This chapter may not seem like it's talking about Mom at all, but it'll make sense in a while, okay? Her early years were a bit…different to what most probably expect. I wrote this in first person, because that's the way Mom's diaries and journals are written and it just seemed the best way. I've tried to capture her 'voice', and I think it sounds about right. Enjoy!

Hugs and Kisses!

Rain

---

 

 
I was flying over the surface of the Earth, looking down on the creatures that dwelled there. I was looking for a certain type of person, and I found him on a plateau overlooking a river valley filled with huge old trees. As I came to a stop behind him I considered what form I should take for this encounter. A human form seemed the most logical, so that's what I chose. I felt heavy and awkward in that flesh, but humans seemed afraid of anything that was different, so I hoped it would allow us to communicate freely.

"H-hello?" I said hesitantly, trying to get control of these strange vocal chords that humans use. Speaking directly to his mind would have been easier, but I didn't want to frighten him.

He seemed startled when I spoke and turned quickly, drawing his weapon as he did. It was made of bone and appeared to be quite sharp. He looked at me strangely, as if he had never seen another human being in his life. "What are you?" he asked.

"I'm human, just like you." I replied; ignoring the fact I had only been so for a few moments.

"Not like me, I'm a man! You are neither man nor woman!" he replied, pointing at the junction of my legs and torso. "What are you?" he asked again.

I sighed, I had hoped to pass myself off as one of them, but I had obviously made some kind of mistake in constructing this body. "I am Magic." I replied, allowing him to see a brief glimpse of my true self, or as much as his mind could handle.

His eyes opened wide in awe and he fell to his knees. "Please forgive me!" he cried, throwing his weapon down and bowing his head until it touched the ground.

I rolled my eyes (a useful human expression, I'd noticed). This was why I had attempted to pass myself off as human, I didn't want him to react to me as he would one of his gods. We'd get nowhere if he was too afraid of me to speak freely. "There is nothing to forgive, please stand." I said, injecting as much kindness into my voice as I could. Being unfamiliar with human vocal chords I was uncertain if I had managed the effect I wanted, but he did stand.

"What can Jorek do for you, Great One?" he asked, still too afraid to look me in the eyes.

I couldn't help but smile at his response. As I'd feared, he thought I was a god. This could actually work in my favor, for if he knew what I really was… "You are called Jorek, yes?" I asked.

"Yes Great One." he replied fearfully.

"I have need of your assistance, Jorek." I said. "I wish to live among humans as one of you for a time, in order to learn more about you. But in order to do that there are things I must know. To begin, how did you know I was not like you, in what way did I err in forming this body?"

Once again he collapsed to his knees and prostrated himself in fear. "Please do not harm me, I meant no disrespect!" he begged.

Being thought of as a god was getting tiresome very quickly. "Jorek, what do you think I am?" I asked.

He looked up briefly in confusion and then looked down again saying, "You are a Great One, a god!"

"No, I'm not. I am Magic." I replied.

"Magic? I am unfamiliar with this word. What does it mean?" He asked, his curiosity eroding his fear enough to look up again.

"Magic is what I am. It is the power your sorcerers use, and it is the power that makes you immortal." I explained.

He nearly fell over in shock at my words. "How do you know I'm immortal?!" he exclaimed.

I couldn't help but laugh at his response. "It is my power that makes you so, of course I know it!" I replied, still laughing.

"You are Mana?" he asked in awe.

"Mana? Does that mean Magic?" I asked, as I'd never heard this word before. Humans had so many languages, it was pointless to try and keep track of them all.

"I believe so." he replied uncertainly. "Mana is what we call the power that you speak of."

I nodded thoughtfully, "Then I have a name, it seems. Mana…I rather like it!" I had not considered acquiring a name, Magic had always sufficed before. But humans were obsessed with naming everything, so perhaps it would be for the best to have one. "Now, back to my question. What did I do wrong?" I asked, keeping my tone curious but calm so as not to spook him.

"Your body, it is neither male nor female." He said hesitantly, still afraid I would be angry with him for pointing out my error.

"You said that before, but I don't understand. I know that some of you are male and some female. But I was under the impression that the only difference was the length of hair and the clothes that you wear." I said.

"No, there are other differences! Women have breasts, men do not." Jorek said.

"Breasts? What are they?" I asked.

"They are large rounded mounds on their chests and they can feed children with them." Jorek replied, cupping his hands over his chest to help to show where and what they look like.

"Oh, is that what those are? What other differences are there?" I asked. For some reason he seemed very uncomfortable as he tried to describe the differences between the male and female reproductive organs. His explanation was so disjointed that I finally just cast my mind out and investigated the matter myself. "How strange. Is one gender better than the other for my purpose?" I asked.

"Male!" he replied proudly. "Women are weak, they can not protect themselves."

I nodded, "Very well. Are there any particular traits that I should cultivate in my male form?"

He thought about this and said, "It would be best to be tall and strong. To be attractive to the women, and feared and respected by other men."

I cast my mind out again; using the thoughts as well as the words to guide me and soon had an image in mind that would do all of that. "Good, thank you Jorek. Is there anything else that I will need in order to live among humans?" I asked.

"You will need clothes; we do not go about naked as you are now. You will also need a name other than Mana." he replied.

I thought on this and created an image beside me of a human male, tall and strong with rugged features and wearing clothes similar to those Jorek wore. "Will this do?" I asked.

He gazed in amazement at the image beside me and nodded, "Yes! This is a very strong man, a good body to experience humanity in!"

"What about a name?" I asked, having no idea what would be appropriate. I had observed that humans used different names in different areas, but I did not understand the reasoning behind this.

Jorek frowned thoughtfully, "It must be a strong name. Would Garon be acceptable?"

"Garon? That is a strong name?" I asked. He nodded. "Very well, Garon it will be. Where shall I go to begin?" I said.

"My home is very far from here, but there is a place near here with many people. It is only three hours walk that way." he said, pointing in almost the opposite direction of the valley.

"Good. Is there anything else I will need to know?" I asked, hoping that was it as this experiment had already become much more complicated than I'd hoped.

"I can think of nothing else, Great One." Jorek replied.

"Very well. In thanks I will strengthen your link with me." I said. We both glowed with a blue light for a moment. He seemed frightened at first, but then smiled widely at me.

"Thank you Great One! Thank you!" he said happily.

I smiled back at him and stepped into the image beside me. My human appearing body became human in fact as it shifted to match the image. I looked down at my new body in satisfaction that quickly turned to horror. "Something is wrong! This body, it causes me pain!" I screamed as I collapsed on the rough stone of the plateau. Jorek looked terrified and backed away from me. As I writhed in agony I was dimly aware of my siblings appearing around me. They all wore bodies like the one I had just changed from. Some appeared to fly down from the sky, while others flew up from within the Earth and others simply appeared out of thin air.

"You've finally made a mistake, Magic!" My second eldest sibling sneered at me.

"The binding first!" My youngest sibling growled. They all began to chant, but I did not hear all of what they said as the pain was blinding. I thought I heard my eldest sibling's voice added to the chant discordantly, but I soon lost consciousness for the first time in my long life.

I awoke to agony and confusion. I was lying on the stony ground and a sexless figure was sitting beside me. "I am sorry, Magic, I could not stop them. I tried, but all I managed to do was weaken the binding. It will fail in time, but you will have to endure it until then." the strange being beside me said.

"Who are you?" I gasped through the pain.

The strange being seemed sad when I said that. "You have already forgotten, haven't you? I am so sorry my sister! I must leave now, or I will draw our siblings' attention to us both. I will make sure they can not trace you, but that is the best I can do. Goodbye sister." With that it disappeared without a trace. I was curious about this, and what he had said, for only a moment before the pain drove all thought from my mind. I struggled to my feet, hoping that getting off of the rough ground might alleviate some of my pain. It made no difference at all.

I stumbled across the uneven ground of what appeared to be a plateau and tried to make sense of what I was feeling. Then I spied the bone knife lying on the ground. "Relief!" I cried out, dropping to my knees beside the weapon. I picked it up and drove it into my stomach as hard as I could. The pain I felt from that was different from what I had awoken with, but it was nothing in comparison. I stabbed again, hoping to drown one pain with another. And again, and again. Soon my arms grew weak and I dropped the knife and fell on my side. I saw a man running towards me before everything went dark.

---

 

 

I woke screaming, sweat streaming off of me. I scrambled for the light and turned it on and was soo relieved to see I was still in my bedroom and not on that damned plateau! This was the fifth night in a row I'd had that dream and I was well tired of it! Every time, like now, I had to run to the bathroom and make sure I was still me and not some muscle bound caveman. I sighed in relief as I saw my reflection. I'm not beautiful, by any means, but I like to think I'm at least somewhat cute! Even straight from bed I had no trouble seeing a woman in the mirror.

I stripped off my nightgown and turned on the shower. It felt good to get all that sweat off of me, but I so hated looking at that disgusting lump of flesh between my legs! Only one more week, though, and it would be gone for good! That week couldn't go by fast enough for me.

I had an appointment with my therapist today, so I decided to dress up a bit and try and look my best. I wanted to make sure she knew I have no regrets, no doubts! I chose a nice light-weight violet dress that made aspirations of reaching my knees and failed miserably. Some simple black heeled sandals and my purse and I was all set to go. Just to drive the point home, I decided to stop and throw some makeup on. I didn't usually bother, but thought, why not?

A quick jog down to my battered old gray Honda Civic and I was on my way. I patted the steering wheel lovingly as I started it up. Buying this old thing with my tax return had been the best investment I could have made! It was well maintained by the previous owner, and I made sure to do the same. Despite the higher maintenance costs, it was a lot cheaper than making payments on a new car. The money I would have used to make those payments went into savings and allowed me to schedule my surgery a lot sooner than I otherwise would have.

I whiled away the time it took to get to my therapists office by singing along to a Sarah McLachlan CD. I was still trying to tweak my voice and used singing to try out different things. Besides, I love to sing!

I was feeling pretty good by the time I got to my therapists office. That changed as soon as I stepped in the door as my nervousness had my stomach doing flips, as usual. It wasn't as bad as my first appointment, but I always felt a little sick from nerves on these appointments.

As usual, my nervousness was totally unfounded as my appointment went great. My therapist complimented me on my outfit and asked how I was feeling about my surgery. Naturally I said I was looking forward to it and it couldn't come fast enough, which it can't! We talked about what the surgery entailed, and how I'd be pretty limited until I'd recovered. I wasn't really looking forward to the recovery, but I'd put up with just about anything to be whole!

I felt a lot better afterwards, as I usually do. Just getting rid of those butterflies is enough reason to feel better! I decided to do a little window shopping before lunch. I hadn't been able to buy much before now because I was saving up for my surgery. Now that I had what I needed for that I would finally be able to spend a little. So I looked with renewed interest at all the clothes in the store windows, knowing I could actually buy some of those clothes soon.

I went home for lunch and spent a few hours online. I could spend all day online shopping, talking to my friends, reading, or whatever. I forced myself to get up and get some exercise after a while by going hiking. There's a great trail right behind my apartment building that goes into the woods and covers quite a bit of area. I took a different route each time, and I still hadn't even seen half of it.

I met my neighbor Mandy on the trail. "Hi Mandy." I said when I spotted her. She waved, but didn't stop to talk. She knows I'm transsexual, and I don't think she knows what to think about it. She's not hostile, though, so I keep trying to talk to her. Maybe one of these days she'll at least say "hi".

After my hike I had a snack for dinner, I wasn't really very hungry. I don't need to eat that much, and I don't want to get fat. It took me too long to get this shape to mess it up now! My exciting day concluded with a few hours of anime and a few more hours online before I went to bed. Each night it was getting harder and harder to get to sleep. I'm not sure how much of it is because of the dream, and how much is because of my eagerness to have surgery.

The next day, Sunday, was pretty uneventful too. Mostly just stayed in and surfed the net while watching anime. I had the dream again, but that was getting to be expected. Still woke up screaming, though.

After recovering from the dream yet again, I got ready for work the next morning. I'd gotten lucky in the job stakes; I'd managed to keep my job despite the economic troubles, and even got a promotion! Being the manager of a warehouse wasn't much fun, but it paid well enough. And being the boss meant that I didn't have to deal with any harassment from my co-workers!

Originally I was supposed to do the grunt work, but we found out pretty fast that I just wasn't strong enough for it (and that was before hormones). Instead of getting fired, I got a desk job. Now, ten years later, I'm running the place. Who knew being a weakling could be so useful?

Not much was going on at work, so I was able to get caught up on things a bit. Hopefully things wouldn't get too busy while I was out, I wasn't looking forward to the backlog I'd have when I got back! After work I went through my checklist of things to bring for my surgery and went over the bags I'd already packed. There were a few things I didn't have, but they would arrive by mail soon as I'd ordered them online. Hopefully nothing would hold them up.

As usual I stayed in and surfed and watched TV after dinner. I don't really have friends, except online. There's family, of course, but I don't see them very often. Most of them are okay with me being transgendered, but they keep pretty busy. It took quite a bit of work to arrange a time for my surgery that would work for both my sister and I, my sister being the difficult one. Where she gets all the energy for all her activities, I'll never know.

I tossed and turned for over an hour before I finally fell asleep, and woke screaming yet again in the morning. That dream was really getting old! Other than being a bit tired, my day was much the same. The stuff I ordered online was waiting for me when I got home, so I packed it up with everything else. Then it was on with my usual evening activities and off to bed.

I got even less sleep this time, but somehow managed to get through the day. Thursday was even worse, and Friday I was in such bad shape that everyone told me I should go get ready for my trip early. I wasn't in much shape to argue, so I called my sister and let her know I'd be home soon. She'd planned on meeting me there when I got off work. She wasn't doing anything, so she was able to meet me at home shortly after I got there.

"Wow Emily, you really are worn out, aren't you?! Did you get any sleep last night?" Martha greeted me when I opened the door.

"Gee, nice to see you too, sis." I said sarcastically. She had a couple of large bags and I tried to help her with them, but they were really heavy!

"Whoa, I'll take care of my bags, you're worn out! That nightmare still?" Martha asked as she hauled her bags inside. She struggled with them, but not nearly as much as I would have.

"Yeah, I have a hard time getting to sleep anymore, and then wake up early because of it." I replied.

"I hope that goes away after your surgery, you'll need your sleep." Martha said as she closed the door. She left her bags near the door, since we'd be hauling them right back out again soon.

"You and me both!" I agreed, pulling my own bags over to hers so I wouldn't forget anything. I had five bags, but they were a lot smaller. When you're as wimpy as I am you get used to keeping things in manageable weights.

Martha took a seat at the end of the couch and patted the cushion next to her. "Why don't you have a lie down and rest a bit, we've got some time before we have to leave." she suggested. I wasn't in any shape to argue, so I did. She insisted I use her lap as a pillow and stroked my hair until I fell asleep.

I woke screaming again! Martha held onto me until I calmed down. "That bad, huh?" she said.

Panting, I said, "Yeah…I guess so." I felt my face to reassure me it was only a dream.

"Don't worry, you're still you!" Martha said with a laugh. I'd told her all about the dream after I had it the third time. "You need to stop worrying so much, there's nothing that could stop you from having this surgery!" That was the only explanation for the dream either of us had been able to come up with, that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to have surgery for some reason.

"I know." I agreed. "I don't know why I keep having this dream. It's getting really old!"

"I bet! Why don't you get yourself cleaned up? By the time you're done it'll be time to go." Martha said.

"Sounds like a plan." I said and went to throw some cold water on my face. I was beginning to look forward to the end of that dream almost as much as the surgery itself!

When I got out of the bathroom we loaded up all our stuff in my car and drove to the airport. Martha unloaded everything at the curb so we wouldn't have to lug it all the way from the long term parking area. After parking the car I joined her in line and we went through the usual routine. I was falling asleep on my feet by the time we boarded the plane and fell asleep right away.

Martha woke me when we got there, thankfully I hadn't scared the whole plane waking up screaming like last time! She helped me get my carry on bags down and we made our way to the baggage claim area. "Why don't you get one of those cart things?" Martha suggested. I nodded and brought one over and we loaded it up with our bags.

Martha called a cab while we pulled the cart out to the curb. We didn't have to wait long. Soon we were checked into our hotel and had everything unloaded. I went straight to bed while Martha stayed up and read.

I woke in the middle of the night screaming again. Martha crawled into bed with me and soon I fell back asleep in her arms.

I woke the next morning feeling more rested than I had in almost two weeks. After Martha ate breakfast we headed over to the hospital to get me checked in. My surgery was scheduled early, so I didn't have long to wait before I was being wheeled away. "Good luck, sis!" Martha called out after me.

I woke many hours later. Martha was sitting next to my bed reading. When she saw I was awake she held out a glass of water, "Thirsty?"

I nodded and she helped me drink it. I felt really weak and groggy. I think there was pain, too, but I was too out of it to be sure. I was awake on and off for a few more hours before Martha had to leave. "Try not to have another of those nightmares, okay? You're in no shape to be dealing with that." she said before leaving.

I finally fell into a deeper sleep that night and dreamed again. This time the dream was different:

---

~9,994 years ago…

 
"When are you going to get it through your thick head that you're a boy!" Dad yelled. He knocked me across the room with his next punch and I just lay there, crying. "You're not a girl, stop that sniveling!" he roared. I tried to stop crying, but I couldn't. He kicked me in the stomach and sent me flying again, right into the wall. He snorted in disgust and stormed out.

Mom cleaned me up, but she had no sympathy for me. "You mustn't aggravate your father like that. I don't know what's gotten into you." Once she was done she sent me out to pull weeds from the garden.

I went outside, but not to the garden. Why can't they accept that I'm a girl?! I thought angrily. I kicked rocks out of my way as I walked to the river. I spent a while throwing rocks into the river and thinking. They're never going to believe me, are they? I thought sadly. I'd heard stories of sorcerers who might have been able to help me, but magic had mysteriously weakened shortly before I was born. Nobody relied on magic too much anymore.

I realized then that there really was no hope for me. Even if my parents accepted me as a girl, I couldn't change my body. I'd grow up to be an ugly hairy man like my father. I clutched my head in familiar pain. I'd had these pains for as long as I could remember. Dad said they were just my imagination, but I knew they were because my body is wrong. I was so tired of the pain, and being treated like a disgusting boy!

I don't know how long I stood there on the edge of the river. Could have been minutes or hours. The pain just kept getting worse, like it always did. Some days I was nearly blinded by it, but Dad never had any sympathy and still expected me to do my chores. Why am I doing this? There's no hope! I thought forlornly. A surge of pain nearly brought me to my knees and I decided that was enough! I jumped into the river and forced myself to relax my muscles. It was even harder to let myself swallow the water, but soon I was drifting away peacefully, finally free of pain!

---

 
To Be Continued…

Hugs and Kisses!

Rain

---

I woke gasping for air and coughing to rid my lungs of water that wasn't there. Damn, I finally stop having one dream just to have another! What's with my subconscious and suicide, anyway?!

Apparently I'd dislodged a sensor with my thrashing, as a nurse came running in thinking I had stopped breathing or something. I apologized and explained about my dreams and she reconnected whatever it was. I was feeling really drained after all that thrashing around and fell asleep just as the doctor was arriving to make sure I hadn't pulled any stitches.

---

I sighed as I checked the last of my traps. They weren't very well built to begin with, so it wasn't too surprising to find this one in pieces. The only one that even attracted an animal, and it broke the trap! I sat down to try and fix it, but I didn't have much hope. Ever since I was run out of the village everything I'd tried had failed. I hadn't eaten for three days and the hunger was almost as bad as the pain that drove me out here.

I heard a rustling in the bushes and cautiously stood and moved towards it. I was shocked to find it was a boar! I looked down at my little knife that I'd stolen on my way out of the village and then back at the boar. There wasn't much chance I could take it with that little thing, but what other options did I have? And it's not like I had anything to lose!

With that thought I broke into a run, straight for the boar. I managed to hit it with my knife before it realized the danger, but I didn't do much damage to it. With a squeal of pain and anger it turned on me with those deadly tusks. The fight was over before it had really begun and I was left bleeding on the ground. Oh well, at least I tried...

---

I woke and felt my stomach, expecting to be covered in blood. Martha was sitting in a chair next to my bed and noticed my actions. "That's different." she noted. "You're usually trying to make sure you haven't become some kind of neanderthal guy!"

I didn't notice until I tried to reply that I was out of breath. "Did I...scream?" I asked.

Martha nodded, "Yeah, but not as much or as loud as before. Was this dream different?" I nodded and told her about it, and the other one I had before that. "Huh, why do all these dreams end in death?" she asked curiously.

I shrugged, "I don't know. I've wanted to die before, but not lately. Especially now, when I've finally had my surgery! It doesn't make any sense to me."

Our conversation was interrupted by a nurse who checked my vitals and left again. "So, how are you feeling?" Martha asked after the nurse had gone.

I hadn't really noticed until then, besides my panic over the dream. "Sore." I replied.

Martha laughed, "I bet! But just think of it, once you've recovered you can start having fun with the boys like the rest of us!"

I frowned at her, "You know I'm not interested in guys!"

"I'm kidding! I don't suppose you've found yourself a girlfriend yet?" Martha asked.

"I wish!" I grumbled. I could probably get a boyfriend easily enough if I wanted to, but who would want a big hairy guy hanging all over them? It still amazed me, though, how I could attract the guys just by showing a little leg. Now if only that worked as well on girls...

Martha and I talked for a bit, but I was still tired and fell asleep before long.

I slept through most of that day, waking each time from another nightmare. Each one was different, but they all ended in death. A few were from disease or accident, but most were self-inflicted. And, of course, I was a boy in each one!

I could tell Martha was starting to get worried about these dreams. Especially as they continued even after we left the hospital. We were staying in the hotel a few more days after that so I could go in and the doctor could make sure everything was healing up alright before we left. She helped me get settled back in at the hotel and then motioned for me to sit next to her on the bed.

"Emily, do you have any idea why you're still having these dreams? I thought they would have ended by now." she said once I was seated.

I shook my head warily, "No idea. The weird thing is, even though they always end in death, they're getting better. Not a huge amount, but enough to be noticeable."

Martha looked at me weirdly before asking, "How can they be getting better if you always die?"

"I don't know, they just are!" I replied.

There wasn't much either of us could say about that. She kept an even closer eye on me while we were in the hotel room. The dreams continued, and I woke at least once a night from them. I didn't always wake up screaming anymore, though.

Finally, it was time to check out. We went over to the hospital and the doctor examined me and removed some stitches. He was really impressed with how well I was healing. When we were done we still had a couple of hours before our flight. We had lunch and then headed over to the airport. We were early, but that just meant we had plenty of time to get through security and everything.

Once we were finally settled in on the plane Martha said, "How long are you taking off before you go back to work?"

"A couple of weeks. I should be able to get back to work by then. It's not like my work is all that strenuous, after all." I said.

"I hope those dreams stop soon. You're going to need your sleep." Martha said worriedly.

I nodded, "Yeah, I'd love to get a solid night's sleep for once. I've gotten more sleep since the surgery, but that's not saying that much. I was in such bad shape last week from lack of sleep, it was ridiculous." Now that I was thinking about it, it seemed odd that I wasn't more tired. My recovery seemed to be going awfully well, considering.

"Well I'll make sure you get plenty of rest; even if I have to sit on you to do it!" Martha said with a smile. She was taking another week off from work to play nurse, like she'd been doing at the hotel. I'm so lucky to have such a great sister.

We chatted a little more before taking a nap after the plane took off.

---

"Cowards!" I spat at my comrades' backs. We were supposed to be protecting the village, but they didn't like the odds. There were only fifteen of us, and at least a hundred soldiers intent on burning our little village to the ground. When we got close enough to see what we were up against they threw their weapons down and ran.

Truth be told, I didn't really blame them. But I had been counting on their help to slow the soldiers down so our families could escape. I never had any illusions about surviving. But to die to give our families a chance to escape... That was a death I could be proud of, right? That's what I told myself, at least. And I so wanted to die. My father wouldn't let me give up. I'd tried, but he was vigilant. But he couldn't fault my dying like this. This was a man's death. So I could please us both.

Being farmers, we didn't have many weapons. I gathered up those my comrades had discarded and tried to figure out what I could do with them to buy everyone some time. I got an idea, so I set out the spears that made up our weapons in a line from where I was away from our village. Then I ran back and picked up the first one. When the soldiers got close enough I threw it, and ran back to grab the next one.

By the time I had grabbed it several soldiers were running ahead of the main force after me. I threw the spear and ran back for the next. This continued until I got to the last spear. I'd managed to do enough damage that the entire force had turned aside to deal with me, just as I'd hoped.

I held onto this spear, hoping against hope that I could take down more than one of their soldiers with it. I got far enough ahead of them to get out of sight and ducked behind some bushes. I waited until they had all rushed past me before coming out and stabbing one from behind. He cried out in pain, alerting his comrades. I jerked the spear free and ran again. This time they were right on my heels; there was no chance of another sneak attack.

I ran up a slope and turned to face them. There was no escape now, but I'd managed to lead them well away from our village. Hopefully my mother and everyone else would be long gone by the time the soldiers found them. When it looked like the soldiers would throw their own spears, I charged into them. My spear stabbed deep into the abdomen of one soldier before I was impaled by half a dozen spears...

---

Screaming in pain, my eyes shot open. I stopped when I realized I was on the plane, and uninjured. Everyone was staring at me, and a flight attendant walked over to see if I was alright. I blushed in embarrassment and looked down at my hands in my lap while Martha explained things to the flight attendant.

"Are you alright Emily?" she asked after the flight attendant left.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "Just another dream." My face was flaming, and a lot of people were still staring at me. Martha hugged me and I buried my face in her shoulder for a moment. Martha kept me involved in conversation for the rest of the flight to distract me.

We kept chatting through the terminal as we searched for our luggage. Martha wouldn't let me pick up any of it myself so all I could do was watch as she dragged our luggage off of the conveyor belt one at a time. She wouldn't even let me get a luggage cart, and left me to stand with the luggage while she went to get a cart herself. While I was watching for Martha to get back I saw a man that looked oddly familiar. He was looking my way at the time, but turned and disappeared into the crowd. Who was that? I wondered. I forgot all about the man when Martha got back and I tried to help with the luggage.

"Uh-uh, doctor's orders!" Martha scolded when I tried to pick up one of my smaller cases and put it on the cart she brought over. I grumbled, but left her to it. I was feeling pretty good, all things considered. It was a little boring standing there while she packed up our bags, but what could I do? She wouldn't even let me drive, but that was just as well since I was constantly shifting around in the seat trying to get comfortable on the drive home.

Martha sent me ahead with the keys to open the door while she started carrying bags in. I was going to hold the door for her, but after her second trip back to the car I was already feeling sleepy. After shoving a flower pot over to hold the door open I went inside and laid down on the couch. I was asleep before her next trip through.

I woke screaming, again! This time I'd died of asphyxiation, thanks to an abusive father. My dream selves have such wonderful parents...not!

Martha came in when she heard me screaming, "You okay Emily?" she asked worriedly.

"Yeah," I replied, gasping for air, "I'm okay. I'm glad our parents aren't like the ones I dream about, though!"

Martha shook her head, "Another of those, huh? Your dreams seem to include abusive parents an awful lot. If I didn't know better I'd think there was a story behind that."

I laughed weakly, still trying to get my breath back, "Yeah, our parents definitely don't fit the mold of some of those I've dreamed about! For starters, Mom's the one in charge instead of Dad!"

"True. And they're both so gentle, they'd never be able to live with themselves if they hurt us. Especially on purpose!" Martha agreed.

"That was the hardest part about coming out to them; making sure they knew they weren't responsible for me being this way, or for being too scared to tell anyone about it." I said.

"Yes, I was worried about that at first, but you handled it really well." Martha said. "So, are you ready for dinner?"

"Is it that late already?" I said, glancing at the clock. Sure enough, it was after six! To my surprise, Martha had already cooked dinner and had it sitting on the stove on warm until I woke up.

After dinner we watched a movie and talked for a while before going to bed. I was really tired, but with surgery and my nightmares that wasn't surprising. I woke several times during the night from nightmares, but did manage to get several hours of sleep in.

Martha stayed with me for the rest of the week. She cooked most of the meals and cleaned up the apartment for me. Dilating was easier than I expected. In fact, by the end of the week I was using the largest stent with no pain! Quite a difference from what I'd read about it, but I wasn't complaining. Martha insisted I get some exercise, so we walked up and down the trails. I introduced her to Mandy, who was as uncomfortable around me as usual.

The week was over far too quickly, for either of us. I was feeling almost normal by then, so I helped her get her stuff in her car Sunday morning. She had to be at work on Monday, and she needed some time to get her own house in order before going back to work. Once we had all her stuff loaded in her car we went back inside to talk for a bit before she left.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Martha asked worriedly. My dreams had actually increased in frequency. I had at least four a night, now, and they were still pretty grim.

"I'll be fine. I'm feeling a lot better than I was right before my surgery. Even though I wake up four times a night or more, I'm still not as tired as I was. And now that I don't have to worry about her using them as an excuse to block my surgery, I can talk about them with my therapist. I have an appointment tomorrow after work. Don't worry." I replied as positively as I could. I really didn't feel as bad as before, but I didn't know if going back to work would make that worse or not.

Martha reluctantly agreed. We talked for a bit more, and then I walked with her to her car. We had a bit of a tearful hug, as we'd enjoyed being together for the last two weeks. We normally didn't see each other more than once every week or two, even though we kept in touch by phone and email.

Eventually we parted and Martha got in her car. I waved as she drove away and then went inside. The rest of the day was a lazy one for me. I was quickly getting bored, and I felt better than I had before surgery, so I decided I'd go in to work Monday instead of waiting another week. That was better than staying home and missing having my sister around.

Everyone was surprised to see me at work the next day. Several people expressed concern that I was pushing myself too much too soon, but I insisted I was fine. Truthfully, I was better off than I'd been the last week before my surgery. Despite my many nightmares I didn't feel nearly as tired as I had.

After work I was walking towards my car when I saw a man leaning against the building not far from the entrance. He looked oddly familiar, and then I remembered: He was the man I saw at the airport. That's a weird coincidence. I thought. He was looking right at me when I first saw him, but he turned away as soon as our eyes met. When I got to my car I glanced back at him, but he was gone.

Everything went back to normal after that, mostly. My dreams increased in frequency, and I got less rest, but I was actually less tired. I also noticed a trend in my dreams I hadn't seen before. They were starting to include things I recognized from history. Several of my dreams obviously took place in Egypt, during the time when the pyramids were still being built! I started to get a chill when I looked some things from my dreams up online and found out that those things actually happened. What is happening to me?! I thought worriedly.

I never did mention my dreams to my therapist. And once I started correlating events in my dreams with actual events in history I was scared to. These were events I'd never read about before, so how could I know about them? And then there was the man from the airport. Over the next few weeks I saw him several times. One time was at work again. A couple of times I saw him at my apartment building. And the other times were near stores when I was out shopping. He always made eye contact, and then disappeared.

I didn't tell Martha about the man because I knew she'd worry. And if he wanted to do anything he'd had plenty of opportunities. I did tell her about my dreams, though. We talked about them often on the phone, but we were as mystified by them as we always had been.

The strangeness in my life took a big jump one night when I was out shopping late. I'd finally taken advantage of the fact I didn't have to save up for surgery anymore by going on a little shopping spree. Martha was with me, and we had a lot of fun. We were having so much fun we didn't want to stop, even though we were both tired and foot-sore. So, we decided to take a break and watch a movie, and then shop some more. After the movie we hit the downtown shops. It was getting dark, but that area is really well lit, and there were still plenty of people around, so we kept going. Finally, we decided it was getting a little too late, so we headed back to the parking lot.

We realized our mistake when we got there. Although the downtown shops area was well lit, the parking lot most definitely was not. We were both very on edge as we walked towards her car in the pitch black lot (We'd taken hers because it had more room). We kept looking all around as we went, but we were still taken completely be surprise when a guy with a huge knife suddenly rose up from behind a car and grabbed Martha. Another man came out of nowhere and grabbed both of my arms from behind. I totally panicked!

I was yelling, screaming, and swinging my arms around for a good thirty seconds before I realized two things: My thrashing had thrown the second guy through the windshield of the car next to me, and the man from the airport had grabbed the first man's hand and forced him to drop his knife. After a brief scuffle, he went flying into a wall. "Be more careful next time, my lady." the man from the airport said, and walked away. Martha and I stared at each other in shock, and then burst into tears.

Realizing our attackers could get up at any time, I managed to get control of myself and got Martha into the passenger seat. Once she and our bags were inside I got in and fumbled with the keys with shaking fingers. Finally, I got the car started and got us out of there as fast as I could. When we got back home I led Martha out, leaving our bags inside to get later. After sitting Martha down on the couch I collapsed next to her and burst into tears.

"Emily?" I heard Martha say distantly. She pulled me to her and we cried together for a long time.

We must have fallen asleep like that; when I woke screaming she was still holding me and fell off the couch. "Are you okay Emily?" she asked, lying on her back with her legs sticking up in the air. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight, and she soon joined me. I helped her to her feet and we sat back on the couch.

"I'm...fine." I gasped around my laughter.

"It's not that funny..." she grumbled, which got us both laughing again. It was probably a reaction to what happened in the parking lot, but we laughed until we couldn't breath and tears were streaming down our face.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was five in the morning. "Good thing it's Sunday." I said. Martha followed my gaze and nodded.

Silence settled between us and Martha fidgeted nervously. "Um, Emily..." she began hesitantly, "what happened last night?"

I frowned as I looked at her in confusion, "What do you mean?" I thought what happened was pretty straight forward, if terrifying.

"Well, for starters, who was that guy that helped us?" she said.

"Oh, him." I said, looking down. I'd forgotten that she didn't know about him. "I've been seeing him around since the airport. I don't know who he is."

"What, he's stalking you or something?!" Martha exclaimed.

I shrugged, "I don't know. But if he wanted to hurt me he's had plenty of chances. He obviously knows where I live and work; I've seen him here and there a couple of times."

"Why didn't you say something about him before now?" Martha demanded, obviously mad at me for holding back from her.

"I didn't want to worry you." I mumbled.

"Oh, Emily, what am I going to do with you?" Martha sighed. "You need to tell me when stuff like this is going on. Even if he is harmless, which I'm not convinced of, it's creepy! Who is he, and why is he following you around? I'm glad he helped us, but for all we know he was behind those guys attacking us in the first place!"

"Don't be ridiculous! That only happens on TV. Why would anyone send two men to attack us, and then help us? It doesn't make any sense." I said.

"Okay, forget the mystery man for the moment. How did you throw that guy off of you?" Martha said.

"Huh? What are you talking about? I just panicked and swung my arms around randomly. I guess I caught him by surprise and he fell." I replied.

Martha shook her head, "No, that's not what happened. I mean, you did flail around wildly. But that guy, who was two or three times your size, was thrown a few feet up in the air and flew into that windshield with enough force to go right through it! I know you're not that strong!"

That part of the night hadn't really sunk in before then, and I was left feeling as confused as Martha. "Uh, adrenaline?" I said.

Martha frowned, "I don't know. Maybe." She shook that off and said, "What about what that guy said? Remember; he said, 'Be more careful next time, my lady.' Why would he call you 'my lady' like that?"

"How should I know?!" I grumbled. Then I froze as I finally remembered why he looked so familiar.

"Emily? Emily! What's wrong? You look pale!" Martha said worriedly.

"The first time I saw that guy I thought he looked familiar. I just finally remembered where I've seen him before. You remember the first dream I had?" I said.

Martha frowned in thought, "Uh, wasn't that the one with the immortal guy, and all the weird magical people showing up all over the place?"

I nodded, "Yeah, that's the one. That's where I've seen that guy's face before! He looks just like the immortal guy from my dream!"

---

To Be Continued…