The parents of a small boy face a difficult choice after an injury to their son.

Audra: A New Life

by Joanne Foxcourt

Chapter 1 - Losing Aaron

Author's Note: I've been an avid reader of TG fiction for quite a long time. I especially enjoy stories that are sweet and sentimental or those in which the character is punished with love and compassion (if you want to know what that means, read any of the Aunt Jane stories by Tigger). Anyways, this is my first attempt at a story and I hope you enjoy it.

All the usual copyright and "viewing if you're legal" rules apply. There is no sex in this story, the character is far too young, but there is implied violence. It is a work of fiction and all the characters are fictional, any similarities to the living are chance.

For those who may think that this story is inspired by Little Katie's "How Life Can Change", Joanne tells me that it is. There's not a much higher compliment a new author can pay someone she admires than to attempt to tell a similar story with her own twists. I think Joanne succeeds.

Another thing, the villains are there as a dramatic device in order to get the story moving. Please don't read too much into their ethnicity or religion.

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Chapter 1: Ransom Demands.

"Remember honey, come straight home after the game," said Aaron's mom, "we have your grandparents visiting."

"I will mom," replied Aaron as he grabbed his baseball glove and hat from the front table. He smiled happily at the start of a new summer with baseball, grandparents, and all of the other fun things kids get to do on their summer vacation. Aaron had just turned eleven and while he was small for his age, he was actually a pretty good athlete and a real fanatic for baseball because it's lack of physical contact gave him a better chance against the boys who were bigger than him.

Aaron's size was unusual for the men in his family. Both his father and older brother were quite a bit bigger when they were his age. He was more like his older sister and mother; small, compact, and cute rather than handsome. He sometimes got teased for his cuteness, looking more like a girl could be a real burden for a young boy, but because of his baseball ability and his general friendliness, the teasing was usually good natured.

Aaron led a good life. His family was very well off, courtesy of both inheritances and a father who had very sound business sense. They lived in a fancy neighborhood and he and his siblings attended a prestigious private school. Being a smart lad in a moneyed family meant very bright prospects for Aaron as he got older. Of course, being eleven, he didn't really think about those issues.

***

As Aaron tore down the street on his bicycle, he failed to notice the dark van that had pulled out from around the corner of a nearby street. The van had tinted windows and a license plate that was obscured by dirt and road dust. The man behind the wheel nodded at his companion beside him, "is this the one we want?"

"That's him. He is perfect for us. Wealthy family, young, and easily controlled and we can make a lot of money for the cause if we grab him."

"Do you want to grab him now or wait until after his game?"

"Wait for the game. He's rushed now; he may not stop for us. Besides, it will give us a chance to study him and maybe we will see some other potential sources of revenue amongst his friends."

The driver nodded again and turned to pass Aaron as both headed to the baseball diamond. As the men parked their van a few minutes later, they watched Aaron enter the parking lot to chain up his bike, getting ready for the first game of the season. Most of his team was already there and the men could see that the other team was also ready to go. Carefully, they found themselves some seats in the bleachers and settled into watch the game.

***

"Hey Aaron, ready for the big game?" shouted out Aaron's best friend Mike.

"I was born ready Mike!" Aaron laughed at him. It was their ritual of superstition that many athletes have.

"Can you hang out after?"

"Nah, my grandparents are coming over today and I promised my mom that I'd go straight home."

"Nuts."

Aaron laughed again and shrugged with that "what can I do" kind of shrugs that all kids seem to be able to use. He wasn't that unhappy about it though, he loved visiting with his grandparents.

After that, the coaches for the two teams started organizing their young charges and the home plate umpire shouted, "Play ball!"

***

After the celebration of the win, 7-4 with Aaron scoring twice, he slapped a high five with his friend Mike and jumped on his bike for the ride home. Aaron was feeling pretty happy, he won, scored some runs, and his grandparents were coming to visit. All in all, he though, this was turning into a glorious day.

"Hey kid!"

Aaron looked up at the van that had pulled up beside him and the smiling face of the man at the passenger window, "yes?" Aaron pulled over his bike as the van came to a stop and the two men climbed out.

"My friend and I are a little lost, we're looking for State Lane and we haven't had much luck finding it," said the man as he pulled out a hand drawn map.

Aaron didn't have either of the native caution of girls or the street caution of poorer youths growing up in the inner city. He leaned over to look at the map, "you're close, sir, all you need to do..." His voice fell silent as he felt the prick of a needle and the world started to go black. His mind screamed help, but nothing came out of his mouth.

Both men acted quickly. They lifted Aaron into the van through the side door. The former passenger climbed in after him and the driver jumped in behind the wheel and sped the van off down the road.

***

"Where is that boy?!?" Marianne, Aaron's mom fumed. "He was supposed to be home hours ago."

"Have you called Mike's place mom?" Susie asked. "He usually goes there after his baseball games."

"He had better not, but I guess I had better check."

"Don't get too upset with the lad, Mari," said Aaron's grandmother, "he's just a boy and he's doing what all little boys have done for centuries." Aaron's grandfather laughed at that and nodded wisely in agreement as he looked at his son, Aaron's dad who was also chuckling.

"Still, I'll call and get him to shake his tail home," replied Marianne as she picked up the phone in the parlor and dialed Mike's home. "Hi June, its Marianne, is Aaron over there? I see... Okay... Thanks June."

"He's not there. Mike told his mother that Aaron had left from home straight after the game." Marianne looked worried. "Ken would you take a look around the neighborhood for your brother?"

"Sure mom. Don't worry, I'll find the little brat and bring him home." Ken smiled reassuringly. Ken teased his brother a lot, but he was thinking that this was pretty unlike him; the kid was normally pretty reliable when he made a promise. Ken, too, was getting worried.

However, before Ken could head out of the house, the phone rang. As his father, James, picked it up, he told Ken to wait since it could be Aaron calling. "Hello, Wilson residence, James Wilson speaking."

As James listened on the phone, the rest of the family could see him turn pale and start to shake. He said into the phone, "I see, I understand. I'll wait for your next call."

"What's the matter honey? Is Aaron hurt?" Marianne asked.

"Hurt?" James shook his head, "no, not hurt, not yet. He's been kidnapped!" Tears formed in his eyes as he hugged his wife who had begun crying in fear for her youngest son, her baby. Other cries of fear and astonishment quickly followed.

Fear and worry evident in his voice, but ever the strong one, James' father tried to calm everyone down, "What did he say on the phone son?"

Grateful for the strong, but simple, reassurance of his father's calm voice, James replied, "They want five million dollars in seven days or they said they would start taking away portions of Aaron's life." Marianne cried even more at hearing that.

"What do they mean portions of his life?"

"I don't know. What do we do?"

"We call the police and we start trying to get the ransom together." James' father said. "We can hope that they find Aaron first, but we only have a week and five million is a lot of money to put together in such a short time. Use your cell phone in case the kidnappers call back."

Chapter 2: Darkness.

Aaron could feel the tight rope around his wrists and ankles as he slowly woke. His mouth felt extremely dry from the cloth gag and the blindfold kept him from seeing where he was. All he could tell is that he was lying on a thin mattress and the room had a slight stench to it as though it was urinated in.

"He is waking up."

"Good," replied another voice as Aaron felt the gag being removed from his mouth. "Don't talk boy or we put the gag back in. Now, you will listen." Aaron just nodded as he was given a small sip of water. The voice continued, "We have contacted your parents. Your continued safety relies on them following our directions clearly and quickly. We have demanded five million dollars in seven days. If they fail to do that, we will take away part of your life and the ransom will double. If they succeed, we will let you go as we have found you. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." Aaron croaked through the dryness of his mouth, "Why?"

"Though you spoke, I will answer, but remember that you are not permitted to speak again. We have a cause for the glory of Allah. We are his warriors and we seek justice and retribution for the suffering and evils that your country has visited upon us. It is both just and fitting that financing this goal comes from you. Allah smiles at the irony of the devils paying for their own destruction. Your ransom will help us as will the ransoms of others like you."

Aaron remained silent as the fear swept through him. He was young and the events of September 11th were a blur for him, but he remembered the fear and who was blamed. For the first time in his young life, Aaron was beginning to understand the evil lengths that some would go to and that he was caught within them through no fault of his own. Silently, he prayed that his parents would save him, he no longer doubted the danger that he faced at the hands of his captors.

***

James answered the door and admitted the two police detectives. They introduced themselves as detectives Stewart and Bolton respectively. "We're very sorry about this situation Mister Wilson; we will do our best to get your son back," Detective Stewart said after the introductions.

"Thank you Detective, we appreciate both your assistance and that you have managed to keep this away from the press. My wife is not up to the strain of dealing with the press right now."

"Is the rest of the family still here Mister Wilson?" asked Bolton.

"I've sent my other two children with their grandparents until this is resolved. I thought it best to distract them and to keep them from being underfoot while you investigate. My wife is exhausted and asleep upstairs."

"That's fine. If we need to talk to them, we can always call them. I don't think that will be necessary though. We have talked to Aaron's young friend and his story checks out. He did mention that there were some people in the stands that weren't usually there. He wasn't sure if they came to watch the other team, but they looked a bit out place, especially their van. I guess the van was pretty beaten up for this neighborhood."

"That's not a lot to go on is it?" James asked.

"I'm afraid not," replied Bolton, "but that's what we have so far. We've placed traces on your phone line, but I would be surprised if they called from their hideout. You never know though, sometime kidnappers slip up. We managed to monitor the second phone call with the ransom delivery instructions, but the trace ran to a pay phone in a shopping mall. I suspect that the kidnappers are close to that area, but there are a lot of apartments and houses around there and it's a bit rundown."

Just then, the phone rang. James looked at the detectives. "Go ahead and answer Mister Wilson, the trace is automatic and the conversation will be recorded. We're not as archaic as the movies make us out to be," Stewart informed him.

"Hello, Wilson residence, James speaking," James automatically said as he picked up the phone and turned on the speaker.

"Mister Wilson, you have been very bad. You have contacted the police and that has a price," spoke a harsh sounding voice at the other end of the connection.

"A price?" asked James with fear in his voice.

"Yes, the new price is ten million and we will now take a piece of your son's life. You shouldn't have made this mistake Mister Wilson, but it is done and your additional contribution will only help our cause." The click of a phone hanging up was audible.

"What have I done?" James cried. Both detectives looked at each other with concern.

"We're extremely sorry at this turn of events, sir, but all we can do now is find your son or give them the ransom as they demanded. Can you arrange ten million?" Stewart asked.

"I can, but it will be very hard to do," replied James as he collapsed into a chair.

Bolton answered the ringing of his cell phone. "Bolton. I see..."

***

Aaron was shaken awake.

"Your parents made a mistake boy."

Aaron paled and began to shake.

"There are two prices for their mistake. The first is the ransom has doubled. The second is a part of your life."

Aaron felt the needle as the darkness once again began to cover him.

Chapter 3: Found.

"We have some news," Bolton said as he hung up his cell phone. "The kidnappers have made a mistake, they used the same phone."

"How is that a break?" James asked.

"They'll call back, be assured of that, and this time we will have the phone watched."

"What of my son?"

"Hopefully he will be okay. These threats are common, but they are not usually followed through on."

"The 'usually' is cold comfort Detective."

"I wish I could offer more, but we don't know these kidnappers and we don't know what this cause of theirs is. For now, we have to wait until they call again. Get some sleep sir; we'll wake you if the phone rings."

James nodded. He was exhausted, but he didn't know how he could sleep through the fear and worry.

***

"The operation was successful. We're keeping the boy sedated."

"Good. Have you packaged the part?"

"Yes. The note is included. We have destroyed the remaining portions; they won't be able to use what we send."

"The boy will never reach Heaven now, but he is a spawn of devils, so he wouldn't have reached it anyways. Send the package and prepare to call the parents once it has been received."

"It will be done."

***

The doorbell rang, startling James, his wife, and the two detectives as they tried to eat some breakfast. It was a very restless night of worry for the two parents, Marianne had been told about the ransom change.

James opened the door. "Delivery for James Wilson," said the courier, "Sign here."

"What is it?" James asked.

"I don't know sir; it was picked up from one of our courier drop points paid in full."

"I see," responded James as he signed for the package and thanked the courier, closing the door.

"Who was it?" Marianne asked.

"A courier with a package," replied James as he began to open it.

"Careful, there may be fingerprints we can use." Stewart cautioned.

James nodded as he cut the bindings and around the package with greater care. He opened the box inside and found a metal container that was cold to the touch. With it was a note which he opened.

Mr. Wilson,

Behold one of the prices for your mistake. We have taken your son's life as a man; you will find the proof in the metal container. That is his first life that we have taken. Future mistakes might result in other lives, such as a life of vision, if you do not show more caution.

Marianne collapsed crying, "My baby, my poor baby. They are monsters!"

"Don't open the container sir. Doctors have a lot of skill; it may be possible for them to recover what has been lost. Now it is best to keep this container frozen." Bolton said as he stopped James from opening the container.

Tears streaming down his face, James nodded, "I understand, I hope you are right. These people will pay for their monstrous acts." He gathered his sobbing wife into his arms and led her to the sitting room to try and comfort her.

The phone rang. "What?" James roughly demanded as he answered, his normal polite greeting forgotten under the stress of his emotions. His finger stabbed at the speaker button.

"You have gotten our package." It wasn't a question.

"You're a monster. Why have you done this to our son?"

"His many lives are paying for those lives of our people. Do not doubt that we will exact further payment if you fail." The phone line clicked.

Within a minute, Bolton's cell phone rang. "Bolton. You have him? Tail him carefully; we'll get the team in place." Bolton hung up.

James looked at the detective. "He made a mistake Mister Wilson, they used that phone again and one of our detectives is following the suspect. We'll get them."

***

Bolton and Stewart arrived outside the rundown apartment building. Their assistant was waiting with several uniformed men, keeping an additional watch on the building. "We found the van, I think. It's a dark brown, a little beaten up. We also know what apartment they're in," said the young assistant detective.

"Good," responded Stewart, "Let's get these bastards. Get everyone into position and seal off the exits."

***

The apartment door crashed open with a bang, surprising the four men sitting around the table playing cards. One of them jumped up and began running towards the bedrooms. Bolton fired a round at him, taking the man in the lower back. The remaining three raised their hands as additional police entered the apartment.

"We found the boy!" One of the officers shouted from a bedroom. "It looks like he's hurt pretty bad, there are bandages and he's out cold."

"Get the ambulance people up here. We've got to get the kid and this slime bag I shot to the hospital ASAP. Put these others into the holding van and get the forensics team up here. Partner, can you read them their rights?"

As the men were led away, Stewart went through the standard recital, passing the ambulance attendants in the hall.

Bolton called the James Wilson, "We have your son, he's alive and we're taking him to Grace Hospital. We'll meet you there."

Chapter 4: Decisions.

Grandma Wilson picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Hi mom, it's James. The police have found Aaron and he is at Grace Hospital."

"My goodness! Is he alright?" Grandma Wilson asked.

"Alright? I don't know if I can say that exactly, but he is alive. Mari and I are going to the hospital now, can you bring the kids? I'll explain everything once we hear from the police and the doctors."

"Okay dear, we're very relieved that they found him. We'll see you there." Grandma Wilson hung up the phone, "Children! Your brother has been found!"

"Is he okay, Grandma?" Susie asked.

"Your daddy didn't really say sweetheart. All he would tell me is that Aaron is at Grace Hospital and that he is alive. He said he would explain when we got there, so get your shoes on and we'll go."

***

James raced with Mari to the hospital as fast as he could. His mind was whirling with fear and concern for his young son and he could see similar concern in his wife's face as she clutched the metal box that neither wanted to open. Every now and then, a small sob would escape Mari as she thought of her son, but she was grateful for the strong and calming silence of her husband.

Arriving at Grace Hospital, James and Mari rushed into the Emergency Room and were greeted by the two detectives. "Good, you brought the box," mentioned Stewart, "the doctors have been waiting for this."

"Can we see our son?" Mari asked.

"I'm sorry ma'am," replied a woman's voice behind her, "he was brought in sedated and we're examining him to understand the extent of the harm that has been done. I'm Doctor Anne Sharpe; I've been looking after him since he arrived."

"Can you help him Doctor?" James asked.

"I hope so Mister Wilson," replied Dr. Sharpe. "We're depending a great deal on what we find in this container. I don't want to raise your hopes, but we have very good surgeons here and if it is possible, it will be done. However, it is important for you and your wife to give serious thoughts to what to do next if we are unable to repair this injury."

"I understand Doctor and thank you."

Dr. Sharpe smiled kindly at the two parents as she headed back to the examination room with the metal container. She felt badly for the two, but even more so for young Aaron. The way the damage looked didn't give her a lot of hope in the container and she was beginning to think that the parents were going to face some difficult choices.

***

"Mom!" Ken called as he entered the waiting area with his sister and grandparents. "How is Aaron? Have you heard anything?"

"Not yet honey," Marianne replied, "the doctors are still examining him."

"What's taking so long Mari?" Grandma Wilson asked.

"It's the nature of what they did to him," Marianne replied as she began to cry again. "They hurt him terribly. My poor, sweet, baby." Grandma Wilson gathered Marianne into her arms as James came back from the counter area.

"What did they tell you James?" Grandpa Wilson asked.

"Not much. The doctors are still working on him." James replied.

"What happened dad?" Ken asked.

James sighed. He dreaded telling his family this, but they were going to know soon enough. "The kidnappers told us that they had taken away his life as a man."

Grandma Wilson gasped, "Oh my God!" Ken and his grandfather went white as sheets.

"What does that mean dad?" Susie asked, before Ken could hush her.

"It means, sweetheart, that they hurt your brother very badly down there. The doctors are trying to help him." James informed his daughter quietly.

Before anyone else could ask questions, Dr. Sharpe came back out, "Mister and Missus Wilson, can I speak to you privately for a while." Her face didn't hold out a lot of hope for the Wilson family as James and Marianne followed her into a private room.

"Tell us Doctor, we have to know," James asked quietly.

"Its grave news sir, I have to be honest. The monsters that did this to your son were very careful to ensure that we would be helpless to repair their work. We tried, but too much was missing and we couldn't repair that."

"I... See..." James responded as Marianne began to cry once again. "What are our options?"

"We have three. The first is to do nothing other than to ensure basic urination function, but this will leave Aaron effectively sexless. The second is to try and attach a prosthetic from skin grafts, but it will never function sexually. The last is to make him a girl and give him some hope of a normal life."

"What?!?"

"I understand Mister Wilson, believe me, but the third option is really the best. The other two options leave him with no future possibility of intimacy and that may cause even more damage to him in the long run. As a woman, he would at least have options for intimacy even if it was with another woman. We have saved a large number of nerves and that will allow him to still experience pleasure."

"I can't think... I don't know... What does Aaron say?"

"I don't want to pressure your decision Mister Wilson, Aaron is still not awake. The sedation that he was under has worn off, but the stress to his body and his young mind has put him in a coma. His vital signs are strong and we have every reason to believe that he will come out of it in a few days or a week, but we don't have that much time. If we are to make use of the nerve cells, we will need to act almost immediately."

"Can we have a few minutes?" James asked, "Marianne and I need to discuss this."

"The specialist is on his way, and he will be here in about fifteen minutes. Once he is here, he will need to know your decision. Time is of the essence."

"I understand, we will let you know by then."

Dr. Sharpe quietly left the two alone.

***

"What do we do James? He's my darling little boy, I can't lose him!" Marianne cried.

"Oh my love, I wish I knew the right answer," James tried to comfort her. "We need to do what is best for Aaron. We need to give him a chance at recovering his life, his hopes."

"How would making him a girl do that?" Marianne asked, "His hopes are shattered with this."

"I don't know Mari, but I fear a lifetime without intimate love for him if we don't agree to this. Is that better or worse? I don't know. I wish Aaron could answer this question. I feel like I'm betraying him with that answer."

Marianne pulled herself upright as if she had reached a decision. "My beautiful son is treasure to me. It's not a result of his outer skin; it's a result of his generous heart and his warm smile. That he would not be able to share himself deeply with another would be a great loss to him and to others. We have to give him a chance to find a new path to happiness. The Doctor is right."

James kissed his wife tenderly. He knew she was right, Aaron was a strong, generous, boy who was open and honest with his love and affection. To leave him without a chance or a slim one at best, of having that reciprocated as an adult would be almost criminal.

Together, James and Marianne rose to give their answer to the Doctor.

Chapter 5: Audra.

James and Marianne had sent their other two children home with their grandparents. The surgery was going to take a long time and there wasn't much point in everybody staying at the hospital. Of course, there was no way that either of them could leave, they wanted to be there.

The sun was just coming up when Dr. David Caine, the specialist who was working on Aaron came into the waiting area. He could see that the two parents had stayed awake most of the night, they looked exhausted and their eyes were rimmed with red. "Good morning folks. The operation was successful."

"How is he?" James asked.

"Aaron is fine, though the coma is still hanging on. The signs are good though, so we are hopeful that it will be a short one. An important aspect of recovery is for both of you as well is that you must start thinking and speaking of Aaron in the feminine form. She will be struggling with her new identity, with the conflicts inside her, and she will need help and reinforcement. I wish I could be easier on you with this, but it is critical for her and it is equally as critical for you."

James nodded as Marianne spoke quietly, "We will need a new name for her."

Dr. Caine smiled gently at them, "You can see Aaron now, and your voices might help to bring her out of the coma."

***

James had been researching names and they had finally found two that they felt suited their child. The first name they chose was Audra, meaning "noble strength." The second name was Jennifer, meaning "fair spirit." For them, it summed up their child and the hopes they had for her future. Audra Jennifer Wilson was the name now around her wrist and beside her door.

It had been several days since the surgery and Audra was still not out of her coma. Both parents spent hours every day talking to their child, trying to wake her. They talked, they pleaded, they ordered, they cajoled, but so far without avail. Today, Marianne sat beside her new daughter gently washing her face with a soothing stroke. She had often done this for Aaron when he was sick, so she had hopes that it would help Audra now.

"Mommy?"

James sat bolt upright in the chair where he was reading the newspaper as Marianne leaned forward and said, "Yes sweetheart?"

"I hurt mommy."

"I know sweetheart, I know, but you're awake now and you will get better."

"Okay mommy." Audra murmured as she fell back to sleep, real sleep this time and not the coma that had claimed these last few days.

James looked at his wife with tears in his eyes as he sprinted to the nursing station, but he was also smiling. "She's awake!" As a cheer went up from the nursing station and Dr. Sharpe was paged. James went back to Audra's room and hugged his wife who was still stroking her child's brow.

***

It was late at night when Audra awoke again. Her parents had been sent home by the doctor to get some rest and to tell their family the good news.

"Mommy?"

The lack of answer scared her for a moment until she realized that it was late and that she was in the hospital. She didn't feel much pain, she felt mostly numb from the waist down, but she didn't really understand why.

"I see you're awake angel," came a soft voice from the doorway as one of the night nurses entered. "Your mommy and daddy went home for awhile, to get some sleep. They'll be back this morning to see you."

"Oh. Thank you, ma'am."

The nurse laughed, "Call me Nurse Williams sweetie, 'ma'am' makes me feel so old. Better yet, why don't you call me Angie?"

"Okay Angie. I'm Aaron." Audra replied as she stuck out her hand.

"I know sweetie," Angie smiled, "would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, please." Angie held up a glass with a straw so that Audra could drink.

"Slowly sweetie, you haven't had much in your stomach for quite a few days."

"Days? What happened to me? The last thing I remember is these voices telling me that I would have to pay the price because my parents made a mistake."

"You've been asleep for days, angel, you had us worried."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh no, don't apologize. Very evil men did evil things to you. You don't have to apologize to anyone for that. Remember angel, you didn't do anything wrong and you don't need to apologize for it."

"What did they do to me, Angie?"

"I can't tell you that, angel; your parents will do that. It wouldn't be right for me to tell you."

"Okay, Angie, I'm tired, I think I'll sleep some more."

"Sleep well, little one." Angie responded as she stroked the hair from Audra's eyes.

***

James and Marianne felt a lot better in the morning as they entered the hospital. While they both dreaded telling Audra what had happened, they both felt better knowing she was awake.

"Good morning, folks! I have some more good news for you." Angie told them as they approached the nursing station.

"We could use good news, Angie!"

"Audra woke up last night and we chatted for a bit. She seems quite bright and is a most delightful child. You may have to fight all the nurses to take her away from us if this morning is any judge," Angie smiled at them.

Marianne smiled back gratefully. "Is she awake now?"

"Yes, and we've called for Doctor Coulson to come down to help you."

"Doctor Coulson?"

"That would be me," a soft, pleasant voice from behind said, "Sheila Coulson at your service." The Wilson's turned to see the smiling face of an attractive younger woman. She had an almost pixie look of irrepressible humor with deep compassion in her eyes. "I'm her to help both of you and Audra through what will be a trying experience. From what the nurses have told me, you have named her well. In one morning, she has charmed all of them with her grace and strength. This will be difficult, but I believe that her strong character will see her through. Are you ready?"

"Thank you, doctor," James said after that breathless rush.

"Sheila, please. We'll be spending quite a bit of time together and I simply hate formalities."

"Sheila, then. I guess we're as ready as we'll ever be. I'm James and this is my wife, Marianne."

"Mari, for short," smiled Marianne in greeting.

"Do you want me to explain what has happened or would one of you prefer to do it?" Sheila asked.

"I'll do it," James responded.

Sheila smiled, "That's a wise choice. I'll observe and if I see a bad reaction, I can sedate her quickly. Don't be alarmed if that happens, denial and anger are definite stages that she will experience."

***

"Mommy! Daddy!" Audra cried as her parents entered the room. Both rushed over to her and hugged her gently. "I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to worry you."

"Don't apologize, sweetheart, you're not to blame," Marianne told her.

"How do you feel, slugger?" James asked.

"I hurt a bit, daddy, down there, but I guess I feel okay. Nobody will tell me what happened. What happened daddy?"

James felt the tears well up in his eyes as he sat on the bed beside his new daughter. Brushing them away, he sighed deeply and took Audra's hands in his own. "This is going to be very hard for you and I want you to understand that your mother and I love you very much. We love you as much as we ever did and that love was already boundless."

Audra look frightened at those words, "Am I going to die, daddy?"

James breath caught in his throat, "No, slugger, you aren't, though you might sometimes wish you had. You have to be strong. You have to have courage to accept and to grow. Can you promise me that you'll try?"

"Yes, daddy, I'll try."

James smiled at her gently, "Those men that kidnapped you did a very bad thing to you. They did this because we tried to find you and help you. They are evil men and they have been caught and will be punished. However, what they did to you couldn't be repaired, all the doctors tried."

"What did they do daddy? Oh no, it's down there!" Audra cried out and tried to reach down.

James held her close, "Yes, it's down there. We tried, the doctors tried, but there wasn't anything we could do." He could feel Audra sobbing almost noiselessly into his chest as he held her. "We couldn't leave you like that. We had to make a decision for you; you were in a coma and couldn't do it for yourself. Oh, my darling, sweet, child, we had to make you into a girl."

Audra screamed, "No! No! No!" Her head shook wildly, her denial echoed through the corridors of the hospital. Sheila quickly stepped in and injected a sedative into Audra. As James gently laid her back down, her body continued shaking and her head still turned back and forth in denial. Mercifully, the sedative put her to sleep.

James and Marianne held each other and cried.

***

Angie heard Audra's scream of denial as she was preparing to depart her shift. She sat back down; her eyes tearing at the pain that sweet child must have been feeling.

"Are you okay Angie?" Marie Jacobs, the day nurse who was taking over for her.

"They told her. Oh that poor, sweet, child."

"Go home and sleep, Angie. I can see she has already stolen your heart. Sleep and come back to work strong for her. She'll need that."

"Thanks, Marie."

***

Sheila sat with James and Marianne in the room. "I'm sorry I had to put her to sleep, she was going in to hysterics."

"It's okay, Sheila, I don't think I could have taken that otherwise," James smiled wanly.

Sheila accepted the smile, "We need to discuss something important."

"What's that?"

"You need to understand the stages she is going to face before she wakes up again. For her, Aaron has died, and she will face that in five general stages."

"What are the stages?" Marianne asked.

"The first stage is denial. She will attempt to deny that it has happened and she'll be able to maintain that until she sees for herself. Next is anger. She'll be angry at you, at the doctor, and at herself. The third stage is bargaining. At this point she will be desperate to regain herself and she will bargain with whomever she thinks can do that. The fourth stage is depression. We need to be very careful here and watch her closely. It is critical that she pass this stage to the final stage of acceptance. It is our goal to get her there in one piece."

"How will we know when she reaches a stage?" Marianne asked.

"It's usually quite obvious, Mari, especially anger and depression. Bargaining doesn't last too long because it's fruitless and often people discover that quickly. Some or most of these stages can happen quite quickly and they may happen here. The nurses know what to watch for and will help when neither of us is here."

"How much longer will she be asleep?"

"A few more hours, rest is good for her right now. It will help to heal both her mind and her body."

"Is there anything more we can do right now?" James asked.

"Well, Audra will be here for a few more weeks at least, but you need to prepare for her to come home. What will be truly hard for her is that the nature of her injuries will almost certainly require her to wear dresses for the next four to six weeks, so you need to be able to show her that being a girl isn't a bad thing, that there are rewards to it. Don't try to strip away her life as Aaron, but try to introduce the feminine and encourage her with rewards. Above all, don't punish her for behaving like a boy, that will cause her to rebel, but don't reward her for the masculine. It's positive reinforcement, not negative that you want to use."

Chapter 6: Stages.

Audra awoke several hours later with her mother sitting quietly beside her. Her mind was still reeling from the revelation her father made earlier in the morning. She kept repeating "no" in her mind, over and over again.

"Mommy?"

"I'm here sweetheart," Marianne replied, "Are you okay?"

"Tell me it isn't true, mommy? Please! Mommy..." Audra cried softly.

"Oh, my darling baby, I wish I could tell you that. You don't know how much I wish I could tell you that." Marianne responded gathering her daughter into her arms.

Audra cried softly as she fell asleep again.

***

Ken and Susie finally arrived home after the extended stay with their grandparents. Both were a little frustrated at being kept away from their brother and nobody would tell them anything. Today, finally, their parents were going to tell them what had happened and let them visit Aaron at the hospital.

"Mom, Dad, we're home!" Ken shouted as they entered.

"We're in the front parlor son," James called, "We need to have a family talk."

Entering the room, both Ken and Susie could see the strain on their parents faces. Obviously the lack of sleep, coupled with worry for Aaron had left them exhausted. "How's Aaron? Is he coming home soon?" Ken asked.

"Sit down, kids, this is really important." James told them quietly. Both sat quickly, they could see that their parents had something very serious to tell them. "I really don't know how to say this; it's very hard for us. Do you remember what I told you about the injury he received?"

"Yes, Dad." Ken responded as Susie nodded.

"The doctors tried very hard to help him, but they couldn't. We didn't tell you that night, but we talked to the doctors and finally agreed that the best thing for Aaron was to make him into a girl."

"Oh my God! Are you serious?" Ken exclaimed.

"Very. This is not something I would joke about, Ken, you should know that."

Susie looked stunned, "Aaron is going to be my sister?"

"Yes, sweetie, she will be. You have to help her; she hasn't grown up with this." Marianne told her daughter.

"She? Her?" Ken asked.

"Yes." James said firmly, "She and her. You have to get used to it and you had better start now. Your sister is Audra Jennifer and you will love and treat her like you always have."

"No sweat, Dad, I didn't mean it that way. I think my brain has just gone numb."

"I know the feeling, son, believe me I know the feeling."

"When can I see my new sister, daddy?" Susie asked.

James smiled at her, "Today. Audra should have come out of sedation by now."

"Sedation?" Ken questioned.

"Not surprisingly, Audra lost it when I told her what happened. The doctor had to sedate her to keep her from going into hysterics. She woke up a while ago and talked a bit with your mother before falling asleep again. She's in denial now, but the doctors don't believe that it will last very long. After that, I expect she'll be very angry, and probably mostly at me."

"At you?"

"Yes, at me. Those monsters did this to her, but all she really understands right now is that I told the doctors to make her into a girl. It will take a while for her to see past that."

***

"Hey brat, how's it going?"

Audra looked up as her brother and sister walked into the room. "Ken! I'm so glad to see you. You too, Susie, I didn't mean just Ken."

Susie ran up and hugged Audra, she was already crying. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

"I'll be better when everyone stops playing games with me," Audra responded while hugging her sister back.

"Games?" Ken asked.

"Yeah, they keep telling me I'm a girl. Can you figure that?"

Ken looked at his new sister sadly, but decided it was better to drop it. Obviously, Audra didn't want to hear the truth right now and he gave Susie a warning shake of his head as she was about to respond.

"So, I hear you've been lazing about watching TV and reading magazines all day." Ken commented.

Audra laughed, "Hey, its summer vacation you know!"

"When do you get out?" Susie asked.

"Soon, I think. The doctor thought in a couple of weeks. I want to go home, but they're trying to make sure everything is okay."

"Were you scared, you know, when..." Susie whispered.

Audra shuddered, remembering the darkness and the voices. She nodded at Susie, afraid to speak for a moment.

***

Audra was awake when Angie came into the room later that night to change the dressings on the wound. "Well, hello, angel! How are you feeling?"

"Hi Angie! I'm okay."

"I'm just here to change your dressings and see if you need anything. Do you want me to screen the dressing change?"

"I'd like to watch, Angie. May I?"

"You can, angel, but I'll warn you that it may upset you. Can you be brave for me?"

Audra nodded her head. She had been waiting for this, the proof she needed that everybody was fibbing to her. She didn't really understand why everybody would do that, but she just couldn't believe that you could make somebody in to a girl.

"Okay angel, lie back a bit and lift your knees. This may sting a bit, but I'll try to go as gently as I can."

Audra complied with the instructions, feeling very strange as she did so. It didn't seem normal as she watched Angie carefully removing the dressings. It stung a bit, but it wasn't that bad, she had felt worse before. As the last dressing was removed, Audra looked over and down at herself and bit her lip. Outwardly, she tried to look calm, but inside her mind was screaming at her, "It's gone! It's gone!"

Angie sensed Audra tensing at her first sight of her new anatomy. She knew this was a risk, but Dr. Coulson felt it important for Audra to see this when she was ready to ask. Angie's heart was breaking at the obvious mental pain that the girl tried to hide from her, an effort that stemmed from trying to be brave as she promised. Pretending not to notice Audra's reaction, Angie quickly changed the dressing and smoothed the hospital gown back over Audra's knees.

"You were very brave, angel, I'm proud of you. Do you need anything or did you want to sleep?"

"I'd like to sleep, Angie. Thank you."

"Okay angel. Sleep well." Angie responded as she closed the room door behind her. She hurried to call Dr. Coulson.

***

In the darkness, Audra seethed anger at her father. Her mind screamed at her, "He made me into a girl. He must have hated me as a boy because I was small. Why else would he make me a girl?" Over and over again these questions pounded through Audra as she tried to come to grips with what happened. Hot, angry tears streamed down the sides of her face.

Audra's tears were interrupted by the opening of the door and Dr. Coulson walking in. "Hello, Audra, Angie thought that you might need someone to talk to."

"My name isn't Audra, its Aaron."

"I see. Do you hate Audra that much?"

"What?" Audra asked, surprised by the question.

"Do you hate Audra that much?"

"Audra doesn't exist."

"Ah, but she does. Audra is you and you are Audra. Why is that bad?"

"I'm a boy! Not a girl!"

"What's wrong with girls?"

"Nothing."

"Then why would being one be so bad?"

"I don't know, it just is!" Audra shouted, frustrated at the questions. "I hate him!"

"Hate who? Aaron?"

"My dad!"

"Why?"

"He did this to me! He made me a girl, but I'm not a girl!" Audra cried.

"Why would he do that?"

"Because I'm small, not like Ken, and people say I'm cute like a girl."

"You're wrong Audra. I think you need to learn something here. Evil men kidnapped you. They brutally and cruelly tore something away from you because they believed it would destroy you. Your father made his decision because he wanted you to win. Your father believed you were stronger than they. Do you know why he called you 'Audra' after?"

Audra shook her head.

"It means 'noble strength' and he believed that it was a name that demonstrated who you are. Your father loves you beyond all imagining. He didn't do this because he hated who you were. He did this because he loved you and trusted you to succeed."

Audra began crying in deep, wracking sobs as Dr. Coulson's words sunk through the anger and denial that she had been keeping. She was a bright child, she grasped quickly that the doctor had told her the truth.

Audra's parents take their new little girl home to meet the family.

Audra: A New Life

by Joanne Foxcourt

Part 2 - Going Home

All the usual copyright and "viewing if you're legal" rules apply. There is no sex in this story, the character is far too young, but there is implied violence. It is a work of fiction and all the characters are fictional, any similarities to the living are chance.

Chapter 7: Home.

The morning after Dr. Coulson had seen her, Audra's parents came by. "Hi sweetheart," Marianne said, "how are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm okay mommy. I saw."

"You saw, sweetie?" Marianne asked.

"I saw down there. It's true isn't it?"

"It is, sweetie. I'm so sorry."

Audra looked at her father. She could see the pain in his eyes and in his face as he looked back at her. At that moment, she was absolutely sure that Dr. Coulson was right.

"Oh daddy, I'm so sorry!" Audra cried.

James rushed over to her. "Why are you sorry angel?"

"I blamed you, daddy. I thought that you didn't want Aaron, that you made me a girl because Aaron wasn't much of a boy."

James felt the tears trickle down his face hearing that. "Audra, I love you. I loved you as Aaron and I love you as Audra. This was the hardest decision I have ever made. You never disappointed me as my son, you made me proud. You will make me proud as my daughter. What is on the outside matters very little."

"I prayed."

"You prayed?" Marianne asked, surprised.

"I asked God to make me become a boy again. I even promised to be good, to do my homework, and be nice to my sister. It didn't work, did it?"

Marianne held her, "No sweetheart, it didn't, but God will still love you like we do."

***

"Hiya cupcake! I have news!" Marie, the day nurse, chirped as she entered Audra's room. Marie had picked 'cupcake' as her pet name for Audra since Angie had stolen 'angel' before she had a chance. There was almost a competition between the nurses on the floor over who got what pet name for Audra.

"News?"

"You betcha, great news it is. You get to go home today!"

"Home? Today?" Audra suddenly panicked.

"What's the matter? Isn't that good?"

"It is. It isn't."

Marie laughed, "Well, what is it cupcake?"

"All my friends, everyone, they'll know."

"Know what?"

"That I'm a boy pretending to be a girl."

"Audra, sweetie, you aren't pretending, you are a girl. You are a beautiful, friendly, girl. Every doctor and nurse in this hospital loves you to death. Anybody who rejects you is refusing to allow sunshine into their lives."

Audra blushed at the compliment. "I'm scared."

"We know, cupcake. Angie and I are going to help your mother get you ready. You have nothing to fear, trust me. Has Dr. Sharpe been by to see you?"

Audra nodded.

"Did she tell you about the things you need to do?"

"Do I really have to wear a dress?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. It's not that bad though, I promise. Millions of women wear them every day and we haven't died from shame over it! Did she tell you about the stents?"

Audra blushed and nodded.

"It's important cupcake. I know it can be embarrassing, but you need to look after yourself that way. You have to be brave. You are brave, right?"

"I'll be brave, Marie."

"I know you will, Audra, you are the bravest person I have ever met."

***

"Susie!"

"Yes, mom?" Susie answered.

"Time to go and bring Audra home from the hospital."

"Isn't daddy going?"

"No, he and Ken are preparing Audra's room with the final touches and planning a special dinner."

"They're cooking?" Susie asked with surprise.

Marianne laughed, "No, we're going out. Audra doesn't know yet."

"Is that a good idea? I mean, she is just getting out of the hospital and she's not used to being a girl yet."

"I asked your father that same question. Audra loves that restaurant and your father has spoken to the owner. He wants her to feel special tonight and he thinks that going to her favorite place will help."

***

"Time to get ready Audra, your mom and sister will be here soon."

"Angie, you came!"

"Of course, angel, I have to see my favorite girl off to home don't I?"

Audra smiled and gave Angie a hug.

"Okay angel, we need to get you cleaned up a bit. Your mom is bringing some clothes, but you, my dear, are in dire need of a shower. The bandages came off yesterday, so there is no reason you can't clean yourself."

Audra giggled at Angie. "Okay, okay, I'll shower."

"Hey, and use the shampoo and conditioner in there!" Angie called at Audra's retreating form.

"What are those?" Audra giggled at her as she scurried into the shower.

As Audra showered, Angie gathered up the many cards and gifts the child had received over the weeks she had spent in the hospital. It was obvious that Audra was very well loved by those around her and it was just as obvious to Angie that Audra prayed every night trying to become a boy again.

As Angie finished cleaning up, Audra's mother and sister came into the room with Marie. "Hi Mari, Audra is showering, but she should be out soon."

Marianne smiled at the nurse; she knew that Angie and Marie had been rocks for Audra. She had already sent letters with high praise to the hospital administration for the care and concern that these two had shown her daughter. Just then, Audra stepped out from the bathroom, her towel wrapped around her waist like a boy.

"Mommy!"

"Audra, sweetie, Susie and I are here to take you home."

"I know mommy, I'm glad to be going home. I'll miss Angie and Marie though."

Marianne laughed, "I'm sure they'll miss you too. We brought some clothes, though I guess you won't be happy with them."

"I already know that I have to wear a dress."

Susie nudged Audra, "Hey sis, you know that your towel is supposed to be higher, huh?"

"Susie!" Marianne admonished, but Angie shook her head at her. Angie obviously felt that this exchange could be beneficial.

"What do you mean Susie?" Audra asked.

"Well, you're a girl now, and girls tuck their towels under their armpits so that boys can't see their chest."

"But my chest doesn't look any different."

"That's because you're still young. When you get older, it'll look like mommy's and all the boys will want to see it."

"So?"

"Silly goose, you don't want ALL the boys to see it!"

"Oh!" Audra exclaimed as she tugged the towel over her chest.

The adults in the room looked at each other and smiled. They were all thinking that this was a breakthrough in helping to get Audra to think like a girl.

Marianne cleared her throat. "It's time to get ready, Audra." She held out a pair of simple cotton panties for Audra to step into. Audra dropped her towel and Marianne saw, for the first time, the work that had been done on Audra. Obviously everything was still healing, but Marianne could see that the surgeon had done superb work, that Audra would be indistinguishable from other girls.

Audra sighed as she stepped in to the first item of girl's clothing she had ever worn. She had to admit, they were comfortable, though it looked strange not to see the tiny bulge in the front she usually made. "What is this puffy thing in my underwear?"

"It's a pad sweetie. You're still healing and you might bleed a bit for a while. The pad will catch that and keep you from ruining your clothing." Marianne replied.

"Oh."

Marianne held up a simple cotton dress. It was light blue with very little lace or trim around it. She wanted to find a simple dress, one that wasn't overly feminine, and this one seemed as basic as it could get.

Audra stared at the dress for a few seconds. This was a big step, wearing it was like a final admission that she had become a girl. Remembering her promise to Marie, Audra bravely raised her arms so that her mother could lower the dress over her. Tugging the dress into place, Marianne told Audra to hop onto the bed. From there, she placed some white ankle socks on her feet and buckled on a pair of black shoes. "Let's tie your hair back into a ponytail and then we'll be all set." Marianne told her as she combed Audra's hair back and tied it high on her head with a light blue scrunchie.

"Goodness, angel, you're a living doll!" Angie exclaimed.

"That she is." Marie agreed, "Shall we unveil the new Audra for the mirror?"

Reluctantly Audra climbed down from the bed and allowed herself to be led to the mirror. Seeing her reflection for the first time, Audra gasped in surprise. Before her was a girl, a cute girl, definitely a girl. She fainted.

***

Audra groaned as she woke up. She opened her eyes to see the worried look of three adult faces above her. "What happened?" Audra asked.

"You fainted, angel." Angie replied.

"I fainted?"

Marianne laughed, "Yes, sweetie, you did. I think the shock of seeing how pretty you really are did it. Are you okay now?"

Audra studied herself in the mirror for a few seconds. The girl in the reflection was pretty. She had long, light brown hair, clear blue eyes, and a tiny button nose. In her simple blue dress, ankle socks, and black Mary Janes, the girl in the mirror was a picture of youthful innocence. "I'm okay, mommy, I was just surprised."

"Well, sweetie, if you're feeling better, we should be going home. Daddy has a surprise for you and then we're going to go out for your favorite food!" Marianne said.

Audra gulped, "Out for food? But everyone will know."

"Know? Yes, they will know that Daddy and I have the two prettiest daughters in the whole city."

"You have nothing to fear Audra, just smile at people and they will fall in love with you right away. You have no reason to feel shame or concern." Angie told her as well.

Marie pushed a wheelchair into the room. "Hospital regulations, one free exit ride to a customer!" Audra climbed on to the chair and Marie began wheeling her down the hallway to the nursing station, everyone else trailing.

At the nursing station, a crowd of nurses and doctors had already gathered. Angie knelt in front of the wheelchair, "Angel, in the time you have been here you have made a real impression on all of us. Your bravery and sunny smile have brightened our days and nights. We are all happy that you are going home and sad that you are leaving us. To mark this special day, all of us have a gift for you." With that, Angie brought out a gold necklace with an angel charm. "The eyes of the angel are made of amethyst which brings courage to the wearer. On the back is an inscription. Do you want me to read it?"

Audra nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"It says: For our Angel of Grace Hospital."

Audra felt the tears leak from her eyes as Angie clasped the necklace around her neck while everyone at the nursing station clapped. "Thank you, Angie and everyone. You have all been so nice to me and I will miss you."

Marie touched her head from behind the wheelchair. "You'll be back to visit, cupcake, so we'll see you again."

Audra held the angel on the necklace as Marie wheeled her out to the car.

***

"Okay Ken, they're on their way. Is everything ready?" James asked.

"You bet, Dad." Ken replied as he surveyed the changes they had made to Audra's bedroom. They wanted to be very careful not to overdo the feminine, but they also wanted to mute the masculine a bit. The walls were repainted a baby blue, the original bed was replaced by a four-poster bed done in white and covered in baby blue comforter with light pink trim. A make-up table, though without any make-up yet, was placed in one of the corners and a stand-up mirror was placed near the door. All of the new stuffed animals that had been sent to the house instead of the hospital were placed on the bed. The boy's clothing was removed and replaced with girl's clothing. Heeding the warning from Sheila Coulson, James had made sure that Audra's baseball posters, toys, and other mementos of Audra's past were kept intact and in the room.

The doorbell rang. "Go get that Ken, it's your grandparents." James had given the house staff time off, with pay, since Audra had been kidnapped. The staff would be returning tomorrow, tonight was for family.

Ken trotted down to the front door and opened it. "Grandma and Grandpa Jones! I didn't expect you!" Ken smiled with pleasure. He seldom saw his maternal grandparents since they lived quite a distance away, but he guessed that he should have expected them to be here for Audra's homecoming.

Grandma Jones gave him a hug and kiss as she entered. "How's my lad doing?" She asked.

"I'm doing fine, Grandma," he replied as he shook hands with his grandfather.

"You're looking good and fit Ken, how's the summer been?" Grandpa Jones asked.

"Stressful, Grandpa, very stressful since Audra was hurt."

"You blame yourself, don't you?"

"Sometimes I do. I'm her big brother, I was his big brother and I should have looked after Aaron. Because I failed to do that, Aaron has become Audra."

"Ken, you're too hard on yourself. You couldn't have prevented this. You're a good man, Ken, don't let yourself forget it. Just look after Audra like you do Susie, she'll need that from you."

"I know Grandpa; my mind tells me that, my heart often tells me different. I'll be watching over Audra, I won't make that mistake again."

Grandma Jones gave him another hug as the doorbell rang again. Ken opened the door for Grandma and Grandpa Wilson. "Lucy and Frank, it's so good to see you again!" Grandma Wilson exclaimed. That was followed by general greetings with hugs and handshakes all around as James came downstairs.

***

For the drive home, Marianne had placed the two girls in the back seat which gave Susie a chance to provide more 'wisdom' to her new sister. "Okay Audra, time for another lesson in girlhood." Susie told her.

"Another lesson?" Audra asked.

"Well, two actually and the first is getting in and out of a car in a dress."

"Huh? What's so special about that?"

"You are a goose! You can't just climb into a car in a dress; you'll flash everyone around you. You have to sit on the edge of the seat and then swivel your legs in."

Audra looked abashed, "Oh. I didn't know."

"S'okay sis, that's why it's a lesson," Susie told her. "The second is that you have to sit with your legs together. Girls don't sit like they need to scratch."

Audra giggled.

Marianne smiled to herself. Obviously Susie was going to be a big help getting Audra acclimatized to being a girl. The two were always pretty close, especially for a brother and sister, but this will probably bring them even closer together.

***

Ken was on window watch when his mother's car came down the driveway. "They're coming!" He shouted as he rushed out the door to meet them. He waved at Audra in the car and she waved back at him, smiling. As the car came to a stop, he ran up and opened the car door for her.

Audra, conscious of the lesson her older sister had just given her, swiveled her legs out of the car and allowed Ken to help her stand. As soon as she stood, Ken swept her into a big bear hug and he whispered in her ear, "Welcome home, brat, I've missed you terribly."

Audra leaned back in her brother's arms and noticed the trickle of tears in his eyes. Carefully, she wiped them away with her hands and kissed him on the cheek. "I missed you too, bro."

Ken carried her into the house, his arms around her protectively, to be greeted by "Surprise!" Her father and grandparents rushed to greet her. Within seconds, she was being surrounded and smothered with affection from everyone.

Grandpa Jones picked her up, "My you look just like your Grandma did when she was your age, as cute as a button and as pretty as a butterfly."

Audra giggled as his whiskers tickled her face. "I love you Grandpa, I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too, sweetheart. Your Grandma and I wouldn't have missed this for the world."

James swept his new daughter from her grandfather, "Are you ready for your surprise, slugger?"

"Born ready, Daddy." Audra laughed.

James carried his daughter up to her room. "Ken and I worked overtime on this, so we both hope you like it."

Ken flung open the door with a flourish. "Tada!"

James set Audra down so she could walk into her new room. She walked to the center of the room and turned slowly, her face was unreadable as everyone held their breath awaiting her reaction. Suddenly, Audra burst out crying and ran over to her father, "Oh Daddy, I was so afraid!"

Surprised, James picked her up, "Afraid? Afraid of what?"

"That everything I had would be gone!"

"Oh no, sweetheart, we couldn't do that to you. You're Audra now, but you are also Aaron and it wouldn't be right to take that away. We wanted the room to reflect who you are now. Do you like it?"

"I love it Daddy, thank you."

Chapter 8: Release.

Audra's favorite restaurant was Franco's, a Tex-Mex restaurant that specialized in the hot and spicy. Audra was a bit addicted to spicy foods and loved to badger her father into dinner there. With all of the people coming out to celebrate Audra's first night at home, they had to take several vehicles and Audra rode with Grandma and Grandpa Jones since she saw them so infrequently.

"How are you feeling, Audra?" Grandpa Jones asked.

"I'm okay, Grandpa."

"Just okay?"

"It's hard, Grandpa, nothing is the same anymore."

"I understand sweetheart, but it won't be that bad."

"I hope so Grandpa. What will my friends think?"

"If they're real friends, they'll accept you as you are. If they don't, then they weren't real friends and you're better off without them. A real friend is one that you can count on when the chips are down."

"I guess the chips are down."

Grandma Jones smiled back at Audra, "I think you're wrong, sweetheart. It feels that way now, but you are beautiful, you have a wonderfully warm personality, and you have a caring family. Your Daddy told me that the doctors and nurses just loved you."

Audra fingered the angel on her necklace. "I guess so Grandma, I haven't seen Mike yet."

Susie, who was riding with them, poked Audra, "Being a girl is a lot of fun. You'll see! Shopping, clothes, makeup, sleepovers, boys, it's the best!"

"Boys?!?" Audra looked shocked.

"What's wrong with boys?" Susie asked.

"I can't date boys."

"Why not? You're a girl now."

"I can't! I just can't!" Audra tried to explain almost frantically.

Grandma Jones interrupted, "It's too soon anyways. Don't fret Audra; you don't have to date boys if you don't want to."

Audra looked relieved.

***

"Wilson, party of 9." James told the Maitre d'.

"Right this way Sir, Mister Franco has reserved a special place for you tonight." He responded as he led the party to a festively decorated table. The Maitre d' looked at Audra, "You must be the guest of honor tonight, I was told to watch for a beautiful girl such as yourself. Please, sit here at the place of honor." He pulled out her chair.

Audra blushed as she sat, but her mind was whirling. What did they know? Did Mister Franco know? He must. What will he think? Audra thanked the Maitre d' for his courtesy.

"Ah, such a delightfully polite child. It was my pleasure." He smiled at her.

"Mister Wilson! Welcome, welcome back to Franco's!" Came the booming voice of Mr. Franco, the owner. "You must introduce me to this fine group of people!"

James laughed, "Henry, you know them all!"

"But, I don't know this delightful looking lass! She is a treasure, no?" He said as he turned to Audra.

James smiled, "Allow me to introduce my daughter, Audra."

Mr. Franco gently kissed her hand. "My dear Audra, you grace my establishment with your beauty. Be welcome here."

Audra giggled as she blushed. "Mister Franco, you already know me!"

"My dear child, I do know you and I don't all at the same time, but I will learn in time. I'm so pleased to meet the new you and I want you to know that you are still my favorite customer. One who shares, with me, the love of spice will always be a treasure in my heart."

"Thank you Mister Franco, I'm glad to be back." Audra told him with another blush.

Mr. Franco smiled at her and turned to the waiter, "This is my treat. Whatever they wish, bring it to them, for tonight is a celebration of life!"

James tried to protest.

"Ah, no my friend, I too have missed Audra and her enjoyment of my food. Let this be my gift to her for her courage and her beauty. That she is here for her recovery and her homecoming is special to me."

James acquiesced, "How can I deny such eloquence!"

"Hush, you'll make me blush! I'm but a simple cook."

James laughed.

***

The food was wonderful. Audra ordered her usual chili and taco platter, extra spicy and began to dig in as she always did. Susie nudged her. "Huh?" Audra asked, surprised.

Susie whispered, "You're eating like a boy."

"So?"

"Girls take smaller bites; eating like a starving dog doesn't look ladylike."

"Oh."

"And don't say 'huh', polite ladies say 'yes'."

"This is getting complicated!" Audra grumped at her sister, but she slowed down all the same.

Marianne smiled as she overheard the most recent exchange, realizing that she would have to coach Susie in how to reinforce the feminine traits without being too pushy about it. So far Susie was doing a really good job, but Audra was off-balance and she would push back at some point. The encouragement would have to be more subtle.

***

As adults had a tendency to do, they began to forget about the children at the table as conversation drifted to other topics. It was inevitable, perhaps, that somebody would bring up the state of the kidnappers. Audra stopped eating at that point, trying to hear what her father had to say.

"One of the kidnappers was wounded during the rescue," James was explaining, "so he was taken to the hospital. They brought the others in to question them and they had started to get some information when one of the rookies let it slip that their wounded partner had died on the way to the hospital."

"Good." Ken grunted.

"Well, not so good, as it turned out. When the others heard this, they apparently made some sort of grinding motion with their teeth and then collapsed. Apparently, they all had cyanide capsules inside a fake tooth and committed suicide. All the police were able to determine is that these were part of some fundraising cell of a terrorist group."

Audra felt a profound sense of relief wash through her at this information. She had been harboring a hidden sense of fear that the kidnappers would come looking to hurt even more, maybe even kill her. Tears of relief began to course down her cheeks.

"It appears that this was the first time they had tried this..." James was explaining before he noticed the look on Audra's face, "What's the matter, slugger?"

"I'm safe?" Audra asked tentatively.

James got up from the table and picked her up into his arms, holding her. "You're safe, sweetheart; they will never hurt you again."

Audra clung to her father, crying the strong tears from release of her terror at the kidnappers. James gently stroked her back as her body shuddered at the strength of her release.

Chapter 9: First Night Home.

Marianne brought Audra up to her newly decorated room. "Okay sweetie, we have to get you ready for bed. First, I want you to take a nice, hot, bubble bath."

"A bath? I never take baths!" Audra told her.

"Trust me sweetie, baths are the most wonderful things for relaxing." Marianne replied as she readied the tub in Audra's bathroom. "I think you need to relax a bit and the bubbles will take away your tension."

"Okay mommy, I'll try it."

"Good girl. Let's get you undressed and then I'll get everything else ready."

As Audra soaked in the tub, she quickly realized that her mother was quite correct; the bath was really relaxing and she even began to drift off. Her mother's voice woke her from her reverie.

"Okay prune, time to prepare for bed! First, you have to take these pills."

"What are the pills, mommy?"

"These will help you become a healthy young woman. You have to take some in the morning and at night. It's really important sweetie, if you don't take them, you could become ill."

"Okay mommy, then what?"

"Your stents, sweetheart, but I'll give you some privacy for that."

"Those hurt, mommy."

"I know, but it's necessary, sweetheart. You did promise Nurse Marie that you would brave didn't you?"

"Yes, mommy."

Marianne gave Audra some privacy so that she could look after herself. She could hear Audra crying quietly with the difficulty of the task. Poor child, she thought, this can't be easy for her. Marianne bustled about the room, taking a new nightgown from the closet and preparing a new pair of panties with a pad for Audra. Marianne smiled thinking that Audra would be pleasantly surprised at how comfy the nighty would be.

Audra came out of the bathroom, her eyes were still a little red from crying, but she had obviously made some effort to hide her discomfort and she had wrapped the towel so that it covered her chest. Marianne gave her a hug and a kiss, "I see you remembered about the towel. I'm proud of you, Audra. Let's get you dressed and then you can say goodnight to everyone."

Marianne held out the fresh pair of panties, these ones in a light shade of blue, for Audra to step into. Once Audra had pulled them up, having dropped the towel, Marianne held up the light blue nighty for her. "Arms up, sweetie!"

Audra hesitated at the nighty, "Can't I wear pajamas?"

"Sorry sweetie, but the doctors are concerned that more restrictive clothing would cause you harm. You're still healing you know. I think you'll be surprised at how comfy a nightgown is, though, and you may never want to wear pajamas again."

"I'll try, mommy." Audra replied as she raised her arms for her mother. Marianne slipped the nightgown over Audra who shivered slightly at the cool, slippery feel of the silk. "This feels nice, mommy!" Audra exclaimed, surprised in spite of herself.

Marianne laughed, "There are some pleasures in being a girl, sweetheart! The smooth, delicate feel of the clothing is just one of them. Okay sweetie, let's go downstairs and say goodnight."

***

Audra lay awake in the dark of her room after everyone had said their goodnights and kissed her. While her homecoming had been surprisingly pleasant, she was having difficulty getting comfortable in the role that had been thrust upon her. Silently, she crawled from the bed and knelt down in an attitude of prayer.

"Please God; if you can hear me, this is Aaron. I know I have asked you this a lot, but I can't help it. I feel so afraid and I can't deal with this. I don't know how to be a girl; can't you make me a boy again?" Audra prayed, her tears sliding down her cheeks. "I promise that I will do anything you ask. Please make me a boy again. Please?"

Audra climbed back into bed again and softly cried herself to sleep.

***

James sat bolt upright in his bed. Audra's screams of sheer terror pierced his soul and bolted out of bed to her room. Inside, he was greeted with the sight of Audra sitting ramrod straight, tears streaming down her face as she screamed her voice raw. James grabbed her and held her. "I'm here sweetheart, I'm here. It was just a bad dream. You're okay." He murmured into her ear.

Audra clung to him crying as the rest of the family gathered at the doorway of her room. "Oh Daddy! They came for me. They were going to hurt me even more. I was so scared, it was dark and all I heard was the voices that told me I would have to pay."

James continued to stroke her hair. "They can't hurt you anymore, sweetheart. You're safe with Daddy, I promise."

Marianne shooed everyone away from the door and plugged in a nightlight for Audra. Then she took Audra from James' arms and hugged her. "I plugged in a light for you, baby, to chase away the darkness. Mommy and Daddy are here now and we'll watch over you. Sleep now, baby, and the light will protect you."

Audra lied back down, her sobs subsiding in the comforting warmth of her parents. As they watched over her, she drifted back into sleep. Both parents kissed her tenderly on the forehead as they got up to go back to sleep.

"I'm worried James," Marianne told her husband. "She has a lot of scars."

"Me too, I'll talk to Sheila in the morning."

***

Audra dreamed again, but it was nicer this time. In this dream, she was a beautiful young woman and she floated through the light on gossamer wings. As she rose, she beheld wondrous gates of pearl. Before the gates stood a man with a long, flowing beard and a kindly visage dressed in shimmering robes of white.

"Welcome daughter, what seek you within?" He asked of her.

"I seek peace, Sir." The dream Audra replied.

"Peace, my daughter?"

"I'm torn, Sir, I live between two worlds."

"Oh daughter, your time is not yet. You stand between two worlds, that of men and that of women, but the time will come when you will embrace one of these worlds. Before then, you will face many trials and you will become stronger for them, do not let these trials discourage you. Then, after these trials, you will discover your inner self and you will blossom for the world."

"What am I to be?"

"You are Aaron. You are Audra. You are to be you; and that is truly both and more."

"Thank you, Sir. I will return then."

"Go with our love, daughter."

Audra woke up.

Chapter 10: Shopping.

"Your friend is out of the hospital, Mike." June Davidson told her son as she hung up the phone.

"Aaron is out? That's so cool, I've missed him. So has the team." Mike responded.

Jane sighed a bit, looking at her son and thinking that it was probably about time he learned the truth about what happened. "You know, Mike; there is something you need to know about what happened to Aaron and why you weren't allowed to visit."

"What do you mean, Mom? He was rescued okay wasn't he?"

"He was, but he was hurt very badly. The people who kidnapped him did a very evil thing to him, so evil that the doctors at the hospital were left with no real choice. They had to make Aaron into a girl."

"A girl?!? How could they make Aaron into a girl?" Mike looked shocked to the core.

"These evil men took something away from Aaron, I'm sure you can guess what it was." Unconsciously, Mike crossed his legs looking very uncomfortable, as June went on, "Aaron is now Audra. She is having some difficulty adjusting."

"She?"

"She." June repeated firmly, "Audra is a girl whether she wanted it or not. She had no control over it, she was in a coma and they had to act fast."

"She..." Mike muttered to himself. "Why couldn't I have visited?"

"Audra needed some time to adjust, to try and come to terms with what had happened. Being reminded of a lot of what she had lost would have hurt her too much."

"Oh." Mike replied as he slipped into thought.

"Why don't you go over and visit her later? I'm sure she would like to see you."

"Huh?" Mike asked, pulled from his reverie. "Oh, sure Mom, I will."

***

Audra climbed out of bed, strangely at peace with herself after her last dream. Feeling a little chilled in the predawn air of her bedroom, she wandered over to her closet looking for a robe and slippers. Opening the door of the closet, she discovered that her male clothing had been replaced by the feminine.

Audra examined some of the skirts and dresses she found. There wasn't a lot, but what were there were fairly simple, basic colors, nothing too feminine. Audra didn't know whether to be relieved or miffed at that. Experimentally, she took down a white dress, with small ruffles around the arms and the base, and held it to her body in front of the mirror.

As her eyes lost focus from her thoughts, she realized that she had forgotten that she was wearing a dress last night. At first, she was conscious of it, but it had been so comfortable and light, that it had passed through her thoughts. Looking at this new dress in front of her, she concluded that it would look nice on her.

Still a bit chilled from the air, she hung the dress back up and looked for a robe. She found two, one in white and one in pink. Torn for a minute, a small part of her suddenly decided to try the pink, so she put it on. Digging around in the closet, she found a pair of cute, pink, bunny slippers that seemed to go with the robe, so she put them on as well. As she went to leave her room, she again caught sight of the cute girl, looking cozy in her pink robe and bunny slippers. She looked at the girl and then addressed her. "I don't know if I want you around yet, but you haven't been so bad. My dream said you were a part of me, so I guess we should be friends." Audra smiled at the girl in the mirror.

As she walked down the stairs, she could hear the bustle of the cook in the kitchen. Suddenly shy, Audra stopped on the stairs looking like a deer caught in headlights. Just then, the door to the dining room opened and Ken walked out. "Hey, brat! Just in time for breakfast." He smiled.

"Uh..." Audra extemporized.

"What's the matter, kid?"

"I don't know; I just got nervous all of a sudden."

"Oh, come on, you look great. What is it with women these days, expecting to wake up looking like they just had six hours of makeup work done on them?"

Audra giggled. "Thanks, Ken." She smiled, though she knew her brother had deliberately misinterpreted her nervousness.

Ken extravagantly opened the door to the dining room. "Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to present, Miss America!" He announced. Audra blushed as her grandparents and parents clapped appreciatively. She swatted Ken on the way by and he just laughed at her as he tousled her hair.

Alison Kent, the family cook, popped out of the kitchen. "Good morning Audra, what would you like for breakfast?" She asked.

"Can I have my usual?" Audra asked.

"It's 'may I' dear." Marianne corrected absently.

Alison smiled at the child. "Certainly, sweetie." She said.

As Audra took her place at the table, her mother raised an eyebrow at her. "What made you choose the pink robe, Audra?"

Audra blushed, "I don't know Mommy, and it just seemed like a good idea."

"It was, sweetheart; I was just curious. I'm quite proud of you."

Audra didn't understand why her parents seemed so pleased about the pink robe, it was just a robe. Still, if a pink robe made them happy, then Audra didn't have any issue with it she was thinking as she absently swallowed the pills her mother placed in front of her.

"Do you want to go shopping today, Audra?" Marianne asked.

"What for Mommy?"

"Well, we need to get some more clothing for you and I thought you might like to get some new books and maybe some video games for your computer."

"Don't I have enough clothing?" Audra wasn't a big fan of clothing shopping.

"Sweetheart, a girl never has enough clothing." Grandma Jones laughed.

"Okay Mommy, can I get some pants and shorts?"

"Yes dear, though you can't wear them for a few weeks while you finish healing." Marianne replied. Audra looked disappointed.

***

"Hurry up, slowpoke! The stores are waiting for us!" Susie called into Audra's room.

"I don't know what to wear!" Audra practically wailed.

Susie popped into the room. "Need help?" She asked.

"Please!" Audra practically begged.

"Okay, first girl lesson for today," began Susie. "We're going clothes shopping and that means trying on a lot of clothes, so you want to make it easy to change in and out of your street clothing. With me so far?"

Audra nodded, "I guess so."

"Since you can't wear pants yet, your best bet is a skirt and a blouse with a buttoned top. That way you don't have to yank things over your head. Let's see what you've got..." Susie began poking in the relatively bare closet. "I don't know Sis, you need some variety here. Hmm. This looks promising," Susie commented as she stepped out of the closet holding up a jean skirt and a white, short sleeved, blouse.

"Umm..." Audra hesitated.

"Look Audra, you don't have a lot of clothes and the doctors said you had to wear skirts for a few weeks. This'll be comfortable and it'll look nice."

Audra sighed and took the clothing from Susie. "Okay, look the other way while I put them on."

"You haven't got anything I haven't seen before, you know."

"Doesn't matter." Audra replied as Susie shrugged and turned her back. Audra quickly donned the skirt and then blouse, but she began to fumble with the buttons. "Why are these backwards?" Audra complained as she finally got them done up.

"Why is what backwards?"

"The buttons, they're on the wrong side."

"Silly goose, girl's shirts have buttons on the other side." Susie told her as she turned around to help. "Oh, you should have put the blouse on before the skirt; it's easier to tuck in that way."

"Now you tell me!"

"Hey, I can't think of everything. Just undo the skirt and tuck everything in. Once you do up the skirt, lift the hem and pull your blouse down from the inside. That will make it tight and less sloppy looking."

"I'm never going to remember all of this." Audra grumbled.

Susie laughed at her as she fished out a pair of sandals from the closet. "Here, put these shoes on, they go okay. Then I'll braid your hair so it keeps out of the way."

Audra sat down and put on the sandals. They aren't too different from my old sandals, she thought as Susie started brushing her hair and twisting it into a braid.

After a few minutes of hair tugging, Susie announced, "I'm done! Let's have a look in the mirror."

Audra looked at herself in the mirror. Again, the cute girl was back and looking ready to go out. She let her eyes travel from her head to her toes, feeling the strange stiffness of the French braid that Susie had given her.

"You need nail polish, your toes are boring." Susie decided.

"It can wait." Audra replied, not really anxious for that idea to bear fruit.

"I guess so. Ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"Not 'born ready' this time?" Susie asked, a bit surprised that Audra hadn't used her favorite expression.

"Not for this."

***

"You both look great!" Marianne complimented her daughters as they came downstairs. "Are you ready for some power shopping?" The girls nodded. "Okay, then out to the car."

Marianne herded the girls to the car, pleased that Audra remembered the instructions about getting in to a vehicle in a dress or skirt. She's learning, Marianne thought, as she climbed behind the wheel after ensuring the two were buckled in safely.

The drive to the mall was uneventful, but Audra became more and more nervous as they got closer. Despite the dinner last night, Audra wasn't really used to being in public as a girl and she was deathly afraid that somebody would call her out as a boy.

Marianne spotted her nervousness, "Come along sweetie, you haven't anything to fear with me here."

"Okay mommy." Audra responded as she reluctantly climbed from the car.

"Where to first?" Sheila asked.

"I think we need to do this from the skin out," Marianne replied. "So, let's do Aleda's Lingerie first." She led the two girls inside, holding on to Audra's hand comfortingly.

Entering the store, Audra was struck by the definite feminine state of the place. Sure there was the odd boy, dragged inside by his mother, but this was definitely a place intended for women and men were intruders.

A young woman walked up to the trio. "Marianne! What brings you into see us today?"

"Hi Danielle, I need to get some things for my daughter, Audra."

"Audra?"

"Audra, say 'hi' to Danielle. Danielle works here and she is going to help us today."

"Hi Danielle," Audra said.

"Hi Audra, aren't you a pretty girl." Danielle smiled. She looked at Marianne with a question in her eyes.

"Susie, why don't you take Audra and have a look around? I want to give Danielle a 'grocery list' of things to find for me."

Susie grabbed Audra's hand and dragged her off to the swimsuit section.

As the girls departed, Danielle looked at Marianne. "What's going on Mari?"

Marianne sighed, "It's a long story..." She proceeded to tell Danielle what had happened to Aaron and why he was here now.

By the time Marianne had finished, Danielle had tears in her eyes. "My God, the poor child," she stated.

Marianne nodded. "We're here so that we can get Audra a whole new wardrobe. I'm starting with the skin out, so I came to my favorite store."

"Any idea what she would like?" Danielle asked.

"Knowing Audra, the plainer the better, however, I think I want to add some truly feminine items, age appropriate of course, to the collection. I most definitely want her wearing a training bra. She's starting to develop from the medication, though she hasn't noticed yet, and she'll need them. They'll also help to remind her that she's a girl."

"Well, let's get her measured," Danielle nodded in agreement.

Marianne waved the girls to the change room area. "Okay Audra, we need you to take off your skirt and blouse for some measurements."

"Here? In front of other people?" Audra looked panicked.

"It's okay Audra, only women can come back here and they will be polite." Marianne replied.

Shaking, Audra removed the skirt and blouse, hoping that they wouldn't ask her to remove her underwear--no, panties--at the same time.

Danielle quickly did some measurements and then told Audra to wait for a minute before she put everything back on. A minute later, with Audra getting more nervous, Danielle came back with a white training bra. "Okay Audra, let's try this on for fit."

"A bra?" Audra asked, surprised.

"It's a training bra sweetheart. In case you haven't noticed, you're actually starting to develop in the chest a little," Marianne told her.

Audra blushed, "I am? How?"

"You're a big girl now and your medication is helping that along a bit." Marianne told her.

Danielle slipped the bra onto Audra and adjusted the straps and the chest band. "How does that feel?"

"Weird," Audra replied.

"You'll get used to it," Danielle told her. "You'll appreciate it a bit later when you really start to fill out, trust me. Okay, you can get dressed and I'll round up a selection of other items. Keep the bra on dear."

Audra nodded as she started dressing again. She remembered Susie's advice and put the blouse on first. After doing up the skirt, she tugged the blouse down and straightened it out. Marianne smiled at seeing the way Audra dressed; the girl really is learning, she thought.

Audra caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and stopped. With the new bra, her chest suddenly seemed so much more girl-like than before. Audra frowned at the reflection, not sure that she liked this new situation or the bra for that matter. Audra was very conscious of the bra and the way its straps tightened around her in odd, unfamiliar, places.

***

"Okay, let's get some general clothing." Marianne announced after the first set of packages were stowed into the car. She led the girls to a shop that provided general, daily clothing.

Grabbing a cart, Marianne, started browsing her way through the various racks. Every now and then, she would pick up an item and hold it against Audra. After collecting what seemed like a billion articles of clothing, Marianne led Audra to the change rooms. "Okay sweetie, let's try these one."

"All of these?!?" Audra asked incredulously.

"All of them," Marianne nodded affirmatively. "So shake a leg. Take this in first." Marianne held up a pink jumper and shirt set.

Audra looked at the proffered clothing askew. "They're pink," she noted.

"So?"

"Umm... I don't know, I guess." Audra replied as she trudged off to the booth. Inside, she took off her outer clothing and quickly donned the set. She was surprised to find that they fit quite comfortable. If only they weren't pink, Audra thought.

"Come out so I can see you, Audra." Marianne told her. Audra grudgingly came out of the booth. "Oh, that looks pretty and it seems to fit you well," Marianne commented.

"They look so nice, Audra." Susie commented.

"I guess." Audra shrugged.

"Okay, try this on and bring that set back out," Marianne instructed, holding out a pair of light blue capris pants and a white top.

Audra changed again and came back out with the last set of clothing and handed them to Marianne. "These pants are too short," Audra noted.

Susie laughed, "That's the way they're supposed to be, you goose!"

"Oh," Audra said looking embarrassed.

"Don't tease your sister, Susie, she didn't know." Marianne instructed, holding out more clothes for Audra.

Eventually, after what seemed like ages but was really only about an hour, Audra finally finished trying on the pile of clothing her mother had found. Marianne had sorted the results into two groups: accepted and rejected. Audra noted that the pink jumper was in the accepted pile, but there were some shorts and pants in the collection, so she let it go. For some reason, the pink jumper bothered her and she couldn't really put a finger on why.

***

"Okay, fancier clothing for evenings out," Marianne announced as the next stop. "We'll have to hurry this one along a bit; I've arranged an appointment for us."

"An appointment?" Audra asked.

"She means the hair salon," Susie replied.

"Why?"

"She wants to spoil us. Trust me, you'll enjoy it." Susie asserted.

"Okay, I guess." Audra didn't seem too sure.

"Besides, maybe they'll do something about your boring toes." Susie laughed.

Audra looked even less sure about that as Marianne led them into another shop. This one was definitely for catering to the fancier events, with a variety of styles ranging from the princess-like gowns to the eye-popping, God I want sex, gowns.

"Mari, welcome back!" Lucille, the owner of Top Dress, called out.

"Lucille, I'm so glad you're here today!" Marianne replied as the two ladies hugged. Lucille and Marianne were old friends.

"I see you've brought your lovely daughters in today. Are you here for them?"

"Of course. Audra needs a whole wardrobe and Susie is due for some updates."

"Well, this will be fun," Lucille smiled. "Audra, my sweet, welcome to my store. You've changed since I last saw you, but you look adorable."

Audra blushed.

Lucille knelt down in front of Audra and took her hands. "Child, I know what happened; your mother and I have been friends for a long time. I want you to know that I admire you for your courage and that you are a beautiful girl. Today, I'm going to show you the truly gorgeous side of yourself and I want you to enjoy that. Will you help me?"

Audra looked surprised. "I'll try, Lucille."

"I know you will, my sweet, I know you will." Lucille said, straightening up. She looked at her assistant and said, "Tina, would you look after Missus Wilson and young Susie? I want to give Audra, here, my complete attention."

Marianne smiled happily, "Audra, do what Lucille tells you and have fun. Susie and I will be nearby if you need us. Thank you, Lucille." Marianne knew Audra would have fun with Lucille, she was always a bit of rebel and she and Aaron had gotten along very well before.

Lucille winked as she turned back to Audra, "Come, my sweet, let's party!" Audra laughed as she followed Lucille to the back. "Okay, first we have to measure you, so I need you to strip down to your panties. Is that a bra you're wearing?"

Audra blushed, "Uh huh. Mommy bought it for me today."

"Congratulations darling! That's wonderful. A girl's first bra is a big event, you know."

"It is?"

"Oh yes, a big event. Not quite the same as a wedding, but still a big event. Have you named them yet?"

"Named them?"

"Your breasts. I call mine 'Gumby' and 'Pokey' you see. 'Gumby,' because my toothless husband favors it, and 'Pokey,' because the other one seems to perk up at just the oddest times."

Audra laughed. It was the first time that she had really laughed since she had woken up in the hospital and it felt like a soothing balm over her soul. Hugging Lucille, Audra said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome! Breast naming is a rite of passage, you know, so you had better think about it," Lucille told her with mock seriousness. "Now shuck the clothes, my sweet, so I can measure you and turn you into a vision."

Audra got undressed, still giggling at Lucille's outrageous comments. As Lucille measured her, Audra realized that she was seeing a side of Lucille she hadn't seen before. Lucille had always been really nice to her, but when Audra was Aaron, there were things that Lucille would never say. Now it was different. Audra felt like she had suddenly entered a very exclusive club that had been previously denied to her.

"Okay, I have your measurements, you lucky girl. Wait here and I'll be back with the first creation for you to try on."

Audra nodded as Lucille bustled out into the store. Within minutes, Lucille was back with a dress that looked like it was made of silk and an odd collection of what looked like a bulky lace skirt. The dress was quite pretty, Audra had to admit, though she hadn't figured on ever wearing such an outfit herself. It was in pink satin with white lace detailing around the neck, cuffs, and hem and it was finished at the waist with a large bow done in white. "Umm... wow," Audra commented.

"It's a gown suitable for a princess, my sweet!" Lucille pronounced. "First, we have to put on the petticoats," Lucille continued, holding out the mass of lace.

"Petticoats?"

"They puff out the skirt and make it look more feminine and delicate. Trust me; you'll look divine with these and this dress." Lucille told her as she tied the petticoats around Audra's waist.

Lucille then helped Audra don the dress and zipped her up. After fussing with the bow and adjusting the drop of the skirt and petticoats, she led Audra over to the mirror.

Audra's jaw dropped. Facing her was truly a princess, despite the bare feet, done up in satin wonder. Audra was even mesmerized by the feel of the petticoats as they swirled around her legs. In spite of herself, she decided that she liked it.

"Like it?" Lucille asked, partly holding her breath to herself. This was the most feminine creation she had in the store and she had decided to baptize Audra with fire. If Audra hated it...

"I don't know what to say," Audra hesitated. "I do like it, but I don't know why."

"It's because you're a pretty girl and pretty girls like to see something special in themselves every now an then."

Just then Marianne and Susie walked in. "Oh my God, Audra, you look absolutely adorable!" Susie cried.

Audra blushed as Marianne laughed, "She's right, sweetie, and you look like a princess in that dress."

"But, we still have to do something about those toes," Susie decided.

***

Marianne and the girls carted the large collection of clothing to the car. They had bought several fancy dresses for Audra and Susie, and Marianne had even indulged herself with a new cocktail dress. Audra still found that a bit weird, being in the dressing room as her mother came in, and shrugged off her clothing without a thought, to try on the dress. Aaron had never seen his mother so undressed before and Audra, who was still Aaron in many ways, wasn't sure of what to make of it.

"Okay, let's get to the salon for our appointments!" Marianne announced. "After that, we'll get a bite to eat and then finish off at the shoe store."

As they entered the salon, Audra was almost overwhelmed by the sounds and smells that filled the air. She heard her mother say, "Wilson appointment."

"Three of you today," asked the lady behind the counter.

"Myself and my two daughters, for the works!" Marianne smiled.

"The works?" Audra asked Susie in a whisper.

"Hair, make-up, nails, the works." Susie told her.

Audra looked nervous again as a young lady came up and asked her to follow.

"It's okay, you go with her and enjoy. Trust me, sweetie, you'll have fun if you let yourself."

Audra nodded reluctantly, "Okay, mommy."

The girl looked at her kindly. "First time?" She asked as she led Audra to a back room.

Audra nodded again.

"Oh, well, we'll have fun, believe me. You'll feel so relaxed. Now, first you have to take off your skirt, top, and shoes and put on this robe and slippers." The girl told her, holding up a pink robe and slippers.

Audra blushed as she shyly took off her clothing and donned the robe and slippers. "What's your name?" She asked the girl.

"Denise."

"Please to meet you Denise, I'm Aa... Audra" Audra stuck out her hand.

Denise laughed, shaking the proffered hand. "My, you're a polite young girl. Okay, Audra, let's get your hair washed."

Denise led Audra to the sinks and sat her in a chair in front of one. Leaning Audra back, she turned on the water and began rinsing her hair. Audra allowed her eyes to close, this was her favorite part of getting her hair cut before and it was still quite enjoyable. She felt herself slipping into a semi-dream state as Denise lathered and rinsed her hair several times.

"Okay sleepy-kitty, let's go over to the chair and get started." Denise told her as she handed Audra out of the chair and led over to the workstation. "Your mommy has already told me what she wanted, so we're going to do a little trim and then give you some light curls. Nothing too dramatic, I promise!"

Denise hummed quietly as she combed out Audra's hair and began snipping the ends. "You know sleepy-kitty, you need tostart using conditioner on your hair. It'll help with tangles and keep it nice and shiny." Denise kept up her instructional monologue as she worked on the trim.

"Okay, now we're going to roll your hair and then put on a perm solution to give you some curl. This is smelly, but you'll live." Denise told her as she started to roll Audra's hair in a larger set of curlers. Once all the hair was wound up in various places, Denise squirted the perm solution on.

Audra wrinkled her nose.

"Told you!" Denise said. Audra laughed.

"Okay, while that goes to work, let's start on your hands."

"My hands?"

"Yes your hands, sleepy-kitty, we're going to make them all pretty." Denise told her as she put Audra's hands into a soaking solution. After a bit, Denise took Audra's hands out of the solution and dried them off. Then she took a wooden stick with a beveled end and started pushing back the skin covering at the base of Audra's fingernails.

"Okay, we'll file them a bit to give them shape. You're young, so we don't want them too long. Shake this a bit for me," Denise said as she handed Audra a bottle of pale pink nail polish and then started filing.

"What's this?"

"Nail polish, it'll make your hands look pretty. I'm going to use it on your toes too; they're boring and they need it."

"That's what my sister said."

"Your sister is wise," Denise laughed. Denise finished the filing and took the bottle of polish from Audra. Opening it, she quickly painted each fingernail and then aimed a heat lamp over them. After about a minute, she turned off the lamp and applied a second coat, repeating the heat lamp process. Finally, Denise took a bottle of clear polish and applied an even coat over the pink. "Okay, that'll protect them."

Audra decided her fingers felt a bit funny, almost as if their tips were just a bit heavier than usual. She wiggled her hands in front of her face, feeling a little ambivalent about the process. In the mirror in front of her she could see herself, curlers and all, and she was beginning to feel overwhelmed by the whole situation.

As Audra was daydreaming, Denise worked on Audra's toes. By the time Audra snapped out of her daydreaming, Denise had finished and was spraying more stuff on her hair. Audra lifted her legs up and wiggled her toes. They look like girl toes, she said to herself, I'll never get used to this.

A few minutes later, Denise took out the curlers and led Audra back over to the sinks to wash out the solution. Back at the workstation, she brushed and blow dried Audra's hair, bringing out the new curls. "Close your eyes." Denise told Audra as she sprayed some hairspray onto the new hairstyle. "Okay, open them!" Denise told her, holding a mirror behind Audra's head.

"Wow," Audra told her. She studied herself in the mirror, realizing that she looked even more like a girl then before.

"Why thank you sleepy-kitty, that's quite a compliment!" Denise told her happily.

Audra decided not to explain the 'wow' that she had let slip. It wasn't so much that she liked the style; it was the effect that her new appearance had on her. Still, Denise appeared happy and Audra didn't want to spoil that.

As Denise led her back to the waiting area after changing, she saw that her mom and her sister were already done.

Susie's jaw dropped. "Wow, Audra, you look amazing!" Susie exclaimed as Audra blushed again.

"Your daughter was wonderful," Denise told Marianne. "She was polite and friendly, though a bit sleepy when I washed her hair."

"Audra has always been like that," Marianne laughed.

"Thank you, Denise," Audra said politely.

"You're welcome, sleepy-kitty, come again any time." Denise smiled.

"Come along girls, let's get a bite to eat," Marianne said as they left the salon.

***

The late afternoon lunch was uneventful and the women headed to the shoe store. "We need a variety of shoes, I think," Marianne commented as they entered. "You really don't have much, especially for dressier occasions, and we definitely need something to go with that new dress."

"Do you need any help, Madam?" A young man asked as he came up to the women.

"My youngest daughter, here, needs a new collection of shoes; she's outgrowing her old ones rapidly." Marianne told him with a straight face as Audra looked at Susie with a bit of surprise.

"I see. What sort of shoes are we looking for?"

"Everything from play to formal."

"Well, let's measure her foot and then we can see what is available." He said, directing Audra to a nearby chair. Sitting on the foot bench, he removed Audra's shoe and measured her foot, then he measured the other as well. Noting Audra's unspoken question, he told her that many people can have different sized feet and it was always best to measure both, just in case.

Marianne came back as he was standing up and she was holding a pair of pink satin pumps with a one inch heel. "Do you have any of these in her size?" She asked.

"I think so, I'll check," he replied, taking the shoe to the back room. A minute or so later, he came back with a box and opened it in front of Audra. He then placed the shoes on her feet and asked her to try walking in them.

Though the heel was low, it was the first time Audra had walked in anything raised and she was unsteady. "Balance on the balls your feet Audra," Susie told her.

"The balls of my feet?" Audra asked, wondering what the heck they were.

"It's the spot right before your toes begin, goose!" Susie laughed.

"Oh." Audra looked abashed as Marianne gave Susie a warning look.

"You'll get used to them, young miss," the salesman told her.

Audra took a few tentative steps around the store. "They make me feel like I'm going to tip over, mommy."

Marianne laughed, "Sweetheart, the gentleman is right, you'll get used to it. Why, these aren't even much of a heel, wait until you try three inches!" Audra looked suddenly frightened at the thought of a three inch heel.

Audra tried on many more pairs of shoes, including play shoes and dress shoes. Her mother purchased quite a number of them, including the first pair she tried on because they would go with the princess gown they had bought earlier.

It was a very tired crew of shoppers that made their way home.

Audra's not the only one who's having problems with the change.

Audra: A New Life

by Joanne Foxcourt

Part 3 - Meeting Friends

All the usual copyright and "viewing if you're legal" rules apply. There is no sex in this story, the character is far too young, but there is implied violence. It is a work of fiction and all the characters are fictional, any similarities to the living are chance.

Chapter 11: Mike.

Mike Davidson was nervous, more than nervous. The bombshell his mother had dropped on him left him pretty shaken and quite concerned for his best friend. That evening, after dinner, he pushed down his nervousness and biked over to Audra's place. As he rode, his mind was whirling over what to expect. Sure, he thought, Aaron always looked kind of girl-like, but he was a boy and I hope he doesn't look silly.

Mike dropped his bike to the side of the driveway as he usually did and walked up to the front door. He hesitated, a couple of seconds, before he pressed the doorbell. He heard Susie shout, "I'll get it!" as the door flung open.

"Mike!" Susie exclaimed, looking surprised to see him. "Audra! Audra, Mike is here!" She shouted into the house before turning back to him. "Come in Mike."

Mike entered the familiar home as Audra appeared at the top of the stairs. He stopped and stared at her in stunned surprise, his eyes taking in the appearance of a young girl wearing a jean skirt, a white top, and a curly new hair style. "Aaron?" Mike almost whispered.

***

Audra blanched and suddenly turned a fled back down the hallway from whence she had come. Audra had taken the surprise on Mike's face as rejection and she was devastated. If her best friend couldn't accept her, the other kids certainly wouldn't, she told herself. She slammed her door shut and flung herself to her bed, sobbing.

***

Mike and Susie stared at each other in surprise. "What happened, Susie?" Mike asked.

"I don't know," Susie mused, "she's feeling pretty down. Why don't you go up and try to talk to her?"

Mike nodded and trudged up the stairs and knocked at Audra's door. He heard a muffled "who is it?" from inside and replied, "Mike. Can I come in?"

Audra opened her door. Her eyes were red rimmed from crying and she was trying to wipe away the remnants of her tears. "What do you want?" She asked, almost harshly.

"I want to talk, Aaron."

"It's Audra, Aaron is dead," Audra replied flatly.

"I'm sorry; I don't mean to screw up. Look, Audra, we've been friends forever. Can't we just talk?" Mike asked, embarrassed at his continual name slip and the hurt he could see in Audra's eyes.

Audra sighed and nodded, letting Mike into the room. He looked around, surprised at the changes. It looked like a cross between a boy's and girl's room, he thought. "Aar... Audra, I'm sorry I was so surprised. I didn't know what to expect and I didn't mean to upset you," Mike told her.

"It's okay," Audra whispered.

Mike sat down on the edge of the bed as Audra watched him silently. He suddenly felt self-conscious and his fingers pulled and twisted the comforter.

"Mike, I..." "Audra, I..."

Suddenly, they both laughed. "Audra, I missed you. Are you okay?" Mike asked.

"I guess so. I missed you too; it's good to be home."

"What happened?"

Audra's eyes squeezed shut and her breathing tightened. "I can't tell you."

Mike couldn't miss the white fear that came over Audra as she struggled with that question. "I'm sorry. I keep screwing it up. Maybe this was a bad idea." He stood up.

"No, Mike, wait. It's not your fault. Every time I think about it, I get scared. I'll try to tell you."

"Audra, hey, you don't have to if you don't want to."

"It's okay," Audra replied and took a deep breath. "I don't remember much. I was coming home after the came and a couple of men stopped me and asked for directions. After that, I woke up in some room, tied up and blindfolded. They told me that I was being ransomed for money to help support some cause. Sometime later, I don't know how long, they came back and told me that my parents had screwed up and that I'd have to pay. They gave me some needle and all I remember after that was waking up in the hospital."

"Pay?" Mike asked.

"My Daddy told me that they said they were going to take away one of my lives. Now I know what that means."

It didn't escape Mike that Audra was sounding more like a girl, especially the way she referenced her dad. "They made you into a girl?"

"No, the doctors did. They said they didn't have a choice."

"Just like that?"

"Well, it's not that simple and I'm not completely a girl. I can't have babies."

"Wow. Um... you look great though."

Audra blushed as the two fell silent again.

Mike was feeling the strain of the silence as he stood up. "Are you going to come to the game tomorrow?"

"I don't know, maybe. I can't play yet."

"Yeah," Mike agreed. "You should come anyways. The team has been worried about you."

"I'll think about it," Audra hedged.

"Okay. Well, um, I should be going, I guess. I'm glad you're home."

"Thanks Mike."

Audra silently followed Mike to the front door and watched him pick up his bike.

"Later!" Mike waved as he sped off.

Audra waved and closed the door. Quietly, she went back to her room, hugged a pillow and cried.

***

June Davidson heard the front door slam shut. "Michael, honey, is that you?"

"It's me, Mom," Michael replied as he wandered into the living room.

"Are you okay?"

"I guess so, Mom. It was weird," Mike responded. "I didn't know what to say."

"It's been pretty hard for Audra, Mike, you should know that."

"I guess so," he said again, shrugging.

"There's no guessing, young man, it is so. Her entire world has changed. Everything she knows, everyone she hangs out with, everything she is allowed to do has changed. She can't even play baseball on your team anymore."

"Huh? Why not?" Mike asked.

"Think about it. It's a boy's team."

"Oh, man, I never thought of that," Mike said.

"Obviously."

"I don't think Aaron, I mean Audra, has thought of that yet, either," Mike mentioned.

"Probably not. Poor kid. How does she look?"

"Like a girl."

June laughed, "Thanks for the clarity."

"You know what I mean. Aaron always looked kind of like a girl anyways and now it's even more."

"Yes, I suspect that is true."

"I asked her to come to the game."

"Will she go?"

"I doubt it. She didn't seem to want to."

"If you think about it, you'll understand."

"I guess so," Mike shrugged and headed up to his room to play video games.

June watched her son depart. He's not dealing with this well, she thought, it's such a drastic change for them both.

***

Marianne heard the quiet crying behind Audra's door. Pausing for a moment, she turned the handle and walked in to see her daughter curled around a pillow on the bed. She hurried over and gently touched Audra on the shoulder.

"Oh Mommy! It's so hard! Nothing is the same, not even Mike." Audra turned and sobbed into her shoulder.

Marianne softly stroked Audra's hair and whispered, "It'll get better Audra, I promise." Marianne rocked her gently until she cried herself asleep. Carefully, so as not to wake her, she undressed Audra and put a clean nightgown on her. She then tucked her under the covers and kissed her forehead. Turning out the lights, Marianne silently left the room and went to find her husband for a good cry of her own.

Chapter 12: Play ball! Well, not exactly.

Audra woke up the next morning feeling a little rebellious about her current situation. After showering, she deliberately set about dressing herself in Aaron's clothing, as best she could. While the panties were unavoidable, she could ignore the training bra, and don her baseball uniform overtop to hide them. She then pulled her hair into a low ponytail, as she had worn as Aaron, and put on her baseball cap.

Audra's mind refused to accept what her eyes told her. To her, her appearance looked like it always did, as Aaron. She was fooling herself, but she didn't see it. The chemical cocktail that she was required to take had already been working on her since the many weeks had passed from her surgery. Without the production of male hormones and with her young age, the female hormones had free reign to further feminize a once-boy who had already looked fairly feminine to begin with. All this had passed over Audra in her apparent desire to see Aaron and make what had changed familiar again.

Feeling a bit more at peace, Audra made her way down to breakfast. Already she was reasserting herself as Aaron, in her mind, and she began to allow herself to dream of doing all of the things she did with Mike, including baseball. Her mental state was such that she didn't even realize the surprise and sadness in the face of her family as she sat at the table for breakfast.

***

"I'm worried, James, Audra is trying to be Aaron again," Marianne told her husband after breakfast.

"Sheila warned us, Mari. It's to be expected, especially after seeing Mike."

"I know," Marianne replied, "but I'm really worried about her being hurt. Her teammates, other than Mike, don't know yet..."

"It has to happen sometime, we can't always hover over her to protect her from the world," James soothed.

"Kids can be cruel," Marianne stated.

"They can and they will be. She will face this now or face this in school in the fall. We can't prevent it. Audra is a beautiful girl, even without my parental bias, and she will come out of this okay."

"I suppose so. I wish I could roll back the clock," Marianne sighed.

"As do I. As do I..."

***

"I don't know about this, Audra," Susie commented.

"It's Aaron!" Audra insisted.

Susie sighed, "Whatever! I think this is a bad idea and I'm coming with you."

"No!"

"Yes! It's final."

Audra glared at her sister for a few seconds before relenting. She realized that Susie wasn't going to let her go alone and there was nothing that could be done to prevent it anyways. Together, the picked up their bikes and prepared to ride to the park. Audra barely suppressed the gasp of pain that suddenly escaped her from the sudden contact of her weight against the seat of the bike, pain that brought back her situation all too clearly. Gritting her teeth, she lifted herself off the seat slightly and began pedaling to the park, Susie following.

The two arrived to see that most of the players from both teams were already there. With a shock, Audra realized that her team was playing the same team as the day she was kidnapped. She repressed a shiver.

As they tied up their bikes, Mike wandered over to them. "Hey, it's cool that you're here!" Mike told them.

"Hey Mike," Audra replied as Susie echoed.

Mike looked at Audra, even in her baseball uniform, she looked like a girl. Mike sighed to himself as he realized that Aaron was truly gone. "Why the uniform Audra? I didn't think you could play yet," Mike asked.

"It's Aaron!" Audra stiffened at the question.

"Hey! Take it easy," Mike replied, confused at the change from the previous night. What's going on? He asked himself. Yesterday she's telling me that Aaron is dead and now she gets angry because I called her what she told me to call her?

Audra relented slightly. "I'm just here to watch," she told Mike.

"Okay. I gotta get back to the team."

As Mike trotted off, Susie looked at Audra with a frown. "What's the matter with you?"

"What do you mean?" Audra snapped.

"You nearly tore his head off!"

"I did not!" Audra retorted.

"Yesterday, you told him to call you Audra and now you snap at him to call you, Aaron."

"I am Aaron!" Audra shouted as she stomped to the stands.

Susie poked her in the chest. "You are not! You are Audra and you had best start accepting that!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Audra screamed, shaking her head and putting her hands over her ears.

Susie backed off, recognizing that her new sister was in no condition to face reality at this moment. Looking around, she saw that Audra's old team was staring at them in shock and she realized that the cat was out of the bag, so to speak. Sighing, she sat beside Audra in the stands to watch the game.

***

"What the fuck is going on, Mike?" Bobby Grant asked as the team got ready for the game.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Davidson, Susie called Aaron 'Audra' and he had a fit. Audra is a girl's name."

"It's just Susie being a dumb girl."

"No, it ain't. Aaron looks less like a boy than he ever did and that ain't sayin' much," Bobby asserted.

Mike measured Bobby with his eyes and realized that he wasn't going to get out of this with an explanation. Bobby was a bully, if he couldn't get an answer now, he'd try beating it out of Mike later, though Mike would give him a good fight. Mike sighed as he quickly told the basic story. Even knowing Bobby, he was unprepared for the response.

"Heh, now the boy-girl is a girl. Figures. That's probably just some excuse to finally start wearing girl clothing like he always wanted," Bobby commented.

"You know what, Grant? You're an idiot." Mike walked away in disgust.

"What's the matter, Davidson? Did I upset you about your faggy little boyfriend?" Bobby taunted.

Mike just looked away from Bobby's taunts, but he could see the looks that the other players were giving him. For the rest of the game, Bobby would sneak in some comment about Audra when the coach wasn't in earshot. Mike just gritted his teeth, but the taunts were getting to him.

***

Audra watched most of the game with tears threatening her eyes. She wanted to be out there, with the team, but she couldn't and it was tearing her up. Thankfully, for Audra, Susie had kept quiet beyond the occasional cheer.

As the game ended, Audra climbed down from the stands and headed over to where her former teammates were celebrating their win. The coach had already given them instructions for the next practice and game and headed off, so all that was left were the players.

As Audra approached, Bobby stepped forward and greeted her with, "Hey sissy, what are you doing here amongst real men?"

Audra stopped in hurt and confusion. "What?"

"You heard me," Bobby replied. "We don't want no girly-boys around here."

Mike went to move forward, but several of his teammates stopped him. "Shut up... Oof!" Mike said as he was elbowed by one of Bobby's cronies.

Susie stepped in front of Audra. "What's your problem Grant?" She demanded.

"Fuck off Susie or you'll get hurt." Grant told her.

"Oh, such a man are you that you'll beat up on a girl?" Susie mocked him.

"Take your little girly brother out of here before I teach him to hang around." Bobby menaced.

"We're going, little boy, but you should be smart enough to figure out that Ken will rearrange your face if you touch my sister." Susie snarled back.

"Your sister?" Bobby started laughing. "I knew he was a little faggot." Audra's other teammates, except Mike, started laughing as well.

Susie gently tugged Audra, who was still standing in stunned silence. "Let's go."

Audra felt the tears flow as she quietly followed Susie to their bikes. Bobby's mocking voice called after them, "Bye, sissy boy, crybaby!"

With the mocking laughter of her teammates still ringing in her ears, Audra ignored the pain her bike caused as she followed Susie home.

***

"You're an asshole, Grant!" Mike accused as Audra and Susie rode off.

"Shut up, Davidson; are you some kind of faggot too?" Bobby taunted him. "I'll tell you what. We can treat you like one of us or as a little fairy. What do you want?"

"Aaron didn't have a choice."

"So you say. He's always been half girl; this is just some bullshit excuse so that he can pretend to be a girl like he always wanted. Who'd be stupid enough to believe a story like that?"

Mike didn't know what to say. He wanted to believe the story that his mother and Audra had told him, but even he thought it was a little far-fetched. He was still angry about Audra snapping at him earlier that he began to rationalize what Bobby Grant was saying as some sort of truth. "Uh..."

"Exactly! He's just some kind of freak that wants to pretend to be a girl." Bobby asserted.

Mike's mind was assaulted with all of the events that had taken place and he began to accept the easy way out offered by Bobby. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I wouldn't have ever known it, but I guess he just turned into some sissy fairy."

***

Audra had buried herself in her room shortly after arriving home. Marianne was already quizzing Susie on the events.

"I can't believe that they'd be that mean," Marianne exclaimed.

"I know, Mommy, but they were. If it wasn't for the threat of Ken, they might have attacked her," Susie replied.

"I'm going up to see her," Marianne decided, leaving Susie to trail along behind. As they entered Audra's bedroom, they could see a dim glow from under the bathroom door and hear the sounds of crying.

"Audra, open up the door," Marianne requested.

"Please go away," Audra begged as Marianne tried to open the bathroom door only to find it locked.

"Audra, open this door this minute!" Marianne ordered, getting worried.

"No! Please go away," Audra cried again.

Marianne turned to Susie, "Call Ken and get him here now!"

Susie darted off to call her, hoping he was close by.

"Audra! It'll be okay, sweetie, I promise you!" Marianne called through the door.

"It'll never be okay, Mommy, nothing is okay anymore." Audra said softly.

"Audra, open the door! I can help!" Marianne cried, tears rolling down her cheeks as she prayed silently for Ken to hurry up.

"The pain will be gone soon, Mommy. I'm sorry," came the sleepy sounding reply from behind the door.

Ken burst into the bedroom. "Open this door!" Marianne ordered him.

Ken thundered into the door with his large frame, smashing it open only to be greeted with the site of his new sister lying in a pool of her own blood.

"Call an ambulance! Now!" He ordered his mother as he reacted quickly by wrapping towels around Audra's wrists. Fortunately, he realized, she had cut them horizontally rather than along the vein and the bleeding wasn't as profuse as it could have been.

"Hurry up!" He cried as he cradled Audra in his arms, catching the faint sounds of the ambulance in the distance.

Chapter 13: Aftermath

"She's going to be okay, physically, but the mental scars are quite deep," Sheila Coulson told the Wilsons.

James sighed as he looked at his new daughter sleeping, strapped into the hospital bed, her wrists wrapped in bandages. "What can we do?" He asked.

"Right now? I don't know. I have to talk to her and find out what happened." Sheila told him.

"I know some of the events," Marianne said. "Susie was telling me before I found Audra like this."

"What did Susie say?" Sheila asked.

"Her baseball teammates made some very hurtful comments; Susie wouldn't tell me any details. She was quite upset for Audra."

"Hmm... I was afraid something like that might happen. Children can be very hurtful."

***

"Mommy?" Audra croaked our, her throat sore and dry.

"She's not here right now, Audra."

"Sheila?"

"Yes, sweetie. Do you want a sip of ginger ale?"

"Yes, please."

Sheila held the straw to Audra's lips as she drank. "You gave us all quite a scare young lady."

"I'm sorry. I was trying to end the pain."

"I know. It wouldn't have worked though."

"What do you mean?"

"Audra," Sheila explained, "your parents and family love you a great deal. Had you succeeded in suicide, you would have caused them a great deal of pain."

"It hurts so much. How can they be so mean?"

"The kids on your baseball team?"

"Uh huh," Audra nodded.

"Kids can be like that, Audra, but you can't let them win."

"Why am I tied up?" Audra asked, changing the subject suddenly.

"We don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Oh."

"Do you really want to die, Audra?"

"No. I couldn't think of anything else though, it hurt so much. Even Mike..."

"Mike?"

"He was my best friend."

"What did Mike do?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. He didn't even help me!" Audra burst into tears.

Sheila released the straps from the bed and pulled Audra close to her. She gently rocked Audra as she cried out her frustration and hurt from betrayal.

***

"She feels betrayed by Mike, her best friend," Sheila stated.

"Mike? They've always been so close!" Marianne exclaimed.

"Hence the betrayal. When Audra was being verbally attacked by her other teammates, she felt that Mike had not stepped in to defend her."

***

"Michael Davidson!"

The young boy looked up at the figure of his mother standing at the doorway. "What?"

"What did you do?"

Mike looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Audra is in the hospital again."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"She tried to commit suicide."

"What?!?" Mike felt faint.

"Tell me what happened, young man."

***

"So, you thought what Bobby Grant said was reasonable?" June Davidson asked.

"Well, it made sense. It's a pretty weird story." Mike replied, defensively.

"Did you think I would lie to you?"

"Well, no. I..."

"You what? You listened to some juvenile infant who doesn't have a clue?"

"Umm..." Mike was beginning to feel foolish and not a little ashamed of himself, his mother had never lied to him before.

"I think you owe Audra one very large apology."

"I guess so."

"You guess so?"

"You're right, Mom. I'm sorry."

"You're telling that to the wrong person. Let's go."

"Where?"

"To the hospital. You're going to make your apology to the person that deserves it. The person that has deserved far more than you have shown so far."

***

Audra looked up at the knock on the door. "Come in," she directed.

Mike poked his head around the corner, "Hi."

"What do you want?" Audra asked coldly.

Mike winced. "I, uh, wanted to apologize."

Audra continued staring at him.

"Look Audra, I'm really sorry. Honestly. You've been my best friend since we could talk and I should have been there for you. I was an asshole. I could have tried more to defend you, but I was stupid and I was afraid what the others would think."

"Yeah, you should have."

Mike winced, again. "I deserve that. I don't want to lose you as a friend; you've been my brother when I needed you."

Audra snorted at that. "I can hardly be your brother now."

"Well, I've never had a really cool sister either."

Audra laughed, "I guess not."

"Friends?"

"Friends." Audra held out her arms. Mike didn't hesitate, he hugged his best friend.

Chapter 14: Home Again

After a couple of days in the hospital and many sessions with Sheila, Audra was pronounced fit to return home. Marie, the day nurse, entered Audra's room to the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. "Hey cupcake, are you almost ready?" Marie called out.

"I'm coming!" Audra called back as she turned off the shower. She wrapped a towel around her hair as Marie had showed her and dried herself off. Tucking the towel under her arms, she walked into the main room.

"All clean?" Marie smiled.

Audra sniffed under her arm, "I think so."

"Okay scamp, let's get you dressed." Marie laughed.

Audra grimaced at the denim skirt that was laid out on the bed. "None of that missy," Marie told her. "You remember what Sheila said."

Audra sighed, "I know, I have to become more comfortable being a girl."

"That's right. It's important Audra. We all love you dearly, but we'd rather that your visits to the hospital were for good reasons."

Audra stepped into the panties as she nodded at Marie. "No pad?"

"The doctor thinks that you've healed enough not to need it anymore."

"They're more comfy without the pad," Audra noted.

"I know, but they are part of the joys of womanhood."

"Even for me?"

"Well, not in the future since you won't face periods, but at least you have had the experience and that is something."

Audra sighed with relief. Susie had started her periods before the summer and was often cranky. Audra didn't want to have to go through that, knowing that she wouldn't have periods made Audra feel much better about the whole girl thing. While she knew she couldn't have babies, she hadn't made that connection with periods.

Audra put on the skirt and top. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Marie asked.

"What?"

"Your bra. You're just starting, but you need to get used to it."

"Oh." Audra took off her top and struggled into the training bra before putting the top back on.

"Better." Marie smiled.

Just as Audra was doing up her sandals, Marianne and Susie entered the room. "Oh good, you're all dressed." Marianne noted.

"Hi mommy, hi Susie."

"Ready to go home?" Marianne asked.

"Born ready!"

As Marie wheeled Audra down the hall, Susie told her that she looked nice.

"Thanks. Sheila wants me to wear skirts and dresses though."

"What's wrong with that?" Susie asked.

"Nothing, I guess, it's just..."

"You look good in skirts, Audra. You have great legs."

"Susie!" Audra exclaimed.

"Well, you do!"

"I'm only eleven."

"Yeah, but by the time you're my age, the boys will be falling all over themselves to date you."

"I don't want to think about that."

***

"You have to help with keeping an eye on her, Ken," James was explaining.

"I thought Sheila said she was past the suicide bid," Ken commented.

"She is, for now, but the events that triggered it are going to happen again."

"Not unless they enjoy being pretzels!"

"It's life, Ken, she'll get hurt sometimes. Just try to help her past that."

"Right."

"Sounds like they're home." James noted as the two hurried to front door.

"Daddy!" Audra cried as she entered the house.

James swept her into a bear hug. "Welcome back, slugger."

***

"Susie, it's a beautiful day, why don't you and Audra go down to the park?" Marianne suggested.

"Okay. Let's go Audra," Susie agreed.

"Umm..." Audra hedged.

"You need some sun Audra, you've been cooped up in hospital rooms almost all summer and you're looking pale. Summer is almost over and you should enjoy what's left of it while you can," Marianne told her.

"Okay," Audra replied reluctantly as Susie led her out the door.

***

"Relax Audra, you look like you're coming apart at the seams," Susie instructed as they walked to the park.

"I'm nervous. What if Bobby Grant is there?" Audra asked.

"He won't do anything, he's afraid of Ken. Any boy with sense is afraid of Ken."

"Ken isn't here."

"Doesn't matter, Bobby would have a lot of running to do to get away."

Audra looked a bit more reassured. When they got to the park, there was already a large group of kids playing on the equipment and a couple of Susie's friends hanging out on the nearby grass chatting. "Hey, there's Dana and Julie, let's go hang out," Susie suggested. Not having any better ideas, Audra followed her sister over to the two.

"Hey Susie, who's the new girl?" Dana Clarke asked as the two newcomers plopped down into the grass.

"You know her Dana; this is Audra, my sister."

"Sister! I thought you had two brothers," Julie, Dana's twin sister, questioned.

"You didn't hear?" Susie asked as Audra looked uncomfortable.

"Hear what?" Julie asked.

"I heard Bobby Grant mouthing off about Aaron..." Dana trailed off looking at Audra closely. "Aaron?"

Audra shook her head, "Not any more, it's Audra now."

"I don't get it," Julie confessed.

"Bobby said that Mike had claimed that Aaron was really badly hurt and the doctors made him into a girl. Bobby didn't believe it, he figured Aaron was just a sissy and using it as an excuse," Dana explained.

"So, are you a girl?" Julie asked.

"She is," Susie confirmed before Audra could answer. Susie could see that Audra was becoming upset at the direction of the conversation.

"What happened?" Dana asked.

Audra sighed and nodded at Susie to tell the story.

***

The Clarke twins stared at Audra with astonishment and sympathy as Susie finished the tale. For herself, Audra was struggling with the inner demons that arose every time she thought about what had happened and why.

"Oh my God," Julie exclaimed, "that's terrible!"

Audra started crying as the three girls gathered her up. "Hey, don't cry Audra," Dana soothed, "we can help you."

"Help me?" Audra sniffled as she looked at the girls.

"Sure, we'll form a club!"

Susie looked at Dana, not really surprised because Dana was famous for starting clubs, she wanted clubs for everything. Susie figured it was because Dana liked the whole 'secret society' idea of them. "What kind of club?" Susie asked.

Chapter 15: The Girls Club

"So, here's the deal," Dana explained. "Audra is new to this whole girl thing and so she has a lot to learn. We have years of experience being girls, so we can teach her."

"Why do we need a club?" Audra asked.

Dana and Julie looked at Audra like she had grown a second head. "Silly, a club makes it more formal," Julie explained as if that answered the question.

Audra looked confused by the answer, but shrugged. "Okay, but what do I have to learn?"

"Lot's of stuff, you'll see. Being a girl is a lot different than being a boy," Dana assured her.

Audra didn't think so, other than the sitting down to pee thing, but she wisely kept that to herself. Not only that, she was sure that she really didn't have the experience to make that judgment call herself. So, Audra nodded.

"What's first?" Susie asked.

"Shopping!" Dana and Julie chorused at the same time.

"Gee guys, let's hit the biggest stereotype first why don't we," Susie teased.

Dana shrugged, "Shopping's fun. Do you think Ken'll take us?"

"I don't know, we can ask..." Susie hedged.

"Cool, let's go!"

Audra followed the girls with a sinking feeling that control of her life was slipping out of her grasp. Still, the enthusiasm from the Clarke twins and the fact that Audra really needed some new friends helped her decide to go along.

***

Ken looked up from the book he was reading poolside as several shadows darkened him. Staring up at four girls, Ken figured that the only possible thing that they could want was for him to take them to the mall. Sighing, Ken asked, "What's up?"

"How would you like to help our new club?" Dana asked him.

"In what way?"

"Well, we're trying to teach Audra about being a girl," Susie started to explain.

"And what better way to start than at the mall!" Julie filled in.

Ah ha, Ken thought to himself, I knew it. "What does the mall have to do with that?" He asked.

"It's a girl thing," Dana assured him.

Ken rolled his eyes as he thought about it. "Okay, but you two have to ask your parents first," he agreed.

"Oh, thank you! We already did," Dana smiled at him.

Ken thought that Audra didn't look especially thrilled with the idea of shopping, but he figured that she needed to get out and about with girls close to his age and begin learning. Getting up from the lounge chair, he smiled at his new sister and gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder. "Alright, meet me at the car; I have to get changed first."

***

Ken dropped the girls off at the entrance. "I'm going to park the car and hang out at the video games store or the book store. Come find me when you're ready to go."

"Okay," Susie told him, "we'll see you later. Let's go!"

"Where to first?" Julie asked.

***

Audra trailed the other three girls around the department store as they began digging through the huge racks of clothing. It was just like any other shopping experience, Audra decided, boring, boring, and more boring.

"Hey Audra, why aren't you looking?" Dana asked.

"I dunno..."

"Well, get a grip, girl, this is a part of your training!"

"Umm, okay." Audra began casually browsing through the racks of clothing, without really seeing anything that would even begin to interest her.

Susie poked her head up from a rack. "Did you find anything?" She asked Audra.

Audra grabbed the first thing her hand came in contact with and pulled it out. It was a skirt with black and red vertical stripes.

"You can't wear that!" Julie told her as the other three looked at her selection.

"Why not?"

Julie sighed, "You're too thin and the stripes will make you look like a pipe cleaner."

"I don't get it."

"Stripes are tricky," Julie explained. "Vertical stripes make you look slimmer and horizontal stripes make you look wider."

"I thought it was good to look slim."

"It is, when you need the help, and you don't need the help."

"What should I be looking for then? I don't know anything about girl's clothes."

Dana put her arm around Audra's shoulders. "Well, my dear, solids are what you need. Let me show you..."

***

"Come on Audra, let us see!" Susie called into the change room.

"It's too short!"

"It's supposed to be short, it's a mini-skirt! That's why they call it mini!"

"I still think it's too short."

"Just come out and let us see," Susie instructed.

Reluctantly, Audra came out of the change room trying to tug the red skirt lower. It must have been at least four inches above her knee and she felt completely exposed wearing it. She blushed at the sudden wolf whistles from the three other girls.

"Wow, that's hot!" Dana declared.

"I'm only eleven; I'm not supposed to be hot."

"Nonsense," Dana decided. "You won't be eleven forever. It fits perfect."

"Well, mom would kill me if I let her buy it," Susie noted. Audra sighed in relief and hurried back into the change room.

"Spoilsport," Dana told Susie with a grin.

"Shopping is making me hungry," Julie commented. "Let's go to the food court when Audra comes out." The other girls nodded in agreement.

***

The four girls found a table to eat their lunch. Susie had convinced Audra to go a bit lighter than her usual up-sized burger and fries combination. "Trust me Audra; girls have to watch their weight. If you keep eating that stuff you'll balloon right up. Nobody treats big girls nicely." Reluctantly, Audra got a chicken salad and diet pop, if only to shut Susie up.

"You know what we need to do?" Dana asked in general.

"What?" Susie prompted.

"We need to have a sleepover!"

"That's perfect! Let me ask my mom, but we have to have it my place," Susie told her.

"Why?"

"Well, Audra has some medical stuff to do at night and it's easier for her at home."

"Oh."

A shadow fell over the table. "Well, well, if it isn't the sissy-boy."

"What do you want, Bobby?" Susie snarled at him.

"Oh, nothing much, me and my pals decided to have some fun."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, we have a little sissy here and it's fun to pick on sissies."

"Audra isn't a sissy!" Dana exclaimed.

"My sister doesn't need your crap, Bobby," Susie told him.

Bobby laughed at them. "Little boy playing at being a girl. Maybe we should teach him how to be a girl, huh guys?" The four other boys clustered behind Bobby laughed.

"Maybe if you run now, Ken won't rip your head off," Susie warned.

Bobby snapped Audra's bra. "Look, the little sissy is wearing a bra too! Skirts, panties, bra, you're a real something there Wilson."

"Leave me alone, Bobby, I haven't done anything to you!" Audra cried.

"Aw, poor little sissy-boy," Bobby mocked. "I ain't afraid of Ken."

"Really?" Ken asked as he lifted Bobby by the scruff of his neck. Ken had wandered down to the food court because he'd gotten thirsty and had spotted the girls being harassed by the five boys. "You're not very smart are you, Grant?"

"Let me go, we weren't doing anything!" The other boys started to back away.

"Bullshit! Let me explain something to you little assholes: if I even catch word of you picking on my sisters I'll make you look like a pretzel. And just so it's really clear to you, Audra is my sister through no fault of her own. She has more guts than you little cowards could ever hope to have and you had better make it a policy to stay away from her. Get it?"

"Yes," Bobby squeaked out.

Ken dropped him. "Now get lost before I change my mind and feed you to the garbage can." The five took off, but not before Bobby Grant flashed Audra a dark look full of hate, a look only Audra and Dana, who sat beside her, saw.

***

"Why is Bobby Grant so hard on her?" Marianne asked.

"He's just a bully," Ken stated.

"He's like his father. His father is a bigot and a bully and he's teaching his son to be like that," James told them both.

"Why? He's well educated and carries a respected position in the community."

"I don't know Mari. Education doesn't always change someone's basic nature."

"Well, the girls want to have a sleepover tonight and I think it would be a great idea," Mari informed James in a complete non sequitur.

"Oh no, four teen or pre-teen girls? Here?" Ken exclaimed.

James laughed at him, "You're too big for them to do anything mean to."

"It's the noise..."

"Oh, stuff it you two!" Mari exclaimed, shaking her head in amusement.

Chapter 16: I thought this was a sleepover!

Dana and Julie had rushed home and grabbed their overnight stuff in record time. They had both figured that this was going to be a novel experience for the two of them, given the changes Audra had gone through, and they were excited. After all, it's not often that newly minted teenage girls get a chance to be the wise teachers of womanly arts!

After the twins had returned, the four girls had gathered in Susie's room to plan the evening out.

"Okay, because Audra is new to all of this, we need a plan for her education," Dana explained.

"A plan?" Audra asked, a little nervous.

"Sure! I mean, you aren't going to learn everything in one night, but we can have a crash course in some of the basic things."

"Like what?"

"Well, there's makeup, clothes, how to walk, boys..."

"Boys?!?" Audra practically shouted.

"Yes, boys!" Susie chimed in. "You need to start learning about boys."

"I already know all about boys."

"No you don't!" Came the response in unison from the three girls.

"Look Audra," Susie explained, "you only know boys from one side of the fence, but you are on the other side now. I know you're only eleven, but you're pretty and will get prettier as you get older. Boys are going to hit on you; it's just the way they're wired."

"They won't hit on me," Audra insisted. "I'm not really a girl."

"Hah, have you looked in a mirror lately?" Julie asked.

"Looking like one and being one are different. I can't have babies you know."

"Do you think that's all there is to being a woman, Audra?" Marianne asked from the doorway.

"Um..."

"Let me help you a bit sweetheart, I don't think you understand what being a woman means. I think it's time we had this discussion. Come with me for a little bit. I promise, girls, that I'll bring her right back."

"Um, okay, mommy."

Marianne led Audra to her bedroom and sat her on the bed. "Many women, Audra, go through life unable to bear children. Sometimes it is an injury, sometimes it is just an accident of nature, and sometimes it's deliberate. However it happens, it happens. Not all men can father children either and for the same reasons. Being unable to bear children doesn't make a woman less a woman anymore than being unable to father children makes a man less a man. Being a woman is a state of being, it is both conscious and subconscious, and is defined by much more than a womb."

Audra nodded silently, but her mind was beginning to trace a path through this explanation.

Marianne continued, "Part of being a woman is caring and loving, nurturing the life around them. You have a lot of that in you already."

"Why was I made into a girl, mommy, when fathering children doesn't make you a man? I don't understand."

Marianne sighed, she had dreaded this question and her sharp-minded child had seen the implication quickly. "One of the great treasures of life, Audra, is the ability to meet someone and become intimate with them. You're a little young to understand what that means, but as you grow older it will become clearer."

"You're right mommy, I don't understand."

"Audra, the options that the doctor gave us left us with three choices. Two of those choices would have taken away the ability of you to experience the intimacy that adults in love experience. The third option, the one we chose, gave you a chance to have that. Knowing what we know, we couldn't take that chance away."

"But I wasn't meant to be a girl."

"Perhaps, but can you be sure? Maybe this is the direction that God has chosen for you. You are beautiful and loving. You possess the abilities within you to be a wonderful woman. This doesn't make Aaron less of man than he might have become, don't ever believe that, but Audra is as much a woman as Aaron was a man and that makes you very special."

Audra hugged her mother. "Thank you, mommy."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Now why don't you run along back to the sleepover?"

"Okay," Audra smiled.

***

"Hey, I thought this was a sleepover!" Julie grumped.

"I'm sorry," Audra apologized.

Dana waved it away. "No big deal. Where were we? Oh yeah, boys!"

Audra groaned.

"No, really, you've got to learn about boys."

"Okay," Audra sighed, "What's the big deal about boys?"

"Well, right now they're kind of dirty and smelly, but that changes," Julie inserted.

"Huh?"

Susie smacked Julie on the head. "Don't listen to her, not all boys are dirty and smelly. Anyways, at some point, boys start to become interesting to girls and girls start to become interesting to boys."

"Yeah, Mike is hot!" Dana inserted, blushing.

"What?!?" Audra asked, surprised.

"Well, he is!" Dana asserted defensively.

"He's too young for you," Susie noted.

"Hah! He's only a year younger than me."

Audra started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Dana demanded.

"He doesn't like girls."

"That'll change," Dana said confidently.

"Oh?"

"Yep. That's what we're trying to tell you. The boys in my class make themselves silly trying to impress us girls, but the year before you would have thought that we carried a disease."

"Um..." Audra blushed, "Well, I guess that's true. I mean that's how us guys thought anyways. You know, cooties and all."

"Well girl, you've got 'em now!" Julie laughed as the others giggled.

"So, why do I have to worry about boys? They'll all know what happened."

"Because, silly, you'll be too cute for them to remember," said Susie.

"Huh?"

"She's a little slow, you know," Julie said in a stage whisper to Dana, winking at Audra.

"Boy's don't think with their brains when they get to that age," Susie explained further.

"I don't get it."

The three other girls gave dramatic sighs at the same time. "They think with their willy," Dana added.

"How would they do that?" Audra asked innocently, sending the others off into peals of laughter. "Well? I don't know what that means!"

"Um..." Susie paused, realizing that she really didn't get it either. "It means that they only think of sex."

"Really?"

"I think so." Susie didn't sound entirely convinced.

"Didn't Audra get new clothes?" Julie asked, distracting everyone.

Audra nodded.

"Fashion show! Fashion show!"

What makes a girl behave like a girl? What makes a bully?

Audra: A New Life

by Joanne Foxcourt

Part 4 - Being Afraid

All the usual copyright and "viewing if you're legal" rules apply. There is no sex in this story, the character is far too young, but there is implied violence. It is a work of fiction and all the characters are fictional, any similarities to the living are chance.

Chapter 17: I'm a model, you know what I mean...

Audra groaned, "Again? I had to try them all on in the store."

"We didn't see it," Dana noted in a way that ended the debate.

The girls followed Audra to her room. "Cool room!" Julie stated as they entered, her eyes seeing the blend of the boy and the girl.

"Where's the makeup?" Dana asked suddenly as Julie made a bee-line to the closet.

"Makeup?" Audra looked surprised.

"Yeah, you have a makeup table with no makeup?"

"Is that what that table is?"

"Sure, the mirrors and lights help you see what you're doing. What did you think it was?"

Audra shrugged, "I never really thought about it."

"Hey! Check out this dress, it's gorgeous!" Julie exclaimed, pulling out the pink, satin, dress that Audra had first tried on at Top Dress.

"Audra looks great in that," Susie told them.

"Oh, show us!" Julie insisted.

Audra gathered up the dress and petticoats and started towards the bathroom trying not to look like a condemned prisoner going to their execution.

"Where are you going?" Susie asked.

"To get changed," Audra responded.

"Change here, we'll help with the petticoats and zippers."

"But..."

"Audra, relax, it's just girls here and you have no surprises."

"But... okay," Audra sighed, realizing that she probably would need help with this particular dress. Blushing, she took off her outer clothing as Susie prepared the petticoats for Audra.

Dana peered at Audra intently. "Wow, it is true," She remarked, seeing that Audra didn't have the tell-tale bulge in her underwear that even young boys have.

"What do you mean?" Audra asked.

"Um... well... I mean, what we heard today was pretty intense, you know, and until you really see, it seems hard to... you know... believe," Dana stammered.

"Satisfied?"

"I'm sorry, Audra. I didn't mean it in a bad way. It's not like everyday you hear of such things, you know."

"It's okay. I forgive you," Audra sighed. She realized that she was going to face this disbelief for some time.

Audra stepped into the petticoats that Susie held out as Julie held up the dress. Once the petticoats were tied off, Audra then pulled the dress over her shoulders and tugged it down into place. Susie then zipped up the back.

The three other girls stepped back. "Wow," Dana remarked, "That looks great on you!"

"Do you have shoes for it?" Julie asked.

"I do, just a sec..." Audra dug around for the shoes and held them up.

"Well, put them on silly!" Julie laughed.

Blushing from the laugh, Audra put on the shoes and, once again, felt that off-balance pull of the heels.

"Oh yeah, that's gorgeous," Dana said and was echoed with nods from the other two. "Okay, walk around a bit."

Audra tried walking in the heels, but her gait was unsteady.

"Um... You need some help with walking in heels," Dana stated.

"No guff!" Audra exclaimed.

"Okay, the problem is that you walk like a boy. You can't clomp around in heels like you're a horse, you have to try and glide a little. You want to have your toe come down just ever so slightly before your heel. You might have to wiggle your hips a bit too."

Audra tried following the instructions.

"Hey, I said wiggle, not vibrate!" Dana corrected. "Here, I'll show you."

Audra kicked off the heels and Dana tried them on. They weren't a perfect fit, but close enough for the demonstration. Dana then began walking with a slight swaying motion in her hips, not very exaggerated, but just enough to help her balance on the heel.

"Do you see?" Dana asked Audra.

"I think so," Audra responded dubiously.

"Okay, try again."

Audra slipped on the shoes and tried the instructions again, taking a few steps with much less wobble than before.

"Much better! You need to practice though," Dana praised.

"These shoes aren't very comfortable."

"The price of beauty, my dear," Dana claimed as she fluffed her hair to the giggles of the others. "Men love heels on women. I think it's wired into their brains."

"It's starting to get late, girls. You should probably start getting ready for bed," Marianne told them from the doorway. "I'll help Audra out of her new dress. She needs to look after a few things before she joins you. Okay?"

"Okay mom." "Okay Mrs. Wilson."

Chapter 18: Aren't we a team?

Mike Davidson had felt pretty bad about the way he had treated Audra, or failed to treat Audra. He had let her down and that was bothering him. It was with that frame of mind that he showed up at his baseball practice as Audra and her sister were heading to the playgrounds that day.

"Hey, Davidson, how's your boyfriend?" Bobby Grant taunted Mike as he arrived.

"Fuck you, Grant."

"What's the matter? You don't like it when we tease your boyfriend?"

"First, Audra is a girl. Second, she's my friend, not my girlfriend."

Bobby and his cronies just laughed at him. "Yeah, right, Davidson. You're just another fairy, like Wilson."

Mike snapped. Already feeling bad about how he had failed to come to Audra's rescue the first time, he was primed to fight the second time. Jumping Bobby, he started swing hard and his fury overwhelmed the other boy. Before any major damage could be done, Mike was yanked off of Bobby.

"What's going on here?" Daniel Clarke, their coach demanded.

"This nutcase just jumped me and started swinging," Bobby insisted.

"Mike?"

"He was making fun of Audra, like before."

"Who?" Coach Clarke asked.

"Audra, I mean, Aaron."

"I don't understand. Aaron? Audra?"

"Call my mom, she can explain," Mike insisted.

"You and Bobby stay here, the rest of you I want to you do five laps around the field," Coach Clarke instructed as he took out his cell phone and dialed Mike's parents. "Hi, June? Daniel Clarke here... Well, Mike and Bobby Grant got into a fight and I'm trying to figure out why... Mike was talking about Aaron being Audra or something like that..."

Mike and Bobby watched their coach as he listened to the explanation. It was pretty obvious to the two of them that the coach was shaken by what he heard.

"I see... That's terrible. Thanks June... No, I'll settle it." Coach Clarke hung up.

Coach Clarke turned to regard the two boys. "What happened? And it had better be the truth."

"Bobby was making fun of Audra, calling her names and stuff," Mike insisted.

"Is this true?" Coach Clarke asked Bobby.

"Hey, I was just joking around," Bobby replied defensively. "I didn't mean nothing by it."

"It's not the first time! Just after Audra got out of the hospital, Bobby teased her and threatened to beat her up if she came around here again."

"Again, is this true?"

"I was just joking," Bobby muttered.

"You're off the team," Coach Clarke told him.

"What?!? You can't do that!" Bobby cried.

"I can do what I want. This is a team and you have damaged it. If you can't support your teammate in a time of crisis, you're of no use to us. That Audra had no choice in this matter makes it even worse in my opinion and I won't have you on this team because of it. Take your things and go."

"Another faggot lover like Davidson is all you are!" Bobby swore at him. "I'll get even with you, Davidson, you watch out." Bobby took off out of the park at a run.

***

At the end of the practice, Coach Clarke gathered the players together. "Alright, I've kicked Bobby Grant off the team. A teammate was very seriously hurt and spent many weeks in the hospital. This teammate went through a life-changing experience that I think none of us would ever want to face. I think you all know that Aaron was changed into a girl because of these injuries."

Coach Clarke paused and looked around at the faces gathered about. "Instead of supporting and helping a teammate, Bobby Grant chose to ridicule and threaten. That is not how teams work, especially teams that I coach. I'm going to make this crystal clear to all of you: I will not tolerate the kicking of a teammate when he or she is down. Aaron is now Audra and she should be able to expect the support of her teammates through this crisis. If you can't do this, don't show up for the next game. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir!" chorused the team.

***

Mike was cornered after the coach left. "It's your fault, Davidson!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You got Bobby kicked off the team for that freak," asserted David Ames, one of Bobby's cronies.

Before Mike could answer, several of his other teammates stepped in. "The coach is right and you assholes don't deserve to be on this team," Jason Stewart, the team captain, told them.

"Yeah? Well fuck you. We ain't going to be screwed around with for some fairy freak. You can keep your faggot team," David told him as he and his friends stalked off.

"Good riddance," Jason muttered.

Chapter 19: How do you feel?

"How did the sleepover go?" Sheila Coulson asked Audra.

"Okay, I guess," Audra replied. "It's not the same."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when Mike and I did sleepovers, we'd play video games or something. This one was talking and trying on clothes."

"Did that bother you?"

"No. I don't think so. It just didn't feel right," Audra mused as she played with the hem of her shorts.

"Because it was girls?"

"I guess."

"How do you feel?" Sheila asked.

"I don't know. Sometimes I feel okay."

"Sometimes?"

"When I forget."

"When you forget?"

"That I'm a girl now. Sometimes I forget that and I feel better until I remember."

"It takes time, Audra."

"I know. I pray every night."

"To feel better about this?"

"No, to become a boy again," Audra revealed. "It never happens though."

"Is being a girl so bad?"

"No, but being a boy is better."

"Why?"

"I don't know, it just is, I can't explain why."

Sheila looked at her young patient thoughtfully. "You know that there's nothing that you can't do as a girl that you could do as a boy," Sheila mentioned.

***

"Come in Audra," Doctor Caine smiled as Audra and Marianne dutifully followed him into the examination room. "How do you feel?"

"I'm okay Doctor Caine."

"Have a seat," Doctor Caine smiled again. "Have you been keeping up with your stents?"

Audra nodded.

"Good. Are they still causing you pain or is it getting better?"

"It's getting better."

"Okay Audra, if you can get changed into the gown behind the screen, we'll take a look and see if everything is healed up correctly."

***

Marianne stroked her daughter's hair as she felt Audra's grip on her hand tighten as the doctor examined her in the stirrups. Tears of both pain and humiliation streamed down Audra's cheeks and Marianne's heart nearly broke as she watched her former son face an experience should would have never have dreamed of.

***

The doctor helped Audra up and gave her some Kleenex. "I'm sorry Audra. I know that was difficult, but it was necessary. You've healed nicely and I'm very pleased about that. Why don't you get dressed now?" Doctor Caine told her sympathetically.

Audra nodded as she dried her tears and went behind the screen to get changed.

"Everything is fine, then, Doctor Caine?" Marianne asked.

"It is. I'll need to re-examine her in six months and then we can move to annual examinations. It's important, though, that she continue the hygiene and stents routine that she has been doing. We should have the blood tests back in a couple of days, but I think everything there will be fine as well. Audra looks quite healthy and robust."

Marianne smiled gratefully. "I have to take her back up to Sheila now. She wanted to talk to her after this appointment."

"Very wise."

***

"How do you feel?"

Audra burst into tears. "That was horrible!"

Sheila put her arms around Audra and allowed her to cry herself out for a few minutes. "How do you feel now?"

Audra sniffled, "Better, I guess."

"That's good. Sometimes a good cry helps. You should remember that. Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's embarrassing."

"I know. No woman enjoys that experience."

"You have to do it too?" Audra asked, surprised.

"Oh yes, it's a fact of life for women. It's a little different for you, but not much different, and you are younger than most."

Somehow, knowing that this wasn't an experience unique to her, Audra felt better. "Thank you, Sheila."

"For what?"

"For making me feel not alone."

"You're welcome, Audra."

Chapter 20: How dare you!

"Hey, Clarke! I want a word with you!"

Daniel Clarke sighed as he turned around in the grocery store to face Robert Grant, Bobby's father. "What can I do for you Robert?" Daniel had been expecting to hear from Robert Grant ever since he had thrown Bobby off the team. He had, however, been hoping for a less public confrontation.

"What right did you have to throw my son off the team?"

"I'm the coach, that's what right."

"He didn't do anything wrong!"

"I beg to differ. He verbally assaulted and threatened a teammate and I won't stand for that."

"He denies it."

"I have plenty of witnesses."

"That person isn't even a teammate!"

"Audra is still a teammate even if she can't play. I won't tolerate players on my team treating each other in that manner, especially after what Audra went through."

"How dare you defend some freak of science over my son!"

Daniel stiffened. "This conversation is ended. I have made my decision and Bobby is no longer a member of this team. Take your bigotry, Mister Grant, somewhere else."

"You haven't heard the last of this, Clarke."

***

"Daniel! Come in! It's nice to see you again," Marianne smiled as she opened the front door.

"Hi Mari, how are you doing? How's Audra?" Daniel Clarke asked.

"We're both fine. What brings you around for a visit?"

"I needed to talk to you and James about some recent events. Is he around?"

"He's in the sitting room, reading," said Marianne as she led Daniel to the room.

***

"So, what's the problem Dan?" James asked.

"It's not a problem, as such, but I thought I should talk to you about Bobby Grant and his father."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I kicked Bobby off the baseball team yesterday."

"I see..."

"He's been quite malicious towards Audra, and Mike Davidson for defending her. I don't tolerate that amongst teammates."

"I take it Robert confronted you?" asked James.

Daniel nodded, "Today, in the grocery store. There's a lot of hate there, I thought you should know."

"I don't understand why they hate Audra," stated Marianne. "She's done nothing to them!"

"I don't understand either, Mari," Daniel agreed. "Is Audra around? I should talk to her as well. Unfortunately, I have to tell her the bad news."

"I don't think she's realized it yet," Marianne sighed. "I'll go get her."

***

"Hi Coach Clarke, you wanted to see me?" Audra asked as she entered the sitting room.

"Hi Audra, I did."

"I can't play anymore, can I?" Audra asked with sudden realization.

Daniel sighed, "I'm afraid no,t Audra. I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to tell you this. You're still a teammate though and we'd like you to be a part of that, but it's a boy's league and... well..." He waved his arms helplessly.

"I understand. Would you excuse me, please?" Audra asked.

Daniel nodded, looking sad as Audra fled the room.

***

"What's the matter?" Susie asked from the doorway as Audra cried into her pillow.

"I can't play ball anymore!" Audra cried at her.

"Why?"

"It's a boy's league!"

"Oh," Susie replied as she suddenly realized that fact. "Can't you play in a girl's league?"

"There aren't any around here and besides, it's not the same."

"That sucks!" Susie pronounced.

"I hate being a girl! Hate it!" Audra spat.

"I can't talk to you like this."

"Too bad."

"Audra, it's not my fault. It's not Coach Clarke's either. It's nobody's fault, it just is."

"I don't care. Sheila told me I could do anything I want as a girl, but I can't even play baseball with my team!"

"She didn't mean it that way. She meant that girls can play ball too, in their leagues." Susie told her.

"It's stupid!"

"Yeah, it is, but that's the rules. Look, girls have gotten along without baseball for a long time. There are other things, you know."

"Like what? Dolls and dress-up?" Audra asked sarcastically.

"That can be fun. Did you have such a bad time last night?"

Audra paused. "No."

"Did you have fun?"

"I... I guess so..." Audra said, starting to look thoughtful.

"See, there are things," Susie declared.

"I love baseball! You don't understand!"

"No, I don't! So what if you can't play baseball? You can do other things!" Susie shouted.

"Leave me alone!" Audra cried, turning back to her pillow.

"Argh!" Susie stomped from the room.

Chapter 21: Why people hate

"Get in here boy!" Robert Grant shouted at his son.

Bobby Grant reluctantly dragged himself into the living room of his house. He knew what was coming and dreaded it more than anything.

"Are you some kind of freak? Are you?" Robert shouted.

"I'm sorry," Bobby mumbled.

"Sorry don't cut it. I didn't raise my son to be some sort of pussy! What did I tell you would happen last time you did this?"

"I don't remember..." Bobby remembered all to well, but fear of his father held his tongue.

Robert removed his belt from around his waist. "Pull down your pants. If I can't teach you to be a man, I'll beat it into you!"

Bobby slowly, and reluctantly, undid his pants and pulled them down from his waist.

"Again?!? Holy shit boy!"

Bobby's face went red from embarrassment and shame even as Robert's fist connected with Bobby's cheek. As he started to lose consciousness from his father's beating, all he could hear was "you fucking freak" over and over again.

***

"Why do you do it Bobby?" Amy, Bobby's sister asked as he came to in the living room with the sounds of his father shouting at his mother in the distance. She was tenderly wiping his face with a cold wash cloth, hoping to keep the bruising on his face from swelling too much.

"I don't know. I can't help it," he whispered as he struggled to pull up his pants without losing consciousness again.

Robert stormed back into the living room. "Get your pansy ass upstairs and get changed. If I catch you in your sister's panties again, I'll rip your dick off and make you look like that Wilson freak. Have you got it?"

Bobby nodded as he pulled himself up and slowly made his way from the room.

***

"I hate him."

"Me too," Amy replied. Both were avoiding their father as best they could after Bobby had gotten changed.

"I'm going to kill him," Bobby stated quietly.

"And become like him?"

"What else can I do?"

"Why did you pick on Audra?" Amy suddenly asked.

"He'd beat me if I didn't."

Amy nodded.

"He hates Audra because he thinks that's what I'll become."

"Do you hate her?"

"No, but her just being there makes my life hell."

"Yeah. You're going to have a wicked shiner," Amy noted.

"I know. That bastard."

***

"Good afternoon. Doctor Coulson's office," Sheila said as she answered the phone.

"Sheila? It's Marianne Wilson calling," Marianne said from the other end of the connection.

"Marianne! What can I do for you? Is everything okay with Audra?"

"Audra's fine, though a bit upset at not being able to play baseball with her old team. That's not why I called though."

"What's the matter?"

"Audra's former coach stopped by. One of her ex-teammates has been really rough on her and was kicked off the team. His father confronted the coach and said some really nasty things about Audra. Nasty enough that the coach thought he should warn us. He said that the hate there was very real."

"Hate is a very strong term," Sheila noted. "People don't usually develop that kind of issue without something in their background to cause it. Do you have any idea why?"

"I wish I did. Robert Grant, the father, is quite a well-respected businessman, though he has a reputation for being difficult to work with. I don't know why he would have such hate without even knowing Audra, and why he would push his son in that direction."

"Is he abusive?"

"I don't know. Judy, his wife, is pretty shy at social functions. She seldom talks much to anyone," Marianne told her.

"That's not a good sign. It sometimes indicates an abusive household."

"Really? She doesn't look abused."

"Abuse isn't always physical. I have some friends in the Social Services department and I'm going to ask them to check out this Robert Grant. This sort of reaction to an uncontrolled injury is suspicious."

"Thank you, Sheila," Marianne replied.

"My pleasure. Say hello to Audra for me."

"I will," Marianne promised as the two hung up.

Chapter 22: Signs

Audra answered the ring of the doorbell. "Mike!"

"Hey, Audra, how's it going?" Mike asked.

"Okay, I guess."

"The team heard. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I should have figured it out," Audra told him.

"Coach Clarke kicked Bobby off the team."

"He did? Why?"

"Because Bobby was picking on you."

"Oh no!"

"Why? It's good that Bobby is off the team," Mike stated.

"It's only going to make it worse."

Mike thought about that for a second, "Maybe."

"No 'maybe' about it."

"Yeah."

"Do you want to go swimming?" Audra asked suddenly.

***

"Missus Grant?" The lady at the door asked.

"Yes?" Judy Grant asked, curious at a having a caller early on a Wednesday. Robert had already left for work and the two kids were in the kitchen eating.

"Good morning, I'm sorry to disturb you. My name is June Marsden and I'm from the Social Services department."

"My goodness! Please, come in. What brings you around to our house?"

"Thank you, Missus Grant," June replied as she entered. "Well, this is a difficult thing to discuss, but we've received some tips about your husband that has us quite concerned."

Judy Grant stiffened, "What sort of tips?"

"The person who contacted us has reason to believe that your husband may be abusing your children."

***

"Who's at the door?" Amy asked as Bobby peeked through from the kitchen.

"Some stranger, I've never seen her before."

"Weird."

"Shut up, I'm trying to listen," Bobby instructed.

***

"I think your caller must be mistaken," Judy Grant replied woodenly.

"That's what we're trying to ascertain," June Marsden replied gently. "Please believe me, we don't simply come calling unless our information has some credibility."

"Well, whoever they are, they're wrong!"

June studied the other woman closely. Judy Grant was showing some definite signs of somebody who was experiencing a lot of fear. Her eyes darted about and her hands were wringing endlessly. "I see," June commented.

"I think you had better leave."

"Alright, Missus Grant. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

***

Mike followed Audra up to her room. "Did you bring your suit?" Audra asked.

"Uh huh, like I usually do," Mike replied.

Audra dug out her new swimsuit from her dresser. "I'll change in the bathroom. Knock when you're dressed," she told Mike as she headed to her bathroom. Audra examined the one piece swimsuit in front of her. It was a light blue, medium leg cut, with cross-over straps at the back. "This is going to feel weird," she muttered as she climbed out of her shorts and top.

As she tugged the suit on, she heard the knock at the door. "Be right out," she told Mike. Pulling the suit into place, she examined herself in the mirror. Staring back was that cute girl again. Audra stuck out her tongue and was rewarded with the same in return. Giggling at her private joke, she left the bathroom.

"You look good," Mike told her.

"Yech! You're supposed to be my best friend, not admiring me!" Audra told him, laughing.

Mike shrugged, "Girls have cooties anyways, but you look good." He smiled as Audra punched him on the arm.

"Let's go swimming before I kill you!" Audra told him. Laughing, they ran down to the pool.

***

"I'm sure of it," June Marsden told Sheila over the phone.

"How sure are you ,June?" Sheila Coulson asked.

"The signs are there, she was incredibly nervous and fearful, more than I would have expected under the circumstances. I also caught a glimpse of her son as he tried to listen in on us."

"What did you see?"

"The boy had a definite bruise on his face."

"I understand that he's something of a bully, it may just be from a fight."

"Perhaps, but his being a bully is another sign."

"It's thin, June, very thin," Sheila noted.

"I know, but instinct is nagging me on this one."

"Your instincts are usually sound."

***

Audra and Mike splashed around the pool. Mike hadn't said anything, but he was still stunned from Audra's appearance. If he had harbored any doubts that Audra was a girl, they were gone. Audra definitely did not have the body of a boy.

"Hey! Pool party?" Susie shouted from the patio doors.

"Sure!" Audra shouted back as Mike nodded in agreement. Susie ducked back inside to make some phone calls.

Chapter 23: It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to...

By the time Susie had finished making phone calls, a crowd of pre-teen and early teen kids had already arrived. It was one of those hot summer days that just seemed to create the need for kids to be a pool and all of them jumped at the chance to swim in the Wilson pool, widely acknowledged to be the best in the neighborhood.

Susie and Dana dragged a cooler full of ice and pop from the patio door as Julie plugged in the stereo and tuned it to a local radio station. Shortly, loud teeny-bopper music came pouring out of the speakers as Ken, who was sent out to supervise, winced in pain. Ken was a classic rock fanatic and found modern music to be formulaic, repetitive, and boring. Sighing to himself, Ken settled into a lawn chair. This is going to be a long day, he thought to himself.

Audra climbed out of the pool and went to lounge on one of the chairs. She was still feeling self-conscious about her appearance, especially in something as revealing as a bathing suit, but she figured that nobody would pay attention to her while she was on the chairs.

"Hey."

Apparently, Audra decided to herself, I was wrong. She looked up to see the smiling face of Jason Stewart looking down towards her. "Hey Jase, how's it going?"

Jason sat down in the chair beside her. "It's going good," he mentioned.

"Cool."

"It's true, huh?" Jason asked.

Audra sighed. "Yes, it's true."

Jason grunted in a typical boyish manner. "What's it like?"

"What is what like?" Audra asked, looking at him.

"Being a girl, I guess."

"What do you think it's like?" Audra asked crossly.

"I dunno. I'm sorry. I don't mean it that way. It's just, well..."

"I hate it."

"Why?" Jason asked before he could stop himself.

Audra stared at him.

"I mean," Jason stammered, "you're pretty and smart..."

"You think I'm pretty?" Audra asked, incredulous.

"Well, yeah, I do."

"Um... I'll be right back." Audra fled to the house.

Susie watched her sister run to the house as she stomped up to where Jason was sitting. "What did you say to her?"

"Nothing!" Jason replied, defensively. "I just said that she was pretty."

Susie rolled her eyes, "Boys!"

"What?!?" Jason looked around. "I don't get it!"

Susie ran after her sister.

***

"Audra, what's the problem?" Susie asked after she had caught up.

"Nothing." Audra replied tersely.

"You're crying! Something must be wrong."

"Nothing is wrong. Nothing!"

"Is it what Jason said?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know!"

"You are, you know. Pretty, I mean," Susie told her.

"He's a boy!" Audra shouted.

"So?"

"I'm a boy!"

"You are not! You're a girl! Why can't you accept the facts?"

Audra raised her tear streaked face and looked at Susie. "I'm neither, I'm a freak. I was made into a girl, but I never wanted to be one. I don't fit in with boys or girls now. I don't know how to be a girl and I'm not allowed to be a boy."

"I..."

"Just leave me alone right now, Susie."

***

Susie wandered back out to the pool party feeling depressed. Jason hadn't meant any harm with his comment, but Audra was obviously still having a hard time and wasn't prepared to hear them.

"Is she okay, Susie?" Jason asked anxiously.

"She'll be okay, just give her a minute," Susie told him.

"What did I do wrong?"

Susie sighed. "Nothing, really. Audra just isn't ready to have a boy tell her she's pretty."

"Oh."

Chapter 24: Acceptance

"Hey, sport! Why aren't you out at the pool?" Ken asked as he wandered into the kitchen.

"I just needed to be alone for a while," Audra told him.

"Is that why you ran off?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe? What did Jason say?" Ken asked.

"He said I was pretty," Audra said.

"And?"

"He's a boy!"

"You know, Audra, life didn't end with him telling you that you're pretty."

"I know. It's just that it, well, feels strange."

"You know, more than anything, I wish this hadn't happened," Ken told her seriously.

"Yeah, I know."

"No, you don't. I would have never have wished this on you in a million years, but there is something more special about you now that it's happened."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I can't put my finger on it, but it's there. Other people see it too. I think Jason saw it."

"I don't understand," Audra replied, confused.

"Neither do I. All I know is, as great a guy as Aaron was, Audra has become him and more. Why don't you come back out to the pool and have some fun. You could use some, you know."

Audra nodded absently and Ken could see that she was thinking about what he had said.

***

"Hey, slugger!"

"Daddy! Why are you home?"

"It was a light day at the office, so I decided to take an early day of it. Why the long face?" James asked.

"It's nothing," Audra hedged.

"What happened?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"To me. Give."

Audra proceeded to tell her father the story from the pool and then Ken's chat afterwards. She hadn't gone back to the pool because she had been thinking about what Ken had told her.

"He's right you know," James told his daughter.

"I..."

"Did you know that Ken blames himself for what happened?"

"No!"

"Yes, he does. He feels that since he's your older brother that he should have protected you. He felt it again after that incident at the baseball game."

"Why?"

"Because he loves you. We all love you. All we really want is for you to be happy. It's hard, I know, but it seemed like the best choice of a bad lot."

"I know, I guess, but nothing seems to be right anymore," Audra cried.

James pulled his daughter into a hug. "It takes time. It's time for you to heal, time for you to adapt, and time for everyone else to adapt. You're strong, Audra, I know you can do it."

Audra continued to cry into her father's chest as he gently rocked her. Soon, she fell asleep, but yet he held her.

***

Marianne walked into the kitchen to see her husband cradling a sleeping Audra. Even from the door, Marianne could see that Audra had been crying. "Is she okay?" Marianne whispered.

James nodded. "I think she hit a crisis point today," he whispered back.

"What?"

"Jason told her she was pretty."

Marianne's eyebrows rose as Audra began to wake up. "Good afternoon sleepyhead! Do you feel better?" Marianne asked her kindly.

Audra nodded and that looked suddenly surprised at where she was. "I fell asleep? Here?"

James and Marianne laughed. "You did. slugger," James told her.

"How long?"

"About an hour."

"Thank you, Daddy," Audra said as she kissed her father on the cheek.

"Why don't you go back out to the pool party, Audra?" Marianne suggested.

"Okay, Mommy," Audra agreed as she scampered back out to the pool area.

Marianne raised her eyebrow again. "I think she may have turned a corner," she noted.

James nodded and smiled.

***

Jason looked up as a shadow crossed the chair he was in. "Hey, Jase. Sorry I ran off," Audra told him as she sat down in the chair next to him.

"No prob."

"So, do you really think I'm pretty?"

Jason could only nod and smile.

Chapter 25: I'm So Afraid

Judy Grant fingered the card June Marsden had given her. A very strong part of her wanted to call the woman back and tell her the truth, but she was afraid. Judy Grant lived with a deep fear of her husband, his abuse, but feared being alone and without skills even more. Judy walked into the kitchen and threw the card into the garbage.

"Who was that, Mom?" Bobby asked.

"Nobody. Just a case of mistaken identity," Judy lied.

"Can I go to the park?"

Judy nodded absently, still lost in thought as Bobby took off from the table.

***

Amy Grant dug the card out of the garbage after her mother had left the kitchen and looked at it. "June Marsden, Social Services, Children's Division" it read. Amy pocketed the card and ran up to her room as the card meant salvation for her and Bobby and she wasn't going to let this one get away.

***

"Hey Bobby! Wicked shiner! Did Davidson do that?" David Ames asked as Bobby arrived at the park.

"Shut up, Ames, he didn't do it. Davidson ain't tough enough to give me a shiner," Bobby insisted.

"Where did ya get it then?"

"None of your business and if you don't shut up about it, you'll get your own to enjoy!" Bobby snarled.

"You want to crash the Wilson party?" David asked, deciding that he wasn't that curious about the black eye.

"What party?"

"Pool party. Word got around that they were throwing one."

Bobby sighed mentally. Having picked on Audra to save his own skin with his father, he knew that party was closed to them. "Are you stupid? Ken'll be there."

"Yeah, I guess."

***

It was killing her, but Amy waited for an hour to give June Marsden a chance to get back to her office before slowly picking up the phone in her room. With her hands shaking, Amy punched in the numbers on the card and waited for the ring to be answered.

"Social Services, June Marsden speaking," came the voice at the other end of the line.

"Mrs. Marsden? My name is Amy Grant."

"Amy Grant? Any relation to Judy Grant?" June asked.

"She's my mother. Listen, my brother and I eavesdropped on you this morning," Amy tried to explain.

"I see..."

"My mother was lying to you."

"What do you mean, my dear?" June asked.

"My father does beat us. He beat up my brother yesterday. He gave him a black eye."

"Why?"

"Umm... well..." Amy hesitated.

"Amy, if I'm to help you, I need the truth," June told her seriously.

"Bobby likes to wear girl's clothes!" Amy said in a rush.

June paused at that announcement as she suddenly realized the source of the problems that Sheila's patient Audra was experiencing. "Amy, we need to talk and with police present. Are you prepared to do that?"

"I guess..."

"Okay, Amy, is your brother home?"

"No."

"Can you get him home?"

"I think so," Amy hedged.

"Do your best, dear. I'll be there in an hour," June told her.

"Okay. Bye."

Amy's heart was racing. Conflicting emotions flashed through her as she realized the step she had taken. She felt free, exhilarated, but at the same time incredibly fearful. Placing the phone on the rocker, she raced from her room and went in search of Bobby.

***

"Dr. Coulson speaking," Sheila answered into the phone.

"Sheila, June here. I was right."

"What do you mean?" Sheila asked, surprised at the suddenness of the announcement.

"I just got a call from Amy Grant, Bobby Grant's sister. She claimed that her father was abusive and that he had recently beaten Bobby."

"Oh my God. What are you going to do?"

"I'm heading over to their house with some police. This time, I'll get the truth."

"Go get 'em, tiger!" Sheila told her.

***

Amy had dragged Bobby home just before June Marsden arrived with the police. On the way, she had told him what she had done and why. At first, Bobby was upset at her, his fear of his father made him afraid of making the situation worse.

"Look, Bobby, if we don't do something now, it will get worse!" Amy insisted.

Reluctantly, Bobby finally nodded his agreement as the car from the morning and its police escort arrived outside. Both watched from the windows of Amy's room as the lady walked with two police officers to the front door. The bell rang and they heard their mother's surprised exclamation as she opened the door.

***

"Mrs. Marsden, why are you are here again? And why have you brought the police?" Judy Grant asked after she recovered from her initial surprise. "I've already told you that there is nothing wrong in my house."

"Missus Grant, I know this is difficult for you, but my information has been confirmed by an additional source and it was sufficient to convince the police that there was cause to investigate. I want to help you, Missus Grant, please let me," June pleaded.

Judy Grant felt tears trickle down the corners of her eyes as she whispered, "I'm so afraid."

Every new beginning is the end of something else and every ending begins the cycle again. When you finish grieving, it's time to go on living.

Audra: A New Life

by Joanne Foxcourt

Part 5 - Beginning Over

All the usual copyright and "viewing if you're legal" rules apply. There is no sex in this story, the character is far too young, but there is implied violence. It is a work of fiction and all the characters are fictional, any similarities to the living are chance.

Chapter 26: The Sun Will Come Out

"You know I'm really a boy, right?" Audra asked Jason.

"You don't look like a boy. At least not now," Jason told her. "Besides, I thought you were a girl now. That's what Coach Clarke said."

"I guess."

"Audra, I'm just a kid, I don't know what these things mean, but I know you didn't have any choice."

"I didn't."

"Hey, it doesn't mean you can't have fun. You're still a friend, girl or not. That doesn't matter at all."

"Do you mean that?"

"Sure," Jason assured her.

"It's not pity or anything, is it?" Audra asked.

"I suppose that some of us feel sorry for you, but it isn't pity. For me, I liked you before and I like you now."

"You know something Jase?"

"What?"

"You're pretty smart for a boy!" Audra laughed and sprinted for the pool. Jason laughed and chased her into the pool.

***

Marianne nestled into her husband as they watched Audra jump into the pool. "I feel better," Marianne stated.

"I know what you mean," James commented. "We haven't seen Audra laugh for quite a long time."

"She looks so beautiful when she laughs. Like the sun has come out from behind the clouds."

"We should tell Sheila," James suggested.

Marianne nodded, "I was thinking the same thing."

***

Sheila walked out on to the patio near the pool. She was excited by the news that Marianne had given her and she wanted a chance to reinforce it with Audra while the acceptance was still fresh. Sheila smiled as she watched Audra playing in the pool with her friends.

After a few minutes, Audra noticed Sheila sitting near the pool and climbed out to meet her. "Hi Sheila. What's up?" She asked.

"Why don't you tell me," Sheila suggested as she patted the seat beside her.

"What do you mean?" Audra asked as she sat down.

Sheila smiled at her. "I saw you laughing. Real laughter, like somebody who was finally finding some joy in life."

"I don't know, I guess I learned something today."

"Do you know what it is?"

Audra hummed to herself, trying to frame an answer. "I don't really know how to say it. A friend told me I was pretty and I didn't know how to take it."

"How did you take it?" asked Sheila.

"I guess I got upset."

"Upset?"

"A bit, but Ken and my daddy helped me."

"You are pretty, Audra. Does that bother you?"

"A little," Audra admitted.

"Why?"

"Because I was a boy and boys aren't supposed to be pretty."

"Did that make you feel that you had failed as a boy?" Sheila asked her seriously.

"Yes!"

"I doesn't mean that, Audra. One's appearance isn't the measure of a man or woman; it's what is inside that matters."

"I understand that, now, I guess."

"No need to guess. Does it bother you now that people say you are pretty?"

"No," admitted Audra.

"Congratulations!"

"Why?" Audra asked, surprised.

"You made a big step today, I'm very proud of you. Now go and have some fun." Sheila told her with a smile. On impulse, Audra gave her a hug and then ran back to the pool to join her friends.

***

June Marsden placed her arms around Judy Grant and held her as she cried out her fear. "Missus Grant, there is no reason for you to live in fear. We can help you and your children."

Judy sniffled, "Please, call me Judy and come in."

June and the two police officers followed Judy into the house. June noted that the house was spotless and well decorated. Obviously, from their house, and the neighborhood it occupied, the Grant family was fairly well-off.

"Judy, I know about your son." June told her, hoping that it would allow June to open easier.

"What do you mean?" Judy asked.

"I know why your husband is so abusive towards him."

Judy sighed. She stared at the people in front of her for a few seconds before she began to speak. "When Robert and I first met, he was so wonderful. He treated me like a princess and our life was very happy. Bobby was our first born and Robert was ecstatic to have a son, a young man to carry on the name and the business. Don't get me wrong, Robert was very happy when Amy was born as well, but he's a bit old fashioned and a son meant a great deal to him. That was the problem, though."

Judy hesitated as June gave her encouraging look.

"For several years, Robert took an active interest in Bobby and how he was growing up. He wanted Bobby to be tough, a man's man. It was important to Robert. However, as Bobby got a bit older, he became interested in a lot of the things that his sister was interested in. At first, Robert tolerated it, I told him it was harmless child's play, but he didn't like it. He started trying to express his disapproval by taking away some of Bobby's privileges and pushing him towards sports. Bobby is quite good at sports, you know."

June nodded, "I've heard that."

Judy smiled slightly. "For a while it seemed to work. Bobby was distracted and anxious to please his father. But, it was only a while. For whatever reason, Bobby couldn't resist. The first time Robert ever hit him, Bobby was eight years old. He caught Bobby wearing one of my dresses while playing 'dress-up' with Amy. Robert was furious. He blamed me for letting this continue and having his son turn into a 'wimp' or something."

June winced in sympathy.

"Bobby cried a lot and swore he wouldn't do it again. That wasn't true though, he did it again and again. Each time that Robert caught him, he would beat Bobby and Bobby would promise to stop."

"Did he hit you?" June asked.

"Yes," Judy whispered.

"Why?"

"Robert decided that it was my fault, that I had influenced him. I don't understand why Bobby does what he does, but I didn't encourage it!"

"Judy, you couldn't do anything about it. You're not to blame."

Judy nodded, though her eyes said that she was unsure. "Anyways, it's gotten progressively worse. Robert rewards Bobby for his aggressive behavior, but he punishes him harshly if he catches him doing anything feminine. He punishes me."

***

"Who's the lady?" Jason asked as Audra jumped back into the pool.

"My shrink," Audra told him.

"Your shrink?"

"You know. A psychiatrist. They help you feel better."

"Oh."

"How come she's here?"

"Many things, nosey Parker!" Audra exclaimed.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to pry. Your head seems pretty shrunk to me," Jason claimed.

"I wish. I feel better though."

***

"So?" James Wilson asked.

Sheila smiled at him. "Sew buttons!" She teased.

James and Marianne laughed. "You know what I mean!" James growled.

Sheila smiled again. "Yes, Audra has made a huge step today, a very huge step. We're not out of the woods yet, but she is definitely recovering and beginning to accept what has happened. Part of the problem is the hormone treatment. While the dosage is light, since she's not quite at puberty age yet, it's enough to throw her emotions off track even while her body changes to fit the new signals."

"I don't understand," James noted.

"Part of the reason that women are more emotional is hormones. That isn't the whole story, but for Audra it almost is. So many things are happening to her, inside her body and outside. They leave her unbalanced and reactive. She sees that reaction as a failure, but it's a different kind of failure."

"Now you've lost me," Marianne commented.

"Audra, as a boy, was delicate. Yes, he was athletic and good at it, but she also had very fine and feminine features. They bothered her, I think, as a boy. They're a blessing now, she will be very attractive, but she saw them as something that prevented her from being a real man. The incident reinforced that more, that she wasn't cut out to be a man, because if she was, she wouldn't have been made into a girl. Being called 'pretty' by a boy was just another blow to the masculine image that she had strived for. All of that is bad enough, but not being able to handle it 'like a man' was the final blow."

Audra's parents nodded with understanding. "Audra was never a failure as a boy!" Marianne exclaimed, though.

"You two and I know that, but she didn't. Look at Ken," Sheila pointed out. "He's big, he's strong, and he's the sort of guy that boys look at as a role model. I'd wager that girls really go for him."

Marianne nodded, "He's never wanted for dates. He's got a good heart to go with those looks and the girls see that."

"My guess, Audra has never admitted this, is that Audra envied that. To her, Ken was something she was not."

"What do we do? Ken is Ken, we can't change that and wouldn't want to," James stated.

"About Ken? Nothing. The keys to Audra's recovery remain the same as I told you from the beginning. Encourage the feminine, it's already in her. Don't make her feel bad for allowing her emotions to come out. Encourage them; it's a powerful and non-destructive release. She's coming into acceptance and it's important that we get her through this last stage. At this point, let her know that she is as special and as wonderful as her siblings, that what measures her is unique to her."

"That goes without saying," James insisted.

"True, but it's as important for me to reinforce that in you as I do in her. Have no fear, James, the light is as the end of the tunnel and the Sun will come out tomorrow."

Chapter 27: Patterns

"Bobby!"

"Yes, mom?" Bobby Grant shouted in reply.

"Come down here, and bring your sister as well."

Judy turned to look at her guests, the social worker and the two police officers. She tried to find that equilibrium that she had maintained for years, but it was failing her now. Finally, after so much abuse, she had admitted what had shamed her: that her husband beat her and blamed her for the perceived failings in their son. It was a relief, but it left her drained and shaken at the same time.

Bobby and Amy rounded the corner into the living room and faced the adults. The lady, who wasn't a cop, gave Amy a small nod of her head as the two entered. "Hello Bobby, Amy. My name is June Marsden." June told them. Both children nodded politely.

"June is here about your father," Judy stated.

"I know," Amy replied quietly.

"You know?"

"Uh huh. I called her, mom, you wouldn't. Bobby and I can't live like this anymore."

Judy sat back, stunned at the admission. "But, your father..."

"Is abusing us. We hate him, mom, hate him more than you can understand," Amy stated frankly.

"I..."

June Marsden interjected, "We need to establish the physical evidence."

Judy recovered her wits slightly, "What do you mean?"

"I'd like both children examined by a doctor," June told her.

"A doctor?"

"Abuse leaves a pattern that doctors can detect."

"If I refuse?" Judy asked.

June sighed, "Judy, you don't really want to do that, I can tell. However, I have a court order from the courts authorizing it if I need it. You and I know the truth; you have admitted it to us. We just need to have the final confirmation."

Numbly, Judy stood up. "Okay." For Judy, the world that she had known was beginning to fall apart and she was lost.

***

Jason Stewart had climbed out of the pool. For some reason, he couldn't shake his interest in Audra and couldn't keep his eyes from wandering back to her. He knew that Audra had been Aaron, but it just didn't click inside him for some reason.

Before he could start over to the chair that Audra had plunked herself into again, Mike Davidson intercepted him. "Hey Jase," Mike said.

"Mike, what's up?" Jason asked, still looking at Audra.

"Nothing much," Mike responded. "What's up with you and Audra?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" Jason looked surprised.

"You've been following her around all day."

"So?"

"I'm just looking after her."

"Don't worry Mike. I'm not going to do anything to hurt her."

Mike stared at Jason hard. "You've gotta give her some air."

"What?"

"It's pretty obvious that you're interested, Jase, you watch her wherever she goes."

"I don't know what you mean," Jason mumbled.

"Sure you do. Look man, Audra means a lot to me, I don't want her hurt. She's not ready, it's too soon."

"I'm too young to be interested in girls!"

Mike smiled, "Yeah, right. Aaron hadn't got past it, but you and I have."

Jason sighed, "Okay, she's interesting."

"She isn't ready."

"I know. I can't help it though. Who would have figured it?"

Mike laughed, "Yeah, who? She's kind of special, huh?"

Jason nodded as his eyes wandered back to Audra.

***

Dana Clarke sat down beside Audra. "How's it going?" She asked.

"Okay, I guess."

"Jason's interested in you."

Audra sighed, "I know."

"And?" Dana asked.

"I don't know what to do."

"Do you like him?"

"Yeah."

"As a girl?"

"What does that mean?" Audra asked.

"I don't know, I guess. Do you want to kiss him?"

Audra made a face, "No!"

"Why not?"

"He's a boy!"

Dana looked at Audra like she'd grown a second head. "Well, duh! You're a girl, girls kiss boys. Well, sometimes anyways."

"I'm... well, I don't know what I am."

Dana looked at her and then looked her up and down along the length of the chair. "You're a girl."

Audra shook her head. "That's what they say, but I'm not really either. A boy or a girl, I mean. I don't know what I am, but I'm beginning to find out."

Both of them fell silent.

"You're pretty, you know," Dana told Audra as she broke the silence.

"That's what Jason said."

***

Judy fidgeted at the doctor's office, unable to hide her anxiety. She knew that Robert abused the children, mostly Bobby, but a part of her was in denial and she wanted the report from the doctor to be negative. She wanted her life to be what it was like when Bobby and Amy were still little and this process would remove that chance. All day, Judy had been battling these conflicts within her. She started when the door to the waiting room opened.

"Mrs. Grant? Mrs. Marsden? I'd like a moment with you both please," the doctor requested. Both ladies nodded and followed him to his office.

As the ladies sat in the indicated chairs, the doctor sighed. "This is always difficult for me, but I'll speak plainly. I've examined both children and the patterns of abuse are very obvious, especially on young Bobby. Amy's patterns are not as bad, mostly bruising around the arms and back that are fading, but Bobby's are far worse. Aside from the obvious current bruising, for which Bobby has admitted the source, I detected some irregular healing and so had some x- rays done. Bobby has had several fractures that have not healed well, notably several ribs and his left arm. These fractures have obviously not been attended to by a physician and these bones are now permanently weakened as a result."

Judy started sobbing.

"Mrs. Clarke, it's imperative for the safety of your children that this be addressed quickly. I've treated Bobby for his most recent injuries, but if this were to continue he could well end up seriously hurt, perhaps even permanently," the doctor informed her, trying to sound sympathetic as he handed her some tissue.

June Marsden quietly slipped from the room as Judy was trying to bring herself under control. She found the two police officers in the waiting room and told them the basic details. "I think Robert Grant should be picked up," Judy told them, "We have a strong case now."

Chapter 28: Decent Son

Audra and Susie sat together on Audra's bed. It had been a long day and, ultimately, a fun day. Susie handed Audra a bottle of aloe lotion. "You need to put some of this on, you're looking a little red," Susie noted. "I'll do your back."

As Susie was rubbing lotion onto her, Audra drifted over the events of the day. She couldn't understand some of it, especially the reaction Jason had to her. "Why's Jason so interested?" She suddenly asked Susie.

"You're pretty, you're smart, and you're nice," Susie told her.

"But I was a guy!"

"So? You aren't anymore. You never really were all that boyish anyways."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Audra asked crossly.

Susie stopped rubbing in the lotion and leaned back to look at Audra while she tried to think of a way to explain this without upsetting her sister. "Aside from sports, which girls can like too, you just didn't act like a typical boy, at least when you were being yourself. Oh sure, you'd try to show off being tough when other boys were around, but it wasn't you. Even when you teased girls, I could always tell that you didn't want to and felt bad when someone's feelings were hurt. When Ken was younger, he didn't care like that, he was just a typical boy."

"I don't get it," Audra admitted.

"You were more like a typical girl. You did stuff when peer pressure was on, but you didn't always like it. Girls can be like that in a group too, but a lot of us feel pretty bad when someone is hurt by it."

"I guess. That doesn't explain Jason though."

"Maybe the image fits the person now?"

Audra dropped her chin into her hand, a habit she often had when deep in thought. Susie could almost hear the gears clicking away. "A penny for your thoughts?" Susie asked.

"I'm just trying to figure it out. I'm not really a girl and now you tell me I was never really a boy either."

"Why do you keep saying you're not really a girl?"

"Well, I wasn't born this way! I didn't have any choice."

"So? Who has choice? I didn't choose to be a girl either."

"It's different," Audra asserted.

"The only thing different about it is when it happened."

"That's an important difference!"

"Only if you let it be one. Look, you can fight being a girl the rest of your life or you can enjoy it. Being a girl is just as much fun as being a boy. At least you got to experience both, I never did," Susie told her.

"Then how do you know it's just as much fun?"

"Because I watched you grow up, too."

***

Judy Grant started shaking as the police officer opened the doors to the cell block. She had dreaded coming here since she had been told of Robert's arrest, but she had to come. Slowly she walked down the row of cells and looked into the one that contained her husband. He was wearing orange cover-alls and lying on the bunk with his arm over his head. Judy just stared, afraid to speak.

Without moving his arm, Robert spoke. "What do you want?"

"Oh, Robert, I'm so sorry..." Judy whispered.

"You stupid bitch!" Robert shouted as he flung himself out of the bunk. "What do you think you're doing? Are you trying to destroy us?"

Judy backed away. "What changed with you, Robert?"

"Nothing! First you destroy my son, turning him into some sort of sissy, and now you're trying to destroy me!"

Judy broke down and began sobbing. "I don't want to destroy you Robert. I want you to get help. I want you to be the husband that you used to be."

"God, you're pathetic. You couldn't even give me a decent son and you talk about wanting to help me? Get out of here. Go. You're useless."

Judy fled, sobbing.

***

Marianne Wilson picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Judy? Calm down! What's the matter?" Marianne questioned into the phone, shaking her head at James with a worried look. "I see. Do you want me to come over?"

James looked at his wife, surprised. The only Judy he could think of was Judy Grant, and she had never been close friends with Marianne.

"Okay, I'll be right there," Marianne said as she hung up.

"What's going on?" James asked.

"That was Judy Grant, Robert has been arrested."

"Arrested? For what?"

"Child abuse."

James sat back, stunned. "Child abuse? Robert's a mean one, but I never suspected child abuse."

"Sheila did, I told her about the abuse Bobby was giving Audra and she thought it might be symptomatic of child abuse. They moved very fast, surprisingly fast for child services."

"It must have been very serious then. They must have felt that Bobby and Amy were in immediate danger."

Marianne nodded. "I'm going over to comfort Judy, she's quite distraught."

"Shall I wait up?"

"I'll call. I might bring Judy and the children here."

"Hmm... I wonder how Audra will react to that," James mused.

"I'll deal with it if it happens. I'll talk to you soon," Marianne said as she kissed her husband goodbye.

***

Judy was still crying as she opened the door to let Marianne in. Marianne gathered the woman into her arms, "Hello Judy, I'm glad that you called me."

"I'm sorry Marianne, I didn't know what else to do and I thought that maybe you could help."

"I'm not a professional."

Judy nodded, "I know, but I think you'll understand when I explain."

"Where are the children?" Marianne asked.

"They're upstairs, playing or talking I guess."

"Are they okay?"

Judy nodded. "They..."

"They?" Marianne prompted.

"They called Social Services."

Marianne looked surprised. "Why did they do that?"

"It's a long story," Judy sighed. "Please sit down and I'll tell you. Can I get you anything?"

Marianne shook her head as she sat down. "No, thank you."

Judy sat beside Marianne on the couch and leaned back with her eyes closed. Haltingly, she began to tell the story of the day. Marianne listened without interruption, allowing Judy to tell it at her own pace.

After Judy had finished, Marianne asked her the obvious question, "Why was he so abusive towards Bobby?"

"I... Bobby has some issues."

"Issues?"

"He, well, likes to wear girl's clothes," Judy admitted.

Marianne looked surprised. "That's unexpected!"

Judy nodded. "Robert is such a man's man that he was devastated by this, I think. I don't really understand why Bobby does it, I don't think he does either, but Robert thought he could punish him out of it. At first, it was mild."

"I take it that didn't work and didn't last?"

"As Bobby got older and showed no signs of this changing, Robert got harsher and harsher, towards both Bobby and I. His abuse of Amy was incidental. She was just caught in the crossfire. Robert blamed me for having a 'sissy' for a son and his son for being one. Bobby isn't a sissy, but Robert can't see past this issue."

"I'm not sure how I can help Judy," Marianne admitted.

"I was hoping... well, we know about Audra and I'm guessing that some of what she is facing is similar to what Bobby is going through."

"I guess, in a way. Does Bobby want to be a girl?"

"I don't think so. In most respects, he's pretty boyish. I think this is just a thrill for him, something that excites him."

"I know a counselor who might be able to help. Audra is seeing her and she has been wonderful."

"That would be great. I would be grateful for any help," Judy thanked her with relief.

"What's happening with Robert?" Marianne asked.

"He has a bail hearing tomorrow."

"Will he get bail?"

"My lawyer thinks so. Robert can afford it and he's a respected community member with ties to the area. The courts won't think he's a flight risk."

"You can't stay here then," Marianne noted.

"Where else do I go?"

"You three are going to stay with us," Marianne decided.

"I can't impose."

"Don't worry about imposing, you won't be."

"What about Bobby and Audra? They haven't gotten along well recently," Judy noted.

"I think it's about time that they learned to respect each other. I also think that Audra can help Bobby a little. Either way, we'll deal with the fireworks if they arise, but I think this is an excellent opportunity for them both to grow up a little. You have a decent son Judy; he just needs to be given a chance to prove it."

***

James called his children down to the living room after he got off the phone. "Well, we're going to be having some company for a while," he told them.

"Who?" Ken asked.

"Judy Grant and her two children."

"Bobby? Here?" Audra asked. "After what he did to me?"

"Audra, and you the rest of you as well, you need to understand something. Today, Robert Grant was arrested on charges of child abuse. He has been abusing his children and his wife for a very long time. Your mom is with Judy Grant right now and has made this decision. She thinks, and I agree, that the reason that Bobby was so mean to you was to protect himself from his father."

Audra nodded.

"The reason the Grants are staying here is to, first, protect them and, second, to allow Bobby a chance to make up for his actions."

"Okay Daddy, I'll try," Audra agreed.

"I know you will," James smiled at his daughter.

***

Bobby was pretty apprehensive, and getting more so, as the car neared the Wilson's place. Marianne had assured him that he wasn't in any danger from Ken, but still... Amy squeezed his hand and whispered, "Hey, bro, relax." Bobby gave her a nervous smile.

As they pulled into the long driveway, Marianne told them that they'd just go straight in. "I'll send Ken out to get your bags while I show you your rooms and get you settled in," she added.

Bobby hung back slightly as everyone entered the house, but he finally entered at the impatient look his mother gave him. At first, there was no sign of Audra and he relaxed a little, but then he tensed as she came down the front stairs and walked directly up to him.

"Hello, Bobby," Audra said.

"Hey, Audra."

"Welcome to my home."

"Audra... I..." Bobby hesitated. "I'm really sorry! You didn't deserve what I did and I wish like anything I could take it back."

Audra stared at him for a few seconds, her face unreadable, and then gave him a smile that could light a baseball diamond at night. "I forgive you," she said simply as Bobby felt relief wash over him.

***

James tucked Audra into bed as everybody else settled in for the night. "I'm very proud of you, you know," he told her.

"Why?"

"You did a very big thing tonight. You understood and forgave after being wronged and that takes a very big person to do that."

"It wasn't that big a deal," Audra protested.

"Yes it was, but don't get a swelled head over it," James smiled.

"Daddy, can I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

"Was I more boy-like or girl-like before?"

"Before you became Audra?"

Audra nodded.

"Audra, you were you. You weren't macho, but you weren't afraid to be a boy either. You had a tender, caring side even then. Maybe some people don't see that is being manly, but they are wrong. It's hard, though, to be a boy or a man under those circumstances because people don't think boys should be like that. Why this question?"

"Susie told me today that I was more girl-like than boy-like before."

"I suppose that empathy and caring are seen to be something girls are more likely to have."

"So I wasn't boy-like then, not like Ken."

"Ken is Ken, you are you. Why do you want to be Ken?"

"I didn't want to be Ken, just more like him. You know, big, strong."

"Did you know that Ken wanted to be more like you?" James told her.

"Huh? Why?"

"Ken has always loved you and admired you. You're smart and you care. It's not that Ken isn't a smart man, but you took to school like a duck to a pond and he took more after sports and technical things. What Ken saw in you were the kind of traits that could be admired, as people genuinely like you because of you, not because of what you could do for them. Ken has spent a lot of time trying to be more like you for that very reason."

"It doesn't make sense."

"It will. Don't worry too much about what is girl-like and what is boy-like, just be you. I've told Ken that many times as well," James advised.

"I'll try," Audra conceded.

"I know you will. Sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite," James kissed her goodnight.

"Goodnight, Daddy, I won't," Audra giggled.

Chapter 29: Respected Member of the Community

Robert Grant appeared in court in his finely tailored suit. He sat at the table for the bail hearing with his lawyer as he watched the Assistant District Attorney and the Social Services worker shuffle some papers and quietly discuss some topic, probably him. Robert stood with the rest of the courtroom at the loud command of "all rise" from the bailiff. Robert groaned quietly as a female Judge entered the courtroom and sat down at the bench, his chauvinism assumed that female judge would be harsher considering the circumstances.

"This is a bail hearing for Mister Robert Grant. Is he here in the courtroom today?" the Judge asked.

Robert Grant stood, "Here, your Honor."

"Good. Please be seated. Mister Bolton, is the DA's office ready to present?"

David Bolton, Assistant District Attorney, rose. "Yes, your Honor, we are prepared."

"You may proceed then," the Judge instructed.

"Your Honor, the Mister Grant is accused of committing spousal and child abuse over a period of several years. Examinations by a doctor specializing in abuse and testimony from the Social Services indicates a severe pattern that has gotten progressively worse and provided sufficient alarm to warrant quick action. Mister Grant has substantial means available to him and has a clearly demonstrated problem with anger such that we believe him to be either a risk for flight or a danger to his wife and children."

"I see. Thank you Mister Bolton," the Judge commented. "Mister Stevenson, your turn."

Alton Stevenson rose, "Your Honor, my client is an esteemed member of the community. He is an accomplished business and family man. While the accusations are, indeed, serious, they are just accusations. My client will, ultimately, prove his innocence but in the time between now and the trial he should be permitted to continue his life and his business. If he was not to receive bail, his entire livelihood would be put at jeopardy."

"While this court is not unmindful of the seriousness of these accusations, we are also mindful of the potential for innocence as well as guilt. Since the accusation is not of a capital nature and the accused has an established reputation in his community, the court hereby sets bail at $250,000. Mister Grant, you are also under order not to knowingly approach within five miles of your wife and children until further notice. You will be escorted by an officer of the court to pick up such sundries as you require from your home and arrangements can be made for you for hotel lodgings if you require."

"That won't be necessary, your Honor," Robert Grant noted.

"Fine. Preliminary hearing is set for three weeks from today. Court is adjourned." The Judge rapped her gavel on the base.

***

Judy got off the phone and turned to Marianne. "That was June Marsden, Robert has been granted bail."

"We had assumed that," Marianne noted.

"He's also under a restraining order and will be staying at a hotel."

"What are you planning to do?" Marianne asked.

"Marianne, you have been wonderful for us, but it might be easier if we're at home," Judy suggested.

"I can't keep you here, Judy, but you are welcome to stay. I think you should stay here for now, at least until Robert has been given a chance to collect some things."

Judy smiled her thanks and gazed out the window to watch the children playing in the pool. "Maybe the children should stay, for now."

***

Bobby and Audra hung off the edge of pool as Amy and Susie continued to splash around. "I guess I don't understand, Bobby," Audra was saying.

Bobby stared at her for a few seconds. "Can I tell you something if you promise to keep it a secret?"

Audra nodded.

"Promise me!"

"I promise, Bobby, I won't tell a soul," Audra told him seriously.

"The reason my father beats me is because he doesn't think I'm much of a man."

"You?" Audra asked, incredulously.

"Yeah, me."

"Why? That makes even less sense."

Bobby sighed, "This is pretty hard to explain, but maybe you'll understand a bit. Do you get the feeling, sometimes, that you're wearing the wrong skin?"

Audra laughed, "Sometimes? Almost all the time!"

"Well, I often feel that way too."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, sometimes I like to pretend I'm a girl," Bobby admitted.

Audra looked at him in surprise, "What?!?" Bobby colored from the reaction. "I'm sorry, I don't mean it that way," Audra told him as she placed a hand gently on his arm. "I'm just a little surprised, I wouldn't have guessed that."

"You won't tell anyone?"

"I said I wouldn't, and I won't. How long have you been doing that?"

"For as long as I can remember. My father never liked it, from the beginning, but he tolerated it at first. After a while, though, he started punishing me. I tried to stop, really, I tried, but I just couldn't." Bobby felt tears beginning to leak from his eyes.

Audra wiped his tears away, "It's okay."

"My father got more and more angry about it. Every time I got caught, he got worse. He blamed my mom too, he'd hit her for it."

"Why did you come after me?" Audra had to ask.

"My father would have been even worse if he thought I was tolerating or even liking you."

"You like me?"

Bobby blushed again, "Yeah. Who doesn't? I'm a little jealous though."

"Why would you be jealous?"

"You got to be something I'm not."

***

Robert Grant sat in the hotel bar getting progressively drunk. Somewhere, somehow, his life had taken a major turn for the worse and he didn't much care for that. He saw the evidence that the State had and it was damning. His own children have testified against him. His children! Despite everything, Robert couldn't fathom why his children would hate him like that, he was just looking out for their best interest, or so he thought.

Robert waved over another drink as the bartender walked up. "Don't you think you've had enough for one afternoon, sir?"

"I'll decide that. It's been a shitty day, don't make it any worse," Robert snarled.

"Well sir, I can't risk our license. I'm sorry, but you can't be served here any further."

"Alright, fuck ya then." Robert staggered out of the bar and to the elevator. He fumbled at the door of the room for a minute before finally fitting the card into the slot. He stared at the bed blearily for a moment before crashing on to it with snores.

***

"I need to check on the house," Judy decided that afternoon.

"Are you sure that's wise?" Marianne asked.

"I think so. I haven't decided if we're going to stay there, but I want to see what damage Robert has done, if any. Is it alright if the children stay?"

Marianne nodded, "Of course."

Judy lapsed into silence, staring out the window at the children again. "Marianne, can I ask you something?"

"Certainly."

"No, never mind, it's too much," Judy hedged.

"Just ask, Judy, I'll tell you if it's too much."

"If anything happens to me, can you look after Bobby and Amy?"

"Judy! Why so morbid?" Marianne asked, surprised at the request.

"I can't shake a feeling. I get them sometimes. I wish I had gotten one before I married Robert."

"Of course we'll look after them, but don't you have family?"

"My parents are both dead, I was an only child."

"Robert's family?"

"They aren't any different than him," Judy confessed. "Robert seemed so different then. I guess I hoped too much."

"If it comes to that Judy, of course James and I will do what we can. It's not really in our hands, though."

Judy paused for a second. "I have to confess, Marianne, that I made arrangements with Social Services yesterday. June Marsden thought I was being needlessly hasty, but I signed the forms that authorized it if something was to happen and you agreed. If you didn't agree, I would rather my children be in foster care than the care of the Grant family. They both have a sizeable trust awaiting their majority. They would be able to land on their feet eventually, regardless of the outcome."

Marianne was taken aback by this turn. "I'm... well, I'm honored in your trust. I wish you had of spoken to me about it first though. However, if James agrees, then it will be. I don't think it will come to that, though."

"I admire your family Marianne. They are wonderful, caring, and generous to a fault. My family was like that once, so long ago. It is the sort of family that my children deserve. I hope to still give them that, but..."

"Enough. Judy, it will work out. Do what you need to do this afternoon and call me or come back. We'll support and help you as long as you need us, you know that. Your children are welcome here and they are obviously having fun. Audra and Bobby are getting along famously now."

Judy smiled, "I'll call you soon." She then left for her house.

***

Robert Grant groaned from the headache that was pounding behind his temples. His mind was still foggy, but he realized that he had passed out on his bed. Staggering upright, he fumbled his way over to the mini bar in his room and pulled out a shot of whiskey. Pounding that back seemed to rebalance his head and make him feel a little more human. Good old hair of the dog that bit ya, he thought to himself.

Robert sat in one of the chairs in his suite and stared at the suitcase still tossed haphazardly to one side. He contemplated the interior of the luggage, the interior that lazy slob of a court officer hadn't bothered to check out. It was Robert's traveling luggage for business and inside was a Colt .45, fully loaded and ready to go. Robert like to have protection when traveling across country by car, he hated flying, so he drove a great deal.

Robert Grant had hit a low. He was enough of a businessman to realize that even the accusations of abuse were enough to sink him. If he was to lose the trial, it would be even worse. His career was finished, he knew it. "You stupid bitch, you've ruined everything," he slurred in anger. Suddenly, he made up his mind and stumbled to the suitcase and ripped out the pistol. He stared at it for a few minutes. "No, that's too easy," he mumbled to himself. He tucked the pistol in his jacket and left his room.

***

Judy Grant surveyed the mess that Robert had made of their bedroom. Oh, it wasn't too drastic, but it was pretty obvious that he hadn't cared about what he had dumped onto the floor. With a sigh, Judy began to straighten the mess.

"Oh, Robert, where did we go wrong?" Judy cried to nobody in particular.

"I'll tell you where you stupid bitch!" Robert's voice came from behind her as he braced his hands against the doorframe of their bedroom.

Judy whirled around in surprise. "Robert!"

"Yeah, Robert, the man you promised to love, honor, and obey. The man you've betrayed several times."

"You aren't supposed to be here, Robert," Judy said, backing up at the rage in his face.

"Fuck that! First you give me a pussy for a son and then you turn around and betray me to the cops. You've been a screw-up from the beginning Judy, I don't know why I married a worthless piece of trash like you."

Judy suddenly stood straight. "You've lost it, Robert. You had a wonderful family with wonderful kids and you couldn't accept them. You couldn't deal with differences and you abused them and me because of it. If there is a failure in this family, Robert, it's you. Only, you're too caught up in your own self-image to realize it."

Robert sneered at her. "Where are they?"

"Who?"

"The fucking children you idiot! That's who!" Robert roared.

"I'm not telling you," Judy told him. For the first time in her life, Judy was beyond the point of fear and into that place from which people drew the courage of heroism.

Robert pulled the Colt .45 from his pocket and waved it at her. "If you don't tell me, I'll kill you."

Judy started at the sight of the gun, but held her ground. "No."

Robert leapt out and smacked her with the pistol butt. Judy crumpled to the ground and felt, rather than heard, the click of the hammer being pulled back against her forehead. "Tell me!" Judy closed her eyes to the harsh command and pressed her lips tight.

Chapter 30: A New Life

All four children jumped out of the pool at the sounds of sirens down the street. Their quiet neighborhood seldom had sirens and it was a major cause for excitement when it happened. They all ran inside to find out what was going on.

"Mom! Mom!" Susie shouted into the house.

"Susie! What's with the racket?" Marianne called out as the children clustered around her.

"Didn't you hear the sirens?" Susie asked.

"I heard them. So?"

"Can we go see?" Susie asked.

"Put on shorts and shoes first, all of you, before you go," Marianne sighed. It hadn't occurred to her the possible cause for the sirens or she may have held the children back. As it was, she watched them grab shorts and shoes as they bolted from the house to follow the noise of the siren, figuring that they were looking for a little excitement. She shook her head and went back to her hobbies.

***

All four ran from the house and listened carefully for the sirens to follow them. It sounded, to them, as if the sirens had stopped and so it did look as if the excitement was in their own neighborhood. They followed the sounds as they led them to Bobby and Amy's street, both of whom were beginning to look more and more apprehensive as they got closer.

"What's the matter guys?" Audra asked them as they jogged down the street.

"It's pretty close to home," Amy told her. "What if it's my father?"

"What would he be doing here?"

"I don't know." Bobby and Amy were looking very worried.

***

Marianne had received no answer at Judy's place and now she was becoming concerned. She was also beginning to doubt the wisdom of allowing the children to follow the sirens. Making up her mind, she jumped into her car and drove towards the Clark's place only to be greeted by a crowd of people standing outside a police barrier that completely surrounded the house.

Marianne found the children, including the very frightened Bobby and Amy at the edge of barrier. She gathered them into her arms and watched the police move towards the house.

"Mister Grant! We know you are in there. The house is surrounded, come out with your hands up and everything will be okay," shouted a police officer through a bullhorn.

The house remained silent as the more police converged on the grounds and the entrances to the house. Suddenly, a shot rang out and the crowd around the area screamed. Marianne pulled the two distraught children close to her and shielded their eyes from the scene.

With the shot, the police burst into the house, weapons at the ready. The crowd waited, almost breathless, for minutes while the police went through the large place room by room. Eventually, the police came upon the scene in the bedroom and an officer appeared on the front porch with the all-clear signal and held up two fingers to the ambulance attendants.

Marianne tried to shield all four children from the next scene to unfold, but it was impossible. The ambulance attendants emerged from the house with their stretchers and both bodies were covered from head to toe. Gasps of shock could be heard from the crowd as parents tried their best to keep their children from seeing. Two children did see, though, and their simultaneous cry of "Mommy!" rang out loud enough for everyone to hear.

***

Marianne and James tried to comfort the two children at the hospital. Audra and Susie were at home, being watched by Ken. Both adults new it was hopeless, but still they waited. June Marsden arrived shortly after, looking very sad and very concerned, accompanied by Sheila Coulson.

"Mari, James, this is June Marsden. June is with Social Services," Sheila introduced.

"Hello June, pleased to meet you," James stood up and took her hand, trying to smile.

"Likewise. Any word?" June asked quietly.

James shook his head.

"Has Marianne talked to you about the arrangements?" June asked him.

"She has. I support her decision," James replied.

Just then, a grim looking doctor emerged into the waiting room. "Mrs. Marsden?" He asked.

June looked up and nodded, "I think Mr. Wilson should join us. Marianne, if you would stay with the Sheila and the children?"

Marianne nodded as June and James followed the doctor.

The doctor closed the door softly behind the two as they entered and sat down. "I'm afraid I have very bad news," he began.

James and June nodded. "We expected that, doctor," James stated quietly.

"Both were pronounced dead at arrival, but we still made the attempt. Unfortunately, both shots were deadly accurate, there really was no chance. I'm sorry."

***

The four adults sat down with Bobby and Amy in the quiet room at the hospital. James cleared his throat several times before beginning, "Children, I'm so sorry..." Bobby and Amy burst out into fresh tears.

James paused while the children were again comforted. "I know that this is a very, very difficult thing for both of you to face and I can't tell you how sorry I feel about this. Yesterday, your mother acted on a sense that she felt and made provisions with the State on your behalf. Part of those provisions were to provide for you if something was to happen to her."

Amy and Bobby nodded. "Does this mean foster homes? Or my father's family?" Bobby asked quietly.

"Not necessarily. Your mother's provision was to ask us to look after you, provided that we agreed to it. Marianne and I have discussed this and we agreed to do so. However, it is only fair that you and Amy also agree. We don't want to force you into anything you don't want."

Bobby and Amy looked at each other, but Amy spoke first, "I would agree, but what about Bobby?"

"What do you mean, Amy?" Marianne asked.

Amy looked at them seriously. "This whole mess happened because of how my father reacted to Bobby. What about Bobby? If he can't be himself... all of this is for nothing!" Amy embraced her brother fiercely.

Marianne smiled at them gently. "I think you know, by now, that our home isn't the usual home," Marianne told them. "We aren't inexperienced with dealing with these issues and I promise you that Bobby will be allowed to be himself without fear or prejudice in our home."

Amy and Bobby both sighed with relief and nodded at each other. James was surprised that Amy was the real leader of the two, he would have picked Bobby. He was beginning to understand the strength of this young girl, she was much like Audra. "We agree, Mister and Missus Wilson," Amy told them with a wan smile.

"I'm Mari and this is James, Amy. I want you both to call us by those names. I also want you to know that you'll be treated no different than our other children. That we'll cheer on your successes, cry over your setbacks, and discipline you when you deserve it. You have a home with us, and it is a home."

***

Audra, Susie, and Ken were waiting when their parents arrived home with Bobby and Amy. Ken had already talked to his father on the phone and had filled in his siblings on the basic events. Both were sad and shocked, but oddly excited about having more siblings their age. Ken just groaned about "more teenage girls and a bratty brother hanging around." Susie and Audra tickled him for that.

As Bobby and Amy entered the house, Audra grabbed them both in a strong hug. "Hello sister, hello brother-sister, welcome home. Welcome to a new life."

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Author's Afterword - I wasn't really sure where this story was going to take me. Yes, it "took" me. I was simply the instrument for placing it on to a computer in all honesty. Initially, I tried to draw the story in a certain direction, but it just didn't want to flow that way. I surrendered.

Is this the last tale of Audra? No. I think there is more to tell. We still have Jason and Audra, and what is budding there and what role Mike will play in it. We have Audra who is still learning to grow into her new life. We have the story of Bobby, who should finally get a chance to be his self with his new life. Also, what about school? What about other obstacles? We live in a world in which difference is seen as suspect and reaction can be harsh. There are stories still to be told here.

More importantly, though, I hope you have been entertained.

Hugs, Joanne

Starting your life over is hard to do...

Audra: A New Life -- Redux

by Joanne Foxcourt

Author's Note
Shortly after the first version of this story was posted to the Internet, I received some incredibly good advice about what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong. I'm extremely grateful for that strong and detailed critique --- enough that I felt it completely necessary to revisit this story and try to make it better. Equally as important, I felt that too much was left dangling after the first attempt was done. Re-reading it, I found myself feeling dissatisfied in the way it ended. Thus, Audra: A New Life Redux.

The story, through chapter 6, hasn't changed that much. I've added some details, particularly around the characters, to provide a better view of them. I've also added some additional context around the critical decision that the parents make, since it's really the driver of this story. Beyond chapter 6? Big time changes, especially in the story focus and how it progresses. The original story got muddled between attempting to tell the struggle Audra goes through, play up my own transgender nature, and the motivations for Bobby beyond chapter 6. It didn't work for me when I went back to it and thus becomes the point of real divergence in Redux.

Special thanks to Aardvark for his advice and suggestions, they were beyond excellent.

All the usual copyright and "viewing if you're legal" rules apply. There is no sex in this story (the character is far too young) but there is implied violence. It is a work of fiction and all the characters are fictional; any similarities to the living are chance.

This story may be archived on any site that does not charge a fee for reading. How you format and split the file for archiving is up to you, I'm not that fussy about it. If you want it in a different format (e.g. RTF) than is presented on my site, just drop me an email and I'll see what I can do.

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Chapter 1: Ransom Demands.

"Remember honey, come straight home after the game," said Aaron's mom, "we have your grandparents visiting."

"I will mom," replied Aaron as he grabbed his baseball glove and hat from the front table. He smiled happily at the start of a new summer with baseball, grandparents, and all of the other fun things kids get to do on their summer vacation. Aaron had just turned eleven and, while he was small for his age, he was actually a pretty good athlete. He was also a real baseball fanatic because its lack of physical contact gave him a better chance against the boys who were bigger than him.

Aaron's size was unusual for the men in his family. Both his father and older brother were quite a bit bigger when they were his age. He was more like his older sister and mother; small, compact, and cute rather than handsome. He sometimes got teased for his cuteness, looking more like a girl could be a real burden for a young boy, but because of his baseball ability and his general friendliness, the teasing was usually good natured.

Aaron led a good life. His family was very well off, courtesy of both inheritances and a father who had very sound business sense. They lived in a fancy neighborhood and he and his siblings attended a prestigious private school. Being a smart lad in a moneyed family meant very bright prospects for Aaron as he got older. Of course, being eleven, he didn't really think about those issues.

***

As Aaron tore down the street on his bicycle, he failed to notice the dark van that had pulled out from around the corner of a nearby street. The van had tinted windows and a license plate that was obscured by dirt and road dust. The swarthy man behind the wheel nodded at his shorter companion beside him, "Is this the one we want?"

"That's him. He's perfect for us. Wealthy family, young, easily controlled. We can make a lot of money for the cause if we grab him."

"Do you want to grab him now or wait until after his game?"

"Wait for the game. He is rushed now; he may not stop for us. Besides, it will give us a chance to study him and maybe we will see some other potential sources of revenue amongst his friends."

The driver nodded again and turned to pass Aaron as both headed to the baseball diamond. As the men parked their van a few minutes later, they watched Aaron enter the parking lot and chain up his bike, getting ready for the first game of the season. Most of his team was already there and the men could see that the other team was also getting ready to go. They found themselves some seats in the bleachers and settled in to watch them play.

***

"Hey Aaron, ready for the big game?" shouted out Aaron's best friend Mike.

"I was born ready Mike!" Aaron laughed at him. It was their superstitious ritual like many athletes have; they had been doing it for years. Mike and Aaron were almost always together and often found in the same pot of trouble when they let their better sense get ahead of them. They were pretty good kids, but boys will be boys. Where Aaron was small, somewhat delicate, Mike was much bigger and more aggressive. He protected Aaron from much of the teasing his small size would otherwise have cost him.

"Can you hang out after?" Mike asked.

"Nah, my grandparents are coming over today and I promised my mom that I'd go straight home."

"Nuts." Mike was disappointed, but the summer was just starting and they'd be hanging out a lot together anyways.

Aaron laughed again and shrugged with that "what can I do" kind of shrugs that all kids seem to be able to use. He wasn't that unhappy about it though, he loved visiting with his grandparents.

Soon after that, the home plate umpire shouted, "Play ball!"

***

After the celebration of the win, 7-4 with Aaron scoring twice, he slapped a high five with his friend Mike and jumped on his bike for the ride home. Aaron was feeling pretty happy: he won, scored some runs, and his grandparents were coming to visit. All in all, he though, this was turning into a glorious day.

"Hey kid!"

Aaron looked up at the van that had pulled up beside him and the smiling face of the man at the passenger window. Aaron pulled over his bike as the van came to a stop and the two men climbed out. "Yes sir?" Aaron asked, politely. His parents had taught him to be polite, especially to adults.

"My friend and I are a little lost, we're looking for State Lane and we haven't had much luck finding it," said the man as he pulled out a hand drawn map.

Aaron didn't have either the native caution of girls or the street caution of poorer youths growing up in the inner city. He leaned over to look at the map, "You're close, sir, all you need to do is..." His voice fell silent as he felt the prick of a needle and the world started to go black. His mind screamed help, but nothing came out of his mouth.

Both men acted quickly. They lifted Aaron into the van through the side door. The former passenger picked up the bike and climbed in after him. The driver jumped in behind the wheel and the van sped off down the road.

***

"Where is that boy?!?" Marianne, Aaron's mom fumed. "He was supposed to be home hours ago!"

"Have you called Mike's place, mom?" Susie asked. "He usually goes there after his baseball games."

"He had better not, but I guess I'd better check."

"Don't get too upset with the lad, Mari," said Aaron's grandmother, "he's just a boy and he's doing what all little boys have done for centuries." Aaron's grandfather laughed at that and nodded wisely in agreement as he looked at his son, Aaron's dad who was also chuckling.

"Still, I'll call and get him to shake his tail home," replied Marianne as she picked up the phone in the parlor and dialed Mike's home. "Hi June, its Marianne, is Aaron over there? I see... Okay... Thanks June."

"He's not there. Mike told his mother that Aaron left for home straight after the game." Marianne looked worried. "Ken would you take a look around the neighborhood for your brother?"

"Sure mom. Don't worry, I'll find the little brat and bring him home." Ken smiled reassuringly. Ken teased his brother a lot, but he was thinking that this was pretty unlike him; the kid was normally pretty reliable when he made a promise. Ken, too, was getting worried.

However, before Ken could head out of the house, the phone rang. As his father, James, picked it up, he told Ken to wait since it could be Aaron calling. "Hello, Wilson residence, James Wilson speaking."

As James listened on the phone, the rest of the family watched him turn pale and start to shake. He said into the phone, "I see. I understand. I'll wait for your next call."

"What's the matter honey? Is Aaron hurt?" Marianne asked, worry for he son showing plainly on her face.

"Hurt?" James shook his head. "No, not hurt, not yet. He's been kidnapped!" Tears formed in his eyes as he hugged his wife who began to cry in fear for her youngest son, her baby. Other cries of fear and astonishment quickly followed from the rest of the family in the room.

Fear and worry evident in his voice, but ever the strong one, James' father tried to calm everyone down. "What did he say on the phone son?" he asked.

Grateful for the strong, but simple, reassurance of his father's calm voice, James replied, "They want five million dollars in seven days or they said they would start taking away portions of Aaron's life." Marianne cried even more at hearing that.

"What do they mean portions of his life?"

"I don't know. What do we do? They warned against calling the police."

"We call the police anyways and we start trying to get the ransom together," James' father said. "We can hope that they find Aaron first, but we only have a week and five million is a lot of money to put together in such a short time. Use your cell phone in case the kidnappers call back."

"Are you sure calling the police is wise?" James asked.

Grandpa Wilson nodded. "I do. Tell them to be discrete, but we need the police on this. We pay the ransom, but that doesn't mean we let the bastards get away with this."

James went to his office to get his cell phone and make the call.

Chapter 2: Darkness.

Aaron could feel the tight rope around his wrists and ankles as he slowly woke. His mouth felt parched from the cloth gag and the blindfold kept him from seeing where he was. All he could tell was that he was lying on a thin mattress and the room had a slight stench to it as though it had been urinated in. Aaron shifted on the mattress.

"He is waking up." The voice startled Aaron, coming from above.

"Good," replied another voice as Aaron felt the gag being removed from his mouth. "Don't talk boy or we put the gag back in. Now, you will listen." Aaron just nodded as he was given a small sip of water. The voice continued, "We've contacted your parents. Your continued safety relies on them following our directions clearly and quickly. We have demanded five million dollars in seven days. If they fail to do that, we will take away part of your life and the ransom will double. If they succeed, we will let you go as we have found you. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir," Aaron croaked through the dryness of his mouth. "Why?"

"Though you spoke, I will answer, but remember that you are not permitted to speak again. We have a cause for the glory of Allah. We are his warriors and we seek justice and retribution for the suffering and evils that your country has visited upon us. It is both just and fitting that financing this goal comes from you. Allah smiles at the irony of the devils paying for their own destruction. Your ransom will help us as will the ransoms of others like you."

Aaron remained silent as the fear swept through him. He was young and the events of September 11th were a blur for him, but he remembered the fear and who was blamed. For the first time in his young life, Aaron was beginning to understand the evil lengths that some would go to further their own ends. Silently, he prayed that his parents would save him. He no longer doubted the danger that he faced at the hands of his captors.

***

James answered the door and admitted the two police detectives. They introduced themselves as detectives Stewart and Bolton respectively. "We're very sorry about this situation Mister Wilson; we will do our best to get your son back," Detective Stewart said after the introductions.

"Thank you Detective, we appreciate both your assistance and that you have managed to keep this away from the press. My wife is not up to the strain of dealing with the press right now. Not to mention that the kidnappers were quite direct about not involving you. Your discretion is much appreciated."

"Thank you. Is the rest of the family still here Mister Wilson?" asked Detective Bolton.

"I've sent my other two children with their grandparents until this is resolved. I thought it best to distract them and to keep them from being underfoot while you investigate. My wife is exhausted and upstairs sleeping."

"That's fine. If we need to talk to them, we can always call them. I don't think that will be necessary though. We've talked to Aaron's young friend and his story checks out. He did mention that there were some people in the stands that weren't usually there. He wasn't sure if they came to watch the other team, but they looked a bit out place, especially their van. I guess the van was pretty beaten up for this neighborhood."

"That's not a lot to go on is it?" James asked.

"I'm afraid not," replied Bolton. "But that's what we have so far. We've placed traces on your phone line, but I would be surprised if they called from their hideout. You never know though, sometime kidnappers slip up. We managed to monitor the second phone call with the ransom delivery instructions, but the trace ran to a pay phone in a shopping mall. I suspect that the kidnappers are close to that area, but there are a lot of apartments and houses around there and it's a bit rundown. It could take us weeks to find them there."

"Weeks!" James exclaimed.

Just then, the phone rang. James looked at the detectives for guidance. "Go ahead and answer Mister Wilson, the trace is automatic and the conversation will be recorded. We're not as archaic as the movies make us out to be," Stewart informed him.

"Hello? Wilson residence, James speaking," James said automatically as he picked up the phone and turned on the speaker.

"Mister Wilson, you have been very bad and you were warned. You have contacted the police and that has a price," came the harsh sounding voice at the other end of the connection.

"A price?" asked James with fear in his voice. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't bother denying it Mister Wilson, we know. Did you think we were stupid and wouldn't watch you? The new price is ten million dollars and we will now be forced to take a piece of your son's life to demonstrate our seriousness. You shouldn't have made this mistake Mister Wilson, that was foolish, but it is done and your additional contribution will only help our cause." The click of a phone hanging up was audible to everyone in the room.

"What have I done?" James cried. Both detectives looked at each other with concern.

"We're extremely sorry at this turn of events, sir, but all we can do now is find your son or give them the ransom as they demanded. Can you arrange ten million?" Stewart asked.

"I can, but it will be very hard to do," replied James as he collapsed into a chair.

Bolton answered the ringing of his cell phone. "Bolton here. I see..."

***

Aaron was shaken awake. He'd been drifting in and out of the sleep, since whatever they had used to sedate him had made him feel both tired and nauseous. The lack of food in his stomach wasn't helping him either.

"Your parents made a mistake boy."

Aaron paled and began to shake. He tried to speak from behind his gag.

"There are two prices for their mistake. The first is the ransom has doubled. The second is a part of your life."

Aaron felt the needle as the darkness once again began to cover him.

Chapter 3: Found.

"We have some news," Bolton said as he hung up his cell phone. "The kidnappers have made a mistake, they used the same phone."

"How is that a break?" James asked.

"They'll call back, be assured of that, and this time we will have the phone watched."

"What of my son?" James felt a surge of hope at the news.

"Hopefully he will be okay. These threats are common, but they are not usually followed through."

"The 'usually' is cold comfort Detective."

"I wish I could offer more, but we don't know these kidnappers and we don't know what this cause of theirs is. For now, we have to wait until they call again. Get some sleep sir; we'll wake you if the phone rings."

James nodded. He was exhausted, but he didn't know how he could sleep through the fear and worry.

***

"The operation was successful. We're keeping the boy sedated, but he seems to be reacting badly to it," Said the gowned man as he lowered his mask from his face.

"It can't be helped; it was the best we could get on short notice. Have you packaged the part?" asked the shorter man from the van.

"Yes. The note is included. We have destroyed the remaining portions; they won't be able to use what we send."

"The boy will never reach Heaven now, but he is a spawn of devils, so he wouldn't have reached it anyways. Send the package and prepare to call the parents once it has been received."

"It will be done."

***

The doorbell rang, startling James, his wife, and the two detectives as they tried to eat some breakfast. It was a very restless night of worry for the two parents, Marianne had been told about the ransom change and had been extremely upset and fearful since.

James opened the door. "Delivery for James Wilson," said the courier. "Sign here."

"What is it?" James asked.

"I don't know sir; it was picked up from one of our courier drop points. Delivery has been paid in full."

"I see," responded James as he signed for the package and thanked the courier, closing the door.

"Who was it?" Marianne asked.

"A courier with a package," replied James as he began to open it.

"Careful, there may be fingerprints we can use," Stewart cautioned.

James nodded as he cut the bindings and around the package with greater care. He opened the box inside and found a metal container that was cold to the touch. With it was a note which he opened.

Mr. Wilson,

Behold one of the prices for your mistake. We have taken your son's life as a man; you will find the proof in the metal container. That is his first life that we have taken. Future mistakes might result in other lives, such as a life of vision or of speech, if you do not show more caution.

Marianne collapsed crying, "My baby, my poor baby. They are monsters!"

"Don't open the container sir! Doctors have a lot of skill; it may be possible for them to recover what has been lost. Now it is best to keep this container chilled," Bolton said as he stopped James from opening the container.

Tears streaming down his face, James nodded, "I understand. I hope you're right. These people will pay for their monstrous acts." He gathered his sobbing wife into his arms and led her to the sitting room to try and comfort her.

The phone rang. "What?" James roughly demanded as he answered, his normal polite greeting forgotten under the stress. His finger stabbed at the speaker button.

"You have gotten our package." It wasn't a question.

"You're a monster. Why have you done this to our son?"

"His many lives are paying for those lives of our people. Do not doubt that we will exact further payment if you fail." The phone line clicked.

Within a minute, Bolton's cell phone rang. "Bolton. You have him? Tail him carefully; we'll get the team in place." Bolton hung up.

James looked at the detective. "He made a mistake Mister Wilson, they used that phone again and one of our detectives is following the suspect. We'll get them."

***

Bolton and Stewart arrived outside the rundown apartment building. Their assistant was waiting with several uniformed men, keeping an additional watch on the building. "We found the van, I think. It's dark brown, a little beaten up, and there's a bicycle inside. We also know what apartment they're in," said the young assistant detective.

"Good," responded Stewart. "Let's get these bastards. Get everyone into position and seal off the exits."

***

The apartment door crashed open with a bang, surprising the four men playing cards around the folding table. One of them jumped up and began running towards the bedrooms. Bolton fired a round at him, taking the man in the lower back. The remaining three raised their hands as additional police entered the apartment and spread out to search.

"We found the boy!" one of the officers shouted from a bedroom. "It looks like he's hurt pretty bad. There are bandages and he's out cold."

"Get the ambulance people up here. We've got to get the kid and this slime bag I shot to the hospital ASAP. Put these others into the holding van and get the forensics team up here. Partner, can you read them their rights?"

As the men were led away, Stewart went through the standard recital, passing the ambulance attendants in the hall.

Bolton called James Wilson, "We have your son; he's alive and we're taking him to Grace Hospital. We'll meet you there." Bolton could almost feel the relief of James Wilson through the phone line.

Chapter 4: Decisions.

Grandma Wilson picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Hi mom, it's James. The police have found Aaron and he is at Grace Hospital."

"My goodness! Is he alright?" Grandma Wilson asked, relieved that Aaron had finally been found.

"Is he alright? I don't know if I can say that exactly, but he is alive. Mari and I are going to the hospital now, can you bring the kids? I'll explain everything once we hear from the police and the doctors."

"Okay dear. We're very relieved that they found him. We'll see you there." Grandma Wilson hung up the phone, "Children! Your brother has been found!"

"Is he okay, Grandma?" Susie asked.

"Your daddy didn't really say sweetheart. All he would tell me is that Aaron is at Grace Hospital and that he's alive. Your father said he would explain when we got there, so get your shoes on and we'll go."

***

James raced with Mari to the hospital as fast as he could. His mind was whirling with fear and concern for his young son and he could see similar concern in his wife's face as she clutched the cold metal box that neither wanted to open. Every now and then, a small sob would escape Mari as she thought of her son, but she was grateful for the strong and calming silence of her husband.

Arriving at Grace Hospital, James and Mari rushed into the Emergency Room and were greeted by the two detectives. "Good, you brought the box," mentioned Stewart. "The doctors have been waiting for this."

"Can we see our son?" Mari asked.

"I'm sorry ma'am," replied a woman's voice behind her. "He was brought in sedated and we're examining him to understand the extent of the harm. I'm Doctor Anne Sharpe; I've been looking after him since he arrived."

"Can you help him Doctor?" James asked.

"I hope so Mister Wilson," replied Dr. Sharpe. "We're depending a great deal on what we find in this container. I don't want to raise your hopes, but we have very good surgeons here and, if it is possible, it will be done."

"I understand Doctor and thank you."

Dr. Sharpe smiled kindly at the two parents as she headed back to the examination room with the metal container. She felt badly for the two, but even more so for young Aaron. The way the damage looked didn't give her a lot of hope in the container, and she was beginning to think that the parents were going to face some difficult choices.

***

"Mom!" Ken called as he entered the waiting area with his sister and grandparents. "How is Aaron? Have you heard anything?" Ken had been tearing himself apart since the incident happened, even though he knew that he couldn't have prevented. Ken was always the big brother, the protector. He felt that he had failed Aaron somehow.

"Not yet honey," Marianne replied. "The doctors are still examining him."

"What's taking so long Mari?" Grandma Wilson asked.

"It's the nature of what they did to him," Marianne replied as she began to cry again. "They hurt him terribly. My poor, sweet, baby." Grandma Wilson gathered Marianne into her arms as James came back from the counter area.

"What did they tell you James?" Grandpa Wilson asked.

"Not much. The doctors are still working on him," James replied.

"What happened dad?" Ken asked.

James sighed. He dreaded telling his family this, but they were going to know soon enough. "The kidnappers told us that they had taken away his life as a man."

Grandma Wilson gasped, "Oh my God!" Ken and his grandfather went white as sheets.

"What does that mean dad?" Susie asked, before Ken could hush her.

"It means, sweetheart, that they hurt your brother very badly down there. The doctors are trying to help him," James informed his daughter quietly, pointing downwards, as her eyes widened.

Before anyone else could ask any more questions, Dr. Sharpe came back out. "Mister and Missus Wilson, can I speak to you privately for a while?" she asked. Her face didn't hold out a lot of hope for the Wilson family as James and Marianne followed her into a private room.

"Tell us Doctor, we have to know," James quietly demanded.

"It's grave news sir, I have to be honest. The monsters that did this to your son were very careful to ensure that we would be helpless to repair their work. We tried, but too much was missing and we couldn't repair that."

"I... see..." James hugged Marianne tightly as she began crying once again. "What are our options?"

"We have three that I can see. The first is to do nothing other than to ensure basic urination function, but this will leave Aaron effectively sexless. The second is to try and attach the remainders and a prosthetic from skin grafts, but it will never function sexually. The last is to make him a girl and give him some hope of a normal life."

"What?!? A girl?!?" James looked shocked at the suggestion.

"I understand Mister Wilson, believe me, but the third option is really the best. The other two options leave him with no future possibility of sexual intimacy and that may cause even more damage to him in the long run. As a woman, he would at least have options for intimacy even if it was with another woman. We have saved a large number of nerves and that will allow him to still experience some pleasure."

"I can't think... I don't know... What does Aaron say?"

"I don't want to pressure your decision Mister Wilson, Aaron is still not awake. The sedation that he was under has worn off, but the stress to his body and his young mind has put him into a light coma. His vital signs are strong and we have every reason to believe that he will come out of it in a few days or a week, but we don't have that much time. If we are to make use of the nerve cells, we will need to act almost immediately."

James' mind reeled with the implications of this decision. "It seems too drastic doctor, are you sure that this is the best course?" he asked, seeking some reassurance that this made sense.

Doctor Sharpe looked at the two with sympathy. "There are schools of thought on this Mister Wilson, for and against. Aaron is still quite young, his gender and sexual identity are still forming and can be molded. He will be, at least visually, very attractive as a girl and will have, I suspect, little difficulty in that respect. With this surgery, he would be able to function reasonably normally and we can provide counseling and assist him in this journey."

"Can we have a few minutes?" James asked. "Marianne and I need to discuss this." James was still quite uncertain. The doctor's argument made some sense, but it bothered him anyways.

"The specialist is on his way, and he will be here in about fifteen minutes. Once he is here, he will need to know your decision. Time is of the essence."

"I understand. We will let you know by then," James assured her.

Dr. Sharpe quietly left the two alone.

***

"What do we do James? He's my darling little boy, I can't lose him!" Marianne cried.

"Oh my love, I wish I knew the right answer," James tried to comfort her. "We need to do what is best for Aaron. We need to give him a chance at recovering his life, his hopes."

"How would making him a girl do that?" Marianne asked, "His hopes are shattered with this."

"I don't know Mari, but I fear a lifetime without real intimacy for him if we don't agree to this. Is that better or worse? I don't know. I wish Aaron could answer this question. I feel like I'm betraying him with any answer we could give. The doctor made a lot of sense there, though it disturbs me to admit it."

Marianne pulled herself upright as if she had reached a decision. "My beautiful son is treasure to me. It's not a result of his outer skin; it's a result of his generous heart and his warm smile. That he would not be able to share himself deeply with another would be a great loss to him and to others. We have to give him a chance to find a new path to happiness. The Doctor is right."

James kissed his wife tenderly. He believed that she was right.

He wanted to believe she was right.

Aaron was a strong, generous boy who was open and honest with his love and affection. To leave him without a chance, or a slim one at best, of having that reciprocated as an adult would be almost criminal in their view.

Together, James and Marianne rose to give their answer to the Doctor.

Chapter 5: Audra.

James and Marianne had sent their other two children home with their grandparents. The surgery was going to take a long time and there wasn't much point in everybody staying at the hospital. Of course, there was no way that either of them could leave; they wanted to be there.

The sun was just coming up when Dr. David Caine, the specialist who was working on Aaron, came into the waiting area. He could see that the two parents had stayed awake most of the night. They looked exhausted and their eyes were rimmed with red. "Good morning folks. The operation was successful."

"How is he?" James asked.

"Aaron is fine, though the coma is still hanging on. He had a very bad reaction to what they had used to sedate him. The signs are good though, so we are hopeful that it will be a short one."

Dr. Caine gestured for James and Marianne to sit. "An important aspect of recovery for both of you, as well," he continued. "Is that you must start thinking and speaking of Aaron in the feminine form. She will be struggling with her new identity, with the conflicts inside her, and she will need help and reinforcement. I wish I could be easier on you with this, but it is critical for her and it is as equally critical for you."

James nodded as Marianne spoke quietly, "We will need a new name for her."

Dr. Caine smiled gently at them as he nodded, "You can see Aaron now. Your voices might help to bring her out of the coma."

***

James had been researching names and they had finally found two that they felt suited their child. The first name they chose was Audra, meaning "noble strength." The second name was Jennifer, meaning "fair spirit." For them, it summed up their child and the hopes they had for her future. Audra Jennifer Wilson was the name now around her wrist and beside her door.

It had been several days since the surgery and Audra was still not out of her coma. Both parents spent hours every day talking to their child, trying to wake her. They talked, they pleaded, they ordered, they cajoled, but so far without avail. Today, Marianne sat beside her new daughter gently washing her face with a soothing stroke. She had often done this for Aaron when he was sick, so she had hopes that it would help Audra now.

"Mommy?"

James sat bolt upright in the chair where he was reading the newspaper as Marianne leaned forward and said, "Yes sweetheart?"

"I hurt mommy. Where am I?"

"I know sweetheart, I know, but you're awake now and you will get better. You're in the hospital and you're safe now," Marianne told her.

"Okay mommy," Audra murmured as she fell back to sleep. Real sleep this time and not the drug-induced coma that had claimed these last few days.

James looked at his wife with tears in his eyes as he sprinted to the nursing station, but he was also smiling. "She's awake!" A cheer went up from the nursing station and Dr. Sharpe was paged. James went back to Audra's room and hugged his wife who was still stroking her child's brow.

***

It was late at night when Audra awoke again. Her parents had been sent home by the doctor to get some rest and to tell their family the good news.

"Mommy?"

The lack of answer scared her for a moment until she realized that it was late and she remembered that she was in the hospital. She didn't feel much pain, she felt mostly numb from the waist down, but she didn't really understand why.

"I see you're awake angel," came a soft voice from the doorway as one of the night nurses entered. "Your mommy and daddy went home for awhile, to get some sleep. They'll be back this morning to see you."

"Oh. Thank you, ma'am."

The nurse laughed, "Call me Nurse Williams sweetie, 'ma'am' makes me feel so old. Better yet, why don't you call me Angie?"

"Okay Angie. I'm Aaron," Audra replied as she stuck out her hand.

"I know sweetie," Angie smiled. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, please."

Angie held up a glass with a straw so that Audra could drink. "Slowly sweetie, you haven't had much in your stomach for quite a few days."

"Days? What happened to me? The last thing I remember is these voices telling me that I would have to pay the price because my parents made a mistake."

"You've been asleep for day's angel. You had us worried."

"I'm sorry," Audra sounded genuinely contrite.

"Oh no, don't apologize. Very evil men did evil things to you. You don't have to apologize to anyone for that. Remember angel, you didn't do anything wrong and you don't need to apologize for it," Angie soothed.

"What did they do to me Angie?"

"I can't tell you that angel; your parents will do that. It wouldn't be right for me to tell you."

"Okay Angie, I'm still tired. I think I'll sleep some more." Audra was feeling safe and secure for the first time in days.

"Sleep well little one," Angie responded as she stroked the hair from Audra's eyes.

***

James and Marianne felt a lot better in the morning as they entered the hospital. While they both dreaded telling Audra what had happened, they both felt better knowing she was awake.

"Good morning folks! I have some more good news for you," Angie told them as they approached the nursing station.

"We could use good news Angie!" James smiled.

"Audra woke up last night and we chatted for a bit. She seems quite bright and is a most delightful child. You may have to fight all the nurses to take her away from us if this morning is any judge," Angie smiled at them.

Marianne smiled back gratefully, "Is he... um, she awake now?"

"Yes and we've called for Doctor Coulson to come down to help you."

"Doctor Coulson?"

"That would be me," a soft, pleasant voice from behind said. "Sheila Coulson, at your service." The Wilsons turned to see the smiling face of an attractive younger woman. She had an almost pixie look of irrepressible humor with deep compassion in her eyes. "I'm here to help both of you and Audra through what can be a trying experience. From what the nurses have told me, you have named her well. In one morning, she has charmed all of them with her grace and strength. This will be difficult, but I believe that her strong character will see her through. Are you ready?"

"Thank you doctor," James said after that breathless rush. "I think so."

"Sheila, please. We'll be spending quite a bit of time together and I simply hate formalities."

"Sheila, then. I guess we're as ready as we'll ever be. I'm James and this is my wife Marianne."

"Mari, for short," smiled Marianne in greeting.

"Do you want me to explain what has happened, or would one of you prefer to do it?" Sheila asked.

"I'll do it," James responded, taking a deep breath. James knew this wasn't going to be an easy thing to do, but he had to do it.

Sheila smiled reassurance. "That's a wise choice. I'll observe and if I see a bad reaction, I can sedate her quickly. Don't be alarmed if that happens; denial and anger are definitely stages that she will experience."

***

"Mommy! Daddy!" Audra cried as her parents entered the room. Both rushed over to her and hugged her gently.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to worry you," Audra tried to apologize after they had let her go.

"Don't apologize sweetheart, you're not to blame," Marianne told her. "We're grateful that you have come back to us."

"How do you feel slugger?" James asked, trying to put off the inevitable.

"I hurt a bit daddy, down there, but I guess I feel okay. Nobody will tell me what happened. What happened daddy?"

James felt the tears well up in his eyes as he sat on the bed beside his new daughter. Brushing them away, he sighed deeply and took Audra's hands in his own. "This is going to be very hard for you and I want you to understand that your mother and I love you very much. We love you as much as we ever did and that love was already boundless."

Audra look frightened at those words. "Am I going to die daddy?" she whispered.

James breath caught in his throat, "No slugger, you aren't going to die, though you might sometimes wish you had. You have to be strong for me and for you. You have to have the courage to accept and to grow. Can you promise me that you'll try?"

"Yes daddy, I'll try."

James smiled at her gently. "Those men that kidnapped you did a very bad thing to you. They did this because we tried to find you and help you. They are evil men and they have been caught and will be punished. However, what they did to you couldn't be repaired, all the doctors tried."

"What did they do daddy? Oh no, it's down there!" Audra cried out at the sudden realization of the source of her pain. She tried to reach down to where she was bandaged, her hands curled as if to pull them off.

James held her close and prevented her hands from reaching the bandages. "Yes, it's down there. We tried, the doctors tried, but there wasn't anything we could do." He could feel Audra sobbing almost noiselessly into his chest as he held her. "We couldn't leave you like that. We had to make a decision for you; you were in a coma and couldn't do it for yourself. Oh, my darling, sweet, child, we had to make you into a girl."

Audra screamed, "No! No! No!" Her head shook wildly, her denial echoed through the corridors of the hospital. Sheila quickly stepped in and injected a sedative into Audra as the monitors attached to her went wild. As James gently laid her back down, her body continued shaking and her head still turned back and forth in denial, her voice mutely mouthing denial. Mercifully, the sedative put her to sleep.

James and Marianne held each other and cried.

***

Angie heard Audra's scream of denial as she was preparing to depart her shift. She sat back down; her eyes tearing at the pain that the child must have been feeling.

"Are you okay Angie?" asked Marie Jacobs, the day nurse who had just come on shift.

"They told her. Oh that poor, sweet child."

"Go home and sleep Angie," Marie told her gently, her eyes echoing the pain that Angie felt. "I can see she has already stolen your heart, so sleep and come back to work strong for her. She'll need that."

"Thanks Marie." Angie gave Marie a grateful smile.

***

Sheila sat with James and Marianne in the room. "I'm sorry I had to put her under, she was going in to hysterics."

"It's okay Sheila, I don't think I could have taken that otherwise," James smiled wanly. "I've done many things in my life that were difficult, but that was the hardest by far."

Sheila accepted the smile and nodded agreement. "We need to discuss something important."

"What's that?" asked James, struggling to refocus.

"You and Mari need to understand the stages she is going to face when she wakes up again. For her, Aaron has died, and she will face that in five general stages."

"What are the stages?" Marianne asked.

"The first stage is denial. She will attempt to deny that it has happened and she'll be able to maintain that until she sees for herself. Next is anger. She'll be angry at you, at the doctor, and at herself. The third stage is bargaining. At this point she will be desperate to regain herself and she will bargain with whomever she thinks can do that. The fourth stage is depression. We need to be very careful here and watch her closely. It is critical that she pass this stage to the final stage of acceptance. It is our goal to get her there in one piece."

"How will we know when she reaches a stage?" Marianne asked.

"It's usually quite obvious Mari, especially anger and depression. Bargaining doesn't last too long because it's fruitless and often people discover that quickly. Some or most of these stages can happen quite quickly and they may happen here. Some may not even happen; this process is not graven in stone. However, the nurses know what to watch for and will help when neither of us is here."

"How much longer will she be asleep?"

"A few more hours. Rest is good for her right now. It will help to heal both her mind and her body. I'm going to begin counseling her when she wakes up. If we have any hope of her accepting her new life, we need to start now and teach her."

"Is there anything more we can do right now?" James asked.

"Well, Audra will be here for a few more weeks at least, but you need to prepare for her to come home. What will be truly hard for her is that the nature of her injuries and the mental reinforcement work we need to do will almost certainly require her to wear dresses for the next four to six weeks," Sheila told him, mentally wincing at that white lie. "So you need to be able to show her that being a girl isn't a bad thing, that there are rewards to it. Don't try to strip away her life as Aaron, but try to introduce the feminine and encourage her with rewards. Above all, don't punish her for behaving like a boy, that will cause her to rebel, but don't reward her for the masculine. It's positive reinforcement, not negative that you want to use."

Chapter 6: Stages.

Audra awoke several hours later with her mother sitting quietly beside her. Her mind was still reeling from the revelation that her father had made earlier in the morning. She kept repeating "no" in her mind, over and over again. "What do I know about being a girl?" Audra thought.

"Mommy?" Audra asked out loud.

"I'm here sweetheart," Marianne replied. "Are you okay?"

"Tell me it isn't true mommy? Please! Mommy..." Audra cried softly.

"Oh, my darling baby, I wish I could tell you that. You don't know how much I wish I could tell you that," Marianne replied as she gathered her new daughter into her arms.

Audra cried softly in her mother's arms as she fell back to sleep.

***

Ken and Susie finally arrived home after the extended stay with their grandparents. Both were a little frustrated at being kept away from their brother and nobody would tell them anything. Today, finally, their parents were going to tell them what had happened and let them visit Aaron at the hospital.

"Mom, Dad, we're home!" Ken shouted as they entered.

"We're in the front parlor son," James called. "We need to have a family talk."

Entering the room, both Ken and Susie could see the strain on their parents faces. Obviously the lack of sleep, coupled with worry for Aaron, had left them exhausted. "How's Aaron? Is he coming home soon?" Ken asked.

"Sit down kids, this is really important," James told them quietly.

Both sat quickly, they could see that their parents had something very serious to tell them.

"I really don't know how to say this; it's very hard for us. Do you remember what I told you about the injury he received?" James asked.

"Yes dad," Ken replied as Susie nodded agreement.

"The doctors tried very hard to help him, but they couldn't," James began to explain. "We didn't tell you that night, but we talked to the doctors and finally agreed that the best thing for Aaron was to make him into a girl."

"Oh my God! Are you serious?" Ken exclaimed, his legs crossing unconsciously.

"Very. This is not something I would joke about Ken... you should know that."

Susie looked stunned, "Aaron is going to be my sister?"

"Yes sweetie, she will be. You have to help her; she hasn't grown up with this," Marianne told her daughter.

"She? Her?" Ken asked looking a little dazed.

"Yes," James said firmly. "She and her. You have to get used to it and you had better start now. Your new sister is Audra Jennifer and you will love and treat her like you always have."

"No sweat dad, I didn't mean it that way. I think my brain has just gone numb."

"I know the feeling son, believe me I know the feeling."

"When can I see my new sister daddy?" Susie asked.

James smiled at her, "Today. Audra should have come out of sedation by now."

"Sedation?" Ken questioned.

"Not surprisingly, Audra became very upset when I told her what happened. The doctor had to sedate her to keep her from going into hysterics. She woke up a while ago and talked a bit with your mother before falling asleep again. She's in denial now, but the doctors don't believe that it will last very long. After that, I expect she'll be very angry, and probably mostly at me."

"At you?"

"Yes, at me. Those monsters did this to her, but all she really understands right now is that I told the doctors to make her into a girl. It will take a while for her to see past that."

***

"Hey brat, how's it going?" Ken asked from the doorway.

Audra looked up as her brother and sister walked into the room. "Ken! I'm so glad to see you. You too, Susie, I didn't mean just Ken."

Susie ran up and hugged Audra, she was already crying. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

"I'll be better when everyone stops playing games with me," Audra replied while hugging her sister back.

"Games?" Ken asked.

"Yeah, they keep telling me I'm a girl. Can you figure that?"

Ken looked at his new sister sadly, but decided it was better to drop it. Obviously, Audra didn't want to hear the truth right now and he gave Susie a warning shake of his head as she was about to respond.

"So, I hear you've been lazing about watching TV and reading magazines all day," Ken commented.

Audra laughed. "Hey, it's summer vacation you know!"

"When do you get out?" Susie asked.

"Soon, I think. The doctor thought in a couple of weeks. I want to go home, but they're trying to make sure everything is okay."

"Were you scared, you know, when..." Susie whispered.

Audra shuddered, remembering the darkness and the voices. She nodded at Susie, afraid to speak for a moment.

***

Audra was awake when Angie came into the room later that night to change the dressings on the wound. "Well, hello angel! How are you feeling?" Angie asked in a cheerful voice.

"Hi Angie! I'm okay," Audra conceded.

"I'm just here to change your dressings and see if you need anything. Do you want me to screen the dressing change?"

"I'd like to watch Angie. May I?"

"You can angel, but I'll warn you that it may upset you. Can you be brave for me?"

Audra nodded her head. She had been waiting for this, the proof she needed that everybody was fibbing to her. She didn't really understand why everybody would do that, but she just couldn't believe that you could make somebody into a girl.

"Okay angel, lie back a bit and lift your knees. This may sting a bit, but I'll try to go as gently as I can."

Audra complied with the instructions, feeling very strange as she did so. It didn't seem normal as she watched Angie carefully removing the dressings. It stung a bit, but it wasn't that bad --- she had felt worse before. As the last dressing was removed, Audra looked over and down at herself and bit her lip. Outwardly, she tried to look calm, but inside her mind was screaming at her, "It's gone! It's gone!"

Angie sensed Audra tensing at her first sight of her new anatomy. She knew this was a risk, but Dr. Coulson felt it important for Audra to see this when she was ready to ask, even if the healing process made it look worse. Angie's heart was breaking at the obvious mental pain that the girl tried to hide from her, an effort that stemmed from trying to be brave as she had promised. Pretending not to notice Audra's reaction, Angie quickly changed the dressing and smoothed the hospital gown back over Audra's knees.

"You were very brave angel, I'm proud of you. Do you need anything or did you want to sleep?"

"I'd like to sleep Angie. Thank you," Audra managed.

"Okay angel. Sleep well," Angie said as she closed the room door behind her. She hurried to call Dr. Coulson.

***

In the darkness, Audra seethed anger at her father. Her mind screamed at her, "He made me into a girl! He must have hated me as a boy because I was small. Why else would he make me a girl?" Over and over again these questions pounded through Audra as she tried to come to grips with what happened. Hot, angry tears streamed down the sides of her face.

Audra's tears were interrupted by the opening of the door and Dr. Coulson walking in. "Hello Audra, Angie thought that you might need someone to talk to." Sheila couldn't miss the unmistakable signs of crying on Audra's face.

"My name isn't Audra, its Aaron." Audra stared towards the window.

"I see. Do you hate Audra that much?" Sheila asked.

"What?" Audra asked, surprised by the question and turned to look at Sheila.

"Do you hate Audra that much?"

"Audra doesn't exist."

"Ah, but she does. Audra is you and you are Audra. Why is that bad?"

"I'm a boy! Not a girl!" Audra balled her fists.

"What's wrong with girls?"

"Nothing."

"Then why would being one be so bad?"

"I don't know, it just is!" Audra shouted, frustrated at the questions. "I hate him!"

"Hate who? Aaron?"

"My dad!"

"Why?"

"He did this to me! He made me a girl, but I'm not a girl!" Audra cried.

"Why would he do that?" Sheila asked.

"Because I'm small, not like Ken, and people say I'm cute like a girl." Sheila could see the pain that admission had cost Audra.

"You're wrong Audra. I think you need to understand something here. Evil men kidnapped you. They brutally and cruelly tore something away from you because they believed it would destroy you. Your father made his decision because he wanted you to win. Your father believed you were stronger than they thought. Do you know why he called you 'Audra' afterwards?"

Audra shook her head, partly in answer to the question and partly in denial.

"It means 'noble strength' and he believed that it was a name that demonstrated who you are. Your father loves you beyond all imagining. He didn't do this because he hated who you were. He did this because he loved you and trusted you to succeed."

Audra began crying in deep, wracking sobs as Sheila's words sunk through the anger and denial that she had been keeping. She was a bright child, she grasped quickly that the doctor had told her the truth, even if she didn't want to accept it.

Chapter 7: Home.

Audra spent a few more weeks in the hospital for healing and for counseling. Sheila Coulson was spending a lot of time with Audra, working at getting Audra to accept her new life. It was a tough battle. Audra varied between fits of anger and bursts of denial, followed by periods of what seemed like acceptance or, at least, resignation.

"I don't know Anne," Sheila admitted. "She's a strong kid, and a very sweet one, but she hasn't accepted this change."

Anne Sharpe, Audra's doctor, shook her head. "I hate keeping patients in the hospital, she needs to get outside and get some fresh air. We're removing the stitches today, then I have to teach her to use stents, but after that..."

Sheila winced at the mention of stents. "That is not going to go very well."

Anne nodded agreement. "It has to be done. I want to remove the catheter too."

"That means teaching her the necessary hygiene as well."

"Yes, but she has to learn these."

Sheila sighed. "That she does. I'd better be there for this."

"I was hoping you would say that," Anne admitted as she visibly relaxed.

"Is Nurse Angie Williams around?" Sheila asked.

"I think so. Why?"

"Audra trusts Angie. Trusts her quite a bit really. I think that having Angie show her these things would be better than having you or I do it."

***

Audra was watching a baseball game when the three entered the room. "Who's winning?" Sheila asked.

"The Blue Jays, for once," Audra noted. Audra was suddenly curious as to why Sheila, Angie, and Doctor Sharpe were all in her room at once. "Normally, the Yankees beat them. What's going on?"

"Well Audra, I have to remove your stitches and then Nurse Williams and Doctor Coulson are going to help you," Doctor Sharpe told her.

"Help me?"

"Well, there are some important things for you to learn and we thought it best if Nurse Williams helped you. In a couple more days, you'll be able to go home and you need to be prepared for that."

"Okay," Audra replied cautiously.

"Don't worry angel, I'll be with you and I'll help you," Angie told her.

Audra smiled at Angie gratefully, but she was very nervous. Every time they removed the dressing, Audra got upset, even when she tried not to.

"Do you want me to screen this?" Angie asked.

Audra nodded. While Audra usually watched her dressing being changed, in the hopes that everything had gone back to the way it was, she felt that this time she should avoid it.

Angie prepared the screen around Audra's waist that blocked her view of Doctor Sharpe's work. Once she completed that, she wheeled over the tray for the doctor and sat beside Audra, taking her hand. "So, you like baseball?" Angie asked as distraction.

Audra winced at the feeling of the dressing being removed. "I love it," she replied.

"Who's your favorite team?"

"The Yankees," Audra admitted as she felt the tug of her stitches being removed. The feeling was very disconcerting, distracting her from the game and making her more apprehensive.

"Are they any good?" Angie asked. Sheila nodded at Angie from the other side of the bed, smiling encouragement at the ongoing distraction.

Angie and Audra talked about baseball as Doctor Sharpe worked. As the minutes passed, Angie could feel Audra's grip on her hand tighten. When the Doctor removed the catheter, Audra's grip became like iron and she struggled to answer the last question about the Yankees.

Doctor Sharpe stood up. "All done! That wasn't so..." Doctor Sharpe trailed off seeing Audra's face. "Why don't I leave you with Sheila and Angie for now?" Doctor Sharpe felt bad. She knew the theories, subscribed to them, but she was beginning to doubt them a bit. Smiling encouragement that she didn't feel, Doctor Sharpe pushed the cart out of the room.

***

"How did it go Sheila?" Doctor Sharpe asked later.

"Poorly."

"How so?"

"Well, first it took her a while to urinate. We finally pushed her into a shower, which she needed anyways, and that seemed to do the trick. I'm relieved that she was able to do it, I wouldn't want to have you put the catheter back in." Sheila Coulson rubbed her temples as she related the events.

"Well, that's a relief, medically speaking. How about the stents?"

Sheila closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. "That was bad, as I expected. It took nearly an hour to convince her to use them; she resisted them a great deal. Angie was a godsend there. She was so incredibly patient with Audra that I might have to put her up for sainthood or something. You know, I didn't think such a sweet kid as Audra even knew words like that."

"Did she use the stents?" Anne was anxious to ensure that Audra was practicing the necessary regimen to avoid future complications.

Sheila nodded. "She did."

"And?"

"God Anne, the poor child was almost hysterical. It was a combination of shame, pain, and outright fear that nearly sent her off the deep end. She's so damn young to even remotely be feeling such things, let alone having to practically violate herself out of medical necessity."

Anne dropped her eyes wearily and sighed. "Sheila, we talked about this. Those animals left us with very little to work with and so we had to take action like this. It's better for her to be a woman than to be a non-functioning man."

"I hope you're right Anne. I really and truly do, but this is very hard for me and even harder for Audra. When does she go home?"

"Friday."

"I really need to talk to her parents."

***

Audra was having a hard time of it. She realized the necessity of learning proper hygiene for a girl, despite all of her desire to not have to learn it, but the stents? They hurt, they hurt a lot and the process embarrassed the new girl. Despite hating the process and hating her current situation, Audra was smart enough to realize that failure to do it would only lead to more surgery, more pain. So, Audra did what she had to do, but it didn't mean that she had to like it.

So, it was a tear streaked face that Angie Williams saw as she entered the room that Friday morning. "Good morning angel, how did you sleep?" Angie asked.

"Okay, I guess." Audra wasn't feeling very talkative. She seldom felt all that talkative after using the stents and today was no different. Audra wiped at the tears and attempted a smile.

"Well, I have some news that will cheer you up," Angie told her with a smile.

"What's that?"

"You're going home!"

"Great," Audra said without feeling. Everyone at the hospital seemed to think that going home was going to be special for Audra, but she knew better. Going home meant facing friends, facing more family, and facing the reality of her new lot in life. To put it bluntly, Audra was scared silly about going home.

Angie frowned slightly. "You don't seem too happy about this," she noted.

Audra shook her head.

"Why not?"

"I'm scared," Audra admitted. "Scared of my family. Scared of my friends."

"Audra, angel, you have no reason to fear." Angie was trying to pour on her best bedside manner, stroking Audra's forehead as she attempted to reassure the child. "You're a good kid and your family is really nice, there is nothing to fear."

"You don't understand," Audra thought, but instead she just nodded at Angie and attempted a smile.

Angie accepted the weak attempt at a smile as 'good enough' for now. "Lord knows," she thought, "The kid is tough enough to make the attempt. Many supposedly stronger boys or men would have probably have been destroyed by this already."

***

Marianne Wilson packed the small suitcase with clothing for Audra. She had some misgivings about the instructions from Sheila about bringing a dress or a skirt instead of loose pants. Sheila, and Anne Sharpe, had both indicated that while the dress wasn't a physical necessity, they thought it was a mental necessity. The purpose, they explained, was to get Audra used to the idea of being a girl as quickly as possible. It was to have the exterior reinforce the interior. Marianne thought that it might be too much, but as she wasn't a doctor, so she went along with their suggestion. Just in case, though, she packed a pair of pale blue track pants into the bag. "At least they're girls track pants," Marianne thought in response to the mental image of two disapproving doctors. "That ought to count for something."

"All set?" James Wilson asked from the doorway as he watched his wife hesitate over the overnight bag.

Marianne nodded and zipped up the bag decisively. "Have you and Ken finished the last touches on the bedroom?" she asked.

"Yep, it's all set. We've tried to be careful not to make it too much; there is still a lot of Aaron in there. We've kept the posters up, her trophies, and such. Still, it looks a lot more like Susie's room than Ken's now."

Marianne sighed with the necessity. "Shall we go?" she asked.

James nodded and took the bag from his wife.

***

Audra was talking with Sheila when her parents entered her room carrying the travel bag. Sheila smiled a welcome as James asked, "All set slugger?"

Audra nodded. "I guess so," she replied a bit hesitantly.

James was a bit taken aback by the unenthusiastic response. "Hmm... well, your mom is going to help you get ready and I'm going to finish off all of the paperwork so you can come home." He smiled encouragement as he left the room for the nursing station.

Marianne plopped the bag onto the bed. "Come on sweetheart, it won't be so bad. Ken and Susie miss you and Mike has been calling every day. I've brought some clothing for you."

Audra looked at the bag with distaste. Sheila had forewarned her that she would be wearing a dress and Audra had been dreading it from that point on. However, the first thing her mother pulled out was a pair of plain, white, cotton underwear. "Those aren't so bad," Audra thought. "Even if they don't have a fly in them." Dutifully, Audra put on the underwear when they were handed to her.

When Marianne pulled out a light blue top, Sheila could almost see the relief on Audra's face. Obviously, the girl had been dreading a dress and a top would seem to indicate that there wasn't a dress. Almost smiling, Audra put on the top. It was girl's top, she could tell from the white flower patterns along the sleeve and neck, but it wasn't a dress.

Marianne hesitated over the skirt. Like Sheila, she could sense that Audra had been dreading a dress and that the appearance of the top alleviated that stress. Obviously, Audra hadn't even considered a skirt. Still, Marianne had to try and follow the directions she had been given by the doctors and she pulled out the jean skirt.

Audra's eyes widened and she backed away. "No. No. No. I can't!" Turning, she fled into the bathroom and locked the door.

"Audra!" Marianne and Sheila said at the same time.

"Can you open it?" Marianne asked Sheila.

"I can, but I think we'd better talk to her first."

The two women went to the bathroom door. "Audra, please come out," Marianne cajoled.

"No! I can't wear that! I just can't," Audra shouted from the other side of the door.

"Audra, we talked about this," Sheila reminded. "You have to get used to it sometime. Besides, it's better for your healing." Sheila hated to tell that white lie, but she was acting under her best knowledge of what to do.

"Why now? Why?" Audra asked. She was shaking from her reaction to the situation.

Marianne shook her head at Sheila and held up the track pants. "It's delaying the inevitable Marianne," Sheila argued.

"I know, but I think the stress of going home is going to be hard enough as it is," Marianne asserted.

"I agree," Sheila admitted. "I wasn't keen on this idea to begin with. Anne seemed to be under the impression that it was important to start it fast and hard. I'm letting my better judgment as a psychiatrist get overridden by a surgeon."

"Audra, come out," Marianne instructed. "You can wear track pants instead."

"Truth?" Audra asked feeling a great deal of relief.

"Truth," Marianne affirmed.

Audra unlocked the door of the bathroom and came out as Marianne handed the track pants to her. Like the top, they were girls track pants, but at least they weren't a skirt. "Thank you mommy," Audra said as she donned the pants, her shaking subsiding.

"It is delaying the inevitable Audra," Marianne told her. "You will need to get used to dresses and skirts sometime."

Audra nodded reluctantly. "I know. I just can't yet." To Audra, the thought of wearing such overtly feminine clothing meant surrender, meant that she had finally given up on being a boy again.

Marianne picked up Audra and placed her on the bed. She took out a pair of white summer sandals and buckled them on to Audra's feet. Then she brushed Audra's hair and placed it into a small ponytail. Audra didn't resist these ministrations; she had found her small victory over the skirt and figured that a strategic retreat was necessary for the moment. "No sense in pushing my luck," she thought.

As Audra finished getting ready, Angie wheeled in a chair for the trip out. Angie was surprised to see Audra in track pants, she had expected a skirt, but she had a good guess as to what transpired. "Are we all set?" Angie asked. "One free ride per customer."

Audra nodded and climbed of the bed. Before getting into the wheelchair, she faced herself in the mirror. Looking back at her was a young girl, dressed in blue. Audra looked for traces of the boy in that mirror and couldn't find it. Her face paled and she fainted.

Angie ran to the bathroom and retrieved a damp facecloth as Marianne and Sheila lifted Audra back onto the bed. Sheila felt a small lump on the back of Audra's head. "She's going to have a nasty headache I think," she commented.

As Angie attempted to revive Audra, Marianne asked, "What brought that on?"

"I think she was surprised by her appearance. Audra has persisted in the belief that she's a boy and that she can't look like a girl. The shock of really looking like one was probably too much to handle all at once."

"She's coming around," Angie told them.

"Ow. My head hurts," Audra announced. "What happened?"

"You fainted," Angie told her.

"Oh." Audra actually blushed from embarrassment.

Angie helped Audra back to the wheelchair while Audra carefully avoided looking at the mirror again. Once seated, Angie wheeled her down to the nurse's station where James was waiting patiently.

"What took so long?" James asked.

"A little setback," Sheila told him. "Nothing to worry about."

"Alright then, are we all set?" James asked.

"Well angel," Angie said as she crouched down in front of the wheelchair. "You be strong out there and don't let anyone get you down. Come back and visit me sometime."

Audra gave Angie a hug, "I will Angie, thank you for everything."

***

Audra grew more and more nervous as they got closer to home. Almost near panic, she tightened her grip on her mother's hand as they opened the front door.

"We're home!" James called out.

Chapter 8: I Feel Alien and Strange, Kinda Out of Range...

Audra was nearly overwhelmed by the stampede of her brother and sister welcoming her home. Ken picked her up and twirled her around. "Welcome home!" he shouted.

The reaction from Ken froze Audra; it was the kind of reaction that Susie might have gotten had she been ill. Audra was unsure of how to react.

"Put her down you big oaf," Susie instructed as she slapped Ken on the shoulder. "She just got out of the hospital!"

"I won't break," Audra admitted as Ken let her down.

"We have something to show you," Ken told her. "Dad and I worked on this for weeks and we really hope that you like it."

"What is it?" Audra asked.

"It's a surprise," Ken told her as he took her hand and led her upstairs with everyone else trailing. They stopped in front of Audra's room, the door was closed and Audra became nervous about what had been done. "Ta da!" Ken shouted as he flung open the door.

The first thing Audra noticed was that her baseball trophies and posters were still there. That alone provided her with a sense of relief that the remainder of the room didn't even register on her. Then, as she entered the room, Audra noticed the distinct, though subdued, feminine touch. The walls had been repainted in light pastels, not pink thankfully, and the curtains and bedspread had been replaced with ones that had flowers and lace on them. Audra stood in the center of the room and slowly twirled. Her eyes took in the strange desk with the lighted mirror, the full-length mirror on a stand near her closet, and the stuffed animals that littered her bed.

"Well, what do you think?" Ken asked.

Audra stood there for a second. Part of her rebelled at the new feminine touches, but another part of her saw the honest attempt by her father and brother to retain Audra's sense of self and her accomplishments. "It's... It's okay, I guess," Audra told them hesitantly.

"Just okay?" James asked before Ken could.

"I..." Audra burst into tears. "Thank you for not destroying Aaron!" Audra hugged her father. Audra had no other way to articulate her fears. She had been afraid that her whole life before now would have been erased, as if Aaron had never existed. Though the room was much more obviously a girl's room, it didn't lose Aaron in the process.

"We wouldn't do that Audra," James told her as he hugged her back.

***

After dinner that night, Audra moped around her new bedroom. She had already opened the closet to reveal a selection of dresses, skirts, tops, and shoes galore. The closet was in a firmly closed state at this moment. From Audra's perspective, her dressers weren't much better. Those too contained an assortment of items that could only be classed as feminine. The only saving grace was the assortment of shorts and track pants that were found.

Finding the room too depressing for the moment, Audra decided to seek out her brother. She found him hanging out in his room listening to music. "What are you listening to?" she asked as she entered.

"Roger Waters, Radio K.A.O.S." Ken told her.

"Who?"

Ken laughed. "Heathen," he commented as the lyrics to the next song came out of the speakers...

I like staying with my Uncle Dave
And I like playing with his great dane
But I don't fit
I feel alien and strange, Kinda outta range

"That's how I feel," Audra told Ken as the song stanza completed.

"Huh?" Ken asked, startled from his reverie of music.

"I feel like an alien. Look at me! They made me into a girl! I'm an alien in my own body."

Ken sighed as he contemplated his new sister. "You know, Audra, I'm not an expert..." he began.

"That's another thing. 'Audra' is what everyone calls me, like Aaron never existed. It wasn't bad enough that they made me a girl, but they took away my name!" Audra burst into tears.

Ken pulled Audra close. "Here's what they told me kid," Ken said. "And I don't know if they're right or wrong, 'cause I'm not a doctor. They told me that you were hurt real bad. They said that if they didn't do this, you would neither a man nor a woman. They said that you would somewhere in between, able to have neither."

"What does that mean?" Audra asked as she attempted to dry her tears.

"It's hard to explain, but at some point you're going to grow up. You're going to notice the opposite sex, and you're going to like noticing them. The doctors figured that the only chance you had of being happy when that happened was if you had some way of acting on it."

Audra shook her head; it wasn't as obvious to her. At eleven years old, as Aaron, she had still seen girls as something to be avoided.

"I don't have a better answer," Ken admitted.

"Do you believe it?" Audra asked.

"I don't know. I really don't know."

"And me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Will it be the same?" Audra asked the question, seeking to see if her relationship with her brother was going to change.

"Hey, you're the same to me. The same spoiled kid who barges into my room without asking."

Audra laughed, for the first time in weeks.

It could be clay and it could be sand
Could be desert
Could be a tract of arable land
Could be a house, could be a corner shop
Could be a cabin by bend in the river
Could be something you old men handed down
Could be something you built in your own
Everybody got something he calls home

"Can I borrow this disc?" Audra asked, suddenly.

"Sure. Why?"

"It says something to me. It makes sense."

Wordlessly, Ken popped the disc out of the player and handed it to her. He regarded his sister with new eyes. "Something has changed beyond the obvious," he thought. "This isn't a kid speaking to me."

Chapter 9: Mike

The next morning, Audra rummaged around her closet looking for something that wasn't too feminine. It had been stressful, the night before and first thing this morning, and she couldn't really cope with the whole girl thing at this point. Finally, the best she could do was a pair of jean shorts and a white top. The shorts weren't too bad, if you discounted the flower embroidered on one of the back pockets, and they were loose enough not to cause her discomfort.

Audra contemplated her appearance in the mirror as she played the disc that she had borrowed from Ken the night before. A very strong part of her identified with the main character of the album, somebody lifted out of the life they had known and thrust into a totally new situation that they weren't prepared to cope with. Audra sighed. "I still look like a girl," she thought. "Bad enough that I always looked like one, now I have to be one too?"

A knock at the bedroom door, followed by Susie skipping in, caused Audra to turn from the mirror. "I didn't say come in!" Audra scolded.

Susie shrugged. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Figuring out how to not look so girl-like."

"Why?"

Audra rolled her eyes. "Susie, I don't want to be a girl. I never wanted to be a girl."

"What's so bad about being a girl?" Susie was confused with this. She enjoyed being a girl and couldn't see the issue.

"It's not being a boy, that's what's so bad about it."

"What's so special about being a boy?"

"Well, boys are stronger," Audra noted.

Susie raised her eyebrow at that. "Um..."

"Don't say it," Audra warned. "Boys can do more stuff and they don't have to worry about makeup and hairstyles. They can hang out, build forts, and just do what they want."

"You don't know a lot about girls, do you?"

"I know enough."

"Hardly! Girls can do that stuff too."

"I never see them do it," Audra asserted.

"That's because we don't want to do it. It doesn't mean we can't though," Susie insisted.

"That's the same thing."

"You can do anything you want Audra, being a girl doesn't stop you."

"You don't understand," Audra told her, getting frustrated.

"Neither do you. Mike called by the way, which is why I came up. He's on his way over."

Audra went from anger to panic. "Mike! I can't see Mike! Not like this."

"What's wrong with this?" Susie asked.

"Look at me! Didn't you hear anything I said?"

"Yeah, I did, but you have to get over it. You can't hide from your friends forever."

***

Mike Davidson hung up the phone after telling Susie that he was on his way over. His brain was still trying to wrap itself around the news that his parents had given him, that Aaron was now Audra and that he was a she. It just didn't register as something possible in the mind of an eleven year old.

"Mom, I'm off to Aaron's place," he called out.

"It's Audra, Mike. Audra." June Davidson had been trying to drill this into her son ever since Marianne had called her with the news. "You aren't going to be a lot of help to her if you forget," she told him.

"I'm trying mom, it's pretty hard." Mike hadn't really absorbed the information --- it seemed far to weird to him.

"I know, but try harder. Off you go." June swatted her son on the rear as he made his way out the door.

Mike grabbed his bike and pedaled over to Audra's place. Despite everything his mother had told him, he still couldn't picture Aaron as a girl. "Audra dummy!" He scolded himself. "Man this is going to be hard to get used to," Mike muttered under his breath.

Like he had hundreds of times before, Mike dropped his bike to the side of the long driveway and made his way up to the door. He hesitated in front of the door and took a deep breath before pressing the buzzer in the signal that he and Aaron had devised years ago. Not realizing that he was holding his breath, he started when the door opened.

"Mike..."

"Aar... Um... Hey Audra?" Mike attempted a smile to cover his stumble and his almost question. Before him was Aaron, but it also wasn't Aaron. It was subtle, but the person before him was a girl, at least she was dressed like one, mostly, and she did look like a younger version of Susie.

Audra sighed. "Hey Mike, come in," Audra invited as she opened the door and led the way to the kitchen. Audra climbed up on one of the stools at the breakfast nook, cupped her chin in her hands and regarded her best friend.

"How's the team doing?" she asked.

Mike wandered up to the nook counter. "Okay, I guess. We're winning most of the time."

"It's not catching you know."

"What?" Mike was startled by the sudden statement.

"Being a girl. You can't catch it from me." Audra gave him a hard stare. Mike had been, unconsciously, standing further away than usual.

"I... Uh... I... Oh man, I'm sorry! I was so worried about you. My mom told me... I guess I didn't really believe it." Mike felt tongue tied in this situation.

"Me neither."

"Huh?"

"I didn't believe it. I don't believe it." Audra felt tears forming behind her eyes and attempted to hold them back. Sitting here, with Mike, was becoming a huge strain. It felt so familiar and so different. Her mind flashed back to the song... kinda outta range.

Mike didn't know what to say. They sat across from each other, almost like two strangers meeting for the first time. He started to speak several times, but words failed him and he looked at Audra helplessly.

"Will it be the same?" Audra whispered at him.

"Yes. No. I don't know." Mike looked miserable; his heart was aching for his best friend. "We'll always be best friends. Boy, girl, it doesn't matter."

"I doesn't?" Audra looked at him with hope.

Mike shook his head. "It's different, though, but it doesn't matter. Different can be good."

Audra jumped up and hugged him. Mike could feel her tears dampening his shirt as he tried to figure out how to react.

After the two had parted, somewhat awkwardly, Mike regarded his friend. "Are you coming to the game tomorrow?" he asked.

"I can't play yet I don't think. I probably can't play for the rest of the summer because I'm still healing."

"So? You can watch and cheer us on."

"Yeah, maybe I will." Audra didn't seem all that eager to go, from what Mike could tell, but he didn't press.

***

Audra was still sorting out her feelings about the encounter with Mike long after he had left. They'd hung around most of the day, did the usual stuff, but it felt different. There was a strain, as if Mike was treating her with kid gloves and that she would break if he pressed too hard. "It's so awkward!" Audra muttered to herself. "Did I have to hug him?"

"How did it go with Mike today?" Marianne's question interrupted Audra's thoughts.

"What? Oh, okay I guess," Audra conceded.

"You guess?" Marianne raised an eyebrow.

"It was so strange. We sat there, just staring at each other half the time. Suddenly we don't know what to say."

"This is a big change Audra, it takes time for you and everyone else to get used to it."

"That's just it! I don't want to get used to it! I don't want to be a girl!" Audra shouted, hot tears of anger forming in her eyes. Audra was sick of being told it would take time, that it would work out, that it was for the best. Marianne pulled Audra into a strong hug and allowed her cry out her frustration and anger.

"Mike treats me like I'm going to break. Like becoming a girl has made me fragile," Audra sobbed into her mother's breast. Marianne stroked her hair and just rocked her through it.

"You know kiddo," Marianne said when Audra had cried herself out. "You'll just have to prove you aren't so fragile. That being a girl doesn't mean that you can't do all the things that you did before."

"How?"

"By doing them."

"I can't! Not yet anyways," Audra protested.

"Says who? You have to be a little more careful, since you could re-injure yourself a bit more easily, but the stitches are out and you just need the protection that you already have."

"A cup?" Audra looked surprised.

"A cup," Marianne affirmed. "Girls need them too!"

"So I can play ball again?"

Marianne nodded.

Audra felt a wave of relief roll through her at those words. She had, naturally, assumed that she couldn't play. Knowing that she could play provided her with a connection to a life that she had been quickly losing touch with.

Chapter 10: Take Me Out to the Ball Game...

Audra happily donned her baseball uniform Sunday morning. Even the hated stents couldn't get her down today because today she could pretend that nothing was different, that Aaron was still here. So it was a smiling version of Audra that made her way through breakfast that morning and took the usual pills that her mother provided without complaint. Even Susie deciding to tag along didn't bother her that much.

"I'm sorry we can't come along Audra, to watch your first game back, but I promised your grandmother that we would help her with some house repairs today," James told his new daughter as she rounded up her baseball stuff.

"Its okay dad, say 'hi' to grandma and grandpa for me," Audra made him promised.

"I will. Good luck slugger!"

Audra would have preferred her parents to be there, but she understood given the last minute decision that she had made that they already had promises to keep. Still, having Susie along made her feel a little safer and a little more secure. "Ken would be better," She mused to herself. "But he's already gone out."

Audra and Susie grabbed their bikes and made their way to the ballpark. As they passed the spot where Audra had been kidnapped, she felt a real twinge of fear, as if she feared that the kidnappers would jump out and grab her again. "You're being silly," Audra scolded herself. "What could they do now? Kill you? Would that be so bad?" Audra shook her head as they rode, trying to dispel that notion.

Audra stopped at the entrance of the park, causing Susie to go past her. Susie also stopped and looked back at her quizzically. "Why did you stop?" Susie asked.

Audra took a deep breath and shook her head without answering. As she started pedaling, her mind was trying to calm down. "They don't know," She told herself. "Just pretend that nothing is different." Audra chained up her bike.

"Hey! Ready for the big game?" Mike shouted.

"Born ready!" Audra replied, automatically. Actually grinning, Audra felt herself become less tense with the familiar ritual that she and Mike shared. She made her way down to the dugout as Susie headed towards the stands. Audra was grateful for the thumbs up encouragement from Susie; it made her feel less alone.

Mike intercepted her halfway. "You're in uniform," he observed.

"Yeah, my mom says I can play as long as I'm a little more careful."

"Cool! Though I think Coach Clarke has the lineup set."

"No prob. I figured I'd have to work my way back in," Audra admitted as they entered the dugout. Coach Clarke was giving some last minute positioning instruction to the other players as they entered.

"Aaron! I didn't know you were out of the hospital," Coach Clarke commented as he saw Audra.

Audra elbowed Mike before he could correct the name. "I've been out for a couple of days Coach and my mom says I'm healthy enough to play," she informed him.

Coach Clarke smiled. "Well, that's good," He told her. "We'll get you into today, but no promises on when. I think you'll need a few practices under your belt before you're back into the swing of things."

Audra nodded and took a seat on the bench. Audra's team was the 'visiting' team today, so they batted first. Aaron, before the kidnapping, batted third in the rotation because he had a good eye and good speed. The Coach had moved Mike into that position and Steve Avery, who had taken over Aaron's position at third, was batting eighth. Audra liked Steve and he was an okay player, but not really all that good at the plate because he swung at almost anything.

***

The game was very close. Audra had been helping around the dugout and cheering on her team, but entering the sixth, and final, inning they were down by a run. The first three batters up managed to get on base courtesy of a couple of walks and single. Steve, who hadn't been having a good day at the plate, went on deck as the next batter got set for the pitch. At this point, Coach Clarke decided it was a good time to switch Audra in for Steve, figuring that it was worth a shot and he had to get her in anyways. Audra was pretty good at the mid-range hits that created a lot of singles and doubles. No power for the long ball, but a run was all they needed to tie this up.

Audra was nervous as she took her practice swings in the circle. The batter finally popped up to shallow left field, too shallow for the runner at third to make it home and her team now had one out. Taking a few deep breaths, Audra made her way to the plate. Audra swung at the first pitch and knew immediately that her timing was off when she missed it. She ignored the second pitch, trying to get a read on the pitcher, but it was called a strike. Feeling her palms getting sweaty, she readied herself for the next pitch.

Audra saw the ball coming in and aimed her swing. She could feel the satisfying crack of the ball against the bat and saw it head towards second base. Flinging the bat, she took off for first base as fast as she could. About halfway to the base, she felt a twinge in her groin and stumbled slightly. The second baseman managed to tag out the runner from first and had thrown the ball to the first baseman. The twinge, though, cost Audra that necessary step and she was called out at the base.

It was a dejected Audra that made her way back to the dugout. Her twinge had prevented her from making first base before the throw and they would have tied the game with only two out and a man on third. Coach Clarke clapped her on the shoulder.

"Don't feel too bad Aaron," he told her. "You're timing is a little off, but you'll get it back."

Audra smiled at him gratefully as she sat down on the bench.

"Alright kids, practice next Saturday night is at 7:30 pm, so don't be late or you get extra laps. Today was a good effort, it was close and we're still in good shape for the championship run." Coach Clarke patted a few more dejected shoulders on the way out.

"Way to screw it up Wilson," Bobby Grant sneered after the coach had left.

"Yeah," David Ames chimed in. Bobby Grant was the local bully and had a habit of choosing Aaron, and now Audra, as one of his targets. David was one of his crew of boys that followed him around for the dubious 'prestige' of it.

"Shut up Clarke," Mike advised. Mike was one of the few guys that wasn't afraid of Bobby, being about the same size and holding roughly even odds of winning a fight between the two.

"You shut up. Wilson blew it for us, stumbling like an idiot," Bobby asserted.

"It wasn't her fault," Mike protested. "She just got out of the hospital."

"She?" Bobby's eyes goggled. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Audra groaned and buried her face in her hands. Despite the fact that she knew that this was going to eventually come out, she still dreaded it.

"Umm..." Mike hesitated. "Nothing, just go away."

However, this wasn't going to happen. Not only was Bobby suddenly interested, but so was the rest of the team. "I don't think so, tell us what is going on," Bobby demanded to a chorus of agreement around him.

Audra shrank into the corner of the dugout and hugged her knees as Mike looked at her for guidance. She shook her head, but Mike was trapped. Mike sighed, seeing no way out. "Aaron got hurt, real bad. They had to make him into a girl. Aaron is now Audra," Mike admitted to them as Audra began to cry softly in the corner.

As a couple of the boys unconsciously crossed their legs and looked around, Bobby Grant started laughing. "That's hilarious! The boy that looks like a girl is now a girl!" Bobby mocked. "What a freak, you probably always wanted to be a girl."

Audra was shaking her head in furious denial as Susie burst into the dugout. "What are you doing to my sister?" She shouted as she saw Audra's tears.

The question only made Bobby laugh harder. "Your sister? Oh man, this is so funny!"

Susie propped her hands on her hips and stood in front of Bobby. "You think it's funny? You're an asshole Bobby Grant and always will be. That's why nobody likes you."

"Oh yeah? Well, I tell you what, why don't you and that crying freak in the corner take off before I beat the piss out of it!?!" Bobby snarled.

"You're a jerk," Mike said as he pushed Bobby backwards.

"You want to make something of it Davidson?" Bobby demanded. The rest of the team looked on in amazement at the scene developing in front of them, but none of them dared to interfere.

"Yeah, I do."

Within seconds, both boys were rolling on the ground trading punches. Neither saw Coach Clarke re-enter the dugout looking for his clipboard. As soon as he saw the fight, he jumped in and separated the two boys. "What's going on here?" he demanded.

"Bobby started it," Mike asserted.

"Did not!"

"He did, he was picking on Audra here because of the double play and her injuries," Mike insisted.

Coach Clarke looked confused. "Audra? Who's Audra?"

Before Mike could answer, Susie interjected, "Audra was Aaron. Call my mom on her cell, she'll explain."

Coach Clarke took out his cell phone as he commented, "I hope somebody can."

He dialed Marianne's cell phone with Susie's instructions. "Hi. Marianne? Daniel Clarke here. Sorry to bother you, but I have a situation at the ballpark and it's a little confusing. Is it possible for you to tell me about Aaron?"

The kids on the team watched as Coach Clarke went very pale over what he was hearing on the phone. "I see," he said. "Thanks Marianne, I know that it's hard to talk about. Give my regards to Jimmy."

Coach Clarke pressed 'end' on the cell phone and turned to regard the two combatants. "I want the truth here," he instructed.

Jason Stewart, the team captain, stepped forward. "I'll tell you what happened," he said.

"Go ahead."

"Bobby blamed Aaron, umm... Audra, for us losing. Mike stepped in and told him to leave her alone. Mike explained what happened, sort of, and Bobby started laughing about it. When Mike challenged him, the fight started."

Coach Clarke looked at Mike and Bobby. "Is this true?" he asked. Both nodded, though Bobby did so reluctantly.

Audra stepped up beside Jason and whispered, "Thank you."

Jason smiled and nodded.

Coach Clarke looked very serious as he addressed the team. "One of the great things about baseball, or any other team sport, is the team. Teammates are supposed to help each other, be there for each other, and work together. We win or lose as a team, not as individuals. No single individual is responsible for a win or loss. Do you understand me?"

The team nodded and murmured "yes" to the question.

"Today, a teammate returned to us after being very seriously hurt. This teammate faced a serious and life-changing experience. This teammate needs us more than ever and should have the right to expect that without question. I'm greatly disappointed in this group because you failed to do this." Coach Clarke placed his hand on Audra's shoulder as he continued, "I expect that, in the future, you will show the proper support for Audra and any other teammate that needs it. If you do not, I will not hesitate to remove any one of you from this team. Am I clear?"

The nods were subdued.

"Good."

Chapter 11: The Secret of Success

"Get in here boy!" Robert Grant shouted as he heard his son come through the front door. Robert Grant was one of those classic 'chew them up and spit them out' businessmen with a firm belief that men should be running the world and women should be in the kitchen. Robert also believed that it was his duty to raise his son to be a real man: tough, strong, and not afraid to step on a few people to get to the top. That was the way Robert Grant saw it anyways and he wasn't reluctant to use his belt to ensure that it happened.

"Yes sir?" Bobby asked as he poked his head into his father's home office. Bobby really hated it when his father was at home because it meant more 'lessons' on being a man than he really wanted to hear. Fortunately for Bobby, his workaholic father was often at the office, even on weekends, than at home. Unfortunately though, today wasn't one of those days.

"I heard you got in a fight," Robert stated.

"Yes sir."

"Did you win?"

"It didn't get that far, the coach showed up just as it started." Bobby was a little nervous; his father didn't like seeing him lose fights. He called it a sign of weakness.

Robert mulled that over for a second. "You'll finish it," he instructed.

"Finish it?"

"Yes, damn it, finish it. One thing you have to learn is that you can never let somebody think that they got the best of you. If you leave this unfinished, then they'll think they won. Grants do not lose!"

"Yes sir." Bobby heaved a mental sigh. He just wanted this discussion over with.

"The secret of success is not to leave things unfinished and to make sure you don't give your opponent any opening. What was the fight about?"

"One of our players screwed up and cost us the game."

"Was that who you fought?" Robert asked.

Bobby shook his head. "Mike Davidson," Bobby admitted.

"Davidson? Why were you fighting him?"

"Mike stood up for her," Bobby explained.

"Her? Since when did a girl join the team?"

Bobby was regretting the slip of the tongue that made him say 'her' in explanation. "It's hard to explain sir."

"Explain it!" Robert instructed as he mused that girls were showing up trying to get their noses into everything men did.

"Um... you remember Aaron Wilson?"

Robert nodded, "Is his sister playing?"

"Not exactly sir, Aaron is the girl."

"What the hell are you talking about boy?" Robert looked confused.

Bobby explained the basics of what he learned and concluded with, "I think they called her Aura or Audra. Something like that."

"And the coach let this... this... person play?"

Bobby nodded.

"And it cost you the game?"

Bobby nodded again.

Robert leaned back in his chair as Bobby shuffled his feet. "I don't like doctors playing with nature and creating freaks," Robert pronounced. For some reason, he felt profoundly disturbed by the situation. "You had better stay away from it, do you hear me?"

"Yes sir," Bobby replied.

"I don't want a relapse in you. I'll make you into a man, come hell or high water, and I don't want some freak putting bizarre notions in your head."

Bobby stayed mute.

"If I catch you hanging out with it, I'll tear your hide off. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Get out. I have some work to do."

Bobby turned and left without a word.

***

Bobby sat cross-legged on Amy's bed. "Well, I got another lecture on being a man," he commented.

Amy looked at her brother with some sympathy. Being a girl, she was spared much of the harsher aspect of her father. "Come to think of it," Amy thought. "I get nothing from him at all."

"About what?" Amy asked.

"Mike Davidson and I got in a fight today."

"Oh yeah? About what?"

Bobby paused for a second. "Do you know Aaron Wilson?" He asked.

Amy nodded as she hung around with Susie Wilson a fair bit. "Aaron's okay, for a boy, and doesn't pester us much," she noted.

Bobby snorted before continuing. "Well, you might see more of him, or her I guess," he commented.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I guess something happened to him and he got turned into a girl."

"What?!?" Amy looked shocked.

"Yep. Kind of funny actually."

Amy stared hard at her brother. "I don't think you're one to laugh," she told him.

Bobby paled slightly and then his face hardened. "That's over with."

Amy snorted in turn. "What's that got to do with fighting Mike?" she asked.

"Aaron or, I guess Audra as they call it now, screwed up in the sixth and I just made some comments. Davidson kind of flipped."

Amy gave him another hard stare. "You're turning into him," she said.

"Give it a rest Amy, what's the big deal?"

Amy just shook her head as she recalled a very different brother before her father got his hooks into him.

"If I'm going to be successful, I can't be afraid to tell people what I think."

"I don't think I'll like you very much when that happens," Amy suggested.

"Yeah? Well, I'll get over it!" Bobby stomped out of the room.

Amy watched her brother leave with a sad expression. For a thirteen year old girl, she was pretty world-wise. Growing up in a household where her father treated women like second-class citizens and showed her comparable affection had given Amy a perspective on life that focused on the self-reliant. She really didn't like what she was seeing her brother turn into. "It wasn't all that long ago that Bobby would have reacted completely different," she mused to herself.

Chapter 12: Pushing the Girl

The best Audra could describe her mood in the morning was foul. Yesterday had not gone as she had planned, her secret had gotten out in circumstances that she would have rather had avoided and it was apparent to her that Bobby Grant was only going to be worse than before.

Audra grimaced as she tugged the strap of her shirt. The best she could do today was a pale green short and shirt set, and it was still far too feminine for her tastes. Regardless, it avoided the need to open that closet again, and for that Audra was grateful. Barefoot, she made her way down to the backyard swimming pool and plopped herself down at the edge, dangling her feet in the cool water.

Susie wandered out and found Audra idly kicking the water's surface. "Hey, what's up?" she asked as she sat down cross-legged on the deck.

"Nothing," Audra replied shortly.

"Do you want to do anything today?" Susie asked, ignoring the terseness of the response.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Maybe hang out at the mall?"

Audra rolled her eyes. "Why would I want to do that?" Audra demanded.

"It's something to do."

Audra shrugged, "With whom?"

"I figured I'd call Dana, Julie, and Amy and we'd badger Ken into taking us."

"Why?" Audra asked again.

"You need to learn about being a girl," Susie admitted her motivation as Audra's face darkened. "Hey, like it or not, you're one of us now," Susie said, cutting Audra off before she could explode. "If you don't want to look weird, you have to learn."

Audra drew her legs up out of the water and hugged her knees. "I don't want to learn, I just want to be a boy again."

"Well, it ain't going to happen, so you might as well learn."

Audra felt tears trickling down her cheeks as she turned away from Susie. "Just leave me alone," she instructed. She heard the barely audible sigh of frustration from Susie.

"Look Audra, if you fight it, you're only going to be unhappy," Susie insisted as she stared at her sister's back.

"You don't get it, just being this way is making me unhappy."

"That's because you don't understand the good side of it."

"Like what?" Audra demanded, still faced the other way.

"You have to learn it."

Audra shrugged as Susie threw her hands into the air. Susie stood up and surveyed her new sister and made a decision. "We're going out," she stated.

"No."

"We'll see," Susie threatened as she made her way back into the house.

***

Susie had just hung up from her last phone call when her mother entered the kitchen. "Just what are you planning young lady?" Marianne asked.

"I'm trying to get Audra to go to the mall," Susie explained.

"I see. Why?"

"All she talks about is how bad it is to be a girl and she refuses to learn any of the good stuff."

"How does Audra feel about it?"

"She doesn't want to go," Susie admitted.

"I think it's a very good idea," Marianne mused aloud. Spying Audra on the pool deck, she made a decision and walked out to see her.

"Audra?"

"Yes?" Audra didn't turn around.

"Look at me sweetie," Marianne instructed and Audra turned to face her. "I think you need to get out a bit and learn a few things about yourself."

"I don't want to go to the mall with a bunch of girls."

"Why not?"

"It's boring!"

"I'll make you a deal," Marianne suggested.

"A deal?" Audra was a bit more curious.

"If you go out with the girls for three hours and can genuinely tell me that you didn't have any fun at all with them afterwards, I'll buy you five video games of your choice. Do we have a deal?" Marianne wasn't keen on bribing Audra, but she felt it necessary to motivate the child to action. The only time she hadn't moped around the house was at the baseball game and that was a disaster thanks to Bobby Grant.

Audra nodded a yes to the question and Marianne smiled at her in encouragement.

***

Audra was silent during the ride to the mall as the four girls chatted around her and Ken in the back seats of the minivan. Every now and then, Ken glanced over at Audra in the front passenger seat and managed a small smile of sympathy.

The three girls had already heard the basics of Audra's situation. Amy had heard it from Bobby, and Dana and Julie, the Clarke twins, had heard from their father who coached Audra's baseball team. Marianne had filled them in with a few more details before they had left and so the girls were now anxious to impart their accumulated years of feminine wisdom. Plans were being drawn up even as Audra stared glumly out the window of the van.

Ken dropped the girls off at the entrance to the mall with instructions to meet him at the entrance in three hours. For himself, he was going shopping for music and books, and then would probably hit the video arcade.

Audra reluctantly followed the girls inside as they made a beeline for the nearest teenager clothing store. She stood there and watched the four begin their pawing of the racks in a quest for who-knew-what. Audra rolled her eyes and made her way over to a chair near the change rooms like she had a hundred times before and sat down to wait. "Yep, boring," she said to herself.

It was Dana that first noticed that Audra hadn't joined them at the racks and so she began scanning the store. Spotting Audra by the change rooms, she tucked the two pairs of jeans over her arm and marched over. "Why are you sitting down?" Dana asked.

"I'm bored. I hate shopping," Audra explained.

"You haven't even tried," Dana accused.

Audra shrugged, "I don't know anything about girl's clothes." Audra's tone suggested that she didn't really want to either.

"Lighten up Audra, we'll help you."

Audra shrugged again.

"I know about your deal with your mom. If you don't try, you won't have any fun, and I'll tell her you didn't try. You won't get any video games that way."

Audra sighed. "Alright," she conceded. Audra knew that Dana wasn't kidding; the four girls would tell her mom that she hadn't tried and that would cost her the video games. Reluctantly, Audra got up and joined the girls at the racks and began moving the clothes around without any idea of what to look for.

The girls could see that Audra was struggling to look interested and find things, but that she wasn't having much luck at it. So the girls switched from looking for things for them to looking for things for Audra and within minutes had an armload of various clothing items for her to try on. They then herded Audra back to the change room for a try-on session.

The first couple of items weren't a big deal, just jeans and various tops. Audra found herself beginning to relax a little, this wasn't so bad. It wasn't until Susie handed her a skirt that Audra balked.

"No," Audra said firmly.

"Why not? It's just a skirt," Susie cajoled.

"No."

"Please? Pretty please? With sugar on top?" The other girls joined in to wear down the resistance.

"No."

Susie stamped her foot. "Look, it's just a simple skirt! It's not a big deal. They're comfy and if you would just try it, you'll find out that it's not that bad."

"You don't understand," Audra accused.

"No, I don't. Just try it. You don't have to buy it, but just try it on. I promise that we won't make you try on anything else you don't want to."

Reluctantly, Audra took the skirt from Susie's hand and went back into the stall. She shrugged off the jeans she had tried on and dropped them on the bench. Her hand trembled as she reached for the skirt and she dropped her arm back down beside her. "I can't!" Audra's mind shouted at her. "It's not right." Audra stared at the skirt feeling shaky, her mind seeing it as surrender to girlhood.

"Audra? You okay?" Susie knocked on the door.

Audra took a deep breath. "Yeah," she said.

"What's taking so long?"

"Nothing," Audra said as she worked to convince herself that she was just being silly. She could sense the impatience of the four girls from the other side of the door as she took down the skirt. Her hand shook badly and she dropped it. "Get a grip on yourself," she muttered.

Taking a couple more deep breaths, Audra calmed herself and put the skirt on. She had seen her mother and Susie wear skirts often enough to know that the zipper went to the back. Audra turned to the door and faced the mirror on its back. Her eyes took in the appearance of the young girl standing in a short skirt and she required a few more deep breaths to steady herself. Finally, she opened the door.

"Satisfied?" Audra asked as she did a turn at Susie's instruction.

"That looks good on you," Amy commented to nods.

Audra grimaced.

"Is it that uncomfortable?" Susie asked.

Audra thought about that for a second. Privately, she had to admit that it was physically comfortable, mentally was a different story. Audra shrugged, "I feel half naked."

"You just have to get used to it," Julie suggested.

"Maybe," Audra conceded as she went back inside the booth to change into her street clothes.

Chapter 13: Food (Court) Fight

The five made their way down to the food court for a quick Coke before heading back into the mall melee. Audra privately admitted to herself that, so far, it hadn't been that bad even with the skirt. As they sat down with their drinks, Audra slipped into mental daydreaming as the others began to plot their next target store. She mentally groaned as she heard shoes, but suppressed the vocalization of it. "Only a couple of more hours," Audra told herself. "You can survive it."

Audra felt the bump against her back, but ignored it. However, the second elbow to her back caused her to whirl around in her seat and come face to face with Bobby.

Bobby gave her a malicious grin. "Hey freak," he sneered as his group of cronies snickered behind him.

"Go away," Audra instructed followed with a chorus from the other girls at the table.

"Make me," Bobby taunted, giving her a small shove to the shoulder.

With the shove, both Susie and Amy stood up to confront him. "What is your problem?" Amy demanded.

"Shut up Amy, this freak cost us the game yesterday."

"She's not a freak!" Susie shouted, coming nose to nose with Bobby.

Bobby shoved her back. "They cut off its dick and made it a girl. That's a freak in my book," Bobby said.

Audra snapped. The days and weeks of denial, pressure, and fear came boiling out of her and she leapt at Bobby swinging. Her attack caught Bobby by surprise and she managed a couple of decent punches before Bobby's superior size and strength allowed him to flip her over and pin her arms against the ground.

Amy caught her brother's raised fist and whispered in his ear, "If you swing, your secret comes out."

Bobby paled at his sister's words. "You wouldn't," he insisted without much conviction.

"Try me."

Bobby hesitated a few more seconds before lowering his fist and standing up. "Next time, freak, you won't get off so... urk!" Bobby felt himself being lifted by his collar and swung around, coming face to face with Ken.

"Freak?" Ken menaced.

"Um..." Bobby was looking pale again. Not only was Ken six years older, but he was one of those guys who was so solidly built that you just avoided causing trouble with them. Ken was an unexpected development in a situation that had gone from bad to worse in Bobby's perspective.

"Let me tell you something little boy, the next time I catch you picking on either of my sisters, I'll make you envy a pretzel. Am I clear?" Ken demanded.

Bobby nodded, his eyes wide.

Ken let him go and watched as he and his friends took off from the food court. Ken then turned to see Susie and Amy holding a very shaken looking Audra who had tears running down her face. "You okay?" he asked.

Audra hiccupped and nodded, trying to wipe away the tears. "I lost it," she whispered.

Ken nodded. "Sit down and gather yourself," he instructed with a sympathetic smile as he joined the girls at the table.

Audra took some more sips from her drink and composed herself. Finally, when she felt her emotions were more under control, she gave everyone a weak smile. "I'm sorry," she apologized.

"What for?" Julie demanded.

"For losing it," Audra admitted.

Dana and Amy snorted at the same time. "I don't blame you," Dana commented.

Amy started giggling.

"What?" everyone asked at the same time.

"Bobby is going to have a wicked shiner," Amy told them laughing. "Audra got a really good one in on the first swing." Amy's laughter got everyone else going and the crisis passed.

"Why's he like that Amy?" Susie finally asked as the laughter died down.

Amy sighed. "It's my father," she explained. Looking around at the uncomprehending expressions, she elaborated. "My father thinks that guys should be strong, not afraid to fight, that stepping on others is the right way to get ahead. Bobby didn't used to be like this."

Audra nodded, she remembered a Bobby who was much more fun to be around.

"My father thought that Bobby was being a wimp. He'd beat Bobby whenever he thought that Bobby had failed to act like a man and Bobby started behaving more like him to avoid trouble."

"What about you?" Susie asked.

Amy paused. More than anything, she wanted to have the love and approval of her father. She was a girl, however, and Robert Grant saw little value in girls. "I don't think he knows I exist," Amy admitted as the tears began to trickle from her eyes.

Audra, who was sitting beside Amy, suddenly gave her a hug. Amy's revelation was a bit of an eye opener for Audra, that as bad as her situation was, other people might have it just as bad in a different way. "At least," Audra thought. "My family all love me."

Amy brushed away the tears. "It's no big deal," she proclaimed with a half-hearted smile. "I'm used to it." She gave Audra a return squeeze in thanks.

None of the others really believed it, but they let it drop for Amy's sake.

Chapter 14: Girls' Club

Ken had wandered off and the five decided that they needed to keep going to dispel the incident in the food court. After wandering in and out of a variety of different stores, Dana discovered a collection of t-shirts that she suddenly wanted everyone to have.

"Hey! Check this out," Dana instructed as everyone turned to look. Dana held up a pink and white t-shirt with pink lettering that spelled 'Girls' Club' on it. "Isn't this cool?" she asked.

As everyone shrugged, Dana looked a little crestfallen. "No look, we can form a club and have a club t-shirt. We can even get our names on the back."

"A club?" Susie asked.

"Yeah, it'll be great. Just us."

Audra had hung back figuring that the four friends wouldn't be looking at her to join. "After all," Audra thought. "I'm not really a girl and I'm a couple of years younger." Despite that, Audra was rather surprised to discover that she actually wanted to be a part of it. Something happened in the food court, with the fight and Amy's story, had made Audra feel closer to the four girls than she had previously.

The three other older girls allowed their imagination to catch and began looking for t-shirts that would fit them. They were practically a club now; this would be a cool formalization of it.

Amy noticed Audra wasn't grabbing a t-shirt. "Why haven't you got a shirt yet?" she demanded.

"Uh, well, I didn't think you would want me in the club," Audra admitted.

"Why not?" Julie asked before anyone else could.

"Well, I'm not really a girl..." Audra suggested.

"Nice try," Julie waved the excuse away with a toss of her head.

"I'm younger..." In spite of herself, Audra was actually hoping that they would wave this away too. Audra really needed to feel like she belonged to something; the events of yesterday left her feeling on the edge of her baseball team, not really in it anymore.

"Who cares?" Julie asked.

Audra gave a tentative smile and picked a t-shirt out without trying to look too enthusiastic about it. She held it up in front of her. "I don't know," Audra commented. "I think it clashes with my shorts."

All four girls gaped at her for a second before Amy collapsed into peals of laughter on the floor.

***

By mutual agreement, all five of them had changed into their shirts after they had gotten their names done on the back. In spite of herself, Audra was actually enjoying the trip to the mall; the effort that all the girls had made in making her feel welcome really touched something inside her. For a while, Audra could actually forget worrying about boys or girls and just relax in being part of a group.

Audra's reverie was interrupted by Amy quietly singing...

One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?

Everyone looked at Amy and Audra felt a sudden rush of fear that her new-found sense of friendship was coming out from under her with a Sesame Street song.

Amy grinned at them. "Look at everyone's ears," she instructed.

Everyone followed instructions. "I don't get it," Dana admitted.

"What's in your ears?" Amy asked.

"Earrings," Dana replied.

"And Julie's? Susie's? Mine?"

"Earrings," Dana replied, still not getting it.

"Audra?"

"Um... nothing."

"Bingo!" Amy crowed.

"So?" Chorused the remainder of the group.

"Audra needs her ears pierced," Amy patiently explained.

"Why?" Audra asked, not especially interested in the idea.

"It looks nice," Amy pointed out.

Audra shrugged.

Susie liked the idea and decided to throw in her two cents. "It's no big deal Audra, it just takes a minute and we'll get plain studs. Lots of people are doing it, boys and girls."

"I just don't see the point," Audra admitted. She was reluctant to refuse outright and jeopardize the camaraderie that had developed. She also admitted to herself that she knew a few boys who had pierced ears, though most only had one ear pierced.

"There is no point, it just looks cool," Susie wheedled.

"I don't know..."

"Come on, it's not that bad. If you don't like them, you can take them out in a few weeks and the holes will heal over."

Audra shrugged, she just couldn't think of a reasonable objection even if she didn't see the point in having them.

***

Audra was surprised that the piercing actually didn't hurt that badly. It looked like it would hurt, what with the spring loaded gun and all, but it was so fast that she didn't even have time to say ouch. Seeing herself in the mirror, Audra had to admit that the gold studs actually did look pretty good. The only thing that bothered her was that they made her look even more like a girl. "Not much you can say about that," Audra admitted to herself. "What with sitting here with pierced ears and a pink t-shirt that says 'Girls' Club' on it." Audra pushed her thoughts away.

"Okay, you have to keep the studs in for six weeks before you can change earrings," the saleslady instructed. "Also, make sure that you keep turning them so that a nice, round, hole develops."

Audra nodded.

"Now, you also need to clean your earlobes with alcohol a few times a day to avoid infection. Don't worry if it happens, it's common, but just keep treating it and it will heal up. Many people get an infection on the side they sleep on."

Audra thanked the lady as the girls left the store.

"Now, we're complete," Amy commented as they finally made their way to the entrance to meet Ken.

***

Audra sat in bed thinking about the events of the day. She'd admitted to her mother that she had enjoyed the trip to the mall, which surprised both of them. "It wasn't the shopping," Audra mused, "It was just the feeling of being a part of something." She didn't even regret losing the wager on the video games.

Audra turned the studs in her ears. More than anything, the appearance of pierced ears had surprised her family. Audra still wasn't all that sure why she had gotten it done, but she actually kind of liked them. "It's not like they make me a girl, lots of guys have pierced ears," Audra told herself.

***

"Do you think it's significant?" James asked Marianne as they snuggled on the couch.

"The shirt and the earrings?"

James nodded. "They seem significant. I mean, it strikes me that Audra would have put up a lot of resistance to them."

Marianne thought about it. "It might have been peer pressure," she suggested.

"Hmmm.... I suppose so," James agreed. "Does Audra see Sheila tomorrow?"

"Yes, in the morning."

Chapter 15: One Step Forward

It was a reluctant Audra that entered Sheila's office the next morning. She had a feeling that Sheila was already aware of yesterday's excursion and what transpired, but she hadn't had a chance to work out how she felt about it yet.

"Good morning Audra!" Sheila said as Audra entered.

"Hi Sheila," Audra smiled. She actually liked Sheila, they had had many chats over the course of Audra's stay in the hospital and they had helped a great deal.

As Audra made herself comfortable, Sheila asked her, "Anything interesting happen lately?"

Audra shrugged, "Nothing special."

"I noticed that your ears are pierced. That seems interesting."

Unconsciously, Audra rotated the studs in her ears. "It's no big deal, lots of guys and girls have pierced ears," Audra told her.

To Sheila, it was pretty obvious that Audra was rationalizing a typically feminine activity like ear piercing. "That's true, I suppose. Why did you get them done?"

"Well, they look kind of cool and I can always take them out if I don't like them."

"They look very nice on you," Sheila complimented. "Did you get them done yourself?"

"The girls talked me into it," Audra admitted, wishing that Sheila would drop the subject.

"The girls?"

"Susie and her friends. We went shopping yesterday," Audra confessed. "Now why did I tell her that?" Audra asked herself.

"How did that go?" Sheila prodded.

"Okay, I guess, except for Bobby."

"Bobby?"

Audra nodded, "He's always picked on me, because I'm smaller, but now he's calling me a freak. I'm not a freak! Am I?"

"No Audra, you're not a freak. Don't ever believe that, for a second." Sheila held her in a tight hug.

Audra looked unsure.

"I'm serious Audra. You've had a lot of misfortune, but you're a wonderful person who is fighting a very difficult battle. Don't let others bring you down."

Audra nodded, feeling a little better. Sheila released her from the hug.

"What happened with Bobby?"

Audra explained the incident in the mall.

"Did you feel better after?"

"A little," Audra admitted. "Though I felt a little ashamed afterwards, for losing it."

"Did you buy anything else yesterday?" Sheila found the admission of being ashamed interesting, but decided to let it pass for now.

"Just a shirt... everyone bought one." Audra started to squirm a little on the couch; she knew where Sheila was going with this one.

"A special shirt then?"

Audra nodded. "It's our club shirt."

"You have a club? Who's in it?"

"Me and the girls from yesterday," Audra told her reluctantly.

Sheila paused and regarded Audra. It was pretty obvious that Audra was uncomfortable with this line of questioning, but having heard about the shirt from Marianne, Sheila wanted to find out why Audra would have bought it. "So, it's a girl's club?" Sheila asked.

"Not really," Audra protested.

"What does the shirt say on it?"

Audra dug her toe into the couch, becoming more reluctant to admit to the t-shirt's lettering.

"Audra, I'm not judging you here, you don't have to be embarrassed to tell me," Sheila coached.

"It says 'Girls' Club' on it," Audra blurted in a rush.

"Why did you join?"

"They asked me to."

"Did you want to?" Sheila asked.

Audra nodded and looked embarrassed.

"Why?"

Audra hesitated, she still wasn't sure herself. "They were treating me so nice, it just felt good."

"Nice? As in not different or strange?" Sheila had a very strong idea of why Audra had jumped at the club.

Audra nodded again.

"You've felt out of place recently?"

"Yeah, my friends are treating me different, like I'm going to break."

"You didn't feel out of place with the girls?"

Audra sat back, surprised. "Did I?" Audra asked herself. "They just treated me like one of them, like nothing was different," She admitted internally, "It still felt odd, but a different kind of odd."

Sheila watched Audra struggle with the question. "You don't have to answer Audra. I think it's a question that you really need to think about, but take your time over the next few days and really think about it."

***

"I'm very pleased," Sheila admitted to Marianne after the session with Audra.

"Is she getting better?"

"Don't read too much into the events of yesterday. Audra has been feeling very disconnected from those around her, especially with her friends. Yesterday was the first time anybody really just treated her as one of the group and she grasped at that. It could have just as easily been a group of boys as girls."

"So, it's not progress?" Marianne asked, concerned.

"It's a step forward," Sheila explained. "A minor step, but a positive one. She's teetering between two worlds and it's good that the first world to extend acceptance was a female one. It would be wonderful if this continued, she'll begin to identify with the group that offers her the most acceptance."

"Should we take her out of baseball?"

"No, that would be a mistake. As much as I hate to see her tormented by bullies on her team, that too helps us and her."

"How?" Marianne was unsure of this as she hated to see Audra being hurt.

"If the boy's world pushes her away and the girl's world brings her in, her self-identity will be reinforced even more."

"I suppose so," Marianne reluctantly conceded, though it seemed very harsh and cavalier to her.

Chapter 16: Paths Entwining

Bobby Grant's hand shook as he opened the laundry hamper in the bathroom he shared with his sister. It had been a long time since he had done this; his father's belt had taught him that it was an unacceptable activity and punishment was the sole result. He was still very sore from the beating he had received last night for 'losing' a fight and getting a black eye. Never mind that he never had a chance to get his own swings in, his father believed that getting caught by surprise was the same as losing. Bobby had a shiner to show that he had, indeed, been caught by surprise. It was even worse than usual because Bobby had lost to a 'thing' as his father put it.

Bobby opened and closed the hamper several times, trying to push away the need and desire that he was feeling. The pressures that his father kept heaping on him were getting to be far too much, he felt stretched out and stressed. He needed some escape.

Almost in a trance, Bobby pulled several articles of clothing from the hamper and carried them into his room. Nobody was home right now, his father was at work, his mother was shopping, and Amy had gone out. "Now was the perfect time," Bobby thought, trying to encourage himself.

Quickly, Bobby donned Amy's clothing from yesterday, including the t-shirt that she had just bought. Some rolled up socks and his mother's old wig later, Bobby allowed himself to see the result in the mirror. Bobby was not a passable girl as he was far too boyish looking, even at eleven years old. Still, his eyes refocused themselves and allowed his imagination to see a real girl in the mirror.

Bobby tried several poses and lost himself in his imagination. He felt the stress of the last couple of days drain from his body. By becoming a girl, he could be free of all of the pressures of manhood that his father thrust upon him, even if it was for a short while.

It was the sudden thought of his father that brought Bobby back to reality. Suddenly, he was flooded with shame and self-loathing. Almost snarling to himself, he pulled off the clothing and wig and dressed again in his own clothing. Roughly, he shoved the clothes back into the hamper and stomped his way out of the house vowing to never do it again.

***

The four elder members of the Girls' Club were already playing in the swimming pool when Audra returned home from her appointment with Sheila.

"Why don't you join them?" Marianne suggested.

Audra shrugged. "Maybe later," she replied. She was still unsettled from her meeting with Sheila and needed to work it out.

Marianne didn't press, but she looked unhappy as Audra made her way up to her room. "The child is spending far too much time moping in her room and listening to Ken's music," Marianne mused. She watched the girls in the swimming pool from her kitchen window and was relieved to see that Ken had stationed himself poolside with a book to keep an eye on them. Ken's sense of responsibility never ceased to amaze her.

Marianne wandered out to the pool deck. "I can relieve you," she told her son.

"It's no problem mom. I'm just catching up on some reading anyways. Where's Audra?" Ken asked.

"Upstairs, moping again," Marianne sighed as she sat down in a deck chair beside her son.

"Cut her some slack mom, it takes time," Ken suggested as he put his book down.

Marianne nodded and smiled absently.

"You aren't sure about this, are you?" Ken asked.

Marianne shook her head. "Neither is your father, I think."

"Then why?"

"It seemed like the best of a bad lot," Marianne admitted. "There is some progress though."

"Yesterday?"

Marianne nodded. "Not much, but something. Sheila suggested that spending more time with the girls would be helpful."

"They're a pretty good bunch," Ken admitted.

"Did I make a mistake?" Marianne asked, suddenly full of doubt.

Ken saw the fear and concern in his mother's eyes and thought about his answer for a while. "I don't know mom, honestly," he told her. "Aaron was never all that masculine. It just wasn't in his nature and he got picked on a lot for it. If it wasn't for Mike, there might have been a lot more bumps and bruises along the way. Maybe being Audra will allow her to be herself."

Marianne smiled, feeling a little better with that answer. "How did I end up with such smart kids?" she asked.

"Just lucky I guess." Ken said as he laughed.

***

Audra was lying on her bed, drumming her fingers in time to the music when the four girls burst in. "Hey! Doesn't anybody knock?" Audra exclaimed as she sat upright.

Dana rapped on the door as she piled in. "Is that better?" she grinned.

"What's going on?" Audra asked, resigned to the intrusion.

"We're having a club meeting," Susie announced.

"Here?"

"Nope, in the pool! Mandatory attendance for all members," Susie told her.

"I don't want to go swimming," Audra replied.

"Too bad," Susie said as the others nodded. "Let's find your bathing suit and go."

"Is anybody listening to me?" Audra demanded. Part of her was seriously annoyed at the intrusion, but another part of her was grateful for it.

"Nope."

"I'll find my trunks," Audra conceded defeat.

"Uh... Audra? You can't wear trunks!" Susie pointed out.

"Why not?"

"Uh... Girls don't wear trunks." Susie looked around at the others for support.

Audra sat back down on the bed. "I'm not wearing a bikini. Period."

"What's wrong with a bikini?" Dana asked as she snapped the waistband on hers.

Audra rolled her eyes, "You wouldn't understand."

Dana looked a little cross at that, but Susie intervened. "I think mom bought you a one-piece suit," she said.

Audra looked unsure of that idea. "Why can't I just wear trunks and a t-shirt?"

All four girls made a face at that. "It looks ugly," Amy explained.

"Just try the bathing suit and if you hate it, come and change," Susie suggested as she found the dark blue suit in the dresser.

Audra sighed as she took the suit from Susie. "Alright, I'll try it," she muttered as she headed for the bathroom and got changed.

"Hey, that looks good on you," Julie commented as Audra emerged from the bathroom.

"I feel naked," Audra noted.

"Why? You have more on now than when you wore trunks," Susie pointed out.

"It's so tight." Audra gestured at the clingy suit. Despite being covered, she felt as if her whole body was on display. "Not that there is much to look at," she mused to herself. Audra was still trying to figure out why she kept allowing the girls to talk her into these things as she followed them down to the pool.

***

Robert Grant surprised his wife Judy by coming home early from work. "That's unlike him," she thought as she scooped the clothing from the kids hamper into the laundry baskets as Robert stomped around the house downstairs. "He sounds like he's in a pissy mood too." Judy sighed to herself and once again lamented the loss of love in her marriage.

Judy carted the basket of clothing towards the basement. Robert had absolutely refused to hire a maid, he saw no value in spending the money when Judy was perfectly capable of doing the work herself. Not for the first time, Judy wondered what had happened to that sweet young man that had swept her off her feet.

Judy was so preoccupied with the sudden return of Robert that she failed to notice the wig that was in the basket. Unfortunately, Robert didn't as he grunted at her on the stairwell.

"What the fuck is that doing in there?" Robert snarled at her as he suddenly yanked the wig out of the basket, spilling the remaining contents on the stairs.

Judy paled as she saw the wig in Robert's hand. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Bobby had tried on Amy's clothes again. For her son, she tried to bluff it out. "I must have dropped it in the basket as I was gathering laundry," she lied.

Robert slapped her, rocking her head backwards. "Don't lie to me you silly bitch," he shouted.

"Please, Robert," Judy cried as she grasped at his hand.

"Where is my son?"

Judy shook her head. "I don't know," she admitted.

"You're worthless," Robert snarled as he stomped off with the wig still in his hand. "When I get my hands on that little pussy, he'll wish he was never born. I'll make him into a man even if it kills him. I don't know why I married you... look at the excuse for a son you gave me."

Judy attempted to dry her tears as she slowly gathered the spilled clothing. Robert's violence was getting worse and, as she heard him mixing a drink in the bar, the alcohol he was consuming didn't help any. Judy was at a loss for what to do.

***

In spite of herself, Audra was having fun with the girls again. She had even forgotten that she was wearing a girl's bathing suit as she splashed and played pool tag in the water. By the time late afternoon was rolling around, their hands and toes were all wrinkled and a she looked like she would probably have a decent sunburn.

Marianne invited all of the girls to stay for dinner, ignoring Ken's groan in the background. Dutifully, one by one they made their phone calls home to get permission. It was Amy's expression that made Audra suddenly concerned. "What's wrong Amy?" Audra asked.

"It's nothing." Amy bit her lower lip.

Audra pulled Amy aside. "I don't believe you," Audra told her gently.

Amy attempted a small smile. "Are you sure you aren't a girl?" she asked. "You see too much for a boy."

Audra grimaced, but shrugged it off. "You're dodging the question," she accused.

Amy sighed. "My father is drinking and has his belt in his hands," she finally admitted.

"For you?" Audra looked surprised.

Amy bit her lip and shook her head. "No, for Bobby. It's going to be ugly. My mom told me to stay away tonight, if I can."

"Um..." Audra looked reluctant to volunteer something, but her compassionate nature finally made her suggest: "We could have a sleep-over."

Amy looked a bit surprised. "Are you sure? I know you aren't happy with this girl thing, do you think you can handle it?"

It was Audra's turn to bite her lip. "Now who sees too much? I'll survive. I don't want to be a girl, but I've had fun in the last couple of days." That was quite an admission for Audra and she even surprised herself with it and Amy squeezed her hand gently in acknowledgment.

Needless to say, the other girls were enthusiastic about the idea and they ignored Ken's second groan of the afternoon.

***

Bobby had largely forgotten his earlier activities of the day and so it was quite a surprise for him as he walked into his house to see his father standing there, obviously drunk, and holding the wig that Bobby had worn earlier.

Bobby's face went ashen as soon as he saw his father. "Dad, I... Uh..."

"What did I tell you boy?" Robert snarled as he reached for Bobby.

Bobby panicked and attempted to bolt for the front door, but his father was a step too quick in spite of being drunk. Bobby felt the fist connect with his back and he stumbled and fell face down. Closing his eyes, Bobby resigned himself to his fate as his father dragged him to the study and the waiting belt.

"One way or another boy, I'll beat manhood into you yet," Robert muttered drunkenly.

In the distance, Judy cried for her son as she heard the sounds of the belt striking him. She was grateful that Amy was at the Wilson's place, though she had avoided explaining that to Robert. Not for the last time, Judy wished that she still had her parents to turn to, she wouldn't feel so alone then.

Chapter 17: Peer Pressure

The members of the Girls' Club hung around the family room watching television and munching popcorn. Audra was bored, watching Friends was not her idea of fun when Star Trek: TNG was on. Still, she bit her tongue and pretended interest for their sake.

"I think Joey and Rachel should get together," Dana commented as the show was ending.

"I think they'll all be married to each other by the time the show ends," Susie agreed.

Audra just rolled her eyes and grabbed some more popcorn. "It's just a show," she said.

All four girls turned and glared at her. "It's more than just a show!" Julie insisted.

Audra looked confused. "What's the big deal?"

"Hopeless," Dana muttered.

"It's about romance and love, about growing up and finding the right person," Julie tried to explain.

Audra shrugged. "I don't get it," Audra admitted. "Look at Star Trek, now that's cool. Lots of aliens, lasers, and other special effects. It's fun and exciting."

The girls waved it off. "There's no heart in it," Susie insisted.

"It's just a show, it's not real," Audra told her.

Amy turned on her stomach and regarded the group for a second. "What's real?" she asked.

"Ooh, that's deep!" Susie clapped.

Amy looked at her friends more closely. Of the four, only Audra seemed to grasp what she was asking, she could see it in Audra's face. Amy was finding herself growing closer to Audra, they both had found themselves in situations beyond their control and that made for a kinship even if the reasons were vastly different.

"What is real is different for everybody," Audra commented as Amy nodded agreement.

"Oh, come on!" Dana scoffed.

"What's a real girl?" Audra asked.

"Everybody knows what a girl is," Dana insisted.

"No, really, what's a real girl? Am I a real girl?"

Dana looked unsure. "Yeah," she finally decided.

"Why? I was born a boy."

Julie watched her twin sister flounder in Audra's questions and whispered at Susie, "Are you sure she's eleven?" Susie grinned at her and shrugged.

"You're a girl now," Dana answered.

"I think I'm a boy."

"You have girl parts now," Dana protested.

"What's real is different for everybody," Audra repeated as Amy nodded vigorously.

"I don't get it," Dana conceded looking at Audra strangely. "Either you're a girl, or you're not."

"It's not that easy," Audra told her. "Did you ever want to be a boy?"

Dana shook her head.

"I never wanted to be a girl."

"Oh." Dana's face suddenly registered comprehension. "What do we do?" Dana asked.

"I don't know," Audra admitted.

***

Marianne looked in on the five girls and smiled at the circle of them lying on their tummies facing each other. Marianne had fond memories of similar circles growing up and she was very pleased to see Audra appearing to fit into it quite easily.

Marianne found James in the living room reading a book. She snuggled up next to him as he absently shifted his arm to accommodate her.

"Mmm?" James mumbled as he read.

"I was looking in on the girls," Marianne told him.

"And?" James asked as he placed the book on his knee.

"It looks so normal," Marianne admitted.

"Do you feel better about things?" James asked. Marianne had told him of her doubts that she had expressed to Ken earlier in the day. The same doubts that James was facing every day since the decision.

"A little," Marianne admitted. "It's a good sign. She seems so natural in that group."

"From what Sheila said, I think it's a bit of peer pressure."

"I just want her to be happy," Marianne said with a sigh.

"So do I, love, so do I."

***

Julie stared at Audra for a couple of seconds. "You know, you're kind of lucky in a way," She suggested.

"What?!?" Audra exclaimed, surprised.

"I don't mean it the way you think," Julie placated. "What I'm saying is that you can sort of choose."

"I don't think I had a lot of choice!" Audra retorted looking upset.

"No, no, I mean you think of yourself as a boy, right?" Julie asked.

"Uh huh."

"But you're a girl now, right?"

Audra wasn't looking any happier at that suggestion. "That's what they say."

"Well, you know all about being a boy, but you don't know anything about being a girl."

"That's kind of obvious Julie," Audra pointed out.

"Now you can find out. You get a chance to see what is better," Julie stated.

"I don't see what difference it makes," Audra noted. "I'm kind of stuck now."

Julie waved it away. "What doctors did they can undo," she asserted.

"Really?" Audra felt her hope rise. She hadn't thought of this angle before, she'd have to ask Sheila about it.

"What have you got in mind Julie?" Susie asked as the other two showed their interest.

"We need to show Audra what being a girl is like, why it's so much more cool. That way, she can decide knowing all the information."

"What makes you think it's more cool to be a girl?" Audra asked, curious in spite of herself.

Julie grinned. "You haven't noticed yet, but when you get older, you will. The boys fall all over themselves to get noticed by girls. It's pretty obvious that we're the ones that they want to impress. Now why would they do that unless we were more cool?"

"I'm not too anxious to get noticed by boys," Audra told her. Audra didn't really get it. She was still at that age where the opposite sex was a mystery to be avoided. That she had been forced to swap sides really didn't change that view.

"It's just proof," Julie waved away the objection.

"My father has a different take on it," Amy commented, throwing a bit of cold water on the discussion. "He thinks women are useless, that they only exist to serve men and nothing more." Amy felt hot tears trickle down her face despite her attempts to staunch them.

Audra wrapped her arms around Amy without thinking, but the other girls didn't miss the instinctive reaction. Julie raised her eyebrow at Susie and nodded towards Amy and Audra. Both flicked their eyes towards the door in an unspoken question and then offered to get refreshments.

"Audra is more girl than boy," Julie commented on the way to the kitchen.

"Yeah, she was before too," Susie agreed. "Aaron was never like Ken, even if he tried to be."

"Do you think she was always supposed to be a girl?"

Susie thought about it for a few minutes. "I don't know, but it sure seems like it. She isn't acting any different than before, but it seems to fit better. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does. Amy really likes her you know."

Susie nodded. "Too bad her brother won't leave Audra alone," she said as she pulled some drinks out of the fridge and piled them into Julie's arms.

"Amy has something on him," Julie noted.

"She won't say though."

"I don't get her father either."

"Neither do I. My dad and Ken are real men and they don't act like that," Susie agreed.

"I guess Audra is right. What's real is different for everybody. Ken is a dreamboat you know."

"Oh, ick!" Susie laughed.

Chapter 18: Remember Me?

Life had fallen into a basic routine for Audra in the days following the sleep-over. She was still reluctant to go out from the safe confines of her house, but she had come to a basic equilibrium that kept her from feeling too weird about her situation.

Audra dove into the pool, cutting a clean line. She'd gotten more comfortable in the bathing suit as well. In fact, if she was pressed to admit it, it was more comfortable than her old trunks and didn't hinder her swimming as much. "At least it won't fall off," Audra reminded herself with a laugh.

Audra floated on the pool surface, enjoying the rays of the sun and the peace of solitude. She knew her mother was watching from the kitchen, but the appearance of solitude was there and Audra reveled in it. It gave her a chance to wrestle with recent events and prepare herself for her first baseball practice that evening.

"The big question," Audra vocalized, "Is what do I do about Julie's offer. I don't want to be a girl, at least I don't think I do, but I don't even really know what a girl is." This was the crux of the problem for Audra. Growing up, she always thought of herself as a boy, but she knew she was a bit different, sports not withstanding. She didn't have that intense competitive drive, she liked just hanging around and talking. She even got along with her sister! Reflecting on the way she was before gave Audra reason to think that Julie may not be all that far off the mark after all.

"Was I really a real boy?" Audra whispered aloud. She was beginning to have doubts about her identity as Aaron.

"There's hope! Julie said that they could undo it," Aaron's voice reminded her in her head.

"Really?" Audra asked the voice.

"Yeah!" Aaron's voice sounded so sure. Audra could almost feel the battle lines being drawn across her soul.

However, Audra's internal wrestling was interrupted by Mike coming onto the pool deck. "Hey! Remember me?" he called at her.

"Mike!"

"She remembers!" Mike marveled.

Audra rolled her eyes. "Give me a break, will ya."

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like doofus?" Audra replied, waving her arms at the pool as she floated to the edge. "Did you bring your trunks?"

"Yeah."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Don't be dense! Get changed," Audra instructed. Mike scampered off to follow directions.

Within minutes, Mike was back but he stopped as he watched Audra stretch on the diving board. "Wow, it's really true," Mike said to himself as his mind registered that the lithe figure on the board really was female now. Mike did a cannonball into the pool as Audra came to the surface from her dive.

She sputtered from the sudden rush of water when she expected air. "Hey!" she shouted as she splashed him back and spun off as he started chasing her around the pool. Mike finally caught her after a couple of laps and gave her a good dunk. They were laughing their heads off as they rested against the pool wall.

"You got your ears pierced!" Mike suddenly noticed.

"Yeah?" Audra replied a little guardedly.

"They look cool," Mike soothed as he recognized the reaction.

"You don't think they make me look more girl-like?" Audra asked, subconsciously planting a trap.

"Um..." Mike was a bit flustered at the question. They'd been friends for years, he didn't have the heart to tell Audra that she had always looked girl-like and that earrings weren't going to make any difference one way or another. "More? No, I don't think so," Mike finally decided as a safe answer.

"They do, don't they?" Audra pressed.

Mike sighed, this wasn't going well. "No, I think they look cool."

Audra relaxed the pressure. She was certain that Mike was avoiding the need to tell her what she had told herself this morning. She smiled at him, "Cool."

Mike gave a mental sigh of relief. "Are you coming to practice tonight?" Mike asked, trying to change the subject.

Audra shrugged. "I don't know, the game didn't go so well," Audra said. She had been avoiding a repeat of that incident.

"You heard what Coach Clarke said."

Audra nodded. "Doesn't matter though, they'll just wait until he's not around. The team doesn't want me anyways."

"That's not true!"

Audra shrugged.

Susie poked her head through the patio doors. "Hey! Pool party?" Audra and Mike both shrugged, so Susie took that as a yes and began the phone chain. Within a half an hour, there was at least a two dozen kids playing around the pool.

***

Audra was sunning herself in a patio lounge when she felt a shadow darken her. Looking up, she saw the smiling face of Jason Stewart looking down at her. "Hey Jase," she greeted.

"Hey. Mind if I sit?" Jason asked, almost shyly.

Audra waved him to a chair.

"Are you coming tonight?" Jason asked.

Audra shrugged, "I don't know, I was thinking about it."

"You should, you know."

"Why?"

"We need you, Steve is brutal at that position."

"I don't know if I can deal with that again," Audra admitted.

"Hey, for what it's worth, most of the team thinks Bobby was being an ass."

"Thanks." Jason didn't know it, but his simple statement was like somebody had propped open a door that Audra had thought was closing.

Both of them sat in silence for a few minutes as Audra closed her eyes to the sun's rays. "You know, you're actually very pretty," Jason suddenly blurted out.

"What?!?" Audra was shocked to the core.

"I didn't mean anything bad by it," Jason tried to cover.

Audra just stared at him, her mouth hanging open.

"I just thought you should know," Jason gestured an awkward apology as he stood up. "I didn't mean to bug you."

Audra kept staring at him as he walked away from her, her mind reeling from this revelation by Jason.

***

"Hey, what's eating you?" Mike asked as he wandered into the kitchen after Audra had sprinted from the pool.

"He said I was pretty!" Audra had tears in her eyes.

"So?"

"You just don't get it!" Audra tried to brush past him.

Mike grabbed her and spun her to face him. "You know, Audra, we've been best friends for a long time."

Audra nodded at him, surprised at being grabbed.

"You want to know the truth? You've always been pretty."

Audra gaped at him.

"It's true," Mike told her. "Do you know how many fights I got in defending you over that?"

Audra shook her head.

"You're a girl now. It's okay to be pretty." Mike released her arms, watching as Audra shook her head, attempting to deny his words. Suddenly, she fled deeper into the house.

"What have I done?" Mike asked nobody in particular.

***

Marianne came upon a dejected looking Mike in the kitchen. "What ever is the matter Mike?" she asked him, sitting down to join him at the table.

Mike wasn't sure how to say this. He had known Marianne for years, he knew that she had even changed his diapers, but this was Audra. "I kind of messed up with Audra, I think," Mike finally admitted.

Marianne raised an eyebrow.

Mike haltingly told her the story of the incident. "I'm sorry," he finished.

Marianne smiled and squeezed his hand. "No Mike, you don't have to apologize for being right. You have always been her best friend and I really believe that you still are."

Mike nodded.

***

"Go away!" Audra shouted at the knock on her door. Almost unconsciously, she had been hugging the large teddy bear that her maternal grandparents bought for her on the day she was born.

Marianne ignored the instruction and opened the door. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Audra quickly wiped her tears away and nodded.

Marianne sat down beside her on the bed and took her hands. "I don't believe you," she said.

Audra felt the tears return. "It's so hard mom, so very hard. I never wanted this, but everybody seems to think it's what I should have wanted. Even I do, sometimes." Audra buried her face into the neck of the teddy bear with that admission.

Marianne gently stroked Audra's hair. "Your father and I sometimes wonder if we made a mistake too."

Audra looked up in shock.

"It's the truth," Marianne nodded. "And sometimes we think it was the wisest decision we've ever made as parents."

"I don't understand," Audra confessed.

"Audra, neither of us wished this on you. If we could change the past, we would. Not a day goes by that we don't wish it could be so. Being a man or woman isn't just body parts, it's also in your soul, and both are wonderful to be. They are equal and yet different."

"Is that what happened mom? Did you look into my soul?" Audra asked, almost afraid of the answer that she kept hearing today.

"I think I did. Sometimes I wonder, you fight so hard. Then I see your gentle nature, how you comforted Amy, and I stop wondering. Did I see into your soul?"

Audra felt the tears roll again. "I don't know. I feel so lost. Will I remember me?"

Chapter 19: Confrontation

Marianne covered for Audra for the rest of the party, telling everyone that Audra still tired easily and need to rest up for tonight. The excuse gave Audra enough time to recover and talk herself into going to baseball practice. The real deciding factor was Jason's comment about the team opinion. The door was still open and Audra didn't want it to close on her.

When Mike showed up at her house to go to ball practice, she was already dressed in her uniform and ready to go.

"I'm glad you're coming," Mike commented. "I wasn't sure if you would."

Audra smiled. "I want to play," she admitted. Even with Jason's reassurances and Mike's presence, Audra was still nervous about going. Almost a week had passed, but the incident with Bobby at the ball diamond still left her feeling shaken.

The two made it to the park in plenty of time and so decided to toss the ball around while they waited. Their concentration on throwing caused them to ignore the arrival of Bobby and his 'gang' of friends and assorted hangers on. The group watched the two friends throwing the ball for a minute, until Bobby took the opportunity to trip Audra as she chased down a missed ball.

Audra stumbled and rolled herself to a sitting position. "What did you do that for?" she demanded.

"Because I felt like it freak," Bobby sneered at her as Mike came running towards them.

Audra stood with her fists balled up. "What is your problem? I have done anything to you!"

Bobby waved his friends to intercept Mike and then pointed at his almost faded shiner. "You did this and now you're going to pay. Freaks should know better than to fuck with their betters."

Audra tried backing up and felt herself shoved back towards Bobby. To the side, she could see Mike struggling with two of Bobby's friends, doing some damage, but not getting free. Bobby charged her and she managed to dodge the first rush, but was shoved again. Stumbling, Bobby hit her with the force of his shoulder and she felt the wind being knocked out of her as she curled on the ground in pain.

Audra closed her eyes, expecting Bobby to jump on her and start swinging. In a few moments, she opened them to see Coach Clarke holding Bobby's arms.

"I think you have some serious explanations to make," Coach Clarke told Bobby as Audra recovered her breath. "Let him go," Coach Clarke instructed the boys holding Mike. Mike rushed over to help Audra to a sitting position.

"Well?" Coach Clarke asked. "I'm waiting." He let go of Bobby's arms.

Bobby shook his head furiously. "This freak gave me a black eye!"

Audra could see the rest of the team approaching the scene with curiosity and she covered her eyes with her hands. As much of a problem as Bobby was, he was their best player.

Coach Clarke favored Bobby with an ice cold stare. "Get out of here," he said.

"What?" Bobby looked shocked.

"Get out of here. You're off the team. I don't want to see you around this ball diamond again."

Bobby gave Audra and Mike a murderous look. "You'll pay for this freak," he spat at her.

Coach Clarke shook his head. "Don't make your stupidity any worse," he suggested. "I gave you fair warning last week and you didn't listen. Now get lost. You have only yourself to blame."

Coach Clarke walked over to Audra and helped her up. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"I think so, just a little winded," Audra replied.

Coach Clarke smiled at her and then turned to the rest of the team. "I wasn't kidding last week. This is unacceptable and it had better not happen again. Now let's practice."

***

Audra had spent most of the practice working on her batting drills and getting her timing back. With Bobby off the team, power loss was going to have to be made up with finesse. By the end of the practice, Audra was feeling pleasantly drained and emotionally sated having taken her frustrations out on the ball.

Coach Clarke plunked himself down beside her in the dugout as she recovered. "How are you doing Audra?" he asked.

"Okay, I guess." Audra stared at the floor.

"You know, Julie and Dana think the world of you."

"Really?" Audra looked at him in surprise.

"Really. I do too. You're a really good kid. I'd have been proud to have you as my own."

Audra felt a slight sting of tears as she jumped up and hugged her coach. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Any time."

Chapter 20: Like Father, Like Son

Dan Clarke, Audra's coach, flipped open the Sporting News magazine in the book store to see if there was anything worth reading enough to buy. "Usual stuff," he muttered to himself. "Sports magazines spend more time on bikinis than sports these days. Not that bikinis are bad!"

Dan's reverie was interrupted with a cross sounding, "Hey Clarke! I want a word with you." Dan rolled his eyes and turned to confront the ever-belligerent Robert Grant.

"What can I do for you Robert?" Dan asked politely. "As if I didn't know," he told himself.

"As if you didn't know!" Robert said, echoing Dan's thoughts.

"I take it this is about your son's unacceptable behavior?"

"Unacceptable?!?" Robert sputtered.

"Yes, unacceptable. I'll not have teammates turning on each other while I'm coach. Your son was the instigator and he had been warned."

Robert looked like he was about to blow a gasket.

"Audra has enough trouble to concern herself with. She definitely doesn't need to be tormented and attacked out of petty bigotry," Dan further explained.

"That half-boy, half-girl, freak gave my son a black eye!"

Dan stepped back and gave Robert a cold look. "A well deserved one from what I heard from my daughters."

"You'd take the word of flighty girls over my son?!?" Robert shouted at him.

"Enough! You've insulted Audra, you've insulted my daughters, and you have insulted me with your mere presence. It's pretty obvious where Bobby gets his bigotry and stupidity from." Dan turned away, his eyes flashing in anger.

Robert grabbed his arm. "We're not finished here," he snarled.

"Yes we are." Dan said as he turned back. "Let go of my arm or, so help me, I'll have you planted in a jail cell."

Robert dropped his arm and sneered, "Not much of a real man are you Clarke?"

"If you're the supposed measure of a real man, then I'd rather be a woman."

***

Bobby sighed with relief as Amy smoothed the cream on his back. "I don't get it," Amy told him as she worked.

"What?" Bobby sounded surprised.

"Why do you keep going after Audra?"

Bobby shrugged. Amy sat back and stopped applying the cream to sooth the strap marks. Bobby's latest failure to 'win' had earned him a few more stripes at the hands of his father.

"Hey! Don't stop," Bobby protested.

Amy tossed the cream on to his lap. "Do it yourself," she told him.

"What's your problem?" Bobby demanded.

"I don't like you very much right now." Amy turned and began to leave the room.

Bobby stared after her. In spite of himself, his father's conditioning was affecting him. He'd do almost anything to avoid the belt. "Why can't she understand?" Bobby ground his teeth in frustration.

"Maybe father is right," Bobby shouted after her. "All you women want to do is hold men back. Make us into weak shadows of ourselves."

Amy turned and regarded her brother with sad eyes. "Do you really believe that? Do you ever wonder why Audra calls her father 'dad' and we don't? Who are the freaks here?"

***

Audra and Susie popped out of the candy store and sat on the curb with their ice cream cones. Susie shook her head. "Vanilla?" She asked, making it sound like the choice of sick people everywhere.

"What's wrong with vanilla?" Audra demanded.

"It's not chocolate."

"Well, duh. I like vanilla."

"Chocolate's a girl's best friend," Susie grinned at her.

Audra furrowed her brows. "I thought it was diamonds?"

"Them too."

The two sat licking their cones in silence for a few minutes. "Did you think about what Julie said?" Susie asked suddenly.

Audra was beginning to frame an answer to that question when the footsteps that had been behind them stopped. "Audra?" A voice asked in a half snarl from above.

Audra looked up. "That's me," she replied a little nervously.

The man suddenly reached down and grabbed her arm, knocking the ice cream cone to the ground. "Hey!" Audra shouted.

"So, you're the little freak that's been causing trouble for my son!"

Audra recognized the angry face of Robert Grant at that moment and was suddenly afraid.

Susie jumped up and faced him. "Leave my sister alone!" she shouted.

"Shut up," Robert snarled as his fingers dug painfully into Audra's arm. He turned back to Audra. "You'd better stay away from my son if you know what's good for you."

At that moment, the lady in the candy store came running out. "What do you think you're doing? Let that child go!" she shouted.

Robert flung Audra's arm away and pointed his finger at her. "Don't forget what I said or you'll regret it," he threatened.

A shaken Audra stood holding her bruised arm as the lady ran up. "Are you okay sweetie?" she asked.

Audra nodded, her eyes filling with tears. She hadn't felt that frightened since the time when she woke up in the darkness of that awful apartment. "Why does he hate me?" Audra whispered to nobody in particular.

"Who child?"

"I haven't done anything wrong," Audra again whispered into the wind.

"Come," the lady said gently, her eyes filled with compassion. "Let's get you a new ice cream cone and a glass of water. It'll help you feel better."

Audra nodded as her eyes followed Robert Grant down the street. She placed her hand in the lady's outstretched hand absently and allowed herself to be led back into the candy store.

***

"I'll kill him!" James raged in the kitchen after hearing the story from Susie.

Marianne had sent Susie and Audra upstairs after one look at James and Ken's faces. There was no doubt in Marianne's mind that if she didn't calm her husband and son down, that they would do something rash, something that they would both regret.

"James, please!" Marianne tried to gain his attention.

"That unbelievable bastard! How dare he threaten my child? How dare he! I'll rip off his head and shit down his neck!"

As James raged, Ken sat at the table and seethed. His fingers had already left dents in the table top and he could feel himself at the edge of boiling over into the same rage his father was in.

"James Wilson!"

Marianne's sudden, sharp, words pulled him and Ken up short. Both turned to look at her in surprise, neither ever having heard that tone of voice in her before.

"I'll not have either of you sitting in a jail cell because of that person! I'll take care of this and I'll make damn certain that he knows very well what the consequences of his actions are. Do I make myself clear?" Marianne glared at them both.

Both of them could only nod. Neither had witnessed Marianne like this before and they could see the cold fury in her eyes. Suddenly, the two Wilson men were very grateful that that fury was directed at someone else. Marianne turned to the telephone.

Chapter 21: Unraveling

"Yes?" Robert Grant practically snarled as he stared blearily at the two police officers that stood in front of his door.

"Robert Grant?" One of the officers asked, polite in spite of the raised eyebrow he gave to the greeting.

Robert nodded curtly. He'd already had several drinks and his temper was starting to rouse itself.

"Mister Grant, we received a complaint this evening regarding you threatening, and manhandling, a young girl today."

"That was no girl," Robert snarled. "It was some mixed boy-girl freak."

The two officers looked at each other before the first turned back and regarded Robert with a glare. "Mister Grant, you are making it exceedingly tempting for me to run you in on an assault charge."

Robert wisely, despite the haze of alcohol, kept his mouth shut at that statement. He hadn't gotten as far as he had in life by being totally stupid.

"It is my advice to you, Mister Grant, that you stay well away from Audra Wilson. If we get another complaint, we will run you in and we would be very happy to do so." The officers turned and left before Robert could respond.

***

Robert Grant poured himself another drink, his face red from the combination of alcohol and suffused anger. "Fucking freak, it's been screwing with my family from the moment it escaped that hospital," Robert mumbled to himself.

Judy looked in on her husband, having heard the commotion at the front door. "Who was that Robert? At this hour?" Judy asked timidly from the door. From where she stood, she could see that Robert was well on his way to becoming very drunk.

Robert growled and turned around to face her. "Nothing, now fuck off. And send that worthless son of mine down here while you're at it."

Judy backed up a step. What she saw in Robert's face shocked her. It was evident that he was well past the point of reason, that his face carried danger and imminent violence. Judy silently began backing out of the room, fearful for her son and for herself.

Robert swirled his drink, spilling some of it over the edge of the glass. He stumbled as he weaved his way to the couch near the bar and fell heavily into the seat. He took a large gulp from his glass and slammed it on the end table beside him. Within seconds, he was snoring, passed out.

Judy started at the soft touch on her arm. "We have to get out of here," Amy whispered to her.

"Where?" Judy asked, feeling helpless, tears forming in her eyes.

***

Marianne was shocked awake by the ringing of the phone at her bedside table. "Hello?" She asked, fearful of bad news at such an hour.

"Marianne?" Asked the tentative voice at the other end of the line.

"Yes?" Marianne struggled to place the voice.

"It's Judy, Judy Grant. Oh Marianne, I need help!"

Marianne could hear the tears and strain in Judy's voice. They had been friends, but as Robert had become increasingly jealous and demanding, their visits and talks had fallen off. Marianne put that aside and sat up straight in bed. "What is the matter Judy?" she asked.

"It's... It's Robert. Marianne, he's losing it. He's become so violent. He drinks constantly and tonight he looked ready to kill. I'm so afraid." Judy practically whispered the last.

"Where is Robert now?" Marianne asked.

"He's passed out in the living room."

Marianne made a decision. While she had mixed feelings about Bobby, and she knew Audra would have even more, she had to get the kids and her friend out of that situation. "Alright Judy, I'll be there in fifteen minutes. You and the kids meet me on the street."

"Are you sure Marianne?" Judy asked, suddenly afraid of the reaction from Robert.

"I am. Now go and get ready," Marianne instructed.

***

Marianne pulled up to the curb at the Grant house and found an anxious Judy waiting with her children. It was obvious to Marianne that Judy was in a state of fear; she kept glancing back at her house as if afraid that Robert would come roaring out.

Judy hustled the two sleepy kids into the back of the minivan with the bags and climbed into the front passenger seat beside Marianne. "Thank you so much, I didn't know where else to turn," Judy told her gratefully, tears still streaming from her eyes.

Marianne smiled back reassuringly. "It's okay Judy. It will all be okay," she soothed. Marianne was well aware that Judy was an orphan and didn't have any immediate family that she knew of.

***

Bobby wasn't thrilled with their destination. He was, at best description, on extremely unfriendly terms with all of the Wilson children --- especially Audra --- and wasn't looking forward to spending any time there. His last conversation with Amy was an eye-opener and he had found himself thinking about her final words a lot. A small sense of shame was a more apt description of what Bobby was feeling and with shame came worry and fear.

James Wilson greeted them all at the door and Bobby found his presence strangely reassuring. James was one of those big men that projected the friendly bear image, the one that kids loved and found comforting. "He's seems like a dad," Bobby thought as he compared the friendly visage to the often angry face of his own father.

"I've made up rooms for you and Bobby," James was telling Judy as they brought their bags into the house. "However, Amy will have to share with Susie since we've run out of guest rooms."

"Can I ask a favor, Mister Wilson," Amy piped up.

"Sure Amy."

"Can I stay with Audra please?"

James and Judy were surprised by the question, knowing that Amy and Susie were friends, but Marianne wasn't. Having seen Amy and Audra together, she knew quite well that they were kindred spirits despite the age difference and that they had already grown close. "Of course you can Amy," Marianne told her gently.

***

Even with being unsurprised with Amy's request, Marianne was surprised by Susie's reaction.

"No problem mom," Susie said, showing no evidence of being upset.

"I thought you might have been a bit insulted," Marianne told her.

Susie shrugged. "Audra and Amy understand each other. It's a better setup."

Marianne smiled at her daughter and ruffled her hair. "You're a smart cookie you know."

Susie grinned. "Besides, Amy can probably talk her into being more girl-like."

"Devious too."

***

Audra surprised herself at being excited at having Amy stay with her. She did, however, have very mixed feelings about Bobby under their roof. While she understood the reason, her memories of torment from Bobby were far too fresh to be comfortable with him here.

Marianne and Judy smiled as they tucked the two girls in. Neither had missed the comforting hug that Audra had given Amy as she came in, and Judy was beginning to see why Amy had been so talkative about Audra to her.

"Okay, no staying up yakking girls," Marianne told them as she prepared to shut out the light.

Both girls made solemn promises to go to sleep quickly. Promises promptly disbelieved by the mothers at the doorway.

"I'm glad you're here," Audra whispered as the door closed. Amy squeezed her hand in thanks.

Chapter 22: Breaking the Ice

Audra woke up to sunlight streaming through the windows. At first, she was startled to find Amy there, still asleep, but then she remembered the events of last night and her whispered conversation with Amy. Audra leaned up on her elbow and watched her friend sleep, enjoying the peaceful expression on Amy's face. Without conscious thought, Audra lightly brushed away the hair from Amy's face, smiling absently.

Amy stirred at the touch and her eyes opened. She smiled up at Audra. "Good morning," she said.

"Good morning." Audra grinned in return. "I didn't wake you did I?"

Amy shook her head. "Thanks for letting me stay here," Amy added.

"No problem, I'm glad you're safe."

Amy shuddered. "Me too." Audra gave her a reassuring hug.

"Do you want to shower first? I take a while since I have medical things to do," Audra asked.

"Medical things?"

Audra blushed and looked uncomfortable. "It's hard to explain. It's not very pleasant though, it still hurts, but the doctor says I have to do it to keep things from closing up and needing more surgery."

Amy gave her friend a reassuring squeeze on the arm and nodded, not pressing the issue. "I'll just snooze some more while you shower," Amy told her with a small yawn.

***

Audra was still trying to figure out what to wear by the time Amy skipped back in from her shower. "Not dressed yet?!?" Amy asked, surprised to see Audra still wrapped in a towel.

"I'm looking for something that isn't too girly," Audra explained.

"Why?"

"Bobby."

Amy's eyes darkened. "Don't worry about him," Amy told her. "He won't say a thing if he knows what's good for him."

"Still..."

"What's in your closet?"

Audra shrugged, so Amy popped open the door to the walk-in and gasped. "Wow! Look at all the pretty clothes!" Amy exclaimed.

"I hadn't noticed," Audra admitted.

Amy turned and regarded her friend. "You haven't tried on a single thing in here have you?"

Audra shook her head.

"Why not?"

"It seemed like I would be giving up," Audra told her.

Amy gave her a puzzled look. "Giving up?"

"That if I wore a dress that I would never be a boy again."

Amy walked back to the bed and sat down. Audra's revelation was like her pushing Bobby about his attitudes, that if she stopped pushing, she would have given up. "Still," She wondered. "Is it the same?"

"Can I ask you something Audra?" Amy questioned.

Audra nodded, "Sure."

"Are you afraid that you would rather be a girl and that people would think that was wrong?"

The question rocked Audra, almost knocking her down. She started to speak several times, her mind whirling. It was if Amy, with one simple question, had reached in and touched her soul. Audra fell to her knees and began crying.

Amy, though surprised at the reaction, jumped up and ran to comfort her. "I'm sorry Audra!" she cried.

Audra shook her head and wiped at her tears. "No, it's okay. Really. I... I've just been asking myself that question for the last few days. I don't know anymore. I thought I did, but..."

Amy continued to hug her. "You've never given the girl in you a chance to be a girl," Amy observed.

"Not really," Audra admitted.

"Are you willing to try?"

Audra thought for a few moments and then nodded sharply, almost nervously.

Amy gave her a fierce hug in return and then favored her with a glorious smile. "Awesome! I wasn't going to lose my best girl friend now."

Audra laughed as the tension started to drain from her body.

***

The look on the faces of her friends and family was almost enough to make up for the nervous tension that Audra felt as she and Amy entered the kitchen for breakfast. In spite of her misgivings, Audra allowed Amy to dress her in a simple jean jumper skirt with a pink top. On her feet were matching pink socks and white tennis shoes. Never before had Audra dressed so obviously feminine and the shock her family felt was exceeded only by her own.

Audra and Amy linked arms and gave everyone a bright smile. "Hi, what's for breakfast?" Amy chirped as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

Marianne was the first to recover and gave Audra a puzzled smile. "Cereal, I'm afraid. Sit down girls, I'll bring you some bowls," she offered.

Audra and Amy sat at the table as everyone else continued to stare at them. Audra looked around and realized that someone was going to have to break the tension. "Do I have something on my shirt?" Audra asked with an innocent expression.

James shook his head as if clearing away cobwebs. "Err... no. You look wonderful sweetheart."

"Thank you daddy," Audra said with an impish grin.

Her father surprised her by grinning back and giving her a sudden wink. What seemed like a small gesture from her father suddenly meant a great deal to Audra. It was if her fears of being seen as less than what she should be had been banished in the easy and smiling acceptance of her father. Audra stood up and walked around the table and gave her father a fierce hug.

James hugged her back and lifted her face towards his with his hand cupped on her chin. "Never fear that I love and respect you. You make me proud," he told her seriously.

Bobby watched this exchange like somebody who had suddenly been exposed to an entirely different world. Despite knowing that Audra was a girl now, and making fun of it, Bobby hadn't really absorbed the concept. Seeing her, for the first time, in a truly feminine outfit was a surprise and drove home the reality of her situation.

Amy watched the expressions run through Bobby's face. She saw him move from surprise, to interest, and finally to longing. At first she thought that Audra, who was truly pretty, had caught his attention.

See the reaction of Audra's father, his love and acceptance, was a shock to everything Bobby's father had taught him. That reaction was more important to him than seeing Audra dressed completely feminine. He was witnessing what could have been his had his father truly cared about him.

Amy then saw Bobby's gaze had fallen squarely on Mister Wilson and she understood. She gave Bobby a look full of sympathy.

Bobby cleared his throat. Catching the look from Amy, he ducked away from her eyes and asked, "May I be excused?" As various parental assents came to him, he attempted a polite smile and backed out of the kitchen. Once the door had closed behind him, he bolted for the guest room.

***

"Bobby?" Amy practically whispered into the darkened room.

"What?" Bobby's rough reply had the edge of crying to it.

Amy walked calmly and slowly to the bed and sat down. Gently, she cradled her brother's head and stroked away the tears.

"Why?" Bobby demanded suddenly.

"Our bad luck?" Amy suggested.

Bobby shook his head. "I don't understand. He doesn't care about me."

"I know," Amy whispered.

"Why?" Bobby's question was so insistent, so full of pain.

"I don't know."

"I tried, I really tried."

"I know," Amy soothed. "You aren't like him. You shouldn't be like him. You know that, don't you?"

Bobby nodded in her lap. "I'm jealous of her, you know," he admitted.

"Who?"

"Audra."

"Yeah, I know, but you shouldn't be. Audra doesn't want to be here, at least not yet."

Bobby looked surprised and sat upright. "Why? She looks so natural, so perfect. I could never be like that."

Amy looked at the intense pain on the face of her brother as he admitted that. It was true, Amy couldn't deny it, Bobby would never look so feminine no matter how hard he tried. "Is that the only reason?" she asked.

"No," Bobby admitted. "Mister Wilson accepts her. He doesn't think less of her. He's proud of her. Why couldn't our father be proud of me?"

Amy shook her head. "He's not enough of a man," she told him.

Bobby looked at her in surprise.

"It's true. Real men don't need to be bullies to prove they are men."

"My daughter is as smart as she is pretty," Judy said from the doorway as both children looked at her in surprise. "And my son is more of a man than his father ever will be," she added with a soft smile.

Judy walked into the room and hugged both her children. "Bobby, I think you need to talk to Audra," she said as she released them.

Bobby nodded.

***

Audra looked up from her book as the shadow crossed her lounger at the side of the pool.

"Hi," Bobby said. "Can I sit down?"

Audra shrugged in response and went back to reading.

Bobby looked around at his surroundings, suddenly feeling awkward and afraid. Fear, in the company of his peers, was not something Bobby was very used to. "Audra, I..."

Audra put down her book and looked at him.

Bobby took a deep breath. "Look, I'm really sorry," he said.

Audra's eyes searched his face and she was surprised that his apology looked genuine.

"Nobody put me up to this, it's just something I had to say," Bobby told her with a serious look, feeling even more nervous with her lack of response as Audra kept staring at him. "I was being stupid, trying to show off. If you want to know the truth, I'm jealous of you!" Bobby blurted out before he could stop himself.

"Jealous?" Audra looked very surprised.

Bobby blushed a deep crimson. "Um... it's nothing," he mumbled.

Audra sat up and faced him. She sensed that Bobby was holding on to something. "I won't tell anyone," she said, staring him straight in the eye.

Bobby took another deep breath and saw the honesty in her expression. Suddenly the pent up frustration of his past rushed to the surface, and he told her. He told her everything. His desire to be a girl sometimes. His games with Amy. His dressing up. Most important of all, he told her his father's reaction. Throughout it all, Audra sat in surprised silence and then she understood. "You could sink me now," Bobby admitted as he finished.

Audra looked at him in the eyes again and favored him with her smile. "I accept your apology," she told him simply.

"You understand?" Bobby asked, surprised.

Audra nodded. "Sometimes, being what others want is pretty hard."

Bobby nodded agreement and smiled back. "You look really pretty you know," Bobby told her.

Audra smiled. "Thanks, Bobby."

Chapter 23: Lives Intertwining

Robert Grant woke with his mouth feeling as if it had been stuffed with cotton and his head thumping like a bass speaker playing rap music. He rolled himself to a sitting position on the couch and winced at the sunlight streaming through the curtains.

"Damn woman," Robert groused. "She didn't even bother to shut the drapes. Well, I'll teach her not to make that mistake again."

Robert stumbled his way into the kitchen, expecting Judy to have made a pot of coffee. He stared in sullen disbelief at the empty coffee pot, not even ready to brew. "What the fuck has gotten into her?" Robert asked himself as he prepared the coffee for himself. Robert sat himself down at the kitchen table and flicked on the kitchen television to catch the morning news and await the brewing of the coffee.

After drinking half of his cup, Robert began to feel more human and started to wonder just where, exactly, Judy and the kids could have gotten to this early in the morning. "Judy!" Robert bellowed from the kitchen in case she was still in bed. "Judy! You stupid bitch! Get down here right now!" Robert grew frustrated at the lack of answer.

"That brainless tart is going to get a real lesson in what happens when you fuck up," Robert grumbled as he pulled himself up the staircase to the bedrooms. He was surprised to find his bedroom empty, and a quick look at the children's bedrooms confirmed that they too were gone. It wasn't until he sat on his bed that he saw the note pinned to his pillow.

Robert,

Last night was the final straw in our relationship, if you could call it that. It was more like abusive slavery to me. I couldn't take it anymore, my heart was breaking for the lost loving marriage that we once had and for the fear I saw in the eyes of our children whenever you were around. You're out of control and I refuse to deal with it any longer.

I have taken the children someplace safe and I plan to file for divorce as soon as possible. For the safety of the children, I intend to seek sole custody with no visitation rights for you. With your continued physical and mental abuse of Bobby, I have no doubt that I will win that right.

It's over Robert and you have only yourself to blame.

Judy

Robert read the letter twice, his mind unable to comprehend that Judy had found the spine to defy him like this. He sat there with the neatly written note in his hand and felt the rage build inside him. "How dare she!" Robert shouted. "How dare she try to take my son from me! How dare she walk away from me! That bitch will pay."

Robert crumpled the paper and flung it at the wall as he surged to his feet. That simple act of anger did not nearly satisfy his rage, and so he swept his arm across the top of Judy's dresser, flinging her things across the room. He then stormed downstairs to his home office and poured himself a drink. Sitting in his desk chair, his mind seethed with anger. "I'll show her," he snarled. "When I'm done with her, she'll get nothing, not even the fucking children. Grants don't lose." Robert pulled his lawyer's number from the rolodex and began to dial.

***

"Do you have a lawyer, Judy?" Marianne asked as Judy explained the note she had left for Robert last night. The two women were chatting at the kitchen table while the children played in the pool under the watchful eye of Ken. James had already left for work.

Judy shook her head. "I was hoping to find one today," she admitted.

"I know somebody who is really good at this sort of thing Judy," Marianne suggested.

"I would be very grateful."

"Let me call her and see if she can see you today." Marianne gave Judy a reassuring smile and dialed the phone.

"Hi, it's Marianne Wilson calling. May I speak to Lucy Morgan please?" Marianne said into the phone when it was answered.

Marianne waited patiently as her call was transferred to Lucy Morgan.

"Marianne! What a lovely surprise!" Lucy exclaimed as she answered the phone.

"Lucy, it's so nice to talk to you again," Marianne told her.

"So, what do I owe for this pleasure? A social call or business?"

"Business I'm afraid," Marianne admitted. "Though I would love to meet for lunch!"

"I can pry myself free today," she laughed. "What's the nature of the business?"

"A friend of mine really needs your help Lucy. It's very important and I would like to expedite it as much as possible."

"Hmm... sounds serious. Well, I was planning paperwork catch-up this morning, but I can put it off. Can you come down with your friend right now? She and I can meet, you can pester the office staff, and then we can go to lunch."

Marianne laughed in turn. "Pester the staff?" she asked.

"They miss you. Good lawyers are hard to find, especially ones that treat the staff like real people with lives. Why don't you come back?"

"Audra now. And my reasons for leaving haven't changed either."

"I understand. I miss you being here as well though."

"Same here, sometimes," Marianne admitted. "We'll be down to the office within the hour Lucy. Don't rush out on us!"

"Never! Kisses."

"Kisses."

Marianne hung up the phone and turned back to Judy. "Are you ready for this?" she asked.

Judy nodded, taking a deep breath to quell her panic over this decision.

"I should warn you, Lucy is a bundle of energy, she'll leave you a little breathless. She is, however, the best divorce lawyer in the city," Marianne soothed.

Judy smiled nervously.

***

Marianne led Judy into the tastefully appointed law office. "Don't worry," Marianne whispered to Judy. "They only look expensive."

Judy smiled nervously as Marianne had the receptionist inform Lucy Morgan of their arrival.

"Go straight in Marianne. You know the way," the receptionist told her with a friendly smile.

Marianne led Judy through the maze of cubicles and offices of the law firm until they arrived at Lucy Morgan's tastefully appointed corner office. It was immediately evident to Judy that Lucy Morgan was a very senior member of the law firm if she was occupying an office such as this.

"Marianne!" Lucy gave her old friend a hug and then she looked curiously a Judy.

"Lucy," Marianne began the introductions. "Meet Judy Grant. Judy, this is Lucy Morgan."

"Lucy, please," Lucy instructed with a kind smile as she reached out to take Judy's hand.

"Judy. I'm pleased to meet you Lucy," Judy said as she returned the surprisingly firm handshake.

"Marianne, why don't you let Lucy and I chat and when we're done, we'll dig you up and go to lunch?" Lucy asked.

Marianne smiled her agreement and gave Judy a comforting squeeze of the arm.

***

Judy was nearly exhausted by the time Lucy had finished questioning and probing. "Marianne is right," Judy thought. "This woman is a bundle of energy."

"Okay Judy, I have all of the basic information. My assistant will file both the summons and the pre-trial orders while we're at lunch. Given the nature of the case, I'm going to try and have a judge issue an ex parte order to forbid your husband to have any contact with you or your children while this is proceeding."

Judy nodded. "How long will this take?" she asked.

"It depends. If we're lucky, I can get a judge to look at the basics today and issue some orders. If the sheriff's office moves quickly, that makes it even easier to get it together."

Judy took a deep breath and smiled her thanks.

"How do you feel?" Lucy asked, compassion showing on her face.

"Scared," Judy admitted.

"That's normal. However, you have a very good friend in Marianne and she'll help you a great deal."

"Marianne has been a god-send," Judy agreed. "I'm worried about what Robert will do. He scares me and I'm very much afraid. I wish my parents were still alive." Judy felt the tears starting to flow.

Lucy reached over and handed her a tissue. "Do you have any other immediate family?" she asked.

Judy shook her head.

"Judy, this is a difficult question to ask, but have you made arrangements for your children?"

"What do you mean?" Judy looked surprised at the question.

Lucy gently took Judy's hand. "If something were to happen to you, one of two things could happen to the children. Either Robert would end up with custody or they could end up in foster care. There are other possibilities, but that would very much depend on family circumstances."

Judy gave her a frightened look. "Do you think that could happen?" she asked.

"It's extremely unlikely, but it is best to be prepared for any situation."

Judy looked wistful for a few moments. "I guess that's not likely," she muttered to herself.

"What's that?" Lucy asked, barely catching what Judy had said.

"I... Well... I'd want Mari and James to look after my children," Judy admitted. "They are such wonderful people, my children deserve as much. Look at the beautiful children they have raised."

Lucy gave her a warm smile. "I envy Marianne her family; they are special. It's just a precaution Judy. We can only ask Marianne and James to consider it."

***

Robert and his lawyer were in his home office discussing their preparations for a possible divorce proceeding when the doorbell rang. Robert cursed and excused himself to answer the door.

"Mister Robert Grant?" asked the young man in the uniform of the sheriff's office.

"Yes?" Robert grunted.

"I have a summons for you under the jurisdiction of the divorce courts." The young man presented a Robert with an envelope. "Consider yourself served," he said formally.

Robert snatched the envelope and slammed the door shut. Stomping back to his office, he flung the envelope at the lawyer. "It didn't take her long," Robert snarled.

Michael Gerrard, Robert's lawyer, opened the letter and began reading. "Whew," he commented, his eyes going a little wide.

"What?" Robert demanded.

"Well, your wife has certainly lined up big guns," Michael told him. "Lucy Morgan is her lawyer."

"Who the fuck is Lucy Morgan?"

"The best divorce lawyer in the city."

"A woman?" Robert looked incredulous.

"Robert, get out of the stone ages for a moment. Lucy Morgan has yet to lose a divorce case and she doesn't take easy ones. She's good. Damn good. We need to get you an experienced divorce lawyer," Michael suggested.

"What the hell am I paying you for?"

"I'm not a divorce lawyer."

"I don't give a damn. I didn't get to where I am by throwing money around. Read up on it and figure it out. How complicated can it be?"

Michael sighed. "Alright, I gave you my advice. It's the best I can do. First thing I have to do is go into court and try to prevent a judge from issuing a restraining order against you."

"A restraining order?" Robert looked surprised.

Michael stared at Robert for a minute. It was obvious to the lawyer that Robert just didn't get it. That he couldn't comprehend what was happening with his wife and that a woman lawyer could be better than any male. "Yes," Michael final told him. "A restraining order. Judy alleges that you are physically and verbally abusive to her and the children. The court acts fast under those accusations."

"It's bullshit! I'm firm, but fair. I'm not abusive!" Robert denied vehemently.

"Robert, I need to know the truth. Have you ever hit Judy?"

"No!" Robert knew he was lying to his lawyer, but he still figured he could pressure Judy into changing her story.

"I see," Michael said, not believing what he was told for a minute.

***

"I have to ask James," Marianne finally got out after Judy and Lucy dropped the bombshell guardianship question on her at lunch. "I'm flattered that you think so highly of us."

"Of course you have to talk to James," Lucy agreed. "This is a precaution only, as you know."

Marianne nodded.

***

"Your Honor, my client contends that Mister Grant is abusive. That he drinks heavily and has verbally and physically assaulted her and her son on a regular basis. My client is willing to undergo an evaluation to verify this claim, but in the meanwhile we think it is prudent that we err on the side of caution," Lucy argued before the judge.

"My client, your Honor, is a respected member of the business community. He has not shown a history of violence and has a clean record. He adores his children and wishes to be able to see them while this situation proceeds," Michael objected.

"Miss Morgan, this is a valid point," the Judge noted.

"Not entirely true, your Honor. Last night, Mister Grant was cautioned by the police after he accosted and threatened an eleven year old girl. The police report indicated that he appeared to be quite inebriated when the officers talked to him and that he was belligerent in his attitude, admitting that he had committed the act, and showed no remorse." Lucy offered the documents and notes on the events by the police to the bailiff.

Michael cursed Robert under his breath as the Judge read the documents.

"Mister Gerrard?" the Judge asked.

"I haven't seen these documents, your Honor," Michael admitted. The bailiff walked the documents to his table and Michael gave them a quick read and found them rather damning. "I'm afraid that I'm not prepared to discuss these. I can only point out that one event does not make a pattern."

"I agree," the Judge noted. "However, Miss Morgan is correct in that it is better to err on the side of caution, especially in light of recent events. I'd suggest, Mister Gerrard, that if you are going to represent your client in this court that you get a much stronger handle on his personal life."

Michael nodded, looking a little embarrassed.

"This court hereby orders that a retraining order be placed on one Robert Grant. He is not to knowingly approach within one mile of the plaintiff or her children without the presence of registered officers of the court for both parties until further notice. As the plaintiff is currently residing elsewhere, he may continue to remain in his primary place of residence, but he must provide an opportunity within the next forty-eight hours for the plaintiff to retrieve items of personal property without his presence.

"In addition, in the interest of verifying the claims before the court, the plaintiff and her children are to undergo medical and psychiatric assessment by competent members of the medical community within seven days. Results of these assessments are to be presented to the court within fourteen days and the conditions of the retraining order will be reviewed at such time. Court is adjourned." The Judge rapped her gavel sharply.

***

"For Christ's sake Robert, why didn't you tell me about last night?" Michael shouted as he met Robert after the session in court.

"What about last night? Nothing happened," Robert asserted, trying to remember what Michael was talking about.

"You don't remember?" Michael looked surprised. "Two cops showed up at your door and warned you about accosting a young girl. How can you not remember that?"

"That thing is not a girl," Robert snarled.

"What do you mean?"

"It used to be a boy."

Michael rolled his eyes. "Robert, it doesn't matter one damn bit. I'm in that court arguing that you're a loving father with no history of violence and this little tidbit of information is sitting in the hands of Lucy Morgan. I have to know these things damn it!"

Robert waved away the issue. "You're a man, she's just some airhead of a woman, deal with it. That's why I pay you a lot of money."

Michael sighed again. "Why am I doing this?" he asked himself. He knew why, of course, Robert paid him a lot of money, more money than he was willing to give up. "Even if it means dealing with a whacked misogynist," Michael thought.

"Well, the judge issued the retraining order," Michael told him, filling him in on the details.

"So?"

"Robert, you have a remarkable head for business, but you are being exceedingly dense in this matter!"

"Don't push your luck," Robert advised with a growl.

"Let me put it this way: if you violate the order, your ass is in jail. Just be very well behaved, follow the instructions, and we'll work at getting this lifted. Alright?" Michael asked.

Robert gave him a sharp nod. "Make sure it happens. I don't want my son in the clutches of that woman much longer. I'm already going to have to undo some of the foolish notions she's put in his head."

Michael bit his tongue to avoid responding.

***

"It's a precaution?" James asked his wife that night.

"Not uncommon, though it usually involves family in this type of proceeding. Unfortunately, Judy doesn't have any immediate family and we've already seen what the Grant family turns out," Marianne told him.

"What do you think?"

Marianne thought for a moment. "Well, it's a hard choice. I'd much rather the two children ended up here than the alternatives," Marianne noted.

James nodded agreement. "It's unlikely to happen and I agree with you. Neither of the likely courses are ones that children should have to face."

"Alright then, I'll have Lucy send the papers and tell Judy our decision." Marianne kissed her husband. "You're a wonderful man you know?"

"Hey, you'll give me a swelled head!"

Chapter 24: Getting Past It

Mike Davidson was quite surprised to find Bobby on the pool deck with Audra, Amy, and Susie. He was even more surprised that they appeared to be getting along okay. "Uh, hey," Mike said as he walked.

"Hey Mike," Audra replied as everyone else echoed.

"What's going on?" asked Mike with a puzzled expression on his face.

"What do you mean?" Audra countered with a sly grin.

"I mean, uh, I don't know!" Mike gave a pointed look at Bobby.

Audra decided to let him off the hook. "Bobby, Amy, and their mom are staying with us for a bit."

"You don't have to tap dance around it," Bobby commented. "Look Mike, I'm sorry. I apologized to Audra too. I was a jerk, a big one just like my father. My parents are splitting up."

Mike sat down, looking a bit surprised at the apology and the information. "Wow, sorry to hear that," he said.

"I'm not," Bobby said as Amy nodded agreement.

Mike's brain finally registered something that his eyes had been telling him since arriving. "Hey, you're wearing a skirt!" Mike exclaimed, looking at Audra.

Audra blushed. "So?" she asked dangerously.

"Uh, nothing. It looks good on you," Mike told her.

Susie leaned over and whispered to Mike, "You're batting zero."

"You think so?" asked Audra as she stood up and twirled.

Mike nodded. "Yeah, it does," he confirmed, hoping that he managed to improve his batting average.

"Thanks." Audra gave him a smile as she sat back down.

"Okay, you're up to five hundred," Susie whispered at him again. Mike rolled his eyes at her as she grinned back.

"Where's the folks?" Mike asked.

"Mom and Judy are at a lawyer's office," Susie told him.

"Can we go swimming?"

***

Ken wasn't amused at being dragged down to the pool, but he relented. "Better than having five kids bugging the hell out of me," he mused as he plopped himself into a deck chair with a book. He watched the kids lay out their towels and put on sunscreen when he noticed that Audra was starting to behave a bit more like Susie and Amy, like she was consciously studying the way the other girls moved.

"I wonder if this is something new," Ken thought. "Sort of like the skirt thing this morning." In a strange way, Ken was pleased that his new sister was beginning to adapt a bit more to her situation. He returned his thoughts to his book as the kids began to play in the pool.

***

Ken looked up as a soggy Audra flopped down into the deck chair beside him. "How's it going slugger?" he asked.

"Okay," Audra admitted, feeling wonderfully tired.

"Can I ask you something?"

Audra nodded.

"Why the skirt this morning?"

"Well, Amy talked me into it," replied Audra defensively. "I was trying to find something that wasn't too girly because of Bobby and she told me to try going all girly. It kind of made sense at the time."

"Why because of Bobby?" asked Ken.

"Well, I just figured it would be easier."

"There's nothing wrong with being a girl," Ken told her.

"Do you want to be one?" Audra demanded.

"Nope, but that has nothing to do with it being good or bad. Audra, you had no more control over it than Susie did."

"I guess so."

"Seriously. Did you think we get to decide these things?" Ken pressed.

"Well, no," admitted Audra.

"Is it getting better?"

"A little, it's not as hard as it was. Am I failing?"

"Failing?" Ken looked surprised.

"Wearing a skirt seemed like giving up. You know, like I didn't want to be a boy anymore. Isn't that failing?" Audra's eyes pleaded with him.

Ken sat back and regarded his sister. "Now I understand it. She sees becoming more of a girl as some sort of failure," he thought to himself.

"You're not a failure," Ken told her. "You're a hero, really. You could have curled up and died, but you fought on."

"But, I gave in."

"No you didn't. You grew up a bit."

"But, Julie says that they could undo this, doctors I mean."

"The best they could do is fake it. Yeah, you could do that, but are you sure that's what you want?" asked Ken.

"I don't know anymore," Audra replied, shrugging helplessly.

"Sounds like you're getting past it."

Chapter 25: Lives Intertwined

"We've made arrangements with Robert to get some of my things," Judy told Marianne the next morning. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you and James are doing for us, especially with the custodial agreement."

"It's okay Judy, we're happy to help," Marianne replied.

"Do you think we should tell the children?"

Marianne shook her head. "No, it would only alarm them and it's just a precaution. Do you want me to come with you today?"

"No," Judy replied. "I need to do this myself."

Marianne placed her hand on Judy's arm. "I understand."

***

"Look Robert, you haven't got a choice here. Just go out and take in a ball game or something," Michael Gerrard suggested.

"It's my damn house, why do I have to be away while she roots about for things?" Robert looked angry.

"Because a Judge said so."

"A damn woman Judge," Robert snarled. "They're all in this together."

"A woman Judge that'll throw you in jail if you don't follow the instructions," Michael reminded him.

"Alright, damn it!" Robert stormed out of the house with Michael following.

"I'll call you on your cell when she leaves," Michael told him.

"Are you staying here?"

"No, Lucy Morgan will call when she's done."

"How long will the bitch be here?"

"A few hours, I'd guess," Michael replied.

"Damn!"

***

By the time Judy arrived at her house, Robert was already in a bar getting completely soused. She was very much relieved that he wasn't there, half-expecting that he would be there defying the orders of the court. As she entered the house, her mind flashed back to a time when she and Robert had been such a loving couple. It had been wonderful, Robert had treated her so well. That began to change, though, with the birth of Amy. Robert was upset that their eldest was a girl. He blamed Judy as though she had anything to do with the decision.

Things did get better when Bobby was born, but that lasted until Bobby began to experiment with Amy's clothes. Robert, again, blamed her. Their relationship went downhill very fast from there. "Oh Robert, why couldn't it have been different," Judy whispered into the empty house.

Slowly, almost painfully, Judy made her way up to the bedroom. She was shocked to see the destruction of some her things, obviously a result of Robert's reaction to her letter. Judy sat on the bed and cried.

***

"Fucking bitch," Robert grumbled at the bartender. "I gave her everything and this is how she repays me."

"That's the way of it man. The women get the gold mine, the men get the shaft," the bartender said in commiseration as he filled up Robert's drink.

"Well, she ain't getting anything from me!"

"That's what I thought when I got divorced," the bartender told him. "Damn courts, though, they give everything to the woman and then they make you pay every month on top of that. The only thing that ends it is death or remarriage."

Robert stared at the bartender blearily. "Yeah," he mused out loud. An idea was germinating in his head. "What do I owe you?" he asked the bartender as he made a sudden decision.

***

After Judy composed herself she decided that it might be easier to pack some things for the children first, so she made her way to Amy's room. As she was packing some of the things that she had seen Amy wear regularly, Judy failed to hear the front door opening.

Robert made his way up the stairs to the bedrooms. He knew that Judy was still there from the van parked in the driveway, but he didn't care. "No woman Judge is going to tell me what to do," Robert muttered as he entered the bedroom. He noticed that the room had been straightened a little, but Judy wasn't in it. He realized that she was in Amy's room from the sounds coming from the hallway.

Robert pulled a wooden box from his closet and sat it on the bed. He opened it to reveal a gleaming Ruger Vaquero revolver lovingly maintained. He drew the pistol and checked that six rounds were loaded in it. His hand stroked the pistol and he whispered at it, "The bitch gets nothing."

***

The four children were sitting in the kitchen when they heard the sirens go by. "You want to go see what's happening?" Bobby asked the group.

The others shrugged and followed Bobby from the house as Marianne smiled assent and went back to watching the midday news.

The children followed the sounds of the sirens as the led towards Bobby and Amy's house. Audra could see that both were getting a little nervous as they got closer. They arrived to find a number of police cars surrounding the Grant house and the area cordoned off. A crowd had already gathered and many of the police had their guns drawn.

Amy spotted the familiar face of Michael Gerrard amidst the police and began running towards the area. "Mister Gerrard!" Amy called out as a police officer grabbed her before she could cross the line. "Mister Gerrard!"

Michael spotted Amy and Bobby in the crowd, closely followed by two girls, and made his way to the barrier. "Amy? You and Bobby shouldn't be here."

"What's going on?" Amy demanded as the police officer released her.

"The police are taking care of it," Michael tried to reassure her.

"Is my mom okay?"

Michael nodded, but he looked worried.

***

"... Hostage-taking drama in the affluent west side," the television announcer said, catching Marianne's attention. She turned to watch the news go live to the scene and was horrified to see it was Judy's house.

"Our understanding, so far, is that the estranged husband of a Missus Judy Grant has taken her hostage," the on-scene reporter explained in the news cast. "We don't have a lot of details, but it appears that Robert Grant, the husband, arrived at the house in spite of a court order and has threatened to kill her if she doesn't turn over their son. The police were notified when Missus Grant had failed to check in with her lawyer and Mister Grant's vehicle was found at the scene."

Marianne didn't wait for any more information as she bolted out of the house after the children.

***

"Mister Grant! I'm Detective Bolton, we have your house surrounded. This is a foolish activity. Come out with your hands in the air and nobody will get hurt," Detective Bolton shouted through the bullhorn.

Robert peaked through the curtains and took another pull from the whiskey bottle before looking at his cowering wife on the sofa. "You stupid bitch," he snarled. "Now the fucking cops are here. What do you think you're doing? You can't survive without me, you're too stupid to make it on your own." Robert smacked her across the face.

Judy attempted to shield herself.

"Well?" Robert demanded.

Judy just shook her head and continued to cry.

"Stop that sniveling," Robert instructed as he waved the pistol at her and drank some more. "It's only pissing me off. Useless thing. You were lucky to have me."

The phone rang and Robert snatched it up. "What?" he demanded into it.

"Mister Grant," Detective Bolton said from the other end of the line. "This is Detective Bolton. We have to talk."

"Talk about what?" Robert asked harshly.

"You're making a mistake. What do you hope to gain?" Bolton asked him.

"Grants don't lose."

"You're losing now Mister Grant and you're only making it worse."

"Fuck you!" Robert shouted into the phone and slammed it back onto the receiver.

Robert turned to look at Judy again. "Death or marriage they tell me," he remarked, almost casually.

Judy looked up in surprise.

"You get everything," Robert shouted. "Unless you're dead or married again!"

Judy shook her head.

"I can't let some pussy look after my son," Robert told her.

"Too late," Judy whispered. Suddenly, she had become very calm. Robert's veiled threats and statements had crystallized for her, she almost welcomed the inevitable end of this encounter.

"What the fuck are you babbling about?" Robert all but shouted.

"You'll never get custody of out children. Never. I've signed guardianship agreements with Marianne and James Wilson." Judy, for the first time in her marriage, had ceased to care what Robert felt or thought.

"The Wilsons? The parents of that thing?!?"

"For the first time, our children might finally find out what real parents are like. Kind, loving parents who will raise them to do the right things and be successful adults." Judy was almost mocking him at this point.

All Robert could see was red.

***

Marianne arrived on the scene as the single, loud, report of a pistol echoed through the neighborhood. The crowd screamed in shock as Marianne desperately looked around for the children.

The police suddenly leapt into action and stormed the house as Marianne spotted the children near the police barrier. She ran to them as Audra and Susie grabbed their two friends and tried to comfort them. As she arrived, she could see Audra holding Bobby in a comforting embrace as he struggled to hold back tears of fear. Amy felt no such restraint and openly wept into Susie arms.

Marianne gathered all four children to her as several more shots rang out in the house and ambulances began arriving. She looked up as the shadow of both Michael Gerrard crossed her vision. "Where?" she asked.

"Grace Hospital," Michael told her. "I wish we could have met again under better circumstances Marianne."

Marianne nodded, still holding the children. "I have to call James," she told him.

"Lucy told me about the arrangement," Michael stated.

Marianne nodded again.

"I tried... he wouldn't listen." Michael gave her a helpless look.

"I know."

***

Marianne arrived at Grace Hospital with the children shortly after James did. "Any word?" she asked her husband.

James shook his head and drew her away from the children. "It's not good. She was shot in the head from close range, but the doctors have to try."

"Robert?"

"He was shot as well, by the police, and may not make it."

Marianne felt the tears leak from her eyes as she looked over at the four children. Audra was still holding Bobby who was struggling to hold in his grief. "Do we tell them?" she asked.

"Wait for now," James suggested. "Lucy is with the doctors."

Marianne nodded.

***

Marianne and James followed Lucy Morgan into the private room. Both had an unreal sense of déjá  vu. It seemed as if entering this room always brought them distressing news. They sat down in the provided chairs.

"James, Marianne," Lucy began and took a deep breath. "Judy didn't make it."

Marianne started to cry as James asked, "Robert?"

"He's touch and go. He's under police guard and will be formally arrested and charged if he wakes up. Doesn't seem likely though."

"The children?" Marianne asked.

"Well, as per the agreement, the children are being turned over to your guardianship pending the trial and any challenges from the Grant family."

"I have to tell them," James stated.

Lucy nodded and went out to fetch the children.

Amy could see it in Jame's face. "No," she whispered.

James took both of them into his arms and looked at them sadly. "I have bad news," he told them.

Amy shook her head wildly. "No!"

"I'm sorry," James whispered at them hoarsely.

"No! Momma!" Amy screamed and leapt from his arms to be caught by Audra who held her tightly. Amy collapsed and wracking sobs could be heard as she clung to her friend.

Bobby sat on James's lap, numb, with tears streaming down his face.

Chapter 26: Aftermath

"We commend unto thy hands of mercy, most merciful Father, the soul of this thy child; and we commit her body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust..."

Audra held Amy close to her as the priest read his final statements. Neither children wanted to attend the funeral of their father. He had died in hospital from his wounds, in spite of the efforts of the staff to save him.

The last couple of days had been hectic. Marianne and James arranged the funeral for Judy and took care of various affairs for the children. Robert had left Bobby as his sole heir, but Michael Gerrard had indicated that he would not fight a challenge to that if it allowed Amy half. The money was placed into trust and stipend was made available to assist in the raising of the children.

Amy and Audra were to share a bedroom, though Susie had offered as well. The two girls had grown exceedingly close over the weeks and had refused to be separated. Susie joked that she had lost her best friend to her sister, but had gotten a sister out of the deal so it was okay.

***

Marianne and James gathered the five children in the family room several weeks after the funeral. He was proudly holding a legal looking document in his hands as he smiled around the room. "Well, I never expected such a large family, but I am happy to have it," he announced.

"It's done?" Ken asked.

"It's done," James affirmed. "Officially, Bobby and Amy are now your brother and sister. Just in time for school too. The court signed the adoption papers today."

"We're sisters now!" Amy hugged Audra.

"Sisters?" Audra asked with a sly grin.

"Sisters! And don't you forget it girl!"

"I think this calls for a party," Marianne noted.

Ken noted Bobby's pained expression. "It's okay sport, you need to celebrate and to mourn. This is what your mom wanted," he said as he grasped Bobby's arm.

"It is?" Bobby asked.

"It is," Marianne told him, interrupting Ken. "We wouldn't have done this if your mother hadn't asked us to. She wants you to grow up the best you can be and she trusted us to help you do that if she couldn't be here. We won't let her down and we won't let you forget her. She loved you Bobby and the least we can do is love you too."

For the first time since the funeral, Bobby began to cry. Marianne took him into her arms and stroked his head softly. "Thank you," Bobby whispered.

"Both of you should know that you are our children now," James added quietly. "You are no different to us than Ken, Susie, or Audra. Welcome home."

"Welcome home," Audra echoed.

Everybody's got someone they call home...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note
I hope this rewrite turned out better for you. I struggled over the decision to do this for a while, but decided to go for it anyways, despite the fact that what was written before is out there and is now a part of history as it were. As I said in the introduction, many people provided amazing feedback on the story and I am grateful. I certainly hope that their input had an impact and that they can feel a part of this story coming about to some degree.

As with the first version, this is not the end. This is a big piece of the story, but not the whole tale. There is a sequel planned and, hopefully, that is a good thing for you! Anyways, look forward to seeing Audra in school for the first time as she continues to struggle with her identity. Speaking of identity struggles, Bobby has his own to consider! It will be, I hope, a wild ride.

For those interested, the lyrics I used come from Roger Water's Radio K.A.O.S. album. Waters is best known as the lead singer and bass player for Pink Floyd before they split up. In particular, the song Home resonates very strongly with me and seemed to fit the development of Audra very well. The very last line in the story is from that song and yes, Sylvester, the tide is turning.

*hugs*

Joanne

What do you say when you miscast a magic spell?

by Joanne Foxcourt

Author's Note

I've written this story under the intention of creating a serial. Each individual story is complete, but the progression of the main character will be the connecting thread between each one. I have no idea how this will work out, but I thought it would be a lot of fun.

The whole idea came to me while reading some of Aesop's tales. As I read them, I started to think of how some of them could be used to create a connecting tale of a young person growing up. There are some timeless lessons in these fables and they would make great vehicles for a serialized story as each individual part of the serial introduced a new fable with a twist. The first is The Ant and the Chrysalis.

This particular story is M rated. Any resemblance to persons living or dead would be surprising since magic doesn't actually exist. However, if it does, it was unintentional so don't put a hex on me. The usual copyright rules apply and if TG fiction is banned in your region, you should consider moving, but the risk of reading it is yours alone. Feel free to publish this on any site that is not for profit. If you would like a particular format, just email me and I'll see what I can do.

Now, on to the story...

Prelude: Aesop's Tale

An Ant nimbly running about in the sunshine in search of food came across a Chrysalis that was very near its time of change. The Chrysalis moved its tail, and thus attracted the attention of the Ant, who then saw for the first time that it was alive. "Poor, pitiable animal!" cried the Ant disdainfully. "What a sad fate is yours! While I can run hither and thither, at my pleasure, and, if I wish, ascend the tallest tree, you lie imprisoned here in your shell, with power only to move a joint or two of your scaly tail." The Chrysalis heard all this, but did not try to make any reply. A few days after, when the Ant passed that way again, nothing but the shell remained. Wondering what had become of its contents, he felt himself suddenly shaded and fanned by the gorgeous wings of a beautiful Butterfly. "Behold in me," said the Butterfly, "your much-pitied friend! Boast now of your powers to run and climb as long as you can get me to listen." So saying, the Butterfly rose in the air, and, borne along and aloft on the summer breeze, was soon lost to the sight of the Ant forever.

Appearances are deceptive.

Chapter 1: Shapes of Things to Come

*fzzt* *crack*

"Damn it!"

*crackle*

"Damn it again!" The young man swore at the rapidly disappearing ball of flame that had previously been dancing on his hand.

"Charles!"

Charles Stewart, the young man, glanced up from his mildly scorched hand and look at his mother. "What?"

"There is no call for foul language," Alison Stewart, his mother, told him with a severe look.

"It's just not working mom! I can keep the fire for a couple of seconds and then it dies. It's driving me crazy!"

Alison sighed and sat beside her son on the bed. The Stewart family had a long, proud, tradition of witchcraft and Charles was but the latest to be initiated into it. The problem was, Charles was impatient. He expected to be tossing spells about within weeks of first learning the basic principles. "Charles, the craft takes time. The more you try to rush it, the harder it will be. I keep telling you this and you keep ignoring me."

"But Julia can keep the fire for as long as she wants!"

"Julia has had more practice and she has learned to control herself better. Listen to me. Witchcraft can be dangerous. Be patient and it will all come in good time."

Charles knew his mother was right, but he couldn't help himself. He watched his sister, Julia, seemingly toss spells about as if they were nothing and he wanted to be able to do it as well. Part of his motivation was his size, odd as that may seem. Charles was a small boy, smaller than average, and he had delicate features. This caused him to endure a lot of teasing at the hands of schoolmates and he looked forward to a means of defending himself.

Alison frowned as she felt his thoughts flitter by. Carefully, she grasped his jaw in her hand and frowned at him. "The craft is not a weapon," she said. "If I find you using it as such, I'll cut you off from the source."

Charles blushed under the fierce gaze.

"I'm serious Charles! The last time the craft was used as weapon, even in defense, the Salem witch trials were spawned. We have to be very careful."

"Okay mom," Charles mumbled. "I promise." Every witch knew about the trials and the effect that it had on their craft. This was in spite of the fact that many of the "witches" were completely innocent. None of the witch folk wanted a reprise of those dark days.

Alison ruffled his hair. "Alright then," she smiled. "Just keep practicing and be patient, it will come." Alison left him to his devices.

Charles watched his mother leave and then began the process of cleansing his mind and calling upon the witch fire. He held his breath as the small flame began to flicker on his palm. One second... Two seconds... Three seconds...

*fzzt*

Charles sighed. "Well, it's a start," he grumbled.

"Not much of one," came the snide commentary from the doorway.

"Buzz off Julia," Charles instructed without looking.

"Just three seconds?" Julia sneered as she wandered in, ignoring his instructions. "I was doing a whole minute within days of learning the basics. What's taking you so long?"

"Just shut up, will ya?"

"At the rate you're going, it'll be decades before you get to try morphing."

"Morphing?" In spite of himself, Charles look intrigued.

"Yeah, changing shape! It's so cool," Julia announced smugly.

"You get to morph?"

"Mom is giving me the first lessons tonight!"

Charles just stared at her trying to keep the jealousy off his face.

"If you keep working at it, little brother, maybe you'll get to morph someday as well. Well, in a century or so!" With that Julia laughed and skipped out of the room.

Charles gritted his teeth in frustration. Ever since he had begun studying magic, Julia had been constantly teasing him, especially about how much further ahead she was. It was a constant reminder to him that in the craft, girls became stronger, faster.

Charles sighed and began concentrating on the fire again.

*****

Julia ran to meet her mother in their workshop in the basement and she was barely able to contain her excitement. Tonight was her first chance to learn really powerful magic. Not the simple magic of conjuring flame or casting simple illusions, but the magic of altering your basic form.

Julia jumped as she felt fur brush against her ankle. She glanced down to see a small kitten purring at her feet. Surprised at an unfamiliar animal in the house, she bent down to pick it up only to have it turn into her mother before her eyes.

"Uh... Wow!"

"Wow, indeed," Alison smiled. "It is impressive and yet, it is dangerous. Sit."

Julia sat as her mother indicated before asking, "How is it dangerous?"

"A true morph, unlike illusion, is a change for the real. You become that which you have pictured and your form wants to stay in that shape. Because of this, it is imperative that you prepare the spell and your return carefully or you may remain that way forever."

Julia shuddered. "You mean, you could have been a kitten forever?" she asked.

"Well, for as long as cat would live, yes. However, I prepared my spell to prevent it. The key to finding your way back is to make it a part of the spell. In most cases, we use time, but sometimes other triggers may be used. You already know how to time limit your spells, so that will suffice for now. I've placed a minor spell on you that will not allow you to cast a morph for more than fifteen minutes. Once you've become competent in the spell, then I'll lift the restriction."

Julia nodded her agreement with that.

"The other thing you must learn is that the more complex the form, the harder it is to cast the spell and the greater the risk of being stuck in the process regardless of the protection you cast."

Julia's eyes widened.

"Yes dear, it is dangerous, but not if you're careful. Besides, being a cat can be fun!" Alison gave her daughter a reassuring grin.

*****

Charles silently crept down the stairs of the basement. While he hadn't managed to keep witch fire burning very well, he had managed to learn how to cloak his noises when he walked. Even his mother was unaware how good at that little lesson he was.

Charles grinned to himself as he took up a position near a vent to the workroom and began to eavesdrop. "Besides, being a cat can be fun!" came his mother's voice through the ventilation system. Charles rubbed his hands together as he grinned widely.

*****

"The first key to beginning the morph is to visualize the shape that you want. You must do this clearly and distinctly in your mind. Try to visualize a kitten now," Alison instructed Julia.

Julia concentrated on the shape of the kitten she had seen her mother use.

"Not bad," Alison murmured as she listened in on Julia's thoughts. "Make the tail a little shorter and the paws a little bigger."

Julia complied, altering her vision accordingly.

"Now, beside that image of the kitten, picture yourself."

Julia complied.

"Honey, you aren't that well endowed."

Julia blushed and altered her self-image.

"Don't be so self-conscious, everything comes in time," Alison told her.

Julia's brows furrowed as she fought to hold the images.

"Now, project the image of yourself into the kitten. When you cast the spell, I want you to limit your time to five minutes."

"Five? I thought you said fifteen!"

"Fifteen is the upper limit, but five minutes is sufficient for now. Believe me Julia, you will be very, very tired after this. You need to learn to use such power over time and using it requires a great deal of strength."

Sighing agreement, Julia reached out with her mind and drew upon the energy from the lines of force surrounding their house. She could feel the flow of magical energy enter her body and seek an outlet.

"Repeat after me," Alison instructed and proceeded to softly chant the Latin-sounding words of the spell which, without the connection to the ley lines, would do nothing to her.

Julia concentrated and repeated the words a little more slowly and carefully. As she neared the end of the spell, she could feel the energy infuse her body and create a tingling sensation throughout. With the last words, she felt her body flow and shift and she let out a startled mew.

Alison laughed and then clapped her hands. "Wonderful!" She reached down and picked up the kitten that was her daughter and scratched between her ears. In spite of herself, Julia began a tired purr.

*****

"That doesn't sound too hard," Charles told himself as he concentrated on memorizing the words of the spell. "Being a cat sounds a little boring though. I want to do something a little more interesting."

Charles grinned excitedly as he silently slipped back upstairs to the main portion of the house. Already, his mind was turning over neat and interesting ways that he could apply the spell that his mother and sister had inadvertently taught him. Tired, yet full of excitement, Charles fell into a fitful sleep dreaming of all of the pranks that he could pull with this skill.

Chapter 2: Best Laid Plans of Mice and Not-quite Men

When Charles woke in the morning, his mind was still awhirl with the possibilities of the morph. However, he realized that he needed to shield his conscious thoughts better or his mother would see that he had eavesdropped last night. Sitting on his bed, legs crossed, Charles pictured a black dome closing over his mind as he drew upon the ley lines and made the spell happen. "It's a good thing that shielding is the first thing they teach you," Charles grinned to himself. "Even better that I can actually do it."

Feeling sufficiently prepared, Charles made himself ready for school. Alison frowned as she sensed his shields when he entered the kitchen. While she suspected that Charles was up to something, she tried to respect the privacy of her children as much as possible and so avoided probing him. "He's probably got some prank planned for his sister or something," Alison decided.

*****

Charles spent the entire day at school anxiously awaiting the final bell. He had had to be reprimanded by several of his teachers for failing to pay attention, so it was with relief that bell rang and he was able to bolt from the school. As soon as he got home, he dropped his books by the door and ran up to his bedroom. Hands shaking, Charles sat himself on the floor and took several deep breaths. Feeling calmer, he decided that the first thing to try was the same thing his mother had Julia try. Carefully, he envisioned a black cat side by side with himself. Drawing upon the ley lines, he pictured his image merging into that of the cat and chanted the words of the spell.

Charles jumped as his perspective in the room changed. "Oh wow!" he thought. "This is incredible!" He began exploring his room finding that he could leap onto narrow places and keep his balance. Fortunately for him, he was back on the floor when the timer on the spell eventually expired.

Despite his sudden exhaustion, Charles did a dance of joy around his room chanting, "I did it! I did it!"

"Did what doofus? Keep the fire going for five seconds now?" Julia asked from the doorway.

Charles just smirked at her.

Julia, deciding that she wasn't going to get a rise out of him, just shrugged and walked away.

Charles had to admit, however, that Julia had raised a point. Just how, exactly, was he able to do the morph spell when he couldn't keep witch fire going for more than a couple of seconds? "Oh well, why complain? This is much more fun then playing with little flames!" Charles grinned.

Despite being tempted to play with his newfound ability some more, Charles decided it was best to leave it alone and do his homework. Besides, he was feeling really tired after that last spell. As he tried to concentrate on his work, his mind kept wandering back to possibilities. Suddenly, with a massive grin, he sat up from his desk. "Perfect!" he almost shouted. Glancing about, with a guilty look, he clamped his hand over his mouth. "I've got to keep this in check, Mom would kill me!"

*****

The next day, at school, Charles carefully monitored the girl's change room at the swimming pool. He figured that he'd would put a five minute spell on himself and then pretend that he was looking for somebody and wander into the room as the swim practice ended. "Hee hee," he chortled to himself. "This is going to be so cool! If I look like a girl, they won't be suspicious. Besides, I've always wanted to see Mary Deckert in the buff." For years, Charles had held a secret crush for Mary, but she just wasn't interested in him.

Ignoring his twinge of conscience, Charles formed the image of a pretty teenaged girl in his mind. He had his ideal girl all picked out, honed from years of imagination and a myriad of sketches. She was shorter than him, but not too short. She had long, black hair and a delightfully cute face with a small button nose and large, almost luminous eyes. Charles had the soul of an artist; his vision was proportionally endowed, not too small, and not too big. She had well-toned legs without being muscular. Charles mentally sighed to himself as he examined the image he formed. Perfect, he decided. Quickly, he formed an image of himself. Unlike yesterday, he settled on a half-hour for the spell and drew upon the lines of force. He stumbled, briefly, over the words of the spell but shrugged it off as he felt the change happening.

This time, he could feel himself changing shape much more slowly. His chest grew heavy, his hair lengthened, and his butt felt like it was getting wider. As the spell completed, Charles examined himself and realized that his clothes hadn't changed. "Oh shit!" he swore out loud. "How the hell am I going to do this?" His pants felt uncomfortably tight in odd places and his new breasts moved freely under his shirt making him feel very self-conscious. Charles started to panic a bit, suddenly afraid of being caught dressed as he was. He decided that the best course of action would be to get home as fast as possible and wait for the spell to end.

By the time he got home, he was a nervous wreck from hiding and dodging various people and keeping his shoes on his feet. Finally, he made it to his bedroom and collapsed with his back against the door. To ease the pressure of his jeans, once he had brought his heartbeat under control, he shucked them and climbed into a pair of track pants. Despite a rare opportunity to see a girl in the nude, Charles was more interested in changing back and revising his plans for the next time.

Mentally, Charles checked the Wheel of Time, a mystical clock that all witches had access to, to see how much time was left on the spell. "Whew, less than a minute now," he sighed in relief. Patiently, he waited for the spell to end while reading one of his many comic books. By the time he reached the end of the comic book, he realized that the spell hadn't ended.

****

Julia jumped at the shriek that came from her brother's room as she entered the house. "What the hell was that?" she muttered as she ran up the stairs and burst into his room.

"Who the hell are you?" Julia demanded of the girl crying on Charles' bed.

"Julia..."

"Do I know you? Oh my God! Charles!"

Charles nodded, trying to dry his eyes with his hand. The pretty, delicate, hands that he now possessed from his failed spell casting.

"What happened?" Julia demanded, suddenly very concerned. "Is this an illusion?"

Charles hiccupped and shook his head. "No. I eavesdropped on you and Mom the other night."

"You morphed!"

"Yeah. I put a half-hour time limit on it, but I haven't changed back." Charles started to cry again.

Julia held her morphed brother as she realized the implications of what he had done. "You must have missed the first part of the lesson," she said.

"The first part?"

"The part where Mom told me that the more complex the morph, the more likely you are to make mistakes and the harder it can be to return back."

The shock of that stopped Charles' crying mid-stream. "You're joking!"

Julia pulled away slightly and stared into her brother's face. "I'm dead serious," she told him without a hint of her usual acidity.

"I'm not very good at this yet," Charles admitted. "Maybe you're powerful enough to change me back?"

"I don't know how."

Charles slumped.

"You know what that means?" Julia asked.

"What?"

"Mom will have to try."

"Oh God!" Charles looked panicked.

"What else are we going to do? You can't change back and maybe Mom knows how."

"I guess..."

"On the bright side," Julia mentioned. "You're gorgeous. Who is she?"

"Nobody," Charles mumbled. "She was my dream girl."

Julia couldn't help herself; she started laughing.

"It's not funny!"

"Sorry, bro, um, sis!" Julia giggled.

Charles stood up and stamped his foot. "I'm serious! It's not funny." He placed his hands on his hips and glared at Julia.

With an effort, Julia brought herself under control. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that you have such a great imagination and the way you're standing is, well, too perfect."

Charles sighed and then giggled himself as he realized that he was standing in the classic pose of a teenaged girl in a snit. "Okay. Are you sure Mom can help?"

Julia shrugged. "She isn't going to be happy though."

Charles nodded.

Chapter 3: First Alterations

"Mom?"

"Yes Julia?" Alison asked as she prepared the roast for the oven.

"We have a small problem..."

Alison turned and regarded her daughter. "Oh?"

Julia beckoned at the doorway and then shoved a petite teenage girl into the kitchen. She was quite the pretty girl, Alison was thinking, but she needs to lose the boyish clothes.

"She would be the problem," Julia noted.

"Huh?" Alison looked at the girl more closely. She sent a mental probe at the girl and ran into rock solid shields.

"Mom..." Charles said as he felt the probe.

"Charles! What the hell have you done?" Alison eyes widened as she suddenly realized the problem.

"I..." Charles looked around hopelessly, tears forming in his eyes. "I didn't know. I just wanted to play a prank and I..."

"Oh baby!" Alison gathered her "son" into her arms. "You just couldn't wait, could you?" She could feel Charles shake his head against her. "Did Julia teach you this?" She glared towards her daughter.

"No," Charles admitted. "I spied on you when you were teaching it to her. I guess I missed some stuff."

Alison wiped his tears away. "I guess you did. Did Julia tell you what this might mean?"

Charles nodded. "Can you help me?"

Based on the strength of the shields she had just encountered, Alison didn't think so. Somehow, with this gender change, Charles had become significantly more powerful as a witch. "I can try," she told him anyways.

Charles looked hopeful. "What if you can't?" he said as he worried his lower lip.

Alison sighed as she sat down at the table. "Then we'll think of something."

*****

"Sit in front of me Charles," Alison instructed as Charles joined her in the basement. "This is going to be very difficult. I need you to drop your shields and then visualize yourself."

Charles sat and allowed his shields to drop.

"Charles!" Alison looked shocked.

"What?"

"I can't believe that you did this for that purpose. I'm not very pleased."

Charles blushed. "I'm sorry, I didn't think..."

"I'm tempted to not even try to change you back, just to teach you a lesson!"

"Please Mom! I'm sorry! I really am."

Alison sighed. "I said I'll try and I will. Now form your image."

Charles concentrated on forming the image of his real self and resisted the urge to add height and weight to it. He felt his mother's mind link to his as she began to draw on the magical energy in the earth. He closed his eyes and patiently waited for the feeling of change as she chanted. And he waited.

"Nothing," Charles said, slumping.

"Not entirely," Alison said.

Charles looked up at his mother. He could tell she was exhausted from the effort, the strain showing on her pale face. "Not entirely?"

"I've managed to adjust the spell, somewhat, but it will require an effort on your part."

"What do you mean?"

"I read your mind for the exact wording you used and saw that the mistake you made forced this form to become your primary one. If you concentrate, and maintain it, then you can take your original form. However, if your concentration fails you'll revert. It will also be very tiring. Try it."

Charles concentrated on his original form and felt himself change. He could feel himself sweating at the effort and struggled to maintain his form. After a few moments, he relaxed his effort and felt himself change back into a girl. He was just too tired from the day to keep it up.

"Hard, isn't it?" Alison asked.

"What about using the morph to change back?" Charles asked as he nodded agreement.

"You would have to stumble in exactly the same way for it to work and that is nearly impossible. One slight difference in the casting and you will fail. You might also find yourself stuck in an even worse situation trying to fake an error."

Charles shook his head and blinked back tears. "What now?"

"I don't know," Alison admitted. "I need to talk to your grandmother to see if she has any ideas. In the meanwhile, I've put blocks in place to prevent you from casting the morph again."

Charles nodded, not surprised that his mother was blocking him from the spell. "Can grandma help?" he asked.

"Maybe," Alison cautioned. "Julia has prepared some clothing for you, just in case, so why don't you go see her?"

Charles looked reluctant.

"I've warned her, she'll be gentle. Besides, you wouldn't be able to keep the concentration up in your sleep. Now go see Julia, I'm very tired and I still need to talk to your grandmother."

*****

*Alison?* Abigail Williamson sounded startled at the mental contact from her daughter. Normally they just chatted on the phone.

*Yes Mother,* Alison mentally sent as she gathered her strength.

*What's wrong dear?* Abigail asked, sensing the fear and concern over the link.

Alison quickly filled her mother in on the events of the day. *What do we do Mother?*

Abigail sighed and put aside her knitting as she thought about it. *If you couldn't change him back completely, then he is probably stuck for the most part.*

*The school is expecting Charles Stewart tomorrow, not, um, Charlene Stewart or whatever. His ability to concentrate is weak, he won't be able to retain his form in school and still work.*

*Charlene?* Abigail chuckled.

*It just came to me,* Alison admitted with a chuckle of her own.

*The coven can deal with that I think,* Abigail assured her. *We might be able to further modify the spell.*

*What do you mean?*

*Perhaps we can move the change to female to some form of trigger. I don't know, but we can try. Keep Charles home from school tomorrow, we'll see what we can do.*

*Alright mother, I'll do that.*

*Good. This should be a valuable lesson for young Charles. Imagine using the power to sneak into a girl's change room!*

*I'm amazed that he could even cast the spell though,* Alison admitted. *He's been struggling to keep witch fire going.*

*The morph requires imagination, not continuous effort. Charles has an incredible imagination, it's the artist in him. He lacks concentration for directed will, which is what something like witch fire requires.*

*Hmm... Very true.*

*Get some sleep Alison. Goodnight dear,* Abigail said.

*Goodnight mother.*

*****

"Why do I have to wear a nightgown?" Charles' newly feminized voice came floating down from the top floor of the house as Alison dragged herself up the stairs.

"Because I don't have anything else and your pajamas won't fit you!" Julia sounded frustrated and Alison could almost picture her standing with clenched fists on her hips.

"I could wear these track pants..."

"Wear the track pants," Alison said from the doorway. "You'll learn, quickly, that they aren't the most comfortable for sleeping."

"Thanks mom," Charles sighed in relief.

"But, mom!" Julia protested, looking disappointed.

"Julia, I realize that you're dying to teach your brother a few lessons here, but I'm too tired for the argument. Let it rest."

Julia pouted and sniffed.

"What did grandma say?" Charles asked.

Alison plopped down on the bed and briefly closed her eyes. "She'll be by with the coven tomorrow," she informed them. "I don't think you'll be able to maintain enough concentration to hold your form Charles, so she wants to try other options. So, tomorrow, you stay home sick."

"Can she fix it?"

Alison shook her head. "She doesn't think so. She does, however, think she can alter the trigger. Now, I'm going to bed and so should the both of you. It will be a long day tomorrow."

Chapter 4: Gaea Has Mercy, Sort Of.

Charles woke in the morning feeling better rested. His new form still felt very weird as he sat up and felt his breasts shift under the t-shirt. He also felt all hot and sticky from sweating in his track pants all night, but he refused to admit that they were uncomfortable to sleep in.

Experimentally, Charles concentrated on his original form and felt his body flow into shape. "Whew," he thought. "This wasn't too hard. Maybe sleep helps." While he had to consciously think about his shape, it didn't seem as great a strain as the night before. Feeling a little better, he bounced himself out of bed and made a dash for the bathroom before Julia could beat him to it.

"Damn it!" Julia cursed as the bathroom door closed in front of her. Charles laughed from the inside and she was surprised to hear his voice. "Did you change back overnight?" Julia called through the door.

"No," Charles replied. "I'm just concentrating."

"Well, hurry up then. I have to go to school you know!"

Charles didn't answer as he peeled off the slightly damp track pants and t-shirt. He smiled at himself in the mirror and then checked to make sure all the parts appeared to be there. "Well, it seems to work," he muttered as he turned on the shower and climbed in. The hot spray of the water relaxed him and he felt his concentration slipping and his form wavered back to female.

"Ouch!" he shouted as the water suddenly felt too hot for his more sensitive skin. He could hear Julia giggling outside the bathroom at his feminine shout as he quickly adjusted the water temperature.

Charles was surprised at how his new body felt in the shower, but he was too upset at losing his concentration to become preoccupied with it. As quickly as he could, he finished his shower and climbed out. He was only half way through drying off when Julia decided to barge in anyways.

"It's about time!" Julia announced.

"Hey!"

"Relax sister, I've seen your equipment before," Julia grinned. "Besides, you probably need some help."

Charles just muttered under his breath as Julia showed him how to wrap his hair.

"Mom's waiting for you," Julia told him as he wrapped himself in a bath towel and picked up his discarded clothing.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Go find out."

Charles shrugged and went back to his bedroom. He found his mother waiting with some of Julia's old clothing. "Uh, I can just wear these," he said, holding up the track pants.

"No you can't, I can smell them from here. Besides, some parts of you need support."

"But girl's clothes?"

"Charles, in case you haven't noticed, you're currently a girl."

"Not for long!" he protested.

Alison shrugged. "That remains to be seen. For now, you need to get dressed and I'm here to help. These are just jeans and a t-shirt, besides the bra and panties. Nothing too feminine. I'm not going to force makeup on you or anything."

Charles sighed and capitulated. The bra felt uncomfortable, but Alison adjusted the straps and repositioned the cup so that it felt a bit better. "It's not quite the right size," Alison noted. "We'll probably have to go shopping."

"Shopping?" Charles whined, already uncomfortable with the whole bra process.

"Stop whining. I think we can expect that you'll be spending some of your time in a female shape, so it's better if you have some of your own things."

Charles didn't look convinced, but let it pass as he dressed in the remainder of the clothing.

"Let me guess," Alison commented as he unwrapped his hair from the towel. "You just lathered on shampoo and didn't think about tangles?"

Charles nodded.

"Washing long hair is a delicate process. Well, I'll help you detangle." Alison grabbed a comb from his dresser and sat him in a chair. He yelped a few times as she had to pull through some of the nastier tangles, but eventually it was combed out. "There," Alison announced as Julia entered the room.

"Wow, you look great," Julia said.

Charles blushed. "I'd rather look like me."

"Yeah, well, if you have to be a girl, it's better to be a pretty one. Boys prefer pretty girls."

"Julia!" Charles looked shocked.

"Julia, don't you think you should be getting off to school?" Alison asked, heading off the brewing argument.

"Okay mom," Julia said. "Later sis!" Her giggles could be heard all the way down the hall.

*****

"Hi grandma," Charles said as he opened the door.

"Hmm... Yes, quite pretty. You certainly make up for your lack of common sense with your imagination," Abigail commented as she hugged and kissed her grandson.

"I'm sorry grandma," Charles said, having the grace to blush.

"Well, you'd hardly be the first witch to mess up. Don't feel too bad. Are the others here?"

"Yes ma'am. They're already in the work room."

"Good," Abigail smiled. "Well, don't dawdle girl. Let's get started."

*****

Charles tried not to blush as he sat, naked, in the middle of the circle of elder witches. He'd protested losing his clothes, but got overruled by the coven. Besides, as one of the witches pointed out, he had nothing they hadn't seen regardless of his gender. "Which is true," Charles mused. "I think I've been babysat and spanked by everyone here." Charles tried to ignore his far too prominent breasts that we're feeling quite chilly and reacting accordingly.

The witches began their chants around him and he found it impossible to follow the words. He could feel them drawing on the ley lines, their house sat on a junction, but he couldn't see what they were doing. As the chanting progressed, he could feel his body tingling and changing. "It's working!" he told himself, feeling massive relief.

The chanting stopped. The witches surrounding him look tired, but his grandmother gave him a smile of encouragement.

"It's close," Alison murmured.

"As we expected," Abigail agreed.

"What do you mean?" Charles asked. "I'm back to normal! It must have worked."

"Not exactly," Abigail maintained. "You're male, but things can trigger a change back to female and vice-versa. The only problem is, we don't know what they are."

"I don't understand," Charles admitted.

"It's simple," Elaine Jacobs, a senior member of the coven told him. "There are things that can happen that will cause you to change your gender. It could be a word, an event, something you see. We don't know and it will be different each time."

"Each time? That would mean I would change back at some point."

"Only if you found the appropriate reverse trigger," Alison said. "If you didn't find the trigger, then you would stay in female form."

"Another thing," Abigail interrupted. "If you enter menses as a female, you'll remain for the full cycle. If you get pregnant, then you will remain female until the child is weaned."

"Pregnant!" Charles exclaimed, his eyes widening. "I'm not going to get pregnant! That would mean sleeping with a boy. Not going to happen." Charles shook his head side to side, his lips pressed firmly together.

"It is only a warning," Abigail said. "You will, when you are female, find that you have female drives and urges. The Mother of Us All is, after all, a mother."

Charles looked a little sick.

"Gaea is watching over you Charles," Elaine told him as she finally stood up. "She allowed us to modify the spell, but only so much. She desires you to see the female side, to what end we don't know. Your path to return from a trigger will be a puzzle, but it will be related to the trigger. Solve the puzzle and you will return."

"How will I know what is the trigger?"

Elaine shrugged. "That's for you to figure out."

"What if I change in class?"

"The spell will alter perception, people will just continue if nothing has changed. Of course, if you are in the middle of something that the opposite gender wouldn't be doing, then it will still be very awkward."

"I'm not feeling reassured," Charles said.

"Next time, wait for me to teach you," Alison told him as she shook her finger. "You're actually kind of lucky that Gaea is even giving you this chance. You have only yourself to blame."

"Yes mom," Charles mumbled.

Chapter 5: Trigger Unhappy

"Well, now I know what pins and needles are like," Charles thought as he made his way into the school. Every time he heard a voice or somebody looked his way, he flinched.

"I've gotta get over this," Charles muttered as he opened his locker.

"Hey, Chuck! Where were you yesterday?" David Ames, Charles' best friend asked as he sauntered up to the row of lockers.

"I wasn't feeling too good. Something I ate I guess," Charles lied.

"Julia was weirder than usual yesterday. When I asked he where you were, she just started laughing at me."

"She's a girl, what can I say?"

"Yeah, I guess. Sue was looking for you too." Dave was grinning at him. Sue Brown was very interested in Charles but, because she was rather ordinary looking, Charles wasn't interested.

"Will you lay off," Charles grumbled. "Sue's nice, but I'm not interested."

"You've got to get over Mary Deckert. Yeah, she's hot, but she doesn't even know that you're alive. Even if she did, she'd look at you like a bug. Come on man, she's a total snob. Sue likes you and she's a really nice person."

"You know what they say about nice girls..."

"Don't be an idiot," Dave told him.

Charles shrugged and closed his locker. "Look, she doesn't interest me. Aim high is my motto."

"Sleep alone goes along with that motto."

Charles rolled his eyes.

*****

"Hey Charles! Wait up!" Sue Brown called from behind as she rushed to catch up with him on the way to lunch. "Are you feeling better?" she asked.

"Yeah," Charles managed to grunt out.

"What are you doing for lunch? Mind if I join you?"

Charles wanted to say no, but he didn't have the heart. "Sure, okay," he said, regretting it since it would prevent him from trying to ask Mary to the upcoming dance.

"Cool."

Sue followed him into the lunch room smiling and joined him at the table. She was feeling a little nervous. She really wanted Charles to ask her to the upcoming dance. "He's too shy," she had convinced herself in spite of the evidence. "If you want to go with him, you have to ask him yourself." Sue had been fighting the mental battle over asking him for a week.

As they ate their lunch, Charles glanced around the room trying to spot Mary. Finally, he saw her in a middle of a group of friends. He wanted to ask her to the dance, but sitting with Sue, he felt obligated to wait.

"So, Charles. Do you have a date for the dance?" Sue fished for information.

"Uh, no. Not yet anyways," Charles admitted and then kicked himself.

"Me neither," Sue said as her eyes brightened. "I was wondering if you would, um, like to, you know, go to the dance with me?" Sue held her breath.

Charles, caught a little by surprise looked at her for the first time since they started eating. His mind kept comparing her to Mary and he mentally made the rejection. "I, um. Wow. I," Charles stumbled initially. "I'm flattered, but..."

Charles trailed off as he felt the tingling of magic cross his body. "Not now!" he shouted mentally, to no avail as his body shifted form to female.

"... but I don't think I'll be going to the dance," she finished saying to David Ames.

"What?" Charles shouted at himself. "Did Dave just ask me to the dance?" Dave nodded and gave her a dejected smile as he walked away from the table. Charles shook himself and felt his breasts shift under his blouse.

"He's a nice guy, Charlene," Sue told her as Dave walked away.

Charlene nodded. "Charlene?" Charles asked himself. "Charlene? I guess that's me."

"It's not that I think he isn't nice," Charlene said. "I'm just not interested, he just kind of plain and dull."

"The jocks are lame Char. All they want is to get into your panties," Sue added.

Charlene nodded again. "What's going on," Charles thought to himself. "Now why was Dave asking me out to the dance?"

"Earth to Char. Come in Char." Sue waved her hand under Charlene's nose.

"Huh?" Charlene returned a semi-dazed look.

"You look kind of out of it. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Now that you mention it, I don't feel that good."

"Why don't you call your mom and go home? I'll get your homework."

"Yeah," Charlene muttered. "I think I'll do that."

*****

"What was the trigger?" Alison asked as she picked up her daughter, formerly her son, at the school.

"I don't know mom," Charlene admitted. "I was talking with Sue and then, all of a sudden, I was Charlene."

"Charlene?" Alison looked surprised.

"Yeah, Charlene. At least that's what people seem to call me."

Alison laughed.

"What's so funny?" Charlene demanded.

"I jokingly called you that when I first talked to your grandmother. It looks as if Mother Gaea has a sense of humor."

"Yeah, my funny bone is going nuts."

"Well, Charlene, until we figure out the trigger, you're stuck. That poses a bit of a problem."

"No kidding," Charlene said.

"Well, in this case it's clothing. I was right that you would need girl's clothing. It seems that the spell takes care of what you're wearing, but not what you have in the closet. I checked before I picked you up."

"Oh Goddess!"

"Don't take Gaea's name in vain!" Alison favored her with a stern look.

"Sorry."

"Just remember, the power of the witch stems from Gaea. If you anger her, you could find yourself without power."

"I said I was sorry."

"You have to mean it Charles, I mean Charlene. Oh hell, this is going to take getting used to."

"You're telling me."

"Well, let's go shopping."

Chapter 6: Making Over Charlene

"You've got to be kidding!"

"No Charlene, I'm not. You need this stuff whether you believe it or not," Alison insisted.

"Makeup? Why do I need makeup?" Charlene grumbled.

"Because, sweetie, you're a teenage girl and teenage girls wear makeup."

"Not all of them," Charlene insisted.

"If you want to fit in..."

"You're going to insist aren't you?"

"You know Charlene," Alison said with a thoughtful look. "This is a great opportunity for you to learn about the other side of the fence."

"I'd rather not."

"Yes," Alison mused, not really paying any attention. "This is a good learning opportunity."

"Mother, are you paying attention at all?"

"No, I'm not. I've decided, young lady, that you will become a young lady until the reversal trigger is found. That's final."

Charlene sighed and threw up her hands.

"This will be good for you Charles," Alison said, deliberately using her male name.

"I'll take your word for it mother."

*****

"Okay dear, if you would remove your top and bra, I'll measure you for the fitting."

Charlene blushed. "Do we really need to do that?" she asked.

The saleslady gave her a strange look. "It's essential to the proper fit. Don't be shy, it's only us here."

Blushing, Charlene removed her top and bra and crossed her arms uncertainly.

"Stand up straight dear." The saleslady quickly took some measurements around the bust and across her chest before ducking out of the booth. Charlene looked around at a loss over what to do in the meanwhile.

"Here we go," said the saleslady as she popped back into the booth. "This is a 32B, let's try it on and adjust it."

Charlene fumbled with the bra, not really sure about the best way to put it on. She tried to ignore the strange looks that the saleslady kept giving her as she finally managed to get the bra on and reasonably adjusted.

As soon as it was clasped, the saleslady began adjusting the straps and testing the fit. Charlene stood there trying not to blush furiously. When the lady had finished the adjustments, Charlene admitted to herself that it was a lot more comfortable than what she had been wearing.

"How does it feel?" the saleslady asked.

"Great," Charlene replied, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice.

"A professional fitting is always best for comfort. Your mother said that you needed at least seven new bras, so why don't you take that one off and I'll get some more in different colors and designs for a fitting."

"Okay," Charlene said, resigned to standing around half-naked in a store for a while longer.

By the time they were done, Charlene had acquired enough bras and panties to last a week. "It seems a little excessive for a short duration," Charlene commented.

Alison shrugged. "Who knows how long it will take," she commented. "Best to have enough to see you through a week. You may have to get a part-time job though. I can't afford to buy for two girls and a boy on a regular basis."

"Uh... What about my lessons?" Charlene looked desperate to avoid the job possibility, especially as a girl.

"We'll see. In the meanwhile, we still need to get you more clothing and then I'll spring for a real treat."

"Treat?"

"You'll see." Alison gave her a mysterious smile.

"Why do I feel nervous?"

"Because you're a silly girl."

*****

"I was right, I should have felt nervous."

"Oh come on," Alison said. "This is a wonderful experience. It's so relaxing."

"I agreed to buy that dress on the assumption that this was a treat I would enjoy!" Charlene looked grumpy. Her mother had found this dressed that she simply wanted Charlene to have. From a rational standpoint, Charlene had admitted that the dress looked fabulous on her. From an emotional standpoint, it was, well, a dress. She only agreed to it on the promise of the "treat" after they were done.

"Listen missy, you don't know what you're talking about. A full spa treatment and makeover is a lot of fun and so very relaxing. I'll tell you what, if you don't find it relaxing and pleasant, honestly, I'll buy you that video game console you've desperately wanted."

Charlene weighed her options. She knew that there was no way to lie to her mother, so that was out. "Oh well," she thought. "What have I got to lose?"

"Well?" Alison asked.

"Okay, it's a deal."

*****

"Ears pierced? Mom, only gay guys get their ears pierced!"

"Honey," Alison said, trying to look patient. "In case you missed it, you're neither gay nor a guy."

"But..."

"Let her pierce your ears. Do you know any girls without pierced ears?"

"No, but..."

"So, let's keep you from looking weird at school."

Charlene capitulated.

"Diamond studs," Alison instructed the girl with the piercing gun.

The girl prepared that gun and carefully marked Charlene's ears where the holes would go. Within a minute, Charlene was sporting a diamond stud in each ear and was more surprised that it didn't really hurt.

"Now, remember to rotate the studs frequently and apply an alcohol solution to them at least twice a day. Okay?" the girl asked.

Charlene nodded.

"You can change earrings in about six weeks or so," the girl added. "That'll give you plenty of time to shop around for some new earring styles."

*****

"You have an autumn complexion," the beautician noted as she sorted various colors of makeup on a tray.

As before, Charlene had resisted the makeup experience, but Alison had insisted.

"Autumn?" Charlene asked, confused by the discussion.

"The darker, more rich, colors suit you better."

"Ah." Charlene decided it was better to remain silent as the beautician went to work. She made facial contortions as directed.

"Done!" the beautician announced after what seemed like hours. "So?"

Charlene looked at the image of herself in the mirror and had to admit that she looked very good. "In fact, if I was Charles right now, I'd be drooling!" she admitted privately.

"Wow," Charlene agreed.

"You're a very pretty girl, the cosmetics only enhance it."

Alison whistled as she walked into the booth. "Amazing," she announced.

Charlene looked uncomfortable as the beautician beamed.

"We'll take a selection of what you used plus any additional colors that you think would be suitable," Alison decided.

"Mom!"

"Hush Charlene, these are perfect for you."

Charlene just glared.

Chapter 7: Getting In the In.

"Whoa, who's the babe?" Julia whistled as Charlene and Alison returned home.

"Very funny Julia," Charlene grumbled.

"Take a chill pill sis," Julia advised. "I kind of figured something had happened when I heard that my 'sister' had turned down David Ames for the big dance. Have you figured out the trigger yet?"

Charlene shook her head, looking miserable.

"It happened in the middle of lunch," Alison noted. "I picked her up and we went shopping for a few things, so we didn't have a chance to go over the events."

"What happened Charlene?" Julia asked.

"How did you know it was Charlene?" Charlene asked.

Julia shrugged. "Part of the magic I think. Everyone knows you as Charlene now. You're dodging the question."

Charlene plunked herself into a chair at the kitchen table. "Sue Brown asked me out to the dance. I started answering her, trying to turn her down nice, when I felt the tingling. Next thing you know, I'm telling Dave that I wasn't going to the dance."

"Why don't you like Sue?" Julia asked.

"I dunno," Charlene admitted. "I wanted to ask Mary Deckert to the dance. Sue's nice and all, but she's kind of plain."

"You didn't have a chance with Mary."

"Yeah, especially now."

"And you look too much at the cover. Mary is a bitch."

"Julia!" Alison stepped in.

"It's true mom, she is," Julia defended her opinion. "Charles is fixated on her boobs, not her personality. Sue is a really great girl, just not stunning."

"That is pretty shallow Charlene," Alison commented.

Charlene shrugged. "It doesn't matter now anyways. If I can't figure out the trigger, I'm stuck."

"I think it's related to Sue," Julia decided.

Charlene shrugged again.

"Suit yourself, it seems obvious to me."

"Maybe," Charlene conceded, looking doubtful. "But I think if Gaea wanted me to be with Sue, she wouldn't have turned me into a girl over it."

"Gaea works mysteriously," Alison reminded them.

"Anyways," Julia said, obviously suppressing a smirk. "I hear that Gerald Thompson is anxious to ask my sister to the dance."

"What!" Charlene looked surprised.

"Believe it or not sis, you're a babe. The guys like you, but Gerald has put out the word that he's interested. Given that he's Mister Guy around the school, the others are backing off."

"Huh."

"He is cute," Julia grinned.

"Whatever. I don't need a jock trying to get my attention."

"You'll get it anyways."

Charlene sighed.

*****

"Hey Charlene!"

Charlene looked around to find the smiling face of Gerald Thompson at her locker. "Hi Gerald," she said.

"You're looking great," Gerald told her.

"Uh, thanks I guess." Charlene was kind of surprised at that, she hadn't spent any effort on her appearance at all hoping to avoid attention.

"I like the 'mussed' look in girls, it's sexy."

"Yeah, I guess." Charlene started looking for an avenue of escape.

"Listen," Gerald said. "Some of us are going to hit Dairy Queen after school today. Are you interested?"

"I, uh..." Charlene suddenly felt tongue tied. "What the hell is the matter with me?" she demanded to herself.

"It's no biggy, we're just going to grab some ice cream and hang. I'd like you to come."

"Sure." Charlene kicked herself mentally. "Why did I say okay?"

*****

Charlene was feeling a little nervous as school ended. Sue had gotten on her case about accepting a date from a jock, warning her again that they only had one track minds. Charlene had agreed with her, but still found herself strangely interested. "He is cute," she admitted, shocking herself. "Besides, he's athletic and talented."

Gerald met her at her locker after the bell rang. "Ready to go?" he asked.

"Sure."

Gerald took her arm and her school books as he led her out to his car. "The gang'll meet us there," he noted.

Charlene felt strange as he took her arm, almost a little tingly.

Gerald drove them to the Dairy Queen in silence. Charlene stared out the window trying to figure out why she agreed to this in the first place. "Still, he's been a gentleman," she argued with herself. "Nothing like the dire predictions that Sue gave. Heck, he even carried my books. He is a guy though."

"Penny for your thoughts," Gerald asked.

"You'd waste your money."

Gerald laughed. "You're as funny as you are pretty."

"You're just saying that," Charlene ad-libbed, feeling a bit awkward in the situation.

"No, really. That was funny and there is no mistaking that you're gorgeous."

Charlene blushed.

*****

Gerald and Charlene walked into a crowd of jocks and cheerleaders at the Dairy Queen and Charlene immediately felt awkward. This wasn't her crowd even as Charles, especially as Charles.

"Hey all, you know Charlene?" Gerald asked, giving her a proprietary squeeze on the shoulder as everyone nodded. "We're going to the dance together."

Charlene looked surprised. "Hadn't you better ask me first?" she demanded.

"Oh, sorry babe! Would you go to the dance with me?" Gerald gave her a winning smile.

Charlene was momentarily lost for words. "On the one hand," she argued with herself. "He just assumed. On the other, well, he is cute and his friends are all here. Gaea, just what are you doing to me?"

"I guess so," she finally acceded.

"Cool. What do you want from the counter?"

"Um... a fudge sundae I guess."

"Be right back." Gerald disappeared towards the counter leaving Charlene in the middle of the group.

"So, Charlene, when did you finally decide to dump the geeks?" Lisa Crowe, one of the cheerleaders, asked.

"I, well..."

"Yeah," Mike Holmes, one of the school football players added. "You're far too hot to be hanging out with those losers."

"Mike!" Amy Ferguson protested.

"Nobody is hotter than you babe," Mike soothed his girlfriend.

"They're okay," Charlene finally managed.

"You're too good for them," Gerald noted as he handed her a sundae and gave her another winning smile.

"I heard that that loser, David Ames, asked you to the dance," Lisa said.

"Yeah," Charlene replied, feeling bad for her friend.

"You were nicer than I would have been," Amy added. "I would have laughed at him."

"I would have killed him," Mike said, cracking his knuckles.

"Have you ever thought of being a cheerleader Charlene?" Lisa asked.

"Um... no?"

*****

"It was weird mom," Charlene noted.

"How so?" Alison asked.

"They just accepted me, like I was a long lost member of the group. Gerald was quite nice to me too." Charlene look a little surprised.

"And?"

"We're going to the movies on Saturday."

"I'm a little surprised that you've hooked up with this crowd. They haven't been your style in the past."

"Well, Gerald seems nice and he was a gentleman." For some reason, Charlene was feeling a little defensive all of a sudden.

"I see," Alison replied without much inflection in her voice.

"It's just the movies, no big deal. They liked me and they even thought I should be a cheerleader."

"Will they accept Sue and David?" Alison was beginning to get an inkling of what the triggers to the spell might be.

Charlene shrugged. "Well, probably not. You know there's the geek crowd and the cool crowd. It seems like the cool crowd finally likes me."

"Is it worth it?"

Charlene shrugged again.

*****

*Well mother,* Alison commented. *I think I know what the triggers are. Gaea is wise, I can't step in or it will fail.*

*Are you really surprised?* Abigail asked.

*No.* Alison had to suppress a smirk. *She has plans for Charles and Charlene I think, but they need to learn.*

*So they must.*

*Goodnight mother.*

*Goodnight dear.*

*****

"Hey babe," Gerald said as he hugged Charlene from behind.

In spite of herself, Charlene felt a small tingle from the contact. It was weird, but she was feeling pretty good about being accepted with the "in" crowd and Gerald kept treating her really nice. "Hey yourself," she responded, smiling.

"Join us at lunch?"

"Sure."

"Okay, cool. I'll see you then." Gerald gave her a quick kiss.

Charlene was too surprised by the sudden kiss to react either happily or angrily over it. Instead, she just gazed at Gerald as he sauntered down the hall.

"Earth to Charlene," Sue said from behind.

"Huh?"

"You're going to be late for class."

"Oh yeah." Charlene shook herself.

"What do you see in that guy?" Sue asked, looking curious.

"He's been nice to me," Charlene protested.

"He's got a wall of panties and he wants yours to add to the collection."

"Sue, give it a rest! He hasn't made a single attempt to put the moves on me."

"It's only a matter of time," Sue muttered darkly. "It's your business, but David really likes you and he's a nice guy. He wouldn't try to screw you and leave you. Gerald talks about the four 'f' process all the time."

"Four 'f's?"

"Feel 'em, finger 'em, fuck 'em, forget 'em."

"Sue!"

"I'm just trying to warn you," Sue commented.

"He's not like that, I can tell."

Sue shrugged.

"Is it jealousy?" Charlene asked, suddenly feeling she was sure about why Sue was so dead set against her seeing Gerald.

"Jealousy?"

"He's a pretty hot guy," Charlene said. "Now where did that come from?" she demanded of herself. "Hot guy?!?"

"Oh, please."

"Maybe they're right, maybe I am too good."

Sue got a disgusted look on her face. "You know Charlene, I love you like a sister, but I guess you have to learn for yourself. Come see me when you grow up." With that, Sue turned on her heel and walked away.

Charlene stared after Sue and finally shrugged. "Jealousy. Well, I'm in the 'in' crowd now, so look out world!" Charlene grabbed her books and hurried to class, pointedly ignoring Sue and joining Amy Ferguson instead.

*****

"We still on for tomorrow?" Gerald asked at lunch.

"You bet," Charlene replied as she ignored the sad look that Sue gave her in passing.

"Cool." Gerald slipped his arm around her waist. The action made Charlene feel as though she was being put on display, but she shrugged it off.

*****

"What's up with you and Sue?" David Ames asked her in study period.

"Nothing," Charlene replied. "She's just jealous, that's all."

"About what?"

"Gerald asked me out to a movie and to the dance." Charlene was oblivious to the hurt look David got in his eyes.

"Don't judge a book by it's cover Charlene." David stood up and left her with that pronouncement.

"What has gotten into them?" Charlene demanded to herself.

*****

"What's gotten into you Charlene?" Julia demanded after they had gotten home from school.

"What do you mean?" Charlene looked surprised by the question.

"A couple of days ago you were Charles and you hung out with David and Sue. Now, you're Charlene and you're hanging out with the loose and easy crowd. How does my brother go from being a pretty normal guy to a flake of a girl in days?"

"What's so bad with Gerald and the others?"

"Are you trying to be a notch on a bedpost?"

"What is it with you guys?" Charlene complained. "He hasn't tried anything at all."

"He will. What I can't figure out is how you managed to adapt to the whole thing so quickly."

Charlene shrugged. "The spell I guess. It's better than being upset and struggling."

"Do you want to change back?"

"Yeah! It's just that I don't feel uncomfortable like this either. It's weird, I guess, but I just do what feels natural."

"Must be some sort of acclimatization thing."

Charlene shrugged again.

"Oh well. A word of advice sis: you should have accepted David's offer. You'll find out soon enough that Gerald is a pig."

"Give it up Julia! I'm not going to sleep with him," Charlene told her. "He's been really nice, acting like a gentleman, and he looks good too."

"Don't judge a book by it's cover or it's first chapter."

"Have you been talking to David?"

Chapter 8: Show Time!

"Julia! Help!" Charlene shouted from the top of the stairs.

"What's the problem?" Julia called up.

"I don't know what to wear!"

Julia had a giggle fit over the plaintive cry and quickly muffled her laughter as she joined Charlene in her bedroom. "You're kidding right?" she asked.

"No! I'm stuck and I have no idea about how to do makeup either."

"I have to admit, I never thought I would be helping you with this," Julia grinned.

"Are you going to help or not?" Charlene glared.

"Relax, I'll help."

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"First things first," Julia started. "Lose the jeans. I'll loan you my jean skirt."

"Um..." Charlene looked a little unsure.

"Don't worry about it. You've already basically adapted to the whole girl thing, so what's a skirt?"

"I guess."

"You'll look good in it, trust me." Julia retrieved the skirt from her room and stood patiently as Charlene held the skirt in front of herself. "Well?"

"Are you going to just stand there?"

"Well, yeah. Why? Oh come on Charlene!"

"It's a little weird for me, you know." Charlene was blushing.

"Get over it. By this time next week you'll be showering the girl's change room."

"Oh yeah!" Charlene got a bit of a dreamy smile on her face.

Julia gave her a curious look. "If the thought interests you so much, why are you going out with Gerald?"

"I don't know. Whenever he comes around, I get all tongue-tied. As weird as it sounds, I think he's hot." Charlene finally began changing into the skirt.

"Didn't you think the same thing of Mary?"

Charlene nodded as she did up the button on the skirt.

"You really fixate on looks you know," Julia observed.

"So sue me."

"Not worth it. Oh well, sit down and I'll help you with your makeup. You know, if you're going to be Charlene for any length of time, you need to learn this."

"I don't plan to be Charlene for long, but I might as well have some fun."

Julia rolled her eyes. "Well, pay attention anyways. First things first: foundation."

"Foundation?"

"Pay attention grasshopper and you will learn."

*****

"Wow! You look great!" Gerald smiled his compliment as Charlene made her entrance. Not surprisingly, Julia made her wait a few minutes despite objections that it was just games playing and real girls didn't really do that.

"Thanks! You look good too." Charlene beamed at the compliment.

"Ready to go?"

"I think so."

"Don't be home too late," Alison called from the kitchen. "Eleven at the latest."

"Okay mom!" Charlene grabbed Gerald by the arm and dragged him from the house before more instructions could follow. "Sorry," she apologized.

"No worries," Gerald commented. "Eleven is actually better than most girls I know get."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it'll give us lots of time together." Gerald said as he handed her into the car and closed the door.

"So, what movie are we going to see?"

"I was thinking the new horror flick, you know with Freddie versus Jason."

"Oh," Charlene said, trying hard not to sound disappointed.

"Hey, we can catch something else if you want, but there isn't a lot of choices."

"No, it's okay." Charlene smiled at him for the offer.

Gerald squeezed her knee and then started the car. "Alright then, it's decided."

*****

It was stupid, it was dumb, but there were just enough scenes to cause Charlene to scream involuntarily and grab onto Gerald at random intervals. All of which made her miss the fact that Gerald was grinning over his success. "Nothing beats a horror flick to get a chick crawling in your arms," he grinned to himself as he stroked her back and arms each time.

In spite of the occasional twinge that Charlene got whenever she thought of the fact that it was a guy stroking her shoulders, she actually enjoyed herself. So far, Gerald had been really nice to her, buying her snacks, and honestly telling her when she could look at the movie again. Charlene was beginning to relax and even trust him.

Gerald eyed Charlene from behind as they left the movie theatre and his smile became almost predatory. "What do you say we take a walk in the park?" he asked. "We have a few hours before you have to be home."

"Sure, why not?" Charlene responded, feeling pretty good about how the date had gone. She felt a small tingle as Gerald took her hand in his and led her towards the park near the theatre.

It was a warm night and there was a glorious field of stars in the sky. Gerald and Charlene found a quiet spot and laid down in the grass to stare in to the heavens. Eventually, Gerald leaned up and kissed Charlene. Surprised, at first, she didn't respond, but then she felt herself reacting and returned the kiss. Within seconds, the two were making out madly in the grass and Charlene suppressed any sense of wrongness that she might have felt over kissing a boy.

After a few minutes, she felt Gerald's hands getting more familiar, but her mind blanked it out. Gerald was a good kisser, she was enjoying herself too much. That ended when she felt his hand climb under her skirt. "Stop," she whispered.

"What's the problem?" Gerald asked, looking surprised.

"You're going too fast."

Gerald shrugged and began kissing her again, his hands seemingly content to roam outside her clothing. However, Gerald could sense her breathing become more shallow as her excitement was beginning to rise, and he got a little more bold with his hands.

Charlene almost gasped at the touch of his hand on her breast, outside of her clothing fortunately. She wanted to tell him to stop, but it felt too good. His hand moved across her tummy and she felt a shiver of pleasure. The feeling of his hand reaching under her skirt was like a bucket of ice water.

"I said no!" The images of Sue and her sister talking about panties and notches came flying back to her. She backed away from him.

"What is with you?" Gerald demanded. "I can tell you want it."

"No, I don't."

"Bullshit. Look, I brought a condom, what's the big deal?"

Charlene looked shocked. "You did what?" she sputtered.

"I brought a condom," he explained, trying to look patient. His face showed that he expected that they would use it.

"One date and you think you're going to have sex with me?"

Gerald shrugged. "Sure, it wouldn't be the first time."

Charlene was stunned. She'd heard of moving fast, but this took the cake! "You think you're that special do you?"

"Let me put it this way," Gerald told her. "Without me, you're a school loser. With me, you get out of that bunch and become part of the real scene. There's a price, though, and I think you know what it is. Put out or get out."

Charlene just laughed as she watched Gerald's face go red. She stood up. "I'd like to be going home now," she told him.

"You walk away from me and you'll stay a loser," Gerald told her, still sitting in the grass.

"I didn't think you would be gentleman enough to take me home. Goodbye Gerald."

Chapter 9: Chrysalis

Charlene tried to hide the results of her crying, but it was useless. What was even worse is that Sue and Julia had tried to warn her. "Hell," she admitted to herself. "I should have been able to warn me. I knew his reputation." She finished washing off the last of the makeup.

"You're home early," Alison commented from the doorway. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything." Charlene didn't turn around.

Alison gently turned her former son around and looked her squarely in the eyes.

"Oh mom," Charlene cried. "I've been such an idiot."

Alison hugged her. "You learned something tonight, didn't you." She could feel Charlene nod her head. "Do you know what it is?"

"I... I think so. I have to talk to David."

*****

David was surprised to see Charlene at the door when he answered the doorbell. "Hey, I thought you were out with Gerald?" he greeted her, a little coldly.

"I was," Charlene told him, shivering slightly at the response. "Can I come in?"

"I guess." David swung open the door and led her to the kitchen. Charlene sat in one of the chairs as David stood there looking at her. She could see the hurt in his eyes. The hurt she had caused by her rejection that was a lie.

"David," Charlene said, taking a deep breath. "We've been friends since we were in kindergarten."

David nodded.

"I hurt you," she added.

"Yeah, you did."

"I've had a hard time looking beyond the outer shell," she said, visibly struggling with her words as David winced. He knew he wasn't the handsome guy like Gerald. "I assumed that what I could see was the same as what was inside."

"Charlene, if you came over here to insult me..."

"No David!" Charlene clenched her hands and choked back her tears. "I'm talking about Gerald. I should have know better, but I just couldn't see. He may look great on the outside, but the inside is rotten."

David visibly relaxed as he began to understand what Charlene was struggling to say.

"I ran around with an ant and I was missing the butterfly in a cocoon." Charlene felt her body tingle and looked directly at Sue. Momentarily surprised at the sudden change, Charles realized that he must have found the trigger. He blinked rapidly.

Sue sat down across from Charles at the table.

"Da... Sue, I'm really sorry," Charles said. "I would be really honored to go to the dance with you."

*****

Julia was still grouchy over the sudden loss of her favorite skirt, the one that she was going to wear to the dance. Oddly though, she was kind of happy to have Charles back even if the cost was having it turn into a pair of blue jeans on him when the change happened.

"Hey sis," Charles called into her room. "Am I forgiven?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Julia replied as she let him in.

"Do I look okay?" he asked. He was dressed pretty good for Charles. New shirt, no jeans, and no running shoes.

"Yeah, Charles, you do."

"Thanks." His tone conveyed a deeper meaning and Julia smiled at him.

"See you at the dance," she said, pushing him back out of the room. "Now go pick up Sue, I still have to figure out what to wear."

*****

Charles nervously waited for Sue in her parent's living room. Sue's father was having the standard chat, despite the fact that he had known Charles for years. Still, it was his daughter's first date and he had to play the role. Charles tuned him out as much as he could while he waited for Sue.

Finally, he heard footsteps at the doorway and stood up almost to fall back into his seat. "Wow," he mustered. "You really are a butterfly."