked.
"Sure," I replied, taking another sip of the hot chocolate. It was good, and it helped me relax.
"Are you happy?"
I had to think about that. I took another sip of the hot chocolate to buy me the time I needed to think. I really enjoyed the previous week. It was a lot of fun becoming Megan, and I think that I felt more at ease as her. I definitely enjoyed a lot of Sarah's life.
But was I truly happy? I knew what Mom was really asking. She wanted to know if I wanted to stay this way. Honestly, I'd felt more alive during this week than I had at any other time during my life. But I didn't know if it was just the novelty of a new way of life, or if it was something I really wanted to do. I thought about it some more while taking another sip of the hot chocolate.
"Yes," I finally told her. "I am."
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It was becoming harder and harder to find the boy I had been. It seemed like every day Brett slipped further and further into the background.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 19 - She Really Is A Girl? by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2009 Megan Campbell Released: January 25, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 19 - She Really Is A Girl?
I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and, well, happy. The realization of the previous night that I did want to stay as Megan was somewhat of a surprise, but it felt so right that I couldn’t deny it was what I wanted.
I walked out of my room and down the hall to the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water seemed to wash any desire I had to be a boy out of my body and down the drain.
When I stepped out of the shower, I was determined to be the best girl I could be. I’d skipped church last week, but that day I was going to wear a nice dress and show everyone there that I truly was a girl. If they didn’t like it, it was their own problem.
I finished drying off and wrapped my towel around me. I’d decided to not wash my hair, which meant I didn’t have to worry about drying it.
I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. Austin was standing there, and I screamed at his unexpected presence.
Before I had the chance to do anything else, he reached for me, and pulled on my towel! I managed to grab it and prevent it from falling all the way off, but the top half of the towel was pulled away from my chest!
Austin and I stood there, staring at each other in shock! I couldn’t comprehend why he would do that to me! Austin, well, I don’t think he knew that I had budding breasts.
Recovering quickly, I managed to cover my chest with my hand and turn away from him. Seconds later I realized that I was facing the living room, and all of his friends were staring at me! I quickly turned the other way and rushed to my room, slamming the door behind me.
“Austin!” I heard my mom scream through the door. I knew that he would get what he deserved, but that didn’t make me feel any better. The only good thing was that the bottom part of the towel kept my secret intact.
I threw on my robe, which in hindsight I should have taken with me to the bathroom, and stepped back into the hallway.
Mom was really giving it to Austin. His friends at the other end of the hall were cringing at the telling off he was getting.
“Don’t you ever do anything like that ever again!” Mom screamed at him. Dad was there beside Mom, and he looked nearly as upset as she did. When Dad noticed me standing in the hallway he tapped Mom on the shoulder and pointed in my direction.
“Apologize to your sister!” she ordered Austin. Austin turned toward me, but he couldn’t look me in the eyes.
“I’m sorry, Megan,” he nearly cried. “They dared me to do it. I didn’t want... I didn’t... I didn’t know!”
I knew what he was talking about. Dad wasn’t even fully aware of the developments that my body had gone through. Only Mom and I were truly aware of what my body was doing. But that was no excuse!
“That doesn’t make it okay!” I screamed at him! I wasn’t ready to forgive him! He’d embarrassed me in front of his friends in nearly the worst possible way! The only thing that could have been worse was if the entire towel had come off, and that nearly happened too!
Mom threw me a warning look. She was obviously on my side, but that didn’t give me the right to yell back at him.
Not knowing what else to say, and afraid that I’d get in trouble if I insulted him some more, I kept my mouth shut.
“You two get ready for church,” Mom spoke after a moment of silence indicated the excitement was over. “I laid a nice dress on your bed, Megan.”
I nodded at Mom and stepped back into my room to get ready. Despite what Austin had done to me this morning, I still felt that staying as Megan was the right option, and I still had that desire to be the best girl that I could be.
Lying on my bed was a dress I had never seen before. It wasn’t one that Mom and I had purchased when we went shopping together, and it definitely wasn’t one of Sarah’s. But I realized that with a glam piece, it would fit perfectly into her wardrobe.
The dress was a soft yellow. It wasn’t quite pastel, but it wasn’t nearly as bold as a canary yellow either. It looked like a sundress, and was surprisingly light to the touch even though it seemed to be completely opaque.
I left the dress lying on my bed and turned toward my dresser and searched for some accompanying underwear. I ended up wearing a lacy white bra and panty set that not only made me feel feminine, it also emphasized the small breasts I had.
I slipped the dress over my head and took a look in the mirror. I couldn’t believe how good I looked in the dress! It was becoming harder and harder to find the boy I had been. It seemed like every day Brett slipped further and further into the background.
It was supposed to be a warm day, and while I knew Mom would probably want me to wear a pair of hose to church, I didn’t want to be burning up later on. I decided to risk trying the dress without any and looked in my closet for a pair of shoes. I couldn’t find anything that seemed to go really well with the dress, and ended up wearing a pair of white strappy sandals with a small heel. They seemed to work okay.
I then turned my attention to my makeup. I’d definitely improved my ability to apply it during the last week. I’d known the basics from my previous outings as Megan, but I’d learned a lot that week. Now, it was almost second nature, even if I still needed a lot more practice.
Once I was finished getting ready, I opened the door and headed for the kitchen. Mom usually made a small breakfast before church, and I was hungry.
The tapping of my heels on the linoleum in the kitchen alerted my family to my presence. They were all sitting at the dining room eating breakfast. One of Austin’s friends was sitting with them, wearing a shirt and tie. It looked like at least one of them was coming to church with us.
“You look nice, Megan,” Mom said. Dad was nodding in agreement. Austin still looked sullen, and his friend was staring at me like they all had the night before.
“She’s even hotter this morning!” I heard Austin’s friend whisper to him. My luck would mean that he was the one who found me attractive. They probably all did though.
“Thanks, Mom,” I told her, ignoring the other comments. I grabbed a plate and started loading it with the bacon, eggs, and toast that Mom had made for breakfast before taking a seat at the dining table.
“Did you meet Alex last night?” Dad asked, providing a name to the unknown boy I’d rather ignore. If he didn’t stop looking at me, I was going to dump my eggs down his shirt.
“No,” I replied, and glanced over at Alex. I caught him staring at me again and he blushed and dropped his eyes. “Nice to meet you.”
He didn’t say anything back, but I heard my mom chuckle at his reaction. He had turned quite red.
Throughout the rest of breakfast I caught him looking at me more than once, but he never spoke to me.
Eventually, I washed my plate, placed it in the dishwasher, and returned to my room to grab my purse and touch up my lipstick before joining my family for the ride to church.
There weren’t many people in the chapel when we arrived, and I followed my parents to an empty pew. Austin and Alex didn’t join us, instead sitting next to a man and woman I didn’t recognize and whom I assumed were Alex’s parents. That was fine with me; I’d had enough looks from him.
A few of the people whom we knew were looking at me as we took our seats, but they seemed to be more curious than offended at the way I was dressed. I was worried about the reaction of the others who attended our church, but I could only hope that the tolerance that was preached would be displayed in their actions.
“Megan!” Emily exclaimed a few minutes later when she sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around me. “I’m so happy to see you here!”
“I’m just happy to be here,” I told her. After what I had learned about myself last night, I didn’t want to dress up as Brett ever again. I was really not looking forward to school the next day.
“Mom! Dad!” Emily said as her parents sat down on the pew in front of us. “This is Megan!”
“Em,” I whined. “I already know your parents.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “But they haven’t met YOU, Megan.”
My family had been living next door to the Prescotts since I was two. Emily and I had become friends almost immediately after we had moved into our house. Dan and Sharon Prescott were like second parents to me. It seemed silly to think that I was meeting them for the first time.
Both of Emily’s parents looked shocked to see me. I figured Emily had told them all about me, but I knew from personal experience that seeing the difference between Brett and Megan was pretty surprising.
Emily had met Megan many times before I started living nearly full time last week. But her parents had never met me. They knew my story and what happened in the accident, but I hadn’t ever been over at their house dressed up before.
“Wow!” Emily’s mom exclaimed. “You’re very beautiful!”
Her dad was nodding in agreement and I felt myself blush once again.
“I’m sorry, honey,” Sharon Prescott said. “Emily has told us all about you, but I never realized you were so beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I told her.
I could tell that she wanted to talk more, but it looked like the services were about to start.
“Would you like to come over for a light lunch?” Sharon asked me. “I’d like to get to know you better.”
“Sure,” I said, glancing to my own mother for approval. Her nod indicated it would be okay. “I’d like that.”
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I’d spent a lot of my childhood over at Emily’s house, but I was never so nervous to enter as I was then.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 20 - Lunch with the Prescotts by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: February 1, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 20 - Lunch with the Prescotts
Emily and I rode home with my parents.
Emily wanted me to wear my Sunday dress to lunch, to help emphasize my new gender, but I was worried it would be too much for her parents to handle.
Somehow we managed to compromise, but it didn’t seem like much. I got to take off the dress, but I was going to replace it with a lighter sundress that wasn’t quite so formal.
Emily joined me in my room, and we eventually selected a white dress that had some pink highlights along with pink flowers on it. It was very feminine, and I was worried about it upsetting the Prescotts, but Emily said it would be fine. At least I got to replace the heels with flats.
“Be back for dinner!” Mom yelled on our way out the front door. I agreed, and let Emily lead me over to her house.
I’d spent a lot of my childhood over at Emily’s house, but I was never so nervous to enter as I was then.
Eventually we reached the front door, and without pause, Emily opened it and pulled me inside.
“Hi, Em,” came a voice from the sitting room to our left. “How was church?”
“Hi, Jules,” Emily responded to her older sister. Julie was 18, and like Emily, she was a beautiful blonde. “How’s Anna doing?”
Anna was Emily’s 10 year-old sister. She was sick in bed, so Julie had stayed home from church to watch her. Anna was the number one fan of both Emily and me. She would do anything to hang around with us. I adored her like she was my own sister. In fact I think I had a better relationship with her than I had with Austin.
“She’s doing well,” Julie said. “She slept all morning and she said she was feeling better not too long ago.”
Julie finally looked at me, and she was shocked at what she saw.
“Brett?” she asked, not believing it could possibly be me.
“No,” Emily replied before I could. “This is Megan.”
“Hi,” I told Julie with a small wave.
“Wow!” was her response. “If I didn’t know...”
“Is that you, girls?” Emily’s mom interrupted from the kitchen. She then appeared in the doorway. “Good. Lunch will be ready in about 15 minutes.”
“Okay,” Emily replied. “We’re going to go say hi to Anna.”
“Alright,” her mom said and walked back into the kitchen.
Emily started up the stairs to the second floor, and I followed behind her. All of the bedrooms in their house were on the second floor, including Anna’s. We walked down the hallway until we reached the door. Emily knocked and then slowly opened Anna’s door.
“Anna?” Emily called out. I heard a groan from inside the room. “I’ve got someone here who wants to meet you.”
“Who?” was Anna’s gruff reply. She certainly sounded sick.
“Megan’s here to see you.”
“Megan?” Anna said excitedly. Emily took that as an invitation and opened the door and stepped into the room. I followed Emily in. Anna was sitting up in her bed, and she looked excited to see me.
“Hi, Anna,” I said when she could see me. She was staring at me with wide-eyed wonder. I stepped over to her bed. “Are you feeling okay?”
“You’re so beautiful!” she finally said. I felt myself start blushing again.
“Not as beautiful as you are,” I argued. Like her sisters, Anna was blonde, and it was obvious now that her beauty would match that of her sisters as she grew older.
She smiled at my compliment. The brightness in her eyes was almost enough to overcome the look of sickness that she displayed. She continued to gaze in wonder at me.
“How are you feeling?” I asked her again and bent down to feel her forehead. She seemed to have a fever.
“I’m feeling good now,” she stated jubilantly. “Are you staying for lunch?”
“Yeah.”
“I want to come!” she said with a lot of enthusiasm. “I’m feeling better, honest!”
“I’m sure you are,” I told her with a slight laugh. She definitely didn’t sound this well when we first arrived in her room.
Emily was standing in the door, watching us. I caught her slight laugh at Anna’s enthusiasm over me. The three of us had spent a lot of time together. We’d often play Barbie’s with Anna when she was younger, and we included her in some of our mall trips and when we went to see a movie. Seeing her sick, even if it was just a cold, was always a painful thing. Her enthusiasm for life was just so great.
Susan Prescott appeared in the door at that moment.
“Feeling better, honey?” she asked Anna.
“Yeah, Mom!” Anna said excitedly. “Can I come down for lunch? I want to spend more time with Megan.”
Mrs. Prescott laughed at her youngest daughter’s reaction. “Sure, honey, if you feel up to it.”
“I do!” Anna insisted and threw off her covers. I noticed that she had bare feet, and since I was right next to her dresser I opened her sock drawer and pulled a pair out. There was also a couple of scrunchies and I thought she might like to have her hair kept out of her face.
“Socks,” I told Anna and handed her the socks. She bent over to put them on and I took the time to pull her hair back into a ponytail.
“There,” I said. “All ready?”
“Yeah,” she replied.
I looked up at Emily and Mrs. Prescott. They both had smirks on their faces.
“What?” I asked them warily. They were thinking something I probably wouldn’t like.
They looked at each other with some kind of understanding, but it was Emily who finally voiced the words: “You’ll make a good mother some day.”
I could feel myself blushing again.
Lunch was pretty basic. Mrs. Prescott had made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. Even so, it was good food. She was nearly as good a cook as Mom.
Anna insisted on sitting next to me, and I was very happy that she was feeling well enough to sit at the table. She really was a great girl.
The conversation started off light. Mr. Prescott filled Anna and Julie in on what happened at church. But it wasn’t long before the discussion turned toward me.
“So, Megan,” Mrs. Prescott started. “Are you going to be around for a while?”
“Yes,” I said after finishing the bite I had taken of my sandwich. “I was talking with my mom last night after I got home. I truly am happy with the way my life has gone over the past week and a half.”
“You like being a girl?” Julie asked the confirming question.
“Yes,” I confirmed. “Everyone says that I always seem so much happier when I’m Megan. Emily and Ethan, both my mom and my dad, and even Austin said so last night.”
“But you can’t let others decide this for you,” Mrs. Prescott warned.
“I’m not,” I told her. “But everybody telling me I was happier got me thinking about it. It took a bit to realize, but I AM happier this way. Everything seems to fit.”
I took another bite of my sandwich while they digested that information.
“You’re always going to be Megan now, right?” Anna asked, almost afraid of the answer.
“Yes, sweetie,” I told her. “I have to go to school as Brett for the rest of the school year, but I’ll be Megan afterwards all the time.”
“Good!” she said and wrapped me in a hug. I’d always liked Anna, but somehow our relationship seemed even closer now.
“What about next year?” Mr. Prescott asked. “Are you going to attend school as Megan?”
“I hope so,” I told him. “My therapist wants me to live full time as a girl before I make my decision. But frankly, I don’t want to ever go back to being Brett.”
“It sounds like you’ve already made the decision,” Emily said from across the table. The smile on her face told me that she thought it was the right one.
“I’m sure Mary will make me wait before making the decision final, though,” I said dejectedly. “She always seems to find some reason for me to slow down.”
“Who’s Mary?” Anna asked.
“Mary is my therapist.” I told her. “She helps me talk about things and helps me make informed decisions.”
“Oh,” Anna replied. “You can always talk to me, you know?”
She sounded like it was the most obvious thing in the world to do, and I had to laugh lightly at that.
“Of course, Anna,” I replied with a smile.
“Emily said you got a record contract,” Julie said with excitement, changing the topic.
“I did!” I said excitedly. I just wish I could tell them the details of what that meant.
“She’s already got one song and had a couple of photo shoots,” Emily added.
“The record company says that I’ll probably be on the radio in a couple of months.” I explained further. “They’ve started a campaign, but they said it takes a while to get going.”
“It’s still awesome,” Julie said. “I wish I could sing that well.”
“Would you be willing to sing your song for us?” Mrs. Prescott asked.
I really wished I could! But I couldn’t start singing Intuition for them and then have Sarah singing it on the radio. My secret wouldn’t be much of a secret then. As much as I wish I could share this with them, Dad would be furious if I did.
“I can’t,” I replied with a frown. I was trying to think fast about how I was going to explain why.
“Why not?” Anna asked. She seemed upset that I wouldn’t share with her.
“Megan doesn’t like to sing in public,” Emily stated.
Julie choked on her drink before managing to get out a laugh.
“You’ll have to get over that!” she said when she was able to settle down.
“Yeah,” I told her. “But the record company has asked me not to sing it outside the studio until it’s been released. They’re hoping it becomes a hit.”
Mr. Prescott nodded at that information. He was a lawyer, and he seemed to agree on the contractual side of the record company.
“Besides,” I continued. “My dad won’t let me share any of this with anyone until my career has been established.”
I had to choke back the tears that were threatening to come spilling out of my eyes.
“Leaving Emily out of this part of my life is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do!” I told them.
Emily was nearly crying now too. She really seemed to understand how hard this was for me. Sometimes I really hated my dad. Why couldn’t I just tell them?
“Me too?” Anna asked.
“Of course you too, Anna,” I told her with a smile that I hoped was reassuring. It seemed to be enough for her because she smiled and went back to her lunch.
“It’s okay,” Emily said, smiling despite the sadness I could see in her eyes. “I know it isn’t your decision. The fact that you want me there so badly means the world to me.”
Her parents were smiling at us. We’d been through so much together, and it hurt not to have her there when I could use my best friend the most to talk about the changes in my life.
Emily smiled at me before continuing. “That’s why I know you truly are my sister.”
The rest of the afternoon was more subdued. The Prescotts wanted me to sing for them, but I managed to hold them off. I was worried that they would be able to recognize my voice when Sarah’s first single came out.
Emily and I spent some time with Anna before she crashed from exhaustion. We listened to some music with Julie and even played a board game with her parents before I had to return home for dinner.
After the emotional lunch, dinner at home was quite a different experience. After reassuring my mom that everything was okay, I excused myself from the table and went up to my room to finish the homework I hadn’t had time to do yet.
“Megan,” Mom said when she poked her head into my room later that evening. “It’s time for bed.”
I looked at the clock and was surprised that it read 11:00.
“Oh!” I exclaimed. “Wow!”
Mom smiled back at me. “What have you been doing?”
“I was looking myself up online,” I told her. “Look at this.”
She came over to my desk and looked at my computer screen. I already had an unofficial fan site. The author claimed to have heard Intuition, and was eagerly awaiting the song’s official release. The fact that she knew the name of my song made it seem more likely that she had heard it.
She’d also compiled a number of pictures of me. Many were from the Tween awards, but there were also a few from the restaurant beforehand and I think even a couple from the first photo shoot I went to, where the paparazzi were outside waiting for someone.
“Wow!” Mom said, clearly impressed.
“I know!” I replied. “Look how many pictures of me are already out there!”
We looked through some of them before Mom insisted that I get ready for bed.
“Remember,” she said on her way out of the room. “Tomorrow is Judy’s birthday and we’re going over to her house for the party.”
Oh great! I had forgotten about Aunt Judy’s birthday party! I started to feel nervous. Aunt Judy was really nice, but we hadn’t told any of the family about Megan yet. I would either have to go as Brett, or the family would be meeting Megan.
“Good night, honey,” Mom said, unaware of the torment she had caused.
“Good night, Mom.”
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I made a decision Monday morning that had the potential to greatly affect my ability to attend school.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 21 - An Interesting Day at School by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: February 8, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 21 - An Interesting Day at School
I made a decision Monday morning that had the potential to greatly affect my ability to attend school.
Principal Hall had been very adamant on Friday that I was not a girl, and the school would not treat me like one. He had been very upset that I looked like a girl, and did not want me even presenting as one.
But I decided that morning that I didn't have a choice. I didn't want to be Brett anymore. I COULDN'T be Brett anymore! I HAD to go to school as Megan!
But I realized that if I showed up wearing makeup and female clothes, I was most likely going to be suspended. Instead, I decided to embrace the tomboy nature that Julia believed I showed every day.
Pulling on a pair of panties and a bra, I turned toward my closet to see what I had to work with.
I couldn't find a pair of jeans that I thought would work well, until I looked on Megan's side of the closet. Jeans are jeans, right? I knew that there were differences between the cut in male and female jeans, but was it really enough for people to notice? As long as Principal Hall didn't notice, I thought I would be okay.
Coupled with the jeans I decided on a red t-shirt. While it was technically a guy's shirt, it was very tight on me. It managed to show off the curves that I had developed.
With the jeans and tee on, I pulled my hair back into a high ponytail. Not only was it a very feminine looking ponytail, it showed off my pierced ears, something I hadn't shown off at school yet.
I stepped over to the full-length mirror. Even without makeup I could clearly see Megan looking back at me. I really had to concentrate hard to see Brett. If people wondered before, they would be hard pressed not to think that I was a girl now.
I grabbed my backpack before heading out of my room and down to the kitchen for some breakfast. Mom was happily making waffles and bacon when I arrived.
"Morning, Mom," I told her.
"Morning, Megan," she replied, looking up at me. "You're wearing that to school?"
Her tone suggested that this may be a bad idea. But I was committed to it.
"Yeah," I told her, taking a seat at the counter. "Principal Hall made it clear that I couldn't wear girl's clothes to school, and I'm not. But I can't go back there as Brett. Not anymore."
She nodded, but she still seemed skeptical of my decision. "Am I going to have to come pick you up halfway through the day?"
"I hope not," I told her. "I'm not wearing girls' clothes. I didn't put any makeup on. I haven't done anything that he forbade me to do."
"What about the jeans?" she asked, proving that my plan might be harder to get away with than I thought. She obviously knew what I was attempting to do.
"Nobody but the girls will know!" I complained. "Principal Hall definitely won't notice."
She really looked skeptical at my decision now.
"Besides," I continued. "They fit a lot better."
That was the truth too. The girls' jeans that I had bought over the last couple of weeks fit me much better than Brett's jeans did. They just seemed to fit better on my hips.
Mom sighed before speaking. "I'm not going to stop you, Megan. But I don't know if we'll be able to get you out of trouble if the principal finds out."
"I know, Mom," I told her. "But this is something I have to do."
"Okay then," she said. "Call me if you have any problems."
"Thanks Mom!" I smiled at her before taking a bite of my waffle.
"Megan?" Emily asked incredulously when I stepped out of my house to join her for the walk to school.
"Morning, Em," I replied. We started walking down the street, but she kept looking over at me.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked a few steps later.
"No," I replied.
"Then why are you doing it?"
I stopped walking, and she came to a halt next to me. I made sure that she was looking at me. I looked straight into her eyes when I said, "Because I have to."
She stared at me for a second before responding, "Okay."
We started walking again. Just like that Emily was okay with my decision. This would probably be a difficult day, but at least I had one person on my side.
"Morning, ladies," Ethan said as we approached where he was waiting for us in front of his house.
"Hi, Ethan," I greeted him.
"Is there any particular reason why Megan is coming to school today?" he asked.
"No," I told him. "It's just time."
He looked at me funny for a minute before his face fell.
"Oh," he said, understanding what I meant. "Brett's not coming back then, is he?"
It hurt to see him saddened over my decision, but I knew that it was something we would get through. He was losing his best male friend, but he was gaining another great female friend.
"I'm sorry, Ethan," I told him. I wanted to give him a hug to help comfort him, but I'm pretty sure that was the last thing he would have wanted me to do.
We stood there in silence for a moment. I didn't know what to tell him to make him feel better.
"Okay," he finally said. "We better get moving if we don't want to be late."
We started walking, but he still seemed slightly sad.
"Are you okay?" I asked him.
"I guess I am," he replied. "I knew this day would come. I'm sad that it's here, but it's not like I completely lost my friend. You're just a little different now."
I smiled at him. Ethan was like that. He was very practical. I knew he was sad that Brett was gone, but his realization that I'm still the same person was more than I could ask for. Obviously many things would be different now, but I hoped the majority of the rest would stay the same.
"Can I ask you a question though?" he asked.
"Sure," I told him. Anything to help him come to terms with my decision.
"Where did you get the curves?"
I couldn't help it - I blushed again! I'd never really told Ethan or Emily about what my body was doing.
"I mean," Ethan continued when he saw I couldn't answer right away. "You didn't have them last week."
Finally I was able to get myself under control, and tried to figure out what to tell them. Eventually I decided that they deserved the truth.
"They're real," I told them. "Without any testosterone in my body because of the accident, I've been developing differently than the other boys."
They both looked shocked. I could definitely understand why.
"Even..." Ethan started, but looked embarrassed to continue. Instead he started waving his hand in front of his own chest. I looked down, and was embarrassed to realize that the shirt did display the small breasts I had developed! They weren't even in the same league as Emily's, but it was pretty obvious that they were there!
"Um, yeah," I replied.
We walked along in silence for a few moments. I didn't know what to say to them, and it seemed like they were at a loss for words too.
"I guess we shouldn't be surprised," Emily eventually said, breaking the silence. "I mean, we all know you're a girl."
That got us laughing and seemed to break the tension that had developed. It felt like old times the rest of the way to school.
I took a seat in my first period class, wishing that Emily or Ethan were in it with me.
Walking through the halls at school, and even now while sitting in my desk, people were staring at me. Some of the students had been in my afternoon classes on Friday and had heard me called “Mister Brett Campbell”. The others had probably heard about it. Either way, they were staring.
I guess I couldn't blame them. Wearing the clothes I had on created an image that didn't exactly match the name.
I was worried about how I would be treated that day, but most people were still looking at me with curiosity instead of disgust. There were a few who looked like they wanted to kill me, but most of the students and teachers still seemed to be unsure of my gender.
"Mister Campbell?" The teacher asked during roll call.
"Here," I replied with a sigh. She looked questioningly at me for a second.
"Are you sure?" Her question was met with laughter from the other students, and from me too. Obviously my gender was still in question.
"No?" I responded as if I was unsure. The laughing continued.
I made it all the way until lunch time without any serious consequences. It wasn't much different compared to Friday morning, when everyone still thought I was a girl. I was generally left alone, even if the staring continued.
I sat down at our regular table with my tray of food, happy to be in friendly company. Everybody else was already eating.
"Tough morning?" Emily asked.
"No, not really," I replied. "Most people still think I'm a girl."
Kathy giggled at my statement, much like she had last week when I complained about the same thing.
"Weren't you complaining about that last week?" she asked me, confirming what she found funny.
"Yeah," I told her, blushing only slightly for once. "But things are...different now."
"Different how?" she asked.
Before I could come up with a response, Johnny approached our table. He had a sly grin on his face, like a fox that had just cornered its prey. I figured he was probably still upset about Saturday, and I wasn't going to like what would come next.
"Good morning, Megan!" he said loud enough for half of the cafeteria to hear. Many people turned and were looking at us.
I scowled at him. The last thing I needed was everyone knowing about my out-of-school identity.
Although...
Perhaps this could be to my advantage.
"Morning, Johnny," I replied with a kind smile. "I told you Saturday I wasn't going to give you Sarah's number."
I think he was expecting me to deny that my name was Megan or something, because he looked confused at my response. He seemed at a loss for words now.
"Are you okay?" Emily asked him after a moment of silence.
"Yeah," Johnny said. "I just wanted to see how my best girl Megan was doing today."
"I am not your girl, Johnny," I told him coldly. I realized a moment later that I was playing into his hands.
"But you admit you're a girl," he said, getting to the point of why he started this conversation. But if he thought that this was going to embarrass me, he had another thing coming.
"Of course!" I replied. His face immediately turned to one of shock. "Why would I admit otherwise?"
"But, you're a boy," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Says who?" I asked him. "My doctor doesn't think I'm a boy."
It was a white lie. Looking back on the sessions I've had with Mary, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that she thought I was a girl too.
"What?" he said rather loudly. I was once again aware of how many people were listening in to our conversation. "But you were a boy a month ago!"
"I thought I was," I replied truthfully. "But I was wrong."
"What the heck are you talking about?" he nearly screamed.
It was obvious that Johnny had come over with the intent to embarrass me. When he couldn't, he started to become very angry. I guess I had really upset him on Saturday.
"Look, Johnny," I told him in a calm tone. "The doctors were wrong when I was born. They thought I was a boy, but I wasn't. I only looked like a boy."
Johnny was staring at me, stunned! I'd basically just come out as transgendered to my school, even if I had worded it to seem like more of a medical condition.
I looked around the cafeteria at the people who were watching us. Not many of them even seemed surprised. In fact, there were a couple people nodding their heads, as if they agreed with my doctors.
It wasn't unanimous acceptance, though. There were also plenty of faces that looked like they couldn't stand the idea of me becoming a girl. I'd let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, and I would have to live with the consequences.
"Whatever," Johnny said before walking away. Everyone else seemed to go back to their lunches after he had left.
"I guess that answers my question," Kathy said a few moments later.
I was sitting in my math class, minding my own business, when someone entered and spoke to the teacher. I hadn't even noticed she was there before my teacher spoke.
"Campbell," he said, getting my attention. "You're wanted in the principal's office."
Uh oh. I'd been dreading this all day, and it looked like it was finally happening. I gathered my books and my bag and followed the aide back to the front office.
"Have a seat," she said when we entered, pointing at a row of chairs outside the principal's door. "He'll be with you shortly."
I nodded to her and stepped toward the chairs. There was already someone sitting there. I didn't think I had ever seen him before. He was dressed all in black, and even seemed to be wearing eyeliner. If he could get away with it, why couldn't I? Although he was probably here because he was wearing it.
"Well hello there," he said as I sat down. He was checking me out, and it didn't make me feel comfortable. I'd been getting looks ever since I made my decision to live as Megan, but his looks gave me the creeps. They were almost dirty in nature.
"Hi," I replied, hoping it would be enough for him. But of course it wasn't.
"What's a sweet thing like you doing visiting the principal's office?" he asked.
"I'm not sure," I answered, somewhat truthfully.
"My name's David," he told me while sticking his hand out. His friendly nature seemed to belie the way he was dressed. "I'm new here."
I was at a bit of a dilemma now. He obviously thought that I was a girl, and I didn't really want to contradict that thought. But I couldn't exactly tell him my name was Megan either.
Fortunately, I was saved from answering by the opening of Principal Hall's door. One of the teachers walked out, followed by the principal.
"Mr. Cartwright, please come in," Principal Hall said before glancing at me. I was surprised to see him give me a small smile.
David stood up, and with a smile and a wave to me walked into the office.
I sat there alone for ten minutes, wondering what that smile had meant. I would have thought Principal Hall would have been really upset with me. But that was definitely a friendly smile, even if it looked slightly forced.
Eventually, the principal's door opened again, and the two of them stepped out. I thought for sure David was going to get in trouble for wearing eyeliner, but he didn't seem upset at all after his meeting.
"Thank you, sir," David said. "I'll, uh, do as you asked."
"Thank you, Mr. Cartwright. I'll see you later," Mr. Hall responded.
David then turned toward me, and with a small wave goodbye said, "Bye, Megan. It was nice to meet you."
That was enough to put me in shock! How did he find out my name?! And he had just repeated it in front of Principal Hall! This was not going to bode well for my meeting with him!
Despite my surprise, I was able to mumble a goodbye and a small wave.
"Come on in, Miss Campbell," Principal Hall said, boggling my mind even further.
I somehow managed to stand up, collect my things, and stepped into his office, where I took a seat in front of his desk.
He walked around his desk and took his own seat, before looking at me. He seemed slightly surprised at what he saw.
"The first thing I need to do is apologize for Friday," he eventually said. "I overreacted, and I'm sorry. But I was telling the truth when I said I don't like disruptions, and this is definitely a disruption."
I was about to argue, but he held up a finger.
"Let me finish first, please." He told me, and I nodded in agreement. "I called your mother this morning after seeing you in the hall. I was quite furious at how you were dressed, or at least how you were presenting yourself. I was expecting to inform her of your suspension and have her come to pick you up.
"But instead, your mother told me more about your situation, and why you are doing this." He frowned slightly before continuing. "I can't say that I will be able to support you in any way. Frankly, I don't feel very comfortable about you changing your gender, but I do believe I understand why you are doing it."
I sat there awestruck! I didn't know what my mom had told him, but at least it hadn't made him more upset. If anything, he seemed to be pretty calm about it.
"Look, Megan," he said, and I realized then that Mom must have told him my name and he must have told it to David. "I want to help you because I want to keep this from being disruptive. There are only two weeks left in the school year, and I wish you could have held out until the end. But your mom explained to me that you had been trying, and I respect that. She told me that you feel you can't do that anymore."
I honestly didn't know what to say. I didn't want to come to school as Brett anymore, and it looked like I might be getting my wish.
"Let me be perfectly clear when I say that you are still not seen as a female in the eyes of the school," he said, dropping my excitement a bit. "Until you are legally female, we cannot do that. But I will make an exception and let you present yourself as one. Half the school already thinks you are female anyway."
"So I can wear girl's clothes and makeup?" I asked him, looking for confirmation of what I thought he had just said.
"Yes," Principal Hall confirmed. "But you will be held to the same dress code that the other girls must follow."
"Cool!" I said in my excitement. Mr. Hall smiled at my exuberance, but the smile still looked slightly forced.
"There are other things you will have to do if you want this opportunity," he continued.
"Like what?" I asked nervously.
"You must never enter the girl's bathroom or the girl's locker room," he replied. "Like I said, until you are legally female, we cannot make some exceptions. Conversely, you shouldn't use the boy's bathroom or locker room either. Technically it's still legal, but it will cause more problems than we want to deal with."
"Okay," I agreed. "But where am I supposed to go to the bathroom?"
"You will need to use one of the two unisex bathrooms," he answered. "There is one in each of the main halls, so it shouldn't be too far of a walk."
I nodded my agreement. The unisex bathrooms are actually handicap bathrooms. They weren't quite as well taken care of as the regular bathrooms, but it was a price I was willing to pay to come to school as Megan. I had already been using them anyway. It seemed easier when people started assuming I was a girl.
"Is there anything else?" I asked him, afraid of what I might have to do.
"Not at the moment," he replied. "But we'll handle anything else as it comes up."
I nodded at him. "Okay."
"Your mom said that you had legally changed your name?" he asked and then paused for my answer. I nodded in confirmation and he continued. "I can't do anything about it today, but I'll get your name changed on the rolls by tomorrow. We'll update your school records officially when we receive the change of name form. Your mom said she would get it faxed over this afternoon."
When I had decided this morning that Megan was going to school, I was definitely not expecting any of this to happen!
"If you don't have any questions," Principal Hall said while pulling out a small notepad. "Then here's a pass back to class."
"Okay," I replied, taking the excuse note. I think I was still in shock. I hadn't really been able to say much during the meeting.
I accepted the note from him and he stood up to walk me out of his office. I grabbed my backpack and followed him to the door. Once outside I turned back to him.
"Thank you, sir," I told him with a genuine smile. I truly was happy at that moment.
"You're welcome, Megan," he replied. His smile still looked slightly forced, but I think part of it was genuine too.
With more happiness than I thought I would feel that day, I headed for my last class.
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My nervousness turned to outright anxiety when the door swung open and the inviting smell of a roast wafted out past my cousin Katy.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 22 - Happy Birthday, Aunt Judy by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: February 15, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 22 - Happy Birthday, Aunt Judy
"He's going to let you come to school as Megan?" Emily asked incredulously on our way home.
"Yeah, can you believe it?" I replied.
"No!" she exclaimed. "He was so upset on Friday!"
"I know. I need to thank my mom for whatever she said."
"You guys want to go to a movie tonight?" Ethan asked in an attempt to change the subject. I think he was still uncomfortable with the Megan situation.
"Sure," Emily replied cheerfully.
"I can't. I have to go to my Aunt's house for her birthday party," I said with a frown.
"Aww," Emily moaned. "We never get to hang out with you anymore!"
"I know," I told her. I felt the same way. "Let's do something together tomorrow. I don't have to do anything for the record company."
"How come you are doing so much if you aren't going to be on the radio for months?" Emily asked.
The pang of regret I felt at her question must have been visible on my face. Emily immediately looked concerned.
"I'm sorry, Em," I told her, near tears once again. "But my dad won't let me tell you."
It always came back to the same thing! I still wasn't sure why my dad felt this was the best way. He still hadn't given me a reason that I could believe. 'Trust me' could only go so far.
Emily stopped walking and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm sorry, Megan. I don't know what it is you are keeping from us, but I know it must be hard."
"Megan?" my mom asked when I entered my house. "Is that you?"
"Yeah," I replied while I stepped into the kitchen where she was putting the finishing touches on the food that she had been preparing for the party.
"Good," she said. "Hurry and get dressed. We need to leave in 45 minutes. I put a nice dress on your bed."
"Okay," I replied with a slight worry. "But they don't know about Megan. Do you think a dress will be alright?"
My mom smiled at me like she knew something I didn't before she spoke. "Honey, it isn't about what they think, it's about who you are."
She seemed too calm about this. I mean, I could be ostracized by my extended family, or at least Mom's side. Yes I wanted them to know about Megan, but I was still somewhat scared to tell them.
"I guess," I replied, not nearly as confident as she had sounded.
"Anyway, I talked to Judy after I talked to your principal this morning," Mom continued. "She said that it was about time she got to meet Megan. Katy will probably feel the same way."
I'm not sure what shocked me more, the fact that Aunt Judy already knew about Megan or that she was okay with me showing up that way! Katy was my cousin. We were the same age and hung out a bit, but it was Derek, her older brother, who always seemed to want to hang out with me at family gatherings. He was a year older than me, but I was the closest boy to his age in the family. I figured he probably wouldn't take my change very well.
"Go get dressed!" Mom interrupted my thoughts. "We can talk about it in the car."
"Okay," I said, but I still needed a few answers first. "But what did you tell my principal? He was actually nice to me today!"
Mom sighed. I don't think she wanted to discuss this now or we would be late, but it was something I needed to know.
"I told him the truth," she said. "After you left this morning, I started to worry. I wasn't sure if there was anything we could do if the principal decided to punish you. So I did some research on the internet."
She really must have been worried. Mom isn't exactly the most computer literate person I know. She usually only used the computer for basic things like checking her email and following a couple of our family's blogs.
"What did you find?" I asked her, intrigued.
"What he threatened to do to you is against the law," she replied. "California law prohibits any discrimination or punishment based on gender identity or gender presentation. From what you've told me, he's already broken the law. I just pointed that fact out to him."
I was stunned! I hadn't expected to have the law on my side! Was he only being nice to me because he had to? I wasn't sure. While his smile had seemed forced, it still seemed to be partially genuine.
"Get dressed!" Mom interrupted my thoughts again. I smiled at her and rushed out of the kitchen.
An hour and a half later we were pulling into Aunt Judy and Uncle John's driveway. It looked like the party was already in full swing by the number of cars parked in front of their house. I reluctantly exited the car and followed my parents to the door.
These family get togethers weren't formal by any means, but Mom always insisted that we look nice. Austin looked irritated by the collar of the polo shirt he had been forced into wearing, but I found myself happy to be wearing a nice sundress instead. Okay, so it was pink, but I didn't really mind. Mom thought it would help to reinforce who I now was.
Dad rang the doorbell. Girlhood certainly had its benefits. Dad was holding a crock pot full of something my mom had cooked, and Austin had a cake in his hands. Even Mom was holding a thing of Jello. Me? I was only holding the small clutch purse my mom insisted I bring.
Eventually my nervousness turned to outright anxiety when the door swung open and the inviting smell of a roast wafted out past my cousin Katy. She anxiously started scanning each of our faces until she found mine hiding behind my family and down a step.
"Megan!" She sounded excited to see me, and it looked like she was going to push right past my family to get to me before she realized what they were holding. Stopping only long enough to let my family into her home, she immediately rushed me and gave me a hug.
"I'm so glad you came!" she exclaimed. "Mom said you might not, and I was worried I wouldn't get to meet you."
"Hi, Katy," I said, finally finding my voice. I'd always liked Katy. We seemed to share a lot of the same interests. Maybe that should have been an indicator of where my life was going to lead me, but I never saw it before we met that evening. Something had definitely changed in our relationship, and I felt that we were going to be closer than ever.
"Katy!" I heard Uncle John yell from inside the house. "Come in and close that door, you'll let all the flies in!"
He then appeared behind her at the doorway. His mouth dropped slightly when he saw me, but he managed to motion us inside.
"Come on," Katy said excitedly while grabbing my hand and pulling me through the doorway. Once we were inside she yelled toward the kitchen, "Mom! Megan's here!"
I looked around the front room. Most of my extended family was already there, and they were gathered around the large TV set that Uncle John kept in the room.
It was also apparent that most of them had not been told about me. Some of them looked confused, wondering who I was. Some of them looked shocked at how I was dressed. My cousin Kyle was staring at me in a way I thought one cousin should not stare at another.
"Great, the fag's here," I heard someone say. I glanced around the room again and my eyes settled on the piercing eyes that were glaring at me. Derek had definitely not taking the news about me well.
"Derek!" I heard Aunt Judy yell from the other side of the great room, where she was standing. "I told you none of that! Go to your room!"
"Whatever," Derek said. He was obviously not chastised by his mother's yelling. "Come on, Kyle, let's go."
"But..." Kyle started but couldn't find the words he needed to finish. It was obvious he didn't want to leave the room while I was still there.
"Dude!" Derek yelled at Kyle. "It's Brett! Even if he was a real girl, you can't date your cousin!"
That statement seemed to get through to Kyle. I was saddened by the look of disgust that appeared on his face before he quickly followed Derek down the hall.
"Brett?" I heard Tracy ask. She was Kyle's older sister. She was sitting on the couch holding little Heather, the first grandchild in the family. She was also sitting next to Grandpa Jones, my mom's dad. It looked like he was ready to have a heart attack at my appearance.
"Come here, Megan," I heard Aunt Judy say from where she was still standing in the kitchen. "Let me get a look at you."
I must admit, I thought as I stepped around Katy to meet her mother, I was hoping for a better reaction from my mom's family. They knew about the accident. Most of them knew what it had cost me and the decision that had been placed before my parents. I hoped most of their reactions were only because of the surprise of seeing me before hearing about me.
"Wow!" Aunt Judy said when I had reached the kitchen. "You are beautiful!"
She then proceeded to wrap me in a comforting hug. With her mouth next to my ear, she whispered the words I was more than ready to hear: "You're always welcome here, Megan, no matter what."
"Thank you, Aunt Judy," I whispered back. When we separated I had a smile on my face.
"Everyone," I heard my dad say behind me and I turned to look at him. He was speaking in the tone of voice he used to command attention, but I think everyone was already giving it to him.
"You all know about the accident we were in six years ago," Dad continued. "You all know about the decision we were given about where Brett's life should go. You all know that we decided to leave it up to him."
Dad looked over at me and motioned me toward him. He continued to speak while I walked over and stood next to him. "Both Linda and I, along with a counselor, have been helping Brett find the path that his life should follow."
He looked at me and smiled warmly. The coldness that had taken hold of my heart at the reactions of my family started to thaw. Even if I lost my extended family, I had Mom and Dad to take care of me. Austin wasn't too bad either.
"Megan did not come into existence recently," Dad kept saying. "Our little girl came home from the hospital that fateful day six years ago. She's only learning that now, but it was soon after she came home that it became apparent to us. I know many of you have expressed your concerns about her behavior over the last few years, and about how girlish she was starting to look. What you didn't know is that she was already a girl. She's been developing just like any girl her age would, albeit slowly."
"Dad!" I squeaked at him. I could feel the heat rise in my face again as I started blushing. This was not the type of information that he should be sharing with the family!
My reaction seemed to break the tension that was floating around the room. It seemed like most of the guys seemed uncomfortable at the news my dad had shared, but the soft knowing chuckles from the ladies and older girls seemed to put them at ease. I realized then that my dad was not trying to embarrass me. He was trying to make the family understand how deep this decision was.
"Megan has been happier the past week since she made this decision than she has at any other time of her life," Dad kept talking. I noticed Mom standing on my other side and I felt even more comforted by her presence. She was nodding agreement with what my dad was saying. "I hope that you will accept her for who she is, because she is going to be around for a long time to come."
I had to hold back the tears as he bent down and gave me a hug.
"You're going to make me cry," I said aloud after he had let me go. That got another round of chuckles, and as I looked around the room it seemed like I was generally going to be accepted. Only a couple of the younger boys and Uncle Steven seemed to feel otherwise, judging by their faces.
Alright, everybody," Aunt Judy said, breaking the silence that had fallen after Dad's speech. "This is a party, so start having fun!"
That seemed to break the tension, and everyone seemed to return to what they were doing. At least the guys did. I noticed Tracy get up and a number of my younger female cousins follow Mom and me into the kitchen behind Aunt Judy. I knew the night was just beginning.
The first person to get me once we were safely in the kitchen was Grandma Jones.
"You look lovely, Megan," she told me with the sweetest smile on her face. Her smile was so genuine I could feel its warmth when she wrapped me in one of the hugs only a grandmother can give.
"Thank you, Gran," I replied. "That's so good to hear you say."
I'd managed to keep the tears back when we were in the front room, but Gran's acceptance was more than I could bear. The relief that I felt at her words broke the dam that was holding them back.
"Don't cry, honey," she said when she noticed my tears. "This is a good thing. Your Grandaddy and I have been praying that you'd find your happiness. You deserve this."
"I can't help it, Gran," I told her. "I'm just so happy right now."
She gave me another smile, one of understanding.
"So," Tracy said, breaking the moment I was sharing with Gran. I turned around to face the small crowd of women and girls who were standing around the kitchen. I knew that I was going to have to answer their questions if I wanted to get out of there alive. "You're a girl now?"
I thought my dad had been pretty clear on that statement. I nodded, but a sudden thought had me reaching into my purse. I pulled out the small compact that was inside and opened it to examine my face. Luckily I had gone light on the makeup, and I didn't look any worse for wear after the tears I had shed with Gran.
"I guess so," Kendra, one of the younger girls said. That got most of them laughing, and I blushed slightly as I replaced the compact in my purse.
"And this is real?" Tracy continued. She was waving her hand over my small chest and the slight glimpse of cleavage the dress gave.
"Yeah," I answered with a nod of my head. It seemed weird to be talking about this, but they were family, and I knew they cared about me.
"How long have you been on hormones?" Tracy continued her questioning.
"I haven't been taking hormones," I replied truthfully. She looked skeptical at my answer, so I continued. "Without any testosterone in my body, I've been developing this way for a couple of years."
She still looked skeptical when she said, "That seems like pretty generous development. I know that both men and women have some of the hormones of the opposite sex, but this seems like more development than you should have expected."
I was fairly stunned at her statement. Tracy is a Registered Nurse, and had quite an extensive medical knowledge to back it up. I didn't know what she was implying. I looked over at Mom, and she seemed to be stunned too. Could there be more to my condition than just the accident?
"I'm sorry," Tracy said almost immediately. "I didn't mean anything by that. I was just curious."
It was Mom who was able to voice our shared question. "Do you think there could be more to this than just her accident?"
"I honestly don't know," Tracy said. "I've heard of men who have been castrated developing larger nipples or a little puffiness, but nothing like this."
"Should we get it checked out?" Mom asked. I couldn't help but hear the worry that was in her voice.
"I guess it couldn't hurt," Tracy replied, juggling Heather into a new position on her hip. "I doubt there's anything life threatening involved, but it might help explain some things. I guess the real question is, are you happy?"
This one I could answer with assurance. I'd had plenty of time to think about it.
"Yes," I told her. "I am."
I had a warm feeling spread throughout my chest when I saw the smiles on all the women in the room.
After the novelty of me had faded somewhat, the family managed to settle down to a very delicious family meal together. One thing I could always count on when Mom's family got together was the good food. There were so many good cooks in her family we could open a chain of restaurants. It might be kind of nice to have Mom teach me a thing or two. I've never really cooked before, but I've always wished I knew how.
After dinner the family started to break apart into various groups. Most of the men were back in front of the TV, many of the women were talking around the dining table, most of the kids were running around in the basement playroom, and Katy and I found ourselves in her room.
Katy was showing me everything that she thought I would need to know to be a good girl. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I knew most of what she was trying to teach me.
She felt that I needed to have a good fashion sense. What she didn't know, and what I was reluctant to tell her, was that Julia had done a very good job of drilling into me the "rules" that I would have to live by. Katy was becoming frustrated when she would ask me a question she thought I couldn't answer, but I'd get it right anyway.
"I guess you truly are a girl then," she finally admitted when she couldn't stump me. She flopped down on her bed next to me. We were silent for a bit, the only sound in the room our breathing and the quiet song coming from her radio.
Before either of us could say anything else, the DJ started speaking.
"Stay tuned," he said. "After the break we've got a brand spankin' new song from an up and coming artist that you don't want to miss. After the break I'll introduce you to Sarah Carerra."
I bolted upright on Katy's bed.
They were going to play my song!
"What?" Katy asked.
I would have replied, but I was already off the bed and out her door.
"Mom! Dad! Come quick!" I yelled as I entered the great room. Everyone was staring at me, but I found my dad and motioned for him to follow me back to Katy's room.
"What is it?" he asked with concern.
"They're going to play Sarah's song on the radio!" I exclaimed as I continued to motion for him to follow me.
That was enough for him. I noticed that he was out of his seat quickly, and Mom wasn't far behind.
"Who's Sarah?" Katy asked as I turned to head back down the hall and almost ran over her.
"Come on!" I told her and raced back into her room. Fortunately it was still a commercial when I got there.
"Who's Sarah?" Katy asked again when I had sat myself back on her bed in anticipation.
"She's one of my clients," Dad replied for me. "She and Megan hit it off pretty well when they met the other day."
I knew that he wasn't going to tell the family my secret. If I couldn't tell Emily, why would we tell the family?
I noticed that quite a few people had followed us into Katy's room. Tracy was there along with a couple of the other older girls.
But it was the look on Aunt Judy's face that surprised me. She had a grin on her face that was nearly as long as mine! She knew! Her wink at me proved it!
I felt my jaw drop. I didn't understand how she knew. There's no way that Dad would have told her. But Mom...It HAD to have been Mom! Mom and Aunt Judy were like twins. They were born a year apart, and if Gran was to be believed, they were nearly inseparable while they grew up. Of course Mom would have told her!
Then I was surprised by the jealousy that overcame me. I was furious that Mom could tell her best friend, but I couldn't tell Emily! It was MY career!
I glanced over at my mom. She had seen my reaction. Her warning glance told me that I had better not tell my dad.
"Did I miss it?" Austin yelled at that moment as he came barreling into Katy's room.
"No," Dad said, and the warning glance he gave to Austin made sure that he didn't give anything away.
Before anyone could say anything else, I heard the intro to ‘Intuition' come through the speakers. Katy thankfully reached over and turned it up.
I closed my eyes for a moment, and I could almost see the music. I'd sung this song so many times by this point that it was ingrained in my head. This would hopefully be the song that jump-started my career as a teen pop sensation.
The chorus started, and I found myself quietly singing along...
It's just my...
In-tu-i-tion
I know it's meant to be,
When you are here with me.
In-tu-i-tion
All my dreams come true,
When I feel this love for you.
I realized what I was doing and closed my mouth. The last thing I needed was for someone to realize that my singing matched the actual song!
The song continued to play, and I settled for quietly humming along. When it was over, I was left with a joy that I had never felt before. My song was on the radio!
"That was really good!" Katy exclaimed from next to me on the bed. "How do you know the words?"
I blushed at her question. I shouldn't know the words to a brand new song, right?
"I was in the studio with her when she recorded it," I said and turned to my dad, looking for confirmation. He thankfully nodded. I mean, I WAS there when Sarah recorded it, so it wasn't exactly a lie, right?
"That was ‘Intuition' by Sarah Carerra," the DJ interrupted us. "If you didn't see her during the Tween Awards last Saturday, you better look out. Josh Holliday promised us she has a long career ahead of her."
I was blushing again at the mention of Josh. At least only my parents knew about that. Or so I thought, the confusion on Aunt Judy's face reminded me that she knew the truth. She obviously hadn't seen the Tween Awards or heard about Josh from my mother either.
Everyone started to wander off and I laid back down on Katy's bed, enjoying the afterglow.
Later that evening I was sitting on the couch with some of the family. They were watching TV, but I was mostly watching Heather.
Tracy seemed convinced that I was a girl and had left Heather in my care while she went to help with the birthday cake in the kitchen.
There was something about the infant that gave me a funny feeling. It was a good feeling, but I'd never felt it before.
Heather was only about six months old, but she was the cutest little baby I had ever seen. She seemed to be so full of energy, and her wide eyes wanted to take in everything they could see.
I was playing peek-a-boo with her, and she was really enjoying it. But apparently her squeals of delight were annoying some of the others.
"Would you shut up!" I heard Derek yell at me from the other side of the room.
"Yeah!" I heard Kyle quickly agree.
I looked over at them and they were both glaring at me.
"Cake!" Tracy yelled from the kitchen, interrupting any altercation that would have started.
Derek and Kyle seemed to forget about me immediately and raced toward the kitchen. By the time I was able to get Heather situated on my hip and made my own way there they were already singing to Aunt Judy.
After the song the pandemonium started as everyone tried to get their cake first. I decided I'd better keep Heather out of the melee and leaned against one of the walls to wait my turn.
"You'll make a good mother yourself someday," Aunt Judy said. I turned to find her standing next to me. I also felt myself blush again. "You look like a natural with Heather."
"Thank you," I managed to reply.
"That was a wonderful song," Aunt Judy told me with that knowing smile. "I'm really proud of you."
My blush wasn't going to go away if she kept this up.
"Thank you," I told her again. "Dad won't be happy if he finds out you know."
That got her to chuckle. "I know, dear, but your mom and I share everything with each other. It was eating her inside not to talk about it."
"I know," I said. "But it seems unfair that you know, but I can't tell my best friend."
"I'm sorry, honey," Aunt Judy said. "Your dad is just doing what he thinks is best for you."
"I know, but it still hurts," I replied.
"It'll only be for a little while," she explained. "Before you know it you'll be enjoying the secret together."
I've heard that before, but it didn't make me feel any better.
Luckily, birthday cake could.
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"You guys want to go to the beach after school?" Emily asked while we walked to school.
That question alone caused my heart rate to increase, and the beating in my chest helped fill me with more dread than I had felt since I had made my decision to become Megan! Sarah Carerra
Chapter 23 - Ripples in the Water by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: February 22, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 23 - Ripples in the Water
I woke up on Tuesday excited to go to school.
Instead of heading for Brett's side of the closet I immediately headed for Megan's side. Somehow I managed to resist wearing a skirt or dress, and ended up in a pair of jeans and a comfortable but feminine top. I pulled my hair back into another high ponytail and set to work on my makeup.
It was going to be a good day.
"You guys want to go to the beach after school?" Emily asked while we walked to school.
That question alone caused my heart rate to increase, and the beating in my chest helped fill me with more dread than I had felt since I had made my decision to become Megan!
"Why?" I asked cautiously.
"Because," she replied. "We haven't been to the beach in over two weeks. Mom said she'd drive us."
It was a bit sad. All of us were sixteen and had our drivers' licenses, but no car to drive ourselves in. Both Emily's parents and my own were reluctant to let us drive alone anyway. At least Ethan's parents sometimes let him borrow the car.
But the beach meant wearing a different kind of swimsuit than I had worn the last time we went. And the only suit I owned was the bikini my mom had insisted on purchasing. I might want to live the rest of my life as Megan, but I wasn't sure I was ready to wear a bikini in public!
"I'm game," Ethan said, breaking my train of thought.
"Come on, Megan," Emily had a mischievous glint in her eye. "It'll be fun."
She did know what she was asking then! I had wondered if she knew.
"You'll look good," she said, trying harder to convince me.
That wasn't what I was worried about.
"You promised you'd hang out with us," she continued in a sweet voice that only served to torment me more. But it was the guilt of not spending time with them that made my decision.
"Fine," I replied. "But that doesn't mean I'll like it."
"Yes!" she exclaimed. "Megan's wearing a bikini!"
"I won't if you keep that up," I told her sternly. It only made her laugh.
I was getting looks again when I walked down the hall at school. I couldn't imagine why. It wasn't like I'd been getting progressively more feminine or anything.
Ethan left us at his locker and Emily and I continued down toward our own. She was still trying to convince me that wearing the bikini would be a good thing while we walked.
"Freak!" I heard someone yell and the next thing I knew I was being slammed into the lockers and then I fell to the ground.
Gasping for breath, I looked up to try and figure out what had happened. I couldn't see anyone other than Emily around me, but there was a group of football players laughing as they walked away.
"Are you okay?" Emily asked me and tried to help me up. It was still hard to breathe and I didn't make it past kneeling while I tried to catch my breath.
"Yeah," I was finally able to wheeze.
When I felt strong enough I stood up, surprised again to find that I was now surrounded by a group of girls who hadn't been there a moment before. They all looked like they were ready to kill someone. Not wanting to take another hit I involuntarily took a step backward.
"I can't believe he did that!" one of them stated. I didn't know her name, but recognized her from one of my classes.
"Yeah," another agreed. "Is that how the football team treats girls?"
Apparently this group was not mad at me! I found myself letting out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.
I knew that not everyone was happy with what I was doing. I'd seen the looks I'd been getting. But I hadn't actually expected violence!
"Come on," Emily said while pulling on my arm. "Let's get you to class."
"Megan Campbell?" My first period teacher asked. She looked confused at the name.
"Here," I said, happy that Principal Hall had come through with his promise.
She looked at me, and seemed to gain some recognition. The name might be new, and it was the first time I'd worn makeup to school, but I was still identifiable as the same person. That was probably part of my problem.
"You're looking good today," the teacher told me with a genuine smile. I was glad that at least one of them was okay with what I was doing.
I'd managed to make it out of the school alive. I was glad to be between Ethan and Emily as we walked home, happy to have some friendly company once again. I really wished I shared more classes with them.
During school I had been knocked down three times in the halls, tripped by a cheerleader when turning in my quiz during fourth period, and been cursed at and called names that I didn't want to repeat.
It was obvious that I had crossed a line somewhere.
I guess most people were still okay with what I was doing. It was only a small number of people who seemed to be tormenting me. But they were a very vocal and physical minority.
"You don't look so good," Emily said, giving me a quick hug.
I really needed the hug. I was starting to regret my decision to come to school as Megan.
"Tough day?" Ethan asked.
"Horrible!" I replied. "Maybe this was a bad idea."
"No!" Emily argued immediately. "It's never a bad idea to be who you are supposed to be!"
"I guess," I agreed with her. "But I've never been pushed down in the halls or tripped before at school."
"They'll get over it," Ethan said. "They'll move on to something else soon enough."
"Soon enough might not be soon enough," I told him. "There's still a week and a half left."
"Well, then it will be over soon." I guess Ethan's logic was sound, but it didn't make me feel any better.
"Forget about school," Emily said to change the subject. "We're going to the beach!"
I didn't share her enthusiasm. I really liked the beach, but I was scared to wear my bikini.
Coupled with the fear of wearing the bikini was the fear that my classmates would also be at the beach. We often ran into people we knew at the local beach, and I wasn't sure that being seen in a bikini would do me any good.
Eventually we reached Ethan's house, and he went inside to get ready, promising to meet us at Emily's home shortly. When we reached my house Emily and I split up to get ourselves ready.
Entering my house I found my mom in the front room watching TV.
"Hi, honey," she greeted me. "How was your day?"
"Horrible," I replied. "I was knocked down three times, tripped at least once, and I've been called all kinds of names."
She looked concerned, but I didn't really have the time to talk now if I was going to make it to Emily's anytime soon.
"We can talk about it later," I said before she could get started. "I have to get ready to go to the beach with Emily and Ethan."
"Oh," she said slightly downcast. "Okay."
I felt bad about not talking to her, but I knew Emily would be upset if I took too long.
I rushed out of the room and down the hall to my own. I pulled the bikini out of the drawer it was in and placed it on the bed. It was black, and thankfully not frilly in any way. It was actually pretty basic, and that simplicity helped me gather the courage to put it on.
I stepped over to my full-length mirror. Once again I was surprised at how good I looked. I didn't understand how a small boy like Brett could become such a sexy vixen as Megan. I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a sexy vixen.
My experiences since becoming Megan had proven that I had some kind of attraction to guys now. Both Daren and Josh could attest to that, but I still wasn't sure how that made me feel. What about all the attractive girls I knew?
It was then that I was hit with an odd feeling. I realized that I hadn't actually looked at a girl in that way for quite a while! Longer than I had been living as Megan, at least. It had been months. I started to wonder if becoming a girl was really my choice, or if it was destiny.
"You look beautiful," I heard my mom say from behind me. I hadn't heard her come in. I turned around and smiled at her. She had been so good to me throughout my life, but this last week and a half we had grown closer than we had ever been in my life.
"Thank you, Mom," I told her and wrapped her in a hug. I started to tear up at the emotions I was feeling.
"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, returning the hug.
"Yeah," I said as I laid my head on her shoulder. "It was a rough day, but I'm okay. I can make it to the end of school, if nothing else."
"You know I'm always here if you need to talk," she told me. I nodded slightly and gave her another squeeze before breaking the hug.
"I know, Mom. I'm fine," I replied.
She looked at me again, the concern she felt for me apparent in her eyes. "Okay then."
I smiled at her, happy for the love and concern that she had shown me.
"Oh," she said while I pulled the summer dress that I wanted to use as a cover-up from my closet. "Before I forget, I made you an appointment with a gender specialist on Friday."
"Why?" I asked while putting on the dress. "I thought that was what Mary was for."
"She is," Mom replied. "But she can only help with your mind. This doctor can give us a better look at what is going on with your body."
"Is this because of what Tracy said?" I asked her. It seemed likely that Mom would act on the concern that we had felt the night before over what my cousin had told us.
"Yes," my mom said. "If nothing is wrong, she'll at least be able to help us with the hormones if you're ready to take the next step."
I nodded. While I had definitely decided that becoming Megan for the rest of my life was the right decision, having it actually happen still made me a bit nervous.
A honk from outside ended our conversation. Apparently I was the last one to get ready, and Emily and her mom were waiting for me.
"I gotta go, Mom," I said while giving my mother a quick kiss on the cheek in appreciation.
"Ok, honey. Have fun."
I quickly grabbed my beach tote that I had filled with sunscreen and a towel, threw my purse inside and headed for the front door.
"How about here?" I asked, indicating an open area of the beach that should stay outside of the path of the waves.
"Sure," Emily agreed and I pulled my towel out and placed it on the sand before I reached for my sunscreen. Like I knew she would, Anna placed her towel next to mine and Emily was quick to place hers on the other side of Anna. Ethan placed his towel on my other side, but I noticed that there was quite a bit more distance between his and mine than usual. I figured that it had something to do with my new gender.
Once our towels were laid out, Anna immediately grabbed my hand and started pulling me toward the water.
"Come on, Megan," she said urgently. "The waves are just right for body boarding."
I had to agree with her. There seemed to be a breeze coming in from the ocean, and the waves were slightly larger than normal. They would definitely make for some fun body boarding.
"Ok, ok," I told her, but didn't let her drag me too far. "But we need to put sunscreen on first, and I'm still in my dress!"
She paused in her tugging. It was obvious that she didn't want to wait, but she also seemed to want me to go with her.
"Hurry then," she told me impatiently.
"You need sunscreen too," I told her, which elicited a pout from her.
"It takes too long!" she whined.
I just smirked and turned back toward my towel and the tote sitting next to it. I quickly pulled off the flimsy dress and neatly folded it before placing it in my tote. I then reached for the sunscreen I had dropped when Anna started pulling me toward the water.
"Whoa!" I heard Ethan choke out. When I glanced at him I noticed that he was staring at me. I'd avoided taking my clothes off around Emily and Ethan for a while now, hoping to disguise the changes that I had been going through. But those changes were pretty clear now that all I had on was a bikini.
"Geez, Meg," Emily said somewhat stunned. "When did you become such a looker?"
I felt myself blush again. I wished I could stop the reddening response that had become such a recurring part of my life lately.
"I'm sorry guys, I've been trying to hide it somewhat," I told them. "Now it doesn't really matter so much."
"Are you sure you aren't really a girl?" Ethan asked, still staring at me.
"You're staring," I told him and was satisfied to see someone else blush for once. He turned toward his own gym bag and pulled out his own sunscreen to hide the reaction.
I chuckled lightly before answering. "Not anymore; my cousin Tracy thinks that there may be more than just the accident at work."
"Why does she think that?" Emily said while applying her own sunscreen. I squirted some of mine into my hand and started rubbing it across my skin.
"She's a nurse," I said, and Emily and Ethan both nodded. "She said at the party last night that I seemed to have more...curves than someone in my position should have."
"Do you believe her?" Emily asked.
"I don't know," I told her truthfully. "I hadn't thought about it before. My mom made me an appointment with a doctor on Friday to see if we can find anything else out."
"Hurry," Anna half-begged, half-whined. I finished applying my sunscreen and figured it was her turn.
"Come here," I said, turning to her. "Let me put some on you."
She whined again, but stepped closer to where I could start rubbing some of the lotion on her. She was dressed in a nice pink one piece, which meant she had a lot less skin that needed to be covered by the smelly goop.
"Come on!" Anna yelled when I was finished and she picked up her body board again before running toward the water. With a sigh and a look toward Ethan I grabbed my own board and followed her. Ethan was right behind us, and Emily laid back to get some sun.
The waves certainly were doing their job as we spent much of the afternoon body boarding. Anna was definitely feeling a lot better than she had been on Sunday. She seemed to be nearly fully recovered based on the amount of energy she had.
By the time we collapsed on our towels nearly an hour and a half later, I was exhausted.
"That was fun," Anna said, and she looked like she was ready for more. She also looked a bit red, so I grabbed the sunscreen and reapplied it to both of us.
"I hate you, you know," Emily said from her towel. She was sunning her back now while reading a book.
"Why?" I asked, unsure where her comment had come from.
"Because you don't have to tan!"
I had to laugh at her reason. My family heritage was mixed, but the end result was that both Austin and I had skin that looked like we had a slight tan. I wasn't sure where it came from, because both of my parents were pretty white. It hadn't really been an issue when I was Brett, but now that I was a girl, she seemed to envy it.
I looked over at her. I really wasn't that much darker than she was, but apparently a shade or two was all it took.
Anna was apparently more exhausted than she looked, because she had managed to fall asleep on her beach towel. Ethan was lying on his back reading a book, so I reached into my tote and pulled out my own before lying on my stomach to read. Soon, I was engrossed in my novel.
"Hey!" I heard someone yell from down the beach. "It's the freak and his friends!"
I looked up, and walking toward us was a couple of football players and their cheerleader girlfriends.
"Hey freak," Tom, the team's quarterback, yelled as he approached us. "What are you doing out of your cage?"
"Shut up, Tom," Ethan said calmly as he stood up. "Megan is not a freak."
"Oh yeah?" Tom said to him. "Says who?"
"Go away, Tom," Emily said, standing herself.
"What?" Tom said. "Can't the freak speak for himself?"
"Tom," I said. I was still lying on my stomach, where I had been reading my book. "You may not believe this, but I really am a girl."
I stood up and turned toward him. I saw his jaw drop slightly, and one of the girls actually squeaked. I knew that I looked anything but manly in that bikini, and he would be hard-pressed to prove I wasn't female. In fact, without removing my bikini bottoms, something I definitely would not be doing, there was nothing that would indicate I wasn't a girl.
"And can you keep it down, Anna is asleep," I continued, pointing at the sleeping 10-year-old.
We stood in silence for a minute, as I stared at all of them and they stared back at me. It was obvious that the jocks were at a loss for words. I knew that there wasn't any bulge in my bikini bottoms to make them think I had something that a girl shouldn't have. The accident had made sure that it wasn't big enough to show.
Finally Greg, the other football player, found his voice again. "So you've already had the surgery?"
His question left a confused look on both Ethan and Emily's faces, but I knew what he meant.
"No, Greg," I answered him. "I haven't had any surgeries."
"But..." he sputtered. "But how?"
"I'm sure you heard me at school," I replied. "The doctors made a mistake when I was born."
The three of them stared at me for a few moments before Carrie, one of the cheerleaders, spoke. "Come on, Tom, let's just go."
After they were out of sight, I turned back to my friends.
"Maybe we'd better go too," I told them. They nodded, and we packed up to leave.
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"Josh!" I gasped, not expecting to find Josh Holliday standing on my porch! "What are you doing here?"
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 24 - Holliday Surprise by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: March 1, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 24 - Holliday Surprise
Wednesday morning had me dreading school again. I couldn't believe that the day before I had been excited to go to school as Megan. Now, I was considering dressing up as Brett again.
Eventually, I was able to talk myself into jeans and another t-shirt, both out of Megan's side of the closet. This is what I wanted. I would have to take the bad with the good.
The walk to school was fairly somber. I hoped that today would be better than yesterday, but I didn't see any reason why it would be. Most people would leave me alone again, but those few who didn't would probably torment me until the bell rang to go home.
"Don't worry, Megan," Emily said while we walked. "It won't be as bad as yesterday."
I appreciated what she was trying to do, but it wasn't working.
"What makes you think it will be any different?" I asked her.
"Well," she started. "I'm pretty sure that Tom and Carrie and the others thought you were completely female when they left the beach yesterday. They'll tell the others, and people will stop harassing you."
I didn't agree with her. Even if I had somehow convinced Tom and his friends, I doubted it would stop anyone else from harassing me. I wasn't even sure that I had convinced them of anything other than the fact that I could look female in a bikini.
Living my double life, I was more than aware that looks could be deceiving.
My mood improved when I managed to make it to my first class without incident. I'd passed a few people who had called me names yesterday, but all they managed to give me that morning were sneers or dirty looks.
First period was interesting. After the morning announcements the school-wide TV system came on and we all sat through a ten minute video about tolerance. They didn't specifically address anything about gender issues, but I got the feeling that my situation may have been the catalyst for showing the video.
Principal Hall then got on the speaker and talked about the punishments that would be handed out for discrimination-based incidents. His stern, uncompromising talk about possible expulsion and missing finals left me with mixed emotions about whether I would be taunted more or less because of the video.
The rest of the day had been pretty uneventful. We still had our boring lessons to prepare us for next week's finals, and nobody really had a desire to be there.
But nobody really said or did anything to me. I heard comments a few times while walking down the hall, but nobody said anything directly to me. I did get pushed from behind by a girl as we exited one of our classes, but it was so light that I couldn't tell if she meant it as an insult or if she was trying to get out of the door quickly.
By the end of the day I felt that I'd be able to make it to the end of the school year if every day was like that day had been. I was in a lot better mood while we walked home.
"Better day?" Emily asked with a smile on her face. I could tell that she already knew my answer.
I smiled back before answering. "Much better. Nobody said or did anything to me today."
"I bet the tolerance video helped a lot," Ethan said.
"Yeah," I agreed. "Even if they didn't say anything specifically about what I'm going through, it still seemed to have that feel. Either way, it really helped."
We continued walking home and talking about our days. It was nice to be in the company of Emily and Ethan for a second day in a row. I'd spent far too little time with them since Johnny's party the week before.
"Do you guys want to hang out at my house?" I asked them. "We could finish our homework and then watch a movie or something."
"Sure," Emily said.
"Sounds good to me," Ethan agreed.
"Great!" I told them. "I've missed hanging out with you guys.
I was engrossed in a math problem when the doorbell rang. Ethan and Emily were watching TV, having already finished their homework, but it was my house and I had to extricate myself from underneath my textbooks.
I walked over to the door and opened it.
"Josh!" I gasped, not expecting to find Josh Holliday standing on my porch! "What are you doing here?"
"Sarah?" he asked, obviously confused. I realized then that I was not wearing my wig or anything else that would identify me as Sarah Carerra. I would need to be careful if I wanted to keep my secret.
"No, no," I said quickly while shaking my head. "My name is Megan. I'm Don's daughter."
I just hoped the deflection worked! If he made the connection between Sarah and me, he would probably give it away to Emily and Ethan, and anyone else he might tell!
"Oh," Josh said, and the confusion seemed to leave his face. "Is Sarah here?"
"No, why?" I asked as if Sarah being here was an uncommon event.
"Oh," he said again, and his face fell slightly. "You wouldn't happen to know when she'll be back, do you?"
Josh thought that Sarah lived here! I'd forgotten about that! He'd asked me last Saturday why I was staying with Don, and I hadn't given him any reason to believe Sarah wasn't staying here.
"I don't know," I told him truthfully. "She usually only stays here when she's in town."
"Oh," Josh said again, sounding like a broken record. "I thought she was living here."
"Is there anything I can do for you?" I asked him. I felt really bad about how depressed my answers had made him.
"Probably not," he said. He looked frustrated now. "Where does she live, anyway?"
"You'll have to ask my dad," I told him, watching the sullen look increase slightly. "He doesn't really share that kind of information with me."
"Is he here?"
I looked over at the large clock that Mom had hung from our wall. The two hands told me that it was nearly 5:30. Dad usually got home from the office around this time assuming he didn't have to go somewhere with a client.
"Not yet," I said while turning back to where Josh was still standing on the porch. "He should be home any minute if you want to come in and wait."
"Okay, I guess," he said nervously. I got the impression that he didn't really feel like hanging out with a teenager who wasn't famous, even if I was his own age and had managed to keep myself from mooning all over him.
I stepped back and opened the door further to allow him to enter. I noticed at about the same time that both Ethan and Emily were staring at him like they couldn't believe he was standing there.
Dad rarely had any of his clients over to the house. Neither of my friends had been here at those times either. I tried to signal them to act normal, but I was pretty sure they didn't see me.
Josh, on the other hand, noticed them immediately. He seemed to be even more nervous about staying here when he noticed I had friends over.
"Maybe waiting isn't such a good idea," he vocalized. "I can come back."
"If you want to wait in the green room, we'll stay out of your way," I told him, trying to put him at ease. He nodded at the idea.
I started walking down the hall, and a quick glance back showed that he was following me. Ethan and Emily started to get up, but a quick shake of my head had them sitting back down on the couch.
I opened the door to Sarah's room and led him in. He looked around, and I got the feeling he was uncomfortable with the feminine decorations.
"This is Sarah's room," I told him after the door was closed behind him. He'd seen the room on Saturday, but I don't think he'd really seen the room, if his wandering eyes were any indication. "You're welcome to watch TV or something while you wait. There are drinks in the small fridge over there."
He nodded, but continued to stand in front of the door, looking uncomfortable.
"Are you sure this is okay?" he eventually asked. "I mean, I wouldn't want her to get mad at me for being in her room or anything."
I chuckled silently at his discomfort. Even if this was technically 'my' room, it wasn't really 'my' room. My bed and all of my real personal belongings were in the next room.
"It'll be okay," I told him with a smile that seemed to confuse him slightly. I had a sudden concern that my smile looked too much like Sarah's.
"She only uses it when she's in town, and mostly for her clothes. She won't mind. Just don't go snooping through the closet," I said and then winked at him. I really didn't expect him to turn red, but he did. Quite red, in fact. It was cute.
"Anyway," I said, choosing to ignore his embarrassment. "Would you like me to call my dad and see how long he'll be?"
"Yeah," Josh said, his skin lightening to a more normal color. "That would be great."
"Okay," I told him. "I'll be right back."
I left him still standing near the door in Sarah's room and headed back into the front room to get my cell phone.
"What is Josh Holliday doing in your house?" Emily whispered excitedly when I re-entered the room.
"He wants to talk to Sarah or my dad," I told her.
"Why didn't he just call?" Ethan asked. I must admit, I was thinking the same thing. It was obvious that he was really hoping to see Sarah again.
"I think he was hoping Sarah was here," I replied while picking up my purse. I could tell that they wanted more information, such as why she would be at my house, but I wasn't ready to provide it.
I opened my purse and found my phone inside. But before I could call my dad, I heard the garage door opening, and someone entering the house.
"Dad?" I called out, hoping it was him.
"Yes?" he replied and stepped out of the kitchen and into the front room, still holding his briefcase.
"Good, you're home." I told him and got up and gave him a hug. "I was just about to call you."
"Why?" Dad asked, somewhat concerned. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," I replied, giving him a reassuring smile. "But Josh Holliday is in the green room."
"Josh Holliday is here?" he asked. I nodded and pointed at Sarah's room to show him what room I was referring to as the 'green' room. His look of understanding and the quick glance over at Ethan and Emily showed that he knew why I was referring to it that way.
If Emily heard that Sarah Carerra had a room in our house, she wouldn't stop bugging me until she got to see it. That was something my dad didn't want, even if I did, and therefore the room had to be kept a secret.
"What does he want?" Dad asked me, and I smiled nervously.
"He was hoping Sarah was here," I explained. "When I told him she wasn't here, he wanted to talk to you and agreed to wait for you to get home."
Dad nodded again, but seemed to be as perplexed as I was at Josh's presence.
"Alright," he said. "I'll see what he wants."
Dad then walked down the hall and entered Sarah's room, leaving me to wonder exactly why Josh Holliday was at my house.
I returned to the couch, but there was no way I would be able to concentrate on my Math homework now. I knew I would have to deal with the stares that Emily and Ethan were giving me.
"What?" I finally asked them.
"Josh Holliday is in your house!" Emily exclaimed.
"Yeah," I agreed. "So..?"
She looked at me like I had grown a second head.
"A celebrity is in your house, and you don't even care?" she asked incredulously.
"It's not the first time," I admitted truthfully. It wasn't even the first time that Josh had been here, but she didn't need to know about that. I shrugged and turned back to the TV.
A minute or two later I heard a door open down the hall.
"Come on down into my office," I heard my dad say as his voice got louder. "We can give Sarah a call and you can tell her the good news yourself."
Uh oh, I was pretty sure that was a warning from my dad! I was going to have to find somewhere to take a call privately away from Emily and Ethan.
I turned around to look down the hall, where Emily and Ethan were still staring. Dad caught my eye and gestured back to Sarah's room, offering me a safe place. I nodded slightly to let him know I got the message. He and Josh then disappeared into my dad's office.
"I'll be right back," I told my friends before I stood up again and grabbed my phone. I slipped it into my pocket so that they wouldn't see me taking it with me.
"Where are you going?" Emily asked, more interested than I would have liked her to be.
"I have to go make sure the green room is cleaned up and stuff," I told her. "Be back in a second."
Before they could say anything else I quickly walked down the hall and locked myself into Sarah's room.
I sat down on the couch and waited for the phone call. After about a minute, my phone started to ring. I checked to make sure it was Dad's number before answering the call.
"Hello?" I said into the receiver.
"Sarah?" Dad said. "Hi, it's Don Campbell."
"Hi, Don," I replied like I wasn't expecting the call. "How are you doing?"
"I'm doing well," he replied. I doubt Josh would be able to, but I could hear the humor in his voice at our faked conversation.
"Listen," my dad said. "I'm here with Josh Holliday. He has something exciting he wants to tell you."
"Hi, Sarah," Josh said, confirming my suspicions that Dad was using the speaker phone.
"Hi, Josh," I replied. I wasn't quite sure what to say to him. We'd left on good terms Friday night, and I thought we could at least be friends. There was also that romantic piece to the evening that I was still slightly unsure of.
But before I had a chance to say anything else, Josh started speaking again, apparently excited about whatever he wanted to tell me.
"I've got great news, Sarah!" he said excitedly. "I want you to open for me a week from Saturday in Salt Lake City!"
I sat there stunned! Josh Holliday was offering me a chance to perform my first concert! This doesn't happen, right? My first song only came out two days earlier! You just don't do a concert two weeks after your first song debuts!
Heck, I only had the one song to sing!
"Wow," I was eventually able to say, but was still pretty much speechless.
"Yeah," Josh continued. "The drummer in the band that was supposed to be opening decided he wanted to quit the band, and they won't be able to get a replacement in time. When the organizer asked me if I knew anyone who could replace them on short notice, I thought of you."
"I think this is an excellent opportunity," my dad interrupted. His comment told me that it was something I should accept.
"That sounds great, Josh," I said. "I would love to open for you, but I've only got one song, I don't know how I'd be able to..."
"I think we can do it, Sarah," Dad said. "I was talking with Scott this morning. He said that the record company was intrigued at how well your song is already doing and they have started to compile some songs for an album. They may be able to provide enough for the concert."
"How many do I need?" I asked. Once again Sarah's career seemed to be moving too fast!
"It's a six song set," Josh answered. "The organizers may not want to shorten it too much, though. I'd think you would need at least five songs."
"I think that's doable, Josh," my dad answered for me. "Can we check with the record company and give you an answer tomorrow?"
"Yes," Josh said, and I could hear the excitement in his voice again. "I told the organizers of the concert I would give them an answer by Friday."
"Is that okay with you, Sarah?" Dad asked me. I was still shocked at the offer, but I was definitely willing to do it. I had already started feeling nervous about standing in front of a crowd and singing, but I knew I would have to do it at some point.
"I'd be honored, Josh," I said, answering him instead of my father.
"Awesome!" Josh nearly yelled into the receiver. "This is going to be great!"
I chuckled at his response. He'd been smitten with Sarah all night last Saturday, and it didn't look like anything had changed.
"Alright then," Dad said. "I'll contact the record company and see what we can do. I'll give you a call in the morning, Sarah."
"Okay," I agreed. "And thank you, Josh, for the opportunity."
"It's my pleasure," he told me.
"Well," Dad interrupted us. I didn't think he wanted any lovey-dovey type stuff to happen while he was there. "I don't want to waste your time, Sarah. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
Even though I wanted to talk to Josh more, I could take a hint. "Alright, goodbye Don, I'll talk to you later, Josh."
"Bye, Sarah," Josh said. I could hear pain in his voice now. It was obvious that he wanted to talk to me longer.
I heard the click of the receiver indicating that the line had gone dead.
I surprised myself by realizing that I too wanted to talk to Josh longer. We'd made a connection Saturday night. What that connection meant was something I still didn't know, but I wanted to find out. If only I could have talked to Josh longer.
Then I remembered he was in the next room.
I quickly opened the door and rushed back to the living room. I needed to be ready when Josh came out of Dad's office.
Emily and Ethan were looking at me oddly when I ran in and grabbed my notebook, but I didn't care. I ripped off a sheet of paper before turning back to my phone.
Dad had set up a second line for me on my cell phone. The new line was an unlisted number for Sarah. It would allow me to receive phone calls for both of my lives without having to carry around a second phone. It also provided the ability to have separate voicemail messages for each identity, keeping those a secret too.
But I'd never used the second line until today. Dad had called me on it from his office, but nobody else knew the number, including me!
Trudging through the long list of contacts on my phone, I finally found the entry for Sarah Carerra that I created to help me remember the number. Quickly jotting down Sarah's name and the number, I folded up the paper. Now I only had to wait for my chance to give it to Josh.
"What are you doing?" I heard Emily ask. It probably wasn't the first time she had asked the question, but I hadn't heard any of her other attempts.
"Uh," was my undignified response. "Writing down Sarah's number to give to Josh. I don't think he's going to get it from my dad, but she wants him to have it."
"You have Sarah's number?" she asked me incredulously.
"Yeah," I replied. "She gave it to me after we went to dinner at the Crawford's last week."
It was a small lie, but it wasn't entirely untrue. Dad had been the one to give me the number that night.
Surprisingly, Emily started laughing. I gave her an odd look, much like Ethan was.
"You're telling me that you had Sarah's number when Johnny confronted you in the hall the next day?" she asked.
Johnny had been so adamant that I needed to get the number from my dad, not knowing that I already had it. When she put it that way, I found myself giggling with her. I probably wouldn't have made it out of that hallway alive if Johnny knew the number was stored in my phone.
"What's so funny?" Ethan had to ask. He hadn't been there at the time, and probably didn't know the story.
"Johnny Crawford was practically begging Megan to get Sarah's number for him last week," Emily explained. "But she refused, saying that there was no way she could get it without getting grounded."
Ethan just shrugged and turned back to the TV. It obviously wasn't as funny to him. I really didn't see why Emily was laughing so much.
She was still chuckling to herself when the door to Dad's office opened a minute or two later.
The sound of Josh's voice echoing from the hallway sent butterflies flying around in my stomach. I was going to give a boy my number! I wasn't even sure if I was ready for that!
I stood up and watched Josh follow my dad into the living room. Josh was still smiling, and I was glad to see that cutting the conversation short hadn't depressed him any more than I had earlier.
"Thanks for coming by, Josh," Dad was saying. "I'll give you a call tomorrow and let you know if she'll be able to do it."
"Thanks, Don," he said with a smile. I was beginning to like that smile.
A scramble on the couch next to me had me look away, where I found Emily scrambling to find a pen after she tore a piece of paper from my notebook. She obviously was hoping for an autograph.
"Josh!" she yelled, finding a pen and holding it in the air. "Can I have your autograph?"
Josh looked over at us, and I saw him chuckle. He seemed so different now than he had Saturday night. Without a lot of fans around to mob him, he actually seemed like a down to earth guy. The smile he gave Emily as he walked over to the couch was not the one he had given the other girls when he went to the bathroom in the restaurant. This one was warm and fuzzy. He genuinely seemed happy to give her his autograph.
"Sure," he said and took the pen from her. "What's your name?"
"Emily," she swooned, which brought another chuckle from Josh.
He scribbled something on the sheet of paper before handing it back to her.
"Here you go," he said, showing her that friendly smile once again. "Anyone else?"
Ethan declined, but he seemed to be in pain when he did. If he wanted an autograph, this was the perfect time to get it.
Then Josh turned to me. "How about you?" he asked.
I shook my head, but I was unable to stop the giggle that escaped my mouth. He definitely wouldn't be asking if he knew who I was.
"I'm fine," I told him. "But it was an honor to meet you."
I extended my hand for a handshake. The move had him looking at me oddly, but he reached out and took my hand anyway.
When we released the grip, the paper with Sarah's number on it was no longer in my hand.
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"There is one other option," Dad said, providing me with a ray of hope in the gloom that had settled into my heart.
"What is it?" I asked warily. I knew the look that he had on his face. It usually meant I would be doing something that I didn't like doing. Sarah Carerra
Chapter 25 - 5 Songs for a Daughter by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: March 8, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 25 - 5 Songs for a Daughter
Later that evening, after Emily and Ethan had gone home, Dad found me in my room trying to finish the math homework that had been interrupted earlier.
"Megan?" he asked after knocking on my door.
"Yeah," I replied to let him know he could come in. He entered my room and took a seat on my bed while I turned my desk chair to face him.
"I talked to Scott," he said. "The record company has three songs ready for you."
"That's great!" I exclaimed. "Does that mean I can do the concert?"
"I don't know," Dad replied. "Josh said we needed at least five songs. We'd need at least one more."
I felt my heart sink. I hadn't realized how excited I was to do the concert until then. I mean, if I was scared to death to sing in front of a crowd, then why would I even want to do the concert?
But despite that fear, I wanted to be up there on stage. I wanted to see Sarah Carerra become a star. I wanted to do this. It hurt to have it yanked away from me before it even started!
"There is one other option," Dad said, providing me with a ray of hope in the gloom that had settled into my heart.
"What is it?" I asked warily. I knew the look that he had on his face. It usually meant I would be doing something that I didn't like doing.
"We could use one of your songs," he replied. "You've got a few songs that would work perfectly for Sarah."
It was a crazy idea! I wasn't a songwriter. I just dabbled. Lately, I hadn't really had the time to even do that.
"Dad," I whined at him like he knew I would. "I can't use those songs. I'm not a songwriter."
"I don't know about that, honey," he said. His lopsided grin only made me feel more frustrated that he wouldn't listen to me. "You've written some good songs."
"Not good enough for Sarah!" I argued. "I'm not that good."
"Yes, you are," Dad said in a soothing voice, trying to keep me calm. "'Enchanted Forest' and 'Ever After' would both be great songs for Sarah. I'm sure the record company would agree."
"But they're so...so...Disney!" I retorted. Why would I want to sing about something like that?
"Yes they are," my dad surprised me by agreeing. "But 'Disney' appeals to much of your target fan base. I think they'll like them."
I guess he was right. After all, Scott had mentioned that I would probably be after the same market as the Hannah Montana franchise.
But that didn't mean the songs were good enough!
"Look," Dad said, slightly frustrated with me. "Why don't you play both of them for me and let me decide. I am your agent after all."
"I can't do that," I felt just as frustrated with him. "Austin broke the neck on my guitar three weeks ago, remember?"
My dad laughed. It wasn't the reaction I expected, and it somehow managed to break through my frustration and had me chuckling too. I didn't know what I was laughing at, but I couldn't stop.
"That's right," Dad was finally able to say. "But if I remember correctly, the two of you were fighting and you dropped it down the stairs, not Austin."
I grumbled. While he might be technically correct, it was still Austin's fault.
"Okay," he continued. "First thing tomorrow morning we'll get you a new one. Then you're going to play them when we go to the record company to learn about the other songs."
That did not sound like a good idea to me, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to get out of it. Especially if he bought me a new guitar for doing it.
"Okay," I finally agreed. He'd have to see the truth when the record company agreed with me that the songs weren't very good.
At least I didn't have to go to school tomorrow.
Joe's Music Shop did not sound like a very upscale music store. But in reality, it was much larger than I would have expected, and had a large selection of instruments.
Dad led me over to where a number of guitars were hanging on the walls or in display cases. Before we could even get there, we'd caught the eye of a salesman. He may not have known who I was, but the grin that spread on his face made me realize that he thought I was expensive. Dressed as Sarah, with glam and all, I could understand why he would think that.
"Hello," the salesman said as we approached. "My name is Brad, how can I help you today?"
"Hi, Brad," Dad said kindly, but I could hear the caution in his voice. He obviously had the same feeling about the guy that I did. "Sarah needs a new guitar."
"Do you have an idea of what you are looking for?" Brad asked.
"Not exactly," my dad replied. "Sarah's been using a cheap starter guitar, but it finally wore itself down and we wanted to replace it with one of a higher quality."
"Okay," Brad said. "Let me see what we have. Acoustic?"
Dad and I nodded and he started to look around at the guitars on display, and my gaze started to follow his.
Neither my dad nor I were really versed in what made a good guitar. I'd only ever used the one that he had bought me for my birthday the year of the accident. I probably would have continued to use it if Austin hadn't broken it.
One guitar immediately caught my eye. I did not know what made a good guitar, but I definitely knew what I thought made a guitar look good. The guitar itself was completely black, had a teal pick guard, and was rimmed with a lighter wood around the body and some kind of rainbow inlay around the soundhole.
If it sounded anywhere near as good as it looked, it was the guitar for me.
"How about this one?" Brad finally said and pulled a guitar off the wall. Unfortunately, it wasn't the one I had been looking at.
"This is a Taylor..." The rest of his description started going over my head. I knew that Taylor made good guitars, but describing them didn't really help me in any way.
Eventually we got to the point where my dad wanted me to try it. The salesman looked skeptical at letting me actually play the instrument he was trying to sell me, which made me think it was either not a very good instrument (unlikely), or it was quite expensive (much more likely).
Nervously, Brad had me sit down on a chair and very gently handed me the guitar, making sure that I wasn't going to drop it.
The guitar seemed slightly too large to me. It felt like I had to stretch my arms and torso a bit to play it, which immediately made me dislike it somewhat. Once I got a feel for it, however, I tried to decide what to play.
Wondering if I'd regret the decision, I started playing 'Ever After'. Emily had talked me into writing two songs with her about 3 months ago. The result was two songs that spoke of fairy tales and magic. I really liked the songs, but they sounded like they were written by a girl. I might be a girl now, but I wasn't back then.
Playing the song seemed to cement a realization that I was starting to have that Megan had been living my life for a lot longer than the last week and a half. I couldn't imagine Brett writing anything so...well, girly!
I strummed through a verse before I stopped. I knew this guitar wasn't for me. It just didn't feel right. Carefully handing it back to Brad, I looked toward my dad.
"Well?" he asked.
"It's not the right guitar," I told him.
"Are you sure?" Brad asked. He had a slight frown on his face. "It's a really good guitar."
"Oh I don't doubt that," I told him. "But it's too big, and I'm not so sure the most expensive guitar is the one I want to buy."
Brad actually looked guilty when I said that. Obviously he had his best interests in mind, not my own.
"How about that one?" I asked while pointing at the black guitar I had seen earlier. Brad frowned slightly again. It seemed that this guitar cost a lot less.
But he nodded and after replacing the Taylor in its place, he pulled the black guitar off the wall.
"This is a Yamaha CPX700. It's an Acoustic Electric..." Once again I tuned out his description. I just wanted to play it.
"I thought Yamaha made motorcycles," I said, interrupting his description. Both my dad and Brad started laughing at that. Whatever.
"Here," Brad said with another chuckle. He seemed to be in a better mood now that I had apparently made a fool of myself. "Give it a try. I promise it sounds much better than a motorcycle."
The guitar felt right in my hands. It was smaller than both the Taylor and my original guitar. It was really comfortable to hold, and a quick strum indicated it was nice and easy to play.
I started playing 'Ever After' again. The sound coming from the guitar seemed like music to my ears. I guess it literally was, but it sounded really good anyway.
After playing through a verse I started singing. I really did like this song, but I still didn't think that it was good enough for Sarah to sing. The music seemed to flow out of me though. Sarah really had a good voice for the song, and I could see the appeal that the target market would have.
I continued to sing through the verses that Emily and I had written. That was another reason I couldn't use the song, I realized. How would I explain it to Emily? She'd recognize it immediately and wonder why Sarah Carerra was singing our song!
When I finished singing the song and stopped playing, I was surprised to see a group of people had gathered around us and were listening. Immediately I felt myself start to blush again.
"I'll take this one," I told Brad.
An hour later we met Scott in his office at Olympic Records. He seemed really excited about the opportunity to perform a concert so soon. After taking our seats in front of his desk, he got straight to business.
"Like I told you on the phone, Don," Scott started. "We have three songs ready for Sarah. We weren't planning on recording them for a few more weeks, but passing up this opportunity would be a mistake.
"I talked to our Director of Talent this morning. You've met Matt, right?" he asked. I nodded as he sat back in his chair. "He felt that we should do what we can to try and make this concert work. We're trying to find you a couple more songs that you'll have time to practice, but I don't know how successful we can be in such a short amount of time."
"We may be able to help with that," Dad told him. Scott looked intrigued by what he had said. "Sarah is an accomplished songwriter, and she has a couple of songs that might work."
"Oh," Scott said, mildly surprised. "Singer/songwriters are the big rage these days. If you can write as well as you can sing, your marketing potential could go up quite a bit."
"I really don't think they're good enough," I told Scott truthfully. "I was just messing around with a friend."
"Sarah's being modest," Dad explained to Scott. "I've heard the songs, and I think they are quite good."
"Well then," Scott said. "I'll see if I can get Matt and we can have you sing them for us. If they are good, we may have enough for the concert and for your first CD."
"First CD?" I asked. Once again, it seemed awfully early to be this far into a music career.
"Yes," Scott replied. "If you do the concert next Saturday, we would like to have a CD available for purchase there. It will give you more exposure with the fans, and we can start selling them in mass soon after. Six or seven songs is a bit short, but not unheard of."
"Will we need to modify the contract at all?" Dad asked. I'm glad he was here with me. All I could think about was the music and how fast my career seemed to be taking off. He had the ability to look at the business side of things.
"I don't think so," Scott answered. "Everything is already covered. The time frame is slightly more advanced than we thought it would be, but it shouldn't change anything."
"Good," my dad agreed. "What happens now?"
"We have a studio reserved for Sarah for most of the day," Scott explained. "We would like to try and get one or two of the songs recorded. The sooner we get the vocals laid down, the sooner we can start producing the CDs. Besides, rushing them like this could be a good way to learn the songs, since you'll only have a little more than a week to get ready to perform them."
The thought of learning four or five new songs in a week was daunting to me, especially since I still had to cram for my finals at school too.
Scott picked up some papers, looked at them briefly, and handed them to me.
"Here are the two songs we want to work on today," he said. "If you two want to get a bite to eat and look over them, I'll talk to Matt and see when he has time to hear your songs."
"Sounds like a plan," my dad said, and they both stood up. I did the same and grabbed my new guitar case.
"How about we meet in Studio 5 in half an hour?" Scott asked us.
"We'll be there," was Dad's reply.
"Scott?" I asked before he could get out the door.
"Yes, Sarah?" he replied. He looked slightly agitated that I had stopped him, but I asked my question anyway.
"Can I get a copy of the sheet music for 'Intuition'? I'd like to learn how to play it." I raised my guitar case for emphasis.
"Sure!" he said. Any irritation he'd had disappeared with my question. "It's always beneficial when you know your own songs. I'll bring a copy to the studio."
"Thank you," I told him. I knew I had a big grin on my face.
"You're welcome," he said before he was quickly out the door.
Dad and I decided to grab a bite to eat in the cafeteria again. I figured it was close enough to lunch now that this was probably the only chance I was going to get.
Once we had our food, we found an empty table and I started reading over the songs while I ate. They looked really good.
The first one was named 'Open Your Eyes (See Me)'. The message reminded me of Taylor Swift's 'You Belong with Me,' even if the sound was completely different. Like Taylor's song, it was about trying to convince a guy that he should be dating me instead of some other girl.
I must admit that it felt weird to be thinking about singing a song like that. Granted, it was exactly what my fan base would want, but I was still new to this girl thing and had only been on one date. And I still wasn't sure how I felt about that date either.
The second song was called 'Pop Princess'. It was about the glamorous and glitzy life that I was about to embark on. Hollywood parties, spotlights, concerts, and awards shows all got a mention in the song. It was a nice upbeat number with what appeared, at least on paper, to be a catchy tune. I couldn't wait to hear what it sounded like.
But then again, I didn't have to wait. I had my guitar right here.
Quickly finishing the sandwich that I had ordered, I turned my attention to the guitar case. There weren't many others sitting near us. I figured I could play the songs quietly without disturbing anyone.
I pulled the guitar out of its new case and sat it on my lap. Dad was giving me an inquisitive look, but he wasn't trying to stop me.
"I'd like to hear the songs," I explained. "But I think they're good."
Much better than mine, I didn't add.
He smiled and nodded before taking another bite of his sandwich. I turned my attention back to the sheet music and strummed the guitar. It took a few tries to begin to see the song in my head, but eventually the tune started flowing from the guitar.
It really was a catchy tune. I had finally gotten to the point where I could play it pretty well and was about to try singing the song when I was interrupted by my dad.
"We better go," he said. "Scott will probably be waiting for us."
I wasn't happy, but I placed the guitar back in its case and followed my dad out of the cafeteria.
I spent most of the next four hours singing the two songs over and over again. Scott was once again really easy to work with. He'd tell me what he wanted me to do for the next take, and I'd try it, and he'd give me another suggestion.
By the time we were done with 'Pop Princess', I felt that I could actually perform the song on stage. I'd sung it enough times that it had been ingrained in my head. The same thing happened with 'Open Your Eyes' after that.
It felt sort of like cramming for a test. I had to learn the songs quickly. But unlike the test, I couldn't forget what I had learned. Fortunately, after singing them so many times, it didn't seem likely that would happen.
Around 4:30 in the afternoon Matt entered the studio. He looked slightly distracted, and I wondered if he was only humoring my dad's request to use my songs. I was sorry he was going to be disappointed.
Scott was satisfied with what we had accomplished for the two songs, and we were discussing them in the control booth at the time.
"Hi, Matt," Scott greeted him. "We just wrapped up the first two songs. She's a keeper. She's really easy to work with."
Matt smiled at Scott's statement, but still didn't look any happier.
"Hello," was his only reply. He then turned toward me. "I hear you wrote some songs you would like to use?"
"Yeah," I replied. "I don't think they're very good, though."
"Nonsense, Sarah," Dad said. "They are excellent songs."
"Can I hear them?" Matt asked. He still looked agitated. He either didn't think they would be worth it, or he was in a hurry to get somewhere.
"Sure," I replied and got up to retrieve my guitar case from where I had placed it. I sat down on the couch that was in the control room and opened the case. I pulled out my new guitar and got ready to play.
"This is 'Ever After'," I told my audience. "I think it's the better of the two."
I started strumming the guitar and the song filled the room. I started singing when it was time, and looked around the room. Scott and Matt both had a look of concentration on their faces; obviously they were listening intently. But it was Dad's face that caught my eye.
He had a beaming smile reaching nearly from ear to ear. It wasn't often that I saw him looking that pleased. His smile infected my own, and I made every effort I could to perform the song to the best of my ability.
As I continued to sing and play the song, I watched Scott start to nod. I was surprised to understand that he liked the song. Matt just sat impassively and listened. He made no outward sign of whether he liked it, and I knew that he agreed with me that it wasn't good enough for Sarah.
I strummed the last note and looked toward him. His face still hadn't changed.
"Let's hear the other one," he said.
I started in on 'Enchanted Forest'. It was a completely different type of song. While 'Ever After' was an upbeat, modern story, this one was slower and had a lilting melody to it that I always thought reminded me of a forest. The story was more of a fantasy too.
Eventually the song came to an end, and I once again turned my attention to Matt to get his feelings about the songs.
"I like them," he said. "Scott, record them and look into adding the rest of the instruments. We're going to be hard-pressed to get everything ready by next Saturday."
He smiled then. It was the first real smile I'd seen him give to me all day. "You're going to take us all for a wild ride, Sarah. I hope you're up to it."
I felt immensely nervous at his statement. Learning the songs would be tough enough. But Scott had talked to me earlier in the day about the sessions we'd schedule with a choreographer next week and at some point I would need to meet the band that would be backing me up on stage. This whole concert thing had gotten really overwhelming very fast!
Matt frowned at my nervousness, I noticed. It was slight, but I saw it. I think he had hoped I would be a little more ready to step onto the stage than I appeared to be.
"Don't worry," he said in reassurance. "You'll do fine. You're an exceptional young lady."
"Thank you," I told him. "I hope you're right."
"I am," he said with more confidence than I think he felt. "I've got a meeting to get to. I'll see you guys later."
With that, he rushed out of the studio. I was left amazed that he thought Sarah should use the songs! I didn't think I was that good at writing them, but they seemed to like them. Dad was still beaming from ear to ear. I was sure I'd hear more about it from him later.
"Come on, Sarah," Scott said. "Plug that new guitar of yours in, and we'll get these songs recorded."
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"You're so beautiful," he replied. "They say you used to be a boy, but I find that insane. There's no way that could be true."
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 26 - What's Wrong With Me, Doctor? by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: March 15, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 26 - What's Wrong With Me, Doctor?
I had just sat down to eat dinner with my family when my phone started to ring. I got up from my seat and quickly walked over to the table where I had set my purse. Digging inside I finally found my phone and looked at the caller ID.
Josh was calling!
I gasped, and everyone at the table turned toward me.
"Everything alright, honey?" Mom asked.
"It's...it's Josh Holliday!" I replied nervously.
"How did he get your number?" Dad asked. I really didn't want to answer that question. I was certain he would be upset that I was giving my number to boys. Ever since the date I had with Josh last Saturday he'd been very protective of me. I was beginning to realize that Dad was treating me as his little girl, not the boy I had been two weeks earlier.
"I don't know," I lied. The phone stopped ringing and I panicked again! I hadn't answered Josh Holliday's call! What would he think about me now?
"Well," Dad said, noticing the silence. "You can call him back after dinner. Right now, eat."
With a lot of excitement at the prospect of talking to Josh later, which surprised me, quite frankly, I sat down to finish dinner.
I nearly hung up after the second ring. I was so nervous that I was almost frantic. I still couldn't believe that I was returning Josh's call! This girl thing was only two weeks old, yet I was falling into it so easily that it scared me.
I wasn't sure why I was so nervous. I'd spent the whole night with him last Saturday, but things had changed since then. Last week I was still trying to figure out if I was Megan or Brett. This week I knew for certain.
But that didn't mean I completely understood what I was going through. I still had no idea what the future would hold for me.
My thoughts were interrupted by a click and a slightly muffled, "Hello?"
"Josh?" I asked the unknown voice. It sounded like him, but there was a lot of loud noise on the other end, possibly music.
"Hello?" He said again. "Who's this?"
"It's Sarah," I said louder.
"Sarah?" he asked for clarification. Before I could respond he continued. "Hold on, let me get somewhere quieter."
I waited patiently for a few moments as the noise started to die down before suddenly cutting off completely.
"Sarah?" Josh asked again. "Are you still there?"
"Yeah," I replied. It was definitely much easier to hear him now.
"Sorry about that," he said. "A friend took me out to this new club, and it's really loud in there. What can I do for you?"
"I saw you called earlier, and I thought I'd return the call," I explained. "I think I was eating dinner at the time."
"Oh, yeah," he remembered. "I got your number from Don's daughter, Maren, I think."
"Megan," I corrected almost immediately and without thought. I didn't know why, but it seemed important that Josh knew my real name, even if he didn't know it was mine.
"Yeah, Megan. Anyway, I hope it was okay that she gave it to me."
"It is," I told him. "I was hoping she could get it to you, because I didn't have your number either."
He thought about that for a second. Had I really just told him that I had wanted his number? I hoped he didn't read too much into something I wasn't quite sure of myself yet.
"Anyway," he said, ignoring my fears if he had even realized them. "I just wanted to congratulate you on your first concert. I talked to Don this afternoon and he said you would be able to do it."
"Yeah," I said excitedly. "I actually have six songs now. It's already been a whirlwind trying to learn them. I just hope that I'll be ready by the time the concert starts."
"You're an amazing girl, Sarah," he told me. "I'm sure you'll be more than ready."
He really didn't know anything about me, much like I didn't really know anything about him. I was pretty sure his statement was based more on his feelings for me than for any real information he had about who I really was. But I took the compliment for what it was.
"Thank you, Josh," I told him. Now that I was actually talking to Josh Holliday, I wasn't really sure what to talk about.
"How's the weather there?" he asked me after a slight silence between the two of us. I was saddened to realize he was asking me about the weather. He must have been almost as nervous as I was.
"It's, uh, pretty much the same as yours, I guess," I told him. "I do live here in the LA area, you know."
Dad and I had come up with a back story before we'd ever signed a contract. I'd even told it to Daren Stockard that first day Sarah made an appearance. I couldn't change it now.
"Oh," he said somewhat surprised, like I knew he would. "I figured you lived somewhere else when you weren't at Don's the other night. Maren..."
"Megan," I corrected again.
He continued, using the correct name this time. "Megan said she didn't know where you lived but only stayed at her house when you were in town."
"I don't think she knows where I live," I explained. It was a true statement. We hadn't actually discussed where Sarah's make-believe home was. I hoped he didn't ask. "I only go over there to get dressed up. The stage outfits are a little more...glittery than what I normally wear. It helps keep the neighbors from being too nosy."
He laughed at my explanation, but he at least seemed to buy it. He was getting closer to the secret than I would like him to.
"So where do you live?" he asked. Of course he would ask. Why did he have to ask!?
"Oh, I live in..." Think, think, where would Sarah live?
"Malibu!" I exclaimed, probably more excitedly than I should have. Granted, Malibu wasn't exactly in Los Angeles, but it was close enough. I'd always thought Malibu would be a perfect place to live. Now I could. Well, sort of.
"Cool," Josh said. "I always liked Malibu."
Before he could say anything else, I heard someone else start talking to him. He seemed to argue with the other person before speaking with me again.
"Look, Sarah," he said. He seemed disappointed now. "It's my friend's birthday tonight and he's upset that I'm spending all my time talking to you instead of him. Can I call you tomorrow?"
"Um," I was slightly relieved that our conversation was ending, but I was also slightly disappointed too. I was starting to like Josh more than I thought I was ready to. "I'm not sure, between school and the studio, I won't have much time. I'm supposed to be recording the last three songs over the next two days."
"You still go to a public school?" he asked incredulously. I remembered then that being able to go to school was one of the reasons we created Sarah Carerra. I really needed to watch what I was saying or I was going to blow my secret!
"My parents figured I'd be able to finish this year," I quickly explained. "I'm not exactly famous yet."
He chuckled, which I hoped meant that he had bought my lie again. "Alright, how about Sunday then?"
"Sure," my mouth responded before I had even thought about it. I REALLY needed to think about what I said when talking to him.
"Great!" He said. "I'll talk to you then."
"Ok, bye, Josh," I said wistfully.
"Bye, Sarah," he said before I heard the click indicating the end of the call.
I sighed. My life was getting even more complicated!
The next morning my mom and I were in the waiting room of one Doctor Holbrook.
I felt uncomfortable sitting there. There were a couple of other kids in the waiting room waiting to see one of the two doctors that the L.A. Gender Clinic employed. Unlike me, they didn't seem to pass quite so well. One of them was wearing a dress. He, or she I guess, looked slightly too large to be a girl. Her face was made up quite expertly and she looked pretty good, despite the giveaways that her size displayed. The other was a scrawny little boy. Dressed in tight jeans and a tight shirt, it was hard to guess which way he was transitioning. I assumed female-to-male only because he had short, cropped hair and didn't wear any makeup. But he could have been a young male to female who hadn't started transitioning too.
Both of them kept staring at me. I knew that I looked completely female. It was two weeks to the day since I had sung at Johnny's party, and I had learned a lot since then that helped me to see just how beautiful I was.
"Are you a boy or a girl?" the small boy finally asked. The large girl leaned forward to hear the answer too.
"I'm a girl," I replied. I really didn't want to have this conversation with them.
"Did you start that way?" the girl asked.
"No," I replied truthfully. This was one of the few places I felt I could truly answer that question.
"Wow," the small boy said. "I hope I can look as good as you someday."
I guess that answered my question about his transition. I was about to answer him and tell him that he probably could with his small size and young age, but was interrupted by a nurse before I could.
"Megan Campbell?" she said.
I stood up and grabbed my purse before smiling and giving the two other kids a small wave and joining my mom near the hallway the nurse was standing in front of.
"Right this way," she said. She then led us down the hallway and into an exam room. She had me sit on the examination table and proceeded to take my blood pressure before telling us that the doctor would be with us shortly.
I was nervous. What if something else was wrong with me? Was there something to be concerned about?
"It'll be okay, honey," my mom said, interrupting the negative thoughts that were starting to crowd my head.
"I hope so," was all I could say.
We sat in silence for a few minutes before there was a knock on the door and an older woman entered. She looked a lot like my Gran, and she immediately seemed to put me at ease.
"Hello..." She consulted her chart. "Megan. How are you today?"
"Good, Doctor," I replied nervously.
She smiled at me. "Don't worry, we'll get you on your way to becoming a young man quickly."
I was immediately filled with horror! That wasn't why I was here!
The doctor looked at my face, and then she looked at her chart again. She then realized her mistake, and said, "Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry!"
I was speechless! I didn't know what to tell her. She looked upset now too.
"I'm sorry, Megan," she said again. "Your name is listed here as Megan. I don't usually see people for the first time who have already changed their names. That, combined with how natural you look as a girl made me assume that you wanted to go the other way."
"I..." I still didn't know what to say. I was completely surprised at the horror that I felt at the suggestion of going back to being Brett. It was less than a week ago that I was struggling with this decision. Now it seemed so certain that the implication I might be going the other way was a horrible thought.
"It's okay," I was finally able to tell her. "I just...the thought upset me more than I thought it would."
"I understand," she said. "And I truly am sorry. How long have you been transitioning?"
I wasn't quite sure if she meant the time since I decided to live full-time, or if she meant the six years since the accident. I turned to Mom for confirmation.
"About two weeks now," Mom told the doctor. It was our turn to see the shock on the doctor's face this time.
"Wow," she finally said. "And you've already changed your name?"
"There are other concerns in her life," Mom replied. "The name change was necessary, but the feelings are real."
"What kind of concerns?" Dr. Holbrook asked warily.
"Nothing illegal," my mom said immediately. She was apparently on the same wavelength as the doctor because I didn't even realize that was what the doctor was implying. "Just privacy concerns."
The doctor looked down at her chart again. "I see that you were referred by Dr. Casper. How long have you been seeing her?"
Dr. Casper was Mary. I had been calling her Mary since the first session I'd had with her. It was one of the first things she had asked me to do. I didn't really know her as Dr. Casper.
"Six years," I told Dr. Holbrook.
"Six years!" she repeated. She seemed impressed. "What made you decide to transition now?"
That was not an easy answer. Instead of trying to make it sound like one we told her about the accident and everything that had transpired until now, leaving out the Sarah Carerra part, of course. She'd have to sign a non-disclosure agreement before we told her about that.
She continued to ask a number of other questions before eventually discussing how we wanted to proceed.
"So you're worried about there being something else other than the accident involved in your development?" she asked.
"Yeah," I told her. "My cousin seemed to think that it wasn't normal."
"I'll be honest with you," Dr. Holbrook said. "She might be right. This type of development is unusual in a male of your age who has been through what you have. But it also isn't unheard of. This may be normal, or there may be something else involved."
"What do we do?" Mom asked her.
"I'd like to start with some tests," the doctor said. "I think we should start by ruling out any intersex conditions. If we can do that, then the chances of there being something involved will be small. We can take some blood and then go from there."
"Okay," I said. "When will you know?"
"We will have the results of most of the tests later this evening," she explained. "But one of them we will need to send out to another lab. It could take up to a week to get that one back. I think if we made an appointment for next Friday, we'll know what's going on inside your body. Sound okay to you?"
I nodded, and my mom also agreed.
"Great," Dr. Holbrook said while scribbling on a notepad. She then tore off the piece of paper and handed it to me. "Take this down the hall to the lab. They'll take the blood sample and then you can make an appointment for next Friday at the front desk."
"Thank you, doctor," my mom and I said.
"You're welcome, dear," she replied. "We'll get this all sorted out soon."
She left us with a smile.
I was rubbing my arm when Mom dropped me off at school. As if school wasn't bad enough, I was now slightly lightheaded from having my blood taken. I hated needles, but I think the queasiness was partly because they took four vials of blood. Even if that was a small percentage overall, it certainly took an emotional toll watching it pour out of my arm and into the vials!
I'd missed first period, and after getting an excuse note from the front office I started walking to my locker to get my books for second and third period. I turned a corner and found myself face to face with Jared Lumbart. Jared was one of the offensive linesmen for the football team. He was big, and not the brightest of the bunch. He grinned when he saw me.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the little freak," he said. His grin turned evil. I unconsciously took a step backward. "Where you going?"
I turned to run, but he was too fast for me. He grabbed the loop on the back of my backpack and yanked, pulling me off my feet. He let go once I was on my way down and I landed hard on my pack, something poking me in the back from inside. Before I could respond I felt a kick connect with my thigh. Then I could hear the screaming. It was loud and sounded close.
It was me.
That kick had hurt! I turned toward him and saw another kick heading my way. I cringed and shut my eyes, not able to move fast enough to avoid it.
It never came.
Instead I heard another yell, this one deeper and masculine. It was followed shortly by an 'oof' and then a large thump.
Opening my eyes slightly I saw Jared lying on the floor, clutching his side. David Cartwright, the boy I had met outside the principal's office on Monday, was standing over him, glaring at him.
"You're dead, Cartwright," Jared yelled at him.
"You just beat up a girl!" David yelled right back. "Didn't your mother teach you better manners than that!?"
"This freak is not a girl!" Jared screamed. A few of the classroom doors were now opening and a number of teachers came rushing out.
"What's going on here?" Coach Madsen nearly yelled his question as he ran up to us. He was the first teacher to reach us, and unfortunately he was also the football coach. I figured he wasn't going to side with me on this one.
"This freak attacked me!" Jared yelled, pointing at me. "I was only defending myself."
Coach Madsen's face hardened at Jared's words. It seemed likely to me that he would trust his own player, but it looked like he didn't believe Jared. Before he had a chance to respond, David was screaming back at Jared.
"That's a lie!" David yelled. "I saw the whole thing. She turned the corner, saw you, and started to run. You yanked her back, threw her to the ground and kicked her!"
"Is this true?" The coach asked Jared. Jared didn't need to answer; his coach could see it in his face. "I warned all of you, Jared. I'm afraid we need to go to the principal's office."
"But he hit me!" Jared yelled, this time pointing at David.
"And it sounds like you deserved it!" Coach Madsen yelled back at him. "What were you thinking? You don't treat girls like that, Mr. Lumbart."
"But he..." Jared started, looking at me again.
"She!" Coach Madsen interrupted. After the way the football team had treated me, I wasn't expecting him to be on my side.
It looked like Jared wanted to say more, but he wisely shut his mouth. Coach Madsen then turned to me.
"Are you okay?" he asked. He reached out his hand to help me up.
"Yeah," I said, taking his hand and allowing him to pull me up. I yelped when I tried to put weight on my left leg. With a grimace, I said, "I'm fine."
He didn't believe me.
"Mr. Cartwright, please escort Megan to the nurse's office," he said. "Jared, come with me."
It looked like Jared was going to protest, but instead he got up and followed the football coach toward the principal's office. David reached down and picked up my backpack and slung it over his shoulder.
"Can you walk?" David asked me, ignoring the stares of the other students and teachers crowded around us.
"Yeah," I told him, but winced when I tried to take a step to prove it. My thigh really hurt. The only upside was that I didn't think anything was broken.
"Come on," he said and pointed in the direction of the nurse's office.
I took another step, and the pain was a bit less pronounced. I hoped it was one of those 'walk it off' injuries. I was afraid that David was going to try to help me walk, but he seemed happy enough to walk next to me instead.
I looked over at him. He was grinning at me, much like he had on Monday. He must have learned the truth about me now, but he was staring at me in a way that made me feel uncomfortable.
"You're an enigma, you know," he finally said after we had walked about half the distance in silence.
"Why?" I asked.
"You're so beautiful," he replied. "They say you used to be a boy, but I find that insane. There's no way that could be true."
I was shocked! Even though he seemed to know the truth about me, he didn't believe it. That was both refreshing and scary at the same time. I didn't know how to respond, and we ended up walking the rest of the way in silence.
He seemed reluctant to leave me with the nurse, but eventually he spoke again.
"I'll see you around, Megan," he said. He grinned at me again before walking away.
I sincerely hoped I didn't ever see him again, even if he was my hero of the day. I turned and opened the door to the nurse's office. Mrs. Pratchett, the little old lady who had acted as the school's nurse for many years, looked up at my entrance. She looked somewhat surprised when she recognized me, but the shock left her face quickly and was replaced with concern. I'm sure she'd seen the wince that had crossed my face at her look and assumed that it was from physical pain. It wasn't.
"What can I do for you, dear?" she asked me. She stood up from her desk and approached me.
"Um," I started. I was at the nurse's office like Coach Madsen wanted, but I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to do. I mean, my leg was starting to feel better now. "I'm not sure, I was told to come to your office, but I think I'm probably okay. I'll just go."
"No, no," she said while opening the door further. "Please come in and have a seat."
She pointed at a chair along one wall and I shrugged and walked over to it and sat down. If nothing else, it would keep me out of class longer.
"Why were you sent here?" she asked. The concern was evident in her eyes once again.
"Well," I started. "I kind of got kicked in the hall. It's probably just a bruise, I'll be fine."
"Don't be so modest, Megan," I heard from the doorway. I hadn't heard her approach, but Ms. Carson, my first period teacher, was standing there. She turned toward Mrs. Pratchett before speaking. "According to one of the other students, she was knocked to the ground and then kicked in the left thigh pretty hard."
"In or out then, Dorothy," Mrs. Pratchett said. "We better take a look and we don't need the whole school looking in."
I groaned. The last thing I wanted to do is take off my pants in front of women I hardly knew! But I was sure old Mrs. Pratchett wouldn't let me leave until she was sure I wasn't injured. I heard the bell ring indicating the end of second period, which seemed to be the deciding factor for Ms. Carson. She stepped into the office and closed the door.
"Off with your pants," Mrs. Pratchett said in a matter-of-fact manner. She turned and locked the door to guarantee us some privacy.
"Um," I said, struggling to find a way out of this situation. When I couldn't think of anything I decided the easiest way to get through this would be to comply. "Do I need to take them off or can I just pull them down far enough to see?"
Mrs. Pratchett sighed like I was being inconsiderate of her time. "Pull them down then. Just let me take a look and make sure you're okay, and you can get back to class."
I was embarrassed to do so, but I unlatched the belt to the jeans I was wearing, unbuttoned the button, and then slid them down my legs far enough to see where I had been kicked.
There was an intake of breath at my actions. I could certainly see why. The skin on my thigh was already starting to darken and the unmistakable hue of a large bruise was settling in. I wouldn't be wearing any short skirts for the foreseeable future.
But when I looked up at the two ladies in the room, I noticed that their attention was not directed on the bruise, per se. They were both looking slightly to the left with astonished looks on their faces. Glancing back down I realized they were staring at my panties. Sure, they were light pink with a bit of lace around the waistband and the legs, but they weren't anything out of the ordinary.
"What?" I finally had to ask. I still wasn't even sure that they had seen the bruise they were so adamant about checking on.
"Nothing," Ms. Carson said incredulously. "It's just...well, I thought you were a boy."
I sighed again. Like every other pair of panties I'd worn since the day of the accident, there was nothing to be seen that indicated I was not the girl I appeared to be. The doctors had been able to save some of what defined my old sex, but it was almost a redundant effort. There simply wasn't enough left to do much but break the image when I was naked.
"Well," Ms. Carson finally continued after Mrs. Pratchett had regained her composure and started looking at the bruise. "You certainly fooled everyone into thinking that you were a boy."
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I needed Emily and Ethan. I wouldn't be able to do this without them. In fact, I didn't want to do this without them! If Em and Ethan didn't learn my secret soon, Sarah Carerra's career would be over before it ever truly began.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 27 - There's Something about Seeing Mary by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: March 22, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 27 - There's Something about Seeing Mary
"Did you hear what happened to Jared Lumbart?" Ethan asked while we were walking home.
"What happened?" Emily asked back. It was obvious that she hadn't heard the story yet. I hadn't exactly been willing to repeat it to them anytime throughout the day either.
"According to Coach Madsen he got suspended under the new tolerance rules," Ethan continued his explanation. "Apparently he kicked a girl pretty hard. I heard she was limping afterward."
I winced and rubbed my thigh. The pain had finally diminished sometime in the afternoon, but every once in a while it would remind me by shooting a pain through my leg when I took a step. It was only a bruise, thank goodness. The last thing I needed was to have a major injury the week before my first concert.
I didn't think that either of them had seen me wince, but Emily gasped and looked at me in horror.
"Was it you?" she asked. I sighed, which was enough of an answer for her. "Oh my gosh! What happened?"
I once again had to relive the horror of the morning's events as I related them to my best friends. They were understandably shaken that someone would attack me like Jared had, and I was glad that they were there to comfort me. I'd thought it would be better not to say anything to them, but that proved to be a mistake on my part. They'd do anything for me, and I'd do anything for the two of them.
Except tell them my secret, apparently.
When the discussion turned to what we were going to do that evening, I once again had to disappoint them. The studio had every free moment of my time planned through the night of the concert. Scott claimed that there was so much to do in so little time that I had to cram for the concert nearly as much as I would be cramming for my finals over the weekend.
"Every night?" Emily asked me, not believing that I would be that busy. She was starting to look sad again, and it was tearing at my heart. I didn't know how much longer I could keep this secret from them. I had a concert next week, and I had no one to share the experience with!
"I'm afraid so," I replied. "I'm going to be recording songs this week!"
I was hoping that they would share in my enthusiasm a bit, but neither of them seemed very excited.
"That's great," Emily said in a lackluster tone. "I'm very happy for you."
We walked the rest of the way home in silence. Both of my friends managed to say quick goodbyes, but I don't think they were happy with me.
I certainly wasn't happy with myself.
"I'm going to tell my friends, Daddy," I told him as he drove us to the studio for whatever cramming they wanted me to do that night.
"Nooo!" he yelled back immediately. I hadn't expected him to yell, and it scared me! He saw my reaction and seemed to calm himself down a bit before continuing. "Look, you can't tell them yet, okay. Please, for me."
"But why?!" I whined. I didn't want to keep this a secret from them anymore! The three of us had been best friends since kindergarten. I'd known Emily even longer. We told each other everything. Now I was hiding one of the biggest pieces of my life from them. It was tearing us apart, and it was tearing me up inside!
"Look, Princess," he said, trying to calm me down. "You'll just have to trust me a little while longer. It's for your own good."
"No, Dad!" I said forcefully. "Trust can only go so far! They mean too much to me! Keeping this a secret is going to tear our friendship apart! I can't do that without a good reason!"
My dad tightened his lips into a grimace and I saw his grip on the steering wheel tighten too. Whatever reason he had, he seemed to believe in it. We drove in silence for another five minutes before he finally found the words he was looking for.
"Give me a week," he said. "After the concert, we can discuss letting them in on the secret. But please, give me a week."
"Not without a good reason!" I shot back immediately. I'm sure I sounded snippy, but he had it coming. He was still asking me to trust him, and quite frankly I no longer did when it came to keeping the secret from my friends. He'd given me no good reason to keep it from them, and now it was hurting our friendship. My friends were going to win in this argument if "trust me" was the entire reason my dad would give me. Besides, I still felt angry that Aunt Judy knew and my two best friends didn't!
"Look," Dad said before pausing to think about how he would explain himself. He had realized that he wasn't going to win this argument and now he was frustrated. I didn't care. He was putting whatever his own personal reasons were for keeping this a secret over my friendship. I needed Emily and Ethan. I wouldn't be able to do this without them. In fact, I didn't want to do this without them! If Em and Ethan didn't learn my secret soon, Sarah Carerra's career would be over before it ever truly began.
"Your career is riding on this secret," he continued. "I understand why Mary wants you to have a normal life as a girl. I agree with her. But living this double life is complicated, and I have to know that you can keep it a secret. If you tell every single one of your friends about it, the secret will eventually get out and you won't be able to have that normal life anymore. This is for your own good!"
I sat there in complete shock at his words! Had I heard him correctly? Did he really mean what I thought he had just said?
"Are you telling me," I yelled at him. I could no longer hold back my anger! "That the only reason I can't tell my two best friends about Sarah Carerra is because you want to know that I can keep the secret?! Are you seriously saying that?!"
He sighed, but nodded. I think he realized that he had just crossed a line with me. I was livid! That was NOT a good reason to keep the secret from them! I definitely would NOT be keeping it from them any longer! As soon as we got home from the studio, my friends were learning the truth about Sarah Carerra!
Dad's cell phone started to ring. He even started to reach for it. But upon seeing my glare, he withdrew his hand. We weren't stopping this discussion until it was over. One of his clients could be having a mental breakdown for all I cared. The conversation was not being interrupted!
"I know you're mad, Megan," he said. "But as your agent, this is something I need to know. Give me a week. You can tell them after the concert, but give me until then to prove that you can keep this a secret. That's all I'm asking."
"As my agent?" I asked incredulously. "What about as my father? Shouldn't you be my father first? Emily and Ethan are more important to me than Sarah Carerra, Dad! My father should know that! For heaven's sake, there wouldn't even BE a Sarah Carerra if it wasn't for them! They deserve the right to know about her!"
"I know, and I'm sorry," he said. He looked chastised now. At least, he looked like I had hurt him with my accusation that he was being my agent before he was being my father. But he needed to hear it. "Can you give me a week? That's all I'm asking for."
I sighed. He was asking for a lot. A week might be enough to rip our friendship apart completely. Unless...
"On one condition," I told him. He frowned, but let me continue. "I get to tell them that they can be a part of my music career after next Saturday. Until then, I won't say anything about Sarah. I won't say anything about what I'm doing this week. I won't even tell them about the concert. They'd just be upset that they couldn't go anyway. But I get to tell them that they get to be a part of it soon."
He sighed again. I don't think he wanted this to be a negotiation, but he wasn't going to get everything he wanted without me getting something in return. After a nod of his head, he finally spoke. "Okay, but if they learn about Sarah before we get back from the concert, you'll be looking for a new agent and a new manager."
I didn't think he meant it, but I wasn't going to put it to the test. I'd uphold my end of the agreement. As long as Emily and Ethan knew that the end of the secrecy was in sight, I felt that our friendship would be okay. That was all I was asking for.
Dad's phone rang again, and this time I nodded to let him know that he could answer it. I might not be happy about the outcome, but at least I was satisfied.
From what I could gather listening to Dad, the phone call seemed to be from Scott. It also seemed to be about bad news. I was worried when my dad hung up the phone and then made a U-turn and headed back toward home instead of toward the studio.
"Everything okay?" I finally asked. I couldn't take the pressure of not knowing any longer.
"Yes and no," Dad replied. "That was Scott. It appears that we won't be able to have the CD ready before your concert next Saturday. The company that produces the CDs and packaging needs more lead time than a week to start producing everything."
"What does that mean?" I asked him. That wasn't exactly good news, but it didn't explain why we were turning around.
"Nothing in the long run," Dad explained. "But it does mean that you won't be recording anything new tonight. Scott said that since we now have the time he would like to bring in a real producer for the album. He may be an experienced sound technician, but a professional producer would be better for the album. He said he has someone lined up and we can meet him at tomorrow's session. You get the night off tonight."
"Cool!" I exclaimed. "That means I have time to save my friendship."
I saw my dad wince, which was exactly what I was trying to accomplish. He needed to remember that being my father was more important than being my agent or my manager.
"I guess I better get your mom a ticket to Salt Lake too, then," he said.
"You weren't even going to let Mom come to my first concert?!" I screamed at him. I even hit him on the arm as hard as I could. It was probably a good thing we were stopped at a stoplight at the time. I didn't think that I could get any angrier at him than I had already been! I couldn't believe that he would even attempt to keep my mom away from something as big as my first concert!
The rest of the trip home was in complete silence. I was fuming in the passenger seat, and Dad seemed to be wilting next to me. I'd never been this mad at him before.
I was even more disappointed when we got home and I wasn't able to contact either Emily or Ethan. They'd apparently gone out somewhere, but neither of them would answer their phones. I sent Emily a text message to call me when she had a chance, but I never heard from her that evening. I hoped it wasn't too late to save our friendship.
I fell asleep after spending the rest of the evening studying for my finals.
The following morning found me waiting in Mary's office with my mom.
Eventually the girl whom she was seeing ahead of us emerged from her office and Mary followed behind. Once she was out the door, Mary turned to us.
"Megan," she said with a large smile on her face. "It's so nice to see you. You look particularly good this morning, I must say."
I'd only ever been to one other appointment with Mary in my life dressed as Megan. That was a couple of years ago. She wanted to see what I looked like. Back then, I didn't want to be Megan and I only did it to appease her. Today, however, I wanted to make a good impression. Since I had decided this past week that I truly wanted to live my life as Megan, I felt it was only appropriate that Mary meet her for real.
To help show her how serious I was in my decision, I wore the sundress that I had worn to Emily's house last Sunday. It was about the most feminine one I owned, and I was more than willing to show it off.
"Good morning, Mary," I replied with a smile.
"If you're ready, you can come on back," she said with a similar smile. I don't know what I would do without Mary. She's been a big help over the last six years.
"Okay," I said and stood up to follow her into her office. Once inside I took a seat on the sofa she always had me sit on and waited for her to take a seat in her chair.
"I wasn't sure whom I would be seeing this morning," Mary started the conversation. "Brett or Megan."
I smiled at her probe for information. "I don't think you'll see Brett any more, honestly. I've decided that I want to live the rest of my life as Megan."
She looked surprised at my revelation, for once. She quickly collected herself and continued. "I must say, I didn't think it would happen that quickly."
"But you did think it would happen," I probed for information myself. Her smile showed that I knew her too well after all these years.
"Yes, I did," she replied. "I don't know if you are aware of this, but you've been quite feminine since the first time that I met you. I wasn't going to try and steer you in either direction, but I had my suspicions about where you would end up."
"I've heard that a lot lately," I told her. "It seems like everyone knew that I was a girl before I ever realized it."
"Can I ask?" she asked. "I mean, what made you decide that Megan was who you really are?"
I tried to figure out where I should begin. Obviously, I had made the realization while talking to my mom a week ago, after my date with Josh. Then there was Josh, too. He, and the date, were the catalyst that led to Mom and me talking. Without the date, I might not have come to the realization that I wanted to stay as Megan quite so soon.
But Mary didn't even know about Sarah Carerra. We'd discussed the possibility of Sarah at our last session, but she didn't know any of the details. All of that had come after I got home and before I met with Scott. I decided to start there.
"It started with singing," I told her. She nodded at me. Apparently that was another topic she wanted to discuss. "We decided to do the Hannah thing we talked about. It's been a very interesting two weeks."
"Tell me about your music career then," Mary said, realizing that it played a role in my self-discovery.
"I'm Sarah Carerra," I told her bluntly. She had to know the secret anyway if she was going to do her job as my therapist. Besides, she was the one person Dad had given me permission to talk to about this. Apparently he knew better than to keep it from my therapist than he did to keep it from my friends.
"Oh," she said. Then she thought about what I had said for a minute. "Ohhhh!"
I'd wondered if she'd heard the name yet, and her reaction answered it for me. Her look of amazement was quickly replaced with the professional, caring look that she usually maintained.
"You've heard of her then?" I asked Mary. I really wanted to hear her thoughts on Sarah before I continued.
"I have," Mary replied with a short laugh. "My daughter is one of your biggest fans already. She has two of your posters in her room and keeps listening to your song over and over."
"There are posters?" I asked. Mary chuckled at the confused look on my face. I didn't know that there were posters of me already on sale.
"I must say, Megan," Mary said. "It looks like you will have a successful music career. Is this why you want to stay a girl?"
"No," I replied. I stopped to catch my bearings. Posters? I'd have to ask Dad about them. What else is going on that I wasn't aware of?
"Sarah has become a part of my life that I really enjoy," I continued my explanation. "But it isn't where I found the happiness that being female means to me."
"So Josh Holliday isn't a deciding factor then?" Mary asked with a sly grin. She knew more about me than I thought she would. I could feel myself blushing again.
"No," I was finally able to answer her. "How do you know about that?"
"I watched the Tween Awards with my girls last Saturday," she said. "I must admit, you looked really good on the red carpet. And that kiss. What did that mean to you?"
"I honestly don't know," I told her with another blush. "The kiss was unexpected. I mean, it surprised me as much as it did my dad. And believe me, he was quite upset about what happened when I made it home that night."
Mary laughed at my description of the night's events. One thing I've always enjoyed about coming to see Mary is how friendly she is. She often seems more like a friend whom I can talk to about anything instead of my therapist. I really felt that I could open up to her.
"But it was what happened later that night that led to me realizing that Megan is who I really am," I continued. "Mom and I talked a lot that night. She helped me work through my feelings about the night's events, and even about how I felt about being a girl. It was during that discussion that I finally realized the truth."
"And what did you discover?" Mary asked. She was always so good at asking the perfect question during our sessions.
"My mom helped me realize that I had already made the decision," I told her. "I just didn't know it yet. I mean, I've been living as a girl for a while now, apparently. Everyone in my life has said I've been really girlish the last few years. I never saw it, but apparently they did."
"You can't let others make this decision for you," Mary cautioned.
"I know, and I'm not," I replied. "But they got me thinking about it. I am happier this way. Emily and Ethan said that I got really depressed when I went back to being Brett. I'd never seen it before until Monday morning. I was so depressed before school that I didn't even want to go. And Brett didn't go back to school. Megan went to school all week. And I'm glad she did. Being Megan makes me happy. It makes me feel complete in ways that I didn't even know I was lacking before."
We sat in silence for a moment while Mary took that in. Finally she was ready to continue. "How were you accepted at school?"
"Pretty well, for the most part," I told her. "The first week, most people thought that I was already a girl. Mom had gotten my ears pierced the first Saturday, and I got my hair done the following Monday. Most of my fellow classmates thought I was a tomboy finally taking an interest in being a girl."
"They just accepted you?" Mary asked. She didn't seem to believe that.
"At first," I replied. "There might have been some who didn't, but I never knew. Last Friday the principal got really mad at me for presenting as a girl, even though I wasn't doing anything differently. It was only my hair and the earrings. He threatened to suspend me."
"He can't do that," Mary said bitterly. She'd apparently been down this road before. "In the state of California it is illegal to do that because of gender presentation. He would get in a lot of trouble if he does suspend you."
"He won't," I told her. "At least, I doubt he will. When I showed up at school Monday, I guess he was ready to suspend me. He called my mom, and she changed his mind. He talked to me that afternoon, and it was almost like he had completely changed his mind. I don't think he likes what I'm doing, but he doesn't seem to be doing anything to stop it anymore."
"Anymore?" Mary asked for clarification. I hadn't even realized I'd left that opening.
"Friday afternoon he made sure that all of the teachers called me Mister Brett Campbell during roll call," I told her. "He stopped it on Monday after talking to my mom, but the damage was done. When I showed up dressed in girl's clothes on Tuesday, some of the kids were unhappy with me."
"Did they hurt you?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied. "It wasn't anything really bad, but they kept calling me names and I was tripped a few times. Most of the kids were okay with me being Megan. It was mostly the cheerleaders, football players, and their crowd. There were a couple of others, but it was a relatively small number."
"What else?" she asked. I guess she could see something in my face, because I wasn't sure if I should mention yesterday at all. I knew that she would get it out of me eventually, but it still stung to think about."
"I got beat up yesterday," I told her. "Not bad, really. I was knocked down by one of the football players and then he kicked me in the thigh. I've got a pretty nasty bruise."
I lifted the skirt of the sundress up to show her the black and blue region of my left thigh. I heard a large intake of breath from her, but she didn't react in any other way.
"He was suspended for it, though," I told Mary. "The principal issued some new rules on Wednesday to help prevent abuse because of tolerance issues. This was the only thing that's happened since then. He wasn't the brightest of the football players either. His coach was really mad when he found us."
"Are you worried about it happening again?" Mary asked.
"Not really," I told her truthfully. "At least not until after finals on Tuesday. The biggest punishment from the tolerance rules was being suspended without the ability to take the finals. Someone may try something after they are over, but I'm not too worried."
"Why?"
"Well," I replied. "Wednesday is yearbook day. It's basically a do nothing day. I've also got an appointment that afternoon as Sarah, so I'll only be there in the morning. Thursday is only a half day. We mostly get a refund on textbooks we turn in and such. Once you've turned everything in, they usually let you go anyway. I've got another appointment that day as Sarah, and my mom may be turning in my books for me. So no, I'm not too worried because there isn't really much time for something to happen."
"That's a lot of Sarah time," Mary pointed out. "Are you sure that she isn't taking up too much of your time?"
Oh, that's right, she probably didn't know about the concert.
"No, I don't think so. I will be spending a lot of time as Sarah this next week, but it's not normally like that. I have my first concert next Saturday, and my record label is trying to cram as much as they can into this week to make sure that I'm ready for it."
Mary raised her eyebrows at that information. "A concert already?"
"Well," I said with a small blush. "Josh Holliday asked me to open for him when his opening band had to pull out. It wouldn't normally be this quick."
"I see," said Mary. "What are your feelings about Josh?"
"That's a hard question to answer," I said truthfully. I'd had a feeling we would be discussing Josh next. "I realized sometime over the past two weeks that I haven't been looking at girls in that way in quite a while. Longer than the last two weeks, anyway. But I was even more surprised when I started to respond to guys like that. It scared me at first, but it seems natural somehow. I'm not quite sure how to explain it."
"So you're attracted to boys now. That seems normal for a teenage girl to me." Mary smiled to let me know she wasn't repulsed at this information or anything. "But how do you feel about Josh?"
"Like I said, I'm not really sure how to answer that question," I told her. "We went to dinner before the Tween Awards last Saturday. All through dinner he was doing nothing but annoying me. In fact, just before we left the restaurant, I was pretty sure that we couldn't even be friends. But he changed after that. I don't know exactly how it happened, but he seemed to care more about me and he really helped me make it down the red carpet. Then, during the show, the kiss, his speech, it seemed kind of magical."
I paused and tried to collect my thoughts. "I don't know. There are plenty of things that I do not like about Josh Holliday. But I can't deny that I'm attracted to him because of more than his good looks. He made me feel special."
"I'm going to caution you here, but it isn't related to your condition," Mary said. "I know you haven't had many relationships in your life. It's possible that this is nothing more than a crush."
"I know," I told her. "I don't know if I love him or anything. Maybe it is just a crush, I don't know. But it wasn't a factor in deciding to stay a girl."
"Alright," she said. "I just want you to be careful. Being a girl is still new to you. I don't want you to get hurt."
"I'll try," I said. I'm not sure what else she wanted to hear.
"Let's talk about Sarah, then," Mary said, moving on. "How do you feel about her?"
"I'm really glad that we decided to separate my music career from my home life," I told her. "Being out with Josh last Saturday, I can see how annoying being in the spotlight can be. This way, I'll be able to turn off the spotlight if it becomes too much to handle. I hope it can help keep me levelheaded too. Some of the things that annoy me most about Josh are his attitudes that he probably fell into because he's famous."
"Like what?" Mary asked.
"Well, the one that bugged me most was his blatant disregard for other people's money," I told her. "My dad is both his agent and mine. That's how we ended up going to the awards show together. Anyway, Dad paid for dinner as our agent, not as my father. Josh doesn't know he's my father. I only ordered a salad. I wasn't really hungry, but I didn't want to waste Dad's money either. Josh said that I was being stupid by not taking advantage of the offer. He ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. Its stuff like that I hope to avoid."
We talked for quite a while about my feelings on different parts of what I was going through before she asked me the million dollar question.
"What would you like to do now?" she asked. The question caught me off guard. I hadn't thought about it, but I knew what she was referring to. She was talking about hormones. We'd discussed the different options as part of my decision. Now that I had made the decision, she wanted to know what the next step was going to be.
"I don't know," I told her truthfully. "I mean, I want to be a girl, and I'd like to start the hormones. But Tracy, my cousin, thought that there might be more to my development than just the accident. She didn't think that losing my, you know, was enough to cause me to develop breasts and the figure that I have."
I'd talked to Mary about my changing body before, so she was aware of the issues. She had admitted to me that hormones were not her specialty, and she really couldn't do more than provide me with a note to start them. The rest would be between me and a specialist.
"I went to a gender specialist yesterday, an endocrinologist," I told her. "Mom made the appointment after we talked to Tracy. Anyway, they did some tests and everything. I think it's probably best to wait until we hear back about those before making a decision on hormones."
"That's very mature of you," Mary said. "Most of my patients would be so anxious to start the hormones that they wouldn't even consider what you just said."
"Tracy is really smart," I told her. "She's a nurse. The way she was talking, it almost sounded like I might not even need hormones. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
"Alright," Mary said. "In that case I think we should close the session for today. If you aren't opposed to it, I'd like to increase our visits to every Saturday, at least for the time being. This is going to be a critical time for you, and I think it would help."
Thinking about how often I wished that I could talk to Mary over the last two weeks, I realized that it would probably be a good idea. So much had happened in the last two weeks that I felt overwhelmed at times. Talking to Mary was always a big help.
"That actually sounds really good," I told her. "There were so many times that I wished I could talk to you. I think it would help. Oh! I don't know if I can come next Saturday, though. We're supposed to be flying out to Salt Lake sometime in the morning, but I don't know when. Can I check with my dad and call to make an appointment?"
"Yes, that will be fine," Mary said. "I'll save your normal nine o'clock session for you in either case."
"Okay," I said. "Thank you, Mary. I don't know what I would do without you."
She might be my therapist, but she was also my friend. Her eyes watered slightly when I gave her a hug to show her just how much I appreciated what she did for me.
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I walked into the room and took a seat on the couch. Ethan looked up at my entrance and gave me a sour look. How had I let this rift in our friendship get so wide? I never should have listened to my dad!
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 28 - Shh! It's a Secret! by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: March 29, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 28 - Shh! It's a Secret!
The first thing that I did after getting home from my appointment with Mary was to go over to Emily's house. I had about an hour before I had to be at the studio, and I wasn't going to go without talking to her.
I rang her doorbell, and after a moment the door opened. Emily was standing there.
"Oh, it's you," she said solemnly. "Don't you have to be at the studio, or something?"
"Yes," I unhappily answered. "But I don't want to go if it means our friendship suffers!"
She stood there, looking at me for a few seconds, thinking over what I had said. Without another word she opened the door all the way and stepped aside to let me in. I stepped inside and she closed the door before motioning toward the sitting room. I was a bit surprised to see Ethan sitting there, but it certainly made talking to them easier since I wouldn't have to find him later.
I walked into the room and took a seat on the couch. Emily's family kept a TV in the room, and it looked like they had been watching something. Ethan looked up at my entrance and gave me a sour look. How had I let this rift in our friendship get so wide? I never should have listened to my dad!
"Look," I said after Emily had taken a seat and both of them looked at me. It was obvious that I was the one who needed to do the explaining. "I'm sorry about not letting you guys be involved in my music. I wouldn't even have a career without you two."
I heard Ethan sigh, and Emily looked upset. Obviously they seemed to be regretting their decision to take me to the party at the Crawford's.
"I can't do this without you guys," I told them. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I tried my best to keep them from spilling out. But it was a losing battle. "I don't want to do this without you!"
"It's one thing to say that," Emily stated angrily. "But it's another thing to do something about it!"
"I know," I replied. "I talked to my dad last night. I told him that I wasn't going to sing if you guys weren't involved! Your friendship means more to me than singing!"
"What did he say?" Ethan asked. They both looked intrigued, but wary. It was obvious that they didn't want to lose this friendship either, but something had to change.
"He said some really stupid things," I told them. "He's been thinking about this as my agent, and not as my dad. When I pointed that out, he seemed to back down."
"Does that mean we can come with you to the studio today?" Emily asked with a hint of excitement. Why, oh why, did she have to ask that right then?
"No," I said forlornly. They both scowled and the tension in the room increased. I knew it was the last thing they wanted to hear. "I had to compromise with him. He agreed that you guys can be involved, but not until after next Saturday."
They seemed slightly happier at that announcement, but it was obvious that they didn't want to wait, either.
"Why next Saturday?" Emily asked warily. It sounded like I was offering a peace branch, but the branch might already be halfway in the wood chipper.
I sighed. "This is a big week for me. It's a week that you two should be involved in. But I promised him that I wouldn't tell you guys. I so badly want to, but I can't."
"Then why should we believe you?" Emily asked unhappily. This wasn't going well.
"Because we've been friends for so long," I told her. "You guys mean everything to me. My dad's reasons are stupid, but I have to honor them if I want to do this. I promise that after next week, there will be no more secrets, no more leaving you behind. But I can't do anything about it until then. I'm sorry."
The tears were flowing down my cheeks now. I didn't know what else I could do to convince them of my sincerity.
"Okay," Emily finally said. "I believe you. But you should have let us in earlier. We miss you, Megan. We hardly ever see you anymore."
"I know!" I cried. "I should have questioned my dad's reasons earlier! I should have realized that he wasn't thinking about this as my dad! If I'd done that, we might not be in this position! I'm really sorry!"
Emily leaned over and gave me a hug. I knew then that our friendship was safe. No matter what happened, we would get through this.
"Are you doing anything tonight?" Ethan interrupted our bonding moment. I knew that he was a part of this friendship too, but it was different between Emily and me. We'd known each other longer. Also, I couldn't give him a hug to make it better, not anymore.
"No," I answered. "I'm supposed to be in the studio until 5 or 6, but I'm free after that."
"Good," he said. "We're going to go out tonight. We need to reconnect this friendship, and tonight is a perfect opportunity."
I nodded. I couldn't agree more.
"Sarah Carerra, meet Peter Rheinholdt," Scott said. We'd just arrived at the studio to find a tall, skinny man in his early fifties waiting for us.
"A pleasure to meet you, Miss Carerra," Peter told me before taking my hand and kissing the back of my palm.
I blushed. Nobody had ever done this to me before, let alone someone older than my father. I wasn't sure if hiring Peter to produce my album was a good thing or a bad thing based on his actions.
Peter did seem to sense my discomfort, and let go of my hand with a quirky smile. The only positive was that it looked less lecherous than I would have suspected if he really meant something by that kiss.
"Peter is an accomplished producer, and he'll do good things for the album," Scott continued.
Dad was excited to have Peter on board when he had heard the name of the producer Scott was hoping to have us work with. I really didn't know the first thing about producing an album, so I was following his lead.
"I've got some good ideas for your music," Peter said. "There are a couple of things that I would like to change on the songs you've already recorded, but we will wait until after the concert to do anything more on them. We've also got a seventh song for you, a cover that we'd like you to sing at the concert instead of one of the others. We'll probably drop 'Open Your Eyes'. Today, I'd like to lay down the vocals for the one remaining song and the cover. That sound okay with you?"
I nodded my head before replying, "Okay."
"Good," he said. "I've heard that you're really easy to work with, and I'm looking forward to producing another great album."
If that didn't sound slightly self-promoting, I didn't know what would.
"Here, take a look at these songs for a bit," he said while handing me some papers. "I want to bounce some ideas off your agent."
"Okay," I said while taking the papers from him. What kind of ideas? If it was related to the music I would be singing, shouldn't I be involved? I glanced briefly at the sheets, but I stood there hoping to hear some of what he wanted to talk to Dad about.
Peter looked at me expectantly for a moment before he realized that I wasn't leaving. "Run along," he finally said and gave me a shooing gesture. That just made me start to dislike him. It seemed like his idea of “easy to work with” meant "easy to order around." He'd be in for a surprise if he tried that.
I took my papers and moved over to the couch that was in the control room. I hoped it was still close enough to hear what they were saying, but far enough that he felt willing to speak. Unfortunately, I seemed to be slightly too far away as he started whispering with my dad. I couldn't hear anything they were saying.
Giving up for the moment, I turned toward the songs.
The first song was entitled ‘I Just Wanna Have Fun'. It was a fast moving, pop-sounding number that looked like it would be fun to sing. The lyrics talked about all the pressures that were placed on young girls, and how as a young woman I wanted to throw those pressures away and enjoy my teenage years my own way. I really liked the song, and the chords that I could hear in my head, if correct, led me to believe that it would sound really good too.
The second song was the cover. It was entitled ‘Rock Star'. It was literally a Hannah Montana song. The song was about a girl who is trying to get a guy to notice her, but she can't really mention to him that she is a secret Rock Star. It was one of the many Hannah Montana songs that spoke of a dual identity, but it did seem to fit well into my current situation too. The last few words of "I am a Rock Star" certainly spoke of a new truth in my life.
I was worried about doing a cover of a song from someone whom I was competing against in my target market. I figured that the record studio knew what they were doing, but it did seem somewhat odd to me.
I was about to pull out my guitar and play through the songs to give me a tune to practice against when I realized that Peter and my dad were arguing. It started as a low rumble, but quickly grew until they were yelling at each other.
"I think that is a really bad idea, Peter," Dad yelled. "It's her music, not yours."
"That isn't the point, Don," Peter yelled back. "I've been in this industry a long time, I know what sells. If we just change the message and sound slightly, I think we can pull in a whole new range of fans."
"I don't care," Dad yelled back. "That is not the type of fans that we are trying to appeal to."
Scott opened his mouth to say something, and it looked like he was going to agree with my dad. But before he got the chance, Peter was yelling back.
"More fans mean more sales!" he yelled. "We can all make a hefty profit off this! I believe that we can get her first album to go double platinum!"
"I believe we can too," my dad yelled back. "WITHOUT the changes! You underestimate this fan base."
They stared at each other for a moment. I didn't know what they were fighting about, but it didn't sound like something I would like. I stood up and approached them.
"What's going on?" I asked. My dad sighed, and turned toward me to give me an answer. Before he got the chance, Peter spoke up.
"Nothing you need to worry about, sweetie," he said in a dismissive tone. "The professionals are talking about a few things. Go back to the music."
"Excuse me?" I asked in a raised voice. "This is MY music we're talking about, and I think I have a say in it! Don't you?!"
The look on Peter's face showed me that he disagreed.
"I know you're new to this industry, Sarah," he said patronizingly. "But you need to learn that you aren't in charge of the music. You sing the songs we give you, and we all make money. It's that simple."
I was stunned at his statement! Did he really believe that? I may be new to this industry, but even I knew that I got a say in what I sang.
I turned to my dad and asked, "What does he want to change?"
My dad sighed again, indicating that it was something I wasn't going to want to hear.
"Peter thinks that we can tap into the hard rock crowd if we change the sound of ‘Ever After' a bit," he said. "He thinks we can make it harder sounding and change the message slightly to fit both your current fan base and this new crowd."
"What?!" I screamed incredulously. "No way! That would ruin the song!"
Peter looked at me like I just didn't understand. "It won't ruin the song," he said. "It will open it up to a whole new market."
"It's a nice, peaceful, up-tempo, fairy tale love song!" I yelled at him. "Think Disney, that's what I did. Making it 'hard' WILL ruin it!"
"It's not Disney!" Peter yelled back. "Fairy tales do not have to be Disney! I bet the author didn't have anything like that in mind. They'd probably be happy to have the song appeal to a broader fan base!"
"I wrote the song!" I screamed at him.
That got through to him. He took a slight step backward, and his face changed. It seemed likely that he realized he had just taken his argument a step too far. Changing other people's songs was one thing, but suggesting to an artist that she needed to change her own song was a different situation altogether. The grimace on his face proved that he realized he wasn't going to win this argument easily.
"Then you must see how advantageous it would be to modify it," he finally said, a bit more softly. "Think of the money it could make."
"This isn't about the money!" I yelled at him. "The song has a meaning! I won't change it to make more money!"
Peter immediately turned from me to Scott. "I can't work with her, Scott. She's unreasonable."
When Scott didn't immediately jump to Peter's defense, Peter just shook his head slightly and walked out of the control room. The rest of us stood there, stunned at his reaction.
"Is he for real?" Dad asked Scott.
Scott opened his mouth, but appeared to have no idea what to say. I don't think I'd ever seen him at a loss for words before.
"I..." He finally got out. "I don't know. I heard that he could be a little controlling, but that...I don't know."
The three of us stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do next. Eventually, Scott realized that we were wasting precious studio time.
"Come on, Sarah," he said. "Let's get to work on those songs. If we can get these two tracks laid down, I think you'll know them well enough for next Saturday."
I couldn't agree more.
A few hours later Scott was playing back my latest attempt at ‘Rock Star'. I thought it sounded great. Once again Scott was able to talk me through what he wanted out of the music, and worked with me to get it right.
"It sounds amazing, like always," I told him. "Are you sure that I need a producer? You seem to be doing a good enough job to me."
The smile on Scott's face told me just how much he enjoyed doing this. "I don't know, Sarah, it isn't my job."
"But you want it to be," I said frankly, causing him to laugh.
"Maybe," he said. "But it isn't what they pay me for. I was only filling in because of the tight deadline."
"You could always do it just this once," I told him sweetly. He looked at me, and then started laughing.
"Sorry, Sarah," he said. "I've got a young girl of my own. I'm immune to that puppy dog look."
I continued looking at him, and eventually his expression changed.
"Alright, alright," he said with a soft chuckle. "I give up. I really do enjoy being in the studio. It's been a few years since I worked on an album like this. It'll be a fun experience."
"That's the spirit," I said with a smile of my own.
"Sarah Carerra," Scott said. "You're making this type of work fun again."
I laughed before moving the conversation to another topic I wanted to discuss.
"What's the schedule for next week?" I asked Scott and my dad. I knew it was going to be a crazy week, but it would be nice to be able to plan for it.
"Let's see," Scott said and reached for a folder containing some papers. He leafed through them for a moment before finding what he was looking for. "You have Monday and Tuesday off because of finals. On Wednesday afternoon you have an appointment with a choreographer we hope to use in the future. She'll help teach you what to do for the concert. We don't have time for any complex choreography on this one."
Choreography - I hadn't even thought about what I would be doing while on stage! Singing, obviously, but I'd been to more than one concert. I should have remembered it wasn't that simple. As if I wasn't scared enough to get on that stage, now I had even more to contend with.
"On Thursday," Scott continued, oblivious to the small panic he had caused me. "You'll meet with the band. We're going to use the band that laid down the instrument tracks for your songs for the concert. They're a good session band, and I hope that they can translate their work into a live show. We'll need to start looking for a band that you can work with if they don't work out on stage. Anyway, Thursday and Friday will be filled with practicing your songs with the band. Two days isn't a whole lot of time to develop the kind of relationship we'd hope to have on stage, but we're working with what we've got. At least you all know the songs, so we aren't starting from scratch."
"You also have an appointment with Julia on Friday morning," Dad informed me. "She has some ideas for what you should wear, and we'll pick something out."
"What about Saturday?" I asked. I knew we were flying out Saturday morning and coming back on Sunday, but I didn't know any details. Scott looked at my dad to answer that one. Dad opened the day planner that he always carried around and flipped through a few pages.
"The flight is at 12:30," Dad said. "We'll probably need to be at the airport by 11:00 at the latest."
"Does that mean that I have time to meet with Mary that morning?" I asked hopefully. Dad nodded before continuing.
"We lose an hour in the air," he informed me. "It'll be around 2:30 when we land. We'll be heading straight to the venue for a sound check. After that is completed we'll have most of the afternoon to check into the hotel and relax for a bit before the show, which starts at 7:30."
I laughed. Relax. Right. I was pretty sure that next Saturday was going to be the most stressful day of my life. Relaxing would not be on my schedule.
"Oh," Dad continued in a sly tone. "Did I mention that we'll be traveling with Josh Holliday?"
It had been a long day. Between the session with Mary in the morning, and the drama caused by Peter, followed by hard work in the studio, I was ready to climb into bed. But I only had about an hour before I was supposed to meet Emily and Ethan before going out somewhere.
This was one of the few times that I was glad I wasn't driving myself. I was able to lay my head back and rest for a bit while Dad drove us home. I had a slight scare when we passed Emily's house and I noticed that she was sitting on her porch. I had to duck down in the car to make sure she didn't see me, and stay there until Dad pulled into our garage. Life would be so much easier when she learned the truth!
We walked in the back door and I gave my mom a hug before heading to Sarah's room to change. Perhaps I'd have enough time to lie down for a bit before heading over to Emily's.
I typed in the code for the Armoire and opened it up. I reached up to take off the wig, before remembering that Mom had taken the time to pin it earlier that morning. I really felt too tired to find all the pins.
Stepping back out of Sarah's room, I headed for the front room, where I could hear my mom's voice.
"Mom?" I said as I entered. "Can you help me get this wig off?"
Mom's voice stopped speaking. Somebody gasped. Dad, who had been sitting in one of the soft chairs, bolted to his feet. His face looked frantic, and he glanced toward the front door.
A sudden burst of fear broke through my heart, and my gaze followed his. Mom had been talking to someone at the front door! I hadn't even heard the doorbell ring!
"Megan?" I heard someone ask. The voice sounded very familiar.
I'm sure the shock on Emily's face matched my own as she spoke again.
"You're Sarah Carerra!"
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This was bad. This was really bad! I had just promised Dad that she wouldn't find out about Sarah until after the concert. I didn't even make it a day before she learned the secret!
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 29 - It's 'Not' a Secret to Everybody by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: April 5, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 29 - It's 'Not' a Secret to Everybody
"Emily!" I screamed hysterically. "What are you doing here?"
This was bad. This was really bad! I had just promised Dad that she wouldn't find out about Sarah until after the concert. I didn't even make it a day before she learned the secret!
Before I could figure anything out, I was wrapped in a hug. That was the LAST thing I expected Emily to do when she found out the truth! I figured she would be mad! This was huge! And I had kept it from her!
"No wonder you couldn't tell me!" she said excitedly. I just stood there, mouth agape as she let go of the hug and stepped back. "Wait until Ethan learns about this! He has a major crush on you, or Sarah."
Oh great. As if this wasn't bad enough already...
"You aren't mad?" The words popped out of my mouth before I even knew they were coming. The one question I seemed to have for her required immediate answering.
"Of course I'm mad!" Emily exclaimed. "But I know you wanted to tell me! I could see it eating you up inside every time we talked about your music career! Now I know why! Wow! You're Sarah Carerra!"
Her excitement level at learning my secret far outweighed my own. I could feel the tears start to spill out of my eyes.
"What's wrong?" Emily asked, the concern in her voice very apparent.
"I just feel so relieved," I confessed. "Keeping this secret from you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But now you know! I can finally share this with you!"
She wrapped me in a hug again, and the two of us connected at that moment. We'd been friends for a long time, but this was different. We were girl friends now, and that meant something even more. I stood there with my arms around her too. The feeling of peace, comfort, and calm that was washing over me was one of the most amazing things I had ever felt.
Dad cleared his throat, ruining the moment. The great feeling I had been enjoying almost immediately turned to despair. He had threatened that I would be looking for a new agent if Emily or Ethan found out before the concert.
"Megan," he said. I looked over at him, and he looked upset. There was a pained expression on his face that could only mean he was following through with his threat.
"I'm sorry."
I couldn't believe he was doing this! He was my dad! Even if he dropped me as a client, he couldn't get rid of me! I didn't want another agent! I didn't want another manager! How could he dump me like this?
"I never should have made you keep this a secret from your friends," he continued, surprising me! "I won't hold this against you. They deserve to know. Emily, I'm sorry. You mean more to Megan than her music career. I can see that now."
He wasn't dropping me as a client! I expected he would be as mad at me as I thought Emily was going to be. Instead, he was okay with her finding out! The relief I felt at his words was indescribable.
"It's okay, Mr. Campbell," Emily replied. "I'm sure you had your reasons."
She didn't ask for any more details, for which I was grateful. Her rage would probably overcome the happiness she was feeling if she found out why my dad had kept the secret from her.
"Please give my apology to Ethan when you tell him," Dad said to me. Mom, who had moved beside him during the ordeal, gave him a hug. I realized that this was a big moment for my dad too. He was finally starting to realize that I wasn't just another one of his clients. Our business relationship would have to be special, or it wouldn't last. It would tear our family apart.
"I will," I told him. I was unable to keep the smile from my face. The day had finally come when Emily and Ethan would learn the truth about Sarah Carerra.
"We'll leave the two of you to catch up," Mom said before dragging my father down the hall toward their bedroom.
I stood there in silence with Emily for a moment. I didn't want these happy feelings to go away. But then I remembered how to make it even better.
"Want to see the 'Green Room' now?" I asked Emily with a large smile on my face. "You're going to like it."
"Okay," she replied, perhaps a bit warily.
I grabbed her hand and led her down the hall to Sarah's room. I opened the door and stepped inside, turning to see the look of surprise that washed over her face as she saw the room for the first time.
"Welcome to Sarah's room," I said. She looked around, wide-eyed. Dad had spared no expense when he furnished the room, and it showed. She walked around, touching everything as she went. I think she was trying to confirm that the room was real and not a dream or illusion.
When she reached the armoire, which was still open, she glanced inside at the many wigs sitting on their foam heads.
"These are all Sarah's?" she asked. I nodded. "I've never seen her, you, with anything other than the one you have on."
"I've never used any of the others," I explained. "Julia wanted my image to be set in stone before we start playing with it."
"Julia?" Emily asked.
"My image consultant?" I prompted. Emily had met Julia the week before when Julia had come over to take me shopping.
"Oh, yeah," Emily remembered.
I stepped over to the two doors on the wall next to the armoire and pulled them open. Dad had used the large walk-in closet in this room as a storage area before he converted it into Sarah's. Now, it was filled with all kinds of clothes and glam.
"Wow," Emily said when she stepped into the closet behind me. "This is amazing! I am so jealous of you!"
I could definitely understand why. If I thought that Megan's wardrobe was impressive, which I did, Sarah's was divine. High end dresses and name brand labels were hanging next to shiny pieces of glam made up of vests, jackets, shoes, and many other types of accessories. Any girl would die for a closet like this.
The only thing that would make it better would be the knowledge that I didn't have to pay for it. Unfortunately, that was a wish that wasn't going to come true. I knew that the account holding the assets of Sarah Carerra was already into six figures, but it was money that I wasn't going to see much of anytime soon. Dad told me my money would be kept in a trust fund that only gave me access to a certain amount every month, but I still didn't know how much that would be.
We spent most of the next hour in Sarah's closet. We held our own fashion show and I showed her some of my favorite pieces. She even managed to teach me a few things that Julia hadn't.
But most of all, I got to include her in Sarah's life. I told her about everything that I had done up to that point. I told her about the songs. I told her about my date with Josh. I even told her about the concert. The relief that I felt at finally being able to share everything with her was tremendous.
"Can I come?" was her obvious first question.
"I don't know," I told her truthfully. "I think my dad said the show is already sold out. I don't know if I could get tickets for you."
"But you're performing!" she argued.
"I know," I replied. "But I'm filling in for another band. They already gave out their tickets to people before they backed out."
"That sucks," she said. I agreed.
"I'll talk to my dad," I told her. "But we'd still have to work out travel arrangements."
Emily nodded and looked at her watch. She looked really surprised at how late it was.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. "We're supposed to be meeting Ethan in 15 minutes!"
Then she grinned with a sly, evil little smile.
"I have an idea," she said and pulled out her cell phone. Her gleam made me suspicious if I would enjoy this idea of hers, but I could only listen as she convinced Ethan to meet us at my house instead of her own.
When the doorbell rang 10 minutes later, we both started giggling. After she had told me her plan, I was convinced. This was going to be fun.
"Wait here," she said before quickly exiting the room and heading for the front door. Despite myself, I couldn't stay away from the cracked door to Sarah's room, listening to what was happening in the front room.
"Ethan!" Emily squealed excitedly. "You'll never guess who's here!"
"Who?" Ethan asked. He sounded intrigued at her enthusiasm.
"Sarah Carerra!" Emily replied. From the large intake of breath I could hear from all the way down the hall, I realized that Emily had told me the truth. Ethan had a big crush on me, Sarah, whomever. I hoped he didn't hate us after today.
"Come on," Emily said, and I was sure she must have grabbed his hand and started pulling. But the urgent "No, wait!" from Ethan had me laughing right along with the mirth I could hear in Emily's voice. As they turned down the hall I quickly made my way over to the couch and pretended to be watching whatever show was on the TV.
"No!" I heard once again. This time it was quite louder and obviously right outside of the room. When Emily pushed the door open, there was an immediate change in Ethan's stance. He went from trying to pull away from Emily to standing up straight and trying to look normal.
He was nervous. Very nervous. I'd never seen him look as anxious as he did standing there in the doorway.
"Sarah!" Emily practically yelled as she continued to pull him into the room. "Sorry to bug you again, but Ethan, the guy I told you about, is here."
Ethan's eyes opened wide at her words. I stood up from the couch and approached them. I tried to keep a smile on my face. It wasn't hard since I was about to break out in laughter myself.
"Hi, Ethan," I said to him. "It's really nice to meet you. Emily and Megan have told me all about you."
I may have overdone it at that point when I licked my lips, but it was worth it to see the expression on his face. I had a bad feeling that this would come back to bite me later.
"Uh," was his undignified response. He seemed to be at a loss for words. I smiled at him, which didn't help.
"Ethan," I said a moment later. I was supposed to continue the charade, but I couldn't. He looked like he was going to pass out from meeting me. Talking to me might give him a heart attack, and he didn't deserve that. "It's okay. Calm down for a moment. I have something I need to tell you."
He certainly didn't seem any calmer. In fact, it looked almost like he had become even more anxious as I started talking to him.
I did the only thing I could do to help calm the situation. I reached up and grabbed my wig. We'd unpinned it and my own hair before he arrived for this exact reason.
I pulled the wig away from my head, letting my brown locks fall from underneath.
"I'm Sarah Carerra," I told him. He couldn't take it anymore. What happened next was the only time I had ever seen Ethan faint.
"You girls are cruel," Ethan grumbled while we sat around a table in the food court of the local mall half an hour later. Emily and I giggled at his statement.
"You have to admit," Emily said. "It was pretty funny. When are the two of you going on your first date?"
I blushed furiously at her suggestion, but Ethan's response surprised me. He put on the required scowl at the idea of dating me, but for a brief moment beforehand I saw a glimpse of something else. Something that worried me.
I knew that he had a crush on Sarah, but he didn't have one on ME, right? Right? I didn't know what I would do if that was the case. He was my best guy friend! I didn't know if I could handle that! I mean, we grew up together as two boys!
Ethan hadn't said much about my revelation since he regained consciousness, and I didn't know if his silence about my alter ego was good or bad. He seemed to be bottling it all up inside, and that worried me even more. Any attempts to get him to talk about it ended in failure.
There was some ribbing and joking around as we finished our food, but thankfully no more discussion on the subject of crushes or feelings came up. The plan for the evening was to get something to eat and then go to a movie. With the food portion of the evening accomplished, we decided to stroll through the mall until the movie started. We had about 45 minutes to kill.
Unfortunately, Ethan would not let us enter any clothing stores. He said something about not wanting to wait around for us being the driving force behind this decision. Whatever. Instead, we were walking around trying to find some mutually acceptable store to enter. We'd finished walking around the first floor and decided to see what was on the level above.
We stepped onto the escalator with the other shoppers. It was an uneventful ride. But at the top, I came to a distinct and sudden halt. I almost fell when my feet hit the end of the moving stairs, and again when people behind me started pushing me out of the way.
There, right in front of me, was a large poster of myself. Well, Sarah to be exact. It was hanging in the window of a music store that we often frequented. I'd been told on two separate occasions during the day about the posters, but this was the first time I had seen one. And every single person who came up that escalator was going to see it too. It was unnerving to realize just how public my image now was.
"Haven't you seen it before?" Emily asked from behind me.
"No," I replied while shaking my head. "I didn't even know they existed until this morning."
I stepped closer to the poster and out of the flow of traffic that seemed to be upset with where I was standing. The poster showed me wearing the red dress that I had worn at the beginning of the second photo shoot. While the pose wasn't sensual or seductive in any way, the overall poster provided an allure that left me feeling slightly uncomfortable when I looked at it.
"That's the good one," Ethan said. The smile on his face didn't make me feel any better. I scowled, and his smile retreated quickly.
"Of course," he said quickly and sternly. "It's coming down tonight, right after I get home. First thing I do."
I'd known Ethan a long time. I knew him well enough to know when he was lying, and he was lying pretty badly right then. Even after finding out that I was Sarah Carerra, he still seemed to have the hots for her.
"Come see the others," he said in an effort to sidestep my ire. He quickly walked toward the store entrance and walked inside, leaving Emily and me next to the poster.
"Give him time," Emily said. "He's been talking about Sarah since Thursday. He heard your song Wednesday night after we left your house, and we saw the posters when we came to the mall after school on Thursday. He really has a thing for Sarah. Finding out that Sarah is one of his best friends must have been hard for him."
"I know," I told her truthfully. "But I'm scared about his reactions to Sarah. He's been my best guy friend since kindergarten. Emily, I don't know how to handle feelings like this from him."
"We'll figure it out," Emily soothed. "Whatever happens, we can deal with it. Who knows, maybe you'll develop feelings for him. He's probably a lot better boyfriend then Josh Holliday."
I started blushing again. I had told Josh Holliday last Saturday that we should start as friends, but my actions on Wednesday night when I gave him my cell number could certainly be construed as wanting more. I'd certainly acted like I wanted more. I think I did want more.
But Josh didn't know me before I started living as Megan. He didn't even know that I was Megan! Ethan did, and that made a big difference.
"Come on," Emily said and pulled me toward the store entrance. "The last thing we need is to make him feel even worse. Let's just act like everything is normal for now and work it out when he is ready."
Unfortunately, her statement made sense. Despite my desire to immediately understand what it all meant, I would need to wait. I followed her into the store and we made our way over to Ethan who was looking through the different posters the store sold.
"That one, dude!" a masculine voice said as a tall, tanned surfer looking guy stepped out of an aisle and stood next to Ethan. Ethan stopped what he was doing, and the surfer spoke again. "She's so hot."
Ethan raised his eyebrows at the guy, but stepped back to let him get closer to the poster.
"B4," the guy continued and then scanned the small compartments below the poster stand for the appropriate slot. He found what he was looking for, pulled a poster out and started heading for the cashier. "Thanks, dude."
Ethan was left with a perplexed look on his face.
"Hey, dude," Emily joked as we approached. We apparently caught Ethan off-guard, because he jumped slightly before letting out a laugh.
"That guy was nuts," Ethan replied, getting a return laugh from us.
"What poster did he buy?" I asked curiously. He seemed to be pretty excited about his purchase. I stepped over to see what poster was still on display, and I nearly choked! It was another poster of me!
The one still on display was quite different to the one hanging in the window, but still seemed to be too sensuous for my liking. I was wearing a white dress, which meant it was another photo from the second shoot. I remembered the dress well. It was the first dress I'd ever worn that hinted at cleavage. The padded pushup that I had worn did its job well, and I looked much bigger than I really was. Coupled with the dress were silver jewelry and a silver headband that they had put in my hair. The pose had me facing the camera with my head tilted slightly upward. Coupled with the white dress and silver headband, I looked slightly angelic. The poster seemed to scream naughty and nice at the same time.
I loved it and I hated it at the same time.
It was an amazing picture. The stark differences that played out in the poster drew my attention and made it hard to look away. But it was me in the photo, and there was a definite sexuality to the poster that I didn't really feel comfortable sharing with other people. I was still getting used to the idea that I truly was female. I wasn't sure I was ready for this.
"Amazing, isn't it?" Emily said.
"It's beautiful," I replied, running my fingers over the plastic covering the poster. I really didn't know what else to say. I was speechless. I had never seen a picture of myself that I liked that much before. Finally, I decided that I liked the picture, despite any other thoughts that entered my head since I first looked at it.
"Who would have thought that a wig could make you look so much different," Emily mused. I agreed. I knew that I was still attractive as Megan, but Sarah was somehow more exotic looking. Wait, wig...
"You two need disguises!" I told them excitedly.
"Disguises?" Emily asked incredulously. "What do we need disguises for?"
I grinned at her and lowered my voice. "You'll need them if you want to come with me to the studio on Wednesday!"
All thoughts of going to the movie were thrown out the window as we made our way to the same wig store where Sarah's wigs had been purchased. Much like Sarah's, both Emily's and Ethan's disguises would need to be excellent to prevent anyone from recognizing them.
"That's perfect!" I told Emily a short while later. She was wearing a wig that had changed her from a beautiful blonde into a fiery redhead. It actually looked really good on her. Her smile told me that she agreed.
But Emily was the easy one to disguise. Ethan was another matter entirely. He'd tried to put on a fake mustache, but it looked incredibly hokey. It wasn't until he finally agreed to put on a wig that we found something that would work. Following in my own footsteps, we had converted Ethan's short, dark brown hair into a stylish blonde cut that fell to the bottom of his neck. I'd never seen Ethan with long hair (longish for any boy I knew personally, at least), and he really looked different.
With disguises in hand, I made a call home. After the events of the day, Dad was more than willing to pay the bill from Sarah's funds. I had one of his credit cards (for emergencies), and he told me to use it and he would pay off the debt from Sarah’s earnings. Even though I did not have direct access to my own money yet, at least I was able to spend some of it with his approval.
We then started a crawl of the mall. Ethan wasn't able to keep us out of the clothes stores this time. We needed a wardrobe change for the two of them if this was going to work. We had to be just as careful with their disguises as I was with Sarah's, but in the end it would be worth it. They would be there with me whenever they wanted to come.
We went with a more refined, high-fashion look for Emily. She looked almost like she could be a model when we were through with her. Ethan got shoved into a preppy look. He didn't really like wearing the collared shirts and polos we'd purchased, but he definitely didn't look like himself anymore.
By the time we were done and were ready to head for home, it was nearly as hard to recognize my two friends as it was for them to recognize me as Sarah.
"Thank you, guys," I told them as I wrapped them both in a hug. "I was so scared I was going to lose you this morning."
They both returned the hug before we separated. With a smile, Emily said the best thing I had heard all day: "Friends forever."
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I sighed. I was sick of studying. At least when I crammed the music into my head it was fun. History and English didn't compare at all.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 30 - The Finals Countdown by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: April 12, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 30 - The Finals Countdown
After church the following morning, Ethan, Emily, and I were sitting in Sarah's room waiting for the American Top 40 show to start. This was the first week that my song qualified, and Scott thought there was a good chance it would be listed. I really wasn't sure if it was popular enough.
"Where do you think it will be?" Ethan asked. He looked slightly uncomfortable with our surroundings. Much like Josh, he felt ill at ease with the feminine decor of the room. He'd get over it eventually, I hoped.
"I'm guessing high 30's if it makes it," I told him. "It's only my first song."
"I don't know," Emily said immediately. "They play it all the time on the radio now. It’s more popular than you think."
I smiled at her. It was nice of her to try to play the song up, but it was unlikely to be very high on the list. I was a relative nobody with only a week of exposure. There was no way the song would be very high on the list, if it made the list at all.
"Play us one of your other songs," Emily changed the subject. "You said you had more, and I want to hear them."
I smiled. Nobody outside of the studio had heard my other songs. "Okay."
I stood up from where I had been sitting on the couch and walked over to the table where my guitar case was sitting, retrieved the guitar, and walked back to the couch.
"Nice guitar," Ethan said when he saw it. "When did you get that?"
"Thursday morning," I informed him. "Dad felt I needed a replacement for the one Austin broke."
"I thought that you..." the glare I gave Ethan was enough to stop him from finishing his sentence. "Alright, it was Austin's fault."
"Anyway," I said, trying to get back to the music. "I think you'll like this one."
I smiled at Emily before starting to play. It didn't take her long to realize that I was playing 'Ever After'. Her face lit up immediately when she recognized the song. I continued to sing for the two of them, and I could see their faces watching me in awe. Eventually, the song came to an end.
"You're using 'Ever After' as one of Sarah's songs?" Emily asked excitedly. I knew how much she liked the songs we had written together, and I was worried that she would be upset with me for not asking her first.
I nodded, "'Ever After' and 'Enchanted Forest'. You don't mind?"
"No," she said immediately. "I love those songs! And the way you were singing 'Ever After', it was amazing!"
"Come on," I said. "You've heard the song before. It hasn't changed at all."
"Maybe," she shot back. "But you sing it differently. It's almost like you have a confidence now that you were lacking before."
Had I changed? I knew that I was more at ease singing now. My voice matched my body, which it did not do when I was living as Brett. Did that make a difference in the way I sang?
"I know what it is!" Emily exclaimed. "You aren't scared to sing! Not like Brett was."
"I wasn't scared," I argued back.
"Oh yes you were," she insisted. "I bet you have no problem singing in public now."
I didn't know the answer to her implied question. I hadn't sung in public since becoming Sarah. All of my singing had been in a nice, lonely sound booth at the recording studio. Was I still scared to sing in public? The thought of the concert seemed to tell me the answer was yes. I wasn't sure how I was going to pull that off.
But I wasn't shying away from it, either. I'd tried to avoid singing when I was Brett. Other than the times I had tried to keep from singing to give away Sarah's secret, I had never been placed in that position since I started living as Megan.
I sang at church.
That was something I hadn't really done before. I'd mouth the words or sing softly, but that was it. But the last two weeks I had been singing! No one had said anything to me about it, so I didn't know if they noticed. But I had been singing! For the first time in my life I wasn't ashamed of my singing voice. I actually enjoyed singing now!
And why shouldn't I? I had a great voice. I really did like to sing. It was even making me a lot of money. Singing was my life now, literally. Every single day involved some part of Sarah. That wasn't going to change anytime soon either.
"I think you're right," I finally replied. "I'm not ashamed to sing anymore."
"Megan," Emily said with a look that told me I had just said something stupid. "You never needed to be."
I just sighed. She wouldn't understand how I had felt before I realized who I truly was.
Then I had another thought. This one was about Emily.
"Emily," I said. "You should get credit for helping me write these songs."
That brightened her day a lot, if the smile that spread across her face was any indication.
"I'll talk to my dad," I told her. "But I bet you should even get some of the money the songs make."
She looked surprised at that information.
"You mean it?" she asked. "I mean, we were only writing it for fun."
"You’re right. But you still helped, and you deserve the credit," I told her. "I'm sure my dad would agree. But, did you come up with a name yet?"
"Name?" she asked in confusion. Last night we had discussed the need for them to have a second identity much like Sarah was mine. Without it, the risk of exposure was too great. After a moment of thought, understanding lit her face. "Oh, you mean for the redheaded me."
I nodded.
"What about Chloe?" she asked. "Chloe Carpenter. She's been Sarah's next door neighbor since they were two, and they do everything together."
"Chloe," I pondered the name. "I like it. You really could be a Chloe when you wear that wig."
"Wait," Ethan interrupted. "Her story is the same as yours and Megan's. How is that hiding your identity?"
"Well, I figured the closer the story is to the truth, the easier it will be to remember," Emily explained. I nodded in agreement.
"That's kind of what we did with Sarah," I added. "Her back story is pretty much my own with only a few modifications to help hide my true identity."
"Oh," Ethan said. He looked slightly downcast.
"You don't have to do that if you don't want to," I mentioned, guessing at his true feelings. "What did you come up with?"
"Xander Dailey," he stated with confidence. "You've known him since kindergarten, and he's been the popular guy at school."
"Xander?" I asked. It was definitely a...different name.
"Yeah," he defended his decision. "If I have to dress all preppy like, I'm at least going to have a cool name."
"Okay, okay," I placated him. There wasn't anything wrong with the name. He just didn't seem like a Xander. "It's your identity. I just want to make sure you have thought this through. You could be using the name for a while, I'd hate for you to get sick of it."
He seemed to rethink his decision for a moment before speaking. "No, I like it. It sounds slightly sophisticated, not boring like Ethan."
"You do realize that you modeled your life story on the truth," Emily interrupted us. "After complaining about it."
"No I didn't," he argued back. "I never was very popular, but Xander is."
"Yes," Emily said with a superior smile. "But all of the important pieces, like how long you've known Sarah, are true."
That got him to think again. It was obvious that he hadn't realized he had set up his identity in the same way we had.
We continued to talk about their new identities, fleshing out the details until the show started.
"You really don't think your song is going to be listed?" Emily asked me again after I had expressed my opinion of where the song would sit on the charts.
"Probably not," I confirmed. We sat and listened to the countdown, pulling out our books to study for our impending finals. None of us really wanted to study, but it did give us something to do while we listened.
The first five songs came and went. Mine wasn't among them. I felt it extremely unlikely that I would be higher than 35 and figured that I hadn't made it this week.
"Better luck next week," I told the two of them. I honestly was ready to turn off the radio and go do something other than study. I'd been cramming way too much information into my head over the last few days.
"Come on," Ethan said. "Let's at least finish listening. Besides, I really need to learn some of this Math better."
I sighed. I was sick of studying. At least when I crammed the music into my head it was fun. History and English didn't compare at all.
The show continued. Top 30, Top 20, Top 15. No mention of 'Intuition' came from the sound system along one of the walls in Sarah's room. I was saddened that I hadn't made the countdown. I guess it was to be expected. It was my very first single.
The Top 10 were always the really good songs, of course. I finally closed my books and just laid back and closed my eyes to listen to them. Number 10 was a hip hop song, not exactly what I liked to listen to. Number 9 was a Taylor Swift song slowly making its way down the charts after being at the top for a number of weeks. Number 8 was, well...
"Number 8 this week marks the debut on the American Top 40 for a young woman who has recently started to gain a lot of attention," blared from the radio. Emily, Ethan, and I all perked up at the sound. It couldn't be...
"From the kiss she gave Josh Holliday at the Tween Awards to the posters that are selling like hotcakes, Sarah Carerra's name will soon be a household fixture to young tween girls and even some of the guys. Her sweet yet sexy look has captured the hearts of both the young and the old. The vocals that back her look create an even greater demand for her music, and many are already clamoring for a new song. Here's Sarah's debut hit single 'Intuition'.
I was stunned speechless! I could only listen in amazement as the opening chords I knew all too well filled the silence lingering in the room.
Number 8? It had only been released for a week! How on earth did it rank so high on the countdown?
The song continued to play, and I continued to sit there. I couldn't believe that I had broken the Top 10 with my very first single! On the very first week!
"I told you," Emily said when the song had ended and they had moved on to Number 7. I was still in shock.
"Congratulations, honey," Dad said later that evening while giving me a hug. I had just put on my PJs and we were sitting on the couch in the front room. "A Top 10 debut is not something that happens very often."
"I still can't believe it!" I told him as he let go. "How did it get so popular already?"
"Remember," he replied. "The song was calculated to be a hit by the record company. They just needed the right voice to sing it. You have that voice, Megan. This is only the beginning. Sarah Carerra is going to be a very popular girl."
"Thanks, Dad," I told him with a smile. "But that scares me."
"I know, Princess," he soothed. "But I'll be there for you every step of the way. Your mom and Austin too. And Emily and Ethan. I never should have kept them away from Sarah. I'm really sorry."
"It’s okay, Dad," I told him with another smile. And I was surprised to realize that it was true. Any lingering resentment I might have felt about his decision was gone. I had seen the pained look he'd given me when Emily found out about Sarah. He had learned his lesson just like I had learned mine. We were in this together, and that meant sharing the responsibility for the decisions in Sarah's life.
"Speaking of Emily," I changed the subject. "I think she deserves credit for helping me write 'Ever After' and 'Enchanted Forest'. She should get her name on the credits, at least, but also her share of the money."
My dad nodded his head, but he had a grim expression on his face at the same time. "I agree," he said. "But that opens up a lot of complications. Even if we use her fake identity, we would have to tell her parents. Are you sure you want to bring them in on the secret?"
I hadn't realized that giving Emily her share of the proceeds would mean letting more people in on the secret.
"They're like family, Dad," I answered him. "They won't say anything. Emily's dad is a lawyer, remember. If you're worried, you can make them sign a non-disclosure agreement, but I think we can trust them without it."
"What about Anna?" he asked. That was an unseen problem I had yet to think about. Anna wanted to do everything with Emily and me. My dad was aware of the relationship I had with her. If we started leaving her out all the time when we went to do Sarah things, she would start to get upset. But she was also ten years old. If there was anyone more likely to leak the secret, it would be her.
"I don't know," I replied. "I think she needs to know, and I hope she could keep it a secret, but she is ten. I don't know. Can't we just start with her parents and go from there?"
"Okay," he agreed. "Do you want to tell them, or should I?"
It would definitely be easier if I let him do it, but it was something I needed to do. My parents and Emily's parents had been friends nearly as long as Emily and I had been friends. But my relationship with them was different. I didn't exactly treat them like parents, but we were a lot closer than many people are with their friend's parents.
"I'll tell them," I replied. "They deserve to hear it from me."
"Would you like me to be there?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied with a smile. "I think that would be a good idea."
We sat in silence for a few moments before I brought up the next thing I wanted to talk about.
"Who's coming to the concert?" I asked.
"We don't really have any tickets to give out," Dad said with a grimace. "The band you are replacing managed to give away all of the tickets that would normally have been yours to give away."
"So..." I prompted. "What does that mean?"
"I talked to Josh," he replied. "He has a VIP section reserved for his family and friends. He said that there was space for your family in his box. He even said he could probably fit my family too, if they wanted to come. Oddly, he was curious to see if you, Megan, would be coming."
"He asked about me?" I asked in wonder. He couldn't even get my name right when I talked to him as Sarah after he had met Megan. I didn't even think he knew who I was.
"Well, he called you Maren," Dad replied with a grin. "But he seemed to be interested in you like he was interested in Sarah the other day."
"What did you tell him?" I had to know.
Dad chuckled slightly before replying. "I obviously told him you wouldn't be coming. But I, your mother, and Austin will all be able to watch the concert with his family. He seemed to be upset that Sarah's family wasn't going to be there, however."
"Any way to sneak in Emily and Ethan?" I asked hopefully.
"I don't think so," he replied with a frown. "It sounded like the VIP area was going to be pretty full already. I know how much you want them there, Megan. I'll see what I can do, but I can't make any promises."
"Okay." I accepted his answer for what it was worth. I know they both wanted to come. I wish my first concert could have been closer to home. Maybe it would have been easier then.
"Can you get me a couple of the posters?" I asked, changing the subject again. "Or at least one of the angel ones?"
"Sure!" Dad said excitedly. "I already had Max place an order for me to the company that prints them. I figured we could frame a few and put them in Sarah's room. They should be here in a couple of days. Do you like them?"
"I don't know," I told him honestly. "They look really good, but they almost look too sexy."
Dad laughed, but he seemed to grimace at the same time. I don't think he was comfortable with me discussing my sexuality with him. I really wasn't comfortable discussing it with him either, but this was also an agent/client discussion about my image on top of a father/daughter talk. Our recent fight over telling my best friends had taught both of us that we needed to work together to make this relationship work.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "Max and I decided on which pictures to use together. We thankfully agreed that we would stay away from the sexier ones."
"There are sexier ones?" I asked with worry.
"There were a couple of photos that were more suggestive," he said. "But we both felt that we should stick to a clean, wholesome image for you."
"That's good," I said, relieved. I couldn't imagine anything worse than what I had already seen. "You could have at least let me see them first. I was really surprised when we got off the elevator at the mall and I was staring at a large poster of myself."
That got Dad really laughing this time. Before long, his infectious laughter had me laughing with him. I guess the situation had been kind of funny.
"I'm sorry, Princess," he said. "Max was in charge of getting them printed up. I honestly didn't know that they were going to be available to the public that quickly. I'll make sure that we let you see them before we make any more, okay?"
"Okay," I told him with a smile. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Megan," Dad replied with a smile of his own.
The rest of the evening was spent watching TV with my dad. Mom went to Aunt Judy's after dinner, and Austin was at a friend's house. I think the time my dad and I spent together that evening was beneficial to our relationship. We grew closer as father and daughter during that time, and I knew that we would be okay. We would be able to find the balance we needed between family and career. I was sure there would still be rough times ahead, but I was confident we could work through them together.
Eventually, I headed for bed. I probably should have been studying for my finals, but I just couldn't muster the desire. I believed I was ready for the tests. Any more studying would be overkill.
I fell asleep that night with only one thing on my mind: Why hadn't Josh called like he said he would?
The following day was pretty stressful. Taking tests can be like that. Stress before it's handed out, stress while you take it, then a lot of waiting for the next one. I think I did pretty well, at least I didn't feel like I had forgotten anything important.
By the end of the day I was nearly ready for bed. Taking that many important tests in one day must be inhumane somehow.
While walking home with Emily and Ethan, I decided that I should bring up what my dad and I had talked about the previous night.
"I talked to my dad about the concert last night," I said. "He wasn't sure if he could get you two tickets.
"Awww," Emily whined. "Are you saying we don't get to come to your first concert?"
"I don't know," I told her honestly. "He said he would try, but it sounds like there isn't any room. Even if he can get you in, we'd still have to figure out plane tickets and hotel rooms and stuff."
The two of them looked depressed at my words. I really felt bad about that. I wanted them to be there just as much as they wanted to come, but there wasn't anything I could do about it.
"Is your family going?" Emily asked.
"Yeah," I replied. "Josh has offered to let them watch from the VIP section he has for his family. It sounded like it will be crowded in there now."
We walked along in silence for a bit. I think they were disappointed, but not nearly as bad as they would have been if they found out about the concert after it had occurred.
"Oh, Emily," I remembered the other thing I needed to talk to her about. "My dad agreed that you deserve credit for helping with the songs. But we'll have to tell your parents about Sarah."
"Um, okay," she stammered. "How come?"
"I think it has something to do with parental consent or guardianship," I told her. "I'm sure you'll have to sign some papers, and that means having your parents' permission."
"What about the rest of the family?" she asked me. "What about Anna?"
I sighed. "Just your parents for now. I want to tell Anna, but I'm worried that she won't be able to keep the secret."
Emily nodded. Thankfully she didn't take my statement the wrong way. We both knew Anna well enough to know that she was a blabbermouth. It was hard for her to keep secrets, and we learned to be careful about what we said around her while growing up. This was one secret that couldn't get out.
"She's going to be mad, you know," Emily expressed her opinion. "Not just when she finds out, but when we start spending less time with her."
"I know," I replied. "We'll think of something. Hopefully we can trust her and tell her the secret at some point."
"So why is your dad telling everybody now?" Ethan asked. "I mean, he was pretty adamant about nobody knowing before Saturday."
"Yeah," I replied disdainfully. "But he's seen the error of his ways. I think he's realizing that I need support to pull this off. We can't do it alone."
"Who else knows?" he continued.
"My family, you two, Scott, and Aunt Judy," I answered. "I think that's it."
"What about Mary?" Emily asked.
"Oh, and Mary," I replied. "And Julia - I guess there are more people than I thought."
"Who's Julia?" Ethan inquired. I forgot that he hadn't met her yet.
"She's my image consultant," I told him. "She makes sure that Sarah looks good. She actually guessed the secret when I met her the first time. But she's known my dad for a while, so she can be trusted. Oh, and she signed a non-disclosure agreement. That was something I didn't think you two needed to do."
That brightened their mood somewhat.
"My parents are going to some work party tonight for my dad's law firm," Emily brought us back to the topic at hand. "But they should be available tomorrow if you want to tell them then."
"Okay," I said. "I'll tell my dad. He wanted to be there when I told them. And they should hear it from me, Emily. Don't let it slip."
She giggled, but I knew she wouldn't tell.
The rest of the night was pretty boring. Somehow I managed to spend some more time studying for the last of my finals, but I was pretty much studied out by the time I climbed into bed that night. I couldn't wait to get back to the music. At least that was fun to study.
Tuesday morning dawned clear and beautiful. It matched my mood as I dressed and joined Emily and Ethan for the last real day of school for the year. With only a day of yearbook signing tomorrow, the end of the school year was approaching quickly.
I once again managed to make it through the day without incident, and with hopefully good marks on the tests. With finals done, the risk of tormenting me had also passed. Rather than tempt fate, Emily, Ethan and I agreed to leave quickly.
I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Mom's car sitting in the car lot waiting for me.
"Hi, honey," Mom greeted me when I opened the door. "Hop in. We can give Emily and Ethan a ride home on the way to the doctor's office."
"Doctor's?" I asked with some confusion. I didn't know I had an appointment today.
"Yes," she replied while the three of us climbed in. "The doctor called about twenty minutes ago. She wants you to come into her office and get an ultrasound before we meet with her again on Friday."
"Is everything okay?" was my first and obvious question.
"She said it was," my mother tried to calm my rising concern as she pulled out of the school's parking lot.
"She said this was to confirm the results of the tests you took on Friday. It wasn't anything to be concerned about."
That was easy for her to say. Even if she was as calm as she looked, which I doubted, it wasn't enough to stop me from worrying.
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I gulped, but stood up. I wasn't sure what they were looking for, and it was making me nervous.
"Come on back," the nurse said with a smile as I approached her. I looked over my shoulder to make sure that Mom was following me. There was no way I was doing this alone. Sarah Carerra
Chapter 31 - Revelations by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: April 19, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 31 - Revelations
"Megan Campbell?" the nurse called out from where she was standing near the reception desk of the L.A. Gender Clinic.
I gulped, but stood up. I wasn't sure what they were looking for, and it was making me nervous.
"Come on back," the nurse said with a smile as I approached her. I looked over my shoulder to make sure that Mom was following me. There was no way I was doing this alone. I followed the nurse down the hall and into an exam room.
"Mrs. Campbell," the nurse said after we had entered. "You can take a seat on one of those chairs. Megan, I need you to take off your clothes and put on the gown lying on the exam bed. You may leave your underwear on for now."
For now? I didn't like the sound of that. Before I could ask for clarification, the nurse had already left the room.
With a lot of trepidation, I started to undress. There was a small curtain in one corner of the room that I could have used for modesty, but I wasn't really very worried about my mom seeing me in my underwear anymore. Once I had my clothes off and folded on a chair next to where my mom was sitting, I glanced over at her. She smiled a reassuring smile.
"You look beautiful, honey," she finally said. "You truly are my little girl."
I started to blush. I hid it by turning back to the examination bed and picking up the hospital gown. It was one of those lousy ones that tied in the back and did nothing to cover the backside. At least I was still wearing underwear to hide any unsuspecting looks.
We sat in silence for a few minutes before the nurse returned.
"Okay, Megan," she said while motioning for me to lie back on the bed. At the same time she pressed a button on the bed to lift the back up to meet me. Once I was in a semi-inclined position, the bed stopped rising.
"Have you ever had an ultrasound before?" she asked me while grabbing a cart and pulling it over to the bed before taking a seat on a wheeled stool.
"No," I told her honestly.
"Well," she replied with more cheer than I could muster. "Other than a little bit of pressure and the initial temperature of the gel, there really isn't anything uncomfortable to worry about."
She turned the monitor to face her, but in the process she positioned the monitor so that I couldn't see it.
"Do I get to see?" I asked. I was still nervous about what would be on the image, but I still wanted to see it.
"I'm afraid not," the nurse said with a slight frown. "The doctor has asked that I do not show you the results today. She doesn't want to worry you unnecessarily before your appointment on Friday."
That had the unfortunate and opposite effect of making me worried.
"My name is Stephanie, by the way," the nurse said as she lifted the gown up far enough to expose my abdomen. I guess it still provided some modesty, but I was left wondering why I had even put the gown on in the first place.
"We're doing a pelvic ultrasound today," Stephanie said. "I know this might be embarrassing for you, but it will give us a better picture of what's going on inside of that tummy of yours."
She gave me a reassuring smile, but that didn’t help at all.
"This next part might be uncomfortable for you, but remember, we're all girls here." Her smile this time did have me smiling back. It really felt nice when people said that. She then picked up a bottle from the cart, uncapped it, and started squirting a cold liquid onto my abdomen before starting to smear it around. At one point she pulled my panties down slightly, and I was afraid she was going to expose something, but she stopped short. When she was done, she picked up the thing that they always run across the bellies of pregnant women on TV.
"Alright," she said. "I need you to try to hold still. If you can keep your breaths shallow, it will help. If not, I might ask you to hold your breath for a bit. I'm just going to move this transducer around your tummy and stop at a few places."
"Okay," I said. I just wanted this to be over with.
She then started moving the transducer over different sections of my lower stomach. She'd pause every so often and press a key or two on the computer. I was a bit uncomfortable when she moved the transducer lower, but she was able to help control my anxiety through the process. I watched her, hoping to get some indication of what she was seeing, but her face stayed impassive for the next twenty minutes or so that it took to perform the ultrasound. Whatever she was finding, I wouldn't get to hear about it until Friday.
Eventually, she placed the transducer down and grabbed a towel.
"Good job, Megan," she said. "I think we have some really good images that the doctor will be pleased with."
She started to wipe up the goop that she had placed on my tummy earlier. After she had most of it off, she handed me a couple of wet wipes to finish off, leaving the more intimate areas to me, thank goodness.
"You're all set," she said while pushing the cart back and standing up. "The doctor will have your results by Friday. You're welcome to leave once you get dressed."
"Thank you," I said, even though I didn't know why I was thanking her.
She smiled and then left me to get dressed.
We were sitting in our front room with Emily and her parents a few hours later. Dad had invited them over for dessert, but hadn't told them why. Emily had kept her word and hadn't told them my secret either.
I helped Mom pass out the banana splits we had made to everyone while Dad started on the specifics.
"Have you two heard of Sarah Carerra?" he asked Dan and Sharon Prescott. I saw both of them nod before Emily's mom replied.
"Yes," she said. "She's that young new singer. Emily has been going on and on about her all weekend."
I almost dropped the bowl that I was handing to Emily, which led us both into giggles for a few moments. But it wasn't just my mishap that had caused our mirth. I knew how excited Emily was to learn of my alternate identity. I just hadn't expected her to go on and on about it.
"Sarah is one of my clients," Dad said. "Emily helped write a couple of her new songs, and Sarah wants to make sure that she is given both credit and her share of the proceeds."
Both of Emily's parents were startled by the news.
"You helped write some of her songs?" Dan asked his daughter with some skepticism. Emily nodded.
"Megan and Emily wrote the songs," my dad explained. "But Sarah is going to perform them. However, it's a bit more complicated than that."
Dad looked over at me as I grabbed my own bowl and sat down next to Emily. Emily's parents followed his gaze. I had wanted the words to come from me, and now I was being put on the spot.
"I'm Sarah Carerra," I told them bluntly. I didn't want to sugarcoat it at all. The looks I received in return from my revelation were of skepticism instead of understanding, so I explained. "We created Sarah as a way to keep my normal life separate from the fame that Sarah is going to receive. It's why my career was so secretive up until now. It's why I couldn't tell Emily."
"Why are you telling us now?" Dan asked.
"Like I said," Dad took over the speaking. "Sarah...Megan wants Emily to receive her share of the profits for the songs they wrote together. That will require a guardian’s signature to complete the paperwork. We wanted you to be aware of what's going on because we'll be using a pseudonym for Emily."
"Why a pseudonym?" Dan asked.
"We're trying to protect Megan's true identity as much as possible," Dad explained. "To allow Emily and Ethan to go to different events with Megan, we need to disguise them to keep anyone from making the connection between Sarah’s and Megan's friends."
Thankfully, both of Emily's parents nodded at the logic Dad was using. I was half-afraid that they wouldn't let Emily go through with this.
"What name did you choose?" Dan asked, directing his question at Emily.
"Chloe Carpenter," Emily responded. "It sounded somewhat starish, I guess."
Her dad nodded, then we slipped into an uncomfortable silence for a moment or two.
"Can we hear the songs?" Susan, Emily's mother, finally asked me. "Emily always said that you had a good voice, but I've never really heard you sing before. Megan, you sounded really good at church, but it isn't quite the same as hearing you sing alone."
"Yeah!" I said excitedly. I'd wanted to share my singing with them since they had brought it up over lunch the week before. Now I had the chance!
"Let me get my guitar," I said while I stood up and ran down the hall to Sarah's room, where my guitar case was being stored.
I retrieved it and walked back down the hall to the assembled group. I sat back down next to Emily and opened the case and pulled out my new pride and joy. I slung the shoulder strap over my neck and strummed the strings lightly. Before I started I looked up at the many people sitting around the room.
Susan looked very excited, Dan looked intrigued, Dad was smiling a knowing smile, Emily was beaming, and my mom...Mom was almost crying! It was then that I realized she hadn't heard me perform as Sarah. She hadn't come to any of our sessions at the record company, and I hadn't played the songs at all while at home.
She caught my gaze, and smiled widely as tears started to slide down her cheek. I smiled back warmly. I was going to take the time to play all of my songs for her sometime soon, perhaps even tonight. She deserved the chance to hear them.
"These two songs are kind of fairy tale-ish," I told them. "Emily and I wrote them about three months ago."
"Start with 'Ever After'," Emily said before I could start playing. Then she turned to her mom, "It's the good one."
"'Ever After' it is," I said with a smile. I then started strumming the guitar and started singing the song. It felt so good to be singing again. It felt so good to finally let other people hear my voice and not be ashamed by it. The realization that I had come to on Sunday was more than evident in my singing. I didn't have to hide my voice anymore.
About halfway through the song Austin walked into the room. He'd been hanging out in his room, but hearing my singing had caused him to come out and investigate. He sat down on the couch next to Mom with a large smile plastered across his face.
I continued to sing, returning his smile with one of my own. The song seemed to have everyone in the room entranced, myself included.
When the song ended, I could feel the rush flow through me that I had started to recognize as the joy I had in performing. The excitement and the emotion were all so much more tangible than it had ever been when I was Brett.
"That was awesome, Megan!" Austin was the first to speak. He hadn't ever really heard me sing either. His compliment brought another smile to my lips. "When did you get that guitar? It's pretty cool."
"Thanks," I told him. "Dad bought it for me last Thursday."
"Sarah bought it herself," Dad interceded before Austin could complain about not getting anything expensive. That clarification made me frown. I thought it was a present from him, not something that was bought with my earnings.
"The song was lovely, Megan," Susan Prescott said. "You really do have a beautiful voice."
"Thank you," I replied, but I could feel the beginning of another blush.
I continued to sing some of my songs for them for the next half hour or so. It was great to be able to share this part of my life with the people I cared most about. If only Ethan had been there, it would have been perfect.
By the end of the night, I had sung all of the songs for them, except for the cover of Rock Star. They had nothing but praise for me, but perhaps that was to be expected from family. I was sure there was still plenty I could improve on.
Falling asleep that night was easy after they had poured so much of their love into me.
I was nervous walking to school the next day. Finals were over, and I didn't know what that would mean for me regarding the harassment I had been receiving. The threat of being suspended without being able to take the finals was no longer there to prevent others from doing something to me. It was either going to be a very bad day, or a very good one.
"Are you guys coming this afternoon?" I asked Emily and Ethan while we walked. We hadn't talked about them coming, but they knew I was meeting my choreographer.
"I can't," Ethan said while frowning. "My mom is checking me out early. We're going up to my uncle's this evening."
I nodded. Ethan's family often made the long, two-hour drive up to his extended family's house.
"What about you, Emily?" I asked.
"I don't know," she said. "I want to go to a couple of classes after lunch and get my teachers to sign my yearbook. But I really, really, want to come with you too."
"It might be boring today," I tried to tell her. "I don't know what I'm going to be doing with the choreographer."
"Mom said she would drive me down later if I wanted to come after classes," she said hopefully.
"That would work," I told her. "I don't know exactly where it is, but I'm sure we could get the address from my dad."
"Sounds like a plan," she said while smiling.
Yearbook day was one of the best days of the school year. No pop quizzes, no assignments, no teacher lectures, just people hanging around signing each other’s yearbooks.
We still had to go to class though. They passed the yearbooks out during first period, and other than free time at lunch, we only got to see the people in our classes throughout the day. Luckily, I got to leave at the end of lunch to meet my choreographer.
I had no problems getting to my first period class. I did get a couple of dirty looks from a couple of football players, but they didn't try anything. They seemed to be even more upset with me since the incident with Jared. I was certain they blamed me for the whole thing, but nobody else had tried to do anything to me. I hoped that streak continued throughout the day.
Ms. Carson was happy to sign my yearbook. She really seemed to be friendly to me since Friday's incident. Most of the other students were the same way. It felt weird to be writing messages to the people I'd known throughout the school year and signing them as Megan, but at the same time it also felt right.
Second, third, and fourth period also went by without a hitch. I was signing more yearbooks than I had ever done in previous years. I'd apparently made a big impression on people with my change, and they wanted to remember me, for better or worse.
When lunch started, I managed to stop by the classrooms of a couple of teachers whom I wanted to get to sign my yearbook. Even Coach Madsen had been willing to sign it.
Dad was picking me up just before the end of lunch, so I had enough time to find some of my friends whom I wanted to have sign my yearbook before I had to leave. I also had enough time to grab some lunch. After getting my food, I sat down next to Emily at our usual table. She immediately grabbed my yearbook and I grabbed hers. The yearbooks then continued to be passed around the table until our small group of friends had time to sign each one. I even had a few others come up to me and ask for me to sign their yearbooks while we ate.
Toward the end of lunch, when I was getting ready to meet my dad in the office, I noticed Paul Johnson nervously looking at me from where he was sitting at another table. Paul had been my lab partner in biology last semester. He wasn't the most social person, and it had taken most of the semester to get him to finally open up to me. I liked Paul, but we hadn't really seen each other much after biology had ended. I did have a good idea of why he was hesitant to talk to me, though.
"I'll make sure my dad gives your mom the address," I said to Emily as I stood up. She nodded back to me and I grabbed my bag and empty tray and walked over to the table that Paul was sitting at.
"Hi, Paul," I told him while sitting down across from him. "Will you sign my yearbook?"
I handed him my yearbook, but he looked like he was going to have a heart attack just taking it from my hands.
"Paul," I said with a genuine smile. He looked at me, and I had the sudden thought that he might just throw up if he tried to talk. "It's me, you don't have to be scared to talk to me, okay. We got past that last semester, remember?"
He nodded, and he started to look better, but he was still shaking slightly.
"Is it because I'm a girl now?" I asked him. He nodded and dropped his eyes. Paul had admitted to me that he was scared of girls. He choked up every time he tried to talk to them. He was a really nice guy, but no girl had ever been given the chance to know him because he couldn't communicate with them. "I'm still the same person, Paul. Don't think of me as a girl. Think of me as a friend."
"But you're so beautiful," he finally managed to speak. Immediately I started to blush, which only served to make him embarrassed on top of the discomfort he was already feeling.
"Thank you, Paul," I reassured him. "But you don't have to be afraid to talk to me, okay? We're friends, and I'll be there for you if you need anything."
Paul really needed a good friend. He'd come to me a few times since the end of the last semester when he needed someone to talk to, and I didn't want that to stop just because I was Megan now. I felt bad enough that I couldn't do more for him, but being his friend would have to suffice.
"Will you sign my yearbook?" I asked him a second time. This time he smiled. I think he was happy to still call me his friend, and I hoped he could learn to get past the changes that I had gone through.
"Only if you sign mine," he said.
I smiled and picked his yearbook up and flipped through it to where my picture was located. It of course still listed me as Brett, since they were printed long before last Monday, but I had made sure to cross it out and write Megan for any book that I had signed. The funny thing was that the picture was actually a picture of Megan. Sure, I was Brett at the time it was taken, but I didn't see him in the picture, I could only see me. It seemed fitting to me.
With care, I wrote 'I'll always be there when you need me,' and signed it 'Megan'.
"Hi Dad," I said when I entered the main office a few minutes later.
"Hi, Princess," he replied. "Are you ready to go?"
"Almost," I told him. "I was hoping to get Principal Hall to sign my yearbook first."
"He's in his office if you'd like to ask," the secretary helpfully interrupted.
"Okay," I said and walked over to the Principal's door. I gave it a light knock, not sure if this was a good idea or not. After a moment or two, the door opened and the principal was standing there.
"Hi, um, Principal Hall," I stammered.
"Hi, Megan," he responded with a grin that helped to put me at ease. "What can I do for you?"
I lifted up my yearbook for him to see. "I was hoping you'd sign my yearbook?"
He took the proffered book and stepped back into his office, where he grabbed another book and a pen off of his desk.
"Only if you sign mine," he said with an even larger smile. This one wasn’t forced.
"It would be my pleasure," I replied with a smile matching his own.
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"Have you ever had any dance training?" she asked.
"No," I told her while taking a seat in the chair she had indicated. "I'm a bit scared, actually." Sarah Carerra
Chapter 32 - Can I Have This Dance? by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: April 26, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 32 - Can I Have This Dance?
I was very nervous standing in the lobby of the ActiveLife Dance and Fitness Center. It was a large facility just outside of Beverly Hills that seemed to be designed specifically for well paid choreographers and physical trainers to set up shop with a high-paying clientele. Kate Abernathy, my new choreographer, had her own dance studio in the building.
Dad had said that he had taken care of everything, and that there was nothing to worry about. But that wasn't enough to overcome the nervousness that I felt as I stared at the door to the women's locker room while he signed me in at the reception desk.
"Sarah," he said, startling me from my own thoughts. I turned back toward the desk. "You need to sign this."
He slid a sign-in sheet toward me and I picked up the pen on top and signed my name.
"Thank you," the receptionist told me with a fake smile. "If you will follow Brittany, she'll show you to your locker."
"Okay," I replied. I lifted the pink and white gym bag that Julia and I had picked out from the floor and onto my shoulder before turning to Brittany. She was standing next to the reception desk. She was a couple of years older than I was, maybe even graduating sometime this week. She opened her mouth to say something, but we were interrupted by my dad.
"Sarah," he said, and I turned to face him. "I've got a couple of other clients I need to check in on. I'll be back to pick you up, okay?"
"Okay," I said with a nod for emphasis. He gave me a smile and turned to head for the entrance. I turned back to Brittany.
"If you'll follow me, Ms. Carerra," she said and motioned with her arm toward the door to the locker room. I nervously followed behind her.
The locker room looked brand new. I knew it was a few years old, but it appeared to be well maintained. I felt slightly out of place as I was led past a number of rows of lockers where women of various ages were in different stages of dressing. But a quick glance from them to me before they continued to go about their business was enough to make me feel like I belonged.
Brittany led me over to one of the walls, where there were six doors labeled 1-6. I had apparently been assigned door number four, since she stopped right in front of it.
"This will be your private changing room for today," she said while handing me a key. "The door is always locked from this side. Make sure you have the key with you when you leave. After you're finished changing, I'll meet you outside that door."
She pointed to a door at the far end of the wall.
"Thank you," I told her.
"No prob," she said with a smile before turning and heading for the door she had mentioned.
I took a deep breath and turned toward the door in front of me. I inserted the key into the lock and turned it. With a push, the door opened easily. On the inside was a room I had definitely not expected. It was a square about ten feet wide and ten feet long. The color was primarily white, but small splashes of pink could be seen all throughout the room, making it feel very feminine. In the back left corner was a shower stall and a toilet. The rest of the wall was filled with a large mirror and a sink. The left wall contained a number of large lockers. There was a comfortable looking bench in front of them. On the right was a soft looking sofa. The whole room was well lit and immaculately clean. I guess it was the type of room a rock star would expect to change in when she went to the gym - private and well appointed. At least nobody would find out my secret in here.
I set my bag down on the bench and opened one of the lockers. There was plenty of room to store everything inside, and I started to undress until I was in my underwear, hanging up my clothes inside the locker. I then turned toward the gym bag.
Julia and I had picked out some workout clothes for me during our shopping spree. I pulled a pair of black yoga pants and a white tee with a pink, glittery star across the front from the bag. It once again looked simple, but had a bit of glam to it. At least it looked like it would be comfortable to move around in.
After getting dressed, I took a look in the mirror. It was weird to see Sarah dressed down like this. She was always so glam and glitzy. It was odd to see another side of her, of me.
I figured I'd better not keep Brittany waiting, and with key in hand, I exited the small locker room, walked down toward the door that she had gone through, and found her waiting for me in a comfortable lounge area on the other side.
"Ready?" she asked unnecessarily as she stood up. I nodded, and she motioned to a hallway off one side of the lounge. "Kate's studio is down this way."
I followed her down the hall to a door with 'Kate Abernathy' stenciled across it. Smiling, Brittany knocked on the door and then turned and walked away, leaving me nervously waiting for someone to answer.
The door opened quickly, and a tall, skinny woman with long black hair and slightly Asian features was standing there with a smile on her face. She looked to be in her early thirties.
"Sarah?" she asked me. I nodded, and her smile broadened. "Pleased to meet you, I'm Kate Abernathy. Come in."
She stepped back and opened the door for me to enter. Inside was what I would call a typical dance studio. It was well decorated and seemed to be quite modern. The far wall was lined with plate glass windows that looked out on the many fountains and flowers that made up the garden behind the Center. The wall to my left, which was longer than the far wall, was covered in mirrors and had a bar running the length. The wall to my right was a soft pink, and was fairly devoid of decoration to allow the dancers to see themselves easily in the mirror.
"Have you ever had any dance training?" she asked me while motioning for me to take a seat on a comfortable looking chair just inside the door. She was already falling into a chair opposite it.
"No," I told her while taking a seat in the chair she had indicated. "I'm a bit scared, actually."
She laughed lightly. The tinkling sound of her laughter had a way of putting me at ease almost immediately.
"Don't worry," she said. "I could teach a trucker to dance ballet if needed. We'll get you in shape for your concert quickly."
While her words seemed boastful, they didn't come across that way. She was trying to instill confidence in me, and somehow it was working. I hoped that she was telling the truth. I'd never really done any sort of dancing before.
"I'd like to start by getting to know you," Kate continued. "Scott said that he would like me to be your choreographer in the future if I'm available, and I like to get to know my clients before I make that type of commitment. Is that okay with you?"
"Yes," I replied. "What would you like to know?"
We spent the next twenty minutes getting to know each other. I told her as much as I could about Sarah and her life, and she told me more about herself. Her father was American, but her mother was Japanese. She grew up in San Diego, where she started dancing at an early age and fell in love with it immediately. She moved up to L.A. when she graduated high school to try out for a dance company, which she danced with for seven years before starting her own choreography and dance business. She truly loved what she did for a living.
"Alright," she said after we both were starting to feel comfortable with each other. "Are you ready to get started?"
"I guess," I replied. The nervousness I had originally felt when entering her studio had returned.
"Don't worry, Sarah," she said with a comforting smile. "We aren't doing anything difficult today. You'll catch on quickly."
She stood up, and I did the same.
"Stand on that x," she told me, pointing to a small x that had been made with tape on the floor. As I moved toward it, she stepped over to another door and opened it. On the other side I saw a small storage room. She entered the room briefly and then returned with a microphone stand, of all things. She brought it over to where I was standing and placed it in front of me.
"Sing for me," she said. I stood there confused for a minute, but she just smiled before walking over to the sound system. With a push of a button, 'Intuition' started to fill the air inside the studio. She walked back over to where I was standing, a twinkle in her eye.
I started singing. I wasn't quite sure why she wanted me to sing, but it was definitely better than dancing, in my opinion. I let the music flow through me, and gave her a small mini concert. Once 'Intuition' was over, 'Pop Princess' started to play. I knew then that she had access to my music, because the song had not yet been released to the public.
"Pull the mic out of the stand this time," she said, and I pulled the microphone from the stand and sang the song into it.
When the song finished this time, she walked over to the sound system and turned it off.
"Good," she said. "I told you this would be easy."
"Huh?" I asked, confused. I hadn't done anything yet.
"I wanted to see what you would do while you sang," she explained. "You're already most of the way to where I was hoping we could get you before Saturday."
"Oh," I said, completely surprised. I hadn't really been thinking about what I had been doing while I sang.
"Try to be aware of what you are doing this time," Kate said while turning the music back on. This time 'I Just Wanna Have Fun' started playing.
We continued in that format for the next several hours, with a short break around 4:00. Eventually, Kate had me try and change the natural movements that I had been making while I sang. She told me that she didn't want to change much. She was just looking to refine how I already moved, making it flow better while I was on the stage. By making me more conscious of what I was doing while on stage, I was taking the first step in preparing for the more advanced choreography she had agreed to provide for a later date. For now, this would have to do for Saturday.
By 5:30, I was exhausted. I wasn't really doing much 'dancing' while I sang. We were focusing more on what I should do with my arms and my body while I stood with the microphone. She did have me walk around the room a bit to show me how to add some movement around the stage, but it wasn't very difficult. It was just a lot of movement.
"Let's stop there," Kate thankfully said. "I think you're ready for Saturday. How do you feel?"
"Exhausted," I told her. "But I think I’ve got it."
"Good," she replied. "You're a quick learner, and you listen to feedback well. I wish more of my students would listen like you do. It would make my job a lot easier."
I smiled at her. She walked over to the chairs we had sat in earlier and picked up a towel and threw it to me.
"Thanks," I said while catching it and trying to dry myself off a bit.
"I'd like you to think about taking one of my dance classes," she said. "You seem to have good dance instincts, but you could use some training."
I nodded my interest, but a knock on the studio door interrupted us before I could reply. Kate stepped over to the door and opened it. Brittany was standing outside, and behind her was an unmistakable redhead.
"Sorry to interrupt, Ms. Kate," Brittany started.
"Chloe!" I interrupted her. "You made it!"
"Finally," Emily said from behind Brittany. "My mom got stuck with a client and I didn't have a ride down."
Emily's mom worked at an art dealership near our homes. She often would have to run in to work when one of her clients would come in looking for something new.
"Unfortunately," Kate spoke. "I think we're done for the day."
"Aww, man," Emily said. "I knew I was going to miss it."
"If you'll excuse me," Brittany said before turning and walking away, letting Emily into the studio.
"Chloe Carpenter, meet Kate Abernathy, my choreographer," I said, introducing them.
"A pleasure to meet you," Kate said.
"Likewise," Emily replied. "I just wish I could have been here earlier."
"You didn't miss much," Kate tried to console her. "Sarah is a natural, and we got through it pretty fast."
Fast? That was four hours of hard work! I wanted to go home and take a nap!
"Thanks for coming," I told Emily. "I'm glad you're here."
"If you'll excuse me," Kate said in a tone that indicated the end of our session. "I've got another class at 7:00, and I'd like to grab some dinner first."
"Of course," I said and followed her out of the studio. "Thank you, Kate."
"It was my pleasure, Sarah," she replied. "I'll see you again next time."
With a small wave, she headed down the hallway opposite the dressing room. I started walking the other way.
"I'm sorry you missed it," I told Emily as we entered the locker room. "Tomorrow will be more fun anyway."
"Still..." she said, and I had to agree. It was her first chance to enter into Sarah's world, and she had missed it. "Mom said she'd go to the school for me tomorrow and turn in my books to make up for it. I can come down to the studio with you."
"That's great!" I told her.
I inserted the key into door four and entered the room, holding it open for Emily. She stepped in behind me.
"You get your own changing room?" she asked in awe while looking around.
"Awesome, isn't it?" I replied. She nodded and continued to look around.
"I guess you really are a rock star," she said.
"Um," I started. I wasn't sure how to broach this subject. "I think my dad did it so that I could change without being worried someone would see, you know."
Emily looked confused for a moment before I pointed down. A look of understanding lit her face and she started to giggle. Perhaps she had forgotten I wasn't completely female yet.
"I'm going to take a short shower," I told her. "That was really a workout. My dad should be here in fifteen minutes or so. Do you want to wait here or in the lobby?"
She thought about that question. Basically, I had just told her that I was comfortable changing around her, but she also knew that I was...different than her. In response, Emily sat down on the couch. She was just as determined to show me that she was comfortable with my body the way it was now, not the way it would be in the future (I hoped).
In response to her actions, I started undressing and placing my dirty clothes back into the gym bag to take home to be washed. When I was down to bra and panties, I looked over at Emily. She was staring at me with the same amazement she had shown at the beach last week.
I slipped off my bra, and she gasped. I knew what she was thinking. Here I was, up until a few weeks ago her male friend, sporting breasts that could only be found on a member of the fairer sex.
"Wow," she said. "You really must be a girl."
I slipped off my panties. Personally, I agreed with her, but my body didn't.
"Where's your thingy?" she asked with confusion. I looked down. It was right there. She stood up and stepped closer to get a better look. "That's all you've got?"
I sighed. It wasn't like I wanted more than that, but if she couldn't even see it from across the room, I guess I really had come home from that hospital as a girl.
I wanted to go straight to my room and lie down when I got home, but after walking in from the garage I knew that rest was not on the agenda for the evening. The sound of a baby crying was filtering throughout the house. Why on earth was there a baby in my house?
I walked through the kitchen toward the front room. Emily was right behind me.
"Megan?" I heard my mom say. "Is that you?"
"Yeah," I said while turning the corner into the front room. There Mom was holding...
"Heather!" I said excitedly and hurried over to where my mom was sitting on the couch. I reached down and took the baby that she was holding out for me.
The beautiful little infant stopped crying almost instantly as I cradled her in my arms.
"Thank heavens," Mom said. "She's been crying for 45 minutes."
"Aww," I said looking down at her smiling face. "There's nothing to cry about any more, is there?"
I tickled her tiny nose with my finger and she broke out in giggles, bringing a joyous smile to my own face.
"I need to run," Mom interrupted our fun. "I'm supposed to be meeting Judy, but now I'm going to be late. Will you be okay with Heather?"
"You're leaving her with me?" I panicked! I'd never been a babysitter before! Neither had Emily! I didn't know how to take care of a baby!
"Tracy got called into work and Mark is out of town," Mom said. Mark was Tracy's husband. He was a pharmaceutical rep and was in Chicago for some conference, if I remembered correctly. "She thought you would be a great babysitter."
"I'm exhausted," I told my mom honestly. "I've been dancing for the last four hours."
She smiled a knowing smile. I didn't like it.
"It'll be good practice for when you have your own children," she said. "When you're a mother, you're always a mother, no matter what time it is or how tired you are."
I grimaced. This was not the night that I wanted to learn a lesson like that.
"Spare diapers are in the bag by the couch, Tracy left some milk in the fridge," Mom continued to explain. "If you have any questions, ask your father. He's done this before."
Before I could say another word she stepped into the kitchen, kissed my dad goodbye, grabbed her purse, and rushed into the garage. I was left standing there with a giggling bundle of joy.
Emily's laughter had me glaring at her.
"It's kind of funny," she defended herself.
"Good," I said. "You can hold her while I change."
I thrust Heather into Emily's arms and quickly ran down the hall into Sarah's room. I'd only managed to get the first pin out of my wig before Heather broke out into a wail.
"There you go," I said while closing the last tab of Heather's new diaper and then giving her a kiss on the forehead. "All better."
"See," Dad said from over my shoulder. "I told you that you wouldn't need my help. You're a natural."
I don't know about that. It didn't seem like changing a diaper was that hard, but I still hadn't had any idea what to do before I called him in to guide me through the process. He refused to do any of it himself, but he did tell me what I needed to do next. The only positive side was that Emily had gone home to eat dinner and wasn't there to laugh at me.
But Heather filled her spot, laughing merrily as I picked her up and placed her on my hip. The sound rang straight through my heart and tickled something I'd never felt before. Despite how tired I was, I truly was glad that Tracy had left Heather in my care for the evening.
"Dinner is almost ready," Dad told me and walked out of the front room and into the kitchen. He was reheating the pasta that Mom had made earlier for us to eat while she spent the evening out with her sister.
"Ok," I replied to no one in particular, since he was no longer in ear shot.
The front door opened while I was standing there, and Austin and the four friends who had spent the night at our house last week came walking in. He looked at me in shock.
"What are you doing with a baby?!" he screamed!
"Shhh!" I shot back and tried to cover Heather's ear with my free hand, and pulling her head closer to my body to cover the other ear. Thankfully, Austin shut up immediately. "I'm babysitting. What does it look like?"
"Who would be stupid enough to trust you with a baby?" he asked. I was ready to slap him.
"Ha, ha," I said instead.
"Dinner's ready," Dad said, stepping back into the front room. He noticed Austin and grimaced slightly. Dad did not like feeding the neighborhood, even though Mom always made enough food to accomplish such a task.
"Can my friends stay?" Austin asked immediately. Dad sighed.
"I guess," he said in reply. "Just make sure everybody else gets enough to eat before you guys go back for seconds."
"Alright!" Austin exclaimed and led his friends into the kitchen. It was my turn to sigh, which caused Dad to chuckle before he too returned to the kitchen.
"I guess we’d better hurry if we want to eat, huh?" I said to Heather as I placed her into her car seat. She looked like she was going to start to get fussy for being put down, but a smile from me seemed to be enough to calm her down as I picked up the car seat and headed for the kitchen.
As I expected, Austin had claimed the seat I wanted.
"Austin, can I sit there please?" I asked as sweetly as I could. "I'd like to keep Heather out of the line of traffic."
He frowned, but a look from Dad convinced him to accommodate me, and he got up and moved to the other side of the table.
"Thank you," I told him with a smile as I placed Heather down at the foot of the table, in a corner of the room that would keep her from being bumped at all. She stared up at me with wide eyes.
Dinner was excellent, as always. It once again reminded me that I needed to ask my mom for some cooking lessons. Conversation was light. I think Dad wanted to ask about how the choreography went, but it was a conversation we couldn't have with Austin's friends at the table.
Austin's friends...the one downside to dinner. They really weren't bad, but they wouldn't stop looking at me. I'd changed into a pair of jeans and a red top that had a slightly lower neckline after getting home. I didn't expect to be on display when I came home, but I caught more than one of them trying to slip a glimpse in while I ate. It only served to remind me that they had actually caught a glimpse of my breasts last week when Austin had pulled his stupid stunt. I tried to ignore them, but they didn't make it easy. They'd apparently gotten better at whispering too, because I couldn't hear what they were saying this time.
After dinner, I helped Dad clean up while the boys ran into the front room and turned on the TV. Shortly thereafter, the sounds of Austin's X-box were filling the room.
"He means well," Dad said while showing me how to warm up Heather's milk a few minutes later. Austin had just screamed after winning whatever game they were playing, causing Heather to whine slightly louder than she had been since I stepped away from her to help Dad clean up.
After the bottle was ready, I took it and Heather into the front room to watch what they were doing. Sitting on Dad's favorite chair, I watched as they played some type of racing game while feeding Heather her bottle. She seemed so peaceful.
"Will you play your guitar for us?" Austin asked me out of the blue.
"What?" the question had caught me off guard.
"Will you play us something on your guitar?" he asked again. I realized that all five of them were looking at me. I'd been so busy watching Heather that I hadn't even heard them turn off the TV.
Initially, I was going to say no. I couldn't play them one of my songs. Doing that would have given away my secret. But the pleading look in Austin's eyes made me want to do something for him. I could easily play something else that Sarah would never sing.
"Okay," I told him. "But I need to finish feeding Heather first."
He seemed really excited, and they sat there and watched me as I burped her and then put her back into her car seat. She was already starting to doze off, and it broke my heart to leave her for the short time that it took for me to retrieve my guitar from Sarah's room.
When I returned, she was fast asleep.
"What do you guys want to hear?" I asked them while taking the guitar out of its case.
"Do you know that new song by Sarah Carerra?" one of the boys asked.
I almost laughed, because the look on Austin's face when he realized that this could blow my cover was priceless.
"I know of the song," I told the boy. "But I don't know how to play it," I lied. I'd taken the time to learn it since Scott had given me the sheet music.
"What about 'You Belong With Me' - can you play that one?" Alex, the boy who had gone to church with us last week, asked.
"Taylor Swift, huh?" I asked suspiciously. He blushed, but I had to give him credit for picking a good song. "Now you’re talking about my kind of music."
I checked on Heather before starting. She still seemed to be sleeping, and I hoped that the song wouldn't be loud enough to wake her.
I turned back to the gathered crowd and started strumming the guitar. This was actually a fun song to play, and I already knew that I could sing her songs pretty well. Austin and his friends looked on mesmerized as I sang the song. I became upset when Dad rushed into the room in a panic. Obviously, he was panicking because I was singing for them, but I wasn't going to stop just because I didn't have my wig on.
I continued to play, despite the frown he was giving me. When the song ended, all of Austin's friends were clapping and telling me how good I was.
"Play another!" someone said, but the doorbell prevented that from happening. Dad stepped over to the door and opened it to reveal Tracy standing there in her scrubs.
"Hi," she said looking at the gathered crowd. Spying me with the guitar, she looked around to find Heather. I pointed to the car seat at my side, and she calmed down. I set the guitar back in its case and picked up the car seat and walked it over to the door.
"Hi, Tracy," I said with a smile. "She's been a little angel all evening."
"You didn't mind watching her then?" Tracy asked. "I'm sorry to spring it on you like this, but I wasn't expecting to get called into work and nobody else was available."
"I didn't mind," I told her truthfully.
"She did great," Dad pitched in. "She's a natural."
I felt myself blushing again.
"Unfortunately," Tracy said. "I left my checkbook at home. Can I pay you tomorrow?"
"How about we go to lunch sometime instead?" I asked her. "If you bring Heather with you, we can call it even."
"You don't want the money?" she asked incredulously.
"Well," I replied with a quick glance at my father. "I don't really need it."
I was getting too close to the truth here, and I knew it. Dad's grunt was an unneeded reminder.
Tracy looked at me with confusion for a moment before speaking. "It's a deal then."
"Thanks, Tracy," I told her. I really meant it too. She had always been one of my favorite cousins, even if she was five years older than me. I always had fun when she was around.
"I have to work the rest of the week. How about I call you on Monday and we can set something up," she said and I nodded my approval. "Thank you for watching her for me."
"It was my pleasure," I replied as she stepped back out the door. We said goodbye and I watched as she strapped Heather's seat into her car and drove away.
I felt a bit empty inside when she, with Heather, had driven out of sight.
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Up until this point in time, it had always been about me. Everything else had been pre-recorded, and I didn't have to worry about anything but singing my part. We were going to need to work together if we wanted to pull off this concert.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 33 - I'm With the Band by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: May 3, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 33 - I'm With the Band
I was still tired the following morning, and I knew that it was going to be a long day. We were scheduled to practice from 9:00 in the morning until about 6:00 that night. Tomorrow would be just as bad. I started with my doctor's appointment at 8:30 in the morning, followed by meeting with Julia at 10:00 and then meeting the band in the studio at noon for more practice until 5:00 in the evening.
After my shower, I stepped into Sarah's room instead of my own to get dressed. I slipped into a pair of jeans and a white tee with a glittery design that Julia considered glam on the front when the doorbell rang. I figured it was either Emily or Ethan, both of whom were coming to the studio with me, but I wasn't going to risk answering it half dressed in Sarah's clothes.
A moment later there was a knock on Sarah's door, and I stepped over to open it. Both Emily and Ethan were standing there, or more specifically, Chloe and Xander.
"Good morning," I told them as they entered the room. "I'm just about ready. Have you had breakfast yet?"
Ethan nodded, but Emily shook her head.
"No," Emily added. "But your mom was making something that smelled really good."
"Well, you can go get some if you'd like, I just need to finish dressing and put on my wig."
"We can wait," Emily said with a smile before she sank down on the couch. Ethan sat down beside her.
"Alright," I said and stepped back over to my closet.
I looked at the many jewelry pieces on display and decided on some bangles for my wrist and a matching necklace. They offset the design on the tee perfectly. I then stepped out of the closet and over to the vanity. With a practiced hand, I pulled my hair up and started pinning it to the top of my head. Once that was done I turned to the armoire, opened it, and retrieved the wig. Turning back to the mirror at the vanity, I placed it on my head and started pinning it into place.
When I first started doing this, I couldn't pin the wig myself. It was hard to see properly while I tried and it was often apparent that I was wearing a wig after I was done. But with the necessity to be able to do it myself, I had practiced enough times that it was starting to become second nature.
I then turned to the makeup spread across the vanity. I heard Emily groan when she realized I still had to do my makeup, but it didn't take me too long to finish and then usher her into the kitchen to get her food. I was hungry myself.
Austin was sitting at the counter when we entered, and he looked surprised when we sat down next to him. I realized then that he hadn't really seen me dressed up as Sarah before.
"You look amazing, Megan," he told me with a smidgen of awe in his voice.
"Thank you," I told him with a grin. "But my name is Sarah."
"Right, Sarah, that's what I meant," he said and then immediately turned red with embarrassment.
"No problem, Austin," I said with a chuckle. "Do you want to come down to the studio with us? I'm sure you could pretend to be hanging out with Dad."
"I can't," he said longingly. "I promised Derek and Andrew I'd go to the beach with them. Besides, I get to see you in concert on Saturday, anyway."
I winced. The last thing Emily and Ethan needed was a reminder that they might not get to see the concert. I'd have to ask Dad if he was able to get them tickets.
After eating and cleaning up, we followed Dad out to his car, and we were off to the studio for Emily and Ethan's first foray into Sarah's life.
"Any luck getting tickets for Emily and Ethan, Dad?" I asked him while he drove us to the studio. I was really hoping he would say yes to my question.
"I'm afraid not," he said while frowning. "I know how much you want them to be there, honey, but it doesn't look like it's going to be possible this time."
I frowned. That wasn’t good news. I turned and looked at my two friends sitting in the back seat of Dad's car. They smiled at me, but I knew inside they were disappointed.
"Good morning, Sarah," Scott greeted us in the reception area of the studio when we walked in. He then nodded to my dad. "Don."
"Morning, Scott," I replied, Dad nodded at him. "I hope you don't mind, I brought a couple of friends today. They were the ones who got me to sing at your party."
"Oh," Scott said with enthusiasm. "Then they are friends of mine."
"This is Chloe Carpenter," I told him while pointing to Emily. I then turned to Ethan. "And this is Xander Dailey."
"It's a pleasure to meet both of you," Scott said while shaking each of their hands in turn. "I am in your debt for bringing such a wonderful singer to my attention."
"I'm just happy you liked her voice," Emily said. Scott smiled back at her.
"If you guys will follow me, I'll introduce you to the band," he said. I nodded and he turned to walk toward one of the studios, with me following right behind him.
I was excited. This was kind of like Christmas. I'd never had my own band before! Granted, it wasn't my band, but they were going to be backing me up, and that was cool.
We entered one of the sound studios, where three guys were in the studio itself and two girls were sitting on the couch in the control room. They all stopped talking when we entered, and looked at me. The three guys walked into the control room a moment later.
"Ladies and gentleman, meet Sarah Carerra," Scott introduced me.
"Hi everyone," I said with a small wave and a friendly smile. There was a chorus of greetings around the room before Scott turned toward the three men.
"Sarah, this is the band 'Pop Fly'. They are the musicians who provided the instrument tracks for your songs."
Scott then pointed at a tall, muscular guy in his early 20's with short, sandy blonde hair and green eyes. He was dressed fashionably and was very good looking. He was also wearing some kind of cologne that was tickling my nose.
"This is Jason Olson," Scott said. "Band leader and lead guitar."
"Pleased to meet you," Jason said with a smile that started to melt my insides. I managed to hold in my giggle and returned his smile.
"The pleasure is mine, I'm sure," I said. But then I started blushing again, which got a chuckle out of the band.
"Connor Christiansen, bass guitar," Scott continued the introductions by pointing to another muscular guy in his early 20's. This one had brown hair and violet eyes. I hadn't ever really noticed guys’ eyes before, but these two men had amazing eyes.
"Hi," Connor said and extended his hand. I took it and he gave my hand a small shake.
"Hi," I replied.
"And last but not least, Stacy Miller, drums," Scott said while pointing at the smaller band member. He was smaller, but it was all relative. He still looked like he worked out a lot and was very fit. Stacy had black hair with piercing, gray eyes. I wasn't sure if I had ever seen gray eyes before, and they looked very exotic.
"Pleased to meet you, Sarah," he said while extending his hand. This time when I went to shake his hand, he instead pulled my hand forward and kissed the back of my hand. He'd also found a way to make me blush, causing another chuckle from the band.
"At least we know you aren't an uptight diva now," Jason said, causing the band to laugh outright. It also got me laughing along with both Ethan and Emily. Scott managed to chuckle before turning toward the couch. I followed him and turned toward the two girls who had been sitting there. They were now standing, and it looked like they had been laughing along with us.
"Sarah," Scott said once our mirth had died down. "This is Sophie Lund and this is Holly Anderson. They will be providing harmony and backing vocals."
"Hi," the two girls said, almost in unison. Both girls appeared to be a couple of years older than me, maybe 18 or 19. Sophie was a beautiful brunette with dark eyes and she was wearing gorgeous clothes. She looked slightly sophisticated, but also down to earth at the same time. Holly was more of a mousy woman. Her brown hair was quite a bit lighter than Sophie's, and looked limp in comparison. But she still looked attractive and had an infectious smile that lit up her entire face.
"Hello," I replied, still smiling. Before I could say anything else, Scott spoke again.
"Good," he said. "Now that everyone has been introduced, shall we get started?"
I heard Ethan grunt from behind me. Scott turned to him and looked surprised for a moment. It was obvious that he had forgotten about him and Emily.
"Oh," I said in Scott's silence. "Everybody, these two are Chloe and Xander, my best friends."
There was another chorus of greetings before Scott spoke again. "Okay, let's run through a couple of the songs and see how we do. Everyone should know their parts. You've all done this before. All you need to do now is work together."
That description made it sound a lot easier than I thought it would be.
"Everybody take your positions," Scott continued. "Chloe and um..."
"Xander," Ethan supplied, frowning slightly.
"Xander," Scott repeated. "You stay out here with me."
"Be good," I said in a warning tone while looking at Emily and Ethan. That got them laughing and put a smile on my face as I followed the rest of the band into the sound studio.
Jason and Connor were picking up their guitars, Stacy was fiddling with his drums, and Sophie and Holly were standing at a couple of microphone stands on one side of the room. That only left one microphone stand sitting in front of the drums and between where the two guitars had been set up.
I stepped over in front of the microphone with butterflies in my stomach. Up until this point in time, it had always been about me. Everything else had been pre-recorded, and I didn't have to worry about anything but singing my part. Theoretically, that was still the case, but I had never really performed with anyone else before. We were going to need to work together if we wanted to pull off this concert.
"Start when you're ready," Scott said over the intercom into the studio. It was at that point, when the first strums of 'Intuition' came from Jason's guitar, that I realized I wasn't nearly as ready for this as the others in the room were. Every single one of them was a professional session musician. They worked in the studio every day to provide the right sound for somebody else's music. They were ready to go at a drop of the hat.
I wasn't.
I was very nervous, I was scared, and I had already missed my cue to start singing!
The music stopped.
"I'm sorry," I told everyone. They were all looking at me. "I haven't done this before."
"It's okay," Jason said from beside me. "It can be a bit intimidating at first."
"Try again," Scott said in a friendly voice. Scott had been so easy to work with over the last few weeks. He'd helped me to find the inner strength that I needed to be able to overcome the negative stigmas I had put on my voice before becoming Megan and then Sarah. The calm and friendly manner that he had shown with me helped put me at ease.
Now, he was doing it again. I looked over at where I could see him through the window between the studio and the control room, and he was smiling at me. It was exactly what I needed at the time.
"Okay," I said. "I'm ready."
This time, when the intro started from Jason's guitar, I counted myself in. I joined in with the band and started singing at the right time. It really wasn't any different than what I had done before, except I was not in the small voice booth this time. With every word I sang I felt a confidence start to build inside of me. I could do this. I could perform this concert. All I had to do was sing.
During the second chorus, one of the guitarists plucked the wrong chord. I think it was Connor, but I couldn't tell for sure. But it did throw me off balance. I missed a couple of words while I tried to get back to where the song should be. The others worked with me. They kept playing and helped me to get back on track. Even the girls were a big help. They continued their background vocals during the chorus, and I easily found my place among them and we continued the song.
As our first attempt at singing together came to a close, I felt the exhilaration start. Lately, whenever I had performed for others, I'd had an overwhelming feeling at the end of a song. It made it all worth it. I could imagine that it was the same type of feeling that an adrenaline junkie felt. It was so good, but oh so short. I needed to do it again. I needed to feel that again.
It was no different this time. My audience was the others performing with me, plus those in the control room, but it still gave me the same rush. I could also see the looks that Ethan and Emily were giving me from the control room. They looked mesmerized while we performed.
"Great work," Scott said. "That was fantastic for a first attempt. There are a few things that we can work on, but you all seemed to connect very well. Good job."
I smiled. This was really going to work. We were really going to be performing a concert!
"Good job, you guys," I said while looking at the band and the girls. They returned my smile.
"Let's try going through each song," Scott continued. "Then we can come back and work on perfecting them. Try 'Pop Princess' next."
A beat from the drums soon signaled the intro, and the rush started anew.
With food in hand, I sat down next to Emily. It was lunch time, and the band, the girls, and I all decided to eat in the cafeteria and get to know each other better. We'd made a lot of progress that morning, and my confidence level at being able to actually sing a concert had been greatly improved.
All of them were great musicians, and I couldn't figure out why they weren't already performing on stage in a band. I definitely wasn't complaining. I was very glad that they were working with me, but they all seemed to be so good at what they did.
Emily and Ethan, however, seemed to be bored. I'd warned them that studio work was really repetitive, but I knew there was no way that they would miss coming with me. Now, after hearing the band and me sing the same song over and over before moving on to the next one and doing the same thing, it had started to take its toll on them.
Dad, who had spent plenty of time in the studio not only with me, but also with other clients, handled the time a lot better. He kept working. He had plenty of things to do to keep his clients happy, and he made full use of the free wireless the studio provided and spent a lot of time on his laptop and cell phone. He'd occasionally get up and watch us through the control room window, smiling the whole time. He and Scott had decided to leave us alone for lunch.
"How did you get your break?" Sophie asked me after we had all settled around the table. I smiled back at her. All five of the people I was now working with had been friendly and kind. I couldn't have asked for a better group to join me on stage.
"These two," I said while pointing to Emily and Ethan. "Took me to one of Scott's karaoke parties and made me sing."
"She had such a good voice," Emily added. "But she would never sing for anybody. She was scared to sing."
"You were scared to sing?" Jason chuckled. I chuckled with him for a second, but I didn't know how to explain myself.
"I guess," I finally said. "I always enjoyed singing, but I didn't want people to make fun of me."
That got all of them laughing.
"I don't think that's something you needed to worry about," Holly said. "You have a beautiful voice."
"Thank you," I said with a smile. "But it didn't always feel that way."
"But it was always true," Emily added.
"So what about you guys?" I asked back. "How did you guys get started?"
"I went to a casting call where they were looking for singers," Sophie said. "I didn't get the part, but one of the people there hooked me up with this job. He said that I had a perfect voice for harmony and background vocals. Not exactly the compliment I was hoping for, but it's pretty good money."
"My story is about the same," Holly said while frowning. "Except it was my uncle who got me the job. He always said I had a nice voice, but the record label didn't quite agree."
This discussion was turning depressive; that wasn't quite what I had been hoping for.
"I'm sorry," I said to both of them.
"Don't worry about it," Holly said. "I get a lot of the perks, and I don't have to worry about the paparazzi. I'm fine with the way it worked out. You, on the other hand, are probably going to become too famous to even step outside."
I laughed at her words. The good thing was that if that ever happened to me, I could always take off the wig.
"I hope not," I replied. "What about you guys?"
The boys had been quietly listening to us while they ate.
"We've been playing together in one form or another since junior high," Jason said. "We'd been friends for years, and Stacy said we should start a band."
"So why am I not the band leader?" Stacy questioned. The other two just laughed.
"You couldn't lead a horse to water!" Connor quipped. Stacy just nodded his head in agreement, causing the rest of us to laugh along with them.
"How did you get the name 'Pop Fly'?" Emily asked.
"We've had about five different names," Jason said.
"Six," Connor corrected.
"Six," Jason amended. "Anyway, we seem to be doing a lot of pop work lately, like your songs. Connor is a big baseball fan, and we kinda came up with the name one night while we were watching a game at his house. It stuck."
"Did you ever want to make your own band?" Ethan inquired.
"Of course," Jason replied. "But none of us can sing very well, and we never found someone who could."
"Until now," Stacy corrected. "After this morning, I'd be happy to be your drummer, Sarah."
I chuckled at his enthusiasm. "So you like the idea of becoming my regular band?"
"Is that on offer?" Jason asked with a look of surprise. Sophie and Holly seemed surprised too. "I thought that we were only filling in for the weekend, and they would be finding someone else to take our place."
"Oh," I said, worried I had said too much. "Scott seemed to think we would only be looking for someone else if you guys didn't do very well on stage, or if we didn't get along or something. But after this morning, I doubt that will be the case."
"Are you saying that you would like us to continue?" Stacy asked for clarification.
I thought about it for a second, but I knew the answer already. "Yes, I would. You're the best band I've ever worked with."
That got them all laughing again, because they all knew I hadn't worked with anyone else.
"I'm exhausted," I said as I flopped down on the loveseat in Sarah's room later that night. "That was a lot of singing, and I don't think I've fully recovered yet from yesterday."
Emily sat down on the larger couch, and Ethan took a seat on the other end.
"Yeah, I thought you guys were never going to stop," Emily said. I laughed lightly.
"I warned you that it was repetitive," I replied. "But you didn't listen."
"Oh, I listened," she said sternly. "But there was no way you were going to keep me away from going with you."
I laughed louder this time. I wouldn't have expected any other answer from her. "Does that mean you aren't coming with me tomorrow?"
"You know I wouldn't miss tomorrow if my life depended on it," she said while laughing along with me. "At least in the morning."
"What's happening tomorrow morning?" Ethan asked with curiosity. I hadn't invited him to come with me to see Julia, because I was pretty sure that he wouldn't want to come.
"I have an appointment with Julia to figure out what I'm going to wear at the concert," I explained. "Do you want to come?"
"No!" he said immediately. "Leave me out of the clothes stuff. That's for you girls."
"Alright," I said. "If that's what you want."
He laughed at that. "It is what I want. I've seen you two shop, and it isn't any fun. Heck, I hated shopping with you even before you became Megan. You haven't really changed all that much."
"Really?" I pondered. That didn't seem right to me.
"Well, maybe you're a tad bit more enthusiastic about it now," he said, causing Emily and me to laugh.
"Okay, what about the practice session? Do you guys want to come to that?" I asked. They both stopped chuckling and looked somber. I could guess their answer.
"It's okay," I replied smiling. "There will be better things to go to in the future."
"I'm sorry, Megan," Emily said. "I didn't realize that it would be so boring."
I laughed. "It's a lot like having a job," I told her.
"That's because it is a job!" she replied while chuckling.
"I guess you're right," I replied, still laughing along with her. "But it's a really fun job."
"For you!" Ethan added, causing us to laugh some more. I really must have been tired. Everything seemed so funny to me.
"I love you guys," I told them. "You're the best friends a girl could have."
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"I'm scared, Mom," I told her while we sat in the waiting room of Dr. Holbrook's office Friday morning.
"It'll be okay, Megan," she said and pulled me closer. I laid my head on her shoulder and felt comforted by her presence. "We'll get through whatever happens, I promise." Sarah Carerra
Chapter 34 - It's What's on the Inside That Matters by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: May 10, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 34 - It's What's on the Inside That Matters
"I'm scared, Mom," I told her while we sat in the waiting room of Dr. Holbrook's office Friday morning.
"It'll be okay, Megan," she said and pulled me closer. I laid my head on her shoulder and felt comforted by her presence. "We'll get through whatever happens, I promise."
We sat like that for a few minutes before Dr. Holbrook appeared.
"Good morning, Megan," she said with a smile. It was hard for me to find a smile to return. "How are you?"
"Honestly," I sighed. "I'm really scared."
Dr. Holbrook's smile widened before she spoke again. "Well, there's nothing to be worried about, I promise. Would the two of you like to come back to my office and we can talk about it?"
Mom and I stood up, and we followed Dr. Holbrook into her office. It was well-appointed, and we took a seat in two comfortable chairs in front of her desk while she walked around and took a seat on the opposite side.
"Before we start," the doctor said. "I want to make sure that you know that there is nothing wrong with you. There are some medical concerns that we will need to address, but you are a healthy young woman. Okay?"
I nodded, but I was still scared of what she was going to tell me.
"Alright," she said. "First, I want you to call me Jenny. We are going to be discussing some personal things this morning, and I want you to know that I will be here to help you through them. Okay?"
I nodded again. Her words weren't making me feel any better. In fact, I was becoming even more nervous.
"Okay," Jenny continued. "I have the results of the tests we did last Friday, and the results of the ultrasound. What do the two of you know about intersex conditions?"
"Isn't that where a person has both male and female parts?" Mom asked.
"Yes," the doctor replied. "Intersex encompasses a large spectrum of things that are seen in the human body. But today we are going to be talking about a specific type of intersex condition."
"So Megan is intersexed?" Mom asked.
"Yes," Jenny replied. "Megan has what we call pseudohermaphroditism. Have you ever heard that term before?"
Both Mom and I shook our heads. I'd heard hermaphrodite before, and I always thought that it was degrading. I didn't really like the sound of having it, whatever “having it” meant.
"Pseudohermaphroditism basically describes a person who is born with characteristics or traits that we would not expect to see in someone with their type of gonads, or testes in men and ovaries in women. Understand?"
Mom nodded, but I was still confused. I shook my head. The doctor smiled at me.
"What it means for you specifically, Megan," she said. "Is that you were born with genitals that do not match your chromosomes."
"Are you saying Megan is a girl?!" my mom asked in surprise. I still wasn't totally sure what they were talking about.
"Yes," the doctor replied. "One of the tests we did on her blood confirmed that Megan is genetically XX."
"Wait, what?" I interrupted, I knew what XX meant. "What do you mean?"
I was asking the doctor, but it was Mom who took my hand in hers and looked me in the eyes.
"Honey," she said with tears in her eyes. "It means that you really are my little girl. You always have been."
"I'm a girl?" It seemed unreal. I couldn't possibly be a girl! I had a penis!
"Yes, Megan," the doctor said with a smile. "You are."
"But, I have a..." I started, but I could no longer say the word.
"I know," Jenny said. "But you most likely did not have the testes to go with it. We will never know for sure because of the accident."
She then picked up a folder and placed it in front of us before opening the top flap. Inside were four pictures that had been taken during the ultrasound. She spread the photos out across her desk, and then pointed at a blob on the first picture.
"This is your left ovary," she told me before pointing to another blob on the second photo. "This is your right ovary."
She then pointed to the third photo, which had a much bigger blob on it. "And this is your uterus."
I stared at the photos. I'd taken health classes at school. But I never in my life thought that I would be learning about my own internal reproductive organs like this! I didn't even think I had internal reproductive organs!
I turned to Mom. She was still staring at me with the same love she had shown me over the last few weeks. A love I was starting to recognize as the type of love that can only be shared by a mother and daughter.
"Mom?" I asked. I wasn't really sure what I was asking, but she did the only thing I wanted her to do. She wrapped me in a hug.
"Congratulations, honey," she whispered in my ear. "I know this is what you want, and I'm glad that you are my daughter. Never forget that."
I started to cry. I wasn’t sure if they were tears of joy at my new lot in life, tears of sadness at what I had lost, or tears of relief at the stress that had finally been lifted. All I knew for sure was that Mom was there for me, and she would always be there when I needed her.
Eventually, I was able to get myself under control. I was happy. After all the emotions that I had just felt, happiness was what I came away with.
"There are some complications we are going to need to deal with," Jenny said once we were ready to continue. She then moved the fourth ultrasound picture in front of us and pointed at two lines in the middle. "This is your vagina."
I was stunned again. I had a vagina?
"Obviously," she continued. "It is blocked from the outside. That is going to be a problem soon."
"Why?" Mom asked in a worried tone.
"Megan, you said your breasts started developing about a year ago, correct?" the doctor asked me. I nodded, still not quite capable of speech. "Most girls start developing much earlier than you did, but starting puberty at 15 is not unheard of. However, about this time in a girl's development, certain things start happening that will be problematic if we don't take care of your medical condition."
"You mean her period?" Mom asked bluntly. My period? I could have a period?
"Yes," the doctor continued before I could fully comprehend her latest revelation. "Without a way for the flow to exit her body, complications can arise. I would recommend that we try to schedule some corrective surgery quickly, before her first period starts."
"I see," Mom said, but she sounded slightly reluctant.
"You don't agree?" the doctor asked, hearing the reluctance in Mom's voice.
"No, I agree fully with you," Mom explained. "What kind of recovery time would we be talking about?"
"I can't say for sure," the doctor said. "But for Megan it will involve much of what would be done during a sex reassignment surgery, minus creating a neovagina. I would expect she'd probably be in bed for most of a week if not longer, and she probably shouldn't be doing anything strenuous for two or three weeks after that."
Mom sighed. I knew what was worrying her. The next few months were going to be a whirlwind in Sarah's life. Sidelining me for three or four weeks would not be beneficial for my career. But the need for the surgery to be done was apparent to everyone in the room.
"Is that a problem?" the doctor asked. It was obvious that she hadn't expected reluctance in the need to have the surgery.
"I don't know," Mom said. "The next few months are going to be a busy time in her life. Trying to schedule time for surgery could be problematic."
"I must emphasize the need for Megan to have this surgery," the doctor warned. "There are too many health problems that can occur if she doesn't."
"I know," Mom replied. "I'm not questioning the need. But there are other concerns involved that need to be considered."
"Like what?" Jenny asked. It was obvious that she didn't believe anything should prevent the surgery from happening.
"Tell her, Mom," I finally spoke after Mom looked torn between telling my doctor the truth and keeping Sarah a secret. I was going to need a doctor who could help me through this, and he or she needed to be aware of who I was. It might as well be Jenny. Mom looked at me, nodded, and then reached for her purse. She pulled out a stack of papers that I immediately recognized.
"This is a non-disclosure agreement," Mom said while passing the papers over to my doctor. "I can't talk about it unless you sign this."
Jenny was clearly surprised, but she took the papers and started reading through them. We sat there for a few minutes until she looked up at us.
"Okay," she said. "Against my better judgment to sign this without having my attorney read through it first, I'm going to trust you."
She picked up a pen and signed the document before handing it back to my mom. Mom then turned toward me. I knew what she wanted me to do.
"I'm Sarah Carerra," I told the doctor.
"I see," the doctor said after a short pause. Her calm tone was belied by the surprised look that filled her face.
"Then you can understand why scheduling the surgery may be tough," Mom said. "We'll need to figure out a time to do this, but we're going to have to involve the record label in this decision. We can't make it completely alone because of her contract."
"Okay," Dr. Holbrook replied. "Just as long as we can get it done soon. I don't want to risk her having a period with no way to menstruate properly."
"I know, Jenny," Mom agreed. "If it was my decision, we'd schedule the surgery as soon as possible. But I know she has a few things scheduled over the next couple of weeks. We'll have to figure out a good time for this."
What was scheduled? Nobody had told me about anything after the concert. I was about to ask my mom before the doctor spoke again.
"I understand," Jenny said. She picked up a couple of business cards and handed them to my mom. "This is the name of a surgeon who can perform the surgery. He's local, and he's flexible in his hours. He also promised that he would try to get you in as soon as possible. When you know more, give him a call. I've also included my cell number on the other card. Call me if you have any questions."
She then turned to me.
"Megan," she said with a smile. "I'm here to help. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you, okay?"
"Thank you," I smiled back, but I was still in shock. "I will."
"Hi, girls," Dad said when we walked in the door back at home. "Hurry and get ready, Megan, we have to leave soon if we're going to make it to your appointment with Julia on time."
"Okay," I said and took a step toward the hall.
"Megan," Mom stopped me. "Don't you have something that you want to tell your father?"
The answer was yes and no. Dad had been really good about my change, but I knew that he was still getting used to it. I wasn't sure how he would handle the knowledge that I really was a girl.
I stopped and turned back toward where he was standing.
"I, uh," I started. I wasn't sure how to tell him. "I love you, Daddy," I said instead.
"Megan," Mom said with mirth in her voice. "You have to tell him eventually."
"I know," I said. "But it's kind of embarrassing."
Mom laughed outright at those words.
"Oh, honey," she said. "You really are a girl."
She then turned to Dad. I knew that she was going to tell him if I didn't, and that was fine by me. At least the words wouldn't be mine.
"What did the doctor say?" Dad asked. He looked worried now, but our good spirits seemed to indicate that nothing was wrong.
"Megan is our little girl, Don," she said with a smile. "She's biologically our little girl."
"You mean..." He said, but he couldn't finish his question.
"Yes, Don," Mom continued. "With everything that entails."
Dad looked...well, he looked speechless.
"Go get ready, Megan," Mom said. "I'll tell him the details."
"Okay," I said and turned to walk down the hall again. I was happy to let my mom do the hard part. I definitely didn't want to be there when he heard the details of my anatomy.
"Emily!" I squealed when Chloe entered my room, or Sarah's room, a few minutes later. I wrapped her in a huge hug.
"You're in a good mood," she mentioned. "What's up with you?"
"I'm a girl!" I nearly screamed in delight.
"Well duh," she said, not fully understanding what I meant. "I thought we had already figured that out."
"Yes!" I exclaimed. "But it's more than that! I really am a girl! I'm double X. I have ovaries, a uterus, I even have a vagina!"
"What?" she questioned skeptically. She had seen me in the locker room two days ago, and it had been pretty clear then what was between my legs.
"I'm biologically female," I explained again. "My doctor wants me to have surgery to fix things down there before I have my first period!"
"Period?" she looked really confused now. "Megan, what are you talking about?"
I sighed in frustration. I wasn't sure how to make it any clearer.
"I'm female," I tried again. I then pointed to my head. "And not just up here, I'm female everywhere, except for the abnormality between my legs."
"You're a real girl?" she asked with a bit less skepticism.
"Yes!" I screamed at her. "I'm a real girl! From birth!"
"Wow!" she exclaimed and slowly sank down onto the couch. "That isn't quite what I expected when I came over this morning."
I laughed. "You didn't expect it? What about me?"
She laughed with me. "I guess that must have been a bit of a shock."
"You think?" I said, continuing to laugh.
"Megan?" Mom asked from my door. "Is everything alright in here?"
"Yes, Mom," I replied. "I was just telling Emily what the doctor said."
"Okay," she said. "But hurry and finish getting ready. Your dad wants to leave."
"Alright," I said and turned back to the armoire. I picked up my wig and started pinning it in place.
"This explains a lot, you know," Emily said from behind me as I finished messing with the wig and started on my makeup. Sarah's makeup was different than Megan's. They could be interchanged, but if I knew I was going out as Sarah, my makeup was often done more dramatically.
"About what?" I asked while lining my eyes.
"Like how easy you've fallen into being a girl. I mean, it's only been three weeks and you're applying makeup like you've been doing it as long as I have!"
I smiled. I had become quite proficient at doing my own makeup. Since I had to apply it more than once a day to become Sarah, it certainly became easier.
"But it's not just the makeup," she continued. "There's been something different about you since we were little...girls."
We giggled at that comment for a moment before I pulled out my mascara.
"I never knew what it was," she said with a smile that I could see in the mirror. "But I understand it now. I can't believe that we didn't see it sooner. Megan has always been right there in front of me."
I guess I could have felt saddened by that knowledge, but I didn’t. She was right. Megan had always been there, and I was glad that she had been.
I capped my mascara and stood up.
"I love you, Emily," I said while I turned toward her. She smiled and we embraced in a long hug.
"I love you too, Megan."
A few minutes later Emily and I walked into the front room. Dad and Austin were there, and they looked slightly ill. Apparently Mom had filled them in on what was going on with me.
Austin stood up from where he had been sitting on the couch and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me in a hug.
It was weird. In all the time that I'd known the little bugger, we'd never really had a very good relationship. But the last three weeks had changed things. I think I was closer to Austin now than I had ever been in my life. I had no choice. I had to wrap my arms around him in return.
"Are you really a girl now?" he asked me.
"I guess I always have been," I replied. "But yes, I am."
"Does that mean you're going to get all crazy once a month like Mom now?" he asked in sincerity. I heard Mom choke, and I laughed.
"I'll do my best not to, okay?" I told him with a smile. He nodded, and he seemed to look better than he had when I walked into the room. "You're the best little brother a girl could ask for."
I then kissed him on the cheek. It was something I never would have done as Brett, but it felt like the right thing to do as Megan. He looked embarrassed by it, but he smiled back at me.
"I love you," I told him.
"I love you too," he replied. Still red with embarrassment, he walked back over to the couch and sat down.
Dad stood up next. He smiled at me while he stepped closer.
"Megan," he said before he did something I had rarely ever seen him do. It started as one tear, slowly rolling down his right cheek, but soon he was tearing up as much as I was. Instead of words, he wrapped me in his arms just like Austin had done. I had no choice but to wrap my arms around him too. I had the best family in the world.
This time I held him until he had collected himself. He then kissed me on the forehead.
"Megan," he said again. "I always wanted a daughter. I was happy with you and your brother, but the last three weeks...I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. Whether you are my son or my daughter, you are my child and I will always love you."
Now he had me crying even harder. It wasn't even ten in the morning, and it had already been one of the best days of my life.
It took us a few minutes, but we finally managed to collect ourselves again.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked me.
"No!" I complained. "Now I have to redo my makeup!"
The rest of them broke out in laughter.
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I'd been dressed up in a lot of amazing looking clothes since my debut as Sarah, but nothing quite like this. It was obvious to me that these were stage clothes. I'd get some odd looks if I wore them walking down the street, but these clothes would rock on stage.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 35 - Image is Everything by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: May 17, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 35 - Image is Everything
We were late, but we finally arrived at the lobby of Aphrodite Image Consulting at about 10:15. Julia was standing there, waiting for us.
"Morning, Julia," Dad said happily.
"Morning, Don," Julia replied. I was afraid that she would be upset about us being late, but she didn't appear to be. Instead, she came over and gave me a small welcoming hug. It was unexpected, but it hinted at a friendship that I hadn't realized had formed between the two of us.
"I'm sorry," I told her after she had let me go. "I had a doctor's appointment this morning, and it ran late."
"It was my fault," Dad added. "I should have pushed this appointment back a bit when I found out she was going to the doctor this morning."
"That's not a problem," Julia said with a smile. "It's going to be a slow day today. I have plenty of time for my number one client."
I laughed lightly. I wasn't sure I believed her, but the sentiment was appreciated.
"This is Chloe," I said while turning toward Emily. "I think you met her a couple of weeks ago when you came by the house?"
"Oh, yes," Julia said warmly, but I still got the impression that she didn't remember Emily at all. I didn't blame her for that, because she probably had lots of clients. "It's good to see you again."
She gave Emily a quick welcoming hug too before turning to my dad. I was afraid she was going to hug him also, which wouldn't bode well for my relationship with her, but she spoke instead.
"You're welcome to join us, Don, if you can handle the stash." Her wide grin had my dad feeling uncomfortable almost immediately.
"I, uh…" he stammered. "I would like to see what you have planned."
"Okay," she said. "If you will all follow me, we can get started."
We followed Julia down the hall to the double doors that led into the stash. She pushed them open and I followed her inside.
I heard Emily gasp behind me. "Whoa," also escaped her lips a moment later. I knew what she meant. All those clothes in one room was an impressive display for any girl. A glance at Dad proved that it wasn't a universal feeling across the genders.
"Amazing, huh?" Julia said, addressing Emily this time. Emily could only nod in wonder as her eyes continued to dart around the room.
Julia led us over to a small, clear section that had two sheets draped over what appeared to be two human shaped blobs.
"I've got two different ideas for you," Julia said while stepping up to one of the sheet-covered mannequins. "If you don't like either of these, we can look around the stash for other ideas. We'll find you something that works."
"Great!" I said. I was sure the excitement in my voice was apparent to everyone in the room. I couldn't wait to see what she would suggest.
Julia promptly pulled the sheet off the first mannequin. Underneath was something that I immediately fell in love with. It was a light pink dress, and it was sparkling. The dress was cut tight, hugging the curves that the mannequin showed. It also showed more cleavage than I would have liked, or felt comfortable showing, but it was still decent for a girl my age. It didn't look obscene in any way, just provided a hint of what I had to offer. The dress also had spaghetti straps, leaving the shoulders bare. That was something I had yet to experience, and I was concerned with how much skin would be on display.
The bottom of the dress was just as interesting. The hem of the skirt fell below the left knee, but was raised to a couple of inches above the right knee. The asymmetrical design seemed to catch the eye, and the sparkles danced around in my vision. The mannequin also had on a silver pendant of some sort, a silver bracelet, and a pair of heels that matched the dress were sitting next to it.
"It's beautiful!" I said almost immediately. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to wear it!
"You're going to make me jealous," was Emily's awed response to my own description of the dress. Dad grimaced. I could see him trying to imagine me in that dress, and I was certain that it made him uncomfortable.
"This is Option 1," Julia said once she was able to determine that we would be able to hear her description, even if we weren't looking at her. "The dress is sophisticated and glamorous. It shouldn't be too sexy, thus keeping the moms happy, but it should give a glimpse of the seductive side of Sarah Carerra."
She then stepped over to the other mannequin, and I had to pull my eyes away from the dress.
"This is Option 2," she said before pulling the sheet off the second mannequin. This mannequin was dressed completely different.
The second mannequin was wearing a pair of light blue jeans. The left knee was partially destroyed, and they looked distressed in a couple of other places. They also sparkled. A number of sequins had been attached to the jeans in random places that caused the sparkles when they caught the light.
The jeans were paired with a white tank top. Sequins also dotted the tank top. There were quite a few of them around the neckline, but fewer and fewer the further down your eyes traveled. From a short distance, you could barely see the sequins. From the audience, my guess was that the jeans and tank would look like any normal clothes a girl my age might wear, but the glittering would add the glam that Julia was always adamant about having.
A pair of white tennis shoes sat next to the mannequin. A couple of small bracelets and a watch adorned the wrists, and draped around the neck was a necklace in the shape of a star. It too was glittering in the light.
I made my decision immediately. The dress was beautiful, but the jeans and tank seemed so normal, yet so glamorous. And they looked a lot more comfortable to wear! I was drawn to them in a way that the dress couldn't compete with.
"Option 2," I blurted before I had even realized that I had firmly made my decision. The smile on Julia's face seemed to indicate I had made the right decision, the relieved look on Dad's face made me chuckle, and the frown on Emily's face indicated she'd rather see me in the dress.
"But Megan," Emily whined. Then she caught herself and realized what she had said. "Sarah! I mean Sarah!"
I laughed outright. This was the first time that Emily had ever accidently called me ‘Megan’ while I was dressed as Sarah. She'd had a whole week to slip up, and hadn't done it once. I was just happy that Julia knew the truth and there was nobody else in the room. Dad, on the other hand, looked really upset.
"Sorry," she said apologetically. I smiled to let her know it wasn't a problem, and her face brightened a bit. "But you really should wear the dress. It's beautiful!"
"I agree," I told her. "But there's something about the jeans and tank that just feels right."
I wasn't sure how to describe it to her, but Julia seemed to understand what I was saying. Her nod seemed to indicate she understood.
"Let's try them on," Julia said and started to undress the mannequin. It didn't take her long to strip the clothes and she was soon pushing me into one of the changing rooms.
As I changed I discovered that a white belt with silver studs on it was included with the jeans, but stayed hidden under the tank top. Once I had the tank and jeans on, I fastened the belt, slipped on the shoes, and stepped outside to get the accessories.
"Wow," Emily said immediately. "Okay, I was wrong."
"What?" I had to ask. She wasn't making any sense.
"You were right," she explained. "You look amazing in those. I don't think the dress would compare anymore."
I slipped on the necklace, wrapped the watch around my wrist, and donned the bracelets before turning toward the mirror.
Emily was right. I did look amazing.
I'd been dressed up in a lot of amazing looking clothes since my debut as Sarah, but nothing quite like this. It was obvious to me that these were stage clothes. I'd get some odd looks if I wore them walking down the street, but these clothes would rock on stage.
I think it was the sparkles. The clothes looked so normal...until I moved. Every time I moved, a shimmer of sparkles would rush across my body as the sequins caught the light. It wasn't anything overwhelming, but it was enough to catch your eye in wonder.
"Try this on," Julia broke my reverie. She was holding a denim vest the same color as the jeans out for me to slip my arms into. Once I had it on I turned back to the mirror for a glimpse before turning back toward her for her opinion.
"No," she said. "I didn't think so."
I turned back toward the mirror, and agreed. The vest looked nice, but it diminished the look somehow. I think it was because people don't often wear vests, and it made the outfit look less normal. She helped me take it off again, and I stared into the mirror once more.
"Do you want to try on the dress?" Julia asked, but I think she already knew the answer.
"No," was my reply. "But wrap it up, I'll take it too."
The choke that my dad emitted was enough to let me know that he thought I was spending too much money.
We decided to stop and get some lunch before making our way over to the studio for the afternoon's recording session. Emily was unhappy to learn that we couldn’t get her home and still make it to the studio on time, and she had resigned herself to joining us. I hoped it would be more fun for her today.
Dad pulled into the parking lot of Granny's Diner. Despite the name, it was actually a pretty upscale restaurant that my family often frequented when we wanted to eat some good food without going to a high end restaurant. It was clean, the service was good, and the food was amazing.
As we stood at the entrance waiting to be seated, I realized something that I was going to have to start getting used to.
People were staring at me.
I could see confusion in some of the faces that I scanned, and I realized that the patrons of the diner had obviously seen my image somewhere, but they couldn't quite place who I was or where they'd seen me.
I was okay with that. I didn't think I was ready to be mobbed by fans. Having them still keep their distance was a good thing. But I knew it wouldn’t be long until I was recognized in public with the way my image was plastered everywhere.
"Three?" a waitress asked as she approached the hostess booth we were standing next to. Dad nodded and she grabbed three menus before leading us toward a booth along one wall, away from the rest of the people in the restaurant.
"Will this be okay?" she asked.
"This will be great," Dad told her and I was able to slip into one side of the booth before Emily, cutting me off from anyone who might figure out who I was and want to come over. Emily slid in next to me and my dad slipped into the other side of the booth.
"It won't be long now," Dad said after the waitress had taken our drink orders and we were alone.
"'Til what?" Emily asked. She apparently hadn't seen the looks that we were getting.
"'Til they start mobbing me in public," I sighed. "I saw it with Josh when we went out to dinner, but I don't think I'm ready for it to happen to me."
"Most celebrities never are," Dad said with a grimace. He knew more than I did about what to expect, and his reaction did not instill me with confidence about my future.
"At least I'll be able to turn it off," I replied.
"Amen to that," Emily said. She was looking around the restaurant, and she was seeing the stares for the first time. She looked uncomfortable.
The waitress returned with our drinks, and she kept glancing at me as she took our lunch orders. Like the others, it appeared that she was trying to figure out who I was. Eventually she left us alone while she placed our orders with the kitchen.
"Do you have a signature ready?" Dad asked me. We had talked the other day about coming up with a signature that I could easily scribble quickly, but still resembled my name. It had taken some work, but I had finally come up with something that I liked.
"Yeah," I said, and then took the pen he had proffered, along with a piece of paper he pulled out of his day planner. With soft, feminine strokes I signed my autograph on his paper so he could see it. Perhaps it took me longer than it should to write, but at least someone could read it. I always hated seeing a signature from a celebrity, and not knowing whose it was.
"Ooh," Emily said when she saw it. "You're going to have to sign one of my posters now."
"You bought posters?" I asked incredulously.
"Well yeah," she said like I had just asked a dumb question. "Once I found out who you were, it seemed like the prudent thing to do."
"I'd like you to sign the posters we'll hang in your room too," Dad interrupted. "Now that you have a signature."
"Okay," I agreed.
"I also need you to sign these," Dad said before producing an envelope and handing it to me.
I took the envelope from him with a confused look, and opened it. Inside were two debit cards. One had my name, Megan Campbell, on it. The other had Sarah's name.
"What are these?" I asked excitedly. Was he finally giving me access to my own money?
"These are debit cards for your trust account," he said. You can use either card, depending on how you are dressed, but they share a withdrawal limit of $500 per month."
500 dollars? That was it? Sure, it was a lot of money, but I knew I was making a lot more than that. Dad seemed to understand the look that must have crossed my face, because he chuckled slightly before speaking again.
"It's a start, Sarah," he said. "If you prove you can be responsible with this amount, we'll raise your limit, okay?"
That brightened my day. "Okay," I agreed with a smile. I guess I could see it from his side; he wouldn't want me to blow it all on clothes or something like that. I'd have to think about my earnings for a while to appreciate what they meant before I'd get to spend them.
I picked up the pen and carefully signed both cards. Then I pulled my wallet out of my purse and placed the cards into the previously unused slots next to my license. I also mentally thanked him for getting two different designs on the cards to help me tell them apart easily. It would be really bad if I tried to use the Sarah card while dressed as Megan, and a lot worse if I used the Megan card while dressed as Sarah.
"We also need to go down and get you a new license," he continued. "I talked with a friend of mine and he said he would help us keep it discreet."
"Okay," I said excitedly. It would be nice to have real identification, instead of a license that still said Brett on it. While Dad had changed my name, we still hadn't gone down to update my license.
"We'll go down and see him on Monday," Dad explained. "You should be fine without it until then. My friend also said he'd be able to get your other documents updated. Dr. Holbrook provided me with a letter that will allow us to change both your birth certificate and your driver’s license to include your new name and gender, since you are legally female. We just need to make it official. My friend will also help us get some identification for Sarah, since she is a legal alias of Megan."
"Wow!" I said. I hadn't realized that I legally should be female, but it did make sense. I'd probably pass most gender tests thrown at me if someone looked at my medical history and tried to determine if I was female, but the realization that it was true had never occurred to me before.
The waitress returned with our food at that moment, interrupting any further talk on the subject. Instead, we all dug into our delicious meals and talked about more mundane stuff. I was excited about the prospect of legally becoming female, but the thought of undergoing surgery to make my body match my legal identity was still a scary proposition. I knew I needed it, and I even wanted it, but it still scared me.
When we were done eating and the waitress brought the bill, I was able to snatch it up before my dad could. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow, but I just smiled back at him.
"They want to know who I am, anyway," I said with a laugh as I wrote a large tip amount onto the receipt and handed it back to the waitress with my new debit card. She just chuckled at my statement, obviously realizing that her looks, and those of the other patrons, hadn't been as discreet as she thought.
She left to run the card, but returned to our table quickly.
"Thank you for coming in, Ms. Carerra," she said, smiling broadly as she handed the card and my receipt back to me. "We don't see many celebrities in here, and it's nice to have some notoriety with the other patrons."
I laughed lightly at her words, but smiled back. "I've been coming here with my family for years," I told her. "I'm not going to stop just because I've sung a few songs."
She laughed with me for a moment before speaking again. "Well, it was nice to meet you, anyway. Come back anytime."
She walked back toward the counter while Dad, Emily, and I stood up and headed for the door. As we approached, the waitress looked up with another smile.
"Thank you for coming in, Sarah Carerra," she said loud enough for all the patrons to hear. She obviously was letting everyone else know who I was at the same time she was building notoriety for her restaurant as a place that celebrities came.
I smiled back, and waved to everyone in the place before stepping through the door to the outside.
"That's a wrap!" Scott said over the intercom into the recording studio later that evening. "I think we're about as ready as we can be for tomorrow. Thank you, everyone."
I returned the smile that he was beaming in through the window to the control room before turning to the other people in the studio.
"Thanks, everybody," I said. "I couldn't do this without you guys. We're going to rock."
"It's our pleasure," Jason said from where he was starting to break down his guitar equipment. "Without you, we'd be stuck in the studio forever."
I laughed at his lame joke. I was sure they would have found their break with someone if I hadn't come along. There was even still a chance that they could leave me.
"Good work, everybody," Scott said after stepping into the studio. "The bus will be here at nine, so you have a few hours of free time."
"Bus?" I asked. I hadn't heard anything about a bus.
Stacy chuckled from behind me. "Only the star of the show travels first class, Sarah," he said. "The rest of us are traveling by bus."
"Oh," I replied. I hadn't thought about how they were going to get to Salt Lake City. "I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it," Jason said with his own chuckle. "We've done it before, I'm sure we'll do it again. It isn't all that bad, really. We can sleep the whole way and wake up rested in the morning."
The other guys were nodding at Jason's description, but the girls looked less than pleased at the prospect of spending the night on a bus.
"I'm sorry," I repeated, this time to the girls. They both gave me little smiles, but I could tell they were disappointed.
"They'll be well taken care of, Sarah," Scott interrupted. "I promise."
Scott had never lied to me, and he looked sincere, but I still felt bad for the girls.
"Ready to go?" Dad interrupted my thoughts. I looked around the room. Everybody was packing up their things, and nobody looked too upset about their travel arrangements. The girls might not be happy with it, but they weren't that upset either.
"Yeah," I agreed. "I guess so."
I turned back to the band. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."
"Bye, Sarah," Sophie said, followed by a number of farewells from the other people in the room.
"Bye, Sarah," Scott said as I turned back toward him and my dad. He then surprised me by giving me a hug. I would have been freaked out if it was anything other than the quick friendly hug he gave me. "I wish I could be there tomorrow. You're an amazing singer, and I'm glad that I have the opportunity to work with you."
"Thank you, Scott," I replied smiling. "I couldn't have done this without you."
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Mary looked shocked again. I don't think I had ever seen her this flustered in one of our sessions before. She eventually saw my grin, and started laughing outright. It wasn't long before I had joined her.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 36 - Mary in the Morning by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: May 24, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 36 - Mary in the Morning
"Do you want to stay for dinner?" I asked Emily as Dad pulled into our driveway. She seemed to be in better spirits after today's studio session than she had been after the all day marathon of yesterday.
"I can't," she told me. "Mom wanted me to come home for dinner. I think she has somebody coming over and wants the family to eat together."
"Okay," I told her. Dad pulled into the garage and stopped the car. We got out and she came over and gave me a friendly hug goodbye.
"I'm going to miss you this weekend," I told her after the embrace. "It won't be the same without you and Ethan there."
"I know," she said with a smile. I knew she didn't feel the smile; she was just putting on a happy front. She had to be disappointed inside. "Don't worry about it. We'll get to see you perform soon enough, I'm sure."
"Still, I wish you could be there," I replied.
"I know," she said. "And that means all the difference in the world. You have fun tomorrow and show them what you've got, okay?"
"Okay," I agreed. "I will."
"Good," she said before turning and walking toward her house. She looked back and waved before she was out of our garage and then turned out of sight. I stood there with Dad, who smiled when I turned toward him and the door into the house.
"Come on, Princess," he said smiling. "It'll work out, I promise. We'll get them to a show soon."
"Will I have another show?" I asked him as we entered the house.
"Of course, Megan," he replied. "Scott is already trying to line up a mini-tour for you this summer. If your concert goes well tomorrow, you could be in big demand."
"Really?" I asked incredulously. I seemed to be getting too popular too fast, in my opinion.
"Really," Dad confirmed. "We'll give you time to have your surgery, and then it will be a whirlwind after that. But I think you're up to it."
The smile he was beaming at me helped to outweigh the fear of surgery he had also instilled in me. I knew that I would be okay with someone like him watching over me.
"Thank you, Dad," I told him while wrapping him in a big hug. I loved him so much.
"You're welcome, Princess," he replied, wrapping his arms around me too.
The rest of the evening was exactly what I needed. The whole family stayed home, and we ate dinner together, played a few games, and I even played a couple of songs for them on my guitar.
I had the best family in the world, and that night was so peaceful and relaxing I fell asleep without a worry in my mind about the concert.
The following morning was hectic. The peace from the evening before was quickly replaced with mayhem as I prepared to make my transformation into Sarah outside of the house for the first time.
I couldn't show up as Sarah at Mary's office this morning, but I also couldn't show up at the airport as Megan because Josh would be there. Therefore, I was going to have to become Sarah between the two, since we were going straight from Mary's to the airport.
Dad was also taking me to Mary's. It was the first time he had taken me in about two years. Mom had always been there with me. Dad had come occasionally when Mary wanted to talk to both of my parents, but left us on our own for most visits.
"Are you almost ready?" Dad asked me from the door to Sarah's room.
"Almost," I replied from the vanity. "I just need to finish my makeup."
"I'll be in the front room when you're finished," he said and disappeared from the door. I turned back to finishing my lip gloss before standing up and stepping in front of the full length mirror.
It was kind of weird to see my image in the mirror. I was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a white cami covered by a vibrant blue top. Seeing me, Megan, in Sarah's clothes was odd, but even more odd was how made up I looked. I'd seen Sarah's makeup almost every day, but seeing it on me was a different experience altogether. It didn't look bad, but I looked a lot more glamorous than how I normally looked. It wouldn't take much more for me to be ready for a dance.
With a quick smile to myself I turned back to the couch, picked up the small bag that held my glam for today's outfit and headed out of the room. I had already packed my small suitcase containing the stage outfit and a couple of other outfits to last me until the flight home tomorrow.
"I'm ready," I said walking into the front room. My whole family was there.
"You're beautiful!" Austin nearly yelled, causing me to laugh lightly at his reaction.
"Thanks for noticing," I quipped. He blushed in embarrassment.
"You do look beautiful," Mom said as she stepped closer and gave me a hug. "Good luck tonight. We'll see you after the concert."
Before last Friday, Dad was stupid enough to think that Mom and Austin shouldn't be at the concert. After yelling at him about how stupid he was being, he had relented and bought them plane tickets. Unfortunately, the flight we were on was sold out, and he had to book them on a later flight. The end result was that Mom and Austin would arrive with only enough time to make it to the venue. I wouldn't get to see them again before I was on stage.
"Thanks, Mom," I replied as she let me go. "I'm glad you'll be there."
She smiled and I followed Dad out to his car, and we were soon on our way.
"Good morning, Megan," Mary said later that morning. "Don, it's nice to see you again."
"Morning, Mary," I said while standing up and dropping the issue of Cosmo I had been reading back on the stack of magazines in her waiting room.
"Morning," Dad also supplied.
"Come on back," Mary said and led me to her familiar office where I took my regular place on her sofa. Once she was seated, she spoke again.
"You look very good this morning," she said. I think it was more of a query for information than it was an insight.
"This is Sarah," I explained. "Her makeup is more dramatic. I'm going straight to the airport after this, and I won't have time to change. Add the wig and some glam, and I'll be set to go."
"That's right," Mary remembered. "You've got your first concert this evening. Are you excited?"
"Excited...yes," I answered. "But I'm also really nervous. I've never really sung to an audience before. I think it's going to be scary."
Mary chuckled a bit, and she seemed amused at my reaction.
"I think you'll do fine, Megan," she said. "You're an outstanding young woman, and I believe that you will get through this without any problems."
I was more than happy to hear her say that. She knew me better than almost anyone else, possibly even more than Emily. I greatly appreciated her vote of confidence in my abilities, because I was becoming more and more nervous as the day continued.
"Anything happen this week that you would like to discuss?" Mary asked.
I thought back over the last week. It had been a pretty good week, and I really didn't have any concerns to talk about. Emily and Ethan had learned about Sarah after our last visit, and that had eliminated just about every negative concern that I had.
"Not really," was my reply. "Emily and Ethan found out after our session last Friday, so there wasn't really anything bad that happened."
"Emily and Ethan didn't know about Sarah?" she questioned.
Hadn't I talked to her about this? I could have sworn that I had. I was so mad at my dad last weekend that I thought I had mentioned it to her.
"Didn't I mention how mad I was at my dad last week?" I asked for clarification.
"No," she replied. "You didn't mention anything about it."
"Wow," I replied. "I swear that I did."
"Why were you mad at your father?" she asked the obvious next question.
"He didn't want me to tell anyone about Sarah," I explained. "That meant not telling Emily and Ethan. Last Friday, he told me it was all to prove that I could keep the secret. I was so mad at him! Emily and Ethan weren't talking to me anymore because I wouldn't tell them, and it was hurting our friendship."
"What did you do?" Mary asked.
"After I finished yelling at him, I avoided him as much as possible. I had never been that mad at him. He wasn't even going to let Mom or Austin come to my first concert!"
"Are you still mad at him?" she continued gathering information.
"No," I replied truthfully. "He had made me promise not to tell Emily and Ethan about Sarah until after tonight's concert. We did agree that I could tell them that they could be involved after tonight, but he wanted me to prove that I could keep it a secret. I couldn't, but it wasn’t my fault.
"Emily found out last Saturday. I was really tired after we got home from the recording session that day, and I managed to walk into the front room still dressed as Sarah while she was talking to my mom at the door. When Dad saw how relieved I was, he backed off on our deal and let me tell them everything."
"That was enough to curb your anger?" she queried.
"No," I said. "But it was a start. He looked really bad after he saw how relieved I was for Emily to find out. But I still tried to avoid him for most of the weekend. We spent some time together alone on Sunday night, and we worked things out."
"That's good to hear," Mary said. "I think it would be wise to bring both of your parents next week. It's been a while since we had a group session, and I think there are some things we will want to talk about."
"Okay," I replied. "I'll let them know. I'm sure they'd be happy to come."
"How did Emily and Ethan react?" she asked next.
"They were really surprised," I replied. "I thought Emily would be mad at me, but she seemed happy to be included instead. Ethan had a crush on Sarah, apparently, and he took it a lot harder."
"How have you handled that?" she asked.
"We haven't," I said frustrated. "He won't talk about it. He's been bottling it up inside, and I don't know how he feels. I caught him looking at me in a way I'm not ready to deal with while we were at the food court in the mall, but he hasn't done or said anything."
"How do you feel about him?" she wanted to know next.
"I don't know!" I said loudly. "He's been my best friend since kindergarten. My best guy friend! I've never even looked or thought about him that way before. I don't know what I would do if he expressed any interest."
Mary chuckled at my response.
"You know what, Megan?" she asked.
"What?" I replied with a question of my own. I had no idea what she was getting at.
"This is a turn of events I wasn't expecting," she chuckled some more. "We are now talking about a problem that I have talked about with many of my female clients, and not my transgender clients. I thought that progression was interesting."
"Oh!" I remembered the really big news that she definitely should know! "Well, that might be because I am a real girl!"
I chuckled this time at the confused look that she had. "What do you mean?" she asked.
"I went back to that specialist yesterday," I said and Mary nodded to tell me that she knew who I was talking about. "Apparently I am a girl. I've got all the internal organs, I just don't have the external parts to go with them."
"You mean..." Mary looked slightly at a loss for words. It was obviously not what she had been expecting to hear.
"I have two ovaries, a uterus, and a vagina," I explained. "I just don't have an external opening connecting them to the outside."
She sat back, stunned. I knew that she had other transgender patients, but apparently she had never experienced anything like this before.
After a moment of silence, she found her voice again. "How are you taking this news?"
"This is the best thing that's ever happened to me," I said excitedly. "I was beginning to consider hormones and future surgery...this was totally unexpected, but totally perfect."
She laughed again.
" I can see why this would make you happy," she said. "What happens now?"
"We're scheduling some time into Sarah's schedule to have some surgery to...correct the problem," I said. "I'm apparently a late bloomer. Dr. Holbrook is worried that I will start my first period before we have the surgery if we don’t do it soon."
Mary looked shocked again. I don't think I had ever seen her this flustered in one of our sessions before. She eventually saw my grin, and started laughing outright. It wasn't long before I had joined her.
"Wow, Megan!" Mary was finally able to speak again. "I don't think I've ever had anything like this happen before. I'm sorry if I seem unprofessional. I just wasn't expecting you to tell me that."
"Mary," I said sincerely. "I don't care if you sound like a professional or not. I think of you as more of a friend than a therapist anyway. This is big news! I would have been worried if you weren't surprised."
She chuckled at my response. "Thank you," she said eventually. "I'm glad that you can see me as a friend, too."
"Ow," I said for the fourth time. I was learning the hard way that trying to pin on a wig while sitting in a moving vehicle was a painful experience.
"Sorry," Dad said again, but he was just going through the motions now. There was no way that he could control every bump the road was giving us.
Eventually, after a few more pokes, I was able to get the wig pinned and turned back to the bag I had brought with me. I pulled out a long, beadlike necklace that was going to serve as my glam and slipped it over my head. I also swapped my plain black belt for a white belt that had small fake gems on it. A few bracelets and bangles and a small white watch were next. When I was done, I looked like any other teen pop star out and about for the day.
I glanced out the window. It wouldn't be long now until we reached the airport.
"All set?" Dad asked me with a grin. Honestly, I think he enjoyed hearing me cry out in pain every time he hit a bump.
"Yeah," I replied. "But next time we should stop to put the wig on."
He chuckled at my mishap, but he didn't respond at all.
"You look beautiful," he said instead. I glanced over at him, and he was smiling at me.
"Thanks," I replied sincerely. "I love you, Dad."
"I love you too, Princess," he replied and then signaled to merge into one of the lanes leading into LAX. "Are you ready for this?"
"I don't know," I said. "Josh was going to call me last Sunday, but he didn't. I haven't heard anything from him in a week and a half."
Dad started laughing, which was unexpected. After a minute he calmed down and explained himself. "I was asking if you were ready for the concert, not about your boy troubles."
"Oh," I blushed. I had been so worried about the lack of contact from Josh and the prospect of seeing him again that I hadn't even thought about what his question really meant. "Sorry, I know how much you like to avoid that topic."
He laughed again. "I'm sorry, Megan," he eventually said. "It's just a bit awkward. I don't really know how to deal with one of my kids dating, let alone my only daughter. I never thought that I would be playing the concerned father, but I've really started to worry about your safety lately. I still don't understand how Josh got your number."
"I gave it to him," I mumbled.
"What?" he responded in a concerned tone. I think he might have gotten the gist of what I meant even if he hadn't understood the words.
"I gave it to him," I said louder so he could hear me.
"When?!" he exclaimed in the startled tone I expected.
"When he came by the house last week," I explained. "I gave it to him when I shook his hand goodbye."
"Why?!" he asked.
"I don't really know," I told him truthfully. "I didn't want to hang up when we were on the phone. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time."
Dad chuckled at my explanation.
"You're a devious one," he admitted. "I'm going to have to keep my eye on you."
This time it was my turn to laugh.
We chuckled a bit and talked as my dad weaved his way through the maze of roads to get us to the parking structure that served Delta Airlines, our airline of choice for the day. I remember being surprised that Josh would be flying on a commercial airliner, but then Dad pointed out how much cheaper it was than chartering a private jet. I didn't mind, because we were still flying first class.
Because I wasn't arriving in a limo, Sarah Carerra was making her first trip into the airport by walking through the parking structure and over the connecting ramp. It wasn't how I pictured a rock star entering an airport, but that's what we did.
Once inside, we made our way to the ticket counter where we had to check my bag. Dad had a small carry-on, but my suitcase, with all the outfits I likely wouldn't wear, was too big. After my bag was checked, I began to worry about it. My stage outfit was in that bag and losing it would make finding a replacement difficult without Julia around.
Dad then led me up to the security checkpoint, which we quickly went through after joining the first class line. Faster security screening was definitely one major plus of being a rock star and flying first class. But on the other side came the first downer in my experience of flying as Sarah Carerra. I had hoped that we'd get to wait in Delta's first class lounge, but apparently travelers had to be at least 18 to qualify for purchasing a one-day pass, and Dad wasn't ready to commit to a longer membership. Neither Josh nor I was going to be permitted entry, no matter how well known, or not-so-well known in my case, we were.
We were also flying out of Gate 50A, which was immediately on the other side of the security screening section. This meant that people were going to be able to see Josh and me from the moment they left the screening area, assuming they looked in our direction. I could just imagine the screaming fans wanting to approach us, or at least Josh, on the way to their own gates.
But none of this was as bad as seeing Josh sitting there in a small, first-class waiting area with another girl.
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The jealousy I felt at seeing her was surprising to me. Josh and I had only been on one date, and we hadn't had much contact with each other afterward. But he was my first love, or at least my first crush. It hurt to have him taken away before anything ever really got started.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 37 - Sarah's #1 Fan by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: May 31, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 37 - Sarah's #1 Fan
"Sarah!" Josh exclaimed, standing up when he saw my dad and me approaching. He seemed more excited to see me than I thought he would if he had already moved on, but he didn't sound quite as excited as he had the last time I talked to him. Something had changed, or someone.
His girl stood up next to him, and I couldn't help but notice that she was very attractive. Like Josh, she had brown hair and brown eyes. She was also skinny and dressed very well, and appeared to be a year or two younger than both Josh and me.
The jealousy I felt at seeing her was surprising to me. Josh and I had only been on one date, and we hadn't had much contact with each other afterward. But he was my first love, or at least my first crush. It hurt to have him taken away before anything ever really got started.
"Hi, Josh," I replied. I hoped it wasn't too cold.
"Sorry I didn't get a chance to call you this week," he continued. "Things got...complicated."
He glanced over at the girl, and I followed his gaze. She seemed to be excited about something, but she was holding it in.
Josh turned back toward me and saw where I was looking.
"Sarah, this is Amanda," he said nonchalantly. "Amanda, Sarah."
"It's nice to meet you," I told her, holding back the venom from my voice. She looked like she wanted to say something, but her words seemed to be escaping her at the moment.
"Hi, Amanda," Dad said from beside me. "It's nice to see you again."
Amanda looked over at my dad, and seemed to find her tongue. "Hi, Mr. Campbell."
My dad knew this girl?! I didn't know what to think about that. But then, an even worse thought entered my mind. Had Dad set them up to keep Josh away from me?
No, he wouldn't, I hoped! We had a good relationship going, Dad and I. He better not have gone and screwed it up again!
"Have a seat, Sarah," Dad said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "We've got about 20 minutes before they'll start boarding, and sitting here will keep the riff-raff away."
Riff-raff, huh? I highly doubted that sitting down would make this girl go away. But I did sit, anyway. That's when I understood what Dad was talking about. Looking around the terminal, there were a lot of people looking at us. I had to assume that most of them were looking at Josh, but that didn't mean I couldn't be eye candy for some of the guys staring our way.
"Now that you two are here," Josh said. "I really need to use the restroom. I didn't want to leave Amanda alone. I'll be right back."
That certainly made my day even better. Now he was going to leave me alone with her.
Josh turned to walk toward the sign indicating the Men's Room, but turned back after only a few steps.
"Behave yourself, Amanda," he said before turning and striding away.
Dad sat down next to me, and with a slight frown, Amanda sat down on the other side of him, a couple of seats away. The farther the better.
"Mommy please!" I heard someone say close by. "It's Sarah Carerra! Let me go!"
I looked around, trying to place the small voice that had uttered my name. My eyes landed on a young blonde girl, perhaps eight or nine years old, struggling to get out of the grasp her mother had on her arm. They were sitting on the bench opposite where Dad and I had sat down, on the other side of the small partition between first class and coach. It seemed like her mom was trying to prevent her from approaching me.
"Please," the little girl pleaded. She looked up, and we made eye contact. She froze instantly. She looked horrified that I was watching her struggle against her mother. I glanced to her mom, who was also now staring at me. With a smile, I nodded at her. She let go of the girl's arm, but the girl seemed to have lost all desire to approach me.
I heard my dad chuckle at the scene from beside me. I personally didn't think it was a laughing matter.
"Don," I said. "Picture?"
"What?" he replied, startled at my question. "Oh, right."
He reached for his small carry on and unzipped one of the pockets before pulling out a publicity photo of me. He thought it would be prudent to have some with us in case someone wanted an autograph.
He handed me the photo and a marker, and I stood up and approached the partition.
"Hi," I said to the girl. She looked scared and nervous now. "What's your name?"
She mumbled something, but I couldn't make out what she said. I stepped over the partition and moved closer to where she was trying to hide next to her mother. I sat down next to her, watching her shake slightly at my closeness.
"I'm sorry," I said to her. "I couldn't hear you."
"Megan," she said slightly louder, allowing me to hear. I smiled instantly.
"That's a beautiful name," I told her truthfully. I was slightly partial to that name, for obvious reasons. "Are you flying to Salt Lake City too?"
She nodded, but she started to look less afraid as the realization that I was talking to her was starting to set in. "We were visiting Grandma, but now we're going home."
I smiled at her. "I'm going to sing my first concert there tonight."
"Can I come?" she asked immediately, and then turned to her mother for an answer.
"No, honey," her mom said almost instantly. "We have to unpack and go to the grocery store and everything."
The girl turned sullen nearly as quickly as her mother had rejected her request. I really wished there was more I could do for her. But there was one thing I could do.
"Maybe next time, huh?" I said to her. She looked up at me and smiled a small smile at that hope.
"Can I have your autograph then?" she asked.
"Of course," I smiled at her. "I just happen to have an official autograph picture right here for you."
I held up the picture for her to see, and her smile widened some more. I then placed the picture on my knee and uncapped the black marker.
"To Megan, my #1 fan," I said while writing the same words on the photo. I then signed it and recapped the marker before looking at the girl again. "Do you know why you are my number one fan?"
She shook her head while saying, "No."
"It's because this is the first autograph I have ever given to anyone," I said to her. "And nobody else has ever recognized me in public, either. I'll never forget you."
I then handed her the photo, and she took it from my hand like it was something so valuable it shouldn't be touched. "Thank you," she whispered in awe.
A flash broke my concentration and I looked up to see Dad taking a picture with his camera. I smiled and leaned into Megan, who did the same. Dad took another photo before sitting back down. The little girl's mom was next, and took a picture of the two of us together.
After she had sat back down, I slipped my hand in my purse and pulled out one of Dad's business cards. He'd given me a small stack in case I wanted to give somebody a way to contact me without giving them my direct phone number. I held the card out to the girl's mother.
"This is my agent's card," I told her as she took it. "I want you to call him when you get a chance and he'll help line up some tickets to a concert. You two might not be able to make it tonight, but I'd love to see you guys at one in the future."
"You don't need to do that," I heard the girl's mom say, causing a small gasp to come from her daughter's lips. She obviously didn't agree with her mother's words.
"It's the least I can do," I told her with a grin. "She really is my number one fan, and I'd like to make sure that she gets to see me sing in person sometime."
Megan’s mom grinned for the first time. I think she finally understood that I was being sincere. She also took the card and placed it in her own purse.
"Thank you," she said genuinely.
"You're welcome," I replied.
"You're the best!" little Megan stated before wrapping her arms around me, causing me to chuckle.
"There you two are," a masculine voice broke our moment. "Are you ready to get some food?"
Megan let go of me and we both looked up to see a man approaching us. I assumed that it was her father.
"Dad!" Megan confirmed my assumptions. "Look, It's Sarah Carerra!"
He looked at me, but there was no recognition in his eyes. He obviously didn't share the same interest in my music that his daughter did.
"Nice to meet you," he said curtly before turning back to his family. I noticed that there were two teenage boys standing next to him, and both seemed shocked to see me in person. "We need to hurry if we want to eat before the flight."
"But..." Megan said.
"Come on, Megan," he said sternly.
"It was nice to meet you, Megan," I offered, helping to diffuse the situation. "Make sure to have your mom call and get some tickets. I look forward to seeing you again."
"Okay," she said in a downcast tone. She really didn't want to leave. "Bye."
She waved at me as her dad took her other hand. I waved back, and soon they were out of sight in the crowd. I turned back to where my dad was sitting and stepped back over the partition, sitting down beside him once again.
"You really are something else, Megan," he whispered in my ear. I chuckled at his statement.
"You have got to be the best celebrity ever!" Amanda said while plopping down next to me, ruining the great feeling that I had been sharing with my first fan. I looked at her coldly.
"What did I do?" she asked, sounding hurt.
"Nothing," I replied curtly.
Dad chuckled next to me. I don’t know what he found funny about the situation. I mean, he knew how much I liked Josh. Why would he be laughing at my misfortune of having to talk to Josh’s new girlfriend?
"Sarah," he said with just a trace of amusement. "Amanda is Josh's sister, not his girlfriend."
"Sister?" I asked, looking at her again. She was nodding her head. "Oh."
I could see the family resemblance now. I didn’t know how I had missed it before. They looked a lot alike.
"Who did you think..." She started, before a big grin spread across her face. "Oh my gosh...you DO like him!"
"No I don't!" I shot back immediately. The last thing I needed was for Josh to know how I felt about him.
"Yes you do!" she said too loudly. I was afraid that too many people were listening in to my love life now. A second later, a frown spread across Amanda's face before she spoke again. "I'm truly sorry."
"Why?" I asked. She hadn't really done anything. It was I who had jumped to conclusions. Or did she know why he hadn't called me?
"Nothing!" she said immediately and then turned away. It was obvious that she felt she had already said too much.
"What?" I asked, maybe even begged. I had to know now. "He's met someone else, hasn't he?"
"I'm sorry," she said again, but turned toward me. She looked really upset now. I don't know if she was worried about telling me or if she truly felt sorry.
"Who is it?" escaped my mouth before I even realized it. I was starting to stress out.
"I don't know," Amanda said. She looked like she was struggling between her desire to tell me and whatever loyalty she had to her brother. "I shouldn't say."
"Please," I truly begged this time. I couldn't stand it anymore. Who was taking Josh away from me?
Amanda struggled in indecision for another moment before she seemed to come to a decision. Then, she looked guiltily at Dad. "He won't stop talking about Don's daughter, Maren."
I was shocked! I was speechless! I was...I don't know what I was.
Dad just started laughing. He laughed hard and loud. I could only sit there in shock as he continued to laugh and laugh and laugh before he finally started coughing from laughing too much. I was still speechless.
"You mean Megan?" he asked a moment later after he had caught his breath. Then he started laughing again. I was still shocked.
"He said her name was Maren," Amanda reiterated.
"Yeah, well," Dad said before shaking his head and chuckling again. "I've only got one daughter, and Josh apparently still hasn't learned her name. I think they only met briefly once."
He looked at me, and I nodded, hopefully imperceptibly.
I'd lost Josh. I'd lost Josh to...myself. How did that even happen? That made absolutely no sense at all. How could he have fallen for the real me? He'd been in our house the night that he had told us about the concert, and he was there for less than half an hour. How could he have fallen for someone that quickly? How had he fallen for ME that quickly? More importantly, why had he called Sarah the next day if he had already fallen for Megan?
"I'm sorry," Amanda said again. She didn't know the irony in the situation. I'd finally come around to realize that I wanted something more with Josh, and I'd lost him. He couldn't be Megan's boyfriend, because that would be too close to exposing the secret if we were ever seen in public. Eventually, someone would put two and two together and realize that I was Sarah Carerra if that happened.
I could tell him the truth. No, that wouldn't work. Dad would scream at me if I did, and then there would be someone outside of the trust circle with knowledge of my dual identity. That was a bad idea. Even if he signed a non-disclosure agreement, the relationship could only end one of two ways. Even if I thought I might love him, I wasn't naive enough to think that it was likely we would remain a couple for long. We were young. We were trying to figure out who we were. That was especially true for me!
"Are you okay?" Dad broke through my reverie. I glanced up at him. He looked really worried.
"I guess so," I replied, but I wasn't sure if it was the truth. I really could have used a hug right then, and Dad, bless him, seemed to realize it. But we had to maintain the secret. All I got was a nod.
The rest of the wait for boarding was pretty uneventful. I talked with Amanda to help pass the time and tried to avoid Josh. I think he realized soon after returning from the restroom that Amanda had let slip certain information. He seemed upset with her and tried to avoid me too. He and Dad talked a lot.
Amanda, on the other hand, was awesome. She was a huge fan of Sarah’s. Apparently the excitement I had first seen in her when we were introduced was because she was meeting me. She had seen me with Josh at the Tween Awards, and had naturally become curious about the girl her brother was dating. Josh then passed on my song to her, illegally I might add. But legality aside, she really enjoyed it, and had gone out and purchased the single on iTunes later.
Amanda lived with the rest of Josh's family in Salt Lake City. I hadn't realized that he was from The Crossroads to the West, and it made more sense now about why he actually had a whole VIP section at the concert. If his family and friends lived there, it was only natural that they would want to come and see him perform. Josh also spent most of his time in Salt Lake City when he wasn't recording or performing. I was also surprised to learn that he was living with an aunt when he stayed in Los Angeles. He didn't have his own place. He was just an average teenage boy rooming with relatives. Although...they did live in a five million dollar home and his room was the size of a small condo.
Amanda had flown out to surprise him last Sunday. She was probably one of the reasons Josh hadn't called me all week. She apologized for her part in his realization that I wasn't the girl for him, but I wondered if Josh would have called Sarah instead of thinking about Megan if she hadn't come out. I guess that was a question I would never know the answer to.
Eventually, it was time to board. Only the four of us were standing in the first class line, and I was really starting to become upset. We'd had to get a later flight for Mom and Austin because the flight was supposed to be sold out. I highly doubted that there were only four seats in first class.
But, despite my ire our tickets were checked and we were led down the ramp toward the plane. Once we were on board, my irritation started to increase again. There were 12 seats in first class, three rows of two on each side of the aisle. Where were the other eight people? Why couldn't Mom and Austin come with us?
I slipped into my seat by the window on the middle row of one side of the plane. I was expecting Dad to sit down next to me, but he offered the seat to Amanda instead, and she eagerly jumped at the chance to talk to me longer. I was pleased, because I had really started to like Amanda.
Dad sat across the aisle next to Josh, who was sitting in the other window seat. He couldn't get much farther away from me without heading back to coach.
I settled in, placing my purse, which was my only carry-on, in the proper location for flight and then peeking out the window at the tarmac. They were loading bags into the plane, and I sighed in relief to see my pink suitcase, with the initials SC stenciled on the front, being loaded onto the plane. My stage outfit would be waiting for me in Salt Lake City.
"Worried?" Amanda asked from beside me.
"Not anymore," I said while turning toward her with a smile. "I just saw them loading my suitcase into the plane."
She laughed. "Lost bags are really very uncommon, you know."
"That may be true," I replied. "But my stage outfit is in that bag, and losing it would have been a very bad thing."
"Oh," she returned. "I could see why you would be worried then."
After she had said that, I learned why being seated early in first class could be a bad thing on some airplanes.
On this flight, it meant having the coach passengers walk through first class toward their own seats on the other side of the bulkhead separating us from them. I knew we were in a small plane, and this seemed to be one of the downsides.
I did get to smile and wave at little Megan again when her family boarded and passed us. Her return smile was just as bright as it had been earlier. Her dad's smile was nearly as big. He had apparently been filled in over lunch, and he also gave me a friendly nod as he passed.
We got the occasional oh's and ah's as passengers passed by us. Josh definitely got a lot of attention because he was well known, but there were still plenty of people pointing me out to their traveling companions as they passed. It felt nice to have some recognition. At least none of them tried to stop and talk. The worst part was when one boy about my own age passed by. He stared at me from the minute he laid eyes on me all the way until he had passed behind the bulkhead. It wasn't a good stare, either. It was nothing but lust, and it made me feel really uncomfortable.
At the tail end of the coach passengers, eight more people boarded the plane. They all appeared to be together, and were disappointed to realize the group would be separated by us. They began to take their seats in first class, four in the row in front of us and four behind us.
At least I didn't feel as upset when they were seated. If the seats hadn't been filled, I would have been ready to kill my dad for making Mom and Austin come later.
Not long afterward we were in the air and on our way to my first concert. I was both excited and nervous!
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It felt like one of the most important performances of my life. Josh wouldn't be out there to see me sing later this evening, so I wanted him to enjoy this sound check like it was a concert.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 38 - The Sound of Music by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: June 7, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 38 - The Sound of Music
Disembarking was much better than boarding. I think we were off the plane and at the baggage claim before the coach passengers were even finished standing up. Amanda and I were the only people in our group who had checked bags, but Dad and Josh graciously stepped forward to retrieve them while Amanda and I stood close to the door where we had a limo waiting to whisk us away to the venue. The two of us were less than inconspicuous, but thankfully nobody approached us.
Once Dad had returned with my bag and Josh had returned with Amanda's, we quickly stepped outside and into the waiting limo. The quiet atmosphere was relaxing.
We talked lightly during the drive, but Josh and I avoided any talk about our feelings for one another. He was still a nice guy, and my heart ached at the loss of someone I was only starting to have feelings for.
After about 20-25 minutes we pulled into the venue. The Usana Amphitheater turned out to be an outdoor amphitheater on the west side of the Salt Lake Valley. The limo pulled into a gated area and stopped in front of a building behind the actual amphitheater. We exited the car just in time for a man wearing a Usana shirt to exit the building and approach us. He introduced himself as Jack the show coordinator before leading us into the building and showing us where our dressing rooms would be.
"Wow," Amanda said from behind me when I entered my assigned dressing room. She had decided to follow me instead of Josh.
The room was pink and very feminine. I wondered if there were ever any male artists who had been forced to suffer by being placed in this room. To me, it was perfect.
"This is much better than the one they usually give Josh," Amanda supplied a second later. "His is more...neutral."
"It is really nice," I said with a smile. In truth, it was about the best I could ask for in my first dressing room. There was a small bathroom off to one side, a nice couch against one wall facing a large flat-screen TV, and a table on the other side of the room where it looked like they were going to provide me with food later in the evening. The table was barren for the time being, reminding me that I hadn't had any lunch yet.
"Mom's bringing sandwiches," Amanda said, either reading my mind or understanding what I was looking at. "She should be here soon. I'm pretty sure she was bringing enough for you and Don, too."
"That would be great," I turned toward her and gave her a smile. "I'm starving."
"Not what you expected to be eating as a star, is it?" she asked with a bit of humor in her voice.
I laughed at her words. There had been plenty of those moments today: changing in the car, walking into the airport from the parking structure, and now, eating sandwiches made by Josh and Amanda's mom. It definitely wasn't how I expected my first concert to be, but it felt right for some reason. I didn't want the attention and the glamour that Josh seemed to revel in at times. These everyday occurrences would help me to remember who I really was when I was dressed up as Sarah Carerra.
"No," I replied to Amanda's question. "But I wouldn't want it any other way."
"Really?" she asked in a tone that seemed to indicate she thought I had lost my mind. I laughed again. Josh had an amazing little sister.
Dad stepped into the room at that point, and I saw him shudder slightly at the decorations. "Nice room," he said, but I knew he didn't mean it. Just like at Aphrodite Image Consulting, or even Sarah's room at home, he looked uncomfortable. He was also holding my baby.
"It's perfect," I replied, taking the guitar case from him and setting it down on the couch and peeking inside to make sure it was okay. Dad hadn't wanted to fly with my guitar, so he had it hitch a ride on the bus. I was just happy that it was safe and sound.
He nodded at my statement, but it didn't help change the look on his face at all.
"Come on," he said. "Josh's mom is here, and she brought sandwiches for lunch."
He then turned and walked out of the room, and Amanda and I followed him. Amanda was giddy once again, and it took me a second to realize she hadn't seen her mom in over a week. I'd probably be just as excited to see my mom after that amount of time away from her.
Dad led us down the hall in the opposite direction of where we entered the building, and we eventually reached a set of double doors at the end. Dad opened one of the doors and held it open for Amanda and me. On the other side was a covered walkway that led to an entrance at the back of the amphitheater.
"That is where you'll go to enter the stage," Dad said while pointing out the entrance at the end of the walkway. "We'll show you where to go after lunch. For now, hop on."
He then stepped into a golf cart driven by Jack. Amanda and I were forced to sit on the back seat as he took off, drove to the end of the walkway, turned the opposite way from the amphitheater, and through a gate in a fence.
On the other side was the concession area. Shops and tents were being set up for the night's concert as we passed through the area and into the seating on the other side. Jack continued to drive a short way until we reached a small section that was separated from the rest of the seating areas. There were a few small tables in this section and a couple of rows of seats. One of the tables had a big umbrella in the middle providing shade for Josh and a woman who I assumed was his mother.
The golf cart came to a stop and Dad and I stepped off while Amanda jumped off and ran for the woman, who engulfed her in a hug.
"Welcome home, Amanda," the woman said. "Did you have a fun time?"
"Yes!" she said excitedly before turning to me. Before she had a chance to speak, Josh laid a hand on her shoulder, and she let him do the introductions.
"Mom," Josh said before gesturing my way. "This is Sarah Carerra. Sarah, this is my mom."
"It's so nice to finally meet you," Josh's mom said before wrapping me in a friendly hug. "Josh has told us so much about you."
"It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Holliday," I replied when she had let me go.
"Please, call me Annie," she said with a smile. "Mrs. Holliday sounds too formal."
"It's nice to meet you then, Annie," I replied, returning her smile. She then turned toward my dad.
"Don, what brings you out this way?" she asked curiously. Apparently, most pop stars didn't travel with their agents. But my agent was special to me, and people were going to have to get used to him being around. Besides, he was also my manager, something he had never fully been for any of his other clients. He might help guide their careers, but there was usually another person from his company involved during the day-to-day activities. He held that role for me.
"I'm just here to see this talented young girl’s first show," he said with a smile that seemed slightly odd for an agent to give to one of his artists. That's because it was the type of smile that a dad would give to his daughter if he was in this position. I smiled back. "Besides, I am her manager too."
Josh's mother caught the smile, and she had an odd look on her face. I didn't know what she was thinking, but it didn't look like happy thoughts.
"I've known Don and his family all my life," I tried to explain. "He, Linda, and my parents are about as close as anyone can get to one another. He's like a dad to me."
"Oh," Annie replied. Relief flashed through her eyes at my explanation. It appeared she was assuming the worst. "Well, it's nice to see you again."
"It's good to be here," he told her. "Linda will be flying in with my son Austin later this evening, I'm sure she'll be happy to see you again too."
"That would be lovely," Annie said, her face brightening a bit at that thought. I had no idea my parents and Josh's parents were friends. "Don't you have two boys?" Annie asked a moment later.
"No," Dad quickly replied. "A boy and a girl. Megan is my daughter's name."
I smiled again at my dad's words while Amanda leaned over to her mother.
"She's the one Josh has the hots for now," she whispered, but I was certain that everyone heard her anyway. Amanda blushed after seeing the shock on Josh's face, the confusion on her mother's face, the frown on my face, and the humorous grin on my dad's. She obviously hadn't meant for us to hear her statement.
"Is she not coming?" Annie asked my dad, breaking the short silence we had fallen into.
"I'm afraid not," Dad replied. "She had other commitments this evening."
"That's too bad," Josh's mom stated before turning back to the table. "Please, sit down and have a sandwich. You guys must be starved."
I grinned and we sat down to eat.
Josh's family was really cool, at least those members whom I had met. They seemed really down to earth, and Josh seemed different when he was around them. He seemed relaxed and more down to earth, and less likely to forget his humble beginnings.
Not long after we started eating, the music started up. Josh's band was up on the stage to start the sound checks for tonight. They played through a couple of songs before Jack returned with the golf cart to collect Josh. A few minutes later Josh was on stage with his band performing a couple more songs to help calibrate the settings they would need to use for tonight's performance.
He looked amazing up there. I once again found myself looking at him dreamily. He seemed like even another person while on stage. I'd seen the stuck up Hollywood side of him, the laid back real person, and now I was seeing the performer for the first time. I couldn't believe how each side of his personality seemed to be so different from the others. He truly was amazing.
After Josh had completed his sound check, his band started breaking down their equipment, and I saw Pop Fly moving their things out onto the stage. I smiled at the sight of the three buff guys moving their trunks out on stage to replace the ones Josh's band were packing away.
Josh joined us again a few minutes later, and I couldn't help but blush deeply when he looked straight at me and asked, "What did you think?"
"You were amazing," I finally found my voice and supplied him with an answer. I couldn't believe that I was starting to crush harder on him now! He was lost to Sarah! He only had eyes for Megan, the real me! The despair brought on by that thought was nearly as overwhelming as the feelings of admiration and...whatever else I was feeling!
Before we were able to say anything else to each other, Dad interrupted the moment.
"Come on, Sarah," he said. "Jack and I will show you around backstage before your sound check."
"Okay," I said with a tinge of regret. I didn't really want to leave Josh again, but I knew that I had things to do if we were going to be ready for tonight. I stepped into the golf cart and took a seat, and Jack drove us back through the concession area to the end of the covered walkway we had seen earlier.
"Right this way, Ms. Carerra," he said while exiting the cart and walking toward an open door nearby. I got out and followed him, with Dad right behind me.
On the other side of the door was a backstage area. There were many props and other things stored throughout, but Jack led us quickly through the clutter to where we could enter the stage from the right.
"Hi girls!" I said excitedly when I saw Sophie and Holly sitting on a small couch off stage. It looked like they were waiting for their turn to join in on the sound check.
"Hi, Sarah," Sophie said with a smile. Holly also gave me a "Hi."
"How was the trip?" I asked them. I hoped riding on the bus wasn't too bad.
"It was great!" Holly said immediately. "The guys were really fun, and sleeping on the bus wasn't that bad. It was actually a lot of fun!"
"That's good," I said and smiled at them. "I was worried about the two of you."
"Aww," Holly continued. "Thanks for the thought at least, but everything turned out fine."
"Sarah!" I heard Stacy yell from the stage where he was setting up his drums. "You made it!"
He stood up, and I noticed that the rest of the band stopped setting up their equipment and turned toward where I was standing. Each of them had a happy grin on their faces.
"Hi guys," I yelled back. "All set for tonight?"
"Almost," Jason said, walking closer to where I was standing. "We were about to start sound checks, and then we'll be ready. How are you holding up?"
"Pretty good, so far," I said with a chuckle. "I don't think I'm really going to be nervous until this place is crowded."
He chuckled with me. "Don't worry, Sarah. You're a natural performer, you'll do alright."
"Thanks, Jason," I smiled back at him. "I just hope you're right."
"I am," he said confidently. "Just ask the others. I'm always right."
There were a chorus of groans and sighs from the other two band members, which had the girls and me giggling. Jason just stood there with a large smile on his face.
"Ok, ok," I said with a last laugh. "You guys certainly are making this fun."
"Well, it should be fun," Jason said again. "Just wait, you'll learn."
"Are you guys ready?" someone asked from nearby. I turned and there was a heavyset man standing there looking at us. He didn't look happy with our delay.
"One second, Henry," Jason said and then with a small grin turned back to finish setting up his equipment.
"Good," Henry said. "We're on a timetable here, you know,"
"We know," Jason shot back. "Heaven forbid we get to welcome Sarah to your glorious stage."
Everyone but Henry chuckled at Jason's quip. Henry turned red with anger before turning and walking out of sight into the backstage area.
"Who was that?" I asked after he had left.
"Henry something, I forget his last name," Stacy said from where he was attaching his cymbals. "He's our communication with Jose, the sound technician for tonight. Jose is cool, but Henry needs to be taken down a peg."
"Oh," I replied.
"Are you guys all set?" Jason asked a moment later.
"Yeah," Stacy said before playing a beat on his drums, followed by a similar response from Connor.
"Good," Jason stated. "'Intuition' on 3...1, 2, 3."
I stood there and watched the three of them playing my song for a moment. They were like a well oiled machine. Right off the top they were in sync and on beat. Not a mistake to be heard.
"Sarah!" I heard my dad yell over the noise behind me about halfway through the song. I turned to look for him. He was standing so that he was half hidden behind the wall to the backstage area. "Come here, I've got something for you."
I walked over to him and he stepped back behind the wall. I followed him around the corner, Sophie and Holly right behind me. They seemed to be just as curious as I was.
Dad was holding the pole of a white microphone stand. He moved it around slightly, and it started to shimmer much like my stage outfit did. Attached to the pole was a wireless microphone, also white, and also shimmering. Dad lifted it off the stand and handed it to me. It had 'Sarah Carerra' stenciled on the side in a flowing cursive font.
"Wow," I said, taking the microphone from him and admiring it up close.
"This is yours," he said. "We'll have it everywhere you perform, waiting for you to use."
"It's beautiful, Don," I said and wrapped him in a hug. He hugged me back, but he was grimacing when we let go.
"What?" I asked before realizing that Sophie and Holly were still standing behind me. I mentally kicked myself in the head. This wasn't the type of hug that I should have been giving my agent.
I turned to them, the worry on their faces was apparent. "I've known Don my whole life," I explained for the second time that day. "Hugging him is like hugging my own dad."
"Oh," Sophie said, but she still looked concerned. I would have to be careful what I did or said around Dad for a while.
"Sarah! Girls! Where are you?" Stacy yelled from the stage. I stepped back around the wall so that he could see me. "Come on, it's time for vocals," he said.
"Okay," I replied and turned back to the small group. They all smiled, and I figured we were good, for now. I returned their smile and Dad handed me the microphone and stand.
I carried it with me as we walked out onto the stage, and I placed it down next to where Josh's microphone was.
"'Intuition' and then 'Open Your Eyes', okay?" Jason asked me and I nodded. He then started right in on his guitar.
It was funny. I wasn't performing for anyone except the small audience sitting in Josh's VIP section. But it felt like one of the most important performances of my life. Only Dad and the band had heard me sing in person before. Josh hadn't. And that was the most important part. He wouldn't be out there to see me sing later this evening, so I wanted him to enjoy this sound check like it was a concert.
I wanted him to know what he would be missing.
I sang through 'Intuition' to the best of my ability. I could see Josh and his family out in the VIP area for now, but it looked like the VIP area would be hard to spot once this place was packed. At least I now knew where to look to find my family later this evening.
Once we were done with 'Intuition' we started right in on 'Open Your Eyes'. I hadn't picked the songs for this sound check, but this one couldn't have been more perfect. Standing up there and singing about trying to make a boy notice me felt like it was tailor made for my present circumstance. Josh had eyes for another girl, and this song seemed to fit every emotion that I was feeling about that knowledge. If only he would 'see me' like the song suggested he should.
The song came to an end, and the rush overwhelmed me again. I loved this feeling, and I would do anything to have it continue.
"Good job, everyone," I said, turning toward the rest of the people on stage with me. They were more than I could have hoped for. With them at my back, I was going to rock.
Henry was standing at the edge of the stage, and he didn't look pleased.
"I have been informed," he said in a tone that indicated he really didn't care. "That there is another instrument that needs to be checked." He looked down at his clipboard. "Another guitar."
Dad came around from backstage and held up my guitar case.
"Oh," I said in surprise. I had completely forgotten about it. 'Ever After' was on the set list for tonight, and that was one of two songs that I played lead guitar for. Unfortunately, ‘Enchanted Forest’ was cut from the set list, and I was only going to get to play the instrument once tonight. I walked over to Dad and took the case from him, and set it down in a clear area on the side of the stage. I lifted the black instrument from its case and slipped the strap around my neck.
"Your plug is located next to the microphone area," Henry stated and then led me back to where my microphone was. He reached down and lifted a small access plate and then pulled a cord out and handed it to me. I quickly plugged it into the jack on my guitar.
"No vocals, just play," Henry droned before he exited the stage the way he had came.
"Okay," I replied, even though he was no longer there. I turned to Jason and the band instead. "'Ever After' then," I said before turning back toward the seats and strumming my guitar.
The song felt empty without the words, but the tone sounded really good. Purchasing an acoustic-electric guitar had certainly been a good idea.
Even if I hadn't sung any words, I still felt the same rush after we finished performing the song. It was going to be a wonderful evening.
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All of the decorations were very modern and very expensive looking. I was hesitant to touch anything for fear I would have to pay for it. Staying in a hotel like this would definitely take some getting used to.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 39 - Relax, It's Just a Concert by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: June 14, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
The 25-minute limo ride to the hotel was uneventful. It was also quiet. Josh was staying at home during the trip, leaving only Dad and I to make the journey to the Hotel Monaco in downtown Salt Lake City. The band was sleeping on the bus again tonight, while they journeyed back to Los Angeles. I felt sad that they didn’t get to sleep in a nice hotel room for one night, but they seemed to be okay with how things turned out.
The Hotel Monaco turned out to be an ugly looking building. Dad said something about it being a historical building, and maybe it was. But it certainly looked old. I didn’t know what to expect inside as the limo pulled up to the entrance.
"Thank you," I told the valet who had helped me out of the limo a few moments later. He smiled at me with recognition, which I hadn't expected. He was young, possibly 18 or 19-years-old, and could be in touch with the crowd who listened to my music. Either that, or the hotel had made all of the employees aware of who I was.
"You're welcome, Ms. Carerra," he said with a smile, proving that he at least knew me by name and face.
Dad slid out of the limo behind me and it wasn't long afterward that a bellhop had our luggage on a cart and was following us into the hotel.
The bleak, gray exterior of the building melted into a warm, luxurious lobby that felt more like a well-appointed living room than a hotel lobby. The soft, comfortable looking couches and chairs made me want to sink down onto one and never move. The soft tans and browns were interspersed with splashes of blues and reds that lingered in my thoughts long after my eyes had drifted past. The whole area was nothing but luxury that did nothing but indulge all of my senses.
"Welcome to the Hotel Monaco, Ms. Carerra," a man stated from not too far away, forcing my wandering eyes to focus on him. The smile that he was giving me didn't seem as genuine as the one that the valet had given, and I felt that this man was only doing his job.
"Thank you," I replied sweetly. "It's very beautiful."
"We aim to please," he said matter-of-factly. I immediately got the impression that he didn't like working with celebrities or big names. It made me wonder why the hotel would give him such a task. "If you'll follow Brian here, he will show you to your rooms. If there is anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask."
"Thank you," I replied again before turning toward the man he had indicated. Brian was dressed in a business suit, and it looked expensive.
"Right this way, ma'am," he said before gesturing at a bank of elevators along one of the walls. We took a few steps toward the elevators before I corrected him.
"Call me Sarah, please," I smiled at him, and he chuckled. He looked to be in his late twenties, and definitely had a better attitude than the man who had greeted me.
"As you wish, Sarah," he smiled back before pressing the elevator call button. The door opened immediately, and the three of us, plus the bellhop with our luggage, stepped inside. Brian then pressed the button for the 12th floor. I had the feeling that I was being put into a very expensive room. I hoped Dad wasn't trying to lavish me in luxury, because that wasn't what I wanted. I had to remind myself, and possibly him, that I wanted to stay connected to the normal everyday people. That was the whole reason we came up with the Sarah Carerra persona. But perhaps a touch of luxury wouldn't hurt. It's not like Megan would ever be staying somewhere like this.
The elevator rose quickly and soon we were being led down a hall toward one of the ends of the buildings. Brian stopped in front of a door that appeared to be the second to the last room in the hall.
"This is your suite, Mr. Campbell," Brian stated before pulling out a couple of keycards, swiping one in the door and handing them to my dad while opening the door for him.
"I'll check in on you in a few minutes," Dad told me before stepping inside. The bellhop pulled his small overnight bag off the cart and followed him into the room. Brian then stepped back out of the room and started walking down the hallway again.
"You're in the next suite down," he stated as we walked. "The Majestic suites are our largest suites, barring the presidential. I'm sure you'll be pleased."
He pulled another keycard out and opened the door before stepping inside and holding the door open for me. I stepped inside, and was immediately amazed at the size of the room. It was huge!
Brian quickly showed me around the suite. Walking in, there was a short hallway into the living area that consisted of a large couch, a nice flat-screen TV, numerous chairs, a large dining table...I had never seen a hotel room like this. He then showed me the bedroom, which was nearly as large as my room back home and had its own bathroom. I wanted to take the bathroom with me when I left. It certainly beat what I used at home to get ready for the day. The jetted tub would be enough to make the whole trip worthwhile, but I doubted I would get a chance to use it.
All of the decorations were very modern and very expensive looking. I was hesitant to touch anything for fear I would have to pay for it. Staying in a hotel like this would definitely take some getting used to.
"Is everything to your satisfaction?" Brian asked me after we had finished the short tour.
"Yes," I said with a nod. "I've never stayed somewhere this nice before."
He chuckled at my reaction. My guess was that he didn't usually get that type of a reaction from the guests he worked with.
The bellhop brought my bag in and dropped it off, and then waited for Brian.
"My number is listed on the phone if you have any needs or concerns," Brian said. "We're here to please, Sarah, so don't hesitate to call."
"Ok," I said with a small chuckle. He seemed very eager to help me. I reached into my purse and pulled out my wallet before giving Brian and the bellhop what I hoped was a proper tip. The smiles I received as they exited my room made me believe I had over-tipped them. Oh well, they deserved it.
The first thing I had to do after the door to my room was closed was to take my suitcase into the bedroom and remove my stage outfit. The last thing I wanted was a creased outfit for tonight. Fortunately, it seemed to have survived the trip without any detriment.
I then walked back into the living area, not sure what to do next. A knock on the door decided for me. I stepped over to it and looked through the peephole into the hallway. It was Dad. I opened the door to let him in.
"This place is amazing," I said while he stepped in with a grin on his face. "Are you sure we can afford it?"
He laughed. "Of course, Megan," he said. Since we were in private, he could use my real name without blowing the secret. "You're quite successful already. This is only a small expense for you."
"Really?" I asked incredulously. I didn't think I had enough money to call this room a 'small expense'. Dad just chuckled while nodding his head in the affirmative.
"Did you name your fish yet?" he asked me.
"Fish?" I asked, confused about his question.
"Yes," he said and then pointed at a small table next to the couch. On the table stood a fishbowl with a small orange fish darting around inside.
"Aww," I said, stepping over to the table to get a better look. "He's so cute. I'm going to call him Cutey."
Dad smiled at my sappy name for the goldfish, "I thought you'd like having a fish in the room." I tapped lightly on the glass and Cutey swam around a bit.
"The schedule for this evening," Dad said, returning my attention to him. He looked at his watch before continuing. "It's almost 4:30 now. We need to leave in about an hour to go back to the venue. I wish you had more time to relax, but the flight was later than what we normally would take for something like this."
"It's okay," I told him. "If I had more time to relax I'd probably start to get nervous. Right now everything seems so surreal. I haven't really started to feel nervous yet."
"Good!" he replied. "But there isn't anything to worry about. You'll do great, Megan. You always do."
"Thanks, Dad," I said and then gave him a hug.
"How are you doing?" he asked while wrapping his arms around me. I knew he was referring to what we had learned at the airport.
"I don't know," I replied. "I was just starting to realize that I had feelings for Josh. Learning he's in love with someone else was not what I wanted to hear."
"But he isn't really in love with someone else, Megan," Dad said, holding me closely like he used to do when I was little. "He still has eyes for you."
"I know," I replied. "But that will never work. There are too many pictures of Sarah and Josh on the internet now. If I showed up somewhere as Megan with him, somebody would figure out the secret. I just know it. I can't be with him as Megan."
"Then tell him the truth," Dad said, surprising me enough that I backed out of his grasp and stared at him. Had he really just suggested that?
"What?" he said, seeing my incredulous look. "If you really feel a connection with him, and want it to continue, you'll need to tell him eventually. If it means he understands that the two of you are the same person, and you need to be seen with him as Sarah, then you get the best of both worlds."
I just stared at him, shocked at what he was suggesting! "But you never want me to tell anybody! Why would you want me to tell Josh?"
"Megan," Dad said in a caring tone. "Your secret is very important to you. It's important to your career and your normal life. But your own happiness needs to come before the secret. I learned that the hard way by making you keep it from Emily and Ethan. I'm not going to make that mistake again. I trust your judgment. If you think Josh needs to know, if you think it will help, then tell him. The choice is yours now. I just want you to think about your life and how you want to live it. If that means telling Josh, then so be it. We'll deal with any consequences later. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, and I won't be upset if you need to tell him."
That was a lot to think about. I smiled at my dad and gave him another hug. He really had changed since last Friday. But would telling Josh help? It might. But I still didn't feel comfortable telling him about my secret. If things ended badly, he could expose me and ruin my normal life.
No, I wasn't ready to tell Josh. I would just have to win him back from myself. I smiled inwardly at that thought, how crazy was it to fight with yourself over a boy? Then again, I did have the advantage here. I could work as Megan and try to move Josh's gaze back toward Sarah.
"Thanks, Dad," I told him. "But I don't think I'm ready to tell him."
Dad sighed in relief. He probably meant his words, but it was obvious that he hoped I wouldn't tell Josh.
"Okay," he said. "But it's still your choice."
There was another knock on the door to my suite.
"In the meantime," he said while stepping toward the door. "I want you to enjoy this massage. You deserve it."
He then opened the door to display a young woman carrying a portable massage table.
I smiled.
"Are you ready?" Dad asked me for the fifth time.
"Almost," I replied the same way I had the first four times. However, this time I was standing in front of the mirror instead of finishing my makeup. I'd already changed into the stage outfit, and I thought I looked fantastic. I couldn't wait to be up on stage to show it off. The light blue jeans and the white tank top shimmered every time I moved, but it looked so much better now than it had when Julia had first shown them to me. Perhaps it was just the realization that I would be on stage for the first time soon.
"You look beautiful, Princess," He added, stopping in the doorway to watch me stare at myself. I smiled. "Come on, we need to get going."
"Okay," I said and grabbed some of the makeup and placed it in my purse. I knew that I had a makeup artist waiting for me in my dressing room, but I needed to look presentable until I got there.
I walked next to Dad as we made our way out of my suite and down the hall to the elevators. The hall was empty, but when the elevator doors opened I heard a gasp.
"Sarah Carerra!" the boy nearly screamed when Dad and I stepped in. His mother tried to quiet his excitement, and his father was laughing lightly. His sister was staring at me coldly.
"Hi," I said, not sure what to make of the situation. Dad was already digging into his bag.
"Can I have your autograph?" he asked before trying to find something for me to sign. He looked frantic when he realized he didn't have anything to write on or with.
"Sure," I said sweetly and took the photo and marker from my dad. He had quickly pulled them out of his bag. I quickly signed my name, sans any message, and handed the photo to him.
"Thank you," he said excitedly while staring at the photo. The boy was slightly younger than me, with a bit of an acne problem. "We were just on our way to your concert."
"Josh's concert!" his sister interjected quickly. "It's Josh's concert!"
I chuckled. It appeared that the siblings had different favorites performing tonight.
"Don't mind them," the boy's mother told me. "We got the tickets for Jenna to see Josh. Billy was excited when he learned you were performing too."
I smiled. "I hope you enjoy the show," I said as the elevator doors opened on the main floor and I stepped out after Dad. He led me through the small lobby to the doors we had entered the hotel through not too long ago. The atmosphere was completely different this time.
Once I stepped through the doors and into the open air, I was immediately assaulted by a number of camera flashes and people clamoring around to get a good shot. Apparently where I was staying was not a closely guarded secret.
I put on my best smile and waved a bit while staying as close as I could to my dad and hurrying to the limo. The same valet was holding the door open for us and Dad jumped in quickly. I turned to let the cameras get a last shot before turning toward the valet.
"Thank you," I looked at his name tag. "Russ."
He smiled even wider when I took the time to learn his name.
"It's my pleasure, Sarah," he said before he turned slightly red with embarrassment. "I mean Ms. Carerra. Good luck tonight."
I smiled back as I got in the car, and he closed the door.
Traffic was a lot worse during rush hour, we discovered. The venue wanted me there by six o’clock, but it looked like we were going to be a bit late. The limo driver seemed to know where he was going, and he managed to avoid any stop-and-go traffic on our short trip, but it was about five after six when he pulled up to the gate behind the Usana Amphitheater. After a brief stop for the security guard to check the driver's credentials, we pulled up to the building with the dressing rooms.
Once I had exited the car, I followed Dad inside the building and down to my dressing room, where he decided to leave me. He definitely didn't want to come in. What was it with guys that prevented them from wanting to be around anything feminine? I never did understand that, even when I was living as one.
"I'm going to check on the band," he said as an excuse before he left. I just sighed and opened the door.
The room had changed since the last time I had been there. There was food on the table now: small sandwiches, some cookies, fruits and vegetables - it all looked really good. But I was more than nervous to actually attempt eating anything in my stage outfit before the show. I guess I could have dressed in the dressing room after a light snack, but I had opted to change back at the hotel instead.
But those strawberries were calling to me.
"Sarah!" somebody said excitedly from the other side of the room, preventing me from indulging myself. "I'm glad you're here! We need to get you presentable!"
"Hi, Stephanie," I said with a smile when I saw my makeup artist standing near the mirror where she had laid out a bunch of brushes and cosmetics. "What are you doing here?"
"You're my number one client," Stephanie replied. "Remember what Julia said when we first met? I'll be your makeup artist whenever you need me. Perhaps even when you need to be dolled up as Megan."
She winked at me, and I laughed. Not many people knew my secret, but Stephanie was one of them.
"But, on the road?" I asked. She'd done my makeup before my date with Josh to the Tweeny Awards. I hadn't expected to see her here in Salt Lake City.
"Wherever you go, I go," she said. "You ARE my number one client now. If you need me, and one of my other clients needs me, you get priority. It costs more, but your dad thought it was worth the money."
"Oh," I said in surprise. That was certainly good news. Having the same person dedicated to my look at every event certainly would be a good thing. I knew that I was definitely happy that she was there instead of someone whom I had never worked with before.
"Have a seat," she said and gestured to a chair in front of the mirror and the cosmetics. I complied and she wrapped a smock around me to prevent anything from getting onto my outfit. "You're image is pretty well established to include dark smoky eyes and a pink lip. The Tweeny Awards and your posters have done that. If it's okay with you, I'd like to continue the look tonight."
"Okay," I replied. I really did like the way that I looked when I was made up the way she described. But I was also worried that it would look too dressy and sophisticated for my "normal" stage outfit. The only way to know for sure would be to let her try out her idea.
She started by wiping off the makeup I had applied less than an hour earlier, and then proceeded to apply the cosmetics. It took her about 15 minutes before she stepped back to see the whole picture.
"Perfect," she declared before stepping aside to allow me to look into the mirror.
She was right, it was perfect! I was expecting a heavy, dark shadow but she had understated the smoky look a bit. It looked a lot more natural and more like the makeup I wore every day, making it match the image my stage outfit gave. The smokiness was still there - I could definitely see it on my eyelids - but it didn't draw nearly as much attention to my eyes as it did for the posters or even when I saw replays of the Tweeny Awards. The pink gloss she had applied to my lips accented them perfectly, and I could only stare mesmerized at how good they looked.
"I'm really glad you're here," I told her without taking my eyes away from the mirror. "It is perfect."
"That's what you pay me for," she chuckled.
"Are you staying for the concert?" I asked her, pulling my view from the mirror and giving her the smile that she deserved.
"Yes," she replied. "I'll check you again just before you go on, to see if you need any touch ups. Then I'll check again after you get off and before you mingle with the crowd. We want to make sure that you look good for the cameras."
"Cameras?" I asked nervously. Nobody had mentioned cameras to me.
"Yes," she replied. "Don said they were filming tonight's concert."
"They what?" I asked incredulously. How could Dad forget to tell me this! What if I made a mistake on stage and they showed it to the whole country! This was a bad idea.
"He didn't tell you?" She looked nervous now. I was certainly starting to feel nervous. For the first time since early that morning, I was starting to feel nervous about performing - especially if they were filming it!
"No," I told her. "He didn't."
"Well, no biggie. You'll do fine anyway," she tried to make me feel better. It didn't work.
"If you'll excuse me," I said. "I need to find my dad."
"Go easy on him, Sarah," Stephanie said. "I'm sure he had a reason for not telling you."
Before I had a chance to go looking for him, there was a knock on the door to my dressing room. I walked over to the door and opened it to find Josh standing there.
"Hi, Sarah," he said, but he looked nervous. "Can I talk to you?"
"Sure," I said reluctantly. I had a feeling we were going to be talking about the subject we had been avoiding all day, and I wasn't really ready to talk about that. Especially because I was starting to get nervous.
He stepped inside my dressing room. He seemed so preoccupied that the feminine decorations didn't even phase him. "Sarah, I..." he started before noticing Stephanie. He looked even more nervous when he realized someone else was in the room.
"I'll give you two some time," Stephanie said immediately before heading for the door. "I'll check in on you just before showtime."
"Thanks, Steph," I replied with a smile. Once she had stepped outside and closed the door, I turned back to Josh. He looked like a little school boy, nervous about the first day of class. My heart ached to try and take that fear away from him.
"Megan's a good girl, Josh. I've known her my entire life," I started for him. "But she may not be the girl you think she is."
"I know," he finally said, but it sounded more like a moan. He really had it bad for her, me. This was so confusing.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "You're an amazing girl, Sarah. Any guy would be lucky to call you his girlfriend. I wish I could..."
"But there's something about Megan," I finished for him, grimacing myself. Suddenly, my goal to win him back without telling him the truth seemed a lot harder to accomplish.
"She's...like you!" he exclaimed. I wasn't quite sure what he was talking about. "I mean, I only talked to her for a moment, but she reminded me so much of you. She just...she just...don't take this the wrong way, but she just seemed more real."
I grimaced again. Josh knew my secret! He didn't know that he knew, and he certainly didn't understand it, but he knew who the real me was. Megan WAS the real me. Sarah was just a facade. How could I compete with that?
Josh frowned at my grimace. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded, Sarah," he said. I nodded. I knew all too well exactly what he meant.
"I understand," I explained. "Like I said, I've known her a long time."
"I just wanted you to know that it wasn't anything you did," Josh said with a pained expression. My eyes were starting to tear up, which was the last thing I wanted to do. Stephanie had already finished my makeup. I didn't want her to have to reapply it.
"Thanks for telling me, Josh," I said. "But you’d better go. If you stay any longer you're going to make me cry, and I've already got my makeup on."
"Okay," he said. But he stepped closer and gave me a hug. I certainly hadn't expected him to do that. Thankfully it was short; any longer and I would have been in tears. After letting me go, he stepped back to the door and opened it.
"You're an amazing woman, Sarah Carerra," he said. "Never forget that."
Then he was gone.
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I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of disbelief. I was about to sing a concert! I had never in my life thought that I would be doing something like this before!
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 40 - I Am a Rock Star by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: June 21, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 40 - I Am a Rock Star
I was nervous. I was really nervous! Whatever had kept me calm and collected throughout most of the day had finally left me, and I was really beginning to worry that I wouldn't be able to do this.
The last 50 minutes since Josh had left my dressing room had been the worst 50 minutes of my life. Not long after he was gone, my dad had shown up, and I had confronted him about recording the concert. He apologized for not telling me, but then went on to explain that the concert was going to be broadcast on TV Sunday night. He hadn't told me about it because he didn't want me to start worrying.
Well, that just made me worry even more. Not only did I have to worry about making a fool of myself on stage during the concert, which seemed to be a likely scenario now, but I also had to worry about making a fool of myself across the entire country!
How could Dad do this to me? If he had warned me, I might have been able to prepare, but now I was a nervous wreck! I had no idea what to do!
I spent most of my time after that sitting on the sofa trying to calm myself down by watching TV. It didn't help. Finally, Stephanie came back in and did another quick check of my makeup before leaving again.
Now, I was just waiting for my cue to head for the stage. The show was supposed to start in 10 minutes, and I had no idea how to get out of performing. There wasn't anything I could do but step onto that stage and try to give the fans a good show. If only it were that easy.
"Are you ready, Princess?" Dad asked from beside me, causing me to jump. I hadn't even heard him come into my dressing room!
"No, Dad," I replied while standing up and immediately fighting to hold back the tears that threatened to come spilling out. I'd already had my makeup check. Stephanie would be upset if I messed it up now.
"Oh Megan," Dad comforted me by pulling me into a loving hug. Safe inside of my private dressing room, he could comfort me in the one way that nobody else here could. "You'll do fine - I promise. You're an amazing young woman. I'm so proud of what you've accomplished, and I know that this is just the beginning of many great things you will get to do in your life."
"I can't do this, Dad!" I whined back. "I'm going to mess up, and everyone will see."
"No, you won't," he replied. "I've watched you perform many times over the last three weeks. You're a natural performer. Once you get out there on the stage, you'll be fine. Trust me."
I heard his words, but there was no way he was telling me the truth. I'd never even make it to the stage at this rate.
"Come on," he said, releasing me from the hug and looking down at me with a loving expression. "Give it a try. You owe your fans that much. I went out to see your mom a few minutes ago, and there were a lot of people talking about you. They want to hear you nearly as much as they want to hear Josh."
That worked, because I laughed. There's no way that was the truth either. I was an unknown. I'd only had a song out for two weeks. Despite how high it had ranked in the charts, it was still only one song.
I nodded. I wasn't ready to do this, but I knew I didn't have a choice. I had to get out there on stage and perform. I had agreed to do it, and it was way too late to back out now.
I followed Dad out of my dressing room, and we started down the hall toward the doors at the end of the hall.
"Sarah!" I heard my name being called from behind me. I turned around and Josh was running up to where Dad and I had stopped.
"Hi, Josh," I said softly. I wasn't sure if this was going to help my state of mind at all.
"I just wanted to wish you luck," he said with a grin that started to melt my heart. "If you sing like you did this afternoon, they might like you better than they like me."
I laughed out loud. That was the funniest thing I had ever heard him say. But he continued to grin at me, and he accomplished the impossible. He lightened my heart. Perhaps I could do this after all. Josh seemed to think that I could.
"Thanks, Josh," I told him. "I really needed that."
"No problem," he said as if it was something he did all the time. "You're an excellent singer. You'll do great."
"We need to hurry, Sarah," Dad urged from behind me. With a small grin at Josh, I turned and followed my dad through the doors.
Once I had stepped outside, the nerves started to creep in again. It was loud and noisy. That meant that there were a lot of people waiting to hear me sing.
"You'll do fine," Dad comforted again when we stepped up and into the backstage area. I smiled at him, but he didn't follow me inside. I stopped and turned around. "I'm going to go watch with your mom, is that okay?"
"Of course," I replied immediately, but I didn’t mean it. I was hoping he would be there for me until I took the stage. It almost felt like he was abandoning me.
"Good luck," he said before stepping back out the door and walking toward the gate in the fence that led to the concession area and the seats.
Nervously, I walked through the backstage area to the side of the stage. The band and the girls were there waiting for me.
"Sarah!" Sophie yelled when I stepped into view. I didn't quite feel the same enthusiasm that she was displaying. "This is so exciting! We're going to be on stage!"
I hadn't ever seen her this excited before, and it made me smile.
"You look nervous," Connor told me with a sly grin. He looked amused at my discomfort.
"I'm scared to death," I told them truthfully.
"I remember what that was like," Jason stated. "The first time I stepped onto stage, I was sure that I was going to mess up big time. But I didn't, and you won't either. We won't let that happen, Sarah. We'll be there with you every step of the way."
"Yeah," Holly agreed, and the rest of them were nodding their heads. I smiled.
"Good, you're here," Jack, the show's coordinator interrupted as he approached us. "Are you ready to take the stage?"
"About as ready as I'll ever be," I replied, trying to keep my response positive to prevent him from seeing how nervous I was.
"Great," he said. "Band, you can take the stage now. Sarah, are you wired?"
"Yeah," I replied and then pulled my hair away from the side of my head to show him where the small ear bud was imbedded in my ear. The earpiece would allow me to hear the music and the band over the noise of the crowd. I was just happy that it was completely hidden by my hair.
"Good," he said and we watched as everybody walked out onto the stage to take their places. The nerves were really starting to take a toll on me again. This was it.
I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of disbelief. I was about to sing a concert! I had never in my life thought that I would be doing something like this before! And to go from having a voice that I tried to hide everyday to sharing it with not only the crowd here, but also millions across the nation when it was broadcast tomorrow...I was overwhelmed.
"Go, Sarah," Jack said from behind me, breaking my train of thought. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I could do this. I had to do this.
I opened my eyes and took a step forward. My heart started to beat faster with each step closer to my microphone that I took. The light in the late evening air shined down upon me, and the heat of the early summer was palpable. After three or four steps, the cheering started. I was overwhelmed by all the noise! It almost sounded like they were all here to see me!
Once I reached the microphone, I took another deep breath and turned to look at Jason. I nodded slightly, and then Jason and Stacy started playing the soft intro to ‘Rock Star’ immediately, just like we had discussed the day before. I provided the small part I was supposed to sing. But I thought I sounded nervous, and I hoped that the crowd couldn't hear it in my voice.
Shortly thereafter Stacy's drums led us into Jason's high energy guitar solo that set the mood for the song. After a few more seconds the first verse was upon me, and I was singing to the best of my ability.
And I was enjoying it!
I didn't even make it through the first verse before I could feel the smile spread across my lips, and I could feel the energy on the stage grow tenfold. I started moving to the song and a moment later I was happy to realize that I was doing what Kate, my choreographer, had drilled into my brain earlier in the week.
Then a buzz started to creep into my body and mind. The rush I felt when I performed was the one thing that I knew could help me through this experience. Normally I didn't feel it until after I had completed a song. But now, it was growing on its own. I could feel it gathering strength, and it pushed me onward as I started into the second verse and beyond.
When the second chorus came to an end, and we started in on the softer, less rock sounding interlude that followed, I realized that I was no longer nervous about being on stage! I could do this! I WAS doing this! I was performing a concert!
And I was loving it!
As the song started to come to an end, I truly started to understand and feel the words of the song. It was speaking to me in a way that it had never done before.
"I am a rock star," I sang truthfully for the first time in my life. Jason finished us up with another short guitar solo, and I capped the song with "Yeah!"
And then the rush crashed over me like a tidal wave.
I had never felt the way I felt at that moment ever before in my life. As the crowd started to roar, I couldn't keep the smile off my face, and the wonderful feeling flowed completely through me. Could this get any better?
"Good evening, Salt Lake City!" I yelled into the microphone when the noise started to die down, causing it to swell again.
"My name is Sarah Carerra," I said when the noise started to die down a second time. "How many of you, like me, are Hannah Montana fans?" The crowd roared again, just like I knew they would. Hannah/Miley, Josh, and I were all singing for the same target market. This was my crowd, and just like Scott said it would, singing one of her songs and mentioning her name seemed to be endearing me into their hearts.
"Now that she's helped us get to know each other, I was hoping that I could play a few of my own songs. Is that okay with all of you?" I asked the crowd, knowing what the answer was going to be. The fourth roar confirmed that they liked that idea, and I was pretty sure that I even heard a few people yelling at me to play 'Intuition'.
I looked out at the crowd, truly seeing them for the first time. I hadn't really taken the time to look before because I was so nervous. Now, I could see the people sitting way out on the grass, many more in the closer seats that made up most of the amphitheater, all leading to the pit between the seats and the stage that was filled to the brim with people standing and clamoring to get closer to me.
Right in the middle of the seating were the VIP sections. I tried in vain to pick out my mom, my dad, or even Austin. But I couldn't make them out from the stage. The umbrella we had used to shade us during lunch had been taken down, and I wasn't even sure I was looking in the right direction.
I was brought back to my surroundings by the loud beat of Stacy's drums and the chord from Jason's guitar that indicated the start of 'Pop Princess'. I had no choice but to focus on singing the song instead of searching for my family. I knew they were out there. Even if I couldn't see them, I could feel their love and support.
It was really weird to go from singing a song that made me sound like a rock star to a song that made me sound slightly like a stuck-up Hollywood celebrity. I liked the song, but Scott had definitely taken me out of my comfort zone when I recorded it. Dad had said that I sounded completely different when I sang it. I worried about his comment until he assured me that it was a good thing.
This time I pulled the microphone out of its stand and moved around the stage. I didn't have any real choreography or dance moves to follow, but I tried to move to the song and get the audience involved. The smiles that I could see on those close to the stage seemed to indicate that I was succeeding.
I sang about buying clothes at my favorite expensive store while I turned and stepped close to Jason. As I approached, he changed somehow, and started to move with me while he continued to play. I then took a few steps over to where Connor was playing the bass guitar while singing about taking my friends to a fancy restaurant. He started to do the same thing that Jason had done, and moved more with the music while he too continued to play the song.
I finished my tour of the stage by moving over to Sophie and Holly while singing about attending a movie premier before finishing the final chorus about the good life of a pop princess.
From rock star to pop princess, the crowd didn't care. They roared again as the last notes of the song faded into the background of the amphitheater, and I smiled for the crowd.
I had never in my life had as much fun as I was having up on that stage! Who would have known that performing would be such an adrenaline rush?! Even Scott's party couldn't compare, because I was way too nervous to have fun while singing for him the first time. But that night in Salt Lake City, I really understood where my true calling was. Sarah Carerra was not just a stage or a phase in my life. She was an integral part of me now. Even if the wig came off and everyone found out my real name, Sarah would take the stage any time I sang a song for an audience. She was the part of me who could sing and who enjoyed singing, and she wouldn't be going away.
As the cheers started to die down, I stepped over to the side of the stage where a stool was sitting. On top of the stool was a bottle of water, the one thing I needed most right then. The need to rehydrate my throat was far more pressing than the desire to continue the rush. Singing in the studio was one thing, but singing on stage was a completely new experience. Somehow, I was putting that extra zing on the songs, and that required more workout from my voice than I was used to.
The water did the trick, and after a few sips I was ready to continue.
"Girls, I'm sure you'll understand exactly what I'm going to sing about next," I told the audience with a sly grin as I walked back to the microphone stand and replaced the microphone. "Guys, you should too, but I think it will require you to 'Open Your Eyes'."
The soft strum of Connor's bass hung in the air for the briefest of moments before Jason cut in with a light, carefree melody that touched my heart immediately. I had been told earlier that I would be able to watch Josh perform on the TV in my dressing room through a closed-circuit system. I could only assume that he was watching me now, and for the second time that day, I could only hope that he would listen to the words of my song.
I flowed naturally into the first verse, the one that talked about the guy of my dreams, and the biggest problem in my life: He didn't know I existed. I could feel the heartache that the song was meant to imbue, and I knew that it was transferred to the crowd. When I had recorded this song in the studio, it was just a song. But now, it had a real meaning to me. I was learning quickly that the songs that meant something to me were the ones that people really enjoyed hearing me sing. 'Ever After' and to a lesser extent 'Enchanted Forest' were the same way. When I had an emotional tie to the music, Scott said I shined.
I finished singing through the first verse, and the heavy, more forceful sound of the chorus kicked in where I vented all of my frustrations about the situation before it calmed once again and I softly sung "Open your eyes, see me."
Then it repeated. The second verse spoke of the awkwardness I felt around him, and how I couldn't seem to escape the draw he had on me. I sung about how I hoped and prayed for some way to express my feelings to him, without any knowledge about what to do.
Then I vented my frustrations again in the second chorus, before once again begging him to open his eyes. I was right there in front of him; all he needed to do was look.
But the next part was my favorite part of the song. With only a soft, simple melody backing my words, I expressed my true feelings to him. I opened my heart to him.
And he saw me.
I then immediately cut to the chorus again. But this time, instead of pent up frustrations giving a slightly negative tone to the music, I sang the words with an upbeat, positive tone. But the words were slightly changed. The message was no longer of what I was missing from my dream guy, but what we shared together.
The song then began to wind down, and with a soft touch that almost felt like a caress on the lips, Jason played the last note as I blew the audience a kiss.
The cheers rose again as I stepped back over to the stool and picked up the water bottle. The first two harsh choruses certainly had made my throat dry. But I had a tear in my eye as I took a few sips before placing it back on the stool. If only Josh would open his eyes...
With a soft sigh I turned back to the crowd.
"Young girls these days have a lot of pressures placed on them," I said once I got back to the microphone. "But we need to take control of our lives and live them our own way. Don't let the media tell you what to do or who to be; decide for yourself. I don't know about you girls, but 'I Just Wanna Have Fun'."
The tandem beat from Stacy's drums and Connor's guitar sent the speakers around the amphitheater pounding as I removed the microphone from its stand and began to bounce along with the bass. Jason joined in a few seconds later with a riff that filled the gaps between the two bass notes, and I soon followed with my vocals about the many things the media tries to force on young girls these days, and how I wasn't going to take it.
This song was fun. It was fun to listen to, it was fun to dance to, and it was fun to sing. The people in the pit between the stage and the first row of seats started bouncing along with me, and together we turned the atmosphere electric.
The song was fast paced, and provided me with an excellent opportunity to approach the edge of the stage and touch some of the many hands that reached up as I moved from one side to the other. Cheers rose up as I neared, and the dancing took on a frenetic pace when I had passed by.
I returned to the area near the microphone stand as the third verse started, and gazed out at the crowd. Everyone was swaying to the beat now. I could see people all the way in the back, sitting on their blankets on the grass behind the seats moving from side to side. Up closer, I saw a young girl of maybe three or four bouncing around on her father's lap while her older sister did the same thing in front of her own seat.
We continued the frenetic pace until the end of the song, and when I sang the final "I just wanna have fun!" followed by the final loud drum and bass note, the rush I had been feeling all evening hit its peak. The large crowd erupted again with the loudest cheers I had heard yet.
I basked in the wonderful feel for a moment before I placed the microphone back into the stand and stepped over to the stool. This time after taking a sip, I picked up the stool along with the water and moved it over to where the microphone was. I placed it right in the middle of the stage before turning to the Usana worker who had come out on stage holding my guitar.
"Thank you," I told him with a smile as I accepted the guitar and placed the strap around my neck. I then turned back to the crowd and took a seat on the stool. The worker bent down and pulled the cord to the sound system out from under the hidden access plate next to the base of the microphone stand and handed it to me. After plugging it into my guitar, I gave it a quick strum and heard the tone echo throughout the amphitheater.
I then looked out at the crowd. They had quieted down now, and most of them had returned to their seats, eagerly anticipating what was coming next.
"This next song is very special to me," I told them. A tightness gripped my chest, and I was at a loss for words for a moment. "I wrote this song with my best friend. I've known her since I was two years old, and we've done everything together."
I did my best to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out now. I barely succeeded.
"This is the first concert I've ever performed," I told the audience. "I wish with all of my heart that she could have been here tonight. But even if she isn't here in body, I know she's here in spirit. I'd like to dedicate this next song to her. 'Ever After', Chloe. Always."
Without any other thought, I started playing. The band fell in immediately, anticipating my playing much better than I would have been able to reciprocate. We played through the short instrumental that opened the song, and right on cue I started the first verse that introduced the young princess the song was about.
If I thought I had an emotional tie to 'Open Your Eyes' earlier, then I was kidding myself. Nothing was ever going to come between Emily and me. We'd known each other for too long to have our friendship fall apart. Not even keeping Sarah from her would have accomplished that. It might have seemed rough these last few weeks, but we never would have been apart for long.
Playing this song now, with thoughts and wishes for her to be present to hear it, gave me an emotional rendition that I was certain was felt by everyone who was present. The only thing that held back my tears was the knowledge that I would be able to sit next to her tomorrow night as we watched a replay of the concert on TV. I would still get to share that moment with her; it just wasn't now.
The song started to pick up as Jason joined me on the main tune at the beginning of the first chorus, adding a second melody to the mix. I sang about the girl's desires to escape the evil king, her dad, who had imprisoned her in his castle on the night of her destiny, the prom. She was worried, but she hoped her prince would come to rescue her.
The song then dropped back to the simple melody that it started with as I started singing the second verse. The girl looked out the window of her high tower above the garage, overlooking the driveway far below. The knight was nowhere to be seen when the song ramped back up into the second chorus. But she wasn't worried. She knew that her prince was coming.
The song fell into the simple melody a third time, before changing tune slightly to an upbeat tone when she saw her knight ride up in his white steed, a Ford Mustang. Immediately the drawbridge opened and a foul beast rushed out to attack the knight. But the beast seemed to know better than to do its master's bidding, and the black Labrador looked more ready to play than to attack the knight.
But it didn't matter. The knight sidestepped the dog and plunged his sword straight into the heart of the king by handing a single white rose to the crone at the king's side. The girl's mother instantly transformed into the beauty she once was, and her magic flowed toward the king, restoring him to his goodly throne and he turned to call for the girl.
The spell had been broken, and the song ramped up for the final time while she rushed down the stairs and into the arms of her waiting prince, where she will stay, happily ever after.
The noise of the crowd at the end of that song came and went, and I hardly heard it. I couldn't believe that Emily wasn't here for this. 'Ever After' was as much her song as it was mine, and she deserved to have this moment. I would have given almost anything to have her there on stage with me.
But alas, it was not to be. With silence the only thing in my head, despite the cheering coming from the crowd, I unplugged my guitar and handed it back to the worker who had come from backstage to retrieve it. I moved the stool back to where it had been and took the time to rejuvenate my vocal chords with another sip of water.
My heart was heavy, but I knew that I needed to shrug it off and finish this concert with a bang. I stepped up to the microphone for the final time that evening.
"Thank you, everyone," I told them with sincerity. "This has been an amazing evening. I know that most of you are here to see Josh perform, but I'm glad that you were willing to let me sing a few songs for you too. If you knew who I was before tonight, then chances are you know my final song of the evening. If not, then trust your 'Intuition'."
A small cheer rang through the crowd as I stepped back and turned toward the band. I made eye contact with each and every one of them, smiling broadly to let them know how much I appreciated them before turning back toward the crowd, waiting for my final cue.
I poured everything I could into that song. All of the emotions that remained from 'Ever After' were redirected back into 'Intuition'. I had never sung this song with as much emotion before. 'Intuition' had never truly been my song, because it was given to me by the record company, and because I hadn't had much say in how it was supposed to sound.
But during the concert, it became MY song. When I saw how the crowd reacted to it, I knew for certain that I did have a say in how the song sounded. I had the ultimate say. But even so, I embraced the sound that had been impressed upon me by Scott and the record company. They knew what they were doing, and they had turned me into a star with this song.
I sang through the verses with an exuberance that I'd never had before, and the crowd reacted in turn. The smiles on the faces of the people closest to the stage were wider than I had seen them all evening, and the excitement in the air was at an all time high.
When the song came to an end, the crowd erupted in cheers. I felt elated at their response, but deep down inside I wished Emily and Ethan could have been there to share it with me. Sarah was going to be a big part of our lives for a long time to come, and they deserved to be here. It just wasn't the same without them.
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I stood in the lounge talking to a few of the fans who had backstage passes. Apparently "mingling" was expected after one of Josh's concerts. It was interesting to talk to some of them, and I even signed a few autographs.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 41 - Backstage Pass by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: June 28, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Chapter 41 - Backstage Pass
"You were awesome!" Sophie said as the girls and I stepped out of the backstage area and made our way toward the building with the dressing rooms. I was disappointed to come off stage and not have Dad there, but I knew it would only be a few minutes before he would bring Mom and Austin backstage to see me.
"I couldn't have done it without you guys," I told the two girls truthfully. I wish the guys had been there to hear that too, but they had to dismantle their equipment to allow Josh's band to set up.
"Nonsense," Holly replied while we stepped into a small lounge area that my band and Josh's band had been using as a waiting area. "This is like, your destiny or something. You're so good on stage! I never could have done what you just did. We're just along for the ride."
I smiled at her while I sat down on one of the soft chairs and closed my eyes. The rush was still going strong, and I basked in the overwhelming feeling that continued to radiate through me.
Tonight had truly been amazing. I knew with certainty now that this was what I was going to be doing for a living. Whether as Sarah or as Megan, singing would be a big part of my life. I enjoyed it too much not to sing.
"Sarah!" Dad said excitedly when he entered the room a few moments later. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, smiling with all my heart.
"I'll talk to you in a bit," I told Sophie and Holly while I stood up. They nodded their understanding, and I stepped out of the room and followed Dad down the hall to my dressing room. Once we were inside and the door was locked, he wrapped me in a hug.
"You were amazing, Megan!" Dad exclaimed as he leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I am so proud of you!"
"Thank you, Dad," I replied with a loving smile. I was so happy that my family was here. But... "Where are Mom and Austin?"
"They're still out in the VIP section," he told me. I frowned. Why wouldn't he bring them backstage? I wanted to see them! "We'd like you to come out and join us to watch Josh perform."
I looked at him incredulously. Come out into the crowd? I didn't think that pop stars did that.
He laughed lightly before speaking again. "Don't give me that look," he said. "The VIP section is pretty private, and you won't have many people trying to get to you. Besides, Annie was the one who offered the invitation. You wouldn't want to let down Josh's mother, would you?"
I laughed this time. No, I didn't want to let her down. I still had hope that Josh and I would find a way to be together. Staying on his mother's good side could only help the situation.
"Okay," I told him.
"Great!" He said excitedly. "I'm going to walk back out there. Jack has provided a golf cart that will shuttle you through the crowd. When you're ready, come on out."
"I'll come out with you," I said excitedly. I really wanted to see my mom.
"No," he contradicted. "Stephanie will want to make sure that your makeup is still okay, and you should probably get something to eat first. You spent a lot of energy this evening, and you need to replenish some of it. Once you've done that, we'll be waiting for you."
He smiled at me and gave me another short hug before opening the door to reveal Stephanie waiting for her chance to get at me. "I'll see you in a bit," he said before stepping out the door. Once again I felt alone as he walked away. I wanted to share this with my family, but his words made sense.
"Hungry?" I asked Stephanie before turning toward the table that was filled with food. Dad was right, I did need to eat something.
I was really nervous when I climbed into the golf cart 20 minutes later. Twenty long minutes where I yearned to give my mom, and even Austin, a hug. I really needed them right then, but instead I'd had a bite to eat with Stephanie and the girls before Stephanie touched up my makeup. Now I was finally heading out into the crowd.
And that was what scared me. I hadn't caused much of a scene in public before. People didn't really know who I was yet. But this crowd did. I'd just performed a 30 minute concert for them. They were going to recognize me immediately.
"Are you ready?" the driver asked when I stepped into the golf cart. His name tag said he was Wally.
"I guess so," I replied.
Wally honked the horn of the golf cart and the gate in the fence we had gone through at lunch time was pushed open from the other side by a security guard.
"Thanks, Dave," Wally told the security guard as he slowly moved the cart out into the crowded concession area. With 45 minutes between my show and when Josh was scheduled to take the stage, it looked like a prime time for people to pick up some refreshments.
We inched through the crowd, slowly making our way toward Josh's VIP section. It wasn't until we reached the seating area that I was recognized.
"Sarah Carerra!" someone yelled from nearby. Within seconds everyone was looking at me. I waved back at the crowd, and gave people high fives as the cart continued its slow trek toward my family.
Eventually, we reached a relatively clear area where the entrances to the different VIP sections were, and the crowd thinned as people went back to what they were doing. When I was able to step out of the cart at the entrance to Josh's section, my mom was already there, and I rushed into her arms. At that moment I didn't care what anyone else thought about me hugging my manager's wife. My mom was here, and I was going to give her a hug.
"You were amazing, Megan," she whispered into my ear as she squeezed me tightly. "You truly have a gift. I'm glad I was here to see you use it."
"Thank you, Mom," I whispered back. "I would have died if I didn't know you were out here."
She let go of our hug and held me at arm's length, admiring me. "You're an amazing young woman, Sarah. I'm so proud of you."
I opened my mouth to return the gratitude, but was interrupted by Austin before I could say anything.
"That was awesome!" he exclaimed. I turned toward him. He looked like he was having the time of his life.
"Thanks, Austin," I replied, giving him a loving smile. I would have done more, but that would have been even more odd than me hugging Mom right then. Dad smiled at me for a moment, and then he stepped aside.
"Chloe!" I screamed in shock! Emily was here, and Ethan!
"What are you doing here?!" I screamed while wrapping her in the type of hug I wished I could give everybody else. At least with Emily, it wasn't out of place. Without giving her a chance to speak, I was talking again. "I can't believe you're here! Why didn't you tell me?!"
"And miss such a sweet dedication," she said laughing. I laughed along with her. I was so happy that she was able to hear the song! This was amazing! "Your agent told us not to tell you. He wanted to make up for not, well, you know. We flew on the same flight with his wife and Austin."
I nodded. There was no sense in voicing anything regarding the secret. It was enough that they were here. "Didn't we learn through all of this not to keep secrets from each other?" I asked with a mock glare.
She laughed again. "Unlike yours, this one was worth it." I laughed with her before turning toward Ethan.
"Xander," I said. "Thanks for being here."
"You were amazing!" Ethan replied in awe. He had spent Thursday with me while I was dressed as Sarah, but I could still see that look in his eyes. He was in love with Sarah still.
That was when I did something that completely surprised me. I leaned up on my tippy-toes, and kissed his cheek.
"Thank you," I told him quietly. But something had changed in our relationship. We both felt it. I was sure even Emily could feel it. There was a spark of something there, something that scared me immensely. The thought of having feelings for Ethan was something that I didn't know how to deal with, but it wouldn't be long until we had to do just that.
"Oh my gosh!" Amanda interrupted us, no longer able to wait her turn. I was happy for the interruption. I didn't know what was going on with Ethan anymore, and it was easier to not think about it. "You are like the best singer ever!"
I laughed at her enthusiasm. She really was one of my biggest fans.
"Thank you, Amanda," I told her truthfully.
"What was it like?" Emily asked, and everyone looked at me expectantly. I smiled, remembering the wonderful feeling that being on stage had invoked in me.
"It was one of the best experiences of my life," I told them. "The feelings, the rush I felt while performing...it was amazing. I'd give almost anything to do it again."
"Don't worry, Sarah," Dad said. "You'll get your chance."
I smiled at him. Those were some of the best words I had ever heard in my life.
"Come meet my family!" Amanda exclaimed, causing the small circle of my friends and family who had formed around me to break up. Through the gaps I saw many people watching us from inside Josh's section. Beyond them many others were watching from the adjoining sections that were only separated by a waist high barrier. They looked surprised to see me so close.
I followed Amanda into the VIP section, allowing her to lead me past my family and friends to hers. Annie was the first to get to me, wrapping me in a short, friendly hug before speaking.
"You gave an excellent performance, Sarah," she told me with a smile. "I can see why Josh likes you."
I winced at her comment.
"Mom!" Amanda hissed, reminding her mother that Josh no longer had eyes for me. "Shhh!"
A frown crossed Annie's face before she spoke again. "I'm sorry, Sarah."
"It's okay," I replied with a forced smile. "And thank you for letting me come watch him sing with your family."
"The pleasure is ours, Sarah," Annie said with another smile.
"Wait," a boy said from nearby. I looked over at him and he had to be one of Josh's brothers. They looked a lot alike, but he looked a couple of years older. "Are you saying that Josh turned down a chance to be with Sarah Carerra?"
"Shhhh!" Amanda intoned immediately. "Please don't talk about that with her here!"
I laughed at the way Amanda was trying to protect me. She really had a sweet heart.
"It's okay, Amanda," I told her before turning toward her brother. "Josh has his eye on somebody else right now."
Josh's brother looked shocked, and the expression was shared with three other boys nearby.
"Josh is an idiot," one of the boys commented, causing me to chuckle.
"Sarah," Amanda interrupted before they could continue that line of discussion. "This is my dad, my brother Jeremy, my cousin..."
I listened as she introduced me to everyone, and I greeted them warmly. But I couldn't remember any of their names five minutes later. They were all really nice, and made me feel welcome in their group, but there were too many names to remember.
Eventually, I took a seat between Emily and Ethan to watch Josh take the stage. When I saw him, my heart skipped a beat. Beside me, Ethan tensed at my reaction.
Just before Josh's last song, I was whisked away from my family and sent backstage. I managed to bring Emily and Ethan with me, but the rest were going to have to make their way on foot. At least everyone had a backstage pass and would be able to join me.
I stood in the lounge talking to a few of the fans who had backstage passes. Apparently "mingling" was expected after one of Josh's concerts. It was interesting to talk to some of them, and I even signed a few autographs.
It was a whirlwind of activity and I turned my head from conversation to conversation without really understanding what was being discussed. Everyone wanted to talk to me, but I couldn't keep track of all the conversations going on around me at once. I just kept a smile on my face and answered any direct questions posed to me, and that seemed to be enough. I think most of them were just happy to be hanging with Josh and me, and the rest was just gravy.
That lasted for about 45 minutes before I was finally able to break away from the crowd. I found my family and friends sitting on a couch near the door. They looked bored and tired, but they smiled as I approached.
"Finally! I'm starved!" Austin said.
"Didn't you guys get anything to eat from my dressing room?" I asked. I had previously told them they were welcome to the food in there.
"We didn't want to impose," Mom told me. I grimaced. There was way more food in there than I was going to eat before the end of the night. They should have gone and had some while waiting for me.
"Come on, then," I replied. They stood up and I led them down to my dressing room. There was still plenty of food on the table, and it should suffice for them.
"Ew, gross," Austin commented when he stepped in behind me. "Your dressing room is all girly."
I laughed. His reaction was the exact opposite of mine. I really liked my dressing room.
"Yeah, well, this is where the food is," I said, smiling. He grinned, but he looked around warily. I was beginning to wonder if he was worried about his own masculinity now. His big brother turned out to be his big sister. What did that mean about him?
I held Austin back while the rest of my friends and family headed for the food.
"You know this isn't going to happen to you, right?" I asked him, looking directly into his eyes. Immediately, I saw his worry.
"Oh Austin," I sighed and wrapped him in a hug. "I promise this won't happen to you, okay? I've always been a girl, but you aren't!"
"How do you know?" he whined, and I could see him holding back the tears. I knew that he was trying to prevent himself from looking feminine by crying, especially while we were having this talk.
"I just know," I promised him. "I knew I was a girl, too. Deep down, I knew. I didn't realize it until a few weeks ago, but I knew. Do you think you are a girl?"
"No!" he adamantly said. "I'm not!"
"See? If you don't think you are, then you aren't," I told him.
"But you didn't know for sure! What if I don't either?" he cried. I felt so sorry that I had brought these feelings on him. He never should have had to suffer because of what I was going through.
"Look," I said, then I waited for him to lift his eyes and make eye contact with me again. "If you're really worried, we can have you tested. I'm sure Mom and Dad would be willing to do it. But if they don't, I'll pay for it myself, okay?"
"Okay," he said, and he looked happier. "I love you, Megan. But I don't want to be a girl."
"I love you too, Austin," I told him. "And I promise that what I've gone through won't happen to you. You're my little brother, and you always will be."
"Okay," he said again. This time, he had a smile on his face. I nodded at him and he hurried to get some food too.
I looked over at the most important people in my life as they filled their plates with food. Mom caught my eye, and I knew she had overheard us. But she smiled to show me she appreciated what I had done for him.
My family was the best, and that included both Emily and Ethan. I wouldn't be where I was today without them, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
"Megan?" I heard Emily whisper softly from behind me. "What are you doing?"
I looked at the clock. It read 3:18. With a soft sigh I turned away from the hotel window where Cutey and I were staring at the lights of Salt Lake Valley and the distant mountains. Well, I was looking out the window. Cutey was just swimming around in his bowl. It seemed so peaceful out there. I looked over at the couch’s pull out bed that Emily had been sleeping on. She was sitting up and staring at me like I had lost my mind.
"I couldn't sleep," I told her truthfully. I'd been lying in my large, king-sized bed for nearly two hours before I'd gotten up. Emily immediately looked concerned and climbed out of her bed, her soft nightie probably not providing her much warmth in the air conditioned room.
"What's wrong?" she said when she sat down next to me and looked out the window to see what I had been staring at. I unwrapped myself from the blanket I had thrown over my own soft sleep pants and top, and she snuggled up next to me and wrapped the blanket back around us. I sighed, and we leaned our heads together.
"Absolutely nothing," I whispered to her. "Everything is so right! I don't want it to end!"
She giggled next to me. "How long have you been staring out the window?"
"About half an hour," I told her. "It's so peaceful. Everything seems so peaceful right now. Emily, this was one of the best days of my life. I've never felt like this before."
"Megan," Emily sighed. "You are amazing, you know that? I never could have done what you did tonight. You'd never get me up on stage like that. But tonight, I saw just how much this affects you. Just before you started singing 'Ever After', you had me in tears. I've never met anyone like you, and I am so grateful that I can call you my friend."
"Thanks, Emily," I replied. "I love you too."
She laughed lightly. "This is only the beginning," she told me. "I think you've got an exciting ride ahead of you, and I'm glad I get to be there with you. I had a hard time keeping the knowledge that I was going to be here a secret. I can partially understand how hard it must have been for you to keep Sarah a secret from me."
She lifted her head and I turned toward her.
"We're sisters now," she stated. "And that means that you always have someone here for you, just like you'll always be there for me. Whatever happens, we can get through it together."
"Thanks, Emily," I smiled back at her. I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I wrapped her in a hug.
She was right. No matter what happened, my family and I would get through it together.
The Good and the Bad
It's been an amazing journey. I started writing Sarah Carerra just shy of a year ago as a break to the frustrating sequel to my first story, A Flower's Bloom. Now, it predominates my writing, and much like you, I can't wait to see what happens next.
This is not the end of Sarah Carerra. The first five chapters of book 2 have already been sent to my editor and the next five aren't far behind. However, it is going to be a few weeks before I'm able to start posting more from Sarah's life. I regret there has to be a break, but that's the way life is sometimes.
In the meantime, I do plan to start posting an updated version of A Flower's Bloom. It's a different type of story than Sarah Carerra, and is slightly more mature in content, but it is a fun story. The sequel is coming along well too. I had hoped to finish it quickly after I finished writing Sarah Carerra Book 1 at the beginning of May, but it took long enough that I had to abandon it once again if I was going to keep this break between SC 1 and 2 as short as possible. I get to work on it every once in a while, and I hope those fans waiting for it will be patient with me.
Thank you for all of your support. I enjoy writing Sarah Carerra, but it is seeing and hearing the wonderful, and not so wonderful, comments that have been left that keep me posting it. I am addicted to feedback! Writing is a hobby for me, but the fans make it worthwhile.
It's the end for now, but there are many great things still to come.
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Sneak peak, now available.
Sarah Carerra
Book 2: Summer Medley Preview by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: July 19, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
It's taking me longer than I had hoped to get the second book in Sarah Carerra ready for posting, but it's coming along well. I'm waiting on the last piece from my editor now. When he's done, I should have enough written to continue to post every week while writing the rest.
For now, I wanted to give you a sneak peak of the new book, and let you know that it is coming soon. Enjoy.
- Megan
Book 2: Summer Medley - Preview
I had planned to go over to Emily's house for the afternoon after we arrived home, but Dad asked me to sit down on the couch in the front room while he went to get my mother. I didn't know what was going on, but it sounded like I was in for a serious talk. We hadn't had one of these in quite a while.
Eventually, my parents came in and Mom sat down next to me while Dad sat down in his normal chair.
“Am I in trouble?” I asked worriedly. I didn't think I had done anything wrong.
"No, honey," my mom replied with a smile that instantly put me at ease. "This is about your surgery."
"Oh," I said. The worry that had just left me came flooding back tenfold. The doctors had determined that I was genetically female, but I did not have what was normal for a girl between my legs. They wanted me to undergo surgery to create the external genitalia that someone would expect me to have.
I wanted this surgery. I really, really wanted this surgery. But the thought of having it also scared me to death. I'd only ever had major surgery once before. When I was 10, my family was in a car accident and I had lost much of what had led doctors to pronounce me to be male at birth. Brett, the boy I had been before that accident, died that day. I didn't know it for six years, but that was the day that Megan had been born. She wasn't complete yet, but this surgery would finish the job.
"If it's okay with you, we'd like to schedule the surgery for a week from tomorrow," Dad said.
A week from tomorrow! That was so soon! I didn't know if I was ready for this to happen that quickly! I knew that my doctor felt that I should have the surgery as soon as possible to prevent any problems that might be caused by me having a period, but I was still shocked that it would happen so soon.
"Are you okay?" Mom asked from beside me. When I met her gaze, she looked really worried.
"Yeah," I replied. "It's just...it's scary!"
She immediately reached around me and wrapped me in a hug. "Oh, honey," she said. "I know that this is scary, but you need to have it soon."
"I know," I told her. "And I want it. But..."
"I understand," she interrupted me before I could find the words to describe my feelings. This was a big step. Mom held me in that hug for a few minutes while I came to terms with what they had told me. It wouldn't be long before my body matched my new driver's license.
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It had only been three weeks since I had sung karaoke at Johnny's party. His dad, Scott, worked for a record company, and I was signed within a week. Well, Sarah was signed within a week. Sarah Carerra was originally meant to be a way for me to keep my normal life out of the spotlight. But I had learned that Sarah was now an integral part of me. She was the part of me that loved to sing, that loved to perform.
Sarah Carerra
Book 2 - Summer Medley by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: August 2, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
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It had only been three weeks since I had sung karaoke at Johnny's party. His dad, Scott, worked for a record company, and I was signed within a week. Well, Sarah was signed within a week. Sarah Carerra was originally meant to be a way for me to keep my normal life out of the spotlight. But I had learned that Sarah was now an integral part of me. She was the part of me that loved to sing, that loved to perform.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.01 - Concert Reviews by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: August 2, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.01 - Concert Reviews
"Megan, wake up," someone said, and I was shaken lightly while lying in my bed. I groaned. I wanted to sleep for a lot longer. I'd been running at full steam for nearly a week, and now that the concert I had opened for Josh Holliday was over, I had started to crash.
"Megan," the voice repeated before I was shaken again. "The concert is about to start!"
That gave me more of a drive to get out of bed. As soon as we'd arrived home after the early morning flight, I'd changed back into my pajamas and dove into bed. Staying up late the night before hadn't helped matters any. But they were replaying my concert on TV tonight, and I definitely wanted to watch it.
I opened my eyes and groaned again. It was Emily, my best friend, trying to awaken me, and she was giving me a big smile, one of those smiles that are hard to say no to.
"What time is it?" I asked her before looking over at my alarm clock. The digits read 7:52.
"Come on," Emily said now that I was awake. "Your mom has food ready too. Come eat and watch your concert with us."
I groaned again, but I swung my legs out of my bed and stood up. I wasn't completely rested, but I felt better than I had earlier in the morning.
I stepped over to my vanity and peered at my image. I didn't look too bad. I'd fallen asleep wearing my makeup, but it didn't look like it had rubbed off much. After I quickly brushed my dark brown hair, I felt that I was presentable enough to leave my room.
I turned back toward the door. Emily was still standing there.
"Bathroom," I told her, and she nodded.
"I'll meet you in the kitchen." I returned her nod and followed her out the door, but veered into the bathroom before joining them in the kitchen.
"Hi, honey," Mom said and gave me a hug. "Feeling better?"
"Yeah," I replied. "But I still feel like I could sleep for days."
She laughed, but gave me a loving smile. "You've been so busy for the last week, that I'm not surprised. Grab some dinner and come into the front room."
"Okay," I replied and grabbed a plate and started filling it up.
Once I had my food, I joined Emily at the door to the kitchen and we stepped through into the front room, where the TV was already on. It looked like some entertainment news show was currently running. I knew that the concert was not being replayed on one of the big broadcast networks, but I still couldn't believe that I was going to be performing on TV!
"We saved you the middle!" my brother Austin yelled from the couch. I smiled broadly. Not only was my whole family here, but they had also saved me the best seat, right in front of the TV, and right next to where Emily had sat down.
"Thank you," I told Austin and set my plate on the small coffee table. We rarely ate in this room, but apparently Mom was making an exception for tonight.
The only person missing was Ethan, who was my other best friend. Emily and I had met when she moved into the house next door when I was two, and we'd befriended Ethan in kindergarten. He had to go to a family dinner tonight, but at least he was there last night and got to see me on stage.
I sat down, waiting for the concert to start, and thought back to where my life had taken me over the last few weeks. Learning that I truly was female had been a huge shock, but one that I was starting to cope with. It was almost easier to cope with that than it was to cope with all of the ‘Sarah Carerra’ stuff that had taken over much of my life.
It had only been three weeks since I had sung karaoke at Johnny's party. His dad, Scott, worked for a record company, and I was signed within a week. Well, Sarah was signed within a week. Sarah Carerra was originally meant to be a way for me to keep my normal life out of the spotlight. But I had learned that Sarah was now an integral part of me. She was the part of me that loved to sing, that loved to perform.
Despite my exhaustion after the many days of hard work that I had gone through during the last week, I wouldn't trade it for anything. The choreography lessons, the studio sessions with the band, the concert itself...I still couldn't believe that this was my life!
"Are you okay?" Mom asked me while taking a seat on a chair next to Dad.
I looked up at her and smiled. "Yes," I replied. "I've never been better. I was just thinking about how amazing my life has become. I really love you guys."
"Oh, honey," my mom replied. "You know we'll always be here for you. We love you too."
I smiled again when I noticed that everyone else in the room was nodding agreement.
"Did you hear the good news?" Austin asked excitedly. I shook my head. I was totally oblivious to everything while I slept in my room throughout the day.
"Intuition was #1 on the countdown!" he continued excitedly.
"What?" I screamed in excitement at the same time that I felt a small sliver of despair. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah!" he replied. "You beat out Josh!"
And that was the cause of the despair. Despite the immense success of Josh's career over the last three years, he had never managed to have a number one song. He'd had many number two's, but it wasn't until three weeks ago, the week that Sarah Carerra came into existence, that he had finally hit the top of the charts.
Now, after only two weeks of being on top, I had pushed him down to second. This was definitely a blow to my plan to win him back. Despite any feelings he may or may not have for Sarah, I knew he wouldn't be happy about this. He'd been jealous when we talked about how we got started in the music business when he had taken me to dinner, just before I was his date at the Tween Awards. Now, I could picture that jealousy flaring up again.
"What's wrong?" Emily asked, seeing the frown that had crossed my lips.
"Nothing," I replied. But she didn't buy that explanation and glared at me. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep this from her. "It's just...I mean...I pulled Josh off the top! He'll never want to get back together now!"
Emily started laughing, which only made me feel worse.
"Megan!" she exclaimed. "Get real! Your first song is on top of the charts, and after only two weeks! Celebrate! We can worry about Josh later."
I grinned sheepishly, and then nodded my head. She was right. I may have already lost Josh anyway; so I should enjoy this moment for what it was. "'Intuition' was really #1?"
"Yes, Megan." This time the response came from my dad, who was also my agent and manager. I smiled back at him. I couldn't believe that it would become that big of a hit so quickly!
"Wow," I replied and sank back into the couch. I had a number one hit!
"Congratulations," Mom said, and I returned her smile with a short laugh.
"I can't believe this is happening," I told her.
"I can," she replied. "After watching you last night...I can."
"It's starting!" Austin interrupted. I turned toward the TV, and the program began with an intro to Josh's concert "with special guest, Sarah Carerra."
It then cut to a scene of Josh. It looked like a studio backdrop. It had to have been recorded before the concert. He welcomed everyone to the concert presentation, spoke for a moment on what to expect, and then did something totally unexpected by me.
He said, "Please welcome my good friend, Sarah Carerra."
Immediately, they cut to the start of 'Rock Star' and I watched mesmerized as I performed on stage. I wondered...I wondered if Josh still felt those words. Did he still consider me to be his friend after I had toppled his first number one single?
I tried not to, but I couldn't help but think of Josh throughout the night as we watched the replay of the concert. He'd given me this opportunity and what had I given to him in return?
Watching the concert was completely different from performing it. I had a small exhilaration while we watched when I felt some of the 'rush' at the memories that I could add to the images that I was seeing on screen. I choked up as I watched myself sing 'Open Your Eyes'. I smiled at the fun the crowd and I were having as I sang 'I Just Wanna Have Fun'. I started to cry and held Emily closer when I dedicated 'Ever After' to her. I watched the change in me where 'Intuition' became my song, and not just the one the studio wanted me to sing.
By the end of the night, I was mesmerized at my ability to actually perform a concert. I had been so nervous before stepping on that stage, but now the thought of getting back up there and performing again was one of exhilaration. I couldn't wait for my next opportunity to perform!
After the concert had ended and Emily had gone home, I excused myself from my family. I still needed sleep.
"How do you know this guy?" I asked my dad as we walked toward the entrance to the office of his friend the following morning. I still wasn't sure what part of the government he worked for.
"He's helped some of my other clients update their information," he replied. "Not all of them are using their real names."
"Oh," I replied. We'd talked about updating my license and other documentation to reflect my new gender and identity. Nevertheless, I was very nervous that someone could prevent me from changing anything. I'd already proven that I was biologically female, but the government didn't always see things the way their citizens did.
"Don't worry, Megan," Dad tried to put my concerns to rest. "I've known him for a long time. There won't be any problems."
I grinned back at him, but I was still nervous as we walked inside.
"Don Campbell to see John Shepherd," my dad told a receptionist. She turned toward her computer and pressed a few keys.
"He's expecting you," she replied. "Do you know where his office is?"
"Yes," Dad said confidently.
"You can go on back," the receptionist continued.
Dad smiled at her and then led me down a nondescript corridor to a nondescript office. Whoever this guy was, he wasn't anything more than a cog in the wheel.
The door was open, and a slightly balding man with dark hair and a five o'clock shadow looked up at us.
"Don," he said with a grin as he recognized my dad. "It's good to see you again."
"Hi, John," Dad replied. "It's been a while."
"Come in, come in," the guy continued, waving his right arm in a gesture meant to reinforce his words. He stayed seated at his desk the whole time.
I followed my dad into the office and sat down on one of the cheap looking chairs in front of his desk. The guy, John, was looking at me closely while I sat.
"John, this is my daughter, Megan," Dad said after he was settled.
"It's nice to meet you, Megan," John replied, sticking his hand out for me to shake.
"It's nice to meet you too," I replied. He seemed friendly enough, but I didn't like the way he kept looking at me. It seemed wrong, somehow, but I didn’t know why.
He turned back toward my dad. "Do you have the letter?" he asked.
"Yes," Dad replied and pulled an envelope from his day planner before handing it to the man.
John opened the envelope and removed the letter that Dr. Holbrook, the gender specialist I had been seeing, had written for me. Dad had let me read it, and it was a straight-forward declaration of my true sex. It clearly stated that I was genetically female, and not the male that I had been declared at birth. He quickly read through the document before returning it to the envelope and handing it back to my dad.
"Alright," John said. He then turned toward his computer and clicked a button with his mouse. A second later, a printer next to his computer started spitting out papers. Once it stopped, he picked up the stack and turned back to us. "I just need you to sign these. One is the approval to change her birth certificate, and the other is the paperwork to apply for a new license. I've also printed out the paperwork for a passport for Megan and a passport and a license for Sarah."
I sat there stunned! All of my previous dealings with the government left me doing all of the work. Today, it sounded like he had done all the work and just needed our signatures!
He handed the papers to my dad, who quickly read through them, signed them, and then handed them to me. They looked like standard government forms, and after I quickly read through them to make sure that all of my information was correct, I signed them on the line above the "Parent/Guardian" line that Dad had signed on.
"Congratulations, Megan," John said. "You are now female."
I smiled. I was female before he said that, but it was nice to have it legally recognized!
"Thank you," I told him. He was looking at me again. I grimaced at his look, and he seemed to realize what he was doing.
"I'm sorry," he said while frowning. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just find it hard to believe that you were ever living as a boy. Please forgive me."
His apology didn't really make me feel any better. In fact, it made me feel more like I was on display for his amusement.
"If you'll follow me," John said while standing up. It appeared he realized that he had possibly gone too far, and he looked slightly guilty now. "We can get your picture for your driver’s licenses and passports."
I nodded and stood up, grabbing the bag that held my glam and wig. I would need them if I was taking pictures as Sarah.
John led us out of his office and down the hall to a small room with a camera and a seat. He had me sit on the chair and then he took a couple of pictures as Megan before he told me we needed pictures of Sarah.
I was nervous when he stepped back outside, leaving Dad and I alone in the small room. I didn't fully trust this guy, especially now that he had been endowed with my most precious secret. Dad had assured me that he was trustworthy, and that he had signed a non-disclosure agreement, but I still didn't feel good about it.
After donning the wig and glam, Dad opened the door to let him back in. His eyes opened wide when he saw me.
"You weren't lying, Don!" he exclaimed after the door had closed behind him. "She really is Sarah Carerra!"
I grimaced again. He should have realized that before now. He had a large smile on his face as he took a few more pictures, and then told us that he would meet us back in his office.
Once he had left for the second time, I quickly returned the wig and the glam to the bag. That would keep them safe and secret. We then headed back to John's office.
John wasn't there when we arrived, but Dad motioned for me to sit down. We didn't have to wait long before John reappeared, holding two laminated cards.
"Here you go, Megan," he said while handing the cards to me. I stared at the new licenses that I had been handed. Both pictures looked amazingly good for a license, but Sarah's was definitely the better photo. She seemed to be so photogenic.
All of Sarah's information was the same as Megan's, which could be trouble later if anyone obtained both of them. But we had put the perception out that Sarah sometimes stayed at my house.
"Thank you," I told him again. He nodded at me before turning to my dad.
"The birth certificate and the passports will be mailed to you in the next couple of weeks," John said.
"Okay," Dad said. "Is there anything else we need to do?"
"No," John replied, but stepped back around his desk and picked up a small briefcase. "But there is one thing that I was hoping you would be willing to do."
He placed the briefcase on his desk, opened it, and pulled out a long roll of paper. I knew instantly what he wanted, and I nodded to him when he looked up at me.
"Thank you," he told me this time as he unrolled the poster on his desk and then reached for a permanent marker that was lying nearby. He handed the marker to me.
"This is for my daughter, Kendra," he said. "She's your biggest fan."
I chuckled to myself. It seemed like everyone was my biggest fan. I signed Sarah's name to the poster and looked up to see the smile on John's face grow bigger.
Not only had he made my day, but I had made his.
I had planned to go over to Emily's house for the afternoon after we arrived home, but Dad asked me to sit down on the couch in the front room while he went to get my mother. I didn't know what was going on, but it sounded like I was in for a serious talk. We hadn't had one of these in quite a while.
Eventually, my parents came in and Mom sat down next to me while Dad sat down in his normal chair.
"Am I in trouble?" I asked worriedly. I didn't think I had done anything wrong.
"No, honey," my mom replied with a smile that instantly put me at ease. "This is about your surgery."
"Oh," I said. The worry that had just left me came flooding back tenfold. The doctors had determined that I was genetically female, but I did not have what was "normal" for a girl between my legs. They wanted me to undergo surgery to create the external genitalia that someone would expect me to have.
I wanted this surgery. I really, really wanted this surgery. But the thought of having it also scared me to death. I'd only ever had major surgery once before. When I was 10, my family was in a car accident and I had lost much of what had led doctors to pronounce me to be male at birth. Brett, the boy I had been before that accident, died that day. I didn't know it for six years, but that was the day that Megan had been born. She wasn't complete yet, but this surgery would finish the job.
"If it's okay with you, we'd like to schedule the surgery for a week from tomorrow," Dad said.
A week from tomorrow! That was so soon! I didn't know if I was ready for this to happen that quickly! I knew that my doctor felt that I should have the surgery as soon as possible to prevent any problems that might be caused by me having a period, but I was still shocked that it would happen so soon.
"Are you okay?" Mom asked from beside me. When I met her gaze, she looked really worried.
"Yeah," I replied. "It's just...it's scary!"
She immediately reached around me and wrapped me in a hug. "Oh, honey," she said. "I know that this is scary, but you need to have it soon."
"I know," I told her. "And I want it. But..."
"I understand," she interrupted me before I could find the words to describe my feelings. This was a big step. Mom held me in that hug for a few minutes while I came to terms with what they had told me. It wouldn't be long before my body matched my new driver's license.
"We wanted to schedule it this week," Dad told me when Mom had let go. "But you have a few appointments as Sarah between now and next week. Not to mention the trouble we'll have with Kevin's family here."
"Uncle Kevin is coming?" I asked, even more worry filling my already full mind. How were we going to keep Sarah a secret with a family full of relatives staying around the house?
"Yes," Dad said with a grimace. "Remember that we set this up a few months ago, before Sarah ever came into existence." Apparently he felt the same way as me.
"Where is everyone going to stay?" I asked. We had converted one of the spare bedrooms into Sarah's room. That only left one spare room for my dad's brother, his wife Olivia, and their three children: two boys and a girl.
"James and Logan can sleep out here in the front room," Dad said. "Kevin and Olivia will stay in the spare bedroom. Madison can either sleep in your room or Sarah's room. I'll let you choose."
That was a tough decision. The pull-out bed on the couch in Sarah's room was comfortable as far as couch beds go, but it didn't compare to my own soft bed. But having Madison in Sarah's room was dangerous when I needed to change into Sarah. Almost certainly Madison would start getting into Sarah's things too, or at least going through the clothes in her closet.
I opened my mouth to reply, but closed it after thinking about something else. The second time I opened my mouth was to ask a very important question.
"Are we going to tell them about Sarah?" I asked.
"If we can help it, I don’t want to," Dad replied.
"Then I should stay in Sarah's room," I told him. "Otherwise, Madison will be snooping all over the place. She probably will anyway."
Dad nodded. "It's up to you. If you need to tell her the truth, then you can. She is family and I know the two of you have a good relationship."
"I'll try not to," I told him. Unlike Emily and Ethan, this wasn't something I necessarily needed to share with my cousin to keep our relationship intact. Once Madison found out I was a girl, we were already going to have enough to talk about. Sarah could easily be pushed aside.
"Anyway," Dad continued. "They arrive on Friday, and they'll be here until the following Saturday."
"So I'll be in the hospital for most of the time they're here?" I asked downcast. That really bummed me out. Madison and I had always had a good relationship. She was a year younger than me, but we always seemed to click when we got together. She would be ecstatic to find out I really was a girl, just like Katy had been when we went to Aunt Judy's birthday party a couple of weeks ago. She was going to be upset that we wouldn't be able to hang out as much.
"Unfortunately," Dad said. "But at least this way you'll be able to do some things with them before the surgery. If you had the surgery before they came, you would have to take it easy the whole time they were here."
That made sense. If I was going to be sidelined and be forced to take it easy, it would be better to have a few days of fun beforehand.
"Okay," I told him. "What about Sarah? What do I have going this week?"
"The next couple of days are free," Dad replied. "On Friday you'll be performing on 'The Tonight Show'."
"Are you serious?!" I asked him excitedly.
"Yes," my dad replied. His grin turned into a wide smile with my excitement. "It's just a performance though, no interview."
Still...it was 'The Tonight Show'!
"You don't have anything during the weekend," he continued. "But on Monday you'll be interviewed on 'Wake Up!' and you’ll perform 'Intuition' there also. Then you have two weeks before any other commitments to help you recover."
"Okay," I replied, but my excitement had grown again. Not only was I going to be on 'The Tonight Show', I was also going to be on 'Wake Up!' 'Wake Up!' was a morning show designed to appeal to the younger generation between my age and mid- to late-twenties. I didn't get to see it very often, but I enjoyed it when I was able to watch it.
"Alright then," Dad said with a smile. "Are you okay with having the surgery next Tuesday?"
I took a deep breath and let it out before I was able to respond. But when I did, I was confident in my answer.
"Yes," I told him. "I am."
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It had been one month to the day since I had performed for Scott and he had offered me the chance to record a demo CD. In one month I went from being a nobody to having a number one hit and performing on a syndicated program like 'The Tonight Show'. It still amazed me at how popular I had become so quickly.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.02 - Tonight with Sarah Carerra by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: August 9, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.02 - Tonight with Sarah Carerra
The next few days passed slowly, but I was glad for the calm that had settled after the concert was over. It was a good break from the full-throttle schedule that I had been living for the last week and a half.
I spent much of the time hanging out with Emily and Anna, her younger sister. We tried to include Ethan, but it was apparent that he felt odd hanging out with us after I had kissed him on the cheek at the concert on Saturday. He had been in love with Sarah Carerra before he found out that she was really me. Now, I think he had conflicting emotions about loving his best friend. Either way, he had been avoiding us, or at least me, instead of confronting the problem head on.
But without him, we had a chance to do girly things. We did a lot of shopping, we went to the salon, we did all of the things that we could not do with Ethan around. It wasn't our fault that he was avoiding us, so we were taking advantage of it.
Anna was initially upset because she had not been invited to attend the concert. She didn't know that I was Sarah Carerra, and we were trying to keep it that way for now, but she had been unhappy to be left out. Spending this much time with us had finally made her feel somewhat better, although she was still mad that she didn't get to see Sarah Carerra perform in person.
Friday morning was a bright, sunny day. It seemed like the perfect day to perform on 'The Tonight Show' and have Uncle Kevin’s family come to visit. I'd already moved much of my clothing into Sarah's closet to keep from interrupting Madison when I got ready each morning. I had also taken the few things that I didn't want to live without and they made Sarah's room feel more like my own. It felt odd to consider it my room for the week, or at least for the four days I had until my operation. I'd be in the hospital for most of the week afterward.
After taking a shower, I stepped into Sarah's room to get dressed. Julia, my image consultant, had decided that I should dress similarly to how I was dressed during the concert, but with a more expensive edge. We had decided on a pair of jeans and a very stylish off-white, almost cream top that wasn't quite a tank, but still left my shoulders bare. It was also made of a silky material, was fitted, and had an intricate golden weave about an inch toward the bottom that really set it apart from the dark-washed jeans. We topped it off with a pair of matching heeled boots that were mostly hidden under the cut of the jeans. Two simple bracelets and a small pendant necklace made up the accessories.
In short, my outfit looked very expensive. Unfortunately for my own pocketbook, it HAD been expensive. I knew that I was wearing over $1,000 worth of clothing. But it was exactly the type of image that we wanted to portray on ‘The Tonight Show’. Sarah Carerra got all the glamour that a girl could want, but she was still a down to earth girl.
After getting dressed, I pinned up my long brown hair before I opened the locked armoire located in Sarah's room. Inside were the many wigs that helped disguise my true identity when I performed as Sarah. I pulled out the same blonde wig that I had worn during the concert. I had been wearing the same style for the last couple of weeks. It was the style that everyone was starting to recognize as Sarah's. I quickly did my makeup with a dramatic flair. Stephanie, my personal makeup artist, would be at the studio to get me looking my best when I went out on stage, but I could do a passable job by myself until she got her hands on me. Once I was ready, I stepped out of my room and headed for the kitchen, where I could hear my family eating.
They smiled at me when I stepped into the kitchen, and I had to smile back. Not only was my family here, but so were Chloe and Xander. Chloe Carpenter was Emily's second identity, the one that allowed her to accompany Sarah without the risk of someone recognizing her. Her long blonde hair had been hidden under a long red wig and she looked like a model wearing her high fashion outfit.
Xander Dailey was Ethan's second identity. His short brown hair had been replaced with blonde locks that fell over his eyes and to the top of his neck. He still looked uncomfortable in the preppy polo shirt he was wearing, but he seemed to be acclimating to them.
But the best part was that Ethan was here. This was the first time that I had seen him since we dropped him off after leaving the airport Sunday morning. He'd been avoiding Megan, but apparently he wasn't avoiding Sarah.
"Hi guys," I said with a smile. "It's nice to see you again, Ethan."
Ethan blushed! I couldn't believe it! I was only trying to tell him how happy I was that he was here this morning, and he was reading into it again. I didn't know what my feelings toward him were, but I didn't like the uncomfortable feeling I got when interacting with him now. If only I could take back what I had done at the concert.
"Hi, Megan," he said. I was glad that he had used my real name, instead of calling me Sarah. It gave me hope that we could work our way through this.
"Eat quickly," Dad said. "We're already a bit late. We need to be at the studio in an hour."
"Okay," I said before grabbing a plate and settling in to eat between my friends. It was good to have them back.
"Stephanie!" I greeted my makeup artist excitedly when I was shown to the green room at the studio. Dad, Emily, and Ethan were right behind me.
"Hi, Sarah," she replied. "You certainly look expensive today. Not much tomboy left in you, is there?"
I laughed at her quip. Stephanie knew that I was really Megan, but she didn't know more than that. Both she and Julia thought that I was a tomboy before becoming a pop star. "Yeah, you can blame Julia for that," I replied.
"Sound check in fifteen," said the worker who had shown us to the room, before he turned and left.
"Sit," Stephanie said immediately. I sat and she wrapped a protective cover around me to protect my expensive investment. I didn't realize we were so late. As she worked on removing what I had applied earlier, she started talking about her plan for the day.
"We're going more dramatic today," she said. "The expensive clothes will look better with a more polished look. Dark eyes, solid lip. We want to make you look flawless."
I sat there while she continued to remove my makeup, and started reapplying it. Out of the corner of my eye I could see my dad, Ethan, and Emily sink down on the couches in the room. I figured that this was going to be pretty boring for them. Fortunately, they had tickets to see the show and didn't have to wait backstage for me, but the show didn't start for another hour. I had wanted Mom and Austin to come too, but Mom said she needed to be home in case Uncle Kevin showed up, and Austin was going out with friends. He had seen the concert, and knew he could watch the show later that night.
"Take a look," Stephanie said, and stepped back to give me the ability to look into the mirror.
"Ooh," I replied. I looked really good. The flawless makeup made me look slightly older. I took off the cover and stood up to get the full effect. Once again Stephanie had done a masterful job. She was worth every penny that she charged. "It's perfect, again," I told her.
"Thank you," she said with a grin. "I have a couple of other clients who have appointments this afternoon. Do you want me to stick around in case it gets messed up or can I run and see them?"
"You can go, Stephanie," I smiled. Dad had retained Stephanie to be there when I needed her, but I was certain she had other clients whom she needed to keep happy too. "I'll be fine. Makeup is meant to last all day, anyway."
She chuckled at my words, but I could see the gratitude in her eyes. I was paying her a lot to be here, but she needed other clients to help pay the bills. I wasn't going to stop her from doing that.
"Would it be easier for you to come to my house instead of meeting me at studios and such?" I asked her. Stephanie was one of the few people who knew Sarah Carerra's true identity. Having her come to the house wouldn't be a problem.
"Maybe," she replied. "Sometimes your house is closer, like today. Other times it's easier to meet you where you are appearing."
"Let me know where you would like to meet in the future, then," I told her with a smile. "We can work something out that works for both of us."
She smiled back at me. I could tell that she hadn't expected me to say anything like that. "Thank you," she said again.
"You're welcome," I replied. It couldn't hurt to keep those people I worked with happy.
"I'll see you on Monday, then," she told me.
"Okay," I said. "See you then."
"Five minutes," we were interrupted by an intern. This one looked anxious because I was still in my dressing room instead of nearing the stage. But nobody had come to get me.
"Coming," I told her, and I could see her anxiety wane as I stepped out the door behind her. My small entourage was right behind me. They had nothing better to do.
I followed the intern down a few halls before entering a backstage area. She walked me around a curtain to where my band was waiting for me.
"Hi, guys!" I greeted them warmly. I hadn't seen them since the concert.
"Hi, Sarah," Jason greeted me back. The others soon followed. Jason Olson was the lead guitarist of the band 'Pop Fly'. He, along with bass player Connor Christiansen and drummer Stacy Miller, made up the core of the group that accompanied me on stage. Sophie Lund and Holly Anderson were the two others. They provided harmony and backup vocals.
"You look really good," Sophie told me. I laughed. Sophie always looked exquisite. She had one of the best wardrobes I had ever seen. I looked expensive today, but she looked expensive every day. Even when she and Holly were wearing the same clothes, like they were now for our performance, she managed to make hers look more expensive. To have her mention my clothes looked good was a real compliment.
"Thank you," I told her.
"One minute!" someone yelled from behind me. I wanted to talk to them more, but we had a sound check to perform.
"'Intuition' for the sound check?" I asked Jason. He nodded back to me and I made the preparations I needed to in my head to get ready to perform again.
Unlike Saturday night, where I had been really nervous to walk out on stage, I was actually excited to be performing again. There wasn't a nervous bone in my body. I really had become addicted to the rush I felt every time I performed.
I stepped up to the microphone, smiling to myself when I recognized the white shimmer before seeing my name stenciled along the side. Dad had presented this microphone to me at the concert, promising that it would always be there for me when I performed. It was almost like having him on stage with me.
I looked out on the empty set of 'The Tonight Show' for the first time. Nobody was in their seats. Todd Thomas, the current host, was nowhere to be seen, and only the sound technicians were nearby. But I was on 'The Tonight Show' stage!
It had been one month to the day since I had performed for Scott and he had offered me the chance to record a demo CD. In one month I went from being a nobody to having a number one hit and performing on a syndicated program like 'The Tonight Show'. It still amazed me at how popular I had become so quickly.
"Start when you're ready," one of the sound technicians yelled, and Jason started his intro immediately. I closed my eyes briefly, listening to the sound of the music. I started singing before opening my eyes again.
This was the first time that I had sung 'Intuition' since it had become a number one hit. It seemed so surreal to me that it was that popular already. I only hoped that my other songs would be as successful. I'd only started my music career, and I wasn't ready for it to end.
When the song came to a close, I stepped back from the microphone and smiled. It felt good to perform again.
The band, my dad, my friends, and I were all sitting in the green room half an hour later when there was a knock on the opened door. I looked up, still chuckling from the conversation we had been having, to see Todd Thomas standing there.
"Sarah!" he said in a friendly tone, like we were the best of friends. "It's so good to have you on the show!"
I stood up from where I was sitting between Emily and Sophie and stepped closer toward the door.
"I'm happy for the opportunity. I'm a big fan of the show," I told him with a smile while taking his outstretched hand. Todd was in his mid-thirties. He was an athletic looking guy with dark hair and a goatee. Ever since taking over as host of 'The Tonight Show', he'd really appealed to the younger generation, including me. I watched his show whenever I got the chance. Admittedly, that wasn't nearly as often as I would have liked.
Todd then pulled out a well used notebook before grinning at me again. "I try to get all of my guests to sign this," he said. "Would you be willing to?"
"Of course," I said, returning his grin with one of my own. I took the book from him and flipped through it to the last page. There were some big names there, and I felt privileged to be able to add my own. I quickly scribbled my name and handed the book back to him.
"Thank you," he said. "Are you nervous? This is your first time on a talk show, right?"
"Yeah, it's my first time," I replied. "But I'm not nervous. If you were interviewing me that might be different, but singing is second nature to me now."
He chuckled for a moment before speaking again. "I guess I'll have to have you back soon for an interview. We'll see if we can't get those nerves going."
I laughed with him, and I could hear the rest of the people in the room chuckling too.
"Is this your band?" Todd asked while looking around the room.
"Yeah!" I replied excitedly. I was glad that Todd was interested in meeting them too. I pointed to Jason. "This is Jason Olson. He's the band leader and lead guitarist of 'Pop Fly'."
"Pleased to meet you, Jason," Todd said with an outstretched hand.
"Likewise," Jason beamed back while shaking Todd's hand.
"Next to him is the rest of the band, Connor Christiansen on bass and Stacy Miller on drums," I continued the introductions, Todd giving each of them a handshake. "Sophie Lund and Holly Anderson sing harmony." I didn't want to call them ‘backup singers’.
"It's nice to have all of you here," Todd said before turning to the last group in the room. "And you guys are?"
"Don Campbell," Dad said while taking Todd's hand. "I'm Sarah's manager. This is Chloe Carpenter and this is Xander Dailey, Sarah's two closest friends."
"Welcome, welcome," Todd said with a smile to them before turning back to me. "It's nice to finally meet you and your band, Sarah. I need to run, but I'm glad to have you on the show."
"Thanks, Todd," I replied.
"I'll see you all out on stage," he continued while stepping back over to the door to the room. "Break a leg."
I chuckled politely, and then he was gone.
"When we come back, Sarah Carerra will perform for us, stick around!" I heard Todd say from the other side of the set. An intern had retrieved us from the green room five minutes earlier, and we were waiting backstage to take our places. A red light turned off next to where we were standing, and another person started waving us forward.
"Get ready," she told us while motioning toward the stage. I knew that we weren't live or anything, but they were still pushing a pretty strict schedule on us. The band and I walked over to where our instruments and microphones were, and waited for our next cue. We were told that we would be introduced, and then we needed to start the song immediately.
Once we were in place, the curtain in front of us was raised, and I looked out on 'The Tonight Show' set once more. This time, it was completely changed.
A cheer swept the audience as the curtain was raised, causing me to smile. Singing my song earlier for the sound check had been one thing, but performing it for an audience was completely different! I couldn't wait to be singing again!
Todd was standing behind his desk, where he was shaking hands with some actress who had been in an artsy film. I recognized her, but I couldn't remember her name or the name of the movie. It wasn't long before she said goodbye and made her way off the set behind us.
The crowd quieted down, and I stood there waiting for the music to start. My heart had already started pumping, and I could feel the rush of being on stage starting without even a single note.
The red light that had gone off earlier came back on. The crowd started to clap. I watched as a short heavyset man stood up and counted down on his fingers before pointing at Todd.
"Welcome back," Todd said into one of the many cameras surrounding the set. "My next guest has quickly taken the teen music scene by storm with the release of her first single, which rose to the top of the charts after only two weeks. Her first album isn't scheduled to be released until July 8, but she's already making a statement for herself. Please welcome Sarah Carerra!"
Another small cheer rang through the crowd as Jason immediately started his intro for the second time that day.
I sang the song with as much passion and determination as I could muster. This was likely the first time that many of Todd's viewers had heard my music, and I wanted to make a good impression.
Unlike some of my songs, I knew that this song was supposed to appeal to not only the teen crowd, but also to the greater demographic that Todd's show hit. According to Dad, the more people I hooked here, the better off my career would be. I knew he meant monetarily, but I figured that the more fans I had, the more likely I would be performing for many years to come. And I had started to realize that performing was something I had been born to do.
As the song ramped up into the final chorus, I looked out at the crowd again. My eyes landed on Dad, who was sitting directly in front of me, three rows from the top. He was beaming. This was the first time I had been able to see Dad's face while I performed, and I was mesmerized at how proud he looked.
My smile widened as I continued the song. I loved my dad so much. He had done a million things for me throughout my lifetime, but now I was giving something back. It was more than the money that I was helping to make for him; this was about seeing his child succeed. He'd taught me how to be a good person, and now it was paying off.
When the song came to an end, the crowd started clapping again, and a number of people started whistling and cheering. Todd stood up and came over to where I was standing while the crowd continued.
"Sarah Carerra, everybody!" Todd yelled over the cheers before coming over and shaking my hand once again. He then turned back to the crowd. "I'd like to thank all of my guests. Stay tuned for 'Late Night'!"
The crowd cheered for a few more minutes while Todd thanked me again and then shook hands with each of the band members before he waved to the crowd and stepped off the set behind where we had performed. My entire appearance on 'The Tonight Show' hadn't been much longer than the three and a half minute song, but it certainly left a warm glow in my chest.
Want to see Sarah Carerra perform in a city near you?
I'm looking for places to have Sarah perform on a short concert tour at the end of the summer. If you know of anywhere that you think a new up and coming artist should perform, post it here or send me an email at angeljedigirl (at) gmail.com. I'm looking for smaller venues like amphitheaters or maybe even a state fair. If you have a favorite place to go see a band or show, pass it on.
Who knows, you may even get free tickets and backstage passes. Send in your ideas now.
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She too was taken aback by my appearance. For the first time since hearing that they were coming to visit, I was worried that my relationship with Madison might not survive the changes in my life.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.03 - Family Therapy by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: August 16, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.03 - Family Therapy
"That was your mom," Dad said while hanging up the phone as we approached the car. We had just left the set of 'The Tonight Show'. "She said that Kevin and his family have arrived. You might want to take the wig off in the car on the way home."
"Okay," I said. I was still worried, though. I could take off the wig, but I didn't have a change of clothes. I wasn't sure how I was going to explain why I was wearing such an expensive outfit. I couldn't even take off the glam for once, because the whole outfit fit that category. I would just have to hope for the best.
I'd found out the hard way last Saturday that pinning a wig in place while riding in a moving vehicle could be a painful experience. However, removing one was much better. By the time we got home I had not only removed the wig, but I had also been able to get my own long locks styled in a decent manner.
Uncle Kevin's van was parked in the driveway when we turned in, but nobody was outside. Dad pulled around it and into the garage.
"We'll let you spend time with your family," Emily said while we stepped out of the car.
"Okay," I told her. I'd much rather hang out with both Emily and Ethan, but I also wanted to see Madison again. I didn't get to see her very often. My two best friends left through the open garage door with a small wave, and I turned to follow Dad into the house.
Mom and Aunt Olivia were in the kitchen making sandwiches for a late afternoon lunch when we entered.
"Hi, Mom," I greeted her when she looked up from where she was buttering a slice of bread. "Hi, Aunt Olivia."
"Hi, Megan," Mom said, looking up and giving me a wide smile. I immediately knew that she wanted to ask me about 'The Tonight Show', but we had already made the decision to try to keep the secret from Dad's relatives. The time may come when we'd need to tell them, but it wasn't now.
Aunt Olivia was staring at me. Dad had told his brother about me earlier in the week. His family knew that I was now a girl before they ever left their home. But like so many others, seeing the difference was a big shock for my aunt. She seemed utterly speechless as she stared at me.
"Don?" I heard Uncle Kevin ask loudly from down the hall toward the bedrooms. "Is that you?"
He rounded the corner into the kitchen, and I saw his face light up. Dad and his brother didn't see each other often, but that didn't mean that they didn't have a good relationship. Dad embraced his brother in a friendly welcoming hug.
"It's good to see you again, Kevin," Dad said. "How was the trip?"
"It was fine," Uncle Kevin replied. "The kids didn't fight for once, and the van ran smoothly. I couldn't have asked for anything better." Uncle Kevin then glanced over at me, seeing me for the first time.
"Wow," he exclaimed. "This must be Megan?" His gaze shifted to Dad for a moment, who confirmed his question with a nod of his head. He then turned back to me. "I must admit, when I heard the news about you I wasn't expecting you to look so...so...natural!"
I started to blush immediately. I'd managed to get through most of the week without this reaction, and I had hoped that it might be a thing of the past. But no, blushing easily still seemed to be an ingrained part of the personality that had started to shine through me when Megan finally came to the forefront of my life.
"Thank you," I replied, feeling the heat coursing through my cheeks. I glanced over at Aunt Olivia. She was nodding her head in agreement, but she still seemed to be at a loss for words.
Uncle Kevin turned back to the doorway into the kitchen, yelling into the front room and down the hall. "Kids, your cousin is here. Come and meet her."
My heart started racing again. While Uncle Kevin seemed to take my appearance pretty well, I wasn't sure what Aunt Olivia thought. Yet her nodding seemed to indicate that maybe she agreed with him. How would their kids take it?
The first to arrive were the boys. James was their oldest child. He was a year older than me. Despite the closeness in age, I never had gotten along with him very well. It wasn't that we disliked each other at all; we just had completely different interests. He was an athletic boy, playing on both the football and basketball teams at home in Montana. I was neither athletic nor a boy. We were cordial with each other, but that was it.
Unfortunately, his eyes grew really wide when he saw me. I knew that I was attractive, and I was sure the expensive clothes didn't help. I immediately had the feeling that I was the type of girl he was interested in. Cousin or not, I had piqued his interest. I just hoped that didn't become a problem.
Logan was the youngest child. He was two years younger than me, the same age as Austin. The two of them were always hanging out with each other when our families got together. But instead of the look of attraction that I had received from his brother, Logan seemed to be staring at me in wonder. He'd only ever known me as a boy. Seeing me must have been a shock.
"Hi," I said to them with a grin, and I gave them a small wave.
"Hi," they both responded, but that's all I got from them. They seemed to be just as shell-shocked as their mother.
"Madison!" Uncle Kevin yelled down the hall again when it became apparent to him that his two boys weren't going to say anything more.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," I heard her grouch from down the hall. She didn't seem to be as enthusiastic about meeting me as I had hoped she would be. But when she came into view, I was amazed at just how much she had changed since the last time I had seen her.
Madison and I looked a lot alike. That had always been true, ever since we were little girls, so to speak. The resemblance only became closer when I had made the decision to let my hair grow long a few years ago. Her dark brown hair only reached to her shoulder blades instead of her lower back, like mine did, but it still served to emphasize the beauty that she portrayed. She had dazzling eyes, green instead of my dark brown. She was also pretty tall for her age, and taller than me. We weren't twins by any means, but we probably could have passed for sisters.
But the biggest shock to me was that despite her being a year younger than me, it was readily apparent that she was physically more mature. Dr. Holbrook, who had been the one to discover my true genetic heritage last week, had told me that I was a “late bloomer”. That wasn't true of Madison. I could only hope that I would look as good as she did as I continued to grow.
"Hi," I repeated my greeting when she had stopped in her tracks, just like her brothers had. Instead of a look of wonderment, she had a confused look on her face. I knew immediately what it was. We had spent a lot of time together while growing up before Uncle Kevin had moved his family to Montana, where he now had his own dental practice. We'd hung out with each other every time the families met afterward. But I had never been a girlfriend to her. I had always been her male cousin. Now, it was very apparent that assumption had been wrong. Despite how much we had started to look alike during the last couple of years, she had never once thought of me as a girl.
But I was. I knew that now with a certainty. I should have known it earlier. The signs had been there throughout my life, but neither I nor my friends and family had seen them.
"Hi," she replied softly. She too was taken aback by my appearance. For the first time since hearing that they were coming to visit, I was worried that my relationship with Madison might not survive the changes in my life.
We all settled into an uncomfortable silence for a few moments before Mom brought us back to reality. "Sandwiches are almost ready," she said, which caused everyone to glance at the food. It had been a long time since breakfast, and I hadn't had a chance to eat between the sound check and the performance. Mom added, "Megan, you’d better change."
I looked down, once again remembering that I was wearing expensive clothes. A small fortune had been spent on Sarah's wardrobe, and I had no desire to mess it up. I nodded to Mom and gave my relatives a slight grin before I stepped past them and walked down the hall. Our first meeting hadn't been quite what I had hoped for.
"Are you really a girl?" Logan asked me half an hour later. He, along with my other cousins and I, were sitting around the table on the patio in the backyard. We didn't have much of a backyard, but it was a nice place to get out of the heat of the L.A. sun, since the patio was completely covered by a canopy of green leaves from the many trees. We'd all pretty much finished up our sandwiches, and we were awkwardly sitting there together. Austin was still out with his friends, leaving me to entertain them alone. I'd changed into a pair of shorts and a tee, making me blend in better with my cousins.
"Yep," I replied and took another sip of my lemonade.
"Why?" he asked me next. He really seemed curious about my change. Madison and James leaned in closer to hear my answer too.
"Well," I started before thinking about how to describe the recent events of my life. "Apparently I've always been a girl, despite what the doctors thought when I was born. A few tests that I had a couple of weeks ago proved that I really am a girl. I've got all the parts a girl has and none of the parts that a boy has."
"All of them?" Madison asked in shock. James had a similar expression. He had seen me in locker rooms before when we'd gone swimming. I knew he was questioning what my statement really meant.
I blushed again. I was more than happy to talk to Madison about this. But talking to her brothers about it was a difficult thing to do. If I couldn't even talk to my own father about my body, how could I expect to be comfortable talking to my cousins?
"Pretty much," I replied, trying to keep it vague. "I'm supposed to have surgery on Monday to fix the rest."
It was vague, but it seemed to be enough for James and Madison. Logan looked slightly confused, but he didn't ask for clarification. Instead, he continued his questioning.
"Do you like it?" he asked next. I chuckled to myself. Learning who I truly was had been the best thing to happen in my life. I couldn't imagine stumbling through the rest of my life like I had been the last six years. I knew without a doubt in my heart that I was female, that I had always been female. And I did like it. I would never go back.
"Yes," I replied confidently, and I recalled my conversation with Austin backstage in Salt Lake. Logan looked even more intrigued at my answer. "Why? Do you want to join us?"
"No!" he replied adamantly. The disgust he had at the idea of joining the fairer sex was enough to let me know that while he was intrigued with my situation, he definitely didn't want to go through with it himself. I laughed outright, and my two other cousins also laughed.
"How can you just change like that so quickly?" Madison asked. "I mean, you seem completely different. How can you be a girl all of a sudden?"
"It wasn't something that happened instantly," I replied. "This has been happening for years now. Ever since the accident at least, but maybe even earlier. I've been becoming more and more feminine as I grew up. Looking back on my life now, I honestly don't know how I lived with myself before becoming Megan for good."
"But you were never the least bit girly," Madison opined. I smirked at her. So many people disagreed with that statement and often told me just how feminine I was before they found out the truth.
"That's not true, Maddie," James spoke up for the first time. "Brett was one of the most feminine boys I had ever met. You just never saw it. Why do you think you two have so much in common?"
Madison just sat there, stunned again. I could see her thoughts running through her head. She started by doubting her brother, but then there was a spark of something. She seemed to understand that there was a side of me that she hadn't noticed. In the end, her face still showed confusion, but she nodded at me. She seemed more accepting of me after that.
"I guess that explains why your room is so girly now. You have good taste," she finally said. I had to laugh.
"Truthfully," I told her. "I haven't changed anything in there since I started living as a girl, other than getting rid of my old clothes."
"Really?" she asked me incredulously. Apparently she still had some reservations about me.
"Really," I replied.
The rest of the evening was spent reconnecting with my relatives. Madison started to see me for who I really was. Aunt Olivia started talking to me and had nothing but praise. Uncle Kevin still seemed amazed, but still treated me like a niece. James seemed to be hanging around me more than he ever had before. Things were pretty much the same between Logan and me. Once Austin had come home, I was pretty much forgotten by him.
At the end of the night, we were just family. Things were different than the last time we had gotten together, but we would get through the changes.
I found myself sitting on the love seat in the front room while we watched 'The Tonight Show'. Madison was sitting next to me, and after our rocky start we had finally reconnected the way we always had. But this time, we were girlfriends. She admitted at one point that she didn't see any boy in me anymore.
My parents and my aunt and uncle were also watching and talking while we waited through Todd's first guest. Austin and Logan were in his room, where they had decided to sleep. James was grudgingly waiting for us to leave so he could get his own bed ready on the couch.
"Why are we watching this again?" Madison asked. I laughed. I hadn't had the opportunity to meet any of the other guests that Todd had on the show, but I didn't feel like I had missed out on anything. We were now watching his second guest, the woman who had been in the artsy film. It turned out she was just as boring in real life as I thought her movie would be. Either way, it was painful to sit through.
"Because Sarah Carerra is performing," I told her again. "She's one of Dad's clients, and a close friend."
"You're friends with Sarah Carerra?" she asked me with disbelief. I'd told her that I'd met her, but I hadn't mentioned our relationship. I'd also managed to keep her out of Sarah's room for the time being.
"Yeah," I replied. "I knew her before she got a record contract."
"Can you introduce me to her?" Madison asked excitedly, causing my nervousness to once again grow like it did every time she got close to the secret I was keeping from her.
"I don't know," I told her. "I guess that depends on her schedule. I don't get to see her very often anymore," I lied.
"Oh," Madison replied in a downcast tone. "Ok."
The show was now on the commercial break between the actress and my song. I could once again feel the rush start as I anticipated seeing my performance.
"Welcome back," Todd said on the TV. "My next guest has quickly taken the teen music scene by storm with the release of her first single, which rose to the top of the charts after only two weeks. Her first album isn't scheduled to be released until July 8, but she's already making a statement for herself. Please welcome Sarah Carerra!"
A hush settled in the room as both of my parents ended their conversations and turned toward the television. I glanced over at my mom. I'd had the privilege of seeing Dad in the audience while I sang, and my mom now had the same proud expression on her face.
"Wait..." Maddie said when the TV cut to a picture of me on stage. I glanced sideways at her, and she had a confused look on her face again. For a moment I was worried that she could see through my disguise, but a second later she shook her head and continued watching.
"Can you imagine being famous like that?" Madison asked me after the song had ended. "I bet it would be a blast being a singer."
"Yeah," I said while chuckling and leaning back on the couch. It was a lot of fun, but I couldn't tell her that. "It must be fun," I said instead.
She looked at me oddly for a moment, before smiling back at me.
"Come on," Mom interrupted us. "Let's let James put his bed together."
"Okay," I replied and stood up. I was already starting to feel tired. I'd recuperated since the concert, but I had no desire to burn out unnecessarily. There was no telling when my life would turn crazy again. "I think I'm ready for bed, anyway."
"Are you coming with us tomorrow?" Madison asked me while we walked down the hallway toward the bedrooms.
"Where are you going?" I asked her. I didn't have any plans for tomorrow other than my therapy appointment.
"We're going to the beach," she replied. "I'd love to see you in a bathing suit."
I laughed. She might be more shocked than anything else. "We'll see," I told her. "I have a therapy appointment in the morning, but maybe I'll come and find you guys afterward."
"Okay," she said.
I stopped in front of Sarah's door and removed the key from my pocket. We planned to keep it locked to help prevent the cousins from entering the room. Madison stopped with me, obviously curious about the contents of the locked room I was staying in.
"Good night, Maddie," I replied, and gave her a hug to try to hurry her along.
"Good night, Megan," she replied. I think she realized that I wasn't going to open the door with her around. She seemed hurt that I wouldn't let her in on whatever we were keeping a secret, but she turned and headed for my room. With a soft sigh of relief, I opened the door and prepared for bed.
"Good morning, Megan," Mary, my therapist, said while stepping out of her office and into the waiting room where my parents and I were seated. "How are you doing?"
"Great!" I replied. I had been seeing Mary since the accident when I was ten. She wasn't just my therapist; she was also a really good friend. I met with her every Saturday now, and she had asked to have my parents join me this week.
"Come on back," she smiled. Once my parents and I had stood up, she turned and walked back toward her office with us following behind her. I took my usual spot on her soft couch, and Mom sat down next to me while Dad sat on Mom's other side. Mary sat across from us in a chair.
"I saw the concert on Sunday," she mentioned as an icebreaker. "You did very well."
"Thank you," I replied while blushing slightly. I knew that Mary's daughters were fans, but it still felt weird to talk about this with someone who knew my secret.
"How did it go?" she pried for more information.
"It was amazing," I said, and I could feel the rush start with just the memory of being up on that stage. "I was nervous at first, but I didn't even make it through the first verse of the first song before I was loving every minute of it. Performing on stage like that was the best thing I've ever done."
Mary chuckled. She knew a lot about me, but even she seemed slightly surprised at my reaction.
"And you did a wonderful job," she said. "If you ever perform around here, I'd love to buy some tickets. My daughters would love to go to one of your shows."
"If I ever perform around here, you won't be buying tickets," I replied immediately. "I'll make sure that you have excellent seats and backstage passes. Right, Dad?" I looked over at my dad for confirmation. He nodded, and the smile on Mary's face grew exponentially.
"You really are an amazing young woman," Mary said before pausing. I knew we were now getting to the heart of our session. "Speaking of young woman, how are you feeling about the news you shared with me last Saturday?"
"I," I started, but stopped shortly after starting. "I have mixed feelings," I finished my thought. "On one hand, it's the best thing that could have happened to me. But I'm scared to death to have this surgery."
I looked up at Mom and she returned my look with a comforting smile. Dad, on the other hand, looked like he didn't want to be discussing this topic.
"That's a natural worry, Megan. Don't feel bad about having those feelings," Mary told me with a smile much like Mom's. "This is a big milestone in your life. I would be worried if you weren't feeling some trepidation about this news."
I grimaced. She was right. It was only natural to be worried about something that would change my life so completely.
But would it really change my life? I mean, I had been born a girl. I had been living like one for a month now. I had thought of myself as a girl for at least three weeks, perhaps even longer...What would it really change?
"It will make me complete," I finally voiced my realization. "And nothing is better than that."
"Oh, honey," Mom said while wrapping me in a hug. "You don't need this surgery to be complete. You are already complete."
Mary was nodding her head, and Dad kept looking like he wanted to be somewhere else. But they were right again. I know I didn't need this surgery to validate my womanhood, but it still would complete me physically. I nodded my understanding.
"What about you two," Mary turned her attention to my parents. "How are you two taking this?"
My mom opened her mouth to respond, but it was Dad who spoke first.
"I couldn't be happier," he said with one of the biggest smiles I'd ever see him wear. "I mean, I love my two sons. I'd do anything for them. But I always wanted a daughter too. Now I'm getting the best of both worlds. Megan has brought so much joy into my life. I can't imagine life without her anymore."
I smiled at him while Mom took the time to respond.
"I will admit," she said. "I was disappointed when Brett was born. I thought for sure that I was having a girl. I could feel it. We didn't know the sex beforehand, and I thought for sure the doctor had made some kind of mistake when he told me I'd had a boy. Finding out sixteen years later that he did make that mistake has been overwhelming at times." She turned toward me. "I love you, honey. Ever since you were born I've seen you as my little girl. I don't know why, but you always seemed like there was something more to your life that I wasn't giving you. I couldn't figure it out, but I could see the feminine tendencies that you always had growing up. I always thought that's what I had felt when you were in the womb. But now I have the daughter I always thought I would have. I couldn't ask for anything more."
I was in tears at her words, and I had to lean over and wrap her in a hug. I had no idea that she had felt that way. I had no idea that I had even been feminine as a kid! I couldn't believe how much going through this had helped me to become closer to my family. I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Thank you
Thank you everyone for helping me to decide where Sarah Carerra will perform over the next few months. The responses I received were overwhelming, and I unfortunately cannot send her to all of them.
Sarah Carerra will be coming to 13 cities at the end of the summer and I hope that one of them will be near you. But if it isn't, remember that there will be more appearances in the future. If you still have a good idea of where she could perform (likely in more of the winter months) please continue to send them in. Just like in real life, I'd like Sarah to go where her fans are.
Thank you again, the full schedule will be released soon.
Megan
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I'd had two songs running around in my head since the concert - two songs that I wanted to write down on paper. It had been a while since I had written a song, but I needed to get these out of my head soon.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.04 - Song and Sand by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: August 23, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.04 - Song and Sand
Uncle Kevin and his family were gone when we arrived home after seeing Mary. I assumed that they had already headed down to the beach, and Mom said she'd drive me down after lunch to catch up with them. In the meantime, I had something very important that I wanted to do.
I stepped into Sarah's room. Normally, I would have locked the door behind me, but with our relatives gone, I left the door closed but unlocked so that my mom could come and get me when lunch was ready.
I'd had two songs running around in my head since the concert - two songs that I wanted to write down on paper. It had been a while since I had written a song, but I needed to get these out of my head soon. I'd dabbled with one in my free time over the last week, but today I decided to settle down and work on the one I had been avoiding.
I opened my guitar case and pulled out the black guitar that we had purchased a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't had it for long, but I was in love with my new guitar. It was the perfect instrument, at least in my mind.
I took the guitar, picked up the notebook and pencil sitting next to the case, and stepped over to the couch. I sat down and placed the guitar on my knee, and then I flipped through the notebook to a blank page to write down the new song. The few pages with writing were filled with half songs that still needed work, including the other one I had also dabbled with over the last week. That song was about my new, crazy life, and just how amazing it had become. I couldn't wait to finish it.
But today I was focused on something else. My session with Mary and my parents this morning had led us to Josh on many occasions, and this song was all about him. It didn't mention him by name, but I felt that it would be a powerful song once I had finished it.
I started by plucking at the strings of my guitar, trying to find the song that was in my head and to bring it into reality. It took me a few minutes, but the melody started to flow out of me just as easily as it flowed through my mind. After another half an hour, and a lot of erasing in the notebook, I started to write the lyrics.
Many of them were already finalized in my mind, and I decided to try singing it before writing down a single word.
I started playing the tune once more. This time through, I started to sing where I knew the words belonged. I didn't know all of them, but the ones that I did know fit perfectly into the song. Once I had sung through the whole thing, I started frantically writing the words down in the notebook. As I did, more words came to mind, and I had to hear how they sounded in the song.
I went back and forth like this for another 45 minutes, until finally I felt that the full song was on paper. This was the quickest I had ever written a song, and I couldn't believe how well it had come together!
For one last time before lunch, I started to sing the song again. This time I tried to put my heart into it, to see how it would sound when I really performed it.
I couldn't believe that I had written a love song about Josh! I didn't think I was even going to be able to win him back anymore. But it was definitely a powerful song. As I sang, I could see his face in front of me, and it made the whole song worthwhile. I needed to call him, to try and do something to get him back.
When I finished playing, I sighed.
"That was amazing!" someone said from nearby. I yelped, I jumped, and I nearly dropped my precious guitar.
"Maddie!" I screamed at the voice. "What are you doing here?" They were supposed to be at the beach, but she wasn't even wearing a bathing suit!
"I'm sorry," she said, looking guilty at either coming into the locked room, or scaring me; I wasn't sure which. "I didn't know that you could sing like that! You were amazing!"
"It was nothing," I replied, and tried to shrug it off. I didn't want her to get close to my music career.
"No it wasn’t. It was a lot more than that," she said with a sly grin. "You don't write songs like that for nothing. Who was it about?"
"Nobody," I said immediately. The last thing I needed to do was start to talk about Josh. That would lead to the secret quickly. "It's just a song."
"Not when you sigh at the end like that," she continued, and the sly grin hadn't left her face. She looked around the room for the first time. "It's about Josh Holliday, isn't it?"
I was speechless for a second. How did she know? There was absolutely no reason why she would know who this song was about. As far as she was concerned, I didn't even know Josh Holliday.
"No!" I emphatically answered. She didn't seem to buy it though, her grin slid into a smirk at my answer. "I don't even know Josh Holliday."
"You know, I've been watching Sarah Carerra for a while now," Madison said, making me jump at her use of my alternate name. "I've been reading about her in magazines. I bought her single. I watched her concert last Sunday. And you know what? She had the same look on her face as you just did when she sang 'Open Your Eyes'. I'm just guessing, but you have it bad for him."
"I don't even know him!" I reiterated.
"Megan, don't lie to me, please," she said, taking a seat on the couch next to where I had been working. "I just learned that my favorite cousin is Sarah Carerra! I want to enjoy this moment!"
"I'm not Sarah Carerra!" I blurted out without even thinking. But the look on Madison's face told me that she didn't buy that statement for a minute. She knew, somehow she knew! I sighed and slumped back down onto the couch next to her.
"How did you find out?" I asked. The least I could do was try to not let the same thing happen in the future.
"Well, I knew something was up when you came home yesterday," she said. "I mean, you were wearing some wicked awesome clothes. But I didn't start to get suspicious until I saw Sarah on 'The Tonight Show' in the same clothes you had been wearing.
"I wasn't certain until I stepped into this room, though." She looked around again. I looked with her. The posters on the walls of Sarah, signed by me, were a pretty good indication of whose room this was. The other decorations that Mom and I had added after Dad had converted the room from a spare bedroom had only made it more obvious.
"That song sounded amazing, and when I heard it while passing by in the hall, I had to see who was singing," she continued. "I didn't expect it to be you. How could you keep this from me?"
"I'm sorry, Maddie," I told her. "This secret is very important to my life. If people find out who I am, I won't have a normal life anymore. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't think it was time."
"So you're doing the whole Hannah Montana thing?" she asked. There didn't seem to be any animosity in her question. Perhaps she wasn't really mad at me for not telling her.
"Yeah," I replied. "My therapist suggested it. She wanted me to have a regular life as a girl too. This was before we found out that I really am a girl. She wanted me to experience life as a female before I decided which way I was going to live."
Madison thoughtfully pondered this information. Then that sly grin appeared again.
"So, was it about Josh?" she asked again.
I laughed. I wasn't going to get out of this without telling her.
"Lunch is ready," Mom interrupted us a while later. This time we were in my room, where we were getting ready to go to the beach. Apparently, they had run some errands earlier and hadn't planned on heading down until after lunch.
"Okay," I told her from my dresser. I had just pulled out my only bathing suit, a black bikini. "Be right there."
"You can wear a bikini?" Madison asked me with wide eyes. Even though she seemed to have accepted me as a girl, it was apparent that she still didn't understand how far that statement already reached.
"Yeah," I told her with a sly grin of my own. I knew I could pass completely in the bikini. I'd worn it to the beach once since Mom had insisted on buying it for me. She would be totally surprised when she saw me wearing it.
"Put it on!" she said excitedly.
"After lunch," I replied, knowing that it would torture her. She just groaned.
"Would you just take it off already?" Madison screamed at me. We had just placed our towels down on the sand, and she wanted me to take off the summer dress that was covering my bikini. I'd managed to lock myself in Sarah's room after lunch where she couldn't see me change, and she was practically dying to see what I looked like in the bikini.
I laughed, but started pulling the dress over my head. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw James and Aunt Olivia stop to watch too.
For the second time in a row, I heard an audible gasp when I uncovered my bikini-clad form. Ethan had gasped last time I came to the beach. Today it was James' turn. I didn't like the way he was staring at me now that my curves were on display.
"I guess you really are a girl!" Madison exclaimed from beside me. I just grinned at her.
The rest of the afternoon was spent much the same way that we spent nearly every afternoon when we came to the beach. We rode the waves and sat in the sun. As evening was approaching, we even ventured out on the pier and rode some of the rides. I hadn't been out on the pier in ages, and it was nice to take a break from just sitting on the sand.
It felt just like old times.
A short while later we were on our way back home. Mom and Aunt Olivia had left early to get dinner ready, so Austin, Dad, and I had filed into Uncle Kevin's van with his family for the 15 minute drive back home.
Madison slid in beside me. "Music please," she called from where we were sitting on the back seat. I heard James grimace, but Uncle Kevin turned on the radio anyway. He then switched around the stations until he found one that was playing music. I grinned inwardly when I recognized it as my favorite station.
I had gotten Madison to promise to not tell anyone else in her family about Sarah, and we had to resort to talking about other things for a while. But when the intro started, I was only a second faster than Madison in recognizing my song coming from the van's speakers. She sat up immediately and turned toward the front.
"Turn it up!" she yelled. James groaned again. He apparently recognized the music too, but had a different reaction.
"Please don't," James added his own opinion on what the settings for the radio should be. "I can't stand Sarah Carerra."
I felt a stab of pain that my own cousin would say that.
"What?" I found myself saying before I even realized it. "Why?"
James turned around and looked at us. He looked almost betrayed that I would take Maddie's side in this argument. Little did he know...
"Because she's only been on the music scene for two weeks, and she's already got a number one hit. She should have to work for it," he said. "Besides, this song isn't anything fancy. She should do something original."
I just stared at him. I had never heard anyone tell me that they didn't like Sarah Carerra or her music. Hearing it from my cousin was not something that I had expected.
"How can you say that with Megan sitting right here?" Madison asked him, clearly distressed by his words. I winced. She knew my secret but James didn't! However, she was referring to me like he did.
"What do you mean?" James asked, confused.
Madison realized then what she had said, but I feared that it was already too late.
"Nothing," Maddie replied, but I knew that James would not accept that answer. When James realized that Maddie wasn't going to respond, he turned toward me. He didn't ask anything, he just lifted his eyebrows. I grimaced.
"Are you going to tell them?" Austin asked from where he was sitting next to Logan. He probably thought he was trying to help, but all he did was confirm that there was something the others didn't know.
I turned back to James, who was still looking at me. In fact, everyone in the car was looking at me now. I could even see Uncle Kevin glancing at me in the rear-view mirror as he drove. I didn't know what to do, and glanced up at my dad, who smiled slightly at me before nodding his head slowly.
I sighed. I hadn't wanted to tell them, but I knew I could not keep it a secret anymore. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and listened to the music. Once I knew where the song was, I started singing along. When I opened my eyes again, everyone was still staring at me. I continued to sing until the song came to an end.
There was silence in the van for a moment. Nobody knew what to say.
"Are you kidding me?" James finally blurted out. "You're Sarah Carerra?"
I stared intently at him. How could Madison do this to me? She had promised not to tell anyone, and now three more people knew my secret! Even if they were family, they were liabilities that could now leak that secret to the public. I hoped they could be entrusted with it. My life as I knew it would be over if they couldn’t.
"Yes," I replied softly but clearly. "I am."
When we walked into the front door of my house a short time later we were greeted by the wonderful smell of a homemade dinner. Mom was an excellent cook, and with the help of Aunt Olivia I figured we were in for a good meal. But there were other things on my mind that distressed me.
"Alright, we're home," James said to me. "Prove it."
Despite his initial reaction, he didn't believe that I was Sarah Carerra. Even Dad's confirmation wasn't enough for him. But there was an easy way to confirm it.
"Follow me," I said while stepping toward the hallway. As we passed the kitchen, I looked in to see Mom and Aunt Olivia who were hard at work. I grinned slightly at them and continued walking past. Madison had other ideas.
"Mom!" she said excitedly. "You gotta come see this!"
"What is it?" I heard Aunt Olivia ask in a slightly concerned tone. My own mother looked up too.
"Just come see!" Maddie continued, urging her mother to follow us. I knew my own mother would be right behind her.
I continued walking down the hall until I reached the door to Sarah's room. I turned back to everybody in the hallway, noticing the curious looks that most of them were giving me. They knew the truth now, and despite any negative emotions that brought to me, I was always happy to share this side of my life with those I loved. I turned the knob and took a step inside, allowing the others to follow me in.
"Welcome to Sarah's room," I told them. I could see James' eyes open wide when he saw some of the decorations around the room. The posters could have been purchased by anyone, but every single one of them was signed by Sarah Carerra. Some of the other pictures were harder to obtain. There was a picture of Josh and me on the red carpet, a few other promotional photos that hadn't been turned into posters, and a framed photo of Sarah Carerra with a young girl in what appeared to be an airport terminal.
But it still wasn't enough for James.
"Nice room," he said. "But it still doesn't prove that you are Sarah Carerra."
I smirked. I had a feeling he'd want more. While everyone had been looking around, I had stepped over to the one thing that would prove it to him without a doubt.
I turned toward the locked armoire and punched in the access code on a small keypad, unlocking it before pulling open both doors.
"What about these?" I asked him, pointing to the many wigs that were sitting atop foam heads inside. I stepped back from the armoire and started gathering my hair on top of my head, reaching for a few pins when I was done. My family continued to watch as I pinned my hair before turning back toward the wigs. I picked up the one I had used for both of my performances, and slowly placed it on my head before turning back to James.
"It's nice to meet you, James Campbell. My name is Sarah Carerra." I held my hand out as if we were meeting for the first time, and I watched his eyes widen once again, before his gaze turned crestfallen. Then I realized too late why he refused to believe me. He refused to believe me because he, like Ethan, had a crush on Sarah Carerra. He didn't hate her at all!
I sighed once again. This certainly wasn't the reaction I was hoping for.
"I'm sorry, James," I told him, dropping my hand in the process. "I didn't know."
He nodded, but nothing escaped his pursed lips. I had just crushed the dreams of another young man who had fantasies about meeting Sarah Carerra.
I quickly took the wig off and replaced it in the armoire. The magic of Sarah Carerra was lost to me for the moment, and I didn't want to be wearing it.
"Can...Can I have your autograph?" James asked a moment later. I smiled as I pulled the pins from my hair. At least I hadn't alienated him completely.
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I was nervous. For the first time since before the concert, I was nervous.
"Please welcome Sarah Carerra!" I heard a male voice say. I knew that it was the voice of Matt Donaldson, one of the co-hosts of 'Wake Up!'. Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.05 - Wake Up! by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: August 30, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.05 - Wake Up!
The rest of the weekend was generally uneventful. I had strained my relationship with James, but we were still getting along. I even performed some of my songs for them, and we enjoyed each other’s company.
With the exception of Dad and Madison, who were going to accompany me to the 'Wake Up!' show, everyone was going to Disneyland on Monday. I wanted to go with them, and I hoped to catch up with them sometime later in the day because it was the last day I was going to be out of bed for nearly a week. By the time I was back on my feet after the surgery, they would be getting ready to return to Montana. But I was also supposed to meet Tracy, one of my cousins from Mom's side of the family, for lunch. We'd been trying to set up a time since the Monday after the concert.
Monday morning turned out to be hectic. I had to share a bathroom with Madison while getting ready, since we both needed to be ready early. Fortunately, she let me go first so that I would be ready when Stephanie arrived to do my makeup.
'Wake Up!' was broadcast live from 6:00 to 9:00 Pacific Time, with my interview occurring during the 8:00-8:30 timeframe. I needed to be there by 7:30 and ready to go on stage by 7:45.
After showering, I let Madison into the bathroom while I stepped back into Sarah's room to get ready. Julia had come by the day before, and together we had picked out an outfit for today. She wanted me to look more feminine, and today I was going to be wearing a dress.
The dress was pink with white vertical pinstripes. It fit close to my body and had a halter-style strap that went around my neck. The skirt was made up of three different ruffled layers, ending a few inches above my knees. A small, silver band highlighted my waist, and a pair of white open-toed heeled sandals adorned my feet.
I was in the process of pinning the wig in place when the door to Sarah's room opened, and I heard laughter. Turning to see who was there, I was happy to see Emily come in, dressed as Chloe, and followed by Madison. Before Madison had moved to Montana, the three of us would often hang out together. Madison hadn't lived close enough to come over every day, but when she did, the three of us were always together. It was nice to see the two of them together again.
"Morning, girls," I told them before picking up another pin to put in place.
"Morning, Megan," Emily said. Madison's face lit up with excitement when she saw me.
"I still can't believe this is happening," she beamed. I hadn't touched the wigs again since my ill-fated attempt to convince James I was Sarah Carerra. This was the first time she'd seen me dressed up.
I smiled back to her. I was glad that she would get the chance to step into Sarah's life, even if it was for only a brief time. My dad only had one sibling, and Madison was the closest cousin I had on his side of the family.
I stood up from the seat in front of my vanity. I was hoping to get some breakfast before Stephanie showed up.
"What are you wearing?" Madison gushed. "That dress is beautiful!"
"Get used to it," Emily stated. "She gets all the good clothes, while we get to do nothing but watch."
I laughed at her. We'd bought some really nice clothes for Emily when we purchased Chloe's wardrobe, but Emily was right. They weren't quite up to the caliber of what Julia and I had picked out for Sarah. I couldn't help that, though. We were working on completely different budgets. I vowed privately that someday I would make it up to both of them. I'd get them something extra nice.
"Come on," I said to change the subject. "Let's get some breakfast."
Mom was making waffles when we entered the kitchen. Most of the family was already up. They were going to leave right after my performance, and had already started to get ready.
"Morning, Sarah," Mom said to me, causing the few members of the family in the room to look up from their food. Unfortunately, James was one of them, and he looked up at me with a mixture of awe and regret. I smiled at him, but we didn't say anything to each other.
"I have something for you," Mom continued with a smile before stepping over to the table and picking up a small, wrapped box. "I hope you like them."
"What are they?" I asked, taking the box from her with appreciation.
"Just a small token of appreciation from your father and me," she said. "We're so proud of you, honey."
I smiled back at her before I turned my attention to the gift. I unwrapped it, and inside was a small, black jewelry box. With wonder, I slowly raised the lid, and then gasped.
"Mom! You shouldn't have!" I exclaimed at the sight of the silver drop earrings. They looked like they were expensive, and they were very beautiful.
"You deserve them, honey," she said while wrapping me in a hug. When she let go, she took the box from me. "Would you like me to put them in for you?"
"Can I?" I nearly gasped the question. It had been more than four weeks since I'd had my ears pierced, and I was still wearing the starter studs. Finally being able to wear something else would make my day even better.
"Yes," Mom replied. "I think you'll probably be okay removing the studs. Come here and let's see."
I stepped closer, and she reached up to my right earlobe and started turning the earring, much like I had been doing every day for the last four weeks. I didn't feel anything other than the post turning in my earlobe.
"How does that feel?" she asked. "Any pain or catching?"
"No," I replied. "It just feels like they’re turning around."
She repeated the steps on my left ear with the same results before pulling out the stud. She then repeated the step on my right lobe before reaching for a bottle of peroxide that was also sitting on the table. She dabbed a cotton ball with the peroxide and proceeded to clean my ears and then the earrings.
"Ready?" she asked me, and I nodded excitedly. She then reached back up to my ear and slipped the earring into the hole. I knew I was beaming when she repeated the process for the other one. Once it was in, she stepped back, smiling back at me. "Take a look," she said and pointed toward the small decorative mirror that was hanging in our hallway. I walked over and looked at my reflection.
I looked so different with the earrings dangling from my ears, and they certainly felt completely different than anything else I'd worn! But for some reason, they also made me feel more feminine, and I was happy to finally be rid of those starter studs. I turned back to Mom.
"Thank you," I told her, and hugged her with all my might.
"You're welcome, honey," she said, returning the hug. "Now come and get some breakfast."
An hour and a half later I was standing just off the set, waiting for my cue. Dad, Emily, and Madison had all been given seats in the audience, and I was alone. I'd done a quick sound check with the band during a commercial break, and the only thing left for me to do was walk out there for my first interview.
I was nervous. For the first time since before the concert, I was nervous.
"Please welcome Sarah Carerra!" I heard a male voice say. I knew that it was the voice of Matt Donaldson, one of the co-hosts of 'Wake Up!'.
I stepped forward and into view of the clapping studio audience and continued toward the center of the set, where a few soft chairs were arranged around a circular table. Matt and his co-host, Aubrey Smith, were already standing. Once I reached the two of them, I embraced Aubrey in a short hug before shaking hands with Matt and then moving over to the seat that I had been told to sit in. I smoothed my skirt before slowly lowering myself down and crossing my legs.
Once the clapping had died down, Aubrey was the first to speak.
"Welcome to 'Wake Up!' Sarah," she greeted me.
"Thank you," I replied to her. "I'm honored to be here."
"Let's start with the big question," Aubrey continued. "What is your life like now that you have a number one hit?"
"Oh," I said, surprised that she was asking such a big question. "Well, I'm still amazed at how popular I've become. A month ago I was a nobody, and now I'm recognized nearly everywhere I go. It's a lot to get used to."
"How did you get your break?" Matt asked me next. I smiled at him while remembering that fateful night at Johnny's party.
"My best friends Chloe and Xander dragged me to a party where a karaoke machine had been set up," I related to them. "They managed to get me up on stage where I was heard by a scout for Olympic Records." It never hurt to mention the company's name. "He persuaded me to record a demo of 'Intuition' the very next day, and I was signed within a week."
"That's pretty impressive," Aubrey stated. "Was this the same Chloe that you dedicated a song to during your concert last Saturday?"
"Yes," I said, smiling at the memory of that moment. I'd thought for sure that Emily wasn't there that night. "I've known her since I was two. We met Xander in Kindergarten. Xander isn't here today, but Chloe is in the audience." I looked out at where she was sitting and smiled at her.
"Oh!" Aubrey said in surprise. Then she turned toward the audience. "Well, we're going to have to meet her then. Chloe, could you stand up for us?"
I watched Emily sink down into her seat for a moment before Dad gave her an encouraging pat on the shoulder. I knew she was even more timid than I had been to get up in front of an audience, but she managed to take a moment and stand up, and some of the cameras turned to catch her.
"It's nice to meet you, Chloe," Matt said while waving at her. Chloe waved back before sitting back down.
"Did she at least get to see the replay of the concert?" Aubrey asked next.
"Chloe got to see more than that," I replied. "I didn't know it at the time, but my manager had actually flown both her and Xander to see the concert. I was so happy when I met up with them afterward."
"Aww," the crowd said together, causing me to blush slightly. I don't know if it was real or studio prompted, but it wasn't what I was expecting them to do.
"Let's talk some more about the concert and your music," Matt went on. "'Intuition' is not your song - you've already said that." He stopped talking for a moment and I nodded my assent. "But I understand that you do write some of your own music?"
"Yes," I replied. "The record company gave me 'Intuition' as a platform to launch my career. I only wrote one of the songs that I sang at the concert, 'Ever After'. Actually, Chloe and I wrote it together, which is why I wanted her there so badly to hear it. I have one other song that has been recorded, and quite a few more that I'm currently working on. I know the record company wants me to come up with quite a few for the CD."
"What do you write about?" Aubrey asked. "Anything in particular?"
"I usually write about what's in my heart at the time," I stated. "'Ever After' is a fairy tale that we came up with one afternoon. This week I've been working on a song that’s all about some of the amazing things that have happened to me over the last month. Saturday I sat down and wrote a song about my feelings for..." I blushed immediately when I realized I had almost told a nationwide audience that I had written a love song about Josh.
"Oh!" Aubrey exclaimed immediately. "So there is a relationship in Sarah's life!"
I knew I was turning red, but there wasn't much I could do to stop it.
"Is it Josh?" Matt added, increasing the burning sensation in my cheeks.
"No!" I insisted, but I'm pretty sure that my deep color betrayed my lie. Now everyone knew my feelings about Josh Holliday! I just hoped he wasn't watching.
The audience was laughing with me now, chuckling at my reaction to the question.
"How is Josh, by the way?" Matt pushed the subject even more. "We haven't had him on the program in a while."
"I don't know," I told them honestly. "I haven't seen or talked to him since the concert.”
"Men never call, do they?" Aubrey said with a straight face. Her reaction just made me blush and the audience started laughing again. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was promote the idea that Josh and I were a couple! That certainly wasn't what he wanted!
"I honestly haven't tried to call him," I told them once things had calmed down. "Josh and I are good friends, that's all."
I was afraid that they were going to take that opening and run with it some more, but I got the feeling that they could feel my distress and wanted to change the subject.
"Speaking of the concert," Matt came to my rescue. "The reviews have been really good. I think one even went as far as saying, "Sarah's ability to change her sound for each song makes her a talent among many." I hadn't read that one, but it certainly made me smile.
"I just try to sing the songs the way they feel to me," I told them. "I don't know what else to say."
Both Aubrey and Matt chuckled for a moment before moving on to the next subject.
"What does the future hold for Sarah Carerra?" Aubrey asked. "Any plans?"
This one I could answer better. I'd talked to Dad about what was planned for the summer.
"Well, I'm supposed to finish the album in the next few weeks," I told them. "I know that we plan to make a video for 'Intuition' and a second single, and then we'll be preparing for a short tour at the end of the summer. Things are just happening so fast, I sometimes don't know what all is going on."
"Your album is scheduled to go on sale July 8th, correct?" Matt asked.
"Yes," I told them. I had found out the date last week. It meant spending a lot of time in the studio finishing it after my surgery if we wanted to get it out on time. "It's entitled 'Intuition', but it will contain a number of other songs that I hope my fans will enjoy just as much."
"What are your favorite songs on the album?" Aubrey asked.
"Well, we've only got about half the songs finished," I replied. "It's kind of hard to pick favorites, because I like all of them. But if I had to choose, I would definitely have to say 'Ever After' and probably 'Love?'. But there are so many that I would mention too, like 'Open Your Eyes' and 'I Just Wanna Have Fun'."
"I don't think I've heard 'Love?'. Did you sing it at the concert?" Aubrey asked.
"No. I sat down and wrote it on Saturday..." I trailed off. How had I steered the topic back to what I had been dying to put behind me?
"Ah," Matt said. "So it is a love song about Josh Holliday."
"No!" I replied again. "I thought we already determined this!" I had started to blush again, and I knew I wasn't any more believable now then I had been earlier.
Everyone in the studio was laughing again, and all I could do is sit there in embarrassment. I couldn't believe that I had brought this on myself a second time!
"Alright," Matt said with a chuckle. "If you aren't going out with Josh Holliday, are there any other boys in your life right now?"
I smirked. Of course there were other boys in my life. There was something going on between Ethan and me, and I know that I was ogled all the time when I was out as Sarah Carerra. But there wasn't anyone that I had my eye on. Anyone other than Josh, that was.
"No," I told him. "Not at the present time."
"There you are, guys," Matt said while turning toward the camera and the studio audience. "Sarah Carerra is single. Mail your applications today."
There was some light-hearted laughter around the studio for a moment. When it calmed down, they steered the conversation in another direction.
"Seriously though," Aubrey started. "You have an excellent voice."
"Thank you," I replied when she paused for my response.
"What did you do with it before you were discovered," she continued. "Choir, theater, anything?"
I smirked again. I knew how my next answer was going to be received. "Honestly, I hadn't done anything. I was always trying to hide my voice. I was slightly ashamed of it."
"But you never had to be!" I heard someone yell from the crowd. I knew who it was.
"Thanks, Chloe," I replied through the laughter. "The truth is I never thought I was any good. I loved to sing, but other than Chloe and Xander, and a few times with my family, I didn't really let other people hear me."
"Really?" Aubrey said. "I find that hard to believe."
It was my turn to laugh now. I had been ashamed of my voice because it had never broken and lowered like the other boys. The accident had seen to that. Although if I truly was a girl my voice probably wouldn't have lowered even if I hadn't been in an accident. But either way, I had thought that I was a boy, and a nice alto is not the type of voice that boys desired.
"What about now?" Matt asked next. "Do you still feel ashamed of it?"
"Oh, no," I replied truthfully and without a doubt. "I really love my voice now. It took getting signed to a record deal and singing in a concert, but I finally see it for what it is. I hope that people will continue to like my voice, and that I get the chance to use it for a long time to come."
"So you want to continue making more albums?" Aubrey asked.
"I really hope I get the chance," I replied to her. "I've realized that I've become addicted to performing now. The adrenaline rush you get when you step out on stage is something that I had never felt before in my life. I hope that I get to experience it for many, many years."
"I hope you get that chance," Aubrey told me with sincerity. "In the meantime, perhaps we can give you a taste of that now. Are you going to perform a song for us?"
"Yeah," I replied immediately. "You guys want to hear 'Intuition' again?" I had sung this song so many times over the last month that I was starting to get bored with it, but I was contractually obligated to continue promoting it, especially while it was sitting on the top of the charts.
"That would be great," Aubrey said, and Matt was nodding his head in agreement. "Sarah Carerra, everybody."
As the cheering started again, I stood up and walked over to the area of the set where the band was waiting for me. I stepped up to my microphone, and waited for the song to begin once again. The rush was already flowing through me.
Jason started through the intro, and like clockwork I joined in right on time. Despite my feelings for this song, I still enjoyed performing it, and I made sure to give the fans tuned in to the show a great rendition. They deserved nothing less.
As I started in to the second verse, I felt my voice catch slightly. I didn't know if anyone else noticed, but something started to feel off. Halfway through the second verse, I was hit with a stabbing pain in my stomach.
Immediately, I fell to my knees, unable to continue singing through the pain. I heard a gasp run through the crowd, and the band stopped playing. Sophie was at my side nearly instantly.
"Sarah, are you okay?" she asked. The pain started to subside, and I felt myself start to blush at the embarrassment I had just caused.
"Yeah," I replied, and started to stand back up. "I'm fine."
I don't think she believed me, though. Then I felt the pain rush through my gut again.
The second time I fell to the ground, I was met with nothing but darkness.
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The constant hum of machinery and the intermittent beeping were the first things that I became aware of. The smell of antiseptic was next. I opened my eyes a moment later.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.06 - Hospital Blues by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: September 6, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.06 - Hospital Blues
The constant hum of machinery and the intermittent beeping were the first things that I became aware of. The smell of antiseptic was next. I opened my eyes a moment later.
A hospital. I was in a hospital. Why was I here? I groaned.
"Are you awake?" I heard someone ask from nearby. I turned toward the voice to find my mom sitting beside the bed, a book in her lap.
"What happened?" I tried to ask, but my throat was dry, and I was not sure how well I was able to form the words. She smiled down at me, her grin slightly forced.
"If I tell you, will you remember it this time?" she asked in a tone that had a hint of humor in it. I didn't understand her question, and my brow furrowed.
"What do you mean?" I asked her. I was totally lost.
"Well, you do seem to be more alert today," she commented to herself.
"Mom!" I groaned. "What are you talking about?"
Mom's face lit up immediately. "You ARE awake!"
She reached for the call button and pressed it, then she picked up a cup that had been sitting on the table nearby. "Here, honey, drink this. It will help with your throat."
I nodded, and tried to pull myself into a sitting position. As I did, I was unnerved to find blonde waves fall in front of my face. Was I still wearing the wig?
I accepted the cup from my mom. I had so many questions, but I needed something to quench my throat if I was going to be able to ask them. I took a sip of the liquid inside. It was water.
Handing the cup back to my mom, I asked my question again. "What happened?"
She opened her mouth to answer, but we were interrupted by the door opening. As soon as it did, I heard many clicks and saw the flashes of cameras going off. That probably explained why I was still wearing the wig. Everybody here thought I was Sarah Carerra! I was still confused!
A nurse quickly rushed into the room, closing the door behind her with a click that I realized meant that the door was locked.
"Is she up again?" the nurse asked, posing the question to Mom instead of looking at me.
"Yes," Mom replied. "But she seems to be lucid this time."
"Oh!" the nurse said in surprise, looking at me for the first time. She had a curious look on her face, almost like she couldn't believe I was sitting there. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Sarah."
"Thank you, I guess?" I said, but it sounded more like a question. "Is someone going to tell me what happened?" I was becoming frustrated now.
The nurse looked over at my mother again, and I followed her gaze. Mom nodded, ready to start again. While she spoke, the nurse started checking the information on the machines that I was apparently connected to.
"You collapsed on stage while singing on the 'Wake Up!' show," Mom told me. "Do you remember that?"
"Yeah," I replied. "I had a horrible pain in my stomach. Am I okay?"
"You are now, sweety," the nurse interjected. Mom nodded.
"Apparently, you started your period earlier that morning," Mom continued to explain. "Dr. Mason believes that since the blood had nowhere for it to go, your body spasmed with pain, and you went into shock and became unconscious."
I sat there, stunned! I was supposed to have surgery to PREVENT this sort of thing from happening, but that wasn't scheduled until tomorrow!
"What about the surgery?" I asked, seeking clarification as to what would happen now. I really wanted to have that surgery, especially if I was having a period!
"Dr. Mason rushed you into surgery when you got here," she replied. "He was able to drop his other appointments and perform your surgery a day early."
"So, I have a...a..." I stammered, not able to complete the sentence.
"Yes, honey," Mom said. "Everything is as it should be now. You've been in and out of consciousness the last few days, but the doctors say everything is fine."
"The last few days? What day is it?" I asked immediately. How long had I been here? Wasn't it still Monday?
"You've been in the hospital for nearly four days, honey," Mom said. "It's Thursday."
"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously. How could I lose so many days?
"You had a bad reaction to the pain medication they gave you," Mom told me. "It made you really groggy, and you've been sleeping it off. You awakened a few other times, but you weren't really awake."
I stared at the door for several seconds. I could still hear many people outside, and I noticed that the blinds that looked out into the hallway were shut.
"Have they been here the whole time?" I asked, pointing toward the door. The anger that grew on Mom's face answered the question before she even opened her mouth.
"Unfortunately," Mom replied. She started to say something else, but glanced at the nurse for a second and then closed her mouth again. "Celebrity misfortunes are big news in the tabloid industry. Even some reputable papers are looking for more information about the teen heartthrob who collapsed. We haven't told them very much yet."
"Oh," I replied.
"Well, everything looks okay," the nurse interrupted us. "Would you like me to change your pad now, or come back in a few minutes?"
The question was directed at me, but I had no idea what she was talking about. I glanced over at my mom.
"You're still having your period, honey," she said. "There are some special precautions that need to be taken to help protect the surgical area while that is going on. Now should be fine, Catherine. I'll see if I can find Don."
"Okay," the nurse, Catherine, replied and set about removing things from a gurney in the corner of the room. Mom stood up.
"Will you be okay for a few minutes while I look for your dad?" she asked. I nodded. I was scared about what the nurse was preparing to do, but I really wanted to see my dad. Heck, I even wanted to see Austin. "Okay, I'll be right back then."
I watched as Mom stood up and headed for the door. She opened it, and looked back at me with love for a moment. Then she smiled and immediately closed the door behind her.
"In entertainment news, hospital spokesperson Jeffery Taggart stated that Sarah Carerra is now awake and is recovering well from the emergency surgery that she was rushed into after collapsing on the 'Wake Up!' show Monday morning."
The picture on the TV changed from the cute news anchor to a clip of me on stage at the concert.
"No official word has been released about the cause of the singer's collapse," she continued. "But a tentative press conference has been scheduled for Saturday morning, assuming that the teen has recovered well enough to attend. Taggart did add that the collapse was caused by a pre-existing medical condition that the singer was scheduled to undergo surgery for on Tuesday."
The picture cut away from my concert and back to the news anchor. "One of our correspondents caught up with Josh Holliday at his home in Salt Lake City earlier this morning for his reaction on Sarah's hospitalization. Sarah stated early Monday morning that the two of them were just friends, despite the rumor that the two have been dating. Derek, what do you have for us?"
The next cut showed a middle aged man standing in front of a nice home. "Thanks, Susan," the man said. "Whether they were dating or not, Josh Holliday’s and Sarah Carerra's names have been linked together a number of times over the last three weeks. I had the opportunity to sit down with Josh this morning and give him a chance to weigh in on the tragedy that befell his counterpart earlier this week."
I sat riveted on the bed, watching the television closely. The nurse had left 15 minutes earlier, and I was still waiting for Mom to come back. I wanted to see the results of the surgery, but the nurse had said that I was still bandaged up to the point where I wouldn’t be able to see anything. After the nurse left, I had turned on the TV to alleviate the boredom that had quickly set in and was surprised to see a news report about me.
The next thing I knew, Josh was on the television. He was sitting on an expensive looking couch in a well-appointed living room. I assumed that it was his house in Salt Lake City. My heart started beating faster just at the sight of him.
"What was your reaction when you found out about Sarah?" Derek, the correspondent asked.
Josh frowned, and I guessed that he was wishing he wasn't having this conversation in front of a camera. My heart went out to him for being put on the spot like this.
"I was really worried," he said. "I was watching the show at the time, and I was shocked to see her collapse like that."
I groaned. I had really hoped that Josh hadn't seen my interview. If he hadn't known my feelings for him beforehand, he knew now. But to actually have him see me collapse must have hurt him greatly. I promised myself that I would personally give him a call to ease his fears.
"Sarah and I have become close friends over the last few weeks. I'd hate to see anything bad happen to her."
I wanted to watch more of his interview, but the door to my hospital room opened at that moment, and Austin came barreling inside, running to my bedside. Dad and Mom slipped in behind him and quickly closed the door. I immediately turned the TV off to devote my attention to them.
Austin threw his arms around me, and I knew that he was crying. I felt tears start to well in my own eyes at his emotion.
"Don't ever do that again, Megan!" he sobbed at me. I wrapped my arms around him.
"I won't, Austin," I replied, holding him close. "I promise."
He let go of me and stepped back. Now he looked embarrassed at his emotional outburst. I smiled at him, and that seemed to put him at ease.
"How are you doing, Princess?" Dad pulled my attention away from Austin. I turned toward him and smiled through my tears.
"I'm okay, Daddy," I replied. "I'm sorry for all of this."
"Don't be sorry," he said. "This isn't your fault. We should have scheduled your surgery immediately to prevent this. It's our fault you had to go through this."
My tears weren't stopping, and I smiled through them to let him know that I didn't blame them. This was just bad timing.
"What happens now?" I asked him.
"Well, I think the doctors are going to want to keep you overnight for observation," he said. "But there haven't been any complications beyond your reaction to the pain medicine, and they believe you'll be released early tomorrow morning. We'll take you home and let you rest some more, but Saturday morning we have scheduled a press conference to talk about what happened." I nodded to let him know that I was okay with that. "We haven't told the press what happened yet and I think we'll try to call it 'womanly issues' or something like that. We don't have to go into detail. We just want you to be there to show them that you are doing okay."
I nodded again. Everything would be fine as long as I had my family with me.
I stared at the keypad of the phone in my hospital room a few hours later. I had picked it up with the intention of calling Josh, and I'd already entered all but the last digit of his phone number. But now I wasn't sure that it was a good idea. He must be worried, and heaven knew I wanted to hear his voice, but how much heartache would it cause by the time the call was finished?
With a soft sigh, I pressed the last number, and the phone started to ring. I hesitated once more, almost ending the call in the process. But in the end, I placed the phone to my ear and waited for him to answer.
Two rings later, I was ready to hang up. He obviously wasn't going to answer, and I was debating if I should stay on the line and leave him a message or not.
"Hello?" Josh's voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Hi, Josh," I said.
"Sarah?" he asked. There was a hint of excitement in his voice behind the worry. "Is that you?"
"Yes," I replied meekly. Now that I had him on the line, I wasn't sure what I was going to tell him. I certainly couldn't tell him the truth.
"Are you okay?" he asked immediately. "What happened?"
"I'm fine," I quickly said to calm him down. I hadn't heard such worry in his voice before. "I just had some..." I grimaced. I really didn't want to talk to him about this. "I'm fine."
"But what happened?" he asked again, worry still in his voice. "I was so worried when you collapsed like that!"
"The doctors said my body went into shock," I told him. "I don't really remember much after that. But I'm fine now."
"Can it happen again?" he asked, the worry still evident. Perhaps he still had feelings for me?
"No," I replied. "The surgery fixed me. It won't happen again."
"It must have been some major surgery," he stated. "The news reports said you've been unconscious all week! Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine, Josh," I replied. "I haven't been completely unconscious. Apparently I had a bad reaction to some pain medication, and I've been in and out of consciousness the last few days. I would have had to stay in bed that long to heal anyway, but I'm fine now."
"That's good to hear," he said. For the first time since he had picked up the phone, I heard relief in his voice. "I'm glad you called. I've been so worried, and I couldn't get any information out of Don."
"He didn't even tell you I was okay?" I asked. That didn't sound like Dad at all.
"Well, he did say that," Josh replied. "But he wouldn't tell me anything else."
That made sense, and it totally sounded like my dad. Even if he had been willing to give that information out, I was certain he wouldn't want to discuss it with the boy he knew I had a crush on. It couldn't get any more awkward then that.
"Congratulations," Josh said next, which completely threw me for a loop.
"What?" I asked. I had no idea what he was talking about now.
"On your first #1 single," he explained further.
"Oh," I said, feeling embarrassed now. I was all too aware of how he must really feel about my number one single. "I'm sorry, Josh, I..." I didn't know what to tell him. I was happy to have a #1 hit, but I felt bad that it had to come at his expense.
"It's okay, Sarah," he replied. "It's a good song, and you're a good singer. You deserve this. I had my run at the top."
I heard the regret in his voice, but I could also hear the sincerity.
"Josh, I..." I started to console him, but was interrupted immediately.
"Sarah, don't," Josh said. "I'm okay with it. You don't need to feel sorry about your song, okay?"
"Okay," I said. I didn't know what else to do.
"I've got to go, but thank you for calling," Josh continued. "I'm glad that you're alright. I'll talk to you later."
"Bye, Josh," I sighed into the phone as I heard it click. I was further than ever at winning him back.
Early the next morning I was awakened by a knock on the door. I decided to ignore it because I was not sure if it was someone I wanted to come in or if it was one of the reporters camping outside of my room.
Then the door cracked open, and I saw Catherine poke her head inside.
"Are you awake?" she asked. I sighed, but nodded. "Good, because Dr. Mason is here and would like to see you. Is that okay?"
I chuckled to myself while nodding my assent. This was a hospital, and I was a patient. My doctor shouldn't be asking for my permission to be seen. Perhaps he was trying to show respect for the newfound fame that I was garnering.
Catherine opened the door further and stepped inside, followed by a man who appeared to be in his early 50's. He had dark hair that was graying on the sides of his head and a smile that looked genuine instead of forced, like the night nurse's smile had been. I felt at ease almost immediately, if not completely comfortable.
"Good morning, Sarah," he stated once the door had been closed and locked once more. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," I replied. I felt weird talking to this man whom I was meeting for the first time, but who had performed such an intimate surgery on me.
"I'm here to give you a final check before we release you. Isn't that exciting?" he said. I nodded. I was ready to get out of here. I missed my family. I missed Emily and Ethan, who hadn't had a chance to come visit me, at least while I was awake. I missed Madison and her family. But most of all, I missed being Megan. I should be recuperating, but instead I had to stay on alert to keep the secret...well, a secret.
"Once I'm finished here, Nurse Stevens will show you what you'll need to do to keep the area clean until your period is over, and show you what you need to do for the next few weeks, okay?" Dr. Mason continued. I nodded once again.
"This is the embarrassing part," he stated while stepping up to where Catherine had already started to pull up the bed sheets and my hospital gown. Then he began to carefully remove my bandages. Bit by bit my new anatomy was uncovered, and I watched with awe and wonder as he unveiled what had happened to me.
It looked gross. It was black and blue, it looked swollen, and it was bruised all over. But more importantly, it looked complete. For the first time in my life, I was physically a girl! I’d had all of the internal parts my whole life, but now I had the external ones to go with them. I continued to stare as the doctor started to check his handiwork, and tears began to form.
Eventually, he looked up at me, and I smiled down at him through my tears. There weren’t any words that could express all of the emotions that I was going through.
“What do you think?” he asked me. I didn’t know what to say.
“It may be bruised and ugly right now,” Catherine spoke up. “But I assure you that it will look like any other girl’s once it has healed.”
I continued to beam through my tears. I had only ever seen diagrams of what I now had between my legs in health classes at school. I never thought that the first time I would be seeing something like this, it would be on me. But I couldn’t ask for anything else.
He carefully began to bandage the area back up. When he was done, he stepped closer to the top of the bed, where he could talk to me more comfortably.
"It looks like your period has stopped," he stated. "It may be erratic for a while, but soon you'll start to understand what your body is doing. I recommend that you visit a gynecologist in a couple of weeks, but otherwise you appear to be in good shape. Everything seems to be healing well. You'll probably be tender down there for another week or so, and I'd stay away from anything too strenuous. No crazy choreography, okay?"
I laughed. He certainly was a nice guy and had a way of keeping me at ease while talking about such an intimate topic.
"I don't know how to thank you properly," I told him. "I mean, is there anything I can do for you? You've changed my life for the better, and I feel I should repay you somehow. Do you want an autograph?"
Dr. Mason smiled while shaking his head. "No thanks are necessary, Megan," he said. I had forgotten that he knew the truth. Either that or he had learned it in this fiasco. I was originally supposed to be seeing him as Megan. "I'm just honored that I could give you the life you were supposed to have."
"Thank you," I said again, not sure what else to say.
"You're welcome," he replied. "Catherine will have your release forms when your parents arrive. I'll see you later."
"Bye," I said. I had just met this kind man who had forever changed the way I would live, and he was already leaving my life. I would be forever grateful.
It was another hour before the next knock interrupted my boredom. But that was all changed when the door opened and Chloe's bright red hair came bounding inside and to my bed.
"M...Sarah!" she screamed, catching herself since the door was still opened behind her, where my mom was following her inside. "I'm so glad to see you awake! How are you doing?"
"I'm ready to go home," I told her, causing a smile to form on her lips. "Can you take me?"
"With pleasure," she said and then wrapped me in the hug I knew she was waiting to give me.
"I'm so glad you're okay," she said. "Why didn't you tell me something like this might happen? Do you know how scared I was when you dropped to the stage like that? I thought you were dead!"
"I'm sorry, Emily," I replied quietly. The door was now closed, and I didn't want Sarah's life intruding on this moment any longer. "I didn't think anything bad was going to happen. I mean, I was supposed to have surgery the next morning!"
"Well, don't do that again," she stated, causing me to laugh at her tone.
"Yes, Mom," I replied, making her laugh too.
I then turned toward my real mom, who had walked in with Emily and was smiling down on me. I looked up at her, and she could see the unasked question in my eyes.
“Megan,” she said lovingly and wrapped me in a hug. “I’ve told you before that you are my little girl. This doesn’t change anything. Now you are my little girl in every possible way.”
“Is this really happening?” I asked her, tears escaping my eyes. It still felt somewhat like a dream. Only the boredom and pain made me think it was real.
“Yes, honey,” she replied. “I saw the results when Catherine was changing the bandages the other day, and I must admit that the doctor did a very good job. Have you seen it yet?”
I nodded, but didn’t know what else to say.
“So you’re a girl now?” Emily broke into the conversation. I turned to her, and smiled with a nod.
“I’ve always been a girl, Emily,” I told her.
She laughed at me. “I know that, Megan. That wasn’t what I was asking.”
“Oh,” I said. “Well, the doctor showed me, and it at least looked like the diagrams from health class, but I don’t have anything else to compare it to.”
“Don’t worry, Megan,” Mom said. “It may be swollen and purple, but it looks normal for a girl your age. In time, nobody will be able to tell the difference.”
I couldn’t stop beaming my smile at the two of them at that pronouncement. I was finally complete! I was finally the person who I was meant to be! I only wished I would have learned who that person was earlier in my life.
"Are you ready to go home?" Mom asked. Those were the six most beautiful words I had heard since waking up the day before.
"Definitely," I replied.
"Let's get you dressed, then," she said while holding up a bag. I smiled again.
Fifteen minutes later I was dressed in a pale yellow sundress personally picked out by Julia. Obviously, I needed to look my best because there were so many reporters and photographers waiting for me to leave, but I also needed to be comfortable. There was no glam today. Julia felt that the simple look would be what people would expect from someone leaving the hospital.
I had also managed to get my makeup looking presentable, and I was steeling myself to meet the press. Dad said that we weren't going to be answering any questions because of the press conference tomorrow morning, but he wanted me to pose for a couple of pictures to help reiterate that I was alive and well.
"Are you ready?" Dad asked. He had come in a few minutes earlier with the release forms in hand. I was all set to go. I just needed to make it to the car. I was walking out of this hospital. Dad felt that being wheeled out in a wheelchair might give the wrong message, and he wanted everybody to see me walking. Most of the pain from the surgery had dissipated into a dull ache, and I felt that I could make it without any problems.
"I guess so," I said. "I just wish that we didn't have to do this."
"I know, Princess," he replied. "It was just bad luck that this happened at all, but even worse luck that it happened while you were dressed as Sarah. We'll be okay. The car is waiting downstairs, and we'll get you home in no time."
He walked to the door, and I followed behind him. I took a deep breath, and then plastered a smile on my face. He opened the door and stepped out to make sure the way was clear.
The area outside of my room contained a small lobby, and photographers were jumping to their feet as I stepped out of the hospital room.
"Sarah!" someone yelled, and then flashes started going off all around me. I was momentarily blinded by the bright lights, and I felt myself stumble. Dad was there to catch me, and once I was on my feet again, he let go.
"No questions today," Dad said to the gathered group. "But Sarah has agreed to pose for some pictures."
I did as he said, and posed to let the photographers take the pictures they wanted.
"Are you okay, Sarah?" someone yelled out. That question I did want to answer. As we started walking toward the nearby elevators, I answered.
"Yes," I replied. "I'm slightly sore, but I'm perfectly healthy now."
Other people started yelling questions now that I had answered one, but I didn't reply. I made my way to the elevator as fast as I could behind Dad. Once inside and the doors had closed, I sighed in relief.
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He stepped up to the microphone, and I stopped short just behind him, in plain view of the large number of people that filled the room. I had never seen so many reporters and photographers in one place before!
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.07 - Press Forward by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: September 13, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.07 - Press Forward
Dad had hired a limo to take us home. I felt really weird leaving the hospital and climbing into a limo, but that's what happened.
"You need to take it easy for the next week or so, Megan," my mom said while we were driving.
"I know, Mom," I sighed. The doctor and Catherine had been pretty adamant about that. "Do I have any Sarah appointments?"
"No," Dad said. "After tomorrow's press conference, you don't have anything scheduled for a few weeks.”
I nodded. I wanted to be on stage again, but I understood the need to recover first. There would be plenty of time for appearances later.
"We'd like to get you into the studio, though," Dad continued. "It shouldn't be too much effort to record a few more songs, and we need to get working on them if we're going to get your album out in time."
"Okay," I told him. "I've got another song that I wanted to include, and a couple of other unfinished ones that I think I can get done."
"Good," Dad replied. "Scott will be happy about that. He was hoping that you would be able to provide most of the remaining songs. He wanted half of the songs on the CD to be written by you."
"Okay," I said again. We were pulling up to the house now. Uncle Kevin's van was not in the driveway. "Did Uncle Kevin go home?"
"No," Dad replied. "They took Austin and went to Disneyland this morning."
"Oh," I said, disappointed. I was hoping to see Madison again.
"They needed some vacation time, Megan," Dad replied as we exited the limo and started walking toward the house. "You scared everybody Monday morning, and it’s been a stressful week."
I sighed. That made sense. At least I had Emily and Ethan. I turned toward her.
"Where's Ethan?" I asked. I hadn't heard anything from him since we had gone to 'The Tonight Show' together last Friday.
Emily grimaced, and I immediately knew that I wasn’t going to be happy with the answer to my question. She didn't answer until we were inside and were sitting on the couch in the front room. "He's at summer camp," she finally said.
"What?" I asked incredulously. That didn't sound like Ethan at all! He'd never been to a camp in his life, and he'd never expressed an interest to do so! "Why?"
Emily sighed. I wouldn't like this answer either. "To get away from you," she said. I flinched. That was not the answer that I was expecting. "He said he needed time to figure things out, Megan. Don't be mad."
I wasn't mad - I was astonished! I knew that I had created a problem when I had kissed his cheek, but I thought that we would be working it out together. Now he was gone, and I had no chance to talk to him about his feelings, and...and to determine what mine were!
"When does he get back?" I asked, afraid that he would be gone all summer. I wasn't sure that I could handle that.
"At the end of next week," she said. "It was a two week camp, and he left early Monday morning. I don't think he even heard about your collapse, because he hasn't called for more information."
I sighed and leaned my head back against the couch. I was supposed to be recuperating, but instead I started my recuperation by being stressed out over Ethan.
I spent most of the rest of the day hanging out with Emily. We tried to watch TV and do things that had a minimum of physical activity. When Madison returned home, the three of us moved into Sarah's room, where we spent most of the night working on a new song. I was happy to have co-writers again, and I knew that Madison was excited that she could tell her friends that she had helped write one of Sarah's songs. I told her that her name would be listed on the album, and she practically beamed the rest of the night.
By the time I climbed into bed, I was exhausted. This was the first day I had been out of bed all week, and it showed. Madison had insisted that I sleep in my own room, in my very comfortable bed. She said that she'd sleep on the less comfortable couch bed in Sarah's room. I think she just wanted to sleep in there. Either way, I was grateful for the comfort of familiar surroundings as I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning came too early. I got up, showered, ate, and got dressed in another feminine sundress. Julia had decided that I needed glam today, and I was teetering on a pair of heeled sandals while I slipped on some bangles and a necklace.
The press conference was going to be held in the press room at Olympic Records, and Mom, Dad, and I set out early to get there in time. On the way, Dad handed me a sheet of paper.
"Read over this, Megan," he said. "These are the points that we want you to discuss, but please use your own words. After your statement, we'll be taking questions. You don't have to answer any that you don't want to, okay?"
"Okay," I said, taking the paper from him and looking it over. We were officially calling this a surgery to address "womanly issues." That seemed to be specific enough to give everyone a general idea of what went wrong, but vague enough that I didn't have to get into the details.
When we reached the studio, I felt my nerves start to grow. I was worried about answering some of the questions that I might be asked, and I did not know what I would say if they asked me something I didn't want to answer.
Dad pulled around to the side entrance that was kept clear of the press. They were going to get plenty of chances to ask me questions and take pictures. They didn't need to hound me when I got out of the car too. Once we were inside the building, we were led down a few hallways until we reached a small room where we could wait and get ready. Stephanie was there waiting for me.
"How are you doing, Sarah?" she asked me when I sat down in a seat to let her do my makeup.
"I'm tired but fine, Stephanie," I replied. "Thank you for asking. I'm nervous about the press conference, but physically I'm fine."
"That's good to hear," she said. I felt that she was hoping for more details, but I was unwilling to give them, and she seemed unwilling to ask directly. I sat in silence, going over the points that Dad had given me in my mind while she worked. I felt bad that I didn't talk to her like I usually did while she worked on me, but I just wasn't in the mood this morning.
When she was done, she leaned down and gave me a hug. I almost broke out in tears at her gesture. I really liked Stephanie, and I would call us friends, but she had never done anything like that before. I smiled back at her in appreciation when she let me go.
"It's not bad news, is it?" she asked. I realized that my depressive mood might have given her the wrong idea about the press conference. I shook my head.
"Not at all," I told her. "I just don't want to discuss this with everyone. What happened...it was very personal."
Stephanie nodded her understanding. Before she could say anything in reply, we were interrupted by Scott.
"Sarah!" he greeted me warmly when he entered the small room. "How are you doing?"
I was really getting sick of answering that question, but Scott was a genuinely nice guy. I wouldn't be where I was today without him, and his gentle manner had kept me from having a meltdown on more than one occasion while we worked in the studio.
"Hi, Scott," I replied. "I'm doing fine. I'm sorry about this."
"Don't be sorry," he replied. "You are an amazing young woman who I am privileged to work with. This is a small setback for your career, but in the greater scheme of things, it's a step forward in your personal life. Don't feel bad about this."
He was looking down at me with a quirky smile, and I couldn't help but chuckle back at him. He once again found a way to make me feel better and keep going.
"We're ready," said some lady whom I had never met. She spoke from a door that I guessed led into the press room. I stood up, and took a step toward her, but was intercepted by my mom.
"We'll be right behind you, okay?" she said and gazed at me with loving eyes. I nodded, and she stepped back to let me lead the way. Only Scott was in front of me as we walked through the door and over to a small podium.
He stepped up to the microphone, and I stopped short just behind him, in plain view of the large number of people that filled the room. I had never seen so many reporters and photographers in one place before!
"Good morning," Scott said into the microphone, and I diverted my attention to what he was saying. "My name is Scott Crawford and I am Sarah's representative with Olympic Records. Sarah will be giving a brief statement and we will be taking questions afterward. I ask that you hold all comments until that time. Sarah Carerra."
Scott stepped back from the podium and gave me a smile. I gulped before taking a step forward and then looked out at the crowd. There were so many of them, and I was startled when a few flashes went off. I just needed to get through this quickly.
"Good morning," I started. I could hear the nervousness in my voice, and cleared my throat. "Monday morning's incident was caused by a minor medical condition that I had learned about two weeks earlier. I was scheduled to have the condition corrected on Tuesday to prevent this sort of thing from happening, and it was purely bad timing that caused me to collapse."
I looked out at everyone again. Some seemed eager to hear my words, others looked at me with pity, and a few looked at me with concern. I pressed forward.
"My body went into shock just after I started singing because of some womanly issues that I would prefer not to go into detail about. I am completely fine, healing well, and not at risk for any repeats of what happened Monday morning. The condition has been completely corrected, and my doctors believe that I will have no adverse side effects.
"I want to reiterate to my fans that I am healthy, and I want to apologize to everyone who wanted to see me perform Monday morning. I'm sorry for disappointing you, and I hope I can make it up to you in the future. Thank you."
I stepped back from the podium for a second, trying to recapture my bearings. Some of the people in the audience were already shouting out questions, and I was quickly being overwhelmed. Scott stepped forward.
"One at a time, folks," he said. "Please don't ask your question until Sarah calls on you."
He stepped back again, and I hesitantly stepped forward.
"What kind of womanly problems?" someone screamed from the left side of the room. I glanced over, but I hadn't called on the man dressed in a polo shirt and jeans, and I certainly didn't want to answer that question, so I ignored him. Instead, I pointed to a young man toward the front that I recognized from a local news station.
"Ms. Carerra," he started. "You say that this condition was minor, yet hospital spokespersons said that you were unconscious for three days after the surgery. How minor could it be?"
"Yeah!" the guy from the left side of the room screamed again. "What womanly issues?"
Ignoring the jerk, I turned to answering the question from the young man.
"The medical condition could cause serious issues if it wasn't corrected," I told him. "But the procedure wasn't on or near any major organs. There is always a risk with surgery, but the success rate of this procedure was very high." I took a breath. I performed in front of thousands of people; answering a few questions couldn't be that bad. "I was not unconscious for all that time. I came out of the anesthesia without complications, but I had a bad reaction to the pain medicine that they put me on. I repeat - I wasn't unconscious, I was sleeping that off."
With his question answered, I quickly searched through the numerous raised hands for someone else to call on. I pointed to a woman wearing a smart business suit.
"You mentioned womanly problems," she said. "But was any of this caused by your use of drugs and alcohol?"
I was stunned at her question for a moment! I had never even seen an illegal drug, and I had never taking a sip of an alcoholic drink! But her tone seemed to imply that I had done both.
"No," I replied curtly. "I have never taken an illegal drug in my life, and I don't drink. And I never plan to do either. This was purely biological, and not caused by anything I have done in my life."
She smiled like a cat hovering over a canary, and I quickly pointed at another guy. Before he got a chance to ask his question, we were interrupted by the man on the left again.
"What womanly issues?" he yelled again. I gritted my teeth, and someone actually yelled back "Shut up, Brady."
When it was quiet again, the man whom I had pointed to asked his question. "How will this affect your schedule, and are there any accommodations you need to make?"
"The doctors have asked that I take it easy for another week or two," I told him. "I did not have anything scheduled because this was a planned surgery. But I'll be back in the studio next week to start recording for the album again. I should be back on stage shortly thereafter."
"What womanly issues?" Brady yelled again. I almost yelled back; how inconsiderate could he be? Instead, I pointed to a man who had graying hair, but had a friendly smile on his face.
"Why won't you answer Brady's question?" the man asked, making me wish I hadn't picked him.
"Yeah!" Brady yelled.
I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. But Scott stepped up beside me and spoke instead.
"Please be respectful of Ms. Carerra's desires," he said. "If you cannot wait your turn to ask a question, we will cut this press conference short."
He stepped back again, and I turned toward a young woman whom I recognized from one of the shows Emily and I liked to watch together.
"Have you spoken with Josh since you woke up?" she asked. I couldn't help it; her question had me blushing immediately. I really felt embarrassed when a few people started to chuckle at my reaction.
"Yes," I was finally able to reply. "I called to tell him that I was okay after seeing his interview the other day. Like I've said, Josh and I are good friends."
I pointed at another guy whom I recognized. I hoped that if I recognized them, I might remember who the good ones were.
"Can you elaborate on what you mean by womanly issues?" he asked. I was ready to strangle him! Why couldn't people just respect my desire for privacy in this matter!
"Yeah, what womanly issues?" Brady yelled again.
I hated myself the moment I did it, but I snapped. "I had a blockage during my first period, okay?!" I yelled back at him. "Are you happy now?"
Immediately I felt the tears start pouring out of my eyes, and I turned away from the podium. I couldn't answer anything else now. Mom was there immediately, and she wrapped her arms around me and started moving me toward the door we had entered through.
"What is wrong with you people!" Scott shouted into the microphone. "Couldn't you respect her wishes? This press conference is now over. Leave immediately."
Then I was through the door and into the silence of the room that Stephanie had done my makeup in. She was still there, and she looked stricken at what had just happened. Mom led me over to a pair of seats, and I sat down and leaned my head against her shoulder and cried.
A knock on my open door caused me to look up from where I was lying on my bed. Dad was standing there with a goofy smile on his face. Despite how bad I felt, it made me smile.
"Hi, Princess," he greeted me.
"Hi, Daddy," I replied. I couldn't quite keep the smile on my face long enough to greet him properly. But it was enough, he stepped into my room and came and sat down on the side of my bed.
I'd been lying on my bed alone for a few hours now, trying to come to grips with the twists that my life had thrown at me this week. We'd gotten home from the press conference just in time to say goodbye to Uncle Kevin and his family. It was a teary goodbye between Madison and me. Emily had been there when Madison was gone, but she too had left for a family commitment. I knew that I was wallowing in self pity, but I didn’t feel like doing anything else. I didn't even get a chance to see Mary this morning, because she was out of town. I really could have used a good session with her.
"This isn't the end of the world," Dad told me. I grimaced at him. It certainly felt like the end to me. Everybody in the world now knew that I had just had my first period! The whole world! This wasn't like being in class at school the first time and not knowing what to do. This was on a global scale! I knew I had fans all over the world, and the press conference, or at least the news, had spread to them by now.
Dad held up a stack of papers, which left me puzzled.
"Scott just faxed these over," he said. "They might cheer you up a bit."
"What are they?" I asked. I was ready for any glimmer of hope that these feelings would end.
"These are the results of some polls that were conducted since the press conference," Dad replied. "Your popularity is skyrocketing right now."
"Oh great. Now I'm famous because of my misery," I cried, and I could feel the tears start to bubble in my eyes once more.
"While some of it may be because of your misfortune, the majority of it is not," Dad said. I grunted, because that seemed unlikely. "I'm serious, Megan," he stated. "You won over the Mom and the young female adult fan base this morning. They can relate to what you are going through, and they are sympathetic to how you are feeling. These polls show just how much they are on your side. This may not be the type of publicity that we would have wanted for you, but it does work in your favor."
Perhaps he was right. Every woman has had to go through this at some point. Every woman has had a first period, and they have had to deal with its consequences. The only difference here was that mine had made the news. Heaven only knew how much I wished that wasn't the case.
"This one will make you feel even better," Dad said and shuffled through the papers. Then he started reading.
"Dear Ms. Carerra," he read. "With deep regret I am writing this later to apologize for the actions of my reporter, Brady Townsend. Mr. Townsend was out of line at your press conference, and never should have yelled his question or even asked that specific question at all. I deeply regret assigning him to cover your story, and I personally wanted to inform you that his actions do not reflect the feelings and attitudes of our esteemed paper.
"Mr. Townsend has been terminated from his position as an entertainment columnist and is no longer employed by my company. Please accept this apology with the intent that it is written, and get well soon. Hollywood isn't the same without you. Best regards, Tanner Beesley, editor-in-chief of the Hollywood Herald."
If anything could bring a smile to my face, that letter had been it! I knew I lit up like a Christmas tree.
"I told you that would make you feel better," Dad said with a chuckle and a bright gleam in his eye. His smile had grown tenfold when I had smiled, and I knew that it was hurting him to see me depressed.
"You’re right," I replied. "That is one of the best things that I could have heard."
"Good," he said. "How about you come out of here and we have a late lunch?"
I smiled back at him. I loved my dad so much. But I had to turn him down.
"I can't," I replied, and he immediately frowned. Instead, I reached down to the floor beside my bed and picked up my guitar case. "I have something I need to do first."
"Okay," he replied, and his smile returned. He nodded at me and stood up. "We'll be out here when you’re done."
I nodded back to him. I would have loved to walk out of this room with him. But now that my spirits had been lifted, the pain and agony that I had felt this morning were starting to solidify into an idea - an idea that would make for an excellent song.
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The press conference had taken away the one thing that I enjoyed most about being Sarah, and it left me shying away from the idea of performing again. The adrenaline rush that made it all worthwhile seemed to pale in comparison to what I was feeling now.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.08 - It's a Date by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: September 20, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.08 - It's a Date
I spent the rest of the weekend lounging around the house, trying to take it easy. Dad had told me that if I felt up to it, we could return to the studio on Monday. With that news in mind, I tried to finish up and polish the songs that I had been working on since my concert. If I could get them finished, then I hoped I could go over them with the band and we could work together to add the instruments that I didn't know how to write for.
I played the guitar, and I knew how to write songs for it. But I didn't know how best to use the drums and the bass that were also at our band's disposal. Ever since I had performed my concert and started writing the four songs I'd been working on over the last two weeks, I could start to identify how I wanted the drums and the bass to be used, but I still didn't know how to translate those sounds into notes on a sheet of music. I was hoping that the members of 'Pop Fly' would help me learn. The more I could add to my music, the better it would sound.
Other than my music, I spent most of my time with Emily and Anna. They often came over and we'd watch some TV or a movie, or play a game or two. It felt nice to lounge around with them; it almost felt like old times. We even listened to the countdown show together, where 'Intuition' managed to hold on to the #1 spot again.
By Monday I became restless, though. I wanted to get out of the house and do something. I was healing well from the surgery, and while not completely pain-free, I was moving around much like I had before the fateful events of a week ago. When I told Dad that I was ready to get back into the studio, he smiled and told me that he already had one booked for today!
"Scott has two new songs for you," Dad said while we sat around the table eating breakfast. "He was hoping that you would come in and get a start on finishing the album if you were feeling better. We're really starting to run out of time now."
"I thought we scheduled time for my recuperation?" I asked him. How could we be running out of time if we knew that I would be out for a week or more?
"We thought we had scheduled enough time," he replied. "But the company that is making the CDs moved up the deadline for when we needed to have everything done. Scott has more information and was hoping to meet with us this morning."
"Okay," I said and took another bite of my cereal.
An hour and a half later, my dad and I were sitting in Scott's office.
"How are you feeling?" Scott asked me. I clearly heard the concern in his voice, and I knew that he didn't want to rush me back to work if I wasn't ready for it. But I was pleased that he was genuinely concerned.
"I'm feeling almost back to normal," I told him. "I still have some pain, but it's pretty minor."
"Good," he replied and a large smile grew across his face. "I talked to your doctor this morning. He said that if you felt up to it, we could put you back to work. Are you ready?"
"I guess so," I replied. "I mean, after the press conference on Saturday, some of the magic of Sarah isn't there anymore. I think...I don't feel as confident as I did before."
"That's understandable," Scott replied. "This couldn't have been easy for you, and the press conference certainly didn't help. But you're a strong woman, Sarah. You'll get through this without any problems."
I smiled weakly back at Scott. I hoped he was right, but I still felt nervous about appearing in public again. The press conference had taken away the one thing that I enjoyed most about being Sarah, and it left me shying away from the idea of performing again. The adrenaline rush that made it all worthwhile seemed to pale in comparison to what I was feeling now.
"We have a full schedule ready for you this week, if you're willing," Scott said. I knew that he saw the reluctance in my face, and I could see the concern grow in his eyes. I knew that I wouldn't be giving up Sarah over this, but it was going to be difficult for the next few weeks - especially if someone brought up the events of last week again.
I nodded with grim determination to show Scott that I was willing to do what it would take. I knew that the only way I could get through this was to push on and do what I needed to do. I would not back out now. I had too many people depending on me.
"Great!" Scott exclaimed and smiled again. "Today, we would like to record two new songs. Your dad said that you were working on some more of your own?"
"Yeah," I replied. "I have four songs that I've been working on since the concert." I lifted up my notebook. "I still need some help with the other instruments, but I have a few ideas of what I was hoping to get out of the songs."
Scott smiled at me. "I'm sure that they will turn out great. If we have time today I'd like to hear them. If not, we can get you and the band back in tomorrow to work on them together. The sooner we get the songs done, the better."
I nodded again, and Scott looked down at the sheet of paper in front of him. "On Wednesday, we have a photo shoot scheduled. We need to get the album art taken care of quickly, as that will actually be the hardest part to get ready. We have some ideas that we can go over and then we can decide what we want it to look like.
"On Thursday, we want to start filming a music video for your next single," Scott said, surprising me. "Your dad thought that you might want to release 'Ever After' next. Is that okay?"
I looked at Dad, who was beaming down at me. I smiled back. 'Ever After' was the PERFECT song to release for my second single! "It's perfect," I told Scott with a huge smile.
"We have a creative director who has some ideas for the video," Scott told me. "He felt that the story in the song would be a great thing to bring to life. Also, it shouldn't require you to do anything that would stress your body after the surgery."
I was relieved. The doctors had said that I would need to take it easy for a few weeks. The last thing I wanted to do was injure or exhaust myself or start working sooner than I should. But if Scott had cleared this with my doctor, then I felt better about it.
"The shoot is scheduled to last through Saturday," Scott continued. "Then we hope to have you back in the studio on Monday to finish the songs. If you have four songs to use, then I think that will be enough for the album. That would put us at 13 if we include the cover song. Hopefully we can have our part wrapped up by the end of the month."
"Okay," I replied once again. Having the schedule laid out in front of me was exciting. I couldn't wait to see how the music video turned out.
Scott then handed me some papers. I immediately recognized them as sheet music, and knew that it was time to go to work.
"Here are the two new songs," he said. "I think that these will really sound good, and they'll help round out the album. We've reserved a studio for you and the band after lunch, so you have some time to familiarize yourself with the songs before we head in. I'll see you at 1:30."
"Thank you, Scott," I said while taking the proffered sheets. "I'm glad that you are here for me. I couldn't do this if I didn't know that you were on my side."
Scott smiled again at me. "Sarah, let me be honest with you," he said. "Normally, I don't get this involved with the people I work with. But there's something about your energy and your humility that makes my job fun again. That’s why I took a larger role in managing your account. Heck, it's why I agreed to produce the album. I know that you are hurting right now. I can feel that. But I also know that you'll get over this and it will make you a stronger person. I'm just glad I can be a part of your story."
I couldn't do anything but smile back.
Dad looked anxious when we sat down in a small lobby area a few minutes later. It was only about 10:00, and I didn't have a recording studio to use until 1:30. I knew that I would have plenty of time to learn the songs before entering the studio with the band to try and record them. Because we were starting after lunch, I figured that it was likely we would be in the studio until late that evening.
"What is it?" I asked Dad a moment later when I could tell that there was something on his mind.
"I need to go to my office," he said. "With everything that happened last week, I haven't had a chance to go in since Wednesday, and there are some things that I need to get done. Will you be okay here alone?"
I smiled. I wasn't a little girl; I'd been alone before. "Yes, Dad," I replied. "I think I'll be okay alone. I am 16, you know."
He laughed outright at that response. But he ended with a smile. "That's not what I meant," he said. I nodded back to show I understood. "You know, we might want to look into getting Sarah a car. It would certainly help free up my time when I have other things I need to do."
"I thought you liked hanging out with me," I said with a mock frown. He laughed again. "Are you serious, though?'
"Yes," he replied. "You've proven yourself to be reliable and responsible. I think that your mom and I could trust you with a car. I know we've been reluctant in the past, but you've certainly given us reason to rethink that. Start thinking about what kind of car you think Sarah would drive."
"Any car?" I asked, visions of luxury dancing around in my eyes. Dad drove a nice car, and I knew that I would want something similar, especially if Sarah was going to be seen in it.
"Yes," he replied. "But remember that this will come out of Sarah's earnings, your money. You must be willing to part with the money before you buy the car that you decide upon."
"Alright," I said, frowning slightly. I definitely didn't want to waste a bunch of my own money.
He stood up. "I'll be back before you head into the studio, okay?"
"See you then," I smiled up at him. I felt liberated as I watched him walk away! Sarah never really spent much time alone, and it was a new feeling.
I turned my attention to the music that Scott had given to me. The first song was entitled 'Together' and seemed to be about two people who meet each other randomly, and the events that led up to their realization of how much they cared for one another. Looking at the notes surrounding the lyrics, I had a feeling that this was going to be a fun song.
The second song was called 'Turn Around'. It too was a song about a relationship, but this one talked about the frustrations that working together could cause, and how to overcome them. It looked like it was going to be a really fast song, and I was excited to hear it for the first time.
I spent five minutes going over the lyrics for 'Together' before my phone rang. The caller ID showed that it was my cousin Tracy. I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to have gone to lunch with her the previous Monday. Did she know why I couldn't make it?
"Hello?" I answered the phone hesitantly.
"Megan?" Tracy asked, confirming that she had reached her intended target.
"Hi, Tracy," I replied. "How are you doing today?"
She chuckled lightly before replying. "I was going to ask you that. Still recovering from the surgery?"
"Yeah," I said. "I'm still a little sore, but it isn't anything too painful."
"That's good to hear," she said. "Anyway, if you're feeling up to it, I was hoping that I could take you to lunch today. Heather would certainly like to see you again, I'm sure."
I smiled at the thought of seeing Tracy's infant daughter again. Heather was so adorable, and I hoped that I could have a daughter just like her some day. Wow, that thought came out of left field! I had never considered children since learning about who I truly was. That would mean a whole different set of responsibilities in bringing a baby into the world. I was struck with excitement and trepidation at the thought. But if they were anything like Heather, it would totally be worth it.
"I'd love to," I told Tracy. Even if I took an hour to go to lunch with her, I'd still have plenty of time to go over the songs before I had to be in the studio. "But we'd have to go soon. I have an appointment at 1:30 that I can't miss."
"How about now?" Tracy asked. "I have to work at 1:00, so early would work for me too."
"Okay," I agreed.
"Great," she replied. "I can be over at your house to pick you up in about ten minutes."
Uh, oh - I had just realized the flaw in my plan to go to lunch with her today! I was stuck at the studio as Sarah! How would I explain something like that to her? Perhaps today wouldn't work after all.
"Um," I managed to get out, but I still wasn't sure what to say.
"Let me guess," Tracy spoke up immediately. "You're at the studio."
"Yeah," I replied, and then I winced. There was absolutely no reason for her to think I was at a studio. Why would she even ask that? More importantly, why would I do something stupid like confirming it? Was I incapable of keeping the secret from anybody?
"So it's true, then?" she asked. I didn't need her to clarify what she was asking. It was obvious that she had figured it out. At this rate everyone in the world would know before the summer was over!
"Yeah," I sighed into the phone. "Perhaps this isn't such a good idea."
"Nonsense," she said. "I can pick you up there, and we can eat at Callie's. It's nearby and shouldn't take too much time."
I sighed, and then reluctantly agreed because I couldn’t think of an alternative. She seemed to know a lot about Sarah, since she seemed to know where the studio was located. Seeing Tracy again would now be a mixed blessing. "Call me when you get here," I told her. "I'll come out to meet you."
"See you in a bit," she replied before hanging up. I just started to worry.
I was nervous as I approached the front doors to the record company. I was safe inside the building, but there were always a few people milling about outside waiting to snap a picture of someone on their way in or out. Tracy had just called, and she was waiting for me outside.
As I stepped out the door, I was surprised to note that the area was void of any photographers. In fact, nobody but the valet was outside. I was relieved and looked around for Tracy. Her Escalade was parked nearby, and I walked over to it. I opened the door, and looked at her, giving her a wry smile.
"Hi, Tracy," I said. She just stared back at me. There was no way that I was going to take off the wig inside the record company, where someone could have seen Megan walking around instead of Sarah. I knew that I would have to meet Tracy as Sarah. When she didn't say anything, I hopped up onto the passenger seat and reached for my seatbelt.
"Wow," she finally managed after I clicked the belt into place. "I honestly wasn't expecting to meet you...Sarah, I mean. I thought you would have taken the wig off or something."
"Not in there," I said, motioning back at the building. "Only one person knows the truth. I wouldn't want to risk anyone else learning it."
She started to pull away from the curb, but kept glancing my way while she drove.
"Does this mean that I'm going to be having lunch with Sarah Carerra?" she asked.
"No," I said, "because we would get much more attention than we would want. I am planning on taking off the wig in your car."
"Okay," Tracy said. I could hear the disappointment in her voice, but she seemed to understand. I reached up and started unpinning the wig. Once I had it off I let down my own hair and then removed the glam. When I was done, I knew I looked nothing like Sarah.
When we reached the restaurant, Tracy found a parking spot, and we stepped out of the car. I waited for her to unstrap Heather's car seat before I got a chance to say hi to the beautiful baby girl properly. To my disappointment, she appeared to be asleep.
"She'll wake up in a bit," Tracy said, noticing my new look. "But wow, you look completely different now!"
I smirked. At least it wasn't my appearance that had tipped her off.
We walked inside and were quickly seated at a table with Heather on a chair next to us. She looked so peaceful sleeping, and I wished I could share some of her calm.
"So, a period, huh?" Tracy stated, returning my attention to her. I could tell she didn't believe what she had read in the news. I sighed and then nodded.
"It's not a lie," I told her. "I found out two weeks ago that I really am a girl. Mom took me to a specialist after Aunt Judy's birthday party, when you mentioned there might be another cause for, you know."
Tracy nodded her head. She still didn't seem to fully believe me.
"Turns out I have all the internal plumbing, but I just didn't have the external parts. The blockage was because of that."
"Seriously?" she asked. At least she didn't shoot down my explanation. I just nodded. She seemed to consider that response for a moment before smiling. "Well, welcome to the club."
I smiled back at her. Tracy was my favorite cousin on Mom's side of the family. She was five years older than me, but whenever we got together she made the time fun. Having her support meant more to me than anything Sarah could give me. Sarah was a big part of my life, but she wasn’t real. She didn’t have a family, and family had always been really important to me. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost Tracy through this.
"How did you know?" I asked her. I had failed to keep Sarah a secret from my two favorite cousins. Only Katy, the other cousin I was really close to on Mom's side, was out of the loop. But I needed to know what I had done wrong if I was going to keep it that way. I knew Dad still didn't like other people finding out, even if they were family.
"Well, I didn't really know for sure until you said you were at the studio," Tracy replied. "When I called to see if you were ready to get some food last Monday, your dad answered the phone. I was truly worried about you being rushed into surgery. I called back later, and he said that you were alright. Tuesday morning I learned about Sarah's collapse on stage. I thought it was tragic, but I didn't think any more about it until Saturday, when I caught part of the press conference on TV.
"I couldn't figure out why your mom was there. Your dad is Sarah’s agent, so I could understand why he was there. But I couldn't understand your mom’s presence. Then, when she wrapped you in her arms and rushed you out of the room, I was really confused. Then things started to click."
I sighed. While I wasn't happy that people were guessing the secret, it was nice to know that it was because they knew my family and me so well, and not because of something that I had done.
The waitress chose that moment to interrupt us, and we ordered our food. After she left, I wasn't sure what to talk about. I just stared down lovingly at Heather for a moment.
"You're amazing, you know that?" Tracy broke my reverie. I looked up at her, puzzled why she said that. "Well, you couldn't get me up on a stage like that. But your song is really good. I wish you would have told me about the concert so I could have watched it. But at least I got to see you on 'The Tonight Show'. You looked really good there, by the way."
I blushed. I hadn't thought about what my extended family would think if they found out about Sarah. Now I wished that she had seen the concert too. Dad had been given a few copies of it on DVD, and I knew that I had to lend one to her.
Before I could respond the waitress was back with our salads, and we decided to eat. Sarah was pushed to the side as we talked about more important things than my alter ego. It was nice to see Tracy again, and it became better when Heather woke up.
"Hi, Heather!" I cooed when she looked up at me with curious eyes. Immediately, a smile crossed her face and she let out a small giggle. I was afraid that she'd be in a bad mood after waking up, but she seemed to be happy and ready to experience more of life.
I saw Tracy smile at me before reaching into Heather's car seat to unstrap her. Then she pulled out Heather and surprised me by handing her to me.
As I cradled her in my arms, I smiled at the wonderful feeling that being close to her invoked in me. It was different than the rush I had on stage, but it was just as powerful.
"I guess I now know why you wanted to go to lunch instead of get paid when you babysat her," Tracy said. I had to smile. "I mean, money must not be an issue for you anymore."
"Maybe," I replied, looking up at her just long enough to smile before turning my attention back to Heather. "But there's something magical about holding her in my arms."
Tracy smiled back. "I know what you mean, Megan. That's why I know that you truly are a girl. And someday, you'll make a great mother."
As I looked down at Heather, I hoped that Tracy was right.
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I smiled. This was the first time that I had seen the band since I had collapsed on stage. While I deeply regretted not calling them to let them know I was okay, I was happy that they cared enough to worry.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.09 - The Band Played On by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: September 27, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.09 - The Band Played On
I was putting the last pin into my wig when my phone rang. Tracy had pulled over on the way back to the studio to allow me to put the wig back on without the painful experience I had gone through the day of the concert, when I tried to pin it on in Dad's moving car.
I quickly finished and reached for my purse. I knew that someone was calling Sarah because of the ringtone, and I figured someone at the studio was wondering where I had gone. A quick glance at the screen told me that it was my dad calling me.
"Hi, Don," I said. He wouldn't be calling me on Sarah's line if he wanted me to call him ‘Dad’.
"Sarah!" Dad replied immediately. There was urgency in his voice. "Where are you?"
"I went out to lunch with Tracy," I told him. He was beginning to worry me now with his tone. Was something wrong?
I heard him sigh in relief before speaking. "Why wouldn't you tell me that?" he asked.
"You ran to your office!" I replied loudly. "I had plenty of time to go to lunch with Tracy and still learn the songs!"
"You still should have called and told me," he said. "I came back to find you gone, and nobody knew where you were."
"Dad," I said in a tone that I hoped garnered his attention. "I'm 16. I can take care of myself. I'm going to be away from you if we buy a car anyway. You have to accept that."
I heard him sigh. I knew that he was worried about me after last week, but I was fine.
"Yes, but you will also need to tell us where you’re going. Where are you now?" he asked in a calmer tone of voice.
"We're on our way back," I told him. "We just ran over to Callie's."
"Okay, I'll see you in a bit," he said, and I heard the line go dead. I sighed and returned the phone to my purse.
"I didn't get you in trouble, did I?" Tracy worriedly asked while pulling back into traffic. We were already most of the way back to the studio.
"No," I told her. "He's just been worried about me because of what happened last week, and he's being overprotective again."
"Still, I'm sorry. We probably should have called him," she said.
"There's no need to apologize, Tracy," I told her. "We didn't do anything wrong. Dad has to learn that he doesn't need to be there with me all of the time. I know he wants to, but it isn't always necessary."
"If you say so," she said while pulling up to the studio entrance. I was disappointed to see that there were people with cameras hanging around this time.
"Thank you for lunch, Tracy," I replied. "I'll talk to you later."
"Bye, Sarah," she said with a quirky smile. "It was nice to meet you."
I looked back at Heather, and gave her a small wave before opening my door and stepping outside. I'd only taken two steps toward the door before I was noticed by the photographers, and they started snapping shots as I approached. I tried to put a smile on my face while I passed, but I wished they'd leave me alone. I didn't look back at Tracy, because I didn't want them to focus on her.
Once I was inside the building, I found Dad waiting for me. He looked really stressed for some reason. I mean, it was only lunch! I had not been kidnapped or something.
"Hi," I said nervously when I approached him. I wasn't quite sure what to expect.
He smiled back, and I got the feeling that he wanted to wrap me in a hug. But he didn't. That wouldn't be proper between my manager and me. Instead he nodded his head, and I could see the relief wash over him that I was back where he could see me.
"What's wrong?" I asked him immediately. I wanted to know why he was so anxious about me being out on my own. Besides, I wasn't even alone because Tracy had been there.
"Nothing," he said. I didn't believe him for a second. But he didn't seem willing to continue the discussion. Before I could press for more information, he handed me a folder.
"What's this?" I asked him. I opened the folder and looked at the first page.
"These are endorsement opportunities," he replied. I flipped through some of the pages. Makeup, clothing, accessories, even..."
"No!" I said adamantly and pointed at one of the papers. Dad peered down at it and frowned.
"I already told them no," Dad said. "I thought I had taken it out of the file."
I looked back at the paper. There was absolutely no way I was going to endorse Tampax products after what had happened on Saturday.
I flipped through a few more pages before Dad interrupted me. "I just wanted to get you thinking about which ones you would like to endorse," he said. "We can go over them later this evening at home. Did you learn the songs Scott gave you yet?"
"No," I replied and handed the folder back to him. "I was planning on doing that now. We still have about an hour until the studio is available, right?"
Dad looked at his watch and then nodded his head. "Yes," he added. "Come on. Let's go back to the lobby where we can get some more privacy."
An hour later I stepped into the studio that had been set aside for my recording session. I was really excited to work on both of the new songs that Scott had given to me, especially 'Together'. I was jealous that I hadn't actually written 'Together' because I was totally in love with it. I couldn't wait to hear the full band playing it instead of my solo rendition on my own guitar. Furthermore, I was jealous that Jason would be playing lead guitar when we performed the song.
In fact, I liked the song so much that I wished that we could use it as my second single. But I knew that would never happen. We already had too many things in the works to get 'Ever After' in place. I vowed that it would be the next one, though.
"Sarah!" My thoughts were interrupted by someone calling my name, and the next thing I knew I was enveloped in somebody's arms. "I'm so glad to see you're okay!"
I smiled. This was the first time that I had seen the band since I had collapsed on stage. While I deeply regretted not calling them to let them know I was okay, I was happy that they cared enough to worry.
"Hi, Sophie," I replied. I had practically been in her arms when I blacked out last Monday. She let go of me and stepped back, only to be replaced by Holly. Once she was done hugging me, I noticed that the guys had stopped setting up their equipment and had come over.
Without saying a word, Jason wrapped his arms around me, holding me tighter than either of the girls had. I blushed immediately. Jason was six years older than me, and had never done anything remotely like this. But he wasn't the only one. Both Connor and Stacy followed his lead. Nobody said anything until after every one of them had hugged me in his own precious, personal way.
"Don't ever do that again, Sarah," Jason said. I could see a caring look in his eyes. I'd only known these people for just over two weeks, but we had already become close friends. I couldn't imagine not having them up on stage with me.
"I'm sorry, guys," I said. "I should have called to let you know that I was okay."
"Don't worry about it," Stacy said, but he was nodding his head like he agreed with my statement instead of his own words. I couldn't believe that I had called Josh, but not these guys! What was I thinking? Why had I done that?
Scott stepped into the studio at that point, and the mood changed immediately. In the studio, Scott was the boss. The guys turned around and started finishing the preparations that they needed to use their equipment. I set down my own guitar next to the couch in the control booth. I wouldn't be using it today.
"Good, everyone is here," Scott said when he noticed us getting back to work. "Did everyone get a chance to go over the songs?"
Choruses of assent rang around the studio. We'd all had time to look at the songs and try to learn our parts. Now we just needed to bring them together.
"Great!" he enthused. Then he looked into the studio where the guys were still setting up their instruments. "When you guys are ready, we'll give it a shot at the instrumentals. Have you guys been practicing?"
"Yes, Scott," Jason replied. "That's why you gave us the music a few days ago, right?"
I laughed. I was given the music only a few hours ago, and I was already set to start singing. But I had forgotten how long it could take to learn a new piece on an instrument. They certainly deserved a lot of credit for making my music sound so good.
Once the guys were ready, Scott had them start with 'Together'. When Stacy's drums and Connor’s bass started the strong beat that gave the song its distinctive tone, it sounded even better than I had imagined. It sounded so good, in fact, that I started singing along without even realizing it. It wasn't until after the first strum of Jason's guitar that Scott turned toward where I was sitting with Sophie and Holly on the couch in the control room.
"Sarah, shhh!" Scott said. I blushed immediately, but I shut up. It didn't help that the girls next to me were giggling at the scene. Scott got a quirky smile on his face when he realized what he had just done, but he didn't say anything and went back to listening to the guys.
It took about 45 minutes before Scott was ready to try adding our vocals. It was obvious that the band had been practicing the song. From the start they sounded great to me, but Scott tweaked parts here and there and they sounded even better! It didn't take much to get them to Scott's desired perfection. When the girls and I stepped into the studio to work on our part of the song, I was worried that we wouldn't be up to the same level.
This time, when the beat started to sound around me, I started to sing and I wasn't interrupted by Scott. We didn't get through the whole song before I forgot my words, but it was pretty close to the end. The second time through was better, and soon we were on our way to having it finished.
The second song went much the same. 'Turn Around' was faster than anything else I had previously recorded, and after singing it three times in a row, I actually had to take a break to catch my breath.
"You're doing well," Scott told us when I told him I needed a break. "Everyone take ten. Then we'll come back and finish it up."
I nodded, and turned toward the small table that had my bottle of water on it. Uncapping the bottle, I took a long drink.
I was starting to get tired. It was getting close to 5:00 PM, and I already felt like I had been in the studio for a whole week. I realized that I didn't have the energy reserves I'd had three weeks ago when I was preparing for the concert. I figured it must be a remnant of the major surgery and bed rest that I'd just had. I hoped that I could get through this busy week they were throwing at me so soon after my surgery.
I stepped into the control room, where Dad was sitting on the soft, inviting couch while working on his laptop. He looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back and sat down next to him. The band and the girls came out of the studio after me, but continued out the door into the hallway, probably to find the restroom.
"How are you doing, Princess?" Dad asked me. He had a concerned look in his eyes, and I guessed he could tell how exhausted I was.
"I'm really tired," I said before I closed my eyes and laid my head on his shoulder. I forgot how comfortable this position could feel. I could stay here all day...
"Sarah," someone said, and I opened my eyes while lifting my head from Dad's shoulder. Had I fallen asleep?
"Sarah," I heard again. I caught the speaker this time, and my eyes settled on Sophie. She had a concerned look on her face. "Can we talk to you for a moment?"
Holly was standing next to her, sharing the same concerned look. I wasn't sure what they wanted to talk about, but I didn't think that it was going to be anything good. I sighed and stood up. Sophie and Holly stepped back outside the studio and continued down the hall, pulling me into the Women's Room. Once inside, I leaned against one of the sinks and waited for them to speak. Sophie began.
"We're concerned about your relationship with Don," she said. "I know you said you were close, but we think you might be too close, if you know what I mean." I grimaced. I had a feeling they were going to talk about this after catching me sleeping on Dad's shoulder.
"Yeah," Holly added. "Sarah, he's old enough to be your dad!"
I chuckled inwardly at her words, but I also felt apprehension. I knew that this was going to happen eventually. However, it had come a lot sooner than I thought it would. I had no choice but to tell them the truth now.
I inhaled slowly, took a deep breath, sighed, and then looked at them. It was obvious that they had my best interests at heart, and they were only doing what they thought was right based on what they knew.
"He is my dad," I told them.
I could see the confusion on their faces at my statement. They obviously hadn't considered the possibility that I was related to him.
"What?!" Sophie asked.
"Don is my dad," I told her again. "My real dad. Sarah Carerra is just a stage name."
"What?" she asked again. Her look of confusion had grown.
"You don't have to worry about my relationship with him," I said, trying to get it through to her in another way. "There isn't anything going on between us other than a normal father/daughter relationship."
"Don is your dad?" Sophie asked. At least she appeared to have absorbed some of the information that I had told them.
"Yes," I replied. The two of them continued to stare at me like they had just found out that I wasn't the person they thought I was. In a manner of speaking, they were right.
We stood in silence for a moment before Holly spoke up. "Then what's your real name?"
"Megan," I replied. "Megan Campbell."
"Megan..." Sophie said like she was thinking the name over. "I guess that fits, but why wouldn't you tell us before now?"
"The more people who know, the greater the chance that my secret will get out," I told them. "And if my secret gets out, then my regular life ends. I don't want to be in the spotlight all of the time. I very much like being able to turn off the attention."
They thought about that new information for a few seconds. I could tell that they felt slightly betrayed by me. We had grown really close, but they didn't really know me.
"Wait," Holly spoke up again. "Are you doing the Hannah Montana thing?"
I sighed again. I couldn't believe that I had let two more people in on the secret! These last two weeks had been nothing but trouble when it came to people finding out about me.
"Yes," I replied and then lifted the wig up until it reached the point where they could see the separation between it and my head. I wasn't going to unpin it here, though. "This is a wig."
"Wow!" Holly exclaimed, excitement creeping into her tone. "I never thought that something like that would ever really happen!"
"I must warn you that Don...that my dad, will want you to sign a non-disclosure agreement now," I told them. "He's extremely particular about not letting the secret out."
Before we could say anything else there was a knock on the door.
"Are you girls coming?" I heard one of the guys ask, but I couldn't tell which one because his voice was muffled. "Scott wants to start again."
"We'll be right there," I yelled at the door before turning back to the girls. "Look," I told them. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you guys. I didn't even get to tell Chloe, my best friend, for two weeks. I hope this doesn't change anything. I'm still the same person."
We stood there in silence for a bit longer. Eventually, Sophie nodded and Holly followed her lead.
"Still friends?" I asked, hoping the answer was yes.
"Of course," Sophie said. "But you're going to have to dish the whole story at some point.”
"I will," I promised them. "But we’d better get back to the studio before Scott comes in looking for us."
They smiled at my light-hearted joke. I hoped that this new knowledge wouldn't change our relationship. At least the two of them were in a good mood when we stepped outside to go back to work.
"I had to tell Sophie and Holly the truth," I told Dad while we were driving home later that evening.
"What?!" he asked, completely caught off-guard by my statement. "Why?"
"They were worried about my relationship with you," I told him truthfully. "They thought there might be more between us when they saw me resting my head on your shoulder. I didn't want them to think that."
I saw Dad grimace at the implied meaning behind my words. I knew that he didn't want to think about something like that just as much as I didn't want to think about it. He seemed to think something over for a few minutes before he spoke.
"Perhaps we should have told them sooner," he replied. "They have just as much at stake in keeping your secret. They have a right to know. We should probably tell the guys the truth tomorrow morning too."
I nodded. It would be easier if they knew. If nothing else, I could be more open with Dad when they were around if they knew the truth. But it still felt like everyone in the world was learning my secret now. It didn't seem like much of a secret when I considered how many people now knew the truth. I just hoped that every single one of them would be able to keep my secret safe. We’d have to make sure that the band would be able to call me by my proper name depending on who I was dressed up as, even though I didn’t expect to be Megan around them much. Knowing both personas and using the wrong name seemed like the easiest way for someone to slip up and let the secret out.
"Perhaps you shouldn't put the wig on in the morning," Dad suggested. "That might do the trick."
"That’s a good idea," I replied. Letting them meet Megan for real would be the best way to get them comfortable with my dual identity. But it would sure be weird to be working with them without the wig on. I guess I could always put it on later if needed.
We hadn't had time to work on any of the new songs that I had written. They weren't ready to be recorded, either. I needed the band's help to write down the instrument tracks that I wasn't familiar with. Because we wouldn't be recording, Scott did not want to give us the use of a studio, and the members of 'Pop Fly' were reluctant to have us over to the place where they did most of their practicing. Dad took the initiative and invited everyone over to our house. He thought that we could practice in Sarah's room if we moved the couch into the corner. I doubted the guys would have agreed as quickly as they did if they knew how feminine the room was, but it seemed to be a good solution until more permanent practice accommodations could be found.
"Do you want to go over the endorsements?" Dad changed the subject.
"No," I replied while shaking my head. "I really just want to go to bed early and sleep."
My dad looked over at me with concern for a moment before turning back to the road. "Are we throwing too much at you, Megan?" he asked. "This timetable isn't set in stone. We don't have to do everything this week. If we have to delay the release date of the album, we can. I don't want you to think that you have to tire yourself out, okay? The most important thing is for you to recover, and being exhausted isn't going to help you or anyone else."
"I don't know, Dad," I replied. "I definitely don't have the energy I had before the concert, but I think we can still do this. I just need a good night's sleep."
He looked over at me again. He knew that I wasn't telling him the truth. I was really worried about being able to keep up with the demands that they were putting on me this week. I thought that I had been ready for them, but the way I felt right now told me that wasn't the case.
"Tell you what," Dad interrupted my thoughts. "I'm going to push the filming of the music video off until next week. That will keep you working for only a few hours tomorrow and a few hours at the photo shoot on Wednesday. Then you'll have most of the rest of the week off. 'Wake Up!' would like you back on Friday, if you're up to it. That would be short and we can play anything else by ear. How does that sound?"
I smiled, and I could see relief flow through my dad's face. He knew that I wouldn't try to back out of Sarah's commitments, so he was doing it himself. I loved him for knowing how best to help me. I never could have suggested doing that myself.
"I'd like that, Dad," I told him. "I don't know about 'Wake Up!' though. I'm not sure I'm ready for that."
"I know, Princess," he replied. "But I think you should do it. I know that you are nervous and scared about appearing in public after last Saturday, but you have to do it sometime. Going back to 'Wake Up!' will give you a chance to get used to the public again in a friendly environment. Both Aubrey and Matt have stated that they will be respectful in any questions they ask. But it would be helpful to talk about it with them. The public needs to know you are okay, and you need to know that you will be okay in public too."
I sighed. I really, really didn't want to go back on that show. He was right about everything. I didn't want to be out in public, either. I knew I would have to eventually, but I wasn't sure I was ready. However, I knew that this was something that I had to do. Ready or not, I had to get back in front of a crowd if I was going to have a career in this industry.
"Okay," I told him. "I'll do it. But only if I get to sing 'You Can't Hurt Me' for them."
Dad nodded. He knew what that song meant to me. ‘You Can’t Hurt Me’ was the song that I had written after the press conference. I'd played it for him after finishing it, and he had been really proud of my ability to take the adversity from the press conference and turn it into such a powerful song.
"I think that will be acceptable," he said with a large smile on his face. "But you are going to perform it yourself. The band won't be there for you on this one. I want everyone to see that this is your song, and that it's coming from your heart. Having you perform it alone with your guitar will help everyone see just how much it means to you."
I couldn't help but smile back. That sounded like a perfect plan. I didn't doubt that the song would sound better with the band there, but I knew it was powerful even if I performed it solo.
"Okay," I agreed. "I'll do it."
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It was the presence of the band that was the real issue. The idea of not wearing the wig in front of them almost felt like I would be standing naked in front of them. It felt like I was being exposed more than I ever had before.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.10 - The Woman behind the Wig by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: October 4, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.10 - The Woman behind the Wig
After taking a shower the next morning, I returned to my own room to get ready. Just the idea of working on Sarah's music without being dressed up like her was odd. But we were the same person, and I knew that we had the same talents. After all, I'd written the songs without the wig.
But I think it was the presence of the band that was the real issue. The idea of not wearing the wig in front of them almost felt like I would be standing naked in front of them. It felt like I was being exposed more than I ever had before.
I put on a pair of jeans and a tee, pulled my hair back into a ponytail, put on my makeup, and stepped back out of my room. I was hoping that I had time for some breakfast before everyone arrived, but as I approached the door to Sarah's room I heard the guys inside setting up their instruments. I had to laugh at some of the things they were saying while they worked. They definitely did not appreciate the room's decor like I did. I was about to go in and see how they were doing when the doorbell rang.
Instead of stepping inside of Sarah's room, I walked down the hallway to the front room. Mom was coming out of the kitchen, and smiled when she saw me.
"I got it," I told her and she stepped back into the kitchen where it smelled like she was making a really good breakfast. I should have known that we would be feeding the band.
Sophie was standing on the doorstep when I opened the door, and she looked up at me in confusion for a moment before recognition swept across her face.
"Megan?" she asked. I smiled a quirky grin back at her.
"Hi, Sophie," I said and then stepped back and opened the door further. "Come on in."
She stepped inside, but she didn't stop looking at me the whole time.
"Not what you expected, huh?" I asked her. All she could do was nod for a moment.
"You look so different!" she finally said. "I mean, I never would have guessed that you were Sarah Carerra if you hadn't told me."
"I'm going to take that as a compliment," I told her. "I don't want to be recognized."
She nodded, but didn't know what else to say.
"Have you had anything to eat?" I asked her. She shook her head.
"Don said that breakfast would be provided," she said and it was my turn to nod.
"Mom's making it right now and it smells really good," I stepped over to the door to the kitchen, motioning for Sophie to follow me. Once we were inside, Mom looked up at us.
"Mom, this is Sophie," I told her. My mom broke out in a warm smile directed at Sophie.
"Hi, Sophie," she said. "I don't think we properly met at the concert. It's nice to finally meet you. Are you hungry?"
Sophie looked around at the many pots and pans that Mom had been using. She had gone all out; there were pancakes, waffles, sausage, bacon, eggs, and hash browns. If someone wanted it for breakfast, my mom had probably made it.
"Wow, Mom! That's a lot of food!" I stated.
"I wanted the band to feel at home this morning," Mom explained. "Perhaps they won't be so shocked to meet you if their stomachs are full."
I laughed at her silly joke, and Sophie smiled.
"It's almost ready," Mom continued. "If you want to go get the boys, we can get started. Your dad should be back in a moment. He went to get some more milk."
"Okay," I told her. "I'll go get them."
Stepping back out of the kitchen and into the hall, I looked back to see Sophie following me. I walked down to Sarah's door and pushed it open. Inside the couch had been moved to the side, leaving a large open area where the band was setting up a lot of equipment. The guys looked up at my entrance, but didn't smile until Sophie came in behind me. I stepped closer to where they were standing, and stuck my hand out for Jason to take. He was confused at the gesture.
"Hi, Jason," I said. "My name is Megan, and I'll be singing with you this morning."
He was totally confused, and both Connor and Stacy stared at me. Jason took my hand and gave it a shake, but he didn't seem to know what to say.
"Who are you?" he finally managed to get out after he had let go of my hand. I gave him a wide smile before turning and walking over to where the armoire was and punched in the access code.
"You mean you don't recognize me?" I asked after I heard the click that told me the armoire was now unlocked. I knew they didn't, it was written all over their faces. I pulled open the armoire and pulled out the wig they were so familiar with. "What if I put this on?"
"Sarah?" Connor finally asked before I'd had to resort to putting the wig on. I smiled warmly at him. At least one of them seemed to show some signs of recognition.
"Yeah, it's me," I said while placing the wig back on the foam head. "My dad and I felt that you guys deserve to know the truth about me. Sarah Carerra is my stage name. My real name is Megan."
"You and your dad?" Jason asked. I rolled my eyes. How much more dense could these guys be?
"I'm her dad," someone said from the doorway. We all turned to see Dad standing there, with a smile on his face. The guys remained confused for another moment, before a light started to shine in their eyes.
"Oh," Jason stated, surprised. "Sarah is your daughter?"
"Well, Megan is," Dad replied. "Sarah was created to give her the chance to have a life outside of the spotlight. She didn't want to be hassled every time she stepped out of the house."
The guys lapsed back into silence. It was obvious that they hadn't expected anything like this to happen. I almost felt bad about telling them the truth.
"Look," I said. "The more people who know about me, the more likely it is that the truth will reach the public. I don't want that to happen, and you guys have a lot at stake if that happens too."
"Wait," Connor spoke up, showing some initiative again. "What do you mean we have ‘a lot at stake’?"
Dad replied, "Your contracts with us are to perform with Sarah Carerra. If the truth gets out, and Megan can't perform any longer, you guys could be out of a job. We don't want that to happen."
"Okay," Jason said. He was nodding his head in agreement at not wanting to be out of a job. "What happens now?"
"Nothing," Dad said. "Sarah will always be there with you when you guys perform or practice. Today, we wanted you to meet Megan so that you could better get to know the person behind the music. We aren't trying to make you uncomfortable."
"This is totally the opposite," I added. "If you know who I really am, then I hope that we can be more comfortable with each other. You all are so good at what you do, and I just want to make the best of our relationship so that we can all benefit together."
We lapsed back into silence for a moment. I was hoping to get some type of response from the guys, but they appeared to be at a loss for words. Finally, Jason spoke up.
"Well, this is definitely a surprise, but we feel the same way, Sarah," he said. "We've done the studio gig, and now we've played on stage at a major concert. We like working with you. You're kind, considerate, and don't take all of the glory for yourself. Thank you for telling us."
I smiled brightly back at them. Connor and Stacy were nodding along with Jason's answer, and I knew that I hadn't lost them.
"Come on," Dad said. "Breakfast is ready, and I'm hungry."
The rest of us laughed, but we all agreed. Soon we were all around the dining room table eating a hearty breakfast.
Holly showed up a short time later, and we spent much of breakfast telling her about the events of the morning. My revelation had done the one thing that I had hoped it would do - it brought us closer together.
"Where do we start?" Jason asked once we were back in Sarah's room. The guys had ribbed me over the decor during breakfast, but they knew I was a girl and had laughed when I told them we could have been practicing at their place instead. But now it was time to get to work.
"Well, I thought I'd play you the songs first," I told them while walking over to retrieve my guitar. "Then we can pick one and start working on adding the other instruments to it. Once we get that done, we can put everything together. What do you think?"
I picked up my guitar case and turned back toward them.
"Sounds good," Jason said. "How many songs do you have?"
"Four," I replied. "I doubt we'll get everything done today, but anything that gets us closer to finishing the album helps."
I walked over to the couch and took a seat next to where Sophie and Holly were waiting. They wouldn't be needed for a while, but they didn't seem to mind being here.
"Do we get to hear 'Love?'," Holly asked with a quirky grin. I'd forgotten that they had been with me during my interview on 'Wake Up!' last week. They knew all about what that song represented.
Before I could respond, I felt myself blush. Without intending to, I'd let it slip on air that the song was about Josh Holliday. I didn't even want to get into that fiasco with the band. It was better to leave that alone and stick to the music.
"Sure," I told them a moment later. "We can start there."
I pulled my guitar out of its case and placed it on my knee. The last time I had played this song for somebody, it had been inadvertent. Madison had walked in on me while I was putting the finishing touches on it, and I had avoided playing it for my family. The less they knew about my love life, the better, especially after my interview on 'Wake Up!'.
This time, I started the song with a bit of trepidation. Madison had really liked the song, but it exposed a part of my heart that I wasn't sure I was ready to expose to the world.
The song started out really slow, with a calm, serene tone that gradually grew until it crashed over in a wave of adoration before calming down again to a close. I felt that I was blushing the whole time I sang.
When I finished four minutes later, I looked around the room. The girls had big smiles on their faces. The guys looked depressed at the thought of playing such a slow, meaningful song. But it was the other people who had crept into the room that really affected me. Mom and Dad were standing at the door, and the look on their faces made me realize just how much they meant to me. I could see the love in their eyes that was spoken about in the song, and immediately I felt tears rush to my own eyes.
I grabbed a tissue and quickly dabbed at them to prevent them from ruining any of my makeup.
"Girl, you are smitten," Holly said after seeing my reaction. I choked out a laugh. That was only part of what I was feeling, but I didn't want to get into the rest. I just smiled back at Mom and Dad.
"Whatever," I said to break the emotions that were lingering in the room. "Can we move on to the others?"
Most of the other people in the room nodded, and I strummed my guitar again, trying to decide which one to play next.
"I started writing this one after the concert," I told them. "That night, after we left the stage, I had the most wonderful feeling. I couldn't sleep. Everything in my life seemed to be so perfect, and I didn't want to let it go. This song doesn't do that feeling justice, but it comes about as close as I could get it. It's called 'My Life'."
I envisioned this song starting with the drums, and that wasn't something that I could duplicate with my guitar. That meant that I had to start the song further in. Even the main chord was designed for Jason's electric, and I could only capture part of the sound I wanted from the song out of my acoustic. But it worked.
This song was much more in the ballpark of what 'Pop Fly' was used to playing. It had a nice beat to it and a catchy melody. I hoped that when we added the drums and a bass guitar, I could get it to a point that it reminded me of the night after the concert, where Emily and I stared out the window of my hotel room together.
I played through this song with just as much emotion as I had with 'Love?'. While the emotions were different, both songs were infused with them, and I hoped that they would touch the heart of anyone who heard them as much as they touched my own.
When the song came to a close, everyone was smiling. I hoped that this song became one of the popular ones from the album, because it meant so much to me. Then again, they all did.
"Okay," I said before anyone else could speak. "Two more. This next one was written after I got home from the hospital with the help of Chloe and Madison." I smirked when I realized the band probably didn't recognize one of those names. "You guys met Madison at 'Wake Up!', right?"
There were nods from the band members indicating that they did remember my cousin, and they had of course met Chloe when I brought both her and Xander to the studio with me before the concert.
"It's called 'Friends Forever'," I told them.
I started playing the third song for them. This one was the fastest of the four I had written, and really had a positive flavor to it. It was all about friends and their connection to your own life. My friendship with Emily and Madison had such a positive effect on me, and I was happy that we could turn that into a song that encompassed much of what we had been through together.
This song wasn't roiled in the deep emotions that the other three were, and it was nice to have another fun, carefree song to share with the world. I couldn't wait to hear what Madison had to say about it when she heard the completed song for the first time.
"I like that one," Stacy said.
"Good," I told him. "Because I have some good ideas for your drums that should help make it even better."
He smiled back at me, and I turned my thoughts toward the last song that I had written. Of the four, this one meant the most to me. This song alone had more power and emotion than the other three songs combined. This song proved not only to the world, but also to me, that I could overcome the challenges that had been thrown at me since I had embarked on my career as Sarah Carerra. This song embodied the strength that I had been able to muster after the press conference just three days earlier.
So much had happened since then, and I couldn't imagine feeling the despair that I had felt at the studio again. I certainly didn't feel that way now. I was embarrassed to have the knowledge of what had happened to me last week talked about by the media. But that despair had been transformed into a strength that was encompassed in this song. It was a strength that had lifted my spirits, and had given me a reason to continue on.
Sure, Brady Townsend had taken me to the lowest point I could remember in my recent life. But he had also given me what I needed to overcome the pitfalls of my new career. The media was going to be watching me, and I was certain that this was only the first of many incidents that would upset me during my lifetime. But I now knew for sure that they couldn't hold me back.
"'You Can't Hurt Me'" I said. I didn't explain to them where this song had come from. They wouldn't need an explanation because the song said it all. I didn't mention the incident at all in the song, but there was no denying what this song was about.
I started playing the melody that opened the song, vocalizing another with my voice. There were no words to start this song, just emotions in the form of music. When I did start singing, the words came out with an edge to them. They were traced with the anger and frustration that I had felt after the press conference on Saturday. As the song continued, the anger was gradually replaced with confidence and strength. In the end, the message was clear, and the last "You Can't Hurt Me!" just before the final note told anyone who listened that no one can control how I feel or what I think. I'm stronger than they are.
As silence filled the room, I gazed once again at those friends and family around me. I hadn't played this song for anyone other than Dad before, but the faces of every person looking back at me had an awestruck quality to them. I knew at that moment that the song truly did get my message across.
Finally, Sophie spoke, “Megan, that is powerful. Really, REALLY powerful." The others merely nodded.
Hours later I was sitting on the loveseat in the front room, reading a book. Mom and Dad were sitting on the couch watching TV, and Austin had gone out with some friends.
Dad had stopped the band's practice around 3:00 to prevent me from exhausting myself again, and I'd taken the time afterward to take a nap. Now I was trying to read. Reading was something I really enjoyed doing, but I hadn't had much time to read since I'd made my first demo CD, and I was excited to get the chance.
However, I was having a hard time concentrating on the words on the page. There was something bothering me, and I couldn't figure out what it was.
"The band!" I gasped. Both Mom and Dad immediately looked at me, but I had finally figured it out. "Dad! The band needs to come with me on Friday!"
"I thought that we had agreed that you would perform by yourself," he said. He clearly wasn’t happy at my request.
"That was before we finished the song!" I exclaimed. "It took on a whole new level this afternoon when we performed it the last time!"
Dad pondered it, and then he nodded. I knew that he felt the same way. The band had decided that they wanted to work on 'You Can't Hurt Me' first, and it was the only song we were able to finish in the time allotted to us today.
It had been an amazing experience. I had ideas of what I wanted from each of the other instruments. Jason, Connor, and Stacy were able to take those ideas and implement them in a way that actually improved my original idea. Holly and Sophie also contributed, and now the song wasn't just mine, it was ours.
"I'll contact them tomorrow," Dad said. "I asked them to keep their schedules open that morning in case we needed them."
"Thanks, Dad," I told him. He nodded and turned back toward the TV, and I went back to my book. This time, I was able to thoroughly enjoy it.
Have you been to see Sarah Carerra perform?
While it will still be some time before Sarah Carerra takes the stage on her concert tour, I am looking for information about any of the venues that she will be performing at. If you've had a chance to go to one of the venues listed on the next page or at www.sarahcarerra.com, I invite you to email me a short description of your experiences to angeljedigirl (at) gmail.com
I'm looking for information on what you thought made the event so exciting. What did you enjoy most? If it was a fair, were there other attractions that were fun to see and experience?
I can only craft a story that is as good as my experiences, but I have not been to many of the places that Sarah will visit. There is a lot of information online to help write the story the way I want it, but your experience may make it memorable.
Thanks in advance,
Megan
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Dad looked back down at the folder before turning back to me. "Do you want to go over the endorsements?"
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.11 - It's Just a Job by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: October 11, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.11 - It's Just a Job
Around 7:00 PM there was a knock on our front door. I got up from where I had been reading on the couch and opened it to find Emily standing there.
"'Bout time," I said with a goofy smile. She smiled back at me. I stepped aside and she came in. I thought that Emily was going to visit earlier this morning to watch us practice, but she had not showed. Then I noticed the guilty look on her face, and I knew that she was up to something.
"I'm sorry," she tried to explain. "I had something that I needed to do today."
"That's okay," I told her. "Sarah dominates my life, but you are welcome in it anytime you want to come. I don't expect you to be there all the time."
I saw Emily sigh in relief, and I began to worry. Why had she been so concerned that she thought I wouldn't understand?
"What is it?" I asked. She immediately looked nervous again at my question. I didn't know what she was so worried about, but I became even more concerned.
"Don't be mad, okay?" she asked. That didn't make me feel any better about whatever she was hiding.
"Emily, what's wrong?" I asked.
"I got a job," she blurted out. For a second I didn't think that I had heard her correctly.
"A what?" I asked. A job?
"I got a job," she repeated. "My parents wanted me to get a summer job. I started today."
"And you didn't tell me before?" I asked. I was hurt that she felt she had to hide this from me.
"You didn't tell me about Sarah!" she argued back. I jolted at those words. I didn't know why her having a job seemed to be such a big deal! It's not like I thought any less of her or anything! I just thought that we were close enough that we shared everything!
"That was completely different," I yelled back. "I wanted to tell you! But you hid this from me because you didn't want me to know!"
She slumped over at my pronouncement. "It's just that..." she started. "I mean, you have this wonderful new life as your job. I work for slightly more than minimum wage at the music store in the mall. It doesn't quite compare."
I sighed. She WAS worried about what I thought. "Emily, I don't care where you work. I understand why you felt you should get a job. There's nothing wrong with working at the music store. I'm just sad that you felt you had to keep it a secret until now."
She sighed again, and we stood there in silence for a moment. "I'm sorry, Megan," she finally said. "It's just that I didn't want you to think that I was abandoning you or anything."
I choked out a short laugh at her logic. She wasn't abandoning me! She was doing what she needed to do for her own life. I immediately wrapped my arms around her.
"Emily!" I exclaimed. "You AREN’T abandoning me. We're sisters now, remember? We made that pact the night of the concert. And sisters don't have to spend every single moment with each other. So you got a job - big deal. I'm gone most days at my own job anyway. No, you aren't abandoning me, you're abandoning Ethan."
She tensed up in my arms, but when she stepped back in surprise at my words, she finally saw the lopsided grin on my face. Then she broke out in laughter. I joined in easily. We moved over to the couch and sat down.
"Tell me all about it," I said. She rolled her eyes at me.
"Thanks for being nice," she replied. "But you seriously don't want to hear about my day, do you?"
"Why not?" I asked. "This is an important day in your life. Your first job! How was it?"
She smiled, which surprised me. I didn't think that she would have enjoyed her first day of work, but she was surprising me.
"It was actually pretty fun," she said. "I think that going with you to Sarah's stuff really opened my eyes to the music industry. I found it fun to be surrounded by people who were looking for a certain song, and helping them to locate it. I thought I was going to hate it, and it isn't necessarily the best job in the world, but it could be worse. I certainly won't mind going back all summer."
"Good," I said, returning her smile with one of my own. It was nice to see her happy.
"So how was your work day?" she asked. I smiled. I was pretty sure that my work was a lot more fun than her work was.
"It was pretty good," I told her. "I played them all of my new songs, and we ended up working on 'You Can't Hurt Me'--"
"Megan," my dad interrupted us from the hallway. I looked over toward where he was standing. He was looking down at a folder. When he looked up at me, he looked surprised to see I had company. "Oh, hi, Emily."
"Hi, Mr. Campbell," she replied.
Dad looked back down at the folder before turning back to me. "Do you want to go over the endorsements?"
"Sure," I replied. Emily might have missed most of the day, but this was something that she probably would like to be a part of.
"What endorsements?" Emily asked. I grinned at her.
"Dad has a big list of people who want to have Sarah endorse their products," I explained. I took the folder from my dad and placed it on the table in front of the couch. Emily leaned in closer. I could tell she had already been hooked. "Let's see what we've got."
There were all kinds of products waiting for my approval. Makeup, clothes, and skin care companies seemed to make up the majority of the requests, but there were also plenty from drink companies, food companies, a few cell phone companies, even a car company had submitted a request.
"Ooh!" Emily said when we turned the page to another makeup company. "You gotta do this one! They have amazing lip gloss."
I looked at the page. Starlight Cosmetics was the name of the company. The name did sound somewhat familiar, but I couldn't be sure I'd ever heard of them.
"I don't know," I replied. "I'd want to talk to Stephanie about any makeup endorsements. She's the one who would have to use the products on me. We'd probably want to ask Julia about any clothes."
"Give Stephanie a call," my dad suggested. "There are plenty of makeup endorsements here. I bet there's one here from whatever she's been using on you."
"Okay," I replied. She had given me a bunch of makeup to use myself, but I didn't think that they were all from one company. I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled through my contacts until I found Stephanie's name. The phone rang twice before she answered.
"Hello?" Stephanie answered the call.
"Hi, Stephanie, it's Sarah," I said.
"Hi, Sarah," she replied. "How are you doing?"
"I'm doing well," I said. Then I remembered that the last time I had seen her was when I left the studio in tears a few days ago. "Much better than Saturday," I added.
"That's good to hear," she said, and I could almost hear the smile in her voice. I knew she had been worried about me after that reaction. "What can I do for you?"
"I'm looking through some endorsement requests with my dad," I told her. "There are a lot of makeup requests, and Emily thinks that I should take one. But I didn't want to do anything without talking to you first."
"Oh!" she said in surprise. I immediately understood that she wasn’t usually consulted before someone took an endorsement deal.
"Well, there are a lot of good brands available these days," she continued. "I've been using one called Starlight for most of what I've used on you. They have a young, teen look to them that really complements your skin."
"Really?" I asked excitedly. "Because that's the one I'm holding in my hand right now!"
She laughed. I laughed. Dad and Emily even laughed, even though they had no idea what we were talking about.
"Yes," she said. "If you've got an endorsement from them, I'd accept it. We're already using many of their products. It would only make sense."
"Okay," I replied. "We're just going over our options, but I'll definitely keep that in mind."
"Alright, Sarah," she said. "And thank you for consulting me. Most people just tell me what they want me to use on them. It's nice to get a say for once."
This time I laughed. Stephanie was a master when it came to makeup. I wouldn't dream of telling her what to do. I might give her an idea of what type of look that I wanted, but I'd always trusted her ideas.
"You're welcome," I told her. "I'll see you in the morning, right?"
"Of course," she said. "You've got me for the whole photo shoot. We'll make sure that you look fabulous, and I'll bring lots of Starlight with me."
I chuckled. "Alright, Stephanie. I'll see you then."
"Bye, Sarah," she said, and I could hear the chuckle returned in her voice.
"Bye, Stephanie," I replied before hanging up the phone.
"What did she say?" Emily asked immediately. I knew she wanted me to take the Starlight contract.
"Starlight it is," I replied. "That's what she's been using on me, so it makes total sense."
"Good," Dad interjected before Emily could say something else. "That makes one. I'd like to start with three for now, and we can branch out when you have some more time. Sound good?"
"Yeah," I replied and smiled back at him. I didn't know exactly what my schedule was supposed to be like this summer, but I had a pretty good feeling that I was going to be busy all the way until the time school started again.
We returned to going through the endorsements. I couldn't believe some of the things that people wanted Sarah to endorse! For example, why on earth would Sarah care about what type of fertilizer was used on her lawn? I had absolutely no idea what we used at our house, and I really couldn't care less.
"What's this thing?" Emily asked a while later. I looked over to where she was staring at one of the papers. There was a picture of something that looked vaguely like a cross between a phone and an iPod.
"The Jive?" I asked, reading the name off the paper.
"Oh!" Dad responded excitedly. "That would be a good one." He reached his hand out, and Emily passed him the paper.
"What is it?" I asked him.
"It's an MP3 player," he replied. "It's from a new technology company that is hoping to compete with the iPod. It actually looks like it might have a chance. It'll be an uphill struggle, though. But this thing is really cool. One of their advertising guys came by the office the other day with one."
"Do you think it's worth having Sarah endorse it?" I asked him. He seemed really excited about this endorsement, which made me think that it would probably be a good one to go after.
"Yes," he replied. "It fits well with your music, and if I remember right..." He looked back down at the paper. "Yes, they want an appearance from you at the unveiling in August in New York. That's the same weekend that you are performing there, so it would work out really well."
"Wait," I replied, sidetracked by his knowledge of my tour dates. "Do you know where I'm going to be performing already?"
"Some," he replied. "Scott is setting up a concert here at the end of July, and I've been working on setting one up in New York. You'll have more concerts before school starts, but we aren't quite sure where yet."
I'd always wanted to go to New York! I hoped that I would have a chance to see some of the sights while we were there.
"What else do I have going?" I asked him. Dad had tried to keep me in the loop, but I got the impression that there were events set up that I didn't even know about yet.
"Nothing you aren't already aware of," he said. "I wanted to set up a small concert and CD signing somewhere on the day your album is released, but I haven't been able to find a good place yet. It may be too late by now anyway."
"You might be able to do it at the mall," Emily said. "I'm sure that my boss would love to have you signing CDs at the store. And the mall is always doing stuff like that."
"Hmm," Dad said. "That doesn't sound like a bad idea. But where do you work? I didn't know that you had a job."
"She started today," I offered before allowing Emily to continue.
"I work at 'The Treble with Music' in the mall," she said.
"Alright," Dad said. "If you think that your boss would be up for it, I'll give him a call tomorrow. The sooner we get working on this, the better."
I smiled. I'd been going to that store for years. It would be a fitting place to have my first CD signing!
"Anyway," Dad turned us back toward what we had been doing. "Do you want me to look into the Jive?"
"Yes," I replied. I couldn't imagine using something other than my iPod, but I couldn't say no when he was that excited about it. “But I’d like to see it first. Is that possible?”
“I’m sure they’d be willing to let you use one before you agree to be their spokesperson,” Dad replied. “Let me give them a call and see what we can set up.”
“Sounds good,” I replied. I was interested in seeing if it was better than my iPod.
"That just leaves one more," he continued. "You've selected two that wanted commercials. I think we should only look at the ones that want print ads for the third. You've already got so much going this summer."
"Okay," Emily and I replied before turning back to the folder.
It took us another two hours to narrow down the endorsement opportunities to one that we were happy with. None of the others stood out as ‘must haves’, or at least none of the ones that fit Dad's description of being print-only. There were a few that I would have liked to take if it hadn't been for their desire to have me appear somewhere for them or have a commercial made. But in the end, I think it all worked out.
We ended up selecting a perfume called 'Stardom' to endorse for the print ads. Emily loved how two out of three of my endorsements had the word ‘star’ in their names. I was just happy to have the chance to endorse anything.
The 'Stardom' endorsement deal was contingent on how the perfume actually smelled. They hadn't provided us with a sample, so we didn't have anything other than the name to base our decision off of. Dad said that he would set up a meeting where we could see what it smelled like and come to a formal agreement if we liked it. If we didn't, there were plenty of other things that I could endorse.
By the time that Emily returned home and I had gotten ready for bed that night, I was excited to take the next step in Sarah's life. I knew that I had to get back out there in front of the public. I was still nervous about it, but I was also starting to feel something else that I hadn't felt since waking up in the hospital.
It was a longing; a craving for something that I knew all too well. I wanted to feel the rush again. I wanted to get up on a stage and sing until I was overwhelmed by the wonderful feelings that it brought to me. I couldn't wait for that chance!
But sadly, it would have to wait for a few more days. I would feel that rush Friday morning when I once again appeared on 'Wake Up!' to sing. But until then, I still had work to do. I was really interested to see what was in store for me at the photo shoot tomorrow.
Have you been to see Sarah Carerra perform?
While it will still be some time before Sarah Carerra takes the stage on her concert tour, I am looking for information about any of the venues that she will be performing at. If you've had a chance to go to one of the venues listed on the next page or at www.sarahcarerra.com, I invite you to private message me or email me at angeljedigirl (at) gmail.com a short description of your experiences.
I'm looking for information on what you thought made the event so exciting. What did you enjoy most? If it was a fair, were there other attractions that were fun to see and experience?
I can only craft a story that is as good as my experiences, but I have not been to many of the places that Sarah will visit. There is a lot of information online to help write the story the way I want it, but your experience may make it memorable.
Thanks in advance,
Megan
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As I stepped out of the car, I started to feel nervous. It looked like there was an area cordoned off for the shoot, but there were still many people milling about preparing for a day at the beach. I hadn't really been seen in public since the press conference, and this photo shoot might give me more exposure than I was ready for.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.12 - Album Art by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: October 18, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.12 - Album Art
I awoke the next morning excited to step into Sarah's shoes once again. I knew that Scott and Dad had hired a creative director to help us find the right image for the album, and I couldn't wait to find out what ideas he had.
I got up and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. Once I was undressed, I stepped in front of the mirror.
I was still amazed at how great I looked. Not only did I look beautiful, but I completely looked like a girl now! There was still some bruising around the surgical site, and it was a little tender when I used the restroom, but there was no denying what I was now.
Without a doubt, I was a girl. I don’t think there was a single person in the world who would look at me and think otherwise. The surgeon had done a masterful job, and I had absolutely no regrets about going through with the surgery. I was finally complete. I was finally the person I was meant to be.
Once I was done with my shower I headed for Sarah’s room to get dressed and put on my makeup. Then I pinned my wig in place and went to eat some breakfast. While I ate my cereal, I wished that I had someone to go to the photo shoot with me. Sure, Dad would be there, but that wasn't the same. Emily was working again, and Ethan was still at that stupid summer camp that he had run off to. I hoped that he was okay. I knew that he had gone there to figure out what was going on between us. That was something that I hadn't had the time, or the desire, to figure out myself.
I didn't know what my kiss had meant. I certainly didn't feel like I was ready to run off and marry him. But something was certainly different between us. That was inevitable; we had been normal teenage best friends, until one day we were told that anatomically I was a girl. Sure, it wasn't something I would have been able to avoid, but it was still a huge surprise to both of us.
Now we had to deal with all of that. But I had made it even worse by kissing him. I didn't know what that kiss meant. I thought that my heart belonged to Josh right now, but there was more to the kiss I had given Ethan than just a friendly kiss on the cheek. Did I have feelings for him or was it something more like sisterly love?
A knock on our front door kept me from pondering the answer to that question. I wasn't sure who was there, but I knew that answering it would be a bad idea while I was dressed as Sarah. Fortunately, Dad came out of his office and answered it for me. It turned out that I didn't have anything to worry about.
"Morning, Sarah," Julia said brightly when she entered the kitchen. I hadn't seen Julia for a while, and I smiled at her while putting my spoon down. Then I stood up and gave her a hug. I did the same thing for Stephanie who had followed her into the room.
"Morning," I finally replied. "What are you two doing here this morning? I thought we would be meeting up at the shoot."
"We'll be there," Julia replied. "But we have some exciting things to try this morning. Are you done eating?"
I looked back at my cereal bowl. It was nearly empty.
"Yeah," I replied. "Just let me clean up quickly."
They smiled and watched as I took the bowl over to the sink and washed it out before placing it in the dishwasher. Then I led them down the hall to Sarah's room.
"First of all, take off that wig," Julia said. "It's time to show the world a different look. You're a young woman now, and we want to show the world that you can handle the pressure that is being thrown at you, especially after last Saturday. Okay?"
"Okay," I replied and started unpinning the wig. I was really curious about what she had planned. It definitely wasn't what I had been expecting this morning. Once I had the wig off, I opened the armoire and placed it back on its foam head before stepping back and letting Julia have a look inside.
She started perusing the contents, looking at each wig that we had purchased to find the right one to fit her desired image. Eventually, she pulled one out and handed it to me.
"Put this on," she said. I took the wig from her and placed it on my head before turning back to where I had put the pins. Once the new wig was pinned in place, I stepped over to the mirror.
I looked totally different. The wig that Julia had selected was the same color as the one that I had been wearing up to this point. But instead of the soft curls and waves that had flowed down my back, I now had long, straight hair. I looked fantastic!
I turned back to Julia to allow her to see what I looked like. She smiled at my image. "That's the one," she said. "Now sit down and let Stephanie do her thing."
I sat down on the seat in front of my vanity, and let Stephanie get to work. She didn't tell me what she was doing, but I watched mesmerized as she did my makeup subtlety different than what she had been doing. It didn't take much, but I looked slightly older than I had the last time she had done my makeup.
When the two of them were done with me, I looked gorgeous! I couldn't believe what a different hairstyle and makeup could do!
"Perfect," Julia declared. "You still look young, but you look more mature now. Come on, let's show your dad."
I stood up and followed Julia out of Sarah's room. I knew Dad was in his office, but we were intercepted by Austin in the hallway before we got there.
"Whoa!" he said when he saw me.
"Morning, Austin," I told him. "Do you like my new look?"
Austin gave me a look that I never thought that I would see from him. He was checking me out! He was my brother, for crying out loud! I frowned, and he noticed immediately.
"I'm sorry, Megan," he said. I think he unconsciously used my real name to separate the thoughts that he'd been having from his sister. I guess everybody does love Sarah Carerra. "It's just...you're so pretty!"
That turned my frown upside down. I smiled back at him, happy that he wasn't looking at me the way he had been anymore. I knew I was attractive, and this new wig and makeup only emphasized those features, but it still felt weird to have guys staring at me, especially when it was my brother.
Dad stepped out of his office and into the hallway at that point, and he gave me a completely different look. He grimaced. I instantly laughed at his reaction. I knew that he saw how much more attractive I was now, and I knew that he was thinking he would have to protect me that much more.
"You've outdone yourself again, Julia," Dad said, but he never took his eyes off me. "Sarah, you look fantastic! Your fans are going to eat this new look up."
"Thanks, Dad," I replied, and I could feel myself blushing again.
"Shall we head out?" he asked next. I was ready if Julia and Stephanie were done with my makeover. They were both nodding, so I did too.
It took us about an hour to get to our destination. When we pulled up to a beach, I was worried about what they were going to try to get me to wear. I definitely didn't want to pose in a bikini for my album cover.
As I stepped out of the car, I started to feel nervous. It looked like there was an area cordoned off for the shoot, but there were still many people milling about preparing for a day at the beach. I hadn't really been seen in public since the press conference, and this photo shoot might give me more exposure than I was ready for.
"It'll be okay, Sarah," Dad said from beside me as we walked. I smiled up at him. I truly was glad that he was my agent. Having a friendly face at all of my engagements was a blessing.
"I know," I replied. "But that doesn't mean I'm not going to be nervous about it."
He chuckled at my reply, and we continued to walk the few steps toward the cordoned off area at the end of the parking lot. I noticed that they even had a police car parked nearby. Was I that important that we had the police at my photo shoot?
I saw a number of people watching us as we walked, and I began to worry that someone would recognize me. My only hope that I could make it to safety without anyone approaching me was the fact that I had a different hairstyle. But alas, it wasn't enough.
"Sarah Carerra!" I heard someone scream, and I turned to look. There was a young girl pointing at me from the sand. A number of other girls nearby also turned to look at me. I put a smile on my face and waved at them, causing the girls to squeal and look around for their parents. By the time that it took them to find their parents, Dad and I had stepped inside the cordoned off area. I sighed in relief.
Dad pointed to a group of people, and then steered me toward them. I noticed that Max was among them. Max was my marketing agent with the record company, and I knew that he would be involved in all of the art decisions surrounding my album.
"Sarah!" Max greeted me as we approached. We shook hands, and then he turned toward the group to start the introductions.
"Sarah, this is Jay Eon, your creative director for today," he said while pointing toward a short man who looked very athletic. I wouldn't be surprised if he ran marathons when he wasn't directing photo shoots.
"Pleased to meet you," I told Jay and took his outstretched hand.
"The pleasure is mine, Ms. Carerra," he replied.
Max then turned toward the other guy who had been standing nearby. I smiled immediately at him. "Sarah, I believe you've met your photographer already?"
"Yes," I replied. "It's nice to meet you again, Mr. Gunthrie."
"Please," he said with a wide grin. "Call me Greg. It will be my honor to photograph you this morning, Sarah."
Greg Gunthrie had been the photographer on my second photo shoot, the shoot where we had made the posters and other marketing material to start my career. The shoot had started out terribly, with Greg yelling at everyone to get everything done. But after a while, he realized that he could get more out of me by being nice, and had shown that his mean side was just an act. He really had turned out to be a good guy, and a great photographer.
"Now that everyone has met," Max stated. "Let's get you off to wardrobe. We've got two locations that we are going to be shooting at today, so we need to get moving."
"Okay," I replied. I could see Julia waving at me from a large tent. I gave the guys that I had been talking to a smile and then walked over to Julia.
"Jay wants us to try two different concepts today," Julia said once she had me inside the tent. There were all kinds of clothes hanging around. I smirked at the thought of someone dragging all of these clothes up here for me. "He wants us to try a glam shot, and then we'll be doing some simple shots at the other location. I'm not sure that I like the idea of no glam for your album cover, but he thinks that you'll be able to provide the glam yourself. Either way, start with that outfit." She pointed to a small rack that had some clothes hanging from it and some shoes on the ground beside it. "I'll be outside when you are dressed."
"Okay," I said and stepped over to the clothes. Julia stepped outside the tent and pulled on a string that had been holding up a strip of vinyl that acted as a door, causing it to fall over the opening and give me some privacy.
The outfit she had selected consisted of a white skirt that looked like it would be nearly see through, a pink tank top that had a number of sequins that made it shimmer much like the one I had worn at my first concert, a wide silver belt that looked like it was studded with diamonds all the way around, and a single, simple bracelet that contained a small ring of diamonds around the entire circumference. I assumed that all of the gems were fakes, but I knew I had to be careful in case they weren't.
I undressed and quickly donned the items that Julia had picked out for me. Once I had everything on, I turned to the sandals that had also been left nearby. They were simple, white with a pink strap that tied around my ankle, and thankfully without a heel. I certainly didn't want to be walking around the beach in heels, so I was grateful for that.
There was a full-length mirror in the tent, and I stepped over to it to get a look at myself. Once again Julia had done a fantastic job in clothing me. I thought I looked a little younger in the outfit than I had after my makeover this morning, but not by much. The skirt was flimsy, but it wasn't see-through at all. It had enough layers to make it light and airy, causing it to flow around me as I walked. The rest of the outfit complemented the skirt perfectly.
I stepped back outside to get her approval.
"Turn around for me," she said and twirled her fingers in a circle. I complied and slowly turned to let her see everything. "No, that isn't quite right. Come back inside."
I followed her back in, and she asked me take off the tank top and sandals and replace them with similar items in yellow.
"Okay, that looks good," she finally said. "Stephanie will touch up your makeup and then you’re free to start shooting."
"Thanks, Julia," I told her. "You have a great eye for fashion. I know that I wouldn’t be able to pick something like this out."
She laughed, before smiling at me. "You're doing pretty well yourself, Sarah. Don't sell yourself short. You've certainly come far from that tomboy I met the first day."
I smiled back at her quip. I enjoyed these clothes far more than I did my old boys clothes that she was referring to.
Once Stephanie had retouched my makeup, not making any changes to what she had done that morning, I walked back over to where Dad was still talking to Max and the other guys.
"All set?" Jay asked. I nodded. "Good, we're going to start down on the beach. We have a small area set aside where we can get some good shots with the beach, the ocean, and a small rock outcropping. Follow me."
He started walking down a small path that led from the parking lot a short way into the sand. There the cordoned area ended, but I saw a taped off area further down the beach with some camera equipment and lights set up. Unfortunately, there were also a number of families gathered in the area in between.
"Walk all the way to the area we have roped off," Max said to me when it became apparent that there were fans waiting for me on the beach. "Then you can have a few minutes with your fans before we start taking photos. But be careful, because we don't want to have to retouch your makeup or anything. Smile, sign a few autographs, shake a few hands, and then we'll get to work."
"Okay," I replied.
It didn't take us long to get into the crowd, and it wasn't much longer after that before some of the girls I had seen earlier had gathered the courage to walk beside me as I continued my trek to the photo area. I smiled at them, and they squealed again, but kept walking beside me.
"Hi," I said to them, causing another squeal from the girls. They didn't look like they could be any older than Anna, who was 10. Finally, after some of them had calmed down, I got some shy "Hi's" back. They looked like they were having a lot of fun walking next to me, so I let them follow us all the way to the photo area. By the time we had arrived, we had picked up two more girls. I turned and looked back at everyone who was following behind me. It looked like most of the girls' mothers or fathers were following, watching them. There were even a few older boys and girls who were interested in following me, but either they were embarrassed or they didn't have the courage to walk next to me.
"Who wants a picture?" I asked the girls who had been walking beside me. All of them started raising their hands and trying to get my attention. I chuckled at their reactions, but got them gathered around me so that we could all get in the shot. I watched many parents scramble to get their cameras out while we got into position. A few of the other girls who had been following even scrambled to find a place in the shot. Eventually, there were eight girls surrounding me when their parents started snapping pictures.
After they were done, I made sure to shake each girl’s hand and asked each her name. I couldn't remember any of their names after we were done, but they all had smiles on their faces when I ducked under the tape to begin my work for the day.
"Alright everyone," I heard Max say behind me. "We have a lot of work to do today. Please leave the area."
"No," I said loudly to the gathered crowd. Max turned toward me with a shocked and unhappy look on his face. "They can stay, as long as they don’t interfere" I said calmly, gaining another glare from him. "I mean, we're doing still shots. I don't mind if they watch."
"You heard her," Max told the assembled crowd, but he raised his hands in a gesture of defeat that seemed to say, "What am I going to do?"
I turned back to where Greg and Jay were adjusting the settings on their equipment. After a moment, Jay turned toward me.
"Okay, Sarah," he said. "We're looking for glamour shots on the beach. Do you know what I mean?"
"Yes," I replied. I'd been reading plenty of women's magazines with Emily over the years. I knew what he was looking for.
"Alright," he continued. "Remember, the title of the album is 'Intuition'. We're trying to capture that in a photo."
We then started taking pictures. Greg and Jay were very good at telling me what they wanted from me. Then I would try to take their direction as best as I could and incorporate it into my poses. They had me do everything from some sultry shots (that I hoped weren't too sexy) to some shots that they called 'ponderous'.
We started out against a small rock face. I'd often lean back against the rocks or try to use them in some way in the picture. We then moved down into the sand where they could get the ocean behind me. Those shots were trickier, because I didn't have anything around me to work with. But I tried to give the two guys what they wanted, and they seemed to be satisfied with my work.
During the whole shoot we had a group of people watching us from outside of where the tape was located. Soon a small crowd formed that I was sure everyone who arrived at the beach was curious about. By the time we moved the shoot down to the edge of the water, I couldn't even see the tent where I had changed clothes because of the size of the crowd.
We spent another 45 minutes taking pictures in and near the water before Jay felt that he had enough from this location. The whole shoot had taken nearly two and a half hours, and I was ready to take a break. I wasn't looking forward to doing the same thing again at another location.
I also wasn't ready for the walk back to the changing tent. There was a big crowd between the tent and me, and I knew that I was going to have to do a lot of interacting with them. That was why I was relieved to see a policeman standing next to where I had entered the taped off area. I'd at least have some protection on the way back up the beach.
"Sarah!" I heard yelled from many mouths as I approached the policeman. He looked to be in his early thirties, and he was made from a lot of muscle. I smiled at him before turning toward the crowd.
"Hi, everybody," I said with a small wave. A number of hands shot out, some holding papers, others seeking a handshake or some other touch. I stepped up to the tape and shook some of the hands before taking a few of the papers and signing my name with a pen that Dad had kindly provided me with moments later. That satisfied many people, but I knew there were a lot more behind them who would want the same.
"Are you ready?" the policeman asked me. I noticed that his name tag read Taggart. I nodded at him, and he ducked under the tape before straightening up and lifting it for me to get under. Then, he started making a path through the crowd. I followed right behind him, trying to shake as many hands as I could and give as many ‘high fives’ while walking at a slow pace back to the cordoned area in the parking lot.
I was very grateful when we arrived, and quickly ducked under the tape to get out of the crowd. Immediately, I heard someone start to cry, and the tiny feminine wail made my heart ache. I turned back around, searching for the source of the anguish, and I saw a young girl of about six years of age hugging her dad's leg and staring at where I had just crossed the line. I hadn't seen her during the walkover, and I was pretty sure that she hadn't had the chance to meet me.
I stepped back toward the tape and smiled at her dad, who took a step forward, lifting her with his foot toward me.
"Hi, sweety," I said, watching her tears start to dry up as she got closer to me. "What's your name?"
"Erin," she said through the sobs she was still trying to get under control. I smiled at her.
"That's a pretty name, Erin," I said and held my arms out. Immediately, she ran forward and under the tape and I wrapped them around her in a hug. When I let her go, she looked up at me with the brightest smile on her face. I turned back to her father who had a camera out now. With a grin I positioned Erin next to me and let him take a picture.
"Thank you," Erin said in a soft, quiet voice. I smiled at her.
"You're welcome, Erin," I replied. "Follow your dreams, okay?"
"Okay," she said and then ran back to her father. I stood up from where I had knelt to give her dad a better shot, and waved to the crowd before turning and heading for the tent.
I needed a nap.
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"Oh heaven above, I think that was it!" Jay said loudly. "Sarah, that was brilliant! Do it again."
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.13 - The Perfect Shot by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: October 25, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.13 - The Perfect Shot
We apparently didn't have any facilities at the other photo shoot location, so after a short break, Julia had me change into the other outfit they wanted to shoot with before we left the tent again.
She wasn't joking about ‘simple’ either. My second outfit consisted of a pair of jeans, a pair of simple shoes, and a nice but simple blue button-up top with capped sleeves. Even with such a simple outfit, it still seemed to look spectacular on Sarah.
When I stepped back outside of the tent to get Julia's approval, I was surprised by the number of cameras that started clicking from the nearby crowd. I had hoped that they had dissipated while I was in the tent, but apparently I was naive.
"That looks good," Julia approved before turning me over to Stephanie again.
Once she was done, Dad steered me toward the car. I was really glad that we had parked right next the cordoned area, and I was quickly in his car with nothing but a small wave to the crowd. Not long after that we were out of the parking lot and driving to the other photo destination.
"How are you doing?" my dad asked me while he drove. I opened my eyes, and looked over at him.
"I'm tired," I told him truthfully. I was too. I had already realized that I didn't have the stamina that I'd had before the surgery. All of the walking, posing, and stress of the photo shoot was already taking its toll on me.
"I know, Princess," he said. "It's going to be rough for a bit until you get your energy back. I'll do what I can to give you the time you need to recover. As I understand it, this next destination won't be as intense as the beach. Plus, there won't be any people around to worry about."
"Thank goodness," I sighed. I loved my fans, and I was willing to do a lot for them. But they certainly had worn me out quickly. I just hoped that I hadn't left too many disappointed people back at the beach.
Fifteen minutes later Dad pulled up to a gate where a security guard was waiting. He stepped up to the driver's window when my dad came to a stop. Dad showed him some kind of pass, and he stepped back to a booth and opened the gate. I was curious where we were as the car started moving forward again. Shortly after, we were following another car toward the end of what appeared to be a runway. I didn't see any planes around, but this airport appeared to be in good condition.
Dad stopped the car, and I got out finding Jay, Greg, and Max waiting for me.
"There she is," Jay said with a smile and motioned me over to the group. "This won't be quite as intense, Sarah. We just want to take a few shots of you on the runway with the ocean as a backdrop. I think that this will look spectacular, and I hope we can get a good shot from this group to use on your album."
I nodded my understanding. He then stepped over to what I assumed was his car and opened the trunk. He pulled out a black electric guitar. I grimaced slightly. I wasn't opposed to posing with a guitar, but I wished it could have been mine. If it was not mine, then it would have been better if it was an acoustic guitar. I didn't have much experience playing an electric guitar.
But he was the creative director, and I took the guitar from him before following Greg out to where they wanted me to stand.
The scene from the beach was repeated: Greg and Jay worked together to get me into a desired pose, and I did my best to comply. We tried having me hold the guitar like I was playing it, posing with it on the ground, lifting it into what I thought were weird ways, and even some without it in the shots.
Jay seemed to like what we were doing, but he didn't quite have the enthusiasm that he'd had at the beach. He seemed frustrated for some reason. Eventually, he decided to try something else.
"Alright, Sarah," he said. "Here's what I want you to do. Stand with your feet apart, and place that guitar between them, holding it in front of you." I complied with his instructions. "Good, now I want you to move around a bit. Get your hair flowing. I want to see some of those trademarked blond locks flying around."
"Okay," I said and tried to do what he wanted. He became more excited and we continued in that vein for a bit. Then, I tried to get a few shots where my hair would fall in front of my face.
"Ooh," Jay exclaimed and continued to watch his monitor as shot after shot showed up. I turned my head to the side again and let my hair fall in front of my face.
"Oh heaven above, I think that was it!" Jay said loudly. "Sarah, that was brilliant! Do it again."
We kept working in that vein for a while longer before he decided that we'd had enough.
"Good job, Sarah," he said, coming over to shake my hand. "Greg said that you were easy to work with, and that was one of the easiest photo shoots I've been on. Thank you."
"You're welcome," I told him. "The two of you were really easy to work with too. You knew what you wanted, and I'm just glad that I was able to give it to you."
Jay chuckled at my words, and I noticed Greg was doing the same. I smiled along with them.
"I really like how these last ones turned out," Jay continued. "We'll get them back to the studio and see what we have and then get you in to take a look at them toward the end of the week, okay?"
"Sounds good," I said, happy to have this day over with. I felt like I could sleep until Friday now.
Dad and I walked back to the car. My original clothes were already in the back seat, and I was glad that I didn't have to go back to the beach to change. We could go straight home.
It was only five minutes after Dad had left the airport that I had fallen asleep in the passenger seat.
The opening of a car door awakened me some time later. I glanced around, trying to get my bearings, and noticed that we were in the garage at home. Dad was looking at me from his seat.
"I'm sorry, Princess," he said. "I didn't realize that you were that tired. Come on inside and sleep in your own bed. You should be able to get plenty of rest the next few days."
"Okay," I replied and swung my legs out of the car. I was still exhausted. Sleep still sounded like the best plan for the rest of the day.
I followed Dad inside, but my mom stopped me long before I made it to Sarah's room to get undressed. She had been in the front room, but came into the kitchen to meet us when she heard the garage door.
"Hi, honey," she smiled a large smile. "You look beautiful. I really like that wig."
"Thanks," I replied while tiredly returning her smile. She hadn't had a chance to see what Julia and Stephanie had done to me before we left this morning, and I was glad that she approved.
"She's exhausted," Dad told my mom, and I watched the smile on Mom's face change into a look of concern.
"Are you okay?" The worry in her voice was undeniable. I nodded back to her.
"Yeah, I'm just really tired." I sighed. "I don't quite have the energy I had before the concert."
"Don, don't work her too hard," Mom sternly said to Dad. I chuckled inwardly because Dad was doing his best to give me the time I needed to recover. He'd already pushed off the music video that we were originally supposed to start filming tomorrow. I couldn't imagine doing that for three days. I felt exhausted after just one day doing only a photo shoot.
"He's not, Mom," I defended my dad. Mom looked at me for a few seconds before she seemed to accept that answer.
"Come on then," she said. "I'll help you take off the wig."
I nodded, and followed my mom back to Sarah's room. Once I had slumped into the chair at my vanity, my mom started pulling out the pins. I sat there with my eyes closed, letting her do the work. I hoped I could go to bed early.
"How are you doing, honey?" Mom revealed her ulterior motive to helping me. I wanted to sleep, but she wanted to talk.
"I'm okay," I told her again. "I'm just tired."
"I know, but that wasn't what I was asking," she said with a caring look on her face. I understood immediately.
"I'm um...I'm doing good," I replied. "It's taking some getting used to mentally, but physically I'm not that much different than before."
Mom laughed. "Oh, Megan, you are nowhere near the same as you were before! You're a girl now. That means everything has changed."
"Not really, Mom!" I replied with a bit of exasperation. "Sure things are different down there, but nothing really changed. I'm still the same person. I still like the same things. I'm still the girl I was born as! My life hasn't really changed."
I shouldn't have snapped at her, but I was too tired to do anything else. I could see the hurt look in her eyes as she finished pulling out the last pin and then removed the wig. I felt regret as I watched her place it into the armoire.
"Look, Mom," I said in a softer voice. "I'm sorry. I know that you are happy that you have a daughter now, but the truth is I've always been your daughter. You said it yourself. I haven't changed anything other than my clothes and my hair since becoming Megan. Sure, I've gotten to do a lot of the more traditional girly things, but I always liked them before."
Mom closed the doors to the armoire before turning toward me. She now had a humorous grin on her face.
"Oh Megan," she shook her head. "You don't know how much you've changed. You definitely aren't the same person that I knew two months ago. Yes, you always did have feminine tendencies, but you've truly blossomed since becoming Megan. You have so much confidence and so much courage now. You walk into a girls’ room and don’t think twice about it. You like to wear dresses and makeup. You never would have done those things in public two months ago. You never would have gotten up on stage before, but now...I think it's almost second nature to you. I can see how happy it makes you. I can see how happy you've become. I'm not trying to upset you when I tell you this, honey. Yes, you are the same wonderful, caring person that you’ve always been. It’s just that I'm so amazed at how much my little girl has grown up. I'm proud of you."
Without another word, she wrapped me in a hug. I hugged her back with all of my might. I loved her so much. I was so glad that I had somebody like her in my life.
"Have you had any lunch yet?" she asked me a moment later. I shook my head. "Come and get something to eat, and then you can get some more sleep."
I smiled. That sounded like a great plan.
A knock on my door woke me up the following morning. A glance at my alarm clock showed me that it was already 9:00 AM.
"Megan?" Dad asked through the door. "Are you awake?"
"Yeah," I replied. "Come in."
The door opened and my dad walked in with a smile on his face and a tray of breakfast in his hands.
"How are you feeling?" he asked me. I sat up and accepted the tray of food with a large smile.
"Great now," I replied, garnering a laugh from him.
"Listen," he said. "I need to run into the office for a while, but how would you like to go car shopping this afternoon?"
"Really?" I asked excitedly.
"Yes," he smiled. "But there is one caveat. You'll probably be using the car as both Sarah and Megan, so we probably don't want to get something too flashy. If people recognize it as Sarah's car but see you driving it, that could cause trouble. Get dressed as Sarah and think about what you want to go look at, okay?"
"Okay," I replied excitedly. I already had some ideas for cars that would work for both of my identities. I couldn't believe I was getting my own car!
"Alright," he said. "I'll be back after lunch to pick you up."
I smiled back at him, and he left the room. After he had left I turned on the TV in my room while I ate the breakfast he had brought me, but I couldn't really find anything worth watching. After I was finished eating, I decided to get up and do some research on the different cars I was thinking about.
I climbed out of bed and started my computer. I used to spend a lot of time on my computer, but I rarely sat at it since I had started my new life. The video games and programs that had kept me entertained before Megan came along were nowhere near as important to me now.
While the computer started the boot process, I picked up my breakfast tray and stepped out of my room and walked down the hall to the kitchen.
"Morning, Austin," I said when I saw him sitting at the counter eating his own breakfast.
"Hi, Megan," he replied after swallowing. "Is Dad really taking you car shopping today?"
"Yeah!" I replied excitedly.
"Are you going to drive me around?" he asked with hope.
I laughed. "Maybe. I think that depends on how busy I am with Sarah."
He looked downcast at that news. It seemed like I had some piece of Sarah in my life each day. He must have realized that I wouldn't be quite as available as he had hoped.
I finished washing the dishes from my breakfast and then returned to my room. I sat down at my computer desk and opened my Internet browser.
Luxury was definitely something that I was looking for. I knew that I could buy a pretty nice car for relatively cheap, or at least what Sarah might be able to call cheap. I surfed around a couple of the luxury brands I knew: BMW, Mercedes, Lexus. They had nice cars, but I didn't see anything that just screamed to me to buy them. Perhaps I'd have to see them in person.
Around 11:30 I decided to get ready. I didn’t know when Dad would be home to pick me up, and I didn't want to waste a minute of the time we could be using to shop. After taking a shower, I stepped into Sarah's room to get dressed. It only took me about 45 minutes to put on some clothes, do my makeup, and place the wig on my head. I was picking out a purse and placing the items I needed inside when I heard the front door close. Dad must be home.
I stepped out of Sarah's room and headed for the front room. But I couldn't see or hear Dad.
"Austin was that..." I trailed off mid-sentence when I saw him sitting on the couch with someone. A girl, of all things. Austin and a girl? "Your father?" I finished as an afterthought.
"Sarah Carerra!" The girl shrieked at the same time that Austin grimaced. I hoped I hadn't accidently interrupted something important between the two young lovebirds! I couldn't believe that my brother was finally hanging out with a girl!
"Uh, hi," I said, not sure what else to say. She jumped up from the couch and ran over to me, wrapping her arms around me in a hug before I could stop her.
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" she chanted over and over. When she finally let go of me and stepped back, she had the biggest smile on her face. "I'm your biggest fan!"
I looked over at Austin. It was immediately apparent that he was not happy with me. I tried to give him an apologetic look, and was happy to see the tips of his mouth curl up slightly. At least he knew I hadn't done it on purpose.
"Austin!" the girl turned back to him. "Why didn't you tell me that you know Sarah Carerra?"
Austin frowned again. I was really sorry that I was putting him into this position. I didn't want to make this any harder than it had to be for him. I knew Austin wasn't the most outgoing boy, so whatever he had done to get a girl to come over to our house must have been hard for him.
"My dad is Sarah's agent," he finally told her.
"I've known the family since I was a kid," I told the girl. "Austin is like a little brother to me."
"That's so awesome!" she exclaimed.
At that moment, I heard the door to the garage open, and I prayed that it was Dad coming to save Austin and me from this situation.
"Megan?" I heard him yell to get my attention. "Are you ready to go?"
I could hear him walking through the kitchen when I yelled back, "She's already gone, Don."
He stepped around the corner into the front room, seeing the scenario for the first time. "Oh," he replied at the sight of the girl. "Well, are you ready then, Sarah?"
"Yes," I replied, happy to leave this girl with Austin. I'd already intruded enough.
"Wait!" she nearly moaned at the thought of me leaving. "Can I at least get your autograph?"
I looked at Austin again. He nodded slightly, and I felt a pit form in my stomach at the mess I had made to his day. He must not have known that I was going out as Sarah, or he would have warned me about her coming over.
Dad walked into the kitchen and came back with one of the press photos.
"What's your name?" I asked the girl while uncapping the pen and taking the photo from my dad.
"Susan," she replied. I quickly wrote a short message and signed the photo.
"It was nice to meet you, Susan," I told her while handing her the photo. "Take care of Austin for me."
I saw Austin roll his eyes at my words, but Susan nodded her head vigorously. I gave them a wave, grabbed my purse, and followed Dad out through the kitchen. I could only hope Austin would forgive me.
I sighed as I climbed back into Dad's BMW. He had a nice car. Why was it so hard to find something nice for Sarah?
We had been to five different dealerships now. Every single one of them was excited to see me, and I'd never been waited on quite like they had waited on me before. Every place brought me a bottle of water and asked me if there was anything else they could do while Dad and I walked around the lot with a salesman. Every salesman had a gleam in his eye as he told me about each vehicle’s features.
But all of them were disappointed. Nothing seemed to be right. I couldn't find a car that felt enough like Sarah and enough like Megan to satisfy both of my lives. We'd looked at BMW, Mercedes, Lexus, Cadillac, and Acura, but none of them had what I wanted. I was beginning to think that I didn't even know what I wanted.
"I'm sorry, Dad," I told him. I could see the grim look on his face. I was sure that if I didn't have the money to buy a luxury car, then I probably wouldn't be having this problem. Most kids my age didn't have this opportunity. Those that did almost always used their parents’ money to buy a car. I had the unique opportunity to purchase my own luxury car with my own money at the age of sixteen, and I wanted it to be perfect.
"It’s okay, Princess." His words were comforting, but I could see the way he held his lips together as he spoke. He was ready to give up. "Let's try one more dealership. If you don't like what they have, we'll call it a day."
"Okay," I told him. I agreed with his mood. I was ready to give up too.
Dad continued driving. I didn't know where we were going, and I didn't know what else there was to pique my interest. But piqued is what happened to me when we pulled into the last dealership of the day.
"Audi?" I asked. I'd heard of them before, but I didn't know anybody who owned one. However the cars that were sitting on the lot certainly looked interesting.
We stepped out of Dad’s car, and soon we had the same reactions that had happened at the other dealerships. A few people started scurrying, and a salesman started heading our way.
"I'd suggest an A4 or an A6," Dad told me quietly. I understood immediately that he was trying to convey his opinion to me before the salesman reached us. "The A4 is cheaper and sportier though, if that makes a difference."
It did. I might be all girl now, but that didn't mean that I hadn't been influenced by boyish tendencies when I had been living my life that way. Sporty sounded good to me.
"Ms. Carerra!" the salesman said excitedly as he approached. I was still amazed at how many people recognized me now. Three weeks ago I had entered a diner as Sarah, and while many of the other patrons had recognized me, they didn't know who I was. Now, everyone I met could place my name with my face. Unfortunately, I was also aware that my collapse and the press conference fiasco had probably been the cause of much of that recognition.
"What can we do for you today?" the salesman continued. Once again I saw that gleam in a salesman’s eye. He knew I was likely paying in full today. People like me weren’t worried about credit approval.
"We were hoping to look at some A4's," I told him. I also saw the smile on my dad's face at that statement. Apparently, that was the car he had hoped I would go with.
"Sure, sure," the salesman said and then motioned in a direction. "Right this way. Can I offer you some water or a snack while we look?"
By this point I'd had enough water handed to me to drown a cat. "No, I'm fine."
The salesman led us over to a section that had some nice looking cars lined up in a row. Immediately I liked what I was seeing. For some reason, the sleek lines and smooth curves really looked good to me. He showed us around many of the features and options that the different vehicles had, and we finally ended up looking at a black one sitting on the end. I truly liked what I had seen.
"I like them," I mentioned, and I almost laughed at the sigh of relief from Dad.
"Which one do you like the best?" my dad asked me. I looked around. I'd had my eye on one of them the whole time we were walking around, one the salesman hadn't shown to us.
"What about that one?" I asked while pointing to the dark blue one that was sitting on a different row. It was the only one around that was that color.
"That one?" the salesman asked nervously. Why was he acting that way? Was there something wrong with that car? We walked over to it, and I saw a small twitch in Dad's expression. "This is actually an S4. It's more expensive, but it comes with a bigger engine and a sportier design."
Ohhh - both of them were worried about a price increase over what we had been looking at. "Too expensive?" I asked Dad. It was my money, but he had a better grasp on how much things should cost. Whether I could afford it or not, it was the best color on the lot.
He stepped over to the window and looked at the price displayed. Eventually, he shook his head. "No," he replied. "It is a bit more expensive, but it's still in the price range I figured we'd be looking at today."
I smiled excitedly. I'd finally found a car that I liked. "Can we test drive it?"
The salesman looked very nervous again. I could guess quite easily why. I might be somewhat of a celebrity now, but I was still only sixteen. I was asking him to place a very expensive vehicle into the hands of someone who hadn't had much driving experience. It looked like he was trying to decide what to do for a few moments before he finally said, "I'll go get the keys."
The S4 was more than I could have asked for! The second I started it up and heard the engine roar, I was ready to sign on the dotted line. When I got it out on the street and pushed on the gas pedal, it was a done deal. By the time we got back to the dealership the salesman, who had been sitting next to me in the passenger seat, knew it too.
My dad did the negotiating, and within an hour, I was driving it off the lot and following my dad all the way home. Perhaps it was the boyish part of me that wished Dad would drive faster.
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The last time I was here I had collapsed on stage. That wasn't likely to happen today, but that knowledge didn't make me feel any less nervous.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.14 - Wake Up! Redux by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: November 1, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.14 - Wake Up! Redux
I stepped into The Treble with Music with a large smile on my face. In two weeks I would be signing CD's in this store. Dad had confirmed the details earlier this morning before he took me car shopping. But unlike what I'd be wearing then, I was dressed casually and with no glam and no wig.
"Emily!" I said excitedly when I saw her working behind the counter at the store. The place looked pretty deserted at 8:00 in the evening.
"Hi, Megan," she replied while looking up. She stopped sorting through the boxes she was looking through and devoted her attention to me as I got closer. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought I'd come and see where Sarah Carerra will be signing CD's in a couple of weeks," my sly grin brought a large smile to her face.
"Who told you that!" somebody yelled from a door behind Emily before she could respond. A moment later a man in his early 40's with a full head of hair, rugged face, and an athletic build came out. He didn't seem very happy that I already had that kind of information. I wasn't sure how to respond, since I didn't expect anyone else to be at the store, but Emily just started laughing.
Once she calmed down, she introduced us. "Megan, meet my boss, Jeffery Chambers. Jeff, this is Megan Campbell. She's how I know Sarah Carerra."
"Oh," he said, and he calmed down immediately. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Any relation to Don Campbell?"
"He's my dad," I told him. Dad had mentioned that he had been working with ‘Jeff’ to set up both the CD signing and the mini concert that I'd be performing at the small stage area nearby. He said Jeff was the store's owner, so this must have been him.
He looked at me for a moment before turning back to Emily. "We're pretty much done here, Emily. You can clock out if you want. We can finish the inventory tomorrow."
"Thanks, Jeff," Emily smiled brightly. Fun job or not, I could tell she was happy to get off for the night. I waited while she stepped into the back room and, presumably, clocked out. Then she came back out and around the counter.
"Are you ready to go?" I asked her.
"Yeah," she replied with a puzzled look on her face. "Do I need to call my mom and tell her not to pick me up? She should be here any minute."
"Nope," I grinned at her. "I'm your ride for the evening."
"Okay," she said. "Did you want to do some shopping first or go home?"
I could tell that she was sincere in her question, but I'd known her long enough to know that she really didn't want to wander the mall after her shift.
"We can go," I said simply. "Besides, if we leave now we can take the long way home in my new car."
"Your what?!" she screamed at me with both confusion and excitement. "When did you get a car?"
"About four hours ago," I said like it was no big deal. She hit my arm to get me to stop pretending it wasn't the coolest news she had heard all day. "Okay, okay, stop hitting me! Come on and I'll show it to you."
We hurried out to the parking lot where I had parked my new baby. Looking at her sitting there, I wasn't sure which I liked more: my car or my guitar. That was definitely a tossup; I knew I'd just have to keep both babies!
"Whoa!" Emily exclaimed when she got a look at it for the first time. "That is beautiful! I just love the color!"
"I know, right?" I replied. "They said it was a deep sea blue or something. All I know is that it was the best color on the lot, and it was the only one with this color."
"So is this your car or Sarah's?" she quietly asked a moment later.
"Both," I told her. "It's a nice car, but it isn't so flashy that people would be able to recognize it as Sarah's. That way I can drive it as Megan too."
"Ethan is going to be jealous," she said next. I laughed. Ethan was the one who often drove us around. Occasionally his mom would let him drive her car. But it didn't quite compare to this. "You are so lucky!" she continued.
"Yeah," I agreed. "But you get to benefit from it too. Come on, it's even better on the inside."
I unlocked the car and we got in. Emily smiled when I started the engine and it roared to life, but it was the shriek she gave when I accelerated onto the freeway that made the whole trip worth it.
It normally only took nine or ten minutes to get home by means of one of the boulevards, but instead I took the long way, which involved two freeways where I could really play with my new car. Traffic wasn't too bad, and even with the slightly longer distance it was only 20 minutes later that I pulled into my new parking spot inside the garage. Dad had decided that he would rather keep my car in the garage next to Mom's instead of his own to help keep it out of view of the public in case anyone did recognize it as Sarah's.
"I hate you," Emily told me while we climbed out.
"No you don't," I replied, watching a smile form on her face.
"Yeah, you’re right," she said through a short laugh. Then she came over and gave me a hug. I returned it gladly.
"You're coming tomorrow morning, right?" I asked her once we had released each other.
She nodded. "I wouldn't miss it. I don't have to work until 10:30, so I have plenty of time to come with you."
I smiled. It would be nice to have her on the set of 'Wake Up!' again. It would have been even nicer to have Ethan there too, but he didn't get home until Saturday. "I'll see you in the morning then."
Emily sighed in relief. She was worried that I was going to ask her to come in, but once again I knew her too well. After a long day of work I knew that she wanted to go home, eat, and go to bed, especially if she was going to wake up early enough to accompany me to the show in the morning. I watched until she was out of sight, then I stared at my car for a few moments. Finally, I walked into my house. I too wanted to get a good night's sleep. I would need the rest because the band and I were going to spend more time working on my songs after we finished on 'Wake Up!'.
I awoke early the next morning, showered and ate breakfast, before Stephanie and Julia arrived to get me ready for the show.
"I got you something new," Julia said while brandishing a few bags at me. I was very curious as she started pulling out the outfit she wanted me to wear. I knew that I could tell her no if she tried to get me to wear an outfit I didn't like, but she had yet to come up with one that fit that criteria.
This morning was no exception. Soon she had me in a very dark blue pair of skinny jeans and a slightly baggy yellow top that had a very intricate design on it. Last time she had dressed me, it had been in the plain clothes for the photo shoot at the airport, but today she had me back in glam. She had me put on the accessories before she pulled out the ‘heavy artillery’.
"Whoa!" I exclaimed! It was the only word that adequately described the shoes that she pulled out of a box. I had become used to wearing heels since my transformation; both Megan and Sarah were often seen wearing them. But these shoes were something else. They were made from black leather and were held on my feet by a number of straps that crossed over my foot. But it was the thin three inch heel that had me worried. While the shoes weren't screaming out for sex at all, they did have a thin stiletto that I was afraid was going to break at the smallest amount of pressure. It took me at least five minutes of walking around the house before I was confident enough that they would support my weight.
Once Julia was done with me, Stephanie worked her magic on me like she always did. We hadn't signed a contract with Starlight Cosmetics yet, but Stephanie was already getting into the spirit. By the time we were ready to head out the door, I looked fabulous once again.
Sadly, I couldn't convince Dad to let me drive to the studio. Perhaps he remained worried about me having my own car, and he didn't want me driving all the way up to Burbank, even if he was with me. Or perhaps he was just scared to ride with me while I learned to drive in heels like the ones that had been strapped onto my feet. That would certainly take an effort.
Instead I sat in the back of Dad's car with Emily, who was dressed as Chloe, and we caught up on each other's lives. It was something we hadn't had much time to do during the week because of our jobs, and I was glad that we could spend a little time together before Ethan came home. I still wasn't sure how I was going to handle that situation.
Once we arrived on set it was a flurry of activity to get ready to perform. Getting ready for a performance always took a skill that amazed me when I watched how efficient the band was at setting up their equipment and tuning it just right. By the time I was ready to walk on stage for my interview, the band had everything ready and we were able to perform a short sound check during a commercial break.
Then it was time to face the firing squad.
I loved getting up on stage and performing. I loved the rush I got, which I hadn't felt since the last time I was on the 'Wake Up!' stage. I loved my fans and the supporters that had made Sarah a star. But none of that could prepare me for my first public appearance since the press conference. I was a bundle of nerves all over again. I knew I had what it took to pull off the interview and the song, but I couldn't help but be afraid of what kinds of questions I was going to be asked. Free form discussion had not been the best experience the last time I had tried it.
I knew intellectually that Aubrey and Matt weren't going to slam me like Brady and some of the others had at the press conference, but that wasn't enough to keep me from shaking slightly as I stepped out onto the stage and waved to the crowd as I made my way over to the seating area. I gave Aubrey a short hug and shook Matt's hand once again. So far so good.
"Good morning, Sarah," Aubrey greeted me after we had each taken our respective seats. "It's nice to have you in the studio again."
"Good morning," I replied. "Thank you for having me back."
"Let's start with the obvious question first," Aubrey continued. "How are you feeling?"
"You know, I'm actually feeling really good," I told her with a smile before looking around at the audience. I was happy to see that they were smiling back. I was half afraid they wouldn't want to see me after the events of the last couple of weeks. "It's been an exhausting week, but I'm getting back into the flow of things. I don't have the energy I did before the surgery, but it's coming back slowly."
Aubrey and Matt returned my smile. I had deliberately opened the door for them to ask about the surgery, and I knew they would take the opportunity. But that's what I needed them to do. The only way that I could get through this would be to give my fans what they wanted. They wanted to know that I was okay and that I wasn't going to keel over on stage again. Aubrey and Matt needed the opportunity to talk about what had happened, and I had to give it to them.
"Can you tell us more about what happened?" Matt spoke up. I nodded with another grin that I hoped didn't look as scared as I felt to dive into this topic.
"Yes," I said. I cringed at having to talk about this in front of my dad and all of the other males watching the show, but I pressed on. "The Friday before my first concert, I was told that I had a...a blockage that was going to prevent me from having my period correctly. I'm a late bloomer, and my doctor was worried that it would cause some problems if we didn't get it taken care of. I was supposed to have that procedure the day after I was last here. But we all know that didn't work out. Fortunately, the doctors were able to get everything worked out while I was in the hospital, but they couldn't do anything about the embarrassment it caused. I feel really bad that I couldn't finish my performance last week."
"That's okay, Sarah," Matt said. "You'll get your chance to finish it today." I gave another smile at his words.
"So you're all better now - no more medical issues?" Aubrey asked.
I nodded. "My doctors have given me a clean bill of health. I was actually in the studio recording two new songs on Monday, I worked with the band to get another song ready for recording on Tuesday, and we shot the cover of the album on Wednesday. Like I said, I'm not quite at 100% yet, but I am working again."
"That's good to hear," Matt said and a small roar of approval worked its way around the studio audience. I smiled at their gratitude. It was exactly what I needed to help calm the nerves that I was still feeling. Then I realized something more important: I couldn't wait to get behind my microphone again!
"Is the album still scheduled to come out on July 8?" Aubrey asked me.
I nodded my head again. "Yes. We knew that I was going to be having surgery. We had that planned into the schedule. The album will still be coming out on time."
"Do you have any fun events planned around the release? Appearances, CD signings, that sort of thing?" Matt asked.
"Yes," I replied again. "I'm going to be performing a short concert and then signing CD's afterward. I'm not sure if everything has been worked out yet, so details are still forthcoming. I believe that my agent said the information would be posted on my website?" I looked over at where my dad was sitting in the audience. He was nodding his head. "Yes, the details will be posted on the website soon if anyone is interested in coming."
I was willing to tell them exactly where I would be on the 8th, but Dad had told me to give the answer I had given if the question was asked. While the CD signing had been completely set up, Dad was still working with the mall to set up the performance.
"I understand you'll also be performing a concert tour at the end of the summer, correct?" Aubrey asked me next.
"I am," I replied with another smile. I couldn't wait to see more of the country on the tour. My family had never done much traveling while I was growing up, and I hoped this would be a good chance to see some of the places I had always wanted to go. "I know we'll be having a show here in Los Angeles and one in New York, but I think they are still working on the other places in the tour. Once again I'm sure the full schedule will be posted at sarahcarerra.com soon."
"It sounds like you're really getting a lot of attention in a short amount of time," Matt said with a laugh.
"Yeah," I replied, laughing along with him. "Trying to set up all of these schedules and get everything else done like the album has definitely been a unique experience. But I wouldn't want it any other way."
"Sadly, we don't have much time with you this morning," Aubrey said in a downcast tone. "But you did agree to sing a song for us, correct?"
"Yes," I smiled back at her. I'd been waiting for this performance all week. "Instead of singing 'Intuition' for you guys today, I thought that I'd take the chance to premiere a new song for you."
"Oh!" Aubrey and Matt both said in excitement. They were good actors, because they already knew I was playing a new song today.
"Why the change?" Matt asked a moment later.
"Last week after the press conference, I felt horrible. It was one of the worst days of my entire life," I told them. "I spent most of the day in my room at home. I wasn't even sure that I could get back out and sing again."
"What happened to change your mind?" Aubrey asked. I heard the concern in her voice. She might have known that I wasn't going to sing 'Intuition', but she hadn't heard any of this information before.
"Later that evening my dad came in to cheer me up," I replied. "He received a letter from the editor of the Hollywood Herald apologizing for what had happened. It also mentioned that the reporter had been fired. I began to feel better after reading the letter and hearing the obvious concern from the editor. I spent the rest of the night writing a song about how I felt, and about how I was going to overcome what had happened. The song I'm going to sing for you today is called 'You Can't Hurt Me'."
"There you have it, America," Matt told the camera. "Sarah Carerra premiering her new song 'You Can't Hurt Me' right here on 'Wake Up!'."
I stood up as the cheering started and stepped over to where the band was waiting for me. I smiled to each of them before taking my place behind my microphone. I took a deep breath. The last time I was here I had collapsed on stage. That wasn't likely to happen today, but that knowledge didn't make me feel any less nervous. This was my first time on stage in two weeks. It was the first time since I'd collapsed. And it was the first time since the press conference.
Thankfully, there wasn't any other place I would rather be! I felt the rush start as I stood there waiting for the song to begin. I had missed this. I had missed being up on stage and singing for a crowd. It was time to show them that I still had what it took to be a great performer. I was nervous, but I knew that I could channel my nervousness into a great performance!
I looked at Jason. He was waiting for me; I grinned and nodded that I was ready. Immediately he started to play, and I jumped right in and vocalized a tune in harmony with his own. Once I had finished the first part and paused to take a breath, Stacy kicked in with the drums, crashing the cymbals as we started and playing a soft roll as we continued through the second part of the opening melody.
As I prepared to sing words for the first time in the song, every instrument built up to a small crescendo before quieting down into a nice beat as I began the first verse. The pain and the anger that I put into the words weren't forced by any means. It still stung to think about what had happened a week earlier, and it was easy to transfer that into the song. The band helped to set the mood by playing their parts with an edge to them. Half way through the first verse we added another beat, increasing the anger for a few measures before we lightened the tone, giving it an almost hopeful sound.
The whole time I sang about how upset I was with how people thought they could treat me differently just because I was in the public spotlight. I sang about how hurtful they could be and how much it affected me. I sang about how angry I was that they thought they had the right to put me down for the public's entertainment.
Then a few beats of Stacy's drums led us into a faster-paced, more forceful chorus that talked about how I wasn't going to take it. It was MY life, and I was going to live it by my own rules. I wasn't going to take the abuse that they would try to dish out at me. They weren't going to be able to change me into a person that I didn't want to be. And finally, just as the song said, I wasn't going to let them hurt me.
We immediately dropped back into the softer second verse. This time, it wasn't quite as angry and intense as it had been before. I talked about the disappointment I felt at myself for listening to the media and how I had reacted to them. I spoke about how I had let my guard down and then my realization that they couldn't control me. They couldn't tell me what to do.
The second verse was much shorter than the first, and it wasn't long before we ramped back up into the chorus. The second time through I put as much conviction into my words as I could. Now that the audience knew what I had discovered about myself, the words took on a whole new meaning as I not only told anyone who listened that they couldn't hurt me, but that I couldn't hurt myself either.
As we finished the second verse, we didn't immediately stop the more frenetic pace, instead basking in the feeling that it invoked. Sophie and Holly lit up the stage through this piece as they vocalized the melody that I had started the song with while I intermittently reminded the crowd that "You can't hurt me."
Then we fell back to the softer tune as I repeated the realization that I'd had in myself - the realization that gave the powerful voice leading into the chorus. But this time, instead of the frenetic chorus starting up, I sang the end of the chorus at a much softer pace and tone. When we came to the end of the chorus, I launched into the "You can't hurt me," while the band stopped playing completely. Once I had finished the lyrics, and without missing a beat, the band kicked it up a notch and we sang through part of the chorus again at the frenetic pace. This time as the chorus ended we kept the tone and pace at high energy as Sophie and Holly launched back into the vocal tune again as I continued to tell the crowd, "You can't hurt me."
We kept that up for a few seconds as we approached the end of the song, and while the band played the last of their notes, I started my own words. The last "You can't hurt me," ending after the music had finished.
The crowd started screaming again and the rush washed over me just like it always did at the end of a song. But most importantly, I had done it! I had returned to the stage and showed the world that I could overcome what had happened to me! I could continue to perform at my highest ability even in the face of adversity. And I would not let them try to change me or get to me in any way.
They couldn't hurt me.
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Ethan had been as close to me as a brother while we had grown up. In some respects, he was closer to me than Austin was. Were these feelings the same feelings that I had for Austin now? Or were they more?
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.15 - Mary, Me, and Ethan by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: November 8, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.15 - Mary, Me, and Ethan
After the show, the band followed us home and we spent the day in Sarah's room. We worked on finishing the songs that I had written. We managed to get two of the songs fleshed out and decided to meet again Saturday afternoon to finish the last one. We were scheduled to be in the studio on Monday and Tuesday to record them, so we were on a deadline to finish them.
By the end of the day I was exhausted. But I felt better than I had at the end of any other day this week. It was apparent that I was regaining some of my energy, even if it was happening slowly.
I awoke Saturday morning excited to talk to Mary again. She had been out of town for much of the last week, and I hadn't had a chance to talk to her about anything that had happened since my collapse two weeks ago. She had told me before that I could call her at any time, but I didn't want to disturb her vacation with my own problems.
Either way, I felt relieved when I hopped into my car to drive myself over to her office. It felt liberating to be able to drive myself. I saw the concern in the faces of my parents as I grabbed my purse and headed for the garage. I knew they were concerned to have me driving in the city alone, but I also knew that it was something I could handle. I was growing up, and that was something that they would have to get used to.
Mary's offices were only about 20 minutes toward downtown LA in Saturday morning traffic, and soon I was sitting in her waiting room, waiting for my turn to see her. It didn't take long before she followed a young girl out of her office and turned toward me.
"Good morning, Megan," she greeted me with a smile.
"Morning," I smiled back and put down the magazine I had been reading. Then I stood up and followed her back to her office, taking my regular seat. Mary closed the door.
Once she had sat down, she started our session. "No parents today?" she asked.
"No," I replied, my smile growing larger. "I drove myself this morning. Sarah bought a car on Thursday."
"Congratulations," she said.
"Thank you," I replied. She smiled at me for a moment before turning to the caring look that I was all too familiar with. I might not have talked to her about what had happened, but it was obvious that she had heard about it.
"I understand that you've had a pretty tough couple of weeks," her concern for me was clearly evident in her words. "I'm sorry I wasn't here last week. You know you can call me anytime you need to talk, right?"
"Yeah," I replied. "It was pretty bad last Saturday, but it all turned out okay in the end."
"How so?" she asked me. She seemed surprised that I would describe the events of the week in that way.
"Did you see me on 'Wake Up!' yesterday morning?" I asked. She shook her head. "Well, I was really down after the press conference - you heard about that, right?" This time she nodded. "But all of that turned into a really good song. I performed it on 'Wake Up!' yesterday and I think it's going to be a big hit. I wouldn't want to go through that type of press conference again, but I'm glad that I DID go through it."
I jolted at my own words. I was GLAD that I had gone through this? I had learned this week that for the sake of the song I was glad that I had gone through it. But as I sat in Mary’s office and pondered this, I realized that there was more to it than that. Like my song implied, I was now a better person because of what had happened. I had fallen into the pits of despair a week ago, but now I had climbed out and it would be much harder to push me back in.
Mary sat in silence, watching me as I came to this realization. I looked back up at her and nodded. "Yes," I said with confidence. "I AM glad that this happened."
Mary beamed at me. "You are an amazing young woman, Megan. I was hoping to reach this point before the end of our session. I wasn't expecting to sit silently while you figured that out yourself. I can see now why you are so strong. That will definitely be an asset in your life."
"Thank you," I smiled back at her. I decided then and there that I was going to put this episode behind me! Brady Townsend had unintentionally given me a gift when he confronted me at the press conference. He had shown me that I was strong, that I was confident, and that I could overcome the negativity that the media can throw at a celebrity. They couldn't hurt me!
"Do you want to talk about it at all?" she asked me.
"No," I replied truthfully. "I think I'm okay with what happened."
"Okay," she sat back in her chair. "Is there anything that you do want to talk about then?"
There was, but I didn't know how to broach the subject. Ethan was coming home from his summer camp today, and I still didn't know what I felt about him. I could really use someone to talk to.
"It's Ethan," I finally managed to say.
My two best friends were sitting on my porch as I pulled into my driveway. I'd had a good, long talk with Mary about this, and I felt I was ready to face Ethan. I still wasn't completely sure about what my feelings toward him were, but I felt that I had a better understanding of what was going on between us.
I stopped in the driveway instead of pulling all the way into the garage. Ethan had stood up when he saw me pulling into the driveway, and I knew he was definitely eyeing my car. He had always wanted a nice car like this.
I opened my door and stepped out, as both Emily and Ethan started to walk to me. I tried to catch Ethan's eye, but he was staring at my car instead.
"Hi, guys," I said, hoping to break his reverie. Apparently it worked, because he looked up at me. "Hi, Ethan," I purposely said to him.
"Hi, Megan," he replied, eyeing me instead of the car now. I hadn't seen him in over two weeks, and I was glad to have him home.
That's when I did another stupid thing. Thankfully, I didn't kiss him this time. But I got nearly the same reaction when I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a quick hug. I hadn't even thought about doing that; it seemed to be some sort of natural reaction.
"I missed you," I told him after I had let go and stepped back. He grimaced at my words, and I realized he could have taken them wrong. The truth was I didn’t really know what I had meant by them. "I mean, I thought we were friends. I know I made things awkward when I kissed you, but you could have at least told me you were going to camp."
"I'm sorry," his shoulders slumped with his words. "But you really threw me for a loop, Megan! I didn't know what to do!"
It was my turn to grimace. I knew exactly what he was talking about. I never should have kissed him! The only thing that gave me hope that I hadn't ruined our friendship was the fact that he was standing in my front yard.
"I'm sorry too," I replied. "I don't even know why I did it. I certainly didn't plan it beforehand."
I could feel tears threatening to spill out of my eyes as I dropped my head. Ethan had been my friend for a long time. How could I have done something to jeopardize that? How could I have been so stupid?
We stood in silence for a few moments before he finally spoke. "It's okay," he said. "You surprised me, but it was my own reaction that scared me." I raised my head to look up at him. He had a wide smile on his face. I felt the corners of my own mouth tug against the frown that was still on my lips. It didn't take long before I was smiling back. "Megan, you know that I had a crush on Sarah before I learned about your secret. Having her, you, kiss me...that was very unexpected and I felt those same feelings bubble up. I don't want to jeopardize our friendship!"
I jolted at his words. I didn't know if I had those types of feelings for Ethan. Obviously there was something there or we wouldn't be in this situation. But his words almost felt like he was slamming shut a door in our relationship that I wasn't sure I even wanted to have open. It sounded like he didn’t even want to entertain the possibility that we had feelings for each other.
"I don't want to do that either," I finally responded. No matter what, I didn't want to lose Ethan. I knew that throwing sexual attraction into the mix between two friends of opposite genders could really screw things up. Before Megan, that had never been a problem among Emily, Ethan, and me. But with the changes that I had gone through, the dynamic of our friendship had changed significantly.
And that was that. Whatever we felt for each other, we were going to be friends first. Only time would tell if something else developed. As we stood there in silence after coming to this realization, I wondered if this was the right thing to do. Would it be better to find out if there was anything between us? Would that destroy our friendship like we feared? Did I even want to go down that road?
"Nice car," he said to break the tension in the air. It worked, and I started laughing.
"Thank you," I replied once I was capable of speech again. "It's Sarah's, but I get to use it too."
"You’re making me jealous," he said, staring at the car once again. I started to laugh once more.
Emily and Ethan spent a few hours with me before the band was scheduled to come over. But the two of them opted to head home instead of hang out with us while we worked on finishing the last song for the album.
As I worked with the band, I kept dwelling on my feelings for Ethan. The last song that we had left to finish was 'Love?'; as we worked on the song, the words and feelings that I had first applied to Josh Holliday now took on a whole new meaning when I thought about Ethan. Ethan and Josh almost seemed interchangeable.
I was confused: either my feelings for Ethan didn't seem to be as pronounced as my feelings for Josh, or I just didn't recognize them. Thinking about Josh still brought a warm and fuzzy feeling to my heart. I had a similar reaction when I thought about Ethan, but I had always associated that feeling with our friendship. Was it possible that those feelings were being transformed from friendship into something more without Ethan, Emily or I noticing? Perhaps it was possible, but had that really happened in our relationship?
I wasn't sure. I'd tried to understand this with Mary, but we concluded that we didn't have enough information. I didn't think that I was in love with Ethan. But there was definitely a difference in our relationship now than what we'd had before I had become Megan.
Ethan had been as close to me as a brother while we had grown up. In some respects, he was closer to me than Austin was. Were these feelings the same feelings that I had for Austin now? Or were they more?
I was so confused as I got ready for bed that evening. If I thought becoming a girl had been hard, then I was kidding myself. Doing that had been child's play compared to what I was going through now.
After church the next day Ethan and Emily came by my house again. I struggled the whole time we were together to try and determine what to do about Ethan. I knew that we said we would be just friends, but I kept thinking that there was more there than that. It seemed almost like both of us wondered if there was more to our relationship than the friendship we had formed while we grew up together.
But outwardly it seemed like any other day that we got together before the concert. We lounged around, and played some games. I even performed some of my new songs for Ethan. But I did not perform 'Love?' though, because that would have been too much right then.
Then we listened to the countdown together. The very first time that 'Intuition' had been featured on the American Top 40 show we had been right here in Sarah's room. This time my friends were there when the song dropped from its spot on the top of the list.
'Intuition' had spent three weeks on top of the countdown - three weeks that left me reeling that people liked the song that much. But just like I had done to Josh, somebody had pushed me off the top after only three weeks.
Granted, the song still came in at Number 2, but I couldn't help but think that its time had come. I knew that ‘Intuition’ would slowly make its way down the list until it dropped off completely.
The sad thing was that I knew 'Ever After' didn't have what it took to get back on top. As my second single, it was a good choice. But its targeted audience wasn’t as wide as 'Intuition'. 'Ever After' would not appeal to as many people. I loved the song dearly, but it wasn't going to put me on top again.
But 'You Can't Hurt Me' might. Like Sophie had said the first time I played it for her, it was powerful. I wished with all of my heart that we could release it as my second single instead of 'Ever After'.
Emily and Ethan left shortly after the show ended, because they had dinner plans with extended family. I was left wondering what to do. Should I talk to Dad about changing which song we made the second single? Was it too late to change all of the plans that had been put in motion?
I thought for the most part that it wouldn't be a problem. There may be some marketing material that had already been created, but the second single wasn't scheduled to be released until the album came out. That would give us plenty of time to get everything done.
But there were a creative director and a producer chomping at the bit to make the 'Ever After' music video. I had seen a script with some of his ideas on it, and I agreed that it would be a good video. How hard would it be to shift to making a video about 'You Can't Hurt Me'? I was scared to even ask.
I stood up from Sarah's couch, determined to ask my dad. But I couldn't find him. He wasn't in his office and his car was not in the driveway. Instead I found Austin sitting in front of the TV in the front room. That gave me time to resolve the other matter that had been nagging at me for a few days.
"Hi, Austin," I greeted him while sitting down on the other end of the couch from him.
"Hi," he replied but his eyes never left the TV. I didn't think that he wanted to talk to me right now. I figured now was as good a time as any to discuss the matter anyway. The show he was watching looked more like a time waster than anything he would really care about.
"I'm sorry about the other day," I said, forcing him to think about what had happened. "I didn't know that you had anyone over."
He sighed and his shoulders sagged at first, but then he finally sat up straight on the couch and turned toward me. "It's okay. I know it wasn't your fault. I probably wouldn't have asked her to come over if I'd known you were going out as Sarah."
"Still, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything." The smile on my face was inquisitive, and he laughed at my implied question. "Who was she?"
"Just a girl I know from school," he replied. I was hoping for more, but he didn't seem to be forthcoming.
"And..." I prompted. The smile that broke out on his face was enough to confirm the suspicions I'd had about his true motives. He DID like her!
"Okay, okay," he said while turning really, really red. "I like her. I invited her over to listen to some music. I didn't know that she was such a big Sarah Carerra fan, though. She was truly impressed when I showed her the room."
My mouth hung open at his words. "You showed her my room!" I yelled!
Immediately the dreamy look dropped from his face. "No," he responded quickly. It was an obvious lie though. "I'm sorry, Megan, but she had just met you. What was I supposed to do?"
I grimaced. I knew that if our situations had been reversed, I might have done the same thing. If I'd had a boy over and his idol had a room at our house, I would have shown it to him to impress him. I couldn't blame Austin for doing the same. But..."She didn't take anything, did she?"
"No!" he responded immediately, mollifying me slightly. "I wouldn't even let her touch anything!"
"When do you see her again?" I asked slyly. I was going to milk his embarrassment for all it was worth.
"We were supposed to go to a movie on Wednesday, but Dad won't let me now because I had her over with no parents home. I don't know when I'll get to see her again."
"Wednesday, huh?" I pondered the day over my head. Then an idea formed. "We're supposed to be shooting a music video on Wednesday; do you want me to talk to Dad about allowing you to bring her to that?"
I saw him break into one of the largest smiles that I had ever seen. I knew that he hadn't liked it when I took her attention from him, but he wasn't beneath using Sarah to get closer to Susan. Bringing her to the filming of Sarah's music video would definitely get him points in her book.
Austin nodded vigorously, and I smiled back at him. I still couldn't believe that my brother had a girlfriend.
Now, if only I could figure out what was going on in my own love life.
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I had stepped over to the small table in the studio that held my water bottle and wet my throat. Then I turned toward the control booth to hear what Scott had to say about our latest attempt. But instead of Scott, my eyes connected to similar, emerald-green eyes on the boy who had just stepped inside from the hallway.
Johnny. Johnny Crawford. Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.16 - Unexpected Visitor by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: November 15, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.16 - Unexpected Visitor
Even though I owned my own car, Dad once again seemed to think that as long as he was going to be accompanying me anywhere, it would be in his car. I watched in frustration as the garage door closed, hiding my new baby inside as we pulled out of our driveway Monday morning. But today wasn’t the day to complain to him.
I was going to be in the studio for two days straight before we started shooting the music video. It was going to be a long week, and I hoped that I had the energy to get through it. But once the week was over, we would be heading up to Malibu for a few days. Well, we'd be up there during the day at least. Grandaddy’s and Gran's place was about 30 minutes up the Pacific Coast Highway. He'd been in real estate his whole life, and had amassed a lot of money before retiring a number of years ago. They had an amazing house right on the beach. We were going to have a beach party on Saturday and then we'd be up there again for a barbecue on Sunday before the fireworks later that evening. Malibu didn't set off any fireworks, but apparently there would be two private barges full of fireworks on either side of Grandaddy's house that two of his neighbors had paid for. It would be quite a show!
It had been just over one month since Aunt Judy's party, where most of Mom's family had met Megan for the first time. Most of the family had been accepting of me. I figured that the rest of them where going to be a little less judgmental when they saw me in a bikini.
That's what I needed! I needed a new bathing suit if I was going there! The black one Mom had purchased for me just wouldn't do for showing off to my cousins. I smiled when I realized that I could really blow them away. I needed to talk to Julia. She'd be able to get me something spectacular, even if it wasn't for Sarah. I almost pulled out my phone to give her a call when I thought of something else that was much more urgent.
I turned toward my father. "Dad?" I asked sweetly. A frown appeared on his face almost instantly at my tone, and I almost laughed. But that would ruin the ‘puppy dog look’ I was going for.
"Yes, Princess?" he glanced over at me briefly, but when he saw my wide eyes he immediately diverted his eyes back to the road. I knew that he thought he would be able to turn me down if he couldn't see me, but I'd been getting pretty good at wrapping him around my finger.
"Can we use 'You Can't Hurt Me' for the second single instead of 'Ever After'"? I turned on the puppy dog look full blast, but he never looked over.
Instead, he started laughing. That was definitely not the reaction I had been expecting! I knew that I lost the puppy dog look to the confusion that had washed over my face. It took me a few moments, but I finally realized that he was laughing in relief. I had no idea what he thought I was going to ask that worried him so much, but this didn't seem to be a bad idea in his mind.
Eventually, he turned and smiled at me before looking back at the road. "Yes, Princess, we can. I had a feeling that you were going to ask that question sooner or later. I already have the creative director working on ideas for the video. He was really excited about changing songs when I played a replay of Friday’s performance at ‘Wake Up’ for him - more excited than he had been about 'Ever After'."
I sat there, stunned! I hadn't expected it to be that easy to convince him we should change songs! I was truly amazed that my dad seemed to know me that well, especially since I had apparently changed so much this summer. But a smile quickly formed on my face, and Dad knew just how happy his agreement had made me. "How did you know I was going to ask?"
"I didn't," he replied. "But that song is amazing, Megan. I still can't believe how well you could turn what happened to you into such a positive song. If you didn't say anything, I was going to suggest it. We can delay all of the 'Ever After' stuff for single number three. Jonothon, he’s the creative director and producer we hired, was already spouting ideas five minutes after he had heard your song. It's an excellent decision."
I continued to smile as I sat back in my seat. That was easier than I thought it would be!
Another day in the studio. The band and I had four songs that we needed to record in two days. That usually meant long days to get everything done, but it had become apparent by lunchtime that we had an advantage this time. Working together to put the finishing touches on the songs I had written had already put us most of the way toward having them recorded. We started with 'You Can't Hurt Me', and by the time we broke for lunch we had already finished it and were most of the way through 'Friends Forever'. It would probably take us only another hour or two before Scott was happy with our work for the day. That would give me enough time to recuperate before we did it all again tomorrow.
It was just after we had sung 'Friends Forever' for the first time after lunch that my day turned into a nightmare.
I had stepped over to the small table in the studio that held my water bottle and wet my throat. Then I turned toward the control booth to hear what Scott had to say about our latest attempt. But instead of Scott, my eyes connected to similar, emerald-green eyes on the boy who had just stepped inside from the hallway.
Johnny. Johnny Crawford.
What was he doing here? He obviously wasn't here to see me, because the shock on his face as our eyes connected confirmed it. He seemed to be frozen in place as he looked at me. But why else would he be here if he wasn't looking for me? I knew that he had a huge crush on me; that had been apparent the night I'd had dinner over at his house as Sarah. Scott had been pretty adamant that he should stay away from me that night.
Of course! Scott! He was looking for his father! Out of the corner of my eye I saw Scott look up at me. I also saw the fear cross his face when he saw my expression, and he immediately turned to see what had spooked me. I could even see his own fear when he recognized his son standing in the doorway.
"Johnny!" Scott exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
Johnny didn't say anything for another moment or two as he was unable to remove his eyes from me. I'd barely escaped our last encounter, and I had hoped to never see him as Sarah again. In fact, I had hoped to never see him as Megan again too, since I had made him my enemy when I had refused to help him get Sarah's phone number. That had led to an embarrassing confrontation for him in the school cafeteria when he tried to out me as a girl before I was living full time as Megan. When I didn't refute being a girl, he had gotten really mad at me.
"Hi, Dad," he said softly. He still looked shocked when he glanced away from me and to his father, but he quickly seemed to be regaining his composure. I could faintly hear him through the door between the studio and the control room. The door was slightly ajar as we gave the song one first warm-up attempt after lunch. "I was looking for you; the receptionist said you were in here."
Scott stood up from the soundboard and tried to step into the line of sight between Johnny and me. It didn't fully work. I saw Johnny give me another glance around his father.
"Come on, let's go to my office," Scott said, stepping closer to Johnny and motioning for the door. I knew he was trying to separate us again. I silently thanked him for that. However, I doubted it was going to work.
To my surprise, Johnny nodded. His dad stepped past him as he walked out of the studio, but Johnny gave me a horrible leer before he followed behind him.
He'd be back. There was no way that he was going to walk away from me like he did if he wasn't. I sighed.
"Who was that?" Sophie asked from behind me.
"Scott's son," I replied, turning to find concern on her face. "We haven't had the best relationship since we met."
"Oh," she replied. "So you broke up with him?"
"No!" I exclaimed loudly. "I've never gone out with him! But he has a crush on Sarah. He tried to get me, I mean Megan, to give him Sarah's number. I refused. He wasn't very happy with me. I think he’s awful!"
"Sounds rough," Holly joined in the conversation.
"Yeah," I said. "I really hope I never have to see him again."
They smiled at me, but we all knew that was unlikely to be a possibility.
Dad had gone to his office to get some work done while we continued working, so to pass the time while we waited for Scott to return, hopefully sans Johnny, I decided to call Julia.
"Hi, Julia," I said when she answered.
"Sarah! It's so good to hear from you!" she replied. "What can I do for you?"
"I need a new bikini," I said before I chickened out. I hadn't worn a bathing suit since my surgery, and I was hesitant to show off just how changed I was. But I knew that I didn't have a choice. I wanted to go to the beach party on Saturday, and that meant that I would need a bathing suit. "For Megan," I added as an afterthought. If I hadn't, I'd expect that I'd find myself in something glittery that would be too glamorous for a family gathering.
"Oh, okay," she said sweetly. "Did you want to go shopping or do you want me to pick something out for you?"
"Either way works for me," I told her. "It's for a family beach party on Saturday, and I wanted to show them that I'm no longer the tomboy I used to be." Wasn't that the truth?
"I'll see what I can do," Julia said. "Is it okay if I bring a few things over tomorrow?"
"Sure!" I replied excitedly. "I'll be in the studio most of the day if it's easier for you."
"Okay, I'll be by sometime after lunch then."
"I'll see you then," I told her. "Thanks, Julia."
"It's my pleasure, Sarah," she replied. "Have a good day and don't worry about the bikini. I'll find you something spectacular."
"Alright," I replied. I could even hear the humor in my voice. "Bye."
"Bye," she said before I heard the click indicating she had hung up. I grinned. It was going to be a good weekend.
Unfortunately, it was at that time that Scott came back into the studio, followed by his son. My smile immediately turned to a frown, and Scott gave me an apologetic look. I gave him a reassuring smile before preparing to confront Johnny.
I had sat down on the couch in the control room to call Julia, but I stood up to greet the two Crawford men.
Scott spoke first, but I could still see Johnny checking me out over his shoulder. What did he expect from me if he couldn't do anything but leer? I definitely had no desire to spend any more time with him than I had to.
"Sarah, you remember my son Johnny?" Scott asked. I nodded and took the hand that Johnny was stretching out to me.
"It's nice to see you again," I said coolly. It was a lie.
"The pleasure is mine," Johnny spoke his first words to me since school had been let out. They were not nice words. In fact, they made my stomach turn. "I really like your music."
Those words were better, but nowhere near enough to overcome the queasiness that had built up in my stomach. The fact that I didn't believe him also made his words hard to stomach. I was nearly certain that Johnny didn't normally listen to my music.
"Sarah," Scott interrupted us. I was thankful that he did. I had no idea what Johnny wanted, but I did know that I didn't want to talk to him any longer. "We're wasting precious studio time. Everyone, let's get back to work."
I grinned briefly at Johnny, even though I didn't feel he deserved it, and stepped back into the studio. As we worked to try and finish 'Friends Forever' I watched as Johnny stayed close to his dad in the studio. I could also tell that his dad was getting frustrated that he was there too. I knew that my vocals weren't up to what they should be with him there. Johnny seemed to be spreading an aura that muted the sound of every member of the band.
Finally, after an hour of struggling through this, Scott ordered his son to leave. I watched as he angrily stepped out of the control room. I knew that he wasn't happy about it. But I was happy. I was happy that I didn't have to deal with him anymore. The only thing that I was worried about was the thought that he might come back or that he was waiting for me outside.
The result was immediate, and it only took us another half an hour to finish the song. Dad had returned from his office by the time we were done, and I was happy to have him escort me out on our way home. But first I told Scott that I would never record in the studio again if Johnny was there in the future. I had HAD it with him.
The next day consisted of much of the same activities. We started with 'Love?' and continued on to finish 'My Life'. Both songs sounded great after the help I had received from the band, and it took us even less time to record both of them.
"Good work, you guys!" I told them all. I even surprised myself by giving every one of the band members, and the girls, a hug to express my appreciation. "This is going to be one heck of an album."
"We couldn't have done it without you," Jason said while he dismantled his equipment. I wanted to do something to celebrate finishing the album, but too many of the band members already had plans for tonight.
"And I couldn't have done it without you, either," I replied with a happy grin on my face. I couldn't believe how blessed I was to have such good friends to work with. I couldn't ask for a better band to have on stage with me.
As the band started to filter out, I was happy to see Julia standing in the control room. A smile lit upon my face at the thought of what she'd have with her. I smiled and waved to her before heading to the control room.
"Hi, Julia!" I greeted her, wrapping her in a friendly hug.
"Hi, Sarah," she replied. "Are you ready to see what I got you?"
"Yes!" I said excitedly. I knew that whatever she had gotten for me would be worthwhile.
"Come on," was her response. I smiled broadly as I followed her out the door.
"Definitely this one," I told Julia, staring at myself in the mirror again. I'd spent half an hour trying on different bikinis in a private dressing room that Scott had let us use.
Julia had come through with her skills once again. She had six bikinis that she wanted me to look at. I already knew that I was going to purchase two of them from her. But it was as she pulled the last one from her bag that I knew she had been humoring me. She had been purchasing bikinis for Sarah Carerra instead of Megan Campbell.
But the last one, that one was for me. For Megan. From the halter top to the bikini bottoms, I couldn't stop staring at myself in the mirror after I had put it on. It wasn't skimpy; Julia had more class than that. But it did leave an aura of allure that I had never experienced as Megan. I'd seen it a lot in Sarah, and I knew that this swimsuit would look amazing on her. But we had taken off the wig for this one. Julia didn't want me to see it with the blonde wig on.
One of my favorite colors was yellow. It ranked right up there with pink and certain shades of blue. The color looked amazing on Sarah. And this one looked amazing on me. Just like the yellow dress I had worn the first day that I had gone to church as Megan, the swimsuit was a canary yellow. Not too bright, not too soft. Just perfect.
The suit itself was tied on me at both sides of my hips, on my back, and around my neck. No clasps, no hooks, just old fashioned shoelace bows kept the suit covering the parts I didn't want anyone to see. It managed to cover me in every way that a swimsuit should, but I knew my mom would probably not approve of it. That just made it all the better.
Plus, it was from Bloomingdale's! That was sure to get my cousins talking! Julia had told me that this suit was going to cost me about $120, but it was totally worth it. I still had a cap imposed on my trust account. I could only spend $500 a month from the account that held the earnings and assets of Sarah Carerra. But I had learned quickly how to overcome that limitation. Anything I purchased from Julia was billed through my dad's company to the account. I could spend all I wanted with her without affecting that $500 limit.
I rarely used this loophole though. It was hard work to make that money. I didn't want to waste it on frivolous things. But today...today was one of those days.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I felt sexy as Megan for the first time in my life. I'd had this feeling before when looking at Sarah in the mirror. I'd thought that I looked pretty as Megan many times. But I had never looked sexy.
"You aren't leaving this party without a boyfriend," Julia told me as she stepped behind me so I could see her in the mirror.
I laughed immediately at her statement. "It's a family party!" I exclaimed. "I certainly hope I leave without a boyfriend!"
That got her laughing too. But her sentiment was appreciated.
What would Johnny think if he saw me now?
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"Action!" Jonothon yelled, and I took a step forward. I took a total of five steps before I reached the sign pointing down the alley. I could hear the cameras behind me as I ran my fingers over the top of the sign while turning to walk down the alley. When I was two steps into the alley, Jonothon yelled, "Cut!"
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.17 - Stairway to Stardom by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: November 22, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.17 - Stairway to Stardom
"Morning, Austin," I said when I walked into the kitchen to get breakfast the next morning. It was earlier than I would have expected him to be up. "Are you coming to the video shoot?"
"Morning," he replied. Then he answered my question in a downcast tone. "No, I'm not coming."
"Why?" I asked. "I thought you were going to bring Susan."
"Dad won't let me," he grumbled. "He didn't think that we would enjoy watching you shoot the video. But he said I could bring her to the mall next week."
"Oh, okay," I said. "I know Emily and Ethan got bored when we were recording songs in the studio, so I can see how the music video could be just as bad. She'll enjoy the concert better, anyway."
"Yeah," he agreed, but it was obvious that he still wished he could bring her today.
"Why are you up so early then?" I asked while pulling out a bowl and some cereal for myself. There would likely be muffins and other things at the shoot, but I still wanted to eat something good before we left the house.
"Aaron and I are taking surfing lessons," he told me. "They start this morning. His mom is going to take us down to the beach."
"That sounds cool," I said. I'd never surfed before, but it would be fun to learn. "Maybe you can teach me afterward."
He smiled at the thought, and I smiled back before taking a bite of my cereal.
Once again I had failed to convince Dad to let me drive. Why did we even allow Sarah to buy a car if she wasn't going to get a chance to use it?
With Emily at work and Ethan not answering his phone, only Dad and I were in the car. I was excited to see what kind of ideas that the creative director had come up with. Normally, I would know before we went to shoot the video, but I didn’t have any details because we had changed the song at the last minute.
It took us about 45 minutes to reach the location of the shoot. As we pulled up to the building, I became even more curious as to what the director had in mind. I didn't know what I was expecting, but the short, red brick building was not it.
I stepped out of the car, noticing that the area had been cordoned off and that there was a police car nearby to keep people from coming inside the filming area. I hoped that there wouldn't be a big crowd like there had been at the beach, but I wasn't holding my breath.
"Over here, Sarah," Dad interrupted my thoughts, motioning to an area in front of a gray building next to where we had parked that was covered in a canopy to keep it shaded. I noticed two people sitting there waiting for us. As we approached they stood up and smiled.
"Ms. Carerra, it is an honor to meet you," one of them said, extending his hand. I took his hand, giving it a slight shake before smiling back at him. He was taller than my dad. He looked pretty fit, if not muscular, and had a full head of white hair. He didn't look old though, so I guessed it was probably dyed.
"Sarah, this is your producer and director this morning, Jonothon Smith," Dad introduced us.
"It's nice to meet you," I replied.
Jonothon then turned toward the woman at his side. She looked like she was in her early twenties, probably still a college student. "This is my assistant Katrina."
I nodded to her with a smile. "It's also nice to meet you."
She looked excited to meet me too, but I think her professionalism overcame her excitement because the only thing she did was nod back.
"To start, I thought we'd go over the idea for the video," Jonothon said. "Is that okay?"
"Yes," I replied, and I knew that I had a large grin on my face. "I'm really interested to see what you came up with."
"Follow me," he said and then motioned down the street. We walked in the direction he had indicated until we reached a small alleyway between the drab, gray building we had been standing in front of and the short, red brick building I had seen earlier. Then he pointed to a sign that looked slightly out of place along the road. Printed on the sign were the words 'Stairway to Stardom'.
"The video will start with you walking toward this sign," Jonothon told me. "Then, you'll turn and walk this way when the music starts." Jonothon then started walking down the short alleyway.
After about 10 feet, the alley opened up into a much larger area. It looked like a small parking lot hidden behind the gray building. There was a bunch of camera equipment there pointing toward an iron wrought staircase that was attached to the side of the red brick building. A sign at the beginning of the stairs clearly marked it as the 'Stairway to Stardom' and had an arrow pointing at an angle up the stairs.
"Here, you'll touch the sign almost reverently," Jonothon continued to explain and touched the sign in a motion I was sure I'd be repeating later. "The second part of the opening will start, and then you will head for the stairs. Once you take the first step onto the stairs, the words will start."
He took two steps up the stairs before stopping again. "Here is where you will get hit by the first tomato."
I stared at him blankly for a moment before I could find the words running around in my head. "What?" I exclaimed incredulously!
I didn't like the toothy smile he was giving me. It was like there was some big cosmic joke that I wasn't in on. "This is where you will get hit by the first tomato," he repeated. I must have scowled, because he started laughing. I HAD heard him correctly the first time, but I just didn't understand him. I turned to Dad, but he was laughing too. Either he had been told about the video beforehand and hadn't informed me, or he had already figured out whatever insane idea the director had for the video.
Dad wasn't helping, so I turned back to Jonothon. "Why?" I asked instead. I was not happy!
"Look, Sarah," he said with much more compassion and sincerity than had come with his tomato revelation. "You've been through a lot of adversity the last couple of weeks. I admire and respect how well you have overcome it. Your song talks about that journey and this music video will only reinforce that thought."
"Okay, but I still don't understand what that has to do with tomatoes," I told him. He chuckled again.
"The tomatoes are going to represent adversity," he replied. "The majority of the video will be shots of you climbing these stairs. The struggle and emotion will be evident on your beautiful face. Mixed throughout we will have shots of you and the band performing on the roof. But during the stair scenes, there will be a group of people throwing tomatoes at you. A few reporters, and a few fans - we'll have a couple of people who would try to bring you down and crush your dreams by throwing tomatoes at you."
I sighed. The LAST thing I wanted to do today was to get hit by tomatoes!
“People know what it means to be ‘hit by a tomato’,” Jonothon continued. “Also, there’s a famous expression: ‘If you want to rise above the crowd, expect to be hit by a few rotten tomatoes.’ You have certainly risen above this adversity.”
Then he held up what appeared to be a tomato. "The tomatoes themselves are actually tomato-shaped water balloons filled with colored water. They are designed to burst easily and won't cause any harm to you. They will not be throwing at your face. They will be hitting you below your shoulders, and they will be hitting the railing and the side of the building. The people throwing them are trained professionals, and every precaution for your safety is being taken. Okay?" I still didn't like the thought of going through this, but it was a good idea for the video. Without expression, I nodded to him.
He smiled and then we began to climb the stairs. "While you climb up, we are looking for the same types of emotions that you convey in the song: anger, disappointment, determination and then eventually satisfaction when you realize that you can and will overcome the adversity." He stopped again near the top. "Once you reach this point, the tomatoes will no longer hit you. Instead, they will fall short and hit the wall and the stairs below you. You'll start to look happy and satisfied that you can overcome what is being thrown at you. You'll stand a little taller, and you'll reach the top just as the second chorus starts."
We then walked the rest of the way up to the top of the stairs. I finally understood what Jonothon was trying to accomplish, and I really liked the idea for this video! This definitely had a bigger message than 'Ever After' would have been able to give! It was a statement, just like the song itself.
When we reached the top, I saw that I would be facing the small stage that had been built on the roof. The roof itself wasn't very big, and it would only take me five or so steps to reach the area that my microphone would likely be set up. For now, the roof was empty.
"At the end of the second verse, when the song slows to repeat your realization, you'll quickly take off the outer layer of your clothes to reveal an outfit that is more fitting for 'Sarah Carerra'." Jonothon continued his explanation of what he wanted. "Then you will step onto the stage, where your band will already be playing. When the chorus starts up again, you will sing the rest of the song with them and we'll finish up the video."
Jonothon had a huge smile on his face as he finished his description. It took me a couple of seconds for me to realize that I had the same smile on my own face. This was going to be brilliant!
"I love it!" I told him! I didn't think that his smile could become any wider, but it did at my words.
He nodded in reply, before motioning to the empty roof. "We'll be shooting the roof scenes tomorrow. Today we'll be on the stairs with the tomatoes. If you're ready, let's get you to hair and makeup."
I nodded to him, and we started back down the stairs. The thought of being hit by the tomatoes didn't sound like fun, but I wanted to make this video.
An hour and a half later I was standing on the street at the spot that the director wanted to start the video from. I was wearing a tan khaki skirt, a short-sleeved white button-up blouse, and a pair of sensible flats adorned my feet and covered the bottom of the white, knee-length stockings. A silver chain wrapped around my neck, a matching bracelet rested on my right wrist, and a pair of small silver hoops hung from my ears.
In short, I looked like a school girl. Jonothon wanted me to appear young and innocent before I stepped onto the stairs, and Julia had done a masterful job to comply. The only thing that made me stand out from something that I might wear to school was the makeup that Stephanie had applied. My signature dark eyes and pink lips still adorned my face when I had stepped out of the tent to begin shooting.
"Action!" Jonothon yelled, and I took a step forward. I took a total of five steps before I reached the sign pointing down the alley. I could hear the cameras behind me as I ran my fingers over the top of the sign while turning to walk down the alley. When I was two steps into the alley, Jonothon yelled, "Cut!"
It was the fourth time we had filmed the short scene.
When I arrived at the set this morning, I never expected that it would be so exact. Unlike the photo shoots I had been on, everything had to be perfect or Jonothon wanted us to do it over. Luckily, this time he was happy and we moved on to the next scene.
"Action!" I heard again after Jonothon had given me some instructions. I stepped forward again, into view of where the cameras would be filming most of the video from the parking lot behind the gray building. Once I reached the sign pointing up the stairs, my hand caressed it.
'You Can't Hurt Me' was playing in the small ear piece that had been placed in my right ear. Since the cameras were to my left, and my hair did a good job of covering it anyway, it wouldn't be seen. I followed Jonothon's instructions and walked at what I hoped was the right pace over to the stairs.
I placed my foot on the first step. Then the second step. I knew that I had blown the take when I cringed before the first tomato hit me. When it finally came, I was surprised at how little I could feel it. I felt the cold water more than I felt the impact of the balloon.
"Cut!" Jonothon called. I grimaced immediately. The scene was supposed to continue in one take from the bottom of the steps all the way to the small landing in the middle of the stairs.
"I'm sorry," I yelled immediately in Jonothon's direction. He didn’t become mad when we had to reshoot a scene, but that didn't make me feel any better when I made a mistake.
He was chuckling as he approached me, though. That was enough to raise my own spirits. "It’s okay, Sarah," he said. "I didn't expect you to get it on the first try. Besides, I knew that you would cringe until you felt the first hit. Now you know what it's like."
"But what about..." I was worried about having red all over me for subsequent takes, but when I looked down, all I saw was a wet spot where the balloon had hit.
Jonothon chuckled again. "We will practice with these clear water balloons until you know what we want. Then we'll have you change and shoot it for real, okay?"
I nodded. It seemed like a good way to handle shooting something that would add color to my clothing. It certainly beat trying to clean the clothes or change after every take.
It took us 10 tries before Jonothon was happy with what I was giving him. I was soaked by then, but a quick sojourn back to the dressing tent had me in a clean, dry, identical outfit.
"Action!" Jonothon yelled once again, and I stepped forward one last time. I had followed his instructions enough times by that point that I was able to move up the stairs, giving both him and the cameras the emotional looks that he wanted. By the time I collapsed to my knees on the small landing, I knew that it had been a good performance.
"Cut!" he yelled. "Sarah! That was perfect!"
I was smiling widely as I stood back up and walked back down the stairs. Several people gave me high fives as I walked back to the dressing tent to take off the outfit now stained in red. They would want to use it for the second half of the stairs, so I wouldn't be wearing it while being hit by practice balloons.
We repeated the same steps on the upper half of the stairs, which ended with me taking the step onto the top stair. There would be a shot tomorrow that would pan from me facing the camera at the top of the stairs to include the stage and the band in front of me as I turned toward them. But without the band, we couldn't do that part.
Instead, I climbed back down the stairs and headed for the dressing tent again. The outfit I was wearing was a prized commodity until we finished shooting. We didn't want the stains changing between cuts, and it would be stored safely away for the final scenes that we would be filming in the morning.
When I stepped out of the alleyway, I was surprised to hear people start clapping! I looked over at the noise and noticed that there was a decent crowd gathered to see what was going on. Few, if any, of them would have been able to see down the alleyway, but I knew they would have been able to hear Jonothon’s loud praises.
I gave the crowd a wave and then ducked into the tent. I would have to make an appearance and sign some autographs for them, but I needed to get out of my clothes first.
"Who would have thought such drab clothes would be so important," Julia said once I was inside and out of sight of the crowd. I laughed at her words. The outfit was sort of dull. Only her small embellishments made it worth wearing in the video.
"What will I be wearing tomorrow?" I asked. She hadn't been too forthcoming with that knowledge yet.
"Can't tell you," she grinned wickedly. "It's a secret."
I laughed again and shook my head. Whatever she had planned, it was going to be great. I quickly undressed and handed the outfit to Julia for safekeeping. Once I was redressed in my own clothes, I stepped back outside to face the fans.
We were filming in a business district that catered to offices rather than to stores. As a result, the crowd was mostly comprised of adults dressed in business suits or slacks and polo shirts. I didn't see a single kid in sight as I signed some of the papers that they placed in front of me.
Fifteen minutes later, the crowd had dispersed and I climbed into Dad's car. Running up and down those stairs all day had exhausted me, and I found my eyes drifting closed once again as my dad merged onto the freeway.
I awoke in my bed back at home. I didn’t know how long I had been asleep, but it had been long enough for somebody to remove my wig and put me in some pajamas. The sun was still shining outside, though.
A quick glance at my alarm clock told me that it was 7:30. We had finished shooting around 4:00 in the afternoon, so I had slept for nearly three hours.
I climbed out of bed. I wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon, that was for sure. I was also pretty stiff. The exhaustion I had felt didn't seem like the same thing I had been struggling with since my operation. It was more like what I'd used to feel after a good workout. That gave me hope that I had most of my energy back.
I slightly hobbled down the hall to where I could hear voices in the kitchen. With each step the pain lessened a bit, but I knew I was going to be sore tomorrow. I found my parents eating dinner in the dining room. They looked up when they saw me come in and both of them smiled.
"How are you feeling?" Mom asked me. I was certain she was the one who had dressed me in my pajamas after Dad had carried me in from the car. I felt embarrassed at that thought. I was sixteen, but that sounded more like something that my parents would do for a little child.
"I'm sore," I replied truthfully while grabbing a plate and loading it with the pasta that they were already eating. They didn't say anything else until I had filled my plate, grabbed a drink, and sat down next to them.
"Are we pushing you too hard?" Dad asked before I could take a bite. I could hear the concern in his voice. The look on my mom's face told me that she was just as worried.
"No," I replied. "I was exhausted, but it was because of all the exercise I got going up and down those stairs, not because of the operation."
I took a bite.
"Are you sure?" Mom prompted. I nodded while I chewed. I knew they were worried about me, but I also knew that I was okay. Today had been a lot of exercise, but I didn't feel like I had overstretched myself. I just felt like I'd spent the whole day at the gym.
"Well, if you're sure…," Dad said. I had to nod again. If I had to reassure them one more time... "I do have some exciting information for you then," he continued.
I perked up at that. "What?" I asked.
"We finalized your concert schedule," he replied. The smile that spread across his face prompted one of my own. "Tickets go on sale Friday."
"Really?" I asked excitedly! I knew they were working on it, but I hadn't heard anything about where they wanted me to go other than here in LA and one in New York.
"Yes," he replied and stood up. "Let me get a copy for you."
I tried to take another bite while I watched him walk out of the room toward his office, but it was hard to do. When he came back, I quickly snatched the paper he was holding out to me and started to scan the words.
California, Indiana, New York - I was going on a cross-country trip! Then I noticed something else.
"Some of these are after school starts," I said. It was a half-question, half-statement, but Dad just smiled as I continued to read through the list.
"You'll start with three concerts here in California," Dad explained, looking at a sheet of his own. "Then we'll be on the road for two weeks, stopping in Indiana and Ohio before spending about a week in New York City."
That alone was enough to get me excited! I'd always wanted to see New York, and now I was going to get the chance!
"Assuming that we take the Jive endorsement, you'll also have an appearance at its unveiling that week," Dad continued. "After school starts, we'll be doing weekend trips. Each concert will be on a Saturday and we'll fly out Friday night or Saturday morning. The Utah State Fair is the only exception, and that's because they actually called us instead of the other way around. After your concert in Salt Lake City, you became a big hit there."
I scanned the list of dates again. "Is the Montana concert just so you can see your brother again?"
Dad smirked, and I knew that I had hit on the truth. But it would be nice to have Madison at a concert.
Six of the thirteen concerts were at fairs, one was for a TV show, and six were in some sort of music hall, amphitheatre, or arena. In all, it looked like a very intense schedule, with the first seven concerts happening within a three-week timeframe. It looked like there would be time between each to recover, but that was still a lot of singing leading up to the start of school.
I had not realized that becoming a successful singer would take so much of my time, but it was very clear now that at least the last month of my summer vacation would be dedicated to the concert tour.
Thankfully, I found myself happy with that thought. The last month of my summer vacation would be doing what I loved best: singing on stage. I hoped that I wasn't going to overdose on the rush.
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"That's a wrap!" Jonothon finally called. I smiled. It had been a long, hot day, but I had no doubt that it was all worth it. This video was going to rock.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.18 - Fly Like an Angel by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: November 29, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.18 - Fly Like an Angel
I woke up in pain on Thursday. The only thing that kept me from trying to cancel the rest of the video shoot was the long, relaxing shower that I took. By the time I was dressed and ready to go, the hot water had relaxed me enough that the pain was bearable.
Then I somehow, even though I didn’t know how I did it, managed to convince Dad to let me drive. But as I pulled out of the driveway, I once again wished that I had somebody other than my dad going with me this morning.
I was happy that Emily had a summer job. It would really help her later in life. But it sucked not to have a friend to go with me to Sarah's commitments. Ethan could have come, but despite the fact that we were 'just friends' for now, our relationship was still strained. He still avoided me when Emily wasn't around. I hoped that we would overcome some of the awkwardness I had created, but it didn't seem to be abating yet.
The drive to the shoot was uneventful. I managed to keep Dad from yelling at me, but I think he was still nervous as we drove. He didn't say anything about my driving, though. If I did something he didn't like, I was pretty sure he would have told me about it.
As I pulled into the parking spot that they had reserved for me at the shoot, I noticed that there was already a small crowd formed around the cordoned off area where the trailers and tents used for the production were set up. Yesterday, I hadn't seen anyone other than adults hanging around, but it was apparent that word had spread. I could see a number of kids looking at my car excitedly as I opened the door and stepped out.
The small crowd started cheering when they saw me, and after locking my car I smiled and walked to where they were standing. It took me at least 15 minutes to sign autographs, take pictures, and greet the crowd before they were satisfied so that I could get to work for the day.
When Dad and I approached the area where Jonothon and his assistant Katrina were waiting for me, they smiled and stood up.
"Good morning, Sarah," Jonothon greeted me. "Are you ready to get to work?"
"Yes," I replied. I was worried that he might be mad at me for taking the time to greet the crowd, but his smile and calm demeanor told me that he was okay with it. He even had a sparkle in his eye that made me think he was happy that I had done it.
"Good," he broke the smile. "First, we'd like to perform a small sound check on the roof. It's highly unlikely that we will be using any audio from your performances today, but we'd still like to capture it anyway. There may be some things that will be useful."
"Okay," I replied. "Do you want me to change first?"
"No, Katrina will lead you up to the roof," Jonothon explained. "We'll let you and the band warm up, and then we'll let you change and start the shooting. Katrina?"
I turned my attention to his assistant, who smiled at me and then turned to walk toward the alley. I quickly caught up to her.
"It's an honor to be working with you," she said once we were no longer on the street. "I'm finishing my degree next semester, and I was lucky enough to get this internship with Jonothon."
"The pleasure is mine," I replied, even though I hadn't had very much contact with her during the filming to base that opinion on. The smile that broadened across her face told me that those were the right words, though.
"I'm a big fan, too," she continued after we had started up the steps. "I can't wait to see you in concert. I'll be down at the fairgrounds tomorrow morning to buy tickets."
I immediately began to laugh. Then I turned toward her. "Talk to my manager; I'm sure he'd be able to get you some tickets without having you wait in line."
"I don't know," she looked really eager for the opportunity, but she was reluctant to accept them for some reason. "I shouldn't."
"Why not?" I asked her, hiding the surprise that I had felt that she wouldn't want the tickets.
"I don't know how well Jonothon would take it if I accepted a gift from you," she said. She then frowned, and I knew she wanted the tickets. I decided that I would talk to Dad, so that he would give tickets to Katrina.
When we reached the top of the stairs, I found the band putting the finishing touches on their equipment while Sophie and Holly were sitting on the edge of the small stage, waiting for something to do.
"Hi, guys," I said as I approached. The girls looked relieved to see me, and I got a quick smile and "hello" from the guys before they went back to their equipment.
"I'm so glad you're here," Sophie said while standing up. "It's really hot and boring waiting for something to happen."
I laughed at her words. It was already shaping up to be a warm day. Yesterday’s temperature had been pleasant, but the temperature was forecast to be higher today. Hopefully we could get the shoot done quickly.
"Ready for a sound check?" Jason broke in before I could reply to her. I nodded, and we each took our places on the stage. I was happy to see that the microphone my dad had bought for me would be in the video. I grabbed the sleek, white handle and turned toward Jason.
"What did you have in mind?" I asked.
"As much as I'd like to play something else before we spend the rest of the day on one song, I think we should stick with 'You Can't Hurt Me'," he replied. I agreed and then closed my eyes, waiting for the song to start. While there wasn't an audience on the roof to watch us, I was confident the fans down below would be able to hear the song.
I sang through the song while the band played, giving those below the best performance that I could. They likely wouldn't stay for long once they realized they wouldn't be able to see anything we were doing, so I figured I'd give them a show and let them go on their way. Unfortunately, I found out about half way through the sound check that my assumption was wrong.
There were a few buildings around the one that we were performing on that were the same height or higher. It didn't take long for people to start to congregate on their own roofs, and I knew that we were going to be watched the entire day. Just as long as they stayed out of the way, I didn't have a problem with them watching.
Once the sound check was complete, Katrina walked me back down the stairs toward the dressing tent. There was another roar of approval when the crowd that was still gathered on the street saw me. I guessed they had liked the show. I quickly ducked into the tent after giving them a wave.
Julia was waiting for me again, and she had an excited smile across her face. "Good morning, Sarah," she greeted me.
"Good morning, Julia" I replied. Then I gasped at the dress that was hanging next to her. Her smile widened.
"Do you like it?" she asked.
"Most definitely!" was the only answer that I could give her. The dress was white, and appeared to be fitted through where my waist would be. The dress left most of my shoulders bare, with only a thin strip of the white satiny material holding it on over my shoulder. From the waist down, it had three layers of skirts that fell to about mid-thigh. But what really caught the eye, and I was certain Julia considered the "glam" was the thin feathery layer of fabric that sat on top of each skirt layer. I couldn't tell what it was made of, but it kept catching the light like a prism, causing the skirts to dance with a myriad of colors. It was like seeing a rainbow out of the corner of one’s eye. I knew I could see something, but if I looked at it carefully, all I might see was a silvery light overtop of the dress.
It was beautiful!
"Let me help you put it on," Julia broke into my thoughts. "It can be a little tricky."
I nodded, and started undressing. I was conscious of the fact that this was the first time that I had undressed in front of her since the first day she had come over to my house to teach me about "the rules" that dictated how I should dress as Sarah. But even more so now than at that time, I wasn't worried. I had nothing to hide from her. Even if she saw some of the bruising that was still healing between my legs, she knew that I'd had surgery. It was public knowledge now that I'd had a blockage during my period. She just didn't know the full extent.
If she did notice anything amiss, she didn't say anything about it. I did catch her glance down once I was down to my undies, but there wasn't anything to see. I was healing well, and the little discoloration that I still had was completely covered.
The dress felt as light as it looked when I slipped it on. It covered everything without being indecent, but it felt like I wasn't wearing anything at all. Julia finished the outfit by placing all of the accessories I had worn yesterday back into their proper positions on my body. They looked even better when complementing the dress. She finished the outfit off by slipping my feet into a pair of open toed pumps which left me hoping I'd make it up the stairs without breaking my neck.
Stephanie then got her hands on me. She was slightly peeved that Julia had thrust me into a white dress before I'd had my makeup done, but she covered me in a wrap that prevented any makeup from getting on the dress while she worked.
After they were done putting their finishing touches on me, I stepped in front of the mirror. I was immediately struck with the similarity between this outfit and the one that adorned my favorite poster of Sarah Carerra. The poster, which I had first seen in the mall that fateful day that Emily and Ethan had found out the truth about Sarah Carerra, had me in a white dress with a silver headband. The pose and the headband had combined to create an image that was almost angelic. This dress did nearly the same thing. I blew myself a kiss into the mirror before turning toward the exit of the tent.
Katrina had told me that we were first going to film the scenes of the band playing the song this morning, and then follow with the shots of me reaching the top of the stairs and joining the band. If all went according to plan, we would be done early today. If it didn't...well, we had tomorrow scheduled as an extra filming day. I knew that I was supposed to meet with 'The Jive' people sometime tomorrow, but that was likely flexible. I hoped we'd be done by the end of today.
When I stepped back out of the dressing tent, I was immediately reminded of the crowd that was watching from nearby. A few flashes caught my eye, and I could hear the clicks of more cameras as I smiled and gave them a pose before heading for the alley. Dad, Jonothon, and Katrina were all waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. I happily took my dad's outstretched arm and let him help me up the stairs. The stairs themselves had a small decorative design cut out of each step, and it took some fancy footwork to get me, and the thin heels, up to the top.
"Wow!" was the first word that came out of Sophie's mouth when she saw me. Unquestionably, this dress constituted one of the more elaborate outfits that Julia had gotten me into. If we weren't using the dress in a music video, it definitely would have worked up on stage.
Before anyone else could comment, Jonothon brought us together.
"Alright, everyone," he said. "Are you ready to get started?" After we all nodded our assent, he continued. "Each of you will have an earpiece that will be playing your recorded version of the song. We want to try to match that as exactly as possible to the video. Doing so will enable us to use the studio version."
That seemed to make sense. They'd want the video to sync with the music, but there was no way they'd want to use what they would record on the top of a roof for the video.
"Sarah, the girls and you don't have to lip-sync," he continued. "But please try to stick as closely as possible to what you were doing in the studio. You should be able to hear it in your ear pieces."
We all nodded. This was going to be harder than I thought.
"Let's give it a go," Jonothon said. "We'll practice a few times. Once you guys have it down, we can start filming, okay?"
So that's what we did. It was awkward at first. I hadn't realized how much I relied on the feedback that came through the ear piece I wore during my performances. It was unnerving having a completely different sound coming through my ears. All of us had difficulty adjusting to it. It took us about 10 times before we were able to get through the entire song. Every one of us stopped outright at least once.
Eventually we started to get into a rhythm. It helped that it had only been three days since we had recorded the song in the studio, and soon Jonothon called for a stop.
"Good job, everyone," he told us. "If we can do another one like that, we'll have what we are looking for. Take five minutes while we get the cameras set up."
I sighed in relief and took a step off the stage. I was going to sit down, but Julia was there quickly to prevent me from sitting on the edge of the stage in such a pristine white dress. Fortunately, she had a blanket with her and after draping it across the stage, she allowed me to sit. Stephanie and a few other makeup people were there next to make sure that we were still looking good for the cameras.
In no time at all, and long before I was ready, Jonothon told us it was time to start again. I sighed, but stood back up and let Julia fiddle with the dress for a bit before stepping back in front of the microphone.
It took another two hours to satisfy Jonothon. From the word go we tried to give him a performance worthy of a music video, and I thought we sounded as close as we could to the recorded version of the song. But there was always something that Jonothon wanted us to work on. They'd film us doing one take, and then he'd have us adjust something and they'd film it all over again. By the time he was happy I thought for sure they would have had enough takes to piece together a perfect performance.
The day had started to become very warm, and I was very glad for the opportunity to duck into the shade that the dressing tent provided me. Julia was already waiting for me, and I noticed that yesterday’s outfit had been set out again.
The only thing left to film for the music video was the scene where I reached the top of the stairs and joined the band on stage. That scene included a change of outfit on screen. I was supposed to take off the school girl outfit to reveal the dress I was wearing. I think it was meant to signal the transformation between a beaten, scared normal girl and the confident young star that I had become.
I was not thrilled about donning another layer with the heat of the day. But I knew I didn't have another choice. Julia helped me get into the extra layer and showed me how to take it off quickly without damaging either outfit. Eventually, I had everything on, and I was ready to get back to work.
Going up the stairs the second time was much easier wearing the flats I had worn the day before. I was supposed to don the heels when I reached the stage, but until then, things would be easier.
Once I reached the roof, I noticed that everything had been cleared off. The only things left were the stage and the band’s equipment. The only people milling about were the band and Jonothon and Katrina. It looked like it was ready for filming.
"Okay, Sarah," Jonothon said to me. "I want you to start on the second to last step there, and then walk up to the top. A small camera will be waiting for you mounted to a small remote control helicopter that will be flying slightly above you. I want you to look straight at it, smile, and then turn toward the band, walk over to them, and then join them on stage to sing the end of the song, okay?"
"Okay," I replied.
"For this first attempt, don't worry about the clothes. Once we get the movements down we'll work on walking over while taking off the clothes, okay?"
I nodded again.
We tried that for another half hour, while he critiqued my movements until I was following the motions that he wanted me to follow. Then we turned to removing the clothes. They rolled out a couple of mats for the first few attempts, so that I wouldn't drop the clothes onto the dirt and grime of the roof.
Once I became proficient at removing the clothes while walking toward the band, we started filming. The band would start playing at about the end of the second verse, and I'd take the last step up the stairs, look at the camera with a victorious smile, and then turn to walk toward the band. The school clothes had been designed to be removed easily, and it didn't take much to get them off. I'd lose an article here and there and dump it on the ground as I walked toward the stage.
On the stage, right in front of my microphone, the silver pumps were waiting for me. I'd take the step up, stand in front of the microphone, kick the flats off both my feet and the stage at the same time, slip my feet into the pumps, grab the microphone, and start singing with the band.
I had less than 20 seconds to complete the whole trek from the stairs to when I was supposed to be singing. But even with the quick pace, Jonothon thought that it was going to look spectacular. I hoped he was right.
It took us about 10 takes before Jonothon was satisfied with what we had given him; it was much less than I thought we would need, but much more than I had hoped. Taking clothes off and putting them on again became tedious really fast. But I thought that the concept was really cool, and I couldn't wait to see how it would turn out on film.
"That's a wrap!" Jonothon finally called. I smiled. It had been a long, hot day, but I had no doubt that it was all worth it. This video was going to rock.
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I'd spent the whole week living Sarah's life alone when I had a perfectly good friend sitting at home bored out of his mind. I was going to get Ethan off his parents' couch and into my car if it was the last thing I did. Calling him wasn't going to get me anywhere; he probably wouldn't answer anyway. But he couldn’t really ignore it when a #1 recording artist was ringing his doorbell.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.19 - The Jive by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: December 6, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.19 - The Jive
The next morning, I found myself standing in Sarah's closet once again. I'd been spending so much time as Sarah lately, that I had almost forgotten what my own closet looked like. I knew that we were packing a lot of Sarah time into this summer to help promote my career, but there were times I wished I could take a break and just learn how to be myself. I've been doing the Sarah thing nearly as long as I've been doing the Megan thing. I really, really wanted some time to get to know myself without the need to worry about how to be Sarah too. I almost wished that school would start so that I'd have more Megan time.
I berated myself instantly. Nobody wanted school to start! This summer was going by fast enough without jinxing myself like that! Before I knew it, I'd be sitting at my desk in Mrs. Carson's class wishing that I was on stage.
At least I had the weekend to look forward to - two glorious days of nothing but Megan. Sure, I'd have to contend with Mom's family, but they had taken the news pretty well at Aunt Judy's party. And I had Tracy and Katy on my side. Everything would turn out all right and we'd have lots of fun. We always did when we got together with the rest of the family.
But I still had one more appointment I had to keep as Sarah before I could take off the wig and enjoy myself. The Jive marketing people were supposed to be giving me a demonstration at Dad's office just before lunch. I'd also be receiving my own Jive to use if we accepted the deal. Sarah Carerra wouldn't be using her iPod anymore if she was endorsing the Jive. The thought of using something other than my iPod was just plain weird. I'd had an iPod of some sort since I was 11.
I quickly chose an outfit and started getting ready for the day. Dad had already left for his office, where he would meet me later after I drove down. Dad's offices were near our beach instead of being located in downtown Los Angeles. Most of his clients lived in the area, and it made for a shorter commute if they ever had to go to his office. Perhaps that was why he felt okay about letting me drive myself, because it was close to home.
I decided that I wasn't going to go alone when I started putting on my makeup. I'd spent the whole week living Sarah's life alone when I had a perfectly good friend sitting at home bored out of his mind. Emily had to work, but I vowed that I was going to get Ethan off his parents' couch and into my car if it was the last thing I did. I missed him, and that ended today.
When I stepped out of Sarah's room, I knew exactly what I needed to do. Calling him wasn't going to get me anywhere; he probably wouldn't answer anyway. But he couldn’t really ignore it when a #1 recording artist was ringing his doorbell. I knew for a fact that his little sister and his mother were at swimming lessons and his dad would be at work, so there shouldn't be anybody else there. It was a good plan.
"Hi, Austin," I said when I reached the end of the hall.
He was watching TV in the front room and didn't even look up. All I got from him was an uninterested "morning."
"Want to go down to Dad's office with me?" I asked him. "We're going to look at the Jive."
"No," he said. He seemed content to sit there and rot his brain for a while longer.
"Where's Mom?" I asked when it became apparent that he had no desire to join me.
"Aunt Judy picked her up a while ago," he replied. "I think they were going shopping."
"Oh, okay," I said. That sounded like fun. I hadn't had a chance to do much shopping with Mom since the first time she had taken me to the mall the day I had made the decision to live my life as Megan. I would have loved to have the chance to shop with her. But that wasn't in the cards today. Perhaps I could convince Ethan to swing by the mall for a while. "I'll be back after lunch if you want to go down to the beach or something," I told him. All I got was a shrug in return.
I headed for the garage and soon I had pulled out and was on my way down to Ethan's house. I pulled into his driveway, and looked around to see if anyone was nearby. I didn't see anyone, so I quickly got out and headed for the door. I rang the doorbell and stepped back to wait, nervously looking around. Many of the people on the block had seen me dressed as Sarah as Dad and I had come and gone. It was common knowledge on the street that Sarah was often at our house. But that didn't mean that I wanted to increase the chances of one of my neighbors coming up to talk to me. They might start to get suspicious if we started a conversation.
Thankfully, the door swung open quickly. The look on Ethan's face had me laughing instantly. He looked about as surprised to see me as I had been when I had kissed him.
"Hi," I said, trying to break the ice. He just stood there for a moment before he pulled the door open and stepped aside to let me in.
"What are you doing here?" he finally asked. "My mom and Cary could be home any minute."
I chuckled. He seemed to be worried, but I knew we were safe. "You know as well as I do that they won't be home for another hour. By that time we'll be long gone."
"Gone where?" he asked. He seemed hesitant as he considered the possibility of entering Sarah's world again. But that wasn't an option today.
"I've got a demonstration of a new MP3 player down at my dad's office," I told him. "And you're coming with me."
"No, I don't think so," he said immediately. Little did he know that an answer like that wasn't going to sway my mind!
"Well, I do," I said firmly. "Look, I know I goofed up at the concert. But that doesn't mean you have to avoid me. I'm not going to start making out with you, Ethan. We're just friends, and that means that we can still do things together. I know you've been sitting here bored all week. Emily told me she was sick of getting text messages from you while she was working. You need to get out of the house. Now go and get ready. We have to be there in half an hour."
He hovered on his feet, still holding onto the door handle. He was probably holding it because he had hoped that I would be leaving soon. I emphasized my point by walking to the small couch that was near the door and took a seat. I wasn't leaving until he was walking out the door with me.
Finally, he sighed and started walking toward the hall that would lead to his room. He didn't say anything. I knew he wasn't exactly happy about what I was doing, but I knew that it was something that I needed to do if we were going to get our friendship back on track.
Eventually, Ethan reappeared, dressed as Xander. I smiled at him and I was happy to see him smile back. That was the first sign that my plan might be working. We didn't say anything to each other as I led him back out to my car. But I saw his smile widen when he realized he'd finally get to ride in my car. I was just happy that I had gotten him out of the house. Anything else was just a bonus.
I pulled into the parking lot of Dad's office about 15 minutes later. It wasn't a long drive, but it seemed longer with the silence that had enveloped the two of us. I tried to start up a couple of conversations while we drove, but all I could pull out of Ethan were one syllable answers. I had really messed up this friendship.
It was with a small measure of relief that I stopped the car in one of the four parking stalls that my dad's company had reserved out front for clients. It felt nice to get some preferred treatment while visiting him here. Dad owned the company, and his employees were always nice to me when I was here with him, but there was always a feeling of intrusion when they talked to me.
Now that I was somewhat of a celebrity myself, I began to understand why. Dad had good employees. He, and in turn his company, had always prided themselves on providing their clients with privacy. I didn't know how many of his employees Dad had told about me. Knowing my dad, I hoped that none of his employees knew. Dad was in charge of all of my affairs, which meant that there probably weren't many who knew the truth about me. I just hoped that it stayed that way.
I walked to the front door with Ethan, or Xander, two steps behind me. I tried to wait for him to catch up to me, but he never did. I was starting to wonder what I needed to do to get my friend back. Everything I had tried so far hadn't seemed to make a difference.
Once we were inside the building things started to get weird for me. I knew most of Dad's employees. I'd spent enough time at his office over the years that I could remember each of their names. But some of them I knew pretty well.
Like Lucy. Lucy was the receptionist. She was one of the nicest ladies I'd ever met, and I'd spent many days with her in the reception area when I was younger, while I was waiting for Dad to finish a meeting before we could go down to the beach or whatever else was planned for the day. She was old, like in her fifties or something. But she was as kind to Austin and me as my mom was.
I had to catch myself when she looked up as we entered. I had almost greeted her by name, but Sarah had never met her. As a matter of fact, Megan hadn't met her either — only Brett had met Lucy. That last thought really depressed me. I hadn't been to Dad's office since my life had changed so drastically. I didn't doubt that she knew about Megan. Dad was only too happy to share that knowledge. However, I didn't know how much she knew about Sarah Carerra’s secret. She had been with Dad since the beginning, but that didn't mean he was going to tell her my secret.
The smile that spread across her face as I approached her desk told me that I didn't have anything to worry about, though. She did know who I was! The glint in her eye and the wink that she gave me only helped to reinforce that realization. I found myself smiling while quickly looking around the reception area. We were alone.
"Hi, Lucy," I said first. Her smile widened when I called her by name.
"Hi, Megan," she replied after her own glance around. "It's so nice to finally meet you. You are so beautiful!"
I felt myself blushing at her comment. I ached inside a bit every time someone new found out. But Lucy was someone I would never worry about leaking my secret. And to meet her like this for the first time, I was glad we didn't have that secret standing between us.
"Thank you," I replied. I wasn't sure what else to say, and she seemed to be staring at me like she couldn't believe her eyes. It was an awkward moment before I turned to see what had happened to Ethan. He was still standing by the door. I waved him forward. I wanted my friend back, but with the way he grudgingly stepped toward me, I wondered if it was worth all of this effort. He sure wasn't making it easy. Eventually, he made it next to me at the reception desk. "Lucy, this is one of my best friends, Xander."
She smiled at him. Neither Emily nor Ethan had ever come down to Dad's office with me, so there wasn't any way that she could make a connection with his real identity.
"Hello," Ethan said.
"It's nice to meet you," Lucy replied. Then she looked back at me. "Let me call your dad and let him know you are here."
"Okay," I replied. She picked up the phone, but before she got the chance to say anything, Dad appeared from the hallway that led to the offices.
"Oh good, you're here," he said and gave me a smile. Then he turned toward Ethan. "It's nice to see you again, Xander."
"Mr. Campbell," Ethan replied. He was a man of many words this morning. Not.
"Sarah, if you'll come on back, I'll introduce you to my team," Dad said to me. "The Jive guy should be here any minute."
I nodded, but I asked the question that I needed to have answered before I followed him. "How many people know?"
He didn't need any clarification about what I was asking. "Just Lucy," he said while glancing briefly at her. "I needed at least one person who could help me with confidential information, and I thought Lucy would be a good choice. Nobody else knows."
I nodded again, and he turned and started for the hallway. This time I followed after a small wave to Lucy.
Dad then walked me around his office, introducing me to the people whom I already knew. But it was completely different meeting them as a client. They were just as nice to me, but some of the concern they previously displayed when I was Brett wasn't there when I was Sarah.
Once I had been to each of the offices and Dad had introduced me, I found myself standing in front of 'The Wall'. I had spent a lot of time staring at 'The Wall' as a youngster. It was located in the small lounge that could be used by employees or clients for taking a break or waiting for an appointment. Small plaques adorned the entire area, each with a picture, a name, and a signature.
I'd stared at each and every one of them, amazed at some of the people whom my dad's company represented. And when he pointed out where my plaque had been placed, I smiled. Dad had been reserving a prominent area for a 'special' artist for as long as I could remember. He said that some day he would represent somebody whom he was so proud of that they would have the honor of having her or his picture displayed there.
That's where I found my plaque.
I felt tears start to creep into my eyes, and I sniffed quickly to hold them back. We were alone in the lounge except for Ethan, and before I knew it Dad had his arms wrapped around me. That made it even more difficult to keep the tears from spilling out.
"I'm so proud of you, Princess," he said quietly. I sobbed, but tried in vain to hold the tears back. I didn't want to have to fix my makeup.
I was lost for words for a moment. Eventually, my dad released me, and then handed me a permanent marker. I smiled at him, stepped over to the plaque, and signed my name.
I had to use the bathroom to fix my makeup before joining my dad and Ethan in the conference room. When I finally arrived, I found Dad, Ethan, and another guy sitting around the table.
"There she is," Dad said with a big smile. All three of them stood up, making me blush slightly. "Sarah, this is Michael Stott from the company that makes the Jive."
The man to whom he was pointing wasn't much younger than my dad, perhaps in his early thirties. He had blonde hair and a grin on his face that instantly put me at ease. He was dressed in a nice pair of tan slacks and a navy blue polo shirt.
"It's nice to meet you, Michael," I said while taking the hand that he had proffered to me.
"The pleasure is mine, Ms. Carerra," he replied. He had a firm handshake.
"Sarah, please," I corrected him. I always thought that Ms. Carerra made me sound old.
"Have a seat," Dad said and pointed to a chair between Ethan and himself. I noticed that Michael had been sitting in a chair on the other side of the table. I nodded and walked around to my chair and sat down. The guys did the same.
Michael didn't waste any time before starting his presentation. "We're honored that you are considering our offer, Sarah. I have a Jive here today that we want to present to you. It is yours to keep whether you endorse us or not."
He handed me a box about the size of a book. Emblazoned clearly on the front was the word 'Jive' followed by a picture of the device I had first seen on the endorsement papers. I happily accepted it from him. I wanted to open it up and start playing with it, but he had other ideas. Instead, he took fifteen minutes to show me how the Jive worked using another demo model that he had brought with him. I truly was impressed. It would be weird not using my iPod anymore, but I really liked what I was seeing.
After showing me what the device could do, he started talking to me about what they expected of me if I accepted the contract. Obviously, I was asked to use the device instead of any other music player. That condition would be easy to meet. It was the photo shoot and the commercial that they wanted to shoot in less than two weeks from now that made me cringe. I had spent the last two weeks in front of cameras and recording equipment getting ready for the album and the new music video. I knew that I was going to be in front of the camera again on Tuesday for the makeup endorsement. And sometime in the near future I would also be doing a photo shoot for the perfume I'd be endorsing if the meeting we had on Monday went well. That was a lot of time in front of the camera, and I was starting to wish that I could pull back from Sarah's life for a while. I needed a break. I hoped that this weekend would be enough.
In the end, though, I was ready to take the endorsement deal. The Jive appeared to be a cool device, and I was truly impressed with some of its features. However, Michael wanted me to take it home and use it over the weekend before making a final decision. Even though he was making me wait to give him my answer, I knew he felt confident I was going to say yes.
After Michael had left, I said goodbye to Dad and dragged Ethan back to my car. I'd had high hopes at the beginning of the day of reconciling our friendship. But at nearly every turn, Ethan tried to push me away instead of working to become closer. I had a feeling he was still struggling with his feelings about me, and I didn't know how to help him. I had my own issues to deal with when it came to him.
I was relieved after I dropped him off at his house and then drove home. I was going to need some help to get him out of his funk. I could see the friend I had known most of my life in his eyes. I knew he still wanted to be my friend. I wished there was something I could do to help him realize that we didn't have to be boyfriend/girlfriend in this relationship. I was fine just being his friend.
As I stepped into my house, I sighed. I'd wanted to go to the mall and see Emily and perhaps do some shopping. But I had failed to talk Ethan into going with me. Instead, I had a long afternoon and evening ahead of me with no plans to keep me occupied.
At least I had my new Jive to play with.
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I smiled when I stepped into my own closet to get ready for the day. No glam outfits, no wigs, no Sarah for the whole weekend. I smiled at the opportunity to just be myself.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.20 - Beach Party by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: December 13, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.20 - Beach Party
I was happy when I awakened Saturday morning. The previous afternoon and evening had been boring because I had no friend to hang out with. I thought about driving down to the mall myself, but I couldn't muster the desire to shop alone. I spent most of the day playing with my Jive and watching TV with Austin. My boredom was definitely a step down from all the Sarah Carerra appointments I'd had throughout the week, but I needed the break.
I smiled when I stepped into my own closet to get ready for the day. No glam outfits, no wigs, no Sarah for the whole weekend. I smiled at the opportunity to just be myself.
We were heading up to Gran’s and Grandaddy's house just after lunch to spend time with the rest of the family. That meant that I had time to see my therapist Mary this morning.
Once I was dressed and had eaten breakfast, I drove my car to her office. She was waiting for me as I stepped into her reception area, and I was ushered quickly into her office.
We spent most of the session talking about one thing: Ethan. The events of yesterday had shown me just how big the rift in our friendship was. Mary was always a good person to vent to, and today had been no exception. She let me rant and rave for a few minutes before she turned the conversation to what I could do to improve our relationship. In essence, the only thing I could really do was to give him time.
Like me, Mary thought that Ethan still wanted to be my friend. But I had changed so drastically over the summer that he didn't know how to relate to me anymore. Until he figured that out, I was going to have to give him some space. The last thing I would want to do is get pushy and drive him away.
I left Mary's office much happier than I had arrived. I had reconciled myself to the changes I had gone through. I knew deep down inside who I was. But all of this had probably come as a shock to Ethan. He was still trying to come to terms with my new identity.
When I arrived back home, I was more than happy to start getting ready for a day at the beach. I put on my new bathing suit before covering myself with a light sun dress and then I grabbed a towel, my suntan lotion, and a few other things that I would need and placed them in my beach bag. Then I headed to the kitchen to eat lunch.
Everyone else was already sitting at the table eating a sandwich, and I smiled when Mom pointed to an empty seat that already had a plate sitting there.
"Are you ready to go?" she asked me while I sat down.
I nodded as I ate my sandwich. It was nice to sit down and eat lunch with my family. The last couple of weeks had been so busy with Sarah that by the time I got home I'd be so tired that I'd head for bed or mumble my way through dinner. But today we got a chance to talk and reconnect a bit before we piled into Dad's car and headed for Grandaddy's house.
I'd told Josh Holliday earlier this summer that Sarah Carerra lived in Malibu. I really liked the area and I'd love to live out there. Of course, if I had a house like my grandparents, I'd like it anywhere.
As we pulled up to their beach-front property, I noticed that most of the family had already arrived. Aunt Judy's van was there, so I knew I at least had Katy to hang out with.
Mom had, of course, made some food for the family to munch on during the afternoon. Unlike Aunt Judy's party, I was thrown into service carrying the food inside with Mom while I watched Dad and Austin walk around the side of the house to the beach beyond.
I obediently carried my pan of brownies through the house to the kitchen with my mom leading the way. There were a few family members in the front room watching TV, but it looked like the majority of them were already out back. But there were plenty of women in the kitchen talking and making some snacks.
"Hi, Linda," Aunt Judy said when she saw my mom enter the room. When she saw me, she smiled even wider. "Hi, Megan. How are you feeling?"
Most of my family were aware that I'd had surgery, and I believed most of them even knew what that surgery entailed. I had talked to many of them when they called or had visited after I left the hospital, but this was the first time I would see and talk to most of them since Aunt Judy's party.
"Hi, Aunt Judy," I replied with a smile while I placed the pan of brownies on the counter. "I'm doing really well. It's been a tough few weeks, but I'm pretty much fully recovered now."
I knew that Aunt Judy had been asking about more than just my surgery. She was one of the few extended family members on Mom's side who knew I was Sarah Carerra. I also knew that she had seen the press conference, and I knew Mom would have confided in her closest sister with what I was going through. Aunt Judy nodded in thanks that I had answered her unasked question. There were too many people in the kitchen who didn't know about my alternate identity to talk openly.
"Where's Katy?" I asked my aunt. I already knew that I would be spending most of the afternoon with her.
"I think she is changing in one of the bedrooms," her mom told me. I nodded and then started toward the hallway to find her.
"Katy?" I called when I reached the vicinity of the many guest rooms that were in Grandaddy's house.
"In here," came a muffled response. I was fairly certain I knew which room she was in and opened the door.
"Close the door!" she screamed at me. Obviously, she hadn't expected me to come in.
"Sorry," I said and quickly stepped into the room and closed the door to hide her nakedness from anyone else who might have been walking down the hall. I turned back to her. She was staring at me like she couldn't believe I was standing there. At that moment I realized that despite the fact I knew I was female it was still a new concept for most of my family.
It took Katy a moment, but she finally seemed to regain her composure and realize that I was just as female as she was. I was nearly certain that she knew about the surgery, at least. "Sorry," I said again.
"No, it's my fault," she said while dropping her arms from where she was covering herself and reached for the top of her bathing suit. "I guess I'm still getting used to the new you."
"I understand," I replied. It hurt to have my past slam me like it just had, but it was something that would take time for my family to get over.
I placed my beach tote on the bed and started pulling my dress off to help her feel more comfortable. By the time I had the dress off and laid it out on the bed, Katy had finished pulling on her top and was staring at me.
"I guess I had no reason to worry, huh?" she asked me with a slight giggle. I laughed back at her.
"No, you didn't. I've got everything you have now."
"I can't believe you're really a girl," she stated. "I mean, after all these years, I can't believe it!"
"I know," I replied while pulling out some suntan lotion. "Even I never realized it."
I squirted a bunch of the lotion into my hand and then held the bottle out for Katy. She smiled and took it from me.
"Where did you get that bikini?" she asked me while squirting some of the lotion into her own hand and then dropping the bottle on the bed.
"Bloomies," I replied while spreading the lotion around my body. She choked for a second before she could speak again.
"Are you serious?" she exclaimed. I smiled. I knew it was a good idea to get Julia involved in getting me a new bathing suit.
"Yeah," I replied matter-of-factly. I knew that my tone would make her jealous.
"You are so lucky," was her only reply. She stared at me some more while we finished applying the lotion. I could only smile back.
"Come on," Katy said when we were done. "I want you to freak my brother out."
I laughed again as I grabbed my bag and followed her to the door. Derek, Katy's brother, was a year older than me. Until I had started living as Megan, we had always hung out together when the family got together. But he hadn't taken the changes in my life too well. He would definitely freak when he saw me.
We stepped out into the hallway laughing together only to find my grandmother walking our way. She looked shocked when she saw us.
"Hi, Gran," I said and Katy followed suit.
"Hi, girls," Gran finally managed. "You two look beautiful."
I felt myself blushing at her words. Gran had been one of the most supportive family members in my life. Learning who I truly was hadn't changed that at all. She walked up to me and gave me a hug before doing the same to Katy.
"You two go have some fun," she told us before continuing down the hall toward her room. We continued our own journey back toward the kitchen and the door to the beach.
Many of the women were still in the kitchen when we entered. The conversation seemed to stop when they saw me, but nobody said anything as we walked through and into the dining room and out the sliding glass door that led to a small back yard and the gate that led onto the beach. I knew they would be bombarding my mom with questions, and I was more than grateful to have her answer them instead of me.
Perfect beach weather greeted us outside. It wasn't too hot today, and there was a small breeze that cooled off my skin as we walked out into the sand toward some of the lounge chairs that had been moved from Grandaddy's backyard out onto the beach.
"Hi, Tracy," I said when I set my bag down on one of lounge chairs closest to the house, and next to her. She looked up from where she had been sunbathing. Heather was asleep in her car seat in the shade of a small umbrella next to her.
"Hi, Megan," she replied as her eyes scanned my body. "I guess you weren't lying at lunch the other day, huh?"
"No," I laughed lightly. "I definitely wasn't."
I pulled my towel out of my beach bag and started spreading it out on the lounge chair. I saw Derek and Kyle, one of my other cousins, out in the water. They hadn't noticed me yet.
"Don't you just love her bathing suit?" Katy asked Tracy. That elicited another look at me from our older cousin. "She got it at Bloomingdales!"
Tracy raised her eyebrows at me. I laughed again. She must have known that I was trying to make an impression.
"I guess all that babysitting paid off, huh?" I said. That got Tracy laughing and a confused look appeared on Katy's face.
I wasn't quite sure how to explain our inside joke to Katy, but I was saved from having to try by a loud wolf whistle from behind me. I had been standing with my back to the water as I smoothed my towel out on the lounge chair, but I turned around to see what was going on.
Both Derek and Kyle were walking toward us. It was Derek who probably had whistled. Unfortunately, as he got a glimpse of my face, his expression changed. I expected him to be angry with me, like he had been at Aunt Judy's party. Instead, he looked like he was going to be sick. Then he promptly vomited all over the beach.
Katy, Tracy, and I all made the appropriate disgusted sounds to accompany how we were feeling, but I also felt a pang of sadness that I had the ability to disgust my cousin that easily just by him seeing me. It was quite obvious that he hadn't recognized me. I knew how different I looked in my bikini. He must have had some strong feelings of lust to elicit a reaction like that to finding out he was staring at his cousin.
Kyle seemed to have a similar reaction. He didn't throw up, but he looked slightly forlorn at me before his face scrunched up in disgust too. Kyle had shown a definite attraction to me the last time I had seen him, and it looked like he still harbored some of those feelings.
"Are you okay?" I asked Derek while taking a step forward. I didn't want to get anywhere near what he had expelled, but I also didn't want to see him suffer at all. He was a good kid, even if some of his attitudes needed adjusting.
"Get away from me, you freak!" he screamed before he started to dry heave again. I instinctively took a step backward. His yelling attracted the attention of most of the other family members lounging around on the beach or in the water, and I saw both his dad and mine rushing over to where we were.
"Derek!" Uncle John exclaimed when he got closer. "What happened?"
Derek was still trying to regain his composure, so his sister answered for him.
"I think Derek thought that Megan was one of my friends," Katy said. "He didn't take it too well when he found out who she really was." She pointed to the puddle on the ground, and I saw her dad grimace when he realized what it was.
"Go get cleaned up," Uncle John told Derek. He clearly was displeased at his son's reaction. "I'll take care of this."
I watched as Derek nodded before walking past me toward the house. Kyle wasn't far behind him.
"Are you okay?" Uncle John asked me next. I was surprised to hear such caring in his voice. I nodded silently to him, and he headed toward the house too.
Tracy was the first one to laugh. Katy and I weren't far behind. Even Dad was laughing and shaking his head. He caught my eyes with his own, and I could see the frustration that was there.
"I'm okay, Dad," I said. I knew he was worried about how my cousin's reaction had affected me. I wasn't pleased at Derek's inability to come to terms with what had happened to me, but I didn't take it personally. I knew that not everyone was going to accept me as easily as most of them had. This was the exact reason why I was scared to go back to school this fall.
Dad looked at me for a few moments, trying to determine if I was telling him the truth. I smiled at him, which seemed to help him make up his mind. "Okay, Princess," he replied. Then he too headed for the house.
I sighed and collapsed onto the lounge chair. This spot wasn't nearly as nice as it had been a few minutes ago, but I really didn't have the energy to move.
"Did that freak him out enough for you?" I asked Katy, causing her to burst into laughter again. We sat there for a few minutes laughing over Derek's reaction. Uncle John came back out with a shovel and a bucket and scooped up the contaminated sand before heading back toward the house, probably to dump it into the garbage. A few of my other female cousins came to where we were sitting to say hi and find out what had happened.
By the time we had finished recounting Derek's escapades, it became obvious to me that I had been accepted into their fold. If any of them had reservations about me beforehand, I think their seeing me in a bikini was enough to convince them that I truly was a member of the fairer side of the family. I learned more about some of my cousins while we talked than I had in my entire lifetime.
At least most of Mom's family accepted me for who I truly was.
The rest of the afternoon and evening went a lot better. Derek and Kyle avoided me, and I was happy to avoid them. I spent some time in the water, and I also spent a lot of time hanging out with the other girls while we sunbathed or talked. This was a whole different side to the family that I wasn't used to experiencing, but almost immediately I felt more involved with them than I ever had with the guys earlier in my life.
By the time we were ready to go home, I had almost forgotten how bad Derek had made me feel. I believed that Derek was experiencing much of what Ethan was trying to come to terms with. He just had a lower level of tolerance to my changes. I did not know what, if anything, I could do to help alleviate the anger and disgust that Derek felt when he was around me, but I knew I'd have to do something if I was going to remain a member of this family. And that was pretty much a given.
When I went back inside to get my dress after Mom had told me we were getting ready to go, I met Derek in the hallway. He was coming out of the bathroom while I was heading for the spare bedroom that Katy and I had changed in.
"Hi," I said, hoping that he wouldn't get angry again.
"Hi," he said back. I was surprised to see that he didn't seem quite so angry or disgusted with me. He didn't try to get past me, instead standing there waiting for me to say something.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked him, hoping the answer would be yes.
He sighed, but nodded his head. I didn't know what had changed since our encounter on the beach, but something definitely had occurred. I pointed to the room where my dress was, and he nodded before following me inside. I figured that standing there in my bikini wouldn't help this discussion, so I quickly grabbed the dress and threw it over my head. When I turned back to the door, I found him sitting on the chair just inside the room. I sat down on the bed.
"I'm sorry, Derek," I started. "I know that this isn't easy for you. But this is who I am now. We're too good of friends to fight like this."
He sighed again. It was obvious that he didn't want to have this conversation, but he seemed to realize that we needed to have it. "I know," he said. "My dad made that clear earlier this afternoon."
So someone had talked to him already. Whatever Uncle John had told him, it must have helped. I never thought that he would be sitting this close to me without being disgusted.
"What I can't understand," Derek continued. "Is why you let this happen, Brett! You're a boy! How can you all of a sudden be okay with being a girl?"
I winced at his use of my old name! That name didn't describe me anymore. It felt as foreign to me as if someone had told me my name was Rumpelstiltskin. But his words led me to understand part of what he was feeling.
"How much do you know about what happened to me?" I asked him. I had a feeling part of the problem was that he didn't have all of the information.
"I know that you feel like you are supposed to be a girl for some reason," he replied. Then he pointed down toward my legs. "And I know that you've had the...the surgery." He started to blush at his answer. "I just don't know why you feel that way. What could make you think that you should be a girl?"
I looked up at his face. There was still a slight look of disgust in there, but I could see the cousin I had grown up playing with now. However, most of what I saw was confusion.
"Derek," I said and made sure that he was looking me in the eyes. "I feel like I'm supposed to be a girl because I am a girl." He started to protest, but I raised my hand and he stopped to let me finish. "I've been a girl ever since I was born. The accident I had when I was 10, that didn't make me a girl. It didn't take away from me a part of what made me a boy, either. I have all the..." I started blushing now. "All of the insides that a girl has. I've always had them. What I had on the outside before wasn't real. The doctors don't know why I looked like a boy, but down at the genetic level, I have two X chromosomes."
At first he looked at me with a sneer of disgust while he digested that information. Then a light started to shine on his face. He had never been told the true extent of my condition. Learning the truth seemed to give him some of the understanding that he had been looking for.
"You're a real girl?" he finally asked.
I nodded at him. "I am. This may sound gross, but I've already had one period, and someday I'll likely become pregnant and have a family of my own."
His disgust grew immediately as I described my future, but I knew it would help to hammer home my point.
"Megan, are you ready to go?" I heard my dad call from down the hall.
"I'll be right there," I yelled back. I looked over at Derek. "Are you okay?" I asked.
He nodded. I knew that he had a lot to think about now, but I hoped that he would understand why I was doing this. I hoped that he would finally see me for who I really was.
"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I asked him. He nodded again. I smiled at him as I stood up and grabbed my beach bag. We didn't say anything else to each other as I walked out of the room, but I knew I had done the right thing.
He smiled back at me.
A Message from the Author
I wanted to take a moment and thank everyone who reads this story. Last week certainly proved that there are a lot of you, and I feel blessed to have the opportunity to provide a story that you all can enjoy. I appreciate you whether you post a comment or not. I appreciate you whether you hit the kudos button or not.
Without an audience, there isn't a reason to write. While I do enjoy the stories myself and would probably write even if I was my only audience, having the rest of you read the story spurs me on to even greater things and faster writing. I couldn't do this without you.
Sincerely,
Megan Campbell
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"Can you sing?" Katy piped up. She looked surprised at this information. Naturally, I hadn't sung much around Mom's family before, so few of them knew about my singing ability.
"She is really good," Tracy told her. Katy looked at me with a puzzled expression. This was a side of me she had never seen, never even considered before. Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.21 - Independent Women by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: December 20, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.21 - Independent Women
After church the next morning, I found myself laying on Sarah's couch while listening to the Countdown. Because it was Independence Day, both Emily and Ethan were with their families. Austin and Dad were out back throwing around a football, and Mom was in the kitchen making food for tonight's family dinner.
It was tradition in our family to go up to Grandaddy's house for a day at the beach and then we would have a wonderful meal followed by fireworks. Because the 4th was on a Sunday this year, we had broken the celebration into two days, which meant I still had the second half of a family party to look forward to later that evening.
As I sat there and listened to see where 'Intuition' landed on the charts, I thought about yesterday. I'd always felt close to Mom's side of the family, but never like I had when I had climbed into the car last night. The acceptance I got from everyone was overwhelming. There were still a few who felt uncomfortable around me, notably Derek and Kyle, but I felt they would eventually accept me.
I sighed and stood up after the last note of 'Intuition' came from the speakers. As I had known last Sunday, it was falling. My #1 song had dropped from second on the chart all the way down to sixth. At least I had another one on the way. I felt confident that 'You Can't Hurt Me' would be a hit.
I stepped out of Sarah's room and made my way down the hall to the kitchen. I hadn't had the chance to spend much time with my mom lately, and I thought now was as good a time as any. Dad and Austin were still outside, and I knew that Mom wanted the two of us to get closer.
She smiled at me when I entered the room, looking up from one of the many pots that were spread around the kitchen. By all the food she was preparing, one would have thought that she was feeding her entire family. Half of it would likely be coming home as leftovers. Family dinners with Mom's side of the family always had way too much food for everyone to eat.
"How did it go?" she asked me.
"Sixth," I told her. A small frown crossed her lips as she realized for the first time what I already knew. "It's okay," I said to cheer her up. "I think 'You Can't Hurt Me' is going to knock it out of the ballpark."
She grinned at me and looked around the kitchen to make sure there wasn't anything that needed her direct attention.
"Can I help?" I asked her. She turned back to me, shocked. In all the years that she had been cooking for us, I knew that none of the 'boys' had ever shown any interest in helping her. Mom never minded because she loved to cook. But I saw the realization dawn on her face that she finally had someone who might be willing to learn from her! The smile that followed was one of the largest smiles I had ever seen from her.
"Yes," she finally replied before motioning me over to where she was standing. The first thing she did was give me a hug. She didn't say anything, but I knew that I had just given her one of the best gifts she had ever received.
I knew that Mom was an excellent cook. What I didn't know, but that shouldn't have surprised me, was that she was an excellent teacher too. I had never considered that cooking might actually be fun before. I was beginning to suspect that there had to be some kind of cooking gene that ran through the women in Mom's family. While I readily admitted that I wasn't very good at what I was doing, it seemed relatively simple to understand what she wanted me to do and follow her instructions. And I finally was able to admit that cooking really was fun, or at least it was when working with my mom. I knew that this wouldn't be the last time I found myself in a kitchen.
We laughed and talked while we worked. I'd spent a lot more time with my mom since I'd made the decision to become Megan full time. But I had never done anything like this with her. I gained a new respect for Mom. I loved her so much, and I was so glad that I had someone like her in my life. I didn't know what I would do without her. The support and love that she had shown me not only in the last couple of months, but in my entire life, was so overwhelming that I didn't know how to repay her. I vowed to do everything I could to make her proud of me.
I knew, as I walked down to my room to get ready for the trip up to Malibu, that my mom was my biggest fan. Everyone always told me that they were Sarah's biggest fan. But I knew...I knew, that Mom was Megan's biggest fan.
"I want everyone to enjoy tonight," Dad said while pulling into Grandaddy's driveway. "This may be the last year we get to come."
"What?!" I asked loudly. His words had shocked me! "Why won't we be able to come anymore?"
I saw the sadness in Mom's eyes when she turned to explain it to me. I knew immediately when she looked at me that it was my fault, but that she was okay with not coming in the future.
"Honey," she said with a smile I knew she didn’t fully feel. "Next year you will likely be performing somewhere. We'll all be with you and won't be able to come here."
"Oh," I said with the full realization slamming into me of what my new career meant. This weekend was the only vacation I’d had from Sarah since school ended. What was I going to do when I didn't even get that much next year? I returned a smile to my mom that was much like hers. She nodded her head in understanding of how I really felt. Spending the Fourth of July with family was something we had done every year since I could remember.
It was with a solemn feeling that I helped carry the food that Mom and I had made together into the house. This was supposed to be a happy time, but Dad had just ruined it. He hadn’t done it intentionally, but he had still brought up the subject.
"What's wrong?" Tracy asked me when she saw how upset I looked.
"Nothing," I replied. She didn't buy that answer for a second, taking my hand and pulling me down the hall to the room that I had changed in yesterday.
"What's wrong?" she asked again after closing the door. I felt tears start to well up in my eyes and I sniffed to try to keep them in.
"My dad just warned me that this could be our last year coming to the party," I told her. "Sarah will probably be performing somewhere next year."
Tracy laughed. I was distraught, but for some reason she laughed!
"Oh Megan," she said once she had calmed down. "That isn't something that should make you sad. That should make you happy! I'd love to come to one of your shows instead of be here! Family will always be here for you. Enjoy the fame that you have now, because it will not last forever."
Her words made sense, and I realized that she was right. There were plenty of other times that the family got together; missing one get together wasn't the end of the world.
"Besides," Tracy continued. "Grandaddy rented a karaoke machine for tonight. I so want to see you up on that stage singing for us."
I laughed. I was not sure that singing for my family was a good idea. Somebody was bound to find out the secret.
"Thanks, Tracy," I told her. She had been able to make me feel better.
"Come on. Let's go get a good seat." I smiled, and followed her out the door.
The small backyard that Grandaddy had between the beach and his house had been completely changed for dinner. A number of long tables were spread out in the area with a small stage created on the patio. It looked like Grandaddy had rented a really nice system. There were big speakers on either side, a large flat-panel TV to see the lyrics on, and a professional looking microphone to sing into. We'd never had a karaoke machine at one of these parties before, so I felt it was going to be a lot of fun. There weren't many in my family whom I would consider calling 'musical'.
I ended up sitting at a table with my own family, Aunt Judy and her family, and Tracy and her husband. Derek gave me a smile when I sat down next to his sister, but he didn't say anything to me. I smiled back. I had a feeling it was going to take him a while before he was okay with me, but at least both my conversation and the talk he'd had with his dad yesterday had changed his attitude from yelling at me to grudgingly accepting me.
Before food was served, Grandaddy got up on the stage and tapped on the microphone. "Is this thing on?" he said, simultaneously proving that it was. "Good. I wanted to thank everyone for coming tonight. It means so much to have you all here every year. This year, after a number of suggestions from all of you, we did get a karaoke machine to entertain us throughout dinner and afterward. There are lists of available songs on each table, so all you have to do is come up on stage and punch the number of the song you want to sing into that keypad." He was pointing to a small keypad next to the monitor. "I hope to see everyone up here at least once, or you can't come back next year."
There was light-hearted laughter as he stepped off the stage and everyone made a beeline for the food. This was going to be an interesting evening.
After getting my food I returned to our table. Immediately, Tracy threw a stack of papers at me.
"What's this?" I asked.
"It's the song list," she replied with a sneaky grin on her face. "Start looking through it."
I laughed and started looking at the songs. I still didn't think that singing for my family would be a good idea, but I was curious to see what types of songs were available. There was a large selection. My eyes immediately settled on some of the Kelly Clarkson songs, or even some Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood songs. There were plenty of songs here that I knew I could sing well, but I did not want to risk letting the family in on my secret. I pushed the papers back at Tracy, and watched her frown while I started eating.
It wasn't long before the first 'victim' took the stage. A couple of the young girls decided they wanted to sing before they ate, and we watched as they selected a couple of songs to sing. As I ate my food, I watched many of the young kids in my extended family make fools of themselves up on stage. But they all had a blast doing it. As I watched the fun and excitement on their faces, I couldn't help but think of the rush I got every time I performed. I knew what they were feeling, and I hoped they enjoyed it every time they got up there.
"Have you picked a song yet?" Tracy interrupted my thoughts after a while. Everyone seemed to be content to let the kids sing while we ate, but now that I was finishing my dessert, it looked like she was determined to get me on stage. I shook my head. "You are getting up on stage," she told me. It wasn't a question in her mind.
"Can you sing?" Katy piped up. She looked surprised at this information. Naturally, I hadn't sung much around Mom's family before, so few of them knew about my singing ability.
"She is really good," Tracy told her. Katy looked at me with a puzzled expression. This was a side of me she had never seen, never even considered before.
"I'm not that good," I said, trying to defuse the situation. If Tracy talked me up too much, then I'd have Katy working to get me on stage too.
"Don't lie, Megan!" Austin unhelpfully joined the conversation. He looked excited at the opportunity to hear me sing again. I grimaced. I had a feeling that I wouldn't have much of a choice in this matter.
It was settled when someone handed me the song list. I looked up into Dad's eyes as he handed me the papers and saw the slight nod that he gave to me. He knew how much music meant to me now, and it appeared he wanted to share that with our family. "Be careful," he mouthed to me, and I nodded back. I could sing, but he didn't want me to give away the secret.
Tracy squealed in excitement as I started flipping through the papers again. There were plenty of nice pop songs that I could sing, including my favorite Kelly Clarkson song. But when I turned the page and saw the M's, a big grin formed on my mouth. It looked like all of the Mamma Mia! songs were included, and I immediately knew what I was going to sing. I even felt myself smirk at the thought of some of the lyrics that would be coming out of my mouth.
"Okay," I said, memorizing the number of the song. There was still a line of children waiting to perform, so I sat back to finish my dessert. It was another fifteen minutes before I was pushed out of my seat. Tracy had been so excited since I agreed that it had infected most of the people at the table.
I stepped up onto the small stage and pressed the number of the song into the keypad before turning toward the crowd. Unlike most of the people who had come up to sing, I had picked a song that I knew the words to. There was no need to look at the monitor. Most of my extended family were looking at me curiously, wondering what I would be able to offer them. The only people really excited to hear me sing were the people at my own table.
I closed my eyes for a moment as I felt the rush start to creep into my bones. Wig or no wig, Sarah was just below the surface waiting to be let out to sing.
When the piano interlude began for 'Thank You for the Music', I recognized the song as the movie version that Amanda Seyfried had sung. I'd only ever heard that version and the original ABBA version before, since I had never had the chance to see the show anywhere, but I liked them all the same.
When I started singing the words, Tracy started laughing hysterically when she recognized the song. There were a lot of lyrics in this song that spoke to the dual nature of my life. While on the surface it was just another Broadway song, it hinted at the fact that there was more to my life than just Megan.
As I started on the first verse, thanking everyone for the songs I got to sing, I had the attention of every member of the family. Those who knew my secret - my family, Tracy, and Aunt Judy - all had big smiles on their faces as they listened to my words. Many of the other family members had similar looks, without understanding the secondary meaning I had put into choosing this song.
I enjoyed watching my dad start to choke on his drink when I sang the third verse about being the girl with golden hair. Tracy and Aunt Judy were laughing along with my mom, garnering looks from the rest of the family. I continued singing, putting my best effort into the song, just like I always did.
Whether performing for a crowd of thousands like I had in Salt Lake City, or for my family, the rush came crashing over me as the song ended. I knew I had a huge smile on my face to go with my family’s clapping as I walked back to my table.
"That was so awesome!" Katy screamed as I sat down next to her. "Why didn't you tell me you could sing like that?"
I shrugged. I figured that it was better not to draw attention to myself.
"Megan has always been shy about singing," Mom informed the people around the table. "But I do think she is very good at it."
I smiled at my mom. It looked like Katy was going to say more, but I interrupted her before she could. "Now it's your turn," I told her. "What are you going to sing?"
"What? No! I'm not going to sing!" she exclaimed. She looked panicked at the thought of getting up on that stage.
"Come on," I said, and Tracy joined in by nodding vigorously. "I sang. Now it's your turn."
"No," she said. I pushed the song list in front of her. She pushed it back. I pushed it in front of her again. She sighed. I knew that she was going to get up on that stage just like I had, and she seemed to realize it too. She started to look at the available songs.
Now that I had broken the ice, karaoke turned from being the kids' entertainment to being the adults' entertainment. Many of the youngsters were sent off to the beach with a few of the older kids while the rest of us listened to the older guests singing. Katy didn't do nearly as badly as she thought she would, and Tracy even gave a pretty good attempt. Derek never got up on stage, but Mom and Aunt Judy sang a duet together. They really weren't very good, but it had everyone hooting with laughter by the time they were finished.
By the time it started to get dark and many of the children had come back, I had been persuaded to sing another song. Apparently, I had been voted as the best singer of the night, and they wanted me to sing the last song before we headed for the beach to watch the fireworks.
I climbed up onto the stage once again and looked out at my family. Instead of just the people who had been sitting at the table with me, there were now a lot of people looking on with excitement. I couldn't figure out why they seemed to want to hear me sing. I knew that they would have been excited if they knew that I was Sarah Carerra, but they didn't. I was just Megan, one cousin among many.
I entered the number for my second song of the evening into the keypad and stepped up to the microphone again. Some of the younger kids had crowded at the bottom of the patio, and I smiled down at them while I waited for the music to begin. I had first laid eyes on a Kelly Clarkson song earlier in the evening, and it was going to help me finish the night a little more upbeat.
As the music started playing from the speakers, I readied myself to sing, but had to stop abruptly. 'Long Shot' started with an opening sequence that only carried a melody from my voice, much like I had done with 'You Can't Hurt Me'. I had been ready to sing it, but because this was a karaoke version, and there were no words to that piece of the song, it had been recorded into the track. I laughed as Kelly's voice carried throughout the backyard, but I didn't have long before I knew that it would be my turn.
Just as the guitar started playing I quickly jumped in to sing the first verse. As I continued, a bass and then the drums also joined me, and I found myself doing something that I hadn't intended to do. I was moving with the music. Earlier, I hadn't done much but sing the song. But now, as I sang a song that I really enjoyed and that had a nice catchy beat to it, I found the dance steps that my choreographer had drilled into me coming into play as I performed for my family. Many of them seemed to be mesmerized by my words as I sang, and the rush was rising faster than it had during my last song.
This song was different than most. At least, it was different for me. The parts of 'Long Shot' that I liked the most were the verses instead of the chorus. But even so, I liked each piece of this song, and my family seemed to like it to. As I continued through the second verse many of the children at the bottom of the stage were moving along with me, and I saw others at the tables bobbing their hands or their feet along with the beat.
When I finished the second chorus, I had a few moments to catch my breath, and I looked out at the crowd after drawing out the last two words. I took the time to look over at the table where I had eaten dinner. I saw a lot of awed faces there, but my eyes settled on one face. Mom had been there with me at the concert. She had been there when I needed her most after the press conference. And she was there for me now. I knew that no matter what happened in the future, if we were in another city, another state at this time next year, she would be there for me then. And as long as I had her, everything would be okay.
I sang the song to its conclusion, and while I heard the clapping from the table and the screaming from the younger group right in front me, I couldn't keep my eyes from looking anywhere but at the wonderful woman who meant so much to me. She nodded her head in appreciation, and I choked back the tears.
Mom was motioning for me to sit next to her as I approached the blanket where she and Aunt Judy were sitting on at the beach. Katy was sitting next to her mom, and Tracy and her husband were sitting on their own blanket next to ours. I could vaguely see Austin sitting with Dad and most of the other guys farther down the beach.
I'd had to return to the house to get some water after finishing my song, and then I'd had to make my way through the crowd of well-wishers as they moved from the backyard to the beach to watch the fireworks. Nearly everyone stopped me and told me how good I was at singing or told me how beautiful my voice was. It was definitely different than what I got with a crowd when I was dressed up as Sarah, and I was grateful that I had such a wonderful extended family.
Eventually I'd made it to the beach. As I sat down next to Mom, she wrapped her arms around me. "I am so proud of you, Megan," she whispered in my ear. "I told you that you didn't need the wig to be an excellent singer. You are the artist, not Sarah. Please don't forget that. I don't want to lose my little girl."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I squeezed her back tightly to reassure her that I understood what she was saying.
"Megan," Tracy interrupted us. Mom let me go and I turned toward my cousin. "Thank you. I thought I had seen you perform when you sang that Mamma Mia! song. I was wrong. Thank you for showing me with that last one."
I knew she was being cryptic in her words since there were people sitting with us who didn't know about Sarah. I nodded back to her with a smile that I hoped let her know that I understood what she was saying. She'd been able to see a video of the concert, and she'd seen a couple of my televised performances, but she had never seen me perform in person.
"You're welcome," I replied. A boom and a bright red light pulled our attention away from each other and I turned to watch a second, blue burst fill the night sky. Soon an entire rainbow filled our vision as we watched the fireworks burst on either side of us.
I leaned in against my mom's shoulder, and she rested her head on top of mine. I was an independent young woman when it came to my music, but deep down inside, I needed my mom.
Want More Sarah Carerra?
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"What do you have going on today?" Mom asked.
"I've got a meeting with the people who make the perfume we wanted to endorse," I told her. Then I thought of something that I hoped would really make her happy. It would make me happy, at least. "Do you want to come?" Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.22 - Stardom by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: December 27, 2010 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.22 - Stardom
Waking up Monday morning meant donning the wig again and returning to the life of Sarah Carerra. The weekend had been exactly what I needed and had given me a chance to take a break from all of the glitter and glamour that I had been submerged in for the past few weeks.
After I was dressed, I stepped into the kitchen to eat breakfast. I was happy to note that I was looking forward to singing on stage again. It had been fun to get up on stage last night as Megan and entertain my family, but it still didn't compare to the rush I had received when I performed in Salt Lake City. Although I couldn't perform in front of that large of a crowd for nearly a month yet, I was sure that there would still be a large crowd at the mall for the concert celebrating the release of my album on Thursday.
Mom came into the kitchen while I was eating my cereal, and I smiled at her. This weekend had given me a new appreciation of my relationship with her. She had always been there and loved me while I was growing up, but never had I felt closer to her as I had over the weekend. I now realized why many young girls considered their moms to be their best friends.
"Morning, honey," she said while grabbing a bowl for herself and joining me at the table. "You were a big hit last night. Nobody could stop talking about how well you can sing."
I smiled while I finished chewing the mouthful that I had taken. "It was fun," I finally replied after swallowing. "I'm glad that I got the chance to sing for them, even if they don't know about Sarah."
"Those who do know really enjoyed it," she told me. "I haven't seen Judy that excited in a long time. Your dad said that he would have tickets for anyone in the family who wanted to see Sarah perform at the OC Fair, and when I told her, she nearly freaked out. She's really proud of you, you know."
I nodded. I had seen the way Aunt Judy was looking at me while I had been up on the stage the day before.
"What do you have going on today?" Mom asked.
"I've got a meeting with the people who make the perfume we wanted to endorse," I told her. Then I thought of something that I hoped would really make her happy. It would make me happy, at least. "Do you want to come?"
Mom looked shocked at my question for a moment. Then I saw the longing appear on her face shortly before she spoke. "No, honey, I shouldn't."
Immediately I felt tears start to well in my eyes, and I had to push them back. The only events of Sarah's that Mom had been to were the concert in Salt Lake City and the press conference. She hadn’t had the opportunity to experience most of what my new life entailed, and that was going to change today!
"I think you should come," I told her while making sure to make eye contact. I saw her lips curl slightly at the ends of her mouth and knew for certain that she wanted to come. "You're my mom," I continued without letting her voice the protest I knew was coming. "I want you to be there when I'm dressed as Sarah. This weekend has taught me just how much I love you, Mom! I would have been lost if you hadn't been there at the press conference. And yesterday...I never thought that cooking with you would be so fun! Please come!"
I saw the struggle on her face as she considered my words. I could only sit there and hope that she agreed to join us.
"Come where?" a new voice joined the conversation. I slumped down into my chair a bit as my dad entered the kitchen. I knew that he wanted to try to keep my personal life separate from my professional life, but I didn't want to leave Mom behind anymore when I knew that she wanted to come. She had just as much to be proud about as Dad did, and she had every right to come.
"To the perfume meeting," I replied to him. "I want Mom to come. She hasn't had a chance to see the other side of my life, Dad, and it is a big part of me now."
Dad's face immediately registered his disagreement. I knew that he wanted her to be there too; he wasn't callous and cruel at all. But I also knew that he felt her being there would only be one step away from someone finding out about my real identity.
But I didn't care about keeping my real identity a secret if it meant I couldn't share what I was going through with the people whom I loved the most. We had already agreed that it was the wrong decision to leave Emily and Ethan out of the equation. Now I had realized that we were doing the same thing with my mom. I wasn't going to stand for it.
"Megan, I don't think--" he started to say.
"I DO!" I yelled while cutting him off immediately before he could finish the sentence I knew I didn't want to hear him say. "She's my best friend, Dad!"
I jolted at my realization. Emily and I were going to be lifelong friends. We told each other everything, and nothing was ever going to keep us apart. But she and I didn't have the same relationship that I now realized I had with my mother. Mom was there for me even when Emily couldn't be there for me. There was no way that Emily could have soothed me the way Mom had after the press conference. Spending an afternoon in the kitchen with Emily might have been fun, but it wouldn't have had the same meaning. And deep down inside, I knew what that meant. Emily and I were BFF's, but my mom was my best friend.
The words seemed to have a similar effect on my parents. Tears appeared in Mom's eyes as I stared at my dad, who had involuntarily taken a step backward. He seemed to be at war with himself over the prospect of allowing his wife to come with us and trying to protect the secret. I knew he was only trying to do what was best for me and for our family, but he was being overprotective again.
"Okay," he finally said and then walked back out of the kitchen. He probably wanted breakfast, but I wasn't sure that he wanted to stay in there with us.
The look on Mom's face was enough to tell me that I had made the right decision.
I spent the ride over to the perfume company's headquarters in the backseat of Dad's car. One of the disadvantages with having Mom come along was that she got to sit in the front seat. It didn't matter if I was a famous pop star or not.
But having her there to talk to on the way made it all worthwhile. Both Emily and Ethan weren't able to come - or didn't want to come in Ethan's case - and it was nice to have a friend with me again. I loved my dad, but my relationship with him was definitely different than my relationship with my mom.
Dad pulled up to an office building close to downtown. There weren't many people around when we stepped out of the car, but I still saw some of them point when they saw me. We made it inside the building lobby without anyone approaching us, though.
Inside, we were met by a receptionist sitting at her desk. She looked to be in her early twenties, and her face lit up when she saw me and I even heard her squeal.
"Hi," Dad said. I could see the small smile he had as he watched her reaction. "We're here to see Judy Kirkland."
"Yes," the girl replied, showing her professionalism by taking her eyes away from me and looking at her computer. "She's expecting you and should be out in a few moments." Then she turned toward me. "Sarah, can I have your autograph?"
I smiled at her. I knew that she was trying to keep the composure that the company probably expected from her, but I hated to leave her empty-handed. "Of course," I replied. Dad immediately dug out one of the press photos he always had on him. I signed it for her and then handed it to her.
"Thank you," she said with the largest smile I had seen from her yet.
"You're welcome," I replied. There was a bit of humor in my voice at her reaction, but signing autographs for fans was sometimes as much fun for me as it was for them. I loved seeing their reactions when I handed them whatever I had signed.
We stood there for a few more moments before a woman entered the lobby from the adjacent hallway. She appeared to be in her late 40's and in excellent shape. She too had a big smile on her lips and her blue eyes showed her excitement from behind the cut of her brunette bangs.
"Sarah!" she said while extending her hand toward me. "It is nice to meet you. My name is Judy Kirkland."
"Hi, Judy," I replied and took her hand, giving it a light shake. I then turned toward my parents. "This is my agent Don and his wife Linda."
Judy smiled at both of them before shaking Dad's hand. "Don, it's nice to put a face to your name. If you will all follow me, we have a room ready where we can discuss the details and check out a sample."
Dad nodded his head and the three of us followed her down the hallway and into a conference room. There were two other people in the room talking when we entered, but they stopped and stood up.
"Sarah," Judy said and pointed to a man in a nicely tailored suit. "This is our Chief Marketing Officer, Brad Pickett." He held out his hand and I gave it a shake before we turned our attention to the other lady in the room. She seemed to be in her late 20's and could have easily been a model. "And this is Tina Kirkland. She is the creative director in charge of marketing for Stardom."
"Pleased to meet you," I said and shook her hand too. Nobody mentioned it, but she looked a lot like Judy, and with the same last name I assumed that Judy was her mother.
"Please, have a seat," Judy said and we all took seats at the conference table. I sat down next to my mom across the table from Judy and her crew. It was kind of odd to have Mom between Dad and me while I was dressed up as Sarah, but I wanted her there to get her opinion of the perfume.
Tina, who sat across from me, had a box sitting in front of her, and she reached for it immediately after we sat down. "First thing I'd like to do is introduce you to the perfume." She opened the box and pulled out a perfume bottle made of pink glass in the shape of a stylized star. There appeared to be something in the glass that made it glitter as it was moved around.
"This is Stardom," she said and handed the bottle to me. I took it carefully and turned it around in my hands. I really liked the bottle. It had that 'Glam' factor that Julia was always looking for. The star was also pretty cool looking. It almost looked like a Christmas ornament, but managed to keep itself from falling into that category.
Next, I did the one thing I had been waiting all morning to do. I uncapped the lid and sprayed the back of my left wrist. I then held my wrist up to my nose to see what it smelled like.
"Mmmm..." was what escaped my lips. Immediately, I knew that this was a perfume I was going to be wearing every day. It had a light, sweet, and fruity smell. But mixed in with the faint smell of strawberries was something that I couldn't quite identify. Whatever it was, it immediately seemed to remind me of what it felt like to be on stage. I didn’t know how they had captured that smell, but it certainly was an aptly named perfume.
I passed the bottle to my mom and she had a similar reaction to mine. It was obvious that she really liked it too.
"What do you think?" Tina asked me. I smiled back at her; the corners of her mouth curled up as she realized that I just became their spokesperson.
"I really, really like it," I told her. "I don't know how you did it, but it smells like the feeling I get when I'm up on stage." Mom was nodding her head too.
"Great!" Judy said excitedly. "Then let's get down to the details of what we would expect of you."
I nodded, and the real work began.
It didn't take long after we were back in the car for me to realize that we were not heading for home. In fact, it seemed like we were heading toward the studio.
"Where are we going?" I asked my dad. I saw him smile in the rear-view mirror before he responded.
"I have a surprise for you," he said, but wouldn't elaborate. It took some coaxing, but he finally confirmed that we were heading for the studio.
It took us about ten minutes to get there, and I followed my dad down a corridor I hadn't been in before. After a short walk we were in Max's office.
"Sarah!" Max greeted me when we entered. "It's nice to see you again!"
"Hi, Max," I replied warmly. He seemed to be excited about something, and I wondered what was going on.
"Come in, come in," he said and waved the three of us into the room. Once we were seated in front of his desk, he pulled out a box and laid it on his desk in front of me.
"What's this?" I asked. I hadn't expected any gifts from him or the record company.
"Open it," he said excitedly.
I picked up the box and opened the cover. Then I gasped. Inside the box was a CD jewel case. On the cover of the case...was me! It was my album!
I stared at the image of me. The picture they had chosen to use was one of the pictures from the airport. But I knew it was totally Sarah the second I saw the picture. My face was hidden behind my hair in the picture, but somehow it was very apparent to me that Julia had been wrong about losing the glam in the outfit. Dressed in the jeans and simple top, I managed to pull off an essence of glam even if there were no glam pieces in the shot.
I thought it was slightly odd not to use a picture that showed my face on the cover, but once I opened the case, I appreciated what Max and his team had decided on. Staring back at me from the CD itself was a close up beauty shot that had come from the beach. We had taken a few beauty shots there with a white background, and this one had turned out beautifully.
I was also happy to note that the inside cover of the CD had a picture of the band and me performing. It looked like the picture had been taken while we were shooting the music video for 'You Can't Hurt Me' because I was wearing the white dress and it looked like we were on the roof of the red brick building.
There was also a small booklet inside that I started to look through. Each song was listed with the lyrics, another picture of me or the band, and the credits. I flipped through it a bit and smiled when I saw Chloe's name next to a few songs. Even Madison's name was listed under 'Friends Forever'. She would certainly score some points with her friends.
The back of the CD case sported the same photo as the CD, and almost looked like it could be a cover itself.
"What do you think?" Max asked me after I had seen each piece. I looked up at him and smiled.
"I love it!" I told him enthusiastically. I was feeling much of the same rush that I normally got after performing a song, and I knew that all the hard work that the band and I had put into making this CD had been worth it. I couldn't wait to get their thoughts on it!
"I'm glad," Max replied, beaming. "They are already in production and will be ready for Thursday. Sarah, I think that this album is going to be a big hit. We've already got high order volumes coming in. That one is yours to keep."
I smiled back, and when we left his office shortly afterward, I still had a large rush flowing around inside of me.
When we got home, I immediately headed to Sarah's room and removed the wig and glam. I would have been back out of the house just as quickly if I hadn't been stopped by Dad to get my opinion on the Jive. I had already decided that I wanted to endorse the music device. After telling him that I would endorse it, he finally let me out of the house and I was quickly on my way to the mall. There was no way that I wasn't going to share the album with Emily as soon as possible and I knew that she would still be at work.
I wanted to show Ethan the album too, but he hadn't answered when I had called him from the backseat of Dad's car while we were on the way home from the studio. I hoped that he wasn't trying to avoid me again. I no longer knew what to do to try to get through to him. If I couldn't get him to open up soon, I didn't know what would happen to our friendship.
After pulling my car into the parking lot, I quickly made my way through the mall toward The Treble with Music. The store wasn't very busy when I entered, but I saw that Emily was helping a customer at the register. She smiled at me and held up one of her index fingers to let me know she would be right with me.
While I was waiting, I looked around the store. It had changed slightly since the last time I had been inside. A space had been cleared at the back of the store where a table had been set up and there were pictures of me all over the place. It was still three days until I'd be signing CDs here, but they had already converted the place to try to draw in as many people as possible. I had a feeling that I would be making this store a lot of money this week.
Eventually Emily finished with her customer, and I walked over to the register.
"Hi, Megan," she said with a broad grin. It felt like it had been a week since I'd last seen her. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought you might want to see this," I told her and pulled out the album. Her reaction was similar to mine the first time that I had seen it. She gasped before taking it from me and looking through it. When she found Chloe's name next to the songs that she had helped me to write, she lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Megan, this is awesome!" she finally exclaimed. She was nearly as excited as I had been. "I can't wait for Thursday!" she continued. "Have you seen the mall? Your picture is everywhere! It's going to be amazing!"
I smiled at her reaction. I felt much the same way. Walking through the mall had shown me that they were definitely playing up my concert for all it was worth. I was glad that I was going to have the chance to sing here. I'd been shopping here my whole life, so it was nice to give something back.
"Have you shown Ethan?" Emily asked me. My smile disappeared at the mention of his name.
"No," I told her, and her smile also dimmed. "I think he's avoiding me."
"What?" she had a confused look on her face. "Why?"
"I don't know, Emily," I replied. "I really screwed up our relationship at the concert. He doesn't answer when I call him, and he barely acknowledges me when I'm around. I went over to his house last Friday and dragged him with me to look at the Jive, and he moped around the whole day like he didn't even want to be there."
Emily sighed. I didn't think she realized just how bad our relationship had become because she was at work nearly every day. But now she was starting to understand that I needed her help.
"I'll talk to him," she finally said after a moment of silence. "There must be something bugging him, and I'll see if I can find out what it is so we can patch it up."
"Thanks, Emily," I beamed at her. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
Have a song you want to hear Sarah sing?
I'm looking for cover songs that Sarah can sing to help fill out her concerts. These songs should be of a pop variety that someone like Sarah Carerra would sing. If you have any suggestions, please post a comment below or here.
Thank you,
Megan
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Dad and I had signed a contract with Starlight for at least three commercials over the next year. This first one, along with the print ad, was focusing on the 'Night Sky' eye shadow collection that Stephanie had been using to give me my signature look.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.23 - Star Power by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: January 3, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.23 - Star Power
"Megan, it's time to wake up," somebody said softly just before I was lightly shaken. I opened my eyes to see Dad standing next to my bed.
"Huh?" I mumbled. It was too dark in my room to be time to wake up.
"It's time to wake up," my dad repeated. It still didn't make any sense to me. I think I groaned because he started chuckling at me.
"I thought we didn't need to be there until 9:30," I said. "What time is it?"
"It's 4:00," he replied. "And you're right - we don't need to be there until 9:30. But it's in Seattle, remember?"
"Seattle?" I heard myself ask. He hadn't told me that the makeup shoot was in Seattle.
"Yes," my dad confirmed. "Last week I told you it was in Seattle. Now hurry up, because we need to be at the airport in just under an hour and a half."
I groaned, but threw the covers back. If I would have known that we were getting up this early, I would have gone to bed at a more decent time. As it was, I felt like I could sleep for another eight hours.
I struggled to get ready. Everything felt like it was in slow motion, even after a nice warm shower. I apparently took too long getting ready because I didn't have time to eat breakfast before we left, and I would have to settle for something at the airport. But eventually I managed to drag myself outside to find a white limo waiting for me.
"There she is," Dad smiled from where he was standing next to a guy I had never met. The guy appeared to be the driver if his suit was any indication. "Sarah, I'd like you to meet Eddie. Eddie, this is Sarah."
"Hi," I mumbled and gave him a short wave.
"She forgot we were waking up this early," Dad explained to him before turning back to me. "Eddie will be our driver for the concert tour. He comes highly recommended."
"It's nice to meet you," was about the only thing I was able to get out before Dad ushered me into the limo. I think he knew I still wasn't fully awake.
I remembered nothing of the drive down to the airport, but traffic must have been light because Dad awoke me from where I had fallen asleep against his shoulder sooner than I would have liked. When I looked out the window I noticed that we were pulling into the airport. I had just enough time to pull out my compact and make sure my makeup was okay before Eddie pulled the limo up to Terminal 3, where Alaska Airlines was located. He was quickly out of his door and around to the passenger side of the limo where he opened the door for us. Dad was the first to get out, but when I slid out myself there was a small crowd watching us.
I was afraid that someone would approach us and I'd have to put on a smile I didn't feel at the moment, but we were left alone as we entered the airport and headed for the security checkpoint. We were flying back this evening, so all I had was my purse and Dad had his normal laptop bag. I did have to smile for a few people standing in line near us and even signed an autograph for one of them, but before long we were through the checkpoint and into the terminal.
We checked in at the gate and then walked over to the food court to get some breakfast. Fast food breakfasts aren't often very good, and the food we ended up with was no exception, but it was nice to have something in my stomach. Several people kept pointing at me while I ate, but not many approached me. I did give out a couple more autographs while we ate, and even posed for a few pictures with some of my fans.
By the time we got back to the gate and found a place to sit for the remainder of the wait until boarding, I felt much more awake. A little food and some interaction with fans were enough to get my brain working, and then Dad decided it was time to make me wish I was still in bed.
"What's this?" I asked as he handed me some papers. I glanced at them and frowned before he had a chance to speak. This was work. I wasn't ready to start working.
"It's the script for the commercial," he said unnecessarily. "It would be a good idea to memorize the lines before we get there."
I nodded reluctantly and started reading through the lines. Everything seemed to come from the same cookie cutter mold as every other makeup commercial I had seen before, so I had a good idea of what would be expected of me.
I spent some time trying to memorize the lines and then I started to work on my presentation. I was speaking the lines to myself, but apparently I wasn't being quiet enough.
"Would you shut up?!" someone yelled nearby. I looked up to see a man glaring at me from the seats across from us. He looked really mad. "I'm trying to get some sleep before we board!"
"I'm sorry," I replied. I would have stopped if he had politely asked, but he didn't have to yell at me!
"You’d better be!" he wasn't frothing at the mouth, but it wouldn't have surprised me if he started. Being in a public area like we were I would have thought that he would be more understanding of the noises around him.
"Calm down, sir," Dad said to the guy. "She didn't mean to keep you awake."
"Who are you, her dad?" the guy asked. "Isn't she old enough to stand up for herself?"
"No, I'm her agent," Dad replied, more firmly this time while leaning forward into a more intimidating pose. He sounded really calm, but I could see the tension around his eyes that gave away the fact that he was starting to get upset.
"Are you going to an audition or something?" The man asked. He looked like he was calming down some, and I could see my dad relax slightly.
"No," I replied. "I'm shooting a commercial today. I was trying to learn my lines."
The man looked at me again with a new set of eyes. It was apparent that he didn't recognize me, but his expression led me to believe that he had seen my face somewhere before.
"Who are you?" he asked a moment later. I heard a couple of people nearby start chuckling at him, but they didn't say anything.
"Sarah," I told him. "Sarah Carerra."
His eyes shot up at my name. Although he had not recognized my face, he definitely knew my name. I could see some guilt creep across his face now.
"Look, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that," he said, like me being famous meant that I shouldn't have been yelled at. In truth, he shouldn't have yelled at anyone that way.
"It's okay," I replied. I did not agree with the reason for his apology, but at least he did apologize. "I should have been more aware that you were trying to sleep."
"Um," the guy looked nervous now. "My daughter...she's a big fan..." I laughed lightly, but I turned to Dad who was already pulling out a press photo for me to sign.
Being famous certainly had some perks.
The flight was just over two and a half hours long, which gave me enough time to become familiar with the script and get some more sleep before we landed.
We met our driver near the baggage claim and were escorted out to a black limousine that drove us to the studio where the commercial and photo shoot would take place. When we arrived, we were quickly ushered inside and down a hall to a studio. It looked like we were going to get right to work instead of meeting in a conference room first.
"Sarah!" exclaimed a kind looking woman. I couldn't quite place how old she was. She had one of those faces that could have been in her late 30's to her early 50's.
"Hi," I replied. I didn't know who she was, but I figured she was probably somebody important.
"My name is Caroline Murray and I'm a representative for Starlight Cosmetics. I'll be overseeing the photo shoot today," she said. Then she turned toward Dad. "And you must be Don?"
"I am," he said. "It's nice to finally meet you."
Caroline then turned to look behind her. "I don't see...there she is." She waved at someone, and another woman headed our way. When she reached us, she smiled at me.
"Sarah, this is Gloria. She'll be your photographer today," Caroline introduced us.
"It's nice to meet you, Sarah," Gloria greeted me with a joyful look in her eye that I hoped meant that she would be fun to work with.
"It's an honor," I replied, garnering a broad smile from Gloria. I figured that flattering her would likely make her easier to work with.
"We don't have much time this morning," Caroline interrupted us. "We have another photo shoot in here at noon, so we better get started."
Gloria nodded to her, and I was led over to a makeup station.
"Stephanie!" I happily yelled when I saw her standing next to a vanity. I quickly gave her a hug. "I didn't expect to see you here! You should have flown up with us!"
Stephanie laughed at my enthusiasm before replying. "Hi, Sarah. I'm flying back with you, but I came up yesterday to visit a friend."
"Well, I'm glad you're here," I told her. "My makeup should be flawless for these ads, and there isn't any other person whom I would want to do it for me."
She beamed at me and pointed to the seat. We chatted while she did my makeup. She had been asked by the company to be the makeup artist for the shoot when they found out that she had been the one who had made the decision to use Starlight's products on me. Apparently it was a real honor for Stephanie to be asked to do so.
Eventually she finished with me and I was led over to where the camera was set up. There was nothing but a white background in front of the camera.
"Alright, Sarah," Gloria told me. "Just beauty shots for the ads."
I nodded, and it wasn't long before I was posing for even more photos of Sarah.
After a catered lunch, Caroline escorted us down to another studio. This one wasn't much different than the first, except that the backdrop in front of the camera was black with what appeared to be small twinkling lights. 'Starlight', I realized a moment later.
Caroline led us over to another small group of people who were sitting in some chairs waiting for us. They stood up as we approached.
"Sarah, this is Thomas," Caroline said while pointing to a man who was dressed very flamboyantly. I hadn't seen many people with this kind of fashion style, and there was a reason for that. I thought he looked ridiculous, but I was sure he loved it. "He is the director of the commercial."
"Sarah," Thomas said in a light, airy tone. I didn't like him immediately, but I didn’t know why. He seemed fake. "Good to meet you, darling. Love your music."
"Hello," I replied. I highly doubted he had ever even heard my music before. "It's nice to meet you too." I wasn't telling the truth, but I wanted to keep him in a good mood. I knew from my first photo shoot that I didn't work well with people who were upset and yelling.
"Have you read the script?" he asked. I saw a hopeful expression on his face, which made me grateful that I had taken the time to memorize the lines. I nodded to tell him that I had. "Excellent! This shouldn't be too hard for someone of your talent. Hopefully we'll be done early!"
I too hoped that we got through this quickly. I was already getting sick of the fake kindness he was showing me. Perhaps he was genuine, but that wasn't the impression I was getting from him.
Despite the attitude that Thomas seemed to have, he was very good at describing what he wanted from me. He led me over to the backdrop and gave me a brief explanation of what he wanted.
Dad and I had signed a contract with Starlight for at least three commercials over the next year. This first one, along with the print ad, was focusing on the 'Night Sky' eye shadow collection that Stephanie had been using to give me my signature look.
"The commercial isn't much more than an extension of the beauty shots that you did this morning," Thomas explained. "Most of the shots will be you moving around on the screen with a smile on your face. We'll get you to provide the voice over afterward. The only line you'll be speaking on screen will be the final line."
"Okay," I said with relief. Even if I hadn't learned my lines, I could have read them from the paper I had been given while we recorded. But I felt that I'd likely perform them better from memory than from reading them.
"Alright, Sarah, head over to makeup and wardrobe. I'll be waiting here when you are through," Thomas said and then turned and walked to a chair where he picked up a book.
I quickly made my way over to where he had pointed. There was a girl in her early twenties waiting for me. Unlike Thomas, her friendliness seemed to be genuine, and I smiled at her as I approached.
"Hi, Sarah," she greeted me. "My name is Gwen, and I have set out a dress for you to change into. Head on in." She was pointing at a door that I assumed led into a dressing room.
"Thank you," I replied and stepped inside. Sure enough, it was a small dressing room and waiting for me inside was something that had to have been picked out by Julia. There's no way someone else would have been able to hit my style so exactly.
The dress was primarily white, fell to my knees, and had thin straps over my shoulders. But it was the twinkling adornments that gave it that "glam" factor. In vertical rows all along the dress were small circular dots of some type of metallic material sewn to the dress. Each dot was connected to the others in the column by a small strand of the same material. I couldn't help but smile as I watched them. It looked kind of like starlight. I quickly removed the clothes I had been wearing and slipped the dress over my head.
Gwen was nowhere to be seen when I stepped out of the dressing room a few moments later. But Stephanie was nearby and she quickly touched up my makeup before sending me back toward Thomas. He plastered his fake grin back onto his face as I approached and stood up from his chair.
"You look smashing!" he commented to me. I smiled back, but I didn’t believe him.
The commercial shoot was ten times easier than anything else I had done in front of a video camera to date. Thomas had me moving about in front of the camera in the way that I remembered from just about every makeup commercial I had ever seen. We spent a lot of time doing headshots and three-quarter shots to try to emphasize my eyes. He even turned on 'You Can't Hurt Me' and had me sing some of the words in case they wanted to incorporate the song into the video somehow.
Eventually, we got around to shooting the last scene for the commercial. This was where I would make or break Thomas' expectations. Until this point, I hadn't had any lines to say, but now I had to cap the commercial off.
"Action!" Thomas yelled, and I immediately went into the motions he expected of me.
"Give yourself the attention you deserve," I repeated the lines that were clearly in my head. I was half afraid that I would forget the lines. But when it came to learning dialogue, or lyrics, I had a knack for remembering the words. "And shine with the power of Starlight." I gave the camera the best smile I could.
"Cut!" Thomas yelled excitedly. "Sarah! That was great! I knew you'd be good at this! Let's give it another take."
I chuckled slightly at his words, but moved back into position to do it again. It took five tries in total to get it exactly how he wanted it, but at least it wasn't the dialogue that he was tweaking. That was something I was able to pull off easily.
After redressing in my own clothes, I found myself in an all-too-familiar sound booth where I recorded the rest of the lines for the commercial.
I had been slightly nervous when I had entered the building earlier this morning. But as I walked out to the limo with Dad and Stephanie for the ride back to the airport, I felt just the opposite.
I felt like a star.
Have a song you want to hear Sarah sing?
Thank you for all of the cover song suggestions that you have given. I've received a number of really good suggestions that I think will make it into the story. If you have any other suggestions, please post a comment below or here.
Thank you,
Megan
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A large grin spread across his face when he saw me, and my heart nearly melted. I had forgotten how cute that smile was.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.24 - Doctors and Pop Stars and Music Videos, Oh My! by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: January 10, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.24 - Doctors and Pop Stars and Music Videos, Oh My!
I awoke late Wednesday morning, but I was thankful for the extra sleep. Waking up early and getting home late yesterday had been enough to make me glad that there wasn't anything big planned for today, at least in the Sarah world.
Megan, however, had a doctor's appointment this morning. It had been three weeks since I had collapsed on stage and had my surgery, and I had a check up this morning to make sure that everything was healing correctly. Frankly, everything seemed normal to me now and I didn't want a doctor poking around down there, but I was given no choice in the matter.
I climbed out of bed and took a nice, long shower to help wake me up. Then I headed back to my room to get ready for the day. By the time I was finished, it was already after 10:00, and my appointment was scheduled for 11:00. That would give me enough time to eat breakfast before Mom and I had to leave.
"Morning, Austin," I said to my brother while stepping out of the hallway. He was watching TV in the front room, and I turned toward the kitchen. But I stopped quickly when I realized that there were two heads rising above the back of the couch. Another glance showed me that Susan was visiting again, and she was looking at me as quizzically as I was looking at her.
"Morning, Megan," Austin replied. Then he noticed that Susan was looking at me and twirled around quickly with a look of fear on his face. I laughed out loud at his reaction. I wasn't dressed up as Sarah, but if I had been then he would have just outed me to his girlfriend. He sighed quickly when he saw me. "This is my girlfriend, Susan," he said in relief. "Susan, this is my sister."
"It's nice to meet you," I told Susan while stepping into the front room. "I haven't seen Austin this happy in a long time."
Susan laughed, and Austin grimaced. I knew that he probably didn't like what I was doing, but it would help him in the long run. I wanted to make Susan feel welcome here.
"It's nice to meet you too," Susan replied. "Austin is always talking about how great you are. It's nice to put a face to the picture he's painted."
Now I laughed. She really was a good girlfriend for Austin. She seemed to be bringing him out of the shell he'd been in for so long. It was also nice to see the real side of Susan. She had definitely been a different person when I was dressed up as Sarah.
"Well, I have a doctor's appointment in a while, and I want to get some breakfast first. I'll leave you two alone for now," I said and with a small wave stepped into the kitchen where Mom was reading a book.
"Morning, Mom," I said while pulling a bowl out of the cupboard and reaching for the box of cereal that was still on the counter. I carried both and a spoon to the table and placed them next to where Mom was sitting.
"Morning, Honey," she replied with a smile before returning to her book.
I walked over to the fridge and retrieved the milk. "Are you coming with me?" I asked her.
"If you want me to," she replied, giving me another smile.
"Only if I get to drive," I said which caused her to laugh. She nodded her head to let me know that I could, and I poured my cereal.
"Good morning, Megan," Dr. Holbrook greeted me as she stepped into the examination room that Mom and I had been led to. "How are you doing today?"
Jenny Holbrook had been the doctor who discovered who I truly was. Without her, I wouldn't be the girl I was today.
"I'm doing well," I replied. Even if she had been the one to lead me through my transition, I was still nervous about her examination. "No pain or anything."
"That's good to hear," she said. "Hop on up here and we'll get this over with."
I smiled nervously but did as she asked. I had already taken off my clothes and changed into the paper gown that the nurse had provided for me, but I still felt completely naked.
Dr. Holbrook didn't waste any time, and I tried to think of being up on stage singing while she went about her business. It must have worked, because before I knew it, she was done.
"Everything looks like it's healing really well," she said once I had been covered once again. "You appear to be a healthy young woman in all respects now. Congratulations."
"Thank you," I replied with a huge smile. I knew that already, but having a doctor confirm it helped.
"Now, for the future, you have two options," she said. "I'm sure your mom has a gynecologist whom she uses, and you are more than welcome to go to her too. Or, you are more than welcome to come back here. Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable is fine with me."
"Thank you," I replied. "I'll keep that in mind." I honestly had no idea what I would do in the future. This wasn't something that I had ever considered before.
"There's just one more thing, if you feel up to it," she said. I'm sure I must have had a nervous look on my face, because she laughed at my response before continuing. "It's nothing like that," she said. "I'm going to be visiting my daughter in a few weeks. She lives up in Paso Robles, and I thought it would be fun to treat her and my granddaughter to your concert at the Mid-State Fair. I've got tickets, but I was hoping that you would be willing to meet her and maybe sign an autograph?"
"You didn't need to do that," I replied. "I could have gotten you tickets. But I would love to meet your granddaughter. I'll make sure that my dad gets you some backstage passes and you can come and visit before the show."
She was beaming at me now. I loved making fans happy.
Dad was waiting for us anxiously when we got home. I knew that there wasn't anything planned for Sarah today, so I wasn't sure what was making him so nervous.
"Hurry and put on the wig," was all he said when we entered the house.
"Why?" I asked for clarification.
"Just hurry," he said and tried to shoo me down the hall. I didn't know what was going on, but I honored his wishes and went to get ready. I heard the doorbell ring as I was finishing up my makeup, and realized that someone must have been coming to see me.
As I opened the door to Sarah's room I heard my parents greeting somebody in the front room. Figuring that they would be waiting for me, I walked down the hall and then peeked around the corner. If it was someone whom we didn't want to see Sarah, then I could quickly duck back down the hall.
"Josh!" I screamed instead when I saw Josh Holliday and his mom standing in the front room. A wave of emotions washed over me. Josh was still in the middle of his concert tour. Because he was flying around the country every weekend to perform, I hadn't had the chance to see him since the night we had performed together in Salt Lake City.
A large grin spread across his face when he saw me, and my heart nearly melted. I had forgotten how cute that smile was. I knew the last thing we had talked about together had been about his love for Megan instead of Sarah, but it looked like he still had an appreciation for Sarah.
"Hi, Sarah," he said and my legs started to feel wobbly. This reaction certainly helped me to realize that what I felt for Ethan was not the same thing as what I felt for Josh. Ethan had never made me feel this way.
"Come in and have a seat, Sarah," my dad said. "Josh has something he would like to ask you."
My breath caught in my throat again as I stepped into the front room and took a seat next to my mom. Josh and his mom took a seat across from us and Dad sat down in his favorite chair.
Last time Josh had come to my house to ask me something, I had ended up opening for him in Salt Lake City. Josh had a show here in Los Angeles on Saturday; was he going to ask me to do the same thing? Was I going to get the chance to get back on stage this week instead of the three weeks I'd have to wait for my own concert series to start? Granted, I would be on stage at the mall tomorrow, but the limited space at the mall meant that it wouldn't be a very big crowd. But Josh was performing at the Staples Center! That one venue held more seats than anything I had booked for my entire concert series!
I took a deep breath. I was jumping to conclusions. He wouldn't be here to ask me to sing again. This was something else.
"I was hoping you would perform with me on Saturday," Josh said, shattering the reservations I had just told myself. I felt my excitement rising again. "I mean, singing a few duets with me."
So it wasn't opening for him, but I'd still get to be up on stage with all of those people watching! And I'd get to sing that duet with Josh that we had talked about the night we first met, when he'd taken me to the Tween Awards!
"I'd love to," I replied. There wasn't any other answer I could give. I saw Josh smile big, and out of the corner of my eye I knew that Dad had expected the same answer because of the smile on his face. I had the feeling that Josh and Dad had been talking about this for some time.
"Great!" Josh exclaimed. "I have three songs that I've been working with Don to get approval to sing with you. Don, can we sing them all?"
"Yes," Dad replied. "I got approval for 'Lucky' last night.”
"'Lucky' as in Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat?" I asked.
"That's the one," Josh confirmed. "We'll open with that one, and then move on to the others. Are you an ABBA fan at all?"
"Not per se," I replied. "But I am a fan of Mamma Mia!"
"That's good," Josh continued. "My mom loves ABBA," He said, and his mom nodded next to him. "She had a really good idea for a second duet. Do you know the song 'Does Your Mother Know’?” I nodded. "Well I guess the original was actually written for one of the guys in ABBA. They changed it to a female lead for the Broadway show. Anyway, my mom thinks that it would be a good one to sing together if we split the verses between the two versions."
"That sounds interesting," I told him. And it did, too. That song was usually sung between an older woman and a young boy, or perhaps the other way around originally. Having two teenagers sing it would be different, but it might be kind of funny too.
"Then, to finish up, I thought we could sing 'I Need You'," Josh told me.
I couldn't help it. I gasped. "You mean..."
"Yes," Josh nodded. "Clarissa doesn't want anything to do with the song anymore, so I need someone else whom I can record it with."
Clarissa Montague and Josh had been an item just under a year ago. Clarissa was older than both of us, but she had a good voice and had a pretty decent fan base. She had latched onto the opportunity to sing a duet with Josh for the Grammy awards. But when the two of them broke up a couple of weeks later, she refused to record the song with him.
Now, I would get the opportunity! The song itself was a really beautiful piece that I had loved back then, and I would love to sing it now.
"I'd be honored, Josh," I replied softly. When we had first discussed singing a duet together, I had balked at the idea. That had been during dinner before the Tween Awards, and Josh hadn't been the best date in the world. But by the end of the night my feelings about him had changed. Seeing him tonight had proven to me that those feelings had only grown in the time since our concert. Singing such an emotional and memorable song with him was definitely something I wanted to do.
"Awesome!" he said excitedly. I hoped for a moment that he would give me a hug to celebrate, but it seemed that emotionally he really had moved on. He looked like he wanted to do something, but he didn't. "We're having dinner over at my aunt's house on Friday," he said instead. "I'd like you and your family to come, and we can do some practicing there." I nodded back to him, sad that he wasn't going to do what I wanted him to do.
"I'm sorry I can't stay longer," he said suddenly, ripping what was left of my heart out of my chest. He had just gotten here! I didn't want him to leave! "But I've got an interview in an hour and we still need to make it downtown."
He stood up, followed quickly by his mom and my parents. I reluctantly stood too and followed them to the door. I didn't know what else to say, but he turned and looked at me before stepping outside.
"Thank you, Sarah," he said. "I was half afraid you would say no. I know how you feel about me, and you know that I can't completely return those feelings. But I hope that we can stay friends."
Friends. He had a big smile on his face, but I still felt like I had just been dumped by my soul mate. Maybe I had. I smiled back. It was partially a fake smile, but I too hoped that friendship would still be in our cards. Besides, friendship might be the key I needed to win him back from myself. This was so confusing, just like the night of the concert all over again.
"Bye, Sarah," he eventually said when he realized I couldn't muster any words.
"Bye, Josh," I was finally able to reply. Then I had to watch in pain as he walked down the steps and got into his limo.
I was in a funk for much of the afternoon. Not even the excitement of tomorrow's concert or the thought of singing with Josh on Saturday was enough to put a smile on my face. I didn't realize that my feelings for Josh had grown that strong. Watching him retreat from me hurt. I didn't know what else to do.
Eventually, Dad had enough of that attitude and sat me down in front of the TV in the front room. Mom sat down next to me and Dad took a seat in his chair again. Even Austin was present for whatever he wanted to show us.
"I know that you are feeling bad about Josh, Princess," he said. "But I have something that will cheer you up. I was going to save it until after dinner, but I can't stand seeing you mope around the house anymore. Without further ado, I give you the music video for 'You Can't Hurt Me'."
That perked me up immediately! He had the music video and he was waiting to show it to me until now? I should have been mad at him, but I was too excited to see it to think of anything else.
He pressed play and I was mesmerized as I appeared on the screen walking down a street with my back to the camera, wearing the schoolgirl outfit that Julia had dressed me in. After a few steps, it appeared like I looked at a sign to my right that pointed down the alley toward a 'Stairway to Stardom' and briefly touched it with my hand. My head turned to look down the alley, and with the opening notes of the song playing, I turned and started walking down the alley.
As the first part of the opening melody came to a close, the scene changed and I saw myself approaching the wrought-iron staircase. I stopped and my hand caressed the sign pointing up the stairs as the second half of the opening melody began with a crash of Stacy's cymbals. Then with an eager, almost excited expression on my face I stepped toward the stairs.
The happiness and excitement of the girl on screen was quite evident when I took my first step up the stairs, but that didn't last very long. Almost in slow motion, and in tune with the beginning words of the song, a tomato came flying from off the screen and hit me on my left arm. A shocked expression crossed the girl's face as the force of the unexpected impact knocked her off center and she fell to her knees.
Next thing I knew, the picture had switched to a group of people who were throwing tomatoes. A few looked like reporters; some looked like concerned fans or parents. There was even one who looked an awful lot like Brady Townsend, the reporter who had turned the press conference into a living nightmare.
When the scene changed back to show me kneeling on the stairs, it included a close up of me that showed the pain and anger that I had felt. But there was also a fierce determination in my eyes and I watched mesmerized as I stood up and took another step up the stairs. Then another. Amid the rain of tomatoes, I watched and listened as the girl struggled to make it up those stairs. Finally, she collapsed at the short landing half way up only to be hit by another tomato before the video cut to the band and me on the top of the building.
The contrast between the confident young woman singing on top of the building and the picture that I had seen of the nearly defeated girl on the stairs was amazing! I couldn't believe how different I looked between the two scenes! The clothes helped to make a difference, but somehow there was an extra confidence showing through while I sang. Mom had once told me that I had a fire in my eyes when I performed. I had never noticed it before in the playbacks I had seen of my performances, but I saw it now. I wondered if that look had anything to do with the rush that I felt when I performed.
When the first verse came to an end, the video switched back to where I was kneeling on the stairs. The pain and anger on my face was subtly different. It was almost as if I was mad at myself for letting the tomatoes and the jeers from the crowd get to me. Then the determination returned again, and I watched as the defeated girl on the screen stood up and took another step forward. With each step she stood straighter, taller. It wasn't long before the tomatoes that were hitting her had no effect on her. Then, the tomatoes stopped hitting her altogether. Instead, they'd miss her or fall short of the stairs.
By the time I reached the top of the stairs, that fire I had seen during the chorus was starting to appear on my face. Just before the video cut back to us on top of the building there was a new girl staring at the camera. She had a fierceness in her eyes that gave me chills. The video then cut to the band and me playing through the second chorus. That same fire I had seen in my eyes the first time was, if anything, even more pronounced the second time around. I sat silently watching, only to have the rush start to creep into my bones. Just watching myself perform was enough to invoke that fire that built within me.
As the song softened to the short interlude between the second and third chorus, I watched as the scene cut back to the girl on the stairs. Immediately, she turned and started walking toward the stage that was now visible behind her. Along the way, she fiercely pulled hard on the various articles of clothing she wore, and as she got closer and closer to the stage she left a trail of clothes, and her old life, behind her. In her place was the confident angel that had been singing on stage wearing the white dress with the color dancing around her.
Once she reached the stage, she quickly donned the silver heels that were waiting for her, and grabbed the white microphone Dad had bought me just in time for another crash of Stacy's cymbals to ring out. She started singing immediately, voicing the end of the chorus softly before all other noise stopped and I sang 'You Can't Hurt Me' with so much emotion that I felt the fire burning throughout my whole body intensify.
The frenetic pace of the chorus kicked in at that moment, and I saw the fire I felt burning in my body as I sat there watching it appear on the face of the girl as she sang the final chorus of the song. Somehow, the camera had captured every emotion, every feeling I had felt while writing this song. I couldn't ask for a better debut music video. I suddenly understood that this song would define who I was for a long time to come.
As I watched myself sing the last 'You Can't Hurt Me' of the song, I watched the video cut to a close-up of my face, and I got chills again at the fierce determination mixed with the fire of the rush I knew I had been feeling at the time burning in her eyes. Then, the video cut to black.
Only three words escaped my lips as the video ended. But those three words told my small audience everything:
"Play it again!"
Want more Sarah Carerra?
sarahcarerra.com proudly offers another exclusive behind the scenes look at the making of Sarah Carerra. Today, learn about how the 'Big 3' songs were created and what inspired them. 'Intuition', 'Ever After', and 'You Can't Hurt Me' are arguably Sarah's greatest songs, and now you too can learn more about what made them what they are today. Head on over and see for yourself here.
Thank you,
Megan
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When I awoke on Thursday morning, I couldn't contain the excitement level that started to rise within me. Not only was I going to get the chance to sing and interact with a number of my fans, but I was also going to release my first album!
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.25 - Just Another Day at the Mall by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: January 17, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.25 - Just Another Day at the Mall
When I awoke on Thursday morning, I couldn't contain the excitement level that started to rise within me. Not only was I going to get the chance to sing and interact with a number of my fans, but I was also going to release my first album!
I was almost giddy as I took a shower and did what I could to get ready before the entourage showed up. I ended up slipping into a pair of shorts and a tank top to wait. The concert was scheduled to start at 4:00 this afternoon. I would sing for about half an hour, then I'd be signing autographs from 5:00 until 7:00.
Mom wouldn’t be able to do much to help me later in the day, so she had taken it upon herself to make us a big breakfast. I saw the smile on her face and noticed her humming 'Ever After' before she ever saw me enter the kitchen. I laughed at the embarrassed look upon her face when she looked up. She was such a great mother.
As I ate the food she had prepared, I started to think about all the people who made my life special. Mom and Dad were at the top of the list. I wouldn't be where I was today without them. Austin had the least to do with Sarah, but I still wouldn't trade him for anyone else in the world, not even a sister. I had Emily to fill that void. She had to work today, but I was pretty sure she'd get to see the concert. I knew that she'd be able to hear it from 'The Treble with Music' if she wasn’t able to watch. Ethan said he'd ride in the limo with me, but I hadn't heard much more from him. Ethan still meant so much to me, but I still hadn't been able to break through the shell that he had developed while he was at camp.
The rest of the morning went by pretty quickly. Julia and Stephanie arrived to get me ready, and I found myself in a dark pair of jeans and a pink top that looked almost like something I would normally wear to the mall. The bracelets, the necklace, and the 3-inch heels that Julia added to the outfit provided the glam that set me apart from being just another girl at the mall, however. I admired her ability to find the perfect outfit for every situation.
By the time I walked outside to the waiting limousine, I could already feel the first tingles of the rush. Dad was already at the mall, and Mom was bringing Austin and his girlfriend Susan later. That left only Ethan waiting for me as I approached where he was standing next to Eddie. Unfortunately, he was his usual self during the ride, and hardly said a word to me.
When we pulled up to the mall, Eddie let me out of the limo at a side entrance that I didn't even know existed. Just inside the doors were a number of offices where my dad was waiting for me. I didn’t know where I was supposed to be going, but I knew he would know.
"Hi, Sarah," Dad greeted me. "Are you ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be," I smiled back at him.
There were a number of people whom I was introduced to next. Many of them were either prominent managers of the mall or store owners. I greeted each of them, but like with most people whom I met as Sarah, there was no way that I could remember their names.
Then I was led down a narrow hallway that led to the Plaza. Our local mall was based around a circular, outdoor plaza. There was a small cafe and some tables along with some other amenities and stores on the first floor, and the second and third floors opened up and looked down on the Plaza too. I figured that the edges of all three levels would be packed with people when the time came for the concert, but for now it wasn't any busier than it normally was.
I had only made it two steps into the plaza before somebody nearby screamed. I cringed and covered my ears while turning to see a girl and her friends staring at me like they couldn't believe I was standing there. Then they rushed forward toward me.
"Sarah! Can I get your autograph?" one yelled and shoved a piece of paper at me. I smirked while reaching for it and the pen she was digging for. I signed the paper, and was reaching for another when Dad stopped me.
"You're signing autographs all afternoon, Sarah," Dad told me. He sounded slightly upset. "We need to get some other things done first. Please come."
I frowned at him. I had never turned down an autograph before. Yes, I'd be signing a lot of them later, but that didn't mean these girls were going to be there.
"Sorry, girls," I told them, eliciting a disappointed moan from those who didn't get an autograph. "Come back this evening though, if you can."
I felt bad as I stepped away from them and followed my dad the short distance to where a stage had been set up. The guys were once again putting the final touches on their equipment, and the girls were nowhere to be seen. I suspected they were around though.
"Hi, guys," I greeted them. They each stopped what they were doing and smiled at me.
"Hi, Sarah," they each replied. Then Jason spoke. "Are you ready to get back on stage?"
"Very much so," I told him. Apparently he could see the longing on my face because he started laughing. "Oh, by the way, I want to get you guys to sign my copy of the album before you guys leave, okay?"
"Okay," Jason said. "We'd like you to return the favor if you could."
"Of course," I replied. The band and I had been through so much in the short time we had known each other. I'd do almost anything for them. "Where are the girls?"
Jason rolled his eyes at me like I should already know that answer before pointing at the entrance to Bloomingdale's that was right off the Plaza. He was right - I should have known.
The guys went back to setting up their equipment and I sat on a nearby bench to wait for the sound check to start. I did not know why Dad was in such a rush to get me away from those girls who wanted my autograph, because now all I was doing was sitting there. Ethan sat down next to me, but I couldn't get him interested in any type of conversation and we sat next to each other silently. It was frustrating.
Eventually Sophie and Holly showed up sporting a couple of shopping bags. They looked embarrassed when they realized that we had been waiting for them, but soon I was up on stage with them. As I sang through 'Friends Forever' that Stacy had picked for the sound check I watched people scramble to find a place to watch us.
Then I noticed Ethan sitting on the same bench I had been sitting on a few minutes before. He may not have been one of the co-writers of this song, but I had hoped that it would apply to him too. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. Perhaps there was still hope for us.
When I finished singing the song, there was a pretty good applause returned. If this small sampling was any indication, the full concert this afternoon was going to be a blast.
The wait between the sound check and the concert was horrible. The girls went to do more shopping, but I was stuck sitting in one of the offices where nobody could see me. I seriously considered taking off the wig and joining them, but I knew that would be too risky. At least I had my Jive and my phone to keep me occupied for part of the time. If I'd known that it would be that boring waiting all alone, I would have brought a book. I had no idea where the guys spent the time in between. Even Ethan abandoned me.
But Emily was kind enough to help alleviate some of the boredom. She dragged Ethan back down and ate lunch with me while she was on her break, confirming my suspicion that Ethan had been with her. We texted back and forth a bit while she was working, but the closer we got to the concert the less time she had to talk. Apparently the store's sales were starting to boom in anticipation of the CD signing.
When Dad finally showed up to escort me back out to the Plaza, I nearly screamed with relief. I knew I'd need to be more prepared for these waits in the future.
"How are you doing, Princess?" Dad asked me as we approached the door leading out to the Plaza.
"I was bored silly before, but now I'm really excited," I replied. I was too. I could hear the crowd now that we were at the doors. They weren't nearly as loud as the crowd in Salt Lake City had been at this point, but there were enough people out there that I knew it would be a busy signing session afterward.
"Good," he replied. "Wait here for a moment. Someone from the mall is going to introduce you before you go out."
Before I could respond, I heard a voice over the speakers.
"How is everyone doing today?" the feminine voice yelled into the microphone. A loud roar was the reply. When the noise died down, she continued. "Before we bring Sarah out, there are a few announcements that need to be made. First, we ask that everyone please be courteous to the other mall patrons and the facilities during and after the concert. We love to put on these shows for you, but we can't keep doing it if the facilities are not taken care of. Second, when the concert is over, please proceed to your next destination in an orderly manner. I know many of you will be heading for 'The Treble with Music' for the CD signing. Please wait your turn and have some patience. Sarah will be here for at least two hours and that should be plenty of time for everyone to get a chance to meet her. Okay?"
There was a chorus of responses, mostly positive, before she continued. "Now, if you'll all join me in welcoming Sarah Carerra!"
The crowd roared again as Dad opened the door onto the Plaza. Immediately the rush started to increase at the noise levels directed my way. I stepped out the door and noticed that there was a small corridor between me and the stage that had been kept clear. I quickly walked through it and climbed up the short stairs onto the stage where the band was waiting for me. I stepped up to the microphone, but there was too much noise to say anything over the cheering of the crowd.
Eventually the noise started to die down, and I was able to start the show. "Welcome to the debut concert for my new album!" I yelled. I'd hoped to get more out, but they started cheering again afterward. I had to wait patiently until it died down once again.
"When my manager asked me if I wanted to do a concert and a signing session today, there was only one place that came to mind," I told the crowd. "I've been shopping at this mall for most of my life, and it seemed like a natural place to spend some time with you all." They roared again, and I felt the smile on my face widen as I waited to continue.
"My life has completely changed over the summer," I said when they had quieted once again. "Some of it good, some of it bad. This is one of the good parts."
I briefly stepped back from the microphone, but the boom of Stacy's drums filled the air immediately. I stepped back up to the microphone when Jason joined in with his tune, and it wasn't much longer before I debuted 'My Life' for the assembled crowd. I had written this song about the feelings I'd had the night after my first concert. It was an apt beginning for how I was feeling today.
That feeling continued as we performed five more songs for the assembled crowd. I sang them 'Intuition' second, followed by the two love songs 'Open Your Eyes' and 'Ever After'. 'Ever After' got the reception I expected after the emotional display I had made on national TV when the Salt Lake City concert had been replayed. I didn't know if Emily was watching, but I knew she probably felt it too. I then introduced the crowd to 'Turn Around' before it quieted once again.
"I told you at the beginning that there were good and bad things that have happened to me this summer," I said to the crowd. That seemed to be enough to tell them what was coming next, because a small cheer ran through them. "Most of you know the bad side of this next song, but in truth it has become one of the most positive experiences of my life. Not only did it build up my confidence, but it also allowed me to learn how to deal with the pressure of living in the spotlight. Thank you all, and I look forward to meeting each and every one of you in 'The Treble with Music'."
There was a small groan of disappointment when the crowd realized that we were already on the last song, but that quickly turned to another cheer when the opening notes of 'You Can't Hurt Me' started coming from the band. After watching the music video last night, I knew that this was one of the songs that would stick with me for the rest of my life. I could feel the inner fire within me burning brighter than ever before as I sang the song for them.
As the song came to an end, the mall erupted into the loudest roar I had heard all night. I basked in the rush that was overwhelming me for only a moment before two police officers were at the bottom of the stage to escort me up to the store. The crowd was still roaring as I gave them one last wave and stepped off the stage.
It only took me a couple of steps to realize why they wanted me off the stage so quickly. I had thought there might be a back hallway they would take me down or something, but instead the two police officers started moving Dad and me toward the nearby elevators. If I was going to get to the store through the throng of people headed in the same direction, it was going to take some time. People would try to approach me as we moved, but the two police officers kept me between them and didn't let anyone get close enough to impede our progress. I knew that there would be plenty of time for them to meet me at the store, so I tried not to slow us down either.
The elevator ride up to the second floor was somewhat of a relief as we had the entire elevator to ourselves. But it wasn't long before we were back in the crowd and trying to make our way to the store. The closer we got, the harder it was to keep moving. We slowed down quite a bit, but most people were willing to move out of the way when they realized who was trying to get through.
The line for the CD signing was already out of the store and around the nearby corner. I was worried about not having enough time to see everyone. I had already told my dad that I wanted to stay longer if there was still a line after the two hours we had specified. He didn't seem to like that idea, but I didn't want to leave anyone upset about not getting a chance to see me.
When I stepped into 'The Treble with Music' there was a small cheer from the people who were waiting at the front of the line. I was led to the back of the store where I had seen the table set up the other day. I smiled at Emily as I passed by the checkout counter. It looked like there were a lot of boxes behind her that held the CDs. The fans in the line would be able to purchase their CD before continuing down the line to where I was sitting. I was sure there were even those who weren't buying a CD who would still have me sign a poster or some other memorabilia that they had.
I was happy to take a seat behind the table. The two police officers stood nearby, Dad sat down next to me, and before I was even settled in we were approached by a man.
"Sarah," he greeted me excitedly. "Thank you so much for agreeing to do the signing here. I'm Jeffery Chambers, owner of 'The Treble with Music'."
"Hi, Jeffery," I greeted him with a large smile. I'd met him a couple of weeks ago as Megan, but never as Sarah. "It's nice to meet you. Thank you for the opportunity."
"It's my pleasure," Jeffery replied. I grinned back. It was obvious that this whole thing would give his store a big boost in sales. I would have been shocked if he wasn't pleased.
He left shortly afterward, and the first fan approached me. She was probably about my age and had a huge smile on her face.
"This is so totally awesome!" she exclaimed with one of the largest smiles I had ever seen. I smiled back as I took the CD from her. "I'm your biggest fan!"
"What's your name?" I asked her while uncapping the permanent marker that my dad handed me.
"Brittany," she replied. Dad had already told me that I didn't have enough time to personalize any of the messages in my autographs, and I had to struggle to only sign my name before returning the CD to her.
"It's nice to meet you, Brittany," I replied. Then she was ushered away. It was much too brief of an encounter with one of my fans, but it needed to be quick if I was going to get through all of them before my time was up.
The signing session continued in that vein for the next hour. I saw a number of people I knew from school or from church. I had to force a smile on my face when some of the football players and cheerleaders who had given me a hard time at school showed up in line. But the smile I gave Ms. Carson, one of my teachers, was completely genuine.
"Hi, Austin," I smiled at my brother as he stepped up to the table with his new girlfriend. "Hi, Susan."
"Hi, Sarah!" Susan said excitedly. Once again she was the blubbering girl I had first met as Sarah instead of the confident girl I had been introduced to as Megan. Austin had an unexcited look on his face that told me he couldn't wait to get out of there, so I quickly signed the CD case Susan slid my way and let him lead her away.
It wasn't long afterward that I had the first major shock of the day. I had just signed for a beautiful little blonde girl and looked up to see who was next.
"Paul!" I exclaimed, louder than I wanted to. It was the wrong thing to do, because he froze in place immediately. Paul Johnson was a friend from school. He had been my lab partner in Biology. Then, on yearbook day just over a month ago, I had confronted him when I'd seen him eyeing me over lunch. Paul was deathly afraid of girls. The fact that I was now a girl had made him very nervous when I had sat down across the table from him that day. But we were still friends, and I had at least gotten him to talk to me.
I couldn't believe that he was here though! Standing in line to get an autograph from a female celebrity was the last place on earth I would have expected to find him! He would have had to stand in line for over an hour to make it to me. I couldn't believe that he hadn't chickened out at some point. I was so proud of him!
It looked like he hadn't completely conquered his fears, because he was standing at the front of the line with an expression on his face that told me he wasn't going to be moving anytime soon. I had tripped his alarm response when I called out his name.
"It's okay," I told him, hoping it would help. It didn't. "You are Paul Johnson, right? Megan's friend?"
Invoking my real name seemed to help. He took a small step forward, and then another. I was smiling proudly at him as he finally reached me.
"How...How do you know my name?" he stuttered. Some of the fear started to encroach on his face again, but started to dissipate when he saw my kind smile.
"I know Megan pretty well," I told him. "We've met before, at her house. Before this, anyway," I said while motioning around me to indicate the craziness of Sarah's life. It wasn't a complete lie, even if it wasn't the whole truth.
"She's talked about you before," I continued. "She said that you were one of the nicest persons she has ever met, but that you are really shy. I'm sorry I scared you like that when I called out your name. I was just surprised to see you here!" I was beaming again. I could even feel tears start to well up in my eyes that I immediately pushed back down. Crying in front of him would not be the best thing to do, but I was so happy that he had made the effort to come down here to meet me! It was a big step forward for him.
He looked speechless, and I was afraid I had overdone it for a moment. Before he was able to talk, we were interrupted.
"Hurry it up," one of the store employees said. His name tag said Tony, but I hadn't been introduced to him at all. He was the one helping to make sure that the line flowed quickly. Paul jumped at his words, and turned to go.
"Paul, wait!" I said quickly. He turned back to me with fear in his eyes. I knew that he didn't want to get in any trouble, and he would want to get out of here quickly now. "I haven't signed your CD yet."
He looked down at the CD case still clutched in his hands like he didn't even know it was there. I smiled up at him, and he held it out to me. Despite what Dad had told me to do earlier, I wrote 'I'm so proud of you' before signing my name. Then I handed it back to him.
"Thank you for coming, Paul," I said. I was rewarded with one of the largest smiles I had ever seen Paul give to someone. I didn't know why he had decided to come down here today. I didn't know what had prevented him from leaving before he made it to me. But that smile told me that he had accomplished something today. He had grown closer to the type of person I'd hoped to be able to bring out in him.
And inside of that smile, I saw his own ‘thank you’ returned to me. He didn't say anything else before he turned and walked out of the store. My eyes followed him the whole way. The guy that had been standing behind him was not happy that my attention was still elsewhere when I turned to sign his CD.
"Hey!" he screamed while slamming his palm onto the table. I know I shrieked at the surprise of his move, but before I could do anything else, the two police officers were on either side of the boy, holding him by the arms. I knew without a doubt now that 'boy' definitely described the male in front of me, even if he was my own age.
"Johnny!" I screamed back at him. "What was that for?"
Johnny Crawford's sneer was unmistakable. He was really mad at me.
"You know this boy, ma'am?" one of the police officers asked me.
I reluctantly nodded. "Unfortunately," I replied. "He's the son of my representative with the record company." The officers started to let go of him at my statement, which was not what I wanted. "He was just leaving, though." I had to suppress the smile that started to curl my lips when the officers’ grips tightened instead.
"You can't kick me out!" he spat at me. "You have to sign my CD! If you don't, my dad will fire you!"
"No, I don't," I replied calmly. "Your dad told you to stay away from me. I don't think he would be upset at my refusal. Bye, Johnny."
The two police officers started moving him toward the door to the store, but it wasn't easy. If he got any more rowdy, I expected the officers to charge him with something.
I sighed. I wished I knew what was going on in that boy's head. I had no idea why he seemed to be so obsessed with me. But one thing was becoming clear to me: Johnny Crawford did not like it when he didn't get his way. But I didn’t care.
"Are you okay?" Dad asked me. I looked over at him. The concern creasing his eyes was evident, and I could feel the love and support behind them.
I nodded. "Yeah, I just don't like that boy at all."
"He has been giving you a lot of problems this summer," he replied. "I'll talk to Scott about him. Perhaps there is something that we can do to alleviate the situation."
"Thank you," I replied with a smile. I really hoped that I didn't have to deal with Johnny when school started again.
I was in a slight slump after that. I tried to be nice to the fans who followed Johnny, but it was getting more difficult as the time wore on. We were approaching the two-hour mark, and I was seriously considering stopping at the appointed time instead of continuing on.
But that all changed a few minutes later. A large smile broke out on my face as the next people in line stepped toward me. I knew immediately that I wasn't going to be stopping at two hours. It was because of fans like these that made this whole thing worthwhile. I wasn't going to let Johnny ruin that.
"Hi, Tracy," I greeted my cousin warmly. She returned my smile, and I looked over at her husband. He was astonished, and I knew immediately that Tracy had told him my secret. Dad would be unhappy about that, but I was okay with him knowing. Like Tracy, he was a lot of fun to hang around with. "Hi, Mark."
Amazingly, his eyes became even wider at my greeting. Obviously he still harbored some doubts about me as they approached the front of the line, but I had just confirmed that I knew him.
"I..." he started before pausing. "I never would have guessed," he finally said. I laughed, which caused him to laugh with me. "I thought you were good on Sunday, but today...Wow!"
"Hurry up, Sarah!" we were interrupted by Tony. He'd been doing that every time I took a little extra time with somebody. And I was tired of it.
"I'll take as much time as I want, Tony!" I shot back at him. The frustration I'd had at seeing Johnny came spilling out at him. It was unfortunate, but it had the desired effect. He closed his mouth and stepped back as he realized that I was the one in charge of the line, not him.
I turned back to Tracy. "Where's Heather?" I asked. Now that I had decided that I would be staying late, it was nice to have a short break and talk for a couple of minutes.
"She's at my Mom's house," she replied. "Mark and I thought we'd make it a date afternoon. We had lunch together before coming over to watch you perform."
I laughed lightly. I never would have thought that I would be a date for my cousin! "I'm glad I could help," I told them, which got them to laugh with me again.
Tracy then handed me two copies of my CD. I looked at her curiously while uncapping the marker again. "I told Katy I would get her one," she explained. "She wanted to come, but she had dance class."
"Ok," I replied and started writing on the first CD. "Tracy, Mark, and Heather, Thank you for everything," I said while writing. Then I signed my name and handed them the CD. Then I started writing on Katy's before handing the second CD case to them. Tracy took a look at it and started laughing. Mark did the same after he'd read it.
"Sarah, you are wicked!" she exclaimed before they turned to leave. They'd had the longest interaction with me of any fan yet, and I could see Tony getting antsy again. "Let's do lunch again, okay?"
I smiled and nodded back at her before the two of them walked away, still chuckling.
"What did you write?" Dad asked curiously.
"I just told Katy that I was the best friend she didn't know she had," I said with a straight face. That got Dad laughing too. Katy was going to be really mad when she found out about my secret, but in the meantime I was going to have fun with her.
That short time with my family reinvigorated me and gave me the energy to continue the signing. It was another 45 minutes before we were finally able to make our way out of the store and toward the door where my limo was waiting for me. I even had to stop three times to give another autograph on the way. But by the time I sagged into the back seat, I was more than ready to go to bed.
My wrist hurt, and I was tired. But I was happy that I'd had this opportunity. I loved my fans!
The Bad News
I won't sugarcoat it. This will be the last chapter of Sarah Carerra posted for a while.
When I started writing this story, I had no idea that it would become such a big part of my life. I can't go a full day without having some kind of idea for the story pop into my head. I love this story. I love writing this story. I love reading your comments and seeing how my story can bring a moment of entertainment to you. I thrive on it.
So why am I stopping?
Truthfully, I'm not. I have nine projects that I am currently working on right now. Most of them do not get much time. Sarah takes up a lot of my available time, and I know the fans of A Flower's Bloom may be jealous of the story for that reason. I have other stories that I want to finish and give to you too. I'm even trying to write a non-transgender book with the hope of getting it published. But none of these are the reason why Sarah is taking a break.
Life is.
I try to stay ten chapters ahead in Sarah Carerra to prevent things like this from happening. But the muse isn't always there, and I had started to get behind. Then December happened. December caused my life to get hectic. Between work and school and family, I didn't get much time to write. I had hoped to get a lot done over the holiday break, but that turned out not to happen as I got to spend some rare time with my sister who lives two states away. Every week as I've posted a new chapter and watched the end of what I had ready to publish loom ever closer, I've gotten more and more depressed at my inability to find the time to write. I'm truly sorry that it has come to this, it wasn't my plan.
What happens now?
I'm writing still. I have three more chapters of Sarah written, and I'm working to get two more before I send them off to my editor. I started dedicating time every day to sit down and write. So far my muse has cooperated and that time has been spent on Sarah. I believe that it will continue to be. My hope is that this break will only be for three or four weeks. That seems like a long time now, but I hope it will be shorter. I will leave updates at www.sarahcarerra.com.
Thank you for your continued support. I couldn't do this without you guys, and I hope that I can return to posting a new chapter each week quickly. My life will be empty without something to share in the upcoming weeks.
Sincerely,
Megan
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Sarah Carerra
Book 2 - Interlude by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: February 28, 2011 |
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Interlude
It has taken me longer than I expected to get to this point. I want to thank everyone that has waited patiently for more Sarah Carerra. I'm sorry I had to make you wait.
I came really close to being able to post a new chapter this morning. But there are a few things I need to finish before I can do that, and I will have them done in the next couple of days.
Sarah Carerra will return Monday, March 7, 2011.
The last few weeks have been amazing. Chapters have been flowing out of my head freely, and I hope that continues for the forseeable future. I love this story. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of something I want to add or what will happen next. I wish I could write faster, but alas this is the best I can do.
Book 2 is now longer than book 1, and it is only about 2/3 complete. I've also really started narrowing down what is going to happen in Book 3. I even have a few ideas for a 4th book. So there is still plenty of Megan/Sarah's story left to tell. I hope you'll bear with me and enjoy the ride.
I didn't want to leave everyone disappointed that another chapter wasn't posted today, so I've compiled a few paragraphs that will give you an idea of what will happen in the next five chapters. Enjoy.
"You are expected," I mocked sarcastically while driving up the short lane to the roundabout in front of the home. I was beginning to think this was a bad idea again. I hadn't wanted to attend a formal dinner, but if Josh's aunt and uncle employed a butler, they probably had a whole staff on hand to make this a high society dinner.
The house itself was something I had only ever seen in movies before. I knew that my family lived in a nice house that would get us a pretty penny if we ever sold it, but this place put to shame the home I'd known my entire life. I was really intimidated as I stepped out of my car and approached the front door. I really wished I had Mom and Dad, or even Emily or Ethan with me to help keep me from turning and running away.
My lips instinctively tightened at his words. Austin and I had never really gotten along very well before my life changed so drastically early this summer. But looking at him now, I knew that he had looked up to me. Seeing me become his sister had to have been hard. We'd talked about it some after my first concert, but I knew that he had to be struggling still. He truly had tried to impress me during the game, and I realized that he wanted me to look up to him just as much as he was looking up to me.
As we approached the stage, a few screams of excitement came from those sitting nearby as they caught sight of me, but I concentrated on preparing myself. I'd done this enough times that my nervousness was very weak, but it would always be there. The day I wasn't nervous to take the stage was the day I died. However, I knew that there wasn't much to be worried about. I had done this before and I would do it many times again.
There was a flicker of something in Josh's eye. We were staring at each other, inches apart at the end of the song, and I noticed something.
With a great amount of trepidation, I got out of my car and headed for the front door. Ringing the doorbell was almost enough to make me want to head back home. I hadn't had to face anyone who knew me as my old self in over a month and a half.
I pulled into the gas station where we normally filled up without a second thought. It wasn't until I saw the little girl gradually getting closer and closer to me while I waited for the gas to flow into the car that I realized this was the first time I had stopped for gas as Sarah.
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The house itself was something I had only ever seen in movies before. I knew that my family lived in a nice house that would get us a pretty penny if we ever sold it, but this place put to shame the home I'd known my entire life. I was really intimidated as I stepped out of my car and approached the front door. I really wished I had Mom and Dad, or even Emily or Ethan with me to help keep me from turning and running away.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.26 - Lucky Girl by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: March 7, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.26 - Lucky Girl
I woke up Friday morning with one of the most satisfied feelings I had ever experienced coursing through my veins! Getting up on stage and performing yesterday left me with a fire burning in my body. That fire was the power that kept me returning again and again to sing in front of a crowd.
But if the rush was the fire, interacting with the fans at the CD signing was the fuel. I had never had an experience like that in my life! Two hours and forty-five minutes of fan after fan excited for the short chance to meet me.
And I got to meet them. I'd seen the numbers, I'd heard the news, but I had never fully understood my popularity until last night. Young and old, male and female, it didn't matter. There were fans from almost every walk of life represented by the many people whom I met yesterday. I felt honored to have that privilege, and I knew that it was something I needed to cherish.
As I got ready for the day, that feeling continued to stir around inside me. Eventually, that feeling started to mesh into a tune. Then the tune started to morph into a song. I was proud of the way that I had overcome my fears to get up on stage that first time at Johnny's house. I was proud of my ability to walk out on the stage in Salt Lake City and perform a concert without any prior experience. But I was also proud of the way that Paul had taken a step forward and come to the CD signing.
If ever there was a person who was scared to live life, it was Paul. I didn't know why he was so shy and so timid. I couldn't understand why he had chosen that moment to take a step outside of his shell. All I knew was that moment, along with the feeling I had at conquering my own fears, needed to flow out of my head.
I stepped into Sarah's room and grabbed my guitar case and the notebook I wrote my songs in. Sitting down on the couch, I did the only thing I could with those feelings and thoughts. I poured them onto paper. The song in my head had a really nice, upbeat sound that I couldn't fully write by myself. But I put down what I could and I knew that the band would help me put the rest down later.
Mom interrupted me just as I finished the song, and I smiled at her as she entered.
"How are you doing?" she asked while stepping into the room.
"Great!" I replied while setting my guitar back in its case. "I just wrote another song! Did you know that Paul came to the CD signing?"
"Paul Johnson?" Mom asked astonished. I nodded and smiled. Paul had been over to our house many times when we were lab partners, but he hadn't come by since I became Megan. "Why was he there?"
"I don't know!" I said. "He was the last person I expected to see, and I nearly frightened him away when I gasped his name."
Mom smiled. She knew just how timid and shy Paul was. She seemed to share some of my wonder at his unexpected appearance.
"I think I'm going to take him some tickets to the OC Fair," I continued. "I think he'd like to come, and I'd like to see him there. If he's sitting with you guys, then he'll be okay too."
Mom nodded. "I think that he'd like that. I always did like him. You could do worse, you know."
I blushed immediately. Paul was a friend, and I'd never thought of him as anything else! I didn't know why Mom would jump to that type of conclusion!
"Mom!" I finally found my voice. "He's just a friend!"
She smiled back at me. Then I realized that she likely had made the statement to see how I would react. I had proven that I was interested in boys that first night I had gone out with Josh. We'd discussed that pretty heavily afterward. She probably wondered if I was finally moving past the boy whom I had a crush on.
I sighed. I was supposed to go to dinner with Josh tonight, but I knew that he didn't want to have that type of relationship with Sarah. At the concert he was really interested in me as Megan, but he hadn't even tried to contact her during his stay in Los Angeles. Perhaps he no longer had any feelings for me whatsoever.
That was a depressing thought.
"Megan," Mom said and wrapped me in her arms after seeing my reaction. "You've never really had a crush on anyone before. Josh is your first. The first one is always the worst when you finally move on. Josh is a good kid, but getting involved with him would be...complicated."
"I know, Mom," I said, trying to hold back the tears that had already begun to spill out. I knew that Josh had probably moved on - I just hadn't accepted that thought. Having her point it out was not what I wanted her to do. "Maybe I should just cancel dinner."
"I wouldn't do that, Honey," she said. "I know it will be tough to see him, but it will teach you how to deal with the situation, and I'm sure your father will be upset with the ramifications it might have on your career."
Her words made sense, but they didn't make me feel any better. I knew that I had to go to dinner to help support the idea that we would be working together. We had already agreed to sing duet at one of his concerts, and Dad had already been talking about having him show up at one of mine. Shunning Josh for the way he was making me feel could seriously diminish our ability to work together. I smiled wanly at her and nodded.
"Come have a light snack," Mom said to me. "It's already two and I don't think you even ate breakfast." My stomach growled to prove her point. "Besides, your dad has something he wants to tell you. He's been excited all morning, but he didn't want to interrupt the song."
That got my attention, and my tears started to dry up. I nodded again and reached down to close the guitar case before I stood up and followed Mom out to the kitchen.
Dad was sitting at the kitchen table eating a sandwich when we arrived, and I noticed that there were two more plates waiting for us. I sat down next to them and took a bite of my sandwich.
"Hi, Princess," Dad said to me with an excited smile on his face. "Did you finish the song?"
I finished chewing before I responded. "As much as I can alone. I want to get together with the band and finish it so we can use it on the tour."
Dad nodded. "We'll need to come up with some other songs too if we want to fill the show's timeframe. We might have to do some covers, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing."
"Okay," I replied and took another bite.
"Your album was quite a hit yesterday," he said next. From the excitement on his face I knew that this was what he had been waiting to tell me. "Megan, you sold 428,000 albums yesterday! That's phenomenal for a first album!"
I stopped chewing. 428,000 copies? That was a staggering number! I hadn't had any real idea how many would sell, but that number was way higher than I thought it would be!
I just stared at Dad before I responded. "Are you serious?" I asked after forcing myself to swallow.
"Yes," he replied. That same smile I had seen when I sat down was still plastered on his face. "I told you that you had potential! This just proves it. I'm so proud of you!"
I didn't know what to say! I was completely in shock, and I couldn’t think of anything else to do except continue to eat. 428,000!
By the time I was done eating, Mom and Dad had showered me with compliments and encouragements. I was still in a daze as I returned to Sarah's room and spent the afternoon going over the songs that Josh and I would be practicing later in the evening.
I still hadn't fully recovered from that news when I stepped back out of Sarah's room after putting on a nice, but not too formal, dress for dinner.
Since I was dressed and ready, I was surprised to find my parents in the front room watching TV together. Neither of them was dressed or ready for dinner.
"Aren't you guys getting ready?" I asked with concern. I didn't want to be late. Despite what I had talked to Mom about earlier, I hoped that I still had a chance with Josh, in one identity or the other.
Mom turned around and smiled slightly at me. That smile told me everything, and my shoulders slumped at the knowledge that I would be braving my feelings for Josh alone this evening. My parents weren't coming.
"Why not?" I asked before she replied. Josh had invited both me and my family! They had every right to be there!
"Honey, Josh invited your family. We aren't Sarah's family." Her response made my stomach fall. I knew there was a separation between my parents and Sarah. That was for my own protection. If they were linked to Sarah as her parents, then it was only a simple task for someone to realize that Sarah and Megan were the same person.
I glared at her, and without another word to them I walked out to my car and started driving toward Josh's house.
This day had started out with one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. Now I had sunk into the pit of despair. I never thought that I would feel betrayed and deserted by my own parents!
"How can I help you?" came the refined voice from the callbox at the gate entering into Josh's relatives’ house. When he said they lived in Beverly Hills, I expected a mansion, but I still wasn't prepared for what I found.
"Sarah Carerra," I replied. "I'm here for dinner."
"You are expected," the voice returned. This statement sounded nasally. The gate started to open and I rolled up my window before driving forward.
"You are expected," I mocked sarcastically while driving up the short lane to the roundabout in front of the home. I was beginning to think this was a bad idea again. I hadn't wanted to attend a formal dinner, but if Josh's aunt and uncle employed a butler, they probably had a whole staff on hand to make this a high society dinner.
The house itself was something I had only ever seen in movies before. I knew that my family lived in a nice house that would get us a pretty penny if we ever sold it, but this place put to shame the home I'd known my entire life. I was really intimidated as I stepped out of my car and approached the front door. I really wished I had Mom and Dad, or even Emily or Ethan with me to help keep me from turning and running away.
The door opened before I reached it, and Josh was standing there with a smile on his face that melted the idea to run straight out of my mind. If he was here, I would be okay. He was dressed much the same way I was: nice, but not formal. He had on a pair of slacks and a button up shirt, though the lack of a tie told me that I didn't have to worry about fitting into high society this evening.
"Hi, Sarah," he said with that voice that started to make my legs all wobbly again. How was I supposed to get over him when he had that kind of an effect on me?
"Hi, Josh," I replied. It sounded slightly too love-struck to my ears, though. Thankfully, he didn't seem to catch the tone in my voice. But the person standing next to him did. I watched her lips tighten at the knowledge that I still had feelings for her brother, even if he wasn't returning them. "Hi, Amanda," I said to her. Amanda Holliday and I had gotten to know each other pretty well on the flight to Salt Lake City for the concert, and I was happy to see her again.
"Hi, Sarah!" she replied excitedly and stepped forward to give me a hug. That was unexpected, but it turned out not to be awkward at all. When she let go, I saw that Josh's lips had tightened much like hers had. I had the sudden impression that he was jealous of his sister. Well, it was his own fault that he wasn't getting his own hug!
"Where's your family?" Josh asked me next.
"They couldn't make it," I replied. It was my turn to tighten my lips as I thought of how I had felt abandoned by my parents. I knew that it was for my own good, but that didn’t stop me from wishing that they were here.
Josh frowned, but stepped back to let me inside. "Come on inside. Dinner is almost ready, and we have a lot to do tonight if we are going to be ready for tomorrow."
I nodded and stepped into the house after him. The inside of the house was just as immaculate as the outside, and I felt out of place immediately. The opulence that was displayed was off-putting, and I wondered how long I would have to endure it to get out of here.
Just inside the door were two other people waiting for us. I first turned my attention to Josh's mom, Annie. She gave me a welcoming hug. I had also gotten to know her fairly well during the concert, and it was nice to have a few friendly faces here.
The second person was a boy. He looked to be about Amanda's age, and I guessed he must be their cousin. He had that same look on his face that most of the teenage boys had when they met me.
"Sarah, this is Steven," Josh said when it was apparent that Steven wasn't going to talk for himself. "He's my cousin. Believe it or not, he is an only child."
An only child...in this huge house? Talk about overkill. I could see wanting to have a nice place, but this mansion must have had like 80 rooms. Too much for a family of three, if you asked me.
He smiled at me. "You are expected," he deadpanned in the same tone as the butler had on the voice box outside. I started laughing out loud when I realized that it was the same voice.
"Okay, you got me," I said when I finally was able to talk again. I was still chuckling, and I noticed that the slightly scared expression he'd had at meeting me was now gone. He had broken the ice. "It's nice to meet you, Steven."
"The pleasure is mine," he replied. He looked innocent enough when he said it, but it was dripping with the feelings I knew he was having about me. I wasn't too keen on continuing that type of discussion.
We were then led into the dining room where I met Josh's aunt and uncle. Uncle Ned and Aunt Karen weren't much for words, and they almost seemed somewhat put out that I was in their home. We sat down quickly and dinner was served. It seemed they felt that the sooner they were finished and didn't have to interact with me, the better.
Dinner was nice. The food was excellent, but the companionship was only so so. Josh and his family, and even Steven, were very kind, but discussion was stifled primarily by Steven's parents. I was not sure why they agreed to let me visit if this was how they felt. I sincerely hoped for Steven's sake that they weren't like this all of the time.
After dinner was over, the two of them quickly retired to a different part of the house, and the rest of us found ourselves in a study that had a pretty nice sound system.
"This is where I work on my music when I'm in town," Josh told me while I sat down on a plush couch. "I thought it would be a good place to practice the songs for tomorrow."
I looked around. Sarah's room had become the place where I most often worked on my own songs. It was very feminine and soothing to me. This place was the opposite. It wasn't blatantly masculine. But it was definitely a room that would be better suited for a guy than a girl. Overall, it was a nice, cozy place to work on music. He could have done a lot worse.
"It's nice," I replied, garnering a smile from him. Josh walked over to the music system and pressed a button. 'Lucky' started playing immediately, and without any preamble Josh started singing the first verse. I smiled, and when it came my turn, I joined him.
My feelings were conflicted as I sang the song with him for the first time. It was a love song, and as I watched his eyes as we sang, I clearly saw that he was attracted to me. If he had those types of feelings for me, why didn't he act on them? He knew that I was interested. All he had to do was to return them.
The second song was better. It was a light-hearted comedy piece that was easier for us to set aside our emotions. We had a lot of fun with it.
The third song, however, was the worst of all. It was a slow, meaningful song. I had to struggle to hold in tears while I sang it with Josh, because I learned the truth while watching his eyes while we sang it. He had feelings for me, but he didn't love me. I could see that clearly now. I doubted that he even loved Megan. What he was returning to me wasn't the same thing that I had been feeling for him. I had hoped that there was still a chance for us to be together, but it was painfully evident to me now that it wasn't going to be in my immediate future.
As we continued to sing and practice throughout the night, Josh knew what I had learned. His concern for me grew as we continued to practice. Fortunately, his family eventually left us alone, and by the time we were finished, I felt exhausted and emotionally spent.
"Sarah," Josh said as I collapsed back down onto the couch. "I'm sorry."
I looked up at him, and as much as it hurt, I smiled. Josh was a good guy. Someday he would make some girl very lucky. But that day wasn't today, and when it happened, I was unlikely to be the girl. It hurt, but there was also relief in my smile. I was happy for him. I knew that we would continue to be friends, and perhaps there would be a chance for more in the future, but I finally was okay with what was happening now.
"It's okay, Josh," I told him. "You don't need to apologize. This isn't your fault."
"Sarah," he said. I knew he didn't agree with my words, but I held up my hand to let him know that he didn't need to say anything more. "Look," he said instead. "You are amazing. I envy the guy who gets to be with you. But that can't be me. Not right now."
"I know," I told him. "But I hope we can still be friends. Is that okay?"
"Of course," he said while finally returning my smile.
This had been one roller coaster of an emotional day. From the wonderful feeling I'd had this morning to the sadness I had felt at leaving my parents at home. But now, it had turned into a good day again. I hadn't lost Josh. I had gained another good friend. Perhaps someday that would mean more, but if it didn't, I was glad for what I had.
I was a lucky girl.
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I loved Austin. I knew that I had been taking a lot of my parents’ attention this summer. I didn't mean to make him feel left out at all.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.27 - We Love You Too, Austin! by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: March 14, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.27 - We Love You Too, Austin!
"Megan, wake up," my mom said as she shook me gently Saturday morning.
"Why?" I groaned. I wanted to sleep longer, especially after the emotionally draining night I'd endured with Josh.
"Well for one, you have an appointment with Mary, but I want you to come to Austin's soccer game afterward," she said. "He's starting to feel left out with all that you are doing this summer. It would mean a lot to him if you were there."
I groaned again. I had talked to her about what had happened the night before, and she had been there for me once more. But now she wanted me to be there for someone else. I loved Austin. I knew that I had been taking a lot of my parents’ attention this summer. I didn't mean to make him feel left out at all.
"Okay," I finally managed and threw back the covers to get ready.
I spent the morning with Mary talking about Josh and the feelings that I had about him. I thought that I had come to terms with what had happened the night before, but she made me feel even more comfortable about it.
By the time I pulled up to the park where Austin's soccer game was being played, I already knew it was going to be a great day.
I parked my car and walked to the field where I saw everyone standing and watching. It didn't look like they had started yet, but there were a few people on the field warming up. Eventually, I found my parents and headed their way.
"Oh good, you made it," Mom said when she saw me approaching. She was smiling at me, and a number of people around them turned to look.
"Hi," I said shyly when I realized I was now on display to the other parents who were standing nearby.
"This is Megan?" one woman asked. My mom nodded, and motioned for me to come closer. I walked over to her and she gave me a quick hug.
"Where's Austin?" I asked, partially because I was curious and partially because I wanted to deflect any further discussion about me.
"He's over there," Dad pointed to where one team was standing in a circle.
I smiled when I saw him. "Go Austin!" I yelled and watched as he looked up. Even from across the field, I could see the smile grow across his face.
It wasn't long before the game started. Austin wasn't in at the beginning of the game, but he was substituted in shortly thereafter. Dad said he played forward, but all that seemed to mean was that he was always on the far side of the field from where we were watching.
I cheered my heart out every time the ball was near him, and Austin managed to score three goals during the game, a feat Mom said was very unusual for him. When the game was over and he started walking over to us, he had one of the most excited expressions on his face that I had ever seen.
"Did you see, Megan?" he asked excitedly. "I scored three goals for you!"
"I saw, Austin," I told him and wrapped him in a hug. He was kind of sweaty, but I didn't care. "You were amazing!"
He continued to smile as he got a similar hug from Mom and a manly one from Dad. I hadn't seen him this happy in a while, and I didn't want it to end.
"Come on," Dad finally interrupted our celebration. "We need to get home so that Megan can get ready for tonight."
It was the wrong thing to say. I saw Austin's excitement level drop when the attention focused away from him and back to me. He smiled though. "Can I ride with Megan?" he asked.
It was my turn to smile then. "Of course," I replied.
"Awesome!" he said. "I've always wanted to ride in your car!"
I laughed at his excitement. I'd told him that I'd give him rides when I could, but I had been so busy with Sarah's life that we really hadn't done anything together in a while. We needed to do something else. Something like lunch.
"Alright," Dad agreed to what I had already agreed to. "But Megan, please hurry home. Julia and Stephanie will be over soon, and we need to be at a sound check not long after lunch."
"Okay," I said. "Come on, Austin."
He smiled again with excitement, and we walked toward the parking lot.
"I didn't know you were that good," I told him. "I'm sorry I don't get to come to more of your games."
"It's okay," he said in that tone that usually indicated that it was just the opposite. "You usually have an appointment with Mary anyway."
My lips instinctively tightened at his words. Austin and I had never really gotten along very well before my life changed so drastically early this summer. But looking at him now, I knew that he had looked up to me. Seeing me become his sister had to have been hard. We'd talked about it some after my first concert, but I knew that he had to be struggling still. He truly had tried to impress me during the game, and I realized that he wanted me to look up to him just as much as he was looking up to me.
After we got in the car, we quickly made our way out of the parking lot. I saw Austin look at me quizzically when I turned in the opposite direction from home, but he didn't say anything. It wasn't until I turned down a specific street that his eyes widened.
"Where are we going?" he finally asked. The excitement that had been in his eyes after the game was back when he realized where we were.
"I thought we could get something to eat before we head home. Just you and me," I told him. My smile grew as I watched his eyes open wide. He was practically salivating by the time I pulled into Alfredo's Italian Restaurant. Alfredo's made excellent food, and my whole family loved to come here. But their prices were quite steep, and Mom and Dad rarely were willing to spend what was required to eat there. This time, however, I had plenty of money at my disposal to choose where to eat. I knew how much Austin loved this place.
Stepping out of the car, I realized that Austin wasn't dressed for the place in his soccer uniform, and I hoped that they wouldn't turn us away. It was lunchtime though, so it should be less formal.
Austin was on cloud nine as he opened the door for me and walked into the restaurant behind me. I was happy that I had the ability to give something back to him. He was the best brother that I could have asked for, and he deserved the chance to have opportunities like this.
I walked toward the hostess' booth, and saw the hostess frown as we approached. I might have been dressed well, but it appeared she didn't really approve of Austin's appearance. She turned to me. "Waiting for your parents?"
I choked out the laugh that had formed in my throat at her words. Even without the wig I knew I looked older than my true age of sixteen. But that didn't mean I looked old enough to be able to pay for a meal here.
"No," I told her, causing her frown to deepen. "Austin here had an amazing soccer game, and I thought that he deserved to be taken out to lunch for his efforts."
Austin's eyes widened at my words, and the hostess grimaced. Then I got the feeling that even though she didn't like how he was dressed, that wasn't the real reason that she was concerned.
I sighed and reached for my purse. I knew what this was about. This was another example of when I missed the treatment that Sarah received, but I also knew that this was a part of the life that we were trying to protect with the secret.
"Look," I told her while pulling out my wallet. "I plan to use my debit card to pay for the meal, but if it makes you feel any better, I do have a one hundred dollar bill in my wallet. So I can pay for our meal either way."
I pulled the aforementioned bill out and showed it to her. This place was expensive, but it wasn't that expensive. Immediately, I watched her grimace deepen. This time I knew it was because she felt she might have offended a paying customer.
She looked down at her board, pressed a button, and then turned to the young lady standing next to her. "Certainly. Please follow Jessica. She will show you to your table. Have a good meal."
I smiled kindly back to her, and watched with a small amount of pleasure as her shoulders slumped forward. She had prejudged us, and that was something that I hated when people did it.
Once Austin and I were seated, he dived into the menu immediately. I picked mine up, but before I got a chance to look at what was offered, my phone rang. Knowing who it would be, I did not reach for my purse. Instead, I started looking at the salads. I didn't want to eat anything too heavy if I was going to be on stage tonight.
"Aren’t you going to answer that?" Austin asked after my phone started ringing for a third time.
"No," I replied. "If I did, then Dad would just yell at me to come home. I want to eat lunch with you first. They can wait for me."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? What if Dad grounds you and doesn't let you perform tonight?" Austin asked.
I looked up from my menu and met his eyes. I said quietly, but firmly, "Austin, I spend so much time as Sarah that I rarely get to spend time with the family. When was the last time you and I did something together?" I watched as he started to think about my question. Since he couldn't answer immediately, I knew it had been too long. "See what I mean? You can't even remember."
He seemed to realize then what I was talking about, so I continued. "Dad is my manager, and he's very good at it. But sometimes, he doesn't leave me with enough time to do the things I want to do. Yes, I have a show tonight. That doesn't mean I can't take the time to have lunch with you. I happen to know the sound check isn't until four, and it's only noon. It takes about an hour and a half for Stephanie and Julia to get me ready, and then it will take about 30 to 45 minutes to get downtown. That leaves me with plenty of time to have lunch with my brother."
He smiled and then nodded, and looked back down at his menu. "Besides," I said. "You deserve this after the whooping you gave the other team today. I didn't know that you were that good."
He looked sideways for a moment, clearly uncomfortable at the praises that I was giving him. "I'm not that good," he replied. "I usually don't even score. I'm better at hockey. I wish it was winter so that I could play that instead."
"Well, you could have fooled me," I told him. "You played great today."
"Thanks," he said, blushing. "But I got lucky. Two of those goals I don't even know how they went in."
"Well, I thought you looked better than anyone else out there," I said.
He rolled his eyes at me. "Yeah, but you aren't exactly an expert on sports."
"I know sports!" I argued.
"Yeah, sure," he replied. He was laughing though, and I knew he was right. Even as Brett I hadn't been very interested in sports. I'd watch them with Dad and Austin occasionally, but I never really cared much about who won or anything.
"I guess you're right," I finally conceded. "But I still thought you looked great."
"You're just saying that because you're my sister," he replied. "You have to say that."
I laughed. I'd missed Austin.
"Look, Austin," I told him a moment later. "I'm sorry for taking so much of Mom’s and Dad's attention this summer. I never in my wildest dreams thought that something like this would happen to me. But when I get up on stage, it's the most wonderful feeling I've ever experienced. I'm sorry how much it has disrupted what you wanted to do this summer. I know you had hoped to go camping with Dad."
"It's okay, Megan," he replied with a sigh. "I'm jealous sometimes, but when I hear you sing, all of that goes away. You are amazing! I would feel bad if anything I did kept you from singing and sharing that with all of your fans. I mean, I wish I could go tonight. But I guess there will always be the tour. It will be fun to see some of the country, even if it means missing some of the soccer season."
I smiled at him. That sounded so mature coming from a fourteen-year-old. He really was growing up.
"Well, we have a week in New York," I told him. "I want you to find something there that you really want to do, and we'll go and do it, okay? No matter what, I promise that we will do it."
"You mean it?" he asked excitedly. "Anything?"
"Anything," I replied.
"Megan, you're the best!" he exclaimed, causing me to chuckle at his enthusiasm.
"No, Austin," I said in return. "You are." Then I reached across the table and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed immediately, but I knew he felt the same way when our eyes connected again.
"Where have you been?!" Mom screamed.
"We stopped to get some lunch," I replied defensively. I had expected my dad to be mad, especially after seeing Julia's car in the driveway when we pulled in. But the reaction from my mom was unexpected. I expected her to be upset too, but I just wasn't expecting such a strong reaction.
"Why didn't you answer your phone?!" she continued to scream at me. "Do you know how worried I was? You could have been in an accident or something!"
"Mom! Don't yell!" Austin yelled back at her. "She wanted to take me to lunch and spend some time with me! She has plenty of time to get ready!"
Mom turned back toward me without responding to him. "Answer the question!"
"Mom," I said calmly, hoping it would help her relax a bit. "If I answered it, all Dad would have done is scream at me to come home. I haven't gotten to spend any time with Austin in months! I wanted to take him to lunch. And I still have enough time to get ready."
"I don't care! You always answer your phone! Do you understand me?" Mom didn't usually get mad, but when she did it was usually for a good reason. I had worried her, and I was sorry for that. But answering the phone would have meant coming home early.
"Honey, calm down, she's safe," Dad said while wrapping Mom in his arms. That was totally unexpected on his part. I thought he would be right there with her ready to ground me for what I'd done. But instead, he seemed to realize that I needed the time with Austin. He was also upset that I hadn't answered my phone, but at least he wasn't mad at me for making Julia and Stephanie wait. At least I didn't think he was.
"Megan, go get ready," he said to me. "We're running tight on time now, so hurry."
I nodded and headed down to Sarah's room. I knew that Julia and Stephanie would be waiting for me there. When I opened the door, I found the two of them sitting on the couch watching some celebrity gossip show on the TV. They looked over at me and smiled.
"There she is," Julia said. Her tone was a welcome relief from the screaming and disappointment that had come from my parents. My biggest worry about taking Austin to lunch had been that I would upset these two. I needed them, and making them mad would be a bad thing for my career.
"I'm sorry," I replied. "I took my brother to lunch after his soccer game."
"It's okay," Julia told me. "We still have plenty of time."
Something seemed off with these two. There wasn't even a hint that they were mad at me. I expected that they would at least be slightly agitated that I had made them wait, but it seemed like they weren't even bored.
"Don't give me that look," Julia said. "You pay me way too much for me to get mad at waiting for you. I can't say I didn't enjoy a bit of downtime, either."
I laughed. Stephanie was nodding her head too, and I knew for sure that what I had done was okay with these two. I didn't know exactly how much they were paid, but that imaginary number in my head just added a couple of zeros.
"I'm still sorry," I told them. "I haven't been able to spend much time with him since this whole ordeal started, and he was feeling left out."
"I understand," Julia spoke once again. "I have a sister who feels the same way when I start talking about all the people whom I work with. It's important to spend time with your family. Now quickly, put these on."
She handed me a bundle of clothes, and I smiled back. I knew it was going to be a great day. Now, if only I can keep myself from getting grounded.
"You really aren't coming?" I asked my mother despondently.
She glared back at me. "I'm too mad at you, and someone needs to watch Austin."
I heard Austin groan. I knew he felt he was old enough to watch himself. I had stayed home alone at his age without any problems.
"It's just one concert, Princess," my dad said. "They'll get to see you perform at a lot of them before the end of summer. And it's only three songs. I'll be there with you backstage, and they'll get a chance to see you perform them again with Josh in Salt Lake City, okay?"
"Okay," I said, but it didn't feel okay. They had been to both of my performances up until this point. Granted, there had only been two, but that was still a track record I didn't want to break so soon.
"I love you," I told them both.
"I love you too, Megan," Austin responded back and even came over and gave me a hug. "Go out there and score three goals for me, okay?"
I laughed and smiled back at him. "I will, I promise."
Then I turned to my mom. Except for her remark that she was still mad at me, she hadn't said anything to me since I had gone to get ready. I had connected with my mom this week in a way I never had before, and now I was worried that I had really ruined that.
Finally, her face softened, and she opened her arms. I immediately ran into them.
"I love you too, honey," she whispered in my ear. "But you scared me to death today. I didn't know where you were and you didn't answer your phone. You have no idea how badly that made me feel. Please consider that in the future, okay?"
"Okay, Mom," I told her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to take him to lunch alone."
"I know, honey," she replied as she let go of me. I stepped back and looked at her loving face. "And Megan, thank you."
She smiled at me, and I felt my whole face light up. I knew why she was thanking me. She was thanking me for the attempt I had made to reach out to Austin again. I hadn't realized how my new life in the spotlight had affected him, but now I knew that I had to make sure he was included. I loved him so much, and he deserved just as much attention as I was getting.
As I walked out of the house toward the waiting limo, I knew one thing for sure.
I had the best family in the world.
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The arena was alive with sound as we approached the doors onto the floor. I smiled to myself as I felt the rush start to creep into my bones. When my escort opened the door, the rush intensified immensely at the sound of Josh singing and the roar of the crowd. The place was awash with energy, and I couldn't help but bask in it.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.28 - A Staple for the Holliday by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: March 21, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.28 - A Staple for the Holliday
There were already a number of people standing around when the limo pulled up to a door at the Staples Center. For a moment I worried that things would become complicated until a man wearing a security uniform approached the limo and opened the door. Then I saw a number of other security officers standing between the street and the door to help me get inside without anyone approaching me.
Dad was the first to get out, since we had stopped with the arena on his side of the vehicle. But he turned around and offered me his hand as I slid across the back seat and swung my legs out the door. He smiled down at me as he helped me out, and then stepped back to let the people gathered around see me. Cameras started flashing immediately, and I waved and smiled as I was escorted straight to the door.
I noticed the looks of shock and surprise on the faces of the people whom I passed. My appearance on stage today was going to be a surprise, so my presence hadn't been advertised at all.
Before I knew it, I was inside. There were more people in here too, but they only got a short glimpse of me as I was escorted straight to another door that led to a stairway. A short trip down and I was through another door onto the event level.
It immediately became apparent that I was now in a non-public zone because everyone I saw was wearing a pass of some sort, including the young woman who was waiting for us on the other side of the door.
"Ms. Carerra," she greeted us warmly. "How are you doing today?"
"I'm kind of excited," I replied, returning the smile that was on her face. I was happy to note that it appeared to be genuine. "I've never performed in a venue this big before."
She chuckled kindly before continuing. "My name is Sylvia Meyers. I'm the event coordinator for this evening. If you would follow me, I'll show you to your dressing room."
I nodded, and she started walking, slowly enough to let me walk beside her. She also pulled a pass off of the clipboard she was carrying and handed it to me.
"Please put this on. Everyone is required to wear them. You can leave it with your manager while you are on stage," she explained. I nodded and slipped the lanyard over my head and then pulled my hair through while she handed another pass to my dad.
It didn't take very long before we stopped in front of a door. She opened it and I followed her inside to a small dressing room.
"I hope this is okay," she replied, and I noted the first hint of nervousness that she had displayed in the short time since we met. I had a feeling she was worried about what I would think of such a small dressing room.
"It's fine," I replied with a smile. I knew that I would be placed in a smaller dressing room this evening. I was only going to be on stage for three songs, and my name was not even listed on the headline. Honestly, I was just happy to have a dressing room.
The relief on her face was evident, and she smiled back once again. "Okay," she said. "If you need anything, there is a list of numbers by that phone there." She pointed at a phone to let me know what she was talking about. I nodded, and she looked down at her clipboard again. "Your sound check is in 20 minutes. Someone will be by to show you the way. Then you are welcome to stay here until it is time to take the stage this evening. You can watch the concert on the TV, or you can watch any of the channels that are provided."
"Okay," I nodded my understanding. I knew what she was really telling me. She wanted me to stay in my dressing room all night unless I was needed. I didn't really have anywhere else to go, anyway.
With a wave, she was out the door and only Dad and I were left in the dressing room. I smiled at him, and then made my way to the couch. When I started this career, I hadn't realized that it involved a lot of waiting around. This time, however, I came prepared. Dad was already setting up his laptop when I pulled my book out of my purse.
I had hoped to see Josh at some point that evening, but that didn't appear to be likely. He wasn't at the sound check like I thought he would be, and he never came by before the concert started. I had no idea where his dressing room was, so I didn't have a way to seek him out, either.
Dad and I sat on the couch and ate a small snack while watching the opening act. They were a band called the CommBats. I had never heard of them before, and their music was decent. I doubted it was something I'd listen to normally, but it was an interesting performance nonetheless.
It was when Josh took the stage that I really felt the pangs of disappointment. I had hoped that he would come by to wish me luck before we met on the stage, but it appeared he was avoiding me. If he was, then I hoped whatever was worrying him wouldn't affect the songs.
He looked as good as ever in the jeans and T-shirt he was wearing. It was almost too casual to be worn on stage, but somehow he managed to pull it off. I was dressed similarly in a pair of jeans, heels, and a more fashionable top than his tee, but it was still very casual looking. Of course Julia wouldn't let me on stage without any Glam, and I almost felt overdressed when looking at him.
It was about 45 minutes into his concert when Stephanie showed up to touch up my makeup, and not long after that when my escort showed up to take me to the stage. I followed him in silence with Dad following me.
Unlike the sound check, the arena was alive with sound as we approached the doors onto the floor. I smiled to myself as I felt the rush start to creep into my bones. When my escort opened the door, the rush intensified immensely at the sound of Josh singing and the roar of the crowd. The place was awash with energy, and I couldn't help but bask in it.
As we approached the stage, a few screams of excitement came from those sitting nearby as they caught sight of me, but I concentrated on preparing myself. I'd done this enough times that my nervousness was very weak, but it would always be there. The day I wasn't nervous to take the stage was the day I died. However, I knew that there wasn't much to be worried about. I had done this before and I would do it many times again.
Josh's song started to wind down, and a tech handed me my microphone. Even here, at Josh's concert, the white microphone gave me a rock to hold onto. Dad's gift was a constant at every performance, and I was glad that he had given it to me.
"Thank you," I told the tech before handing the microphone to my dad. I then took the security pass off and handed it to him before taking the microphone again. When Josh's song ended, I was at the bottom of the stairs ready to take the stage.
"Are you ready for something special, L.A.?" Josh's voice boomed around the arena. The roar that followed his words brought a smile to my face. I couldn't wait for my first concert. I'd forgotten what a roar like that felt like, and I was missing the much smaller, but still noisy, crowd that had been in Salt Lake City.
"These next three songs are unique to this stop on my tour," Josh continued. "I'm very grateful for the chance to sing them, and I hope that you enjoy them too."
He didn't say anything else to preamble the songs and I watched as he walked over to the side of the stage opposite of where I was. We had talked about this and rehearsed it a bit after dinner the other night. Now, I wasn't sure it was such a good idea. We were singing two love songs together, and I could feel my heart breaking already.
Josh's guitar player started strumming the opening notes of 'Lucky', causing me to realize that I was about to step onto a stage without my own band for the first time in my career. The thought depressed me instantly, but I didn't have time to reflect on those thoughts as Josh started to sing.
There was a small cheer from the crowd when they recognized the song. The anticipation levels in the arena seemed to increase, too. They knew this song was a duet, and they wanted to know whom Josh would be singing with. I stayed hidden in the shadows while he continued to sing his first verse.
I didn't have long to wait until it was my turn. I took a few steps up the stairs beforehand, but my first words were still sung while I was in the darkness off stage. When I took another step I was on the stage, and another cheer emanated from the crowd when they recognized me.
My first verse wasn't any longer than Josh's, and I had only made it a few steps into the light by the time we started to sing the first chorus together. That was when my heart faltered. As we continued to sing the long first chorus, the two of us were looking at each other, and very slowly working our way toward each other. We weaved around the stage, getting closer and closer while we sang.
By the time his second verse started we were within touching distance, and we circled each other as we continued to sing about how lucky we were to be in love together.
It hurt.
I was sure the show looked great for the fans, but staring into Josh's eyes like that was something I would never forget. As we sang about our love for each other, I hoped that I'd be able to find some indication that what we were singing about indeed was what he was feeling. But instead I couldn't read him at all. He made all the right gestures and movements, but I couldn't see it in his eyes. I started to lose what hope I had to capture his heart.
I sang through my second verse, hoping that the fans wouldn't be able to hear the pain that I was feeling. I tried to push my emotions into the song and let them drive the moment, only holding back the pain. It seemed to work.
As we finished the second chorus, and the song wound to its conclusion, I saw it.
A flicker.
There was a flicker of something in Josh's eye. We were staring at each other, inches apart at the end of the song, and I noticed something. Appreciation, friendship, I wasn’t entirely sure what it was. He wasn’t returning the love I wanted, but it gave me hope.
Unfortunately, it seemed to have the opposite effect on Josh. He pulled away from our faux union quickly, and I thought I saw a frown on his face for the briefest of moments before he turned to the crowd.
"Sarah Carerra, everybody!" he said. The crowd roared, but I barely heard them over my inner turmoil. I turned and acknowledged them with a wave.
"Thank you for being here, Sarah," Josh told me with a smile on his face. It wasn't a real smile.
"Thank you for having me," I replied. Someone near the stage burst into laughter, and I really had to battle to keep from joining him when I realized what I had said. However, the smirk on Josh's face made the entire thing worthwhile.
"Sarah has agreed to sing two more songs with me this evening," he told the crowd. "I'm so very lucky to know this wonderful woman." Then he turned back to me once again. "Are you ready?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied and we took a step away from each other.
A loud, quick beat started playing immediately. The energy in the arena increased immediately as the speed and intensity of the song far outweighed the slow love song we had just sung. I smiled despite myself, and started moving to the beat as he started the first verse once again.
The very first thing he sang was to tell me how hot I was. I almost laughed at the absurdity of what he was telling me. He might have believed his words, but that didn't mean that he wanted to do anything about it. The humor that filled this song was evident in the words, especially when they were sung between two teenagers.
I joined him on the chorus, and the crowd was on their feet dancing with us while we sang.
The song talked about the obvious attraction that we had for each other, but it also was very clear that nothing was going to happen. The crowd probably thought that it was a great fun piece, not realizing that this was our true relationship. I was certain that many of them hoped that the first song described Josh and me, but it just wasn't true anymore.
By the time the song came to an end, the arena was electric once again. There's nothing like a quick, fast, fun song to make everyone happy. I just wished I could feel the same way.
Josh walked to a table at the side of the stage to take a sip from his water bottle. After two songs, my own throat was slightly dry, but I knew I'd be okay for the last song and could get a drink after I left the stage. Besides, the feelings that had been swirling around inside of me made me want to get off the stage and go home as quickly as possible.
When Josh was finished he came back over toward me with a sly grin on his face. I wasn't sure that I was going to like whatever he had planned.
"Sarah," he said to me while speaking into his microphone. "Would you like to introduce the last song?"
Okay, that surprised me. I didn't expect him to give me the stage to talk about 'I Need You'. It was his song. Then it dawned on me. It wasn't his song. It was our song now. He wanted to help reinforce that by letting me talk about it.
I nodded before bringing my own microphone to my mouth. "Josh came to me a few days ago and asked me to sing with him tonight," I told the crowd. "But there was something else he asked me to do too. I remember sitting at home and watching him sing a beautiful song during the Grammys one evening."
I was interrupted by a low cheer running throughout the crowd. At least some of them knew what I was talking about. Once the cheering had died down, I continued.
"I'm truly honored to be able to sing this song with Josh," I told them. Then, I nearly whispered the next part into the microphone while looking Josh straight in the eyes.
"'I Need You'."
A louder cheer erupted around the arena at my words, but it was drowned out by the expression I saw on Josh's face. He knew that I was saying more than just the name of the song, and I saw the pain in his eyes briefly before he turned away.
I didn't know what was keeping him away from me. There was obviously an attraction there. That kind of pain didn't come from someone who doesn't feel something for another person. But it told me everything I needed to know...again.
The signs had been there for days. I'd even come to the conclusion with my mom earlier this week. Josh and I were not going to be together.
I felt cold inside as I heard the beginning of the song start. Josh had a keyboard player in his band, and when the four note chord that was the cornerstone of this song played the first time, I had to hold back tears. Every single note seemed to stab straight into my heart. How was I going to get through this song now?
The notes played softly for a moment before the rest of the band joined in and I did my best to prepare for the song. Unlike the other two, I was the one who sang first during this song.
When I started singing the first verse, I was afraid that there would be something in my voice that would betray my true thoughts, but I couldn't hear it. If it was there, I hoped those in the arena wouldn't be able to hear it either.
The words didn't help either. This song was about a couple who had broken up, but they each couldn't get the other out of their minds. As I sang about the thought of memories and moments that I no longer had in the song, I couldn't help but to compare them to those of the memories and moments I would never get to experience with Josh.
There was one line in my verse that Josh sang along with me, and I listened to him as we sang. I thought I heard sadness in his voice, but it could have been my imagination.
As we sang through the chorus, we moved closer to each other. Every step I took toward him seemed like a step toward my own personal doom. He was like a flame that was so amazing to behold, but it was going to consume me if I got too close. I knew that I was on the verge of breaking down, and in some unspoken agreement, we both stopped advancing.
I listened as he repeated much of the same things that I had sung about during his own verse, wishing that his words were true. But I knew they would never be. It would take a miracle for Josh to change his mind about me.
After the second verse there was a small instrumental piece in the song, and Josh and I had our eyes directed at each other the whole time. It was the hardest part of the song for me to get through. I wanted nothing more than to run home and hide under my covers and cry, but that wasn't something I could do. I was on stage in front of 20,000 people. I could not cry now.
Josh seemed to be hurting too. I did not know if he was upset that he had made me feel this way, or upset about whatever reason he decided he couldn't be with me. Regardless, it left us to sing the song with a melancholy feel to it that completely fit with the message the song was portraying.
Right after the instrumental piece was a line that I had sung many times over the last couple of days, but it had never affected me like it did while I stood on that stage. Josh and I sang the line together, but it was the words that made me jolt inside. The line talked about how it was better to hurt than to not feel anything at all.
My ability to keep myself from crying ended at that moment. The tears weren't pouring out, but I could feel one or two run down my face as I jumped straight back into singing the song. I wasn't sure if my voice wavered at all through the last part of the song, but I felt spent and empty as those four clear notes played once again to end the song and destroy my heart.
The crowd roared. They loved it.
I ventured a gaze toward Josh, not sure what I'd find. He looked very remorseful, and I was suddenly worried about him. It looked like one or more tears had trailed down his face too. I got to leave the stage now, but he still had to finish his show.
"Sarah Carerra, everybody," he said softer than I would have expected. The crowd started to cheer, and I took a small bow.
"Thank you," I replied to them before waving as I headed for the stairs down off the stage. Originally, Josh had said that he wanted to give me a hug in front of the crowd before I left, but looking at him now I knew that was a bad idea, for both of us.
Dad was there the moment I was out of sight, and the sounds of the crowd cheering melted from my mind as I saw the concern on his face. He knew.
I handed my microphone to the tech who would pack it away, and put the security pass my dad handed back to me over my head before we started walking back to my dressing room.
I managed to hold it in until we were behind closed doors, but the second Dad and I were alone in my dressing room he wrapped his arms around me, and I burst into tears.
When I climbed into bed that night, I knew I didn't want anything to do with Josh Holliday ever again.
I had expected him to come by after the show, yet I waited futilely. I expected that I would see him during the backstage ‘meet and greet’ that I'd been required to attend at the Salt Lake City show, but nobody showed to escort us.
By the time Dad and I climbed into the limo for the ride home, I knew that Josh was not the right kind of guy for me. Nobody I would want to marry would leave a girl in pain like that! I felt betrayed, and I didn't even know why.
Mom was at the door hugging me the second I walked in. Emily was there too. Dad must have called ahead. I remembered almost no details of the rest of the night, but I felt the misery and disappointment eventually turn into the comfort and love of my family and friends.
I didn't need Josh. I had them.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Listen to the music from this chapter at www.sarahcarerra.com.
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With a great amount of trepidation, I got out of my car and headed for the front door. Ringing the doorbell was almost enough to make me want to head back home. I hadn't had to face anyone who knew me as my old self in over a month and a half.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.29 - A Friend in Need by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: March 28, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.29 - A Friend in Need
The next morning I resolved that I wasn't going to let Josh hurt me anymore. He had toyed with my heart on more than one occasion, and I wasn't going to stand for it any longer. I didn't need that kind of thing in my life. I had enough going on as it was.
I knew that I couldn't dump Josh out of my life. Dad had told me that I was obligated to record 'I Need You' with him now, and that Josh had already agreed to join me on stage in Salt Lake City. But that didn't mean that I had to let my feelings for him control me. It would be strictly business both on stage and when we recorded the song.
I did not need him. I'd held that thought as I fell asleep the night before, and I knew it was true. I would find someone who would give me the love I deserved. It just wouldn't be Josh.
I pushed him out of my thoughts and went to get ready for the day. Mom had let me sleep in and miss church after the long night before, but I still wanted to listen to the countdown. It would be the first time that 'You Can't Hurt Me' would have a chance to make the list. I was hoping it debuted high, but I knew it was unlikely since the song had only been released as a single three days earlier.
When I walked out of the bathroom after taking my shower, I was intercepted by my mom before I could make it to my room. She smiled at me kindly before speaking.
"How are you doing?" she asked me.
I sighed. I never wanted to experience what had occurred last night, but once again I was glad that I had suffered through it. I needed to feel that heartache and pain if I was going to get over Josh. Now that I was certain there wouldn't be anything between us, I could focus on moving past those feelings and learning how to consider him a friend. I had vowed last night that I didn't need him in my life anymore. With a calmer head this morning, I knew that we could still be friends. I just didn't want to see him until it was absolutely necessary.
"I'm doing okay," I finally replied. "I mean, we talked about this on Friday. I should have been prepared for what happened last night."
"Oh, Honey," Mom replied while wrapping her arms around me and softly stroking the back of my head. "You can never prepare yourself for what happened last night. I'm sure this won't be the last time that a guy hurts you like that. It's part of growing up. I am proud of how you are handling it. I'm still getting to know you as my little girl, and you are already becoming a young woman."
I smiled while returning Mom's hug. We stood there holding each other for a few moments before she stepped back and looked at me. I couldn't help but feel the love and support that she was showering upon me, and I loved her all the more for what she meant to me. I was so glad to have her!
"Your dad and I are going over to one of his client's houses for the afternoon," she changed the subject. "Will you be okay here?" I nodded. "Make sure Austin stays out of trouble. He has some friends over. Don't let them get too rambunctious."
"Okay," I replied. I could use some time alone anyway.
After she turned to leave with Dad, who was waiting at the end of the hall, I returned to my room to finish getting ready. Then I stopped by to check on Austin and his friends. They were in the front room playing video games, and I knew that would keep them entertained for a while. Leaving them to their fun, I headed for Sarah’s room.
I had no idea where 'You Can't Hurt Me' was going to debut. I felt confident that it would make the countdown after the number of albums that were sold, but it had one huge disadvantage going against it. 'Intuition' had debuted at #8 after a full week on the radio. 'You Can't Hurt Me' had only been on the radio since Thursday.
While sitting on the couch listening to the countdown, I noticed my guitar, which reminded me of the song I had written about being scared and overcoming it. Dad had given me the tickets I requested for Paul and his family, and I still needed to take them over to him. I was still amazed that he had come to the CD signing! I vowed to visit him this afternoon. I knew him well enough to know that he probably hadn't had anyone other than his mom to talk to about what he had done, and I wanted to be there to help, if I could.
Surprisingly, 'You Can't Hurt Me' hadn't been played by the time they got to the Top 10. That meant that I likely had a second Top 10 debut song! I sat there, mesmerized while listening for where it would end up. Finally, the announcer introduced it.
"For the second time this summer, Sarah Carerra has debuted a song on the countdown within the Top 10," he said. "Her new song looks like it is excellently poised to take over the top spot and hold on for a number of weeks. But that won't happen today. Debuting at #2, here is 'You Can't Hurt Me'."
While I was surprised that it had managed to claim the second spot on the countdown on the first week, I was also disappointed to realize that it hadn't clinched the top spot. As I sat and listened to it, I realized that if it had come out only one day earlier, there was a strong chance it would have been on top. I knew most albums came out on Tuesdays, and I wondered if that would have made a difference.
Either way, I knew that it would be on top next week, and I hoped it stayed there for a long time.
With a contented sigh I stood up. It had been a while since I had checked on Austin and his friends, and I felt that I had better make sure they hadn't gotten into any trouble. I knew it was unlikely. He was a teenage boy, but he was a good kid.
They weren't in the front room anymore. They weren't raiding the kitchen either. It was a noise from down the hall that alerted me to their whereabouts. I walked down the hall until I could hear them talking excitedly in his room. Peering in the door, I found them huddled around Austin's computer.
"Dude!" one of them shouted. "Isn't that the girl from the Nike commercial?"
I didn't like where my thoughts took me. Horny teenage boys huddled around a computer monitor talking about girls didn't leave many options about what they were doing. I thought I knew Austin better.
"What are you guys doing?" I asked loudly to get their attention. Most of them looked. Some of them were looking at me in a way I did not enjoy. Then they all returned their heads to the monitor.
"Megan!" Austin yelled. Oddly enough, it wasn't the yell of someone who had just been caught red-handed. Instead, he seemed excited. "Come see this! It's amazing!"
Curiosity took over at that point. My initial thoughts had to be wrong if he wanted me to see what they were looking at. Stepping over to his desk, I found them looking at a video where some girl was running across the roof of a building...
"Whoa!" escaped my mouth as she leaped across a huge gap between two buildings. I didn't think it was possible for a human being to do something like that!
I sat there mesmerized as my eyes were glued to the monitor just like the boys. That girl was amazing! She continued to do superhuman things that no one should be able to do until she left us all breathless by dropping straight down from the top of a building!
I thought she was going to break her legs or something, but instead she did some weird flip thing and landed perfectly with nothing but a huge smile on her face. That's when I saw it. She had the fire in her eyes.
I thought it was scary enough getting up on stage and singing to feel that rush. I couldn't even comprehend doing something like what that girl did to get the same feeling.
"They call her Catwalk," Austin said while starting the video again. I laughed. Her name should be 'Insane'.
"I'm going over to a friend’s house," I told him, pulling my eyes away from Wonder Woman. "Are you going to be okay here alone?"
"You're leaving me alone?" he asked, shocked. Mom didn't like leaving him alone for some reason.
"You're a big boy - you can handle it," I replied. His friends started chuckling, which caused him to flush red with embarrassment.
I left them like that and stopped in my room to grab Paul's tickets and my purse before walking out to my car.
Paul's house wasn't too far away, and it wasn't long before I pulled into his driveway. I hadn't been over to his house since we finished our Biology class, and I wasn't sure what his parents would think about me now.
With a great amount of trepidation, I got out of my car and headed for the front door. Ringing the doorbell was almost enough to make me want to head back home. I hadn't had to face anyone who knew me as my old self in over a month and a half.
After a short wait the door opened, and I found myself looking up into the surprised eyes of Paul's mother. It was obvious that very few girls my age came knocking on their door after seeing that look!
"Hi, Mrs. Johnson," I said cheerily. "Is Paul home?"
I thought she was going to have a heart attack for a moment because of the surprise that crossed her face. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
"Yes, yes, come in!" she said excitedly. Too excitedly. It was obvious that she didn't recognize me, and she was too happy to finally have a girl calling on her son. She stepped back to let me in, and I tentatively took a step into the house. There was no backing out now.
"What's your name?" Paul's mom asked me a moment later while directing me into their sitting room. I obediently followed and took a seat on their couch while she sat across from me. I had hoped that I would be able to talk to Paul, but it looked like his mom wanted to get to know me first.
"Megan," I replied. Her eyes shot up in shock again. Obviously, Paul had told her about me.
"But you look so different..." she voiced. I knew that was the case, but I also knew I looked similar enough that she should have recognized me. I could see her looking at me again, searching for the similar features between me and my old self. I'd been over to their house enough times that she knew me pretty well.
"Mom, who was at the door?" came a voice from near the stairs. A moment later Paul walked into their sitting room.
"Hi, Paul," I said with a small wave.
"Megan!" he nearly shrieked in shock. "What are you doing here?"
I smiled back at his reaction. I thought we had overcome this awkwardness on yearbook day, but apparently I was wrong. He looked scared out of his mind to have me in his house!
"I wanted to see how you were doing," I replied. "Plus, I have a present for you."
I dug into my purse to find the tickets to the concert that Dad had given me. Once I pulled them out, I held them out for him. "Sarah wanted you to have these," I said.
I didn't think it was possible, but his eyes widened even more. It took him a moment, but he finally stepped closer and took the tickets from me. Then he stared at them in awe for a moment. I knew he was happy, though.
"Sarah who?" his mom asked. That was the first inkling that I received that she was unaware of where her son had gone on Thursday evening. I looked up at Paul for a moment, and he was subtly shaking his head. He didn't want her to know.
"Sarah Carerra," I said, despite his wishes. I knew that she wouldn't be opposed to having him out of the house more often, especially if it was in a public setting like the mall. He was just afraid of what she would think.
"The singer?" Paul's mom asked incredulously. "You know Sarah Carerra?"
"Yes," I replied. "I've known her my whole life. My dad is also her agent, so we see each other quite a bit. Those tickets are for the OC Fair on August 5th. I won't be there that night, but the tickets are next to my family."
Paul's mom reached out her hand, and Paul handed her the tickets. "Why would Sarah want Paul to have tickets?" she asked.
I looked at Paul. It wasn't my place to tell his mother where he had been. I saw him struggle for a moment before he sighed and turned toward her.
"I went to her CD signing at the mall on Thursday," he told her. His mom's eyebrows shot up again. "I guess I've met her before, even though I didn't remember her. But apparently we met at Megan's house once."
I nodded confirmation when she looked over at me. "She knows how shy he is," I elaborated. "She was really impressed to see him there. She said that he even helped inspire a song, one about overcoming your fears."
Paul's eyebrows shot up this time, and his jaw dropped open. Maybe I shouldn't have told him that, but he was a big part of the song I had written, and he deserved to know what that meant. His mom also looked shocked again, and it looked like she wouldn't be able to handle much more.
"Well," she said while standing up. "I'll let the two of you talk. I need to get started on dinner."
She started to walk out of the room when Paul turned back to me. "Come on, Megan. Come up to my room."
Paul's mom stopped walking for a moment before she turned back to us. "Just..." she started, but she looked like she was nervous now. "Just leave the door open, okay?"
I blushed immediately when I realized what she was implying. Paul turned beet red. Paul was a nice guy, but I didn't plan to get involved with him like that. I didn't plan to get involved with ANY guy for a while after what had happened last night. We were just friends.
We quickly made our way up the stairs and down the hall to his room. I thought I had been uncomfortable back in the front room, but it was nothing like how I felt when I stepped into his room.
I didn't know if Sarah was Paul's first crush or not, but it was immediately clear why he had come to the CD signing on Thursday. It looked like every one of my posters was hanging somewhere in his room! The CD I had signed was in a frame mounted to a wall too. There was quite a bit more memorabilia around the room that had my face on it. I didn't even know some of that stuff existed!
Paul had overcome his fears because he was in love with me. Just like Ethan had been. Just like my cousin James had been. But I couldn't tell Paul the truth. Not now. He needed that fantasy to help him get over his fears. If Sarah could pull him out of his shell, I wasn't going to ruin that by telling him the truth.
"Uh," he said when he saw my reaction. "I'm sorry. I kind of have a crush on her."
I gave him a friendly smile. "It's okay, Paul," I said. "That's normal. I'm just happy someone was able to get you out of your shell."
He sighed and flopped down on his bed. I took a seat on his desk chair near the door. "I'm not sure why, but she makes me want to meet people and have friends. She makes me want to have a life."
I smiled. That was the best thing I could have heard!
"I'm glad to hear that," I told him. "You're too kind and smart to be hiding from everybody. You have a lot to offer the world."
He smiled back at me while sitting up. "It's not just her, you know."
I wasn't sure what he meant by that. "What?" I asked for clarification.
"It's not just her," he repeated. "It's you too."
Now I was really confused! "What do you mean?"
"Megan," he said and then looked me in the eye. "You became a whole new person at the end of the school year. That takes guts! But if you can do what you did, then I can learn to get over my fears."
I wasn't sure what to say. That seemed so mature of him! It definitely wasn't something that I expected him to say to me.
I smiled warmly at him. "Well, I'm glad that you are trying."
"I'm still scared, Megan," he told me sincerely. I nodded my understanding. "I mean, even talking to you is scary." I opened my mouth to speak, but he held up his hand. "Look, I know you said you haven't changed, but you have. I see that even more now than I did at the end of school. You are truly a girl. I'm still mostly the same person who is scared of girls. I was scared to death to meet Sarah the other day. Then she freaked me out when she recognized me. I froze after that and I didn't even get to talk to her."
I chuckled at the memory of what my reaction had caused him to do. "I think your visit was one of the highlights of her night," I told him truthfully. "It's people like you who keep her going."
His smile widened, but I knew he didn’t believe me. Of course, he thought he was still a no-name fan to her. He had no idea that she was one of his best friends.
"Did she really write a song about me?" he asked.
"Yeah!" I replied happily. "She played it for me, and I think it was really good. The song is about overcoming your fears. She said that the fear she had to get up on stage the first time, and seeing you overcome your fears to come to the signing on Thursday, helped shape the song. She doesn't mention you specifically, but she wanted me to make sure you knew that the song was also about you."
He nodded, wide-eyed, and then flopped down on his bed again. I think he was still in shock.
"Want to play some video games?" I offered. Even though I was never any good, we'd often play them for a while after getting our biology assignments done. It wasn't what I preferred to do, but it was something he needed.
"Yeah," he said and got up to turn on his TV.
We spent most of the afternoon playing video games together until I had to head home for dinner. I knew that the best thing I could do for him would be to spend time with him. If he could overcome his fears with me, then hopefully he could transfer that courage into talking to and interacting with other girls. If nothing else, he could use the time with a friend. I knew that my busy schedule wouldn't give us much time together, but whatever little I could spare would help. He was a good guy.
Special Thanks
I have to give a special thanks to Connie Alexander for letting me finally return the favor of honoring her wonderful story within my own during this chapter. If you haven't read it yet, check out Catwalk Confidence now.
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It was so nice to just hang out with the band for a while. When we got together most of the time, all we did was work. I knew we needed to have another type of relationship if we really wanted to be successful.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.30 - Hidden Inspiration by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: April 4, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.30 - Hidden Inspiration
I was startled awake by the blaring of my phone Monday morning. I didn't know what it was doing, because I had never heard it make that sound before! I scrambled in vain to reach where it was charging on my nightstand, knocking it off the table in the process.
Screaming slightly in frustration, I threw my covers back and scrambled out of bed to retrieve the annoying device. I yanked out the power cord, and then turned it over so that I could see the screen.
Great, just great. Dad had found some way to get my appointments onto my phone. This particular alarm was telling me that I needed to wake up.
Sighing, I dismissed the alarm and then opened the calendar. I had a whole week’s worth of appointments sitting there waiting for me. My last week before preparing for the concert tour full-time was not going to be a restful one. Today I was shooting another commercial, this one for the Jive. Wednesday I apparently had a number of radio interviews and a magazine interview. Thursday I had a meeting to decide what songs we were going to sing for the tour. Friday I was...
"The Tonight Show?" I asked out loud. I was going back on the Tonight Show? I wondered if I was just singing or if I was actually going to be interviewed.
The rest of the week was free. I had Tuesday open, and I already knew that Emily wasn't working. Saturday was free after my appointment with Mary and a photo shoot for the perfume I was endorsing. Then I had time to relax on Sunday before I had to start rehearsing for the tour. It was going to be nearly non-stop work from now until the time school started.
Sighing, I threw my phone back onto the bed and grabbed my robe before heading for the shower. I didn't want to be awake this early, but there was no use climbing back into bed.
When I finally made it to the kitchen for breakfast, I found my dad waiting for me. He had a sly grin on his face, so I returned his look with a cold one.
"Morning, Princess," he said. "Nice to see you up so early."
"As if I had a choice," I threw back at him. He started laughing softly to himself. I didn't share his amusement as I grabbed a bowl and some cereal.
"Just, don't abuse the power, okay?" I asked him kindly.
"I promise I won't," he said. "I'll only put friendly reminders about work on there."
I nodded, hoping he was telling me the truth.
Photo shoots and commercial shoots were starting to feel routine to me. I never would have expected that to happen before the summer started. But now, as we pulled up to the studio where the Jive commercial was going to be shot, I realized that it was just another part of the job.
Dad said that he had been told that I wouldn't actually have any lines of dialog in the commercial, but that they wanted to use my image and there would be a part where I was singing 'You Can't Hurt Me'. I was truly intrigued to see what they had come up with.
We were directed into a large room, and I noticed that it was broken up into two distinct sections. The first section was all white, with a small table in the middle. The second section was surrounded by green and had something inside of it that put a huge smile on my face: my band.
I made my way over to them with excitement. "Hi, guys!" I greeted them. A chorus of greetings and smiles was returned from them.
"How have you been?" Jason asked me.
"Great!" I told them. "I've got another song that I'd like to work on with you guys if we can find the time. I'd like to use it on the tour."
Jason smiled back at me. "That sounds like a plan. We actually have five songs for you too. If you're willing to use them, we'll play them for you."
I was surprised at that revelation. I knew that they wrote songs, but I never thought that they would write any for me. But the thought of singing songs that they wrote was intriguing.
"I would love to hear them," I told him with a large smile. The rest of the band and the girls all smiled in return. At that point, I realized they were afraid I would turn them down. I would never do anything like that.
Before we could say anything else, we were interrupted by a representative for the Jive, and we had to get to work.
The shoots went really well, and by the time we were getting ready to leave, I was excited to see where the advertising campaign went. This wasn't the only commercial I would be making for the Jive, but it was going to be a powerful one, I was told.
We had started out the day by taking pictures in the white room. I had the distinctive ear buds that came with the Jive in my ears, and they took many beauty shots of me with different emotions on my face.
The commercial shoot was next, and it too started in the white room. Even after finishing the shoot, I still didn't know exactly what they were doing. They had me walk in, pick up a Jive, put the earphones in my ears, and smile before replacing the Jive on the table and walking off the screen. Then they filmed us performing 'You Can't Hurt Me' while I was listening to a Jive in front of the green screen.
It made no sense to me, but Dad said that he liked what they were doing. I would just have to wait until I saw the finished commercial to fully understand, it seemed.
I was excited when Dad and I left the studio. The guys had invited the girls and me over to their place to work on my song and to hear what they had written for me. I had agreed, but I needed to get my guitar and drop off Dad. He wanted to come and hear the music, but he apparently had an appointment with another client this evening, so I'd be out on the town alone as Sarah for the first time. It was really exciting!
After picking up my guitar, I stepped back out into the garage and placed it in the front seat of my car. Then I walked around and got inside. I knew vaguely where the guys' house was, but I still put their address into my GPS before starting the car and heading out. I didn't get very far before I realized I needed gas, however.
I pulled into the gas station where we normally filled up without a second thought. It wasn't until I saw the little girl gradually getting closer and closer to me while I waited for the gas to flow into the car that I realized this was the first time I had stopped for gas as Sarah.
Looking up at her, I watched her freeze in place. It was apparent that she knew me, but she was also scared.
"Hi," I said with a smile. That broke the ice and she ran over to me and wrapped her arms around my legs. I couldn't help but laugh at her response.
"Jackie! You leave that girl alone!" I saw someone yell from the door of a minivan nearby. She got out and walked over to us, and pulled the girl away. "How many times have I told you to leave strangers alone?!"
She looked up at me next. "I'm sorry. I've never seen her do anything like that before." Then she really took a look at me. "Oh!"
"It's okay," I told her with a smile to emphasize my point. I heard the click that indicated my car had finished filling up. "Give me a second, because I have something for her."
I took the nozzle out of my car and replaced it on the pump before retrieving my receipt. Then I popped the trunk on my car and reached for the large box Dad had placed inside. Opening it, I found what I was looking for. I pulled out one of the press photos and a marker before searching through the other items I had made him put inside too. Finding what I wanted, I turned back to the girl.
"Jackie?" I asked her to make sure I had heard her name correctly. She nodded, but didn't say anything. I bent down to her level, and her mom let go of her. She took a step toward me, nervous that her mom would get mad again. When I smiled, she nearly rushed me again. She was staring at the items in my hand.
First, I signed the photo for her before handing it to her. She looked at it with happiness, but I knew that it wasn't what she wanted. She handed the photo to her mom before looking at the other item in my hands. I caught her eyes again and waited until she was looking at me.
"In my room at home, I have a teddy bear," I told her. "It's a special teddy bear. My dad gave it to me while I was in the hospital when I was younger. Sometimes when I feel alone or scared, I hug it until everything is better."
I handed the small soft pink bear that I was holding in my hands out to her. She took it with a large smile on her face.
"This is the same bear, just a little smaller," I told her. Dad had given me the bear the day I woke up from the accident. It had become my favorite companion when I needed someone to hug while I was alone over the following years. A couple of weeks ago I had made Dad get some smaller ones that were embroidered with Sarah's signature on them. They were for me to give out to special fans. Fans like Jackie. We had only received them a few days ago.
"Thank you!" she screamed before wrapping her arms around my neck in a hug.
I returned her hug while speaking in her ear. "You're welcome, Jackie."
I noticed that there was a man standing next to Jackie's mom now. He looked slightly bewildered at what was happening. I smiled at him while letting go of his daughter, who ran back to her mother to show her the bear. I stood up and closed the trunk of my car.
"It was nice meeting you guys," I told the family while stepping around to the driver's side of my car. I opened my door before turning back to them.
"Thank you, Sarah," the girl's mom replied. I nodded, and then with a wave to the little girl I got in and started the car.
It was moments like these that made me love being Sarah Carerra.
When I pulled into the driveway that my GPS directed me to, I was impressed. I had expected something smaller, but the guys actually lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. It was definitely not the kind of place I would have expected there to be a bachelor pad.
I got out and grabbed my guitar before walking toward the door. When I reached the front porch, I rang the doorbell. I didn't have long to wait before Stacy opened the door for me.
"Sarah!" he said excitedly. "I'm glad you made it!"
"Hi, Stacy," I told him. "Sorry I'm late, I had to stop and get some gas."
"It's okay," he said while stepping back to let me in. "The girls just got here too. We have some pizza on the way."
"Okay," I replied and took a look around the entrance of the house as I stepped in. The place didn't look expensive, but it did show opulence greater than what a normal bachelor’s pad would show. I knew that they had made good money as a session band. I knew that they made even more with me. It certainly showed in their house.
I expected that the place would be dirtier with three guys living alone, but it actually looked fairly clean. I wondered if they had spent some time cleaning up.
"The maid was here this morning," Sophie said with a wry grin on her face. Leave it to her to know what I was thinking. I smiled as she stood up from the couch in the front room. Holly was right behind her.
"I'll have you know that we are clean guys," Stacy defended himself. "We only have the maid to help save time."
"Sure," Sophie shot back with a short laugh.
"Anyway," Stacy continued. "The other guys are down in the studio if you want to go get set up. The girls can show you the way. I'm going to wait for the pizza."
I nodded and turned to follow Sophie and Holly. We didn't get very far before the doorbell rang again. Stacy promptly answered it, and I saw the pizza delivery boy holding a large bag.
"Hi," he said while looking at the receipt he was holding. "Miller?"
"That's me," Stacy said while pulling some cash out of his pocket. The pizza guy looked up, but his eyes never made it to Stacy. They stopped on me.
"Is that..." he started, but stopped short.
"Yes," Stacy replied. I could hear the humor in his voice at the delivery boy's reaction. "It's her."
There was a large intake of breath from the door. I smiled at him and waved. "Hello," I said.
"How much do I owe you," Stacy said, trying to bring the poor boy back to his senses.
"What?" the delivery boy asked unceremoniously. "Oh, right. Forty-two fifty."
Stacy handed over the money and then took the armload of pizzas from the boy.
"Thank you," the boy said. "Um, have a nice day."
"You too," Stacy replied as the boy turned around and walked back to his car in a daze.
Sophie and Holly broke out into laughter the second the door was closed. Stacy was chuckling too.
"You are such a tease!" Sophie announced.
"I am not!" I replied while laughing along with her. She just shook her head and turned to lead me farther into the house.
We were still chuckling when we reached a large room where the band's equipment was set up. Jason and Conner were watching TV while sitting on a couch in the corner, but they stood up when we entered. Then they were quick to help Stacy with the pizzas, which they set on a nearby table next to some drinks that had already been set up. It wasn't much longer before we were all eating and talking together.
It was so nice to just hang out with the band for a while. When we got together most of the time, all we did was work. I knew we needed to have another type of relationship if we really wanted to be successful. I knew that the guys and the girls had all become close friends. I also knew that it was far more difficult for them to become friends with me than with each other. Not only was I the “star”, but I was also younger than all of them. The girls weren't much older than me, just short of 20, but the guys were a couple of years older than they were.
While I knew that I could pass as the same age as the girls, I was still the youngest one in the group. The little sister. I loved Anna, and Emily and I did everything we could to include her, but it was never quite the same with her around. I wouldn't trade my time with her for anything, but I knew there were some things we couldn't include her in. My relationship with the band was similar. We had a lot of fun together, but I knew that it was different with me around. Even so, it was nice to be included every once in a while.
When we finished eating, we turned our eyes toward the music that had gathered us together. I was excited to play my new song for them, and just as excited to hear what they had for me.
"Where should we start?" I asked.
"How about we play what we have first," Jason said. "If you like the songs we can give you the sheet music to learn them. Then we can spend most of the time finishing your song."
"Okay," I agreed. "So what do you have?"
"We wrote most of these songs a while ago, so don't think we're masters of writing music or anything," Jason explained. "But we've adapted them for you. One of them is new, and one of them the girls helped us write for you."
The girls had large smiles on their faces when I turned toward them, impressed.
"This first one is called 'Different Girl'," Jason said. "It's about adapting to overcome the challenges that are put in front of you."
He nodded to Sophie, who stood up to sing the song for me. She started to sing before the band joined in with the music, and I knew that using the songs they had written for me would definitely expand my sound. While the song was still definitely 'pop', it was a lot harder, more rock-like in tone.
I was mesmerized as they played the song for me. Clearly it was not the type of song that I would have written for myself, but I really liked it. I think they knew from my smile that we would be performing it on the tour. Chances are it would even make it onto a second album.
When the song came to a close, I saw something that I had never seen before. Sophie had the fire in her eyes that I so often felt when I performed, and the boys were breathing hard like they had just been given an adrenaline boost. I knew what I felt when I performed, but I had never seen it happen to these guys before. Of course, I usually wasn't looking at them while we were on stage, either. I was happy to know that they shared the same passion for performing that I did.
"What did you think?" Jason asked, breaking my train of thought.
"I really, really liked it," I told him. "If the others are like that, then I think we should use all of them."
He laughed, but the broad smile he returned to me told me that he was proud of the song.
We continued in that vein for a while. Sophie and Holly took turns singing the songs, and I was once again wondering why they had settled for being backup/harmony singers. They were excellent!
'Into My Eyes' was the second song they played for me. It was another pop song that had an edge to it, but the message was about finding out that my boyfriend was cheating on me and how happy I was to be getting out of the relationship with him.
'Sweet Revenge' was the next song, and was apparently the "new" song that the band had written for me. All of the other songs had been converted from some of their older work. Immediately, I didn't like it because it was too slow and melancholy. I would have rather had a fast, fun song if I was singing about exacting revenge on someone. We started throwing around ideas, and it wasn't long before we were modifying the song and lyrics together as a group. When we finished, the song was almost unrecognizable from what we had started with, but it was no longer their song - it was ours. We all had smiles on our faces at what we had come up with, and I knew those smiles would continue when they saw their names next to mine in the credits for the song.
I noticed a definite theme in the songs when they played 'Goodbye' for me. It was a really nice song that they thought would be good to end the concerts with because of the words used in the chorus. It too spoke about the end of a relationship but it had a slightly mournful tone as the singer sang about leaving her boyfriend.
"I love them, guys!" I told them excitedly when they had finished. "If Scott is okay with it, I want to use them all, and we can probably even use them on the second album."
"Awesome!" Stacy said with another crash of his drums in excitement. "I knew she'd like them!"
I smiled at his reaction. I couldn't ask for a better band than this. I was worried that they might have been upset at me for suggesting changes to 'Sweet Revenge', but instead it seems to have actually made them happier about the song.
"The last one is ours," Holly said.
"Well, ours with the help of the guys," Sophie added. She smiled as she stepped up to sing the song for me.
The guys started playing immediately. It was definitely a more instrumental piece. It also bordered on the line between pop and alternative. The song started out with a number of different sections where they added more and more to the beat that made up the song, culminating in the start of the lyrics. Sophie didn't even start singing until nearly a minute into the song. The words were very lyrical, but it talked about the feelings that Sophie and Holly ultimately felt to be up on stage. It was entitled 'Dreams' and spoke of how they were living their dreams, and how happy it made them feel.
"I don't know if I can sing that," I told them after they had finished the song. I was wiping away a tear as I spoke. "I mean, that feels so personal to you two. I don't know how I could capture that emotion."
Sophie walked over to where I was sitting and wrapped her arms around me. Holly was quickly doing the same.
"We wrote this for you, Sarah," Holly said. "This is about how you make us feel. I love being up on that stage, but I'd never want the spotlight you are always in."
"She's right," Sophie agreed. "This song isn't about us. It's about how you have brought out our true potential. I was happy doing session work. But now that I've tasted being on stage with you, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
I wiped away more tears as I hugged them back.
Eventually we were able to calm down, and they wanted to hear what I had come up with. After what I had heard tonight, and especially after the work we had put into 'Sweet Revenge', I wasn't sure the song still had the power I thought it did. But I was still willing to let them help me finish it. I pulled my guitar out of its case and sat it on my knee before speaking to them.
"I have a friend named Paul. He is very shy. He told me once that he was scared to talk to girls," I told them. "We were paired up to be lab partners in Biology last year. It took me forever to get him to open up to me. But he did. He was still scared to death to even talk to me, but he did." I wistfully remembered how innocent he seemed back then.
"Last week, he showed up at the CD signing," I continued. "He doesn't know I'm Sarah. He made the effort to overcome his fears and come down to meet me. Of all the people that I saw that night, he was the one who touched me the most."
I absently strummed my guitar as I gathered my thoughts. "When I first stepped on stage at the party where Scott discovered me, I was scared to death. When we took the stage in Salt Lake City, I wanted to run and hide. But I put myself out there. I overcame that fear just like Paul did."
I paused and took a deep breath. "Now, we're 'Fearless'."
I launched into the song immediately. This song was filled with a lot of emotion, but it was a happy song. It showed the world that there wasn't any fear that couldn't be overcome. You just had to face it and prove to yourself that it doesn't have any power over you.
They were staring at me when I finished the song. I was starting to think that they didn't like it. Eventually, Stacy was the one who spoke.
"And that, my friends, is why she is the star."
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There it was - the real reason that Ethan had been so awkward around me since the concert in Salt Lake City.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.31 - Golden Friendships by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: April 11, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.31 - Golden Friendships
I had hoped to sleep in on Tuesday morning, since it was the only day I had off. But Emily wasn't going to let that happen. It was the first day that we both had off in several weeks, and she wanted to make sure that we spent the entire day together. I was fine with that. I just wish she would have let me have some more sleep first.
After she shook me awake, and I finished groaning and glaring at her, I rolled out of bed to get ready for the day. A short shower helped me to wake up, and after getting dressed I found her in the kitchen helping Mom prepare breakfast.
"Morning, sleepyhead," Emily greeted me.
I grumbled something that wasn't very nice. She chuckled along with my mom at my words. I just sighed and grabbed a plate.
"What do you two have planned today?" Mom asked while we sat around the dining room table eating. I didn't know, so I turned toward Emily to hear the answer too.
"I thought we could go to the beach this morning," Emily told us. "Then we can catch a movie this afternoon. I'd like to go shopping, but I do not want to set foot into the mall if I can help it."
It was my turn to chuckle at her. Emily loved shopping. It was weird to hear her say that she didn't want to go to the mall, but I understood why she wouldn't want to go there on her day off. She spent too much time there at her job..
"What about Ethan?" I asked a moment later. I hadn't seen him since the CD signing.
"He has to do some chores first thing this morning," Emily replied. "But he said he'd come down to the beach with us. Anna wants to come too."
I smiled. I hadn't hung out with Anna for a while. I still didn't know how or when to tell her about my alter ego, but it would be nice to see her again.
Once we had finished eating, I returned to my room to get everything ready for the beach while Emily left to grab her stuff and make sure Anna was ready. As I slipped a lightweight dress over my head to cover my bikini, Mom came into my room.
Without saying anything, she wrapped her arms around me.
"Are you okay?" I asked her, returning her hug.
"Yes," she replied, letting go and holding me at arm’s length. "I'm just so glad to have you in my life."
My eyes started to mist up, and I had to laugh to help keep myself from crying. "I feel the same way," I told her.
We stood there in each other's arms, enjoying the moment, before the doorbell rang indicating Emily's return. Mom let go of me, and I gave her a loving smile to let her know how much she meant to me. She returned one of her own. Then we walked out of my room and headed down the hallway toward the front door.
When I opened the door to let Emily in, I was almost knocked over by the bundle of joy that careened into me. I laughed at the joy on Anna's face as she wrapped her arms around me.
"Hi, Anna," I said.
"Hi, Megan!" she nearly screamed in excitement. She eventually let go of me and stepped back. Her happiness at seeing me again was hard to miss as we walked through the house to the garage and climbed into my car. Anna gazed around the vehicle in amazement as we backed out and made our way down the street to Ethan's house.
"This is your car?" she asked after I had blown the horn to let Ethan know that we were there.
"It is," I replied to her question sweetly. "Nice, huh?"
"It's awesome!" was her response. I laughed lightly at her and watched as Ethan exited his house and made his way to my car.
"Hi, Ethan," I smiled at him as he opened the front passenger door and slid in. Emily and Anna were sitting together in the back seat.
"Hi," he said back awkwardly. My mood deflated immediately. I had hoped that Emily had talked to him and helped him get over whatever problem he was having with me, but that didn't seem to be the case.
Emily reached forward and smacked the back of his head. He turned around and glared at her, upset.
"What was that for?" he screamed at her before reaching a hand up and rubbing where she had connected.
"She's one of your best friends, Ethan!" Emily screamed back. "Yes, she's changed! That doesn't mean you get to treat her like a pariah! Try again!"
He turned around, sighed, and looked out his window as he leaned back against his seat. It didn't look like he was ready to speak yet so I backed out and started driving toward the beach. I could see in my rearview mirror that Emily was livid with him and Anna looked really confused and slightly scared.
We drove in silence for a few minutes before he looked back at me and finally spoke up.
"I'm sorry, Megan," he said. "I just..." He paused for a moment before he could speak again. "I just don't know how to interact with you anymore," he finally said. "I mean, you're still my best friend. I know that. I still want to be your friend too. But you've changed! You're a girl now! And you're hot! I don't know how to handle that!"
There it was - the real reason that he had been so awkward around me since the concert in Salt Lake City. He was attracted to me! I had hoped that wasn't the reason, but I had feared that it was.
He was blushing horribly now at his revelation. I could feel my own cheeks warmer than normal. I concentrated on the road for a moment, trying to figure out what to tell him. Obviously, we weren't going to get together. He was my best friend; I couldn't see myself in a relationship like that with him. Yes, I knew he was attractive. He had the same dark brown hair and dark brown eyes that I had loved on Josh. But I was talking about Ethan!
I sighed. "I'm sorry, Ethan," I finally said to him. "I know I haven't made it any easier. But just because I'm a girl now doesn't mean that I have to be your girlfriend."
Ethan grimaced and his mouth twitched. I didn't like how his mouth twitched at my words. Had he already thought about asking me to be his girlfriend?
I shuddered momentarily at the unwanted thought, and he continued to grimace. It wasn't that I didn't think we could be a couple. I just didn't want to become involved with anyone right now in my life. Especially Ethan! I knew I had considered the possibility more than once over the summer, but the last thing I wanted to do was to jeopardize our friendship by taking it to the next level.
But what if it did go to the next level? Would I be okay with that? I couldn't imagine it. I had wondered about such a thing, but I couldn't see him as anything other than my friend right now. I didn't know if that would always be the case, but that was the way I felt now.
"Look, you guys," Emily spoke up. "I know that this must be difficult for both of you. Your relationship has completely changed. I don't know what that will mean in the future, but right now you should treat each other as the friends that you are. Obviously there is some attraction happening here, and that freaks me out! And if you start kissing in front of me I'm going to punch both of you. Just be friends and if something happens later, we'll deal with it then, okay?"
Her words made a lot of sense, even if I didn’t want to hear her talk about that topic. I nodded. Ethan was doing the same. We were friends. There was no use letting what ifs and speculations ruin that. The car stayed mostly silent for the rest of the trip down to the beach. Despite the conversation, I could feel a change in Ethan's attitude toward me. I hoped that meant that we could get back to being friends.
I pulled into the parking lot and found a spot that I hoped would keep my car from getting scratched, and we all piled out. After getting my board and bag from the trunk, we started walking toward the beach.
"Are you guys still going to be friends?" Anna asked me.
I laughed lightly while turning toward her. "Yes, we are," I replied. I smiled when I saw Ethan nod in confirmation too.
"Good," Anna said. "Then let's go have some fun."
I couldn't agree with her more.
We spent the morning playing in the sand and waves. When we started to get hungry, we packed back up and headed for a nice Italian restaurant that was just off the beach. The plan was to eat and then head over to the nearby theaters for an afternoon show.
After placing our name on the waiting list, we turned to take a seat in the small waiting area. That's when I knew we were in trouble. Sitting there, glaring at us, was Jared Lumbart. He was sitting with another boy and two girls I had never seen before.
I stopped short. The last time I had seen Jared he had pushed me to the ground and kicked me in one of the halls at school. He had been suspended that day. The glare that was on his face told me that he still held a grudge for what had happened.
With a quick look at Emily and Ethan, I sat down quickly as far away from him as I could. My friends sat down next to me, trying to shield me from what they knew was likely coming. Anna nervously sat next to me, worry in her eyes. Not surprisingly, Jared stood up and started walking toward us.
"I don't want any trouble, Jared," I told him before he had taken more than two steps.
"Well you're going to get it!" he replied with a snarl. "I almost failed all of my classes because of you!"
"This is the guy that you beat up?" one of the girls asked. She had a perplexed look on her face that was easy to understand. Obviously she had heard Jared's side of the story, in which I definitely wasn't portrayed as female.
"Obviously, he was mistaken about her gender," Emily replied wryly. Jared didn't like that, and glared at her before stepping closer to me. The girl stood up and quickly ran to where Jared was advancing on me.
"Jared!" she yelled at him. "Don't do this!"
"Shut up, Kristyn," he replied. "You don't know what this...this...THING took from me!"
"I didn't take anything from you, Jared," I replied calmly. I was scared to death and ready to run, but I was trying to not show it. "You attacked me, plain and simple. I did nothing to you."
He raised his fist, and Kristyn latched on to his arm immediately, trying to prevent him from doing anything he would regret. "Jared!" she yelled again. "Stop it! Leave her alone!"
I was impressed that Jared had managed to find a girlfriend who actually seemed like a real person. Most of the cheerleaders he usually dated wouldn't stand up to him like this girl was doing. Jared turned his ire on her for a moment, shaking his hand to try to dislodge her, but she held on tightly. He turned back toward me before doing anything else and took another step forward. Any closer and he'd be standing right over me!
Someone cleared their throat nearby, and we all turned to see the hostess standing there with a large guy next to her dressed in a waiter's uniform. "Sir," she said calmly. "If you can't sit down nicely and leave the girl alone, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Jared turned his glare on the hostess for a moment before sizing up the waiter she had brought with her. The waiter simply stared at Jared, giving him a look that said that Jared was no match for him. It didn't look like Jared was in the mood to fight him, so he turned back toward me.
"This isn't over, Campbell," he said before pulling Kristyn toward the door. "Come on, we're out of here."
I heard the boy and girl still sitting down sigh and stand up to follow. They didn't look pleased to be leaving.
"I'm sorry," I told them as they passed. I was surprised to get a smile back from them.
"It's okay," the girl spoke. "My cousin has a bit of a temper problem. Have a nice meal." Then she stepped out the door with her date.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm the nerves that had been racing around at the thought that I might have been attacked by Jared. The last thing I needed was to get into trouble with him right before we started preparing for the concert tour.
"Are you okay?" Emily asked me a moment later. I looked up into her eyes and saw the concern she felt for me. I nodded back and smiled.
"Yeah," I replied. "But I think school is going to suck this year."
She grinned momentarily before her face turned solemn too. She probably felt the same way.
"Campbell, party of four," the hostess said, interrupting any other discussion.
We were laughing when we walked through the garage door of my house later that evening. It had been a fun day. We'd caught a movie after lunch, and then we decided to come back to my place for a while to hang out. Anna wanted to go over to one of her friend's house, which left just Emily and Ethan to spend the evening with me.
It felt like the old days. It was like the excitement and chaos of the summer had never happened, except that we had a nice set of wheels to run around town in. Even Ethan seemed to be back to his old self. I was not completely sure if he was pretending, or if our talk this morning had really helped, but he treated me like a friend all day. He no longer did whatever he could to get away from me.
Austin and a number of his friends turned to look at us as we walked from the kitchen into the front room. I had hoped that we could turn on the TV or something while we lounged around, but they were already playing video games.
"Come on," I told my friends. "We've got another room to hang out in."
Ethan groaned, but he started following me down to Sarah's room anyway. I knew he didn’t like spending time in the feminine room, but it was a nice place to lounge around in with the large TV and stocked mini-fridge.
"Megan, is that you?" I heard my dad ask as we passed his office.
I stopped and looked in the door. "Yes."
He had a large smile on his face, and there was some kind of flat box on his desk. He stood up when he saw me and picked up the box before coming over to the door. With a smile, he handed the box to me.
"This is for you," he stated quietly. "But let's go down to the privacy of Sarah's room to open it. I don't want Austin's friends overhearing us."
"Okay," I said. Now I was really curious to see what was in the box. The mailing address said it was for Sarah, but I couldn’t think of anything that someone would send her.
Once we were safely inside Sarah's room and the door was closed, I sat down on the couch and opened the box. I gasped before reaching in and pulling out a black framed award that had a gold-coated copy of my CD on the left, a picture of the album cover on the right, and a small plaque below the two.
"Presented to Sarah Carerra," I read the inscription on the plaque. "To commemorate the sale of more than 500,000 copies of the Olympic Records album 'Intuition'."
I stared at it, mesmerized for a moment before I was able to turn it and show it to the others assembled in the room.
"That is so cool!" Emily yelled and reached out to take it from me for a closer look. I handed it to her before turning back to my dad.
"This award is just from the record company," he said. "We can't apply for certification with the record industry until thirty days after the album is released. But Olympic Records likes to award their artists sooner than that. You hit the 500,000 mark on Saturday. Right now sales are around 700,000. Scott thinks that you'll hit the million mark by sometime next week."
I sat there, staring at him in complete shock. I had been stunned when he told me that I had sold 428,000 that first day. I was stunned to hear the numbers now! I was blown away that my music was so popular!
Dad had apparently already placed a nail in the wall to hang the award on, and when Emily gave it back to him, he walked over to the previously vacant area of wall and hung it up. I noticed that there was a lot of room available for future awards, and I had mixed emotions; I was both excited and scared at what my future might hold.
"Congratulations, Princess," Dad said before kissing me softly on my forehead and walking out of the room. I was still speechless.
I was happy when I climbed into bed that night. I had gotten Ethan back, I'd received my first award from the record company, and I'd survived my encounter with Jared Lumbart without injury. Altogether, it had been a great day. I knew that I wouldn't have many of these days off before school started. I was disappointed that the day was already over, but I knew that even if I was working for the rest of the summer, it was also going to be a lot of fun.
From the concerts, to the sightseeing while we were traveling, to the rush that I got from performing, I couldn't wait to get started!
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The one thing I liked least about Sarah Carerra was her crazy schedule. I knew that I was up early so that I could be interviewed on a number of radio shows.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.32 - Surprise Interviews by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: April 18, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.32 - Surprise Interviews
The calm, serene silence of early morning was shattered by the alarm on my phone for the second time. I groaned loudly, but reached for the nightstand to turn it off. A glance at my clock told me that it was 5:00 in the morning. This was definitely not the time of day I preferred to wake up.
I sighed once again while climbing out of my bed and making my way toward the bathroom. The one thing I liked least about Sarah Carerra was her crazy schedule. I knew that I was up early so that I could be interviewed on a number of radio shows. It was already 8:00 on the East Coast, and the shows there would be ending soon.
After a quick shower to help wake me up, I walked down to the kitchen where I knew Dad would be waiting for me. I smiled when I saw that he had already set out a bowl of cereal for me.
"Thanks, Dad," I told him while sitting down.
"You're welcome, Princess," he replied and took another bite of his own cereal. "It's the least I could do when I drag you out of bed so early."
He pushed a folder toward me, and I took another spoonful before opening it. Inside was some information about each of the people who would be interviewing me today, and about the cities where those stations were located.
"You have three interviews this morning," he stated. "Each will be about 10 minutes long. If you want to go back to bed afterward, you can. We don't have to be at the magazine interview until this afternoon."
I nodded while reading through the information. Climbing back into bed sounded like a good idea right now! I continued to read the information he had given to me while we ate. Once finished, I picked up my bowl and his and took them over to the sink to clean before placing them in the dishwasher. I then joined him in his office where the calls would take place.
He was already sitting behind his desk, so I took the soft chair he had moved to the other side and sat down in front of his office phone. Dad had a headset that he would listen to the calls on while being muted and he left me the handset.
"What now?" I asked him.
"We wait for them to call," he said. "We are on their timetable this morning."
I nodded, but stood up and walked back to my room to get my book before rejoining him. I wasn't going to sit there doing nothing while I waited. Besides, I was starting to get to the best part of the book.
As I was sitting there reading, my stomach started to hurt. Dad immediately noticed my discomfort, but he didn't say anything until I grunted in pain.
"Are you okay?" he asked. The concern on his face was readily apparent.
"Yes," I replied. "My tummy is upset about something."
His concern turned to worry quickly. "I hope you aren't getting sick. That will make getting ready for the tour harder."
I hoped I wasn't either, but a moment later the pain stopped. I smiled at him as I stretched out a bit to relax. He didn't smile back.
It was another 10 minutes before we got the first call. This one was from a radio station in New York City. Dad answered the phone, and spoke with someone on the other end before passing me the handset.
I lifted it to my ear and said, "Hello?"
"Sarah?" someone asked me.
"Yes," I replied.
"Okay," came the response. "If you can hold for one moment, Steve is almost ready for you."
"Okay," I answered and leaned back into the chair. This first interview was supposed to be with Steve and Polly from '99.6, The City'.
It didn't take too long before the voice was back. "I'm going to transfer you over to the air now, Sarah. Have fun."
"Thank you," I replied before I heard a click.
"Sarah Carerra, are you there?" a deep masculine voice spoke immediately.
"Yes," I replied. I assumed this was Steve, but I didn't want to say his name in case I was wrong.
"Excellent, excellent," was his reply. "Welcome to 'The City'. You are on the air with Steve and Polly."
"Hi, Sarah," came a feminine voice that had to be Polly. Before I had a chance to respond, Steve was talking again.
"So, Sarah," he said. "I understand it has been an interesting summer for you. Did you ever expect to become this popular in such a short amount of time?"
"No," I replied with a soft laugh. "When I was signed, I figured I'd have a few songs that people would like to listen to. I never expected to certify a gold album a few days after it was released. This whole thing has been crazy!"
"Well," Holly spoke up. "It is well deserved. I don't think there has been such a good response to a debut album in a long time."
"I agree," Steve added. "These numbers are almost unheard of, even with established artists. You've captured the hearts of America in just less than two months."
"I don't know about that," I said. I knew that I had sold a lot of albums, but that was only a small number when compared to the population of the United States. I still only had a small fan base.
Polly and Steve both laughed for a moment. Eventually, Steve was the one that spoke again. "Sarah, Sarah, Sarah," he said in a fatherly tone. I could imagine him shaking his head as he spoke. "I don't think you realize just how popular you are."
I didn't know how to respond to that, and I unfortunately left a few seconds of dead air before Steve started chuckling again. Then he moved the interview on to another subject.
"Anyway," he said. "You are going to be in New York City in mid-August for a couple of concerts, correct?"
"Yes." I could answer this question. I reached for the calendar of events that Dad had helpfully provided me and scanned for the exact dates. "I'm performing in Central Park on the morning of August 17 as part of the Good Morning USA Summer Concert Series. That will be a free show for anyone who wants to come down. Then I'll be performing again on Saturday the 21st at Radio City Music Hall."
"Two very impressive venues," Polly told me. "Is the Central Park show a full concert?"
I wasn't sure of the answer, and looked to Dad briefly. His nod gave me the information I needed to continue. "Yes," I told her. "It will have the same set list as the rest of the stops on my tour." A second nod from Dad confirmed that I hadn't just lied to them with the second part of my answer.
"Have you ever been to New York before?" Steve asked me next.
"No," I replied, shifting in my seat to find a more comfortable position. "I've never been to the East Coast before. One of the things that excites me the most about this concert tour is the ability to see parts of the country that I've never been to before. I've always wanted to go to New York, and this will be my first trip."
"Do you have anything fun planned while you are here?" Polly queried. I smiled. There were so many things that I wanted to do in New York, I was sure that I wouldn't get a chance to do them all.
"Yes," I told her. "I'll be in New York for about a week, so I've got plenty of time to sightsee. I have a few other commitments while I'm there, but there are a ton of things that I'd like to see. A Broadway show, Times Square, a tour of Central Park, perhaps even a stop at the zoo. I'm sure there are plenty of things that I'll get to experience while I'm there."
"I'm glad to hear that you are taking time out of your busy schedule to sightsee," Steve commented. "Some celebrities fly in, perform, and then fly out and miss all of the culture that New York can provide."
"I really hope that doesn't happen to me, at least not during this tour," I told him. "I'm hoping that I'll get a chance to see a bit of each city I stop in. That will get harder after school starts, when I'm only going to be in town for the weekend, but I still hope they aren't ‘in and out’ stops." I looked over at Dad to get his reaction, and he smiled. That gave me hope that my desires would be honored.
"So you aren't taking time off from school?" Polly asked, surprised.
I was worried for a moment. This was one of the reasons that the secret was a good idea. But it was still a risky thing to mention. "No," I replied. I could see the concern in my dad's face as I skirted the area he didn't like me to get into. "I'm going to try to attend school like normal, at least. We'll see how that works out, though." It was likely to work just fine since nobody would know who I am, but the rest of America didn't need to know that.
"That's commendable," Polly replied. "Too many young artists have trouble keeping their schoolwork up while performing. I'd hate to see something like that happen to you."
"Knowing my dad, he'll make sure my manager starts cancelling concerts if my grades start slipping," I laughed as I spoke. Dad was laughing too, but he was nodding his head in confirmation at the same time. Steve and Polly were laughing along with us.
"Well," Steve spoke when we had calmed down a bit. "I'm glad that you were able to join us this morning, Sarah. I wish we had more time, but we're going to have to let you go."
"Thank you for having me on the show," I told him. "I don't like waking up this early, but at least you guys make it worthwhile."
They were laughing again at my words, but eventually they got around to ending the interview.
"Good bye, Sarah," Steve said, and his words were echoed by Polly.
"Good bye," I replied and heard a click shortly thereafter. I was smiling when I put the handset down on the receiver. That had gone much better than I thought it would.
"That was great!" Dad echoed my thoughts. "I'm so proud of you, Princess."
"Thanks, Daddy," I replied.
I was right in the middle of the climactic scene in my book when the phone rang again. I grumbled at the bad timing, but put my bookmark in between the pages and set it down. Dad was already talking to someone on the other end, and I quickly scanned the information about this radio station once again while I waited for my turn to speak. It wasn't long before I was on the air once again.
"Good morning, Sarah," Ava, the show's host welcomed me. "You’re on CO-94 with Ava, Ripley, and the Munchkin."
I chuckled to myself at her words. I had thought that 'the Munchkin' was a typo, but apparently I was mistaken.
"Good morning," I replied. "I'm happy to be here." Ripley and the Munchkin also introduced themselves. I chuckled again when I heard the deep bass of the Munchkin’s voice.
"It's been what, a week since the release of your first album?" Ava asked.
"Yes," I replied. "I can't believe that we got it out the door as quickly as we did."
"That's right," Ava continued. "You only signed with Olympic Records at the beginning of the summer, correct?"
"Right," I confirmed. "It's only been about two months. I've been very fortunate to have a number of amazing people working to get my music out there. I'm still overwhelmed at how successful they have been."
"I think that a lot of that success has to be attributed to you," Ava said. "You've definitely started your career with a bang."
"Thank you," I told her. "But I wouldn't be where I am today without the wonderful people who support me."
"How did you get your start?" Ava asked me. "Did you send your demo into a lot of record companies?"
I shifted in my seat to lean back and relax a bit. Ava had a very calm and comforting tone to her voice, which helped me to feel more at ease. I'd been pretty tense after the first interview, and my back hurt from sitting so straight in the chair.
"To tell you the truth, I hadn't recorded a single thing before I was discovered," I explained. "My two best friends dragged me to a party one night where they had karaoke. I was discovered there after I ended up on stage, and I was signed within a week."
"Wow!" the Munchkin replied. "Most people have to fight to get their demos heard. You're quite lucky."
"Like I said, I've got amazing people around me."
"Tell us about your music," Ava kept the conversation going. "You write many of your own songs, correct?"
"I do," I answered excitedly. Writing music was something that I could talk about all day if given the chance. "Six of the songs on the CD were written by me. Some of them were co-written by my friends, but I also try to have a hand in each of the songs that I sing. My label has given me a number of songs, but I think they are willing to let me write my own music from this point forward."
Dad's eyebrows rose at my pronouncement, and he opened his day planner and started jotting down some notes. I had a feeling that he was going to bring up with Scott what I had just said. He had a quirky grin on his face, and I could feel the same thing curling my own lips.
"That's excellent!" Ava agreed. "Speaking of your music, I wanted to ask you about a couple of your songs. First, who can forget your heartfelt dedication to Chloe during the televised concert with Josh Holliday. Who is Chloe?"
I smiled. I knew Dad was recording these interviews. I was going to have to play this one back for Emily later.
"Chloe is my best friend." I told Ava happily. "We met when my family moved into her neighborhood when I was two. We've been inseparable ever since. She was also one of the two friends who dragged me to the party that got me discovered. Xander was the other."
"And Chloe helped you write 'Ever After'," Ripley stated. It wasn't exactly a question.
"Yes, she did," I told him. "We've written a few over the years, but only three of them have been included on the album. She also helped me to write 'Enchanted Forest' and 'Friends Forever'."
"That's awesome that you have a friend who can help inspire you like that," Ava interjected. "It's a beautiful song, but I also would like to ask you about another one before we have to let you go. I know you have a busy schedule this morning."
Busy? I was sitting around reading more than I was being interviewed.
Before I got a chance to respond she continued with her question. "'You Can't Hurt Me' has a powerful message to it. People are already screaming 'Grammy' about this one. Can you tell us a little about where it came from?"
"Sure," I replied, while balking at the idea of it receiving a Grammy. It wasn't THAT good. "'You Can't Hurt Me' is a mixture of the feelings and frustrations that I experienced after the press conference I had after collapsing on the 'Wake Up!' show."
"For those who haven't heard," Ripley interrupted. "Sarah was confronted by a rather persistent and obnoxious reporter at the press conference, right?"
"Right," I told him. "I didn't really want to share the personal details of my body with the world. He sort of forced that out of me. But later that evening my dad managed to cheer me up, and I started to have a feeling that I needed to write about it. 'You Can't Hurt Me' is what I came up with. It's my statement to the world to let them know that I'm my own person, and I'm not going to change because they want me to."
"I love the emotions that the song portrays," the Munchkin stated. "And that video was awesome. I haven't seen a video quite that entertaining in a while."
"Yes," Ripley agreed. "You really managed to capture the pain that you were feeling in the song. I can't imagine going through something like that, but I must commend you on how well you have handled the pressures that this industry can place on a young artist."
"Thank you," I told him, and I felt a smile widen across my face.
"CO-94 is one of the sponsors of your concert here in Cleveland," Ava told me. I didn't know that information, but it wasn't much of a surprise. "Can you tell us about what we can expect?"
"Uh huh," I replied. I grabbed the paper with my schedule on it once again and searched for the Cleveland show. "I'll be performing at the Nautica Pavilion on Friday, August 13," I told her. "We haven't defined a full set list yet, but the songs are likely to be a mix of what is available on the 'Intuition' album, as well as a few covers and some new songs that the band and I have been working on. It should be a lot of fun."
"Friday the 13th, huh?" the Munchkin said before laughing to himself. "That should make for an interesting show."
I hesitated for a moment. I hadn't made that connection before. I wasn't a very superstitious person, but that didn't mean that it didn't give me pause for a brief moment.
"I'm sure everything will be fine," Ava said wryly, filling the short silence before it turned into dead air. "Thanks for coming on the show, Sarah. It'll be nice to meet you when you are in town."
"It was my pleasure," I told all of them. Then I heard the click. I hoped that the lack of a goodbye did not mean that the interview had gone bad.
"Not everyone likes goodbyes on air," Dad explained at what must have been a confused look on my face. I shrugged my shoulders and picked up my book.
Fifteen minutes later I was trying to finish my book before the last call when I felt it. I bolted upright in my chair. I knew immediately what it was, and I felt excitement and trepidation at the same time.
"What's wrong?" Dad asked immediately. I wasn't going to discuss this with him, though.
"Nothing," I replied as I quickly stood up and headed for the door, and the bathroom beyond. I was prepared for this. I knew it would happen eventually.
"Megan!" Dad yelled in worry for a moment. Then he repeated his call in frustration when the phone started ringing. I grimaced at the bad timing, but he was just going to have to stall them for me for a moment.
It didn't take me very long before I was able to make my way out of the bathroom and back to Dad's office. He looked very unhappy when I tried to smile innocently at him. I sat down and immediately took the handset from him before he could ask me anything. I had to wait a few more minutes before I was on the air, but at least it kept him from yelling at me for running out, or worse yet, asking where I had gone.
"Sarah!" rang out in my ears a moment later. "You’re 'Seaside' with Shark, the Surfer, and Dave. Good morning!"
"Good morning," I replied. 'Seaside' was a local radio station that I had grown up listening to, though admittedly I didn't really listen to their morning show. It was nice to be featured on a station that most of my friends and schoolmates listened too.
"Congratulations on your new album," Shark continued. "It's already posting some impressive numbers."
"Thank you," I replied.
"You're from Los Angeles, are you not?" one of the others asked me. I think it was Dave, but I hadn't listened to the show enough to know for sure, and they hadn't introduced themselves.
"I grew up in Malibu," I told them. If they asked for more detail, I could only hope the time I had spent with Gran and Grandaddy while growing up was enough to make it seem like I knew what I was talking about. Malibu was where Sarah supposedly lived, but I had never lived anywhere other than the house I grew up in.
"Malibu," the third guy said. "Good surfing up that way. I could spend all day there."
"Shut up, Surfer," Shark badgered with his co-host. "You probably haven't even been up there before."
"Whatever, Dude," the guy I now knew for sure was Surfer said. "You're just jealous of my moves."
There was an audible sigh over the air before Shark continued the interview.
"Anyway, Sarah," he said. "We're glad that you are talking with us this morning. We wanted to spend most of the time taking calls from our listeners, and we are already running late. Is that okay with you?"
"Yes," I told him. I hoped I sounded calm, because I didn't feel that way. I knew that we were taking call-ins during this interview, and that just brought back bad memories of taking questions from the press at the press conference. There was no way to limit what the people asked on air, and I didn't want to be placed in a scenario like I had been in when Brady Townsend confronted me.
I looked up at Dad, and he gave me a smile. It was obvious that he was still upset with me for running off like I had, but I knew that he would be there to help me through this.
"Alright," Shark said and I heard a small click on the line. "First caller, what is your name and question?"
"Hi Sarah, I'm your biggest fan!" came a feminine voice that was really excited. "My name is Callie and I was wondering. Do you have any pets?"
"Hi, Callie," I replied with a bit of humor at her excitement. I was happy that we were starting with a nice, easy question. "I don't have any pets right now. My family had a really great dog named Ginger while growing up. She passed away a few years ago, though. I'd love to get a little puppy. It's been too long without one scampering around the house."
"Thank you," Callie said forlornly before I heard another click. That was even quicker than most of the interactions I'd had with fans at the CD signing.
"Next caller," Shark said. "Name and question, please."
This seemed very clinical, but I was glad that I had the chance to answer some questions for my fans, even if it scared me to death that they were going to ask something I didn't want to answer.
"My name is Rob," came the voice of a young man. "I was wondering. Is it true that you and Josh broke up?"
"I..." I said, but wasn't sure how to continue. Josh and I had never really been together, so there wasn't any way we could have broken up. "Josh and I were never really together," I told him. "We're just good friends."
"So you're single?" Rob asked hopefully.
"Yes," I replied cautiously. "At the moment I am."
I heard him cheer before he hung up again. That was one of the questions I would have preferred not to answer, but at least it seemed to go okay.
"How are we doing, Sarah?" Shark asked me. "Still okay?"
"Yeah!" I tried to sound enthusiastic, but those kinds of questions would make continuing this interview hard.
I heard another click before Shark once again put another caller on the air.
"Hi, Sarah," I heard another feminine voice. This one sounded like she was one of my older fans, or perhaps a mother of one of my fans. "I just wanted to know if you planned to go to college."
"Oh, okay," I caught myself saying, surprised. I hadn't even really started thinking about where I wanted to go to college yet. "I'm only sixteen, but I do hope to go to college someday. I hope that it will be in my near future, but even if I have to take a few years off because of my career, I would still like to go as soon as possible."
"So you would put college off to sing?" she said in an accusing tone. This question had just turned ugly. I looked over at Dad. He had a small grimace on his face, but I could also see his curiosity at how I was going to answer this question.
"I think that trying to learn and improve my knowledge is a very important thing to do," I told her cautiously. "I want to be a well-rounded person. College is definitely a way to do that. But I think that a lot of what I've done this summer has helped me to grow as a person too. I'm not planning to put off college right now, but if I have to choose between college and singing in a few years, I probably will push college back for a bit. I think that there is as much value in what I am doing now as there is in attending college. College will come when the time is right."
I looked over at Dad. He had a mixed expression on his face. It looked like he admired the way I answered the question, but I wasn’t certain if he liked my answer. This next school year would tell us a lot about whether college was feasible while continuing to work on my music. I sincerely hoped that it was. Emily and I had been talking about going to college together for years. I'd hate to see that ruined by my career.
"Thank you, caller," Shark said and I heard the click indicating the caller was no longer on the line. That was when I realized that she had never given her name.
The show continued along that vein for a while. This was the longest interview of the morning, and I was happy to interact with the local fans again. Eventually, it started to wind down.
"Last question," Shark told me and the audience. "Caller, you're on the air with Sarah Carerra. Please give us your name and question."
"Hi, Sarah! It's so nice to talk to you again! My name is Brittany, and I got to meet you at the CD signing."
She paused after introducing herself, so I greeted her. "Hi, Brittany, it's nice to talk to you again."
"Thank you," she replied, and her voice sounded even happier. "I was hoping you could give me some advice. I love to sing, but I'm scared to death to sing in front of anybody. I've never been able to get up on stage or anything. What would you suggest I do?"
"That's an easy one," I told her and felt my smile grow. I had personal experience with this one, and knew exactly what to tell her. "If you would have tried to get me up on stage three months ago, I would have felt the same way. I was scared to death to sing in front of people. My friend Chloe would be the first to tell you how stupid I was being. She dragged me to a party and forced me onto the stage to sing karaoke. I was signed within a week.
"What you need to do is just get up on that stage and sing. It's hard at first, but it gets easier and easier every time you do. If you don't have a stage, sing for your family. Sing for your friends. Have fun with it. And if you get the rush like I do, it will make it all worth it."
"The rush?" Dave asked, confused.
"What's the rush?" Brittany asked next.
"The rush," I smiled. I wasn't entirely sure how to describe it to them. But I knew I had to try now. "Is when I get up on stage, or start performing somewhere, I always feel this fire start to build within me. It grows and grows, and it is one of the most wonderful feelings I have ever felt before. I'm totally addicted to it now, and I know I won't be able to give up performing for a long time, if ever."
"That sounds a lot like an adrenaline rush," Surfer said. "I get that from surfing."
"Maybe," I replied. "All I know is that it has helped me to overcome my fears. When I first took the stage at my concert in Salt Lake City, I was scared to death. But the rush wiped that all away before I got to the first chorus of the first song. Now, I'm excited to get on stage every single time."
"That sounds awesome!" Brittany almost yelled. "I totally want to see if I can feel that! Thank you, Sarah!"
"You're welcome," I replied with some humor in my voice at her new excitement. "Performing is fun. Think about it that way instead of being scared, and it will be easier."
I looked at Dad, and he was smiling again. This answer he liked. I smiled back while Shark closed the interview.
"Thank you for taking the time to speak with us, Sarah," Shark said. "We'll have to do it again."
"I'd like that," I replied.
"Good bye, Sarah," Shark said, and the sentiment was repeated by his co-hosts.
"Good bye," I told them and heard the click that indicated that I was no longer connected with them. I hung up the phone and leaned back into the chair. That had been fun.
When I looked over at Dad, he had a grim look on his face again. I knew immediately that I was about to get a lecture. I sighed while he started to speak.
"We need to talk about your professionalism," he said to me.
"Dad, it isn't what you think," I told him, but he didn't buy it.
"They were very upset to have to wait for you," he lectured. "If you do that too often, people won't want you on their show, and we need that publicity."
"I'm sorry," I told him. "But something very important came up."
"What?" he asked. "What could be so important to make them wait?"
"I..." I started. I really didn't want to talk to him about this. "Girl stuff," I finally said.
His eyes shot up at my explanation. It hadn't entered his mind! The only other period I'd had was while I was in the hospital, so this was new to both of us. But he'd been living with Mom long enough to know what that meant.
"Why didn't you just tell me that?" he asked. "I've been upset with you for the last half an hour for no reason.
"I didn't want to talk to you about it," I said, feeling my cheeks flush. He nodded his head to indicate he understood.
"I'm sorry for lecturing you," he said. "I should have asked first. Next time it happens, please let me know, so I know how to stall. Meanwhile, if you want to go back to bed for a while, you can. We don't have to be at the magazine interview until after lunch."
"Okay," I replied. "I'd like that.
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When we finished playing each of the songs, we'd have a brief discussion about whether to include it in the tour or not. Truthfully, I didn't think anyone was going to say ‘no’ to any of them. It felt slightly like we were just going through the motions when everyone already knew they would be included. They probably just wanted to hear them.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.33 - The Songs We Sing by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: April 25, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.33 - The Songs We Sing
Dad awakened me a few hours later to allow me enough time to get ready and eat lunch before we had to go. I was a little tired from the wacky schedule, and wondered if going back to bed had been the best idea. But by the time we pulled up to the building where the magazine interview was going to take place, I felt awake again.
It wasn't until we walked into the lobby that I really understood what this magazine interview meant. Dad hadn't mentioned what magazine it was, so I was very surprised to see that I would be featured in Dazzle!
I was giddy with excitement as we were led back to a small conference room by the receptionist. Emily and I had read many issues of this magazine over the years. Being featured inside was going to be a cool experience! It focused mostly on teen girl issues from fashion to dating and beyond.
Inside the conference room was an older woman with a friendly smile on her face. She introduced herself as one of the staff writers, and wasted no time in starting the interview. I answered even more questions like the ones that I had been asked earlier in the morning, and it wasn't long before we were done. I couldn't wait to read the entire thing.
I was surprised to be escorted down to a photo shoot afterward, because they told me that I was going to be on the cover! Dad swore he had told me that news, but I was pretty sure that was something that I would have remembered. Julia and Stephanie were both there to get me ready, and they took pictures of me in four different outfits before we were done for the day.
When I climbed into bed that night, I had a very pleasant feeling coursing through my veins. There had been a few questions I would have preferred not to answer throughout the day. But in the end, everything had turned out okay. I just didn't want to wait the month it would take for the magazine to be on the newsstands.
Thursday was going to be an exciting day. I was really giddy as I got ready to head to the studio. This morning we were going to have our first meeting about the concert tour, where we would decide what songs were going to be sung. Tomorrow I was going to appear on the 'Tonight Show' again, and then I'd have the weekend to prepare for being Sarah nearly full-time for the rest of the summer vacation that I had left.
It was going to be busy, but it was also going to be fun. I was both excited and sad that I wouldn't have a lot of time to myself. Plus, I wouldn't see Emily or Ethan for two whole weeks once we were on the road for the cross-country portion of the tour.
When we arrived at the studio, we were led down a hall to a large room I had never been in before. It appeared to be a small events hall. The band had their equipment set up in one area, and there was a round table nearby where a number of people were already sitting. The band and the girls were already at the table. Scott was talking to another lady whom I had never met. There were also two other guys in their late 20's sitting at the table.
"Hi, everyone," I greeted them as Dad and I approached. They all looked up and greeted me in return. Scott, the woman, and the two guys all stood up so I approached where they were standing. Scott made the introductions.
"Sarah," Scott said while gesturing to the woman he had been talking to. "This is Rosemary Hobbes. She will be the event coordinator for each of your concerts. She's in charge of everyone and everything. If you have any needs or concerns at the different venues, you should seek her out."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sarah," Rosemary said with a friendly smile before extending her hand.
I took it and gave it a shake while replying. "I'm glad to have you on board."
Scott then gestured toward the two guys. "These two will be the directors of your sound team," he said. "This is Stewart King and this is Jared Klauson. They have a number of years experience in putting on concerts and we are lucky to have them on our team. Anything related to the sound and music will be under their jurisdiction at the concerts."
"I'm honored," I said while shaking Stewart's hand before doing the same for Jared.
"The honor is ours," Stewart said while giving me a look that unsettled me a bit. They were much older than me, but they were looking at me in the same way that the boys my own age did. I knew that it happened, but I wished they had disguised it better. They seemed to realize that they were making me uncomfortable, however, and tried not to leer. I mentally thanked them for that, even if I was unhappy at their attention.
"Have a seat," Scott told me. "We're only waiting on one more."
I nodded and sat next to Sophie. Dad sat on my other side. I talked with the band for a bit before the last person arrived. I smiled immediately when I saw Kate Abernathy walk into the room. Kate was my choreographer, but I hadn't seen her since before my first concert.
"Hi, Kate," I said when she took a seat next to Dad.
She smiled back at me before speaking. "It's nice to see you again, Sarah. You never signed up for those dance classes."
"I..." I didn't have a response to that. But the grin that broke out across her face let me know that she was joking with me. I started laughing and she joined in.
"Now that everyone is here," Scott spoke up next. "I'd like to get started. We have a lot to do today so that everyone can get ready for Monday." He looked down at the paper in front of him. "Monday we will go over everything that we need to know about the concert tour. Tuesday we will start choreography, correct?" He was looking at Kate, who nodded. "We've got two weeks to get ready. It isn't much time, but we have good people in this room, and I know we'll be ready for the first concert on the 31st. Okay?"
Everyone around the table was nodding, and Scott looked down at the stack of papers in front of him again.
"I have a list of about 30 songs here," he said. "We need to fill about an hour and a half to two hours worth of time."
He started passing papers around to everyone. Once I got mine I took a look at the songs that he had listed. Most of them were obvious. The entire list of songs from my CD and the six songs that the band and I had worked on Monday night were all listed, and made up the majority of the list. The other 11 were songs that the studio had obtained permission to use as possible cover songs that I could sing. The majority of this meeting would determine which of those songs I would be singing to fill in the gaps, as it was unlikely that we would cut any of my own work from the set list.
There were a number of songs listed that I liked. There were some that I had never heard of. Also...
"We can scratch 22, 24, and 29 off the list," I spoke immediately. There was no sense in debating about those three. "I don't like any of those songs."
"Okay," Scott said and did just that with his pen. "I propose that we include all songs from the 'Intuition' album. This is the 'Intuition' tour, after all."
Everyone agreed, so he moved on to the next point. "We also have six songs that Sarah and the band have written that they would like to include. Those are 14-19 on your list. I tentatively propose that we include them too. Original content will be better than cover songs. I would, however, like to hear each song before we make a final decision on them."
He looked over the remaining songs once again. "That leaves us with eight possible covers. We can go through each of them and see what everyone's opinions are. But before we do that, can we hear the ones you have been working on?"
Scott was looking toward the end of the table where the band and I were sitting. I looked over at them for a second to gauge their reaction before nodding back to him. The band and I stood up and we made our way over to the instruments.
As I sang through each of the songs that the band and I had written, I just had to smile at how crazy this summer had been. I had talked a lot about it yesterday in the interviews, but I was still amazed at how quickly everything had happened! Just three months ago I hadn't even been on stage, but now I was going on a concert tour in two weeks!
When we finished playing each of the songs, we'd have a brief discussion about whether to include it or not. Truthfully, I didn't think anyone was going to say ‘no’ to any of them. It felt slightly like we were just going through the motions when everyone already knew they would be included. They probably just wanted to hear them. By the time we had sung all of them, everyone was smiling. They were all approved.
The band and I took our seats around the table again so that we could go through the list of cover songs.
"Okay," Scott started us off again. "We have eight cover songs left to look at. We have each one available to listen to if we need to. First up, 'Super Trouper' from Mamma Mia!"
"Yes," I voted immediately. I would love to include a song from Mamma Mia! in my concerts, and 'Super Trouper' was an excellent choice. Scott looked around the room, and when nobody argued against me he put a check mark on his paper and moved on to the next one.
"'You Set Me Free' from Michelle Branch," he said. Everyone turned to me immediately to get my reaction.
"I like the song," I supplied.
"It feels a little too recent to me," Rosemary said. "I mean, my daughters still listen to it often enough that it might feel overused."
"I agree," Dad agreed.
"Okay, if there are no objections, then we'll cross it off," Scott said, hovering his pen above his paper. When nobody said anything, he crossed the song out and moved on to the next.
"Don McLean's 'If We Try'," Scott said and looked up at the rest of us again.
"I don't know that one," I told him. Scott turned to his laptop and did something before the song started playing in the room. It sounded like it was made way before I was born, but I liked it. It had this really slow, soft beat that had a kind of melancholy feel at the same time that it made me hope for more. By the time we were done listening to it, everyone agreed that it would be a good one to use.
"Alright," Scott said and made a mark on his paper once again. "Five more. Next is 'Downtown' by Petula Clark."
"I think that one will be perfect for Sarah," Dad piped up immediately. I had to make them play it for me since I'd never heard it, but I agreed with him quickly.
"Jewel's 'You Were Meant For'," Scott said next.
"I really hate that song!" Jason spoke up vehemently. "Can we please not do any Jewel?"
"What's wrong with Jewel? I love Jewel!" Sophie argued. I liked Jewel too, so I was intrigued to hear what Jason would say.
"I just don't, okay?" he said.
"Jewel reminds him of an old girlfriend," Connor supplied. "Bad memories."
"Oh," I said, understanding why he wouldn't want to play any of her songs. "Well, there are plenty of other songs. I guess we can skip Jewel."
"Thank you," Jason said, and the sincerity in his voice and in his eyes when he looked at me made me realize that he really didn't want to perform any Jewel songs. I wondered if I’d be able to get the story out of one of the other band members.
Scott marked his sheet again. Nobody had any issues with the remaining three songs: 'Breathless' by The Corrs, 'Torn' by Natalie Imbruglia, and Lisa Loeb's 'Stay (I Miss You)'. They were all songs I had heard before and liked, and I was excited to get to sing them on stage.
Once we were finished, Scott looked over the list again, and it was apparent that he was counting the number of songs that we had agreed upon.
"This set list is shorter than I would have hoped for," Scott told us after adding up the time for each song. "We could use one or two more to fill in the time. I could look for other songs that we could try to get performance rights for, or Sarah, do you think you could get us another?"
Everyone looked at me, and I was certain that the surprise was evident on my face. I had never been under a deadline to write a song before. I always wrote when I had something to write about. I didn't know what would happen if he put me on the spot like this.
"Uhm, okay," I said, but I knew I sounded really nervous.
"If you can't come up with anything, than we still have enough," Scott said. "But if anything comes to you over the next week, we'd be happy to use it."
I nodded. I heard his words, but I got the feeling he was really hoping that I came up with another song. I knew I was going to need to spend the weekend searching for something to write about.
"All right," Scott spoke up once again. "Now that the easy part is over, let's talk about what order to sing them in."
When I got home that evening, I was exhausted. I never would have thought that trying to decide what order to sing songs in would be such an issue. It took us nearly two hours to determine the order. Everyone had an opinion, and some of those opinions were very strong to their owners. The only thing that seemed to have preference in the decisions was my choice. It almost turned into a frenzy when people realized that Scott was listening to my final say. But in the end we managed to put together a good set list, and I didn't think anyone was too upset with it. I certainly didn't want to ever do anything like THAT again, however.
After lunch, the band and I were given use of the room to rehearse the songs that we had chosen for the concert tour. We had six cover songs that we had to learn to play together. We would get more rehearsal time during the following two weeks, but we wanted to be able to perform them by then, instead of learning as we went.
Between the two, I felt like we had been working non-stop on the tour for weeks already. I hoped that the rest of the time we had to get ready for the tour wasn't that stressful.
It was with some trepidation, and with a lot of reluctance, that I sat down on Sarah's couch after dinner to figure out what to write another song about. I had absolutely no idea where to start. I knew that I couldn't force the song out. That wasn't the way I wrote. I had to have an inspiration to pull that guitar out of its case. If I didn't, then the only thing I would be able to do effectively was put the guitar away again.
But I could try to find that inspiration. I changed my position so that I was lying on the couch, my head on one of the pillows while staring at the ceiling.
What could I write a song about? I'd written about a lot of things, and they all flashed through my mind. But none of them evoked the feeling that usually came with the beginning of a new song. I thought about the other parts of my life. I had been through a lot this summer, could I write about that?
No. I couldn't find the inspiration there, either.
"Mom! Come quick!" I heard Austin scream from the front of the house, breaking my thought patterns. Curiosity got the better of me, and I stood up and stepped out of Sarah's room to see what was going on.
I found Austin and Mom sitting on the couch watching a home video that had apparently been taken earlier that morning. He had mentioned that he had been taking surfing lessons to me, but I had completely forgotten about them. But the video clearly showed how good he was getting.
I sat down to watch in amazement. I always thought that it would be fun to surf, but he already looked like a pro, and he had only been taking lessons for a few weeks or so.
"Cool, huh?" Austin asked, and I turned to see him looking at me.
"You're really good!" I told him sincerely. The smile on his face grew even wider at my words. I continued watching for a while before I started to get an idea. I could write a song about Austin!
In excitement, I returned to Sarah's room after the video was finished, and picked up my guitar. This was going to be easy.
I screamed in frustration again while ripping another page out of my notebook. I couldn't do this anymore!
"Everything okay, Princess?" Dad asked me from the door to Sarah's room. I hadn't even heard it open.
"No!" I screamed back louder than I should have. Then I sighed in frustration and placed my guitar back into its case. I loved Austin, and I wanted to write a song about him. But now was not the time. I was trying to force it, and it was not working.
Dad came over and sat down next to me. "I'm sorry Scott put you on the spot like that," he said. "Remember, you don't have to come up with another one. I know he wants it, but we really do have enough songs. Don't frustrate yourself over this. If something comes up, great - we'll include it. If not, it isn't a big deal. Okay?"
I sighed. At least he was sincere, unlike Scott had been. I knew that I had to follow his advice, though. I couldn't try to force a song. It just didn't work that way.
"Come get some sleep," he told me. "You've still got a big day tomorrow, and I want you rested for the 'Tonight Show' interview. The song will come when it is ready."
I smiled up at him. He knew exactly what I needed to hear. I kissed him on his cheek. "Thank you, Daddy."
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"My first guest of the evening has managed to capture the hearts of America in a very short amount of time. Her first album, 'Intuition', is currently on track to go platinum within the first month of its release. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the lovely and talented, Sarah Carerra!"
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.34 - Tonight's Headline by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: May 2, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.34 - Tonight's Headline
I dreamed about Ethan. I couldn't remember most of what the dream was about, but there was one thing that I knew for sure when I awoke. He would always be my friend.
Tuesday had done a lot to rebuild our friendship, even though I knew there was still a lot that we would need to do before he was comfortable around me again. At least he was trying now. I needed to do the same thing. A plan started to form in my head while I got ready for the day. I wanted to go over to his house and try something that the dream had helped me think of for improving our friendship, but that wasn't possible right now. Julia and Stephanie would be here at any moment to help me get ready for the 'Tonight Show'. I knew that I would be over at his house after we got home, though.
I managed to eat some breakfast before Julia and Stephanie rang our doorbell. I let them in and we headed for Sarah's room to get ready. Much like last time, Julia wanted me to look expensive. This time, however, she had a dress for me. I ended up in a slightly formal yellow dress that really complimented my looks. I still looked like a million dollars when I looked in the mirror. I was absolutely certain that Dad would hate the price tag when he saw it, but it was the perfect dress for me.
Instead of heading for the limo that I knew was waiting for me, Julia surprised me by pulling out another outfit.
"What's this for?" I asked her while examining what she had pulled out for me. It looked like fairly ordinary clothes consisting of a pair of jeans and a pretty pink top.
"This is your pre-show outfit," she said. Then she laughed at what must have been a confused look on my face. I hadn't needed a pre-show outfit before this point in time. "Don said that you would be interacting with fans before the show, and we don't want anything to happen to the expensive dress. I let you try it on because I wanted to make sure it fit."
"Oh," I replied, surprised. Dad hadn't told me anything about fan interaction. There was always some interaction with the fans wherever I went, but Julia's description made it seem like this would be a bigger deal.
I reluctantly took off the dress and changed into the other outfit. After I had on the jeans and top, Julia handed me a couple of bracelets and a necklace to act as the glam. As far as Sarah's outfits went, this one had very little glam involved, which led me to raise my eyebrows in question to Julia while looking in the mirror.
She laughed, but came over and took a look from behind me. "You proved me wrong with the album cover," she said. "You don't need a lot of glam to make your outfits work. I think that we still want to continue using it because it will help pull your image away from Megan, but we can probably start cutting back on some of it. If we know that you are going to be making a change from Megan to Sarah, we might want to provide more glam to help cover the difference, but your smile is often enough to get the job done otherwise."
I smiled back at her. The glam had been a part of my life since Sarah had been created, but some of it had been uncomfortable to wear. I liked the idea of wearing less and focusing it more on jewelry or something else that was less intrusive.
"Of course, your stage outfits are a different matter altogether," she smirked at me. "There will still likely be plenty of glam used there." I chuckled back.
When we finally walked into the front room, I was surprised to find two men dressed in suits sitting on the couch talking to Mom and Dad. They all stood up when I entered. Both of the men looked like they could have been in the military, and they both had those earpieces that I always saw Secret Service agents wearing in the movies.
"There she is," Dad said with a smile. "Sarah, I'd like to introduce you to Cole Wagner and Mason Eckles. They have been hired to be in charge of your security."
Surprised again, I looked at the guys one more time. They both looked like they were in their early thirties, and one thing stood out above all else. I wouldn't want to get into a fight with either of them.
"It's nice to meet you, Ms. Carerra," Cole said while extending his hand. He looked to be about Dad's age, but he was in a lot better shape. And that was saying something, since Dad was pretty fit.
"It's nice to meet you," I said while shaking his hand. Then I turned to Mason. He almost looked like he could be Cole's twin. I took his hand. "But please, call me Sarah."
"Sarah it is," Mason replied with a smile. I had been worried that they would have the same bland personalities as the people in the movies, but he actually seemed to be nice. I wondered if he'd act the same way when we were in public.
"We need to go," Dad said, and everyone was quick to follow him out to the waiting limo. Mom and Dad got in with me, while the others got into their own cars. The two security guards had an imposing black SUV, while Stephanie and Julia got into Julia's Lexus.
"Do I really need security?" I asked Dad while we were driving.
"Yes," he replied almost instantly and with conviction. I was surprised! If he was that sure I needed security, then there must be a reason.
"Have there been threats against me?" I asked him, already knowing the answer.
Dad sighed, and struggled to determine if he should answer that question. In the end, though, he knew that I already knew the answer.
"All celebrities get threats, Megan," he said. "Some people can be really jealous and cold-hearted. I don't want you to assume that anything is going to happen just because you get the threats, just like I won't assume nothing will happen. Cole and Mason are an insurance policy. They are paid well to keep you safe, and they are really good at what they do. Both of them are highly-decorated ex-Marines. We are lucky to have them and their team working for us."
"Do they know about me?" I asked.
Dad's frown told me the answer before he ever opened his mouth. I knew how much Dad hated letting new people in on the secret. But this was something that would be hard to hide from the guys who had been hired to keep me safe.
"Silence is part of their contract, however," Dad said. He didn't answer my question because he knew I had seen his frown. "If you ever go anywhere as Sarah, they won't be far behind."
"What about my privacy?" I asked him bluntly. I didn't really want two guys following me around everywhere I went.
"They will give it to you," Dad promised. "They aren't like the Secret Service. They won't be following you around everywhere. But when we have events where you will be in the public eye, like this morning, they will be around."
I leaned back in my seat and sighed. I could understand the need for security, but I didn't like the idea of having them around. It was just one more thing in Sarah's life I would have to get used to.
When we arrived at the 'Tonight Show' studio, I realized immediately why I was wearing a pre-show outfit. The last time I had been on the show I had arrived and gone in a side door. Today, we pulled up to the front door where a line of people were waiting to get in for the show.
The people in line all turned and started to get excited when the limo pulled up. The line was rather long since the doors were supposed to open in an hour. The limo stopped about halfway down the line, and before I could even reach for the handle to the door Mason was already opening it. His crisp, dark suit was a stark contrast to everyone else around as I climbed out of the limo.
The screams hit me immediately. Every time I heard the shrill sound, it warmed my heart. I never expected to have people care about me that much! I knew what it was like to feel star struck. I hadn't made the best first impressions when I’d met Josh Holliday and Daren Stockard. I couldn't believe that people felt the same way when meeting me.
Dad climbed out behind me, and immediately handed me a permanent marker before helping Mom out. Then they started heading for the doors to the studio. I could see the quirky smile on Mom's face at the attention I was receiving as they walked by.
I immediately walked the short distance between the car and where the line was being held back by a guy dressed exactly like Cole and Mason, but whom I hadn't met before. I uncapped the marker and reached for the first thing that was handed to me.
I moved along the line slowly, autographing items, taking pictures with the fans, talking to them and even giving some of them hugs. There were cameras everywhere. People were trying to hand me things to sign left and right. Everyone was trying to get my attention as I moved down the line. I tried my best to appease everyone as I slowly moved toward the door.
Cole and Mason were there the whole time, keeping the people from overwhelming me. Mentally I thanked Dad for hiring them. I might not have liked the idea earlier, but they were proving themselves almost immediately.
I was pretty close to the door when Cole leaned in and whispered in my ear.
"You're needed for your sound check," he said.
I nodded back at him while still talking to the fans and signing autographs. It took me a couple of minutes before I was ready to step inside the building, and by that time Cole looked antsy. I didn't think he expected me to keep going, but I knew that I couldn't leave the fans until I was ready.
Once we were inside, I was directed straight to the stage where I had performed before. The band was there waiting for me, and we quickly performed a sound check before I was ushered off to my dressing room to change into the dress.
My life was exciting!
Someone knocked on the door while Stephanie was finishing my makeup. One of the band members opened it, and I heard the voice of Todd Thomas shortly afterward.
"Hi, Sarah," he said happily. I struggled to keep myself from turning my head while Stephanie made a few last strokes with her brush. When she was finished, I turned toward the host of the 'Tonight Show'.
"Hi, Todd," I returned excitedly while standing up and walking over to take his outstretched hand.
"Are you nervous this time?" he asked me with a wry grin.
I laughed immediately. The last time I had been here I had only sung a song. I had told him then that I was likely to be nervous if he ever interviewed me.
"No," I replied truthfully. "I'm afraid you are too late in that department. I've done enough interviews this week alone to make me lose my nervousness."
He mock frowned at my answer, but it wasn't long before he was smiling again. "My loss, I guess," he said. "So, exciting stuff tonight. You'll be the first and last guest of the evening."
"Wait," I said confused. "I'm the FIRST guest?"
Todd looked surprised at my question, but nodded. I guess that was probably something I should have known, but I didn't remember Dad telling me that! There had been a number of things that he had either forgotten to mention to me, or that I seemed to be forgetting lately!
"But I thought that the headliners were always the first guests," I told him. He started chuckling at me, which didn't make me feel any better.
"Sarah, you ARE the headliner tonight," he told me. I just stood there, stunned! I wasn't popular enough to be the headliner!
"Anyway," Todd continued. "I just wanted to pop in and say 'Hi' quickly. I'll see you out there shortly."
"Okay," I replied, but I was still confused at how I had become the headliner.
"My first guest of the evening has managed to capture the hearts of America in a very short amount of time. Her first album, 'Intuition', is currently on track to go platinum within the first month of its release. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the lovely and talented, Sarah Carerra!"
I smiled at Todd's introduction while taking a step forward onto the set. I smiled even wider when I caught sight of all the people in the audience. I gave them a friendly wave while walking toward the center of the area where Todd's desk was. He shook my hand before returning behind his desk while I took a seat in the chair next to it. Once I was seated I crossed my legs and pulled on the hem of my skirt a bit to make sure it was decent.
"Welcome back to the 'Tonight Show', Sarah," Todd said once the crowd had quieted once again.
"Thank you for having me back," I replied.
"This is your first time in the chair, right?" Todd asked me.
"Yes," I replied with an excited smile. "Last time I was here, I only sang."
"Well, welcome to the show," he replied happily. "Now, backstage you told me that you weren't nervous, but you're what, 16 years old?"
"I am," I answered. "But I've done so many interviews this week that I'm not as scared anymore."
"Has any of what you've gone through this summer scared you?" he asked next.
"Oh, definitely," I said with a bit of laughter. This certainly had been a scary and exciting summer. "When I took the stage in Salt Lake City, I was scared to death. It was my first concert, but it was only the second time that I had gotten up on stage to perform for a group."
Todd looked surprised at my answer for a moment. "Only your second time on stage?"
"Yes," I replied. "And the first time was the night that I got discovered. My friends forced me up on stage that night. I wouldn't be here without them."
"So you never really sang for anyone before you became famous?" Todd asked incredulously. He had a bewildered look on his face now.
"No, I didn't," I told him. "I was always scared and ashamed of my voice. I never really thought that I was good enough to sing for others." It wasn't the entire truth, since I had been more embarrassed of my high voice than ashamed, but it got my message across. "Chloe always said that I was being stupid. I guess she was right."
There was some laughter from the crowd.
"Well," Todd said with a bit of humor. "I for one am glad that you got over that."
The crowd laughed again, and I could feel myself start to blush slightly. I still couldn't believe so many people enjoyed my singing. It boggled my mind at how popular I seemed to have become.
Todd was a good host, and we bantered back and forth like that for a while. We even took a short commercial break before talking some more. Finally, he had to wrap up the interview.
"You can find Sarah's first album, 'Intuition', in stores now," Todd said while holding up a copy of my CD for the viewers to see. Then he turned toward me once again. "Sarah, thank you for coming by."
"It was my pleasure," I said, smiling widely.
Todd turned back toward the camera again before talking to the viewers once more. "Stick around, when we come back, I'll be talking with Tommy Sinclair."
Once the recording light had been turned off, Todd turned back to me to shake my hand. We shook hands and then I moved over to the couch that I had been directed to. But the entire time, my mind was reeling. Tommy Sinclair was a fairly new actor, but he had been in a number of really large blockbuster hits the last couple of years. How on earth was I headlining this show when he was on it?
When Tommy was brought out, I stood up and after he shook Todd's hand, he gave me a quick hug which sent a thrill through my body. Tommy was in his early 20's, and he was very cute.
Sitting next to Tommy and listening to Todd talk about his recent accomplishments, my mind continued to boggle at why I was sitting where I was. Tommy had been so successful in his last three movies, yet he was appearing after me on the show! I didn't understand why!
I interacted with the two of them for a bit when they would ask me a question or when I had a comment on his excellent movies. But for the most part I sat back and let them speak together.
When Todd's interview was over and the show had broken for commercial, I stood up to prepare for the next part of the show. Both Tommy and Todd shook my hand before I walked across the stage to the area where my band was waiting for me. I smiled at each of them as I approached, and took my position behind my microphone.
Immediately, I started to feel the rush begin to tingle my bones. It had been about a week since I had performed on stage with Josh, and I was ready to perform again. We didn't have to wait long before the red light indicated the show was recording once again.
Todd introduced us. "Back to sing her latest single, 'You Can't Hurt Me' from her new album, 'Intuition', which is in stores now, please welcome Sarah Carerra!"
The band started playing immediately, and all thoughts of being on the 'Tonight Show' or of my newfound popularity were pushed out of my mind as I began to perform. Nothing else mattered other than giving the fans a good show.
But it was when I found my parents in the audience that my performance really took off. Dad had been here alone the last time I was here. He had been so proud of me. But this time he had Mom with him, and she had tears running down her face as I performed. I worried that I was on the edge of having my own tears form, but I managed to hold them back.
When the song ended, and the shrill screams that I had heard when exiting the limo started to make their way around the studio, I realized that there might actually be something to my popularity after all. The numbers all indicated that I was well liked. The fans everywhere I went seemed to be really excited to see me. But I wasn't sure.
I still didn’t believe they liked me that much.
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I arrived home shortly after noon to find my mom excitedly waiting for me. She had a big smile on her face as she waited for me to change. Once I was out of Sarah's clothes and into one of my own dresses, she dragged me back out to her car, refusing to tell me where we were going or why she was so excited.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.35 - Friends and Family by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: May 9, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.35 - Friends and Family
When Ethan opened the door and got a look at me later that afternoon, he busted out in laughter. I grimaced. I had failed miserably at my plan, and his reaction just proved that point.
"It didn't work," he said unnecessarily while letting me in. "But thanks for making the effort."
"You can't say I didn't try," I said while stepping into the house, garnering another laugh from him. I had tried to dress more masculine to make him feel less awkward. Jeans and a t-shirt were close to what I wore before when hanging out with him and they took some of the glamour away from my new life, but the cut of the clothes left no doubt that I was completely female. I had pulled my hair back into a ponytail like I had worn for the last few years of my life, but now that my hair was better taken care of and had more body, it too betrayed my true gender.
"Come on," he said, still laughing at me. I would take that laughter over what I had gotten from him for the last three weeks, though. It truly seemed like he might be coming out of the shell that he had placed around himself.
Ethan led me further into his house and to his room. We had spent a lot of time in here during our lifetimes, but never had I felt so uncomfortable in the room as I did when I walked in. My face must have registered shock, because Ethan grimaced immediately. It was obvious that he hadn't considered what bringing me into his room would mean.
It was immediately apparent why he had been so distant from me. Prominently displayed on his wall were two of my posters, one of them being the poster he had promised me he would take down when I had first seen them in the mall the day I told him the truth. I wasn't sure what to think.
"I'm sorry," he said immediately. "You know how I feel about this whole situation, but..." he tried to explain but the words wouldn't come.
"I know," I told him. I had been surprised. I never thought that he would still have the posters hanging in his room. But after what he had told me on Tuesday, I shouldn't have been shocked.
"I'll take them down now," he said. I could hear the sadness in his voice though as he started walking toward where they were hanging. Taking them down was the last thing he wanted to do.
"No!" I ordered him. If having the posters up helped in any way, then I was okay with them being there. "It's okay! Would you like me to sign them?"
He lit up at my offer, and I knew that he had wanted to ask me to sign them, but he also didn't want to tell me about the posters. I smiled, and he walked over to his desk and picked up a marker. I took it from him and signed both of the posters.
"Thank you," he said quietly. I nodded back to him.
He turned toward the TV that was in the corner and turned it on to escape the embarrassment that had started to creep in. Boys were so predictable. Just like Paul, Ethan wanted to play video games. It was something that we had often done together, but it didn't appeal to me now as much as it had before this summer had changed my whole life. But like Paul, it was something that Ethan needed. He needed to be able to find the friend he had known most of his life. If that meant suffering through playing video games again, I would do it. This was for Ethan.
I spent the night with him, playing video games, talking, and eating dinner with his family. It was just like all the other days that I had spent over at his house. That familiarity seemed to be enough for him to start to find the connection that we once had. I hadn't realized that I was looking for that connection too, but I was happy to realize that I had also found it.
By the time I left to go home, I was in one of the best moods that I'd been in for weeks. Not even the feeling of performing on the 'Tonight Show' could compare to the happiness that I felt at having Ethan back in my life.
I talked about nothing but boys with Mary the next morning. Between Josh and Ethan, there had been a lot of drama centered on boys in the past week of my life. But as always, she knew exactly what to say to help me understand how to handle the situations. By the time I left her office and headed for the photo shoot I had for the perfume that morning, I was very happy with what had happened during the week.
Josh had ripped my heart out, but I had found a way to patch it back into place. Ethan had ripped my heart out much earlier in the summer, but he had found a way to help me patch it back together too. I knew that boys were going to be a big problem for me in the future. They always are for teenage girls. But for now, I was happy with where I was in my life. I had enough to worry about now without boys being involved.
The photo shoot was much like the rest of the photo shoots that I'd done recently. I was starting to become proficient at them, and it only took a few hours for the photographer and the representative from 'Stardom' to be happy with what they had gotten from me.
I arrived home shortly after noon to find my mom excitedly waiting for me. She had a big smile on her face as she waited for me to change. Once I was out of Sarah's clothes and into one of my own dresses, she dragged me back out to her car, refusing to tell me where we were going or why she was so excited.
When she pulled into a restaurant that we occasionally went to together, I was already smiling! We hadn't been here all summer, let alone spent much time alone together!
Once we had been seated and ordered our food, my mom took my hands in hers and looked me in the eyes. Immediately I felt the love and warmth that she always showed for me flow into my body. We just sat there for a moment staring at each other before she spoke.
"I'm so proud of you, Megan," she said lovingly. "When you first started living as Megan, I was so happy. But yesterday, just like in Salt Lake City, I couldn't believe just how much you've grown up this summer. I love you so much. I'm worried that I'm going to lose you before I ever get to truly know you."
Tears streamed down my face as I replied. "Mom, I'm not going anywhere," I told her. "I just found out who I really am. But I'm not going anywhere. There isn't anywhere I would rather be than here with you. I couldn't do this without you. As much as I love being up on stage, being here with you right now is so much better!"
Her own tears were sliding down her cheeks as she held my hands and we looked into each other's eyes again. I couldn’t describe the feelings that washed over me as we sat there. We were a mess when the waiter brought us our food, but we both started eating. It wasn't much longer afterward that we were laughing about the situation.
"I love you, Mom," I told her over an ice cream sundae that we were sharing after our late lunch.
"I love you too, Megan," she replied with one of the largest smiles on her face that I had ever seen. This summer had taught me over and over what a special person my mom was. I had realized on a number of occasions just how much she meant to me. But I learned over lunch that day just how much I meant to her.
Our mother/daughter day didn't end with lunch. Once we were back in Mom's car, she was driving me somewhere else without telling me where. I sat back and enjoyed the experience. Spending time with Mom meant so much more to me now than it had just three months earlier.
The drive was longer than I expected, as she made her way onto the Pacific Coast Highway and headed toward Malibu. I loved this drive, and I sat there just watching the scenery pass by, the waves lapping against the beach, and watching my mom as she drove.
Eventually we reached our destination, and I gasped when she pulled into the parking lot of the Serenity Day Spa. Mom and Aunt Judy had been talking about coming here together for years. But she was bringing ME instead! My love for my mom threatened to burst out of my chest like the tears that streamed out of my eyes at the realization of what she was giving up with her sister for me.
"Mom, I..." I started to tell her how much it meant to me before she gently interrupted me.
"Shh," she said. "Judy and I did a lot of things together because I didn't have a daughter to do them with. Now I do. I would much rather spend a day at the spa with my daughter than with my sister right now. She has her own girl to fill the gap, and you can fill mine. Okay?"
I just nodded and got out of the car and followed her into the spa, my arm in hers.
I had to assume that she'd had this planned for a while, because I had heard this place was hard to get into. Perhaps she had thrown around Sarah's name or used some of Dad's contacts to get in on short notice. However she had accomplished making the appointment, I found myself getting more and more excited with each step toward the door I took. I'd heard many of the women in my life talk fondly about how much they enjoyed their day at a spa, and I was excited to see if they were telling the truth.
Once we stepped inside the lobby, I was immediately put at ease by the soothing beach-like atmosphere. Light browns and aquas greeted my wandering eyes. The faint smell of seawater or some type of salts wafted through the air. The soft sound of waves hitting the shore caressed my ears. It was heavenly. A young lady in her early twenties with blonde hair and an almost perfect complexion smiled at us as we approached the front desk.
"Linda and Megan?" she asked kindly. Mom smiled and nodded, and I couldn't contain my own smile from spreading across my face. I was excited!
We had to fill out a couple of forms before we were shown to the locker room, but it wasn't long before we had changed into very soft robes that almost felt like they were made from clouds.
"This is amazing," I told Mom while we were led down a hallway. She could only sigh contentedly as we walked, the soft plush carpet indulging our bare feet.
The next 90 minutes were spent oohing and aahing as we were massaged into oblivion. I hadn't had a massage since the day of my concert in Salt Lake City, and that one didn't hold a candle to what Mom treated me to. They must have peeled us off of the massage tables when they were done.
"I don't want to move," I joked with the lady leading us to the next room. All my mom could do was nod in agreement.
The lady snorted at my words, which just caused Mom and me to giggle while we were led into a room where we sat down in some really comfortable chairs. I leaned back and closed my eyes, but instinctively lifted my hand to my side, where it met my mom's. We held on to each other for a short time before they started dabbing stuff on our faces. I'd never had a facial before, so this was a whole new experience. I knew, however, that it wouldn't be the last time!
After the facials, we also got manicures and pedicures before being professionally made up.
"Make her look like Sarah Carerra," Mom told the lady who would be doing my makeup. I laughed out loud, which made the woman look at me funny, but I played along with my mom's wishes. It felt weird having someone other than Stephanie doing my makeup, but the woman was talented.
When she was done, she had me look in the mirror. "What do you think?" she asked. "You don't have blond hair, but otherwise I think you are the spitting image of her."
I chuckled at just how close she was to the truth while examining myself in the mirror. She had done a good job, but I could pick out exactly where she went wrong. I'd done Sarah's make-up myself enough times to know how to get it right. But for not having that knowledge, she definitely made a very passable attempt.
"It's close," I said. That got Mom laughing and the make-up artist frowning.
"That's exactly how she does her makeup," the lady argued with me. I smiled and nodded my agreement, even though I knew it wasn't exact. I was in too good of a mood to argue with someone.
When we reached the locker room once again, I was surprised to find the casual dress I had worn into the spa missing. In its place was a little black dress that had Julia written all over it. Mom had a similar one hanging in her own locker. I turned to my mom and raised my eyebrows in question. She just started laughing again and shook her head. Whatever else she had planned for the evening was going to remain a surprise.
The early evening air was starting to cool slightly when we walked out of the spa decked out to the nines. I couldn't remember the last time that I had seen Mom dressed up so nicely. Mom and Dad often went out on dates, but I don't think she had looked this foxy in a while. I knew part of it was the dress Julia had picked out for her, which did a really good job of emphasizing her figure. The makeup also helped her to look years younger. I thought we looked a lot more like sisters than we did mother and daughter as we climbed into her car.
Mom was humming while she drove us back down to Santa Monica. I liked seeing her happy like this.
"Thank you, Mom," I told her.
"Don't thank me yet," she said with a wry grin. "We're just getting started."
I just shook my head. This afternoon had to be costing the family a small fortune. I knew these dresses weren't inexpensive, and I doubted that they came out of Sarah's pay. The same went for the spa and the lunch we had enjoyed.
"Don't worry, honey," Mom said, reading my mind. "You alone are making our family a lot of money, and that doesn't even include your own share. We deserve this night, and we're going to get what we deserve."
I started shaking my head at her exuberance, which only caused us to dissolve into another fit of giggles.
"Austin's going to be jealous if he finds out how much this cost," I told her.
"Nonsense," she replied. "Austin and your father went to a baseball game this afternoon followed by a movie. They might not have spent as much as we have, but I'm sure they are having just as much fun."
I leaned back into my seat again, still shaking my head. While those two things might have been fun to do, I was very happy that Mom and I were doing the girlier experience. I'd take the spa over a baseball game any day.
We stopped at a small cafe that catered to women for a salad once we made it back into the city. It had been long enough since our lunch that are appetites were returning, but not long enough for a full dinner. After that, Mom drove us to a nearby playhouse.
I loved plays. I had always loved plays. Mom did too. Dad and Austin, however, did not. It was a rare occasion when we got to attend one. But this day was for the two of us, and it was with even more smiles on our faces that we took our seats in the auditorium.
I'd never heard of the play before, but I was glad that it was a comedy. Countless times Mom and I had tears in our eyes laughing at some of the things that the cast said and did. I could tell that they had a love of performing, just like I did. The way they put that extra little effort into their performances told me how true that thought was. I was sure that if I had been sitting closer, I would have been able to see the fire in their eyes. Nobody could perform like that without getting the rush.
It was late when Mom pulled her car into the garage. We were laughing as we recounted some of the play when we walked into the house. Dad and Austin must have thought we had gone crazy when we stepped into the front room where they were playing video games together.
Both of their eyes went wide when they saw us, though. They both looked speechless, and I knew that both Mom and I looked really, really good.
"Wow!" Dad finally spoke first. "Both of my girls look amazing!"
He then stood up from the couch and came over to us, giving each of us a hug. Austin, too, seemed to feel the same way, though he shied away from hugging us.
"What have you two been up to?" Austin asked suspiciously. He likely knew that we had spent a lot more money than he and Dad had.
"Girls night out," I replied matter-of-factly. "Did you want to come? I'm sure that can be arranged. Julia loves dressing up tomboys, and I bet she could find you a beautiful dress."
His eyes bugged out immediately, and I saw that he was deathly afraid of what I was implying. Mom and I busted out laughing again. I felt bad that I had played on his fears like that, but I knew he'd be okay. He shook his head violently and took a step away from us.
"No!" he said vehemently. "Never!"
I started laughing harder at his refusal. Poor Austin! I stepped over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He was shaking slightly when I did.
"I promised you that wouldn't happen, Austin," I reminded him. "I will keep that promise. I was just having a little fun at your expense."
"Well don't do that!" he yelled back, but he wrapped his arms around me too. It was the flash of Mom's camera that startled us apart. I just knew that picture was going to be hanging in the house somewhere within a day.
"Come on, Megan," Mom said, smiling again. "I'll help you get out of that dress."
"Okay," I replied and the two of us started down the hall while Dad and Austin returned to their game. Once we were in my room, Mom unzipped my dress for me and helped me out of it before I unzipped hers. She left for her own room to get ready for bed while I turned to my dresser to get my own night clothes out. I had managed to put on the soft pajama pants and a t-shirt and was putting away the accessories that went with the outfit I had worn that evening when Mom returned.
"Have a seat," she said while indicating the chair in front of my vanity. I smiled at what I knew was coming next and followed her directions. Mom picked up my brush and started running it through my hair. She had done this a couple of times over the years, and I always wished that she would do it more. Now she had no excuse not to brush her daughter's hair.
"Thank you, Mom," I told her while she brushed. I could see the love and affection on her face in the vanity mirror. She looked down at me through the mirror and I knew she could see the same thing on my own face. "I had the best day with you, today."
"It was my pleasure, Megan," she said. Then she stopped brushing my hair long enough to kiss the top of my head. When she resumed brushing a moment later, we both had tears of joy in our eyes once again.
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Scott wanted me to write another song for the concert tour. I had been trying to find the emotions and feelings that were always the beginning of the inspiration for a song. Staring up into my mother's eyes, I found it.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.36 - My Hero by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: May 16, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.36 - My Hero
I woke up on Sunday with a smile on my face. Yesterday had been one of the best days of my life. I'd spent a lot of time with Mom over the years, but never had it been as fun as yesterday afternoon had been. I wished that there was something that I could do to tell Mom just how much she meant to me.
I was sitting in my room alone after church, listening to the countdown. I had hoped that Emily or Ethan would come over, but they had their own commitments today. Mom was in the kitchen making a cake. Dad and Austin had gone somewhere, but I didn't know where.
As I expected, 'You Can't Hurt Me' wasn't listed before the top 5. It wasn't likely it had fallen of the list entirely, so I knew it was only a matter of time until they played it. I hoped that it made it to the top.
There was a soft knock on the open door to Sarah's room while song number five was playing. I looked up to find Mom standing there.
"Can I join you?" she asked hopefully. I smiled and started to lift myself from where I was lying across the couch. She quickly made her way over to the couch and sat in the spot that I had vacated. She surprised me by pulling my head back down into her lap, where she started to stroke my hair. We sat there for a while waiting for the song to be played.
"You knew it was inevitable," the DJ said after the song that had been on top last week was over. "Every song has to fall off the countdown at some point. But there is a sense of irony in the fact that Sarah Carerra has returned to take back the spot CrayZ took from her just three weeks ago by pulling his #1 hit off the top of the charts. With people already assuming that this song is on its way to winning a number of awards, we proudly present this week's top song, Sarah Carerra's "You Can't Hurt Me'."
As the song started playing, I felt surprised at the words that the DJ had spoken. I had not realized that there had only been one song on top since 'Intuition' had fallen. I had always stopped listening after my own songs were played. I couldn't believe that I had managed to grab two number one spots nearly back-to-back!
I sat there, listening to the song with Mom. She continued to stroke my hair, and every time that I looked up at her I could see the love and appreciation that she had shown me all day yesterday shining through once again. As we listened to the song I had written, I started to feel it.
Scott wanted me to write another song for the concert tour. I had been trying to find the emotions and feelings that were always the beginning of the inspiration for a song. Staring up into my mother's eyes, I found it.
I still didn't know exactly what to write about, but I knew it was only a matter of time now. Whenever I felt like this, a song wasn't far behind.
When the song was over, my mom sat there for a few more minutes stroking my hair as I tried to find a tune, some words, anything that would let me know where this song was supposed to go. But eventually she wanted to get back to her cake, and I could see it in her eyes. I smiled up at her and raised myself up so that she could go.
"Would you like to help me get dinner ready?" she asked.
"I can't," I replied. As much as I wanted to help her in that moment, I knew that I had to find the rest of my inspiration. It was just out of reach, and I knew that it was waiting for me to find it. I had to keep looking.
Mom was disappointed, but I knew that she'd be smiling when she heard the song for the first time. I didn’t know exactly what the song was about yet, but I knew she was going to love it.
She left the room, and I sat back down on the couch, trying to figure out what to do next. I could feel the song bumbling around in my head, but it didn't want to come out. I was going to have to find a way to connect with it. A sudden thought gave me an idea.
I walked out of Sarah's room and down to the front room. On the shelf were family photo albums. I knew that I would find what I was looking for inside one of them. But they weren't there. We'd kept the family photo albums on that shelf for years, but they were gone.
I walked to the door of the kitchen where Mom was pulling the cake out of the oven.
"Where are the photo albums?" I asked her.
She looked up at me for a second, and then had to rush the hot pan to the top of the stove before she could reply. Finally, she turned toward me.
"They're in your father's office," she replied. "We moved them in there with everything else when they were cleaning the carpets the other day. Why?"
"No reason," I said. "I just wanted to look at them."
She was looking at me like she knew I was hiding something, but she didn't say anything else before turning back to the oven. I took the opportunity to head for Dad's office. There were a number of boxes stacked behind his desk, and I figured that the photo albums would be hiding there. Walking around the desk, I noticed a folder sitting in the middle that Dad had drawn a frowny face on. Curiosity got a hold of me at that point, and I lifted the cover to peer inside.
What I found changed my mood instantly. Inside were more endorsements, magazine interviews, and other requests for appearances from or information about Sarah Carerra. But these were obviously the ones that Dad had filtered out before giving the rest to me. The happiness that I had felt at discovering the new song within me started to slip with every page I turned. Some of the requests and endorsements literally started to make me feel sick. My stomach started to hurt. My eyes started to feel heavy. My breathing became labored.
"Did you find them?" broke the pit of despair that was forming in my stomach. I looked up at the door to Dad's office to find my mom standing there. She was staring at me like she knew that I was looking at something that she didn't want me to look at. She either knew what I had found, or could sense the tension and hopelessness that I had started to pour into the air around me.
"Um", I said, trying to find a rock to hold onto in my head. My mom smiled, and sunshine started to brighten the dark world I had fallen into. "No," I replied, and closed the folder. I then let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.
"I told your father not to leave that folder lying around the house," Mom said in a disappointed tone. She had a concerned look on her face as she crossed the room to stand next to me. When she wrapped her arms around me, I couldn't hold the tears back anymore and buried my face in her shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to see that."
Sarah Carerra had, for the most part, always been a happy part of my life. But looking at some of the despicable things that those people wanted me to do, or things they thought I'd be willing to endorse, I could only find despair. How could they even ask a 16-year old girl to do some of that stuff?
Mom held me while I let it all out. I knew that there would be people out in the world who would try to take advantage of me. I knew that there were people who would try to bend my self-image to their own desires. But they simply did not have a clue! I had more than one song that talked about how they couldn't control my destiny. And 'You Can't Hurt Me' very specifically told them that I was my own person. I didn't want anything to do with the stuff that was in that folder!
"Why didn't he just shred them or burn them?!" I exasperatedly asked my mom once the tears started to die down. I couldn't understand why that file even existed!
"Your dad said that he was going to write them a strongly worded response," she replied while pulling me closer. "But I agree with you. We should have just burned them."
She held me for a few more moments, while I slowly calmed down. When I stepped back and out of her arms, I had to return the loving smile that she gave me.
"Are you going to be alright?" she asked me.
"Yes," I replied and then turned toward the boxes. I wanted to get the albums and get out of there. Mom pointed to a box sitting on the floor that was labeled 'Photo Albums'. That seemed to be the likely place to start, and I grabbed the box and followed her out of the office. The more space there was between me and that horrid file, the better. She went back into the kitchen while I took the box into the front room and placed it on the coffee table.
Pushing the bad thoughts that had invaded my mind away, I closed my eyes and concentrated on that feeling that I had felt in Sarah's room. I was thankful when it started to build up within me again. I had worried that the episode in Dad's office would have crushed that feeling. But other than the fact I knew the song was about my mom, I still didn't know anything about it yet.
Pulling the cover off the box, I found the photo albums stacked neatly inside. I started to pull them out and go through each of them. I laughed a bit at some of the antics we'd had over the years, but I still couldn't find what I was looking for. It wasn't until I pulled the second to last album out that I found it.
I had never seen this photo album before. It was pink, for one thing. Most of the other albums were a dark burgundy color. Flipping the album over so that I could see the front, I gasped!
I was scared to open the album when I saw the words stitched onto the front panel, which was made of some type of cloth or soft blanket. In fact, it looked a lot like the old baby blanket I had seen in many of the pictures that I had just looked at. Running my fingers over the stitching, I couldn't help but wonder why 'Megan' was embroidered across the front.
With trepidation, I slowly lifted the cover. The first page was a dedication, but it didn't make any sense to me.
"To our loving daughter," it read. "As long as you continue to give us these memories, they'll have a place to call home within this book." Mom and Dad's signatures followed the dedication, followed by a date. But the date is what really threw me off. It was dated at six months after I had been born!
Slowly turning the page once more, my breath stuck in my throat at what I saw. Baby pictures. MY baby pictures. But it wasn't me. It wasn't the same person that I had seen in all of the other albums. It was Megan! Sure, it was the same baby, but she was dressed in pretty newborn clothes that definitely told anyone who saw her what her gender was. Pinks were prevalent all around.
And that smile...That smile was amazing. She looked so happy! None of my other baby pictures had that type of smile.
I turned the page. She was older now, perhaps three months or so. But just as feminine and still smiling. The next page was the same at six months. It continued that way, page after page, until I turned the page once more and found a five-year-old little girl in a pretty dress standing next to Mom at a park.
I nearly dropped the book. With shaky hands I had to place it on the coffee table before I retreated back to the couch, pulling my legs up to my chest and hugging them. This couldn't be happening!
I remembered that day. I remembered it clearly. That was one of the best days of my life! It had just been Mom and me that day. She took me to the park, and then we went to a movie before she took me out to eat. It was the first time I had ever spent the entire day with her alone.
But I didn't remember the dress. I didn't remember the long hair that the girl sported. I didn't remember the way Mom looked at me in those photos. It was the same look I had gotten used to seeing from her since becoming Megan. A look she had never given to me before this summer.
Or so I had thought.
"Mom?" I shakily said. I wasn't even sure if it had been loud enough for her to hear, but I couldn't speak any louder at that moment.
She heard me, though. Soon she was standing at the door to the kitchen. I was still staring at the book, but I knew she was there.
"Yes, honey?" she asked me, not aware of what I had just discovered.
"What is this?" I stammered and vaguely made a motion toward the album. She took a few steps toward me, and then I heard her own intake of breath when she saw what I was looking at. She quickly stepped around the couch and then sat down next to me. Then she did the only thing I didn't want her to do. She grabbed the book and placed it on our lap to where we could see it better. It felt like it was burning my skin where it touched.
"These are some of my favorite memories," she said. I didn't have to look at her to know that she had a large smile on her face. I could hear it in her voice.
"But where did they come from?" I asked. I wanted to push the book off my lap again, but I couldn't move my arms. All I could do was stare at the smile on that little girl.
Mom sensed my distress immediately, and she kissed me on the side of the head before leaning against me for reassurance.
"Honey, Megan has been around since the day you were born," she said. "She didn't come into being after your accident. She didn't come into being this summer. She was there from the beginning."
I started to speak, but Mom gently put her finger against my mouth.
"Don't be mad," she said. "This is what you wanted. I fought it at first. We were in a department store the first time it happened. I was buying you some new clothes, but you kept reaching toward all of the girl's stuff. You were too young to grab anything, but I could see where you were looking and reaching. Then you would cry when I'd move the cart away. On a whim, I bought one set of girl's newborn clothes for you. The day I dressed you up, you smiled like I had never seen you smile before." I looked over at her, and her face was glazed over in the happy memory.
"But..." I started to say. Yet I didn't know what I was going to tell her. I closed my mouth again and looked at the new page that Mom had turned to. I was eight. It was another of the times that I had spent the day with my mom. It was also another of my favorite memories. "How?"
"How what?" she asked, not sure what I wanted to know. "How come you don't remember?"
I nodded. I didn't remember any of this!
"After your accident, you suppressed a lot of this," she said. "You rarely dressed up as Megan when growing up, but it stopped completely after your accident. At least, it stopped until your cousin got you in that dress. Then it started all over again. Every once in a while you would dress up as Megan again, and it got harder and harder for you to take off the clothes again as you grew older. I had a feeling it was only a matter of time before Megan joined us permanently. I guess it makes sense now that we know the truth about who you really are. But back then, I just wanted you to be happy."
I sat there, stunned. This didn't make any sense to me. Someone would have told me about this. "But, Emily and Ethan..."
"They didn't know, Megan," Mom said. "Nobody knew. It was always just you and me. Your father knew, but he didn't want to be involved. We made them mother/daughter days."
I didn't know what to say. As we continued to look through the album, I could only gape at myself in each picture. All of the best memories of spending time with my mother were in that book. I remembered every single one of those days, but I didn't remember being dressed up like that. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
I knew one thing for sure, though. I'd had the best days with my mother.
"That was your mom again," Emily said while hanging up the phone in her room. I knew it was time to go home. After seeing the photo album earlier, I did the only thing I could. I grabbed it and my guitar and made a beeline for the safety of Emily's house. I refused to return home for dinner. I knew Mom would be upset with me for running away like I had. But I couldn't do what I needed to do with her around.
"I guess I better go," I said.
"Just one more time?" Emily pleaded with me. She gave me the ‘puppy dog’ look too, and I had to smile.
"Okay," I told her, laughing at her ability to get me to play again. "But this is the last time. My mom is probably worried that I'm upset about the album. She's probably a basket case right now."
"She is," Emily agreed. Emily had just finished talking to her, so I now knew I was going to be in trouble when I returned home. But first things first.
I strummed my guitar once more before launching into the song again. Since the moment I had walked into Emily's room I had spent all of my time working on it, save for a short break for dinner with her family. Emily had sat patiently by for hours, doing nothing but listening as I pulled the tune out of my head followed by the words that told my mom just how great the days I had spent with her had been.
I knew Mom was worried about me after what had happened this afternoon, but she didn't need to be. I had been shocked to discover the album, and the photos within. But it didn't take me long to realize that the reason they had been the best days of my life was because they were the only days while growing up that I had spent as my true self. My mom had given me a gift that I could never truly repay her for.
It still felt slightly weird to try and correlate my memories with the pictures in the album, but there was no doubt in my mind that they had happened. I knew that I was going to have to have a long talk with Mary about this next Saturday, but until then there was only one thing I needed to do.
I finished playing the song for Emily. This would be one of the last times I would have a chance to play it until I could find some secret time to finish it with the band. Mom's birthday was in two weeks, on the day before my first concert. I knew it was the perfect gift to give her on that day. But that meant keeping it a secret from both of my parents, because Dad was so bad at keeping presents a secret. I had to tell him that I had a new song for the tour like Scott wanted, but I could refuse to let him hear it.
Emily sighed and leaned her head back against the headboard of her bed. I smiled at her reaction. If she liked this song that much, I could only wonder what it would do to my mom. I had awakened this morning wanting to do something special for her. Now I had given her the ultimate present I knew how to give.
As I placed my guitar back into its case, I smiled at what this song was truly about. It wasn't just about my mom. No, it was about 'My Hero'.
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I took a seat next to Holly and the rest of the band, who were looking at the proceedings with the same confused look that was plastered on my face. None of us really understood what was going on.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.37 - All Aboard the Crazy Train by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: May 23, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.37 - All Aboard the Crazy Train
Convincing my mom that I wasn't upset about the photo album had been a hard thing to do. But eventually she seemed to accept that I had come to terms with what that album meant to my life. When she tucked me into bed that evening, something she hadn't done for ages, I knew just how much she loved me and had been worried about me.
The next day, I was still holding onto that feeling, as I stared at all the people around the table. I didn't know who half of the people in the room were, yet they were all talking and clamoring and trying to figure out what to do next. Where was Scott? I really wished he would show up and take control. Only the calm peaceful feeling of the previous night kept me from going insane.
Dad and I had just arrived at the studio for the 'Concert Kickoff Meeting', but when we walked into the same room that we had used to decide on the songs last week, I found these people yelling at each other as they tried to figure out everything that was involved in putting on a concert.
I took a seat next to Holly and the rest of the band, who were looking at the proceedings with the same confused look that was plastered on my face. None of us really understood what was going on. Rosemary, the events coordinator, seemed to be running the meeting. She was discussing each of the venues and what we could expect on the technical side. All of it was going directly over my head, and I wondered why I was being included in this meeting. All I needed to do was show up and sing. I didn't care how big the stage was or where the sound connections were located.
It quickly became apparent that this was not the meeting I had been invited to. Scott had been delayed for some reason, and Rosemary had taken it upon herself to conduct her first staff meeting to fill the time. She had stopped the meeting only long enough for her to introduce me to the many people I didn't know before she returned to the chaos. Unfortunately, there were too many names for me to remember. I made Dad promise to get me a book or something with each of their names and pictures so that I could learn who they were before the tour. I wanted to be able to call each of them by their names when I saw them at the venues.
The band and I suffered through the staff meeting for most of the morning. At first I tried to start up my own meeting with them and talk about the new song I had written. I couldn’t tell them what it was about since Dad was sitting next to me, but Rosemary was not happy with me. She wouldn't tell me to stop, since keeping me happy was one of her main priorities, but I knew she felt I was disrupting everyone else. Instead, I asked the band to move to the other side of the room with me, where we could quietly talk about it in more detail. Dad stayed with the others at Rosemary's meeting, so I was even able to describe what it was about.
Sophie and Holly loved my idea of giving Mom the song for her birthday. The guys thought it was cool too, but they didn't understand completely why it would be perfect. Boys. We set up a time to meet next Sunday to finish the song, since that was the only free day we had in the next two weeks. Kate would probably want to choreograph it, but I didn't want this song to have much. This was one of the few songs where I would get to play the guitar, so I figured that I'd be standing or sitting at the microphone as I played and sang. Kate wouldn't be happy about it, but she knew that I had been asked to write another song.
Rosemary then pulled us back into her meeting, since she thought the things she was discussing with the others had an impact on us. Unfortunately, they didn't. I quickly became bored while I wondered once again where Scott was. I had a feeling that we were going to be here late now.
It was with a great relief that a catered lunch was brought in. Discussion turned away from the staff meeting and more toward small talk. I tried to get to know the people around the table as well as I could, because these were the people who would make my time on stage shine.
Scott finally showed up just before Rosemary was about to start up again. He had a young woman with him who looked slightly out of place, but who also had an excited and awestruck quality about her.
"Sarah, can I have a moment of your time?" he asked. I nodded and stood up, and Dad followed me. I'd do anything to get out of this meeting! I saw the longing in the eyes of the band members, and I knew that they hoped that I would take them with me. I tried to give them a reassuring smile before stepping toward the door and Scott.
Scott directed me back out into the hallway and we walked down the hall. The young woman and Dad followed behind us while we talked.
"Busy morning?" he asked with a smirk on his face.
"More like boring," I replied, which got him laughing. I couldn't contain a laugh myself.
"I'm sorry about that. I had something come up last minute that I needed to take care of," he said as he pointed to one of the doors that we were approaching. We shifted our direction toward the door.
"I wrote another song," I told him as we entered the room. I looked back as he entered behind me and watched his smile grow larger. I knew that news would make him happy.
"That's great!" he exclaimed while motioning back to the room. "I knew you could do it!"
I smiled myself while looking around. It was a small green room with a couple of couches around a small coffee table. Scott directed me to sit in one and I complied. Dad sat down next to me and Scott and the woman sat down on one across from us.
I took another look at the girl. She looked rather familiar, but I couldn't place where I had seen her before. She appeared to be in her early twenties. She was quite pretty with long blonde hair that cascaded down her shoulders in waves and piercing icy blue eyes that had a kindness in them that I fell into immediately. She was dressed in a conservative business suit that looked too formal on her. But best of all, she was wearing a large smile that showed the same excitement I had first seen when she had walked into the other room with Scott.
"Sarah, I'd like you to meet Amy Martin," he said while gesturing to the young woman beside him.
"It's nice to meet you, Amy," I greeted her while trying to return the excited smile that she was giving me. I didn't believe it was possible, but her smile grew even wider.
"Oh, we've met before," Amy replied, but extended her hand anyway. I reached over the table and shook it.
"Amy is one of my most trusted employees," Dad replied. It was at that moment that I recognized her. I had seen her at Dad's office every once in a while and I had been introduced to her a couple of weeks ago when I had been in Dad's office as Sarah. "I have asked her to be your personal assistant. She has agreed to take on the job, assuming that it is okay with you."
"Oh," I said, surprised. I didn't know that I needed a personal assistant. Dad was always there to fill that role.
Dad noticed my look immediately. "I can't do this alone, Sarah," he explained. "I've been doing a lot of what she will do for you, but I have other clients whom I need to work with too. I will still be there for you, but Amy will handle most of the details."
"Okay," I said, not sure what that really meant. I turned back to Amy. If I was going to say yes to her, I'd need to know her better. "Tell me a bit about yourself."
Her smile had faltered a bit when I didn't say yes immediately, but it grew again when I didn't outright reject her as a candidate either.
"I've been working for your father for two years as an intern," she said. Her statement also clued me into the fact that she already knew my secret. If Dad had already told her, then I knew he felt certain I would agree to allow her to be my personal assistant. "I just graduated from UCLA with a Bachelor's degree in business administration. I'm single and I'm a very big fan of your music."
I smiled. I didn't really care about her school qualifications, even though they were nice to hear. But the friendliness, and the way she seemed to know exactly what to say to me was definitely something that scored points in my mind. We continued to get to know each other for a few more minutes, but it didn't take me very long to make my decision. She had already been approved by my dad, and Scott had met with her over lunch and approved of her too. There was only one person left.
I reached my own hand out to her across the table. She took it excitedly.
"Welcome aboard, Amy," I said while giving her a bright smile. Her own face lit up immediately and she shrieked excitedly before calming down. I knew that she was going to be fun to work with.
The rest of the day was better. Being in a meeting until dinnertime wasn't what I really wanted to do, but at least the information that we covered was relevant to me this time. We talked about schedules, expectations, and the desires that everyone wanted to get out of the concert tour.
I had managed to win the battle to get time to sightsee in each city, but I still had to make my appearances and interviews for each city too. I knew that was part of the deal, so I agreed to that.
School was going to be tricky until the concert tour was over, because I would have to miss some to make my tour dates. However, it wouldn't be too much, although anything that got me out of school was a bonus in my book.
Before we left for the day, Dad started to talk to Scott while I went to the restroom. When I returned, they seemed to be arguing. I stood back to prevent them from seeing me. I had never seen the two of them disagree on anything before, and I was curious what it was.
"We never should have set up the concert tour before releasing her album!" Dad argued.
"I agree, Don," Scott said. There had to be more to it if they were arguing, though. "But we've already committed to the tour and she's nearly sold out every venue. It's too late to change it now."
I stood there, stunned at Scott's words for a moment! Most of the shows were already sold out?
"But she could be filling places like the Staples Center, and we have her performing in places that only hold 6,000 fans or less," Dad said. "We only have one venue on the tour that even comes close to holding the number of people she should be performing for."
"And it isn't sold out," Scott pointed out.
"That's because it's out in the middle of nowhere," Dad replied angrily. "If it was in a major city and not in the wilds of Washington, it wouldn't be a problem."
Scott sighed, and I knew that Dad was preaching to the choir. Scott completely agreed with what Dad was telling him.
"There's no way we could have predicted her popularity," Scott finally said. "I mean, I've never had somebody take off like she has before. If we would have known how the fans would react, we could have done things differently. But now we are stuck with the schedule."
"I don't like it," my dad replied. He looked kind of angry. It was his ‘angry agent’ face, so I knew he was frustrated about the business side of this instead of being mad at anyone in particular.
"I know, Don. I don't like it either," Scott replied. "That's why we are looking at the mini-tour at the beginning of the year. We can give her the audience she deserves then."
Scott caught sight of me then and motioned to my dad to let him know I was there. Dad turned and smiled at me, but it was obvious he was still upset.
I was just happy to be performing a tour. I didn't care how many people were there. I knew that Dad was proud of me, and I knew he only wanted to give me the best. I already knew that the budget far exceeded what would normally go into a tour of this size. I tried to explain all of this to him on the way home, but he wasn't listening to me. He'd sometimes get that way about his work, and this was the first time it had involved me. I knew that he'd be more rational in the morning. But the rest of the car ride home was pretty quiet.
The following morning was the beginning of a much better day. Instead of meeting in the room at the record company like the day before, we met in Kate Abernathy's dance studio for choreography work. Learning and perfecting the choreography was the most important thing we had to do before the concert tour began. It would take up the majority of the two weeks we had left before we made our way up to Paso Robles for the debut concert.
"Try again!" Kate screamed at one of the dancers who was going to join me on stage. The poor girl looked scared to death at the way that Kate was yelling at her, but it seemed to have the effect she wanted because each time Kate yelled at her, the girl improved greatly.
I lined up for another attempt. Many of the songs that I would be singing would involve only the band and me onstage, but there were a few songs where additional dancers would accompany us. Kate had decided that we would learn those songs first.
"That was much better," Kate said once we had finished the attempt. "Take five minutes."
I sighed in relief and walked over to the bench where my water bottle was. Uncapping it, I took a long drink and then I sat down. I didn't realize that the choreography would be so intense. When Kate had worked with me before my first concert the choreography had been minimal compared to what she was throwing at us now.
"I'm sorry," I heard someone say nervously from nearby. I looked up to see the girl whom Kate had been yelling at standing nearby. The look on her face told me that she felt she was letting everyone down. I tried to give her a confident smile, and then patted the bench next to me.
"Don't worry about it, Kerri," I said while she walked over and sat down next to me. I noticed a small smile creep across her face when I called her by name, but it quickly disappeared.
"But I don't want to..." she started to say before I interrupted her by holding up my hand. She quietly trailed off before she could finish her sentence.
"You're doing great," I told her. She opened her mouth again to argue, but I smiled and continued before she could. "You’ve improved with every attempt. Kate is just picking on you because you are setting a good example for everyone else."
I saw confusion cross her eyes for a moment while I took another sip of my water. The slight shake of her head told me that she didn't believe me. I continued to talk to her during the short break, trying to instill some confidence into her. She truly was one of the more gifted dancers in the room, and I had told her the truth. I knew that Kate was yelling at her to keep the rest of the group in line. It seemed to be working.
"Alright, Sarah," Kate said to indicate that the break was over. "You're getting it down pretty well. I want you to start singing during each attempt now. Can you do that for me?"
"Yes," I replied. But now I felt nervous. Kate had told me a number of times by this point just how natural I was as a dancer, but I still wasn't sure I believed her. Trying to combine the sometimes complex choreography with singing was something that I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do easily.
We lined up once more, and when the music started I fell into the moves that were starting to become second nature now. When it came time to sing, I launched into the song, and stumbled immediately. If it hadn't been for a quick sidestep, I would have toppled to the ground.
"Whoa," I said while catching myself. This was going to take some getting used to! I normally only had my music to concentrate on. Now I had more things to worry about while up on the stage.
"That's okay, Sarah," Kate said with a smile. Her reaction was so different than how she treated the dancers, and I wondered if she was giving me more leeway. "I know it can be hard at first, but that is just because you are trying to concentrate on both singing and dancing. Once you've had some practice, both will be second nature to you."
I nodded and took my place for another attempt. This one was better, and I was able to sing while dancing, but it didn't take me long to realize what the new problem was.
I was gasping for breath by the time the song was over, and I knew it hadn't sounded very good. The last thing I wanted to do was get up on that stage and sound raspy because I was exerting too much energy dancing.
I bent over with my hands on my knees, trying to get more oxygen into my lungs. I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to do this.
"And you thought you were in good shape, huh?" Kate half-said, half-laughed next to me. It made me laugh too, which didn't help my lack of oxygen at all. "Don't worry, by the end of next week we'll have you belting out the lyrics and dancing at the same time. Just you wait."
I sighed while standing up straight. I wasn't looking forward to choreography anymore.
That was how the rest of my week went. I would get up and get ready for the day, drive down to Kate's studio, dance all day, and then come home and collapse into bed. Then I'd have to do the same thing the next day.
But it became easier. Each day I was able to sing more and more of each song in key and in tune, while I danced the way that Kate wanted me to dance. Each time I'd be gasping less and less after each song. It was a lot of hard work, but it was starting to pay off. I began to realize that a recording artist had to be in great shape to perform a concert. Then again, not every recording artist employed the type of choreography that Kate was having me learn. She kept telling me that I was a natural dancer, and she seemed to be using that talent to its potential.
By the end of each day I yearned for the chance to practice the slow songs or the ones that involved me and my guitar. They would give me the chance to rest between the high octane songs that got Kate revved up each morning. But I didn't get to practice them much, since their choreography was fairly limited. I knew that I was going to sleep well each night after performing. I'd be too exhausted to stay up and enjoy the rush all night like I had in Salt Lake City. Kate was making sure of that.
When I went to bed Friday night, I was thankful for the fact that I had an appointment with Mary in the morning. Not only would I get the chance to talk to her about the photo album that I had found on Sunday, but the appointment gave me the excuse I needed to take half a day off from learning the choreography.
After four straight days of long hours in Kate's studio, I wasn't sure that I would EVER be able to forget the choreography that she had come up with. It was ingrained into my soul now. All of the dancers, plus Sophie, Holly, and I had done an excellent job learning the choreography. I knew that we were almost ready for the first concert. Saturday afternoon would mean one last run through of each song at Kate's studio before we took the stage on Monday to practice dress rehearsals.
This next week would allow us to learn our positioning while on a stage, and also it would give us the chance to learn how to take off and put on each outfit backstage. There were a total of 12 dancers and 4 backup dancers who would be appearing on stage with me; two groups that would alternate between songs to help give the other group the chance they needed to change. I envied them for the amount of time they would have, because I would have less than a minute to change my own clothes, but they also had a lot more wardrobe changes to contend with than I did.
I was the only person who had to learn choreography for each song. Granted, my choreography wasn't as complex as the dancers’, because I was singing and had a microphone in my hand, but I still felt that I was taking on the brunt of the work. Yet my name was also the only one listed on the headline. People were coming to see ME, and they expected a good show. Kate was only giving me the tools I needed to give a good show to my fans.
And despite how tired I was as I laid there waiting for sleep to claim me, I knew one thing for sure: I was having fun. I couldn't deny that one fact. When I had first signed the contract that brought Sarah Carerra's career into being, I had no idea it would be this much work. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
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While I was fast-forwarding through the second commercial break, something caught my eye. It looked like me! I immediately hit play again and the image on the screen solidified into a picture of Sarah! Seconds later I heard my voice come from the speakers!
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.38 - Hey! You're On TV! by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: May 30, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.38 - Hey! You're On TV!
I got to sleep in later than I had all week on Saturday, but not by much. I still had a busy day scheduled, and it started with a trip to see Mary. After I dressed and ate some breakfast, I successfully smuggled the photo album with my name on it out of the house again and headed for her office.
After she greeted me, Mary eyed the pink book curiously while I walked into her office, but I didn't let her see the front of the album. After I sat I looked down at the album on my lap for a moment before I looked back at her. She was watching me carefully, waiting for me to begin. She knew I had something important to say.
"Did you know about this?" I asked her and held the book up so that she could see what was written on the front. A look of concentration passed across her face as she tried to recall if she had ever seen the book before. Eventually she shook her head.
"No," she replied. "What is it?"
"This," I said while opening the cover and turning to the first page of photos so that she could see them. "Is a photo album of Megan from when I was a baby until now."
Mary became wide eyed, telling me that this was something she had not been aware of. Mom had implied that only Dad and she knew about the days pictured in the album, but I had thought that Mom might have shared that information with my therapist. Apparently I was wrong.
I handed the album to Mary to allow her to look at it more closely. She started turning through the pages while I spoke.
"I found this last Sunday," I told her. "I was looking for inspiration for a new song about my mom, and came across it. Apparently I've been dressing up as Megan for my whole life, not just since the accident."
"This is more than just dressing up," Mary said while turning the page again. "I mean, you have longer hair than what you would find on most boys in all of these pictures. This had to be at least a partial decision on your part to be feminized enough to allow for something like this."
I sighed. Had I been completely blind to what had been happening in my life?
"I've always had long hair," I told her. It was the truth too. "I always liked it that way while growing up. But I don't remember it ever being styled like these pictures. But it makes sense that I liked longer hair if it meant being able to have days like this with my mom.”
Mary continued to look through the pictures for a moment before handing the album back to me. Then I saw her concerned face.
"How does this make you feel?" she asked.
I sighed. "I was really surprised when I found it," I told her. "But most of those pictures happened on the best days of my life that I can remember while growing up. I think they are my best memories because I was dressed as Megan, even if I don't remember being dressed up. But I'm really okay with it. I wrote an amazing song about my mom and these memories."
I stopped talking for a moment and pondered what this meant. That's when it really hit me.
"I..." I started. I stopped speaking to make sure this is what I felt. I looked away as I thought about this, but my whole body was screaming back that this was the right answer! "I guess I've always been a girl…” Then I looked back at Mary.
The smile that Mary returned let me know that she too believed those words.
After returning home from Mary's office, I had a few hours to relax before I had to head down to Kate's studio for the last time. I wasn't expected there until after lunch, so I wanted to relax before I jumped back into the preparations for the tour. I sat down in front of the TV to watch one of the shows that had been recorded earlier in the week that I hadn't had a chance to watch yet.
While I was fast-forwarding through the second commercial break, something caught my eye. It looked like me! I immediately hit play again and the image on the screen solidified into a picture of Sarah! Seconds later I heard my voice come from the speakers!
"Mom!" I screamed in excitement while quickly hitting rewind to get back to the beginning. "My makeup commercial is on TV!"
I knew that she had been using the computer in Dad's office, so she arrived here within seconds. Dad was right behind her. Both of them had excited looks in their eyes too. Mom came and sat down next to me and Dad took his usual place in his favorite chair. Once they were settled in, and with a large smile on my face, I hit ‘play’.
The screen immediately burst into a star field, and I saw myself dance onto the screen to some upbeat music for a moment before the camera cut to close ups of my face to highlight my eyes.
"Want to know my secret to a dark, dramatic eye?" I heard myself say, even though the girl on screen wasn't talking. She continued to move around fluidly with the camera switching between a close up of her face and eyes to full body shots. The white dress looked beautiful against the backdrop of the stars, and I watched, mesmerized, as the commercial continued.
"Try the new Night Sky collection from Starlight and create a look that will catch the attention of all the stargazers," I continued to say. I couldn't believe that I was in a commercial!
"The Night Sky collection comes with everything you need for that smoky eye that can garner the attention you deserve up on stage or out and about on the town."
I looked so beautiful and graceful as I moved. I hadn’t believed Kate when she kept telling me how natural I was as a dancer, but the way I floated around the screen seemed to belie my own perception of my abilities. As I watched, I had the overwhelming desire to go out and buy more eye shadow - even though I already had a ton of it down the hall in both Sarah's room and my own.
Then, I watched as the girl on the screen turned and looked toward the camera before it cut to another view of her flawless face. I saw the smile on her lips brighten her entire face for a moment before she spoke again.
"Give yourself the attention you deserve," she said while somehow keeping the smile from leaving her lips. "And shine with the power of Starlight."
As her mouth closed after speaking the last word her smile turned into a playful grin that shot a feeling of desire through my entire body before fading to a picture of the eye shadow for a few moments as the music came to a close. Then the screen went black.
"Whoa!" I took a deep breath. I had never seen a commercial that made me feel that way before, but I felt really giddy and happy and...and purchasey! That was awesome!
I immediately hit rewind as Mom wrapped her arms around me once again.
When I walked into Kate's studio after lunch, I immediately felt exhausted. Just thinking about how much work it was taking to put on this concert tour was enough to make me feel tired. As I looked around the room, it seemed like I wasn't the only one that felt that way. Yet we were only half way through learning the choreography. Next week we would take the information that we had learned here and put it to use on a stage.
The band had received a week off while the rest of us learned the choreography in Kate's studio. Today they were there watching us as we got to work going through each song once again. They would be joining us on Monday morning to provide the music instead of the sound system that we were using in Kate's studio, and they looked excited to see what we would be doing.
The dancers and I hadn't been performing for anybody as we danced around the studio throughout the week, but I put my best effort into performing for my band. The three guys certainly seemed to enjoy the show. I knew I still had a lot of room to improve, since it was still hard to get enough breath to sing each song while dancing, but I already felt much better while performing than I had that first day when I was gasping after each song. Exercising all day every day seemed to have made a difference, and I knew by the time we finished practicing next week that I would likely be able to get through the concert without feeling overexerted.
Dad, Scott, and Amy showed up toward the end of our session, and even they watched excitedly as we finished going through each of the songs and cleaning up any little flaws that Kate was still seeing.
"Good job, everyone," Kate finally told us. Her smile told me just how happy she was at our progress. "I'll see all of you on Monday. Bring your A game."
There were a few groans and sighs as people started to pack up their things. I turned and picked up my water bottle to help wet my throat. Not only was I sweating a bit from all of the exertion and the fact that we had so many people packed into a room this size, but I had also been singing most of the day. My throat felt a little sore, but it had held out well over the last week. I had been worried that I'd make myself hoarse, but that didn't occur. Next week wouldn't be as intense either.
"Can I have your attention please," Scott yelled above the noise that had risen in the room. Everyone quieted down immediately and I turned back to where he was now standing. He had a very familiar looking box in his hands that made my eyebrows rise in astonishment. "Sarah, can you come over here?"
He looked really excited as I walked over to him. If the box contained what I thought it did, then I knew why! I knew I had a similar expression on my own face!
"Yesterday marked an amazing event in the life of this young woman," he said while opening the box. Then he pulled out the black frame similar to the one I had seen a week and a half ago. He held it up for everyone to see the award, which had a platinum-plated copy of my CD on the left, a picture of the album on the right, and the plaque below both. I already knew what the words would say, since I'd read the ones on the Gold award last week, but Scott turned the award toward himself so that he could read the words to all the people in the room.
"Presented to Sarah Carerra," Scott read the inscription on the plaque. "To commemorate the sale of more than 1,000,000 copies of the Olympic Records album 'Intuition'."
He turned the award back around and handed it to me while those in the room started clapping and cheering. I blushed at the attention that I was getting from those whom I worked closest with in Sarah's life. I looked around the room. The dancers I had spent the week working with had been amazing. My new personal assistant Amy was quickly becoming a good friend. Scott had been wonderful in helping me to get to where I was today. Sophie, Holly, and the band were the best people I could have ever asked to be up on stage with. And finally, my eyes landed on Dad. I knew I had tears of joy running down my cheeks when my eyes connected with him. I couldn't comprehend where I would be without someone as wonderful as him watching over me all of my life.
"Thank you all," I said before I choked up, which caused some light-hearted chuckling around the room. "But this wouldn't have been possible without you. Let's make this concert tour something to remember."
The cheering that followed was much louder than when Scott had presented me the award, and I knew that it wasn't going to take long for my words to become reality.
I had seen a lot of exciting things over the summer. I'd performed a concert, I'd been on talk shows and been interviewed on the radio and in magazines. I'd recorded a platinum-selling album and I'd been preparing for a concert tour for a week now. I had even had two songs top the charts at #1 for multiple weeks, since 'You Can't Hurt Me' had been named number one again during the countdown on Sunday.
But none of those things could compare to the excitement I felt as I rang the doorbell to the band's bachelor pad Sunday afternoon. I was excited to finish the song I had written for Mom! I was excited for a chance to share the feelings that the song invoked with others. But most importantly, I was excited to see the look on my mom's face when I sang it for her the first time.
I wouldn't get to see that look on Mom's face for another week, but I could at least share it with my band. The band had agreed to help me put the other instruments we had at our disposal into the song, and we still needed to practice it enough to be able to perform it during the rehearsals that would start tomorrow.
The door opened, and I found Holly standing there with Stacy. They looked a little flushed, and I felt my own surprise wash over me as I noticed how they were looking at each other briefly before they turned toward me.
"Hi, Sarah," Holly said. She looked guilty when she saw my face, which still registered my surprise.
"Hi," I was finally able to respond. "How long have you two..."
I trailed off. But it didn't take long for Holly to complete my sentence.
"Been dating?" she finished. I nodded. "Not long," she continued. "Stacy asked me out a couple of weeks ago. I thought it would be fun to get to know him better, but I never expected this."
I smiled back at them as they turned to look at each other lovingly. "Well, invite me to the wedding, at least."
They promptly laughed, and then stepped back to let me into the house. I chuckled at their enthusiasm for each other as I passed by and Stacy closed the door behind us. I was still shaking my head after walking down the hall and into their studio where I put my guitar case down on the table. Jason, Connor and Sophie were already waiting for me.
"Hi, guys," I said while opening the case and pulling out my guitar before finding a seat.
Everyone turned to pay attention to me since we only had a limited amount of time to get this song done. It was 3:00 PM now, but Connor was going over to his parents' house for a family gathering later this evening, which didn't leave much time for us to finish the song and practice it enough to incorporate it into tomorrow's rehearsal before he had to leave.
"What have you got for us today?" Jason asked me.
I smiled back at him. "Today I have a birthday present for someone very special to me," I explained. I strummed the guitar lightly for a moment while trying to figure out how to introduce the song to them. "I think it describes itself pretty well," I finally told them.
Without any preamble I started the soft, loving melody that had poured out of my head the week before. As I sang 'My Hero' for them, I watched their faces, trying to figure out at what point they knew who my song was for. They had all met Mom before, but even if they hadn't it became apparent quickly. My mom meant so much to me, and this song did a really good job of letting other people know just how important she was in my life. I couldn't wait to let her hear it for the first time.
This song wasn't likely to win any awards. It wasn't likely to be chosen as a single. But it held a special place in my heart. This had quickly become one of my favorite songs as it was tied up in so many wonderful emotions in my life. The looks that the band and the girls gave me after I had strummed the guitar for the last time proved that I had captured those emotions in the song.
They stared at me with wide eyes for a moment; silence permeated the room.
"Wow," Holly said quietly. Affirmations of that sentiment followed from the others.
"That is one heck of a birthday present," Sophie said. "You’re going to make your mom cry."
I laughed. I hadn't thought about that, but she was right.
"When is her birthday?" Jason asked me.
"Friday," I replied. "I was hoping that you guys would be willing to help me perform it for her for the first time after our rehearsal."
"Of course," Jason replied immediately.
"We would be honored," Sophie piped up. She had one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen on her face. "But you have to come and sing it for my mom next."
I burst out in laughter. I had written this song for my mom, but I hadn't considered what other people would think when they heard it. I could see how other people could use the song for their own mothers. I hadn't ever met any of the band's families. I knew most of their families lived in the area, so that might be something that would be fun to set up.
"That's not a bad idea," I told them, prompting strange looks from them. "I mean, would your families be interested in a small party? I'd love to meet them and we still haven't had a release celebration party. How about we put something together?"
"That sounds interesting," Jason said. "My sister would love to meet you, I'm sure."
"I'm not sure that you'd want to meet my brothers," Stacy said. Jason and Connor roared with laughter at his words, which had the effect of making me want to meet them to understand what they were laughing about.
"It sounds like a plan then," I told them. "I'll talk to Amy and she can try to set something up."
I looked around the room once again. Each of the others had a look of appreciation on their faces now that I was willing to do something like this. But the truth was I wouldn't be where I was today without them. This was the least I could do to help repay what they had given to me.
"Let's get to work," Jason said and reached for his own guitar. "The song won't finish itself."
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We were driving up a fairly busy street when I first got a glimpse of it. I noticed a small group of people congregating around a chain-link fence; they were pointing in at a parking lot while taking pictures. A moment later it came into view. Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.39 - Riding in Style by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: June 6, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.39 - Riding in Style
The next three days were similar to what I had gone through the week before. Somebody had set up a fake stage in a large building not too far from home, and that provided us with a chance to run through the dress rehearsals.
Learning to change my clothes in under a minute was not a fun thing to learn. I ended up in some awkward positions as people attempted to get me out of one outfit and into another, so that I could quickly return to the stage. At least the dancers had an entire song to complete their wardrobe changes before cycling back onto stage to perform. But by Tuesday afternoon I seemed to have it down pat. I still felt uncomfortable with people seeing me in my underwear as they helped me change, but it occurred in a small private area where only the women helping me could see anything.
But the biggest difference between the dress rehearsals and work we had done in Kate's studio had to be the large video screen that sat at the back of the stage, towering high above all of us. A number of people had put in a lot of work over the last week to create a visual presentation to offset the work Kate had done. I never got to see it while we were performing, but the glimpses left me impressed. I hoped that at least one concert was recorded so that I could see the whole effect.
Monday and Tuesday consisted of a dress rehearsal before lunch and a second one after lunch. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday all had a single dress rehearsal in the morning so that I could attend to the other matters that I still needed to take care of before the first concert. Julia had me at her disposal Wednesday afternoon for wardrobe fittings. I had something else happening Thursday afternoon, but Dad and Amy were both tight-lipped about what it was. Their excitement told me that I would like it, however. Friday we would get a break to recuperate before the concert, and it was also the time that we would be celebrating Mom's birthday. Some of the family were coming over to our house on Sunday for another party, but Friday afternoon would be all about Mom. Then on Saturday we had to wake up early enough to make the nearly four hour drive up to Paso Robles for the concert.
It was going to be a busy and exciting week.
"Excellent job!" Kate called out as we finished singing 'You Can't Hurt Me' Wednesday morning. That song was being used as my encore, so it signaled the end of dress rehearsals for the day. We had two more days to practice, but it already looked like we were ready.
I walked over to my water bottle to wet my throat, but I knew that I didn't have much time to get some lunch before I needed to be at Julia's office.
I quickly changed out of one of the fake stage outfits Julia had provided for me to use for the dress rehearsal and into some street-worthy clothes before Amy and I headed to my car. It wasn't long before I had pulled into a small cafe that I enjoyed eating at. I was happy to get off my feet and collapse into one of the window booths that had a nice view of the park across the street. Amy took the seat opposite me.
"I've set up the party for August 7th," she told me while we were waiting for our orders to be taken. She was referring to the party that I wanted to set up with the band's families. "That will give you plenty of time to have fun before they leave for the cross-country portion of the tour."
"Okay," I said. It would be a nice way for them to spend some time with their families before they spent a good deal of time on the road. Dad had already told me that we would be flying to most of the concerts, but we would be travelling by bus for much of the two weeks that we were away from home before school began. It sounded like it could be a fun adventure.
The waiter showed up and took our orders, and then I signed some autographs and interacted with a few fans who were in the cafe while we waited for our food.
"Thanks for hiring me," Amy said after the waiter had brought us our food. "I was afraid that you would say no, and I didn't want to look for another job."
That statement surprised me! "You would have had to find another job if I didn't hire you?" I asked incredulously. That didn't sound like the way my Dad's company worked.
"Well, not right away," she said. "Your dad told me that I would be able to stay on with the company, but I don't know how long that would have lasted."
I smiled at her. "Amy, knowing how efficient and easy you are to work with now, I have no doubt that my dad would have done everything in his power to keep you with his company. You're amazing."
She blushed, and tried to hide it by taking a bite of her food. I smirked at her reaction. I knew what it was like to not feel confident in my own abilities. This summer had certainly opened my eyes, and I was excited to try and get Amy to open hers. In the two weeks she had been working as my personal assistant, I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have someone working for me who was not only very good at her job, but also fun to be around. Dad had certainly done a good job in selecting her. I couldn't imagine working with anyone else.
I continued to try to help boost her confidence in her ability to do the job while we ate. I did the same thing on our drive over to Julia's office. She still didn't fully believe me by the time we entered the front doors of the building and boarded the elevator for the trip up to the right floor. It would take her time to learn how good she was, but I would make sure that she did.
When we stepped off the elevator and into the plush waiting area of Aphrodite Image Consulting, I couldn't help but smirk at the look I received from the receptionist. When I was here with Dad the first time, the receptionist had given me a look that told me she didn't think I was worthy of their business. But now she was giving me a look of respect. I had a feeling that I was probably one of their top customers now, and she couldn't deny what that meant.
"You certainly surprised me," she said after telling me that Julia would be right out. "I see a lot of people come through here, and I never expected you would become such an honored client."
I wasn't sure how to respond to that, and I must have had a dirty look cross my face because her expression turned toward one of horror for a moment before she spoke again.
"Don't get me wrong," she tried to apologize and explain at the same time. "You're a gorgeous girl, but looks aren't everything in this industry."
"Well," I said, somewhat guardedly. "I wasn't signed because of my looks. I think my voice was more important to them."
The receptionist’s face fell as she realized that I had been offended by her remark. I knew she had tried to compliment me, but she clearly could have chosen her words better.
Thankfully, Julia walked into the lobby at that moment. She quickly looked at me before she turned toward the receptionist. I saw the cold look Julia gave her before turning back to me.
"Right this way, Sarah." At least Julia had a warm smile on her face. I followed her out of the lobby and into the hall that led to the many offices, the dressing rooms, and the 'Stash' that made up the rest of the floor of the building. She didn't seem very happy though, and I knew it had something to do with what she had interrupted.
"You'll have to excuse Ursula," Julia said while we walked. "She can be a bit demeaning. It helps keep some of the walk-ins away, but she has a nasty habit of not turning it off."
We walked for a bit before I responded. I was surprised that the receptionist had said that to me, but she hadn't intended harm.
"It's okay," I finally told Julia. "I know that she didn't mean to offend me. She probably should have considered her words more carefully before speaking, though. I won't hold it against her."
Relief washed over Julia's face. I had the feeling that some of her other clients were less accepting of the flaws in the company's employees. I sincerely hoped that I never became so jaded that I failed to recognize the good that they brought with the flaws.
Julia stopped at a door to a room that I had never been in before. We stepped into the room, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The gasp that escaped Amy's mouth mirrored my own thoughts. I had expected to be led into the Stash, which is the large room where they kept a lot of clothes for their clients. Instead we had been led into a private dressing room that had a number of beautiful outfits hanging around the room! Each one caught my eye and held my attention for a moment before one of the others clamored for my gaze.
I paid Julia well, and she had yet to disappoint me in any of the outfits that she had chosen for me to wear. The ones she had picked out for the concert tour were no exception.
She gave me a moment to walk around the room and look at each one. She seemed to have put some thought into what type of outfit would look best in each city, and I could feel a "flavor" in the outfits as I matched them up to the cities I would be performing in. Most of the distinctions were very minor, since the costumes had to be relatively the same to allow me to change into each one quickly between songs, but they made a big impact on the overall outfit. I was truly impressed.
"There are a lot of dresses," was the first thing out of my mouth. She laughed immediately. I felt a smile cross my face at her mirth.
"I know that you were a tomboy at the beginning of the summer," she said. "But I'm trying to move your image into that of a girly girl. Soft, feminine, that sort of thing. Can you handle it?"
"Yes," I said, laughing myself. I hadn't ever really been a tomboy, but these clothes were exactly the type of clothes that I loved to wear now.
"You used to be a tomboy?" Amy asked incredulously, causing me to laugh again.
"Not exactly," I told her. "I've never really been into sports or anything, but I never really dressed up or wore makeup too much."
She gave me a weird look like she didn't believe me. I laughed again. I couldn't tell her the truth. But since she hadn't known me before, it seemed way out of character for me in her mind. I had to agree. Dressing the way I had before Megan took over my life would be totally out of character for me now.
"Let's try one on," Julia interrupted. We had a lot of work to do to make sure each one had the proper fit. But I couldn't keep myself from chuckling again at Amy's look as I walked toward the first outfit.
On Thursday morning Dad insisted on driving me to the building that we had been using for the dress rehearsals. I couldn't figure out why he wanted to, because I had already made him promise to stay away from the rehearsals so that he wouldn't hear the new song. I'd driven myself each day this week. Maybe he had business that he needed to attend to downtown, or maybe he had somewhere he wanted to take me after the rehearsals were over, so I caved in and let him drive me.
Rehearsals went really well. With only two days until the first concert we were about as ready as we could be. Kate was only correcting very small things while we performed all of the songs again.
When I had changed and was ready to go, I found Dad waiting for me. But I knew something was up when I noticed Emily and Ethan with him, dressed as Chloe and Xander. I smiled quickly and Emily promptly wrapped me in a hug. I had hardly seen her during the last two weeks because of our different work schedules. She usually worked evenings, and I'd been working on choreography during the time she was at home. I couldn't wait until summer was over and I'd get to spend more time with her. She had already told me that she wouldn't be working at the store during the school year.
Dad took us out to a fancy restaurant for lunch. We were given a semi-private table so we weren’t interrupted by fans too much, but they were always there when I went out as Sarah anymore. I tried to get Dad's big surprise out of him as we ate, but his lips were sealed on the subject. Emily and Ethan were tightlipped too, yet they seemed to know more than I did.
We started for home after lunch, which really threw me off. But Dad exited the freeway earlier than normal, increasing my excitement again. We were driving up a fairly busy street when I first got a glimpse of it. I noticed a small group of people congregating around a chain-link fence; they were pointing in at a parking lot while taking pictures.
"What's going on up there?" I asked. Emily leaned forward from where she was sitting in the back of Dad's car to peer over my shoulder out the front window.
"I don't know," she said, but I somehow knew she was lying.
A moment later it came into view. I felt the large intake of breath catch in my throat at the sight. Parked in the parking lot were a number of buses, but forefront to everyone's view was a big white one. But what made me gasp was the fact that my logo was plastered across the side of it! Even though I had never seen the bus before, I knew without a doubt that it was my tour bus! Having my name on the side of the bus only confirmed that realization.
"Dad..." I gasped, but I didn't know what else to say to him. He smiled broadly at my reaction while he pulled around the corner to a gate that was being manned by a security officer. After a brief exchange, the officer opened the gate and Dad drove into the parking lot and over to the bus. My eyes hadn't left the vehicle the entire time.
"Wait until you see the inside," Dad said while opening his door. I opened my own door and stepped out. I heard a few cheers from the crowd that had been looking at the bus on the other side of the fence, but I still couldn't take my eyes away from the large bus that was silently idling, waiting for me.
Dad led me over toward the door, which opened at our approach, and Eddie, my driver, stepped out.
"She's a beaut', Sarah," he grinned at me in excitement. "She'll be fun to drive around the country, I guarantee that."
I laughed at his enthusiasm, and he stepped aside and I hesitantly climbed into the bus.
I fell in love immediately. After taking a few steps up and through the driver's section of the bus, I knew that Dad had taken a lot of care in having a designer tailor this bus to my liking. The wood paneling that made up the majority of the walls and surfaces was made of a very light color. Some of the slats appeared almost white while others had a creamy beige, almost light yellow quality to them, though the lighting may have had something to do with the color differences. The floor was a very dark brown hardwood broken up only by the lighter brown shaggy rug that ran most of the way through the middle of the large area at the front of the bus. A dark brown couch lined the wall on my right while two matching sofa chairs and a table greeted me on the left.
Further back a small kitchen area adorned the left wall with a large, full-size stainless-steel fridge. To the right of that was a small dining area with leather benches in a matching dark brown to the sofa. I slowly made my way down the bus taking in every little detail. It wasn't overtly feminine, but it certainly had a feminine vibe to it with a couple of pink pillows on the couch and other small touches here and there. There was even a display case that had a number of pictures of me with Chloe and Xander or with the band inside!
I turned back to Dad, who was following me, and gasped again. At the front of the bus I had totally missed the large screen TV above the fireplace that took up the area to the right of the door that led back off the bus! My bus had a fireplace!
"This bus is for you and your family, Sarah. The band and the other crew members have their own bus," Dad explained before pointing out a couple of the features. "This couch is actually a sofa bed. Your mom and I will sleep there when we are traveling with you. There are three bunks toward the back where Austin can sleep. The other two will be vacant for now, though if Amy or your security needs a place to bunk they may use them. The bedroom is for you."
I turned back toward the rear of the bus. There was a short hallway there and at the end I could see the edge of a bed. Still speechless, I slowly walked toward the hall. I found the bunks on my left quickly; the curtains separating them from the rest of the bus were open and each one looked very inviting for such a small, enclosed space. They all had TV’s and comfortable-looking mattresses topped by soft sheets. Austin was going to love it. Across the hall from the bunks was a bathroom and a small closet or storage area.
At the end of the bunks, there was a door that led into the bedroom. A quick glance inside proved that this was definitely the best room in the bus. The dark brown hardwood floor gave way to plush carpet slightly lighter in color. Just inside the door were a second bathroom on the right and a shower on the left that was much larger than I expected to find on a bus. A short distance further in the room opened up with the bed pushed against the right wall and covered with a beautiful spread that made me want to curl up on top and stay there all day. The left wall was comprised of a small dresser below the large dark-tinted window and a wardrobe further toward the back where I could already see a number of clothes hanging through the open door, likely filled by Julia. The back wall of the bus was filled with more storage space and a larger display case that was mostly empty save for a small frame with a few more pictures of the band and different performances inside, some more pictures of Sarah with Chloe and Xander, and a small picture of Megan and her family. It was the only picture in the bus of my real family. I wished that we didn't have to hide them here in my own private sanctum on the road, but I knew that there was a chance people would be on the bus that we couldn't let in on the secret.
"This is amazing!" Emily said while plopping down on the bed. By the way she sunk down I knew it was going to be really comfortable to sleep on. "You are so spoiled!"
I laughed immediately. I felt the same way.
I continued to look around the bus for the next ten minutes, opening drawers, and learning what it had to offer. I'd never been in a motor home or a bus like this, and the thought of spending time here while on the road was exciting! If I couldn't sleep in my own bed at night, this would be a great second alternative, although I knew I'd still be spending most of my nights in a hotel.
When I finally made my way back to the front of the bus, I found Ethan sitting on one of the chairs staring out the window. He looked bored. I glanced outside and noticed he was staring at the small crowd still looking at the bus and taking pictures. That gave me an idea.
"Bored, huh?" I said and lightly kicked Ethan's leg. He looked up at me and smiled.
"This bus is awesome," he said. "But I'm not entirely sure I like being Xander, and it only reminds me of that fact. I'm positive that I hate wearing this wig and this polo shirt. It's hot outside. I want to wear a T-shirt."
I smirked at him. He was sidetracking my idea, but this sounded more important. "I did warn you to think about the name."
"It's not the name," he said. "I still like the name. No, I hate these clothes and the persona you gave me. I don't want to be preppy."
"Then change," I told him. "Find a style that works right for you. Don't be the person I made you just because I gave you something to start with. Find out who you think Xander is and build him up the way you want him to be. I want you to be comfortable around Sarah and her fans, not feeling like you are putting on a show, okay?"
He smiled so big I thought it was going to crack his face for a moment. Then he laughed and nodded. It was a laugh of relief. I hadn't realized that this had been bothering him, but I was glad we had cleared the air about it.
"Up for having some fun with the fans?" I asked and gestured to the group. Ethan smiled again, and I turned back to my dad.
"Dad, can you get my guitar out of the car?" I asked him. He nodded and stepped past me while he reached into his pocket for his keys.
I followed him off the bus to be greeted by a few screams of delight from the small group standing outside the fence. There were about 10 people standing there. Most of them appeared to be teenagers about my own age, with only a couple of adults and one younger girl with them. I waved at them, and then pointed at the gate. A few looks of surprise washed over some of them, but they got the message and started running toward the gate we had entered not too long before. The rest of them seemed to understand after seeing their actions, or at least followed behind the first group at a slower pace. When they reached the gate I smiled at the alarm on the security guard's face, but I waved them in and he opened the gate for them.
I saw Dad retrieve my guitar and take it onto the bus while I waited for the fans to make their way across the parking lot. He seemed to understand what I was going to do.
The first fan to reach me was a boy who looked like he could be my age. But he was screaming and hollering and acting like a little girl in his excitement. Before I could do or say anything he wrapped me in a quick hug, and then backed away quickly with a look of horror on his face at his actions. He had two friends with him who were only slightly less restrained.
As I laughed lightly at their reaction, it got me thinking. This was the part that I didn't understand about Sarah's fame. It turned normal teenage boys into screaming balls of nerves and giddiness. It was something I had never seen boys do before Sarah entered my life, but their reaction and the shrieks that they emitted put a smile on my face every single time.
While we were waiting for the last stragglers to catch up, one of the other boys reached out slowly toward me. I was laughing again as he brushed my arm before retreating back to his friends with another one of those shrieks. A couple of the girls our age looked mortified at the boys’ actions, and I heard Emily laughing up a storm behind me. I gave a quick glance back and she was turning red with the laughter. Ethan was rolling his eyes at their stupidity. But he had a smile on his own face. He certainly didn't look bored anymore.
"Hi everyone," I said and greeted them with another small wave. There were a number of greetings back. "I saw you guys admiring my new tour bus. Do you like it?" Everyone was nodding their heads or responding in the affirmative. "Well, I just got to see it for the first time myself. It's pretty cool inside. Who wants to be among the first people to take a tour?" Hands shot up from all of them and the boy that hugged me shrieked in excitement once again. I couldn't contain my own laugh when I heard Emily crack up again.
"Come on in," I told them and then stepped onto the bus. I continued walking until I was at the far end of the main room, which allowed everyone room to board. A number of them had their cameras out again and were snapping pictures. I even saw two of them holding their cameras like they were recording video.
They were all mesmerized as I walked them through the bus and pointed out what little I knew about it. The bus seemed a lot smaller with that many people on board, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. At least I didn't have any dirty clothes or personal items strewn about yet to embarrass me.
I made small talk with as many of them as I could while they looked around. When everyone had their chance to see everything, I made my way back up to the front to where Dad was sitting in the chair next to the fireplace. I yearned to press the button to see if it worked, but I had more pressing matters to attend to at the moment. He stood up and handed me my guitar, which he had already taken out of its case. The fans scrambled to find somewhere to sit when they realized what that meant. Dad pointed to the chair he had been in and I sat down and swiveled it toward the crowd while placing the guitar on my lap.
"I wouldn't be a proper host if I didn't play you a song before we parted ways," I told them. Both girls and boys shrieked at that information. I had never done a private show for any fans like this before. "Any requests?"
"Ever After!" one of the girls yelled immediately. There were a number of other songs yelled out, but the girl was very persuasive, and soon everyone was agreeing with her. I smiled. It was a good choice since it had started its life on a single guitar. Some of the other songs didn't quite sound the same without the band.
"I loved your dedication at your concert," one of the other girls said. "Chloe must be one heck of a friend."
I laughed out loud and looked around at the faces peering back at me until I found Emily. She had a silly grin of her own at the recognition she had received.
"She is," I smiled back. "Everyone, this is Chloe," I said and gestured toward her. "She's about the best friend a girl could ask for."
Emily looked really nervous now, but managed a small wave back at the crowd. "Hello," she squeaked out a moment later. There was some lighthearted chuckling at her expense. Ethan looked uncomfortable next to her.
"Xander isn't half bad either," I told the crowd, and watched with delight as he turned red at the acknowledgment that I knew he wanted. He brought it on himself, though. I strummed my guitar lightly to save him from more embarrassment and everyone looked back toward me.
"Chloe and I wrote a couple of songs together earlier this year," I told everyone. "But this one is our favorite."
Without any other preamble I launched into the song. The soft strums of the guitar filled the bus while I played and sang the song for the small crowd that was sitting on my bus. Their looks of excitement and wonder never left their faces the entire time I sang. When I strummed the last note they broke out into clapping and cheering.
I'd felt the rush a lot over the last two weeks as we'd learned and practiced the songs for the concert. But sitting there with fans, I knew that the rush I had been feeling during rehearsals was nothing compared to the rush I got when fans were around listening. I felt like I was glowing as I looked around at the people around me. This was why I was addicted to being Sarah. I made a lot of money singing, but it was the smiles and cheers from the crowds that was the real payment.
"Sing 'You Can't Hurt Me' next," someone said. Before I had a chance to say or do anything Dad interrupted us.
"I'm afraid Sarah has other appointments that she needs to get to," he said. His comment was met with groans of disappointment from the fans. I felt slightly disappointed too. I knew that the only appointment I had before Saturday's concert was the dress rehearsal tomorrow morning. But if he wanted me to wrap this up, I would.
"Sorry, guys," I told them while putting my guitar back into its case and moving it out of the way so that it wouldn't get damaged as they left the bus. "It was nice to meet all of you."
I stood up and made sure to at least shake all of their hands as they passed me on their way off the bus. I also gave a number of hugs to some of them and signed some autographs. Overall I did my best to make each of them feel special. When I grabbed my guitar and followed Dad out to his car, I knew that I had made their day. But the best part was that they had made mine.
Catch a glimpse of Sarah's new tour bus at sarahcarerra.com
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There was a small stack of presents on the table that we made Mom open before I had to go get ready, and by the time I stepped into Sarah's room to put on the wig I knew that she had already had a great day.
My song was totally going to make it the best birthday ever. Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.40 - The Best Day by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: June 13, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.40 - The Best Day
The alarm on my phone awakened me early on Friday morning. I sighed, but turned it off and climbed out of bed. Unlike most days where I had an appointment for Sarah to get ready for, I had set the alarm for Megan. I quickly showered and dressed in Sarah's clothes, since I still had to leave for the dress rehearsal in a while. But I left the wig off as I made my way to the kitchen.
I tried my best to keep the noise to a minimum as I started pulling out the pots and pans I would need. I had cooked enough with my mom that I felt confident I knew what I was doing. It wasn't until the smell of bacon started wafting through the house that I began to hear everyone else stir. When Dad walked into the kitchen a short time later, he looked shocked.
"Good morning," I told him with a smile while turning back to the eggs I was scrambling. He just stared agog for a moment at the food that I had prepared. Mom was the one who usually did all of the cooking. This was the first time that I had prepared a whole meal for the family, so I understood why he was surprised. I just hoped Mom felt the same way.
Mom was the next to enter the room, still in her robe. She displayed a similar expression of surprise, but I saw the tell-tale signs that she was proud of me. I quickly walked over to where she was standing and gave her a hug. "Happy Birthday," I told her.
She squeezed me back before speaking. "You made all of this?" she asked while gesturing toward the pancakes, bacon, eggs, and toast. I laughed but nodded my head. Breakfast was a fairly easy meal to cook. I hadn’t thought she would be quite as surprised as she was.
When she let go of me I handed her a plate and she started to load it with food while I turned back to finish cooking. Dad grabbed a plate next, and soon Austin wandered in with a hungry look on his face. I laughed at how much he piled on his plate while loading one of my own and joined my family at the dining table.
"This is really good!" Austin exclaimed after taking a bite. I laughed even harder than I had been. It was apparent that he totally thought it was going to taste bad because Mom hadn't made it. That actually was a fairly nice compliment coming from him.
"He's right, Honey," Mom said while savoring another bite. "I'm very proud of you. I can't believe how quickly you picked up what I've been teaching you."
I blushed at their compliments and tried to hide it by taking a bite of my own food. Mom was a good teacher.
"What are we doing today?" Austin asked as everyone started to finish up with their food. I perked up to hear the answer too.
"Well Megan still has a dress rehearsal this morning," Dad told us. "But afterward I thought we could go to a movie and do some shopping before going out to eat this evening. Sound good to everyone?"
Other than the dress rehearsal, it sounded like a typical birthday for my family. There was a small stack of presents on the table that we made Mom open before I had to go get ready, and by the time I stepped into Sarah's room to put on the wig I knew that she had already had a great day.
My song was totally going to make it the best birthday ever.
Dad drove me to the rehearsals again. He wanted to be able to come by and pick me up later so that the entire family was in one car. I was okay with that because it forced him to bring Mom and Austin to hear the song.
I knew Dad was excited to hear what I had been keeping from him for the last two weeks. I'd told him that it was a present for Mom, and that I didn't want him to hear it beforehand, but I knew it had been eating him up inside. At least he hadn't spoiled the surprise and told Mom that I had written it.
"You smell good," Stacy commented when I greeted the band on stage. Holly slapped him with a little laugh.
"She smells like bacon," Connor commented, trying to explain it. I laughed that time.
"Sorry, I made my mom breakfast this morning," I told them. I could see some of them salivate at the thought of breakfast. But we didn't have much time before we had to get to work.
The last dress rehearsal turned out to be the best one yet. We couldn't have asked for a better outcome. Even Kate had a hard time finding anything to complain about. She had a large smile on her face when we were done that was shared by everyone in the building.
I was trembling when my family showed up. I was so nervous about what Mom would think about the song. Earlier I had been sure that she would like it, but now I had doubts. But I had come this far, and I knew I had to perform it for her.
The band and I walked over to where Mom was standing and wished her 'Happy Birthday'. I did the same to keep up appearances because there were so many people in the room that didn't know my true identity. We talked for a bit while people cleaned up their stuff and left. Most of the equipment would be dismantled after lunch so that it could be transported up to Paso Robles later this evening. That would give the band and me time to play the song for my small audience alone.
Soon the only people left in the room were people who knew my secret. My family and the band were there, and so were my assistant Amy and my security men Cole and Mason. Everyone else had gone to get lunch or to prepare for the trip up to the concert.
"Can you guys make sure those doors stay closed and locked?" I asked Cole and Mason while pointing to the two sets of doors that led into the room where the stage had been set up. They nodded and promptly secured the entrances. I led everyone else over to a small area in front of the stage where there were some chairs set up and had them take a seat. Mom had a very curious look on her face. She had no idea what was coming next.
"I have a present for you," I told Mom before reaching up to start unpinning my wig. This was definitely not something I wanted to do as Sarah.
Amy gasped when she saw what I was doing and started to look around nervously. I noticed that Cole and Mason were also looking on, intrigued. They all knew my secret, but none of them had yet seen me without the wig. However this song was from me as Megan to my mom, not from Sarah. They were going to learn who I really was today.
I finished unpinning the wig and set it down softly on a vacant chair before letting my own hair down. Amy was staring at me with wide eyes as I ran my fingers through my hair to help comb it out a bit. Then I stepped back up onto the stage where the band was already waiting for me. I picked up my guitar from where it was waiting near the microphone and placed the strap over my head before turning back to the crowd, and my mom.
"Mom," I said into the microphone, and I could already see tears in her eyes. I had to hold back my own tears for a moment before I could continue. "I wrote this song for you two weeks ago. I didn't go to Emily's house to get away from you that night I found the album. I went to her house so that I could write this song without you hearing it."
I felt a tear run down my cheek now, and Mom actually broke out into sobs. I took a moment to compose myself. "You really are 'My Hero'."
I took a deep breath, and started strumming the guitar. The band fell into sync immediately. The song started with a nice, peaceful chord that continued throughout the entire song. The notes were enough to make another tear run down my cheek.
The first verse talked about that first day I remembered spending with Mom. It talked about how much fun we had. It talked about how much I loved her. I had only been five that day, but I already knew that she was my hero at that point in my life. I could see more tears running down Mom's cheeks to match my own.
Each verse finished by singing about how much those days meant to me. I talked about how happy I had been when I'd spent time with my mom like I had growing up. I told her how they had been some of the best days of my life.
The song continued in the same manner for a couple of more verses where I talked about a few more of those days, and about how lucky I was to have my family and a beautiful environment to grow up in.
Then the song slowed down ever so slightly when I sang a verse about finding the album. I sang about what that had meant to me and about how happy I was that Mom had made it. Then I sang about how much those days meant one last time before I turned toward expressing my love to Mom and making sure that she knew how much she meant to me.
Nowhere in the song did I mention the words 'My Hero', but as I sang the last words and strummed my guitar for the last time, I knew that Mom understood that it was how I felt about her.
She stood up immediately and started clapping and cheering at me. It took me way too long to get my guitar strap over my head and to place it down on the stage before I jumped off the end and ran into her arms. We were both sobbing messes in under a second as we held each other.
"I love you, Mom," I whispered into her ear. "I was surprised when I found the album, but those days were the best days of my life. Never think that I regret any of it. You gave me the chance to be my true self while growing up. I can never thank you enough for that."
She squeezed me tighter after hearing my words, and I knew she didn't know what to say. I knew that she had been feeling guilty about the album over the last two weeks even though I had repeatedly told her I wasn't upset. Now she truly understood just how much it had meant to me.
A knock on one of the outer doors to the room broke our hug and I reached for my wig immediately. I felt bad that I had to hide my true identity again so quickly, but nobody had seen Megan enter. It wouldn't do to let them see her leaving instead of Sarah.
Mom helped me gather my own hair and pin the wig back into place and we hugged briefly again before Cole opened the door to let some of the audio/video guys back in. Instead of going out to eat they had only gone to pick up the food that they were apparently going to eat while dismantling the equipment. I grinned at their inquisitive looks briefly before pulling my compact out of my purse and doing my best to make sure that my makeup was okay.
When I was done I made sure to thank every member of the band for helping me give the song to my mom. Every single one of them returned my gratitude with a hug and told me that they were always willing to help me do something like that.
I left them to start dismantling their own equipment as my family and I headed for the car, and to continue celebrating Mom's birthday.
"What about this one?" I asked my mom while holding up a nice dress.
She paused looking through the clothes on display to look over at me. "You'd look good in that one," she said as she eyed the dark blue dress.
I let out a short laugh before I could speak. "I didn't mean for me," I told her. "I think this would look good on you."
She shook her head. "No, I don't think so."
"Try it on," I encouraged and held the hanger out to her.
"No," she said more forcefully while pushing my hand away.
"Yes!" I replied in kind, pushing it toward her again. She sighed, but she took the hangar. I knew that she was just humoring me as she placed it over her arm with the other items she wanted to try on and turned toward the dressing rooms. I also knew, however, that she was going to look spectacular.
I followed her over to the entrance to the dressing rooms and took a seat outside on the bench next to where Dad and Austin were sitting. Mom took the clothes and entered the dressing room area.
"You should totally see this dress I just picked out for her," I told them. Dad opened his eyes and Austin looked up from where he was playing a game on his phone, but neither of them were excited. This was probably boring for them.
We had left the rehearsal intent on going to a movie, but when we arrived at the theater we learned that the time we had planned to go was already sold out. Instead, we had to get tickets for a later showing. That left us with plenty of time to do some shopping beforehand. Mom and I were excited about that, at least. Dad and Austin were just suffering through it, apparently.
When Mom came out of the dressing room, she was not wearing the dress. I should have known she would chicken out. She was wearing a really nice blouse and skirt though.
"Ooh," I said. I hadn't seen her pick those items out, but they definitely suited her. Dad's eyes perked up at the sight of her, and even Austin complimented her. I knew the blouse and skirt were going to end up in her 'Purchase' pile. She continued to show us different outfits, most of which looked really good, but she still hadn't put on the dress.
I figured she had to be running out of clothes to try on, and when she didn't come out for a long time I knew she was looking at the dress. I stood up and went through the small partition between the waiting area and into the small room that had doors into each dressing room. I didn't see her looking in any of the mirrors that filled most of the walls.
"Mom?" I asked, trying to determine her location.
"I can't wear this, Megan," came from one of the dressing rooms to my left. I stepped over to where I thought I had heard her voice and twisted the doorknob. She hadn't locked the door, and I found her standing on the other side looking into a mirror in the small dressing room.
She looked spectacular!
"Oh yes you can," I told her with confidence. "That looks amazing on you! Here, let me help."
She had her back to me, and the dark blue dress hugged her curves. I reached up and finished zipping her up before pulling her out of the dressing room. She looked uncomfortable immediately at being put on display to the other women in the small outer room.
"Stand straight," I said and she complied, though it looked hard for her to do. I knew what was scaring her. She wasn't used to wearing anything that tight, but she still had the body for it. I motioned for her to twirl around, and she gave me a slow turn.
When she was facing me again, I turned to a woman in her early 20's who had been admiring her own outfit before Mom had come out of her dressing room. "What do you think?"
The girl's eyes hadn't left Mom since landing on her, but she quickly glanced at me before looking back at my mom. "That dress is perfect!" she exclaimed. "I mean, you could possibly even take it in a bit at the waist, but it still looks really good."
"Take it in?" Mom asked incredulously. She obviously didn't believe the woman's statement. She turned toward one of the full-length mirrors to get another look at herself. "No, I can't wear this. I'm too old."
The other woman who was with us laughed and I stepped over and put my arms around my mom.
"You aren't old," I told her. "You're only 36, and you can pull this look off. I promise. Come on, let's show Dad."
I started pulling her toward the door, but she wouldn't have any of it. "No!" she nearly screamed and pulled hard against me. But I held on firmly and dragged her toward the entrance by the hand.
When I got her outside, she stood up straight and rigid immediately, her head swiveling from side to side. She was clearly embarrassed to be seen by anyone else. She looked so nervous standing there. But one thing happened that seemed to make her want to turn and run even more.
Dad gasped.
He had a look on his face that I knew all too well. Boys looked at me like that all the time. I shuddered slightly. I didn't want to think about my parents THAT way.
"Linda!" Dad found his words. "You look stunning!"
Mom relaxed almost immediately, and finally started to listen to somebody. Dad came over and gave her a kiss and a small hug, and she seemed to change into an entirely different person. I smiled at the same time that Austin grimaced at their display of affection. I had told her she could pull off this look!
I spent most of the rest of my spending allowance for the month purchasing that dress and the other clothes she had picked out. Dad wanted to help pay for them, but I wouldn't let him. What was the point of having all this money if I couldn't spend it on the most important woman in my life?
She might have been worried when she first saw the dress, but she was smiling when we left the store.
Later that evening, I was sitting on the couch in Sarah's room with Mom's head lying across my lap. I was returning the favor that she had shown me the day I wrote her song and was softly caressing her hair as we talked. We'd gone to the movie and even had a nice meal at Mom's favorite restaurant. Then we returned home where Dad had been forced to take a call from one of his other clients, while Austin was in the front room watching TV.
"I love your song," she said while looking up at me.
I smiled back down at her. "I know," I said, causing her to chuckle softly.
"So you really aren't mad about the photo album?" she asked me. I saw the same concern in her eyes that I had seen for the last two weeks when she'd looked at me.
"No," I told her confidently. "Like I told you this morning, those were the best days of my life, Mom. I wouldn't change them for anything. I love you so much! I wouldn't be where I am today without you. All the album did was show me that I've always been this girl that I’ve grown up to be. I'm so glad that you actually made that album. I never would have known how much I truly was Megan while growing up without it. Thank you."
Mom sat up as I reached over and grabbed the album from where it was sitting on the edge of the couch. When I turned to the first page I no longer felt the horror and uncertainty that had filled me the first time I had seen the book. Instead, I felt the love and compassion that having my mom in my life meant. We talked about each picture and what we remembered. I never realized how much those days meant to Mom too.
When we got to the first blank page, I reached for the other item sitting on the edge of the couch. With a smile on my face I turned to Mom and handed it to her. She shook her head, though, and refused to accept it from me. Instead, I placed the edges of the item into the designated spots we had created a short time before when we decorated the page together, and Mom helped me slide in the last piece.
I hugged her closely as we looked at the new photo that had been added to the album. It showed me hugging Mom after I sang her the song earlier this morning. But unlike the little bit of writing Mom had done to describe the day on each of the other pages, this page only had three words, written in my flowing script:
The Best Day.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Hear the song that inspired the story at sarahcarerra.com
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Each step toward the stage brought the level of the rush I had been feeling all day closer and closer to the storm that I knew was coming. Each step closer provided me with a louder and louder roar from the crowd.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.41 - The Mid-State Fair by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: June 20, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.41 - The Mid-State Fair
I woke up the next morning already feeling a slight buzz of excitement. The last day of July would also be the first day of my debut concert tour. I still couldn't believe how much my life had changed this summer!
After taking a shower and getting dressed in one of Sarah's outfits, I made my way to the kitchen where a very familiar smell was wafting through the air. Mom had apparently decided to return the present I had given her yesterday and had made me a big breakfast to celebrate my first concert. I was very appreciative, if the amount of food I ate was any indication. Then I grabbed my guitar from Sarah's room and made my way out to Dad's car where the rest of my family was already waiting for me.
I had hoped that Ethan or Emily would be travelling with us today, but both had other commitments. Emily had to work, which she was starting to get tired of, especially because it was keeping her from a concert. At least she had asked for time off so that she could go to the OC Fair concert. Ethan had gone to his uncle's house for the weekend with his family. He had failed to convince them to drive the additional two hours to the fair for my concert, mostly because his family didn't know the truth about me and they already had tickets to the OC Fair too. He told me that his Mom just thought he wanted to see his crush in concert more than once. I'd laughed heartily at that statement.
The drive to the parking lot where the bus was parked didn't take very long. There was another small crowd looking at the bus when we arrived. I figured that it was parked where it was for both marketing purposes and as a place to store it when it wasn't in use. The same security guard greeted us and let us into the parking lot. The first thing I noticed was that all of the other buses had left. Dad parked his car near my bus, and we all got out.
I waved at the few people who were looking at the bus when we pulled up, but Dad wouldn't let me sign any autographs. Apparently we had a schedule to keep. Instead I grabbed my guitar out of the trunk and stepped onto the bus. Dad said that it was going to be nearly a four hour drive up the coast, but having a comfortable place to spend that time like the bus would make it a lot more bearable.
Eddie was waiting for us in the driver's seat, and I greeted him warmly. I stepped into the bus proper and I found Amy waiting with Cole. Mason had apparently already gone ahead to set up security, but they wanted to have at least one of them with me all day today.
The drive up was long, but it wasn't too bad. Dad had decided to take the scenic route, and soon we were traveling up the 101. We watched a movie on the big TV above the fireplace and played some games to help pass the time. I even enjoyed looking out the window and watching the reactions of people in the cars that passed us. Many of them waved and hoped for a glimpse of me, but I knew the windows were too dark for them to see me inside. I waved back anyway.
But even more importantly, I finally got to press the button to turn on the fireplace. It was really cool to see the flames dancing around as we drove, and I could even turn off the heat if I wanted to. That was really cool!
It was shortly after noon when the bus pulled off the highway and slowly started to make its way toward the fairgrounds in Paso Robles. They were just off the 101, and we made a full loop around the fairgrounds to get to the backstage area.
The backstage area was between the stage and a camping area full of campers. As Eddie pulled the bus down the small street that led to the area where he was told to park, I saw the few people around stop what they were doing and watch as we passed.
Soon Eddie parked the bus in its designated area near the other buses that had already arrived. The area was situated where everyone could see it, yet it would still provide me easy access between the backstage area and the bus.
When I stepped off the bus, I immediately noticed how hot it was. I hadn't expected it to be hotter here than in LA, but it was. I gave a silent prayer of thanks to Julia for selecting a wardrobe that would keep me cool while performing in this venue. I was also glad for the shorts and lightweight top that I had chosen to wear this morning.
The next thing I noticed was Rosemary standing there waiting for me.
"Sarah," Rosemary greeted me warmly. "I trust your trip up was okay?"
"Yes," I replied. "That bus is amazing."
"Good," she said with a chuckle at my enthusiasm. "We're almost ready for your sound check. The band is setting up their equipment now."
"Okay," I said and let her lead me toward the stage. Having the bus was already proving to be a lifesaver, because I didn't feel like I'd been cramped in a car for the four hour drive. I actually felt pretty good to be stepping out of the long drive and going straight to work.
The first thing that struck me as I stepped up onto the stage was just how many seats there were staring at the stage. I knew that this was one of the bigger venues I would be playing at on the tour, but it still amazed me to see the 14,000 empty seats that swarmed the area between the stage and the grandstands on the opposite side! That was double what had been at my first concert if the lawn wasn’t included. The Staples Center was much bigger, but it had been dark enough in there that I never really got a good impression of the seats around the swirl of emotions that Josh had put me through. The only venues that would be larger than this one were the Indiana State Fair and the Gorge Amphitheatre at the end.
The band was still assembling their equipment. After I greeted them, I opened my guitar case and pulled out my own baby and then I plugged it into the system where I was directed to. Then we proceeded to go through the sound check with only a few workers finishing the setup of the venue as an audience.
It was slightly surreal to realize that I would be playing to a large crowd once again. I'd had a small rush surging throughout my body since I'd left the bus, and I couldn't wait to feel it explode inside of me when the crowd was sitting in front of me.
It was going to be a good day.
After the sound check, the band and I headed back to the buses to escape the heat until we were needed again. They gave me a tour of their bus, and I was surprised at how small it seemed. It was the same model bus as mine, but the interior felt more cramped. I definitely got the better end of the deal with my own bus, a feeling that I knew they had when I took them on a tour of mine.
The band and I collapsed on the chairs and couches at the front of my bus while the rest of my family went to take in the fair. I really wanted to join them, but I now had to cram a bunch of the interviews and other obligations that I would have normally done this morning into the time we had before the show. We hadn't come up the night before because we wanted to spend time at home for Mom's birthday, but now I was paying the price for it.
I didn't get to spend much time with the band before Amy came to get me. The interviews and other media appearances fell under Amy’s jurisdiction. So Amy, who was essentially my manager now, got the honor of ordering me around much the way Dad had done for most of the summer. Officially Dad was still my agent and manager, but I knew that he had delegated much of the work to her, and that she was being compensated well for it. Truthfully, I was happy to have her on board because it was a lot easier to say no to her.
After the interviews and photo shoots were completed in a small backstage area, I was almost ready for a nap. It was only 4:30 in the afternoon, and I still had three hours before the opening act took the stage before my own concert. The media could certainly be draining.
I made my way back to the bus. Mason had one of his security guys watching it, and I found the bus empty when I stepped inside. With no more responsibilities before my concert I was once again tempted to take off my wig and find my family, but I knew that was not a good idea. Instead I went back to the bedroom and laid down on the bed while turning on the TV.
"Sarah," I heard and then someone was shaking me lightly. I started and my eyes flew open.
Amy was standing next to the bed, where I had apparently drifted off. She picked up the remote to the TV and turned it off while I shook the cobwebs out of my head. I knew that the interviews and photo opportunities had left me feeling slightly drained, but I never expected to fall asleep! The only good thing was that the short nap hadn't left me feeling groggy, and instead left me feeling energized. When I swung my legs off the bed, I could tell that Amy was smiling at the confusion that waking up had invoked in me.
"I hadn't meant to fall asleep, but that certainly was refreshing," I told her, eliciting a short chuckle from her.
"I'm sorry to awaken you," she replied a moment later. "But you have some guests waiting."
I nodded and stood up before walking over to the mirror and making sure that I looked okay. Stephanie would be here later to do my makeup for the concert, but I still looked presentable. I ran my fingers through the wig quickly to even it out a bit from where I had been resting my head on the pillow, but otherwise felt that I looked okay.
"Who is it?" I asked her.
"A few fans who have All-Access passes," Amy replied. "They're waiting in the front of the bus."
I nodded again and then turned toward the door. Soon I had a large smile on my face at the sight of the two women and the young girl who were waiting for me.
"Dr. Holbrook!" I greeted her excitedly while walking the rest of the way and giving her a short hug. I had forgotten that I had asked Dad to get her tickets for tonight's concert!
"Hi, Sarah," she said with a smile after we had let go of each other. "It's nice to see you again. And please, call me Jenny."
I returned her smile before turning to the bundle of joy who had her arms wrapped tightly around my waist. "And this must be your granddaughter," I said while looking at the young angel who was staring up at me in awe. She looked like she was about 7 or 8, and had the cutest little face with big, wide eyes. I knew immediately that she was one of my "special" fans. She held on tightly until I bent down to her eye level. "What's your name?"
"Bethany," the girl replied. She looked like it was Christmas morning and she had just seen all of the presents sitting under the tree.
"It's nice to meet you, Bethany," I told her before standing back up and turning toward the only person on the bus I still didn't know.
"This is my daughter Andrea," Jenny said by way of invitation. Andrea held out her hand and I took it and smiled at her.
"It's nice to meet you too, Andrea," I told her while shaking her hand. Then I gestured toward the couch that they had been sitting on. "Please, have a seat." I did the same and took a seat on one of the chairs facing the couch. "Have you been enjoying the fair so far?"
"We come every year," Andrea said. "But today has been extra special. Bethany has never been so excited, and I'm sure she is in heaven meeting you."
I smiled at the young girl once again, and her face broke out in another large smile. She was slightly embarrassed at the attention, but I knew her mother's words were true.
I talked with the three of them for quite a while. I would have played them a song, but I wasn't entirely sure where my guitar was. It had been given to one of the sound techs for safekeeping until the concert, and I hoped that it was still okay.
I could have spent all day with Dr. Holbrook and her family. They were really nice people, and I was super glad that I'd had Dad get tickets for them. But eventually Amy had to interrupt us.
"Sarah," she said from where she had been sitting and talking with us on the other chair. "I hate to interrupt, but you have a few people you need to meet before they go on stage, and time is running out."
"Okay," I said before turning back to my guests while standing up. "I'm sorry we have to cut this short, but before you go, I have something for Bethany. Come on back."
I then led them back to the bedroom where I went straight to one of the drawers in the small dresser. I entered the small code that Dad had given me into the small keypad and pulled open the drawer to reveal a number of items that I could give away to fans, including what Dad and Amy had now officially dubbed the "Carerra Bears".
When Bethany first caught sight of the soft pink bear that had my signature stitched on its tummy, her face took on the same excitement that she had first shown when she saw me. I smiled and then crouched down until I was on my knees and at her eye level once again.
"This is a Carerra Bear," I told her while letting her take it from me. She hugged it to her chest immediately. "My dad gave me one just like this, but bigger, when I was younger. Whenever I feel scared or sad I hug it really hard until everything is okay again. You can't buy these in stores, and this is only the second one I've given out. It means that you are one of my special fans. I want you to remember that you can do anything in the world, and if you ever feel you can't, just hug the bear until you can, okay?"
She nodded enthusiastically before wrapping her arms around my neck in a big hug. I squeezed her back.
"Thank you," Andrea said softly after we had parted. I nodded, and then we walked back toward the front of the bus. I was sad to see them go, but I knew I would be able to see them from the stage later. It was fans like Bethany who made this so much fun.
The members of 'Poptacular' appeared to be really happy at the size of their dressing room. I knew that the big tent had originally been designated for my use for the day before Dad had elected to have me use the bus instead. I didn't fault his decision. The room was nice and comfortable, but it couldn't compare with the thought and design that had gone into my tour bus.
I had not previously met the people who would be opening for me for most of the tour. They looked excited to meet me though. None of them displayed the same enthusiasm that Bethany had, but it was obvious they were excited to be touring with me.
Poptacular consisted of a brother and sister vocal team that sounded really good together. The four piece band that backed them up was also quite good. They had been gaining in popularity over the last year and I knew that Scott hoped to push their album sales even higher by having them open for me. It seemed so weird to be popular enough to have someone riding MY coattails. After all, I didn't even have a contract myself three months ago.
I spent some time getting to know them before they had to head for the stage. Then I returned to my own bus once again. At least this time my family had returned and it wasn't just Amy and me hanging out together. We played a few card games and just had fun while I waited to be called to the stage with the music of Poptacular as a backdrop. Of all the concerts I had performed to date, the wait for this one to start definitely had been the best.
Soon Stephanie showed up to get me ready, and not long after that Rosemary appeared to escort me to the stage. Darkness was quickly falling as I followed her through the maze that led to the stage. I once again admired Julia's ability to dress me. At first look, the pale yellow dress I was wearing was gorgeous, and seemed to fit in with the whole "country" theme that most fairs usually had despite their locations. Yet the sparkles that glittered as I moved around proved that I had the glam portion covered as well. My favorite part, however, was how cool it felt on me. Even in the shorts and top I had been wearing all day I had felt hot, but the dress had some way of letting the cool breeze brush across my body as I walked. Even though the sun's light had already faded well below the horizon, there was still plenty of heat to keep me warm. The next time I saw Julia, I would make sure that I would thank her for doing her homework on what the weather would be like at each venue.
Each step toward the stage brought the level of the rush I had been feeling all day closer and closer to the storm that I knew was coming. Each step closer provided me with a louder and louder roar from the crowd. The crowd here would be comparable to the crowd in Salt Lake, and the background noise of that many people talking and passing time until the beginning of the show was just as noisy. In Salt Lake it had made me really nervous and scared to take the stage, but today all it did was pump me up and get me more and more excited.
The band was waiting for me just off stage, and they looked nearly as excited as I felt as I approached them. I was also happy to see Amy standing nearby with the package I had asked her to retrieve.
"Are you guys ready?" I asked them. Choruses of excitement were returned, and I saw the fire in their eyes that I knew was already shining in my own. I then turned to Amy who handed me the box.
"What's the box for?" Sophie asked curiously.
I smiled. "I've told you guys about the Carerra Bears, right?" I asked them. They shook their heads, which surprised me. I thought I had told them. I opened the box and pulled out a large bear that was a replica of the one I had at home. This one was slightly different because it had my signature embroidered on it like the bears I had given to the two little girls already. But even more importantly, it also had the signatures of every single band member embroidered next to mine.
I got a couple of curious looks as I passed the bear around so each of them could get a closer look. They knew immediately that it held some significance, but it was also obvious that they didn't know what that significance was.
"I was in a really bad car accident when I was 10," I told them. "I was in the hospital for a while. My dad gave me a bear just like this one while I was there. Since then I have always hugged it tightly when life got hard. I've hugged it when I needed to find comfort. And I've hugged it for good luck before big events in my life."
I reached out for the bear and Stacy handed it back to me. "This is the band's Carerra Bear," I told them. "It will be kept in a display case on my bus if you guys ever want to see or hold it. I had it made to help give us luck and to help us succeed whenever we go on stage."
I closed my eyes and hugged the bear to my chest as tightly as I could for a moment, imagining having an amazing performance. When I opened my eyes the band was looking at me, and I could see the understanding in their eyes. I passed the bear to Sophie, and she hugged the bear tightly to her chest for a moment before passing it to Holly, who passed it to Jason, to Connor, and eventually to Stacy before he handed it back to me.
I then held the bear out in front of me at arm's length, and each of them reached out and placed one of their hands somewhere on the bear. I mouthed a few words at them, and when everyone understood what to do, we spoke.
"Let's get this party started!" we yelled before we all broke out in laughter at the absurdity of what we were doing.
"You are such a little girl," Sophie told me, causing me to laugh even harder. I continued to laugh as they headed for the stage to take their places.
I handed the bear to Amy and then looked at Rosemary for my cue. She nodded at me, and I started for the stage. The music from the intro video started playing, designed to create anticipation. The crowd started to roar. I was immediately blown away by the noise! I had never felt that much power and noise directed my way before!
The big screen at the back of the stage provided the light I needed to walk to my designated spot. It also kept the venue dark enough so that the audience couldn’t see me. The crowd roared even louder as words started flying across the top of the screen, and I heard my voice ask "Are you ready to have some fun?" while a countdown appeared on the screen. I only had seconds to get into position.
Over the roar of the crowd I could vaguely hear the countdown start at 10. When it reached 8 on the screen, I heard a second countdown start at 10 in my earpiece. I took a deep breath, trying to control the burning fire that was already raging throughout my body, fueled by the noise coming from the crowd. The two seconds between when the large countdown ended and my own came to a conclusion were almost surreal. I closed my eyes and basked in the roar of the crowd.
Then the loud boom of Stacy's drums and Connor's bass blared throughout the entire venue for a moment before Jason joined in with his own riff. They continued playing in the dark for a moment before light burst forth onto the stage and from the large screen behind me as I started singing 'I Just Wanna Have Fun' for the crowd. Two seconds later I was already moving to the well-rehearsed choreography that Kate had drilled into my head over the last two weeks.
I didn't believe it was possible, but the roar of the crowd increased again as they got their first glimpse of me. While I continued to sing the high-energy song, some of the screaming died down as the crowd settled in to listen to the show. But the fire inside me never left because the rush continued to grow as I performed.
Then the most amazing thing happened. The crowd’s roar started to change, and I almost stopped singing in surprise as they started singing along with me! They were having just about as much fun as I was!
I continued to sing and dance for them, mesmerized at how everyone seemed to know the song. 14,000 fans singing along with me was something I never expected to have happen, but it was one of the coolest things I had ever experienced!
When the last big boom of the band's instruments marked the end of the song, there was a moment of pure silence before the crowd roared again, fueling the fire that was burning within my veins even more. I basked in the heat for a moment while I waited for them to calm down enough for me to speak. Eventually it was quiet enough to continue.
"Are you having fun yet?" I yelled into my microphone, the same white one that Dad had given me at my first concert. The crowd roared to show me that they were.
"Do you want to have more?" I yelled after they had started to die down. They roared again.
Their screams proved they wanted to have more fun, so that's what I gave them. I did all I could to give them the best performance possible. I knew I was pushing my limits when I was breathing heavily during the few "rest" periods where I had to change my outfit, if that could be called rest.
By the time I climbed into my bed in the back of the bus it was well past midnight. I was so exhausted that I wondered if my family would even be able to wake me after the four hour trip back home. But the response from the fans during the concert and afterward backstage had shown me that it had been well worth the effort.
The last thing I remembered as the bus started to pull onto the highway and my eyes drifted closed was that I couldn't wait for Tuesday, when I'd get to do it all over again.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Hear the song that inspired this piece of the concert at sarahcarerra.com
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The Paramount Theatre was the smallest venue on the tour, seating slightly less than 3,000 people. But the noise those fans generated rivaled anywhere else I had performed as it reverberated around the small theatre that had been designed with acoustics in mind.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.42 - Paramount Theatre by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: June 27, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.42 - Paramount Theatre
Waking up for church the following morning was really hard. That was why I decided to stay in bed. Mom didn't like that decision, but at least she knew how tired I was. She was unhappy that I had missed so much church during the summer because of my new "job". I'd have to make a bigger effort to attend church on Sunday mornings after my future Saturday performances.
I would have gladly slept all day if Emily hadn't come over and jumped on my bed after she got home from church. We had family coming over this evening for a small party to celebrate Mom's birthday, and Emily wanted to spend some time with me before they started showing up.
After taking a shower to help wake me up we collapsed on the couch in Sarah's room.
"Tell me all about it!" she said excitedly as we sat and listened to the countdown.
So I did. I told her about how awesome it felt to have so many people screaming for me. I told her about how much fun it was to see them singing along with my songs. I told her about how cool it was to see the smiles on the faces of everyone near the stage.
She looked really excited when I finished. I knew that she had been sad that she hadn't been able to attend, but I also knew how much she was looking forward to Thursday night when I was performing at the OC Fair here in Los Angeles. I was excited too. Her family, Ethan's family, Paul's family, and all of my extended family had tickets to that performance. Most of them did not know my true identity, but I was super excited to be able to perform for them.
I had been worried about 'You Can't Hurt Me' falling out of the number one spot on the countdown since the CrayZ song I had displaced was still sticking in there at number two, but his song was listed at number three this week. Then I became worried about what had taken its place, or if my song had already fallen to second. 'Intuition' had only been on top for three weeks, and this would mark the third week that 'You Can't Hurt Me' would be on top if it had held the spot.
I sighed in relief when the number two song was announced. It wasn't mine.
"Who is Desdemona?" I asked with a confused look at Emily. She shrugged as we listened to the girl's song 'Daddy's Little Princess'. It started out much like my own songs did, but then she sang a few lines without any accompaniment before the song turned hard. That definitely wasn't what I had been expecting. Despite being a lot darker and more rock-like than what I usually listened to, I did like the song.
I started to fret slightly once the song was over and my own song started playing. Desdemona had a really good song, and I had no idea who she was. Was this the last week that I would be on top? I was slightly depressed at that thought as we moved on to other things. The music industry changed so quickly that I shouldn't expect to be able to hold the top spot for very long, but I couldn't help but want to hear my song again at the end of the countdown.
The rest of the afternoon was spent having fun and talking. When my family started showing up, I bid Emily farewell and turned my attention toward them.
"You look tired," Tracy told me after she had handed Heather to me and taken a seat next to me on Sarah's couch. Dad had decided he didn't want to hide Sarah's room from everyone, since it had another TV and couch to help keep people entertained. But I was worried enough that I figured I'd be spending most of my time in there keeping people from getting into my stuff. Everyone who came in appeared star-struck as they looked around, and of course they had to touch everything. I felt slightly violated as they pawed all of my things.
"I'm exhausted," I replied while making faces at Heather to make her laugh. She obliged with a gleeful giggle that warmed my heart and helped increase my energy reserves. "But Dad says it gets easier the more I do it."
We weren't alone in the room so we couldn't talk about last night's concert openly, but she still knew what I was referring to. Before we could say anything else, Katy came in and almost had a heart attack when she saw the room. I knew that she was a big fan, and she looked about as star-struck as anyone else I met while appearing as Sarah.
"I'm so excited for Thursday" Tracy said with a large smile on her face. "I've wanted to see her perform in person for a while now."
I smiled at her. "It should be a lot of fun," I said. "I just wish I could be there."
"You aren't going to be there?!" Katy asked, shocked. She came over and took a seat next to us.
"No," I replied, hoping that she would buy the cover story Dad and I had created. "I'm going to be one of Sarah's assistants, and I have to go get certified that night."
She remained shocked. I wasn't sure if it was because I was turning down going to a Sarah Carerra concert or because I was going to be one of her assistants. Probably both. Tracy started laughing at her reaction.
"Missing one concert seems like a small price to pay," I continued. Katy still looked speechless.
"That is so cool!" she screamed, making everyone look over at us. "I was just excited to meet her on Thursday. It would be so much more fun to work for her!"
I grimaced slightly. Most of the "meet and greet" passes for the OC Fair had gone to my family and friends, yet most of them didn't even know who Sarah really was. Interacting with them in a setting like that was not something that I was looking forward to. One mistake and the secret would be out. But they had asked Dad for the tickets, and I wanted them to have the chance to meet Sarah.
At some point I was going to have to tell Katy the truth. I already had some ideas on when I wanted to do that, but it wouldn't be at the concert. I was still worried about letting more people in on the secret, even if she was one of my favorite cousins.
The rest of the party wasn't too bad. We had a lot of fun talking about Sarah and her life. I managed to impart the things that Tracy wanted to hear while still keeping the secret intact. It was after the birthday cake had been cut that part of my world shattered, literally.
Katy, Tracy, and I were walking back to Sarah's room with our cake. Dad had told everyone that they could not bring food in the room, but I made an exception for my favorite cousins. As we approached the door I heard excited voices inside, followed by a sound that would haunt me for many days to come.
"I can't believe it's here!" I recognized the voice as Derek's. I had to assume that the other voice was Kyle's.
"I know," Kyle replied. "You'd think that she would keep it with her."
I immediately became worried and stepped toward the door just in time to see Derek raise a pick and bring it down against the strings of my guitar. The sound it emitted was hideous and wrong.
"What are you doing?!" I screamed at him! He jumped, startled at my yell, and I watched in horror as he lost his grip on my baby and it tumbled out of his hands toward the floor! He swore as he reached forward to try to stop the guitar's fall, but it caused him to lose his balance. The guitar hit the carpet face down, seemingly unharmed. But it continued to lay there as Derek took a step forward to stop his own fall and regain his balance. My poor baby was no match for his large foot, and the crunch I heard as he stepped on and broke through the back of the guitar was deafening to my ears.
I realized a moment later that the loud wail that was echoing around the room was coming from me as I felt my knees buckle and I fell to the floor. My cake tumbled to the carpet beside me.
Dad was there immediately, along with many other members of our family. He quickly grasped the situation and ordered everyone out of the room. Then he reached down and pulled me back to my feet. He wrapped his arms around me and I started sobbing into his shoulder. I loved that guitar! It was perfect! And now it was in pieces on my floor!
"Are you okay?" Katy asked while hovering just outside the door, unsure of why I had reacted the way I did. I couldn't respond to her, but I knew my reaction was totally out of character. It wasn't Megan's guitar that had been destroyed. But I couldn't hold back the tears that were streaming down my cheeks. It WAS my guitar!
"Sarah had just given Megan that guitar," Dad told her. Leave it to him to already be working to protect the secret. "It was very special to her."
I felt another set of arms around me as Dad passed me off to Mom, who directed me toward the couch and sat me down before pulling me into another hug. I vaguely saw Aunt Judy start to pick up my cake as Dad started to collect the pieces of my guitar from the floor and put them back into the case. I vaguely heard Uncle John yelling at Derek in another room. But none of it mattered. I had lost one of my precious babies! And I had a concert to perform in two days!
That was the end of the party. Katy had to go because her dad didn't want Derek there anymore, and I had to dry my eyes long enough to say goodbye to her and to Aunt Judy. My aunt hugged me closely in comfort. She knew my secret, so she knew how much this hurt. She apologized for her son's actions, but it still didn't help me feel any better.
I did not know how long I stayed on that couch. People came to say goodbye, but they all started to blur together in my grief. At some point Mom helped me change and get ready for bed, and it wasn't long before I was dead to the world.
The next day wasn't any better. It was a six hour drive up to Oakland, which meant we didn't even have time to go guitar shopping to find a replacement. I crashed into the hotel bed about as depressed as I had been the night before. I had hoped that I would be able to find a replacement on the morning of the concert, but between the interviews and other responsibilities that I had before the concert started, I didn't have time then either. When I took the stage for the sound check, I was holding an acoustic guitar that Jason had loaned to me. I felt off while singing and we had to replay a number of songs because the sound techs weren't happy with my singing.
I wasn't sure I even wanted to perform another concert anymore. That feeling persisted for much of the day. The band tried to raise my spirits. My family did the same. None of them were successful. It wasn't until I was squeezing the band's Carerra Bear during our pre-concert ritual that I started to feel the despair slowly withdraw from my system. I held onto that Bear for a long, long time, and eventually I became aware of comforting arms wrapped around me.
I knew Stephanie was going to kill me as I stood there hugging that bear; the tears sliding down my cheeks meant that she would probably have to touch up my makeup. But when I finally opened my eyes and passed the bear to Sophie, who along with Holly had been hugging me, I felt calm and collected as Stephanie touched me up. When we all placed our hands on the bear and yelled together, I actually felt happy. I wasn’t 100% yet, but I knew that I could perform for my fans. When I heard the introductory music that signaled the start of the concert intro, I felt the tingle of excitement start to flow throughout my body. When Stacy's drums and Connor’s bass opened the starting song, I felt the rush take over like it always did. Even if I didn't have my guitar, I had my fans to make this night wonderful.
"Are you having fun yet?" I yelled into the microphone after the first song had come to a conclusion. The crowd roared like I expected, and I knew that I was feeling the same thing. I WAS having fun too.
"Do you want to have more?" I yelled once they had calmed down a bit. They screamed loudly again. The Paramount Theatre was the smallest venue on the tour, seating slightly less than 3,000 people. But the noise those fans generated rivaled anywhere else I had performed as it reverberated around the small theatre that had been designed with acoustics in mind.
I smiled at their reaction. This day had started out terribly, but now there wasn't any other place I'd rather be.
"Welcome to the Intuition Tour," I told them and then the band launched straight into 'Intuition'. As I sang through the song that had started my career, I marveled once again at how the crowd sang along with me. 'Intuition' was the first song that I had released, and it was the first song that had topped the charts. Everyone seemed to know the words to at least the chorus, if the volume of the noise that accompanied me was any indication.
Intuition was a love song, of sorts. It talked about how I knew our relationship was meant to be when I had my guy next to me. It wasn't something I had written, since the record company had given me the song, but I hoped that I would get to "feel" what the song talked about someday. I hoped that I found someone who would love me for who I was, both Sarah and Megan together. But until that happened, I was content to sing the upbeat song for the crowd, and they were willing to listen.
They cheered again when the song came to its conclusion, and I stepped over to the side of the stage to where a water bottle was waiting for me. After rehydrating my throat, I returned to the middle to continue the concert.
This next part had been something that I requested to have included. The people I worked with were very important to me, and I wanted to give them the recognition they deserved.
"I want to introduce you to some very important people before we continue," I said into the mic when the crowd’s screaming had died down somewhat. I knew that I was pictured on the big screen behind me, and I could even see the small red light indicating where the camera was. We had a number of them around the theatre to help display my image on the big screen when there wasn't some special effect accompanying my performance on it.
I saw the image on the big screen change to include the entire band as I turned around and started walking the few feet to where Jason was standing.
"Give it up for the band, 'Pop Fly'!" I yelled as I clapped, garnering the cheer I had hoped to get for the band. They all had huge smiles on their faces at the recognition they were receiving. When I reached Jason, I turned back to the crowd.
"Jason Olson, band leader and lead guitar," I said. I knew that a close up of him was being shown on the screen behind me, and I watched as he took a short bow before playing a quick riff on his guitar. The fans cheered just as hard for him as they did for me, and he totally deserved it.
I then stepped over to where Connor was standing. "Connor Christiansen, bass guitar," I told the crowd. He too took a bow and played a small solo before receiving the same response that the crowd had given to Jason.
I had to chuckle at the lopsided smile that Connor had on his face as I moved as close to Stacy as I could. He was on a slightly raised platform, and I could just barely see his head over his drums while standing this close. "Stacy Miller, drums," I introduced him. He stood up and bowed before taking a seat on his stool again and launching into his own solo. The crowd didn't disappoint him either.
As he was playing, I made my way over to where the girls were standing. I stepped between them and pulled them both into a small three-way hug for a short moment before introducing them. "These two girls are as talented as I am, yet for some reason they don't want to take the spotlight." There was some laughter from the crowd for a moment before I could continue. "Sophie Lund and Holly Anderson," I introduced them. I left them to bask in the roar of the crowd as I stepped back to center stage.
"I couldn't do what I do without these wonderful people," I explained. "Not only are they the best band to work with, they are also accomplished songwriters themselves. This next song is one they wrote for me, and I'm proud to be able to sing it in their honor. I'm not the same person that I was when I met them. No, they've made me a 'Different Girl'."
I launched into the song immediately with almost a scream. It definitely wasn't something I normally did in my music, but this also wasn't one of my normal songs. It toned down a bit once the band started playing, but it still continued to be a heavier sound, even though I would still classify it as pop music.
Despite the heavier undertones to the song, it had a really good message. It talked about how this industry could change someone, and in fact had some lines about the changes that the band had observed in me. When I had first heard the song, I was shocked to realize how much I had changed since putting on the wig for the first time. The song talked about the confidence that had grown in me. It talked about the pride I took in my work. It talked about the way I fell in love with every fan whom I met. The strong beat and quick rhythm had many people on their feet bouncing around with the dancers and me on the stage. I enjoyed watching them have a blast as I continued to sing and move through the choreography.
This was one of the hardest songs for me to sing well. It required a lot of breath, and between the fast lyrics and quick dance steps I often ended the song out of breath. Tonight was no exception, because I was panting and doing my best to replenish my oxygen levels as the crowd roared at the end. This song wasn't on my album and it hadn't been played on the radio, so this was the first time that many of them had heard it. But it sounded like it was well-received.
As the lights on the stage dropped to bring us into near darkness to prepare for the next song, I took another deep breath and turned to get into position. Sophie and Holly were right there. Jason and the band weren't much farther away. I realized then how important they were in my performances.
I was still sad about what had happened Sunday night, but I realized that it wasn't the end of the world. As long as I had these wonderful people on the stage with me, it didn't matter what guitar I played. I wasn't sure that we would be able to find a proper replacement for my broken guitar, but I knew that it wouldn't matter.
It was the people who were important.
Once again I was exhausted as I boarded the bus late that night. I knew that I would be sleeping most of the next day if I was going to be ready for the OC Fair on Thursday. One day wasn't a lot of time to recover, but I knew that some artists played back to back performances. I couldn't imagine doing something like that, but I was sure it was something that I would learn how to do from first-hand experience.
After changing into something that I could sleep in for the ride back home, I was ready to slide into bed when there was a knock on the door to my room. I opened it to find Dad standing there. I let him in and then closed the door behind me to keep from bothering Austin, whose bunk was right outside. I could already hear him softly snoring.
"How are you doing?" Dad asked me while I sat down on the bed. He leaned against the dresser.
"I'm okay," I said. "Exhausted again, but okay."
He chuckled slightly before he spoke. "I think you are always going to be exhausted after a show," he said. "You try to give the fans everything you have, and that is going to make you feel drained. But that is also one of your biggest strengths. I'll let you sleep in tomorrow, but we'll need to replace your guitar in the afternoon."
I sighed. I really didn't want to go guitar shopping again. I had really loved my guitar, and now it was still sitting in pieces on a table in Sarah's room. I couldn’t bring myself to throw it out, and Dad had obliged my desire to leave it there.
I nodded to let him know that I would go. Despite my desire not to, I did need a guitar. Perhaps I should even find a couple of them in case something like this ever happened again.
"We've also got an appointment with your principal on Friday," Dad told me. I sat up stiffly at that information.
"Why?" I asked suspiciously. Principal Hall had proven to be a friend at the end of the school year, but I still remembered how mad he had been at me before that.
"We need someone whom we can work with at your school," he said. "You'll miss some days because of your career, and he can help us make sure that you get everything done that you need to without telling the entire school why you are gone."
"You're going to tell him the secret?!" I nearly screamed. How could Dad even trust him with that information after the way he had acted? I certainly didn't want him to know!
"He's a good guy, Megan," Dad explained calmly. "I've been talking and working with him on a few things, and I trust him. He'll do the right thing and help make sure that the school year goes smoothly for you. I promise."
I wasn't sure that I believed him, but I nodded reluctantly. It was apparent that Dad had already made up his mind on this issue, and I wasn't likely going to be able to change it.
Dad kissed me on the forehead before heading for the door. All I could do is hope that everything would work out okay as he closed the door behind him.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Hear the songs that inspired this piece of the concert at sarahcarerra.com
Special Thanks
I have to give a special thanks to Faeriemage for letting me use Desdemona during this chapter. If you haven't read it yet, check out 12-String now.
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Joe asked me to sit down in a chair while he walked over to a wall of guitars. There was a large crowd of people looking on now, while he pointed to a large red guitar that was hanging on the wall.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.43 - Sparkle by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: July 4, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.43 - Sparkle
Dad awakened me just before lunch the next morning. The extra sleep had been great, and I almost felt ready to perform again. I knew that another night's sleep would do me a lot of good for tomorrow's concert. It would be one of my most important concerts, since so many people I knew would be there.
I took a shower to help wake me up. Then I ate the sandwich that my mom had made for me before I could even contemplate what Dad wanted me to do.
Derek had definitely rattled my world Sunday night. Now that the excitement and the rush from the concert were no longer burning through my system, I felt slightly depressed and disappointed again. It wasn't nearly as bad as it had been before I realized that all I really needed were my fans and the band, but I was still depressed when I climbed into the seat of Dad's car.
I thought Dad would have been mad because I needed to buy a new guitar. We had spent a lot of Sarah's money on the last guitar, and Derek had flushed that all down the drain. I had a feeling that a replacement guitar was going to be a lot more expensive, since I had the funds to purchase something really good now. But he seemed to be excited about our excursion instead.
We drove in silence back to Joe's Music Shop, where I had purchased the last guitar. I followed silently behind my dad as we stepped into the store, and then tried to put on a happy face as I signed autographs and took pictures with a number of people who were shopping in the store, but who had rushed toward me when I entered. After I had interacted with each of them Dad led me back toward the guitars, with most of the fans following us.
"Don!" a guy I had never met before greeted as we approached. He was tall and lanky, but had a friendly demeanor. "Welcome back!" That definitely surprised me, and was my first inkling that something was going on that I wasn't aware of. Then the guy turned toward me. "Sarah, it is so nice to finally meet you. My name is Joe, and I'm the owner of this little store."
I felt a small chuckle escape my lips as I took his outstretched hand. This was not a small store, and it looked like Joe did good business, if his expensive-looking clothes were any indication.
"It's nice to meet you, Joe," I said. "I wish it was under better circumstances, though."
It was Joe's turn to chuckle for a moment, which confirmed my assumption that Dad had already talked to him about what I needed.
"I think that you will find this whole ordeal to be a good thing, Sarah," he said with a smile that made it hard not to believe him. I didn't know how losing my guitar could be equated to a good thing, but I nodded anyway.
Joe asked me to sit down in a chair while he walked over to a wall of guitars. There was a large crowd of people looking on now, while he pointed to a large red guitar that was hanging on the wall. The slight frown that crossed my face was enough to answer his question, because he moved to the next one. That red guitar was really ugly. The second guitar was a black one with a blue starburst. It looked pretty good, but I just didn't have the same desire to own it that I'd had with the one that had been destroyed.
The third one was the first one he pulled off the wall. It was entirely black, and reminded me almost too much of what I had lost. But it gleamed in the lights of the store, and I actually felt excited to play it. He brought it over to me and carefully placed it in my hands.
"I'm only showing you Taylor guitars today," Joe told me. "Taylor is our specialty, and your manager was very intrigued at what they could offer. This particular one is..." I stopped paying attention once he started to get into the specifics. All I knew was that it felt very good in my hands, almost better than the Yamaha that I had lost. I could feel the tips of my mouth curl up as I wrapped my left hand around the neck.
With some trepidation I strummed the guitar for the first time. The sound that filled the area was very melodic, and I felt it cut deep into my heart. My last guitar had been a great guitar, but it had never sounded like this one. The slightly larger body and different shape combined to provide a much richer sound.
In keeping with tradition I launched into 'Ever After', playing through the first verse without any words before accompanying myself in the second. I really liked the way this guitar sounded, and it felt much better than my old guitar.
When I finished, and while the fans started clapping, I had a large smile on my face that Joe recognized immediately. "I thought you'd like that one," he said while taking it from me carefully and placing it on a counter. "This will make an excellent backup guitar. Now, if you'll excuse me for a moment, I'll go get Sparkle."
I was completely confused. I didn't know what he was talking about, and I saw a sly grin on his face as he stepped behind the counter and walked through a door into the back of the store. I turned to Dad, who shared the same sly grin. Now I knew for sure that things were not how they seemed - Dad had something up his sleeve.
"What's going on?" I asked him.
He looked at me for a moment trying to hold on to the secret, but he was too excited. He couldn't contain it anymore. "I commissioned a custom-built guitar for you," he said excitedly. "I wanted to present it to you when I showed you the bus, but it wasn't ready in time. I really wanted to tell you about it on Sunday night, but you were so upset that I felt it wasn’t the right time."
"This is why you weren't too worried about what Derek did?" I asked him, realizing that he had never shown any anger at the events of earlier this week. The only feelings he'd shown me were worry and care for my feelings.
"It is," he replied. "You are going to love this guitar, Sarah. Your old one would have been a fond memory, and it still can be."
Before I could respond, Joe reappeared carrying a white guitar case. He stepped up to the counter, gently placed the case next to the guitar I had just picked out, and motioned me over. I stood up and walked to the counter.
"The guys who worked on making this guitar nicknamed it Sparkle," he said while stepping back to give me room to open the case. "It looks fantastic, and I can't wait to hear how it sounds."
Slowly I reached out and undid the clasps holding the case closed. Then I took a deep breath before slowly lifting the lid.
I gasped.
All thoughts of the guitar that had been destroyed Sunday night left my mind as I gazed upon the wonder that had been placed before me. It spoke to me like no other instrument had. It called to me to pick it up and play. I was in love immediately.
The top wood was very light in color, and it immediately reminded me of the inside of my bus. It had that same gamut of white and creamy beige with a hint of the soft yellow that caught my eye so well when I stepped into the bus. The body was a dark brown, matching the hardwood floor and leather that adorned the couches and seats. The neck matched the body in color and had an inlay of some flowers and a small bird at the base with a number of similar flowers spaced evenly up the fretboard with another small flower adorning the head. The rosette around the sound hole and the binding around the edge of the front of the guitar had a small strip of some material that glinted in the light, sparkling across my vision in pinks and whites. I knew immediately that this feature was what gave the guitar its nickname.
Just below the bridge, angled to where it would be readable while I played, was my name in the form of the logo that had been created for me. I ran my fingers across the top to find it smooth with the soundboard, but the paint or stain they had used to place it there had a glitter or sparkle that also added to the nickname of the guitar.
I reverently reached in and lifted the guitar out of the case, garnering a few intakes of breaths from the crowd that was still gathered behind me. Flashes of cameras went off immediately, but I didn't take my eyes off the beautiful piece of craftsmanship in my hands.
I turned it over a few times, taking in every inch of the guitar. It was the most beautiful guitar I had ever seen! With practiced ease I slipped the strap over my head and then walked back over to the chair I had been sitting in. I swiveled in the chair and turned to face the crowd. Dad and Joe moved to where they could see me better as I smiled at all of the people who had stopped their own shopping to watch mine.
"You guys want to hear the first song played on this beautiful guitar?" I asked. The reply was a resounding “yes”, with a number of cheers thrown in for good measure.
'Ever After' would have been a very appropriate song to play for them again. But my heart was somewhere else at the moment, and I christened Sparkle with the notes of 'My Hero'.
The song had a nice intro that let me hear the guitar before I had to start singing, and I was amazed immediately. I thought that the other guitar I had picked out had an excellent sound, but Sparkle had a quality to it that was ten times better. The tones that danced from my fingers were so rich and meaningful that I knew Dad must have spared no expense on this guitar.
Once I finished playing, there was some clapping from the crowd and I smiled while standing up and replaced the guitar in its case. Then I turned to Dad and Joe who were waiting patiently.
"It's perfect!" I exclaimed! It didn't take long before they shared my enthusiasm, and I left the two of them to settle the bill while I turned to interact with the fans once again.
The guitar that I had lost this week would forever hold a place dear in my heart. Sparkle wouldn't be able to replace the guitar that I'd had in my hands during my first concert. But it certainly did a good job of diverting my attention, and I couldn't ask for a better guitar to fill the hole that Derek had created in my heart.
After we got home I spent the rest of the day getting to know Sparkle. If I was going to be playing it on stage tomorrow, I wanted to make sure that I was comfortable with it. Besides, I just couldn't get enough of hearing the wonderful music that it was capable of creating.
Dad, Mom, Austin, and even Emily and Ethan all made appearances during the music marathon I created. I was restless during dinner as I wanted to get back to playing more music. I was starting to feel worn out again when Dad finally convinced me to head for bed. I had some interviews in the morning, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay up playing like I wanted to.
I truly felt happy for the first time since Derek had shattered my life.
The next morning was a whirlwind of activity as usual. It started with a number of radio interviews for stations in the L.A. area in the morning, a short appearance on a local morning show shortly afterward, and it finished with a small ‘meet and greet’ with a few fans who had won a contest from one of the stations. I returned back home shortly before lunch.
Mom made me a sandwich, and after quickly eating I was once again in Dad's car as we headed for the bus, which we would be riding in for the trip down to the fairgrounds. It was a 50-mile trip down the 405 to reach the Pacific Amphitheatre, but traffic made it take nearly an hour and a half.
Eventually we arrived, and Eddie masterfully placed the bus among the many other vehicles that were required to transport the gear and people needed to put on one of my shows.
The whirlwind then continued with the sound check and meeting with a few of the fair organizers. It was during that meeting that I learned they wanted me to make an appearance at the actual fair. Apparently Amy had organized it, but both Dad and my security guys were upset that they hadn't been informed. Poor Amy looked like she was going to have a heart attack as we climbed into a golf cart that would take us to where we were supposed to go. I sat in the front seat and Amy and Mason climbed onto the back seat. The driver took off immediately.
"Don't worry about it," I turned and told Amy. She was still distressed about not telling everyone. My words didn't seem to do anything to alleviate her worry that she had done something wrong.
"It's okay, Amy," Mason added to our conversation. "We don't like surprises about her security, but this isn't something we can't handle. Just inform us next time so we can be ready. You didn't do anything wrong."
Amy nodded, but she still looked like she was afraid that she was about to be beheaded. I had to turn around to hide the broad smile that was beginning to form on my face. She was new to managing a client like me, but she was learning quickly. She was good at it, and I wouldn't want anyone else taking care of me like she was. Not even Dad had put so much effort into managing my career.
We continued the trip in silence for a bit before the driver pulled up to a small tent near the Amphitheatre. There was a small group of people huddled at the entrance, and they started to scream excitedly when they caught sight of me.
The next hour comprised a third whirlwind of activity as I met with some lucky fans who had been in the right place at the right time. I had hoped to have more time with my family or with those fans who had All-Access passes, but that didn't seem to be the case today. By the time we were in the golf cart and were heading back to my dressing room, I was ready to take a short nap.
"Stop!" I yelled to our driver before we made it back to the backstage area. I had seen someone I wanted to talk to.
The golf cart screeched to a stop, and everyone looked over at us, including the person I had seen. "Tracy!" I yelled over the crowd between us and her. Her face lit up immediately and I beckoned her my way. She started to push through the crowd immediately, with Heather in her arms and Katy at her heels. I hadn't realized that Katy was with her, but it was too late to do anything about it now.
"Hi, Sarah," Tracy greeted me once she had made her way through the crowd. I stepped out of the cart, which caused Mason to jump off the backseat and hurry to my side. But I paid him no attention as I reached out to take Heather into my arms. Tracy obliged, and I cooed at Heather a moment before she broke out in laughter followed by a large smile. "We were just on our way to see if we could see you."
"Well, hop on," I said and motioned to the already crowded golf cart. "We'll give you a ride." I then turned to Katy, who was staring at me with wide eyes. She still didn't look like she had recognized me, but the fact that I was talking casually with her cousin and the fact that Tracy hadn't even hesitated to hand me Heather had obviously confused her. "Hi, Katy," I said.
I didn't believe her eyes could get even wider, but they did. "You know who I am?" she asked incredulously.
"Well sure," I replied with a bit of humor in my voice. "I'm the best friend you never knew you had, remember?" I said, referring to the way I had signed her CD earlier in the summer. Tracy broke out in laughter, but Katy just stared at me, now totally confused. "I know Megan pretty well," I tried to explain. "We've met a few times over the years."
Katy shook her head, like she didn't believe it. I didn't blame her, since it was a white lie on my part. But I knew Dad would kill me if I let her in on the secret now. I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to keep it from her for much longer, but I knew that now was not the proper time to bring her into the fold. This would be a perfect opportunity to practice my deception in front of family, however. I gestured to the golf cart and we all crammed aboard once again, to the chagrin of the driver. It was a much slower trip back to my dressing room, but we eventually made it.
Dad and Mom were waiting for us, and Dad looked surprised at who I had brought back with me. He gave me a questioning look, and I shook my head subtly to let him know I had not told Katy anything.
"Hi, Don," I said to play up the deception. "I found some of your family."
Dad promptly chuckled before he greeted them kindly.
"What are you girls up to?" he asked. Clearly he was worried about me spending time with them, or at least spending time with Katy. The more time we spent together, the more likely it was that she would figure out what I was hiding from her, or at the very least she might realize that I WAS hiding something.
"I thought they might want to see the bus," I replied. Most people seemed to get a kick out of seeing it, and I doubted my cousins would be any different. There was still a little over an hour before Poptastic took the stage, so I didn't need to entertain them long before they'd have to go find their seats, and touring the bus seemed like a good option to keep Katy distracted from the truth. Besides, I knew that Tracy would want to see it, and I also had something else that I wanted to show her on board.
"Okay," he replied. "But have them back soon so they can find their seats. I nodded to him, and handed Heather back to Tracy before grabbing my guitar case and leading them out of the dressing room and down the hall toward where we could find my bus. They were right behind me, and when they caught sight of the bus I could feel the anticipation in the air.
The door was open, and Eddie was sitting in the driver's seat doing some kind of paperwork. He smiled and greeted me as I led my cousins up into the bus.
"Welcome to my tour bus," I said theatrically while they got their first glimpse. It was obvious that they were really impressed and I let them wander around for a while. Eventually they even made it back to the bedroom.
"Is that a picture of Megan and her family?" Katy asked, confused. She was pointing to the small picture of my family that was hidden among the many others in the display case in the bedroom.
"Yes," I replied. "I told you that I know her pretty well, and these are pictures of the people I hold dear in my life. The band, my friends, and my manager and his family."
"What about your own family?" she asked as she continued to scan the pictures. I could hear the curiosity in her voice, and I knew that we were treading into dangerous waters.
"My family has opted to stay out of the spotlight," I told her, and tried to mock frown my disappointment. That seemed to be enough of an answer for her, but Tracy decided to help reinforce my point.
"Her mom is a really nice lady," Tracy said. "That's how I know Sarah. I can also understand why she doesn't want to bring the rest of her family into the spotlight that her daughter enjoys."
I nodded to emphasize her point, and we thankfully turned away from the photos and headed back toward the front of the bus. Nothing that Tracy had said was a lie, but I didn't want Katy to dwell on it more than she needed to.
"What did you want to show us?" Tracy asked as we sat down in the seats at the front near the fireplace.
"This," I said and picked up my guitar case. "I understand Derek destroyed the guitar I gave to Megan. But I thought I'd let you see what I replaced it with before I use it on stage for the first time tonight."
They both looked excited at that prospect, and there was an extra meaningful look from Tracy when she realized what I really meant. She knew how much the guitar Derek had destroyed meant to me, and now she was keenly interested in learning what I had replaced it with.
I opened the case and pulled out Sparkle. It seemed like such a dumb name for a guitar, but it fit so well I couldn't call it anything else. I placed it on my lap to allow my cousins to get a good look at it. "What do you think?" I asked them.
"You don't do anything halfway, do you?" Tracy said with a slight chuckle. I laughed at her statement.
"Don actually commissioned this guitar for me a while ago," I explained. "It's only a slight upgrade," I said wryly.
Tracy immediately laughed. She too played the guitar, and she was eyeing Sparkle with an eye that told me she understood how well-built and expensive it was.
"I just feel bad for Megan," Katy added. "I mean, if you gave me a guitar and my brother smashed it, I probably would have killed him."
I nodded at the look of concern she had on her face. I'd certainly had those feelings in the time since the party. But even if Derek hadn't smashed my guitar, it would have been retired this week. There was no way that I would continue to use it when Sparkle could give me such a rich, vibrant sound. The only thing he had really done was to take away having something physical to remember it by.
"Don has assured me that Megan will be well treated to a new guitar," I told her. I knew that the black one that I had purchased as a backup would suffice for the times that I couldn't play Sarah's guitar. That included any time when I got to play for people who only knew me as Megan. Having two distinct guitars would also help to sell the secret, since we wouldn't both be playing the same guitar.
Before they had to go, I spent the rest of the time playing a few songs for them and generally having fun with them. By the time I walked them back to my dressing room, I was amazed at how easily I had fooled Katy. She was the cousin I was closest to on Mom's side of the family; yet not once had she suspected the truth about who I really was during the time we had spent together. Instead, she just seemed to be awestruck the whole time that she could hang out with one of her idols.
If nothing else, it gave me hope that I'd be able to keep the secret when I met with all of my friends and family backstage after the concert.
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What was really worrying me was the thought of spending all of that time in the presence of friends and family who didn't know the truth about me. I only knew them as Megan, yet they were here to meet Sarah.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.44 - The OC Fair by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: July 11, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.44 - The OC Fair
I could feel Sophie's and Holly's shoulders pressed against my back as we waited in the dark for the music to start. This was one of my favorite segments of the concert, and I couldn't wait to perform it for my friends and family.
I heard a small click in my earpiece indicating that everyone was ready and in place, and I took a deep breath to prepare. I felt Holly and Sophie tense up at my reaction, and the three of us started to sing the unaccompanied opening lines to 'Super Trouper' while still ensconced in the darkness. A spotlight shone on us soon after as we continued to sing, heads looking toward the sky. Then as the music started up, the stage burst into a multitude of colored lights as I stepped forward while Sophie and Holly took a few steps back. The dancers were on the stage dancing along with us as I started singing the main part of the song.
Kate had taken a lot of inspiration from the Broadway show and had given us very theatrical choreography that was actually a lot of fun to perform. It didn't take too long before many of the fans were dancing along with us. Having the crowd involved certainly made the concerts a lot more fun, and this song was no exception. Everyone was laughing after the song had come to an end, just like they had at my previous two concerts. It didn't matter how many times I performed that song, it was fun every single time.
The lights came back up and I took a small sip of water from my water bottle before speaking to the crowd again.
"Thank you for joining in the fun," I told them sincerely. "Being able to perform for all of you is one of the best experiences of my life. I can't get enough of it. Truthfully, I always have the time of 'My Life'."
I briefly pulled my microphone away from my mouth as Stacy gave us a nice, heavy beat from his drums. Jason joined him with his electric guitar a few seconds later. Then Connor joined in with the two of them as I started to sing the song that best captured the feelings that I'd felt after my very first concert. This was not the best song that I had written, but I always had butterflies flying around in my stomach at the memories that the song invoked. Even after performing many times since, I'd never forget the night of my first concert.
I sang through the first verse, which described my feelings before the concert. It talked about all of the crazy excitement that came with learning the songs, learning the choreography, and getting up on stage. Then the song ramped up into a faster paced chorus that described part of the rush I always felt, and about how much it drove me to continue.
Then we repeated with a second verse about some of the things I had realized at the concert: how great the fans are, how amazing it is to be able to perform for them, and how great it felt to be up on that stage.
After the second chorus the song took on a slightly subdued feeling as I talked about the feelings that had overwhelmed me later that night back in the hotel room, when I sat there and stared out the window on a sleepy Salt Lake City with Emily at my side. That was followed by a soft section that only played a soft melody that was rather peaceful before we launched back into the chorus for the final time.
The rush overwhelmed me as the song came to a close. Not only was the crowd feeding it with their cheers, but the thoughts and feelings of that night came flooding back to me, just like it had every time I performed or listened to this song.
I took a moment to let the crowd settle as I tried to bring myself back to the moment. Then I addressed the crowd once again.
"This next song talks about fears," I said. "The first time I took the stage, I was scared to death. But fans just like you helped me to realize just how much fun it can be. But I had to overcome that fear to get to where I am today. The same was true for one of my friends, who is here tonight."
I turned slightly and looked straight at Paul. My family and friends had great seats in the fifth and sixth rows right in front of me, and I could see Paul's eyes widen in fright as he realized what I was doing.
"This young man," I said, "has overcome a lot in his life to be here. Thanks for being an inspiration to me, Paul. Thanks for being ‘Fearless’."
He shrunk down in his seat immediately as I said his name. People were looking around to identify who I was looking at, but for the most part he remained inconspicuous to those who weren't immediately around him. I didn't wait though, and launched straight into the song with only Jason's guitar accompanying me.
As I sang through the words that made up the majority of the chorus, I watched as Paul raised his head to listen. Then the rest of the band joined in with a crash of the drums for a moment before we settled into the first verse. I talked about how amazed I was to find myself in the public spotlight. I sung about how none of what had happened was something I had been searching for in my life. Then we launched into the chorus that talked about how scared I was at what was happening to me, but it also talked about how I was doing my best to overcome those fears and press on.
This was a very upbeat, fun song to sing, and Kate’s choreography played on that. Once again many of the fans were on their feet dancing along with us as I continued to sing about overcoming fears in life to accomplish the things that were placed before me. This song had yet to be released to the public, but the crowd’s reaction at each concert proved that it was going to be a popular one.
As the song came to a close and the crowd roared again, I basked in the spotlight for a moment before staring at Paul. He had one of the biggest, goofiest smiles I had ever seen plastered across his face. I felt a similar smile creep across my face. When the lights went dark and the large screen lit up with a small video about the band and me talking about our experiences this summer, I turned and hurried off the stage. I only had 45 seconds to perform my first costume change, and there was no margin for error.
I was starting to get really nervous as I changed out of my last costume and into the outfit that I would be wearing when I would be spending time with my fans. It was a simple, white dress that had only a small flourish of gold along the right side to provide the Glam. But it wasn't the dress that made me nervous; I had worn much tighter and more revealing clothes before. What was really worrying me was the thought of spending all of that time in the presence of friends and family who didn't know the truth about me. I only knew them as Megan, yet they were here to meet Sarah.
This afternoon with Katy had proven that I could deceive even my closest friends and family, but that didn't make me worry any less. It only took one wrong step or one errant comment to clue them in. I would constantly have to be on my toes to prevent anyone from learning the secret. And because there were also fans who were going to be backstage that I didn't know personally, having anyone find out here would be detrimental.
I slipped on the heels that Julia had provided me with and let Stephanie touch up my makeup. Then I stepped outside my dressing room to find Dad and Amy waiting for me. Mason and Cole were also nearby. When Dad caught sight of me, he started laughing.
"Don't worry about it, Princess," he whispered quietly. "They'll see what they want to see. Just act normally and we'll get through this just fine."
"I hope so," I replied as we turned and started walking toward the area where everyone was waiting for me to join the backstage party. Earlier I had sung about overcoming my fears, but with every step closer I felt my trepidation grow and grow. I knew that Dad was right, and that I could get through this without giving away the secret, but that knowledge wasn't enough to keep me from having to apply ‘Fearless’ to my life once more to help me overcome my fears.
As I stepped through the door, though, my nerves left immediately. The very first person I saw had the same smile on her face that always helped to put me at ease whenever I was talking with her. It had the exact same effect on me now, and I smiled in relief.
"Mary!" I greeted her excitedly and gave her a friendly hug. "I'm so glad you made it!"
She looked slightly shocked at my reaction, but she hugged me back briefly before replying. "Thank you for the tickets," she said before turning my attention to the young girls at her side. "These are my daughters, Isabel and Andrea."
"Hi!" I greeted each of them with a hug like I had their mother. Isabel appeared to be around 12, and Andrea had to be at least 10. They eagerly hugged me back. "You have an amazing mother," I told them.
The two girls seemed to be in awe of me, and were having trouble finding their voices. They just nodded in agreement for a moment. When it became apparent that they weren't going to say anything right away, I turned back to my therapist.
"I wish you guys would have come by earlier," I told her. "I've got a present for your girls on my bus."
Mary opened her mouth, likely to refuse the need for gifts, but Amy spoke up first.
"I'll go get them," Amy said, smiling. I hadn't talked to her about the gifts before, but she held her hands out in about the size of the Carerra Bears for confirmation, and I nodded at her before she took off to get them.
"I need three of them!" I called after her, and saw her nod again as she continued out of the room.
I didn't get to spend much more time with Mary and her daughters, as there were many people who wanted to meet me in the room. But I had them promise me they wouldn't leave until after Amy came back. Then I was mingling through the crowd, trying to say 'Hi' to everyone as I passed.
As I greeted the various members of my family, it was apparent that they had no inkling of who I really was. Just like Dad had said, they only saw what they wanted to see. They saw a young pop star in front of them, so there was no way they could connect Sarah with the girl they had met earlier in the summer. I was amazed at how easy it was to deceive them.
As much as I would have preferred to talk to some of my extended family, I didn't get a chance to spend any more time with them than I had Mary and her girls. The number of people backstage at this concert was much larger than any of my other performances because we had given so many passes to family, and I wanted to make sure that everyone, both family and other fans, got a chance to meet and talk to me. I couldn't help it. I had to try to please all of them.
But even so, there were still some people who I had to take a longer time with. The first was when I came to Katy and her family. Katy, fortunately, knew of my time limitations and we only had a short greeting since we'd spent so much time earlier. Her mom, however, deserved to have more.
Aunt Judy knew the truth. By the look of excitement on her face I knew that spending too much time around her would be a bad idea, since she was radiating pride and excitement that she usually reserved for her own family. I had to be very careful because nobody else knew that she was really my aunt. We talked vaguely for a bit, but she stayed reserved enough not to cause any problems. Uncle John was intrigued to meet me, but as he didn't know the truth it wasn't much more than my interactions with any other fathers of my fans.
Derek, however, was awestruck. He couldn't stop staring at me, which made me really uncomfortable. This was the same cousin who had thrown up earlier this summer for staring at me like he was now. I started to feel slightly sick myself at his attention, but there wasn't anything I could do to stop it without giving away my secret. However, there was something that I could do to make myself feel better.
"It's nice to meet you, Derek," I told him after we had shaken hands. He had held my hand almost reverently, but he glanced up to meet my eyes as I spoke. "I understand you are the one who smashed the guitar I gave to Megan?"
The horror that crossed his face at those words definitely elated me. I coyly smiled as I continued, because I was having too much fun to keep a straight face.
"I hope you apologized to her," I told him. "That guitar was very special to me."
"I'm so sorry!" he started groveling. "It was an accident!"
He looked so stricken that he had disappointed me that I couldn't keep up my fun anymore. As much as I wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt me, I knew that I couldn't do that to him. I'd had my fun, but I didn't want to torture him.
"It's okay, Derek," I told him. "Just be careful of other people's things in the future."
"I will. I promise!" he said, and I knew he meant it. I smiled and signed the poster he had brought with him before I moved on.
Amy caught up to me at that moment, carrying a box that had the bears inside. I thanked her and waved Mary over to me. It was much easier for her to come to me then for me to make it through the crowd back to her. She and her daughters started pushing through the crowded room and I turned to sign a few more autographs as I waited. Once they arrived I took two of the bears from the box.
"These are special bears for my most special fans," I told the two girls while handing them the bears. I could see and hear some jealousy from the crowd around us, but I didn't care. I got to decide who these bears went to - nobody else. "Remember them when you need someone or something to hug, okay?"
Mary's daughters clutched the bears tightly while nodding. I wished I could talk to them more about the bears, but I knew I was already going to be meeting with fans a lot longer than I normally did, and I was already exhausted from the concert. If I was going to get to bed at some point before the sun rose, I needed to keep moving. We said our goodbyes for a second time, and I was once again moving through the crowd.
I almost wished that we could have these backstage meet and greets before the concert, when I wasn't so tired. But the elation and the excitement that each fan brought after a concert was ten times greater, and ten times more fun to experience. As tired as I was, I wouldn't want it any other way.
Emily and her family were next. It was pretty cool meeting her parents as Sarah, since they knew who I really was. But the elation on Anna's face at finally meeting me was what I really cherished. She was such a great girl, and I felt bad that she was being kept out of this part of my life. But there were still things I could do to show her how much I appreciated her.
"I understand you were sad because you couldn’t come to Salt Lake City," I said to her after she had finished squealing with excitement. She frowned and nodded silently. "Well, Megan and Emily have told me how awesome you are. I have something special for you to make up for it. Would you like that?"
She nodded again, grinning this time, and I turned to Amy who handed me the last of the Carerra Bears.
"Do you recognize this?" I asked Anna. Her face lit up immediately as she took the bear from me.
"It's just like Megan's!" she said excitedly, and louder than I wanted her to. I didn't need people knowing that Megan had a bear like this.
"It is," I replied. "Megan and I both have bears like this on our beds. They are there for us whenever we need to hug something. This one is yours, and now you can be just like us, okay?"
She beamed as she nodded once more, and I wrapped her in a hug to show her how much I cared. I still couldn't tell her the truth, but at least she was now a part of this world.
Ethan and his family were next. His mom was surprised that his sister was more excited to meet me than he was, since it was well known in their household that he had a crush on Sarah. But since they didn't know the truth, they had no idea that he had already spent a lot of time with me.
The last people I was able to meet and spend time with were Paul's family. I had watched him as I moved around the room, and he had continuously pulled his family around the room so he could avoid me. I knew he hoped that he didn't have to interact with me at all, so when I saw them turning to leave, I made sure to intercept them before he could get away.
They were about to walk out the door when he looked over his shoulder for one last glance, and almost gasped to find me right behind him.
"Hi, Paul," I said, and I couldn't help but smile at the shriek he emitted as his surprise caught up with him. "Leaving so soon?"
"I just...I just..." he was struggling to speak. If I thought he had been scared of girls before, this must have been his worst nightmare! I had never seen him look so nervous and scared before.
"It's okay," I said and reached out and took hold of his hand. "I'm not going to bite."
Paul's dad started laughing, which didn't help his son's composure, but I ignored him to keep Paul focused on calming down. It took a moment, but I could see him relax as he realized I wasn't going to cause him to die.
That's when he looked me in the eyes.
That's when he really freaked out.
I knew instantly what had happened! I had managed to deceive my entire extended family! I had managed to deceive my closest cousin! But one look in my eyes was all it took for Paul to see through my secret!
He opened his mouth to speak, and I did the only thing I could. I clamped my hand over his lips while looking around nervously. His parents were staring at us now, wondering what was going on.
I still heard "Megan" escape his mouth around my hand, but it was quiet enough that I was pretty sure no one else had heard it. I REALLY hoped nobody else had heard it!
"Not here!" I hissed quietly. This was about the worst thing that could happen! I'd had no desire for Paul to find out the truth! He needed someone like Sarah to look up to! He had feelings for her that I couldn't reciprocate! I did NOT want to deal with this! But now I had no choice!
More words flew from his mouth, garbled by the hand I still held there. Thankfully, he quickly realized what I was doing and quieted down. I hesitantly removed my hand, worried that he would scream the secret out for everyone in the room to hear.
But he didn't. He just stared at me, mouth agape as he struggled with the knowledge that I didn't want him to know.
"I'm sorry, Paul," I said. There was so much more I wanted to tell him, but most of the people in the room were looking at us, and I knew that this was the moment of truth for the night. Either I got out of there with my secret intact, or this would be the end of Sarah Carerra as I knew her.
He didn't respond. He didn't say anything. He did the only thing that I desperately wished that I could do.
He fled.
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Friday morning proved to be as horrible as I was afraid it would be. My name and face were plastered all over the entertainment sections of most of the newspapers that Dad had delivered to our house.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.45 - Bad News by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: July 18, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.45 - Bad News
"I'm sorry," I whispered to Paul's parents. Tears streaked down my cheeks at his reaction. I knew that he felt betrayed. I would too if I was in the same situation. But there was no way I could have told him earlier. I didn't even want him to know now!
"What did you do?" his mom asked. The accusing tone in her voice didn't help my feelings, and I sniffed back a few more tears.
"Please make sure he's okay," I told her, unable to make eye contact. "I didn't want him to find out this way."
"What do you mean?!" she hissed. I could tell that she was mad at me. I was the first girl who Paul had approached like this, and I had hurt him.
I didn't know what to tell her. I had already said too much. There were too many people looking on now to say anything more.
Fortunately, Dad was there once again to alleviate the issue. He managed to calm down Paul's mother, and then he led both of his parents out of the room to where they could talk in private. I knew he was going to tell them the secret, and that only hurt more. Too many people were finding out.
Things got worse when I turned back toward the room. It was obvious that many people had taken pictures with their phones. There were also a few members of the press in the room who would likely play this up for all it was worth. I did my best to smile and interact with my fans, but I knew they all could see how upset I was.
I climbed into bed that night not only physically exhausted, but also emotionally drained. Dad hadn't been happy about what had happened. If it hadn't been for the fact that he knew I didn't do it on purpose, and that I didn't even want Paul to know, he probably would have yelled at me. Instead, he left me alone, which didn't help me feel any better either.
Friday morning proved to be as horrible as I was afraid it would be. My name and face were plastered all over the entertainment sections of most of the newspapers that Dad had delivered to our house. He usually used them to check up on his own clients. The grim look he had on his face when I sat down at the breakfast table with him showed me how disappointed he was.
The articles posited that I had broken up with Paul, or had somehow hurt his feelings in a way that made me look like the one at fault. Some of the more reputable papers included a photo or two of how distraught I had been too, but most of the others only had a brief statement that I appeared to be upset at the ordeal.
Overall Dad said it wasn't too bad. The press respected me, and they were giving me the benefit of the doubt. They didn't come out and say that I had wronged Paul, but many of them had left their stories open to interpretation in a way that didn't necessarily paint me in the best light.
"How are you doing?" Dad asked me as I poured some cereal. His tone was kinder than I expected, which gave me hope.
"I didn't want him to know, Daddy," I told him and felt tears bead at the corners of my eyes again. I sniffed and quickly wiped the tears away before they could turn into anything more.
"I know, Princess," he replied. Then he pointed at the papers. "This will blow over. You're one of America's sweethearts right now, so any gossip is news. We'll need to release a statement, so I want you to think about what you want to say."
"What do I tell them?" I asked, terrified! "I mean, I can't tell them the truth!"
"Why not?" Dad said which boggled my mind. "I don't mean that we break the secret," he quietly stated when he saw my look. "You should tell them that Paul and you are friends, and that you had a misunderstanding."
I sighed. This was NOT something that I wanted to deal with right now.
We ate breakfast in silence. I tried to think about what I should tell the press, and I couldn't find the right words. I knew there was something that I needed to do first, if I was going to come up with a statement.
After washing my bowl and putting it in the dishwasher, I headed for Sarah's room and pulled out my cell phone. After entering Paul's number I hesitated to make the call. I knew I had to do this, however, and eventually depressed my thumb to cause the phone to start dialing.
It rang three times before it was picked up. Paul's mom was the one who answered.
"Johnson residence," she said. I knew from her tone that she had seen the caller ID, though.
"Hi, Mrs. Johnson," I said softly. "Is it okay if I speak with Paul?"
She was quiet for a moment. Dad had informed me that he'd told them the truth, and they had agreed to sign a non-disclosure agreement, but that didn't mean that she wasn't still upset.
"He's not here right now, Megan," she finally said. "But I'm not sure that would be a good idea anyway. He had a crush on you, you know. But last night you crushed him."
"I know," I replied. "That's why I didn't want him to find out. He needed someone like Sarah in his life. He needed someone who could give him the courage to talk to people. I never even imagined he would recognize me. I mean, not even my cousins recognized me!"
"Megan, that's not..." she started for a moment before trailing off. Then I heard an audible sigh before she continued. "I don't blame you, Megan. Ever since you two became lab partners you've done nothing but try to help him. I know that is what you were trying to do last night. You've managed to get him out of a shell I thought he was going to spend his entire life in. He's upset right now, and rightly so. But it isn't your fault. Please give him some time. He'll come around."
It was my turn to be quiet for a moment while I tried to figure out how to reply.
"Alright," I finally agreed. "I have to make a statement to the press, and I had hoped to talk to him first and apologize. Will you at least tell him that I'm sorry?"
"The press?" she asked, worry filling her voice. "Why?"
"They were there last night," I said. "I'm afraid Sarah and Paul made most of the entertainment news this morning."
"Oh," she replied, surprised. "Um..."
"I'm going to tell them that we are friends, but that we had a misunderstanding," I said, using Dad's words. I knew she was worried about what this would do to Paul. His face was now in the newspapers, and this would certainly increase his anxiety. It would probably even make him more self-conscious around other people. "I'm sorry to get him involved in this part of my life. This isn't going to be easy for him, but I'll do anything I can to help him through it."
The phone was silent for a moment before Paul's mom spoke again. "Thank you, Megan," she said. "I'll tell him you called."
"Ok," I replied. It wasn't what I was hoping to achieve from the call, but it was better than nothing. "Bye."
I heard a click from her end, and my tears began once more.
It took another hour to draft the statement with Dad's help; more accurately he wanted my help in drafting the statement. He wanted it to come from Sarah, and not from her press people. Then, he sent it off to be distributed. I was glad that I didn't have to actually say the statement myself, but this also felt slightly cold. I just hoped that it helped.
After that mess had been dealt with, I had to turn my attention to the next mess that I knew we were going to create. Despite the events of last night, Dad was still adamant about letting my principal in on the secret, and I had plenty of things to worry about on the drive over to the school.
Stepping out of the car and walking toward the doors of the school evoked another set of emotions in me. I had spent enough time over the summer worrying about how I would be treated when I returned. I'd had an uneasy truce with many of the students at the end of the last year, sparked partially by the threat of missing finals that Principal Hall had put in place if anyone did anything to me. I wasn't sure if things would be different without that threat looming over them.
Fortunately, the school was pretty much empty as we made our way to the office and checked in with the secretary that was there.
I sat next to Dad for 20 whole minutes worrying about what would happen once we were shown into the principal's office. Eventually, the principal exited his office escorting another girl and her father. She looked like she was Austin's age, which meant she was likely an incoming freshman like him. The thought of having Austin in the same school as me this year also gave me pause, as I worried what I had gone through would mean for his standing with the other students. I sincerely hoped that my problems didn't lead to problems for him.
Once the girl and her father had exited the office, Mr. Hall turned toward me.
"Megan!" he greeted me happily. "It's so nice to see you again. I'm glad that you have decided to return to our school."
My greeting caught in my throat for a moment as I processed that statement. I hadn't even considered going to a different school. Would that have been a better option? I quickly discounted that thought when I realized it would probably mean leaving Emily and Ethan behind. I couldn't go anywhere if they were staying here.
"Hi," I finally managed. Principal Hall continued smiling as he turned toward my dad.
"Don, it's nice to see you again," he said before motioning toward his office. "Why don't you two come inside."
We followed the principal's lead into his office and took seats in the chairs in front of his desk. Mr. Hall walked around his desk and took a seat before smiling at us once again. Then he turned his attention to a folder that was lying nearby. He moved it in front of him and opened it.
"The Board's lawyers have agreed to allow me to sign the non-disclosure," he said, directing his comments toward my dad. "They weren't exactly happy about it, but I do have it signed."
He pulled out the papers that I had become all too familiar with when people found out my secret and handed them to Dad, who started to review them. Then Dad returned a set to Mr. Hall and placed his copy on top of his day planner.
"Thank you," Dad said. "That will make this meeting a lot more productive."
"Can I ask what this is about?" the principal asked before motioning toward me. "Is it in regards to her change?"
"No," Dad replied casually. "I've already given you the papers that show she is legally female. We don't need to go over that any more, do we?"
Principal Hall shook his head before replying. "No," he said. "As far as the school is concerned, Megan is female. She will be treated like any other female in this school and will be held to the same standards that the other girls are held too. Congratulations, Megan."
I smiled broadly before I could even attempt to talk. "Thank you," I told him.
"So if this isn't about her gender..." the principal said, trailing off at the end to invite us to inform him what it was truly about.
I looked to Dad, wondering if he wanted me to say it. But he started speaking instead. "There is a good chance that Megan will be missing quite a bit of school this year, and we were hoping that you could help us make sure that she still meets all of the requirements to advance."
"Oh," the principal said, obviously surprised. "If I might ask, why would she be missing school?"
Now Dad looked over at me, which caused Principal Hall to do the same.
"I'm, um..." I still didn't think that this was a good idea, and I didn’t want to tell him. But I knew that Dad's reasoning for telling him was sound. "I'm Sarah Carerra," I finally blurted out. The relief that I felt was immediate, and almost as pronounced as the shock that registered on my principal's face.
"I..." he started, but he seemed to be debating with himself if what we had told him was the truth. I saw the doubt cross his face more than once before he finally seemed to accept what we were saying. He still looked reluctant to believe it when he spoke again, though. "Okay," he said cautiously. "Assuming that's true, what do you want me to do?"
"Megan will be missing some school due to the concert tour she is currently committed to," Dad told him. "We were hoping that you could help us excuse her absences and help us to make sure we have all of her assignments so that she can complete them while she is gone."
Principal Hall pondered that request for a moment. "I think that I can do that. However there are a minimum number of days that she is required to attend to be eligible for advancement. If she misses too much, then I won't have any choice but to hold her back."
"I don't expect her to miss too much," Dad told him. "Most of her concerts are on Saturdays, but we will need to fly out on Friday afternoon to make it to them. Otherwise she has one concert on a Tuesday, so she will likely be out for a day or two then. For everything else she has planned, we are trying to work around the school schedule to keep her from missing too much."
Mr. Hall nodded.
"In addition," Dad continued. "For your help we would like to offer two gifts from Sarah Carerra. First, we are planning a Christmas performance, and we would like to offer the school's Chorus group the chance to perform with her."
I was as surprised as Principal Hall! Dad hadn't mentioned any of this to me beforehand, but I saw his grin that told me how excited he thought I would be. Truthfully, the thought of performing with people from my school worried me a lot more than it excited me. I had already had one person see through my disguise at close range. What if some of the other students did the same thing?
"I'll have to see what Mr. Benson thinks about that first," the principal said. Mr. Benson was the Chorus instructor. Dad nodded to show that he understood. "What's the second item?"
"Sarah is also willing to perform a concert for the school," Dad said.
If I thought that the shock of performing with the Chorus was bad enough, this new offer electrified my nerves!
"What?" I screamed! "No! I can’t perform at school! If I’m outed here, then everything will be over!”
"It'll be okay, Megan," Dad tried to soothe me. "You've already proven that you can fool everyone. Nobody will recognize you."
"What about Paul?" I shot back. "He recognized me easily enough! How can you be so sure that nobody else will?"
Dad seemed to reflect on that point for a moment, but I saw in his eyes that I would be performing here. As my agent, he knew that it would be the right move for my career, and he didn't seem to be worried about the secret getting out.
"Paul was a special case," Dad said. I could only frown at him because I knew that was true. The only reason Paul had recognized me was because I was the only friend he'd ever truly had. Even Ethan, whom I'd known much longer than Paul, hadn't recognized me.
"Fine," I said resignedly. I wasn't exactly happy about it, but I knew I didn't have a choice anymore. There were some decisions, like where to perform, that weren't my call. The smile that was on Mr. Hall's face told me that it would be good for the school and good for what we were asking him to help us with. But it still didn't keep me from worrying.
"The school would appreciate that," Principal Hall broke in when Dad and I had lapsed into silence. "But how is this going to work? How do we explain Megan's absence to the teachers?"
"Officially Megan is one of Sarah's personal assistants," Dad explained the cover story that we had already established. "That explains why she is following Sarah around, and should suffice for most of her absences."
Principal Hall nodded before he spoke again. "Okay, that will work. I'm willing to help in any way that I can. It's an honor to have you at this school, Megan."
"Thank you," I said, but inwardly I was still pouting about what Dad had thrown at me.
"There is one more thing that I'd like you to consider doing in return," the principal continued. I felt my whole body sag at his words. Whatever it was, I was sure I wouldn't like it either.
"What is it?" I asked cautiously. I really didn't want to know the answer.
"I'd like you to consider joining Chorus," he replied.
I sighed. I knew I wouldn't like his request. Everything both Dad and Mr. Hall wanted me to do had a major potential of blowing the secret out into the open. What if someone in Chorus recognized my singing as Sarah's? What would happen then? It definitely wouldn't be anything good.
"It would count as one of your electives, and Chorus meets during last period, so it wouldn't interfere with any of your extracurricular activities," he continued, trying to persuade me. He even had a large smile on his face that made him look way too happy. I still didn't like the idea.
"I think that is a good idea," Dad piped in with his own opinion. "It will give you a chance to work on your singing and you might even learn a thing or two. Besides, if Mr. Benson agrees to have Chorus perform with Sarah, then it will be a good way for you to learn and interact with the group before they ever meet Sarah."
I sighed again. Today felt like I had no control over my life. From the stories in the papers to the inability to speak with Paul. From the new concert to being forced to join Chorus. I was half afraid I'd be playing on a sports team by the end of the meeting.
"Whatever," I finally told them, which caused both of them to smile widely. I hated them at that moment! I still wished that there was something that I could do to get out of what I had just been forced to commit to.
"I thought you wanted to protect the secret," I scowled at Dad when we were back in his car.
Dad looked over at me and laughed. He laughed! I scowled even harder.
"Megan, you are too worried about this," he said. "What happened with Paul was unfortunate, but it was extremely unlikely. You know as well as I do that Sarah and Megan look very different from each other. Nobody else is going to find out, and joining Chorus is not going to kill you."
"Fine," I told him. "But a concert?"
He chuckled again while shaking his head. Then he spoke once more.
"It'll be fun," he said. "Think about how great it will be to have the whole school screaming for you. All those people who give you a hard time will fall at your feet. Trust me. You are going to enjoy it."
When he put it that way, the concert did sound like a lot of fun. I'd love to see Jared Lumbart and his friends groveling at my feet for an autograph.
But that didn't mean I wanted to do it.
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Two hours later, I was contentedly resting on the couch in my bus as we made our way east. It was going to be a long trip to Indiana, but at least the bus was very comfortable to travel on.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.46 - On the Road Again by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: July 25, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.46 - On the Road Again
I pushed thoughts of school out of my mind Saturday morning. It was still two and a half weeks until school started, and I had much more important things to worry about. Tomorrow, we would be leaving home for two weeks, and I had four concerts to perform before I even had to step foot into the school. I could worry about Chorus and the concert I'd be performing later.
Instead, I enjoyed Mary’s beaming smile when she saw that I was carrying a Carerra Bear with me into her office. She had really appreciated that I gave one to each of her daughters, and I was happy to present her with one of her own. I knew she would keep it in her office, and I knew that she'd have some patients who would really enjoy seeing it.
Our meeting was subdued. I still loved talking to Mary, but it had become apparent to both of us that the main reason why I had been seeing her for was no longer a major issue in my life. Several weeks ago I had made the decision to be Megan for the rest of my life, and I was adjusting to that well. She'd helped me with both some of the anxiety I'd felt over my new career and the boys in my life.
With some sadness we had to reschedule my appointments for every two weeks instead of every week. Talking with her was very therapeutic, and I didn't want to stop seeing her completely, especially with school starting in a couple of weeks. But I wouldn't be able to make my regularly scheduled appointments because I had concerts every Saturday for the next two months.
I owed Mary a lot. I wouldn't be the person I was today without her. I knew that she wasn't gone from my life, but it still hurt as I walked out of her office and climbed into my car for the drive back home.
I continued to mope at home for a while before it was time to get ready for the party that Amy had set up with the band and their families. I didn't fully come out of my funk until Dad and I pulled up to the building where Amy had rented a room.
I was fashionably late, of course, when I walked in the door. The party was already in full swing. There were a couple of ping-pong and pool tables in one corner, already seeing a lot of use. A small area with a couple of TVs occupied most of the younger kids who were there. A nice catered late lunch was set up in a third area with a number of tables and seats where people could mingle while they ate.
But the highlight of the room clearly was the small stage where the band's equipment was set up. I smiled when I saw my white microphone right there alongside the equipment.
The fervor that engulfed the room as I walked in was palpable. Many of the younger kids screamed and ran over to me. All of the older patrons were more restrained, but it became apparent quickly that they were just as eager to meet the girl their family members were working with.
After doing the whole autograph thing, the room settled down a bit and the introductions started. As usual, there was no way that I would remember all of their names. But there were certainly a few that I tried my best to remember. Each of the band's and the girls' parents were there, and I knew that I wanted to be able to remember their names. Some of the band's siblings were the same way. Stacy's brothers were a great example.
"Sarah, these are my brothers," Stacy introduced us. "This is David and Goliath."
I couldn't help it - I laughed. David was a small guy, at least compared to his brothers, and Goliath, well, he fit his name too. Stacy was the middle child, and seemed to almost be the mid-point between their sizes too. I hoped that I didn't offend them by laughing, and the humor on their faces seemed to indicate that I hadn't.
"My name is really George," Goliath said, laughing along with me while shaking my hand. "It's an honor to meet you."
"The honor is mine," I told them. "Though I must admit I've been warned about you two. Yet I have no idea why."
"Well," David answered. "George got the looks. I got the brains. Poor Stacy wasn't left with much. He's just jealous."
I laughed again. Certainly that wasn't accurate. All three of the Miller boys were good looking. I also knew that Stacy was brilliant on the drums. If David had the brains, and George had the looks, then Stacy definitely had the musical talent. But I didn't argue with them and instead nodded while moving on to meet more people.
Sophie's parents were as sophisticated as she was. Holly's were outgoing like her. Jason's parents were nice but somewhat distant, while Connor's were the opposite. Both were a surprise because their sons seemed to be the opposite of them.
They were all great people, however. It was nice to know that everyone I worked with had a wonderful family like mine backing them.
Most of the night was spent with the band and I on stage again. We played a mini-concert for the families which was a big hit. A number of the younger kids joined us on the stage, dancing and goofing off. It was a lot of fun, and I knew we would have to do it again sometime.
It had been a good day, and I was so glad that I had such a great group of individuals to work with. I would be nowhere near where I was today without the band, and I wished that there was more I could do to thank them.
When I walked into church Sunday morning, I knew I was in trouble. Paul and his family were already seated, and he was staring at me as I walked with my own family toward an empty pew. I smiled and waved at him, but that didn't do much to wipe the frown off his face. I sincerely hoped that I hadn't completely lost him.
"I guess Paul didn't take the news very well, did he?" Emily said as she sat down next to me. "He looks upset."
I frowned at her words. She was right, but that didn't mean that I wanted to hear someone tell me that. I still hoped that Paul and I could work this out. But I was leaving today for a two week concert tour, and that gave us very little time to patch things up.
I tried to put the thought out of my head as the services started, but every time I would glance Paul's way, he was looking at me again. He'd then quickly turn away when I caught him, but it didn't take long before he turned back to stare at me.
After church, just after I had stepped outside, I found him waiting for me. The frown that I had seen earlier wasn't present on his face, but I could still see some contention there. At least that seemed like an improvement.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked once we had stepped away from the other people and into the shade of a nearby tree. "I thought we were friends."
Those words hit me hard! I knew that Paul didn't have many friends. I knew that I was the only real friend that he ever spent any time with. And that wasn't much as it was. To have him accuse me of not being his friend was about the worst thing he could say in this situation! It brought tears to my eyes almost immediately.
"It's complicated, Paul," I said, wiping away a tear before I could look him in the eyes. "If people find out, then my normal life will be over. I'm just beginning to learn who I really am as Megan. I don't want that taken away from me before I even get the chance to know myself. The more people who know, the more likely it is that someone will let the secret out."
"I would never tell," he said adamantly. "That's what friends do. They keep each other's secrets and protect them. I can protect you, Megan."
I had a sudden impression of Paul standing there, in full knight armor, trying to protect me from a dragon. As vivid as my imagination was, I knew that it wasn't what I wanted. I knew it wasn't what Paul needed.
"Paul--" I started, but was quickly interrupted.
"Why, Megan?" he said, and I could feel the pain in his voice. "Why not me?" he nearly screamed. "You're the most amazing girl I've ever known! I lo--"
"It's not you," I said quickly, stopping him before he could say the words I knew he would regret. "It's me." I cringed inwardly at the horribly clichéd words that I had just spoken to him. I saw his shoulders sag and his body deflate. He turned to flee from me once again.
I grabbed his wrist with both hands and held on tightly, preventing him from escaping. He looked back at me, and I could see tears streaming from his eyes.
"Paul," I started again, and he tugged against me, trying to get away once again. "Like I just said, I'm trying to learn who I am right now. I'm not ready for a boyfriend. I can't be anybody's girlfriend right now. I just can't!"
He stopped pulling against my hands, taking in what I had said. It was the truth. I'd spent all summer as Sarah, and I still needed to learn who Megan was before I was ready to commit myself to a relationship. The fiasco with Josh had made that abundantly clear to me.
"So you're saying that might change in the future?" The hope in his question caused my heart to ache. Paul was one of the sweetest boys I knew, but I couldn't see myself with him. Yet I knew that I couldn't stomp on that hope. He needed hope like that to continue to move out of his shell. That was why I hadn't told him about Sarah. He was in love with her, and I knew that he needed that. As much as I didn't want him to be thinking about me like that, I knew that I couldn't outright dash his hopes.
"I don't know what the future will hold, Paul," I told him. "I can't promise anything. My life is too hectic and too crazy right now. What I do know is that I want to be your friend. I hope that you want to be mine, too."
He looked into my eyes, and I could see the conflict in them. I knew what he felt about me. I knew what he had felt about Sarah. I knew what he hoped I would say to him today. Yet I also knew that he didn't want to lose me. I hoped that was enough to keep him from running again.
"You still should have told me," he finally said. "I'm your friend."
And there was the smile I had been hoping to see. The smile I had seen many times from a friend. The smile that let me know that we would be okay.
"Perhaps," I conceded. "But I didn't even tell Emily and Ethan at the beginning."
Paul’s eyes bulged and he choked on that thought for a moment. He knew that Emily and Ethan had been my best friends for longer than I had known Paul. He knew how close we were. I knew he was envious of the relationship I had with them, so to hear that I had kept the secret from them seemed to give him some peace.
"If it helps," I added. "Ethan never even recognized me until after I took off the wig. You saw right through my disguise."
That resulted in an even larger smile on his face, and I knew that statement would make him a lot happier.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry for causing so much trouble. I saw the papers."
"The papers aren't a problem," I said. "At least, not for me. I was more worried about what they would do to you. Your picture has been seen all across America, you know."
He sighed, but he didn't deflate like I was afraid he would. I thought that being exposed like he had would cause him to retreat further, but he was surprising me again. Not only had he not withdrawn, but he seemed to be standing up for himself again. He was truly starting to come out of his shell. Instead, he nodded.
"It's scary," he explained. "But it's something I need to do. You are my friend, and I wanted to help you. I talked to a few reporters on the phone when they called our house, and I told them it was a misunderstanding. I told them we were friends, and that I had overreacted."
He had a huge smile on his face as he beamed at his accomplishment. I stood there, dumbstruck! Was this the same person whom I had to coax into even talking to me when we were first paired up as lab partners? Was this the same person who was terrified to talk to me on yearbook day? I didn't know what to think anymore! He was growing so fast that I almost didn't recognize him.
"Thank you," I finally managed to say. "I don't even recognize you anymore! I can't believe you talked to them!"
He started laughing, and it wasn't long before I joined in with him. Then I did something that I hoped didn't hurt our relationship like it had with Ethan.
I hugged him.
Two hours later, I was contentedly resting on the couch in my bus as we made our way east. It was going to be a long trip to Indiana, but at least the bus was very comfortable to travel on. Besides, the majority of the trip would happen while we were asleep. We'd be arriving in our hotel late tomorrow night.
On the brighter side, this was the first trip where all of the buses used to carry the people and equipment involved in my tour were travelling together. There were three buses that carried the band, the dancers, and the crew. Only my bus and the tractor-trailer had any markings to let the other vehicles on the road know who I was, but it was still an impressive sight to see.
It was nice to travel with them for a change. On this trip I wasn't going to get to fly from city to city. I would finally experience what the band went through when we travelled. Of course I had a queen size bed to sleep in, and they each had small bunks on their bus, but it was still an exciting adventure.
The only downside to travelling with the full entourage was the fact that they expected Sarah to be around when the convoy made a stop. I wasn't presently wearing the wig, but it was nearby if we stopped for any reason. It removed some of the fun of a cross-country trip with my family, but it was a price I was still willing to pay.
I was laying on the couch with my head in Mom's lap while we listened to the countdown over the bus's radio. Dad and Austin were playing video games on the TV. Every once in a while the peace would be shattered by a honking car, and I would sit up and wave out the window at the fans, knowing that they would only be able to make out a faint silhouette through the dark tint of the bus's windows.
I was very happy when Desdemona's song dropped to #4 this week. I had been worried that the newcomer would overtake 'You Can't Hurt Me', but instead it seemed to be a small flare in the grand fireworks show. CrayZ's song managed to retake the #2 spot, so I wasn't worried about another song rising up for next week. I knew that it could happen, but it seemed less likely. 'You Can't Hurt Me' had now been on top for 4 weeks, and I hoped that the song continued to stay at #1 for a long time to come.
After that, it became more like a road trip as we tried to find things to do to occupy our time as we made our way down the road. We watched TV, played games, read, and Mom even napped. Overall, it wasn't too bad and I knew I had nothing to complain about.
Sleeping on a bus took some getting used to. I was jarred awake a couple of times throughout the night, but not enough to keep from quickly falling asleep again.
Monday was a beautiful day. Blue skies and sunshine followed us from state to state as we drove. But it was when Dad connected his laptop to the Internet for the first time that the day really started to shine.
"Megan!" my dad called from where he was working at the small table in the kitchen area. "Come see this!"
"See what?" I asked him. I had been sitting on the couch again watching TV with Austin. Mom was napping on my bed.
I stood up and walked over to where he was sitting, and slid into the booth with him. His computer screen showed a page about the Video Music Awards nominations. I started to scan through the names, and choked up at what I saw.
The first time I saw my name, I was thrilled. The second time, I was stunned. The other three left me breathless.
"Five?" I asked. I still didn't believe what my eyes were telling me!
"Five!" Dad confirmed. "It appears that the fans really like your video."
I stared at the screen again. Five nominations my first year! That was amazing! My name was listed under Video of the Year, Best Female Video, Best Pop Video, Best Direction in a Video, and Best New Artist. I couldn't believe it! I'd never been nominated for an award before, and now I had been nominated for five of them!
I was glad I was sitting down as I turned back to my dad. "I don't believe it!" I told him.
"You should," he replied firmly. "You're amazing, Megan. That song is amazing. Jonothon wouldn't have been able to create such a great video if it wasn't based on such a wonderful song. I think that there is a good chance that you could win in every one of these categories."
I doubted it, but the thought of attending my first red carpet event where I had a chance to win an award was really exciting. I could feel the rush flowing through me just at the thought.
"There's more," Dad said, bringing me back to earth slightly.
"More? What?" I asked, unsure of what else there could be.
"With all these nominations, I wouldn't be surprised to get a call about having you perform on the show," he told me.
The rush started to build within me again just at the thought of performing on TV once more. I really, really hoped that I got the chance to do so!
I spent the remainder of the day in a daze. Mom congratulated me when she woke up. The band and crew congratulated me when we made a pit stop, and even Emily and Ethan called. There were also tons of emails from fans who hit the email box we'd set up for Sarah Carerra. There was absolutely no way that I could reply to all of them, and I had a whole team of people who usually replied for me, but it was nice to read through some of them and see why I had been nominated. I knew it was a good song, but I had never expected anything like this.
When we finally made it to our hotel late that night, I collapsed into my bed with a contented sigh. Not only did I have the VMAs to look forward to, but I also had a concert to perform tomorrow.
I fell asleep silently thanking Emily and Ethan for dragging me to Johnny's party.
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"I want to go on some of the rides," Austin said. I did too. He and my parents had enjoyed the California Mid-State Fair while I was forced to wait on the bus. I wanted to experience at least one of the fairs that I was going to be performing at. This seemed like a good one.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.47 - The Indiana State Fair by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: August 1, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.47 - The Indiana State Fair
On Tuesday, Dad awakened me much earlier than I wanted to start the day. I whined while climbing out of the bed in my room of our suite, and headed for the bathroom to start getting ready. I envied Mom and Austin, who were still sound asleep, and might only start stirring by the time we finished the radio and TV interviews that were planned for this morning.
Soon I was ready, and it wasn't much longer before Dad, Amy, Mason, and I were all travelling in a nice limo we had rented for the day toward one of the local television stations. I didn't get to talk with my entourage much, however, since I spent most of the drive on the phone talking to radio stations.
Once we arrived at the TV station I was escorted quickly to the set of a morning show, where I spent twenty minutes being interviewed again. Nearly every interview was the same, and they started to blur together like they usually did when we crammed so many into a short period of time. I knew that it was something that I had to do, and I was always happy to give the fans the opportunity to learn more about me. However, I always wished that they could occur later in the day. I never felt like I received enough sleep before the concerts.
When we arrived back at the hotel, Austin was just getting into the shower. Mom was ready. I knew that I'd have a few minutes, and sat down in a chair and closed my eyes.
Dad awoke me again about half an hour later. The short nap gave me the extra boost of energy that I would need to get through the day, and I was happy that he had let me sleep. Everyone was ready by then, so we headed for the fairgrounds.
The crew had been up all night putting together the stage, and they wanted to take a nap before this evening’s performance. That meant that we had a very early sound check, which left me sitting in my dressing room with the majority of the day to do nothing.
I got bored fast. So did Austin.
"I want to go on some of the rides," Austin said. I did too. He and my parents had enjoyed the California Mid-State Fair while I was forced to wait on the bus. I wanted to experience at least one of the fairs that I was going to be performing at. This seemed like a good one.
"I'll go with you," I said, which threw everyone into chaos. Cole was in the room with us, and I saw the security concerns flash across his face immediately. He was not pleased with my idea. Mom and Dad looked very reluctant too. It was Amy who came to my defense.
"That sounds like a great idea!" she replied. And she was smiling! That last point was important, because it caused everyone to scowl at her. Well, everyone except Austin and me.
"Amy," Dad said patronizingly. It was the voice he used when he was trying to talk us out of doing something, and my hopes dropped.
But Amy stood her ground. "No, Don," she said before my dad could continue. "It would be great press. Sarah spending time at the fair before her show would be a good thing."
I hadn't planned on going out there with the wig on, and her explanation almost caused me to rebel. I wanted to have fun, not sign autographs all afternoon. Some of my excitement of the fair left at the realization that Amy wanted Sarah, not Megan, to ride the rides.
I opened my mouth to say something, but she saw my look and stopped me by repeating, "Good press." Then she continued to explain why. "You can just sign autographs while you’re waiting in line. People will respect that you are there having fun and not press too hard. I promise. Cole will make sure of that."
While her words seemed to ring true, I knew she didn't have much experience in the matter. She may have been hoping that was the case more than it actually would be. Unfortunately, her words managed to convince my father. I saw it in his eyes long before he started to nod.
"Okay," he said. "You've convinced me. Cole, get to work on the security. You can take Sarah and Austin, while Linda and I run a few errands.”
I almost gagged at the look he gave my mom. I knew what 'errands' meant, even if it had escaped Austin. Between the bus ride and the shared suite at the hotel, they hadn't had much time to themselves. Whatever he had planned, I didn't want to be around to see it.
"Maybe we can go see the horses," my mom replied, returning his look. That threw me for a loop for a moment, because I couldn't tell if she was trying to cover up what they were really going to do, or if she really did want to go see the horses. Either way, if it got Austin and me out on the Midway, then I would be a happy camper. I had a lot of time to kill before the concert and I really wanted to have some fun.
It was another 15 minutes before we left the dressing room. Cole was frantically trying to do everything that he could to limit the safety concerns and Mason almost freaked out when he found out what we were planning. I couldn't understand why. Celebrities go out all the time - why was it so different for me to be seen doing something fun in public?
Cole quickly explained. Some of the 15,500 people who had tickets to tonight’s concert were likely to be at the fair. Also, there would be many people who didn't, or couldn't, get a ticket, along with other people who were just at the fair for the day. There was a great chance for a mob to form. I thought he was being overly dramatic, but he instilled enough concern into me that I was willing to acquiesce to his demands.
I had to change my shoes, since I didn't want to walk around the fair in the heeled sandals I had been wearing, but I had a pair of flat strappy sandals to replace them. They still looked good with the shorts and top that I had put on earlier, and that would keep me cool on the warm sunny day. I made sure to apply plenty of sunscreen too. The last thing I wanted was to be sunburned for my concert.
But eventually we made it out the door and started the long walk between the grandstand and the Midway. Almost immediately I had people pointing at me and waving. But for the most part, Amy was right. They could tell that I was out to have fun, and they left us alone. A few people mustered enough courage to ask me for a picture or an autograph, but we still made pretty good time.
I noticed that Austin was sick of the attention by the time we finally reached the Midway. But he stuck by my side and waited each time we had to stop. Cole and Mason were always nearby too. They weren't wearing suits, thank heavens, but they still stood out a bit in their sharp polo shirts and slacks. They weren't exactly dressed for a day at the fair. However, I think their presence did keep some of the people away, so it was worthwhile.
I let Austin lead us around to what he wanted to do. He was giving up a lot for me to be on this concert tour. Anything I could do to give something back seemed like a small price to pay. Besides, he kept pulling us towards the things I wanted to do anyway. We rode a number of the rides, played a number of the carnival games, and almost killed each other on the bumper cars. In short, we had a lot of fun.
The only downside was that I was wearing the wig. It felt so much like the times I had spent together with him while growing up, but I couldn't treat him like my brother. He was just the son of my agent, accompanying me on all of the rides. I knew that irked him somewhat, but the smile that was on his face all afternoon proved that it wasn't enough to upset him.
"We'll have to head back in about half an hour," Cole finally told me. We had been on the Midway for hours, and I knew that any more would only start to tire me out. I would still need a lot of energy for the show, so I didn't complain, even though it was still only early afternoon.
"Awww," Austin moaned though. "Already?"
"I'm afraid so," I said. I knew that he'd likely be okay alone if he wanted to stay longer, but I also knew that Mom and Dad would kill me if I didn't bring him back with me.
"Fine," he said a little petulantly. "Can we go on the roller coaster one more time before we go?"
"Sure," I replied, and then I let him lead us toward it once again. We got in line, while Mason and Cole waited where they could see me once again. They hadn't ridden a single ride with us, and that seemed wrong. I tried to get them to join in the fun, but they took their job seriously, apparently.
"Oh my gosh!" a feminine voice gushed behind me while we were in line. I turned around to find a girl my own age staring at me in shock, right before she wrapped her arms around me in excitement. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mason jump to his feet from the bench he and Cole were sitting on, which caused me to laugh.
The girl started laughing with me, presuming that I was laughing at her antics. That only caused me to actually laugh at her antics.
"You're Sarah Carerra!" she screamed once she had stopped laughing.
"I am?" I questioned which made her laugh even more. I saw Austin roll his eyes in my peripheral vision. I think he was starting to get sick of the attention I was receiving. We certainly had every eye within a short distance looking at us.
"What are you doing here?" the girl asked. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for your concert?"
"I had some free time," I explained. "And Austin wanted to come to the Midway. I thought I'd come too."
The girl looked around me at Austin for a moment. Then she got a confused look on her face. "Is he your boyfriend?" she asked.
I started laughing, not at her question, but at the choking and gagging that erupted from Austin. That probably wasn't the reaction that most boys his age would have, and it left the girl looking even more confused.
"No," I told her. "Austin is the son of my agent. He's more like a little brother to me."
"Oh," she said, and understanding seemed to cross her face. It left me wondering why she would think Austin would be a bad boyfriend. Austin was an amazing kid. Any girl would be lucky to have him. I knew he really adored Susan and treated her well. I resented the implication that the girl had inadvertently made that he wasn't boyfriend material.
I had to continue talking to the girl the entire time we were in the line. Stepping into the coaster car next to Austin was the best thing that I had done all day. That girl had some quirky views about how she thought I should live my life, and I didn't really feel the same way.
"That girl was nuts," Austin spoke for the first time since we had met her. I laughed again and reached over and gave him a hug. I was glad someone could say it.
Austin was disappointed that we had to leave the Midway after the coaster ride was finished. I felt sorry that I had to pull him away, but he understood why. He knew that Mom and Dad were protective of him, and I admired his maturity to try and appease them. I didn't know if I would have been able to do the same thing if I was in his position.
I basked in the rush after finishing 'Fearless' once again for a moment before the lights dropped and the big screen at the back of the stage lit up to play a small video about the band and me talking about our experiences this summer. I rushed off the stage. Costume changes were becoming easier as I went through more and more of them, but it was still a coordinated mess.
I felt one of the crewmembers pulling the simple country dress off over my head at the same time that I kicked off the strappy sandals that I had been wearing. Then another woman pulled tight jeans up my legs at the same time that a pretty light pink top was pulled over my still upstretched arms. Once everything was in place I stepped into the shoes that were presented to me, and I turned to let Stephanie touch up my makeup and hair while someone tied the laces.
The first time I had done this had been a very awkward and uncomfortable experience, but the women who were dressing me were always respectful and kind, and I had begun to accept it as a necessity in putting on the concert. Costume changes had become the norm for pop singers in this day and age, and I wasn't exempt by any means.
The whole affair took only 45 seconds, and I was quickly running back out onto the dark stage to get into place before the video finished. The clapping that accompanied the end of the video came all too soon, and I took a few deep breaths to get more oxygen into my system. The costume changes took more energy than half the songs because I was always nervous something would go wrong and cause the concert to be delayed.
A spotlight lit the stage, centered on me. Without any words, the soft, peaceful melody of 'Love?' started, and I wrapped my hands around my microphone. Then I started singing the soft peaceful words that brought the question to reality. I sung about how confused I was in trying to find out if I really was in love. When Stacy added a beat to the soft sounds that Connor and Jason had been playing, the stage lit up to show the dancers, half obscured in shadow, moving in tune to the slow love song I had originally written about Josh Holliday.
I was able to fully answer the question now. I wasn't in love with him. But that realization didn't change the longing and doubt that I poured into my words.
The song continued to build upon itself with each verse, each line that I sang, culminating with a high crescendo as the frustration of not knowing the answer built and built before bursting forth from inside of me. A short solo from Jason followed the outburst for a moment, as my whole world changed.
When I started singing the chorus again after his solo, the meaning was different. It was no longer a question, it was an acknowledgement. Then the song descended from the crescendo and moved back into the peacefulness where it had started, as I came to terms with being in love, and what that meant. Then I finished the song with a peaceful admonition that 'I am in love with you' before I hummed along with the melody for a bit before the song came to a peaceful conclusion.
The soft calm that had settled across the Grandstand was broken by the roar of the crowd. I hadn't had much choreography during the song as I stood at my microphone, but I was still gasping for breath. The emotions that made up 'Love?' were very intense, and it took me a moment to recover while they cheered.
"How many of you have been in love?" I asked the audience once the cheering had stopped. I raised my left arm and many members of the audience did the same. Naturally, most of the audience had their arms raised, whether they had truly been in love or not.
"Love is an interesting thing, is it not?" I asked the crowd. There was a sound of assent from them, so I continued. "It consumes every day of our lives. We yearn to be loved. By our families, by our friends, by that special someone. It is also the greatest inspiration for most of the songs that we hear. And we can use those songs to tell stories. That's what we are going to do here tonight."
I started walking over toward Connor while I continued to talk.
"We've just realized that we are in love, right?" I asked the crowd, referring to the song I had just sung for them. There was another roar of assent indicating that they were following along with me. "So how did that happen? Did we wake up one day and decide we wanted to be in love?" Dissent was the noise that was returned now. Some people laughed. That apparently wasn't the right answer.
"What happened then, Connor?" I asked before holding the microphone up so that he could speak. He feigned surprise for a moment before speaking.
"You met someone?" he said, questioningly.
"You meet someone," I repeated while stepping toward Jason. "Where?"
Jason pretended to ponder that question for a moment before he answered.
"It could be anywhere," he said. "The grocery store, school, walking down the street. All it takes is one glimpse."
"One glimpse," I repeated the answer once again while moving back to the center of the stage. "All it takes is one glimpse."
A soft beat of Stacy's drums led us into our next song. The other band members weren't far behind, and soon I was singing about a chance meeting, a quick glimpse of someone that tugged at my heart strings. Don McLean had captured the thought that Jason had so graciously provided us with in his song, 'If We Try'. As I sang it for the crowd, and talked about the feelings of catching that glimpse, and the hope that the other person would look back, I could see the understanding in the faces of those closest to the stage.
It all started with a glimpse.
As the song came to an end and the crowd started cheering once again, I had a smile on my face. This was only the beginning of the love story we would sing throughout the evening.
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I nodded as we continued to watch a big ship pass by in front of us. The Nautica Pavilion was built on a bend near the mouth of the Cuyahoga River. Austin and I were sitting in a pair of lawn chairs that had been set up outside my tour bus, which was parked within view of the river. We had watched a number of ships pass by since we had arrived. It was going to be an interesting show, because I was sure they wouldn't be stopping just because I was performing.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.47 - The Indiana State Fair by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: August 8, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.48 - Nautica Pavilion
The next two days were generally uneventful. We remained in Indianapolis for most of Wednesday, because Dad wanted to visit the Indianapolis Motor Speedway and the museum nearby. Mom and I were dragged along, though I went sans wig.
It was boring.
Dad and Austin had a great time. Mom and I followed in their wake, letting them have some fun. I knew that we were going to do many things that I wanted to do on this trip, so I was willing to give them their day. Even though it was a "family" day, I still would have liked to hang out with the band or the dancers. We did get to go out to eat and see a movie afterward, so I didn't complain too much.
We slept in the following morning. After having a good breakfast with the band and the dancers at a nice restaurant, we left for Cleveland. The crew had left the night before to give them enough time to set up the stage today before it was needed for the concert tomorrow, so they weren’t able to join us.
After a six hour trip, we checked into our hotel. The band, the dancers, and I all lounged around the pool for most of the afternoon. It seemed low-key compared to most of the times that I wore the wig, but it was definitely a lot of fun.
Friday morning dawned much like all the other concert mornings. I did a number of radio interviews from my hotel room before we had to head down to the studios of CO-94, who was sponsoring the show. I had an in-studio interview with their morning show.
After I was finished with all of the media, it was time to have some more fun. Scott had surprised us with a VIP tour of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. There were about 40 of us between my dancers, my family, the band, myself, and any of the crew who weren't required to finish setting up for the show.
But that number quickly grew once we got inside. I had let it slip during my interview at the radio station that I would be here, and it looked like a few dedicated fans had made the trip down to join us.
But sharing that time with not only the people that I worked with, but also with fans, was amazing. It only added to the wonderful exhibits that they had on display. We spent a lot of time in an exhibit that showcased the women who played a role in shaping the music industry. There were so many women featured, including many whom I had looked up to while growing up. I just had to have someone take my picture next to the small display about Taylor Swift!
I was too new to be featured, but as we left the museum and made our way over to the Nautica Pavilion, I wondered if my picture would ever be included among the many wonderful women that made up the exhibit.
I could only hope.
"This is really cool," Austin said.
I nodded as we continued to watch a big ship pass by in front of us. The Nautica Pavilion was built on a bend near the mouth of the Cuyahoga River. Austin and I were sitting in a pair of lawn chairs that had been set up outside my tour bus, which was parked within view of the river. We had watched a number of ships pass by since we had arrived. It was going to be an interesting show, because I was sure they wouldn't be stopping just because I was performing.
"Yeah," I replied after a few seconds of silence. The weather here was similar to the weather in Los Angeles, so it was somewhat warm, but not hot. The shade that we were sitting in definitely made it bearable.
I'd already completed the sound check, and it was still a few hours until Poptacular took the stage to open the concert. I was more than willing to laze away the time until I was actually needed again.
I glanced over at Austin, and I saw the same thing that I had been seeing for most of the week.
"How are you doing?" I asked him, even though I already knew the answer. "Are you having fun, or do you wish you were back home?"
His face said it all. I knew there were moments when he really enjoyed being on the tour with me. But there were also moments like this, when we were sitting around, that he was bored and unhappy. He had said that watching the ships was cool, and I didn't doubt that he was enjoying it, but I also knew that he'd rather be home with Susan. The two of them had been spending a lot more time with each other as the summer continued, and I wondered what their future held.
"I'm glad I'm here," he replied, even if it wasn't the whole truth.
"But you miss Susan," I finished for him. He didn't say anything, he just nodded. I had never really had a relationship with someone like he had with Susan. But I missed Emily and Ethan dearly. I wished that they were here with us, enjoying all the amazing things that we were doing. I was certain that was much the same way that he felt about Susan. At least I hoped so, because they were too young for anything else. Heck, I was still too young for anything else, and I had two years on both of them.
"It's only two weeks," I tried to comfort him. "And we're already almost half way through it. You'll get to see her again soon."
"Maybe," Austin replied. "But what if Sam gets to her first? He's been trying to steal her from me since the day she first came over to our house!"
I couldn't help it - I laughed. He seemed so serious in his worry! I knew that it was unlikely the two of them would be together for long, but it certainly felt like a life and death matter for him.
"Don't worry, Austin," I told him. I didn't know who this Sam was, but I knew that Austin had a lot going for him. "Sam doesn't hold a candle to you. Susan isn't going anywhere."
He looked up at me, obviously not believing my words. But I continued before he could say anything.
"Besides," I said. "Sam doesn't know Sarah Carerra. All you have to do is to bring Susan to our home again, and you'll have her hooked all over again."
I know I had a lopsided smile on my face at my words, but it had the desired effect. Austin cracked up in laughter and I promptly followed.
We sat in silence for a moment after we managed to calm down, watching the large boat finish its turn around the bend.
"Thank you, Megan," he said, quietly but sincerely. I briefly looked around to make sure nobody else had heard that, but we were still alone. Then I smiled and reached over and hugged him.
"We've now met someone," I said to the audience from the stage later that evening. "We caught that glimpse. We realized that we were in love. What do we do about it?"
I held my microphone out toward the crowd, and a number of responses were thrown my way, though I couldn't really make out any of them. Instead, I turned toward Holly and Sophie.
"Holly, Sophie, any ideas?" I asked them.
"You totally have to introduce yourself," Sophie responded immediately.
"No," Holly argued. "That never works. You have to make them notice you."
"You have to make them notice you," I repeated. "Or possibly, you have to get them to open their eyes?" I asked the crowd.
A cheer erupted from the crowd when they realized what song was coming next, and as the quick cheer started to die down it was replaced with a soft tone from Connor's bass for the briefest of moments before Jason's happy, light-hearted melody filled the air.
'Open Your Eyes' had proven to be one of the fan favorites from my first album. It was no different as I continued to sing through the first verse that talked about the boy I loved, yet who had no idea I existed. When I started to vent my frustration during the first chorus, it was even more special when the crowd sang along with me.
Our shared tirade wafted throughout the grandstand, and I knew it could be heard from all around the area. It was such a great release of stress to scream and rant during a chorus like this.
The audience and I quieted down again as I sang the second verse about the awkwardness I felt around the boy of my dreams. I sang about how I had no idea what to do to get his attention. I didn't know how to make him notice me. The crowd sang with me as I ranted and vented once again during the second chorus.
When we quieted down and sung the short, soft verse where he finally opens his eyes, he finally notices me, it was almost deathly quiet other than the soft notes coming from the band and my own words.
But they joined back in with the same fervor as we launched into the altered third chorus, where I got to scream out and tell the whole world how I really felt and how great life was with that boy at my side. And as we started to come down to the peaceful conclusion, there was a palpable hum from the crowd along with us.
Then the entire place erupted into noise again as the crowd cheered in one of the loudest applauses of the evening. I basked in the glow and the warmth that the rush gave me, as I took a sip of my water before continuing. I hadn't written 'Open Your Eyes', but it was definitely my song.
I started scanning the crowd for a potential victim the moment I put my water bottle down. It didn't take me long to find her. She stood out in the crowd with her fiery red hair, but the freckles and the look on her face told me exactly what I needed to know about her.
"You right there, in the purple tee," I said while pointing to her. She screamed in excitement, naturally. "Can you come up here for a moment?" I asked sweetly. She screamed again, and started hopping up and down in excitement, but she eventually started making her way toward the stairs that I pointed to. She was as giddy as a school girl the whole way up the stairs and to the middle of the stage. When she was within three feet of me, she tried to calm herself down and stand still, but she kept fidgeting. I was forced to take a few steps toward her, and I knew immediately she was uncomfortable with me being there. I could still see the giddiness on her face, and I knew that she was excited to be so close to me, but this was definitely outside of her comfort zone.
She looked to be slightly older than me, perhaps 17. She was also quite a bit taller than me, but definitely skinnier. She really was a thin, lanky girl.
"What's your name?" I asked and then held my microphone up to her. She had to lean in to speak, since I was still a step or two away from her.
"Nikki," she replied before straightening out again.
"It's nice to meet you, Nikki," I said. "Where are you from?"
"Cleveland," she replied before straightening out once more. She was really nervous. Then she stepped toward the microphone before I could take it away and spoke again. "I'm your biggest fan!" she squealed before jumping up and down again. But now she was standing right next to me, and didn't seem to be so nervous. I smiled back at her.
"So, Nikki," I continued. "We know we're in love. We've met the guy, and now he's noticed us and we're together, right?"
"Uh huh," she replied while nodding her head vigorously.
"It's happily ever after now, right?" I asked.
She looked confused for a moment, but eventually responded. "Yes?" she replied. Yet the tone of her voice and the uncertainty on her face clearly proved that she was questioning her own answer.
"NO!" the crowd replied. They had apparently clued in on where I was going with this, even if Nikki hadn't.
"No?" I asked of the crowd, but held my microphone out to Nikki once again.
"I guess not," she repeated. Then she lit up like a Christmas tree. "Oh! There's always that phase where you have to get to know each other and work everything out!"
I smiled at her again. I couldn't have said it better myself. "Thank you, Nikki," I told her with a smile. She squealed in delight once again before one of the concert workers appeared to escort her back off the stage. She was reluctant to go, but one look at my smiling face was enough for her to follow the worker. I always wished that I could keep my victims on stage longer, but the choreography for the next song didn't leave much room for them to stand nearby. Luckily, she would receive a nice ‘thank you’ bag from the worker that included a pass to come and meet me after the show.
"Nikki is right," I told the crowd. "Even when two people are destined to be together, there are those little things that can eat away at each other and make the relationship hard. Sometimes it can make you feel like the whole thing isn't worth it. But then you 'Turn Around', and fall in love all over again.”
There was an audible intake of air over the speakers as I took a deep breath to prepare for the fast-paced song, and right on cue I was singing along with the quick pace that the band was setting as they played.
When the first verse started, I started singing about the frustrations that can come in a relationship with a slightly negative, better-than-you attitude. The words came fast, and didn't give me much time to breath in between the lines. It slowed down slightly after the first few lines, but I continued to berate the person I was supposed to love with all the things that he did wrong. Then I sang a short line about how I didn't know if I could continue in the relationship just before we jumped straight into a much happier, loving chorus about how much I still loved him and couldn't see myself without him.
The whole time I had one of the cute male dancers, Aiden, playing along with me, pretending to be my boyfriend. He'd frown and withdraw at my tirade, and then he would come out of his shell during the chorus and we'd move in sync happily.
There was a slight lull in the song just after the end of the chorus, before I started my rant all over again. There were multitudes of things to complain about and hate this guy for, but once again I launched into the chorus at the end, and I expressed the love that still existed between us.
Then the song changed, and I was no longer the negative girlfriend who was poisoning our relationship. Instead, I was the one with her eyes opening, really seeing him for the first time. The dancer and I placed our palms together and circled each other for a moment while the music and voices almost seemed angelic, before we launched back into the fast paced song again, but without the negativity that had made up the earlier parts of the song. We continued to dance together, in a slower, more meaningful dance that helped to show our reconciliation with each other.
When the song came to an end, I had my back pressed against Aiden's chest while he had his arms wrapped around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder.
The crowd roared immediately, and Aiden held me longer than was required, just like he did at every concert. I knew he was hoping that I would stay there for a while, but I still had a concert to perform. More importantly, I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, so he was out of luck. Yet it was always hard to bring myself to be the one who pulled away.
But I was always the one who stepped out of the embrace. And every time I looked back to smile at him, he was always smiling back. I too, had to be the one to break the gaze, which I did as I turned back toward the crowd. As their cheering started to die down, I started to prepare myself for the next song by bringing the microphone up to my mouth.
The loud blare of a ship's horn echoed throughout the venue, surprising me. It was a second later, when I saw many of the crowd laughing, that I realized I had just shrieked into the microphone at the unexpected noise. That reaction had me laughing too.
This wasn't the first ship that had come by during the concert. We'd actually stopped and cheered on one of the captains earlier as he navigated his ship around the bend. But I had been so engrossed in the last song that I hadn't even known this one was passing by.
The big video screen that was a staple at the back of my stage blocked my view of the ship, so I walked over to the edge of the stage to where I could see the ship passing by. I waved into the darkness, which earned me two more toots of the horn in return. I was still smiling and laughing as I returned to center stage, as was much of the crowd.
"Well that was fun," I said into the microphone, eliciting another round of laughs from the stands, and even from those on the stage with me. I took another sip from my water bottle to help compose myself before I continued the concert.
"Love is a roller coaster," I told the crowd once I had placed my water bottle down. "But it's always more fun to ride a roller coaster with someone at your side, right?" I asked. The crowd responded affirmatively, and I had to smile at how wonderful they were.
"I haven't found that special someone in my life yet. But I do know one thing for certain," I continued. "No matter what happens in your life, in your relationships, or in your hearts, it can be overcome, 'Together'."
I lowered my microphone and closed my eyes for the briefest of moments as a loud beat echoed throughout the Pavilion. Connor's bass and Stacy's drums combined to create an experience that could be felt as much as it was heard. After a few seconds I joined them with a short, soft line about how my heart jumped at the first sight of 'him'. Jason then separated my lines with a short strum of his guitar before I continued with a line describing how out of breath I was. A second strum of Jason's guitar wafted throughout the venue before we jumped straight into the first verse. I continued to sing about the glimpses the two of us gave each other as we waited in line at the small ice cream parlor we were in.
Then the song ramped up into the chorus, where we made eye contact, and everything we needed to know about each other was shared in that one brief moment. We were meant to be together.
The song then calmed down again and I repeated the same lines I had at the beginning of the song, but this time I felt my heart pounding and I was breathless as I approached the altar on my wedding day. After the kiss, I looked into his eyes, and we ramped up into the chorus again as we shared another brief moment where words couldn't describe what we had for each other.
The tone of the song shifted slightly after the chorus, and I sang about some of the struggles the two of us faced, and about how strained our relationship had become. I continued to sing about how we were on the brink of losing each other.
But the song then softened once again into a moment where he put his arms around me and squeezed me tightly. I looked up into his eyes, and we moved into the chorus once again as our eyes met and communicated in only the way we could. Everything was resolved in that moment, and the song comes to a close with the brush of my lips on his.
"Together," I sang the last word that coincided with another strum of Jason's guitar, which was followed immediately by the loud roar from the crowd. That song combined the messages and themes of the four songs that preceded it into one culminating moment that was thoroughly enjoyable to perform, and that the crowd seemed to crave.
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The sun was starting to light the sky as our car pulled up to the drop-off point near Rumsey Playfield. The sky was clear and the weather was welcoming as I walked toward the backstage area.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.49 - Central Park by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: August 15, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.49 - Central Park
The rest of the weekend was much more low-key than the previous week had been. After sleeping in slightly longer on Saturday, we spent most of the day traveling in the bus to New York, finally checking into the five-star hotel where we would be spending the entire week. I was given my own suite while the rest of my family was sleeping next door. Saturday night was somewhat lonely but exciting at the same time. It felt weird to have such an expensive room to myself, but I really liked the small sense of independence it gave me.
On Sunday we found a church to attend, sans wig, and then we spent most of the day exploring Central Park. I'd seen the park in movies and read about it in books, but I never realized how large the place truly was. My feet hurt by the time we got back to the hotel. Yet we had only seen a fraction of what Mom and Dad had hoped to see before Austin and I started whining about walking so much. We spent the rest of the day lounging around the hotel, and I even put some face time in with the wig at the pool when I hung out with the band and the dancers.
On Monday morning we attended a meeting to discuss the concerts and any changes that were required. The Central Park concert would occur during the day and it would be on a smaller than normal stage, so there was plenty to talk about. Then I had another meeting with Dad and Amy where we discussed the appearances I would be making. In addition, I was also helping to debut The Jive on Friday, and appearing on 'The Scene' on Wednesday. 'The Scene' was a teen-oriented talk show similar to 'The View', so it would definitely be an interesting experience.
After the meetings were finished, Mom and Dad once again chose where we were headed, and we quickly found ourselves heading downtown toward Ground Zero. I was too young to really remember much of what had happened on September 11, 2001. Austin had been even younger. I couldn't figure out why my parents were so adamant about visiting, but it didn't take either of us long before we were glad to be there.
Walking around and seeing the rebuilding efforts, the tributes, and the memorials touched me. I didn't know any of the people whose lives had been drastically changed that day. I didn't know any of the people who had lost their lives. But the overwhelming feeling of despair that I expected to feel surrounding the area was not there. There was still a solemn hush to the area, but what surrounded us there was enough progress toward moving forward that it gave hope for the future. I had tears in my eyes more than once during our visit, and I was very glad that I had my mom to hug and hold me tight.
The rest of the evening was subdued as I tried to come to terms with what I had seen. Amy had volunteered me to read to some young kids at a local library, and as I compared what I had seen earlier in the day to the bright futures that these children had before them, I almost felt overwhelmed at the ability of the human spirit to adapt and change to the world around us. I didn't know if any of these had been affected by the tragedy, but they certainly didn't dwell on it. Their love for both the time I was spending with them, and the stories that they had chosen, proved to me that life could go on, and I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure that they got a chance to live life to the fullest.
The next day, the sun was starting to light the sky as our car pulled up to the drop-off point near Rumsey Playfield. The sky was clear and the weather was welcoming as I walked toward the backstage area, with Cole and Mason at my side. My family would be joining us later, but there was still plenty of work to do before the concert started in just over 90 minutes.
I barely had enough time to drop off my personal belongings in the small dressing room that had been provided for me. Then I was escorted straight to the stage for a sound check. The small venue was already full, so it was a very different experience to play for a crowd before the concert even started. They cheered just as hard when we were finished, and I loved it. Then I made my way backstage once more.
But I didn't get any rest because I was immediately escorted to a number of backstage interviews: some from Good Morning USA and others from a couple of local radio stations. This was different from other concert mornings because these interviews were conducted in person rather than over the phone. After the interviews, I finally got to sit down in my dressing room for a moment and prepare myself for the concert. Before I knew it, I was being escorted back out to the stage.
This concert would be different for several reasons. First, it was early in the morning (for me, anyway), so there was no cover of darkness to hide the transitions between the songs and when I was changing. Second, the stage was smaller than what I normally performed on. The dancers and I had practiced for this concert during the week we were doing dress rehearsals. But that was two weeks ago, and I hoped that we would be able to remember what we were supposed to do. But the oddest difference of all was that I was going to be interviewed on stage before the concert started.
"We're just a few minutes away from the start of the concert," I heard a male voice say as I approached the stage. "We have an exciting show for you this morning, but first we wanted to bring Sarah out and talk to her for a bit. Is that okay with all of you?"
The cheering from the crowd seemed to be an affirmative answer, and my microphone was handed to me a moment before 'You Can't Hurt Me' started playing through the speakers. I took a few steps forward before I could see the crowd, and I started waving while walking toward the two people who were waiting for me. They were standing next to three chairs in the middle of the stage that had been arranged like a talk show set. I gave Darrel and Gabrielle, two correspondents with Good Morning USA, a quick hug before taking a seat in the indicated chair.
"These are dedicated fans!" Darrel exclaimed as Gabi and he took their own seats.
"I know!" I replied, completely agreeing with him. "I hate waking up this early, so it is so sweet to have so many people willing to spend the time to come down and join me!"
"Not much of a morning person, huh?" Gabi asked me, cueing in on what I had said.
I laughed lightly as I shook my head before I responded. "I prefer to sleep in. I always thought that summer vacation was the time when you got to sleep in, but that certainly hasn't been the case this year."
There was some lighthearted laughter from the two hosts and from the crowd.
"Well, we're glad you're up this early," Gabi replied before turning toward the audience. "Right?" They cheered in response to let me know how happy they were too.
"I'm happy to be here," I said as soon as the noise had died down a bit.
"Speaking of summer vacation," Darrel spoke. "Are you still planning on attending school as normal, or have you changed your mind about trying to fit in?"
I cringed inwardly. Questions like this could lead to problems if not handled correctly, and I wasn't entirely sure what to tell them. I wanted to tell them the truth, but that would just lead to more questions later.
"I would still like to go to school normally," I replied. "But I'm still evaluating all of my options. I've met with the principal of my school about some of the issues of returning, and he is willing to let me come back. But having a tutor would definitely make my schedule easier to accommodate, so I'm looking into that too."
"Fair enough," Darrel replied to my non-answer. I just hoped that would keep all of the media happy until we could figure out how best to handle the situation. I would have to talk to Dad and Amy later.
"I couldn't help but notice that your microphone is all blinged-out," Gabi broke in, relieving my fears that Darrel would continue asking me questions I did not want to answer. "It even has your name on the side there. I'm going to have to complain to our sound guys that I don't have such a cool microphone."
I smiled widely, and laughed lightly once again while I held out the white microphone for a moment to allow the camera to get a good view of it. Then I brought it up to my mouth to reply.
"My manager, whom I've known my entire life, gave this to me on the day of my first concert," I explained. "I've used it for every one of my performances so far."
The rest of the interview went better, and we didn't drift into any questions that I didn't want to answer. Keeping Sarah's secret was very difficult, but it was also vital to the hopes and dreams I had for the future. I wanted to go back to school instead of being tutored. I wanted to go to college someday. I wanted to be able to walk down the street without being deluged by adoring fans and autograph seekers all of the time.
I knew one thing was for certain as I stepped backstage once again while they worked to remove the chairs and finish preparations for the concert:
I needed a better plan to keep Sarah a secret.
The crowd roared as I finished singing 'Together' for them. I truly admired their enthusiasm in the face of what had happened.
Just moments into the song I'd heard a curse come from behind me. I hoped that the audience hadn't heard it, and I wondered if I needed to stop singing, but since Stacy hadn't stopped, I kept going. However, it was quickly apparent that there was a problem. He did his best to play through the song that had a heavy drum beat, but some of those beats were missing, or very subdued and out of tune. This had happened during practice before, but never during a concert.
As the crowd continued to applaud, I turned and looked at Stacy with a questioning look. The subtle shake of his head was enough to indicate that we wouldn't be able to continue until he replaced the head on one of his drums.
I turned back to the crowd. "Give it up for Stacy!" I told them, which caused some laughter to erupt around the venue. Another quick glance back at Stacy showed me the sour look he was giving to me. But he was playing it up. I knew he was upset, but I could still see the small curl at the corner of his mouth that let me know I could poke fun of him. He was already unscrewing the top of his drum to replace the broken head with the replacement that a technician had already brought out on stage.
"While he takes a moment to fix his drum, how about we--", I started to say. I didn't stop talking, but I did stop hearing myself in the speakers. I tried to repeat what I said, but it was no use. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled wanly at the crowd, which got another round of laughter. Then another sound tech was standing next to me and I handed him my microphone. With a practiced ease he pulled out the battery and quickly replaced it. All I could do was stand there, embarrassed at how the whole concert had just gone south as he worked.
This was the worst concert for this to happen too! We were trying to keep a schedule so that Good Morning USA could broadcast specific performances throughout their show, and now we were totally off schedule. Ugh! Finally, the tech handed the microphone back to me, and I thanked him before he ran off the stage. I looked back at Stacy. He was still working diligently, but it was going to be another minute or two before he was ready. The crowd was looking on patiently.
"Good thing this is a free concert, huh?" I asked the crowd, which caused another round of laughter to erupt briefly before people started cheering. I knew they were telling us that they were here for the long haul, but I still felt like we were letting them down.
I tried to entertain them the best I could while we waited. I even enlisted Jason to give us a guitar solo. Eventually, Stacy was ready and he played a short solo himself to make sure he had tuned the repaired drum correctly. Another loud roar erupted from the crowd and I turned and clapped for Stacy too. I wasn't certain, but it almost looked like he started to blush at the attention.
Before I was able to start the concert again, Rosemary spoke through my earpiece and informed me of the repercussions. As I feared, we had to drop three songs to get us back on schedule. Fortunately, all of them were cover songs that came later in the show. We had just played a song for the TV crowd before this fiasco began, so we still had some time before we needed to be ready again. I sighed and brought the microphone to my mouth once again.
"How many of you want to be rock stars?" I asked the crowd. Naturally, most of them screamed back their desire, just like I knew they would. "It's a lot of fun," I continued when they had quieted down. "From parties to red carpets to special treatment in stores and restaurants. Who could ask for more? Who wouldn't want to be a 'Pop Princess'?"
A loud beat from Stacy and an accompanying chord from Jason and Connor signaled the beginning of the song. After a short intro from the two of them I launched into the song with a tone that made me sound like a stuck-up Hollywood celebrity.
This song was fun. It was such a farce to what my life was truly like. People didn't wait on me hand and foot. I hadn't attended a single party as Sarah. I had only been on a red carpet once. But the concept was great, and Kate had paired it with some awesome choreography. The dancers would help act out some of the scenes from the song as we danced around the stage. They'd show me different clothes at an expensive clothing store, treat me to a good meal at a fancy restaurant, and snap pictures of me on the red carpet. The whole time I acted like nothing but a stuck-up young girl that had lost touch with reality. All of these people were beneath me and existed only to make my life more comfortable.
It wasn't a negative song in any way. On the contrary, it existed to make fun of the celebrities who put themselves on pedestals. It existed to remind me of what I did NOT want to become. It existed to show my fans that I wasn't like that.
I was out of breath, but I had a smile on my face as the song came to a close. The crowd cheered and I retrieved my water bottle before continuing.
"The fabulous life of a superstar, right?" I asked the crowd.
"No!" was the satisfying response. There was always someone who took the song wrong and assumed I was a pretentious newcomer to the music scene. But that wasn't the case here. This crowd could hear the sarcasm that was dripping from the song that the record company had provided to me to help get my career going.
"No?" I questioned. "But isn't that what everyone wants? To be treated like royalty?"
Their response was laced with confusion now. They had heard the sarcasm, but they couldn't understand where I was going.
"It's not what I want," I told them. "In fact, I want to be treated just like anyone else. This summer has shown me how much life can change with a little fame. But I'm no different than you guys. I still walk down the street, shop at the mall, and eat fast food. In fact, I'm happiest when people don't recognize me and I just get to be myself. "
I paused for a moment and looked up into the spotlight. "But I really do enjoy being a 'Rock Star'."
A cheer escaped the crowd as Jason and Stacy once again provided the soft intro to the song that I had used to introduce myself to the world. It felt like it had been a lifetime since I lifted my microphone to my mouth for the first time in Salt Lake City earlier this summer. In some ways, it had been a different life altogether. I wasn't the same person I was back then.
But the cover of the Hannah Montana song said it all. I really was a rock star. As I sang the song that was nearly a polar opposite of 'Pop Princess', I had to smile. This song did so much more to describe my life. It talked about all the things a normal girl would aspire to do or be. It talked about how nervous I was. It showed that I was a normal teenager. And it proved that I could do all of that and still be successful in this industry.
The choreography for this song was also fairly easy to do. It provided anyone in the audience who wanted to join us a chance to dance along in their seats. Seeing so many people taking the opportunity and waving their hands around while I did was always an awesome sight!
Because truthfully, they were all rock stars too. Even though I was the one on stage, every one of them had a talent or an ability that I would never have.
As Jason's solo piece came to a conclusion, I was cheering and clapping along with every single fan in the audience. They deserved as much of the applause for this one as everyone on stage did.
When the noise levels dropped, I returned the microphone to its stand before speaking to the crowd once again.
"I hope you all found your inner rock star tonight," I said. "Because from up here, you guys all rocked!"
They started to cheer themselves on again as the screen at the back of the stage lit up with another short video. This one showed the band and me talking about how we got started. I quickly headed for my second costume change as the crowd's attention was drawn to the video.
I took another bow as the crowd continued to roar. I had just finished my encore, but I wasn't finished yet. Normally I would leave the stage for the night now. Instead I held my ground while the crowd started to settle down.
"Thank you, everyone," I said sincerely a moment later. "Before I leave you this morning, I have one more thing I'd like to share with you."
The last remaining noise from the audience started to quiet down at the serious tone in my voice. I took a deep breath, not entirely sure how to introduce the next part. I had warned the band that I was going to do this earlier, but we hadn't rehearsed anything.
"I had the opportunity to visit Ground Zero yesterday morning," I told the crowd. "It hit me just how proud I am to be an American. I want to share that with you today, if you don't mind."
We didn't have the right instruments in the band for this song, but as I looked at Jason and saw him nod at me in encouragement, I knew it would work out in the end. He started playing the opening bars to “God Bless America”.
Jason continued to play until I started to sing. Then he stopped playing as I began the first verse, softly and unaccompanied. An even bigger hush settled over the crowd as I continued singing. Jason joined in with a soft melody as I sang about the mountains and the prairies. He accompanied me as I sang through the rest of the verse, and as I finished singing "My home, sweet home," for the first time the rest of the band joined in, playing and singing a tune that I knew they must have practiced at some point.
"Sing it with me!" I told the crowd. With a lot more energy and power than my solo rendition, I joined in with the nearly 5,000 people in attendance as we sang through the song once again with the familiar music being provided by the wonderful band who performed with me. Then we sang it again, building up to a very powerful "God Bless America" before the music suddenly ceased.
With only a very soft tone accompanying me, I sang the last "God bless America, my home, sweet, home," quietly and proudly for everyone that could hear me before the entire venue fell into silence. Only the soft sniffles and quiet sobs broke the peace for a few moments before the clapping started. There was no loud cheering or roaring from the crowd, just applause.
I bowed once more for them, this time more slowly, before I turned and headed off stage, tears running down my own cheeks.
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Every day that I stepped out as Sarah brought the risk that the secret would be revealed. The more I interacted with people who knew me, the greater the chance that they would see through my disguise. And there were the missing parts of Sarah's life that people would start to question.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.50 - Scenic Interview by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: August 22, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.50 - Scenic Interview
We returned to the hotel at about one in the afternoon. I promptly crawled into my bed and fell asleep. It had been a taxing morning, and I slept until evening, replenishing the energy I had used up performing. I awoke just long enough to eat and watch a movie with my family in my hotel suite.
When they left, I marveled once again at how odd it was to be alone. My hotel suite was connected to my parents’ suite by a door in the main room, but with the door closed as they got ready for bed, it was quieter than it had ever been. I knew that we had two suites to keep up the appearance that I wasn't related to them, but it felt so liberating to have my own hotel suite that I just wanted to shout out how cool it was!
I had slept so long that sleep wasn’t coming anytime soon, so I sat and stared out my window for a while. I thought about where my life had gone, and I marveled at how much I had changed over the summer. At no time during the last few months had anyone even considered that I wasn't the young woman that I knew I was. I was worried about what would happen when I went back to school, because I had to interact with everyone who had known me before. It wasn't going to be easy to convince some of them that I had always been a girl, and some of them could refuse to accept it. But I would do my best. As long as I could keep myself from getting beaten up, then I'd be happy with the results.
Besides, I had another life to occupy my time outside of school. No matter how much I might get hassled or pushed around in the hallways, I'd have people fawning over and clamoring to get near me when I put on the wig.
I didn't know how long we'd be able to keep Sarah's true identity a secret from the world. I would do my best to keep it going as long as I could. I didn't want the fame and fortune that I received while out as Sarah to happen to me as Megan. I wanted the nice quiet life that the secret gave me. But that just didn't seem like something that we could feasibly do in the long run. Every day that I stepped out as Sarah brought the risk that the secret would be revealed. The more I interacted with people who knew me, the greater the chance that they would see through my disguise. And there were the missing parts of Sarah's life that people would start to question.
That was the subject that was apparently on everyone’s' minds when I arrived on the set of 'The Scene' the next day. I had barely been seated on the soft, short couch in the middle of the semicircle that formed the main "stage" of the show when the four beautiful hosts in their early 20's started to grill me. Two of the hosts, Jamie and Carly, sat on the identical couch angled to my left while the other two, Tara and Jackie, sat on the one to my right. I knew the spot next to me would be filled by their second guest later in the show.
"So, Sarah," Jamie started the discussion. "You're a bit of an enigma, you know."
"An enigma?" I questioned, wondering where she was going with her thought.
"Yes," she replied. "You're the hottest new star hitting the music circuit this summer, yet we hardly know anything about you. You disappear when you aren't performing. We haven't met your family. You never show up at any Hollywood parties. There's even one rumor that you were born a boy and you’re just pretending to be a girl with a wig and some padding."
My jaw dropped for a moment before I choked out my shocked laughter at her last comment. It was way too close to the truth that not even those who knew that I was really Megan were aware of. I hadn't heard the rumor, but I wasn't happy to find out that it existed. The crowd was quick to join in with an uncomfortable laughter that at least let me know they didn't believe that last one, thank goodness.
All four hosts were looking at me expectantly now, waiting to see how I responded to the barrage that had been thrown at me.
"Well, I can guarantee that I was never a boy," I started before I had to stop and chuckle again. The crowd joined me. I hadn't ever considered these ramifications before, but if the secret ever got out then I'd have to deal with all the problems of uncertainty in my gender that I'd have at school with the world. That would be a public relations nightmare, and it gave me an extra incentive to keep the secret a secret. I had irrefutable proof showing that I was female, but I knew that not everyone would believe it. I couldn't imagine dealing with that in the spotlight that Sarah was always standing in.
"I don't know," Tara said before pointing at the bottom of the skirt I was wearing. "Those legs look too perfect to be naturally female. I always heard that guys had the better legs."
There was more laughter around the studio, but it was all in jest. Nobody seemed to take the accusations seriously. I had been blessed with Mom's good looks. Even if I had grown up believing myself to be a boy, I didn't have the DNA of one.
"Seriously though," Carly cut in. "Why don't we see you in the news very often?"
"She's always in the news," Jackie argued.
"Yes," Carly agreed. "But, she rarely makes the tabloids or anything."
Jackie conceded to Carly's point, and they both turned to hear my answer.
I shrugged. "I don't go out much," I told them. "I don't drink. I don't do drugs. The party scene isn't something that has ever interested me. I'd much rather hang out with my friends and do something fun."
"I can buy that," Jamie said. "I mean, you usually don't get a reputation as a good girl in this industry if it isn't true."
There was some shared laughter between the hosts about that statement. Apparently it wasn't a completely true statement, but it was nice to know they considered me a "good" girl.
"Family then," Tara interjected. "Where's your family?"
I sighed, which had the effect of making the hosts perk up in excitement. I'd spent all summer trying to avoid this topic. This was one of the easiest ways for the secret to be revealed, so I needed to be careful.
"I love my family," I told them to start. Tara and Jackie nodded their heads. "But they have opted to try to stay out of the spotlight. As much as I wish I could have them with me at some of the things I get to do now, I'm going to respect their wishes. It's the best thing for my family right now, and I hope that people will respect that."
Carly frowned at my answer. I knew it wasn't what they wanted to hear. "So your manager isn't your father?" she asked point blank.
I laughed again. At least my nervousness at how close to the truth they were had the benefit of coming off as showing how ridiculous these questions were. At least, I hoped that was how it appeared, instead of the nervous laughter it really was.
"No," I finally replied. "Don is not my father. I've known him and his family my entire life. His daughter Megan is a close friend and is one of my personal assistants. His wife is like a second mother to me. But no, they aren't my family. I've been living with them for much of the summer, and we're pretty close, but they are still just friends."
"How do you explain this then?" Jackie said in a slightly accusing tone and pointed to one of the many monitors on the walls of the studio. I turned to look. What I saw were pictures of Mom and me. The first was at the hospital after my surgery where she was helping me out to the limo with Dad on my other side. Another showed where she had her arms wrapped around me after the ill-fated press conference. A third appeared to be at one of the concerts, where she was giving me a hug before I went on stage. "She looks like she could be your mother."
I was shocked, to say the least. I had wanted my mom to be involved in my career, but now it looked like it could be the lynchpin that blew the whole thing wide open! I had to fight back the tears that I could feel building while trying to think about an answer. I didn't think that Dad and Amy would have booked this interview if they knew it was going to be like this, and I was certain that they were fuming back stage. But I had to press on now if I was going to get out of this with the secret intact.
"Look," I said, and I made certain that the look on my face was enough to let them know they had crossed a line. Tara, Jamie, and Carly all looked admonished, though Jackie still looked like she wanted to press the issue. "She's not my mom. But she is the closest thing to my real mom I could ask for. My dad travels a lot for his work. My mom usually goes with him. I spent a lot of my childhood over at my manager's house. They’ve treated me like their daughter, and I'm glad to have them in my life."
I paused to wipe away one of the tears that had managed to escape. "My parents have been in Europe all summer," the lies continued to flow. "I don't blame them for being away. My dad's job is important. But I missed not having someone there for me as I got signed and started singing for a living. Don and Linda cannot replace my real parents, but they are the two best people who can fill those shoes until my own parents are around again."
I sniffed, and Carly reached out and placed her hand comfortingly on my shoulder while Tara handed me a tissue. I dabbed at my eyes to clean up the tears the best I could without smearing my makeup.
"I'm sorry I can't tell you some things," I continued. "It's not because I don't want to. It's because I can't."
This was the first time that I had outright lied about the secret. Before it was always partial truths and misdirections. Everything I said had come straight from the back story we had created early in the summer for these situations, but these words today had felt hollow and meaningless as I spoke them. I didn't like lying to my fans, but that was exactly what I had just done.
"I'm sorry," Jackie offered. But it was too late. I'd already decided that I hated her. She had pushed a point much further than she needed to, and that was uncalled for. I was positive that Dad and Amy were already backstage threatening all kinds of legal things at the show's producers.
"Moving on," Carly said quickly. "How is the concert tour going?"
I was more guarded as I replied. But only Jackie had forced the issue so far, and Carly had actually been quite nice.
"The tour is going great," I replied, trying to be nice even after what had happened. "We're about half way through the shows already, and it has been a lot of fun. And a lot of work."
There was some chuckling at my last statement. "Most reviews seem to indicate that you put on quite a performance at your concerts. I know I'm looking forward to seeing you on Saturday. But seating is limited. Have you thought about playing some larger venues on the tour to allow more of your fans to see a show?"
"Thank you," I said to the compliment she had given me. "I know both my manager and my studio rep. wish that we were playing bigger venues. The tour was finalized before my album even went on sale, and none of us were ready for how popular I seem to have become. We wanted to have a small tour that could help get my name out there, but that doesn't seem to be a problem anymore."
"You have captured the hearts of many people this summer," Tara said. "How have you handled all of the attention?"
"For the most part, a lot of my life hasn't changed," I told her and the studio audience. "I still do many of the same things that I did before signing a record deal. It's harder to go out now, but most people are respectful and leave me alone. I'm always willing to sign an autograph or take a picture for anyone who asks, if I can."
I paused for a moment to gather my thoughts. "The hardest part has been trying to keep my private life private," I continued. "I know that people want to know everything about me. That's unfortunately part of the price you pay for fame. This morning has been no exception."
I looked over at Jackie, and I had to smile, albeit slightly, as she cringed and her shoulders dropped.
"I'm not trying to hide from everybody," I said. "I'm just trying to live my life normally. I'm willing to interact with my fans. I'm willing to answer questions about my life and what I like. I'm willing to do a lot of things. But there are some things I am NOT willing to share, and I'd hope that people will respect that."
"Again, I'm really sorry," Jackie said. I could tell that she was, too. Jackie had always been the host that I disliked the most when I had a chance to watch this show. She was often too pushy. I'd seen enough of the show to realize that.
"I know," I told her. "I'm sure that my reluctance to share information will make some people upset, and make other people want to learn the information even more. But I'm going to live my life my way. If that means trying to keep some secrets, then I will. I've written a number of songs that tell the world that I'm going to live by my own rules, and not what other people want me to be. I didn't write them just because they sound good."
All four hosts were nodding their heads at that pronouncement.
After that, the discussion turned more toward the topics that were affecting teenagers and how we felt about them. That was more of what I expected from this show, and it was a much better conversation. I knew that this morning was going to be the cause of a bad media storm, both about me and about Jackie, but there wasn't anything I could do about it now. I could only continue to talk with them and show them that I was a real human being. Hopefully that would be enough for everyone who wanted to know more about me.
Callie Townsend, an actress who wasn't much older than me, joined us for the second half of the show, and I was mercifully grateful to have the attention shift her way for a while. She was smart and kind and not much different from me, so she was a good fit to our discussions.
Finally, the show started to wind down, and I couldn't wait to get out of the studio and back to the hotel. It was safe there. I could be myself there. I didn't have to hide my family there.
"Do you two have any plans for your stay in New York?" Carly asked as we were wrapping up. I waited for Callie to speak, and when it was my turn, I knew what I wanted to say.
"I have a few places I'd like to visit," I told them. "Plus I have a couple of appearances I have to make before the concert on Saturday. But for now I'm going to go back to my hotel, hug my manager's wife to let her know how much she means to me, and then I'm going to call my mom."
There was some chuckling as the show ended, and I said my goodbyes to the hosts. Generally, they had been pretty nice and courteous during the show, but that didn't mean that Jackie hadn't hurt me.
The rest of the afternoon was spent being tourists again. We visited some of the places I had always wanted to see when I thought about New York. But the best part was that I got to take off the wig and enjoy the time with my family. After the drama that had encompassed the show, I was able to really appreciate just how much they meant to me. I couldn't imagine anyone else taking their place in my life.
I knew that my life was not going to be easy. Between the problems I was sure to encounter at school, to trying to figure out how to handle Sarah Carerra and her secret, I had enough stress to give me an ulcer. But I also had faith that things would turn out alright.
My family had accepted me as Megan. I hoped that the majority of people at school would too. It wasn't like I could go back and start over. I was stuck being Megan as much as I was stuck living with my parents. And they had been pretty clear that I wouldn't be moving out anytime soon (not that I wanted to). I couldn't go back to the way things were before this summer started even if I wanted to, which I most definitely did not. I was Megan, and that was exactly who I wanted to be.
But what really made my day was what we found while walking past a newsstand after dinner. Austin was the one who saw it, and he busted out laughing before he could show us. He picked up one of the tabloids well-known for stretching the truth and held it up for me.
"Sarah Carerra Confirms her Parents are Spies," the headline screamed. I laughed harder than I had in a long time. Mom, Dad, and Austin did the same.
Dad paid for the paper so that we could take it home and enjoy it before he hailed a taxi to take us back to the hotel.
"Come on, everyone," he said while opening the cab door so that we could all squeeze in. "I have a mission tomorrow, and I need a good night's sleep."
That got us laughing again, and I knew the taxi driver thought we were insane tourists as he drove us back to the hotel. I didn't care. We probably were insane.
But most importantly, we were together.
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Soon the lights dimmed, and a hush fell over the crowd. The excitement in the air was palpable, and it reminded me of the anticipation I always felt as I approached the stage for one of my concerts. I couldn't believe that people were so excited about a music player, even if it was ten times better than my iPod had been!
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.51 - Jive the Day Away by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: August 29, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.51 - Jive the Day Away
When we awoke the next morning, Austin was more excited than he had been the entire trip. I had made a promise to Austin earlier this summer. I promised him that he could pick something that he wanted to do while we were in New York, and we would do it. I had been afraid of what he would decide to do, but when he had told us that he wanted to go to a New York Yankees baseball game, I smiled broadly. Austin was so predictable.
I had the entire day off for the first time since we had arrived in New York. No meetings, no concerts, no appearances - nothing. I couldn't ask for a better day to spend with my family, and we decided to really enjoy our time together.
The Yankees were playing the Detroit Tigers in an afternoon game, so we had plenty of time to walk around the Bronx Zoo in the morning. I was amazed at how many different animals and other things there were to see and do. We could have spent all day there, but unfortunately, we had to leave to make it to the baseball game long before we were ready to go.
The game was a lot of fun too. It had been a while since we had gone to a baseball game together. Dad and Austin often went to games, but Mom and I usually didn't join them. However, having us girls with them didn't seem to dampen their enthusiasm at all. The Yankees even managed to pull off a win, which made the two boys even happier.
After the game, we headed back to the Theatre District, where our hotel was located. I really wanted to see a Broadway show, but my schedule for the week didn't allow us to fit one in. I promised myself that I would go to a show the next time I was in New York. Instead, we decided to spend some time walking around before eating at one of the many restaurants nearby.
Austin's enthusiasm for the day dropped slightly when Mom and I started wandering into clothing stores as we walked around, but the food we eventually got around to eating certainly made up for it.
As I climbed in between my covers, I knew that today had been the best day I had spent in New York all week. The only thing that topped it was performing my concert, and in two days I would get to perform another.
Friday morning came all too soon, and with it came the need to get back to work. The Jive debut was occurring at a technology conference here in New York just before lunch. But the company wanted me there early to review what would be expected, and a car showed up at the hotel just after eight. Dad joined me in the back and Mason climbed in next to the driver, and soon we were heading to the conference center.
When we arrived, we exited the car and headed for the main doors with many other people. We were intercepted quickly by Michael Stott, however. He was the man whom I had met with when the Jive people first contacted me to endorse their product.
"Hi, Sarah," he said smiling widely. He looked positively excited for the debut of his product, and it infected my mood immediately.
"Hi, Michael," I replied while smiling back. He handed me something, and I took it before getting a good look at it. It turned out to be a pass into the conference that had my name and picture on it, and stated that I was a presenter for the company that made the Jive. Having the red pass of a presenter quickly made me stand out to everyone else. Most people, including Dad and Mason, were wearing yellow passes around their necks. I knew that standing out came with a cost though, since I'd be on stage later in the day, but it totally made me feel more important.
We made our way through the floor of the conference toward the section that had been set aside for the Jive, only stopping a few times to sign autographs or take pictures. Most of the Jive area was covered in black to prevent people from seeing the images of the Jive that I was sure were hidden underneath. Only one section that showed the Jive logo was visible, but the number of people crowded around the area and the buzz in the air showed just how much anticipation the device was getting. The Jive they had given to me to use had certainly impressed the people who had seen me using it, and the media storm around today's unveiling had certainly been big.
Michael led me through the crowd and into a hidden presentation room at the back that had couches and chairs facing a video screen. A number of people were inside, but their talking stopped as soon as they caught sight of me.
Michael started the introductions. Most of the people in the small room were executives for the company. The others were involved in the debut presentation or the floor display. There were a lot of names to remember, but it quickly became apparent which ones I could forget and which ones I needed to remember. The important ones were those individuals whom I would be working with today. Fortunately, everyone wore a name badge that made remembering their names easier.
After the introductions were completed, we launched straight into a meeting to make sure that everyone was on the same page for the day. It was exciting to be involved in something of this magnitude! If I wasn't mistaken, this presentation was supposed to be the biggest announcement of the entire conference! And while I only had a small part to play in the presentation, I was overwhelmed at being included in such a momentous occasion.
The meeting took most of the morning, and before I knew it, we were walking through the conference floor once again toward the theater that was attached to the conference center, where the presentation was going to take place. Most of the people attending were already inside, and Dad, Mason, and I were led down toward the front row where three seats had been saved for us. After sitting down, I felt the anticipation in the room grow. We had passed by the majority of the people in the theater, and the hushed whispers that followed all seemed to question what part I would play in the proceedings. I smiled at the anticipation I brought to the table.
Soon the lights dimmed, and a hush fell over the crowd. The excitement in the air was palpable, and it reminded me of the anticipation I always felt as I approached the stage for one of my concerts. I couldn't believe that people were so excited about a music player, even if it was ten times better than my iPod had been!
Silence filled the dark theater for a few moments, extending the excitement throughout the room. Then a number of screens lit up around the stage and on the sides of the room, each showing the same scene. A white room appeared with a small table in the middle. I recognized the room immediately, and my own excitement grew ten-fold at seeing the opening of my Jive commercial for the first time.
The camera was focused on the Jive, giving everyone a good look at the new device as it sat in a small stand on the table. There were “oohs” and “ahhs” and clapping from all over the theater at their first glimpse. Then the camera started to pull back, showing more of the stark, white room. When I stepped into the shot from the left, another cheer shot through the crowd, which brought a smile to my face immediately.
In a quiet silence, I walked straight toward the table that held the Jive. The sparkling light pink dress I wore contrasted against the white of the room. The clack of my heels against the tile floor was the only noise that echoed around the theater.
When I reached the Jive, I picked up the signature ear buds the device came with and slipped them in my ears before picking up the device.
The video changed to show a first-person view of someone operating the device. I was confused for a moment, since those were definitely not my hands on screen, but I watched as she navigated through the music until 'You Can't Hurt Me' had been selected. Then her thumb moved until it was resting over the 'Play' button. The commercial then cut back to the wide-angle shot of the room, where I had a very sensuous, playful look on my face for a moment before I pressed down on the button.
An explosion of color burst forth from the device, morphing the entire room into a stage as 'You Can't Hurt Me' started playing throughout the theater. Everything was different. The band was behind me, the crowd was roaring all around us. I was singing my heart out. But through it all, the two wires coming from my ears led straight to the Jive that I held in my right hand, in place of the microphone I normally used.
Singing into the Jive like it was a microphone seemed a little silly to me now, just like it had when we filmed the commercial over a month ago, but the image was very powerful. I had been confused about what the commercial was actually going to be about the day we shot it, but now it all made sense to me. I smiled at the same time that I started to rock to the beat of the song in my seat.
I continued to watch as my image danced and performed on the screen. The rush I normally felt on stage was building just looking at my moves, and I couldn't wait until I was on stage again tomorrow night.
Eventually, the song started to wind down, and as it came to a conclusion, the color that had exploded onto the screen quickly started to retreat into the Jive I still held in my hands, revealing the stark white room once more.
A smile of pure satisfaction graced my pretty face as it finished, and I placed the Jive back where I had found it before removing the ear buds and placing them alongside the device. Then I turned and walked off the screen to the right.
After I was off the screen, a tag line appeared in the middle: ‘Jive - Experience your music.’ Then the entire theater faded to black once more, leaving only the words gracing the screen.
The crowd erupted into the loudest cheer of the morning. Some of them started to stand, and I found myself among them. Soon, nearly everyone was standing and clapping as a spotlight lit the stage, illuminating Brad Johnston, whom I had been introduced to earlier that morning as the Executive Director of Development for the Jive earlier in the morning. He continued to get an ovation until the words on the screen were replaced with images of the device.
"Welcome!" he said loudly to help quiet the crowd down. We took our seats again, and he moved on to introducing the device and talking about all of the features it had. It was really odd to hear him talk about everything it could do and see the people around me listening with baited breath at nearly every bullet point on his list. I reached down and pulled my own Jive out of my purse and started to follow along with him. Dad was on my left, and Mason was on my right, preventing anyone from leaning in, but the people around me certainly took notice of what I was doing.
It was as he was winding down that I started to get ready. I handed my purse to Dad for safekeeping, while keeping my Jive in my hands.
"But I don't want you to take my word for it," Brad continued on stage after finishing his spiel. "I'd like you to hear the opinion of someone who has been using the device for the last two months. Sarah?"
He turned in my direction, but I was already out of my seat and walking toward the stairs that would lead onto the stage. The crowd started applauding again at my appearance, and continued to do so as I made my way over to where Brad was standing. He broke out into a huge smile when he saw that I was carrying a Jive. That hadn't been part of the plan, but it seemed like the right thing to do to me.
"Hello, everyone," I said, hoping that the mic I had been wired with earlier was working. Hearing my voice echo throughout the theater confirmed that it was.
I held up my Jive to let the crowd see that I had one. "This is my Jive," I told them. "When I was first approached with the opportunity to be involved with the Jive, I wasn't sure what to think. My manager was really excited about the opportunity, but I couldn't imagine life without my iPod. But the first day after I started using it, I was hooked. It is really intuitive to use, and getting music onto the thing is so much easier. Now, I can't imagine going back to an iPod."
"So you like it?" Brad asked.
I was nodding my head as I replied. "Definitely," I told him. The crowd started to cheer, and after shaking Brad's hand I started to return to my seat. It was only a brief presentation on my part, but I had been assured by many marketing people throughout the morning that it was going to sell a ton of Jives for them. They were paying me enough for my endorsement for me to know that selling more meant continuing our relationship, and continuing our relationship meant making a lot of money. Honestly, I was just happy to have received a Jive for free.
But I hadn't had to lie about my endorsement up on stage. I truly did love my Jive.
Mason ordered me to wait at the front of the theater while everyone else left first. He also kept away anyone who wanted an autograph. I didn't like having to turn fans away, and some of them looked saddened too, but I had been asked not to sign any autographs or talk with fans inside the theater. The next presentation was only minutes away, and they wanted to make sure there was enough time to get everyone out before the new people came in.
Besides, I was going to be at the Jive booth all afternoon where I would be signing autographs and talking up the Jive at every opportunity. The more I smiled and attracted people to the booth, the more units the company would sell. That was the general idea, anyway. All it meant was that I had a chance to text Emily and tell her how awesome the commercial was. I knew it would make her jealous again, and I got some sick pleasure in torturing my best friends a bit. Torturing them for not being here was the one way that I could cope with missing them. Of course, they kept torturing me with pictures of the beach and of all the fun things they were doing without me, so perhaps we were even.
When we were finally able to leave the theater and make our way back toward the section where the Jive was being displayed to the showroom floor, the area had been completely changed. All of the black curtains that had been covering up the displays had been removed, and there was a large picture of the Jive that was visible from everywhere in the showroom. But it was the other picture that caught my breath. Even before we got close to the area I saw the profile of my head just as large. A distinctive ear bud was visible in the one ear that was on display, and the cord that trailed from it led straight to the large Jive I had seen earlier.
I was awestruck for a moment. The Jive was supposed to be the biggest announcement of the technology conference, and yet my picture was displayed just as prominently as the Jive was for all who attended to see.
The rest of the day wasn’t all fun and games. In fact it was rather surreal. I was used to being the center of attention when I was dressed up as Sarah, but now I was sharing the spotlight with a music player. At first it was odd when people would come up to where I was sitting or standing, give me a brief look, and then turn all of their attention to the Jives that had been set out for people to play with. But it was also humbling. It helped to remind me that despite all of the newfound fame that I had earned over the summer, I was still a normal girl. I didn't need the screaming crowds or googly-eyed fans trying to meet me to be happy. Besides, there were still plenty of fans who came by to help boost my ego.
The highlight of the day for me was the small solo performance I did at the Jive booth late in the afternoon. Like everything else I had been involved with, it was designed to bring more people to the booth to increase the exposure of the Jive, but they cheered and applauded just like every other crowd I had performed for.
When I climbed into our car to go back to the hotel, I started to realize what a real job might be like. Despite all of the hard work I had put into my career this summer, it had all felt rewarding and worthwhile to me. I was doing something that I really enjoyed. But today had been the opposite. I knew it was something I had to do, but being eye candy all day while trying to talk to people about the benefits of the Jive, or why they should buy one, was tiring in a whole different way. I believed what I was telling them, or I wouldn't be endorsing the device. But most of my words were coming from the information packet I'd had to learn and not from me. It felt less genuine, and it felt more like I was there just for the money than for the experience. I didn't like that at all. I knew that I would have to do more of this in the future, and I wasn't looking forward to it.
I had worked twelve hour days more than once over the summer, and the soft, silky sheets that greeted me in my hotel room were a welcome relief.
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This whole summer had been a whirlwind of new adventures and experiences. My life had completely changed. I was no longer the shy boy who I had grown up believing myself to be. I was now a beautiful young woman with a very exciting life ahead of her.
Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.52 - Radio City Music Hall by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2011 Megan Campbell Released: September 5, 2011 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley
Chapter 2.52 - Radio City Music Hall
The final day of my summer concert tour brought a peace and serenity that was abnormal for a concert day. For the first time all week I got to sleep in longer than usual. I had done more interviews in the mornings during my stay in New York City than I had all month. Having much of the morning off was the best way to start the day.
The light was streaming through the curtains as I pulled back the covers. I climbed out of bed and did a few stretches to help wake me up, then I walked over to the curtains and pulled them apart. Looking down on the already bustling streets stories below the room brought a smile to my face.
I had never imagined that I would get the chance to visit New York City! I lived on the other side of the country, and Dad's job had kept us from taking many vacations while I was growing up. But to contemplate being here to perform two concerts would have been mind-boggling just four months ago.
This whole summer had been a whirlwind of new adventures and experiences. My life had completely changed. I was no longer the shy boy who I had grown up believing myself to be. I was now a beautiful young woman with a very exciting life ahead of her. I couldn't remotely imagine everything that Sarah Carerra would bring to my life. I couldn't imagine what life would be like after I took off the wig for the last time, if that ever happened. But I knew for a fact that I had always been a girl. I had always been Megan.
I knew that belief would be challenged, perhaps forcefully, when I returned to school. Despite the fact that I was legally and genetically female, there were enough people there who knew me before this whole adventure had started. Some of those people would make my life hard while I tried to finish my junior year. But if I could become a platinum recording artist, then I could overcome ANYTHING that they threw at me. With friends like Emily, Ethan, and Paul at my side, I knew that school would be okay, no matter what happened.
I smiled slightly, and turned to start getting ready for the day. Just because I got to sleep in didn't mean I had the whole day off. I wanted to be ready when Dad knocked on the door to my suite.
When I was finished getting dressed, I still hadn't heard anything from Dad or Amy, which was unusual. A knock on the door to my family's room proved that Dad had still been asleep, if his bedraggled appearance was any indication. He scowled at my laughter, but I told him I would go get breakfast and he closed the door to start getting ready for the day.
I was still in a good mood as I walked further down the hall to the suite that the band was staying in. A knock on their door proved more productive, and I found most of them up and dressed. Only Sophie was still getting ready and I waited patiently for her to finish her makeup before I dragged them all down to the hotel’s restaurant. It hadn't been hard to convince them to come to breakfast with me, especially when they found out it would be my treat, and it was one of the best times I had ever spent with my band.
There had been very few times when we got together that didn't involve our music in some way. Getting to sit there and just talk with them for an hour and a half was definitely an eye opener. I learned more about them during that one meal than I had all summer. As we returned to our rooms, I was even more convinced they were the best people I could ever work with.
Austin and the band were going to lounge around the pool and have some fun before the band went to the sound check. I wished I could join them, but I was already committed to spend more time at the Jive booth before the concert. The Jive guys had wanted me to be there all day today, but fortunately I had the excuse of performing a concert to get me out of there early.
Mom and Amy remained at the hotel to finish packing our things onto the bus. The band and the crew weren't leaving New York until late tomorrow. However, Amy, Mason, my family and I were all going to pile onto my bus after tonight’s concert to make the cross-country trip back to Los Angeles in time to get ready for school on Wednesday. Everyone else would be heading for Colorado for next Saturday's concert.
The technology conference was a lot more crowded today than it had been yesterday. News had also apparently circulated that I would be there, because many more fans showed up to get autographs and pictures than yesterday. Overall it was a much better experience, and the Jive executives seemed to be happy with the number of people who were taking an interest in their music player.
When we finally left to make our way to the Radio City Music Hall, I was more than ready to perform a concert. The excitement I felt before every show was already building as we arrived at the historic building and made our way inside. The grandeur and the luxury that were displayed all around us took my breath away instantly, and I marveled that I was actually going to get a chance to perform here!
Darkness descended around me, and I turned and hustled toward the side of the stage for my second costume change of the night. Once I was inside the small booth I raised my hands once more while waiting for one of the ladies to finish untying my shoes while another pulled my top over my head. A third was unzipping my jeans and pulling them down my legs, allowing me to pull my feet out of the jeans and the untied shoes at the same time. Then came the dress.
This costume change was the longest of the concert, because it took extra care to get the dress on without damaging it. Several women helped pull it over my head and get it situated properly. Once my head was free, Stephanie went to work on fixing the wig and touching up my makeup and someone else placed a pair of heels on my feet.
When everyone was done I only had a second or two to glance into the mirror in the room before I had to rush back to the stage. What I saw was a very beautiful girl. The little black dress was very high fashion, and very sophisticated. It was highlighted with silver in a few places to give it some Glam, but otherwise it could have been worn out on an expensive date. I gave myself a smile, then turned and hurried back to get into position before the video keeping the crowd entertained was finished.
I didn't get to take a proper breath until I was in place, which was only slightly encumbered by the tight dress. It still left me with plenty of room to breathe to sing properly. The dress didn't look as tight as it felt, but it was still comfortable.
The soft, slow music started up immediately after the screen at the back had gone dark, and a spotlight shone down upon me. When I started softly singing the first words of Petula Clark's 'Downtown', there was some soft clapping around the hall. This seemed like an appropriate song to be singing just off the Theatre District, and the crowd seemed to agree.
This song was much older than I was, and I had never even heard it before someone suggested using it as a cover. But even the fans in the audience whom I could see and who were younger than me seemed to enjoy the song. It was a really nice song, and as we went back and forth between the slow parts and the faster sections, I was really having a lot of fun. So far this had been the best concert we had performed, without anything going wrong, and I was intent on making sure that continued. It was the last chance I would get before school started.
When the song came to a conclusion, the fire was burning just as strong in my veins. The crowd cheered just as loud as if it had been one of my own songs. Before I had started I knew that this was going to be a fun concert to perform, and the fans certainly made that a reality.
"I promised we would have fun tonight," I told the audience when they started to quiet down once again. "Are we?" That prompted another cheer to echo throughout the venue in response.
"Well, I'm having fun too," I continued. "I've been performing for almost three months now. In that short amount of time I've learned two key things. First, I'm totally addicted to performing. I can't imagine not singing and sharing my talents with people anymore. Second, performing for a great crowd, like you guys, always leaves me 'Breathless'."
I paused briefly, letting a hush settle across the hall before I started singing. After finishing my opening line, Stacy's drums and Jason's guitar joined in to bring sound to the song The Corrs performed so well. I didn't think I could give it the justice that the family band did, but I did my best. I must have done well enough, because the crowd erupted into cheering when we finished.
The backstage meet-and-greet held after the concert was somber for me. I was still elated to interact with all of the fans who had been lucky enough to join us, but the looming end of the summer concerts definitely made me wish I had more time with them before school started.
By far, this had been the most exciting summer of my life. Last year, when Emily, Ethan, and I would spend time on the beach or at a movie or just lazing around each day, I never would have guessed that it would be the last time that we would spend that much time together. We knew as we got older things were inevitably going to change, but I never expected it to happen this soon!
And change they had. Not only was I a whole new person than who I had been back then, but I had hardly even had the chance to see them over the summer. Ethan had run off to camp to get away from me, and Emily had started a job that kept her busy most of the time. I knew she regretted the loss of free time she'd had over the summer, but she'd saved an impressive amount of money from her job that I knew helped alleviate that loss.
Emily was so driven to be successful, which is one of the reasons I was standing where I was, in the middle of a large number of my fans. But I was standing there without her. She had been the driving force who had convinced Ethan to help get me to Scott's party. It was her willpower that had badgered me into getting up on stage that night where Scott had heard me for the first time. Without Emily's drive, there would be no Sarah Carerra.
I missed her.
Standing among the many people who wanted to be my friend and spend as much time with me as they could, all I wished was that I had her here with me. I knew she would be there Tuesday after we got home. I knew that Ethan would be with her. That seemed like such a long time from now, however, and we would only have less than one day to enjoy the rest of the summer before we'd be back in the classrooms together.
But we would be together once again. Emily had quit her job to focus on school, and that meant that any free time we had could be spent together. And while my own career wasn't being put on hold, both of them were more than willing to come along with me. I just hoped that I wasn't keeping them away from anything they wanted to pursue in their own lives.
Later that night, after the glamour of the concert and the afterparty had faded, I was in my room on my tour bus. The wig was safely stored. The outfits were in the closet. I had removed the day's makeup, and all of the people on the bus were in their beds or bunks trying to sleep.
But the fire within me was still burning brightly. I was wide awake, and I found myself sitting on my own bed, staring out the window at the still-heavy early morning traffic around the New York City area. Eddie was expertly navigating the large bus through the busy streets, and I watched the show much like I had watched the Salt Lake Valley from the window of my hotel room the night after my first concert.
The peaceful, serene feelings that had been flowing through me that night were joined by concern and worry tonight. With the start of the school year came the uncertainty of what it would hold for me. I hadn't been the most popular person at the end of the last year. There were a number of students who hated me just because I was different. And most of those students would be returning with me this year.
Despite the acceptance and acclaim that I received nearly every day as Sarah Carerra, these people only knew me as the new girl Megan Campbell. Some of them were sure to only remember me as the person whom I had been before Megan had even come along. That person seemed so foreign to me now that I couldn't even voice the name. Yet it was certain to be on the tongues of those individuals who wanted to hurt me. Having a proper birth certificate wasn't going to be enough to convince them that I really had been a girl since birth. Those were the causes of my worry as I sat there lost in thought.
A soft knock on the door to my room preceded my mom poking her head inside. She had a concerned look on her face when she saw me sitting on top of the covers instead of safely ensconced within. Without a word she came inside, closed the door, and joined me on the bed, wrapping me in a hug.
"Are you worried about school?" she asked. I had long since given up trying to figure out how she always knew what was bothering me. Instead, I hugged her back.
"Yes," I replied while nodding. "I don't know how people are going to react, and that scares me."
Mom was silent for a moment. When she spoke again I felt the love and care that she put into her words.
"Megan," she started. "You are an amazing young woman. I couldn't ask for a better daughter. But what you've gone through isn't normal. People are going to question who you are because of that. I know you are female. Your dad knows you are female. Your doctors and the government know you are female. Anybody who believes otherwise is going to have to learn that truth. In time I don't think that anybody will question who you really are. But for those people who have known you for a while, it will be harder to accept."
Again she hugged me tightly before continuing. "I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I wish you could have been raised as the girl you truly are. But life isn't always easy, and it isn’t always fair. I wish that people would accept you for who you are now, but some of them won't be able to. They will criticize you for living your life the way you were meant to. But you hear criticism like that every day. You've seen the negative things that some people have said about Sarah. This is no different."
"But it IS different," I told her. "She-"
"She is you," Mom interrupted. "Never forget that, Megan. Sarah is believable only because there is a real girl underneath that wig. She is strong and determined and one of the bravest young women I know. I couldn't imagine standing in front of a crowd and performing like you do."
"That strength doesn't come from Sarah," she paused to place her hand over my heart. "It comes from here."
I nodded, but I wasn't sure how to respond. I stared out the window of the bus for a moment. I knew she was right. It was so easy to try to separate my two identities. But I knew that I could perform just as well without the wig. The 4th of July party at Gran and Grandaddy's house had proved that. However, that still didn't make me feel any less apprehensive about what my fellow students would do to me. Some of them, like Jared Lumbart, wanted to harm me. I knew there would be problems during the school year.
But I also knew that I could overcome them. I'd done a number of amazing things over the summer. If I could release a platinum-selling album and perform concerts in front of thousands of people across the nation, then I could find a way to deal with the problems that school would bring.
I looked up into Mom's eyes. Once again I saw her love and adoration for me there. I hoped that she could see the same thing in my own eyes.
"Thank you, Mom," I replied. Then I leaned over and gave her a hug this time. After releasing her I knew what else I wanted.
"Would you like to sleep in here tonight?" I asked. "The bed is much more comfortable."
She laughed lightly, but nodded.
It wasn't until after we had both slid under the covers and I could feel the heat of my mom inches away from me that I felt safe for the first time all evening. Not even Mason could give me the security that Mom could. I drifted off to sleep peacefully within minutes.
Only time would tell what the future would hold.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Learn more about the songs in this chapter at sarahcarerra.com
Thank You!
It's almost been two years since I posted the first chapter of Sarah Carerra to the Internet. At that time I had no idea it would evolve into what it is today. Sarah Carerra is probably the most fun I've ever had writing, and I truly adore spending time with her. I hope that there will be plenty more in the future, but that will be up to you, the reader.
Book 3, which will be coming in the next few months, is going to have some transgender issues that Sarah/Megan are going to have to deal with. Going back to school will not be easy, and working to be accepted by the students there will take some time. But there will come a point in this story where the TG content will start to wane. I'm more than willing to continue writing the story, but my question to you is, are you still willing to read it?
Let me know how you feel about the continuation of the story, and how much further it should go, by posting a comment here or mailing me at angeljedigirl(at)gmail.com.
Thank you all for taking the time to read something that is near and dear to my heart. I don't think I could keep writing it if it wasn't for all of the great feedback I get here.
With love,
Megan
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Sarah Carerra
The Intuition Tour Presented by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2010 Megan Campbell Released: August 26, 2010 |
LOS ANGELES, CA - Sarah Carerra, one of today's leading young artists, has announced her highly anticipated first North American concert tour. The tour will begin on July 31 at the California Mid-State Fair and continue on to 11 other cities before concluding in late September.
The concert tour will give fans a first glimpse of the young superstar's talent as she promotes her new debut album 'Intuition'. The concert tour will showcase her No. 1 hit single 'Intuition' along with her new single 'You Can't Hurt Me' which many critics have raved over as it shows the young artist's strength and poise in the face of adversity.
Tickets for The Intuition Tour go on sale for all venues on Friday, July 2. Contact local box offices for more details on pricing and availability.
Additional cities, venues, and information may be announced. Itinerary subject to change.
LOS ANGELES, CA - Sarah Carerra is proud to announce the release of her debut
album 'Intuition'. With six songs written by Sarah, six provided by her record
company, and one cover, 'Intuition' provides a mixture of different types of
songs and music to appeal to the many fans that Sarah has garnered since the
debut of her #1 single just six weeks ago. From the emotional songs 'Ever After'
and 'You Can't Hurt Me' to the breakout hit 'Intuition', the album is sure to
capture the hearts of everyone that hears it.
The album is in stores and available through iTunes now.
Track List:
1. Intuition 2. Pop Princess 3. Open Your Eyes (See Me) 4. I Just Wanna Have Fun 5. Ever After 6. Rock Star 7. Turn Around 8. Together 9. Enchanted Forest 10. Love? 11. Friends Forever 12. My Life 13. You Can't Hurt Me |
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The bell rang, and a few students rushed in quickly as Ms. Carson reached for her roll. Whether I liked what would come in the future or not, school was back in session.
Sarah Carerra 3
Book 3 - Concerto in A- by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: January 30, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
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The bell rang, and a few students rushed in quickly as Ms. Carson reached for her roll. Whether I liked what would come in the future or not, school was back in session.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.01 - Back to School by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: January 30, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.01 - Back to School
"Hurry, Megan, we're going to be late!" Austin yelled from outside the door to my room. It had been a while since I'd heard him that worried.
"I'm coming!" I yelled through my closed door, as I turned away from my vanity and grabbed my bag off my bed. Then the doorbell rang, and I knew that I really was running late. I opened the door to my room and stepped into the hall to find Austin had already gone to the front room. I quickly followed.
It was odd to be going to the same school as Austin again. He was only two years younger than me, but my brother seemed too young to be starting his freshman year of high school. I vowed to do everything I could to keep him out of trouble. It wouldn't be easy. Just being the brother of Megan was going to bring him some pain this year. Dealing with all of the changes my life had taken over the last few months, both as Sarah and as Megan, was only going to be compounded by the start of my own junior year as Megan.
When I reached the front room, I saw Emily and Ethan, my two best friends, walking into the house. As I was the only one with a car, I had been designated to be the driver to and from school each day. I didn't mind. The Audi S4 that I had purchased over the summer was fun to drive, even if it was only a few blocks to the school. It would certainly beat walking like Emily, Ethan, and I had done the last two years.
"Morning guys," I greeted my friends. I was happy to see their smiling faces. We had been apart more often than not over the summer because of Emily’s job, Ethan’s floundering around, and all of my commitments to my new career. It had been a trying summer on our friendship, but we had come through it just fine. The routine feeling of attending school with them once more reinforced how much I wanted to keep them in my life.
After exchanging greetings we all trekked through the kitchen to the garage, where my baby was parked waiting for us. We were soon inside and on our way toward the school. Unfortunately, my trepidation began and started to increase the closer we got to school, and the butterflies started bouncing around inside my stomach.
There were people at this school who had expressed a desire to hurt me. Some of them even had done just that during the end of my sophomore year. Perhaps some of that was to be expected when one’s life has taken as drastic a turn as mine had. The fact that the doctors had proven that I was genetically female wouldn't mean anything to some of the people who had known me for years as the androgynous boy I appeared to be.
I pulled into the school’s parking lot and found a parking spot that would hopefully prevent any damage to my car. We lived in a fairly posh area of Los Angeles, so my expensive sports sedan wasn't totally out of place in the lot. Glancing around I saw at least four other cars that I knew had cost more than what I had paid for my own. Nevertheless, some students gave us looks as we walked toward the doors. I hoped that those looks were because of the car and not because of what I was wearing, but I knew that wasn't always the case.
I wanted to immediately establish my identity with my peers this year; that was why I was wearing a casual yellow sundress while my companions were all in jeans. I needed the school to know that I really was the sixteen-year-old girl that I appeared to be.
Of course, if I had put on one of the blonde wigs that were safely stored at home and showed up at the school, I wouldn't be having these problems. People would be screaming and going crazy with excitement if my alter-ego appeared at the school. But without the wig to hide behind, I would have to face the other students as my true self, which not all of them would believe to be who I really was.
Stepping into the halls for the first time did not have the effect I was hoping for. A hush seemed to follow us as we continued to walk toward our first classes. Whispering started up behind us. Thankfully, Austin left us early when he saw some of his friends, and I was glad that he wouldn't be seen with me by too many people. He didn't need my problems following him around all year.
Nobody said anything to us as my friends and I made our way to the homeroom we shared together this year. The looks I was receiving seemed to mirror what I got at the end of last year. Most people were curious, but not bothered by what I was wearing. Some looked at me disdainfully, but didn't seem overly worked up by my dress. A few, thankfully very few, sneered at me as I passed but I ignored them. Jared Lumbart, one of the football players, had become one of my biggest enemies at school after he attacked me at the end of the last school year and had almost done the same thing when we had seen each other at a restaurant over the summer. He had a number of friends at the school whom he had certainly influenced to dislike me, and I picked out every one of them by the looks they gave me as I continued to walk down the hall.
The safety of Ms. Carson's class caused me to sigh in relief as my friends and I found desks together and took our seats. Ms. Carson had proven to be a friend to Megan, and a fan of Sarah's, and her smile told me that nothing had changed. Principal Hall had informed me that she requested to have me in her homeroom, and he had been more than happy to oblige her request in order to create a positive environment for both me and the school.
I knew that most people didn't care about the change I had gone through. Many of my fellow students, and even some teachers, had even thought that I was a girl before the truth had come out. Many of them hadn't been surprised when I showed up at school wearing makeup. But I also knew that it only took a few to make my life miserable. I could only hope that I had enough friends to make the good times overcome the bad ones this year.
The bell rang, and a few students rushed in quickly as Ms. Carson reached for her roll. Whether I liked what would come in the future or not, school was back in session.
"Those tryouts will be on Friday," Principal Hall told us from the stage of the auditorium. After homeroom, all of the students had made their way to the auditorium for a 'Welcome Back' assembly. Like every other assembly that I'd been to on the first day, it was boring. But it did delay the start of classes for a while longer.
Mr. Hall consulted the papers he was holding for a moment before continuing. "Also, I would like to remind everyone that a zero-tolerance policy is in place at this school when it comes to discrimination," he said. "Anyone involved in a discrimination-based incident will be punished. Depending on the severity, that punishment may range from detention to suspension. Keep that in mind."
He consulted his papers once more before smiling. I felt uneasy immediately. I had a feeling that...
"Megan Campbell," the principal said. "Can you come up here please?" He started looking around the seats that he could see from the stage. However, I doubted that he could see me where we were sitting, especially because I had slumped down into my seat. "Megan?" he asked again. "I saw you this morning, so I know you are out there. Please come up onto the stage."
I sighed and stood up. I was afraid this was going to happen. Dad had warned me about it after his latest call with my principal. I had desperately hoped that I would get through this day without drawing too much attention, but that didn't appear to be a possibility any more.
"There she is," Mr. Hall said smiling when he saw me approaching the stage. Eventually I climbed up the steps and joined him in the center.
"This young woman is Megan Campbell," Principal Hall stated unnecessarily. "I know each of you will show her the respect that she deserves. Megan has gone through a lot in the past six months, and she has proven herself not only to me but to some of her father's famous clients as an outstanding young woman. Megan, would you tell them what your father does, please."
I shook my head, but his insistent look told me that I wasn't going to get out of this one. I wanted to keep Megan and Sarah as far apart as possible, and now the principal was pushing the two of them closer together! He'd already embarrassed me enough by calling me up on stage and exposing what I had gone through to anyone who didn't know. Now he wanted to bring even more attention to me, and to Sarah!
I sighed and took the microphone that the principal was holding out to me and turned to face the entire student body. There were a lot of faces staring back at me, wondering what was going on. This was nothing new to me. I had stood before much bigger crowds than this at my concerts, but I'd always had the wig to hide behind. I felt exposed standing there as myself with my peers staring at me, waiting for me to say something.
"As some of you know," I started. "My dad is Sarah Carerra's agent." There was some mumbling coming from the crowd now as those who didn't know started to speculate what this was all about.
Principal Hall took back the microphone. "So what does this mean for the school?" he asked the audience. Whispering and speculation were running rampant throughout the auditorium. He waited for a moment until everyone realized that he wasn't going to continue until the noise quieted down. I really, really wanted to get off the stage while he waited, but to no avail. Finally, he spoke again. "Megan's father has offered the school's chorus the opportunity to perform with Sarah in a Christmas concert later this year. If you haven't signed up for chorus yet and would like the chance to sing, please talk with Mr. Benson sometime this week."
Before the audience could erupt with the excitement that had started to filter throughout the auditorium, the principal continued. "But there's more," he said. "If you'll direct your attention to the screen behind me, I think you will be pleasantly surprised."
The lights on the stage dimmed, and I stepped to the side of the stage with Mr. Hall, and he thanked me before allowing me to return to my seat. As I quickly rushed down the aisle the projector at the back of the auditorium lit up and I heard myself start singing over the speakers as some of the concert footage we had taken started playing for my peers. It continued to play as I made my way back to my chair next to Emily and Ethan.
Just after I had taken a seat, the sound of the music softened and I watched the video fade from my concert footage to be replaced by a picture of me as Sarah. I had been furious yesterday when Dad asked me to film this footage. I'd wanted one last day of summer to spend with Emily and Ethan, but instead I got roped into spending more time as Sarah. It hadn't taken long before my audio/video team had what they needed and had rushed to put this video together, but I had been robbed of my last day of summer.
"Good morning, Wildcats!" my voice boomed around the auditorium. A roar echoed throughout the room, and the girl on the screen waited a few seconds for it to die down before she continued. It felt really weird to be sitting in an audience cheering for Sarah Carerra. I had never experienced anything like this before!
"As many of you are no doubt aware, my agent's daughter is a Wildcat," Sarah continued. "At both her's and her father's request, I am honored to have the opportunity to perform a concert for all of you. Enjoy the new school year and I'll see you in October!"
If I thought the roaring and screaming had been loud earlier, I was shocked, and nearly deafened, at the level at which it had raised to at the announcement that they were all invited to a free concert! I beamed at the reaction of all those people whom I had spent much of my life attending school with! I got caught up in the excitement with everyone else, and it took the amassed student body fifteen minutes to realize that the assembly was over and that we were supposed to be heading for our classes.
This was likely the only time in the history of attending this school that nobody received a tardy slip for being late.
The doldrums of the first day of school had been replaced with a fervor that I could only marvel at. Dad had told me when we decided to perform the concert that I would enjoy having the other students screaming for me, and I had to admit that I was riding a wave of excitement all day. Nearly every conversation I heard as I walked down the halls had something to do with Sarah's impending concert and talk about which of her songs she needed to perform. People were so caught up in the excitement that they forgot to hate me!
As I made my way toward my last class for the day it was with a mixture of excitement and concern. Principal Hall had asked me to join the school's Chorus when we had met with him during the summer, and despite my misgivings, and after my dad's prodding, I had relented. It was going to be a cacophony of excitement in the class today because of the earlier announcement, and it reaffirmed I had no choice but to participate.
I had been on an adrenaline high since the assembly, but it came crashing down just outside Mr. Benson's classroom. Seemingly out of nowhere something smashed into my left shoulder; I crashed into a set of lockers to my right and then fell to the ground. Stars swam around in my eyes for a few moments before I realized that it was someone, not something, who had attacked me. I slowly stood and turned toward my attacker. A wide circle had been cleared around us. The other students nearby staring on in horror at what Mark Corbin had just done.
"Ow!" I sarcastically screamed at him. The push hadn't hurt as much as it had caught me off guard. But the sneer on Mark's face hurt even more. Mark was a football player and one of Jared's friends, and he was clearly unhappy to see me.
"I don't care who you know," Mark sneered at me. "You better watch yourself or you're going to wind up dead, you freak!" Then he stormed past me and into Mr. Benson's room. Now I was looking forward to Chorus even less, especially if he was in the class.
When I gathered my wits and stepped into the classroom, Mark had already taken a seat, but he quickly shot to his feet. "NO!" he screamed. "You are NOT in this class!"
"Mr. Corbin!" Mr. Benson, the small, frail-looking chorus director said loudly and sternly. "Sit down and shut up!"
I had never been in one of Mr. Benson's classes before, but the anger he displayed seemed uncharacteristic of what I had heard about him.
"I will not tolerate that type of behavior in this classroom!" he continued. Mark actually looked mollified as he collapsed back into the chair he had been sitting in. "Continue and you will no longer be welcome here. And I think you and I both know how much you need to be here if you want to graduate. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Mark replied quietly, his head down. I had never seen him that chastised before.
"Megan," Mr. Benson said in a much softer, kinder voice while turning toward me. "I know that you were reluctant to join us, but we are glad to have you. You may take a seat over there with the girls."
The classroom had a small stage with a few tiered steps mirroring the setup we would use at a performance. The students had also been separated with the girls on the left and the boys on the right. I quickly made my way to one of the empty chairs on the second tier, trying to keep the shock of Mark's hatred for me from turning into the tears that I felt beading at my eyes. I had underestimated just how much he and the rest of Jared’s friends detested me.
But all of those negative feelings were pushed away at the shock I felt when another student rushed into the room just before the tardy bell rang. I felt my breath stick in my throat at the sight of him.
"Ethan?" I asked, unsure of what I was seeing. I doubted he had heard my shocked whisper, but he quickly glanced around, smiled while connecting his eyes with me, and then rushed to take an empty seat.
Ethan could sing. I'd known that for a long time. But he had never shown any interest about joining the chorus or doing anything else to further his talents. I knew he didn't enjoy singing in front of others the way I did, so I was even more confused about why he had joined the Chorus. Even more, I couldn't understand why he hadn't said anything about joining earlier!
"Welcome to Chorus," Mr. Benson said, interrupting my thoughts and turning our attention to the class. "This is going to be an exciting year, as you already know, and I expect that the empty chairs that you see around you will be filled by this time next week. I've already talked to a number of students who have expressed interest in joining. We may just have the largest group we've ever had at this school this year."
I sighed. Everyone who was in the room now had signed up for the Chorus before they knew Sarah would be performing with them, with the possible exception of Ethan. But by next week we would have more people who were coming only to get face time with Sarah, and I did not want to be in a class where my alter ego was idolized by my peers.
Ethan was the only one in the room who knew that I was Sarah Carerra. We had opted to not tell Mr. Benson about the secret, and I hoped that it stayed that way. There wasn't any reason for him to know. But he did know that Principal Hall had asked me to join Chorus, and he was aware that it was likely related to my relationship with Sarah.
I tried to be as inconspicuous as I could, while he passed out song booklets and talked about what would be expected of us in the class. My goals were to get through this class by drawing no attention to myself, not singing unless it was with a group, and trying to keep anyone from realizing how close my voice was to Sarah's. Singing for my extended family had proved that my voice alone was not necessarily enough for someone to recognize the secret, but I wasn't going to take any chances.
Then Mr. Benson ruined the whole thing for me just before the end of the day.
"Over the next week or two every single one of you will perform a solo for us," he said, shattering my plans. "This will help me understand where you are in your vocals and help me place you into the group. Start thinking about what you want to sing." The bell rang, and everyone reached for their things. "See you all tomorrow."
How I wished I didn’t have to come back again.
"Why didn't you tell me that you were joining the Chorus?" I half asked, half accused Ethan on our way out to my car.
"You joined Chorus?!" Emily asked in surprise before he could reply.
"Yes," Ethan replied to Emily before turning toward me. "I wanted to surprise you, Megan," he told me. "I know you didn't want to join, and I thought I could make it more fun."
I didn't know how to read the smile on his face. It looked like he was serious and joking at the same time. There was also a hint of something else that I couldn't quite tell what it meant. But the fact that he had joined just so I'd have a friend in the class touched me.
I reached over and gave him a quick hug. "Thank you," I replied. He started to turn red, but he looked like he enjoyed it a lot more now than he had the first time I'd hugged him at my first concert. He wasn't going to run away to summer camp after this one!
I was so happy to have my friends back in my life. I had missed too much of them over the summer with all the travelling and other commitments I'd had as Sarah. Now, thanks to the principal's intervention, I shared every single one of my classes with either Emily or Ethan, or both of them. I knew that Principal Hall had done this to try to keep at least one of my friends with me at all times while I was at school to help limit any "incidents", but it had a decidedly better outcome since I got to hang out with one of them in every single class.
This was going to be the best school year with them ever.
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"You know Sarah, right?" she asked me before holding up the magazine so that I could see the cover. This time it was my eyes that boggled! Staring back at me was a picture of Sarah.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.02 - Dazzle by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: February 6, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.02 - Dazzle
The second day of classes was nowhere near as exciting as the first. There was still a lot of discussion about Sarah around the school, and someone had even put up some posters of Sarah with the date of the concert on it. But it was apparent that things were starting to settle down.
Nobody had tried to do anything harsh all morning either. One football player had attempted to trip me while we passed each other in the hall, but I'd seen him coming and was able to avoid him when he stretched out his legs to catch mine. I glared at him when he did, and he actually looked a bit mollified for a moment before he turned and walked away. I had yet to see Jared Lumbart, but I had heard he was still blaming me for getting kicked out of school last year and for getting thrown out of the restaurant where we had seen each other over the summer. I knew I'd have to keep an eye out for him and his "close" friends.
When I sat down between Ethan and Emily in the cafeteria at lunch, I was happy to see that they had already found other friends to fill the table around us. I hadn't seen Kathy, Jane, or Ashley since school had let out for the summer, but I knew the smile on my face reflected the ones they were giving me as I sat down.
"Hi, Megan," Jane greeted me, followed closely by the other two. "I wasn't sure who we'd see when school started up again. That dress you wore yesterday was pretty."
"Thanks," I replied. This was the first time anyone had actually talked to me about the change since school started, and I was glad to see that they were okay with it. The three of them hadn't pushed me away last year, and the summer hadn't changed their feelings toward me at all. "Megan is here to stay," I informed them.
"So you're going to have the..." Kathy started, but her words caught in her throat. "The surgery and stuff?" she finally finished. She turned red immediately, but I smiled at her curiosity.
"Sort of," I told her. "I've already had surgery to...correct things." The eyes of all three of my friends flew open in shock, so I felt I should clarify for them. "I'm actually a girl. Genetically, I mean. Let's just say that I have everything that you three have, and nothing that Ethan does. The doctors just fixed me up the way my body was supposed to be."
We sat there in silence for a moment as they digested what I had told them. It definitely wasn't what they had expected me to say, even if it was the truth. Then, to cover the awkwardness, Jane pulled out a magazine in an attempt to change the subject.
"You know Sarah, right?" she asked me before holding up the magazine so that I could see the cover. This time it was my eyes that boggled! Staring back at me was a picture of Sarah. I knew that this magazine was supposed to be on newsstands today, and that there would be a number of copies waiting for me when I got home, but this was the first time I had seen the finished product of the magazine interview that I had done over a month ago.
I was breathless as I gazed at my picture gracing the cover of Dazzle. I yearned to rip the magazine out of her hands and pore over what it said! But I also knew that I couldn't look too excited, or it might make the three of them suspicious.
"Yes," I replied. "I've known her for most of my life."
Jane put the magazine down on the table, and started flipping through the pages until she found the spread with my pictures and the interview. "Is she as cool in real life as she is in this interview?"
I looked down at the page, but I didn't know how to answer the question.
"I don't know," I told her. "I haven't had a chance to read the article yet."
She passed the magazine to me, and I quickly started to devour it. It took me a full minute before I realized everyone was looking at me, hoping I would share.
"Read it!" Emily prodded, and I nodded before turning back to the magazine.
The article started out with some information about what Sarah had been up to. It talked about the many concerts I had already performed. It talked about the songs that had reached number one. It talked about how much she liked to interact with her fans. Eventually, it settled into the interview where they actually asked me questions.
"Why do you think you've had such quick success?" I read from the magazine. "Luck," I read the response I remembered giving. "I was lucky to have friends who dragged me to a party where my studio rep noticed me and offered me a chance to make a demo. But I'm still amazed at how popular I seem to be. I'm not sure why people like my music so much. I am grateful, though."
"Awww," Emily fawned at my answer while smiling at me. "I bet she has some awesome friends."
"I'm sure she does," I replied, returning her smile and then nodding to Ethan too. I did have amazing friends.
"More," Emily said, and gestured toward the magazine I had set down to take a bite of my food. Apparently I had been nominated to provide the entertainment while we ate. I swallowed and picked up the magazine once more.
"What sets you apart from other young women who have achieved success at a young age, then have gone on to ruin it with partying and bad behavior?" the next question read. I smiled and chuckled as I remembered the way the girl conducting the interview had asked the question. It was almost like she was trying to tell me to not become a 'bad' girl.
"What did she say?" Kathy asked. Apparently I had paused too long to reminisce.
I found my response on the page and read it to them. "I've never been a party girl," I read. "I'd much rather spend time with my friends at home or at a movie or doing something than go to a party. Drinking, drugs, or anything like that does not appeal to me at all. I think what sets me apart is my attitude toward life. I like to have fun, but not that kind of fun, if you know what I mean."
"That's what I like about Sarah," Kathy said. "She's real, and she isn't into all that crappy stuff. I just hope she stays that way."
"I think she will," Ethan said. "I mean, I haven't spent much time around her, but when I have she truly didn't seem to be interested in things like that."
There were a number of nods around the table, which made me smile. I paused to take another bite of my food, which caused Emily to sigh and reach over to grab the magazine from me. I was okay with that, because I was hungry and we only had a limited amount of time before classes started again.
"Next question," Emily said. "What do you do when you sit down to write a song, but nothing comes out?" She then turned toward me for an answer, before realizing that the answer was actually in the magazine. "Oh," she started before reading. "I stand up. You can't force the songs. They will come when the time is right and not a minute before. If the song isn't there, then sitting and waiting for it to come never works. You just have to come back to it later."
"I can't imagine writing songs," Jane said. "That's something I don't think I'd ever be able to do."
"I don't know about that," I replied. "Sarah always says that all you need to do is try. Just start writing what you feel, and it comes naturally."
"Yeah, for her!" Jane retorted. I smirked. Perhaps it was easier for some people, but I still thought all Jane needed to do was try.
Emily passed the magazine across the table to Ashley, setting the precedent for how this was going to work. If everyone took a turn all of us would be able to eat while our food was still warm.
"It says," Ashley started in her quiet voice. She always was a little shy and soft-spoken. "Now we want to get to know Sarah the person better. What is your favorite color?" Then she turned to us. "Any guesses?"
"Yellow!" Emily and Ethan blurted out almost immediately, which caused me to laugh. Kathy, Jane, and Ashley just stared at us. I guess that probably was a bit out of character, but my friends knew me too well.
"Yellow," Ashley confirmed, reading from the magazine. "With pink as a close second. Kind of like you, Megan."
I tensed up immediately. Any comparisons between Sarah and me were bad, since they could lead to the secret getting out. But none of the three girls seemed to notice Ashley's observation. Instead, they all focused on Jane as she took the magazine to read the next question. I slowly let out the breath that I was holding, and caught Emily's eye. She looked as petrified as I felt, but it looked like we were going to be okay.
"What is your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?" Jane read. "Can anyone guess?" she asked turning toward the rest of us.
"Performing a concert," I stated. I knew it wasn't the answer that was in the magazine, but it reminded me of the preparations that were likely already underway at the Red Rocks Amphitheatre for the show I would be performing on Saturday. That thought was certainly exciting me right now.
"No," Jane laughed lightly. "But that's a good guess. She said that her favorite thing to do is hang out with friends. She said that it didn't matter what they did, as long as they were together."
"Awww," Emily fawned again. I fawned with her, at least until Ethan elbowed me in the ribs to remind me that he was there. I jumped and yelped at the unexpected contact, which caused everyone to burst out laughing.
"You know, if her friends are as close as the three of you, then I bet they have a lot of fun together," Jane said. The three of us nodded, and I knew that Jane felt left out somewhat. There wasn't really anything that I could do about that, though. I wasn't as close to the three of them as I was to Emily and Ethan.
Jane passed the magazine to Kathy, who continued reading. "Do you have any body insecurities?" she asked.
"Well, that's a stupid question," Emily said. "What teenage girl doesn’t?" She rolled her eyes, making me wonder what she was thinking. She knew me better than any other person on the planet, and she seemed to have something in mind. I figured that it probably had something to do with the changes I'd undergone over the summer, but I knew that wasn't mentioned in the magazine.
Kathy chuckled at Emily. "Okay, so what do you think her's is?"
Emily paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to put her thoughts into words. "Well," she started. "After that whole period fiasco where she fainted on TV, I bet it has something to do with the fact that she doesn't feel completely female all the time, since she started developing so late."
I knew that I was staring at Emily in shock when she looked at me. I had never told her that before, but she had just guessed the first thing that had come to my mind when the question had been asked of Sarah. I'd spent the majority of my life mistakenly thinking that I was male. I had felt like I was drowning, and becoming Megan had felt like a breath of fresh air as I was pulled out of the water. But sometimes my life felt so unreal that I was afraid I was going to wake up and find it was all a dream.
"Hmm," Kathy said while reading the real answer. "It says here that her biggest insecurity was her voice."
"Her voice?" Jane asked loudly. "How could she be insecure about her voice?! She's got a beautiful voice!"
Kathy continued reading. "She said she was always singing while growing up, but she was always afraid to let people hear her. When she was discovered it was the first time she had ever sung in public!"
"I don't believe that," Jane snapped. "Someone like her would never hide her voice!" Then she turned to me. "Is that true?"
I was startled a bit by the vehemence in her question. I didn’t know why Jane seemed to think that I couldn't be insecure about my voice. Before I had started living as Megan full time, and because my voice had never dropped, I had always been self-conscious about what other people would think. It wasn’t an issue for me now that my body matched my voice, but I still clearly remembered how I had felt before Emily and Ethan had dragged me to the party that led to my discovery. I almost didn't even get up on stage that night because of that insecurity.
"Yes," I replied. Jane looked upset, but didn't ask for any elaboration. Instead, Kathy handed the magazine back across the table to Ethan.
"Do you ever have a day where you want to take a step back and live a normal life?" Ethan read, trying to move on quickly.
"Does she even have time for a normal life anymore?" Emily asked. Sadly, I could hear a bit of disappointment in her voice. Like her, I too wished that I could spend more time with my friends doing "normal" stuff.
"Yes," Ethan replied before reading my answer. "Sarah said, 'I try to do as much normal stuff as I can. I've spent time with my friends at the beach. I had a spa day with my Mom. I went to my extended family's house for a barbeque on the 4th of July. But finding time to do the 'normal' stuff has been hard this summer. Between recording the album, performing the concert tour, interviews, photo shoots, etc. it has been hard. But that just makes me cherish the normal things I get to do even more.'"
"It must be hard to give all of that up for fame and fortune," Jane said wryly while rolling her eyes. "I'd give that up to be a singer like her," she added. That one sentence clued me in on why she was so upset. While I strived to keep a normal life amidst the turmoil that Sarah Carerra had brought this summer, she felt that I was demeaning what it meant to be in the public spotlight.
"I don't think you would," I told her. She glowered at me over the table. Obviously she did not agree with me. "Sarah loves singing and performing for people," I tried to explain my statement. "But that doesn't mean that she doesn't want to have a normal life. I can guarantee you that you would not want to give that up just to be famous. Don't be mad at her for wanting to hold on to what she had before becoming famous. She shouldn't have to give up her old life just because she's good at singing. Nobody should."
Jane was still glowering at me, but her lips had loosened, and I could tell that she was listening to me. I continued my spiel. "And if you want to be a singer like her then you need to do something about it! Take some singing lessons if you don't think you are good enough. Find somewhere to sing if you are good. Find an outlet. I'll even set you up with my dad and he can put you in touch with a record company if you are ready for that. Just don't be mad at Sarah for wanting to keep some semblance of a normal life!"
When I finished, Jane looked a bit mollified. The other two girls were looking at me a bit oddly because I was so defensive about the subject. Emily and Ethan were nodding their heads in agreement. I felt bad for being so direct with her, but I felt it was something Jane needed to hear.
"Sorry," I said a moment later.
"No," Jane replied. "I'm sorry. I guess you know better than I do what is involved. It just seems like half the time Sarah doesn't seem thankful for what she has! I'd kill to have a voice like hers!"
"I can guarantee you that she is very thankful for what she has," I told her.
"Sarah is the most humble person I know," Emily added before I could continue. "I've seen how much she enjoys performing. I know that she would never be able to give that up. But I've also seen how much it hurts her to be away from her friends and from her normal life. I understand why she regrets losing some of that. I would hate to lose that too."
Emily looked over at me. I was speechless at her words! She was right though. I couldn't imagine giving up performing in front of crowds now. I might have started the summer scared to get up on a stage, but now it was scary to think about the possibility that I wouldn't get a chance to do it again. And I did regret not being able to spend more time with Emily and Ethan this summer.
"Whatever," Jane replied, but she seemed to be considering what we had told her. At least she didn't look as upset as she had moments before.
Ethan handed me the magazine, and I glanced at the next question. Then I started laughing. This question had totally taken me by surprise when they had asked it.
"Are you a Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or Tinkerbell fan?" I read. "Any of those?" I chuckled again before looking around our circle. "What do you guys think?"
For once both Emily and Ethan didn't have an answer. The other girls didn't appear to want to guess either.
"Tinkerbell?" Ashley said, though her uncertainty made it sound more like a question.
I turned back to the magazine. "I like the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings movies, but I've never read the books," I read. "If I had to call myself a fan of one of them, I guess it would be Tinkerbell."
I was interrupted by the ringing of a bell, which surprised me. I couldn't believe that we had been sitting there long enough for lunch to be over. There was still so much more that I wanted to read from the article about me. Immediately my friends started to gather their trays and their bags, and I reluctantly passed the magazine back to Jane. She looked like she was in a better mood, if her grin was any indication.
The rest of the school day went by slowly. I was too excited to get home and read the rest of the article to truly concentrate on my classes. There was only one class that was able to pull my attention away from thinking about the magazine interview: Chorus.
Mr. Benson started the class with three solos. He was asking for volunteers to go first, and Ethan volunteered. It had been a while since I'd heard him sing, and I had forgotten how good he was. Truthfully he wasn't likely to get a recording contract, but he certainly was better than most of the others in the class. Mr. Benson was smiling when Ethan sat back down next to me.
Mr. Benson then asked for another volunteer. Mark spoke up immediately. I hadn't expected him to volunteer, since he was only in this class to fill some kind of requirement. But he surprised us with a very good rendition of one of Josh Holliday's songs. He was nowhere near as good as Josh was, but he actually had a good voice and knew how to use it.
He sat down again and Mr. Benson once again called for a volunteer to fill the last spot for the day. Ethan nudged me with his elbow, but there was no way I was getting up there. I was still hoping to find a way out of singing alone in front of everyone to help limit the possibility that they would recognize my voice. I shook my head when Ethan looked over at me, and did my best to remain inconspicuous.
"I nominate Megan," Mark said out of the blue. When I looked over at him in surprise, he had a toothy grin on his face that let me know he was trying to embarrass me in some way. Mr. Benson looked over at me, but my almost imperceptible shake of my head was enough to let him know I wasn't ready.
"Volunteers only, Mr. Corbin," our teacher reiterated. "But remember that this is part of your grade. Each of you will need to perform a solo for the class sometime within the next couple of weeks. If you aren't ready today that is fine, but please take the time you need to prepare yourselves if you want to pass this class."
I sighed. It seemed unlikely that I was going to be able to get out of singing for them. I would have to find something to sing that sounded nothing like Sarah. It was the only chance I had to keep the secret from being exposed if anyone recognized my voice while I sang. Once again, I was unhappy that I had agreed to join Chorus.
I looked back over at Mark. He gave me another look that let me know that he wasn't finished with me. As if Chorus wasn't bad enough, I really didn't want to contend with him at the same time.
I felt much better when Anne, one of the two sopranos who were in the class, got up to sing a solo for us. I had managed to escape the inevitable, at least for one more day.
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Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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"I know some of you have concerns about Megan being in this class," Coach Anderson started as she placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. The sneers and scowls that appeared on some of their faces were disheartening, but not surprising to me.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.03 - Half Day, Double Trouble by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: February 13, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.03 - Half Day, Double Trouble
The best part of starting school had to be the fact that I didn't have as busy of a schedule as I'd had during the summer. With no engagements as Sarah until Saturday's concert I had the evenings to spend with Emily and Ethan, something we hadn't had in a number of weeks.
But Friday morning dawned with the excitement that any of my concerts brought. I would be leaving during lunch to make the trip to the airport for the flight to Denver. I was performing at the Red Rocks Amphitheatre Saturday night, and I couldn't wait to get back on stage. It had only been a week since I had performed at Radio City Music Hall in New York City, but with the start of school it felt like it had been a lot longer. I really wanted to get back in front of my fans!
I had a huge smile as I got ready for the day and ate some breakfast. When Emily and Ethan showed up I grabbed my stuff, including my gym bag, and headed for my car with them and with Austin.
Gym. The one downside to this morning was the fact that we actually needed our gym clothes for the first time since school started. The school renovated the locker rooms over the summer, and we had spent the last two days waiting for the final touches to be completed before we could actually use the facilities. Of all the classes that I was taking this semester, P.E. was definitely at the bottom of what I would consider my favorites. It was even below Chorus.
I knew that there were going to be some unhappy girls in that locker room when I followed them inside. Sitting around on the bleachers during the last two days of class doing the assignments that Coach Anderson, our P.E. teacher, had given us had shown me that. Many of them looked very apprehensive when they found out that I was in the class. I knew that even though I was legally female, I had always been considered the opposite before this year. While there weren't any girls in the class who had ever called me names or tried to hurt me, I knew that they weren't as accommodating when it came to invading what they felt was their privacy. Nobody had said anything to me yet, but I had overheard some of them talking about what they would do when we got our lockers.
All of these things were worrying me as we walked toward our homeroom. But I should have been worried about other things.
We were walking around a corner when I screamed. A fist was quickly flying at my face. I was not sure how, but it missed me and I found myself on the floor. Somehow, I had managed to drop fast enough to avoid the blow that was meant for me. But that didn't stop Jared Lumbart. Once he realized he had missed with his fist he moved to kick me with his foot. I knew there was no way I was going to avoid that, since I was awkwardly sprawled on my hands and knees.
But I was shocked because instead of feeling his foot connecting with my ribs, I watched as Jared was slammed into the ground on his back, with Ethan on top of him! The loud scream that was echoing around the hallway was, for once, not mine. I had never heard Ethan yell with such rage before! I had never seen him take on someone as big as Jared either.
Jared was surprised as he hit the ground. He obviously hadn't expected anyone to fight back. His surprise kept him from moving as Ethan's fist slammed into his right cheek. Then he looked dazed enough to prevent him from fighting back when a second fist came slamming down onto his shoulder.
"Ethan!" I screamed, and leapt to my feet. I reached over and tried to pull him off Jared, but he was too strong for me. I couldn't prevent a third punch from connecting with Jared's jaw. Then someone else was at my side helping to pull Ethan off the now bloodied football player.
Jared jumped up immediately to retaliate, but he came to a halt when he saw Ethan being held back by Coach Madsen. This was the second time the football coach had been nearby when Jared had tried to attack me.
"Lumbart!" Coach Madsen yelled. "What did I tell you?" When Jared didn't respond, the coach continued. "Get to the nurse and get that cut taken care of. Then you and I are having another talk. Mr. Knight," he said while releasing Ethan and turning him around so that they were facing each other. "You are coming with me to the principal's office."
"But he was just defending her!" a girl yelled from nearby. I didn't recognize the voice, and I couldn't tell who in the large gathered crowd had said it, but I grinned slightly that someone else was standing up for me. Not everyone in this school hated me.
Coach Madsen didn't respond, however. Instead, he turned and lightly pushed Ethan toward the office while making sure that Jared was moving in the same direction without starting anything again. I worried as they walked out of sight what would happen to Ethan. He might have been defending me, but he had also punched Jared three times. He had definitely done more than just defend me.
"He'll be okay," Emily said softly next to me. I looked over at her, and I knew she didn't believe what she had just said.
The warning bell broke the silence that the hallway had fallen into, and people started scurrying toward their classes. Reluctantly, Emily and I did the same.
Ethan entered our homeroom about five minutes before class was supposed to end. He didn't look very happy, but he forced a smile as we met his gaze. I felt myself smile in response. The fact that he was still at the school meant he had at least not been suspended. He sat down next to us with a sigh.
"How bad?" Emily asked first.
"Detention for the next week," Ethan responded. "Coach Madsen convinced the principal that I was only defending Megan, so he didn't suspend me. But he didn't like the fact that Jared had been bloodied." The smug smile on Ethan's face worried me. I was grateful that he had been there to prevent Jared from hurting me, but he had gone too far.
"Ethan," I said. The tone in my voice turned his smile into a frown, and I knew I would have to be careful with what I said. "Thank you for defending me," I started. "But you didn't have to punch him like that."
Ethan's frown turned into a grimace. I knew my words were not what he wanted to hear, but I felt he needed to hear them.
"He was going to hurt you, Megan!" Ethan said loudly, catching the attention of many of the other students in the classroom. Most had already been listening to us anyway.
"I know," I said back, keeping my voice soft. "But once he was down..."
I didn't have to finish my sentence. I saw it in Ethan's eyes. He knew that what he did had been wrong. He knew that I wouldn't approve. But he also knew that he had to do something. I saw that in his eyes. Our relationship had changed. We used to be best friends. Now, we were something different. He was trying to protect me, and that was something he hadn't needed to do before.
The bell rang, indicating the end of class. Without a word Ethan stood up and left as Emily and I were still putting our things away. I knew that he was upset. But I also knew that he wasn't upset with me. He was upset with himself at how he had reacted to Jared's assault.
"Are you ready for this?" Emily asked as we approached the doors to the gym. On either side of the main doors was a separate door into the boys' and girls' locker rooms.
"No," I said, eyeing the girls who were grouped outside of the door that I would need to enter. They were nervously watching me approach. When we reached the girls, I sighed in relief when I realized that they were waiting in a line to get their locker assignments and not in a group to prevent me from entering. However, they seemed to become more defensive when they realized that I was joining the line with them.
The line continued to move forward. As Emily and I approached the door we saw Coach Anderson handing out locker assignments as the girls entered. I could also make out the heated discussion that one of the girls was having with her.
"...can't be in this class if she is!" I overheard. "It isn't right!"
"Go wait in the locker room," Coach Anderson replied. "If you feel uncomfortable you don't need to start changing. Tell any of the other girls with concerns to wait too and we'll discuss this after I have passed out the locker assignments, okay?"
Amber Hartfield, the girl who was speaking with the coach, nodded, though she remained unhappy. Then she stepped into the locker room. Emily and I continued to move forward until we were next in line.
"Good morning, Megan," Coach Anderson greeted me while searching through the slips of paper in her hands. She found what she was looking for and handed it to me. "Here is your locker assignment and the combination."
"Thank you," I said, taking the paper from her and moving to enter the locker room.
"Megan," Coach Anderson stopped me. I was worried about what was coming next, but I stopped and turned back to her. "I have talked with Principal Hall and your mother. I'm well aware of your situation, but most of the girls in the class are not. Would you be willing to explain it to them?"
I sighed. The last thing I wanted to do was share the details of what my body was doing with them. "If it will help," I told her.
"Thank you," she replied. "I've asked the girls to not start dressing yet until we've discussed this in one form or another. You can find your locker, but please don't start changing yet."
"Okay," I said. She nodded at me with a smile that reassured me that everything would be alright before she turned to Emily.
I stepped into the locker room and passed the door of Coach Anderson's office. There was a short hallway until the room opened up into several rows full of lockers. I looked down at my paper to find the number of my locker, and started walking forward until I found the right row. I ignored all of the stares and glares that I was receiving as I found my locker. I managed to get it open on the first try despite the fumbling that my anxiety about the class brought to my shaking fingers, and placed my gym bag inside. Then I turned and gave a silent prayer of ‘thank you’ when Emily appeared beside me to unlock her own locker, a grin stretched across her lips.
"Ladies," Coach Anderson yelled from down the locker room. "If all of you could come down here, please."
I tried to return the grin that Emily had, but I was worried about what was going to happen now. I closed the door to my locker and turned to follow Emily. We walked back the way we came to the first row, where the other girls in the class were sitting on the bench in the middle or leaning up against the lockers. Coach Anderson motioned me to join her, and Emily followed behind me as I approached our teacher.
"I know some of you have concerns about Megan being in this class," Coach Anderson started as she placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. The sneers and scowls that appeared on some of their faces were disheartening, but not surprising to me. I'd had plenty of trouble with this decision, and I'd had six years to contemplate it. Most of these girls only had a few days to come to terms with what had happened to me recently.
"Despite what many of you may think, Megan is female," Coach continued. "She has every right to be in this class and in this locker room. I expect you to give her the respect that you would give to any of your other classmates. If I hear of any problems, disciplinary action may be taken, okay?"
There were nods around the room, but I wasn't sure that Coach Anderson was helping my cause at all.
"Megan, would you like to explain what is going on?" she asked me. I nodded before taking a big breath.
"When I was born," I started. "The doctors thought that I was a boy. Externally, I looked like a boy." Disgust was evident on many of the girls' faces now. But I pressed on. "I thought I was a boy. But things in my life never added up. Despite how hard I tried to be a boy, it just didn't seem right. I was in a bad accident when I was ten that complicated things further. Doctors started questioning my gender, which in turn led to both my parents and me doing the same thing. I've been seeing a therapist for six years now trying to figure this out."
"But you’re a boy," Amber spouted. "You shouldn't be allowed to change with us. That's not right!"
I nodded at her. "If I was a boy then I would completely agree with you," I told her. "But I'm not a boy. I never was. Just before school ended last year I had some tests done. Those tests very conclusively informed me that I was and always had been a girl. Things started to add up quickly, and I stand before you today as the girl I was born as. I know that some of you may not believe that, but it is true."
"You’re right," Amber spoke up again. "I don't believe that. Things like this just don't happen. You are a boy or you are a girl. You don't get to change that."
"That's just it," I retorted. "I didn't change ANYTHING. I just learned the truth. I'm as female as anyone in this room. I'm a late bloomer. I had my first period just after school ended. If you don't believe me, then believe that fact!"
There were some astonished faces in the crowd now. They obviously hadn't expected me to tell them that. However, there was still disbelief on a number of them.
"Look," Emily stated. "I've known Megan since we were two. I was there as she grew up, and I can tell you that she really is a girl. She has always been a girl. She even has a scrapbook that proves it. Having the doctors confirm this fact didn't change much about her. The only thing it really changed was how other people see her. She didn't just start living as a girl. She's been living as a girl her entire life. It's just more apparent now."
It looked like a number of girls were going to speak up, but Coach Anderson stepped in first.
"I've talked with Megan's mother," she said. "I've talked to her doctor. I can confirm that Megan is female. I know some of you feel uncomfortable about this. You are welcome to try and transfer out of the class, but Megan is staying here. She has both my full support and that of the school. Her gender is not in question here. Now, get dressed and meet me in the gym in five minutes. We've got a lot to do today."
The assembled group started to dissipate, but I knew it wasn't going to be this easy. The looks I received as I walked back to my own locker only confirmed that.
When I returned to my locker I was happy to see that Emily and I shared our row with only two other girls. Those two girls had also been two of the girls who perhaps weren't happy to have me in the class but were at least indifferent about it. I had a feeling that Coach Anderson had a hand in making sure that I wasn't placed near anyone who had been vocal about this.
To say that I was scrutinized as I started to change would be an understatement. I did my best to change quickly so that I could get out of the locker room, but that still didn't stop the soft gasps from the two girls nearby as I changed. They didn't say anything else, and neither did Emily or I. When we entered the gym together there were only three other girls changed and waiting for the class to begin.
Girls continued to filter out of the locker room as we sat waiting patiently. Some of them looked relieved that they had managed to change without seeing me. Others glared at me as they caught my eye. Amber actually scowled, and I was worried about what she would try to do next.
After Coach Anderson had finished calling roll she led us through some warm-up stretches. I started to receive some new stares as we continued. Even Emily was staring at me as I managed to bend further and easier than most of the girls in the class. While some of the girls were more flexible than me, only Becky, who was a long-distance runner, seemed to be in better shape. That was an observation that wasn't lost on many of the girls. The many hours of singing and dancing on and off stage over the summer had certainly kept me in good shape, and it showed.
My conditioning was further emphasized as we spent the class going through some fitness tests that Coach Anderson said were required. Girls were dropping to their knees panting and wheezing left and right. I was winded, for sure, but I still got more of a workout while on stage at one of my concerts.
There were sighs of relief all around the gym when Coach Anderson told us to hit the showers. At least, until the other girls started to worry that I would actually shower with them. Unfortunately, I was being checked out by my dad at lunch in time for the flight to Denver, and I wouldn't get a chance to shower before we had to go to the airport. Even though I didn't want to, I knew that I was going to have to shower now.
After I returned to my locker, Emily sent the first warning signal to the other girls when she asked, "Are you going to shower?"
I saw the concern on her face, and I thought she was hoping that my answer would be no.
"Yes," I replied, and saw the concern on the faces of the two girls near us rise. "My dad is checking me out and we have to go straight to the airport. I don't want to fly all sweaty."
Emily nodded, but she still looked worried. I shared her concern completely. "Where is Sarah playing this weekend?" she asked. "Denver?"
"Red Rocks Amphitheatre," I confirmed.
"Wait," one of the girls, Liz, spoke up for the first time, disregarding the fact that I was standing half-naked in front of her. "You're going to the concert?"
"I go to all the concerts," I told her truthfully. "I'm one of Sarah's personal assistants."
She actually looked impressed as I finished undressing and wrapped a towel around me.
"You are so lucky," she replied before I could leave for the showers. "I'd give anything to meet Sarah."
"Maybe you'll get a chance when she comes to perform at the school," I told her. She nodded, but she didn't seem to believe that was a possibility. However, Dad had already told me that I could personally invite the people whom I wanted to meet with backstage. Liz hadn't exactly been friendly to me during class, but she hadn't been rude either. I mentally added her to the list, for now. Depending on what happened in the future, her wish might just become a reality.
I stepped past her and headed toward the showers. Emily was right behind me. The closer I got, however, the more the tension in the air increased.
"No!" Amber screamed as I stepped past another row of lockers. She too was wrapped in a towel and looked like she was heading toward the showers. "No!" she screamed louder. "You can't!"
She didn't have to elaborate. It was pretty obvious. However, there was no way that I was going to put on Sarah's expensive clothes without showering first. I didn't care if she had a problem with me. I was going to take a shower.
I continued walking. I knew that saying anything would only bait her, and I didn't want any problems. But it seemed like the lesser of two evils. I had almost made it to the showers, with most of the girls in the locker room staring at me as I went, when Amber screamed again. She continued to scream as she ran down the locker room to where I was, and she tugged hard on my towel!
I shrieked at my sudden nakedness and tried to cover myself up with my hands! My scream barely drowned out the audible gasp that came from the on looking girls. I didn't know what they were expecting to see when my towel was pulled away, but it apparently wasn't what I had on display. I knew I was turning red with embarrassment as I reached for and yanked my towel back from the now shocked Amber and quickly wrapped myself up again.
“Hartfield!" Coach Anderson yelled from her office. It seemed to take every effort for Amber to turn and look at the coach. "Get over here!"
I didn't wait to see what happened. I ducked into the showers. Nobody did or said anything to me after that. I washed, dried myself off, and returned to my locker without incident. Everyone was openly staring at me whenever I turned around, but their sneers and glares had been replaced with shock and disbelief. Even though Coach Anderson had specifically said that I was female, they obviously hadn't believed it.
"You know why they are shocked, right?" Emily asked me as I was working to finish up my makeup in the small mirror I had attached to my locker.
"I'm not what they expected," I replied. "Am I?"
Emily laughed lightly before shaking her head. "No, Megan," she said. "It's because you have a better body than any of us. They're jealous, just like I am," Liz was nodding her head, her eyes wide.
It was my turn to be shocked!
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"The ten of you were specially selected to be here tonight," I told them. "And I'm very honored to meet all of you. Every single one of you has the power to be a star, and when you leave here tonight I hope that all of you shine as much as I try to."
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.04 - Starshine by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: February 20, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.04 - Starshine
I was smiling as my plane landed in Denver. Instead of being stuck in Chorus, where I would have been if I was still in school, I was on my way to perform a concert! There were very few things in the world that could bring a smile to my face more than walking out onto the stage at the beginning of a concert. It had only been a week since I had last performed, but I was already missing the adrenaline rush that performing produced. I actually wouldn’t be on stage again until tomorrow night, but just being in Denver was enough to start the tingling in my bones.
Unlike my previous flights to concerts, I garnered a lot more attention as I walked through the airport. This was the first time I had traveled by plane as Sarah during the concert tour, and it was the first time I had flown since my face had become nationally recognizable. Besides my family I also had Amy, my personal assistant, and Mason, one of my security guards, with me. Mason was somewhat nervous as we walked through the concourse toward the train that would take us to the terminal and the baggage claim area. Usually I had two security guards with me at all times, but Cole, Mason's partner, was already working to prepare the security for the concert. I got the impression that Mason felt vulnerable without him. There were enough fans screaming when they saw me and rushed toward us, whether for an autograph, a picture, or just to say 'Hi', that I thought Mason was going to force me into the bathroom to take off the wig. I could tell that he didn't like being the only security guard travelling with me.
But unlike my fellow students at school, there were only smiles and excitement from those surrounding me. Once I put on the wig, people stopped hating me. Nobody called me names. Nobody tried to push me down or hit me. I didn't necessarily want this type of attention at school, but I still wished that people would treat me like a normal human being.
I signed a lot of autographs and took many pictures with the fans while we rode the train from our gate to the terminal, and again while waiting for my suitcase to make its way to the baggage carousel. All of the troubles and tribulations that I'd had to endure at school were gone from my mind as we stepped outside the terminal. Then things got even better when I saw my tour bus again!
The white bus was sitting in a designated area waiting for us. With my name plastered across the side of the bus it too had garnered some attention and there were a number of people standing around it taking pictures. When they saw us coming, the airport security officers who had gathered to make sure there was no disruption to the flow of traffic stepped in to help keep some order. Cole was there too, much to Mason's relief. Dad took my bag from me and followed the rest of my family boarding the bus while I took the time to once again take pictures and sign autographs for the small crowd. Then I boarded the bus for the 50 minute drive out to the amphitheatre.
Staying in Denver was definitely going to be a different experience than staying in the other cities on the tour had been. Instead of staying in a nice hotel like we had done for the first half of the tour, I would be spending the next two nights in my tour bus while it was parked at the venue. Both Dad and Amy had agreed that it would be easier to stay on the busses instead of driving back and forth from a hotel. I didn't mind. I had a large room at the back of my bus with a queen size bed. It was almost as comfortable as my room back at home. However, Austin, who only had a small bunk to sleep in, was not happy by the prospect.
"You'll have a couple of hours to get settled," Dad told me while we were travelling down I-70. "Then you have the first Starshine meeting tonight."
I nodded, but I continued to watch the city pass by outside the window of the bus. Starlight Cosmetics was one of my major endorsements and they had become a major sponsor for the second half of the tour. This sponsorship included two new "events" around the concert. The first, called Starshine, was nothing but an endorsement opportunity. Ten lucky girls would get the chance to spend some time with me and with my makeup artist, Stephanie, while we discussed what Starlight Cosmetics could do to help them shine in their lives. It sounded like a lot of fun, but I was worried that it would feel more like I was trying to push the makeup on them instead of spending time with fans.
The second event was the Star Party. Normally a star party consisted of a number of people gathering to watch the stars in the sky. Starlight Cosmetics had taken the term and applied it to the ‘meet and greet’ that I always had after one of my concerts. Starlight Cosmetics had paid to decorate the room and it was supposed to be really cool. Instead of peddling their wares, the Star Party would be just that, a party. There would be a few people who had passes to attend the party before the concert. The rest of the attendees would be composed of the fans at the concert who seemed most excited to meet me. I had a feeling that they were trying to mirror what Taylor Swift did with her T-Party, and I was worried that people would label me a copycat. I adored Taylor Swift, and I hoped that this wouldn't be a problem. In essence it wasn't anything more than commercializing the after party I always had after a concert. A few advertisements and product placements would be around the room, but nothing else would be changed.
Either way I was excited to see what 'The Observatory' looked like. The Observatory was what they had dubbed the room where the Star Party would take place. It was supposed to have a three-fold purpose. First it would provide a place where the people involved in my concerts and I could hang out before the show started. Second, it would be used as the backdrop for the Starshine meeting. And third, it would provide a memorable experience for anyone lucky enough to meet with me backstage after the show had ended during the Star Party.
Dad continued to go over my schedule as we drove, but I honestly was only paying half attention to him. Denver was the first city where I had performed on the tour that I wouldn't get to spend some time in. We were going straight to the venue, and then we would be heading straight back to the airport Sunday morning. The only thing I'd get to experience about the city was the drive between the airport and Red Rocks Amphitheatre, so I was trying to soak in what little I could.
Eventually we started making our way up into the red rocks that surrounded the amphitheatre. Just being in proximity to the venue was starting to get my heart pumping, and I felt an adrenaline rush. I knew I wouldn't be performing tonight, but that didn't mean that I couldn't be excited.
The bus continued up the small road until we reached an area where I saw the other busses and the tractor-trailers that made up my tour convoy. There was also a small group of people gathered around. Some of them were holding up signs as Eddie, my driver, pulled the bus into a prominent parking space, which indicated that they were fans waiting for me to arrive. To come out the day before the concert showed how dedicated they were to meeting me, and I was thrilled!
"Wait five minutes," Amy told me as the bus came to a stop.
"Why?" I asked. I had no idea how long these people had been waiting for me. I was just surprised to see anyone here. I didn't even know how they knew I was going to be arriving today, let alone when.
"It will help reinforce how lucky they are to meet you," she explained. I frowned. That sounded like a stupid reason to wait. When she saw my expression she continued. "Besides, Mason and Cole want to make sure it's safe."
That reason I could understand, and I nodded while I watched Mason and Cole step off the bus. Dad was right behind them, with Austin on his heels. The bus had parked with the door on the side opposite of the group, and I could hear the cheer that escaped the crowd when the three men stepped around the back. It died quickly though when the crowd realized that I wasn't with them. Dad walked toward the crowd while the others watched. My dad said something to the crowd that caused them to cheer again. He had probably informed them that I would be coming out.
"Why are they here today?" I asked, still struggling to figure that out.
It was my mom that answered. "They want to meet you, Megan," she said. "Haven't you ever wanted to meet someone famous whom you adored?"
"Yeah," I replied. "But why would they come all the way out here today?"
"They probably think this was the best chance they would get to meet you," Amy answered. "You have to admit that it is hard to get your attention on concert days. But if they are the only ones here, then you might be more willing to meet them."
"I'm always willing to meet fans," I told them truthfully. Both of them nodded.
"But you don't always have the time to," Amy replied. "Your schedule today isn't nearly as busy as it will be tomorrow."
I nodded in agreement. That was logical but I still couldn't believe that they would spend that much time waiting for a chance to meet me.
I sat impatiently, waiting for the chance to go out and meet them. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and stood up. I saw Amy frown and knew that she thought I should wait. I looked into the mirror quickly to make sure I still looked okay, then turned and headed for the front of the bus and exited it.
I heard some of the crowd screaming my name as I walked along the side of the bus. I doubted that they could see me coming, so it was nice to see their enthusiasm to encourage me to get out of my bus. When I turned the corner, the screaming rose to another level. A shrill sound by some of the girls pierced the air. Mason and Cole looked back, surprised. I knew that they were unhappy that I had come out unannounced, but I didn't care. Then they really freaked out when some of the crowd surged forward.
It didn't take long before I was mobbed by the small group. There were only about 20 people there, but they were very enthusiastic and well-behaved. It was no different than any other time that I interacted with my fans. Some of them were happy to just touch me. Others relished in the short conversations we had. Everyone wanted a picture to commemorate the occasion.
I spent about 20 minutes with the group before a blue van pulled up nearby. It was another two minutes before my dad was able to get me inside. I loved spending time with fans, and I could have stayed there for much longer. I continued to wave as we pulled away and drove up the road toward the venue. We rode in the van because the road up to the backstage area was too steep for the bus to drive.
Once we reached the actual amphitheatre I was given a short tour of the Visitor's Center. There was a lot of history at this place, and I was honored to have the chance to perform here. As I walked through the Performers Hall of Fame, I was amazed at how many celebrities in whose footsteps I was following.
After the Visitor's Center we headed back down toward the stage, where the crew was setting up for the show. It seemed so peaceful and quiet, but I knew it would be totally different tomorrow night.
We continued down into the backstage area. I barely had enough time to get something to eat before the Starshine meeting. When I walked into the cafeteria that was located under the stage, there were already a number of crew members, staff, and dancers eating. The room was nearly full, and every one of them was employed to make my concert a night to remember for my fans. I felt overwhelmed as everyone cheered at my entrance, and as I made my way over to get my own food. I greeted nearly everyone I could by name. They all were wearing security badges that had their names and pictures on them, but I had made the effort to learn who every single one of them was. There were a few faces that were unfamiliar to me. Some would be temporary help for this concert, while others were new. I decided to make the effort to get to know each of them before the end of the weekend.
After getting my food I followed Amy to a table where a few of my favorite individuals were already starting to eat. It had been a week since I'd seen them, but I returned their large smiles as I sat down.
"Hi guys!" I greeted them happily. "How was the trip?"
"Long," Jason Olson, the lead guitarist of the band ‘Pop Fly’ replied. The other members of my band were nodding their heads in agreement. While I had left New York City to make my way back to Los Angeles for the week, the band and crew members had slowly made their way cross-country to be here tonight.
"At least we made it," Stacy Miller, drummer, added. "I just wish we didn't have to do it again."
I grimaced. While I got to fly back and forth because of school, everyone else was making two more trips cross-country before we finished the tour in the western United States.
"I'm sorry, guys," I told them. The concert tour had been put together quickly. I knew that my schedule had been determined by what dates were available, and not by determining the easiest way to move the equipment around the country.
"It's not that bad," Sophie Lund, one of my two harmony/backup singers, supplied. "I think it's kind of fun traveling around the country like this."
"Yeah," Holly, Sophie's counterpart, added.
"They're right," Connor Christiansen agreed. "I just miss my family and my gym."
Everybody laughed at his words. All three members of 'Pop Fly' were quite muscular.
"Sarah!" we were interrupted by my dad. "Eat quickly. It's almost time for Starshine."
"Okay," I replied and turned my attention to eating. Even if I wasn't as involved in the conversation that followed, I was still glad to once more be back in the company of my band.
The Observatory had been set up on the top floor of the North Tower. I was excited to see what it looked like. I heard the noise coming from the Observatory as I walked up the stairs toward it, and I smiled as I climbed. Stephanie, Amy, Sophie, and Holly were with me. I'd asked my mom if she wanted to come too, but she had declined saying that having someone as old as her there might dampen the festivities. Mom was only 36, which wasn't very old, but I secretly agreed with her a bit.
As I reached the top of the stairs and headed toward the door, I could hear that the girls were already having fun. I couldn't see inside the room, but the laughter and the excitement coming from inside was enough to let me know that this was going to be a good night.
When I stepped into the door, a wailing, screaming cacophony greeted me as the girls caught sight of me. They stopped whatever they were doing and rushed toward me. I could see tears in the eyes of some of them, and I did my best to prepare for what was to come.
I was still amazed by how excited some fans were to see me! When we actually met, it was almost like they went crazy with excitement. I had never met any of my biggest idols, so I'd never been in the position most of these girls were in now, but I still didn't understand how excited they became. But I wasn't complaining; it was a great feeling to get to spend time with fans like these. For whatever reason, they looked up to me, and I wanted to make sure that I lived up to their expectations and set an example for them.
It took about 10 minutes for them to settle down enough so that I could actually say something. I hadn't made it more than 5 feet into the room.
"Hi everyone," I greeted them. They were all still staring at me. The giddiness on their faces hadn't subsided at all, but at least most of them weren't jumping up and down anymore. "Welcome to Starshine!"
A small cheer rang throughout the assembled girls. Before I could say anything else, Amy took charge.
"Can I have everyone take a seat," she ordered. That led to a mad scramble to the soft chairs that had been arranged in a circle in the middle of the room. As I studied the arrangement, it was obvious where I was supposed to sit, leaving the chairs nearest to mine highly contested. It wasn’t cat fighting, but for a moment I did worry someone was going to be injured.
As the girls settled in, I spent a few seconds looking around the room. The room was softly lit, but I could still see everyone clearly. The walls had been covered with a number of panels or something that had turned the area from a dressing room into what felt like we were in the middle of a field at night time. The ceiling had been turned into the night sky. Stars glittered and blinked all around us. There were a few televisions around the room playing scenes from my concerts. There were also a number of other attractions like a pool table that had been keeping the girls entertained before I had arrived. I was truly impressed by how awesome the whole room was. I felt like we were sitting outside at night, even though I could still see the evening light coming in through the still opened door to the outside.
After the girls had started to settle into their seats, I made my way toward mine. The informal gathering had us sitting closely in a circle. The two girls that I sat between squealed once more, and I could see some disappointment in the others.
"Everyone will get a chance to meet with Sarah this evening," Amy explained. "Please be courteous of everyone else. I know you are all excited, but I promise you will get a chance to talk with her."
She paused for a moment to let that sink in before she continued speaking. "My name is Amy Martin. I am one of Sarah's personal assistants." She then pointed to the chairs on her left. "This is Stephanie Allen, Sarah's personal makeup artist. To her left are Sophie Lund and Holly Anderson, Sarah's harmony singers." Each of them waved and said hello before Amy pointed at me. I'd had to learn everything that I needed to know about this party over the last couple of days, so I was ready.
"The ten of you were specially selected to be here tonight," I told them. "And I'm very honored to meet all of you. Every single one of you has the power to be a star, and when you leave here tonight I hope that all of you shine as much as I try to."
I looked around the circle again. Everyone had huge smiles on their faces. "Now, to start I'd like to get to know all of you. I'll start, and then we'll go around the circle, okay?"
When they nodded their understanding, I continued. "My name is Sarah. I'm from Los Angeles. I've been a Sarah Carerra fan my entire life!" The girls started giggling at my comment. "Seriously though, I'm just a girl like the rest of you. I have the same problems that many of you are probably facing. Boys, body image, and bullies - I've had to deal with them all. I still deal with them. Those things are not going to go away in our lives. We need to learn how to overcome them. We need to learn how to let our inner light shine."
I felt bad trying to pawn my makeup off on these girls. I knew I had agreed to promote the makeup brand, and I really liked what it did for me, but trying to sell it to these girls seemed slightly wrong to me. And it didn't take much to sell them on the makeup. Anything I endorsed was probably what they wanted to use. However, I wanted them to use what worked best for them, not what worked best for me.
The next hour was spent giving each of the girls a makeover. Stephanie and I would separately move around the room to each girl, give her some advice, and move on to the next, with Sophie and Holly supporting us. We must have met with each girl at least ten times. There were plenty of product samples provided by Starlight Cosmetics for the girls to use. At the end of the night they would be able to take home over $100 worth of makeup that they had learned to use during the meeting.
I felt silly trying to give girls, who had undoubtedly been wearing makeup longer than I had, advice on how to do theirs. I left that job to Stephanie. Instead, I spent the time talking to them about what made them beautiful, and I wasn't talking about makeup. The age of the girls ranged from 12 to 17, and each of them was so unique and wonderful. I listened to each of their stories and got to know them. We took a ton of pictures that I was going to put into a new scrapbook that Mom had suggested I make. Mom and I had already decorated the cover of what we were calling 'Inner Light' and I knew that Amy had also run the idea of including a section on my website that contained the same pictures by Max, who was in charge of my marketing.
In spite of the marketing spiel that the night was all about, I knew that all of the girls were having a good time. When we had finished with makeup we moved on to some real fun. We spent the second hour working on a song together. We only ended up with one verse, but once we had the song written we recorded it together. I knew that the video of our performance would be included on the page on my website, and I knew that it would help each of these girls relive the night. It wasn't a song that Scott would ever let me put on an album or release it as a single, but involving the girls in the music process brought even bigger smiles on their faces than the free makeup had.
When I had to leave them, I almost felt as distraught as they did. I'd gotten to know each of them over the course of the evening, and I was happy that I was able to share a small glimpse of their lives. I knew that I wouldn't be able to remember them as well as I wanted to because I would be doing this at least five more times. That was a lot of girls for me to remember, but I wanted to remember each and every one of them.
They were what made everything I went through worth it.
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The happy, carefree aura that had settled on the venue was now going to be singed by the blackness of hatred. With a single word I would convert all of the positive energy in the amphitheatre into a powerful force that I could direct into one of my favorite songs to perform.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.05 - Red Rocks Amphitheatre by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: February 27, 2012 |
Author Note: Many of the songs that Sarah sings are "inspired" by real life songs. I'm not a songwriter, but I can tell a story. A special thanks should be given to the artists that helped shape the music that is Sarah Carerra. Embedded in this chapter are the songs that inspired this part of the concert for you to enjoy if you wish to.
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.05 - Red Rocks Amphitheatre
I was awakened on Saturday morning by a knock on the door to my room. After all the fun I'd had with the girls during the Starshine party, I had actually managed to get a really good night’s sleep on the bus. I found Dad waiting for me when I cracked the door open. He was smiling, which I was able to return this morning.
"Good morning, Princess," he greeted me. I pulled the door open further to respond.
"Morning, Daddy," I replied.
"Sound check is in an hour and a half," he told me. "A van will be here to take you up to the venue when you are ready. I'm going to take your mother and Austin up now to get some breakfast."
"Okay," I replied. I glanced at the alarm clock. It read 9:30. I didn't get to sleep in like this often, so I was grateful that Dad had let me. "I'll be out in a bit," I told him. He nodded, and I closed the door as he turned away.
Soon I was ready, and Amy and Mason were waiting for me on the couch at the front of the bus. Fortunately, nobody was waiting for me outside this morning, so we were quickly on the van and heading up the hill to the venue. I closed my eyes during the short trip and let the rush start to build.
I loved performance days! It was like a non-stop rush of adrenaline all day. I couldn't imagine doing anything else for a living anymore. Being up on stage was my drug, and I was totally ecstatic that it was legal.
When we arrived backstage Mason, Amy, and I made our way to the dining room where the crew was eating to get our own breakfast. My family was just finishing up, but stayed to talk while we ate.
The sound check then came and went without any problems, and I was able to hang out with some crew members in The Observatory for a while. Then I ate lunch with the band and with my family in the cafeteria again. After lunch, I took a van back down to my bus to take a nap, because I would be up late tonight with the concert and the after party.
A crowd had once again formed outside my bus while I slept. It was much larger than the crowd that had come out the day before, and I started to understand what Mom had meant when she said it was hard to get my attention on the day of a concert. They cheered and some even cried when I stepped off the bus. But I didn't get to spend as much time with them as I had with the group yesterday. Soon I was ushered into the van to take me back up to the backstage area.
There were still a couple of hours before 'Poptacular', the band opening for me, took the stage. I lounged in the dressing room with my band. I was a bit of an outcast from them, because I was the star and because I was several years younger than they were. Nevertheless, we were good friends, and I enjoyed any time that I got to spend with them.
"Have you seen the tunnel yet?" Stacy asked me.
"The what?" I queried back. I had no idea what he was talking about.
"The tunnel," he stated. "It goes up to a sound booth or something. But, well...come and see."
He stood up and motioned for me to follow as he moved toward the door. I stood to follow, and the rest of the band followed me. Stacy had piqued my curiosity now.
Stacy led us through a couple of hallways. I had not been in this part of the backstage area. But when he turned another corner and walked through a door into a concrete stairwell, I was stunned. Lining the walls and even some of the steps were signatures and dedications!
"Whoa," escaped my lips as I started moving up the stairs and reading some of the names. There were some BIG performers listed!
"I guess performers here have been signing their names for a while now," Stacy explained. Then I noticed his grin as he pulled out a large, permanent marker. I smiled back and took the proffered item from him.
It took us a while to find a space big enough, but after signing my name and dating it, I happily handed the marker back to Stacy so he could do the same. Seeing all five of their names signed next to mine reminded me just how lucky I was to have them in my life.
That same feeling flowed through me once again a few hours later when I squeezed the band's Carerra Bear as hard as I could while imagining us having an amazing performance. Afterward I took a deep breath and passed the bear to Sophie, who did the same thing.
When I was 10 I had been in a bad car accident. I had ended up in the hospital with some major injuries that had first led my family and me to start questioning my gender. While I was there, my dad had given me a teddy bear. Over the years I had hugged that bear any time I needed something to hug - something to take away the worries in my life. I'd had Dad make some smaller replicas of those bears with Sarah's signature on them that I could give to the fans who really touched me. But I had also had him get another one that was the same size as the original, and which had all of our signatures on it.
It was made for this purpose. Once each of the band members had held the bear they passed it back to me. I then held it out in front of me at arm's length, and each of them reached out and placed their hand on it.
"Let's get this party started!" we yelled together before once more laughing at our antics. Perhaps it was a silly pre-concert ritual, but it always brought us together and prepared us for what was to come.
The cheer of the crowd echoed throughout the amphitheatre once again as I finished singing a cover of The Corr's 'Breathless' for them. I was wearing the sophisticated little black dress that Julia, my image consultant, had picked out for the "elegant" section of the concert that I had just completed. The rush of adrenaline pumping through my body was at an all-time high again as I relished in the screaming and clapping of the crowd. I had just played two cover songs in a row, and I was about to drop into a third, yet they cheered just as hard as if the songs had been my own.
Once the crowd started to die down a bit, I turned to introducing the next song.
"We've talked a lot about the beginning of relationships this evening," I told the crowd. "But unfortunately most relationships also have an end. I thought it would only be fitting to take some time and explore the other side of a relationship. What do you think?"
A small cheer echoed throughout the venue once more. I doubted they really cared what I sang about as long as I kept singing.
"Not all relationships end in heartache," I told the crowd. "Some end with a mutual understanding. One or both people might realize that it just isn't working. But many times after those relationships there are regrets. Was it the right decision? Could it have worked?"
I paused for a moment to let that sink in. "Usually one of the people in these types of breakups doesn’t want it to end. They tell you to 'Stay', and if you don't, they secretly hope that the next time they see you, you'll reply, 'I Missed You'."
A low rumble passed through the crowd. Some of them realized what I was going to sing, but most of them didn't. However, as the soft chords coming from Jason's guitar echoed off the two large rocks to either side of the venue, the rumble grew. Those who didn't know Lisa Loeb's 'Stay (I Missed You)' were in for a treat. Those who had heard the song before seemed to enjoy it as I continued to sing the cover. This song was older than I was, but that didn't mean that I couldn't love it as much as anyone that had listened to it when it was on the radio.
When the song came to an end and I lowered the microphone, the audience agreed with me. They roared as loudly as they had for any of my own songs, and I reveled in it for a moment. I liked each of the covers that I was singing during my concert, but they still didn't hold a candle in my heart like my own music did.
As I returned to my own music after singing three covers in a row, I had an extra large smile on my face. The band had written this next song for me, and I had done my best to honor them with it. This time would be no exception.
"Sometimes relationships end badly," I told the crowd. I knew this song had been inspired by relationships that the band members had been in during their lives. I knew that it meant something to them, even if I hadn't experienced the emotions the song talked about in my own life. "People sometimes stray. Sometimes I worry about what they are doing when I'm not around. But the truth is always revealed when they look 'Into My Eyes'."
Jason and I launched into the song immediately with a fast, upbeat tempo that raised the energy in the amphitheatre immediately. I continued to sing through the first verse that talked about the guy I was with, and how I was starting to get suspicious about his activities. Then just before we ramped up into the chorus I questioned him. After looking into my eyes, I knew that he was lying to me. There was someone else.
The chorus brought with it an even faster pace, and I confronted him with the realization that I'd had. I told him how easy it was to read him, and how happy I was to be leaving this relationship. How happy I was that he no longer had a hold on me.
The song then slowed back into the second verse where he tried to explain. He tried to win me back. He did all of the things he'd been doing for months to convince me that nothing else was going on. But I'd seen it in his eyes, and I didn't believe him anymore. We ramped back up into the chorus so that I could once again show him how happy I was to be rid of him. He couldn't hurt me anymore.
To emphasize the point the song slowed once more, and with little accompaniment I sang through the chorus again, telling him that he couldn't lie to me anymore. He wasn't good enough for me. He had to go. When he refused, we ramped back up into the chorus and the power of the song pushed him out of my life.
A cheer exploded around the arena as Jason's guitar played the last chord. I smiled once again, because this song was a lot of fun. But it didn't compare to what was coming next. It was almost time for one of my favorite parts of the concert.
Dancers moved on and off the stage as they prepared for the next song. I basked in the warmth that the cheering crowd had caused to build up within me. The fire, the rush that I felt when performing, always started its rise to the climax as we went into this section of the concert. Every single one of my songs that I loved the most was still waiting to be sung. There were others intermixed with them, but the fun started now.
"Many times we don't see the relationship ending until it is over," I told the crowd when their roar started to die down. "But sometimes...sometimes we see it coming a mile away. Sometimes, our relationship is the target of someone else. How many people here have had a boyfriend or girlfriend stolen away from them?"
I raised my hand along with the majority of the crowd that was now screaming in the affirmative. Josh Holliday's heart had been stolen away from me, even if it had been in an odd, twisted sort of way. I knew the emotions that I had felt when I found out that another girl had captured him had come into play when the band and I had written this song together. I also knew that Jason had particularly felt vindictive about this after watching a girl he had really loved be swept away by who he thought was a friend. I knew what it felt like to feel helpless in getting him back. I knew what it felt like to wish there was something I could do, only to be left disappointed.
But that was not what the next song was about.
"There's only one thing to do," I told the crowd, pouring vehemence into my voice. The happy, carefree aura that had settled on the venue was now going to be singed by the blackness of hatred. With a single word I would convert all of the positive energy in the amphitheatre into a powerful force that I could direct into one of my favorite songs to perform.
Before the audience realized what I was talking about, the blare of Stacy's drums drowned the entire area in a frenzy of noise. When Jason and Connor joined him moments later it was with a speed and passion that put my previous song to shame. The dancers and I were frenetically moving around the stage to help sell the scene.
This continued for over 15 seconds before I slowed down and moved toward the center of the stage. Two of the male dancers slowed and followed me. As the volume in the stadium dropped ever so slightly they reached out and grabbed either side of my dress.
"Revenge."
The word I growled lit the amphitheatre like an explosion. Red and amber lights cast a menacing aura on the stage. The two dancers tugged and moved away from me, taking the little black dress I had been wearing with them. I was now clad only in a tight, short red dress that shimmered with every move.
A cheer reached me from the audience, but I was already preparing for the first verse. As the frenetic pace slowed, one of the male dancers started slowly dancing with me. I started singing about how happy I was with my boyfriend, until she showed up. The dancer representing the girl didn't look like much, which was why I sang about how much I had underestimated the girl who was stealing my boyfriend away. I finished the first verse with a vow that I would never forget what she had done.
Stacy's drums amped us back up for the first chorus, in which I sang some choice phrases about the type of girl whom I was dealing with as I watched the two of them dancing around the stage together. Then I took the time to remind her how good I was at exacting my revenge.
The second verse was about how happy she felt being with the guy who had taken my heart with him. He no longer gave me the time of day and she never looked at me without a smug look on her face. But I vowed once more, promising that she would never forget what she had done.
When we moved into the second chorus I could feel the energy and see the crowd moving in time with the beat. I relished in the energy and poured it into singing the song with as much menace as I could without it turning dark.
As the second chorus wound down the pace stayed high as we moved into another section of the song. In this section I sang about how unhappy she would be if she too lost the boy she had worked so hard to take from me. I ended with another promise. This time I vowed that he would never forget what she had done.
There was a short interlude where I moved closer to the two dancers who had been representing the boy and girl on stage. Then, I sang the chorus once again and as I approached the two of them, I reached between them, pushing the boy away from the girl. The girl had a confused look on her face as she looked around for the boy, who was now on the far side of the stage.
The whole scene was symbolic. The song didn't actually say what I did to exact my revenge. Only a change in the sound and demeanor indicated that something had happened.
But happened it had. As the chorus ended, the shift in sound occurred and I flat out sang to the girl, asking her if she still felt she had won. At first, it was apparent that she didn't know what I was talking about, but as the song came to a sudden, abrupt ending I smiled evilly. Her face turned to one of horror as she realized I was the cause of the missing boy. The stage lights went dark, and only the two of us were bathed in a red spotlight as she fell to the ground, motionless. A moment later, the venue went pitch black.
After I left the stage and took a shower, Mom insisted that I wear simple jeans and a tee instead of putting the wig and glam back on. Stephanie then reapplied my makeup, but it was quite different than how I normally did it. I looked nothing like Sarah when they were through with me!
Donning a backstage pass with Megan's name on it, instead of Sarah's, I was then led out of my dressing room and toward the Observatory. I didn't know what Mom was planning, but Amy obviously agreed, and as the three of us made our way up to the room I could only hear the excitement from the room grow as we approached.
There were over 20 people in the room when we stepped in, making use of the entertainment center, the ping pong table, and the other activities available. At first the burst of excitement that erupted as we entered started to overwhelm me, and I nearly forgot how I was dressed! When the fans realized I wasn't Sarah the energy immediately dropped, which was something that I wasn't used to. However, it was enough for Amy to get their attention.
"Hi, everyone," she greeted the assembled crowd. They had already been waiting for nearly 30 minutes as I showered and tried to recuperate after the show. "I want to welcome you all to the first ever Star Party." A small cheer rose before Amy could continue. "Sarah and the band will be by shortly," she managed to get out before the room erupted into mayhem.
Normally, I didn't get to see all of this giddiness when I arrived, as I was always quickly overwhelmed by the fans trying to interact with me. Watching them cheer and scream for me at a distance was quite surreal! Even the thought that I would be there in a few minutes was enough to turn many of the young girls and other fans into quivering puddles of excitement.
I looked around the room, mesmerized at how devout these people were. I hadn't done anything other than to write and perform a few songs for them. Yet they showed a devotion to me that I couldn't understand. Yes, I thought I had good music, but was it good enough for this?
Amy tried to continue speaking, but she had lost the crowd by that point. Instead, she turned to indicate that I should actually go get ready to meet them. I nodded, and Mom and I turned to make our way back down the stairs to my dressing room while Amy waited for the chance to be able to answer any of the questions the fans might have and address any other issues that might come up.
"Thank you," I told my mom after we returned to my dressing room. She nodded, and I turned toward the five other people who were sitting in the room with their mouths agape.
"What on earth have you been up to!?" Sophie asked first. I easily heard the curiosity in her voice. It wasn't often that they saw Megan walking around one of the concert venues.
I laughed at her tone, and then I smiled. "My mom took me to see what happens when you tell a bunch of fans that Sarah would be by to meet them," I told them, continuing to laugh at the fond memories I had just made. "And I thought they were insane when they met me. They go crazy just waiting for me to appear!"
The rest of my band, with whom I shared this dressing room, promptly laughed. I felt sure they had seen those reactions before, but I hadn't. It was humbling to see how popular I had become, and now I was excited to get to meet them for real.
The band waited patiently as I changed, replaced the wig, and submitted to Stephanie's administrations. I knew Amy had promised the crowd that I would be by shortly, but it took at least 15 minutes before we left the dressing room for the second time. The general feeling of excitement surrounding the entrance to the Observatory hadn't changed though.
The screams and giddiness that I had experienced earlier were multiplied tenfold when I stepped back into the room. Selfishly, perhaps, I loved the sounds and feelings that washed over me as I entered. I relished in the sheer power of the emotions that these lucky fans felt at meeting me for the first time. I knew I would do everything in my power to make sure that I could call every single one of them a friend by the end of the night.
I didn't make it two steps before I had a little girl launch herself at me. I quickly opened my arms to catch her, and found myself holding an angel who couldn't have been older than 2 or 3. I wasn't all that strong, and she was a bit heavy to carry, but I tried to hold on to her as best as I could while the initial rush surrounded me. I tried to hug, shake hands, or just smile at everyone as they all tried to catch my attention. Words were flying all around me, but I couldn't make out any of them.
It was a good ten minutes before I was able to move myself through the crowd far enough to where I could place the girl down on a couch. She stood on one of the cushions, placing her nearly at shoulder level with me. I wrapped her in a hug, and I felt her clench me tightly. Flashes started to go off, and once her grip lessened I turned to where her mother could take a picture of us. Then I sadly had to turn my attention to the others. I quickly motioned to Amy, lifting my index finger. She nodded immediately and moved to make sure that the little girl and her mother wouldn't leave before I got the chance to talk to them again.
The excitement never died down over the next hour and a half as I met with and learned about the fans who had been chosen to attend the Star Party. Many of them had been chosen because of their outrageous T-shirts or other adornments that had attracted the attention of those staff members who had been charged with finding them. Others had won tickets through radio stations or other contests. Some, like the little girl I found out later, had been hand-picked by my own mother to meet me.
When I finally made it back around to where the little girl and her mother were waiting patiently for me I started to feel my own giddiness at the chance to meet her. She was cute as a button with her long blonde hair and her cheeks face-painted with small hearts and stars. I felt my heart skip a beat just like it did when I got to hold Heather, my cousin Tracy's infant daughter.
"Hi," I said to her, and I watched as her large smile grew even wider. "I'm Sarah. What's your name?"
"Evie," she responded proudly. I laughed at how open she was. Many of the girls her age whom I met as Sarah were shy or scared to actually talk to me, but she pushed right ahead like I was already her best friend.
"Well I am honored to meet you, Evie," I replied, taking a seat next to her on the couch they were sitting on. There was a squeal from the teenage girl who was now on my other side, but I was still focused on Evie. "How old are you?"
"Two and half," she said confidently while holding up three fingers. I chuckled at her, but fell in love all over again.
I spent the next few minutes getting to know my new favorite fan. Every time she opened her mouth and spoke to me in slightly broken sentences, I beamed at her. I hoped that when I had a little girl of my own she would be just as amazing. Eventually Amy appeared, and I graciously took the item she proffered to me before turning back to Evie. Her eyes, for once, were no longer on me as she stared at the little pink bear in my hands.
I held it out to her and she quickly grabbed it and hugged it to her chest, as tightly as I ever held my own.
"Only my most special fans get a Carerra Bear," I whispered to her. I could already feel the jealousy coming from some of the other people assembled around us. "Hug it whenever you are scared or need something, and everything will turn out okay. I promise." Evie nodded. She didn't say anything, but I could see the gratitude in her eyes.
I smiled brightly at her for a moment before I once again had to turn my attention to other fans. I loved all of them, but fans like Evie were the best part of being a rock star.
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I was dreading Chorus as I walked down the hall toward my last class of the day, however. Today would be the first day that the "groupies", as Ethan had started calling them, would be in the class.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.06 - The New Recruits by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: March 5, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.06 - The New Recruits
Returning to school Monday morning was a huge letdown. I always had such a good time at the concerts that it was depressing to sit in school for most of the day, instead of singing or doing something to further my career.
Fortunately, I didn't have any problems with the other students as the morning progressed, which would have increased my desire to drop out of school to concentrate on Sarah full time. I knew that Mom and Dad would never let me drop out, so once again I was glad to have friends in every one of my classes.
The girls in P.E. pretty much ignored me when I showed up Monday morning, and that was fine with me. It was obvious that some of them still weren't happy having me in the class, but they couldn't deny what they had seen Friday morning. Nobody had transferred out of the class, but I had a feeling that it had more to do with the unavailability of replacement classes than it did with their desire to remain in class with me. Either way I promised myself that if they left me alone, I would return the favor. However, I really doubted that I had seen the last of my problems in that class.
Most of the rest of the school day wasn’t too bad either. Nobody had tried to punch me, trip me, push me into lockers, or generally try to make me look like a fool. I considered that a good day in my book. Then again, I hadn't really seen any of the people who normally tried to do those things either.
I was dreading Chorus as I walked down the hall toward my last class of the day, however. Today would be the first day that the "groupies", as Ethan had started calling them, would be in the class. Mr. Benson had already told us that there were too many applicants to fill the class, and he had actually held auditions Friday afternoon to find the most talented students to fill the maximum number of seats allowed by the school board. That at least gave me some hope that the influx of new recruits would have some talent and wouldn't be there just for the opportunity to sing with Sarah.
The noise that I heard coming from the room as I approached didn't excite me, however. It sounded like someone was having a party. When I stepped inside, that was almost what I found. Mr. Benson was not in the room. However, a band had set up their instruments in one corner of the room. They were playing for the assembled class, and many people were singing along with them. To my chagrin, they were singing and playing my songs!
"Megan!" someone greeted me excitedly. I looked over and found Jane waving me over to where she was sitting next to Ethan! I smiled immediately. Just last week I had told her that if she wanted to sing she needed to find an outlet. I hadn't considered that she should join Chorus, but it certainly would give her the chance to perform. I was very happy that she had listened to me!
"Hi Jane!" I replied as I sat down. It was a little difficult to talk over the strains of 'You Can't Hurt Me' that was now being played by the band and sung by some girl I didn't know. She wasn't bad, but she definitely didn't know some of the intricacies of the song. "I'm so glad you joined Chorus!"
"Well, you did tell me to find somewhere to sing," she explained. "This seemed like a good place, since Ethan and you are here. Besides, I wouldn't mind the chance to meet Sarah."
I smiled. I knew that she wasn't here just to sing. But I was also happy to find out that she was here for more than just Sarah.
Before I could say anything else, I was hit in the side of the head by a wadded up piece of paper. Scowling, I turned to find Mark Corbin smirking. It was obvious that he had been the one who threw the paper at me.
I glared at him for a moment before I started to turn away. That's when he spoke.
"You know, Megan," he said. "You’d better actually be able to sing or else you are just wasting a seat in this class. I know at least two girls who wanted to join this class who are likely better than you. Prove that you deserve to be here."
"I don't have to prove anything to you, Mark," I replied calmly, though my emotions were starting to boil again. I was sick of him picking on me! For the first time since this class started I actually wanted to get up and prove to him how good I was. But I knew that doing that would risk exposing my secret.
"I'm just saying," he replied with an evil grin. "There are many worthy people who auditioned to get into this class. If you are only here because you know Sarah, then you should consider giving up your seat."
"Shut up, Corbin!" Ethan shot back at him. "She's a better singer then you will ever be."
"Oh yeah," Mark said. "I've proved that I can sing. What has she done? Nothing. You're pathetic. Both of you."
"Whatever," I scowled at him before turning away.
"That's right," he continued. "Turn away. Hide from those of us who are your betters. Sooner or later the truth will come out."
I ignored him, and instead turned my attention to Mr. Benson, who had just entered the class. He was smiling as he watched the performance that the band and girl were giving us, and let them continue the song before starting the class.
While we listened, I saw one more person skulk into the classroom, embarrassment written all over his face. My own mouth dropped in shock as I saw him nervously walk toward where we were sitting and sink down into his seat.
"Paul!" I greeted him excitedly. "I didn't even know you could sing!" I then wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly for a moment. My reaction was probably out of place in a classroom, and I felt the shock that emanated from him and the others around us. But I was so proud of him once again! I had first met Paul when we had been paired together as lab partners for Biology. When I finally emerged as Megan, I had almost lost him, since he had been so afraid to talk to girls. But he had grown so much over the summer, especially when he had faced the media after my show at the OC Fair, and now he was taking another big step! This class would give him the type of attention that he always shied away from. I was still surprised that he was willing to put himself out there like that. It was so unlike him, and I was thrilled!
"It's nice to see you too, Megan," he replied, laughing as I let go of him.
There was so much I wanted to ask him, but I never got the chance as Mr. Benson called the class to order.
"Welcome, everyone," he said excitedly while rubbing his hands together. "This is going to be an amazing year, and I'm happy to have all of you in this class. For those of you who are new, I'm glad to see you are fitting in. The rest of you I hope will make them feel appreciated for their desire to join us."
Ethan started chuckling, and I knew he was thinking that most of these people were only here for the chance to meet Sarah.
"I'm also happy to have Lazy Acres here with us," Mr. Benson continued while motioning toward the band. "They have agreed to provide us with the music, and having a live band should allow us to do some fun things this year. Give it up for them."
We all gave the band a round of applause. I knew each of them, and I had been impressed with their ability. They had won a ‘Battle of the Bands’ contest that the school had held last year, so I knew they were talented.
"We start each class with a few solos," Mr. Benson continued. "Everyone is required to sing at least one solo for the class so that I can gauge your ability and range. Do I have any volunteers?"
"Megan told me she was ready," Mark spoke up immediately. I glared at him once again. I was NOT ready, and I had definitely not told him that I was.
"Oh!" Mr. Benson said in surprise. "Okay then, Megan."
"I am NOT ready," I told him, which caused him to sigh. It was apparent that he was sick of the bickering between Mark and me.
"Of course not," Mark shot back at me. "Heaven forbid the princess of pop indulges us with her talent."
My breath stuck in my throat at his comment! I was quite certain that Mark didn't know that I was Sarah Carerra, but that statement was very close to the mark. I even had a song called 'Pop Princess'. That fact was not lost on Ethan, if his expression was any indication.
"Megan will sing for us when she is ready," Mr. Benson told Mark, and I heard the warning tone in his voice. "Now, are there any volunteers?" he called again.
"I will," Jane said while raising her hand. When Mr. Benson nodded she stood up and moved to the front of the room.
"Can you play 'Ever After'?" she asked the band. At the nod of the guitarist, she turned back to us as they began playing. I had a feeling that I was going to be hearing a lot of my own music in this class in the near future.
Jane surprised me. After hearing how much she was willing to give up to be able to have a life like Sarah's, I wasn't sure how good she would be. I knew she had to have some talent to make it past the auditions, but I hadn't expected her to be as good as she was. As she sang she reminded me a lot of Holly. I could easily picture Jane up on stage with us.
It was still weird to hear someone else singing my songs. I had written and performed them myself, so it was funny to hear the different nuances that someone else applied to the music. But she did a good job of not only singing the song, but making it her own. I was one among many who applauded her when she finished.
When Mr. Benson called for another volunteer, I was shocked once again when Paul volunteered! Before today, I had never even guessed that Paul had musical talent. But he too surprised me. He wasn't the best male singer in the classroom, but he definitely wasn't bad. I clapped more enthusiastically than I ever had when he sat back down!
"Anyone else?" Mr. Benson asked again.
"All of your friends have sung for us," Mark told me. "Why won't you?"
I huffed. I was so sick of Mark’s attitude toward me! I knew that he was under the impression that I couldn't sing. I knew that he thought that getting me to sing my solo would embarrass me in front of the class. But I also knew that he was dead wrong.
"Fine," I told him. "You want to hear me sing? I will."
I glared at Mark as I stood up. I was upset, but I knew exactly what song to sing for the class. He looked shocked at my decision, as did some of the other students around him. Even though my feelings were tainted with hatred I took that frustration and hatred for him, and funneled it into what I was going to do next.
I turned toward the Lazy Acres guitarist. "Felix, can I borrow that?" I asked him while pointing at the acoustic guitar that was lying against the wall nearby. He still had his electric guitar around his neck.
"Um," Felix looked nervous immediately. I knew how protective I was with my own guitars, so I could understand his concern. Especially since I seemed to be upset.
"I promise that I will take good care of it," I smiled as I replied. He still didn't look happy about my request, but after a few seconds he nodded his head and bent down to pick up the guitar before holding it out to me carefully.
I carefully took the guitar from Felix and thanked him, proving that I would be careful with it in the process. He handed me a pick, which I took with another "thank you," before placing the strap around my neck and turning back toward the class.
There was eagerness on the faces of nearly everyone in the room. Some, like Ethan, Jane, and Paul, were eager to hear their friend sing. Others, like Mark and his cronies, were eager to hear me fail. Most of the rest of the people in the class seemed eager to see why there was so much drama around this decision. Even Mr. Benson looked intrigued to find out what I could do.
I strummed the guitar lightly to check its tune. Satisfied, I launched straight into the song.
There was some light-hearted laughter as I started singing Taylor Swift's 'Mean' for the class. But the noise died quickly as people started to listen to me sing. This song was normally played on a banjo, so it didn't sound quite as good as I had hoped on the guitar. But nevertheless I watched as Mark's expression turned from one of excitement at seeing me fail to one of shock that I could actually sing. Then he began to look upset as he listened to the words that I was singing to him.
Taylor's song was all about being put down, picked on, and criticized more than someone deserved. There is a point where it turns mean, and that was what she sang about. This song seemed almost tailor-made for my current situation. As I sang I saw that Mark knew I was singing this song for him and to him. I knew that he could tell how I was turning the situation back around on him. I was calling him out on how mean he was being to me, and now he would have to answer for it.
The band was quick to join me when they recognized the song, making it that much more impressive to the class. I also knew from experience that I had the audience spellbound. I knew that they were listening to my every word. I knew what kind of power that gave me.
My favorite part of the song occurred when I called Mark "pathetic" and a "liar". The rest of the class roared in laughter as I sang through that part of the song. I felt empowered to be able to take my talent and use it to strike back at a person who had been bullying me since the start of school. I loved being able to use Sarah to show Mark he was not the king of this class. He had a good voice, but the plaque on my wall I had received for releasing a platinum-selling album told me that I had an overwhelming advantage in that department. He was not even remotely in my league.
And like many of my own songs implied, I wasn't going to let him dictate how I was going to live my life. I wasn't going to let him continue bullying me like he was. Furthermore, I wasn't going to take it anymore.
As the song came to an end, I looked over at Mark with a smug smile. He was actually red with rage at the embarrassment I was giving him. But I also knew that there was nothing he could do about it. Everyone in the class had heard the song and knew that I didn't care if he bullied me. I had risen above his taunts and jibes. I had taken the higher road, and I wasn't going to look back. I had won.
I took the guitar from around my neck and carefully handed it back to Felix while applause filled the room. Then I quietly returned to my seat. I didn't need to say anything else. The song had said it for me.
"Okay," Mr. Benson said, trying to find the words to follow my performance. "Anyone else?"
Nobody raised their hand.
"Oh! My! Gosh! I totally can't believe you just did that!" Jane exclaimed excitedly once the bell had rung and we were outside of the classroom. "Did you see how mad he was?!"
"That was pretty cool," Ethan agreed with a bit of laughter at the excitement that was pouring from Jane.
"I mean, if you aren't good enough for a recording contract, I don't have any hope!" Jane continued.
I laughed. At the end of the last school year I had told Jane and the other girls that I had been turned down by a record company. It was all part of hiding Sarah and to mask the reason why I had become Megan. Yet this was the first time she had actually heard me sing.
"Don’t sell yourself short," I told her. "You were really good too."
"Yeah, and Sarah Carerra is my best friend," Jane retorted, causing both Ethan and me to bust out in laughter. She assumed that we were laughing with her, but in reality she had no idea how close to the truth she was.
"Unfortunately, I don't think we've heard the last from him," Ethan warned once we had managed to settle ourselves down to where we could breathe normally again. I nodded sadly. I had embarrassed Mark Corbin in front of the entire class. I knew that he would try to get back at me. I would need to be prepared for whatever happened next.
The rest of the school week went by without many issues. A couple of people tried to trip me in the halls or embarrass me in one way or another. But nobody really did anything too badly. The girls in my P.E. class seemed to be getting used to me, even though I did get some bad looks every once in a while. I ignored the evil looks because, frankly, I didn’t care what they thought.
Mark Corbin hadn't retaliated either. He hadn't even talked to me since I finished singing my solo for the class. The song had worked even better than I hoped it would in getting him off my back. I knew that he'd eventually try to retaliate, because he was that kind of person. However, I felt that I could handle anything that he threw my way.
I still would have preferred doing something in the Sarah world rather than sitting in class at school. But so far this school year was turning out better than I hoped. People were accepting of me for the most part. Nobody other than Jared had actually attempted to hurt me, and he had been suspended for two weeks for his attempt. He, too, would be a problem when he came back to school, but I was building a good support network that would be able to help protect me if he tried anything.
When I arrived home Thursday afternoon, I was surprised that there were a group of people waiting for me. Mom, Dad, Amy, Mason, and even Stephanie and Julia were there. I knew that I didn't have any appointments for Sarah this evening, so I was confused by their presence.
"Hurry and get ready," Dad told me when I asked what was going on. "We need to go down to the studio for a while this evening." He was beaming as he spoke, so I knew he was keeping something important from me.
He then turned to Emily and Ethan. "If you two want to come with us, you need to hurry home and get ready as Chloe and Xander. We'll be leaving in about 15 minutes."
They were only able to give me a quick goodbye before they rushed to get themselves ready. I turned to doing the same by heading down the hall to Sarah's room. Julia and Stephanie followed me, and soon I was getting the full treatment. They were usually only involved during public appearances, which left me wondering what was going on.
I was still at a complete loss when we pulled into the parking lot of Olympic Records later that evening. I was then ushered into one of the auditoriums where there were already a number of people seated in the rows of the dimly lit theater. My friends, family, and I were led to the first row amidst the soft clapping and cheering that my presence garnered from those already seated. I didn't know most of the people in the auditorium, but many of them looked familiar. It was a large room, and there were a lot of people there. I believed most of them worked for the studio, so I was shocked when the band walked in a short while after we had taken our seats!
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked while greeting each of them with a hug. Something big must have happened to fly them cross-country to be here for this! They should have been in Pennsylvania getting ready for Saturday's concert.
"We don't know," Sophie replied as they took their seats in the front row with me. "We were told to get on a plane this morning, and here we are."
I laughed when I realized that they were just as in the dark as I was. We sat impatiently, looking for some answers. I could hear chatter of ‘awards’ and ‘sales’ coming from the assembled mass of people, but I couldn't fully comprehend what they were talking about. Had I won something that I didn't know about?
The lights dimmed a few minutes later, and the screen at the back of the small stage lit up. I was surprised to see bits and pieces of my music video played amidst facts and information. The small video presentation talked about some of the accomplishments that I had achieved in the short months since Sarah had been created. It talked about the album. It talked about the concert tour. It displayed a picture of the plaque that had been awarded to me when the album had gone platinum. It talked about how sales were starting to take off in Europe, Asia, and Australia. It even mentioned the fact that 'You Can't Hurt Me' had been at the top of the charts for six weeks straight.
I was awed at how much I had been able to accomplish in such a short amount of time! I never imagined that I would become as popular as I had. I couldn't believe that so many people liked my music. I didn't fully understand why I had been so successful.
There was some enthusiastic clapping and cheering when the video came to an end and the lights came back on. Scott stepped out onto the stage at that point.
"Sarah, can you come up here?" he said while motioning for me to join him on the stage. I handed my purse to Emily and stood up before making my way to the stairs and over to where he was standing. The crowd continued to cheer as I walked.
When I reached Scott, he was beaming at me, and he gave me a quick, friendly nod of appreciation.
"Sarah," he said to me. "Everyone in this room has had a hand in helping you release your album. Some of them work in marketing. Some of them are in charge of sales or development of the album or a myriad of other details. Each one of them has put their own touch on your career."
I looked out at the seats. There had to be at least 100 people or more sitting in the theater. I knew that there were a lot more of them in Allentown, Pennsylvania preparing for the concert I would be performing there in two days. I was mesmerized at how many people it had taken to get me to where I was today. I was breathless as I tried to figure out how to thank them.
"These people are here to celebrate with us," Scott continued. "As you know, you and the album have been nominated for five awards at the Video Music Awards coming up next month. We all expect that you'll be nominated for many more awards before the end of the year. Today your manager received a call asking you to perform at the VMAs this year. We are happy to hear you have accepted."
I was shocked! I hadn't heard about the offer, let alone accepted it! But Dad and I had talked about it earlier and agreed to accept the opportunity if we were asked.
"But we have something even more amazing to celebrate," Scott went on. He took a step over to a table and picked something up, holding it outside of my view. When he turned to show it to me, I gasped.
Earlier this week Mark Corbin had been under the impression that I couldn't sing. It hadn't taken much to prove to him that he was wrong. I had also managed to enthrall the rest of the class in the process. I knew that I could sing. I had used that ability to fight back against his bullying.
But as I gazed on the framed award that Scott was holding in his hands, I began to realize that I still didn't know how well I could sing. I had sold out eight concerts now, and ticket sales for the final five were approaching a total sell out. I had started out the summer scared to sing for anyone, and now I loved climbing up on stage and singing for thousands of fans.
And those fans had now given me a gift. As I took the award from him to get a better look I struggled slightly to hold it. The black frame was about the size of a small poster and bled into black felt that was broken only by the large, platinum record in the middle. Below the record was a copy of my CD on the left, the cover of the CD on the right, and a dedication in the middle.
I had received two of these awards from Scott previously: one when my album had gone Gold, and a second one when it had gone Platinum. But this one was different. This one wasn't from Olympic Records; this one was official! The recording industry had finally recognized my accomplishments! I was now officially a platinum-recording artist!
I stared at the award for a moment, amazed! Things had happened so fast. I wasn't supposed to be a famous singer. I had never grown up with that dream. I had never imagined myself up on stage singing. I had never even wanted it. But I would never go back. I wouldn't change a thing.
I ran my finger over the glass above the dedication as I read. The words were nearly identical to the other two dedications I'd received earlier.
"Presented to Sarah Carerra," I read quietly but aloud. "To commemorate the sale of more than..."
My breath caught in my throat. What followed was not what I expected.
"Two million?!" I yelled in astonishment, my gaze darting up for clarification from Scott. He was beaming his smile at me again. I felt the rush of adrenaline that I always felt on stage rush over me at the implications of what this meant. This meant that...
"Congratulations, Sarah!" Scott told me. "Welcome to the elite group of multi-platinum recording artists, and the VERY elite group of recording artists whose first album was multi-platinum."
Shakily, I handed the award back to Scott. My hands were starting to tremble, and I didn't want to drop it. My mind went numb. This couldn't be right! Sarah had only existed for four and a half months! How on earth could I have garnered enough of a following to sell that many records? I knew that I had a lot of fans, but this was ridiculous!
"I think she's overwhelmed," Scott said, eliciting a large laugh from the crowd. I had almost forgotten that they were there in my reverie, and I turned toward them. They were waiting for me to say something.
"Thank you," I told them sincerely. "I can't believe this is happening. I don't understand how it happened. But I know that I couldn't do it without you guys. Thank you."
It wasn't much, but it was all I was able to give them at the moment. A spontaneous standing ovation occurred immediately, followed closely by my tears. A moment later I was wrapped in a hug as Emily was excitedly there to congratulate me.
I probably could not have been able to release the album without the many people who were in the room. But there wouldn't even BE a Sarah Carerra if Emily hadn't recruited Ethan to help get me to the party that fateful day at Scott's house. As I wrapped my arms around her I couldn't thank her enough for what she had done. “Thank you so much, Emily,” I whispered.
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She always stopped to listen when I sang this song. I always turned my attention to her as I sang this verse. Many of my songs had emotional ties that made them great. But no other song was imbued with emotions like this song was.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.07 - The Great Allentown Fair by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: March 12, 2012 |
Author Note: Many of the songs that Sarah sings are "inspired" by real life songs. I'm not a songwriter, but I can tell a story. A special thanks should be given to the artists that helped shape the music that is Sarah Carerra. Embedded in this chapter are the songs that inspired this part of the concert for you to enjoy if you wish to. They are here to give you an idea of what Sarah's songs sound like.
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.07 - The Great Allentown Fair
A small jolt jarred me awake on Saturday morning. I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock; it was only 7:36. For a moment I wondered what was going on until I realized that the bus was moving. I sighed, and resigned myself to getting ready for the day. I would have liked to sleep longer since I never make it to bed early on concert nights, but there was no way that I would be able to fall back asleep now.
I threw back the covers and climbed out of bed. I then undressed and stepped into the shower. Showering in a moving bus had been a challenging experience the first time I had tried it, but it wasn't much of a problem anymore. Having a large water heater and plenty of water on my expensive tour bus also helped to make the experience better.
As the water poured over my body I reflected on what today would hold for me. We had flown into Allentown last night and made our way straight to the bus. I learned a lesson last night when the bus pulled into an RV park instead of a hotel parking lot later that evening. Dad and Amy had finally decided that it was a waste of money to rent hotel rooms when I had my bus with me. It had nearly as many amenities and it was very comfortable to sleep and live in, but it wasn't the same as a hotel room. I couldn't complain too much, though, because I was the only one in the caravan of busses and tractor-trailers who had my own room with a queen-size bed. Nearly everyone else slept and lived out of a bunk, and they didn’t complain.
There was a show the night before mine at the Fair, so we had to find another place to spend the night. The band and crew had been staying in the RV park for two days now, but they still seemed to be in good spirits when I arrived. My bus and the images of me that adorned the trailers were enough to have people waiting for me. I was able to spend a half hour with fans before Dad, Mason, and Cole had shooed them away. Every time I looked out the window of my bus, there were always people hanging around hoping I'd come out again. Unfortunately, I didn't make it out a second time. Instead I was stuck doing homework for most of the evening. Between everything that went into putting on the concert and the fact that I would be sleeping much of Sunday meant that I wouldn’t have any other time to finish my homework. I was able to spend some time with the band and dancers for a while, but it was much less than I would have liked.
I had awakened briefly during the middle of the night when most of the stage crew and the tractor-trailers had left when they had received permission to move into the backstage area. I knew that they were probably still working hard to get the stage set up for the concert tonight. Then they'd have to work just as tirelessly to get everything back out because there was another show at the Fair tomorrow. I didn't envy their jobs, but I was sincerely thankful for all that they did for me.
I shut off the water and reached for my towel before drying off quickly and stepping out. I already had an outfit laid out waiting for me, which Julia had picked out and Amy had placed on the dresser the night before. As I started to get dressed there was a knock on the door to my room.
"Yes?" I called out. The door cracked open, and I saw my mom standing there.
"Are you dressed?" she asked. I was decent enough so I nodded and she opened the door further. Amy was with her. She was staying in one of the bunks on my bus.
"We're on our way to the Fairgrounds," Amy said, unnecessarily. "We should be there in a few minutes. We still have a couple of hours before the sound check, though."
I nodded. That didn't mean that I didn't have obligations, however. The Starshine meeting was taking place this morning just before the sound check. Then I had most of the day free before the evening’s concert. I still hated all the waiting that was involved in being famous. I knew that Amy would try to fill it with media requests or some other such things that she always wanted me to participate in, but I just wanted to have some fun today.
"I'll be up front when you're ready," Amy said. I nodded and she closed the door as she stepped out of the room, leaving Mom and me alone. Mom still needed to shower and get ready for the day, but Amy had showered last night. When I finished getting dressed and joined her and my dad, I had a smile on my face. I loved concert days.
Even though we weren't at home, Mom had decided to make me a good breakfast. Starting a concert day with one of Mom's breakfasts wasn't something I normally received, but it was a great start to the day. I filled a plate and took a seat in the small dining booth where I could look out the window as we continued to drive. Dad was already on his phone and computer, finishing whatever work he was required to do for the day. Amy was waiting in one of the chairs, but she stood up as I sat down to join me on the opposite side of the booth. Austin was probably still asleep in his bunk.
While I ate, I split my time between listening to the details that Amy insisted she go over with me, and watching as the bus made its way into the infield area at the Fairgrounds and then into a fenced off area behind the stage. The band's and dancers' bus was already there waiting for us and would act as our dressing rooms for the day. The smaller bus used by 'Poptacular' was also in view, but my bus pulled into a prime spot right next to the stage. There was also a large tent set up nearby. I knew that it was the portable version of the Observatory, but it looked much bigger than the room we had used at Red Rocks Amphitheatre. I was excited to see what they had done with it.
The Fairgrounds had not yet opened for the day, so nobody was waiting for me to arrive. Instead I got to actually watch some TV for the next hour as I waited for the Starshine meeting to start. From where I was seated I could see the girls begin to arrive and be escorted to the tent. I knew it was only a matter of time before the day really started to get interesting.
Eventually the time came and Amy, Stephanie and I made our way over to the Observatory. The extra space in the tent meant that the room had been set up differently than it had at Red Rocks, but all of the same pieces were still there. The couches, the pool, ping pong and foosball tables were all there. More TV’s filled the walls displaying images and videos of me. Yet the entire thing was still recognizable and I immediately felt comfortable with the surroundings.
The girls who had been invited to the Starshine party were just as happy as any other fans to see me. We had a lot of fun together as I peddled the makeup I endorsed and then let them help me write another song, just like we had done in Denver. Then they were all allowed to join us for the sound check. By the time I had said goodbye to them I once again hoped that I could call each of them a friend and I had a lot more pictures to add to my Starshine scrapbook.
By the time I returned to my bus the Fairgrounds had been opened for the day and Dad and Austin had already gone off to enjoy what was being offered. But Mom was waiting for me, and she gave me one of the best presents someone could give me that day.
"Go take off the wig," she said. "I've been looking at the schedule of events for the Fair today, and I was hoping you wanted to go with me."
I hope the smile that I gave my mom was enough of an answer! If it wasn't, the speed at which I sped down to my room to change probably was. I had wanted to do something fun today, and now I was going to get that chance. Spending time with my mom always led to a good time.
When I reached my room I quickly took off the wig, changed into a pair of jeans and a nondescript tee, and swapped out Sarah's security badge for Megan's. The badge was supposed to give me access to the Fair. I adjusted my makeup to be less "flashy", and then I returned to the front of the bus where I saw Mom waiting with Cole. He looked surprised to see me without the wig, so I knew Mom hadn't told him what we were doing.
"Break time," I told Cole. "I'm going to spend some time exploring the Fair with my mom. Sarah won't need any security for most of the afternoon."
"That’s great to hear!" he said, with a large smile spread across his face. Both Cole and Mason worked way too long on concert days to help keep me safe. I was grateful for what they did for me, so it was nice to give them some time off too. "I'm going to find Mason and tell him," he said while standing up from where he had been seated on the couch. "Give us a call when you are on your way back."
"Okay," I nodded and he was out the door of the bus almost immediately. I turned toward my mom.
"He looked happy," she said, causing me to chuckle. She stood up and motioned toward the door. I took a step past her to lead the way off the bus. Once we were outside we made our way toward the gate that would lead us toward the Midway where we could continue through to the other areas of the Fair.
Mom took the lead as soon as we passed through the security checkpoint around the grandstand, and I knew that she had something in mind for us to see. But she wouldn’t say where we were going. We turned right and started walking toward the large Agri~Plex and the area where the animals were kept.
"Where are we going?" I asked her.
"I have some ideas," was her cryptic response. The grin she flashed at me let me know that I wasn't going to get anything else out of her.
I sighed, but I didn't really care where we went. I reached my arm through hers and rested my head on her shoulder for a moment as we walked. It was enough to tell her how much I loved her.
Mom continued to lead me through a myriad of crowds, stalls, and smells before we appeared to be reaching our destination. She led me into a tent that smelled like animals. My nose crinkled, but my eyes lit up when I saw what was inside.
"Mom!" I said excitedly and moved to get as close as I could. There was a pen that had a small pool inside, and a number of little ducklings were paddling around in the water. There were other ducklings waddling and moving around the area. Some were eating. Some walked up the ramp out of the water, and then jumped back in and paddled around again. Others were just exploring their new world. But each of them was so cute! My heart melted as I watched them!
I didn’t know how long I stared into the pen before my mom started tugging on my arm until I was in front of a bubble that was lit by a light bulb. At first I didn't know what I was looking at until I saw the eggs scattered around inside. There were some that had little beaks sticking out, others that had a gooey, icky looking thing next to a cracked-open egg, and a few small chicks running around the rest of the area. I stared at them just as long as I had the ducklings before I heard my mom chuckle and drag me onward. I asked a volunteer how old the chicks were that were running around.
“They were probably born yesterday,” she replied. I was amazed! Like the ducklings, these chicks were yellow. But they were only one day old, and they were already running around!
We spent a lot of time in that tent. I got to pet rabbits, goats, piglets, and even a cute little lamb! I had never done anything like this before and I felt like a little girl again. I felt like I did on those days that were in my special photo album at home. The album that held pictures of the best days of my life inside. The album of the pictures of Mom and me together alone.
As we exited the tent I turned to Mom and wrapped her in a hug. I was always so caught up in preparations during concert days that I always missed the small things in my life. I missed having my mom with me. I couldn't hug her and spend time with her while wearing the wig like I could now. Sarah didn't have any family with her, and I was beginning to realize how much that hurt.
We saw another building with a sign that read “Cavies”.
“What are cavies?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” my mom smiled. “Let’s find out.”
We walked inside and found that ‘cavies’ meant ‘rabbits’, and there were hundreds of them! There were different varieties, sizes, and colors. I was surprised to see that some rabbits had ears that didn’t stand up straight; they flopped down like the dog that lived down the street from us. There were white, black, brown, and spotted rabbits. I fell in love with them just like I had the ducklings and chicks!
Mom and I continued around the Fair. We saw cows, sheep and pigs. I even saw a baby calf that was less than two weeks old! I almost threw up around the pig stalls, and Mom finally relented and led us away when she realized I wasn't going to stop dry heaving at the smell. But even so, spending time with her was worth it.
We wandered through the Agri-Plex; there must have been thousands of baked goods, flowers, crafts, and other items on display! Some of the items had even won some type of award according to the ribbons that accompanied them. We spent almost as long in there as we had at the Petting Zoo. When we finally exited we even had time to see the racing pigs before we had to start our return to the backstage area. That was a sight to see!
We detoured through the other end of the Fairgrounds on our way back to the bus, and found a tent where the musicians were playing polkas, and an older crowd was dancing to them. The music was quite different from my music, but it was lively and the crowd obviously liked dancing to the songs. The dancers reminded me of the birthday party we’d had for Gran a couple of years ago.
I wanted to spend more time with Mom, but I had to let her go as we boarded the bus and I headed back into my room to once again put Sarah on. I wanted to be Megan for a while longer and spend some more time with my mom, but that was no longer an option.
The red light that had been bathing me as I exacted my revenge once more was abruptly turned off on schedule, throwing the stage into darkness. The crowd started cheering, but I didn't get to enjoy it the way I usually did after a song because I had to rush off stage for another costume change.
When I reached the changing booth I was ushered inside and the women started working on me immediately. One of them pulled the red dress I had only worn for one song over my head. Once the dress was off I heard the crowd settle down in the darkness of the stage. The music started up immediately in the blackness. Connor was playing a low, soft melody for the waiting crowd.
Without dropping my arms a new dress was pulled on. This dress was one of my favorite dresses. It was a bit short, but it looked like a million dollars. It didn't have the shiny "glam" that most of the other dresses had, instead relying on a high-fashion, haute couture look. It wasn't the type of dress that Sarah usually wore, but it still totally fit her personality.
As Connor finished playing his intro a soft, yellowish-white spotlight illuminated Stacy as he joined Connor with a steady beat of his drums. They continued to play together; Stacy remained illuminated while Connor was in the dark for a few more seconds. Then a soft, bluish-white spotlight began to shine down on Connor as he and Stacy moved into the next section of the song that increased the pace a bit. Stephanie was now finishing up my makeup, and I hurried to get onto the stage and into place.
As I reached my designated spot on stage, I turned to see a soft, greenish-white spotlight illuminate Jason as he joined the other two band members, bringing with him the beautiful melody that made this one of my favorite songs. This song had been written for me by the band and by Sophie and Holly. It was nice to give them a bit of recognition in the spotlight, even if it was only a distraction to give me time to change and make it back to the stage without interrupting the concert.
It was nearly 15 seconds later when the soft, pinkish-white shone down upon me as I started to sing. It had been nearly a whole minute since the first notes had sprung forth from Connor's guitar.
The crowd cheered as they got a look at me and realized that I had changed once again. They always did. But I continued to sing the soft, sweet song that the girls had written. Once I had finished singing the first verse the rest of the stage was illuminated with a soft glow. The dancers could be seen now, flowing around the stage in graceful movements.
This song, 'Dreams', talked about living your dreams and had specifically been inspired by how Sophie and Holly felt when they were up on stage with me. A soft, purple-white light illuminated the girls as I did the best job I could in singing their song. It was a departure from the type of music that I wrote myself, but it was so peaceful and beautiful.
It was a large contrast from the gritty song that I had just sung for the crowd to the soft, serene piece that followed it. The song helped to bring the emotions that 'Revenge' had poured into the air down to earth again.
This time, when the song came to an end, I remained on the stage and basked in the rush as the crowd roared its approval once again.
As the crowd’s noise started to die down I turned my attention to the man who was patiently waiting for me. I smiled at Tim as I took the proffered item from him. I had gotten to know Tim pretty well, even though he was the same age as my dad. Since he was entrusted with one of my most prized possessions, I had wanted to make sure that I could trust him.
I lifted the strap up and placed it over my head before turning back to give the crowd their first glimpse of Sparkle for the evening. Sparkle was the nickname that had been given to the guitar that my dad had commissioned for me after my cousin had accidentally smashed the first one that Sarah had owned. Sparkle had been designed to match my tour bus, of all things. The top wood was a gamut of white and creamy beige with a hint of a soft yellow interspersed throughout. That was set apart, however, by the rosette, the binding around the edge, and by my logo below the bridge that glittered in pinks and whites, giving the guitar its nickname.
"How many of you have taken the time to enjoy the Fair?" I asked the crowd. Naturally there was a cheer indicating that the majority of them had. I smiled at their reaction. "I got a chance to tour the Fair today with someone very special to me. I really enjoyed spending time at the Petting Zoo. I've never been to a petting zoo before, and it made me feel like a little girl again. It reminded me of all the days I had while growing up where I got to spend time with my mom. Those were some of the best days of my life. It's because of those days that I can call my mom, 'My Hero'."
I strummed my guitar, falling easily into the nice, peaceful chord that continued throughout the entire song. Much like the soft, serene way in which the band had played 'Dreams' moments before, I did the same with Sparkle. Even so, the songs sounded quite different since one had been written by the band, and 'My Hero' was one of the most important songs that I had ever written in my life.
As I sang through the first verse that described the first day that I remembered spending time alone with my mom I could feel the emotions that created this song wash over me once again. I had found a photo album at home with my name on it. Inside were pictures of the best days I'd ever had in my life. Each one was spent with Mom and was a 'girls day’ out together. They were the only true pictures I had of me as a little girl.
I continued to sing through the other verses. Each one depicted another of the wonderful days that I'd had with my mom and thanked her for all that she had done for me. I sang about how much that album meant to me. I sang about how it epitomized my love for her.
As I reached the last verse where I got to thank her again and tell her how much those days meant to me, I turned and looked off stage. Mom was standing in the small, cordoned off area where the sound and video techs had set up the equipment they needed to run the concert. It was from there that Mom, Amy and a few others were in charge of finding people to invite to the Star Party.
But unlike Amy and the others who were still scanning the crowd, Mom had stopped and was watching carefully. She always stopped to listen when I sang this song. I always turned my attention to her as I sang this verse. Many of my songs had emotional ties that made them great. But no other song was imbued with emotions like this song was.
I finished professing my love to her through the song and after I had strummed my guitar for the last time I formed a heart with my hands, placed it against my chest, and then pointed directly at her. From this distance I couldn't make out her expression, but I could see her repeat my motions, pointing back at me.
The crowd started cheering again, and mixed in with the rush that sound always brought to my heart was an extra serving of love from my mom. Tears beaded at my eyes, just like they did at every concert, but I did my best to hold them back. I succeeded for the most part, but after the events of earlier today it was much harder this time then it normally was.
I had to wipe a tear away.
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I couldn't believe it! Someone had actually found a castle to film the music video at! Right here in the hills above Santa Monica!
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.08 - Ever After by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: March 19, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.08 - Ever After
We had a small celebration at my house after we arrived home from the airport. It was just Mom, Dad, Emily and I celebrating the fact that 'You Can't Hurt Me' had topped the charts for eight weeks straight!
It hadn't even been four months since Sarah had been created, and over half of that time she’d had a song sitting at #1 on the charts. If I included the three weeks that 'Intuition' had spent at the top, then I was even more amazed at the reception that my music had made with my fans.
Every single day that I put on the wig I tried to figure out why I was so popular. I didn't understand how a nobody like me could have such a following. I really liked my music, but I could not figure out why everyone else did. I had never asked to be famous. I had never imagined myself growing up to be a star. I didn't know how to deal with this attention.
But I knew from the bottom of my heart that I didn't want it to ever end. I didn't want to leave the stage. I didn't want to ever stop singing.
When I opened the door to let Emily into my house Monday morning, she looked at me oddly. I couldn't blame her - I had a goofy grin on my face, and she knew immediately that something was up. It was Labor Day, which meant that we didn’t have any school, but I had invited both her and Ethan to join me for the shooting of a new music video taking place today and for the following three nights. Ethan was spending time with his family today, but Emily’s acceptance left the door open for what I intended to do next.
"Morning, Emily," I greeted her.
"Morning, um, Sarah," she replied warily. She wanted to know what was going on.
"Follow me," I told her in response. I started walking toward the hall, and my Dad's office. She followed, but she was still looking at me strangely. I grinned back before chuckling to myself.
Dad was waiting for us in his office. He was doing something on his computer, but as I led her in he stopped and grinned himself. Then he stood up and handed an envelope to me. Then I turned toward Emily.
"Emily," I said which caused her eyes to widen a bit. "I can't thank you enough for being my friend. I can't thank you enough for dragging me to that party and making me get up on stage. I can't put a price on what that means to me. But this is a good start."
I handed the envelope to her. She took it from me and stared at it for a moment. Her name, or more accurately Chloe's, was printed across the front with her address underneath. The return address listed Olympic Records as the sender, but the lack of a stamp showed that it had not been mailed.
With curiosity in her eyes she turned the envelope over and slid her finger under the lip, tearing it open. She didn't say anything as she pulled out the piece of paper inside. Her head tilted to the side a moment later as her face took on a look of puzzlement. Then her eyes flew wide open in shock. I couldn't remember the last time she had been so wide-eyed! I didn't blame her because there were more zeros than she was used to seeing on a check.
"No, Megan!" she said immediately. "I can't accept this!"
"Yes, you can," I told her. "You've earned it."
"No, Megan," she said again. "I'm not taking your money!"
"It isn't my money," I told her. "This is your first royalty check for the songs we wrote together."
Her mouth widened to match her eyes as she realized what this meant. I knew that she had been happy when I told her I wanted her to receive her share of the royalties. But she never really took it seriously until now. Now, it was real.
She was speechless for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. She didn't have to say anything, though. I could see it in her eyes. I could see how happy she was. She wrapped me in a hug, and I squeezed her back for a long time. It wasn't until we let go that she was able to speak again.
"Ethan is going to be so jealous," she said. I laughed immediately. It was true.
"The rest of the checks will be mailed to your home," my dad interrupted us. "And they should be bigger."
"Bigger?" she questioned, uncomprehendingly. I laughed again.
"We are releasing 'Ever After' as my third single in a couple of weeks," I told her. "Plus we are filming the music video for it over the next four days. Between the two, sales of the song should jump, along with your paycheck."
She was speechless again. I just laughed and led her toward my dad’s car. I had a feeling she was going to enjoy the filming of the music video a whole lot more now.
"No way," I said as we pulled through the gate and onto the grounds where we would be filming the music video for 'Ever After' an hour later. "No way!"
I couldn't believe it! Someone had actually found a castle to film the music video at! Right here in the hills above Santa Monica! Well okay, it wasn't a real castle, but somebody had apparently spent a lot of money building a house that looked like one.
When Dad stopped his car, Emily and I were out immediately. People around us who were preparing for the shoot stopped what they were doing, but I couldn't keep my eyes off the house. It was amazing! I would love to live in a place like this, but just being able to use it for the music video was going to be awesome.
"Pretty impressive, huh?" someone said from next to me. I turned to see an older guy whom I had never met before smiling at me. He seemed genuinely happy to see me.
"Totally!" I replied, trying to figure out who he was.
"I'm Darrin Scofield," the man replied. "I own the house."
My eyes lit up in surprise. Looking at Darrin, I never would have guessed that the house was his. I had this image of someone who looked very regal and dressed in fine clothing, but he dressed a lot like Grandaddy did. He was wearing expensive looking slacks and a button up shirt, but it definitely didn't make him look like someone who lived in a castle.
"Not what you expected, huh?" he said, guessing my reaction.
"No," I replied with more than a little humor in my voice. He smiled, and I was glad to see that he wasn't offended by my laugh.
"I built it for my daughter," he told me. "She really wanted to be a princess while she was growing up, and I had the money to make it happen. She's grown up and married now, but she still enjoys staying here when she comes to visit." There was a hint of sadness in his eyes that told me she hadn't visited in a while. I was curious why, but it wasn't my place to ask.
"Anyway," he continued, shaking his head slightly. "The house is yours to film as you please. My wife and I will try to stay out of your way."
"Oh," I said. I hadn't thought about someone actually living here. "I hope we aren't intruding."
"It's okay, Sarah," he replied, smiling again. "I want to do this. I want you to use the house in your video. It deserves to be shared with all of the princesses out there."
He had that look of longing in his eyes once more, and I knew he was thinking about his daughter again.
"Is she a fan?" I asked.
He smiled broadly now. "Yes," he replied. "She lives in Connecticut with her husband. He's trying to make partner at his law firm, and they don't get to travel very much right now. My wife and I have visited them a few times, but she hasn't been able to come out here for a few years now. I miss seeing her light up when she sees the house, and I would love to see what their two little girls think about the place."
He paused, smiling as he looked into the clouds. Then he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a wallet. He opened the wallet and held it out to me. I took it to find a picture of a woman in her late twenties. With her in the picture were a handsome looking man and three children, two girls and a boy.
"She's my baby," he said as I looked at the picture. "The only girl in a family of five boys."
I handed the wallet back to him, and he gazed lovingly at the picture before returning the wallet to his pocket.
"Anyway," he said again to break his train of thought once more. "Would you like a tour?"
"Definitely!" I replied.
Darrin led us on a tour of the house. It looked just as regal on the inside as it did on the outside. I didn't know what Darrin did for a living, but it certainly paid well, if the opulence was any indication. The house had a very medieval feel to it in each of the rooms. There were also a lot of Gothic-style details in a few of the rooms that gave it an amazing flair. My favorite part of the house was the bridge that led from the house over to the tower! I already had been told that the bridge and the tower itself were going to be featured pieces in the music video. Most of the interior would not be used, according to my dad, who had spent a lot of time with the director.
We finished the tour in the great room where I was introduced to Theresa, Darrin's wife. I'd had glimpses of the great room as we toured, but this was the first time I'd stepped foot inside. It was gorgeous, and spacious!
"Theresa," Darrin said as he led us into the large room. She looked up from where she was sitting on the couch, reading a book. "I'd like you to meet Sarah Carerra."
Theresa stood up, and she looked me over for a moment without any recognition. It was obvious that she didn't know who I was. "It's nice to meet you," she replied. At least she smiled. "I'm still not sure why you would want to film at this old house, but you're welcome here. Just don't crush my chrysanthemums."
For a second I thought she was joking, but her serious look told me she wasn't.
"I won't let anything happen to them," I promised her. "And thank you for the welcome. We'll try not to be a burden on you or your husband."
She smiled slightly, and I guessed that she wasn't happy that her husband had rented out their house.
"Come on, Sarah," Dad said when he realized that we may have overstayed our welcome with her. "Let's go get you ready for shooting."
I nodded and Dad and I followed as Darrin led us back out the door. I was led over to a trailer where I saw a familiar face waiting for me.
"Hello, Sarah," Jonothon Smith greeted me warmly. Jonothon had been the director of my first music video. We had originally been scheduled to film a music video for 'Ever After' until I had written 'You Can't Hurt Me' and requested to make it my second single. Now Jonothon would be able to fulfill the vision he had worked on for quite a while earlier in the summer.
"Hi, Jonothon!" I replied. "Congratulations on the VMA nomination," I told him. The music video for 'You Can't Hurt Me' had received 5 nominations, and one of them was for Best Direction in a Video. That nomination was credited to Jonothon.
"Thank you," he said with an even larger smile gracing his face.
Jonothon then walked me through the video. He showed me where we would be shooting specific scenes and asked my opinion on how to best transform the song into each scene in the music video.
This interaction with Jonothon was completely different than the last music video we had made together. For 'You Can't Hurt Me' I had pretty much showed up and did what I was told to do. This time I had more say in how the video would turn out. I really admired the way that Jonothon was willing to include me in the process. I could tell that he was impressed with what I had accomplished already, and he knew that I could bring something special to the video.
After the walkthrough of the video I was turned over to Julia and Stephanie, who would get me ready for shooting. They had set up shop in my tour bus, which I was surprised to see had been driven across the country for the purpose. After filming finished on Thursday Eddie, my driver, would be driving it up to Montana for the concert this weekend. In my enamored state I had failed to see the bus parked out on the street.
Once I was on the bus, I lost my breath again. In the front living area Julia had set up a mannequin that was wearing one of the most beautiful dresses I had ever seen! The white dress had a very small hint of a yellow undertone to it. From the simple, scoop neck, through the empire waistline and to the bottom of the full, flowing skirt it radiated an essence that screamed 'fairy tale'. It seemed to be a mix between a dress that I would expect to find a beautiful girl wearing in a fairytale and the type of dress that I imagined Juliet of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ would have worn.
"Julia!" I fawned excitedly. I briefly turned my gaze on her for a moment before my eyes were dragged back to the dress. She had lit up at my reaction. Julia always seemed to be able to find the perfect clothes for me to wear for any given event. But she had outdone herself this time! I was going to need to do something special to thank her.
"Are you ready to try it on?" she asked me. I nodded. I was actually nervous to put the dress on. It seemed so feminine and ethereal from anything that I normally wore.
Once I had the dress on, I felt like I was floating. It captured the feelings and the essence of 'Ever After' so well. Just like the castle manor I had toured earlier, it felt like the dress had come straight from the song.
Walking was somewhat difficult in the dress. The skirt was longer than I was tall, which meant that the hem dragged along the ground as I moved. I had to be careful not to trip on the dress as I took a step forward, and I had to actually lift the skirt up and carry it when we weren't filming to prevent it from getting dirty.
Over the course of the following four days we filmed all of the scenes required for the music video. The first day consisted of the first verse, where the song introduced the young princess that the song was about, and a few other shots that would be used throughout the video. After school the second evening the band was there to film a few scenes where they were featured on the balcony above the library, which made them look like they were playing on the top of part of the castle. The third night consisted of filming scenes covering most of the second verse where the princess pined and yearned for her prince to show up to rescue her. The fourth night involved filming scenes with a group of people that had been hired to play the princess' parents and boyfriend.
Andrew, the actor who had been hired to play the boyfriend, was perfect. His dark hair and dark eyes matched part of what had enamored me in Josh Holliday and some of the other boys who had caught my eye. He was also very nice, and after an initial awkward phase where he was giddy to meet me, we started to really get along. I especially liked the scene where I got to jump into his arms and kiss him. We were able to practice that scene a lot before Jonothon was happy with what we had given him.
"That's a wrap!" Jonothon called late Thursday evening. The light was starting to wane, but we had accomplished everything that he had set out to film. I couldn't wait to see how the video turned out.
"Bye, Andrew," I said with a wave as I climbed into Dad's car 45 minutes later. He was still staring at me and I hoped that this would not be the last time that I saw him.
"Hello?" the girl on the phone asked after the call had connected.
"Hello, Maddie," I greeted her calmly.
"Sarah!" she screamed excitedly. I hadn't expected her to call me by that name, but it didn't surprise me. A moment later I heard a click and I knew that I was on speakerphone because I could hear a couple of other girls start screaming, and it wasn't in the background. I had to wait a minute or two before I was able to say anything more.
"They sound excited," I mentioned to my cousin Madison. She was the only female cousin I had on Dad's side of the family.
"They are," she replied. I heard one of them scream again and the other was saying something about her disbelief that I was actually on the phone.
"They didn't believe you, did they?" I asked next, chuckling at their reactions.
"No," Madison replied with a chuckle of her own. "They didn't."
"What are their names?" I asked. It sounded like they were trying to settle down, but I could still picture them jumping around in excitement. I had seen how excited fans get when they meet me, and these two had just found out that the offer I had extended to Madison was real.
"The one still screaming is Tori, and the one who is still dancing around in excitement is Rachel," Maddie replied.
"It's nice to meet you Tori and Rachel," I said, which caused both of them to scream again. They were so loud that I had to actually move the phone away from my ear. When I returned the phone to my ear they were still screaming, but it was tolerable. I knew that Madison had taken me off of speakerphone.
"Sorry," she said, and I guessed she had probably been overwhelmed with the volume on her end of the call like I had on my own. "I've never seen them so excited before. I can't imagine how bad it's going to be when you actually get here."
I chuckled again. "I can," I told her truthfully. "This is actually normal."
"Are you serious?" she replied, amazed.
I nodded, before I realized that she couldn't see me. "Yes," I replied. "It's really cool when I meet new fans. I've never heard people scream and lose control like they do when they meet me. I still can't understand why, but I'm not complaining."
"This is going to be a fun weekend then," she said. I had to agree with her. Sarah Carerra was playing Missoula, Montana this weekend, which is where Madison lived. The entire tour stop was planned only because we had family there. Dad always jumped at a chance to see his brother, and I was more than willing to perform a concert for Madison and her friends, and the more than 5,700 other fans who would be there. Madison had helped me co-write a song, which made it only fitting that we perform in her city.
"The party bus is on the way," I told her.
"Oh," Madison said in surprise. "You mean it isn't already down at the Adams Center? There are like tons of busses and trailers with your picture all over them there already."
"No, my bus isn't there yet," I told her. "We finished filming the music video for 'Ever After' earlier this evening, and Eddie, my driver, said that he would be driving up tonight. I've been using it as a dressing room while I was on set. You’re going to love it. The bus is amazing!"
"Well now that Tori and Rachel know the truth I'm going to have four excited girls waiting for the chance to spend the night on it," she replied. I smiled. I had never done anything like this before, but I had offered Madison the chance to bring four of her friends with her to have a slumber party on my bus. Then the next day they would all have an exclusive behind the scenes experience where they would get to hang out with me all day. Originally I had only wanted to include Madison, but Amy had gotten her clutches into my plan and had expanded it. I wasn't upset at all, since I'd still get to spend all day with one of my favorite cousins.
"Well, I better not stay on the phone too long," I told her. "I still have a bunch of homework to finish if I'm going to have the weekend free. I hate to think what my dad would do if I didn't finish it."
Madison giggled at the thought of my dad cancelling a concert because I hadn't done my homework. I wasn't sure it would come to that, but I didn't want to find out what would happen if my grades started to slip. Sarah was too important to me to risk losing her like that.
"Okay," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow then. What time do you get in?"
"There aren't any direct flights from Los Angeles, so we won't get in until about 5 o'clock," I replied. "But we'll be coming straight over to your house when we get there."
"We'll be waiting for you," Madison said. "Some of us with baited breath."
I laughed as I imagined her looking over at her two friends who, while no longer screaming, were chattering loudly in the background.
"Goodbye, Madison," I said.
"Goodbye, Sarah," she replied. I heard the click that indicated she had hung up, and I did the same before turning back to my math book.
She might have hung up, but that didn't stop my excitement at the prospect of seeing her again. However, that excitement was going to make finishing my homework hard.
It was a small price to pay.
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Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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There were a number of people gawking from the edge of Uncle Kevin's property. This would definitely be a different kind of vacation, since I was going to be wearing the wig the whole time.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.09 - Party like a Rock Star by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: March 26, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.09 - Party like a Rock Star
The plane rumbled as the landing gear touched down in Missoula. A smile spread across my lips. I'd been waiting all day for this!
Even though school had only lasted until just before lunch for me, it had been one of the longest school days of my life. The excitement I felt at seeing Madison again was big, and now it was only going to be a few more minutes before we would be pulling up to her house.
The trip from the airport took about 20 minutes. Most of it was on the Interstate, but after exiting we ended up driving through some residential areas as we made our way toward my cousin's house. It was fun to watch the people who were outside stop and stare as Eddie maneuvered the bus down the road. Some even enthusiastically started waving, and I wondered if they'd be at the concert tomorrow.
Eventually we reached the turn that I knew led to Madison's house, and I could feel the giddiness that I had been holding back all day break through. I watched impatiently as Eddie pulled the bus down the short road and through the small entryway that led onto their large lot. I got up from the couch and rushed toward the entrance to the bus.
"I'll let you out here and then back into the RV hookups," Eddie told me. I nodded, but I didn’t really hear him. I just wanted him to open the door. The bus finally came to a stop, and Eddie finally opened the door.
There was a small crowd of family members waiting for us outside the bus, but I ignored all of them as I focused on Madison.
"Maddie!" I screamed excitedly as I quickly disembarked from the bus and rushed toward her, wrapping her in a friendly hug. It had only been three months since Madison and her family had come down to visit us, but it felt like it had been much longer. I was happy to finally have some time to spend with one of my favorite cousins.
"Sarah!" she screamed back and embraced me. Then we started jumping up and down in excitement. This was going to be an awesome weekend!
Eventually we were able to calm down enough for me to look around at everyone else who was assembled. I had to greet Aunt Olivia with a hug. She wouldn't have it any other way, but I was able to get away with a verbal greeting to Uncle Kevin, Madison's older brother James, and her younger brother Logan. There were a number of people gawking from the edge of Uncle Kevin's property, which meant I couldn't do more. This would definitely be a different kind of vacation, since I was going to be wearing the wig the whole time. But it was still nice to see them.
"Come inside while Kevin and your driver get the bus hooked up," Aunt Olivia said. I nodded and we followed her inside. Uncle Kevin stayed behind to help Eddie back the bus into the RV parking spot that he had installed near the house years earlier.
It was nice to sit back and relax with my family over the next hour. It was the only time I was going to get all weekend where they would be able to treat me as Megan. With the girls arriving for the slumber party soon, I'd be full time Sarah until we flew out Sunday afternoon.
When the girls started arriving for the party I resigned myself to my fate for the weekend and decided that I should go out and meet them. A quick glance out the window in the front room of my Aunt and Uncle's house proved that I would need to do something about the crowd that had formed at the edge of their property too. News about where I was staying had apparently traveled fast.
When I walked out the front door a roar filled the air. I smiled. I had spent enough time here with my family that I was able to recognize some of Madison's neighbors, but they had never been this excited to see me before. Even here, at the home of extended family, I couldn't escape the rush of adrenaline that a crowd chanting my name invoked within me.
The first person who met me turned out to be Tori. When I approached the car that she was unloading her overnight bag from, she nearly screamed in excitement when she saw me. She dropped her bag on the ground and enveloped me in her arms like she couldn't believe I was there. When I had called Madison the night before, this tall blonde had been one of the two girls who was screaming in the background. It appeared that her excitement hadn't abated at all.
"It's nice to meet you, Tori," I said once she had managed to pry herself away from me and Madison introduced us.
"I can't believe this is happening!" she screamed back, and I thought she was going to hug me again, but she settled for dancing around in place for a moment. She would certainly make the evening fun, if her excitement was any indication.
Before I could do anything else I was interrupted by Amy. She, along with Cole and Mason, had insisted on flying with us and staying the night at Uncle Kevin's. I had a feeling it was for a moment like this. She steered me over to the crowd and I spent the next twenty minutes signing autographs and taking pictures. Every once in a while I caught sight of Madison greeting the other girls as they arrived, while I was moving through the crowd. She looked surprised at how the people I was interacting with were acting. I had told her that people often lost their minds around me, but she hadn't believed it. I loved seeing fans get this excited when they had the opportunity to meet me. It was one of the benefits of Sarah Carerra that I loved most.
Eventually I was able to extract myself from the crowd and I found Madison waiting with Tori and three other girls outside of the bus. I recognized the black haired girl’s screams of excitement before Madison introduced her to me as Rachel. The other two were just as excited. The brunette girl who looked like a model turned out to be Charlotte, and the petite redhead was Lily.
"Come on in," I told them after they started to settle down. "I'll give you the tour."
I stepped up and into the bus, and each of the girls picked up their overnight bags before they joined me. I motioned for them to leave their bags on the couch before I said anything else.
"This is the main room," I told them unnecessarily. "The couch pulls out into a bed, which two of you will have to sleep on. Sorry about sharing, but there isn't a whole lot of room in here."
There were a few giggles at that. I was certain they didn’t care where they slept as long as they were here.
"The TV is hard to miss," I said, garnering a few more chuckles as they looked at the large screen hanging on the wall opposite the couch. "There's a blu-ray player and other electronics in that small cabinet." I pointed, but the girls still seemed to be looking around the bus. They seemed impressed, and I knew that the dark brown hardwood flooring and the lighter whiteish beigey yellow wood paneling that made up the walls looked amazing. The expensive looking accoutrements were enough to bring wide-eyed gazes to those that visited. Some of the girls were staring at the display case that was between the TV and kitchen.
"What is that?" Tori asked, pointing at the centerpiece of the display.
"That is the band's Carerra bear," I explained. "It is an important part of our pre-concert ritual." The girls nodded. I got the impression they knew it was more important than that, but nobody asked for more clarification. They would learn more about it tomorrow anyway.
I continued the tour further into the bus. "You're welcome to anything in the fridge," I told them, pointing at the full-size stainless-steel fridge that had been stocked for the party. "If you guys want to order a pizza or something we can do that too."
I led them further back. "On the right is the bathroom. To the left here are three bunks for sleeping. The top one is off-limits and belongs to my driver, though he won't be using it this evening. You guys can argue over who gets to sleep in the other two if you want."
I continued further until we reached the highlight of the bus. As the hardwood floor gave way to a plush carpet nearly the same color I heard some intakes of breath from the girls behind me. I thought that the rest of the bus was incredible, but it couldn't hold a candle to my bedroom. The interior designer whom Dad had hired to decorate the bus had spared no expense with the room.
"There is a shower in here," I told the girls. "We probably can't all shower in the morning, unless you want to go into the house, so if any of you would prefer to shower tonight that might help." Rachel and Tori were nodding their heads, which relieved me because it wasn't going to take forever to get ready in the morning.
"There is a second bathroom in here if needed," I continued familiarizing my guests with their accommodations for the evening. "Madison and I will be sleeping in here tonight," I told them. "But you're welcome to look around all you want. This wall is one of my favorite things on the bus."
All of the girl's eyes turned to the display case I was pointing at, which made up the majority of the back wall of the bus. It was covered in photos. Soon, unbeknownst to them, their own pictures would be displayed among the other photos that depicted each of the girls that had attended a Starshine party. There were other pictures of fans and friends and family, and I loved being able to take all of them with me as I traveled around the country.
"Wow," Lily said. "Who are all of these people?"
"Family and friends," I told her truthfully. "Some I met on tour. Some I've known my whole life." I took a moment to search through the pictures. "There's Madison," I said while pointing at a picture of her with her family. "And that's Megan, Maddie's cousin," I continued, pointing to a picture of me. "The three of us were good friends when Maddie still lived in Los Angeles."
A chuckle escaped Madison at the recollection. I could see the happy smile spread across her lips. Madison, Emily, and I had been good friends when we were younger. Maddie hadn't lived close enough to Emily and me to get together every day, but we saw each other often enough.
"Anyway," I said, pulling their gaze away from the case. "What do you guys want to do first?"
"He looks scared," Charlotte said, peering out the window. The poor boy seemed to be struggling between following the instructions that were taped to the items he was carrying and his own insecurity about approaching the door to the bus.
"Do you think he'll knock?" Rachel asked.
"If he wants to get paid he will," Tori chortled.
"Let's give him a break," I suggested, staring out the window with them. The young man standing at the door couldn't see us through the dark tint that covered all of the windows on the bus.
They were having too much fun at his expense. A groan of disappointment echoed from the girls as I stood up and walked to the doorway leading into the driver's area of the bus. From there I opened the outside door and took the two steps needed to reach the bottom.
"Hi," I said to the boy. His eyes were now bulging at the sight of me. "Did you bring our pizzas?"
I visibly watched him gulp before he was able to muster the courage to answer me.
"I, um," he stuttered. "Ye--Yes," he managed a moment later. "They're right here," he said unnecessarily while lifting up the pizza bag he was carrying. He took that opportunity to look away from me, fiddling with the flap that he eventually opened to reveal the two pizza boxes inside. Once he did, he seemed to relax, at least until he glanced back up at me.
I heard the giggling coming from the bus as he went all doe-eyed on me again. I smiled, and he almost dropped the pizzas as he pulled them out of his bag.
"S...Sorry!" he exclaimed as he scrambled to keep them from falling.
"It's okay," I said calmly, waiting for him to gather his bearings once more and actually hand me the pizzas. It took him a moment to realize that was what he needed to do next.
"Oh!" he exclaimed again and finally handed the two large boxes to me.
"Thank you," I said sweetly, taking the boxes from him. I reached out with my other hand and passed him two bills. He looked at them for a moment before looking at me once again, his eyes almost as large as the first time he had seen me. I heard the girls giggle again, and I had to struggle to do the same. "Keep the change."
He nodded, and turned toward his car. He only made it two steps before he looked back in amazement again. It was a large tip, but I knew he didn’t realize how much fun the girls were having at his expense. I didn't want him to feel used, and he deserved the tip.
I waved slowly and then turned and entered the bus.
"You are so bad!" Madison laughed as I joined them back in the living area. "That poor boy!"
I laughed with her for a moment. "Yeah, well, he just got an $18 tip, so don't feel too bad for him," I told her, causing her to laugh even louder, even if her eyes opened a bit wider in surprise.
I placed the boxes down on the kitchen table. "Let's eat!"
They didn't need to be told twice.
"Never?" Lily asked me.
"Never," I replied.
"But..." Tori said. "Are you serious?"
"I'm serious," I told her.
"Wow!" Rachel looked shocked.
"You've never kissed a boy?" Charlotte asked. All of the girls were stunned except Maddie, who was just sitting in the corner laughing her head off. I wanted to throw a pillow at her, but I didn't have one handy.
"Well, not for real," I replied truthfully. "I had to kiss the guy we cast as my boyfriend for the 'Ever After' music video this week, but he has a girlfriend. I also kissed one of my best friends on the cheek once, after my first concert. Then he ran away to summer camp to hide from me."
Maddie nearly shrieked in laughter at that statement, and even the other girls started laughing. I had a feeling that Maddie knew I was talking about Ethan, and she was starting to turn red from the lack of oxygen because she was laughing so hard. I couldn't help but laugh along with them, or at her expense - I wasn't sure which.
"How come?" Lily was eventually able to ask. I just grinned at her before wagging a finger at her.
"I already answered my question," I admonished. "Maddie, truth or dare?"
"Dare," she replied quickly. Almost too quickly. I wondered what she was worried that someone would ask if she had said ‘truth’.
"I dare you to take off your shirt and go knock on James' window," I said. The horror that filled her face at the idea of letting her brother see her in a bra was huge! The rest of the girls and I started laughing.
"No!" she practically screamed. "Are you crazy?"
"You did say ‘dare’," Tori piped up. "You can't go back now."
"I'm sick of this game," Madison told us. "Can't we just watch the movie now?"
"No!" Rachel replied.
"Chicken!" Charlotte included.
"Fine!" Maddie said, pulling her top over her head. She was wearing a fairly plain white bra, but even so she had already started to turn red in embarrassment before she was even able to get out the door of the bus. She crept over to her older brother's window. It was only 9:00, but his window was dark. She knocked quickly and ran back to the bus. The light in his room came on and a shadow appeared at the window, but Maddie was already back inside the door.
Groans of disappointment echoed from all of us as she reached for her top and pulled it back over her head. She was breathing heavily, and it wasn’t because of her short run.
"Fine," Lily said. "Let's start the movie."
The disappointment we all felt at how easily Madison was able to get out of her embarrassment led us all to agree with her.
"Good night," I called once again before closing and locking the door to my bedroom. Tori and Rachel had managed to claim the couch bed, and Lily and Charlotte seemed to be okay with sleeping in the bunks. Madison was already in my bedroom, though she looked nervous as I turned toward her.
"Locking me in?" she asked lightly, but it was apparent that she was still worried about staying in the room with me all night.
"No," I chortled back. "I'm not sleeping in this," I told her and reached up and pulled a pin from the wig. "And I don't want the others coming in while I'm not wearing it."
Madison nodded, but she still hadn't moved to start changing for bed. Maddie had been there the day I collapsed on the stage of the 'Wake Up!' show. Logically she knew that I was a girl through and through, but emotionally it was still a new concept to her. I had talked to her many times since then, but we'd had less than a day together after I'd been released from the hospital before her family had left to return to Montana. We had spent very little time together.
To help alleviate her worry, I finished unpinning the wig quickly and set it down on the dresser before taking off my top. She felt a bit more comfortable after I had started undressing first, and by the time I had changed into my pajamas and stowed the wig in the small, locked armoire that matched the one we had at home, she too was ready for bed.
"Have a preference?" I asked her, pointing to the bed.
"The outside?" she replied, though unsure of her answer. I understood that she wanted me to decide. I nodded and climbed into the bed. She did likewise, though she left a lot of room between us and faced away from me. She was so far away that she had to be barely on the bed. I thumbed the light switch that was built into the area next to the bed, plunging us into darkness.
"You don't have to sleep in here if you feel uncomfortable," I told her. "I understand. I just thought you might want to. There's a sleeping bag out by the couch if you would prefer to sleep somewhere else."
"No, this is okay," she replied quickly. "It's just...weird."
"I know," I told her.
"Don't get me wrong, Megan," she said, able to call me by my name for the first time all evening. "I know you are a girl. I'm just not used to it."
"I know," I said again. "I understand."
We laid there in silence for a few minutes. It was still early to end a slumber party, only 11:30. But I had a big day tomorrow and I knew I needed to get a good night's sleep. I had offered the other girls the chance to continue having fun until they were tired, but they had all started getting ready for bed when I did. None of them wanted to be responsible for keeping me up and making me tired for the concert.
Just when I thought Maddie must have fallen asleep, she turned to face me.
"Thank you, Megan," she said. "You're the best. Tonight was so fun, and I'm sure my friends won't be able to stop talking about it for weeks."
"You're welcome, Maddie," I told her. "It's the least I could do for my favorite cousin.”
Even in the dark I could see her smile.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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When I stepped into The Observatory for the Starshine meeting later that afternoon I was met with a shriek. Shrieks weren't uncommon during this part of the day, but this shriek was not one of excitement.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.10 - Adams Center Arena by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: April 2, 2012 |
Author Note: Many of the songs that Sarah sings are "inspired" by real life songs. I'm not a songwriter, but I can tell a story. A special thanks should be given to the artists that helped shape the music that is Sarah Carerra. Embedded in this chapter are the songs that inspired this part of the concert for you to enjoy if you wish to. They are here to give you an idea of what Sarah's songs sound like.
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.10 - Adams Center Arena
"Whoa," Madison said as I stepped out of the shower Saturday morning. I jumped slightly, since I thought she was still asleep. If I had known that she was awake, I probably would have wrapped a towel around myself. "You, Megan, are in excellent shape!"
I laughed. I knew she was talking about more than how toned my muscles were as a result of the constant exercise involved in putting on a tour. I knew that any doubts she'd had about me and my gender had just been answered.
"I do a lot of dancing and stuff," I replied in an offhanded tone that indicated it was nothing special. She promptly laughed, but it was enough time for me to start pulling on underwear and getting dressed for the day. She was still chuckling when she undressed and slipped into the shower herself. It was already 9:00 AM. I couldn't remember the last time I had slept in this late on a concert day. I might be able to get through the day without taking a nap for once.
Once I was dressed, had my makeup on, and had pinned the wig I opened the door to my bedroom. Madison was still in the shower, but at least she was up. That was more than I could say for most of the other girls on my bus. Only Charlotte was up, and she had already gone into the house to shower and get ready. If the others wanted breakfast they were going to need to get up soon since we would be leaving for the venue before too long.
As I roused each of them I got to experience a completely different side of the girls: it was the first time that they were actually unhappy to see me. I laughed lightly as they started to stir and stepped off the bus to make the short trip to the house for some breakfast.
Even at this hour there was a small group of people parked at the edge of the property. They cheered when I stepped out, but all they got was a wave. I didn't have time to interact with them this morning if I was going to be ready to leave for the venue myself, and I really wanted some breakfast.
It was another hour before we were ready to leave. All of the girls had been showered and fed, I had managed to eat some breakfast between the phone interviews that I had to do and the schedules I had to go over with Amy. I'd even had a chance to hug my mom to help provide me a very small amount of "family" time before I had to revert to the role I would be playing all day once again.
I longed for the ability to be open with my family while dressed as Sarah, but that wasn't something I was going to be able to do if I wanted to have a normal life outside of the spotlight.
The bus was crowded as we pulled out of my cousin's property. Not only were all of the girls still on board, but we had my family, Amy, and both of my security guards, Cole and Mason, with us. At least it was a short trip.
It was just before 11:00 when the bus pulled into a one-way road that would take us through a parking lot and in a loop around the Adams Center to the load-in doors. The circuitous route around the front of the Adams Center meant that we had to drive right past where the radio stations were setting up their booths and the crowds were already forming. People were excitedly waving at us, and the girls were having a blast waving back. I didn't have the heart to tell them that nobody would be able to see them.
Once we had passed the security check and the bus had pulled into the designated load-in area I was beginning to feel the tingle that always preceded the rush that performing gave me. I grabbed my guitar case from my room before joining everyone else exiting the bus. When I finally stepped off there was a cheer from nearby, and I waved at the few people who were poking their head above the fence. Then I followed Cole and Mason down the tunnel that would lead us to the show floor. I didn't get far before Dad took my guitar case from me, and I happily led my small entourage into the venue empty-handed.
Rosemary, who was my events coordinator, was waiting for us as we reached the bottom. She was in charge of everything about putting on one of my concerts. She quickly handed out a security pass to each girl. The rest of us were already wearing our normal security passes that we used at each concert. As each of the girls pulled the lanyards over their heads, I saw that they had huge smiles. Getting that pass usually made people feel important, and it wasn't often that fans received these types of passes. They would have access to nearly every single area of the venue tonight.
"Sound check is in 15 minutes," Rosemary told me, giving me another reminder of the schedule even though I had already memorized the agenda for the day. "Afterward you have some time for lunch. Starshine is at 1:00 and the meet and greet starts at 4:00. Poptacular takes the stage at 5:30 and you’re on at 7:00. Early show tonight, so maybe we'll all get a good night's rest for once."
I laughed at her last observation. Even if I was taking the stage an hour or two before I normally did I knew that I wouldn't be getting to sleep any earlier. It always took me a long time to come down from the adrenaline high before I actually fell asleep. Mom had already told me that I would be joining the family at church tomorrow morning, which meant that I would probably be getting most of my sleep on the flight home.
Once Rosemary had gone over all of the details that I needed to be aware of she let me go to get ready for the sound check. I led the girls down to the stage where I found the band finishing their preparations.
"Hi guys!" I greeted them happily. It was always a good day when I got to perform with them.
The rest of the band returned the greeting, and more than one had a curious look on their faces as they saw the entourage that was following me around today.
"Who are your friends?" Jason asked me. There was humor in his voice, and when I turned back to the girls, I understood why.
"Girls, I'd like you to meet the band," I said. "The hot one you are all staring at is Jason, the lead guitarist. The hunky one you keep giving sideways glances at is Connor, bass guitarist. And the handsome one you would be watching if you could see him is Stacy, the drummer. Stacy, stand up."
The band broke out in laughter at the way I had introduced them. All of the girls looked like they were in love with my band members, and for good reason. Each of the guys worked out often and they usually caught the eye of many of the girls who made it backstage at one of my concerts. When Stacy stood up from behind his drums there was a soft intake of breath from my new friends, which set the band off again. The girls looked a bit embarrassed.
I turned to the other two people that joined me on stage. "Those lovely ladies are Sophie and Holly," I told Maddie's friends and Sophie and Holly returned greetings to them.
"These exceptional young women are Tori, Rachel, Charlotte, and Lily," I told the band while pointing to each of the girls. "And you remember Madison?"
There were nods from the band members, which created a smile on Maddie's face. They had met briefly before my ill-fated appearance on the 'Wake Up!' show. They were also aware that she had helped me co-write 'Friends Forever'.
"They are getting the full experience this weekend," I told the band.
Once the introductions had been completed I directed the girls to some chairs they could watch from, and the rest of us got to work.
When I stepped into The Observatory for the Starshine meeting later that afternoon I was met with a shriek. Shrieks weren't uncommon during this part of the day, but this shriek was not one of excitement. Instead, somebody was very upset. I glanced around before I was mobbed by the group of girls who had been waiting for me and found a beautiful blonde girl scowling in the corner. She looked pissed off! Luckily, she wasn't scowling at me.
Once the initial rush of adrenaline that the majority of the girls had at meeting me for the first time started to wane and we moved to the chairs to start the meeting, I got a chance to talk with the scowling girl.
"No! What are they doing here?" she accused me, not even greeting me at all.
Immediately my smile hardened. Every single person in this room had been invited to the opportunity of spending some time with me. I had never had someone react this way before! I turned to see who she was pointing at and found her glowering at Maddie and her friends.
"Excuse me?" I asked the girl. Unlike the others in the room who had won contests on the Starlight Cosmetic's website or in local events, the five girls behind me had been personally selected to attend this meeting by me. Having that decision questioned by somebody whom I didn't even know was starting to sour my mood.
"Michelle," Madison greeted the girl in an unfriendly tone. "It's so nice to see you again."
"You guys know each other?" I asked Madison. Madison and all four of the girls that I now considered my friends nodded.
Before any more explanation could be given, Michelle spoke up once again.
"Sarah," she told me in a superior tone. "You may not want these girls here today. They have a bit of a...disreputable reputation."
I felt my jaw drop, and I knew I looked shocked! Michelle started nodding her head to affirm what she thought had shocked me. In reality, however, I was shocked at her accusation. I may have only met some of these girls, but I'd known Madison my entire life and I never would have described her like that!
"Michelle," I said sweetly after I was able to regain my composure. "Thank you for your opinion, but they are still welcome here. If you have a problem with them, you are welcome to leave."
It was Michelle's turn to be shocked. "But Madison--"
"Madison is one of my best friends!" I nearly yelled at her. I didn't know what she was going to accuse Maddie of, but I didn't want to hear it. "I've known her my whole life. She helped me co-write the song 'Friends Forever'. I think I know who Madison is!"
Michelle's shoulders fell. Whatever problem she had with Maddie and her friends she had just realized that I wasn't going to be on her side. A moment later she started to waver in place. I could tell she was debating whether she should stay or not.
"Look," I told her. "I don't know what is going on between you and Maddie. But if you BOTH can put it aside I would like both of you to stay." I made sure that Madison knew that I didn't want to hear it from her either. The Starshine meetings were supposed to be happy. They were supposed to be a chance for me to get to know a select few of my fans better than a simple meet-and-greet could. I didn't need this hostility, and I definitely didn't want it interfering with the experience the girls not involved in this feud were having. Most of them, especially the younger ones, were staring at us like they couldn't believe there was a fight happening when they were supposed to be spending time with me.
After a moment, Madison nodded. I turned back to Michelle and she did the same. I nodded to show that this was past us, and I motioned for everyone to take their seats.
Nothing else was said as we started the requisite presentation that Starlight had come up with. When we broke out and each of the girls got a chance to play with the makeup, Stephanie and I usually went around separately meeting with them. I made sure that I started with Michelle.
When I sat down next to her I saw her wipe away a tear. She looked up at me, and I knew that she was upset with herself and the way that she had reacted.
"I'm sorry, Sarah," she said before glancing to make sure that we wouldn't be overhead. "It's just that those girls are so mean! This is the last place I ever expected to see them. I was so excited to meet you, and then they showed up! I just...I just..."
"It's okay," I said as I hugged her. "I was surprised. I've known Madison a long time. She's like family to me, and sometimes that blinds us to things." I let go of her, and then reached for a tissue to let her dry her eyes. She was going to have to start over with her makeup, because whatever mascara she was wearing had run, unlike the stuff I was peddling. "Tell me what's wrong. Perhaps I can help."
Her face lit up at the realization that I hadn't completely sided with Madison. It looked like she had been crushed when one of her idols had nearly yelled at her, and that wasn't what I wanted her to remember when she went to bed tonight.
"I don't know why they hate me," she cried softly, and I could tell that she was on the verge of tears again. "I met them when I moved here at the beginning of the year. I tried to be friends with them, but they just pushed me away. I don't have a lot of friends at school, but they are the worst people I know."
I grimaced. None of this sounded like Madison to me. Something must have happened. I talked with Michelle for a bit longer. She was a nice girl. It sounded like she'd had a rough time lately. Her father had passed away just before Christmas last year, and she and her mom had come to Missoula to live with her grandmother.
I then cycled through talking to the other girls, patiently waiting for the time that I could speak with Madison. Eventually, it came.
"What's the deal with Michelle?" I asked her as I sat down. I didn't want to hedge around the problem at all. She looked taken aback for a moment, but answered me.
"She stole Charlotte's boyfriend," Madison replied. I rolled my eyes. I shouldn't have been surprised that this was a boy problem. I'd heard enough about boy problems during these Starshine meetings to write a book. It looked like this wasn't any different. Madison saw my reaction, and immediately turned defensive. "She showed up, and Tommy just left Charlotte! They were soul mates!"
I chuckled, which was the wrong thing to do. Madison glowered at me. I highly doubted that Charlotte and this Tommy were soul mates. More likely they weren't even in love. My own love life might be rather non-existent, but I knew enough to know that teen romances rarely lasted.
"So Michelle is dating Tommy?" I asked Madison.
"No," Maddie shook her head. "They never dated."
"Then how did Michelle steal Charlotte's boyfriend?" I asked the obvious question.
Madison huffed. "You don't understand, Megan!" she said heatedly, but quietly enough that nobody would hear her use of my real name.
"Obviously," I replied. "Because I don't see how you can blame Michelle for Tommy's wandering eye. I bet she doesn't even like Tommy."
The look Madison gave me confirmed my suspicions. She knew that Michelle hadn't done anything intentionally to harm Charlotte, and she didn't even have an interest in the boy in question.
"Do you only hate her for Charlotte's sake?" I asked. Madison deflated immediately. "Maddie," I said caringly. "You know better than that."
Madison shook her head, and I knew she didn't want to talk to me anymore at the moment, so I moved on.
"What do you think of Tommy?" I asked while sitting down next to Charlotte. She scowled, and I knew there was resentment in that answer.
"I hate that jerk," she told me.
"Do you blame Michelle?" I asked next. She gritted her lips, and I could tell that she didn't. She used Michelle as an outlet for the hurt and pain that she felt for Tommy. "Then why do you treat her that way? She just wants to be your friend. Did you know that she thinks you should be a model?"
Charlotte's eyes opened wide. Charlotte had told me last night that she aspired to become a model herself one day.
"Think about it," I said before moving on once again. Charlotte hadn't said much, but I knew that I had opened her eyes. In the short time that I had spent with Michelle I had already learned everything I needed to know to tell me that Michelle would fit right in with their group. They had so many common interests, and Michelle was a great girl. But it was going to take something more to open that door.
"Guess what," I told Michelle when I sat down across from her once more. She lit up immediately.
"What?" she asked in a tentative voice. She was excited, but she couldn't voice her hopes. That was okay, because she would likely be wrong if she tried.
"You just became one of my best friends for the day," I replied. "You are going to join me and my other best friends for an exclusive look into what it is like to perform a concert."
She stared, stunned at my offer! If she knew who my other friends were, she didn't complain. All I did was smile.
I stepped back from the microphone to collect myself once again after singing 'My Hero' for the crowd. I made eye contact with my mom, and she nodded. This time, her nod had a different meaning. I had managed to get a few minutes alone with her and had told her my plan. Now, she was encouraging me to put it into motion.
I approached the microphone once again as the cheer from the audience started to die and removed it from its stand. I wanted to be mobile for this.
"How many of you have friends?" I asked the crowd while raising my hand. Another cheer swept the audience, and many arms went into the air.
"Well, I think we can safely say we all have friends," I said, which caused a small bit of laughter. "I'm happy to say that I consider all of you my friends." Another cheer swamped the small venue. I looked down to see Madison and the other girls cheering just as hard. They had been given excellent seats in the first row.
When the noise softened to the point that I could talk again, I implemented my plan.
"I want to introduce you all to some very special people," I told the audience. Then I looked straight at Madison and the girls whom I had spent the night with. I motioned them up to the stage, causing each of them to look back at me in shock. I hadn't warned them about this at all. Slowly, they stood up and made their way to the side of the stage where they could climb the stairs and reach me. While they were moving I turned back to the other girl who had been sitting next to them and motioned for her to join them. Michelle eagerly leapt out of her seat and ran after the other girls. Their relationship was still strained, but it was improving.
Eventually the girls made it onto the stage, and I lined them up exactly where I needed them to stand.
"I had the rare opportunity to invite these girls to spend the night on my tour bus last night," I told the crowd. "I'd like you to meet Tori, Rachel, Charlotte, Lily, and Michelle," I introduced the girls. "Say hello, girls."
They looked uncomfortable to be standing on the stage in front of so many people, but they waved to the crowd. I didn't have the heart to tell them that this was actually one of the smaller audiences on my tour schedule. I couldn't imagine what they would be feeling if they had been on stage at the Indiana State Fair!
I then turned to the girl who was standing right next to me. "And this amazing young woman is Madison Campbell. I've known Madison my entire life. It was a sad day when she left Los Angeles to move up here. If you are excited to be here tonight, you've got Maddie to thank. I wanted to give her the ability to come to one of my concerts, so I brought a concert to her."
Maddie looked shocked at my admission, which made me laugh. I thought she knew that she and her family were the reason I was performing here.
"A lot of my fans know who Chloe is," I continued. "She co-wrote a number of songs with me. But one of those songs was also co-written with the help of Madison." I turned toward Maddie now.
"Maddie, I hope the two of us remain 'Friends Forever'."
A loud beat of Stacy's drums launched us into the song. Jason and Connor joined him a moment later, and I watched as Madison and the other girls started to look around nervously as the dancers and I started to move around them. However, I positioned them in an area where they wouldn't interfere with the choreography, and still gave me a chance to interact with them during the parts where I wasn't moving in sync with the dancers.
When I started singing the first verse that talked about how lame life was when I wasn't able to spend time with my friends I started to move along the girls. A hug here, a touch there - each of them got a personal moment during the verse where I let them know how happy I was to have them on the stage with me. Even Michelle was having the time of her life.
I fell back into the choreography when we started the first chorus, only to join my friends again when it came to an end. The second verse talked about all the fun we had when we were together. It talked about the trouble we got in and the memories that we made. I got the girls to dance with me a bit before breaking out again into the chorus and choreography. They moved a little, but they didn't really have any idea of what to do. But it looked like they were having fun.
As the second chorus came to a close we moved into a slower portion of the song where I reiterated how I hoped to remain friends with them forever. When I finished singing that part of the song I dropped into silence as the music continued, but I started dancing next to the girls again until they started imitating what I was doing.
A moment later the music stopped, and with only a small strum from Jason's guitar I sang a portion of the chorus once more. The girls stopped dancing, wondering what was going on. But once I moved into the chorus again the music returned and they started moving along with the dancers and me once more.
It wasn't long before the song started to come to a close, and not long after that the crowd erupted into applause once again. But my attention was on the five girls on stage with me. I pulled them close into a group hug, and as we broke up I saw some tears in the eyes of some of the girls. They started hugging each other in pairs when the group hug broke up, and I smiled broadly when I watched Charlotte wrap her arms around Michelle.
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Mr. Benson had an excited gleam in his eyes when I sat down, and when he was excited, it usually meant doing something I didn't want to do. Last time I'd had to get up and sing my solo for the class.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.11 - Big Treble in Little Chorus by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: April 23, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.11 - Big Treble in Little Chorus
I groaned loudly at the knock on the door to my bedroom. I knew who was there, and I knew what she wanted. But I wanted to sleep longer. A moment later the door opened. I knew I should have locked the door last night.
"Megan, you promised me," she said, playing to the weaker side of my heart. I groaned again, but slowly threw back the covers. Even though the concert had started early last night I still didn't get to bed until 3:00 AM. I needed more sleep.
"I hate you," I told her while I half-blindly started to pull off my pajamas.
"No you don't," my mom replied. The silly grin she was giving me didn't help my mood as I opened the door to the shower and stepped inside. The warm water, however, did brighten my mood.
When I walked into the kitchen of my aunt and uncle's house, I was much more awake. I knew I'd probably be napping on the flight home, but for now I had to go to church.
It was odd to be wearing the wig with the yellow dress mom had insisted I pack for church. Sarah's clothes usually had much more glam, for one thing. But the fact that Sarah Carerra had never stepped foot into a church really made me feel odd. I wasn't sure how the congregation was going to react to my presence, and all I really wanted to do was go to the services and get out of there so I could go back to sleep.
The ride to church was uncomfortable, since we had crammed into Uncle Kevin's minivan. Thankfully Amy opted to stay behind, since she wasn't a member of our religion, and I convinced Cole and Mason, also non-members, to stay with her. They were wary about leaving me unprotected in such a crowded place, but I knew church would be a place where I would be safe.
Many people stared at me as we walked across the parking lot and into the building. I received many more stares when I followed my family to an empty pew in the chapel. It was obvious that the majority of the people there hadn't expected someone like me to enter this morning. But thankfully, they left me alone. I signed autographs for some of the younger people when we stepped back outside after the services were over, but it didn’t last long because we had a flight to catch. Less than two hours later I leaned back in my seat as the plane lifted off the ground and I closed my eyes.
---
I was somewhat more rested when I woke up for school Monday morning, though I was much more depressed. After getting home from the airport I was met with news that caused my heart to ache.
After eight weeks on top, 'You Can't Hurt Me' had dropped to number two in yesterday's Top 40. I knew the day had to come eventually, and I was more than grateful for the lengthy time that the song had spent at number one. But that didn't make its fall any easier. I hoped that it would reclaim the top spot next Sunday, but I wasn't holding my breath. I had a feeling that people were ready to move on. Luckily, 'Ever After' would soon make its debut on the radio soon.
My friends tried to comfort me as we drove to school, but it didn't really work. I smiled and laughed with them as I told them all about the antics of the weekend, but deep down inside I was hurting. I also had a nagging suspicion that hurt was going to be a precursor to my day. Jared Lumbart was supposed to return from school today after his two week suspension. I didn't know if he was going to be even more upset with me now, or if he had finally come to his senses. I hoped I wouldn't meet him in the halls to find out.
Most of the morning was uneventful. The pop quiz in first period and the note-taking in second helped keep my mind off the fall of my all-time greatest hit from the top of the charts. Everyone around went about their business unaware that such a momentous feat in my life had ended.
My classmates left me alone in my fugue. Time went by, but I didn't remember much. I wasn't fully aware of anything until I stepped into the locker room for P.E. and heard someone yell my name.
"That's Megan!" someone yelled in an accusing tone as I walked down the short hall toward the lockers. Of what, I was unsure. I stopped in mid-step and looked into Coach Anderson's office.
Amber Hartfield was standing there with a woman who almost looked like an older version of her. I assumed that it was her mother. Amber's mom tilted her head sideways, giving me a curious look. The hatred that was streaming from her daughter did not appear to be reflected in her own gaze.
"This is the boy in your P.E. class?" Amber's mom asked her daughter incredulously.
"Yes!" Amber actually screamed in reply. It had been two weeks since the incident I'd had with her in the locker room, and she hadn't done anything else. I thought that we had come to an understanding, or at least an uneasy truce. Apparently, I was wrong. Not only was she still livid about me being in this class, she had gone so far as to get her mother involved!
"I can assure you, Mrs. Hartfield, that Megan Campbell has always been female," Coach Anderson said. I felt as though I had just walked in on a discussion I did not want to be involved in.
I was about to say something when I caught the look Coach Anderson was giving me. It was part apology and part pleading that I not get involved. I nodded imperceptibly back at her and turned to continue down the hallway. I was saddened that Amber still seemed to have a vendetta against me. Most of the other girls in the class had come around after Amber had stripped me of my towel. The last two weeks together had been enough for them to get to know me, and most of the girls realized that I wasn't any different than them.
I didn't hear anything else while getting ready, and when Amber finally joined us in the gymnasium where we were doing our opening stretches, she looked furious. Whatever happened, it probably wasn't what Amber was hoping for. She didn't try anything else during class or back in the locker room, and I was grateful to get out of there safely once again. I was going to have to keep my eye on Amber though, because I just knew she wasn't through tormenting me.
I was able to concentrate a bit better during the rest of the school day. I would have preferred to be up on stage, but I knew we don't always get what we want. Instead I had to get my homework assignments for tomorrow, because I was going to be flying to Salt Lake City in the morning for the only weekday concert left on my tour schedule. I knew that if I came back on Wednesday without having my homework done Dad was going to kill me.
It was with a relief, for once, that I walked into Chorus for my last period of the day. While I wasn't too keen on singing in front of my classmates, it was certainly a nice break from the normal school work that our teachers gave us. I always enjoyed singing, even if it was with a group of other people.
But the bad luck that had been following me since I arrived back in Los Angeles reared its ugly head once again in Chorus.
Mr. Benson had an excited gleam in his eyes when I sat down, and when he was excited, it usually meant doing something I didn't want to do. Last time I'd had to get up and sing my solo for the class.
"Welcome, welcome," Mr. Benson greeted us once the bell had rung. "It's going to be an exciting day!"
I looked over at Ethan, who was sitting beside me, with raised eyebrows. He almost broke out in laughter.
"Today we’ll determine who the top two singers in the class are," our teacher continued. My shoulders sagged at the realization that I would likely be singing again. "Now that everyone has had a chance to sing their solo, I have narrowed it down to four individuals. When we perform with Sarah, these individuals will likely get some special performance time, and will also lead in many of our performances throughout the year."
I lifted my head quickly and gazed at him in shock, much like the rest of the class. While the other class members seemed to be buzzing with excitement now, I was trying to figure out how Mr. Benson could promise something like that! I didn't even know the details of what the Christmas performance would entail yet! There was no way he should be promising anybody in the class anything when it came to the performance!
"Will the following individuals please stand," he continued while looking at a piece of paper. I had a feeling he had the names memorized though. "Mark Corbin, Jane Morrison, Ethan Knight, and Megan Campbell."
I stood up to join the two individuals on either side of me. I was happy to hear that two of my best friends in the class were also two of the students that Mr. Benson felt had the most potential, though perhaps a bit surprised. However, the inclusion of Mark Corbin in the group of names left a sour taste in my mouth. He was a good singer, but he had big issues. I could guarantee that if he managed to "win" this little contest, he would not be getting any stage time with Sarah Carerra. My friends however...only time would tell.
"These are your top two boys and top two girls," Mr. Benson said while handing each of us some sheet music. I looked down and recognized it as a duet that was currently fairly popular on the radio. "They will be singing together so that you can hear both of them at once. After each song we will vote as a class on which of them will be lead boy and lead girl this year. The two other students will be secondary leads at our performances."
There was some groaning and complaining from the other students in the class as they realized that they had not been chosen to be featured singers in any of the songs we would be singing together. I could understand why. The rush that I got when I was the center of attention on a stage was addictive, and I wouldn't blame anyone for wanting to feel it over and over again. I knew, however, that I wouldn't be leading any of our performances. That was one way that would make it easy for people to guess my secret, and that was totally unacceptable!
Jane and I spent the next ten minutes learning the song while the boys worked on their own song, and the rest of the class did another exercise with Mr. Benson. Jane seemed to be in awe that she had been chosen with me. She still seemed to think that I was the best singer that she had ever heard, even though I didn't have a record contract (that she knew about). I, on the other hand, was pleased to see that she was gaining some confidence in her voice. I didn't know if she would be able to get a record contract, but I sincerely hoped that she tried to get one. Better yet, I started to wonder if I should set up a meeting between Scott and her.
Once we both felt we were about as familiar as we were going to be with the duet we would be singing together, we signaled for Mr. Benson. After conferring with the boys he called the class, which had quickly fallen to chatting between each other, back to order.
Jane and I went first. We sang through the song we had been quietly practicing together. I was torn between trying to throw the competition and living up to the professional standard that I had started to set for myself. On one hand I wanted to do everything that I could to keep myself from gaining any recognition in the class. But on the other hand I couldn't deny my love of singing and my desire to give the best performance that I could any time I was in front of an audience.
I had a hard time trying to reign myself in. I felt bad when I watched the faces of the crowd and learned that even when trying to dampen my abilities they seemed to prefer my singing to Jane's. I knew before we had even stopped singing that I was going to get the majority of the votes from the class. It was iffy in Mark's circle of friends, but the rest of the class had already made up their minds. I had stood in front of enough crowds while singing to understand what was happening. I had won them over, and I hadn't wanted to.
"You should win," I whispered to Jane as we finished and the class started to cheer.
"No way!" she shot back at me. I sighed, seeing the same look in her eyes that I had seen from most of the class. Even after singing a duet with her, Jane was going to vote for me.
Mr. Benson had us vote by raising our hands. I voted for Jane, and I was happy to see Ethan do the same. Mark and some of his friends also voted for her, but it was nowhere near a majority.
I had never regretted my ability to sing until that moment, when the majority of the hands were raised to vote for me. I turned to Jane, who had her hand enthusiastically raised. But I could see the disappointment in her eyes too. I knew that she was one of Sarah's biggest fans, but I also knew that she hoped to gain some recognition herself. She deserved to lead the class in our performances, not me. I was going to have to talk to Mr. Benson about the results. There was no way that I was spearheading any of our performances, except for the one that would have Sarah's name plastered all over it!
Ethan and Mark were up next. Their competition appeared to be much closer. Sitting in the crowd, I couldn't accurately tell who had more of the vote. Ethan obviously had my vote, but even I had to admit that Mark could sing.
When it came time to vote Mr. Benson had to actually count the hands. I sat and watched in despair as Mark won with two votes more than Ethan. Ethan looked very despondent when he took his seat next to me, and I wrapped my arms around him to comfort him. He stiffened for a moment, before letting the hug seep into his bones. He knew it didn't mean more than a friendly, supportive hug, but it was something he needed at the time even if he wouldn't admit it.
"Alright," Mr. Benson interrupted us. "Mark and Megan, please step up here for a moment."
I grimaced, but stood up and walked forward until I was at the teacher's side. Mark was standing on the other side of Mr. Benson.
"These two are your leading male and female for the year," Mr. Benson told the class excitedly. "That doesn't mean that the rest of you won't get your chance to shine, but I want you to watch these two and try to learn everything you can from them. Both of them have had some training, and they have a lot to teach."
My eyes narrowed for a moment! I had never had any real training before, but I didn't argue with him. If he assumed that, instead of how my experiences over the course of the last few months had shaped my ability, then all the better.
"But," Mr. Benson continued. "This wouldn't be a proper contest if we didn't crown an ultimate winner."
My heart started pounding as he picked up two more bundles of paper and handed one to Mark and me! I looked down, and gasped. It was another duet, but...
"You have 15 minutes," Mr. Benson told us. "Then we'll truly find out which of you is the better singer." He had an amused smile on his face that neither Mark nor I shared.
Mr. Benson directed us to the corner where the boys had been practicing earlier, and I reluctantly followed Mark.
"You better not show me up, or else!" was the first thing that escaped Mark's mouth once we were out of hearing range of the class, who had already started in on some more vocal exercises.
I sighed. "Let's just get through this," I told him, not in the mood to fight. "Once one of us wins I can talk to Mr. Benson and get him to make Jane the lead girl. I don't want it."
Mark's eyes actually widened in surprise at my declaration. He had never considered the fact that I didn't want this type of recognition. It was obvious that he was reveling in the attention he was getting, but nothing I received in this class compared to what I got when I was on stage at one of my concerts. More importantly, any recognition I received here would only bring the truth closer to being revealed, and that was something that I could NOT let happen!
"Whatever," he responded, and I could tell he was unsure of how to take my request. But he turned to the sheet music, which is what I was hoping for.
An uneasy truce existed between us as we practiced together. This was the last song I wanted to sing with him, and I knew the feeling was mutual from him. But there was no way we were getting out of it, so we would have to make the best of the situation.
All too soon we were back in front of the class singing 'I've Had the Time of My Life' for them. Mark was the last person I wanted to sing a love song with. I knew I could get through it, but more importantly, I knew I could outshine him as we sang. Unlike earlier in the day when I had held back to give Jane a better chance at winning, I did the opposite while singing with Mark. I poured everything I had into that song to ensure that Mark wouldn't have the chance to even mount an attempt to come close to me. And as I watched the crowd, I once again knew that I was succeeding. Unlike Mark, who had obviously never spent much time on stage, I knew how to work a crowd. I pulled out all of the stops that I'd learned in my short performing career.
The cheering as we finished was the loudest I had ever heard from the class. It even looked like a few of the girls had tears in their eyes at our rendition of the song.
When the clapping and cheering started to die down I took a bow for the crowd, before smiling at Mark's quick attempt to do the same. He looked a bit clumsy out of the corner of my eye, but I knew from much practice that my bow had been very fluid. It was the same bow I used at the end of each concert, which I hoped nobody noticed.
"Alright," Mr. Benson called the students to order once again. "Those in favor of Megan, raise your hand."
The smile that was still on my lips spread even wider as I watched the majority of the hands in the classroom start to rise. There was an awestruck quality to the faces of those that the hands were attached to, and I inwardly chuckled at how easy it was to manipulate a crowd. I still didn't know what exactly made so many people like my music, but I was starting to learn how to give them the best show that I could.
I heard a choking noise from beside me, and I glanced over to see the confounded expression that graced Mark's face. But he was staring at someone in particular, and I looked back at the crowd to see whom. What I saw caused my own expression to become one of surprise. Andrea Cooper, who adored Mark and secretly harbored hope that he would one day ask her out, had her hand raised. She was excitedly staring at me, avoiding the glance that might just ostracize her from her group of friends. Not only had I resoundingly beat Mark, but I had won over one of his own friends.
I smiled wider.
---
"Can I talk to you for a minute, Mr. Benson?" I asked as the rest of the class was exiting the room. The bell had rung to indicate the end of school, and they were quick to leave the establishment. I, on the other hand, had business to take care of.
Mr. Benson sighed. It was obvious he knew what I was going to say.
"Yes, Megan," he said. "But I don't want to hear it. You are by far the best singer in this chorus, and I would be remiss if I didn't use your talents. I know that you don't want to be a lead, but I urge you to reconsider. You can do a lot for this class. They look up to you."
I paused, unsure of how to respond to that. He had made it sound like not taking the lead would be akin to me letting the whole class down. I didn’t think it was that dire.
"But I--" I started. I was interrupted before I could say anything else.
"Look, Megan," my teacher said, gently but more forcefully. "I'm honored to have someone like you in my class. I've never had someone with your experience and charisma in my class before. There is a lot that I can learn from you. The way you can control and entice a crowd while up on stage is amazing! I can't wait to see what we can put together for the Christmas concert. But until then, please consider leading this class for me. With you as a role model we can bring these other students up to a new level of excellence together."
I choked, unable to find words to respond with! Despite all of my hopes and wishes, Mr. Benson knew who I really was! He knew that Sarah Carerra was in his classroom, and he wanted her to help teach his class! The look he gave me told me how much he hoped I would be able to offer the class. I knew that Dad wouldn't have told him the truth, and Principal Hall had promised not to tell him, but Mr. Benson had found out anyway! And now he was putting me on the spot!
"I know why you are trying to keep this a secret," he said. "I promise you that it is not my intention to expose you. I will do my best to find ways that you can help the class without bringing attention to yourself. If I can do that will you at least think about helping me?"
I was still struck speechless, and the only thing I could do was nod.
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What I found as we gazed at each other shook me to my core. The hurt, the heartache, the overwhelming desire I'd had to run off the stage came rushing back to me immediately.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.12 - Utah State Fair by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: April 30, 2012 |
Author Note: Many of the songs that Sarah sings are "inspired" by real life songs. I'm not a songwriter, but I can tell a story. A special thanks should be given to the artists that helped shape the music that is Sarah Carerra. Embedded in this chapter are the songs that inspired this part of the concert for you to enjoy if you wish to. They are here to give you an idea of what Sarah's songs sound like.
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.12 - Utah State Fair
A thump followed by a rattle awoke me early Tuesday morning. For a brief moment I was confused, before I realized that the plane was landing in Salt Lake City. It was only 7:00 in the morning local time, reminding me that it was going to be a long day. At least I didn't have to go to school today. Performing a concert was always a much better way to spend the day.
The concert at the Utah State Fair was the only concert that would occur on a school day, other than the one that I would be performing at school, of course. But that didn't mean that I was going to miss much school. My father had already told me that I would be going to school tomorrow. I needed to attend every day that I could so that I could take the days off I needed to throughout the school year. Since I rarely got to bed before 3:00 in the morning on concert nights, I knew that school was going to be horrible tomorrow.
It was definitely a different experience as the small jet rolled down the runway. Because of the odd schedule I had today, and the need to fly home late tonight, Dad had actually chartered a luxurious private jet for me!
But the private jet was only the beginning of the new experiences that I would be having today. In the cabin with me were only three other people, instead of the six who usually travelled with me. Mom, Dad, and Austin remained in Los Angeles. This would be the first concert I would perform without my family around. I was already depressed that they weren't with me, but I knew that they wouldn't be able to attend all of the performances I'd have in my life. Having them at so many of the concerts this year had already been an amazing experience.
When the plane came to a stop I grabbed my purse and my guitar, the only baggage I had today, and followed Amy, Mason, and Cole off the plane and to a waiting limo. It looked like I was living in luxury today. The limo ride to the Fairpark was less than 10 minutes, and soon I was on my bus in the backstage area. I wanted to go back to sleep, but instead I spent the next hour doing radio interviews. Then there were a few more press-related events before the sound check. After the sound check I ate some lunch before I had to attend the Starshine party.
It was nearly 3:00 in the afternoon by the time I was able to return to my bus. I had four hours before I had to start getting ready for the concert, and I planned to get as much sleep as I could to make up for what I would miss tonight.
As I crawled into the bed in my bus, I smiled at the thought of all the fun things that were going to be happening tonight. I might not have my family with me, but that didn't mean that I didn't have any friends here.
A knock on the door awoke me some time later. I glanced over at my alarm clock to see that it was approaching 7:00 in the evening.
"I'm up!" I yelled at the door. I could visualize Amy nodding from the other side before turning away from the door. I climbed into the shower to help wake me up fully before getting dressed and opening the door to my room. What I found as I entered the main room of the bus brought a smile to my face.
"Josh," I said warmly. Josh Holliday had been reading a magazine. He placed it down and stood up before smiling at me. I hadn't seen or talked to Josh since I had left the stage in tears at his concert at the Staples Center two months earlier. It took time, but I had managed to overcome the hurt and pain that he had caused me that day, and I knew that I could get through this night without the same thing happening. My feelings had changed for Josh.
But it was immediately apparent that Josh had changed too. He was staring at me in much the same way that I had been looking at him that night. Whatever had kept Josh from getting close to me seemed to be gone, and before he even spoke I knew that he was hoping to rekindle the fire that I had put out that night.
He was going to be disappointed.
"Hi, Sarah," he replied. "It's been too long."
I laughed lightly. I still thought that I could have gone years without seeing him again. But we had agreed to sing the duets at one of his concerts and at one of mine. Here in his hometown was the perfect place to sing them, so I had no real choice in the matter. Many of my fan sites even speculated that he would be on the stage at some point this evening, and I wasn't going to let my feelings disappoint them. I was still upset at how Josh had treated me, but I wasn't going to do the same thing to him.
"Thanks for letting me join you this evening," Josh continued, his smile broadening even further as he thought about the love songs we would be singing with each other this evening. I smiled back, but I didn't feel remotely the same way he obviously did.
"It's the least I could do," I told him. "I mean, it isn't the Staples Center, but it's the best I've got."
He laughed at my joke, thankfully. I was half-worried that he would feel slighted for performing in front of a crowd of 5,000 instead of the 20,000 that had been there the night of his concert. My concert tour had been finalized before I had really become popular, and both Dad and Scott were still upset that I wasn't performing in bigger venues. They both thought that I could fill arenas like the Staples Center, but I only had two venues on my tour that came close to those numbers.
"I'd go anywhere to perform with you," he flattered me, proving that he had changed in the way he thought about me.
"We have to go, Sarah," Amy interrupted us, rescuing me from responding to his statement. I nodded at her. We had a ‘meet and greet’ scheduled for 7:15, and I had to leave if I was going to make it on time.
"I'll see you on stage," I told him before turning and following Amy off the bus. The relief I felt as soon as I was out of his presence surprised me.
The crowd roared as I finished singing 'Friends Forever' for them. I smiled, and looked down upon the friend who I had sitting in the front row just off stage. She looked like she was having an amazing time, and it was about to get even better.
"Speaking of friends," I told the crowd, with a slight bit of déjá vu from the Missoula concert. "I have two friends I'd like to introduce you to tonight. Is that all right with you?"
The affirmative response was resounding, so I walked over to the stairs leading down from the stage and took the few steps to reach the ground. Then I walked over to where she was sitting.
"In the audience tonight is a very special girl," I said and reached my hand out to her. With an excited gleam in her eye the nine-year old took my hand and I led her back onto the stage. "I met this little girl in an airport earlier this year," I told the crowd as we stepped back up and onto the stage. I noticed that Amy had come out and was holding the box I would need.
I led the girl to center stage where everybody could see her before turning to Amy and taking the box from her. I had never done this on stage before, but this little girl deserved it.
"I'd like to introduce all of you to Megan," I said. A short cheer rose up, coloring her cheeks in embarrassment. Her face disappeared behind her blonde mane for a moment as she struggled to handle the rush of emotions that a cheering crowd evoked inside of her. I stepped back for a moment and let her bask in the full force of the cheers. When they started to die down, I stepped forward once more and wrapped my right arm around her shoulders.
"Megan is my #1 fan," I told the audience. "And I mean that literally. Megan was the first person to recognize me in public and want to meet me. She also received the first autograph that I ever gave. And tonight I have something special for her.”
I lifted the cover off of the box and pulled out its contents. Megan's eyes lit up as I pulled a small pink teddy bear out of the box. I wanted to give it to her immediately, but I couldn't. Instead I held it up for the cameraman who was standing next to me now. I knew that it was being displayed on the large video screen behind me.
"This is a Carerra Bear," I said, causing a small ripple of laughter from the crowd at the name. I had a feeling that most of my fans didn't know that these things existed. "For those of you who don't know the history behind these, let me give you the brief version. I was in a bad car accident when I was 10 that left me in the hospital for a while. My dad gave me a teddy bear to help keep me company. Since then it has been one of my best friends. It is always there for me when I need someone to hug or to talk to."
I turned to Megan once more. "Megan," I said. "This friend is for you. If you ever need anything in your life, this bear can help give it to you. Hug it when you need a friend. Talk to it when you need someone to listen. I still do that with the one my dad gave me, and now you have your own."
I held the bear out to her and she took it immediately and hugged it to her chest. The crowd cheered once again, but I was pretty sure Megan didn’t hear them as she squeezed the bear. I was slightly saddened as I walked her back to her seat, but I knew I'd get to talk with her more after the concert.
When I returned to the stage once more I smiled once again.
"I told you I had two friends I wanted you to meet tonight," I said into the microphone, and I could feel the baited breath as the crowd started to wonder who I was going to pull up on stage now.
I stepped to the side of the stage, and turned as the music started.
Jason started strumming the intro to 'Lucky' and Josh stepped onto the stage as the crowd roared its approval at this new development to the concert.
After he finished singing his part, I returned the favor by singing my piece of the song. We fell into the minimal choreography that we had used when we sang this song at his concert, and slowly weaved ourselves around the stage as we got closer and closer to one another.
When the second verse started we were within touching distance, but we continued to circle each other. Unlike the last time I had sung this song with him, my heart wasn't aching. The feelings that I had felt for Josh back then no longer existed. I could admire his good looks and presence, but the yearning I had felt on the stage at the Staples Center was gone.
But as the song wound to its conclusion, I once again saw something that intrigued me. It was the same flicker I had seen in his eyes that night just over two months ago.
There was hope in his eyes once more as he stared into mine. But our fates had been reversed. I could see him searching for anything that showed the love I had felt for him. Yet I knew that it wasn't there. I felt myself pulling away as he had that fateful night he'd broken my heart.
"Josh Holliday!" I said and the crowd erupted into applause and screaming. Even though it had pretty much been leaked that he would be joining me on the stage tonight, there still seemed to be surprise coming from the crowd. If nothing else, they seemed to be happy to have their hometown singer on stage with me.
When I was able to speak over the roaring of the crowd once again, I went on. "I had the opportunity to sing three songs with Josh at one of his concerts earlier this year," I told the audience. "And he agreed to join me tonight to sing them again. I'm very honored to have you here, Josh."
"I'm happy to be here," he replied, and the smile on his face told me that it was true. "Are you ready?" he asked me again and I nodded.
A loud, quick beat rang throughout the grandstands as we moved into singing the version of 'Does Your Mother Know' that we had come up with. The fairgrounds were awash in electricity as the energy of the song poured out of us. There was a lot of fun and humor in this song, and we played it up as best we could. The crowd erupted into laughter and applause as we finished. The song helped break up the intensity that the next song would bring.
"You let me introduce the next song last time," I told Josh as we looked into each other's eyes once more. He nodded, and I continued. "Would you like to do the honors this time?"
"A while ago I had the opportunity to sing a duet with someone I thought I could call a friend," Josh told the crowd. "But that turned out not to be the case. But now I have found someone who makes this whole song worthwhile." He stared into my eyes, and I became worried about what he would say next.
"Sarah," Josh continued. "'I Need You'."
Another cheer erupted from the crowd, but once again my attention was focused on Josh's face. Those three words had meant a lot when I had spoken them to him. They held the same meaning now as he repeated them to me. But as the song started to reverberate around us I watched as his face once more turned to pain. I couldn't take it anymore so I turned away.
When the first, distinctive note broke the silence the arena had settled into as they waited for the song to start, I knew things had changed. The first time I had sung this song on stage with Josh I had tears in my eyes nearly the whole time. I'd felt like my heart was breaking as we sung a love song together. I felt like my life was crumbling down around me.
But today was different. I still felt the hurt and pain that I'd experienced at the Staples Center, but it wasn't overwhelming. It was only a memory. That hurt probably would never leave me, but I no longer felt the same way about Josh. Instead, I was able to channel those feelings and emotions into the song, and I poured my soul into the song.
I began to worry as we sang, though. During the instrumental section of the song just after the second verse, Josh and I locked our eyes together. What I found as we gazed at each other shook me to my core. The hurt, the heartache, the overwhelming desire I'd had to run off the stage came rushing back to me immediately. But they weren't my emotions.
As I stared into Josh's eyes I could see all of the things that I had felt that fateful night at his concert burning within him. Our roles had been reversed. Now I was the one who wasn't returning those feelings to him. The passion and desire lit his face so distinctively that I knew for certain he had gotten over whatever kept him from getting close to me over the summer. Yet I also knew that I could no longer return those feelings for him. Josh had hurt me deeply, and I had learned to move on.
The melancholy tone that had overcome the song before returned as we performed it again. It was a surreal experience to be on the opposite side of what was happening on stage for a second time. I started to feel an ache inside my chest because of the way I was making Josh feel. I had been where he was. I had felt what he was feeling. I wouldn't wish that on anybody, but there wasn't anything I could do to alleviate that pain. I couldn't open myself to him anymore. I didn't feel the love that I'd had for him.
As the song came to a close once more I felt a tear run down my cheek. I hadn't meant to hurt Josh. I wished there was something I could do.
"Josh Holliday, everyone," I said softly into my microphone. I turned to Josh, who was bowing to the crowd. Once he was finished he looked over at me, and I knew that he had been crying too. I almost lost my composure immediately, and I took a step toward him.
But being near me seemed to be the last thing Josh wanted. "Thank you," he told the crowd quietly before turning and walking off the stage. I watched silently for a few moments, trying to compose myself. I still had to continue the concert, and bursting into tears would not help me accomplish that goal.
Eventually, I was able to steel myself against the emotions that were swirling around within me and turned back to the crowd.
The show had to go on.
I sighed once more before stepping off my bus. I didn't want to do this. I understood now why Josh had never come to my dressing room after our concert at the Staples Center. But I also knew that I wasn't going to do that to Josh. I had been in agony that night, and I didn't want Josh to go through that.
It took me a few minutes to make the short walk from my bus to Josh's, where it was hidden out of sight from anyone who would have been able to look backstage. It had been parked there to try and keep his presence at my concert a secret, but now it felt like he had been shoved to the side to keep him as far away from me as possible.
The door to the bus was opened, and after signaling Amy to wait outside, I stepped in.
"Josh?" I called out, not wanting to intrude if he didn't want to talk to me.
Silence greeted me, and I began to worry that the bus was empty, even though the lights were still on. Perhaps he had already left and gone home. Just when I was ready to turn around and take the step that would return me to the ground, he appeared at the door that led into the living area of the bus.
I felt myself take a deep breath. He didn't look very good. In the short time that I had known Josh Holliday, I had never seen him appear anything other than spectacular. But now, on his own tour bus, I caught a glimpse of the fragile little boy that still existed inside of him.
"Sarah," he said. I was worried that he would be mad to see me, but he wasn't. However, it wasn't the type of greeting I was used to from him. He was hurting, and I knew it was because of me.
"I'm sorry," fell out of my mouth before I realized I was speaking again. Tears followed almost immediately.
"Hey," Josh said kindly, and before I knew it his arms were wrapped around me. "It's okay," he continued. "It will be okay."
"No!" I said, pulling back. "No! You aren't supposed to be comforting me, Josh! I came here to comfort you!"
I could hear him chuckling as he let go and allowed me to move away from him.
"You are amazing," he told me with a large smile on his face. I didn't understand what was going on! I knew that he was distraught, but he almost looked happy. I was having a hard time determining if it was real or fake. I was leaning toward ‘fake’, but he tilted his head ever so slightly and the scale shifted to ‘real’.
"But..." I started before trailing off. I didn't know what to say.
"It's okay," he reiterated. "I'm okay," he added. "I had my chance, Sarah, and I blew it. I never should have let you go, and now I need to live with those consequences."
I started once more. "Josh--"
"Sarah," he interrupted gently. "Please, don't feel badly about this. I should have seen it coming. I should have known that you had moved on. I should have been prepared for tonight. I wasn't, but that isn't your fault. None of this is your fault. Okay?"
I sighed. This was not working out the way I intended. I had come to apologize to Josh, yet it almost sounded like he was apologizing to me!
I opened my mouth to speak once more, even though I wasn't sure what I was going to say. I never got to find out though, because Josh placed a finger over my lips.
"I hope we can still be friends," he said. I nodded, and his smile grew. "But I think you should go for now," he continued. "It would be best for both of us."
I nodded, and with a short look back turned and stepped off his bus.
"Hi Megan!" I greeted my #1 fan 20 minutes later as I sat down next to her in the Observatory. I had been late to the Star Party because I'd had to go back to my bus and get Stephanie to fix my makeup again. But I knew I had other people that I needed to meet with after the concert, and I really wanted to spend some time with this beautiful little girl.
"Sarah!" she nearly screamed in excitement once again. She was still clutching her Carerra bear tightly to her chest.
"Thank you for coming," I told her, and then looked up at her mother who was sitting on the opposite side of her. I nodded to let her know I was thanking her too.
"Thank you for the bear!" she replied excitedly, eliciting a chuckle from me.
"You're very welcome," I told her. "The one I have at home has really been a help to me, and I hope this one will be your friend for a long time to come."
She smiled back at me, and I hugged her tightly. I had highlighted Josh's visit while we were on stage, but this girl, and all the others like her, deserved the recognition more.
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I felt a tear roll down my cheek. The solemn tone of his words told me everything I needed to know. Sarah Carerra's career had come to an end.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.13 - Carerra Business by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: May 7, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.13 - Carerra Business
Wednesday was a blur.
I remember waking up. I remember Dad driving us to school. I remember some of my classes but I didn’t remember anything that was taught. But for the most part all I could really remember was how tired I was.
When Dad had come into my room to remind that I had promised to go to school today, the alarm clock beside my bed told me that I had only climbed into bed two hours earlier.
I vowed then and there that I wouldn't perform again on a school night unless I could guarantee that I'd get a good night's sleep. I knew Dad wouldn't let me skip school just because I'd performed the night before.
It was with great relief that I crashed into bed right after dinner.
When I woke up Thursday morning I was much more rested. School went by fairly slowly, as I tried to wade through the boredom that would only be alleviated by Saturday's concert. Since I was performing in Los Angeles again, I'd get to take Emily and Ethan, or more specifically, Chloe and Xander, with me. Ethan had been working with Emily to create a new look for Xander, and I was eagerly anticipating what they had decided upon.
I was unsuccessfully trying to get Ethan to tell me about the new Xander as we walked to Chorus. Suddenly I was shouldered hard while we walked down the hall, and I almost careened into a set of lockers. I shook my head, looking up fast enough to see the sneer on Jared Lumbart's face before he turned and disappeared into the crowd.
I struggled then, trying to figure out if this was a good thing or not. On the one hand he had assaulted me once again, but on the other hand it had been very mild compared to what he had done before. It was possible that he was finally realizing that confronting me was a bad idea, even if he couldn't fully leave me alone.
I grabbed Ethan's arm immediately, stopping him from charging after Jared. I knew Jared was still upset with me, but I was beginning to hope that things would improve somewhat.
Chorus was strained because of the incident. Ethan wanted to kill him, and Jane and I did our best to help him calm down. It didn't fully work, and when I dropped him off at his house after school I was worried about what he was going to do.
My worry increased tenfold when I parked my car in the garage and walked into my house and saw Mom and Dad sitting at the dining room table waiting for me. They had serious expressions on their faces, and I knew that something bad was about to happen. Perhaps it had already happened!
"What's going on?" I asked while placing my bag down on the table.
"Have a seat," Dad said. He had a slight smile on his face, but I could also see the sadness in his eyes. I complied, and sat down across from them.
"Your father and I have been discussing some things," Mom said, which caused me to worry even more.
"What?" I asked anxiously. I had a feeling this had something to do with Sarah, and I was worried that they were going to tell me that I couldn't perform anymore.
"Megan," Dad started. "We are very proud of what you've accomplished. But..."
I felt a tear roll down my cheek. The solemn tone of his words told me everything I needed to know. Sarah Carerra's career had come to an end. They must have realized that sending me off alone was a bad idea, or maybe the school had called and complained about how tired I was the day before. I didn't know what the catalyst was, but they were taking away the one thing that I couldn't bear to lose!
"No!" I screamed. "You can't take it away! Performing means too much to me!"
My parents recoiled in shock! Their eyes widened as I hoped they finally could see how much this decision would hurt me! I prayed for the guidance I needed to let them know that this was a mistake!
"Megan!" Dad yelled, trying to be heard over my own hysterics. It took a few more times before I heard him, but I didn't calm down until Mom took my hand in hers.
"Megan," my mom said softly while rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb. "We aren't taking Sarah away from you."
My heart skipped a beat before relief flooded through and out of me in the form of tears. It had only taken seconds to turn me into a sobbing mess, but I didn't care anymore. Sarah was safe.
"We couldn't take Sarah from you if we wanted to," Mom continued. "She's a part of you, Megan. Sarah is a part of your very essence. Nobody can take her away from you."
"Then what's wrong?" I asked them, still sniffling.
Dad looked at Mom for a moment before he took a deep breath and sighed. Whatever it was, he was going to be the bearer of bad news.
"Megan," he said. "You are amazing! When you first told us that Scott wanted you to record that demo, we never dreamed that you would excel like you have. It is truly remarkable what you have been able to accomplish in such a short time despite all of the fumbling that I have done over your career. "
He sighed again, and I knew it was time. My tears had dried up somewhat, but I was afraid whatever he would say next would start them again.
"Sarah Carerra," my dad said in a business tone that surprised me. "It is with deep regret that I inform you that my company can no longer act as your managing party. Effective immediately, we are no longer able to offer you our services."
My jaw dropped, and I stared at the two of them in disbelief while trying to comprehend what they were telling me now!
"But...why?" I asked. Dad had been there from the first day helping me to get my career started. He had been my rock. I wouldn't have been able to do this without him! I needed him!
Dad sighed again and took a moment to form his response.
"Working with family blinds us sometimes," he told me. "I have made some serious mistakes when it came to both you and your career. I never should have stopped you from telling Emily and Ethan. I should have let you have more say in everything."
He paused again before continuing. "Megan, time after time, you have proved that you know what is best for Sarah and for yourself. Your music tells anyone who listens to it that you are your own person and that you are going to make your own decisions. I realize now that I was trying to take those decisions away from you. I was trying to do what was right when in reality I was doing just the opposite."
"But I couldn't have done this without you!" I told him. "I can't do this without you! Please, Dad! I want you to be my manager! I believe in you!"
"I believe in you too," he said while smiling widely. He was looking at me with pride, and I was caught off-guard by the tear that streaked down his cheek. I took his hand in mine and held it to let him know how much I cared about him.
"I believe in you too," he repeated. "That’s why I cannot be involved in the day-to-day decisions anymore. Those decisions are yours to make. I'll be here to help you if you need some advice, but the decisions are now yours. I can't stop you from doing what you think is best any longer. I believe in you, Megan, which is why I think you are ready for this. You have matured far beyond your years."
"But what am I supposed to do now?" I asked him. I had no idea how to be my own manager.
"Now you go get dressed," he told me. "You may no longer be one of my clients, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to leave you high and dry. Get dressed as Sarah and we'll go down to my office where we can sign the required papers and I'll introduce you to some people who would love to join your team. They will be able to help you more than I can."
I nodded and stood up. I was still lost and confused, but I trusted my dad. If he thought this was best, then I would listen to what he had to offer.
"I love you, Daddy," I said.
"I love you too, Princess," he replied. The last thing I saw before stepping into the hall was his smile.
I knew something was up when Dad suggested that I drive my car down to his office. It was a rare day when he actually wanted me to drive instead of him. When we pulled into the parking lot he directed me toward where his reserved space was, but instead of pulling into his spot he pointed to the one next to it. I pulled my car into the parking space. I was worried that I was taking someone else’s spot until I saw Sarah’s name on the sign! That really confused me! If Dad wasn't going to be my manager anymore, then why had he given me my own parking space?
I looked at him quizzically, but he only smiled conspiratorially as Mom and he exited the car. I did the same and locked it before I followed them toward the building.
When I stepped into the lobby I gasped! The lobby had been completely remodeled since the last time I had been there! It was still fairly recognizable as the same lobby, but instead of just the two hallways leading off into the back on either side of Lucy, the receptionist’s, desk there was a third doorway on the wall to the left. But what really stunned me was the large profile picture of me that covered the entire wall to the left of the door and my logo blown up large on the right of the door.
"What..." I asked, but I was unsure how to phrase the question.
"If we're going to incorporate ‘Sarah Carerra' she is going to need her own office space," Dad explained. My eyes opened wide at that.
"Dad!" I exclaimed in shock. Dad had built this building specifically for his company just a few years earlier. I knew how happy he was to finally have a place dedicated solely to his company. But now he had just remodeled to make room for another company - mine! A moment later I looked around in worry as I realized that I had just called him “Dad” while wearing the wig. But thankfully the only other person in the lobby was Lucy, and she already knew my secret.
Dad was chuckling at my reaction. He knew how rare it was for me to make a mistake like that, so he knew just how astonished I was.
"Come on," he said while walking toward the door. "Let me show you around."
I nodded, and numbly started following him. He opened the door for me and when I stepped through, what little breath remained rushed from my body. I knew immediately that he had involved both Julia and whatever designer had been involved in decorating both the bus and Sarah's room at our house. The whole area just screamed 'me'. On the other side of the door was an open office space. On the walls were many pictures of me performing as well as framed photos of me. But crowding around the desks that were on the opposite sides of the walkway between the door and a hallway that led further into the office space were a number of people who brought smiles to my face immediately!
I was still mesmerized by what was happening when Amy came over and hugged me. I looked around the room and realized that these were the people whom Dad had been talking about! These were the people whom he wanted to help me run my business! I was immediately struck with what this meant. Many of the people in this room had worked for him for a long time. Amy was relatively new, but I knew that she was someone my dad didn't want to give up. Marty Sorenson had been one of my dad's best accountants. Becky Stratford was one of Dad's most successful marketing leaders. I recognized all of them and I was finally starting to realize just how much this decision meant to my dad. Not only had he lost office space for his own company, but he had also lost many of the people who had made his company such a success.
"Don, no!" I stated immediately. "I can't take these wonderful people from you! They're the best your company has!"
Dad chuckled. That wasn't something I expected him to do when he was faced with losing so much of his talented staff. I knew he owned a large management company and probably would be able to absorb the losses, but I couldn't understand why he was willing to let them go.
"Sarah," he said. "I've never had a client whom I wanted to succeed as much as I want you to succeed. When I asked for volunteers to join your company, every single one of these individuals jumped at the chance to work with you. They believe in you, Sarah, just like I do. I may not be managing you anymore, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to give you the best chance to make a name for yourself. These wonderful people are the best gift that I could give, and I give it willingly."
I felt the first tear slide down my cheek as I hugged him tightly. Then I did the same thing for every single person in that room. Most of them worked behind the scenes and I didn't realize just how much they did for me. Only Amy, Mason, and Cole were people whom I worked with often. But that didn't make me any less grateful. I learned later that the only individuals I actually employed were Amy, Mason, and Cole. The others were subcontractors of my father's company. But that didn't make them any less devoted to their work.
When I had awakened this morning I didn't expect anything like this to happen today, but I was already looking forward to the future. I was scared to death, but I was looking forward to working with all of these wonderful people. Sarah had become my life, and now Dad had given me the means to control my future and allow me to perform for many years to come.
Tears were still streaming out of my eyes as I hugged and thanked the last one for joining me. They all seemed to be as excited as I was, and I couldn't wait to get started!
"There's more," Dad said a moment later. "This is only the first room!"
I laughed while wiping tears from my eyes. But I did peer down the short hallway. Dad continued the tour where he showed me more offices for the team, a conference room that we could use, and even a studio that the band and I could use! We finally had a dedicated place to work on our music!
When he opened the last door, however, I lost my breath again. It was the only corner office, and it was large, spacious, and all mine! It had a large desk, a comfortable lounge area for informal meetings, and wall-to-wall windows that looked out on the parking lot. But on the other side of the parking lot I could see the ocean! I was in heaven! I wasn't entirely sure what I would use an office for, but it was nice to have one!
I spent the next hour going over all of the paperwork and signing documents with my dad and with a man named Josh Carlson whom I'd never met before but had apparently been in charge of all of my legal concerns. It would take a few more days before the papers were filed and the company was legally incorporated, but I felt immensely important the rest of the day.
In the grand scheme of things it was business as usual for most of the people who were affected by this change. The only real difference was in where their offices were located within the building. I had no additional responsibilities other than continuing to promote my career as much as I could. What it did give me, and the whole reason Dad had done this, was to provide me with ultimate control over the creative aspect of Sarah Carerra. Nobody else could tell me how to be Sarah Carerra. Sarah Carerra would make her own decisions now.
I was still overwhelmed when I finally crawled into bed later that evening. I now wielded a lot of power and money when it came to my career. I had more authority in how things would happen and where I would make appearances. But I also had the ability to make decisions that could kill my career. Dad had faith that I wouldn't do that, but I was still only 16. I had relied on him to run the business side of Sarah Carerra, and now he had placed it into my hands. He had left me with very capable advisors, and he would always be there for guidance, but it was a lot to keep me worried.
But as I drifted off to sleep I had a smile on my face at the prospect of what the future would hold.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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Somewhere out on the first row Chloe was staring up at that screen, and I hoped that she wasn't crying...yet.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.14 - L.A. County Fair by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: May 14, 2012 |
Author Note: Many of the songs that Sarah sings are "inspired" by real life songs. I'm not a songwriter, but I can tell a story. A special thanks should be given to the artists that helped shape the music that is Sarah Carerra. Embedded in this chapter are the songs that inspired this part of the concert for you to enjoy if you wish to. They are here to give you an idea of what Sarah's songs sound like.
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.14 - L.A. County Fair
I had mixed feelings when I awakened on Saturday morning. On one hand, it was a concert day and I always enjoyed performing for a crowd. But on the other hand the concert marked the penultimate stop on my debut tour. It felt like the tour had just started, and I didn't want it to end.
I knew that Dad and Scott wanted me to perform another concert tour at the beginning of next year, but I wasn't sure how likely that was to happen now that I was in charge of everything. I wanted to perform another concert tour, but trying to balance it with school was difficult, especially if it involved performing on school nights. Tuesday's concert had taught me how awful that idea was.
I tried to push all of those feelings out of my mind while I got ready for the day. I spent much of the morning doing phone interviews with radio stations in the greater Los Angeles area. When I finished those I had some time to eat breakfast before it was time to head down to the Fairplex.
When the door rang before we left, I smiled. I had no extended family or friends coming to this concert, because they had all come to the OC Fair to see me perform. Emily and Ethan were going to come as Chloe and Xander. And today was the first time that I would see the new look that Ethan had decided on for Xander.
I opened the door as Sarah, for the first time in my life. My tour bus was parked on the road in front of our house waiting for us to board, so the whole neighborhood knew that Sarah was here. If it was someone other than Emily and Ethan, it wouldn't be the end of the world.
I was stunned when I opened the door, because my cousin was on my doorstep!
"Tracy!" I screamed happily. "What are you doing here?"
She smiled in response. "Don invited me to ride with you guys," she said.
"You're coming to the concert?" I asked.
"Of course," she replied as if I had just said something stupid. "I wouldn't miss one of your concerts if I had the chance to attend. You're my favorite singer."
I laughed lightly, and stood back to let her in. Tracy stepped inside and then held out the squirming bundle of joy who was reaching out for me. I gladly took the little infant from her.
"Hi Heather!" I said excitedly and her face lit up immediately. I started to push the door closed when I saw Emily and Ethan, dressed as themselves, hurrying up the walk. I held the door in one hand and Heather in the other while waiting for them to come in.
"Sorry!" Emily said, almost out of breath as she flew past me and down the hall. Ethan did the same thing.
"What's up with them?" Tracy asked as she walked over to the couch in the front room and took a seat. I followed her and took my own seat.
"They're running late and they still need to change," I replied.
"Change?" she asked, confused.
"You didn't think I had two other best friends, did you?" I said, and her eyes opened wide as she realized who Chloe and Xander really were. I thought it was pretty obvious to those who knew Sarah's real identity, but apparently not.
I sat there and played with Heather while I waited for my friends to get dressed. Mom, Dad, and Austin were at one of his soccer games, so they'd be coming to the venue later.
Eventually I heard the door to Sarah's room open, and I watched as Chloe came out and walked down the hall.
"Are you ready?" she asked me excitedly. I nodded and turned my attention to the hallway.
When Xander appeared, I started laughing! That wasn’t the reaction he was expecting, so he became nervous that he had made a mistake before I could say anything.
"Sorry," I told him. "It just isn't what I expected. But you look great!"
He nodded gratefully in understanding. Xander did look great. In fact, he was dressed just like Ethan did every day with the exception of the blonde wig that covered up his normal brown locks. The clothes were more expensive, however. I had given them some extra cash to build his new wardrobe, and he had used it well.
But best of all, he looked happy. Ethan had hated the preppy look we had forced him into the first time around, and it was now apparent that I should have let him have a larger say in how he looked.
"Let's go to a concert," I said, and they smiled before following me out to the bus.
It was about a 45 minute drive to the Fairplex, but it flew by as I played with Heather nearly the whole time. I let Tracy and Heather sit in on the Starshine meeting, but it was having Chloe by my side as I talked to each of the girls that made the meeting really special.
It was nice to have friends and family with me at a concert again. Mom and Dad had usually been there, but having Emily and Ethan with me made this day so much better. Tracy and Heather were just icing on the cake.
The strum of Jason's guitar signaled the beginning of the next song. The happy notes filled the venue and led us in to the last cover song of the concert. As I sang through 'Torn', I couldn't help but think about how torn I was about the end of the concert tour. After tonight there would only be two more performances, one in Washington and the other at my school. After that, I might not even be performing until the Christmas special that the Chorus would be performing with me.
But when the song came to an end, the fans didn't care that the tour was almost over. Any lingering doubts or feelings that I'd had about the tour ending were washed away in the roar of applause that erupted around the venue. I basked in it for a brief moment before the lights went out and I was rushing for another costume change.
As the simple, glamorous dress was pulled over my head and the shoes were replaced on my feet I smiled at what was coming next. I could hear the video playing on the screen behind the stage as I talked about Chloe and how we had come up with the next songs, and I was so excited to take it a step further.
The dress that they shoved me into next looked like a fairytale. Unlike the dress that Julia had picked out for the music video of ‘Ever After’, this dress had a more voluminous skirt. It was a mix between a soft yellow/tan and gold which really caught the lights pointing at the stage well to make it look even more spectacular.
After I was finished changing I rushed as quickly as I could to find Tim waiting for me holding Sparkle. I smiled again at the sight of my guitar and took it lovingly from its caretaker before pulling the strap over my head. Then I continued my way onto the stage and over to where my microphone had been put back into its stand. Then I had to wait for the video to end. Somewhere out on the first row Chloe was staring up at that screen, and I hoped that she wasn't crying...yet.
The video came to an end, and I felt the anticipation build as the entire venue was bathed in darkness for a few moments. Then, a soft glow encircled me as I stood in front of my microphone, strumming my guitar softly to begin 'Enchanted Forest'.
The atmosphere was surreal as I softly played and sang through the first part of the song that Emily and I had written together earlier this year. Both of us agreed that 'Ever After' was the better song, but in reality it didn't win the contest by much. The two songs were very different, and the soft melody and soothing words that began this song really set a light, happy mood to the concert. It was also one of the longest songs I had ever written.
'Enchanted Forest' was an urban fairytale. As I sang I introduced the audience to a fairytale forest filled with large steel buildings rising above the walkways and streets that crisscrossed through it. It sang about the glimpse that the heroine had of a knight in shining armor as she walked down one of those streets. A second glimpse another day as their two carriages stopped next to each other at a traffic light. Then a third glimpse as they stood in line at a shop. But the knight never saw her. She saw him nearly everywhere, unable to approach him and unable to even learn his name.
After a full minute of the peaceful, serene melody Jason joined me with a nice melody of his own as I sang about how the heroine was pining once again for her knight, wondering how she could meet him. Then, with an increasing beat from Stacy's drums the song started to become louder until a loud crash of his cymbals lit the stage with color as we moved into the chorus. Dancers were moving around fervently behind me as the heroine walked around the corner of a building and straight into the knight. Sparks flew and her emotions were nearly overwhelmed as he apologized, helped her pick up the bag she had dropped, before he smiled and turned to walk away.
It was a fleeting, brief moment that tugged at her heart as she desperately tried to find the words to make him stop. She tried in vain to find a way to make him turn back around. But she was speechless, and eventually she turned and walked the other way just before he turned and glanced back over his shoulder.
The song fell back into a more peaceful melody again, but the addition of Stacy's drums and Connor's bass gave it the fervor that was still roiling around in her heart as she tried to figure out what to do next. Her feelings hadn't changed, but she had been unable to catch his eye. She had been unable to even speak to him. She battled with her emotions until she realized there was nothing she could do. She still didn't even know his name.
Another day she found herself approaching the very same corner, remembering her earlier encounter. As she turned the corner once more, lost in thought, she walked right into the knight once again. Another crash of Stacy's cymbals moved us into the chorus and a burst of light around the stage showed that the sparks were still there. No words were spoken as they stared into each other’s eyes. Then, the knight apologized once more with a wry smile on his face before turning to leave once again.
As the chorus came to a close the song moved into a fast paced, frantic piece where she once more tried to bring herself to say something. She tried once more to get his attention and to keep him from leaving. She tried to push herself to do anything to get his attention. Then the song calmed into a serene melody once more as things became clear to her. A smile spread across her lips as she called out to him with her name. The knight stopped instantly, slowly turning around. A smile formed on his face moments before he replied with his own name.
The song burst into the final chorus as he took his first step back toward her.
Later, as the chorus ended and the song came to a close I looked down at the front row to where Emily was sitting, and even from the stage I could see the tear streak down her cheek. I struggled to keep one of my own from doing the same thing. Emily was my best friend in the world, and the two songs that we had written together would forever bind us throughout our lives. Any time I performed or heard one of these two songs, I would think of Emily. She was likely doing the same thing.
"Thank you," I told the crowd when the noise dropped to a level where they could hear me again. I then took Sparkle off and handed it back to Tim, and then I started moving toward the edge of the stage, continuing to talk to the crowd as I went. "That song and the next one I'm going to sing for you have a special place in my heart. I got to write them with my best friend in the whole world."
I took the first step off the stage, causing the first few rows to scramble to get into a position where they could touch me, get near me, or even speak to me. I tried to shake their hands and acknowledge them as much as I could as I made my way down the row until I was directly in front of Emily. She was cowering in her chair now because she seemed to have some idea of what I was planning.
I grabbed her arm, and tried to pull her up. She was resisting, but I successfully pulled her to her feet, and then led her down the row back toward the stairs. Many of those around us were scrambling to understand what was happening. Many of them were screaming at me to pick them instead. But I only smiled back at them as I led Emily back up onto the stage and over to a stool that had been brought out while I was in the crowd. Emily's face was now being broadcast on the big video screen behind the stage, and she was taking on the complexion of a tomato. I knew she wouldn't want to be up here on stage, but I wanted to give her the experience so that she knew what I faced all of the time. I had her sit down on the stool before I turned back to the crowd.
"Anybody know who this lovely young woman is?" I asked the crowd. There were a number of people yelling back names. Others seemed confused. But some recognized her.
"This is my best friend in the world," I told the audience. "Chloe, say hello to the L.A. County Fair. Fair, say hello to Chloe."
Emily nearly yelped in embarrassment when the whole audience replied with "Hi Chloe!”
I held the microphone up to her, and after a moment she realized what it was for.
"Hello," she told them meekly before clamming up once more. I knew we weren't going to get much more out of her, sadly.
"Earlier this year Chloe and I sat down to write a couple of songs about fairytales," I told the crowd. "You just heard one of them. But both of us are also very proud of this next one."
I paused for a moment to take Sparkle back from Tim then I looked at Emily again. She was more of a baby pink now as she was starting to get over her initial embarrassment. She likely wouldn’t be back to her normal color until sometime after the concert ended.
"Chloe," I told her, and her eyes met mine. "You're going to be my best friend for 'Ever After'."
I started playing the happy song that would be debuted as my next single within the next week with as much emotion as I could. I wanted this to be one of my best performances of the song as I shared the stage with the wonderful young woman who had helped to make it such an amazing song. I wanted it to be perfect for the young woman whom I owed my entire career to.
As I performed I could see two things happen to Emily. Initially, she tensed up every time I approached her. She was afraid I would make her sing, but I would never do that to her. The second thing I noticed, however, was that she was starting to enjoy herself. Her embarrassment seemed to be fading as I sang and she started to enjoy being on the stage with me. I knew she would thank me later for the experience.
All too soon the song came to a conclusion, and as the crowd roared its approval I turned to Emily and we wrapped each other in a long hug.
"Thank you for everything, Emily," I whispered into her ear just as the lights dimmed until it was completely dark, and the two of us were alone in the world.
"Don't ever do that to me again!" Emily screamed as she entered my dressing room later that night. She sounded irate, but the smile she was trying to hide told a different story.
I smiled back. "You loved it," I told her, laughing. She soon joined me, and even Ethan and Tracy were laughing too.
"That was amazing," she said once we were able to calm down. "I never realized how exciting it could be to stand in front of a crowd like that. Don't get me wrong - once was enough, but wow!"
I laughed again at her description.
"It certainly gets your adrenaline pumping, doesn't it?" I asked.
"Five minutes!" Amy called into the dressing room, preventing a response as I started to gather everything I would need for the Star Party.
"Oh," Tracy said as something popped into her mind while we were leaving the dressing room. "You're still doing Katy's party on Wednesday, right?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I told her with a smile. My cousin Katy's birthday was on Wednesday, and Tracy and I had a huge surprise planned for her. When Sarah Carerra showed up to sing some songs she was going to freak out!
I could hear Tracy giggling as she thought about what it would do to Katy, but I continued down the hall to the Observatory, arm in arm with Emily.
A short time later I was taking pictures with the fans who had been invited to the party. I was happy to have the opportunity to give Emily the chance to be a part of the action once more. Ethan appeared to be jealous while he sat on the couch next to Tracy and Heather. However, Emily was showing a lot more composure than she had on stage as she talked with each of my fans while they waited their turn to get their picture taken with me.
Right now she was talking to a beautiful girl who had dirty blonde hair. I watched as the girl seemed to light up at meeting Chloe, who talked to her for a bit before she was able to come over to me.
"Hi," I said and watched the elation in this girl that Chloe had started grow into a near frenzy.
"Hi!" the girl replied excitedly before jumping up and down for a moment and giving me a hug. She appeared to be about 12, and it was apparent that she had already had a hard life. I didn't know what had happened to her, but I hoped that I could take away some of that pain for a moment or two.
"What's your name?" I asked her.
"Annie," she replied, and she looked like she couldn't believe she was actually talking to me. "Annabelle," she corrected a moment later. "But all of my friends call me Annie."
"It's nice to meet you then, Annie," I said, and she lit up again as she realized that I was calling her a friend.
"I can't believe this is happening!" she said, and she had a faraway look in her eyes for a moment before she refocused on me. "This is the best night of my life!"
I chuckled slightly at her exuberance, but unlike many other fans who had said the same thing, I believed that she was actually telling me the truth. I had a feeling that something had changed her life tonight, and if I had been the cause then I hoped it was for the better.
We posed for a couple of pictures to be taken, one from my official photographer and another from a man whom I assumed was her father, though they didn't look related. But once he had the picture he turned toward the woman whom I had no doubt was Annie's mother. He had tears in his eyes. I didn't know what was going on, but it looked like it was a good thing.
"Thanks for coming tonight," I told Annie as we separated after the flashes had stopped.
She paused and looked up at me for a moment.
"Thank you," she said, and I watched as a tear fell from her eye. "You don't know what tonight means to me. This wouldn't have happened without you." She paused once again, unsure what to say. "Thank you," she eventually repeated again.
"I'm glad I could help," I told her truthfully before wrapping my arms around her once more, and giving her a longer hug this time. "If you ever need a place to get away from your family or anything, let me know, okay?" Annie nodded as I let go of her once more, but she had wide eyes that proved my guess about her problems had been accurate. Amy was there immediately with one of her business cards and I took it from her and handed it to Annie. "Call this number if you need anything, okay?"
Annie stared at the card. Even if she never called, I knew that just having that number was enough to lift a heavy burden off her shoulders.
This wasn't the first time that meeting me had seemed to touch a fan like this, but something told me that this girl was special. She needed to know that there was someone else out there willing to help her. If giving her a phone number that she could contact me with could give her hope, then it was the least I could do.
Annie stepped away from me with a dazed look and into the arms of the man who had taken her picture. She looked up at him and smiled before wrapping her arms around him and I was forced to turn toward the next fan.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
If you've read book 1 I'd love it if you shared your opinions with others. Review the Kindle version at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006IZG49M. :)
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The princess sang softly about how unfair her life was. About how unfair her father was being because he kept her from attending her prom.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.15 - The Princess of the Castle by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: May 21, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.15 - The Princess of the Castle
Sunday afternoon brought me down from the high of the concert when I listened to the Countdown. 'You Can't Hurt Me' fell in the rankings once again, this time to #3. Even though it was still in the Top 10, in my heart I again believed that it had reached the end of its time on top of the charts. It had a great run, and with the release of 'Ever After' occurring on Tuesday, I knew that I'd still have a reason to listen to the countdown.
But that was only the beginning of my funk when I awoke Monday morning. Despite the fact that I was releasing a new single on Tuesday and singing at Katy's birthday party on Wednesday, I still had to face the reality that my concert tour was coming to a close on Saturday. It had only been two months since the concert tour started, but I already couldn't imagine my weekends without a concert to perform.
There would still be plenty of performances. I would be performing at the VMA's in a couple of weeks, I still had the concert at school, and it wouldn't be long before we started to put a big effort into narrowing down what we were going to do for the Christmas concert with the Chorus.
I moped through the day waiting for it to end. I had to dodge through Chorus once again, trying to keep anyone from finding out my secret. Mr. Benson had kept his word and hadn't put me in a position where people would be able to recognize me yet, but I didn't know how long it would be because we hadn’t spoken since last week.
After school I went to my new office for a staff meeting. It was nice to have such good people backing me up off the stage, and soon we finished what we needed to do. Most of the meeting was spent making sure that we were ready for the release of 'Ever After' and for the conclusion of the concert tour. We would meet again later in the week to talk about what we would be doing at the VMA performance.
Tuesday was somewhat better. I was surprised to find that there was a small fervor among some of my fellow students about the release of my single. Apparently, I had a sizable fan following at the school, and I smiled and chuckled to myself as they tried to guess what song it would be. We had been keeping the song a secret and the debut of the music video this evening was supposed to be a big event. I had only seen a rough cut of the video, so it would be my first time to see the final product tonight when it debuted.
"What do you think it will be?" I heard one of the girls sitting near me in Chorus ask her friends.
"I think it will be a brand new song," her friend replied.
"No," one of the guys sitting near them said. "I don't think she'd be releasing a brand new song so early. She's still promoting her first album.”
"What about you, Megan?" the first girl, Allison I thought her name was, turned and asked me.
"Oh!" I said, slightly surprised at my inclusion in the conversation. But I already had an answer. "I think that whatever it is, it will be a great song."
Allison rolled her eyes at me.
"You can't ask Megan," Jane piped up a moment later. "She already knows the answer and she won't tell."
"You know the answer?" Allison shot back at me, surprised! I must have had a guilty look pass across my face because her eyes opened wide as she continued. "You DO know! What is it?"
"I can't tell," I replied calmly and slowly shook my head. There was a reason we were keeping it a secret, and I wasn't going to break that just because she wanted to know now.
She growled in frustration for a minute before she realized that she wasn't going to get the answer out of me. I smiled back, and she turned back to her friends.
The hiss of the airbrakes announced that we had arrived at our destination. With a large smile, I looked out the window of my tour bus at the busy walkway outside of LAX.
"How long until they land?" I asked Amy, who was also looking out the window. Ethan and Emily, dressed as Xander and Chloe, were also watching the people walk by. Our other two passengers were already stepping off the bus and making their way into the terminal. Both of them were in charge of meeting the people we were waiting for, and both were glowing at the thought of what was going to happen next. Mason was following them and Cole was already working to stem the crowd that was already starting to form.
"They should be landing any minute," Amy finally answered after looking something up on her smart phone.
I sat and looked out the window for a few minutes. The longer we waited, the trickier this was going to be. My tour bus couldn't go anywhere without garnering attention and this time attention was not what I was looking for. We were at the airport for a specific purpose, and I didn't want to interact with the crowd if it took my attention away from the individuals whom we were waiting for.
"Darrin just texted me," Amy said, breaking the silence. "They're at the baggage claim and have almost all of their bags."
"Okay," I replied and stood up. Amy did the same, and then she stepped down and out of the bus to tell Cole we were ready. I waited out of sight until Cole gave me the signal, and then I too stepped down and off of the bus.
The small crowd that had formed started to cheer like they always did and I waved back at them, but I wasn't going to get the chance to interact with them. Instead I hurried over to the area that Cole had cordoned off. Amy was right behind me with the props we would need. Then, it became a waiting game again.
It was another five minutes before I saw Darrin Scofield walk out of the airport. The others with him were excitedly talking with one another until they saw my bus. The two young girls broke out into screams of excitement at seeing it and started chattering immediately. It wasn't until the younger girl turned and looked at her mother that she caught a glimpse of me at their side. That was when she really started to scream.
And jump around and start to hyperventilate.
I really had to smile at their reactions. I had been told that they were big fans, and the younger girl was only confirming that fact. The other girl turned, saw me, and joined her sister. Their mother also seemed to be quite shocked, though she wasn't screaming like her daughters. The little boy, however, looked bored.
"Hi!" I greeted them excitedly, though I wasn’t sure the girls were able to hear me. They were still having what appeared to be panic attacks, and I hoped that they would be okay.
Darrin Scofield was laughing at his family's reaction, but he stepped toward me to bridge the gap. Darrin was the owner of the castle house where I had filmed the 'Ever After' video.
"Sarah," Darrin said to me before motioning to the girls' mother. "This is my princess, Marion."
I reached my hand out, and Marion shook it. She still seemed a little rattled to meet me.
"It's a pleasure to meet you," I told her. "Darrin has told me so much about you, and I'm honored to meet the Princess of the Castle."
She choked for a moment, probably at the realization that I was on a first name basis with her father. It was obvious that she had been unaware of what was waiting for her and her family once they got off the plane.
"I'm sorry," Marion was able to say. "I wasn't expecting this. My girls are really big fans."
"I know," I told her. "I'd like to meet your two princesses and your prince."
She turned to her two daughters, who were starting to settle down, though they still had a lot of energy. While she did, I took the item that Amy was holding out for me.
"My oldest is Kimberly," Marion told me. "She's ten."
"Hi Princess Kimberly," I greeted her and then held the item out so she could see it. She smiled and I stepped forward and placed the tiara on her head. Then I gave her a hug.
"I can't believe you are really here!" Kimberly screamed, but squeezed me back tight.
"Well, I had to meet all of the fair princesses who were flying into Los Angeles today," I told her, like it was a common thing that I did.
"I'm Ariel!" the other girl interrupted, obviously wanting her own time with me.
"It's nice to meet you, Princess Ariel," I said while taking another tiara from Amy and placing it on the eight-year-old's head. "I feel so special to be in the presence of two such beautiful princesses."
She giggled, but she didn't waste any time in hugging me like her sister had. I turned back to Amy and took the last item from her before turning to the young boy who was hiding behind his mother's legs.
"And you must be Prince David," I said while shaking the crown toward him to entice him to come out. He looked up at his mom for a moment, and when she nodded he rushed around her legs and over to me. I placed the crown on his head and then kissed him on the cheek. He started wiping at it immediately like it was disgusting to get kissed, but he continued to smile.
"Well," I told them while gesturing to my bus. "I brought your carriage, if you would like to join me for a ride to the castle."
Their excitement grew when they realized this wasn't a chance meeting, and that we were going to be spending at least the 30 minute drive together.
We started toward the bus. "Wave to your loyal subjects," I told the 'Royalty' and started waving to show them how. All three of the kids started to wave excitedly at all the people who had gathered, and a small cheer ran through the crowd as they started to wave back.
Soon we climbed aboard my bus and it wasn't much longer afterward that we were rolling down the highway toward our destination. On the way I got to know Marion and her kids fairly well. Marion's husband was still back east working, but her children seemed very excited for the vacation that I had helped pay for. I had asked Darrin to invite them to come out for tonight, and I was glad that they had accepted, even if they hadn't known why.
When the bus turned onto the road where Darrin's castle was, I saw a light start shining in his daughter's eyes. Darrin had confessed to me that it had been a while since she had come out to visit her childhood home, but I now knew that she had missed it. I completely understood - I would have loved to grow up in a castle like she had.
When the bus came to a stop outside of the castle, I had a smile as big as each of the kids. I was directed off the bus first where I was intercepted by Elisa Sanchez, who was a correspondent for the music video channel where the 'Ever After' video was going to premiere. I had to talk with her for a while, and then I introduced her to my royal entourage. I knew that part of this was going to be edited into the presentation that would run on TV later this evening, but the children still loved being introduced. Eventually we made our way inside the home and to the great room that had been transformed into a mini theater; it had a number of couches facing a very large television. Waiting for us were the band, the two actors who had been playing my parents in the video, and even Andrew, with whom I had shared my first on-screen kiss when he came to rescue me.
After everyone had found a seat, with Elisa and me in the middle, I was interviewed for about 10 minutes about the making of the video. Eventually I noticed that some of the guests, especially the children, were becoming bored, but fortunately it was time for the debut.
With great anticipation the lights in the room dimmed, and we all turned our attention to the TV. Then, when I felt I couldn't wait any longer, the soft notes from my guitar wafted throughout the room as the scene on the TV faded in to an aerial shot of the castle, focusing ever closer to the sad looking young princess who was standing on top of the large tower. She looked radiant in the white dress with a scoop neck, empire waist, and a full, flowing skirt. I had fallen in love with that dress when Julia had shown it to me for the first time, and seeing myself wearing it on screen almost took my breath away.
The princess sang softly about how unfair her life was. About how unfair her father was being because he kept her from attending her prom. Intermixed were scenes of her in a very ornate room arguing with a king who was sitting on a throne. Eventually, as Jason's guitar added a second mix and more tempo into the first chorus, the video returned to her as she stared off into the distance, hoping to see her prince coming to rescue her.
The song dropped back into the simple melody that started the song, as the young princess turned her eyes away from the road that approached the castle. The scene faded into her bedroom where she was holding an invitation to the prom. A tear rolled down her cheek as she continued to sing about how she was going to be saved by her knight in shining armor.
Just before the second verse she looked out the window of her room high in the tower, searching for the knight once more. He was nowhere to be seen, but her smile told everyone that she knew he was coming.
The song fell back into the simple melody a third time as she turned away from the window. But a sound caught her attention. The roar of an engine could be heard as she ran back to the window, seeing dust coming up the driveway. Her face lit up at the sight and she took off toward the door to her room, exiting onto an archway connecting the tower to the main castle.
There she watched, continuing to sing, as a white Ford Mustang came roaring up the drive and stopping at the staircase leading up to the front door of the castle.
She watched, nearly breathless, as the door opened, and her knight stepped out in full armor. Immediately the door to the castle flew open and a foul beast came barreling out toward the advancing prince. He drew his sword, and with a deft move deflected the foul beast to the side with his shield. Before the black beast could correct its course the knight continued up the stairs toward the king and queen, who had appeared in the doorway.
He lunged for the king with his sword, the tip just missing the king as it headed straight for the heart of the queen. Then a flash of light spread across the screen, and as it dissipated the entire scene had changed. The queen was unharmed as she took the single white rose that the knight, now smiling and wearing a stylish tuxedo, was handing to her, and she lifted the rose to her nose. No longer wearing the regal gown of the queen, she turned to her husband. Gone was the evil king, replaced instead by a caring man wearing a nice polo shirt and slacks. He smiled and nodded as a black Labrador barreled back up the steps wanting attention from the visitor to the house.
The song ramped up once more as the prince turned his eye to the arch, smiling at the young princess, still attired in her beautiful dress. Immediately she turned and started running for the stairs, and the camera cut back and forth between the two of them as she ran down the stairs and into his arms. They embraced for a moment before the prince pulled back, looking deep into the young woman’s eyes. Then my heart started pounding in my chest as I watched the princess lose her breath when the prince leaned forward and kissed her tenderly on the lips.
The camera cut once more to the princess’s face, my face, as the two separated and the pure happiness found there was the last thing the audience saw as the song came to a close and the screen faded to black.
After the filming of the music video debut, I spent several hours with the family playing songs for them and even just playing games before we watched the actual debut together. The kids loved seeing themselves on the TV as I met them at the airport and introduced them to the country here in the comfort of their grandfather's home. Marion and her family were wonderful, and even Theresa, who hadn't been very happy with us filming in her home, had been grateful to me for flying her daughter out to visit.
I waved back at the children as the bus started to pull away. Even though I was leaving, they still had large smiles on their faces, and I knew I was going to have to do something else for them in the future.
As the castle slipped from view I smiled at how the evening had turned out. Earlier today I thought that the highlight of this evening was going to be the video debut, but in reality spending time with Kimberly, Ariel, and Davie had been the best part. They were so full of energy and excitement that they managed to spread it to everyone else around them.
I chuckled once more as I walked to my bedroom at the back of the bus and straight to the big board full of pictures. As I pinned a picture of the kids and me, all wearing crowns, to the board, I felt a tear streak down my face, surprising me.
I knew that I really enjoyed performing for people, but I normally didn't get to spend any time with them. My new royal court would forever be in my mind.
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Katy's eyes opened wide immediately, and no sound came out of her mouth. That silence was all I needed to start strumming my guitar while singing 'Happy Birthday' to her.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.16 - Best. Birthday. Ever. by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: June 4, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.16 - Best. Birthday. Ever.
'Where are you?!!' the text message said. A large smile spread across my face. Even though I knew I was going to miss most of Katy's birthday party, it would be worthwhile.
'Stuck in traffic. On my way.' I texted back, as I followed Mason out the front door of my house and down the walk to the waiting limo. Mason opened the door for me and I slipped inside with my guitar case. He closed the door and got into the front seat next to the driver.
'Hurry!' came the quick response as we were driving. It wasn't very far to Aunt Judy's house. I knew Katy would be shocked and excited to see Sarah, while I hoped that she wouldn’t be upset that Megan wasn't there. But there wasn't much I could do about that. Megan would make an appearance later, but she was going to miss all of the "fun".
Dad was not happy with what I was going to do this evening, but he no longer had any say in Sarah's affairs. I knew why he was worried. I knew many of the girls who would be at Katy's party. I WAS invited to the party as Megan, after all. It had been Tracy's idea to surprise Katy, but I hadn't needed any convincing.
The party had already been going for a half hour by the time the limo pulled up to the curb in front of my cousin's house. I did my best to keep from drawing attention to myself as I exited the limo and started up the walk to the front door. I wasn't entirely successful, though. There were quite a few people outside staring at me as I walked, but Mason's intimidating presence and his stern-looking face kept them from approaching me. I was glad for that because I wanted to keep my presence quiet until the door was opened. Aunt Judy was in on the surprise, and she had told me that she would make sure that Katy answered the door.
Once we reached the front door I placed my guitar case on the ground, pulled out Sparkle, then closed the case and handed it to Mason. Then I knocked.
It seemed like an eternity before I heard noise on the other side. I prepared immediately, but even then it was a few more seconds before the door opened.
Katy's eyes opened wide immediately, and no sound came out of her mouth. That silence was all I needed to start strumming my guitar while singing 'Happy Birthday' to her. The other girls heard me start singing and came to the door to investigate. They had similar reactions to Katy as they stood staring and listening behind her. But I focused most of my attention on Katy. She'd had the chance to spend some time with Sarah earlier this summer, so she hadn't immediately turned into a screaming teen, but as I finished singing the other girls filled in the silence for her.
"Happy birthday, Katy," I told her while shifting Sparkle into a position that would let me give her a hug. After we embraced she finally seemed to find her voice again.
"What are you doing here?" she asked excitedly. It was quite obvious that this was the last thing that she expected to have happen on her birthday.
I smiled. "Tracy convinced me that you would like it if I showed up for a little while this afternoon. Is that okay?"
"Of course!" she screamed back! "Come on in!"
I nodded and stepped into her house. The other girls were still going crazy, and I gave them a wave as we spread out in the front room a bit. As usual I didn't have much room around me as the girls crowded in, but they left me more room than I normally got when I walked into a Star Party, for instance.
"Hi everyone," I told the girls. "I'm Sarah."
There were some chuckles from the girls at my words. It was obvious that they all knew who I was. Katy took the hint, however, and started introducing each of her friends. I smiled and shook each of their hands. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Aunt Judy watching the antics and smiling the entire time. She knew who Sarah really was, and she seemed to be enjoying the girls' reactions as much as I was.
"Unfortunately I can't stay for very long," I told them, causing a few of the girls to frown. "But I thought I could sing you a few songs before I go. Is that okay?"
The assent from around the room seemed to indicate that was a good plan. People started scrambling for seats on the couches as I took a seat in the soft chair near the door.
I spent the next 45 minutes serenading the girls with my songs. Each of the girls got to choose a song and I was more than happy to oblige them. I knew from the look on Katy's face that she had just become one of the coolest friends that these girls knew. She was the only person who could say she'd had Sarah Carerra perform at her birthday party.
But eventually I had to wind the fun down. I still wanted to come back to the party as Megan, and if I spent too much time performing I wouldn't get the chance. Fortunately, Katy in her excitement had forgotten that Megan wasn't here, and I hoped it stayed that way.
"Let's get a picture," I stated as I placed Sparkle back into its case. When I looked up all of the girls were starting to line up. I watched as Mason pulled out a camera and Aunt Judy rushed to grab her own. Then I joined the girls as they took a few pictures. Then I gave each of the girls a hug. The mood in the room had changed as the realization that I was leaving started to set in, but it was still high.
"Thank you, Sarah," Katy called as we headed for the front door. "You made this the best birthday party ever."
"It was my pleasure, Katy," I replied. "And it was nice meeting all of you," I added to the other girls. Mason opened the door for me and I stepped out onto the front porch.
"Don't go!" I heard one of the girls say which broke most of us into laughter. I knew that they didn't want me to leave, but it was time that I did. However, there was one more thing that I had to do.
"I have a birthday present for you, Katy," I said, which caused her to perk up immediately. "It's in the car, though. Follow me and I'll give it to you."
"Okay," she said, smiling but also very curious. Nevertheless she followed me down the walk toward the limo. The other girls were watching from the door as I stepped into the limo and set Sparkle down in an out of the way location as Katy climbed into the limo behind me.
"Shut the door," I told her. I wanted privacy for this. Katy pulled the door shut and then slid across the seat until we were facing each other. I had slipped into the middle of the limo and sat on the bench that faced the back of the car.
Katy was looking around nervously as she tried to understand why I wanted the car door closed. But instead of saying anything, I reached up and started pulling pins out of the wig. I had waited a long time for this moment, and I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I worked to free it from my head. Katy kept looking at me in wonder. I knew she hadn’t realized what I was doing because she seemed to be confused.
"Remember what I wrote on your CD?" I asked her while continuing to pull pins out.
"Yes," she replied with a smile. "’You're the best friend I never knew I had’," she stated what I had written on the CD cover I had signed for her.
"Do you believe that?" I asked her. She tilted her head to the side for a moment as she tried to come up with an answer, but the look in her eyes told me that she didn't believe me. Katy was puzzled. I had been very friendly with her in the few times that we'd met in the past - unusually friendly for someone whom she shouldn't know.
"I don't know," she finally answered.
"Well, it was true," I told her while reaching up and pulling the wig from my head. I kept my eyes on hers. I was rewarded with an even larger look of surprise than she had given me at the door earlier. She even gasped this time. Then she was screaming in excitement, much like I would expect from the screaming teen fans.
"Megan!" she yelled. "You're Sarah Carerra?!"
"Surprise!" I said happily and watched her slump back in her seat in amazement. She didn't stay there long though, before she leaned forward again.
"Why didn't you tell me?!" I laughed this time.
"I wanted to," I told her. "I wanted to tell you so many times. But keeping this a secret is extremely important to me, and my dad didn't want me to tell you. But your birthday seemed like a good time to let you in on the truth."
She scrambled inside the car so she could wrap her arms around me in a long hug.
"I can't believe that my cousin is Sarah Carerra!" she screamed into my ear. But any pain I felt was drowned out with the happiness and excitement that she was radiating. I hugged her back and we just held each other for a while longer.
"I need to go change if Megan is going to make an appearance at your party," I told her shortly after we had finally let go.
She nodded before speaking. "Okay," she said. "I guess I know why you were late now."
I giggled along with her for a moment. Then she started scooting towards the door.
"I'll be back in 15 minutes," I told her as she reached for the handle.
"Okay," she replied, the smile still plastered across her face. "And thank you, Megan. I thought that Sarah had made this the best birthday party ever. But you just topped that. Thank you."
"You're welcome, Katy," I told her. She nodded once more before opening the door and climbing out.
She was giddily skipping toward her house as the limo started moving away.
It was closer to 20 minutes later that I pulled my car into Aunt Judy's driveway. I felt, and looked, completely different as I walked up to the front door this time; when the door opened, the girls didn't start screaming. But Katy did. She screamed and launched herself at me before wrapping me in another hug. She didn't say anything, but I knew that she was still excited about what I had told her.
"You missed all of the fun!" she was still screaming as she let me go. "Sarah Carerra was here!"
"What?" I asked back. "What was she doing here?"
"She came and sang us a few songs before leaving. I wish you could have made it," she replied.
"I'm sorry I missed it," I added, though I couldn't keep from smiling.
We moved into the house to where the birthday party was still in full swing. But the discussion quickly turned back to Sarah's visit and I was rewarded with a secondhand version of the events that had happened earlier in the evening. It was interesting to hear how the other girls at the party remembered what had happened. They definitely had a skewed memory about what I actually did. Apparently I had connected with each of the girls, and many of them felt that Sarah Carerra was now their best friend.
We were eating birthday cake when Jackie, one of Katy's friends, told me, "Tonight was not a good night to be late. Now you'll never get to meet Sarah!"
I swallowed the bite I had just taken before responding. "I don't know about that," I told her slyly. "I've met Sarah a few times."
The girl's eyes went wide for a moment, and Katy burst into laughter. She was laughing so hard that I was worried she would give something away. When she finally calmed down enough she had to wipe tears from her eyes. All of the girls were looking at her like she was nuts.
"Megan and Sarah have known each other since they were little," Katy finally explained. "Megan, don't you even work with her?"
"Yes," I replied. "I'm one of her personal assistants."
"That is so cool!" one of the other girls screamed. "Can you get me a job?"
This time it was my turn to laugh. I hadn't expected to have any conversations like this when I came back, but Katy seemed to be having fun so I let it continue.
"Probably not," I told the girl, which caused her to frown. "But maybe I can get you guys tickets to a concert sometime or something."
All of the girls started screaming about that possibility! I just smiled at them as the discussion then turned to how cool a night out at a Sarah Carerra concert would be. I caught Katy's eye for a moment and she smiled at me. Katy didn’t seem to mind that I was dominating much of the attention at her birthday party.
Eventually we settled down into a more normal party atmosphere. We played a few games and laughed a lot together. Presents were opened and thanks were expressed. When Katy thanked me for the signed poster of Sarah I gave her she was quite appreciative, and I knew it wasn't just for the poster.
By the time I returned home later that evening, I was exhausted by the amount of energy it had taken; not only to perform for the girls but also at how active and excited they were the rest of the night. Katy's party had lasted a lot longer than any Star Party ever had. Even though Sarah had left the party hours earlier, the energy had never fully died down.
Katy had become one of my best friends when my life had taken its abrupt turn earlier this year. But tonight solidified our relationship into something that we would have for the rest of our lives.
The rest of the week was fairly dull, and the depression that had lifted at Katy's party started to reappear as the days counted down to my last concert of the tour. I knew that this wasn't going to be my last performance, but not even the thought of performing at my school was enough to lift my spirits. That concert would only be an addendum to the tour, so it didn't give me the same feeling of anticipation.
The only thing that really kept me plodding forward during school was the meeting we had scheduled for Thursday afternoon to talk about the performance I would be giving at the VMAs in a little over a week. It was awesome to be involved in the discussion to determine how we would be performing 'You Can't Hurt Me'.
But it wasn't until Friday afternoon that I started to feel good again. When I stepped on the plane for the flight to Seattle there was only one thing on my mind:
I couldn't wait to finish my tour with a bang.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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The sun lit a bright, blue sky that illuminated one of the most spectacular sights I had ever seen. It was breathtaking to have such a background behind me as I performed the last concert on my tour.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.17 - Gorge Amphitheatre by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: June 11, 2012 |
Author Note: Many of the songs that Sarah sings are "inspired" by real life songs. I'm not a songwriter, but I can tell a story. A special thanks should be given to the artists that helped shape the music that is Sarah Carerra. Embedded in this chapter are the songs that inspired this part of the concert for you to enjoy if you wish to. They are here to give you an idea of what Sarah's songs sound like.
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.17 - Gorge Amphitheatre
The bright, sunny sky belied everything I had heard about Seattle as we stepped out of the airport and onto my tour bus Friday evening for the last time during this concert tour. Even the trip I had made over the summer to film my makeup commercial had seen an overcast day. This time I smiled because of the beautiful day, as I settled in for the nearly three hour drive out to the Gorge Amphitheatre.
The week had been a mix of emotions as I went from the highs of Katy's party and the 'Ever After' premiere to the lows that came with thinking about the end of the concert tour. I knew this wouldn't be the last time that I would appear on stage, but it was a conclusion to one of the most amazing things that had ever happened to me.
I had been telling myself all week that there were already other concerts in the works. The performance at my school would mirror the performances of this tour. We had met yesterday to discuss my VMA appearance in two weeks, and we had even scheduled a meeting for the week after the school concert to start discussing the Christmas performance. Sarah Carerra still had a lot to look forward to.
But my heart was still heavy at what tomorrow's concert represented. Never again would there be an 'Intuition Tour' performance. It was the end of an era as far as my career was concerned. The next time I took the stage in front of a paying crowd it would be in a completely different concert tour, and that was a hard concept to grasp.
My family tried to keep my spirits up as we drove, but even they felt somewhat sad at what this trip meant.
It was dark when the bus pulled into the venue, and it was much later before I climbed into my bed. The more sleep I got tonight the better off I would be for the concert.
Saturday morning turned out to be an even nicer day than Friday. The sun lit a bright, blue sky that instantly lifted my mood. It also illuminated one of the most spectacular sights I had ever seen at a concert venue as I looked out over the Columbia River gorge. It was breathtaking to have such a background to look at as I ate breakfast, let alone to have behind me as I performed the last concert on my tour.
"Can we join you?" interrupted my thoughts, and I looked up to find the band.
"Sure!" I replied happily and moved to give them room to sit down at the picnic table I had claimed. Smiles were returned as the girls sat down next to me and the boys claimed the other side of the table. Stacy immediately reached for one of the bags of cereal and a bowl that were on the table. The others followed suit.
"You guys don't want a good breakfast?" I asked them. I knew that somewhere there was a catering truck that was making breakfast for the crew, but this picnic table was too nice to leave to find it. Besides, the cereal, bowls, milk, and spoons that my parents had brought out from my bus showed that they had already enjoyed a casual breakfast before I woke up.
"Not really," Jason said and poured some milk over his cereal. There was plenty to go around. My bus was always well stocked with food.
"Besides," Sophie added. "I'd rather spend the time here with you."
I smiled while chewing. Once I swallowed, I replied.
"I'd like that," I told them. "I’m glad you’re here too.” I sighed. “I can't believe it's over already. It feels like we just started."
There were nods around the table as everyone chewed, but Jason seemed to finish first and spoke.
"This has certainly been an interesting summer," he told me. "I've never performed a concert tour before, but I hope this isn't the last."
"Amen to that!" Connor excitedly replied. Connor was usually the quietest member of the group, so there was a bit of chuckling at his enthusiastic response.
"Well," I told them. "It definitely won't be the last if I have any say in the matter. I can't imagine how boring life is going to be over the next few months. I'm ready to start another tour!"
The chuckling that was still continuing after Connor's response turned into laughter at my own words. I joined in with them, and I noticed by the looks on each of their faces that they felt the same way.
"You know this technically isn't the last concert in the tour," Holly stated a moment later.
"Yes," I replied. "But performing at my school won’t be the same. There will still be a lot of fans there, and there are enough students to rival some of the venues we performed at. But it just won't be the same."
The band was nodding in understanding. Performing at my school was going to be fun, but there was something special about a crowd that had sacrificed something to be at one of my concerts. Most of the people here had sacrificed their money for their tickets. The students at my school were only going to be sacrificing a few hours of their school day, and that was no sacrifice for most of them.
"Any plans for another tour?" Jason asked after we had settled into a silence for a few moments.
"Nothing certain," I told them. "We've been discussing doing something at the beginning of the year, but I don’t know how much school I can miss."
"Just drop out!" Stacy suggested, instantly eliciting laughter.
"Sometimes I wish I could," I replied. "But that doesn't feel like the right answer."
I slumped at the depression this admission garnered. The mood in the air changed noticeably.
"Hey, don't worry about it, Sarah,” Holly said as she gave me a sympathetic hug. “We are willing to work around your schedule. I for one hope to be on stage with you for many years to come."
I quickly glanced around the table, and all of them nodded in agreement. I smiled broadly.
"That’s the best thing I’ve heard you say!" I told them. "Because I want you all to be there for that long. It wouldn't be the same without you."
It was their turn to smile, and I was grateful for their support. I glanced back at the vista now partially hidden by the large men at my table.
I wouldn't change this for the world.
The lights slowly dimmed as 'Ever After' came to a close, bringing the venue into complete darkness. I felt a tug around my waist and heard the pop of the clasps that kept the fairytale skirt attached to my dress. Two more seconds and then Jason’s and Connor's guitars filled the air once again. Stacy joined in with a drum beat, and soon after the stage was awash with light once more as I began singing.
A cheer rang out from the crowd once again as they noticed the fairytale dress that I had been wearing had transformed in the dark into a more modern dress. But then some of the crowd recognized the song I was singing, and the energy in the venue transformed slightly and took on a melancholy feel. That feeling always occurred during the concert at this point, but tonight it felt like it had been compounded.
This song had been written by my band, but it perfectly described the emotions and feelings that I wanted to impart to the crowd now. 'Goodbye' was written about a girl leaving her boyfriend, but the upbeat song had a happy quality to it that helped to convey how it was a good thing.
I sang through the first verse about how hard it was going to be to not have him in my life. But it was when we ramped up into the first chorus that the rest of the crowd understood what this unreleased song actually meant. Stacy's drums came to a stop for a moment as I sang the word "Goodbye" for the first time. Immediately the crowd knew that the end of the concert was upon us.
The second verse talked about how happy I was when I was around the boy I was leaving. It talked about how much fun that we had together. But it also talked about how the relationship wasn't going anywhere. It wasn't enough to keep us together, but there wasn't anything to pull us apart. It ramped up into the chorus once more as I became the catalyst to ending the relationship, allowing both of us to move on.
The third verse was forlorn, as it talked about how hard it was to maintain the pretense of the relationship when both of us knew there was no love involved. We would always be friends, but we couldn't be more. I nearly screamed with frustration as I ended the verse and we jumped back into the chorus.
The second verse then repeated before we went through the chorus one last time, ending with a small solo from the band before I gave one last "Goodbye!"
Silence enveloped everyone as we finished for a moment. Most of the crowd didn't want to believe that it was over. But I felt even worse. Then a roar overwhelmed me as the crowd started clapping and screaming.
I looked out at the thousands of faces staring down at me. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I realized that the end had finally come. My emotions were in turmoil at the happiness I felt to be able to perform and the sadness it brought to know that it was ending for the time being. I knew that there would be other performances, but this was the end of an era because it was the end of my very first tour.
"Thank you, everyone!" I told the crowd, though their roar was likely too loud for many of them to hear me. The noise softened somewhat, though, as I stepped backward, allowing the many dancers who had been on the stage throughout the night to enter. The clapping continued as the spotlight lit them, and they bowed for the crowd. Then they stepped to the side and Sophie and Holly came to center stage and took their turns bowing. The cheering continued as the spotlight shone down on Stacy as he stood up and bowed for the crowd. Then Connor. Then Jason.
Finally the light shone down upon me once more, and I too bowed for the crowd, causing the volume in the venue to increase before the lights dimmed once again while all of us waved to the crowd.
I heard the crowd continuing to clap and cheer as darkness enveloped us. I was moving quickly. I still had one more song to perform as an encore, and it required another costume change. As I reached the edge of the stage I was ushered once again into the changing room. One dress came off, another went on. My mind wandered - I hoped that I would get to do this again someday. I hoped this wasn't the last concert tour that Sarah performed. I knew it was unlikely that this would be the end, but there was always a chance that something could prevent it.
Once I was redressed I made my way back to the edge of the stage. The crowd was still cheering, hoping for more. It was pretty standard to have an encore these days and most of them knew that I had left a very important song out of my concert up until this point. It didn't take a genius to know what was coming next.
The lights came back on, bathing the stage. The roar of the crowd increased as I stepped back out onto the stage. Then it increased again as people caught sight of what I was wearing. The white, fitted dress exposed most of my shoulders, with only a thin strip of the white satiny material holding it over my shoulder. From my waist down three layers of skirts fell to the middle of my thigh. The thin, feathery layer attached to the top of each skirt was what really caught the eyes of everyone who was watching me. I knew that the fabric acted like a prism and caused a myriad of colors to dance around the skirts as I moved.
It wasn't the first time that most of my fans had seen the dress. This was the dress that I had worn during the filming of my first music video. This was the dress that confirmed to everyone in the audience that 'You Can't Hurt Me' was the last song on the schedule for the evening.
"Thank you all once again for joining me this evening," I told the crowd, after I had reached center stage and they had quieted down enough for me to continue. "This night marks the end of the Intuition tour. It marks the end of a part of my life I never could have dreamed would happen. I'm so very grateful for the opportunity that I have had to party with all of you, and I hope that you have enjoyed this evening as much as I have."
There was another roar from the crowd that was meant to tell me they were having fun too. I smiled.
"Before I leave you this evening I want to share with you something that means everything to me," I continued. "Despite all of the success that I've been privileged to have this summer, it has been a hard journey. From day one people have tried to dictate my life. They've tried to make me conform to Hollywood's idea of what a young singer should be. They've tried to make me somebody whom I am not. But I'm not going to let them. I'm not going to change who I am just to sell records. I'm not going to be someone I'm not. I hope each and every one of you will do the same thing."
I dropped my arm, letting the microphone fall to my side for a moment as I took a step backward. I didn't need to tell them which song I was singing next. 'You Can't Hurt Me' had become synonymous with Sarah Carerra. Even those individuals who couldn't stand my music knew this song. It had so thoroughly permeated the music scene in this country over the last few months that it was nearly impossible not to have heard it at least once.
The music started immediately and I was thrust deeply into the emotions that performing this song always brought out in me. The pain and the anguish of that fateful day my life was turned upside-down had produced a masterpiece — a masterpiece that I knew was likely to be the biggest hit I ever had in my career. It had certainly done a great job of giving me the confidence to put the ordeal behind me, and it made me strong enough to withstand the many pressures I had just talked about to the crowd.
As I sang, I was once again overwhelmed with the power of this song. If it wasn't for the earpiece I wore, I wouldn't be able to hear myself over the sound of the crowd singing along with me. Every single person whom I could see throughout the venue was on their feet clapping and singing their hearts out. I couldn't believe that someone like me could write and sing a song that touched so many lives.
But in the end, I knew that I was making a difference. That was all I could ask for. I was addicted to performing and singing in front of a crowd, but I had seen the effect that I had on people. I had seen how I could bring hope and happiness to the young girls who were able to meet me. I had been able to use my influence to help others, some perhaps even more than I would ever know.
And that was what made everything worthwhile. Not the singing. Not the paycheck. Not the rush I got on stage. But the looks in the eyes of those girls that told me how much just meeting me had changed their lives.
The crowd erupted into the loudest roar of the evening as the song came to a close. Tears streaked down my cheek as the last note played, signaling the end of my concert tour. It was gut-wrenching to know that I would be sitting at home in Los Angeles next weekend instead of singing in front of a crowd somewhere, but I knew the time would come again when I would feel that rush burning inside of me.
I couldn't wait.
I had just taken my first bite from a cookie I had grabbed for a late night snack when there was a knock on the door to my bedroom on the bus.
I swallowed and placed the glass of milk next to the small plate of cookies, and then I climbed out of my bed and walked to the door. I opened the door slightly, and I saw my mom standing and smiling at me. I returned her smile while opening the door further to let her in.
Her eyes alit on the cookies immediately before she turned to the TV that was softly playing a replay from one of my concerts.
"I thought it was you I heard in the kitchen," she replied wryly. "Can't sleep?"
My smile widened, and I sat down on my bed.
"I don't want to go to sleep," I told her truthfully. "If I go to sleep, then it's over. I don't want it to be over."
She nodded her head, and sat down next to me.
"Oh, Megan," she exclaimed while hugging me. "I am so proud of you! You are amazing, you know that?"
I caught myself chuckling at her reaction, but I leaned against her shoulder all the same.
"That still doesn't mean I should go to bed," I told her, which caused her to chuckle.
"This isn't the end," she replied. "This isn't even the end of your concert tour. You know that you have one more at your school."
"It's not the same, Mom," I told her. "The people at school won’t be paying to come to that concert."
"Honey," she started, but I interrupted her before she could continue.
"I'm not saying that they aren't fans," I said. "Most of them are. But there's something special about a crowd that gave something up to come and see me. My classmates aren't giving up anything. I'm sure I'll enjoy performing a concert for them as much as anywhere else, but it isn't the same."
She thought about that for a moment before nodding her head in understanding. Then she pointed at the TV.
"Which concert is this?" she asked.
"Red Rocks Amphitheatre," I told her. "It was one of the concerts they filmed for the tour highlight video."
I leaned back against the headboard, and my mom did the same.
"Do you mind if I watch with you?" she asked.
"I would love that," I replied and then leaned my head against her shoulder once again.
She leaned her head against mine and we both turned our attention back to the TV, my cookies temporarily forgotten.
My mom was right. This wasn't the end. Even if the concert tour was over there was so much more coming. We were already discussing options for an expanded tour starting early next year, and we had even discussed making it a world tour. Sales of my album were starting to take off in Europe, Asia, and Australia, and it would be wonderful to get to visit some of the countries in those areas.
No, this wasn't the end. This was just the beginning.
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Practice Tuesday evening was the worst sound check I'd ever had. I felt rushed the entire night because we wanted to get in as many attempts as we could on the actual stage before our time ended.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.18 - Practice Makes Perfect by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: June 18, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.18 - Practice Makes Perfect
Our flight home to Los Angeles wasn't scheduled until late in the afternoon. That meant that my family and I spent the morning lounging around watching the crew take down the stage and pack up everything for the trip back to the storage area in Los Angeles. One of the first things that I had done after becoming CEO of my own company was to approve my accountant's request to move the busses and trucks from the expensive outdoor parking lot - where I had first seen my bus - to a warehouse that we had purchased instead. In the long run owning my own storage space was supposed to save me money.
Eventually we departed and we were able to listen to the weekly countdown as we drove back toward the airport. This would be the first week that 'Ever After' would have a chance to appear on the countdown, and I was anxious to see how it would fare against my other songs. My first two singles had debuted in the top ten, but that didn't guarantee that 'Ever After' would do the same thing.
I was lying on the couch with my head in my mom's lap when 'Ever After' was introduced on the countdown for the first time. I frowned, but continued listening.
"Sarah Carerra has certainly made a name for herself since the release of her first song this past summer," the host of the show said. "She's had two singles debut in the top ten. Her latest single is getting a lot of attention too. Debuting at #12 for the first time, here is 'Ever After'."
Even debuting at #12 was no small feat, but as I listened to the song Emily and I had written before my life turned into a whirlwind, I was disappointed that it didn't have the same impact as the other two singles I had released. It was likely to rise in the coming weeks, but I had really hoped that it would mirror at least 'Intuition' for Emily's sake.
We continued to listen after 'Ever After' ended and I was pleased to see that 'You Can't Hurt Me' was still in the top ten, even if it had dropped to #5. I knew it was on its way down the charts, but it seemed to be taking its time getting there. I could live with that. I still loved the song, probably more than any other song I had written.
The flight back home was uneventful and I moped around the house for the rest of the evening. I didn't have a concert to look forward to at the end of the week to make school bearable. But with the VMA awards happening next Sunday night I had a busy schedule of practices and dress fittings to occupy my time. Josh Holliday was even going to be in town this weekend and we would be recording our duet on Saturday. When I had agreed to sing ‘I Need You’ with him at his concert it came with the agreement that we would be recording the song together. Now wasn’t exactly the best time in my life to record it with him, but I had agreed to do it.
When I finally went to sleep I knew that life as Sarah would go on. There was way too much to look forward to that I would be able to pull myself out of any funk I might have fallen into.
School the next day wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The other students had come to accept me for the most part. Every once in a while I would meet someone who didn't see eye to eye with me, but the abuse was becoming less common as the school year progressed. It seemed that people were starting to realize that I was what I actually appeared to be.
But I knew it was going to be a bad day when I walked inside and found Mr. Benson glowing. The last time I had seen him like that I was required to sing in front of the class and Mark and I had been voted as lead singers. I took my seat, unsure if I wanted to stay in the class any longer.
"It's time to start practicing for our first performance," he told us after he started the class. I slumped down in my seat, a move that wasn't lost on our teacher. I saw his smile falter for a moment before he continued. "We'll be performing a small Halloween concert for the school the Friday before Halloween. We'll mix some Halloween type songs together with some newer pieces."
There was some murmuring from the class as some of the students became excited, some were indifferent about the performance, and some of us - primarily me - wanted to transfer into any other class. I knew that Mr. Benson would try to promote me as one of the talents in the group, but I was still opposed to that idea. Especially since the concert would occur the week after I performed for the school as Sarah.
"That gives us four weeks to learn to sing as a group," Mr. Benson told us. "But we are also going to be learning some choreography to go with the performance. Learning the choreography will help us be better prepared for what Sarah Carerra is going to want us to do."
I was shocked by that statement! I knew that it was likely I would be asking for some choreography from the group when I finally got around to planning out the Christmas concert, so I was somewhat grateful that Mr. Benson was trying to prepare the class the best he could. But he still should have asked me first.
The rest of the class period was spent going over the songs he had chosen. None of them made me feel like they would give away my secret if I had to sing them for an audience, but that didn't mean that I would be safe. I knew that I was going to have to be very careful, but I thought I could get away with being the lead on one or two of the songs. I still thought that it would be helpful to get Jane to sing some of the songs, but I wasn't sure that Mr. Benson would let me.
It still didn't make me feel any better about the performance, however.
Fortunately, I had the Video Music Awards to get ready for. We had confirmed that I would perform during the show, and we were scheduled to rehearse on stage Tuesday and Wednesday evenings. Then there was my final fitting for my dress on Thursday afternoon so that I would be ready for the awards show Sunday night. If I thought that the end of the concert tour had meant that Sarah's schedule wouldn't be as busy then I was mistaken! I was also recording a duet with Josh on Saturday because he was in town for the awards also.
I was surprised when I arrived at the theatre where the awards were being held Tuesday evening. There were a number of Paparazzi and fans hanging outside of the theatre to watch the celebrities come and go, but I wasn't given any time to interact with them. I was led straight past them and to the stage where my band and dancers were already waiting for me.
We began working immediately. Apparently time was a premium as they tried to get stage time for all performers to allow them to work out any issues before the big night. My performance was similar to what we had done during each of my concerts. We had to make a few adjustments to accommodate the stage in the theatre, but that wasn't anything new to my experienced crew. Kate Abernathy, my choreographer, was on hand to help us, but in reality it was just like any other concert performance. There would be a few differences in the theatrics that the show directors wanted to include, but our choreography and performance were generally unchanged.
Practice Tuesday evening was the worst sound check I'd ever had. I felt rushed the entire night because we wanted to get in as many attempts as we could on the actual stage before our time ended. There were still other performers practicing after us, so we couldn't take too much time.
Wednesday night was even worse. We had full dress rehearsals on Wednesday night. I was considered to be one of the "big" performers for the evening, which gave me some leeway as we practiced, but there was still a strict timeframe and we had no time to dally. By the end of the night, I was more tense than I'd ever been while practicing. Nevertheless, I believed that the show would be spectacular.
More singing in chorus on Thursday. Mr. Benson hadn't actually tried to pull Mark or me out of the crowd yet, so I was somewhat grateful. It probably wouldn’t be long before we started working on the songs that were supposed to spotlight us, however. But the longer we waited, the better I felt. Mark was starting to become upset, however.
When I walked into my house after school, my excitement started to grow. I was supposed to have my dress fitting with the designer whom Julia and I had chosen to make my VMA dress. Julia was really excited to be working with this designer, but I had never met Avalon Sirocco before. We had given her an idea of what we were looking for in the dress, and I couldn't wait to see what she had come up with.
"Ready to go?" I asked Emily when she showed up at our door not long after I had finished getting ready and putting on the wig. She had run home to change into Chloe.
"Yes!" she exclaimed, because she was as excited as I was. I nodded and led her out to my car, and then we headed off for Beverly Hills. Avalon's boutique was just off of Rodeo Drive.
Amazingly I was able to pull my car into a parking spot right in front of the small shop, right behind a very familiar silver Lexus. Almost immediately people started to look our way. When I stepped out of my car, I was worried about being late if I needed to sign any autographs, but the owner of the Lexus came out of the door to the shop almost immediately to usher me inside.
"Hi, Julia," I greeted her warmly while walking around my car and giving her a small hug.
"Hi, Sarah," she replied, smiling as we separated. Then she turned to Chloe. "It's nice to see you again, Chloe."
Emily's face lit up immediately at the recognition, and I saw the corner of Julia's mouth curl upward too. Julia and I had become close over the summer and I knew that I was one of her best clients. She had confessed to me that she did more work for me than any of her other clients. I started to worry for a moment before she had smiled and told me that she wouldn't have it any other way. But I was very happy that she was also willing to get to know my friends.
"Come on inside," Julia continued. "Avalon has a dress for you that I think you are going to love."
I smiled at her words, and I nodded. I followed her to the door, waving at a few fans while I did. The inside of the shop was a mix between a high end boutique and some of the clothes shops that Emily and I often shopped at. I spent a lot more on clothes now than I did at the beginning of the summer, and I thankfully had a budget that allowed me to do so. But it wasn't often that we went shopping in this area.
I was greeted immediately by a young woman who couldn't be any older than 27 or 28. Her blonde hair fell to her shoulders, and she looked more like she was ready to go to the beach than she was to attend a fashion show. She certainly didn't look like what I expected from a fashion designer.
"Sarah!" she greeted me excitedly before embracing me in a hug like we were old friends. "I'm so glad you're here!"
Her enthusiasm was so great that I knew immediately how excited she was to be dressing me for an awards show. As I looked around the shop I got the impression that she didn't do a lot of designing for celebrities. However, I already knew that some of my more famous pieces had been designed by her, most notably the amazing dress that had been featured in the music video for 'You Can't Hurt Me'.
I also knew that Julia and Avalon had been best friends growing up. Furthermore, I knew that Julia used her position as an image consultant to refer work to her best friend, but I didn't care. Avalon's designs were beautiful and I would love to be able to wear them. Besides, I knew that I was the first client whom Julia had approached Avalon to design a “red carpet look” for. And I had a feeling that it was because she felt her other clients weren't up to Avalon's standards.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Avalon," I replied as we separated. "I've worn plenty of your amazing work and I'm honored to get to meet the woman who has designed them."
"The honor is all mine," Avalon said with a smile that told me she truly believed that. I felt that I might just be the person who launched Avalon's career to the next level. I hoped that was true, because she really deserved it.
"Come on back," Avalon continued. "Based on what you and Julia decided on, I think you'll like what I've come up with."
I followed Avalon back behind her sales counter and into a fitting room. What I found there brought a huge smile to my face and proved that our decision to let Avalon create my dress was the right one.
The Video Music Awards was more laid back than most award shows. The dresses and clothes that usually hit the red carpet at the VMA's tended toward fun and flirty more than elegant. Avalon had managed to bring a good mix of the two into the dress that she had created.
The dress itself was a canary yellow that had already proven to be a complimentary color to Sarah's looks. It had spaghetti straps holding up a very fitted bodice that flowed into a skirt that fell just below my knees. Sitting on a stand next to the dress was a pair of yellow 4" sandals with a beautiful gold/yellow band across the beginning of my toes and a black strap around the ankle to hold them in place. A few other black stripes offset the yellow in the strap.
I was stunned! "It's beautiful!" fell out of my mouth immediately. We had asked Avalon to come up with a dress that made me look elegant but still left an impression of my true age. Even though I was only 16, the media constantly commented that I looked more like I was 18 or 19. This dress would fit right into place with that look.
"Oh, Avalon," Julia gushed at the sight of the dress. "It's perfect! It's exactly what we were hoping for!"
I nodded, and I had the opportunity to watch a tear fall from her eye and slip down her cheek before she caught it. Right then I knew that despite the location of her store in such a prominent fashion district, she had not been as successful as she hoped she would be. I felt that perhaps it was her relationship with Julia that was still sustaining her business. But I also knew that this dress would place her on the map. Mentally I vowed to drop her name many times Sunday night, and I hoped that she had a line outside her door Monday morning. With my fan base I wouldn't be surprised to find that thought come true.
"Come on," Avalon said while wiping the tear away. "Let's see how it fits."
Friday was a very relaxing day. It was the only "free" day that I would have from Sarah this week, because I would be recording a duet tomorrow and Sunday would be busy with all of the preparations for the awards show.
I still couldn't believe that I was going to a major awards show with the possibility of taking home an award! I still didn't understand how I had gathered such a big fan following in such a short time. I wasn't complaining, by any means. I loved the spotlight and I couldn't wait to get back up on stage once more. I couldn't wait to hear the crowd screaming my name again.
That was why hearing my name called out in my last class jarred me from my daydreaming.
"Megan," Mr. Benson said again, breaking me out of the reverie that I had been in all day.
"What?" I asked, causing a small chuckle from the class. I knew that he had asked me something, but I hadn't been paying attention.
"Are you ready to start practicing?" he repeated himself to me. "We are working on the first 'signature' piece of the performance."
I slumped my shoulders and frowned. "Not really," I grumbled, nervous about what that would mean.
"Good," he said, ignoring my response. "Everyone please turn to page 10 of your songbook."
I flipped through the pages of the "textbook" we had been given. I sighed when I saw the song that was displayed. I had been hoping that it would be something that I could tell Mr. Benson I wouldn't sing, but the truth was that it was so different from my normal music that I didn't really have an excuse. It was a show choir tune, and I knew that I could probably sing it without risking my identity too much. I would tolerate him for now, but I knew the time was approaching when I was going to have to put my foot down.
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Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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"Hi, Sarah," he replied. "It's nice to see you again." At least his smile seemed genuine. We had both hurt each other at our respective concerts, but I still hoped that we could be friends.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.19 - The Calm before the Storm by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: June 25, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.19 - The Calm before the Storm
When I awoke Saturday morning, it was with excitement. The next two days were going to be fun, and I couldn't wait to get started.
After getting dressed and eating breakfast I drove to a familiar office that I hadn't visited in nearly two months.
I was still excited as I took a seat in the waiting room of Mary's office. Mary was my therapist and had been instrumental in helping me to recover from the horrible car accident I had been in when I was 10 and through the many changes that my life had taken this year. The concert tour had kept me from being able to visit her at our regular time, but now that it was over I was happy to pick up where we had left off.
Eventually Mary came out of her office with a boy about my age. She said goodbye to him, and turned toward me. I ignored the looks the boy was giving me as I focused my attention on Mary.
"Megan!" she said excitedly. More excitedly than I would have expected from her. It seemed like she had actually missed talking with me as much as I missed talking with her.
"Hi Mary," I replied happily and stepped into her outstretched arms for a friendly hug. When she let go, she gestured toward her office before looking over my shoulder.
"Did you need anything else, Jake?" she asked. I turned to find that the boy who had exited her office was still staring at me.
"No," he said and I was happy to see him turn a nice shade of turnip. "I'm just waiting for my ride."
"Okay," Mary replied and turned back to me and gestured toward her office once more. I walked into her office and took my regular seat while she closed the door behind us and took her own seat.
"How have you been?" she asked me excitedly, and I could see it in her eyes. Mary was one of the few people who knew about my secret. She knew that I was Sarah Carerra, and it was obvious that she really wanted to hear about all the exciting things that a pop star went through.
I smiled. "I've been great," I told her truthfully. "So much has happened since we last talked. Most of it was good. I can't complain about any of the things that Sarah has had the opportunity to do. School has been harder, but not so bad."
I caught a slight frown as I tried to steer the conversation away from Sarah and onto things that would be more helpful for me. I knew that we’d still have plenty of time to talk about Sarah at the end of our appointment.
Mary, who was the consummate professional, caught on immediately, and I finally had someone to talk to about all of the troubles I'd had in school so far. I vented about the crap the girls had given me in P.E. I got to complain about Mr. Benson's desire to try and expose my secret. I know he wasn't doing it intentionally, but I was deeply suspicious that he didn't have my best intentions at heart. We even talked about Jared Lumbart, whom I hadn't had any more problems with for several weeks.
By the time we got around to talking about Sarah I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Talking with Mary always gave me that feeling, and I hoped that she would be there for many years to come.
After leaving Mary's office I drove to a small restaurant that served really good food. I grabbed the small bag I had brought with me off the passenger seat, climbed out of my car, and entered to find another face that was always able to make me smile.
"Hi Heather!" I greeted my cousin's little girl with that smile as I took her from Tracy. The little infant lit up immediately and I could see her own smile creep across her face. I looked up at her mother again. "Hi Tracy."
"Hi Megan," she replied, as I heard the humor in her voice. I was pretty sure Tracy still got a kick out of seeing how happy Heather could make me.
We were led back to a table, and I split my time between Heather and Tracy. The food was good. The company was better. It was exactly what I needed before I spent the afternoon in a sound booth with Josh Holliday.
As we finished and headed for our cars I finally opened the bag that I had pulled from my car.
"I have something for Heather," I told Tracy as we approached her Escalade.
Tracy looked at me quizzically for a moment before I pulled a small pink bear out of the bag. Then her eyes shot up as she recognized the Carerra Bear. She had seen them before and knew what they were about, but it was apparent she had never expected me to give one to Heather.
"Megan..." she said before trailing off. I smiled and handed the bear to her. She held it close to Heather, who reached for it immediately. The little girl wouldn't be able to hold it herself yet, but even she seemed to sense some of what the bear symbolized.
"Thank you," Tracy finally found her words again.
"You're welcome," I told her. I didn't need to tell her anything more. She knew how rarely I gave out these bears.
We said our goodbyes, but Tracy was still speechless by the time I climbed into my car and pulled away.
I felt unsettled walking into Platinum Records an hour and a half later. I had never set foot in a recording studio that wasn't owned by my own record company. But the duet that I was recording with Josh was being produced by his record company. I knew that a deal had been struck between his record company and my own, but it still felt vaguely like I was breaking some rule by being here.
"Sarah," an older man said as I walked into the lobby. The look he was giving me and the tone of his voice immediately put me on guard. His greeting was more than just simply saying ‘hello’; I knew that he was hoping to poach me away from Olympic Records. Little did he know how unlikely that was! Scott had been the catalyst for starting my career, and he had done nothing since then to make me even think about going somewhere else. I had no reason to leave.
"Hello," I replied. One of the downsides to being famous was the disadvantage it gave me when meeting people. Nearly everyone I met already knew my name, yet I didn’t know theirs. It was always an uncomfortable few moments between the time they greeted me and when they realized that they should introduce themselves. This was made even more uncomfortable by the hunger that was in his eyes as he thought about how much money I could bring to his company. Eventually I raised my eyebrows and looked at him quizzically.
"I'm Jeremy Morrison," came his eventual realization. "I'm the President of Platinum Records and I wanted to greet you personally."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," I told him. Even though I knew what he was up to, I felt that it was a good idea to be nice to him. He might not be able to hurt my career if I angered him, but he could hurt Josh's.
"We're honored to have you with us today," he continued his spiel. "If you'll follow me I'll show you to the studios. I believe Josh is already here."
"Okay," I agreed and followed him as he led me down many corridors. I soon realized we were not taking a direct route. It was his way of giving me a tour of the facilities to try to tempt me away from Olympic Records. However, what I saw didn’t impress me at all. I knew that Olympic Records was a bigger company, so I wasn't sure why Jeremy thought he could lure me away.
I humored him, however. We had all afternoon to record the duet, and we had already sung 'I Need You' in front of a crowd twice. It wouldn't take us too long to get it recorded. I wasn't exactly looking forward to seeing Josh again after what had happened at my concert in Utah, so the detour was a nice distraction.
But I knew it wouldn't last. Eventually we ended up outside a door that led into the studio we would be using today.
"Here we are," Jeremy said, opening the door and stepping in. I followed in behind him and found Josh sitting on a couch in the control room. Thankfully, he smiled. "I found your pretty duet partner, Josh," Jeremy said while grinning at him. He thought he was being funny, but it just sounded like more campaigning to get me to switch to his company.
I smiled and chuckled for him anyway, before turning my attention to the young man I wasn't sure how to respond to anymore. "Hi, Josh," I said, leaving it in his hands.
"Hi, Sarah," he replied. "It's nice to see you again." At least his smile seemed genuine. We had both hurt each other at our respective concerts, but I still hoped that we could be friends. This seemed to be a good first step.
"Well, I'll leave the two of you to your work," Jeremy said before walking back out of the room. I couldn't tell if Jeremy had given up on his campaign, but as long as he wasn't around I didn't have to worry about hurting his feelings by saying 'no'.
"Sarah," Josh said after the door had closed. "I'd like to introduce you to David Karlson. He'll be helping us produce the song today."
"It's a pleasure," David said grinning, while extending his hand.
I took it and we shook briefly. "It's nice to be here," I replied.
"Good," he stated with another toothy grin. "We've got a lot of work to do today. If you two are ready to get started..."
He trailed off, but Josh and I both understood what he wanted. Without another word we headed into the studio to get to work.
"It wasn't that bad!" I said, but the laughter in my voice didn't help.
"Maybe not," Josh replied through his own laugh. "But you were certainly scared to death."
"Well of course I was!" I shot back. "I'd never had that many people staring at me before!"
He broke out into laughter again before eating another mouthful of the pizza that we had ordered. David had proven to be a bigger taskmaster than Scott ever was, so we were still working on recording the duet. We stopped for dinner, and Josh and I reflected on my first foray onto a red carpet when I had accompanied him to the Tweeny Awards earlier this year.
Both of us would be on the red carpet again tomorrow, but unlike the first time we wouldn't be together. I had nixed the idea of being escorted by anyone and had happily invited Emily to be my ‘plus one’ for the evening. She was as excited as I expected her to be, and I had even employed the services of both Julia and Stephanie to make sure that she looked her best. Ethan had, of course, professed his jealousy at being left out. I knew this wouldn't be the last time that I attended an event like this, and I'd had to promise to return the favor for him so that he would stop complaining.
"You didn't show it," Josh commented, which brought a smile to my face. He was right. I had been scared to death that night. But having Josh there with me had kept me from turning and running. I don't know if I would have been able to make it without him.
"Thank you," I told him and took a bite of my own pizza. Tomorrow would be completely different. I wasn't scared to be in front of a crowd anymore. I wasn't afraid of the cameras or the questions that would be pointed my way either. I was actually looking forward to it.
We sat in silence for a moment as we ate.
"I'm sorry," he broke the silence, but he seemed unable to look at me.
"For what?" I asked warily, unsure of where he was going with this.
"For pushing you away," he said, looking up and directly into my eyes. "I never should have let you go."
I stopped, my pizza half way to my mouth. There had been many chances for the two of us to get together. But we had never been able to click. First it was me, and then it was him, now it was me again. Josh was a great guy. He was going to make some girl very lucky someday. But I couldn't see myself being that girl anymore. It just didn't seem like it was meant to be.
Josh watched me, as if he could see all of these thoughts flow through my head. But instead of turning sadly away, like he had been at the concert in Salt Lake City, he was smiling at me. That smile was full of the friendship that we had developed and had grown as we worked together today. We had proven that we could work together. We had proven that we could be friends.
No response from me was needed. No response would have conveyed the way I felt.
"Is there anyone else in your life?" I asked instead. It was apparent that he had come to terms with what had happened, and I was curious if he had started to move on yet. I hoped he had. He deserved to be happy.
"No," he replied. "Not yet."
I nodded. "What about Megan?" I asked him. He had shown an interest in my real identity earlier this summer. I had half-expected a call from him hoping to take me on a date. But nothing had materialized.
A weird expression crossed his face. It was part longing, part I don't know what. I couldn't understand exactly what he was feeling right now.
"I don't know," he said. "She was pretty cool. But I hardly know her. And honestly, she reminds me a bit too much of you."
I giggled, causing him to smile.
"Well it's true," he said. "I only met here for a short time, but you two are so alike."
"Don, her dad," I told him. "He thinks we were twins separated at birth." It was a white lie, but it did sound like something my dad would say.
"Then how come you are always with Chloe and not with Megan?" he asked. A jolt went up my spine as I realized that I had treaded into territory I didn't want to be in. I needed to separate myself from Megan, but this conversation was doing the opposite!
"Megan and I have known each other for a long time," I told him. "She's one of my best friends. But Chloe and I have been inseparable since birth."
"Oh," he said. I wasn't sure if that was a good 'oh' or a bad 'oh' but he seemed to buy it.
"What about you?" he turned the conversation around. "Is there anyone in your life?"
"No," I replied immediately. Maybe too fast. He gave me a look that made it seem like he didn't believe me.
"Nobody?" he tried to confirm.
"Well…" I said, realizing what he had seen and what I had felt. "I do have one friend who I think is interested in me, but I don't really feel the same way." Paul had pretty much come out and told me that he wanted to be my boyfriend after he had found out that I was Sarah Carerra. But I had told Josh the truth when I said that I didn't feel the same way. Paul was a great guy, but...
"I'd guess you probably have a lot of guys you could say that about," he said, as I heard the humor in his voice.
"I could say the same about you!" I shot back, and then we broke into laughter once more.
"Are you two ready?" came a voice from the door to the room we were eating in. I looked up to find David in the doorway.
"I guess so," Josh replied and I nodded before starting to clean up.
"Great!" David exclaimed. "I think we almost have it. It shouldn't take us more than another hour or two."
That wasn’t reassuring. But at least it was fun work.
"Good night, Sarah," Josh said as we exited the record studio and made our way to our cars. Platinum Records had a designated parking area for people like us, so our cars weren't too far apart.
"Good night, Josh," I replied. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"I'm sure I'll see a lot more of you," he replied with a laugh. "I mean, five nominations in your first year. I've never had that many, combined!"
I had to laugh too. I knew that Josh was jealous of how successful I'd been in such a short time. But he deserved just as much recognition.
"It's not like I'm going to win any of them," I said modestly. I really hoped I won at least one of the categories I was nominated for. But it was unlikely. I had a large fan base, but I was still confined to the 'Pop' genre. I wouldn't be able to overcome the many fans of other types of music. It was nice to get nominated, though.
Josh busted out laughing again.
"Oh, Sarah," he said in a tone that told me he thought I wasn't seeing the true picture. "I wouldn't be surprised if you won all five."
I laughed this time. That didn't even seem possible to me.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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"We are here to present the award for Best Pop Video," Kristy said into the microphone. "The nominees are..." I watched, mesmerized, as scenes from my own music video were broadcasting. "Sarah Carerra," the voice said one last time. "'You Can't Hurt Me'."
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.20 - Video Music Awards by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: July 2, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.20 - Video Music Awards
I looked over at Emily, dressed as Chloe. She was still staring out the window in awe as we approached downtown Los Angeles, where the Video Music Awards were being held this year. Emily had been to many of Sarah's events, but nothing like this. Then again this was only the second time I'd been to an event like this as Sarah.
When our limo stopped at the beginning of the red carpet, Emily’s expression suddenly changed from one of awe to one of terror as she saw all of the people and the cameras waiting for us. When she turned to me, I had to suppress my laugh.
"It'll be okay," I told her. "You don't even have to say anything if you don't want to. Just follow my lead and stay near me. Amy said there are a couple of places where they will want to take my picture, and you might have to hang back then, but I'll be at your side the rest of the time, okay?"
Emily nodded, but she still looked like a deer caught in a car’s headlights. Before I could say anything else, the door closest to me opened. I had no choice but to start exiting the car. Flashes were already hitting me from all over the place, and a roar came from a crowd that had gathered nearby to watch the celebrities being dropped off. I waved at them and then turned to make sure that Emily was getting out of the car.
She flinched a bit as the cameras started flashing faster. She wasn’t truly aware of how many pictures of her would be taken this evening. I didn't have the heart to tell her that her face was probably going to be on websites soon. But the red wig that she was wearing was offset so perfectly by the beautiful green dress that she and Julia had picked out, Avalon had made, and I had paid for. The makeup that Stephanie had applied to her face was flawless, making her very photogenic. Having her picture out in public couldn't possibly be a bad thing.
Emily took a deep breath after she was out and then we started walking down the carpet. We stopped at a number of designated places where I was to pose for pictures before we reached the interviewers.
"Sarah!" I heard someone yell. "Over here!"
I looked and found a familiar face beckoning me toward her. I smiled and led Emily over toward her. Michelle Tomlinson was a correspondent for an MTV show. She was also the first person to interview Josh and me the first time I had been on the red carpet.
"Hi, Sarah," she said as we approached. I saw the red light on the camera behind her that indicated we were already being recorded. Perhaps we were even live on TV somewhere.
"Hi, Michelle," I replied, smiling wider. "It's nice to see you again."
Michelle smiled at my recognition, and promptly began the interview. Time was a commodity on the red carpet.
"You've made quite an impression this year," she said. "You were virtually unknown when I met you on the red carpet at the Tweeny Awards. Now you've been nominated for five VMA awards. Why do you think you've garnered such a following in such a short amount of time?"
"I honestly don't know," I replied truthfully. "I've just tried to write and sing songs that have meaning to me. I never expected so many people to relate to my music the way they have."
"I understand you have two songs in the top ten on nearly every single pop chart in the country today," she continued. "Why do you think your fans feel so connected to your songs?"
I smiled. 'Ever After' had breached the top 10 on its second week, coming in at #7. 'You Can't Hurt Me' had managed to hold on to the #6 spot on the countdown.
"I think that my fans relate to my music because it touches on things in their own lives," I told Michelle and the camera. "I write about the things that have happened in my own life or that I see around me. I know that my songs have been able to get me through some of the tough times in my own life, and I think they speak to my fans in the same way."
"Who's your friend?" Michelle asked next.
I turned to Emily and smiled.
"This is Chloe Carpenter," I replied. "She is my best friend in the entire world." I reached over and hugged her closely for a moment. "I couldn't imagine bringing anyone else tonight."
"This is the Chloe who helped you write 'Ever After'?" Michelle asked.
I nodded. "One and the same," I replied.
"What do you think so far?" Michelle asked before holding the microphone out to Chloe, who took on a look of panic.
It became apparent quickly that she was incapable of speech, and Michelle turned back to me with a chuckle of her own.
"She's a little shy," I replied with a bit of laughter of my own.
"Well it was nice speaking with both of you anyway," Michelle said. "Thank you both."
I nodded, and then we were moving down the carpet again. We stopped periodically for more pictures. Sometimes I was alone. Sometimes Chloe was in the shot with me. We stopped for interviews many more times too, and eventually Emily was even able to speak in a couple of them.
It was just before we entered the theatre that we were stopped by an aide and asked to wait in a short line to be interviewed on the live red carpet show. I smiled and nodded. We still had a lot of time until the awards show started, and this was a lot more fun than sitting in our seats waiting.
It took a few minutes as Brian Lakeside, who was hosting the pre-show this evening, had made it through each of the celebrities in front of me. Emily was in awe at all the famous faces surrounding us, and we even spoke to some of them as we waited. Sadly, Emily was asked to wait at the side when it came to my interview, but she was finally having too much fun to care too much.
"Coming down the carpet now is Sarah Carerra," Brian said as I was directed to approach the small dais that he was broadcasting from.
"Welcome to the red carpet, Sarah," he greeted me.
"Hi, Brian," I replied. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
"The pleasure is mine, I assure you," he shot back with that amazing smile that he was known for. "Not only are you up for Best New Artist this evening but you are also in the running for Video of the Year. That's quite an accomplishment."
"Thank you," I replied. He hadn't actually asked a question, so I didn't really have anything to respond to.
"In total you have been nominated for five awards tonight," he continued. "And your video for 'You Can't Hurt Me' has already won a VMA for Best Direction. Not a bad start to your career."
I was stunned for a second.
"I hadn't heard that it won yet," I replied truthfully. Then a smile spread across my face before I continued speaking. "But if that's the case then I need to congratulate Jonothon Smith, my director."
"Well I'm sure this is just the first of many for you tonight," Brian said. "You have that spark that makes you so irresistible."
He gave me a mocking leer, which made me laugh. It was a good thing I knew he was happily married or I might have been worried. But it was quite apparent that he was joking around.
"You do look amazing tonight, though," he continued after we had finished chuckling together. "Who are you wearing?"
"Avalon Sirocco," I replied proudly. "I love her designs and I'm more than happy to show them off."
"Well, I wish you the best of luck this evening, Sarah," Brian told me. "I'm sure that we will be hearing your name a lot in the near future, and it has been a pleasure talking with you."
"Thank you," I replied with a smile before he turned back to the camera to segue into another bit. I turned and joined Emily again and gladly led her into the theatre.
"Live from Los Angeles, welcome to the Video Music Awards!" blared from the loud speakers as Allyson Sutterfield, who had won Video of the Year last year, left the stage. Each of tonight's performers had a video nominated for the top prize, but she had won the lucky opening spot to the show. "Please welcome your host, Martin Robbins!" the voice continued.
Everyone in the theatre clapped as Martin Robbins appeared on stage. Martin was the star of a number of recent action movies that had done well at the box office. He was also pretty cute, even if he was nearly the same age as my dad.
"Welcome everybody!" he greeted us a moment later. "It's great to be here tonight among such esteemed nominees. We have a lot to do this evening, so let’s get right to it. Please welcome to the stage Kristy Deltoro and Travis Edmunds."
The crowd started clapping and cheering as the two young singers walked out onto the stage and toward a microphone. There was a bit of bantering between the two of them before they got to the point of why they were here.
"We are here to present the award for Best Pop Video," Kristy said into the microphone. "The nominees are..."
She trailed off and a video presentation took over on the many screens around the theatre.
"Katie Sperry," a female voice said over the loud speakers as images from Katie's music video were displayed on the screens. "'Friday Nights'."
The video changed, showing another artist "Stella", the voice said again, introducing the new artist. "'The Deep'." The voice continued on to list the nominees: Mark Bruno for 'Flashbang' and Whitney Sears for 'The End of the World' before the screen shifted to a very familiar scene.
I watched, mesmerized, as scenes from my own music video were broadcasting. "Sarah Carerra," the voice said one last time. "'You Can't Hurt Me'."
I smiled. I was sure that it was being broadcast across the nation, but I didn't care. It wasn't likely that I was going to win anything tonight other than possibly the award for Best New Artist, but just hearing my name called was an amazing feeling!
The video presentation of the nominees ended and all focus was directed back to the stage, where Kristy and Travis were still standing.
"And the winner is..." Travis said before the two of them opened the envelope together.
"Sarah Carerra, 'You Can't Hurt Me'!" Katie screamed into the microphone over the already cheering crowd.
I felt a lump form in my throat, choking me. I turned to Emily, shocked. She was smiling and wrapped her arms around me in a hug.
"Congratulations, Megan," she whispered into my ear. "I knew you could do it!"
I nodded, or at least I thought I did, before I turned and made my way down the aisle toward the stage. The lights seemed too bright. The sounds seemed to be too loud. Time stretched on into eternity as I walked. Someone grabbed my hand and helped me up the few steps onto the stage, and then before I knew what was happening I was standing in front of a microphone with something heavy in my hands.
I looked down, shocked to find one of the award statues there. For a moment I just stared at it. I tried to understand what was happening. My mind was racing so fast that I couldn't even remember what I was supposed to say in the unlikely event that this moment happened. I knew I had prepared something, but I could no longer remember it.
"Um," I said, which was not a good start. "Wow," came next, but it didn't help any more. "This is unexpected," was third, and it caused a bit of laughter from the crowd. It was probably pretty obvious that I hadn't thought this was going to happen.
"This is more than I ever expected to have happen tonight," I said, finally finding some of the words that were jumbling around inside my brain. "I was honestly just happy to be nominated for these awards. I need to thank God for giving me this opportunity. My family for being so supportive. I miss them dearly and can't wait to see them again. I have to thank my former manager Don and his family for helping me find a start and giving me a place to stay. Scott Crawford for giving me the chance to sing. Olympic Records and all of the many wonderful people that have worked with me. My band 'Pop Fly' and Sophie and Holly. Xander and Chloe, my two best friends. None of this would have happened without them. But most of all I have to thank the fans for believing in me. I have been so amazed with how wonderful you guys have been. Thank you."
I took a deep breath, amazed that I had been able to get all of that out. Whenever we sat at home and watched these awards shows I always thought it seemed so fake when the winners started spouting off name after name, but now, after going through it, all I could think about were all of the other names that were now popping into my head that hadn't come out of my mouth earlier. I hoped they didn't hate me for not mentioning them.
Music started, and I was moving, being led somewhere. Some moments later I realized that I was backstage on a couch, trying to catch my breath.
"Are you okay?" a young woman asked from nearby.
"Yeah," I replied, breathing deeply. "I just... I didn't... Yeah. Just give me a second."
"Okay," she replied. "But don't take too long. The media is waiting for pictures and interviews before you need to get ready for your performance."
I nodded, but things still seemed so surreal. The only thing tethering me to the ground at this point was the weight of the statue in my hand. I held it tightly, trying to wrestle myself into some semblance of order.
I still didn't feel normal moments later when the young woman led me further down the hall. I didn't feel like myself as I posed for more photos and answered questions posed by a large contingent of press in an appointed area backstage. I wasn't even fully aware of what was going on as I changed into the 'You Can't Hurt Me' dress in my dressing room backstage and let Stephanie do my makeup.
It wasn't until I was up on stage performing 'You Can't Hurt Me' for the crowd that I started to feel normal again. There, surrounded by five of the people whom I had thanked during my speech, I finally found my breath again.
It was nearly 45 minutes later by the time I made it back to my seat next to Emily. After my performance I had to change back into my original dress, return the performance dress to Stephanie for safekeeping, and then I had to wait for a commercial break before I could be escorted back to my seat. Emily was happy to see me, of course, and hugged me once again. She wanted to see the award immediately, but I'd had to turn it in to someone instead of holding it in my seat throughout the night. I was still unclear if I was going to be able to take the award home later this evening or if it was going to be delivered to me later, but I no longer needed it to ground me in reality. I had Emily for that.
We watched the rest of the show in wonder. Emily readily admitted that they were a lot more fun in person than on TV. Josh was nominated for Best Male Video, but he didn't win. Eventually, they got to the next award that I had been nominated for: Best New Artist.
After winning Best Pop Video I felt really good about my chances at winning this award. Many people had commented on my meteoric rise to fame, and I thought that might give me a chance to win one more award tonight. This was likely the only other shot I had at getting back onto stage this evening.
"And the nominees are..." the actor and actress on stage said before the familiar video presentation started once more.
"Sarah Carerra," the female voice intoned my name once more. "'You Can't Hurt Me'." It then went on to name my competition: For The People for 'Kickers', Caleena for 'Wasp', Shauna for 'Last of Me', and someone named Geisha that I had never heard of for a song oddly entitled 'Coochie Coo'.
"And the winner is..." the actress said.
"For the People, 'Kickers'!" the actor said.
I immediately felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. Best New Artist had been the one award that I thought I could win this evening. It had been the one award that I wanted to win, and it hadn't happened. I kept a smile on my face as I watched the band that had won climb onto the stage. Even they seemed a little shocked that they had won. But they did make good music, and despite my disappointment, I was happy for them.
Emily grabbed my hand and squeezed.
The rest of the awards show went better. After I had resigned myself to taking home the one award I started to enjoy myself again. Emily and I enjoyed the other performances. We enjoyed the silly banter that the presenters tried to entertain us with. We even managed to enjoy listening to the ‘thank you’ speeches, something we normally joked about. But even Emily seemed to recognize how important they were after her own name had been included in one.
That was why when my name was said during the nominations for Best Female Video I sat back and enjoyed the applause I received while smiling and waving at the camera that was pointed at me.
"And the winner is..." the presenter said once again. "Stella, 'The Deep'."
I kept smiling, knowing that I was being watched. But I still had to think about how weird fan-voted awards shows were. Earlier I had won Best Pop Video over Stella's own video, but now she had turned around and won Best Female Video over me. It didn't make a whole lot of sense when anyone really thought about it. If she had the Best Female Video then it seemed to me like she would have the Best Pop Video too.
Then again, I was glad the award was fan-voted because it did give me the chance to at least win something. Jonothon had done a great job in coming up with not only a perfect idea for my video, but also in directing it to make sure that his vision came to life. I loved the video, and it seemed like my fans liked it enough to vote for it in at least one of the categories that I had been nominated for. I was also happy that Jonothon had won his own award for the video.
I applauded as hard as everyone around me. She had a great music video that deserved the award just as much as I felt mine did. I would have certainly rather heard them call my own name, but there would be other times and other awards shows. I knew Sarah Carerra wasn't going away soon if my fan base was any indication, which meant I would likely be back here at some point.
There was a bit of 'fluff' and another performance between the presentation for Best Female Video and Video of the Year. Emily sat by and watched as Travis Edmunds performed for us. We enjoyed what little time was left. Who knew when we would get to experience something like this again?
When it finally came time for the big award of the evening I smiled when Josh Holliday walked out on stage with Isabelle Frost, who was an actress not much older than us. Josh hadn't mentioned to me that he was a presenter this evening, so I sat forward in my chair to listen.
"The Video of the Year award culminates your favorite music video debuted over the last year," Josh said.
"Video of the Year has been awarded to some of the biggest names in the music industry," Isabelle told the crowd. "And this year we get to add one more name to that distinguished list. The nominees for Video of the Year are..."
The screens lit up once more showing clips from the music videos as they announced the names. "Katie Sperry," the voice we had been listening to all night started. "'4th of July'".
There was some applause before the clip on the screens changed to another video I had seen more than once during the evening. "Stella, 'The Deep'." After winning the award for Best Female Video, Stella was my guess for the winner of this award.
The next video made me smile. It was nice to be included at this point in the night. "Sarah Carerra, 'You Can't Hurt Me'." I sighed. I loved that video. It would have been nice to have it honored more throughout the night, but there were some amazing videos winning awards this year.
"Travis Edmunds, 'Make Some Noise'," the voice continued. Travis, who had presented my award, had also won the award for Best Male Artist. If anyone could give Stella a run for her money, it was Travis.
The screens changed once more and the song that had started the evening blared out into the crowd once again. "Allyson Sutterfield," the voice reminded us. "'Helpless'."
The screens went dark briefly before displaying the two people still waiting on stage. Isabelle reached for the microphone first.
"And the Video of the Year award goes to..." she said before opening the envelope with Josh.
Josh and Isabelle both smiled at the same time, but it was Josh who spoke. It was Josh who rattled my world to its core.
"Sarah Carerra!" he screamed excitedly into the microphone. "'You Can't Hurt Me'."
The deafening noise in the theatre fell to a murmur in my mind. My eyes caught Josh's, and I saw him mouth "you deserve it" much like I had said to him earlier this summer. Then I was blindsided by a little ball of energy as Emily wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tightly. By the time she let go the theatre was starting to go dark, but it wasn’t because of lack of oxygen.
Slowly I made my way down the aisle once more and up onto the stage. Not once had I ever thought that I could win the top honors this evening. Never had I believed that 'You Can't Hurt Me' was good enough to win Video of the Year. I had nothing prepared for this, and my mind was blank.
Once I reached the stage I was handed another statue. This one felt ten times heavier than the one that had been given to me earlier. For a moment, I thought that it was going to make me fall over. It was two more steps to the microphone, but I didn't make it there before Josh wrapped me in another hug.
"Congratulations, Sarah," he whispered before letting me go. I smiled back at him and did my best to try to figure out what to say to everyone watching me have a mental breakdown.
I stepped up to the microphone. There was still a lot of clapping and cheering in the theatre, but they quieted down almost immediately. I still didn't know what to say and looked down at the award once more.
"Wow," finally came out, mirroring my earlier comment. I looked back up at the crowd. "I was happy just winning the other one."
There was some laughter around the theatre now, which helped to bolster my nerves and give me an idea of what to say. I'd already pretty much thanked everyone for helping with the song already. But I had something else that I had to say instead.
"This song came from one of the lowest moments of my life," I told the crowd. "To go from there, all the way to the amazing feeling that is coursing through me right now, is something that I don't know how to describe. I wrote this song for myself, but it has grown so far beyond its original meaning." I held the award up for everyone to see. "I'd like to thank everyone who voted for self-esteem. I'd like to thank everybody who voted for learning how to live their own lives. I'd like to thank everyone for voting for the future. May this song remind us all that we are strong. We are capable. And we can make our own decisions."
I paused for a moment. I could already feel the tear streaking down my left cheek.
"Thank you for voting for a better life."
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
If you've read book 1 I'd love it if you shared your opinions with others. Review the Kindle version at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006IZG49M. :)
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I turned the corner just in time to see a girl punch someone in the stomach. He doubled over and I watched as the girls started laughing before turning and walking away.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.21 - Woe is Austin by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: August 13, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.21 - Woe is Austin
The next week was a mix of ups and downs. On Monday I was able to miss a couple of classes when I was invited to appear on the Tonight Show again. I also made a number of after-school appearances at other events to help promote my name and my music after winning the top award at the Video Music Awards.
But I didn't have a single performance, and that made me sad. I didn't have another performance scheduled until the concert at my school in a couple of weeks. On Thursday afternoon I started to have withdrawals, as Dad called them. I had to get my guitar out and play some songs for my family, Ethan, and Emily to get them to disappear. I had no idea what I was going to do after the school concert when I didn't have a single performance scheduled until the Christmas concert two months later! I thought I would go crazy!
School went pretty well. I saw Jared Lumbart in the halls a few times but all he did was sneer. He left me alone, and I hoped that it would stay that way. My P.E. class had pretty much accepted me for who I really was, much to Amber Hartfield's chagrin. She was still intent on the notion that I was really a boy and there was nothing that I could do to convince her otherwise. I knew that she was still planning something by the way she kept glaring at me, but nothing had happened yet. I was keeping my eye on her, though.
It was the following Monday that school turned into a nightmare once again. But this time, it wasn't my nightmare. I was walking down the hall toward my class when it happened. I turned the corner just in time to see a girl punch someone in the stomach. He doubled over and I watched as the girls started laughing before turning and walking away.
Everyone who had been watching the altercation just stared at the boy. I moved toward him. Somebody needed to make sure he was alright.
"Are you okay?" I asked, dropping to my knees next to him.
The boy groaned before he looked up at me. The horror, the pain, the heartache that rushed through my body at the sight of his face almost brought tears to my eyes.
I gasped. It was Austin!
"Megan?" he asked, unsure if I was really there.
"What happened?" I asked, and then I pulled him into a hug before he could even respond. There were some gasps from some of the boys around us at my reaction, and I saw some envy in the eyes of the girls as I scanned the crowd for answers. None were forthcoming.
"I don't know," Austin croaked, and I could see that he was close to tears. I half expected him to push me away. I knew that he didn't want to look weak in front of the mostly freshman group that was watching us. "She just punched me!"
He honestly didn't seem to know, but when he looked up at me all I could see was a black eye that was already starting to form. That girl had more than punched him just once in the stomach. She had beaten him for some reason.
"Come on," I said while lifting him to his feet. "Let's get you to the nurse."
Austin sighed, but he didn't argue. He was in pain and he knew that he was going to need some type of attention. I reached back down and grabbed his bag before wrapping my arm around his waist. That got another gasp from some of the boys nearby. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with them.
Austin limped for a few steps before he stopped and doubled over for a moment in pain. When it passed we started forward again. He was leaning on me heavily and I hoped that he hadn't been hurt badly. The eyes of his classmates watched us until we turned a corner, and I still couldn't figure out why they were staring.
"If nothing else I'm getting some good street cred," Austin finally joked as we continued walking. I smiled to hear some of his witty personality breaking through the pain. He was starting to walk with less assistance now, and I hoped that the worst was already over.
We walked in silence for a bit longer before he spoke again.
"All those guys are going to be jealous, you know," he said, turning to look at me for a moment.
"Why?" I asked. I couldn't understand why anyone would be jealous of someone who had just been beaten up.
"Because you were doting on me," he replied, a wry smile told me that it was funny to him. "They think you are the hottest girl in school, you know."
I choked, and stopped walking. "What?!"
Austin was laughing now, though it looked like the motion was causing him some pain. "Yeah," he said once he had calmed down. "They pretty much idolize you. I know some of them hope you'll go to a dance with them."
I couldn't understand what I was hearing, and I started laughing. "But don't they know..." I asked. I was unable to finish the sentence though.
"No," he replied. I didn't have to tell him what I was asking about. "And you have to admit, nobody would ever guess that you weren't always a girl. You're too pretty."
I laughed, partially to hide my discomfort but mostly because my brother called me pretty. He'd done it before, and some of his friends had certainly had their eyes on me. But he was telling me that there was a whole subset of students at this school who had no idea I hadn't always attended classes as Megan. That was positive news, even if it had come at the cost of his beating.
"Okay," I said. "But don't they know I'm your sister?"
"Some of them," he replied. "But I haven't told many people. I told them we knew each other and that has caused some people to like me. But most of them don't know we're related."
I laughed again. Austin was a smart kid. He was riding the Megan Campbell popularity train that seemed to be occurring in the freshman year. I was happy to hear that something positive had come out of all the turmoil the past year had brought me. If my pain and suffering had brought some good to Austin's life, then it was all worthwhile.
"Come on," I said while lightly pushing him forward. "You still need to see the nurse."
He nodded, and we moved forward again. But it was only a few steps before we were both laughing our heads off.
Austin had just been unlucky, according to the principal. The girl who had punched him had been dared to punch the next freshman boy she came across by her friends. At least, that was her story. The girl was a sophomore and didn't even know Austin's name. She had just come up, swung at his head where she connected with his eye before also punching him in the stomach, which is what I had seen when I came around the corner. She and her friends had been suspended, but Austin didn't want to press charges.
Austin seemed to be okay with the outcome. The nurse gave him a clean bill of health other than some bruising, and he had this perverse belief that he had come out on top in the ordeal because of all the attention I had given him in front of his peers. I wasn't happy with the outcome, but it wasn't my decision to press charges. It was nice to know my parents felt the same way I did, but they had left the decision up to him.
I was worried about him the next day. I checked on him a couple of times between classes and even gave him a couple of hugs and kissed him on the cheek once. That seemed to go over well with his peers, and I was always happy to show him how much I loved him.
He had been in good spirits when I left him to go to Chorus, but when he showed up at my car after school for a ride home he was sad and despondent. He told me that nothing had happened to him, but I knew he was lying. He refused to talk about it, though.
When we walked in the door at home I was going to recruit my mom to try to find out what had happened, but instead I found Mom, Dad, and Amy sitting around the kitchen table waiting for me.
"Hello," I greeted them, curious about what was going on.
"Hi, Megan!" Amy greeted me. I didn't spend very much time around her without the wig on so the novelty of seeing me without it was still something that made her smile. My parents also greeted me.
"What's going on?" I had to ask when nobody started to explain what was happening.
"The American Music Award nominees were announced today," Dad finally said.
I felt my breath catch in my throat and my heart started to race at his words! It had only been a week since I had won my first awards, and now it seemed that I might be nominated for some more!
"And?" I asked excitedly.
"You've been nominated for four awards," Dad replied excitedly. "Favorite Pop/Rock Album, Favorite Pop/Rock Female Artist, New Artist of the Year, and Artist of the Year."
My eyes widened, and I found myself taking a deep breath! I could understand being nominated for New Artist of the Year. I could even possibly understand being nominated for the Pop/Rock categories. But it still seemed so unlikely that I could be nominated for Artist of the Year already. But after the events of the VMAs I had to wonder if there wasn't some possibility that I could win the big award once more.
My dad handed me a paper that showed my competition in each category, and I couldn't understand how my name could be listed with so many big names in the music industry. I knew I had some good songs. 'You Can't Hurt Me' had just topped the VMAs. But those awards were for a single song. These awards were about much more.
"Congratulations, Princess," Dad said before he hugged me. My mom was next, and then Amy. Even Austin gave me a hug, which reminded me of his attitude before we had entered the house. I could tell that he was happy for me, but I could also see something else in his eyes when we broke apart. Something sad.
"Thanks," I replied automatically. Then I opened my mouth once more to ask Austin what was wrong. But the words didn't come. He saw me though, and he subtly shook his head. Whatever it was he didn't want to talk about it.
Mom didn't miss our exchange, however. Something had clued her in, and she voiced a question that made Austin cringe.
"How did tryouts for the soccer team go, Austin?" she asked.
I was still looking into Austin's eyes as she spoke, and I almost broke into tears at the hurt that he displayed for the briefest of moments before he caught himself and turned to our parents.
"I didn't make the team," he said in a downcast tone.
I had forgotten that today was the day that Austin was trying out for the Freshman JV team at our school. I had watched enough of his games to believe that he would make the team. I couldn't comprehend how this could have happened.
"I'm sorry," I said immediately, voicing all of my frustrations as I wrapped him in a hug. He burst into tears immediately. I was sorry he hadn't made the team. I was sorry that I had just taken all of the attention from our parents when he had something like this to deal with. This was the second event in as many days that had brought him to tears, and there was nothing I could do to fix it.
I held him as long as he let me, and eventually he left me for Mom's arms where he stayed even longer. All thoughts of my nominations were forgotten as he cried.
The next two days were uneventful, except for the number of times that I caught Austin crying at home. He always stopped when I walked in the room, but I knew he hated life at the moment. I wished there was something that I could do to help, but now that the initial burst of tears was over he didn't want me to help in any way. He didn't want me to make it better. Even worse, he didn’t think I could make it better.
I kept an eye on him at school more than usual. He didn’t know I was watching, but I changed the way I walked to my classes to allow me to pass by him in the halls. He always smiled when he saw me, and I smiled back. I hoped that it was helping. It seemed to be.
I was passing him on the way to Chorus Friday afternoon when my heart burst. I found him talking to Susan, his girlfriend, and another boy in one of the halls.
He was crying.
I stopped, close enough to hear, but far enough away that he hadn't noticed me.
"I'm sorry, Austin," I heard Susan say. I sighed. I knew what she was doing now, and it was the last thing that Austin needed right now.
Austin didn't say anything, but I could tell he wanted to. I hadn't seen him this upset in a long time. Susan stood there, waiting for a response. When she realized that one wasn't coming, she sighed.
"Let's go, Sam," she eventually said. She then turned and pulled the boy down the hall away from me while leaving Austin standing there in a daze.
I watched another tear stream down his cheek before he started to look around. When his eyes landed on me he burst into tears. I was at his side immediately, my arms around him. Some of the other students were staring at us, and I knew that Austin wouldn't want them to see him like this.
"Come on," I told him and directed him toward the door that would lead us to the parking lot. He didn't resist at all and it didn't take much work to get him into the front seat of my car. A couple of minutes later we were leaving the parking lot. Chorus was the last thing on my mind.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him while he was chewing. He shook his head.
After leaving the school I had done the only thing I could think of to get his mind off of Susan. I had taken him to Alfredo's, his favorite restaurant. But it wasn't working. Austin hadn't said more than ten words to me since I had pulled him out of the doors of the school. I watched helplessly as he continued to replay the events in his head before sobbing once again. I wished there was something more that I could do for him.
"Sam's been trying to steal her from me since the very beginning," he finally blurted amidst more sobs. I nodded back at him while remembering a conversation we'd had in Cleveland over the summer where he had voiced that concern to me. "I loved her, Megan! How could she do this to me?"
"I don't know, Austin," I replied and placed my hand on top of his. "I don't know."
"But you're a girl!" he accused me. "Tell me how she could do this to me!"
I sighed, but looked him in the eyes. He was starting to break my own heart now.
"I honestly wish I knew, Austin," I said. "But I can't imagine ever hurting someone like she did. I don't understand how anybody could be that cruel."
Tears fell down his cheeks once more, but I saw him nod slowly. He wanted answers, yet I had none to give. My only experience with anything remotely like this was with Josh Holliday. He had hurt me deeply, but my pain had never been as great as what I could see in Austin. I knew that time would heal his pain, but that wouldn’t help him now.
We continued to eat, mostly in silence. I tried to help him as much as I could, but I was sure I wasn't doing enough.
Mom and I spent the night consoling Austin as much as we could. We watched some movies that he wanted to see. We fed him anything he wanted to eat. We did anything we could to ease his pain. Susan had only been his girlfriend for about four months, but by the way he was acting it almost felt like they had been married.
My dreams that night were tinged with the heartache and pain that I had witnessed over the last week. I woke up feeling depressed, wishing that there was something I could do to make Austin feel better.
My appointment with Mary on Saturday morning shed some light on things I could do to help him. I was willing to try anything at this point, but when I got back home Austin was gone. My dad had taken him out, and I had a feeling that Dad could help him more than I could right now. Austin had said it himself: I was a girl. I couldn't help him the way I could have if I really had been his older brother. I didn't know how to help him that way.
But I did know one thing that I could do. Something had been stirring in me since I had awakened this morning. It was something that I needed to do. It was something I couldn't do at home, where Austin might return at any moment.
I was at home only long enough to put on my wig, grab Sarah's guitar, and return to my car. Then it was only a short drive to my destination. The parking lot was mostly empty today. I knew a few people would be working, but as I pulled into my parking spot and entered Dad's office building I hoped that nobody was around.
Lucy wasn't at the reception desk, but the door into my area of the building was unlocked. When I entered I found a couple of people working at desks in the front area.
"Hi, Connie," I greeted. "Hi, Laura."
"Hi, Sarah," Connie and Laura replied. I wasn't exactly sure what either of them did for me, but I had made sure to learn the names of everyone working in these offices. "We didn't expect to see you this morning."
I lifted my guitar. "I need a quiet place to work on a song," I told them. "Will I disturb you guys if I do?"
"No," Laura told me, smiling.
"Okay," I replied. "I'll keep the door closed then to make sure."
"You don't have to," Connie said with a smile.
I smiled back and then headed down the hallway toward my office. I unlocked the door and entered the quiet room. I was about to shut the door when Connie's smile entered my head again, so I left it open. I walked over to the soft chair that looked out the window. I could see the ocean past the parking lot, and I was excited. I had purchased this chair after Dad had shown me the office for this specific reason.
I spent the next few hours in that room, lost in my own world. I poured my heart into that song. I poured my love for Austin. I poured my desire to tell him how much potential he has, how much he would be able to do in his lifetime.
He might not be enjoying life right now, but this was only a small portion of his life.
"Austin," I voiced after playing through the completed song one last time. "'Your Time Will Come.'"
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Once everyone realized that I was in charge of inviting people to the Star Party for the school concert, they had suddenly become my best friends. As if I wouldn't be able to tell what they were doing. I wasn't dumb enough to give them a backstage pass just because they suddenly were nice to me.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.22 - V.I.P. on Campus by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: August 20, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.22 - V.I.P. on Campus
The rest of the weekend was a mix of joy and sadness at the same time. I was anxious to share the song I had written with Austin, but I couldn't do that until I met with the band to help me finish it. All weekend I had to watch him mope around the house when I knew I had something that might cheer him up.
On the positive side both 'You Can't Hurt Me' and 'Ever After' were still in the top 10 songs over the weekend. 'You Can't Hurt Me' was still falling, although slowly. It was losing a spot every week and came in at #8 on the countdown. 'Ever After' had continued to rise and was now sitting at #2! I really hoped that it would make the leap to the #1 spot next week. Having it on top would definitely excite Emily. She deserved it.
On Monday morning I did have one thing I could try to cause Austin to smile once again. Initially he looked confused when I handed him a stack of backstage passes to the Sarah Carerra concert we would be performing at the school later this week.
"What are these for?" he asked me.
"These are backstage passes for the school concert," I told him. "I have 60 passes that I need to pass out today, and I want you to pass out 20 of them."
He stared at the passes for a moment as he realized what that meant. Then I was rewarded with a huge smile that I was hoping for as he looked up at me.
"Are you serious?" he asked, excitement overcoming his sadness.
"I'm serious," I replied, returning his smile. "Pick the 20 people whom you know who you want to be there or who you think most deserve it. Just make sure that you write down their names on the paper on top so we have a record of whom we gave them to, okay?"
"Okay," he said and I saw his mind start cranking away on who he wanted to invite to the party of the century as far as our schoolmates were concerned.
When we arrived at the school Austin jumped out of my car almost before I had come to a stop. I had to laugh at his enthusiasm, and I hoped that, if nothing else, it would distract him from how bad he'd been feeling all weekend.
"What's up with him?" Emily asked as she climbed out of my car.
"I gave him some backstage passes to give away," I told her. She started nodding, understanding what that meant.
"Do we get some?" Ethan asked.
"Obviously you have backstage passes," I informed them, wondering how he could even think otherwise.
"I meant do we get to pass some out?" he clarified.
"I have 40 that I need to pass out," I told him. "I figured you two could help me decide who to give them to. Any suggestions?"
"Jane, Kathy, and Ashley, obviously," Emily started.
"Obviously," I shot back and opened my bag to show her that their names were already printed on the top three passes. "Who else?"
We continued to discuss whom we thought deserved the passes as we walked to class. We started to gain a small following as people overheard us, and I knew that it wouldn't be long before the whole school knew what we were up to. It was going to be a long day.
I sighed as I collapsed onto the bench in front of my locker in the P.E. locker room. Once everyone realized that I was in charge of inviting people to the Star Party for the school concert, they had suddenly become my best friends. As if I wouldn't be able to tell what they were doing. I wasn't dumb enough to give them a backstage pass just because they suddenly were nice to me.
"That bad, huh?" Emily asked from where she was already getting ready for class.
"I always thought that people went nuts backstage when they get to meet Sarah," I replied. "But they can get downright catty when it comes to GETTING backstage passes. I've seen completely new sides to people I thought I already knew."
Emily rolled her eyes and nodded her head in understanding. She had seen how some of my fans acted when it involved a chance to meet me. This wasn't any different, except that this time I knew most of the individuals.
"So you are really in charge of handing out backstage passes?" Liz, one of the girls we shared the row of lockers with, asked.
"Yes," I told her. She had just reminded me that she was on my list. "And in fact, I have something for you. Both of you," I amended and smiled at Rebekah, the other girl. The two of them had become two of my best friends in P.E. Most of the class were still a little distant from me even though they had started to accept who I really was. But these two had taken the time to actually be nice to me while we changed and throughout the class.
The eyes of the two girls opened wide immediately and their excitement started to grow quickly as I pulled out two of the backstage passes, wrote their names on the passes before writing their names on the master list of everyone I had given a pass to. Then I handed each of them their pass.
"Sarah would love to have you join her backstage for a party after the concert," I told each of them, causing them to shriek excitedly. I immediately closed my bag and shoved it in my locker. Seconds later other girls from the class started to come down to our row, and I knew they would be looking for similar treatment.
Instead, I started changing. We still had a class to get ready for.
Filling my tray with food at lunch time was almost impossible. Everyone in the school was now aware of what I was doing today and I was hounded at every single step I made as I walked between classes. The lunch room was no different, and students, some whom I didn't even know, kept stepping in my way and prevented me from getting to the food as they pled their case. All of them left empty-handed.
I had received permission from Principal Hall to let Austin and me distribute most of the passes during one of the afternoon classes, so even the students who were going to receive a pass later in the day left empty-handed after talking to me. I had instructed Austin to do the same for anyone who wasn't a close friend to help keep people from getting out of hand. I'd been checking up on Austin throughout the day like I had been doing since he had been beaten up, and so far he hadn't had any problems either. I only hoped that luck would last through the rest of the day.
Eventually I made it to the table where my friends were already sitting. Some of them were amazed at how many people were following me around, but I was starting to learn how to ignore the clamoring as much as possible as I went about my business. They could hate me all they wanted because at the end of the day only my true friends were going to get a pass to my big party.
"Don't worry," I said before anyone could say anything. "I have one for each of you."
All of them smiled immediately, and it also cleared the air at the table. I knew that they were all anxious to learn if they would be invited, and now they had their answer. However, if I pulled the passes out of my bag with so many people around, a riot could ensue. They would receive their passes this afternoon like most of the other lucky students.
"If nothing else, everyone knows your name now," Ethan said, which caused me to laugh. The attention I was getting today was not exactly the type of attention I wanted, but it certainly beat the attention that I sometimes received from some of my fellow students.
"The question is whether or not they hate me after today," I replied.
"I think most of them will be nice to you," Jane replied. "They now know that you have big connections to Sarah, and they won't want to jeopardize their chances to get something from you later."
"You might be right," I told her. "But that won't make my day any easier."
"Don't think about the ones who are going to be upset," Emily said. "Think about all of the people whom you are going to make really happy today. Focus on them and ignore the rest."
I paused and stared at Emily as I thought about what she had said. That sounded like a great idea. I had been so worried about all of the people who were going to be mad, but I should be thinking about people like Liz and Rebekah. They had been so excited for the chance to meet Sarah. This was the first time that I had full control over who would be at the Star Party. This was the first time that I exclusively chose who would meet Sarah. And I had a responsibility to myself to make sure that I picked the right people. I had a responsibility to make sure that it was going to be the best party ever. Inviting people like Liz and Rebekah would help to fulfill that responsibility, and we would have a blast at the same time.
I nodded to Emily. She was right. I wasn't going to worry about those individuals who didn't get an invitation. Instead I would focus on the positive side of making this list.
"Uh oh," Ethan said, breaking my new promise as Ethan watched someone approaching. I followed his gaze, and frowned. How was I supposed to focus on the positive aspects of making a backstage list if I had to deal with someone like Johnny Crawford?
Johnny sauntered up to the table, and I knew immediately what he wanted. Johnny and I had a very rocky relationship, to say the least. Johnny was Scott's son, and he had tried to use his dad's connection as my representative from Olympic Records and as my producer to further his own agenda. He had a crush on Sarah, but there was no way that I would ever let him get close to her. He had been told by both his father and my own father that he needed to stay away from her.
"No, Johnny," I told him before he said anything. "You know that you aren't invited backstage. I'm not going to give you a pass."
Immediately his stance shifted and I knew I had upset him already. But I didn't care. I'd dealt with him enough times to know that I didn't want anything to do with him.
"Come on, Megan," he said in a much nicer tone than I expected. "What's the harm? There are going to be lots of people there; she won't mind."
"I was given specific instructions by Sarah not to give you a pass," I explained. "I'm not going to give you one."
Johnny started to turn slightly red with anger. I started to worry. The last time I had seen Johnny mad like this he had almost been arrested when he hit the police officer who was dragging him away from the table where I was signing autographs at my album release. I'd been avoiding him ever since and this was only the second time that we had talked since then. I had managed to avoid him completely as Megan since the school year ended, but now I was worried about what he would do next.
Before I even knew what he was doing he reached out and grabbed my bag from where I had set it next to me on the bench.
"Hey!” I screamed and tried to grab it back. But he was too strong and he yanked it out of my hands. He retreated a few steps, and I jumped up to go after him. "Stop now, Johnny, or I'll make sure you are banned from the concert!"
"You can't do that!" he yelled back, unzipping the top of my bag and reaching in. He found the stack of passes held together by a rubber band immediately, and pulled it out.
"Last chance, Johnny!" I yelled as he started to pull one of the passes out of the stack. "Give them back to me or you will never be allowed at a Sarah Carerra event again!"
The whole cafeteria was watching our exchange now. There were many witnesses to what happened next, but even if every single one of them signed an affidavit about what they saw I still wouldn’t have believed it.
Out of nowhere a large hand slammed down onto Johnny's shoulder, holding him in place as the giant's other hand grabbed the stack of passes from him.
"The lady said no!" he forcefully told Johnny. "Do you have a hearing problem?"
"N..No," Johnny stammered, and I had never seen him so scared before. I would have reveled in the fear that was crossing Johnny's face if I hadn't been just as terrified myself.
"Now apologize," my rescuer said and roughly shoved Johnny forward toward me.
"I'm sorry, Megan," escaped Johnny quickly. I knew he didn't mean it. He was scared to death. But if it meant that I got the passes safely back in my hands, I would accept it.
I nodded, and the hand clamped on Johnny's shoulder released him. Johnny took off immediately, but my eyes never left the person who had just intervened. He picked up my bag that Johnny had dropped and then stepped toward me, holding both the bag and the passes out to me.
"Here," he said. It wasn't exactly in a nice tone of voice, but it was better than what I was used to hearing from him.
"Thanks, Jared," I replied, taking the items from him. Jared Lumbart was the last person that I expected to come to my defense! He had been nothing but mean to me since the first time that Megan had set foot in this school. I couldn't even comprehend why he would step up and do what he had done. It didn't make any sense to me.
"This doesn't mean we're friends," he growled back before he turned and returned to the table he had been sitting at. I just watched for a moment before I was able to return the passes to the safety of my bag and return to my own table.
I spent the rest of the lunch period staring at my food in incomprehension, unable to eat.
"Do you have all of the names?" I asked Austin. He nodded and handed me the list he had filled out. Some of the names on the list were his friends, but there were others whose names I didn’t recognize. I handed the list over to the secretary in the main office of the school, who began looking up which class each of them was in. She had already gone through my own list while we waited for my brother to arrive.
It was about five minutes later that she had the list filled out and wished us luck. Austin and I then left the office for our mission. We had 49 of the 60 passes to pass out during this period.
We started spreading good cheer in the freshman classes. I watched from the doorway as Austin entered each of the classes. Principal Hall had made an announcement that we were coming by to hand out the passes, so each of the students were mesmerized immediately when we walked into the classrooms. Anticipation was rampant as Austin moved through each room. Groans of disappointment were drowned by the excited shrieks of the people he handed passes to. I smiled as I watched their reactions. Austin even got a few kisses on the cheek from some very good looking freshmen girls when he handed them a pass.
Then we moved on to the other classes. I had the privilege of seeing the reaction from nearly every single individual who had been invited to the Star Party when they received their backstage pass. I normally didn't get to see these types of reactions, and I was overwhelmed by the emotions that some of them displayed.
It had been over three weeks since my last concert, and I had almost forgotten how excited my fans could be at the prospect of meeting me. I still didn't understand why they felt that way about meeting Sarah. I hadn't done anything special. I had written and sung a few songs, but I still didn't feel like I had done anything to deserve the responses I received from my fans. Some of my schoolmates were in tears as I handed them their passes.
When we reached the final classroom, I took a deep breath. I had three passes left to distribute, and on the other side of the door were one of my first and one of my last decisions for receiving a pass. The two individuals who would be receiving the passes were nearly as opposite as two people could be. But I wanted both of them there, even if it was for entirely different reasons.
I opened the door, and Austin followed me inside. The class fell into silence almost immediately as the teacher stopped talking and the students gave me their rapt attention. I scanned the classroom until I found the two students I was looking for.
I started walking toward the first almost immediately. As I approached I saw her smile. Everyone knew she was one of my friends, so it wasn't much of a surprise when I handed a pass to Jane.
"Thank you, Megan," she told me.
"It's my pleasure," I told her. Then I turned to walk toward the other student. Everyone in the classroom could see that I still had two passes in my hands, and as I passed each of them they tensed up and then softly groaned as I passed them. Except for the one I was approaching. He started to look uncomfortable almost immediately, and he slightly turned away from me as I got closer.
"These are for you," I told Jared Lumbart while placing both of the remaining passes down on his desk, causing many of the people in the class to gasp. "I want you to bring somebody special with you. And thank you, Jared."
I smiled, and he scowled back at me. He wasn't happy with what I was doing, but the thin curl of his mouth told me that he wanted the passes. Jared and I had a rocky past, but perhaps we could now put it behind us.
"This doesn't mean we're friends," he echoed his sentiment from lunch.
"I know," I told him. "But that doesn't mean that I don't want you there. Enjoy them."
He nodded, and I turned around. I was smiling as I walked toward the door.
Austin was shocked as I approached him, but I knew one thing for certain as he turned and opened the door to let me out.
This was going to be the most interesting Star Party ever.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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After marking down attendance for the day Mr. Benson turned my life upside down. He did the one thing that he agreed he wouldn't do in this class.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.23 - The Death of Insanity by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: August 27, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.23 - The Death of Insanity
Walking around the school's halls on Tuesday was a much better experience. Most of the students left me alone because they knew that the backstage passes had been handed out. The few who kept pestering me for a pass were annoying, but easily ignored. Eventually they realized that I wasn't handing out any more passes, and finally they began to leave me alone.
In fact, school was actually fairly calm despite the fact that I would be performing a concert here in two days’ time. There were posters of Sarah all over the walls, and there was a buzz among the students, but for the most part it was a normal day.
At least, until my last class of the afternoon. Chorus had been the one class that I hated to attend. Every single day I worried about someone finding out my secret. Every day I worried that I would have to do something I didn't want to do.
Mr. Benson was excited again as I entered the room, which put me on edge immediately. When he was buzzing like this it usually meant bad things for me. I wished that I could just drop the class from my schedule. It would make my life much easier if I did.
After marking down attendance for the day Mr. Benson turned my life upside down. He did the one thing that he agreed he wouldn't do in this class.
"I'm adding another song to our Halloween performance," Mr. Benson announced. Dread filled me immediately. "If we are going to be performing with Sarah for Christmas it would be beneficial for us to learn some of her songs."
I was stunned! I shot daggers at Mr. Benson with my eyes as I felt my breathing deepen, my face heated up, and I did my best to hold back my anger. Sarah's songs were off limits for this class as long as I was a chorus member! We had agreed on that fact. But now he was changing that agreement, and I was NOT okay with what he was doing! He purposely avoided my gaze as he described the addition to our performance. He wanted the chorus to sing 'You Can't Hurt Me' for the school, and while I agreed it could be adapted easily, I wanted nothing to do with the performance!
"Can I talk to you in private for a moment?" I asked Mr. Benson when he paused his explanation.
"Not right now, Megan," he said, stirring the embers of my ire. "We have a lot to do today if we are going to be ready for the performance next week."
He then started to continue his explanation of what he was hoping for from the song. I stood up, which caused him to stop talking.
"Now!" I said as forcefully as I could and pointed at the small office connected to the chorus room. In effect, I had given Mr. Benson an order. He sighed, but started walking toward the door. I followed behind him and once I was inside the office I closed the door behind me and then lowered the blinds on the window that looked out on the chorus room. I knew from experience that the students in the class would not be able to hear us while we were in here.
"Megan--" Mr. Benson started, but I didn't let him continue.
"We had a deal!" I nearly yelled at him. "Nothing that would expose my secret! Do you remember that?"
"This won't expose your secret!" He shot back. "We're singing the song as a chorus. This isn't a solo piece for you. The class won't make the connection!"
"No!" I exclaimed. "We are NOT singing that song while I am in this class! Did you even get permission to use it for the performance?"
"Of course I did," he told me, and I suspected that he was telling me the truth. Somebody in my office had likely given the okay because they knew that Sarah was performing with his chorus group later this year. It wouldn't have been a problem if I was willing to sing the song with the class.
But I wasn't.
"Look," he continued. "I understand your concern. I do. But if we are going to be singing with Sarah then we need to learn some of her songs to help prepare us."
"Why?" I shot back. "We aren't going to be singing any of them at the Christmas concert. Why would we need to sing them?"
"Because..." he said before he stopped. He thought for a moment. "Because it will help us to perform with you better. It will bring the class closer to you so that they will be able to complement your voice better."
That was bogus, and I didn’t buy it. I could see how he would want to use Sarah to help elevate the class, but I didn't believe it was necessary.
"I'm not singing any of my songs in this class, Mr. Benson," I declared. "Especially two days before my concert! If you insist on including them or any other song that could expose Sarah's true identity, then I am leaving this class."
I was worried immediately about how he would take that threat, but I didn't let it show. Mr. Benson hadn't signed a non-disclosure agreement, and angering him could be very bad for my career. If he leaked my real identity to the press it could ruin Sarah Carerra. I did not know how my fans would react to the deception, even if it was to allow me a better quality of life. But it was a risk I was going to have to take right now, because he was trying to get me to do things that were totally off limits. I had to assert my dominance in this relationship or he was going to believe that he had the right to control aspects of our performance together. And that was not the case.
Mr. Benson sighed. Then he took away the one advantage I thought he had over me.
"Megan, your lawyer required me to sign the non-disclosure agreement when I asked for permission to use the song," he told me, taking away the one position of advantage he had over me. "I would never intentionally disclose your secret to anyone. Singing a few of Sarah's songs as part of a group is not going to expose you."
"Mr. Benson," I said coldly. My worry had evaporated, and I knew I had the upper ground now. "This is not a negotiation. I am telling you what your chorus is going to do if you want me to stay in this class. Do you understand?"
"No, Megan, I don't," he replied. "This is MY class. You are MY student. You cannot tell me what I can and cannot do."
"Yes, Mr. Benson, I can," I shot back. "Sarah does not need to perform with your chorus. There are plenty of other schools around here that would love the chance to perform with her. I'm sure I could find someone else to join me on stage for the Christmas concert if I need to."
"You can't do that!" he yelled. "We had an agreement! This chorus gets to perform with Sarah! What you are doing is coercion and I won't be a part of it!"
"Fine!" I yelled back. "Those are my terms! Take it or leave it!"
Mr. Benson stood there, staring at me. I could see the anger in his eyes. I could hear the soft grinding of his teeth. He was not happy with me, and I was not happy with him. This whole chorus thing had been a bad idea from the start. I never wanted to be in his class. I didn't want to do this anymore! It was too stressful! It was too likely to expose my secret!
"Megan," Mr. Benson finally said in a softer voice. "The class needs this. They want to sing Sarah's songs. They want to feel like they are a part of her world. I'm doing this for them. I'm not trying to expose Sarah's identity. I promise."
It was my turn to be silent as I considered his words. He was right. I knew that. He wasn't trying to ruin my life. But that didn't mean that his actions wouldn't lead to the secret being revealed.
"I know," I replied a moment later. "It would be best for the class. But I told you the truth. I cannot sing one of my own songs in this classroom. I just can't. I think that it is time that I dropped out of the class. It would be the best solution. You get the chance to bring Sarah into the class and I get to be free of all the stress this stupid class gives me. Okay?"
"No," he said immediately. "I want you in this class, Megan. You can do a lot to help those students. I need you."
"No," I replied. "You don't need me, Mr. Benson. You are a good teacher. You have a good group of students out there. You will do just fine without me."
"Please, Megan," he pleaded.
"No," I reiterated. "I want Sarah to sing with this chorus. I want your class to perform with me. But I think this is the only way that is going to happen. I can't stay any longer."
We stood in silence for a moment before he finally nodded.
Without another word I turned and opened the door back into the classroom and walked over to where my bag was, between my friends.
"I'm sorry," I told them before I picked up my bag and left the classroom.
"And so you just quit?!" Ethan nearly yelled at me.
"I had to, Ethan," I replied, but that didn't make him feel any better. I knew that the only reason he was in Chorus was because of me, and now I had abandoned him. Paul and Jane were also cornering me as I waited for Emily and Austin to arrive at my car so we could go home. They too were not happy with me. I pointed at Jane. "I thought you'd be happy!"
"That's beside the point!" she retorted. "Being made the top girl in the class isn't the same without you!"
"I'm sorry," I said, admonished. "But it was something I had to do," I repeated. "I can't be in that class anymore. It's too dangerous."
"Why?" Jane shot back immediately. "What could have possibly changed to make you feel that way? Are you too good to sing Sarah's songs?"
I sighed, holding back the words that I knew I wanted to, but couldn't, say. Ethan and Paul knew my secret, but Jane didn't. And this was not a good time to tell her about Sarah. She was too upset to handle the news properly.
"Are you sure this was the only way?" Ethan asked. "I mean, there had to be something that you and Mr. Benson could have worked out."
"I'm sure," I told him truthfully. "This is the best way to prepare the class for the concert with Sarah. I would just hinder that progress if I stayed in the class."
"How?" Jane asked, frustration evident in her voice. "Why?"
She wanted answers, and I couldn't give them to her.
"It just is, Jane," I said. "Trust me."
"Trust you?!" she screamed back. "You're the one who told me to sing! You told me to go for it! How can you give up like this?!"
"I'm not giving up!" I yelled back. "This is completely different!"
"How?!" she asked again. "How is it different?!"
"It just is!" I screamed.
"Okay," Ethan said while stepping between us. "Jane, she's telling the truth. This is different. And Megan, quit yelling. I understand why you left. I'm not happy about it, but that doesn't give you the right to yell at us, okay?"
I stood there, smoldering. I could feel the tears sliding down my cheeks and I just wanted to go home. This was the worst thing that could have happened today! I had been so excited about getting to perform another concert, and then Mr. Benson had to go and ruin everything! He had promised me that he wouldn't, but he had done it anyway.
I didn't say anything else. I just opened the door to my car, got in, and then locked the doors. They could all wait outside until it was time to go home. I didn't want to talk to them anymore.
I still felt like crap when I pulled my car into my parking space outside my new office. I wanted to go home, lock myself in my room, and forget about the world. But I was supposed to meet the band to finish Austin's song this afternoon, and I knew that I couldn't cancel on them.
Lucy smiled at me as I stepped into the lobby. I smiled back, even if I didn't feel it. There were a couple of girls standing at her desk, waiting for someone. They screamed when they saw me, but I just waved and entered my offices. I wasn't in the mood to deal with fans.
I greeted all the people who were working as I walked through the large open office area inside the door and as I walked down the hall. The door to the sound studio was closed, but I could hear the band warming up on the other side. I left them alone and continued down to another office first.
The door was open, and I found my attorney, Josh Carlson, inside his office, working. He looked up at me immediately.
"Hi, Sarah," he said with a smile. "Can I help you with something?"
I stepped inside, placed my guitar down on the floor, and then closed his door behind me.
"Thank you for getting Mr. Benson to sign a non-disclosure agreement," I told him.
He nodded, but he grimaced at the same time.
"Has he done something?" Josh asked. As Sarah's lawyer, Josh was one of the few individuals in this building who knew the truth about me. I had never met him without the wig on, but he knew that I was really Don's daughter. He knew I was Megan. He also knew what my relationship with Mr. Benson was.
"He broke a verbal agreement we had," I told him while taking a seat across from him. "But nothing we need to worry about. I was worried about arguing with him until he told me he had signed an agreement."
"What happened?" Josh asked, worried that there might be legal concerns despite my assurances otherwise.
"He wants to sing Sarah Carerra songs in the Chorus. I did not," I replied. "I dropped Chorus today, and he wasn't very happy about it."
"Do we need to worry?" Josh asked.
"I don't think so," I told him. "He wasn't happy, but I think we both agreed that this was the best course of action for the future. I just wanted to tell you and thank you. I was really scared about what would happen if I angered him. I'm glad you were able to get him to sign."
"It's what I'm here for," he said, smiling.
I laughed, feeling better for the first time since Chorus.
My day improved after the meeting with Josh. I spent most of the evening with my band working on finishing 'Your Time Will Come'. Spending time with friends who weren't mad at me was exactly what I needed. We were working on a song that talked all about persevering and looking forward to the good that was just around the corner. I had written the song for Austin, but as I sang through the song while we added the different instruments and vocals to what I had written earlier, it touched me in the same way I had hoped to touch him.
I knew that trying to live a double life wasn't going to be easy. This wasn't the first time that it had come between my friends and me. This probably wouldn't be the last.
I still believed that leaving Chorus was the right thing to do. Jane deserved to be featured in that class. She was an amazing singer, and I did not need the extra attention. Mr. Benson would be able to use my songs to help teach them and prepare them for our concert together.
Yes, they would be singing without me, and I knew that each of them were mad that I had left.
But leaving was the best thing that I could do for them.
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"The Starshine meeting should be starting in about 10 minutes," she told me. "I just wanted to let you know so you could get ready."
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.24 - Show and Tell by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: September 3, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.24 - Show and Tell
I received another shock Wednesday morning when it was announced that Starlight Cosmetics would have a booth set up outside the cafeteria at lunch. They were looking for the girls who would join me at tomorrow's Starshine meeting. I had no idea that they were going to hold a contest at my school, and I started to worry about who they would select. I did not want any of the students who had been mean to me to make it backstage, but now there was a chance that anyone could be selected. I was not happy.
A booth had been set up at lunch, and the large crowd of teenage girls surrounding it told me that it was a good marketing opportunity for the company. But I knew I had to question who would be invited to attend. Most of the girls who were in line for their chance to sign up were the girls that were least likely to need the makeup help. Only a few of the girls I could see were the ones I would have invited myself.
I sighed, and continued into the cafeteria. I wasn't sure what I should do.
I worried throughout lunch. My friends didn't help either, because they were still mad at me. Even though they weren't yelling any more there was still too much tension in the air for my liking.
After I finished eating I decided to return to the booth. The group of girls surrounding it was still as large as it was earlier, and it still looked like most of them were cheerleaders or part of the popular crowd. I knew I wasn't going to like the result.
I walked toward the front of the booth and then around the back to where two young women in their early twenties were interviewing girls for the chance to participate in the Starshine meeting. It looked like they were in charge of selecting ten girls from the many who had applied. I stepped between them and picked up a piece of paper that had the finalists listed on it. It was as I feared - I did not like what I saw.
"Can I help you?" one of the women asked. She did not look happy about what I was doing.
"I thought the Starshine meeting was to help instruct girls and show them how to bring out their inner beauty," I said. "This is a list of girls who are well-versed in makeup techniques and who are very popular. This is not a list Sarah would approve of."
"That is none of your concern!" the woman shot back and tore the paper out of my hand. "You are not allowed back here! Please leave!"
"On the contrary," I told her, smiling. "My name is Megan Campbell. I am Sarah's personal assistant and I am in charge of all student activities associated with the concert. I may not have a say in whom you select for the Starshine meeting, but I will tell you now that Sarah will be upset with the two of you if this is the list you submit."
The woman's look changed from anger to apprehension at my words. It seemed like she was debating whether I was telling her the truth or not.
"Stay out of this, Megan!" someone screamed, and I turned to see Amber Hartfield nearby. "You've already made sure that only your friends are coming to the backstage party. The rest of us deserve a chance to meet Sarah too!"
"I'm sorry, Amber," I said calmly. "But you are wrong. My job is to make sure that Sarah gets to meet with the type of people she admires. I have met every single attendee of the previous Starshine meetings, and this list does not match the type of people who are normally invited."
I turned and handed the paper back to the woman. "Think about it," I told her.
Then I walked away.
I woke up Thursday morning more anxious than I'd ever been on a concert day before. Half of that feeling came from the knowledge that I would get to perform for the first time in two weeks. But the other half came from knowing that it would be in front of all of my classmates. Many of them had been hostile to me throughout the school year. I hadn't had any problems at school for a while now, but I knew that they might not be over. Sometimes I wondered if they even deserved a concert.
But there was no way that I was going to cancel it. I could already feel the tingle of the rush just thinking about performing. I couldn't wait until I finally got to take the stage.
Getting ready for this day was different than usual. Normally it was straight into Sarah's clothes and a wig before I left the house, but I still needed to make an appearance as Megan today, and I found myself putting on some of my regular school clothes, eating breakfast, and then meeting my friends outside for the trip to the school.
Instead of driving them myself, however, I led them over to Sarah's tour bus that was parked out front. I smiled at Eddie as I climbed onto the bus. I was carrying not only Sparkle, but my backpack as well. It was definitely a unique experience!
The trip took longer than normal, since it was harder for the bus to navigate the streets, but it wasn't long before we were pulling into one of the parking lots at the school. An area had already been cordoned off for my bus and the many other vehicles involved in putting on one of my shows. Eddie pulled the bus into a spot that was close to where I could get backstage in the auditorium easily but that was still very visible to everyone driving by the school. Immediately a crowd started to form as the students saw the bus and wanted a chance to meet Sarah.
"This is going to be a long day," I told my friends, causing them to laugh.
"Maybe," Emily replied. "But you know you love it."
I promptly laughed as I nodded vigorously. Then we grabbed our book bags and headed for the front of the bus. The tension between my friends and me had abated somewhat. I knew they were still unhappy about my quitting Chorus, but at least they were laughing with me.
"Don't let anyone on," I told Eddie, and he nodded back before opening the door. A cheer erupted, but it died down quickly when my friends and I emerged instead of Sarah. I was happy to find Mason and Cole waiting for us outside.
"Hi guys," I told them, as they smiled in response. They were already playing the part of the silent bodyguards, and the smile was their only concession to that facade.
"We'll watch the bus until you return," Mason whispered to me. "It seems weird to let you wander around alone."
I laughed but smiled back at him. Cole and Mason had been the best security guards I could ask for, and I could see that they had extra men on duty today. Apparently they were worried about the trouble that a group of high school students could cause.
I turned toward the large group of students and teachers who were hoping for the chance to meet Sarah. I was going to disappoint them.
"Sarah's not on the bus!" I yelled loudly so they could hear me. "She won't be here for another hour or two, so you can all go to class!"
There was a large groan from the crowd, but when the door to the bus closed behind me most of the students turned and headed toward the school. Some of them looked like they were going to linger around for her, but the teachers who had been among the crowd made sure they were herded toward their classes.
I bid goodbye to Austin and my friends and then turned toward the door to the auditorium. Principal Hall had given me permission to come and go from my classes as I pleased. His only request was that I tried to learn something today. The pass allowed me to show that Megan was still at the school, and it gave me the ability to do what I needed to do to prepare throughout the day. I hoped that it would help to keep my secret intact throughout the day. Never had I been as vulnerable as I would be today. If I could get through this concert without anyone finding out what my real relation to Sarah was, then I could get through anything.
Stepping into the auditorium was a surreal experience. I had been in this room many times over the years I'd been attending the school. But it had never been decorated for one of my concerts. It was almost unrecognizable. The huge screen that was always behind me on stage had already been set up and the crews were working to finish the rest of the preparations. My band was also setting up their instruments for our sound check, and I walked over to them.
"Hi, Megan," Jason greeted me as I approached.
"Hi, guys," I replied and watched them continue for a moment. "Are the girls here yet?"
"No," Stacy replied. "But they'll be here shortly."
"Okay," I replied, wishing there was something I could do to help. I knew that I should go to class, but I didn't want to leave the preparations. "I guess I'll see you guys later then. I better go to class."
Jason burst into laughter for a moment, which got everyone else chuckling at his reaction.
"You're going to classes today?" he asked, not believing what I had said.
"Unfortunately," I replied with a frown that only made him laugh again. "Both my dad and my principal want me to try to learn something today. I'd much rather be here though."
"Well, we'll be waiting for your return," Stacy said with a smile while he continued to move his drums into the proper positions. Enjoy your classes."
"Yeah, right," I replied with another chuckle. But I managed to pull myself away from them and head toward class.
A loud alarm caused my second period teacher to stop mid-lecture. He glared at me as I scrambled for my bag to silence the racket coming from my phone. As I silenced it, I noticed that it was already 9:30, and I only had 15 minutes until the sound check, and I still needed to run back to the bus to change.
"Sorry!" I offered while shoving the phone back into my bag along with my books before standing up.
"And where do you think you are going, Ms. Campbell?" he asked.
"Sound check!" I shot back and ran out the door.
I collapsed on the bed in my bus an hour later. The sound check had gone well and normally I would have been getting ready to go to P.E., but there was no way I was going to go work out before I took the stage this afternoon. I would expend ten times as much energy during the concert anyway. Instead, I now had a nice, private, study hall in my home on wheels. It would give me enough time to relax before I'd have to deal with all the girls at the Starshine meeting, which was being held over lunch.
Unfortunately, as I glanced out the window, I noticed that there was a group of students gathering outside the bus. I recognized some of them as freshmen, but I didn't know them personally. They took a seat on the other side of the temporary fence that had been erected between the bus and them, but they left me feeling uneasy.
I felt a bit guilty as I watched TV while all of my friends were inside the school in class. But I also reveled in the power Sarah gave me. I knew that I had already banked enough money that I could live comfortably for years without working. I knew that I could drop out of school if I wanted to. But that just didn't feel like the right answer to me, and there was no way my parents would agree to it. Besides, I wanted the education. I wanted the chance to learn, even if I hated doing it sometimes. I still wanted to go to college, even though the opportunity seemed harder and harder to imagine with the demands that Sarah put on my life.
A knock on the open door to my bedroom pulled my attention away from the show I had been watching. I found Amy there smiling at me.
"Ditching classes, huh?" she teased.
"Just P.E.," I replied. "I figured I would get enough of a workout this afternoon."
She chuckled, but nodded her head. "The Starshine meeting should be starting in about 10 minutes," she told me. "I just wanted to let you know so you could get ready."
"Thank you," I said. She nodded once more and then headed back toward the front of the bus. I turned off the TV and climbed off the bed, looking into the mirror on the back of the bathroom door to make sure the wig was still straight. Stephanie had applied my makeup before the sound check, and it still looked like it was in good condition.
I sighed while looking out the window. The small group of students was still there, but it had grown since the lunch break had started. There was quite a crowd eating lunch out there now, hoping for a glimpse of Sarah, not knowing that she walked around their school every day without anyone ever noticing.
I picked up Sparkle's case and made my way toward the front of the bus. I found Amy sitting on the couch waiting for me.
"Ready to go?" she asked. I nodded, and she took Sparkle from me so that it wouldn't be damaged in the rush of bodies that always occurred when I entered the Observatory. Then we stepped off the bus.
A roar went up among the crowd of my schoolmates. They were cheering and many of them were running toward the fence to get closer to me. I waved back, and then I followed Cole and Mason as they led me in the opposite direction. Turning a corner I found the outdoor tent we used to hold The Observatory set up on a patch of grass near the school. There were many security people wandering around, more than I had ever seen Cole and Mason bring in. But when I saw all the students wandering around I started to understand why. We didn't have a "real" backstage area here, and they were keeping the students away from where they shouldn't be. The temporary fence that had been set up extended all of the way to the entrance of the tent, but it didn't surround it.
I continued to wave at the students and teachers, but I kept walking as I was led over to the entrance. I was thankful to finally step inside, where I was rushed by the girls who had been invited to the party. I was mildly surprised, but pleased, to see that the group of girls was not the same group who had been on the list I'd seen yesterday. Instead the fans who were awaiting me were very similar to the girls I had hoped would be on the list. There were a couple of cheerleaders, but the rest of them looked like they could use a little help with their makeup. Stephanie would be able to work wonders with them. But best of all, Amber was not among them.
I made sure that each of the ten girls received a hug before we started. I recognized many of them but I didn't know any of them personally. Even the two cheerleaders appeared to be on the freshman squad, which meant they weren't the ones who had been mean to me.
"Hi everyone!" I greeted them once the excitement started to die down. "I'm Sarah, and I'm glad that you could all join me today. We don't have a lot of time before lunch is over, but we have food for everyone." I looked over at the small buffet that the catering company had left. There was a very enticing aroma in the air that was reminding me that I was hungry.
Then I turned my attention back to the girls. "Stephanie and I," I said while gesturing to my makeup artist, "will be coming around to spend some time with each of you. Stephanie will show you how to use some of the wonderful products that Starshine makes, and I look forward to getting to know each of you. Is that okay?" There was enthusiastic agreement at my words. "Alright then, get some food and we'll get started."
I wished I could join the girls at the food table, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to eat and spend quality time with them at the same time. Instead I knew that I'd get to eat once they went back to class. It was a small price to pay to see the smiles and excitement that they showered upon me over the remainder of the lunch period. The addition of food and the shortened time schedule to fit it into the lunch period made the meeting a bit more difficult. We didn't have time to compose a song together like I usually did with those attending the Starshine meeting, but I made sure that we still took a picture and we did have a lot of fun together.
When the bell rang indicating the end of lunch there was a groan from all of the girls, but they started to pack up all of the loot they had received from the makeup company, and they prepared to return to their classes. I was sad to see them go, but I made sure to hug each girl again as each one exited the tent. Every single one of the girls who had been invited had turned out to be an amazing young woman. I would call any of them a friend under other circumstances. It was going to be hard to walk down the halls as Megan and pretend I had never met them.
But those thoughts were quickly replaced when the last girl left the tent and Amy, Stephanie, and I all turned our attention to the remaining food.
There was still going to be a lot of excitement before the school day was over, but for now I was content to eat some lunch with my friends.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
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When Stacy's drums and Connor's bass boomed into the darkness the crowd went into a frenzy. I could barely hear the music coming from my earpiece over the roar of the crowd as Jason joined them. Then, with a burst of light around the auditorium the concert began in earnest. Somehow, somewhere, the crowd managed to increase their volume again.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.25 - Home of the Wildcats by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: September 10, 2012 |
Author Note: Many of the songs that Sarah sings are "inspired" by real life songs. I'm not a songwriter, but I can tell a story. A special thanks should be given to the artists that helped shape the music that is Sarah Carerra. Embedded in this chapter are the songs that inspired this part of the concert for you to enjoy if you wish to. They are here to give you an idea of what Sarah's songs sound like.
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.25 - Home of the Wildcats
The time was fast approaching for the concert to begin. I was nervously pacing in my bus. I had been assuring myself all day that nobody would see the similarity between Sarah and me, but I was still worried. It was extremely unlikely that anyone would see Sarah and think of me, but it was not impossible. Emily and Ethan had assured me that I would be fine, but it didn't make me feel any better. Especially since the next time I left this bus it would be without the wig.
"We're ready," Amy said from the couch. I had already changed and removed the wig, so I nodded, and nervously headed for the door to the bus. There was no crowd waiting for me to exit now. Everyone was already in their seats in the auditorium. I walked over to the door that led into the auditorium. The noise of the crowd echoed into the backstage area, starting a burn within my heart, the rush that always gave me the strength I needed to step out in front of a crowd. I didn't often do that without the wig on, but today was one of those days.
One of the sound techs handed me a microphone. It wasn't Sarah's - the one I always used while on stage. But I nodded in thanks and then moved forward once again. The students were talking amongst themselves, waiting for something to happen. When I stepped into view many of them quieted down. The rest did the same when I started to speak.
"Welcome, everybody!" I said into the microphone, causing a cheer to echo throughout the room. "Are you guys excited to see Sarah?" They roared again in approval, just like I expected them to.
"For those of you that don't know me," I continued. "My name is Megan Campbell. I am a junior at this school, and I'm also one of Sarah's personal assistants. I'm honored to welcome one of my best friends to the school to sing for us today, and I know that she is excited for the opportunity."
Another loud cheer echoed throughout the crowd and I waited for it to die down before I could continue. "Sarah will be on stage in about an hour," I told the crowd. "But first please welcome Poptacular!"
This time the cheer from the crowd was drowned by the instruments of the band that had opened for me on my tour. This would be the last time they performed with Sarah, which made it a sad day. But as I walked off stage and handed the microphone back to the sound tech I knew they would be appreciated.
I stayed backstage and watched Poptacular perform for the first time. Usually I was backstage getting ready or doing something with my band. I'd heard them play their set many times, but I had never had a chance to watch them in person. Once their set was over I returned to my bus to get ready.
It was my turn now.
Darkness covered the stage as I approached. The crowd had settled into a hush when the lights in the auditorium had faded to black. Anticipation was rampant in the air. Music started to play. The crowd started to scream. I moved into position. The countdown started in my ear two seconds after it appeared on the large screen behind me. The students and teachers in the audience were louder than I had ever heard them before.
When Stacy's drums and Connor's bass boomed into the darkness the crowd went into a frenzy. I could barely hear the music coming from my earpiece over the roar of the crowd as Jason joined them. Then, with a burst of light around the auditorium the concert began in earnest. Somehow, somewhere, the crowd managed to increase their volume again.
I looked out on the crowd as I sang song after song for them. This was the 14th time that I'd performed this concert, but as I watched my fellow students react to my presence I was astounded by their behavior more than any other fans I had met before. Some of the big jocks who had been mean to me since I had first come to school as Megan were acting like little schoolgirls when I approached the edge of the stage near them. A few of the cheerleaders they ran with were looking up at in me in awe. Other students were looking at me with adoration. For the first time in a long time everybody was staring at me, and nobody was giving me dirty looks.
Despite how much I felt like this concert wasn't a "true" concert like the others I had performed on this tour, I certainly had a lot of fun performing it. I loved being able to captivate my peers. I enjoyed being able to control their emotions. I had more power over my schoolmates than anyone else I knew. And I reveled in it.
All too soon I found myself singing 'Goodbye' to them. The end of the concert was close at hand, and with it the loss of my power over them. But even if I wasn't wearing the wig I now knew what it felt like to control them. There was no one at this school who could approach me now and believe he or she had power over me, because I knew the truth. Every single one of them would do anything for me right now.
After the lights had dimmed and I had rushed to change into my final dress for the encore I felt a different kind of power start to build inside of me. I had been waiting all day for this moment. Actually, I had waited all week for this.
As I rushed back to my spot on stage I was handed Sparkle, and I only had enough time to pull the strap over my head before the lights came back on. The crowd went wild once more as I appeared wearing a dress that was very familiar to them. But before I gave them the final song of the concert, there was one more thing I needed to do.
"It's been an honor to perform for you this afternoon," I told them when they had calmed down enough for me to continue. "Before I leave you today, I have a very special song that I want to share. My band and I only put the finishing touches on it two days ago. Do you guys want to hear a brand new song?"
The cheer that followed my question was not unexpected, but I smiled at their reaction. I wasn't singing this song for them. I was singing it for one person and to that one person. One person who was staring up at me in wonder from his seat near the front of the auditorium. His friends were gathered around him, but he only had eyes for me.
"I wrote this song for somebody very special in my life," I told the crowd. "My brother has been having a hard time the last couple of weeks. Trouble with some kids at school, trouble with his girlfriend. I watched as he suffered. I watched as he tried to hide his pain. He deserves better. I hope that this song will help him realize that things will improve."
I paused for a moment. Then I looked directly at Austin as I spoke again. "Your Time Will Come."
The band anticipated me perfectly and the beat of Stacy's drums joined Connor and Jason's strums as they accompanied my own guitar into the intro of the song I had written last Saturday.
As the intro came to a close the band fell silent as I continued to play, and I started singing about how hard it can be when somebody else takes away something that he really wanted. They take the opportunities that should have been Austin's. The band joined me again with a soft melody as I sang about it happening again under different circumstances.
We slowly built up toward the chorus when I looked straight at Austin once more and sang about how much I believed in him, and how I would always stand by him no matter what happened. Then, as I sang "Your Time Will Come" for the first time we burst into the high-paced chorus.
The auditorium fell into near silence again with only my guitar and voice piercing the quiet as I sang about how hard it was to push forward. But the band joined me earlier than they had in the first verse when I switched to singing about how we were getting stronger and how we could find new things they couldn't take from us. There were other ways to get what we wanted, and we had the power to get what we deserved.
We ramped back into the chorus once more declaring that the future would be ours. The band and I then moved into an interlude where we continued to play, but I wasn't singing. The strength of the song continued to reverberate around the auditorium, filling the holes in the hearts of everyone that had lost something they really wanted.
Then, with a steadfast tone I moved into the part of the song where I told anyone who was listening that it was time to make a stand. That it was time to fight for what we wanted. It was time to get what we deserved and we were going to do everything in our power to get what we had been working to achieve.
We moved into the final chorus immediately and I sang it with as much determination as I could. I wanted everyone in the auditorium to know that they deserved what they fought for and I wanted them to fight. But as I sang the last "Your Time Will Come" I was looking Austin in the eyes once more. Even from the stage I could see the tear streak down his cheek.
As I finished singing the band and I continued playing the song. I let the power of the music invade the auditorium. I let it intertwine with the hearts and desires of my schoolmates. For nearly a full minute the band and I stood on that stage playing, letting the song seep into their lives and drive them forward.
With a final drumroll the song came to an end. The crowd burst into a roar louder than I had felt in a long time.
And I had to discreetly wipe away the tear that escaped me.
It was just as hectic after the concert as it had been before it. I returned to the bus to change back into Megan once again, and then I mingled with the crowd at the Star Party while we waited for 'Sarah' to arrive. Then I discretely snuck out so that Sarah would actually arrive. The whole time I was doing my best to make sure that as many people as possible would see both Sarah and Megan in the same general vicinity. We were never together, but I hoped that having both of our faces in their memories would be enough to help persuade them we were both here at the same time. It seemed to be working.
When I came back out from the bus to head for the Star Party I was surprised at the number of people who had gathered outside the fence nearby. Looking around I noticed that it was more than just the students who hadn't been invited to the Party. With school ended for the day, there were younger children and parents there looking for a chance to meet me. I smiled and waved, wishing I had time to spend with them. But I had a lot of people waiting for me, and I couldn't disappoint them.
Cole and Mason led me back toward the Star Party, and I was apprehensive as I followed them. The last time I had spent time at a Star Party with people who I knew and who did not know my secret, Paul had recognized me. He had seen right through my disguise. I was worried that one or more of my classmates would be able to do the same thing. It was unlikely, since most of the people at the party were not my closest friends, but there were some who knew me quite well, like Jane.
But all thoughts of worry left my mind as I entered the tent again. A loud cheer spread throughout the crowd, and I felt another rush of emotions as I began to interact with my schoolmates once again. Everyone got to meet me. Austin's friends were in awe, the people I had invited myself were beside themselves, and even Mr. Benson and Principal Hall were agog at the way people were reacting to me. Other than my friends and staff, they were the only two people in the room who knew who Sarah really was, and even they didn’t comprehend the difference before now.
"You are amazing, Sarah," Mr. Benson commented when he got his turn with me. "I'm truly sorry for what I put you through. I never should have insisted that you stay in the class. Although, I would like to offer you an invitation to come back and work with us from time to time. Having someone like Sarah in the class would be very beneficial to the other students."
I smiled at him. It was nice to receive an apology. And despite my reticence to return, I nodded. "I would be honored," I told him. I might no longer be a member of the class, but that didn't mean I wanted to see the chorus fail.
He nodded, and I moved on. There were many people at this Star Party, and I had an obligation to meet with each one of them.
"Hi, Jane," I greeted my friend a while later as she approached me. "It's nice to finally meet you."
She was shocked and more than a little confused, by the expression on her face. "You know who I am?" she asked.
"Of course," I replied. "Megan has told me all about you, and I thought you might want to know that I've set up a meeting with you and my record company. They would love to hear one of your demos."
Her mouth dropped and she stood there wide-eyed and speechless for a moment! I smiled back at her. She deserved the chance to be successful, and I had the power to make it happen.
"Th...Thank you!" she finally blurted and spontaneously hugged me. "I don't know what to say!"
"Don't say anything," I told her. "You deserve it. Talk to Megan and she will set up the details. Okay?"
"Okay," she replied. I talked with her a while longer, but it was obvious that she was still shell-shocked.
I talked to a number of other students who were also excited, but for different reasons. Some of them were just excited to meet me. Others were in awe that I was actually talking to them. It wasn't anything unfamiliar to me, and I was happy to bring smiles to their faces.
Even Jared Lumbart and the cheerleader he brought as a date didn’t dampen the mood of the party. It was nice to see Jared smile at me for once, even if he didn’t know that he was doing it. He looked so much better without a scowl on his face.
Overall it was one of the most enjoyable Star Parties that I'd hosted. For me, it was very revealing - I saw a different side to many of my schoolmates. It was a side they normally kept hidden, but which they couldn't contain when they met Sarah.
The crowd was still hanging out on the other side of the fence when I returned to my bus. If anything, it had grown larger during the time that I was gone. I felt sorry that I wouldn't be able to meet with any of them, but logistically it would be a nightmare, or so Mason told me as he directed me onto the bus. I waved as much as I could anyway before I stepped aboard.
Inside I found the one person I hadn't had a chance to talk to during the Star Party. I didn't have to say anything. He just got up from the couch where he had been sitting, walked over to me, and wrapped his arms around me. I knew that he had been crying, and I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed.
We stood like that for a few minutes before Austin finally let go of me and looked into my eyes.
"Thank you," he said.
"You're welcome, Austin," I replied. I gazed at him, noticing for the first time how much older he seemed. Gone was the 14-year-old boy whom I knew so well. In his place was a strong young man. I didn't know when the change had occurred, but I smiled at him anyway. He was growing up faster than he should have to. Part of that was my fault, because of all the attention that Sarah was receiving. But another part of it came from the events of the past couple of weeks. He had faced more adversity than I thought he should have to, but he was weathering it well.
There were so many things that I wanted to tell him. There were so many things that I thought he needed to know. But I couldn't find any words. I had told him everything in the song I had written for him.
Instead, all I could do was wrap him in another hug.
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I was saddened that the concert tour had ended. But Amy informed me that I would still be just as busy.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.26 - Christmas Pumpkins by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: November 5, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.26 - Christmas Pumpkins
I was floating on air as I attended school on Friday. Yesterday’s concert had created a buzz in the air and I loved hearing the different conversations about it as I passed through the halls. Everyone seemed to have enjoyed the concert, and I constantly smiled at the praises they were singing to me. I loved being able to listen in without anyone realizing who I really was.
Even Austin seemed to be in a better mood. The song had helped him immensely to realize that he had a lot to look forward to in his life. So I was happy when I found him in the hallway talking to a number of very cute freshman girls right before lunch. His life already seemed to be turning around. I knew I wasn't the only cause of his transformation, but I still secretly thought I had played a part.
After school ended I was privileged to join my band, my dancers, and everyone else who had helped put on the concert tour in a party thanking them for all of their hard work. Amy had used the money I put up for the event well, and everyone was smiling when they left.
I was saddened that the concert tour had ended. I was sad that I didn't have any other performances planned before the Christmas Concert, which was still two months away. But Amy informed me that I would still be just as busy. Not only did I have a meeting to discuss the Christmas Concert for the first time later this week, but I also had a number of people who wanted me to collaborate with them. I was apparently in high demand; there were two bands reaching out for a chance to work with me, and a film studio was hoping that I would write a song for one of their movies. Plus, I still had all of the work and practices that would be required to put on the Christmas Concert.
The weekend’s countdown left me with mixed emotions. On the bright side, 'You Can't Hurt Me' was still in the Top 10, albeit holding on at #9. 'Ever After', however, had not managed to clinch the top spot on the countdown and had once again come in at #2. I still had hope that it would reach the top of the countdown, but the result made me worry that it wouldn't.
I met with Amy on Monday night to prepare for Wednesday's Christmas meeting. We narrowed down a number of the details about the concert and what both we and the TV network wanted. By the time we were finished I had become excited.
When Wednesday arrived I was feeling overwhelmed with everything that was on my plate as I changed after school in order to attend the Christmas Concert meeting. But I knew that I had to keep going. I now had a lot of people looking to me to put on a successful Christmas Concert.
Principal Hall and Mr. Benson were in the waiting area near Lucy's desk when I entered Dad's office building. They appeared to be marveling at the expense that a building like this would cost both my Dad and me.
"Hello, Sarah," Lucy called out to me as I entered, causing the two men to look at me.
"Hi, Lucy," I replied to the receptionist before turning toward my principal and teacher. "Principal Hall, Mr. Benson, it's nice to see you again."
"Please, call me George," Mr. Benson stated while sticking out his hand. "Mr. Benson seems so formal coming from you."
"Okay, George," I replied while looking at him questioningly. He never would have allowed me to call him George in class, but now that I had the wig on he seemed to prefer it. It made me feel weird to use his real name. Nevertheless I took his hand and shook it before doing the same to Principal Hall.
"Alexander," my principal stated, and I almost sighed at how uncomfortable this meeting was going to be. I had never been on a first-name basis with any of my teachers or principals. Yet I knew that if I saw them at school tomorrow they would never allow me, as Megan, to call them by their first names.
But perhaps they had inadvertently given Sarah more power over them. If nothing else they were treating me as an equal, which was not only an improvement but was also accurate. We WERE equals.
"Come on in," I said while indicating the door into my offices. "I'll show you to the conference room."
I opened the door, and I heard their intake of breath when they saw how big my office space was. I knew they still mostly thought of me as one of their students, but I had just proven to them that I was also a successful businesswoman. It was obvious that they hadn't expected an operation this large when they were discussing it in the waiting area.
I smiled, and greeted the many people who were working at their desks as we passed through the large open room and down the hallway at the back. Mr. Benson and Principal Hall were gazing around every way and into each of the rooms as we walked toward the conference room. There were a number of voices coming from the room and I entered to find Amy, Scott, and my dad waiting for us.
"Hi guys," I greeted them before taking my usual seat at one end of the table. Mr. Benson and Principal Hall took their own seats while Dad closed the door to the conference room. "Amy, Scott, this is Alexander Hall, principal of my school, and George Benson, the instructor of the Chorus class. Alexander and George, this is Amy Martin, my personal assistant, and Scott Crawford, my producer and representative from Olympic Records. You both know my dad, who is also my agent."
There were a number of greetings around the room before Amy took over the meeting.
"Let's get right to it," she said while passing a stack of papers out to each of us. "Contained in this packet is the information we have about the Christmas Concert. The concert will be held on December 17 at a yet to be determined location. We're looking at the Nokia Theatre right now, but there are a couple of other possibilities. The concert will also be aired live that evening."
"So this is a concert then?" Mr. Benson asked. "Not a Christmas special at all?"
"It will likely be a bit of both," I replied before Amy could. "Our emphasis is going to be on producing a show for TV, but in a concert environment. All proceeds for the concert are going to be donated to charity."
"Any other questions?" Amy asked.
"What are we going to be singing?" Mr. Benson asked.
"If you'll turn the page we have a tentative set list for the concert," Amy continued as we each found the proper page in the packet. "Most of the songs are traditional Christmas carols, though Sarah has agreed to write two original songs for the concert."
I wasn't looking forward to that, but it had been a request by Scott that I couldn't ignore.
"The Chorus will participate in each of the songs to some extent," I added when I noticed Mr. Benson studying the song list in detail. "As you can see I'm going to be making use of the girls in the class a bit more than the guys, but everyone should get a chance to sing quite a bit that night."
"I see you have some names listed here," he queried while looking up at me. He looked a bit perturbed that I had assigned students of his class to particular songs.
"They are suggestions," I offered. "We can discuss how we want to use the members of Chorus, but those are the students I would like to have singing with me on each of the songs."
"Jane is frequently mentioned on this page," Mr. Benson continued. "But I see you haven't listed Mark at all. Do you feel that is wise?"
I felt my smile tighten slightly at what he was inferring. He wanted me to allow Mark to sing, but that was the last thing that I wanted to do.
"I don't think that giving Mark a solo piece is a good idea," I told him and saw his smile tighten.
"He is an excellent singer!" he retorted. "I think he would be an excellent choice for some of these songs. I suggest we put him on song 2 and 3 at least."
He scratched out the names I had listed for those songs on his own sheet and started writing in Mark's name. Nobody else moved or said anything. When he looked up and noticed that nobody else was making the change he looked at me, upset.
"Your suggestion is noted," I told him. "But I think these other singers will do just as well."
"Sarah--," he started, and I knew he was ready to start lecturing me.
"George," I cut him off immediately. "I would like to remind you that this is MY concert we are planning. I am more than willing to work with you in creating a show that we are both happy with. But ultimately I am going to do what is best for me, and singing a duet with Mark is not going to benefit the show. Understood?"
He was turning a bit red, and I thought that he was going to start yelling at me, but he nodded instead. I knew that he was very upset, and he wasn't going to forget that. But at that moment, I didn’t care.
Thankfully it was Amy who broke the tension that had settled in the room.
"Remember," she said. "This meeting is just a preliminary discussion about what we are planning. The details will likely change as we move forward. Okay?"
Everyone nodded, and we returned to the business at hand. I knew that Mr. Benson was upset about his lack of authority in planning this concert, but I had to do what was best for my career. If he didn't understand that then this was going to be a very bad experience.
"Okay," I said, trying to continue. "What about the songs? Is everyone okay with the list of songs?"
There was quiet for a few moments as everyone read through the list of songs again.
"Do you have anything for the two original pieces yet?" Scott asked me.
"No," I told him. "We only put this list together on Monday night. I have a few ideas, but I haven't written anything yet."
He nodded, but I sensed that the unknown was bugging him. We would be releasing an album containing the songs on this paper, and as my producer he wanted to know what he would be producing.
"I like the song selection," Mr. Benson said, more calmly than he had been. "I do wish that you were planning to use the men in the chorus for more, but I understand why most of these songs are geared toward a feminine sound. I think it will work."
He paused for a moment, and I knew he was going to bring up Mark again. I readied myself for another battle.
"I'm sorry, Sarah," he said. "I know that you are trying to do what is best for your image and your career. I'm not going to force you to sing with Mark, but I do believe you should reconsider it. Don't ignore his talent. I know the two of you do not get along, but he IS the best male singer in that class and I think you would be remiss to not make use of that talent."
I stared at him for a few seconds. I knew he was right. As much as I did not want to sing with Mark Corbin I knew that he had a good voice.
"He is talented, but he is also arrogant and immature," I finally told him. "But we do have space for one more song. If we can find one that I feel comfortable with him singing, and if he behaves himself, then we can include it in the program."
"Thank you," he replied. And just like that he was happy again.
I was patiently waiting in Scott's studio Thursday afternoon when a ball of energy arrived. Jane was more excited than I had ever seen her before. She was excited to see Sarah again and I was a bit sad that she didn't know the secret, but I wanted this day to be about her, not about me.
I sat in the control room and smiled the entire time she worked with Scott to produce a demo for Olympic Records. She sounded amazing, and I knew it was only a matter of time until she had her own recording contract. I just hoped that it didn't interfere with my Christmas Concert, because that would complicate things.
Friday afternoon was surreal. The Chorus was performing a Halloween concert for the school. As I sat in the audience watching, I was sad that I wasn't up there with them. But there was no way I would return to Chorus as Megan. I was scheduled to make my first appearance as Sarah next Thursday to discuss the Christmas Concert, and that was going to be bad enough.
Mr. Benson had done a good job preparing the Chorus for their concert and I was very impressed with their music. Their rendition of 'You Can't Hurt Me' was great, and I knew that leaving Chorus was not only a great idea but it was the right decision.
Saturday was nice and relaxing. After my appointment with Mary, Emily and I spent most of the day shopping before going to see a movie with Ethan. We even let Anna, Emily's younger sister, join us. Anna adored Emily and me, and I hadn't had much time to spend with her lately.
Halloween rolled around on Sunday and it was a mix of highs and lows. 'Ever After' and 'You Can't Hurt Me' were still both in the Top 10, but 'You Can't Hurt Me' was barely inside at #10 and 'Ever After' had fallen to #3 instead of climbing to #1 like I had hoped it would. It appeared that 'Ever After' might end up being my first single not to make it to #1.
Later in the day, I was in charge of passing out candy because my entire family was gone. Mom and Dad were attending a party for one of his clients and Austin was out trick-or-treating with his friends. Ethan had come over and the two of us had the TV on watching some of the scary Halloween movies that were playing. Emily had gone out with Anna, but she was going to join us later.
I definitely wasn't expecting a whole bunch of little Sarah Carerras to come to my door throughout the night, but that is what happened. Apparently I was one of the most popular Halloween costumes this year! It was fun to see all the young girls, and even one young boy, wearing a blonde wig when I opened the door for them. It made me wish that I was passing out Carerra Bears instead of the cheap candy my mom had bought for the occasion.
So I was stunned when I opened the door for one young Sarah and found her carrying a small pink bear! I almost burst into tears. She looked so happy and it took me a moment to realize that the bear was real. She had a Carerra Bear!
I was speechless as I looked up into her eyes.
"Trick or treat", she said with a bright smile, and I felt a tear streak down my face as I recognized her for the first time.
She started to reach into the bowl of candy I had in my hands, and I slowly pulled it away. She looked up at me, confused.
"I have a real treat for you, Anna," I said while placing the bowl down on the table next to the door and stepping back to let her in to the house. Emily was looking at me frantically from behind her sister and was violently shaking her head, but I had made my decision. It might have been a bad idea, but it was something I had to do.
"What is it?" Anna asked, excited. She stepped into the house and I indicated that she should follow me.
I led her down the hall to Sarah's room and I opened the door. She gasped when she saw what was inside, and she started wandering around, looking at the memorabilia that was around the room.
"What is this?" she finally asked while looking at some of the awards on one of the walls.
"It's a secret that you cannot tell anybody, okay?" I told her. She looked over at me and nodded her head vigorously. Anna wasn't the best at keeping secrets, but I saw in her eyes that she would guard this one with her life, and she hadn't even heard it yet.
"Is this Sarah's room?" she asked, awestruck.
"Yes," I told her while stepping over to the armoire. "But there's more. I have a Sarah Carerra costume too. Should I put it on?"
"Uh huh," Anna said while nodding. She was clearly surprised, but I could tell she was excited.
I entered the code into the armoire, heard it unlock, and opened one of the doors to reveal a number of blonde wigs. I gathered my own hair and pinned it before pulling out a very familiar wig and placing it on my head. Anna stared the entire time, not saying a word. When I was finished I turned back to her.
"What do you think?" I asked.
"You look a lot like her," she said, still not making the connection. I couldn't blame her.
I opened the other door to the armoire and pulled out a guitar case before carefully placing it on the ground.
"I don't have a small Carerra Bear to finish my costume," I told her. "But I do have something else." I opened the guitar case and pulled out Sparkle. Anna's eyes went wide and it was obvious that she was impressed. I pulled the strap for the guitar over my head and rested it against me before turning back to her. "What about now?"
"Now you really look like her!" Anna exclaimed, but she still hadn't comprehended my secret.
I laughed, along with both Emily and Ethan.
"Oh, Anna," I chuckled. Then I started playing 'Ever After' on the guitar. It was a song that she had heard me play and sing many times before, but this time I watched it click in her mind, and she started to scream and jump around as I started to sing the first chorus. I continued to play the song for her, giving her a private concert. All thought of tricks and treats had been forgotten on her angelic face as she stared at me in wonder! Eventually she grabbed Emily's hand for reassurance to make sure this was real.
When I finished singing she rushed toward me and I only had enough time to pull Sparkle out of the way before she was squeezing me tightly. I had wanted to do this for months, but the fear of her telling somebody else had kept me from following through with that desire.
But as she squeezed me tightly while looking up into my eyes I knew it had been the right thing to do.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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When I arrived I only had a moment to take a deep breath before Cole opened the door. Mr. Benson was talking to the class, but he quickly lost their attention when they saw me enter the room.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.27 - A Very Carerra Chorus by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: November 12, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.27 - A Very Carerra Chorus
The first few days of November felt almost normal, or at least like what I remembered normal to be before Sarah came into my life. The only thing I had to look forward to each day was school, and, well, that didn't compare to what was usually going on in Sarah's life. I did visit Mr. Benson during lunch on Tuesday to talk about an idea I had for including Mark in the Christmas Concert. He seemed to like the idea, so we spent most of the time discussing the visit Sarah was going to make to the Chorus on Thursday to talk about the Christmas Concert. That visit would officially kick off the preparations for the Christmas Concert. I had mixed emotions — I was excited to return to Chorus, at least as Sarah. But I was also very nervous at being around them as my alter-ego. Nevertheless it was something I had to do.
When I arrived at school on Wednesday morning I was surprised to find a number of posters advertising the Autumn Ball that was being held the following week. I had been so busy with Sarah that I hadn't even realized that the dance was coming up, let alone doing anything to prepare for it. I figured that Emily and I would be going together since neither of us was in relationships. Ethan would probably join us since he was similarly unattached. It would be my first big dance since my life had taken the drastic turn it had over the summer, and I was excited to go.
That same elation seemed to permeate the students at my school and there was a buzz in the air all morning. That excitement was palpable all morning and was the discussion around our lunch table. Everyone seemed to be looking forward to the first big dance of the school year, and I was no exception.
When Jane's phone rang toward the end of lunch her excitement took on an entirely new level. I didn't have to ask to know that it was Scott calling her. I watched as she listened excitedly and I waited to congratulate her on her record contract.
Then I saw her happy face turn crestfallen, and in my mind it brought the entire cafeteria to a standstill. I thought for sure that she would get a contract! But the tears that started to escape her eyes told me that wasn't the case as she listened to what Scott had to say. I reached out and grabbed her hand and she looked over at me. Sobs started to escape her as she met my eyes. I wasn’t sure if I could imagine what she was feeling, because I hadn’t been rejected by Olympic Records.
"Thank you," was the only thing she was able to speak before hanging up the phone, but I doubted she felt the words. I squeezed her hand in comfort, but I knew it wouldn't help. She was crying hard now and Ashley and Kathy, her two best friends, wrapped their arms around her as they tried to comfort her.
My phone started ringing, and I felt her hand slip out of my own as I reached for my bag to retrieve it. I sighed when I saw that Scott was calling me now, and stood up before stepping away from the table.
"Hi, Scott," I said.
"I guess you're with Jane," he replied, recognizing my tone of voice. "I'm sorry, Sarah. If it was up to me I would offer her a contract. She's an amazing singer and I hate to see her walk away. But there isn't anything I can do."
"Why not her?" I asked. If she was that talented then why wouldn't the talent managers at Olympic Records give her a contract?
"Matt felt she didn't have the 'spark'," he said referring to Matt Thompson, the Director of Talent at the company. He had been the guy who had signed me to my record deal, and I knew he was fair. I didn't agree with him, however. "She might have luck at a smaller record company, but that might be a long shot. I'm really sorry, Sarah, I know how much you two wanted this."
I looked over at Jane, who was still crying a few feet away. She was looking at me, however, and I had a feeling she knew who I was talking to.
"What about the other thing we discussed?" I asked, trying to be cryptic so she wouldn't know what I was asking yet.
"That's up to you," he said. "Our contract is with you."
"Okay, thanks, Scott," I replied before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. Jane's other option felt more like a consolation prize, and I didn't know how she would react to it.
"What did he say?" Jane asked immediately as I pulled the phone away from my ear. I knew that she was hoping I had better news, but I didn't.
"He said that if it was up to him, you'd have a contract," I replied. That was apparently something he hadn't told her because it made her cry some more. "I'm sorry, Jane. I really am. I thought for sure you were going to get a contract. You are amazing."
My words sounded hollow even to myself, even though I sincerely believed that Jane was a wonderful singer. I stepped back to the table and sat down again before taking her hand in my own once more.
"This might feel like the end of the world," I told her. "But I happen to know that Sarah Carerra is planning to have you sing a number of songs with her at the Christmas Concert. She too thinks you are amazing, and I'm sure she can help."
It wasn't much, but it did bring a slight smile to her face.
On Thursday afternoon I felt weird when instead of heading for the Study Hall that had replaced Chorus in my schedule I headed out to my car and drove home. Once I arrived home I quickly changed and put on the wig before I was once again heading back to the school. This time, as Sarah.
Walking down the vacant halls of the school toward the Chorus room was also a unique experience, because Cole and Amy were accompanying me. I doubted that a bodyguard would be necessary at the school, but his stoic presence seemed to keep the few people who were in the halls from doing much more than scream with excitement when they saw me. I always smiled back, but I continued to the classroom.
When I arrived I only had a moment to take a deep breath before Cole opened the door. Mr. Benson was talking to the class, but he quickly lost their attention when they saw me enter the room.
Once the screaming and the clamoring to get near me had subsided, Mr. Benson was able to get everyone back into their seats and I joined him at the front of the classroom.
"Sarah is here to talk about the Christmas Concert," Mr. Benson told the class. "We have six weeks to prepare, and that isn't much time. Sarah?"
"Thank you," I replied and the class looked at me. Amy was holding a piece of paper out to me and I took it before she started to pass out copies to the rest of the class. "This is a schedule of the songs we'll be singing," I told the class. “It ranges from using the entire Chorus to certain individuals. I've been working with Mr. Benson to help me decide who will be best for each of the songs. But everyone will get a chance to sing multiple songs on stage."
Somebody raised a hand while he was looking down at the paper, and when I noticed it was Mark I knew what he was going to say.
"I thought I was the top boy in the class," Mark said and he sounded upset. I promptly repressed my anger and I tried to control my emotions. "Shouldn't I be singing the duets with Sarah?"
"Sarah has requested these assignments herself," Mr. Benson said cautiously. I knew he was as reluctant to get into an argument as I was. "I'm afraid that it is Mr. Knight who will be singing these duets."
Mark turned red and I knew that he wasn't going to accept what Mr. Benson had told him without a fight. He turned toward me.
"No offense, Sarah," he started, which would not have endeared me to his plea if I didn't already know him. "But I think that you will want the best singer to sing with you. That's me."
I opened my mouth to reply, but was cut off by Mr. Benson before I got the chance.
"Mr. Corbin," he said sternly. "I thought you would be happy with what Sarah has given you. You basically have a whole song to yourself. No other member of this Chorus will have that much attention. I suggest that you be grateful."
Mark didn't like that. He wanted more. I could see it in his eyes. He wanted to sing with me.
"I am grateful," Mark said. "But I'm just thinking about what is best for Sarah."
I almost lost it right there. Mark had no idea what was best for me! He had no right to tell me how I should be a multi-platinum recording artist!
"Mark," I growled, and my tone caused him to take a step away from me. "I respect your opinion, but I have made my decision with the help of Mr. Benson. I assure you that I have the best individuals performing each song and I think you should respect my decision."
"I understand," he shot back. "But--"
"No, Mark!" I nearly shouted back. There was fury in my eyes and I glared at him. "I have a number of friends in this Chorus. I know all about you and how you treat them! It is only because Mr. Benson pleaded your case that I have included you in the program. Do you understand? I suggest you sit down right now before I change my mind."
I didn't want to lose my temper in front of the class, but I was very close to doing so. I prayed that Mark would sit back down and shut up, but I knew it was unlikely. Mark wanted to be the center of attention, but I refused to give him the opportunities he felt he was entitled to.
Mark took another step back at my outburst, and it looked like he was going to sit down for a moment, but he opened his mouth once more instead.
"You don't know me," he shot back, and I was surprised that he felt confident enough to argue with someone like Sarah Carerra. "You can't know me from what Megan has told you. She--"
"I have known her since we were little girls, Mark!" I told him. "Don't think for a second that I'm not going to listen to her. And no, I did not base my decisions on her words alone. I've known Ethan nearly as long. I consider Jane a friend. Paul was the inspiration for one of my songs. And none of them have had very nice things to say about your attitude. I'm afraid that you are not the type of person that I want to sing a duet with even if you are an amazing singer. And for the record I DO think that you are an amazing singer. So you had better sit down and shut up, or you won’t even be at the concert. Got it?"
He was pissed, and I knew that he wanted to scream back at me. But he seemed to realize how bad of an idea that would be and he finally sat down. The class fell into an awkward silence for a moment before Mr. Benson finally spoke again.
"Okay," he said. "As you can see from your paper we have a lot of work to do to get ready. Besides learning the songs there is going to be some choreography to learn."
There were some disconcerting glances around the room at that announcement.
"You won't be dancing," I told them and watched as a number of sighs of relief escaped them. "There are a few individuals who will have more intricate choreography as part of their larger roles in the songs, but most of the dancing will be done by professional dancers. But you will have to move on and off the stage depending on the song. If your name is listed as one of the principal singers for a song and you are worried about the choreography, please talk to me after class. But for the most part it shouldn't be too bad. Okay?"
There was some general agreement around the room even though some of them still seemed uncomfortable. We had already hired Kate Abernathy, the choreographer for my concert tour, to provide the choreography for the Christmas Concert, but I hadn't met with her yet. Nevertheless it seemed unlikely that there would be much that the class would need to learn.
"Other things to know," I said while looking over the sheet. "We will be selling albums of the Christmas Concert and each of you will receive one for free. We will be in a recording studio at the end of the month to record them. That's the week after Thanksgiving. If you can't make it please talk to Amy here. Let's see." I scanned the paper again to see if there was any other information I needed to tell them. "The concert itself will be a live performance on TV on December 17. We will be performing at the Nokia Theatre downtown. It should be a lot of fun!"
I smiled at the class, though most of them looked overwhelmed. That was understandable. I knew they would be ready, because Mr. Benson would see to that.
"I believe we are also doing stage rehearsals the two weeks before the concert, is that correct?" Mr. Benson asked.
I looked at Amy, who was in charge of the scheduling, and she nodded.
"Yes," I told him. "But the entire chorus will likely not have to be there every day. Those with choreography may be asked to attend more. Once again, if you have any concerns about the amount of time involved in this please let us know. I'm really excited to work with you guys. There is a lot of work that goes into putting on a concert like this, but I believe it is going to be a wonderful experience."
"Sarah will also be here at least one day each week from now until December and most of the two weeks before the concert," Mr. Benson said. "I want to reiterate how lucky we are to have this opportunity and I hope that each of you take the time to relish in this experience. It will be hard work, but this is one of those ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunities that you'll remember for a long time."
I was nodding, and the class seemed to be excited. I couldn't ask for more.
I stayed and helped Mr. Benson with the class. We started working on some of the songs that required the whole Chorus and it was actually the first time I'd been in the classroom and had fun. Nobody had even come close to making the connection between Megan and Sarah, and it seemed unlikely to happen. They were all star struck, and I knew from experience that people rarely saw through the facade that Sarah placed over my true identity.
After the class ended I made sure to speak with each of them as they were leaving to learn their names and introduce myself. It was funny to see some of them, even Mark, treat me completely differently than they had when I was a member of the class. But they all seemed excited about the concert, and that made me smile.
One of the last people to leave the classroom was Jane, and she smiled as she approached me.
"You consider me a friend, huh?" she asked slyly.
"I do," I replied truthfully. "Any friend of Megan's is a friend of mine." How little she understood the truth of those words.
Jane beamed at me, and I was happy to see her in a good mood after what had happened the day before.
"I'm sorry about your record deal," I stupidly said, and watched her expression sour immediately. "You are a fantastic singer and if there was anything I could do I would have."
"I know," she said, her voice now downcast. "I really thought I was good enough."
"Did you try any other record companies?" I asked.
"Yes," she replied. But the look she gave me told me what their responses had been. "They didn't like me either."
"Well, it's their loss," I told her and received a hint of a smile. "There is a reason why you are singing so many songs with me in the Christmas Concert, you know."
"I..." she started but then stopped. A moment later she continued. "Thank you, Sarah. I'm glad that somebody believes in me."
"Anyone who doesn't is an idiot," I said, eliciting a laugh and another full smile from her.
She looked radiant when she smiled. I was lucky to have someone like her on the stage with me for the Christmas Concert.
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When I opened my locker to get my books for Study Hall I was surprised to find a number of rose petals and a folded up note inside.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.28 - Entanglements by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: November 19, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.28 - Entanglements
I was in the cafeteria on Friday when I had the first inkling that something wasn’t quite right. I had that crazy feeling that somebody was watching me, but I couldn't see anyone when I looked around. The feeling followed me for the rest of the day, and when I opened my locker to get my books for Study Hall I was surprised to find a number of rose petals and a folded up note inside.
A smile spread across my face at the same time that I looked around, but I didn't see anyone watching me. I didn't know what to expect while I unfolded the note; I definitely didn’t expect to find a poem written to me.
'Roses are red, violets are blue,
I want to go to the Autumn Ball with you'
The poem was signed with a signature that I could not decipher. I had no idea who had slipped the poem into my locker, but I was floating on air as I walked toward the classroom. I still didn't feel like getting involved with someone right now, but knowing that somebody wanted to ask me to the dance had elated me in a way that I didn't know it could.
Josh had been the only person in my life whom I had truly gotten close to, and he had ripped out my heart. I still hadn't fully recovered from that, and I wasn't sure that I could agree to go to a dance with someone. I had already promised Emily that I would go with her because she didn't think anyone was going to ask her. I had my doubts about that; she was one of the prettiest girls in our class after all. I didn't want to leave her by herself, yet I couldn't deny the excitement I felt that someone had asked me to the dance. I only wished I knew whose signature was on the paper.
I was staring at the paper again in Study Hall when a shadow fell over the table I was sitting at. I looked up to find one of the freshmen in the class standing there. He looked very nervous. The feeling that I was being watched had been very strong since I'd entered the room, and I wondered if he had been the one watching me all day.
"Hi," he said, and for a moment I thought he was going to turn and run away. Had he slipped the poem into my locker?
"Hi," I replied, hoping that it hadn't been him. He was nice and all, but he was the same age as Austin!
"I, um," he stammered, trying to find his words. I waited patiently. "Are you going to the Autumn Ball?"
"Yes," I replied. His face fell, and I regretted my response almost immediately.
"Oh," he said in a downcast tone. "I guess Austin asked you already then?"
I couldn't help it, but I started laughing. I knew that Austin had been playing our relationship up among the freshmen, but I hadn’t realized that it had gone that far.
"No," I finally replied once my laughter had died down. "I'm definitely not going with Austin."
The poor kid now looked confused. He was staring at me like he couldn't figure out why I wouldn't go with Austin.
"Austin is my brother," I told him, and the shock that registered on his face was instant and extreme. Then he started smiling again.
"So you don't have a date to the dance yet?" he asked excitedly.
"Not officially," I replied, discreetly hiding the poem that had been slipped into my locker in my hand. I now knew it wasn't this boy who had left it for me.
"Will you go with me?" he asked hopefully.
I held back the sigh that wanted to escape my lips. He was a nice boy, and he would probably make a good date for somebody. But that somebody would not be me.
"I'm sorry..." I wracked my brain to remember his name, "Steven. But I'm expecting someone else to ask me."
"Oh," he said again and his face fell once more. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize," I told him. "You are really nice and under other circumstances I might have been able to say yes."
"It's okay," he said and turned to leave. I could tell that I had just dashed his dreams, and that didn't make me happy.
"How about I save you a dance?" I called back to him. He stopped immediately and turned around.
"You mean it?" he asked, the excitement back in his voice.
"I mean it," I confirmed.
"Yes!" he screamed while turning and running back to the table he had been sitting at with some other freshmen boys.
I smiled and unfolded the poem once more.
At our appointment on Saturday morning, I spent a lot of time talking to Mary about the note and the prospect of someone being interested in me. She cautioned me about secret admirers, but her smile revealed that she was happy about this turn of events.
Then I spent most of the weekend trying to write some new songs. Not only did I have to come up with two songs for the Christmas Concert and start all the other preparations for the concert, I also had a meeting with a director on Monday who wanted me to write a song for his movie. Then on Wednesday I was supposed to record a collaboration with Sam's Town, a fairly popular band that had a few #1 hits. I liked their music so I was eager to work with them.
The countdown on Sunday had a mix of good and bad in it. After 16 weeks in the Top 10 'You Can't Hurt Me' dropped to #12. I was amazed that it had spent so much time on top of the charts, and I couldn't believe that people liked the song that had been born of misery and pain. The song meant so much more now than it had after I wrote it, and I knew that it would always be one of my greatest hits.
'Ever After' had managed to climb back to the #2 spot after falling last week, but it was my first single that couldn't seem to make the jump to the top of the list.
I sighed while I turned off the radio. For Emily’s sake I had hoped that 'Ever After' would climb to the top. She had been instrumental in the creation of the song and she deserved to have a song on top of the charts. I still hoped and prayed that it would make it there, but I no longer was sure that it would.
I walked out of Sarah's room and headed toward the kitchen, where my mom was preparing dinner. Before I got there, however, the doorbell rang and I changed course to answer the door.
What I found on the other side of the door was perplexing, and I didn't know what to make of it. There was a trail of rose petals leading down the porch and out of sight.
"What..." I found myself asking.
"Who is it?" my mom asked from behind me, coming to investigate. She too looked taken aback by the rose petals, but she was the one who noticed the envelope taped to the front door with 'Megan' written across the front. Removing it from the door she handed it to me.
I quickly opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper. As I unfolded it I felt myself take a deep breath. Signed by the same person that had left the note in my locker I found another poem:
'Roses are red, violets are blue,
Do not think, just follow the clue'
I smiled immediately, and before I knew what I was doing I had taken a step forward. Mom was right behind me, and I couldn't blame her. I was very curious to know who my secret admirer was, and she seemed to be interested also.
The rose petals led down the walkway, across our driveway, and around the corner of our house. As I turned the corner I came face to face with the author of the notes, and I was slightly disappointed. I didn't know who I was expecting, but I didn’t expect him.
"Hi, Paul," I greeted my friend. He was dressed in a black tux with a dozen red roses in his hands.
"Hi, Megan," he replied with a huge smile. "Will you go to Autumn Ball with me?"
Immediately I thought of a number of reasons why going to the dance with Paul was a bad idea. The most notable was the fact that I knew I didn't feel the same way about him as he felt about me. But I knew that Paul had never asked a girl to a dance before. I couldn't tell him ‘no’. I couldn't crush the confident and outgoing person that he had grown into over the last few months. I was afraid that if I said no he would retreat back into himself and never come out.
"Yes," I replied while nodding. "I will go to the Autumn Ball with you."
"Yes!" he screamed and punched the air. I instantly second-guessed my decision. I knew that Paul wanted more from me than I was willing to give to him, and I was afraid of what his reaction truly meant. He was still in love with me.
I found another note in my locker on Monday morning. I thought that saying yes to Paul would have stopped them, but when I opened it I found another poem from him:
'Roses are red, violets are blue,
Thank you, thank you, thank you.'
While Paul's poetry skills needed a lot of work, his sheer determination and exuberance had me smiling as I slipped the note into my bag and headed for class.
There seemed to be an air of excitement in the school. It was different than what I had felt the week of my concert. This was a different anticipation. With the dance occurring on Friday the tension between the students seemed to be gathering. Adding sexual chemistry to the mix made school an interesting experience. And a dance always brought out everyone's true feelings as each person clamored to find someone to attend with.
It was nice not to worry about the dance anymore, and instead I was focusing on what I'd need to do to prepare. I had already called Julia and she made sure that Avalon was already working on a dress for me, and Stephanie was ready to make me look glamorous for the evening. It was nice to have a support staff that could help me prepare for a dance like this. I knew that most girls my age didn't have a cadre of people ready to make them look their best, and I was grateful that I could afford them.
At lunch Emily happily reported that she had been asked by Ronan, a cute guy who had been following her around for a while. I knew that there was no way she would end up at the dance without a date, so I was happy that Paul had asked me. I still worried that Paul was expecting more from the relationship than I was willing to give him, which was pretty much nothing, but he hadn't said or done anything yet.
My biggest worry, now, was that Ethan was going to end up at the dance alone, or that he might not even attend. That in itself seemed like it would be a tragedy. I couldn't imagine not having Ethan there, but I knew that he hadn't been dating anyone and he hadn’t even had his eye on anyone.
Toward the end of the day I stopped by my locker once more to get some books for Study Hall and I was surprised to find Ethan there waiting for me.
"Hi, Ethan," I greeted him with a smile while I opened my locker. "I thought you would be heading to Chorus."
"I am," he replied. "But I was hoping to talk to you first."
"Okay," I said. "Is it about Sarah?"
He looked at me quizzically, which left me confused. I figured that he was going to tell me about Chorus, but his reaction told me I was wrong.
"No," he told me. "I...It's..." he stammered. I'd never seen Ethan so nervous before. "I was wondering, since Emily has a date now, if you still wanted to go to the dance, you know, just the two of us."
I opened my mouth, but found myself lost for words. I thought Ethan knew that Paul had asked me. I didn't realize that Ethan had just planned on coming with Emily and me. I didn't know that he was counting on the two of us to accompany him, and now we had left him hanging.
"I'm sorry, Ethan," I said, and watched him deflate. "I thought you knew. Paul asked me to go with him, and he looked so excited I couldn't say no."
"Oh," he said, and took a step back. "I...I didn't know."
He looked pained, and started walking away.
"I'm sorry!" I called after him. He shrugged, but didn't look back. I couldn't figure out why he was so upset. Yes, Emily and I had left him without someone to go with, but he was a good looking guy. I was sure he could ask a number of different girls and get a ‘yes’ from them.
I was distracted all through Study Hall, and when Ethan showed up at my car after school he barely made eye contact with me. He hardly said a word to me on the way home and for the next couple of days. I was really worried about him, and I didn't know what to do.
Finally, on Wednesday, Jane told me that Ethan had asked her to the dance, and I hoped that would bring him out of his funk. He smiled at me after school, which made me happy, but I knew he still felt betrayed. I never would have said yes to Paul's invitation if I knew that it would strain our friendship this much.
"Maybe he wanted to go with you," Emily said while we were trying on the dresses that Avalon Sirocco had made for us Thursday afternoon.
"I guess," I replied. "But he's been moping since the summer. He needs to find a girlfriend."
I saw Emily roll her eyes as I turned to my reflection. The red dress fit me perfectly, just like everything Avalon designed for me. It was nice having connections. I knew that a lot of my classmates were clamoring to get dresses from her, and I was very happy that Avalon’s business had picked up. But none of my classmates were going to be able to have a one-of-a-kind dress from her for the dance like I would.
"Did I ever tell you how glad I am that you are a superstar?" Emily said laughing. "Nobody else could have gotten me a dress like this."
I laughed along with her and gazed at the dark green number that offset her eyes so well. She looked spectacular, even without the flawless makeup Stephanie would give us for the dance tomorrow.
"I am too," I replied, and turned back to my own reflection. Sarah always looked amazing, but it was nice to see me, Megan, shine for once.
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I nervously exited the vehicle when we pulled up in front of Paul's house, and the front door opened before I made it even halfway up the walk. Paul came rushing out excitedly, and I once more thought about calling this whole thing off.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.29 - The Autumn Ball by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: November 26, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.29 - The Autumn Ball
School on Friday was a blur, but I likely wasn't the only one who had other things on my mind. There was something about this dance that enticed me more than any other school dance I'd gone to. Perhaps it was because this was the first time that I was going to attend one as Megan. Before, I had always been a bit awkward and unsure of where I fit into the world. But now, with all of the things that I had undergone over the last six months, I knew exactly who I was.
Before I got up on stage at Scott Crawford's house the night that he offered me a contract, I had questioned where my life was supposed to go. I had questioned who I really was. Ever since the accident Mary had been working with me to help me find my place in the world.
Now, with a multi-platinum selling album, a very successful concert tour under my belt, and legions of fans wherever I went I no longer questioned my purpose. Even if Sarah Carerra hadn't become a main part of my life I couldn't imagine living in the dreary world I had been plodding through. Everything seemed so much more vibrant now! So much more real. Sarah Carerra's career could end tomorrow and I'd still be happy with where my life had taken me.
But I also knew that not everyone felt the same way about me. As Stephanie finished up my makeup for the evening I knew that going to this dance might be a bad idea. While nobody had done anything to me in quite a while at school, I could still see the disdain in some of their eyes. The barbs and comments that had been a daily occurrence at the beginning of the school year had become rare, but I knew they were still on the tips of the tongues of some of my schoolmates.
For the most part they had left me alone, but I hadn't done anything to make them question who or what I was. I didn't force what had happened to me into any of their faces. Now, however, I was going to show up at the dance with Paul. I wasn't really worried about what they were going to say to me, and I knew that there would be enough chaperones around to prevent anybody from doing anything physical.
I was, however, worried about what they would do or say to Paul.
Despite the strides that he had made in coming out of his shell over the summer, I wasn't entirely convinced that he was as strong as he appeared. He was definitely more well-rounded. His bravery to come to my CD-signing had done a lot for him. The way he handled the publicity after he recognized me at the OC Fair concert was also impressive. But I couldn't predict what would happen if our classmates turned their ire I had felt so keenly at the end of the last school year upon him.
Once again I began to second guess my decision to accompany Paul to the dance. In some ways it would have been better if I had gone with Ethan. Everyone at school knew that we were just friends, and they likely wouldn't have done anything more to him than they already had. Yes, Paul and I were friends too, but everyone knew we didn't normally hang out all the time. When they would see me enter on Paul's arm they would immediately know that he had asked me to be his date.
All of these things were on my mind as Emily and I posed for pictures for our parents and then entered the limo that was waiting for us. Both Paul and Ronan were unhappy that we, the girls, were picking them up this evening, but neither of them had a standing contract with a limo company to provide limousine service whenever it was needed.
We stopped at Ronan's house first, and I waited patiently as Emily went up to his door and posed for pictures with him. Eventually they made their way back to the limo. Ronan seemed impressed when he slid inside.
"Wow!" he said. "I guess having Sarah Carerra as a friend pays really well!"
"It doesn't hurt," I replied while smiling back. I didn't know Ronan very well, but he seemed like a nice guy and Emily couldn't stop smiling.
I nervously exited the vehicle when we pulled up in front of Paul's house, and the front door opened before I made it even halfway up the walk. Paul came rushing out excitedly, and I once more thought about calling this whole thing off. The look he was giving me was not one of friendship, and I did not want this relationship to go any further than that.
"Megan, you are gorgeous!" he cried out, and his mother, who had followed him out, vigorously nodded in agreement.
"Thank you. You clean up pretty well too." Paul was wearing a tuxedo that had definitely been tailored for him. I wondered if he had purchased it specifically to impress me this evening or if he had it for some other reason.
"Paul!" came a yell from his house. I looked over Paul's shoulder to see his mom standing there with a camera. Paul turned and led me back up the sidewalk to where she was waiting for us.
"Hi, Mrs. Johnson," I said as we approached.
"Hi, Megan," she smiled back at me. "Thank you for agreeing to accompany Paul. He's been talking about this dance non-stop for weeks now."
"Mom!" Paul whined. Obviously he didn't want me to know how excited he was. Sadly, I already knew and it concerned me.
Paul's mom frowned at him, and I knew that she too was worried about his feelings for me. Both of us knew how fragile Paul's self-esteem was. He had made leaps and bounds over the summer, but he was still the same shy boy I'd had as a Biology partner.
"Don't do anything to embarrass her, Paul," his mom said in a tone that indicated it was a reminder. "She's been through enough this year already."
"Mom!" Paul practically screamed this time, but I couldn't fully suppress the chuckle that came to my lips. It was the right of moms everywhere, perhaps their obligation, to embarrass their sons in front of their dates. Paul wasn't getting out of this one. "We have to go," he finally stated, hoping to get away from her.
It worked, somewhat. We still had to take some pictures, and I had to make her promise to send copies to my mother. Then it was back into the limo.
The ride to Alfredo's, where we had a reservation for dinner, was short and somewhat awkward. Ronan still seemed interested in my connection to Sarah, but he definitely had nothing in common with Paul. It was up to Emily and me to keep the conversation going. The same problem persisted through dinner, though it eased up slightly.
By the time we arrived at the school it was apparent that both Ronan and Paul were looking forward to separating Emily and me for a while. I really didn't want to be left alone with Paul, but I also knew I didn't have a choice. Paul was a great guy, but his attitude toward me had turned more and more in the direction that I didn't want it to go. He was starting to treat me like we were a couple, and I knew that wasn't going to happen.
Entering the sea of people that made up the student body was almost a relief, as he had to concentrate on moving through the crowd instead of staring at me. He dragged me straight to the dance floor, and we spent the first few dances in silence.
Paul stared at me the entire time, oblivious to the sideways glances we were receiving from those around us. The looks seemed to be a mixture of surprise, envy, and a small amount of disgust. I didn't know how to take the attention we were receiving, so I decided to ignore it.
As we continued to dance, it seemed that Paul remembered that we were out in public together; he seemed to be reverting into his old self a bit. He was nervous - I knew that. But he also seemed to be avoiding eye contact with anyone, including me. I did my best to try to engage him in small talk, but all he would do was briefly look at me, smile, and then give me a short response.
Eventually he seemed to tire of dancing, and we made our way off the dance floor and found ourselves at a table with Emily, Ronan, Ethan, and Jane. I had hoped that the night would feel less awkward with my other friends nearby, but the tension at the table was palpable. It took me a while to realize that it was Ethan who seemed to be upset with me. He was smiling and talking like we were still friends, but he was pulling away from me if I moved close, averting his gaze when I looked at him, and doting on Jane much more than I knew he would normally do.
Emily had also noticed the change in his attitude, but she seemed to be as confused about his reactions as I was. I wondered if perhaps he was upset that we hadn't invited him to go to dinner with us. But both of us knew that Ethan and Jane were going to dinner with her two best friends and their dates. Maybe he had realized that he didn't like Jane the way he thought he did, but that didn't explain his reaction either.
I was left wondering when a young freshman approached our table.
"Hi, Megan," he said, and he was much more nervous than Paul had been all night.
"Hi, Stephen," I replied with a smile that nearly toppled him. "Are you ready for that dance?"
"Um..." was his response. I could tell that he wanted to say yes, but like me he had seen Paul's reaction to my question.
"What dance?" Paul asked worriedly. "You are on a date with me, Megan."
I turned to Paul, and I was upset. Paul was being much more possessive than I felt he should. We were not really dating - we were only friends! I knew he wanted to be more, but I had already told him that was unlikely to happen anytime soon.
"I promised Stephen a dance," I told Paul. "We'll be back shortly."
I reached my hand out to Stephen, and he took it with more reverence than he should have. I heard Paul start to protest, but Emily placed her hand on his arm to silence him. I doubted that he would be happy about this, but it wasn't his decision - it was mine.
"Are you having fun?" I asked Stephen as he led me out onto the dance floor.
"I am now," he said with a gleam in his eye.
I held back the sigh I felt at having another boy besotted with me. Instead I replied. "Good."
Thankfully, the song that was playing wasn't a very slow song, and we were able to dance together without a lot of touching.
There were many pairs of eyes on Stephen and me as we continued to dance. A number of other freshmen kept eyeing us, and once I had finished dancing with Stephen they were there hoping for their chance. I had to let them down gently because even from the middle of the dance floor I saw the frown on Paul's face.
As Stephen escorted me back to the table I knew that tonight had been a mistake. It was apparent to me that Paul believed that we had taken our relationship to the next level, and we hadn't. The jealousy that he was showing was not a good trait, and I was sad that it had been my acceptance that had brought it out in him. I wasn't entirely sure what to do to alleviate the situation, and before I could say anything he had dragged me back out to the dance floor. I knew he was trying to prove the point that I was his date, but I was becoming frustrated with him.
The song we were dancing to ended and a slow number started to come from the speakers around the room. I suppressed my sigh and let Paul place his hand on my hip. He was staring into my eyes, and I didn't like the emotions that were roiling around in there.
"Do you remember what we talked about earlier this summer?" I asked Paul softly so the other couples around us couldn't hear.
"Yes," he said, and there was an excitement in his voice.
"It hasn't changed, Paul," I dropped the bombshell. I not only watched the fire in his eyes dim I also felt the clenching of his hands on my body. I knew it was not what he wanted to hear, and I knew this wasn't a good place to talk about this. But I just couldn't let him continue thinking that I was his girlfriend.
"Why?" he asked.
"I'm still not ready," I told him the truth. "I'm still trying to figure out who I am." I echoed the same words that I had told him over the summer. "And even if I was, I can't guarantee that we would be a good match."
Paul started to pull away from me at those words, and it was my turn to clench onto him.
"Look, Paul, I'm not telling you this to hurt you," I said, but I knew he was in pain. "I'm telling you this so that you have a chance to prepare for the possibility that I won't be able to return the feelings that you are showing me."
"Never?" he asked, and his eyes started to bead with tears.
"I don't know, Paul," I said, trying to pick my words carefully to prevent those tears from falling. "Maybe some day. But I'm not there now. Maybe I will never be there. I think you are amazing, Paul. I think that you will make some girl really lucky someday, but that may not be me and you need to know that."
"But Megan, I love you," he whispered so quietly that I had to strain to hear him. I knew he was embarrassed to admit that in front of our classmates.
"I know you feel that way now," I told him. "But honestly, Paul, I'm the only girl you've ever really talked to. It's natural that you might feel that way."
"But--" he started.
"But you need to expand your horizons," I interrupted. "There are some great girls at this school, and one of them may be the girl you are looking for in me."
"I don't need another girl," he said. "I have you."
I sighed, and we fell into silence for a few minutes as I tried to figure out how to reply to that.
"I will always be your friend," I told him, and I could see him wince at the word ‘friend’. "Maybe someday I will be more. But I can't be more for you right now, okay?" He nodded, almost imperceptibly, and I continued. "I know this hurts. I know you don't want to talk to any other girls. But you need to. Even if you don't find somebody else and something happens between us later it will help you grow. Can you do that for me?"
He nodded again, and then the tear slipped out of his eye.
The song came to a conclusion, and I knew that Paul wasn't up for another song, not after what I had just unloaded on him. We turned to head back to the table and came face to face with someone I had hoped to avoid tonight.
"Well, well, if I didn't know better I'd say you just broke his heart," Amber Hartfield said and jabbed Paul in the chest with her finger. She was holding a cup of something in her other hand, and a vague whiff of the air around her indicated that it had been spiked with something.
"Leave us alone, Amber," I said and tried to push her to the side. She didn't like that.
"Don't touch me, freak!" she nearly screamed. If people hadn't been watching us before they were certainly paying attention now.
"Amber, what did I ever do to you?" I asked her. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"
"Leave you alone?!" she screamed. "You are ruining my life and you expect me to leave you alone?"
"How am I ruining your life?" I replied while trying to keep my voice calm. She was starting to make me upset, and I knew that the situation could devolve quickly if I wasn't careful.
Amber let out a feral scream of hatred. I was totally caught off guard and surprised at the intensity of her feelings toward me. The next thing I knew the hand holding her cup was moving, and I knew I was about to be soaked in alcohol. My only thought as I watched her arm move in what felt like slow motion was how I was going to explain that to my parents.
"No!" someone screamed, and Denise, one of Amber's best friends and who had been standing by as Amber confronted me, pushed Amber's arm away. The contents of her cup barely missed me, and splattered onto the floor a short distance away.
"What is wrong with you?!" Amber's ire turned on her friend. "Why would you do that?!"
"She's wearing a Sirocco!" Denise shot back like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"We're all wearing Siroccos!" Amber shot back. "Do you really think that I care?"
"No!" Denise yelled. "I don't think you care. But her dress is worth ten times what ours are worth and I'm not going to let you ruin something that expensive, no matter who is wearing it!"
I stood there, boggling at this turn of events! Yes, most of the girls at this dance tonight were wearing dresses made by Sarah Carerra's favorite designer. Yes, my dress had been much more expensive than anyone else here had likely paid for theirs. That kind of privilege was one of the perks of being a multi-platinum award-winning pop star. But never in my life had I thought that it would save me from being drenched by somebody's drink!
Avalon would have killed me if I let something like that happen to the dress she had made specifically for me. But then again she still thought she had made the dress for Sarah. She didn't know the truth and Julia and I had been reluctant to tell her.
While the two of them were fighting I grabbed Paul's arm and left the dance floor as quickly as I could. I didn't want to be around when Amber was ready to confront me again.
The night was starting to wind down and there weren't many dances left when I found myself heading out to the dance floor once more. This time, with Paul's permission, it was Ethan who was leading me through the crowd until we found a place to start dancing. Naturally it had to be a slower song and I immediately felt weird when he put his arm on my waist and started leading me around.
"This is kind of weird, isn't it?" he asked after seeing my reaction.
"Yeah," I replied and found myself laughing. Even if it was weird there was something natural about it. I had known Ethan for a long time. We had been best friends for almost as long as I had been alive. And I was comfortable with him. He was my friend and I knew for the first time that night that I was dancing with a boy who wasn't in love with me. It was a refreshing experience.
"I'm sorry about tonight," he finally said, apologizing for the attitude he'd been displaying. I still didn't know why he was upset, but I was glad that he was getting over it.
"It's okay," I replied. "I'm sorry that Emily and I abandoned you," I took a stab in the dark at why he had been in such a bad mood this week.
"It's not your fault," he told me. "I should have known that she would get a date. I was surprised that you agreed to come with Paul."
There was a questioning look on his face as he asked the question, and I knew he was looking for insight into why I had said yes.
"That was a mistake," I said. "I know that now."
Relief washed over Ethan, confusing me for a moment. Then I realized that he probably felt Paul and I wouldn't make a good couple.
"Maybe I should have just come with you," I admitted, and he smiled widely. "I mean, I just wanted to come with a friend, and not someone who was falling in love with me. I definitely picked the wrong person for that."
His smile dimmed, but didn't go out. Likely he agreed with me.
"Well, if nothing else I'm glad we got to dance together, even if it is just once," he told me. "It's been a difficult summer. I haven't always been the friend that you wanted me to be. But I'm here for you now, no matter what you need. I thought I knew you before this summer, but I've come to realize that you were so much more."
He paused, and I didn’t know where his thoughts were going. His smile widened again, and then he looked me straight in the eyes.
"You are more extraordinary than I ever knew, Megan," he stated. "I am honored to call you a friend and I will always be at your side. Always."
It was my turn to smile and I felt my lips spread wide as I looked back into his eyes. I had almost forgotten how close the two of us were. We had strained our relationship over the summer, and it started when I had kissed him. I wasn't going to make that mistake again. We had rekindled our friendship and become even closer than we had ever been before, and I never wanted to let that go.
"Thank you, Paul," I said as he led me up the sidewalk and to my front door. The limo was dropping off Emily and me first before taking the guys home.
"No, thank you, Megan," he replied. "I know that you didn't want to say ‘yes’ to me, but I'm glad you did."
"I never didn't want to say yes," I told him. "I was just...worried."
"I know," was his only reply. "I think I understand now. I'm sorry I made you worry."
We went up the last step and I turned toward him. I was worried again, hoping that this moment didn't become awkward. Paul had shown how much he had matured after our talk on the dance floor. He had backed away, but instead of hating me like I feared he would, he seemed to be considering what I had told him.
Before I could say anything to him he reached out and took my right hand before guiding it straight to his lips! The soft pressure on the back of my hand was tender and not rushed, and I knew that he still loved me. But he wasn't going to push the issue further.
I was left speechless as he smiled at me. Then he pulled away and gently let go of my hand. He turned, and without looking back he headed for the limo.
I was left wondering what that meant.
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The smiles that greeted me when I followed Scott inside the control room told me that Sam's Town was excited to work with me.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.30 - Collaboration by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: December 3, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.30 - Collaboration
I woke up Saturday morning happy. Things in my life seemed to be going well. Paul seemed to be growing again, and hopefully he would find someone who could return his feelings. I had cemented my friendship with Ethan again. And I had an appointment with Mary to once again tidy up all the loose ends in my life. I always felt better after spending time talking with her.
My life became complicated once again after my appointment. I drove to Kate Abernathy's studio to learn the choreography for my performance at the American Music Awards which would be held in just over a week. After much debate about what song I was going to perform, we decided to release 'Your Time Will Come' as a new single. This would be the first song released that was not from my debut album.
We were also planning concert tours for next year. I had meetings to work on a song for a movie, a collaboration with Sam's Town, and the dress rehearsals for the music awards. Then I had only one week off for Thanksgiving before the chorus and I would be in the recording studio to record the songs for the Christmas album. Finally we would need to start rehearsals for the Christmas concert. I loved my life, but there were some days I felt overwhelmed at just how much work it took to be Sarah Carerra.
On Sunday I had more reason to smile when 'Ever After' finally nabbed the #1 spot! For the past few weeks I had worried that it would not reach the top of the charts, so I promptly celebrated with Emily within moments of ‘Ever After’ claiming the top spot. She deserved to be a part of the success that my career had brought me, and Emily cried as she heard our song on top of the charts.
School on Monday was a mixture of awkwardness and happiness. Most of the students were still gushing about how much fun they had at the dance, and I felt the same way. But a wall had been erected between Paul and me. I didn't know if he was aware of what he was doing, but he had pulled away from me in his attempt to do what I had asked of him. At lunch I saw him eying a few girls whom he seemed to want to talk to, but he never tried. It was only day one, but it was a start. Hopefully, he would be able to initiate some light conversations with one or more of the girls.
I spent Monday evening in the studio recording 'Your Time Will Come' with the band so that we could release it in time for the American Music Awards. Then on Tuesday I rushed home after school, changed into Sarah, grabbed Sparkle, and headed down to my office to meet with the movie producers that wanted me to write a song for them.
When I arrived I found my dad, Amy, my lawyer Josh and Scott in the conference room talking to two men and a woman whom I assumed were from the movie.
"Hi everyone," I greeted and shook the hands of the three people I didn't know before sitting down at my regular seat at the head of the table. "Sorry I'm late."
"That's no problem, Sarah," one of the men said. "My name is Elton Roche and I am the executive producer for the movie. With me today are Cameron Dean, the director, and Jennifer Rainier, who is the sound editor in charge of music.”
"Pleased to meet you," I replied while smiling at each of them. "So what did I miss?"
"We have been working on the contract portion of the deal," Scott said. "Specifically we have agreed that you will retain ownership of the song with Olympic Records as your recording agency. The production company of the movie will have exclusive rights to use the song in their movie and will pay the normal royalties involved."
I nodded. I didn't really need the details. I knew Scott, Josh, Amy, and my dad closely and I implicitly trusted that they would have worked out what was best for me and my company.
"That just leads us to the content of the song," Elton said, which was something that I could actually help with.
"What do you have in mind?" I asked him.
"The movie is a romantic comedy about a CIA agent who for years has been lying to his wife about what he really does. But then one day his work follows him home and he has no choice but to protect his family. What we are looking for from you is a main song that will be used at various parts throughout the show and as the closing piece at the end. Jennifer, do you have anything to add?"
"Yes," she replied. "We are looking for a happy, upbeat song that we can play the other musical selections around. We want this piece to be iconic, yet still recognizable as a Sarah Carerra song. I'd like to talk to you more in depth about it, but it would be great if we can get a general consensus today."
"Okay," I said while my mind was filling with possibilities. Suddenly one of them jumped to the forefront of my mind and elected itself the leading candidate. "What if the song had something to do with a superhero? Not in the comic book sense, but that played off how he saves the world every day when he goes to the office."
"That..." Jennifer started while looking over at her colleagues.
"Is perfect!" Elton finished for her.
"It plays into the movie very well," Cameron stated. "I really like that idea."
I smiled, and started expanding the idea inside my head.
"What jumped into my mind was basing the song from the point of view of the wife. It would kind of talk about what she sees when he leaves for work each morning. The words would likely play up the duality of how he is not only going to his job, but that his day often includes saving the world, or something."
The three of them looked at each other, and each of them was nodding, so it looked like they approved of my idea. While they were discussing how a song like that could fit into their movie, I pulled Sparkle from its case and set it on my lap. Then I started playing the short chord that was playing over and over in my head.
Everyone in the room stopped and listened as I played it a few times. When I was finished I looked back up at them.
"Something like that?" I asked.
"Definitely!" Jennifer stated immediately. "That is absolutely amazing that you can sit down and give me exactly what I wanted that quickly!"
I was really surprised by her spontaneous reaction, and I smiled at her compliment. "It just came with the song idea," I told her, but she still seemed impressed.
"I liked it too," Elton said. "Cameron?"
"Yes," Cameron replied while nodding. "Expand on that and I think we are going to have a hit on our hands."
"Great!" I replied and placed Sparkle back in its case. "The only concern I have is timing," I told them. "I'm likely going to go straight home and start working on the song. But I may not be able to give you anything until next week."
"That will be okay," Elton said immediately. "We are aware of your busy schedule this week. It is an honor to be working with you, Sarah. The wait will be worth it."
I smiled again at his compliment, and I saw my dad doing the same.
After the meeting ended, I spent some time talking alone with Jennifer to help narrow down the "sound" of the song to her specifications. It was weird to be putting constraints on my creativity, but the process also helped to flesh out the idea. I had half of the notes and many of the lyrics for the song written before we were finished.
By the end of the night I had expanded the song to a rough piece that was starting to sound really good to me. I was excited to know that one of my songs would be used in a movie.
Wednesday and Thursday were hectic. After a full day of school I was embroiled in the turmoil that came with a stressful rehearsal. We always put in long days when rehearsing for one of my concerts, but we had done our best not to wear anyone out. But for the American Music Awards, much like the VMA's, my time was at the mercy of the show's producers. While I had a scheduled time for rehearsing on their stage, they were very strict about it. We did our best to prepare for Sunday's performance, but we could have used more practice.
Friday was a different experience altogether. I had been excused from school by my parents, so I drove down to Olympic Records to record my collaboration with Sam's Town. They too were represented by Olympic Records, which meant that we would be working together in familiar surroundings.
When I pulled into the parking lot, I sighed immediately at the number of people surrounding the entrance to the record company. There were always one or two individuals at the entrance, but today it looked like there was a whole cadre of photographers and reporters there. I wasn't sure if they were waiting for me or someone else, but they would definitely take advantage of the opportunity.
I pulled into one of the parking spots reserved for the artists, which got their attention. Cameras were already snapping before I had even fully exited my car. I smiled for them and headed for the door.
"Sarah!" someone screamed immediately, and I prepared myself for the onrush that followed. "What are you doing here today?"
They weren't here for me, but they were certainly excited to see me anyway.
"I'm recording a collaboration with Sam's Town," I told the lady who had asked the question. We weren't hiding what we were doing and this would be great publicity for both of us.
There were a few more questions yelled toward me and I tried to answer them as much as I could. I also played nice and posed for pictures a couple of times before I was able to slip into the lobby of the building.
I sighed, but then smiled when I found Scott waiting for me.
"Good morning, Sarah," he greeted.
"Hi, Scott," I replied. "You could have warned me about the zoo," I said while pointing back toward the entrance.
"Sorry," he apologized. "We have a number of high profile clients here today, including you, and it always draws a crowd."
I nodded. This wasn't the first time I had crossed a line of photographers and reporters to enter a building. Spending all day waiting outside of a building didn’t seem like a very fun job to me, but it probably paid their bills.
"Sam's Town is already setting up in one of the recording studios," Scott informed me and gestured toward the hallway further into the building. We started walking toward the studios. "I'll be sitting in for the day but this is their show and I won't be producing. Is that okay with you?"
"Do you trust their producer?" I asked immediately.
A smile lit on Scott's face at my question. "Absolutely! I've known Carl for a long time and he will do a great job. He would be a good replacement for me in the future, if something happens."
"Nothing is going to happen to you though, right?" I asked, both slightly serious and slightly teasing. I couldn't imagine not working with Scott.
"I hope not," he said. "It's been nice to spend time in the studio. I wouldn't want to give that up again. I will produce for you as long as you want me to."
"Then we have a long relationship ahead of us," I said and watched as his smile widened even further.
It didn't take long before we arrived at a set of studios that I had never been in before. I hadn't realized it before now, but there was a tiered structure to their recording studios. Even from the beginning they had seen my potential and I had been given a large, posh studio to work in. Sam's Town, while successful, did not draw in the money that I did and the studio they were using wasn't quite as nice as what I was used to. But it was still nice, and the smiles that greeted me when I followed Scott inside the control room told me that they were excited to work with me. I was also excited to work with them.
"Hello, Scott," an older gentleman greeted Scott from where he was sitting in front of the control panel. The band was in the actual studio, but they started for the control room immediately. The man at the control panel turned to me. "Sarah, it's nice to finally meet you. I'm Carl Jorgen."
"The pleasure is mine," I replied. "You come highly recommended, and it will be an honor to work with you today."
"I'm flattered," he replied and shot a humorous smile at Scott. The members of Sam's Town started entering the control room, and we turned toward them.
"Sarah!" one of them greeted me excitedly. "I'm so glad you agreed to this!"
"I am too!" I replied back trying to match his excitement. I knew that this person was Aaron Gold, the lead vocalist and guitarist of the band. He was the face of the group, and was easily recognizable.
"I'm Aaron," he said unnecessarily. Then he started pointing to the other members of the band. I thought I knew who each of them was, but he introduced them anyway. "That's Breanne, Jason, and Steven."
"It's nice to meet all of you," I greeted them while shaking their hands. I knew Breanne played the keyboard and added backing vocals to Aaron's performance, Jason was the bass player, and Steven played the drums.
"Do you like the song?" Aaron asked next. I knew that he had written it. The sheet music for the song had been given to me almost a week ago so that I could learn it and be ready to record today.
"Very much so," I told him. "I think it's going to turn out great."
"Me too," he said. "I think it's one of the best songs I've written and I'm pleased that we get to perform it with such a wonderful singer."
I grinned at his praise, but we quickly fell into small talk for a few minutes as Scott and Carl worked together to finish setting up the studio. Then I performed my sound check. The rest of the band had already had their sound checks, and soon we were ready to start working on recording the song.
The song was entitled 'Always'. It was a duet and talked about how much fun we had when we were together. It was a very upbeat, happy type of song and the music for it, when I had played it on my guitar, had sounded really good. I couldn't wait to hear what it sounded like with all of the instruments included.
I started by sitting in the control room while they finished recording the music, which they had been doing when I arrived. It wasn't the most interesting thing to do, but I'd sat and waited before. Besides, the music sounded excellent and Carl did a good job of working with the band to get the sound he wanted from them.
It didn't take too long before we were ready for the vocals. I entered a booth opposite Aaron where we could record our singing. Once I had put the headset on I could hear Carl talking.
"Alright, Sarah. I'm sure you've done this plenty of times, so we'll get straight to work," he said. "Do you have any questions?"
"No," I replied. "I'm ready."
"Alright, here we go," he said followed immediately by the opening notes of the song through the headset.
I counted myself in, and then started singing. Once I had finished my short piece, Aaron went through a similar line before he took full control of the song for the first verse. I joined him for another short section before we launched into the chorus together. Then it was my turn to shine as I sang the second verse before we joined together to finish out the song.
"Excellent!" Carl's voice echoed over the headset after we finished singing. I could see the smile on his face from here, and Scott's was almost as big. "Now," he continued. "If we could just get a little more sunshine on the second verse."
I was exhausted by the time I arrived home late in the afternoon. I always was beat after a productive but long day in the studio. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Singing with Aaron and the rest of the band had been a lot of fun. I didn't have many "friends" in the entertainment business yet, mostly because I kept to myself. But now I had four more.
Saturday was a much easier day. More than anything else, I spent my session with Mary talking about how excited I was about everything I had coming up in Sarah's life. Then I got to rest for most of the day and work on the song I was writing for the movie. The only appointment I had was a final fitting with Avalon for the dress I'd be wearing tomorrow. I couldn't believe that I was going to be attending a second awards show already! Sometimes it felt like Sarah had come into existence only yesterday. But at the same time I felt like I had been singing in front of crowds forever.
All I knew for sure is that I didn't want it to end.
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Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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"Are you ready for this?" I asked Ethan as the limo approached the drop off point for the red carpet.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.31 - The American Music Awards by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: December 10, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.31 - The American Music Awards
On Sunday I woke up excited for the awards show. But after returning home from church my day started to take a turn for the worse that left me worried about what would happen later that night.
It started with the weekly countdown. 'Ever After' had managed to claim the top spot on the list last week. But this week it had already given up the title. It had fallen hard, coming in at #6.
I knew when we released the song that it wouldn't have the same impact in the market as my other singles. The fairy tale nature of the song, which really gave it an ethereal feel that I liked so much, limited the fan base that liked it. The song was by no means a failure. Very few songs ever make it to the top spot on the countdown, and I was extremely happy that a song that meant so much to Emily and me had garnered as big of a following as it had. But I was still sad that it wasn't as popular as one of my more mainstream popular hits.
I sighed, but I didn't have much time to contemplate the impact of the large drop the song had made in the charts, because Julia and Stephanie had arrived to help me get ready for the awards show. Alone.
I missed sharing this moment with Emily. We'd had a lot of fun just getting ready for the Video Music Awards, let alone the great time we had at the actual show. But this time I was taking Ethan with me, and he did not need Stephanie’s services. Julia had made sure to attire him in a very expensive suit, but he was dressing in another room.
After Stephanie had finished with my makeup Julia helped me into the dress that Avalon had designed for the evening. It was a black dress that fell to my knees. What gave the dress that 'Glam' factor required of all of Sarah's clothes was the shimmering effect that the fabric of the dress provided as I moved. It was subtle, but oh so very eye catching.
"Thank you both," I said once I was ready. Their smiles told me that they worked with me for much more than just the money. I considered both of them close friends now. We spent enough time together.
"It is our pleasure," Julia replied while Stephanie nodded vigorously.
I smiled back and led them out of the room. I continued down the hall and into our front room where I found my parents waiting with Ethan. He looked unbelievably handsome in the black suit he was wearing. He stood up and gave me the same approving look that I had been giving him.
"You look beautiful, honey," my mom spoke first. I turned my attention to her and my mind drifted immediately back to the night I had attended the Tween Awards with Josh. Back then both of my parents were worried about letting me out of the house with a handsome young man. My life had changed completely that night as I came to the realization of who and what I really was after returning home and talking with my mom.
"Thank you, Mom," I replied, smiling.
But tonight, they had no reservations whatsoever about letting me out of the house once more to walk the red carpet with a boy. Why should they be? Not only had they known Ethan for nearly my entire life, but also tonight was not a date. I shivered slightly at the thought of going on a date with Ethan. That would be weird - very weird. No, tonight was an outing as friends. Just because he was a boy and I was a girl didn't mean that it was a date. I had promised him the chance to attend an awards show with me just like I had promised Emily.
The look he was giving me when I turned back to him, however, was not what I would expect to see from a friend. I couldn't fully read what it meant, but it reminded me so much of the night I had kissed him after my first concert that I worried about him. That kiss - those feelings - had sent him running to a summer camp for weeks. I had thought that I had ruined our friendship that night, and I was starting to feel the same way now.
"Are you okay?" I asked him.
"Yeah," he replied. "It's just...”
"Weird?" I finished for him after he had trailed off.
"Yes," he said, laughing at the same time. I smiled at the icebreaker, and I hoped it was enough to keep the evening light and carefree. I didn't want him to feel out of place with me. I didn't want him to even consider running away again. I knew that we had a strong relationship. We had cemented that a few days ago at the dance. But there was still a fragility to it that revolved around the new dynamic that becoming Megan had thrown into the mix. We were teenagers, and there was always some sexual anxiety involved when two members of the opposite sex were together. Normally I had Emily there to offset that anxiety and to remind us of our friendship.
But tonight we would be alone.
Sure, we would be in a large audience broadcast all over the world. But we would still be alone together. The last time we had been alone together I had dressed up to look as much like my old self as I could when I went over to his house after he had returned from the summer camp. Tonight I was wearing a slinky little dress that played upon my feminine wiles to help increase my image. I didn't know how he was going to react to that.
"It doesn't mean anything," I said quickly, trying to defuse the situation. "We're just friends, right?"
He frowned.
I backtracked immediately. "I mean, it means SOMETHING," I reiterated. "But it's not a date. Right?"
He was silent for a few moments, and I knew I had blown it. My goal tonight was to not bring up the difference in our relationship compared to what it was before. I wanted him to remember that I was his friend first and foremost, not a girl whom he was still getting to know. But I was still so bad at keeping his mind off of that. I could see it in his eyes, and I didn't know what to do.
"Just friends," he finally stated with a smile and held his hand out to me. "Are you ready to go?"
"Yes," I replied, thankfully.
I breathed a sigh of relief as we walked toward the front door. But when he opened it we came face to face with a young boy I had never seen before. His eyes went wide immediately as he recognized me, and his mouth dropped open, but no words came out.
"Hi," I told him as Ethan pulled me forward and around him. I also couldn't resist the temptation to kiss the poor boy on the cheek as I passed. He just stared back, frozen in place as we continued down the walk.
"Hello George," I heard my mom say behind us. The humor in her voice was quite evident, and I knew she had seen the kiss. "Austin's in his room."
Once Ethan and I had slipped into the waiting limo we burst into laughter. It took us a while to calm down again, but when we did I found the Ethan of old staring back at me.
That made me smile all over again and brought some of the excitement I had lost back into my day.
"Are you ready for this?" I asked Ethan as the limo approached the drop off point for the red carpet.
"Probably not," he said, but he had a smile on his face and in his eyes unlike the look of terror that Emily had when she was in the same position. "But it should be fun."
I smiled back at him. I had taken Emily to many more events than I had taken Ethan to. That was partially because she was a girl. I couldn't imagine Ethan at one of the Starshine parties. It was nice to share this experience with him.
The limo came to a stop and the door was opened from the outside. Because Ethan was at the door closer to the curb he was the first one to exit the car. Cheers erupted from a crowd that was located nearby. They didn't care who he was, he was there. I watched him casually wave to the crowd, and their noise died down some when they realized they didn't know who he was.
He took their attention in stride and then turned back toward the limo and offered me his hand. I looked up at him as he helped me out and I immediately knew that he was having fun. There was a light in his eyes that I hadn't seen in a while. He was smiling back at me with one of the biggest smiles that I'd ever seen from him.
The cheers erupted again as I emerged from the car. People recognized me, and their noise showed it. Once I was on my feet I waved to the crowd like Ethan had before turning toward the red carpet.
Ethan was standing there, waiting for me. He had a goofy look on his face when he held his arm out for me that made me laugh, but I slipped my arm in his and we began walking forward.
"This is insane!" he whispered into my ear over the noise around us. He was grinning widely as he looked from side to side. I could tell that he was impressed, and every time he caught sight of someone famous he nearly swooned.
We stopped at a number of places to get our picture taken. I tried to keep Ethan near me as often as I could. He kindly stepped to the side at the few places that wanted pictures of me alone. But not once did his smile ever falter.
Eventually we found ourselves being waved over toward one of the many interviewers vying for my attention. I didn't know the young lady holding the microphone, but she was standing next to a crew from a very respected entertainment television show.
"Sarah!" she greeted me excitedly as we approached. "It's so good to meet you!"
"It's nice to meet you too!" I responded excitedly. I had hoped that she would provide me with her name, but she didn't.
"I’ll get right to the question that everybody is already asking," she said. "Who is this handsome hunk on your arm tonight?"
I wasn't able to hold back the laugh that jumped almost immediately to my lips. I wasn't laughing at how much she was gushing over Ethan, but at the 'who me?' look that had jumped onto his face. It was nice to see that Ethan still had a great sense of humor in the midst of the chaos of the red carpet. I put my arm around Ethan, pulling him close to me as I responded.
"This is Xander Dailey," I replied while turning my gaze back to the girl and the camera behind her. "He's been one of my best friends since we were little kids."
"And are you enjoying the red carpet experience, Xander?" the girl asked him.
"Very much so, Gail," Xander replied. I was surprised that Ethan had recognized her, but I was also thankful that he had provided me with her name. "But I always enjoy spending time with Sarah."
He turned to me as he said that, and the look on his face confused me. He was smiling at me again, but it was a smile that I didn't normally see from him. It was the smile I usually got from the male fans that I met whenever I was dressed as Sarah.
I was speechless, but Gail filled the air with another question, oblivious to Xander’s look.
"You've been nominated for four AMAs tonight, Sarah," she said. "That's an impressive feat for someone so young. How do you handle all of the pressure that is sitting on your shoulders?"
"I try my best," I told her. "When I was first offered a recording contract I never thought that anybody would like my songs. I'm still in awe at the fans I get to meet. I just want to reach out and do whatever I can to help make their lives better. I don't do what I do for the fame or the money. I do it to see the elation on their faces as I sing, as I sign an autograph, or just in passing. It's the fans that we are honoring tonight, and I want to thank every single one of them."
"Well said," Gail replied. "Good luck tonight."
"Thank you," I told her.
Then we moved on. There were more such interviews as we continued down the red carpet. There were also more photographs being taken. Eventually we made our way into the theatre, my arm still intertwined with Ethan's.
Ethan and I were really enjoying ourselves as act after act got up on stage during the awards show. The sixth row gave us a very good view of the stage. We were even sitting close to the center. Unlike the VMAs, the American Music Awards focused more on being a performance show than an awards show. There were 17 performances with the awards intermingled in between. Ethan was having a blast watching all of the famous singers and groups perform. It was like some kind of super concert to him.
I was enjoying the show just as much as he was. The main stage had been split into three separate sections. One performer would perform on one side of the stage while the next act would set up on the other side. A small section in front of the two performance areas was used by the presenters of the awards. It had been chaos during the dress rehearsal I'd been part of last week. But luckily I really only had to show up and sing.
Clarissa Montague, one of Josh Holliday's old flames, had just finished performing when the front area of the stage lit up once more where Tommy Sinclair was waiting at the microphone. Tommy was a relatively new, though successful, actor. I had met him on the Tonight Show after I had released my album. At 22 he was also one of the hottest actors in movies these days.
"Every year we see new bands and new singers willing to provide us with new experiences and new music," Tommy told the crowd. "Tonight we honor the best of those newcomers. The nominees for New Artist of the Year are For the People," He had to pause for a moment as clapping echoed throughout the theatre. "Caleena," he continued before pausing for the crowd once again. "Shauna," he announced. "And Sarah Carerra."
It was probably just my imagination, but after Tommy called my name and the crowd started cheering and clapping once more I couldn't help but think that it was louder than the others. Even if it wasn't, the recognition from so many people still brought a smile to my face.
"And the winner is..." Tommy said before unsealing the envelope he was holding.
I waited nervously for him to speak, but it seemed like time dragged on. I had been nominated for the same category at the VMAs with each of these individuals. I had lost that award to For the People, but I hoped the tide would be turned tonight. This was likely the only award I had a chance to win tonight.
"Sarah Carerra!" Tommy said into the microphone. The crowd erupted into cheers and I felt myself take a breath. Then the smile crept onto my face and I turned to Ethan.
"You really deserve it," Ethan whispered to me. I was keenly aware that we were being watched by millions of people on TV, so when he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek I was scared about my reaction. He had never done anything like that before!
I didn't have time to contemplate why he would do that as I moved toward the aisle and then toward the stage. I had done the same thing to Josh when I had accompanied him to the Tween Awards at the beginning of the summer. It hadn't meant anything when I did it, but it had developed into something more. I knew that Ethan didn't feel that way about me, but the kiss had still been unexpected.
Once I reached the stage I took the trophy from Tommy before he too kissed me on my cheek. Then I stood before the microphone.
"Thank you!" I said immediately. The AMAs were fan voted and I wanted to make sure that they were recognized first. "Thank you to all of the fans who voted for me."
There was some cheering and clapping throughout the crowd, but my time was limited so I kept talking.
"I still can't believe that you guys like my music so much!" I told them. "But I certainly love sharing it with you guys. This one is for the fans!"
I lifted the statue, and the entire theatre erupted into noise. I knew that they wouldn't calm down soon enough for me to say anything else before my time was up so I blew them a kiss instead.
The crowd roared louder, and then I was escorted off the stage toward the gauntlet of media that followed a win.
My luck did not continue when they announced the winner for Favorite Pop/Rock Album. Travis Edmunds took that title and I sadly left my seat afterward to prepare for my performance. 'Intuition' had sold enough albums that I thought it had stood a chance to win the award, but the fans had not agreed. I would have liked to win, but I also knew that my next album, which I was already starting to compile, was going to be much better.
I found Stephanie waiting for me in my assigned dressing room - a small, curtained off area. We didn't have much time to talk while she touched up my makeup and I changed my dress, and then I hurriedly made my way to the stage. I found the band there quickly putting the finishing touches on setting up their equipment. Tim, the man in charge of taking care of Sparkle at all of my concerts, was with them and he quickly helped me slip the strap of the guitar over my head before I moved into place.
The lights that we had used to get ready faded, leaving us in darkness. The large barrier that they placed in front of the unused portion of the stage lifted, and I saw many members of the audience peering in. It was too dark for them to identify us, but I knew they were trying. I had tried to see who was performing every time one of the barriers had opened for a performance.
But the crowd’s focus was diverted as a spotlight shone down on someone on the far side of the front stage. The crowd started clapping for a bit before they calmed down enough to let the person in the spotlight speak.
"The next performer has managed to capture the hearts of many people worldwide in a very short time," Tracy Hall said. Tracy’s current crime drama was one of the most watched TV shows this season. "Her music first graced our ears this last summer but she has already become a multi-platinum selling artist. Performing her new single, 'Your Time Will Come’, please welcome Sarah Carerra!"
The lights illuminated my band and me immediately. I strummed my guitar at the same time that Stacy's drums echoed throughout the theatre and my dancers started moving around in their choreographed moves. The crowd cheered, and I smiled.
Everyone, including the crowd, quieted as I started to sing and play through the first part of the song. This was almost a true debut for the song because most of the people listening to my performance had never heard the song before. I had only performed this song once - at the school concert - and it wouldn't be released as a single until tomorrow morning.
I continued to sing my heart out as we played. This song deserved to be performed to the best of my ability every single time I performed it. I could not move around the stage as much as I normally did because I was playing Sparkle, but I made sure to put that extra energy into the song.
The same emotions I had felt when performing this song for Austin at the school came rushing back to me, and I knew that he was watching. I did my best to remind him how much he meant to me, and how much faith I had in him. I hoped that the rest of the audience would feel the same way.
I looked out at the crowd during the long instrumental at the end. I was too far back on the stage to see any facial expressions. But I could see people moving along with the music, and I knew I had accomplished my goal. I also knew that I had given the song a fighting chance to become one of the most popular songs in America.
And I knew that the audience appreciated it.
I was still backstage where Stephanie was touching up my makeup once again when I was informed they were presenting the nominees for Favorite Pop/Rock Female Artist. I'd barely had enough time to secure Sparkle with Tim and change back into my red carpet dress. I had to hurry to a designated spot backstage so they could film me while announcing the nominees.
"Sarah Carerra!" I heard as I got into place and the red light on the camera in front of me came out. I smiled my best, and tried to keep from panting after my performance. The red light went off, and whoever was presenting the award continued announcing some big names. Stella, Allyson Sutterfield, and Kristy Deltoro had been my opponents at the VMA awards in this category, and any one of us was poised to win this award.
"And the winner is...Sarah Carerra!" The light on the camera came on once again to catch the large smile that spread across my lips. Then, before I knew what was happening I was being directed back onto the stage. It had only been about five minutes since I'd been in front of the crowd as they cheered after my performance, and they were nearly as loud as I walked over to the podium and accepted my second award of the evening.
With the trophy in hand, and a smile on my face, I turned toward the microphone.
"I guess you guys liked that last song, huh?" I said. There was some cheering and laughing from the crowd. "Again I want to thank all of the fans. I wouldn't be here tonight without you. I'm just a simple girl trying to share my songs with the world. I never expected that you guys would like them so much! Thank you!"
It was simple, and to the point. My dad, Amy, and I had all agreed to keep the gratitude for any of the awards I won tonight pointed at the fans since it was a fan-voted awards show. There were so many other people that I wanted to thank, but I had stuck to the plan.
I made it through the media gauntlet once more and finally made my way back to Ethan and my seat.
A few more awards were given out and we had the opportunity to enjoy a few more performances from some big names. Overall, I was satisfied with what I had achieved this evening. Two awards is no small feat! I had missed out on one of them, and it seemed unlikely that I would win the big award of the evening. I knew that I had a lot of fans, but NOBODY had won the Artist of the Year award their first year. In fact, it was very rare to even be nominated for the award the first year. Usually performers were nominated for the New Artist of the Year their first year before they were even considered for the big award.
That was why I knew how honored I was to be nominated for both awards this year. The nomination showed just how quickly I had become popular. Nearly every day I still found myself wondering how all of this had happened. How had I gone from the shy person I had been to someone who craved the attention I got on stage? I had been so scared for most of my life to share my talents with anyone.
But now...now I couldn't imagine not performing for others.
"And the nominees for Artist of the Year are," Leon Raime, a very successful musical artist announced as the night was coming to an end. "Allyson Sutterfield."
Ethan reached out and took my hand.
"Travis Edmunds."
I looked over at him. He was smiling, and I smiled back before squeezing his hand.
"Sarah Carerra."
He returned the squeeze, and I almost stopped caring about the award. Just having Ethan here was almost an award in itself. I thought that I had lost him earlier this year, but he was proving to be more resilient than I thought he was. I didn't think that our friendship had ever been as strong as it had been this past week. Something had changed between us, and I liked whatever it was.
"Mark Bruno."
I turned back to the stage.
"and Stella," Leon concluded. "And the winner is..."
My grip on Ethan's hand tightened.
"Travis Edmunds!" Leon announced, and the crowd went wild. My heart fell, even though I knew it was a long shot that I'd actually win. I had hoped I would, at least. Ethan squeezed my hand once more in reassurance, and I looked over at him.
He was a very worthy consolation prize.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
If you've read book 1 I'd love it if you shared your opinions with others. Review the Kindle version at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006IZG49M. :)
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"This sucks," I told her. "I don't want rumors about Sarah to ruin my friendship with him! Last night was so much fun, and I don't want it spoiled!"
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.32 - Repercussions by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: December 14, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.32 - Repercussions
"Did you have to kiss George?" was the first thing Austin said to me as I exited my room Monday morning.
"What?" I asked, confused. I hadn't kissed anyone.
"Yesterday," he explained. "As you were going to the awards show. You kissed George. He won't shut up about it now."
"Oh," I replied, remembering the kiss I gave him as I passed. I tried to stifle the giggle that came with the memory because of the look on Austin's face, but I was unsuccessful.
"It's not funny!" he complained immediately. "He's telling everyone he knows! It's annoying."
"I'm sorry," I told Austin and moved toward the kitchen for breakfast. "I was just having a bit of fun. I didn't mean anything by it."
"Well you shouldn't have done it," he said seriously as I grabbed a bowl and started pouring some cereal. "I'm going to have to listen to him tell the story for weeks now!"
I was laughing again, which didn't help.
"Stop laughing!" he complained again. I tried to stop, honestly I did, but it just didn't seem like that big of a deal to me.
Eventually I stood up, and without saying anything I walked into Sarah's room and pulled a couple of pictures out of one of my albums before returning to the kitchen. I placed the pictures on the table next to him before sitting back down.
"That should take him down a peg or two," I told Austin.
He picked up the pictures and looked through them for a minute. Then an evil grin spread across his face that had me laughing again.
"I didn't know you had these!" he finally exclaimed, pointing to the pictures of Sarah and him on the midway at the Indiana State Fair. We had spent the whole afternoon together. At the time I had been sad that I had to wear the wig as we rode the rides, but now it seemed advantageous. The one I knew would really help was the one where I was hugging him. It wasn't a kiss, but the two of us were sitting in a roller coaster car while we waited for the ride to start. I hadn't been able to help myself and posed for the picture that either Cole or Mason had taken. They might be my bodyguards, but they certainly came in handy when I needed a picture taken.
"Does that make up for the kiss?" I asked.
The gleam in his eye was the perfect answer.
I was in the school cafeteria with Emily as lunch period was ending. The rest of my friends had already left to get ready for their next classes. I was absently finishing my lunch while we talked, but most of my attention was focused on my phone. I was looking at the current top selling singles, and like most of the morning, 'Your Time Will Come' was sitting at the top of the list!
The song was only my fourth single, but it had taken just 37 minutes from the time it was released this morning until it hit the top of the list! I knew that debuting the song in front of millions of viewers like I had yesterday would likely increase its sales, but I wasn't prepared for such a response!
I wasn't the only one who had debuted a song last night, but it was apparent that I had already won the post-show sales contest. Each of the other three debut songs were trailing my own.
"Have you seen this?" Emily asked, breaking my concentration on my phone.
"Seen what?" I asked while glancing over at her.
"This," she unhelpfully added while pointing to her phone. Then she handed me the phone, which helped me to understand what she was asking about.
I stared at the screen for a moment in shock! I couldn't understand how anyone could say such a thing! It didn't make any sense!
"Don't tell Ethan," escaped my mouth eventually.
"He's going to find out eventually," Emily replied. "It's all over the news."
"How?" I asked. "How on earth could they think that Sarah and Xander are a couple?"
"Well it says right here," Emily responded while taking her phone back. She scrolled through the page for a bit before reading. "Both Sarah and her long-time friend Xander Dailey were seen giving lovey-dovey looks at each other last night. They were also seen holding hands on a number of occasions."
"Yes, we held hands!" I exclaimed, but trying to keep quiet so nobody around us would hear the conversation. "But it didn't mean anything, and I never, ever gave him a 'lovey-dovey' look!"
"Well, whatever it was, the rumor is out there," Emily replied, and she had an odd look on her face. I was sure she felt as distraught as I did about this news. I didn't know how Ethan would take it. I knew he didn't have any feelings for me. He had made that clear earlier in the summer. I thought he was a great friend, and I'd had a lot of fun with him last night, but I wasn't in love with him!
"This sucks," I told her. "I don't want rumors about Sarah to ruin my friendship with him! Last night was so much fun, and I don't want it spoiled!"
"It won’t ruin your friendship," Emily told me. "I promise. Ethan is better than that."
"I hope so," I said. "I really do."
There was nobody in front of the Olympic Records building when I pulled into the parking lot after school. I smiled at the small reprieve, and quickly parked, grabbed my guitar case, and headed inside before my luck changed. I had previously thought that I would have this week off to enjoy Thanksgiving with my family before I would start work on the Christmas concert, but I was too much in demand for that.
Today I was going to be working with my band to finish and record the song I was writing for the movie. I had initially named the song 'Fly Away', referencing the wife's point of view when her husband goes off to work.
When I entered the large recording studio that had been set aside for my use, I smiled immediately at all of the friendly faces that greeted me. It had been about a month since my concert at my school, and I had only seen my band members a couple of times at meetings about the Christmas concert since then. This would be the first real work we would do together since the end of the concert tour.
"Hi guys!" I quickly greeted them excitedly.
"Hi, Sarah," Sophie replied immediately and even gave me a friendly hug. I had missed working with them, but I was starting to get excited once more at the prospect. The other band members greeted me similarly, and I turned my attention to the other two individuals in the room with us.
"I know I'm in good hands when you’re behind the board," I told Scott, who smiled back happily. "And Jennifer, it's nice to have you with us today," I greeted Jennifer Rainier, the sound editor from the movie.
"I'm thrilled to be here," Jennifer replied. "I'm guessing that not many people get to see you recording. I think it will be a nice experience."
"Sarah, show us what you've got," Scott said. It was just like him to get us straight to business. After all, we had a lot of work to do.
"Okay," I said and placed my guitar case down and retrieved Sparkle from inside. I pulled the strap over my head and then took a seat on the couch. I saw Scott flip a few switches on the control panel, and I knew he was recording this. "This song is about a superhero who leaves his wife and heads out to save the world every day," I told the assembled crowd. "I call it 'Fly Away'."
I started strumming my guitar immediately; playing the short chord that had enamored Jennifer at our first meeting. I then repeated it a few times with slight variations before I started singing the first verse. I sang about how the wife felt when she watched her husband leave each morning. It talked about the pride she felt for him, and how even if she didn't know what he really did, she still believed he was saving the world.
When I started the chorus I sang about how the wife had fallen in love with him the first time he left for work. But most importantly, it talked about how she would always be waiting for him to return.
I was really proud of the song. It hadn't been written in my normal manner, because the idea had been given to me by the movie producers instead of coming from my own experiences. But I had still managed to create a piece that accomplished everything I wanted it to. It was distinctly my song, but hopefully it would give the movie producers what they wanted.
"That is fabulous!" Jennifer stated with glee when the song was over. "I knew this was a good idea!"
"Thank you," I said while chuckling at her enthusiasm. The band was also smiling with amusement.
"Although," Jennifer stated, and I instantly prepared myself for all the revisions that she wanted. "Could we change the second verse slightly? If we did I think we can get it to tie into the movie better."
"What did you have in mind?" I asked.
The next half hour was spent tweaking the song to her liking. I managed to give her what she wanted without changing the song too much. In the end we were both happy with the final product.
Jennifer remained as I worked with the band to add the other instruments into the song. She was surprised at how much input I accepted from the band during this process, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Each of the members in my band was a specialist in instruments I didn't know how to play, and they were instrumental in helping me create the sound I wanted. Sometimes that meant changing my ideas of what I wanted out of my songs to accommodate them and their ideas, but it always led to something better.
After we had finished and Jennifer had left, we were still talking and catching up with each other.
"Are you guys doing anything fun for Thanksgiving?" I asked them.
"Just spending it with my family," Holly said, and the others voiced similar plans.
"Well, I hope you all have a good time," I told them truthfully. "I'm excited to get back into the studio and then prepare for another concert. But I want you all to rest and relax this week."
"Oh, we will," Stacy stated before looking at the other guys in the band. They all started laughing at some inside joke, or some plan that they had. They didn't seem to want to share, though.
"I'll see you guys on Monday," I told the girls.
"It should be interesting," Holly stated, referring to the fact that we would be in a recording studio with the entire Chorus from my school. I had to agree with her. I had never been in a recording studio with that many people, and I hoped that we could easily record the songs we'd be singing. The band would be recording the music beforehand, leaving only the girls and I to weather the chaos that Monday would likely bring.
"Oh!" I said remembering the other thing I wanted to talk to them about. "What about the other thing we discussed?" I asked the two girls.
"I'm not opposed to it," Sophie said, and Holly nodded her head in agreement. The two of them had begun practicing with the members of Chorus, and that gave them a good idea of what the future would hold.
"Okay," I said. "She'll be here when we record. We can talk about it then."
"Alright, Sarah," Sophie replied. "Have a Happy Thanksgiving!"
"You too!" I replied, and then I waved as I left the studio, smiling.
I was nearly home when I passed a house I had never noticed before, but the girl sitting out front caught my eye. I knew that Amber Hartfield lived somewhere near me, but I didn't realize that she was basically down the street. She was sitting on her porch, and I couldn't tell for sure, but it looked like she had been crying.
Before I even realized what I was doing I had pulled my car over to the curb. She looked up quizzically, and when she recognized me as I stepped out of my car she looked almost like she was about to die. As I approached I could see that she had been crying, and I knew that meeting Sarah under those circumstances was not what she wanted to do.
"Amber, right?" I asked as I approached. "Amber Hartfield?"
"Yeah," she said, sniffling and trying to look like she hadn't been crying.
"Are you okay?" I asked her. She didn't look okay.
"No," she said and I could see the strain on her face that came with her attempt to keep herself from bursting into tears again.
I nodded, and then I sat down next to her on the porch.
"Want to tell me about it?" I asked her next. "Perhaps I can help."
She turned and stared at me for a moment. I knew that she couldn't figure out why I was there. She was at one of her lowest moments, and Sarah Carerra had just pulled up to her house and sat down beside her!
"It's just," she started, but the dam broke and she started sobbing. I placed my hand comfortingly on her arm, and that just caused her to sob more. I let her continue. I allowed her to work out the emotions she had been trying to hold in. I had been trying to figure out why Amber had such hatred toward me at school when I had never done anything to her. I suspected that it was more than just me that led to her behavior.
"It's okay," I told her a moment later. "I know how you feel. I've been in some pretty bad places before. But whatever it is, things will get better. I promise."
"When?!" she nearly screamed in frustration. "I can't take this anymore! My whole life is falling apart!"
I sighed, not knowing how to help her. She had accused me, Megan, of ruining her life at the Autumn Ball. I still didn't know how or why she thought that.
"My mom and dad are getting a divorce!" she blurted out before I could say anything. "It just isn't fair!"
"I'm sorry," I said. I couldn't imagine what I would be feeling if my parents decided to get a divorce. The thought was almost inconceivable to me. But I had to guess that I would probably be sitting on my porch crying too. I placed my hand on her back and rubbed for a moment. The act seemed to soothe her a bit, but she continued to cry.
"My boyfriend broke up with me," she continued a moment later. "He thinks he has a chance with Megan Campbell of all people!" she complained. "She's not even a real girl! How could he be in love with her?!"
I couldn't help but notice that as she claimed I wasn't a real girl that she continued to use feminine pronouns to describe me. That gave me hope that the changes I'd gone through weren't at the core of why she hated me; they were just the excuse she used to pick on me.
"Don't get mad at me for saying this," I told Amber. "But Megan is a real girl."
Her eyes widened as she remembered that Megan knew Sarah, and therefore that Sarah knew Megan. Then she opened her mouth to counter-argue, but I continued.
"I also know that she has no interest in your boyfriend, whoever he is," I said. I realized that I didn't know who Amber was talking about. I hadn't even known that she had a boyfriend, but I vowed right then that I would never agree to a date or anything with him if he asked. For her sake.
Amber stared at me for a moment. I could see the hatred she had for Megan in her eyes, and I knew that she was debating if the same hatred applied to me. After all, we were supposed to be good friends.
"I'm sorry," Amber finally said. "I know you and Megan are friends. But you don't know what she has done to me!"
"Then tell me," I told her.
"She..." Amber started, but then she paused to think for a moment. "She's the prettiest girl in our whole P.E. class!" she finally exclaimed. "She is like super in shape, she's always the center of attention, and everyone always loves her! It's not fair! That used to be me!"
I was shocked by the vehemence in Amber's voice and by her viewpoint of my life! I could now understand why she hated me so much, but it was all based on false assumptions.
"Amber," I started, and she pulled away at the tone of my voice. I knew that I sounded like someone who was going to argue with her, because I was. "Not everyone loves Megan."
Amber snorted, not believing me for a moment.
"I'm telling you the truth," I continued. "Ask Johnny Crawford or Mark Corbin, to name a few. I know for a fact that every single day that Megan goes to school she gets evil looks from more than one person. Some of the students don't believe that she's always been female. Some refuse to see what is right in front of them."
"You’re lying," Amber retorted. "Everyone adores her. Especially the freshmen!"
"Well the freshmen weren't there at the end of last year," I shot back at her. "They weren't there when she was beaten up by Jared Lumbart."
"She never got beat up!" Amber replied.
"Oh yes she did," I replied. "She had a bruise on her thigh for weeks from where he kicked her after he threw her to the ground. If it hadn't been for some other guy she could have been put in the hospital."
"That was last year," she said. "Now she is the queen of the school!"
I rolled my eyes. I don't know how Amber could believe that. I was far from popular.
"Look, Amber," I told her. "I also know for a fact that Megan goes to school every single day worried that somebody is going to bring up her past. She goes worried that somebody else will try to finish what Jared started. She and Jared seem to have come to a truce, but he has friends who are still mad about Jared's suspensions. Every day, Amber. EVERY day."
I said the last bit with conviction, and it appeared that Amber finally listened to me.
"I am not saying she is a saint," I continued. "Megan has her faults. But believe me when I tell you that she doesn't want to be your enemy. She isn't trying to ruin your life. No matter how you feel about her, you need to realize that she has never intentionally hurt you."
Amber opened her mouth to retort, but closed it again before saying anything. She seemed to be considering what I had said. I didn't know if it would make a difference, but at least she was thinking about it.
"I'm sorry for what you are going through," I told her again. "I couldn't imagine what it would be like if my parents decided to split, but I would probably be out here crying too. But it isn't the end of the world. I promise you that things will get better."
"How do you know?" she asked, hope in her eyes.
"I know, because I've seen it," I told her. "I wrote a whole song about it. 'Your Time Will Come' is all about how you need to look forward and find the happy things to focus on."
"But that was about your brother," she argued. "This is different."
"No," I told her. "It isn't. The song may have been inspired by some of the things my brother has gone through. But everyone I've talked to can relate to the song: I can, my friends can, Megan can. And you can, Amber. You’re beautiful, you’re smart, and you wield a lot of power at your school. Use that power for good. Find ways to be happy. Yes, what you are going through sucks, but you don't have to accept that. Use it to become stronger."
I looked into her eyes, and I could see some doubt in them. But I could also see the determination that was starting to grow. She stared back, and I knew that she would be okay. I knew that she was ready to grow.
"I have to go," I told her while standing up. "But I'll be in touch, okay?"
"Why?" she asked. "Why did you stop?"
"Because you looked like you could use a friend," I said, smiling.
She too smiled, and I walked back toward my car.
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Apparently Aunt Judy wanted us to have a talent show today, and I couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't some excuse for her to hear Sarah sing again.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.33 - Family Turkeys by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: December 17, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.33 - Family Turkeys
School was unbearably long on Tuesday. The day before the Thanksgiving break always was. I was just happy that they weren't going to make us attend on Wednesday.
When Wednesday finally came, however, I found myself somewhat bored! Without school, and with no Sarah commitments the entire weekend, I didn't have much to keep me occupied. Also, Emily and Ethan had both left town for the weekend to spend time with family, leaving me with a void that was hard to fill.
Scott had started to pressure me into writing some more music. We were currently trying to lock in the dates for a concert tour and Scott wanted me to release a second album before the tour started. With the inclusion of the song I had written for the movie I now had nine songs for the new CD, all of which had only been heard by fans at one of my concerts. But Scott wanted to make sure that we had new content and wanted me to write some more songs to round out the album.
I spent much of Wednesday morning trying to honor his request, but nothing came to me. After writing the two original pieces for the Christmas Concert, the song for the movie, and even 'Your Time Will Come' I just didn't have anything in my head and had to give up just before lunch. Afterward I did my best to avoid Austin and his leering friends by spending time in Sarah's room watching TV.
I wanted to relax because this weekend would be my last break until the week of Christmas, but I wasn't sure how to do so anymore. I was so used to having some part of Sarah's life vying for my attention, and I was sad when Amy had told me we were closing the office for the whole weekend. I almost craved some of the headache that managing my career could cause. I felt almost lost without Sarah.
I fell asleep Wednesday night relieved that the day was over. Tomorrow we would be spending time up at Gran’s and Grandaddy's house for Thanksgiving, and that would be far from dull. Then Ethan would be back on Friday to help me cope with the downtime.
Thursday morning was a bit hectic. Mom asked me to help her in the kitchen all morning, and I was happy to oblige. I was proud at how much I was starting to learn about cooking, and I had my mom to thank for that. Besides, spending time with her was always wonderful.
We even got to talk to Grampa and Gramma Campbell for a while in the morning. My dad's parents had retired to Florida a few years earlier, and since then I had only seen them twice. They were planning to come out to visit in the spring around my birthday, and I knew that Dad wanted us to book a concert appearance in Florida as an excuse to visit them. Talking to the two of them on the phone was nowhere near as nice as seeing them in person.
Eventually we loaded Dad's car with all the food we had been preparing and left for the short trip up to Malibu. It had been nearly two months since Katy's birthday party and I hadn't seen any of my extended family since then. But the fact that mom had made me bring my guitar meant that they hadn't forgotten what had happened the last time we had gotten together at my grandparents' house. Grandaddy had obtained a karaoke machine for our annual Fourth of July party, and the two songs I had performed had been the highlight of the night, according to my Aunt Judy.
Apparently Aunt Judy wanted us to have a talent show today, and I couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't some excuse for her to hear Sarah sing again. Of all my extended family only she and Katy knew the truth behind Sarah's identity. I had my suspicions that my mom had also told Gran, but Gran had never said anything about it to me.
It looked like everyone had already arrived by the time Dad pulled into my grandparents’ driveway. I felt nervous as I exited the car once more and smoothed out the skirt of my dress. This was only the third time that many of my family would see me since my whole identity had been upended. I thought the dress would help remind them of who I really was, though Mom had assured me it was no longer necessary.
Reluctantly, though with some excitement, I grabbed my guitar case containing my backup guitar and a pan of brownies before heading for the front door. I followed my mom inside to a cacophony of noise as the men cheered on a football game on the TV and the younger kids played all around us. Katy came up to me immediately and relieved me of the pan of brownies and Gran wasn't too far behind her. She enveloped me in a hug that I eagerly returned.
"How are you doing, Megan?" Gran asked me as her eyes sparkled. I knew immediately that my suspicions about her had been true. Mom had told her everything.
"Great," I replied truthfully. "It's a lot to get used to, but I'm enjoying every minute of it." My answer was vague, and honestly it answered both of her questions - the one about my new life and the one about my new career.
"That is good to hear," she replied with another smile. I knew that she was very proud of me.
"Do you have somewhere that I can put this?" I asked while holding up my guitar case. Then in a much louder voice I said, "I wouldn't want anyone to break it!"
I stared right at Derek, Katy's brother, who was sitting nearby. He obviously heard me and turned around to see what I was talking about. When he saw the guitar case he grimaced before he quickly turned back to the TV. I grinned , but left it at that. Derek had been the one who accidentally smashed my old guitar to pieces when the family had come over for Mom's birthday. I had loved that guitar, and he had just been impressed to find something of Sarah's in our house.
"You can leave it in my room," Gran said and I nodded before following her down the hall. Gran’s and Grandaddy's room was usually off limits during these get-togethers so I knew it would be safe.
Once we were inside her room she closed the door and pointed to the bed, where I placed my guitar case. When I turned back around she was smiling at me again.
"I'm so proud of you, Megan," Gran told me. "Your mom told me about your alter ego, and I must say that I was really surprised. I never would have guessed the truth."
"Thank you, Gran," I replied, smiling back. A compliment from Gran was one of the best things I could ever receive!
"Your dad said that you were very successful," Gran said, which indicated that she didn't really understand the breadth of Sarah Carerra's influence. "He said they even like your music in Europe and Asia."
I couldn't help but chuckle at how proud Gran was of her statement. Even though I did not have quite as large a following outside of the United States as I did within, I was still very popular. One of the things we had been discussing about the upcoming concert tour was a possible trip outside the United States.
"Are you going to play us one of your songs today?" Gran asked, excitedly.
"No," I told her. "If I did that then the rest of the family might guess my secret, and I'm not ready for that yet. I do plan to sing something for you guys though, but I'm not sure what."
"Well, I look forward to it immensely," she said.
"Thanks, Gran," I replied again before giving her another hug.
Thanksgiving dinner was served shortly after 3:00. We always ate early. With so many great cooks in my mom's family there was always way too much food, and the earlier time encouraged people to keep “grazing” all afternoon and evening. The more everyone ate the less we'd all have to cart back home afterward. If history repeated itself my family would still be taking home enough leftovers to last us a week.
After dinner, people started to return to the other entertainments that were available to us. Most of the men went back to the TV to watch football. Most of the older women gathered together to talk. The kids ran off to play some more. And Katy grabbed onto me for the evening.
"You brought your guitar, right?" she asked. The excitement in her voice told me that she hoped I would play some songs for her.
"Yes," I replied. "I was going to sing something for the talent show."
"What talent show?" she asked me, confused.
"The talent...never mind," I replied, slightly perturbed at my mother. I realized now that there was no "official" talent show on the docket for the evening. She had only used it as an excuse to get me to bring my guitar. "My mom tricked me into bringing my guitar."
"Well," Katy responded. "I'm glad she did. Come on, sing me a song."
I sighed. I knew that my family, even those who didn't know that I was Sarah Carerra, liked hearing me perform. But I didn't want to be a main attraction for the evening.
"You’re going to sing?" a voice asked from nearby. Kendra, my cousin, was staring at me with the same excitement that had been on Katy's face.
"I guess I am," I said in a resigned voice, because I wasn't sure I really wanted to. I loved to perform, but I was still worried that my family would recognize Sarah's voice coming from me.
"Megan's going to sing for us!" Kendra screamed to everyone as loud as she could. Then she ran off to gather a bigger audience. I just sighed and walked down to Gran's bedroom and retrieved my guitar case.
When I returned I found a large gathering of family members waiting for me. Most of them were the younger kids, but my mom was there with most of my aunts. Tracy and Heather were excitedly waiting too, and even Gran was smiling.
"Oh," I said, surprised at all of the people who were waiting for me.
I stepped over to a soft chair that had apparently been set up for my use; I sat while I placed my guitar case on floor next to it. I opened the case and pulled out the sleek, black guitar that I had purchased at the same time that Sparkle had come into my life. This guitar didn't see a whole lot of use. I preferred using Sparkle whenever I could, but this was still a good guitar. Nevertheless, I couldn't very well show up to a family gathering with Sparkle.
I placed the strap around my neck and rested the acoustic guitar on my knee before turning toward the small crowd.
"Did anyone have any requests?" I asked. I still wasn't sure this was a good idea, but I knew I wasn't going to get out of it.
"Sarah Carerra!" one of the young girls yelled back at me. Several others offered agreement to that suggestion, but I knew I couldn't sing one of Sarah's songs. I just couldn't.
"I don't know how to play Sarah's songs," I lied. There were some groans of disappointment from the crowd.
"Taylor Swift!" Kendra yelled. I knew that she was a big Taylor fan, like me, and I smiled and nodded. I needed something that sounded good with just a single guitar but that would also be fun for the small crowd that was listening.
"Ok," I said, deciding what I was going to sing for them.
I took a deep breath and then started playing 'Speak Now' for them. I thought that this was a really fun song to play for them. It also showed off some of my talent, which I always thought was a good thing. I knew I couldn't give it the justice that Taylor did, but I tried my best anyway. The looks on the faces of the young girls fanned around me told me that they were enjoying it. The smiles on the faces of the older kids and adults hanging around only confirmed that thought.
When the song came to an end there was some very enthusiastic clapping before they yelled out another song they wanted to hear. I continued to play for them for over half an hour. The small crowd grew with each song I sang and nearly the whole family had crowded around the large room that I was performing in by the time the last song came to an end.
"Sarah Carerra!" one of my young cousins called out again. They really wanted me to play one of her songs. Just about every other song I sang had been decided after I had deflected from singing a Sarah Carerra song that was suggested.
I sighed, but made a decision that I hoped I wouldn't regret.
"Okay," I relented. "One Sarah Carerra song."
There was a cheer from the crowd. I knew that this was a big risk, but my chosen piece was not one of Sarah's most popular songs, much to my chagrin. However, it was one of my favorites.
When the crowd settled down I started strumming my guitar once more and eventually moved into singing about a young heroine as she made her way through a forest of large steel buildings.
I looked around the room, watching the reaction from each of my family members as I sang through the peaceful, happy opening of 'Enchanted Forest' for them. Those who knew that I was Sarah Carerra had huge smiles on their faces. I even saw a tear form in Gran's eye. I had played this song for her more than once before I had become Sarah Carerra. She was one of the few individuals with whom I had been willing to share my music.
I continued to sing and perform the song for everyone with a surreal feeling permeating my being. This was a song that I had written as Megan with Emily. We had adapted the song into one of Sarah's, but this was as raw as my music got. This was who Sarah really was. She was me, Megan.
Most of the family were oblivious to this fact as I sang. I was glad to keep them that way. The rest cheered and clapped very loudly when I finished, though they weren't to be outdone by those who didn't know me.
I just smiled and took a small bow while sitting on the chair. Then I slowly removed the guitar from around my neck and placed it back in its case.
"Good night!" I called back to my extended family as I followed Mom, Dad, and Austin out to the car. Any hard feelings about my recent transformation had been forgotten, if there had been any left to begin with. I had obviously made an impression on everyone because I spent the rest of the night listening to them talking about one or more of the songs that I had sung for them. 'Enchanted Forest' had been a big hit and I had heard more than one person say that I sang it a lot like Sarah did, but nobody seemed to realize that we were one and the same.
As I climbed into the car I had a huge smile on my face. I was given the chance to share my music career with my extended family, even if most of them didn't realize it.
And in the end, it just made me thankful for everything that had happened since Megan had come into my life.
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By lunch we had managed to finish the first four songs, including my two duets with Ethan.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.34 - Rechordus by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: December 19, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.34 - Rechordus
The rest of the weekend went by quickly. Mom and I did some Christmas shopping on Friday, and then again on Saturday after Emily returned home. 'Ever After' fell to #13 in the countdown that weekend, but 'Your Time Will Come' debuted at #1! Having millions of people watch me perform the song on live television had definitely helped to make sure it made it into the top ten, though I hadn't expected it to debut in the top spot!
When I woke up on Monday I was excited for what both the day, and the rest of the week would bring. I was going to be in the studio with members of the Chorus for the next two days, I had some special things planned for my band, and the Grammy nominations were being announced on Wednesday. And it was all topped off with Austin's birthday on Saturday.
Once more I donned Sarah's clothes for the day instead of slipping into what I would normally wear as Megan. Today and tomorrow the Chorus and I would be in the recording studio, and during school hours! Anything that got me excused from class was definitely a plus in my book, and being in the recording studio was icing on the cake.
Once I had finished getting ready, I walked outside with Emily, Ethan, and Austin. Instead of driving them in my car, we all made our way out to the very long stretch limousine that was parked out front. It was very nice, though it wasn't quite as nice as what I usually rented. But it was far bigger than any limousine that I had ever been in. It would work for today's purpose.
When we reached the school the limo pulled up next to an identical limo. I bid my friends farewell and they got out of the car. I, on the other hand, had been instructed to wait for Cole and Mason. It wasn't until after the bell rang - indicating classes had started - that my two security guys came out of the school and approached the limo. I opened the door and they helped me out before we started for the school.
I found the Chorus waiting inside with Mr. Benson and Principal Hall. I had spent an afternoon with them every week for the last four weeks, so they didn't start screaming excitedly like most people usually did. But they were still excited to see me.
"Hi everyone," I greeted them happily. "Are you ready to see how an album is made?"
There were greetings, shouts of “yeah!” and nods all around, and I knew that they were looking forward to being in the recording studio. I just hoped their energy lasted through multiple takes on each song.
"Welcome, Sarah," Mr. Benson said, taking charge. Then he turned back to the Chorus. "Today will be a lot of hard work, but it will be worthwhile. The school, and the Chorus in particular, will receive a portion of the proceeds of each album that is sold, so you should be proud of your work today and give it your all. Isn't that right, Sarah?"
"Yes," I agreed. "Recording a song isn't nearly as easy as they portray it in the movies. But it isn't anything to be afraid of either. Each of you has sung the songs we will be recording many times, and I know how well you can sing them. Singing in the recording studio will be no different than singing in the classroom. Do what you've been doing and everything will turn out perfectly."
I could see nervous glances coming from some of the Chorus members now, but I knew what I had told them was true.
"Sarah has kindly brought some limos for us to use today," Mr. Benson continued. "In order to prevent any jealousy, we will be splitting you into two groups. Sarah will ride to the studio with one group and return with the other group. If I call your name please follow Sarah out to the first limo. If I don't call your name, please head to the second limo. Ethan, Jane, Paul..."
I lost track of the other names as Mason, Cole, and I led the still forming group out to the limo I had ridden in earlier. I climbed in and took a seat in the middle of one of the long benches and those riding to the studio with me started entering and finding their own seats. Mason and Cole slid in last, seemingly out of place among the teenagers.
The ride down to Olympic Records didn't seem nearly as long as it normally did because I chatted with the members of Chorus. Before I knew it we were pulling into the parking lot and entering the building. Scott met us in the lobby, and after the introductions were made he led us down to the recording studio that we would be using for the day.
The studio itself was pretty spartan compared to the other studios that I'd used in the building. But part of the reason for that was the fact that it needed to accommodate the 30 members of the Chorus as we sang. We filtered into the studio and Mr. Benson lined everyone up where they would be standing at the concert.
The band had already recorded the music for the Christmas Concert. The next two days were all about the vocals. After everyone was in place I turned to Sophie and Holly, who were waiting nearby. They had been practicing some of the songs with the Chorus members over the past few weeks, so I didn't need to introduce them. Scott directed the three of us to our places, and soon Scott got us working.
We started with the eight songs that required the full Chorus to perform. I knew that Scott was hoping to get through all of them today so that we didn't have to bring the whole Chorus back again tomorrow.
To the Chorus' credit they did a great job. There was some nervousness and trepidation in the room when we started, but Scott was just as good at calming down the 30 students in the room as he had been calming me down over the many sessions we'd had together in a recording studio.
By lunch we had managed to finish the first four songs, including my two duets with Ethan, and then we were led to a conference room where a catered lunch was being served. I made it a point during lunch to try to get to know some of the Chorus members whom I didn't know very well. I sat with them and talked with them. Some of my friends, especially those who knew my secret, seemed somewhat perturbed that I wasn't spending as much time with them as usual, but I knew they understood why.
After lunch we filtered back into the studio to work on the remaining four songs for the day. These songs were somewhat easier to record than the earlier four because the Chorus was relegated to the background vocals instead of taking more of the spotlight on most of them. Nevertheless they still seemed to enjoy the work. Jane was smiling as she had the opportunity to shine for the first time in the duet that I was singing with her for the concert. I smiled widely when we recorded 'O Holy Night'; it was my favorite Christmas carol and the one I really wanted to be spectacular.
When we left the studio and climbed into the limos for the ride back home we had managed to finish over half of the songs for the concert.
I drove myself to the record company on Tuesday morning. There were two different groups of Chorus members coming in to record songs today. When I entered the smaller recording studio that we would be using I found a group of boys already hard at work. Scott was in the studio discussing something with them so I settled on the soft couch to wait. I wouldn't be needed until the next group came, but since this song was going to be on my Christmas album I wanted to make sure that Mark was up to the standard I needed.
"Alright, let's give it another try," Scott told them before appearing in the control room once more. He smiled when he saw me sitting there. "Good morning, Sarah," he told me.
"Morning, Scott," I replied. "How is Mark?"
"He is a pretty good singer," Scott said, and he looked pleased. "Not quite good enough for Olympic Records, but he might have a chance somewhere else."
I nodded, though I was very happy to hear that Mark Corbin was not good enough to get a recording deal with my record company. Every day that I had attended Chorus as Megan he would brag incessantly about how much better of a singer he was than me. Scott had just decided that battle for good, but I already knew that I was better.
Scott did something to the control board, and I stood up and stepped toward the window between the control room and the studio. Mark Corbin looked up at me, and his eyes widened. My presence had definitely affected him, but I hoped it would drive him to sing better.
"Alright, here we go," Scott said into his microphone, and there were nods from Mark Corbin, Ethan, Paul, and two other male Chorus members. The music started to filter throughout the room and Mark started singing the solo I had given him. The other four provided the background and harmony.
I had to admit that Mr. Benson had been right. Mark was an excellent singer. And including him in the Christmas Concert would be a good thing. But I was still glad that he was singing without me. I would never permit him to sing with me on stage in a duet.
Ethan, however, was another matter. I turned my gaze over to where he was standing and caught his eye. He smiled, and I smiled back.
I watched them work for the next hour and a half. They had been practicing the song in Chorus and Scott didn't have very many corrections for them, but he did tweak the song several times to get more from Mark. I saw Mark becoming slightly frustrated with each take, but he channeled it back into his work and he improved each time.
The boys looked exhausted by the time that Scott was finally happy, but the session hadn't been very intense. I had experienced much worse in my short recording career.
The boys stepped into the control room a few moments later, and they were looking at me eagerly.
"That was excellent!" I told them all. Their faces washed with relief that I liked what they had performed, causing me to smile. "Mark, you have an excellent voice," I found myself saying. "I'm glad you have a solo piece to showcase it."
The smile that crossed Mark's face was large, and I knew that my comment had cemented his acceptance that we weren't singing together. He seemed to understand that I was telling him he sounded better without me. I knew that playing up to his ego would help him overcome the disappointment I knew he still felt about not singing a duet with me.
The boys were then escorted out of the room toward the limo that would return them to school. It wasn't long afterward that the door to the recording studio opened again and seven wonderful girls entered. I had been lounging on the couch toying with song ideas, but I immediately stood up to greet them.
"Hi everyone!" I said and promptly greeted each of them with a hug. Jane smiled back at me, but the three other Chorus girls nearly squealed at the friendly hug. Sophie and Holly, the last two girls, were giggling softly at their antics. "This is what I call the ‘powerhouse group’," I told them. "Each of you was hand-picked by me to be a part of this elite group, and I can't wait to work with you."
"We've got a lot to do," Scott chimed in. "But you have all done this before, and you know what I'm looking for. Take your places and we'll get started."
I led the girls into the studio proper and helped them to line up in the order that Scott and I had worked out while we waited for them to arrive. Then I took my place, and we got to work.
There were two songs to sing with the entire group, and we started with those. The first song gave each girl - except Sophie and Holly - a chance to sing part of the song solo, which I knew would make them happy. The rest of us would provide background vocals while the soloist was singing. When Scott replayed the song for us the final time, I knew it was going to be one of my favorite songs on the album.
It didn't take too much longer for us to finish the second song. As we left the studio, I gave each of them a hug to thank them for their hard work. Then we had to split up. Jane, Sophie, Holly, and I had three more songs to record, so we headed for the cafeteria while the three other Chorus members were shuttled back to the school.
I had told all of the girls that I was looking forward to working with them earlier this morning, but it was this smaller group of three that would make singing in the afternoon special.
I became very nervous as we filed back into the recording studio. I'd tried to eat my lunch slowly to delay what I was going to do next, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
Scott was there waiting for us, and I saw his excitement. It was mirrored in Sophie’s and Holly's smiles too. But it was the three guys in the room who surprised Jane the most. My band had been absent for most of the work that had been done with the Chorus up to this point; they weren't needed for the recording session this afternoon since their part had already been recorded. But I knew they wanted to be part of this.
"Jane, have you met my band?" I asked her as she stared hungrily at the handsome guys who shared the stage with me.
"Not officially," she replied.
"Well, this is Jason," I told her pointing to my lead guitarist.
"It's nice to meet you, Jane," he said, flashing a smile that made her breath catch. I giggled with Sophie and Holly, and then I turned to Connor.
"Connor plays bass," I told Jane. Connor, he of few words, just nodded. But his smile was just as enticing. "And Stacy is the drum master," I told Jane.
"It's a pleasure," Stacy told Jane, though his smile was more reserved. I knew that he wanted to have the same effect on Jane as his counterparts, but Holly, who was his girlfriend, probably would have killed him.
"I'm thrilled to meet each of you," Jane said, and she was smiling while she took a deep breath.
"Jane," I said, and she looked over at me, somewhat reluctantly. I knew that staring at my band members was something that a lot of girls did. Even I could appreciate how good looking they were.
"Yes?" she asked, sensing there was something I wanted to tell her.
I took a deep breath of my own.
"I know how disappointed you were to not get your own recording contract," I told her and saw her stiffen slightly. "I can't do anything about that," I continued, and her shoulders sagged. "But I would be honored if you would join us on stage. I mean...if you want to!"
Jane looked confused as she stared at me for a few seconds, trying to comprehend what I had said.
"Of course I'll join you!" she eventually exclaimed, and she sounded confused. "But I'll be there for the Christmas Concert."
"No," I said immediately, chagrined at my inability to explain this right. "I mean, we want you to join us permanently. I want you on the stage with me, with Sophie and Holly."
She stared at me for another moment, this time with her eyes wide open.
"You mean..." she started, but never finished.
"Yes," I replied. "I'm offering you a job. But not just a job, it'll be an experience you won't soon forget."
"I...” she started again. "I don't know what to say!"
"Say ‘yes’!" Holly exclaimed.
We broke out into laughter at her words. When we settled down I looked back at Jane.
"Yes!" she said excitedly, "But I have to ask my parents first."
I was worried for a moment, but then she squealed with delight and I knew she wanted to accept my offer wholeheartedly.
"I understand," I told her. "It's a big decision and I don't expect you to answer today. But I want you to know how much I want you to be up there with me."
I paused, and took another deep breath.
"There's more," I said a moment later. Jane looked on with a mixture of curiosity and confusion while I gathered the courage to tell her. I trusted Jane, but this was still something I guarded as best I could, and I didn't know how she would react.
"What is it?" she finally asked when I had taken longer than I wanted to continue.
"My real name is not Sarah Carerra," I finally told her. "Sarah is a legal identity, but a fabricated one, that I perform under."
Jane looked shocked again, and I could see a number of possible identities of who I really was cross through her mind. Then her whole body stiffened as she thought of someone, and her eyes widened even further.
"Megan?!" she nearly screamed, and I was so glad that only the band, Scott and I were there.
"Yes," I replied, and she started squealing again before she wrapped me in a huge hug.
"I can't believe it!" she screamed, right into my ear as she hugged me. Then she stepped back and looked at me again. Now that she knew the truth I knew she was seeing the similarities between Sarah and me. "I knew you were too good not to have gotten a recording contract!"
I laughed wholeheartedly, and the others joined me quickly.
After I had gathered myself once more I smiled at Jane.
"I really do think you are a wonderful singer," I told her. "And other than the people in this room I can't think of a single other person I would want to have on stage with me."
Jane was smiling back at me, and I saw tears rolling down her cheeks before she hugged me again.
Eventually Scott was able to get us working on the remaining three songs for the album. Working with Jane had been fun up to this point, but now that I had made my offer, and it had been pretty much accepted, she sang even better.
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Even though it was the beginning of December the weather was excellent and it would be a nice day for a party.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.35 - Celebrations by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: December 21, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.35 - Celebrations
School on Wednesday felt like torture. After two days in the recording studio, the last thing I wanted to do was to return to class. Even worse, all of the Chorus members kept talking about their experiences throughout the day, making my attendance that much harder on me emotionally.
The only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that the Grammy nominations were going to be announced tonight. To date I had been nominated for nine awards in my short career, and I had managed to win five. I was cautiously optimistic that my name would be called again tonight. Though I had heard of artists being left out of the awards for one reason or another, I felt it unlikely that would happen to me. At least I hoped it wouldn't happen to me.
After dinner I made my way into Sarah's room where I planned to watch the Grammy nominations. There was some kind of small nominations concert on this evening, and I intended to watch all of it.
When the doorbell rang the first time I thought nothing of it and wasn't surprised to see Emily and Ethan come into the room to join me. When it rang the second time I was more curious. The entire band, Sophie, and Holly came into the room a short while later. I was very surprised to see them, but I was happy that they were there. They were such an integral part to my music that I wished they too would be nominated for an award.
The doorbell continued to ring in the minutes up to the start of the show. Scott, Stephanie and Julie joined us. But the last time the doorbell rang was the time that I smiled the widest. Mom had gone to answer the door, but when she brought the visitor back to the room I screamed in excitement.
"Jane!" I exclaimed while jumping off the couch and hugging her tightly. "Does this mean ‘yes’?"
"Yes!" she nearly shouted back in excitement! She was smiling from ear to ear when I released her, and then my band was there to congratulate her and welcome her as one of their own. Having Jane agree to be my third backup singer was awesome! I couldn't imagine anyone else that would fit in so well with the amazing people who were already on stage with me.
It took us a while, but we eventually settled down to watch the nominations show. I almost couldn't care less if I was nominated anymore. Having so many wonderful people there with me was nearly enough.
I watched, mesmerized, as the show intermingled performances with the nominations. Each time my name was called I grew more and more proud of the people around me. Best New Artist was the first nomination I received, and was somewhat expected by everyone in the room. Then, 'You Can't Hurt Me' stole the show, earning three nominations: Best Female Pop Solo Performance, Song of the Year, and Record of the Year!
I was stunned speechless! Not only had a song that I had written at one of the lowest points of my life been nominated for a Grammy, it had been nominated in three of the most highly contested and sought after categories!
I was so happy, in fact, that it took me a few minutes to realize that my dad and Scott were upset over the nominations.
"How could it not have been nominated?!" I eventually heard Scott saying. "The album is one of the best-selling albums of the year!"
"I don't know!" Dad replied, frustration evident in his voice and on his face. "It just isn't right!"
I was stunned again, but this time it was in confusion. I hadn't thought about the fact that 'Intuition' hadn't been nominated for Album of the Year or Pop Vocal Album. But even so, I had been nominated for four Grammy awards, and that was no small feat in itself. I couldn't believe that they weren't more excited about that.
"It's okay," I told the two of them. "We'll get it next time."
Scott and my dad looked over at me, and the expressions they were giving me read more like "you just don't understand" instead of the "I agree with you" I expected from them. Dad opened his mouth to say something, but I interrupted before he could.
"No!" I ordered! "Celebrate what we DID get! I am!"
Dad closed his mouth and looked at me for a moment before he nodded in agreement.
I turned back to the many wonderful people in the room and followed my own orders: I celebrated.
School on Thursday was even more difficult than it had been the day before. I did not want to be there. I kept catching myself writing lyrics instead of taking notes in class.
I couldn't help it. Ever since I had awakened that morning I'd had a song running around in my head - a song that had to come out. I did what I could during school hours. I did a very good job of hiding it from everyone else, but Emily caught me humming to myself while we were getting ready for P.E. I eventually had to tell her about the song stuck in my head. For the rest of the day she walked around with a sly smile, knowing something and proud that she couldn't tell another soul.
The song that was rattling around in my brain already had a title, even though I was still working on the lyrics. 'Remembered' was a ‘thank you’ song. It was a thank you to everyone who had helped me reach this point in my life. It was a thank you to the band for helping me to become the musician I was. It was a thank you to Stephanie and Julia for all the help they'd given me in establishing and maintaining Sarah's image. It was a thank you to Scott for recognizing my talent and giving me the opportunity to record the demo that lead to my recording contract. It was a thank you to Emily and Ethan for standing by me all these years and for being the best friends I could ever ask for. It was a thank you to my family for all that they had gone through with all of the changes I went through to become Megan, let alone anything else I had put them through in my life.
But most importantly, it was a thank you to myself. A thank you for finding the light within me that drove me forward and helped me to become the strong, confident young woman that I was proud to see in the mirror every morning.
I knew, without a doubt, that I couldn't let anyone else hear this song before it was finished. Not even Emily. I was going to have to find a way to write each of the different instruments into the song and then find someone to play them with me when I performed this song for everyone in my life. I wanted them to see just how thankful I really was.
I was struck with an idea while walking toward Study Hall at the end of the day when I saw Felix, the guitarist for Lazy Acres, heading toward the Chorus room. I had to stop him. Lazy Acres had been providing live music for the Chorus all year, and I had spent enough time with them before leaving Chorus, and when Sarah came to practice, that I was confident in their abilities.
"Felix!" I called out, trying to get his attention. He turned to look at me, and then stopped as I quickly made my way toward him.
"Yes?" he asked. It was obvious that he was confused about why I had stopped him. We didn't know each other very well, and I was no longer a member of Chorus.
"Sarah Carerra wanted to know if you and the rest of Lazy Acres would be willing to help her write a song," I blurted out before my nerves could overcome my desire to get their help.
Felix opened his mouth to say something, but when no words came out I knew I had stunned him the same way I had been stunned the night before. This was no small request, and he knew it.
"Are you serious?" he finally managed to ask. "With us?"
"Yes," I replied. "She was very impressed with you guys. And she needs somebody she can trust to help write a song she doesn't want her band to hear yet. Are you in?"
"Yes!" he exclaimed immediately, but then he started to really consider what I was saying. "No," he continued a moment later. "I mean, I don't know. I'm going to have to ask the other guys, and we are trying to get signed so I'll have to ask our manager. It could be complicated."
"Okay," I said, slightly disappointed.
Felix noticed my downcast tone, and his eyes widened immediately.
"It's not a ‘no’," he said immediately. "In fact, please take this as a ‘yes’. I'm going to make sure we get to work with her. I just have to get everyone else to agree."
"Okay," I said again, but this time my tone was more positive.
"When did she want to work on the song?" he asked.
"Oh," he caught me off-guard. I hadn't thought that far ahead. "It would have to be after the Christmas concert," I rattled off immediately as available dates started bouncing around inside my head. "So, like three weeks from now? Will that work?"
"Probably," he said. "Let me talk to the other guys and I'll get back to you, okay?"
"Okay," I said a third time, but relief echoed from this one.
Felix turned to continue toward Chorus, and I smiled as I made my way toward Study Hall.
The rest of the week seemed to fly by. I spent nearly every moment of free time I had on Thursday and Friday working on the song. I wanted this one to be special. I wanted this one to be perfect. Everyone deserved that much from me.
On Saturday I spent the morning talking to Mary about how excited I was about the song. I talked about how important it was for me to thank them. Even Mary was part of the crowd I wanted to include, and I let her know that. She wouldn't get to hear the song before it was released, but she too was looking forward to it.
Preparations for Austin's 15th birthday party were already underway when I arrived home. I had to weave around a box truck that was parked in our driveway in order to get my car into the garage. A few people were unloading the truck and carrying its contents around to the backyard.
Dad had agreed to throw a big party for Austin this year, and had even talked one of his clients into performing at it. Street Confederacy wasn't the most popular band out there, but Austin and his friends liked them enough to be excited at having them perform at the party. I had also offered to perform for him, but he didn't want his sister performing at his birthday party, no matter how popular I was.
I walked into the house and peered out the sliding doors that led to the backyard. A small stage was being assembled and other preparations were evident. Even though it was the beginning of December the weather was excellent and it would be a nice day for a party.
I spent most of the day in Sarah's room working on 'Remembered' some more. Austin was out with friends, Dad was supervising the party preparations, and Mom was out with Aunt Judy, though she would be back for the party.
By the time Austin's friends started to show up for the party late in the afternoon I had pretty much finished the song, and it just needed to be polished.
I barely got anything more than a 'Happy Birthday' in to Austin when he got home before he was in the backyard with his friends. The band wasn't scheduled to play for another hour and a half, but the boys and girls, many of which I recognized from school, were still wandering around excited.
I stepped out of the house with Mom, intent on eating some of the food that the caterer had brought. I didn't make it three steps before I had a small following of Austin's male friends around me. I chuckled to myself, and heard my mom do the same, but I continued to load my plate. When the two of us had found an empty table to sit down at, I only had enough time to return the sly smile Mom was giving me before the entire table had been filled with young freshmen boys eating their own food. I wasn't stupid. I knew they just wanted to hang out with me. I wasn't exactly happy about the prospect of spending the entire party being fawned over by Austin's friends, but it wouldn't be the first time it had happened.
"Hi, Megan," one of them said. I didn't know who he or any of the others were, but they seemed friendly enough.
"Hi," I said and took another bite of my food. I glanced around and saw that some of the freshmen girls who had been invited were staring at my table enviously. Some of them looked unhappy with me, but they knew Mom and I had sat down at an empty table. I definitely hadn't invited the boys to sit with me.
Eventually, the boys started to filter away from the table as Austin organized a few games that they wanted to be a part of. But Mom and I weren't alone for long before we were invaded by some of the girls who weren't participating in the games. I then spent the remainder of the time before the concert embroiled in the trivial things that freshman girls talked about all the time. They seemed to be happy to have someone older to talk to, and even my mom participated like she was their age.
Naturally, between the constant chatter about boys, I found myself answering questions about Sarah. All of them were eager for any information I could provide, and I was happy to do so.
But in the end I was happy when the band started to perform. I hadn't really planned on spending all afternoon hanging out at the party, but there wasn't anywhere else I would rather be.
Later that night, after all of the party guests had left and the band was gone, I finally managed to give Austin his present.
"Happy Birthday, Austin," I told him and handed him the slightly unwieldy package.
He gratefully took the present from me and looked at it quizzically for a moment before he started ripping off the paper. He was holding the present upside down when he finished unwrapping, but it was plain to see that he wasn't enthusiastic about what was obviously the back of a picture frame.
But when he turned the picture frame around to see what was inside, he gasped. Then he ran his hand over the glass, smudging it in the process but smiling widely.
"Is this for real?" he asked. I nodded, smiling.
Inside the picture frame were two neatly displayed pieces of paper covered in lyrics and notes. Occasionally there was a word crossed out and replaced, or notes that were scribbled out and rewritten. But even Austin knew the importance of these papers.
These were the sheets of paper I had used to write 'Your Time Will Come'. Covered in notes and scribbles, the song that Austin had inspired had come to life on these two pieces of paper.
"Thank you!" he exclaimed and wrapped his arms around me. I knew that he liked the gift, and would cherish it, but when he let me go I could see the slight disappointment in his eyes. He had been hoping for something else.
"Plus I got you those," I said casually and pointed to a few other packages that were on the floor nearby. His excitement rose immediately and he handed Mom the frame before ripping into the packages with a fervor I hadn't seen in him in a while.
Then he started to scream in excitement as he saw the new video game system and games that he had been hoping for all day. Mom and Dad weren't going to buy it for him, they had told me, but that was what a multi-platinum award-winning sister was for!
"Thank you!" he screamed again while hugging me once more. This time he squeezed me much tighter than he had before.
I squeezed him back. He was worth much more than what I had spent on him.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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I was in excellent shape, but it had been about a month and a half since I'd performed a concert and I ached from all the practice.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.36 - Chorus of Agony by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: December 24, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.36 - Chorus of Agony
The rest of the weekend was more relaxing, except for the countdown of the Top 20. 'Your Time Will Come' stayed at #1 on the countdown, but 'Ever After' fell completely out of the Top 20, coming in at #23.
When I arrived at school on Monday there was a buzz of excitement running throughout the student body. It was widely known that the Chorus would be performing with Sarah Carerra in two weeks, and the concert rehearsals would occur here at the school. It was impossible to ignore the many people who were converting the stage in the auditorium into a replica of what we would be using for the actual concert. I poked my head in to see the progress before I headed to class, and I was happy to see that it would be ready for our first session this afternoon.
School was about as boring as it usually was, but I did my best to pay attention in my classes. The last thing I needed right now was for my grades to slip. Dad wouldn't hesitate to keep me from doing Sarah stuff if my grades faltered.
After the second to last class of the day ended I walked out to my car and drove the short distance home. I parked my car in the garage and I immediately walked back down the driveway and boarded Sarah's tour bus, which was waiting for me.
"Hi, Eddie," I greeted my driver.
"Hi, Megan," he replied and closed the door to the bus before he started driving back toward the school. I continued into the bus, greeting Cole and Mason as I did, before walking back to my room and closing the door. It didn't take me too long to transform myself into Sarah, and I finished just as we arrived at the school.
Cole and Mason followed me as I led them back into the school and to the auditorium. There, I found Mr. Benson talking to the assembled Chorus members who were sitting in the first few rows. He smiled when he saw me and motioned for me to join him at the front. As I was walking to join him I noticed the dancers sitting together nearby also.
"Hi everyone," I greeted the Chorus. There were a number of customary replies, and it was easy to hear the nervousness in some of their responses. I couldn't blame them, I had been very nervous the first time we went into rehearsals for my concert tour.
"I want you all to listen to what Sarah has to say," Mr. Benson said. "She's been in your position before. I'm sure she was just as nervous as you are the first time she did this."
"First time?" I said. "I'm nervous now too!"
That was enough to cause some of the students to laugh, which in turn broke the ice and eased some of their nerves. It was also the truth. I was worried about how much I was going to be asking of the Chorus over the next two weeks.
"I know I'm asking a lot from you guys," I told them. "Although it looks easy, putting on a concert is hard work. I understand that there are many things that you would probably rather be doing than spending the next two weeks rehearsing. I'm not going to require any of you to stay past the regular time that school ends, but I do ask that you give your best attempt to help us put on a good concert. Each of you agreed to this when you joined the Chorus earlier this year, and I want you to know that it will be worth your while to see it through."
There were some very scared expressions looking back at me now. I grimaced inside, but kept my face smiling. Three hours a day for rehearsals was considerably less than what we had done for my concert tour. It was more than what I thought most of them were willing to give. The dancers were being paid to be here, but the Chorus members were all volunteers — and they were high school students. I knew that Mr. Benson had talked about making their participation in the concert preparations as part of their grade, and I hoped that wasn't the case. I wanted them here because they WANTED to be here, not because it was required of them to be here.
I motioned for the woman who was sitting off to the side to join us, and she stood up and came over.
"I'd like you all to meet Kate Abernathy," I told the Chorus members. Everyone else in the room was very familiar with Kate. "Kate is my choreographer, and she has ultimate say in what we do on stage. Please give her the respect she deserves. Kate?"
Kate stepped forward, and I stepped back to let her take charge for the day. This was her show now. She introduced herself to the Chorus members and described what she expected of them. She was a lot nicer with them than she had been with me and the dancers the first time we had met for tour rehearsals.
Soon she had us up on stage and working on the first set of songs she wanted to get through today. I was already tired and sweaty when the bell rang to indicate the end of school for the day. Kate paused to allow anyone who wanted to leave the chance to do so. When nobody moved, she continued like nothing had happened. Shortly afterward students started to stream into the auditorium to watch us practice.
Principal Hall had asked us to leave the rehearsals open to anyone who wanted to watch them, and I had agreed. The only caveat was that anyone watching had to keep quiet, and Cole and Mason had brought enough of their security team to ensure silence. Anyone disrupting the rehearsals would be asked to leave.
It was after a fairly intense attempt at one of the songs that I found myself panting as I looked around the auditorium. I noticed that some of the Chorus members were tired and wanted to go home; but as they watched how hard I was working to prepare myself, they had taken it upon themselves to match my effort. I was proud of them. Even Mark Corbin had kept from complaining...too much.
I turned my gaze to the many students in the seats watching as Kate called out the latest set of things we had done wrong. Many of them were huddled in small groups and talking quietly as they watched, but I found one lone girl watching us with a smile on her face.
I smiled back at Amber Hartfield and gave her a little wave before turning my attention back to Kate.
I was exhausted when Kate called an end to rehearsals for the day. The rest of the chorus seemed just as tired. I smirked at how little work they had done compared to me and the dancers, but I had to acknowledge how hard they had worked. I just hoped they all returned tomorrow.
"Megan, can I talk to you?" I looked up from my P.E. locker the next day to see Amber standing at the edge of the bench I was sitting on. I took a deep breath, but turned toward her. My body complained, but I ignored it. I was in excellent shape, but it had been about a month and a half since I'd performed a concert and I ached from all the practice.
"Yes," I said, and surprisingly Amber smiled at me. Emily and the other two girls I shared the row of lockers with seemed just as surprised at her reaction.
"I just wanted to say that I was sorry," she blurted out, and I knew she wanted to get this over with. She was embarrassed to apologize to me, but she didn't need to be. "I've been going through some tough things, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry."
I opened my mouth to respond, but found myself speechless! Frankly, I was shocked! I wasn't sure how to respond. Even after I had talked to her as Sarah I never actually believed that she would apologize to me. I knew how much pain she was in. It wasn't an excuse for the way she had been treating me, but I understood why she had lashed out.
"It's okay," I finally managed to say.
"No, it isn't," she replied, "but I guess she already told you why?"
"Who?" I asked, acting confused. This was a time when I was certain that Amber had hoped Sarah hadn't shared the information she had learned at Amber's house. Although I knew what had happened that day, I was going to give her the privacy she wanted and deserved.
"Sarah..." she started, and then looked surprised when I looked at her uncomprehendingly. When she realized that Sarah hadn't told me anything, or so she thought, the tips of her mouth curled upward slightly before she caught herself.
I knew that she was sincere. I knew it in my heart. But I also knew she didn't want people knowing about her parents' divorce and what she was going through.
"It's okay," I told her again. "Whatever it was I forgive you."
Amber stared back at me. I knew that she was carefully studying my face for some form of deceit, but there was none to be found in my expression.
Eventually, she nodded, and without another word she turned and walked out of sight around the lockers. I turned to Emily and gave her a look that indicated I didn't know what had just happened.
But when I turned back to my locker to finish getting ready I discretely wiped away a tear of relief. She wasn't the only one who had been giving me a hard time at school, but at least she was one less.
The second day of rehearsals came and went with only one person dropping out of the concert. Mr. Benson had given everyone the opportunity to leave if they wanted to, but he had apparently told them that they would not be performing with the Chorus if they did. I was leaving who got to perform in his hands. As long as I had the "important" members of Chorus there that night - the ones who were actually singing solo lines - then he could do what he wanted. I had hoped that they would all be there, but George, the boy who had quit, had never been one of the ones excited about the concert. He had been in Chorus before it was announced that Sarah would be performing with them, and was really only there for a grade.
Kate worked us hard, but not to the point where we would break. I admired her ability to inspire us to keep going and to instill in us a desire to improve. She was very good at what she did, and I was glad to be working with her.
The next week seemed to fly by. Three hours a day was enough to exhaust all of us; yet the dancers, band, and I worked an additional eight hours on Saturday that the Chorus members didn't have to do. Sunday was the only real day of rest we got, and then we were back at it again on Monday.
When Wednesday rolled around I felt that we were about as ready as we could be, and our dress rehearsal had very few issues that we needed to correct. Thursday, when I entered the auditorium for our last dress rehearsal before the concert, I was surprised to see that nearly every seat in the auditorium was filled. Principal Hall had apparently given the teachers the option to watch the final rehearsal instead of holding their last classes of the day. I hadn't planned on performing a second concert for the school, but we'd had a lot of people watching us all week so there was little difference this time.
As the bell rang on the last class of school Friday afternoon I felt a tingle start to permeate my entire body. Anticipation set in and I knew that it was going to be an amazing evening.
I rushed home and changed quickly before once more heading out to my tour bus. My family and my best friends rode with me down to the Nokia Theatre. The bus pulled into the back lot that was created by blocking off most of Georgia Street on the west side. There were already a number of busses and tractor-trailers parked there. My entourage wasn't quite as big as it had been for my tour, but there were still an impressive number of vehicles.
Once inside the theatre I spent a few minutes greeting everyone who was working on preparing for the concert. Many of them were veterans from my concert tour, but there were some new faces hired specifically for tonight, and I wanted to make sure that each of them received at least a "Hello" from me.
Hair and makeup was next before I put on my first costume, the one that matched what every member of Chorus would be wearing to start the concert. Then I found myself involved in the last minute details before my band, the Chorus members, and I gathered in a large room backstage.
"I want to thank all of you," I told the assembled group. "I know that you put a lot of work into preparing for this concert. I know that the last two weeks have been long, and that we are all tired. But I also know that we are going to be awesome tonight!"
There were some chuckles at my enthusiasm. I turned to Amy who was holding the most important thing in the world right now. Taking the band's Carerra Bear that we used before each concert I turned back to the crowd. A smile spread across the lips of my band members and curiosity lit the faces of the Chorus members. Even Ethan was looking on in wonder. He had been to many of my concerts, but this was something he had never been privy to.
"This is a Carerra Bear," I said, and there were a number of nods coming from the Chorus members. The bears had started to become common knowledge, so most people knew what they were.
"This one belongs to the people who perform with me on stage," I continued. "It has the signature of every member of my band on it," I said while turning to Jane and pointing at the new signature that had been embroidered on the bear's tummy. Her eyes lit up immediately and she smiled broadly as she saw her signature.
"These bears mean a lot to me," I told the assembled group. "And we have a small ritual to help give us luck and to help us succeed on stage. I've invited all of you here today because you are instrumental to tonight's performance. Let this bear give you the success you need."
I closed my eyes and hugged the bear tightly. I envisioned the success we would have tonight. I asked for the help and strength I needed to do my best. And when I opened my eyes I felt the rush of emotions and anticipation I felt at every one of my performances overwhelm me.
I turned toward the band and Holly walked over to me, took the bear, and hugged the bear tightly before passing it on to Sophie, who passed it on to Jason, and so on until every member of my band had done the same. Then I pointed at Jane, and she became the link between my band and the rest of the Chorus members. Each of them took their turn. Some of the boys looked reluctant to hug the bear, but one look from me was all it took to convince them, and each of them smiled as they went back to their seats.
"Let's get this party started!" the band and I yelled together indicating we were all ready for what was to come.
I smiled at every single person in that room as they left before following them out to take our places for the concert.
It was time to make the magic happen.
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The stage was dark. The only noise to be heard was the dull roar of the crowd as they waited.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.37 - A Very Carerra Christmas by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: December 25, 2012 |
Author Note: Many of the songs that Sarah sings are "inspired" by real life songs. I'm not a songwriter, but I can tell a story. A special thanks should be given to the artists that helped shape the music that is Sarah Carerra. Embedded in this chapter are the songs that inspired the Christmas concert for you to enjoy if you wish to. They are here to give you an idea of what Sarah's songs sound like.
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.37 - A Very Carerra Christmas
The stage was dark. The only noise to be heard was the dull roar of the crowd as they waited. I stood calmly between Jenna and Michelle on the second row of the riser that the Chorus was assembled on. Opposite the riser on the other side of the stage my band was set up and patiently waiting for their time to shine. The dancers calmly stood in their positions in front of us.
The first few notes of 'We Need a Little Christmas' echoed throughout the theatre moments before a spotlight shone down on the stage, illuminating Jane where she stood. Her beautiful voice sang the first part of the song before the lights expanded to include the entire Chorus. We continued to sing together, with a few of the Chorus members singing small solo pieces intermingled between the group.
The song did a good job of showing the different talents of the Chorus members without picking out any favorites. Mr. Benson had been really happy about the song, and I calmly stood with them singing but not drawing attention to myself.
When the song came to an end the crowd roared with applause, and I felt the energy in the Chorus increase tenfold.
Once the roar of the crowd began to subside, the music for the next song started and the Chorus started singing. I counted myself in and when I started singing, I slowly passed Jenna and walked down the steps to the bottom of the riser. I started the first verse of 'Last Christmas' with the Chorus providing backup. As I moved I felt two tugs from two of the Chorus members and I knew that the outfit I had been wearing to match the Chorus members had been pulled off to reveal the red and white dress that Julia had decided to feature for the concert.
But the part that caused me to smile occurred when I approached the end of the first verse. A tenor joined me and Ethan stepped down off the first row of the riser and slowly approached me as we sang together. We continued singing the duet together, and I was so excited to be singing with Ethan on stage for the first time! He was an excellent singer, and I was proud to be able to feature him in one of my concerts.
We ended the song looking at each other, and I could see the happiness that I felt reflected in his eyes for a moment before the lights in the theatre went out, leaving only Ethan's spotlight illuminated. The crowd continued to cheer as he stepped forward and took center stage. I, on the other hand, hurried back to the riser and found my place on the first row. All of the boys had left, and the girls had created a reverse pyramid on the riser with me at the bottom.
Jason's guitar broke the darkness, and 'A Very Carerra Christmas', the first of the two original Christmas songs I had written for the concert, echoed throughout the theatre. Ethan, still the only person on stage who was visible, sang through the first verse. I watched him from behind, cheering him on silently. When I'd had the opportunity to write the song I knew that I wanted to include Ethan in it. Emily and I had "our" songs, which were the ones we had written together. And now Ethan and I had a song to call our own, the one we performed together.
The girls of the Chorus and I burst into the song's chorus as lights burst into existence. The dancers started dancing around, and Ethan calmly moved to the side.
When the chorus finished, I stepped off the riser once more and joined Ethan as we sang through the second duet of the evening. We continued to sing the verses together and I sang through the chorus with the female members of the Chorus.
I really liked how well this song turned out, and as we sang through the last 'A very merry Carerra Christmas' we opened the concert, and the TV special, in earnest.
We held our poses when the song ended for a few moments to allow an overlay to be displayed on the TV before the entire theatre fell into darkness once more. The crowd was cheering, but everyone on stage was moving quickly to get everything ready for the next section of the concert. I knew that the TV special had gone to a commercial, and I could hear the small video start up to entertain those in attendance as I ran offstage and to a small dressing area. I was joined by six other girls in the small area: Jane, Sophie, Holly, Brittany, Jenna and Michelle. We undressed as quickly as we could and put on white dresses that glittered with blue highlights. The dresses reminded me of a winter landscape and would fit in well with what was coming up.
As we were still changing I heard the next song start on stage. The remainder of the Chorus started singing 'The Most Wonderful Day of the Year' for the crowd. I knew it was a very visual number, with some of the dancers dressed up as the misfit toys to help keep the crowd entertained without me on stage. Also, it gave the Chorus another chance to display their talents.
Once I was ready I made my way back to the stage and joined the other girls waiting for our cue to start the next song. We didn't have to wait long.
The stage fell into darkness once more, hiding the members of the Chorus who were on stage. Then the front of the stage was lit in a slightly blue light that gave the seven of us an ethereal look as we walked onto the stage, three from the left and four from the right.
Jane started first, singing the first part of 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman' without accompaniment as we walked toward the center of the stage. The other six of us provided some background and harmony as she sang. Then it was Brittany's turn, followed by Michelle's. The band joined us when Jenna started singing her part of the song.
Nearly two minutes into the song I got my turn to shine, and sang my heart out in one of my favorite songs of the evening. Being able to sing this song with these wonderful girls was an awesome experience, and just like when we were in the studio, I knew it would be one of the favorites on the album.
When the song ended most of the other girls stepped back into the shadows near the riser where the rest of the Chorus had been waiting. Only Jane and I stayed in the light.
A soft melody started to echo throughout the theatre, and Jane started singing the first verse of 'Do You Hear What I Hear' with the entire Chorus backing her softly. When she was finished, I sang through the second verse.
The Chorus gave us some vocals between the second and third verse, and then I started the third verse strong, and Jane finished before we sang through the small chorus piece together before the song started to wind down.
Getting the chance to sing a duet with Jane had been one of my top priorities when we were deciding on what songs to sing this evening, and the smile that was beaming across her face was enough to tell me how well I had succeeded. She was an amazing singer, and I was happy to have her on stage with me.
The crowd roared their approval, and as the theatre quieted once more, the lighting changed from the ethereal blue to a more Christmassy red as Jane joined the other girls near the riser. The dancers started moving slowly around the stage as I started singing 'O Holy Night' with everyone else on stage providing a good counterbalance to my solo singing.
The tone in the theatre changed almost immediately, and I felt the wonder, and the magic, of the music as it permeated my very being. The rush that I felt during every performance reached a peak and I channeled all of it into the song. As the lights dimmed once more at the end of the song, illuminating only me in a spotlight as I softly finished singing, I knew this would be one of the most memorable pieces of the concert.
Then the spotlight faded out, and I knew we were in another commercial break.
But it wasn't a break for me. Once more I was back in the dressing room with the same six girls who had been there before. This time, I changed back into the red dress I had worn at the beginning. Sophie, Holly, and Jane also changed into similar dresses, and the three other Chorus girls changed back into their outfits that matched the rest of the Chorus. Unlike last time, however, I had to be back on stage before the commercial break was over. It wasn't nearly as bad as the 30 seconds I'd had for some of the costume changes during my tour, but it was the most hectic costume change of the night. Thankfully, it was also the last.
I was back on stage by the time the short video that was playing during the commercial break was over, and the first notes of 'All I Want for Christmas Is You' brought the audience's attention back to me on stage.
For the first time tonight this song felt like one of my performances during the tour. The Chorus was still on stage, but hidden in the darkness and only the band, Sophie, Holly, Jane, and the dancers were visible with me.
This was probably one of my least favorite songs in the concert, but it was also a chance for me to show off some of my vocal prowess as it was mostly a solo. Like every song I sang I did my best to pour everything I had into it. I was rewarded when the crowd started to rock back and forth with the song and some of them even started singing along with me. It was a different concert in the sense that most of the audience hadn't been singing during each song, but I knew they were still having fun. I hoped that the people watching on television felt the same way.
The theater faded into darkness quickly when the song was over, but even through the roar of the crowd a familiar beat of a drum could be heard, and when the spotlight shone down on the far side of the stage, Mark Corbin was illuminated. He began singing 'Little Drummer Boy' as excellently as he had in the recording studio, backed by a small group of the Chorus boys.
The song was definitely slower than what I had just sung, but Mark, despite my best wishes, was an excellent singer. He caught the attention of the crowd and held it the entire song. I might not have been on stage during the song, but the applause he got when he finished was nearly as loud as my own.
Not to be outdone, I started singing 'The First Noel' almost immediately and without accompaniment from the band. The lights that had been shining down on Mark and the Chorus boys faded out to be replaced with lights illuminating me. I also had Sophie, Jane, and Holly backing me, and they were much better than the Chorus boys.
But if our a cappella rendition of the carol wasn't enough to wow the crowd, what came next was.
As I finished singing 'The First Noel', the girls and I moved from the side of the stage we had been performing on to the center of the stage. Then we launched into 'Carol of the Bells'. I normally heard this song as an instrumental at Christmas time, but Scott had brought this piece of music to us from somebody in the record company, and I really liked how our four voices could provide much of the "instrumental" part of the song as we sang. It turned out really well. The band only managed to increase how well the song sounded.
We softly finished the song, and once more the stage faded into darkness before another commercial video started to keep the audience entertained.
I started moving immediately, heading for the side of the stage. I couldn't believe that the Christmas Concert was almost over. There were only two songs left and only one of them would be performed by me.
The riser, that had been a fixture on stage until this point, was moved aside, and the Chorus members spread out across the stage. Jane had gone to change once more, and her outfit now matched the rest of the Chorus.
When they got the signal that the commercial break was over the Chorus started singing immediately. This was my favorite piece that the Chorus was singing tonight. Jane started singing 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas'. Then, as the song progressed, each of the individual Chorus members who had been featured in the different songs over the evening got to sing their small part of the song, accompanied by the remainder of the Chorus.
It was a fitting goodbye to the Chorus members, and they sang it excellently. I was very proud of them, and I was glad that my dad had insisted on inviting them to sing with me for the concert.
It was almost sad when their performance for the evening came to a close, but I saw a smile on every single one of their faces before the lights dimmed once more. I started walking onto stage immediately, and I passed by a lot of the Chorus members as they were exiting the stage. I could feel the buzz of accomplishment radiating from each of them. I smiled, just before a spotlight shone down on me.
"Thank you all for coming this evening," I told the crowd, speaking to them for the first time all night. This was partially because I didn't want to go through the whole concert without saying anything, and also because we needed time to get the stage ready. "Thank you to everyone watching from home," I continued. "Tonight has been very special to me. Not only have I had the chance to share with you some wonderful music, but we have also managed to raise a large sum of money for the Christmas Elves Foundation, which will be used to help underprivileged children across the nation to have a Merry Christmas."
There was some cheering as I mentioned the charity that had received all proceeds for tonight's concert. They deserved it, and I was glad for the opportunity to help.
"I have one more song I'd like to perform for you this evening," I told the crowd when the noise started to die down. "This song is special to me, and one I wrote specifically for tonight. It is easy for us to remember what the true meaning of Christmas is when we are bombarded by presents and material things. But I want you all to remember the 'Forgotten Christmas'.
Stacy's drums echoed throughout the theatre immediately, and the stage lit up to show my band and my backup girls: Sophie, Holly, and Jane. I started singing the second of the two songs I had written for the concert. This song was about all the things that are often overlooked during the holiday season. I hoped that it would make everyone who heard it think past the presents and the dinners, past the sales and trimming the trees and remember why this holiday was so holy. I wanted them to remember the birthday boy who saved all of us.
I had enjoyed performing with the Chorus all evening. I was glad that they had been on the stage with me. And even though I hadn't gotten along with all of them when I had been attending the class, I was happy that every one of them had been part of this special night. Even Mark Corbin had a place in my heart now. It was a small place, but it was there.
As the song came to a close and the crowd rose to their feet and roared their approval, I felt tears stream down my cheek.
Tonight, the magic was real.
Of all the Star Parties that had followed my concerts, the one for the Christmas Concert had to be one of my favorites. Quite a few seats for the night's concert had been purchased on behalf of children who would benefit from the Christmas Elves Foundation. As such, many of the individuals who had been chosen to attend the Star Party were also those children who could use the help the most. Mom and the other people in charge of finding the right people to come to the party had certainly had an easy time of it when they found out a number of the beneficiaries of the Christmas Elves Foundation were in attendance.
As I gazed into each of their smiling faces I could see how hard their lives had been. I could see how much tonight had meant to them. This was a ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity for most of them, and I was glad to be able to provide it. Each and every one of them got a hug from me, and since I had pledged to match whatever donations and proceeds were raised from the concert, just seeing me perform was only the start of the blessings they would receive this Christmas.
After the Star Party was over and the stage was in the process of being dismantled, I met once more with the members of the Chorus. Principal Hall and Mister Benson were also there. All of them had been invited to stay for the Star Party, and I was very glad they had. I knew they had been just as touched with the children as I had been.
But I had more to give tonight. I had sung about the forgotten parts of Christmas in my last song, and the Christmas Elves Foundation would see a lot of money generated because of those parts of Christmas being remembered by the people who saw the concert.
Yet I couldn't have given that gift without the members of my school's Chorus. We'd had our differences and I — as Megan - parted ways with them. But the reality was that they were instrumental in not only the success of the concert, but in the hope for the future that it had brought to those wonderful boys and girls whom I had hugged afterward.
And for that, I would be forever thankful.
"Thank you all," I told them. It was getting late, though not as late as if it had been a regular concert, and I knew they were ready to go home. "I know how much you guys have sacrificed for this concert. I know how hard it has been. The contract for the album is with the school, and that means that the proceeds of the album sales will help to fund the Chorus and other school programs for the foreseeable future. But although you guys don't get a cut of the album's earnings, I want you all to know how appreciative I am for all that you have done. I have a Christmas present for each of you. As you leave tonight, I want you to know that you have made a difference in the lives of many kids around the country. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart."
I let them leave after that. I let them go home to get the rest they deserved. But not before I gave every single one of them a special gift bag and a hug. A couple of them, like Ethan, even managed to get a kiss on the cheek before they walked out the door.
But the best part was the screams of glee that reached back into the room after they made it out into the hallway and looked into their gift bags. The $750 gift bags that they had each received contained a pair of expensive headphones, a new tablet computer, a camera, a spa package, Stardom perfume and Starlight Cosmetics for the girls, cologne and a watch for the guys, and most importantly a signed copy of the Christmas album.
It was a small price to pay to take the magic they had helped me create on stage and help it grow within their hearts.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
If you've read book 1 I'd love it if you shared your opinions with others. Review the Kindle version at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006IZG49M. :)
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This year had been the most incredible year of my life and it was coming to a close.
Sarah Carerra 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.38 - Resolutions by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2012 Megan Campbell Released: December 31, 2012 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
Sarah Carerra Book 3: Concerto in A-
Chapter 3.38 - Resolutions
I woke up late on Saturday morning. Mom had cancelled my appointment with Mary because she knew how tired I would be after performing the previous night. I expected that most of the people who performed had also slept in. I spent most of the weekend recovering, and I really needed this “downtime”. I lounged around the house, watched some TV, and hung out with Emily. It was great doing nothing!
School on Monday was somewhat bittersweet. We only had to attend on Monday and Tuesday before we were off for the rest of the year. That was nice, but I still wished they would have given us the extra two days off.
The only thing that made it worthwhile these two days was watching all of the Chorus members showing off the items they had received in their gift bags. That was quite fun to watch! Jealousy was rampant at the school! Chief among them was George, who had been the only Chorus member to drop out of performing the concert. I had told each of them at the beginning of rehearsals that it would be worth their while to stick to it through the performance, and he now knew he had made a huge mistake.
Surprisingly, the item that was garnering the most envy by the non-Chorus students wasn't the tablet computer, the headphones, or even the expensive spa package. Instead, the signed copies of the Christmas album seemed to be the hottest item that had been in the gift bag. I was surprised that some of the Chorus members had even brought their copies to school, but I couldn't deny that it seemed to raise them on the social ladder.
I had hoped to spend time this week with Felix and the members of Lazy Acres working on 'Remembered'. The band had finally agreed to work with me, but Jake, the band's drummer, had left town for the holidays with his family. We had agreed to meet and work on the song after the holidays were over, but now I was antsy to complete the song.
The rest of the week was nice and stress-free. After all the work that had been expended on the Christmas Concert, I was actually happy to take a break from Sarah's life. Unlike my Thanksgiving break - when I craved doing something as Sarah - the vacation was very nice. I did put on the wig Wednesday night for an appearance at an event sponsored by the Christmas Elves Foundation, but that was the only time.
On Christmas Eve, my family and I went to Uncle Alex’s and Aunt Charlotte's house. Tracy's parents didn't host many family gatherings at their home, but it was always nice when they did. We exchanged gifts and played some games before it was time to return home for the evening.
When we arrived back at my house I found myself on the couch in Sarah's room with Ethan watching ‘A Christmas Story’. The two of us always watched it together on Christmas Eve, and it was nice that despite everything that had happened this year, we kept our tradition.
The next morning was spent opening presents and spending time together as a family. Christmas has always been a magical day to me, and this year was no different. The presents had changed to match the new person I had become this year, but the magic was still the same. I could care less what I received, but the smiles on the faces of every member of my family as they opened my gifts almost rivaled the way I felt when I prepared to step out on stage.
The following week was almost nostalgic. I spent most of the time hanging out with Emily and Ethan. We did all the things we hadn't had time for recently. We went to the movies, shopped, and even ventured down to Disneyland for a day. That had been a mistake because we weren't prepared for the number of people who were there, but it was still fun.
When I woke up on New Year's Eve, I felt very surreal. This year had been the most incredible year of my life and it was coming to a close. I would always look back on it fondly, but things would be different now. Way different. I was a girl, and the New Year would be the first full year where I knew that fact about myself. It had only been slightly more than six months since my life really started, yet so much had happened that it felt like years had passed.
I continued to ponder on everything that had happened as the day unfolded. I thought about the night when I met Scott for the first time while we were at Johnny's party. I remembered how insistent Emily and Ethan were that I should get up on stage. I remembered how afraid I was to do so. But that one song had changed my life in more ways than I could count. Not only had it put me on the fast track to becoming one of the most popular singers on the charts right now, but it had been the catalyst that led to my decision to get to know my true self for the first time in my life. For that I would be forever grateful to my two friends.
We were having a party at my house tonight to celebrate the New Year. My family and Emily's family would be there. Ethan was coming too, though his family had opted to stay at home. We had a number of fun activities and games planned to keep us occupied until the big moment, but the best part of the evening would be having so many of the people I loved around me as we started anew.
I spent much of the morning helping Mom to get ready. I baked a number of cookies and other desserts, helped to set up tables and chairs in Sarah's room, and even dusted all of the awards and pictures that were on display in there. Dad had decided that Sarah's room, which was one of the bigger rooms in the house, would be a great place for the party.
When everyone started to arrive I greeted them at the door and led them down to the room. Emily's family, other than Anna, had never been in the room and they were quite impressed with all of the awards and memorabilia that decorated the room now.
"It would be nice to meet her one day," Julie, Emily's older sister, said as she walked around the room. Julie was the only member of Emily's family who didn't know the truth. I thought for sure that Emily, her mother, or even Anna would have caved and told her the secret, but now I knew that had never happened. I was amused and delighted, especially because Anna had kept her promise.
"You already have," I replied, which caused Julie's pretty face to contort in confusion.
"I don't understand," Julie said, causing her sisters to laugh.
"Megan IS Sarah Carerra," Emily said.
Julie obviously didn't believe her even though she saw the rest of her family nodding their heads. Then her eyes widened in shock and her jaw dropped open.
There would be more people coming later on who wouldn't know who I was, but for now it was nice to not have the secret between us.
Of course, the first thing I had to do next was play some songs for her. I was happy to do so, and she was thrilled to be included in the secret.
Then we began playing the games and snacking on the food that was available for the party. New Year's Eve was always full of fun at my house. We always had a party celebrating the New Year, and we always had a lot of fun with whoever came. Most years, like this one, it was usually just Emily's family who came. Other years we’d had extended family and even some of Dad's clients here. But no matter who showed up we always made sure they had a good time.
Around 8:00 my band, Sophie, and Holly arrived. I had invited them to join us when I found out they didn't have any plans, and I was happy that they had accepted. They fit right in immediately, and Julie was very happy to meet the guys. Just about every young woman was when they met my band for the first time.
Shortly after 9:00 the rest of the guests arrived separately. Julie's boyfriend, Rob, was the first to show up. I worried that she would accidently tell him my secret since she had so recently learned it herself, but she kept mum about it. Besides, she was spending too much time keeping Rob from seeing her staring at my band mates to worry about slipping up anyway.
The second guy was Ronin. Emily and Ronin had been getting closer and closer since the Autumn Ball, and it was hard not to think of them as boyfriend and girlfriend at this point. I had gotten to know him more, and I had to admit that they made a cute couple.
I half wondered if anyone else was going to have a “significant other” show up, but I was unattached, Austin's latest fling was with her family, and Anna was too young for a serious relationship. Ethan hadn't seemed to be chasing anyone since his failed attempt to date Jane, and I was starting to worry about him.
I looked over at Ethan who was sitting across from me at a card table that had been set up. He was concentrating on the cards he had in his hand for the latest game we were playing, but he looked up. I saw him smile, and I felt my own lips spread as I turned my gaze back to my own hand. If nothing else, he seemed to be having fun.
I played a card onto the pile, and then glanced around the room. Everyone was smiling, and I felt so happy about having so many wonderful people in my life. 'Remembered' was still bouncing around inside my head waiting for its chance to be completed, but I could see the song in every single person around the room.
My family meant so much to me. They were my foundation in life, and I wouldn't be the person I was today without them. Emily and Ethan were part of the same foundation. I could not imagine living without them, and I hoped that day never came. My band had become my second family. They meant just as much to me as the rest of the people in the room, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Ronin was new in my life, but he made Emily smile and that was all that mattered. Even Rob, whom I had not met before tonight, was radiating what I had written the song about, and I was very thankful he was here.
"Are you okay?" someone asked, and I turned to see Ethan looking at me, concerned.
"Yes," I replied, smiling once more. "I am. I was just thinking about how thankful I am for everybody in my life."
He smiled back, and I could tell he wanted to say something, but he didn't. I opened my mouth to ask him what it was, but I was interrupted by the scream of triumph that escaped Ronin.
"Yes!" he screamed while playing his last card onto the table. He sat back with a smug look that caused all of us to laugh. I thought that I'd had a chance to win this round, but seeing the satisfaction on his face made the loss worthwhile.
"Hurry, Megan!" Ethan called. "It's about to start!"
"I'm coming!" I yelled back and stood up from the table where I was cleaning up one of the games and walked over to where he was perched on the edge of the couch. I stood next to him and watched as the big ball in Times Square started to drop.
"10," everyone around the room echoed what was being said on TV.
I knew that I would always look back fondly on this year. I knew that it had been a vital turning point in my life.
"9," the countdown continued.
I knew that I couldn't have asked for a better year. Not only had I found success as Sarah Carerra, but I had also found Megan in the process. I had found who I truly was, and that was the best gift I could ever ask for.
"8," echoed around the room.
I leaned into Ethan. I was so glad that he was here. I thought I had lost him this past summer, but he had proven to be a real friend. He was someone whom I could always rely on.
"7," the chant continued.
This had been a wonderful year, but it was also only the beginning. There was so much planned for Sarah in the future. I had so much to look forward to.
"6," the gleeful call came from the party guests.
I couldn't wait to release a new album. I couldn't wait to go on tour once again. I couldn't wait to travel the world sharing my music.
"5," the anticipation in the crowd grew.
But I had so much more to look forward to. Sarah was an important part of my life. But Megan was even more important.
"4," tension started to build in the group as we readied ourselves.
I had only just begun to understand who I really was. I had poured my heart and soul into Sarah and her career. And part of me had neglected Megan.
"3," everyone called out.
These last couple of weeks since the Christmas Concert had opened my eyes to what I had been missing. With very few Sarah appointments, I had started to discover Megan once more.
"2," the crowd yelled.
But I vowed here and now that one of my resolutions for the New Year would be to spend more time as Megan. To give Megan the chance to shine. I knew it would be hard, but it was something I had to do.
"1," we all started to rise, anticipating the moment.
Megan was the real me. She was the person who had been there my entire life. Sarah was an integral part of her, but Megan was so much more.
"Happy New Year!" The screams echoed around the room. I cheered just as loudly before looking around the room at all the smiles and happiness. Dad was kissing Mom. Emily's parents were locked in an embrace. Even Julie was tied up with her boyfriend. Ronin and Emily were standing close, almost hugging.
And when I turned back to Ethan he was there. He was right there. I looked up into his eyes, thanking him for being there for me. But he did something more.
He leaned down.
And kissed me.
Want more Sarah Carerra?
Book 1: I Am A Rock Star is now available for the Kindle! Click here for more information. Become a fan of Sarah Carerra by joining her on Facebook or Twitter by clicking the buttons below.
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What The Future Holds
I love Sarah Carerra. I love telling her story. This is not the end of Sarah's journey. In fact, this is just the beginning of a whole new world that she is starting to see for the first time. There will be more Sarah Carerra in the future. I have many ideas and desires for Book 4 that I can't wait to work on.
However, it is with a sad heart that I inform you that it may be a while before Sarah's story continues. I made a promise to some family and friends to finish a non-TG book next before I started writing more of Sarah. My focus will now shift to doing that, and I fear that my Sarah time will be limited, though not gone. I will continue to write some of Sarah's story as I work on this other book, but I do not have a time frame for when I will get to post more.
Thank you to everyone that has supported Sarah and me. I hope that the break is short, but I can't promise anything right now. I do have a few other stories and snippets (including a Sarah piece) that I might be able to finish and release in the interim.
Updates and other information about my progress and about Sarah can be found on her Facebook page or on Twitter.
With love,
Megan
Copyright ©2020 Megan Campbell
Released: December 24, 2020
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
I want to thank Voldy very much for helping me to get this story out at short notice. I couldn't have done it without him.
My mom was screaming - again. It was like the third time today or something. She clearly wasn’t enjoying Christmas break as much as I was.
Thankfully, she wasn’t screaming at me...this time. She was screaming at Sam. Apparently he had broken another vase with the BB gun my dad had given him for his birthday last month. Why my mom still kept vases in the great room was beyond me. They were just going to get broken. This wasn’t even the first one this month.
It was only 11:30 am on Christmas Eve, and three of the five of us had already been disciplined. Merry Christmas indeed.
My name is George. At 15, I was the oldest of five boys in my family, and I was currently sitting on one of our couches in the great room while reading next to the Christmas tree. Reading was one of my favorite pastimes. Harry was 13 and was playing video games in the den, Dennis was 11 and had already been sent to his room for something, Sam was 8 and was currently being yelled at and scolded, and Tim was 5. Tim was sitting on the other couch in the great room, bored. He was currently in “time out”. “Five wonderful boys” according to my father. “Five little monsters” according to my mother.
Don’t get me wrong - my parents have been wonderful, especially my mother. She has been the best mom that I could ever ask for. But raising five boys certainly wasn’t easy, especially when we were out of school for two weeks. Both of my parents clearly loved us, and there were many worse situations that we could be in. I just wished Mom would stop yelling at us and that Dad would stop paddling. Fortunately I have been able to avoid most of the yelling and all of the paddling, but I’ve been in plenty of hot water recently.
I had been in detention every day for the last two weeks before the Christmas break had started. It wasn’t my fault, really, but Mom and Dad didn’t see it that way. I was walking down the hall at school when I got pushed forward from behind. I was able to catch myself, and turned around just in time to see Julian Crawford swinging a punch at me. I didn’t know why he was upset with me enough to throw a punch because we were generally cordial with each other. He lived down the street from me, but we didn’t really hang out much. We just ran in different circles. He was on the basketball team, and I hung out with more...intellectuals. We certainly weren’t enemies in any way.
Suffice it to say, I saw that punch coming and somehow, with instincts and reflexes that I didn’t even know I possessed, I moved slightly to the side and swung back at him. He missed. I didn’t. He got a bloody nose. I got two weeks detention.
My parents were furious. They couldn’t believe I was fighting at school. They may have believed it when I said that he swung first, but overall that didn’t really matter to them. They were just upset that I had swung at all. Along with that detention came a grounding: after I spent an extra hour at school every day I then had to come home and sit in my room all night. For two weeks! It wasn’t even my fault! He attacked me!
Thankfully they had lifted my grounding when Christmas break had started, and the detention had ended. I had marginally improved from “hot water” to “thin ice” in their minds. I was doing my best not to antagonize them during the break, but they had still yelled at me a few times, mostly for small things that didn’t really matter. I was certain they were fed up with all of us, though.
It didn’t help that Dad had gone to the office this morning for something. He promised he’d be back before lunch, but his departure had clearly not gone over well with my mom, probably because she had disciplined both Dennis and Tim before he’d left.
I continued reading for a while, trying to drown out the screaming. At some point it ended, and shortly after I realized Mom was standing at the end of the couch. I looked up, and she was looking at me. It was slight, but she looked disappointed.
“Why are you just sitting there reading?” she asked when she noticed I had looked up. “Why can’t you ever help?”
I stared back, confused. I didn’t know what she wanted my help with. I’d done all of my chores. The house was still pretty much clean. She had been baking in the kitchen, but she never wanted any help with that. The snow on the ground outside meant I didn’t need to mow the lawn. The lack of snow on the driveway meant it didn’t need shoveling. I wracked my brain for other possibilities and came up short.
Clearly, the look on my face wasn’t what she wanted to see. She just shook her head in exasperation and walked away. I shook my own head. ‘Whatever,’ I muttered silently to myself as I turned back to my book. Not long later she started yelling at Harry for some reason in the other room.
---
I’ve always loved Christmas! It was my favorite time of year. Presents are always nice, but I mostly loved the joy, the happiness, and the snow. There was just something special about it. Something magical.
The rest of Christmas Eve was certainly an improvement over what the morning had been. When Dad returned home just before lunch we sat down as a family and ate the sandwiches my mom had prepared. Then he took all of the boys into the den and we played video games for most of the afternoon, giving Mom the time to do whatever she needed to do, or just have time alone. I wasn’t sure what she did during that time.
We usually ordered take-out from one of our favorite restaurants on Christmas Eve. After eating together, we all gathered around the fireplace and had our usual small Christmas program that involved reading about the birth of Christ in the scriptures, and then watching a short Christmas video, which was sappier than it needed to be.
Then just before bed, we all were allowed to open one present. We always opened a present on Christmas Eve, and we always received the same thing: new pajamas. I have always loved the Christmas Pajamas we got. They were always softer than what we usually wore to bed, but they were also generally warmer, and couldn’t be worn year-round. Mom made us all go change into them. This year my pajamas were a really cool red, white, and black plaid flannel set that made me feel like a lumberjack when I put them on, but they were also some of the most comfortable pajamas I had ever worn.
After we had all changed we returned to the fireplace and the Christmas tree, where we had family prayer together. Then we set out the cookies for Santa and were ordered to go to bed and not come out until morning, lest he see us and not leave any presents.
Alone in my room, I could feel the palpable energy of the season while I laid in bed and read some more. Eventually, it was time for sleep. I put my book down, but instead of pulling the covers up further I climbed out of bed and walked over to my window and looked out. It was something I did every Christmas Eve. Snow covered the ground and the houses in view. It had started snowing again, and everything was covered. No doubt Dad would make me shovel the driveway tomorrow morning, but since it was Christmas it would probably be after we opened all of the presents. The sky was surprisingly clear for the amount of snow that was falling. I didn’t see any clouds anywhere.
Just as I was about to turn and go back to bed, I saw a flash of light and looked up just in time to see a large shooting star cross the sky. Immediately, I knew I needed to make a wish. Perhaps on Christmas Eve, with all of its magic, combined with the shooting star, it would come true.
I quickly shot through all the things I could possibly wish for: a new girlfriend; I hadn’t had one since Becky broke up with me a few months ago. The new PlayStation, but that wasn’t going to happen. Nobody was getting one. Some of my younger brothers still hoped Santa would bring one, but I knew better than that. Better grades at school. A new computer. My own car for when my learner’s permit became a full-blown license. Then, I thought of the perfect wish.
“I wish my mom could be happy tomorrow,” I said aloud. I smiled, and then turned and hopped into bed, pulling the covers up as tight as they would go. It was cold tonight.
---
“Sweetie,” I heard someone say sometime later. “Sweetie? Are you okay?”
I awoke immediately after. This was weird. It was my mom. I was lying on my side facing the window and I could tell that she was lying on my bed behind me, and she was stroking my hair. That was something she hadn’t done since I was a little kid.
“Sweetie?” she asked again. “Your brothers are already downstairs ready to open presents. Are you okay?”
I lifted myself up and turned in my bed to look at her. She looked beautiful this morning. She looked happy. Maybe the wish had worked.
She smiled at me, and I couldn’t help but smile back. I loved her so much.
“Are you okay?” she asked again, concern evident in her eyes.
“Yes,” I said. I was okay. In fact, I felt fantastic. I felt better than I had in a long time. “I must have just overslept.”
She chuckled. That wasn’t something I usually did on Christmas morning.
“Get up and get ready,” she said. “I’ll keep them busy until you come down.”
She smiled while lovingly looking at me, and then stroked my hair once more before she stood up and exited the room, closing my door behind her.
I sat up in bed, and that was when things started becoming even weirder. Something was wrong with my room. Things seemed to be in the wrong place, and there were odd colors in other spots. There were a few things I had never seen before. I would have continued looking, but I really, really needed to use the bathroom now.
I threw back the covers, and felt myself nearly gasp when I saw my legs. My awesome lumberjack pajamas had morphed into some kind of pink and black plaid two-piece that hugged them much tighter than anything I had ever known. Then I almost screamed when I realized that the top did the same thing, but it was rounded out by two orbs on my chest that never ever should have been there!
I sat there, just staring at myself for I don’t know how long. It was only the incessant need to use the bathroom that made me finally stand up. That didn’t help the situation either. My body jiggled and jostled in ways it never had before, and I was clearly shorter. The room looked bigger, or at least the things hanging on my walls seemed to be further away.
With worry, I quickly ran for the bathroom. As the oldest, I was lucky to have my own en suite. Technically this was the guest room of the house, but I was happy to call it my own. When I reached the bathroom I stopped dead in my tracks at the image I found in the mirror.
It certainly wasn’t me!
I had always taken after my dad with dark hair and a chiseled look that I was sure was going to impress the ladies...well, eventually. But staring back at me was a miniature version of my mom. And this girl was small!
She couldn’t have been taller than 5’2”, which was clearly a large departure from the 5’9” I had gone to bed as! My curly brown hair was gone, replaced with straight blonde locks that fell to the middle of my back! How had I not noticed that?! Now that I had noticed it, I definitely felt the weight and could even see how part of it was obscuring my vision.
Her face was absolutely beautiful! Those chiseled looks I had hoped would catch me a girl had clearly been sculpted to define a beauty I would have happily dated. I did not want it to be me, however!
The pajamas did little to hide the sex of the person in the mirror. The slim waist and wider hips certainly showed that this young lady was developing well. The two bumps on her chest certainly wouldn’t be found on any young man I knew. They weren’t big. They were perhaps smaller than most of the girls in my class, but that seemed to be because she was so small, not because she was any less developed.
The urge to use the toilet reminded me that I was staring at myself again, and with trepidation I turned and looked at the toilet. I needed to go so badly, but I didn’t want to do this. I’d had enough health classes and “the talk” from my parents to know the difference between boys and girls. I’d even seen some pictures that one of my friends had shown me. But I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t sure I could do it.
But I really, really had to go.
I walked over to the toilet and turned around, pulling down my pajamas, and, and, well, and my panties. I didn’t want to look and just sat down.
NO, NO, NO, this wasn’t right! It was so wrong! It felt weird! It felt like I was making some kind of mess! It felt nothing like it was supposed to! I almost started crying right there on the toilet. Then I almost started crying again just realizing that I had almost started crying!
When things were done, I began to panic because I didn’t know what to do next. Fortunately my body did. I just kind of sat there in shock as my arms moved, rolled up some toilet paper, and did their thing. I didn’t really know or care what was happening, but it ended with me standing up and pulling everything back into place. I sighed in relief.
I stepped back over to the sink and washed my hands. Boy or girl, that was a must. Then I stared at my reflection again. Her hair was a mess. I couldn’t leave and go downstairs looking like that.
I couldn’t go downstairs at all! What would everyone think?! They would probably all laugh at me! George was a girl now! I was hyperventilating, and was starting to get dizzy until I realized that Mom had been in my room when I woke up. She knew, and she didn’t act like anything was wrong! She thought I was a girl! How could that be? Thinking back on our short interaction made that pretty apparent, even though she really didn’t do much of anything different except for lying down next to me. But there were little things that made me realize my new fate may not be abnormal for those around me.
It was Christmas. They were all waiting on me. I had to go down.
I sighed, and pulled open the drawer where I kept my hair supplies. And immediately slammed it shut!
I started hyperventilating once more. That drawer did not hold hair supplies anymore. It was used for...for...well, for things only girls need! I didn’t even want to think about that!
I was still hyperventilating, and it took me a few moments to calm down. Then I tried to clear my mind and let my subconscious take control. Almost immediately I felt myself reaching toward a different drawer, and when I pulled it open I found a brush. My body continued to do its own thing and I started to run the brush through my hair. Clearly straight hair was easier to deal with than the wavy mop I’d had before, and soon it started to look presentable, even without a shower. I started to worry that my body was taking control, but when I wanted it to stop, it did. Then I tried to brush my hair once more and clearly didn’t make the right motion or something, as there was a painful tug on my scalp. But I relaxed my mind again, and my body started brushing my hair the right way.
So I wasn’t being mind-controlled. This body just seemed to know how to do what I needed it to do. If I tried to do it consciously it was like I had never done it before, but if I allowed my “muscle-memory” or subconscious to be in control, things happened as if I had done it many times before.
Eventually, that “muscle-memory” got my hair looking good. While I was smiling at how attractive this girl was my subconscious betrayed me and started pulling out makeup! I didn’t even realize it until I was applying that crap to my face! I stopped myself, but another look into the mirror showed that it was too late. I either had to clean it all off or finish what I had started.
Reluctantly and with a great sigh I let myself go back to applying it. As much as I didn’t want to wear it, I knew it was probably expected of me. The stupid body wouldn’t have started applying it if it wasn’t expected. I didn’t apply much, just some kind of junk to my eyes and stuff to my lips. I would have called it lipstick, but it wasn’t applied like I’d seen my mom do hers. It was some kind of little brush thingy, and there was an ever so slight glittery like look to them. It wasn’t glitter, but my lips were shinier than what I thought lipstick would be.
Whatever, I was just happy when I “felt” done, and I turned to go back into my room. This time I studied the room more carefully. My room hadn’t changed as much as I thought it would. I wasn’t sure if that made me happy (that it still felt like my room) or sad (that it hadn’t required much to make it more feminine). This was clearly a girl’s room now.
I just shook my head and waved away the changes like I didn’t care. I meant to head to the door, but as I went by my dresser I stopped and grabbed a pair of really dainty, pretty little pink socks out of a drawer and pulled them over my feet. They were surprisingly comfortable and warm based on how little I thought they would protect my toes. I would have pulled them back off immediately if it wasn’t for the fact that they matched my pajamas perfectly. I liked that.
NO, I DID NOT!
What was happening to me? Was I really being mind-controlled? Since when did I ever care if my socks matched my pajamas? And granted, I’d only ever had white crew socks in my drawers before and never really had to worry about matching them with anything, but still, why did I suddenly care?! Why was I constantly at war with myself?
I began hyperventilating again for a moment until I heard somebody yelling up the stairs. I didn’t know what was said, but the tone clearly was a question asking if I was going to join the family anytime soon.
I took a second and tried to calm my nerves, then I opened my door and walked out into the hallway before I chickened out.
There! I did it! I was out of my room! No, no, no! I was out of my room! Other people were going to see me like this!
“Mom says to hurry!” a voice called from the top of the stairs. I turned, and I saw Tim standing there looking at me like I was ruining Christmas. Maybe I was. I was being so self-absorbed by myself that I was keeping my little brothers from being able to open their presents. Clearly Tim wasn’t looking at me and seeing a girl he had never seen before. He was looking at his older sister who needed to come down the stairs right now so he could open his presents!
“Sorry, I’m coming,” I said, hearing my new voice for the first time. I’d spoken before to Mom, but I hadn’t noticed then how high and feminine it was. All that wonderful deepness I’d gained from puberty was gone now.
Tim didn’t have the same small panic attack I’d just had. He just smiled widely, turned, and quickly went back down the stairs. I had no choice but to follow.
As I descended into the great room I saw that Santa hadn’t passed up our house. There were presents all over the place. My mom always seemed to go overboard with presents at Christmas. That wasn’t a bad thing. It was also plain to see that she had allowed my brothers to open one gift each to keep them occupied while they waited for me.
As I reached the bottom I saw Dad sitting on a chair next to the couch, at the base of the stairs. He looked up at me and smiled.
“There she is,” he said, pulling me into a hug. “How’s my little princess?”
Without waiting for an answer he let go of the hug and kissed me on the forehead. I couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t even need to stand up to reach me, I was so short!
“Did you sleep okay?” he asked, clearly concerned.
“I think I slept a little too okay,” I replied, which caused him to laugh. His laugh was one of the best and most comfortable sounds in my life. I loved when he laughed, and hearing it now helped me to feel better about my predicament. I really, really, didn’t want this. But at least I was still here with a wonderful father, a loving mother, and my darling but frequently bratty little brothers.
Dad nodded at me and then let me go. I looked up to the part of the couch where I usually sat on Christmas morning, right next to the Christmas tree. But Sam was sitting there with a pile of presents that were clearly for him. I scanned the rest of the room until I found where I was supposed to be now, in this new reality. Next to Mom was a pile of presents that were obviously for me, or at least, for whomever I was now. Santa’s wrapping paper was always unique and shared between all of the members of the family. But the other presents in that pile, the stuff from my parents, were clearly wrapped differently than the others. Well, different from the “boys” anyway. I apparently didn’t fall into that category anymore as the wrapping paper was definitely more feminine.
I smiled at my mom as I took my seat on the couch next to her. She looked at me lovingly and there was no hint of the concern I had seen earlier. Clearly she was not surprised to see me as a girl. None of them were.
What did surprise me, however, was when Sam got up from his seat, grabbed my favorite blanket from the stack next to the fireplace, and brought it over to me. He never, ever, would have done something like that before!
“Thank you,” I said while giving him a smile and taking it from him. His whole face lit up like I had just made his day! Curious. And weird. Everything was weird now!
As he headed back to his seat I unfolded the blanket and wrapped it around me to keep me warm. When I was done I was surprised as Tim ran up to me, waving an action figure.
“Katy, Katy! Did you see what Santa brought me?” he said and finally stopped waving the toy long enough for me to see that it was Spiderman.
“Wow!” I replied, almost on instinct. “That is amazing!”
He just grinned at me as big as Sam had, then turned and ran back to his seat to get ready to open more presents.
Like I said - weird!
I was Katy now, apparently. It wasn’t a bad name. It certainly was better than a lot of other names I could think of. I could live with it. But I still hoped I wouldn’t have to.
“Hurry and open a present,” somebody said. I looked up and saw that it was Harry.
“Uh, okay,” I said before looking down at the pile that had been placed next to my new seat while I had still been upstairs. I’d taken long enough that somebody had passed out all of the gifts from under the tree. I wasn’t sure which one to grab first, and apparently took longer than I should.
“You better hurry, Kate,” Mom said next to me. “They have clearly been waiting too long.”
I chuckled, and grabbed the one on top of the pile. Despite everything that had happened to me, it was still Christmas morning, and I was opening my presents! I tore off the wrapping paper. The anticipation of what it could be was almost as exciting as whatever was inside. It always had been to me. This was no exception.
Until I saw what it was! It was a new eyeshadow set. Something I now recognized but hadn’t even known what it was called earlier when I’d applied this junk to my eyes. I expected to feel let down, but instead a huge smile spread across my face and I felt as giddy as if I had just unwrapped a new remote control car or something!
I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS HAPPENING!
“Oh, Mom!” I exclaimed, turning to her in excitement. “It’s the exact one I wanted!”
I reached over and gave her a hug. I knew it had come from her. Nobody in this house would have been able to pick it out so well. I hadn’t even told her that I wanted it, but she had somehow known exactly the right one to get, maybe even better than me!
Well duh - of course better than me! I didn’t even know how to put on eyeshadow let alone how to pick it out at the store! But somehow, some way, as I let go of her and sat back in my seat, I started to imagine how pretty my eyes would look using the different shades in the set.
“Whatever,” Dennis said, clearly not as enamored with eyeshadow as I now was. “My turn.”
He picked up a package and started to unwrap it. I was curious enough to lay my new gift down and see what he had received. It was a remote control car. I almost groaned at my luck, until I realized that it just didn’t appeal to me as much as I thought it would. It still had some appeal, but not in the way it would have if I was still George. After all, what use would a remote control car be for me?
I almost started crying again. I wanted a remote control car, not eyeshadow! Why was this happening? What did I do to deserve this? I thought for a second that something - some magic, or somebody - was messing with my head. But I honestly didn’t think that they were. It wasn’t like this was a foreign feeling to me. It just felt like I was different now. I didn’t know how to describe it properly because it would always sound like somebody was manipulating me, but the truth was I knew for sure that nobody was. I just couldn’t explain how I knew this, I just did.
To be clear, I didn’t want to be a girl. I would gladly change back in an instant. I didn’t all of a sudden accept what had happened. The idea of going back into the bathroom to, well, do bathroom things still freaked me out and I didn’t want to experience any of that again. The unbidden thought that came to my mind next was of the other things I would have to worry about now if I didn’t find a way back to being George, and it scared me to death! I’d never heard girls say anything good about any of it. To be honest, I had never heard girls say anything about it, but I’ve never heard anyone say anything good about it, and I had heard things on TV and stuff. There’d been a whole section on reproduction in health class, and the thought of what we had talked about actually made me feel sick to my stomach. That was the first feeling that I, George, had felt since waking up that had actually physically come to pass. I’d come close on other things, but none of it had shown in the real world. But this one clearly had, based on the look my mom was giving me.
“Are you okay?” she mouthed at me.
I nodded back at her. It was mostly, but not entirely, true. I was great. I felt better than I had my entire life. I felt like I had more energy. I felt like this new person that was clearly better off. But I also wasn’t George.
“Are you…” she mouthed again, and then made some motion that I didn’t understand at first, and then the thought of that drawer I had accidently opened leapt into my mind and I knew what she was talking about.
“No,” I mouthed back while shaking my head in fear. I was shaking it probably too much, based on her look of worry, but at least that wasn’t the reason why I was sick to my stomach.
I sat there, watching my family opening their presents, one at a time around the circle, while also trying to figure out what to do. What had caused this? What did I need to do to reverse it? I didn’t even know where to start.
“Open this one, Katy,” Tim said and handed me a large box that had been at the bottom of my pile. I had been so distracted the rest of the way around the circle that I hadn’t noticed that the pile had now fallen over as he pulled it out. He looked almost as excited as if it was his own present, but he wasn’t old enough yet to know that it was clearly clothes, based on the size and shape of the box.
I smiled at him, and took the box. Why wasn’t I mad at him? I probably would have yelled at him if he had done that yesterday. But today, well, things were different. There was no malicious intent. He just wanted me to open one of the biggest boxes in my pile, just like he had been doing. He wanted his sister to be happy. And some crazy new part of me wanted to make him happy. That certainly wasn’t a part of myself that was very familiar to me. I never wanted to make him unhappy, but I couldn’t say that his emotions were one of the top things I thought about most yesterday.
In fact, yesterday, while he had been in time-out on the couch near me, I had ignored him completely while I read my book. But today’s memory, as I was unwrapping the gift, was different. I had still been there reading, but every once in a while, when Mom wasn’t looking, I made a face at him causing him to laugh. Of course, I was just sitting there reading my book when Mom looked over from the kitchen to see what had made him laugh, though She probably knew, but also she likely wanted me to do it too.
I was right. Clothes. It was a pair of the thinnest, tightest looking jeans I had ever seen and a very beautiful knit top that would go with it well, to be precise. And just like with the eyeshadow, I was super excited about it!
I had always enjoyed getting clothes as presents before. But it was for an entirely different reason. I liked looking nice, but previously when I got clothes as a present before it always meant that I didn’t have to go to the store and pick something out. Now, however, it was surprisingly awesome to see clothes that I actually wanted, not just that I probably needed. I was surprised to find out that my desire to look good seemed to have been amped up. Again, it didn’t feel unnatural, and I knew with all of my heart that it wasn’t from some kind of manipulation by the ‘powers that be’. I just really, really, liked those clothes.
The morning continued that way. The boys kept getting ‘boys’ presents, and I kept getting ‘girls’ presents. And I was totally fine with that! Granted, not all of the presents I got were girls’ stuff. In fact, I got quite a few of the things that had been on my wish list as George. Some of them were clearly more feminine than what I’d had in my mind when I made the list, but they were perfect anyway. I even got a Kindle! It was the one thing I had wanted more than anything all year, and Santa had brought one for me. I was happy to note that it was still the most exciting gift that I had received. It was way better than the makeup or clothes or other miscellaneous presents that I had opened. It made me feel a bit more masculine to know it beat out those other presents.
Until I realized that it was a better present than even a car would have been. That was definitely different than how I’d felt the day before.
---
I sighed and laid down on my bed, after I carted all of my new things up to my room after we’d opened all the gifts and ate breakfast. When I had awakened this morning, I thought my world had crumbled. But it clearly hadn’t. My family still loved me, even if they no longer knew who I had been. However, that didn’t seem like the tragedy I thought it had been. In fact, I’d even gotten out of shoveling the snow from the driveway! Dad had told Harry to do it!
Before I could delve into that thought any further there was a knock on my door, and then my mother opened it slightly and looked in.
“Can I come in?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said, sitting up and sliding my back to rest against the headboard. She came in and took a seat on the bed next to me.
“Are you sure you are alright?” she asked again. Clearly she knew something was off about me, but I didn’t think that there was anything I could say that would make her believe the truth.
“Yes,” I replied while nodding. “Everything is fine. I promise.”
She looked at me as if she knew I was lying. It made me laugh.
“I promise, Mom,” I said, smiling at her. “I’m fine. I just feel...different. I feel like I woke up and I’m this new person. It doesn’t really feel that different. I don’t feel like I need to go out and get tattoos or anything. I just feel like the person I was yesterday is not the same person I am today. I’m just trying to figure out what that means.”
She smiled at me like she knew something that I didn’t. I had a flash of worry that she had been responsible for this. That she had somehow done this to me. But I knew she hadn’t. In the same way I knew that I wasn’t being manipulated and that she wasn’t behind whatever had caused this.
“You know what I think it is?” she asked me while reaching out and stroking the hair on the left side of my face, ending with tucking it behind my ear.
“What?” I said, confused at what her answer would be.
“I think you are finally becoming a woman,” she said. I almost laughed out loud. It was the same reaction I’d had all day...almost coming to the surface, but never quite getting there. The only time it had was when I’d gotten sick to my stomach while we were opening presents.
I must have made some face that made my mother think that she was right, because she continued.
“Yep, that is it,” she said, seemingly convinced. “My little baby girl is now a woman. I knew this day would come. It won’t be long before you leave me and go to college. Then I’ll be stuck with all of these boys.”
That time I did laugh out loud at her words. Today was the first time since she had moved into this house that she actually had another girl living with her. She’d been “stuck with all those boys” ever since I’d been born. Or, at least, since the other me had been born. I now realized that there had been a few years, at least in this dimension or universe or existence, or whatever this was, that the girls outnumbered the boys in this house. At least until Harry had been born.
“Mom,” I mock complained. “I’m only 15. There are still years until that happens.”
“Maybe,” she said. “But it feels like it was just yesterday that I changed your diaper for the first time, or took you to ballet class. Before we know it I’ll be dropping you off at a dorm and then crying all the way home.”
She had tears in her eyes. Then, all of a sudden, I had tears in my eyes! I had never really thought about what would happen at that time in my life, but the thought of not having my mom there with me was a horrible one. It didn’t matter if I was George, or if I was Katy, or Kate, or whoever I was now. I reached over and wrapped her in a hug.
“Even if I’m not here, you will always be my mom and I will always be there for you just like you will always be there for me,” I said, and I was crying just as much as she was now. But it was happy crying. The tears had started out painful, but had changed. I was so grateful for my mom and for how happy we were together. It felt like we were closer than we had ever been before. I really, really liked that.
We sat like that for a bit, holding onto and hugging one another. Eventually, she let go and stood up.
“You need to get ready for the day,” she said even though she was still in her own pajamas. “We have a lot to do today still, and you promised me you would wear that new dress to your Aunt Carol’s tonight.”
I rolled my eyes. She loved getting me into dresses. I didn’t mind wearing them, but I certainly didn’t like doing it as often as she wanted me to. It was apparently the right response for her, because she chuckled and left my room, presumably to get ready herself.
It was almost two whole minutes later when I realized I had never worn a dress in my life and was worried about the memories that were telling me otherwise!
---
I stared at myself in the mirror again. This time I didn’t have any clothes on and it was really, really, weird! It was kind of like looking at an alien. I knew that boys and girls were different; I’d seen pictures that a friend had shown me of a naked woman, but that lady didn’t look anything like what I was seeing now. Clearly, she hadn’t been a good representation of an average female body.
I had to take a shower. That was the only reason why I had taken off my clothes! I hadn’t wanted to see anything, but a glimpse at the mirror as I walked from my room into the bathroom had changed that plan.
What was even worse was that I had expected some certain “feelings” at seeing a naked girl, but they weren’t there, and that scared me! I refused to think about the alternative, and instead turned toward the shower. I just needed to get this done and get myself covered again.
I let my mind go blank. I didn’t want to experience this. I just wanted this body to do what it needed to do and then let me go on with this horrible experience. Hopefully this was just some kind of ‘Christmas Carol’ thing and this was just the part about Christmas Present or something, and it would all eventually go away.
I was really annoyed when after I turned on the shower, my body immediately went to the toilet and sat down again! I had not planned on that! I just blanked out my mind and tried to ignore what was happening but it was just as horrible and weird as the first time! Finally I stood up, but instead of getting right into the shower I grabbed something that was hanging from a hook on the shower door and then put it on my head before stuffing all of my hair into it. It was only then that I climbed into the shower.
It was weird too, and I was tired of weird. I wanted normal. But I wasn’t getting it as my body did its thing and washed everything. I did my best to ignore it all, but even this most basic function of cleanliness was different from what I was used to. I thought that taking a shower would just be taking a shower, but that wasn’t the case!
Eventually, it was over. As I toweled myself off, I caught myself staring at myself again in the mirror.
Finally, I was able to just pull myself away and walk back into my room to get dressed. If I was dressed then I hoped that things would feel more normal. I certainly had felt fairly normal while wearing pajamas, even if things were different.
But no, that wasn’t to be either. I wasn’t sure how to pick out clothes for this body and instead relied on my subconscious to do it for me. It betrayed me - again! I wanted normal clothes, but it wanted to please my mother. Instead of a nice pair of jeans and a T-shirt, it pulled from my closet the dress my mom had been talking about earlier. While I had no desire to wear the thing, I did have to admit that it felt amazing as I touched it. It was a red velvet dress that wasn’t necessarily made for Christmas, but it certainly fit the bill for a Christmas party.
I laid it on my bed and then walked to the dresser and started pulling out all of the other things that girls had to wear. Some of it I ignored, not wanting to think about them. I knew girls wore all this stuff but I wanted to see them wearing these clothes, not me! I just let my mind wander as I pulled on all of the under things, and rolled some kind of long, thin, black, socky things up my legs, and then finally pulled the dress over my head. Then I felt myself turn toward the full-length mirror that was now in my room, and that somehow I hadn’t noticed yet. Great…
At least the girl in the mirror was dressed this time. I felt a lot better, but the girl was absolutely stunning in that red velvet dress! Her hair was somewhat disheveled, and she wasn’t wearing any makeup, but the way she looked in that dress was amazing! Her black legs were also very sexy looking. I thought I had been pulling on some long socks, but my mind now told me that these were stockings, whatever difference that made. I wanted to have those “feelings” while looking at her, but they were absent once again. Maybe that was for the best, since this was me I was looking at.
I sighed, and returned to the bathroom, opened the correct drawer this time, and pulled out a brush. I was curious if I could do this myself, and tried to mimic what my body had done earlier, pulling the brush through my hair. I was doing better than last time, but clearly I still needed practice and instead I let that “muscle-memory” take over. I didn’t want to spend all day in here. Besides, I still didn’t know how to do anything with the makeup.
Once everything was done, using some of the new makeup I’d gotten for Christmas, I smiled at the beautiful girl in the mirror and decided to go see what the rest of the family was doing. I still had no clue what to do to change back, and I kind of wanted to just enjoy Christmas with my family anyway. I surprised myself when I grabbed two small red-wrapped Christmas presents that had been on my dresser before I headed toward the door.
Stepping out of my room this time was completely different. I’d been nervous before, but not this time. I’d already met my family, and they clearly knew who Kate was, even if I didn’t.
As I went down the stairs into the great room I heard most of my family in the den playing some video game. I could also tell that my mom was baking again, because of the enticing aroma from the kitchen, but she wasn’t there right now. But what mostly caught my eye was Sam. He had set up some kind of target on one of the couches and was shooting at it with a crossbow toy that I remembered him opening earlier this morning.
“Sam?” I said when I reached the bottom of the stairs. He turned to look at me, and when he saw me, his whole expression went crestfallen.
“No,” he said. “Don’t make me go outside. It’s too cold.”
I chuckled, and set the presents I was holding on a table near the hallway to the front door before I turned back to him.
“You don’t have to go outside,” I said while approaching him. “But do you remember what we talked about?”
Fortunately he nodded his head, because I had no idea what we had talked about. What I had said was clearly another manifestation of whatever this new person I had become would have said. I didn’t know what to say or do next, other than to let my body do it for me, which it did once again.
I stepped over to him and then leaned down to where my head was next to his, looking toward where he had set up the target.
“Do you see anything around the target that could break?” I asked him.
He looked around, hopefully seeing potential problems for the first time.
“The vase?” he asked, looking up at me for confirmation.
“The vase,” I confirmed. He had set up his target on the couch that had the end table behind it, instead of the one against the wall. It gave him a longer distance to shoot, but it also led to the possibility he could hit whatever was on the end table. In this case it was the exact vase that he had broken the day before, at least in my real existence.
I straightened up, walked over to where the target was and picked it up. Then I moved it to the other couch. After I placed it there I turned back to Sam.
“What about now?” I asked.
He looked hard, trying to see if there was anything that would break if he shot and missed the target. The foam dart of the crossbow was less likely to break anything when compared to the BB gun he got in trouble with yesterday, but it was the principle that mattered.
“But I can’t shoot as far there,” he whined. I chuckled. I had just moved him from shooting lengthwise across the room to widthwise.
“I know,” I said, bending down so we were on the same level again. “But if you are going to shoot inside the house you have to make some concessions to do it safely. Otherwise Mom will ban you from shooting in the house at all. Is that what you want?”
“No,” he said, and let his head hang down.
“When it warms up then you can go outside and you can shoot as far as you want,” I told him. “But if you want to shoot it inside you have to do it this way, okay?”
“Okay,” he said. He didn’t seem very happy, but he loaded his little crossbow as I stood up and then he shot it at the new target.
I smiled at him, and then walked into the kitchen to see what Mom was making. All of the ovens were off, which meant she was probably done. But she had pulled a cake out of the oven not too long ago. It was still cooling, since she hadn’t iced it yet. She hadn’t even started making the frosting.
Without really realizing what I was doing, I began to pull a few things out of the fridge and the cupboards. Then I went into the pantry to retrieve a bag of powdered sugar. I had just set everything on the counter and moved the mixer into position when I heard my mom speak.
“No, Kate,” she said with a chuckle. “Any other day I would be glad for your help, but I am not going to let you do anything in the kitchen while wearing that dress.”
“Oh,” I replied. “This is a “get out of chores free” dress, huh?”
Mom laughed at those words and I laughed with her. It didn’t help that she was wearing a very nice dress now too.
“You know what I mean, and we both know baking is no chore,” she said with a smile. “That dress was way too expensive to be baking in, though.”
“Do you want me to go change?” I asked. “I can help.”
“I know, sweetie,” she said. “But you look too beautiful to go change. Besides, this is all there is left to do. We are eating at Carol’s tonight and she is doing the hard work. I’m just making a cake.”
I nodded, and then picked up a banana from the counter. I wasn’t very hungry, since we had eaten breakfast late, but it was already mid-afternoon.
“Do you want me to make you a sandwich or anything?” she asked, seeing me pick up the banana. “The others have already had lunch.”
“No,” I said. “This will hold me over until dinner.”
A banana? Seriously? Since when has a banana ever been enough to eat between breakfast and dinner? This girl was so weird!
Mom nodded, and I decided to head for the den to see what everyone was playing.
I peeled open the banana while I was walking and took a bite. It tasted way better than I remembered bananas tasting. I’d always liked bananas, but if they had always been like this, I would eat them more often.
There was a cheer of victory from Harry as I rounded the corner to the den and a sigh of frustration from my Dad. He had clearly lost in some game I had never seen before. It must have been a Christmas present for one of my brothers earlier this morning.
Dad saw me enter, and with a smile, stood up.
“Great timing, Kate,” he said, holding the controller out to me.
“Aw, Dad,” Harry said. “Best out of three!”
“We will, I promise,” he told them. “But I have to go to the bathroom. Give your sister a turn and we can finish when I get back.”
That was clearly not what Harry wanted, but he sighed in agreement. Dad held the controller out to me expectantly, and I stepped forward and took it from him as he rushed out the door behind me.
“Are you ready to lose to a girl?” I asked mockingly as I walked around the couch to where Dad had been sitting. I’d generally been pretty good at this type of game and I knew I had a good chance against Harry.
Harry, on the other hand, laughed like I had no chance. Whatever. I just took another bite of my banana before setting it down on the end table and then focused on the screen.
A few minutes later I sighed in defeat. I’d done pretty well, but it was clear I wasn’t as good as I had been yesterday. It wasn’t that I didn’t have the skills anymore, I clearly did. It felt more like I was unpracticed. Clearly, in this reality, I still played video games, but not nearly as often as I did in the old one.
“Ha!” Harry said, happy that he had beaten me. “Again?”
Dad was standing behind the couch now, grinning. It seemed to me like he had been rooting for me, but I couldn’t be sure.
“You better finish your best of three with Dad,” I said, surprising myself as I handed my dad the controller, then I picked up my banana and stood up to give him his seat back.
What was I doing?! I wanted to play again!
I sighed and took another bite of the banana, and walked back around the couch toward the door as the two of them recommenced their rivalry. I leaned against the doorframe for a moment, watching them while finishing my banana. I still couldn’t believe I had willingly given up the controller.
I had just thrown the peel into the trash next to the doorway when the doorbell rang. Since the den was just off the hallway next to the front door, I turned around, walked to the door and opened it.
When I saw who was standing there, two distinctly different emotions coursed through my body. It was one of the weirdest things I have ever experienced!
Standing there, with a huge grin on his face, was none other than Julian Crawford. I was confused about why he was here at my house, especially after the bloody nose I had given him a couple of weeks before. But it was the second emotion that really worried me. I’d been looking for a certain feeling when I’d been looking at myself in my mirror earlier today, but never found it. Well, I found it now! I had clear feelings for Julian Crawford! It was nice! But also, really, really gross!
I felt like my whole body was trembling seeing him there. There was this tingle all up and down my spine that I had never felt before! He was just standing there, grinning at me like he had just won the jackpot, and it was doing weird things to me.
“You look amazing!” he exclaimed, and I spontaneously smiled widely.
Why? What was happening?
He stared at me for a bit longer, but I apparently couldn’t find my words either. Eventually, he stepped closer, and I wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but then he stepped back again before speaking.
“Hi, Mister D.,” he said with a grin while looking at my father who was now standing behind me.
I just rolled my eyes. My dad was way too overprotective. That reaction seemed to affect Julian and he started laughing for a minute.
“I’m sorry, Katy,” he said, using the version of my name that, up until this point, had only been used by my youngest brother. “We’re leaving to go to my Nana’s house, but I wanted to make sure that you got your present first.”
“Thank you,” I said, still smiling too broadly as I took it from him. He turned to leave, and I had a moment of panic before calling out. “Wait!”
He stopped, and I rushed back down the hall and grabbed one of the presents I had brought down from my room. I quickly checked the gift tag to make sure that it said ‘Julian’, then I rushed back to the door and handed it to him.
He smiled as he took it, and then we shared a look. At first I didn’t know what it meant, but then I almost blushed when I realized it was the “look” we had come up with that we could do instead of kissing in front of our parents. My whole body tingled again and my heart warmed up as he turned and rushed back to the minivan that was waiting for him. I continued watching until they were heading down the road before I turned and closed the front door behind me.
“Did your boyfriend bring you a kiss for Christmas?” Dennis mocked. It wasn’t enough to ruin this wonderful feeling though. He’d understand when he was older. I just ignored him and continued humming to myself as I walked down the hallway and took a seat on the couch next to the Christmas tree to open my present.
What I found inside, however, confused me all over again. It was a book. In fact, it was the book I most wanted today. I’d had plans to go get my new Kindle and use the gift card I’d gotten with it to buy it as my first digital book. But I couldn’t do that now! I wanted to read the copy Julian had given me instead. One small gift from such a wonderful boyfriend had just trumped the best gift I had received from Santa.
I was so confused! I didn’t know Julian very well, or at least I hadn’t before today. Memories kept popping up in my head that made me realize I knew him a whole lot better today than I had yesterday. And those memories were conflicting. Julian had always been more athletic than studious, and yet he had given me a book that most jocks probably had never even heard of. Anyone could have gone out and bought it if I had just told him what I wanted, but my memory told me I hadn’t. And the inscription that he had written on the inside cover clearly let me know that it was also one of his favorite books. But Julian didn’t read! Or at least, I didn’t think he did. But in all of my new memories he seemed smarter. He seemed like he cared about his grades. I was certain that he cared about me.
Was it possible that just being my boyfriend had changed him like that? He seemed like he was such a different person, a better person in these new memories. Had I had that kind of an effect on him? Somehow? Could that be possible?
I wasn’t sure. I just nestled into the pillows of the couch and turned the page to start reading.
It wasn’t until after I had finished Chapter 4 that I felt disgusted to realize I had a boyfriend, and at how I had reacted to him!
---
“Ten minutes, Kate!” I heard my mom call as I stepped out of my room later that night.
“I’m ready, Mom!” I replied as I started down the stairs again. I’d been ready all day! I had just gone up to get my shoes, a pair of low pumps that would match my outfit perfectly. “I just need to run a present over to Becky, quickly.”
She just rolled her eyes like she knew there was always something more I had to do. That was why she had called out the warning that we were leaving soon. Apparently, I wasn’t as punctual in this reality as George was.
Or maybe I was! I mean, I was already ready. It wasn’t like I was still up in my room getting dressed or anything!
I sighed. Memories coming to my mind seemed to indicate that I still liked being as punctual as I could, but I didn’t always accomplish it. Perhaps that was why Mom said what she did.
I went down the stairs, grabbed the other Christmas present I had brought down earlier and continued toward the front door. I paused only long enough to slip my feet into the pumps and grab a really, really nice warm coat from the coat closet before I stepped outside. Seriously, I had never had a coat that nice as George!
I was already down our own driveway and turning onto the sidewalk before I realized that I was outside, in public, for the first time as a girl! People other than my family were going to see me now. What if one of them remembered who I really was? The thought passed quickly, however. Nobody had remembered George yet, and I doubted that anyone would. Whatever had changed me had changed everything. Only I wasn’t different. Except I was. I kept doing things I never would have done. I kept feeling things I had never felt before. I might be the same me, but clearly I had changed too.
I just sighed as I walked up the driveway of the house next door to us and headed for the door. This was Becky’s house. She’d been my only girlfriend before today. We’d known each other since we were little. We thought that having that relationship would help us evolve it into something more, but it had only taken two months for us to realize we had been better friends than anything else.
Now, she was my best friend in the whole world. Besides my mom, of course. I had a similar, but also completely different, giddiness as I bound up the steps to her door as I’d had for Julian earlier. It was just as strong, but didn’t have that other “feeling” with it. I thought I’d had friends as George, but clearly I didn’t know what that term truly meant until now.
As she opened the door, we hugged as if we were identical sisters. It was a closeness I had never felt with anyone before. Well, there was my mom again. We were probably as close, but it was different.
Becky and I were inseparable, at least according to the memories that were flooding into my brain. We had still known each other as long as we had when I was George, but clearly we had become closer friends in this reality than in the real one. Other one. Whatever.
As we were giddily hugging each other we were catching one another up on our day faster than I thought two people could actually conduct a conversation. I realized that there had been this craving, this desire, that I’d had all day that I hadn’t been able to act on until now. Becky had been at her grandmother’s house all day, and now that she was home, I was leaving to go to Aunt Carol’s. It seemed unfair, and we had to pack all of our Christmas excitement and experiences into just 10 minutes! I was totally amazed at how adept and efficient we were at doing that, only stopping when Dad yelled at me a second time from where he, and the rest of the family, had already gotten into the van and were waiting for me on the road.
I gave Becky one last hug, and we exchanged presents, before I hurried down her driveway and climbed inside the van.
---
“Pete,” I nearly growled at my annoying cousin. “If you don’t stop staring at me like that, I’m going to start avoiding you! I’m your cousin!”
Plus I had a boyfriend, but I didn’t tell him that. Pete had always been annoying. He was my age, but he was Aunt Carol’s middle child. I had never really enjoyed spending time with him. But now, in this new reality, it was horrible. He kept staring at me in the same way I remembered staring at beautiful girls, and that made me really uncomfortable. Especially since he was my cousin! Julian, on the other hand, could stare at me that way all he wanted.
Then I almost choked up the piece of cake I had been eating! I didn’t want to have feelings like that! At least, not for Julian. But of course I didn’t choke in this reality. It was like all of those feelings and desires I’d had as George throughout the day, except for that one scary, horrible one this morning, just couldn’t break through into this new reality. Instead, in this reality, I just stared Pete down until he finally turned away. Shortly thereafter he stood up, and I was grateful that he left the room.
Christmas at Aunt Carol’s hadn’t been too different from other times my family had been at her house. People treated me differently, and I was wearing a dress for goodness sake, but everything else was pretty much the same. Except Pete, of course.
Dinner was fantastic. The cake Mom had made was melting in my mouth. Even the stupid white elephant gifts were enjoyable.
Aunt Carol doted on me a bit more than normal. Like Mom, she had been saddled with all boys, only three to Mom’s five, but clearly females were a minority between our two families. Some of Mom’s other siblings had more girls, and they were here too, but Mom and Aunt Carol had always been close, and she was treating me as if I was her own daughter. It appeared that she was trying to live out her desire to have her own girl through me. It certainly seemed like I also had a closer relationship with her than I’d had before, at least. Uncle Stan, on the other hand, seemed a bit more distant. He clearly seemed happy he hadn’t been saddled with any girls.
What my time at Aunt Carol’s house showed me, though, was that it didn’t matter who or what I was. My family loved me just the same. I was lucky enough in this world to have an immediate family and an extended family that had my wellbeing at heart. Some family members even more than others. My mom was the second oldest in her family, and as her oldest, and the oldest girl of my generation, I was clearly a role model to the young daughters of Mom’s siblings. They kept trying to spend time with me and get me to hang out with them, but since the next oldest girl in our family was 10, that wasn’t the most exciting thing to do. However I still did it for a little bit.
Why? I didn’t know. I didn’t know why I did most of the weird things I had done today. Clearly this new person that I was now cared more about other people than I had before.
There, I said it.
It wasn’t until we had returned home and I was back in my pajamas, in my bed, talking to my mom that I had that realization. I hadn’t been some kind of monster as George, but clearly I had more empathy for others now than I’d had then.
“You really are a different person today,” my mom said, causing me to almost choke. “I don’t know how many times I’ve seen you frustrated with Pete before, but you’ve never said anything. I’m proud of the strength you showed today.”
“Well he is my cousin,” I replied.
Mom laughed.
“True,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean that it didn’t take courage and strength. I’ve been watching you today, and I like this new person you’ve become. She affects those around her in more positive ways than I can count. I hope she sticks around.”
I groaned, at least inwardly. I really hoped that she didn’t stick around. I wanted George back. Yes, there were some good things that came out of today. Mom never had to yell at any of us. She did seem happier. That wish had clearly come true. And I realized on the drive home from Aunt Carol’s, that it had also buoyed my own spirits. It had to have been the wish that had done this. I’d wished for her to be happy, and she clearly was. Why I had to be a girl for that to happen was beyond me, but it had worked. I was glad that she could have at least one happy day, because that was all it was going to be. I had been pretty clear in that wish. I’d wished that she would be happy for tomorrow, which was today. That meant that when I woke up in the morning, I’d be George again. And that made me happy too.
Mom and I sat on my bed for a while, leaning our heads against each other and rocking slightly. It was a more intimate moment than I could ever remember having with my mother before, and I doubted that I would get a chance to have again after I changed back. I just wanted to cherish it for now and remember it for later. Eventually, though, she kissed me good night, closed my door and headed for her own room.
I climbed out of my own bed and approached the window. This was nothing like the type of Christmas I had expected this year, but it also wasn’t one I wanted to change. This was an experience that I would never forget. I never, ever wanted to do it again, but I would never forget it!
The moon shone down on the street outside my window, just like it had the night before. It was even snowing again. The sky was just as cloudless, and the magic was no less than it had been the night before. As I stood and looked out the window, I discovered the answer to a question that I hadn’t realized had been bugging me since yesterday. My mom had asked for my help yesterday, and I hadn’t known what she meant. But now, I knew. She hadn’t wanted me to do a chore or anything in particular. She’d wanted me to be a better example for my brothers. She’d wanted me to help them to be better people. She’d wanted me to do everything that Kate had done today. I now knew why that wish had come to pass the way it did. It was the only way I would have seen the difference. It was the only way to learn how to be a better person. I would always be grateful for that.
I started to turn back toward my bed, but a flash of light caught my vision. I looked up. It was another shooting star streaking across the sky. It looked identical to the one I had seen the night before. A warm feeling passed through me as I realized that the magic was real, and I knew what I needed to do.
I opened my mouth to make the wish.
“I wish my mom could be happy forever.”
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Vanguard Force
by Megan Campbell Copyright ©2023 Megan Campbell Released: August 5, 2023 |
Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.
I want to thank Voldy very much for all his help in editing and preparing this story for publication.
Foreword
This year (2023) is the 30th anniversary of the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. I might be dating myself by saying this, but I wanted to write my own version of what the Power Rangers could look like in tribute to a show I loved while growing up. There are definitely correlations to the show in this story, but this story is a standalone story. There are no Power Rangers in this story, and there are a lot of other elements that you may like if you don’t want to read a Power Rangers-like story.
All references and likenesses to the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers in this story are not my own and I claim no ownership over any of them. I just wanted to write a story in honor of the 30th anniversary. I plan to make no money off of this story and I did not intend to impede on the rights of the Power Rangers copyright holders in any way.
I hope you enjoy this tribute.
This story should be considered PG. There is no swearing. There is no sex. There are frank descriptions of body parts including primary and secondary sex characteristics.
—
Chapter 1
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” I complained, wishing I had a flashlight. I could hardly see where I was putting my feet and I had already rolled my ankle twice by placing it down on a rock in the dark.
“Quit whining like a baby, Elli,” Terry said. Terry was our de facto leader, since we all listened to him and followed him most of the time.
“Don’t call me that!” I replied, irritated.
“Well you kind of are, Ellison,” Erin added. “You felt it just like the rest of us. We can’t go back now.”
“I’m starting to agree with El,” Daisy said. “We don’t even know what that was. Why are we even here? I want to go home too.”
“Come on, you two,” John spoke up. “Whatever that was back there, it was clear to all of us we needed to come in here.”
I sighed and reluctantly continued to follow the others. It was hard, though. Terry was leading us through a cave and he had the only flashlight. I was at the back of the line, and it was very hard to see in the dark. I tried not to step on another rock, but all I could really do was put my feet where Daisy put her feet in front of me.
My mind wandered back to when we had been sitting in John’s basement not 20 minutes earlier. It had just been a normal Tuesday night. We had been playing board games around the table, something we did pretty often. The five of us had been friends since elementary school. Now, as high school juniors, we were starting to realize we only had so much time left together before we ended up going our separate ways.
Erin had just won a hand of cards when we all suddenly felt…something. I didn’t know how to explain it. We were sitting there, and then suddenly every one of us had some kind of vision that showed us where this cave was and how to navigate it. Somewhere in this cave was a door, and we had to find it. We had to. The feeling that accompanied that vision was pretty clear. I’d never felt as certain to do something as I had felt during that vision.
And here we were, slogging through a dark tunnel on the outskirts of town with only one flashlight. None of us had been here before. The entrance had been so difficult to find that I doubted if anyone had been in here in years. Hopefully we would be able to find our way back out after we found what we were looking for. We weren’t prepared for this! The urge to come here had been so strong that we didn’t even take the time to do anything but grab the single flashlight that Terry was now holding.
“What’s that?” John asked, following closely behind Terry. He reached over Terry’s shoulder and pointed to something in the dark.
I tried to peer around my four friends who were in front of me to see what it was. Terry turned the beam of the flashlight in that direction; in between all of the bodies in front of me, I knew it was the door that I had seen in the vision! The gasps from the others as they saw the door told me that we truly had all seen the same image in our minds.
We were standing in a small cavern which had a door at the far end. Surprisingly, the closer we got to the door the more it looked like some kind of an airlock that was frequently shown in movies with space ships or submarines.
Terry was the first one to reach the door. As I expected, he placed his hand right on a rectangular impression adjacent to the door. The door was already opening before I made it to the door.
Nobody said anything as Terry continued forward. We’d all seen this in the vision. We all knew what to do because we all knew what was behind the door. I followed the others, and by the time I entered the door, there was only one left.
“What?” I asked, staring at the small necklace on the small dais at the center of the round room. The others had each picked one up. “Erin, I think you…”
“No way!” she shot back immediately. “You know I don’t do pink!”
“Daisy?” I asked, picking up the necklace. I knew it was a lost cause the moment I saw that the necklace in her hand had a purple gem on it. Daisy’s favorite color was purple, and there was no way she would trade it for the pink one in my hands.
“But it is so…girly!” I whined. The necklace in my hands had a pink gem on a very feminine chain.
“Suck it up, El!” Terry said. “It is the only one left. Live with it.”
I didn’t want to live with it! I looked around at the others, who were putting their necklaces on. Terry had a red gem on his necklace, maybe a sapphire. I certainly wasn’t a gem expert. I just knew sapphires were red. Wait, maybe it was rubies. I was so confused!
Terry had a red gem on a pretty masculine chain. John’s was blue on a fairly gender-neutral chain. Maybe John’s was a sapphire. Erin’s was green on a chain that matched Terry’s masculine chain, but with an emerald. That stone I knew for sure. Daisy’s was purple on a chain that looked identical to the feminine one in my hands. I had no idea what kind of a gem was purple, though. Are purple diamonds a thing?
I sighed. I looked over to Erin one more time, but she glared at me as she shook her head before I could again ask her to trade. Then she slipped the emerald necklace around her neck and clasped it like she had been doing it her entire life. Maybe she had. Girls wore necklaces all of the time. Of course they knew how to clasp it themselves, right?
I stared at the necklace in my hands. It felt correct, somehow but I knew it was wrong. I couldn’t explain it any better than that. I didn’t know what to do with it, though. I managed to unclasp the necklace, and then I put it around my neck the way Erin had, but I failed to get the two ends to meet behind my neck. After struggling with it I looked back up to see how she was doing it, but she was already done and was looking at me.
“Come here,” she said, beckoning me toward her while she stepped toward me. As I approached she made a circle with her hands indicating that I should turn around. As I did, she took the necklace from my hands, and then reached over my head and placed it against my neck, clasping it behind me. It was emasculating! I’d seen something like that in movies and TV shows for years, but it was always the guy doing it for the girl, not the other way around!
Once the necklace was clasped, I felt a tiny current of shock pass through my body. It was unexpected, but it was also comforting, somehow.
“Okay,” Terry said. “That wasn’t so hard.”
The others nodded.
“What now?” Erin asked. “What are these things for?”
We looked at each other, and it seemed like we all felt the same thing. Once that shock had passed through us, it felt like that compulsion, which we had all felt, had dissipated. Now what were we supposed to do? Previously we were compelled to push forward, even when I wanted to stop! We had just trekked into some cave we had never seen before, opened a locked door that shouldn’t have been there, and then casually put on jewelry. That was messed up!
“What time is it?” Daisy asked fearfully. “I was supposed to be home to watch my sister at 9!”
“Um,” John replied and then looked at his watch. “It’s only 8:30.”
Daisy breathed a sigh of relief. It had only been 25 minutes since we left John’s basement, but we suddenly felt like that was hours ago.
“We better go though, if we are going to get you home in time,” John continued.
Terry nodded, and then scanned the room with his flashlight. There was nothing else here, but this was definitely not a cave. It was some kind of circular room with solid, smooth walls made of the same type of material as the door - or airlock - was made of. It didn’t look normal, but it also didn’t seem bizarre, either. Once he was certain there was nothing else here, he turned toward the door and started leading us back through the cave.
It took less time to get out. While the cave twisted and turned, there were no side passages to lead us astray. The cave went directly from the outside world to the door. That didn’t seem natural either.
Once we were out, we all seemed to decide together, without words, that it was time to go home. That too wasn’t normal. Sometimes one of us would have to leave early, but usually we were together until at least 10 o’clock. Terry had driven like usual, so he dropped us all off at our homes.
It was strange as I walked into my house. It was clearly my house but it felt wrong. Everything was there. There were pictures on the walls showing me and my family, my brother and sister, and my parents. All of the furniture was the same. The piano was still in the sitting room. The kitchen light was on like it always was. My parents were on the couch, watching some show that didn’t look all that interesting to me.
“You’re home early,” my mom said, looking up for a moment before turning back to the show.
“Daisy had to babysit,” I told her, but that wasn’t really a good excuse for why I was home. She knew one of us being gone didn’t stop the rest of us from doing something together. She started laughing, and immediately I had to start thinking up some other reason why I was home. Then I realized she was laughing at the TV, not at my reply.
I just shrugged, and then went upstairs to my room. Bradford was in his bedroom doing something, but the door was closed. Only his light let me know somebody was in there. Amy was on her bed reading as usual.
Amethyst! That was a purple gem! I felt so stupid! My sister’s name was Amethyst, or Amy for short, and I couldn’t even remember that, when I was trying to remember what kind of gem was on Daisy’s necklace! What kind of a brother was I?!
She waved at me when I walked past her room, and I waved back, hoping she couldn’t see how embarrassed I felt. Then I walked into my own room.
The feeling I’d had that something was wrong grew the moment I entered my room. I was annoyed that I still didn’t know what it was. The walls were still the same stark white they’d always been. My bed was still covered in a blue comforter. All of my books were on the bookshelf. There were a couple of posters on the walls. A trophy from Little League sat on the shelf next to my desk. The trophy seemed like it was my only real achievement in life, but it was just a participation trophy.
Nothing was out of place. Nothing. Why did it feel so wrong? I couldn’t shake it off, and laid down on my bed. I hadn’t intended to fall asleep, but I did.
—
Chapter 2
When I awoke, things felt more normal. I sat up from where I had fallen asleep in my clothes. I hadn’t even taken my shoes off or gotten under the covers. I looked around the room. It all felt normal. I was lying on my pink comforter. All of my books were on the bookshelf. Paintings of sunsets on a beach hung on my walls. My dance trophies and medals were on the shelf next to my desk. But the walls…something was wrong with the walls! They were pink! Somehow, the walls of my room were pink! How could that happen?
I felt a jolt of fear as I looked around the room once more. But that was the only thing that had changed! Everything else was just as I remembered it, but not the walls! What was going on?
“It’s time to get up, Em,” I heard my mom’s voice from the other side of my door followed by a knock loud enough to wake me if I hadn’t already gotten up.
“I’m up,” I replied. At least that was normal. She always woke me up that way, though I was usually already up when she did.
I sighed, got undressed, and then walked into my bathroom. It, too, was unchanged. The pink towels were still hanging from the towel rod, the mermaid shower curtain was hanging above the bathtub. A curling iron was sitting next to the plug on the counter. Ok, ok, it was pretty girly. But I shared the bathroom with Amy, and I had let her decorate it the way she wanted it to be. Yes, it was girly, but it hadn’t changed. At least, not like my bedroom had. The walls were pink in there!
I looked into the mirror, and all that looked back at me was the same boy that I saw every morning. He was kind of scrawny, but at least physically fit. He had light brown hair, brown eyes, and a masculine jawline that I was really proud of. There wasn’t much facial hair, yet, but I was sure it was just taking its time growing in.
I showered and dried, went back into my room, cringed at the now somehow pink walls, and opened my closet to get dressed. I was half-afraid of what I would find in there, but it didn’t appear like anything had changed. All of my T-shirts and jeans were in the middle of the closet where they were supposed to be. To the left were a few dresses I hadn’t worn in a long time, and to the right was a set of drawers that held everything from underwear to socks and nylons to pajamas and night shirts. Below the clothes was a too large assortment of shoes ranging from sneakers and flats all the way to a couple of high heels. On the shelf above was a number of boxes that I knew held old papers from school, keepsakes I wanted but was too old to display, and a pink suitcase that only got used when we went on trips somewhere. Overall, it was a typical boy’s closet everywhere in the world.
After getting dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, and wearing my favorite pair of sneakers, I went downstairs for some breakfast. Mom and Dad were already sitting around the table. Bradford, or Brad as he liked to be called, was pouring some cereal next to them. I could hear the shower start up on the floor above us and I knew Amy was now getting ready. My school started before hers did, which meant I got to use the bathroom first.
“Morning El,” Mom greeted me, handing me a bowl. It looked like cold cereal was on the menu this morning. Mom must have somewhere to go to, since usually she made a wonderful breakfast for all of us.
“Morning,” I replied while taking the bowl and sitting down. Brad looked at me oddly when I sat down next to him, but he didn’t say anything as we ate together. Once I was done I stood up, rinsed my bowl in the sink, and put it in the dishwasher. Then I wished my family goodbye, grabbed my backpack, and headed out to the bus stop that was only a few houses down the street. I kept getting some strange looks while I waited for the bus, and then while we were on the bus, but nobody said anything other than the typical chit-chat. John and Daisy lived on the same block as me, but they usually drove in together. I had hoped they would ask Erin and me to join them when John got a car, but since they had been getting closer and closer over the last year it was pretty obvious that the two of them wanted to spend some alone time together on the drive to and from the school. While I had my driver’s license and could drive myself, my family only had two cars and usually my parents needed them. Erin lived two houses away from me and usually rode the bus with me since she didn't have her own car either, but she wasn’t at the bus stop this morning. Alas, I had to ride the bus alone.
The school was the same that I had been going to for a few years. I walked in the doors with the other students who had ridden a bus and made my way to my locker. I continued to get a few strange looks, like people were seeing something that they didn’t expect, but still, nobody said anything to me other than saying hello or some small talk.
After exchanging the books in my backpack for the ones I would need today in my locker, I closed the door and almost jumped to see a face right on the other side.
“Morning,” Erin said to me. She had been purposely waiting to shock me! It was one of her favorite things to do in life, apparently. She did it often enough it must give her some thrill.
“Morning,” I replied, looking at her. She looked different than last night, but it took me a few moments to realize that she wasn’t wearing as much makeup as she normally did. She never wore a lot, but the times she wore even less really showed off how much of a difference makeup can make.
She looked at me oddly, too, though. I opened my mouth to ask her why, but she started talking before I had the chance.
“Did you dye your hair last night?” she asked.
That was a weird question. I had never dyed my hair before in my life, and I certainly hadn’t last night.
“No. Why?” I replied, curious why she would ask. She paused for a moment, trying to figure out whatever she planned to say next.
“It’s just…so red,” she finally said. That surprised me! I didn’t have red hair, I had brown hair! The only person in my family who had red hair had been Nana Delaney, my dad’s mom. At least in older photos. I had only ever known her with gray hair.
Erin reached into her bag and pulled out a compact, opened it, and then handed it to me. It contained a small mirror, and I used it to focus on my head. Sure enough, my hair was kind of red. Like…what the heck? I had never had red hair in my life! I had never even had close to red hair!
I just stared at it for a few moments before Erin took the compact from my hands and closed it, returning it to her bag.
“I guess that’s why I keep getting weird looks,” I mumbled, but I was distracted. I wanted to say something about how odd this was, but I didn’t know how to talk about it. First, the walls in my room were pink. Now, my hair is red? What was going on? It was just a little red-tinged brown. But still, it was different.
“I noticed a few odd things too,” Erin said. “I think it must have something to do with the necklaces. There is a lot more green in my life. The walls in my room are green now, for some reason!”
I was shocked and then I blurted, “My walls are pink!”
She started chuckling. That wasn’t very helpful. Yes, it must have been funny to her to hear such a manly, masculine guy as myself complain that the walls of my room were now pink. Har de har.
The bell rang before I could say anything else. I wasn’t quite sure what to say, anyway. This day was bizarre.
“Come on,” she said, lightly pulling on my hand. “Let’s get to class.”
—
After school we returned to John’s basement as usual. It was probably our most popular hangout spot. John was an only child and as such, was spoiled quite well by his parents. That, along with the lack of younger siblings to annoy us, meant that his basement was a fantastic place to spend time together.
But, this time the basement was different. There was a lot more blue down here than there had been the day before. Extra color in our lives seemed to be the norm now. Every single one of us had complained about the color of our necklaces showing up in more places in our lives today. All of them but Daisy laughed when I mentioned that the walls of my room were now pink. Most of them had new painted walls too. Only Daisy had been spared, but it was likely because her walls were already a light lilac color.
When people started talking about my redder hair, it started a whole conversation about some changes that people had seen. It made me take stock of my friends, to see if any changes had occurred to them.
Terry didn’t look much different. His head now sported a half inch of his afro hair he’d kept shaved for the last two years, but otherwise he looked the same. He was a bit of a gym enthusiast and had always been more buff than John or me, but he did seem like he had gained more muscle overnight. He had been boasting about how much he had to shave his face this morning too. If his mom hadn’t forbid him, he said he would have left the beard. He clearly had a 5 o’clock shadow right now that stood out way more on his light brown skin than it had at this time yesterday.
John had brown hair and brown eyes. That hadn’t changed at all. In fact, he looked the same as he always did. The only change he said he had noticed was that he now seemed to have abs, and we agreed when he pulled up his shirt. I pulled mine up right after that, and clearly I was not as lucky as John or Terry when it came to gaining a bit more muscle.
Erin now had abs though. That made me sad. She seemed excited at the fact that she was gaining more muscle. She had always been a bit of a tomboy, and was on the cross country team, which meant she was quite fit. Now, she was fit and very athletic-looking. She looked almost as if she worked out as much as Terry, but clearly girls wear muscle a bit differently. Her brown hair had actually gotten slightly darker, but not so much that it was as noticeable as my hair change. Her green eyes were also a bit bolder today.
Daisy hadn’t changed much, according to her. She seemed to be more fit, like the others, but she wasn’t putting on muscle; she was just more toned now. Her blonde hair and blue eyes hadn’t changed at all.
This conversation led me to take a more introspective look at myself in a mirror in the bathroom nearby. At first, I thought I looked pudgier. But Erin, who came into the bathroom with me, said that wasn’t true. I was more toned and more physically fit than I had ever been in my life, according to her. It took me a bit to see what she was talking about, because it looked like my skin had more padding under it. For whatever reason, it seemed like somebody had pulled up my carpeting (skin) and replaced the padding underneath with a luxury padding. Erin, unhelpfully, said it seemed a lot like what Daisy’s body now looked like.
When the two of us rejoined the others, they had agreed that both Erin and I seemed to have changed the most. I didn’t like the sound of that. When I sat down, Daisy grabbed my hand and stared at it for a moment.
“Did you paint Em’s nails while you were in there?” she asked Erin, rubbing a finger over one of my fingernails. That was weird. But when Daisy showed my finger to everyone, it was obvious that I was wearing a very light pink nail polish now!
I gasped and yanked my hand away from her! What was happening?! I panicked. I certainly didn’t want to wear nail polish! I was a boy! This was all wrong!
I felt tears starting to moisten my eyes, and just after the sobs started coming out of me, Erin was there, hugging me. Holding me. Comforting me. I’d never felt as protected as I did in her arms. Whatever was happening, it would be okay as long as Erin was there.
I cried on her shoulder for a few moments before I seemed to dry out. Once I did, she took my hand and examined my nails. There was no way to deny it, they looked like they had been painted. I almost wanted to start crying again.
“What is happening?!” I mewled.
“I don’t know,” she said, comfortingly. “I have some remover in my purse.”
That lifted my spirits, somewhat. She reached for her purse, and after rooting within it for a moment, she opened it wide and looked in. She looked confused while turning it over and dumping its contents on the table.
“I know I had some in here,” she said, questioningly. “I used it this morning to remove my own polish.”
She kept rooting around in the pile that had come out of her purse, but it was John that perked up and reached for something. It wasn’t nail polish remover, however. It was her wallet.
“Uh, Erin?” he said. “I think you should look at this.”
John handed the wallet to Erin, and when she took a look at it her eyes widened in surprise. She stared at it for a few moments before she sank down into her seat, pale as a ghost.
“What is it?” Daisy asked, reaching to take the wallet from her. When she did, her eyes went about as wide. “Oh, no!”
Curiosity piqued in the rest of us, and we all stared at her for a moment before she placed the wallet down on the table. A window on the outside of the wallet showed her driver’s license through it. And it had changed.
‘Aaron Emil Cromwell’, it read. ‘Male, 5’11” 185 lbs.’
The picture was the same girl I had known my entire life, but the stats were a far cry from the Erin Emily Cromwell I was familiar with! For one, she was definitely female. I knew that from first-hand experience when we got caught in a dressing room together. Two, she was 5 and a half feet tall at best, and couldn’t have weighed more than 130 lbs., if that!
There was a scramble that led to everyone trying to get to their own driver’s licenses. Well, everyone except for me. I was terrified to look after everything I had experienced today!
Terry’s weight was listed slightly higher and his height was an inch taller. Neither John’s nor Daisy’s license was any different. After each had confirmed that nothing as significant as what Erin had seen had occurred to their licenses, they all turned toward me.
“I don’t want to!” I practically cried. They kept staring at me, except Erin as she was still lost in her own emotions.
With much trepidation, I reached around to my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. It didn’t look any different, but I did not have a window for my license like Erin had. I had to grab it and pull it out.
I took a moment and tried to remember what I knew was on it: ‘Ellison Ray Delaney, Male, 5’9” 172 lbs. Brown hair, brown eyes, no driving restrictions’.
I hoped and I pleaded and I prayed and I yearned and I begged anybody, anything, that would listen to me that when I pulled it out, none of that had changed. I’d be okay if it said I had red hair now.
I pulled the card out of its sleeve with my eyes closed. I didn’t want to look, but I knew I had to. I peeked, and my world tumbled. ‘Ember Rae Delaney, it read. Female, 5’2” 115lbs. Red hair, Green eyes, no driving restrictions.’
For a moment, I was relieved that I didn’t have to wear corrective lenses now. Then the inevitable feeling of dread that had led to Erin’s ghostly appearance welled up inside of me as I slumped into my own chair.
My worst fear was coming true! Ever since the first time someone had shortened my name and called me Elli, I had been scared that somehow I would turn into a girl. It was years later that I realized how stupid that thought was. But clearly, I was wrong now! Here I was turning into a girl and I couldn’t deny it anymore! Nothing had really changed, but everything had! The walls of my room were pink. My hair was turning red. Nail polish had appeared on my hands. And I didn’t have any abs even though girls can have abs. But clearly that wasn’t in the cards for me. I was definitely more toned than I was yesterday, but that layer of padding they put under the carpet that’s called skin? Well, health class had taught me that women have a thicker layer of fat just under their skin. It was biological. And now, I seemed to have it too. How long until the rest of me is just as female?
“So that’s why you called him ‘Em’, Daisy,” John said, breaking my funk for at least a little bit. What was he talking about?
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Daisy echoed my thoughts.
“When he came out of the bathroom and you grabbed his hands, you asked if Erin had painted Em’s nails.” John told her. “I thought you had just made a mistake, but now I wonder.”
I replayed that moment in my mind, and sure enough she had. And she wasn’t the only one. I now distinctly remembered my mother doing the same thing when she woke me up this morning, though not when we were at the breakfast table. The same thing had also happened a few times at school when I was greeted by others. I had never noticed it until now.
I started crying. There wasn’t anything else I could do.
—
Chapter 3
I don’t really remember what happened next. I only remember somebody splashing water from a water bottle on me sometime later.
“What was that for?!” I yelled, and started looking around to figure out where I was. I was in John’s car!
“You weren’t moving!” Erin retorted while sitting next to me. It was clear she had been the one to splash me based on the stance she had over me in the back seat of John’s car. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”
I looked past her and out the window of the car and noticed that we were outside of my house. I had no memory of getting in the car, let alone the drive over here.
Erin reached out for me, and helped me slide over the back seat and out the door opposite of where I had been sitting. It seemed like it would have been easier to go out the door I had been closest to, but she was apparently determined to “help” me. Once I was out she put her arm around my waist to support me, and started to walk me toward the front door. At first, I was disgusted by it because it seemed like another act of a girl acting as the guy and treating me as the girl. But, after one step, I was grateful for the support. It took a few more steps before I felt like I could do it on my own, but she held on to me, anyway.
“I’m sorry,” she said when we were half way up the walk. “You were right. I should have taken the pink necklace.”
I had been fretting about what was happening to me, but I had almost forgotten that she was going through it too, just the other way. I looked up at her. She was smiling, but I could see the pain and worry on her own face. This clearly wasn’t what she had been expecting from the necklaces, either.
I merely nodded. I was still in shock. Erin let go once I was on the steps; I almost wavered, but was able to remain standing. She was staring at me, and I became worried. Erin and I had been friends forever, but I’d never seen her like this. She looked awkward, almost like…No! That couldn’t be it! She looked almost like she wanted to kiss me!
“My dad is out of town on a business trip,” she said instead. “Mom said I can use his car tomorrow. I’ll pick you up for school and check in on you, okay?”
I nodded. Both of us knew that things could be very different tomorrow after what we had gone through today. She smiled a forced smile, and then opened the door for me. Once I was through the doorway, she closed it behind me, and I felt a bit safer. I was home. If nothing else, my family was here.
“Em?” I heard from the kitchen. Before I could even respond my mom came around the corner, and the questioning tone in her voice turned into worry as she hurried over to me. “Ellison? Are you okay?”
“I don’t know, Mom,” was my reply. “I don’t feel good. I’m just going to go up to my room and lie down for a while.”
Sleep would get me away from what was happening, at least. Out of sight, out of mind.
“Are you sick?” she continued, placing her hand on my head. “No temperature.”
“I just,” I replied. “It’s just been a bad day. I just want it over.”
She looked worried, but nodded.
“Please let me know if you need anything,” she said. “I’ll check in on you in a little while, then.”
I nodded again, and she stepped back to let me pass. I slowly made my way up the stairs and to my room.
While I was gone, my room had changed some more. It seemed like the changes were everywhere now. The walls were still pink, but now the comforter on my bed was also pink. The books on my bookshelf seemed unchanged, but there were a few paintings of beaches on my walls, with the brilliant pinks and oranges of sunsets. And on the shelf next to my desk, instead of my Little League participation trophy, there were now a number of trophies and medals that indicated I had been taking dance classes for a long time, and I had possibly even won a few contests!
Worriedly, I opened my closet, and I was dismayed to see that it now contained dresses, high heels, and other feminine shoes. When I opened the drawers I found panties and bras, nylons, nightgowns, and a whole host of feminine items that shouldn’t be there. Even my black suitcase that I’d had since I was 12 was now pink!
Stepping into the bathroom, I was worried about what else could have changed, but it was, thankfully, the same. Pink towels, mermaid shower curtain, curling iron on the counter. That wasn’t new. But when I started opening my drawers, my heart was crestfallen. I found powders and lotions, makeup and nail polish. In the last drawer, there were…there were…tampons and pads! I hadn’t even thought about that! I just wanted to scream!
I fell to my knees and sobbed on the floor of the bathroom. My life was over!
I had no idea how long I had been kneeling there and sobbing, before someone came into the bathroom. It could have been a minute, it could have been an hour. But Amy came in through the door to her room with a worried look that only intensified when she saw me. I didn’t remember if she had ever even seen me cry, and now here I was bawling my eyes out in front of her.
“El, are you okay?” she asked worriedly. She came over and knelt down beside me, putting her hand on my shoulder.
“No!” I replied through the tears. “I’m never going to be okay again!”
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
I didn’t know what came over me, but in that instant, I couldn’t hide it from her. I was the oldest in the family and Amy was the youngest, but there were only 3 years between us. I was 17, and she was about to turn 14. We’d always had a good relationship, which was proven by the fact I shared a bathroom with her and not Brad. Admittedly, my room was the biggest yet shared the bathroom with the adjoining room. If I had wanted my own bathroom, I would have had to take Brad’s smaller room when my parents offered it to me. But at the time, despite wanting the bigger room, I knew that Brad and Amy would never get along if they had to share. But I knew I could get along with her just fine.
“I’m turning into a girl, Amy!” I blurted out. “And I don’t want to!”
She stared back at me blankly. She probably had no idea what I was talking about, and it certainly made no sense.
“Are you transgender?” she asked, trying to make some sense of what I had said. “Is that why you dyed your hair?”
“I didn’t dye my hair!” I said with more anger than she deserved. I was so grateful that she didn’t pull away from me at that moment, and after calming down, I repeated what I had said. “I didn’t dye my hair, and I’m not transgender. I don’t want to be a girl!”
She was quiet again, trying to piece something else together.
“Then what…” she started, but never finished her question.
I just gestured at the drawer that was still open next to me. A box of tampons and pads was clearly visible, with other female items that I didn’t recognize at first glance behind them. She took in the sight for a moment. We had divided the drawers in the bathroom between us. The left-side drawers were hers, and the right side was mine. What she was seeing was clearly in my drawer. I knew she had started having periods herself, so it wasn’t like these were some kind of mystical items to her, yet she stared at them like she didn’t understand what they were.
“Why do you have…” she started, but trailed off again.
“I didn’t buy them and I didn’t put them there!” I blurted between more sobs. “They just appeared there! Just like everything else in those drawers! And, and…and my room is changing too! The walls are pink! There are dresses and bras in my closet! And apparently I have been taking dance classes since I was a little kid!”
She looked totally confused again, and stared at the drawer for a moment before pushing it closed, and then opening each of the other two drawers one at a time. I didn’t know if she ever got into my drawers for any reason, but what she found in the ones she opened certainly wasn’t what she was expecting.
“Are you okay?” she asked again. I wasn’t getting through to her what was happening to me. What I had said would be hard for anyone to believe. I just shook my head, tears running down my cheeks some more.
“Come on,” she said, and made an attempt to lift me, but I was too big for her to move. It shook me out of my slump, however. If I took her into my room, she’d understand.
I stood up, and then turned to go back to my room. When we entered, I heard a small gasp from behind me.
“When did you do this?!” she asked, surprise in her voice.
“I didn’t do anything!” I wailed. “The walls were pink when I woke up, and everything else changed sometime during the day! I don’t want to be a girl, Amy!”
“Ok, ok,” she said. “But what makes you think you are turning into a girl? Having your room change like this is one thing, but you look the same to me.”
“But I’m not,” I told her. “I haven’t changed much, but the signs are there. It’s happening!”
“How?” she asked. She still looked incredulous. Admittedly, it wasn’t every day that someone you know spontaneously starts changing sex.
I reached into the collar of my shirt, and pulled the necklace out. It was such a beautiful thing, but I had no doubt that it was causing this.
“This,” I told her. “My friends and I…well, something happened. Now, we all have one of these, and it is making changes to us. Erin is turning into a boy!”
Now she looked even more confused. Maybe she thought I was going insane. Maybe I was!
“I think maybe you just need some sleep,” she finally said. She didn’t seem to be processing this as quickly as I hoped she would. I realized that I needed her. I wasn’t going to get through this without her. But she wasn’t at a place where she could help me yet.
I nodded. Sleep sounded good. Hopefully things would just go away while I slept.
I wasn’t dumb enough to truly believe what I had thought, but it was all I had to cling to as I fell into the bed and left the world for dreamland.
—
When my eyes next opened, my whole body filled with dread, and I shot up in bed. What I felt from my body only exacerbated the fear that was overcoming me.
A gasp came from the door to my bathroom, and I immediately looked over to see Amy, but I quickly turned my attention to my now exposed torso. What I found was far from what I was hoping to find.
I had breasts! They were very small – way smaller than anything I had ever seen on the Internet. They were also much smaller than what I had seen when I’d shared the changing room with Erin, and we got “curious” about each other’s bodies. We didn’t do anything more than look at each other, but it had given me the best view I’d ever had about what a female body looked like naked. What I saw when I looked down was clearly the same type of body, though I had never seen it when looking at myself before!
I looked back up at Amy, hoping that she would tell me I was just seeing things. But her expression dashed any hope I might have still had. She was staring at me like she couldn’t comprehend what she was seeing. I was also having difficulty comprehending.
There were a lot of things I expected her to say, but she surprised me when she spoke.
“You sleep in the nude?” she asked.
“No,” I replied, pulling the sheets off of me and standing up. “I wear boxers to bed.” Then I looked down.
I wasn’t wearing boxers now! Both of us stared down at the pink panties that now covered my nether regions! Even worse, they fit me perfectly! There was nothing about them that indicated I was really a teenage boy! They were flat and tight! I was so shocked that I felt tears falling down my cheeks before I even knew that I was crying!
To her credit, Amy rushed over to me immediately and wrapped her arms around me. I didn’t know I needed it, but her hug buoyed my spirits more than any other hug I’d ever had.
A knock came from my door before anything else could happen.
“Time to get up, Em,” my mom said. Amy let go of me and took a step back.
“I’m up!” I called back, like I always did.
“Are you alright?” came her reply through the door. Clearly something alarmed her.
“Yes?” I replied, but nobody would have missed the question that it was instead of the answer I had meant to give.
A moment later, the door opened, and my mom caught a glimpse of the new me. She stood there in shock for a moment before coming into my room and closing the door behind her.
“What…” she started, but clearly was having her own difficulty in trying to understand what was happening.
“I’m turning into a girl!” I blurted as even more tears started breaking out of the jail my male body had been for years. I had never cried this much before in my life!
I didn’t know how my mom took that news. How does anyone take the news that someone they loved was spontaneously changing sex? But she came over to me and hugged me even more deeply than Amy had. If I thought Amy’s hug had been what I needed, then my mom’s was something beyond. I loved my sister, but there is a bond between mother and child that does not exist between other people.
We stayed in that hug for a while. When she finally let go of me, the tears had stopped. I didn’t feel any better about my situation, but I also no longer felt like I needed to keep crying about it. At least, not right then.
“You better hurry and shower,” she said. “We’ll help you get dressed and ready before you have to catch the bus.”
I just stared at her, aghast! I was literally changing sex right in front of her, but she wasn’t going to let me skip school today! I was stunned!
“Can’t I just…” I started.
“No,” she interrupted. “You are going to have to get through this.”
My mom had been the valedictorian at her high school. I was nowhere close to achieving that, but that didn’t stop her from treating me like I was. She rarely ever let any of us miss school for any reason, and it always had to come with an appropriate reason. Clearly, becoming somebody new, changing sex beyond anything in the realm of possibility, and having a major identity crisis, were not appropriate reasons. She didn’t even seem to be too worried that this was happening!
“But…” I tried again.
“No,” she stopped me. “We can worry about this after school, but you need a good education.”
I sighed. Her rationalization seemed ridiculous given the circumstances, but clearly I wasn’t going to win this argument, based on years of precedent.
“Go shower,” Mom ordered and then gestured toward Amy. “Tell me what you know while Elli gets showered. Then we can do her hair and makeup.”
“Mom!” I complained instinctually at that specific shortening of my name, even if it did describe me better than my full name now.
The two of them were talking, and I had no choice but to go into the bathroom. I stood in front of the full-length mirror inside.
Once again the tears started to well up at the sight of the pretty young woman who looked back at me. I looked shorter than I had been yesterday, but I certainly didn’t look like the 5’2” that my driver’s license had stated. Tomorrow then, I supposed bitterly. My body was clearly female. The curves were in the right places. I was skinny but very physically fit. I didn’t have any abs, but there was clear muscle definition across my entire body. Whatever this body did on a regular basis, I clearly stayed in shape. My boobs were small. I guessed that they weren’t fully developed, but I had absolutely no idea of the difference between a fully developed breast versus a growing breast. The pink necklace looked even daintier as it sat above where I now had a small amount of cleavage.
My face was completely changed, yet at the same time it was clearly still me. Everything seemed a bit smaller, or at least delicate. My nose had changed a lot. It hadn’t been large, but it was now dainty and pert. My eyes were now green. But what really caught my attention were the freckles on my cheeks, below my eyes, and on my nose! There weren’t many, but I hadn’t had any spots on my face before, and those freckles stood out!
My hair was red! It had started to go that way yesterday, but today it was clear that I had been born with red hair. The green eyes, freckles, and the natural red hair color certainly indicated some type of ancestry I hadn’t seen in myself before today. My hair had been straight yesterday, but it was wavy now, and it hung to where the tips of the strands would brush my shoulders every once in a while. It did a good job of framing my face. It almost looked like a red sun surrounding my face with wavy strands. I loved it at the same time that I hated that it was now mine! I was sure there was some name that described my new hair style better than my feeble attempts. ‘Lob’ came to mind for some reason, but I was new to this whole “girl thing” and I didn’t know if that was it! In fact, why was I even thinking about the name of the hairstyle?!
I sighed. For better or worse, this nightmare was happening. I didn’t want it to, that was for sure, but it was. It was likely to get worse, too, as there were clear indications that I wasn’t complete. I knew that I was not an expert on the female body before this morning, but I’d seen enough to know that my body looked somewhat immature. I couldn’t really describe why it seemed that way to me, it just did.
Knowing that I’d better start getting ready so I could get the help I needed before Erin came to pick me up, I turned toward the hamper next to the door that led back into my room. I pulled off the panties, put them inside, and then stood in front of the mirror once again.
I let out a sigh of relief to see that I still had a penis. It was tiny tiny tiny, but it was clearly a penis. It was probably no bigger than the now smaller thumbnail I sported, but there was no mistaking what it was. The shape was the same, but it was just really really tiny. Tiny enough it didn’t even bulge the panties I had been wearing. My testicles were missing, however. The penis was alone in a great expanse of skin that led back between my legs. There was no sign of a vagina or anything else that would make me think I was female down there, but it was easy to see where it would soon be. My now red pubic hair did not cover the whole area; instead there was a bare patch of skin where I could almost imagine a pair of lips – which I did not want - would soon form.
I stepped over to the toilet to do my morning business. I wanted to pee standing up since it was likely to be one of the last times I would ever get the chance, but my penis was so small I wasn’t sure I would be able to direct the stream properly. Begrudgingly, I turned and sat down. I had known that I would have to do this eventually, and it looked like it would start now.
When I let go and felt the stream begin, however, I yelped in surprise! There were a few things that happened that I clearly didn’t expect. I had fully expected the stream to come out of the end of my small penis, but it wasn’t. Health class had taught me the difference between male and female genitals, and apparently my urethra was now somewhere back behind my penis. I couldn’t see it, but I clearly saw the stream coming from it. With my very limited knowledge, I had always imagined that pee just trickled out of women, but it looked and felt like I now had a fire hose back there instead of the garden hose that I was used to! Without any lips or other structures down there to impede its progress, my urine stream almost looked like a laser as it shot out of me and into the toilet bowl with a loud hiss that was alien to my ears.
When I finally finished, I wondered if I needed to wipe down there. I knew that the urethra location on women led to pee going in all sorts of directions, but without being complete, and with it clearly coming out unimpeded, was it required? Ultimately, I decided I didn’t want to risk having to clean up a mess so I grabbed a wad of toilet paper. Then, oddly, I started wiping from the front of my penis to the back of my crotch like I knew what I was doing. I hadn’t thought about it, but I did what seemed natural. It felt like the action had been some type of “learned” behavior. I dropped the toilet paper between my legs, stood up, lowered the toilet seat cover, and flushed. Peeing for the first time had sadly confirmed that I was becoming female. There was no way to correlate being male with what I had just experienced. I looked into the mirror once more. Even though there was a miniscule penis between my legs, it certainly didn’t act like one anymore.
I stepped over to the bathtub and pulled the shower curtains closed and then reached in and turned the shower on. Then, while the water warmed up, I walked over to the towel rack and selected a clean pink towel. It felt softer than normal against my skin. I’d heard that women had more sensitive skin. I didn’t know if that was true, and it certainly didn’t feel any more sensitive, but it felt different.
Surprisingly, showering as a girl wasn’t much different than showering as a boy. It was weird gliding my hands over the new bumps of my breasts while lathering up my chest, but it seemed more like a novelty. I was sure that in time I wouldn’t even notice a difference. When I got down, um, there, it was odd to feel my tiny penis where I was used to one that was bigger. I was also able to feel the hole beneath it. There was nothing else down there, however. I half expected maybe there was the beginning of an indent where I would soon have a new set of lips or something, but there wasn’t. There was just the tiny penis and a hole. I tried to be careful down there, though. I lived with two females who had complained about UTI’s, and I knew that women had a greater chance of developing a UTI. I didn’t know if that included me yet. I really hadn’t ever learned what caused them, but didn’t want to have it happen accidently because I was exploring things down there that weren’t complete. I definitely had some learning to do.
Without thinking I began washing my hair, something I hadn’t meant to do. When I was done showering, I turned off the shower, grabbed my towel, and started drying off. Once I was dry I wrapped it around myself, pulled back the shower curtain, and stepped out. I glanced over at the mirror again. It was so hard not to look. Immediately I was surprised to see that I had wrapped the towel around my entire chest and under my arms, instead of around my waist! Clearly, I had instincts in this body I had never had in my life. I silently prayed that these instincts would continue to help me adjust as this unwanted intrusion kept asserting itself into my life.
They did! I found that out right after brushing my teeth, when I instinctively reached for the hair dryer. I turned it on, grabbed a brush I had never seen before, and started doing my hair. By the time I was done, it looked fantastic! It looked like I had done this many times before. Then, I opened the drawer I had seen last night that held all of my new makeup and went to work. Not long after, I looked just like any other teenage girl I saw walking around my school. To be more specific, it was clear my body knew what to do even if I had no idea what I was doing.
When I returned to my room, my mom and Amy were still there, and they had been busy. Laying on my bed were a pretty pink dress, a bra, panties, and a dainty pair of sandals that were made to look better than they probably felt to wear.
“What?! No!” I exclaimed immediately. They both turned to me and their eyes widened again. They had been waiting to do my hair and makeup and they clearly hadn’t been ready for me to appear as made up as I already was.
“You did your makeup?!” Amy asked sadly. She probably had been looking forward to making me a living doll.
I nodded. “Whatever is happening has apparently given me the skills I need. But I’m not wearing a dress to school!”
“Now Elli,” my mom said. “We’ve been talking, and we think this will be the best thing for you. One, it will make you feel more feminine and that will help you get used to this until we can figure out what is happening and how to change you back. Two, it will show everyone else that you are now a girl, and that they should treat you that way.”
I rolled my eyes.
“One,” I retorted. “Stop calling me Elli. If you can’t use my real name then you should probably call me Ember. That is what is on my driver’s license now. Two, I don’t want to “feel more feminine”. Three, I don’t want to be treated as a girl. And four, I don’t think there is a way back.”
Mom was silent for a moment as she contemplated what I had said.
“Ember? I really like that. I had thought about it as a name that I might use if you had been born a girl, but you weren’t. With your hair and complexion, that really fits. I like it.”
She smiled widely, which caused me to roll my eyes again. The last thing I needed was my mom taking this in stride! Then again, everyone was. Even me, somewhat. I clearly didn’t want this, but whatever was doing this to me was also making everyone okay with it somehow. I kind of, sort of, hoped that was the case if my mom was going to force me to go to school today.
I sighed, again. Maybe they were right. I was worried about what my schoolmates would think, and this would be a strong message about my future. I couldn’t describe how I knew, but I knew that this was my future. There was no going back now. Whatever the necklace was doing to me, it wasn’t going to undo it.
“Ok,” I replied reluctantly, feeling like I had caved in despite the reasons that made it a good idea. “But I’m not quite female, um, down there. Let me get dressed alone.”
A perplexed expression crossed both of their faces for a moment as they no doubt tried to imagine what I had no desire to show them. Then, my mom nodded.
“Amy, you go and get ready. I’ll go finish breakfast,” she said. After Amy left, my mom turned toward me and hugged me again before exiting the door to the hallway.
I unwrapped my towel, laid it on my bed and started to get dressed.The experience was strange, but it was also normal at the same time. Pulling a fresh pair of panties up my legs was no different than my boxers. They just sat differently on my body when they were all the way up. It was actually kind of comforting the way they hugged the new curves I seemed to have.
Putting on the bra was definitely one of the stranger parts. It once again had no correlating experience with my male life to give me context to how it would feel. But as I lowered my breasts into the cups and then reached behind me to snap it closed, it felt normal. Or at least as normal as doing something totally weird - that I had never done before but also seemed like I did every day - could feel normal. I had looked at the tag attached to the bra and found out that I now had an A cup. I didn’t really understand what that meant, but I knew it meant my breasts were small. They still seemed quite big when I thought about how I didn’t have any boobs yesterday, however.
Putting on the dress wasn’t much different than pulling on a T-shirt, except there were some new bumps on my chest that I had to get it over and it fell down my body much further than a shirt. Once it was on it was kind of odd how the hem swayed and brushed against my legs as I moved, but it too felt a bit like a novelty. A few days wearing a dress and I probably wouldn’t even notice it just like all of the sensations we had each day that we ignore because it is just “normal” to feel that way.
I grabbed the sandals next and slipped them on my feet. They turned out to be more comfortable than I thought they would. It was a bit peculiar since they had a very small wedge heel at the back, but it didn’t really feel any different than the cowboy boots I had worn to a western dance we’d had at school a few months ago.
Once I was dressed, I looked into the smaller mirror above my desk. The mirror hadn’t been there two days ago. My hair and makeup hadn’t been harmed by putting on the dress. I picked up the towel from my bed and dropped it in the hamper just inside the bathroom door. Amy would have screamed at me yesterday if I’d opened the door while she was in the shower, and I usually dropped the towel in the hamper before coming into my room to get dressed. But today, she just kept showering like she didn’t even notice.
I then walked back over to my desk and picked up my now pink backpack that was sitting on top of it, picked up my tote bag from beside my bed, and then left the room.
I said the feeling of the dress swirling around me was a bit of a novelty, but the more I moved, the more it felt unique. There was a unique sensation I hadn’t ever felt before and I couldn’t relate it to anything I had experienced. It was kind of exciting in that uniqueness.
When I had made it down the stairs I dropped my backpack and tote bag next to the door before I turned toward the kitchen. There was more noise than usual coming from the room. At first I thought it might be because my mom was telling my dad and Brad about what had happened to me, but it quickly became clear that somebody had the TV on in the living room, which could be seen from the dining room table. That was something Mom usually didn’t allow.
As I stepped into the kitchen I fully expected Dad and Brad to stare at me, but instead Mom, Dad and Brad were looking at the TV and hadn’t even realized I had come in. That was fine with me! While they were engrossed with the TV I grabbed a plate and loaded it with some pancakes and bacon, then sat down at the table. They still hadn’t even looked up at me so I looked over at the TV.
“...not sure where they came from, or who they are, but it is clearly some kind of terrorist attack,” a woman’s voice came from the TV. The pictures showed an area of the state capital, which was about 20 minutes north of us, that looked like a bomb had exploded outside of a bank. The storefronts around the bank were shattered, and a few of the buildings had collapsed. There didn’t seem to be anybody nearby.
I wasn’t sure what had happened, but I needed to eat. I grabbed the syrup and spread it across my pancakes, then grabbed my fork and started eating.
“Oh, no,” the TV newscaster said. “They’re back.”
I looked up from my plate toward the TV and I watched something come out of the bank, followed by three more. I didn’t know what they were. They didn’t look human, only humanoid. They had gray skin, two arms, two legs, and a head, but they didn’t seem to be wearing any clothes and had a large bulbous head that was grotesque. We couldn’t discern the eyes and mouth amongst the many bumps of what almost looked like clay caked across their entire heads. Their bodies looked much the same, though they were smoother. I morosely thought that they were kind of like what I was going through, because they didn’t appear to have any genitalia whatsoever. All three of them were carrying bags of money, and they ran out of the camera frame. Soon a helicopter camera showed them getting into some kind of vehicle. The vehicle rumbled to life and then started driving down the road. The helicopter moved to follow them, but shortly after something shot out of the car toward the helicopter, and the picture went black.
I lost my appetite.
“It appears we have lost the feed,” the newscaster said, but that seemed like a kind way to say that the helicopter had likely just been shot down.
My family started looking around to see each other's reactions. They all had wide eyes, and when my dad and brother saw me, they got even wider.
“Who are you?” my brother blurted but then recognized me a moment later. Dad just stared. Apparently Mom had told Dad about what was happening to me, but clearly not my brother.
“Ember,” I replied. I’d better get used to it. They had better get used to it too.
Brad stared at me like I was just as bad as what he had just seen on TV. I knew he had more to ask, but he wasn’t sure where to start.
Fortunately, there was a knock on our front door before he could continue. I looked down at my left wrist where there was a pink smart watch wrapped around it along with a few bracelets, none of which I had remembered putting on before leaving my room. The watch informed me that there was a very good chance it was Erin at the door, based on the time. I grabbed my napkin and dabbed my lips carefully before I stood up.
“Erin is giving me a ride to school,” I informed my mom. She nodded and then grabbed my plate to let me know she would clean it up, then hugged me.
“Be safe, and enjoy it,” she said. “I promise you, this can be a good thing.”
I nodded. I didn’t agree with her, but it seemed like the right thing to do. With both my brother and my father staring at me, I walked out of the room and to the front door. There, I grabbed my backpack and put it on, and then lifted my tote bag and then opened the door.
The expression that covered my face as the person at the door came into view mirrored what my family’s expressions had been all morning. It also probably mirrored the expression on the young man who was staring back at me: shock.
—
Chapter 4
I couldn’t stop staring in shock at the boy in front of me. “Boy” was the wrong word just as “girl” didn’t accurately describe me, yet. This boy, or rather, young man, was very well built. He was taller than me and was definitely more muscular. It looked like he worked out and lifted weights like Terry. He was wearing blue jeans and a tight green T-shirt that showed off his well-defined muscles. He also had dark brown hair, green eyes, and a face that was very very handsome. It was also Erin’s face at the same time that it wasn’t. Just like mine.
He managed to recover first.
“El?” he asked. I nodded, but there was no way he could have thought I was somebody else.
“We better go,” I said, not wanting to get into a discussion about what was going on with members of my family.
This perfect specimen of manhood nodded, and then reached out and took my tote bag before he stepped back to let me out of the house. I exited, closed the door behind me, and followed him to Erin’s father’s car that was parked on the street. We didn’t say anything until we were both sitting in the car.
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” he said while handing me the tote bag and then starting the car. “At least, not after the changes I’ve experienced this morning.”
I nodded again, still afraid to speak. His voice was deeper, and somehow soothing. Had my voice changed and I hadn’t noticed it?
“Are you, all done?” I asked as he pulled out and started driving toward the school. I knew the answer was no, and that wasn’t quite what I was trying to ask, but it got the job done.
“No,” he said with a large smile. “I have a bit more to go. My, um, well, my penis is really small still, but the rest of me is pretty much what you would expect from a teenage boy. You?”
“I’m pretty much the same,” I told him. “My, um, penis is really, really small too.”
“You still have a penis?” he asked. This was a very weird conversation to have with the girl friend I knew best in life. “It isn’t a clitoris now or anything?”
“Well, yes, maybe,” I said. “I don’t really know what a clitoris looks like, but what is down there looks almost exactly like my, um, old, penis, but it’s just really, really small. I also don’t pee out of it anymore.”
He started chuckling. It only took a moment for me to join him. This was definitely one of the more frank discussions we had ever had before. We’d both seen each other naked, and had let each other examine our bodies in an effort to understand the other sex better. We’d been able to ask each other questions after that. But this conversation was still weird and approached “bizarre”.
“Mine works now,” he finally said. “It’s only about the size of my thumb, but it seems to be fully functional. It can even get kind of hard, like it is right now.”
I felt myself blushing profusely at his words. I knew what could cause that type of reaction first-hand. Was I doing that to him?
“It looks like you’re growing up top, though,” he said, changing the subject slightly.
“My bra said it was an A cup,” I said. “They are really small.”
“These pecs are still more like boobs,” he said. “I might look like I have well-defined pecs, but they look more like they did when they started growing when I was 11, than what they will probably look like tomorrow.”
I looked over at his shirt. The bulge at the area where his, her, boobs used to be was definitely smaller than mine, and if he hadn’t said anything I wouldn’t have known they weren’t just well-muscled pecs. I was sure they were anyway, based on the rest of his muscles.
He took his eyes off of the road for a moment and looked over at me, and saw me staring at him. That caused me to blush more. He looked back at the road, and then glanced my way again.
“Are you going to be okay, Ellison?” she asked, more worry in his new voice than I had heard from her in a long time.
That was an interesting question. Was I going to be okay? Well, yeah, I was. I didn’t want this. I would do anything to reverse it. But I also knew reversal was unlikely. The necklaces had some plan for us. We had been able to feel it since we first put them on. For whatever reason they – whoever “they” was - had chosen us, and were now remaking our bodies, I knew that it was going to be permanent. It had made me cry last night, on more than one occasion. But today? It didn’t feel as bad. I still didn’t want it. I still felt the same emotions. But for some reason, I was more okay with it. The fact that everyone around me had felt the same way seemed to indicate that magic or something else was affecting our minds and the minds of those around us too.
“I think I am,” I finally told him. “I definitely don’t want this, but something also seems to be helping me accept it somehow.”
He exhaled his breath in a sigh of relief. I hadn’t even realized that he had been holding his breath.
“I have a confession,” he said. He looked over at me for a moment before returning his eyes to the road. “I’ve wanted something like this to happen my entire life.”
Shock encompassed my entire body at his words! I had never known! He, she, had never done anything that made me think that! She had always been a tomboy, and I thought her interest in more masculine things had something to do with whatever caused that. I had absolutely no idea!
“I didn’t know the necklaces would do this to us,” he added quickly. “I didn’t purposely grab this necklace knowing I would get my wish at the cost of your masculinity. But, now that it is happening, I’m not really sorry.”
He glanced over at me again to gauge my reaction. I was dumbstruck! I knew he was serious and that he wasn’t sorry about our changes. He was clearly happy with what was happening to him while I was just getting by. But I also felt a sense of relief I hadn’t been expecting. Erin, though I had never told her, had been one of the most beautiful girls I had ever known. And I had known her for a long time. She had been my longest friend, maybe even my best friend. She had been living only two houses away from me since before we had started kindergarten. That day in that changing room with her had been one of the best days of my life, even though all we practically did was stare at each other. I didn’t want to tell her, but seeing her like that again had been one of my most frequent fantasies. That would never happen again now, but there were some new, foreign feelings when I thought about the chance of seeing the new her, him, naked in front of me again. My nipples were doing really strange things!
“I had no idea,” I finally said. “I know you like masculine things. I never knew why.”
“That is why I grabbed the green necklace,” he said. “It was so masculine. It was the type of necklace I would want. And you know how much I avoid pink. Pink feels like caving in to who I was born, not who I am.”
I nodded but I didn’t quite understand it. Even now, halfway to becoming a girl, I doubted I felt the same way. I had always been scared of anything feminine in my life. I didn’t want it to be there. I never wanted to be a girl. I knew that with all of my heart. But now, with the reactions that I was having to what was happening to me, I was starting to wonder why I was so afraid. Now that this was happening, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
“You’d better call me Ember,” I said, not sure how to continue responding to what he had told me.
He nodded, realizing this was hard for me to talk about. I wasn’t mad at him, and it seemed like he knew it, but we were going to have to wait to talk about this more. I wasn’t ready yet.
“You can still call me Aaron,” he said. “Though it is spelled differently.”
It was my turn to nod while remembering what I had seen on his driver’s license.
“Aaron,” I said. It was no different than the many times I had used her, his, name. But it felt different on my tongue. “Aaron.”
“Em,” he said very slowly. “‘Ber.”
“Quit mocking me,” I laughed and punched him in the shoulder. Erin, well, Aaron, had always had a great sense of humor and knew how to make me laugh. There had always been more than her looks that had caused me to like her the way I did.
“Oww!” he mock cried while shrugging his shoulder like it had hurt. But that was the weakest punch I had ever thrown in my life, and not because I had been trying to hold back!
We continued to drive on for a few moments, both of us laughing at each other when our eyes met, and giggling when we looked away.
“You look good in a dress,” he said once we had managed to stop laughing at each other. “Is that a bad thing to say?”
My voice caught in my throat. Nobody had ever said anything like that to me! I had never worn a dress before today. I wanted to feel hurt and mad at him for insinuating that I made a good girl. That is what I would have done before this. But I didn’t feel that way. I oddly felt a sense of pride at his words. If somebody else had said it, I might have been upset. But to hear it from Aaron truly made me feel happy.
“You make a pretty good looking slab of meat,” I replied. My desired outcome came to pass when he guffawed and the car swerved slightly before he caught himself and we continued forward.
I adjusted the tote bag that was sitting on my lap to allow me to move my legs a bit as we laughed together.
Aaron pointed at my lap questioningly.
“What’s in the bag, anyway?” he asked.
I opened my mouth to reply, only to realize that I didn’t know. I hadn’t even thought about the tote bag all morning and had just grabbed it by instinct.
“I don’t know,” I told him truthfully and then unzipped the bag.
What I found was actually unexpected. Inside the pink tote bag were a black leotard, pink tights, pink pointe shoes, a sheer small skirt, leg warmers, tape, toe separators, a large water bottle, a towel, and a few other things that I was going to need.
“Oh!” I said, remembering what I had never known before now. “I have dance after school!”
“Dance?” Aaron asked. “I didn’t know you did dance.”
“I didn’t before today,” I told him. “Yesterday a whole bunch of trophies and medals showed up in my room. I have been dancing since I was a kid, apparently. And I do ballet based on what is in here.”
“I guess that's why you walk so gracefully now,” he said.
He just stared at the tote bag for a moment before he had to look back at the road. I kept pondering what he had said. Was I graceful now? I didn’t feel any more graceful.
“I’m sorry,” he said, like this was horrible news.
“Why?” I asked, feeling a rush of excitement I had never felt about dancing before. “I guess you never had the opportunity to feel how wonderful it is to dance, did you?”
He turned and stared at me for a moment, not sure if I had been brainwashed somehow, based on the look he gave me.
“It’s probably like how baseball makes me feel now,” he finally said.
“Ew, baseball,” I said before I could think about what I was saying.
Aaron laughed again.
“Yep, that has to be the same thing then,” he told me. “My mom wanted me to take dance classes when I was younger. I think she always felt like I had let her down when I kept saying no.”
“But you’ve played baseball before,” I told him. I had played it with Erin. “I don’t even know how to dance. How am I supposed to go to what is clearly an advanced class, if I have pointe shoes?”
“What are pointe shoes?” he asked.
I pulled the shoes out of the bag to show him.
“I thought those were ballet flats,” he said.
“No,” I said, laughing at his naivety towards ballet and women’s shoes in general. It seemed like he should have known these things after spending 17 years as a female. “Ballet flats are a type of shoe that resemble the slippers that ballet dancers dance with. You don’t actually dance in them. Ballet slippers are what you use when you start dancing. Pointe shoes are what you use when you start dancing on your toes. But you can’t do that until you are older. I didn’t start until I was 14.”
“When you were 14, huh?” he asked, a bit incredulous.
“Yes,” I told him. “You have to wait until both the bones in the foot and the strength in your legs can support it.”
“You know a lot about this for somebody who has never danced before,” he said.
“Oh,” I said, laughing at the conversation. This information was now a part of me, but yesterday I would have known as little as he did. “Maybe I haven’t ever danced before, but my body has. I keep doing things I’ve never done before but I have clearly been doing for a while. Make sense?”
“Absolutely,” he said, looking over at me with a grin. “I’ve been doing the same thing all morning.”
We laughed together again. I was super glad that Aaron was my best friend. Even in our friend group, nobody else would be able to understand what was happening to me the way he did.
Aaron pulled the car into the school parking lot shortly after that, and he parked the car. As I opened the door to get out, my anxiety started to spike. I wasn’t sure I could do this. I wasn’t sure I could face the school as a girl.
“Want to leave the tote in the trunk?” Aaron asked as he exited the car.
I nodded. If nothing else, it kept me from having to enter the school for a few more moments. I walked to the back of the car, where he had the trunk opened by the time I got there. I placed the bag in the trunk, and then looked up at him.
“I’ll drive you to dance after school,” he told me while closing the trunk. “And I’ll stay and drive you home. You won’t have to do this alone. And I am here now. We share classes together the entire morning. I will be there for you.”
Relief expanded across my entire body. Being with Aaron, having him there, made this whole adventure seem manageable. I felt so relieved I found myself wrapping my arms around his broad chest and giving him a hug.
He stood there for a moment. It seemed like he was shocked by my actions, since he tensed up, but after a moment he relaxed and wrapped his arms around me too. A moment later, I let go of him. We had to get to class.
He held his arm out for me, and with a smile I wrapped my arm through his and we walked toward the school together.
“This is new,” he said as we approached. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’ve never told you this,” I said. “But I’ve always liked you. Like “liked” you.”
Aaron was silent for a moment.
“I know,” he said. “But…”
He trailed off, and it was obvious he didn’t know how to tell me something. But now, as we walked arm-in-arm, I finally understood.
“But you couldn’t be the girl,” I finished for him. He nodded, and I leaned my head against his shoulder for a moment as we walked. Finally having Aaron, even if he was completely different, I definitely felt that giving up my manhood was worth it, at least at the moment.
“Did we just become a couple?” he asked, confused.
“Beats me!” I responded truthfully. “I’ve never been in a relationship before. I don’t know how this works. I’m okay with it if you are.”
“I am,” he replied, and then leaned his head against mine for a moment before we both lifted them to walk into the school.
—
We received some very strange looks as we walked down the hallway toward our lockers. We were easily recognizable by our peers, but we also looked nothing like we had yesterday. It had to be strange to see somebody, or even worse, a couple, come down the hall toward you and then realize that they were members of the wrong sex! I had been in locker rooms with some of the guys who were now staring at me. Aaron had been in locker rooms with some of the girls who were now staring at him. Some of them were staring at us in disgust, and some of them were staring at us in lust. None of them said anything to us. I ignored them and held onto Aaron’s arm.
After getting our books out of our lockers we walked to our history class and entered the classroom. There were no assigned seats, so we sat down next to each other. We made small talk for a few moments.
“What happened to you two?!” came a very excited yet confused voice from behind us. Both of us smiled at the same time and turned toward her.
“Hi, Daisy,” I said, greeting her. Aaron just waved. Like everyone else we had encountered today, she was staring at us wide-eyed.
She quickly sat down in the seat behind me, ready for more information.
I shrugged. “You saw our licenses yesterday. We woke up this way.”
“Are you like…you know,” she said, blushing as she asked.
Her words were kind of vague, but paired with her reaction, I knew what she was asking. I was also cognizant that there were a number of other students listening in.
“Not completely,” I replied carefully. “But way more than not.”
“So…,” she started, trying to word something carefully. “What locker room are you going to use today for P.E.?”
“I don’t have P.E. anymore,” I told her, surprising myself with more knowledge I didn’t know that I had. “I get credit for my dance classes. Aaron will undoubtedly be in with the other boys.”
Aaron just grinned and made a face that caused her, and me, to laugh.
“Did you guys see that attack in the city?” she asked, veering the conversation away, at least until it was more private.
“Yeah, what was that?” Aaron asked. “I’ve never seen anything like that, especially around here.”
“Those things were pretty ugly,” I added. “What were they?”
“John thinks they are some kind of alien,” Daisy answered.
“Why would aliens rob a bank?” Aaron asked. “That doesn’t make any sense. They had to be thieves in costumes.”
“Whatever they were, I heard they got away from the cops who were chasing them as they got outside of the city,” Daisy told us. “Nobody can explain what happened. One minute they were driving down the road, the next they were flying through the air.”
Aaron and I looked at each other. Neither of us had heard or seen that part.
“Terry wants us to go into the city and see how we can help,” she continued.
“What are we going to do?!” Aaron shot back.
Daisy nodded her head in agreement.
“I think that sounds like a stupid plan, but John agrees with Terry,” she said. “I think they must have death wishes.”
“That doesn’t make any sense!” Aaron stated. “Why does he think we can do something about it?”
“Because of, you know,” she said, and then lowered her voice to a level only the two of us could hear. “What we found.”
She said it like it was an obvious reason, but I didn’t understand why. Aaron and I locked eyes for a moment, and it was clear he was as confused as I was. When we looked back at Daisy, she looked surprised.
“You haven’t…felt it?” she asked.
“Felt what?” I asked her.
She opened her mouth to say something more, but the bell rang at that moment, and the teacher called the class to order. Whatever it was, we wouldn’t find out until later.
—
At lunch, Aaron and I sat at a table with the rest of our friends group, like usual. Today, however, the discussion quickly turned toward taking a trip into the city to help battle these terrorists.
Aaron and I had no desire to battle terrorists. But the same was not true for Terry, John, and Daisy. Daisy still thought it was a bad idea, but at the same time she did feel like there was something we needed to do to help.
After a long discussion, we decided that this “feeling” that Terry, John, and Daisy had been having all morning was definitely from the necklaces, but since Aaron and I hadn’t felt the same thing yet, it probably wasn’t the right time to get involved. The consensus was that we were likely too busy changing to be ready for the next step of whatever the necklaces wanted us to do.
Even then, after the bell had rung and we were heading to our afternoon classes, I was afraid that the three of them were going to take a road trip this afternoon without us.
—
I sighed when I climbed into Aaron’s car after school. We only shared one class in the afternoon, and I had greatly missed spending time with him. Not only did he make the day go faster, I felt better and safer facing the new world that I was embarking on today with him around.
“Tough afternoon?” he asked, smiling too happily for my taste as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“Long,” I told him. “People wanted to talk to me when you weren’t around.”
“Oh?” he asked, slightly surprised.
“Well, I don’t know if they wanted to talk to me or if they just wanted me to spill the tea,” I told him. “I’d be just as curious about why two of my classmates were changing sex if it wasn’t me who was doing it.”
He laughed, but was grinning. I couldn’t help smiling too. I brushed my hair behind my ear and then punched him in the shoulder again.
“I can understand that,” he finally said. “I didn’t know I intimidated them that much that they didn’t want to talk to me about it.”
I squirmed in my seat, which didn’t go unnoticed by him.
“Something else you want to add?” he said with another smile. I was finding that his smile was hard to say no to.
“I don’t think they are necessarily scared of you,” I told him. “But it was mostly other girls who were asking, and I got the impression that you were too much of a guy for them to get the truth from.”
That left a very pensive expression on Aaron’s face. I knew that she had been friendly with pretty much everyone at school. She was too lovable not to be. Nobody cared if she wasn’t in their circle, they just liked her. But now, he looked like a jock, and that clearly turned some of those people off.
“They don’t like me anymore?” he finally asked, and I could hear the hurt in his voice.
“I think you are right, and they are intimidated by you,” I confirmed for him. “I don’t think they realize that you are still the same person. You just have a new shell, so to speak.”
Aaron still looked put out. He clearly didn’t like where this conversation was going.
“I hate to break it to you,” I told him. “But guys just aren’t as approachable as girls. Now that you’re a guy, there are certain benefits you were used to that you aren’t going to have anymore.”
He started pondering on that thought, but I could tell that it was still eating him inside.
“You wanted all of the benefits of being a man with none of the downsides?” I finally asked him. “I mean, it was awesome to be able to talk to some of those girls who never would have said a word to me yesterday! But in order to gain that ability, I’m going to have to have a period someday and for every month thereafter. That is a big downside to being able to increase the size of my social circle.”
I knew I was being overly dramatic, but it seemed to get my point across. He laughed at my joke, but he didn’t look any happier. I watched him reevaluate in his mind what it meant to be male as we silently drove the rest of the way to the dance studio. I pulled some supplies that vaguely looked like they were used for hair out of the bag, pulled down the visor so I could see myself in the mirror, and then proceeded to do all kinds of weird moves with my hands and my hair that I couldn’t describe. The end result was that I now had ballet hair. Technically, it was a tight bun that also used some hair clips to gather up any stray strands, but my hair looked like any ballet dancer I had ever seen after I was done.
Aaron pulled into the parking lot outside of the dance studio and found a spot, then he followed me inside. I directed him to the right observation window for my class. Then I walked into the “Hers” changing room and started getting ready.
Getting ready was a very odd experience. I had never gotten ready for a dance class in my life. But I knew exactly what I needed to do even though I didn’t know what that was. I started by changing into my tights, leotard, and the sheer skirt. Then I began taping the toes of my right foot for some reason, put a toe spacer between my big toe and my second toe, and a small amount of cotton or something similar between my pinky and the next toe that seemed to do the same thing, but kept those toes touching. Then I put some kind of wool in a funky padded sock-like thing that only fit over my toes which I then proceeded to pull on over all of them, I then stretched a part of my tights over the whole mess. Only when that was all done did I place my foot in the pointe shoe and start tying up the ribbon. Then I did the same thing with my left foot. I had no idea why I did all of that. But the other girls in the room were all doing something similar and wearing the same thing, which meant I was probably doing it right.
Once I was finished, I slowly walked into the studio and started my warm-up before class started. When the instructor came in, she stared right at me for a minute before coming over. She didn’t look very happy. This seemed like a very advanced ballet class, and I was sure that she didn’t get new students very often. I had probably been in this class for years, but in reality, this was my first time.
“Who are you?” she asked sternly.
“Ember Delaney, miss,” I replied.
“I think you are in the wrong class, Ember,” she told me.
“I’m not, Miss Leigh,” I said using her name, even though I hadn’t known it until now. “The universe is going crazy, and now I’m supposed to be here.”
That was probably a bad way to describe what was happening, but I didn’t know how else to describe it. At least at school I’d had the same classes, minus a study period instead of P.E. The teachers knew me, even if I was now different. This lady had never met me before.
It looked like she was going to argue, but then something in her changed. It was probably the same thing that was happening all around me that made people accept what was happening. Instead, she walked over to a small table next to the room’s controls and picked up some papers. There must have been a list of students in there, because she looked astonished for a moment before looking back up at me. She watched me continue my warmup for a short time before she walked back over.
“You appear to know what you are doing,” she said. “And apparently, at least on paper, you have been in this class for almost two years. I will let you stay for now, but if you cannot keep up with the others I will ask you to leave.”
“Yes, Miss Leigh,” I replied, and continued my warmup. The other girls in the studio and the ones coming in all stared at me in the same way. I didn’t recognize any of them, which meant it was unlikely they knew I had been a guy up until this morning. That was a pleasant thought after spending all day at a school where everyone knew I was changing into a girl.
“How have you been in this class for two years if I’ve never seen you before?” asked a blonde warming up next to me.
I looked over at her. “I’ve been asking myself that question all day,” I told her. “I woke up this morning, and almost everything about my life had changed. I can’t explain it, but clearly this is who I am now.”
“Have you even danced before?” she asked, worried.
“Not really, Jenny,” I told her. “But whatever is causing this has also given me the skills and memories I should have in this new life.”
She looked shocked when I called her by name. Then she furrowed her brow at something that confused her.
“I think,” she started, but paused for a moment. “I think I remember you.”
“You do?” I asked, astonished! Nobody else had remembered me that way! Then again, she was the first person I’d met and talked to for a while who hadn’t known me, other than my short interaction with Miss Leigh.
“I,” she began again, then looked confused before smiling. “I saw your boyfriend out there again. He seems to come quite often now.”
I reeled for a moment at her change in topic. Her whole demeanor had shifted, and her tone had gone from confused and slightly accusing to happy and friendly. That was very weird!
“He drove me today,” I replied, and then I smiled at the thought of Aaron watching. The window into the room was mirrored, and I couldn’t see him, but I knew he was there. I looked around the room, and nobody was staring at me anymore! It was almost as if they all remembered me now. I didn’t know if that was a relief or scary.
When Miss Leigh started the class and we all lined up at the barre to start our barre work, I was more amazed than ever at whatever was changing me. I was able to follow Miss Leigh’s instructions, and I clearly knew what I was doing. I was just as good as the other girls in the class and perhaps even better, based on Miss Leigh’s constant recognition of my skills throughout the class. She didn’t praise any of the other students nearly as much.
That praise continued into our center work and beyond. Miss Leigh kept praising me almost any chance she got. There were a few times she asked me to demonstrate combinations for the other girls in the class, yet she never asked anyone else to do the same. I got the feeling that I was one of the most advanced dancers in her class. They all seemed to think the same thing, even though at the beginning of the class none of them even knew who I was!
As we were all leaving the studio and heading back to the changing room, I realized two things. First, it was now clear to me how this body maintained such a toned physique. That had been hard work and I was now as sweaty as if I had just run a marathon! Second, if I needed any other indication that what was happening to me was giving me new skills and abilities, then the ballet class was a perfect example. I knew ballet was technical, but it wasn’t until I was doing it myself that I realized how complex it really was. Between all of the barre and center work we did, some of the combinations and traveling sequences Miss Leigh had us doing and some of the jumps we had been practicing, I had moved my body in ways I never even knew the human body could move!
Entering the changing room, I felt very fortunate to be dancing at a studio that had a full set of showers available to us. I had no desire to walk out to see Aaron in my current state. I smelled, I was sweaty, and I was sure that seeing me like this would turn him off.
I walked over to the locker where I had put my things, but as I approached, a massive headache overcame me, and I stumbled and fell to the ground. I screamed in agony for a moment before the pain went away, and I noticed the other girls standing over me in worry.
“Are you okay?” Jenny asked, worried.
“I think so,” I replied, as she helped me back up. “I just got this splitting headache all of a sudden, and now it’s gone.”
Jenny stared at me, a worried look still on her face. She started to say something, but was interrupted by one of the other girls.
“I have a sister who gets a huge massive headache every time she starts her period,” she said as if it would explain everything.
Was that a thing? I’d never heard any woman I knew say anything about a momentary headache like that during that time of the month. But I had heard them complain about all kinds of things around their periods and PMS. Maybe it was a thing. Regardless if it was true or not, I didn’t even have a vagina and probably didn’t have any internal organs, so that wasn’t likely the cause. I nodded, however, and that seemed to ease the girls' worries for a moment.
I sat down on the bench in front of my locker. I was doing well enough that the other dancers started removing their dancewear and began getting ready to leave the studio for the day. I felt no aftereffects from whatever had just happened, but that pain had been excruciating! I have no idea what it was!
I decided I better get cleaned up and quickly undressed. Then I pulled out my towel and some body wash and went and took a short shower in one of the private cubicles the studio offered. I didn’t wash my hair, but the rest of me was clean by the time I got out and dressed in my regular clothes. I left my hair in the bun, and then left the changing room, saying goodbye to the few dancers still changing.
Aaron looked worried when I found him in the waiting lounge near the entrance to the studio. Had I taken too long? He motioned for me to follow him, and we headed out to his car without a word.
“The others went into the city,” he said, starting the car, but not putting it into gear to move. “They apparently found some of those creatures, and Terry decided to fight one of them alone, since the others decided they didn’t want to fight them. He was injured pretty badly, but seems to be healing fast.”
“I felt something…” I said.
“I did too,” he replied. “It was like a massive headache, right?”
I nodded. I felt better knowing that there probably wasn’t anything wrong with me, if he had felt the same thing.
“I think that was when Terry got injured, or something. Daisy and John felt it too at the same time, and they said that was when Terry was fighting it.”
“Is he okay?” I asked, worried.
“Yes,” Aaron responded. “Daisy said that he was almost fully healed. Somehow.”
I was shocked at his words, but I didn’t know what to say.
“Anyway, they are on their way home,” he said. “They want us to meet them at John’s house.”
I nodded, and he put the car in reverse and started to drive to John’s.
“Not to be crass,” he said. “But I thought I had learned what having a boner was like during the day today, but watching you dance in there, it was as hard as a rock!”
I felt disgusted and embarrassed because of his comment!
“Aaron!” I complained while glaring at him.
“What?” he said. “It’s true! Do you have any idea how sexy you are now? Do you have any idea of how graceful and amazing you are when you dance? I couldn’t take my eyes off of you! You were spectacular!”
While still disgusted and embarrassed, I also felt proud at hearing him describe the way I was dancing. I enjoyed the experience. Dance was now a part of me. I couldn’t imagine not having dance in my life anymore. And the adrenaline rush it brought was off the charts! I had no idea dancing could make somebody feel that way, and I couldn’t wait for more!
But having Aaron take all of what I had felt and describe it - in terms of what his new penis was doing - felt dirty. It felt like he was demeaning me and my dancing. I knew that was not his intention, but being a ballet dancer was hard work, and I wasn’t doing it to give him his jollies.
Thankfully, he seemed to understand he might have crossed a line. It was strange to realize that he had. I’d certainly been in locker rooms as a guy where talk was more explicit than that, but something was different this time. Perhaps it was because I was becoming a girl, or maybe it had to do with him denigrating one of my most-prized life experiences. But I did not like it.
“I’m sorry,” he said a few minutes later. “I guess that’s an inappropriate way to talk to a lady.”
We sat in silence for a few moments, and I tried to figure out why I now felt the way I did.
“We talked about that kind of stuff this morning,” I told him. “But this seemed different. It felt like you were debasing all of the hard work I’ve put into ballet my whole life. It felt like all that mattered to you was that it made me a sexual object.”
We were silent until he pulled up in front of John’s house. John’s car was in the driveway, but they had likely taken Terry’s van and it hadn’t arrived yet.
“I’m sorry,” Aaron said again. “That isn’t what I meant. It is odd how defensive you are about ballet dancing now. It really does seem like you have been doing it your whole life. I know and you know that isn’t true, but I honestly don’t think that matters. We are who we are now, and you are a beautiful young woman who has been dancing since she was a little girl, and you are an amazing, exceptional, and spectacular ballet dancer. I’m no expert, but I believe you would have the ability to do this for a living if you so choose, based on the comments from some of the others who were watching your class.
“Being a guy is new to me,” he continued. “This was a feeling I’ve never had before, and it had been great to share it with you this morning. We know what each other is going through. I guess you haven’t had the chance to experience the female way yet, but I’m sure you will tomorrow. I can’t really talk to anyone else about this and thought it would be funny with you, but I understand why it hurt you instead. I am so sorry.”
He was staring at me, and I could feel his love for me that was similar to what I had felt for Erin for many years. I hadn’t even been aware I had been that attracted to her until I stared at him right now.
“It’s okay,” I told him. “Maybe the way I think about that stuff is changing, or has changed throughout the day. But I think it was in the context of the dancing that really hurt. I’m glad you have the opportunity to experience what you have probably only been able to daydream about your whole life. I just…”
“When I was a girl, I always got mad when men put women, or the things women liked, down, like they weren’t as important,” he said when I had trailed off. “Men always seemed to feel more superior than us, than women, at the time. I guess I must have done the same thing to you. The look on your face - it reminded me of that feeling. A feeling I haven’t felt since we put on the necklaces. I can’t tell you how much it hurt me to see you feel that same way just now. That is one of the worst things about being a woman, and I just caused it to happen to you. I can’t believe I did that so easily.”
“I don’t think you did it on purpose,” I told him.
“That’s just it! There are probably some men who get off on demeaning women,” he replied, animatedly. “But I think most men don’t even realize what they are doing! I certainly didn’t realize I was doing it, but I did it just the same!”
We sat in silence for a few more moments. Soon Terry’s van pulled into the driveway with John driving. They got out, waved to us, and headed for the basement door.
“I understand,” I told him. “It’s not an excuse, but a man’s desires drive him to do all sorts of things that he shouldn’t do. I know that. I’ve lived that. But it–”
“Has to be better,” he interrupted me. “As a former woman who has experienced being put down by men more times than I can count, I am sorry. I should be better than that. All men should be better than that.”
I smiled at him. I had no idea what to say. This was new territory. I hoped I had never made a lady feel the way I had felt at his comments. But it seemed likely I had, even if inadvertently.
I reached over, grabbed his hand and squeezed it lovingly. Yes, he had made me feel bad in a way I had never felt before. It was something I never wanted to feel again. But I knew Aaron hadn’t meant to hurt me. I still loved Aaron anyway. And I knew what I was feeling was definitely love. I had never really been in a relationship before, but today had been something else. I could not imagine my life without Aaron in it. I’d heard my parents saying that kind of thing about each other on more than one occasion, and now I was feeling the same thing. The thought of marrying Aaron and pushing out his babies still made me want to puke, and I wasn’t completely ready to cave into this new life of womanhood that had been forced on me. But it was clear to me now that those things could be in my future. Even though they still made me sick, they also brought a warmth to me that I couldn’t ignore. I had been in love with Erin without even realizing that I was. The only way I was going to have the chance to be with this person was as Aaron’s significant other, and that meant becoming the woman whom I was becoming. I had no real desire to be a woman. But today was starting to show me that it wouldn’t be as bad as I thought it would be. There were definitely things I was not looking forward to and surely would love to do without. Periods and pregnancy and even motherhood were top of the list! I wanted children, but I had always assumed I would be the father, and that seemed less involved somehow. I didn’t think my dad was uninvolved, and he certainly was a very active participant in raising us. But like this morning’s hug from my mom, there was something more between a mother and her child.
Overall, however, I was starting to feel that even though I didn’t ask for this, I could do this. I could be just as happy as this young woman I was becoming as I was as a young man. That felt like a better description of what was happening. I didn’t want to be a girl, but I knew I could do it. I knew being one wasn’t going to kill me or that I would have a desire to kill myself. Erin’s description of her life before the change did not match what I was feeling, and that made me sad. I was learning, however, that I could be happy as the woman in the relationship, and make him happy at the same time. I was more than capable of being either the man I had been born, or this young woman I was becoming. It was liberating to realize that.
After a moment of staring into each other’s eyes, in which I was quite certain he had realized the same thing I had, we let go of each other, exited the car, and followed the others.
—
“I told him not to do it,” Daisy said once we were all seated around his basement. “I could feel that desire, that drive to attack them. Whatever these necklaces are, I think they were made to defend against those things. But I also had a strong realization that we were missing something.
“One, we were missing both of you,” she continued, gesturing to Aaron and me. “But it was more than that. There is some kind of power that we need to be able to face them. I know that somehow. I just don’t know what it is. And we all need to be there.”
“I feel the same thing,” John said, nodding. “Whatever is missing, we need to find it before we engage them again.”
“You’re thinking of doing it again?!” I asked incredulously.
“We have to,” Terry said. “You haven’t felt it yet. But we have to.”
“He’s right,” Daisy said. “I don’t want to fight those things. I don’t want to fight at all. But we have to. Whatever these necklaces are, they chose us to help protect the city. I know that with all of my being.”
“Daisy’s right,” John added his own support. “I can’t explain it, and I assume if you guys are done changing tomorrow you will start to feel it too, but this is something we have to do now. We just need to find whatever we are missing.”
“I don’t think it is missing,” Daisy told him. “I think we need to unlock it.”
“Unlock it?” Terry questioned. “What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know,” Daisy replied. “But that is what it feels like to me.”
There was silence for a moment as everyone tried to digest her explanation. I didn’t choose to join some kind of attack force like they were describing. I had no desire to get into any kind of a fight. Yet I had never asked to become a woman either, and that was certainly happening. I looked over at Aaron, and his expression seemed to mirror my own, but there was also some kind of excitement on his face. I didn’t like the look of that. Testosterone kills. I’d heard some older people, especially women, say something like that, and Aaron was likely now, or would very soon be, flooded by a lot of it.
“I think she is right,” John eventually spoke up, breaking the silence. “When I think about that piece that is missing, it does feel like it is locked. I think we need all five of us to unlock it.”
“How?” Terry asked, annoyed. He obviously was determined to get back into the fight that he had lost. Apparently he had broken his arm, but now it seemed to be as healed as if he had never even entered the fight! Yet he was ready to drive back up there and do it all again.
“I think we need to wait until tomorrow,” John told him before pointing at Aaron and me. “The “missing” portion of what we have been feeling, I think, is the two of them. They need to be complete before we can move on to whatever is next.”
Terry grunted, not happy with that explanation. But then he winced and grabbed his arm. Maybe it wasn’t completely healed yet.
“I suggest we call it a night and go our separate ways,” John continued. “Being together right now, I can feel what Terry is feeling. I want to unlock whatever is missing and go back up to the capital. That feeling is stronger now than it was in the van on the way home. But we can’t do that right now. I think we need to get away from each other until tomorrow.”
“What if we aren’t finished tomorrow?” I asked. Aaron had a penis now, and looked almost complete. But I showed no signs of the complex reproductive system that women had. Was I going to get all of that in one night? Was it still going to take us a few days to “finish” this change?
“I’m sorry, Em,” Daisy said. “I know you don’t want to be a girl. But I am pretty sure you will be one when you wake up.”
“I think I will be too,” I told her. “But what if we are wrong? Are you guys going to go off on your own and try to get yourselves killed again?”
Terry sneered at me. Clearly, he had taken exception to what I had said. To my surprise, Aaron glared at Terry and leaned forward, which put himself between Terry and me. That seemed to surprise Terry, too. He stared at Aaron for a moment before shock crossed his face and he sat back.
“You two are a thing now?” he asked incredulously. “Never would have guessed that. Looks like little Ellison really is a fairy.”
“What the heck is wrong with you?!” I retorted. “You are acting like an idiot! Where is the Terry I knew?! And my name is Ember! Yes, Aaron and I are a thing now! I can’t explain it, but we are! You are going to have to live with that!”
Terry sneered back at me for a moment, and then collapsed backward in sadness. It was Daisy who saw the problem first.
“Ohhh!!,” she said in understanding. Then she looked over at me. “Terry likes you!”
“What?!” I exclaimed.
“He has always liked redheads,” John contributed, unhelpfully.
Terry’s face had turned red. At first I thought it was anger at what Daisy and John were saying. But it wasn’t and my mouth dropped open at the realization that Daisy was right! Terry was attracted to me!
“Um,” I started, not quite sure how to say what was rolling around inside my head. “I’m sorry, Terry. I really am. But…”
“I get it,” he said. “I can’t help who I find attractive, and I certainly wasn’t going to do anything about it. You aren’t even done changing yet, and I wouldn’t want to start making out with some guy if it happened to me.”
“Which is why you were so surprised by her and Aaron,” Daisy piped in.
Terry nodded. I had always liked Terry, but never in that way. Not before, and not now.
“It took most of the day,” I explained. “But I finally realized that I have been in love with Erin for a while now. But I never wanted to hurt our relationship, and she never seemed interested. Today, that kind of changed. I never expected to fall in love with a guy and in fact, that still makes me very squeamish. But it’s Aaron. He’s the same person whom I have been in love with for years. I never truly realized I was in love with. And now…”
I trailed off, realizing I almost said something that wasn’t mine to say.
“I couldn’t be the female in the relationship,” Aaron said. “I think I was in love with Ellison too. But I always kept him at a distance in that regard. Because, well because…”
She trailed off. I knew it would be very difficult to tell our friends what she had told me earlier. If we weren’t going through what we are going through, then I doubted she would have ever told me.
“I always wanted to be a guy,” Aaron finally blurted out. “My whole life, I felt wrong. It took me a long time to realize why, but when I did, I knew I couldn’t be in that type of relationship with Ellison, so I made him think I wasn’t interested. Now though…”
He trailed off again, and looked over at me. It was my turn now.
“I never wanted to be a girl,” I told them, and almost all of them nodded in agreement. “I think I made that clear.”
There was laughter all around. I certainly avoided anything that led people to treat me female in any way, even if unintended, like shortening my name.
“But today, I also learned that while I don’t want to be a girl, I’m okay with it,” I told them. “That sounds weird. I just mean that becoming a girl isn’t like the end of my life or anything. And if it means that my love for Aaron can be reciprocated, then why would I fight this?”
Everyone was shocked and I understood why. I had been fighting and resisting any reference, even minor, about me showing any kind of femininity. Coming out and saying I was okay with it must have been a surprise. Granted, they all still seemed to be in shock about Aaron’s revelation too.
“Who are you two?” Daisy finally asked, causing us all to devolve into laughter.
When we finally calmed down, I knew I had to mention the other half of what was going on.
“These changes,” I told them. “They aren’t just physical. Everyone accepts them, for one, even if they knew us before. Those who didn’t know us, seem to know us now too, if we are supposed to know them in this new existence. I just came from ballet class. When I walked in, the teacher and the other dancers had no idea who I was. Yet in almost no time they were treating me like I had been in the class for two years. By the end of class, they didn’t remember that they didn’t know who I was. We aren’t just changing physically, the whole universe is changing to accept us the way we are now.”
“She’s telling the truth,” Aaron added. “I was in the observation area for her class. At first, the people who were in there kept talking about the new girl and wondering who she was. Not long after, they kept talking about how nice it was to have such an acclaimed dancer at the studio to help their own family members or friends become better dancers. They all knew her even though it was her first day ever dancing. And I might add, she is amazing!”
I promptly blushed.
“I didn’t know you could dance,” Daisy said. “I always wanted to take dance classes, but my mom wanted me to learn piano.”
“I didn’t dance before today,” I told her. “But it certainly feels like I have been dancing since I was a little girl.”
They all just stared at me, trying to absorb this new information. Clearly none of them had taken on new abilities quite like I had.
“I think I understand what you are talking about. When I was fighting that clay dude, it was a lot like that,” Terry eventually said. “I went in ready to punch that big noggin of his, and instead I started doing some kind of karate or other martial arts that I have never done before. And Aaron, I’m sorry we never realized you weren’t who we thought you were. You should have told us. We are here for you. You are our brother now. Ember, I’m not going to lie, you are hot already, and I can’t wait to see how you turn out tomorrow. But if you’re Aaron’s, then that is fine too.”
“I am not Aaron’s,” I told him, my eyes narrowing. “I don’t belong to him.”
Terry looked abashed at my words.
“That isn’t what I meant,” he said. “I meant that you are my friend, and Aaron is my friend, and if you two are going to start dating, I am okay with that.”
He had definitely used the wrong words, but I think his heart was in the right place. I just nodded at him. I didn’t want to start a fight between us.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me, Aaron?” Daisy asked. “I thought we were best friends?”
“That just made it harder,” he replied. “I knew you didn't feel that way. It would be hard for you to understand.”
“Well, yeah!” she said back. “I don’t need to understand it to be there for you! I don’t want to be a guy, but you were still my friend!”
Aaron nodded at her, and smiled. It was easy to say now, but at the time it must have been really hard for him to navigate a world he didn’t feel he fit in. Even I, after becoming a girl myself when I didn’t want to be one, didn’t feel the same way that he did. I was ok with what was happening to me. He had been trapped in the wrong body.
I looked over at John, wondering how he felt about these revelations. He looked uncomfortable, but he didn’t look like he was mad or upset or anything. He stayed quiet, though.
“It would make sense that we get new fighting abilities if we are meant to fight those things,” Aaron said, steering the discussion away from the awkward conversation we had delved into. “Are you sure that is what the necklaces are for?”
“Pretty sure,” Terry replied. “For the record, I thought it was pretty stupid to take on that claybake alone, but felt like I had to. I had to.”
“I was really, really close to joining him,” John added. “If Daisy hadn’t pulled me back, I would have broken my own arm, probably.”
“Do you know what those things are?” I asked. I’d only seen them once on the TV.
“Not really,” Terry said. “But while they look like clay, they hit like cement.”
“I’m going to stop you guys right there,” John said. “Just starting to talk about them makes me want to go find them. We can’t do that until tomorrow. We need to stay apart until then.”
“What is going to happen tomorrow, then?” I asked. I still had no desire to drive 20 minutes into the city just to fight clay monsters.
“I don’t know,” he said. “We can meet here after school and see what happens. Maybe we unlock whatever is missing, or we stay away from each other another day. But we should all head home right now.”
Although everyone agreed, I didn’t really want to go home. It was still early in the evening, but going home meant I was closer to going to bed. And that meant I would probably wake up female. As nice as it was to have Aaron as a boyfriend, the thought of waking up with a vagina was still a scary one!
Nevertheless, we dispersed. John didn’t live far from Aaron or me, but Aaron still gave me a ride home. The others went their separate ways.
Once we were in front of my house, Aaron turned off the car and looked over at me. He smiled, and I became worried for a moment. I might have agreed to be in a relationship with him, but I wasn’t quite ready to start making out with him yet. Fortunately that wasn’t what he was thinking .
“Tonight is the night!” he said excitedly. “I can feel it!”
“I can too,” I agreed, though with considerably less enthusiasm. I could feel it, too. Somehow I knew that I was going to wake up tomorrow morning as Ember Delaney for the first time. Fully Ember Delaney. I had gone through a lot up until this point, and the end of these changes were approaching fast. I thought that I would be more scared than I felt at the moment. I didn’t want to be female but I wasn’t as afraid. I was happy with how my life was going, yet, I was okay with where it had veered off too.
Aaron reached over and took my hand. I didn’t think he was quite ready to kiss me, but he held my hand in a way that meant much the same. That might be hard to understand, but that is what it felt like.
“My dad got back home tonight,” he said. “I won’t have a car in the morning. See you at the bus stop?’
I nodded. Part of me didn’t want to leave, but I knew it was time. Like the last two days, I seemed to be getting tired well before bedtime. I didn’t want to go in and fall asleep immediately, but it probably wouldn’t be much longer.
Without another word, but with much understanding between us, I got out of the car, grabbed my tote bag and backpack, and walked up to my front door. Once there, I turned around to wave at him, and he started forward. I watched his car until he pulled into his own driveway, and then turned and went inside.
The rest of the night was fairly uneventful. Mom and Amy wanted to talk, and they followed me up to my bedroom and then into the bathroom where I proceeded to wash all of my dancewear and hang it up on the drying rack. The drying rack hadn’t been there this morning. But I had to take off another identical set of dancewear from the drying rack to make room for the new ones, and I placed the dry ones into the tote for Saturday morning. I was beginning to realize that dance took a lot of time, since I had class every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings, and a longer one on Saturday mornings. But I could only smile as I relayed to my mom and sister what had happened that day. They were now interested in meeting the new Aaron, since I had let it slip we were “kind of” seeing each other now.
After that was done I followed my mom down to the kitchen where she made me a grilled cheese sandwich, since I hadn’t had any dinner yet. I could have done it myself, but it was nice of her to make one. They grilled me about more than I wanted to talk about, and I tried to keep it somewhat vague.
By the time I finished eating, I was starting to become very sleepy, and excused myself for bed. After brushing my teeth, removing my makeup, and doing some other self-maintenance I didn’t normally do but must be normal now, I put on a nightgown I found in my closet and slipped under the covers.
I was asleep quickly afterward.
—
Chapter 5
I felt nervous when my eyes opened. I was lying on one side, and without moving, nothing felt any different. But I rolled onto my back, and I knew immediately without looking that things had changed. Yesterday it had been a weird experience to feel and see breasts on my chest. This morning, they made sure I knew they were there. I didn’t need to look to know they were much bigger than yesterday. I hoped they weren’t too big!
With a sigh, I rolled the covers off of me and looked down. My nightgown was loose enough to hide a lot of detail, but they clearly stuck out further than they had the night before. I sat up on the side of my bed, and they swung. They didn’t swing yesterday, they gently shook. Today, they had some weight to go with their movement.
I did not want to take my nightgown off for fear of what I would see. But my curiosity outweighed my fear. I pulled my nightgown over my head. What felt like great huge mounds of breast flesh as I moved looked more like well-proportioned boobs when I could see my chest. They weren’t as huge as I feared. In fact, they actually looked a lot smaller than I thought they would be based on their movement. However, there was definitely more heft to them. Yesterday, I didn’t know the difference between a growing breast and a mature breast, but this morning it was quite obvious.
I stood up, but never had it felt the way it did between my legs. What I felt was subtle, but there was movement that I had never felt before. I couldn’t really describe it, but two days ago I had a penis that took up all feeling in the area. Yesterday, there wasn’t really anything down there and all I could feel was fabric rubbing across skin. Today, it felt like things moved and slid against each other as I stood up. It wasn’t much of a sensation, but it was completely different from every day of my life up until now. I had no doubt that I would find a vagina under the panties I was wearing, and my new lips were probably moving around as they parted or something. I moved my legs up and down experimentally, but the feeling was so subtle that I hardly felt it. Then I realized that what had been a completely new feeling a moment ago now already seemed normal. As I continued my walk toward the bathroom, the sensation all but disappeared until I couldn’t tell there was a difference down there from yesterday.
I stepped into the bathroom, immediately took off my panties and threw them in the hamper, and then I stood in front of the mirror to take a look. The beginning of a grand canyon started between my legs and disappeared from view around the curve of my body as it wrapped around my crotch.
That was definitely a vagina. I had seen plenty of them on the Internet, and Erin had shown me hers that day in the changing room. Health class even had textbooks with accurate illustrations depicting what I was seeing now. I knew what was down there, even if I couldn’t see it.
My vagina was nestled between my red pubic hair, right where the skin had been bare yesterday. Standing the way I was, it was a line that ran from the front of my crotch and down until it went out of sight. I pushed my pelvis forward to bring more of it into view, but I still couldn’t see all of it. Experimentally I pulled the lips apart and opened up a world that included an inner set of lips that seemed to surround more things. But I couldn’t stand that way for long and ended up letting go of everything while standing back up straight. I was going to need a hand mirror or something to see things better.
With a sigh of resignation, I looked at the rest of my body. There was no doubt that I was done changing now. I was definitely shorter. I had noticed a slight perspective change, but it wasn’t really a noticeable thing until I was standing next to something that was now higher than I remembered it, like the mirror or the shower curtain. My hips were slightly wider than they had been yesterday and my waist was slightly narrower, but overall, not much else had changed. I just looked more mature, somehow. That feeling I’d had yesterday - that I was not done - was no longer there when I looked at my body now.
My boobs were my second biggest change. Yesterday they were very small and my bra had said that they were an A cup. But as I looked at them now, I knew that wasn’t right anymore. The tiny things that had been on my chest had been very conical yesterday. Today, they had a more teardrop shape, mostly caused by the extra tissue and weight that appeared to be a part of them now. My breasts didn’t seem much larger than yesterday considering their circumference and where they sat on my chest, but the extra mass that they now encompassed really made the difference. These were clearly boobs, while what I’d had yesterday I now recognized had to have been an earlier stage of development. I didn’t know how to describe it better than that. My nipples were also larger and more erect, and the areolae around them seemed to have grown in size and darkened slightly, too.
My hair hadn’t changed at all. It was much messier than yesterday, because I didn’t take it out of the bun until right before bed. But it was the same color and the same length, and once I finished brushing it, it would be the same as it had been yesterday.
My face was only slightly changed. Like the rest of my body, the best way to describe it was that it now seemed more mature, more developed. Everything had a slight tweak to it that just pushed it to look slightly more female than it had yesterday, but overall it didn’t really look substantially different. It was probably like comparing the photo of a pre-teen girl’s face with what she looked like when she was a few years older.
I looked more mature. Other than the addition of a vagina, that was about the best way I could describe the differences.
My cursory inspection of my body completed, I walked over to the toilet and sat down. I adjusted myself to be able to watch the best I could. When I let go, I was ready for the fire hose I’d become familiar with yesterday, but I was not prepared for the obstructions that were now in its way. Almost immediately I felt my urine hitting things that were now between my urethra and the outside world. For a moment I could feel the pee going every which way and landing all over the place down there, but once the stream was consistent, the laser I’d had yesterday took over as it fell into the bowl. It stayed that way until the stream started winding down again, and as the pressure slowed, my urine went all over the place again since it no longer had the strength to push everything apart. While it pretty much felt the same to pee as it had yesterday, it certainly was different at the beginning and end of the process. I had absolutely no question that I needed to wipe now. I could both feel and see urine dripping from all over the place.
I retrieved some toilet paper from the roll next to the toilet, and proceeded to wipe front to back like I had yesterday, but it felt way different as the toilet paper slid between these new folds I had. Once at the back I dropped the toilet paper into the toilet and experimentally stood up. I half-expected to feel urine running down my thighs, but fortunately that did not happen.
I closed the toilet seat lid, flushed, and then stepped over to the bathtub and pulled the shower curtain closed. Then I started to shower.
Washing this body was different than it was yesterday, but not by much. Yesterday I had bumps on my chest that I had to run my hands over. Today, I had mountains, comparatively, and had to not only go over them but around them to get everywhere. Down below was also a different experience. I might not have been able to see everything in the mirror, but my hands could get in there with no problem. I tried to at least explore by feel to understand what was now attached to my body. I started at the top, but had to quickly move lower at the jolt touching the hood of my new clitoris had caused and that I was nowhere near ready to experience yet. Below that I found my urethra right where it had been yesterday, but now encased inside my labia. I continued further back until I found the start of my new passage, but I had no desire to go further than a cursory touch. Even those light touches felt alien to my previous male experiences, since everything I touched was inside of the new lips I had down there. I had no doubt that in the future I would want to know how it felt more, but for now, it scared me too much to do anything else.
I finished washing up, turned off the shower, dried myself off, and wrapped the towel around me. Then I exited the shower and continued getting ready for the day. The experience was very similar to yesterday as I brushed my teeth, styled my hair, and applied my makeup. It was only different when I pulled a package out of one of the drawers and took a small pill before I realized I was now on birth control! The implications of that were scary as I returned the package to the drawer, right next to the box of tampons that had scared me to death two days ago.
I unwrapped the towel and dropped it in the hamper, and then proceeded into my room naked.
The movement of my body was different from yesterday as I made my way over to my closet. Mostly, the sway of my boobs was much, much greater. As I mentioned earlier, they only jiggled yesterday, but they definitely moved around as I walked today. It was definitely a different experience.
Neither my room nor the inside of my closet hadn’t changed at all. Everything I remembered seeing yesterday was still there. The only difference I noticed was that my bra now had a B on the tag where it had just been an A yesterday. I half-expected a C or D based on how heavy they felt compared to yesterday, but that didn’t appear to be the case.
I gathered up all of the clothes I needed from my closet, placed them on my bed and began getting dressed. When I was done, I looked into the small mirror above my desk to see the beautiful young woman I’d become: resplendent in a white sundress with a pink sash around my tiny new waist. I’d opted for a pair of pink ballet flats and some appropriate jewelry to complement the outfit.
Once I was ready, I grabbed my backpack from my desk and went downstairs to get some breakfast.
Mom was alone in the kitchen. Dad was not around, and Brad was gone too. Amy, like usual, was still getting ready. I rarely saw her in the mornings as I usually left for school before she came down for breakfast.
Mom smiled at me when I came in from where she was making more French toast.
“Hi, honey,” she said before coming over and giving me a hug. “How are you doing?”
“I’m officially your daughter now,” I told her when she let go and stepped back to look at me.
She looked concerned for a moment, until she realized I seemed to be okay with the news.
“Where is Dad?” I asked. He usually didn’t go to the office until after Amy had left for school.
“He took Brad into the city,” she told me. “He outgrew his pads for lacrosse, and he needs new ones for practice today.”
“Oh,” I said. That worried me though. There had been more news reports about the clay things attacking the city. ”What about those creatures?”
“They’ll be fine,” she said, turning back to the grill and flipping the bread in the pan. “There have only been a few attacks, and why would they attack a sports store?”
Mentioning the clay monsters had an odd effect on me, however. As I sat down at the table to eat my breakfast. I started to feel an urge to go into the city myself. It felt almost identical to the urge we'd all had after the vision Tuesday night that led us to the cave. It seemed likely that this was the feeling that Terry, John, and Daisy had been talking about yesterday. I had to concentrate on eating my food to force the urge to go away.
“It looks like you are a bit bigger up top,” my mom said, as she placed two new slices of French toast on the tray in the middle of the table. I nearly choked on the bite of food in my mouth! Talking to my mom about boobs wasn’t something I thought I’d ever discuss with her! Finally, after getting the food down and then taking a drink, I was able to respond.
“I’m a B cup now,” I told her. “Whatever I had yesterday wasn’t real.”
“It was definitely real,” she said. “They were just growing. At this rate you might end up rather big.”
“I am done changing,” I told her. “It’s hard to explain, but I know I am done.”
She nodded, but she didn’t seem convinced as she sat down and watched me eat. I certainly wasn’t ready to tell her about any of the other changes the necklace seemed to be causing, so I let her believe what she wanted.
We engaged in more small talk after that. She wanted more details on how I was doing with the changes. I tried to answer her questions as best I could. Eventually, though, I had to go to the bus stop before the bus arrived.
I kissed Mom goodbye, grabbed my backpack near the front door, and walked down the street to the bus stop. As I got closer, my smile grew wider when I recognized Aaron waiting for me. He looked even better than yesterday. He didn’t look much different, just like I didn’t, but he did look more mature, like I did. That maturity suited him well, too.
“Fancy meeting you here,” he said as I approached.
I laughed at the cheesy joke, but it was nice to see him again. His voice was just a tad deeper, and it was mesmerizing! He motioned to the side, and we stepped away from the throng of students to where we could talk more privately.
“All done then?” I asked him.
“Most definitely,” he said. It looked like he wanted to say something else, but he appeared to be worried about saying it in front of me.
“It’s okay,” I told him. I knew he didn’t want to discuss the changes after the conversation we’d had last night, but the downside of that conversation had been the inclusion of ballet, not changing body parts.
He grinned, and I rolled my eyes at him for a second realizing how much he was going to start boasting. I didn’t know how I knew he was going to, but it was very obvious to me.
“It’s so big, Ember!” he said. “I don’t know how guys walk around with these things between their legs!”
“Well you better find out fast,” I joked. “The others might look at you funny otherwise!”
He started chuckling, and I smiled in return.
“I also understand why guys hate being kicked in the balls, too,” he said. “I was, um, feeling around down there in the shower, and I squeezed my new balls way too hard. It dropped me to the shower floor!”
I outright laughed at that! Of the many things I gave up in my journey into womanhood, testicular pain was not something that I was going to miss.
“What about you?” he asked. “All done too?”
“Yes,” I told him. “I can be your girl now.”
He smiled broadly, then he reached out and hugged me. Being enveloped in his warmth made me feel very comfortable, and it took me a second to realize that I had peed my pants!
I pulled away from him, worried as I looked down to see if it was visible on my dress. I couldn’t see anything however. Aaron just grinned when he realized what I was doing.
“First time?” he asked.
“First time for what?” I asked back.
“You didn’t do anything in the shower?” he asked incredulously.
“No,” I replied, uncomfortable with where this was going. “I wasn’t ready.”
His question, however, made me realize what was going on. I hadn’t peed my pants, but it certainly felt wetter down there than it should. The slight flush I felt and the tingling in my now harder nipples let me know that Aaron was arousing me!
Now that I knew what it was, it was easy to tell that there wasn’t enough liquid down there to have peed myself, and it was coming from a different part of my anatomy. But the feelings I was having in that area were much different than how I had imagined them yesterday, when I had wondered about what having a vagina would feel like.
I looked at Aaron who was laughing at me, but I immediately noticed that he had a very large bulge in the front of his jeans. I looked down at it, and when he realized I was looking, he stopped laughing and looked embarrassed.
“I see you have the same problem,” I told him. Unlike me, however, it was clear what was happening to him.
It was actually liberating to realize that while I was aroused, there was a good chance that those around me wouldn’t know or that I might be able to hide it. Aaron didn’t have that luxury anymore. That bulge was much larger than the one I’d had to try to hide on a number of occasions, and it had been difficult for me. It was clearly one of the female perks I was now going to have, and I certainly appreciated it.
The bus arrived right then, and I laughed at his concern when he realized he was going to have to get on and walk past everyone on the bus to a seat, and it would be very difficult to hide his engorged penis. I chuckled again, and then turned to walk to the bus.
Aaron followed behind me, and as we climbed on the bus, he stayed really close to me as we walked down the aisle. I knew he was trying to hide it from the others, but I couldn’t stop giggling, which caused him to keep complaining. Eventually we reached an empty seat and I slipped in as he sat down beside me.
“What do I do?” he asked. “How do you deal with this?’
He looked genuinely concerned, and I couldn’t stop laughing. I knew that I wasn’t helping though. He seemed to deflate before the humor had worn off, and by the time I could speak, it was much harder to see.
“There isn’t much you can do,” I told him. “They kind of have a mind of their own.”
He looked very worried. If he was as excited to be a guy as he said he was, I would have thought he would have been more aware of this issue. But apparently not. Or maybe it was just harder to deal with now that it was a reality.
I tried to make small talk with him after that. It seemed to work, and he definitely tried to stay away from topics that would embarrass him again.
“Do you have any desire to go fight the claydough?” he asked, bringing up something more serious after he, or more specifically his thing, had finally calmed down.
“Claydough?” I asked. I knew what he meant, but that was actually a clever name for them, unlike how most people were referring to them.
“They used it on the news this morning,” he said. “I think it is catching on.”
I nodded. I certainly liked it.
“My dad and my brother went into the city,” I told him. “When my mom and I were talking about it at breakfast, it felt like I needed to go into the city too.”
“I felt the same way while watching the news,” he said. “I understand the others now. I think they are right about the necklaces.”
While there hadn’t been anything specific to make me think about the necklaces this morning, now that we were having this discussion, I completely agreed.
“I can’t wait until after school,” he said.
“I can,” I told him. “I still don’t want to go fight claydough.”
“We are going to have to,” he stated. He was right too. I knew it. But that didn’t make me feel any better about it.
—
Surprisingly, the school day was very, very long. It took very little time for the feeling and need - that Daisy, John and Terry had described yesterday - to hit me full force. By the end of second period I was ready to find the others and drive into the city.
After school, we were at Terry’s van within five minutes of the last bell ringing. Normally, some of us had things to do after school and we didn’t meet up until later, but this time it was obvious that we all had been feeling the drive to head for the city throughout the day.
Five minutes later, we were on the road.
None of us felt confident about what we were doing. Despite what we had been feeling all day, nobody wanted to fight the things that the news reports kept calling ‘terrorists’. Yet at the same time, we knew that we had to fight them. How were we supposed to do something about it? None of us knew. All we knew is that the necklaces wanted us to do it, and the necklaces had something that would help us.
The conversation during our drive into the city was filled with ideas to “unlock” whatever this power was. Aaron and I could now feel what the others had felt yesterday in terms of there being more that the necklaces had to offer us. But the necklaces didn’t speak in plain words. We were guided only by thoughts, urges, and intentions.
“I think we need to stop somewhere and get something to hide our identities,” John said when we were approaching the city limits. “With all of the TV coverage around the claydough, we don’t need to be broadcasting who we are to the entire world, especially if somebody is backing them.”
His words rang true, and there were nods of assent all around, but the decision only opened the door to arguments about how to protect our identities. Ultimately, we decided that we would stop at one of the big box nationwide department stores in the city and find something to accomplish the task. Then we would drive to a nearby park to wait for news about where the claydough were attacking today. There was a risk that the claydough wouldn’t make an appearance in the city and our trip would be wasted, but since they had first been seen Wednesday morning, they had shown up at least once each day, and usually multiple times.
A half hour later, we stood in a quiet part of Stanley Park. Each of us was wearing a sweatsuit in the colors we now seemed to represent. The hoods on the sweatshirts were pulled up around our heads, and we each wore a black face mask that covered our noses and mouths.
Looking at the others, I thought that I looked just as ridiculous in my pink suit as they did in theirs. We looked like budget ninjas, or wannabe superheroes. We certainly did not look like a team that could deal with the claydough in any way, shape, or form.
“Let’s just try it,” Terry said. “It worked for me; it has to work for you too.”
The rest of us were skeptical, even though we agreed with him. Terry wanted us to try sparring with each other. He was sure that we would be able to unlock the martial arts that he had started doing the other day. This felt like the first step in actually fighting the claydough, and the closer we got to that eventuality the greater our stress and worry became.
Without warning, Aaron swiped at Terry’s leg and then chopped with his hand toward his chest. It definitely seemed like some kind of martial arts. The two of them then melded into what appeared to be a choreographed fight sequence, even though we knew it wasn’t. It was mesmerizing to watch them spar with each other! They looked like they knew what they were doing!
As I was watching them, I almost missed the arm that was swinging my way! Somehow, I managed to dodge it, and at the same time I swept my legs around and through Daisy’s. She fell to the ground, as stunned as I was, at the short interaction.
“Ow!” she complained as I helped her back up.
“That came out of nowhere!” I exclaimed to her.
“You’re telling me!” she said. “I thought I had you! I don’t know how you bent like that! I should have been ready for your counterattack!”
“Bent?” I asked. I didn’t remember bending. I just tried to avoid her attack.
“Well, dodging, or whatever,” she clarified. “I should have hit you, but you moved out of my way.”
I shrugged. Everything had been by instinct.
Something slammed into my back, and I cried out as I was pushed forward, but I curled into a roll that, when finished, had turned me toward my attacker as I regained my feet at the end. John was coming toward me. He swung at me, then kicked at me, then swung once more. Each time I was able to dodge his blow. When the last one flew by me I lifted my own leg and brought it to meet his chest. There was a large cracking sound, and then he fell to his knees, clutching his torso where my leg had made contact.
When he cried out in pain, my combat stance eased as I ran to aid him. I hadn’t meant to hurt him.
“Are you okay?” Daisy asked, worried as she knelt down next to her boyfriend.
“Yeah,” he replied, but he was still grimacing in pain. “I think I broke a rib.”
He looked up at me. I thought he was going to be mad, but there was a look of respect in his eyes that surprised me. He sat that way for a moment with Daisy hugging him before he made an attempt to stand. Daisy reluctantly let go and helped him up.
“I think it’s better now,” he said.
How does a broken rib get better that fast? But he let go of his torso and experimentally twisted it without grunting in pain.
“What was that?” he said while looking at me. “It felt like you hit me with a concrete block!”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just fought back.”
“No worries,” he said, trying to defuse the situation. “I’m not mad. I mean, I just ambushed you. But I certainly did not expect your leg to be made from iron.”
I looked down at my leg, and then experimentally squeezed it. It was still as pliable as always. It certainly wasn’t made of iron.
John laughed, causing me to look back up at him.
“I didn’t mean it literally,” he told me. “But it felt like your leg was made of stone when you kicked me.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“It’s okay,” he said again, still trying to placate me. I felt bad about hurting him, but at least he seemed to be alright.
From there, we continued to spar with each other. As we continued fighting, we started to learn a few things about each other.
To start, I hit like a brick, as Terry put it. Despite my tiny size (I was the smallest of all of us now), I seemed to be able to bring a lot of power to my attacks. I was also very agile and could move and bend my body in unnatural ways, according to John. Aaron described it as ballet fighting. He said that a lot my movements looked like they were inspired by the dancing he had watched me do yesterday. The same thing that made my attacks hit so hard also seemed to protect me. More than one of them complained that it hurt just as badly to hit me as it did to get hit by me.
Terry was strong. He could easily overpower any of us, even Aaron. He was fast, too. Many times he was able to mount a counterattack before one of us saw it coming while we were attacking him.
Aaron was strong too, though not quite as strong as Terry. He also seemed to be able to bring more power to his attacks than Terry did, but not quite as much as me. He seemed to be nearly as fast as Terry, and almost as durable as me.
Daisy was faster than Terry. She was the only one who could beat him when it came to commencing an attack. Her attacks were relatively light, but she was nearly as agile as I was.
John’s abilities were kind of in the middle of all of us. He hit pretty hard and he was pretty quick. He was more agile than I was though, and it was significantly difficult to hit him once we really started to understand what we were doing. He was also landing the most intelligent blows of all of us. He had always been really smart, but now that intelligence had been boosted and he always seemed to know the best place to attack to really hurt his opponent.
As we sat down on the grass at the end of the impromptu sparring session, it was clear that we all knew how to fight. None of us had any doubts that the necklaces wanted us to defend against the claydough. We had been prepared to fight, and we were really, really good at it.
We sat for a few minutes before John made a profound realization.
“I think we unlocked that power,” he said. “It’s clear we know how to fight now, and each of us definitely has different advantages that are perhaps not natural.”
He was looking at me, and I merely shrugged. I definitely hit harder than a young lady my size should. Strength definitely wasn’t the right way to describe those hits, though. I was the weakest of all of us. But there was definitely some type of power that not only protected me, but also gave me a wallop to include with my attacks.
When I thought about it, I no longer felt that “lock” we had all felt before, and I knew that he was right. We had unlocked the power of the necklaces during our sparring. Maybe all we needed to do was use the power. Maybe the act of fighting had done something. Either way, I suddenly felt that facing the claydough was now something I could do. I wasn’t afraid about fighting them anymore.
As I looked at my friends, I saw that they had come to the same conclusion. We were now some kind of superhero squad, or at the very least, we were a bunch of teenagers who now had “gifts” to help us fight the claydough. There was no longer any doubt about what we needed to do. Which was very apropos, because it was at that moment that John’s phone alarm went off. He had set it to alert him if any news of the claydough was mentioned on the local new sites or social media.
The claydough were back.
—
According to the news, the claydough were robbing a small hardware and electronics store about 10 minutes from the park. We quickly climbed into the van and headed that way. If we really were superheroes now, we really should have something more stylish than Terry’s old, used van to get around in.
The area around the hardware store was already cordoned off by the police by the time we arrived, and they were doing their best to get people out of the area while preventing others from wandering in. Terry pulled the car into a parking spot down the street, and we all exited the car.
“How are we going to get past the police?” Daisy asked.
“I don’t know,” John replied. “I think we should just try walking past them. There isn’t any reason to hide what we are doing; it is going to be captured by the news cameras anyway.”
He pointed to a news van that was already parked closer than we were, and there was also the sound of a helicopter above us, though we couldn’t see it.
“I doubt they are going to let us pass,” Aaron said. “They are actively trying to get people out.”
“Then let’s run past them!” Terry said, and then started running.
With no other recourse, the rest of us followed after him. Most of the people we saw were running the other way, and the cops were not looking this way as much as they tried to help people out of the area. Terry’s idea seemed to work as we ran past the blockade of police cars without even a word from the cops. It wasn’t until we were well past them that they started yelling at us to come back. But when we didn’t stop, they didn’t have a great desire to pursue us into the fray.
Soon we reached the entrance of the hardware store. Handyman’s Corner, the sign above the door read. It looked like a small ‘mom and pop’ type of shop.
As if on cue, a claydough walked out of the door carrying a box of tools and other items that it clearly had picked out. It was followed by a second one that was carrying some electronics, and a third that had a large case that was closed, preventing us from seeing what was inside. It appeared that the items weren’t just randomly grabbed, but that they had purposely picked up what they were carrying.
They looked surprised to see us waiting outside the door. But if they were worried at all, they didn’t show it as they set down what they were carrying and then rushed at us.
Without talking, we split off to intercept them. Daisy and I approached the one that had been carrying the electronics, Aaron and John went for the one with the tools, and Terry took on the last one.
I lost track of the others except Daisy, when the claydough in front of us started throwing punches. The thrill of the adrenaline that washed over me was only matched by the anxiety of getting into a real fight. The claydough swung at Daisy, who ducked, while I went for a kick to its back. When the kick landed, it felt a bit like I had kicked a stone wall, yet it didn’t hurt quite the same. The claydough’s body was more unyielding than a human body, but it wasn’t actually rock.
Daisy and I alternated our attacks with the claydough. She’d strike at it and I’d distract, then I’d strike and she’d dodge the claydough’s attack.
A few moments later there was a crash that sounded like a ceramic plate shattering on a floor. I glanced over to where the sound came from, and I saw Aaron and John looking down at the shards of a claydough that were sitting on the ground in front of them.
I almost didn’t see the swing that my claydough took at me, but dodged it at the last moment and brought my hand around to strike it in the chest. To my surprise, my hand crashed through its chest, which broke open with the same cracking sound I’d just heard. The impact sent the claydough flying backward, and as it hit the ground, it splintered and cracked just like a dinner plate. There were shards everywhere, but none of them continued to move.
So they were made of clay or fired clay.
The four of us turned to the last claydough that Terry was still fighting, but before any of us could reach him, he landed a blow with the same effect, and his claydough shattered in front of him.
We did it! Somehow, we had stopped the terrorist claydough that had been ravaging the city for the last three days that nobody else had been able to stop.
“Come on!” John yelled, and started running away. I was confused for a moment until I saw police running toward us. I turned and followed John away from them. We easily outran them, and it seemed like we had more energy and stamina than we’d had before. Once we’d lost sight of the police following us we backtracked back to the van, got in, and got out of there as quickly as we could.
The whole interaction took less than five minutes. We were all breathing deeply as Terry continued to drive, but the smiles on everybody’s faces was enough to understand that what we had just done had been as intense and amazing to each of us.
—
Sitting on the couch in John’s basement half an hour later, we were all watching the news special alerts that had interrupted the regular programming. They had apparently been live when we fought them, and they were still replaying the events of our short fight.
Apparently, the newscasts were more excited about the five unknown defenders who took out the claydough and then disappeared, than they were about the claydough. We were “new” news, though. They’d been talking about the unstoppable claydough for three days now. But we came along and stopped them! They kept replaying the fight, captured from a few different angles, and it was mesmerizing to watch ourselves take them down as quickly as we had. There was no doubt in my mind that the necklaces had a purpose, and we had just used the powers to accomplish it.
What would happen now? If the claydough were gone, would we have to give up the necklaces and take them back into the cave? None of us felt any desire or impressions of the next step to take. I hoped we got to keep them. There were likely other threats out there that we could deal with, and I sure wanted to do that again. The adrenaline rush it provoked was on par with some of the ballet competitions and recitals I had been a part of!
“We need better disguises,” John told us. “There are a couple of times where it seems like we were almost unmasked by the claydough. Daisy’s hood almost came off, and even if they didn’t know who she was, they would have at least narrowed it down to a blonde teenage girl.”
We all agreed. The sweatsuits weren’t the best things to fight in either, and they were very hot once we climbed into Terry’s van.
“Are we doing this, then?” Daisy asked us. “Are we going to be superheroes for the rest of our lives now?”
“What else is there to even fight?” Aaron asked instead. “We defeated the claydough. When was the last time you saw something like that?”
”Never” I thought in my mind. I didn’t say it out loud though. Nobody needed to. What we had done was definitely not a common occurrence. Even if we were to stay superheroes, there wasn’t anything to fight unless we became some kind of elite force for the army or something.
“We’ll worry about it later,” Terry told us, holding up a very familiar box. “For now, let’s celebrate.”
Smiles were all around the room as we got up from where we had been watching the news reports and moved over to the table. A relaxing night of board games was what I needed after the adrenaline rush of the fight.
—
Chapter 6
When my alarm woke me up the next morning, my first thought was: “Why is an alarm waking me up on a Saturday morning?” It took a few minutes for my brain to kick in to remind me that I had ballet and needed to get up.
Getting ready to leave the house was definitely quicker and easier, since I had taken a shower after getting home the night before. I’d need another after class.
Most of my family were still asleep when I went downstairs and into the kitchen. Mom was already there, and she had made my smoothie. She didn’t always make it, and I had fully expected to make my own this morning, but she just smiled at me while handing me the bottle it was in, and her car keys.
“Thanks, Mom,” I told her, shifting the tote on my shoulder so I could kiss her on the cheek.
“Are you doing okay?” she asked, concern evident in her voice.
“Yeah!” I told her truthfully. “Whatever caused this made sure of that!”
“What does that mean?” she asked, frowning now.
“I thought maybe you had noticed,” I replied. “I am what I am supposed to be, now. I feel it. Everyone around me feels it. In this new reality, I am the girl I now am.”
She looked at me oddly. My description was lacking, but I didn’t know how else to say it. But then I had a thought.
“Why did you make me a smoothie?” I asked her.
“Because you always have one before class on Saturday morning,” she replied without thought. “And I wanted to see how you are doing.”
“Why do I have one every Saturday morning?” I asked her next.
“The nutritionist said it was the best thing for you since you don’t have time for a full meal before class starts,” she replied.
I nodded. That was the correct answer.
“When was the last time you made one for me?” I continued probing.
“Last Saturday,” she said. “I couldn’t sleep and thought I’d make one for you.”
She looked at me like I was asking her stupid questions. In reality, she wasn't seeing what was happening.
“Mom,” I told her. “I’ve never had one of those smoothies before.”
She paused for a moment, taking in my words. Then, her eyes opened wider and she started nodding. Finally, she was starting to understand.
“I guess you are right,” she replied. “I’ve never made one of those smoothies before, either. But I didn’t even have to think about it.”
“Everything is like that now,” I told her. “I am the girl I have been my whole life. I know how to be a girl. I know how to do my makeup. I am an excellent ballet dancer. I didn’t know any of those things before, but they are second nature to me now. Surprisingly, I am okay with that.”
She stared at me for a moment, trying to absorb all of it. This was something that she clearly had not thought about before now. But she was a very smart woman and I knew that it was obvious to her now. She had missed it, but it had been right in front of her.
“What could do something like this?” she finally asked.
That was a question I wish I truly knew the answer to. Obviously, it was the necklace, but that was only partially correct. I wasn't ready to tell her about it yet either. There was more to what was happening other than just turning me into a girl, however. If all the necklace needed me to be was female, then it could have done that and left me, and the universe, dealing with the consequences. But that wasn’t what had happened. It changed everything around me to support this new young woman I had become. It didn’t just change me, it gave me the kind of life I needed in order to support its own goals. What that really meant, however, I still did not fully know.
“I don’t really know the answer,” I finally told her. “I’m starting to make some guesses, but it is what it is now, and I am happy about it.”
I surprised myself almost as much as I surprised her with that answer. I had already come to the conclusion that I was okay being female now. But this was the first time I had actually felt happy about it. And I did feel happy. Standing there with my mother, I seriously wondered if I would take the opportunity to turn back if it presented itself.
But that wasn’t going to happen, and I did not want to dwell on what I was starting to feel. I grinned at my mom and raised the bottle the smoothie was in.
“I have to get to the studio,” I told her. “Thank you for the smoothie. I’ll see you after class.”
Mom nodded, still lost in thought, and I walked through the kitchen to the garage, got in her car, and drove to the studio.
—
Saturday was partnering. Right now it was the only class we had with the guys, which made it awkward. I had danced with some of these guys in early ballet classes before we were separated to focus on our sex-specific disciplines. Others I had only met from this class.
What surprised me the most, however, was that my normal partner was Fred Valentine. Fred went to my school and was the first person at the studio that I had known from my previous life. When I had walked into the larger studio we practiced partnering in, I went over to him and set my stuff down next to his without thought. I was used to doing this, but the look he was giving me reminded me that not everybody was as used to these changes as I was.
“Hi, Fred,” I broke the silence as I started my warmup. “I didn’t know you danced ballet.”
He had been warming up, but had stopped to look at me strangely when I placed my stuff down next to him. It took a few more moments before he gathered himself back together and continued his warmup.
“Hi, Ember,” he said. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
I chuckled. That much was obvious from his reaction.
“The universe has made me quite the dancer, apparently,” I said.
He nodded, but he really didn’t believe it.
“Who did you dance with before?” I asked.
“Before?” he replied, confused.
“Before me?” I elaborated.
He looked confused for a moment.
“Nobody,” he said. “They paired us up not long after we both started this class.”
“I know,” I told him. “I remember. But I meant before the universe changed me.”
He really had to think about it for a moment, based on the expressions that crossed his face, before he realized what I was actually asking. That only made him look confused again, however.
“Anna?” he asked, rather than telling me. I didn’t know the answer to my question, but I looked at at the blonde girl who was now partnered with another guy. I did not know him but I knew his name was Alan. I was fairly certain they had danced together last week based on his response.
Fred was quiet as we finished our warmups, and didn’t say much as Miss Leigh and Mister Thomas led us through class. Fred was struggling, uncharacteristically. I’d never seen him dance. I’d never danced with him before. But I knew from experience and memory that he was better than what he was doing. The problem, however, became significantly worse when we started working on lift combinations.
We began the combination fine. When we reached the lift I jumped, and he got a hold of me slightly late but well enough, and up I went with his help. When I reached the apogee of the lift, however, things turned. His fingers started to dig into my thigh and I realized that his grip was off. Before it became too painful, however, I was on my way down, but it was uncontrolled.
It wasn’t the first time I’d been dropped. Technically it was the first time, but I had unfortunately gotten used to it. It had been a long time since Fred had dropped me, however. As one of the rising stars for the studio, they had paired me with their best prospective male dancer, and we had clicked almost immediately.
I hit the floor hard, since I’d been above his head at the time. Fortunately, it wasn’t an especially bad fall. It had happened enough that I was able to protect myself the best I could. It hurt, but I knew I was okay. Fred’s pride appeared to have taken the worst of it, based on the horror on his face when I was able to look up at him.
I smiled to try to ease what he was feeling as I stood back up, but he kept staring at me like he had just failed completely. He hadn’t though.
“Are you okay, Ember?” Miss Leigh asked from nearby.
“Yes,” I said and looked over at her. She looked concerned, but I smiled back to let her know I was fine.
“Fred, are you okay?” she turned her ire on him.
“Yes…” he said, but trailed off. “I…”
“He was a little late,” I told Miss Leigh. “But I tried to correct it. It’s my fault.”
Miss Leigh didn’t believe me, but it was the truth. Fred was late, but he was doing fine. When I realized his grip was slightly off I knew I wasn’t balanced properly, and I tried to compensate. But like a beginner, I had totally brought the fall on myself. The best thing I could do was rely on my core to keep myself steady and let him make the adjustment, but I didn’t. I tried to adjust myself and that compounded the entire problem as he no longer knew where my weight was, and I fell.
Speaking of my core, once again I found it odd I didn’t have abs. I had a flat stomach, but I must have had the most developed core of my entire friends group. If ballet class the other night hadn’t been enough to show me that, engaging my core to strengthen myself for the lift certainly had. That’s hard work!
“Again!” Miss Leigh said, loud enough for the entire class.
—
Fred was waiting for me as I left the changing room. He followed me out the door and started talking while we approached our vehicles.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. He had been apologizing for the rest of class.
“It wasn’t your fault,” I told him again. I liked Fred even though I hadn’t interacted with him much before this morning. But the constant apologizing was becoming annoying.
“It was,” he shot back. “If I’d been on top of my game, then you wouldn’t have tried to adjust. I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing!” I growled at him.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and then winced when he realized that he was apologizing for his apology.
“The truth is,” he continued. “When you came in and sat down next to me, I got extremely nervous. Everyone has watched what you have gone through this week. I didn’t know how to interact with you. I was half-afraid that…well, that…”
He sheepishly looked at me like I would know what he was getting at, but I didn’t know for sure. Honestly, I was tired. I wanted to go home, have a good meal, rest up to recuperate from class, and then meet up with my friends. There was a shop in the city that Aaron had found that might be able to create us some better disguises, and they wanted to go up there this afternoon.
“I thought you might not be a girl!” he blurted out.
I started laughing before I could catch myself. The last thing I needed to do was make him feel bad or alienate him. He was a fantastic partner and I wanted to keep dancing with him. But that was the stupidest thing anyone had ever said to me since this whole thing had started. He had been closer to me and touched me in ways no other guy had since I’d become female. If anyone was going to doubt what I had become, I did not think it would be him.
He looked crestfallen when I turned and looked over at him. Clearly, he hadn’t wanted to be that direct, but he had certainly gotten to the point, and I was actually happy about that. I did not want to spend all day standing outside the studio.
“I can tell you with utmost confidence that I am 100% female now,” I told him. “I’m sorry I made you feel awkward, then.”
I thought my words might be comforting, but they only made him look worse.
“That isn’t what I meant,” he spoke quietly. “It’s just that you are pretty hot, and there are a lot of guys at the school who envy Aaron now. I just meant that it was scary to be that close to you. Everyone sees you as female, and I was worried that you didn’t see yourself as one. I thought maybe it would affect our dancing.”
He certainly left me pondering his words after that statement. I had definitely been getting the type of looks that I would expect any beautiful woman receives from the men around her, but I had no idea I was considered prime dateable material by the guys at my high school. Based on how easily everything else in my life had transitioned, I probably shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was.
I had also clearly misunderstood what he had blurted earlier. I thought that he had been worried I still had a penis or something down there based on the way he said it and how he had been acting, but apparently there was no question that I was female with my peers. He was worried that I wasn’t mentally female.
“Whatever happened to me,” I told him. “It has made me female, inside and out. I was affected the same way everyone else was. This is me now, and I’m happy with it.”
He didn’t need, nor did he deserve, any more explanation than that. This was my life, not his, and I didn’t really care what he felt. As long as he kept dancing with me.
Fred nodded. I had definitely eased his worries, apparently.
“I’ll see you next week then,” he said and turned toward his car. It seemed like he was as anxious to get out of that conversation as I was.
—
“But won’t these guys know who we are?” Daisy asked worriedly as we drove toward the city in Terry’s van a few hours later. “They would be able to identify us!”
“Yes,” John said. “But I checked their website, and discretion is part of the contract. They won’t say anything, or we can sue them.”
“That won’t make it any better if the people who make our new outfits tell everyone who we are!” Daisy shot back.
There had definitely been some worries about having to be there in person, but there was no way they would be able to measure us and create appropriate outfits otherwise.
John opened his mouth to say something more, but his phone alarm went off. We all stared at it for a moment before he opened his phone to see what was happening. The rest of us reached for our own phones, except Terry, who was driving.
According to a breaking news bulletin, nearly 25 claydough were attacking a park near downtown! Nobody had seen more than three at a time, and we had assumed that they had always been the same three! We were sure that we had taken care of the problem, but clearly we were wrong!
The worst part was that they were no longer robbing local stores like they had every time before this. The claydough were terrorizing the park’s visitors and were clearly trying to cause mayhem instead. It was almost like they were trying to—
“They are trying to draw us out,” John stated, finishing my thought.
“What are we going to do?” I asked. “We didn’t bring the sweatsuits.”
Everybody looked around at the others, worried. We weren’t prepared for this. We had easily handled three of the claydough, but 25 was a whole lot more. How could we defeat them without being overwhelmed? If we did, if we even attempted it, then we would be blowing our cover. We had nothing in the car to disguise ourselves with. None of us had expected to see more of these things.
“I know what to do!” Aaron stated. There was no questioning him, as he said it with such confidence that we didn’t feel like we could dissent.
A moment later, it was clear. We all knew what to do too. We all had felt it. There was a call from the necklaces. It was as strong as the call we’d felt to go to the cave. It was also as clear about what we needed to do.
“Hurry!” Aaron told Terry. “We need to get to that park.”
—
When we finally arrived at the park an agonizing 15 minutes later, Terry pulled the car into a parking lot nearby.
“Let’s go,” he said, and exited the van. The rest of us followed and he led us into an alley nearby. We didn’t want anybody to see us.
Once we were out of view, we spread out until we were in a line. Were we insane? Admittedly, what we had gone through until this point had been fantastical, but that was nothing like what the necklaces were telling us to do now.
“Are you guys ready?” Terry asked. We all nodded in agreement.
“It’s Vanguard Time!” Terry yelled. “Ruby Power!”
“Sapphire Power!” John yelled next.
“Amethyst Power!” Daisy continued.
“Emerald Power!” Aaron shouted.
“Pink Diamond Power!” I finished.
A surge of power shot through me as I finished, and I felt more than saw some kind of armor encase me. It felt like it was hugging me and holding me tight, but once it settled there, I could move around as easily as if I was wearing regular clothes.
I looked down, not sure what I was going to find, and was amazed at what I was now wearing! I appeared to be wearing some kind of black-weaved armor undersuit. On top of that, in strategic places around my body to protect me, were thick, heavier composite armor pieces on top of the undersuit that were pink and white. The ensemble was finished off with gold trimming and a set of gold shoulder pads.
All of the armor had appeared out of nowhere. I couldn’t explain where it had come from or how it had gotten there, but I was clearly inside of it!
I looked over at the others, and was surprised to see that each of them were also wearing a helmet. It took me a moment to realize that I was also! The helmet felt like a second skin, and I hadn’t even realized I had one on! Now that I knew it was there, I also noticed that there were a number of AR displays in my vision now. As I looked at the others, I saw some information about them. I wasn’t entirely sure what the displays were showing me, other than there appeared to be a small map in the lower right corner of my vision that showed where I was, where my friends were, and a number of red dots nearby that must have been the claydough. The other information seemed like gibberish to me at the moment.
Terry ran out of the alley almost immediately and we followed. As we ran toward the park and the claydough, I was surprised at how much energy I seemed to have now. This transformation had also boosted us in ways I was not sure of yet. For one, I wasn’t getting winded from running as hard as we were.
As we entered the park we all split up without speaking to each other and we each intercepted a nearby claydough. Last night, it had been an easy fight, in part because I was fighting with Daisy. Now, I started attacking a claydough alone, yet it seemed much easier. My first strike at the claydough, who hadn’t seen me yet, landed a heavy blow on his neck. I expected the resilience that I had encountered last night, but instead, my arm went right through it and the creature shattered into shards! I definitely hit harder now than I had then.
I continued working around the park, taking out what claydough I found. The others were doing the same. Sometimes it took a few hits to shatter them, and sometimes I was able to land a killing blow the first time. Either way, it was significantly easier than it had been the night before.
Eventually, there were no more red dots on the map in my helmet, and I gathered with the others. I’d definitely had to exert myself during the fight, but I apparently had even more stamina now than the boost I’d received last night when we first unlocked the power of the necklaces.
“Oh!” John shouted when it was clear we were alone now. “A pink diamond! No wonder it hurts so much to hit you!”
“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked him. I hadn’t been able to determine what kind of gem was on my necklace, but I hadn’t thought that it was a diamond. I didn’t even know that there were pink diamonds, until I yelled “Pink Diamond Power” before we fought the claydough.
“Diamonds are super, super hard,” he told me. “You don’t hit with a lot of strength, you are just very hard!”
I just shrugged at him. I wasn’t a gemologist. I had no real idea what the properties of our gems really were.
“That was insane!” Terry exclaimed. “I can’t believe this is happening!”
There were agreements all around. None of us had expected any of that! Blue dots started to appear at the edge of the small map, and I looked up worried there were more claydough. Instead there were people with cameras watching us. Fortunately we were disguised now.
A rumbling sound pierced the air above us, and we looked up to see some kind of aircraft fly over the park at very low altitude. It looked vaguely like a plane, but was clearly far more advanced. A door opened on the side, and somebody jumped out.
It seemed like suicide to jump from a plane, even that low, but we all just stared in wonder as the person fell to the ground. There was a large smack and the ground shook heavily. I was able to keep my balance, but I was surprised at how agilely I was able to move to keep from falling.
At the center of the park, however, was a large cloud of dust where the person had hit. As the cloud dissipated there was a large crater in the middle, and inside was not a person, but some kind of metal monster. It started moving, and a moment later it had climbed out of the crater and was staring at us.
“It is true,” a masculine but very robotic voice emanated from the monster. “The Vanguards are back. No matter, my construct will take care of you.”
Without pausing, the metal monster ran toward us at a much faster speed than I thought it would be capable of. Moments later, it was swinging at Terry, and we immediately began fighting this new monster.
Terry managed to dodge the blow, and Aaron landed a kick on his back, but cried out in pain. Terry then struck back, hitting the monster in the chest, but he too cried out.
I followed him in and kicked at the monster's legs, trying to sweep them out from under him. When I made contact with its right leg, however, it hurt! And the monster didn’t move! The monster was made of metal, and clearly we were at a disadvantage fighting it.
We managed to retreat a few moments later, putting some distance between us and it. The monster stood back, but on its unmoving metal face it almost seemed like it was gloating. For all of the power we’d received, it did little to help us flesh-and-bone warriors fight a metal construct. We needed something more.
“Ruby Sword!” Terry yelled, surprising me. What was he doing?
“Sapphire Staff!” John continued. Clearly they knew something that I didn’t.
“Amethyst Bow!” Daisy shouted, and suddenly I realized what I needed to do.
“Emerald Shield and Blaster!” Aaron yelled a mouthful.
“Pink Diamond Daggers!” I completed the call.
Immediately, two daggers materialized in my hands. They matched the suit I was wearing perfectly, and had pink diamonds embedded in the hilts. I looked over at the others. Terry was now holding a rather impressive looking sword. John had a staff that had a blade on one end. Daisy was holding a bow and was notching an arrow, Aaron was holding some type of blaster in his right hand, and had some type of energy shield in his left.
It seemed the metal construct didn’t like our new weapons, and it charged forward. Aaron went right at it while the rest of us spread out. The monster swung at him, but he used his shield to block the blow and then he fired the blaster into its side. The monster roared, and there was now a large hole where it had been hit.
I came from the other side and dug one of my daggers into the top of the monster’s leg. It went in almost like butter! What had been an impenetrable skin of metal moments before was now an inconvenience to these new weapons. I stabbed my other dagger into its side and some type of fluid started spurting out.
John had circled around to the back and shoved the blade end of his staff into the monster’s back. The metal construct roared, throwing its head back in pain.
When it came forward again, an arrow, shot by Daisy, landed straight into the area where its eyes would have been if it was human.
It roared a second time, and it sounded as if it was in pain, but that didn’t last long as Terry jumped in front of it and swung his sword at the neck, severing the metal head from the metal body.
The roaring stopped abruptly, the head landed on the ground in front of the body, and then the body fell over backward. Nothing moved.
I sighed in relief. Odd crap kept getting thrown at us, but we seemed to have the tools to prevail.
We all stepped back, away from the now dead construct. Whoever had sent the construct had known we were Vanguards, and our enemy was still out there somewhere. But nothing else was in the vicinity.
There was a distant roar. I turned, fearing we had missed something, but it was a crowd that had gathered at the edge of the park. They were cheering for us!
With another sigh of relief, I let my worry drop, and the two daggers in my hands disappeared back to wherever they had come from. I had no doubt I could call them again if they were needed, but right now it looked like we were safe.
“What the heck was that?” Daisy asked, staring at the unmoving thing now in front of us.
“It looks like some kind of robot,” John replied. “If you look here, you can see some of its components. This was made by someone.”
John was pointing at the slash I had made in the side of the, well, robot. It did look like some kind of electronics and motors. I was no expert, but I felt confident enough he was right.
“The voice?” I asked. “I assume that was who made it? He was talking through it?”
“That would make sense,” John replied. “And he knew who we were. We called upon Vanguard power, and he knew who we were.”
That was a scary thought. We didn’t really know what we were doing, but that voice seemed to know quite a bit about us.
“Guys,” Aaron said, pointing at where the crowd had been.
I looked up, worried again that there was another surprise. But he was pointing at an advancing crowd of what appeared to be reporters. There were people carrying microphones and holding TV cameras who were quickly approaching us.
“I don’t think we want to stay here,” Terry said.
All of us nodded and turned to go the other way, but a loud roar stopped us and the reporters.
Looking up, I watched as the plane we had seen earlier flew over once more. I expected a door to open and another one of those metal constructs to come out, but instead it turned up into a long loop. As it reached the top of the loop high above us, it started changing. It was too far away to properly see what was happening, but my helmet had it targeted as an enemy. A small representation of the plane was in the top right of my vision. I realized that there had always been a picture of an enemy there, and it must be some kind of display of my current “target” that I was fighting.
The small display was changing almost like a Transformer as it continued on its downward arc toward us. The wings had moved and the tail looked different, but it was hard to understand what was happening. A moment later, however, the small display no longer showed a plane, but something that vaguely resembled the metal construct we had just fought. As it approached us, it was easier to see the changes. The wings appeared to now be legs. Where the tail had been was clearly a head. Two arms seemed to have extended from the fuselage.
The plane or construct or “conplane” as my mind unhelpfully named it, continued approaching the ground. The conplane’s engines now appeared to be pointing vertically, and it was slowing as it approached. We all stood there like idiots watching it come toward us until it came to rest on two new feet that had appeared at the end of the wing legs.
It was huge! It was bigger than a regular passenger plane! It looked bigger than a jumbo jet! There was absolutely no way we could battle that thing! All it had to do was step on us and it would accomplish its goal!
Fortunately all of the reporters who had been coming our way were now running back the way they had come. The conplane had landed on the opposite side of the park from them, which was a minor blessing. The last thing we needed was the reporters getting in our way or even worse, dying.
“What do we do now?” I asked worriedly. It didn’t matter what kind of power we seemed to unlock, there was a worse monster out there to battle.
“I think we should run,” Aaron said. I agreed, and started to turn back toward the reporters, before noticing that Terry actually took a step toward the conplane.
“Terry, what are you–” Aaron called to him, but was interrupted by Terry.
“Red Lion Titan Power!” Terry yelled, gesturing in some sort of martial arts move at the same time.
I immediately stopped and turned around. There was more to unlock?
Terry jumped forward with more power than I expected anyone to be able to have, and then out of nowhere, Terry was encased by a huge red mechanical lion! It was far enough away not to step on us, but I still instinctively took a step backward.
“Blue Eagle Titan Power!” John exclaimed, and he made a similar technique to what Terry had. A moment later, he jumped up into the sky toward the left of where we were standing, and a large blue eagle appeared surrounding him!
I just stared in awe for a moment. What was this?!
“Green Dragon Titan Power!” Aaron called out next. He then jumped into the sky toward the right and a large green dragon appeared around him.
“Purple Unicorn Titan Power!” Daisy cried, before jumping toward Terry’s lion and having a large metal unicorn appear around her.
I was nervous, but felt myself start doing some kind of martial arts technique that I did not know, but was clearly what I was supposed to do.
“Pink Phoenix Titan Power!” I yelled impulsively, and then jumped straight up.
I continued to rise higher and higher. Higher than I had ever been in my life without something under my feet! Then, the most peculiar feeling coursed through me as a pink energy seemed to surround me. Moments later I appeared to be sitting in some type of cockpit as the phoenix I was sure had formed around me had now become some type of flying vehicle I was controlling. The controls were very instinctive, and I began flying around the park without much thought. Once I knew what I was doing, I turned back toward the conplane. Terry was slashing at one of the wing legs with his claws, and Daisy had her hind legs kicking into the other.
The conplane stumbled backward, but didn’t seem harmed. A moment later John’s eagle swooped down and clawed at the head of the construct and Aaron’s dragon swung its tail at the midsection. Neither seemed to have much effect.
I flew toward the conplane, pressed a button on one of my joysticks, and a large pink ball of energy flew toward it. The energy hit the conplane on the right side of its torso and tore a small hole into it.
“Yes!” I rejoiced as I flew past it and turned to line up for another shot.
Out of the side window of my cockpit I saw Terry’s lion open its mouth and a stream of fire bellowed out at the leg of the conplane, causing a large searing gash to be displayed once it stopped.
John’s eagle made another dive toward the conplane, and a blast of ice exited its open mouth, freezing the right arm of the conplane in place. There was a large block of ice keeping the arm from moving. He then started his own turn to attack again.
Aaron’s dragon opened its mouth and a large ray of green energy shot out, slamming into the torso of the conplane, bisecting it and leaving a large gash across the torso.
Daisy’s unicorn put her horn into the ground, and a section of the park shot up at the conplane, knocking it to the side, where it stumbled and landed on a knee.
As I came around to line up a second shot, the conplane roared and slammed its still useful arm into the red lion, throwing it across the park. Terry landed where the crowd of reporters had been moments earlier, and I hoped that they had all retreated.
I fired a second shot, and the energy ball sped toward the conplane, striking its back near the shoulder of the arm that had just thrown Terry. I banked immediately to turn away from it, but I wasn’t fast enough as its arm came around and slashed at me, connecting with the right side of my titan. There was a large bang, and a groaning sound, but then I was away from it and corrected my flight to stabilize it from the blow. A number of red warning lights were blinking at me.
The conplane stood up, and immediately kicked Daisy’s unicorn, sending it flying across the park to land near Terry’s lion. I thought we were a match for it, but it clearly still had an advantage with how easily it was throwing us around.
“This isn’t working,” Aaron said, his voice coming through my helmet as if I was next to him. “We need more power.”
“Initiate MegaTitan sequence now!” Terry called out.
“What?!” Daisy screeched, but my hands were already moving, doing something with the controls in my titan, and out the window I saw Daisy’s titan getting up and moving toward the red lion.
A moment later, both the red lion and the purple unicorn started transforming, until they looked like legs. I felt my own titan turn on its own until I seemed to be right above them, and then I heard sounds like it was transforming too. Next thing I knew I seemed to be settling on top of the two legs. Not long after the titan came to a stop there was a loud noise as something hit me from behind, and then two green arms, which appeared to be both ends of Aaron’s dragon, came out in front of me. Another clang came from above, and I had to imagine that John’s eagle was now sitting on top of my phoenix like a head.
Suddenly my chair started to move! There was a rush of air around me as I was plunged into darkness, and then almost immediately my chair came into a new cockpit where I found the other Vanguards in their own chairs, surrounding Terry!
“MegaTitan online!” Terry said too loudly in the small space. “Everyone okay?”
I looked around, trying to figure out what had just happened. Apparently, all of our titans had just combined themselves into a single large titan. They were all connected as some type of mega robot that we were now controlling from inside of it. I had a number of controls in front of me, but I didn’t know what they did.
“Set and ready,” Aaron replied.
“Let’s give it to him,” John said.
“Locked and loaded,” Daisy continued.
“I have no idea what is going on,” I added. “But let’s do it!”
There was laughter around the cockpit, but then everyone started moving and manipulating the controls in front of them. That might sound like we were being mind-controlled, but it wasn’t. We instinctively knew what we needed to do. I did not know what I was controlling as I manipulated the controls in front of me, but it was clear this new MegaTitan was moving forward.
The conplane looked on, waiting for us to approach. I sensed that it wasn’t worried.
I watched nervously as we approached the construct that was now waiting for us. I looked around, and it didn’t seem like the others knew any more than I did, but we all kept doing what felt appropriate.
Out of the window or screen in front of us (I couldn’t tell which it was), I watched as the right arm of the MegaTitan swung at the conplane. The right arm appeared to be the head of Aaron’s dragon, and it connected with the side of the conplane. The construct staggered backward. That gave me hope, but we’d had a momentary advantage with the titans before the construct started fighting back.
Next, the purple foot came flying into view and connected with the opposite side of the conplane, and it staggered again, falling to the side and landing on its knees. We took a step back, and then we began twirling around. Just before the conplane came back into view, the red foot entered from the right side, and it connected with the head of the conplane, knocking it backward onto its back.
“Yes!” Terry cried out as the conplane lay there, unmoving. We did it! I heard and felt a sigh of relief from me and the other Vanguards in the cockpit.
A whirring sound started from outside the cockpit, and it took a moment for me to realize that it was coming from the conplane that was laying before us. A moment later, the whirring turned into a sound that made me think some kind of power generator was spooling up. A second later, the right hand of the conplane turned into some kind of energy gun, and it pointed it right at us.
Horrified, I didn’t know what to do! For the first time since we had ended up in our titans, I didn’t have a move to make! There was no instinct that came to me.
But Aaron did.
“Green Dragon Shield!” he yelled and manipulated his controls, and a green energy shield appeared in the left hand of the MegaTitan. Almost immediately he brought the shield up and the whole MegaTitan rumbled and we started getting pushed back by the white energy beam that lanced out of the conplane, hitting the shield square on.
The shield held! There didn’t seem to be any red lights anywhere I could see, and it appeared to be dissipating the energy being shot at us by the construct. It continued for a few seconds before the beam stopped. Through the green tint of the energy shield, we could now see the conplane standing before us once more. The energy weapon was still pointed at us, but it wasn’t firing.
“Red Lion Sword!” Terry called out. Although I couldn’t see it, I knew that a sword had appeared in the right hand of the green dragon. I could picture it in my mind being held by the mouth of the dragon, which now made up the actual hand.
Then, we were charging forward. The tip of the conplane’s energy gun started to glow, and the shield came up in front of us to block the blast once more. Instead of being pushed back like the first time, our momentum kept us moving forward. As we approached I saw the right hand and the sword come into view as it slashed down at the right hand of the conplane, and severed both the bottom half of the arm, and the entire energy weapon, from the conplane. The green shield then slammed into the conplane, pushing it backward enough while the right arm came around again and decapitated the head from the rest of the plane construct. It fell to the ground a moment before the rest of the conplane fell backward.
This time, it did not move. We stood there, ready for any indication that it would recover, but after five minutes, nothing had happened.
“Cut off all of its limbs,” John said. “And move them apart. Let’s make sure this thing is dead.”
I watched as we directed the MegaTitan to dismember the conplane, severing it into smaller sections. I suspected that people might start exiting the plane, but the more and more we cut, the more obvious it was that the entire thing was one big robot. There was nobody on board. It had a small cargo area, which the metal monster had come from earlier, but there was no sign of anyone or anything else inside.
“I think we destroyed it,” John finally said. There were nods all around the cockpit.
“But whoever was controlling it is still out there,” I added.
The nods continued. There had been a distinct intelligence that talked to us earlier, and it was not in the wreckage. All of us knew that this wasn’t the last we’d hear of whatever had created these things.
“It’s time to go,” Aaron said, pointing over to the side of the screen farthest from me. There was a new presence that appeared to be some military vehicles.
“Absolutely,” Terry said, and we all reached over to a specific control that we all had on our control panels. We pressed them in unison, and the MegaTitan around us faded away the same way the titans had appeared, and we were all falling toward the ground.
Somehow I managed to keep myself from screaming at the long drop. The others did the same. As we reached the ground we all seemed to slow, somehow, and land lightly on our feet. Without a word, we all turned away from the military presence and began to run.
It took time, but we eventually made it out of the park and out of the prying eyes of any onlookers and we quickly ducked into an alley.
“Power down!” we all said together, and the Vanguard suits faded away the same way as everything else, and then it was just my friends and me standing there.
“Don’t talk to anyone until we get far away from here,” John said, and started toward the other end of the alley. “They won’t know who we are and we don’t want to give it away.”
We agreed and we started following him. It was a fairly long walk around the park, passing all of the onlookers who were still watching raptly. The few glimpses we got through the crowd showed that the military vehicles had now surrounded the remains of the conplane and were keeping people back.
Eventually we made it back to Terry’s van, and we all climbed in wordlessly and started the drive home.
—
The necklaces had certainly changed our lives, some more than others. I looked over at Aaron who was sitting beside me in the van. He was looking out the window. I reached over and grabbed his hand on the seat between us. He turned and looked at me, and smiled.
Today had been way, way crazier than any of us had been expecting, but I felt an adrenaline rush like I’d never had before! These powers, these weapons, the Titans, it was almost too much to even think about. Who in their right mind would even listen to us if we told them what we had gone through today!
But despite all of that, despite all of the amazing things I had experienced today, I was able to experience them with Aaron.
“I’m ready for bed,” Terry told us. “I’m going to drop you guys off at home.”
All of us agreed. The ride home had been quiet. Everybody other than Terry had started to doze off at one point or another, and we never really had a good chance to talk about what we had gone through. Clearly, the Vanguard power was taxing, however. I too was ready for bed.
Terry stopped at my house first, and Aaron and I both got out and Terry drove away. Aaron looked as tired as I felt, but I didn’t want him to leave.
“Want to come in and meet my family?” I asked him.
He looked toward his house for a moment. I knew he didn’t want to leave me either. Eventually, he nodded.
We started up the walk to my house, then I opened the front door. It was quiet inside, other than the sound of a TV nearby.
“Hi, Ember,” my mom said as we entered the room. All of my family were sitting on the couches around the room and had clearly been watching the TV. “Who is this?”
I smiled at her, and she smiled back. She already knew.
“Everybody, this is Aaron,” I told my family. “Aaron, this is my family.”
There was a bit of chuckling from Aaron and from around the room. He was easily recognizable, just as I was to those who had known me before.
“It’s nice to meet you again, Aaron,” my mom said and came over and gave him a hug. “Ember has such nice things to say about you.”
There was more laughter among all of us.
“Come sit over here!” Amy said, and cleared room on the couch she had been sitting on for us.
I was tired enough, and Aaron seemed to agree, so we walked over and sat down next to Amy. It felt almost too nice to sink down into the comfortable cushions of the couch. I didn’t want to fall asleep while Aaron was still here.
“What are you guys watching?” I asked as we settled in. I was sitting closer to Aaron than I ever had before, but I liked it, and he seemed to as well.
“There was an alien attack in the city!” Brad almost yelled. “Big monsters and everything! And there were even some Power Rangers that came in and destroyed them!”
“Power Rangers?” I asked, incredulously. I knew it was true, but I didn’t want to make it sound like I knew what was going on.
The TV didn’t lie, however. They seemed to be watching some kind of special report or breaking news on the TV. It clearly was not regular programming. They were showing a replay of what had happened from the angle of the reporters who had been on the ground. It was certainly different to see it from that perspective after having lived through it.
Everyone’s attention was focused on the television. I looked at Aaron to see what he thought about what we were watching. He had a silly smile, but was looking at me rather than the TV. I smiled back.
Before I even knew what I was doing I reached my head up, and our lips met. I had never kissed anyone before, and had no other experience to compare this to, but it felt like magic. It was a quick peck, since my whole family was in the room, but it was one of the most important events in my life. I will never forget that moment.
I smiled up at him as we parted, and then placed my head on his shoulder. He then leaned his head against mine. I watched as the Vanguard Force battled the metal monster on the screen for a moment, but almost immediately I fell into a needed sleep.
—
Afterword
Now that you have finished the story, you may be saying to yourself: “Those fight sequences were too short! They should have been longer! I am left wanting more!”
If so, then I properly captured the way I always felt watching Power Rangers when I was younger. It took me a while to realize that the fights in the show were so short because they were reusing footage from a Japanese show. It was also only a 30 minute program (20 without the commercials). There was always lots of story and little fighting. I always wanted more. When I set out to write this story I had originally intended to make the fight sequences more in depth. The first one came out like what is in the story, however, and it felt so right to the tribute I was trying to write that I continued writing them that way. I’m sorry if you want more, but this felt like a Power Rangers episode to me, even if it is about Vanguard Force.
Thank you for reading this story. I hope you liked it. I hope it was Morphinomenal!
Once a Ranger, always a Ranger.