Mona Lisa

Mom clapped her hands together and beamed across the table. Carly and I went silent. I stared at Mom as I digested the news, my fork frozen on its way to my mouth.

“Well, don’t all cheer at once!” She gibed, as her furrowing brow betrayed a taint of hurt.

A FRENCH TWIST

Chapter 1 — Home — June 2009

I stared in the mirror at the faint scar across the bridge of my nose, wondering if I would ever overcome my fear. The events behind that scar had taken place five states away, and yet they haunted me as though they had happened in my own front yard.

I looked out my window at the half a dozen kids chasing each other on their rollerblades, shouting, laughing and enjoying the start of summer vacation. They were free from school, but more importantly, they were free from fear — and I had yearned for their freedom every day of my life.

“Chrissy! Dinner’s ready!”

“Coming, Mom!”

I walked across my bedroom to my aquarium full of angel fish and gave them their dinner before I headed downstairs for mine. For a moment, I watched the fish swim around, transfixed by the effortless grace of their movements. I identified with the limitation of their existence, but at the same time, I envied the fish the safety of their world, a world free of hate.

Shaking my head to bring myself back to reality, I turned and headed downstairs.

* * *

“You look pretty, Chrissy!”

“Thanks, Carly!”

I smiled at Carly as I sat down at the table. Carly was a pretty cool little sister and she was only two years younger. We got along nicely. Mom brought us steaming plates full of spaghetti and garlic bread and placed them next to our salads. She had an impish grin on her face and a twinkle in her eye.

Hmmm. Something’s up. I just know it!

“Go ahead and start, you two.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Carly kidded.

“That’s our Carly.” I joked.

Carly merely smiled at me.

Mom went back for her own plate and we started in. Before long, she sat down, smiling at us mischievously.

“I have great news!”

“What’s that, Mom?” Carly playfully challenged her through a mouthful of garlic bread.

“We’re going to Paris for the last two weeks of July!”

Mom clapped her hands together and beamed across the table. Carly and I went silent. I stared at Mom as I digested the news, my fork frozen on its way to my mouth.

“Well, don’t all cheer at once!” She gibed, as her furrowing brow betrayed a taint of hurt.

“Um, Mom? That’s great news and all, but, who will take care of Frankie?” Carly asked on behalf of her beloved cat.

“Emma’s coming to house sit for us. She will take very good care of Frankie,” Mom turned to me, “and your angel fish, too, Chrissy.”

Carly and Mom excitedly chattered about the trip. I, on the other hand, was silent. I unconsciously fingered the little scar on the bridge of my nose as a thousand pressing concerns invaded my mind.

Emma was my mother’s best friend and Carly and I loved her like an aunt. Unfortunately, Emma knew me as Christopher. She had no idea that Chrissy existed.

I pictured the svelte platinum blonde walking into my room, uttering a startled gasp and staring in disgust at my female belongings. Like every other girl, I had dresses, skirts and blouses in my closet and my dresser was crowded with cosmetics, jewelry and hair supplies. I had a couple of stuffed animals resting in front of my pillows. On my nightstand was a small vase with a flower that I kept there because I liked what it did for me. My mind was fraught with images of Emma flipping out, running from the house, and screaming to anyone who would listen that a freak lived there.

I realized that I was going to have to remove every expression of my true self from my own room unless I wanted to come out to Emma.

I felt my teeth grind as I thought about having to “sanitize” my room for Emma. It wasn’t fair! Carly didn’t have to “sanitize” her room!

Frustration throbbed within me like electricity in a live power line as I realized that I would have to travel to Paris as a boy and remain a boy the entire time. My passport and driver’s license still said I was male — not that it mattered, because I was too terrified to dress as a girl in public. I was so tormented by my own demons that I could not find it in me to show my true self — no matter how badly I wanted to. That meant I would have to be a boy in Paris if I wanted to see any of the sights. I was so filled with angst that I wanted to cry.

Tears stung the inner corners of my eyes, but I held myself together because Mom was proud that she could offer us this trip. She wasn’t made of money and I knew she must have worked hard for it. I was very grateful for everything Mom had done for us. I knew that I should be jumping for joy like Carly and thanking my mother profusely, but my life was such a mess that all I could do was gawp at her. I felt like such an ungrateful bitch.

I was still wordlessly staring at Mom across the table with the corners of my mouth twitching when she finally noticed the expression on my face.

“Chrissy? What’s the matter, honey?”

I looked down at my plate as I felt darkness fill my soul.

“Everything’s the matter.”

I slowly looked back at my mother with a very apologetic look on my face. She looked at me with empathy and reached over to gently touch my cheek.

“Oh, honey, I know that life is difficult for you right now — and this trip will be no exception - but I don’t want you to have to miss out on all of the wonderful things in life. You shouldn’t have to miss out because of who you are or because of what you’ve been through. It’s only two weeks and then you can come straight home and be a girl again — at least for a while before school starts.”

She might as well have said, “You’ll only have a red-hot poker jammed up your ass for two weeks. No biggie.”

Carly was quiet as she listened to all of this. She was probably nervous that Mom would scrap the trip because of me and my problems.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go as a boy.” I assured them, with a hitch in my voice. “I’ll pack up my female things while we’re gone so Emma won’t see them.”

“Oh, God, I didn’t even think of that — and that means extra packing, you poor girl. Well, I’ll help you pack, how about that?”

“Okay.” I smiled weakly at Mom.

“You sure are a good sport.”

Carly and Mom hugged me at the same time.

“Thanks, Chrissy!”

“You’re welcome.”

I spent the rest of the meal trying to convince myself that seeing Paris would be worth it, even if I had to spend the entire trip pretending to be a boy who never existed.

* * *

After dinner, I stood before my mirror again, staring at my scar, this time in tears. I felt a million emotions at once and I had an awful need to vent my frustrations. I had to do something before I exploded.

I had started swimming when we moved into that house. It had a pool in the backyard and swimming turned out to be just what I needed to stay sane. Whenever things felt overwhelming I could have a swim and it helped me vent my buildup of emotion. I knew it would help with my current frustration as well.

I changed into my purple one-piece swimsuit and headed out to the backyard to swim.

* * *

While I walked toward the pool, my mind was gripped with the image of walking out my front door dressed as a boy and looking back at my house, where my true self was packed in a suitcase and hidden away. My tears flowed as I stepped into the pool. I spent so many years knowing I’m a girl and being unable to do anything about it. I finally came out to my family during my spring break this year and I finally got to be myself — at least around the house — and now I have to give myself up for two weeks to go to Paris! I feel so frustrated that I can’t just be myself in the world! I hate that I can’t go back to school as the girl I am and be happy! My therapist even says it’s okay, but I still can’t do it because I’m too fucking afraid to dress as a girl anywhere outside my house ever since I was attacked! Fuck, it’s been close to two years and I’m still too afraid! It’s so fucking ridiculous but I still can’t help it!

I could not handle my own emotions any longer and I wept bitterly. I wiped my tears by dunking my head in the water. I felt a wave of anger wash over me and I launched myself into a fierce breast stroke to vent.

Chapter 2 — Missouri - Halloween 2007
Author's note: This chapter contains some violence. If you'd rather not read violence then you should skip to Chapter 3.

It was hard to come up with a costume that would allow me to dress as a girl without anyone knowing it. An androgynous costume wasn’t good enough. It had to look like a male costume.

We lived in Missouri, in the kind of town where the only acceptable rainbows were the ones in the sky - and even those were jeered at. I feared for my safety if anyone knew I was dressing as a girl.

I decided I would be a rock star. I could be a female rock star but tell everyone that I was a male rock star. There were plenty of straight male rock stars who had long hair and wore some face makeup. It would be easy to pull it off!

I dressed myself in a white cotton t-shirt with the sleeves torn off, black jeans, a red studded leather belt, and black sneakers. I wore my hair long and tousled and added a dab of black eyeliner, a touch of black mascara and bit of black lipstick to complete the look.

I headed into the kitchen to have breakfast and sat down at the table with a bowl of my favorite cereal doused with fresh milk. Carly giggled at my costume.

“Cool costume!” She approved.

“Thanks, sis! I love your Hillary Clinton costume. That’ll scare the shit out of people around here!”

“Yup!” Carly giggled again, and Mom just shook her head at me and rolled her eyes.

I laughed with Carly, but inwardly, I felt nervous about looking too much like a girl. What if…

“I don’t look like a girl or anything, do I?” I blurted.

Carly looked at me for a moment.

“Nah. Lots of male rock stars dress like that. It’s just part of the rebellious look.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want to get beaten up.”

“You won’t.”

“Thanks, sis.”

“No worries.”

As I ate, I checked the newspaper for the day’s weather forecast. The paper informed me that the daytime high would be 41F/5C. Aw, shit! How can I be a fucking rock star if I need a fucking coat? Rock stars don’t wear parkas! If I wear a heavy coat I’ll get laughed at. Hell, I get laughed at if I sneeze wrong! Fucking hick town with its fucking hick school! I smirked at myself. At least I’ve got the language right for a rock star!

I thought about it for a moment and decided I would only be exposed to the cold during the walk to and from school. Screw it! I went back to my room and grabbed a black Metallica sweatshirt. I threw it on over my outfit, grabbed my backpack, and headed for school.

* * *

The day passed with nothing worse than a few cruel words from the usual homophobic troglodytes — but that was nothing I couldn’t live with. It was when I walked home that things took a dire turn.

I walked home along a street where the houses on one side had backyards abutting an expansive stretch of woods. As I passed a red house with white trim, I looked up at the sky and I could tell it would rain soon. The newspaper didn’t say anything about rain, the fucking useless rag!

While I was looking up at the sky, Logan and Tadd, my infernal twin nemeses, stepped out from behind the red house. Oh shit. I stopped in my tracks.

Tadd and Logan always had the meanest things to say to me. They gave me the hardest time at school. I consoled myself with the knowledge that they never went past words. This would be irritating — and it might hurt, but it would be over soon.

Assholes.

“Well, check this shit out!” Logan spat, making it clear that he was referring to me.

Logan and Tadd were dressed up as Spanish Inquisition priests and I couldn’t resist a gentle jibe at them.

“Cute dresses, ladies. Burn any witches today?”

“Oooh! Look who’s getting sassy!” Tadd retorted. “Did you play with dolls today?”

Logan laughed as I stared at Tadd in fear.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t you like dolls, Chrissy?”

Suddenly I felt cold. They know. Oh, my God, they know!!

“Are you a girl, Chrissy?”

“Yeah, is that why you’re wearing makeup, Chrissy?”

“No! I’m dressed as a rock star. Lots of them wear makeup. Guys, too!”

“Only the fag-ass queer-baked ones!”

“Yeah, Chrissy!”

I took an involuntary step back.

“So when’re you getting your balls cut off, Chrissy?” Tadd jeered at me, eliciting a roar of laughter from Logan.

I swallowed harshly.

“Shut the fuck up and leave me alone!” I tried to push my way past them and head for home.

“What do you think, Tadd? Trick or Treat?”

“Trick!”

They both started laughing and before I knew what the hell they were talking about, they grabbed me, causing me to drop my backpack.

“What are you doing! Let go!”

I struggled, but they were far stronger than I was. Tadd clamped his meaty hand over my mouth and they dragged me behind the houses and into the woods.

“Get his backpack!”

“You mean her backpack!”

Logan picked up my backpack and threw it deep into a cluster of bushes while Tadd continued to drag me into the woods. Logan grabbed a coil of nylon clothesline from somebody’s backyard along the way, making my eyes open wide. What the hell were they going to do to me?

They brought me out to a clearing with a tree in the middle, where we were out of earshot of the houses. They backed me up against the tree and Tadd pulled my arms around the tree behind me. He held my arms while Logan bound my wrists together.

“What the fuck are you doing? Let me go!”

When he was done, he wrapped the rest of the rope around my waist and my chest and tied it off behind the tree. I was securely tied to the tree. Try as I might, I could not free myself. Tadd and Logan had taken things to an entirely new level - and I had a very bad feeling. My mouth went dry.

“What are you going to do to me?”

They answered by laughing at me. Logan struggled to keep a straight face as he abruptly pointed at me.

“Confess your sins before God!” He ordered.

“What?? What sins? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“God made you a man but you act like a girl!”

“Me?? You’re the ones wearing dresses!!”

“Silence, sinner!” Logan barked. “Confess your sins before God so that we can save your soul!”

Tadd loudly cackled at that.

“B-but God loves me the way I am! I haven’t done anything wrong!” I trembled.

“May God have mercy!” Logan growled, and they both cracked up.

To my horror, they both picked up rocks. Oh fuck!! I frantically tried to free myself but it was no use.

“Oh shit! Please don’t! Please-”

They threw their rocks at me and both scored direct hits against my chest.

“Ow!! Jesus!!” I started to lose it and tried to reason with them. “Okay, look, you’ve had your fun!! You win!! You’re scaring the shit out of me!! You win, okay?? Now let me go!!”

At that moment, I felt tears leak from my eyes. Shit!! Oh shit!! Not tears!! Not now!! Their response was to pick up more rocks and hurl them at me. One banged into my stomach. A jagged rock nailed me between the eyes and I felt blood drip down my nose.

“Ow, shit!! That hurts!! Please stop!! Please!!”

A rounded rock smashed me in the mouth and chipped a tooth, drawing more blood as it pressed my lip against the broken tooth. Now I all-out panicked, tears running down my face, the assholes still laughing at me — and still throwing rocks.

“Help!! Police!! Somebody help me!!”

Logan picked up a larger rock and winged it at my crotch. I couldn’t move out of the way and it nailed me right where Logan intended it to. I couldn’t even yelp in pain it hurt so badly. I began to feel nauseous.

At that moment, it began to rain lightly. I hoped and prayed that the rain would end their onslaught. Please, God!

“Shit, it’s raining too hard. Come on, let’s go,” Logan urged.

“Hang on. I just want to get in one more good shot.”

“Okay, fine. Hurry up!”

Logan looked around, making sure nobody was around. At that moment, Tadd picked up a baseball-sized rock and hefted it in his hand.

Hoooooly Jesus, Mary, Mother of God!

Tadd threw the rock at my face - hard. I tried to dodge the rock, but it still glanced heavily off of one side of my head. I felt blood spilling down my face and my neck and I was extremely dizzy. Everything went black and as I faded out, I heard Logan barking at Tadd.

“You fucking idiot! You killed him!”

“Oh shit! Let’s get out of here!”

I had just enough time to wonder if I really was dying.
And that was it.

* * *

A short time later, I awoke to find myself shivering amid a cold, heavy downpour. Logan and Tadd were gone. My head hurt terribly — along with the rest of me — and I was still tied to the tree. I was soaked to the bone and my cotton clothing kept the cold moisture against my skin. I tried to free myself, but my effort was in vain. The more I tried, the dizzier I got until I passed out again.

* * *

I awoke again to a frigid breeze in my face and the sound of voices. As I opened my eyes, I saw that it was dark and I was alone. The light of a full moon glinted from moisture clinging to trees and puddles in leafs on the ground. I heard someone stepping through twigs and mud, coming around from behind me.

In the moonlight, I caught a glimpse of a solitary figure. I saw an angel! She had blue eyes that sparkled in the moonlight and curly, strawberry blonde hair that blew gently in the breeze. Her face glowed a ghostly white. She even had small white wings. She looked very concerned.

“Can you hear me? Are you okay?”

I moaned and I blacked out again.

* * *

I had another brief moment of consciousness during which I found myself lying on the ground a few feet from the tree, the ropes lying on the ground, tangled around its trunk. The angel was gone.

I heaved myself to my feet and tried to walk home, but I only managed two steps before I collapsed and passed out again.

* * *

I came to in the back of an ambulance. My mother was with me, holding my hand and looking concerned. The sirens on the roof chirped intermittently and I felt the motions as the ambulance made its way through traffic. My wet clothes had been removed and I was wrapped in an electric blanket.

“Chrissy? Sweetie? Can you hear me?”

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” the medic observed as he checked my vital signs.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Oh, thank God! How are you feeling?”

“I hurt. Everywhere.”

“You’re going to be okay. I promise you that. Can you tell me what happened?” The medic inquired.

I slowly rolled my eyes to look at the medic.

“Th-they tied me to a tree.” I paused to take a break. “They th-threw rocks at me.”

“My God!” Mom gasped.

“Did one of those rocks hit you in the head?”

“Three of them. One big one.”

“Did the big one hit you on the side of the head?”

“Yeah.”

“And another one hit you in the mouth?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Well, don’t worry. We’ll fix you up.”

“Thank you.”

“Just doing my job.” The medic shrugged as the sirens chirped again.

I looked back at my Mom.

“Mom?”

“Yes, honey?”

“I s-saw an… angel. I th-think she untied me.”

“You saw an angel?”

“Yeah. An angel.”

The medic looked very concerned.

“The police found you on the ground near that tree and you were alone. They told us that you freed yourself and tried to walk home.”

“I s-saw her.”

“Well, you were probably hallucinating. You’ve got moderate hypothermia and probably a concussion and these things can sometimes make our minds play tricks on us.”

“Oh.”

She was just a hallucination? That was it? I began to feel depressed. Then I felt dizzy again. Just before I passed out, I heard the medic tell my mother that I was very lucky. The outdoor temperature had dropped near freezing when the rain came in. If I had been out there much longer, I would probably not have survived the exposure.

* * *

That attack changed everything. My mother pulled me out of school immediately. Then she pulled Carly out of her school. She intended to relocate her children to a safer place. After doing some research, she decided to move us near San Francisco.

That was not the only consequence of the attack. I had always fantasized about buying my own female clothing. Before the attack, I had managed to acquire a skirt, top and shoes and I was working up the nerve to take a walk in them. After the attack, I threw the clothes away because I had become too terribly afraid to be myself in public.

Chapter 3 — Leaving for Paris — July 2009

My packing was done and we were due to catch a plane in just under three hours. The taxi would arrive soon, but I was still dressed in a camisole top under an open button front shirt and a denim skirt. I had long since decided that I would remain a girl until the last possible moment — which was rapidly approaching.

I looked into my mirror, studying the faint scar across the bridge of my nose where the rock had hit me. I wondered how much that scar had to do with my fear of dressing as a girl in public. I never could look at it without remembering. I softly sighed as I looked around the room, now sterilized of any personal expression, and felt as empty as the room looked. I glanced at the outfit of boys’ clothes I had laid out on my bed, awaiting the dreaded change back to boyhood. I hadn’t touched my boys’ clothing since school let out and I really hated to have to put it back on.

On either side of the outfit were two open suitcases that my mother had bought me to pack my clothes in when we moved near San Francisco after I was attacked.
The suitcases were identical, save for their contents. One of them now contained all of my female clothing, cosmetics, jewelry and hair supplies. It wasn’t an extensive collection. I only had enough to keep me going as a girl around the house for the summer.

The other suitcase contained my boy clothes for the trip to Paris. I looked at that suitcase with dread, as though it were full of straitjackets. I wished that I could throw it out the window, never to look at it again.

“Chrissy?”

“Yeah, Mom!”

“The taxi will be here any minute and it’s late so be ready to go the second it arrives, please!”

“Okay, I will!”

I sighed as I removed my female clothes, put them in the suitcase with the rest of my female belongings and dressed myself in the boys’ clothes. I had picked out a khaki pair of cargo shorts, a peach colored t-shirt and a white pair of unisex sneakers because they were the most androgynous boys’ clothes I owned. I looked at myself in my mirror and hated what I saw. I was only five feet tall and boys clothes were always big on me. I looked stupid!

I felt empty as I closed up each suitcase and locked each one with a small padlock. I put both suitcases on the floor side by side and went to use the bathroom.

It was when I came back that I realized that I had forgotten which suitcase was which. I heard a car pull up outside and I knew I was out of time.

“Chrissy, the taxi is here and we’re late for our flight! You need to come down right away! Come on!”

Oh shit!

I had to open up a suitcase to make sure I got the right one. I reached for the zipper on one suitcase but before I could grasp it, I heard my mother’s voice again.

“Chrissy! Come on, honey! Quickly!”

Shit! Time for a split second decision. Okay. I think I put the girls’ clothes down on the… left.

I picked up the suitcase on the left and put it at the back of my closet. Then I grabbed the remaining suitcase — and my carry-on - and hustled downstairs.

“Hurry up and get in the taxi, sweetheart!”

“Okay, Mom!”

I hauled my suitcase out to the cab and headed for the trunk. The driver took my suitcase from me and put it inside next to Carly’s. Carly was already in the car and I got in next to her. Seconds later, Mom climbed in the front seat and we were off.

Chapter 4 — Arrival in Paris — July 2009

The bellboy opened the door to our room for us and brought in our luggage, setting each suitcase on a collapsible luggage stand. Before he was done, a second bellboy rolled in a cot and set it up. Mom tipped both of them and closed the door.

I was quite happy with the room. It was very clean and fairly spacious, with nice furniture and a partial view of the city.

“Well, here we are! I don’t know about you two, but I’m going to do some unpacking and then we’ll have dinner. Sound good?”

“Sure, Mom!” Carly enthused.

“Yeah. Sounds good.” I tried to be congenial.

I seemed to be the only one who wasn’t in a great mood despite the journey. Mom gave me an apologetic look, a wink and a smile before attending to her unpacking.

I opened my suitcase to unpack and froze where I stood. The suitcase was full of my female clothing! I had brought the wrong suitcase! Oh my God!

“Chrissy? What’s wrong?” Carly wondered aloud, noticing the look on my face.

“I don’t know whether to be upset or… thrilled.”

“Huh?? What are you talking about?” Carly followed my gaze and looked at my suitcase.

“Oh, Chrissy.”

“What’s going on, you two?” Mom inquired pleasantly as she carefully removed some of her clothing from her suitcase.

I grabbed the outfit I’d been wearing right before we left the house and, since I had been wearing panties beneath the boys’ clothes, I changed where I stood. Then I tucked the boys’ clothes into an empty drawer in the dresser.

“You guys?”

Mom turned around, not hearing an answer to her question. When she saw me she stared at me and I sighed miserably.

“I brought the wrong suitcase. I brought my girls’ clothes.” I started rambling. “I put the suitcases down next to my bed and I went to use the bathroom and when I got back I forgot which was which and the taxi arrived and I had to leave and I thought I put the girls clothes down on the left so I grabbed that one and I stuck it in my closet and brought the other one and it’s the wrong one. I’m really sorry. I honestly did not do that on purpose.” I managed in one breath.

Mom gently put an affectionate hand on my shoulder.

“Oh, honey, I know you didn’t do it on purpose. You’re still too afraid to be a girl in public — oh, shoot!” Mom thought for a moment. “What are you going to do tomorrow? Are you going to be able to come sightseeing with us?”

I hung my head miserably.

“I don’t think I can, Mom,” I said, almost whispering. “I’m sorry.”

A couple of tears leaked from my eyes and Mom hugged me tightly.

“Don’t be sorry, honey. It isn’t your fault. Any of it. You didn’t ask to be born transsexual and you didn’t ask to be attacked.”

I smiled pitifully at Mom.

“We can get you some boys’ things to wear. Paris is great for shopping, you know!”

“Boys’ things?”

“Well, yeah, if that’s what you need for now. I don’t want you to miss out, honey.”

I thought for a moment.

“I don’t want to wear boys’ things anymore. I would really rather just stay around here where I can at least be myself. I just… I can’t go back to being a boy. Even on the plane I could only do it because people thought I was a girl anyway. I’m sorry, Mom. I’m really sorry. I just… can’t…”

And I burst into tears. Mom hugged me again and Carly joined in, making it a group hug.

“You don’t have to apologize, honey. I’ll tell you what. Let’s have something to eat, huh? Maybe we’ll have a yummy desert, too! We’ll all feel better.”

I smiled weakly at my Mom.

“Sounds good to me.”

Chapter 5 — Paris: Day One — July 2009

I awoke to the sound of running water and mother-daughter chatter. As I opened my eyes, I realized that I was the last one to crawl out of bed. I was in a so-so mood as I stood up and stretched, picked an outfit for the day and headed for the bathroom. The door was closed, so I knocked.

“Can I come in?”

“No, not yet! I’m still changing!” Carly answered.

“We’ll be done in a minute, sweetie!”

“Okay.”

Good thing I showered last night.

I disrobed and slipped on a padded bra and fresh panties. I followed them with a denim skirt and tank top. I finished my look with my favorite strappy sandals, and dug in my suitcase for a brush. I stood before the mirror over the dresser brushing out my hair and pulled part of it back with a hair claw. My family came out of the bathroom just before I finished.

“Good morning, sweetie. You sure look cute today!”

“Yeah, Chrissy, I like your outfit.”

I smiled pleasantly at them.

“Thanks, you two.”

“We called room service before you got up. I ordered you a Belgian waffle. I hope that’s okay.”

“Yeah, that’s great!” I salivated. I loved Belgian waffles!

“Chrissy are you going to come sightseeing with us? We’re going to the Louvre!”

I knew that Carly was only trying to help, but she had inadvertently made me jealous and my mood plummeted. I was really hoping to see the Mona Lisa and the Birth of Venus and now I was missing my chance.

“I wish I could, Carly. I really do. But I just don’t think I can.”

My family hugged me, and it felt wonderful, but I was still plunged into depression.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time. We’ll all have dinner together okay?”

“Okay. I’ll just stay around here and read. I’m going to try to make myself swim, too. Let’s hope for the best.”

“Yeah, let’s hope.” Mom squeezed my shoulder and then our chat was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“That’s probably our breakfast.” Mom stood and answered the door.

The waiter brought a table into the room and began setting it up. I could smell my waffle and suddenly I was ravenous.

* * *

My family was at the Louvre and I was alone in the room. I stood at our window and looked out over the view, absently fingering the scar on my nose and feeling sorry for myself because I couldn’t face being in public the way I was dressed. With a sigh, I grabbed my book and sat in a chair to read for a few hours.

When lunch time came around, I looked through the room service menu and ordered a club sandwich and a lemonade. It wasn’t until I heard the knock at the door that my heart started pounding. I hadn’t felt nervous when breakfast arrived, but I wasn’t alone and I didn’t have to say anything. Now, I had to answer the door and be pleasant.

“I’m coming!”

I put my book down, took a deep breath and opened the door. I recognized the same waiter from that morning and felt some relief. He had already seen me and showed no signs of knowing about me. After he placed the small tray with my sandwich and drink on the table, I signed the bill with a smile and gave him a twenty percent tip. Then he was gone.

Lunch was bittersweet. It tasted wonderful, but I spent the time looking out the window at what little of Paris I could see, wishing I was out there seeing it closer up with Mom and Carly.

When I finished eating, I went back to my book, but after an hour, I heard the sound of a vacuum cleaner and sat bolt upright. The housekeeping staff was in the hallway! They were cleaning the rooms on our hall! I put my book down and paced, trying to figure out what to do. I couldn’t make up my mind until the housekeeping staff did it for me by knocking on the door.

“Housekeeping!”

Shit! Damn it! Well, I guess I’m going swimming!

I grabbed my one piece swimsuit and my room key and headed for the door.

“Hi. Go on in.”

“Thank you.”

The housekeeper smiled as though she had no idea about me. I smiled in return, then turned my back, and headed for the elevators.

* * *

The elevator lobby was deserted, much to my relief. My hand trembled as I pressed the UP button. I tried to reassure myself that I was very unlikely to suffer another attack inside a hotel. There were way too many witnesses within earshot if not within sight. It would be okay. The waiter didn’t seem to know that I was trans. Neither did the housekeeper. Maybe nobody would. Besides, I really needed to feel my tension melt away into the cool water of the swimming pool as it flowed around my body.

When the elevator arrived, there was a forty-something man in it with his two preteen girls. I had read somewhere that girls that age were the best at spotting girls like me!

Shiiiiiiiiiit!

I tried to smile as I stepped into the elevator, praying that they couldn’t hear my heart hammering against my ribs. As the elevator rose, I thought about how I wanted to handle things when we got off. But then the elevator stopped two floors up and the family got off. They weren’t going to the pool after all!

Thank God!

I breathed a huge sigh of relief after the elevator doors closed and the elevator resumed its ascent to the rooftop pool. God, I’m a mess! Well, it will be better once I’m in the pool.

When the doors opened at the roof, I was greeted with a blast of sunshine and a gust of warm, humid outdoor air. It was nice weather for a swim. The pool was empty, much to my delight.

With trepidation, I approached the attendant, who sat behind a tall counter in front of a veritable wall of towels wearing a name tag reading Jean-Pierre.

“Could I have a towel please?” I squeaked.

“Of course,” Jean-Pierre flashed me a big, goofy smile as he answered with his French accent.

Wait a second. Is he… flirting with me? Gawd, I hope not!! He’s like thirty — and I like girls!!

When he handed me the towel he also handed me a key to a locker.

“The girls’ room is right over there,” he pointed to a door at the other side of the pool, as he gave me another big smile.

I froze as I realized that I had a problem. Jean-Pierre was expecting me to walk right into the girls’ locker room!

Oh shit! I should have known I would need a place to change! I guess I wasn’t thinking when I ran out of my room. What do I do now? I can’t go in the women’s locker room… can I? Well, Jean-Pierre seems as clueless as he does horny, so… maybe I can do it if I’m quick. Besides, if I don’t, he’ll know something’s up.

“Mademoiselle? You are okay?” He asked.

What is it with Jean-Pierre and his big, shit-eating smile? Okay, Chrissy. Smile. Now.

“Uh, y-yes, I’m okay, thank you.” I smiled crookedly at him.

I turned around and headed for the girls’ locker room. I had never been inside the girls’ locker room and I wondered what would happen. I hoped that Jean-Pierre wouldn’t hear a whole bunch of screams coming through the door in a minute.

I took a silent breath before I pushed open the door to the girls’ locker room and found… an empty locker room. As the door shushed closed behind me, I looked around at the bathroom without urinals, the tampon dispenser, and the makeup lighting around the mirrors. The pastel color scheme was very unlikely to be seen in a boys’ locker room… but I loved it. I noticed that the locker room featured a sauna. Nice touch, I thought.

For a moment, I stood in the middle of the room, as a cautious smile spread across my face. I felt comfortable in there — of course, that might change the moment another girl walked in. Speaking of which, I decided to hurry up and change.

I quickly stripped and slid on my swimsuit, adjusting it until it was comfortable, and hung my street clothes in my locker. I grabbed my towel, my room key and my locker key and headed for the door.

* * *

Walking out of the locker room, I felt a mixture of self-consciousness about my flat chest and relief that it was covered. Suddenly I was very glad that I had brought my female clothes to Paris. If not for that, I would be topless and I was no longer comfortable being topless.

I quickly placed my things on a lounge chair and hopped into the pool. It felt wonderful to have a swim and ease my troubles. I realized that I’d skipped my swim the previous day and I really needed to exercise.

I finished my third lap and came up for air to find an older man of perhaps sixty years getting a towel from Jean-Pierre. Jean-Pierre’s goofy smile must have been contagious because the older man was imitating it. Oh, please! Not both of them! Well, welcome to girlhood, I guess.

I realized that I was being treated as a girl and I shyly dunked my head underwater as I smiled so Jean-Pierre and the older guest wouldn’t think I was flirting with them. While I was underwater, I launched myself into my fourth lap.

As I came up for air, I saw the older guest looking at me a lot. I might have reminded him of his granddaughter or something, but I didn’t think a man his age should be looking at a girl my age quite that way!

Men!

I decided enough was enough when I finished my twenty-third lap and the older guest was still looking at me. I had already done a bit more than my usual twenty laps - and I had enough of being stared at by an older man. I hopped out of the pool, and wrapped my towel around me with my back to the two men, hoping to hide my flat chest from them. I grabbed my two keys and headed for my locker.

* * *

Safely inside the locker room, I sat down on a bench near the lockers for a moment. I thought about how I had felt being stared at. I wondered if every girl had to deal with such behavior from men and I knew that they did.

I had had my first taste of what it was like to be a girl outside the safety of home. I didn’t like what I’d experienced, but I realized that it didn’t matter. I was still a girl.

Being a girl had its downside, but I felt I could live with the downside of being a girl because I could be myself while dealing with it.

Digesting what I had learned, I showered, changed into my street clothes, and headed for the room.

* * *

I had been reading my book for a couple of hours, when my family arrived back at the room. Carly was chattering about the Louvre. I felt jealousy flaring within me, but I silently reminded myself that my predicament was not her fault.

“Carly, honey, do you mind if we have room service tonight?”

Carly paused for a moment.

“Oooooh! Not room service. We’re in one of the most beautiful cities in the world! Can’t we please go out to a restaurant? What do you think, Chrissy? Nobody would have any idea about you. Really!”

I felt another knot in my stomach.

“Oh, I-I don’t know. I don’t think I can walk into a restaurant. I went up to the pool, but there was only one other person there and-”

Mom’s face lit up.

“You did go to the pool? Well, good for you! You deserve to be wined and dined this evening. Are you sure you don’t feel up to it?”

I sighed again as I felt the familiar black clouds gathering over my head, ready to downpour into my soul.

“Yes. I’m sure. I’m sorry.”

“Aw, Chrissy, why don’t you come out and be a girl tonight? You are a girl, girl! You can’t hide forever. Christ, it’s been almost two years now!”

I felt chagrin and guilt flood my being, almost to the point of tears.

“I know, Carly! I know! Believe me, nobody wants me to walk out of this hotel as a girl more than I do!”

At this point, Mom took on her referee-Mom role.

“Carly, please try to understand Chrissy’s position. She came with an inch of her life because of a medical condition that is not her fault.”

“What medical condition?” Carly asked perplexedly.

“Honey, being transsexual is a medical condition. I did the reading on it and there is evidence that something goes wrong during the pregnancy. Something causes a hormone imbalance that in turn causes someone to be born with a mind of one gender and a body of the other. None of this is Chrissy’s fault and I’m sure it’s not fun to have to deal with that.”

“Well, it is her fault that she brought the wrong clothes!”

“Even if she had brought boys’ clothes, she’d be miserable wearing them. Maybe if I dress you up as a boy and march you down Avenue des Champs-Elysées you will understand!”

Carly was silent for a moment as she digested that thought. Mom continued right on talking as though I weren’t there.

“Well, that’s how Chrissy feels about it, too!”

Carly’s face clouded over.

“Mom, I don’t mean it like that! I just… I love having a big sister and I don’t want to have to leave her at home all the time.”

“Neither do I sweetie.”

Mom gave her a hug and then gave me one.

“But tonight, Chrissy’s not ready to be a girl in public-”

“You know, I am right here, Mom.”

Mom chuckled.

“Sorry. I know. Can we all agree to have room service at least for tonight?”

“Okay. Sorry, Chrissy.”

Carly gave me a hug and I embraced her in return.

“It’s okay. I know that I’m not the only one dealing with this.”

Mom smiled at her girls as she dug out the room service menu.

Chapter 6 — Paris: Day Two — July 2009

Our second day in Paris began like the first one. We had breakfast together in the room, and they headed out while I stayed behind. It was when I entered the girls’ locker room at the pool that my day took an unexpected turn.

After I signed for a towel and a key, complete with Jean-Pierre’s signature goofball smile, I walked into the girls’ locker room to find another girl in there. She was perhaps five years older than me. She was right in the middle of changing into her street clothes — and she was clearly not shy about her body! She made no attempt to cover up.

Oh, this could be bad!

I glided over to one of the shower stalls to change, hoping this would be considered normal for a girl who was self-conscious of her body. When I finished, I walked over to my locker — which, I found, was only four lockers away from hers. I smiled and went about my business — but she was the social type.

“Bonjour,” she said.

“Bonjour,” I replied, smiling sheepishly at my terrible accent.

Okay, this is not comfortable, but just stay calm. At least she has her underwear on now!

“You are, eh, American?” She asked with her French accent.

I looked both ways and brought my extended index finger to my lips.

“Shhhhh!” I kidded.

The unfamiliar girl laughed at me.

“That is okay. I do not hate Americans.”

“Oh, good!”

She giggled at me.

“What is your name?”

“Chrissy.”

“Like Christine?”

Christine. That’s pretty!

“Eh, yeah.” I smiled.

“My name is Ludivigne.”

Ludivigne extended her hand and I shook it - carefully.

“I like your name. It’s very pretty.”

“Thank you very much.”

I smiled quietly as I fastened the lock on my locker. This is fun — as long as she doesn’t catch on!

“What part of the US do you live in?”

“I live in San Rafael. It’s in California, near San Francisco.”

“Very nice!”

“What part of France do you live in?”

“I live in Toulouse, in the south of France. Smaller city. Not too small, but not big like Paris.”

“Very nice.”

“You are on vacation?”

“Yes. You?”

“I am also on vacation.”

Okay. This is fun, but I’m giving her an awful lot of time to look me over. I should really go before she figures it out.

“Well, my family will be back soon, so I have to go.”

“Okay. Nice to talk to you, Christine.”

“Nice to talk to you, too, Ludivigne. Bye!”

“Bye!”

We exchanged a last smile as I headed out the door. When I got outside the locker room, I exhaled with relief. It had gone well, but the potential for problems had never left the room. Then again, maybe she figured it out, and accepted me as a girl.

I had a good swim, changed in the now empty locker room, and headed back to the room. We had room service again, but this time Carly didn’t complain.

Chapter 7 — Paris: Day Three — July 2009

It was time for a swim and I headed up to the rooftop pool. When I walked into the locker room, I saw two thirty-something women in there, wearing only towels as they hung their clothes in their lockers.

Oh, crap. I’d better head for the shower stall again.

I headed straight there and changed into my swimsuit. The two women were on their way to the sauna when I walked out of the stall toward my locker. I stashed my clothes in my locker and left the locker room, breathing a sigh of relief, and headed for the pool.

* * *

I had finished my exercise for the day and was slowly swimming the length of the pool underwater when I heard someone else dive into the pool. Shit. Sounded too energetic to be that older man. I wonder who it is.

I came up for air and looked around to see a very pretty girl looking back at me. Her straight, light brown hair nicely framed her large, blue eyes. She was somewhere around my age and she had a big smile on her face. I felt myself lose track of everything in the universe other than her face and I had to silently prod myself back to reality.

“Hello! Do you speak English?” She asked hopefully.

“Yes, I do. I’m American.” I tried to smile. “My name’s Chrissy. What’s yours?”

“I’m Samantha.”

“Good to meet you, Samantha.”

“You too! I’m glad I’m not the only American here!”

She swam closer to me, still smiling.

“So where are you from?” She asked.

“I’m from San Rafael. It’s maybe fifteen minutes from San Francisco.”

“Cool!”

“Yeah. How about you? Where are you from?”

“I’m from Peabody, about half an hour from Boston.”

Boston?? Boston, Massachusetts?? Clear on the other side of the country Boston?? Damn it!!

“Oh, cool.”

“Yeah.”

The disappointment I felt in my heart was reflected in Samantha’s face.

“I hear Boston and San Francisco are a lot alike.” She bantered.

“Really? I’ve never been to Boston.”

“I’ve never been to San Francisco, either, but apparently they’re about the same size and they’re both on the ocean and stuff.”

“Oh, I see. Neat! Well, I’d love to see Boston sometime. I’ll be out of high school in two years and I know there are lots of good colleges out there.”

“Yeah there are.” Samantha’s face brightened. “Hey, I’ll be done with high school in two years, too. I’m sixteen, how about you?”

We’re even the same age? Aw, man!!

“I’m sixteen too.” I smiled at her, probably showing a touch of my sinking heart on my face.

“Cool!” She smiled, but then her smile dimmed.

I bet I know what you’re thinking.

“So how come you’re hanging around here instead of seeing Paris?”

I froze, having absolutely no idea how to answer that question. Fortunately, she continued right on talking.

“My mother’s attending the convention here. I came along because she thought she’d have time to see some of the sights with me, but then when we got here and she was handed her schedule it was booked solid until dinner every day. She won’t let me go by myself, so that means I’m stuck here at the hotel. At least there’s a pool and some decent sun, huh?”

“Yeah, at least there’s that.” I smiled at her again.

“So how about you? How come you’re stuck here?”

I took a deep breath as I looked around to see who else was in earshot. I saw the older man from the previous day getting a towel from Jean-Pierre and received another patented Jean-Pierre grin — from both of them.

Time to do what girls do — and hope Samantha doesn’t shoot me when I give her the honest answer to her question.

“Can we talk in the bathroom for a sec?”

Samantha’s eyebrows rose.

“Yeah. Of course.”

We hopped out of the pool, grabbed our towels and met at the door to the girls’ room.

* * *

The locker room was empty, but I took a quick look below all the stall doors to make sure. Samantha looked at me quizzically as we sat down on the bench near one bank of lockers.

“Sorry about all the cloak and dagger stuff,” I couldn’t help giggling nervously, “but it’s necessary for my safety.”

Samantha’s eyebrows rose higher.

“Who are you?” She giggled nervously.

I smiled ruefully.

“I’m nobody. I, um… the reason I need this privacy is that… well…” My mouth went dry. “I’m trans and-”

“Trans? What’s that?”

“Transsexual.”

“Oh! Is that all?” Samantha seemed relieved as she smiled at me. “Well, you don’t have to worry about me. My mother’s a doctor and she’s worked with several people like you. She’s also a firm believer in treating everyone equally and, well, so am I.”

I smiled cautiously back at Samantha, glad that she didn’t have a problem with talking to a girl like me while sitting in a girls’ locker room.

“So why are you hanging around the hotel? I couldn’t tell at all!”

“Thanks.” My smile broadened.

“You’re welcome.”

God, I like her!

“Well, I can’t deal with dressing as a boy anymore and I’m too scared to dress as a girl in public.”

“The pool isn’t in public?”

“Not really. There are only three other people up here, so it’s pretty private.”

“Well, yeah, I guess there is a difference between being here and walking down Avenue des Champs-Elysées.”

“Yeah. Anyway, that’s why I’m not out seeing the sights with my mother and my sister. I’m still just too afraid. I was afraid to come up here, too, but the maid showed up at our room and… I needed the exercise.”

Samantha was silent for a moment.

“Wow. Well, that must be hard to deal with.”

“Yeah, it is.” I watched my hands play with one corner of my towel as I felt my emotions swelling. “I am so frustrated that I can’t be myself and enjoy my life. I could be out there right now, seeing Paris with my family but instead I’m cowering and hiding at our hotel. We’ve even been having room service instead of going to restaurants at night. My therapist has even given me a green light to go back to school as a girl if I’m ready. I could be myself full-time and never have to dress like a boy again but I can’t because I’m too afraid. I hate being so afraid!”

I was struggling to hold my tears in, but I was a girl talking to another girl, in girls-only territory, and for the first time in my life, I let my tears flow unrepressed. To my surprise — and my delight — Samantha reached over to me and took me in her arms.

God, I really like her!

I gratefully wrapped my arms around her as I let myself vent for a few minutes.

“It is okay if I ask why you’re afraid?”

I sniffled and wiped a tear from one eye. Samantha and I continued holding onto one another.

“Yeah, of course.” I sniffled again. “It’s all because of what happened to me almost two years ago.” I paused as I gathered my thoughts and my memories.

“Wow, it’s been almost two years and you’re still feeling so afraid?”

I nodded.

“Well, whatever happened must have been awful!”

“Yeah, it was.”

Samantha gently squeezed me, sending shivers up and down my spine.

“What happened to you?”

I looked into her pretty eyes, amazed at the empathy I saw in them.

“I was attacked… and I almost died.”

Samantha’s eyes went wide as I told her about being grabbed, tied to a tree and stoned before being left for dead with hypothermia and a concussion. Suddenly Samantha was completely stunned.

“This was in Missouri?”

“Yeah.”

“And it was Halloween?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“A-and you were w-wearing a M-Metallica sweatshirt?” She stammered.

My jaw dropped. I had told her about the black sweatshirt, but I never mentioned that it said Metallica.

“How the hell did you-” I gasped in astonishment. “B-but you could only know that if… you were there!”

“I think I was!”

Oh my God, the angel!! But her hair was different.

“What did your hair look like two years ago? Was it strawberry blonde and curly by any chance?”

“Yes, it was!”

“And you were dressed up like an angel, complete with small wings and white face makeup?”

“Yes! I was!” She gasped. “Oh, my God!”

“You were the angel I saw! You untied me!”

“Yes!”

“While I was in the ambulance I told my mother that I had seen an angel. The paramedic said that the police found me alone on the ground, that I had tried to free myself and walk home, and that I had hallucinated the angel because of my condition. But I didn’t! You were really there!” I embraced her tightly.

“Yeah, I was there!” I felt her arms tighten around me.

“How did you know where to find me, anyway? I was pretty far out into the woods.”

“As I was walking home, I saw two other kids wearing scary masks with their street clothes. They must have been the same guys who were dressed as priests before because they were whispering something about making sure someone was dead. One of them said it was the other one’s fault for throwing a big ass rock at his head like a moron and now they had to make sure or they could go to jail. I followed them into the woods to see what they were talking about but stayed well out of sight. Then I saw you tied to the tree. You looked dead. One of them poked you and you didn’t move. Then the shorter one said, ‘He’s dead. Come on, let’s get out of here!’ Then they ran.”

“That was why I heard voices right before I saw you!”

“Yeah! Anyway, then they left, and I went up to you and asked if you were okay. You moaned, but you didn’t move or open your eyes. I went behind you and tried to untie you. At first I couldn’t see much because it was dark, but the moon came out from behind the clouds and that helped. Then I heard you moan again. I came around in front of you and your eyes opened for a second and I asked if you were okay. I knew you were alive, so I finished untying you and laid you down and then I ran for help. I’ll never forget that. It was really cold that day and you were soaking wet. You felt like an ice cube.”

“Yeah, I was hypothermic. The paramedics said that with a head injury and hypothermia setting in I would have died out there if someone hadn’t found me. Samantha, you saved my life. You are an angel.” I hugged her again. “Thank you for saving my life.”

“Well, you’re welcome, of course, but I was only doing what anyone else would have — or at least I hope anyone else would have — except maybe those two shits who did that to you. I wish I could have gotten them arrested, but I couldn’t identify them.”

“Yeah, we told the police who did it but it was their word against mine and there were two of them. Oh well, I survived so it’s okay.”

“Bullshit it’s okay! What happened to you was awful and unfair. You should not have to worry about being attacked like that. You are in Paris, one of the most beautiful cities on this planet, and you have every right to be out there like everyone else.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Samantha fell silent for a moment.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here with me. At least I have a friend to talk to while I’m stuck at this hotel.”

“I’m glad I’m here, too.”

There’s got to be some way we can do better than hanging around this fucking hotel. I can’t go on hiding from life. I have to overcome my fears and be myself in the world. Besides, Samantha came a really long way to be here, only to have her dreams dashed. She saved my life and I owe it to her to take her sightseeing. It’s the least I can do.

“Samantha?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think your mother would let you come sightseeing with me?” Her eyes lit up cautiously. “I mean… you have dreamed of seeing Paris and I have dreamed of being a normal girl in the world and, well, maybe we can make each other’s dreams come true. Besides, you saved my life and it’s the least I can do to thank you.”

Samantha’s whole face lit up and I could tell she had been hoping we could go sightseeing somehow.

“Well, if you’re sure you’re comfortable leaving the hotel, then I would love to come sightseeing with you and your family.”

Except I meant just the two of us. Damn it! Well, I’ll think of something.

“I’ll be okay with that. I’m just going to have to be. I can’t keep hiding anymore.”

"Then I accept!"

Samantha embraced me again and I had an idea.

“There’s just one more thing.”

“Okay.” She smiled at me in a way that said, “Name it.”

I love the way she’s looking at me right now. I wonder if… nah. Forget it. She lives too far away anyhow.

“I really want to see the Mona Lisa and The Birth of Venus at the Louvre.”

Samantha was still smiling at me.

“I do too. What’s the problem?”

“My family already went without me. Do you think it would be okay if we went sightseeing alone?”

Samantha’s face brightened several shades.

“I’m sure it probably would… but are you more comfortable with just the two of us? I mean, you know, safety in numbers and all.”

“Well, actually, we’ll attract a lot less attention if it’s just the two of us. My mother really sticks out.” I laughed. “So, I actually would be more comfortable if it’s… just us.”

Samantha’s smile brightened about a thousand watts.

“Well, I’m sure it would be more fun if we went alone.”

“I think so, too,” I returned her smile. “We’ll have to ask our parents and see what they say.”

“Yes, we will! Let’s exchange room numbers while we’re thinking about it.”

“Okay! We’re in 416. How about you?”

“We’re in 515.”

“Cool. I can remember that.”

“Yeah. I can’t wait to hear what my Mom says.”

“Me either. Well, we have a while before my mother gets back with my sister and-”

Here comes a mother and two daughters!! I looked back at Samantha.

“-maybe we should finish our swim, huh?”

“Yeah, let’s go swimming!”

As we went to stand up, I noticed that we still had our arms around each other and I couldn’t help but smile.

God, I like her!!!

“Come on!” She held out her hand to me and I happily took it as we walked out of the locker room side by side.

* * *

My mother’s face was full of surprise as I told her about Samantha and asked if we could go sightseeing alone together.

“Well, I’d like to meet Samantha and her mother first, but if I feel comfortable with them then the two of you can go sightseeing together. Fair enough?”

“Sure!” I smiled at my mother. “I’ll call Samantha and then you and her mother can-”

The phone started ringing and I felt butterflies within me as I went to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Chrissy. It’s me, Samantha.” She sounded apologetic.

Uh oh! Something’s wrong!

“Hi Samantha! Did you talk to your Mom?”

“Yeah, I sure did. She is willing to let me come sightseeing with you but she wants to meet your mother and she thought it would be fun for both of our families to have dinner together. She has reservations tonight that she made a couple of days in advance for this restaurant a few blocks from the hotel. I hope that’s okay?”

Dinner out? Oh shit! I was frozen for a moment. Oh shit. She didn’t tell her mother about me. She couldn’t have!

“Chrissy? Are you there?”

Damn it! Well, I am not going to ruin this for Samantha!

“Y-Yeah, I’m here.” I stammered. “I’m sorry. P-Please tell your mother that d-dinner out sounds nice and th-thank you.” I looked at my family questioningly.

Carly and Mom looked at me with their eyebrows raised in surprise. Mom smiled at me cautiously and nodded while Carly silently jumped up and down, clapping her hands quietly together.

“Okay, I’ll tell her! Can you meet us in the lobby at seven?”

“Yeah. Sure. I’ll see you at seven o’clock in the lobby.”

“Great! See you soon!”

“Yeah, see you soon!”

I hung up and turned to my family with a very nervous smile on my face. “Samantha tells me her mother has reservations at a restaurant a few blocks from the hotel — she made them two days ago — and anyway she has invited us to eat with her and Samantha. We’re meeting in the lobby at seven o’clock.”

“Are you sure, honey? I know how you’ve been feeling about that.”

I looked at my mother earnestly.

“Mom, Samantha has always dreamed of seeing Paris and now she’s here, but she can’t go sightseeing because her mother is here attending the convention and is busy all day long. I can make her dreams come true!” I paused. “Besides, it turns out that she’s the one who saved my life when I was attacked in Missouri. She was the one who called for help!”

Mom and Carly were astounded.

“She was there?”

“Yeah. Remember the angel I told you about?”

“Yes, why?”

“Well, it was Halloween and Samantha was dressed up as an angel when she found me. I didn’t see an angel after all. I saw Samantha!” I told them everything that Samantha had told me. “Anyway, I am not going to chicken out on her. She deserves this. It’s the least I can do!”

“Yes, she certainly does deserve it. I can’t wait to meet her and thank her.”

“Me too! I want to meet the girl who saved my big sister!” Carly enthused.

I smiled nervously and looked at myself in the mirror, knowing that I was going out to dinner as a girl for the first time in my life. I was incredibly nervous but I knew that this dinner was essential for Samantha to realize her dreams and I was determined not to ruin it for her. Samantha had saved my life!

* * *

At exactly seven o’clock, we met in the hotel lobby as planned. Samantha and I gave each other a big hug and she introduced me to her mother. Then I introduced her to my mother and my sister.

“Mom and Carly, this is Samantha.” I put my arm around Samantha and she reciprocated.

“So you’re the angel who saved my baby? Thank you so much!” My mother held out her arms to hug Samantha and I gracefully stepped out of the way.

When Mom was done, Carly hugged her, too.

“Yes, thank you very much for saving my big sister. I would have lost her forever if not for you.”

“Aw shucks.” Samantha blushed as her mother laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Honey, is there something you want to tell me?”

Samantha turned to her mother.

“Yeah, Mom. On our last Halloween night in Missouri, you were working that night and as I was walking home from school after dark…”

Samantha told the story of my attack and her rescue, leaving her mother as dumbfounded as mine had been when I told her Samantha had been there. Samantha’s mother looked at me with deep sympathy.

“My God, how awful that happened to you! Did you ever figure out why those boys attacked you that way?”

I glanced at Samantha, swallowed, and explained myself to her mother.

“Well, yes, I knew right away because they pretty much told me. Somehow, they had found out that I used to play with dolls with Carly — and that Carly always called me Chrissy when we did. I guess they didn’t like that.”

Samantha’s mother was puzzled.

“You see, at the time, I was living as a boy… because I was born a boy… or at least, my body was. I am transsexual and I was not out to anyone at the time I was attacked.”

“Oh, well that’s terrible! You should never have to live your life in fear that way!”

“You’re right, I shouldn’t.”

“Well, this is extraordinary!” Samantha’s mother continued. “You two were on opposite sides of the same horrific encounter and now you’re both here, at the same hotel in Paris, thousands of miles away!”

“That’s about the gist of it, yup,” Samantha grinned at her mother.

“Well, hell, let’s go celebrate!”

“Sounds great!” I looked at Samantha and smiled at her nervously as she took my hand.

“We’ll have a great time.” She assured me with another thousand watt smile.

With that, we headed for the front door… where I froze. Samantha leaned toward me, squeezed my hand and whispered in my ear.

“You’re safe with me. You are not alone this time, and I am going to hold your hand the whole time. Okay?” Samantha surprised me by kissing me on the ear!

God, I really, really like her!!!

I smiled warmly at Samantha as a tear slid out of my eye. I leaned toward her, and returned her gesture. Suddenly I felt a lot better — though I wasn’t going to let go of Samantha’s hand unless I had to!

I felt my legs moving again, and we left the hotel. As we stepped outside, I felt almost as though I were flying, airborne from a curious mix of fear and joy. I found it difficult not to look over my shoulder, but I worked at it and we enjoyed the walk. I couldn’t help but smile as I looked down at my hand still holding Samantha’s.

* * *

The waiter gave us a lovely table by the window. Samantha glanced at me with concern, but I moved toward the chair closest to the window and facing away from it. I directed Samantha toward the chair against the wall that would allow her to look outside. Somehow, we never let go of each other’s hands.

The dinner was delicious and none of the waiters seemed to notice anything unusual about me, apart from my being a tourist. I had hoped that Samantha's mother would get along with my family and we'd all become friends. It seemed that I was getting my wish in all respects.

After we ordered desert, my mother asked to speak with Samantha’s mother in the ladies’ room, and Samantha’s mother readily obliged. Samantha and I exchanged glances.

“You know they’re talking about you, right?” Carly smiled at us.

“Yes, I know.” I kidded my sister.

“My money’s on you two going sightseeing in the morning.” Carly declared.

I looked at Samantha.

“Somehow, I think she’s right.”

“I know she’s right.”

We continued chatting as our desserts were served. Samantha and I split an order of chocolate mousse while Carly had some French Vanilla ice cream.

Before long, the mothers returned from the ladies room, with smiles on their faces.

“Well, you two,” my mother addressed Samantha and I. “We had a nice chat in the ladies’ room-”

“Duh.” Carly chided through a mouthful of ice cream, eliciting a laugh from our whole table.

“Yes, Carly, duh.” Mom chuckled. “Anyway, we decided that we think you two should go out and see the sights tomorrow.”

“I knew it!” Samantha squealed.

“We all knew it!” I agreed.

Samantha and I hugged each other and exchanged bright smiles.

“Thanks for letting us!” I glanced at the two mothers and looked back at Samantha.

“Well, I guess your dreams are about to come true.”

“And yours already are.”

Samantha’s face was inches away from mine, and I felt a powerful temptation to kiss her hard right there in the restaurant. However, I doubted that either of us wanted to have our families around to watch us kiss. I knew I’d have to content myself with a different move.

“What do you say we have breakfast tomorrow?” I smiled at her.

“Breakfast sounds wonderful.” She smiled back.

Chapter 8 — Paris: Day Four — July 2009

“What do you think, Carly? Should I wear this camisole top with jeans or my peasant skirt?”

“Nah, don’t wear jeans on your first date!”

I looked at Carly with my eyebrows raised and Carly giggled at me.

“First date? What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about that girl likes you!”

A smile spread across my face.

“She likes me? You really think so?”

“Yeah, I do!”

“So do I.” Mom nodded at me. “It’s pretty obvious.”

“Wow! Well, it’s too bad she lives in Boston.”

“That is unfortunate. Now, don’t just stand there. Get dressed!” Mom gently prodded.

“Yeah, good idea. I’m going to wear the peasant skirt. I want to look my prettiest!”

“’Atta girl!” Carly grinned.

As I dressed myself, Carly’s revelation echoed through my mind. I’m talking about that girl likes you! I smiled at myself in the mirror as I brushed my hair. Samantha is one special girl. If she likes me then I am truly lucky. I have to look pretty today!

I fished in my suitcase for my cosmetics and got out my lip gloss and mascara. I studied my reflection as I put my face on and smiled when I was done.

“Very cute!”

“Thanks, Carly! Well I guess I’d better-” The phone rang, interrupting that thought. “Or maybe she’ll call me!” I joked.

“That is so classic!” Carly giggled.

I ran over to the phone and snatched up the receiver, wishing my family weren’t crowded into the room and eavesdropping.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, Chrissy. I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“Oh no. I’m just, um, finishing up getting dressed. How about you?”

“Same here. I’m just brushing my hair and stuff. Anyway, my mother is already gone to her next event at the convention, so I thought I’d ask if you’d like to have breakfast up here in my room.”

Breakfast alone with Samantha? Let me th–

“That sounds nice! I’d be glad to! Room 515, right?”

“Yup, that’s the one!”

“Cool. Do you want to give me a call when you’re ready for me?”

“Actually, I’m ready now, so come on up!”

“Okay. Here I come! See you soon!”

“Yup, see you soon!”

I hung up and turned to face my family.

“We’re having breakfast up in her room. Her mother’s already gone for the day, so-”

“You’re having breakfast alone together? Yeah, she likes you alright.” Carly smiled slyly at me.

“And Chrissy, the fact that she’s comfortable being alone with you in her hotel room means that you have her trust. A woman’s trust is a very precious gift.”

“I know. I am a woman, remember?”

Carly burst out laughing.

“Er, well, yeah. You just treat her right!” Mom chuckled, trying to be serious.

Carly and I exchanged glances and rolled our eyeballs at our mother.

“Mom, of course I will treat her right. When I have ever mistreated a girl?”

“Never. Okay, good point.” Mom chuckled. “But you see what I mean?”

“Yes, I do — and trust is extremely important to me. Don’t worry, I’ll be good to her.”

“Okay, honey-”

“Chrissy, she’s waiting! Get your ass upstairs!” Carly stood with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.

“Gawd, you’re right! I’ve got to go!”

With that, I grabbed my room key, put it in my handbag, kissed Carly, kissed Mom, and hurried out the door.

* * *

“Good morning, Chrissy!” Samantha hugged me.

“Bonjour, Mademoiselle!” I showed off my limited French as I hugged her back.

“You look really cute!”

“Thank you,” I beamed, “So do you!”

Samantha was dressed in a tiered, floral skirt with a white tank top and she looked beautiful.

“Come on in and sit down.”

“Sure!”

She closed the door and we sat on either side of a small table by her window.

“Oh wow, you can see the Eiffel Tower from here!”

“Yeah, we sure can. Nice, huh?”

“Yeah, very.”

We decided what we wanted and Samantha placed the call. While we waited for our breakfast to arrive, we talked about what sights we wanted to see.

“Chrissy, why don’t we start out with something close to the hotel?”

“Okay. What do you have in mind?”

“Frankly, I need some film for my camera, so I thought maybe we could walk to a nearby supermarket and see how that goes. I mean, I know they probably sell film downstairs, but this might be a good first step. It won’t take long and we’re not far from the hotel if things start to feel overwhelming.”

Aww, how sweet that she’s so considerate to me! God, I reeeeeeeeally like this girl!

“That sounds like a good plan.” I smiled at her. “I left my camera in California in the back of my closet where it’s super-useful!” I chuckled. “Hopefully they’ll have a disposable one at the supermarket.”

“They probably will.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, cool. So that’s where we’ll go first.”

We heard a knock on the door and opened the door for the waiter. Samantha signed for the bill and tipped the waiter. Alone again, we sat down to eat. I had a Belgian waffle and Samantha had a delicious-looking omelet. We had a wonderful time chatting and glancing at the Eiffel Tower. I couldn’t imagine a nicer way to have breakfast!

After breakfast, Samantha picked up her bag, and I grabbed mine. She took my hand, and we headed for the door. As Samantha opened the door to the room, I thought about walking around in broad daylight as a girl. My nerves kicked into high gear and Samantha noticed right away.

“Are you okay, Chrissy?”

“Yeah. Just a little nervous.”

“Okay, let’s close the door for a second.”

“Okay.”

Samantha closed the door, took my hands and looked me in the eyes.

“Chrissy, you will be safe with me. The assholes who attacked you are on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, thousands of miles away - almost the other side of the world. They’re not here to hurt you, okay?”

“I know.” I glanced sheepishly at the floor.

“I promise you that if someone even looks at you funny we will turn right around and hang out here or at the pool.”

Awww! She better be careful or she’s going to make me fall in love with her.

“Okay. Thank you for being so understanding.” I gave her a big hug which she readily returned.

“It’s my pleasure.”

I felt safe with Samantha. Maybe it was because she had saved my life, but I did.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Samantha took my hand and we walked out of the room.

* * *

The supermarket was not much different from the ones at home and it didn’t take long to find the film and disposable camera we were looking for. I had no problems — and it didn’t hurt that Samantha was still holding my hand.

As we walked back onto the street, Samantha smiled at me.

“You’re doing great so far. Where do you want to go next?”

“Well, a couple of years back, I remember seeing a bunch of stuff on TV about the tenth anniversary of Princess Diana’s death.”

“Oh yeah, I saw some of that too! That car accident took place around here somewhere.”

“Yeah. It’s right near here. I thought it might be interesting to visit.”

“I was kind of thinking I’d like to visit there, too. Do you know where it is more exactly?”

“My Mom said it was in the tunnel just on the other side of Pont De L’Alma. I guess we’ll have to ask someone where that is.”

“Yeah.”

As we reached the corner of Avenue Bosquet, we spotted a man waiting for a traffic light and asked for Pont De L’Alma. The person pointed northward along Avenue Bosquet and that was all we understood. We thanked him and walked up Avenue Bosquet until we reached a bridge, which we soon learned was Pont De L’Alma.

We paused along the bridge to take a few pictures and resumed our walk. When we reached the other bank of the river, we spotted the tunnel we were looking for. We made our way to the far side of the tunnel and turned right, walking down Cours Albert 1er. We stopped when we reached the ramp from Cours Albert 1er to Voie Georges Pompidou.

“I think this is the ramp where they said somebody waited for Diana’s Mercedes before following her through the tunnel. Then, somewhere in the tunnel, they got in front of the Mercedes and there was a bright flash — somewhere in there the Mercedes hit a small white car - and then the Mercedes hit the 13th pillar in the tunnel.”

“Yeah. Something like that.”

We moved to the very end of a low, black metal fence and peered toward the right into the tunnel, counting to the 13th pillar, imagining the scene unfolding before us. We took pictures of each other standing there near the tunnel and took a few more of the tunnel itself. Samantha was able to zoom her camera in on the 13th pillar.

“Well, I know that she was pretty much before our time, but she did a lot of good things for a lot of charities.”

“Yeah, I think her campaign against land mines even won a Nobel Peace Prize.”*

“Well, I’m glad we came here.”

“So am I.”

For several moments we stood there, arm in arm, silently honoring Diana and her life as traffic whizzed in and out of the tunnel, seemingly unaware of what had transpired there.

* * *

We took a break for lunch at the hotel, this time eating in the hotel’s dining room. I was still a bit nervous about being in public, but the delicious food and Samantha’s company made it more than with it. As we paid the bill, we decided it was time to visit the Eiffel Tower.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, we stood at the base of the Eiffel Tower, looking up the side along Avenue Gustave Eiffel. Samantha beamed up at the tower, ostensibly drinking in the moment as her dreams came true. I felt very glad that I came sightseeing with her.

She dug her camera out of her bag and placed it around her neck. I giggled at the sight.

“You look like a tourist.”

“I am a tourist. So there!” She stuck her tongue out at me, making us both laugh.

“Shall we head up to the top?”

“Definitely - in a minute. Come on!”

Still holding my hand, she led me across Avenue Gustave Eiffel and a short ways down Avenue Pierre Loti on one side of Parc Du Champs De Mars.

“Picture time!” She handed me her camera with a big smile on her face.

“Oui, Madame!” I smiled back and accepted her camera, reluctantly letting go of her hand.

We snapped several pictures together, including a few silly ones, just for fun, before we rejoined hands and headed for the tower.

* * *

Getting to the top of the Eiffel Tower was more of an effort than one might think. It wasn’t one long ride up in a single elevator. It was necessary to switch elevators along the way and there were lines to wait through.

The view, however, was worth it. We stepped off of the last elevator and found a sweeping view of the city surrounding us. The observation deck was closed in with a kind of wire mesh, presumably to prevent suicidal people from jumping from the tower, but the mesh easily admitted the viewer’s head to look at the view unobstructed.

Samantha and I took pictures of each other and found a willing volunteer to take pictures of us together, on both of our cameras.

That done, we stood before the view, talking and getting to know one other. We had a great deal in common and we bonded quite nicely as we stood there. The wind and other visitors’ voices made it a bit difficult to hear each other and we leaned in close to each other to chat.

Soon, the afternoon shadows grew long and we decided it was time to head back to the hotel for a swim.

Chapter 9 — Paris: Day Five — July 2009

The sun shone in a cloudless sky as Samantha and I climbed out of the Charles de Gaulle — Etoile Metro station. As we stepped up to street level, we found what we were looking for. The Arc De Triomphe stood proudly in the center of Place Charles de Gaulle, surrounded by the bustle of traffic that circled around the monument. Samantha smiled as she placed her camera around her neck.

“Wow. It’s a lot bigger than it looks in pictures.”

“Yeah, it is! It sure is beautiful! San Francisco has some beautiful things in it, but nothing like this!”

“Yeah! Well, picture time! Come on!”

She grabbed my hand and off we went. We walked around the base of the monument, snapping pictures as we went, and took the elevator to the observation deck on top, where we enjoyed another view of Paris for a while. When we had our fill, we went back down the elevator and took the pedestrian underpass to Avenue des Champs-Elysées. Our plan was to walk all the way down Avenue des Champs-Elysées to the Place De La Concorde and go from there.

A short ways down Avenue des Champs-Elysées was a genuine McDonalds! Samantha and I couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of a McDonalds on such a beautiful, cultural street. We refused to eat there, since we could eat at McDonalds at home, but we had to snap a few pictures.

We spent a good while window shopping and went into a few shops like Cartier and Louis Vuitton. I had a wonderful time looking at the beautiful clothes and accessories and Samantha remarked that I really must be a girl!

Our appetites grew as we walked and we had lunch at Café Georges V. It was a nice little place and we began to wonder if one could find bad food in Paris — except, maybe at the McDonalds.

As we continued our walk down Avenue des Champs-Elysées, I noticed that I was becoming more comfortable being myself in public. I smiled at my coming alive — and I hoped it would last.

Along the way, we found a GAP and a Disney store, of all things. Once we got out of the shopping district, we walked by the Grand Palais and the Petit Palais, two museums on Avenue Winston Churchill. We took a few pictures and decided to come back for a better look later.

After a very enjoyable day of walking the streets of Paris, we arrived at Place De La Concorde. We took a few pictures there and walked to the nearby Jardin Des Tuileries — which we decided to visit again.

Soon, we decided we’d done enough for one day. We hopped on the Metro at Concorde station and headed back to the hotel.

Chapter 10 - Paris: Days Six through Ten — July 2009

Samantha and I spent the next few days seeing everything we could. We spent a full day visiting the Grand Palais and Petit Palais museums and finished up with another visit to Jardin Des Tuileries.

We took the opportunity to visit Centre Georges Pompidou and we went to the Musée National d'Art Moderne inside. The Centre Georges Pompidou had very unusual architecture. The ventilation ducts, pipes, and other utilities were all visible on the outside of the building — as well as escalators and other structural elements.

Yet another day was filled with a walk around the Sorbonne during the morning and a visit to the Musée National Du Moyen Age (the national museum of the middle ages) in the afternoon.

Naturally, we could not forget to visit the Musée Du Louvre. We saw Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa and Madonna of the Rocks as well as the Birth of Venus and many other famous works of art. One of my personal highlights was the statue known as Winged Victory, a statue of the goddess Nike of Samothrace. We could not pass up a visit to the Pyramid Inversée, below which Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code placed the final resting place of Mary Magdalene. We also took a walk outside, around the Arc de Triomphe du Carrousel. Everything was amazing!

And yet, there was more to see than Paris. Samantha and I were growing steadily closer. We bonded over every wonderful sight we came across and the chemistry between us was incredible. We were both only sixteen, but I had never been so attracted to anyone in my life — emotionally or physically. I only wished that I wouldn’t have to leave what we had in Paris forever.

Chapter 11 - Paris: Day Eleven — July 2009

Samantha and I continued our tradition of having breakfast alone in her room, but not because I was afraid of being in public any longer. We enjoyed the privacy and intimacy of being alone — and since our time together was drawing to an end, we wanted to make every second count.

After another lovely breakfast, we walked the short distance to the Bir-Hakeim Metro station and boarded a train on our way to see Cathedral Notre Dame and Sainte-Chapelle. When we got off the train at the Saint-Michel Metro station, we paused in front of a map to determine which way we should to go find Cathedral Notre Dame.

Suddenly, a scruffy looking guy bumped into Samantha, gruffly apologized, and moved away. We turned back to the map, but moments later, a scuffle began between two police officers and the guy who had bumped into Samantha. The police addressed the man as Raoul and promptly searched him.

“I wonder what that’s all about.” I murmured.

“Yeah, really. Well, let’s just go, huh?”

“Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

Hand in hand, we left the Metro station and walked over to Sainte-Chapelle. We walked around Ile de la Cité for a while and ended our tour with Cathedral Notre Dame. We had a wonderful time. We were feeling pleasantly sated with the sights of Paris when we walked out of Cathedral Notre Dame.

When we got about halfway to Pont Au Double, Samantha screamed and I turned to find Raoul attempting to steal Samantha’s purse! We fought him off together and ran, full sprint, across Pont Au Double, turned right on Quai de Montebello and followed it into Quai Sainte-Michel. Raoul wasn’t far behind us.

We recognized the area near the Saint-Michelle Metro station, where we’d first seen Raoul and the two cops and ran toward it, hoping the police officers might still be there.

The officers were gone, but we had already purchased our return fare and we went straight for a waiting train. We boarded the train and watched out the window as Raoul angrily pounded on the window.

“Thank God! We lost him.”

“Yeah!”

For a moment, we sat there catching our breaths and I silently thanked God I was in decent shape thanks to my swimming.

“Are you okay, Samantha?”

She looked at me slowly.

“Yeah, I’m okay. You?”

“I’m okay, too.”

Still, I put my arm around her and she readily reciprocated.

“Hey Samantha, that guy went to an awful lot of effort for a purse, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I do. It’s almost like he was after my specific purse for some weird reason.”

“Yeah. I wonder what he was after.”

“I don’t know.”

We rode in silence until we reached the Montparnasse-Bienvenue Metro station, where we needed to transfer from the M4 line to the M6 line to get back to the hotel. Just before we reached that station, Samantha removed her camera from around her neck and went to put it in her bag. When she opened her bag to put in the camera, she froze and I knew something was wrong.

“Oh shit.”

“What?” I stared at her nervously.

“I’ll tell you when we get off, okay?” Her face had a look on it that said, “Don’t ask questions. Just do it.”

“Okay.” I slowly nodded.

We fell silent as we waited the last few seconds for the train to stop. We were at the doors when they opened and as soon as we were off the train, Samantha grabbed my arm and steered me to one corner of the platform.

“Samantha, what’s the matter?”

“Take a look at this,” she told me as she opened her purse so that I could see inside.

I did as she suggested and spotted a sandwich-size plastic bag containing a white powder. My face turned nearly the color of the powder as I realized what it was.

“Oh shit. Is that what I think it is?” It looks like cocaine!

“Probably.” She swallowed. “Chrissy, I swear to God it’s not mine. You have to believe me.”

I smiled at her as I gently put my hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay. I believe you. When that guy bumped into you at Sainte-Michel station, he probably slipped it into your purse so the police wouldn’t find it on him.”

“And he planned to get it back by following us and stealing my purse.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“God!”

“Yeah. What do we do?”

“Well, we’re only going to be here for another four days until…” Samantha fell silent as she looked at me with sad, moistening eyes. I felt my own emotions well as I tried to speak.

“Yeah.” I stared at her silently for a moment.

“Well, um…” She dug around in her purse. “I’ve got some tissues here. Why don’t I just wrap that… shit… in a tissue and throw it in a trash can?”

“Sounds great to me. I don’t want it!”

“Neither do I!”

We shared a chuckle as we moved to a nearby trash can and moments later, Samantha extracted what looked like a big wad of tissue and threw it away.

That done, we looked at each other for a moment, took each other’s hands, and headed for the M6 train.

* * *

As we climbed down the stairs at the Bir-Hakeim Metro station, we joined hands again, both of us feeling the need for security.

“Well, I hope we never see that guy again.”

“Yeah, so do I. Let’s just go back to the hotel, huh?”

“Yeah, I really would rather. I wouldn’t mind a swim anyway.” She smiled at me.

“That sounds great!”

We were silent for a few minutes until we crossed Boulevard de Grenelle and started down Quai Branly.

“Are you really okay, Chrissy? That was pretty scary.”

“Yeah, it was scary. But I’m okay, I really am. I mean, it had nothing to do with my being, um…” I looked around nervously.

“Special?” She finished for me.

I stopped in front of Souvenirs De Paris and stared at her, a heartfelt smile taking over my face. At that moment, I knew I had fallen in love with Samantha. I looked at the Eiffel Tower in the background, not so very distant, and squeezed Samantha’s hand.

“Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

I smiled at her as I hurried toward the Eiffel Tower.

“Someplace special.”

“Okay.” She smiled at me.

* * *

A few minutes later, we stepped off of the elevator at the top of the Eiffel Tower and I led us close to the mesh so that we could gaze out at the view. I took both of Samantha’s hands and took a deep breath.

“Samantha, your dream of seeing Paris came true. Here you are, at the top of the Eiffel Tower.”

Samantha smiled warmly at me.

“Yes, my dreams have come true — and so have yours. Just look at you! You’re standing here being yourself without a care in the world. When we first met, you were scared to go anywhere but the pool.”

She was right! I wasn’t nearly as afraid as I used to be. Things had gone smoothly so far and I found it hard to believe that people really cared that I wasn’t born female — if they had any idea.

“Yeah. I guess we made each other’s dreams come true.” I paused. “All except one.” I moved my face an inch closer to Samantha’s — and was rewarded with her thousand-watt smile.

“Well, there is that…” She moved her face an inch closer to mine. “…but I think we can make that last one come true.”

“Good, because… I’m in love with you. That’s what I brought you up here to tell you. I know we don’t have much time left, but… I don’t care… I’m in love with you.”

Her thousand-watt smile jumped up to about ten thousand watts.

“Oh, Chrissy, I am so in love with you!”

At that, we could resist our chemistry no longer. We kissed long and hard, from the depths of our souls, with the whole of Paris at our feet.

Chapter 12 — Paris: Day Twelve — July 2009

After our encounter with Raoul, we decided to visit another part of town. We chose to visit the Palais Du Luxembourg and Saint-Sulpice. That would keep us a couple of miles away from Cathedral Notre Dame.

The part of town around the Saint-Placide Metro station was interesting to walk around. It had very little in the way of tourist destinations, but that was part of its appeal. Without mobs of tourists pouring out of busses, we felt that we could blend in better — even if Samantha did prefer to wear her camera around her neck. I couldn’t help but smile at her.

Soon, we reached the corner of Jardin du Luxembourg, the garden surrounding the Palais du Luxembourg, which housed a museum and the Paris senate. I was amazed by the fence around the garden. The fence was built of wrought iron with stone pillars at intervals. The wrought iron prongs were tipped with gold-painted arrows. The whole thing was about ten feet tall.

We walked through the Musée du Luxembourg first, slowly admiring the works of art inside. We moved on to the Palais Du Luxembourg, where we marveled at the architecture, the paintings, the sculptures and all of the details.

After taking a break for lunch, we walked over to Saint-Sulpice and spent the afternoon looking at what Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code called the Rose Line, the gnomon it led up to and various other sites in the church.

We had a wonderful day right up to the moment that Samantha glanced behind us and saw Raoul following us.

“Oh, my God! What the hell is he doing here?” She gasped.

“He’s here?”

“Yes, he’s here.”

“How did he know where to find us?”

“I don’t know.” We looked behind us. “He’s catching up, too! Run!”

We took off sprinting up Rue des Canettes, looking for a cab and not finding one.

“Chrissy! This way!” Samantha made a right turn on Rue du Four, leading me by the hand, and we found the Mabillon Metro station two and a half blocks up. We dashed down into the station, hopped a train and watched the doors close before Raoul could board. It was the second close call in two days!

Chapter 13 — Paris: Day Thirteen — July 2009

We had had two close encounters with Raoul in as many days and this time and we wanted to make damned sure we did not come across him again. This time, we went clear across town to the Montmartre area, where we visited the Basilique de Sacré Coeur. There were some lovely views in the area and of course we got many wonderful pictures of each other and both of us together.

When lunch time came around, we headed toward the Moulin Rouge, the nightclub featured in the movie of the same name. We did not go into the club, being underage even for France, but we snapped a few pictures outside.

We had lunch in a nearby restaurant called Café Brasserie and enjoyed a leisurely meal at an outdoor table where we had a lovely view of an enormous red sign that said:

SEX SHOP
Lingerie
Latex
Cuirs
Gadgets
Revues
Aphrodisiaques

We burst out laughing when we saw it and, of course, we both had to have pictures of that!

Despite the big, glaring red sign, we had a wonderful time talking and holding each others hands across the table. When we finished, I got up to use the ladies’ room. There was a line of three other ladies waiting to get in, but eventually I got my turn.

I walked back to the table eager to get back to Samantha and found our table empty. I looked around, puzzled, and wondered where Samantha was. It was then that I found the note on the table, held down by the salt shaker. I picked it up and read it and it said:

I have your friend. If you want to see her live, then you will get what I want and come to Place De La Concorde at exactly 3 o’clock today, near the obelisk. NO POLICE. If you do not do this, your friend will die. If I see one police car, your friend will die. 3 o’clock. Do not be late!

No!! NO!! He has her!! Oh, my God, he has her!! Oh my God!! Oh my God!!

I began to panic and I looked around desperately, trying to see Samantha but there was no trace of her. The only thing I saw was a white van turning right onto Rue Blanche. I wondered if Samantha was inside, scared for her life. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and spilling down my cheeks as fear gripped me.

Chrissy, get a grip on yourself! Right now! Samantha’s life is depending on you! Now clear your fucking head! Pay the bill and get your ass moving! Now!!

I jammed the note in my purse, paid the bill and asked the waitress for the nearest Metro stop. The waitress pointed down Boulevard Clichy, speaking too rapidly for me to understand. I think she was trying to ask me if I was okay, but I didn’t have time to chat. I thanked her and ran down the street to the Metro stop.

* * *

I took the Metro to the Montparnasse-Bienvenue station, where we’d thrown the drugs away. I found the trash can without any trouble. The trash can consisted of a clear, plastic trash bag fitted around a circular mouth — and it was empty! They had emptied the trash!

Oh shit! Oh SHIT! What I am going to do? What the fuck am I going to do??

My brain threatened to shut down again and my breathing was rapid and shallow. I stood there panting and trembling for several moments, trying to bring myself under control.

Okay. Okay. I’m going to have to fake the drugs. Okay. I need… plastic bags and… what… powdered sugar maybe? Okay. Okay. Where’s a supermarket? Um. Shit, where did we go to get my crappy camera and some film? Right near the hotel! What was the street name? Rue… Saint… Saint… Saint-Dominique! Yes, that was it!

I ran for a train on the M6 line and got off at La Motte-Picquet-Grenelle station where I transferred to the M8 line and took it one stop to Ecole Militaire. From there, I walked to the supermarket that Samantha had shown me.

This was the first place we went together. Oh God!

My emotions wanted to pour through my tear ducts again but I had to stay focused.
I searched the store until I found some sandwich-sized plastic bags and a small container of powdered sugar. I turned for the cashiers, but I stopped. I was overlooking something.

The white van! Of course! Raoul had to have transportation to kidnap Samantha. He couldn’t just take her on the Metro! Far too complicated! So how did he get her in the van without making a scene? There’s only one way. He told her that he had me and he’d kill me if she didn’t cooperate — and she had to believe, without question, that he was going to kill me. She believed it because… why? Because he probably showed her a gun, that’s why! Shit! I need a weapon, too.

Suddenly my mind was awash with the image of Samantha climbing into that van expecting to find me inside, injured or bound, only to find the van empty and hear the door slam shut behind her. But by then it would have been too late. Poor Samantha! My emotions roiled within me but I couldn’t stop and deal with it right then. I didn’t have time. I looked at my watch and saw that I had an hour left.

I turned around and walked across the opening to each aisle, looking for something… something that I could use to incapacitate that asshole Raoul. But what? I looked around and found myself looking at a display of sauces. Some of the bottles had small pictures of spicy peppers on them. I thought about using hot sauce, but then a much better idea occurred to me: why not go straight to the source?

I turned around and headed for the produce aisle, where I looked for small spicy peppers. I found a few varieties and wasn’t sure which, if any, would be hot enough. Well, there’s only one way to find out. I looked for a security camera, but I didn’t see one. I waited until nobody was looking, grabbed a tiny small pepper and popped it into my mouth.

Ooh, Christ, that’s hot enough! Fuck, I can barely breathe!

I grimaced as I quickly swallowed, hoping nobody saw me. I picked three of the peppers from the same bin and headed for the cashiers.

Hang on, Samantha, I’m coming!

* * *

It was 2:55 pm when I arrived at the obelisk at Place De La Concorde. I had with me a fake bag of drugs that I had prepared in my hotel room, where I’d left the extra bags and sugar.

I looked around and saw no sign of Raoul or Samantha. Where is she?? My heart raced and my emotions refused to be controlled, but it was now or never.

I reached into my bag, grabbed the three small, spicy peppers I’d bought at the supermarket, and put all three in my mouth. I started chewing, intent on keeping it up until the peppers were as liquid as possible.

Oh shit, that’s hot! Oh, my GAWD! Ow! Ow! Ow!

The peppers were so hot that I had tears coming out of my eyes. Fortunately, I knew that Raoul would think I was crying out of fear — and maybe, partly, I was. I wanted desperately to spit out the peppers, but I needed them to disable Raoul so I could get to the van. It was the only way.

At 2:58 pm, I saw a white van park nearby that had black curtains drawn on all of its windows except for the front ones.

The white van! I was right!

As I watched, Raoul climbed out of the van — alone. I stopped chewing.

No! No, no, that’s… that’s not right! Where’s Samantha? Where is she??

I continued to watch nervously as Raoul reached into his front pocket and the van’s lights flashed. Raoul had just locked the van’s doors.

Fuck!!

Slowly, carefully, he pulled back the coat he carried over one arm and showed me a gun, before replacing the coat.

Double fuck!!

All I could do was keep my eye on Raoul as he approached me.

“Where is it?” He snarled.

I reached into my bag, grabbed the fake bag of drugs and hefted it in my hand.

Please, God. Please let this work. Please, God, for Samantha!

“Good. You are wise to do as I ask.”

Fuck you, Raoul.

I watched him carefully as he approached and when he was six feet away I threw the fake bag of drugs high into the air. He looked upward at it in shock, and at that moment, I lunged toward him and spat the chewed-up peppers into his eyes.

He shrieked in pain and immediately tried to wipe his eyes. I dodged to my right in case-

BANG! BANG!

Raoul blindly fired two shots and I pushed him over as hard as I could. When he hit the ground, he dropped the gun. I kicked the gun away and jumped on top of his thighs, reaching into his front pocket for his keys. He managed to grab my wrist but I slammed my other fist into his crotch and broke loose. He swore at me in French as I ran — and suddenly I stopped in my tracks.

What if there’s someone in there with Samantha? Someone with another gun? Shit!!

I picked up Raoul’s gun and ran for the van. I unlocked the sliding side door and readied the gun. I slid the door open, abruptly pointing the gun inside the van and found Samantha, alone, crying her eyes out, and duct-taped to one of the rear bucket seats.

“Samantha! Thank God!”

My emotional dam threatened to burst as I put the gun down and untied her immediately. As soon as she was free, we threw our arms around each other and I began crying right along with her, kissing her head as she kissed mine.

“Chrissy, thank God, thank God!! I heard the shots and I thought he killed you!”

“I thought he was going to kill you.”

We kissed each other with savage passion and clamped our arms around each other.

I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Raoul was still incapacitated — and heard more swearing in French.

Yup. Good.

Samantha still had a death grip on me, the poor girl.

“Ch-Chrissy, he said… he said he was going to deal with you and then have some fun with me.”

Suddenly, I truly knew what it meant to see red.

That fucking son of a bitch!

“He is never going to touch you again — if he ever does I’ll fucking kill him.”

I held her tightly again and comforted her. As I did, I noticed a rag on the floor in front of the seat Samantha had been sitting in and, without letting go of Samantha, I used it to wipe my fingerprints from the gun. Then I threw the gun, the rag and the keys into the front seat. I helped Samantha out of the van, locked the sliding door and slid it shut, locking the keys in the van.

“Chrissy, your breath smells like hot peppers.”

“Oh, yeah, that. That’s because I chewed up some spicy peppers and spat them in Raoul’s face.”

“Really? You did?”

“Yeah. Look at him!”

We watched him squeal and squirm for a few seconds and Samantha burst out laughing. She hugged me tightly and I responded in kind.

“We should probably get out of here before those peppers wear off.”

“Yeah, we should.”

I looked around for the nearest Metro station, and saw the entrance to Concorde station - but then I heard police sirens! Someone had called the cops! I glanced back at Raoul and I saw him get up and amble toward the van.

“Oh shit, run!”

Samantha and I ran toward Jardin des Tuileries, but stopped when we saw Raoul grab the door handle on the van, which he found locked, thanks to me. He cursed loudly in French, making Samantha and I laugh, and we watched as he grabbed a broken chunk of concrete and broke his own window. He reached into the window and grabbed the gun!

“Oh shit! Chrissy, he’s got the gun!”

“Oh Christ!”

Fortunately, he turned around and ran for the Metro station. He disappeared down the stairs moments before two police cruisers tore onto Place De La Concorde with their lights flashing. We ran toward the police cars, waving them down, and the cars screeched to a halt in front of us. Two cops got out and started speaking in rapid French.

Gee, I hope they speak English.

As I handed them the ransom note that Raoul had left for me at Café Brasserie earlier that day, Samantha and I explained everything to two of the policeman while another talked to witnesses and the fourth searched Raoul’s van.

Samantha described her encounter with Raoul at Café Brasserie near the Moulin Rouge and I found out that I had guessed correctly. Raoul had told Samantha that he had me captive and he would kill me if she didn’t cooperate. Sure enough, he had flashed her the gun to convince her.

“Okay. We drive you to your hotel now. This way, please.” The officer directed us with his heavy French accent.

“Okay.”

The officer who searched Raoul’s van handed something to the officer Samantha and I were talking to and walked away. Then the officer we were talking to and his partner led us to a police car. We got in the back while the officer and his partner climbed in the front of the car and drove us away.

* * *

Samantha and I clung to each other as we rode in the back of the police car.

“You know, Chrissy, you saved my life today. You actually took out a thug with a gun to save my life.”

“And I would do it again.”

We tightened our hug and I enjoyed just being with her. Just seeing her face again was a gift from Heaven. As I looked into her eyes, the police radio crackled and I caught something about Centre Georges Pompidou. Samantha must have seen something wrong in my eyes.

“Chrissy, what is it?”

I looked toward the police up front.

“Um, excuse me, what did they say about Centre Georges Pompidou?”

“Uh, they say that uh, they see him there.”

“What?? He’s at Centre Georges Pompidou?? My family’s there!!”

“Oh my God, Chrissy!”

The police officer riding shotgun handed me a few photos.

“Do you know these people?”

“Oh my God, it’s my mother and my sister!”

“And my mother! Where did you find these?”

“In his van. We also found this.”

The officer handed me a small paper item with the name of our hotel on it. I recognized it as the little pouch the hotel room keys originally came in.

He must have swiped it when he put the drugs in Samantha's purse!

"This is how he knew where you were staying. Then he took pictures and probably listened to your conversations to know where you were going."

“Oh my God. Is he after my family?” I asked nervously.

“It appears so.” He answered.

I clung to Samantha and she readily embraced me as the police talked on the radio to let other officers at Centre George Pompidou know what Raoul was doing there.

Soon, we pulled up in front of our hotel. The police opened the car door for us and helped us out of the car. Then they asked a hotel employee to summon Samantha’s mother. A couple of minutes later, she came running out and embraced Samantha. We filled her in on everything that had happened and she embraced me.

“Thank you for saving my baby!” She cried.

“Well, she saved my life once, so I figured I’d return the favor.”

I smiled at Samantha as she and I hugged each other.

The police radio crackled again and the police told us that my mother and sister were safe and were on their way back to the hotel. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and thanked the police.

They told us to go inside the hotel and wait in our rooms, and we did as they asked. When we got to the elevator lobby, Samantha gasped as Raoul appeared out of nowhere, stinking of peppers, pissed off and pointing his gun at us.

But they saw him at- Oh Christ, no they didn’t! They got it wrong! Raoul was never at Centre Georges Pompidou!

He grabbed Samantha and pointed the gun at her head.

“Now, my friends. We are all going up to her room.” He pointed the gun at Samantha.

Wait, he never went to Centre Georges Pompidou. He came here. That means he came in here before we did! He doesn’t know the police drove us back here!

“You better hope the drugs are there. If not, we will wait there until you,” he waved the gun at me, “get them for me.”

Suddenly, I knew what he would do to Samantha if he got them into Samantha’s room — and I was pissed!

I looked around at the faux marble panels in the elevator lobby and realized he couldn’t shoot. If he did, the report would be heard all the way to the Eiffel Tower. At the same time, the faux marble panels would be excellent for something else.

I screamed POLICE at the top of my lungs, hoping that the officers out front would hear me. Samantha and her mother joined in. Raoul cocked the gun, pointed it at Samantha’s head and ordered us to stop screaming, but stopped, realizing that he couldn’t shoot.

A moment later, the Police found us and pointed their guns at Raoul. When he looked up at the police, Samantha slammed her elbow into his crotch and wrenched free of him. The police used the opportunity to grab him and cuff him.

Ha! Up yours, Raoul!

Samantha ran to me and threw her arms around me. I gladly held her as we watched them haul Raoul away. Samantha’s mother hugged us both.

As we stood there comforting one another, Mom and Carly came running over. I hugged my family and put my arms back around Samantha.

The officers came back to let us know they had two witnesses who saw everything at Place De La Concorde and if there was nothing else, we were free to leave the following day.

Samantha and I looked at each other sadly, reminded that we would be forced to part ways soon. We held each other closely for several moments without saying anything. Our families made plans to have dinner together in the hotel dining room and we reluctantly went to our rooms to freshen up.

Dinner was somber. Most of the conversation centered on the day’s harrowing events. Samantha and I sat side by side with our arms around each other, barely eating and barely talking. We spent most of the time alternating between looking at each other and hugging… with a few kisses thrown in for good measure.

As we paid the bill, Samantha and I agreed to meet for breakfast the following morning. We exchanged a long hug and followed it with a long, deep kiss.

“I love you, Samantha.”

“I love you back, Chrissy.”

We kissed one last time and parted ways for the night.

Chapter 14 — Paris: Departure — July 2009

We met up outside the hotel dining room for breakfast. Samantha’s mother was in the room packing this time. We couldn’t spend our last breakfast alone, and we decided we’d have to settle for spending it without parents around instead.

We followed the maitre d’ to a table against one wall and we sat next to each other. We were going to the airport at the same time and decided not to talk about parting ways until then. We wanted to enjoy what little time we had left. We did enjoy our last meal together, but a cloud of dread hovered over our heads.

When we finished eating, I took Samantha’s hands in mine.

“Samantha, I have something for you. Something to remember me by. I took a little walk earlier this morning and got it for you.”

I reached into my bag and pulled out a small box. When I looked up, I saw that she’d done the same!

“I have something for you, too.”

We exchanged gifts and opened them together. She gasped when she saw the silver Eiffel Tower pendant on a small silver chain. I gasped when I saw that she’d picked out the same necklace for me!

“It’s perfect,” we said in unison and threw our arms around each other, tears leaking from both of us.

“Let’s put these on. It might ease the trip home a little bit.”

“Yeah!”

We took turns putting our necklaces on and hugged each other again.

“Let’s at least keep in touch, okay?”

“Yeah.”

I had begun to dig out a pad of paper I’d swiped from the room and a pen when I felt her hand on my forearm, stopping me. I looked up at her face and saw more tears running down her cheeks.

“You know what?”

“What?” And yet, I knew what she was going to say.

“Maybe we shouldn’t. Maybe we should just make a clean break, you know? I mean…” She sniffled as she fumbled in her bag for a tissue. “…you know how long distance relationships are. They just don’t work. If we stay in contact we’ll just be dragging things out and making it a lot more painful than it needs to be.”

I felt cold all over.

“Yeah. I think you’re right.”

Tears flowed freely from my eyes and I dug out a tissue of my own.

“Samantha, I don’t want to give you up. I love you.”

“I love you, too, and I don’t want to give you up, either. But I just don’t see how we’re meant to be together. We live way too far apart.”

“I guess.” We paused. “Well, for what it’s worth, Samantha, I’m still really glad that we got to spend these two weeks together. I wouldn’t give that up for anything.”

Samantha smiled as a tear slid from one eye.

“I wouldn’t give it up either.”

She squeezed me and we kissed again. God, I loved kissing her!

“Well… I guess we should go and pack.”

“Yeah.”

We asked for the bill, and sat there hugging each other until it arrived. We paid the bill and hugged again before heading back to our rooms, glad that we would at least travel to the airport together.

* * *

The rest of the morning was somber. I packed in complete silence. Carly and Mom tried to comfort me but it was useless. When we left the room and headed for the lobby, I didn’t know if I would be able to look at Samantha again, knowing I would still have to give her up. I knew that I would almost rather not see her again. If it had to end, why drag it out for even a few minutes? Then again, if I could have a few more minutes with Samantha, I sure as hell wasn’t going to turn it down. I took a deep breath and we went down to the lobby.

* * *

When I saw her, I was glad I hadn’t changed my mind, even though I felt overwhelming sorrow. We hugged and kissed again, holding hands as we headed out to catch a taxi. We all piled into a single cab. It was cramped, but I was glad for the extra few minutes with Samantha. As we drove, we could see the Eiffel Tower and several places that we would forever remember visiting together. As I thought about these memories — most of them joyous ones — passing into the past, I felt tears flowing from my eyes. Samantha hugged me and I could see that she, too, was in tears.

* * *

We were both a mess as we checked into our flights and afterwards, we had to go to separate gates to catch our flights. We dragged our heels and stayed close. We had a while before our flights took off, and we talked as long as we could.

“Samantha, thanks again for saving my life and for helping me overcome my fears of being myself in public. My life is forever changed for the better because of you.”

“Thank you for making my dream of seeing Paris come true — and for saving me from that drug dealer.”

Samantha shuddered.

“Well, that only happened because I was here. If not for that, you would have been safe at the hotel and you never would have come across him.”

For the first time, I wondered if my presence in Samantha’s life had been a good thing. Samantha was right. We weren’t meant to be together. Samantha sighed before she addressed my point.

“Chrissy, I almost went sightseeing on my own. I could see the frigging Eiffel Tower from my room. Do you have any idea what it’s like to look out at the Eiffel Tower only a few blocks away and not be able to go and see it? I was so fucking tempted to go out and see Paris alone… and my Mother would never have known… and on the day we met, while I was in the elevator on my way up to the pool, minutes before I met you, I had decided to do it. I was going to start the next day.”

I stared at her, suddenly shaken to the bone. I knew exactly what Samantha was saying.

“Chrissy, the first time we saw that drug dealer was at the Metro station near Cathedral Notre Dame. I could just as easily have run into him on my own… and that really scares me. He wanted to rape me, Chrissy… and I could have been alone.”

“Oh, Samantha!”

I hugged her tightly.

“I know.” She paused. “But then there was you and I didn’t have to go alone.” She gently stroked my face. “You showed up right when I needed you.”

“Well, I am super glad I was here.”

“So am I.” Samantha smiled at me.

We squeezed each other warmly and kissed deeply. The lingering kiss eventually came to an end, but we kept our arms tight around each other as tears leaked from both of us. We stayed that way until it was time for our flight to take off.

We had an emotional final farewell that left us both tearful wrecks, and our families had to pry us apart. We kissed for the last time and parted ways.

* * *

I was numb as a brick all the way home. I didn’t respond to conversation and I had zero appetite. I spent the entire flight staring out the window in a daze, tears intermittently running down my cheeks. I had never been so devastated in all my life.

Epilogue — 8/2009 to 10/2011 (We have to find out what happens to Chrissy, don't we?)

I spent the next two years focusing on my transition. With my fear of dressing as a girl in public successfully banished, I started on hormones soon after I returned home from Paris. That fall, I returned to school as a girl.

I had a few problems, but mostly unkind words. I had more friends than ever before, though I did not — could not - date anyone. Still, being myself could not have been more worth it! I marveled that I ever doubted that it would be.

My remaining time in high school passed quickly, and I graduated successfully. As soon as I walked out the doors of my high school for the last time, I started looking forward to attending UCLA, my first choice college. Immediately after I graduated high school, I had my GRS, since I had turned eighteen in the spring. Since I had started the hormones during my puberty, the GRS was all I needed to complete my transition — that and changing all of my legal documents.

* * *

When I arrived at UCLA in the fall, the past was behind me, and I was enjoying life to the fullest for the first time. I had even found myself a new girlfriend. Her name was Skyler and she was a gem. We had talked about becoming an exclusive couple, but there was no rush. We were taking our time. I finally felt that my life was headed where it was supposed to. Maybe, just maybe, Skyler and I would take our budding relationship to the next level.

* * *

One crisp night in October, I walked over to Skyler’s dorm and knocked on her door to pick her up for dinner. She invited me in and we sat on her bed, hugging and kissing. I noticed that Skyler was acting funny. She was especially affectionate and she had a Mona Lisa smile plastered on her face.

I wonder what that’s all about. Wait a second! Is she up to what I think she’s up to??

Skyler stole sultry, intermittent glances at me as she finished getting ready for dinner — looking extra pretty - and we headed out for dinner.

There’s that Mona Lisa smile again! My God, I think she’s going to do it!

* * *

Skyler and I carried trays full of food as we looked for a table in one of the school’s dining halls. Skyler nudged me and looked up at me slyly.

“Oh look, a lovely table by the window just opened up! What lucky timing!” She flashed another Mona Lisa smile and I couldn’t help but smile back.

Skyler winked at someone and I looked over to see who it was. Two of Skyler’s friends, Nicole and Shauna, both had silly grins on their faces as they stood up to vacate the table by the window. Now I knew that Skyler was about to propose a committed relationship!

Then Shauna moved away from the table and directly behind her was-

Samantha!!

I gasped loudly, stopped dead in my tracks, and dropped my entire tray, making an earsplitting crash. As I stood there, staring at Samantha, everything came rushing back to me — the memories, the emotions and all of my love for Samantha. It all just inundated me.

“Chrissy, who is that girl you’re staring at?” Skyler demanded.

I felt so happy to see Samantha — but she was not alone. She was seated at a table for two with another girl.

“Chrissy, who is she? Is she an ex-girlfriend?”

I remained frozen in place, unsure what to do.

“U-um, um, I-I’m… s-s-sorry, um… um…”

My eyes were still riveted to Samantha as she looked over to see what the commotion was about, along with half of the other people in the dining hall. I watched as Samantha stared at me and slowly stood. Her facial expression suggested that she was not sure who she was looking at.

“Chrissy!! What the fuck is going on??” Skyler was upset and there I was, rooted to the floor with my gaze inextricable from Samantha’s face.

“Chrissy!! God damn it!!”

Then a tear slid down my cheek, soon followed by another, and Samantha’s face cleared up.

"Chrissy!!"

Her ten thousand watt smile flared up as she ran to me and threw her arms around me — right in front of her new girlfriend — and mine. We both started crying and stood there gripping each other passionately.

“Chrissy, who is this?? What is going on?? Chrissy, answer me!!” Skyler stamped her foot crossly.

I tried to answer, but Samantha’s girlfriend, Elly, started talking before I could form a coherent thought.

“Hey, Sam, listen, um… a blind girl could see what you two have — and our relationship was just for fun — so, I’m bowing out, okay? You two really need to be together!”

Samantha glanced apologetically at her now ex-girlfriend.

“Chrissy!!” Skyler shouted, and I finally turned to her.

“Skyler, I’m sorry. This is Samantha.” I had briefly told her about Samantha during a conversation about ex-lovers. “I-I never thought I’d see her again.”

At that, my voice broke and more tears oozed from my face. I could tell, from the look on Skyler’s face, that she knew she had no chance with me.

“I-I… I was going to propose becoming exclusive.” She blubbered, as tears ran down her face.

“Skyler, I know that this unexpected reunion has caused you pain and I do feel awful about that. I never meant for you to be hurt.” I looked back at Samantha. “I thought I’d never see her again, I… I thought it was impossible.” Tears continued leaking down my face.

“I know that, but this still hurts. I’m humiliated.” She wiped her tears. “I guess um… I guess I’m going to quit standing here like a fool and… and leave. Goodbye, Chrissy.”

“Goodbye, Skyler. I’m really sorry.”

Elly, Samantha’s ex, moved to comfort Skyler — and hit on her - and left with her to talk. On their way out, Elly hung back and turned to me.

“Chrissy, you be good to Samantha. She is one special girl. I have contented myself with fun-only relationships, and this was the one time I wanted something more. She’s that special. I guess you’re the lucky one this time.”

I looked back at Samantha and smiled brightly.

“Don’t I know it.”

Samantha and I kissed again.

Elly left with Skyler and Samantha helped me pick up the remains of my tray. She went with me back to the food line to get a new tray.

“You know, Samantha, I feel bad for Skyler, but I couldn’t be happier to be with you again. I can’t believe you’re here!”

“I can’t believe you’re here!” We kissed each other again.

Samantha smiled happily at me and playfully tugged on my arm.

“Listen, don’t feel guilty. You were only trying to find happiness. Neither of us woke up this morning knowing we were going to see each other again.”

“You’re right about that.”

We shared another wonderful hug and after I grabbed my food — again - I joined Samantha at the table vacated by Elly. We talked about everything for a long time.

“You know, Samantha, one time I missed you so badly that I started looking up the prices on plane tickets to Boston. I only stopped because we would be stuck with the same distance problem once I got home.”

“I did the same thing. I even considered going to a college in or near San Francisco and trying to find you, but then I realized that you might go for Boston and then we’d just have the same distance problem in reverse.”

“I thought of the same thing. It seemed like no matter what I tried, we’d be stuck thousands of miles apart.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“So how’d you end up here?”

I squeezed her hand excitedly.

“I decided to choose a school based on what I wanted to study and just go with it. UCLA has a school of Theater, Film and Television that really interested me and, well, here I am.”

“It was the School of Arts and Architecture that drew me here.”

We sat there long after we finished eating, just talking, crying, hugging, kissing… and falling in love all over again.

THE END

* According to Wikipedia.

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

A Purge of Emotion

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

Restricted Audience (r)

Publication:

500 < Short Story < 7500 words

Genre:

Transgender

Character Age:

Mature / Thirty+

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

A Purge of Emotion

This story is dark because I am having thoughts of ending my own life. I am hoping that by doing so symbolically here, I might avoid doing so in actuality, in the nearest garage. Please bear with me, and if you feel so inclined… please pray for me. At this point, I really don’t want to live anymore. Normally I welcome all comments, but in this case… whatever you do, please, if you feel inclined to comment, please leave only kind words. I assure you that I am painfully aware of my shortcomings because I have been cut too many times by people rudely pointing them out to possibly be unaware of them. If you feel the urge to reprimand perhaps parts of my attitude or my beliefs, then please know that your words will most certainly cause a great deal of harm — of a magnitude that neither you nor I can predict right now - and will be of absolutely no help whatsoever. Thank you for your consideration.

Purge of Emotion

I am sitting in my arm chair, motionless, staring into nothing, when it becomes clear that it is time. I have no more tears to cry for the emotional pain I’ve endured, and that is how I know. I recall a quote from the movie G. I. Jane, with Demi Moore, stating that pain is your friend because if you feel pain you know you’re still alive. But this night, I no longer feel the pain. I haven’t the energy left within me to hurt.

My tear ducts are dry as an ancient lake bed that has seen no flow for millenia, now clogged and overgrown with weeds and thistles. My heart is empty, containing no more than blood and tissue. Gone are the sister reservoirs of tears and emotion that once flowed in tandem.

I look around the room, at the keyboards, once an emotional retreat, a place to write music and play it and sing it with passion. My eyes briefly light upon the computer, the repository of my fiction. I skim the labels of the movies beneath the wood-and-glass coffee table and the books upon it, formerly a source of inspiration or solace which, alas, has failed to save me from falling over the edge into the abyss. Neither the poster from the symphony given as a gift, nor the dollar bill folded into a butterfly by a kind stranger rescue me from darkness.

As I stare at the darkened screen of the turned-off television, what’s left of my mind runs through the possible ways I might save myself from my own hand. I think of the backup plan kept filed away in some fold of gray cells beneath my skull but I discard it out of hand. I no longer wish to be saved. I can only imagine the psychiatrists at the hospital wishing only to rid themselves of their newest problem with as little financial expenditure to the hospital as possible, perhaps caring about their newest patient, but dismissive of her travails as a tragic but unavoidable part of their jobs, telling themselves that they are only avoiding unemployment, consoling themselves with the rhetoric that no doctor can save all of her patients, willing to release me without real help seventy-two hours later just so long as the roof is not removed from over their children’s heads. Knowing from past experience that the pharmaceuticals I expect them to prescribe utterly fail to solve problems, instead deadening their consumer to them, I reject that avenue at once.

The only thing that might take away my pain being the one thing I am ostensibly not allowed in this life, I arrive at the same, lone, inexorable option. I can spend the next few decades living with inescapable pain or I can do what the God I still manage to believe in will not. I can end my misery.

They say suicide is the only unforgivable sin, but I disagree. God, after all, is the one who allowed me to taste such vile, bitter despair in the first place. Surely He would not allow humans to know this torment without realizing that some of them would be simply unable to cope and would therefore end their own miserable existences. Surely, if begrudgingly, He must accept such acts, though devastating to those left behind, as an unfortunate consequence of ordering the poor souls’ own guardian angels to stand down and allow the tragedy to unfold, as expressed in another author’s dream, just as the psychiatrists in the hospital ward must release their patients in seventy-two hours despite giving no real help, no real relief, no real solutions. Surely such unfortunates are not to be deprived of forgiveness, for to allow this torture and punish those who cannot endure would make God a cruel, loveless hypocrite of the worst kind and magnitude.

There is no purpose that I can serve in this world if I cannot be freed from my emotional pain. I can not be of help to anyone as long I am wracked with agony, for I have nothing to give. I can not be a rock for another while buried alive beneath a rockslide. I am useless and hopeless and I have seen my last day on this miserable earth.

I rise from my chair and sit before my computer one last time. I call up the suicide note I have already written and print it out, the hum and bustle of my printer the only sound, the glowing computer screen the only light. With a sigh as heavy as an ocean, I stand and walk downstairs to my garage. I sit in my car, place the note on the front passenger seat and roll down my windows. I start the engine, wedge a plunger against the gas pedal, recline the seat all the way, and stare at the roof of my car.

Why God? Why is there no other way? Why do You allow such pain in your daughter, who has only darkness and solitude when she most needs a hug and a shoulder to cry on… and with no discernible end but this? Why didn’t You make me stronger? Why didn’t you give me the social skills I need to find a partner? Why did you allow my genital surgery to be botched? I did my homework, damn it, and it wasn’t enough! The asshole screwed it up! Sure, it’s a hell of a lot better than a penis, but what good is it if any partner would take one look at my new equipment and say, “I’m sorry, but I can’t make love to that. It kind of kills the mood, you know?” Why did You allow me to go through this life without sufficient self-confidence to survive this heartless world. I mean, damn it, I would think the least You could have done is provide me with someone to talk to when I needed it, but no, I went through it all without anybody who could understand — or even fucking believe me half the time. Not only did You allow me to be inundated with unbearable pain, You allowed me to be engulfed in it utterly alone. I am genuinely sorry that I cannot go on any longer, but after all, it was You who made me human; it was You who chose not to provide me with the strength to survive.

My nostrils fill with the odor of exhaust fumes, or perhaps it’s the smell of unburned fuel making its way into the exhaust. I cough, as my lungs beg for oxygen, but I do not care.

As I wait in my thirteen year old Subaru, I am reminded that some say a car, when seen in a dream, represents one’s life, the general condition of the car acting as an indication of the health of one's life, the road beneath it — or lack thereof - signifying the ease or difficulty of one’s journey through life. A car in a garage represents no progress at all, as in being sidetracked in life.

My fairly beat up car, ready to give out after thirteen years of faithful service, is now in such dire need of work that it can no longer be repaired, for the cost is greater than the worth of the vehicle.

Sounds like my soul, beat up, weary, ready to give out, and beyond repair.

This is my last thought as I slip from consciousness, and soon, into the next world… still… utterly… alone. Nobody comes to save me. Nobody is there to turn off the car or open the garage door. Nobody is there. Just like always.

The End

To those of you who made it to the end of this ridiculously sad tale, thank you for reading. I hope that writing this out succeeds in releasing enough tension that the remainder is bearable.

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Budding Lilli Part 1

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

17,500 < Novella < 40,000 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

Permission:

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Kyle has purged and is trying to be "normal" - only to find it impossible. After two years of misery, his sister Christine dares him to put on their sister Taryn's dress. Can he resist? What happens to Kyle - and what does his mischievous sister have in store for him?

BUDDING LILLI

Chapter 1 — Sunday, May 16, 2010

“It’ll be okay. You’ll see.” My younger sister Christine gave me a big hug.

I stared at the landscape paintings on the cream-colored walls, wishing I could disappear into one of them, as we waited for our older sister Taryn to bring our mother downstairs to the basement.

“Of course it will!” My girlfriend, Mira, reassured me by squeezing my hand and gently touching my cheek.

The cushy, overstuffed couch we were sitting on was one of my favorite places in the house to relax. I had spent many hours lost in thought while ensconced in the embrace of the soft, burgundy upholstery.

Now, I was facing my own, personal hour of judgment. Nothing could ease the dread in my soul.

I looked down at my black skirt and tights, along with the black, leather ballet flats I was wearing. The black top and bold teal cardigan rounded out my outfit nicely. I couldn’t help smiling at the way those clothes made me feel so much like a girl - no easy feat for someone born biologically male.

Yet, I could feel the apprehension that tainted my smile, knowing that my mother had no idea I was dressed that way or why — and she was about to come down the stairs.

Uncomfortable with the thought of the imminent confrontation, my mind wandered as it searched for a safe harbor, my thoughts drifting to the experiences that had led up to this decisive moment in my life.

Chapter 2 — Friday, May 14, 2010

“How about this one?” Christine smirked.

She held up a denim skirt with beautiful embroidery on the back pockets, her coyly raised eyebrows silently suggesting that Taryn add it to the Goodwill bag.

“No!! Put that back! That’s my favorite!” Taryn gasped.

“I know. I’m just messing with you,” Christine smiled with playful menace.

I witnessed the exchange between my sisters with a giggle as they cleaned out Taryn’s closet. All three of us got along well but Christine was irrepressible. The little imp had a good sense of mischief and knew just what to do with it. Malice never had any role in her actions; her only objective was to get a good reaction. Still, it was best to be on guard with her around.

I looked around Taryn’s room, drinking in its femininity. The lilac walls gave it a nice ambiance, while the white, embroidered comforter lent the right amount of femininity without overdoing it.

My thoughts drowned out my reality as I wondered, not for the first time, why I felt so much more comfortable in her room than I did in my own.

Taryn laughed out loud, snapping my focus back to the cleaning out of her closet.

“Christine, give it a rest!” Taryn giggled covering her mouth with one hand.

“Oh, come on! You don’t think he would look cute in this dress?” Christine stared at her sister bug-eyed as she pushed back.

Oh shit! I hope they’re not talking about-

“I didn’t say that, sis! I just really don’t think he’d care to-”

“Hey Kyle!” Christine cheerfully spun around to face me, holding up the pretty lavender dress. “I dare you to put this on! In fact,” she smiled wickedly, “I dare you to completely dress up as a girl - again!”

“W-what?” I sputtered.

“Oh, Christine, don’t embarrass Kyle!” Taryn couldn’t help laughing. She held her sides as though they’d rupture.

“I’m not putting that on!” I balked as I felt my face burn.

Christine began to use her persuasive, irresistible, puppy stare — the one that always worked on me.

“Awwww, come on! If we were playing Truth or Dare, you’d do it! You’ve never been afraid of a dare before. Come on. Pleeeeeeease?”

“You know that’s true, Kyle,” Taryn chipped in. “You’re not usually afraid of a dare.”

Oh, Christ! Now Christine’s got Taryn on her side!

“Kyle, I double dare you to dress as a girl!” Christine upped the ante, making the dress dance as she held it up to taunt me.

I paused as I stared at her.

“No! No way!”

Christine stared right back at me.

“Boys aren’t supposed to refuse a dare, right Taryn? Isn’t that like one of the boys’ unwritten rules for being a man?” She made the word ‘man’ drip with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes. “Well, maybe you’re just not supposed to feel fear, but it’s the same thing. Come on, Kyle! Grow a pair!” She thrust the dress at me.

“A pair of what? Boobs?” I answered, glowering at her with my arms crossed.

“You know, she’s right Kyle. Guys are really not supposed to turn down a dare,” Taryn laughed. “And she double dared you.”

“Shut up! You just want to see me dress up as a girl!” I huffed.

“Now that you mention it, yes I do,” she admitted. “So get on with it!”

Christine laughed as Taryn grabbed the dress from her and took a step toward me, holding out the dress in a manner that suggested she fully expected me to take it. I looked at her, my arms still firmly crossed, as though she were offering me a platter of steaming manure.

My sisters were ganging up on me - and Christine was one persistent little bugger when she really wanted something.

“Come on, Kyle!” She closed in on me. “Do it! We won’t tell anyone.”

She made a “zip-the-lip” gesture, twisting her hand as though locking her mouth shut.

“You have got to be shitting me!”

Christine rolled her eyes.

“Come on, Kyle, didn’t you grow your hair to your shoulders so you’d look like a girl when you dressed up?” She ran a finger through my hair before letting out a giggle.

I turned red as a stop sign as if Christine had thrown a switch.

“N-no!! That’s not why I grew my hair this long!”

Christine!! You’re not supposed to tell anyone, you little-

Taryn gasped, putting one hand briefly over her mouth before she spoke.

“Kyle, is that true?”

My eyes bugged out of my head at my sisters.

“No!!” I lied.

“Then you won’t mind dressing up for us!” Christine giggled at me as she folded her arms.

“Shut up, Christine!” I snapped.

“Only a coward refuses a double dare! You’re not a coward, are you?” She stuck her face right in mine.

Christine had pushed my last button. Suddenly, I put my fists on my hips and playfully glared at Christine. Then I rolled my eyes as I held out one hand toward Taryn.

“Give me the fucking dress.”

The girls guffawed at me, but Taryn tried to be nice.

“I am impressed, Kyle! Good man!”

“Not in a dress!” I stared at her.

We all erupted in laughter as I turned to head for the bathroom.

“Kyle, wait! The dare was to dress up completely!” Christine flashed a classic Cheshire grin.

I stopped and looked at Christine with annoyance.

“Thanks for reminding us, Christine,” I replied snarkily. “Fine. Bring it on.”

Christine giggled as she helped Taryn put the rest of my outfit on Taryn’s bed. I watched them pick out a white satin bra, matching panties, a white slip, a pair of white, leather flats, and a pair of white pantyhose.

“Oh, my God,” I groaned. I shook my head in resignation and sighed. “All right, fine, give me the stuff.”

I held out my free hand to receive the rest of the outfit, my sisters hastily filling it before I could change my mind. We giggled together as I headed to the bathroom in the hall to accept my fate.

Chapter 3 — Sunday, May 16, 2010

I gripped Mira’s hand as I waited for my mother to come downstairs. The uncertainty of not knowing how she would soon react was torture. I hoped that she would take it alright, but I had no idea what to think. I could only wait and find out what happened.

Mira shifted her position as she put one arm around me and resumed holding my hand with her other one.

“This will be over pretty soon and you’ll find that it’s all working out okay,” Mira smiled, trying valiantly to persuade me that I had nothing to worry about.

Each second seemed to last a week as I sat in the overstuffed couch huddled with Mira and Christine, awaiting my fate. My mind departed again in a desperate bout of escapism, gravitating back to what had led to the tense wait, picking up where it had left off.

Chapter 4 — Friday, May 14, 2010

I stepped into the powder blue bathroom, hanging the lavender dress on the back of the door. The white, tile counter next to the sink was large enough to accommodate everything but the shoes, which belonged on the floor anyway.

I removed my clothing and stepped into Taryn’s lingerie. A smile appeared on my face as I slipped on the white nylons. Once I had them on, I paused. I was sixteen and slow to mature; my limbs were still bare of hair. The feeling of the nylon on my bare legs was out of the masculine world. I felt very feminine - and I found myself enjoying that sensation, just as I always had.

Suddenly, I stopped what I was doing to stare at myself in the mirror.

What in the fuck am I doing? I gave this up two years ago! I made it two years without dressing as a girl! I was going to be normal! I made so much progress and I’m throwing it all away! Why am I doing this?

That was a question I could not yet answer. I looked at my reflection, staring into my own eyes, trying to find the answer somewhere within them.

The phone startled me as it rang, bringing me out of my reverie.

“I’ll get it!” Christine chirped.

I let out a long sigh.

Why did Christine tell Taryn that I grew my hair long to look like a girl? I stopped dressing as a girl two years ago - well, until now.

I ruefully looked at myself in the mirror as I considered pulling the plug on this dare of Christine’s . . . but part of me wanted to be dressed as a girl again, the part of me that had done it — and loved it - so many times before.

Chapter 5 — May 2008

“Hey, Christine! Can we dress up Kyle as a girl again?” Sara asked excitedly.

“Yeah, that is so much fun!” Jill agreed.

I couldn’t help overhearing from where I was sitting — in the overstuffed couch six feet away from the table where Christine and her friends sat, waiting for their freshly done nails to dry.

I was watching a rerun of CSI: New York. I wouldn’t admit it to myself at the time, but I loved the cute tops that the character Stella was always wearing.

“Oh, I bet we can arrange that!” Christine smirked.

“Cool! He really does look pretty as a girl!” Sara smiled as she blew on her nails.

I peered over my shoulder at the girls as they giggled at me, throwing glances my way, anticipating my answer to their request.

Christine stood up and the three twelve-year-old girls approached me from behind, all of them smiling at me eagerly.

This kind of attention from girls does not suck — even if they are two years younger!

“So, Kyle. You obviously overheard. So how about it? I’ve got just the dress!” Christine began.

“Dammit.” I sighed dramatically. “Well, we all know that you’re going to bug me until I do this, so let’s just get it over with.”

I turned off the television, using the remote as I rose, the girls cheering at my decision.

They brought me to Christine’s pastel yellow room, where they wasted no time getting started. A few minutes later, I was wearing a knee-length, sleeveless, pink dress with a white floral pattern on it. My outfit was completed with white sandals over a pair of white anklets.

Normally, the girls put all of this over my normal underwear, but this time, Christine declared that I should wear female underwear. Seconds later, she held up a white pair of panties and a matching bra. Sara laughed hysterically. Jill’s reaction was more subdued but she thought it was funny, too.

I pretended to refuse to wear them, but Christine was persistent as ever, and I gave in. I soon found that wearing the bra and panties under the rest of it made me feel like a real girl.

My hair was already down to just past my chin. Naturally, the girls used this to their advantage. They brushed it straight, giving it an inward bob along the bottom with a hair curler.

“Aw, Kyle you look so cute as a girl! Are you sure you’re not one? You definitely should have been!” Christine gibed, setting off a round of giggling.

I chortled along with everyone else, but Christine’s little joke troubled me.

Before I could figure out what was bothering me, Christine's cell phone rang, wafting through the laughter, and Christine went to answer it. I spent a minute or two posing for the girls as Christine chatted with another of her friends.

“Um, girls? Well, not Kyle, just girls, I mean,” Christine joked as her friends laughed at her.

I chuckled half-heartedly as well, but my sister’s remark had left me feeling excluded. I thought that was strange, but I dismissed it.

“It’s Jen on the phone and she can’t make it after all. She wants to have some quick girl talk on speakerphone, so Kyle, please get comfortable in here while we take this call in the basement. I doubt we’ll be that long. Oh, and no changing back, okay?” Christine playfully warned me.

“Okay. I’ll stay a girl,” I smiled at them.

The girls left the room, taking the ambiance with them. Having the room to myself, I walked over to Christine’s full-length mirror. I smiled at my reflection, daydreaming that the girl in the reflection was all-girl, mentally and physically. My thoughts drifted to imagining that I was that girl.

A good look at the girl in the mirror revealed that something didn’t look right. Soon, I realized what it was: I had always felt that tights or pantyhose looked much nicer with a dress than ankle socks.

I had always wished that the girls would dress me in a pair of hose. They looked so beautiful on a girl and I had always wanted to try them. When the girls convinced me to wear the lingerie beneath the dress I thought sure they would add a pair of hose, but they had selected the ankle socks.

Bleah!! Ankle socks look better on little girls! I’m sixteen! If I’m going to wear a dress, I should be wearing pantyhose, not ankle socks!

I sighed as I glanced at the clock on Christine’s nightstand, wondering how long the girls would be. I figured that I had enough time to slip on a pair of hose for a minute and put them back — just long enough to see what it was like.

What the hell.

I walked over to Christine’s closet, looked at her shoes and picked out her white, leather flats with a one-inch heel. I put them on the floor next to the dresser, where I slid open the top drawer. That one seemed to be for lingerie. I slid open the next one to find Christine’s socks, leggings, tights and pantyhose.

I picked out a pair of semi-sheer white pantyhose, absent-mindedly closing the drawer. Eagerly anticipating the feel of the nylons, I removed my sandals and socks. I carefully slipped the hose on just as I had seen a woman do on TV a few times, thanking my lucky stars I had no hair on my legs.

I pulled my dress back down and stepped in front of the mirror again, marveling at the difference. The pantyhose looked and felt wonderful.

That is so much better!

I loved seeing my fully feminized reflection in the mirror, but I wanted to walk around a bit to feel the hose on my legs. Without thinking, I put the sandals back in Christine’s closet and put her ankle socks in her bathroom hamper as an excuse to walk around, enjoying the sensations along the way.

The nylons made me feel like a girl in a visceral way. That feeling was exhilarating, like nothing I had experienced before. I admired myself as long as I dared to - soon absorbed enough to lose all track of time.

Well, I’d better take these tights off before – oh shit!!

The girls’ voice echoed down the hall as they headed for Christine’s room. I frantically looked around for the ankle socks and shoes, but . . .

Shit!! I put the other stuff away!!

I started for the bathroom, but I only made it two steps before the girls walked into the room, took one look at me, stopped in their tracks and dropped their jaws.

Jill stared at me so intently that she didn’t notice the other two girls stopping right in front of her — until she bumped right into Sara.

“Sorry!”

“That’s okay.”

Neither girl took her eyes off of me.

The room was glaringly quiet for a few moments. It was Christine who broke the silence with an uncharacteristically serious tone.

“Kyle, you, um . . . y-you touched up your look.”

I nodded, too afraid to speak.

“Kyle, do you . . . do you like being dressed as a girl?” Christine asked me as I looked down, studying my feet in the leather flats and hose. “I mean, I know you never exactly resisted being dressed up, but we thought that you were only doing it because we were making you do it — that and maybe because it got you attention from girls,” she giggled nervously.

I sat on Christine’s bed, carefully tending to my dress, before closing my eyes and taking a breath.

“I do like dressing as a girl. I hope you don’t think I’m weird or anything. It’s not like that. It’s just . . . it just . . . feels nice,” I murmured as I looked at my feet again.

Nobody spoke for a few moments.

“Okay . . . can you tell us more about why you like to dress as a girl?”

Christine sat down next to me and the other girls took it as their cue to sit as well. I looked at her while I tried to understand my own feelings.

“Well, it’s kind of hard to explain, Christine. I know that I like dressing as a girl and I know that I think of myself as a girl when I do.”

“Wow. What do you think it means?” Christine prompted.

“I’m not sure. What I do know is that when you dress me up I always really want to. I mean . . . it’s almost like I need to for some reason. It’s like . . . well, it’s like walking around barefoot when it’s below freezing outside, and dressing as a girl gives me relief like putting thick socks and boots on my freezing feet. I-I don’t know . . . I just . . . I feel . . . better like this. It . . . just . . . feels . . . right.”

As the last word left my lips, something stirred within me. It was a feeling that something about what I had just said was extremely important and I was missing it. However, I pushed that thought away. I figured I was just nervous about revealing that I liked dressing as a girl.

Christine put her arm around me, gently squeezing it as she reassured me.

“Well, Kyle, this is all okay with me. I don’t see any wrong in it.”

Christine and I looked at her friends for support but we didn’t like what we saw. Christine asked — which was helpful because I couldn’t.

“Are you two okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“Me either.”

Sara looked alarmed. She hesitated for a moment and spoke her mind.

“Kyle, in that analogy about the freezing feet, if the person keeps walking around barefoot in those temperatures, the consequences are severe and potentially lethal if he can’t warm up his feet at some point. Are you saying that if you don’t dress as a girl sometimes that there could be severe and potentially lethal consequences? I mean . . . is there . . . somehow . . . a serious danger to . . . I-I don’t know . . . your well-being, maybe . . . if you can’t be a girl at least sometimes?”

I looked at her blankly.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I admit I haven’t thought about that. Maybe I haven’t needed to because I dress as a girl from time to time and have some relief . . .” There’s that feeling again like I just said something cosmically important. But what, damn it? “Well, to answer your question, until I know one way or the other, I think we’d better assume that my well-being is at stake if I don’t dress as a girl at least sometimes.”

“Holy shit!” Christine looked very worried.

“It’s only a possibility, though, not . . . an eventuality. Anyway, like I said, I haven’t had any problems yet and as long as I can dress as a girl sometimes, I don’t think we have to worry about that.”

“Well, I definitely support you dressing as a girl sometimes,” Christine resolved.

“I do, too,” Sara concluded. “That was the only thing bothering me.”

Sara relaxed, but Jill didn’t. She had her arms crossed in what looked like a defensive posture.

“You two are okay with this?” She responded.

Sara nodded and Christine concurred.

Jill momentarily covered her eyes with one hand.

“I-I’m sorry, Kyle. My parents are pretty conservative and, well . . .” she hesitated to say it. “They don’t say very good things about people like you. They think it’s wrong for a boy to wear girls’ clothes, like Biblically wrong.”

Oh, please not that! I inwardly groaned.

“But I don’t believe that. I mean, the Bible says that someone who commits adultery should be stoned to death but my parents would never support that. I mean, if we’re going to ignore the rules that we think are wrong, then . . . if dressing as a girl really is this serious a need for people like you, then I think that whoever spoke against it in the Bible made a big mistake,” she managed, pausing to take a breath.

“B-but . . . I’m still not comfortable with this," she continued. "It might just be because I haven’t met anyone like you before. I think I will probably get over it, but . . . not right now. I didn’t mind at all when I thought it was just a joke, but now . . . I don’t know. It’s so weird! It’s like . . . on the one hand I don’t really, truly see a problem with this, but it’s like . . . well, it’s like I’m brainwashed to think it’s wrong and so it’s scaring me anyway. I’m really sorry, Kyle. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“It’s okay, Jill. Finding me in nylons was probably not the best way for you to find out.”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Well, Jill, um . . . Kyle needs this,” Christine put her arm around me again, “and so I want him to stay dressed as a girl while he has a chance.”

Although I could not explain why, I felt relief upon hearing her say that. Judging from the facial expressions of Sara and Jill, they noticed and felt at least some empathy.

“Is that . . . going to cause a problem?” Christine finished.

Jill thought for a moment, a crestfallen look appearing on her face.

“I-I . . . m-maybe I should go. I think I just need to let this digest for a while and that I will get over it, b-but . . .” She shook her head helplessly. “I just need some time to straighten myself out. I should go.”

Christine looked at her friend.

“Okay. If you feel it’s best.”

“Kyle, I’m sorry, I . . .” she shook her head again, clearly at a loss for words.

I stood up, making an effort to keep the peace.

“It’s okay, Jill. At least, you’re honestly trying to conquer your fears.”

“Yeah, I guess,” she half-whispered, nodding weakly before taking a strained breath. “I guess I'll . . . I’ll see you later, girls.”

She turned to leave, but stopped at the sound of laughter behind her. Without turning around, she put one hand on her head and hastily left.

Chapter 6 — Sunday, May 16, 2010

It had hurt when Jill had needed to leave, but I had had so much fun with the girls that I still felt good whenever I remembered the times they dressed me up.

“Hey, look who’s smiling!” Mira gently squeezed my hand as she grinned.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about the times when Christine and her friends used to dress me up. It’s funny, because it seemed so . . . harmless back then, but now . . . waiting for Mom to come down here . . . I feel like my life is at stake!”

My smile disappeared as my heart rate climbed steadily skyward the more I thought about it. Before I was aware of it, I was on my feet, heading toward the basement stairs.

“This was a mistake! Mom can’t see me like this; she’ll freak — and then she’ll have a shit fit! I can’t do this. I-I can’t!” I chattered nervously as I approached the stairs.

Mira was already on her feet, darting toward me.

“Honey, wait. Please.”

Mira closed the distance and took me warmly in her arms.

“I know you’re feeling afraid right now of how your mother’s going to take all of this,” she began, as she pulled back and looked me in the eyes. “But your mother has seen you in a dress before. More than once, right?” She glanced at Christine in time to see her nod.

“B-but she was the one who made me start leaving the house whenever Christine had her friends over.”

“Well . . . yeah. But it’s not necessarily because she doesn’t like you dressing as a girl. It could be anything! We just have to . . .” Christine trailed off.

“Wait and see?” I muttered.

“Yeah,” Christine agreed apologetically.

“What the hell’s taking them so long anyway?” I groused.

“I don’t know,” Christine admitted. “Knowing Mom, she’s probably on her goddamned cell phone!” She rolled her eyes. “But don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll be down soon!”

“Great!” I uttered.

With that, my mind fled the room.

PART TWO IS COMING SOON!

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Budding Lilli Part 2

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

17,500 < Novella < 40,000 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Kyle has purged and is trying to be "normal" - only to find it impossible. After two years of misery, his sister Christine dares him to put on their sister Taryn's dress. Can he resist (please stop laughing)? What happens to Kyle - and what does his mischievous sister have in store for him?

This time: Just how devious is Christine?

BUDDING LILLI - PART 2

Chapter 7 — Friday, May 14, 2010

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, still clad only in lingerie and hose, searching my reflection for answers. Who was I kidding? I knew exactly why I was dressing as a girl again. I needed to. I had become moody, I was snappish with my sisters, I was somewhat distant from my few friends, and forbidding myself to dress as a girl has something to do with it. I didn’t know what or why; I just knew that after two years, refusing to dress as a girl was beginning to feel like refusing to breathe.

If my soul had a face it would be sickly blue right about now.

Resolving to go through with the dare, I put the slip on. Completing my outfit, I donned the lavender dress and white, leather flats.

“I’m back. Is Kyle still gussying up?” Christine’s voice wafted into the bathroom.

Taryn giggled at her — and at me.

“Yup. I’m sure he’ll be out in a minute.”

I smiled ruefully as I walked to the door and opened it an inch.

“Okay, I’m ready — but you two have to give me your word, right now, that you won’t tell anyone about this or I’m changing back!”

“You should have said that before you dressed up!” Christine giggled.

“Christine, don’t do that. We’re doing enough to him as it is,” Taryn mediated as they laughed at my expense.

“Okay, you’re right,” Christine cooperated.

“I give you my word that I won’t tell a soul, Kyle. Your turn, Christine.”

“I give you my word, too, Kyle. Come on out, cutie!”

The girls tittered at me as though they would never tire of it. I rolled my eyes at my deranged family and shyly emerged from the bathroom. I took a couple of steps out of the bathroom, stopping with my feet together, my hands clasped in front of me, my head tilted to one side and a nervous smile on my face.

“Well, d-do I look okay?” I stuttered.

It’s been a while since the last time.

“Yes! You look really pretty!” Christine gushed. “I knew you’d look great in that dress!”

“Thanks, Christine,” I smiled at the compliment.

“My God, Kyle! Christine is right! You make one hell of a pretty girl! It’s not just that the dress looks perfect on you, either. You have such soft features and . . . I mean . . . look at the way you’re standing, the way you’re holding your hands, the way you’re holding your head, and the way you’re smiling-”

“And blushing,” Christine added with a smirk.

“–and blushing. You look . . . so natural it’s almost . . . scary.”

I blushed at Taryn’s ebullient compliment, my eyes widening. I was thrilled, but . . .

“Really? Well, I, I know that’s a compliment, so thank you, but that’s . . . um . . . kind of disturbing.”

Wonderful, but disturbing.

Christine must not have thought so.

“Let’s give her a makeover!”

What? She never put makeup on me before!

“Her?” Taryn chortled at Christine, who rolled her eyes.

“Fine. Him,” she gave in.

“Well, the dare was to do this completely,” Taryn conceded.

“Whatever,” I shrugged.

At this point, I had gone far enough that makeup seemed like a small concession . . . until I saw my reflection made up with lipstick and mascara.

“Wow. That made a big difference! I really look like a girl now!” I pointed out, almost to myself.

Awww, I love the way I look! I want to cry I love it so much. That brought my train of thought to an abrupt stop. What? Wait a minute! Why the fuck do I want to cry right now? Why does dressing as a girl make me feel like this? Fuck, I need to figure this out, I really do!

“Yes, you do! Taryn, we have to do her nails!” Christine playfully begged.

“Yes, I guess we do,” Taryn slowly nodded as though she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing.

“Whatever,” I shook my head as I chuckled.

“Come on, Taryn, we said completely like a girl!” Christine pushed.

“Yes, we sure did,” she agreed.

Taryn directed me to sit down at her desk, where she turned my nails a shade of lavender that roughly matched the dress.

“Ooh, that looks pretty!” Christine bubbled.

It does look pretty — really pretty!

Christine was clearly enjoying turning me into a girl. I had to admit, I was loving it myself.

“Taryn, can we put jewelry on her?”

“You’re right. She could use some. Let’s see . . .”

Taryn rummaged through her jewelry, eventually producing a thin silver chain with a flat, heart-shaped pendant on it. Once she put it around my neck she went back to retrieve a pair of small silver clip-on hoop earrings, which she put on me as well. To my right ring finger, she added a thin silver ring with tiny, colorless cubic zirconium crystals all the way around it. When she was done, she declared the jewelry complete.

“We need to do her hair!” Christine declared.

“Hmm, that would perfect the look, wouldn’t it?” Taryn agreed.

“Oh, if you insist. Just do it,” I pretended not to care.

They merely laughed at me.

Taryn brushed my hair for a minute, picked out a silver barrette and used it to pull half of my hair back. Once she had that portion of my hair securely clasped in the barrette, we returned to the mirror.

“Wow, this is really amazing. How can our brother look so good as a girl?” Taryn marveled.

“Hey!” Christine turned to me. “Kyle, you have to wear this for Halloween.”

I like that idea! It means being dressed as a girl in public, of course . . . but it will be Halloween. It’ll be okay.

“Well, we’ll see,” I hedged.

“Yeah, we’ll see . . . you in a dress again!”

Christine had all three of us laughing.

You just might, Christine.

I stared at myself in the mirror, turning this way and that. I caught myself smiling a bit too much and toned it down, hoping my sisters didn’t see it . . . but, I turned around just in time to catch my sisters exchanging glances. Damn!

“Okay, Kyle,” Taryn began, “you’ve fulfilled the dare, so you can change back now-”

“Wait a second! We went to all this trouble to make her pretty. Why ruin it so soon?” Christine interrupted.

Suddenly, her eyes twinkled.

“In fact, Kyle, I triple dare you to stay dressed as a girl until Mom gets home!”

We giggled at Christine again.

“Well, we need to be careful not to wrinkle that pretty dress, but if Kyle chooses to accept his next dare, we can replace the dress and slip with a skirt and top. It’s your call, Kyle. Are you taking the dare?”

“What is this, some kind of a reality TV show?” I blurted.

“They should make a show like that! I’d watch it all the time!” Christine giggled.

“I probably would too,” Taryn chuckled at her.

So would I, actually.

But Christine was apparently not finished having fun with me yet.

“Come on, Kyle! You’ve come too far to back out now!”
After giving it a moment’s thought, I shrugged awkwardly.

“Oh, all right. I’m already dressed as a girl. I guess it won’t hurt anything. I’m not afraid of a dare — but remember, you gave your word. No telling!”

“Yup. No telling!” Christine looked at Taryn. “Taryn, get the lady a skirt!”

Christine was a real laugh-a-minute.

“Alrighty then!” Taryn agreed.

She went to her closet and picked out a knee-length denim skirt and a red sweater with a V-neck. The sweater had a swatch of white fabric sewn across the bottom of the V-neck to give the look of a camisole edged with filigree lace being worn underneath it.

After I redressed we gathered in front of Taryn’s full-length mirror again.

“What do you think, Kyle?” Christine probed.

“Oh, I guess I’ll be comfortable enough in this for, what, a few hours?” I replied, turning to see Christine giggling.

Taryn glanced at her with a look of suspicion.

“Christine, what’s so funny? Uh oh!” Taryn put one hand on her head and rolled her eyes.

“What?” I froze, suddenly nervous.

Taryn crossed her arms as she playfully stared at Christine.

“When is Mom coming home?” She quietly demanded.

“Sunday night,” Christine laughed.

I looked at Christine with my eyes bugging out of my head.

“What?? Christine!” I whined as I spun around to face her.

“Come on, Christine, quit kidding around,” Taryn playfully warned, her arms still crossed.

It seemed that Christine couldn’t help laughing.

“I’m not kidding around. She won’t be back until Sunday night!”

“Oh my God! You’re serious, aren’t you?” I stared at my deviant little sister.

“I’m totally serious! Who do you think I was talking to on the phone while you were dolling yourself up in the bathroom?" she snickered. “I guess you’re staying a girl all weekend. Unless you’re afraid of a dare.”

I felt my soul fill up with a bizarre mixture of thrill and nausea as I thought about remaining a girl until Sunday night.

I was somewhat annoyed that Christine had issued a dare without telling me everything, but she had ultimately done me a favor. I really did need to dress as a girl and she had given me a chance to do that again.

“You two are going to keep your word, aren’t you? No telling anyone, right?” I eyed Christine for a long moment.

“Right. No telling,” Christine agreed.

“Yeah. We’re not telling anyone,” Taryn affirmed.

I let out a long sigh.

“All right; you win. I’ll take the dare.”

“Yay! I’m proud of you, Kyle!”

Christine gave me a hug and Taryn hugged me right after.

Gee, that’s kind of nice! They haven’t hugged me since I was six!

“Thanks, sisters!”

“You’re welcome, Kyle!” Christine smiled.

“Well, I don’t know about you two,” I stared at myself in the mirror, not paying attention to my own words, “but suddenly, I’m hungry!”

"Me, too. How about you, Christine?”

“Yeah, me three. Let’s go out for pizza!” She kidded.
I looked at Christine with horror.

“Oooooh, no! I’m not going out as a girl! No way, no how!”

“Christine, we’ve done enough to poor Kyle. Let’s have pizza here instead, okay?” Taryn negotiated.

“All right. Let’s eat here,” she acquiesced.

“That sounds good!” I added.

Chapter 8: Friday, May 14, 2010

“That was good!”

“Yeah, they never fail to deliver! Pun intended,”
Christine smirked as we chuckled at her silly joke.

We rose from the table and cleaned up the kitchen after our pizza feast.

“What do you want to do now?” Christine asked.

I looked at her intently as I pondered the motivation behind that question.

“Gee, Christine, I don’t know. Is there anything else you wanted to dare me to do?”

“Oh, Kyle, please don’t tempt her!” Taryn put one hand on her forehead.

Christine merely smiled.

“Don’t worry. You’re right. We’ve done enough. This time it’s just a suggestion.”

“Okay. Let’s hear it,” I smiled at Christine.

“Want to try on a few other clothes?”

“Well, I am already staying a girl until Sunday night. What difference does it make to try on a few things, right?”

“Right. Come on!” Christine beamed.

We went back up to Taryn’s room where we raided the clothes that were headed for Goodwill.

For the next two hours, we dressed me up in dresses, skirts, various tops, and even a few different colored pairs of tights. I loved every minute of it — though I hoped it wasn’t obvious. At the end of the night, we decided to change into our nightclothes before watching a movie. Since there were a couple of nightgowns that Taryn planned to give to Goodwill, I ended up wearing a pink nightie with tiny flowers on it.

When we sat down in front of the television, Christine had me sit down in front of a wing chair. She sat in the wing chair, doing my hair in a single braid behind my head. I enjoyed the treatment!

After the movie ended, taking with it one of the best days I ever had, we headed off to bed and I removed my makeup. I slept in the nightgown with my hair in the braid.

Chapter 9: Saturday, May 15, 2010

We had breakfast the next morning in our nightclothes. Our meal consisted of scrambled eggs and toast with apple butter. It turned out delicious. After we cleaned up, we went upstairs to get dressed.

Christine began thinking aloud before we reached the top of the stairs.

“We have to pick out something for our new sister to wear.”

“Yes, we do,” Taryn agreed.

“You should take a bath first, though, Kyle. It will make your skin soft. You’ll love it. Trust me!” Christine insisted.

“That’s a good idea! It’ll help to put you in a girly mindset for the day — oh, and Kyle, there’s some really nice lavender body wash in there. You should use it, okay?”

“Oh, joy,” I quipped, secretly eager to use the lavender body wash.

I headed for the tub and ran the bathwater. I used the body wash, which I loved. After I was done, I dared to take a few minutes to luxuriate in the tub. I began to think about the way I was enjoying my experimentation with femininity.

I love being dressed as a girl. It really feels so good inside, though I don’t really know why. I mean . . . being a girl should only feel good to a girl . . . but it sure feels good to me. Does that mean that I am a girl? I don’t think it necessarily does; at least, not on its own. But then again, being a boy sure as hell doesn’t work for me. All the guys at school think I’m a sissy wimp and I don’t understand them to save my life. I seem to understand girls okay, though — like when I overheard Susan talking to Cynthia at school.

I understood completely when Susan said that she was worried that her boyfriend didn’t love her anymore because he was acting funny and he wouldn’t tell her what was going on.

* * * * *

The conversation took place in front of a row full of ancient lockers the color of hot mustard. Susan’s locker was only about five feet away from mine. A couple of guys, Jake and Adam, had neighboring lockers about the same distance to Susan’s other side.

“I’m afraid he’s seeing someone else behind my back,” Susan wailed.

“Why, Susan? What’s been happening?” Cynthia put a gentle hand on her friend’s shoulder.

Susan quickly wiped away a tear.

“He’s been distant for like two weeks and he won’t tell me what’s wrong or what’s going on. He hasn’t been affectionate either. He hasn’t hugged me in ten days! I mean, sure, it would be one thing if we only saw each other once a week, but we see each other every day. Hell, we have four classes together!”

“Uh oh. That’s not good.”

Jake and Adam began laughing at poor Susan, who looked at them with annoyance.

“No, it’s not. I just hope he isn’t cheating on me - and I’m not accusing him of cheating on me, not yet. I’m just worried about it. I just don’t know why else he wouldn’t tell me what’s going on with him. He usually does — and he has never gone this long without at least giving me a quick hug or two.”

“Have you asked him if he’s cheating on you?”

“Not yet . . . but I’m about to do just that-”

Jake and Adam were still laughing at Susan. I couldn’t believe those two assholes! How could they laugh at Susan when her heart was breaking like that?

Susan finally snapped at them.

“What is your problem, you two? Do you think it’s funny when a guy treats his girlfriend this way?”

I certainly didn’t.

“Look, it’s nothing personal,” Jake insisted. “Guys just need some space sometimes. You girls just don’t understand. That’s all.”

“Yeah, well, people have feelings!” Susan fired right back. “When you close yourself off to someone you love, it hurts! You boys just don’t understand. That’s all!”

“Jesus Christ! Don’t be such a fucking nag, Susan. Shit, no wonder he’s not into you anymore,” Adam snorted.

“Fuck you!”

Susan slammed her locker and walked away in tears. Cynthia did her best to comfort her as they walked. Poor Susan! I totally felt for her. Those guys were being such insensitive pricks!

I glared at Jake and Adam, trying my best to conceal my contempt but not quite succeeding.

“What are you looking at, you little faggot?”

I’m looking at a couple of giant assholes.

“Nothing,” I replied.

I looked back at the girls. As I watched them walk down the hall, I realized that I had witnessed a classic boy versus girl tiff — and I had understood the girl, not the boy! It was the girl I wanted to defend!

* * * * *

Relaxing in the sudsy, sweet-smelling bath, I leaned my head back with my eyes closed as I digested my thoughts.

I really understand why Susan felt the way she did. Of course Susan was worried! If I were in a situation like hers, I would feel worried about my partner’s affections waning, too — but that’s just it. It’s always the girls I understand and never the boys. But how can that be? Am I just a nice guy who likes to dress as a girl? Then again, there’s a huge difference between being a nice guy and actually understanding Susan’s point of view - and I really understood her point of view, almost as though I were feeling her feelings. Maybe I really am a girl. God, I really need to know!

I heard a knock on the door just as I let out a deep sigh.

“Kyle, you need to get out of the tub before you turn into a big white raisin!” Christine giggled at her own humor.

“You’re probably right,” I chuckled. “Okay, here I come!”

I eased out of the bath, marveling at just how much I had enjoyed it as I opened up the drain. I took a minute to dry myself off with a fluffy, white towel before wrapping the towel around me as a girl would and heading for Taryn’s lilac room.

“I’m back!”

“Good. Let’s get you dressed!”

Taryn had picked out an outfit, which was now waiting on the bed for me. I liked what I saw. The burgundy knee-length corduroy skirt looked comfortable. It was a perfect match to the soft sweater with a scoop neck in shades of burgundy, gray and white. The pair of black, casual, leather flats that Taryn picked out were a great touch. As she rummaged in the Goodwill bag for underwear, I noticed that she pulled out a white bra and panty set . . . and another pair of white tights.

I could feel my anticipation building at the thought of dressing as a girl again. I knew I needed to keep my reaction to a minimum. All right, Kyle. Poker face!

“Tights again, huh?” I observed nonchalantly.

Christine and Taryn giggled at me.

“Yeah. If you’re okay with tights,” Christine answered, knowing perfectly well that I enjoyed wearing hose.

“Um, sure . . . I guess.”

Christine and Taryn exchanged glances right in front of me.

“What?”

“It’s really nothing, Kyle. I think we’re both just curious if you like tights,” Taryn admitted.

Christine just smiled at me knowingly, giggling at me while my mind worked.

Shit. How the hell am I supposed to answer that? Should I lie to my own sister or admit that I love wearing tights? Damn it!

“Well, they’re comfortable enough, I guess,” I hedged.

“Okay then. Your outfit for today is on the bed. Come back in here when you’re done getting dressed and I’ll redo your braid for you. Braids are pretty but sleeping in them can mess them up a little bit.”

I rolled my eyes as I shook my head in a good-natured way.

“Whatever.”

At that, I headed for my room to get dressed, grabbing the outfit along the way. I carefully closed my door behind me and put my outfit on the bed. I smiled at the pretty clothes I was about to put on. I got myself dressed quickly enough that I sat on my bed for a few minutes so my sisters wouldn’t wonder why I got dressed so fast.

As I passed the time, I looked around my room. The only color on my off-white walls came from the posters of rock groups. My navy comforter added a dab of color. The dark green futon chair lent its own touch of humanity. Yet, the room was still not very comfortable.

I grimaced as I realized that my room felt wrong. It might have been because I was dressed as a girl, but I found myself wishing to redecorate my room.

But redecorate it how? Like Taryn’s room, which is comfortable? Why the hell do I find her room more comfortable than mine anyway? Shit, I don’t know what I’m thinking anymore.

When enough time had passed, I walked back to Taryn’s room, where she refreshed my braid, as promised, and applied my makeup. Before long, she finished me off by adorning me with the same jewelry she’d picked out the previous night.

“You look pretty again, Kyle.”

“Oh. Thanks, Christine. Hey, um . . .”

Shit, do I really want to say this? Well . . . what can it hurt?

“What is it, Kyle?”

“Well, I was just . . . kind of thinking . . . I might want to . . . use a different name when I’m . . . dressed like this,” I stammered.

They exchanged glances again.

“Okay. Do you know what you’d like us to call you?”

Should I really say this? Yeah, I guess it’s okay.
They’re not laughing at me.

“I kind of like the name Lilli.”

“That’s a pretty name. That’s what Mom was going to name you if you were born a girl. I wonder why Mom didn’t name me Lilli when I was born. You came out a boy, after all!” Christine mock-pouted, eliciting a giggle from Taryn.

“Mom actually told me the reason once. When she was pregnant with Lilli, she felt that Lilli was a gentle soul because of the way she moved inside of Mom. There were no rough kicks or abrupt movements. She could feel you moving, but your moves were gentle. As for you, Christine, when Mom was pregnant with you, well, you were too feisty to be a Lilli.”

“Rats!” She continued her mock-pout for a couple of seconds before smiling brightly. “Just kidding. I love my name. So what do you want to do now? We’ve already tried on everything in the Goodwill bags.”

“Well, knowing Mom, she probably asked us to do some housework when she called,” Taryn supposed.

“Oh yeah. She did,” Christine admitted with chagrin.

“Yeah, she would. Anyway, let’s get that done now and we’ll have some more fun after lunch,” Taryn suggested.

“Come on.”

We spent the next couple of hours vacuuming, dusting, cleaning and emptying wastebaskets. I had not partaken of such activities before, but I found it unexpectedly satisfying to help out.

Chapter 10: Saturday, May 15, 2010

We had lunch at one o’clock, and as we ate, we talked about what we would do for the afternoon. Christine started a new ball rolling when she asked a seemingly innocent question. Perhaps more accurately, I did when I answered her.

“Do you like being a girl, Lilli?”

Uh oh. I need a neutral answer. Quick!

“Oh, well, I don’t know if I’m really being a girl just hanging around the house,” I tried before I abruptly froze.

Wrong answer! Shit! I know exactly how Christine’s going to respond to that!

Christine looked at Taryn for a moment.

“Well, you don’t have to stay in the house. I’m sure we could think of a safe enough way to take you out somewhere.”

Note to self: never talk without thinking! Damn it! I silently scolded myself as Taryn raised her eyebrows.

“What you do think, Lilli?”

I do want to go out somewhere but I don’t think I have the nerve. Besides, I don’t want them to think I like this too much — even if I really am a girl.

“Oh . . . w-well . . .”

“If anyone asks, you can just say that I dared you to,” Christine suggested with a plucky smile. “I’m not daring you to, just so you know, but you can still say that.”

“Um . . . w-well . . .”

“Although,” Christine smiled evilly, “I can dare you for real if it helps any!”

I shot her a look.

“Please don’t!” Taryn chuckled.

Asking Christine not to dare me only made her smile more. Forbid a teenager to do something . . .

“I dare you to take a walk with us while you’re still dressed as a girl!”

Aw, shit. I need to learn to turn down stupid dares!

“Lilli, you should only accept a dare if you’re really comfortable with it. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Taryn refereed.

“Wet blanket!” Christine stuck her tongue out at her.

"Quiet, you!" Taryn looked at her as though daring her to talk back again.

Do I want to? Well . . . yes. I do want to. I have fantasized about that, but I just don’t think that . . . but then again, I really do need to know . . . and this might really help.

“Lilli?” Taryn gently prodded, turning back to me.

“I’m thinking.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what, Lilli.” Christine was back in her persistent mode. “We don’t have to talk to anybody or go anyplace specific. We can just walk down the street a ways and walk back. We don’t have to stay out very long either.”

I really don’t know if I should. But I feel like I have to. How else am I ever going to figure out if I really am a girl? Besides, this time it’s a dare. I might never have that excuse again. I don’t get dared to walk around outside as a girl every day. This is the only time that’s ever happened to me. I doubt it will happen again. I have to do this. I really have to.

I swallowed.

“Okay. I’ve decided.”

I looked back and forth between my sisters.

“I’m going to do it.”

They cheered and hugged me again. I loved it when they did that!

“We can’t go anywhere, though. I can only get myself to do this if it’s just down the street and back.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do. Do you want to go now or wait for a bit?” Christine asked eagerly.

I thought for a moment.

“I should probably do it now before I change my mind.”

“Okay! Let's go!”

Christine sure seemed eager for this to happen! I was kind of excited, but I was more afraid. I wished that I could be as enthusiastic as she was.

Our afternoon plans decided, we cleaned up after our lunch. Taryn handed me a small, black purse and long, black coat that went with my outfit.

“There isn’t anything in the purse, but . . . you really do look better with it.”

I wondered about the purse, but if it was going to help me look normal then I was all for it! I accepted the purse and slipped the strap over my shoulder.

“Thanks. I guess I’ll put my wallet, cell phone and house keys in it.”

“Now you’re thinking like a girl!” Christine quipped, but stopped, wondering if she should have said that.

I really didn’t mind. I chuckled at her remark, hoping it would deliver the message.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome,” she uttered with hint of relief.

When I came back down the stairs after retrieving my cell phone, keys and wallet - just in case - we headed for the front door.

I took a deep breath and Taryn paused at the door.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

No, I am not sure about this at all, but I really need to know if I’m a girl!

“I’m as ready as I’m going to get. Let’s go.”

“All right,” Taryn smiled, opening the front door.

“We’re proud of you, Lilli! This takes courage!”

Christine reassured with a gentle shoulder rub.

“Yeah!” Taryn agreed.

I smiled warmly at my sisters.

“Thanks, you two.”

I felt myself step into a different world as I walked out the door. When Taryn locked the door behind us, I got a funny feeling that something within me was now locked into the past. We slowly turned and walked down the street.

My gait was as stiff as a two-by-four during the first few blocks of our walk. I did the best I could to be natural and I soon relaxed. It helped that we walked at a relaxed pace, bathed in warm sunlight beneath a bright, blue sky.

Taryn leaned close to whisper to me.

“Wow, Lilli, I don’t think we even need to tell you how to walk like a girl. Have you been practicing?”

I turned as red as the stop sign we were approaching.

“No, of course not.”

Christine giggled.

“Lilli always walked like that,” Christine giggled. “Haven’t you ever noticed, Taryn?”

I looked at Christine in surprise.

“I have? Really?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry; it’s okay.”

I began to relax as we bantered. A couple of times, we were passed by people walking the other way, including a boy who was somewhere around my age. He looked at me in a way I’ve never seen a boy look at me in my life! I turned around to see if he was still looking — and he was!

Wow. That was weird — like 'Twilight Zone' weird.

“I think he likes you!” Christine kidded me.

“Oh, please don’t!” I blurted.

“It’s only natural for a girl to want a boyfriend, you know!” She teased.

“I have a major crush on Mira. You know that!”

“I know.” Christine softened up. “I was only kidding.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Hey, Lilli,” Taryn changed the subject. “How come you call her Mira?”

“I don’t know. I think I started that accidentally,” I giggled, “and, well, she never corrected me, so . . . it just kind of stuck. Why do you ask?” I fingered my pendant unconsciously.

“No important reason. It’s just that everyone else I know calls her Miranda.”

“Really? I didn’t know that. I wonder why she lets me call her Mira?”

“I don’t know. That’s probably a good question,” Taryn smiled knowingly.

“Ooo! Ice cream!” Christine squealed.

I looked around to see what she was shrieking at and found that we were walking up to the local Ben & Jerry's.

Oh, God. Christine loves that place!

“Want to go in?” she smiled hopefully.

“It might be fun to stop in there. I could use a little ice cream. What do you think, Lilli?” Taryn checked.

I wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea, but thus far, I hadn’t experienced life as a girl except for the few people that passed us going the other way. I decided that I still didn’t know how it felt to really be a girl. I glanced inside the ice cream parlor and saw only three other people. Maybe the poor owners could use the business.

Gawd, I don’t know if I should do this. On the other hand, when is this going to happen again? What if this is my only chance? I need to fucking figure myself out! Anyway, if I don’t do this, then what the hell was the point of leaving the house as a girl?

“Let’s go in,” I decided.

“I’m impressed, Lilli!” Christine grinned at me.

“Me, too! We’re so proud of you that we’re making it our treat. How about that?” Taryn proposed.

Now, that was hard to argue with!

“Sounds good to me!”

We all ordered a cup of ice cream and sat at a tiny table to eat it. The cashier had smiled at me and addressed me as Miss. I had liked it more than I had expected to.

One of the other three people in the ice cream parlor was a girl who was about six years old. She abruptly hurried over to me to chat.

“What’s your name?”

“I’m Lilli. What’s your name?” I smiled warmly at her.

“My name’s Jocelyn. I like your braid. It’s so pretty!” she gushed.

I beamed as I took in the compliment.

“Thank you, Jocelyn. I love your pigtails, too. They look adorable on you,” I reciprocated.

“Thank you!”

Jocelyn giggled as her parents approached.

“Time to go home, Jocelyn. I hope she wasn’t bothering you.” Her mother was looking at me, making me very nervous. I gave them all a smile.

“Oh, she was no bother at all. She’s adorable!” I assured the family.

“Yeah, she’s very cute!” Christine concurred.

Jocelyn giggled, buried her head in her mother’s leg, and uttered a muffled reply as her mother chuckled at her.

“I think she’s saying thank you.”

“You’re welcome!” I smiled again.

“Well, you three girls have fun,” the mother directed to me.

“Thank you. We will.”

I beamed at Jocelyn and her family.

We waited long enough for the family to leave the ice cream parlor before Christine started in.

“You were great with Jocelyn, Lilli!”

“Yeah, you were. How did it feel?” Taryn enthused.

I was still smiling broadly.

“It felt really good.”

“Cool!”

Christine gave me a knowing look that Taryn, thankfully, did not pick up on — but Christine obviously knew I was feeling great! I was so comfortable being myself that I forgot there was anything unusual about my appearance.

“Hi, Taryn! Hi, Christine!”

I smiled when I saw Mira approaching with a cup of ice cream. I had had a massive crush on her since the fifth grade. What a treat it would be to have her join my sisters and I at our table!

“Hi! Do you want to join us?” I smiled brightly at her.

Taryn and Christine glanced at each other.

“Er, yeah, sit down with us! It’s nice to see you, Miranda!” Taryn smiled deliberately, Christine following suit.

Mira smiled at me and sat down next to me.

“Hi, I’m Miranda. Is it okay if I sit here?” she inquired earnestly.

Next to me??

“Yeah, sure!” I beamed at her.

Wait, why is she introducing herself to me?

Taryn and Christine looked at me as though they were checking on me.

And what’s their problem?

I smiled at them as I enjoyed myself. It was a nice day, the ice cream tasted great and Mira was sitting next to me!

Mira looked at me askance for a moment, as though I had forgotten something.

“So, what’s your name?” she asked.

“I’m Lilli,” I replied merrily.

Suddenly, I half-choked on a bite of ice cream as alarm bells sounded in my head.

Oh my God! I’m dressed as a girl in front of Mira in tights and everything! If Mira figures out who I am she will never want me!

I stared down at my ice cream as I felt my heart sink and my emotions swell. I could no longer enjoy myself.

Unfortunately, Mira noticed.

“Lilli, are you okay?” she asked tenderly.

Oh, GOD, this not happening! Think fast! What would suddenly make a girl feel upset?

I finished the last two bites of my ice cream to gain some time to think.

“Y-yeah, um, just um,” I leaned forward and lowered my voice, “it’s just that my ‘monthly visitor’ is a total bitch, that’s all. She likes to show up unannounced and surprise me right when I’m having fun,” I mock-griped.

I may not have ovaries but I am in pain!

Taryn didn’t seem quite sure what to do, but Christine came right to my rescue. She reached across the table and gently put one hand on my forearm.

“Oh, sweetie, well let’s get you home, yeah?”

“I think that would be best, yes,” I smiled weakly.

Otherwise I might start crying right here.

“I’d be happy to give you a ride,” Mira offered, hastily finishing her ice cream.

Shit. This is getting better and better. Where, oh, where will it end? I silently bemoaned.

I stiffened again as another thought hit me.

Oh, God! What if she knows it’s me when she drops me off at my house with Taryn and Christine? Fuck!! What do I do?

“Thanks, Miranda. Let’s go!” Christine accepted, making the choice for me.

“Yeah, thanks, M-Miranda. That’s a good idea,” I agreed. I supposed that it would get me home quicker.

“Oh, no problem! That’s what friends are for, right?” she smiled.

We disposed of our empty ice cream cups and piled into Mira’s shiny red VW Bug. Two minutes later, Mira pulled up in front of our house. It was enough time for me to do some quick thinking.

During the ride home I realized that I didn’t care who knew I wasn’t born a girl, mainly because nobody did. I was only upset about the potential loss of any possibility of romance with the girl I loved like no other — and that hurt more than words could express!

My stomach began to feel upset and I placed a hand on my abdomen, which unbeknownst to me, slipped several inches down amidst the bumps on the way home.

Taryn noticed this as she got out and she helped me out of the car. I didn’t know exactly why she was doing that, but I went along with it. I looked back at Mira for a moment.

“Thanks for driving us, M-Miranda,” I deliberately used her full name.

I could not look at her anymore. It hurt me too much. I looked away, hoping that I didn’t look away too fast. As I turned for the front door with Christine, I heard Miranda briefly speak to Taryn.

“Is she okay, Taryn?”

“Yeah, she is.”

“I hope I didn’t do anything . . .”

“You didn’t. Really.” Taryn tried to reassure her.

“Okay. Well, um . . . I guess I’ll . . . I’ll . . . head home myself,” Mira trailed off.

“Okay. Take care, Miranda. We’ll see you later,” Taryn reassured her.

“Yeah. You too.”

Taryn closed the car door and I heard the car drive away. As I reached the front door, I turned around to watch Mira drive away while Taryn opened the door. Right when I did, Mira stopped at a stop sign and I thought I saw her turn around and look back at me. I looked away before she recognized me and stepped inside.

Chapter 11: Sunday, May 16, 2010

“Lilli?” Mira gently shook me. “What are you thinking about?”

Her question gently brought me back to the basement, where I awaited my fate.

“I was, um . . . I was thinking about Friday when we ran into you at the ice cream shop and you saw my true self for the first time.”

“Yeah?” Mira smiled.

“Yeah. I guess I’m just . . . I guess my life is kind of flashing before my eyes or something,” I giggled half-heartedly.

“Hey, now!” Christine threw an arm around me. “You’re not dying here — and Mom is not going to kill you, either! She may be uncomfortable — and she might make you be a boy for school and stuff, at least for now, but she’s not going to ream you out or anything, okay?”

“I know. I just can’t help worrying about it, that’s all.”

Unwilling to dwell on the possibility of my mother making me be a boy, my mind sought ways to escape the room, and I let it go where it would.

PART THREE IS COMING SOON!

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Budding Lilli Part 3

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

17,500 < Novella < 40,000 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

This time: What will Lilli do about Mira, the girl she loves?

BUDDING LILLI - PART 3

Chapter 12: Saturday, May 15, 2010

“Lilli, are you okay?”

Taryn closed the front door behind us. I could still faintly hear Mira’s car driving away.

“No,” I mumbled, letting out a long sigh. “She would never even consider going out with me now. Not after meeting Lilli.”

I stopped as I realized that something felt wrong about that sentence — and I knew what it was. It felt wrong to use my feminine name in the third person. I was Lilli — even if I was also Kyle. Still . . .

“Well, Lilli, I don’t think she knew about you,” Taryn tried to persuade me.

“I think she figured it out — she turned around and looked at me when she got to that stop sign as she drove away,” I countered.

“Awww. Poor girl. We never meant for this to happen!” Christine hugged me and Taryn made it a group hug.

“I know. I’m not mad at you two at all. I was the one who chose to go into that ice cream parlor. But I needed to go in there! If I didn’t live as a girl, at least a little, then what was the point of leaving the house?”

“That’s true.” Taryn nodded as though deciding that she would try to cheer me up. “You know, Lilli, that remark about your monthly visitor was pretty funny.”

Christine giggled but I could only manage a weak smile.

“Yeah,” I admitted. I paused before I hastily explained, “I wasn’t making fun of menstruation or anything. I just needed something to say that wouldn’t blow my cover.”

“We know,” Christine smirked as she tucked a loose lock of hair behind my ear.

“Oh. Good,” I sighed. “I think I need some alone time right now. I’m just, um . . .” I gestured over my shoulder with my thumb. “I’m just going to go up to my room for a while.”

“Okay. We’ll leave you alone, but just so you know, we’d be happy to talk with you, too, if you need to talk about it,” Taryn advised me.

I thought for a moment. I did want to talk about it but I didn’t know exactly what I needed to talk about.

“Maybe later. Thanks, Taryn.”

“You’re welcome.”

* * * * *

I turned around and trudged up to my room. I went inside, closed the door, and sat on my bed. I felt a lump in my throat as tears began to flow and, for the first time, I did nothing to suppress them. I let them come; I would have welcomed them were it not for the reason they were present.

Removing my shoes, I lay down on my bed, carefully smoothing my skirt as I did so. As I laid my head on my pillow, staring at my ceiling, all I could think about was Mira. I reached for a tissue from my nightstand to dry my eyes as more tears flowed. After several minutes, the tears stopped. I felt numb. I lay there trying to figure myself out.

I had liked being treated as a girl at the ice cream parlor and I had even enjoyed the way that Mira seemed to accept me as a girl. It felt good to chat with Jocelyn just like a girl. But was I a girl? I still couldn’t figure it out.

One thing had become clear, however. I was not a boy. There was no way I was a boy. I found boys annoying, insensitive and incomprehensible more often than not. When that boy had ogled me on the way to the ice cream parlor, I felt different from him; I felt that I was not like him. There was just something different between us.

I realized that I had always felt that way around boys. Where I should have felt similarity I felt only difference. We were not of the same kind. I didn’t know what my kind was, but I knew it wasn’t that! I was not a boy. That meant that I was a girl or . . . or what? What was the alternative? Was I non-gendered or bi-gendered? Did such things even exist?

Other than the fact that I was not a boy, the only thing I knew with any certainty was that Mira would never want me either way, not as a girl and not as a non-gendered or bi-gendered person. There might have been a chance in a hundred that Mira could overlook seeing me dressed as a girl if I were a boy, but I now knew that I was not a boy.

I closed my eyes as tears resumed leaking. The lump returned to my throat. Somewhere between sobbing and drying my eyes, I drifted off to sleep.

* * * * *

When Taryn came to my door and woke me up, I saw that it was dark outside.

“We’re going to have dinner soon. Are you feeling any better? I know you must feel heartsick.”

I slowly sat up as Taryn sat down next to me and put one arm around me.

“I feel a little better, I guess,” I rasped as I looked out the window. “Wow. I was out for a while, huh?”

“Yeah. Just under three hours.”

I continued staring out my window as I considered whether to tell my sister what I'd been thinking about. I took a breath, and my words were just there with my exhalation.

“I’m not a boy, Taryn. There’s no way I’m a boy . . . there’s just no way.”

I paused, my mind drifting around somewhere outside.

“Wow.”

Taryn waited for me to continue my ponderous soliloquy.

“I don’t know if I’m a girl or if I’m just . . . non-gendered or something, but . . . I’m not a boy. Boys piss me off.”

Taryn giggled at me and I abruptly joined her. I felt a bit better after telling Taryn of my gender struggles.

“Well, boys piss me off a lot, too. Just be glad you’re not attracted to them at the same time. Trust me; it can be a real head fuck.”

We shared a giggle as I stood up and put my shoes back on.

“I bet it is — and I don’t envy you,” I laughed again. “Anyway, I think I’d like to let Christine in on what’s going through my head. Come on.”

“Okay.”

I glanced at my mirror on the way out.

“Oh, shit. I messed up my braid again.”

“That’s okay. Let me fix it for you.”

“Thanks. No wonder girls don’t wear braids that often!”

We shared a giggle as Taryn deftly rewove my braid.

Chapter 13: Saturday, May 15, 2010

Christine was sitting in our mother’s office, using her computer to access the Internet. Taryn and I sat down in a couple of guest chairs that our mom kept in her office.

“Hey, Christine. Got a minute?” I smiled at her.

She looked at me with an expression that told me she was puzzled. Suddenly, she spun her chair to face us and propped her feet on the desk.

“Okay, the doctor is in. What’s going on, you two?”

“I was doing some thinking upstairs, Christine — well, I was before I fell asleep,” I chuckled.

“Okay,” she gently prompted.

“I am very clear on something now and I wanted to tell you.”

“Well, okay. You can tell me whenever you’re ready,” she encouraged.

“Okay. Here it is. I know now that I am not a boy,” I stated.

Christine looked at me, with her eyebrows raised and her head cocked slightly to one side.

“Wow. So do you mean you’re a girl?”

I paused again as I puzzled over how to answer that question.

“W-well, I-I don’t know. I might be a girl or I might be . . . well, ‘non-gendered’ for lack of a better word. But I’m not a boy.”

“Whoa! I can’t imagine what it must have been like to figure that out. That must have been hard. But anyway, that’s totally okay with me,” Christine insisted as she got up and hugged me.

“Thanks, Christine.”

I thought for a moment as I looked back and forth between my sisters.

“You know what? I love it when we hug each other. I seriously doubt many boys would say that.”

Christine’s eyebrows seemed to stretch higher.

“Yeah, I doubt that, too. So, um . . . how did you figure out that you’re not a boy?”

“It’s a lot of things, actually, but just to give you an example, whenever I’m around boys I feel like we’re different, like you or I would feel if we were standing in downtown Tokyo. I feel like I don’t come from the same world as boys do. I feel like I’m surrounded with a different culture and a different language. I feel like I don’t know the land and I can’t read the street signs and I have no idea where I’m going or what I’m doing.

“When I’m around girls, though, it’s more like I’m standing in downtown right here. I feel that I’m with people like me, people who . . . well, who come from where I come from and who are familiar with the place we come from as much as I am. I feel like I could talk to any one of them about where we come from and they would say, ‘oh yeah, I know just what you’re talking about’. They would also be speaking a language that I speak naturally. Am I making any sense?”

Christine’s eyebrows were still raised.

“Yes, I understand what you’re saying. That’s . . . amazing. It’s really amazing. Wow. I’ve never felt anything like that — but if I think about it now, I guess I do feel the same way around boys that you do, like they’re from a different planet — a planet that I never want to visit for that matter,” she joked, winning a round of chuckles.

“Although,” she added, “I guess it sounds like you were born there and you were expected to turn out like one of them, but you’re more like . . . well, I was going to say a Venusian on Mars, but I know that you’re not sure yet.”

“Well, you certainly have the right idea, though.”

I told Christine and Taryn about overhearing Susan’s conversation with Cynthia and feeling acute understanding for Susan’s predicament. They both seemed surprised at that one.

“Okay, you are definitely not a boy!” Taryn declared.

“Yeah! No boy would ever understand that, let alone say that! If a boy ever says that - who is a boy on the inside, anyway - then I want to marry him!” Christine joked.

“Unless I find him first!” Taryn challenged.

I laughed at my sisters, but part of me hurt when they said that. They both said that they wanted a boy who really was a boy; a normal boy. I was sure that most girls felt that way. Mira probably felt the same way. I decided it was time to change the subject.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m getting hungry again.”

“Yeah, me too,” Christine agreed.

Taryn took charge of making dinner happen.

“That makes three of us. We had pizza last night, so let’s make some pasta tonight, okay?”

“Sure!”

“Sounds good.”

“Okay,” Taryn approved, “Let’s get started with the preparation. I’ve already set the dining room table.”

Dining room table? We only eat in the dining room when we’re expecting company!

“Y-yeah, I’ll be right there,” I stammered. “Let me just use the bathroom.”

“Okay. We’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

I hung back as they headed over to the kitchen, and I hurried to the guest bathroom to take care of business. When I finished, I stole over to the dining room to see if Taryn was serious about setting the dining room table. It was true — and it looked really nice, too! So who the hell was coming over?

Chapter 14: Saturday, May 15, 2010

I turned to leave the dining room, intent on interrogating my sisters, when the doorbell rang. I froze in my tracks.

There were narrow windows on either side of the front door that afforded a complete view of the foyer. There was a door leading to the kitchen at the other end of the dining room, but that door was visible from the front stoop through the dining room window. If I didn’t want to be seen dressed as a girl then I could not leave the dining room! I was trapped where I was!

I could do nothing but wait as Taryn walked out of the kitchen and answered the door. When she opened the door, I could see who was standing there — looking nervously back at me.

“Hi, Miranda. I’m glad you could make it.”

Taryn hugged my friend, whom I knew Taryn had invited. I looked at Taryn in shock before returning my stare to Mira, who continued to look at me.

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Mira admitted.

Mira glanced at Taryn but she was still looking at me. She had recognized me. I could feel it. Now she also knew that I was still dressed as a girl four hours after we left the ice cream parlor! I stood rooted to the spot with my mind seized up. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. The only thing I managed to say was, “Excuse me.”

I darted up the stairs to my room, where I closed the door behind me, slumping on my bed with fresh tears running down my face. Of all people, it had to be Mira, the one person I couldn’t possibly face — and Taryn invited her! How could she do that to me? It had hurt me to even look at Mira. I grabbed my pillow to hug it, burying my face in it as I cried, blocking out the boyish room around me.

Less than a minute had passed when I heard a knock on my door.

“Lilli? May I come in? Please?” Mira begged. “I really need to talk to you. I really need to understand what’s happening.”

I paused as I tried to regain my composure.

“Lilli, please talk to me.”

I knew how much Mira needed me to talk with her. She was worried that I might be angry with her or that she had done something wrong. I had understood Susan when she talked to Cynthia and I understood Mira now. She needed me to communicate with her - and I wasn’t about to leave her hanging. I wrestled my composure under control, put down my pillow and rose to open my door for Mira.

I pulled my door open to find Mira standing there, looking at me with deep apprehension on her face. She definitely needed to talk. I opened my door fully, standing aside for her as I wiped another tear from one cheek.

“Come on in. Please, make yourself comfortable.”

I stood in front of the mirror on my dresser, still wearing my sister’s clothes as the girl I loved sat on my bed. I was very nervous and I had been crying. It was hard for me to think straight.

“If you need to think for a minute, it’s really okay,” Mira assured me with a smile.

I loved a pretty smile on a pretty girl, but Mira’s smile had always melted my heart like cheese on a hot pizza. I longed to tell her that, but . . . fat chance now.

I swallowed as I struggled to relate my story, grateful that the two of us were alone in the room.

“I, um . . .” I took a ragged breath as I wiped away another tear.

“I need to explain why I’m dressed like this.” I looked at her hopefully.

“Okay. Please tell me. I’d love to hear all about it,” Mira smiled at me.

“Okay. Good,” I nodded as I took a breath of cautious relief.

“W-well, um . . . on Friday . . . Christine was helping Taryn clean out her closet . . . because it was really full and she had a bunch of stuff that she doesn’t wear any more. I was also helping because . . . well . . . I was bored.”

I chuckled ruefully at how silly that sounded. It was a half-truth, but blurting out that I loved my sister’s clothes was no way to start explaining myself.

“I-I mean . . . I had felt . . . off . . . for a few months by then and . . . I just didn’t have much of an appetite for the stuff I usually like. I guess I thought it would be, um . . . entertaining,” I sighed, the irony not lost on me.

I dared to glance over at Mira and I saw that she was still smiling at me. That helped me relax somewhat, but as I continued my story I was too timid to look at her again and I stared at my reflection as I resumed where I had left off.

“Anyway, um . . . Christine started joking that this really beautiful lavender dress would look good on me. Then she took it further . . .”

I told her about everything, right up until we got to the ice cream parlor. I left that out since she’d been present for that part of it. Mira then asked me if it was my first time dressing as a girl. I decided to be totally open and honest with her. I explained my history of dressing as a girl and even my exploration of my gender.

“Wow. You really have been struggling, haven’t you?”

I finally looked over at Mira and smiled at her.

“Yeah, I have. Anyway, Mira, now you know that I was never upset with you and you didn’t do anything wrong or hurt me in any way.”

“Okay. Good. I’m really glad to know that. Thank you for telling me,” she smiled, her tension visibly leaving her.

“You’re welcome.”

“Come and sit with me. Please?” Mira patted the bed in an alluring manner.

Without hesitation, I sat down next to her, tending to my skirt as I did. Much to my delight, she hugged me tightly. When she was done, she kept her arms around me.

“Lilli, can I ask a question?”

“Of course you can,” I smiled at Mira. “Go ahead.”

“When we were at the ice cream parlor . . . what was that awful look of pain I saw on your face after I arrived?”

I gulped and took a breath.

“That was when it hit me that . . . that, um . . .” I took another breath. “God, I don’t know how to say this . . . I-I don’t know if . . . if you even want to know this . . .”

I looked down at my hands, which had begun to shake, as Mira gently took them into hers before looking me in the eyes very earnestly.

“I do want to know. Really. I want to know everything. Please,” she implored as she gently squeezed my hands.

Wow. She really does want to know.

“Just, um . . . just take it a step at a time,” she encouraged. “I’m not going to go anywhere.”

“Okay.”

I took another breath. I tried to figure out how to say what I needed to say, but my mind was not working very well. I decided to just say it.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I . . . I have some pretty strong romantic feelings for you. I have had those feelings for a long time.”

A tear slid down my cheek. I could scarcely say it.

“At the ice cream parlor . . . what you saw in my face . . . was the realization that you would never want me because . . . you know, I’m not a boy. I don’t even know what I am,” I sobbed.

My voice began to quaver as another tear leaked down my cheek.

“Lilli, there’s something you don’t know about me that you definitely want to know,” Mira admitted as she wiped away my tear.

I looked up to see her smiling at me.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“W-what is it?” I sniffled.

She leaned close to whisper, her lips tickling my ear, sending waves of pleasure through my body like jolts of electricity.

“I’m bisexual . . . and I have feelings for you, too. I always have. I’ve always known you were different . . . and that’s what I’ve always loved about you so much.”

I was stunned.

“W-w . . . b-but . . . y-you knew about me?”

“Well, no. I thought you looked familiar when I saw you at the ice cream parlor, but it didn't click then. I didn't know you were a girl until I got to the stop sign after I dropped you off when 'your monthly visitor arrived.'”

We broke into laughter, holding each other tightly, resting our heads against one another.

“But I knew that I loved you no matter what,” she cooed.

“Awww! You're making me cry!” I smiled passionately at her, wiping away a stray tear.

She pulled back just far enough to position our faces inches apart, so that she could look me in the eyes. Our conversation remained in the realm of whispering.

“You are a very special person, Lilli — and I don’t care if you really are a girl.”

“Really?”

“Really,” she nodded, never taking her eyes away from mine. “In fact, you’re even hotter as a girl.”

Her face moved closer to mine and she kissed me deeply. I had always fantasized about kissing Mira. Now I was actually kissing her! A rush of joy filled my heart — along with the massive dose of chemistry that gripped the rest of me - and I felt tears coming again.

“Are those happy tears?”

“Those are deeply happy tears.”

We kissed again.

“Mira, I don’t imagine that a lot of girls would be as open minded as you. In my book, that makes you very special, too.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, you’re welcome,” I swooned before I paused for a moment.

“You know, Mira, I have fantasized about kissing you.”

“I’ve fantasized about kissing you, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

I kissed her again — and something occurred to me.

“You know what? Boys seem to think that kissing is a prelude to sex, but it’s not like that for me. I’ve always wanted to kiss you as an act of love, not as a prelude to sex. Now, don’t misunderstand me. I am quite strongly attracted to you that way. I’m just not so focused on sex like boys seem to be. I guess that’s just more evidence that I’m not a boy.”

“It’s also evidence that you are a girl.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

We kissed again.

“Well, we should probably go downstairs,” Mira sighed, bringing our conversation back to normal volume. “Dinner should be ready soon. First, let me fix your makeup — and mine.”

“Okay. Thanks, Mira!”

“Oh, you’re welcome. That’s what girlfriends are for.”

She referred to herself as my girlfriend! I was in heaven! We stood up and kissed again — twice. Then, after Mira fixed my makeup as promised, we walked downstairs hand in hand.

Chapter 15: Sunday, May 16, 2010

Taryn came down the stairs — finally — but Mom was not with her. I gripped Mira’s hand as I stared at her. I noticed the expression on her face was not one of concern, but of playful annoyance.

“Hey, little sis. I’m sorry it’s taking so long. Mom got a call on her cell right as she walked in the door.”

Taryn rolled her eyes and Christine shot me an I-told-you-so look.

“Cell phones are such evil things!” Taryn joked.

“Yeah. They have a way of screwing up your timing, don’t they?” I added.

“Tell me about it!” Taryn nodded. “Anyway, I haven’t had a chance to talk to her yet and I just wanted to let you know.”

“Thanks, Taryn!”

“No problem, Lilli.” Suddenly, we could hear Mom’s high heels echoing across the kitchen floor. “Oh boy! I’d better go back upstairs before she comes down!” Taryn jumped up with a giggle and hustled back upstairs.

“Oh God!” I leaned against Mira, putting my arms around her and squeezing. “This is killing me!”

“Oh, sweetie, I know this is torture for you, but I’m here — and Christine and Taryn are here, too — and we’ll get you through this, okay?” she cooed.

“Is it any wonder I love you?” I smiled at Mira before laying my head back against her shoulder.

“Lilli?” Mira gasped.

Uh oh!

I pulled back to see that Mira was mightily amazed.

“Y-you used the ‘L’ word!” she stammered.

“Lesbian?” I crinkled my nose in confusion, making Christine giggle into the nearest pillow.

“No!” Mira laughed. “Love.”

“Oh!” I giggled. “Yeah, I did.”

“Do you mean it?”

“What, that I love you?”

“Yes, that!” she softly smacked my arm.

“Yeah, I mean it,” I hazarded, winning a zillion-watt smile from Mira.

“I love you, too, Lilli!”

“Really??”

“Yes! Why do you think I don't let anyone else call me Mira?”

With that, she grabbed me and kissed me deeply, right on my lips, right in front of Christine, who pretended to ram her finger down her throat.

“Barf!! Get a room!” she gibed as she rolled her eyes.

I glanced around the basement.

“Got one. Thanks!”

Mira couldn’t help laughing as I kissed her hard, making Christine cover her face with a pillow.

CONCLUSION COMING SOON!

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Budding Lilli Part 4

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

17,500 < Novella < 40,000 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

This time: How will Mom react? What will happen to Lilli?

BUDDING LILLI - PART 4

Chapter 16: Saturday, May 15, 2010

I had a great time eating in the dining room with Mira and my sisters, bantering and chatting. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, too. I decided to take a break from talking about my gender crisis — or even thinking about it for that matter. I was one of the girls, and that was enough. I wasn’t giving it a second thought.

After we finished dinner, cleaning up while we were at it, we watched a movie in the basement. It was a romantic comedy. For the first time, I didn’t find it hard to watch such a movie. I had always enjoyed them, but I had found it hard to watch them because they reminded me of the love I thought I would never have. Fortunately, for me, I had a girlfriend now. My loneliness was over; I enjoyed the movie more for it.

After the movie, we decided to set things up for a slumber party in the basement. Mira had a sleeping bag and an overnight bag in the trunk of her car, perhaps at Taryn’s suggestion. Once we got ready for bed, we spent the remainder of the night in the basement together. When it got late, we turned the lights out, ending the night by just talking in our sleeping bags — and occasionally giggling — in the dark. Mira and I cuddled while we chatted. Soon, we were asleep — or at least the others were.

I couldn’t sleep because I began thinking about my gender identity. I went over things in my mind, trying to come up with something I might have overlooked or some new way of looking at things.

About an hour after everyone else had dropped off to sleep, a new thought struck me. If I were in the middle of the gender continuum then some things should have felt right about being a boy.

Yes! If I were some kind of mixture of male and female, then I should have identified with things from the masculine world and the feminine world in something resembling equal measure. Yet, that was not the case. There were plenty of things from the feminine world that I identified with but nothing from the masculine world.

I decided to try a brief thought experiment. I asked myself how I would feel if I were living on a planet where all individuals were thoroughly androgynous and the concept of gender was nonexistent. I knew the answer right away. I would feel like a musician on a planet where there was no such thing as music. I would feel surrounded by people who were not like me.

Suddenly, I could no longer believe that I was in the middle of the gender continuum. I knew that I was a girl. It was so clear! I realized that the only times when I felt surrounded by people like me were the times when I was surrounded with girls. I had felt that way, not only at the ice cream parlor, but also at the dinner table. I had also felt authentic and socially functional. With that understood, I could see how phony I had felt as a boy.

I felt tears begin to run down my face. Before long, I needed tissues. I was unzipping my sleeping bag when I felt Mira’s hand on mine.

“Honey, are you crying? What’s the matter?” she whispered.

I moved close to her and whispered into her ear.

“I’m a girl, Mira. There’s no way I’m a boy and it’s not possible that I’m in the middle of the gender continuum. I really am a girl.”

“Wow. That is heavy-duty. Do you want to talk about it?” she asked as she took my hands.

“Oh, God, I don’t know where to start. I’m feeling about a thousand things. I’m very happy to know that I’m a girl — and to be a girl - but I’m very afraid of what that means for me. I mean, if I were in the middle of the gender spectrum, then I might well be able to continue dressing as a guy and keep my gender identity under the radar, but I’m not in the middle. I’m a girl and I need to dress like one. At the same time, if I go to school as a girl, I might get beaten up or something. Then, of course, I have to tell my mother . . . and my sisters,” I quietly sobbed.

“Awww, sweetie, I can’t imagine what you must be going through . . . come here.”

She sat up and hugged me tightly. My tears dampened her nightie before I finished venting my emotions. When the flow of tears ceased, I pulled back far enough to talk.

“I would like to tell my sisters about all of this while we have breakfast tomorrow, if . . . I mean, if breakfast is an appropriate time to talk about it.”

Mira squeezed me before reaching into her nearby purse. She held out a packet of tissues to me, which I gratefully accepted.

“Of course it is. We are here to support you,” she insisted.

I smiled at the girl I loved, wordlessly taking her into my arms and hugging her.

“Let’s try to get some sleep. We’ll need it,” she encouraged.

“Yeah. Come on.”

Mira lay down, playfully motioning for me to lie down next to her. I lay down where she indicated, soon falling asleep in her arms.

Chapter 17: Sunday, May 16, 2010

When I awoke the next morning, she still had one arm around me. For a moment, I lay still, savoring the closeness to Mira, the warmth of her body, the sensation of her arm around me. I looked at her pretty face as she slept, profoundly grateful that I had her in my life.

As I lay there, smiling at Mira, she awakened, her smile mirroring mine. The others were still asleep and our conversation was hushed.

“Good morning, sweetie. Did you sleep okay?”

I nodded.

“Yeah, I managed to drop off to sleep pretty soon after we talked.”

“Good. I’m so glad!”

“Me, too. Did you sleep all right?”

“Yeah, I did,” she nodded.

We looked into each other’s eyes, expressing and absorbing love just by looking at each other. We spent a few minutes basking in the moment.

Our bliss was interrupted by the sound of my stomach gurgling. We stifled a giggle.

“Mira, let’s make breakfast for everyone.”

“That’s a wonderful idea.”

“Let’s go.”

We climbed out of our sleeping bags, put on our robes and headed for the kitchen.

“Lilli, did Christine already know about your gender struggle?”

“That could be. A while back, I told her that I needed to dress as a girl at least sometimes or my well-being could be at stake, but I didn’t know what that meant at the time.”

“Okay. I’m with you,” she nodded.

At that, we heard someone shuffling into the kitchen.

“Mmmm! What’s cooking?” Christine asked sleepily.

“Omelet-style scrambled eggs,” I replied smugly.

“Wow, you two are making us breakfast?”

“Yeah. There are a few things that I want to get out into the open and I want your full attention on me,” I half-joked.

“Works for me!” Christine quipped.

Taryn didn’t take long to join us and we were soon eating at the table. Mira reminded me that I had some things to share.

Christine gave me a knowing look, which Taryn picked up on.

“Okay, what do you two know that Mira and I don’t? Come on, spill it!”

We giggled as I looked back and forth between Mira and Taryn.

“Okay, okay. You know how I used to always find an excuse to be around whenever Christine had a slumber party?”

“Yeah, of course,” Taryn acknowledged. “I also remember that Mom started making you leave the house after a while.”

“Yeah, she did — but not because she knew what we were doing — at least, that I’m aware. Anyway, those slumber parties were more like ‘Dress Up Kyle’ parties.”

We chuckled at the thought.

“And I loved dressed up as a girl, I really did,” I admitted.

“Now we know why.” Mira briefly rubbed my shoulder as Christine and Taryn raised their eyebrows.

“Er, I’ll explain that later,” I stalled. “Anyway, at first, Christine and her friends just threw a dress on over my jeans. I hated that, but only because I looked silly.”

That got a laugh.

“Even then, I liked being with a group of girls and sort of being one of them. So, it eventually progressed from that to wearing the dress without my jeans, to wearing girls’ underwear beneath the dress, to adding makeup and jewelry and finally, adding tights. So, Christine and her friends were completely dressing me up starting about two years ago.

“Anyway, there’s one time in particular that I want to talk about, because it was the time when I admitted to Christine that I liked dressing as a girl. This was, again, about two years ago.”

The only sounds in the room were forks clinking on plates.

“Two years ago, at one of Christine’s slumber parties they dressed me up again, of course.”

I told them about the time Christine and her friends caught me after I had slipped my first pair of tights on while they were on the phone.

“Oh, Lilli, that must have been hard.”

Mira wrapped her arms snugly around me.

“Well, it turned out okay. Jill got over it.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Mira rubbed my shoulder.

“Yeah, I was too. She got to see me dressed fully as a girl at a few more parties, but then, like Taryn said, Mom starting making sure I would be out of the house when Christine had her slumber parties. That started about eighteen months ago.”

“Yeah, and it just wasn’t the same without Lilli around,” Christine insisted. “She was always the highlight of the night!”

I blushed when I heard that.

“Well, then why did your mom start kicking you out, honey?” Mira inquired.

“I don’t know, sweetie, I really don’t.”

Christine hesitated a moment.

“I do,” she confessed.

All eyes were on Christine, just like that.

“She told me that sometimes girls need girls-only time without boys around — which is true - and that we couldn’t really have that with Kyle in the room.”

“Wow. She must be really clueless then,” I joked, winning a round of laughs.

“What do you mean, Lilli?” Taryn queried.

I talked about everything that I had noticed about myself as well as what I had been thinking about to figure myself out. I described what I had pondered in the tub. I could hardly leave out my brainstorming while I lay awake in my sleeping bag the previous night. I revealed what I felt at Christine’s slumber parties and what I felt now.

“Anyway, you all know by now where this is going. Christine and Taryn,” I sighed deeply, “I’m a girl. I told Mira last night after you two fell asleep.”

“Oh my God! It must have been hard to look that one in the face,” Taryn observed.

“Yeah, it was, but it was also good to finally know.”

All three girls hugged me, Mira making sure she had the best position.

“Of course, Mom’s coming home today,” I murmured, “and I should probably tell her.”

“Oh, God, that’s right. Christine, what time did Mom say she’s getting home?”

“About dinner time. Why?”

Taryn looked at me.

“Lilli, do you want to come out to Mom today or no?”

I wasn’t relishing the idea, but I would have to do that sometime. Why not now, while I had both of my supportive sisters and my supportive new girlfriend present?

“Yeah, I guess I do. I might as well get it over with.”

Otherwise, I'll stew over it until I do.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Taryn thought for a moment. “All right. Do you want to be dressed as a boy or as a girl when you tell her?”

I considered the question carefully, weighing the advantages and the problems.

“Well, it didn’t work out very well when I surprised Christine and Jill and Sara by slipping on a pair of Christine’s pantyhose under my dress while they were out of the room. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea to be dressed as a girl when I tell Mom. But . . .” I paused. “Then again, maybe it would help her to see the real me. Besides, all three of you have been supportive, so Mom probably will be as well. I guess I’d rather be dressed as a girl.”

“Okay,” Taryn smiled.

Mira hesitated before contributing, “So then you want to look your best, right?”

“Yeah, I do want to look my best.”

“All right. What do you think about getting your hair done-”

I gasped as Mira explained.

“Not like getting a perm or anything, just a shampoo, a conditioning treatment and a trim so it looks good as a girl or a boy,” she assured me.

I relaxed. That sounded pretty good and didn’t seem to carry any threat of me getting beaten up for it.

“I think I would like that - but isn't that expensive?”

“Well,” Mira smirked, “yes, but I know a way around that.”

“Well, okay, if you're sure,” I accepted.

“Trust me, I'm sure!” Her smirk intensified. “But one more question first.”

“Okay. Shoot.”

“Would you like to have your ears pierced?”

Suddenly, I experienced an acute sense of longing mixed with nerve.

“Yes, I would, but . . .”

“You can get earrings that look masculine. Actually, they have ones that are small silver circles with little beads at the bottom of the circle and you can change the beads. You can get dull gray metal beads that look masculine and when you’re home you can swap in colorful beads that match your outfit and they’ll look feminine.”

That sounded like it could really work!

“Also, Lilli, you can take out your earrings and let the holes close up if you want to or need to. It’s not permanent unless you want it that way,” Mira pointed out. She thought for a moment and added, “If you’re worried about what I will think, well, I can tell you right now that I love you with or without pierced ears. Oh, and if anyone gives you a bad time about your earrings at school then you can just tell them that your girlfriend loves them.”

That made me relax. I smiled at Mira as I deliberated. I decided that Mira and I both loved the idea of piercing my ears.

“Well . . . if you don’t think it would be too much for Mom to absorb the first time she sees me dressed as a girl . . . then I would love to have my ears pierced.”

“That settles it then. Let’s get dressed!” Mira gave me a quick hug before we headed upstairs.

My outfit for the day consisted of a knee-length, black, denim skirt, a black, long-sleeve, cotton top, vivid, teal cardigan, black, nylon tights and casual, black, leather flats. I loved my outfit!

A few minutes later, the girls were dressed and Mira did my makeup for me.

“There you go, beautiful.”

“Thank you, beautiful!”

I kissed her until we needed to fix up our lipstick. Fortunately, my sisters dragged us down the stairs before we could kiss again.

Chapter 18: Sunday, May 16, 2010

As we got into Mira’s car, we began to make plans. Mira drove away, ostensibly with a destination in mind.

“In case you’re wondering where we’re going, I know a good salon that can probably get you in. One of my cousins is a hairdresser there and she’s terrific at it. She has also worked with a few transsexuals as well. You’ll be safe with her, Lilli.”

“I like that idea — if she can fit me in.”

“Let’s give her a call. Could you please dial for me and put it on speakerphone?”

Mira handed me her phone. I liked that Mira didn’t want to use her phone while driving.

“Yeah, no problem. That’s probably a good call so you can drive without crashing us into a tree.”

A few seconds later . . .

“Belle Hair Salon. How can I help you?”

“Hey, cuz! How are ya?”

“Miranda! Hey, it’s great to hear from you. I’m doing pretty well, thanks, how about you?”

“I’m doing great. I just found myself a girlfriend!”

Mira glanced at me with a smile on her face.

“Girlfriend as in a romantic partner?”

“Yes!”

Mira smiled at me again.

“Wow, really? That’s awesome! I’d love to meet her.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that — because we’re on our way over,” Mira giggled.

“Oh, wow, you sure don’t waste any time, girl, do ya?”

“No, I guess not. Anyway, I’m hoping you can do her hair today. Is that possible?”

“Yeah, of course. You know that my Sundays aren’t very busy, so bring her right in!”

“Cool! We’ll see you in a few!”

“Great! I’ll see you soon. Bye, cuz!”

“Bye, cuz!”

Mira smiled at me in the mirror.

“She’s going to like you, Lilli. Don’t worry.”

“Worry? Me?” I smiled back. “Whatever for?”

I scored a round of giggles as Mira turned a hard corner.

Five minutes later, we pulled up in front of the salon. Cousin Belle was blow-drying a client’s hair, but the two of them were the only ones in there.

We walked in the door and Mira greeted her cousin.

“Hi, Belle!”

“Hey, Miranda! Please make yourselves comfortable and I’ll be with you in just a few minutes, okay?”

“No problem!”

We sat down in a waiting area with red lounge chairs on a black and white checkered floor, chatting over some girly magazines. Mira pointed out a few hairdos she wanted to see me sporting in the near future.

After her client paid and left, Belle came to greet us. Since we were the only ones in the salon, she slipped out of professional mode, settling comfortably into cousin-and-friend mode.

“Hey, everyone!”

“Hey! It’s great to see you, Belle!” Mira embraced her cousin. “Anyway, you know Taryn.”

“Hey, Taryn.”

“Hey, Belle!”

“This is Christine, Taryn’s sister–“

“Hey, Christine.”

Christine smiled and waved.

“–and this lovely girl right here,” Mira put her arms around me and leaned her head against mine, “is Lilli, my new girlfriend.”

“Hi, Lilli. Damn, Mira, you really scored!” Belle. marveled.

"Yeah, I did!" Mira smirked.

I blushed and smiled at their antics, my head tilting my head to one side.

"So did I." I murmured, making Mira beam. But it was time to get things started.

“Okay, Belle, I need you to be really nice to Lilli because,” Mira glanced at me and I nodded my approval of her next move, “Lilli is a special girl. She’s one of those girls who got stuck with the wrong body. My poor Lilli.”

Mira embraced me warmly and I decided she couldn't get any better!

Before I could worry about Belle’s reaction to me, she smiled broadly. I actually saw approval in her smile!

“Well, hey, I don’t have any problem with that! In fact, the transgender ones are the most fun!”

“You rock, cuz!”

Miranda hugged her cousin again. I wanted to give her a great big hug as well, but I was feeling very shy.

“Oh, it’s no problem at all!” Belle looked back at me. “So, Lilli, what would you like to have done today?”

I looked at Mira and back at Belle.

“W-well, I might be kind of a challenge because I don’t really know, except I have to go to school as a boy, at least for a while, so my hair has to work that way for now. Well, it has to work as well as it can at this length because I ain’t cuttin’ it. No way, no how.”

We all giggled at that.

“Anyway, I’m also getting my ears pierced today and I don’t want my earrings and my hairdo to look feminine at school — well, actually I do — a lot,” I chuckled nervously, “but it wouldn’t be a good idea for now. I haven’t even come out to my mother yet — oh, speaking of which, I would like to look pretty since I am coming out to her later today!” I glanced at Mira. “I think I’ve covered everything.”

Belle nodded with understanding and Mira stepped in to help me out.

“Yeah, I was just thinking we’d stick to a shampoo, a conditioning treatment and maybe trimming it to one length with a non-permanent inward bob at the bottom.”

“All right. We can definitely do that. Come on over and we’ll get started.”

Belle “prepped” me with proper salon garb, complete with a towel tucked around my neck. She had me sit down at a shampooing station and began my treatment. I found it very relaxing to have my scalp massaged. I immensely enjoyed having wonderful-smelling things worked through my hair. It crossed my mind to hope that I wouldn’t smell that way in the morning — no matter now much I wanted to — since I had to go to school.

Ten minutes later, the shampoo and conditioning treatment were done. Belle used the towel around my neck to absorb some of the water from my hair before seating me out in the main room at her styling station, where she gave my hair the trim it needed.

After an hour of very pleasant massaging, fragrances and styling, my hair looked wonderful.

“Do you like it?”

I beamed like a halogen lamp.

“Yes! I love it! It looks so shiny and fresh and pretty! Thank you so much! Ooh, I can’t wait to see the whole look when I get my ears pierced!”

Belle smirked at me as I looked around at my sisters, my girlfriend and Belle.

“You know, I have to tell you; I feel really pretty and I love how that feels!” I continued gushing.

“Yeah, you’re a girl all right!” Belle quipped.

We giggled at my enthusiasm and her remark.

“Well, I’m glad you’re happy with your new look. There’s a great tattoo parlor a few doors down where you should get your ears pierced. Unfortunately, I’m not equipped to do that here, or I’d be happy to do it.”

“Yeah, I wish we could have that done here, too. But hey, you’ve been great as it is. Thanks so much!”

I embraced Belle, followed immediately by Mira.

“Yeah, Belle, thank you very much!”

“Oh, it was my pleasure!” Belle glanced at me. “You can see why I was telling you that the transgender girls are always the most fun!”

We laughed at Belle's little admission, but I kept wondering about who was paying for my hair.

“Mira, how are we paying for this?”

Mira merely smiled and turned to Belle.

“Did you hear that, Cuz? Lilli wants to know how she's paying for her hair.”

“Well, honey, there's a little-known policy here that transgender girls get their first appointments free of charge.”

“Really?? That's awesome!!”

“Well, it just so happens that I own the place, so . . . I get to do whatever what I want!” Belle flashed a smirk just like Mira's.

I just hugged her. What else could I do?

“Belle, you are awesome!” I gushed, stepping back to put my arm around Mira.

“Why, thank you!”

“Well, good to see you, Cuz, but we've got to get this one home!” Mira explained, embracing me and planting a wonderful kiss on my cheek.

How could I help turning to her and planting one on her mouth?

Mira and Belle waved goodbye one more time. Mira led the way out the door, closing it behind us, and pointing us toward the tattoo parlor.

I had pictured getting my ears pierced at a beauty salon or something. The thought of a tattoo parlor filled my head with images of big, surly, tattoo-covered guys who rode loud motorcycles — the kind who might not be too keen on people like me!

Mira must have picked up on my nerves.

“Are you okay, beautiful?”

I smiled at her compliment. I put my arm around her as I whispered into her ear.

“Are there going to be a bunch of tough guys in there, like motorcycle gangsters or something?”

Mira smirked at me.

“Nah. There’s usually a guy and a girl in there. The guy is maybe five feet eight inches tall and skinny. He’s more funny looking than scary looking.”

We giggled before she continued.

“The girl looks kind of the same. She’s got lots of tattoos and earrings and she looks like she belongs in a tattoo parlor.”

Our laughter attracted the attention of my sisters.

“What are you two laughing about?”

“Oh, Mira was just describing the people who run the tattoo parlor.”

“Yeah, they’re just a little funny looking is all. Don’t worry about it. They’re really nice.”

“I trust you, beautiful,” I smiled at Mira.

She smiled right back.

A few seconds later, we reached the tattoo parlor. It wasn’t how I imagined it. It was nothing remarkable. There was a glass counter with a zillion stud-style earrings in the display area across from another tall display on the opposite wall. The piercing room was in back and that was about it. The man and woman that Mira described were present. I found that Mira had described them accurately.

Ten minutes after I arrived, we walked out of the tattoo parlor with new earrings in my ears and seven pairs of beads — which I insisted on paying for. Fortunately, I had enough in my savings account to cover it without bankrupting myself.

I loved the new beads. Each pair was a different color. They were all translucent except for the solid metal ones. The beads I wore on my earrings were a bold teal to match my sweater. They really did look feminine. I hoped that the gray metal beads would look boyish enough.

“What do you think, sweetie?”

I looked at Mira.

“I love them! They look a lot prettier than I thought they would! I thought the ring parts would look like, well, you know what a pinball looks like. It’s silver colored, but it doesn’t look like silver, right?”

“Right.”

“But these are actually made of silver and they look really pretty!”

Mira smirked at me.

“I thought you’d like them.”

“I do! I love them! Did you get your ears pieced there?”

“Yeah, I sure did!”

“Well, thanks for sharing that part of your history with me.”

“Of course!”

We arrived at Mira’s car and piled in. We chatted merrily along the way about anything but my gender identity. A few minutes later, we were back in Taryn’s room.

“Lilli, do you have any thoughts about what you want to wear when you come out to Mom?”

Christine seemed so genuinely concerned that it touched my heart. I smiled warmly at her.

“Well . . .”

I stood before the mirror, studying my reflection.

“I like what I have on. This outfit is very comfortable, feminine and respectable. It’s casual without being jeans and a t-shirt casual. It’s not that I have a problem with jeans and a t-shirt; it’s just that it’s a very unisex look and I feel that would be a bad idea. I don’t see how I can tell my mother that I am a girl if I seem hesitant to wear a skirt. I don’t think I would be very believable that way and I need her to believe me. I want to look like I’m just another girl. I mean,” I looked at my sisters and my girlfriend, “this is a special occasion — of sorts — and I want to do what a lot of girls would do on a special occasion. I want to look pretty!”

Mira smiled at me.

“Then we won’t change a thing. You’re right. You look comfortable and pretty.”

I smiled back at Mira and kissed her.

“Thanks, sweetie!”

“You’re welcome. Always.”

My smile intensified as I paused for a moment.

“You know what? We’ve got some time until Mom gets home and I would love it if you would show me how to change the beads in my earrings. I should probably know how to do that tomorrow morning.”

“That’s a good thought! I’d be happy to teach you!”

Mira and I continued to exchange smiles as she led me up to my room to show me how my earrings worked, stealing plenty of kisses along the way. The earrings looked like two tiny silver tubes that were bent into circles. One end of each circular tube fit into the other end. The ends were positioned at the bottom of the circles, where the beads would cover them perfectly.

Thus, all I had to do to swap beads was carefully remove one end from the other, slide the old bead off, slide the new bead on, fit one end into the other, and adjust so the ends were at the bottom and the beads covered them. I knew that I would need to practice it, but the procedure was simple and I felt confident that I could master it soon enough.

A glance at my clock told me that it was four o’clock in the afternoon. We left my room to find my sisters so that we could confer about what we would do until Mom arrived home.

After talking it over, we went down to the basement and sat in front of a movie, but nobody was really watching it. I was nervous about coming out to my mother. I had a feeling that the other three girls were vicariously on edge.

My mind kept flipping back and forth. One moment I was convinced that I was right to be dressed as a normal girl. Yet, the next moment, I thought sure that I should change back to boy mode.

Mira knew that I was nervous and she held me close to her. I rested my head on her shoulder; she cuddled her head against mine. I was so grateful to have her in my life in so many ways!

The movie ended just after 6:30pm. Mom called and told us that she would be home in a few minutes. We turned the TV to a sitcom to try to relax. The show got a few good laughs out of us, but I doubt that any one was really watching.

Seven minutes later, we heard my mother call our names.

“Taryn? Kyle? Christine? I’m ho-ome!”

“Hi, Mom!” Taryn responded just to give us a few seconds to breathe.

“Lilli, why don’t you and Mira and Christine stay down here? I will head upstairs and bring Mom down, okay?” Taryn offered.

Mira and I exchanged glances.

“Yeah, that sounds okay.”

“Okay, good.”

“Where is everyone?”

“Down here, Mom!”

Taryn headed up the basement stairs before Mom came down.

I looked at Mira with a nervous expression on my face.

“Well, here goes everything. Wish me luck.”

Mira smiled at me lovingly.

“I wish you all the luck in the world - but I think it’ll be okay.”

I took a deep breath.

“God, I hope so.”

We waited, but Mom and Taryn didn’t come down the stairs for a while. Then Taryn came down and explained that Mom was taking a call on her cell. Taryn went back upstairs and the insufferable wait resumed.

Chapter 19: Sunday, May 16, 2010

Mom’s phone call had taken fifteen excruciating minutes. Taryn came down the stairs first.

“Taryn, what’s going on up there? This is killing me!” I wailed.

“Hang in there, little sis! Mom is on her way down now but, so far, she’s in a good mood.”

“Good! Let’s hope it stays that way!” I remarked. “Did you tell her anything?”

“No. I only said that we wanted to talk with her because something has come up. I mentioned that Christine and Mira and I think it’s something wonderful and we hope she’ll think so, too.”

“Wow. Nice set up, there, Taryn!” Mira joked.

I had just enough time to warmly embrace Mira before I heard footsteps descending the basement stairs. Still nervous about facing my mother, I kept my back to the stairs as long as I could.

“Hello, Miranda. Who’s your friend?” She glanced around the room. “And where’s Kyle?”

“I’m here, Mom.”

I turned around to face my mother. I managed a smile but it was a timid one.

“Kyle? Baby?” Mom began to giggle as she smirked. “I see you’ve been dressed up as a girl again!”

“Well, yes, b-”

“Wait a minute! Are your ears pierced?”

“Well, let m-”

“They are pierced! Will someone please explain what’s going on around here?” Mom demanded, her smile beginning to fade.

Uh oh! Not good! Really not good!

“I’m trying to tell you, Mom.”

I wished she would shut up for ten seconds so I could get a word in!

“I-I’m sorry. Well, let’s be comfortable. Everyone please have a seat,” Mom invited, before noticing that she was the only one standing.

“Oh. Good,” she chuckled.

With a sheepish look on her face, she squeezed onto the overstuffed couch. I found myself sitting between her and Mira.

“Kyle, honey, tell me everything. Please,” Mom requested as she put one arm around me.

“Okay. Here goes!” I cast a cautious glance at Mira, squeezing her hard and receiving a like reply. “On Friday night . . .”

I told my mother the whole story of our weekend. I spoke of Christine’s dares, my newfound romance with Mira, my discovery about my gender identity and how I made that discovery.

“I’m a girl, Mom. I really am. That’s why I always found an excuse to be around when Christine had her slumber parties — at least until you started making me leave the house.”

For a few moments, the room was so silent that I could hear Mira breathing. Waiting for my mother to speak was intolerable!

“Oh, honey . . . come here, baby.”

My mother hugged me for several moments.

“First, I love you no matter what, okay?”

I smiled at my Mom, feeling somewhat relaxed.

“Okay.”

“All right. Second, I have suspected as much for a while now.”

I looked at my mother in total surprise.

“Wha-? You knew? B-but how?”

“I knew that Christine and her friends were dressing you up, honey. Mothers always peek in on their children’s slumber parties — at least, the good ones do.”

“So you saw me dressed as a girl all of those times?”

Mom briefly rolled her eyes.

“Well, probably not all of them.”

We shared a giggle.

“Anyway, whenever Christine and her friends dressed you up, I could see that you were trying your best to hide how much you were enjoying it. After a while, I began to suspect that something more was going on than met the eye and that you might even be a girl.”

Suddenly, I made a connection in my head.

“And you made me leave the house during Christine’s parties because you thought that Christine or one of her friends might figure that out. Then Christine must have asked why you were making me leave and you told her that she and her friends needed girls-only time.”

“Yes, exactly,” Mom nodded, glancing at Christine.

“And Christine couldn’t tell you that I had already admitted to loving and even needing to be dressed as a girl because, well, that’s for me to tell you.”

“That’s right,” Christine confirmed.

“You had already admitted that?” Mom asked in surprise.

“Yes. Six months before you started making me leave the house, I kind of came out to Christine, Jill and Sara. They had already dressed me up when they went to talk to Jen on the phone and I was alone in Christine’s room, so while they were gone, I slipped on a pair of Christine’s tights and some different shoes and, well, they caught me. It didn’t go over so well.”

“Oh no. What happened? Wait, did you already know that you’re a girl?”

“No, I only knew that I needed to dress as a girl — and I really had no idea what that meant. I just thought I had a feminine side that I needed to express because my well-being is at stake – wait a minute!”

Suddenly, I remembered having the funny feeling that I had said something vital while comparing dressing as a boy to walking around in cold temperatures with freezing feet - and when mentioning that I had some relief because I was dressing as a girl from time to time. I now understood where that feeling had come from. Deep down, I did know that I was a girl!

“Okay, um, actually I did know, but not consciously. I had a funny feeling that I was missing something but I didn’t understand what until now. Anyway, what happened was that Jill had some trouble with the idea at first, and on the night I told those three girls, Jill felt that she should go home. But, she did get over it and before long, we were back to . . . well back to the status quo.”

We shared a giggle.

“But then you started making me leave the house,” I shrugged.

“Oooh, I feel kind of guilty now.”

“Eh, don’t. I mean, hell, even I didn’t know what was truly going on until now, so I don’t expect you to have known.”

Mom smiled at me.

“I suppose that’s a good point.”

We fell silent, but I had something on my mind. I glanced at Mira, somehow knowing that her face would give me strength, and spoke my mind.

“Mom, um . . . I-I would really like to be a girl all of the time now. I mean, I know that I can’t be a girl at school, at least for a while, but . . . whenever I’m not in school, I want to be a girl all of the time. Okay? I really need to.”

Mom thought for a moment, probably wondering how the hell she should rule on that one.

“Mom, you have to let her! She needs to be a girl! You must have noticed the way she’s been all moody for a while,” Christine pointed out. “It’s been driving me crazy and I didn’t know what to do about it until I saw Taryn’s lavender dress while we were cleaning out her closet on Friday. That was when the idea of daring Lilli to dress up as a girl again popped into my head,” she smiled smugly. “I had to do something!”

“Is that true? Is that why you pushed so hard for me to dress up again?” I asked, touched that she’d reached out.

“Yes! You were being a little-”

“Careful, young lady!” Mom warned.

Christine glanced at her before shooting me a good-natured “hairy eyeball”.

“Well, I’m glad you did that. I needed it more than you’ll ever know,” I acknowledged. I hugged Christine before looking at Mom. “She’s right, Mom. I really do need to be a girl. Please let me. Please?” I begged her, giving her my best puppy look.

“Hey! That’s my puppy look!” Christine blurted.

“Don’t you mean my puppy look?” Taryn interjected, giving Christine her best Spock eyebrow.

“See? You stole it from Taryn and now I’m stealing it from you!” I zinged Christine. She gave me a playful dirty look before dropping it.

“All right, you three, that’s enough!” Mom sighed. “I have noticed your behavior of late, Lilli. I just didn’t put it together that it was coming from being miserable trying to be a guy.” The room was silent as she deliberated. “That said, I think we’d better . . .”

My heart sank as she trailed off.

“I think we’d better give this a try,” she finished, making me gasp with joy.

“Thank you so much, Mom! Thank you!”

I gave her a big hug that lasted several seconds. When I released her, Mira grabbed me and embraced me.

“See?” she whispered in my ear. “I knew it would be okay.”

“Yeah, you sure did,” I whispered back.

I kissed her hard, right there in front of everyone — and that was it.

Epilogue

For the remainder of the year, every moment outside of school was spent happily as a girl. School itself was something to be tolerated. I got some razzing about my earrings, but the worst I received was being half-heartedly shoved against the lockers a few times. That kept life bearable, but I still couldn’t be happy or comfortable trying to be a guy.

During the summer of 2010, I talked with a therapist regularly. She decided that, since school hours were the only times I wasn’t full-time already, I should begin living as a girl full-time. Fortunately for me, I was happier than I was scared.

That fall, I returned to school as a girl. People looked at me funny all year — and I still got shoved against the lockers a few times — but that was still as bad as it got.

My school had less than four hundred students. This meant that everyone knew I was transitioning. At first, I had felt this would preclude any chance of anonymity, but ultimately, it proved advantageous. I had many friends who stuck up for me. At a smaller school, such friends have a broader influence.

Ultimately, my life was turning out for the better, and I felt lucky for it.

* * * * *

College provided all the anonymity I could want. I was not living in stealth mode, as I informed close friends about me for the sake of openness and honesty, but neither did I advertise my true nature. I had a great deal of unwanted male attention, but I found a way to handle that. I purchased a silver necklace with a lesbian symbol for a pendant. It worked like a magic amulet.

College went smoothly and when we graduated from the same school the same year, Mira and I got married. We had to remain in Massachusetts, where our college was located, to make that happen, but it was well worth it. We had fallen in love with Massachusetts anyway.

We eventually adopted two kids, one of whom is a special girl like me, and . . . well . . . we lived happily ever after.

THE END!

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Christina's Party

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Other Keywords:

Girl's Party

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Fate wore a pony tail and a red dress. We were both attending a large group ballroom dancing lesson along with perhaps two hundred other kids our age, all of whom attended schools in town. Our mid-lesson break had just begun when the lovely girl headed my way.
Christina was a very pretty girl with pretty blue eyes and shoulder length, light brown hair. She wore a red, short-sleeve, cotton dress that hung just below her knees and had a sparse floral pattern on it. She wore suntan nylons, and black, leather flats — and she was headed my way.

“Hi, Kelly. How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks, and you?”
“I’m doing pretty well myself, thanks.”
“That’s good!”

“Yeah, so what are you doing Friday night?”
“I don’t know yet. Why?”
“I’m throwing a party and I’d love it if you could come.”
“Sure, I can come. Sounds like fun!”
“Great! Come by about eight and we’ll party until around midnight. The address is 3456 Mariner Ave.”
“Okay, cool!”
“Yeah! I’ll see you then. Bye!”
“Bye, Christina! Thanks for inviting me!”
“You’re welcome!”

It felt good to have been invited to a girl’s party. I was a bit shy, but I was glad to be going. I knew that I would have a good time, and I looked forward to seeing Christina again.

* * * * *

I stood in front of Christina’s house at ten minutes after eight. The wrought-iron gate to her sloping driveway was easy to find, and I could see the party at the bottom end. I walked through the open gate and down the driveway toward the party. Christina’s house had a two-car garage and both garage doors were wide open. The cars that would normally occupy the garage were parked on the street, and there were tables and chairs in the garage and the adjacent driveway. There was great music being played, mostly dance music.

I found Christina within a minute or two and greeted her, complimenting her on her house and the arrangement of the party. She smiled at me, invited me to make myself comfortable, and promised to come and chat soon. I walked around the party, mingling here and there, greeting a few of my classmates who were in attendance. I chatted with a few girls as well in my usual nervous style.

Half an hour later, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Christina standing there.

“Hi, Christina!”
“Hi, Kelly!” She leaned close to my ear so that I could hear her over the music. “Do you want to come upstairs and hang out with me and a couple of my friends?”
“Yeah, sure!”
“Come on!” She smiled at me and led the way. We walked inside the garage and through a door in the left-hand wall. When we arrived at the top of the stairs, we met up with Christina’s friends, who were waiting for us.
“Hi, Kathy. Hi, Sarah.”
“Hey, Kelly! Coming to hang out with the girls?”
“Yeah, I am!”
“Cool. Let’s go!”

Christina led the way to her bedroom. She and I sat down on her bed and Sarah and Kathy used a couple of chairs in the room. One was the chair from Christina’s desk and the other was a yellow bean bag. I felt nervous being around three pretty girls at once — especially when alone with them — but I was glad to be included.

I looked around Christina’s room as we chatted. It was painted a nice lavender color, and everything was coordinated. Her furniture was white, and her bed had white sheets and a lavender bedspread. There were a couple of stuffed animals on her bed, resting against her pillow, and she had various posters on her walls. I saw a poster of a Van Gogh painting depicting a vase full of flowers, a poster of Madonna, and a poster of Mel Gibson, among other things. Christina had a lovely room and it felt nice in there, except for the loud music playing in the driveway.

Sarah got up to use the bathroom and Kathy went with her. They closed the door behind them, leaving Christina and I alone. There was something about the way they closed the door that made me wonder what was going on.

“Kelly, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, go ahead.”
“Okay.” Christina readjusted her position before she continued. “Well, I think you’re a total cutie… and I love your shoulder-length hair.” She paused for dramatic effect. “I would really love to dress you up as a girl. May I? Please? I think you would look really pretty, if you don’t mind my saying so.”

My eyebrows went up. I didn’t really know what to say. I was surprised that I hadn’t immediately declined. I felt very nervous about the idea of dressing as a girl, but I had always admired girls’ clothes. Every time I saw a pretty outfit on a girl I wanted to wear it, too. I had never dressed as a girl before, but I knew that I had always wanted to. I was perfectly tantalized with Christina’s proposition.

“Now? Here?”

“Please? I would like to have Kathy and Sarah help me dress you up, but nobody else has to know. This would just be between us, I swear! I would really love to dress you up.”

I swallowed hard, but I was a sucker for a beautiful, sweet girl like Christina and I gave in to my temptation.

“Okay. You can dress me up as a girl, as long as you don’t make me look slutty or silly —- and as long as we don’t get caught.”

Christina looked thrilled. She seemed positively giddy.

“I promise you’ll look pretty! This will be so much fun.” She paused as she remembered something. “Oh, and just so you know, I have a plan in place to avoid getting caught. I added a fake name to the guest list so that in the worst case scenario, you can pretend to be a girl named Lisa, my friend from summer camp.”

I stiffened slightly. Would I really have to pretend to be a girl? I hadn’t been prepared for that.

“That’s only the worst case scenario, though, and I can’t imagine it will come to that. We’re just going to hang out in here at first and the rest is totally up to you. If you want to leave the room, great! If not, no problem!”
“Okay.”

I tried to smile. Christina probably knew I was nervous.

“Great! You’re really awesome to do this.”

Before she could finish, Kathy and Sarah returned to the bedroom and closed the door.

“We’re back. Did anything interesting happen while we were gone?”

Sarah and Kathy obviously knew about this idea, but Christina did say she would like their help, and I knew what that meant.

“Guess what? Kelly wants us to dress him up!”

Sarah and Kathy cheered while I looked over at Christina. She saw my face turn aghast and put one hand on my arm.

“I’m just kidding Kelly. They know this is my idea.”
“Well, okay. I’ll still let you dress me up.”
“Thanks so much, Kelly. It will be fun and we will keep this a secret —- we promise!”
“Okay.”

Christina got up and scampered to her closet. She pulled out a purple, long-sleeved, cotton top and a black, knee-length, velveteen skirt. She placed those items on the bed and got out a pair of black, leather flats. Next, she went to her dresser and opened the top drawer. She selected a purple, satin bra, a matching pair of panties -- and a pair of sheer, off-white tights.

As I watched her assemble the outfit on the bed, I wondered what I was getting myself into. I had not realized that Christina had bras, panties and tights in mind. I figured they would throw on a dress over my trousers, braid my hair and maybe add a dab of lipstick for good measure, but I was way off. They were going to dress me up as though I were a girl! I remembered what Christina had said about adding a fictitious friend to the guest list and suddenly, it was clear that her backup plan would only work if I looked like a real girl!

I really hoped that nobody at the party would find out about this stunt. If anyone knew, everyone would know —- and in short order. I worried about Christina’s parents —- or my own -- finding out that I had dressed up entirely in girls’ clothing. I wondered what would happen.

As the stereo downstairs began playing Aerosmith’s Dude Looks Like a Lady, I realized that I was doing nothing to stop these girls from turning me into one. I stared at the pretty female clothing on the bed, and felt unreal knowing that I was about to dress up in it.

“I think this outfit will look really cute on you, Kelly!”

I felt very nervous, but I reminded myself that Christina had a backup plan which we were unlikely to need anyway. I felt confident that this incident would remain secret.

“That is a very pretty outfit.”
“Do you really like it, Kelly?”
“Yes, it’s… it’s very pretty.”
“You are going to look adorable, Kelly!”
“Absolutely,” Sarah couldn’t help but chime in.

I tried to smile. The girls could barely contain their excitement. They really were thrilled to be dressing a boy as a girl.

“Okay, let’s make you pretty!”

Half an hour later, I was totally dressed as a girl from head to foot. I was wearing the satin bra and panties and I was wearing the white tights. All of my nails were painted red, and my face was painted with lipstick, lip gloss, mascara and eyeliner. I was wearing a gold necklace with a heart shaped pendant on it as well as clip-on, gold hoop earrings — that looked quite real -- and two rings. One was a “friendship” ring that looked like two hands holding a heart. The other was a simple gold band with five amethysts set in a row. My hair was styled very girlishly, curled and held back with a couple of barrettes.

“All right, Kelly. You are now a girl.”
“I am? How do I look?”
“You look awesome! Come here, I’ll show you.”

Christina took me by the hand and gently walked me over to the full-length mirror on the closet door. When I saw my reflection, my jaw hit the floor. It took me a few seconds to speak.

“What do you think, Kelly?”

Sarah and Kathy left the room to get us some snacks. Christina went to the bed and sat down while I stared at my reflection.

“Oh, my God! Is that really me?” I paused for a few seconds. “I’m looking at a girl in the mirror! This is incredible!”

I turned this way and that, riveted by my female reflection. Christina couldn’t help giggling. Suddenly, an unanticipated question arose in her mind. She knew it would be best to ask me privately, and her friends would be eager to return. If she wanted to ask, she had to do it right away.

“How do you feel as a girl? Do you like it?”

I opened my mouth and, for several seconds, nothing came out.

“Uh… oh, my God, I can’t get over this!” I glanced at the door and looked Christina in the eyes. “Do you promise to keep this conversation secret?”

“Yes, of course. I give you my word it’s between you and me. It won’t leave this room.”

I glanced at the door again.

“Okay, good.”

I looked back at my reflection, wondering how to explain my answer to her question. I spoke almost in a whisper, in a way that revealed something deeper and more profound than simple excitement.

“I love this, Christina.” I began walking back and forth across the room, watching myself in the mirror. “I feel so…” I searched for the right word, but nothing came. “I had no idea I could feel like this.”

Christina’s face took on a surprised look. She had been hoping I would enjoy dressing as a girl enough to let her dress me up from time to time —- and she was certainly getting her wish —- but I was responding to feminine exploration in ways that she had never imagined.

“What are you feeling, Kelly?”

I paused to assemble my thoughts, still pacing the room and observing myself in the mirror.

“I feel really good. I feel really comfortable. I feel like…” I paused, looking at my fingernails as though the answer were written on them. “I feel like I make sense.” I looked back at Christina. “I’ve never felt like this before.”

“Wow.” Christina paused for a moment. “Would you like me to call you Lisa?”

I glanced over at her, my eyebrows raised, a smile slowly spreading across my face.

“I would love that.”
“Okay, Lisa. Then that’s what I’ll call you.”

I stared at myself in the mirror for a few moments.

“I just can’t get over how wonderful this feels.” As I let the wonderful feeling sink in, I began to feel concerned that it was so strong. “What do you think it means that dressing as a girl makes me feel like this?”
“I’m not sure. But, I’m more than happy to help you look into it, if you would like me to. For what it’s worth, this is totally okay with me. I think you’re great just the way you are.”

I looked over at her and smiled again.

“You’re pretty great yourself —- and I would love your help.” I hurried over to Christina and gave her a great big girly hug. “Thank you so much, Christina. That’s so nice to hear.”

I sat down next to her on the bed.

“You’re welcome, sweetie. What are friends for?”

As Christina spoke, we heard Sarah and Kathy coming back. The stereo downstairs began playing Hey Now, Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper. The door opened and Sarah and Kathy walked in with diet sodas and a bag of pretzels. They closed the door behind them and placed the snacks on the desk.

“Thanks for getting the snacks, you two.”
“You’re welcome, Kelly.”

I looked at them and smiled.

“Please, call me Lisa.”

Sarah and Kathy sensed that something unforeseen was happening and they exchanged interested looks.

“Okay, Lisa. We’re happy to do that.”
“Yeah. Look at you smiling! I guess you’re really enjoying being dressed as a girl, huh?”

I shyly leaned my head to one side and glanced down at the tights on my legs. I rolled my eyes upward to look at the girls.

“Yes. I really am enjoying it.” I straightened my head and turned to Sarah and Kathy.
“Can I trust you two with a secret?”
“Yes, definitely. I would never tell a secret.”
“Neither would I.”

I looked at Christina.

“I can vouch for both of them, Lisa.”

I looked back at Kathy and Sarah. We all began noshing on the pretzels.

“Okay, I trust you.” I paused for a moment and took a deep breath. “Christina and I were talking while you were downstairs…”

* * * * *

“Oh, my goodness, Lisa. You never knew until now?”
“Not really, no. There has always been a part of me that loves girls’ clothes and always wants to try on everything I see on a girl. I have slipped on my mother’s pantyhose a bunch of times, and I’ve been doing that since I was three, but I have never fully dressed as a girl before tonight. There were never any girls’ clothes around my house and so I never really had a way to explore this. I've never really felt that I fit in with boys, but with girls, well, it's a whole different story.”
“You know, you really seem natural as a girl.”
“I do? Really?”
“Yeah, you do. When you first arrived at the party, I thought you seemed rather awkward. You seemed really nice, too, don’t get me wrong. You just seemed shy and maybe a bit lost. Now you seem really natural.”
“Wow. I guess that should surprise me, but… somehow it doesn’t.”
“This is really amazing.”
“Yeah, it is.”

We heard a knock at the door and before we could react, Christina’s mother opened it. I didn’t have to glance at Christina to know that her heart was sinking. I was certain that her intent was to keep this exploration of mine strictly between the girls and that she hadn’t wanted me to be embarrassed or hurt in any way. However, we were now executing Christina’s backup plan, and Christina had given her assurance it wouldn’t turn out like this. I made a mental note to reassure her that it wasn’t her fault when I got the chance.

“Oh, hi Mom! What’s up?”
“Hi, girls! There’s a phone call for Kathy.”
“Oh, thank you, Mrs. Blue!”

Kathy left the room to take the call.

“Hello there, have I met you?”
“Hi, Mrs. Blue. I’m Lisa.”
“Lisa’s my friend from summer camp, Mom.”
“Oh, you're the Lisa from summer camp!”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Aha! Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Lisa. It’s nice to put a face with your name.”
“Nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Blue!”
“Well, I’m going to let you girls get back to your fun, but before I leave, I wanted to tell you a couple more things. Ashley is looking for Sarah, and–“
“Thanks, Ms. Blue!” Sarah left the room.
“You’re welcome, dear,” Mrs. Blue called after her before returning her attention to us. “Anyway, Christina, I think some of your guests are wondering what’s happened to you, so you might want to go back downstairs.”
“Oh, good call, Mom. Thanks for the re-mind!”
“That’s what mothers are for. See you girls later!”
“See you later!”

Christina’s mother left the room and Christina realized that she was going to have to go downstairs. She felt like everything was turning to shit and she felt awful. She put her arms around me.

“Lisa, I am so sorry. I really thought we could avoid all of this. Are you embarrassed?”

I put my arms around her.

“Actually, no. The first thing I felt was… alarm, I guess. But, when your mother showed no sign of catching on, I relaxed. I honestly didn’t mind.” I paused as I studied Christina’s eyes. “Actually, I had been wondering what it would be like… to be dressed as a girl in public, and… part of me wanted to be seen. Besides, it’s not your fault your mother opens the door without waiting for an answer; you don’t have to feel bad.”
“Thanks, Lisa. Well, like I said, it’s up to you what we do from here. If you want to, you can change back,” Christina shrugged. When I hesitated to speak, she intimated that she had another possibility in mind. “Or…”
“Or what?”
“Well, if you feel up to it, Lisa, you could come downstairs with me just as you are.”

I felt that mixture of nerve and temptation coming on again. I released Christina and went back to the mirror to look myself over. I saw a girl who didn’t look like Kelly. I turned to face Christina, and took a deep breath.

“Okay… I’m coming downstairs with you.”

Christina smiled at me.

“Excellent! We’ll have fun fooling everyone. Remember we’re not telling anyone.”

“I remember.”
“Okay. Are you ready?”

I took another deep breath.

“I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be. Let’s go downstairs.”

* * * * *

We stopped by the kitchen to deposit the remains of our snack in the trash can and we ran into Sarah and Ashley. Sarah was amused to see Lisa tagging along with Christina.

“Hi, Lisa. Glad you could make it!”
“Yeah, me too!”

Sarah gave me a hug and introduced me to Ashley. I found myself pleased to be making another girl friend. We chatted for a few minutes, until Christina decided to continue making her rounds. Christina and I walked down to the garage and joined the rest of the party. Christina introduced me to many of her friends, including some mutual friends. I had to pretend that I’d never met them. One of them remarked that I looked like Kelly and I informed him that Kelly was my cousin. After an hour of socializing, I let Christina know that I needed to take a break. We decided to go back upstairs to Christina’s room for a few minutes. Sarah caught up with us and decided to come along.

* * * * *

We got to the top of the stairs and walked into Christina’s room, where Christina and I plopped down on the bed again. Sarah dragged the bean bag chair close to us. As she flopped down in the bean bag, she stopped and looked around the room with a puzzled look on her face.

“Are you okay, Sarah?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just… where are Kelly’s clothes?”
“I left them hanging in my closet.”

Christina went over to her closet door and threw it open to show Sarah.

“See? They’re right in–” Her eyes went wide. “Where the fuck are they?”
“Oh, shit!”

Christina and I looked at each other. All of my clothes were missing. I didn’t know whether to be amused or scared. I went with amused.

“Well, hang on; they’ve got to be here somewhere.”

Christina began searching her room, and Sarah and I joined in her efforts. She looked under her bed, under her comforter, in her dresser drawers and everywhere else she could think of.

“They’re not here. What in the hell is going on?”
“I have no idea.”

Sarah was as perplexed as the rest of us.

“Lisa, I’m really sorry. I will find your clothes, I promise,” Christina began to apologize. I smiled at her and put one hand on her arm.
“It’s okay, Christina. This is clearly not your fault.”

She smiled back at me.

“Thanks, Lisa.”
“Yeah, Christina, it’s not your fault… and I have an idea who’s behind this. Where’s Kathy?”

Sarah looked out the window toward the party.

“Why?”
“Well, I sure as hell didn’t take Lisa’s clothes, and only the four of us know about Lisa. Kathy’s our only suspect. She probably finished her phone call, came back up here to join us, found the room empty, and played a prank on Lisa.”
“I bet you’re right. Where is that bitch?”

Christina stomped out of the room and we followed her as we broke out in a fit of giggling. I was a bit nervous about being stuck as Lisa, but I had not seen a single indication that anyone other than Christina, Sarah and Kathy knew what was going on. I was enjoying my experience. As long as I got my clothes back in time to change before my parents arrived to pick me up, I was happy to have an excuse to be a girl a while longer.

As we arrived at the garage in search of Kathy, Ashley approached us.

“Hey, you guys. Where’s Kelly?”

I fielded the question.

“Oh, he took off to another party, the jerk.”

The girls laughed at me. Fortunately, Ashley had no idea what was going on.

“Damn! I was going to ask him to dance!” We all began giggling at poor Ashley. “What??”

She looked around at us wondering what on earth we were snickering about. Again, I fielded the question.

“We’ll tell you later — when we’re sure it’s blown over.”

Ashley looked at me as though a tree were growing out of my head. She raised her eyebrows as she replied, “Er… right.”

Christina was still determined to find my clothes.

“Hey, Ashley, have you seen Kathy?”
“Yeah, she just left. Why?”

For several seconds, Christina showed no reaction whatsoever. Then she turned ever so slowly to look at Sarah and me.

“That bitch.”

Sarah and I burst out laughing.

“Oh, my God, what did she do?”
“That’s… what I’m about to find out.”

Christina stalked back inside, with Sarah and I close behind. Luckily, Ashley was wigged out enough that she didn’t want to know what was going on. Christina marched upstairs to the kitchen, went straight to the phone, and punched it into speakerphone mode. Then she dialed Ashley’s phone number. Approximately three seconds later, fireworks began. Christina started in before Kathy could speak.

“Kathy, what the hell did you do?”
“I took Kelly’s clothes, duh! Have fun finding them!”

Christina’s eyes widened.

“What? Oh, no you don’t! Where are they?”
“You’re just going to have to find them!”
“I repeat: Where the fuck are they?”
“So sorry, no speaka eengleesh!”

Again, Christina turned slowly to look at us. She decided to put Kathy through the proverbial wringer.

“Fine, bitch! Let’s see, it’s Steve you have a crush on, right?”

Now Kathy sounded nervous.

“Uh… yeah, what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to tell him you have a crush on someone else —- like Ashley!”
“No! Don’t you fucking dare!”
“So sorry, no speaka eengleesh!”

Christina flashed an evil grin and we could hear Kathy shriek as Christina hung up on her.

“Don’t worry; I’m not really going to tell him that. I’m just making Kathy squirm for a while.”

We broke into laughter as the phone rang, knowing exactly who was calling. Christina punched the speakerphone button again.

“Why, Kathy, is that you?”
“Christina, please, please, please listen before you tell Steve I’m a lesbian. Please?”

Christina folded her arms.

“This had better be good.”
“Look, I was only kidding about playing a prank on Lisa. I did go back into Christina’s room and find the room empty, but I left the clothes alone. Then, before I could get halfway back to the door, I saw Christina’s mother walk by, chatting on the phone with someone. I wondered what would happen if she found Lisa’s clothes. Then I realized that, when Lisa turned back into Kelly, someone might pick up on the timing and figure everything out.”
“Go on.” Christina believed Kathy and so did I.
“My parents are out tonight and my sister and I have the house to ourselves. I figured it would be safer and easier for Lisa to change over here. That way, if things got dicey over there all Lisa would have to do is leave. I have to admit, I wondered if Lisa might actually like having an excuse to be a girl for a while. If guess I figured that if I took your clothes then you would have that excuse. I knew it might freak you out when you discovered your clothes were missing, but I was hoping that would only be momentary and then you would have fun. I swear to God, I was coming straight back to let you know about the change of plans when you called. I’m sorry, Lisa, I guess I crossed the line. I live right across the street, and you’re welcome to come over and change whenever you’re ready. I have your clothes safely locked in my closet, so you can take your time.”

Christina was softening and I was relieved. Yet, I was somewhat disappointed that we had found my clothes so quickly. I had been hoping to remain a girl for a while. I resolved that I would. We still had time before my parents would be arriving.

“Thanks for telling me, Kathy. I’ll probably change in an hour or so. Is that okay?”

Christina looked at me with interest — as did Sarah.

“Sure, that’s great. My parents won’t be home until tomorrow morning, actually, so take your time. Like I said, your clothes are safely locked away.”
“All right. Thanks, Kathy!”
“You’re welcome. Christina, are we still okay?”
“Yeah, we’re okay. I didn’t say anything to Steve, by the way. I’m not that much of a bitch.”
“Thank God! I don’t think you’re a bitch either, but you had me going for a while.”
“All right then, Kathy. We’ll see you soon.”
“Okay, bye!”
“Bye!”

After another round of munchies, we rejoined the party in the garage. I found my self socializing more than I ever had as a boy. Everything about being a girl felt natural for me.

At one point, one of the boys popped a balloon right behind me and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“Oh, my God!”
“I’m sorry. Did I scare you?”
“Yes, you scared the shit out of me. I’m okay, though.”
“Sorry about that!”
“It’s all right.”

The balloon-popping jerk went away as Christina and Sarah came closer to check on me. They had been startled as well.

“Are you okay, Lisa?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. How embarrassing, though!”
“Awww! It’s okay. He popped that balloon right behind your head. I probably would have screamed had it been me.”
“I would have, too, if I didn’t think it would give me away.” We shared a giggle.

I was amazed how natural and wonderful it felt for me to share my feelings with the girls — and to admit to the jerk that he had scared the shit out of me. As a boy I would have had to pretend I hadn’t been scared and all of that bullshit.

I had immensely enjoyed my time as a girl, and I had lived more than I could have imagined was possible. However, when the rumor began floating that a game of “spin the bottle” might be afoot, I decided it was time for Lisa to make her graceful exit. I wanted to kiss girls, not boys! I whispered to Christina and Sarah that it was time, and Lisa said a few goodbyes before we excused ourselves.

When we got to the top of Christina’s driveway, we ran into Kathy, who was fuming mad.

“Kathy? What’s the matter?”
“My fucking sister locked me out of the house!”
“What did she do that for?”
“Yeah, what’s going on?”
“Her boyfriend made a surprise appearance and she threw me out. Literally.”
“Oh shit! Lisa’s clothes!”
“Yeah, I’m sorry, Lisa. Your clothes are still in my closet. I was downstairs when she dragged me out the front door and locked it behind me. You should have seen her. She was literally dragging me out while ordering a pizza on the phone. I’m dead serious.”

Christina got a wry look on her face as an idea occurred to her.

“Your sister and her boyfriend order pizza a lot, don’t they?”
“Yeah, they do, it’s like their thing. They met at a pizza parlor so now they eat pizza. Some people have a song. They have a pizza. I hope they both get really fat!”

We erupted in laughter, including Kathy, but Christina wasn’t done formulating her plan.

“Does your sister look through your peephole before she opens your door?”
“No. She’s a complete idiot about that. I mean, a rapist could be at the door but she just throws it open like a fucking ditz.”
“Good. That’s how we’re getting back into your house.”
“Huh?”

Kathy wasn’t getting it. For a moment, I wondered if being a fucking ditz ran in her family.

“It’s simple. We wait for the pizza to arrive and we stand at the front door with the delivery person. Then we push our way in.”
“Ah, you are devious and clever, Christina — but you just gave me an even better idea.”

All eyes turned to me.

“Do tell, Lisa!”
“I say we intercept the pizza before it reaches the front door. We pay the delivery person, and wait until said delivery person leaves. Then we ring the doorbell and tell those assholes that we’re holding the pizza hostage until sis pays us and lets us in.”
“Oh, that’s way better! Then, if my sister refuses to let us in we can sit on the front steps and start eating her pizza!”

We laughed at the image of us gorging on the pizza with Kathy’s livid sister watching. We headed back into Christina’s house to get enough money for the pizza and waited outside.

Half an hour later, we saw a car coming our way that had a pizza delivery sign attached to the roof. We walked across the street to Kathy’s house and waited for the car to pull up. The driver got out, and we paid for the pizza, complete with a tip. We waited for the driver to leave and walked quietly up to the front door. Kathy rang the bell and waited for her sister to answer.

“Who is it?”
“Guido’s Pizza!”
“Ha! Nice try, Kath! Fuck off.”
“Okay, fine, but this pizza smells delicious. Let’s take it back to your party, Christina!”
“Okay, cool! Bye, Janie!”

Now Janie ripped the door open.

“Get back here with my fucking pizza!”
“If you want your pizza then you’ll have to let us in and pay us since we paid the delivery guy.”

If looks could kill, Kathy would have dropped dead on the porch.

“Fine, let me get some money.”

Janie stormed upstairs to her room and Kathy couldn’t resist mocking her behind her back.

“Let’s review, shall we? There could be a sleazy, scummy, sexually predatory pizza delivery guy standing here and my sister leaves the door wide open while she goes upstairs to get the money she forgot. What’s wrong with that picture? Better yet, what’s wrong with her?”

We all burst into laughter. We couldn’t help ourselves. Kathy hadn’t had enough. She was pissed at her sister for treating her so poorly. She remembered that Janie and her boyfriend always had pepper on their pizza.

“Hold this for a second, please!”

She handed the pizza to Christina and snuck out the front door. She grabbed a small handful of dirt, crept back inside and opened the pizza box, grumbling under her breath.

“If you’re going to treat me like dirt then you can eat dirt, bitch!”

She took a good pinch of dirt and carefully sprinkled it all over the pizza. It blended right in with the pepper. Smiling at her revenge, Kathy closed the pizza box and went back out front to dispose of the remaining dirt. She came back inside and returned to her place seconds before Janie came down the stairs.

“Just tell me how much it was and get upstairs, got it?”
“No problem. It was thirty-five dollars, including the tip.”
“You always were an over-tipper. Here!”

Janie slapped the money into Kathy’s hand.

“Thank you!”

Kathy did not react at all. She simply smiled, took the money and handed it to Christina.

“Come on, girls.”
“Yeah, let’s get Lisa’s clothes. I’d better get back to my own party soon.”
“Okay.”

We walked into Kathy’s room and she went to her closet. Kathy took her key out of her pocket, put it in the lock and turned the key. She opened the door and brought out the bag containing Kelly’s clothes.

“Here you are, Lisa. You can change back whenever you’re ready.”
“Thanks, Kathy.” I looked at her clock to check the time. “Let’s see, my parents will be here in half an hour. I guess I should probably change.”

I hesitated for a few seconds while I stared at the clock, severely tempted to stay a girl for another twenty-nine minutes. Meanwhile, the girls looked at each other knowingly. Christina approached me and put one hand on my arm.

“Lisa, if you ever need to… you know… be yourself and have some fun, you can always call me. I’ll always be happy to help.”
“Me, too, Lisa. Mi wardrobe es su wardrobe!”

We all laughed and I was so touched that I couldn’t help giving them both a big girly hug.

“You two are so cool! Well, I guess I have to change now.”

I said it with more than a touch of nostalgia and the girls picked right up on it. Christina wasn’t done reaching out to me.

“I’ll tell you what, Lisa. Why don’t you come back tomorrow and we’ll have some fun?”
“Really?” My face lit up.
“Yeah, I mean it!”
“Kathy, are you in?”

She had been great to me and I wanted her to share in the fun.

“You bet your ass I’m in — besides, I’ll probably be locked out again!”
“Great! Tomorrow, then!” I glanced at Kathy’s clock again. “Oh, shit, I have to change!”

We all giggled as I dashed into Kathy’s bathroom and closed the door. I unzipped the duffle bag and pulled out my pants… and my shirt and my underwear and even my shoes. My clothes were super glued together! My jaw dropped as I gasped at my predicament. Kathy, Sarah and Christina were so nice I couldn’t imagine it was them. Janie immediately leapt into my head.

“That bitch!” I swore loudly.

“What’s the matter, Lisa?”

I opened the door and walked out, holding up my glued mess of clothing.

“This is the matter. I know you girls would never do this.” I looked at the door. “Kathy, I’m thinking it was--”
“Janie! That bitch!”
“Oh, shit, Lisa! I’m so sorry. Your parents are going to be here and you have no boys’ clothes to wear.”
“Not that I really want them.”

As I dropped my clothes on the floor, I looked at Christina, took both of her hands in mine, and looked her in the eyes.

“Christina, you have nothing to be sorry for. You have done nothing wrong. I certainly could have refused to be dressed up, but I didn’t. I fully agreed to it! Hell, I wanted to be dressed up! I meant everything I said up there in your room. I’m so comfortable as Lisa. I love the way I feel when I’m Lisa. I make sense as Lisa. Janie is the villain here, not you. If not for her, I could simply change back and there would be no problem at all!”
“Yeah, Christina. Janie’s the queen bitch, not you,” Kathy defended.
“Okay. Thanks for making me feel better, you two!”

She hugged Kathy and then me. I couldn’t help but notice that she kept her arms around me —- and I was in no rush to let go of her.

“You’re welcome, Christina. You know what else?”
“No, what?”
“I’m going to tell my parents that there was a game of Truth or Dare, I accepted a Dare, and some asshole from some other school played the prank of destroying my clothes so that I’d be stuck —- and by the way, I’m going right back to the same house in the morning.”

My little joke seemed to help. Christina looked cautiously relieved.

“Will they buy it?”

She was one wise girl. I looked at my nyloned legs for a moment.

“I suppose I’m not 100% sure, but I think so.”
“Okay, I’ll have to trust you, Lisa!”

We smiled at each other, sharing a steady gaze.

“Well, Lisa, you probably should get going.”
“Yeah, I have to go.”
“I’ll tell you what. I need to pee but when I’m done I’ll wait in front of my house with you.”
“Thanks, Christina. I’d like that.”
“You’re welcome.”

Christina released me from her hug, went into the bathroom, and closed it behind her.

“Hey, Lisa. Come here a sec.”

Kathy motioned me to come close. I leaned in to hear what she had to say.

“I can’t help but notice that Christina put the friendship ring on your finger with the heart facing toward you. You know what that means, right?”

I glanced down at the ring on my finger and looked back up at Kathy, astonishment in my face.

“Does it mean that…?”
“Yup, it means you’re taken!”

I smiled as my mouth opened in a soft gasp.

“Oh, wow. I mean, I thought I might be getting a vibe, but I figured it was just me. I guess not!”
“It ain’t just you, honey. Trust me!”
“Oh, this is so wonderful! I really like her!”
“I think the feeling’s mutual, but listen, before she comes out do you want a piece of advice?”
“Sure. Please!”

Kathy whispered in my ear.

“Kiss her goodnight!”
“Really?”

I felt my face light up. Christina began turning the bathroom doorknob and Kathy snuck in a “thumbs up” before the door opened.

“Okay, I’m ready. Goodnight, Kathy.”

Christina gave her a hug.

“Yeah, goodnight, Kathy. This was fun! We’ll see you tomorrow!”

I gave her a quick hug and Christina and I turned to leave.

“Good luck with your parents, Lisa! I guess you can have this.”

She handed me the duffle bag with the glued ball of clothes in it.

“Thanks, Kath! It’ll probably be okay.”

Christina and I left Kathy’s house and walked hand in hand back to hers.

* * * * *

Christina and I sat down on her front step to wait for my ride. I looked down at the friendship ring on my hand, turning it back and forth around my finger. I rolled my eyes up to look at Christina and smiled at her. She seemed excited that I had noticed the ring, even if it had taken me a while.

“I love this ring, Christina.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah. Especially the way the heart is facing towards me. Is that just… random, or…?”

Our eye contact was steady.

“It’s not random. I knew what I was doing.”

She moved her face within inches of mine.
Want a piece of advice? Yeah, sure! Kiss her goodnight!

“Well, I don’t care what happens to me tonight. It couldn’t be more worth it!”

As she smiled, I gave her a long, full kiss on the lips. Without breaking the kiss, she put her arms around me and I gladly reciprocated. When we finally pulled away, we sat there with our arms around each other, surrounded by the love in the air. We stayed that way until a tiny pair of headlights pierced the distant darkness and the sound of an engine approached.

“That’s probably my ride.”
“I hate to see you go.”
“I hate to go.”

Christina glanced at the approaching car and took advantage of the last few seconds of the night.

“Lisa, about the friendship ring…”
“Yeah?”
“I want you to keep it.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Oh, Christina! What a beautiful gesture. Thank you! I will treasure it!”

I kissed her again.

“My pleasure -- in more ways than one.”

I smiled at her.

“Shall I walk you to the car?”
“Please do.”

We stood up as my mother pulled up in her car. She seemed to look right past me, so I waved.

“Hi, Mom!”

She turned on the interior light and rolled down the window.

“Kelly, is that you?”

My mother was moderately shocked when she saw my new look.

“Yes, Mom. It’s me.”

She turned to Christina as she remembered her manners.

“Hi there, Christina. Nice to see you.”
“Hi.”
“Kelly, what on earth…?”

Christina put a hand to her mouth as she giggled.

“You know what Truth or Dare is, right, Mom?”
“Yeah, sure. What happened, did someone hide your clothes?”
“Worse.”

I opened the duffel bag and pulled out the glued mess of clothes that I no long wanted anyway.

“Oh, my God, will you look at that!”

My mother laughed at the antics I’d been exposed to. She had no idea of the real story, but I resolved to tell her all about it -- just as soon as she got out from behind the wheel.

“Well, at least you seem like you had fun!”
“You have no idea, Mom. Oh, by the way,” I put my arm around Christina and she did the same, “I would like you to meet my new girlfriend.”
“Whoa, you had a great night!” We shared a laugh. “Seriously, though, I’m thrilled to hear about this.”
“I’m glad that you feel that way, because I’m coming back tomorrow.”
“No kidding! Well done, Kelly!”
“Thanks, Mom!”
“You’re very welcome, but, would you mind getting in the car now, please? I’m freezing!”
“Yeah, I guess we have to go. Goodnight, Christina.”

I gave her another deep kiss before I climbed into the car.

“Goodnight, Lisa.”
“Lisa??”

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Devyn's Favor

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Preteen or Intermediate

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Devyn’s Favor

What a night that was! Devyn was thirteen years old and living in a sparsely inhabited suburban area with his parents and his sister. He had four good friends who lived in the area. Kieran and Caitlin, fraternal twin sisters, lived a short distance down the street from him. Madeline lived fifty yards further down the street at the corner of a road that went up a steep hill for a few hundred yards. Tina lived at the top of that same steep road on the same side of the street as Madeline. Tina could actually see Madeline's bedroom window -- and vice versa. They were too far away to really see each other, but sometimes they would sit at their windows while they chatted on their cell phones.

It was Tina's birthday and she invited the four of them over to her house for a sleepover party. Tina was fond of getting dressed up and each year she used her birthday party -- among other things -- as an excuse to get dressed up. This party would be no different -- or would it?

After he got himself dressed, Devyn walked over to Kieran’s and Caitlin’s house and picked them up. Kieran and Caitlin were wearing pretty cotton dresses, white tights and Mary Janes. Nice, but still comfortable enough to have fun all night without worrying about damaging fancy clothes. Devyn was wearing some khaki trousers, boat shoes and a dark green collared t-shirt. He felt like yawning at the boredom of his outfit compared to those beautiful dresses.

The three of them went to Madeline's house next. Madeline was wearing a bathrobe when they arrived since she was still choosing between two beautiful dresses. One was white with a lavender pattern on it and the other was a nice pale yellow color with a wine colored floral pattern on it. They were both short sleeved, made of cotton and fell to just below the knee.

"What do you think?” Madeline sought feedback from her entourage. “Which dress looks better?"

"I think they're both very pretty. What’s the birthday girl wearing? You probably don’t want to match."

"No, we don’t want to match. I think she’s wearing white floral, now that I think of it. I'd better go with the yellow. Gee, thanks, Caitlin!"

Caitlin shrugged and smiled.

"What are friends for?"

Madeline smiled at her friends as she asked her next question.

“Which tights do you think look better? White or champagne?”

“Go with the champagne. They look perfect with that dress.”

“I think I will. Thanks, Kieran! I don’t know what I would do without my fashion advisers,” quipped Madeline, who had them all giggling.

Madeline changed in the bathroom and came out in the yellow, floral dress, champagne tights, and wine colored Mary Janes that matched the floral pattern in her dress.

She brushed her hair, braided it and put on simple make up. Then she was done. On their way out of her room, Kieran and Caitlin noticed that Madeline had left her dresser drawer open with the pair of white tights hanging out of it. She had also left her closet door open, and a pair of her shoes was sitting out on the floor instead of its usual place in the closet. They found it odd that Madeline the "neat freak" would leave her room less than tidy, but they dismissed it since they were running late, and on Tina’s birthday, no less.

Madeline picked up a large suitcase, as they headed out of her room. She explained that her parents had left half an hour earlier on business and she would be spending the weekend with Tina. When they got to the front door, Madeline let out a gasp.

“What is it, Maddy?” Kieran was fond of using Madeline's nickname and it was a matter of time before all four of Maddy’s friends began to use it as well.

“I forgot my house keys, damn it! Hold on one sec!”

She went back upstairs to her room for a minute and returned dangling her set of house keys from one finger.

“I’ve got them! Let’s go!”

Maddy locked her front door behind them and they walked up the hill, pleasantly chatting about all the things that were so important to teenagers. After the five minute walk, they were finally at Tina's. Maddy rang the bell and Tina answered the door almost immediately.

"Happy Birthday, Tina!"

"Thanks everyone! Come on in!"

She hugged each of them in turn, showed them where to put their things and cleared a space on the coffee table for the gifts they had brought her.

"Oh, damn! I forgot my cell phone. I lost it earlier today and I still haven't found it, but I promised my parents I'd bring it. I'll have to go home and look for it."

Kieran rolled her eyes as she chuckled at Maddy.

“Honestly, Maddy! Screw your head on right, will you, please?”

“Oh, suck it!”

Maddy was never at a loss for a snappy comeback.

“Hey, you two! Save it for your own birthdays! This one's mine." Tina grinned. "Don't worry, Maddy. We'll wait on the festivities until you get back."

"Thanks, Tina! May I use your bathroom before I go?"

“Need you ask?”

“I know.” They giggled at each other. “Thanks!”

Maddy left to use the bathroom while the rest of them chatted in the living room. While she was gone, Caitlin’s cell phone rang. It was Maddy’s friend Crystal calling. She had a computer problem and was trying to find Maddy, who was great with computers -- but Maddy wasn’t answering her phone. Caitlin explained that Maddy had lost her phone and that was why she wasn’t picking up. Then Crystal said she had to answer her front door and asked Caitlin to hold the phone for a second.

While Crystal checked her front door, Maddy poked her head in the living room.

“Okay, everyone, I’m heading back to find my cell phone. I shouldn’t be gone more than five or ten minutes.”

Maddy turned to leave.

“Hey, Maddy? Crystal’s on the phone with a computer problem. You're good with computers, right?"

“Yes, I am! I'll talk to her. Thanks, Caitlin.”

After talking with Crystal for a few moments, Maddy realized she'd be on the phone a while and asked Crystal to hold on. She took her house keys out of her bag and handed them to Devyn.

“Crystal, can you hold on for a sec, please? Thanks!”

Maddy turned to Devyn.

“Devyn, would you be a sweetheart and go to my house to look for my cell phone? If you don't find it in a few minutes, call up here and I'll come and help you look."

“Okay, sure!”

“Thank you, sweetie!”

“Sorry about that, Crystal...”

Maddy gave Devyn a wave and Devyn left for Maddy's house. It was getting dark outside, but he found his way to Maddy's front door, unlocked it and went in. He went up to her room to start looking around. When he opened her bedroom door, he saw her white floral dress carefully laid on her bed. She had left a pair of white, patent leather flats on the floor beneath the dress. On the bed next to the dress were a white bra, a white pair of panties, a white pair of tights and a note addressed to Devyn. What the hell was going on? Devyn wanted badly to put on those pretty clothes, but he made himself read the note first.

Hey Devyn!

I see you’ve found the note I left for you. I just wanted to give you a chance to be the girl you truly are, even if it’s only for a while. So, don’t be shy; go right ahead and get dressed up! Have fun being yourself and don’t worry -- we’ll always be really close no matter what!

Love you!
Maddy

Devyn was at a loss. How did she know?

* * * * *

Devyn's older sister Anna had dressed him up as a girl many times, sometimes with one or more of her most trusted friends present. Anna would dress him up with everything that a biological girl would wear. At first, Anna and her friends had had plenty of giggles at Devyn’s expense, but the sight of Devyn dressed as a pretty girl soon lost its novelty and the giggling ceased. Devyn was very pleased that they had stopped laughing because he felt more real as a girl when they didn’t treat it like a joke. Once that joking phase had passed, Anna and her friends treated Devyn like one of the girls whenever he was dressed up. Anna and her friends included Devyn in everything they did, from makeovers to experimenting with hairdos to girl talk. Devyn loved every minute of it. He felt as comfortable being a girl as a bird felt comfortable flying through the air. Devyn loved the times he spent as a girl with Anna and her friends.

One Friday night, his parents were out on a date and Anna had her two best friends over. Anna asked Devyn if they could dress him up again. Devyn had been hoping that she would and he jumped at the chance. Shortly before his parents arrived home that night, Anna gave Devyn the usual notice that he’d better turn back into a boy. Devyn had always felt disappointed at having to give up being a girl and each time the disappointment was worse than the last.

On that pivotal Friday night, he felt so upset about giving up being a girl that he couldn’t hold it in any longer. When he went back into Anna’s bathroom to change, he closed the door and silently cried for a few minutes. Devyn knew that he was transgendered, that he really was a girl on every emotional and mental level. He let his emotions vent as much as he dared, but he knew that Anna would check on him if he didn’t come out of the bathroom soon, and he began to pull himself together. He gently wiped the tears from his eyes, flushed the tissues down the toilet, and emerged from the bathroom dressed as a boy.

* * * * *

Devyn sat on Maddy’s bed, astounded by the contents of her letter. Devyn had never told a soul that he was transgendered. He hadn’t even told Anna. He wondered how Madeline had found out. Had his shoulder length hair been a giveaway? Was there something about his behavior? Anna had promised that she would never tell anyone other than her most trusted friends that Devyn loved being a girl. Devyn knew she would never do that. He wondered if one of Anna’s friends had told Maddy — not that it mattered for the moment. Anna’s friends were not present. Nor was Maddy, for that matter. Devyn would ask her how she knew — just as soon as he could garner up the nerve to admit that she was right about him — but it would not be that night, of this Devyn felt sure.

He looked at her pretty dress and he resolved to embrace this opportunity to be his true self while he looked for Maddy’s cellphone. Devyn reached for the underwear and froze as his brain began to connect dots. Maddy had forgotten about her cellphone until they reached Tina’s house. Yet, she had left a note addressed to him — complete with a full outfit of girl clothing -- on her bed. How did she know he was coming back to her house? Devyn supposed that Maddy had been planning to make up some excuse for Devyn to return to her house alone. Then, when Maddy forgot about her lost cellphone she had a perfect excuse.

Devyn decided that he didn’t care how she knew he’d be there. His desire to dress up as a girl was as strong as ever. He looked up the hill at Tina's house and it seemed far away. He couldn't see anything. Tina didn't have binoculars or a telescope, so they wouldn't be able to see him.

He brought everything into Maddy’s bathroom and dressed himself in Maddy's pretty clothes. His heart was pounding. As he stood there in Maddy's bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror, he smiled at the pretty girl looking back. He took his hair out of the ponytail and used Maddy's brush to primp it. Then he went into the bedroom to see what hair accessories he might borrow from Maddy. He found a lavender headband that matched his dress. He gently slipped on the headband and returned to the bathroom to see how it looked. When he looked in the mirror, he loved what he saw. For a moment, he stood there smiling at his reflection, basking in his girly joy.

After a few minutes, he came out of the bathroom to look for Maddy's cell phone. He looked around her bedroom, but he couldn't find it. He grabbed his cellphone in case Maddy called and went downstairs to look in the family room, nervous but excited about walking around her house dressed as a girl. He looked for her phone in the family room and didn't see it in there either. He paused for a moment, thinking of where to look next.

* * * * *

Maddy finally got off the phone with Crystal. She walked back into the living room where the other girls were chatting.

"Is Devyn back?"

"No. I wonder what's taking him so long."

"Yeah, beats me!”

“Let's find out! Come on."

Tina brought the girls upstairs to her room where they saw a brand new telescope. When Maddy saw it she felt the sensation of an icicle piercing her heart. This was supposed to be a private time for Devyn. If he was dressed as a girl, they would all know.

"My parents gave me this telescope for my birthday, and they gave it to me last night so I could look at the lunar eclipse we had."

"Excellent! Let's spy on Devyn!"

Maddy winced. Kieran was clearly eager to get started. The other girls began snickering as Tina pointed the telescope at Maddy’s house. Maddy had to know whether Devyn was dressed up before anyone else looked through Tina’s telescope.

"Tina, may I look first since I know where in my house to look?" Maddy put a big, innocent smile on her face.

“Okay. Sure.”

Maddy put a phony devilish smile on her face.

“Cool! Caitlin, may I borrow your cell phone so I can talk to him while I spy on him?”

She hated to talk like that, considering Devyn’s current circumstances, but it was that or let on that she didn’t want the girls to spy on him.

“Sure. Here you go!”

Caitlin handed Maddy her cell phone and Maddy called Devyn. She heard him answer on the second ring.

“Is that you, Maddy?”

"Hey, Devyn. Are you having any luck finding my cell?"

"Nope, I've looked in your room and I'm in the family room now. I don't see it anywhere. Should I check the kitchen next?"

As Maddy pointed the telescope at her family room and focused it, she saw him... dressed as a girl... wearing her dress, tights, shoes and headband. Maddy's heart rate sped up.

"Yeah, look in the kitchen."

"Okay."

Maddy put Caitlin’s phone on mute so that Devyn would not hear their conversation. She had to keep the other girls from looking through the telescope or Devyn’s secret would be out. That was not part of Maddy’s plan! She needed to think.

The other girls, however...

“Maddy do you see him?”

Maddy tried to look excited.

“Yeah, there he is, all right, looking for my cell phone.”

Tina jumped up, excited to spy on Devyn.

“Let the birthday girl look!”

Maddy had to do something! But what?

“O-okay, Tina, yeah of course,” she stammered. “Um, h—hey, can you see planets with this thing? Devyn’s kind of boring right now. Let’s look at something more exciting.”

Maddy giggled nervously as she stepped aside for Tina.

“Yeah, it’s great for planets. I was looking at Jupiter after the eclipse was over and you can even see its moons. Here, I’ll show you.”

She pointed the telescope at the sky and tried to find Jupiter. Maddy breathed a sigh of relief. Tina knew right where Jupiter would be found — behind a cloud that was blocking their view.

“Oop, we can’t see it right now. It’s behind a cloud. We’ll try again later–“

Maddy winced.

“W-well what about Saturn? I’ve always wanted to see the rings of Saturn through a telescope.”

Maddy desperately wanted Tina to point the telescope at anything other than Devyn.

“Hmm, Saturn is an excellent sight… but wait, Saturn rises early in the morning this time of year. It’s on other side of planet Earth right now.”

Maddy wouldn’t give up.

“How about the moon?”

“That’s on the other side of the house. Oh well. Let’s have a peek at Devyn.”

"Oh, no," thought Maddy.

Tina had a ghoulish grin on her face. Maddy had to figure out how to signal Devyn to change out of that dress and fast! She heard Devyn’s voice in her ear.

“It’s not here, Maddy. Where do I look next?”

Maddy was still on the phone with Devyn! Maybe she could tell him that Tina got a telescope for her birthday and he really should check it out when he got back. That way, he would know to change his clothes or hide until they were done with it. Maddy didn’t want to take that route since the other girls would realize something was up, but the situation had turned decidedly desperate. She turned off the mute and spoke quickly.

“Hey Devyn, listen--”

Tina squealed and Maddy hit the mute button again.

“Oh my God,” Tina exclaimed.

“Shit, it’s too late! Damn it,” Maddy thought.

Tina had found Devyn walking around the kitchen, dressed as a girl, looking for Maddy's phone while holding his own phone to his ear. Tina watched as he glanced up at her house while still on hold, completely unaware she could see him. She threw her head back and laughed out loud.

"What, Tina?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Devyn’s dressed up like a girl!"

"What??"

The other girls laughed out loud. Maddy tried to think. If she asked them not to look at him then they would know Devyn had a secret. The same thing would happen if she directed him into her bathroom and out of view of the telescope. Maddy wanted to at least try to come up with an alternative to Devyn's secret coming out before she said anything about it.

"He's completely dressed in Maddy’s clothes. He's even wearing tights!"

This, Kieran had to see! She popped up out of her seat.

"Can I see? Please?"
“Yeah, sure. Line up, everyone!”

Kieran peered at Devyn through Tina’s telescope.

"He is dressed like a girl! He's looking right at me and he doesn't know I can see him!"

The girls all laughed. Caitlin took her turn and giggled madly at the sight.

“He looks adorable!”

“Doesn’t he?”

Maddy felt beyond horrible. She wanted to go into Tina’s bathroom and cry, but she had no time for that. She had to figure out what to do.

“Maddy? Are you there?”

Devyn’s voice came over the cellphone. Maddy wondered if she could make it look like Devyn was being forced into it. Either way, she absolutely had to go down there and talk to him. She just needed an excuse.

“Maddy, you have to see this. Come here!”

Maddy knew what to do. She put her phony devilish grin back on her face.

“Excellent. Let me see!”

She turned off the mute and spoke to Devyn.

“Hi, I’m sorry about that. Listen, let me put you on the line with Caitlin while I go to the bathroom, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Here Caitlin.” Maddy handed her the cellphone. “Tell him to look in the living room, please.”

“Okay.”

Maddy needed to ensure that Devyn would stay in the living room for a few minutes. If he knew about the telescope he might stop going where they told him.

“Don’t tell Devyn we’re looking at him and ruin it.”

“You got it.”

Caitlin told Devyn to check the living room. Maddy looked through the telescope, feeling terribly guilty about spying on Devyn, but she needed to stall for time while she figured out the details of Plan B. She pretended to admire the view for a few seconds and then she put Plan B into action.

"Good. He’s cooperating.”

“Cooperating with what?”

Maddy put a fake smug look on her face — and she hoped it would hide her tumultuous emotions.

“I tricked him into dressing as a girl when he went back to look for my cellphone. I left him that outfit and a note on my bed telling him that I would be coming down there to help him look and if he wasn’t dressed as a girl when I got there then I would tell the three of you his deepest darkest secret.”

“Really? What’s his secret?”

“Well, he cooperated, so I’m not going to tell you.”

“Awwwwww!”

“Shut it, Kieran! Okay, everyone, we're going to give Devyn a nice surprise! I’m not done with him yet!"

The girls dissolved into laughter. Maddy hoped like hell her plan would work.

“What are you going to do to him next? Tell the birthday girl,” Tina insisted.

“Well, um, I’m figuring it out as I go, so I don’t know yet.”

Tina mock pouted.

“But here’s what we’ll do next. Caitlin, stay on the phone with him after I leave. If he asks, tell him I'm on the phone with Crystal again. Tina, may I borrow your cell phone and bring it with me?”

“Sure!” Tina giddily thrust out her hand with her cellphone in it.

“Thank you, Tina! Get ready to pick up your landline when I get near my house. Oh, and Tina, stay at the telescope because I'll need you to be my eyes. Meanwhile, I'm going to sneak up to my room and wait for him, so watch and wait for my signals.”

“Got it!”

Maddy left to return to her house. She wiped a couple of tears from her eyes as she walked down the hill. She had to talk to Devyn without the girls seeing it through Tina’s telescope. She thought about what parts of her house would be out of view from the telescope and she thought of the basement. There were two ways to get down there. There was one set of stairs by the front door near the living room and another in back, off the kitchen. The telescope would be on Devyn at the front stairs and Maddy would sneak down the back stairs, safely out of sight. When she was still about thirty feet away from her house, Maddy stood behind a tree near the back of her house and called Tina's landline. Tina picked up immediately.

"Hi. What do I do?"

"Is he still in the living room?"
"Yes."

"Okay, tell him that I said he should check the basement and let me know when he goes downstairs. Make sure that you stay on him!"

"Okay, hang on.”

In the background, Maddy heard Tina conveying her message to Caitlin.

“Okay, he's going toward the stairs...”

Maddy darted for the back door. She quietly let herself in, and closed and locked the back door.

“Okay, he’s going down the stairs.”

“Good. Let me think what to do next.”

“Okay."

Maddy put her phone on mute and snuck down the back stairs to the basement.

When Devyn arrived at the bottom of the front basement stairs, he saw Maddy coming down the back ones. Maddy frantically placed her extended pointer finger across her lips, hurried over to Devyn and showed him the tiny screen on Tina’s phone where it indicated that the mute was activated. Devyn understood that Maddy wanted him to mute his phone as well.

“Hey, Caitlin, um, I’m looking through some drawers down here, so I need to put the phone down for a second. Don’t go anywhere!”

“Okay!”

Devyn put his phone on mute, as Maddy requested and Maddy began to cry.

“Maddy, what’s the matter? What’s happened?”

Through her tears, Maddy managed to tell him what the girls were doing in Tina’s room.

“Tina got a telescope for her birthday. I’m so sorry, Devyn! I didn’t know! I tried to keep them from pointing it at you but I couldn’t stop them and they all took turns looking at you.”

Devyn was embarrassed, but he knew that this had not been what Maddy had intended for him. He put his arms around her and held her snugly for a few seconds.

“It’s okay, Maddy. You were right about me, you know.”

They pulled apart.

“Really?”

“Yes, Maddy. I am a girl. I'm transgendered or however you want to say it. It’s all the same. I’m a girl and I love being dressed this way. Now you know. Besides, if I don’t want to live in the closet the rest of my life then I’d better get used to being seen as a girl anyway.”

Devyn smiled at Maddy and she cheered up a bit.

“Maddy? Where are you?”

Tina’s voice came through the cellphone.

“Maddy, I’ll tell you all about me later, but what do we do right now?”

Maddy thought quickly.

“Well, do you want to change back now?”

Devyn’s face deflated as he looked at his hands and began to speak.

“Well, okay…”

“You know what? You don’t have to. There’s a way you can come to Tina’s party as a girl if you want to. I mean, if you feel ready for that.”

Devyn’s face brightened up.

“Really? Well…” He deliberated for about half a second. “Let’s do this! What do you have in mind?”

“Are you up for a little acting?”

“Sure!”

“Okay, then just go where Caitlin tells you and when you get to my room try to look surprised and follow my lead from there, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Maddy? Are you there??”

“All right, Devyn, I have to talk to her. Be quiet for a moment.”

“You got it.”

Maddy turned off the mute on her phone.

“Tina, I’m here. I was finding a hiding place so that we can direct him upstairs without seeing me. Is he still in the basement?”

Maddy rolled her eyes.

“Yes.”

“Okay. Did he find it?”

Maddy gestured for Devyn to turn off his mute and he dutifully did so.

“I’ll ask.” Maddy heard Tina convey the message to Tina and she barely heard Caitlin repeat it to Devyn. A few seconds later, Maddy heard Tina’s voice again.

“No dice, Maddy. No phone either.”

Tina and Maddy giggled.

“Okay. Tell him to check the master bedroom.”

Caitlin’s voice came through his phone.

“Devyn, Maddy wants you to look in the master bedroom.”

“Okay. I’m on my way.”

Devyn waved and smiled at Maddy as he headed up the front stairs to put their plan in motion.

"Tina, are you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Okay. Let me know when he gets there.”

“Okay.”

Maddy tiptoed up the back stairs and went halfway up to the second floor where she stopped and waited, safely out of sight of the telescope.

“Okay, he’s in the master bedroom. Where are you, Maddy?”

“Stay on him, Tina. I’m going to my room.”

“Okay.”

Maddy tip-toed the rest of the way up the stairs and snuck into her bedroom.

“I'm in my room now. I have his clothes!"

She dragged a smaller suitcase out from under her bed. Then she opened it and laid it on top of her bed. She picked up all of his clothes, including his underwear, and put them in the open suitcase. She sat down on the bed and spoke again into her cell phone.

"Okay, tell him I said to check my room one more time. Hang on.”

She walked over to her closet and got out a flashlight. Then she got back on the phone.

“Okay, I’m going to show you where my room is by shining a flashlight at you. Here I go. Do you see it?”

Maddy turned on the flashlight and waved it in the direction of Tina's window.

“Yes, I see it."

"Okay, keep an eye on Devyn until he gets here.”

"Will do!"

“Cool. Now put your landline on speakerphone. I'm going to do the same so be quiet over there."

"Okay, we will!"

Maddy put the cellphone on speakerphone and put it on the bed behind her back. She heard Devyn’s footsteps as he came back to her room. When he turned the corner to go to Maddy’s room, he saw Maddy sitting on her bed. The telescope was to Maddy’s right — hundreds of feet away -- and she winked her left eye so that only Devyn could see it. He began acting his part and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Hi, Devyn. Please forgive the surprise."

"But you were..."

"Yeah, I told them to tell you I was on the phone with Crystal again, but I was really on my way here. Please don't hate me."

Now he walked into her room, pretending to be unaware that the telescope was trained on him.

"I don't hate you, Maddy. I don't think anything could make me hate you.”

Maddy smiled at him as Devyn continued.

“Wow. I am really embarrassed. I guess I should take this stuff off now. Hey, why are my clothes in your suitcase?"

"Because you won't be needing them!"

Maddy closed the suitcase and spun the 4-digit number dials, locking the hard-shell suitcase shut. Devyn made his jaw drop. At that moment, he heard laughter coming from somewhere behind Maddy.

"What's going on, Maddy?" He heard more laughter. Maddy reached behind her and picked up Tina's cell phone. Devyn instantly knew it was on speakerphone. "Oh dear God, Maddy, please tell me what’s going on!"

“The girls know everything, Devyn. I told them about the blackmail note. I also told them that I’m not done with you yet. You see, Tina wants an all-girl party this year, so you’re just going to have to come as a girl.”

Tina’s eyebrows raised themselves as she listened to the conversation. Devyn had to fight not to look happy about his “predicament” as Maddy continued.

“Oh, by the way, you should probably know that the girls can see us from Tina's house. Tina's parents got her a telescope for her birthday and gave it to her last night so she could see the lunar eclipse. Now they're looking at us -- well, mostly at you. Like I said, please don't hate us."

Devyn made his jaw drop again. He looked up at Tina's house and gave Maddy's accomplices a nervous smile, a shrug, and a wave.

“Hi, girls!”

He heard them howl with laughter again. Continuing his act, he covered his hands with his face and turned back to Maddy.

"I don't hate any of you. Actually I think you’re pretty clever!"

“It was mostly Maddy, so you can thank her for everything!”

"Yes, Tina’s right. It was all my idea. The girls were wondering what was taking you so long and that was when Tina showed us her new telescope. Anyway, it's really okay, Devyn. They're all okay with having you join us as a girl this evening. They’re not wigged out or anything. They just think it's very funny."

"Oh, good, that makes me feel a lot better. I guess it is funny!”

He decided he’d better ask one little thing to keep up appearances.

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to let me have my clothes back?”

"Yes, I’m sure.” Maddy placed the suitcase under the bed. “I promise to give you your clothes back tomorrow morning after the party. Okay, everyone, we'll be back in a flash!"

Maddy hung up Tina's phone. Devyn hung his up as well. He pretended to be speechless about his predicament in case the telescope was still focused on him — which it was.

“Do you think they’re still peeping?”

“Oh, I’m sure they're still taking turns looking at you.”

Maddy smiled.

“You should put on a different dress if you’re going to be a girl at Tina’s party. You don’t want to match the birthday girl! Come here.”

They went over to her closet. She pulled out another cotton dress. This one was a solid pink color and had three-quarter sleeves. It also had a matching sweater. While Devyn went to the bathroom to switch dresses and put on the sweater, Maddy pulled out a duffle bag from under her bed and began to pack it with some additional items. A minute or two later, Devyn emerged from the bathroom.

"Maddy, please don't let them be mean. I am a little bit nervous about this."

"I promise I won't let them do anything cruel. You'll only be wearing things that I would wear myself. Okay?"

"Okay."

"You're cool."

Now Devyn was smiling at her.

“Maddy?”

“Yes?”

“Would you, erm, help me with my hair a minute?”

He held up a scrunchy that matched his dress as he gestured toward the bathroom — which was out of view of the telescope -- and she followed him in.

“Thank you for this awesome opportunity to be myself.”

He embraced her warmly.

“You’re welcome.”

They held each other for a few moments and Devyn then put his hair in a ponytail with the scrunchy.

“Have you done this before?”

Devyn smiled at her.

“Yes, I have. Anna has dressed me up many times. I’ve always loved it.”

“Well, I’m glad to help — now that I know I’m actually helping.”

Devyn smiled girlishly as they giggled and Maddy embraced him. Then they put straight faces on and left the bathroom. Maddy gathered an extra bra, extra pair of panties, a nightgown, an outfit for the following day and everything else Devyn would need. Maddy opened the duffle bag and placed the clothes inside it. Devyn began to feel nervous about returning to Tina's party as a girl. He definitely wanted to, but he was nervous about keeping Tina’s mother fooled. Devyn decided that they should still be acting for the telescope, even if the girls could no longer hear them.

“Maddy, please let me have my clothes back. I-I don’t think I can go through with this.”

He secretly winked at her when she looked up at him. Maddy stopped what she was doing and came to look Devyn in the eyes face to face. She took his hands before she continued their act.

“Devyn, do you trust me?”

“Well, yes, I do, you know I do.”

She smiled.

“Good. Would I do anything to hurt you, get you in trouble or put you in any danger?”

“No, of course not.”

“Of course I wouldn’t. I’m not going to tonight either. I promise.”

“Let’s go back to Tina's now.”

He smiled inwardly as they began to walk down the stairs. Halfway down the stairs, out of view of the telescope, Devyn stopped.

“Wow, I’m more nervous about this than I thought.”

“This will go just fine, sweetie. Anyone who messes with you will have to deal with me.”

She kissed him on the cheek. That helped him relax a bit!

“Thanks Maddy. You’re the best!”

Devyn reciprocated Maddy’s kiss. They headed down the stairs and before they reached the front door, he noticed that she had only brought the duffle bag downstairs. That meant they would be leaving his clothes at her house! Devyn began to get nervous again… yet very excited and even relieved. Seconds later, they were outside, and Maddy's front door was securely locked behind them. For the first time, Devyn was being his true self outside the house. The walk to Tina's felt great, but there was absolutely nobody about, and it wasn't that much different than walking around Maddy's house. When they reached Tina's front door again, and Maddy rang the bell, his heart began racing. Tina answered her door while her mother was in the kitchen and smuggled her friends upstairs to her bedroom where the other two girls were waiting. Maddy made the formal introduction.

"Hi, everyone. Girls, meet the new Devyn!"

He walked into the room and let the other girls see him. They all laughed again.

“Hi, girls!”

Devyn gave them a girly wave and they gathered around him. He was really nervous, but he was also enjoying the experience. Maddy gave him a hug and the other girls did the same. Devyn loved hugging all of the girls. He was glad that he was still accepted by them -- and now he was beginning to feel that he was one of them!

“Well, Tina, I guess we’re having an all-girl party tonight, just like you wanted!”

“Yeah, I guess we are.”

Tina glanced at Maddy.

“Now, remember everyone, that it’s not Devyn’s idea to come to the party as a girl. It’s my idea to make her a girl for the night and I’ve promised to return her clothes tomorrow morning after the party.”

“Wow, Maddy, you’re really making him a girl for the whole night?”

“Yes, I am, but no one is allowed to be mean, okay?”

“We don’t want to be mean to Devyn.”

“I know, Caitlin. It’s just that I’m being mean enough to Devyn by making him do this.”

“Well, Devyn, I’m very happy to have you at my party as a girl.”

Tina giggled… and set off the rest of them as well.

“Thanks, Tina.”

"You look pretty, Devyn. I hope it's okay for me to say so."

Caitlin wasn’t a mean person, so he knew that she was not teasing him. He smiled at the compliment.

"It's okay for you to say that, Caitlin. Thanks. I'm glad I’m wearing something that looks nice, and not something that looks... sleazy or something."

Kieran threw in a joke to make Devyn feel better.

"I don't think Maddy has any sleazy clothes. She's too much of a prude."

Kieran’s joke did its thing and and they all laughed. Maddy, however, was not to be outdone.

"Yeah, almost as much as you are a wiseass!"

The girls went back up to Tina's room and this time they looked at the moon with her new telescope. When it was Devyn’s turn he also looked down at Maddy's room to see what they had seen. He could almost read the open book on Maddy’s desk. He had been very plain to see.
Downstairs, Tina's mom called up that it would be time for dinner in ten minutes.

"Okay Mom!” Tina's head jerked up as something occurred to her. “Hey Devyn, we can't use your real name or my mom will know that it's you under there. We'll just have to call you… Lori."

Devyn flashed a nervous smile as he thought about being called by a girl’s name all night.

"Well, whatever you have to do is okay."

Lori loved the idea of being called by a girl's name but she wasn't ready for anyone except Maddy to know it. Maddy decided to take things further, but she was doing it out of necessity as much as she was for fun.

"Lori, let me put some makeup on you so Tina's mom won't recognize you."

"Yeah, that might be a good idea, Lori. Girls like to get gussied up for a night like tonight and you’ll draw attention if you’re not gussied up like the rest of us."

Tina was getting into this as much as Maddy.

“Okay, do whatever you need to do, I guess.”

They put lipstick, eyeliner and mascara on Lori and left it at that. Then they put reddish pink nail polish on her fingernails. Tina put a silver necklace around Lori’s neck with a small, heart shaped pendant on it. Maddy put one of her rings on Lori’s right ring finger. Tina ran Lori’s hair through a curling iron. Finally, Tina and Maddy brought Lori over to Tina's mirror. When she saw herself, she didn't know what to say other than, "Wow! I look so pretty!"

The other girls giggled at Lori softly. Lori felt wonderful. The clothes felt wonderful. It felt great to free her hair from its ponytail. The nail polish and jewelry felt terrific. Lori was very happy to be one of the girls!

"Okay, we'd better go downstairs for dinner before Mom starts asking questions!"

The thought of Tina’s mother finding out about Lori made her nervous. They started for the door as Lori stood there staring at herself in the mirror.

"Come on, Lori!"

"Coming!"

She hurried after them and headed down the stairs as one of the girls. She tried to relax, since being nervous would only get her found out by Tina's mother. Lori figured that even if she was nervous about being dressed as a girl, she could still have fun. Besides, they weren’t going to leave the house.

Tina's mother didn't recognize Lori when she saw her.

"Oh, hello there! I see Tina has a new friend from school?"

Her eyes moved back and forth between them.

“Yeah, I should introduce you! This is Lori. Lori, this is my mother.”

"Hi! It’s nice to meet you!"

Lori was glad that their school was big enough that a new face was no surprise.

"It’s nice to meet you, too, dear! We’re so glad you could come. Where's Devyn, by the way?"

Maddy fielded the question.

"He ate some bad fish last night and so he's home tonight -- but we made him promise to call Tina on her birthday or else!"

"Oh, the poor kid. Well, he'd better call!" They all giggled at that. “Okay, girls, I have a surprise for Tina!”

“Really, Mom? What is it?”

“We’re going to your favorite restaurant for dinner!”

Tina’s eyes went wide. She was genuinely excited to be going to her favorite restaurant, but she was nervous that making Lori a girl for the night might backfire. As she looked over at Maddy and Lori, she decided to focus on her excitement to avoid suspicion. She didn’t truly have a choice anyhow — not without revealing what was going on.

“Oh, Mom, that sounds wonderful! Thank you!”

She ran over and gave her mother a big hug. The girls piled into Tina’s mother’s minivan for the ride to the restaurant. Maddy had Lori sit in the far rear seat with her and Tina so they could talk. She whispered to Caitlin and Kieran to keep up the conversation in front to cover for them and they were more than willing. Once they were all seated, Caitlin and Kieran began chatting with Tina’s mom. Tina contributed to their conversation every once in a while. Meanwhile, Maddy, Lori and Tina whispered amongst themselves in the back of the car.

“Lori, I’m sorry. I did not see this coming.”

“It’s okay Maddy, you couldn’t have known about this surprise.”

“Yeah, Maddy, it’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is. If I had given you back your clothes instead of making you a girl for the night you wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Yes, but I would be in another mess called boyhood,” he thought.

“Maddy, you were blindsided with this surprise,” Tina insisted.

“I guess.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” Devyn agreed with Tina.

Maddy smiled at Lori again. Lori was becoming quite fond of seeing Maddy smile — and of Maddy herself.

“Okay.”

Tina leaned forward in her seat to add to the conversation up front and Lori used the opportunity to whisper to Maddy privately.

“Hey, Maddy?”

“I’m here,” she whispered back, her face inches from Lori’s.

“How did you know about me? I never told anyone before I told you in the basement.”

Maddy smiled sheepishly at Lori.

“I didn’t. It was just that you have had your hair as long as a girl for a long time and you’re very different from any other boy I’ve ever known. I have been wondering about you for a while. I was only testing you tonight. I guess I have some explaining of my own to do.”

She reached over and gently stroked Lori’s chin. Lori smiled warmly at Maddy and took her hand.

“We’ll talk later.”

“Okay, we’ll talk sometime after we get back from the restaurant. I just hope this is a good experience for you.”

“I am happy to be doing this. If Tina’s mother finds out and she can’t handle it then, well, that’s her problem.”

Maddy smiled at Lori once more.

“Yeah, I guess. Well, we’d better join the conversation up front.”

“Okay, I guess you’re right.”

They held hands to reassure each other and they began chatting with everyone else in the car about various things. A few minutes later they arrived at the restaurant. Lori was really nervous as they walked in. She was in public for the first time. The restaurant was packed. Lori didn’t know if she could do this. She did know that she didn’t have a choice. She felt like things were happening too fast. She took a breath and tried to relax, telling herself that she was doing it to keep Tina from getting in trouble on her birthday -- and because she didn’t want to be in the closet one more second. Maddy hooked her arm in Lori’s to reassure her.

It was a nice Italian restaurant, with Tuscan style interior décor and dim, mood-setting lighting. They were given a nice table in back since it was Tina’s birthday. On instinct, Lori decided to try to get a seat facing away from the door. Maddy and Tina understood what she was doing and made sure she was successful. Maddy sat across from Lori. When Lori sat down, she swept her dress out from under her and crossed her legs at her knees. She felt very nervous to be dressed as a girl at that restaurant. She was glad that she looked so much like a girl that nobody would know what was going on. She was greatly enjoying being at a restaurant dressed as a girl, but she couldn’t stop being nervous. She tried to stay calm. A waitress came to the table and they ordered. While she was taking Lori’s order, she winked at her. Lori smiled back at her.

Halfway through the meal, Lori realized that she had to go to the bathroom. She had seen her sister ask her friends to come to the bathroom with her, so she asked Maddy to come along with her. Maddy happily obliged her and they told Tina they’d be right back. On the way to the bathroom, Maddy whispered to Lori that she was doing great and reminded her to sit down and use some toilet paper when they went into the bathroom. Lori nodded at her to let her know that she understood. After she was done and got herself dressed again, Lori walked out of the stall to the sink to wash her hands. Maddy did the same. They touched up their lipstick briefly. When they were done, they turned to leave the bathroom.
They had taken two steps towards the door when it opened and in walked Anna! Maddy and Lori stopped in their tracks. Anna’s eyes got very wide and she gasped, putting one hand over her mouth as she smirked.

“Oh, my--” She looked around to make sure the three of them were alone in the bathroom. They were. “Devyn?”

“Hi, Anna. Yes, it’s me. Please don’t say anything to Mom and Dad.”

“I won’t say anything, but… what’s going on? Why are you dressed like a girl here — and why are you in a girls’ bathroom?”

“It’s a very long story and I promise to explain it all to you when I get home tomorrow.”

Anna wondered if there might be more to the picture than they were letting on. She had always had the feeling that her little brother might really be a girl.

“You probably shouldn’t be here.”

“I know. We didn’t know we were going out for dinner. This is Tina’s favorite restaurant and Tina’s mom surprised her by bringing us here on her birthday.”

“Yes, and I thought we’d draw a lot more attention if I walked into the boys’ bathroom dressed like this.”

“Hmm, you’re probably right. Well, be careful out there because Mom and Dad are here and I don’t want them to see you like this just yet — and Mom might be coming in here soon, so watch yourself.”

Lori was feeling very nervous again. Too many things seemed to be going wrong.

“Don’t worry, we will!”

“You sure do look great. Did Maddy help you?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Well, Maddy certainly made you pretty.”

Maddy and Lori thanked her in near-perfect unison, making all three of them giggle.

“May I ask you a question?”

“Okay.”

“I know that you really love being dressed as a girl, but is there anything more to it?”

“Yes, there is. I'm transgendered.”

Anna had a big smile on her face.

“Well, Devyn, I kind of knew that anyway — or at least I suspected — but I’m really, really happy that you have it figured out now!”

Anna hugged Lori quickly.

“Please, call me Lori.”

“That’s a totally cute name! Okay, Lori, I have to pee now, so have a fun night!”

She began to giggle at me.

“Thanks for not saying anything, sis!”

“You’re welcome! You and I have to celebrate in style, sis!”

“Okay! I would love to!”

“Cool — and Maddy, you should be there, too!”

“I certainly will,” Maddy chirped. “Bye, Anna!”

“Bye Maddy — and bye, Lori!”

Maddy and Lori left the bathroom as Anna dashed for a stall. They made it safely back to their table. Tina smiled at them, relieved to see they were back safely. When they finished eating, the waitress asked them if they wanted desert. Tina’s mom politely declined and explained that they were having birthday cake when they got home. When the waitress heard it was Tina’s birthday, she excused herself and returned with a cupcake that had a single lit birthday candle in it — and she had two waiters in tow!

Tina looked over at Maddy and Lori as they all began loudly singing Happy Birthday. The entire restaurant began to join in the singing, which meant that Lori’s parents might be looking in their direction. Lori looked at Maddy inquisitively, hoping she would understand Lori’s silent request for her to check. She did. She scanned the room and located Lori’s family. Then she giggled and looked back at Lori. She motioned for her to lean forward. When she did, Maddy whispered that Anna had covered for Lori by deliberately spilling her glass of water and returning their attention to their table. Then their waiter came over to clean up the water and fortuitously blocked their view. Lori giggled, too, when she heard that.

Fortunately, her parents seemed not to have noticed anything. She had a pretty cool big sister and she whispered to Maddy that she would have to thank her sister profusely when this was over, especially since their parents might be annoyed at her for spilling her water. Finally, the singing died down… but then the entire restaurant applauded. Tina blushed. The waiters left and Tina gave the girls and her mother a bite of her cupcake. There was no way she was eating a chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting all by herself — and it was one big cupcake. A couple of minutes later the waitress returned with the bill. After Tina’s mom signed the bill, they were off.

Lori felt a bit more relaxed once they got back in the car. Tina, Maddy and Lori sat in back again on the ride home. They told Tina about running into Lori’s sister in the bathroom and about how she covered for Lori when the singing started. Tina asked if Lori’s parents noticed anything. Maddy replied that her parents looked in their direction briefly before Anna spilled her glass of water but they didn’t seem to notice.

When they got back to Tina’s house, Tina’s mom ducked into the kitchen to get the cake ready. Maddy used the opportunity to remind Lori that Devyn was supposed to call Tina on her birthday.

"How are you going to make that phone call?"

"Simple. Tina's mom only has to hear the phone ring. Tina can fake the call from there. Watch and learn!"

Maddy was actually giggling. Lori didn't know the real reason Maddy was giggling.

“You'd better hurry. Tina's mom will be in here any second."

Lori took out her cellphone and dialed Tina's cellphone. Tina answered her phone.

"Hi, Tina! Happy birthday!"

Tina put one hand over her mouth as she started giggling. Lori put her extended pointer finger over her mouth, hung up her phone, and put it back in her sweater pocket. Tina began faking the conversation and talking loudly so her mother could hear it. Then her mother came out of the kitchen and headed straight for Tina.

"I thought I heard a cellphone in here. May I say hello to Devyn?"

"Sure, Mom-- what, Devyn? Oh, no! Okay, no problem, I'll let you go. Thanks for calling me! Bye!” Tina snapped her cell phone shut. “Sorry, Mom. He had to throw up again."

Maddy and I had to fight to keep our faces straight.

"That's too bad, the poor dear. Oh well, shall we have some cake?"

"Yes!”

Tina’s mom walked back into the kitchen and came back out with the cake, complete with thirteen lit candles. They all started singing happy birthday to Tina. The cake was delicious. After it was over, they took their dishes into the kitchen and Tina's mom suggested that Tina open her gifts. Lori paused for a moment, trying to remember what she'd brought for Tina, but then she remembered that she was giving Tina a pair of earrings. Lori decided it was probably a typical gift from one girl to another and wouldn't give her away.

Tina opened her gifts, one by one. Other than the earrings Lori gave her, she got a necklace from Maddy, and CDs from Kieran and Caitlin. She was heartily pleased with her new gifts and put them carefully away in their boxes.

As they cleaned up the table, Lori’s cell phone began vibrating. She looked for Tina’s mom and saw that she had gone back to the kitchen to do the desert dishes. Lori answered her phone. It was her sister calling. Anna said that their mother had noticed Lori wasn’t at the table during the singing and wanted her to call Lori to see where she was. Anna had decided to use the opportunity to check on Lori. Lori thanked her profusely for covering for her and told her to tell their mother that Lori had been in the bathroom during the singing. Anna had him hold on while she told their mother. When she came back on the line Lori asked her if their parents suspected anything. Anna said that their mother had a puzzled expression on her face, but she looked like she was dismissing it and seemed satisfied with the answer they had given her. Lori had to keep herself from laughing. Finally, she thanked her sister again and promised to repay her in full one day. Anna told her not to worry about it and told her how much she loved her new sister. Lori thanked her profusely for being such a loving big sister and after heartfelt goodnights, they hung up.
As Lori put her cellphone back in her sweater pocket, Tina’s landline phone rang. It was her father calling to wish her a happy birthday. She politely excused herself and eagerly went to speak with her father. Maddy tapped Lori on the shoulder.

“Hey, Lori, come here,”

Maddy went over and sat down on the love seat in the living room, patting the space next to her as she looked at Lori. Joining her on the love seat, Lori smiled at her and put one arm around her.

“What’s up, Maddy?”

“While we were in the car we decided that we’d talk later on. I guess now is as good a time as any.”

“Oh, that’s right! Let’s talk!”

Lori told Maddy all about how Anna had dressed up Lori and treated her as one of the girls. Lori described how much she loved spending time as a girl with Anna and her friends and how she felt more upset each time about having to go back to being a boy. Lori described the night that she broke down crying in the bathroom because she was so upset about having to give up being a girl and how she finally understood that night that she was transgendered. Maddy listened raptly. When Lori was finished, Maddy hugged her warmly and tightly.

“Lori, like I said in my note, we will always be really close no matter what.”

Lori smiled at her.

“I know, Maddy.” Lori gently stroked Maddy’s chin and Maddy returned her smile.

“Well, now it’s my turn to do some explaining--”

“Hey everyone! How about a night time swim?”

Tina had obviously finished talking with her father.

“Oh, well. I guess I’ll have to tell you later.”

“Yeah, I guess so. Oh well, no worries.”

Lori and Maddy gave each other a brief hug. At first Lori thought a night time swim sounded appealing but then she remembered that she was a girl for the night and wondered how they would handle this. Maddy noticed that Lori was getting nervous and gently squeezed her hand in reassurance. She leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"Don't worry — I’ve got you covered."

Tina began to mobilize her guests.

"Come on, girls, let's get changed."

Once they got upstairs, Maddy got out two swimsuits, one from her suitcase, and one from the duffel bag she’d brought. Lori found herself hoping that she would be wearing one of them. Sure enough, Maddy handed one to her. Lori felt nervous about pulling off this part of the evening. Maddy and Tina had Lori change in the bathroom and wait in there until they came and got her. Lori walked into the bathroom, closed the door, and took her clothes off. The swimsuit was a purple Speedo. It was Lycra Spandex and the straps made an X in back. She slipped it on, and fumbled a bit, but eventually got it on, making an adjustment or two to make it look right. It felt very soft, snug and girly. She knew that a girl wouldn't go swimming with a scrunchy in her hair, so she took it off, laid it on the counter, and let her hair down. She brushed it a little bit with Tina's brush and tucked it behind her ears. Finally, she heard a knock on the door. "Okay, Lori, are you ready?"

"Yes. Here I come."

Lori walked out of the bathroom, now clad only in Maddy's swimsuit. The girls all giggled at her.

"Wow, that swimsuit fits you pretty darn well, Lori!"

"Um, thanks!”

She tried to smile. She knew that she would have fun swimming. Besides, it wasn’t a public pool or anything — although part of Lori almost wished it were.

"Put on these sandals."

"Okay."

They were made of some kind of cork with a glossy surface and had a red faux velvet thong on top. They were actually very comfortable. Lori saw the nail polish on her toes, now that her feet were out of the shoes. She thought her feet looked very cute. All of this felt wonderful to Lori and she beamed as she let it all sink in.

"Okay, let's go swimming!"

They all went outside into Tina's backyard and got in the pool. As Lori got in the pool and began to swim around with the other girls, she was amazed at how good it felt to swim around in a girl's swimsuit. She truly loved being one of the girls. They were in the pool for about an hour when they decided to move to the hot tub. They climbed out of the pool and Lori looked around for Tina’s mother, who was well out of earshot. As they headed for the hot tub, Lori caught up to Maddy and hooked one arm in hers.

“Hi there.”

“Hi, Lori!”

They smiled warmly at each other and then Lori looked around for a moment.

“Do you think the other girls are ready to hear all about me?”

Maddy looked Lori in the eyes.

“Yes, I’m sure they are.”

“Okay, then. When we get in the hot tub, let’s tell them everything!”

“Okay, let’s!”

As they all climbed into the toasty waters of the hot tub, Maddy and Lori sat next to each other. Tina’s mom was still inside and out of earshot.

“Okay, everyone! Gather around because we have to talk!”

All of the girls looked over at Maddy with expressions of curiosity on their faces as Maddy continued.

“First, I have a confession to make. I never lost my cell phone. I had it with me the whole time.”

They all gaped at her in shock. Kieran and Tina had questions.

“Then why did you ask Lori to go back to your house and look for it?”

“Yes, and why did you ask to borrow Tina’s phone when you had your own?”

“It will all become clear, I promise. Let me start from the beginning--”

“Why don’t you let me tell them about me first, Maddy? I think it will make things easier.”

Maddy looked back at Lori and hooked one arm in hers.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Go ahead!”

“Okay.” Everyone quieted down to listen. “I’m not sure how many of you know this — or suspect it anyway — but I really am a girl. I know I look like a boy–“ They all laughed at her. “–well, okay, not right now I don’t!”

Lori laughed before she continued.

“What I mean is that I have the body of a boy. The rest of me, though -- emotions, mind, heart, soul and all of that — is totally female. I understand girls way better than boys and I find it way easier to make friends with girls. I love being dressed as a girl, too. I always have and I always will.”

Lori went on to tell the tale of her dress-up sessions with Anna. She described how she felt sad to give up being a girl and how those feelings got worse each time until that critical Friday night when she broke down and cried in the bathroom because she finally knew that she was a girl. Lori’s audience remained very silent and Maddy took over for Lori.

“We all know that Lori has had long hair like that ever since we’ve known her -- and I’ve always wondered why. I had a feeling that there was more to it than just her hair and I wanted to see if I was right. I didn’t want her to be embarrassed or anything; I just wanted to experiment to see what would happen and see if it would answer my question. So, I came up with the idea of finding a way for her to be at my house alone. I decided I would leave a dress out and leave a bra, a pair of panties, a pair of tights and a pair of shoes next to it. I left a note with the outfit encouraging her to be herself and have fun. If she decided to do just that, then I would know because the clothes would not be on the bed where I left them. I planned to go back down there and check on her to see if she had taken me up on my offer — but it never had anything to do with blackmail. I made that part up. At the time, I was only guessing that Lori was transgendered and while it was partly a test, it was also honestly to give her a chance to be herself at least for a little while. I didn’t know about her adventures with Anna until tonight.

“Anyway, an opportunity to give Lori that time to be herself presented itself this weekend, what with my parents being away. I figured that we’d have some time at the beginning of the party before things got into full swing and I decided it would be a perfect time to give it a try. So, before we came here today, I had everything ready. Before anyone arrived at my house, I made sure that the back door was unlocked so that I’d be able to get into my house after I gave Lori the keys. Then, I deliberately made myself late getting changed so that I could purposely ask Devyn and Kieran and Caitlin which dress they liked better. When Kieran suggested that I think about what Tina was wearing and I decided on wearing my yellow dress, I deliberately asked the girls whether they thought my white tights or my champagne tights would look better with that dress. I wanted to get Lori thinking about girl clothes. On our way out the door, when I said I forgot my house keys, I was really laying out the outfit and putting the note next to it.

“Later, once we got here, I needed a reason to give Lori my keys and send her to my house alone so that she could be herself. When Crystal called, I had my reason — only it wasn’t Crystal. It was me. I wasn’t really in the bathroom. I snuck off to call Caitlin’s cell phone and I pretended to be Crystal. I blocked my caller ID so that Caitlin wouldn’t know it was me. Once I had Caitlin on the line, I pretended that Crystal had to answer her door and I put Caitlin on hold. That was my chance to get back to the living room. The only tricky part was that I had to make it back to the living room without hanging up. Otherwise, the little screen on Caitlin’s phone would tell her the call was ended and she might figure out it was me because of the timing. So, while I had Caitlin on hold, I put my phone in my purse with the connection still active. When I got back to the living room and Caitlin handed me her phone, I pretended that I would be on it for a while. Then, when I reached into my bag to grab my keys for Lori, I secretly hung up my phone. Then, of course, I faked the conversation -- which is why I was giggling at you, Lori, when you called Tina on her phone. I was way ahead of you!"

They giggled at Maddy.

“Unfortunately my plan hit a major snag when Tina surprised us with her telescope. I had intended for Lori to be herself privately. When I saw that telescope I was really upset. I never said anything in my note to Lori about anybody seeing her and I felt just terrible.”
Maddy began to choke up and Lori hugged her tightly. Maddy continued while she lingered in Lori’s arms.

“I asked to look though the telescope first so that I could at least check and see if Lori had dressed herself up as a girl — and she had, of course. I tried to think of anything I could to protect Lori’s secret. I was afraid to admit that I had never lost my phone because I didn’t know what to say and what not to at that point, so I borrowed Caitlin’s cellphone to call Lori and try to stall for time, but then the birthday girl wanted to have a look. Then I asked if Tina’s telescope was good for seeing planets. That almost worked; Tina started to find Jupiter but it was behind a cloud. I asked about Saturn instead and even the moon but we couldn’t see those either and Tina began to point the telescope at Lori. I was horrified. I tried to think of something, anything to save Lori. I was still on the phone with Lori and I was just about to tell her to look in my bathroom so she’d be out of sight of the telescope but before I could get the words out, Tina saw Lori dressed as a girl and it was too late! I put the phone on mute so Lori wouldn’t hear Tina screeching about it. Kieran and Caitlin lined up to have a look, and then they encouraged me to have a look because I just had to see you dressed as a girl and I felt so awful I just wanted to cry.”

Maddy, still in Lori’s arms, choked up again and Lori gently stroked her hair and cooed quietly in her ear.

“It’s okay Maddy. You did a very good thing for me — and I’m really, really glad you did. Everything is turning out great. Thank you.”

Maddy looked up at her with a smile on her face and kissed her squarely on her lips, to Lori’s delight and everyone’s surprise. Tina gently interrupted Maddy’s narration.

“Er, Maddy, hon, is there something else you want to tell us?”

Maddy looked back at her with a silly smile on her face and one hand on her mouth. Then she looked back at Lori and nodded.

“Oh, yes, I think there is--” She looked back at Tina. “–but let me finish this first.”

“Okay, lover-girl, whatever you say!”

The girls chuckled at Maddy and Lori as Maddy continued.

“Okay, anyway, when everyone started taking turns spying on poor Lori,” Maddy gently touched Lori’s chin, “I claimed that I had blackmailed Lori into it.” Maddy looked into Lori’s eyes. “I told them that the note said that you had to dress as a girl and if you weren’t a girl by the time I got there then they would know about you.” Maddy’s face took on a pained look. “I was never going to tell them that, I swear, Lori, I was trying to protect your secret any way I could.”

A couple of tears leaked from Maddy’s eyes and Lori wiped them with her hot-tub-warmed hand.

“I never had any intention of outing you!”

Lori hugged her tightly.

“I know.”

Maddy briefly smiled up at her and turned back to her audience.

“Anyway, I decided I had to go down there and talk to her. That was when I asked to take Tina’s cellphone with me when I went home. I borrowed Tina’s cellphone for the same reason I borrowed Caitlin’s. I didn’t know what I should reveal yet. When I got back to my house I told Tina I was hiding while I figured out what to do next, but I wasn’t hiding, Tina.”

Tina’s eyebrows went up.

“I directed Lori into the living room at the front of the house so you would follow him with the telescope and I could get to the basement stairs in the back. Then I had Caitlin direct Lori to the basement so I could sneak a talk with Lori and tell her what had happened. That was when she told me I was right about her being a girl. I gave her the option of changing back, but she didn’t want to be a boy again. I could see that the idea of changing back into boy clothes was upsetting her. So, I said I’d bring her here as a girl and tell everyone it was part of the blackmail. I didn’t want you three to know that I had talked secretly with Lori because you know that I was making up the blackmail. So I told Caitlin to have Lori go to the master bedroom, again at the front of the house, so I could get up to my bedroom using the back stairs without Tina seeing me through the telescope. When Lori got to my room, we did a little play-acting from there on. Even after we hung up our cellphones, we knew Tina would be watching since she's such a perv," Everyone laughed. "and so we kept acting until we left my house.”

They were all pretty astonished with Maddy’s elaborate plan.

“Wow, you’re pretty tricky, Maddy.”

“Thanks, Tina! Oh, I almost forgot! When we went to the bathroom at the restaurant, we ran into Anna!”

Maddy recounted Anna’s heroic distraction of her parents for the girls who hadn’t heard and completed her speech.

"This has certainly been an interesting night," quipped Kieran. "Is that everything, Maddy?"

“Well… I guess it’s time to explain why I just kissed Lori like that.”

“You’re a lesbian, aren’t you?” Tina had known it when she saw that kiss.

“Yes, I am. Lori, in the car and later in the living room, I said I had explaining of my own to do. The reason I wondered whether you might be a girl is that the more I get to know you the more I love you. It’s always been that way -- but I’m a lesbian. I wondered why I began to have feelings for you and I decided to experiment tonight to find out. That’s what I was going to tell you.”

Maddy looked at Lori and smiled happily at her. Lori lovingly returned her smile.

“Well, Maddy, I have always loved you, too, and it just gets stronger for me as well. Thanks to you, this has been the best night of my life.”

Lori reciprocated Maddy’s kiss and this time they lingered while the other girls applauded and cat-called.

“Well. This has been one hell of a birthday party! I don’t think I’ll ever forget it!”

“That’s just fine with me, Tina. I won’t forget it either,” Lori agreed.

Tina came over to give Lori a hug. Then she hugged Maddy, too.

“Come here, you big lesbo!”

Tina hugged Maddy, too.

“So, Lori, does you family know about you?”

“I told Anna in the ladies’ room--” the girls laughed at her “--and she’s totally cool with it. My parents do not know yet, but I think — well, I hope — they will be okay with it.”

Lori began to feel a bit nervous. Maddy playfully tightened her grip on Lori.

“Yeah, they’ll be fine with it. You’ll see.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right, you sweet thing, you.”

Lori kissed Maddy again. Tina had enough of watching her girl friends kiss in the hot tub and she put a diplomatic end to the show.

“All right, everyone. It’s time to for us get out of this hot tub and dry off — and for you two to cool off — so that we can head up to my room and give Lori a proper welcome into her girlhood.”

“What do you have in mind, Tina?”

“I’m not sure yet, but I’ll know by the time we get up there and get changed for the night.”

“Okay!”

Lori and Maddy helped each other out of the hot tub and they all toweled off. Then they processed up to Tina’s room and changed into their nightclothes. When they were done, Tina closed her bedroom door and gathered everyone into the center of her bedroom.

“Okay, everyone. Now that Lori is entering her girlhood, we have to help her do that right.” She paused for a moment as she deliberated something. “Well, this will be optional, I guess, but I would like each one of us to give Lori one piece of jewelry so that she can start her collection.”

Maddy was instantly smitten with the idea.

“Yeah, that’s a wonderful idea!”

“Awwwww! That’s the sweetest thing ever. You don’t have to do that.”

“But we want to,” Maddy answered for Tina.

“I don’t know what to say except thank you so much — and Tina don’t you dare give me back your birthday earrings! I’ll be insulted!!”

The girls giggled as Lori gave Tina a hug. Then she gave Maddy a bigger one.

“I’ll go first!”

Maddy briefly squeezed Lori’s hands and scurried to her overnight bag. She pulled out the silver chain with the heart shaped pendant that she'd put on Lori earlier. She placed it around Lori’s neck and whispered in her ear while she did so.

“Let this be your reminder that Maddy loves you!”

Lori turned around to face her with a tear leaking from one eye.

“Maddy, I love it! Thank you!”

Lori whispered in Maddy’s ear.

“Whenever you see me wearing it, let it remind you that Lori loves you.”

They hugged each other warmly and Maddy kept her arms around Lori as Lori turned to face Tina. Tina had picked out a piece of jewelry to give to Lori. It was a pair of silver hoop earrings about as big around as quarters. They were clip-on since Lori’s ears were not yet pierced. Tina fixed them to Lori’s ears for her.

“You gave me earrings for my birthday, so I’m giving you some of mine. When you put these on you can remember your first night out as a girl."

"Thank you, Tina! I love them!”

Tina knew that Maddy wasn’t about to let go of Lori and Tina leaned in to hug Lori instead.

“My turn!”

Kieran approached with a ring which she slid on Lori’s right hand. The ring was a thin band of silver perhaps three millimeters wide and had colorless stones set into it single-file all the way around.

“This one’s from me. They call this a promise ring — don’t ask me why. Anyway, you’ve had to live with only a promise of ever becoming the real you and now that promise is pretty much fulfilled, so this is for you.”

“Thanks, Kieran! It’s really pretty.”

Lori reached out her arms — from within Maddy’s embrace — and Kieran leaned in for her hug.

“Now me!”

Caitlin made her way to Lori and placed another ring on Lori’s left hand. It was also a thin band of silver but it had a pink butterfly made of cubic zirconium on it. It was the same ring that she'd put on Lori just before dinner.

“Well, now that you’re coming out of your cocoon, just like a butterfly, I think this ring is perfect for you!”

“A butterfly! It is perfect! I love it! Thank you Caitlin!”

Caitlin leaned right in for her hug. She had watched the others and she knew the drill. Tina got things moving again.

“Okay, Lori. You are officially a girl. You are one of us!”

The girls cheered for Lori who blushed and leaned her head on Maddy’s.

“Now, what this ceremony needs is a reception. We need food — and we have a bottle of Martinelli’s sparkling apple juice, too. Let’s snag it! Come on, girls!”

They went down to the kitchen and brought the bottle of sparkling apple juice back up to Tina’s room with some plastic cups — along with some pretzels and chips.

“Tina, I don’t want to usurp your birthday celebration.”

“Oh yeah?” Tina put her hands on her hips. “Well, I’m the birthday girl and you have to do what I say and I say you are celebrating with me tonight. So there!”

The girls laughed at each other. Tina turned on her stereo and played a bunch of great “chick tunes”. They had a great night secretly celebrating Lori’s girlhood along with Tina’s birthday.

The next morning, Tina and Maddy dressed Lori in a denim skirt, red cotton tank top, and saddle colored sandals. After breakfast, it was time for Lori to walk back to Maddy’s with her. Lori loitered at the table and she lingered in Tina’s bedroom when she and Maddy went up there to grab Maddy’s duffle bag. On the way out of Tina’s house, Lori gave everyone another round of hugs and sadly left to face putting her boy clothes on again. Once they got back to Maddy’s house, Lori avoided changing back into her boy clothes.

“Maddy, can we… just stay here for a little while?”

Maddy was putting her things in her hamper. She finished quickly, sat down on her bed next to Lori and put her arms around her.

“Yeah, we can do that. I know you don’t want to dress like a boy anymore.”

“Screw dressing like a boy.”

“Yeah. We’ll hang out here for a little while.”

Maddy paused and kissed Lori again. Then she softly touched Lori’s face with one hand.

“You know, Lori, you are a girl no matter what you’re wearing.”

“I know.” Lori kissed Maddy. “I just want to be myself now and not pretend anymore.”

“Of course you do. Well, don’t worry we’ll stay here for a little whi--”

Lori’s cellphone began ringing. The little screen on her phone indicated that Anna wished to speak with her. She answered without hesitation.

“Hi Anna.”

“Hi Lori. Did I get you at a good time?”

“Yeah, of course, Anna!”

“Good. I just wanted to check on you and see how you’re doing. I’m really happy for you that you’re a girl.”

“Yeah, me too. I just wish I didn’t have to turn back into a boy ever again, but Mom and Dad don’t know yet--”

“–well, if you’re on your way home, Mom and Dad are out taking a ride and won’t be back until dinner time. That’s kind of why I’m calling. If you want to, you can stay at Tina’s a while longer and after dinner I’ll dress you up and we’ll do some girl stuff.”

Lori’s face brightened up immensely.

“Really?”

“Of course!”

“Okay, great! Well, I’m glad for the extra time because Maddy and I hooked up last night.”

“Really? Well done, Lori! I’m thrilled about that, too — she is so adorable!”

Lori looked at Maddy with a smile on her face.

“Yeah, she’s totally adorable!”

Maddy put her arms around Lori and rested her head against Lori’s. Lori let her listen in on the conversation.

“Okay sis — damn, but your life is coming together!”

“Yup. It sure is! Anna, do you think Mom and Dad will accept me as a girl?”

“Psssh! Shit, yeah, they will! Do you really think they haven’t noticed anything?”

“Good point.”

“Yup. They’ve both noticed all right — starting oh, I’d say about three years ago.”

“Wow, really?”

“Oh yeah. Mom’s been very discrete. You know how a bottle of nail polish or a fresh pack of hair bands or something just mysteriously appears in my room sometimes when you’re being yourself?”

“Yes?”

“Mom smuggles those things to me when she knocks on the door to tell me something. Usually it’s to tell me ‘Here, she’ll love this!’ and I’m dead serious!”

Relief began to flood through Lori. Maddy gently squeezed her shoulder.

“Really?”

“Shit, yeah!”

“How come she hasn’t said anything to me?”

“She’s just waiting for you to tell her when you’re ready. Same with Dad, basically, except he doesn’t pick out nail polish for you — thank God!”

“Thank God is right!”

There was laughter all around.

“Okay, Anna, well I am staying put until dinner time and I’ll see you then!”

“Okay, Lori! See you then. Have fun, little girl!”

“You, too! Bye!”

“Bye!”

Maddy grabbed her keys and Lori’s hand and dragged her all the way back up the hill to Tina’s house.

THE END?

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Forever Friends

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

Mature Subjects (pg15)

Contests:

All Souls Day 2008 Story Contest

Publication:

17,500 < Novella < 40,000 words

Genre:

Character Age:

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

It was amazing how one simple question could bring back so many memories. Some of those memories were heartwarming and others were frightening, but they all came rushing back when Ricki innocently asked that one simple question.

"So, Letti, how did you and Meg meet?"

And now the story...

FOREVER FRIENDS

It was late February of 2008 and we were gathered in Ricki’s basement. The five of us had planned to go out to a movie and a pizza parlor, but the weather changed our plans. There was a snowstorm that was supposed to pass to the north of us but it came right at us instead. After the first foot of snow fell, we decided to have an impromptu girls’ night in Ricki’s basement. Ricki had just moved into town over the summer and we were just getting to know her. A girls’ night was a perfect way to do that.

Ricki’s basement was nicely done in plush carpets and upholsteries. The basement had a big plasma screen TV, shelves of books and games on one wall, and a small bar in one corner. A mahogany card table stood in another corner. There were two couches and a coffee table near the fireplace, where Ricki had built a roaring fire. It was a wonderful room that offered versatility without sacrificing coziness.

We had watched a romantic comedy and after the final credits we began chatting about real-life romance.

“So, Letti, how did you and Meg meet?”

Meg and I exchanged glances. We had never become accustomed to addressing that question because we never knew how the inquirer would react to the answer. Slowly, I looked over at Ricki, smiled at her and gave her the simple truth.

“Meg’s dead friend introduced us.”

Ricki looked at me as though I had antlers growing out of my head. She was the hard-nosed skeptic type who didn’t believe in anything spiritual. She laughed and smiled at me.

“You are so full of shit! Seriously, how did you two meet?”

Meg and I exchanged glances again.

“I told you. Meg’s dead friend introduced us.”

Ricki laughed again — a bit nervously.

“Bullshit.”

Meg looked at her somberly.

“Her name was Lexy. She died in February of 2002.”

Meg put her arms around me. I reciprocated and gently squeezed her. Ricki’s laughter died in her throat and she stared at us with an expression of shock on her face.

“Oh my God, you’re totally serious!”

I nodded.

“Deadly serious.”

I was not joking, but the rest of the room chortled anyway. Ricki stared at me dumbfounded.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m hearing this!”

Cathy shrugged.

“I didn’t either at first… but now I do.”

Ricki stared at Cathy and Meg rolled her eyes.

“Ricki, you’re way too skeptical. I mean, I believe very deeply in being skeptical, too, but skepticism should be sensible, not closed-minded.”

Ricki smiled at Meg.

“Hey, listen, babe. If being sensibly skeptical means believing things that have never been proven — and probably never will be — then I want no part of it!”

“I’m not necessarily saying that it does. I am only saying that dismissing a theory without evidence is as bad as believing one without evidence. An unproven theory belongs ‘on the table’ until someone proves it right or proves it wrong. For instance, if you tell me that there’s no such thing as ghosts, then you are also saying that something other than ghosts is responsible for the phenomenon that we call ghosts. That is not just a statement. It is a theory and just like all other theories, it should be verified before it is accepted.”

How I loved that brain of Meg’s! Ricki sighed.

“How about we agree to disagree?”

Meg chuckled.

“Oh, all right!”

Ricki changed the subject before Meg changed her mind.

“So, are you going to tell me how you met or what?”

Ricki moved her eyes back and forth between us for a few seconds. Jena chimed in.

“I’m up for a good ghost story myself.”

“Me too!”

Ricki looked at Jena and Cathy with a mock scowl, sensing that they were gently pushing her buttons on purpose. Meg and I giggled and smiled at each other.

“Do you want to tell the story, Meg, or should I?”

“You tell it, Letti! You tell it way better than I do!”

“Okay.”

I smiled at the girl I loved and gave her a gentle kiss.

“Well, I hope everyone is settled in, because this will take a little while.”

Meg snuggled up against me.

“I’m good!”

* * * * *

In mid-2003, my father was transferred across the country. In August of that year, my family and I moved to follow him to his new job. After we settled in to our new home, odd things began to happen.

The first unexplained thing that I experienced was the sound of a door closing somewhere in the house — when I knew I was home alone. It was amazing how that ordinary sound could be so creepy in the equally mundane context of my empty house. Yet, it instantly set me on edge.

For a few seconds I stood rooted to the spot, wondering if I should investigate or hide. The sound of the door closing was followed by unadulterated silence, and I chose to check the house. I checked each of the bedrooms and bathrooms on the top floor of our home, fearing that I would find myself face to face with an intruder. I found nothing amiss — and every door I checked was open. I paused as I considered checking downstairs. After taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I eased myself down the stairs. When I got halfway down the flight, I poked my head over the banister and looked around. Everything looked just as it should. I descended to the front hall and began tiptoeing to each room. As was the case upstairs, all of the doors on the main floor were open. However, the front door, back door and windows were closed and locked. The security of the house had not been breached, but I did not feel any better. I wondered whether I should be relieved or frightened.

That was how it always went when I investigated the sound of the door closing. Every time I was home alone, from somewhere in the house would come the sound of a door closing. I would check the house only to find that I was still alone. The house was always safe and sound.

After four months of that, I was no longer worried about burglars, and I decided to change my tack. Instead of walking around the house to investigate, I would just stick my head into the hall for a moment just to see if my family had come home. When I heard nothing, I would go right back to whatever I was doing.

* * * * *

At this point, I paused.

“Um, Ricki, before I continue, there’s something I want to tell you about me.”

“Oh, okay. Go ahead.”

Meg interjected.

“Are you sure, sweetie?”

I gently touched her chin and gave her a kiss.

“Yes, I’m sure. I really can’t tell the story without talking about it.”

“Hmm, I guess you’re right.”

Ricki looked at me with interest.

“Okay. So…?”

I took a deep breath and Meg took my hand. Ricki noticed that.

“What’s going on, you two? I already know you’re lesbians!”

We chuckled at Ricki.

“Yes, but that’s not the only color in my rainbow.”

Ricki looked confused.

“Okay… what in the fuck are you talking about? Make sense, woman!”

I chuckled nervously.

“Ricki, I’m a trans-girl.”

Ricki looked at me blankly.

“A what?”

I opened my mouth, but it took a few seconds for anything to come out.

“A girl in a boy’s body — although I intend to change the body as soon as possible. My name was Kory, but I don’t use that name anymore. I’m going to have it legally changed soon.”

Meg and I smiled at each other. Ricki stared at me for several seconds. She looked briefly at Meg and stared at me for several more seconds.

“So you’re… you’re transsexual and you want a sex change?”

“Pretty much.”

I chuckled again.

“Wow… I had no idea. So are you… like… taking hormones?”

I smiled at Ricki.

“Yes, I am. I started taking them just a few days after my sixteenth birthday.”

Ricki stared at me for several more seconds.

“Ricki, are you okay?”

“I don’t know. It’s just, um…”

She looked down at her hands and watched her fingers toy with each other.

“Well, I’m feeling… kind of violated. I mean… we’ve had several girls’ nights now and there are things I said and did that I would only do around other girls. I-I don’t mean any offense at all… um, I don’t mean to say that you’re not a girl necessarily. Um… shit, this isn’t coming out right. I guess…”

I looked at her soberly and waited for her to finish.

“I guess I feel, well, deceived. I mean, Jena and Cathy, did you know?”

Both girls nodded.

“Yes. We met Letti just after Letti and Meg met. I guess you could say that Lexy introduced us, too.”

I could understand Ricki’s feeling that I had deceived her — even though I had done no such thing.

“Ricki, I know that this might be hard to swallow, but what you’re looking at is real. This is the real me. When I was living as a guy that was the deception. Whatever you said or did in front of me you said or did in front of one more girl, that’s all.”

Jena backed me up.

“I’ve also said and done things in front of Letti that I would only do in front of other girls, Ricki, because I know that Letti is a girl.”

Cathy stepped in as well.

“Same here, Ricki.”

Ricki appeared to think it over for a moment.

“Okay. I can accept that. I think that this is just new to me and so I’m not entirely comfortable… yet. Anyway, I honestly don’t have any problem with… with… transgenderism, if that’s the right word. It’s not your fault and I doubt you would have asked for that.”

I smiled at Ricki.

“You doubt correctly.”

Ricki nodded.

“So where, um… where does this come in to the story?”

I smiled at Ricki.

“Right about now.”

* * * * *

When I was home alone, I was usually dressed as a girl. I had not yet begun to live as a girl and my family didn’t know about me, so I was dressing myself as a girl in secret to keep myself sane. When I heard a door close, I would look down the hall and make sure my family wasn’t home.

The sound of a door closing wasn’t the only odd thing I noticed in the house. At times, I had the feeling that someone was in the room watching me. It didn’t seem to matter which room. I just knew that there was a spirit present who was watching me. I didn’t know why I could sense that. Some people were said to be “sensitive” to spirits and I supposed that I must be one of them. I always had been a very intuitive person.

My confusion over my gender identity was coming to a head around the time we moved. Naturally, I was overwhelmed with emotion because of it and I needed to vent it periodically. Sometimes, while home alone, I sat on my bed and had a good cry. Whenever I sat alone in my room and cried, I felt the spirit watching me. It was a very calming, loving presence and it made me feel that everything would work out all right.

At the end of our fifth month in the house, things changed. I reacted differently to the noises in the hall — and in the process, I provoked the spirit into taking things a step further.

It was a freezing cold Saturday night at the very end of January, and I was absolutely sure that everyone had left the house. My mother, Annabelle, and my father, Jaxon, were away that weekend, as they were on many weekends. Teri, my only sibling, was out with friends and wasn’t due home until midnight.

I had made a point of watching my family leave the house because I wanted to dress myself as a girl. That night, I had a perfect opportunity to dress myself as a girl again — and I took full advantage of it.

I loved being dressed as a girl. Every moment I spent dressed as a girl felt more real than the entire life I’d lived as a boy. The boy that I had tried to be was as fictional as Tom Sawyer.

Just after ten o’clock, I was standing in Teri’s room, dressed as a girl. I was admiring myself in Teri’s mirror as I fixed my shoulder length hair into a single braid behind my head. I was just getting started when I felt the spirit looking at me again. It didn’t bother me; my intuition told me that the spirit was more curious than hostile. Since I was dressed as a girl, I wondered if the spirit thought I was a girl.

As I wrapped a rubber band around the end of my braid, I heard a door close in the hallway again. This time, for the first time, I decided not to bother investigating. I knew I would find nothing there and I would just have to get used to sharing the house with the spirit.

Evidently, the spirit did not want to be ignored. I heard a door bang shut with enough force to rattle the walls. It scared the shit out of me! However, it was just another noise in the house.

For a moment, I looked out of Teri’s open door and down the hall with one hand on my racing heart. I thought about what was going on, and I knew that there was nobody there. The spirit was acting up again.

I turned back towards Teri’s mirror and tried to forget about the noise in the hallway. I had relaxed and was smiling into the mirror when the door banged shut again. I nearly jumped out of my own skin. I tried to ignore it, but it happened again… and again.

Finally, I walked out of Teri’s room and looked down the hall just in time to watch my own bedroom door slam with deafening loudness. My house was definitely haunted — I couldn’t explain things any other way!

Still, it was just another noise in the house. I could not keep being afraid of it. Sooner or later I would have to learn to live with it. I turned slowly around to face the mirror again.

“Kory!”

I gasped as I whipped around to face Teri’s open bedroom door. The unfamiliar girl’s voice appeared to be emanating from my room. I trembled as I stood there wondering what the hell was going on.

“Who is that?!”

I called out to the empty hallway, feeling silly, yet very afraid. The voice called my name again, spooking me.

“Kory!”

“Who the fuck is that??”

The voice called my name a third time, effectively rattling my nerves.

“Kory!”

“What?? I hear you, okay?? Stop fucking scaring me!! Jesus!!”

My hand went back to my heart. At that moment, my bedroom door swung quietly open. I knew that I would find my room empty, but I felt drawn to my room, compelled to investigate why my door had just opened itself — and who was calling my name.

Slowly and gingerly, I made my way down the hall to my room. As I approached my room, I felt that the spirit was in there, and that it was trying to apologize for scaring me. Suddenly, my fear evaporated. I stopped in the doorway of my bedroom as I turned on the overhead light and looked around the room. Everything looked normal… except for the doll leaning against the pillows on my bed.

“What the hell…?”

I had never seen it before and I had no idea how it got there.

* * * * *

“Wait, wait, wait! Time out, time out! Are you telling me that this doll materialized out of thin air?”

“I’m telling you that the spirit put it there. I didn’t see how the doll got there. I just found it on the bed.”

“So someone else could have put it there — maybe someone living?”

I chuckled.

“No, Ricki. As I explained, I was positive the house was empty — except for me, of course. I watched my family members leave and I knew they hadn’t returned because I never heard the sound of an engine approaching and I didn’t hear the front door open either. The way our house is set up, the stairs are straight down the hallway and the front door is straight from the stairs. The sound of the front door carries all the way down that hall. Besides, I always made sure the house was locked up when I dressed as a girl just to be double sure that someone wouldn’t walk into the house and see me en femme. That part was a bit paranoid, I know, but still, I did lock up that way, and I was absolutely sure that nobody else living was in the house with me.”

Ricki looked less than convinced.

“How do you know that Teri didn’t put it there before she left that night?”

“Because she had no idea how it got there either — I’m getting to that part.”

Ricki rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.”

Meg shook her head.

“Oh, Ricki!”

“What? I’m just saying!”

“Saying what, dear?”

Jena challenged Ricki.

“Yeah, we know what you’re saying,” Cathy gibed.

Ricki sighed in resignation.

“Oh, forget it! Go on.”

I smirked at Ricki.

“Very well.”

* * * * *

At first, I felt frightened by the doll that had come from… God knew where. However, I thought about it for a moment and I decided that the doll didn’t look scary to me. On the contrary, it looked beautiful — and I had the feeling that it was some kind of peace offering.

I began talking to the spirit.

“Okaaaaay, I’m getting the feeling that you’re trying to apologize for scaring me, so... I forgive you.”

For a few seconds, my overhead light got brighter than I had ever seen it. I giggled at the playful nature of the spirit as something occurred to me.

“Hey, maybe you’re trying to get my attention for a reason! Are you asking for help with something?”

I felt the presence disappear. For a few moments, I stood in my bedroom doorway, wondering what would happen next. While I waited to find out, I walked over to my bed and sat down next to the doll. I couldn’t resist taking a closer look at her and when I did, I noticed that her hair was done in a single braid behind her head — just like mine! I felt a shiver creep up and down my back.

* * * * *

“Stop right there! Are you telling me that this, this, this spirit dropped the doll on your bed, fixed its hair like yours, and juiced up your lights on its way out of the room?”

I flash an amused grin at Ricki.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m telling you. Anyway, as I was saying…”

* * * * *

I examined the doll very closely and admired all of the realistic details. It was twelve inches tall and exquisite. It had pretty blue eyes that appeared to be made of glass and long, silky, blonde hair. It wore a purple dress with a beautiful Asian print. On her little feet were purple Mary Janes that appeared to be made from the same fabric and pattern as the dress. I wished that I had an outfit like that!

I had a habit of talking to myself but in this case it was the doll I began speaking to.

“Wow, you are so beautiful! I love your pretty clothes! I bet someone loves you an awful lot! I wonder what your name is -- and how in the hell you got here!”

For a second or two, I half expected the doll to open her mouth and introduce herself — but nothing happened. I giggled at the thought — and noticed that I was feeling relaxed. I slipped my sister’s shoes off and lay down on my bed, carefully smoothing my dress behind me and crossing my ankles.

“I don’t suppose you have a nametag or anything?”

I carefully examined the doll, but I couldn’t find a nametag anywhere. I rested the doll on my stomach for a few seconds.

“Well, it looks like we’ll have to pick a name for you. What should we call you?”

I smiled at the pretty doll as I noticed that she somehow made me feel warm and protected.

“I know! We’ll call you Joy. Welcome to my room, Joy! My room is your room.”

I giggled at the beautiful doll as I brought her into my arms.

“What’s that, Joy? You’re right; my room is way too boyish… eeww. No wonder I usually hang out in Teri’s room!”

I giggled.

“Can you keep a secret, Joy?”

I paused.

“I bet you’re good about keeping secrets. That’s a very good thing because I want to tell you mine.”

I took a deep breath. For Christ sake, I felt nervous just saying it to a freaking doll.

“I really am a girl, Joy. I’ve been confused about that for a few years, but I think I know now. I think I know it because… well… because I love you, Joy, and I want to keep you. I know I’m a girl! I don’t care what anybody else says and I don’t care what my body looks like — er, well, yes I do.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I want it to be a girl’s body. My body may look like a boy’s body — eeww — but that doesn’t mean shit. I am a girl. If you didn’t know me and you were talking to me on the phone, just asking me questions about myself, you would swear that you were talking to a girl. Anyway, that’s my big secret. Nobody knows except you, so don’t tell anyone!”

I paused.

“What’s that?”

Another pause.

“That’s a good question, Joy. No, I haven’t picked out a girl name for myself yet — but I really should! Hmm… what should we call me? Let’s see.”

I walked over to my computer, sat down in my chair, and sat Joy on my desk next to my monitor. I went onto the Internet and looked for names that mean joy or happiness. After half an hour of searching, I chose the name Letitia. I decided to go by Letti for short.

I felt a bit drowsy and, satisfied with my new name, I lay down on my bed to rest my eyelids -- but I fell asleep. An hour later, according to the clock on my nightstand, I was awakened by the sound of my sister giggling at me. She had found me asleep on my bed, cuddling a beautiful doll, and wearing girls’ clothes complete with tights and a braid in my hair. I was wearing her sleeveless, knee-length denim dress over her emerald green, long-sleeved cotton shirt, black nylon tights, and black, leather Mary Janes.

I let out a ragged gasp, suddenly aware that my sister had just found me dressed as a girl with a doll in my arms. I glanced sheepishly at my appearance.

“Uh… hi, Teri.”

“Hi, Kory. Sorry if I startled you.”

“That’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

Teri paused for a moment.

“Kory, why are you dressed like a girl?”

I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. For a couple of moments, I looked at Joy, wanting to feel protected again. Alas, she could only help me dispel my fear of bumps in the house. She could not protect me from having to explain to Teri why I was dressed as a girl.

“Well… I don’t know how to say this, but… I like to dress as a girl. I really like it. I wish I could dress as a girl forever. I feel better this way. A lot better.”

Teri looked at me for a moment.

“Do you feel that you’re a girl in the body of a boy?”

I nodded.

“Yes, I do. I really do. I am a girl, Teri.”

Teri looked very uncomfortable. She folded her arms tightly across her chest.

“Wow! Okay… um…”

She scratched her head for a moment.

“You do, um… you do understand that there’s more to being a girl than dressing like one, right?”

I looked up at Teri.

“Of course! It’s not just the clothes. Not at all.”

I looked back at Joy.

“I mean, look at this doll. She makes me feel safe and I love her. She’s beautiful and I want to keep her. I named her Joy and I even spent a few minutes talking to her earlier.”

Teri smirked at me.

“I know. I got home an hour ago.”

I stared at her.

“You did?”

She nodded.

“Yup.”

“You heard what I said?”

I looked at my sister nervously.

“Actually no. I heard the sound of your voice, but I couldn’t make out the words. I was downstairs and I waited until you stopped chatting before I came up the stairs.”

I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed.

“Shit! I have got to be more careful! God, next time it could be Mom or Dad and then what?”

“Well, let’s worry about that bridge when it’s time to cross it.”

“Yeah, let’s!”

I chuckled and Teri sat beside me, her arms still folded but relaxed.

“You know, Kory–“

“Please call me Letti while I’m dressed as a girl. I just, um… I just like it better.”

Teri paused for a moment.

“Oh, okay. Letti it is, then.”

I smiled at Teri.

“Anyway, Letti, I got a pretty strong feeling that you really loved it when you let me dress you up as a ballerina for Halloween a couple of months back in that lavender leotard, pink tights, and lavender ballet skirt. Almost everyone thought you were a girl, too, and you seemed to really like being treated as a girl. You never once corrected anyone about that. In fact, the only time you were annoyed was when that kid asked you if you were a boy. You looked like you wanted to slap him!”

Teri and I giggled at the memory.

“You also loved having your hair in a bun — not to mention that your hair is long enough for a bun to begin with. Anyway, at first, I thought you were just having fun at Halloween, doing something completely different and fooling people in the process. But then you started talking about dressing up in girl’s street clothes for next Halloween and I started to wonder about you.”

I nodded.

“Well, you were right to wonder, but…”

I looked down at my dress, my tights, and my doll. Who the hell was I kidding?

“But?”

“Well, I was going to say that I’m not a hundred percent positive, and I guess I’m not, but… I mean, look at me, Teri. Do I look like a boy to you?”

“Not by a long shot!”

We giggled.

“Exactly!”

“Well, okay, Kory — I mean, Letti. Sorry! Um… you can stay dressed as a girl for a while longer, if you want to. Just, um, put my clothes away when you’re done, okay?”

“Okay! Thanks, Teri! So you’re really not going to tell Mom and Dad?”

Teri thought for a moment.

“No. I see no reason to do that.”

I relaxed.

“Thanks, Teri. You’re the best.”

“Oh, well, you know… you should be the one to tell them… when you’re ready to tell them, that is.”

“Yeah, probably.”

That seemed to be settled — at least for the time being. Teri’s eyebrows rose as she noticed Joy’s hair.

“Letti, did you fix Joy’s hair like that?”

“No. Her hair was braided like that when I found her — and I found her after I had already fixed my hair.”

“Wow. Where did you find her? She really is beautiful.”

I looked down at Joy for a moment.

“Well, I know how this is going to sound, but…”

I told her about the door slamming, the spirit, the girl’s voice calling my name, and the doll’s mysterious appearance on my bed.

“A lot of weird things have happened to me in this house, Teri. Tonight wasn’t the first time I’ve heard doors closing while home alone. Actually that happens every single time I’m home alone. It just escalated tonight because I stopped checking the house and she didn’t want me to ignore her. I think that the spirit is a girl — or was -- and I think she wants me to help her with something. Don’t ask me what.”

“Wow. How do you know she was a girl?”

“Well, her voice sounded like a girl’s voice to me, and she gave me this doll, so I’m guessing she’s female — or at least, she was in life. I think she’s trying to be friends because she thinks I’m a girl. I’m always dressed as a girl when I’m home alone. Anyway, she just feels like a girl to me. I don’t know why, really; call it intuition, I guess.”

“Well, you’ll be glad to hear that I believe you. I’ve had some weird things happen, too.”

I looked up at her.

“You have?”

“Yeah. I’ve been noticing things disappearing and reappearing. Just the other night I took off my rings while I was washing my face and after I finished, I noticed that my favorite ring was missing. I thought it had fallen down the drain and I got really upset about it. I checked the floor just in case I was wrong but it was nowhere. When I stood up again, my ring was sitting right where I’d left it. That was scary because I had locked my bedroom door, so nobody could have gotten in and moved it.”

“Wow. That is creepy.”

“Yeah, and a couple of weeks ago, I got out my black denim skirt that has the fancy embroidery on the back pockets. I was planning to wear it. I went back to my closet to pick out a top and when I turned around, my skirt was gone. I closed my eyes for a moment to try to wrap my head around what was going on, and when I opened my eyes, I saw my skirt lying on the bed, again, right where I had left it. My door was locked that time, too, since I was about to change.”

I looked at her wide-eyed.

“Okay, that’s pretty unnerving.”

“Yeah. My door was locked both times, so I guess…”

Teri looked around my room.

“I guess it was you… whoever you are… and since you seem interested in my jewelry and my clothes I think you probably are a girl… or you were. I wonder what happened to you?”

* * * * *

Ricki stared at me astounded. She said nothing. Her mouth opened a couple of times, but nothing came out.

“Having trouble explaining this stuff away, Ricki?”

“If you’re sure you’re not wasted on something, yes.”

We giggled at her and she rolled her eyes.

“Whatever. Keep going!”

* * * * *

On the following weekend, I was home alone dressed as a girl. My parents were again out on business for the weekend and Teri was sleeping over at a friend’s house this time. My parents were a bit reluctant to leave me at home alone overnight since I was twelve, but I managed to talk them into it. Fortunately, I never had been what you might call a problem child. I never got into any trouble. That was probably why they let me stay in the house alone.

As I stood in front of Teri’s mirror, wearing a red skirt, black tights, the same Mary Janes, and a black turtleneck, I felt the spirit arrive in the room. I had to admit to myself that I was starting to like our spirit — as long as she continued to refrain from scaring me silly. I smiled as I began to talk to the spirit.

“Hi there, whoever you are. I really wish I knew your name. You know mine! Besides, I don’t want to just call you ‘you’ or ‘the spirit’, you know?”

I giggled at myself.

“That would be kind of impersonal. Well, anyway, thank you for the doll you left on my bed. She’s really beautiful! I named her Joy. I hope that’s okay.”

Right then the spirit made a new sound. It was the sound of a music box on Teri’s dresser that featured a figurine of a girl dancing with joy — which was now dancing with joy. I giggled.

“I take it you approve! I’m glad to know that.”

The music box played for a few more seconds and went quiet. I was enjoying talking with the ghost and I decided that as long as we were going to live in our house together, we might as well try to be friends. I believed that friendship began with honesty. So, I sat down on Teri’s bed, smoothing my skirt behind me, and crossed my knees. I took a deep breath and…

“Hey, um… if we’re going to be friends, then… there’s something I want to tell you about me…”

I stopped. What if this spirit-girl was bigoted and hateful in life? Maybe she would start haranguing me. I thought about Joy and I realized that she couldn’t be more than a few years old. She was in pristine shape; and did not look antique by any stretch of the imagination. If Joy had belonged to the spirit-girl, then the spirit-girl couldn’t have been much older than I was, if at all. Perhaps she wouldn’t be prejudiced. Besides, she might already know about me. Who knew how long she had been lurking in the house — or what she had seen? I decided to risk it. I took another deep breath and glanced up at the ceiling.

“Here’s the thing. I am a girl — but I got stuck with the body of a boy. My name is Letitia when I’m dressed as a girl. Letti for short.”

I looked down at my hands and watched my fingers toy with each other.

“I hope that doesn’t bother you.”

All at once, the music box came to life again. I felt relieved as I giggled and covered my mouth with one hand.

“It’s so cute when you do that!”

The music box went quiet again.

“Hey, Spirit, um… are you a girl? I’m getting the feeling you are… or were. I’m also getting the feeling that you need my help with something. Do you?”

The answer would have to wait. The smoke alarm in my room suddenly blared.

“Oh shit!”

I ran to my room to see what was going on -- and found nothing wrong. I grabbed a notebook from my desk and waved it back and forth under the smoke alarm — though I smelled no smoke -- until the noise stopped. For a moment, I stood there looking at the stupid thing wondering what the hell had set it off.

“Did you make my smoke alarm go off, whoever you are?”

I looked around the room, but the spirit had left. I wondered if the damned smoke alarm was malfunctioning.

For a short while, the spirit seemed to lay low, but on the next Saturday morning, she was back. My family and I had a nice breakfast of omelets and orange juice that morning. I was really struggling to be a boy in front of my parents, and of course, I hated every second of it. After we finished eating and cleaned up after ourselves, I went upstairs to my room to talk to Joy for a while. That had become a habit and it always made me feel better.

I was extremely eager to dress myself as a girl again. I couldn’t wait for my family to leave the house so I could remove the ridiculous boy clothes I was wearing. I stood at my dresser and looked into my mirror as I removed the rubber band from my hair and brushed it a bit.

I looked down at my dresser to put down my brush and pick up a couple of rubber bands so that I could put my hair in twin ponytails. When I looked back at the mirror, I saw something in the mirror that almost made my heart stop. In the reflection, there was a strange man facing a girl who looked slightly younger than me — and she was backing away from him in fear! He was large and menacing. I gasped and whirled around only to find my room empty. Slowly, I turned back to the mirror to check the reflection. They were gone.

Later that day, my family members were out and were not due home until late that night. The first thing I did, after making sure they had all left, was to dress myself as a girl again. I picked out a purple knee-length jumper dress and lavender short-sleeve, cotton top underneath. I decided to complete the outfit with the white tights and black Mary Janes I had worn the night I found Joy lying on my bed. I wasn’t sure if a natal girl would wear that particular outfit in the middle of winter, but I wasn’t going anywhere, so I didn’t care.

I decided to turn my twin ponytails into twin braids, and as I finished the first one, I felt the spirit in the room. I smiled when I felt her return. As I finished braiding my hair, I found myself wondering — again -- if the spirit really had been a girl in life.

“Hi, Spirit. Last time I talked to you my smoke alarm went off so you didn’t get to answer my questions. But I still want to know. Were you a girl in life? Do you need my help with something?”

I paused for a moment.

“I guess you don’t talk.”

As soon as I said that, I felt the spirit leave. Shrugging indifferently, I went downstairs and I had dinner by myself. I made myself some simple but zesty spaghetti sauce, boiled up some noodles and enjoyed my creation.

Afterwards, I decided to practice using makeup. I was happily enjoying myself as I worked. Before long, I felt the spirit enter the room.

“Hi Spirit! Hey, I’ve been trying to ask you. Were you a girl?”

Nothing.

“Do you need my help with something?”

I felt the spirit leave the room.

“Damn! Oh well. So much for that!”

I looked around the room, but I didn’t feel the spirit in it.

After I finished my makeover, I went back to my room to talk to Joy.

“Hi, Joy. I wonder what the hell that spirit needs help with — if anything!”

My chat with Joy was interrupted by the sound of my smoke alarm going off — again. I sat bolt upright on my bed, instinctively holding Joy close to me, and sniffed the air. I didn’t smell any damned smoke.

“Fucking smoke alarm!”

I put Joy carefully back on the bed as I got up. With exasperation, I grabbed my notebook and waved it at the smoke alarm again until it shut up. Was the spirit-girl making it go off? I stared at the smoke alarm, wondering if I should throw it out.

“What the hell is wrong with that thing? Ugh!”

I looked at Joy and giggled.

During the following week, I didn’t get a chance to dress as a girl and I could hardly wait for Saturday to come. On that Saturday, my family was out again. My parents were away on business and Teri had a great social life — which I envied tremendously.

I dressed myself in the denim skirt that the spirit-girl had “borrowed” from Teri, along with a purple top, off-white tights, and my favorite Mary Janes. I looked in the mirror and thought about how I wanted to do my hair. I decided to use a couple of small “hair claws” to hold back my hair on both sides.

The day was rather uneventful, at least until dinnertime. I was making myself my favorite simple spaghetti recipe and I was watching the tail end of the evening news while I waited for something else to come on. At the end of the newscast was a brief story about a girl named Lexy Larkin who had gone missing two years earlier — two years ago on that same night!

The story described where Lexy was last seen and informed the viewer that she was last wearing a pink t-shirt with a darker shade of pink around the edges and a knee-length skirt that matched the darker pink. It also listed her height and weight, and said she had blue eyes and blond hair. A photo of Lexy Larkin was displayed on the screen — a photo of the girl whose reflection I had mysteriously seen in my mirror. She was last seen on February 21st, 2002 leaving her school alone to walk home. She had mentioned to her friends that she was thinking about running away.

I was thoroughly disheartened that such a pretty girl had gone missing. I turned the channel to watch something else while I ate my dinner, something I only did when home alone, but my mind seemed not to want to let go of thoughts of Lexy. I wondered if the spirit-girl in my house had been friends with Lexy — or sisters -- and wanted me to help find her.

When I finished eating I cleaned up after myself. I was washing out the skillet I had used when I felt the spirit enter the room. Her presence felt stronger than it had before. I got the feeling that she was watching me.

Carefully, I put down the skillet. Slowly, I turned around… stopped… and stared. I saw a pretty girl about two years younger than me standing in the kitchen door and smiling at me. I felt immediately nervous that this girl had seen me dressed as a girl. I hoped that she couldn’t tell I was biologically male — and I hoped that the spirit-girl wouldn’t freak her out. I had just felt the spirit-girl enter the room and this poor girl had walked in on it! I glanced around the room and looked back at the girl.

“Oh, hi there! I didn’t hear you come in! My name is Letitia, but you can call me Letti. My family and I moved here six months ago. What’s your name?”

The girl was silent, but she was still smiling at me.

“Not much of a talker, huh?”

I smiled at her. The spirit-girl seemed to be keeping a low profile. That was good!

“Hey, you look familiar. Where have I seen you?”

She didn’t answer. Suddenly, I realized that she was wearing the same outfit as the girl I had just seen on the news and had blue eyes as well as blond hair. I took a couple of steps toward her to get a closer look at her face -- and I recognized her from the story on the news! My mouth opened in shock.

“Lexy? Are you Lexy?”

Lexy nodded at me and I gasped. The girl who had just been on the news was standing in my kitchen door!

“Oh my God, you’re back! Lexy, what happened to you?”

She was still smiling as she slowly disappeared before my eyes, giving me another good shock. As I stood there dumbly, processing what I had just experienced, my brain began to connect dots. I had felt the spirit in the room, stronger than usual, and I had just seen the ghost of Lexy Larkin. The spirit in my house was Lexy Larkin!

A horrible realization entered my mind. Lexy was a ghost! If Lexy was a ghost, then Lexy was dead! I gasped and momentarily covered my mouth with both hands.

“Oh, my God. You didn’t run away, did you?”

I needed to sit down and I dropped into a kitchen chair.

* * * * *

“So you saw Lexy’s ghost?”

“Yes, I did. It was really strange seeing a girl who appeared real and solid fade into thin air like that.”

Ricki had an expression on her face that betrayed inner conflict.

“You’re sure you weren’t hallucinating?”

“Yes, I’m absolutely sure.”

“You’re sure your doors were locked?”

“Absolutely.”

“You’re sure you’re not wasted on something?”

I chuckled.

“Absolutely.”

“Well, wait a minute. If you could feel this ghost in the room with you, why didn’t you know right away that the girl you were looking at was your ghost?”

“She looked so real. I just didn’t connect feeling the presence of the spirit with the girl standing in my kitchen door. I mean, she looked so real that I thought she was a neighbor who walked in on the spirit. Does that make sense?”

Meg, Jena and Cathy quietly nodded at me, but Ricki had to think for a moment.

“Yeah, I think so.”

Ricki slowly rubbed her arms.

“So what happened next?”

* * * * *

I went upstairs to my room to talk to Joy about it. I suspected that I was too old to be talking to a doll, but life had robbed me of the girlhood I should have had. If life wasn’t going to hold back, then neither was I! I walked into my bed, scooped up Joy into my arms and hopped onto my bed.

“Guess what, Joy! I just saw a ghost downstairs! She’s the spirit that’s been in this house since we moved here! Her name is Lexy. Anyway, it felt kind of weird to meet someone who’s dead. I have to tell you, Joy, that was scary!”

I sighed.

“But now that I know she’s the spirit who lives here with us, I know she’s not dangerous. Well, anyway, I’m glad she’s here so I won’t be so alone tonight. I mean, yeah, sure, I told my family that I wanted this, and I did, but only so I could dress like a girl all weekend. I didn’t want to be alone. Anyway--”

My smoke detector went off in my ear this time.

“Shit!”

I concluded the damned thing must be malfunctioning and it was time to take the battery out.

* * * * *

“Okay, at this point, I need to describe my room to you so I can tell you what happened next.”

Ricki was now sitting with her legs drawn up to her chest and her arms around them.

“Okay. Go for it.”

“All right. The roof slants downward toward the window and meets the outside wall halfway between the floor and the ceiling. Inside my closet, the bottom part is where I hang my clothes, and on top of that is a shelf. The bottom part of the closet extends closer to the outside wall than the shelf does because of the roof. There is also a crawl space that starts at the left wall of the closet, at the floor level, and goes all the way to the outside wall. The crawl space is only three feet high, though, so it looks like there’s just a wall there unless you bend down. Are you with me?”

“Yeah.”

“Uh huh.”

“Okay. My smoke alarm is mounted on the same wall that has the closet door in it, and on the other side of where the smoke detector is mounted is the shelf. Does that make sense?”

“Yup.”

“Yeah.”

“Yes.”

“Okay. So…”

* * * * *

I took off my shoes and stood on my bed. I could reach the smoke detector comfortably that way. It seemed odd to me that the smoke detector was mounted on a wall and not the ceiling, but at the time, I just wanted to make sure it would quit going off.

Carefully, I removed the cover of the smoke alarm so that I could take out the batteries -- but there were no batteries! The smoke alarm was a fake one that had a hidden camera in it. It looked like something that one might buy from a spy shop.

I wondered whether the hidden camera was wireless — until I saw the black wire that went through a small hole behind the smoke alarm. I carefully put the smoke alarm back on the screws that it had hung from and thought for a moment about what to do next. I knew that the hidden camera had to be connected to something — otherwise there would be no point in mounting it on the wall. But where the hell was that something? I felt Lexy enter the room, so I decided to ask.

“Hey, Lexy, I found your hidden camera. It’s got to be hooked up to something right? Where do I look for it?”

Thump!

It sounded like someone bumping an elbow against a wall. I whipped my head around toward my open closet door. For a moment, I stood there staring at the closet, amazed by the latest strangeness to strike my home.

"Is that you, Lexy?"

Thump!

I got down off the bed and walked to the open closet door.

“Do that again!”

Thump!

I could tell that the sound was coming from the shelf, on the left side.

“Is it up there, on the shelf, Lexy?”

Thump!

“Okay! Let me grab my desk chair.”

My heart rate was speeding up and my skin was getting goose pimples. I put my chair in front of the closet door and stood on it to reach the left of the shelf — but there was nothing there.

“What the hell? Where is it?”

Thump!

I gasped.

“Jesus Christ!”

I was startled and almost fell off of the chair I was standing on. I giggled at myself.

“Sorry, Lexy! I know it’s you!”

Suddenly I thought of the black cable that went from the smoke alarm into the wall and paused as my brain made a connection.

“Wait, is it behind the walls?”

Thump!

“Well, how in the fuck did you get it in there? Hang on, I need more light.”

I grabbed my flashlight, went back to the closet, and shined the light against the wall where the thumps had come from.

The walls on both sides of the shelf were decorated with molding along all the edges of the walls on the sides — but there was no molding going from one side of the shelf to the other. There was a carved, wooden flower painted the same color as the molding and mounted in the center of the small walls at either end of the shelf. I found that very pretty — if a bit unusual -- and I made a mental note to keep it that way.

I knocked on the right hand wall just to hear what it sounded like. It sounded different from the thump I had heard. I knocked on the left wall to compare and I heard the same thump that Lexy had made. Since the two walls sounded different, I knew they couldn’t be built the same. I wondered if the left wall was a fake.

I decided to gently pull on the flower, but nothing happened. I pulled harder and the small wall slid toward me! I didn’t need to take it down off the shelf, since there wasn’t much up there, and I slid it against the back wall instead. I found myself looking at a small door about the size of a large chessboard.

Someone, probably Lexy, had built the fake wall to hide the little door. I opened the door to see what I would find on the other side. When I pulled the door open and shined my flashlight into the space, I saw a laptop computer!

The laptop was folded closed and a black cable was plugged into one side. The other end of the cable appeared to go through the wall right about where I had found the hidden camera. The laptop’s power cable was neatly coiled with a rubber band and left on top of the computer. Next to the power cable was a package of ten blank DVDs that were still in their shrink-wrap.

“Oh, my God, Lexy! This is what you wanted me to find, isn’t it? Lexy?”

Lexy was gone. I paused and sighed.

“Oh, well. I guess I’ll be looking around on this computer all by myself!”

I shined the flashlight into the hidden crawl space, carefully unplugged the webcam cable and pulled out the laptop, power cable and DVDs. I began talking to Lexy even though she wasn’t there.

“Well, Lexy, it’s a damned good thing you left the power cable in there with the laptop. The battery has got to be dead by now!”

I cautiously stepped down from the chair with the laptop and cable in my arms. I placed them on my bed. I took a minute to move my chair back to my desk. Then I plugged the laptop into a wall socket not far from my bed. I reclined on my bed and rested the laptop on my lap. When I folded the machine open, I found a piece of paper that had a brief note on it.

To whoever finds this — and I really hope you have found this, whoever you are:

I’m writing this note in case something happens to me. My mother’s boyfriend, Blaine Wood, is really starting to scare me. I’ve seen him hit my mother a few times and he behaves inappropriately towards me. I am afraid that he’s going to kill me. If something happens to me, you’ll know who did it. Please watch the videos on the machine and give them to the police — but please make copies for my friends and deliver them. I want them to know that I didn’t run away from them. The laptop has a DVD burner in it and I’ve left you some DVDs so you don’t have to pay for them.

Cathy Bourdonnay’s phone is 999-555-4837 and address is 49 Blakely Terrace
Jena Riley’s phone is 999-555-2431 and address is 807 Watkins Circle
Meg Thompson’s phone is 999-555-5867 and address is 3664 Jefferson Street

Please tell my friends that I love them!

Thank you very much!
Lexy Anne Larkin

February 17, 2002

I stared at the note for a few moments, my unease about what I might find in Lexy’s videos steadily mounting. I got up and put the note on my desk. Then I went back to my bed and fired up the laptop.

I was pleased to see that it still worked. The next step was to look on the hard drive for the videos that Lexy might have made. I spent a few minutes searching for the videos that I was guessing she’d recorded with the hidden camera she had rigged. There were almost thirty videos on her hard drive.

I grabbed Joy and held her close as I opened the oldest one first and played it. Lexy appeared on the screen. She was sitting on her bed.

I recognized the room she was sitting in. It was my room! Suddenly, I knew that my room had once been Lexy’s room! That gave me pause and I let it sink in for a few moments.

Judging from the angle of the shot, the camera and laptop were sitting on the bed while Lexy made her video. She wore the same pink t-shirt I’d seen her wearing in the kitchen — and on the news -- and a pair of blue jeans. Her hair was in a loose ponytail and she wore small hoop earrings. I couldn’t tell if they were clip-on or not.

“Hi! It’s me, Lexy. Okay, so I decided to start making video entries for my diary instead of written ones. I wanted to try just talking instead of writing.”

Lexy paused and looked down for a moment.

“Sometimes I need to talk but I can’t talk to anyone about it because it’s too risky. So, I’ll talk about it here.”

Lexy shrugged and sighed. She glanced away for a moment and faced the camera.

“Today I need to talk about my mother’s boyfriend. I talk about him with my friends, too, but never over the phone — at least, not here. I have to wait until I get to school because he’s over here all the time and I don’t want him to overhear me talking about him. He’s not home right now; otherwise I wouldn’t be talking about him.”

Lexy paused and glanced away again.

“Anyway, he scares me. The guy is a complete, total asshole! He’s nice to my mother but he’s nasty to me! Whenever my mother is out of earshot, he calls me names, like bitch, little cunt, and more that I’m not even going to repeat!”

Lexy took a breath.

“He thinks I’m a girl, by the way. But the truth is...”

Lexy glanced at her door for a few seconds before continuing.

“I’m transgendered. I’m a girl who was born with the body of a boy.”

I stopped the video and stared at Lexy agape. I smiled broadly.

“You’re like me, Lexy? I had no idea!”

Lexy’s hair was as long in the video as it was when I saw her standing in my kitchen door. She looked completely like a girl. I resumed the video.

Lexy paused and looked down for a moment, with her head tilted to one side.

“I should have been a girl. I really should have been a girl. That’s one of the things that’s too risky to talk about anywhere but here.”

Lexy chuckled ruefully and looked back at the camera.

“Nobody at school knows except for my close friends, of course. I have to be a boy at school. Yecch!”

Lexy crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. She followed her antics with a giggle and an exasperated breath.

“Luckily, my mother’s boyfriend leaves the house at like five in the morning and doesn’t get here from his job until around dinner time — at least, during the week -- so I always have plenty of time to go in and out of ‘Lexy mode’ before he comes around. Anyway, if he knew about me being transgendered — or if he knew about these videos -- oh my God, I don’t even want to know! He’s one of those guys who always has to prove what a big man he is. He’s all super-macho and all that bullshit. You know what I mean. Anyway, I would bet this house that he was a huge bully when he was in school! The guy’s a fucking low-life — though he manages to hide that from my mom somehow. Still, I will never understand what my mother sees in him.”

Lexy shook her head in disgust.

“Speaking of my mother, by the way, she has never been the same since Dad died in that car accident five years ago. She’s just not the same person anymore. Then, two months ago, she starts dating that asshole. Now she barely ever talks to me anymore.”

Lexy looked down and sighed again. A couple of voices sounded somewhere off the screen. Lexy gasped and looked over in panic.

“Oh, shit, they’re back! I gotta go! Oh shit!”

Lexy became a blur as she lunged toward the laptop to shut off the camera. The image wobbled a bit just before the video cut off.

“Oh God, Lexy. You poor girl.”

She was clearly very afraid of her mother’s boyfriend. I paused for a few moments as I wondered what would be in the remaining videos.

I started the next video. This time, Lexy seemed to be in better spirits. Again, she sat on her bed with the laptop ostensibly where it was in the last video.

“Hi again! It’s me!”

She gave the webcam a little wave.

“Well, my mother’s asshole is away on a business trip, thank God! I can relax for a few days at least. Mom’s been a little nicer to me since he left, too! I definitely like things better this way. I hope his plane crashes on the way back.”

Lexy giggled but then paused.

“Well, no I don’t. I wouldn’t want those other people on the plane to be hurt. I just hope he never comes back — not that there’s probably much chance of that.”

Lexy sighed wistfully.

“Anyway, today I wanted to tell you why I picked the name Lexy. I guess I don’t know why I want to, but I don’t know, I feel like documenting it, I guess. So. My mother has known that I’m transgendered for about a year. I have been moving in the direction of transitioning, though I haven’t quite started to yet. But I’m only ten so I have time before my body turns into a big ugly hairy boy. Eeww! Anyway, I’ve been dressing as a girl everywhere except school and church and a few other places like… my mom’s friend’s wedding.”

Lexy smiled ruefully.

“God, don’t get me started on that wedding. The flower girl was my age and I was soooooooo jealous of her dress — and her hair. Oh my God, I soooooooo wanted to be her!”

Lexy put one hand over her mouth and giggled.

“Anyway, when I was born, my mother and father named me Alexander. I would rather have been called Alexis.”

Lexy playfully rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, I asked my parents to start calling me Lex when I was like seven because I just liked it better than Alex or Xander or Alexander — and no it was not because I like that character Lex Luthor from Superman.”

She giggled.

“I hate that asshole! Anyway, that’s a downside, but I wanted to use Lex because it sounded boyish enough for my parents not to notice anything, but I could also pretend that it was really short for Alexis. I guess it could also be short for Alexa and probably other names. Anyway, that’s why Lex felt like more of a girl’s name than Alex or whatever — at least, it felt that way to me. So now, let me tell you how Lex turned into Lexy.”

She adjusted her position on the bed.

“My friends started calling me Lexy as a joke because of my long hair -- but I really liked being called Lexy and I asked my friends to keep calling me Lexy. When I said that, I wasn’t really thinking about what I was saying and my friends looked at me funny and so I ended up telling them about me. There wasn’t any getting around it after asking them to call me Lexy!”

Lexy giggled again.

“Anyway, they started calling me Lexy about… six months before I told my mother about me. My mother has been calling me Lexy ever since I started dressing as a girl around the house. She kept right on calling me Lexy after she started dating that shit-sack she calls a boyfriend.”

Lexy put one hand over her mouth as she glanced behind her.

“Anyway, the first time he ever saw me was when they came home without letting me know they were coming and I was in the kitchen eating a sandwich -- and I was in full Lexy mode. I was even wearing a skirt and a pair of white tights! I had just put the milk back in the fridge after getting a refill when they walked into the kitchen. I was still standing up, so Mom’s asshole saw the whole outfit, skirt, tights and all. My mom’s face turned absolutely white. Her asshole boyfriend looked at me really weirdly. His eyes got all narrow and I’m pretty sure he was silently questioning me. I swallowed as fast as I could and I politely said, ‘Hi, I’m Lexy. You must be the new boyfriend. I’m the girlfriend’s daughter.’ Well, he believed it, and after that I realized I was going to have to be a girl around him at all times. Now, that was fine with me, but I felt a lot of pressure to be absolutely convincing. But what else could I have done? He would never have gone for me being transgendered! He would kill me if he knew! That’s the real reason my mother’s face turned white. She hasn’t ever said that but obviously she doesn’t have to. So anyway, mom kept right on calling me Lexy, to keep her boyfriend from finding out about me. But I love being called Lexy. Besides, this way she’s respecting me for who I am, too.”

“Anyway, now you know why I like to be called Lexy. Okay, that’s all for now. Bye!”

Lexy waved and the video was over.

I felt so bad for Lexy having to live through everything that she had lived through. I sighed as I started the next video, hugging Joy snugly.

Lexy waved at the camera.

“Hi! I’m back! This time, I have something I want to show you! It was a birthday present from my mother. It was kind of a secret from the boyfriend. She gave it to me in front of him but he–“

Lexy glanced behind her and continued in a quieter voice.

“He doesn’t know I’m transgendered so he just thinks I’m a girl who got a beautiful present for her birthday.”

Lexy shrugged.

“Anyway…”

Lexy reached off screen and brought a doll into view.

“This is Joy! She makes me feel protected and, well, happy, so I named her Joy.”

In the midst of a great bout of déjá -vu, I paused the video as I stared at the screen agape. It was the very same doll that I found on my bed — and I had picked the same name that Lexy had picked!

“No way! Joy was yours, Lexy? Wow! I’m really honored that you seem to want me to have her!”

I thought for a second.

“You must have hidden her in the crawl space with the laptop until you brought her out and put her on my bed against my pillows.”

I looked at Joy.

“So that’s where you came from! Wow!”

I sat there for a few seconds, letting everything sink in, and resumed the video.

“Isn’t she pretty? I love her very much.”

I nodded.

“Me, too!”

I hugged Joy.

Lexy gave Joy a little kiss.

“Say hi, Joy!”

Lexy manipulated Joy’s arm to make her wave to the webcam.

“Don’t you just love this outfit that she’s wearing? Oh! It’s so beautiful. I wish I had clothes like that, I really do!”

Lexy giggled.

“Anyway, I saw Joy on a shelf at a store while Mom took me shopping for Christmas presents last year. I told my mother that I had to have her and she said maybe for my birthday. I was so bummed and I thought someone would take her home and I’d never see her again. So imagine how I felt when I got her for my birthday! Oh my God, I totally freaked out!”

Lexy giggled.

“Good thing my birthday’s in January, huh?”

Lexy smiled prettily at the camera until she paused for a moment.

“Mom’s boyfriend was irritated with me for freaking out like that. He told me to knock it off and chill out. Hmph. Prick!”

“Anyway, that’s enough about him. Let’s talk about Joy’s dress and shoes! Aren’t they just so adorable? They didn’t come with Joy. They were a separate find. I got them later, at the same store, not long after my birthday. I had a little money and I decided to spend some of it. Then I found this wonderful dress and matching shoes for Joy. Oh! I was so excited!”

“Anyway, now you know all about Joy. I guess that’s all for now. Bye!”

Lexy made Joy wave goodbye and reached for the laptop to stop the recording.

“Well, Lexy, I’m glad that I’m getting to know you -- though I wish it were under better circumstances.”

The lights in my room got unusually bright again and I giggled at Lexy.

“You are so cute, Lexy! Let’s see what’s in your next video.”

I opened up the next video and watched as Lexy described her friends. Cathy was the guarded, skeptical one. She was the practical one in the group that kept the rest of them down to earth. Jena was really nice and easy going artistic type. Meg was a very, very bright girl and it always showed. She was a brainiac but she never rubbed it in anyone’s face. Meg was also an artistic type. Lexy confided that Meg was her best friend. Lexy really did love her friends. I could see it in her face as she talked about them. I envied Joy for having such good friends!

I watched Lexy’s videos one by one and watched her tell of more bad encounters with her mother’s boyfriend. Some of the time, Lexy appeared happy enough in her videos, usually when talking about her friends or about a boy she had a crush on at school. Later in the series, Lexy began to tell of her mother being beaten by her boyfriend.

Poor Lexy!

After the video ended, I looked at my watch. It was only about eleven o’clock — and my parents weren’t home anyway — so I continued watching the videos with morbid addiction. In the next video, Lexy looked awful. She looked like she’d been crying.

“Hi again. I’m back.”

She gave a long sigh and glanced behind her. She didn’t bother waving.

“My mother went out to the grocery store today. Since it’s a weekend, the boyfriend stayed here.”

Lexy glanced behind her again.

“I went down to the kitchen to get a bottle of water and a banana and he… he… give me a sec.”

Lexy was choked up. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she opened them and continued, wiping a tear from one eye.

“He touched my face and my hair in ways he never should have.”

Lexy visibly shuddered, her voice breaking a bit.

“I think he…”

She swallowed.

“I think he might… want me… that way… you know, the way a boy wants a girl. I have been afraid of him since the second I met him. Now I am absolutely terrified of him. I think I’m going to have to lock myself in here whenever my mother isn’t here and he is.”

She glanced behind her.

“I don’t hear him coming, but I don’t even want to risk it, so this is all for today. Bye!”

She waved lethargically at the webcam and the video ended. Letti gulped.

“Oh, Lexy. You poor, poor girl. I couldn’t imagine living through that.”

I decided to watch all of Lexy’s videos. Fortunately, each one seemed shorter than the last.

Lexy seemed a bit happier in the next one, in which she described how she discovered the hidden crawl space next to the shelf. She went to pull the flower off so that she could fit a box onto the shelf and ended up pulling the fake wall away from the crawl space door. The fake smoke detector was not originally present. She had bought that at a spy shop and installed it herself. She told how she screwed the screws into the wall and then used the screwdriver to punch a small hole through the wall. She loved the hiding place and felt secure that Blaine would never find it. She heard someone coming again and ended the video.

“Wow. Nice find, Lexy! I guess you didn’t make that fake wall after all. I wonder who did! Well, let’s see the next one!”

I was down to the last three videos. Lexy looked scared in the next one.

“Hi! I’m back! Okay, this guy is really, really scaring me. I still think he wants me… you know… that way… and he’s starting to get touchy-feely. I really, really hate that and I’m really afraid he’s going to find out I’m transgendered because of it. What am I going to do? I told my mother about it but she didn’t break up with him! I don’t know why not. She won’t talk about it. He behaves around her, so maybe she just doesn’t believe me.”

Lexy sighed and glanced behind her.

“Well, it’s time to mount my hidden camera like I’ve been planning. I’ve already made a hole in the wall for the USB cable.”

The shot changed. Lexy was standing on her bed, her face close to the smoke detector. The hidden camera was now ready to use and Lexy was testing her rig.

The view was great. It was different from her earlier footage, though. The angle was different and so was the resolution of the shot. She obviously had a webcam that was separate from the hidden camera and not suitable to do the job of the hidden camera. A glance at her laptop revealed that it had a built-in camera just above the screen.

“So? How’s the view from in there? Let’s see!”

The shot changed again and Lexy was smiling at the laptop camera.

“It works great!”

Her face got serious.

“I wish I didn’t have to do this to protect myself from that… that… pervert that mom calls a boyfriend. Ugh! He’s so disgusting!”

Lexy sighed.

“Anyway, the minute he does anything in here I can keep the videos in my new hiding place and use them to blackmail him into staying away from me.”

Lexy sighed again.

“Well, that’s all for now since… well… this is all I can think about lately. I can’t even concentrate on my homework anymore and my grades are going down. Oh well. Bye!”

I sighed and shook my head as I started the penultimate video. In this one, Lexy was crying.

“Hi! I’m back.”

She sobbed.

“He beat my mom again! She had to go to the hospital and she’s going to be there for three days! I hate him! I hate him so much! I wish he was never born!”

Lexy wailed. She paused for a few moments as she regained her composure. She wiped a tear as she continued.

“I wanted to stay at the hospital tonight with my mom and not come home at all but the fucking nurse wouldn’t let me. Bitch! So, tomorrow, after school, I am only coming here long enough to pack a bag with a couple of changes of clothes. Then I am staying at Meg’s house until my mother comes home. Meg doesn’t exactly know that yet, but she’ll let me stay with her and so will her mom.”

Lexy sighed again.

“As for tonight, my door is locked and I even propped my desk chair under the knob. I hope I can sleep, but… I doubt it. Well, bye.”

Lexy sniffled and the video ended. I stared at the laptop for a few moments. I had the awful feeling that I knew what had happened to Lexy Larkin. I wondered if it would be hard to watch the last video, but I was going to make the copies of these videos and give them to Lexy’s friends just as she asked. I didn’t want to tell her friends, “I don’t know what happened to her because I couldn’t watch the last video, but here it is so that you can watch it for me.”

I took a couple of deep breaths and started the final video, nervous as hell about what I’d see. I hugged Joy tightly as the video came on. Lexy was recording through the hidden camera.

“Hi, it’s me! I just wanted to make a short entry since it’ll be my last one for three days. I heard Mom’s asshole trying my doorknob last night just like I thought he would. Fucking creep. Well, at least my hidden camera is working and I keep the fake wall in place so he doesn’t ever find my hiding place.”

Lexy shuddered.

“Anyway, I told Meg that I wanted to stay with her because I can’t stay alone in this house with that freak. She was ready and willing to have me stay with her, bless her heart. Anyway, my bag is packed and I’m ready to--”

The boyfriend knocked on Lexy’s door and she quickly glanced at the door before facing the hidden camera again.

“Oh shit!”

Lexy was very tense as she silently but quickly stepped down to the floor. The door opened before Lexy could say anything else. She turned to face the boyfriend and I could see the fear in her face.

I paused the video as I sat bolt upright.

“Holy shit, that’s the guy I saw in the mirror, Joy!”

I wondered why I saw his reflection in my mirror scaring Lexy’s reflection and causing her to back away from him. The thought nearly made my stomach turn.

“Well, now I’m scared.”

I paused for a few more moments and resumed the video.

“W-w-what do you want?”

He chuckled.

“You, of course.”

Lexy took an immediate step back and held her head away from his advancing hand.

“Don’t touch me!”

The boyfriend merely smirked.

“Now, now, let’s not get bitchy!”

Lexy took another step away from him.

“I am not being bitchy!”

“Then chill out so we can have some fun.”

“Fuck you!”

Lexy grabbed her bag and turned to run but the boyfriend grabbed at her. She dodged him and tried to flee, but she collided with her desk chair and an arm rest connected harshly with her crotch. Since she still had male equipment, she did what any male would. She doubled over and howled with pain.

“Ow, fuck! Aw, shit!”

“What the fuck is going on? You’re one of those faggot boys who dress like a girl? Oh, Jesus!”

He glared at her as he paced like an angry lion.

“Oh Christ!”

He looked sick -- until he erupted with anger just as Lexy pulled herself to her feet.

“You fucking little bitch! Come here!”

Lexy tried to run but was too late.

“Get back here, faggot!”

The boyfriend grabbed Lexy’s bag and pulled it toward him. Lexy fell backward and as she fell, her head slammed into her desk. Lexy was out cold and she lay still on the floor.

I gasped and held Joy tightly with both arms as I watched in horror.

The boyfriend panted as he briefly looked around.

“Oh fuck!”

He bent down to see if Lexy was still alive. He seemed to calm down when he spoke his next words.

“Sorry, kid.”

He held his meaty hand over Lexy’s mouth as he pinched her nostrils shut. Lexy was unconscious and couldn’t fight back.

That was when I stopped the video. I couldn’t watch the rest. I couldn’t watch Lexy die. The ending to that video wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out. I sat there on my bed clutching Joy as I began to cry. All at once I felt extremely frightened to be home alone.

“Lexy? Lexy, please, please tell me you’re here! I saw what happened to you and I’m scared to be alone now! Please be here!”

Immediately, I felt her in the room.

“Thank God! I’m so glad you’re here.”

I couldn’t stop crying for a few minutes, but Lexy’s presence felt warm and protective again. It eventually helped me to regain my composure.

“Lexy, I’m going to call the police first thing in the morning. Before I do, I’m going to make copies of these videos and give them to your friends like you wanted. I promise! In fact, I’m going to do that right now! Let me clean up my face first.”

I got up and went to my dresser where I got myself a tissue, wiped my tears, and blew my nose. I tossed the tissue in the trash and looked back at the mirror — only to see that the reflection had changed. In the reflection, Lexy was sitting on the bed, holding Joy, smiling at her and humming a tune.

“Oh my--!”

I turned around to look at the bed and found Joy where I had left her. Lexy was nowhere to be seen.

“Wait, Lexy, these things I see in my mirror — they must be some of your memories. Is that right?”

The overhead light brightened again.

“You’re going to blow out all my light bulbs, you know!”

I giggled at Lexy and the lights went back to normal.

I grabbed the DVDs, went back to my bed, put down the DVDs and picked up Joy. I fed the first blank DVD into the machine. It took thirty minutes to finish. I fed in the next one and then the third. I decided to make a couple more copies. One had all the videos on it and I intended to keep that one in case one of Lexy’s friends lost her copy — or in case the police lost the laptop. I doubted that would happen, but I wanted to make sure that asshole went to jail where he belonged. On the last DVD that I used, I copied only the videos in which Lexy was cheerful and talked about her friends and the boy she had a crush on at school. I didn’t have any friends — since being transgendered really got in the way of that -- and I felt it would help me to not feel so lonely especially if Lexy stopped visiting me after I finished carrying out her last wishes. While the machine did its magic on the last DVD, I wondered how Lexy had managed to make three good friends.

Finally, the last DVD was finished. I stopped for a moment as something occurred to me. I checked the date on the last video. It was dated February 21st, 2002 — the day she’d gone missing. I glanced at my alarm clock, which displayed the date as well as the time and saw that the date was February 21st, 2004.

“Oh my God! It’s been exactly two years since--”

Crack!

I sat bolt upright on the bed as I heard the sound. I looked out my window, which overlooked the back of the house, to try to identify the source of the sound I had just heard. I thought I had heard the sound of a twig snapping under someone’s foot -- but I didn’t see anything out there.

I sat back on my bed, clutching Joy and chuckling at my high-strung nerves.

“God, Lexy, I’m getting really jumpy--”

Crash!

It was the sound of a window breaking somewhere downstairs! Now I was terrified!

“Letti!!”

“Lexy, is that you?”

I whispered as the lights in my room went out. Oddly, enough, the lights in Teri’s room were still on.

“Letti!!”

I knew that Lexy was trying to warn me and to protect me by keeping me in the dark and out of sight. My intuition screamed at me to hide.

Being as quick and as quiet as I possibly could, I grabbed the DVDs and put them in my desk drawer. I took the laptop and power cable and put them in the crawl space at the bottom of the closet. I ran silently into Teri’s bedroom across the hall and grabbed the cordless telephone handset from its cradle. I ran back into my room, grabbed Joy and crawled into the crawl space where I’d put the laptop. I was trembling and clutching Joy as I called 911. When they answered, I tried to speak as quietly as I possibly could.

“Nine one one. What is your emergency?”

“Someone’s in my house! I need the police!”

“Okay, little girl. Try to stay calm now. What’s your address?”

“1428 Elm Street! Please hurry!”

“Okay. I’m sending the police now. Are you still in the house?”

“Yes, but I’m hidden in a crawl space.”

“Okay. Stay hidden and wait for us. We’ll be there in just a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay, I wi--”

Click.

“Hello?”

Dead silence.

“Hello??”

The phone was dead!

At least I had been able to summon help! I was glad beyond words that the police were on the way. Then I realized that it made no sense for whoever was in my house to disable the phone unless that person knew someone was home! My heart began to pound crazily as I heard footsteps come up the stairs and stop between my room and Teri’s.

“Where aaaaaare you?”

I froze. I knew that voice! It couldn’t be! It couldn’t be, but it was! It was Blaine Wood, the man who murdered Lexy Larkin! I knew that if he found me he would kill me, just like he killed Lexy! No wonder Lexy was calling my name as he arrived! My heart began hammering in my chest. I was scared to make even the quietest sound and dared not breathe.

“I know you’re home… and I know you’re alone! I’ve been watching your house.”

That sent a shiver down my spine like none other. How long had he been watching my house? What had he seen? Had he seen me standing on my desk chair and removing the laptop from its hiding place? I was more terrified than I had ever dreamed possible and I held Joy close to me with one hand on her head as I sat there and waited for the police to come, with tears silently leaking from my eyes. Meanwhile, the footsteps went to Teri’s bedroom and, judging from what I could hear, Blaine got upset about something.

“Shit!”

I heard what sounded like Blaine smacking the phone cradle off of the nightstand. I heard him stomp back out into the hall.

“You better not have called the police you little bitch!”

I heard him stomp off somewhere else upstairs. The only place he could have gone — without going downstairs -- was the master bedroom. As I sat there wondering what the hell he was doing, my phone chirped loudly in my hands. I jumped and my mind raced.

“Oh fuck! Oh God! He’s going to find me and kill me if I don’t shut this thing up!”

The cordless phone had a handset locator feature that made the handset beep so it could be found if misplaced. Blaine was using that feature to find me! He must have unplugged the phone line, but left the base unit plugged in! I frantically turned the ringer off, hoping against hope it would silence the handset locator.

I thought I was safe but the phone chirped again. The damned phone must have been designed to respond to the handset locator unless the base unit was unplugged!

“I’m going to find you, you little bitch!”

I knew he was right. Even if I removed the battery pack from the phone he would search until he found me. I had to do something! I got out of the closet, silently went to the window, opened it, put the phone on the floor below it and darted silently back to the crawl space. I sat there shaking and praying for my life. The phone chirped again and I prayed that he would think I’d jumped out the window and run. I heard footsteps enter my room.

“Shit!”

I suspected that he was trying to turn the lights on -- but the lights did not come on. Maybe Lexy was keeping them off to protect me! He must have noticed the open window then because--

“Goddamned little bitch!”

I heard him stalk over to the window. Right after his footsteps stopped, I heard an extremely chilling, horrifying scream. I knew it was Lexy trying to scare Blaine out of the house. I didn’t hear him react to that scream in any way, and he definitely didn’t say anything. I figured that he didn’t hear it. I supposed he was not the slightest bit “sensitive”. Just my luck!

Lexy turned the lights on and off for several seconds. I heard a thump against a wall — but it wasn’t Lexy’s thump because it sounded different. The lights went off and stayed off.

“Fucking wiring!”

Lexy banged the door shut as loudly as she had when she was trying to get my attention. It scared me like it always had.

“God damn door!”

I heard a few more footsteps but then they stopped. I saw a weak light coming from somewhere in my room and I realized that Blaine must have found my flashlight on my desk — and the note! Oh, my God!! I left Lexy’s note on my desk!! I was scared out of my wits as I heard the sound of Blaine picking up the note and I realized with horror that he had just learned everything about those videos! He might even know that I had watched them! He was definitely going to kill me! As I fought off panic and racked my brain for ways to defend myself, I watched as the flashlight was pointed into the closet. I saw it light up some of my clothes that were slightly swinging on their hangers. I must have brushed up against them on my way back to the crawl space! Oh shit!

“There you are!”

Blaine chuckled and that sound was the creepiest sound I had ever heard.

“I foooooound you!”

He had found me, all right! Blaine saw the laptop.

“Well, well. What have we here? I bet you saw some very interesting videos on that laptop.”

He glared at me.

“Give me the laptop!”

“I-I c-c-called the p-police! Th-they’re c-coming!”

I stammered my feeble warning. Blaine scowled at me.

“I am going to kill you. Give me the laptop now and I’ll kill you quickly. If you don’t, I’ll make it slow and painful.”

I was too petrified to move or speak. Besides, there was nowhere to go — he had me trapped!

“Give me that fucking laptop, bitch!”

I shoved it further into the crawl space — and put Joy back there with it -- but Blaine reached toward me and grabbed my ankle. I screamed as loudly as I could.

“POLICE!!!!! HELP!!!!! POLICE!!!!!”

“You’re as good as dead, you little cunt! I’m going to fucking kill you!”

He lunged for me and I kicked at him as furiously as I could. He had a firm grip on one ankle but I kept kicking with my free one. I realized, too late, that he could see up my skirt. Unfortunately, I never could hide myself very well down there.

“What the fuck?? You’re another one of those faggots! God damn it! I’m going to kill you just like I killed Lexy!”

“POLICE!!!!! POLICE!!!!!”

I kicked even harder and at some point I kicked the flashlight and caused its light bulb to blow out. The lights in my room were still out and it was nearly pitch black in the crawl space. I kept right on kicking, but he still had a good hold on my ankle and he began dragging me toward him. I heard some kind of a rustling sound. I screamed again at the very top of my lungs.

“POLICE!!!!! POLICE!!!!! PO---”

Suddenly, I felt something plastic tightly covering my face. I couldn’t breathe -- and I couldn’t get it off! I tried to rip the plastic but I couldn’t! I began frantically punching and kicking at Blaine in any way I could, but that seemed to make me get dizzy faster.

“Police! Let go of the girl NOW or we will shoot! This is your last warning!”

Blaine was so caught up in his hatred that he did not let go. I was now too dizzy to fight back and my limbs dropped to my sides.

POW!

A cop shot Blaine and he fell backwards, into my closet and against my clothes. He pulled a lot of my clothes down with him and I found myself covered with my now bloodied boy clothes. I pulled the plastic bag off of my head and lay there, still very dizzy. A few moments later, my head cleared. When it did, I began crying. I scrambled to the crawl space and retrieved Joy. I sat there crying and holding her close to me.

“It’s all right, little girl; we got the bad guy. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

I began to regain my composure, and female police officer helped me out of the closet. I could see red and blue lights flashing through my room since my lights were still out.

“You’re safe now, sweetie. I’m Officer Roberta Perkins. You can call me Bobbi.”

“I’m Letti.”

I heard more commotion downstairs as I wiped tears from my eyes.

“This is our house! You can’t keep us out! Kory!”

“Kory, where are you?”

“Mom! Dad! I’m in my room!”

I was afraid to leave the police officer’s side until my parents appeared in my bedroom doorway. As soon as I saw them, I ran to them, threw my arms around them and cried some more. They probably noticed that I was dressed as a girl and clutching a doll and wondered what that was all about. They must have decided we could talk about it later because they didn’t ask any questions. They did look at me funny, though, until they saw my tears and Blaine’s blood all over me.

“Kory, you’ve got blood on you! Are you all right?”

My mother began to thoroughly check me for injuries.

“Yeah, mom. It’s not my blood. It’s his.”

“Oh, thank God!”

My mother embraced me. I looked at my closet and my mother followed my gaze.

“Ugh! Who the hell is that?”

Officer Perkins scratched her head and looked at me.

“Do you know who that man is, Kory?”

“Yes, I do. His name is Blaine Wood and he’s the man who murdered Lexy Larkin!”

“What’s this about murdering Lexy Larkin — and who is Lexy Larkin?”

My father demanded to know what was going on. The police officer answered him.

“Lexy Larkin went missing two years ago. She used to live in this house with her mother and her mother’s boyfriend, the guy in your closet. After she went missing, we started getting reports from the neighbors about every six months that someone was attempting to break into this house or someone was already inside. Nothing was ever reported missing, so whoever it was — and it was almost certainly the dead guy — was obviously looking for something. There was a report about Lexy on the news earlier tonight.”

“I saw that!”

The officer smiled at me.

“I did, too. It was on a TV where I was taking my dinner break. Anyway, lunatics like him sometimes return to the scene of the crime — sometimes to finish what they started or find something they left behind. That’s probably why he was here tonight.”

My father seemed satisfied, but Officer Perkins was not.

“Kory, did you say that Lexy Larkin was murdered?”

I remembered the laptop and I had to tell the police about it.

“Yes, Officer. I found Lexy’s laptop in a hidden crawl space next to the shelf in the closet. She got her own murder on video two years ago tonight. It’s on her laptop and that’s what he was after. He tried to kill me for it!”

“What??”

My parents were shocked. Officer Perkins seemed to know about the laptop.

“The original missing person reports mentioned something about a missing laptop and doll. It was thought that she took them with her. Obviously not. Anyway, I’m sure that’s what he was looking for. Where is the laptop?”

“It’s in the closet. There’s another crawl space at the bottom on the left and it’s in there. The videos are on the hard drive.”

My parents were still trying to digest the fact that Blaine had attacked me.

“Kory, he tried to kill you??”

“Yeah, Mom.”

I began to choke up again.

“How did you know where to look for the laptop, little girl?”

The police officer wanted to know. I looked back and forth between her and my parents.

“Well, um… I know how this sounds, but… Lexy showed me where to look.”

I smiled nervously. At that moment, my lights turned themselves on and off a couple of times and stayed on. At the moment they stayed on we could faintly hear the sound of Lexy humming the same tune she’d been humming when I saw her reflected in my mirror. Officer Perkins’ eyebrows raised themselves. My mother took me into her arms.

“Wow. Okay. Well, sweetie, why don’t we get you changed and go down to the kitchen. We’ll have some hot cocoa. How does that sound?”

“Sounds good to me!”

“All right.”

I glanced at my bloodied closet.

“Uh, Mom?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

I gestured toward my closet.

“I don’t think I want to wear anything from that closet. Ever.”

“Hmmm, I believe you have a point there. Well, we’ll just have to dress you up in something else of Teri’s. Come on!”

I was really glad I didn’t have to go back to being a boy. I hated trying to be a boy. We went to Teri’s room, where my mother wiped the spots of blood off of my face. I changed into a clean, black denim skirt, black tights, and a purple cotton top.

Once we were done, we went downstairs to the kitchen where my father made the cocoa. We were sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying our hot cocoa and starting to relax when we heard Teri arrive home.

“Mom?? Dad?? Kory??”

“Excuse me, miss! Do you live here?”

“Yes!! What happened?? Where’s my family??”

We got up and went out to greet her.

“We’re right here, sweetheart.”

“Oh, thank God!!”

Teri ran toward us and hugged Mom and Dad. Then she hugged me.

“What the hell happened?? Why are the police here??”

“Somebody tried to kill me!”

I told my sister the grim news. She was horrified.

“What?? Why??”

I gave her an abbreviated version of things.

“I found a laptop that belonged to a girl named Lexy Larkin who lived in this house until her mother’s boyfriend killed her. She made a lot of videos in there and she even got her own murder on video. Anyway, her mother’s boyfriend was looking for the laptop because he knew that there was something incriminating on it. That’s why he tried to kill me.”

“Oh my God, Kory! I’m so glad you’re safe!”

Teri hugged me again.

“Awww! Thanks Teri! Hey, you know what, Teri? Lexy was transgendered, like me!”

I smiled, but a split second later I clamped one hand over my mouth, my eyes wide, realizing my mistake. My parents gawked at me.

“Are you transgendered, sweetie?” My mother carefully inquired.

I hesitated for a moment and nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I am.”

My mother smiled.

“Well, I guess that explains why you’ve been dressed as a girl all night — and it also explains the doll. It’s a very pretty doll — and you’re very pretty, too.”

“Thank you!”

I blushed and smiled at the compliment. I realized that it made me feel warm inside. I looked at Joy while I spoke to my parents.

“Are you freaked out?”

“Well, we’re a little bit shocked, to be honest, but we are not freaked out.”

My mother glanced at my father.

“I agree with your mother, Kory. Being transgendered is as natural as being left-handed instead of right-handed or being artistic instead of scientific.”

I smiled at my parents.

“Hey, that’s a great way to put it — and I always have been this way. I just didn’t know it clearly until I found this doll on my bed a little while ago.”

“You found it on your bed?”

“Yeah. Lexy put it out there for me. I guess you could say she had it in storage — along with her laptop. Anyway, I named her Joy and I love her -- and I’m going to keep her, too!”

We heard footsteps approaching the front door and turned around to find a girl about my age standing at our open front door and knocking on the jamb. She was about my height and had lightly curled brown hair down to her shoulders. She wore a dark purple winter coat, blue jeans, and silver colored, wire-rimmed glasses over her large blue eyes.

“Excuse me. I’m a neighbor and I saw the police cars and--”

She noticed Joy in my arms and seemed to be positively stunned at the sight. She spoke slowly, almost in a whisper.

“Where did you find that doll?”

“A friend gave it to me.”

The girl’s eyes remained riveted to Joy.

“Who?”

“Her name was Lexy Larkin.”

The girl began to look very troubled as she looked me in the eyes.

“Was? Did something happen to Lexy? Please tell me! She’s my best friend — or she was until she vanished!”

Suddenly I knew who the neighbor girl was.

“You must be Meg.”

She looked at me with great surprise — as did my family -- and slowly nodded.

“Yes, I am. How did you know my name?”

“Let’s go in the living room, okay?”

Meg nodded. We walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Teri sat down on a nearby ottoman. My parents moved to the wide living room doorway to get out of the way of the police.

“How did you know my name?”

“Lexy told me about you — and Cathy and Jena. She said you were her best friend.”

Meg’s face registered faint hope.

“You talked to Lexy?”

I looked down at Joy.

“Not exactly.”

Meg thought for a moment.

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

I looked back up at Meg. I took a breath and moved a bit closer to her.

“Lexy left behind some videos that she recorded and she talked about her friends in some of them. She thought of it as her video diary.”

Meg’s face clouded up.

“What’s your name?”

“I’m Letti,” I answered without thinking.

My parents noticed the name and looked at me with their eyebrows raised.

“Letti?”

Meg gave me a knowing look along with a weak smile. I briefly turned to my mother.

“Um, yeah, that’s… that’s another story–“

“Letti, where is Lexy? Do you know where she is? Please tell me!”

I looked at Meg sadly as I put one hand gently on her shoulder.

“Meg, I’m... I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but… Lexy is dead. Her mother’s boyfriend killed her two years ago today.”

“Oh God! Oh God, no!!”

Meg began to cry and she removed her glasses. I wrapped my arms around Meg and held her as she cried.

“I knew he killed her! I knew it! I knew it when she didn’t show up at my house that night! I just knew it!”

For a few minutes, nobody spoke. I just held Meg as she cried. Teri tiptoed to the guest bathroom to get some tissues for Meg. She came back and handed them to Meg. Meg began to wipe her eyes and Teri sat down again.

“I’m so sorry about Lexy, Meg. For what it’s worth, that filthy bastard is dead now. He came back for her laptop and he tried to kill me for it.”

Meg looked at me with horror in her eyes.

“Anyway, the police shot him because he… he had a plastic bag over my head and he wasn’t letting go even after the police ordered him to.”

My mother put one hand over her mouth in shock and my father put his arms around her, a haggard expression on his face. Meg shivered and rubbed her arms — as did Teri.

“It must have been horrible to endure that! I’m glad you’re still here.”

Meg gently rubbed my shoulder. I noticed that Meg had a question in her eyes and I sensed that she was afraid to voice it. I had a feeling I knew what was on her mind and I thought about how to answer her question without dredging up too many gory details.

“Lexy never felt a thing, Meg. She was knocked unconscious before he…”

I left it at that and I rubbed Meg’s shoulder. She slowly nodded. As she sniffled and dabbed at her eyes, Meg noticed that I was still holding Joy.

“I guess, um…” She sniffled. “I guess Lexy wants you to take care of Joy for her.”

“Yeah, I guess she does — and I will, too!”

Tears continued to leak from Meg’s eyes. I hugged her snuggly for a few seconds.

“Let me get the videos for you!”

“Okay.”

Meg nodded silently, and I gently rubbed her shoulder before I ran back to my room. I snuck out a DVD with all the videos on it, went back down to Meg, and handed her the DVD.

“Thank you, Letti. I want to help you tell Cathy and Jena about this. I know that you probably don’t want to do that by yourself. At least, I wouldn’t.”

“You’re right, I don’t either. I would love your help. That’s very considerate of you. Thank you.”

“Oh, you’re welcome. Um… why don’t we do that at my house? It’s just in the next block, and… well… it’s too disturbing here.”

I looked around my house.

“Yeah. Tell me about it. I don’t think I can ever sleep in my room again. It was Lexy’s room, you know.”

I looked down at Joy. Teri was wigged out.

“That was her bedroom?”

“Yeah.”

I looked at Teri, who visibly shuddered.

“Ooh. I couldn’t sleep in there either. I don’t blame you, Letti.”

“Me either.”

Meg gently rubbed my shoulder. My mother looked at my father.

“Erm, yes, why don’t we all spend the night at a hotel? I think it would be best.”

“Meg, let me give you my cellphone number.”

I got a post-it pad from the kitchen, jotted down my number, removed the top sheet from the pad and gave it to Meg.

“Meg, if you have trouble sleeping or just need to talk then please call me. I really don’t care what time it is — and besides, I probably won’t be sleeping very well anyway.”

Meg smiled at me warmly as I handed her the number.

“I don’t think I will either. Thank you, Letti. If I need to talk, I will call you.”

“Okay. Good.”

I smiled at her and she hugged me.

“Meg, would you like Teri and I to walk you home before we leave?”

She nodded.

“Yes, thanks.”

* * * * *

Nobody in the room spoke for a few moments.

Meg, Jena, Cathy and I were immersed in memories of Lexy and Ricki was just trying to digest what she had heard.

“So that’s how you met,” Ricki murmured.

“Yeah,” Meg confirmed. “The rest of the story is that I did call Letti that night because I needed to talk to someone and we hadn’t told Cathy and Jena yet. We talked about a lot of different things to get our minds off of Lexy for a while. We talked for hours. Letti was wonderful the whole time we were going through that. I don’t know how I would have gotten through that without her. I really don’t.”

Meg hugged me tightly and continued.

“Anyway, Letti and I talked about when to tell Cathy and Jena the news and we decided that it was best to do it sooner than later. Otherwise we would relive it all over again when we told Cathy and Jena. So, the next day I called Cathy and Jena over to my house.”

“They came over that afternoon and we told them the news and Letti gave them their DVDs. After that, we got together regularly, the four of us, to help each other cope. We got to be really good friends.”

I smiled at Meg.

“Then, about a year later, Meg asked me out on a date and I happily accepted, of course. We became an exclusive couple four months after our first date and, well, here we are.”

Meg still had her arms snugly wrapped around me.

"I love you."

She murmured into my ear.

"I love you, too."

I cooed in reply.

We kissed with great love.

For several moments we sat in silence, listening to the wind blowing outside and the crackling fire in the fireplace. It was Ricki who broke the silence.

“Well, our girls’ night is still young. Do you want to keep telling ghost stories?”

“Yeah!”

“Sure!”

Meg and I looked at each other.

“Why not?”

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Girl Problems!

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

Mature Subjects (pg15)

Publication:

7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Other Keywords:

Mention of past teasing

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

The girls just wanted to see their treasured friend again – and help her take a baby step. That’s all it was supposed to be!

This was an alternate opening to the story that I submitted for the New Year’s Resolution contest. My muse has finally revealed that this was to be a story all its own.

Disclaimers
* No characters were harmed in the making of this story.
* This story is not related to that of Lilli from my earlier story, Budding Lilli.

GIRL PROBLEMS

New Year’s Eve 1985

CHAPTER 1

I never saw it coming. The large, faux-wood-paneled, Zenith TV in the family room blared an advertisement for the latest flowery underarm deodorant for women.

Slouched on our leather couch watching the tube, I chuckled aloud, “Pfffff! You’re wasting your advertising dollars on me.”

The commercial ended, returning the broadcast to the New Year’s Eve celebrations in London, Edinburgh, and Dublin, where it was already 1986. The broadcast replayed scenes of people laughing, celebrating, and throwing confetti. Some couples, clearly in love, kissed at the stroke of midnight to welcome in the New Year.

I wish that could be Madison and me! For sure!

Just then, I was startled out of my reverie by the telephone ringing on the oak end table next to me. Another commercial came on, this time a trailer for Pretty in Pink, due out in late February. Oh! I really want to see that! I enthused. Anything written by John Hughes is hilarious! Besides, I’d rather watch a movie about a girl than some bloody war movie any day!

Reaching out with my eyes glued to the television, I groped at the phone, only to knock the beige handset out of its cradle, with a jangle of the mechanical ringer bells, at which point it slid over the edge of the table. It landed just behind the couch.

“Dylan? Hello??” Madison giggled over the phone.

Damn it!

I dove over the back to grab it, almost toppling to the cream-colored carpet below.

Whoa!!! Stupid!

“Dylan? Are you there? What are you doing??” She laughed.

Finally, with a whirling motion, I plopped back onto the seat of the couch, thrusting the headset at my right ear, the curly cord wrapped around my head. “Uh, h-hi Madison!”

I am such a doofus! I chastised myself.

“Hi! What are you doing over there?” She chided with a laugh.

“Oh, I dropped the handset behind the couch! Sorry about that!” I couldn’t help snickering. “Anyway, how are things?” I smiled, reaching up to move the cord to the other side of my head as I changed the subject.

With that, her flirting began. “Great! I’m down the street at Liv’s house with Amy and Ella. I wanted to invite you to come over and spend some time with us,” she cooed.

“Really?” I swooned. “That sounds great!”

I’d walk a mile of fresh lava barefoot to see you!

Before Madison replied, I heard Amy say something in the background that I couldn’t make out.

“That was Amy. She wants you to bring something over with you,” Madison revealed.

“No problem! What does she need?” I offered, reaching over to twirl the cord around one finger.

“Well, Amy wants to swap her necklace with one she has at home. She wants her Big Bother to bring it.” Madison giggled.

Yeah, that sounds like my sister.

“Erm, okay. Which one does she want?” I smiled.

“She wants the one with the imitation ruby in the round silver setting on the silver chain,” she specified. “Do you know the one she means?”

I think I’ve seen her wearing a pendant like that. It’s pretty, too!

“Yeah, I think know the one. Tell my Little Pisser I’ll be right over with it!” I volunteered with the gusto of a rookie firefighter.

“Thanks, Dyllie! You’re a gem!” she punned.

“You’re welcome!” I giggled, enjoying her sense of humor. “I’ll see you soon!”

“See you soon,” she enthused.

Hanging up the phone, I got up to shut off the television. Eager to see Madison again, I beelined toward Amy’s room to find the necklace that she had requested. It was right on her tallboy dresser, making it a short search. With the necklace in hand, I was off to Liv’s.

CHAPTER 2

Liv’s house was just a couple of blocks to the west, the walk only taking a few minutes. While the street was winding down from evening rush hour, the sidewalk proved to be deserted. The home of Olivia Sutcliffe was a dignified, three-storey, Edwardian with stucco walls built in 1905. It was painted a warm tan and rested in the middle of the block, touching its neighbors. At that size, its immediate proximity to the sidewalk made it appear to tower overhead. A wrought iron gate, painted white, secured the recessed front porch... when they remembered to close and lock it, anyway. Tonight, it was ajar, perhaps in anticipation of my arrival.

That was nice of them, but they really should keep it locked and secure to be safe. What’s the point of having a security gate in a big city if you’re not going to use it!

As I stepped through the gate and onto the small porch, Olivia’s older sister emerged from the front door right in front of me, looking ready for a date.

“Hey, Chloe! You look great!” I greeted, stepping to one side to let her pass.

“Thanks, Dylan!” She smiled. “Go on in. Liv’s up in her room with the rest of her coven. See ya!” She waved, with a chortle and a smile. Snickering at Chloe’s nickname for her sister’s cabal I shook my head and stepped inside, closing the front door. Meanwhile, Chloe locked the gate behind me, jangling her keys and muttering about her family leaving it open.

* * * * *

The voices of Olivia’s parents wafted out of the kitchen while giggling sounded from her bedroom. At the top of the hardwood stairs, I followed the laughter to a walnut-varnished oak door, set into an almond-painted wall, with a dried bouquet hung on it. After I knocked, the door was opened without delay, revealing four girls occupying a bedroom decorated in floral patterns and shades. All were a year younger than me, dolled up in an array of dresses and hosiery, looking ready for a night out.

“Hey, Dyllie!” Madison beamed.

“Did you bring it?” Amy enthused. Flashing an impish smile, I unzipped my jacket and threw it open to display the jewelry around my neck. They laughed, but as it would turn out, not for the reasons that I imagined.

Spectating my antics, Ella shut the door and leaned upon it, her head tilted back as though monitoring for eavesdroppers. That was what brought on my first inkling that this was not to be an ordinary visit.

“Erm... gee, girls... what’s going on?” I sputtered, my eyes darting between them, my hands wringing themselves.

Madison stepped forward to explain. “Remember Lily?” she ventured.

“Lily??” I blurted. “W-well, yeah, of course, but... w-what about her? I mean... she hasn’t been around in... ages.” I babbled.

“We know – and that’s the problem! We miss her a lot.” Madison continued, her smile fading. I had the feeling that Madison missed her more than the others. Her blue eyes made a valiant but futile effort to hide an inner ache.

“Y-you do?” I uttered.

“Yeah!” came the chorus from all of them.

“We really want to see her again – even if it’s only one more time!” Madison declared with a sigh.

“Y-you do?” I stammered. “B-but... now? Here??”

“Yeah!” they cheered.

“She should have been back a long time ago!” Amy asserted.

“Yeah, she really should have,” Madison agreed, nodding and smiling.

“B-but aren’t you on your way out to that New Year’s Eve dance at your school?” I double-checked.

“Well, yeah, but it doesn’t start until eight. We got ready early because we were really hoping to see Lily again.” Amy smiled with obvious hope, her blue eyes glistening. A glance at Madison showed that she wore the same expression with a much stronger intensity. Wondering if there would be enough time for Lily to visit, I checked the twin-bell alarm clock on Liv’s nightstand. Its hands told me that it was just after 6:30 PM.

There is enough time for a decent visit. I’d rather that Lily didn’t come back at all, but... I can tell how much Madison misses her. I can see the pain in her eyes.

“Well...” My resolve collapsed like a house of cards in an earthquake under the sad, puppy eyes in the faces of Madison and Amy. “...if Lily really means that much to you... then... I-I guess I wouldn’t mind seeing her one more time.” I trailed off with a blush.

They gave a loud cheer.

“Hey, hey, keep it quiet!” I shushed. “I don’t want the parents coming up here if I’m doing this!” I fretted.

“Sorry! We’re just so excited.” Madison mollified, one electric hand on my shoulder, her eyes sparkling.

“It’s okay. So... erm... what’s Lily wearing tonight?” I inquired.

“We’ll show you!” Madison beamed.

With that, a flurry of activity began. Liv opened her closet door, shoved some clothes to one side along the closet rod, and unzipped a garment bag hanging next to them. She pulled out a burgundy dress, which she transferred to a hook mounted to the inside of the closet door. Amy plunked a pair of shoes beneath it and Madison got out a small Macy*s shopping bag, which she placed on the bed. She extracted a black, nylon bra and panty set and two pairs of L’Eggs Sheer Energy suntan pantyhose, which she laid on the bed before putting away the duffle bag.

“These are gifts to help Lily come back so that we can see her again.” Madison smiled. “Luckily for us, I won some money in a raffle during our school’s Halloween party... and it was a joy to spend some of it on you.” She touched my cheek.

“Wow. Erm... th-thank you... I think.” I faltered, my two minds wrestling one another. My heart ached, knowing that Madison wanted to see Lily again enough to spend some of her money on making that happen... and yet my mouth was dry as Lily’s last visit had not ended well. “Let’s get started, I guess.” I shrugged.

From there, it was just as I remembered. Madison grabbed a spray bottle, dampening my shoulder-length, medium brown hair before she blow-dried it and finished it off by adding a burgundy, velvet headband, and a few good puffs of hair spray. That surprised me, but I let it go, figuring that it was nothing I couldn’t wash out later. While Madison did all of that, Liv and Ella spent the time filing and polishing my nails – all twenty of them - in a shade of burgundy that matched the dress and headband. Even with their short, boyish cut, my nails still looked as though they belonged on a girl.

Done with my hair, Madison stepped aside to allow Amy to do my makeup. She applied a touch of taupe eyeshadow and lip gloss. A dab of Mascara and eyeliner completed the look. Amy topped it off with a pair of magnetic, imitation ruby studs.

As they finished, Madison marveled at what she saw. “Hello, Lily!” She uttered in a breathy voice, unable to hold back her smile. “Y-you look more beautiful than I remember!”

With that, I was in the role of Lily full stop, including the feminine voice I had used during her visits, disturbed by the ease with which it had all come back to me.

If only my voice had cracked! It would have ruined it for them and I wouldn’t be doing this!

“Thanks. I-I guess I can admit that it feels good to be back,” I beamed at Madison, watching her swoon.

Not that it matters, because I shouldn’t be doing this!

“Good! We missed you, Lily!” Madison hugged me and I embraced her in return, knowing an opportunity for closeness when I saw one!

“Yeah, we sure did! Now please take off those ridiculous boy clothes!” Amy insisted, crinkling her nose. “No sister of mine should be dressed like that!”

“Okay,” I tittered, glacing at my rubgy shirt, jeans, and ratty Nikes.

With that, the girls stepped out of Olivia’s room, closing the door behind them. From the sound of it, they moved into Chloe’s room across the hall. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but they spoke in excited tones. They really did value Lily! As for how I felt about it, I was becoming more comfortable being Lily again, but I struggled to believe that this was a good idea.

CHAPTER 3

Liv’s clock read seven o’clock as I began to dress myself in the feminine finery I had been provided. With my mind free to wander, I couldn’t distract it from the reason that Lily had ceased to visit even though she had been wholesome fun until then.

* * * * *

It was in the fall of 1983 that her visits began to take on a distinct taboo quality. On Halloween night, while out trick-or-treating with Amy, Liv, Madison, and Ella, I ran into two of the boys from my school, a pair of brothers who lived half a mile east of our house. The older one was in my class.

We had brought Lily to life again, but she had dressed up as Belle, from Beauty and the Beast. I wore a version of Belle’s yellow ball gown that was calf length. Madison had done my own long hair roughly like Belle’s. Ella had produced a pair of gold, sparkly, flat shoes, and they had coaxed me to complete the look with a white bolero jacket to keep me warm, even though Belle hadn’t worn one. I had gone as far as wearing panties, training bra, slip, and even white, nylon tights. We had put a lot of effort into the costume, finishing me off with clip-on earrings, and I was convincing. I had looked forward to trick-or-treating as Lily!

That was how I learned that I hate clip-on earrings... and that beauty sometimes comes with pain. In fact, clip-on earrings were the first kind of “girl problem” that I had experienced!

As we trick-or-treated, we made our way in the direction of my schoolmates’ home, planning to turn in another direction before we got too close. Alas, there was one thing we hadn’t taken into consideration. The boys had been trick-or-treating in the opposite direction, toward my house. They not only saw me but recognized me. The teasing began right away.

I had been excited to let Lily out of the house for the first time and they had spoiled it. My friends stood up for me, which scared the boys away, but they continued teasing me at my all-boys school, where my friends couldn’t defend me. Of course, when spreading the gossip, they made sure to mention that I had worn white tights. That had made it too dangerous for Lily to visit any longer lest the word should leak out about any further appearances. After that, I chose male costumes for Halloween. I was Indiana Jones on Halloween 1984 and Han Solo on Halloween 1985. As for Lily, she hadn’t been seen again since Halloween 1983.

* * * * *

Having finished my transformation into Lily, I wanted to see myself in Liv’s free-standing, oval, full-length mirror, before the others saw me... but I hesitated. I knew that I was going to like what I saw... as I liked what I was wearing... and I knew that I wasn’t going to want to banish Lily again.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped before the wood-framed mirror to have a look. There, in the reflection, was a girl in a velvet, burgundy dress with a built-in slip, a form-fitting bodice, a loose skirt, three-quarter sleeves, and a hem two inches above the knees. She wore suntan pantyhose and her shoes were burgundy, velvet pumps with one-inch (2.5 cm), French heels, a perfect match for her dress and headband. The padded bra gave her a feminine bustline.

Unable to resist, I took a few moments to smile at her and admire the view. “Welcome back, Lily!” I murmured. The memories of her earlier visits came flooding back and I reflected on how much fun I’d had with my clique of girl friends, and on the way that I had felt closer to them during Lily’s visits than at any other time before or since. Sighing with nostalgia, I realized that my prediction had been spot-on. I loved what I saw and I didn’t want to banish Lily again.

What am I supposed to do about that? Damn it, if only I could believe that the rest of the world would accept her... but fat chance of that!

Turning away from the wistful expression looking back at me in the mirror, I stepped over to the bedroom door to reintroduce my girl friends to Lily, eager to see Madison’s face.

CHAPTER 4

I cracked the door far enough to make sure that I could still hear Olivia’s parents chatting downstairs. With a furtive check of the hallway, I pulled the door wide and stole over to Chloe’s closed bedroom door. As I approached, I could still hear the girls’ excited conversation. After a timid pause, I knocked. Ella opened the door right away, making it obvious that she had been standing guard again.

“Hi, Lily!” she exclaimed, her green eyes twinkling.

“Lily!! Let me see you!” Madison pushed past Ella, making us giggle.

“Shhhhh!” I blurted with a face full of raw nerve and a glance toward the stairs. “I don’t want Liv’s parents coming up here, remember?”

“Sorry!” She chuckled, throwing her arms around me with a squeeze that I reciprocated in full. “It’s been so long! I’ve missed you – and you look better than ever!” With that, she kissed me, square on the lips.

Wow!

“Madison! Don’t mess up her makeup!” Amy scolded in playful indignation. “A sister’s work is never done! Come on, you!” She rolled her eyes, unable to conceal her excitement as she grabbed my hand and tugged me back into Liv’s room with the others following like an entourage.

Suddenly, something was clear to me. When Lily visits, Amy has a sister for a while – and it’s obvious how much she’s been missing that.

* * * * *

Ella closed the door behind the rest of us and resumed her position leaning against it. Amy stood me before the full-length mirror, perhaps so I could watch what she did. She grabbed a box of tissues from Liv’s tallboy dresser and used one to remove the smears before repairing the damage.

“There! Good as new!” As she scrutinized her handiwork, Amy groped behind her for a place to put the tissue box. When her hand knocked against the nightstand, she plunked the tissue box upon it... right in front of the clock.

“Erm, thanks, I guess?” I chuckled.

“How does it feel to be back, Lily?” Madison was dying to know as she embraced me from behind and gazed at my reflection.

“Well... it feels good. I like what I see and... I don’t want Lily to disappear again...” I spoke in a hush, “but... I’m so conflicted. I mean... I feel closer to you guys like this, like it’s easier and more comfortable to be open and be myself. I always felt that way. But... this also feels... wrong, like I shouldn’t be doing this.” I gave an apologetic shrug.

“Oh, pooh-pooh!” Madison insisted. “Who are you hurting? Besides, you look amazing,” she gushed.

“I feel amazing,” I admitted.

With that, we sat around Liv’s room, just a group of girls, chattering about fond memories of Lily’s past visits. Eventually, I brought up the teasing again, only to find that the topic begged a question.

Madison wondered, “So what happened with the teasing at your school? You just stopped talking about it and I don’t think I ever asked because,” she shrugged, “well, I just... didn’t want to bring up bad memories, I guess.”

“Actually, I was pretty lucky with that. The teasing died off,” I explained. “I think it was a big help that, at the end of the day, they were making fun of a Halloween costume. Plus, when I wore macho costumes after that, well, I guess it just made it clear that dressing up as a Disney princess was a one time thing. But still, after that, I couldn’t face Lily again, as you all know.”

“Yeah. I really hated that you had to disappear, Lily – and I sorely wished that you could have been with us at summer camp, too!” Madison lamented.

“Yeah!” erupted the chorus.

Pause. “Hmmm. I don’t know how to feel about that. I mean, I wish I could have been there as much as you do... as Lily, of course, but... it was hard enough being made fun of over a Halloween costume. I don’t think I could have handled, what, wearing a girl’s swimsuit at summer camp.” I pointed out. “Although, I guess Lily was there in her own, hidden way.”

“Yeah. And, I mean, I guess we are forgetting that you’ve never been out of the house. I mean... not for real, not outside of Halloween. And that Halloween was your first time out of the house, wasn’t it?” Liv pointed out.

“Yes, it was, and the teasing ruined it. That’s why Lily never came back... until now,” I tittered.

Wait a second. Why did she bring up the fact that Lily’s never been out of the house for real? Do I even want to know? Pause. No, I don’t.

“Well,” Liv exchanged glances with Ella, sharing a giggle, “Why don’t we do something about that?” she pressed.

Oh hell! I don’t even want to hear this... but then again, if she’s got something in mind, then I’d better find out what it is in a hurry!

”Well, I don’t think I’m going to like it,” I shuddered, “but okay. I give. What are you suggesting?” I queried.

“I dare you to stand out front on the sidewalk for five minutes.” Liv challenged. There was a certain amusement in the grin that now appeared on Liv’s and Ella’s faces, along with more laughter that got the others started.

Meanwhile, Madison’s reaction to Liv’s suggestion was noncommittal, which raised my eyebrows. I had the distinct impression that, to her, the important thing was just to spend time together. She didn’t seem to care how. Truth be told, I agreed. The only question was whether to accept the dare.

“There’s plenty of time to change back afterwards, you know,” Ella remarked.

This is confusing! Part of me doesn’t want them to think I’m chicken, even to stand outside dressed as a girl, so I want to do it. On the other hand, while they know I like this, I don’t want them to know how much I like this, so I don’t want to do it!

I supposed that, at the very worst, I would have to walk the short distance home dressed as a girl, dig up my key in the back yard, and let myself in... and I could handle that.

It’s a damned good thing my parents are out!

“Okay, okay; I’ll do it.” I caved.

They cheered as Olivia handed me a black, formal overcoat, which I donned, knowing it was chilly outside.

CHAPTER 5

As expected, Madison came with me so that we could spend the time together. Amy followed because she couldn’t bear to miss it. The other two girls walked us out to the sidewalk, only to close and lock the iron gate behind us, making me uneasy. The porch was now inaccessible, which forced us to stand out on the sidewalk in plain view, which left me feeling vulnerable and on display.

From the other side of the gate, Liv teased, “Don’t worry; this is only so you don’t cheat. It is a dare, after all! Meanwhile, I have to pee! We’ll be back!” She giggled as they scurried back inside and shut the front door.

As we passed the time, bathed in a street light, we laughed in the the damp night, the smell of rain still lingering in the air after a shower that had ended a couple of hours earlier. We chatted about school, friends, and summer camp. Cars passed in what was left of rush hour and even a few pedestrians passed within mere feet of me. I kept my eyes on Madison and prayed that those passing by wouldn’t notice me. Yet, despite my uneasy self-consciousness about my attire, it was a thrill to be standing here, dressed as I was. I enjoyed it enough to lose track of time, marveling at how different it was to be a girl outside of the house when it wasn’t Halloween and I was the only one whose attire was out of the ordinary.

All of a sudden, I heard the sound of an M-80 firework exploding somewhere behind me, to the east. It gave me a start and made me squeal. I was a highly sensitive person and, well, it showed. Turning to glance down the street in that direction, I saw a group of four boys turn onto the street from the cul-de-sac a block and a half down, laughing at the noise they had created.

“Oh no! It’s that lowlife Charlie and his buddies!” Amy groused, speaking my thoughts.

“Charlie?! You mean that creep who has a thing for Liv?!” Madison blurted, recognizing the name. “Eeww!! What is with that guy?!”

“Oh, he’s your garden variety delinquent,” I began. “He lives just one street over from us. He sets off those stupid M-80s all the time on Halloween, Independence Day, and of course, New Year’s Eve. Sometimes he even does it whenever he feels like it. I don’t know where the hell he gets them, but I know that all fireworks are illegal in this city,” I trailed off, realizing that he must have some shady connections to get his hands on them.

“Anyway,” I continued, “He’s the type who has a problem with authority... though at least he’s more rebellious than dangerous. He got kicked out of his grade school for smoking weed. He also got busted for spray-painting a few bus stop shelters over on Geary Boulevard. He hasn’t done anything violent that I know of, but... he is rumored to carry a butterfly knife and sometimes threaten people with it.” I explained. “I don’t know if he would actually use it or if he just thinks it’s cool, but... I wouldn’t want to find out.”

“Neither would I,” Madison blurted, wincing.

Amy added, “And then, of course, there’s that sick game he makes out of chasing Liv. How creepy is that?”

“Oh, it totally is!” Madison shuddered. “What a freakazoid!”

Fortunately for Liv, Charlie hadn’t ever tried anything beyond seeking to gain her attention for a bit, which seemed to be how he won his morbid game, but his behavior was no less inappropriate for it.

“Staying away from him is a total no-brainer.” Amy shivered.

“Well, here he comes and we’re locked out!” I murmured. “Damn it.”

Honest to God! Every goddamned time Lily sets foot outside the house something goes wrong!

The boys were getting closer. Seeing that Liv and Ella were not visible in the house, Amy reached out to ring the doorbell.

“No, don’t! Liv’s parents might answer!” I warned.

“Oh, shit! That’s right! What do we do?” Amy worried.

“I have an idea!” I assured.

I darted over to the massive, white, 1984 Suburban that belonged to Liv’s mother and sat in the parking lane, blocking Liv’s driveway, the other two girls on my heels. We were in luck. It was unlocked.

“Aw, shit! The back seat’s pushed forward.” Amy whined. Out of time, she made a quick decision. “I’ll tell you what; you two get in and I’ll close the door! Hurry!” She ordered.

I didn’t hesitate, until I lifted one foot into the car. Then I looked back at Madison. “Wait! Who’s driving you to the dance tonight?”

“Ella’s mom is driving! Don’t worry! Just get in! Hurry!” Madison assured, waving me on as if she expected the air currents to lift me up and carry me into the vehicle. Behind her, I saw Liv now standing in her living room with Ella, making frantic gestures at us to get in the car. Another M-80 startled the hell out of me, much closer this time, winning another yelp from me. Two doors over, at a house with a yard that bordered on the sidewalk, a neighbor’s dog began barking.

Awww! Charlie’s such an asshole!

Without further delay, I climbed straight into the third row, forced to be careful of my dress and nylons. Sitting on the driver side, I watched Madison hurry in after me. The second she sat down, Amy shoved the second-row seat back into position, climbed in, and slammed the door shut. Before sitting down, she locked her door and reached past the front passenger seat to press the lock near the pillar. Then she moved to the driver side to lock the other doors.

Amy glanced behind her, but seemed to realize that the car featured a tailgate that could not be opened without lowering the rear glass into it first. Access required the key. Satisfied that we were safe, Amy sat in the center seat, smoothing her skirt. All was quiet except for the laughter of the boys, soon followed by their footsteps.

Madison glanced outside, only to glimpse Liv and Ella moving away from the living room window. “It was a great idea to check the car door, Lil’. I didn’t even think of Liv’s parents answering the door and Liv’s safer with the door shut, anyway.” She smiled.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “For once, aren’t you glad the Sutcliffes ignore their security?”

“Totally! Besides, we’re safe in this massive car.” Madison pointed out.

“This is a really big car,” Amy quipped, looking around it, making us giggle. “How the fuck do they park this thing?”

“I know! It’s a tank!” Madison agreed with a laugh.

Just then, Charlie sauntered up to the car, killing our laughter, and tried to peer inside. Fortunately for us, the windows were tinted to the extent allowed by California law – and the interior was dark.

“Olivia? Is that you, babe?” he inquired.

“That’s gotta be Charlie!” Madison whispered to Amy.

“That’s him, alright,” she replied in kind. Then, in a loud voice, she barked, “She’s in China! Go away!”

“Bullshit!” Charlie cursed under his breath, digging in the pocket of his denim jacket. Then I saw the flicker of his lighter – and he wasn’t a smoker.

“Oh shit! Fire in the hole!” I blurted, covering my ears with my hands and hunching down as Charlie tossed another M-80 right over the car. It landed in the opposite traffic lane, perhaps twenty feet (6 m) from our car, setting off a car alarm. That got a good squeak out of me.

“God damn it!” I hissed.

The neighbor’s dog was now in the midst of an ungodly tantrum and, while I couldn’t see the animal, I could hear the neighbor open the door to his yard as he took the poor thing inside, shouting at Charlie and friends that he had called the police. It was then that I noticed something across the street as I stared at the source of the explosion.

“Hey! I think Charlie took out a tail light on that car over there – and the headlight of the car right behind it.” I marveled.

“Yeah, I think he did!” Amy agreed.

Just then Liv’s iron gate opened and her father stepped out to the sidewalk.

“Alright, Charlie! Knock it off and get out of here! Now! Go!” he fumed.

“Lucky for you, we gotta split anyway!” he sneered, before he and his buddies ran back down the street into his cul-de-sac. A series of those lined the north side of that street and rested on a terrace below which was a creek, hidden behind the homes. Beyond that was the expanse of the Presidio. There was a trail through the area and a derelict Public Health Service Hospital a short distance to the northeast that had closed for good four years earlier, along with all of the others of its kind, thanks to President Reagan. The boys were sure to make their way there to hide before the police arrived... if the neighbor had called them. Given that the sirens of a police cruiser would only rile up his dog that much more, I suspected a bluff.

* * * * *

Satisfied that Charlie was gone, Mr. Sutcliffe walked back inside the house, leaving the gate ajar... again.

That is such a stupid thing to do, but it sure helps me out! We can get back inside and – uh oh! What’s wrong now?

Liv and Ella emerged from the house and beelined for the car. Amy had just cracked open the rear passenger door, perhaps attempting a tactical retreat to the house, when she spotted them. Changing her mind, she threw the door open and scooted to the driver’s side seat to leave room for them to get in. As soon as they were seated, Ella slammed and locked the door behind them. Close on their heels, Mrs. Sutcliffe stepped out to the sidewalk, digging in her purse for her keys.

Wait a minute! Something is definitely wrong!!

“Erm, you guys? What’s going on?” Amy murmured.

My brain began to put it together, draining the color from my face as it did so. “You guys? You guys??” I panicked, my voice rising. “Ella’s mother is driving, right?? Please tell me Ella’s mother is driving!!”

Liv turned around from the right-hand seat to quickly explain, holding out a small, black purse that I took from her as if I’d never seen one before. “Sorry, Lily, but she called to tell us that she’s got a flat tire. My mom’s driving now!”

“What???” I gasped, clutching the purse.

“I’m so sorry, Lily!” Liv lamented. “She didn’t say anything until she told us to get in the car! I didn’t even have time to react! I-I don’t know what to do!”

“Well, I do! Move! I have to get out of this car!” I hissed. “Quick! Quick!” But that was when Mrs. Sutcliffe unlocked the driver’s door, climbed in, and pulled it shut with a thud.

Oh no! It’s too late! I can’t get out of this now. I’m dressed like I’m going to this dance. I would have to fake being sick, and that only gets more attention from a mother! Damn it! Alright, poker face!

“Ready to dance, girls?” she chatted.

“Yeah, Mom!” Liv tried to sound excited and... almost convinced me.

Donning her seat belt, Mrs. Sutcliffe started the car. Before she put it in gear, she glanced in her rearview mirror.

“Alright, then! Let’s get you to the dance!” She smiled, pausing as she noticed me. “Well now, who’s that in the back row?”

“That’s my cousin, Lily. We invited her at the last minute. I hope that’s okay?” Amy inquired.

Mrs. Sutcliffe chuckled with a shrug. “Sure, why not? You’re allowed to bring guests and we have room. Oh, by the way, Lily, I’m terribly sorry about that rather jarring introduction to Charlie Palmer. He’s a complete hoodlum!” Mrs. Sutcliffe shook her head as the distant sound of another M-80 exploded somewhere in the Presidio. “Ugh! I hate fireworks. Jesus, give me strength!”

“God, what an imbecile!” I shook my head. “He scared the crap out of that poor dog a couple of doors down. Hell, he scared the crap out of me!”

Dear God! Tell me she hasn’t noticed a thing!

“Me, too,” she muttered under her breath as she put the car in gear. “Well, that’s enough about him. On to the dance!”

As she eased away from the curb, my heartrate soared. I was trapped into going to a dance at a girls’ school, in a dress and pantyhose, and I couldn’t get back until my friends got picked up – not unless I wanted to out myself! Leery of my fate, I put my hand on Madison’s to get her attention and whispered to her.

“It looks like I’m coming to your dance. What am I gonna do? I wasn’t expecting that! I-I don’t think I’m ready! Halloween was months ago! This is for real!” I babbled.

With that, she turned her hand over and held my hand in hers.

“Just do all of those things that everyone always tells you not to do and you’ll be just fine,” she replied in kind. Then she paused and I felt that something was on her mind. “You do know that I had no idea this was gonna happen, right? I honestly thought Ella’s mother was driving! W-we only wanted you to share our fun just for a little while and help you take a baby step out front. That was all it was supposed to be. I swear to God!” Then she flashed a wry smile, “If I knew this was going to happen, I would have grabbed your hand to sneak you back to your house to be alone with you!”

“Don’t worry, I believe you. It’s just... this is so insane!” I murmured. “This is for real!” I repeated.

“I know! I hope... well...” she paused, giving me side-eye as though uncertain whether to continue, “I hope that you can have fun, even though you’ll have to be Lily for the night. We’ll watch out for you.”

I couldn’t help but smile at her. Meanwhile, Liv and Ella were giggling and holding a hushed conversation of their own. No doubt it was me they were laughing at, or at least my predicament. Amy looked on in quiet amusement, unsure how she should react, if her face was any indication.

“What are you girls laughing at,” Mrs. Sutcliffe questioned, in a familiar tone of voice that all mothers used when they suspected their kids of being up to no good. They always knew!

“Nothing, Mom. It’s an inside joke.” Liv deflected.

Yeah. Lily’s coming to their dance.

“Oh. Well, then I’m sure I don’t want to know,” she kidded, with a glance in the rear view mirror.

CHAPTER 6

The Webster School for Girls occupied a converted mansion of Italian Baroque Revival architecture, along with two additional buildings comprising the rear two-thirds of the campus. It occupied the center third of the block and the three buildings were stepped down the hill to the next street below. It had a rear entrance on the downhill end, which was where Mrs. Sutcliffe pulled up to drop us off as it was closer to the gymnasium where the dance was held. My heart socked my ribs as Liv opened her door to climb out, followed by Ella and Amy. Liv heaved the seat forward, releasing Madison and I from the third-row. As soon as I had both feet on the sidewalk, I forced myself to take five slow breaths from my diaphragm.

I can do this. With a little luck, the room will even be darkened. This can work. I will be fine. I might even enjoy this if I can relax. I always did love a dance.

Madison took my hand, bringing me back to myself, at which point I saw that Mrs. Sutcliffe had already driven away from the curb and the others waited at the doors, holding them open for us.

* * * * *

After depositing our coats in a nearby classroom used as a coat room, we stepped through the doors into the gymnasium. As I had hoped, the room was darkened, making my ordeal more manageable. That was going to be a big help. I knew that I wasn’t quite out of danger, but it eased my tension.

The gymnasium was alive with kids dancing on the temporary wall-to-wall carpet, all of them months away from graduating elementary school. Nobody took much notice of me apart from a couple of boys, but my luck continued to hold, as they were dancing with girls. The music from the loudspeakers was “Jump” by Van Halen. I loved that song and the music helped me to find excitement within me.

The girls and I danced in a circle surrendering to the music. I had to concentrate on balancing with my hips instead of my shoulders, having noticed the girls doing the same, but this was a helpful way for me to ease in to my first real experience as a girl. I didn’t have to interact yet and that bought me more time to relax, time to build confidence that I could go unnoticed... just so long as I was careful. Meanwhile, what a thrill it was for Lily to be here!

For the next few songs, things went well. They played “Don’t You Want Me” by Human League, “Lucky Star” by Madonna, “Bette Davis Eyes” by Kim Carnes, and “What’s On Your Mind” by Information Society. When the next song came on, “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC, a cheer erupted from the crowd. That was when boys approached Liv, Amy, and Ella to ask for a dance, which they granted. Two more ambled up to Madison and I, making me groan on the inside.

* * * * *

“Hi. I’m Jordan. May I have this dance?” He smiled at me with his gentle brown eyes. He was tall, dark, and good-looking, according to what I imagined were the other girls’ standards. He wore an expensive, double-breasted navy blazer and a red, silk tie. He looked like he worked out. A lot. Ella tried to hide her jealousy at seeing him ask me to dance, making it clear that few girls would turn him down. Even Madison seemed uneasy, as if afraid that I might find myself attracted to boys.

Christ! She should know by know that I’m attracted to girls! Well... I guess I don’t mind dancing with him. Besides, if I want to be convincing as a girl, then I should definitely do it. Even I know that any girl would!

Giving him an honest smile, I nodded. “Sure! Great song! I’m Lily, by the way!”

Thank Gawd for Lily’s voice! I’d give myself away without it for sure! Not that I could hear too well if we tried to chat!

He smiled broadly and we began to dance to the strong beat of the hard rock song – which always did made me think of Angus Young in his schoolboy outfit. I couldn’t help but giggle. As we moved, I realized that we had started dancing halfway through the song – and it soon came to an end.

Well, a real girl would happily dance with him again so he gets a whole song. It’s only fair. Besides, she’d want to dance with him again. Damn it! Ella’s still jealous, and Madison’s still feeling uncertain, but there’s really no credible excuse to turn him down and... girls are expected to be nice. I hope they both understand!

The next song started up to another cheer. It was “Panama” by Van Halen, another of my favorites to dance to.

“Hey, that last one was kind of short. You wanna dance another one?” I allowed.

Smiling again, he nodded and started moving his feet to the rhythm. Normally, Dylan loved to shake his head to that song, his long hair flying like a rock star, but Lily didn’t want her pretty hair messed up.

Just then, as I danced, I caught a glimpse of a girl in a purple dress giving me funny looks from six feet away (2 meters).

Uh oh! Am I dancing like a guy or something? I swear, between that and worrying about my hair... Then a jarring thought hit me like a bat to the face. Oh God! He’s not her boyfriend is he? That would be so embarrassing! Then another deep thought came. Good God! Am I actually having girl problems? I gave myself an inward giggle. There’s something else I didn’t see coming!

The song ended, leaving us both somewhat out of breath. He thanked me politely and walked away.

Well, that’s over with!

CHAPTER 7

Shaking my head and shrugging as our group of five rendezvoused around me, Madison beelining to my side, a slower song started. It was “Every Breath You Take” by The Police. Liv rolled her eyes, the poor girl.

“I hate this fucking song!” She giggled. “Let’s go get punch.”

We nodded and, understanding why the victim of a stalker wouldn’t want to dance to a song about obsession, we headed for the punch bowl. As we stood there, slaking our thirst, the girl in the purple dress glided over for a glass. Madison was chatting with another girl who had come up to visit, but she spotted the girl in the purple dress and watched us with a concerned look.

“Hey there! I’m Marnie.” she introduced herself with a smile.

“Hey, Marnie. I’m Lily. Erm... listen, I hope that wasn’t your boyfriend I was dancing with. I’d be mortified!! I mean, I-I-I had no idea!” I assured her.

“Oh, he’s not my boyfriend. Don’t worry about that.” Then her brow creased. “But he is taken – and his girlfriend is here, too. I mean, it’s okay to dance with another girl, but... I think he was really attracted to you!”

My eyes flew wide open. “Oh, God! Well, thank you for telling me so that I can... you know... not dance with him again,” I tittered.

Gawd, no wonder she was looking at me. I just hope that she didn’t figure me out!

“No problem.” She shrugged. “Anyway... I know you don’t go to school here... ‘cause I do,” she chortled, “so how do you know your friends?” She changed the subject, perhaps to put me at ease.

“W-well, you’re right, I actually go to Drake School on Masonic Ave, so I don’t usually attend the events here, but the girls I’m with do go to school here and they’re my besties from summer camp. That’s how we know each other.” I explained.

“Oh, cool! Which summer camp?” She inquired. After I filled her in with the name, we chatted about it, and I shared a few memories about the weekly dances held at the camp. Then the song changed again. This time, it was Madonna’s “Into the Groove.”

“Oh, I love this song! I’m gonna go dance. Nice meeting you,” Marnie grinned as she dashed back to the dance floor.

“Yeah, you too! See ya!” I smiled at her.

“Get into the Groove, Lil’!” Amy joked.

“Yeah, Lil’! Let’s dance!” Madison grabbed me as Liv hopped her way toward a clear spot, where we sang the lyrics as the five of us danced in a circle.

CHAPTER 8

Immersed in the music, Madison had a pensive look on her face that was mirrored on Amy’s. They exchanged glances a few times. Meanwhile, other nearby dancers began to notice me, boys and girls. The girls were curious, the way Marnie had been, and the boys, well... they were boys!

Uh oh. I have a feeling I’m not under the radar anymore!

Fortunately, the song ended as that thought went through my head.

“Guys! Let’s take a bathroom break. Come on, let’s talk!” Amy invited.

“Yeah, let’s do that! Gawd, the nearest bathroom’s gonna be jammed, but I have an idea. Follow me!” Madison gestured as we walked out of the room while they played “And She Was” by Talking Heads. I loved the song, but I had always found the changing rhythm awkward to dance to. It was the perfect time for a break!

* * * * *

We wended our way through the school, up to the center building, making our way to the corridor outside of the cafeteria, where there was another girls’ bathroom. From here, only a muffled beat was audible, though I thought I heard another cheer.

We’re probably missing a good song. Oh well. I love the DJ’s taste in music!

The bathroom was empty. Other girls were sure to find their way up there in due course, but for now, we had privacy. Amy spoke what was on her mind – and Madison’s – while we sat to do our biological business.

“Lily, I saw Marnie’s looks while you were dancing with Jordan and I saw her come up to talk to you. Is everything going okay?” Amy fretted.

“Yeah, I was going to say the same thing, Lil’!” Madison chimed in.

“Well, everything is okay so far. Marnie doesn’t seem to have a clue about me, I don’t think. She just wanted to let me know that the boy who asked me to dance has a girlfriend. She said that he was really attracted to me. Sucks to be his girlfriend! Oh, and she noticed that she hasn’t seen me around. I’d say a few others have noticed, too, judging by the looks during that last song.” I revealed. “I told Marnie how we met in summer camp and I talked about the weekly dances there. That was really it. She wanted to dance to the next song. Hopefully, I’m in the clear,” I finished.

“Oh good!” Madison breathed a sigh of relief as we moved to the sinks. “Sucks that you had to dance with a boy like that, but she was right to tell you about his girlfriend. The sooner she did, the better, for both you and his girlfriend!”

“Yeah, totally!” As I touched up my lip gloss, I wondered aloud, “So, what did you think of those looks that I got after our punch break? Do you think they were more curiosity – well, no need to explain the boys,” I laughed.

“Yeah. Boys care more about what’s in your bra than what’s in your brain and that’s pretty much all they’re thinking about.” Amy snarked, winning a round of giggles.

“Yeah. I’m not so worried about them, but how about from the girls?” I pressed.

“Well, I-I didn’t see anything alarming, Lily. I mean, it’s pretty dark in there, so it’s hard to see much.” Madison reassured.

“For sure! I can’t see shit in there,” Amy half-joked.

“Me either.” Ella chimed in. “I think you’re fine.”

“Well, okay. I-I mean, I’m not feeling worried or anything... at least, not yet.” I smiled. “I guess I just thought I’d check with my besties. Come on, let’s go dance some more. My feet are starting to hurt, but I have a few more dances left in me,” I kidded.

“Awww, are you having girl problems, Lily?” Amy zinged.

“Yeah, I think she is!” Ella blushed.

“Yeah. I’m having girl problems!” I acknowledged.

Who would have thought?

“Welcome to womanhood, Lil’.” Madison shrugged, with a sly smile.

* * * * *

The DJ played more of my favorite tunes to dance to. I heard “You Spin Me” by Dead or Alive and “Borderline” by Madonna. There were a few boys who wanted to dance with us, but with our feet on the verge of wearing out, we begged off. We took another punch break at which point my besties checked up on me again, making me love them more than I already did. Then a slow song came on and it was one that Madison and I loved. It was “Still Loving You” by Scorpions. Madison grabbed me for a slow dance, making me beam like the sun – and making a few boys scowl. Madison and I paid them no attention. We were too busy holding each other and swaying to the mournful guitar riff at the beginning. We sang to the lyrics as we danced together.

CHAPTER 9

When the song ended, we took another bathroom break in the same bathroom in the middle building. This time, however, when the others decided to return to the dance, Madison held me back, saying she wanted to talk to me alone. As the others left, and the bathroom door swung shut with a soft thud, I could tell that Madsion had something on her mind. However, as anticipated, the bathroom had become more busy during the course of the night and animated conversation echoed from the walls. She leaned close to speak to me.

“Let’s go somewhere else. My feet are killing me and, besides, I’d rather be alone with you,” she finished sotto voce, smiling at me with a sparkle in her eyes.

“I would rather be alone, too,” I replied in kind. “What’s a good spot?”

With that, she took my hand and led me to the rooftop basketball court located atop the lower building, high above the entrance where we had arrived.

Wow! You know it’s a nice school when the rooftop basketball court has a great view of the bay! This is impressive! I wonder how they focus on sports?

The sun had set a while earlier and the moonlight played on the water, making it wink and dance. I could make out Alcatraz Island, with the revolving light shining from the lighthouse of the disused penitentiary, but I blocked it out and focused on the moonlight. It was much prettier.

“You picked a romantic spot,” I smiled at Madison, grateful that we were alone. The music from the dance was muffled to the point of a beat and little else. It was mostly quiet, save for the occasional passing car.

“Yeah. I’ve wanted to bring you up here since I’ve known you.” She confessed.

“Really?” I beamed.

“Yeah.” She nodded, her face serious, but full of love.

For the next few minutes, we chatted about a variety of things and admired the view. It was a wonderful time, perhaps the best of my life so far. It reached its highest point when Madison made a suggestion.

“Hey, erm... we won’t be together at midnight, so... there’s something I would like to give you now.” she blushed. “Happy New Year!” With that, she kissed me, squarely on the lips. In no rush to end the kiss, I just... held her for a while as it lingered. Afterwards, in the warm afterglow of the moment, she rested her head on my shoulder and I rested mine on hers.

“Happy New Year, Madison.” I whispered.

We gazed at the view in silence... until we heard an M-80 in the street below, making me gasp.

“What the--?” I blurted.

“Oh, no. I hope to God that’s not Charlie!” Madison groused.

“Well, it is New Year’s Eve. It could be a lot of people.” I murmured.

“Yeah,” she supposed. “There’s no shortage of idiots this time of year!”

But that didn’t stop us from leaning over to look down at the street below at the distant sound of a familiar chuckle. Sure enough, standing across the street, taking a furtive glance in either direction, was Charlie!

“Oh my God, it’s him! Come on, we’ve got to warn Liv! Fast!” Madison grabbed my hand and hurried us both back into the building.

CHAPTER 10

When we rushed back into the gymnasium, out of breath, it took a minute to spot Liv standing at the punch bowl with Ella, rolling her eyes and shaking her head as, “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell came on.

Whoa. What a creepy time for that song to play! That is just disturbing!

As Madison and I approached Liv, we exchanged glances and I knew that she’d had the same thought. As we drew near, Ella’s smile fled her face as she got a look at ours. Liv turned around to see what was the matter, the question in her eyes needing no words.

Madison gripped her shoulders and shouted in her ear over the music, “Charlie’s outside! We’d better hide!”

“What?? Oh no!” She gawped.

“Oh yes! Let’s make sure he doesn’t find you!” Madison insisted.

With that, Liv turned to Ella to repeat the message. Her face blanched as she nodded.

Meanwhile, we scanned the room, trying to find Amy but we couldn’t see her in the crowd. The room was too dark for that. Just then, the song changed. The sounds of “Who Can It Be Now?” by Men At Work made Madison and I stop in our tracks, exchanging glances.

Who can it be knocking at my door?
Go ‘way, don’t come round here no more
Can’t you see that it’s late at night?
I’m very tired and I’m not feeling right

After resuming her visual sweep of the room and coming up empty, Madison shrugged in resignation. “Well, I can’t find her. Let’s just get Liv out of the room and come back for Amy in a bit.”

“Yeah, we don’t have much choice.” I agreed, uneasy but without a better idea.

With that, we made our way for the door as the song continued.

All I wish to be alone
Stay away, don’t you invade my home
Best off if you hang outside
Don’t come in; I’ll only run and hide

Somehow, I don’t think Liv would want to dance to this one, either!

CHAPTER 11

In the corridor, it was Madison who decided our next move. “Alright, girls! First things first!” she thought aloud. “The dance is over in half an hour, so let’s grab our coats. That way, we can keep Liv in hiding until we’re outta here. Amy’s gonna have to grab hers when she can.”

“Yeah. I really hate to ditch Amy, but I don’t know what else to do. That guy scares me!” Liv murmured as we stepped into the coat room, donned our coats, and grabbed our purses. That done, we stopped outside of the coatroom.

“Okay. Now we need a hiding place.” Ella thought aloud. “Suggestions?”

“Let’s go to the rooftop basketball court to see if we can still spot Charlie from there.” Madison offered. “Then we’ll know that at least he’s still outside.”

Just then we could faintly hear another M-80.

“Well, we can sure as hell hear him,” I jibed. “He’s definitely out there.”

* * * * *

From the rooftop basketball court, we peered down at the street trying to spot Charlie, but we couldn’t find him.

“Damn it! Where’d he go?” Madison groused.

“Oh God! You don’t think he’s in the building?” Liv tensed, with a look on her face that suggested a pit in her stomach.

“I don’t know, but knowing him... and his problem with authority... it wouldn’t surprise me,” I glanced at her.

“Well, let’s not go back to the dance to find out. Let’s... stay here for now and keep an eye out for him. That’ll give us time to think up where else we can hide if we have to.” Madison decided.

The girls’ bathroom crossed my mind, but I knew that was a boundary he would never respect – not if it meant winning his stupid game with Liv. It had to be something he wouldn’t think of. “How about a Kindergarten classroom?” I pitched.

“Good suggestion. We’ll keep that in mind!” Madison smiled at me. “I had thought of the Library but they always lock it – which is really too bad. I doubt he’d ever set foot in there.”

“Do you think he’ll talk to Amy to try to find us?” Liv worried.

“Well, if he does, it’s not going to work. She has no idea where we are – and she’ll avoid him like a disease.” I assured her.

“Yeah, she was the one who said avoiding him is a no-brainer, which it totally is.” Madison agreed.

“For real! Anyway, we couldn’t find her.” Liv acknowledged.

“No, we couldn’t.” I mumbled, casting an unsettled glance in the direction of the dance.

CHAPTER 12

For a few minutes, we held an uneasy vigil on the rooftop basketball court, in the cold moonlight. We talked about summer camp to keep us warm, but eventually, Liv glanced at the double door that opened onto the walkway leading up to the rooftop basketball court.

“Oh shit! It’s him!! Run!!” She gasped.

“Follow me!” Madison ordered, darting for an outdoor staircase on one end of the basketball court. We had made it down to the next landing, praying that he hadn’t seen us, when I glanced through the glass door to that hallway and spotted a couple holding hands and strolling down the deserted corridor inside. Judging from their attire, they were clearly attendees of the dance. Stopping in my tracks, I started knocking on the door and waving frantically.

“Open the door! Let us in! Please.” I hissed, pointing at the knob. “Hurry!”

“Lil’, is someone in that hallway?” Madison came back up to me, followed by Liv and Ella.

“Yes!” I informed, turning back to the door. “Come on! Hurry up! Open it!” I knocked again, gesturing at the knob.

With a puzzled expression, the girl reached out and opened the door for us. “Hey guys. What’s going on?” She inquired, as we herded inside.

“My stalker is out there. Don’t let him in!” Liv begged.

“He’s the one who isn’t dressed for the dance. You can’t miss him!” Ella advised before we turned and fled down the corridor.

As we reached a central stairwell, we heard Charlie banging on the door behind us. “You know, now that he’s locked outside, this is probably the best time to get to Amy,” I pointed out.

“Definitely! Let’s grab her and get her ready to leave so we can find another place to hide.” Madison agreed.

“Okay!” Liv followed along.

CHAPTER 13

This time, we found Amy dancing with a boy to “I Ran” by A Flock of Seagulls, another great dance song! It was clear to me that she liked him and I hated to interrupt. However...

“Sis, we gotta go! Charlie’s here and he’s chasing us!” I warned in her ear.

“Oh shit! Are you serious?!” She stared.

“Yes! He was setting off M-80s outside but now we don’t know where he is, so we’re going to grab your coat and hide somewhere until our ride gets here in twenty minutes,” I outlined. She nodded with vigor as I pulled her away from her partner. “I’m really sorry, it’s an emergency!” she told him. I felt bad for them both, but she knew that we couldn’t afford pleasantries just then.

* * * * *

A couple of minutes later, we emerged from the coat room, ready to leave.

“Where do we hide?” Ella probed.

“Why don’t we try the auditorium? There are always multiple ways out.” I offered.

“Yes! That’s a good idea! It’s a comfy place to sit, too!” Madison agreed.

“Do they lock it?” I checked.

“Well, they usually do, but... pobody’s nerfect.” Amy kidded, making us laugh. “Look! I made a paux fas.”

“It’s worth a shot.” Madison playfully smacked Amy.

It took a minute to get there, but when we arrived, it was unlocked – and deserted, as expected. It was creepy in the dark, the way most theaters are, but someone had left a single light on over center stage. It was enough to see where we were going while affording us the luxury of staying in the shadows. Turning to face the audience seats, I saw two exits on either side behind the back row, marked with glowing, green signs.

“Let’s sit right in front of that left exit up there and sneak out that way if he finds us again.” I suggested.

“Sounds like a good plan.” Madison concurred, smiling at me.

At length, we turned left into last row in front of the exit. At first, nobody spoke as we sat in the darkened corner. We were too tense. Then Ella broke the silence.

“So how’d you find out that Charlie’s here?” She probed.

Madison and I explained the whole saga, starting with the moment we’d heard the first M-80 from the rooftop basketball court and bringing her up to speed.

“Wait, you two went up to the rooftop basketball court?” Amy gasped. “That’s so romantic! I wish I’d had a chance to do that with Doug. I probably would have, too, if not for fucking Charlie!” Amy shook her head.

“Yeah, well, he’s ruining everybody’s night!” Liv muttered.

“So you two are a thing, then!” Amy grinned.

“Yeah, we are.” I confirmed, as Madison and I put our arms around each other. “We kind of have been for a while. It’s just... I had to be me for it. That’s all.”

“Yeah,” Amy murmured, looking at me with an intense expression as though realizing something. Before she could ask the question on her mind, however, Liv took the conversation in a different direction, unwilling to let her guard down.

“You guys, erm... where do you want to hide out next if he finds us,” she worried.

We had just enough time to talk it over before we heard someone coming to the auditorium.

“Sshh! Quiet!” Liv hissed.

We froze, motionless as statues as we listened to the footsteps. Then we saw who the footsteps belonged to. It was Charlie!

How the hell did he find us? I guess somebody must have seen us come in here and told him where we were.

He hopped up on stage and began to check behind the wing curtains.

“Oh, Li-iv? Come out, come out, wherever you are!” He taunted.

Exchanging alarmed glances, we quietly stood to sneak out the top exit as planned, being as quiet as we could. However, Liv ended up being the last one out. She was just about to step through the door when Charlie spotted her.

“Hey, I see you!” He shouted after us.

CHAPTER 14

With that, we ran downstairs to the ground floor level of the building where we had entered the school. We made our way down the gray, commercial-grade carpet of a darkened corridor. It ran parallel to the exterior wall of the building and led to classrooms overlooking the street. We hoped to find a room left open where we could find refuge until Mrs. Sutcliffe picked us up. Alas, all were locked. With a glance behind us to make sure that we were still unseen, Madison dug in her purse.

“Let me try something,” she volunteered, stepping to the door of the fourth grade classroom.

She pulled out her membership card to her health club that looked to be made out of credit card stock. She shoved it between the door and the jamb near the knob, dislodging the tumbler, and pushed the door open.

“It worked! I’ll be damned!” She whispered, beckoning us to follow her inside.

We hustled into the classroom and closed the door, keeping the lights off. Beneath the windows, across that entire wall, was a low wall of built-in, white shelving that came up to the windowsill. We sat on it to keep an eye on the street. The clock on the wall indicated that we had less than fifteen minutes before our ride was due.

* * * * *

Bathed in the dim glow of the street lights, we spent the first minute resting, checking the street or pointing our ears toward the door, just in case. Soon, however, Madison got the conversation started, keeping her voice down since we weren’t supposed to be in that room.

“Hey, Lily.” She waited for me to look over at her. “I know tonight didn’t end so well... again,” she rolled her eyes, “but... we have some time to talk and it’s just us girls in here. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m curious.” She paused, as if uncertain whether to ask. I nodded my permission and she continued. “Have you enjoyed your first real outing? Well, apart from you-know-who, obviously!” She glanced at the door.

“Actually,” I beamed. “I have. It’s been pretty great,” I glanced at Madison, who knew what my favorite part was. “Where do I begin?”

“Wherever,” Madison encouraged.

“I still can’t believe that I was actually having girl problems!” I snickered, getting the others started.

“What do you mean?” Amy prompted, giggling with amusement, her blush revealing that she thought I was talking about the monthly girl problem.

“Not that, you goofball!” I chastised her, rolling my eyes.

“Well, what, then?” She pushed. “Are your boobs itching or something?” She kidded, making us giggle.

“Well, first, when I danced with Jordan, we only caught the last half of that song and I so I thought any girl would give him another dance because... he... I-I mean... well, all of the other girls would think he’s pretty hot. But I’m not into him that way, or boys at all, really.” I giggled, starting another round of laughter.

“But that didn’t matter,“ I continued, “because I had to keep him convinced that I’m a girl and so I had to dance another song with him to be fair – and, you know, not to be a cold bitch. Then during that next song, I was dancing to Panama and I couldn’t shake my head like a rockstar the way I usually do because I didn’t want to mess up my hair.”

I took a breath, my speech accelerating in a run-on-sentence. “Then, Marnie started looking at me funny and I thought I might be dancing with her boyfriend except he’s not her boyfriend but he does have a girlfriend and she’s here but he was still really attracted to me.” I paused to catch my breath. “And now my feet are killing me!!” I winced. “So, you see? I’ve been having girl problems! In fact, I think that’s all of ‘em... except I don’t have periods and my boobs don’t itch!” I joked, looking pointedly at Amy, winning another round of laughs.

All of a sudden, I found myself marveling at the way I had indeed had so many girl problems and yet... I felt as though I could never be a real girl. I felt so far from that!

I’ll never even have boobs!

“Well, those are all girl problems, all right. Welcome to our world.” Madison smiled, but it dimmed as she seemed to notice my own muted expression.

“Well, I like it much better than the boys’ world.” I shrugged. “I mean, I’m used to struggling just to fit in, and... usually failing... but tonight, none of my girl problems had anything to do with that, really. They were the kind of stuff that every girl has to deal with and they... well, they made me feel like a normal girl. Besides, for once, I wasn’t having problems just because I’m me. It was the best dance I ever went to!” I glanced at Madison again, “until Charlie showed up.”

“Yeah.” Amy murmured, trailing off... before voicing a thought she’d had in mind since our previous hiding place. “Hey, Lil’,” she started, “in the auditorium, you said that you had to be you to be with Madison.”

“Yeah, I did say that. Why?” I wondered aloud.

“You really are Lily, aren’t you?” Amy realized.

“Yeah. That was what I meant. I am Lily. Dylan’s the one who needs to disappear.” I admitted. “I guess I’ve just... been afraid of that. I don’t even know what to do about it, really.”

“We’ll figure it all out as a family,” Amy reassured, putting an arm around me.

“Yeah.” I supposed.

Then Amy seemed to shift gears, mentioning another thought on her mind.

“You know, Lily... I think I knew. I could always tell you were more comfortable and confident while you were visiting us.”

“Same here,” Madison agreed. “I could tell.” She paused, as though she had something else to say. “You do know that Lily’s the one I love, right?” she smiled.

“I know,” I murmured with a dreamy smile.

Gawd! Why do I sound like Han Solo in Star Wars?

With that, the conversation paused, switching to discussion about the dance and ultimately drifting to the topic of which boys the other three girls liked dancing with the most and which they liked in the romantic sense.

“You know, Lily, I was super jealous when Jordan asked you to dance. I had a crush on him,” Ella giggled.

“Yeah, well, like I said, he was really attracted to me, even though he has a girlfriend, so... he might not exactly be the faithful type.” I warned.

“Yeah, that was what ruined him for me.” Ella’s face fell. “Well, the hell with him!” She decided, having lost all interest.

Finally, at a couple of minutes before ten, Liv spotted her mother’s enormous, white Surburban pulling up outside.

“Hey guys! My mom’s here – and I don’t see Charlie anywhere.” Liv reported.

“This is good!” Madison noted.

“This is very good! Let’s go!” Liv agreed.

With that, we stood to head outside, with the sounds of Auld Lang Syne wafting from the Gymnasium as we passed the lobby. We were able to get into the car and leave without incident, all of us wondering where Charlie had gone. On the way home, we told Mrs. Sutcliffe all about our adventures, hoping that Charlie had finally gone home.

CHAPTER 15

As we drew close to Liv’s house, and Mrs. Sutcliffe stopped the car to maneuver into the same parking space blocking the driveway, Liv let out a nervous squeal.

“Oh my God! He’s here! He must have decided to come back while we were hiding in the fourth grade classroom!” She wailed, sliding down in her seat.

“Oh, dear God,” Mrs. Sutcliffe sighed, tired of dealing with him. “Alright. I want everyone to please stay in the car once I get it parked. Understood?”

A minute later, she stepped out of her car, locked the doors, and strode over to Charlie, bold enough to reach over and ring her own doorbell a few times, while staring him dead in the eyes. Meanwhile, Charlie stayed put, a sneer on his smarmy face.

“Charlie, go home this instant! I will not have you hassling my daughter! I’m serious. If this doesn’t stop we are going to have to call the police.” She threw down her gauntlet as her husband opened the front door.

“Charlie?! What the hell are you doing back here! I told you to leave! Now, get out of here,” he ordered, shoving the iron gate open and almost knocking Charlie to the sidewalk.

Just then, Liv stunned us all by getting out of the car and stomping over to Charlie.

“What the hell do you want?” she demanded, her fists balled at her sides.

“Nothing,” he smirked, thinking he’d won his game. “Just wanted to say hello.”

“Well, you said it.” she stood her ground. “Now, you need to get something straight! I don’t like you! I never did and I never will!” she spat. “Oh, and by the way, we are calling the police to report the damage you did to those cars across the street when you threw that M-80 – and your father is going to pay for the damages!” Charlie began to look uneasy, but Liv wasn’t through with him. “And from now on, whenever I see you, anytime I see you, I will watch every single thing you do and call the police for any damage that you cause! Every! Time! If you don’t want to end up in juvie* then you are just going to have to stay the hell away!!” She finished with a triumphant roar.

“Well, fine! If you’re going to be a total bitch then who wants you anyway?!” he sneered, realizing that Liv had just turned his win into a humiliating, final defeat. What that, he turned and strode off in the direction of his home.

Liv looked at her parents. “Well, he’s never going to stop being a deliquent, so that ought to keep him far away, now that he knows that attention from me will no longer be pleasant. Gawd, I should have thought of that a long time ago!” She paused to take a breath as she made a decision. “Let’s call the police to report those damaged cars. I’ve got to show Charlie that I mean it and, like I said, Charlie’s father should pay for that damage.” Liv suggested.

“I couldn’t agree more! I’ll go in and call them right now! I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of you, my dear Olivia! I don’t know what changed tonight, but I love it!” Mr. Sutcliffe praised, hugging her tightly before stepping inside to use the phone.

“Yes, I agree! You’ve made us both very proud, Liv. Remember this moment when the next jerk comes along. You’ll know you can handle it!” Mrs. Sutcliffe assured, hugging her child. “You’re going to be just fine! Just out of curiosity, hon, I was wondering the same thing as your father. What did bring about this change in you? You’ve been so afraid of him but tonight, out of nowhere, you were truly a lioness!”

She shrugged. “It just hit me, while I was sitting in the car, watching and listening. I had to take my life back from him or this was never going to stop.” she explained. “Sadly, I’m sure he’s only going to find another girl to follow around, but it won’t be me!”

“Oh, he’ll find someone else, alright, but you did the right thing, Liv. You had to do something,” Madison agreed. “And we’re behind you!”

“Yeah!” Ella chimed in.

“Yeah, we are!” Amy spoke for us both.

With that, we took the opportunity to head inside. Liv wore a bright smile, showing confidence that I hadn’t seen in her before. I knew that someone was going to find that attractive. After all, it was part of what drew me to Madison!

CHAPTER 16

As we reached the top of the stairs, Ella and Amy followed Liv into Chloe’s room, perhaps to make sure that Charlie was really gone or to stay on the lookout. My feet brought me, instead, into Liv’s room. I didn’t have to look to know that Madison had followed me. Charlie was the farthest thing from my mind. Coming up the stairs, I had realized that the end of Lily’s visit was upon me and my mood had plummeted at the thought. Then Liv’s mirror had beckoned to me with the promise of a quick pick-me-up. Attempting to accept its offer, I stood before it. Alas, seeing Lily in all of her glory only crystallized my feelings about Lily’s imminent departure. Everything seemed to have changed. Before, I had never wanted her to return and now I never wanted her to leave!

I want Lily to stay... and I want Dylan to disappear. Forever. But Dylan has to come back... at least for a while... at least for school.

“You really meant it, didn’t you?” Madison murmured, with her arms around me again.

“Yeah, I did,” I replied in a mumble. “I see a girl in the mirror – not a boy in girls’ clothing, but a girl. I bet I’ll still see a girl even after I put Dylan’s clothes back on.”

“Yeah, you will. But you will know who you really are,” she kissed my cheek, “and that I love you.”

That made me smile, turn to look at her, and return her gesture.

“I love you, too.” I sighed.

* * * * *

With that, my mind shifted gears, insisting that I do some thinking about my exit from the Sutcliffe residence – and it would not be ignored!

I considered aloud, “You know... we need to figure out how Lily’s getting out of here. Liv’s parents know that she’s here. They’ve both seen her... and they never saw Dylan arrive.” I murmured.

“Yeah. What’re you going to do?” She prompted.

“Well, there’s only one thing I can do.” I shrugged. “Lily has to stick around until Amy and I get home. I mean... neither Liv’s parents nor mine allow any of us to be outside late at night. That means the Sutcliffes are planning to bring Amy home. They would have to be; my parents are out at a New Year’s Eve party until after midnight. That means Dylan can’t show up to bring Amy home.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “You’re right. You’re just going to have to be Lily until you get home.”

“Of course, that’s not exactly a bad thing.” I shrugged. “It means that I don’t have to make her disappear for a little while longer!”

“Yup. Exactly,” Madison smiled.

“So... this dress I’m wearing was hanging in a dress bag in Liv’s closet, wasn’t it?” I queried.

“Yeah, it was. Why?” Madison replied.

“Is it hers?” I checked, looking at Madison.

“No, it’s mine.” Madison smiled.

“I think I’ve seen the shoes before, so they must be Amy’s. How about the coat and the purse?” I followed up.

“The coat is an old one of Ella’s that she grew out of and the purse is hers, too.” She trailed off as her face turned serious. “You know, Lily, I need to get something off of my chest.”

“Go on,” I invited with a smile.

“Christmas made me miss you a lot and I knew that you were happier being Lily. I just had to bring you back, so I decided to do exactly that. I knew that we wouldn’t all be together again until tonight, the five of us, so I picked tonight to make it happen. I called the others and told them what I wanted to do and they all jumped right on board. Then I bought your gifts while I was out Christmas shopping, so they’re kind of Christmas gifts. I had to sneak them past my mom. From there, it was just like I said. We wanted you to share in the fun of getting all dressed up for the dance even though we never expected to actually bring you there! You were only supposed to be out on the sidewalk for five minutes before coming right back in but one little flat tire changed everything. It really was supposed to be just a baby step.”

“Well, that was a hell of a baby step!” I laughed, getting her started.

“Yeah, but you liked it!” She teased.

“Yeah, I did! Thank you for everything!” I grinned, but then my face turned serious as I realized that precious time was passing. “Oh God! I’m sorry but I have to make sure we get Lily out of here before she gets caught! Erm... where was I with my planning?”

“Your clothes.” Madison reminded with a smile.

“Yes! I was thinking about my outfit. Should we maybe... no, let’s not bother changing me into a casual outfit,” I decided, turning to face her. “I mean, the others aren’t changing, so if I do it might raise questions. No, I can just go home like this. Even though my feet are killing me!” I giggled, making her chortle.

“Yeah, tell me about it! You know, I think you’re right. Stay as you are until you get home.” She nodded. “Come on, let’s sit on the bed!”

“Yes, please!” I accepted.

Now seated, with the weight off of my sore feet, I worked out the rest of my exit strategy... since my mind wouldn’t let it go.

“So, what do we carry Dylan’s clothes home in? Can we borrow a backpack and tell Liv’s parents that I borrowed a sweater, just...” I shrugged, “to wear something different?”

“Now you’re thinking like a girl,” Madison kidded, with a wink. “We lend each other stuff all the time.”

“What about Dylan’s shoes? Will they fit in the back pack?” I continued my planning.

“Hmm, let’s see.” Madison stood, stepping out of her shoes, and padding over to the closet in her bare stockings. Rifling through Liv’s closet, she found an unused backpack and held it up. “I think it’ll all fit in here.” As she spoke, she grabbed Dylan’s clothes from Liv’s closet and put them in the backpack.

Good idea. Let’s pack them up right now before the Sutcliffes see them.

“Perfect.” I stood, picked up my shoes, and handed them to Madison to finish the job before I froze. “You know what? Amy has to be the one borrowing stuff from Liv. The Sutcliffes just met Lily and I don’t want to draw their attention to that backpack any more than absolutely necessary. That means Amy will have to carry the back pack home so that any attention from Liv’s parents is on her.” I smiled. “That just leaves what to do when I get home...” I thought for a moment. “Well, we’ll put the girls’ clothes in Amy’s room until you and Ella can pick up your stuff – or until we can sneak it back to you. Hopefully, we can keep it out of sight until then. I think that’s everything!” I finished.

“Yup. I think you’ve got this all planned out.” She grinned.

Just then, the others returned from Chloe’s room.

“Hey, you two! The police have arrived. I think they’re going to want to talk to us.” Liv announced.

“Oh, yeah, they probably are. Any sign of Charlie?” Madison inquired.

“No, there’s no sign of him. Not a peep!” Liv smiled, her confidence still showing.

“Ugh. I hope he blows himself up,” Amy blurted, making us laugh. “So what have you two been up to?” she teased.

“Planning my exit strategy,” I replied sotto voce, noting the open door. “Amy, you borrowed a sweater and a pair of shoes from Liv, just because.”

“I did?” she blurted.

“Yes! We have to play it that way. I realized that the Sutcliffes are bringing you and your cousin Lily to our house since we’re not allowed to be walking around this late at night. That means Dylan can’t be seen here and Lily has to stick around until we get home. That means we have to smuggle my clothes out of here. If the Sutcliffes see them, I’ll be outed.” I warned in a low voice, giving her the short explanation.

“Ooh! You’re right!” Amy realized. “Okay. So I borrowed some stuff!” She shrugged. “It ain’t the first time!” she grabbed the backpack and slung it on over her coat and purse.

“Good,” I smiled, feeling more confident that my exit strategy would work.

As if on cue, Mr. Sutcliffe hollered up the stairs, “Girls? The police are here about those damaged cars across the street. Would you come down, please?”

“Coming!” Liv answered for all of us.

We herded down the stairs and told the police about witnessing Charlie setting off several M-80s before finally throwing one across the street, where it damaged the two parked cars. Taking everything down, they informed us that Charlie would receive yet another hefty fine and another charge of misdemeanor vandalism would be added to his record. With that, the police left to inform the neighbors across the street as to how their vehicles had come to be damaged so that they could seek compensation from Charlie’s father.

“Alright, ladies. Now that all of the unpleasantness is taken care off, it’s getting late. Who’s being picked up?” Mr. Sutcliffe asked.

“Just Ella and I.” Madison replied.

“Yeah, Amy’s folks are out at a New Year’s Eve party.” I added.

“Well, I see a couple of cars out front. I guess your rides are here. I’ll walk you two outside and walk these ladies to Amy’s house.” he announced.

Damn! I was hoping he’d drive the two blocks! I guess they don’t want to lose that parking spot.

The second Mr. Sutcliffe turned his back to open the front door, Madison grabbed me for one last wonderful kiss before hurrying to fix our lips. “Goodnight, Lily! I was so happy to see you again!” She smiled.

“I had a great night tonight, Madison!” I marveled, before whispering, “Especially on the rooftop basketball court!” That made her smile a thousand times brighter!

With that, we walked out the front door, which Mr. Sutcliffe held open.

“I’ll be right back, honey!” he called to his wife.

“Okay, love. Keep an eye out!” she replied.

“Oh, we will!” He rolled his eyes, closing the door behind him.

CHAPTER 17

The walk home was uneventful. Charlie was nowhere to be seen. Liv had finally warded him off – and that was before the cops showed up. Mr. Sutcliffe walked us all the way up the front stairs to our front door to make sure we got in safely. When Amy opened the door, I realized, with a start, that the house was too quiet!

Oh God! The place sounds empty! The TV should be on! Think fast, Lily!

“Gee, it’s quiet in here! Dyllie must have fallen asleep, the goof! I’ll go wake him up!” I giggled, with an eye roll, at which point Amy broke out laughing. “Goodnight, Mr. Sutcliffe. Thanks for walking us home!” I finished.

“My pleasure, ladies!” He smiled.

With that, I darted up the stairs, stopped out of sight, and made believe that Dylan and Lily were having a conversation, switching between his voice and hers.

“Hey Dylan! We’re home!” I made Lily tell the thin air.

Then, in Dylan’s voice, “Oh, hey, Lily! I fell asleep reading a book. Thanks, Mr. Sutcliffe!” Dylan finished with a shout.

“You’re welcome, Dylan. Goodnight!” Mr. Sutcliffe acknowledged.

This is so ludicrous! Well, I’d better keep talking until he’s really gone!

“So, did you girls have fun?” Dylan chatted to nobody.

“Yeah, we had a blast, though that creep Charlie showed up...” I paused as I heard the front door slam. I waited a few seconds until I heard Amy.

“Coast is clear!” She hollered from downstairs.

“Phew!” I breathed a sigh of relief. “D’you think he bought it?”

“Oh, totally!” she giggled.

“Thank God!” I grunted, plopping down at the top of the stairs and removing my shoes. “Gawd, my feet!! I completely understand this now!” I complained, breaking out into a chuckle which only got Amy started again.

“Yep. Now you know!” She smiled, plopping next to me. “Hey, wait a minute. You’re a lesbian. You should be wearing comfortable shoes!” she teased, making us laugh.

As the conversation trailed off, our sisterly joking reminded me of something I’d noticed when Amy had fixed my makeup before the dance.

“You like having a sister, don’t you?” I smiled.

“Of course! I love it!” She grinned. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love Dyllie, too. He’s pretty great, as far as big brothers go. But it’s so great having a sister!”

“I don’t blame you. I’d rather have a sister any day.” I smiled, giving her a hug.

“Duh!” She half-joked.

“Okay. We have the house to ourselves for awhile, but we could use the time. How would you like to help me take off this makeup and nail polish before Mom and Dad get home?” I suggested.

“Well...” she paused, with an impish look, “you know, could stay the way you are and tell Mom and Dad about Lily tonight. You have to tell them sometime.”

“Well, yeah, I do.” I admitted, dreading that moment.

“Besides, you know what?” Her face lit up. “Tonight, they’ll be in a festive mood and... knowing them, they’re probably having some drinks,” she giggled. “You know how Dad’s a pussycat when he’s had a few,” she kept laughing, doubling over.

“Yeah, he is!” I laughed. “Hey! Now that I think of it, both their cars are outside! They must be taking a cab or getting a ride! You know what that means!” My eyes twinkled.

“Yeah. They’re knocking ‘em back!” She giggled, getting me started.

“Do you realize this could work??” I smirked.

“Duh! That’s why I said it!” She smiled.

“Well, hell, let’s tell them tonight!” I grinned. “Hey, you know what else? This really is the best time to mention that Lily accidentally went to the dance, too! They’re going to be glad they’ve had a few when they hear that.”

“Yeah! Beats the hell out of telling them when they’re stone sober!” She smirked.

“Totally!” I sighed. “Okay, then. We tell them tonight.”

CHAPTER 18

The digital clock on Amy’s nightstand displayed 12:10 AM. Amy and I had counted down to the new year together. I was glad to be starting 1986 with honesty to my parents, but I was scared. In preparation for Lily’s introduction to our parents, Amy and I had put our formal shoes back on after resting our feet in slippers. Standing before the full-length mirror on the inside of her closet door, I checked my lip gloss and took a good look at Lily... just in case. My nerves were a mess and I had a knot in my stomach. I had panicked when Mrs. Sutcliffe drove off to the dance with me in the rear seat, but somehow, it didn’t compare to this.

I’m confused. I knew I’d be okay going to that dance as a girl once I got myself to relax, just like I knew I would love what I saw in the mirror and I knew that I would never want to make Lily disappear again. Why don’t I know it’ll be okay with my parents? Maybe it’s because they think I’m their only son and I’m afraid they’ll want to keep him?

“Are you okay?” Amy asked, coming up to stand behind me and making eye contact in the mirror.

“Yeah... I think so. I just can’t help being nervous.” I sighed. “I guess... I feel like the rest of my life depends on this going well. We both know who I really am. Dylan’s the one that needs to disappear.”

“Yeah, he does.” Amy rested her left elbow on my right shoulder and I knew I’d much rather be a big sister than a big brother any day! Being a brother had only put up walls between us that were now crashing down – and I didn’t want them coming back up.

Just think of all the stuff we could do together. Wow! I just realized that Amy might never call me her “Big Bother” again – of course, knowing her, she’s going to start calling me her Big Pisser instead.

Just then, I heard a car door slam out front.

“Oh, God! They’re home!” I tensed.

Then the sound of giggling wafted in through the front windows. Amy went to look out at the street, chuckling herself. “Yeah, they’re on the sauce for sure!”

Unable to help myself, I laughed along with her. It helped to ease my nerves.

“Well, it’s time to face the music. How should we do this?” I wondered.

“We make it look like the most normal thing in the world!” Her face lit up. “Let’s turn on the TV in the kitchen, quick! Come on! We’ll have an after party!” Amy grabbed my hand and led me down the stairs.

* * * * *

We had just enough time to get down there and flip on MTV before we heard the front door open – to the sound of more laughter. Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors” played from the TV’s tinny speakers. I stared at the wall behind the TV on the counter, listening to my parents’ footsteps heading into the kitchen.

“Come on, Lil’!” Amy grabbed my hand and made me dance one more time.

Owch!

Groaning, I danced with my back to the kitchen door. We were giggling when my parents walked into the room.

“Well, hello, girls! You havin’ a friend over, Amy?” Mom smiled.

“Not exactly, Mom!” I replied, turning around, with my head tilted to one side with a nervous grin. To my surprise, my father laughed out loud.

“I had a feeling, hon! I always knew that you loved it too much when your friends dressed you up. So, what do we call you?” He smirked, holding on to Mom.

“I’m Lily.” I smiled. “And you guys are plastered!” I tittered.

“Yes, I’m afraid we’ve been a little naughty - and we’ll pay for it in the morning.” she chuckled, coming over to hug me before taking a long look at me. “You look adorable!” Then her brow wrinkled. “In fact, you look ready to—” she gasped, looking back and forth between Amy and I. “You didn’t, did you?”

“Well... not on purpose.” I shrugged. Amy hid a round of giggles behind one hand.

“Wait a minute. Do you mean—” Dad glanced at Mom before looking at me. “Are you saying that you... went to the dance at Webster? As a girl?” He wondered.

“Yes.” I confessed.

“How on Earth did that come about?” Mom asked.

I explained the intended baby step, the flat tire, and all of the girl problems I had at the dance. Somehow, Amy caught on that I left Charlie out of the discussion, knowing that it wasn’t him we needed to talk about. She didn’t say a word about him.

Mom stared at me in wonderment as she blurted, “Honey, the way you talk about your evening you even sound just like any other girl!” Mom marveled.

“Yeah, I noticed that, too, Babe,” Dad agreed. “Like I said. I had a feeling.”

“Alright, my girls, your father and I need to go upstairs and pass out.” She giggled, “not because we’ve been drinking but because it’s after midnight.” She rolled her eyes. “Lord! We haven’t had that much!”

“Oh, God, no! Well, I’m ready to crash.” Dad yawned. “But I’m delighted to meet my... other... daughter,” he rolled his eyes with a chuckle. “We will make an appointment with somebody and... get this all figured out, okay?”

“Thanks, Daddy!” I smiled.

With that they hugged us both.

“I know you don’t have school tomorrow, but don’t stay up too late, okay?” Mom admonished.

“We won’t!” we assured.

* * * * *

“Whew! That went better than I thought!” I sighed as Kool and the Gang’s “Celebration” played on MTV.

“Yeah! I thought they’d put up at least some resistance!” Amy agreed.

“I’m just glad they know now.” I sighed. “Well, I wonder what happens next?”

THE END

(* Juvie is juvenile detention, where they put young offenders in the USA... unless, of course, they’re charged as adults. In those days, however, they were never charged as adults... and few juveniles committed serious crimes.)

THE “SOUNDTRACK”

1. “Jump” by Van Halen
2. “Don’t You Want Me” by Human League
3. “Lucky Star” by Madonna
4. “Bette Davis Eyes” by Kim Carnes
5. “What’s On Your Mind” by Information Society
6. “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC
7. “Panama” by Van Halen
8. “Every Breath You Take” by The Police
9. “Into The Groove” by Madonna
10. “And She Was” by Talking Heads
11. “You Spin Me” by Dead or Alive
12. “Borderline” by Madonna
13. “Still Loving You” by Scorpions
14. “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell
15. “Who Can It Be Now?” by Men at Work
16. “I Ran” by Flock Seagull
17. “True Colors” by Cyndi Lauper
18. “Celebration” by Kool & the Gang

Attachment	Size
Lily from Girl Problems.jpg	1.38 MB

Happenstance

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Contests:

2024-01 January - New Year's Resolution Story Contest

Publication:

500 < Short Story < 7500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Other Keywords:

No forced fem

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

What happens when a bit of fun collides with happenstance?

Happenstance

Saturday, January 3, 1987

“Where is Claire?” Julie fidgeted, absently speaking aloud to her friends.

“Well, she’s only a little late,“ Megan pointed out.

“Yeah, she’ll be here,” Jenny reassured.

We sat in Julie’s front yard, waiting for Claire, the girls dressed for a night out. Claire was the last one to show up. The gate was open in anticipation of her arrival. I had been invited to visit for a while before they went to their favorite restaurant for a girls’ night on the town, their first of the new year. As a boy, while I did understand the girls’ need for the bonds of sisterhood, I couldn’t help but feel left out and it stung.

While we talked, my nerve around Julie reasserted itself, as it had for the past year. Suddenly, Claire shot into the yard not dressed for the restaurant.

“Guys! I can’t come out tonight.” She fretted. “My grandmother had a heart attack and we’re on the way to the hospital. We got the call while I was getting ready and I didn’t have time to call you so I just had to stop by instead. I’m sorry, ladies, but I have to go!”

“That’s okay. Take care of yourself! We love you!” Julie insisted. We took turns giving her hugs and she was off.

With that, we went inside and climbed the stairs to Julie’s room. When we got there, Julie asked what everyone wanted to do. They had some time before they left for dinner... and before I went home. For the first few minutes, we chatted while we looked at clothing catalogs, occasionally cooing over a dress. We often bonded over something along those lines, whether it was a teen magazine, catalog, or celebrity gossip rag, but it didn’t matter to me. I enjoyed being as close to them as a boy could get.

At one point, Julie pointed at a dress in a catalog that had a black velvet bodice and dark royal blue, satin puff sleeves and skirt. Bursting out giggling, she joked, “Hey, Dylan! That dress would look cute on you with black pantyhose!” The other girls laughed and even I had to chuckle, albeit with my face burning... until Julie took it up a notch by making a troubling suggestion.

“You know what? Let’s dress you up for real! That’ll pass the time, won’t it?!” That won another round of laughter, and the other girls’ faces lit up with goofy smiles, but Julie wasn’t done. She continued, stepping over to her closet, as though I had already agreed, “I’ll bet you whatever you want that with your shoulder-length hair, you’re going to look like you were born a girl. In fact, you’re going to look just like Amy!”

Amy was another friend in their group who attended their get-togethers about half the time, as her schedule permitted, but not that night. We had almost the same shade of strawberry blonde hair and similar blue eyes.

Looking around the room, I saw enthusiasm without a trace of disgust. It felt safe enough and I shared their boredom. Anyway, I was curious about girls’ clothes, not that I had ever mentioned that to anyone but Julie. In fact, I had made a New Year’s Resolution just over a year earlier to explore my feminine side, but that had never panned out. I had confided it to Julie because she was my best friend and my crush. Yet, it was for that reason that my failure to carry out my resolution undermined my self-confidence around her to a greater extent each time I saw her as the year slipped by.

Oh, what the hell. I did make that resolution, didn’t I? Maybe it’s time to face it.

“Okay, you can dress me up,” I agreed.

Boy, did I underestimate what they had in mind!

Before long, I was wearing a royal blue, sheath dress that hung just above my knees. Beneath that, I wore a bra and panty set made of nylon in a nude shade. On my feet were black, faux suede pumps with a one inch (2.5 cm) heel. The girls had even coaxed me into a pair of light tan pantyhose.

Before I could wrap my head around it all, they ran my hair through a flattening iron. Julie joked, “You know, this is a lot easier on someone who takes care of her hair! Anyway, now that you’re dressed as a girl, you really do look a lot like Amy! Holy crap!”

“Oh my god, she really does!” Megan enthused, astonished.

Stealing a glance in the mirror, I realized they were right! “Holy crap! I do! That’s scary!”

We must have been getting noisy. Jenny jumped up to crack the door and make sure we weren’t attracting attention. “All clear!” She smiled, coming up to gaze at me in astonishment.

“Say, I have an idea! Just for fun, let’s see just how much we can make you look like Amy with the right makeup!” With that, in the midst of the laughter, Julie added mascara followed by Amy’s trademark cat-eye liner and her usual light coat of taupe shadow, followed by lip gloss in the shade that Amy favored. As she worked, Megan handed her the makeup, item by item. Julie had skills! She then adorned me with a silver heart-shaped pendant that matched the sweetheart neckline of the dress, along with matching heart-shaped, dangly, magnetic earrings that looked like pierced ones. My feminine appearance felt like a strange mix of foreignness and delight and it made me as nervous as I had been all night.

The rosy pink nail polish they put on my nails, another favorite of Amy’s, had just dried when Julie stood me before her full-length mirror and squealed, “I knew it; you do look like a born girl! Look at you!”

As Jenny glanced out the door again before nodding in satisfaction, I stared at my reflection, from the pumps on my feet and the nylons on my legs back up to the makeup on my face. Julie was right and, while nervous, I was aware of a secret thrill at the sight of myself and at the feeling of it all. I was right in the depth of my reverie when Julie’s mother caught us off guard. “Girls!” her voice wafted in from the stairs with urgency.

I barely had time to do anything but turn my back to the door and pretend to study the first thing I could grab, which was a Rubik’s Cube that I found on Julie’s nearby dresser. Her mother burst through the doorway in a tizzy.

“Girls, quick! I lost track of time talking to my friend on the phone,” she spoke a mile a minute. “The restaurant is too busy to hold our reservation, so we have to leave right now to make it! Come on!” Then she noticed me. “Oh, hi, Amy! You joining us tonight? Sorry about the panic. It’s my own fault! Come on! Let’s go!” she laughed, as she headed out the door and down the stairs without waiting for an answer.

All of the girls looked at me, stunned, with zero time to change me back. Thankfully, Julie had dropped my clothes on her closet floor, where they were out of sight with the door closed, so that we could see the full-length mirror on the outside of it. With my appearance now a convincing imitation of Amy, Julie’s mother didn’t have a clue that she was looking at a boy en femme.

Julie finally found words. “Dylan, I am so sorry, but you’re going to have to be Amy tonight. I-is that okay? I swear to God this was not what I had in mind, but... I-I don’t think there’s any other way.” Julie apologized, accepting a jacket and purse for me that Megan handed to her after dropping into it the tube of lip gloss they had used.

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s just get through this.” I blurted.

Handing me the feminine items, Julie noted, “Well... maybe this is a way of finally carrying out that New Year’s Resolution that you made last year.” She shrugged in apologetic fashion.

“Come on, girls! Get a move on! We’re going to lose our reservation!” her mother’s voice sounded from downstairs.

“You’re right, Julie. About all of it. There’s no time and I need to do this, I guess.” I whispered back, as I donned the proffered white bolero jacket and shouldered the small, black purse.

“I am so sorry about this!” Julie smiled. Then she grabbed my hand, and led me downstairs.

* * * * *

Thirty minutes later, after the strangest car ride of my life, we parked in the Masonic Temple Parking Garage. Exiting onto the sidewalk, we turned right, and stood at the corner, waiting for a green light. Meanwhile, I marveled at how different it felt to be standing on a downtown corner, dolled up for a girls’ night out, complete with makeup, nail polish, and pantyhose. It was scary, but in a good way, like an exhilarating roller coaster! As the light turned and we crossed the street, I glanced at Grace Cathedral, ahead and to my left, where my family and I had attended the Christmas service just nine days earlier. My coat and tie had been uncomfortable, as always.

Huh. In this dress and these nylons, I would have fit right in with all of the other girls. Well, I guess I would have worn a red or green dress instead of royal blue.

I sighed with nostalgia. Turning right to wait for the next light, we faced Huntington park, its trees lit by colorful Christmas lights. They reminded me of the tree lighting ceremony that I had attended a month before Christmas. I had been relaxed then, enjoying the ceremony but awkward with myself. Now, I was apprehensive, but enjoying myself. The contrast between those two moments was profound. Focusing on my present circumstances, my thoughts went in a different direction.

Hmmm. I wish I could get rid of my nerves. What if I experiment with seeing myself as a girl for the evening, instead of seeing myself as a boy in a dress? Maybe I’ll feel normal and I can rela--

“You okay?” Julie checked while her mother was occupied by Megan and Jenny.

“Yeah. I was just noticing and thinking.” I smiled and nodded to reassure her. “Normally, I’m relaxed with the circumstances but nervous about myself. Now, I’m nervous about the circumstances but I’m relaxed with myself. It’s such a switch!”

“Wow. Then you’re already learning about yourself! That’s great!” she returned my smile.

“Yeah,” I nodded.

And I’m noticing that I’m not nervous around you anymore!

* * * * *

The light changed and we completed the short walk to The Tonga Room, a Polynesian restaurant at the Fairmont Hotel. My predicament began to feel even more real as we walked into the establishment packed with diners. I was worried about maintaining my cover, but I was glad to eat there. I loved the food.

The room was once an indoor swimming pool with a good amount of deck space. The pool was still there, but it was surrounded by a railing and now featured a floating stage that could be moved to one end of the pool for access and back to the center for performance. The restaurant was rich in Polynesian decor, with thatched roofs over the bar and several tables. The eatery was even capable of a simulated tropical storm that put on a five-minute show every thirty minutes. It was rigged to pump water from the pool into overhead pipes from which it downpoured back into the pool. During the first couple of minutes of each storm, it was just the rain. Then thunder and lightning effects would kick in for the remainder. It was always fun! Only this time, I was dressed as a girl and grateful in the extreme that the show included no wind to mess up my hair!

Our table was a short distance from the dance floor next to the bar. My seat turned out to afford the dancers a clear view of me, along with Julie, who sat at that end of the table. Julie’s mother occupied the other end of the table, at a ninety-degree angle to me.

“So, Amy, what’s new with you?” She chatted.

During the ride in the car, the girls had given me information to rattle off when questioned, so I knew what to say.

“Not that much, actually. We’re still settling into the new home, but I’ve almost got my new room set up.” I smiled, doing my best to imitate Amy’s voice and speech patterns.

“That’s great,” she congratulated.

Julie then jumped right into the discussion, perhaps to give me an excuse to turn my face away from her mother. “So, do you have more space now? Your old room was a closet!” That, I realized, was a clue.

“Yeah. My queen bed fits better now!” I ad-libbed, deciding that was a safe assumption. Anyway, the real Amy could always explain that she had measured improperly or had meant to say “full bed” or whatever size her bed really was.

“Amy, did you have your sister’s birthday dinner last night?” came Julie’s mother’s next inquiry, indicating that she was suddenly puzzled.

Julie fielded that one. “Yeah, Mom. They had a great time!” she lied.

“Yeah. What she said!” I blurted. All I had to do was smile and nod before I turned back to Julie.

That was how it went throughout the meal. I spoke only to Julie or Jenny, who was seated across from me, unless Julie’s mother spoke to me. Every time she did, the other girls managed to give me a subtle signal to tell me how Amy would answer. Julie would then comment and I would look over at her. It gave Julie’s mother minimal opportunity to look me over and, having no other expectation, she thought I was Amy the whole time. When that wasn’t going on, the other girls would take turns chatting with her.

I enjoyed hearing the wait staff address me as Miss. As I spent time with my girl friends, I realized that enjoying their friendship and their company was different as a girl in delightful ways. Before long, I needed the restroom. As girls do, I asked Julie to come with me.

As we rose to head in that direction, I realized a few things.

If I’d been here as a boy, I would have had to go alone. I would have felt cut off from the rest of the group... and now I can see that I’ve always felt that way. But as a girl, I have a friend with me and I feel like I’m part of the group, even going to the restroom. I feel so much more connected to them! I’ve been missing out on this part of my friends! I like it so much better this way. I don’t know if I want to go back to being a boy.

* * * * *

As I self-checked in the mirror, reapplying my lip gloss unbidden, waiting for Julie, my thoughts wandered again.

I feel like I’ve wasted a year of my life being afraid to keep my New Year’s Resolution to explore my feminine side, especially now that I have some good reasons to believe that the pretty girl in the mirror is who I really am. I’ll have to talk to Julie when we have more time.

Soon, she joined me at the sinks and, making sure we were alone, I spoke to her.

“You know, I think this may be the real me.” I murmured, looking her in the eyes. My face must have shown the weight of that realization.

“Wow. You know, now that you mention it, I think you might be right. I have kind of wondered, you know, even since before you made your New Year’s Resolution last year.” She sighed as she thought for a moment before echoing one of my own thoughts. “It’s like you’ve never been very comfortable with the boundaries that kind of have to be there between boys and girls because they both need them. Do you know what I mean?” She smiled at length.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “I had that same thought myself. Now that those boundaries are pretty much gone, at least for the night, it’s becoming so clear how much they’ve been keeping out.” I sighed.

“Yeah. Well, we’ll talk more, but right now, we’d better get back. I don’t want Mom to wonder what’s taking us so long because we don’t want to draw her attention to you. Come on,” she smiled, offering her hand.

“Yeah, let’s go back,” I took her hand and we left the restroom.

* * * * *

Julie’s mother glanced in our direction with a smile as we resumed our seats at the table, but Megan chatted her up while Julie began a private conversation with me. Just then, the next simulated storm began and Julie took advantage of the noise to lean close.

“By the way, I didn’t get a chance to ask. Are you having a good time?” She inquired.

“Yeah, I am. You know, I should probably tell the others about what we discussed, now that I think I know, I mean. I don’t want to have any secrets from my friends.” I hazarded. With that, the simulation sounded a thunder clap and flashed a strobe.

With a subtle tilt of her head and a suppressed smile, she nodded her understanding, trying not to giggle at the timing.

“Do you think—” I cut myself off to give myself a chance to lean close to Julie. “Do you think they’ll be okay with it?” I ventured, using the simulated rain to cover my voice.

“Yeah, they will. You know us; we don’t hate anyone.” She winked.

Just then Jenny’s eyebrows rose and she glanced at us, noting our secretive discussion, before focusing on me with a quizzical look on her face.

“What are you two talking about?” she queried, thankfully not loud enough to draw the attention of Julie’s mother, but glancing her way to ensure she was occupied with Megan.

“We’ll talk later,” I smiled.

Megan’s eyes had also flickered in our direction, but she was sharp enough to keep her discussion going with Julie’s mother. The simulated storm continued and I breathed a sigh of relief that it had covered my clandestine conversation with Julie. But it wasn't done doing so just yet! It was then that I felt a little girl grab my right arm with a giggle.

“Amy, come back to the table! We’re gonna have cake!” She beamed.

Dear God! Please tell me she’s looking for a different Amy!

I looked into the eyes of the eight-year-old as Julie spoke to her.

“Erm, hi, Emily! Happy Birthday!” Julie bid her.

“Thank you!” She smiled.

“I thought you guys were eating at Carlos and Pancho’s!” Julie investigated.

She shrugged, glancing at Julie. “Well, we were, but they had a fire today and they had to close. Daddy says they burned it down making my birthday cake, but he’s joking!” She giggled. “Anyway, we’re here now!” She smiled, self-satisfied. “I like this place better. Look at the storm!” As if on cue, another burst of thunder sounded, accompanied by fake lightning.

As I looked at Julie for answers, noting the uncomfortable expression that she did her best to hide, she understood my question. “Oh. I should introduce you. Emily is Amy’s little sister.” She introduced with a smile, making Emily look at me with a bewildered expression. Staring at Julie, I felt my eyes widen and I instantly smiled to hide my startled expression.

“Oh, my goodness! Happy Birthday, Emily!” I looked back at Emily.

“Thank you,” she beamed. “Come on, Amy!” She tugged at my arm.

Shit! I’d better think fast!

“Erm, sweetheart? I’m not Amy. My name’s Dylan,” I used my own name, glancing at Julie. That way, if Emily mentioned my name to Amy – which she would, of course – it would trigger no alarms. Since Emily didn’t know that I was a boy, she would notice nothing amiss, either, beyond the resemblance to her sister. Hopefully. She took a close look at me and nodded to herself.

“You’re right! I’m the silly one. Sorry!” She laughed, blushing. “I better go now! I gotta blow out my candles!”

With that, she scampered back to her table, which I couldn’t see, perhaps in the back corner somewhere. The storm ended and I started to calm down with relief. Alas, just as I thought the crisis was over, Jenny stifled a soft gasp and cleared her throat. With her eyes, she gestured behind Julie’s mother, where I spotted Amy approaching from a little ways off. I grabbed Julie to “talk in the restroom” and intercept Amy before she got near our table.

This just might work out after all!

“Hey! Did I see my sister stop by your table?” She laughed, making eye contact with Julie. Then she saw me and did a double-take, her eyes bulging.

“Whoa!!” she blurted.

“Hi, Amy.” I smiled, before explaining our antics at Julie’s house before we rushed to the restaurant. I shrugged, acting natural in hopes that she would follow my lead, which she did.

“Well, I have to admit we look more alike than I thought, especially when you’re stealing my look, you bitch!” she giggled, getting us started. “It’s kind of scary, actually.”

I shrugged in embarrassment.

“Yeah, it is! Anyway, we need to get to the restroom and back to the table before my mother looks this way. Otherwise, Dylan’s cover is blown! We’ll fill you in on the rest of the night later!” Julie coordinated.

She hugged Amy, who then hugged me. “You look terrific!” she smiled.

“Thanks!” I grinned.

With that, we parted ways.

* * * * *

After a quick visit to the restroom to freshen our lip gloss for an appearance of legitimacy to our departure, we returned to the table. Julie’s mother didn’t seem to notice anything.

Gawd! I really hope nothing else happens! I’ve had enough close calls for one night!

Before I knew it, we finished our entrees, passed on desert, paid the bill, and headed for the exit. I breathed a sigh of relief that I had made it through the meal. Julie locked arms with me and whispered, “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m okay. I’m still... enjoying being a girl, but... phew! Too many close calls already!” I murmured under my breath.

“Yeah. Well, we’re out of here. We’ll be home soon. When we get there... let’s see...” she thought for a moment. “As soon as either Jenny or Megan gets picked up, we’ll stall long enough to change you back and pretend that Amy got a ride home with whoever it is. Either one will work. Anyway, then we’ll sneak you out of the house and you’ll be home free!” she strategized.

“Yeah. That’ll be good,” I shook my head, as if disagreeing with myself. I’ll be a boy again... back to being cut off from my friends by those boy-girl boundaries that will keep it that way.

“We’ll talk at home.” Julie promised.

* * * * *

Thirty minutes later, we gathered in Julie’s room to discuss what had been held back for later discussion. We made ourselves comfortable, except for Jenny, who headed for the door to make sure the coast was clear and close it. Alas, she didn’t get there before Julie’s mother stepped into the room, closed the door behind her, and leaned on it.

Uh oh. What is happening?

“Hello, girls.” She flashed a Cheshire grin. “If I may say so, Dylan, you are so convincing as Amy that it wasn't even you who blew your cover. Emily did when she ran up to grab your arm. The poor kid had no idea what she was doing. Anyway, that was what tipped me off.”

I felt my face blanche. “Erm. Thank you?”

“You’re welcome! Now, I don’t have any problem with you... enjoying femininity as it were, but... may I ask why you’ve graced us with the presence of your feminine alter ego this evening?” She probed.

“Well, we were going to do some talking. So here it is. On New Year’s Eve, not a few days ago but last year, I mean, erm, I made a New Year’s Resolution to explore my feminine side because I have suspected for a while that... I’m a girl.” I began. “But I couldn’t bring myself to do anything about it. The events that took place before we left for dinner tonight... well, they pushed me into it and... I finally carried out my year-old resolution.” I smiled at Julie. “I learned a lot tonight. A lot became clear, including who I really am.”

“Well, it’s certainly been an eventful night for you!” Julie’s mother marveled. “I must admit, you seemed to have a delightful time at the restaurant and, what the hell, I suppose that a girl’s night out is a perfect time to explore your feminine side.” She shrugged with a smile.

“Yeah! And now I see how different it is, how much better it is to be with my friends as a girl! I don’t want it to stop. Ever.” I choked up.

“Well, I don’t know that it has to. It’s time you brought this to your parents, if you haven’t already, and you’ll need to talk to a specialist who can help you sort this out, but you may well be right about who you are.” Julie’s mother smiled.

“Yeah, I think I am. And I will.” I grinned.

“Alright, I’ll leave you girls alone now,” she bobbed her head before she departed the room, closing the door behind her.

“Okay, Dylan. Now it’s my turn to talk. I need to tell you something... well, all of you, I guess.” Julie swallowed.

Oh no. What is she going to tell me?

“Okay. I’m listening. We all are. No pressure or anything.” I tittered, getting her started.

“Okay, okay. Here it is.” She took a breath. “Dylan, that last-minute rush before dinner came out of nowhere. None of us planned that.”

“I know?” my brow furrowed in confusion.

“But you made that New Year’s Resolution to explore your feminine side a little more than a year ago, and like you said, you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything about it. So, I decided to give you a little push by dressing you up tonight. That’s why the shoes look brand new, because they are.”

Seeing my face as I processed, she hastened to continue, “N-now, I didn’t tell the others about your New Year’s Resolution until now because I knew I didn’t have your permission, but I also knew that they’d have fun dressing you up. Like I said, we’re not haters.” She took a breath. “Once you were dressed, I was going to invite you to come out with us as a girl to explore yourself because you really have to live it. You can’t do that here. But I would never just spring it on you or force you into it. Mom really did lose track of the time and, well, we got caught up in turning you into Amy,” she giggled, making us all start.

She took a breath. “Anyway, Dylan, real friends do push you to step out of your comfort zone so that you can grow. Or heal. It’s just that real friends go with you and they take care of you along the way.” she smiled.

“Okay. I will admit that I needed that push, so thank you for that.” I embraced her and she returned the sentiment.

“Hey, Dylan?” she murmured in my ear, still clutching me.

“Yeah?” I responded as she pulled back far enough to look me in the eyes, our arms still holding each another.

“It’s my turn to make a New Year’s Resolution. From now on, I have got to give us a lot more time or just pick another time altogether.” She giggled. “I don’t want to surprise you like that again. I mean, with Amy’s family showing up at the Tonga Room, we took too much risk and we did it without really having your consent to leave the house as a girl. I-I really don’t like that.” Her face turned serious.

“Well, me either, but it couldn’t be helped.” I shrugged, letting it go. “Anyway, don’t worry about it. I did consent to being dressed up and even to being turned into Amy.” Cue the fresh round of giggles. “Besides, I had to do this eventually, so why not tonight, surrounded by my friends?”

“Yeah, you might as well,” Megan smiled.

“Besides, it was fun!” Jenny chimed in.

With that, I knew I was going to continue being myself, with their help.

I really am going to be a whole new person this year!

* * * * * The End * * * * *

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Hope in the Storm

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

Mature Subjects (pg15)

Publication:

500 < Short Story < 7500 words

Genre:

Mystery or Suspense

Character Age:

Mature / Thirty+

Other Keywords:

surrealism

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Karen watched the rain pelt the living room window, transfixed by the embodiment of her torment in the wrath of the storm. Lightning split the charcoal sky and the house trembled with an almighty thunderclap.

Hope in the Storm
by Monalisa

Author's Note: This is a different kind of story for me. It does not feature transgender themes. I wrote it for a local "open mic" where I read it today. I am thinking of expanding it somewhat since some things are not abundantly explained. I hope you like it!

HOPE IN THE STORM

Karen watched the rain pelt the living room window, transfixed by the embodiment of her torment in the wrath of the storm. Lightning split the charcoal sky and the house trembled with an almighty thunderclap.

Karen’s eyes fell from the heavens to the earth, where she gazed upon a swollen river overrunning its banks and inundating the roads. She marveled as an enormous tree that defied nature for a hundred years splintered in the wind and fell across her driveway. Karen watched the flames in the fireplace dance in the window’s reflection, and found that she was no longer alone. She spun around to find a woman standing in the middle of the room.

The woman was exquisitely beautiful. Her enormous blue eyes sparkled with the lightning. Her long, wavy strawberry blonde hair glowed by the light of the flames in the fireplace. Her serenity seemed out of place amidst the thunder that pounded the rafters.

Karen stared at the stranger standing in her living room, utterly astounded, wondering where the hell she had come from. The roads were blocked. What kind of a fucking idiot would be out in this weather anyhow! And she’s bone dry! How the hell did she pull that off? Most importantly of all-

“How did you get in here?” Karen demanded.

“I am always here.”

Karen’s brow furrowed and she took a step back.

“What in the fuck are you talking about? Who are you?”

“My name is Hope.”

Karen crossed her arms and looked sternly at Hope.

“Well, Hope, this is my house. That means I live here and, um, you don’t!” Karen snarled.

Hope chuckled good-naturedly.

“Well, of course not! I live within you.”

Karen pinched the bridge of her nose as she sighed with exasperation.

“I’m sorry. Could you please make some fucking sense?”

Hope smiled at her serenely.

“I am Hope.”

“Yeah, I know your name. You already told me-”

“No, Karen. I am Hope.”

Karen gawped at her as the color drained from her face.

“How do you know my name?”

“As I said, I dwell within you. I am a part of your soul that you haven’t been very familiar with. I am Hope.”

Karen looked around the room with a bewildered expression on her face.

“Ugh… so are you actually trying to tell me that you are Hope Itself — and that I have somehow… summoned you up?”

“Now you’re getting it.” Hope smiled warmly.

Karen hugged herself tightly.

“Oh. Well, in that case, tell me, Hope. Where the fuck have you been? Where the fuck were you all those nights I cried alone, when I needed a hug and no-one was there?” She wiped her tears.

“I have always been here.”

“Yeah? Well, then how come I’ve never fucking seen you before! Why is that?”

“You’ve only just learned to see me.”

“Wh… wh… now?? After all the shit I’ve been through?? Now I can see you?? Why couldn’t I have seen you a long time ago??”

“You were not ready yet.”

“Not ready? Not ready?? Lady, I would love to have seen you years ago!”

“It’s not that simple.”

Karen glared at Hope, wiping another tear.

“And what do you mean by that?” She spat, her emotions winding down.

“You have been unable to see me because you have been unable to find a way forward. You have found no way forward because you have not been ready to proceed. But now you are.”

“Huh??” Karen uttered, noticing that the room was suddenly ten times brighter.

“Look out the window.”

Karen stared at Hope until she heard a bird singing. Karen’s head whipped around as she gazed out the window and found the storm completely gone. The river flowed normally and the roads were dry. The sun was shining, and she could see the bird singing in a nearby tree — the same tree that had been destroyed moments earlier but now stood as though the wind had never touched it.

“What the hell?” Karen murmured.

She abruptly looked back at Hope.

“D-did you just do that?”

Hope chuckled again.

“Of course not. I can only do what you can do.”

“Then… how did… I-I mean the roads were… impassable and… the tree…”

“Those roads were never blocked, Karen. You only saw them that way.”

“Wh… what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you brewed up that storm - and you cleared it away.”

“I did??”

“Yes, Karen. You did.”

“Excuse me. Sense please!!”

“The storm was only a manifestation of your torment. When you learned to see Hope, you also learned to see that manifestation for what it was, and therefore to banish it. You also learned to see that the roads were always passable.”

Karen softly gasped.

“My God! I had no idea… that I was… doing that.”

“Now you know. Well, Karen, you have things to do. You’d better finish this story.”

“Yeah… yeah, I do. Sorry I was such a screaming bitch.”

Karen went to Hope and hugged her tightly, marveling that she could feel the arms of Hope around her.

“That’s okay. I understand. But, remember, Karen, the roads are always open and I am always here. All you have to do is look.” Hope smiled at her.

Karen took a long sip of her coffee as she glanced out the window at the sunny skies, and listened to the bird sing. She saved her newest story on her laptop and smiled at the screen.

“Thanks, Hope. I’ll try to remember that.”

THE END

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

How Kelly Met Lisa

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

17,500 < Novella < 40,000 words

Genre:

Transgender

Character Age:

Preteen or Intermediate

TG Themes:

Other Keywords:

Special bond between twins

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Everything began during my sister Dierdre’s slumber party one Friday night. My twin sister, Kirsten, was away for the night at a friend’s house. The only other person in the house was my single mom, and she had to leave on business.

Dierdre’s party was fairly small. There were only three other girls there, Alexis, Karen and Caitlin. I could usually find something else to do, but when there were pretty girls in the house they would command my attention and pique my curiosity. I had never spied on my sister before today, but I couldn’t resist. She and her friends were pretty and I always loved to see what they were wearing and how they did their hair.

The girls all arrived around noon. Because my mom had to be away on business that night, my sister had had to negotiate with her to have the slumber party. My mom asked who would be present at the party and when Dierdre listed the names of the three girls that she’d invited, Mom recognized them as good kids, not the trouble making sort at all. Satisfied that they could be trusted, she allowed the party. She asked Dierdre what they would be doing for dinner and she said that Alexis’ mom was picking them up and taking them to dinner. Mom figured that was good; it meant that we’d have adult supervision at least part of the time. She left money so that Dierdre could pay for herself, her friends and me and warned her not to leave me home alone at night or else. She said that if Dierdre would prefer I go to a friend’s for dinner instead of having dinner with the girls then that would be all right too.

She would have preferred, obviously, that the five of us not be left alone for the night but it was hard being a single mom and even harder to find a sitter when her office sent her on business with twenty-four hours' notice, so at times she was forced to take more liberties than she would care to. So, she left a list of the neighbors that we knew and their addresses and phone numbers just in case. She left to catch her plane before the girls arrived.

Dierdre let me have lunch with them but after they cleaned up, they went off to Dierdre’s room. I always knew that whenever she was in there, she generally wanted privacy. Her room was where she usually withdrew when she didn’t want to be bothered by her noisy, bratty little brother.
I was still enthralled by the pretty girls and I walked silently by Dierdre’s room and into my own so that I could see if she left the door open. She did. It was open a foot or so. I could hear them talking and laughing. I walked back downstairs silently and crept up to the top of the stairs so that only my head was above the stairs. My sister was facing in my direction and she was the only one I could see very well. She had noticed me walking back and forth past the door and was therefore now keeping an eye out for me. She caught me spying quite quickly.

“What are you doing, you little brat?!”

Uh oh. Busted! I ran downstairs and she stood at the top of the stairs and shouted after me not to spy on them again. I waited perhaps five minutes, crept up the stairs, again leaving only my head visible. Dierdre was still keeping an eye out for me and caught me quickly again. I began to run downstairs, hearing her warning me not to spy one more time or else!

I was about halfway down the stairs when Dierdre walked back into her room and told her friends that if I spied on them one more time she would dress me up as a girl, lock me out of my room and leave me that way the rest of the night and maybe then I’d behave! The girls all giggled at her. She had issued her threat rather loudly and I suspected that she had fully intended for me to hear it. Then I heard Alexis encouraging her, telling her how funny it would be, how cute I would be in a pretty dress and how I would look completely like a girl with my shoulder-length hair. They began to laugh.

Dierdre could indeed lock me out of my room since all of the bedroom doors in the house had double-cylindered deadbolts when we moved in and we’d never bothered to change them. We always kept each key on the inside of the door plus a spare in Mom’s office downstairs.
As for dressing me up as a girl, my twin sister Kirsten was about the same size as me, so Dierdre would have no trouble finding girls’ clothes for me to wear.

Dierdre wasn’t the type to threaten. She was a good kid like her friends. Thus, I figured that she must be quite serious about her threat. So, when Dierdre threatened to dress me up like a girl and lock me out of my room if I spied on them one more time, I knew at once that I would deliberately provoke Dierdre into carrying out her threat.

There was one thing that Dierdre didn’t know. I really liked the idea of being dressed as a girl. I hadn’t grown my hair long for nothing! It was my intention to get completely dressed up like a girl someday when I was home alone, and that was not infrequently. A couple of months back, while home alone, I had walked into Kristen’s room, pulled out a pair of her tights, and put them on over my own underwear. They felt wonderful. She had left her denim skirt on her bed and so I put that on, too. I kept my own t-shirt on, but I had fun putting my hair in girls’ pony tails and braiding it while I looked at myself in the mirror.

I thought about how much fun it would be if Dierdre and her friends dressed me as a girl and locked me out of my room. I would have an excuse to be dressed as a girl all day right out in front of all of them and they would think it was Dierdre’s idea! I couldn’t resist, I just couldn’t. Now, I really didn’t like the part about bothering Dierdre so much, but I resolved that after this last time “Dierdre’s plan” would be in motion and I wouldn’t do it again.

I crept back up the stairs so my whole head was showing above the landing again. Sure enough, Dierdre saw me for the last time and ran after me, followed closely by her friends.

“That’s it! Get up here! I’m going to turn you into a girl!”

The other girls howled with laughter as they ran after me, excited at the prospect of dressing up Dierdre’s little brother in girls’ clothes.

“I’m going to make you wear tights, little sister!”

I had to fight to keep myself from smiling. I was hoping she would make me wear tights -- I loved tights! I made a show of running into the living room, but I made myself trip on the edge of the rug and fall down so that they could catch me. All four girls pounced on me at once.

“All right, little sister! I hope you like being a girl! Let’s bring her upstairs, girls!”
“Oh no!”
“Oh yes!”

They giggled as they dragged me up the stairs and I pretended to resist -- just enough to be believable. They brought me into Dierdre’s room and Dierdre locked her door and put her key in the pocket of her Capri pants while the other three girls held me. I decided I’d better start pretending that I didn’t want to get dressed up as a girl — even though that was exactly what I wanted!

“Uh oh! I’m screwed!”
“You’re very screwed, little sister!”

Dierdre’s friends giggled at Dierdre calling me her sister.

“Hold him for a minute. I’ll be right back!”

She left the room and locked her door behind her.

“Hey, why are we locked in here?”

They began to laugh at Dierdre. She was back fairly quickly. She held up a pink bra and a pink pair of panties that were both satin. She brought them over to me and held them both up for her friends to see.

“These will look precious on you, won’t they girls?”

They all cracked up again.

“Yes!”
“Hold him, girls.”
“Uh oh!”

They held me tightly while my sister stripped me down to my underwear. She walked into her bathroom and grabbed a towel from the rack. She brought it back into her room, wrapped it around my waist, reached under it and pulled off my underwear.

“If you give me any trouble, little sister, I swear to God I’ll take the towel away and make you stand there naked.”

I hadn’t seen that one coming, but fortunately, I had no intention of resisting anyway. She picked up the panties and slid them on me, pulling them up to my waist under the towel. When she was done, she took the towel away and there I was, standing in front of the girls naked except for a pair of pink, satin panties. I was still only eleven and so my crotch looked just like a girl’s with the panties flattening me out. They laughed out loud at me.

“If you like that, girls, then wait ‘til you see this!”

She put the bra on me, adjusting the straps and stuffing the small cups with tissue paper. Then she took the rubber band from my pony tail and let my hair hang down long. She grabbed her brush and brushed out my hair. I was really beginning to feel like a girl and had to work at hiding the fact that I was enjoying it so much.

“Okay, girls, you can let her go. She can’t go anywhere. A pretty girl like you needs to wear pretty nail polish!”

They laughed at me some more as Dierdre picked out some reddish pink nail polish and put it on all of my nails. I wasn’t resisting. I had been hoping she would go absolutely all out, and now it seemed that I was getting my wish! A few minutes later the nail polish was dry.

“Whaddya know, sis, you look a lot like a girl already!”

Dierdre’s friends laughed at me. I gave an obligatory resigned sigh to keep them convinced that I didn’t want to do this. In fact, I couldn’t think of anything I would rather do then get dressed up as a girl and hang out with other girls.

“Now then, I’m going to go and get you your dress.”

Her friends cracked up again. She opened her bedroom door, walked out, and locked the door behind her. Something occurred to Alexis and she spoke her mind.

“You do realize that she just locked us all in here again.”

The other girls chuckled. They chatted amongst themselves about what would probably look best on me. Karen took a shot.

“He would look so cute in a nice satin party dress.”

Alexis spoke again.

“You mean ‘she’.”

The other girls cracked up. Alexis came up with an idea they could work on while they waited for Dierdre to return with my girl clothes. I sat silently on the bed in my bra and panties, listening to them have fun at my expense.

“You know what, girls? I think maybe our new little girl needs a pretty little name. How about Ashley?”
“Nah, some guys have that name. We need something exclusively girly… like Elizabeth.”
“Or Brittany!”

They all laughed. I decided to just keep my mouth shut and deliberately flinch every time I heard a girl’s name just to keep convincing them.

“How about Lisa?”
“I like Lisa!”
“Me too!”
“Okay, Lisa, I hope you like your new name.”

I loved my new name, but I didn’t tell them that. Finally, Dierdre came back to her room, unlocked her door, entered, and relocked the door. She was holding Kirsten’s pink duffle bag.

“Hey Dierdre, we just named our little girl Lisa!”

Dierdre burst out laughing.

“Awww, what a pretty name! I’m going to love calling you Lisa! Time to get dressed, Lisa!”

Deirdre pulled out a pink, organza sleeveless dress that had a floral pattern with medium sized flowers in it and a wide pink satin sash around the waist. I thought it was the cutest dress I had ever seen. If I had been a girl out shopping with my mother I would have begged her to let me get it. I couldn’t wait to put it on!

“Put your dress on!”

Those were the magic words! When Dierdre unzipped the back and held it out I didn’t hesitate. I had to be careful not to take it from her too quickly and give away my enjoyment. I stepped carefully into the dress, zipped up the back and smoothed it out without being asked to. Dierdre tied the sash for me in a pretty bow behind my back.

“Now for the best part. Sit on the bed.”
“Okay.”

While the other girls watched Dierdre rummage in the bag for the next item, I sat obediently on the bed, sweeping up my dress from under me, anticipating the next item with inward excitement. Dierdre brought out the next item.

“You know what’s next, don’t you?”
“No, not really.”
“Tights!”

The girls laughed and applauded as she held them up. I was so excited I could barely control myself.

“These aren’t just cotton or wool either. They’re nylon so you’ll feel as girly as possible!”

To think that she believed that I would hate them! I was so thrilled that I was starting to have trouble containing myself. I hoped that nobody would notice.

“I’ll put these on you.”
“Okay.”

I knew how to put them on since I’d worn Kirsten’s tights several times now, but I wasn’t about to tell them. I let Dierdre put them on me. She bunched up one leg, put it on my right foot and pulled that leg up past my knee. Then she did the same with the other leg. Finally, she eased them up all the way to my waist and dropped the hem of my pretty dress. They were see-through and they looked so pretty and felt so nice that I could hardly stand it! I was in girly heaven! I tried to look bummed out and hoped to gawd that I was doing it well.

Dierdre reached into the bag again and pulled out a pair of white leather shoes. They had a pocket for the front of my feet from the ball forward, a second pocket just for my heels, a strap that crossed the ankle, and just the open sole between the two pockets. The shoes had a wide one and a half inch heel to them as well.

“Let’s see you put these cuties on, sis! I picked out heels for you to make you feel even more girly!”
“Okay, I’ll give it a shot.”

I deliberately fumbled for a few seconds to make myself look inexperienced and got them on. They seemed to fit nicely. They felt really nice over the tights. The girls began playfully cat calling me.

“Damn, Lisa! You're looking hot, babe!”

While I tried to seem embarrassed, Dierdre decided she wanted to parade me around in my new heels.

“Stand up, Lisa, and walk around the room a little bit.”

I happily obliged her. I took it slowly, but the wide heels were pretty easy to get used to and I was walking smoothly. How much fun this was! The girls cat called me some more and I couldn’t help myself any longer. I burst out laughing myself. Dierdre was surprised, to say the least.

“Why, Lisa, what’s this now? Are you enjoying being dressed like a girl?”
“Shut up! I can laugh! Although…”
“Yes, sister Lisa?”

We all laughed at Dierdre’s latest one liner.

“I was going to say that it’s probably not funny for a girl when a guy does that out in public. Actually, a girl would probably feel as embarrassed as a boy walking around in a dress.”
“You’re right, Lisa. It’s not so funny for a girl. I’m impressed that you understand that. Maybe I’ve underestimated you over the years. The night will tell.”

Dierdre gave me a devilish smile and we all laughed at her. I hoped that I would still be laughing later. Oh well, I knew that I would enjoy anything having to do with dressing as a girl — well, almost anything! I was having so much fun already.

“Okay, Lisa. You’re looking good and you’re almost done. I just need to do a few more things. First, let me French braid your hair.”

The girls burst out laughing again. I did too.

“My, Lisa, you really are enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“I am not! Laughter’s contagious even when you’re humiliated, okay?”
“Well, I suppose there’s something to be said for having a sense of humor during difficult times. I’ll give you that.”

Dierdre was quite good at French braiding hair and she was done in no time. She finished it off by tying a pretty pink ribbon in a bow to hide the rubber hand that was holding it all together. I now had the most beautiful French braid going down behind my head. I was so pleased!

“Okay, cutie, it’s time for a little makeup to make you look your girly best!”

Dierdre put a little foundation on my face, then mascara, eyeliner, light eye shadow, lipstick, and light blush. As a final way of making me feel girly, she got out some of her jewelry. She put a gold necklace on me with a small round pendant into which an amethyst was set and slid a gold ring with three small amethysts onto my finger. Last, she added some small gold clip-on hoop earrings.

“Okay, Lisa. You’re all dressed up for the night. Come here.”

She led me over to her full length mirror. The girls all applauded at me.

“You look so pretty, Lisa!”

We all laughed again, but when I saw myself I was stunned. My breath caught in my chest. My mouth hung slightly open. I looked so pretty that I couldn’t believe it. The dress was pretty, my tights were pretty, my French braided hair was pretty and my face was pretty with the makeup on. Even my jewelry looked pretty. I looked and felt beautiful. There was no sign at all that I wasn’t a girl.

It was now 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

“Okay, girls. Make sure Lisa doesn’t try to leave. I just have a few more things to do before we let her leave the room. I’ll be right back.”

They laughed again as Dierdre picked up all of my boy clothes and put them in an empty trash bag she’d had in her desk. I was still too distracted by my own reflection to laugh. Being a pretty girl felt wonderful!

“You know what, Lisa? I like you as a girl. Maybe I should throw all of your boy clothes in the garbage and make you stay a girl forever!”

We all cracked up. I kept laughing even after the other girls stopped.

“What, you like that idea? That can be arranged, you know!”

I made myself stop laughing now. I would love it if she did get rid of all of my boy stuff. Heck, for all I cared she could put all of my clothes in the fireplace and burn them. I’d never really liked boy stuff anyway.
Dierdre unlocked her door, left the room, and locked the door behind her again. Alexis decided not the pass up on the opportunity to crack another one liner.

“Yeah. We’re locked in here again.”

Caitlin spoke up, too.

“Yeah, that’s the third time she’s done that!”

Alexis continued cracking jokes.

“‘Hi, Honey! What did you do at Dierdre’s house?’ ‘Oh, she locked us in her room all night!’ Dierdre, you donut!”

We broke up into laughter. I wasn’t sure if Dierdre was supposed to hear that until she did and we heard her crack up. Then we all cracked up.
For the next five minutes or so, the girls made me parade around the room for them and they made me learn how to curtsy. Then Dierdre returned, entered the room, and locked the door again.

“Lisa, do you want to show Dierdre your pretty new curtsy?”

Dierdre burst out laughing again. I pretended to be very sheepish as I demonstrated my newfound femininity for her. They all cat called a bit more.

“Okay, Lisa. Here’s the deal. I have taken all of your clothes — including everything of yours from the laundry room. All of your stuff is now in your room and the door is now locked. I have removed all of the bathrobes and towels from all of the bathrooms except for the small hand towels. I have also removed the sheets, blankets and towels from the linen closet. I have removed the coats from the closet downstairs. In short, I’ve confiscated anything you could possibly wear — other than girl clothes, that is. I’ve put it all in Mom’s room which, again, is now locked. Kirsten’s room is also locked so you can’t wear her comforter all day. I took the spare keys from downstairs and I have placed them around my neck. I’m keeping all the keys on my person until I feel like letting you be a boy again and that will be midnight at the very earliest.”

The girls whooped and cheered through their laughter at Dierdre’s dominion and the thought of me locked out of my own room and dressed as a girl for ten hours in tights and everything. They were having fun and they were glad that it would continue for the rest of the day, though I was much happier about it than they were! I had accomplished my goal. I got to be dressed like a girl right in front of them all day long and they thought it was all Dierdre’s idea! Part of me wished that she would never again return the key to my room. That was the part of me that wished that I had been born a girl. I was absolutely in love with my “predicament”.

“Now then, my friends and I would like some private time for a while, so if you wouldn’t mind leaving my room, we would appreciate it.”
“Okay, I’ll leave you girls alone. Even though I am one now.” We all laughed. “I know it will be hard without having a boy dressed as a girl in the room, but have fun, girls.”

I turned to leave the room and as I walked past Dierdre sprayed her perfume in the air right in front of me so that I walked right through it. The girls cracked up at me and I laughed with them. I left the room smelling sweetly of girl’s perfume and Dierdre closed and locked her door behind me. I decided to keep up appearances by testing my door. It was definitely locked. I heard them giggle at me. I smiled a big smile. I got to be dressed as a girl all day right in front of the other girls! I was having a blast.

I wanted to see myself in a mirror again so I walked happily downstairs to the family room, where one entire wall was covered with floor-to-ceiling mirrors to make the room look bigger. That room always had a lot of light in it so it would be the perfect place!

I stood in front of the mirror looking at myself for a while, admiring my new girly look. I loved the way the tights looked and felt and I adored my dress. My hair looked and felt wonderful. I loved my perfume, too. I tilted my head to one side and smiled. I really did look like a happy little girl. I twirled around to see what I looked like from behind and stopped facing the mirror again. I took off my shoes so that I could see my toes in the tights. Then I wiggled them like a girl might. I walked across the room and stood there for a few minutes to see what I looked like from a distance, tilting my head again and holding my necklace with one hand. Then I walked towards my reflection in the mirror. I decided to practice walking like a girl for a little while, keeping one ear aimed at the stairs in case the girls came downstairs. I had once found a site on the internet that told me how and I had practiced in Kirsten’s room while wearing her tights. I took smaller steps, wiggled my butt more, and swung my arms only from the elbows. I was really starting to look like a girl walking across the room -- at least to me. I smiled again. I brought a chair over from the table near the window and placed it in front of the mirror so that I could see myself sit down. I swept my dress out from under me as I sat down, watching myself do it. I looked just like a girl sitting down. I smiled. I stretched out my legs towards the mirror so that I could get a good look at my tights. I crossed my legs first at the ankles and then at the knees. I smiled with joy.

I decided to turn on the TV to a movie so that I wouldn’t be too quiet. If Dierdre was anything like our mother then silence would make her curious. I selected a movie that was pretty good, but not one of my top favorites because I knew I wouldn’t really be watching it anyway. Then I returned the chair to the table and selected a spot on the couch from which I could see my reflection. I sat down like a girl again to watch the show, but I kept looking at myself in the mirror. I was enthralled with the way I looked — and smelled. I couldn’t get over it.
After about half an hour I decided I wanted to walk outside in the backyard, but I was nervous the girls would come down and catch me. Then I got an idea how to gain myself the freedom I needed to go out in the backyard without losing track of where my sister and her friends were at any time. We had an old baby monitor that one of our senile old relatives had given us about ten years too late. Mom had occasionally used it to monitor the front door while working in the basement or the backyard if she was expecting someone. The baby monitor was in the closet in the basement. I wouldn’t be able to hear Dierdre and her friends from down there, so I would have to move quickly. I thought about exactly where it was so I wouldn’t have to look around. Then I crept downstairs to retrieve it. It was just where I had expected, so I grabbed it and hustled back upstairs, making sure to stay quiet. I crept towards the bottom of the stairs and checked to make sure they were still upstairs. I could still hear them laughing, probably at me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

The baby monitor needed batteries. Fortunately, Mom usually kept a good supply on hand. In no time, I had fresh batteries in the handset. I turned off the handset and left it downstairs. Then I took the base, crept upstairs and placed it behind a box on the floor beneath the hall table. Then I silently plugged it in and turned it on. It was less than ten feet from Dierdre’s door and that would be close enough.
I crept back down to the family room and turned on the handset. I could hear them well enough to know if they left Dierdre’s room. In fact, I could hear them too well and I didn’t want to eavesdrop on their conversation. I fiddled with the squelch until their conversation became too garbled to understand. I thought I might find it interesting, but it wasn’t nice to spy on my sister — and I had already bothered her enough. Besides, if they were planning anything else it would be more fun to be surprised.

Dierdre’s room faced the front of the house and the back of our house was pretty darn private. So, armed with the baby monitor and leaving the TV on, I ventured outside into the backyard and sat outside for a few minutes. I had been careful to bring a few paper towels to sit on so I wouldn’t get my dress dirty. I had also made sure I could sit in the shade. If the girls saw new color in my face they would know I’d been outside. I couldn’t afford to get even a little bit of a tan. It felt very weird but very wonderful to be outside dressed as a girl. It had been enjoyably surreal enough inside. Now I was starting to feel like a real girl. I could hear cars passing by in front of the house and I pretended everyone in them could see me dressed as a girl. I was sorely tempted to walk out front and down the street but even if my sister and her friends didn’t see me, I thought a neighbor might and then everybody would know that I enjoy dressing as a girl and Dierdre might get in trouble. I had deliberately provoked Dierdre into dressing me as a girl and locking me out of my room, so it would be especially evil to get her in trouble for it.

I was plenty happy just knowing that I got to be a girl all day in full view of my sister and her friends. I smiled at the thought of it. How I was savoring this day! After about half an hour, I decided to go back inside so that I wouldn’t get my dress dirty — another sure giveaway that I’d been outside.

Next, I decided to walk up to the hallway right outside Kirsten’s room, where there was a floor-to-ceiling window with a sheer curtain on it. I felt confident enough that anyone looking in wouldn’t be able to see well enough to make out my face and would think I was Kirsten. Before I got to the top of the stairs, I turned the volume on the baby monitor way down so that my sister wouldn’t hear her voice echoing up and down the hallway. I stood in front of that window watching cars go by, pretending that the whole neighborhood could see me dressed as a girl. I smiled.

* * * * *

The girls were having some very productive private time indeed. They were talking all about Lisa!

“Wow, that was the most fun I’ve ever had!” Alexis was beaming with delight and the others agreed with her.
“That was totally the best!”

Alexis hadn’t had enough of seeing me dressed as a girl by a long shot.

“We should make Lisa go outside!”
“No, that’s going too far.”
“Are you sure, Dierdre? I think your little sister down there is actually enjoying being dressed as a girl!”
“Do you think so, Alexis? I thought I got a vibe while I was dressing her up but that doesn’t mean much on its own. What do you think?”
“I think it was too easy to catch her. She ran into your living room when we were chasing her and that’s a dead end. She could have run around the bottom floor and back up to her room — or even out the back door or something. That’s kind of a stupid thing to do and Lisa’s a lot smarter than that. Still, I guess she could have been just blindly running.”
“Well, you know, Alexis, every time I caught her spying on us she was sitting exactly where I could see her. First, I saw her walk past the door a couple of times but then she just sat there on the stairs and basically stared at me. It didn’t seem like she was trying very hard not to get caught…” Dierdre sat up straight. “…which could mean that–“
“She wanted to get caught, yes! And you all saw the way she started laughing at herself while she was already dressed as a girl and we were cat calling her.”

Alexis had scored another point and Dierdre was beginning to agree with her.

“Yes and I could swear that she was actually excited when she first saw the dress and again when I pulled out the tights to put on her.”

Alexis was getting excited now.

“Really? That’s so funny! I didn’t notice that, but you’re her sister, so you would know better than me.”
“Yeah — oh, and she put the dress on pretty quickly and even zipped it up and smoothed it out without being asked to. Then she held it up before she sat down, like a girl. What was that all about?”
“Don’t forget her girly long hair!”

Everyone laughed at Caitlin’s comment. Dierdre had noticed one more thing.

“Did you see her face when she saw herself in the mirror?”
“I did!”
“What did you think, Alexis?”
“I think she loved it!”
“I kind of thought the same thing, actually!”
“Oh, and Dierdre, we all saw how she laughed when you sprayed her with your perfume — nice touch, by the way!”

They laughed again.

“So we’re agreed, then?”
“Well, Alexis, we’re still not positive — or at least, I’m still not positive. But, I do think we’re agreed that it’s definitely possible and even likely that Lisa wanted me to dress her up as a girl and lock her out of her room and that she provoked me to do it on purpose!”

They were at the razor’s edge of knowing everything. Devious Alexis had a thought cross her mind that got her really excited.

“Hey everyone, I just thought of something! There are ways we can test her. We’re going out to a restaurant for dinner tonight and Dierdre can’t leave her home alone at night!”

At first the other girls became slightly disappointed that there was a problem with their plans, but when Alexis finished what she had to say, they cheered right up!

“No, no, no, this could be great! Think about it! Wouldn’t it be awesome if bratty little brother came to the restaurant with us dressed up as a girl?”
“Yes!!!”

Dierdre’s faced betrayed her desire to see me do exactly that.

“Gee, I don’t know.” The devilish look returned to her face. “But I’m sure as hell going to try!”
“How can we convince her?”

Alexis just had to see me sitting in a restaurant dressed like a cute little girl — and smelling of perfume. Dierdre thought for a moment.

“Maybe it wouldn’t be that hard. First, she’s definitely staying a girl until the end of the night. I don’t want to see my bratty little brother again until then. So maybe I’ll give her a choice that isn’t really a choice. She’s staying a girl, so she has to either come with us or go to a friend’s house -- wearing tights. She’ll probably choose to come with us —- especially if she feels safe trusting us to be nice and not reveal her to anyone.”

Dierdre’s devilish smile shone on her face as they all laughed.

“I do have one question, though. If she really has a problem with that, then I don’t have the heart to make her go out dressed as a girl. If that happens, would you all mind having a pizza night here instead? I’m having way too much fun with her dressed as a girl to leave without her.”

Alexis wasn’t going to let it go.

“Remember, Dierdre, she enjoys being dressed as a girl -- okay, she probably enjoys it. If she feels safe that we’ll be nice to her and that we won’t tell anyone that she’s not a girl like you said, then I have a feeling she might even be excited to go out in public as a girl. We have to give her the chance. If she doesn’t want to go out after all, then I don’t want to make her any more than you do and I would be happy to have pizza here. But we have to try, Dierdre!”
“I’m also fine with having pizza here if it doesn’t work.”
“So am I.”
“Great, then we’re agreed. Let’s give this a shot!”

Alexis had them convinced of success enough that they set about getting themselves dressed in nicer clothes for dinner.

* * * * *

While I was admiring my tights again in the family room mirror, I heard my sister’s door open on the baby monitor. I hurried to the couch, turned off the monitor, put it in the coffee table drawer, and sat back to pretend I’d been watching TV. I had seen the movie being shown so I could fake things nicely if she asked about it.

When the girls came downstairs I heard Karen playfully calling my name.

“Oh, Lisa! We have a surprise for you!”

The girls began giggling again. I wondered what the surprise was. When they walked into the living room, I saw that they were now dressed up like me, in nice dresses and tights. They came over and sat on the couch with me.

“Hey, little sister! As you know, you’re staying dressed as a girl for the rest of the night. As you also know, we’re going out for a nice dinner tonight and I’m not allowed to leave you here alone at night. So, you need to think about whether you want to go to a friend’s for dinner dressed as a girl or come out to dinner with us dressed as a girl.”

The girls were giggling at this latest twist in my ‘predicament’.

“You’re welcome to come with us and we’d love to have you. We promise that we’d be nice to you because we understand that you would be risking a lot as it is. We also promise that the fact that you’re not a girl would stay in this room. We wouldn’t tell Alexis’ mom. We would tell her that you’re our cousin Lisa from out of town who had to come and stay with us on short notice, and that my bratty little brother is staying at his friend’s house for the night. But remember, coming with us means you have to go out in public, to a crowded restaurant, dressed as a girl. As for having dinner with your friends, however, we can’t promise jack. Knowing some of your friends, you’ll be lucky if they don’t drive you to a mall and dump you off. So what do you think? Do you want to come with us since we already know? We’d have a lot of fun together.”

I was concerned about going into a crowded place like a restaurant dressed in Kirsten’s dress and tights. At the same time, I wanted to be a girl and I desperately wanted to experience life as a girl even if it was only for a short while at a restaurant. I wanted go out and have everyone think I was a girl and interact with me as though I were a girl. I decided that I wanted it enough to go through with it. I still needed to keep up my appearances, so I pretended I was stalling.

“Hmmmm…”

Dierdre put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“Lisa, we’ve discovered that we really do like you as a girl. Bringing you to the restaurant with us is not just about seeing you dressed as a girl out in public. Now, I’m not going to lie and pretend like we don’t want to see you out in public dressed as a girl, because we do -- and I’m sure you already know that. But we won’t be having fun at your expense. We’ll be having fun fooling Alexis’ mom and all the waiters and strangers at the restaurant. We also really want you to come and have fun with us.”

The others backed her up on that point. I smiled at them.

“Thank you. I’m happy to hear that.”

Hearing Dierdre list all of the people I would need to fool made showing up at a restaurant dressed as a girl seem like a very daunting prospect. However, I still couldn’t resist the opportunity to have fun dressed as a girl in public. I felt that I could fool everyone simply because I really did want to be a girl and I was already letting myself believe that I was a girl. I decided to pause one more moment just to add a little drama.

“Well… can you tell at all that I’m not a girl?”
“No, not at all. Honestly.”

Knowing that everything depended on convincing me and that it was honestly true anyway, the other girls added their agreement. I took a deep breath. Alexis threw in her two cents.

“I would bet money that we could take you into the girls’ bathroom and nobody would even blink! Besides, if you use the boys’ room then people will know you’re not a girl.”
“Well, girls, I’ve decided. I feel safe enough to do this because I know that you wouldn’t tell anyone or embarrass me. I choose dinner out with you."

The girls cheered when they heard my decision.

“This is awesome! We’ll have fun. We’ll teach you everything you need to know so that you’ll be undetectable.”
“Okay.”
“We should get started before Alexis’ mom gets here.”
“What should we do first?”
“Let me see you walk across the room, sis.”
“How’s this?”

I got up and walked across the room and walked back. Without thinking about it, I walked like a girl as I had practiced. They were quite impressed.

“Wow, Lisa you’re a natural at walking like a girl. Nice work!”

Dierdre and Alexis glanced at each other.

“Oh, thanks.”

They had me practice for about five minutes and then they showed me the next thing.

“Okay, Lisa. Now, I’d like to see you sit down like a girl.”
“Okay.”

I walked over to the couch, swept my skirt out from under me with both hands and sat down with my knees together.

“Good. Very good.”
“Thanks, Dierdre.”
“Go ahead and cross your legs at your ankles.”
“Like this?”
“Yes. Exactly. That’s one way girls sit. Now cross your legs at your knees instead.”
“Here I go.”
“Nicely done, Lisa.”

The girls applauded at me again.

“That’s another way girls sit. Always make sure you sit up straight, too. Girls are always taught to sit up straight. You’ve heard mom saying all of that ‘sit up straight like a lady’ bullshit, right?”

We laughed.

“I sure have. It even annoys me!”
“Now I want to go over some gestures and things like that. When girls talk there are certain things we do. Sometimes we play with our hair, sometimes we play with a ring or our necklaces. We nod our heads a lot more often than boys do. We often tilt our heads to one side and often touch one arm with the other or touch a leg with one hand, touch basically any public part of ourselves with one hand while we talk. When we pick things up, we use only the tips of our fingers, not the whole hand like a boy. Got all of that so far?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Good. Always be polite and use the word ‘yes’ more often that the word ‘yeah’ because those two things will help you to speak more naturally as a girl. Girls do use the word ‘yeah’ but you’ll be safer using ‘yes’ instead.”
“Okay.”
“Do you understand?”

Time to show off a bit. I replied with my head tilted to one side, with one hand holding onto my necklace.

“Yes, I think so.”

The girls cheered and applauded again. Alexis decided to express her approval.

“You’re really turning into a girl fast, Lisa. Way to go!”

I smiled as I replied, with my head tilted slightly further than before. “Thank you!”

“Yes, little sis, I’m proud of you!”

Dierdre actually gave me a hug! She never gave me a hug! It wasn’t that she didn’t like me. It was that I had been a boy until now. I loved the way we were getting along so nicely and I loved the way all of the girls were so nice to me. Most of all, I loved how good it felt to be myself. Being a girl was great so far!

Alexis’ mom came to pick us up. Dierdre gave me a soft pink girl’s sweater to wear over my dress that she’d brought from upstairs and then she took my hand and led me outside to the front of the house. I felt a huge rush of nervous excitement as I stepped outside to face the world as a girl for the first time. I couldn’t believe I was getting to do this! It felt incredible; I felt like I was dreaming.

Dierdre locked the front door and we went out to the car. We all climbed into Alexis’ mom’s massive Suburban for the ride to the restaurant. Dierdre introduced me to Alexis’ mom as her cousin Lisa from out of town and Alexis’ mom never noticed that I wasn’t a girl. The girls thought it was hysterically funny that Alexis’ mom was fooled and I just smiled with my head tilted. Alexis’ mom was nice to me and told me that I looked ‘so pretty in that adorable dress’. I thanked her politely, holding my necklace and smiling sweetly. I never got compliments like that before I was Lisa! How unfair! The ride to the restaurant was about fifteen minutes long. Whenever we stopped I felt like everyone outside the car could see me dressed as a girl. I was totally thrilled. I was so excited to be really experiencing life as a girl, or at least as close as it gets without heavy duty surgery.

Finally, we arrived at the restaurant. The parking lot was mostly empty, but the parking spots closest to the restaurant were all for compact cars. The big boat we were riding in would simply not fit without gravely inconveniencing its neighbors and Alexis’ mom was too nice to do something so obnoxious, so we parked across the lot. That was just fine with me since it gave me an excuse to walk across the parking lot totally in the open dressed as a girl. As we got out of the car, my heart sped up. I watched Dierdre and Alexis to see how they got out of the car. I moved slowly and gently, watching out for my dress at all times. When I got to the edge of the seat, I swung my legs around and climbed out with Dierdre’s help. She whispered to me that I had done that very nicely and I smiled at her. She took my hand as we walked across the parking lot. I felt the night air blowing against my legs in their tights and it felt wonderful. I felt extremely visible and my hand gripped Dierdre’s but I was having the time of my life!

We walked into the dimmed restaurant and stood near the hostess desk. I had another rush of nervous excitement. Suddenly I was surrounded with people who could see me dressed as a girl! We waited for the hostess along with two families. One had grown children who paid us no heed, but the other one had two little girls, about seven and nine years old. Since I looked the youngest in my group, they struck up a conversation with me. I remembered to smile and nod my head a lot and play with my hair or hold onto my necklace. The other girls in my party watched me, endeared with my progress turning into a girl. The nine year old’s name was Lindsay and her little sister’s name was Jessica. They were both very cute kids. Lindsay dominated the conversation, being the oldest, and talked about her dolls and our dresses and what she wanted for Christmas, even thought it was only August. Her sister began rattling off her Christmas wishes too, until Lindsay gently told her that she wanted to ask me what I wanted for Christmas. Then Lindsay did ask me what I wanted for Christmas. Without even having to think about it I told her that I would love to get some pretty clothes for Christmas and maybe even a pretty dress like the one I was wearing. There was a definite longing in my voice that really only Dierdre noticed. I explained to Lindsay that the dress I was wearing belonged to my cousin. I didn’t want to say sister on the off chance that someone I knew could be at the restaurant. I was supposed to be Dierdre and Kirsten’s cousin from out of town.

Finally the hostess came and seated Lindsay and her family. We waved goodbye to each other with a smile. They really were nice kids. Dierdre complimented me quietly.

“Nice work, Lisa. I’m seriously impressed with my new little sister tonight.”
“Thanks, Dierdre.”
“Are you comfortable enough here?”
“Yes, I think so.” She didn’t know the half of it!

The hostess now came back to seat us. As we walked to our table I realized the place looked like a converted club. There was a large, lower section in the center of the restaurant and on either side there were three steps, the length of the room, that went up to the upper sections. Our table was in the center of the upper section on the left hand side — right next to the stairs. When we got to the table and I sat down I felt like the whole room could see me. I felt like I was on a pedestal. I felt another surge of nervous excitement inundate me. Dierdre held my hand for a few seconds under the table to reassure me.

Dierdre and Alexis began chatting with me while Karen and Caitlin chatted with Alexis’ mom. After a few minutes I noticed a very pretty girl looking at me from across the room in the opposite upper section. She seemed to be smiling at me. I mentioned her to Dierdre and Alexis, describing her before Dierdre looked across at her. She had blue eyes, curly shoulder length golden brown hair and a very pretty smile. She was wearing a plaid jumper over a white turtleneck and white tights. I even described her shoes, which were black leather medium heel Mary Janes.

“Do you think she’s smiling at me?”
“Yes, Lisa. I do believe it’s you she’s smiling at.”

I smiled at that. I tried to be discreet while still delivering my point.

“Do you think that she… well, I mean, do you think she likes girls?”

The way I saw it, either she knew I wasn’t a girl and was interested anyway or she didn’t know I wasn’t a girl and preferred girls.

“I don’t know, sis, but I think she must. We all agree you look very pretty.”

Alexis jumped in.

“She likes girls, trust me.” Dierdre turned her head to look at her.
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
“Really? How do you know?”
“She was smiling at me when we walked in.”

The three of us started laughing. We weren’t laughing at the girl across the room for potentially being a lesbian. We were laughing at Alexis because of the way she had said it. She had a knack for using just the perfect wry tone of voice to make people laugh.

It became time to order and when the waiter got to me he addressed me as ‘Miss’. I smiled sweetly and said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ as I ordered. Dierdre had ordered a soup and salad and I decided I’d better order the same. When he brought us our drinks he opened my soda can for me. Wow. Girls certainly got a lot of nice treatment from the nicer boys, anyway. For the next fifteen minutes or so we enjoyed some good girl talk and good food but then I realized I needed to use the bathroom. I asked Dierdre to come since I had seen her do that with her friends many times. She happily obliged me.

So we went into the Women’s bathroom. That was another first and another burst of nervous excitement. I kept my cool, though. Dierdre whispered to me to remember to sit down and use some toilet paper even if I only drop it in the toilet because a girl always uses toilet paper. I followed her instructions, redressed myself and washed my hands. After we checked our makeup, we walked out the bathroom door. When we got outside the restroom, we saw the girl who had been smiling at me from across the room walking straight towards us. When we got close enough, I amazed myself by being the first to speak.

“Hi.” I could tell we were both a bit nervous.
“Hi. I like your dress. You look really pretty.”

I couldn’t tell if I was detecting romantic chemistry or not. I only knew that she was nervous and a bit excited.

“Thank you. I think your dress is very cute too. Where did you get it?”

She described the store at the mall where she got it and we chatted for a few seconds. Dierdre was very polite. She patiently listened to our conversation and waited for us to finish. After a few minutes I realized that the pretty girl I was talking to might need to use the bathroom.

“Well, it’s been very nice to talk with you, but I’m sure you must need to… attend to certain things right about now.”

She nodded and smiled, tilting her head to one side.

“Yes, I do, but it was very nice to talk with you, too. My name’s Molly.”
“My name’s Lisa. This is my si– cousin, Dierdre. It’s very nice to meet you, Molly.”

Molly’s expression seemed to brighten when she heard me slip up.

“It’s very nice to meet you too, Lisa. Bye.”
“Bye.”

We gave each other a wave and a smile and then she went into the bathroom. Dierdre and I headed back to our table. She walked on the carpet and I floated on a cloud.

“Okay, I should have listened to Alexis. Molly definitely does seem to like girls. Still, I did get a vibe at the very end, when you slipped up--”
“You mean when I forgot whether you were my sister or my cousin?”

We both laughed.

“That would be it, yes. Anyway, I thought that she might be starting to suspect — and yet her smile seemed to get bigger.”

When we got back to the table, Dierdre immediately began telling everyone what had just happened, ceding to Alexis that she was probably correct, after all. I thought I detected some level of envy in the other girls and I felt for them. If it had been one of the other girls who was talking to Molly I would have been jealous! The other girls wanted to hear the details so I recapped the conversation I had had with Molly and ended by mentioning that I wondered what sort of vibe she may have been receiving about me. I knew that comment went right by Alexis’ mom but the girls knew exactly what I was talking about. From time to time I smiled across the room at Molly and I always found her smiling back at me.

We finished our delicious meal and the waiter returned to ask if we’d like desert. We all politely declined and so he went to get the bill for us instead. Alexis’ mom signed the bill, complete with a generous tip and we got up to leave. I gave Molly one last smile before we left. Then I turned my attention to Dierdre, who wanted to ask if I had been comfortable being at the restaurant dressed as a girl. I reassured her that I had been comfortable, that I’d had a good time having dinner out with the girls and that my encounter with Molly would have made it more than worth it even if I hadn’t. She smiled at me and I could tell that she wished that she could have had an experience with a handsome boy the way I had with a beautiful girl.

We were just reaching the entrance at the front of the restaurant when I found myself again face to face with beautiful Molly. My smile came at once. She smiled brightly at me when she saw me. I exited the restaurant side by side with her as her father held the door for us.

“It was very nice to meet you, Molly.”
“It was very nice to meet you, too, Lisa.”

We began to part ways and we got few steps away from each other when I heard Molly addressing me, slightly out of breath.

“Excuse me, Lisa?”
“Hi, Molly. Nice to see you again.”
“I was thinking, i-if you’re interested, I mean, that it might be fun to get to know each other better.”

My face displayed another smile. I admired her for making the move.

“I think that would be a lot of fun, too.”
“Okay, great! Here’s my number.” She jotted it down quickly on a Post-It pad and handed it to me.
“Thank you! Why don’t I give you mine too, just in case?”
“Okay!”

I quickly jotted our phone number on Molly’s post-it pad and handed her the pad and the pen.

“Okay, Molly, I’ll talk to you soon! Once again, nice to meet you!”

“You too. We’ll talk soon!”

Now we did part ways. The other girls wanted to hear about my latest conversation with Molly and I excitedly related our conversation to them. I couldn’t wait to talk to her again!

The car ride home was a blur. I didn’t forget that I was dressed as a girl because I could feel my tights and my dress every time I moved my legs. However, unlike the ride to the restaurant, I was thinking about Molly and not about whether or not people outside the car could see me dressed as a girl.

After we got home and thanked Alexis’ mom for the dinner and the driving, we all went upstairs to change out of our dresses.

“Oh, Lisa, you’re still a girl for a few more hours, so why don’t I get you a nightgown like the rest of us?”
“Okay. Thanks.”

Dierdre picked out a pretty plum colored satin nightdress from Kirsten’s room. While she was getting it for me, she thought again about whether I did indeed enjoy being a girl — I hadn’t complained about wearing a nightgown at all -- and she thought of another way to test me.

“You can keep the bra and panties on under this. Whether you take the tights off or not is up to you.”
“Okay. Thanks.”

When I changed into the nightshirt, I left the tights on. My preoccupied mind was focused on making sure I didn’t lose Molly’s phone number and I failed to consider the ramifications of my choice. Since I couldn’t access my room, I just kept Molly’s phone number in my hand.

When I emerged from Dierdre’s bathroom holding the dress, shoes and phone number, lost in thought about Molly and still wearing the white tights, Alexis and Dierdre shot each other a look. They were one step closer to conclusively knowing that I was enjoying being a girl — and I was too preoccupied to realize it! Dierdre took the dress and shoes back to Kirsten’s room. When she left the room, I realized that I had to go to the bathroom, so I walked back into Dierdre’s bathroom to conduct my business. Dierdre returned while I was still occupied and Alexis hurried over to her excitedly.

“Dierdre, did you tell her to keep the tights on?”
“No, I told her it was up to her. I was testing her to see what she’d do!”

Both girls giggled.

“So now we know? It’s official?”
“It’s getting there. She may just be preoccupied about Molly and not really thinking what she’s doing. Lisa may well enjoy being dressed as a girl, though.”
“Should we ask her? Do you think she needs to talk about it?”
“She might need to, but let’s not drag it out of her. She’ll tell us when she’s ready.”
“Okay, I guess you’re right.”

When I came out of the bathroom, we went downstairs and put in a DVD. It was what one might call a “chick flick”, and I found myself interested in it, but I was distracted by my encounter with Molly. I wondered when she’d call or if maybe I should call. Then I realized that she seemed to believe that I was a girl, unless I did give myself away, so maybe the rules were different and she’d call first since she had asked. I caught bits and pieces of the movie that featured happy male-female couples holding hands or hugging or kissing but I began to feel like it might be too complicated to try to be with Molly. I really didn’t think she knew that I wasn’t a girl. If not, then that meant she was a lesbian and would no longer be interested in me other than as a friend if she found out I wasn’t a girl. Then I thought about having to go back to being a boy again. I really didn’t want to. All of these wonderful things had happened in a single night of being a girl that never ever happened to me as a boy. I had doors held open for me, soda cans opened for me, fun with the girls in which I had never been included before, newfound connection with my sister, and best of all, a girl’s phone number! The thought of going back to being a boy made me want to cry. My sunny mood began to cloud over. Then I began to feel somewhat depressed.

Two hours later, the movie concluded. Dierdre asked what we wanted to do next. I hesitated for a few seconds while they considered the question, but then I spoke my mind.

“Actually, if you all don’t mind, I’d kind of like to share something with you.”
“Okay, little sis, let’s talk. What’s on your mind?”
“Well, I don’t know if you could tell or not, because I didn’t want anyone to know until now, but I have really been enjoying being a girl. I love that dress that I was wearing and I love these tights. I wiggled my legs. I love my French braided hair and I love my makeup. I love this nightgown. I even love the perfume I’m wearing.”

The girls giggled at me.

“But what I love the most is feeling socially functional for the first time in my life. I’m finally starting to have a meaningful relationship with Dierdre and before today I could never go up and talk to the girls at school but now I seem to be fearless! I’m even getting phone numbers!”

I held up Molly’s phone number.

“It’s really sweet that you’re still holding Molly’s phone number, by the way. Anyway, yes, we thought you might have been enjoying it. There were some things we noticed, like when I was putting the dress on you and then the tights, I could have sworn you were excited but trying really hard to hide it.”

“I was excited to put on the dress and especially the tights. I was glad they were nylon — I wanted to feel girly.”

Alexis wanted to ask about the other things they’d noticed.

“Lisa, we were also wondering about some other things we saw, too. Dierdre noticed when you were spying on us that you picked a really obvious place to do it and she thought that it didn’t make any sense unless you wanted to be caught. Then, when we were chasing you downstairs, you went into the living room, which is a dead end, when you could have run around downstairs and back up to your room or out the door or something. I definitely thought you wanted to be caught. Did you want to be caught?”
“Yes, I did.”

We all chuckled at my little revelation.

“When I heard Dierdre threaten to dress me up as a girl and lock me out of my room, I knew instantly that I wanted her to do it. I didn’t mean to drive you crazy or anything, Dierdre, and I really don’t like spying on you, but I couldn’t resist the opportunity to be dressed up like a girl all day right in front of all of you with the perfect excuse. I wanted to be stuck as a girl all day! I was excited to be stuck as a girl all day.”
“So you already liked dressing up as a girl?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Did you dress up like a girl before?”
“Never like this, but I did sneak into Kirsten’s room while home alone and put on her tights and a denim skirt that she left on her bed. Then I stood in front of her full length mirror and braided my hair and stuff. But that was as far as I’d ever gotten.”

While I spoke, I made all sorts of feminine gestures as though they were second nature and I never noticed it. The girls did, but they chose not to comment on it just now.

“Did you grow your hair long to be girly?”
“Yes. I grew it long because I wanted to look like a girl. The thing is, there’s a reason I enjoy dressing up as a girl so much. The reason that I enjoy it so much is that I think I am a girl, on the inside.”
“You look a bit upset, sis, are you okay?”
“No, I’m really not. I really don’t think Molly knew that I wasn’t a girl, which means that she’s a lesbian. When she finds out I’m not a girl, she won’t be interested anymore. But there’s something else upsetting me even more. Do you know what that is?”
“I have a guess, sis. What is it?”

I was starting to feel deeply emotional, nearly to the point of tears, and for the first time in my life I didn’t bother to quash my emotions like I used to. I let it all come right out and I began sobbing.

“I have to go back to being a boy soon and I really don’t want to. Not ever. I would do anything not to have to be a boy anymore. The whole bratty little brother routine is just an act because I’ve been afraid to tell anyone that I’m really a girl. But Mom isn’t going to let me be a girl. School is starting very soon, and….”

The idea of having to be a boy again was pushing me over the edge and I was beginning to choke up.

“Oh, sweetie, it will be okay. Hang on…”

Dierdre dashed across the room to get a box of tissues while Alexis, who was closest, gave me a hug and the other girls tried to console me with a hand on my shoulder or my arm. Dierdre was back quickly and she began to dry my tears for me. I loved being this way with my sister and hated to see it come to an end, but I knew that it couldn’t stay like this when I went back to being a boy. Now Dierdre hugged me, too. She began to gradually cheer me up.

“Hey, Lisa, whatever happens, I’m always here for you. If you have to go back to being a boy, I can always dress you up again and take you out as a girl. If Mom has a problem with that, then, well, she just doesn’t have to know about it. We could go to my friends’ houses and start telling people that cousin Lisa moved into town. We’re still going to be way better friends than we used to because I know that you’re really Lisa. I think we should talk to Mom and you should tell her everything you just told us. We’re talking like she won’t let you become a girl, but we don’t know that for sure. Maybe there’s a chance we could kill the bratty little brother and he’d be gone forever.”

We all laughed at that. I leaned my head on my sister’s shoulder, comforted and at least feeling hopeful thanks to her.

“Dierdre? If I do get to be Lisa from now on, I want to change my birthday. I want my birthday to be today. That other one’s a boy’s birthday. I don’t want to celebrate being a stupid ugly boy anymore.”
“I think that’s a great idea.”
“Dierdre, do you think we should tell Kirsten before or after Mom?”
“Gee, I don’t know.”
“I think we should tell Kirsten first. I’m sure she would be able to handle this okay. She only has a problem with stuff when there’s a good reason to have a problem with it and there’s nothing about Lisa to have a problem with. Sure, it will be weird for her to see her bratty little brother all dressed up like a pretty little girl, but she’ll like it like you did. Then when we tell Mom, I’ll have her support, too, and when Mom sees that we all get along so much better with Lisa in the house, then maybe she’ll let me be Lisa.”
“That might work. And you know, Kirsten’s getting home tomorrow around noon, but Mom won’t be home until dinner time, so we’ll have a few hours to get you two acquainted.”

Dierdre had a twinkle in her eye as an even better idea occurred to her.

“That sounds great. Oh, let’s please do this! Bur first, I have to use the bathroom. Hang on!”

As soon as I was out of earshot, Dierdre motioned to the other girls to lean close and she began whispering to the other girls.

“You know what? We have some cupcakes in the kitchen and I want to give Lisa a surprise birthday party tonight, but I want Kirsten to be here because this one’s really special, even if Lisa has to go away. The good news is that Kirsten is right over at Kimmy’s house tonight, which is literally right in the next block. So, we’ll give her a call and ask her to come home tonight and invite Kimmy to sleep here instead. We’ll party and give Kirsten and Lisa the extra time to become acquainted. Besides, this way we can show Kirsten how pretty Lisa looked in her dress tonight!”

The girls all loved the idea. They heard me coming out of the bathroom, so they sat up straight and waited for me to get back. Dierdre whispered to the other girls to follow her lead.

“Hey, Lisa, now that you’re back, we have another surprise for you and for this one we all need to put our dresses back on, okay?”
“Sure! I would love to put that pretty dress back on!”

The girls didn’t laugh this time and we all scampered back upstairs to Dierdre’s room. Dierdre got me the dress and shoes to put on again and so I went back into the bathroom and got dressed. As soon as I closed the bathroom door, Dierdre said quietly, “Time to put our plan in action!”

She hurried into Mom’s bedroom and called Kirsten. Dierdre didn’t want to tell her over the phone that her bratty little brother was really her wonderful little sister and so she explained that the bratty little brother was going through something life-changing and that bratty little brother would definitely want her to be there. Kirsten simply had to be there to see it and be part of it or she would regret it forever. Kirsten asked if I was okay because she had had a feeling for the last two or three hours that I was hurting and maybe dreading something. Dierdre assured her that I was okay and, in fact, if everything went as hoped, I’d be better than ever. She told Kirsten to invite Kimmy over, too, and they excitedly agreed to come right over. Kirsten’s mother was hesitant to let the girls sleep at our house with our mother away, but Kirsten rattled off the names of everyone present and assured her that nobody else was coming over. That put Kimmy’s mom much more at ease since she knew all of those girls. She agreed to let them sleep at our house on the condition that she would come over and check on everything and make sure our house was locked up properly at 10 o’clock. They readily agreed.

When I came out of the bathroom, looking pretty again, Dierdre put her jewelry back on me and then she ran into the bathroom to get changed. I walked over to Dierdre’s full length mirror and looked at myself again. A couple of minutes later, she came out of the bathroom dressed.

“Okay, little sister. I think it’s only fair to tell you in advance that Kirsten and Kimmy are coming home very soon and spending the night here instead.”

My eyebrows went up, but I knew Kimmy and she was okay.

“She’s coming home? What brought that about? Is she okay?”
“Yes, she’s fine; she just has to be here for your surprise. She has to be a part of it. You’ll see.”
“Okay. I trust you.” We heard a key being turned in the front door.
“That’s them. I’m going to have you wait right here and I’ll bring them up. The other girls will wait downstairs and give you a chance to talk to Kirsten and Kimmy since the others have already met you.”
“Okay, you can bring them up. I’m feeling ready.”

Kirsten and Kimmy brought their stuff up to Kirsten’s room, which Dierdre unlocked before returning the key to the door. I heard Kirsten ask, mildly irritated, why Dierdre had locked her door. Dierdre replied that everything would be explained very soon. Dierdre brought them to her room and when she opened the door, they found me sitting there smiling and dressed as a girl.

“Kirsten and Kimmy, this is Lisa.”
“Hi, Lisa, it’s nice to meet you. I love that dress — I have the same one.”
“It is your dress, Kirsten.”
“O-okay… so where’s our brother? What’s going on?”
“I’ll tell them, sis.”
“Why did you just call her sis?”

Her eyes went wide as her brain abruptly connected the dots. She realized that the pretty girl with the French braid wearing the dress and white tights was, in fact, her brother!

“Oh my gawd! What is going on here? Why are you dressed like a girl?”

Now Kimmy recognized me and they both began giggling furiously.

“Let me start from the beginning.”

I told them about how I started spying on Dierdre, how Dierdre threatened to dress me up as a girl and lock me out of my room and how I’d deliberately gotten caught because I wanted to be stuck as a girl. I told them about the restaurant, about getting along great with Dierdre and her friends, and about Molly. Then I told her why I really wanted to be dressed as a girl, that I didn’t ever want to be a boy again and that I felt I really was a girl. I told her that the idea of ever going back to being a boy just made me feel empty, depressed and hopeless. I confessed to her that I had worn her white tights and denim skirt before and braided my hair. Somehow I just always knew that I’m really a girl. I confessed that the bratty little brother stuff was fake and I was only doing that because I was scared to tell anyone that I was really a girl.

“I always figured it was kind of girly when you grew your hair that long. Now I know why!”
“Yes, that’s why. Now, we haven’t told Mom about Lisa yet because this just happened today while she was away. We’re going to tell her tomorrow and we wanted to tell you tonight because I was really hoping I could have your support in addition to Dierdre’s when I tell her.”
“Of course you can. I’m a little bit overwhelmed to see you sitting here dressed in my dress and my white tights with your hair in a French braid, no less, but this explains something in a really big way!”
“Really, what?”
“Well, we’re twins, right? Some twins have a special bond and we do. You know how sometimes one of us knows the other’s hurting?”
“Yes, of course.”
“I felt it tonight for like two or three hours before Dierdre called me to come over. That’s why I asked Dierdre if you were okay.”
“Really? That’s so awesome!”
“Yes, and there’s even more to it than that!”
“Tell me, tell me!”
“I have always had the feeling that you might really be a girl. Sometimes I would get the feeling that you were hurting inside, even when you weren’t around -- like tonight, for instance -- but during those times I always felt like I was in touch with a girl.”
“Oh my gawd!”
“Yes! It didn’t make sense until you grew your hair long. Then I thought that maybe I knew why, but I decided to let things unfold on their own. You can’t rush a budding flower, you know.”
“True, you really can’t. Wow this is cool!”
“It’s so cool! I think I’m going to like you a lot, Lisa!”
“Oh, thank you, Kirsten.” I got up and gave her a big hug, which she returned.
“I like you, too, Lisa. I hope we can be good friends.”
“I know we will, Kimmy!” I gave her a big hug, too.
“So how are you going to tell Molly you’re not a boy?”
“I’ll just tell her gently and truthfully and try to be as nice as I can — and do it in person, too, not over the phone. That’s all I really can do.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Okay, Lisa, we have some preparation to do downstairs, so please wait here. We’ll come to get you shortly, okay?”
“Okay!”

On the way downstairs, Kirsten wanted to know what would happen next. Dierdre said that they ought to let me explain what they were about to see. They walked into the kitchen to see the other girls putting candles in cupcakes.

“Is this… like a birthday party?”

“It is like a birthday party. Lisa will explain.”
“Okay, cool!”

They were now ready for me. Dierdre told the girls to wait until she got upstairs and then light the candles and put the cupcakes on the family room table. Then she went upstairs and came into the room to get me.

“Ready for your surprise, Lisa?”
“Yes!”
“Okay, let’s go downstairs now.”

Dierdre put her hands over my eyes and led me carefully downstairs until I was standing at the family room table. Kirsten and Kimmy held my hands to make sure I didn’t fall down the stairs. Then she uncovered my eyes, and I saw the cupcakes sitting there with lit candles in them.

“Well, sis, I really hope this isn’t premature, but…”

They began singing Happy Birthday to me. I started to cry, but I didn’t want to ruin my makeup so I held it in, waving my hands at my face. When they were done I began to profusely thank everyone, giving each one of them a big hug. Kirsten and Kimmy still didn’t fully understand what was going on. They knew they were wishing me a happy birthday, and they had an idea why, but they weren’t sure.

“So, Lisa, I guess we’re celebrating… the new you tonight?”
“Yes. More specifically, I told Dierdre that I don’t want to celebrate my old birthday anymore because I don’t want to celebrate being a boy anymore. So, I told her that I want my birthday to be today, because today really is the day that Lisa was born.”
“Now I understand everything. Well, Happy Birthday, Lisa! I’m so glad that you called me to come over. I wouldn’t have missed this for anything! I wish Mom could have been here, too, but I guess that’s okay.”

Kirsten and I and Dierdre hugged each other again.

“Yes, well, I don’t know if Mom will let me be Lisa from now on, so there might be a little blessing that she isn’t here right now. It depends, I guess.”

I felt myself becoming somewhat somber again. Kirsten tried to cheer me up.

“Well, we don’t know that she won’t let you. I mean, now that I can see the real you, how could she not let you be Lisa? That would just be… well, crazy.”
“It totally would, sis, she’s right. That would be insane! You’re definitely a girl. Let’s have hope, okay?”
“Okay, let’s have hope.” I began to smile.

Dierdre turned on some music and we danced and laughed and ate cupcakes and drank soda. I had a truly wonderful birthday! I was beginning to think I had died and gone to heaven when the doorbell rang. We all stopped dancing.

“Oh, that’s my mom, girls! We agreed that she would drop by to make sure the house was secure for the night. It was part of the deal for letting me stay here overnight since your mom’s gone.”
“Oh, that’s right! Lisa, do you feel that you can fool one more person tonight?”
“Why not? I’ve fooled everyone else!”
“Okay, I’ll get the door.”

Kimmy and Kirsten tagged along. I waited in the family room with everyone else. I heard them chatting in the foyer and a few seconds later they were in the family room.

“Wow, what have you girls got going on over here? I hear music and I see cupcakes.”
“Just a little naughty snack for our girls’ night. By the way, this is my cousin Lisa, who’s staying with us for a little while.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Lisa. I’m glad to see you’re having fun. Where’s Kelly tonight?”
“He’s at a friend’s house. He’ll be back tomorrow.”

I did not like that thought one bit! Kirsten squeezed my shoulder to reassure me.

“Well, okay, I just came to make sure the doors and windows are locked and then I’ll be off. Do I smell candles?”
“Yes, we got a little silly and decided to pretend it was Kirsten’s birthday. Don’t worry; the candles are out for the night.”
“Oh, okay.”

Kimmy’s mom checked the table with the cupcakes to make sure the candles were out. She walked around the house and made sure the windows and doors were locked and then she came back to say goodnight.

“All right, girls, everything looks just fine, so, Kimmy, I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart. You know, why don’t you all come over for lunch tomorrow, if you don’t have other plans? You’re welcome to come.”

Dierdre looked over at me and I knew what she was thinking. I smiled at her, and chose my words so that I would appear to be excited at the prospect of a free lunch.

“That’s very nice of you to offer. I think that sounds like fun!”
“Yeah, I think we can all agree to that!”
“Good. I’ll see you all tomorrow. Goodnight everyone. Nice to meet you, Lisa.”
“Nice to meet you, too!”

Dierdre carefully peeped out the front window to make sure we could talk without Kimmy’s mom hearing us.

“Okay, coast is clear!”
“So sis, you’re sure you’re okay with that?”
“Yes, I know I am.”
“I know. Now my asking is just becoming a formality.”

We laughed. We began dancing again until we ran out of energy. Then I decided to show Kirsten and Kimmy how I could walk and talk and sit like a girl. They both thought I was so natural it was almost scary. Then the girls thought it would be fun to teach me how to put on my own makeup. We all went upstairs to Dierdre’s room and Dierdre showed me how to remove all of my makeup. Then she and Kirsten coached me through applying it again. We took it slowly and carefully and I did it successfully! I looked very pretty again!

“Wow, a girl really does feel naked without makeup on!”

We all laughed together. Kirsten decided that she wanted to teach me to do my own nail polish, so she removed the polish from just two of my nails and she and Dierdre coached me through that as well. I managed to do it right! The girls applauded me!

“This is great and I’m learning a lot! Would you teach me how to do my hair a few ways now? I hate to take out my pretty French braid, but I have a lot to learn!”
“Yes, you do, so let’s teach you about hair now!”

I undid the bow at the bottom of the braid and removed the rubber band. Then I shook out my hair. They decided to dampen my hair so they could start out teaching me how to blow dry it. So, they temporarily had me take off the dress and then they used a wet washcloth to gradually dampen my hair. Then they coached me through blow drying it, using the brush to hold it straight out if I wanted it straight. So I blew my hair straight. Then I stepped back into the dress. They showed me how to do all kinds of fun things with my hair. They showed me everything from simply holding it off my face on both sides with barrettes to pulling back the front half and putting it in a barrette behind my head to a French bun to a so-called “door knob” to putting it up with a hair claw. For the time being, I settled with pulling the front half back and putting it in a barrette behind my head.

Kirsten decided to show me how to pick out a girl’s outfit.

“Now there’s a skill I’ll need to know!”

They all laughed. We went to Kirsten’s room and she showed me how to choose outfits, including which color tights and shoes go with an outfit and everything. Then she had me pick out a few and change into them in her bathroom. We decided it would be my own little beauty pageant. I emerged the first time in a pink denim skirt, white floral turtleneck, white tights and black canvas Mary Janes. I walked out of the bathroom runway style, twirled to much applause and went back into the bathroom to put on my next outfit. This time, I reluctantly took off my tights for the first time that night and a put on a turquoise and white striped tank top, a pair of turquoise Capri pants and white sneakers with ankle socks. Before I left the bathroom again, I looked at myself in the mirror and stopped. I removed the barrette from the back of my head and found two barrettes in there I could use to hold my hair back on either side. Satisfied with my next hair style, I exited the bathroom and paraded around the room again to more applause.

“Lisa, you did your own hair! Bravo! You look pretty!”
“Thank you very much!” I was so excited.

I went back into the bathroom and this time I put my tights back on, followed by a beautiful white lace dress. I put on white patent leather Mary Janes and this time I put my hair into a very cute French bun behind my head. I found some lip gloss and some sparkly barrettes in there, so I used a little lip gloss and clipped the barrettes into my hair on either side of my head. I walked out into the room again and this time they were dazzled.

“Lisa, you look beautiful!”
“Yes, you’re getting really good at fixing your hair!”
“Thank you everybody! This is so much fun!”

I curtsied and headed back to the bathroom to the sound of their giggling. I took off the pretty white dress and was about to put the pink floral one back on when I noticed that Kirsten had left a swimsuit hanging up in the bathroom. With a wry smile on my face, I stripped and put it on, transferring my toilet paper boobs from my bra to my swimsuit. I let my hair down now without further accessory, arranging it so that it all hung down on one side. I walked out of the bathroom with my arms up to either side.

“No pageant would be complete without the swimsuit competition!”

I struck a sexy pose. The girls all burst out laughing.

“Wow, I forgot I left that in there!”
“Damn, Lisa, you even look like a girl in Kirsten’s swimsuit. We’ll have to go swimming sometime.”

We cracked up again. I went back into the bathroom to put the flowered dress and white tights back on, and I decided I liked the French bun, so I redid it. When I exited the bathroom again, I couldn’t help but share another observation with the girls.

“Wow, I hope real boobs are more comfortable than toilet paper boobs.” The girls giggled at me. Alexis saw her chance for a one-liner and took it.

“They are, unless you sleep face down.”

The girls guffawed. I brought Kirsten’s clothes back into the room and helped her hang them up and put them away. Dierdre noticed that it was getting late.

“Wow, it’s almost midnight, sisters! We should get some sleep because we’ll need our rest tomorrow.”
“Yes, we should.”

We changed back into our nightgowns, and I still left my hair in a French bun. I asked Kirsten if it would work to sleep with it that way and she said it would, so I kept it. I practiced removing all of my makeup.

We decided to sleep downstairs in the family room in our sleeping bags so that we could spend the last few minutes of Lisa’s birthday together. Before we dropped off to sleep I thanked the girls again for this truly special day and special night. I told them that I would remember it the rest of my life no matter what else happened and that I felt that we had really bonded as girls. They told me that they also felt that we had bonded. And so we slept. It took me a little while to fall asleep. I was so happy to be a girl and I didn’t want this day to end in case Lisa had to leave. But I finally dropped off.

* * * * *

When we woke up the next morning, we made waffles for breakfast and sat down at the table to eat still in our nightgowns. Dierdre and I and Kirsten were too nervous to say much, since we knew that today was ‘Judgment Day’ for Lisa. The other girls were chatting about the night before, and Kimmy whispered to the others that she had never seen a boy dressed as a girl before but she thought I looked really cute and she would love to see her own brother dressed up as a girl someday. The girls giggled at that possibility. Kirsten and Kimmy began to chat excitedly about it, discussing how they could get Kimmy’s brother to do it.

After we finished breakfast, and cleaned up after ourselves, we went upstairs to get dressed. On the way up the stairs we began to discuss getting me dressed.

“Hey, Lisa, would you like to pick an outfit to wear today? Well at least you can wear it until Mom gets home?”
“I’d love to, thanks Kirsten!”
“Come on.”

She hooked her arm in mine and brought me to her room with Dierdre. She opened up her closet for me and left the door wide open.

“You can wear anything that you’d like to today.”
“Thanks, Kirsten! You’re very generous!”
“I guess I’d better pick something nice in case it’s the last time.” I sighed again.
“Yeah, I guess.”

I picked out white satin panties, a white satin bra, denim skirt that would fall to a couple of inches above my knees, narrow black leather girl’s belt, charcoal button front blouse with a feminine collar, girly soft sweater colored in shades of white, gray and black, and black leather Mary Janes.

“Do you have any black tights?”
“I sure do. Here they are. Actually I have cotton and I have nylon.”
“Nylon, please.”
“Okay, here ya go.”
“I guess you can probably tell that I love tights!” Kirsten and Kimmy giggled to hear me say that.
“Yes, we can definitely tell.”
“Okay, I’d like to wear this today.”
“That’s a very nice outfit!”
“Thanks. I’m shooting for a dark and somber yet innocent look. I guess I’m being a tad bit negative, but I like the sweater and, well… I guess I don’t know if Mom will see me dressed as a girl tonight, but if she does see me in this outfit, I thought it might help convince her if I tell her that I chose somber colors because I feel like I’ll die if I can’t be Lisa.”

I giggled, trying to be chipper. Kirsten and Dierdre giggled with me.

“Oh, wait, I should choose some jewelry, would that be okay?”
“Anything for you today, Lisa!”
“Thanks, sis! You’re so nice.”

I happily picked out a gold necklace with a gold heart pendant similar to Dierdre’s, a gold Claddagh ring, and the small clip earrings I’d worn the previous night.

“Those are nice choices, Lisa!”
“Thanks! Okay, I’d better get dressed.”
"Hey, Lisa, I’m going to unlock all the doors now and put everything back. You can use Mom’s bathroom to change since she has a hair curler and stuff you might need to use. You can just wait in her room until we’re done, okay?”
“Okay. Thanks, Dierdre!”

I walked over to Mom’s room and into her bathroom with my clothes for the day and after I showered, I blew my hair dry like I had been taught. Then I put on the bra and panties, stuffing the bra with tissues until it looked like it had previously. I stopped and looked around to see if Mom had any pretty nail polish and she did. She had some pearly white stuff but I didn’t think that would look good with black tights, so I continued looking until I found some pink stuff. That would make for a natural look, I figured. I painted my nails with the nail polish and waited for them to dry. When they were done, I picked up the tights and slipped them onto my legs. They felt so nice! I really did love tights. I put on the blouse, slipped on the skirt, added the belt, slipped on the sweater and put on the Mary Janes. I decided that my hair should be very feminine today. It might help Mom believe that I wanted to be a girl. I decided to cut a short tress on either side of my face like I’d seen a lot of girls doing. I found some scissors and carefully did the job, angling the cut of the tresses downward towards the front. Then I pulled back the front half except for the tresses and made a doorknob. I tucked the tresses behind my ears to make sure they would be hidden in a simple pony tail — just in case Lisa had to go -- and they looked just fine. So I pulled the tresses back out and ran them through Mom’s hair curler. When I was done I had curly tresses. I looked really cute! I smiled happily as I replaced the curler and began rummaging for makeup. I found some foundation, which I applied lightly. I found mascara and eyeliner. I found eye shadow and added a touch of pink to match my nail polish. I found lip liner and pink lipstick which went with my nail polish. I found blush and applied just a touch. I thought I looked really pretty. I hoped the girls would think so, too. I put on the necklace, ring and earrings to finish myself off.

I picked up my nightgown and the bra and panties I’d slept in and placed them on Mom’s bed while I waited for the other girls to finish. I opened Mom’s closet to look around while I waited and I saw some gorgeous suede pumps. I took off my Mary Janes and slipped my feet into the pumps. They fit well enough for my purposes. I walked over to Mom’s full length mirror to watch myself walk in high heels. They looked funny with the denim skirt and sweater though. Even I knew they would look a whole lot better with a nice cocktail dress. I hoped that I might be wearing one someday.

While I was standing in front of the mirror in pumps, Kirsten and Dierdre came into the room.

“Damn, look at you, sis!”
“Eh, I should be wearing a cocktail dress with these pumps.”

We giggled as I returned the shoes and put the Mary Janes on again.

“Let’s have a good look at you--” Dierdre gasped. “Wait, you have new tresses in your hair? Since when?”
“Since just now. I did a little snip-snip in the bathroom. Too bad I couldn’t snip-snip something else instead.” They guffawed at my joke-that-wasn’t-really-a-joke. I took it one step further. “I mean, really, what good is that thing anyway?”

They laughed even harder.

“Anyway, I love your new tresses! They’re adorable.”
“Thank you, girls!”

Dierdre was genuinely impressed.

“You look great. Great makeup, great outfit, you really love tights, great hair, you look great!”
“Thanks, Dierdre.”
“Let’s show the other girls.”
“Okay!”

We walked out of Mom’s room and I picked up my laundry on the bed on the way out. Kirsten took it from me and went to her bathroom to put it in the hamper. Meanwhile, Dierdre brought me into her room where everyone else was now dressed and pretty.

“Wow, look at Lisa!”
“When did you get tresses?”
“I cut them fresh just this morning. It’s okay. If Lisa has to go, they’ll hide nicely behind my ears.”
“Well, they look really cute!”
“Thanks!”

They spent the next five minutes going over my appearance and checking everything out. I got everything right! I was so happy! Dierdre, ever the hostess, again took a census on what to do to have some fun. Alexis had a neat idea.

“Dierdre, how much of that money from your mom do you have left?”
“Forty dollars. Why?”
“We could walk up to the supermarket and buy Lisa her first makeup. That way at least she could always be partly in touch with Lisa if she has to go away.”
“Can we, Dierdre? I would love to go out in public again!”
“I think that’s a nice idea. We’ll just tell Mom that the restaurant was more expensive than I remembered it. Technically, it was, anyway. Let’s go!”

I was so excited! Dierdre grabbed the rest of the money, we left the house and she locked the front door behind us. I felt so good walking down the street dressed as a girl. The clothes felt wonderful. My hair felt wonderful. The tights felt wonderful. I told myself, nonetheless, that I’d better pay attention to my walk to make sure I was doing it right. It was a pleasant sunny day, warm enough, but not too warm for tights.

“I’m telling you, Dierdre, when I’m a girl it’s like… it’s like I’m home.”

Dierdre smiled at me and gave me a hug.

Ten minutes later, we walked into the supermarket. I felt a rush of nervous excitement as I had at the restaurant. At the supermarket I felt we were more likely to run into someone we know than we had been at the restaurant but I had been completely successful presenting myself as a girl so far and I was feeling confident I could keep it up.

We found the cosmetics aisle and made our way towards the goods. The girls began looking though the mascara and eye liner. I was looking for the lipstick I’d borrowed from my mother that morning. I thought the color looked perfect on me. It was Revlon Color Stay stuff and the color was called Luscious Pink. I found it and as I was holding up the tube and smiling, the girls came over with their finds.

“Okay, sis. We’ve got eye liner and mascara… and I see you have lipstick. Nice, is that the shade you have on?”
“Yes, I love this color. Don’t you think it’s just perfect on me?”
“You’re right it is perfect! Nice find! Oh, and here’s a perfect lip liner pencil for it!”
“Thanks, sis!” I smiled a big smile.
“You’re welcome. Okay, next, why don’t we look for blush and you can look at nail polish?”
“Okay. Sounds good!”

I gave them a big smile as we continued our browse through the cosmetic aisle. I was glad to be the one looking at the nail polish because Mom’s matched my eye shadow and lipstick and I remembered the name of the color. It was also Revlon and was called Luscious Pink, like the lipstick. I located the bottle I was looking for.

“Okay, we’re almost done!”

We found a light powder foundation and the pink eye shadow like Mom’s and the necessary removers. We now had a complete basic makeup set for Lisa! Kirsten had another good idea. We walked over to the hosiery isle and Kirsten helped me pick out a couple of pairs of tights. We picked a pair of white ones, black ones, and navy ones. They were see-through nylon tights like the ones I was wearing. We began towards the check stands, but I didn’t feel like leaving yet. I was enjoying being a girl in public.

“Does anyone want to look at magazines for a while?”
“Okay, sis. It’s still kind of your day, so let’s have a look!”

I smiled again.

“Thanks, Dierdre!”

We browsed for magazines for a few minutes, giggling at some of the bad clothing choices of famous people in US Magazine. When I noticed one particularly hideous dress I remarked that it was the first time I had ever seen someone wearing a throw rug. The girls all cracked up at me. In another photo, I noticed the girl’s lipstick was mismatched with her natural coloring and looked terrible. The girls giggled, agreeing with me fully. Finally, we paid for my new makeup and headed for the door.
As we got a few feet past the check stands, we all stopped and my mouth hung open. We saw Molly and her parents! I surprised myself yet again by walking towards her.

“Hi, Molly!”
“Hi, Lisa!”
“It’s nice to see you again.”
“You too!”
“I was going to call you this afternoon. I-I still have your number.” I pulled it out of my skirt pocket and showed it to her.
“That’s nice. I was going to call you, too.”

Kirsten and Kimmy walked up beside me.

“Molly, this is my sister Kirsten and our friend Kimmy.”
“It’s nice to meet you two. So, Kirsten are you staying in town at your cousin’s house with your sister?”

Kirsten saw the problem at once. Lisa had now referred to one of her sisters as her cousin and the other as her sister. She glanced at me and began to stammer.

“Oh, w-well you see...”

Kimmy saved us both.

“Molly, we’re all going to have lunch at my house just a few blocks down from here. Would you like to come?”

She glanced at me. I looked back at Molly and put a hand on her arm.

“Yes, please come. I want to be honest with you about something. You might already have an idea what I mean. I’ve just slipped up in front of you for the second time. Dierdre and Kirsten are both my sisters and we’re not from out of town. Our house is three blocks from here.”

I began giggling — and so did Molly!

“Anyway, if you come, that will give us a chance to have a nice talk — not to mention a more private place.”

Molly seemed even more eager to get to know me now than she had at the restaurant.

“That sounds very nice! Thanks for inviting me, Kimmy! Let me check with my parents!”
“Okay!”

Before I had finished speaking the word, she was hurrying over to her parents and excitedly talking with them. She rushed back over.

“Good news. I would be delighted to come. What’s the address?”

Kimmy gave all the details.

“It’s 1428 Elm Street. It’s two blocks down from here. It’s the yellow shingled house with white picket fence around it and a long driveway up the right hand side. Nice big yard in back. Come by around noon.”
“Okay, great! I look forward to this! Just so you know, Lisa, whatever it is, you’ll find me very understanding.”
“Thanks, Molly, I look forward to this too!”

Molly went back to her parents and Kirsten and Kimmy and I went back to our group and told them the news.

“This is great, sis! We’ll have so much fun!”
“Yes, as long as she takes my other news okay.”

Dierdre was unphased.

“You know, Lisa, it seems to me that every time you slip up Molly just gets more excited to know you. Maybe you’re just her type after all! She said something about being very understanding.”

“Maybe you’re right. Okay, let’s go!”

We walked home happily in the sun and I let the whole world see that I was a girl.

* * * * *

When we got home, I was reluctant to go back inside. I loved being a girl in front of the whole world.

“Well, I don’t know what you girls are going to do, but I think I’m going to do a little touch up with my new makeup. I want to make sure I look my prettiest for Molly.”
“Okay, Lisa! That sounds like a good idea.”

I went up to Mom’s bathroom to use my new makeup. I could now access my own room and bathroom, but… I wasn’t ready to go back in there yet. I touched up my lipstick and added a touch more eyeliner and mascara. I smiled at myself in the mirror, truly happy to be a girl, even if only for a little while. I knew that I was looking at my true self in the mirror.

Satisfied with my makeup, I put my makeup back in the grocery bag and left it on Mom’s bed. Then I walked over to Dierdre’s room.

“Knock knock!”
“Hi, Lisa. You’re looking refreshed and pretty.”
“Thank you!”
“Now that you’re a girl, you’re welcome to hang out with us in my room anytime.”
“Thanks, Dierdre! You know, I always used to feel left out.”
“Because you had to hang out by yourself?”
“Sort of, but mainly because I knew I was a girl and I couldn’t be with the other girls.”
“Awwww!” Dierdre gave me a big hug. “Well, if all goes well, those days are over.”
“Yes, let’s hope so!”
“Okay, we’re about ready to head over to Kimmy’s house.”
“Okay, let’s go!”

We walked downstairs and outside. Dierdre locked the front door behind us and we walked down the street. I smiled as we walked down the street, being the girl I really was out in the open. We laughed and giggled about various things and a few minutes later we arrived at Kimmy’s house.
We opened the gate and walked up to the front door. Kimmy opened her door and let us in and led us into her living room. When we got there, I just stopped and stared. My mother was there, as were Molly and her mother.

“Oh! Mom, you’re back. Hi, everyone!”

The other girls remained silent to give me and my mom a chance to say hello. My mother stood up, smiling, with a tear sliding down her check and her arms held out towards me.

“Hi, baby.” We gave each other a big hug. “Oh, sweetheart, you look so beautiful!”
“You’re not wigged out?”
“No, honey. I’ve always pretty much known this would happen at some point or other. I have something to tell you —- and what I have to tell you has everything to do with the reason Molly’s mother is here. Everyone, please, sit down and be comfortable.”
“Okay, mom. Please tell me everything.”

I sat on the couch next to my mom and we all settled in to listen. I’d always figured I was a girl and Kirsten knew as well. Maybe she’d confided in Mom a long time ago? That would be fine with me.

“When you and Molly were born, you both had the same obstetrician. Kimmy’s father was the obstetrician.”

That was the first that any of us girls had ever heard this.

“Wow! How weird! I mean weird as in wonderful, of course!”

My mom smiled as she continued.

“It is wonderful. Kimmy’s father was experimentally studying blood tests from newborns as part of a separate project, but in the process he found that a few newborn boys had abnormally low levels of testosterone. It meant that those baby boys might eventually discover that they are actually girls born with the wrong body.”
“That sounds just like me!”
“It is just like you. You were one of those baby boys. Kimmy’s dad decided that these baby boys who might really be baby girls might want to know each other someday to support each other through the process of going through all of this so he kept a list of them. He decided to found a support group and he only gives out the contact information to one of the families on the list and nobody else. That way your secret is safe.”
“What a great idea!”
“It is a wonderful idea and I am certainly glad he did that. When you were very young and refused to get your hair cut, I started to wonder if maybe the friendly doctor was absolutely right about you. So, I called him to help me contact another family I could talk to and whom I could help in return. He gave me the phone number for another family who had a little girl with a little boy’s body and I called them right up. They were the kindest people I’ve ever met. That little boy has also just begun to live as a girl. Her name is Molly.”

My jaw fell open as I looked over at Molly.

“Wow! You’re like me? This is cool!”

I ran over and gave her a big hug which she returned with enthusiasm that rivaled my own.

“Molly, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course! Anything!”
“At the restaurant when we met, did you know who I was? Did you know that I was a girl with a boy’s body?”
“Actually, no. At first, I was looking at you because I thought you were cute.”

We all erupted in laughter.

“That’s why I was looking back at you! Isn’t that hysterical!”

We gave each other another big hug.

“I told you she was a lesbian!”
“Alexis! Shut up!”

Dierdre gave her a playful whack on her leg, but Alexis’ one liner had already done its thing and we were all laughing again.

“So Molly, did you always know that you were a girl?”
“Well, all I knew was that I loved wearing girls clothes. I didn’t really know why. I always did have long hair, though.”
“That sounds just like me. I always loved sneaking into Kirsten’s room and putting on her tights and skirts and dresses and I’d stand in front of her mirror and braid my hair and stuff.”
“I was always putting on my older sister’s swimsuit but I was also getting into tights and doing my hair.”
“Wow this is so cool!”

I began to get misty eyed and I turned around to look at my mother.

“Mom, does this mean that I can be Lisa forever? I don’t ever want to have to be Kelly again! Not ever!”
“I’ve been talking with Molly’s parents. We all feel that you two really are little girls and we’ve decided to help you become fully female. You will never have to go back to being boys again!”

Molly and I screamed with delight and we both began crying with joy. We hugged each other. So did Dierdre and Kirsten. I ran over and gave them a big hug too. Then I gave my mom a big hug while Molly did the same.

“Thank you, mom! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“I couldn’t possibly refuse, honey. That would be nuts —- and probably even cruel.”
“I wish you had been at our house last night, mom. You too, Molly. I’ve decided that I want yesterday to be my birthday now because that’s the day Lisa was truly born. Dierdre and Kirsten threw me a surprise party with Dierdre’s friends and Kimmy.”
“Did you really? How sweet!” My mom hugged her daughters. “Well, happy birthday, sweetie!”
“Thanks, mom! Hey, you know what? You were away on business. How did you get here?”
“Oh, that’s easy. When Kimmy’s mother came to check on you last night, she knew who you were immediately. You know how well she knows our family, right? She knows that there is no cousin Lisa. If not for that, she wouldn’t have known. Anyway, she knew that her husband had been your obstetrician and she decided to check the list of special baby girls to see if you might be on it. Sure enough, there you were. So, she called me on my cell and told me I should come.”
“Mom?”
“Yes, sweetie?”
“What do we do about my… disgusting… you know?”

We all laughed.

“Well, you’ll both need to talk to a psychiatrist–“
“A shrink?”
“Yes, honey. It’s not because there’s anything wrong with you — we all know there isn’t. It’s necessary to see a psychiatrist because you have to have the go ahead from a psychiatrist to have the surgery that will make you a girl - when you turn eighteen.”
“Not until then?? Okay. I guess that works. Oh, hey, how about school?”
“Piece of cake! When we enrolled you in grade school we had a talk with the principal and told her all about what the doctor discovered when you were born. They began keeping parallel records, one for Kelly and one which is now Lisa’s. Whenever anything went into Kelly’s records they copied it into yours. They said that if you should find out you’re a girl, just let them know and they’ll simply get rid of Kelly’s records when we legally change your name, which we will do.”
“Oh, mom, I’m so happy.” I gave my mom another big hug. I would soon be a girl forever! I would be Lisa for good! Molly’s mother told her she had the same arrangement at her school. We were both just thrilled.
“Well, everyone, let’s have a nice lunch and celebration.”

Kimmy’s mom fired up the barbecue in their backyard and cooked us up some barbecued chicken and my mom made a salad. The girls and I got changed into swimsuits so that we could hop in the pool. Kirsten brought the swimsuit I had modeled for them during my mock pageant and handed it to me to put on. I slipped it on in the bathroom. It felt divine — I couldn’t wait to actually swim in it! When I walked back into the room Molly was there in her own swimsuit. She had on a cute flowered one-piece swimsuit. She looked adorable. We both thought the other looked cute in a swimsuit.

We went downstairs and outside into the backyard. We put down our towels on the lounge chairs and jumped in the pool. Molly and I had a blast swimming around in girls’ swimsuits. We moved to the hot tub for a while to warm back up again after we got cold in the pool. We had so much fun.

We got out of the hot tub to have desert. We had lemon, raspberry and mango sherbet and a small cookie. When we finished desert, the moms had another surprise for us.

“Lisa and Molly, we have something for you to honor this special occasion.”
“Awwww!”

Molly and I were handed a small light blue box with a ribbon on it.

“Go on, girls. Open them!”

We opened them and saw that we both had received a beautiful gold necklace with a gold pendant.

“Oh, mom, it’s beautiful! Thank you! Will you put it on me?”
“Of course.”

I held my hair to one side while my mother put my beautiful new necklace on me. I gave her a big hug. I didn’t have to look over at Molly to know she and her mother were engaged in similar interaction.

“Mom? Who is the lady on the pendant?”
“That’s Venus. She is the symbol of femininity.”
“Really? That’s so neat! Thank you, mom!”
“You’re welcome, my little angel.”

I couldn’t keep my eyes — or my hands — off of my beautiful necklace all day long.

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

I Carry On

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

Non-Fiction

Genre:

Romance

Character Age:

Mature / Thirty+

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

I Carry On

I look out the window, my forehead leaning against the cold glass, trying to see her. I let out a deep, troubled sigh as I search for her. She’s got to be out there somewhere, but how in the hell am I supposed to find her?

I ponder going out there after her, searching for her, never resting until I find her… but I know that I can not. Four weeks after my surgery, the flesh is most definitely too weak no matter how willing the spirit.

I stare out the window, feeling somewhat trapped at home, feeling impatient, feeling that more of my precious life is slipping through my fingers. I am riddled with angst at being stuck in limbo after already spending the first thirty five and a half years of my life trying to be someone who never really existed.

I miss her so much and it tears me apart that I have no idea if I will ever find her. I see other couples, so happy together — at least ostensibly — and I am painfully reminded of what my heart has cried out for all my life but has always been cruelly denied.

I sometimes wonder if it would behoove me to let go of her entirely — no easy task, considering that blossoming romance seems to be everywhere, rubbing potent salt in the wound of her absence - yet I continue the daily struggle to keep alive my hope of finding her. I know not whether I can emerge from that struggle victorious, but I fear that giving up the struggle can only doom me to a lifetime of loneliness.

With dark uncertainty, deep weariness, and piercing loneliness, I carry on. I can do nothing else.

Author's note: This piece is reflective and introverted. It's kind of an experiment for me. Please let me know what you think.

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Kerry, Libbi and Lynzie

Author:

Mona Lisa

Organizational:

Title Page

Contests:

Summer Romance 2008

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Other Keywords:

BigCloset Retro-Classic

Taxonomy upgrade extras:

----------=BigCloset Retro Classic!=----------

A girl can only stay locked in a closet so long.

Kerry, Libbi and Lynzie

by Mona Lisa

Admin Note: Originally published on BigCloset TopShelf on Friday 07-11-2008 at 2:10 am, this retro classic was pulled out of the closet, and re-presented for our newer readers. ~Sephrena

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Kerry, Libbi and Lynzie Part 1

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Contests:

Summer Romance 2008

Publication:

7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

College / Twenties

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

“Hey Kerry?”

“Yes?”

“Could I dress you as a girl sometime?”

“I would love it if you would... although... I would be kind of nervous to do it around here, at least for now.”

They had Sydney’s and Trish’s attention. Melanie gently put one hand on Kerry’s shoulder.

“I hear you loud and clear. Why don’t we set it up so that you three can hang out at my place for a weekend?”

Kerry, Libbi and Lynzie
Part 1

by Mona Lisa

Lynzie sat on the bathroom floor, crying, with her makeup looking as though she were starring in a trashy horror movie. She felt humiliated. She had sworn that she would never again allow herself to develop feelings for a girl who didn’t feel the same way. Yet, Lynzie had misread Sydney’s signals and it had happened again. On top of that, Lynzie revealed her feelings to Sydney while drunk at a crowded party.

She wanted to know why she had misread Sydney’s signals. Was Sydney sending out signals that she did not intend to -- like the last girl -- or was Lynzie simply clueless when it came to interpersonal signals? She went over everything in her head and tried to figure out what had gone so wrong.

* * * * *

Kerry had met Sydney, Trish and Melanie during their freshman year in college. They were attending a frat party. The four of them were standing in a back corner of a basement room with a small stage drinking cheap beer out of cheaper plastic cups. On stage was a terrible band playing what they tried to pass off as music. Sydney was dancing very deftly to the upbeat tune the band muddled through. Kerry found her dancing quite impressive -- and alluring. He struck up a conversation with the girls in hopes of being introduced to Sydney.

Sydney, Trish and Melanie thought, at first, that Kerry was another girl. His voice was androgynous. He had small stature, delicate features and thick, shoulder length hair of which more than one girl had admitted envy.

Several minutes into the conversation, the subject of significant others came up. Trish was the only one of the group who had one. She began talking about her boyfriend and she drifted into a separate conversation with Sydney. Kerry found himself thinking that he’d love to get to know Sydney better.

“So, Kerry, what about you? Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No. I’m straight.”

“Huh??”

Melanie looked at Kerry funny. Kerry giggled at the confusion to which he had grown so accustomed. He hazarded a glance at Sydney.

“I’m straight -- I’m also a guy.”

“Wait, you’re a guy?”

“Yeah! You thought I was a girl, huh?”

“Well, with those eyes and that hair -- I hate you, by the way -- yes, I did! I’m sorry about that!”

They giggled together. Kerry found himself wishing he could figure out a way to talk to Sydney -- not that it wasn’t fun talking to Melanie.

“Don’t worry about it. It happens all the time. Besides, if I hated being mistaken for a girl I wouldn’t have grown my hair this long.”

Melanie looked at him for a moment and smiled.

“So, does that mean you like being mistaken for a girl?”

Suddenly, Melanie had his full attention.

“Oh shit,” he thought.

He had only meant to convey that the confusion didn’t bother him. He had not intended to reveal that he did, in fact, enjoy having a feminine appearance. At least he hadn’t let his entire secret slip out! Kerry took a swig of brew as he tried to figure out how to get himself out of this one.

“I-I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to,” Melanie thought.

Melanie sipped her beer as she looked at him approvingly for a moment and smiled.

“Well, just so you know, it doesn’t bother me at all either way.”

She clearly suspected that Kerry liked his feminine appearance. What could he say?

“Thanks for saying so,” he thought.

“Well, um, you’re certainly an open-minded girl.”

He smiled nervously and took another sip.

“Thanks! I try to be.”

Suddenly, Kerry had an idea how he might chat with Sydney.

“Well, maybe we should tell your friends that I’m a guy so that we can clear up any misunderstanding.”

He chuckled at the latest round of confusion.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea!”

Melanie tapped Trish on her shoulder.

“Hey, you two. Did you know that Kerry is a guy?”

Sydney’s eyebrows raised and Trish dropped her jaw.

“No! You’re a guy?”

“Get out! Really?”

Finally, Kerry had Sydney’s attention! Kerry smiled at her.

“Yup, I’m a guy.”

Sydney was amazed.

“Wow, you totally look like a girl.”

Trish agreed with Sydney.

“Yeah, Melanie should dress you up sometime -- she loves to dress up guys -- it’s like her fetish!”

Melanie suddenly looked as though she were caught with her pants down.

“Shut up! Don’t tell people that!”

“Oh, shit! Was that private?”

“Well, yes and no. I just don’t want it to be common knowledge because it might scare off guys. I mean, if you were a guy and you thought I might want to dress you up as a girl would you want to date me?”

Sydney answered compassionately.

“I would if I were a guy that liked that sort of thing. There are lots of guys like that, too, you know.”

“Yeah Mel, she’s right,” Trish reassured her. “There are guys like that.”

“Where? I’ve tried going to online personals sites but the only ones where I can find them are basically porn sites -- or at least it sure as hell looks like it! Anyway, I don’t want that to be openly known, okay?”

Sydney and Trish felt bad.

“I’m sorry, Melanie. I didn’t know that was a secret. I will never reveal that again without your permission.”

“I didn’t know either, Melanie -- and I won’t say anything to anyone either. I’m really sorry.”

Sydney and Trish seemed genuinely remorseful, but poor Melanie stood there hugging herself. Kerry put in his two cents.

“Melanie, I would never tell anyone either unless I knew it was okay with you.”

“Thanks, you guys!”

Melanie hugged each of them and decided it was time to change the subject. Opportunity came walking down the basement stairs.

“Hey, Syd, isn’t that the guy you have a crush on? What’s his name? Mark?”

“Oh, yeah, it is Mark!”

Kerry did not want to hear that! He liked Sydney quite a bit -- for multiple reasons -- but when he saw what Mark looked like, he got the familiar sinking feeling that he would never hold up to the competition. Hell, Sydney could take her pick of the most butch, rugged, manly men on campus. Why the hell would she choose a tiny boy like Kerry who looked more like a girl?

Trish and Sydney began chatting among themselves. Kerry still wanted to chat with Sydney, but he didn’t want to hurt Melanie’s feelings. She was fun to talk to and he liked her quite a bit as a friend. Besides, he really felt for her embarrassment. He knew that if he were summarily outed that way he would probably run out of the place crying. He wanted to make sure that she was okay. With the other two girls distracted, Kerry spoke quietly to Melanie.

“Melanie, listen, it’s really okay that you like to dress up guys -- or at least, it’s really okay with me.”

Melanie looked at him sheepishly.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. I’ll bet your friends only brought that up because they suspected I would be okay with it, given my appearance.”

Melanie shyly looked at her hands.

“Maybe.”

Kerry glanced around. He knew that her harmless fetish had made her feel like a freak -- at least at times -- and he knew the feeling.

“If I tell you something private about me, can I trust you to keep it to yourself?”

“Yes, absolutely! I mean, I know I was stupid enough to tell my friends about my little secret -- not that it’s secret now -- but let’s just say I won’t make the same mistake twice!”

She smirked bitterly at Trish.

“Okay, you can not tell another soul about this, but...” He took a deep breath. “I like being dressed as a girl -- actually, I love it -- so it really doesn’t bother me that you enjoy doing the dressing.”

Melanie relaxed and smiled at Kerry.

“Really?”

“Really. I would never make up something like that. I don’t screw around with people’s heads.”

Kerry shrugged and Melanie smiled at him warmly.

“Well, thanks for telling me.”

“You’re welcome.”

Their conversation trailed off for a moment as the band played its least cohesive tune of the entire evening.

“Jesus Christ!” Kerry held up his beer. “Are they fucked up on this piss or do they just plain suck?”

Melanie cracked a smile.

“I think they’re fucked up and they suck.”

They began laughing. Just then, one of the band members went to switch from his acoustic guitar to his electric guitar. After he removed the strap from his shoulder he dropped his acoustic guitar and it hit the ground with a twanging thud. Kerry and Melanie laughed like a couple of drunk hyenas.

“Oh my God, they even suck at fucking up!”

Melanie threw back her head and laughed at Kerry’s observation.

“And yet, they’re better at fucking up than they are at playing!”

Kerry couldn’t agree more.

“Yeah, they are! I could probably play better than they do -- and write better music, too!”

“Really? What instrument do you play?”

“Keyboards.”

“Cool! Do you really write music?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“That’s so cool! What kind of stuff do you write?”

“Soulful stuff. Ballads, light rock, and stuff like that.”

“Ooh, that’s my favorite stuff!”

“Cool! You like to be moved, too?”

“Oh, yes! If it doesn’t move me it’s not music -- or at least that’s what I think!”

“I’ve always felt that way, too!”

“That’s so cool! I would love to hear some of your stuff -- in fact, I wish you would go up on stage and send them off on an indefinite break!”

* * * * *

Sydney’s words of rejection echoed in Lynzie’s head. Sydney had tried to be merciful, but rejection is rejection.

Whatever the case, what the hell had Lynzie been thinking of to tell her while drunk? Oh, that’s right. Lynzie wasn’t thinking -- she was drunk. Now she was embarrassed.

Lynzie stood up to clean her face. She grabbed some toilet paper and began removing her mascara. She looked at herself miserably in the mirror. It was supposed to be a very special night for her and it was a complete disaster. She felt like leaving the party and going back to her dorm.

She dabbed at her face to get rid of the runny mascara and did her best to clean herself up. She was still trying to figure out how she got so lost again, and her mind wandered as she worked.

* * * * *

A month after the frat party, Kerry, Melanie, Sydney and Trish were returning from having dinner off campus followed by a movie and they were heading to Sydney and Trish’s room. They were walking past the main lounge in Sydney’s and Trish’s dorm. That particular lounge had a “baby grand” piano standing in the middle of it. The piano was old and somewhat beat up but it still had a decent sound.

Melanie informed the group that Kerry played keyboards and wrote music. She pleaded with him to play something. Kerry was somewhat hesitant, since there were other students about the lounge that night, but he shrugged and walked over to the piano. He sat down at the instrument and adjusted the bench. Sydney sat down beside him, much to his delight -- making him wonder if he’d be able to concentrate on the music. Meanwhile, Melanie stood just on Kerry’s other side. Kerry got the feeling that Melanie wanted to be sitting on the bench next to him.

Kerry began to play his most recent song. He sang the lyrics as he played, hoping his quiet voice would be heard over the piano. He had written the song about the gender confusion that he was experiencing -- but he wasn’t about to tell them that! Fortunately, he wouldn’t have to. His lyrics illustrated confusion only in a broader sense. Nowhere in the song did he indicate that the confusion -- at least for him -- was gender related.

He finished his performance and his small entourage applauded -- as did everyone else in the lounge! Kerry smiled self-consciously as he stood up and took a bow for everyone present. Kerry’s companions stood to head upstairs. Sydney gently put a hand on Kerry’s shoulder.

“Kerry, that was awesome!”

“Thank you, Sydney!”

“Yeah, Kerry, that was just beautiful!”

Melanie was a bit choked up and she gently touched his other shoulder with one hand.

“Thanks, Melanie!”

“Oh, you’re welcome! Will you play us some more of your songs! Please?”

Sydney liked that idea and she smiled at him brightly.

“Yeah, can we hear more?”

“All right, I’ll play some more.”

Kerry returned to the piano, where Melanie was now sitting on the bench, and sat down beside her. For a moment he thought he felt Melanie slide closer to him. He began playing other songs that he had written. Most of them were about love, but one of them was about having no idea what Kerry wanted to do with his life. Another was about turning his laundry basket of whites pink after he accidentally put a red sock in the machine with the load.

After each song, the students in the lounge applauded and at the end of his performance, Kerry took a final bow to the applause of everyone in the lounge.

“Thank you very much, everyone! I don’t have a band yet, but I’ll be playing with myself all over campus!”

Everyone laughed at Kerry’s joke and the four of them went upstairs to Sydney’s and Trish’s room.

On the following Friday, Kerry got a call from Melanie, who asked if he wanted to take a walk with her. Kerry knew intuitively that she needed to talk about something and he readily accepted her offer. He always did when someone needed to talk; it was very instinctive for him.

They met up outside her dorm and began walking in the nearby woods. After catching up about the week, Melanie garnered the nerve to ask Kerry what she had been wanting to know since she heard him play.

“Hey Kerry, can I ask you a question about one of your songs?”

“Sure! Go right ahead.”

Melanie briefly smiled at him. She took a breath... and then she took the plunge.

“I really liked the song you wrote about confusion. There’s something I’ve been confused about for a while and your song really got to me. I’ve been wanting to know what kind of confusion you were expressing in your song -- if you’re comfortable sharing that, I mean.”

“Oh, Christ! You had to ask! Well, it serves me right. If I didn’t want people asking about that song then I probably should not have played it,” Kerry thought.

“I mean, I get that you want anyone to be able to sing it and not just someone who’s going through the exact same confusion as you, but I’m dying to know what your confusion was -- or is.”

She chuckled and he smiled at her. What was he going to tell her? Melanie picked up on his hesitation.

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll tell you about my confusion first. I think that might make it feel more comfortable to talk about yours.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, well, I’m confused about my sexual orientation. Sometimes, I’m attracted to a guy, and sometimes, I’m attracted to a girl. Sometimes I just want to know which it is -- or if it’s both, you know?”

“Yeah, I do. That must be hard.”

He spoke with deep empathy, putting an arm around her. He felt her sidle up to him.

“It is hard. I’ve been single a long time and... I’m getting really tired of it!”

“I know that feeling. Oh, how I know that feeling.”

“You do?” She put her arm around him. “Is it because of what you’re confused about?”

“Yeah, it is.”

Kerry was silent for a moment. Should he really tell her? She had revealed her secret, but that didn’t mean that he had to disclose his. He hadn’t asked her to share. However, Melanie appeared to be disappointed.

“Maybe you’re not ready to talk about it. I’m sorry. I’m sticking my nose where it--”

“No, it’s okay, really.”

Kerry knew what he had to say. He understood that Melanie had identified with his song about confusion and he realized that she was feeling very alone. She needed to know whether she was the only one who felt different! Kerry knew that feeling all too well -- and that did it. He told her everything.

“My song is about, um...” He swallowed. “It’s about gender confusion.”

He tensed for her response, but Melanie looked genuinely pleased to hear it. She stopped walking and looked at Kerry. He stopped walking with her.

“Wow! Now I really see what your lyrics mean. That must be difficult to grapple with.”

Kerry stopped and looked at her for a moment. Slowly, he nodded his head.

“It is. I’m not sure what to think yet. All I know now is that I don’t identify with guys at all but I do identify with girls -- and I love to dress as a girl, as I told you at that frat party. I mean, there’s so much to it, but just to give you one example, I’m always thinking how I’m not big and muscular like other guys, or aggressive like other guys, or rough like other guys or loud like other guys and--”

Kerry abruptly trailed off as he realized what he was saying. He noticed that Melanie was looking at him with deep concern in her eyes. She sensed that he wasn’t quite finished and she remained silent.

“Jesus!”

He looked around the woods for a moment and looked into Melanie’s eyes.

“I’m a girl, Melanie! When I say I’m not big or aggressive or rough or loud like other guys, it’s just different ways of saying that I’m not a guy at all. In other words, that’s why I’m not aggressive or rough or loud like other guys! I’m not a guy! I’m a girl! Jesus, I really am a girl!”

Kerry became very emotional. He had known on some level all along, but he was feeling very overwhelmed.

“Oh wow!”

Without hesitation, Melanie stepped toward Kerry and wrapped her arms around him.

Into his ear, she said softly, “Well, for what it’s worth, I think that makes you officially special!”

Tears began to leak from Kerry’s eyes and for a moment he clung to her, choked up and grateful for Melanie’s warm acceptance.

“You know, Kerry, we girls are free to cry if we want to -- unlike guys -- so if you want to, please go right ahead and cry.” She paused as she looked off into the distance. “God knows I do.”

Kerry began crying almost as if on cue. Melanie seemed to know how to emotionally touch him just the right way at just the right time; Melanie held him for a long while and comforted him.

“Melanie?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think that... Trish and Sydney... are going to accept me?”

Melanie gave him a squeeze.

“Yes, I do. They’re very open-minded girls.”

Kerry breathed a sigh of relief.

“Good. I want to tell them next. I mean, I don’t know who else I’m going to tell, but... I just want to make sure that they hear it from me.”

“I think that’s very wise.”

“Yeah. Anyway, Melanie, um... if you ever need to talk about your confusion again, will you please let me know?”

She nodded at him and smiled.

“I will. That’s a promise.”

* * * * *

Lynzie finished removing her mascara -- or trying to. She looked at herself in the mirror for a moment. Then she put down the lid on top of the toilet seat and sat down. She sat still, looking at her hands and watching her fingers play with the ring she was wearing. She paused to wipe a tear from one eye and resumed playing with the ring, not taking her eyes off of it. She wasn’t ready to come out of the bathroom, and she let her mind go where it would.

* * * * *

“What are you going to have, Kerry?”

“I’ve got a hankering for a Belgian waffle with whipped cream and strawberries, actually. The nice thing about a pancake house like this is that they serve them twenty-four-seven.”

Melanie was tantalized with Kerry’s choice -- and wondered if something was bothering him.

“Ooh, that sounds super yummy!”

“Want to split it? There’s no frigging way I’ll eat it all.”

“Sure! Thanks!”

“Anytime!”

Like Melanie, Sydney detected something wrong somewhere within Kerry.

“Um, hold the phone a second! A Belgian waffle with whipped cream and strawberries is definitely comfort food. Is there anything that you need to talk about, Kerry?”

“Yes, Sydney, um, th-there is something I wanted to tell you and Trish... about me...”

Kerry took a breath. He was way more nervous about telling Sydney than he was about telling Melanie -- probably because Sydney was the one he liked.

“Okay, Kerry. Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that we’re all ears.”

“That’s right,” confirmed Melanie, putting one hand gently on Kerry’s shoulder.

“Thanks, you guys. Okay... well, here it is.”

Kerry took another deep breath.

“I was taking a walk with Melanie the other day and while we were in the woods I--”

“Woo hoo! Walking in the woods with a girl! You go--”

“Trish, shut the fuck up!”

Melanie silenced her. As much as Melanie hated to acknowledge it, romance had had nothing to do with it, no matter how much she wished it had.

Trish put up her hands.

“All right, all right, I’m sorry. I don’t mean any disrespect.”

“We’re just friends is all,” Melanie informed her as she took a big sip of her vanilla milkshake the way one might take a big swig of one’s drink to calm one’s nerves.

“Ow! Dammit!”

“Brain freeze?” Kerry empathized.

“Yes! Ow! Shit!”

Melanie began giggling and got Kerry started. Seconds later all four were chortling at Melanie, who was turning as red as a ripe strawberry. Kerry summoned a waitress and asked for a cup of hot tea. Melanie knew that he ordered it for her as a way of easing her “cold headache” and she smiled at him. The waitress left to get the tea and Kerry resumed where he left off, somewhat relaxed by the humor of Melanie’s antics.

“Anyhow, where was I? Oh yeah, walking in the woods and talking with Melanie. Okay, so, what happened was that Melanie was asking about the song I played you that I wrote about confusion. She wanted to know more specifically what kind of confusion.”

Kerry took a breath as the waitress put the tea in front of him. When she left, Kerry slid the tea to Melanie, who thanked Kerry as she took a sip to start working on her “cold headache”. It worked fast.

“So, I told her. The answer is that it’s about gender confusion.”

“You mean...” Trish started.

“That I’m transgendered,” Kerry finished for her.

“Wow! I’ve never met a transgendered person before.”

“Me either,” Sydney added, “but I have zero problem with that. You didn’t ask to be born that way and you’re not hurting anyone.”

“You got that right!”

“Are you... like a drag queen? I-I don’t mean to be...”

Okay, so Trish needed a bit of education. Fair enough.

“No, I am not a drag queen. I am not a female impersonator. I am a girl!”

Just saying it made Kerry feel good and he smiled.

“Oh, I see. You’re a transsexual?”

Kerry paused for a moment.

“Erm, well, yeah. That’s correct.”

“So you want the operation?”

“I think so, yes. It’s probably correct to think of me as a ‘pre-operative transsexual’ -- or maybe ‘pre-pre-operative’ or something.”

Kelly chuckled and Melanie softly giggled with him.

“Well, Kerry, my view of you hasn’t changed any -- except that it’s a prettier view.”

“Awww, thanks, Sydney! That’s so sweet of you to say!”

“You’re welcome.”

Kerry gave her a hug as a tear slipped from one eye, which he didn’t notice. As he sat back in his place, Melanie reached over and softly wiped it with one outstretched finger.

“Wha -- oh, was I leaking?”

“A little bit.”

“Oh, thanks, Melanie!”

“Anytime!” She smiled at him.

“Well, Kerry, I like what Sydney said and I doubt I’ll be able to top that, so there you have it!”

The four of them laughed as Trish got up and walked around the table for a hug.

“Thanks, Trish!”

Kerry gave her a hug and she returned to her seat.

“See, Kerry? I knew they’d be okay with it!”

Kerry hugged Melanie.

“Yeah, you were totally right! Anyway, damn, a girl could get used to this kind of treatment!”

Another round of laughs echoed off of the walls.

“Hello, folks, what can I get you this evening?” The waiter interrupted them.

“A Belgian waffle with whipped cream and strawberries, please!”

“And two forks!” Melanie added.

* * * * *

Lynzie listened to the sounds of the party on the other side of the bathroom door as she tried to compose herself. She heard the music playing from a computer attached to good quality speakers.

She heard guys being loud and obnoxious. She heard other girls laughing, cheering, chatting and socializing. She also heard the sounds of her sobs and sniffles and, faintly, the sound of her heart beating.

Then she heard a knock on the door.

* * * * *

One frigid Friday night during the February of their freshman year, Kerry, Melanie, Trish and Sydney sat at a dining hall table eating lunch. Sydney and Trish were off in their own conversation again and there was something new that Melanie was dying to know.

“Hey Kerry?”

“Yes?”

“Could I dress you as a girl sometime?”

“I would love it if you would... although... I would be kind of nervous to do it around here, at least for now.”

They had Sydney’s and Trish’s attention. Melanie gently put one hand on Kerry’s shoulder.

“I hear you loud and clear. Why don’t we set it up so that you three can hang out at my place for a weekend?”

“That sounds like fun!”

Kerry thought about spending an entire weekend with Sydney close at hand. He did also like the idea of spending time with Melanie, of course -- she really had been a true friend -- but Sydney really had his attention.

Suddenly, Melanie gasped and her eyes lit up.

“Oh my God! You know what? My mother will be away on the first weekend next month for this annual sales conference she has to go to. She’d probably have to be dying of malaria before she’d stay home from anything work related, so we’ll have the house to ourselves!”

All three of them were very keen on the idea of spending a whole weekend at Melanie’s house with no crappy dining hall food and no parents around -- which would make it very easy to have a few beers, too!

“So we could sneak over to your place while she’s gone and she’ll never know?”

Sydney was quite the clever one. Melanie looked at the ceiling for a moment.

“Well, no, because she would definitely notice food missing from the fridge and the pantry -- she gets rid of junk so there’s nothing in there that goes unused or unnoticed. Anyway, we would have to tell her that I’m having guests. Now, I’m not allowed to have boys over while she’s gone -- not that I haven’t broken that rule several times!”

She put one hand over her mouth as she giggled.

“With a single mom, it’s just too easy! But in this case, Kerry, I want to be sure that she doesn’t go asking questions, so I’m going to tell her that I’m having three girls over for a girly weekend.”

Kerry smiled.

“Why not? It’s the truth! I mean, just because one of them got stuck with a penis, it’s not her fault!”

Sydney and Melanie laughed.

“Good point. Anyway, why don’t we drive down there on that Friday right after classes? That way we could dress up Kerry at my place on Friday night. If you feel ready, Kerry, we could even take you out somewhere.”

“I think I would like that!”

“Cool! And you know what’s even better?”

“What?”

“On the Saturday night while my mom is gone, I’m going to an old friend’s party and she told everyone that we’re all welcome to bring other people!”

“Oh, neat!”

“Yeah! And Kerry, if you have fun on Friday night, well, nobody knows you in my home town, so you could even come to the party as a girl and be yourself!”

“Wow! I want to but I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it. I’m hoping I can overcome my nerves and go for it, though!”

* * * * *

Three weeks and a three-hour drive later, Melanie pulled her car up to her house. Trish was right behind her in own car with Sydney. Melanie and Trish both drove two-seat sports cars -- the only two cars of the group -- so they’d had to use both cars. Kerry had spent the trip wondering how he kept ending up with Melanie rather than Sydney. Melanie was a wonderful girl, and Kerry did enjoy the ride with her, but the heart wants what it wants.

“What a beautiful house, Melanie!”

Melanie smiled at Kerry.

“Thanks, Kerry!”

They got their bags out of the car and headed inside. They were in Melanie’s bedroom dropping off their bags when things got started.

“So. What do you guys want to do?”

Melanie glanced at Kerry, who had the smile on his face she was hoping for.

“Well, is it too early to dress me up?”

Sydney and Melanie smiled at him and Melanie answered for all three of them.

“Hell no!”

Melanie went to her closet.

“Let’s not keep you a guy any longer than we have to!”

Kerry smiled.

“Yes, let’s not!”

Melanie disappeared into her closet for a moment before reemerging.

“Any idea what you would like to wear, Kerry?”

“A skirt. Any skirt. I’m super-sick of pants!”

“You got it! Anything else?”

Kerry hesitated for a moment, but he was a girl and Sydney and Melanie knew it.

“Well, erm, I love wearing tights.”

Sydney giggled.

“I can’t wait to see what you look like, Kerry!”

Kerry smiled at her.

“Me either! Well, actually I do kind of know what I look like already.”

Melanie reappeared for a second.

“Oh, that’s right, you mentioned that you love being dressed as a girl which means you’ve been dressed as a girl before, right?”

“Right!”

“Tell us about it -- if you want to, I mean!”

Melanie went back to her closet.

“Sure, I’d like to tell you. Let’s see. I got started dressing as a girl when I was eight. I had a cousin living in the same town and my mother and I used to visit all the time. She was my age and the same size, fortunately for me. Her name was Winnie. Anyway, she always used to dress me up whenever I was at her place. Once or twice she even snuck an outfit over to my house. We had so much fun! She used to dress me up with everything, too, including underwear and skirts and tights and everything. I loved that! It felt so good, you have no idea!”

“I bet it did!” Melanie empathized.

Melanie had emerged from her closet and was laying on her bed a wine colored corduroy knee length skirt, long sleeve black cotton shirt, and a wine colored cardigan. She plunked a pair of black leather flats on the floor next to the bed and headed for her dresser.

“Does your cousin still live near you?”

Kerry got nostalgic.

“No, her dad got transferred halfway across the country.”

“How long ago was that?” Melanie wondered aloud.

“About five years.”

“Oh, you poor girl! You haven’t been able to be yourself in five years?”

“Nope.”

“Well let’s get you back in girl mode, chick!”

Kerry giggled at Melanie, who handed him a satin bra and a matching pair of panties.

“Thank you! I’m just going to change in your bathroom!”

“Go right ahead! My bathroom is your bathroom!”

Kerry hurried into the bathroom, closed the door, stripped, and carefully donned the beautiful lingerie. He removed the hair band that kept his hair in its usual pony tail and shook out his hair. He smiled at his girly reflection in the mirror and he went back to Melanie’s bedroom.

“Okay, I’m ready to get dressed!”

He put his clothes on Melanie’s bed.

“Excellent! Would you like a pedicure or no?”

“Ooh! Really? Could I?”

Kerry was very excited.

“Of course! You deserve to be yourself in all your glory this weekend.”

“Thanks, Melanie!”

She smiled at him.

“It’s my pleasure, remember?”

“Oh, yeah!”

Kerry remembered that she loved dressing up boys as girls -- not that Kerry was a boy.

Melanie went to work filing Kerry’s toenails and applying a few coats of pinkish red nail polish. Sydney got out Melanie’s hair dryer and dried Kerry’s toenails while Melanie did his fingernails. The sensation of Sydney touching his feet was absolutely heavenly -- not that it sucked to have Melanie touching his hands! Kerry was having the best weekend he had had in five years -- or perhaps his entire life! Sydney finished drying his toes and began to blow his fingernails dry. Meanwhile...

“Hey Kerry, I don’t have any tights that would fit you thanks to my short legs. However...”

She rummaged in her bag for a moment and pulled out two brand new packages of semi-sheer, off-white pantyhose. She handed them to Kerry who was smiling from ear to ear.

“Thank you, Melanie! You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

“Did you know that I love tights?”

“No, I didn’t. I had that outfit in mind and I often wear off-white hose with it, so I picked up a couple pairs for you in case you wanted them. Oh, um, I was going to recommend shaving your body hair but it appears that you’ve taken care of that already!”

Kerry smiled.

“Yup! I sure did! Arms, armpits, legs, all of it!”

Kerry ran his fingertips up and down his arm and the four girls giggled together.

“I used to keep my body hair shaved so that I would look as pretty as possible when my cousin dressed me up. Unfortunately, I knew my mother would notice that I wasn’t growing any body hair, so I finally had to let it start growing. Anyway, I figured we’d go all-out while we’re here and I decided to come prepared like I used to. I might get some razzing when we get back, but I don’t care. It’s so worth it!”

Melanie smiled at her new girl friend.

“Yeah, there’s nothing quite like smooth skin! Well, anyway, you can tell everyone that I got you drunk and shaved you!”

They giggled again.

“Thanks, Melanie. I just might take you up on that!”

Kerry smiled at Melanie. He opened a package of nylons, threw away the wrappings, slipped on the nylons and carefully smoothed them. His experience with them showed. He pulled on the skirt and shirt and got them settled in place. Then he put on the leather flats. Finally, he put on the cardigan.

“Well? How do I look?”

Kerry did a quick twirl for the girls and they both giggled at him.

“You look beautiful, Kerry!”

“Thanks, Melanie!”

“Yeah, Kerry, you look so pretty!”

“Thank you, Sydney!”

“Let me do just a couple more things!”

“Okay!”

Melanie grabbed some eyeliner, mascara and lipstick and applied it to Kerry’s face. Then, she selected a silver necklace with a five-petaled flower on it, small clip-on silver hoop earrings, and a silver ring that looked like part of it was tied in a knot. Last, Melanie did Kerry’s hair in a single braid behind her hair. She walked Kerry over to the full-length mirror at one end of her room. When Kerry saw his reflection, he wanted to cry -- but he didn’t want to mess up his makeup. He hugged Melanie -- and caught himself wishing he were hugging Sydney. He felt very guilty about that. Melanie had been wonderful to him and she deserved his gratitude, so he made that hug count. Kerry pulled back to look at himself again in the mirror.

“You really made me look pretty, Melanie! I-I don’t know what to say -- except thank you so much!”

Kerry hugged her again.

“You don’t have to say anything, Kerry -- and you’re welcome.”

“Damn, girl! You are looking fine!” Sydney joked. “I would love to take you out!”

“Really?”

Kerry loved to hear that -- but Sydney began to backpedal downhill.

“Erm, well, y-yes, I would love for the world out there to see the real you!”

She smiled nervously as Melanie remembered her “master plan” for the weekend.

“Oh, yeah! Kerry, have you ever been yourself outside of your house -- or your cousin’s?”

Kerry looked at her briefly before returning his gaze to the mirror.

“No, I haven’t. I’ve been wanting to, but of course my cousin moved away and I don’t have any of my own stuff.”

“Awww, you poor girl. It sounds like you’re ready to go out though, huh?”

Kerry thought for a moment and nodded.

“Yes, I am ready for that. A girl can only stay locked in a closet so long.”

“Awww!”

Melanie seemed to have endless compassion for Kerry.

“Of course, I’m nervous as hell about it, but it’s one of those things that won’t be free of nerves until I’ve done it enough times, you know?”

“Yeah, I do. Kind of like asking a boy if I could dress him up. I used to be so nervous about that when I got started because I was afraid that... well, you know.”

“They might think you were a freak?” Kerry finished for her.

Melanie looked down for a moment.

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Melanie, you are not a freak! You are a kind, loving, generous, loyal, supportive, compassionate friend--”

Melanie inwardly winced at the mention of “the other F word”.

“–and you’re fun to be with, too!”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah!”

Melanie heard all three of them, but her attention was riveted to Kerry and she was beginning to choke up.

“Awww, I think that’s probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

Melanie hugged Kerry quite snugly and Kerry held her for a few moments. He released the hug — but she didn’t. Kerry resumed hugging Melanie and glanced at Sydney with his eyebrows raised. Sydney subtly nodded her head.

Melanie released the hug and Kerry followed her lead.

“So, Kerry. Do you want to go out somewhere tonight? Maybe see a movie and have some good pizza? You’ll be safe with us — and remember you’re a total stranger to everyone in this town, so nobody’s going to have the faintest idea that you, um... got stuck with male equipment.” She hoped that was a proper way of saying it.

Kerry looked at her with a mixture of nerve and desire all over her face.

“Ye- well...” Melanie looked like a girl who was tired but trying to hide it. Kerry couldn’t just think of himself. “You just drove for three hours to get us here -- and so did you, Trish -- and I’m sure you must be pretty tired...”

Melanie did not hesitate.

“Yeah, but this is really important for you! You’ve been dealt a very difficult and painful hand and I want to help you to make your life easier however I can, even if it’s only for a little while. I know we have tomorrow night, but one night isn’t enough. It couldn’t be! I mean, neither could two nights, but...” She looked Kerry in the eyes. “If you want to go out tonight, I will! I will totally go out with you!”

Melanie suddenly bit her lip. Kerry was completely preoccupied with the idea of being himself outside her house. It was a lot to think about, it was making him nervous, and his brain never did work very well when nervous. He didn’t notice Melanie blurting out her feelings for Kerry. Melanie hadn’t intended to reveal her feelings for Kerry that way... although, part of her wished that Kerry had noticed when she did.

Sydney noticed it and she raised her eyebrows, smiling in mild surprise. She had suspected that Melanie felt that way, but she wasn’t sure until Melanie slipped up and blurted it out.

“You’re really up for that, you two?”

Kerry studied Sydney’s face as though attempting to read her mind.

“Of course we are!” Melanie answered for them both and headed to her dresser to grab her keys.

Sydney yawned. She was feeling a bit tired from her long week, but Melanie was right. This was important to a friend -- a friend who had had a lot of long weeks. She literally rose to the occasion as she stood up from the chair she was sitting in and stepped toward Melanie and Kerry.

“Yeah, I say we do it!”

Trish followed Sydney’s lead and stood.

“Me, too!”

Trish grabbed her purse.

“Okay! Let’s go!”

Melanie seemed almost as excited as Kerry to be going out for a night of fun with Kerry all dolled up — but she stopped for a moment at the top of the stairs.

“Hey Kerry, do you want to, um, use a different name while we’re out?”

“Yeah, sure! How about…”

He glanced around and saw a newspaper with a picture of a girl about his age on the front page. The caption revealed that the girl’s name was Libbi.

“How about Libbi?”

“That’s cute!”

“Thanks, Melanie!”

“You’re welcome! Okay, let’s go!”

Libbi had a blast! The movie they saw was a classic “chick flick” and the pizza was the best that Libbi had had in a while. The best part of Libbi’s whole night was just being herself without any of the bullshit façade she’d had to hide behind.

When they got home that night, they talked about the following night over a couple of beers. Libbi decided that she wanted to be herself at the party, too. Melanie was right. One night wasn’t enough.

Twenty hours later, Libbi looked even better than she had the previous night. This time, she wore a black denim miniskirt over micro-fishnet tights and a purple, sleeveless sweater with a scoop neck. Melanie did Libbi’s hair with a bit of extra body and did her makeup so that it was extra fancy. Libbi looked stunning. Melanie grinned from ear to ear at her work.

A short while later they arrived at the party. Melanie went to ring the doorbell.

“Melanie, wait a sec.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing’s the matter; it’s just that I’ve been thinking. I want to use a different name. I got Libbi from a newspaper picture of a complete stranger!”

Libbi giggled at herself and Melanie smiled at her.

“I want to have a better story than that behind my name!”

“Okay! What should we call you?”

“Well, right before my cousin moved away, she started to call me Lynzie. We only used that name two or three times and then she was gone. I forgot about that until now! Anyway, please call me Lynzie?”

“I love it!”

Melanie certainly was enthusiastic about it!

“Yeah, Lynz, that’s a cute name!”

Sydney liked it too -- even better!

“Come on, Lynz, let’s party.”

“Are you ready, Lynzie?”

“Yes, Melanie. I’m ready!”

Melanie rang the doorbell and her friend Ruby opened the door. They greeted each other enthusiastically with a great big hug and then Melanie introduced everyone.

“You two I’ve met a couple of times, but who’s this chick?”

Ruby asked with a pleasant smile on her face.

“Ruby, this is my good friend Lynzie from school. Lynzie, this is my friend Ruby from grade school.”

Lynzie spoke in a soft voice pitched slightly higher than her androgynous “male voice”.

“Oh, wow! You two have known each other a long time!”

“Yeah, we go all the way back to the days when Melanie used to love dressing up boys as girls.” Ruby gave Lynzie a wry look. “You aren’t a guy that Mel dressed up are you?”

Lynzie blanched at the question. She hoped to hell that Ruby hadn’t figured her out! She decided to try to diffuse the situation with humor.

“Holy shit! Do I look that bad?”

Ruby threw back her head and laughed. Lynzie laughed right along with her. Ruby put one hand on Lynzie’s shoulder as she reassured her.

“I’m just kidding, home girl. If you’re a guy, then I’m Elizabeth Fucking Taylor!”

The group laughed at Ruby’s energetic sense of humor.

“Seriously, girl!” She waved her hand around near Lynzie, “That look is totally hot!”

Lynzie smiled as her tension melted away.

“Well, I aim to tease, as the old saying goes!”

Lynzie got a round of laughs out of the group.

“You are all right, Lynzie. All right girls, come on in, throw your coats on the couch and grab yourselves a beer in the kitchen.”

“Thanks, Rube! Come on, Lynz.”

Melanie hooked her arm in Lynzie’s and walked her into the kitchen — which was empty.

“Are you okay, Lynz?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. For a moment there, I thought she knew!”

“Yeah, she had me going, too! Oh well. Care for a beer?”

“Yes, please! I could use a little something-something to calm my nerves.”

For the next couple of hours the room full of people had a great time. Then, Melanie privately asked Lynzie if she would like to play a song or two for the crowd. Melanie knew that Ruby had a keyboard and amplifier in her apartment.

Lynzie hesitated at first, but Melanie reassured her that she had heard Lynzie sing and her voice would not give away her secret. When she heard that, Lynzie felt confident enough to do it — and drunk enough -- and she did. She played a few of her love songs and glanced at Sydney throughout her performance, which was rather painful for Melanie to watch. However, Melanie kept her cool — and her buzz.

After her performance, Sydney asked to speak with her privately. Lynzie smiled brightly and enthusiastically consented. Sydney escorted Lynzie to Ruby’s bedroom and gently said that she had noticed Lynzie looking at her throughout her performance of love songs. Lynzie admitted it and she was drunk enough to reveal her feelings to Sydney. She had not been planning on revealing her feelings to Sydney while drunk at a party. However, alcohol does strange things to the brain. Lynzie revealed everything. She told Sydney how she noticed her the night of that frat party and approached the girls in hopes of meeting Sydney and talking to her. She told her how much she loved it when Sydney sat down at the piano bench in her dorm while Lynzie played. She told it how much she’d loved it when she told Sydney that she was a girl and Sydney said the view was prettier. Lynzie held back nothing.

Sydney became very uncomfortable. She gently told Lynzie that she didn’t feel the same way and that, for that matter, she wasn’t ready for a romantic relationship at that time anyway. Sydney also mentioned that she was not a lesbian, which Lynzie, in all her infinite drunkenness, failed to think of. Lynzie felt awful. She felt rejected; she felt embarrassed; most of all, she felt that she’d made a drunken ass of herself. Lynzie apologized to Sydney and excused herself, saying that she needed to use the bathroom. She darted for the bathroom, closed and locked the door behind her, sat down on the floor, and cried.

* * * * *

Lynzie heard the knock again.

“I’ll be right out!”

“Lynz? Is that you in there?”

“Yes.”

It was Melanie.

“May I come in? Sydney told me what happened and–“

Lynzie unlocked the door and admitted Melanie to her hell. Then she closed and locked the door behind them and began to cry again. She hugged Melanie.

“I made a complete fool of myself. I mean, at least it was in private, but still.”

“Still hurts?”

“Yeah, still hurts.”

“Awwww.”

“I mean, for God sake, how could it not occur to me that she’s not a lesbian?”

“Oh, honey this is only your second night as a girl in five years and you’re probably not used to thinking of things this way.”

Lynzie paused for a moment.

“Yeah, and I’m also drunk. I should never have gotten myself drunk.”

“Eh. It happens. I’ve been drunk a time or two in my day -- and one time I even puked in a planter. That was the only time I’ve been that drunk, though.”

Melanie had Lynzie giggling and Lynzie looked at her with a weak smile on her face.

“That’s okay.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

She smiled at Lynzie.

“Feel better?”

“Yeah, I do, but... ”

“But?”

“I think I would rather go back to your place, if that’s okay.”

Melanie smiled at Lynzie.

“Of course it’s okay. Do you want me to fix your make up?”

Lynzie glanced at the mirror.

“I do look more ghoulish than girlish. Yes, please.”

Melanie gently chuckled. She pulled a tube of mascara from her purse and quickly repaired Lynzie’s make up and dabbed up any that didn’t belong there.

“There you go! Beautiful as ever!”

“Thanks, Melanie.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Well, I guess we should find Sydney and Trish.”

“Yeah. Come on. Hold your head high, girl.”

Lynzie smiled at her.

“I will.”

Melanie smiled back as she unlocked the bathroom door and, arm in arm with Lynzie, set out to find Sydney and Trish. They spotted Sydney talking to a guy in one corner and approached her. Lynzie felt more nervous around Sydney than he ever had.

“There, you are, Syd. Listen, we’re going to go back to my place, okay?”

Sydney appeared understanding.

“Okay, I’ll see you around.”

That sounded funny to Melanie and Lynzie. Melanie was the one to ask, her eyebrows knitted.

“Is everything okay, Sydney?”

Sydney looked a bit bashful.

“Um, I think it’s best if, um...” She paused for a moment. “Trish and I are going back to campus after the party... I don’t mean to hurt anyone. It’s just... anything romantic makes me uncomfortable right now. It’s not your fault, Lynzie. It’s because of a bad experience I had with a guy. I’m at this really weird phase right now where I love to flirt -- and I have a crush on Mark -- but anything beyond that freaks me out.”

Melanie and Lynzie understood Sydney’s feelings -- but Lynzie felt extra low. Their weekend together was ruined! Melanie looked over at Lynzie as she picked up on her reaction and gently squeezed Lynzie’s arm to reassure her.

“I think we can both understand that, Sydney.” Melanie gestured toward herself and Lynzie. “We’re going to head back to my place, so...” Something occurred to Melanie. “Are you or Trish okay to drive?”

Sydney nodded her understanding.

“I am, yes. Trish is, well...” Sydney giggled. “Let’s just say it might be an interesting ride back, but we’ll be okay. Thanks for asking. Listen--”

“You’re welcome.”

“Lynzie, I... I don’t want to hurt you at all. I promise we’ll talk about this when we get back and we’ll work through this, okay? We’re still friends -- I hope.”

“We’re still friends, Sydney.”

Melanie smiled at Lynzie.

“Good! I’m so glad to hear that!”

“We’ll see you later, Sydney.”

“Yes, I’ll see you when we get back. Lunch, like always?”

Lynzie smiled.

“Yes, lunch like always.”

Melanie smiled at her friends.

“Sydney, will you please call when you get back so that we know you made it?”

Sydney nodded.

“Of course. It will probably be like three in the morning, but I will call.”

“Okay. Thanks! We’ll see you when we get back!”

Melanie squeezed Sydney’s shoulder.

“Yeah, see you then! Hey, where the hell is Trish?”

They glanced around but didn’t see her.

“Shit! I better go find her.”

Melanie and Lynzie chuckled.

“Okay. Take a look out on the little deck out back and see if she’s there.”

“Yeah, good idea! Okay, bye!”

Sydney smiled at them and waved without hugging them. Melanie and Lynzie turned to say goodbye to Ruby on their way out.

“Hey Rube! We’re going to take off a bit early tonight.”

“So soon?”

“Yeah--” Melanie glanced at Lynzie and saw that she was distracted by another girl -- another drunk girl -- who had struck up a conversation and seemed to be all over Lynzie. Time to get Lynzie out of there! Melanie smiled as she whispered to Ruby.

“Lynzie and I are going to be alone the rest of the weekend, so...”

“Really? Damn, how’d you swing that?”

“I’ll give it to you later.”

Ruby understood.

“Okay. Get out of here! Have fun --”

“Will do!”

Melanie beamed.

“-- and maybe some safe sex?”

Ruby gave her a wink and a thumbs up.

“Oh, shut the fuck up!”

Ruby laughed.

“Okay, bye Mel!”

“Bye Rube!”

They embraced and Melanie was ready to leave.

“Ready, Lynz?”

Lynzie politely ended her other conversation -- as if the other girl would remember it in the morning!

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Lynzie was eager to leave the scene of her debacle -- but before she did, she hugged Ruby.

“It was so nice to meet you, Ruby!”

“Likewise! Come back any time, Lynz!”

“Okay, I will! Bye!”

“Bye!”

Melanie’s house seemed so large and quiet without Sydney and Trish there. It gave Lynzie a feeling of weekend plans gone awry. However, Lynzie was beginning to realize that she didn’t miss them as much as she thought she would. She wondered what that meant. Did it mean she was no longer attracted to Sydney or --

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Sure, Mel. What do you have? Any good romance flicks?”

Melanie smiled with pleasant surprise as they climbed the stairs to the family room.

“I think I can find something.”

They walked into the family room and approached a cabinet on the left-hand side of the TV. She opened its wooden doors and looked through the collection it housed.

“So, Lynzie, you’re one of those who watches romance flicks when heartbroken as a reminder that romantic things can still happen, yeah?”

“You’ve got my number, all right!”

“Eh, I’m the same way.”

She winked at Lynzie. A few moments later, Melanie found the movie she was looking for. She pulled out the movie Serendipity with John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale.

Lynzie’s hand moved to her heart.

“Oh, I love that movie!”

“Me, too! It’s one of my favorites!”

Melanie happily fed the movie to the DVD player. They sat together on the couch watching the previews and chatting until the movie began. They relished every second of it, emitting only tears until the very end.

When the movie was over, Melanie stopped the DVD player and smiled at Lynzie.

“Well, there you go!”

“I never get tired of that movie, Mel!”

“Neither do I! I’m sure it will remain a cherished favorite! Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a bit of a hankering.”

Lynzie smiled.

“Yeah? For what?”

“Ice cream! Come on!”

Melanie led Lynzie down to the kitchen and got out some ice cream from the freezer.

“You did tell your mother we’re here, right?”

Melanie smiled at her.

“Of course I did.”

Melanie rolled her eyes flirtatiously.

“Well, technically I told her there would be four us, but who gives a shit?”

Melanie smiled devilishly as she began to scoop the ice cream into a couple of bowls.

“I’m sure she stretched a few rules in her day.”

“Yeah, right?”

They smiled at each other.

“So, how are you feeling, Lynzie?”

“Better, thanks -- thanks to you -- not that ice cream won’t hit the spot right now.”

They shared a giggle.

“You know what, Melanie?”

Melanie glanced at him as she garnished the ice cream with colorful sprinkles.

“What?”

“I think I love the idea of being with someone and not really Sydney herself. I mean, now that I think of it... how good of a match are we?”

“I don’t know, really.” Melanie thought for a moment. “Although, if you’re feeling doubt about it then probably not a very good one -- especially if you have to ask how good a match you are.”

Lynzie nodded.

“Now, there’s an excellent point!”

They giggled.

“Anyway, it wasn’t rejection that got me so upset. Do you know what it was?”

Melanie shrugged pleasantly.

“Tell me about it.”

Melanie handed Lynzie a bowl of ice cream and returned the ice cream to the freezer.

“I misread all of the signals -- or the lack thereof -- and that was not the first time I’ve misread a girl’s signals.”

Melanie brought over a couple of glasses of Diet Coke and sat down at the table next to Lynzie.

“I know the feeling. I probably can’t interpret my own fucking signals!”

Lynzie smiled at her and took a bite of ice cream. The sprinkles were red and tasted strongly of raspberries.

“Wow, this is yummy!”

Melanie smiled.

“Yeah, it’s awesome! It’s been one of my favorite comfort foods for a very long time. God help me if they ever stop making this ice cream -- or these sprinkles!”

They giggled together. Lynzie smiled at her.

“So you were telling me about misreading signals?”

“Oh yeah. I seem to misread signals -- either that or I’m not clear on what is a signal and what’s not. Maybe I was only seeing what I wanted to see -- or thought I wanted to see. I don’t know.”

“I’m sure you’re not the only one who’s done that,” she said quietly, looking down at her bowl of ice cream as she took another bite.

“Yeah. It’s just that I feel like I’m not getting any better at it and that’s what really troubles me. God, maybe I should read a book on body language or something.” Lynzie chuckled. “Anyway, at least Sydney and I are still friends. Last time, the friendship died between me and the girl I liked. That hurt like a bitch! I mean, I tried to talk about it with her and work through it like Sydney wants to, but... oh, fuck it. That’s history. Forget it!”

Lynzie chuckled and Melanie looked at him with empathy.

“I’m sorry to hear that your friendship didn’t last. Anyway, it’s her loss. She must be mentally ill to give up someone like you.”

Lynzie smiled warmly at her.

“That’s a very nice thing to say! Thank you!”

“I like saying nice things to you,” Melanie thought.

“Well, it’s the truth, Lynz -- and you’re welcome!”

Melanie put one arm around Lynzie and Lynzie reciprocated. Melanie had been wonderful to Lynzie and Lynzie really liked her. By helping Lynzie to be herself for the first time in five years she gave Lynzie something priceless. The outfits she picked out -- of her own closet -- were beautiful. The ice cream with raspberry sprinkles was to die for. Melanie helped Lynzie eat her Belgian waffle while they were at the pancake house so that Lynzie wouldn’t be the only one pigging out. Most of all, Melanie’s support for Lynzie’s transgenderism had been unwavering and had really made Lynzie feel good. Lynzie was beginning to think that she had been interested in the wrong girl all along. Suddenly, she found herself very happy to be alone with Melanie.

Melanie finished her ice cream and put the spoon in the bowl. Moments later, Lynzie finished hers as well. Melanie began to clear the table without being asked and Lynzie automatically helped her. When they were done, Melanie led Lynzie upstairs to the family room.

“Do you want to watch another movie? We can just talk if you want to. I mean, whatever you want to do we’ll do. You’re the guest!”

“And you’re a wonderful hostess.”

Lynzie smiled at her. Melanie went to turn on the lights, but Lynzie gently put one hand on hers and stopped her.

“Not yet. I hope you don’t mind, but...” Lynzie looked into Melanie’s eyes. “I kind of like the mood lighting, so to speak!”

Melanie’s smile could have melted a glacier.

“I’m so glad to hear you say that!”

She put her arms around Lynzie, who just as eagerly wrapped hers around Melanie -- who didn’t dare get her hopes up prematurely without being sure that she should.

“Hey, Lynz, um... i-is something happening here?”

“Yeah, something is happening.”

They held each other snugly for several moments and Lynzie loosened her hug enough to look into Melanie’s eyes. Lynzie smiled at Melanie like she never had before.

“You’ve been an angel, Melanie. You’ve always been so good to me in every way.”

Melanie didn’t dare speak. She was afraid that if she opened her mouth she would ruin what she was hoping was happening.

“Melanie, you’re the one I should be with.”

Lynzie moved her face close to Melanie’s.

“I just wish I’d seen it a lot sooner!”

Lynzie kissed Melanie long and hard. Neither was in any rush to come up for air. They both teared up as the kiss endured. After the kiss ended they shared another... and another. For a good while, they thought about nothing other than feeding each other’s hunger for love.

After the best hour that either of them had ever experienced, they finally took a break and just held each other.

“Lynzie, I have wanted this ever since I met you.”

Lynzie softly stroked her cheek.

“I’ve wanted this ever since I was old enough to understand attraction.”

Melanie kissed her again -- and Lynzie’s eyes sparkled as a thought occurred to her.

“Mel, did I see a piano in your living room?”

She rolled her eyes coquettishly.

“You did. Why do you ask?”

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Come on!”

Lynzie grabbed Melanie’s hand and led her to the living room, where they both sat on the piano bench.

“You know, Lynz, when you were playing for us on campus in that lounge, I was jealous when Sydney sat on the bench with you while you played -- although, at least I got a turn.”

Lynzie smiled at her.

“I thought I was getting that vibe! Well, now I’m all yours.”

“Excellent!”

Melanie smiled as she put one arm around Lynzie.

“Yeah! Anyway, I’ve always wanted to sing my love to someone special and, well, now I have someone special to sing to.”

Lynzie began “tickling the ivories” for Melanie. She played more of her original love songs but not the ones she’d played at the party. Drunk or not, she’d managed to save her best songs for a time when she had found her true love -- and was sober. Now, she had the right girl sitting beside her and it was time to unveil them.

Lynzie played one after the other and drew more tears from them both. A few songs in, Melanie gave Lynzie a peck on the cheek as she played. It was an hour later that they heard applause coming from the other side of the front door.

“Who the fuck--?”

Melanie got up to check the front door -- annoyed at having her precious time with her dream girl interrupted.

“Yeah, Mel! You go girl!”

“Sydney??”

Melanie opened her door.

“And me,” Trish giggled drunkenly.

“What are you two doing here?”

Sydney smiled at her sheepishly.

“We, um, left our stuff here.”

Melanie tried to be nice.

“Oh, okay. Stay right there!”

She grabbed Lynzie’s hand and they ran upstairs to Melanie’s room, grabbed Sydney’s and Trish’s stuff and brought it to the front door.

“Okay, here you go. Drive safely now! Buh-bye!”

Melanie shut the front door, making all four of them laugh. From outside the front door came, “Hey!! Aren’t you going to ask us in out of the cold?”

Melanie did the talking.

“No! Your car has a working heater. Go away -- and get Trish back before she pukes!”

“Okay! Have a good night, you two -- wait a minute!!” Sydney gasped. “Oh, my God, are you two --?”

“Yes! Fuck off!”

“Fucking off! Buh-bye!”

Everyone laughed -- and Melanie wrapped her arms around Lynzie again. They yawned together.

“Christ, what time is it?”

Melanie looked at her watch.

“Holy shit! It’s one in the morning! Those fools won’t get back to campus until four!”

“Tomorrow’s Sunday. They can frigging sleep in!”

“Do you think Sydney’s alert enough to drive?”

“I thought she looked okay. What did you think?”

“I really thought she was alert and lucid. She’s responsible about drinking...”

They fell silent as they looked at each other questioningly for a moment, sighed and nodded together.

“As much as I hate to give up being alone with you --”

“-- we’d better have them stay here for the night,” Melanie agreed as she headed for the door -- but before she could put her hand on the knob, Trish’s engine roared to life and they were gone. Melanie put her hands on her hips and turned to face Lynzie.

“Well, so much for that!”

They smiled at each other, relieved that they could spend the rest of the weekend together uninterrupted.

“I hope they’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, me too.”

They moved closer together and hugged each other. Before they let go, Lynzie sang one last song very softly in Melanie’s ear. They began to sway in time with the music. When Lynzie finished the song they kissed again. They decided it was getting late and it was time to get ready for bed. They made sure that everything was cleaned up downstairs, turned off all of the lights in the house and made sure the doors were locked. Then they slowly climbed the stairs to the second floor. Melanie gave Lynzie a nightgown to wear -- and Lynzie began to wonder where she should sleep.

“Hey, Melanie, where, um--”

Melanie took Lynzie’s hand and silently led her into her bedroom where Melanie closed the door behind them. She took Lynzie’s hand again and led her toward the queen-size bed. Lynzie, with a big smile on her face, followed Melanie to bed and happily climbed in alongside her. They pulled her comforter over them, cuddled up and kissed until they became drowsy.

“Sleep well, sweetie.”

“You too.”

“Goodnight, Mel!”

“Goodnight, Lynz!”

They gave each other one last deep, long kiss, and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

To Be Continued...

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Kerry, Libbi and Lynzie Part 2

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Contests:

Summer Romance 2008

Publication:

500 < Short Story < 7500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

College / Twenties

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

“Oh, honest to God, Mom! No!”

“Whose black suitcase is that on your bedroom floor with the boys’ briefs peeking out of it?”

Lynzie’s face went white.

“I thought so. You two are busted.”

Kerry, Libbi and Lynzie
Part 2

by Mona Lisa

Lynzie awoke to the sun streaming through Melanie’s window and dancing in Melanie’s hair just for Lynzie. She smiled warmly and enjoyed the show. She lay comfortably in bed, within kissing distance of Melanie. Lynzie felt more than happy just to be lying there with Melanie — she felt special. Lynzie felt her love for Melanie envelope her as though the comforter were made of it. For a few moments, Lynzie gazed at Melanie and enjoyed a peace unlike anything she had ever experienced. Melanie slowly opened her eyes and smiled at Lynzie.

“Good morning, sweetie.”

Melanie smiled at Lynzie, their heads still resting on their pillows. Lynzie smiled right back.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

Lynzie’s eyes flickered toward Melanie’s hair for a moment and Melanie rolled her eyes upward toward her hair to see what Lynzie was looking at. She caught a glimpse of the sunlight that made her hair glow and felt her smile grow as she looked back at Lynzie. She put one arm around Lynzie and Lynzie reciprocated. They kissed lovingly for a few delectable moments.

“Sleep well?”

Melanie nodded.

“Did you?”

“Yeah, I did. I slept better than I’ve ever slept before.”

“Me too.”

They kissed again, so at peace in their little slice of heaven that neither one wanted it to end.

Alas, they were brought back to reality by the sound of Melanie’s cell phone ringing. Melanie lifted her head off the pillow and looked toward her cell phone. It had the capability of ringing differently depending on who was calling and Melanie knew exactly who dared interrupt her utopian morning.

“Ugh, not now. Cell phones are from hell.”

Lynzie softly giggled.

“It’s my mother calling. Leave it Mom to interrupt a perfect morning. Damn her!”

They chuckled.

“Oh well. It won’t take long.”

Melanie had to smile at Lynzie’s patience. She crawled out of bed, grabbed her cell phone and folded it open.

“Hi Mom!”

Melanie held the phone far enough away from her face to stick her tongue out at it. Melanie grinned impishly at Lynzie — as she missed the first few words her mother spoke. Lynzie giggled girlishly from the bed, admiring the love of her life from the warm embrace of the comforter and watching her talk on her cell phone.

“I’m sorry, Mom. The connection crackled a bit there. Could you say that again, please?”

The sunshine in Melanie’s smile faded. Lynzie hated to see that!

“Yeah. Sure.”

Melanie glanced at Lynzie for a moment.

“No, just Lynzie.”

Melanie smiled at Lynzie, who happily smiled back.

“Oh, that’s right! You haven’t met. She’s a new friend of mine from school.”

Another pause.

“Well, you’ll meet her soon. Okay. I love you, too.”

Melanie mouthed the word ‘bitch’ and again smiled wickedly at Lynzie.

“Bye, Mom!”

Melanie folded her phone shut, put it on her desk, and got back into bed with her love, where they offered each other a tender kiss wrapped in a warm embrace.

“So, yeah. That was Mom.”

“So I gathered.”

“She’ll be here in fifteen minutes.”

“Are you serious? Awww!”

Melanie rolled her eyes and sighed.

“She wants to meet you when she gets here. She also wants to talk with me about something.”

“Any idea what?”

“No, not really. She asked if everyone was still here and I admitted it was just us two girls.”

“That’s a little weird.”

Lynzie’s intuition was trying to tell her something — but didn’t know what just yet.

“Yup. Well, we should get up, damn her!”

Lynzie giggled at Melanie.

“Wouldn’t you know it? Just when I was getting closer to heaven than I ever dreamed possible.”

Melanie smiled at Lynzie.

“Awww! I know just what you mean.”

They kissed each other deeply and Lynzie’s smile faltered as the message from her intuition became clear.

“I guess there wasn’t a message from Sydney or Trish, huh — not that Trish is likely to be the one calling or anything.”

“Yeah, she’s a lot more likely to be calling for mercy right about now.”

They giggled together, but Melanie understood Lynzie’s point loud and clear. Their concern was building rapidly.

“Do you think they called your phone?”

“Maybe. Let me check.”

Lynzie reluctantly got out of bed to check her phone for messages — only to find that there were none. She put down her phone and got back in bed with Melanie.

“Nope. No messages. How about your landline?”

“Hmmm. Let’s go check.”

They got out of bed, hugged each other and kissed passionately, filled with the feeling that they would never tire of that.

“Come on.”

Melanie smiled at Lynzie, took her by the hand and led her downstairs to the kitchen, where the answering machine was located. There were no messages on the machine.

“Oh shit. Nothing. God, Mel, I hope they’re okay.”

“So do I.”

They hugged each other for comfort.

“Well, you know, when Syd stopped by to grab her stuff last night, she figured out that we were in the middle of something and maybe she decided not to bother us.”

“Then it didn’t work. I’m bothered that we haven’t heard anything!”

“So am I. Nah, she would have called to let us know they made it. We’ve always done that with each other.”

Melanie sighed pensively, nodding in agreement.

“Well, let’s make some coffee and try to call them.”

“Good idea.”

Melanie got out the drip coffee maker, put a paper cone in the plastic funnel, filled it with coffee grounds and poured in hot water. A few minutes later, they had fresh coffee. They picked up their mugs and started to head back upstairs when they heard keys turning in the front door as they passed it.

“Oh, that’s Mom. Syd and Trish don’t have keys, of course.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

Melanie’s mother eased the door open and stepped inside, holding a bag of groceries. She smiled as she closed the door behind her.

“Well, good morning, you two! Hi there. I’m the Mom. You must be Lynzie.”

Lynzie’s mother seemed pleasant enough, but something was definitely on her mind. Lynzie smiled girlishly.

“Yes, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too. Welcome to our home.”

“Thank you.”

Lynzie smiled again.

“Can I entice you two to join me for coffee in the kitchen for a few minutes?”

“Sure, Mom.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

They headed for the kitchen and Lynzie sat at the breakfast table with Melanie while her mother put away the groceries. When she was done, she walked over to the answering machine.

“Melanie, sweetheart, I wanted to ask you about this…”

She poked a button on the machine with her finger and it began playing a message.

Beeeeeeeeep. Hey, you two! It’s me, Syd.

Lynzie and Melanie sighed with relief.

It’s like four fifteen and we’re back and we’re just fine — well, okay, I’m fine. As for Trish, let’s just say that you were right about getting her back before she puked. She barely made it. Yup, she’s worshipping the “porcelain gods” right about now, begging ‘em for mercy.

Melanie and Lynzie giggled. They heard Sydney yawn in the message.

God, I can’t believe I’m still awake. I’ve got to go to bed. I guess you two are probably already in bed after you hooked up last night — and judging from the way you shut the door in my face, it must have been one hot night, too!

Lynzie had just taken a sip of coffee and harshly swallowed it all at once. Melanie was in mid-sip and she coughed as she swallowed.

I bet you were real glad to have the house to yourselves, eh, lovers? All right. Good night, er I mean, good morning. Bye!

For several moments, nobody spoke. Melanie realized that her mother must have been home earlier and listened to the message before she and Lynzie were even awake.

“When exactly did you get home, Mom?”

“Two hours ago. Then I went out to get a few groceries.”

“Oh.”

Melanie’s mother smiled at Melanie and Lynzie as they glanced at each other.

“So. I suppose you two aren’t surprised that I have a few questions for you.”

Lynzie took Melanie’s hand under the table. Melanie laughed nervously.

“No, I guess not.”

“I thought not. All right. First, exactly how many of you were drinking last night?”

“All of us.”

“All right. Where were you drinking?”

“Ruby’s apartment.”

“Sydney and Trish obviously drove back to campus last night. Why didn’t they stay here?”

“Mom, we tried to--”

“That’s my fault,” Lynzie calmly admitted. “I drank more than I should have and told Sydney that — well, I thought I had feelings for her. I was playing some of my original songs last night on Ruby’s keyboard and they were romantic songs. I kept looking at Sydney and she figured out that I had feelings for her — only, I didn’t have feelings for her after all. I loved the idea of being with someone and not Sydney herself. It was someone else I was supposed to be with, as I found out after we got back here.”

She looked at Melanie and smiled. Melanie couldn’t help smiling.

“Anyway, that made Sydney uncomfortable around me and so she told us that she and Trish were driving back instead of coming back here. A little while later, they stopped by to pick up their stuff that they had left here.”

“So, Mel, why did you shut the door in Sydney’s face? That wasn’t very nice!”

Melanie couldn’t help giggling and she got Lynzie started, too. The memory was just too funny.

“I know, Mom. Lynzie and I hooked up last night, like she said. We wanted to have the house to ourselves.”

Melanie smiled at Lynzie, who was powerless to resist reciprocating. Lynzie decided to defend Melanie.

“Yes, but as soon as Melanie closed the door we decided it would be better for them to stay and Melanie turned right around to open the front door and get Sydney and Trish, but they left before Melanie could even open the door.”

“All right.”

Melanie’s mother paused for a moment.

“So tell me about your hot night.”

She grinned broadly, and got Melanie and Lynzie giggling again. Melanie shrugged innocently.

“Oh, there’s not much to tell. We hung out at Ruby’s for a while, came home, watched a movie, had some ice cream, Lynzie played me a few songs on the piano, Sydney and Trish came for their stuff, we got it for them and kicked them out, tried to get them back but heard them drive away, and went upstairs to bed.”

Melanie’s mother was not about to fall for that.

“Uh huh. Whose bed?”

Melanie hesitated for a moment, looking down at her mug of coffee. Lynzie felt Melanie’s hand gripping hers.

“We both slept in my bed.”

“And we both had the best night of sleep in our lives.”

“No hanky panky?”

Melanie rolled her eyes.

“Oh, honest to God, Mom! No!”

“Do you expect me to believe that you were in bed together and didn’t touch each other?”

“Well, sure we kissed and cuddled but that was it. We’re both new to this and didn’t want to rush it. Are there any other sordid details that you want to hear about?”

“No, that’s quite enough — but I do have one other question.”

Melanie and Lynzie couldn’t help feeling nervous.

“Whose black suitcase is that on your bedroom floor with the boys’ briefs peeking out of it?”

Lynzie’s face went white.

“I thought so. You two are busted.”

Lynzie began defending Melanie.

“It’s not what you think. At all--”

“Lynzie you don’t have to--”

“I’m transgendered. I am a girl!”

Melanie’s mother’s eyebrows jumped up as she looked at Lynzie with surprise all over her face, unsure whether she should believe Lynzie.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

Lynzie rested her arms on the table so that Melanie’s mother could see how hairless they were — not to mention the nail polish that Lynzie was still wearing. Melanie’s mother thought for a moment. Melanie figured out a way to make Lynzie’s case more convincing.

“Lynzie and I were going to go have her ears pierced today.”

Melanie looked at Lynzie.

“I was going to treat you before we headed on back.”

“Aww! Thank you, Melanie! I would love that!”

Lynzie threw her arms around Melanie and Melanie responded in kind.

“I knew you would.”

Melanie playfully squeezed Lynzie. Lynzie thought for a moment as she smiled lovingly at Melanie.

“Melanie, if it’s okay, um… I’d rather do this dressed as a girl.”

“Of course you would. That was already a foregone conclusion.”

Melanie’s mother leaned back in her seat as she and Melanie looked at Lynzie. Lynzie’s face was completely serious when she made that little request.

“You really are transgendered, aren’t you?”

Lynzie nodded emphatically.

“Yes, I am. Melanie has been helping me to be my true self this weekend. It’s the first time I’ve been my true self in five years and by helping me do this, Melanie has given me something priceless that I’ll never be able to repay.”

Lynzie looked at Melanie lovingly and kissed her lips right in front of her mother.

“I really would rather remain a girl as long as I possibly can before I have to go back and be a guy again.”

Lynzie looked down at the table, facing the thought for the first time that weekend, and realizing how much she hated the idea. A tear leaked from Lynzie’s eye. Melanie gently wiped it away and drew Lynzie into her arms. Lynzie gratefully embraced her.

“Lynz, let’s have dinner off campus a couple of nights a week — or we could have take out in my room. I’ll dress you up and you can be yourself.”

Lynzie squeezed Melanie very snugly and kissed her.

“I would love that, too.”

“Well, I have to admit, you two, when I heard Sydney’s message, I expected sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll--”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, Mom!”

“–but all I’m seeing is a little booze and a whole lot of love.”

Lynzie and Melanie smiled at her.

“Normally, I would give you my speech about the rules in this house, but… since Lynzie is not a boy… I guess, technically, you’ve not violated them. I’ll have to get back to you on that one.”

Melanie nodded.

“Fair enough.”

“All right. Well, you two should start getting dressed so that Lynzie can get her ears pierced.”

Melanie’s mother rose and paused for a moment.

“Mel, hon, don’t you have a long weekend this weekend?”

Melanie’s eyes got wide as she looked at Lynzie and watched her eyebrows stretched up as far as they would go. Lynzie’s face had desire all over it. A smile commandeered her face.

“Oh, my God, Mel! We do have a long weekend!”

“Yes!”

“Then you two are in luck. I have the morning off from the conference, but I have to be back by one o’clock. I was just stopping by to say hello to Melanie — and to meet you, too, Lynzie.”

Melanie and Lynzie looked at each other absolutely thrilled that they would be spending another twenty-four hours alone.

“Now, I’m not going to forbid you two from sharing a bed under this roof, since you are a girl, Lynzie, but I still expect you to be responsible and uh… safe if… you know, if you should decide to take things further as far as physical intimacy is concerned.”

Melanie rolled her eyes again.

“Pffff! Mothers!”

Lynzie giggled at Melanie.

“Ms. McPherson, you have my word — as a lady -- that I will be safe and responsible with Melanie.”

Melanie giggled at Lynzie and hugged her. Melanie’s mother smiled warmly at the both of them.

“All right. I think we can declare our talk concluded. Why don’t you two get some breakfast and head off to put some pretty earrings in Lynzie’s ears?”

“Sounds like a plan!”

Melanie lovingly squeezed Lynzie’s shoulder as they shared a smile. They made scrambled eggs, wolfed them down, cleaned up the kitchen after themselves and headed back to Melanie’s room to change.

Melanie closed her door behind her and picked up her cell phone, smiling at Lynzie.

“I think we should have a word with Sydney, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do!”

Melanie had a particular word in mind as she dialed the number and put her phone on speaker so that Lynzie could listen in.

“Hello?”

“Idiot!”

“Oh, hi, Melanie. I love you, too, sweetheart!”

Sydney giggled.

“My mother heard your message! What were you thinking?”

Sydney gasped as if she’d just found a corpse in her bed.

“Oh shit! I am so sorry! Are you, like, totally screwed?”

“Actually, no, believe it or not. I am amazed how my mother reacted. She knows that Lynzie’s transgendered because Lynzie told her in a valiant — and successful — effort to keep me out of trouble.”

Melanie affectionately touched Lynzie’s chin.

“Wow. How’d she take that?”

“A lot better than I thought she would! She’s cool with it — oh, and by the way, I found a definite loophole in my mother’s no-sharing-a-bed-under-this-roof rule. It only pertains to boys and, of course, Lynzie’s a girl. Sucks for Mom!”

Melanie grinned wickedly at Lynzie as the three of them giggled.

“Excellent! Damn, Melanie, you’re making out like a bandit — pun most definitely intended!”

They laughed again.

“You might say that, yes — and the best part is that we have a long weekend this weekend!”

“Um, duh! Where have you been?”

“In love with my head in the clouds, of course!”

“Same here!”

“Hey, Lynz. Am I on speaker?”

“Duh!”

Another round of laughter filled Melanie’s room.

“How’s Trish? Did she have a good stint in the ‘porcelain temple’? It sounds like her sins came back up to haunt her?”

Melanie and Lynzie laughed crazily — and Sydney joined them.

“Oh, yeah! She definitely gave at the ‘porcelain temple’!”

More laughter.

“All right. We need to get dressed so that we can get Lynzie’s ears pierced.”

“No shit! How did that come about?”

“It was my own valiant — and successful — effort to convince my mother that Lynzie is transgendered. For a moment or two, she thought we were pretending about that just to get out of trouble.”

“Well, damn, I guess your weekend’s complete then!”

“Yeah. It couldn’t get much better, eh Mel?”

Lynzie smiled at Melanie.

“It would be damned hard.”

Melanie smiled back.

“Awww, how sweet. You two really are in love, aren’t you?”

Melanie and Lynzie were still looking at each other.

“Definitely.”

“Oh hell yes!”

They kissed noisily enough for Sydney to hear it.

“Okaaaaaaaay, well, you two go right ahead and enjoy that and I’ll just--”

Click. She hung up.

Melanie and Lynzie laughed, but held the kiss anyway.

“Okay, sweetie. Let’s get you dressed.”

“Yes!”

Lynzie stood before Melanie’s mirror, picturing what her earrings would look like.

“Hey Melanie, I’m not going to bleed on your clothes, am I?”

“Nah. They make sure you don’t.”

Lynzie looked back at the mirror, happily enjoying her daydreaming.

A couple of hours later, she gazed into the same mirror with a great big smile on her face, admiring the shiny new silver hoops in her ears. Her eyes went back and forth between her earrings and her outfit. She wore a knee-length denim skirt, opaque burgundy tights, burgundy turtleneck, burgundy and dark teal sweater, and black leather Mary Janes. The front half of her hair was pulled back and held in place with a shiny silver clip high up on the back of her head. She looked beautiful.

“I love everything, Melanie! I love my new earrings, I love this outfit, I love my hair, I love it all! I owe all of this to you!”

Melanie came up behind Lynzie, hugged her, and smiled at Lynzie’s reflection.

“I’m so glad you’re feeling so good.”

Lynzie gently leaned her head against Melanie’s. Then she turned around and kissed Melanie.

“Thank you so much!”

Lynzie embraced Melanie warmly.

“You’re welcome. Well, I don’t know about you, but I would love to go for a walk. It’s a beautiful day!”

“It is a beautiful day. Let’s walk!”

Melanie grabbed her purse again and they headed outside. Melanie locked the door behind her and led the way. Holding hands, they walked past beautiful houses and headed for a small park not far from Melanie’s house.

“Hey, Lynz, do you remember that confusion of mine I was telling you about?”

“Yes, of course I do. Is it bothering you?”

Lynz looked at Melanie with concern, gently squeezing her hand. Melanie smiled at her.

“No, it’s just the opposite. I figured it out!”

Lynzie smiled brightly at Melanie.

“That’s wonderful! What did you figure out — if you don’t mind my asking.”

“Mind? You’re my girlfriend. I’d be very worried if you didn’t ask!”

“Good point!”

Melanie and Lynzie shared another smile. Lynzie had finally found a girlfriend! Lynzie and Melanie were in heaven with each other.

“I’m a lesbian, Lynz, and since you’re a girl, it works out just great!”

“I’m so glad to hear that!”

Lynzie let go of Melanie’s hand and wrapped one arm around her. Melanie put hers around Lynzie as well.

“Me too! It looks like we’ve managed to straighten each other out this weekend, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s been great!”

Melanie led Lynzie into a park that had many natural perennial flowers in bloom surrounding a rectangular lawn. There were four picnic tables on the lawn and Melanie led Lynzie to one of them. The park afforded beautiful views of the surrounding hills.

“Well, here we are!”

“This place is beautiful!”

“Yeah, it is. This is where I come when I need some alone time or when I need to clear my head and do some thinking.”

“Well, it sure is a great spot for that!”

“Yeah.”

Melanie and Lynzie sat at the picnic table for a while, holding each others’ hands across the table and smiling.

End of Part 2

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Lasting Love

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

Mature Subjects (pg15)

Publication:

Verse, Poetry, Lyric

Genre:

Romance

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Lasting Love
by MonaLisa

A strong desire to find the one
To set the moon and raise the sun
A wish to all the powers above
A dream of finding lasting love

A heart so full of deep chagrin
A melancholy tale to spin
A wish to all the powers above
A dream of finding lasting love

A latent hope so very deep
A drowsy prayer and restless sleep
A wish to all the powers above
A dream of finding lasting love

[ Other Works By Mona Lisa ]

Lend Me Your Ears

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Lesbians

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Imagine that you are enjoying a warm summer afternoon on your back porch. Your mother is at work and your father is out of the picture. Your best friend, Aimee, has left town on a plane to visit relatives and your mutual best friend, Kim, has gone to an isolated, disconnected cabin with her family and wont be back for three weeks. Aimee calls while waiting at Baggage Claim and clearly has something on her mind that's bothering her. You offer to talk to her, but she tells you that it's girl talk and she wishes that she could talk to Kim. What do you do?

LEND ME YOUR EARS

FRIDAY

It was a lot to ask of Anna. Andrew knew it as soon as the idea crossed his mind. He reclined on his screened-in back porch, listening to his favorite music on his iPhone that lazy, summer afternoon. The beat seduced him, making him subtly bop his head as it drowned out his troubles. Sipping his lemonade, he watched the butterflies flirt with the rosebushes at the edge of the backyard lawn. His white Adirondack chair, with its vertically striped cushions, was almost comfortable enough to make him sleepy - until his favorite song was interrupted by a phone call. Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” was interrupted by Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” as his iPhone announced that his best friend, Aimee, was calling. Smiling, he hit the green Accept button.

“Aimee! Are you there yet?”

“Well, we made it to the baggage claim, but it’s taking forever, so of course I stepped away to call you.” she chuckled half-heartedly. “How are you doing today?”

“I’m good - I’m just chilling on the back porch,” he shrugged.

“Good. Is everything… okay?” she queried, sounding a bit nervous.

“Yeah, everything’s fine, really.” He assured.

Aimee sighed, continuing, “Good, I’m glad.”

“Hey, you sound kind of upset. Do you want to talk about it?” he sat alert with a serious expression.

“Yeah, I do, but… i-it’s girl talk,” she mumbled. “I really wish I could talk to Kim, but they’ve gone to that damned cabin in the middle of nowhere. I can’t believe it doesn’t even have a landline!”

“Yeah, some people like it rough, I guess. I miss Kim, too,” Andrew sagged, reminded of his other best friend.

“And she won’t be back for three weeks!” Aimee complained.

“Well, you’re visiting relatives down there, right? Any female aunts or cousins you could talk to?” Andrew offered.

“My cousins are both girls, but they’re eight and ten and I’m fifteen. I can’t exactly bring this to them. If anything, they should bring their problems to me,” she tittered. “My aunt is great and I can usually talk to her - and my mom, but… not about this. I-it’s about someone else and… I’m not sure that person would feel comfortable with me bringing it up, even to him.”

“Huh. That’s a hard spot to be in.” Andrew sighed, wondering who Aimee was talking about. “I wish I were a girl so you’d have someone to talk to,” he lamented - and that was when he got the idea, making him stare across the backyard at nothing as it hit him: Hey, she could talk to Anna. I-it would have to be over the phone, but it could still help! It would be good for Anna, too - she needs friends, even if she’s not up to seeing anyone.

“Oh, Andrew, you kill me,” Aimee flirted as she giggled, bringing Andrew back to the conversation.

“Who me?” he chuckled. “Seriously, though. I do know a girl you could talk to,” he murmured. The budding idea in his mind made him feel elated to be able to help Aimee and Anna at the same time, yet petrified of the potential pitfalls.

“Really?” Aimee sounded perked up on the surface, yet she betrayed discomfort by pausing and asking timidly, “Who is she?”

Huh? She sounds kind of jealous. He sat up, wondering at her behavior before deflating back in his chair. Nah! I’m sure she’s just nervous about one of her two best friends getting busy with a relationship, that’s all. Well, I’d better answer her.

“Uh, her name is Anna,” he began. The silence on the line indicated that Aimee was listening intently, wanting to know more. So he indulged her. “She studies piano with the same teacher as I do, and, uh… I-I met her about a year ago at one of the recitals, where all of the students perform for their friends and family.” Andrew explained.

“Why don’t you ever invite your friends to these recitals? I’d love to hear you play,” Aimee probed.

“Alright, I’ll invite you to the next one. I think it’s next month,” he smiled.

“I’ll be glad to come,” she responded eagerly. Pausing as though containing herself, she continued. “So, uh… do you know when Anna is available, by any chance?”

“Um, let me ask,” he shrugged.

“Okay! Thanks!”

Andrew stared at his phone for a few seconds, before returning it to his ear. “Well, she’s busy today, but she could call you later tonight. Is nine o’clock too late?”

“Actually, nine is good, because I would prefer some privacy from my mother and she doesn’t usually bother me that late,” Aimee enthused.

“Alright, then. I’ll pass along your number and tell her you’re expecting her call.”

“Thanks, Andrew! You’re swell!” she flirted.

“Aww, you’re welcome.” Andrew smiled.

“I’m glad she’s available so soon!” Aimee sighed.

“Yeah, me, too. I can tell that you need to talk to someone,” he responded. Well, if Anna is the one to talk to Aimee about her troubles, maybe I can at least make her laugh and cheer her up. “Hey, have you seen the picture going around the Internet of Patrick Stewart in drag?” He chuckled, winning a giggle from Aimee.

“No! Are you making that up?” she gushed.

“No, I saw it on Facebook just today!” Then, imitating one of the actor’s most famous roles from a Star Trek series, he joked, with a British accent, “You have the bridge, Number One. I shall be in holodeck four with Madonna.”

They shared a laugh at the humor and Andrew sensed that Aimee was cheered. He also felt what he could swear was chemistry. And I have no idea what to do, he bemoaned. “Okay, Aimee, I should get some chores done before my mother comes home.”

“Okay, Andrew. Thanks for everything. You’re really… a true friend.”

Yup, that’s me, a proud resident of the State of Friend Zone. Gawd!

“Let me know how it goes with Anna!” he suggested.

“I will.”

Katy Perry returned to Andrew’s ears as he hung up his iPhone, settling back in his groaning Adirondack chair. The clock on his iPhone’s screen indicated that he should change his clothes before his mother returned from work. Tucking a shoulder-length lock of straight, golden-brown hair behind his ear, he sipped his lemonade and smiled at the lip gloss on the straw. Looking down at his lavender camisole, silver rose pendant, denim skirt, and black, canvas Mary Janes, his smile fading, he warned himself: Anna, I hope you know what you’re doing.

Peering out of his bedroom, Andrew had a good view down the darkened, cream-colored hall. Light leaked around his mother’s closed bedroom door, but a moment later, it winked out. The hallway was lit only by the moon shining through the skylight above. Andrew withdrew into his bedroom and closed the door, confident that his mother was asleep. Turning around, he perused his room with its cerulean blue paint, matching quilt, clear-varnished oak furniture, cream carpet, and posters of foreign cities. It was a boy’s room, but its masculinity was, at least, tempered - and it was a safe place for Anna to show her face.

Smiling, Andrew went to his desk, opened the bottom drawer, and pulled out the outfit he’d been wearing on the back porch. After a quick change, Anna was back. Fighting off a fresh wave of frustration that she had to live in a closet, she folded Andrew’s clothes, dropped them on her desk chair and walked over to the bed, where she glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. It was 9:03 pm. Next to the clock was Andrew’s iPhone, but she hesitated to pick it up. If I use that phone, Aimee will know it’s me. I can’t face coming out to her. Ignoring the iPhone, she slid open the drawer in her nightstand and pulled out her Motorola, a cheap prepaid phone that Andrew had bought her a year earlier when she started ordering clothes and other female products from online merchants demanding a phone number.

Sighing, she stared at the Motorola’s colorful screen, as she dialed Aimee’s number. Then, laying down on the bed, tending to her skirt and her loose hair, she held the phone to her ear and waited for Aimee to pick up. All at once, she realized that Aimee would recognize Andrew’s voice! Shit! I wonder if Anna’s voice is convincing enough yet? Oh God, I’m going to have to find out! She had been practicing a higher, softer voice ever since she got the Motorola, in case she needed to speak to a merchant over the phone - but she had yet to test it. I hope this works!

“Hello?” Aimee answered.

“Hi, is this Aimee?” Anna inquired in her feminine voice.

“Yes. Is that you, Anna?” Aimee sounded nervous.

“Yeah, it’s me,” she smiled. “How are you doing? Are you okay?”

“I’m alright. I’ve just got something on my mind and my best girl friend is away at her family’s cabin in the middle of nowhere with no landline, no Internet and zero cell phone reception. My other best friend is Andrew and he’s really great, and I trust him with my life, but… in this case, I would rather discuss my feelings with another girl, you know?”

“Yeah, of course. So tell me all about it.” Anna invited, running a hand through her hair.

“Well, I really want to, but… I need to think about what to reveal and what not to.” Aimee hedged. “When I’m talking to a long-time friend, I know their boundaries and sensibilities, and I know what I can talk about, right? But I’ve only just met you, so… I really should be more careful, you know?”

“Okay. Fair enough,” Anna assured. “Do you want to just chat for a while, then?”

“Yeah, do you mind?” Aimee sounded grateful.

“Not at all,” Anna smiled.

They spent several minutes bonding over favorite movies, before the talk turned to silver screen stars. From there, it drifted to music celebrities, favorite songs, music in general, and Anna’s piano lessons. Anna was talking about how much she liked the teacher, careful not to sound like Andrew, when Aimee blurted, “So how long have you known Andrew?”

“About a year,” Anna explained.

With unconvincing nonchalance Aimee inquired, “That’s cool. Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No, I’m currently single. You?” Anna puzzled over the direction the conversation was taking.

“I’m single, too,” she murmured, sounding tense. “Do you… you know, do you… l-like Andrew… that way?”

“No, I like girls.” Anna assured, her face pensive. Aimee? What’s going on?

“Oh, okay.” Aimee seemed to relax at that - just before her younger cousins interrupted the conversation. “Damn. Hey, Anna, I have to go. But thank you so much for calling. Can I call you tomorrow? Same time?”

“Of course you can,” Anna smiled. “Is my number showing on your screen?”

“Yeah, it’s in my Recent Calls list.”

“Okay then. Talk to you tomorrow. Night night!”

“Goodnight!”

With that, they hung up, leaving Anna’s mind swimming in questions and hoping that talking to Aimee had been the right thing to do. For several seconds, she stared at her phone, wondering what was going on, before she returned it to the night stand, lay back on her bed, and gazed at the ceiling.

Anna was lost in thought when Andrew’s iPhone rang, playing Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” This ought to be interesting. Snatching up Andrew’s phone, she answered with a smile - and Andrew’s voice.

“Hey, Aimee! Did you talk to her?”

“Yeah, I did. It was a big help.”

Thank God - I wasn’t too sure a few minutes ago.

“Were you able to talk it out?”

“Well, I wanted to, but I really should think about what to share and what not to. It’s about a friend and… I don’t know,” Aimee tittered. “I’m just worried about him and I want to help him, but… I-I can’t say any more because I don’t even know if he wants me to know,” she fretted.

“Well, it’s probably safe to talk about it as long as nobody knows that it’s him you’re talking about,” Andrew assured.

Sighing, Aimee murmured, “You might be right. I’ll have to think about it.”

“Okay. Well, I’m glad Anna’s helping you out,” Andrew smiled.

“Me, too. Thanks again for hooking us up.”

“You’re very welcome. Good night.”

“Sweet dreams.”

Rolling on her side, Anna put Andrew’s iPhone back on the nightstand and stared at it, tucking her hands beneath her face. So far so good.

SATURDAY

Andrew’s body was tensioned like a guy wire with the desire to release Anna and talk to Aimee. He lay on his bed, glancing at his clock, waiting for his mother to go to bed. She was home all day on the weekends, which was nice in many ways, but it meant that Anna had to stay hidden. Andrew spent his weekends trying to smile and convince his mother that he was okay. When she went to sleep, the night belonged to Anna.

Hoisting himself up from his bed, he tiptoed to his door to see if his mother was still awake. When he stuck his head out of his bedroom, he found that the rest of the house was dark. Closing his bedroom door, he rushed to the bed, raised the cerulean bed skirt and slid a black, plastic storage container out from under his bed. Removing the lid, he pulled out a fresh pair of white, nylon panties, a matching bra, and a pair of A-cup foam breast forms. He exchanged his clothes for the lingerie, slipped the breast forms into the bra, snapped the lid back onto the storage container and shoved it back under the bed.

Next, he dropped his boy clothes on his desk chair and headed for the open closet, where he shoved his male wardrobe out of the way to access Anna’s garment bag. With a sigh, he zipped it open and looked at its scanty contents. Pushing out of his mind the daydreams of the beautiful clothes that he wished could fill his closet, he picked out a pair of girls’ jeans and a pale coral t-shirt. As soon as he had them out of the garment bag, he put them right on, following them with the Mary Janes. Knowing that it was almost time to talk to Aimee, and it was night time anyway, Anna skipped her makeup, but she did retrieve her silver necklace from her desk, wishing she had more jewelry.

At the stroke of nine, Anna’s phone rang, and the display showed that Aimee was calling. Flopping down on the bed, Anna answered with a smile.

“Hi, Aimee. How are you?”

“I’m alright,” she assessed, before bantering about her cousins and their antics until her chatter stalled. Anna had a feeling that she was still deliberating about what to say and how much.

“How’s your friend doing?” Anna ventured, her brow furrowing as she pulled her hair from beneath her shoulders with one hand.

“He seems okay, but… shit. I would really like to talk about what’s on my mind. It’s just… it’s something pretty big about him, and… I’m just not sure it’s my place to bring it up,” Aimee sighed.

“That sounds like some serious business you’re thinking of,” Anna sympathized, resting her knuckle against her lips.

“Yeah… I might be able to discuss it to an extent… i-if I don’t mention a name, of course,” Aimee hazarded.

“That sounds pretty safe when you’re ready,” Anna encouraged, raising her brows and nodding.

“Well, let me think about it one more night,” Aimee decided.

“Okay. Take your time. There’s no rush,” Anna assured her, rolling on her side.

“Thanks.” Aimee took a breath before blurting, “Have you ever been in love with someone who hasn’t figured out who they are yet?”

Anna propped her head up on one hand, her elbow on the bed. Well now. Is she in love? I wonder who she’s talking about. She has a lot of friends at school. She frowned as her heart rate accelerated. I really hope she’s not in love with someone else. Oh, geez! I’d better answer her! She rolled her eyes, gently shaking her head.

“As a matter of fact, I am in love with one of my friends, and I don’t know who she wants… though she seems to like boys, damn it.” Anna sighed. “Sometimes, I could swear I’m getting a vibe that she likes me, but then she’ll look away and stare at some guy.”

Aimee uttered a soft groan. “I catch myself doing that around my friend - only, I don’t ever want the boys I’m looking at. It’s just… I’m kind of afraid of looking my friend in the eye too long and hard, you know? I really don’t want to make things awkward.”

“Well, depending on what your friend is like, you could easily be right to do that. Everyone’s different.” Anna shrugged, returning her head to her pillow.

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Anna! You’re a help. I’m glad I can talk to you,” Aimee smiled through the phone.

“Well, it’s my pleasure!” Anna grinned.

“Alright, well, my mother is trying to get my attention, so let me think about things for one more night and I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Sure!”

“Same time?”

“Same time!”

Replacing her cell phone in her nightstand, Anna lay back and stared at the ceiling, listening to the thoughts playing in her mind. What’s going on with Aimee’s friend? Why is she so worried about him? From there, Anna’s curiosity turned to doubt. I wonder if I should be talking to Aimee like this. She has been talking to a girl, as advertised, but… if she’s about to share something very private about a friend… am I taking this too far? I don’t think she would put a name to her friend… but even then… how would Aimee feel if she found out that Andrew is Anna? Would she think I tricked her? Jesus, I hope not! Sighing, Anna decided that if things started to go too far, she would have to come clean to Aimee. If it came to that, Anna would simply have to invent a family emergency to keep her unavailable until Monday, when Aimee would be home and she could come clean to her face-to-face. Satisfied with her backup plan, she stood and prepared for bed.

SUNDAY

Freshly released from the closet, Anna lounged on her bed in a pale teal t-shirt, jeans, and her silver flower pendant. She was adrift on a sea of thoughts about the previous night’s conversation, wondering if there was something that Aimee hadn’t told her. As if to answer that question, her Motorola phone rang, telling her that Aimee was calling. Anna picked up and greeted her, hoping she was feeling better.

“Have you ever had a gay friend?” Aimee fired.

Anna sat up on her bed, wondering if that was what was going on with Aimee’s mystery boy. “At this point, a lot of people have. Is your friend gay, the one you’re worried about?”

“I think he is, but doesn’t know it yet… and I think he’s dealing with it alone,” she fretted.

“Really?! What indications have you noticed that he might be gay?” Anna wondered aloud.

“Well, he has feminine mannerisms… and he doesn’t look around at other girls… and some of his jokes make me wonder,” Aimee listed.

Jokes? Anna’s free hand covered the mouthpiece of her phone. Didn’t I crack a joke about Patrick Stewart in drag the other night? Wait a minute! I’m being stupid! That was just a picture going around the Internet. I’m sure her friend probably jokes about… Ted Cruz kissing Donald Trump or something! Yeah, that makes a lot more sense!

“Does he look at other boys?” Anna inquired, her face pensive.

“Well, no,” Aimee admitted.

So who does he look at, then?? Anna held out her free hand, palm up. Oh, shit. Anna’s posture deflated. He looks at Aimee, doesn’t he?

“I’ve considered asking him if he’s gay,” Aimee continued, “but I can see how that might not be a good idea.”

“Yeah, that might not be wise,” Anna agreed, her eyes wide. “If he is gay and you ask about it, then he might worry that, if one person has figured it out, others will, too. He might be left feeling that he has no control over how it comes out or who knows, and that could be really stressful. Do you know what I mean? Just… let him tell you on his own time.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Aimee concurred.

“Just let him know that he can tell you anything, and you mean anything, and you’ll be his friend no matter what. Just put that out there so he knows he can talk to you when he’s ready,” Anna suggested, “and if he still doesn’t come out, you shouldn’t take it as a sign that-”

“Would it be totally pathetic for me to be in love with him?” she tittered.

“Are you in love with him?” Anna inquired softly, staring into space, biting her lip, her free hand fingering her earlobe.

“Hopelessly,” she quavered, sounding teary.

Anna’s own emotions swelled as she realized that Aimee was in love with someone else - someone who, apparently, only cared for her. Well, he probably likes her the way she’s hoping. I have to tell her. If I don’t, I’m a selfish asshole! Hesitant as she was, she opened her mouth to speak - but another thought silenced her: Wait a second! What if he’s asexual and he doesn’t look at anyone? I mean, Aimee would know if he had eyes for her, wouldn’t she? Guys do tend to be fairly obvious when they like a girl. Yes, of course, he must be asexual! Well, say something, anything; she needs support. Forcing herself to speak, Anna replied, “Well, you’re not pathetic for feeling that way about him. It just means that you prefer a gentle boyfriend, that’s all,” she shrugged. “Anyway, if you’re right about him, then he’ll come out to you sooner or later; he just needs to find the strength.” Anna pointed out. Well, that's great, but she needs to know - and I have no idea what to tell her.

“I know.” Aimee murmured sadly.

“Awww, Aimee,” Anna paused to select her next words with caution, “we don’t know anything with certainty yet, and there’s more than one possibility still on the table, right? Who knows?”

“Yeah, maybe. Thanks, Anna. You’re such a help,” Aimee sighed, sounding half-cheered.

“My pleasure, as always,” Anna smiled weakly, trying not to think about Aimee being in love with someone else.

“You know what? I got back in town this afternoon. Why don’t we get together tomorrow?” Aimee invited.

Anna clapped a hand over her mouth as she silently panicked. Oh no! This was only supposed to be over the phone! What do I do now?

“That sounds fun!” Anna tried to enthuse. “Where should we meet?” She swallowed, her mouth going dry. Shit!! This is never going to work!! What do I do??

“If you drink coffee, we could meet at the little coffee shop on Main Street?” Aimee suggested.

Anna’s mind threatened to implode, but she knew it would arouse suspicion if she hesitated.

“Sounds great! What time?” She accepted, biting her knuckle.

“How’s noon?” Aimee suggested.

“Noon is p-perfect!” Anna gripped a fistful of hair, her eyes bulging.

“Okay! I’ll see you then!”

“See you then!”

After they hung up, Anna fell backward against her pillow, staring at the ceiling. Oh, my god! This just went too far. We weren’t supposed to meet - and besides, it’s starting to hurt too much, knowing that Aimee’s in love with someone else - who could be in love with her - if he isn’t asexual. Her eyes began to sting. What was I thinking anyway? Oh, yeah. I was thinking that I wish I’d been born a girl in the fucking first place! Anna rolled over, put her phone down and covered her face with her hands. This isn’t right. I have to come clean. How do I do that? she wondered, clutching her hands against her chest and staring at her cell phones.

Anna pushed the heels of her palms against her eye sockets as worried thoughts spun around in her head like ice cubes in a blender. Aimee expects to see Anna in public! Anna may well have to show herself! The good news is that it’s not logistically difficult to do that. The bad news is that I still can’t face coming out to Aimee! Shit!! Anna sighed deeply as she pondered her fate, pushing her hands beneath her pillow and closing her eyes. Well, at least it no longer matters if Aimee knows I’m transgender. She loves her mystery friend… who could be in love with her… the mystery friend who she has never even introduced to Andrew or Kim… the mystery friend who she’s only comfortable discussing with another girl. Anna scowled, taking a breath to calm herself and still her thoughts - only to hear Andrew’s cell phone ringing. Cyndi Lauper indicated that it was Aimee calling. Anna snatched up the phone and answered.

“Hey, Aimee. How are you?” Anna greeted in Andrew’s voice, subtly shaking her head. This is messed up!

“I’m okay. I was just talking to Anna. She’s really helpful, and uh, she made me feel better about some things,” Aimee reflected. “Andrew, I would love for Anna to become a close friend of ours. We should introduce her to Kim so she can become a part of our little group! What do you think?”

No problem. I’ll just throw myself out of the closet and hope to hell that you don’t hate my guts! For crying out loud! How the hell did I let this blow up in my face so badly? Oh, right, I offered to let Aimee speak to Anna. Big mistake!! She covered her eyes with her hand.

“Andrew? Are you okay?” She fretted.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Anna steadied herself.

“You would tell me if anything was wrong, right?” Aimee pressed.

“Of course I would,” Anna rubbed her forehead.

“You do know that you can tell me anything, and I do mean anything, and I will be your friend no matter what. You know that, right?” she assured.

Anna froze. What did you just say?? Stunned, she sat up, her hand covering her mouth. That’s what I told her to say to her mystery friend - oh, my GOD! Her hand moved to her heart. I’m her mystery friend!! She’s been talking about ME this whole time!! But that means… Anna’s skin prickled as she smiled. She's in love with ME!! Then her smile faded as reality backhanded her. No, she’s NOT! She’s in love with ANDREW!! Augh!! Shit!! I hate my life!! Anna flopped back onto her pillow.

“Andrew? You know that, right?” Aimee begged for a response.

“Yeah, I know that,” Anna assured. Okay, I really have to come clean to her! How do I do that? Sighing, she continued, “Aimee, I don’t want to keep anything from you… but I don’t want to do this over the phone, either, so…” If we’re doing this face-to-face, then we’d better do it here. “I need you to meet me here tomorrow at noon - and I need Anna to come, too,” he thought aloud, because this is more complicated than just coming out.

“Well, of course I’ll come! Let me just text Anna the change of plans. We were planning to get together tomorrow, but I’m sure she won’t mind; this is important,” Aimee prattled. “While I’m at it, I may as well let her know you need her to come. Does she have your address? Well, I’ll just stick it in the text.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Anna rolled over to grab her Motorola and make sure it was silenced. When Aimee’s message came, giving Anna her own address, she rolled her eyes before replying that she’d be happy to stop by Andrew’s place and she would come straight there.

“Okay, it’s all set. We’ll be there.” Aimee paused. “Hey Andrew, uh… I know it’s only been three days, but… I’ve missed you, you know,” Aimee revealed.

“I’ve missed you, too,” Anna admitted, her heart swelling with a toxic mixture of love for Aimee and fear that she would sever all ties when she realized who she’d been talking to.

Aimee paused before breathing, “Good night, Andrew.”

“Good night, Aimee.”

Sighing heavily, Anna stared into the universe, hoping her life wasn’t going to fall apart.

MONDAY

Andrew dragged himself to his bedroom after his shower, closing the door, yawning from a poor night’s sleep. Ready to get dressed, he headed to his dresser, slid open his drawer to grab a pair of jockey shorts… and paused. Mom’s at work already. I really don’t need to be Andrew today - and anyway, Aimee’s meeting Anna at noon, he shuddered. It scares me even to think about that, but I would still rather be myself - and I’m not about to miss an opportunity! Screw Andrew! With that, he slammed his dresser drawer and walked over to his bed, dragging the plastic storage container out from under the bedskirt. Pulling out a fresh set of lingerie and his breast forms, he slipped them on, reached under his bed for his white, canvas Mary Janes and strapped them on his feet. He stowed the storage container under the bed and went across to his closet. Unzipping Anna’s garment bag, he selected the only remaining item of fresh clothing: a tank sundress with a form-fitting waist and a floral pattern in shades of blue and white. The sight of it brought a smile as he took it off the hanger and slipped it on, zipping the garment bag closed and returning it to its place.

Eager to complete the transformation, he crossed the room to his center desk drawer to fish out the silver necklace and put it around his neck. Then he pulled out a pair of small, white hair claws, a tube of lip gloss, another of brown mascara, and a brown eyeliner pencil. Sliding the drawer closed, he moved to the full-length mirror on the back of his door. Resting the makeup on the nearby dresser, he pulled his hair back on each side with a hair claw. Next, he applied the mascara, flinching as the wand brushed against his lashes. He stretched one lid to add the eyeliner and repeated the process with the other. Finally, he applied a coat of gloss onto his lips, welcoming Anna back into the world with a smile. Taking a deeply satisfied breath, and pushing away the familiar worried thoughts about puberty taking away what she saw in the mirror, she put her makeup back in her desk. In need of distraction from her troubles, she headed to the kitchen to have some breakfast and read the funnies.

Yet, between the laughs, her stubborn mind preoccupied itself with her predicament. She folded the newspaper and sighed. I can’t believe I’ve trapped myself into to coming out to Aimee! Shit. I don’t know if I can do this. Maybe Andrew should be the one to greet Amy when she comes. Yeah, that would be better. Glancing at the kitchen clock, she saw it was half past eleven. Clearing away her dishes, Anna hurried upstairs to change her clothes.

She was returning her hair to Andrew’s ponytail when she realized that it wouldn’t work to be Andrew when Aimee arrived. She would never believe that I’m Anna. Knowing Aimee, she would insist that, after three phone conversations, she would have recognized Andrew’s voice, even disguised. I have to show her that I’m Anna. Besides, it’s really important for Aimee to be able to believe that she has been talking to a girl this whole time!

Sighing, she transformed back into Anna. As her mind became swept up in turmoil, conflicting thoughts warred in her head:

No, Andrew is the way to go! I’ll be more relaxed!
No, definitely Anna! She has to come out!
No, Anna would be too shocking at first sight!
No, I have to be Anna! This is more complicated than just coming out!
No, wait! She loves Andrew!

But before she could change again, she froze with a sudden realization. Oh, my god, I’m still wearing makeup! What time is it? Dashing to her nightstand, she glanced at her clock and found that it was 12:01 pm. Well, that settles it! I’m out of time. Anna will have to answer the door. Checking herself in the mirror one last time, Anna took a deep breath and told herself that everything would turn out okay.

Knowing Aimee would be there any second, Anna headed down the hall, searching her mind for the best way to introduce herself to Aimee. As she reached the top of the front stairs, she got an idea. She rushed down the hardwood stairs to her front door, unlocked it, and hustled back upstairs, just out of sight from the foyer. Waiting for Aimee, she stood there, panting, becoming steadily more nervous about facing Aimee. She forced herself to take several deep breaths and focus. Seconds after she calmed herself to functional levels, the doorbell rang. I hope this works! Swallowing, she called, “C-come on in! I-It’s open!” Closing her eyes, she braced herself as Aimee let herself in.

“Hi, I’m here!” she announced, her pleasant voice belying her concern for her friend.

“Hi! We’re coming down!” Anna uttered in Andrew’s voice, before descending the stairs, more nervous than she had ever been. Keeping a neutral face, she approached Aimee where she stood on the oriental rug, staring at Anna with wide eyes and a silly smile. She wore white sneakers with white ankle socks, white shorts, and a turquoise camisole, her long, blond hair in a high pony tail.

“Hi, Aimee. I’m Anna,” she made herself smile.

“Hi! It’s so nice to see you!” Aimee threw her arms around her before pulling back, her blue eyes gazing at Anna before abruptly clearing. “Hey, where’s Andrew!” she giggled, releasing the hug. “Andrew! Come down here!” she called, cupping her hands around her mouth.

“I’m already here,” Anna rasped in Andrew’s voice, biting her lip, fearful of what might happen. Aimee whipped around to stare at Anna.
“Andrew??” Her eyes grew wide in shock as she recognized him. “What the… what the hell is going on??” she stammered, her voice faltering as she processed what she saw. “You’re Anna??” she hollered. “Why didn’t you tell me??” She demanded.

“Aimee, I want-”

“Why didn’t you tell me???” She shouted, running out the door and slamming it behind her.

“Oh no!!!” Anna’s heart palpitated, her eyes watering as she turned and ran to grab her keys.

Locking her front door behind her, Anna dropped her keys into the small purse she’d bought for the walk outside that she hadn’t found the nerve to take - until now. Desperate to find Aimee, she ran down the front path and out the front gate to the sidewalk, looking both ways. Aimee was nowhere to be seen. Fighting the tempest inside of her, she thought about what to do. If I go to Aimee’s house, she might not be there. There are a few haunts I could check, but if she did go home, I would be wasting my time. Besides, she might just be walking around aimlessly. Well, she has to come home sometime. If she’s not there now, I’ll wait outside her house. I don’t know what else to do. She turned for Aimee’s house and ran toward it.

Aimee’s house was a light-gray, Craftsman home with white columns along the front porch. Anna ran through the white, picket, front gate, barreling up the walk, bounding up the three steps, launching herself at the front door, and stabbing her finger at the doorbell.

“Aimee?” she panted, banging on the front door. “Aimee? Are you here? Please talk to me!” Anna cupped her hands around her eyes as she peered in the vertical window next to the door, only to see nobody. Anna’s emotions burst to the surface, running down her face, venting the horrid feeling of helplessness that made her feel like a rag doll in a vice. Catching her breath, she collapsed onto a white bench near the door to collect her thoughts while she opened her purse. Fortunately, she had stocked it with supplies because she had expected to be too nervous to remember them when she finally left the house as a girl. Retrieving the packet of tissues she had included, she wiped her tears, blew her nose and put the tissues away. Meanwhile, her mind stayed with Aimee. Where could she be? She’s out there alone and it’s all my fault! She reconsidered checking Aimee’s favorite places, but realized that Aimee might run at the sight of her - or call her Andrew in public - and what if she returned home while Anna was searching for her? She would not be inclined to open the door when Anna returned. She could only sit there and wait.

As she brooded, one minute burning into the next, hindsight revealed her mistakes. I should have been dressed as Andrew when she came to my house. I should have come out to her before I did anything else. Then, I should have told her that, when I’m being myself, I call myself Anna. That’s when I should have told her she’d been talking to the real me. God, I messed up! Her eyes watered again. I hope Aimee’s okay. I feel so powerless!

“Um… excuse me,” a familiar voice interrupted as it came up the steps onto the porch. Anna looked up to see who it was and shot to her feet when she saw — “Kim!! You’re here!! Thank God!! I really need you!!” Anna dashed over to her. Kim was a full head taller than Anna. She wore denim jeans and a rosy pink t-shirt. Her long, straight, light brown hair hung loose, her blue eyes puzzled at the stranger calling her by name and rushing toward her.

“I-I’m sorry. Do I know you?” she ventured. That was when recognition hit her like a bat smacking a piñata. “Oh, my God! Andrew, is that you?” she gasped.

Anna bit her lip as she trembled. “Yes, it’s me.”

“W-why are you… d-dressed as a girl?” Kim gently inquired.

“Because I am a girl,” Anna sobbed, her face crumpling. To Anna’s surprise, Kim embraced her. “Oh, Kim, I did something so stupid!” She cried on Kim’s shoulder. “I accidentally hurt Aimee while I was trying to help her!”

“Oh no! Tell me what happened so we can figure out what to do next. Here, let’s sit down,” Kim guided her to the bench, listening carefully as Anna explained what had happened and how Aimee had fled. Kim nodded and rubbed Anna’s shoulder.

“She’s out there on her own because of me. Can you please call her? I know she’d pick up for you. Then we’ll know she’s safe,” Anna pleaded.
“I think that’s a very good idea,” Kim agreed, grabbing her phone from her bag and dialing Aimee. Holding her phone to her ear, she listened for several seconds. “Damn, I’m just getting her voicemail.” Kim sighed, hanging up. “Well, I think I’d better text her in case she doesn’t check her voice messages. At least, a text will display on her screen.” Tapping away, Kim sent a message.

Kim Broderick: Home late last night. Met Anna. Worried about you. Call me!! xo

“We’ll have to hope she responds,” Kim murmured, sagging and putting her phone back in her purse.

Anna bit her lip, dismayed that Kim hadn’t reached Aimee. “God, I hope she does. I really screwed up,” she lamented, dropping her head and pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Why, because you didn't come right out and tell her about you? I’m sure every transgender girl takes a while to reveal who she is. It’s got to be really hard to be transgender because of all of the hate and rejection. Besides, it was really kind to share this part of you for the sake of helping her out - especially if you weren’t ready to. Your only mistake - and we’re talking about a mistake here, not some evil deed - was that you didn’t come out to her first.”

“I know I should have, but I was too scared to.” Anna blurted. “I guess I was hoping I could limit my girl talk with Aimee to the phone. I mean, I haven’t even told my mother yet!” Anna gasped, paling at the thought.

“Well, I kind of understand where you’re coming from. It’s not an enviable position, that’s for sure,” Anna’s eyes gently widened, her head nodding.

“You’ve got that right,” Anna stared into the distance, looking for Aimee. “God, where is she? Do you think she’s just wandering around, not paying much attention to where she’s going?” Anna worried.

“Hmmm. Yeah, that sounds like her,” Kim murmured, trailing off. With no further steps to be taken, and no bright ideas occurring, they sat in silence, marinating in their worry, scanning the street for any glimpse of Aimee. After a couple of minutes, Anna broke the stillness.

“By the way… what miracle brought you home early?” she turned to Kim, trying to smile.

“Well, unfortunately, there’s a wildfire up near the cabin and we had to evacuate. We could see the glow beyond the hills at night, and by late yesterday afternoon, the winds had shifted and it was getting smoky outside. We decided we could risk being trapped by the fire, or we could come home early - and that is a textbook ‘no-brainer’,” she chuckled darkly. “Anyway, we crammed what we could into the car and on the roof, in case the cabin burned. Then I fell asleep in the car on the way home, my cell phone battery was dead when I woke up, so I couldn’t call you guys to let you know I was coming, and we didn’t get home until midnight last night. Then, today, I thought I’d surprise you both, only Andrew wasn’t home and, uh… you surprised me,” she giggled, marveling at Anna’s appearance. “You make a very pretty girl, you know.”

“Thanks,” Anna blushed, smiling weakly. Kim’s purse chirped as her cellphone rang, making Anna gasp with hope. Snatching up her phone, Kim announced that Aimee was calling. Quickly answering, she held the phone to her ear.

“Aimee! I’m outside your house. We’ve been worried about you. Are you okay?” Kim glanced at Anna, indicating that Aimee was still upset. “I know. Anna told me what happened. She really is very worried about you.” Pause. “Aimee, there’s something about Anna that you don’t know and that you really need to hear, okay? Please come home?” Kim looked at Anna with a hopeful look. “Anna’s not here. Just me. Please come home and we’ll hang out, just you and me, okay?” Kim raised her eyebrows at Anna, silently asking if she would mind giving them privacy. Anna nodded her consent. “Okay, good. I’ll see you soon. Be safe.” Returning her phone to her purse, Kim looked over at Anna. “She’ll be here in ten minutes,” she sighed. “Anna… she’s not feeling up to seeing you right now. Please don’t take that as an indication of anything. I think she just needs to clear her head for a while.”

“Alright.” Anna stood and shouldered her purse, understanding Aimee’s needs. “You’ll call me, right? I need to know that she’s okay,” she stared at Kim, her eyes watering as they pled for mercy.

“I’ll call you,” Kim smiled.

“Okay. Thanks, Kim. For everything,” Anna tried to smile.

“That’s what friends are for,” Kim shrugged.

“Tell her I’m so sorry and I’m so glad she’s safe because if anything happened to her…” Anna wiped a tear from one eye, unable to finish.

“I will.” Kim assured.

“Okay. I guess I should go before she gets here. Talk to you later.” Anna hugged her friend, turned around and headed for home.

Anna hung her purse on her desk chair, relieved that Aimee was safe and hoping for a decent outcome. Aware that her makeup probably needed fixing, she pulled her makeup from her desk. She used the full-length mirror behind her door to assess the damage and make necessary repairs. Satisfied with her work, she put her makeup back and dropped into the chair with a sigh, fretting about what was happening at Aimee’s house. She took out Andrew’s phone and laid it on the desk in front of her. Staring at it, she perched her elbows to either side, crossed her arms and rested her head on her forearms. When she closed her eyes for a moment, she dozed until half an hour later, when the phone rang, startling her awake. Anna grabbed the phone and hastily answered.

“Kim? How’d it go?” she pressed, in Anna’s worried voice.

“Hey, Anna. Just so you know, we’re on speakerphone,” Kim warned.

“O-okay, that’s fine. It doesn’t matter. Ho-how is everything?” Anna pushed.

“So far so good,” Kim assessed, sounding positive.

For the first time since Aimee ran out of her house, Anna felt a fragile hope.

“Oh, thank God. Aimee, are you okay? Did I hurt you? Do you ever want to see my face again?” Anna prattled.

“Of course I do. Come over and see me,” Aimee invited, her voice carrying guilt… uncertainty… need. “Please? We really should talk.”

“There is nothing I would love more than to see you,” Anna croaked, choked up with fresh emotions.

“Good. See you in a few minutes?” Aimee double-checked.

“Yes. I’m coming,” Anna confirmed, clearing her throat, her hope growing stronger. “I’ll be right there.” She jumped up, reached for her purse, and slung it on her shoulder, turning for the door.

Aimee’s front door had never before hidden Anna’s future. She rang the bell, wondering what would be revealed when it was answered. Before she could compose herself, Kim opened the door.

“Hi, Anna,” she smiled. “Come inside.”

“Thanks, Kim.” Anna swallowed and crossed the threshold, her eager eyes looking for Aimee.

“Aimee’s in the living room,” Kim giggled, taking Anna by the hand and leading the way. The living room was painted in a dark mint green and the floors were pale hardwood, covered with a large, cream rug. Aimee sat on a cream couch against the left-hand wall with a nervous, yet broad smile on her face.

“Hi, Aimee. I am so, so glad that you’re safe,” Anna beamed, barely controlling her emotions as her eyes glistened.

“So am I,” she admitted, her face equally wrought up.

“As you said earlier, we should talk - but where do we start?” Anna looked over at Kim. “What have you revealed, if anything?”

“I haven’t revealed anything,” Kim smiled. “I insisted that you two should talk because it should come from you and there are probably some questions that I don’t have the answers to. We spent the time just giving Aimee a chance to clear her head and steady her nerves.”

“Okay.” Approaching Aimee like a shamed puppy, Anna requested, “May I sit down?”

Aimee sighed and patted the couch next to her, smiling in a dreamy manner. Anna gratefully accepted her invitation and sat, carefully tending to her dress and crossing her legs at her ankles, making Aimee’s eyebrows rise.

“By now, you must be wondering why I’m still dressed as a girl,” Anna began.

“As a matter of fact, I am,” she admitted, “But I have an idea.”

“You thought I was gay, and that was what I’ve been struggling with-”

“Yeah.”

“-but that wasn’t it. I’m transgender. I’m a girl, Aimee,” Anna confessed. “I may have a penis, but my brain and my heart were made for a girl.”

“So, then… you do like boys?” Aimee’s face clouded.

Shocked, Anna shook her head like a paint mixer. “No, no, no! I like girls!” She swallowed. “Just like I said over the phone!”

“Really?” Aimee smiled.

“Yes! Transgenderism is a matter of who you are, not who you love,” Anna clarified.

“Good,” Aimee sighing with relief, taking Anna’s hands.

“Remember, I said over the phone that I like girls?” Anna smiled, squeezing her hands with gentle affection.

“Yes. I do remember. I’m just fried right now,” Aimee shook her head, her brow wrinkling. “Anna, when you said that you knew a girl I could talk to,” Aimee glanced at their hands, “did you know already?” She returned her gaze to Anna’s eyes. “Or, were you still figuring it out?”

“I knew already,” Anna swallowed.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Aimee stared at her.

“I was too afraid to come out to anyone. But when you told me that you needed some girl talk… and Kim wasn’t expected back for three weeks… and I knew that I could give you that girl talk… I couldn’t resist.” Anna smiled.

“So, when you said that you wish you were a girl, you weren’t kidding.” Aimee flashed a coy grin.

“No! I totally meant that… and that was when I realized that you could talk to me.” Anna shrugged. “But I was afraid to come out. Terrified, actually. I haven’t even come out to my mother yet!” she rambled. “So, I arranged for us to talk over the phone,” she squeezed Aimee’s hands, “and I guess I thought it could stay that way,” Anna dropped her gaze. “It was stupid of me not to see that you would want to meet in person when you got back from your trip. On top of that, you started telling me about being in love with your mystery friend,” she caressed Aimee’s hands, “and I started to worry that you were opening up without truly knowing who you were talking to and you might start telling me things that I have no business knowing… but before I could decide whether to let it continue, I realized who you were talking about and I knew it had gone too far. I had really screwed up.” Anna released a deep sigh, lowering her gaze. “I just wanted to help someone I love,” she bemoaned, looking up at the sound of a sharp breath.

“Did you just say ‘love’?” Aimee gasped.

“Yes, I did.” Anna smiled. “Aimee, when you mentioned that, uh… that I don’t look around at other girls… or at boys… it was because I’m always looking at you.” Anna paused as Aimee’s eyes misted. “I love you, Aimee… for what that’s worth,” Anna’s mouth hung open for a moment, “if it’s worth anything at all, since, uh…” Anna’s gaze fell in her lap, “you’re in love with Andrew.”

“Well,“ Aimee tried, shrugging helplessly. “That was what I thought.”

Oh no! Don’t tell me her love has died! Anna sagged.

“I was taken by surprise when I first met you, Anna, because I am attracted to you - as much as I’m attracted to Andrew!” Aimee giggled, making Anna look up with hope. “And, I think that, deep down, I knew who I was looking at, even though it didn’t compute at the very beginning. But, deep down, I knew that it was you, and that you were dressed as a girl, and that I was still attracted. But when I consciously realized Andrew and Anna are the same person, a lot of things shot through my head. I wondered what it means that I’m just as attracted to you as I am to Andrew. Does it mean that I’m bisexual? Or does it mean that, deep down, I knew you were a girl and she was always the one I was attracted to? I still don’t know the answer to that - I only know that I’m attracted to you.

“Then, I wondered why you’d been hiding this from us for such a long time. I knew you were struggling, even if I misunderstood the nature of the struggle. I’ve seen that in you for more than a year. I wondered why you didn’t come to me, to either of us. I felt kind of hurt. On top of that, I knew I was looking at a girl - and, in my frazzled state of mind, I forgot that you had told me you like girls, so I figured you were probably attracted to boys - and I’m in love with you! Speaking of which, I was freaked out that I might have told you enough for you to figure that out. I didn’t want you to know that if you were attracted to boys or if you didn’t feel the same way - and, not knowing how you felt, I was afraid it might mess up our friendship. So all of that hit me at once. My brain farted something about you not telling me, and I ran.” Aimee took a breath. Anna stared in her eyes, not daring to miss a word.

“While I was gone, I started to think about things. I can understand why a transgender girl would hide, even for a long time, so I stopped being mad about that. I worried that you might prefer guys, but at that point, I did remember that you told me otherwise on the phone, so that was one more thing resolved. Then I went back to why I’m just as attracted to Anna as I am to Andrew. I'll have to figure that out. I only know that you’re the only one I’ve been in love with.” Aimee’s love ran down her cheeks, making Anna blush as she flashed an indescribable smile. “That much I am sure of. I love you, Anna.”

“Really?” Anna reflected Aimee’s grin as she got out her tissues and dabbed at Aimee’s face.

“Yes!” Aimee blurted.

“Well, now you know that I am in love with you, too. So, your worries are over.” Anna beamed. Aimee seized her and kissed her hard on her lips. Perhaps realizing that Kim was in the room, she released the kiss, keeping her arms around Anna as they exchanged wordless love. Aimee cocked her head and murmured, “You know… I do have some questions.”

Nodding, Anna replied, “I’m sure I know which ones. Fire away.”

“Why did you say that you met Anna at one of your recitals?” Aimee began.

“Well, in a very real way, I did. That recital was where it became clear that I’m a girl; it was when I became aware of Anna. The other girls were dressed up so beautifully and I knew I wanted to be dressed like they were. I was uncomfortable with the boys and I fit right in with the girls and… I just saw it. I understood why I’ve always felt like my instincts were wrong and why something always felt… off. So, anyway, that recital was how I met Anna.”

“Okay.” Aimee seemed relieved, but she wasn’t done. “What about Anna’s phone number? Whose number is it?”

“It’s mine; it’s the number to my other cell phone - which I did not buy to hide my identity from you. Eleven months ago, I started buying clothes online. Most of the merchants want a phone number to complete the purchase, so I bought myself a cheap, prepaid phone so I could give them that number. Just imagine a merchant calling my iPhone about my breast forms while I’m with my mother!” she giggled, making the others laugh.

“Okay, I understand now,” Aimee nodded - but then her eyes went wide.

“Wait. Anna, when did you realize that I’m in love with you? Did you know before Friday night?”

“No, Aimee. I didn’t know until last night, when I suggested that you tell your mystery friend that he could tell you anything, you mean anything, and you’d still be his friend no matter what - and you repeated those words to Andrew. I knew right away - and I knew that I couldn’t hide from you anymore. Oh, Aimee, I wasn’t doing this to trick you into telling me your private thoughts; I was doing it to give you someone to talk to. I didn’t want you to be stuck alone with what was bothering you for three weeks until Kim got home. I mean, sure, she’s here now, but I didn’t know she was coming home early until forty-five minutes ago. So, I was doing this for the right reasons - though, I still did something wrong. I didn’t tell you who Anna was, like I should have, and because of that, things went horridly wrong. Can you ever forgive me?” Anna begged.

“You’re forgiven.” Aimee hugged her. “And like I said, I still love you - and I still want you.”

She squeezed Anna and attacked her mouth with a loving kiss. When the kiss went on with no sign of ending, Kim cleared her throat. “May I suggest that we head to the kitchen for some nice, cool, ice water… so I can douse you with it?”

~ FINIS ~

Moving On - Part 1

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Preteen or Intermediate

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Katie was not in a great mood that night. Her mother had just divorced her father and they had moved across the country to be closer to her mother’s family. They had stayed in a noisy hotel until the day before the movers were expected to arrive at the new house because they decided to travel by airplane while their belongings made the journey in a mover’s truck. When they stepped off of the plane and went to baggage claim, Katie’s suitcase was nowhere to be found. On top of that, when the movers delivered their belongings, it was discovered that Katie’s clothes were missing. To add insult to injury, they’d spent her twelfth birthday on the plane.

Moving On Part 1: New Life for Katie

Moving could really screw things up, but it could also greatly improve them -- even at the same time. Katie Stanton and her older sister, Carolyn, unpacked their things in their new bedrooms, visualizing how they wanted to set them up. Their mother, Sally, ran the dishes, glasses and silverware through the dishwasher before putting them away in the cupboards.

While she unpacked her things, she wore a pair of jeans with cutely embroidered back pockets, a lavender t-shirt, and a pair of black canvas Mary Janes without socks. Her shoulder-length hair was held high up in a pony tail by a lavender scrunchy. She wore a pair of silver clip-on hoop earrings, a silver necklace with a silver heart pendant on it, and a silver ring with a lavender cubic zirconium on it.

Katie was not yet comfortable in her new home or in the new town they lived in, but she sorely hoped that she could leave her old life behind, like everything else. Katie had been born a boy. She began dressing as a girl three years earlier and had continued to do so whenever she could -- but she could only dress as a girl at home and when her father was away. Most of the time -- even after the divorce -- she still had to live as a boy named Kamrin, or as his family called him, KD.

Carolyn had begun to keep her old clothes so that Katie could have them and she had packed them with her other clothes. The movers lost KD’s clothes -- as did the airline -- but all of Carolyn’s clothes had arrived safely. Katie, Carolyn and their mother talked about what they would do. They decided that it really was a perfect opportunity for Katie to explore herself for a while and see what she discovered. Katie might as well take advantage of it. Conveniently enough, the only people within a thousand miles who knew them were the members of Sally’s family.

However, Katie would need a few things to last her if she went down that road. Sally did not have a huge budget for clothes at the moment. She could buy Katie the few pairs of panties, socks, tights and one or two pairs of shoes that she needed — but it was either that or buy more boys’ clothes. Sally couldn’t afford both — or at least, Katie would end up with a tiny amount of boys’ clothes and still be short on girls’ clothes. If Katie wanted the girls’ clothes then that would be just fine, but she would only have girls’ clothes for two months — unless, of course, the movers or the airlines found KD’s clothes first.

Katie made up her mind before her mother could even blink. She wanted to try being a girl for a while.

The decision was made, and with a great big smile on her face, Katie began her life as a girl.

* * * * *

At the age of eight, Kamrin Dolan Stanton informed his family that he wanted them to call him KD and his family began to do exactly that. However, Kamrin had another, secret reason that he wanted to be called KD. It sounded a lot like Katie, except that it was emphasized slightly differently. Anyway, he still preferred that to Kamrin, which for some reason, KD felt was too androgynous.

His family got used to referring to him as KD. It was this new moniker that gave Carolyn the idea of dressing up KD and turning him into Katie. She was unaware that this was exactly what KD wanted, but the similarity of the names KD and Katie was not lost on her. She tested KD a few times by pronouncing KD just like Katie while their parents’ attention was elsewhere. KD always responded quite favorably to having KD pronounced like Katie.

For a while, Carolyn didn’t ask KD if she could dress him up as a girl because she doubted that he would go for it. However, on the night of his ninth birthday, KD quietly knocked on his sister’s door after he was supposed to be asleep. She opened it to find KD standing there in his usual oversized t-shirt and his shoulder-length hair down. The expression on KD’s face made it clear that he needed to talk. Carolyn glanced down the hall toward their parents’ room, stood to one side, and admitted KD to her room.

“Hi Carolyn.”

“Hi yourself, birthday boy.”

Carolyn could have sworn she saw KD wince.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”

“Yes...”

KD trailed off. Carolyn wondered what was happening within KD -- and KD soon deepened the mystery by asking a question. Carolyn knew that KD had something to say and she remained quiet to give him a chance to speak.

“Um, Carolyn, um... I have one last birthday wish and... I was... kind of... w-wondering if... you would be willing to... well, help me with this wish.”

Carolyn got the funny feeling that it would be no ordinary wish. She smiled cautiously.

“Well, as long as it’s nothing dangerous or illegal or that we’d have to hide from Mom and Dad or anything, sure I will!”

“Okay. Good.”

KD took a deep breath and Carolyn sat on the bed next to him.

“So tell me. What’s your wish?”

“W-well, um...” KD swallowed hard. “I w-want...” KD closed his eyes, took a deep breath and forced it all out, while he kept his eyes shut.

“I want to dress like a girl.”

He kept his eyes shut, waiting nervously for Carolyn to react.

“You do? Really?”

Carolyn put her arm around her little brother. She hadn’t anticipated that particular wish, but somehow, it didn’t surprise her. KD opened his eyes and looked at her.

“Y-yes, I do.”

Carolyn thought for a moment. KD clearly wanted this and Carolyn could see no harm in it. They would have to hide this little stunt from their parents -- mainly their father -- but...

“Okay. I’ll dress you up as a girl, if you really want me to.”

KD took another deep breath and made himself speak his mind.

“I really want to. Please don’t ask me why because I really don’t know. I just know that I really want to.”

“Okay. Well, then let’s dress you up!”

Carolyn had a smile on her face. She had wanted to dress up KD for several months, and she was getting her wish, but she got the feeling that it wasn’t as simple as dressing up KD. Many girls dressed up their little brothers as girls somewhere along the way, but this... this was different. Carolyn could feel it.

KD slowly smiled.

“Really? Y-you don’t think I’m a... p-pervert or anything?”

Carolyn shook her head and smiled at her brother.

“No, not at all! There are plenty of boys who love to dress as girls and who are nothing like a pervert.”

“Really?”

KD opened his eyes wide for a moment but soon knitted his brows.

“W-wait. W-what do you mean?”

Carolyn sat down on the bed again.

“Well, some boys just like the clothes but they don’t want anything more than just dressing up. They’re boys just like other boys the rest of the time. Other boys are really girls on the inside and they love to dress up because they want to be the girls they really are. Does that make sense?”

KD widened his big eyes.

“Yeah, that makes sense. Wow! I had no idea -- but I’m glad to hear that.”

“I had a feeling you might be.”

KD nodded and Carolyn stood up to get some clothes out of her closet. KD tried not to look too excited -- and the nerve he felt was helping -- yet not helping. He smiled at his big sister.

“All right, KD, here we go!”

When Carolyn turned her back, KD quietly jigged while he sat on the bed. Unbeknownst to his family, he had always wanted to dress as a girl. He adored girls’ clothes and had always wished he could dress the way girls did.

“Carolyn, can I wear a dress?”

She giggled at her little brother, who was so eager to be dressed up as a girl.

“Sure, why not? It’s still your birthday!”

“Yay!”

They shared another giggle and Carolyn went back into her closet. She pulled out an old pink cotton dress that she had loved but outgrown. She laid it on her bed and went to her dresser.

“Ooh, I love that dress! It’s so cute!”

“Yeah, I loved it, too. It’s a shame I can’t wear it anymore. I don’t know what to do with it now -- other than dress you up in it, that is!”

KD smiled brightly.

“I can live with that!”

“You are so cute!”

Carolyn picked out a training bra and a pair of panties and laid them next to the dress. She got out the pair of pink flats that went with the dress and placed them with the dress. Then she paused for a moment, as though considering something.

“Do you want to wear tights, KD?”

KD’s nerves went up a notch -- but so did his excitement. He loved it when girls wore tights and he always pictured himself wearing tights if he ever did get to dress up as a girl.

“Yes, please!”

Carolyn smiled at her younger brother and got out an old pair of white tights which were once her favorite but no longer fit. It crossed her mind that her wardrobe could use a good spring cleaning.

“Okay, let’s turn you into a girl!”

KD’s eyes widened a bit. That sounded great, whatever it meant!

“Okay! I guess we start with these, right?”

“Yup.”

KD grabbed the panties and went into Carolyn’s bathroom to put them on. He removed his briefs and the oversized t-shirt which was his preferred sleepwear. With great joy, he slipped on the panties. They felt so nice! He ran out of the bathroom and into Carolyn’s bedroom.

“Be careful not to make too much noise, there, KD. We don’t want Mom or Dad checking on us -- especially Dad.”

KD’s face went serious and he looked more than a little bit nervous.

“Oh, yeah, I don’t want that,” KD said quietly.

* * * * *

Sally looked up from the book she was reading, as did her husband.

“Sounds like someone’s awake who’s supposed to be asleep, goddammit,” he growled.

“Yes, it sure does.”

“I’ll put the little powder puff back in bed.”

He began to rise from bed.

“Let me. I have to go to the bathroom anyway,” Sally lied.

There was no way she was letting him near KD if he was going to call him names like that. She hated the way her husband dealt with the children. He was always so harsh with them -- especially to poor KD. KD had always been an adorable, feminine little angel and his father had terrible trouble accepting him that way. KD’s father wanted him to be a man. Never mind that he was a child, for crying out loud!

KD’s relationship with his father went to a new low after KD’s father, a career military officer, returned from a two-year tour of duty overseas and Sally had allowed KD to grow his hair while his Dad was gone. Sally began to remind KD that he would have to cut his hair before his father came home, but each time she did, she saw a tortured, haunted look in the eyes of her child. Sally had noticed that KD’s growing hair was the only thing that seemed to bring him any happiness and she began to think that if she made him cut his hair he would be so devastated that she might as well rip his heart out. By the time his father returned, Sally had resolved that KD would keep his hair the way he wanted it. When KD’s father returned home and saw his hair, he was furious.

For the first time, Sally watched in horror as her husband raised his hand to strike KD, but restrained himself, thank God for small miracles. Her husband did, however, storm up to his bedroom and slam the door. It was the last time he would ever call KD anything other than Kamrin.

Ever since that night, Sally had jumped in to handle any problems with KD herself -- not that there were many. Fortunately, her husband was always glad to have Sally handle it anyway. Sally had used that to shield KD from her husband’s worst ires.

She got up and headed for the bedroom door.

* * * * *

“Oh, Carolyn, look at me! I look so pretty. I had no idea I could look this pretty!”

Tears began to slip from KD’s face as he looked at his reflection in Carolyn’s mirror.

“I didn’t either, but you’re right -- you look adorable!”

KD turned around and gave his sister a great big hug.

“Hey, KD, would you like me to call you Katie while you’re dressed up?”

Katie smiled brightly.

“Yes, I would love it!”

Carolyn had never seen her little sibling so happy. Katie seemed lit up and alive like never before -- until they heard a knock at Carolyn’s door. Katie gasped, turned white as mashed potatoes and began trembling. She was terrified that her father would be at the door. Carolyn took a second to reassure her.

“It will be all right, Katie, don’t worry. If it’s Dad. I-I’ll tell him I did it as a punishment for being out of bed.”

Katie might have relaxed slightly. Carolyn couldn’t really tell.

“Carolyn? Is KD in there?”

It was their mother and they relaxed. Mom would at least be rational about this. Carolyn looked over at Katie and smiled as she answered the door.

“Hi, Mom. Yeah, Katie’s in here,” Carolyn quietly admitted.

Sally didn’t notice the way Carolyn pronounced her brother’s name -- she was staring at Katie with her mouth open in shock. Sally recovered enough to close the door behind her and sit on the bed.

“Oh, my Lord, look at you!”

Katie, misunderstanding her mother’s reaction, began to tear up and sniffle.

“I’m sorry, Mom. Please, please don’t tell Dad! He’ll kill me!”

Sally held her arms out toward her child, who sat on her lap and gratefully accepted her embrace. Sally knew that KD was right about keeping this from his father and she had no intention of telling him about finding their son dressed as a girl. If he couldn’t handle KD’s long hair then... Sally could not finish the thought. In recent months she had begun to fear that her husband might start to beat KD. She had seen him raise a hand but restrain himself on several occasions.

“Don’t you worry, sweetheart. I’m not going to tell him.”

Katie calmed down a bit and Carolyn handed him a box of tissues. Katie took one and blew her nose. Carolyn sat down next to her mother.

“Mom, I guess we have some explaining to do.”

Sally looked at Carolyn and nodded.

“Yes, I guess you do. I-I’m not angry at all, by the way -- I was shocked for a moment, but not angry. Anyway, I do want to know how this came about.”

“I’ll tell her, Carolyn.”

Carolyn smiled at her new little sister.

“Go ahead, Katie.”

This time, Sally noticed.

“Katie, huh?” She smiled.

Katie weakly nodded.

“Yeah. Th-that’s why I wanted everyone to call me KD; because it sounds like Katie.”

To Katie’s surprise, her mother smiled at her.

“I like it. It’s very cute -- and it was very clever to use that name and hide it behind your initials so that your father wouldn’t catch on. Speaking of the devil, you’d better start talking before he wonders what’s keeping me.”

Katie smiled at her mother and gave her a big hug. She sat back to make eye contact with her mother, but looked down at her legs in their pretty tights.

“Mommy, I asked Carolyn to dress me up as a girl tonight as a last birthday wish. I really wanted to do it.”

“Well, there’s certainly no harm in that. Do you know why you wanted to dress up as a girl?”

Katie shook her head.

“No, I really don’t know. I just know that I really wanted to -- I’ve always really wanted to -- and now I also know how good it feels to be dressed as a girl.”

Sally was no fool. She had once dressed up her own brother as a girl, but it had been entirely different. Her brother hated it and was not the least bit feminine. Judging from the way that Katie had always been so feminine, the way she had secretly pleaded with her mother to let her grow her hair long, the way she looked so wounded when her mother reminded her she would have to have it cut before her father arrived home, and the way she was now dressed completely as a girl by her own request, there was far more going on than a sister dressing up her brother. Sally wondered if her child might be transgendered.

“Well, I think that’s a good enough reason.”

She kissed Katie on her head and Katie gave her another big hug, tearfully thanking her for understanding.

“Okay, baby, I’d better get back. I’m going to tell your father that you had an upset stomach and needed to run to the bathroom. You can stay dressed as a girl for a little while longer, since it’s a Friday night, but be very quiet, okay?”

Katie had a big smile on her face and hugged her mother one more time.

“Thank you, Mommy! We’ll be really quiet, I promise!”

“All right. Goodnight, kiddos!”

She kissed Carolyn on her way out.

“Goodnight, Mom!”

* * * * *

Katie was glad that her father was no longer in her life. She was enjoying her first day as Katie. She was nervous about leaving the house as a girl, but she decided to worry about that bridge when she got to it.

Part of the reason that they had chosen to move to California was that California was much more liberal than Virginia. Katie and her family decided that California would probably be a safer place for Katie to explore herself than Virginia -- especially if Katie really was a girl. That helped Katie feel a little less nervous about leaving the house as a girl, but it didn’t get rid of her nerves entirely. At some point, after all, Katie would have to face things like school. Fortunately, the move had taken place during the summer so that Katie didn’t need to worry about school for a while.

She decided to take a break from her unpacking and headed for the kitchen. Carolyn was already there, enjoying a glass of lemonade. The first round of dishes was put away in the cupboards, and Katie grabbed a glass, filled it with the lemonade and sat down next to Carolyn.

“Hey, Katie.”

“Hey, Carolyn.”

She smiled at her little sister.

“How do you like being Katie?”

“I love it!”

Carolyn nodded.

“I knew you would.”

The door bell sounded and Carolyn rose to answer the door.

“I’ll get that.”

Carolyn walked out of the kitchen and opened the door to find a girl about Katie’s age standing there.

“Oh, hi, there, how are you?”

“I’m good thanks, how are you?”

“A bit tired from all the unpacking, but good, thanks.”

“Well, I’m Emma. I live across the street.” Emma pointed at a lovely brick house almost directly across from their house. “I saw the moving truck yesterday and I just wanted to say hello and see if there are any girls my age living here. There’s only one other one but I can tell she’s into bad stuff like drugs, so I don’t want to hang out with her.”

Emma was clearly a bit lonely, judging from the way she rambled. For a moment, Carolyn wondered how to respond. Katie wasn’t quite what she appeared to be, and Carolyn didn’t want to reveal Katie’s secret -- but Emma needed a friend. Before Carolyn could respond, Emma looked behind her and...

“What’s your name?”

“I’m Katie.”

Carolyn turned around to see Katie standing there and smiling sweetly. Katie had quietly followed her to the door, forgetting how she was dressed, or perhaps more accurately, forgetting that how she was dressed might not go over well.

“Oh. Katie! I didn’t know you were there.”

Carolyn giggled nervously. She hadn’t heard Katie follow her to the door. She quickly decided not to reveal Katie’s secret.

“Anyway, yeah, she’s Katie and I’m Carolyn. We’re the Stantons.”

“Nice to meet you two!”

“You, too, Emma!”

“So how old are you guys? I’m eleven. How about you?” Emma asked hopefully.

“I’m sixteen.”

“And I just turned twelve.”

“Well, happy birthday, Katie!”

“Thank you! Do you want to come in?”

Carolyn opened her mouth to say something but...

“Sure! Thanks!”

Emma stepped inside and Katie closed the door behind them. Carolyn was feeling nervous -- and astonished that Katie wasn’t!

“I have always loved this house. I can’t wait to see it when you’re finished unpacking!”

“You and me both,” Katie joked.

Katie and Emma shared a giggle.

“Anyway, we were just having some lemonade. Want some?”

“Yes, please!”

“Okay! Come on in the kitchen!”

Katie led the way into the kitchen where Emma sat down at the table and Katie poured her a glass of lemonade.

“I’m going to use the girls’ room, ladies. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay!”

Emma noticed something that struck her as odd and she waited until Carolyn was gone before she asked about it.

“How come she went upstairs to go the bathroom?”

Katie paused for a moment, unsure what Emma meant, until she remembered that they had a guest bathroom on the main floor.

“Well, er, the upstairs bathroom is more unpacked and, you know, comfortable. It has toilet paper.”

“Oh! That’s a mighty good reason!”

“Yup!”

They shared another giggle. Much to Katie’s relief, Emma seemed satisfied with that explanation.

“Have you been in this house before?”

“Yeah, some former owners used to throw neighborhood Christmas parties and we usually came.”

“Well, that’s nice. It’s too bad they moved away -- kind of!”

Emma caught Katie’s joke.

“Yeah. It really is -- kind of.”

They shared a giggle.

“I do miss those Christmas parties.”

The sound of footsteps approached the kitchen.

“Well, hello there, ladies!”

Sally turned to Emma.

“I’m the Mom. Welcome to our house!”

Sally smiled warmly at Emma as Carolyn rejoined Katie and Emma at the table. Carolyn hadn’t been in the bathroom as she had claimed. She had been alerting Sally to the situation and assuring her that Emma ostensibly had no idea about Katie’s secret. Sally decided that she would chat with Emma and if she felt she trusted her enough, then Katie might as well have a girl friend. As long as she was exploring her identity, why not do it right -- and for God sake, why do it alone if she doesn’t have to?

“I’m Emma. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Stanton.”

Sally decided she couldn’t resist a glass of lemonade and poured herself one before sitting down at the table.

“It’s very nice to meet you, too. I take it you’re one of our new neighbors?”

“Yes, that’s right. I live across the street. I’m glad that there’s finally another girl my age in the neighborhood! I was just telling the girls that the only other one is pretty clearly into drugs. There’s just no other way to explain some of her behavior.”

Sally decided that she wanted to know more about this girl.

“Really? What kind of behavior?”

“Well, like one night I heard a noise outside at a little after midnight and I looked out my window to see what it was. I saw this girl staggering around and there was a knocked over trash can behind her, which she probably knocked over. She really looked like she was high on something.”

“Oh, dear. Do her parents know about this?”

“I’m not sure. I think they kind of ignore her.”

“That is what happens when parents ignore their children too much,” Sally thought ruefully.

Well, she would find out more later. Time to change the subject.

“So, which house is yours?”

“The brick house right across the street.”

“Oh, that’s a lovely house!”

“Thank you! We’ll have to have you over to welcome you and give you all a tour sometime!”

“That would be wonderful! Well, I’ve got to get back to making this house look like someone actually lives here!”

The girls giggled at Sally’s good-natured humor.

“It was so nice meet you, Emma. I hope we’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, that would be great!” Katie enthused.

“I would like that, too. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Stanton!”

Sally went upstairs to hang a few more pictures. Emma noticed something else that made her curious.

“So where’s Mr. Stanton?”

Katie and Carolyn looked at each other.

“Ooh, bad question to ask?”

“No, it’s okay. It’s just that our mother just divorced him. That’s why we moved here. Mom’s family lives out here and besides it’s a lot safer for me because--”

Katie stopped herself from spilling her secret. Emma could tell that there was something that they didn’t want her to know. She felt uncomfortable for a moment.

“--well, um, I’m safer from my Dad over here.”

This was absolutely true.

“Oh, I see.”

Emma visibly relaxed.

“He was that bad, huh?”

For a moment, Carolyn thought Katie was going to tell her everything, and was relieved that she didn’t.

“Yeah. He never could accept me--”

Katie’s eyes widened as she looked at Emma. Carolyn nervously took a swig of lemonade as Katie continued.

“Um, let me explain all of this.”

Carolyn accidentally inhaled her lemonade and began sputtering. Carolyn was tense as she subtly shook her head at Katie, who noticed, but made no response.

“He was a military man and all that shit and he always wanted to have a son, right? Well, he was disappointed when Carolyn was born and a lot more disappointed when I turned out to be a girl, too. Oh yeah, and, Mom had dangerous complications during both deliveries. I was a caesarian baby and they tied her tubes while they were already in there. Of course, that meant Dad could never have a son. Anyway, he always tried to turn me into a boy. As if!”

Katie rolled her eyes and her little joke successfully defused the tension. Everything she said had actually taken place, so at least she was telling the truth. Katie did not reveal her secret as Carolyn had feared, and Carolyn relaxed.

Emma’s cellphone began ringing and Emma checked the display to see what number was displayed on it. The display said NO CALLER ID which usually meant that Emma’s mother was calling. Emma answered her phone and briefly talked with her mother before hanging up.

“That was my Mom. I have to get back. It sure was nice meeting you -- and I’m really glad you moved in!”

“You too and so am I! Come on, I’ll walk you to the door.”

“Okay!”

Carolyn smiled as she watched her little sister interact with her new friend. Katie seemed so natural being a girl and chatting with her new girl friend that it was hard to believe that Katie had ever been a boy. Katie opened the door and they bantered for a few more moments while they exchanged phone numbers. Finally, it was time to part ways.

“Bye, Emma!”

Katie gave her a little hug.

“Bye, Katie -- keep in touch, okay?”

“Definitely! See you soon!”

“Yeah, you too!”

“Bye!”

Katie closed the door and found Carolyn smiling at her.

“If I didn’t know any better I would swear that you are happier as a girl.”

Katie smiled at her sister.

“You’re right, I am!”

Katie’s face clouded up as she began to feel somewhat nervous.

“I wonder what that means?”

Carolyn paused before responding. She had a pretty good idea what it meant.

“I don’t know, sweetie.”

“Oh well. Back to unpacking, I guess!”

“Yeah, we got a lot to do! Come on!”

They began to trot up the stairs and Carolyn had an idea.

“Hey, Katie, do you want to put all your girl clothes in your new closet!”

Katie’s face lit up with joy as she gently gasped.

“Yes! I would love that!”

She giggled with glee as they trotted up the stairs.

Three hours later, the doorbell rang again. This time, all three of them went down to the front door and Sally answered.

Emma was back with her mother, who was holding a casserole in a dish while Emma held paper plates, paper cups, and plastic silverware.

“Oh, my goodness, you must be Emma’s mother! I’m Sally Stanton.”

“Hi, Sally! Yes, I’m Eleanor Stewart. It’s so nice to meet you.”

“You too! Please, come on in!”

Sally stood aside and gestured for them to enter.

“Emma has told me a lot about you three.”

“All of it good, I hope,” Sally kidded as she closed the door and Eleanor laughed. “Please, come on in. My, that smells delicious!”

“Well, good, I brought it over for you. I went through a divorce and ensuing move myself and we lived on greasy takeout food for a few weeks after we arrived at the new house. I thought I’d save you from the same!”

“Awww, well thank you so much! That’s very kind of you. I was indeed just thinking about ordering some Chinese food when you rang the doorbell.”

They shared a laugh.

“Well, Eleanor, why don’t you and Emma join us for dinner -- if you don’t mind the ‘not moved in yet’ look, that is?”

“Thank you very much, we’d like that, if you’re sure it’s no trouble -- and please, call me Ellie!”

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all. This way, please!”

Sally led the way to the kitchen where Ellie placed the casserole.

“We do at least have our dishes washed and put away. Would you put these on the table, please, Katie?”

Sally handed her five plates, which Katie put on the table while Sally got out glasses for everyone. Carolyn got the silverware.

“So Katie, Emma tells me you just turned twelve, is that right?”

“Yes, Mrs. Stewart. Just yesterday.”

“Did you do anything fun, I hope?”

“We got on a plane and came here,” Katie smiled.

“Oh, dear, a birthday spent on a plane!”

Emma knew the feeling.

“I had to do that once, too, when we went to visit my grandmother in Florida over spring break. We had to fly back right on my birthday! I didn’t even get a party that year!”

“Awww! Well, that reminds me; next Saturday we’re planning to have a get-together at my sister’s house so Katie and Carolyn can visit their cousins and it’s also a birthday celebration for Katie. We’d love to have you if you can make it!”

Katie and Carolyn exchanged glances. Katie really did want Emma to come.

“Yeah, Emma, please come?”

“Can we go, Mom?”

Ellie smiled at her daughter and looked at Sally.

“Well, that’s certainly a very gracious invitation and we would love to come. Thank you!”

“You’re very welcome -- it’s the least I can do to thank you for this delicious casserole. You are one terrific chef, Ellie!”

Ellie beamed at Sally’s compliment on her never-fail casserole.

Sally and her daughters really enjoyed sharing a meal with the Stewarts and Sally was glad that she and Katie had both already made new friends in their new town. When they were finished eating, Sally washed out the casserole dish -- which they had virtually licked clean -- and handed it back to Ellie. They bade each other good night and Sally closed the door behind them. Sally turned away from the door and took two steps away from it before she stopped dead in her tracks, gasped, and put one hand on her forehead.

“Oh, my God! I invited them to your Aunt Franny’s house and we haven’t even told her about Katie yet!”

Carolyn and Katie looked at each other.

“Yeah, we kind of noticed that,” Carolyn spoke for both of them.

“Don’t worry, sweetie. I’m going to give her a call right now and let her in on it. Since KD’s clothes are still missing in action, Katie will have to be the guest of honor anyway unless we want to cancel.”

Katie looked somewhat dejected at the possibility of canceling -- and with that, Sally resolved they were going to go to Franny’s house as planned. Katie had been through enough. Let her have her birthday party!

“Do you think she’ll accept me, Mom?”

Sally hugged her younger daughter.

“Yes, Katie, I’m pretty sure she will.”

Katie relaxed a bit and Sally went to make the call.

* * * * *

“Hello?”

“Hiya, sis! It’s me! We’re here and we’re getting settled!”

“Sally!! I’m so glad you’re in town! How’s the move-in going?”

“Well, so far so good! We’ve already met some very nice neighbors and Katie already has a new friend!”

Sally bit her lip. Luckily, Franny didn’t notice that Sally had pronounced KD as Katie.

“Well, good for KD! That’s great!”

“Yeah, I think we’re both happy about that!”

“Yeah...” Franny paused for a moment. “Sis, are you okay? You sound a little bit... out of sorts.”

“Well, I’ll tell you, Franny. I have some very interesting news about KD that I wanted to let you in on.”

“Really? What’s up?”

“You know how KD loves having his hair long and loves going by KD, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And you also know how feminine KD has always been?”

“Of course. He is such a cutie! I still say that gorgeous hair of his is wasted on a boy!”

Sally chuckled.

“Funny you should say that.”

Franny paused again.

“Oh? Do tell!”

“Well, on the night of KD’s ninth birthday...”

Sally told her sister the whole story of Katie’s gender identity confusion and exploration and ended with the part about the airline and the movers both losing KD’s clothes.

“Anyway, Katie was only dressing as a girl at home with Carolyn’s help -- when that ex of mine wasn’t home, that is -- until KD’s clothes went AWOL. We decided that -- since Katie has only got girl’s clothes anyway -- she might as well use this opportunity to do some self-exploration and--”

“Wow. How is Katie taking all of this?”

“She’s thrilled, actually. She’s nervous about leaving the house dressed as a girl but she is loving every minute of being Katie -- which is a damned good thing. The divorce lawyer, the hotel, the airfare and the cross-country movers devoured our savings -- half of which my ex-husband withdrew from the bank the minute he heard I was divorcing him -- and he hasn’t sent a dime of child support so far. I’m probably going to have to go after him legally if I want him to pay up. Anyway, I can’t afford to buy KD any new clothes for a little while -- not if we want to eat with the lights on and a roof over our heads!”

“Well, then it is a damned good thing Katie loves her ‘predicament’! So have you told your new neighbor friends about Katie?”

“No, we haven’t. Emma came over by herself at first and Carolyn answered the door without realizing that Katie was right behind her, so Emma and Katie met right away. Then she returned later with her mother -- who makes one hell of a casserole, by the way. Damn, but that woman can cook!”

“Oh, how nice!”

“Yes, it was a lovely gesture. Anyway, they don’t know -- and to be honest, I’m not feeling inclined to tell them. I mean, I feel somewhat conflicted about trying to make friends with Ellie while hiding this from her, but--”

“Yeah, I see what you mean. Well, you certainly don’t have to tell her now. I mean, are we sure that Katie is a girl or no?”

“Well, not a hundred percent, no. Not yet.”

“Well, there you go.”

“Yeah. Oh, and by the way I hope you don’t mind but I invited them to the birthday party. Ellie was so nice to make that casserole and--”

“Well hell, sis, anyone who takes good care of you is a friend of mine, so please do bring them over! We’d love the have them!”

“Well, great! Thanks, sis! Sorry about not asking you first.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. Anyway, sis, this is a really big adjustment for all of you. How are you feeling about Katie?”

“Well, I’m not terribly surprised. I have this feeling like I should be shocked but I’m not. I mean, I was a little bit shocked the first time I saw Katie dressed as a girl but that was because she looked so good, not because I was surprised! I had a feeling she might go down that road eventually. Anyway, I have absolutely no problem accepting her just the way she is -- although, I do want to get her started with a gender specialist as soon as I can afford it.”

“You mean a psychiatrist?”

“Yeah.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“Yeah. So there you have it. The only thing bothering me about it is that I suppose I’m kind of worried about her safety even though California is a lot more liberal than Virginia. Aside from that...” Sally glanced at her closed bedroom door. “I’m finding it quite a bit easier in many ways to have two daughters. I mean, suddenly hand-me-downs are actually an option!”

Franny chuckled at her sister.

“Well, that’s certainly a help!”

“Yeah, it’s a huge help!”

“Well, Sal, I am very happy that Katie is figuring out who she is. I am not surprised by any of this either, you know -- nor do I have the slightest problem with it!”

“Well, good. I knew you’d be great about this, but, you know--”

“--it’s still hard to reveal something like that.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“I understand. Well, sis, I am going to have a talk with my girls and let them know about Katie -- and after the way Katie’s played Barbies with them a few times I really doubt they’ll be surprised either -- and as far as the birthday party we’re planning, we would love to have Katie come!”

“Thank you so much, sis! She’ll be so happy to hear that!”

“What are sisters for? Oh, Sal, I have an idea.”

“Okay, shoot!”

“I’m thinking that since Ellie and Emma don’t know about Katie it might be best to decorate just like I would for either of my girls so Ellie and Emma don’t catch on just yet.”

“Awww, sis, Katie will probably love it! You know, her new bedroom was occupied by another girl before we moved in and the walls are lavender -- which happens to be Katie’s favorite color. You should have heard Katie pleading with me to keep the color and not paint over it and -- yeah, she’ll love it!”

They giggled together.

“Well, sis, I can’t wait to see you on Saturday. We’ll have a ball!”

“Yeah, we will! See you soon, sis! I love you lots!”

“You too, Sal! Goodnight!”

“Goodnight!”

* * * * *

When Katie awoke the following morning, she felt rested and cheerful. She felt very relieved that her aunt accepted her entirely and her cousins likely would as well. She felt much better about facing the party at Aunt Franny’s house and this left her heart and mind open to enjoying her first birthday party as a girl. Her mind was filled with thoughts about what she would wear. She knew that she wanted to look extra special and she looked forward to asking Carolyn to help her plan her outfit. Speaking of outfits…

Katie got out of bed and went to her closet. She opened the door and browsed through her pretty things, a smile slowly spreading across her face. She had had a lovely bubble bath before bed the previous night and she still faintly smelled of the lavender bath beads that she used. She needed no shower.

She pulled out white overalls that had cute floral embroidery on the back and chest pockets. She laid them on her bed, returned to her closet, and picked out a powder pink, three-quarter sleeve cotton top with a scoop neck. She put the top next to the overalls and thought about what shoes to wear. Carolyn had given her a nice pair of white Keds sneakers that looked like Mary Janes without straps. She opened her dresser and selected a white pair of knee socks made of soft nylon. While she was there, she grabbed a fresh pair of panties and a padded bra.

She happily dressed herself and put her hair in a simple ponytail using a powder pink scrunchy. She checked herself in the mirror and headed downstairs for breakfast with a big smile on her face.

Carolyn and Sally were already down there making soft-boiled eggs. Sally had gotten up early, gone to a nearby grocery store, and brought home enough groceries to get them started, much to everyone’s delight. She was very glad that the movers’ deal had included the transportation of her car — and that it had arrived in one piece.

“Good morning, Katie. You look just adorable!”

“Yeah, Kate, you look great!”

Katie smiled sweetly.

“Thanks, you two!”

“Want some eggs?”

“Mmm! Yes, please!”

“All right!”

Sally put two more eggs into the boiling water and a few minutes later, they sat down to a nice warm breakfast, with toast, fresh orange juice, and coffee. They discussed their plans for the day — more unpacking — and also talked about taking Katie shopping. Sally was going back out to pick up some paint, brushes, rollers and a few drop cloths. She wanted to repaint the living room while it was still empty and she’d had the movers leave the furniture in the dining room. She mentioned she’d be home by lunch time and if the girls wanted to help her paint it might be really fun.

The Stantons finished their breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen after themselves. Carolyn and Katie went up to Carolyn’s room to hang up her pictures. They gabbed and chatted while they worked, and a couple of hours later, they were done.

As they stood back to admire their work, Katie’s cellphone rang. She returned to her room to answer it and saw Emma’s number on the screen.

“Hi, Emma!”

“Hi, Katie. How’s everything going over there?”

“Pretty well, thanks. We just finished hanging up the pictures in Carolyn’s room.”

“That’s always nice! How’s your room coming along?”

Katie glanced around at her eclectic room with lavender walls and boyish furniture.

“Slowly but surely.”

“Well, that’s good. Anyway, the reason I called is that a good friend of mine is coming to my house for lunch and I thought you might like to join us if you’re available.”

“Really? That sounds great! What time?”

“Come by around noon. Sound good?”

“Yeah, that’s great!”

“Cool! See you soon, then!”

“Yeah, see you soon! Bye!”

“Bye!”

Katie happily skipped back into Carolyn’s room to tell her about her latest conversation with Emma.

“Guess what, Carolyn?”

Carolyn stopped what she was doing and smiled at Katie.

“What?”

“Emma just invited me to have lunch at her house and a good friend of hers is coming over, too!”

“Well, that’s great! Damn, girl, your social life is coming together almost effortlessly.”

“Yeah, it is! I’ve never had this happen before!”

“Well, you’re going to have a lot of fun. Just be careful about giving yourself away.”

“Don’t worry. I plan to be careful about that since I’m not ready for anyone to know yet -- except for Aunt Franny and the girls, of course.”

“Okay. Well, do you want me to put a little make up on you? A couple of pieces of jewelry would be a good idea, too.”

Carolyn headed for her dresser.

“I would love that! Thanks, Carolyn!”

Carolyn shrugged.

“That’s what sisters are for!”

Katie sat down in Carolyn’s desk chair and Carolyn put a silver necklace around her neck. She got out the same silver clip-on hoop earrings and cubic zirconium ring that Katie had worn the previous day and put them on her sister.

“Okay, time for some makeup!”

Katie giggled happily and Carolyn applied lip gloss, a touch of mascara and a dab of eyeliner.

“That ought to do it.”

“Okay!”

Katie went over to Carolyn’s mirror and looked at her makeup. She loved it! They heard keys rattling in the door and went downstairs to give their mother a hand with the painting supplies.

“Hi, girls! I found some very cute colors I want you to have a look at -- well, Katie, look at you all made up and pretty!”

Katie smiled sweetly.

“I’m having lunch with Emma and a good friend of hers across the street.”

“Well, that’s nice, as long as you’re careful about not revealing your personal exploration.”

“Yeah, I told Carolyn that I’m not ready for anyone other than Aunt Franny and her girls to know yet, so you can be sure that I will be very careful.”

“Well, in that case, have fun! What time are you heading over?”

“Noon.”

“Oh, well you better head over there, then! Have fun, sweetie!”

“I will, Mom! Oh, let me grab my cellphone.”

“That’s a good idea.”

Katie went back to her room to get her cellphone and came skipping back down the stairs. She stopped by where Carolyn and their mother were putting down the painting supplies.

“Okay, I’m heading out! Bye!”

“Bye, honey! Be careful crossing the street!”

“Oh, Mom! I’m too old for that!”

Katie rolled her eyes and giggled -- as did Carolyn.

“You’re never too old for that!”

“Okay, bye, you two!”

Katie gave them a little wave and headed for the front door, where she paused before she opened the door. She realized that she hadn’t been outside the house as a girl yet, and she suddenly found herself nervous at the prospect. Well, she was going to be a girl for a good while and she couldn’t stay in the house forever. She took a deep breath, opened the front door, and stepped outside. She quietly closed the door behind her and walked across the street, trying to hold her head high and walk with her legs closer together than she used to.

Moments later, she approached Emma’s front door smiling at how much more real she felt now that she was being herself outside her house. She rang the bell and Emma opened the door, along with her friend, and smiled at Katie.

“Hey, Katie!”

“Hey, Emma!”

Katie gave her a hug.

“Come on in!”

Katie stepped inside and Emma closed the front door behind them.

“Katie, this is my friend Madison, from school.”

“Hi, Madison!”

Katie hugged her.

“Hi, Katie. It’s certainly nice to meet you.”

“You, too, Madison. So you two go to school together? What grade are you going to be in when fall comes?”

“Seventh,” they answered in unison, making them all giggle.

“Me, too!”

“Cool! Do you know where you’re going to school, Katie?”

Katie’s face blanked for a moment.

“Well, actually, my family and I just moved here a couple of days ago, so I don’t know yet!”

Madison was surprised.

“Really? Is a couple of months enough time to apply?”

Katie was definitely in new territory. She figured that her mother had thought about all of this -- she had, too, to some degree. The thing was, she didn’t know where her self-exploration was going to take her or whether she’d be dressed as a boy or a girl on her first day at her new school.

“Gee, I don’t know!”

“It sure would be great if you could come to our school. That would be so neat!”

Katie smiled at Madison.

“It really would be nice to go to a school where I already know two people.”

“Yeah, of course. Well, when you get home, ask your Mom what school she’s thinking of and let us know!”

Katie was feeling somewhat nervous. She wasn’t sure how she should handle it if they asked why she didn’t know what school she would be going to. Nevertheless, she smiled at her new friends.

“I will do that!”

“Okay! Well, let’s eat, shall we?”

“Yeah, sounds good!”

Emma lead the way into her kitchen and got out some bread, deli cuts, condiments and potato chips. She got out a bottle of Diet Coke and poured three glasses while they chatted amicably about moving and its headaches.

“I wonder how in the world your movers lost your clothes, Katie!”

Katie rolled her eyes.

“God, so do I!”

“I mean, the stuff stays on the truck until it gets to the new house, right?”

Madison was one smart girl.

“I would think so,” Katie admitted.

“Hmm... are you sure that your clothes made it onto the truck in the first place?”

Katie thought for a moment as they made their sandwiches.

“Well, I couldn’t guarantee that. We had everything boxed up and waiting in the foyer -- except for the furniture, that is -- so that when the movers came it would all be right there. None of the boxes were that heavy and that house only had one floor -- well, it had a basement, too -- but anyway, it wasn’t that hard. Anyway, after that was done, we checked the house one more time to make sure that everything was right there. My clothes were in a couple of boxes and should have been with the rest of it. I remember leaving them in the foyer. I don’t know what happened!”

“Hmm. That’s so weird. Well, I don’t know how, but I’d bet money that your clothes never made it onto the truck.”

They sat down and began eating. Madison loved to exercise her mind with a good mental challenge.

“Do you remember where you left them in the foyer? Let’s start with that.”

“Right in front of our basement door.”

Madison chuckled.

“Was the door open?”

Katie’s eyes widened as she and Emma began snickering, too.

“Yes! It was open! Maybe my clothes got pushed down the stairs. The boxes were stacked one on top of the other and we were pushing stuff around a lot to keep making room for incoming boxes.”

“I bet that’s exactly what happened. If your basement was dark and the lights were off it would have been easy to overlook them, especially if the boxes landed near the bottom of the stairs.”

“That basement had no windows, so yes, it was pitch dark without the lights. Frankly, it always gave me the creeps. I always felt like I was buried alive down there.”

They shared a giggle and Madison smiled at Katie.

“That would creep me out, too! Anyway, it sounds like you had a lot of boxes.”

“Yeah, too many to count!”

“Making it even easier to overlook those two boxes.”

“I think you’re right, Madison! My clothes must still be in that basement. I mean, we had about ninety-nine thousand boxes or something, so it would have been stupidly easy to overlook them.”

“Yep.”

Madison smiled with satisfaction.

“Well, that’s one mystery solved -- probably. I wonder how the airlines lost your suitcase. In the age of computerized labels and stuff, that’s surprising, too. The labels must not have made it onto your suitcase.”

“Yeah...” Katie thought for a moment as she chewed a bite of her sandwich. “I guess those barcoded tags only work if they get put on the right bags--”

“Exactly,” Madison nodded. “Any idea how they might have confused your bag with another one?”

Katie chuckled.

“That wouldn’t be as hard as you’d think. My suitcase looks just like every other suitcase at pretty much any airport.”

“Okay. Then we’re getting somewhere! Any other ideas how that barcoded tag missed your suitcase?”

“Well, while we were checking in for the flight a skycap took our bags for us and put them on his cart thing. The airport was really busy and he was hurrying a lot and overloading the... cart thing... whatever you call it.”

They giggled.

“Anyway, when he got to the check-in counter, the bags fell off and landed on someone else’s luggage. The luggage that got buried also looks like everyone else’s, so maybe when they printed out my label they stuck it on the wrong bag.”

“Wow. You had the worst luck!”

Katie giggled. Actually, it was great luck as far as Katie was concerned.

“Yeah, tell me about it. Oh, well, I’m just glad we’re here and all of that is over with -- sort of. They’re still trying to find my stuff -- not that the movers will probably succeed.”

They laughed.

“You sure are taking the loss of all of your clothes pretty well! Anyway, welcome to California!”

“Thanks, Madison!”

Satisfied that they had solved both mysteries together, Madison changed the subject. There was another mental challenge tantalizing her.

“Hey, Katie have you ever been to a Pride celebration?”

“Mmm, no what’s that?”

Katie took another bite.

“Well, it’s LGBT Pride. It’s a parade in San Francisco -- and other cities do it, too -- and a bunch of streets are blocked off to traffic. They have food, drinks, bands, and a bunch of stuff -- and in San Francisco, they have all kinds of interesting people, too! Some people like to dress in really interesting ways -- like topless, for instance --”

They snickered at the image.

“-- but that’s not what I really mean. There are gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered people and more. It’s really neat! They have it in San Francisco every year in June.”

Katie was interested.

“That sounds like fun!”

“It is fun,” Madison enthused.

“I’ve been going to that for three years now since I’m a Lesbian.”

“Really? Well, that’s cool!”

“Thanks, Katie!”

Madison smiled at her.

“I mean, I’m only allowed to go to the parade and walk around near Market Street with my Mom during the day, but still. It makes me feel good about myself!”

“That’s cool. I’d love to go to that!”

Katie smiled at her. She wondered about those transgendered people.

“You’re just in time -- the next one is in a couple of weeks.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! You should come with me.”

“I will -- if it’s all right with my Mom -- which it probably will be since we’ll be with your Mom.”

“Cool! I’ll give you more details later.”

“Okay, great!”

Katie had a question she needed to ask. Madison seemed to sense that and remained silent. Emma followed her lead.

“So, um, how do these people get treated by the ones who... well who aren’t LGBT?”

“I haven’t seen any problems. San Francisco is friendly to just about everyone. Anything goes in that town -- and I do mean anything! I just love it! Now, I won’t say that San Francisco is free of the bad stuff. It’s a city -- of course it’s not. But, it is a lot safer here for LGBT people than most other places at least in this country.”

“I’ve gone a couple of times with Madison, too. It really is fun!”

“That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, you’ll love it!”

Katie knew she was skating on thin ice but...

“So do you know anyone else who’s LGBT?”

“A couple of our friends are also lesbians -- oh, and we have two transgendered friends, too. One’s a male-to-female and the other’s a female-to-male.”

Katie’s eyebrows raised themselves. She understood exactly what that meant. She wondered if she might be transgendered herself. Everything about being a girl felt natural and everything about being a boy felt dysfunctional.

“That’s cool! So you two really are open minded!”

Madison chuckled.

“In this part of the world, you’d have to be! But I really do believe in being open-minded anyway -- we both do.”

She gestured at herself and Emma. Madison, still working her challenge, thought about what to ask next and chose her question carefully.

“So, Katie, so did you have any LGBT friends where you used to live?”

Katie took another bite of sandwich to give herself a few seconds to think of how to answer that question. She was beginning to feel nervous. Emma and Madison quickly glanced at each other.

“Well,” Katie chewed a bit more and swallowed. “We moved here from Virginia and they’re not so liberal there. Also, my Dad is a career military officer and we lived on a base, so I never met anyone LGBT back there -- I doubt the military’s very friendly about that -- but believe you me, I am perfectly open to that sort of thing -- probably more than most people!”

Katie hoped that she didn’t say that too emphatically -- or say too much. Oh well, time would tell. It crossed her mind that she might have felt safe about the idea of revealing her secret to Emma and Madison if she only knew what to tell them.

The girls finished their lunch and cleaned up after themselves. Emma and Madison glanced at each other and Madison flickered her eyes upward while looking at Emma, communicating that they should go up to Emma’s room. Emma received her message and turned to Katie.

“Got time to hang out for a while, Katie?”

Katie smiled.

“Yeah, sure!”

She felt some conflict about it because she was feeling nervous but she liked them both and wanted to be friends with them.

“Come on up to my room,” Emma suggested.

“Okay! I’d love to see it!”

“All righty. This way, please!”

Emma led the way and in a few moments they walked into a beautiful pale blue bedroom. They sat on Emma’s bed and Madison suggested that they show Katie the pictures on Emma’s nightstand. Emma reached for her nightstand. She picked up a photo of her, Madison, and three other girls.

“These are most of our other friends. All of our girl friends, anyway.”

“Oh, neat! Can I see, please?”

“Sure! The one in the middle is Rachel. The next one to the right is Alex, and the one on the far right is Cyndi.”

Madison executed her next gambit.

“Can you tell which one is the transgendered one?”

Katie looked back at the photo and all she could see was five cute girls.

“Hmm... nope, I can’t tell. Which one is she?”

“Rachel, the one in the middle.”

Katie studied Rachel’s face.

“Wow, I would never have thought she was transgendered!”

Katie was impressed.

“She looks great -- how long has she been full-time?”

“Three years.”

“Wow. How did she figure out that she was a girl?”

Madison answered the question -- and picked up on Katie’s line of inquiry.

“Well, she always knew. She always wanted to wear pretty girls’ clothes instead of boys’ clothes, she always wanted her hair long, and pink has always been her favorite color -- just to give you a few examples. The whole ‘boy thing’ just never worked with her.”

Katie nodded with understanding -- that Madison noted.

“I’ve always wondered if it’s easier or harder to find out so early.”

“That’s a good question. I think it probably depends on the person, the family, the location, you know.”

Katie slowly nodded.

“Yeah... well Rachel sure looks like a girl.”

Katie handed the picture back to Emma and noticed another one on the nightstand of Rachel, Emma and Madison.

“Is that her, too?”

Emma nodded.

“Yup, it sure is!”

“Oh wow, can I see that one, please?”

“Of course!”

Emma handed the picture to Katie and Katie studied it. The picture was taken at Christmas time and the three girls were wearing cute Christmas dresses and pantyhose.

“That was just taken last Christmas.”

“All of you look so pretty!”

“Thanks, Katie!”

Katie found herself wishing she could have been there with them, dressed up as beautifully as they were.

“You’re welcome!” Katie looked up at Madison for a moment and returned her eyes to the photo. “I-I would love to meet y-your other friends sometime.”

Katie tried to smile pleasantly.

“I’m sure they’d love it, too!”

Madison smiled warmly at her. She hesitated to pry further and chose an indirect question next -- but just the right one nonetheless.

“Hey Katie, um... you seem pretty interested in Rachel. Are you a lesbian, too?”

Madison asked Katie gently, but Katie’s nerves kicked into high gear. How the hell should she answer that? It depended on what her true gender really was -- and Katie didn’t even know that! She swallowed.

“I-I do prefer girls... if that answers your question.”

Katie tried to smile again, but she knew that her smile wasn’t fully hiding her nerves. She began to consider going home. She didn’t know where this conversation was headed -- and she wasn’t entirely sure that she wanted to know.

Madison gently put her arm around Katie.

“Katie, are you okay?”

Madison could feel Katie faintly trembling.

“Y-yes, um, I am, it’s just um...”

Katie found herself at the point where her brain wasn’t functioning well enough to keep thinking up ways to evade their questions -- or perhaps she was evading the answers -- and she felt like telling them everything. She didn’t know what to do and she was becoming very emotional. Her eyes were beginning to water.

“I-I just... d-don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling. At least, not yet.”

“That’s what Rachel once said -- and I said the same thing to my mother a few years back.”

Katie looked up at Madison as tears began to spill from her eyes. All at once, Katie began to cry. Madison drew her into her arms and held her for a few minutes. Emma quietly closed her bedroom door and got her box of tissues from her desk. She sat down next to Katie and held onto the tissues until Katie was ready for them.

Katie was ready to talk and she pulled back from Madison, smiling at her gratefully. Emma handed Katie a tissue and Katie gratefully took it. She began to talk as she dried her eyes.

“I-I think I’m transgendered. Biologically, I’m a boy, but I hate even thinking about that. I was actually glad when they lost my clothes -- my boy clothes, that is. My girl clothes were with my sister’s stuff -- because they used to be hers -- and her stuff all made it. My family and I decided that I might as well use the opportunity to do some self-exploration and I was so glad I could just be myself for a while. Anyway, my legal name is Kamrin, but a few years ago I asked my family to start calling me KD -- my first two initials -- because KD sounds like Katie. I didn’t want to be called Kamrin because Kamrin is also a boy’s name.”

Katie paused for a moment.

“Wow, there’s just so much to tell...”

Katie decided to start from the beginning.

“I have always been really feminine...”

Katie told them everything -- and it felt really good to do that. She had gone from closeted while her father was in her life, to free after she moved and began living as Katie, to closeted when she first met Emma and her mother and now she felt free again.

Katie ended her story by telling them about the birthday celebration at her Aunt Franny’s house on Saturday.

“Happy birthday, Katie!”

Madison gave Katie another hug.

“Thank you! Madison, I would love it if you could come -- and I would really love to meet your other friends, too -- especially Rachel! Will you invite them for me?”

Madison smiled warmly at Katie.

“Of course I will -- and trust, me -- Rachel will be there! I’m not sure about the others, but you can plan on Rachel.”

“Good!”

Katie’s cellphone began ringing.

“That’s probably my Mom. Let me get that.”

“Okay.”

Katie checked the display and saw Mom’s Cell displayed on the screen. She talked with her mother briefly and hung up.

“Well, I have to go. My Mom wants me to look at some color samples she picked out for the living room. Frankly, she doesn’t know that you know about me and she’s probably just giving me an excuse to come home in case I needed one. But anyway, do you want to meet my Mom and my sister before you leave, Madison?”

Madison smiled at Katie again.

“Yeah! Sure!”

“Okay, let’s go!”

They left Emma’s bedroom, headed down the stairs and paused by the front door long enough for Emma to let her mother know where she was going. When she was done, they went across the street where Katie unlocked the front door and admitted her guests.

“Try to ignore the state of the house right now!”

“No problem.”

Katie brought them into the living room where Sally was painting a small patch of pastel green on the wall.

“Hi, Mom!”

“Oh, hi, Katie. Have you made another friend already?”

Sally smiled warmly at Madison.

“Yeah, Mom. This is Madison. She’s a friend of Emma’s from school. Madison, this is my Mom--”

“Hey Katie -- and hello, you two!”

“--and that’s my sister, Carolyn. Carolyn, this is Madison.”

“Hi, Madison! Wow, Katie, your social life is almost building itself!”

“Yeah, right?”

Katie noticed Sally and Carolyn glancing at each other.

“Oh, by the way, Mom. I told Emma and Madison about me. I hope that’s okay.”

For that, neither Sally nor Carolyn had been prepared. Sally put down her paint brush and smiled at Katie.

“Well, sweetheart, that’s your information and it’s your decision who you tell. It’s okay with me. I can tell it went well, though!”

“Very well! Madison and Emma have a transgendered friend named Rachel and I invited Madison and Rachel to my birthday party, if that’s okay -- oh, and their other two friends, too.”

Sally smiled wider.

“Oh, sure, it’s okay. You know your Aunt Franny. The more, the merrier! We’d love to have you all! Just let me know who can make it!”

Sally was wondering exactly what Katie told her new friends, until Katie answered her question.

“Great! I really want to talk to Rachel. I’m hoping that talking with her might help me figure myself out. Mom and Carolyn, I think I’m probably a girl, but I still don’t feel sure. I have this feeling like I should to be able to prove it or something.”

“Well, I’m sure it would be a big help to talk to Rachel -- I’d always hoped you’d be able to find at least one friend like you, so I think this is wonderful!”

Katie beamed at her friends.

“So how did it come about that you revealed yourself?”

“Well...”

Katie told them about the pictures in Emma’s bedroom, the questions that Madison asked and the ways in which Katie responded to these things.

Sally nodded with a smile still on her face, to Katie’s relief.

“So, Emma, does your mother know yet?”

“No, not yet -- and don’t worry, I’ll let you tell her when you’re ready.”

“Okay.”

Madison’s cellphone began ringing and she answered it. Her mother was letting her know that she would be at Emma’s house in a few minutes. Madison hung up and turned back to her friends.

“That was my mother. She’s almost here, so I should go back to Emma’s and wait with her -- but before I go, Katie, I want to give you my phone number.”

Katie smiled at her.

“Okay, Madison. I think we have something to write on in the kitchen. Come on!”

Katie led the way to the kitchen, where she opened a cabinet on one side, just inside the door. Inside she found a post-it pad and a few pens. She grabbed a pen and the pad and handed it to Madison.

“Okay, that’s my cellphone number.”

Madison removed the top sheet from the pad and handed it to Katie.

“Thanks, Madison!”

Katie wrote down her cellphone number and handed it to Madison.

“Here’s mine!”

Madison smiled at Katie.

“Thanks, Katie! If you need to talk, if you feel alone, if you have a nightmare or anything then promise me you’ll call me -- no matter what time it is -- okay?”

Katie’s head tilted to one side as she smiled at Madison and gratefully hugged her.

“Thanks, Madison. I promise I will -- and I never break a promise!”

“Good!”

“Madison it was so great to meet you! I can’t wait to meet your friends! It will be so much fun!”

Madison smiled at Katie and hugged her.

“I look forward to it, too.”

“Bye, Katie. See you soon!”

Katie and Emma hugged.

“I’ll walk you to the door.”

“It was wonderful to meet you, Madison.”

“You, too, Mrs. Stanton -- and you, too, Carolyn!”

“Nice to meet you, too, Madison!”

“Bye!”

They walked to the front door and Katie opened it for her friends. They hugged one more time and parted ways.

END OF PART 1

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Note to Kenny

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

17,500 < Novella < 40,000 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Hair Salon / Long Hair / Wigs / Rollers

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

“What the hell...?”

He knew that he hadn’t seen that piece of paper before, and it hadn’t been in his locker when he closed it up the previous afternoon. Someone had shoved it between the venting slats after he left the previous day or before he arrived that morning.

“Hey, you two!”

“Hey Kenny!”

The three of them made their usual rendezvous at the front entrance of the school. Kenny James had known his friends, Maggie and Jena, since kindergarten and their friendships had blossomed ever since. Kenny’s feelings for Maggie, however, had long since transcended friendship and risen high into the realm of the romantic.

“Are we still on for Friday night?”

“Yup. We’re getting started at four o’clock. Kenny, did you line up a ride yet?”

“Yeah, I’m riding over with Jena.”

“Excellent. Jena, you have the address, right?”

“Of course I do!”

Maggie giggled.

“Of course you do!”

“I’m really looking forward to this, Maggie. I’ve never been to your house before!”

“Really? You haven’t?”

“No, thanks to the rules regarding boys in your house.”

This was news to Jena.

“What rule is that, Maggie?”

“No boys are allowed while Mom is out of the house -- and she's out of the house a lot.”

“Really? Well, I guess that’s typical of parents, right?”

“Yeah, unfortunately it is!”

They arrived at a hallway full of lockers.

“All right, I’ll see you girls at lunch!”

“See you, Kenny!”

They parted ways to visit their lockers and get whatever they would need for class. The lockers at their school had two tiers, a lower tier and an upper tier. Kenny’s locker was in the upper tier. As Kenny opened his locker, he saw a folded up piece of paper sitting on top of the books in his locker. His name was written across the front in large block letters.

“What the hell...?”

He unfolded the piece of paper and found a note written on it. He also found a key which had been folded up inside the note. He read the note, which was written in the same block letters:

KENNY --

WE HAVE A FULL FRONTAL NAKED PHOTO OF MAGGIE. THE PHOTO IS EXCELLENT QUALITY. IF YOU DON’T WANT THAT PHOTO E-MAILED TO EVERY STUDENT AT THIS SCHOOL THEN YOU WILL FOLLOW ALL OF OUR INSTRUCTIONS WITHOUT FAIL.

BEFORE YOU LEAVE SCHOOL ON FRIDAY YOU ARE TO GO TO LOCKER NUMBER 432 WHERE YOU WILL FIND A DUFFLE BAG, A SEALED ENVELOPE, AND A PIECE OF PAPER WITH AN ADDRESS ON IT. YOU ARE NOT TO OPEN THE ENVELOPE. AFTER YOU RETRIEVE THE DUFFLE BAG, THE ENVELOPE AND THE ADDRESS, YOU ARE TO GO HOME IMMEDIATELY AND PUT ON EVERYTHING IN THE DUFFLE BAG. INCLUDED IN THE DUFFLE BAG ARE INSTRUCTIONS ON GETTING YOURSELF DRESSED. YOU ARE TO FOLLOW THEM WITHOUT EXCEPTION!

YOU WILL NEED TRANSPORTATION ON FRIDAY. FOR THIS REASON ALONE, YOU MAY TELL YOUR SISTER ABOUT YOUR INSTRUCTIONS. HOWEVER, YOU AND YOUR SISTER ARE NOT TO TELL ANYONE ELSE ABOUT ANY OF THIS -- ESPECIALLY MAGGIE.

IF YOU’RE SMART -- AND IF YOU CARE ABOUT MAGGIE AT ALL -- YOU WILL DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD.

END OF MESSAGE

The color was completely drained from Kenny’s face. He put the note and key in a small pocket in his backpack and zipped the pocket shut. Was this for real? Was someone about to jump out and laugh at him? Did someone really have a naked picture of Maggie that they were prepared to e-mail to the entire school? The only thing Kenny knew with certainty was that he cared about Maggie more than anything else in the universe and he was going to do exactly as he was told.

Kenny spent his morning unable to concentrate. His classes no longer mattered to him. All that mattered was that Maggie would suffer horrendously if Kenny didn’t come through for her. He tried to calm himself down -- without much success -- before he had lunch with Maggie and Jena.

He met up with Maggie and Jena at their usual table. He was clearly instructed not to tell anyone -- especially Maggie -- about the note or the naked photo of her. He fought like hell to stay calm. He smiled at his friends as he approached their table and sat down.

“Hi, girls!”

“Hey, Kenny!”

Maggie smiled at him, but her smile faltered as she paused for a moment.

“Is everything all right?”

That girl never missed a thing! Jena got up to use the bathroom and Kenny tried to broaden his smile.

“Yeah, everything is just fine. Why do you ask?”

“Well, something is obviously bothering you.”

Oh, Christ! Kenny had to think of something fast!

“What gives you that idea?”

“Kenny, please tell me what’s wrong.”

She put one hand on his, making his heart throb in his chest. Kenny took Maggie’s hands and looked her in the eyes.

“Maggie, do you trust me?”

She looked at him nervously.

“What kind of a question is that? Of course I trust you!”

Kenny relaxed a bit.

“Okay. I really need you to trust me right now.”

“Trust you about what?”

“Trust me that everything is fine.”

“Kenny, it’s crystal clear to me that everything is not fine. Did something happen this morning?”

Kenny had no idea how to answer her. He didn’t want to lie to Maggie, but he couldn’t tell her the truth, either. He couldn’t risk having that naked photo e-mailed to everyone!

“I’ll take your silence as a yes, something did happen.”

Shit! Maggie knew something happened and she wasn’t going to let it go.

“Kenny, what happened?”

Leave it to Maggie to nail him with the one question he was hoping she wouldn’t ask.

“They warned me not to say anything. You don’t know what they’re going do to you–“

Kenny clamped one hand over his mouth to shut himself up -- but it was too late. Maggie’s face took on an expression of alarm.

“They’re going to do something to me?? Kenny, what are they going to do — and who are you talking about??”

Kenny looked at Maggie helplessly. He felt awful. He could feel the fear in her face and in her voice. He was desperately worried about Maggie being badly humiliated and he didn’t feel at all sure that he could stop it.

“Maggie, they explicitly warned me not to tell you--”

“Kenny, if something bad is going to happen to me then you have to tell me what it is so we can do something!”

Kenny desperately tried to think of what to say. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

“Kenny, for god sake! Tell me!”

Maggie’s alarm was steadily escalating -- and her voice was beginning to quaver. Kenny was on the verge of tears. He closed his eyes for a moment to try to steady his nerves and then he looked into Maggie’s eyes again. His voice was tremulous.

“Maggie, please! I can’t say anything! If I could I would -- you know I would -- but I honestly can’t!”

Kenny could scarcely hold himself together.

“Kenny, I can’t believe you're screwing me over like this! I thought we were friends!”

Kenny was horrified.

“We are friends! Close friends!”

“Close?? Is this what you call close?? Refusing to tell me what’s going to happen to me so I can’t do a fucking thing about it?? That is not how friends treat each other, Kenny!!”

A few heads were beginning to turn in their direction. A single tear escaped from Kenny’s eye and he quickly wiped it before anybody saw it. Jena was on her way back from the bathroom and she had noticed the commotion. She had an expression of concern on her face and she was hurrying to return to the table.

“Maggie, I don’t have a choice!”

“What??”

“Maggie, if you had any idea--”

“Like hell you don’t have a choice!”

More heads turned.

“Maggie, if you only knew how much--”

“Kenny?!”

Tears began to leak from Maggie’s eyes and each one tugged mercilessly on Kenny’s heartstrings. He was overwhelmed into silence.

“Kenny, how...?”

Maggie was becoming too choked up to speak.

“How can...?”

She trailed off again and Jena was back.

“What’s going on? Kenny, what in the hell did you say to Maggie??”

Maggie opened her mouth one more time to speak but couldn’t.

“Kenny, what did you say to her, you fucking asshole?”

Jena spat venom at Kenny, turning a few dozen more heads in the process. Maggie gathered up her things and glanced at Jena who instantly understood that Maggie was leaving and wanted her to come. The girls picked up their garbage, turned around, and left.

Kenny grabbed his own garbage and his backpack. He dumped his garbage and headed for the nearest restroom. There were two unisex, single-person bathrooms not far from the dining room. Kenny heard crying coming from one of them and prayed like hell that it wasn’t Maggie -- but he knew, intuitively, that it was.

He went into the other bathroom, locked the door and burst into tears. He was worried about the girl he loved more than anything being hurt. He was scared that he would not be able to save Maggie from being hurt. He felt awful that she was now terrified and obviously felt that he had betrayed her. He was worried about losing her. He felt awful about her humiliation in the dining room and his own humiliation in the dining room was starkly palpable as well. It was all just too much.

* * * * *

“Hello?”

“We have to call it off. All of it. Now!”

“Why? What happened?”

“Kenny and Maggie had a big fight right in the middle of the dining room and Maggie left in tears. I saw the whole thing. This is going to kill their friendship if it hasn’t already -- and that was not part of the plan! You know how much Kenny loves Maggie.”

“Yes, and I also know how much Maggie loves Kenny so I don’t want their friendship to die any more than you do.”

“Right! So we’re calling it off!”

“No, no, no, wait, just stop and think for a sec, okay?”

“What in the fuck is there to think about??”

“Think about this: If the situation really is that bad then there’s only one way we can fix it -- and I think you know what that is.”

“Oh shit!”

“So you agree that we have to go through with this?”

“Yes! I agree!”

“Okay, good. I’m telling you, this is going to work!”

“Well it fucking better!!”

* * * * *

Kenny had always been a very emotional person, emotional to a level he had seen mostly in girls -- but this was not the only thing he had in common with girls. For that matter, he had far more in common with girls than he did with boys. His favorite color was lavender. He preferred the company of girls, preferred their ways of doing things and made friends more easily with girls -- until the debacle in the dining room, anyhow. Kenny’s hair was as long as that of most girls and he loved to dress in girls’ clothes.

He started on his sixth birthday. He had a party and invited a mob of other five and six year old boys and girls. His parents served cake and ice cream and they had all sorts of fun. After Kenny’s guests left, Kenny found a small duffle bag near the front door that had been left by one of the girls who had just come from a ballet lesson. It had a small ballerina embroidered on one side. He opened it up and found a couple of pairs of pink ballet tights and two leotards. The leotards were lavender, his favorite color! With a big goofy smile on his face he brought the duffle bag and its contents to his room and closed the door. He removed all of his clothes and slipped on a pair of the tights. He wrestled with them a bit but he got them on. Then, still high on excitement, he pulled on a lavender leotard over the tights. When he was done, he left his room and knocked on Tracy’s door. When she opened her door, Kenny smiled excitedly and said, “Look, Tracy! I’m a girl!” Tracy erupted into laughter. Kenny’s hair had grown almost to his chin even then, and he really did look like a girl.

Tracy asked where Kenny had gotten the leotard and tights. Kenny excitedly told her about the duffle bag he had found near the door. Tracy giggled and suggested that Kenny take off the leotard and tights because they didn’t belong to him, but Kenny didn’t want to. He wanted to be a girl! As a compromise, Tracy suggested that she dress up Kenny in some of her old clothes instead. To this, Kenny agreed. Five minutes later, Kenny was dressed in a pair of panties, a sundress, and a pair of sandals. Tracy put barrettes in his hair as well. For the next hour, Kenny remained dressed as a girl -- until they heard their mother calling for them.

Tracy tried to convince Kenny to remove the girls’ clothing he was wearing but he begged to keep it on. Tracy could hear that Kenny was becoming emotional and she proposed that she would dress him up again very soon if he would take off the dress. Kenny relented. Tracy had him back to “boy mode” and had the leotard and tights back in the duffle bag before their mother found out.

The very next day, Kenny knocked on Tracy’s door and asked to be dressed up as a girl again. Tracy agreed and dressed him up in the same dress, at his request.

Over the years, Tracy continued to dress him up from time to time -- almost always at his request. Eventually it became clear to Tracy that it was not just about the clothes -- Kenny was a girl!

* * * * *

Kenny tried to pull himself together. He was perfectly comfortable with his emotions but the other boys at his school would give him endless trouble if they saw him crying. He already took quite a bit of razzing about his shoulder length hair. Throwing tears into the mix would only make it worse.

Kenny ran some warm water in the sink, dampened a paper towel, and cleaned up his face. He threw the paper towel in the trash can and stared at himself in the mirror. He could still hear Maggie crying in the other bathroom and it hurt to hear her crying like that. Kenny silently promised Maggie that he would pull through this for her and that he would make goddamn sure that photo didn’t get out.

A small knock issued from the door.

“Kenny? It’s me, Tracy. Are you okay?”

Evidently, Kenny’s sister Tracy was aware of the dining room disaster already. Kenny unlocked the door and gestured for her to come in.

“Kenny, what happened in there?”

Kenny closed and locked the door. He gave a long sigh before he replied.

“She hates my guts.”

“Oh, Kenny, I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Then I guess you didn’t hear our conversation.”

Tracy’s eyebrows went up.

“Uh oh. Was it really that bad?”

“I don’t even know if Maggie and I are still friends -- or Jena. Does that sound bad?”

“Oh, God! That is bad!”

Tracy hugged her little sister. Suddenly they heard the sound of a piece of paper sliding under the bathroom door. Kenny winced.

“Oh, Jesus Christ, not another goddamn note!”

“Hang on, Kenny, let’s just see what it says.”

Tracy went over and picked up the piece of paper. The piece of paper was folded up and had Kenny’s name on it. Tracy handed it to him.

“This ought to be loads of fun.”

Kenny unfolded the piece of paper and found a note addressed to him.

Kenny --

It hurt me very deeply that you wouldn’t tell me what’s going to happen to me. I thought I knew you. I thought I could trust you. I thought you cared about me. I guess I was wrong.

I’m writing this to tell you that you are no longer welcome at my party on Friday night. I am sorry but I think it’s for the best. I think that we should both move on. Maybe someday I will understand, but... I just don’t think I can.

Maggie

“Well, that’s it. It’s over. We’re done.”

Kenny burst into tears again. Tracy took the letter from him and read it.

“Oh shit! God, that must hurt. Kenny, I’m so sorry. I know how much you love her.”

She hugged him again and let him cry on her shoulder for a while. When Kenny pulled himself together for the second time, he spoke meekly.

“Oh well, I can’t make it to the party anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

Kenny opened his backpack, took out the note he found in his locker, and wordlessly handed it to his sister. Tracy read it while he waited.

“Well, Jesus fucking Christ! No wonder you didn’t want to tell her!”

“Yeah! There’s no way I can risk that!”

“Well, hell, Kenny, I know how hard it must have been not to tell Maggie, but I really think you’re right not to fuck around with this. You did the right thing and I’m proud of you. I mean, what they’re threatening is easily possible. You know how the school has an email address that automatically forwards all incoming messages to every student at school. Whoever is doing this can easily compose a single email with the photo attached and send it to that address. That’s all they have to do. I mean, my God, what if somebody posts that photo on the internet?”

Kenny looked stricken.

“Oh my God, I didn’t even think of that!”

Tracy hugged him again.

“I am going to do everything I can to help both of you, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Tracy. At least I can still save her.”

Kenny sighed heavily.

“Yeah, that’s what we need to focus on now.”

Tracy rubbed Kenny’s back with one hand.

“Look, Kenny, why don’t I drive you home today, okay? I’ll meet you out front?”

“Thanks, Tracy.”

He hugged his sister one more time.

* * * * *

The rest of Kenny’s day went by in a funk. All he could think about was losing Maggie and hoping to God he could stop the naked picture from being emailed to the entire school -- and possibly posted on the internet.

Kenny and Maggie had several classes together. He would look over at her with utter heartbreak in his face. She would glance at him and look away abruptly. A few times, Jena glared at him.

At the end of Kenny’s last class, he gathered his things, stopped by his locker and grabbed whatever he would need for his homework -- not that he would be able to concentrate. When he was done, he trudged toward the front entrance.

On his way, he noticed locker number 432 on his left. The locker had no lock on it. It appeared to be unused. He wondered what the hell the key was for. He reached out one hand to open the locker and see if anything was inside it, but he stopped before his fingers touched the cold metal handle. They never said he couldn’t open the locker before Friday, but he decided not to risk it. At least he knew exactly where to find locker number 432. That would come in handy later. He turned and made his way to the front entrance where he met up with his sister.

“Hi, Kenny.”

She hugged him again.

“Hi, sis. Let’s just go, okay?”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

They walked down the school’s front steps and headed for Tracy’s car. Kenny could see Maggie and Jena getting into another car out front. It hurt just to look at Maggie. Maggie turned around and saw Kenny and Tracy walking towards Tracy’s car. With a hurt expression on her face, Maggie turned her back on Kenny. Maggie got into the car after Jena and was driven away. Kenny felt empty and depressed. He climbed into Tracy’s car and they drove home in silence.

They went upstairs to their rooms and Kenny paused with his hand on his doorknob. He looked over at Tracy.

“Hey, Tracy?”

She stopped and looked back at him.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for the ride.”

She smiled at him.

“You’re welcome.”

That reminded Kenny of another consideration.

“Hey, Tracy?”

“I’m still here.”

“They, um... they said I would need transportation on Friday night. I don’t suppose you could give me a ride?”

“Of course I will. I don’t want to see Maggie humiliated either -- and I’m not about to make you face this alone.”

“Thanks, sis.”

“No problem at all!”

Kenny turned to go to his room. He dropped his backpack on his desk chair, hung his coat on the back of his door and lay down on his bed to wallow. Tracy knocked on his door.

“Hey Kenny?”

“Yeah?”

“Come in my room for a sec?”

“Sure.”

He pushed himself up from his bed, and followed Tracy to her room.

“Have a seat on the bed.”

“Okay.”

Kenny made himself comfortable on the bed. Tracy closed the bedroom door and sat next to him.

“Kenny, are you really going to do whatever they tell you to on Friday?”

“Yes, I am,” Kenny answered without hesitation.

“No matter what they want you to do?”

He looked at his hands as he thought for a moment and Tracy waited for him to answer. He nodded.

“Yes, anything. I will do anything to save Maggie from this, even if we’re not friends anymore. Hell, I would walk naked down the middle of the fucking freeway if I thought it would save her. Saving Maggie is all I care about.”

He paused for a second and Tracy had no idea what to say. Kenny stared miserably out the window.

“I have no idea where I will be going on Friday night. For all I know they could be sending me out of town somewhere. I have no idea who I will be talking to, or what will happen to me. Still... I just plain don’t care. If I have to suffer so that Maggie doesn’t, then so be it. I’ll do it. That’s what real love is, you know.”

He looked back at Tracy.

“You’re right.” Tracy paused. “You know, Kenny, Maggie doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.”

Suddenly, Tracy’s face took on a look of resolve.

“You know what else?”

Kenny looked over at her.

“What?”

“I am going to drive you to Maggie’s house as soon as you’re done with whatever you’re doing on Friday night. We will sit on her front stairs until she opens the door and hears you out. Then she’ll understand. She has to!”

Tracy sounded hopeful.

“Um, Tracy?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll still be wearing whatever they put in that duffle bag, you know!”

Tracy considered Kenny’s point for a moment.

“Well, it can only help your case to show Maggie what you had to wear to save her.”

“What if it’s something ridiculous?”

“Then it will make an even stronger case in your favor.”

“Hmm... I guess it would. Well, I’m going to wear whatever it is and go wherever they tell me to. If it helps Maggie, then I don’t care what I have to wear. I don’t care if it’s a neon green chicken suit. I don’t even care if someone points a gun in my face.”

* * * * *

Thursday came and went in a total blur. Maggie refused to talk to Kenny, making his day all the more dreary, not that Maggie’s appeared to be any better, judging by the looks on her face.

At lunchtime, he attempted to sit down with Maggie and Jena like he always did. Maggie saw him coming. With her face completely devoid of expression, Maggie gathered her lunch as though she were going to pick it up and move if Kenny sat down. Jena caught on quickly and did the same. Kenny stopped in his tracks and stared at Maggie until she glared at him and Jena gave him the finger. For the first time since he’d known Maggie and Jena, Kenny sat down at an empty table -- with his back to them. Luckily, Tracy noticed and joined him.

After trudging his way through the rest of his day, he rode home with Tracy again.

* * * * *

“Hello?”

“It’s me. Do you have the duffle bag ready?”

“Yeah, it’s ready. I found everything we needed. Do you have the envelope and the address?”

“Yes, they’re ready.”

“Okay. What time do you want to meet tomorrow?”

“7:30 am. I want to be sure we’re gone before Kenny gets there.”

“Okay, that’s probably a good idea. 7:30 am tomorrow at locker number 432?”

“Yeah. Do you have the key and padlock?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Okay, then. We’re all set.”

“Tomorrow is going to be awesome!”

“I don’t think any of us will ever forget it!”

* * * * *

Friday was no better than Thursday. Maggie continued to avoid him and Kenny gave up trying. At lunch time, Kenny looked for Maggie and Jena only so that he could sit clear across the room from them. He didn’t bother to approach them.

He made the effort to concentrate in his classes but it was a lost cause. With each passing minute, he became more nervous about events to come.

Finally, his last class was finished. He wearily made his way to locker number 432 to find out what he would be wearing that night. Tracy met him at the locker. She remembered from the note that it was number 432. They found a padlock on the locker. Kenny pulled the key out of his backpack.

“I guess that’s what this key is for.”

“I guess. Are you ready for this?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Kenny was clearly not ready but that was not going to stop him. He unlocked the locker and found a duffle bag -- and nothing else.

“What the fuck? Where are the envelope and the address?? I have to have the envelope and the address!!”

“The only place they could be is inside the duffle bag.”

Kenny glanced at Tracy.

“You’re right. They must be in there.”

Kenny started to unzip the duffle bag and stopped with his hand on the zipper. Slowly, he let go of the zipper and stared at the duffle bag.

“What is it, Kenny?”

“I’m not sure I want to know what I’m wearing tonight.”

“I can understand that. Allow me.”

Tracy unzipped the duffle bag.

“Here they are!”

“Thank God!”

Kenny was flooded with relief as Tracy took out a small manila envelope and a pink piece of paper with an address on it. She read the address and recited it to Kenny.

“749 Magnolia Terrace. I know where that is.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, it’s only about ten minutes from here. Good, that will give us more time to make you look right.”

“Yeah. Great. So what am I wearing tonight?”

Tracy looked at him for a moment and waited for a couple other students to pass before answering.

“Girls’ clothes.”

Kenny felt much better about his outfit for the evening, but not relieved.

“Well, it’s a hell of a lot better than a neon green chicken suit.”

Kenny seemed nervous about wearing the girls’ clothes, even though he had been wearing girls’ clothes for some time. Tracy picked up on it.

“Kenny are you feeling ready to...” She glanced around before continuing. “...to be yourself outside the house?”

“No, not at all, but I don’t care and it doesn’t matter. It’s the only way to save Maggie and I’m doing it.”

Kenny paused and looked up at Tracy.

“Take me home and dress me up. Let’s do this right.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

“Mr. James! Where do you think you’re going with that duffle bag?”

Kenny’s eyes flew wide open and he turned around to face the teacher who had just stopped him.

“Ms. Greenwich, it’s my duffle bag.”

“Oh, come now, Kenny, I saw you take it out of a locker which we both know is not yours.”

“But it is my duffle bag! Look!”

He quickly unzipped the duffle bag and he showed Ms. Greenwich his name written on the outside of the envelope.

“You would have me believe those are yours?”

Kenny looked where Ms. Greenwich was pointing and saw to his horror that the girls’ clothes were showing. Kenny gasped and Tracy put one hand over her mouth.

“I suppose it would explain your hair, Mr. James.”

Kenny stuffed the envelope back in the duffle bag and quickly zipped it shut. As he did so, he heard the sound of ripping paper.

“Oh fuck!!”

Kenny shrieked in genuine horror as he gaped at the duffle bag.

“Kenny James! Report to my office in five minutes!”

Ms. Greenwich turned and stalked off toward her office.

“Like hell! Run, Tracy!”

They sprinted for the front door, ran for Tracy’s car, jumped in, and drove away with the tires screeching. While they drove, Kenny unzipped the duffle bag to find out what had torn.

“I hope I didn’t rip the envelope -- I’m not supposed to open it!”

Much to his relief, the envelope was intact.

“Thank God! The envelope’s fine.”

Kenny and Tracy shared a sigh of relief. Kenny found what had torn. It was the set of instructions they had put in the duffle bag.

“Here’s the next set of instructions. That’s what got ripped.”

“Uh oh, can you still read it?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Kenny read them out loud for Tracy.

KENNY --

YOU ARE TO WEAR EVERYTHING IN THE DUFFLE BAG. YOU ARE TO SHAVE YOUR LEGS. YOU ARE TO PIERCE YOUR EARS. YOU ARE TO WEAR ALL OF THE FOLLOWING:

A NECKLACE, ANY STYLE
A PAIR OF EARRINGS, ANY STYLE
ONE RING, ANY STYLE
A GIRL’S WATCH
A PURSE, YOUR CHOICE
LIPSTICK, YOUR CHOICE
MASCARA, YOUR CHOICE
EYELINER, YOUR CHOICE
PERFUME, YOUR CHOICE
NAIL POLISH, YOUR CHOICE

BY NOW, YOU HAVE THE ADDRESS ON A PINK SLIP OF PAPER. YOU ARE TO SHOW UP AT THAT ADDRESS AT EXACTLY SIX O’CLOCK PM TONIGHT (FRIDAY NIGHT). YOU ARE TO HAVE ALL OF THE NOTES WE GAVE YOU IN YOUR PURSE WHEN YOU ARRIVE. YOU ARE TO RING THE DOORBELL. YOU ARE TO OPEN THE ENVELOPE AFTER YOU HAVE RUNG THE DOORBELL AND BEFORE THE DOOR IS ANSWERED. YOU ARE TO PLACE THE ENVELOPE IN THE PURSE BEFORE THE DOOR OPENS. YOU ARE TO DELIVER THE CONTENTS OF THE ENVELOPE TO WHOMEVER ANSWERS THE DOOR. YOU ARE TO POLITELY SAY, “HI. I’M JENNIE. THESE ARE FOR YOU.”

THERE WILL BE ONE FINAL INSTRUCTION IN THE ENVELOPE. YOU ARE TO COMPLETE THE FINAL INSTRUCTION BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE -- AND WE DO MEAN ANYTHING.

END OF MESSAGE

Tracy’s eyebrows went up.

“You have to have your ears pierced, eh?”

“Looks that way. Where do I do that?”

“There’s a place I know where they’ll do it for you, but...”

“What? Just say it. I’ll do it.”

“I was just wondering if you’d rather do it in boy mode or girl mode.”

“Hmmm. Girl mode. Can we do it on the way to this mystery address?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Okay, then that’s the plan.”

Tracy parked her car in front of their house and they went inside.

“What time is it?”

“Four o’clock. You’d better get moving. Hop in the shower and shave your legs. I have some shaving lotion in there. Use it.”

“Okay!”

Kenny handed her the duffle bag.

“I’ll put the outfit on my bed. Come on in when you’re done.”

“Gotcha.”

Kenny went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He noticed a shower cap and he carefully put it on over his hair. There was no time for blow drying. He found Tracy’s shaving lotion and noticed, to his delight, that it smelled lightly of lavender. He didn’t have much leg hair to shave and he finished in no time. He quickly bathed himself using Tracy’s body wash just to be on the safe side. The body wash smelled of lavender, like the shaving cream. Kenny found the fragrance of lavender relaxed him -- and he needed all of the relaxation he could get.

Kenny finished his shower, dried himself off and wrapped the towel around himself just under his armpits. He dropped his clothes in the hamper and went to Tracy’s room.

“Okay, let’s get me dressed.”

He looked at Tracy’s bed and saw his outfit for the night laid out on the bedspread. He saw a knee-length denim skirt, a black leather belt, a lavender turtleneck shirt, a purple sweater, two packages of off-white sheer pantyhose, a pair of panties, a bra, a pair of black girls’ shoes and a lavender headband.

“I guess, in a nut shell, they want you dressed as a girl and looking convincing.”

“I don’t think we’ll have any trouble with that. Let me put on the panties and bra.”

“Okay.”

Kenny went back to the bathroom, hung up the towel, and slipped on the satin bra and matching pair of panties. They felt wonderfully smooth. He walked back to Tracy’s room. She was giggling at him.

“What?”

“I was just thinking that it’s a damn good thing Mom is away this week. I don’t think either of us wants her to see you like that just yet.”

Kenny cracked a smile.

“Good point! Okay, let me put on my nylons.”

Kenny carefully picked up the nylons and began to slip them on. Kenny loved the feeling of the nylons against his freshly shaven legs.

“I guess the other pair is just in case, huh?”

“Yeah, you’d better bring them along in case you get a run.”

“Okay, hand me the skirt and turtle neck, please. Oh, the belt, too.”

Kenny put on those pieces of his outfit smoothly and easily. He reached for the shoes and put them on so that he wouldn’t damage the nylons.

“Let’s get your nail polish done. Have a seat at my vanity.”

“Okay.”

Kenny sat down on the white stool and held out his hands. Tracy painted his nails a shade of purple that matched his sweater. Then she grabbed her hair dryer and dried them. Kenny slipped on the sweater and Tracy applied the mandatory makeup. She picked out a necklace and a ring for Kenny and put them on him. She gave him an old watch of hers with a black leather band and a faux gold dial. Kenny slipped it onto his left wrist and made sure the time was set properly. Tracy put the headband on Kenny and adjusted it.

“Okay, Kenny. You’re done, except for the earrings.”

“You might as well call me Jennie.”

“Oh, good idea. Do you have the envelope and the address?”

“Yes. Here’s the envelope and the address is--”

Jennie looked around for the pink slip of paper with the address but she couldn’t find it.

“Oh shit, where is it?”

Jennie began to panic.

“It’s all right, sis. I remember the address. 749 Magnolia Terrace.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Jennie felt a measure of relief.

“Thank God. Fuck, this day just gets better and better.”

“Well it’s going to end with a good long talk between you and Maggie, right?”

“Damn straight it is!”

“Okay, are you ready?”

“Uh, yes, where’s my purse?”

“Oh, I almost forgot about that. Here...”

Tracy grabbed a purse from her closet and held it open for Kenny while he deposited the envelope and the notes he had received from whoever was doing this. The purse had a shoulder strap and Kenny hung it over his right shoulder.

“You should keep these with you just in case.”

Tracy placed the cosmetics she’d used on Kenny into an inside pocket in the purse and zipped the pocket shut.

“Oh, let me grab my extra nylons.”

Jennie grabbed the spare package of nylons and put it in the purse.

“Okay, Tracy. How do I look?”

“You look great. Come over to the mirror.”

They walked over and stood before Tracy’s full-length mirror.

“Wow. I look cute!”

“You look adorable! Are you ready?”

“No. Let’s go! I don’t want to be late!”

“Yeah, me either. Let’s go. Oh, wait!”

“What?”

Tracy grabbed a small bottle of perfume off of her dresser and spritzed Kenny with it.

“Now you’re done. Let’s go!”

* * * * *

The tattoo parlor was where Tracy had had the second and third holes done on her ears. The place was not crowded on a Friday evening. Jennie supposed that people would rather be out having fun than in there getting new holes poked in their bodies. Jennie did not have to wait long for her turn.

She went into a small room where a man with large earrings and a nose ring put on a pair of purple rubber gloves and swabbed Jennie’s lobes with alcohol. He carefully marked the spots where he would be piercing Jennie’s ears. Then he handed her a mirror so that she could decide if she liked the placement. She decided that she did -- which was a damn good thing since she was pressed for time.

The man with the nose ring picked up a sterilized needle and pierced Jennie’s right ear. Then he slid a gold stud through the hole. When he was done, he repeated the process with her other lobe. Finally, he picked up everything he had used and threw it away -- even the pen he’d used to mark Jennie’s earlobes. He handed Jennie the mirror again and for the first time she looked into a mirror and saw herself wearing real earrings. She couldn’t help smiling. She briefly gave her approval to the man with the nose ring and he gave her a bottle of cleaning fluid to keep her earrings clean. He also instructed her on how to properly care for her newly pierced ears. When he was done, he escorted her back out to the front where Tracy was waiting for her. Tracy smiled at Jennie and told her she looked cute. Then Tracy paid for the piercing job, which was surprisingly affordable, and they left for the mystery address. Jennie was still smiling, even after they got back into the car

* * * * *

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up in front of a pale blue house with a front yard full of flowers.

“Well, Kenny -- I mean, Jennie -- this is it. 749 Magnolia Terrace.”

Jennie had no idea whose house it was.

“Yup. This is it. I wonder who the hell lives here.”

“I don’t know. Let’s find out. Do you want me to come up to the door with you?”

“Ummmm, let’s see...” Jennie removed the notes from her purse and scanned them. “Well, they didn’t say you can’t, so yes, please do come up with me.”

Jennie returned the notes to her purse.

“Okay.”

Tracy shut off the engine and they got out. Jennie’s heart began racing. As they approached the door, Jennie removed the envelope from her purse as she joked, “The envelope, please!” When they reached the front door, Jennie took one last deep breath. Then she rang the doorbell, opened the envelope and deposited the envelope in her purse, as instructed. The contents of the envelope puzzled Jennie. She was now holding a small, black velvet bag and a recordable DVD that obviously had something recorded on it. There was a note attached on a post-it that said:

YOU ARE TO WATCH THIS VIDEO WITH WHOEVER ANSWERS THE DOOR OR ELSE!

“I guess that’s the last instruction. I hope the naked picture isn’t on that DVD!”

Jennie’s nerves were steadily rising.

“Yeah, me too. Well, here they come!”

“Okay, here goes everything.”

The front door opened and Jennie found herself face to face with--

“Maggie??”

Maggie was silent for a moment. Jennie abruptly remembered her line.

“Oh, I-I mean hi, I’m Jennie. These are for you.”

Jennie held out the DVD and the velvet bag -- but Maggie didn’t take them. She folded her arms across her chest.

“What in the fuck are you doing here -- and dressed like that?”

The other five girls who had been invited came to the door, crowded around Maggie and giggled at Jennie. Jena muscled her way to the front of the pack.

“I think you’ve done enough, don’t you?”

Jennie looked at the DVD for a moment and sighed.

“Maggie, I dressed like this for you! I even had my ears pierced for you because they told me I had to. I’m doing all of this for you, so for the love of God, will you please just watch the stupid video? Something nasty is going to happen to you if you don’t and there is absolutely no way I’ll be able to stop it.”

Maggie remained still and silent, staring at Jennie -- but not quite glaring. Jennie’s frustration was mounting to the point of being intolerable and she began ranting and raving.

“Maggie, I voluntarily dressed like this and went to an address I had never heard of to deliver something sealed in an envelope I wasn’t allowed to open until I got there. I had no idea what would happen to me -- and believe you me, I had some really nasty visions run through my head, like being kidnapped or molested or killed -- but I still came. I got busted on my way out of school because Ms. Greenwich thinks I stole the duffle bag that had these clothes in it because she saw me take it out of somebody else’s locker -- a locker where they said I had to pick up the duffle bag, this little black bag and this DVD. Ms. Greenwich told me to report to her office but I took off as soon as her back was turned and got myself in even more trouble so that I could be here risking my life for all I knew so that you could be spared from the worst humiliation that I can think of. I think you owe it to me to watch this with me!”

Finally, Maggie’s facial expression softened. Maggie’s sister Jill made her way to the front of the crowd at her front door.

Jill and Tracy looked at each other and nodded. Naturally, Maggie noticed. Jill spoke first.

“Maggie, hon, you really need to watch that video.”

“Yeah, Maggie you really do want to see what’s on there,” Tracy copped to her complicity.

“What the fuck is going on, you two? Do you know who is behind this?”

“Watch the goddamn video!” Tracy and Jill said it unison and everyone laughed, including Maggie.

“Okay, I’ll watch the video. Follow me, everyone.”

Everyone came back inside and Jill closed the door behind them. She had the option of using her computer to view the DVD privately, but she decided to use the DVD player in the basement so that everyone could watch the video.

They processed down the stairs and got comfortable while Maggie fed the DVD into the machine and turned everything on. She sat down on the couch, sighed, and looked over at Jennie.

“Come and sit with me.”

Jennie’s face betrayed her hope of salvaging their friendship as she got up and sat down next to Maggie. The DVD began to play and Tracy and Jill appeared on the TV screen.

“What the-- ?? You two were behind this??”

Maggie glanced at her sister as the video began. Jill motioned for Maggie to watch the TV screen. On it, the On-Screen-Jill took the lead.

“Hi everyone. We’re guessing that you’re all sitting in the basement right about now. We really hope that we haven’t killed the friendship between Maggie and Jennie. We never wanted that to happen.”

On-Screen-Jill paused for a moment.

“We’ll start with a confession. We wrote a very threatening note that we left unsigned and placed in Kenny’s locker on Wednesday. The note mentions a full frontal naked photo of Maggie, but that photo does not exist. We made it up. Jennie please take the note out of your purse so that Maggie can read it.”

Maggie paused the video and waited as Jennie pulled out the note and gave it to her. Maggie read it aloud and as she did, she became emotional. When she was done she let her hands fall to her lap and looked at Jennie.

“That was why you wouldn’t tell me?”

Jennie’s eyes began to water.

“Yes! I had no idea who was behind this until now and there was obviously no way in hell I could stop whomever it was from emailing this naked photo to everyone at school -- and maybe even posting it on the internet! The only thing I could possibly do to help you was to follow the instructions and not tell you anything. I’m so sorry that I hurt you, Maggie.”

Jennie was sobbing and Maggie embraced him warmly.

“Oh, Jennie, I’m finally starting to see that it wasn’t you who hurt me.”

Maggie glowered at her sister as she resumed the video. On-Screen-Tracy took over.

“I’m sure that by now, you’re wondering what possessed us to do this.”

“Yeah, no shit!” Maggie spat. On the screen, Jill and Tracy exchanged glances.

“The answer is that Maggie and Jennie have been in love with each other for years and neither one knows. We will leave it to the two of you to explain why not.”

Maggie paused the video again and gaped at Jennie, who was staring at Maggie with astonishment.

“Maggie? Is that really true?”

Tears began to spill from Jennie’s eyes.

“Yes! It’s very true!”

Maggie threw her arms around Jennie and Jennie embraced her lovingly.

“You really feel the same way?”

“Yes, I really do! You have no idea!”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I almost did at your twelfth birthday. I bought you a ring with a heart on it. I was going to give it to you and tell you that I loved you.”

“Why didn’t you, Jennie?”

Jennie looked around the room and gazed into Maggie’s eyes.

“Maggie, this isn’t the first time I’ve dressed as a girl. I’ve done this many times because I love to. On the night I bought that ring, Tracy dressed me up as a girl for about the hundred millionth time, and that was when I figured out that I am a girl. When that happened I thought sure that I didn’t have a chance with you,” Jennie sobbed, “but I couldn’t part with that ring. I kept it in my desk drawer and pulled it out to look at it every once in a while. Every time I did, it made me cry because I still love you.”

“Awww!”

Maggie wiped a tear from Jennie’s eye.

“So you’re transgendered, huh?”

Maggie smiled at him.

“Yes, I am. My body is still a boy but my heart, mind and soul are all girl.”

“I kind of suspected that.”

Maggie ran her fingers through Jennie’s long hair. That relaxed Jennie a bit!

“I mean, your hair is part of it, but you’re nothing like any of the boys I know.”

“That is very true.”

Jennie smiled at her.

“Well, Jennie, it turns out that I’m bisexual, so you never had to worry about me not being interested.”

“Really? So how come you never told me how you felt?”

“I don’t know, really. I guess at first, I waited for you to make the move and when you didn’t, I figured you weren’t interested. Otherwise, I would have made the move.”

They put their arms around each other and Maggie resumed the video. On-Screen-Tracy continued to speak.

“Now, let us tell you why we had Jennie dress up as a girl. It was to show Jennie that Maggie loves her just the way she is and it was to show Maggie what Jennie is willing to do for her because she loves her so much. There’s a part of it that Jennie has to explain, though. Jennie has probably told her secret by now, but it’s not our place to explain this part.”

Maggie paused it again.

“What does she mean, Jennie?”

“This is the first time I’ve ever left my house as a girl -- and I was not ready for that at all. I came out early for you.”

“Awwwwww!”

Maggie’s heart was warmed and she hugged Jennie again. She resumed the video, and they sat back on the couch cuddled together with their arms around each other.
On-Screen-Tracy continued.

“Speaking of which. We are about to show some clips that I shot of Jennie over the last couple of days. These clips were actually not part of the original plan, but when Maggie and Kenny got into that big fight in the middle of the dining room, we thought we might have killed their friendship, and so I came up with this to try to save it.”

The video showed a series of clips of On-Screen-Kenny, sitting on Tracy’s bed and talking to On-Screen-Tracy.

“Kenny, are you really going to do whatever they tell you to on Friday?”

“Yes, I am,” he answered without hesitation.

“No matter what they want you to do?”

On-Screen-Kenny looked at his hands as he thought for a moment and On-Screen-Tracy waited for him to answer. He sighed heavily.

“Yes, no matter what they want me to do. I will do anything to save Maggie from this, even if we’re not friends anymore. Hell, I would walk naked down the middle of the fucking freeway if I thought it would save her. Saving Maggie is all I care about.”

On-Screen-Kenny paused for a second and On-Screen-Tracy appeared to wait for him to continue. On-Screen-Kenny stared miserably out the window.

“I have no idea where I will be going on Friday night. For all I know they could be sending me out of town somewhere. I have no idea who I will be talking to, or what will happen to me. Still... I just plain don’t care. If I have to suffer so that Maggie doesn’t, then so be it. I’ll do it. That’s what real love is, you know.”

Maggie’s eyes began to leak as she looked at Jennie. The video skipped to the next clip, and On-Screen-Kenny re-appeared, still sitting on Tracy’s bed.

“Well, I’m going to wear whatever it is and go wherever they tell me to. If it helps Maggie, then I don’t care what I have to wear. I don’t care if it’s a neon green chicken suit.”

Everyone giggled.

“I don’t even care if someone points a gun in my face.”

The giggling was silenced. Maggie’s jaw slowly dropped. On-Screen-Jill took over.

“Well, there you have it. Maggie, you know by now that Kenny is innocent of this, so please don’t be mad at him.”

“You mean, she.”

“Yeah!”

“Well, that’s all! Bye!”

Maggie stopped the video and hugged Jennie.

“Oh, Jennie--”

“Excuse me, Maggie?”

Jill interrupted, holding up another DVD.

“Sorry, but there’s another DVD to watch. We shot it on Friday afternoon after we already put the first DVD in the duffle bag. Jennie, you have the note that was in the duffle bag. Please hand it to Maggie while I feed this DVD into the machine.”

“Okay.”

While Jill did that, Jennie pulled out the note and passed it to Maggie, who read it aloud.

“Wow, Jennie, you were telling the truth about everything you said at the front door.”

Jennie’s eyes began to overflow.

“Oh, Maggie, I would never, ever lie to you!”

“I’m sorry I doubted you, Jennie.”

Maggie reached up and wiped the tears from Jennie’s eyes. Jill started up the second video and On-Screen-Kenny and On-Screen-Tracy could be seen standing before locker number 432. On-Screen-Kenny was the first to speak.

“So what am I wearing tonight?”

On-Screen-Tracy looked at him for a moment and waited for a couple other students to pass before answering.

“Girls’ clothes.”

On-Screen-Kenny appeared slightly less nervous.

“Well, it’s a hell of a lot better than a neon green chicken suit.”

The live audience giggled again. On-Screen-Kenny looked nervous. On-Screen-Tracy spoke next.

“Kenny, are you feeling ready to...”

On-Screen-Tracy looked around for a moment.

“...to be yourself outside the house?”

“No, not at all, but I don’t care and it doesn’t matter. It’s the only way to save Maggie and I’m doing it.”

On-Screen-Kenny paused and looked up at On-Screen-Tracy.

“Take me home and dress me up. Let’s do this right.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

“Mr. James! Where do you think you’re going with that duffle bag?”

On-Screen-Kenny’s eyes flew wide open and he turned around as On-Screen-Ms.-Greenwich approached with her hands on her hips.

“Ms. Greenwich, it’s my duffle bag.”

“Oh, come now, Kenny, I saw you take it out of a locker which we both know is not yours.”

“But it is my duffle bag! Look!”

On-Screen-Kenny quickly unzipped the duffle bag and he showed On-Screen-Ms. Greenwich his name written on the outside of the envelope.

“You would have me believe those are yours?”

On-Screen-Kenny looked where On-Screen-Ms. Greenwich was pointing and saw that the girls’ clothes were showing. He gasped and On-Screen-Tracy put one hand over her mouth.

“I suppose it would explain your hair, Mr. James.”

On-Screen-Kenny stuffed the envelope back in the duffle bag and quickly zipped it shut. As he did so, the sound of ripping paper could be heard. He gaped at the duffle bag.

“Oh fuck!!”

Everyone roared with laughter.

“Kenny James! Report to my office in five minutes!”

On-Screen-Ms. Greenwich turned and stalked off toward her office.

“Like hell! Run, Tracy!”

The video was over. Maggie hugged Jennie tightly for a moment, choked up, and managed to speak.

“So, you got in trouble and outed to Ms. Greenwich for me?”

“I’m not sure if I was outed -- Ms. Greenwich probably still thinks I stole the duffle bag. Of course, why I would steal a bag full of girls’ clothes? Oh shit! Maybe I was outed! Well, anyway, I did it all for you, yes.”

“You were really prepared to suffer so that I wouldn’t?”

Jennie stared at Maggie.

“Yes, Maggie. I would have done anything for you. I meant everything I said in those videos. Every word!”

Maggie began to cry and she squeezed Jennie. Jennie silently held her for a moment, gently stroking her hair. She motioned for Tracy or Jill to grab some tissues for Maggie and Jill brought over a box of tissues.

“I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Jennie.”

“You’re very welcome! Oh!”

Jennie realized that she was still holding the small, black velvet bag. She glanced down at it and looked back into Maggie’s eyes as she pulled away and held it out to her.

“This is for you.”

Maggie took it with a smile on her face. She loosened the draw string that held the little bag shut and pulled out a silver ring that was decorated with a heart-shaped cubic zirconium stone in a silver, heart-shaped setting.

“Oh, Jennie, it’s beautiful!”

Jennie stared at the ring in utter astonishment.

“Oh, my God!”

“What?”

“That’s the ring I bought you for your twelfth birthday!”

“Oh, Jennie! I love it! I love you!”

Jennie’s eyes watered as she looked back at Maggie. Maggie smiled at Jennie lovingly for a moment and slid the ring on her left ring finger. She softly touched Jennie’s face and Jennie kissed her full on the lips. Some of the other girls in the room began cat calling but Jill silenced them. For a few moments, nobody spoke and Maggie and Jennie silently held each other. Jennie realized that there was one more thing bothering her.

“Maggie?”

“Yes?”

Jennie paused for a moment then she pulled back far enough to look Maggie in the eyes.

“Why couldn’t you trust me?”

She searched Maggie’s eyes for the answer. Jennie began to tear up as she relived her pain.

“Oh, Jennie, you were hurt, too, weren’t you?”

“Yes, it really hurt. We’ve been friends for such a long time and I couldn’t understand.”

“Well, what happened was that I figured, you know, if your child was kidnapped and the kidnappers told you not to tell the police, well, you would anyway. I knew that some asshole forbade you to tell me anything but I couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me anyway and I couldn’t figure out why we wouldn’t be able to do something about it.”

“Now I understand! I don’t blame you.”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

Jennie smiled at her and hugged her.

“Don’t be. You are one hundred percent victim here.”

“So are you,” Maggie replied.

Jill and Tracy approached them.

“We’re really sorry, you guys. We never meant for your relationship to be strained to the breaking point.”

“Yeah, we didn’t foresee that. We just wanted to hook you two up.”

“Well, it worked. I mean, I won’t ever like the idea of Maggie being hurt, but I guess this was worth it -- if it was worth it for you, Maggie.”

“It was definitely worth it. As for you two,” she glanced at her sister, “you owe us. Big.”

“You’re right, we do.”

“Jill, I want you to make sure our parents do not come down here for the rest of the night.”

“Okay.”

“And you!” Maggie looked at Tracy and back at Jennie.

“What do you think, Jennie? What are we going to do with her?”

Tracy began to look a bit nervous.

Jennie smiled at Maggie and looked at Tracy.

“We want pizza -- for everyone. Get us some and we’ll call it even.”

Everyone giggled and cheered.

“Okay, you deserve it. What would you like on it?”

They gave their order to Tracy, who turned to call the nearest pizzeria. Jena came up to Jennie.

“Hi, Jennie. I’m sorry I called you a fucking asshole and I’m sorry I treated you the way I did. Are we friends again?”

“It’s okay, Jena. Of course we’re friends again. Tracy and Jill are the bad guys here.”

Jennie gave Jena a hug -- but there was one other detail, which of course, did not escape Maggie.

“Oh, by the way, you two, you are to speak with Ms. Greenwich first thing Monday morning and get Jennie out of trouble or else!”

“Don’t worry, we will!”

* * * * *

Monday morning came, and Kenny found herself standing before the bathroom mirror, staring at her new earrings. Tracy knocked on the bathroom door to check on her.

“Are you okay, little sister?”

Kenny sighed.

“Yes and no. I don’t want to take out my earrings, but at school...”

“Say no more! One moment, please!”

Tracy went back to her room and returned with one hand behind her back.

“Erm, what have you got there, Tracy?”

Tracy held out a pair of peace symbol studs.

“Hey, those just might work!”

“I picked them out while you were getting your ears pierced. We’ll worry about Mom when she gets home tomorrow night. For now, I’ll help you switch your earrings.”

“Thanks, Tracy! You’re the best!”

Kenny gave her a big hug. Minutes later, Kenny was wearing the pair of peace symbol studs and smiling -- although she did like the feminine gold ball studs a bit more. Kenny felt ready to face the return to school.

Alas, no sooner did Kenny walk into the school building with Maggie on his arm -- and Tracy and Jill in tow -- than Ms. Greenwich appeared, blocking their path with her arms folded.

“Mr. James! You are in deep trouble, mister! You are to come to my office -- right now!”

Kenny’s face turned pale again.

“Yes, Ms. Greenwich.”

Kenny and Maggie looked at each other and followed Ms. Greenwich to her office with Tracy and Jill right behind them. When they arrived at Ms. Greenwich’s office, Maggie and Kenny let go of each other. Kenny walked into the office and Ms. Greenwich was about to close the door when Tracy stopped her.

“Ms. Greenwich, wait!”

Ms. Greenwich turned around and glowered at Tracy.

“This had better be good, young lady!”

“Kenny is innocent! It’s all our fault,” Tracy gestured to Jill. “Please don’t punish Kenny!”

Ms. Greenwich looked back and forth among the four students before her.

“All of you -- in my office, right now. Make yourselves comfortable!”

Ms. Greenwich closed her door behind them and sat down behind her desk.

“Now then, Ms. James.”

“Yes?”

Kenny and Tracy answered in perfect unison. Kenny clapped her hand over her mouth and everyone in the room -- save for Ms. Greenwich -- began giggling.

“Well, now! Was I right about your hair, and those clothes -- and those earrings, Kenny James?”

Kenny took a deep breath.

“Yes, Ms. Greenwich. I grew my hair this long so that I would look like a girl. The girls’ clothes in the duffle bag were part of a scheme that Tracy and Jill launched against Maggie and I, and I did put them on, but I had no problem with that -- and it was nowhere near the first time I dressed like a girl.”

“Hmmm. I’ll get back to that in a minute. Are you saying that the duffle bag was not, in fact, stolen?”

“Yes, Ms. Greenwich, it--”

“Let me take this one, Kenny?”

“Okay, Tracy. Thanks.”

“I owe you after what we did.”

“Do tell, Tracy James.”

Tracy described her scheme with Jill to get Maggie and Kenny hooked up.

“If you check the school records, you will find that the locker from which Kenny pulled the duffle bag is unused.”

“Well, well.” Ms. Greenwich thought for a moment. “It seems that you did not steal that duffle bag after all, and placing it in an unused locker is not a breach of any school rule that I am aware of.”

She looked at Kenny.

“However, Kenny, you did leave the school on Friday after I specifically asked you to report to my office.”

Kenny looked crestfallen.

“But given the duress you were obviously under, I’m willing to let that go on one condition.”

Kenny felt hope!
“Please name it,” she encouraged Ms. Greenwich.

“I will keep it between us if you agree to begin seeing a therapist who specializes in gender issues. It seems such a course of action is well overdue.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Greenwich? Overdue?”

“Transgendered persons such as yourself seek out the help of a gender specialist so that they can be sure that they understand themselves and if so, to begin taking hormones, and in some cases, transition into womanhood. That, however, does depend on what you and your specialist feel is the right course of action. Do you follow?”

“Oh, yes, Ms. Greenwich. I agree to that, of course!”

Ms. Greenwich smiled at him.

“All right then. I will consider this matter settled, but I want you to report back to me within thirty days to let me know that you have begun therapy.”

“I will, Ms. Greenwich! Thank you!”

“You’re welcome... Ms. James.”

Ms. Greenwich smiled at Kenny, who beamed at being referred to as Ms. James.

“You are all dismissed. Don’t be late for class!”

Maggie reached over and hugged Jennie, who gladly reciprocated.

“My, my, I take it that your scheme worked?”

“It certainly did!”

Kenny smiled as he and Maggie left Ms. Greenwich’s office arm in arm and walked down the school hallway.

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

One Christmas Eve

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

Mature Subjects (pg15)

Contests:

December 2009 Christmas Holidays Contest

Publication:

7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Preteen or Intermediate

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Other Keywords:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

----------=BigCloset Retro Classic!=----------
Christmas Special!

Kris has been struggling with gender confusion. On Christmas Eve, in the midst of a party full of girls in holiday finery, his sister offers to dress him up to see if it will help him to understand things better. He agrees to give it a try, and his world comes crashing down around him. He needs a miracle.
Will he get one?

One Christmas Eve

by Mona Lisa

Admin Note: Originally published on BigCloset TopShelf on Tuesday 12-22-2009 at 05:39:50 -0500 am, this retro classic was pulled out of the closet, and re-presented for our newer readers. ~Sephrena

“Oh dear! Oh, that poor child!”

Clarence, an angel of first class status, looked down on a small town, through the snow and into the playroom of an Edwardian home. He watched a thirteen year old boy named Kris play games with his two sisters and four female friends.

The melancholy in Kris’ soul was hidden to the girls, but Clarence could see it like a stone in a glass of water.

“What is it, Sir?” asked his assistant, Lewis, as he flew over to Clarence.

“There’s a child in trouble down there on earth who is about to do something terrible and needs our help.”

“Something terrible? Like what?”

Clarence looked gravely at Lewis.

“Like ending it all.”

“Oh no!”

“Yes, Kris needs a guardian angel right away! Send for Gloria!”

“Yes, Sir!”

Moments later, Gloria glided up to Clarence.

“You called, Sir?”

“Yes, Gloria. Do you see Kris down there?”

“Oh, yes, that poor — girl?” She looked back at Clarence.

“Yes, Gloria. She may look like a boy, but she is a girl.”

“Oh, my! That’s no way to grow up — not in that world!”

“Gloria, you need to go down there and help her. She’s about to do something terrible and she needs your help.”

Gloria’s mouth slowly opened.

“Oh no, Clarence, she isn’t going to-”

“Yes, she is. You have to go down there and prevent her from ending her own life.”

“But, why? Why is she going to kill herself?”

“Well, it’s like this…”

* * *

Kris got himself ready for bed, looking forward to Christmas, which was only two days away. He put his clothes carefully away, brushed his shoulder-length hair until it was free of tangles, and knelt by his bed to pray.

“God, I know you’ve heard this prayer enough times to be sick of me a thousand times over, but… it’s really important.” Kris looked sadly down at his hands as he took a quiet breath. “Something’s not right, God. You know it and I know it. Every day of my life, I know it. Every time I see a girl, I look at what she’s wearing as much as I look at her. But why? I thought I was a boy. I shouldn’t be so interested in what girls wear and what they do. But I am. I am so confused and I hate living like this. I’m so tired of feeling like I don’t fit in anywhere because I’m not like anyone else. Please, God, please help me figure it out so I don’t have to live like this anymore. I don’t know how much longer I can keep going. I need you, I really do! Please help me? Please?”

* * *

“You see, Gloria, she’s overwhelmed by what she has to deal with. It’s taking its toll on her. It was always part of The Plan for her to understand, but she’s having such trouble hanging on until then. Without your intervention…” Clarence trailed off.

“I see.” Gloria quietly answered him. “Well, what are we waiting for? Send me down there!”

“Oh, I will, don’t you worry about that. But first, you must watch and learn. You will need to know all about her to help her.”

“Very well. Show me. But please hurry! I can already tell we haven’t much time.”

* * *

After giving himself a final check in the bathroom mirror, Kris headed downstairs to join his sisters in the living room while they waited for their guests to arrive.

The Christmas tree in the front hall still only had a small handful of presents underneath it — nowhere near what was usually there — and it was Christmas Eve.

Still no presents? Gee, that’s really weird. We usually can’t fit them all under the tree!

Kris’ thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of his parents talking in the kitchen. His father was a bit gruff, evidently because of some difficulties he’d been having with his business. Kris hoped everything was all right.

Moving toward the living room, he tried to focus on the holiday décor to keep his mind off of what he had overheard. He loved the assortment of nutcrackers on the mantel with evergreen garlands at their feet. It wouldn’t be Christmas without the group of caroling figurines sprinkled with artificial snow atop the waist-high stereo cabinet.

He smiled as he headed to the couches where his sisters were ready and waiting for the guests. Carin and Sara both looked beautiful in their holiday dresses and Kris caught himself admiring their clothes a bit too long.

His fascination with their clothes had always been a part of his life. He tried to understand it, but had never succeeded. It was clear to him that he was a boy who was inexplicably drawn to girls’ clothing and girls in general, but beyond that, his life was a perplexing mystery.

Deciding to think of something else, he moved to the upright piano against the living room wall and began to play a few Christmas carols.

When the Stones arrived, Kris saw Angelica and Sabrina Stone. They both looked as wonderful as his sisters and his attention gravitated toward the girls and their clothes.

Kris and his sisters greeted them warmly as the adults talked near the front door and the five of them waited in the living room for the Blakes to arrive. Kris had to work at not allowing his consciousness to be consumed by the girls and their attire. I guess I'd better go back to the piano. Carin complimented his playing and he flashed a shy smile in response.

Minutes later, Melissa and Becca Blake walked into the living room while the adults greeted each other in the foyer. They both looked wonderful, but Melissa really made Kris’ heart dance. He stopped playing as he stood and stared at her.

Melissa was his favorite person in the world. She was his age and he had a massive crush on her. She was the sweetest, nicest person he knew, they had lots in common, and she had the prettiest long red hair and large green eyes that Kris had ever seen.

Rebecca Blake was the same age as Sara, and they had been close friends, along with Angelica, since their families had known one another.

The relentless spell that the girls’ clothing seemed to have on Kris went abruptly into full blossom and he could only hope that it wasn’t obvious.

All of the girls looked so good that Kris wanted to cry. He wanted desperately to understand what it was about their appearance that so moved him. He studied the six lovely girls, hoping that an answer would materialize between his ears by some splurt of magic but no explanation came to mind.

Before he had much time to think about it, his father asked them to move up to the playroom so that the parents could talk in the living room. Dutifully enough, they left the living room on their way upstairs.

* * *

The playroom was a large room in the third story with burgundy carpeting, almond paint on the walls, and cherry wood furniture. There were windows on two sides of the room that provided the three tables to the right with natural light. On the left, a sofa and coffee table were placed in front of an entertainment center flanked by finished wood shelves that held dolls, games, DVDs and books.

Kris was the only boy amid a group of six girls. Yet, contrary to what society might expect of him, he preferred it that way. In fact, he loved it. He fit in famously with the girls — and wondered how that was possible.

His thoughts lingered in the wardrobe of holiday dresses that surrounded him as games of Pictionary and Balderdash commenced. He couldn’t help looking around at those pretty girls. He didn’t see a single dress he didn’t adore and he had always loved the sight of tights on a girl. They always looked so beautiful!

His eyes drifted from one girl to the next until they stopped on Melissa, who captivated him unlike any other girl. Melissa wore a beautiful emerald green dress with a white lacy collar and a hint of white lace around the waist, sleeves and hem. Her outfit was completed with semi-sheer white tights and black patent leather dress flats. Her hair was done in a simple but elegant French braid and a dash of light makeup perfected her look. Her green dress brought out the deep green of her eyes and complemented her glowing red hair. She was truly a vision to behold — especially when she smiled.

Kris noticed Carin giving him a funny look and a sly smile as she leaned close.

“You still have a crush on Melissa, don’t you?” She whispered.

Kris blushed furiously. He was gazing at Melissa’s clothes as much as he was gazing at Melissa and he hoped like hell that Carin hadn’t caught on.

“Yes, I do. God, she looks so beautiful.” He whispered as he trailed off, sneaking another look at Melissa. “You all do,” he hastily added.

And something about that troubled him. He couldn’t imagine why it should bother him that the girls all looked so beautiful and yet it did! He felt a powerful dread as if investigating a strong smell of smoke.

His thoughts preoccupied him to the point that he didn’t notice his mother, Mary, putting a couple of trays on an unused table until she announced that hors d’oeuvres were served. He looked up and tried to smile as they chorused a ‘thank you’.

Mary returned downstairs while they paused their games to have a bite. During their break, Sara maneuvered Kris out of earshot as they noshed on stuffed mushrooms.

“Hey, Kris, I’ve noticed you looking around at all the girls again. What are you looking at when you do that?”

It took him a moment to figure out how to answer her.

“Oh, well, you know… you all look so pretty in your dresses and tights.” He blushed again.

“You like dresses and tights?” Sara quietly giggled as he swallowed nervously.

“Well, yeah. They look very pretty.”

“Do you like to wear dresses and tights?” She gently teased him.

His blush intensified until he looked like a Maraschino cherry floating in a stiff drink. He hesitated again before he stammered his answer.

“Uh… no.” He replied quietly. He wasn’t exactly lying; he had never worn girls’ clothes and he didn’t know if he liked them.

Not yet.

Sara abruptly looked at him as she picked up on something. She knew that her question should have been a grievous indignity to a boy — and should have provoked a commensurate response.

Kris never was like other boys. He had always been the sensitive type, averse to rough play or being made fun of, but his low-key response to Sara’s gentle teasing made her wonder about her brother.

“Well, don’t worry. I’m just kidding.” She gently placed one hand on his shoulder.

“I know.” He tried to smile, but her remark had unnerved him.

“Kris, are you ready to resume our game?” Carin asked, eyeing him carefully as she observed his conversation with Sara.

“Yeah, I’m ready. Have fun, Sara!”

Kris returned to the table with Carin and reclaimed his seat as Sabrina turned over a card to take her turn drawing. While she drew a picture and Carin frantically guessed what it was, Kris felt a nylon clad leg brush against his bare ankle.

He froze, electrified with the sensation as he looked around the table to figure out who had touched him. It wasn’t hard to determine. Sabrina and Carin were busy — and Melissa was smiling at him.

“Oh, was that you?” She asked not so innocently.

“Yeah. That was me.” He smiled back, genuinely delighted with her attention. “It’s okay.” Please do it again!

Kris was thrilled that she had touched him that way, but his thoughts drifted into unexpected territory. He went from wondering if it was a signal to wondering what her tights felt like.

What the hell am I thinking? I’m a boy! I’m not supposed to care what tights feel like, for fuck sake! God, what is wrong with me? I mean, come on! Melissa doesn’t want a boy who wonders what tights feel like!

“Are you okay, Kris?” Melissa inquired.

Carin had just successfully guessed Sabrina’s picture when she heard the question and she looked at Kris with an expectant expression.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He stared at Melissa, hoping she would accept his answer. He knew that Carin wouldn’t, but neither would she pursue it in front of the others.

Kris’ nerves were overloading and he tried to take a few silent breaths to keep his cool. Fortunately, the sound of his mother’s voice wafted up the stairs, calling them down to dinner and sparing him from further scrutiny.

* * *

Throughout the meal, Kris stewed in his thoughts about Melissa’s attention and his conflicting reactions to it. He had a huge crush on Melissa but wondered whether she would have him if she knew about his infatuation with girls’ clothes.

Why am I so drawn to their clothes anyway? And why do I fit in so much better with girls?

He could understand a boy looking at girls — especially when they looked so pretty - but he knew that his fascination with the girls’ outfits was not coming from physical attraction to girls.

As he thought about it, and reflected on his curiosity about what Melissa’s tights felt like, he began to understand that he wanted to wear what the girls were wearing — and suddenly, he knew what bothered him about the girls looking so pretty.

For some inexplicable reason, he wanted to look pretty, too, just like they did — and he couldn’t because he was a boy.

But wait a minute! I can’t be jealous of girls in dresses! I mean, why would I want to look pretty? What the hell? That doesn’t make any sense!

But it was true, no matter how little sense it made - and this only deepened the mystery. It seemed that the more he tried to figure himself out the more baffled he became. It was like trying to assemble a jigsaw puzzle in the dark. All he knew was that he fit in better with girls, loved their clothes, wished to be dressed as they were, and had no idea why.

As they stood up and brought their dishes to the kitchen, the parents ushered them upstairs again. They turned to leave for the playroom to resume their games where they had left off. However, Kris’ thoughts and feelings were overwhelming to the point that he felt a great need to be alone. He approached Carin and told her he would be up in a few minutes.

* * *

He pretended to head for the bathroom and waited until the girls were all upstairs. Satisfied that he would not be observed, he went into his parents’ bedroom and sat on the foot of their bed, staring at his reflection in the mirrored closet doors.

The sounds of the girls’ chatter penetrated the ceiling, making him want to be up there with them, but he had to think. He needed to know what to do about his strange desire to be dressed like the girls, not to mention the complication it presented if Melissa was giving him the kind of attention he hoped for. It was all just too much.

He spent several long minutes perusing his reflection in the mirror, searching his face for answers but finding only a face full of questions.

* * *

Melissa and Carin glanced at the door and Melissa voiced the question in their minds.

“What’s taking Kris so long?”

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe you should go and check on him.”

“Maybe I should. I’ll be right back.”

* * *

“Oh wow! Kris doesn’t know she’s a girl yet!”

“That’s right, Gloria. She hasn’t figured it out. She only knows that she’s different.”

“Maybe I should help her with that, too!”

“Well, Gloria… let’s keep watching…”

* * *

Kris’s eyes roamed his reflection and stopped on his hair as an idea germinated.

Hmm. Let me try something. Oh, this is crazy, but… it might help… somehow.

His fingers trembled as he removed the elastic band from his hair and attempted to recreate Carin’s hairdo on his own head. He ran his fingers through his hair to remove any tangles and pulled back the front half. He put that portion into a high ponytail and secured it with the rubber band.

He sighed as he looked at the results. Carin’s hair was properly styled and she had a red velvet bow in her hair that looked so much prettier than Kris’ plain black elastic band. He felt that Carin’s pretty hair put his to shame, but his new hairdo sufficed for his purposes.

He stared at his feminized reflection and tried to pay attention to his reaction until he could understand it. As he concentrated on his feelings, he determined that he was experiencing a mixture of fear and thrill. He loved what he saw but was terrified that someone would see him.

It made him happy to see his hair feminized — though he wished that it looked as good as Carin’s - but it scared him that he felt these things. He watched as a tear slid down one cheek… and then the other.

It didn’t take this long to use the bathroom — and Kris knew that his sisters would wonder what was keeping him. He thought about what to do and decided that he’d better calm himself down, and head upstairs.

Before he could raise his hands to fix his hair, he caught a glimpse of movement in the corner of one eye. He turned toward the door and noticed Carin standing there, peering in at him. She had seen him fix his hair like a girl and he had no idea what to say to her. It embarrassed him to be caught that way. He considered returning his hair to its normal ponytail, but there was no point and he left it as it was.

Carin came over to him, sat down next to him and put her arm around him.

“Kris, what’s wrong?”

He tried to speak but he was too emotional.

“Your hair looks really pretty. Does it have something to do with that?”

He was still too choked up and could only nod as another tear slid down his cheek.

“Let me get you some tissues.”

She hurried to the master bathroom and came back with a box of Kleenex. Kris took a couple of tissues and wiped his tears.

“It’s just… I was really having fun with all the girls upstairs, but I… I couldn’t stop…” He paused, afraid of Carin’s reaction. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

“Of course! You have my word.”

He looked furtively at her to make sure. He studied her expression, looking into the blue eyes beneath her blonde bangs and saw the straight face of someone who wanted to help. Carin was being very understanding and empathetic. She always was and Kris loved her for it.

“Okay. Well, while I was upstairs, I couldn’t stop… thinking about how pretty all of you girls look tonight in your dresses and everything. Your hair looks pretty, your jewelry looks pretty… and I want to look like you. I don’t know why I should. I’m a boy. I just know that I do… and that I feel really left out because I can’t… and it’s really getting to me. I just don’t know what to do.”

“You’re trying to sort things out, huh?”

“Yeah. I don’t know why I feel this way. I just know that I have all of these feelings like I want to be dressed like the girls — that and I prefer it when only girls are around — and I don’t know where any of it is coming from.”

“Well, we have a while until dessert. Do you want to keep talking about it or maybe just hang out? I can tell the other girls to play without us.”

“I would like that. I’m not feeling ready to go back upstairs and to be honest, I like my hair this way. I don’t want to put it back yet.” His gaze dropped sheepishly to his lap.

“Okay, I’ll let the other girls know that we need a few minutes and tell Sara where we are.”

She gave him a hug which he happily returned.

“Thanks, Carin. I feel a little better. You’re a great sister!”

“So are you. I’ll be right back.” She flashed a sly smile as she scurried upstairs.

It wasn’t until she was gone that Kris realized what she had said.

Wait, she just said I’m a great sister! But I’m not a girl.

His feminized reflection silently disagreed.

Or am I? I don’t know. God, I’m so confused!

Suddenly uncomfortable with his own reflection, he stood up and walked across the hall to his mother’s office.

* * *

Kris sat down at his mother’s computer and pulled up a browser window while he waited for Carin. He decided to see if he could find any pictures of other boys who might be girls. He hoped it would help him find some answers — or at least some clues.

He found quite an assortment of pictures to look at. There were lots of pictures of men dressed as women, but only a few of boys his age dressed as girls - and he wasn’t sure if those pictures were real.

Most pictures he found were of males dressed as females for a variety of reasons from dares to Halloween costumes. He didn’t identify with any of them because none of those pictures spoke of a boy who might be a girl; they were clearly boys clowning around.

He knew that if he ever dressed as a girl, he would be doing it to be a girl, not to wear a costume or simply have fun. Plus, he would be wearing what normal girls would wear. He did not want to dress in an outlandish fashion and he did not want to be a boy in a dress. He wanted to be a girl, be that for a while or for good.

“Hi. Are you online?”

Oh shit! Kris jumped in his chair, one hand flying to his chest, thinking he was caught again.

“Oh, it’s you!" He let out a relieved sigh. "For a minute there, I thought I was busted with girly hair.”

“No, it’s just me.”

“Good!”

“So what’re you looking up?”

“Oh, I was just looking at pictures of boys dressed as girls just… just to see how I would react. I guess I was hoping it would help me figure things out.”

“Did it work?”

“Well, it did clarify one thing. I don’t know if I want to dress as a girl for a while or forever, but I definitely do not want to be a boy in a dress. I don't want it to be a costume and not just to mess around. I want to dress like a normal girl to be a normal girl… at least… while I’m dressed up as one.”

“Okay. Well, good. It sounds like you’ve made some progress.”

“Yeah, at least there’s that.” I smiled at her and noticed that she seemed hesitant to say something. “Got something on your mind?”

“Yeah, I do. I kind of have an idea that might help you figure this out.”

“Really? Great! What is it?” I looked at her eagerly, hoping against hope that her idea would help. She seemed unsure about something and she paused before answering.

“Well, you don’t have to do this, of course, but… I could dress you up as a girl and you could be a girl for the rest of the night.”

Kris immediately trembled, for so many reasons.

“Wow. I guess that’s an idea,” he breathed.

“We could do this now, if you want to. We could also do it after everyone’s gone home, but then you would miss out on the party.”

“Y-you mean go upstairs as a girl? I-in front of everyone?”

“Well, yeah. That’s the part that might tell you something.”

“Oh, wow. I really would love to be dressed as a girl tonight, just like all the other girls, but… Melissa’s up there and I really do have a big crush on her. Actually, I’m a little nervous about all of the girls except Sara, but I’m mostly afraid that Melissa might not like me anymore.”

“Hmm, I don’t think you have to worry about that. We were playing Truth or Dare with some other kids last year and someone dared one of the boys to dress up completely as a girl and stay that way for an hour.”

“And he took the dare?”

“He sure did!” Carin giggled. “And when it was Melissa’s turn someone dared her to kiss him on the lips while he was still dressed as a girl and she had no problem kissing him.”

“Really?”

“Really! She honestly didn’t mind. They even had a kind of a thing going for a while there. That wasn’t the last time they kissed either, I’ll just tell you that right now!” Carin smirked.

“Wow! Melissa really liked a boy who dressed as a girl?”

“Yes, she did!” Carin smiled.

Kris’ face lit up briefly, but clouded again. “But… that was different. I mean… that guy only dressed as a girl once.”

“That we know of.” Carin giggled.

“Well, okay, but still, was he… I mean… was he confused about himself like I am or was he just accepting the dare?”

Carin thought for a moment.

“Well, I didn’t see any sign that he was confused, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t. Anyway, Melissa won’t mind. Really.”

“Yeah… maybe not…” I trailed off.

“And besides, you don’t have to tell them why you’re dressed as a girl — not unless you want to. We can tell everyone that I dared you to do it.”

“I guess that would work.” I paused as I thought things over. “So… do you think the other girls will laugh at me?”

“Well, they probably will, to be honest, but only because they’re having fun, not out of meanness. They’ll be nice to you.”

“You’re sure they wouldn’t tell anyone?”

“Hmm, yes. I could swear them to secrecy before I let them see you and anyone that doesn’t swear to keep the secret won’t get to know about you.”

“Okay. Well, I really would like to try it...”

“It’s up to you.”

“Okay.”

Kris sat there for several moments, trembling, trying to decide. He really wanted to be dressed like the girls, but he couldn’t help feeling afraid.

“Well, um… I do want to dress up as a girl, but maybe after you dress me up we could stay in here for a few minutes so I can see how I feel.”

“Sure, we can do that!”

“Well, then… I hope this all goes okay, but… let’s do this!”

Kris had a smile on his face but he was shivering. Carin was smiling, too. Kris hoped that he was doing the right thing.

“Okay! Let’s go to my room and find you something to wear. Come on!”

Kris shut off the computer and they hurried down the hall, holding hands like a couple of girls.

* * *

“Well, it seems as though Kris is finding acceptance in her sister.” Gloria commented.

“Yes, she is… in her sister, at least.” Clarence admitted.

“What about the rest of her family? Will they accept her, too?”

“She’s not out of the woods yet, Gloria. Keep watching. You’ll see what I mean.”

* * *

When Kris and Carin got to Carin’s room, she threw open her closet door and began looking through her clothes.

“I have a dress and some flats that I think would look really cute on you! Remember what I wore on Christmas night last year?”

Kris gasped in awe.

“Oh, I love that outfit! It’s so pretty!”

Carin giggled.

“I love it, too. Here it is!”

She pulled out a red dress with a velvet bodice, short taffeta sleeves and a knee-length taffeta skirt. She also had a pair of red, patent leather flats to go with it.

“I can’t believe I’m really doing this!”

“Don’t worry. I think we’ll both have fun seeing you all prettied up. Let me get you some underthings.”

She carefully hung the dress on a hook on the inside of the closet door and put the flats on the floor below them. Then she walked over to her dresser and pulled out a white nylon training bra, a white pair of nylon panties and a pair of semi-sheer nylon tights just like all of the girls were wearing! Kris was nervous, but his excitement was overpowering his fears for the moment.

Before long, Kris was dressed completely as a girl, including jewelry, light makeup and red nail polish. Carin did his hair just like hers and made Kris pretty.

When she was done, she walked him over to her full length mirror. Kris took one look at himself and almost cried. He looked as pretty as the rest of the girls! He was so happy that he gave Carin a big hug.

“Oh, my God! I look so pretty! I had no idea I could look so pretty! Carin, thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome, Kris.” She giggled at my gushing. “Say, you know what?”

“What?”

“Well, if you want to we can pick a girl’s name for you.”

“Okay! Let’s do that!” Kris’ face brightened.

“Do you have any idea what name you’d like to use?”

“Not really, no.” Kris’ blush returned with a vengeance.

“Okay, how about… Kristina?”

“I like that! Will you call me Tina for short?”

“Okay, sure! Well, Tina, we agreed to stay here for a few minutes so you can see how you feel before we go upstairs, so let’s hang out here for a bit.”

“Yeah, let’s.”

“So how does it feel?”

“Well, I love this so far. It feels really good. I don’t know why, but it does.”

“How do you feel about going upstairs?”

“I want to go upstairs and be with the other girls, but I’m really nervous.”

“Remember, we’re swearing them to secrecy.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just… nervous.” I stood there looking at myself and smiling. “But, I don’t know how else to figure out if I’m a boy or a girl. How am I supposed to know if I don’t try it?”

“I don’t know.”

Tina looked at herself in the mirror one last time.

“I think it will help for me to go upstairs. I couldn’t really tell you why, but I just… I have a feeling.” Tina paused as she stared at herself and finally turned around to face Carin. “And that’s why I have to do this. Come on, let’s go upstairs.”

“Okay! Let’s go!”

They walked down the hall and up the stairs arm in arm. Carin had Tina wait in the hall outside the playroom while she went in to give Sara the heads-up about their little plan. It was only a few seconds before Carin and Sara came back out to see her. When Sara saw her, she gasped and quietly giggled with glee.

“Hi, Tina! Oh my God, you look adorable!” Sara gave her a big hug. “So you’ve decided to spend some time as a girl to figure things out, huh?”

“Yes, I have. I really need some answers and I don’t know what else to do. So, let’s do this.”

“Okay.”

“Wow, they’re going to be surprised to see me like this, huh?”

We all giggled.

“They certainly will! But I think everyone will handle it okay — and Tina?”

“Yes?”

“We love you no matter what you find out, okay?”

Tina smiled brightly at Sara and gave her a big hug.

“Thanks, Sara! I needed to hear that!”

“I thought you might. Okay, Tina. Carin and I swear not to tell anyone outside this house about this and we’re going in to swear in the others now.”

“Okay.”

Sara and Carin went back into the playroom and got everyone’s attention. They left the door open this time and Tina could hear what they said.

“Okay, girls, we have something very special to show you, but before we tell you what it is, we have to ask you to swear that everything that’s about to happen stays in this house. Can everyone swear to that?”

“Yes.”

“Sure!”

“Yeah, of course!”

“Great! Then we’re unanimous. Okay, now we can tell you what this is about. Actually, there will be some explaining to do, so it’s probably easier to show you first. Girls, we would love you to meet Tina. Come on in, Tina!”

“Who’s Tina?” Melissa wondered aloud.

Tina took a deep breath, let it out slowly and walked into the playroom.

“I am.”

“Girls, this is Tina.”

“Hi, everyone!” I gave them a quick wave with one hand. They all got up and clustered around me.

“Hi, Tina. Merry Christmas! I’m Angelica and this is-” She recognized Tina and froze. “Oh, my God!” She paused for a moment, making sure she had it right. “Kris?”

Now Melissa gasped.

“No way! Kris? Is that really you?”

Kris knew he was at the hour of judgment. That moment would decide whether he would ever have any hope of being Melissa’s… what? Boyfriend or girlfriend? Oh God!

“Yes, Melissa. It’s me. But tonight, my name is Tina.” Tina couldn’t help smiling as she said it.

“Oh my God, Kris really is dressed as a girl!” Sabrina exclaimed.

Tina blushed ferociously while the girls all laughed. She was surprised to find herself laughing right along with them and holding her head up.

“Yes, Sabrina. I am dressed as a girl for the night.”

“Well, my goodness, Tina, you sure do look pretty, but why do you want to be a girl for the night?” Melissa asked.

Tina looked down at her white, nylon legs while she thought for a moment.

“I think it’s really sad that when a boy dresses as a girl, people ask why he would want to do that, like there’s something wrong with girls or boys are supposed to be better or something. I’ve heard the same old argument so many times that boys aren’t supposed to want to dress as a girl, but why not? Why shouldn’t I want to dress as a girl? Is there something bad about girls?”

Angelica got a look of cautious annoyance on her face.

“No, there isn’t anything bad about girls.”

“Of course there isn’t, Angelica! My point is that everybody thinks it’s such a bad thing for a boy to dress as a girl but it doesn’t make any sense to feel that way unless you think there’s something bad about girls.”

“I guess you’re right, Tina. So that’s why you’re doing this? To stick up for girls?”

“Well, I really do believe in everything I just said, but actually, no, Melissa. That’s not why I’m doing this.”

“Then…?”

“I’m doing this because…” Tina took another deep breath, wondering if she should finish answering the question. She looked around the room and found openness in each face. “I think, um… I think I might… I might be a girl… on the inside. I’m hoping that spending the rest of the night as a girl will help me figure it out.”

“What do you mean, Tina?”

Tina explained to the rest of the girls what she had explained to Carin and they understood what she meant. They readily agreed that she never was like the other boys and they had always enjoyed having Tina around even when they did not want boys around.

“I guess you’re right. You’re really not a boy. Maybe you are a girl. I think it’s a great idea for you to try it for the night and see.” Melissa smiled at Tina brightly.

“Thanks, Melissa!”

“You’re welcome.” She grabbed Tina’s hand. “Ready for some more Pictionary?”

“Sure.” Tina smiled at her.

They resumed their games and for the first time in her life, Tina forgot that she wasn’t born female. She felt wonderful being with the other girls as one of them until her balloon was burst at the sound of her mother’s voice emanating from the playroom door.

“Hi, kids! Dessert is about to be… served downstairs…” she stammered as she looked around the room. “Where’s Kris? And who are you, sweetheart?”

“Hi, Mom.” Tina gave her mother a bashful smile.

“Kris?” Her mouth opened as she slowly approached her and took her hands. She looked around the room full of girls before she continued. “Honey? What’s going on?”

Tina took a deep breath before she answered her mother.

“I asked Carin to dress me up like this because… I’m confused, Mom.” Tina’s emotions welled up and tears leaked down her cheeks. She sniffled as she mustered the nerve to finish her explanation. “I might be a girl. I don’t even know how that’s possible. I just… know… that I might be a girl. Everything about being a girl feels right and everything about being a boy feels wrong.”

Tina’s mother hugged her without answering, and Tina sensed that she was at a loss for words. At length, she pulled away and smiled at Tina.

“Well, this is certainly… unexpected and all, but… I love you just the way you are, honey. Your father will, too.” She hugged Tina again and Tina was too emotional to reply. “But, we really do need to look into this. If you’re having this problem then I want us to address it however we have to. I don’t want you to go through life suffering. I think that we should find a specialist to talk to about this.”

“Y-you think I need help?”

“Oh, not that way honey. Not the way someone crazy needs help. We all know that you are not crazy. I only think that you could use some help understanding yourself, that’s all.”

“Oh. In that case, you’re right. We should find someone to talk to.”

“All right. We will do that. For now, however,” Mary smiled at Tina, “let’s go have some dessert, okay?”

“Okay.”

Tina’s mother took her hand and Melissa took her other one. Together, they walked downstairs to the dining room, where the adults were bringing out the pumpkin pie.

* * *

“It looks like she’s finding acceptance. Why does she want to kill herself?” Gloria queried Clarence.

“Something is about to go wrong that will make her believe there’s no other way.”

“Isn’t there anything we can do?”

“Yes, we can help Tina when she needs it the most.”

“When do we get started?”

“Not quite yet. There’s one more thing you must see first.”

* * *

When Tina walked into the dining room, flanked by her mother and Melissa, everyone stopped and stared at her.

Well, here we go.

“Oh, hello there. Uh, Mary, who’s our guest?” Tina’s father diplomatically asked his wife before suddenly looking around the room. “Hey, where’s Kris?”

“Everyone,” my mother looked around, “this is Tina. Normally, you know her as Kris, but tonight, she’s doing some exploring to… help herself answer a question she’s been struggling with.”

Tina’s father stared at her with his eyes bulging and his fists clenched.

“Richard, is there a problem?” Mary asked him. For a long, uncomfortable moment, Richard was silent. “Honey?” My mother gently prompted him as she put a hand on his arm.
But he pulled his arm away, keeping his eyes on Tina.

“Tina, um…” His breath was rapid and shallow. “We… we thought this might happen and… we’ve looked into a few things, but…” He was nearing hyperventilation as he turned to his wife. “Honey, we can’t pay for any surgery — and new clothes! My God!” He put one hand on his forehead. “All of that together costs thousands and thousands of dollars and we just can’t afford it! We can’t even afford many Christmas presents this year! We’re… we’re barely making it!”

Tina stared at her father with a horrible feeling pervading her. She knew that her parents were having financial trouble but she had no idea just how bad it was. What if she really was a girl — and what if she needed the surgery? What would they do?

“Richard, honey, we’ll find a way. We always have.” Mary put a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Why now, Tina? Why couldn’t you have figured this out years ago? Why now?” Richard’s agitation increased.

“Richard, she wouldn’t be allowed to have any surgery until she’s eighteen. That’s five years away. We have some time to prepare for this, honey,” Mary tried to soothe him.

“But what about clothes? What if she wants to dress like a girl all the time? We can not buy her a new wardrobe!”

“She can share my clothes,” Carin offered.

“Aw, aren’t you sweet!” Mary stroked Carin’s cheek. “But you don’t have to do that. If Tina discovers that she needs to be a girl — and that’s still a big ‘if’ right now - then I will get a job and go back to work. All right, Richard? We’ll be okay.”

“Honey, we’re in a recession and the job market is awful! You might have trouble going back to work. What do we do then?”

“Richard, please, maybe we should talk in your den, all right?” Mary tried to diffuse the situation.

But Richard was too wound up. He took a step toward Tina.

“How can you do this to me?? How??”

“I’m sorry, Daddy!” Tina sobbed.

“Go upstairs and take those clothes off — and get this idea of being a girl right out of your head because we can not afford it! Go! Right now!”

“Dad, stop it, goddamn it!” Sara yelled at him. “It’s not her fault! She can’t help it!”

Tina stood there trembling and in shock, staring at the pain in her father’s face with tears rolling down her eyes. She did not want to go back upstairs and dress as a boy. She was miserable as a boy.

I would rather die than go back to being a boy!

And suddenly everything was clear to Tina. She stared off into space as her mind spun out of control.

Oh my God! I am a girl! I really am! Oh, God, I’m a girl! What am I going to do? Dad won’t let me be a girl! I’m stuck as a boy forever!

“It’s really all right, Tina.” Mary gently rubbed her shoulder.

“Don’t use that name!” My father yelled.

“Dad, stop it!” Carin screeched at him.

“It’s going to be okay, Tina. Really.” Melissa tried to soothe her by wrapping her arms around her.

It will never be okay! Never! I should have been born a girl in the first place — or even a normal boy! It’s never going to work like this! Ever!

Tina broke away from Melissa and bolted. She ripped the front door open, slammed it behind her, and fled the house in blind despair.

* * *

Tina was so distraught that she didn’t think to grab a coat on her way out — or suitable shoes. The snow was beginning to stick to the sidewalk and her patent leather flats slipped on the snow as she ran. Falling snowflakes stung her face and melted until she could no longer distinguish between them and her tears.

She made her way to a bridge across a deep ravine a mile from her house and stopped mid-span, panting for breath. The sub-freezing wind blew right through her dress and her semi-sheer tights offered next to no protection, but she didn’t care. She was done. Her life had reached a bitter, merciless end.

I’m only thirteen, but… thirteen years of this is enough!

Struggling with overwhelming confusion had been bad on its own, but finding her true self only to discover that she could never be whole was too much.

She walked close to the concrete rail overlooking the ravine and peered over the edge at the icy creek lined with jagged rocks a hundred feet below.

That will do it.

Tina climbed up on the rail and sat on it, preparing herself to jump, but before she could garner the nerve, she glimpsed a bright light next to her. It grabbed her attention and she turned abruptly to look at it. The bright glow had the familiar shape of a woman standing there, smiling at her.

Tina lost her balance and her butt slipped off the rail — thankfully, away from the river. She ended up clinging to the rail with her hands and her knees as though she’d fallen into a trash can.

Tina’s mind was frozen like the river as she stared at the woman who had mysteriously shown up. The woman could probably be seen for a mile even through the snow and Tina wondered how she could have missed that woman approaching her. It was almost as though she’d materialized right there.

Tina slowly extricated herself from the rail and stood up.

“Tina, I know what you were about to do. Please believe me when I tell you that you don’t need to do that.”

For a moment, Tina was indignant.

“H-how the hell do you know what I was going to do?”

Gloria merely smiled for a moment, waiting for the realization to hit Tina.

“What a minute! How did you know my name? It’s not even my real name! I just started using it tonight! How did you know??”

“Tina, my name is Gloria, and I am an angel.”

“An angel? What-?” Tina broke off as her jaw slowly hung open. “Oh, my God! I jumped, didn’t I? I’m dead! That’s it, isn’t it?”

Tina hurried over to the rail and stuck her head over the edge. She glanced down and saw only the river. There was nobody down there.

“No, Tina, you didn’t jump — and you’re not dead.”

Tina’s face darkened.

“Oh, then stay out of my way.”

Tina turned away and began climbing onto the rail.

“Tina, I know how desolate you feel right now, but you’re right where you’re supposed to be in life.”

Tina jumped down to the sidewalk and gawped at Gloria.

“What, you mean standing on a bridge freezing my ass off and preparing to jump to my death? I’m supposed to be here?”

“That’s not at all what I meant.” Gloria gave her a patient smile.

“Well… then…” Tina stammered.

“I meant that you found your true self. Right on time.”

“On time?? This is the worst possible time!! My parents are having terrible financial problems!! They can’t afford for me to become a whole human being!! My father went ballistic when he saw me dressed like this!! I should have found this out years ago!! That’s what my father said!!”

“Your father is only worried about being able to provide for his family. He loves you very much.”

“No, he doesn’t! He didn’t even tell me that he loves me! He just told me he can’t afford me!” Fresh tears slid down Tina’s cheeks as she pointed a defiant glare at Gloria.

“That’s just his stress talking. He doesn’t understand yet, but he will come around, if you just give him the time.”

For a moment, Tina was silent as she digested everything she was hearing.

“Is that why you’re here? To help him?”

“No, he has his own angel. I’m here to help you.”

“Me??”

“Yes. You’re the one who wants to take her own life.”

“W-well… there’s nothing else I can do. My father won’t let me be a girl. I’m stuck as a boy until I die. I couldn’t live with being confused anymore, but now? Now that I know I’m a girl but will never be one? Come on! That’s just… it’s just too much! Just… just let me die in peace, will you?”

“Won’t you let me help you?”

“You can’t help me. Nobody can.”

“That’s not true. I can — and I will.” She smiled at Tina.

“How can you possibly help me?”

“I can show you what your life would have been like if you had been born differently.”

“Really?” Tina paused for a moment. “Seriously?”

“Yes. Absolutely.”

“All right.” Tina looked at her blankly, too emotionally spent for any expression. “Show me.”

“It’ll be my pleasure.” Gloria smiled at Tina. “First, I’ll show you what your life would have been like if you had been born a normal boy.”

“You mean if I had never been confused about my gender?”

“Yes, exactly.”

“Okay. I’d like to see it. Not that it’ll do any good.”

“Trust me,” Gloria smiled at Tina.

* * *

Gloria turned Tina around and she found herself standing in her own living room. It looked exactly as it had when she was a small child.

“What the… this is my house. What are we doing back here?”

“Aside from the fact that you live here,” Gloria chuckled good-naturedly, “we’re here to watch.”

“Watch what?” Tina asked, only to have her own question answered when her father came down the front stairs wearing a pair of dark green pants and a dark red sweater. He looked very festive.

“Wow, my dad looks ten years younger. Did you do that?” Tina whispered.

“There’s no need to whisper. They can’t see us or hear us.”

“Oh. Good to know. So did you do all this?”

“No, I didn’t do any of it. We’re both just watching.”

He went over to the mantle to stoke up the fire. As he went about the business, the roaring fire crackled loudly. A tiny, hot ember escaped from the fire and landed in the cuff of his pant leg, setting it on fire.

“Oh shit!!” He grabbed a book from the coffee table behind him and beat at the flames until they were out.

“Honey? What’s going on?”

Tina’s mother dashed into the room holding two three-year-olds, a boy and a girl. She was soon followed by a five year old girl.

“Look at Carin and me! We’re so young - and that’s Sara following her! But why are we so young?”

“This was Christmas Day of 1999.”

“And this is the earliest Christmas I can remember! I think my dad burning his pants really made it stick in my memory!”

“You’re probably right. But keep watching.”

“I just burned my pants! Can you believe that?” Richard chuckled.

“Oh for God sakes, Richard! Well, go change. We’ll wait for you!” Mary giggled.

Richard went upstairs to change his pants and came back down wearing some navy corduroy pants. He still looked handsome, if a tad less festive.

The family sat down in the living room and began opening gifts. Tina watched her sisters open presents that turned out to be dolls. She remembered seeing those dolls and wishing she could play with them.

Then little Kris opened a gift and held up a toy Hummer about the size of a paperback novel. It was painted army green and had various military markings on it. He loved it and thanked his parents profusely before he plunked down on the floor to play with it.

“What in the hell is he doing? I hated that thing! I-I tried to throw it across the room because it wasn’t a doll!” Tina watched, stunned, as little Kris gleefully enjoyed his new toy car. “Look at me, Gloria! I’m loving that thing!”

“You certainly are,” Gloria smiled at me.

“But… but, that’s not me!” Tina looked at Gloria with a puzzled look on her face.

“No, it isn’t, is it? You see, in this reality, you never doubted that you were a boy and you were just like the rest.”

“But I’m so… so different!”

“Of course you are. If you had been born a normal boy, you would be someone else!”

“I guess so.” Tina stared at Kris before finally turning to Gloria. “So what else do you want to show me?”

“Well, there’s more of this Christmas for you to see.”

Gloria put her hand on Tina’s shoulder and they were in the playroom, just like that.

* * *

Gloria and Tina saw the three children playing with their new toys. Their parents were downstairs cleaning up after unwrapping presents and preparing the house before their guests arrived for Christmas dinner.

Sara had received a set of wooden building blocks and she had built herself a castle while Carin pretended her newest Barbie doll was a construction worker — skimpy dress, heels and all.

The castle was the strange sort of design that only a five year old would come up with, but Sara had put a lot of effort into it and it was nearly as tall as she was.

“Oh, I remember this!” Tina happily informed Gloria. “But, look, I’m not playing with my sisters like I remember!”

“It gets even better. Uh oh! Here comes Kris!”

Kris rolled his new toy Hummer across the floor toward Sara’s castle.

“No, Kris!” She shouted. “Dooooon’t!”

Carin just sat there and watched.

“Don’t, Kris!” Sara whined.

“Stop it, Kris!” Carin chimed in.

Tina looked on in astonishment as he deliberately smashed the car into Sara’s castle. The whole thing collapsed and one block bounced off of his head. He laughed, but Sara shrieked at him furiously and Carin crossed her little arms at him.

“You asshole!” Sara scolded.

“What is going on up here?” Mary’s voice wafted through the door, preceding her by a few seconds. “And Sara, where on earth did you learn that word?”

Her question was answered when Richard walked by in the hallway, engaged in heated conversation, and called someone an asshole over the phone.

“I see.” Mary softly glared at Richard.

“Mommy, Kris wrecked my castle! Can you please get him out of here?”

Tina looked at Gloria with bewilderment all over her face.

“I don’t understand, Gloria. I remember this clearly. Not only did I not knock her castle over, but I even played with them. We played with a few dolls and pretended they were princesses. I never once played with that toy Hummer. And, Gloria, my sisters don’t even like me in this reality! What happened?”

“You were a normal boy. You didn’t get along with your sisters because you had nothing in common. Your first several years were dotted with spats, but it got better. Come, let’s have a look at another Christmas.”

Gloria touched Tina’s shoulder again and delivered them both back to the living room.

* * *

Tina heard piano music and remembered banging out a very basic version of Jingle Bells while Sara brought presents into the living room from beneath the Christmas tree. She arranged the gifts in piles according to where the family members were sitting. She was wearing a bathrobe and a pair of gold stud earrings in the shape of Christmas trees.

“I remember those!” Tina gasped in delight. “That was the year she got her ears pierced. She was ten and I was eight, so this was… 2004.”

“Yes.”

“You know, it was really funny. She persuaded Mom to let her get her ears pierced as an early Christmas present and she chose those Christmas tree studs because they looked cool for the holiday. Of course, you can’t take them out for a while, so she got razzed at school when she continued to wear those earrings into February. Then she talked my mom into getting her a second pair and helping her switch them.” Tina couldn’t help but giggle. “So where’s the rest of the family?”

“Here they are now.” Gloria smiled.

The parents entered the room with Carin and Kris in tow. Mary had her short haircut then. It was the last time she had a short hair cut.

Tina watched her family settle in and begin opening presents. The girls received clothes and Tina could still feel the envy as she watched. But Kris merely yawned.

“What the…?” Tina trailed off.

When Kris opened his gifts, he was overjoyed with the Swiss army knife and the eight-inch tall GI Joe figure he received. It came with a gun that made shooting sounds and he made tons of use of it — to the point that his father had to ask him to put it down for a while.

“Oh my…!” Tina’s jaw dropped from her face. “I didn’t play with it that way! Hell, I lost the gun that morning and never bothered looking for it. I-I didn’t even touch that stupid thing until after we went upstairs and even then, he took Carin’s Barbie to the dance and married her!”

“Oh? Let’s have a look.”

“Do I really want to?” Tina asked hesitantly.

“It’s nothing you won’t survive.” Gloria smiled at her.

“All right then. Let’s go.”

They turned around and were back in the playroom. This time, Sara and Carin played with dolls, just as Tina remembered, but young Kris was off by himself.

“Bang! Bang! Bang! Pf-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f!”

Tina’s eyes bugged out as she watched him shooting off that damned gun and throwing Sara’s old building blocks like pretend grenades at a crude castle he built with the rest of them. He smashed the castle and rejoiced when it was destroyed.

“My God, he’s playing war for Christ sake!” Tina shrieked.

“Why not? That’s fairly typical of a boy his age, isn’t it?”

“Gloria, I don’t know who this kid is, but… this is not me!”

“No, it’s not. Come on. There’s one more Christmas to show you.”

“Okay. Will you hold my hand?” Tina asked nervously.

“Sure.” Gloria smiled as she took Tina’s hand and returned her downstairs.

* * *

Tina had fully expected to find herself standing in the living room, but this time, she and Gloria were in the foyer as Mary came out to answer the door. On the hall table was the new angel sculpture she had bought in the current year.

“We’re in the present now?”

“Yes, Tina. You are about to watch what would have happened this Christmas if you’d been a normal boy.”

“Okay.”

Mary answered the door and the Stones came inside. Angelica and Sabrina walked into the living room. Tina could see Kris sitting in there with his sisters and the Blake girls. Melissa was on a couch and Tina watched Kris grab the empty spot next to her, ostensibly to make room for the Stone girls. Tina saw right through his little ploy to get close to Melissa.

He and Melissa chatted and Tina noticed right away that he did not look at the girls and their clothes as Kris always had — and he wasn’t looking at Melissa’s face either!

“Oh my God, I’m staring at her boobs! Am I even listening to her?” Tina squealed to Gloria.

“That I cannot tell you,” Gloria admitted. “But I doubt it.”

“Hey! Eyes up here, butthead!” Melissa scolded the little lecher sitting next to her as she crossed her arms.

“Oh, I-I’m sorry.” He apologized genuinely.

“Gawd, Kris! Why don’t I just set you up on a date with my breasts?”

The other girls in the room laughed at Melissa’s crack.

“Uh… sure.” He was looking at her boobs again until he abruptly looked up at her and closed his eyes for a moment.

“I’m sorry, Melissa. I guess I just got… carried away. You’re a… beautiful girl.”

Melissa blushed, but the compliment was delivered in the wrong context for the wrong reason and thus was not well received.

“Whatever, just… stop being such a total guy, will you?” She got up and moved to an easy chair closer to the other girls.

Gloria looked at Tina and Tina stared back, completely flabbergasted.

“Is that all he sees in her? I mean, sure, she has a beautiful body, but… is that all he sees?”

“It’s what he sees first, yes. He does like who she is as well, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that, well, he is a normal boy and normal boys do have an unfortunate weakness when it comes to the female body.”

“I guess so.” Tina sighed sadly at the way Kris had treated Melissa. It truly pained her.

“Do I have to watch any more of this?”

“Only one more scene. Come.” Gloria held out her hand. Tina took it and found that they were standing in the dining room on the same Christmas night.

Most of those present were seated at the table and Kris was about to sit down across from Melissa. She was chatting with Sabrina, who sat next to her.

Kris’ fork slipped off his plate — along with a glob of sweet potatoes - and made a small mess on the floor. After he picked up his fork, he bent down with his napkin to clean up the mess. The table cloth hung only a foot below the table and younger Kris suddenly found himself with a clear view up Melissa’s skirt.

Instead of discretely ignoring the twist of fate, he lingered under the table, staring up her skirt until Sabrina gently nudged Melissa and pointed at him.

Melissa gasped loudly and slammed her knees together, sitting bolt upright in her chair.

“Kris!!” Melissa uttered.

He banged his head as he rapidly stood.

“Were you looking up my skirt?” She accused him.

“Busted.” Sabrina looked at him with her eyebrows raised and zero warmth in her face.

“What? No! I-I was just cleaning up-”

“You were not!! You looked up my skirt!!” Melissa huffed as she glared at him.

His mother stepped up to him with her arms crossed and ordered him to switch seats with her.

“I am sorry about that, Melissa. I hope you weren’t humiliated.” Mary told her.

“Oh, I’m… fine.” Melissa excused herself and headed for the bathroom. Becca got up and went after her, glaring at Kris as she passed him.

“Kristopher Nicholas Jayne! Are you proud of yourself?” His mother reprimanded him. “Honestly! I taught you better than that!”

To Tina’s surprise, he looked glumly at the table. She could see that he felt awful and yet, there was something in his expression that troubled Tina. He was truly sorry that he’d embarrassed Melissa, but he was not sorry that he’d looked up her skirt!

Tina was in tears as she observed his actions toward Melissa. Tina knew he had embarrassed her and generally hurt her by the way he mistreated her. She realized that she would have seen things as he did if she had been a normal boy, but that was no excuse.

Melissa clearly didn’t like him — and Tina didn’t blame her! Tina covered her face with her hands and cried.

“Gloria, I don’t want to see any more of this! Please! I can’t watch myself treat Melissa that way! Please don’t make me!”

“I won’t. We’re going back now.”

Tina felt freezing all over and realized she was shivering, but she couldn’t open her eyes. She couldn’t watch any more.

* * *

Tina felt the snow grazing her bare fingers and finally opened her eyes. She realized that they were out on the bridge again.

“Well, there you have it. You now know what life would have been like for you if you had been born a normal boy, free of gender confusion.”

“Um. Pass?” Tina tried to smile at Gloria while she shivered in the falling snow.

“I thought so.”

“But nothing’s changed, Gloria!” Tina sighed heavily. “I should have been born a girl! My life is still all wrong. It will never work!”

Gloria glanced up at the sky for a moment and smiled at Tina.

“Well, I’ll you what. I’m going to show you what your life would have been like if you had been born a girl. Would you like to see?”

“I don’t know… it would probably just hurt too much to know what I’ve been missing.”

“You have my word that it will be good for you to see it. What do you say?”

Tina studied Gloria’s face and made her decision.

“All right. Let’s go.”

“Splendid! This way, please.”

With a smile, Gloria turned them around and…

* * *

…they were back in the living room, watching Richard come down the stairs in his dark green pants.

“Oh, are we, um, starting over?”

“Sort of. Christmas morning of 1999 would have been different if you’d been a girl. Take a look!”

The scene repeated itself again as Richard’s pants caught fire. Tina giggled at him this time.

“Honey? What’s going on?”

Mary dashed into the room, holding two identically dressed three-year-old girls with a five-year-old girl at her side.

“I just burned my pants! Can you believe that?” Richard chuckled.

“Oh for God sakes, Richard! Well, go change. We’ll wait for you!” Mary giggled.

“Who is my mother holding? That’s Carin, but who-”

“Why, that’s you, of course! You were born a girl in this reality, remember?”

“Oh, yeah. Wow! So this is what it could have been like?” Tina asked with a hitch in her voice and a tear rolling down her face.

“Yes, this what it would have been like.”

“Look at me! I just love that little red dress and the white tights are so perfect! I even have little pigtails! Oh, why couldn’t this have been my life, Gloria?” I asked her with tears in my eyes.

“Keep watching, Tina. The answer will be clear soon.”

“All right, you two. You sit right here on this couch while Daddy changes his pants — Erin, don’t open that yet! Wait for Daddy, okay?” Mary chortled at her little angel as she reached out for one of her gifts.

“Erin? I thought that was me.”

“It is you. Your parents would have named you Erin.”

“Oh. They never told me that.” Tina mused. "I guess they thought it would embarrass me."

Richard stepped back into the room, and they sat down to open presents. Carin and Sara got their dolls again, but Erin’s gift was a surprise. It was a book about a little girl who flew a spaceship.

“What? She didn’t get a doll like her sisters?” Tina asked Gloria.

“No, she was always scientifically minded. She loves books and puzzles and figuring out how things work — not that she can understand much at her young age.”

“Wow. She’s so different from me.”

“Yes, she is. Take a look at this.”

They turned around and they were in the playroom.

* * *

Carin and Sara were playing with blocks and dolls, but Erin was playing with a plastic set of mixing cups.

“Erin, want to play with us?” Sara asked.

“Okay.” She came over and played with them, using more blocks to make a backyard while the other two pretended their dolls were princesses.

Soon, Mom came into the room to check up on them.

“Are you girls all ready for our guests?”

“Yes, Mom.”

Richard walked by in the hallway again, talking heatedly on the phone and calling someone an asshole. Tina giggled at her father. He was evidently as good a role model in this reality as any other.

“Gloria, I love this so far! I’m a girl and I’m getting along with my sisters…” Tina trailed off and Gloria merely smiled at her. “But… I’m not really playing with them. I’m kind of doing my own thing while they play princess. Why is that?”

“Well, they have imaginations that are good for fantasy and pretend, whereas Erin has a mind for building things and experimenting.”

“Huh. Okay.” Tina paused for a moment. “As long as I’m a girl.”

* * *

Gloria brought them back to the living room to see Christmas of 2004 one last time. Sara walked into the room with her Christmas tree earrings and Erin followed her in to help her arrange the presents.

“Come on, Erin! Put Mom’s presents near that couch and Dad’s can go next to that chair.”

“Okay!”

“Awww, they’re so cute! Why am I getting the feeling that I missed out?” Tina chided Gloria.

“But are you?”

“Well…”

The two girls continued sorting the Christmas gifts while they waited for their parents to join them. They seemed happy, but Tina realized that something was missing from Erin.

“Wait a minute! I was sitting at the piano and banging out the limited songs I knew while
Sara put out the presents. Doesn’t Erin know how to play piano?”

“No, she doesn’t. She doesn’t have the musical aptitude that you do. As I said, she is more of a scientific mind.”

Tina looked back at her as she sat down in her favorite spot.

“How strange that she doesn’t play piano,” Tina murmured. “That’s so sad.”

“Yes, it is.”

The rest of the family came into the living room and sat down to open presents. Tina was almost bored watching her sisters open the gifts containing their new clothes which Tina had already seen — now for the third time.

But then Erin opened her gifts and received a set of binoculars.

“So much for GI Joe — and good riddance, too!” Tina glanced at Gloria, who merely smiled at her.

“Cool!” Erin exclaimed. “I really wanted these for bird watching! Thank you!” She carefully put down her binoculars and hugged her parents.

“Well, that’s pretty neat. I like birds, too. I guess that’s at least one thing we have in common.”

“Mmm hmm. Come on. There’s more to see.”

* * *

Gloria brought Tina upstairs to the playroom, where Carin and Sara were playing with dolls. Erin was standing at the window, with her new binoculars around her neck. There were few birds that time of year, but she seemed to find enough to look at.

“She’s off by herself. In the other reality, I was by myself playing war, of all things, and here I’m also by myself trying to find birds.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“It’s so weird. She’s… someone else, Gloria. She isn’t me.”

“Of course she isn’t! If you had been born female, the differences would not have been limited to female anatomy.”

“You’re right. I guess I never thought of that.”

“Well, that’s perfectly all right. Come, there’s one more Christmas to see.”

“All right.”

* * *

They turned around and wound up standing in the foyer as Mary came out of the kitchen to answer the door. This time, thirteen-year-old Erin came down the stairs and Tina was astonished at her appearance. Erin wore black slacks and a red turtle-neck sweater. She wore no makeup and her hair was barely longer than a boy’s.

“I cut my hair? When the hell did I cut my hair??” Tina gawped.

“A couple of years back. Erin would rather experiment with test tubes than hair claws. She keeps herself busy and has no time to fuss with her appearance. A few years back, she went out and got herself a practical haircut and never looked back.”

“But, Gloria… I love my hair!” Tina fingered her locks. “I never, ever had it that short! I-it was never shorter than my chin! Now look at her! I mean, she looks cute and all, but… she’s not… me.”

“No, she’s not. Look.” Gloria gestured toward the living room, where seven girls sat together and chatted.

Melissa seemed much closer to Sabrina than she did to Erin. Tina could see that, at best, Melissa and Erin were friends. Erin clearly felt as strongly about Melissa as Tina did, but there was no sign at all that Melissa was attracted to Erin.

“Uh, Gloria? Melissa doesn’t like me this way any more than she liked Kris as a normal boy. At least she talked to him! She’s not at all interested in Erin.”

“You’re right.” Gloria smiled knowingly.

Tina felt numb as she considered this life bereft of her music, her long hair and Melissa’s affection.

* * *

Gloria moved Tina to the dining room, where they observed Christmas dinner again. Erin was seated at the other end of the table from Melissa for no other reason than preference.

Erin stole periodic glances at Melissa and Tina could see how she pined for her. Tina thought about Melissa touching her under the table upstairs and had the sinking feeling that Melissa never touched Erin that way.

Tina stood there brooding, tears running down her face as she watched her family eat. She felt heartbroken about Erin’s life and grateful that she wasn’t Erin.

“I’ve seen enough. This is not my life either. None of my life works unless I’m me. I wouldn’t have related to my sisters as any one else and Melissa only wants me the way I am! I want my old life, Gloria. I want to be me — and I want Melissa!” Tina turned around and leaned her elbows on the credenza against the wall. She buried her face in her hands and cried.

“I love Melissa! I love her!”

* * *

“I love Melissa! I love Melissa!” Tina cried.

She felt two warm arms wrap themselves around her.

“I love you, too.” Melissa whispered in her ear.

Tina opened her eyes and found herself standing on the bridge with her elbows on the railing. She wondered where Gloria had gone and looked around. She spotted her just down the street peeking out at her from behind a tree before she waved and disappeared. Tina smiled at Gloria and at her newfound certainty that she had turned out just the way she should have.

“Ooh, you’re freezing! Come here!” Melissa opened her coat and wrapped it around Tina. She turned around, still sharing Melissa’s coat with her and slid her arms around her.
Tina looked behind Melissa and saw Melissa’s father waiting in their idling car and talking on his cellphone. Tina’s eyes gravitated back to Melissa’s.

“You came to get me!” Tina croaked.

“Of course.” She smiled and then surprised Tina by kissing her right on the mouth. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

Tina kissed her back.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

* * *

Mary opened the door and threw her arms around Tina.

“Tina! Thank God! It’s below freezing out there and you left without a coat! I was worried you’d freeze to death!”

“I’m sorry I worried you.”

“Well, as long as you’re safe, honey, it’s all right.”

“Hi, princess.”

Tina’s heart was flooded with trepidation at the sound of her father’s voice. She turned around in horror and watched him walk in through the front door.

Wait! Did he just call me ‘Princess’? Is this one of Gloria’s alternate realities? What’s happening?

“Hi, Dad.” Tina peered up at him nervously.

He looked at her for a moment, bent down and hugged her tightly.

“Tina, honey, I am so sorry I said those things. I’ve been so stressed out about money and I… I panicked. I wasn’t thinking. I was a big, fat jerk.” He looked at her with tenderness in his face, but Tina realized that she still had a major problem.

“Mom? Dad? I really am a girl. What are we going to do?”

“It’s like your mother said, Tina. If it turns out that you need the surgery, then we will find a way to make it happen — and we will be all right. Please don’t worry about that.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“I love you very, very much, no matter what. Okay?”

“Okay.” Tina smiled and hugged her father as a tear escaped from her eye.

“Can you find it in your heart to forgive me for hurting you the way I did?”

Tina studied her father’s face for a moment and decided that… well, it was Christmas.

“Yes, I forgive you.”

“Thank you, princess. I really am sorry we only have one small Christmas gift each this year.” He hung his head miserably.

“Dad? I have a family who loves me and accepts me the way I am. I have good friends,” Tina looked around the room until her eyes rested on Melissa, “and I have the love of a wonderful girl. I don’t need any presents. I have all I need.”

“Oh, I am so proud of you.” He hugged her again. “Come on and have a seat by the fire. You must be freezing. Why don’t we all have a little pumpkin pie in the living room? How’s that?” Richard rubbed his hands together.

“Sounds good to me.” Tina smiled.

“Tina?” Melissa gently put her hand on Tina’s arm.

“Yes?” Tina smiled at her nervously.

“You’re still the only one for me.”

“Even though we’re only thirteen?”

“You just wait,” she smiled. “We’re going to be together a long time.” She kissed Tina again. “I can tell.”

* * *

Just before Tina turned out her lights for the night, she looked at herself in her mirror. She wore a pink nightgown that she had borrowed from Carin and her hair was freed from its usual pony tail. She stared at her reflection and smiled at what she saw.

“That’s much better!”

She turned off the light and went to bed.

THE END

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

2009-12-22 05:39:50 -0500

Plague of Night

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

Verse, Poetry, Lyric

Genre:

Romance

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Plague of Night
By MonaLisa

Plague of night so blights the soul
And weighs upon the weary mind
Stars in moonless skies remind
Of boundless void that swallows whole

Sparkling, shining starlight seems
So far away and out of reach
The soul is left but to beseech
The fates to grant her fervent dreams

The faithful soul does ever sing
Her lonesome serenade reprise
Yearning for the sun to rise
And dawn's sweet light and warmth to bring

----------

I wrote this poem a few years ago and it still is relevant to me. I just read Drea DiMaggio's Empty Arms and she has inspired me to share some of my poems, too. Enjoy!

Lisa

[ Other Works By Mona Lisa ]

She Need But Breathe

Author:

Mona Lisa

MonaLisa's blog

Taxonomy upgrade extras:

General Audience (pg)

She Need But Breathe

A lonesome woman on her own
A different path to walk alone
A living hope she wants to own
Before her heart becomes a stone

Yet hope is as a breeze of air
That gently strokes her snarled hair
And while she may be worse for wear
She need but breathe to find it there

-- Lisa Maren Stein

Shenanigans

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Other Keywords:

Bullying with pranks

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

It seems that some schools have strict rules and give detention for numerous infractions, including tardiness and uniform specifications. Naturally, I couldn’t help but imagine what might happen if a student arrived for his first day, at just such a school, in a whirlwind of chaos, fateful decisions, and shenanigans.

Shenanigans
By Mona Lisa

My first day of 8th grade turned upside-down before I could even sit down! I had just moved into my new house the day before, along with my family. My mother had a new job out here and my father, an attorney (the English call it a barrister), had been required to appear in court back home to try a case late in the summer. It was his last trial for his former employer. We had decided to travel together afterwards so that my father would not need to worry about a move while doing the enormous amount of work necessary to prepare for his trial. This course of action also spared us the additional expense of maintaining a residence in both places.

The upshot, for me, was that I hadn’t been able to attend the new student orientation three days earlier, when the rest of the new students bought their uniforms and received their student IDs. I had to show up for my first day at my new school without either! On top of that, I was supposed to have my long hair cut short, but my last-minute appointment was canceled because the person who was supposed to cut my hair had caught COVID-19. I hadn’t been able to make another appointment and I still had a pony tail down my back! Much of me was relieved for that, but I was sure to be punished with detention for it!

Well, the Universe does work in mysterious ways! Count on it!

Half awake, I climbed out of my mother’s car in front of my new middle school, The Jorgensen School. I had been instructed to report at 7:30 AM sharp in order to pick up my uniforms and student ID. The school was strict about its rules. Failure to wear proper uniform or to carry a student ID would result in detention, and thus I had to come early on my first day. My six-inch (15 cm) pony tail was another infraction, for a boy, but I was out of time to do anything about it.

I stepped into the main lobby and saw a computer monitor mounted on the wall opposite the main entrance. It was the size of a table almost large enough to seat six and it displayed the school’s announcements. On the left side of it was the office of the Head Teacher, John McGonagall. On the right was the Reception office. I just had to stop and stare at that magnificent computer monitor!

I wish I could have that screen for my computer! I could turn my bedroom into a private movie theater! Sweet!

It was just enough of a nice thought to bring a tired smile to my face – but I didn’t want to be late on my first day. As I entered Reception, the hexagenarian receptionist was typing up something on her computer. The sign on her desk read Ms. Melinda G. Moneypenny. Smiling, she turned to face me, her hands folded on the desk between us.

“Good morning! How may I help you, dear?” she chirped.

Gah! I can’t stand perky morning people! Okay, wake up, brain!

“Erm, I’m supposed to meet Ms. Deere at 7:30, please. I-I need my uniforms and student ID in time for class.” I explained.

“Ah, you’re right on time!” She smiled. “I’m afraid Ms. Deere is delayed due to traffic, but if you’ll please have a seat she should be along shortly,” she invited, gesturing toward a classic, wooden captain’s chair with the school crest on the backrest.

“O-okay, thank you.” I stammered, thanking my lucky stars that she didn’t say a thing about my long hair. She seemed a bit hands-off with the students, at least to me, but that worked for me! Less than fully awake, I didn’t care to talk to anyone.

From my semi-comfortable chair, I studied the historical photos of the school on the wood-paneled walls. While the sounds of typing filled my ears, as the receptionist resumed her work, my mother’s voice echoed in my half-awake mind.

The movers might lose your uniforms if we order them ahead of time, she said. You might grow out of them before you start school, she said. If we give them your sizes, they’ll be waiting when you get there, she said.

I looked at the clock like a doctor checking the displays hooked up to a critical patient, wondering if Ms. Deere would arrive before the time of death – or at least before my first class started at eight o’clock sharp. At 7:52, when the photos on the walls were beginning to lose their interest, I glanced out the window as my anxiety swelled. Just then, the forty-something Ms. Deere finally hurried into the room, clutching a garment bag and suffering from acute verbal hemorrhage.

“Hello, hello! You must be Miss Llywelyn!”

Wait! What? I did a double take. Did she just say Miss Llywelyn? No, she’s just talking fast while I’m trying to wake up, that’s all. Phew! Thank goodness!

Standing up, as I’d been taught, I stammered, “Erm, y-yes, nice to me-”

“Splendid, splendid! I have your uniforms. I am so sorry to arrive so late but I got stuck in horrible traffic on the way over. An overturned vehicle was blocking the entire road! Anyway, to save time, I went straight to the school store on my way in and selected your uniforms according to the sizing information that you sent in. Anyway, everything should fit perfectly. Now, if you’ll follow me…”

Without waiting, she turned to show the way to… where? I could only hasten to follow her as she nattered on like a running lawn mower.

“There is a single-person restroom just over here where you can change. I’m afraid you’ll have to be quick about it. We’ve only a few minutes until your first class and we do need to see about your student ID. You mustn’t be late because tardiness results in a detention after school, I’m afraid. Oh, I know it’s ridiculous and draconian – we’re only human, you know – but, sadly, those are the rules. The school is strict about quite a few things, you see.” She sighed before coming to the end of what turned out to be a short walk, “Ah, here it is! Please make haste, young lady!”

Wide-eyed, I accepted the garment bag from her and stepped into the small restroom as she held the door open and pulled it shut behind me. For a moment, I stood there, staring at the closed door in shock.

I heard it that time! She said, “young lady!” So she did call me “Miss!” She thinks I’m a girl? Oh no! How in the hell could this happen?

I looked in the mirror at my yellow sweater, pink oxford shirt, and slim-fit, tan slacks.

Pink shirt? Jesus! This is why I hate mornings!!

Then I had a horrid thought.

Oh no! If she thinks I’m a girl… then which uniform is this?? Oh, dear God, please no! Not on my first day!!

Before I could unzip the garment bag, Ms. Deere’s motor mouth answered my question in her rapid-fire speech, freezing me to the spot.

“Oh, I forgot to mention that there’s a bra and panty set in there, if you should need either – benefits of such a large school as ours, of course. Anyway, it is a school policy to include them with the girls’ uniforms under such circumstances as these. Well, you know how it is, of course. We do have young ladies like yourself escorted in by their Aunt Flo on their first day, the poor dears. Then there are the tomboy types who don’t care to wear a bra, but the school does not allow the young ladies to be without a bra as the Head Teacher finds it improper. Oh, I know it’s a bother and he does live in the stone age!” She dropped her voice for that insult.

“Anyway, they took the liberty of offering the undergarments in the school store to reduce such infractions and to help resolve, erm, female crises, of course. Oh, and incidentally, girls are required to wear the tights with the skirt at this school. I know how backwards that is. A young lady really ought to have a choice about that. We’re not all the same, naturally!” she rambled.

Okay, I’m wide awake now! This can not be happening! This is terrible!

Trying to tune out Ms. Deere’s maundering about the weather, I unzipped the garment bag and found the expected girl’s uniforms. Sighing, I thought about telling her she’d made a mistake, but Ms. Deere had addressed me as a girl, and had given me girl’s uniforms, which she had picked out before she had seen me. Therefore, unless she was suffering from premature senility, the school records had me enrolled as a girl!

She might not believe I’m a boy even if I do try to explain, with the records saying I’m a girl… and with my pony tail. Oh my God! If this school thinks I’m a girl, then… wearing the boy’s uniform is, technically, against the rules for me! I have no idea what to do! Well, damn it, I can’t be late for class and I’ll have detention without the proper uniform! I’m going to have to wear the girls’ uniform and figure it all out later! I don’t see any other way. At least now my hair won’t get me detention!

Rolling my eyes, I started changing and, convinced that I wouldn’t get away with wearing my own underwear, I swapped it for the panties. It crossed my mind to wonder what to do about having a chest that wouldn’t fill out the bra. That was not a problem I ever thought I would have to solve! The bra, however, turned out to be a training one – and the small about of baby fat I had was enough.

Well, that’s another problem solved!

Pondering what other problems might present themselves before the day was up, I dressed myself in the pleated, tartan skirt in navy and white, followed by the white blouse. It sat a bit funny at first, but I realized that I could reach beneath the hem of the skirt and tug the blouse into place. Much better! Next, I slid the white, nylon tights onto my legs going on what I’d accidentally seen my mother or my sister doing. The navy and white saddle shoes were a relatively simple matter, as was the navy cardigan. The last thing to add was a navy and white neck tie. Sighing, I donned the infernal implement of torture.

I hate ties! I always feel like I’m wearing a hangman’s noose! Well, at least the stupid uniform fits. I’m surprised I don’t look like a dork! Actually, I look much better in a girl’s uniform than I do in my own clothes! Well… this feels really weird… but at least it feels… well, a little… good… sort of.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror looking for any flaws. I wore no makeup or jewelry, but I imagined that the school did not allow much, judging by my sister’s grumblings on the subject. All in all, I didn’t look like a boy at all. Uncertain about the looks of my low ponytail, I hastily redid it higher up, like a girl – but not before Ms. Deere knocked, telegraphing her impatience.

“Five minutes left, young lady! Please hurry! You still need to pick up your student ID, and that special little printer has problems and glitches sometimes. Oh, I’d hate for you to have detention on your first day!”

Picking up my boys’ clothes, I put them in the garment bag that held my remaining two uniforms and zipped it shut. That way, they would stay safely out of sight. With one last glance at the mirror – and down at my nylon-clad legs, I made a decision.

Okay. No being embarrassed. That’ll only give me away before I can figure this out – and then I’ll have detention for sure! Anyway, if Ms. Deere thinks I’m a girl, the entire staff probably does, too. They won’t know anything. None of the other kids even knows me. Nobody around here does. I can do this. I just… have to be a girl, that’s all.

Sighing at my predicament, I slung my backpack over my right shoulder, picked up the garment bag, and left the privacy of the restroom. Outside, I found Ms. Deere tapping her foot, checking her watch, and fretting. Quickly assessing my appearance, she smiled with approval.

“Ah, splendid, splendid! You look wonderful! I’m sure you’re going to fit right in.” With that, she turned to show the way. “I can’t imagine that an agreeable young lady like yourself should have any trouble finding friends. Anyway, the next order of business is your student ID. Please, follow me back to Reception.”

Upon arrival, she had Ms. Moneypenny take over. “Please stand right here in front of the camera and smile! You don’t want to have a bad photo on your ID all year long, now do you?”

“Erm, n-no ma’am. Thank you!” I stammered.

I always did prefer to take a good picture, but given my mood, I wasn’t sure I wanted to see this one! I barely had time to spot the camera near Ms. Moneypenny’s desk before it flashed and in a few seconds, a brand new ID oozed out of a special printer, laminated and everything.

Well, thank my lucky stars the printer worked this time! I can still make it to class!

I glanced at the picture and, sure enough, it showed the face of someone smiling in front of an oncoming train - after she had walked through a wind storm.

God, I look awful - and my name is Alan, not Ellen. Wait. What? Oh, God!!! I really am enrolled as a girl! The ID even says I’m Female! I can’t believe this! We’re going to have to show them my birth certificate to fix this! I don’t even know where it is, just somewhere in our pile of boxes! The boy’s uniform really is against the rules for me!

Before I could put my new ID away, Ms. Deere was ready with her next instruction. “Alright, the last thing to do before we get you to your first class is to show you to your new locker. You’re in luck that it’s close to your first classroom. It will save you time and you’ll just make it to class. It seems to be locker number 108. Here’s the combination. Please follow me quickly!”

She handed me a small slip of paper saying that my locker was, indeed, number 108 and the combination was 9-9-9. As we hurried down the grand hallway, I was too preoccupied with the odd experience of walking through the school in nylon tights and a skirt to put away my ID or the slip of paper with my locker combination. A few other students and teachers scurried down the corridor and past the navy lockers toward one classroom or another. Almost none of them gave me more than a passing glance and a smile – except for a boy or two!

Now, that is weird!

After a long walk across the campus, listening to Ms. Lawnmower – erm, Ms. Deere - prattle about Mr. Thatcher and his well-respected history class, we finally reached my locker.

After listening to Ms. Deere for the past ten minutes, I’m actually looking forward to my boring History class!

With haste, I opened my locker, the combination already memorized, and stashed my bag full of boy clothes and girl uniforms. I tucked my student ID and combination slip into my backpack, slammed the door, and turned to follow Ms. Deere to my first classroom, just steps down the hall.

“Well! You’ve just made it! Oh my, I almost forgot! Your schedule was emailed to you this morning. It will tell you where you need to go from here. Well, it’s time for class! Have a wonderful day!”

Her blood pressure has got to be through the roof!

Steeling myself for my first interaction with the other kids, I thanked Ms. Deere for her “help” and stepped into the classroom full of students with fifty-nine seconds to spare.

“Ah, you must be Miss Ellen Llywelyn! Thank you for being on time. Welcome to the class and indeed, the school! Please take a seat and we’ll get started.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

A quick glance around the room revealed a single vacant seat – at the far end of the front row, right next to a pretty girl with thick, wavy strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. She looked much like a younger Ginny Weasley. Full of trepidation and wanting to avoid detention, I walked over without hesitation.

Of course I’m sitting next to Bonnie Wright when I’m dressed like this! I must have picked up a curse in a past lifetime! Well, I’d better at least smile at her and – oh shit, I can’t forget the skirt! That would give me away!

Settling into my seat, I smoothed my skirt and crossed my legs for good measure. Glancing at the mysterious strawberry blonde next to me, I decided to introduce myself. If I didn’t want to be found out, I had to socialize normally, after all – and perhaps a bit of humor wouldn’t hurt.

“Hello! I’m Ellen, the plaything of the Universe.” I flashed a nervous smile.

“I’m Shannon and I know what you mean!” She giggled. “Uh oh! We’re starting!”

We both turned to stare at the teacher and the first class of the day was underway – but I found it difficult to focus. With the teacher, Shannon, and my girl’s uniform all vying for my attention, my mind struggled in a three-way tug-of-war – until Mr. Thatcher handed out a thirty-minute detention to a tardy student for being a minute and a half late.

Thirty minutes in detention for a minute and a half of class time? Okay, seems legit. Gah! Must pay attention!

* * * * *

As the class drew to a close, the scraping of chairs and the chattering of students forced Mr. Thatcher to raise his voice over the din to announce the homework assignment.

“Not a bad class, huh?” Shannon flashed a contagious smile and my face mirrored hers of its own accord.

“Yeah, not bad at all! It wasn’t even boring!” I kidded, winning another giggle.

Plus, I made a new friend, and… I learned that I actually love the feeling of tights! It’s an historic day – at least, for me!

“So what class do you have next?” Shannon flirted.

Digging out my phone and retrieving the electronic copy of my schedule from my e-mail, I reported, “I have Intro to Computer Science with Mrs. Turing. How about you?”

“Same here! Let’s walk!” She beamed.

“Great! Let’s!” I grinned.

With that, I stuffed my new history textbook in my backpack and we headed out of the classroom. Then I remembered that my locker was right there. Stopping by, I opened it up to drop off my history textbook so that I wouldn’t have to carry it around all day.

Thank my lucky stars I zipped up my boy clothes. Half the hallway can see right into my locker!

“So do you like computers, too?” She chatted as I shut my locker door.

“Yeah, I do. What operating system do they use here? I hope it’s Linux!” I giggled.

“You’re in luck! It is! It’s my favorite, too.” Shannon replied.

“Nice! Where’s the classroom?”

“Right this way, milady. Right this way.” She hooked her arm in mine and led me down the corridor.

Milady? So she really does think I’m a girl! I guess that’s a good thing for now - though I have no idea what I’m going to tell her when I find a way out of this mess. I’m not sure she’ll believe the truth – or that she’s even going to want me around when she hears it.

* * * * *

As we walked down the hall, an older, female student with long, curly, brown hair chuckled at me, quipping, “You need a brush, hon!” I had an unsettling feeling that my hair really did stand out. Shannon grabbed my hand, making me smile, and led me into the girls’ restroom, where we did our personal business before she stood me in front of the mirror while she rummaged in her book bag, probably looking for a brush.

I glanced at my reflection and frowned. “Ugh! My hair looks like a rat’s nest! Stupid rushed morning!”

I really hope she has that brush! I hate my hair!

“Well, now’s your chance to fix it. Here you go!” Shannon smiled, holding out a purple detangling brush.

“Thank you!” I replied with relief.

Grateful, I took it from her and set to work fixing my hair. All I could do was brush it out and put it back in the high pony tail, but it looked ten times better! Much of my self-consciousness faded and I felt more at ease.

Note to self: Never show up without a brush again! Ever!

After removing my hairs from the brush, I handed it back.

“Thanks, Shannon. You’re a good friend!”

After Shannon put her brush away, I did what girls do. I gave her a quick hug. She beamed as we turned to head for class.

* * * * *

As we approached the Computer Science classroom, I saw a male student walk out of the room with his back toward us. For a moment, I thought he looked familiar, but I dismissed the possibility. After all, I had just moved across the country and I didn’t know a soul when I got here.

Stepping into the Computer Science classroom, I saw that there were twenty machines made by System 76 that ran on The Jorgensen School’s customized version of the Mint Linux operating system.

“These are great machines! I want one!” I marveled.

With that massive computer monitor in the lobby!

“I know, right?!” Shannon giggled.

All of the features of Mint Linux were familiar to me, but the aesthetics of the desktop, including the colors and the operating system logo, were customized to reflect The Jorgensen School. I wanted to create my own personalized version of Linux someday! It looked like fun! Meanwhile, I set about customizing a few things within my own account to the way I liked them. That way I wouldn’t fumble for them in class.

Just then, a chorus of groans caught my attention. When I looked up to see what that was about, I saw several irritated faces glaring at a boy with messy hair like straw and small, green, snake-like eyes. Shannon had just enough time to mutter, “Oh no. Nothing says ‘summer is over’ like the sight of Angus McFee.”

Angus wasted no time advertising his personality as his eyes violated Shannon. “Hey, someone’s on fire today!” He cackled. The tension in her jaw revealed just how she felt about him!

“Hay is for horses,” I sneered, winning a snort from Shannon and a glare from Angus.

“Well, listen to the new Honey over here.” He riposted, slapping his hands on my desk, invading my personal space, complete with bad breath. “By the way, when was the last time you went to a hairdresser?” He laughed out loud at his own joke, a remark so appalling that my jaw fell open. A few other girls had shocked expressions on their faces as well. A real girl would have been mortified – I knew, because I was, too – and I had just brushed my hair!

That is so not called for!

Looking at Shannon in the highest of dudgeon, I declared, “He’s about as charming as dog poop - and he smells like it, too!” Turning back to Angus, I barked, “Go smoke a tailpipe, you moron!”

If laughter had been a competition, I would have just won. The room had lost it. Angus slunk to his back-row seat. I, however, wasn’t laughing. For the first time in my life, I felt unbearably self-conscious about my hair. My face was awash in an intense blush as I slid down in my seat, my middle finger brushing a strand of hair out of my face.

I thought my hair looked pretty when I finally fixed it up. Do I really look like I need a hairdresser? I probably do, since I haven’t been to one. At least I use conditioner. I hope it’s enough!

With that, my insecurity was back.

God, what an asshole!

Shannon reached out and put a comforting hand on my shoulder, “Don’t listen to that dickhead. Every girl in this school knows he needs his mouth washed out with a toilet brush and a bottle of Ty-D Bol.” I smiled at her in gratitude, amused by her literal potty mouth, before she stammered, “B-Besides, I-I like your hair. I-It’s very pretty.” Suddenly she had a blush of her own!

“Thank you. So is yours. I mean that.” We held the smile, hopefully ticking off Angus, until the teacher walked into the room, quieting the class as though she’d thrown a switch.

They really do respect the teachers here – that or they really don’t want detention!

“Good day, class. For anyone who doesn’t know, I am Elaine Turing. You may call me Mrs. Turing. You will note that the security on these machines is rather tight. Sadly, as you might imagine, shenanigans have forced us to upgrade our security, such as the time someone managed to hack into the announcements board in the front lobby just last year. It was during Alumni Weekend, no less, and the perpetrator changed the contents of the board to a rather disparaging message, in a large font, about our Head Teacher.” She paused, flashing an old-fashioned look, as the class laughed out loud.

“Needless to say, we were not amused,” she continued. “Anyone caught trying pranks with our computers or our network will be dealt with most severely – and unauthorized access of a computer account is a violation of the law, so don’t get any funny ideas, please.”

When Mrs. Turing turned her back, Shannon whispered in my ear, “You should have seen it! The board said, ‘John McGonagall is a transvestite.’” We had to struggle to keep a straight face, but we managed to succeed. Just.

Alright, that’s enough! I am not getting detention on my first day! Though I do hope I’m getting lunch with Shannon! I like her!

* * * * *

At the end of the class, every machine in the room bleeped at the stroke of 11:00 AM. The operating system had sent out an automated system message:

Broadcast Message from [email protected]
(/dev/ttys001) at 11:00 AM...

Class dismissed!
PS - John McGonagall is a transvestite!
Signed, his therapist

The entire class roared with laughter as they began saving their work and gathering their things. Even Mrs. Turing could barely hold herself back from giggling, cross as she was. At least she had a sense of humor, albeit well hidden!

“Alright! Nobody leaves this room just yet!” She ordered, crossing over to close the door. “Much to my chagrin, that stunt was perpetrated from the machine on my own desk,” she groused, returning to her desktop computer. “And according to the command log… the message was broadcast to this class only, and… the message was read from a file, entitled, ‘firstday.txt,’ which is right there in my main directory. I’ll just delete that. Oh, and I’ll need to access the crontab file and remove the cronjob to stop it from throwing up error messages because it can’t find the file.”

Of course, the mention of ‘throwing up’ had the class in another round of stitches.

“Now then, I can trace this no further because it was created within my own account. However, anyone who observed unauthorized persons in the vicinity of this desk prior to class is strongly encouraged to come forward with information. We really can not allow such mischief or this school is going to be overrun with chaos.”

Oh, please! That plane has left the gate and taken off! You’re much too late!

After Mrs. Turing mentioned it, I remembered that I had seen a student leave the room as Shannon and I walked in, but how could I report that! Maintaining a low profile was a tactical imperative for my survival. I was not about to jeopardize it over such a harmless prank!

“Alright, class, you may go!” Mrs. Turing dismissed. Shannon hustled out the door and I darted after her so I wouldn’t get lost.

“Shit! I need the restroom but five other girls just walked in there and we have three minutes!” Shannon moaned.

“Maybe the single-person one near the front lobby is clear.” I offered, following her as she led the way to the small bathroom where I had changed. We were in luck; it was empty. There wasn’t a sign on it, but I wondered if it was reserved for teachers only. The fates were kind, as we got in and out and hurried to our next class. As we passed the announcements board in the main lobby, I couldn’t help snickering, imagining the sight of JOHN MCGONAGALL IS A TRANSVESTITE displayed on the large screen. Shannon then burst out laughing at me and got me started.

* * * * *

We made it to Science class with less than ten seconds to spare and, this time, Shannon and I claimed our seats in peace, with only a few puppy smiles from some of the boys – and one girl, a tall brunette with brown eyes, who looked like a young Emily Mortimer.

Out of nowhere, I realized that this brunette made me feel threatened in a way that was different from anything I had experienced before because it was in the social sense. In my thirteen years as a boy, I had only felt threatened from the physical standpoint.

Oh God! Am I actually afraid that I might not be pretty enough as a girl? Well, I am still embarrassed about my hair, thanks to Angus McFee!

As I tried to expunge Angus McFee from my mind before Shannon’s prescribed method of washing out his mouth made me laugh, Ms. Hawking, the teacher, began the class. She started by talking about the new James Webb Space Telescope and the latest discoveries that it had enabled us to make. I hoped that she made a habit of sharing science news like that! If so, I knew I’d like this class!

* * * * *

After Science class ended, as Ms. Hawking shouted out the homework assignment, Shannon and I headed for the door. The brunette came up to Shannon to talk to her and that same threatened feeling came back to me like an earthquake that struck after a foreshock.

Shannon wouldn’t rather talk to her, would she? God, it would be so awkward to stand here while the girl I like talks to another girl right in front of me – and “Emily Mortimer” is prettier than me! I hate her! Oh, my God! I do sound like a jealous girl!

“Erm, hi Shannon. Having a good day?” she ventured with a goofy smile.

“Hello, Angelina.” Shannon gave a polite response. “Nothing to write home about, really. You?” She finished, solely for the sake of manners. Angelina’s smile brightened at her remark.

Oh, brother! I thought girls could read one another. Angelina doesn’t have a clue! I hope I’ve never looked that dopey!

“Good day so far! I can’t wait for sports sign-ups at lunch! I love playing soccer!”

Wait! What? I did another double-take. Did she say something about sports sign-ups? Oh no!

Shannon appeared to stop herself from rolling her eyes before finally responding, with a fake-cheery tone and a deadpan face, “That’s great. I hope you make the team.” Then she stared in silence at the hapless brunette.

“Well… uh… thanks! Anyway, nice talking to you!” She scurried away, thinking she’d made progress, the poor girl.

Angelina seems nice enough but… I wonder if her brain has a label on it that says, “Slightly Irregular.” I still hate her. She’s way better looking than me! My God, I really am jealous and insecure! Well, it’s my first day as a girl!

Then I caught a glimpse of my nails as my hand moved to my hair.

My nails!! Oh, dear God! I didn’t even think about my nails!

I hazarded a glance at them and remembered that they were neatly trimmed and at least androgynous in appearance. Sighing in relief, I realized that, at the worst, I looked like a tomboy – not that I had seen a tomboy in the mirror.

Thanking my lucky stars for my good personal habits, I took a breath to calm my nerves. I glanced back at Shannon in time to see her slowly shake her head, glad to be rid of Angelina. I relaxed further and followed Shannon out of the room – completely forgetting about sports sign-ups.

* * * * *

The Spanish classroom was decorated with posters of the Mayan calendar and the Temple of Kukulcan. Looking around the room, I recognized Angelina a few seats over… and someone coming in the door.

“Oh no! Not him again!” I blurted.

“Tell me about it. Oh, hell!” She averted her gaze as he came close.

“Well, well, well! We meet again, Fire!” He started.

He really does think he’s God’s gift. He definitely has a high opinion of himself. Ugh!

“Piss off, McFee!” Shannon hissed.

He only laughed. “Ooooo, we are on fire today!”

Turning to Shannon, I griped, “The guy’s like black mold! You can’t get rid of him!” She laughed, along with three other girls. Angus, however, whirled around and turned on me.

“You would know! You probably have it you-know-where!” Angus sneered, invading my space again.

I gave him my best dirty look. “Go play in traffic!” Seven girls guffawed at him.

“Go to a hairdresser!” He retorted, making several girls stare in disgust.

“You belong in a dumpster!” Shannon growled.

“You’re a barf bag, Angus McFee!” Angelina zinged, no doubt trying to impress Shannon.

“Shut up, Beanstalk!” He whined, glaring at Angelina.

With that, he ended his volley of taunts with an ignoble retreat to his seat.

That kid is never getting a date at this school! He really is a moron!

His remark was too pathetic to hurt this time. Nevertheless, my hand made an unconscious move to my hair, my middle finger dragging that strand of loose hair down the back of my ear.

“Hola, clase! Por favor sientate y empecemos!” (Hi, class! Please sit down and let’s start!) “Mi nombre es Señor Ortega.” (My name is Mr. Ortega.)

The last few students quickly sat down at attention while Mr. Ortega looked at me intently and scanned what must have been her class list.

“Y… veo una cara nueva hoy!” She looked up with a smile. “Debes ser la señorita Ellen Llywelyn, verdad?” (And… I see a new face today! You must be Miss Ellen Llywelyn, right?)

“Si, es verdad, Señor.” (Yes, that’s right, Sir.)

“Ah! Bienvenido a mi clase ya la escuela!” (Ah, welcome to my class and the school!)

“Muchas gracias, Señor.” (Many thanks, Sir.)

“Tu acento es muy bien. Has estudiado Español antes, eh?” (Your accent is very good. You have studied Spanish before, eh?)

“Si, señor. Me mude aqui desde Los Angeles, donde tenia amigos de Mexico. Empece a aprender de ellos y luego estudie Español en mi escuela alla.” (Yes, sir. I moved here from Los Angeles, where I had friends from Mexico. I started learning from them and then I studied Spanish at my school there.)

“Muy bien! Voy a disfrutar enseñandote!” (Very good! I am going to enjoy teaching you!)

“Gracias, Señor.” (Thank you, sir.)

Oh no. Dirty looks from the other students – except Shannon. She looks impressed! But damn! I was popular when I took on Angus McFee. I hope I haven’t blown it! Then again, I may do well in Spanish, but a straight-A student I am not! I guess they’ll know that soon enough!

* * * * *

“Bueno, clase! Sus tarea es leer el primero capitulo en sus libros de texto y hacer los ejercicios. Hasta la vista!” (Okay, class! Your homework is to read the first chapter in your textbooks and do the exercises! Bye!)

“You did a great job in here today, Ellen!” Shannon grinned.

“Thanks! I think the others are afraid I’m going to wreck the grading curve or something.” I hazarded.

“Bah! Don’t worry about them. Never does any good!” She pointed out.

“Well, that’s true. Anyway. It’s lunch time! I’m starved! Shall we?” I hungered.

“Yes! I’m starved, too! Let’s go!” She hooked her arm in mine and dragged me out the door towards a hot meal.

* * * * *

The dining hall was decorated in wood-paneled class and the food tantalized my nostrils. Shannon stood next to me in line and I couldn’t wait to eat. We collected navy blue trays with plates of zesty pasta, salad, and glasses of water. We found a two-person table against the far wall and sat down to dine.

“Well, there’s a lot of rushing around to avoid being late and getting hit with detention, but overall… it wasn’t too bad for a first morning, eh?” I smiled at Shannon.

“Apart from Angus McFee, that is, yeah!” She chuckled.

“Well, there is that.” I admitted, making her smirk. “He does that to you a lot, doesn’t he?” I sobered.

“Yeah, I think he’s had a crush on me since fifth grade, only it’s… kind of toxic, obviously.” She grimaced.

“Ugh. Yeah, I can tell.” I sympathized. “You know, I’ve been handling him all wrong. I shouldn’t be reacting at all because that’s what they want. You’re better at that than me.”

“She’s on fire!!” Angus swooped past from out of nowhere, hissing at Shannon, making her stop and roll her eyes, one bite halfway to her mouth.

“If I’m on fire, then he’s a biohazard!” She murmured, making me snicker before she continued, “I wish I’d tripped him. That would have been so satisfying!” She was lucky that there were no teachers within earshot. Yet, it was unfortunate, because they probably had no idea this was going on. Angus had a knack for striking in the absence of a teacher.

“Well, it would be funny,” I agreed, with a chuckle. “But good for you for not reacting until after he was out of earshot.”

“Yeah.” She smiled.

CRASH!!!

“You bitch!!!”

We turned around to see what the commotion was all about and saw, across the room, Angus McFee getting to his feet covered in the contents of his tray. Shannon and I burst out laughing.

“Mister McFee!” Mr. McGonagall strode toward him. “That’s an hour’s detention for you, boyo! That kind of language is not acceptable!”

“B-but she tripped me!!” He wailed, pointing at a short redhead feigning the purest of innocence as a mere witness to an unfortunate mishap. No prizes for guessing who Mr. McGonagall believed.

Knowing that the redhead had done what Shannon had wanted to made the two of us laugh even harder. Then Shannon glanced at her iPhone. “Say, we have just enough time before class to sign up for sports! We’d better go!”

With that, my laughter died in my throat.

* * * * *

On the way in to the field house, a departing male student brushed by me and muttered, “Watch it, dude!”

Shannon and I slowed up, exchanging glances, baffled as to what that was all about. “Do they always refer to girls as ‘dude’ here?” I wondered aloud.

“Oh… occasionally… sure. You know, it’s… just an expression.” Shannon mumbled, as she glanced behind her. She didn’t sound too sure.

“What’s the matter?” I probed.

“Well… there was something about the way he said that… but I can’t put my finger on it. Well, I wouldn’t worry about it! I’m sure it’s nothing.” She smiled at length.

“Yeah, well, let’s hope not!” I tittered, heading inside the field house with one hand absently dragging that loose hair behind my ear.

Shannon shrugged, shaking her head, as she followed.

* * * * *

We arrived in the field house lobby to find the sign-ups taking place at a table, where a lady sat, talking to a student and typing on her lap top. The student walked away, their sign-up complete, and Shannon took her turn.

Oh, God. I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do! I can hardly use the girls’ locker room!

Just then I spotted a “life preserver.” One form at the end of the table spoke of an option to exercise at home – and no, I did not see the fine print!

“Well, I hate sports,” Shannon returned from the table while the next student walked up, “but I’ll be playing tennis! At least that’s nonviolent!” Shannon smiled. “What are you signing up for?” She asked.

“I’d prefer home exercise,” I admitted. “I’ve always hated sports, too.”

Here comes the fine print!

“Oh! You have to have an acceptable reason for that, you know, something like recovering from an injury or surgery… or, they had a transgender student until last year and they allowed her to use that option until she graduated. You know, things like that.” She paused. “Do you mind if I ask?”

Oh no! What do I tell her? Well, now’s my only chance to stop hiding from her and come clean! She hasn’t asked until now, so I haven’t lied, but… now that she’s asking… alright! I know what to say!

I checked the area for eavesdroppers before I went with my chosen explanation.

“No, of course I don’t mind.” I looked her in the eyes and spoke the words in a hushed tone. “Looks like I’m the next transgender student.” I related the morning’s events, admitting that I had expected to attend as a boy. I knew I was risking further complication of my situation by using this explanation, but I didn’t know how else to address the sports sign-up problem and maintain honesty with Shannon.

“I’m not saying that I identify as a girl, exactly," I continued, "but I do have a much easier time with the boys this way. I don’t feel like a wimp next to them. My honest reactions don’t get me attacked. Of course, they do pick on me if it’s something they would tease a girl about, like Angus McFee, but when they do, they act like they’re talking to a girl. I definitely like that way better! I can hold my own against Angus McFee this way because I have some power to rally other girls against him. Speaking of the girls, I get along better with them. Plus, the teachers all seem a little nicer to me than before. I’m getting all of that because I’m dressed as a girl. The uniform was weird at first, but I got used to it pretty fast. I really like school better this way and I would rather come as a girl again tomorrow. Heck, I even love the tights. Isn’t all that what transgender means?”

Reciprocating my quiet tone of voice, she mused, “Sounds to me like you’re on the right track. A typical boy would never want to come to school as a girl no matter what!” She giggled, getting me started. “Anyway, I had no idea about you. I just see a girl.”

“Really? Thanks, I guess!” I smiled.

“You know,” she confided, “the last girl like you was kind of a friend of mine, even though she was older. I liked her and I like you, too!”

“It’s good to know that you’re open-minded. I’m glad you’re here, Shannon.” I replied.

“And I’m glad you’re here, Ellen.” We bonded over a mutual, bright grin - until it occurred to me that I hadn’t signed up yet.

“Oh! I guess I’d better get on with it. We have our next class pretty soon. I hope I don’t have any problems!” I finished with a nervous shrug.

“Oh, I doubt you will, with your records already changed, but good luck!”

I stepped to the sign-up table and filled out the home exercise form. There were only a handful in that pile, but then I realized they probably didn’t have many students signing up for it. With that done, I approached the lady at the laptop, unable to banish my anxiety.

“Hello, there! Ah, I see you have a form for me?” the lady smiled.

Just then, another teacher came over. “Excuse me, Merida, the boys’ and girls’ tennis teams are now filled up.”

“Okay. Thank you, Martina.” Turning back to me, Merida perused the form I had given her. “Now, where was I? Ah, yes, you are requesting home exe- oh, I see! Hmmm, that’s odd. Normally, they would notify me--” she paused, with a puzzled expression.

Uh oh!

“May I see your student ID, please?”

I pulled mine out of my backpack - with its awful photo - and handed it to her. After a quick look, she returned it.

“I see they did change your records. Alright then, it is legitimate.”

Thank Christ! I breathed a sigh of relief that I could put off the inevitable a while longer. I didn’t expect to go unnoticed until I graduated! It had to blow up in my face sometime – but at least it was avoided for now.

“Here is the exercise form. You will need to fill out each day on there. The dates are already there. You only need to fill in what exercise you did each day and then have a parent initial and date in those right-hand columns. When this form is completed, you’ll simply bring it to the office here at the gym on Monday mornings, when you’ll receive a fresh sheet for the new week. Alright?”

“Yes, ma’am. Sounds easy enough! Thank you!”

“You’re welcome. Next, please?”

Well, that was easy!

I had just turned around when I found myself face-to-face with a male student I hadn’t met yet who wore a troubling smirk. “Whoops! Close call, little dude!” he gibed.

My eyes were wide open, as he began signing up for a sport, my feet slowly making their way toward Shannon on their own. I heard Merida speak up behind me in a stern voice. “Young man, we do not refer to the ladies as dudes at this institution!”

“But he--” the student tried.

“Enough of that nonsense!” she barked. “Now, please sign up so that you get to class on time!”

“Yes, ma’am!” he acquiesced.

Shannon was standing to one side, waiting for me to finish, with a puzzled look of concern on her face. I was still semi-shocked and started speaking in an almost automatic manner. “Well, it’s done! She was surprised that she hadn’t been informed about me, but my ID says I’m a girl named Ellen, and since my records seem to be in order, she allowed it…”

“In other words, she knows she’s covered if there’s any problem.” Shannon murmured. “But what happened with that jerk? Did I hear the word ‘dude’ again?”

I nodded, beginning to recover. “And the word ‘he.’ It wasn’t just an expression this time. What is happening?”

Shannon stared. “Uh oh. I wish I knew.”

“You and me both!” I sighed. “Well, come on, let’s get to class before we get detention!” Departing the gym, we headed for our next class, arm in arm, talking along the way.

“There must be some reason that kid used the male pronoun with you. But how would he know about you?” Shannon mused.

“I have no idea,” I admitted.

“You haven’t told anyone else, have you?” She checked.

“No! I don’t dare! I trust you and I don’t want to lie to you, but with anyone else… it’s way too early!” I shivered.

“Well, I wonder if it could have anything to do with the way your records were changed before you even showed up this morning. How the hell did that happen anyway?” Shannon marveled. “I mean, what about your transcripts from your old school? Any mismatch should have gotten someone’s attention here at Jorgensen… unless your transcripts were changed, too. Yeah, that must be what happened.”

“I really wish I knew what to think.” I shook my head. “Well, I applied to Jorgensen without visiting because of the distance, you know, so I never sent them anything on paper. It was all done online.” I explained as we walked.

“Oh, so they never actually met you before today? Well, not in person, I mean?” She gushed.

“No, not beyond the online interview.” I conceded.

“Well, with your hair being as long as it is, they must have thought that they heard you introduce yourself as Ellen. What were you wearing?” She queried.

“Almost the same thing I was wearing this morning. I had on a nice sweater over a white oxford shirt… which is fairly unisex these days, isn’t it?” I considered. “And they couldn’t see my legs, of course, so for all they knew, I could have been wearing a skirt.” I finished.

“Yeah… none of that would have told them that they were getting anything wrong during the interview… unless your parents talked to them using male pronouns…” Shannon thought aloud.

“Well, they didn’t spend a lot of time with my parents because they both work,” I remembered.

“Oh, then maybe that didn’t tell the interviewer anything either,” she reasoned.

“Yeah… but I filled out the forms with my name correctly.” I realized.

“Well, then… maybe somebody changed your records and transcripts sometime closer to when classes started and the interviewers had forgotten you by then because they talk to so many kids. By the time the school looked up your records in the fall, nothing about them would have set off any alarms!”

“Yeah… so who changed my records, then?” I wondered.

“That, I don’t know,” she frowned.

Just then, we entered the lobby and Shannon stopped in front of Reception and the Head Teacher’s office. Then she glanced at the infamous announcements board in the front lobby. Her eyes went wide as ideas collided in her mind, making her gasp and freeze.

“The computers! Wait a minute! You applied electronically because of the distance, right? And there have been recent student shenanigans with the computers! What if those two things are related?” She turned to look at me.

“Yeah, you know, I saw someone come out of the Computer Science lab as we walked in for class! I thought he looked familiar. Did you see him?” I inquired, with a sinking feeling.

“Yeah. That was Mark Henderson. Why?” She wondered.

“Oh no! I do know him!” I blanched. “He went to my school in California. I knew that he moved away the year before I did, but I had no idea where. Apparently, he moved here! We didn’t get along too well. He always called me names like faggot and sissy. He must have a contact back in Los Angeles who told him I was applying here!”

Shannon glowered at that. “I’ll bet he would have wanted to find out if you were accepted… and he would have had to get into the records for that… but the first time, he would have been careful to check and nothing else… because he had to make sure he didn’t get caught… so that he’d be able to get back in later… and he would have found some opportunity to access the records right before classes started… when the staff had as much time as possible to forget you from the interview… and that would have been when he changed your name and gender to Ellen and Female in the school records.” She finished, slowly turning her head to look at me in amazement.

“Yeah… and for that, he would have had to get into Ms. Moneypenny’s account. Mrs. Turing’s wouldn’t have access to those files, not if they’re following the rule about never giving users any access that they don’t need.” I murmured. “As for Ms. Moneypenny, she might use an insecure password that he figured out. She might even write it down and keep it around her desk somewhere. It’s not a good thing to do, at all, but there are plenty of people that do it anyway. It could be how he got into Mrs. Turing’s account, too.”

“Maybe, maybe not. The prank in the Computer Science lab only took a minute to pull off. Mrs. Turing might have left her machine logged in when she walked away from the room, maybe to run to the bathroom. That would have been enough time, for sure.” She gasped. “You know, he was suspected to be involved with last year’s prank on the announcements board, too,” she gestured at it, “but they couldn’t prove it, so he got away scot-free.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” I smiled. “After all, they only need a witness who is willing to come forward, and we did see him coming out of the Computer Science lab before class, didn’t we?”

A satisfied smirk commandeered Shannon’s face. “Why, yes! Yes, we did!” she couldn’t help but giggle.

“And since he was nice enough to do me such a favor with my school records, isn’t it only fair to repay his kindness by reporting him?” I teased.

“Yes! And you know, at this school, coming forward will keep us both in the teachers’ good books, too. It’s a brilliant idea! Let’s go!” Shannon grabbed my hand, making my heart flutter, and led me into Reception, where we left a nice message for Mrs. Turing regarding the probable identity of her “cyber-prankster.”

We strutted out of Reception pleased with ourselves – until my smile faded because I remembered Shannon’s original reason for launching into that whole conversation.

“What is it, El?” Shannon worried.

“There’s still the problem of why two kids have called me ‘dude’ – and ‘he.’” I sighed.

“Oh, right, I forgot.” Shannon paled. “Well, the only one who knows about you, besides me, is Mark Henderson!”

“Yeah.” I added. “The only thing I can think of is that he must have kicked his game up a notch. Maybe he started telling other kids about me and that’s why they’re calling me a dude now!” I felt sick to my stomach.

“Well… I don’t see any sign that anyone believes those idiots… except Mark, of course.” Shannon tried to reassure me.

“Well, we’d better get to class. We can’t do anything about it right now.” I deflated.

“So, what’s your next class?” Shannon inquired.

“Math,” I grimaced. “Yours?”

“Same,” she commiserated. “Well, maybe together we can figure it out.”

“Yeah. Come on!” I shrugged.

* * * * *

Math class was spared the presence of one Angus McFee, but on the way into the classroom, two boys snickered at me. One of them mocked, “What’s up, dude?”

A real girl would have assumed they were talking to one of the boys and paid no attention, so I ignored them and kept walking with Shannon, who smiled at me, knowing what I was doing.

We had arrived just before the start of the class and the teacher began right after we sat down. “Hello, class. I am Ms. Newton. And… hello to our new student, Miss Ellen Llywelyn. Welcome to the class and the school!”

“Thank you, ma’am!” I smiled.

Behind me, a whisper got my attention, followed by a laugh from the same two boys. My inner tension rose, but I was not about to acknowledge them. An icy stare from Ms. Newton silenced the entire classroom.

“Careful, boys. You’re a hair’s breadth from detention. Don’t push it.”

* * * * *

The rest of the class went as smoothly as a Math class can. Shannon and I left the room as soon as we could before those two goons opened their mouths. We made it into the hall before we heard them, behind us, muttering, “I don’t know. What do you think?” Then they turned in the other direction, out of earshot.

I pulled Shannon close. “You know what? I need intel on those jerks. They must be connected to Mark somehow. Who would know? Anyone in your network?”

“I was just asking myself the same thing.” She drawled, peering at a girl just ahead of us before whispering in my ear, “That’s Bethany Jones! She’s been dating one of those two weasels since last spring break. Let’s ask her.” She didn’t wait for an answer.

“Bethany, wait up!” Shannon caught up to her, with me on her tail.

“Hi, Shannon! Oh, hi, Ellen. Erm, welcome to Jorgensen.” She flashed a half-hearted smile.

That’s kind of troubling, but I’ll have to deal with it later.

Shannon steered the conversation to safer territory by dropping the casual question, “Bethany, aren’t you dating Edward Tiffany?”

“Yeah, I am! He’s, like, so gorgeous!” She swooned.

With a knowing twinkle in her eye, Shannon probed, “Did I, erm, see his brother James hanging out with Mark Henderson?”

I knew that she had seen no such thing. It could only mean that James was the same age as Mark, so she was fishing to find out if that was the connection.

“Yeah, probably. They’re good friends. Mark even stops by Edward’s house sometimes to see James when I’m there. Mark is bad news, by the way. If you’re thinking about James, well, I would only go for him if you don’t mind Mark being around. Edward’s great, though,” she sighed. “He’s just, well, a tiny bit of a follower,” she confirmed with a giggle.

Shannon and I exchanged subtle glances. We had the answer to our question – and that was when Bethany hit us with the unexpected.

“By the way… what they said… it’s not true, is it?” she ventured, giving me side-eye.

Shannon’s eyes widened, but she wasn’t so experienced in this area.

Okay… a real girl would have no idea what Bethany is talking about.

“Erm… is what true?” I shrugged as though Bethany had been smoking something.

Now let’s see if she tells me.

“You know,” she hesitated, “That you’re a dude.”

Okay, don’t look around. A real girl wouldn’t care who heard that because it’s obviously insane.

Keeping a bewildered look on my face, I pretended not to understand to buy myself time to think. What happens if you ask a real girl if it’s true that she’s a dude? She… assumes that someone must be making fun of her flat chest! Flat chest!! That’s it!!

I gaped as though realizing that Bethany had insulted my chest. “Mean! Just because your boobs grew in already and mine are still pancakes!” I put on a hurt face, crossing my arms. “I’d love to see you go jogging!” I finished.

Shannon snorted and doubled over in laughter as Bethany blushed. It was catty of me, and on my first day, but I needed to keep her mind away from my gender! Suddenly, I knew exactly how to finish the job and keep it friendly… and the extra payback wouldn’t hurt me at all!

“But seriously, though?” I leaned close, with my voice hushed, “If you’re dating Edward, I’d keep a tight leash on him. A lot of times, they tease a girl because they like her. Remember?” I smiled sweetly, adding a dose of cutesy eye flutter to take the edge off.

“Yeah, well… hands off! He’s mine!” Bethany tittered. I was glad that she was still mostly in good spirits, making it clear that she had taken things as intended, but my suggestion about his leash had gotten to her – and best of all, Edward Tiffany might now get some measure of comeuppance from Bethany!

“Well, we have to get to class. Can’t be late!” Shannon refereed.

“Yeah! Bye!” Bethany headed off in another direction.

“Bye!” Shannon and I chorused, making each other laugh. Shannon grabbed my hand and hurried me toward the girls’ restroom.

* * * * *

When we got there, Shannon made sure it was empty. As we self-checked at the mirror, we had a quick talk.

“Well, that answers that question,” I declared, as I made sure my hair looked the way I had fixed it earlier.

Meanwhile, Shannon got her brush out and ran it through her hair, chatting as she worked. “Yeah, now that we know James is good friends with Mark, we also know that Mark told James and James told Edward and his friend… and he probably told those other guys, too, you know, the ones who called you “dude” after lunch and at the field house?” Shannon put her brush back and shook her head with an angry sigh.

“So of course Bethany would have heard about it from Edward, too.” I added. “I wonder who else?”

“Well, I still don’t think anybody actually believes it. Bethany was a pushover – and the two guys in Math class were still talking over what they believe.” She dropped the volume of her voice and continued, “By the way, your instincts have been bang on every step of the way. You’ve handled every problem the way any of us girls would respond to crap like that. Working the grapevine to find out about Edward and Mark is a classic. Speaking of Edward, that crack about him being attracted to you was priceless!” She laughed. “Oh, and the one about Bethany jogging was perfect! I’d love to see that, too!” We both lost it.

“So, wait, my instincts are bang on? Really?” I reflected her tone.

“Yeah, you always do what most girls do!” Shannon insisted.

“Huh…” I reflected, still in a quiet tone. “How would I know how to do that?”

“We’ll have to talk about that later. Come on!” She winked, and with that, we stepped into the hallway. It felt like jumping into a fast-moving river!

* * * * *

As we walked into our English Literature classroom, we were greeted with calm. No jokes, no jibes, and no Angus McFee.

Thank God there’s no sign of him! I don’t know what I would do with that punk in every class!

“Hello, everyone. I’m Mr. Austen, for those who don’t know. Welcome, Ellen!” he smiled.

“Thank you, sir.”

I don’t hear anyone calling me “dude” or “he!” It must not be all over school then!

* * * * *

At the end of class, Mr. Austen assigned us to begin reading Sense & Sensibility. Amid the usual din, Shannon and I gathered our things and stepped out of the classroom into the hall.

“Well, it’s time for sports and I have to go swat tennis balls!” She shook her head.

“Well, at least tennis is nonviolent, like you said!” I smiled.

“The sport is. I don’t know about some of the players, though” she joked. “See you after?”

“Yeah!” My smile grew brighter. “Try to have fun!”

She responded with a raspberry. “I’d so much rather sit in study hall with you! You have no idea! Okay, gotta go!”

I gave her a wave and headed the other direction to study hall, which was to be held in the room where I’d had my Math class. On the way over, as I turned right to pass Reception, I noticed that the person behind the desk was not Ms. Moneypenny, the receptionist, but Mark Henderson!

What the hell is he doing now?

I ducked backward, out of sight from the office and peered at Mark. He put down a figurine of a bagpiper. Then he leaned over Ms. Moneypenny’s computer and, a few minutes later, I saw him leave. Slowly, I resumed my course, fretting about his latest antics, only to see the announcements board change as I passed in front of it. It now displayed a single message in large all-caps:

ELLEN LLYWELYN IS A DUDE!!!

I gasped, but made myself calm down and do what a girl probably would. With a straight face, but my heart gunning, I stared at it with a puzzled expression, shook my head at it, and walked away. Just in case anyone was within earshot, I muttered, “Picking on the new girl, I guess! Oh well!”

* * * * *

The study hall room was across from the girls’ restroom, so I decided to use it. After I finished my business, I self-checked at the sink. I had just noticed that my elastic hair band had slipped when two girls came in, giggling and talking in front of the mirror. I didn’t feel much like chatting, but I had to act normal. I smiled and greeted them, fussing over my hair at the mirror.

“Can’t they make elastic bands that stay put?” I joked, adjusting my hair. “I’m Ellen, by the way.”

“Hi, I’m Annabelle.”

“I’m Sarah.” Then she gasped. “Oh, wait, Ellen Llywelyn? You’re the new girl whose name got put on the announcements board!! What’s that about??”

A real girl would have no idea what the hell it’s about.

I shrugged. “Oh, damned if I know!” Well, I did know that, in fact, I was a dude, at least according to my legal documents, but I did not know why Mark Henderson was so intent on destroying me, so it was a partial truth. “Ah well. I guess it’s just hazing the new girl, huh?” I tittered, rolling my eyes. “Does that happen to all the new girls here?”

“Um… no.” They exchanged glances and shrugged.

“Oh.” Pause. “Well, I guess the school clowns have to try something new eventually, right?”

“Yeah, I guess. They probably got the idea from this kid who graduated at the end of last year who really was transgender.”

“Oh. That explains it.” Suddenly, I realize how lucky I am that there was a recent transgender student here because that’s exactly what people will think it’s all about! Okay, time to end this conversation while it’s still nice and friendly. “Well, nice meeting you two, but we’d better get going!”

“Yeah! I don’t advise being late around here!” Sarah rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, we’re surrounded with time fascists!” Annabelle laughed.

* * * * *

A short walk later, I arrived at the study hall room. I was looking forward to some peace and quiet, but when I walked into the room, what I saw on the marker board made me stop dead.

ELLEN LLYWELYN IS A DUDE!!!

Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me with this!!! Okay, quick, what would a born girl do? She’d assume they must be messing with the new girl because what else could it possibly be? She would know it was false!

With a wide-eyed, quizzical look, I shrugged, muttering something about being the new girl, and going to a weird school. Then I sat down in silence. I wanted to report Mark Henderson for being behind the receptionist’s desk just before the latest prank message was displayed on the announcements board, but I didn’t have time. I would do it at the end of the period when I found Shannon.

Just then, the study hall proctor walked in. “Hello! Oh, we have a new student. I’m Mr. Andrews, the drama teacher, though right now, I’m the study hall proctor,” he chuckled before he fell silent upon seeing the board. “What? Here, too? Alright, who wrote this message?”

Nobody spoke.

“Well, did anyone see who did?”

“No, sir. It was already up on the board when I got here.” I glanced at the others, who only nodded their heads. I didn’t think they knew who did it any more than I did, because the author of that message would have been long gone before anyone saw him.

It’s got to be Mark Henderson or someone he put up to it!

“Well, this is a disgrace! We can’t have this… this… graffiti on the marker boards! This is a place of learning!” He grabbed the eraser and cleaned off the message, much to my relief.

He’s so reverent! It’s like he’s in church. Is he going to genuflect now? Maybe burn some frankincense?

“Miss Llywelyn, you wouldn’t, erm… have any idea what that graffiti is supposed to mean, would you? It was displayed on the announcements board in the lobby as well, I’m afraid.”

“Erm, well… one of the other girls was saying that someone got the idea from that transgender girl who graduated at the end of last year? I assume it’s just some kind of practical joke on the new girl.” I shrugged.

“Hmmm. But you’re hardly the only new student, are you? There’s the new 9th grader and the two new 7th graders – not to mention the entire sixth grade class. So why have they chosen you?” He probed.

“I don’t know, sir.” I replied. I honestly don’t. I never did know why he hates me - unless he just hates people like me. Thank my lucky stars he’s probably avoiding anything physical since this school would come down on him in half a second.

“Alright then,” Mr. Andrews sighed. “Study time begins now.”

With that, the room was quiet. Mr. Andrews pulled out his cellphone and sent a text message. I spent the time trying to concentrate on my homework to get a good head start on it, but my mind was preoccupied with this hostile campaign against me that was playing out on the school’s walls like muckraking billboards.

You’d think we’re running for office! God, I hope this doesn’t get any worse. Well… I guess this whole thing is starting to catch up with me. God only knows what’s going to happen next! Obviously, Mark knows my schedule now… because he would have looked it up when he changed the announcements board again. Of course.

* * * * *

At the end of the period, I collected my things, grateful to have avoided detention so that I wouldn’t miss my ride home. I had just finished when I felt my phone vibrate.

That’s Meg picking me up! She must be waiting out front.

I grabbed my phone and noticed that I had missed two messages.

Meg: Hey, bro! I’m here! Don’t see you!
Meg: Hold up - Mom and Dad are coming to you. Told me to go on to work. What’s up???

Alan: Hey, sis! You won’t believe it. School thinks I’m a girl named Ellen!

Meg: WTF??? How???

Alan: Mark Henderson. He goes here. Changed my records.

Meg: Ugh! Little SHIT! Bad day?

Alan: Actually no! Made great new friend!
Alan: Wearing girl uniform though!
Alan: Have to explain later.

Meg: No way! I don’t believe you!

At that moment, as I rolled my eyes, Shannon strolled in. “Ellen! There you are!”

“I’m glad you’re here.” I brought her up to date on Mark Henderson’s latest shenanigans, careful to seem confused about the motivation in front of Mr. Andrews, at least for now.

“Ugh!” She commiserated.

“Mr. Andrews, would you please do me a favor and take a picture of us? My sister wants to see a photo of my new uniform.” I smiled, holding out my phone.

“Certainly,” he volunteered.

Shannon and I stood against the front wall of the classroom and he took the photo. Handing back my phone, he attempted to speak with Shannon. “Erm, Miss McGuire,” Mr. Andrews addressed her.

Shannon was distracted as I forwarded the photo to my sister.

Meg: OMG!!! Cutie!!! Do I have a little sis? <3 <3 <3

Alan: Yes, I think you do.

Meg: Squeeeee!!!! <3 <3 <3

Alan: Thanks, but LET ME TELL MOM AND DAD!

Meg: K! Gotta Go! Love U! <3 <3 <3

Alan: Love U too! <3 <3 <3

Wow, I’ve never typed hearts before - and I have GOT to change my name on my phone to Ellen! That was awkward!

Shannon squeezed my shoulder with a big smile on her face and then threw her arms around me, making my soul light up. “She accepts you,” she whispered.

“Oh, she would,” I responded in kind.

“Miss McGuire?” Mr. Andrews tried again.

“Want to see a pic of her?” I giggled.

“Yes!” She bobbed.

“Okay!” I fiddled on my phone and brought up a good picture of my sister from the waist up, complete with long, bright blue hair done in a pony tail that revealed the buzzed undercut around the back from ear to ear. Her nose ring twinkled as the piece-de-resistance.

Shannon burst out laughing. “Oh, yeah!”

“Yup!” I giggled. “She’s, erm, in a different school!”

“Miss McGuire!” Mr. Andrews persisted, becoming impatient. “Miss McGuire, do you know anything about this prank business perpetrated in my study hall – and in the lobby, for that matter?” Mr. Andrews interrogated.

Surprised, she stared at him in wonder. “No sir, not a thing… well, nothing that I could prove. We were just about to go to Reception to tell them what we suspect—”

“—and what I witnessed in the lobby on my way to study hall, too,” I added.

“Indeed? Well, I think it’s time that we visit Reception. Shall we?” He gestured for the door and we left the classroom. Since we were passing right by it, I stopped by my locker to grab my homework books and my other uniforms. With that done, we were off.

* * * * *

As we approached Reception, the Head Teacher stepped out of the office. “Oh, hello, Mr. Andrews.”

“Hello, Mr. McGonagall. I believe we have some information for you regarding the day’s shenanigans, including a duplicate of the message on the announcements board written prominently on my marker board.”

“Oh, really? This is getting infuriating.” He moved toward his office. “Please, come in and sit down, won’t you?” He stood before his door and beckoned us in with a flourish.

Once we were seated, he got the conversation started. “So our unidentified scoundrel wrote out the same message on your marker board, Mr. Andrews?”

“Yes, in large letters I could have read down the hall.”

“And nobody saw who wrote it?”

“No, Sir, but young Miss Llywelyn witnessed something of interest in the lobby just before the announcements board changed this afternoon.”

“Oh? Do tell. Please!” Mr. McGonagall turned to me.

“Yes sir. I was on my way to the restroom, just before study hall, when I looked into Reception and saw Mark Henderson standing behind Ms. Moneypenny’s desk and leaning over her computer. As I watched, he picked up her figurine, the man skirling the bagpipes. He looked at the bottom of it and then he used the computer, so I’m guessing that she keeps her password taped to the bottom of it. Anyway, then he left the office, and five seconds later, the board changed to display the message about me.”

“I see,” he growled. “I knew he’d been up to no good but I didn’t have enough facts… until now. Thank you so much for coming forward. You have solved this problem for me.”

“Really?” I hadn’t thought my testimony alone would have condemned him.

“Yes. You see, there was another witness, someone who walked by the office and also saw him behind Ms. Moneypenny’s desk, facing her computer. She must have walked by moments before you did. Only she didn’t stop and watch.”

“I guess not, Sir.”

“But the important thing is that it is not just your word, Miss Llywelyn! And Miss McGuire, you mentioned something about what the two of you suspected?”

“Yes, Sir.” Shannon responded. “It turns out that Mark Henderson and Ellen know each other from California and they don’t get along. Ellen, you’d better fill them in.”

“Yes.” I cleared my throat, hoping I wasn’t about to get thrown out of the school for wearing a girl’s uniform all day long. “When I got here, this morning, it was clear that my records had been unexpectedly changed. I was handed a girl’s uniform to wear and when Ms. Deere made my ID, the name on it was Ellen and the gender was Female.”

“Oh? Is that, uh, information in error?” queried Mr. McGonagall.

“Well, yes and no. It’s accurate, but it’s not what’s on my legal documents. You see, I’m a transgender girl. I wasn’t sure of that until today. When all of this happened and I ended up going to classes as a girl for the day, well, it was much more comfortable this way. Everything is easier – well, socially – and everything makes so much more sense.” I admitted, sure that I was now trembling.

“Indeed! So you are a girl, then?” Mr. McGonagall marveled. I got the sense that he was testing me, so I blurted, “Yes, sir. That’s right. I want to keep coming to school this way.”

With that, he touched a button on his speaker phone and asked Ms. Moneypenny to look up my records, using the feminine name. However, she rushed in a minute later, perplexed and scrolling on her iPad.

Uh oh. I don’t like this!

“Oh, dear, Sir! I-I don’t understand. We only have records for an Alan Llywelyn, a boy, who also started today. Oh, my, what is going on around here?”

That dirty, rotten, son of a bitch changed it all back when he was messing with the announcements board! He’s trying to cover his tracks!

“Well, this is very troubling!” Mr. McGonagall was becoming irate, even slightly red in the face. He took a breath. “Miss Llywelyn-- well, I suppose I will call you that for now, as this is not a court of law, erm-- I don’t suppose you can verify this… this… this alleged problem with the records?”

Alleged, my ass!!! But how do I prove it now?!

Suddenly I knew! “Yes, Sir! I can!”

I dug through my backpack and found my student ID, which I handed to Mr. McGonagall. After a quick examination, he returned it.

“And, Mr. Andrews, you’ve been addressing me as Miss Llywelyn, right? Where did you see the name?”

“Excellent question!” He realized. “Now that you mention it, I printed out the list of study hall students, oh, ten minutes before the study hall began – which makes it before Mister Henderson last accessed the school records! Now, where did I put that… ah! Here we are!” He pulled out his printout and handed it to Mr. McGonagall.

“This does, indeed, have Ellen Llywelyn listed. So it seems that your records were, in fact, tampered with. Well, thanks to you – and our other witness – we now know who that someone is!” He dragged an angry hand down the lower half of his face.

“Mark Henderson is finished at this school,” he continued. “This simply will not be tolerated. As soon as we conclude this meeting I will see to it.”

“Oh, I’ve forgotten, Sir! Miss Llywelyn, you and Miss McGuire left a message earlier for Mrs. Turing about the prank at, erm, 11AM in the Computer Science lab as well… and I see she’s not checked her messages yet.” Ms. Moneypenny mentioned, still fighting with her iPad, sighing in frustration.

“That’s right, Sir. Shannon and I both saw Mark Henderson leave the lab just before that class began.”

“And I’m sure he is not in that class,” fumed Mr. McGonagall.

“No, Sir.” I confirmed with malicious compliance, making Shannon smirk.

“Well, he is done!” He took a satisfied sigh knowing that one looming issue was resolved. “Alright then, our next order of business is you, Miss Llywelyn.” He checked the time on his computer monitor. “Now, you have not done anything wrong. Given that you were enrolled as a girl, it would have been difficult to believe any attempt to report the error in the records, as you do make a convincing girl, if I may say so. You would almost certainly have been told that wearing trousers was against the rules for you. I can certainly see how you felt you had no recourse. I am sorry for this… colossal mess that has had you attending school in a girl’s uniform all day long – and may I say that I’m relieved to hear that you are a girl and actually benefitting from it!”

“You may, Sir!” I smiled.

“At any rate, most of this school believes you to be a girl, I take it?” he inquired.

“Yes, Sir. The only sign I have seen, all day, of anyone thinking any differently would be the four boys who deliberately addressed me as ‘dude’ and ‘he.’”

“Really? Any idea what brought that on?”

“Well, I wanted to find out more about that after two boys in Math class called me ‘dude’, so Shannon and I struck up a conversation with the girl who's dating one of them, that being Edward Tiffany. Anyway, Shannon asked if James Tiffany, Edward's brother, is a friend of Mark Henderson’s and Bethany told us that they are good friends.” I finished with a wry smile. Just then, Ms. Moneypenny left the room, as though deciding that the conversation no longer had any relevance for her.

“Aha. The pieces fall into place.” Mr. McGonagall’s face was reddening for the second time. “Everywhere we look, we find Mister Mark Henderson. Well, it’s like I said, he is positively--”

“Excuse me, Sir. The parents are here.”

Parents? My parents! God, I forgot! I stiffened as I turned around.

“Mom! Dad!”

“Hi sweetie,” she murmured, looking me up and down. “Well, I always knew there was something about you…” she trailed off before continuing. “I-I just didn’t know it was this!” She smiled, at least.

My father had been standing there with his mouth open, but he finally spoke. “Neither did I,” he marveled. “I guess, uh…” he cleared his throat. “I guess it explains why you haven’t wanted your hair cut, eh?”

“Yeah, Dad.” What do you know? That really is the reason. It was partly because my body is mine, and I want that respected, but… I didn’t realize why that’s so important to me until now!

“You mentioned over the phone a mixup with… with… erm, my child’s records?” He stammered.

He doesn’t want to say ‘her?’ Oh no.

“Yes. I’m afraid we’ve had quite the prankster on our hands – who is now finished at this institution, please let me reassure you.” Mr. McGonagall growled, absently straightening his tie as though it would put the school back in order. My parents sat through all of the day’s events, nearly as angry at their perpetrator as Mr. McGonagall.

“So, erm… what is the protocol for, erm… adjusting the records back to… female now,” my mother inquired with a shrug, “and for, erm… Ellen’s attendance here. I mean… o-obviously this has not come about in the usual way.”

“No, this is a most unusual case. As a matter of fact, it puts the school in an awkward position. You see, normally, the student would not come out as transgender or attend classes as a girl until a doctor verified that it is time for that, but in this case, we have begun with nearly all of the school believing that Ellen is a girl in the first place. If she were to show up tomorrow as a boy, we would be forcing her to out herself as a boy who spent an entire day in a skirt - well, biologically a boy,” he reassured me with a glance, “only for her return to being a girl… and… likely to be outed again as transgender. Imagine the disruption in classes! Alternatively, if we simply allow her to continue as a girl, we’ll have little or no distraction in the classroom and she will certainly have far fewer problems that way. It’s better for the school and no doubt it’s preferable for you, Miss Llywelyn.”

“Yes, it is,” I confirmed. “Very much.”

“Hmmm. Yes, that does make a great deal of sense,” my father acknowledged. “Although, I imagine that a doctor’s note is required, and we don’t have one… because we have yet to see a doctor about this, although,” he glanced at my mother, “let’s certainly do that soon!”

“Yes, that is the one thing preventing us from making an easy decision that Ellen should attend as a girl. To fully resolve this situation, we will indeed need that doctor’s note. Here’s what I can do. Make an immediate appointment for a consultation as to whether investigation into Ellen’s gender is indicated – and I can not imagine it turning out any other way,” he reassured me, “and have that doctor send in a letter acknowledging that such inquiry is medically indicated and underway. We’ll keep that as a preliminary doctor’s note and as documentation that a doctor is involved. Then, when you do receive the official doctor’s letter, we will update our records with that one. Meanwhile, Ms. Moneypenny, please change the records back to reflect Miss Ellen Llywelyn, as she already has a feminine ID and I’m sure it won’t be long – and besides, we can show that she is enrolled as a girl if there are any problems.”

“Right away, Sir!” Ms. Moneypenny smiled and turned to do as requested.

“Now, erm… w-what about exercise? I-I mean the locker rooms…” my mother began.

“Oh, I already chose home exercise and, since I have an ID made for a girl named Ellen, it went through without any problem.” I mollified.

“Yes, you see, the records are normally only changed once we receive that official doctor’s letter. Thus, our gym staff would have believed that Ellen’s attendance as a girl was already approved – which it is.”

“I understand.” My mother nodded. “So, Ellen,” she turned to me. “Why didn’t you say something when you were handed the girl’s uniform this morning?”

“Well, there was no time! If you’re late to class, you get detention. Besides, my records showed that I’m a girl named Ellen and I didn’t think they’d believe me if I tried to tell them there was a mistake. Plus, as Mr. McGonagall confirmed earlier, I would have been told that wearing trousers was against the rules for a girl!”

“Oh, I see. You really couldn’t win, could you?” She agreed.

“I certainly don’t see how,” my father agreed. “Well, the only question I have left is whether you know who changed the records and did all of this?” he queried.

“It was Mark Henderson, Dad!” I told him.

“Mark Henderson?! You mean the same little punk from your old school in California? He’s here??” My father stared at me.

“He was until today, yes.” I smiled at Mr. McGonagall, who couldn’t help but smile back.

“Yes, his time here is at an end.” He confirmed.

“Well.” My father took a deep breath. “It’s too bad that we had to find out about you as a result of that damned Mark Henderson’s antics, but we are glad to know so that we can do whatever we need to do to help you through this. You know that we love you, right?” He smiled.

“Yeah, Daddy.” I reached out and hugged him. “Two girls, now, Gwen!” he chuckled to my mother, who merely smiled.

“How do you want to tell Meg, honey?” she evaded, looking back to me.

“Oh, she texted me when she got here and I gave her the short version – oh, and a pic. She’s excited to have a sister!” I grinned.

“Well, I think we’ll fill her in properly when she gets home and we can all relax… and I can have a glass of wine,” Mom chuckled.

“Well, I suppose that everything is as settled as it can get for now, so we won’t take any more of your time,” my father stood. “Sorry about your bad day at the office,” he joked as he reached to shake hands.

“Well, the hoodlum is no longer a problem and the rest of it has ended well enough, so I feel much better!” Mr. McGonagall declared as he returned the gesture.

I wondered what a girl was supposed to do to be polite, but my mother stood to leave, so I followed her lead. Realizing that I hadn’t seen Shannon in a bit, I glanced around the room but she had left. Wasn’t she going to say goodbye? My heart sank. Well, maybe she’s waiting outside politely. At least, I hope she has time.

“Alright, my daughter. Let’s get you home!” My mother smiled, putting an arm around me. As we stepped out of the office. Shannon stood up from a couch in the nearby lounge and came over timidly, clearly worried about how it had all turned out. I checked our surroundings for onlookers but thankfully the place was empty, save for a couple of kids halfway down the hall.

“Everything’s okay. Mark Henderson is done here and I’ll be coming to school as a girl.” I told her, before hugging her tightly and then introducing her to my parents.

“You’ve made a friend already! That’s wonderful.” Mother beamed.

Turning to Shannon, I explained, “She means that it’s kind of a first. I never really fit in before… and now I think I probably know why. It’s starting to make sense.”

Shannon nodded with a knowing look.

“Well, give us until the weekend, but uh… I think we should have a celebratory dinner and you’re invited, Shannon!” My mother suggested, looking to my father for his input.

He nodded with enthusiasm. “Yes, I think that’s a wonderful idea! I know that we… all… have adjusting to do with this big news, but it’s good news,” he looked to me to reassure me, “and it should be celebrated.”

“I’ll be there!” Shannon grinned. “It sounds great!”

With that, we walked out of the school and I stepped into my new future.

~ * ~

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Skirting Disaster

Author:

Mona Lisa

Caution:

CAUTION

Audience Rating:

Restricted Audience (r)

Publication:

500 < Short Story < 7500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

Other Keywords:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Kelly is a month into her freshmen year of high school. He and his friends, Alexis and Sarah, have just finished the first round of tests of the semester and they decide to relax on a Saturday evening. Alexis invites them over for a game of Truth or Dare, along with their new friend Megan, who Kelly wants to ask out. However, Alexis also invites over the two guys that she and Sarah have been dating. Those two guys reject Truth or Dare and insist, instead, that everyone must accept one dare. What will Kelly have to do? Will he ask Megan out? Will she accept? Most importantly, will Kelly survive the night?

Skirting Disaster
by Mona Lisa

“Who’s the criminal among us?” Alexis half-joked from her perch in the center of the curved couch, raising the lights with a remote control. Playing with her long, honey blonde hair, she looked around at her friends, her blue eyes daring anyone to answer. Meanwhile, the ending credits to a classic movie called The Breakfast Club played on the 96 inch movie screen in her top-notch basement, along with the theme song, “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds.

They were a month into their freshman year of high school, and had just completed their first round of tests that semester. The Saturday evening get-together had been a way of blowing off steam and welcoming a new friend in their group.

Megan was dressed smartly in designer blue jeans and a powder blue camisole under a black wrap sweater, her shiny, layered, shoulder-length hair flattering her face. Her blue eyes stole periodic glances at Kelly as she rested in her chair at one end of the couch.

The plush basement was a bar, a game room, and a very nice home theater all rolled into one. The walls were painted in a rich cabernet, providing color yet adequate darkness during movies. The furniture was walnut and dark caramel suede. The room was a bit of a man cave, yet a nice place to retire.

“I don’t know that any of us is a criminal. But I’m the athlete and you are definitely the princess. I mean, look at this room!” Sarah enthused from her end of the couch, adjusting her U.S.A. Women’s Soccer jersey and her light brown ponytail as she turned sideways to face her friends.

“And Megan is the brain,” Kelly flirted, from his end of the couch - near Megan. His almond-shaped brown eyes admired her face as he gently tucked a straight, brown lock of his chin-length hair behind one ear, his other hand absently playing with a button on his denim jacket.

“Maybe.” She tittered, momentarily covering her smiling face with one hand as she slumped to one side in her chair.

“Oh, I’d say so,” Sarah agreed. “How many languages do you speak, again? Three?”

“Yeah, three. English, Spanish, and Russian,” Megan admitted, shrugging. “I have a diverse family.” Deflecting the attention away from herself, she quipped, “So, uh… who’s the basket case?”

Since the others were now spoken for, eyes rolled toward Kelly.

“Uh… why is everyone looking at me?” He shifted uncomfortably.

“Are you a basket case?” Megan teased with a giggle.

“Uh, w-well, like the movie says, ‘We’re all a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.’” he breathed, desperately hoping to conceal that he was the basket case. Megan flashed him a playful knowing look. Well, at least, she seems too nice to say anything.

“And we’re back to my original question,” Alexis giggled, straightening her pink sweater. “Who’s the criminal among us?”

TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!!

Alexis yelped as all eyes went to a small window near the ceiling. Just outside it, two guys began cackling.

“Hi, guys!” Sarah rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

“Dave!!” Alexis whined. “You almost gave me a heart attack!!” With that, she stood and stomped her way upstairs, muttering and giggling under her breath.

“Um, was that a bad omen?” Kelly half-chuckled, glancing at Megan as she shrugged.

“I don’t know.” She glanced at the window. “But I hope they’re not our dates,” she murmured to Kelly, her eyes following Alexis up the stairs.

“They’re not,” Sarah purred, “they’re ours!”

I still wish you hadn’t invited them, Kelly bemoaned.

Moments later, Alexis descended the stairs, followed by the two guys from the window.

“Hey, guys!” Sarah smiled, clearly liking their six-foot, muscular, eighteen-ish, tee-shirt-and-jeans appearance.

Sensing Megan’s apprehension - as well as sharing it - Kelly assured her, “Really. They’re Alexis and Sarah’s dates. They’ve been seeing each other for a couple of weeks.”

“Oh.” Megan relaxed, but Kelly noted a subtle sag to her expression.

Unless I miss my guess, I’d say she feels a tad left out, even though she doesn’t like these guys, Kelly sensed. “W-well, uh… we-we’ve been thought of, too,” he told her. “Hopefully our dates are, uh, more to our liking.”

“Well!” her smile returned with a note of caution. “Not to be ungrateful, but… I hope they’re not blind dates!”

“No, not blind dates.” Kelly had just enough time to shake his head before the guys plunked down on the couch between him and Sarah, making Alexis sit in the other chair opposite Megan. Kelly scooted away from them to the very edge of the couch.

“Sorry!” Dave chuckled. “Didn’t mean to scare you ladies!”

“Oh, yes you did.” Alexis giggled. “You’d better behave!”

“Oh, wait. You’re a dude.” Dave studied Kelly, pointing a “finger gun” at him. “Just kidding!” Dave chuckled.

They just had to come. It couldn’t just be the girls. Oh, no, not that. Kelly chafed.

“Come on Dave, you know Kelly by now, though I don’t think either of you have met Megan over there.” Alexis realized.

“Hey there. I’m Frank.” He eyed Megan long enough for her to lean away, fingering her black opal pendant.

Why don’t you keep your eyes on your date, you dick? Kelly stewed.

“Got any booze?” Dave smirked.

“Oh, shut up!” Alexis playfully pooh-poohed him.

Why don’t I think he’s kidding? Kelly wondered. Well, as long as they keep their hands to themselves. He glanced down to his right, wishing he could move away.

“Whatcha watchin’?” Dave gestured at the screen, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

“We just finished a classic called The Breakfast Club.” Sarah told them.

“Oh yeah? Good flick. Love that Bender dude.” Dave bantered. John Bender was the criminal in The Breakfast Club, and it made Kelly uneasy that Dave approved of the scoundrel.

Rolling her eyes, Alexis decided to change the subject. “Alright, the movie’s over already. Next on the agenda…” She glanced at Kelly, who paused but nodded.

“Whatcha cookin' up?” Dave smirked.

“Who’s up for Truth or Dare?” She made her eyebrows dance as she looked around the room.

“Truth or Dare’s for sissies.” Dave insisted. “I have a better idea: everyone gets one dare that they have to accept.”

Kelly glanced at Megan and saw a nervous expression on Megan’s face mirroring his own.

“Now, hold on a minute-“ Alexis began.

“Okay, you can set boundaries,” he mollified. “Go ahead.”

“I will not undress, have sex, drink booze, or do drugs. And nothing that would hurt anyone or… burn the house down.” Alexis demanded.

“I second that,” Megan nodded.

“Same here,” Kelly readily agreed.

“Works for me,” Sarah added.

“Fine. Who’s taking the first dare?” Dave grinned.

What about your boundaries, guys? Don’t you have any limits? Kelly pondered, sharing another look with Megan.

“I’ll go first,” Sarah volunteered.

“Dare you to flash your tits,” Frank blurted.

Smirking and unruffled, Sarah drawled, “I believe we said no undressing. Try again.”

“Oh, come on!” Frank whined.

“You behave!” Alexis asserted. Sarah swatted his knee.

“Kiss me?” Frank attempted.

“You’re on.” Sarah happily draped her arms around him, and moved in for lip-lock. Dave and Alexis were bold enough to cheer at the spectacle.

A little decency, puh-lease! Kelly’s eyes sought refuge in Megan’s - and he found himself offering her the same. Kelly shook his head, as his eyes wandered to the ceiling. Maybe we shouldn’t… well, they seem harmless enough… so far, at least. But I’m keeping a wary eye open.

“Okaaaay!” Dave “high-fived” his buddy, Frank, who hung his tongue out like a dog. “Who’s next?”

“I dare you to belt out the national anthem on the front lawn,” Sarah challenged Frank, knowing perfectly well that he could sing about as well as a hippopotamus.

“Oh shit,” he moaned.

“No take-sie backsies!” Sarah chided.

“I’ll do it, I’ll do it!” Frank assured her, standing and pulling his underwear out of his backside before they filed up the basement stairs toward the front door.

* * * * *

Congregated on the front lawn, they prepared to witness the spectacle of Frank trying to sing. Kelly couldn’t help glancing at the neighbor’s homes and hoping none was currently occupied.

“Ooooooh, saaaaaay can youuuuuuu seeeeeeeee!” Frank began.

“I’d rather listen to a leaf blower,” Megan whispered in his ear, making them both laugh.

“Byyyyyy the daaaaawn’s earrrrrrlyyyyyy liiiiiiiight!”

“Louder, dude! Don’t be a pussy.” Dave goaded.

“What so prooooooooudly we haaaaaaailed, by the twiiiiliiiiight’s laaaaaast gleeeeeeamiiiiiiing. All right, that’s enough. I dare to you ask for more.” Frank finished.

“One dare each, now!” Sarah half-joked. “You already got yourrrrrrrs.” She flirted, deliberately brushing her body against his as she passed him.

“Oh, brother!” Kenny whispered to Megan, who rolled her eyes, nodding her head.

* * * * *

Back at the theater, once everyone was seated, Frank encouraged the games to continue. “Next dare, please!” He rubbed his hands together with enthusiasm as he looked around the group.

“Dare you to give me a lap dance,” Dave picked on Alexis.

“Why, you little lecher!” Alexis reacted with faux indignity, rising and drifting toward the low cabinet in front of the screen, ensuring that she tossed about her wavy, honey blonde hair - and showed her butt to Dave.

Shit, those baby blue eyes are definitely giving him the come-on. Jesus, you two! Enough already! Kelly silently observed. Judging by Megan’s chuckling, she had much the same thought. I can see that she’s getting nervous, though. Not that I blame her; so am I! Kelly noted.

Briefly turning away from the crowd, Alexis put on Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” Channeling her best exotic dancer, she allured her way back to Dave and gave him that lap dance. Megan and Kelly locked eyes more than once to avoid watching, Megan covering her mouth with one hand as she laughed.

As the song wound down, Alexis turned down the stereo from the remote, but left the music playing. Mentally tabulating who was left to take a dare, Kelly realized that Megan had yet to take one. I’d better do something before Frank dares her to give him a lap dance to compete with Dave. Sure, he’s dating Sarah, but the way he’s looking at Megan, that won’t stop him. Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” came on, giving Kelly an idea.

“Hey Megan, I dare you to dance this song with me!” Kelly smiled.

“Boooring!” Sarah whined.

Yet, the relief and enthusiasm on Megan’s face told him that he’d made a good move - as did the sour look on Frank’s face. As Alexis cranked the volume again, Kelly took Megan by the hand and danced them both behind the couch, where there was plenty of space. Kelly showed considerable skill with his moves, spinning Megan around and letting her spin him around in kind.

Nervous as he was, he did his best to show signs of interest without being vulgar about it, maintaining eye contact with her as they let the music lead them both. Before long, they lip synched the words to each other.

You… make… me… feel like I’m living a…
tee… nage… dream… the way you turn me on.
I… can’t… sleep… let’s run away and
dooon’t ever look back, dooon’t ever look back.
My… heart… stops… when you look at me.
Just… one… touch… now, baby, I believe.
This… is… real… so take a chance and
Dooon’t ever look back, dooon’t ever look back.

Throughout the song, they managed to hold each other’s hand and not let go. The song ended with hearty applause from the girls and facetious cheers from the guys. What’s the matter, guys? Are your balls too small to handle a chick song? Kelly shook his head as he followed Megan back to their seats.

“Alright! Who’s taking the next dare? And let’s make it interesting this time.” Dave enthused, staring at Kelly. Britney Spears’s “Work, B**ch” played next and, glancing at Kelly, Megan blurted, “Dave, I dare you to dance to this solo!”

Alexis and Sarah erupted in laughter. Dave leaned his head back and groaned, “Aw, fuck!” Shaking his head, he stood up and started dancing, with an annoyed look.

Meanwhile, Alexis made eye contact with Kelly, her face asking a question. Should we go through with our plan? He bit his lip. Well, I think these guys are more obnoxious than dangerous. This is going to be a lot more drastic than I had wanted, but… if I have to take a dare - and that is the rule - then I want it to come from Alexis, not from those guys! Looking back at her, Kelly slowly nodded. I hope nobody freaks out.

As the song neared the end, Alexis abruptly cut the music. “Alright, y’all. One dare left.” She looked straight at Kelly, and quickly continued before the guys could speak up. “Kelly! I dare you to dress up as a girl!” She glanced at Megan, who seemed surprised, but not bothered. “All the way! From the skin out!” She feigned an evil smirk. “If you’re man enough!”

Frank guffawed. “That’s not a man!” he gestured at Kelly. “I don’t know what that is!”

Kelly paused as he rose, but stood fully, all five and a half prepubescent feet of him. He wasn’t hurt, but he was feeling very uncertain of things. So he took a dig at my manhood. Big deal. I still think it’s safe enough.

“Come on, Kelly, I’ll help you out,” Alexis volunteered.

“I’ll join you after I use the powder room,” Megan offered, grabbing her purse as she rose.

“Why do you need your purse to pee?” Frank kidded her, still giving her more attention than his date.

The poor girl’s probably on her period and doesn’t want to carry the tampon in her hand, Kelly silently empathized. Megan merely rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“Okay. Follow me,” Alexis smiled.

Kelly felt relieved to be leaving the room. A quick glance gave him the sense that Megan did, too. “You know, Kelly, you don’t really have to do this. Fuck ‘em,” she whispered her assurance.

“Uh… it’s okay. I’ll survive.” Kelly smiled, mounting the stairs. “But thanks.”

* * * * *

When they reached the upstairs floor, Alexis gestured across the light gray hallway with white-painted oak wainscoting toward the bathroom. Megan went in and Alexis led Kelly into her room across the hall. I have always liked this room, Kelly mused. He loved the teal and rust color scheme, and the queen-sized bed with its colorful comforter cover and matching canopy.

“Okay.” Alexis whispered. “Are you sure you want to do this?” She reached into her closet and handed Kelly the duffle bag that he had provided.

“Well,” Kelly sighed, “this won’t be anywhere near as gentle an approach as I would prefer, but… I still need a way to get a sense of things without revealing more than it’s safe to while doing it in a way that’s nonthreatening. I don’t know how else to do that. I might get some snide remarks from your dates, but I can handle snide remarks.”

Alexis shrugged. “They’ll be fine. They’re just… total guys.” She giggled. “Come on! Do you really think that we would date violent thugs?” She smirked.

“No, I don’t think you or Sarah would date violent thugs,” he smiled bashfully.

“Alright, I’ll let you change.” With that, she turned and stepped into the hall.

Kelly removed his denim jacket and olive cargo pants, placing them carefully on the bed. Stripping naked, he hurried to put on the nylon lavender bra and panty set, followed by the denim skirt, white turtleneck, white, leather belt, lavender cable-knit sweater, lavender tights, white Keds sneakers, and white, stretchy headband.

The toilet flushed and Alexis stepped into the room, looking over her shoulder. Kelly pulled a makeup pouch out of the duffle bag and handed it to Alexis as he sat at her vanity.

“How’s it coming? Whoooo, look at you, Kelly!” she smiled, giggling at his transformation-in-progress as she sat on the bed. “Tights and everything, huh? Wow, Alexis, you really went all the way, didn’t you?”

“That’s right, baby!” Alexis enthused.

“Eh. The rule is, I have to take the dare,” Kelly shrugged, his heart now revving in his chest with Megan eyeing him. Well, she’s still smiling.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Megan inquired, her nose gently crinkling.

Uh oh. That doesn’t look too good. “Well, there’s really no harm done, right?” he smiled, wishing he could calm down.

“No, I guess not,” she smiled. “You’re certainly taking it well.”

Thank my lucky stars I’m holding together. I’m more nervous than I anticipated!

Adding a heart-shaped silver pendant around Kelly’s neck and replacing his skull-and-crossbones earrings with dangly silver teardrops, Alexis declared him finished.

“Okay, Cutie! Stand up! Wow, you really do look like a girl,” Alexis giggled.

“Um, thanks, I think!” Kelly chuckled, moving toward the full-length mirror standing in one corner. He started to smile at the makeup job but made his expression an amused one before turning to Megan. “I hope you’re not freaked out by this.”

“No, I’m not freaked out. Maybe a bit curious as to why you seem relatively calm about it, but that’s all,” she insisted.

“Good.” Kelly took a breath. “Well, shall we head back downstairs before those guys come looking?”

Now Megan’s smile dimmed. “I suppose so.” She took his arm and they headed downstairs to meet Kelly’s fate.

* * * * *

From the kitchen, at the top of the basement stairs, they heard the sound of a crowd cheering from the basement television. The two guys, ostensibly watching the game, hollered loudly at whatever had just happened.

“Was that a home run or a touchdown?” Alexis giggled.

“Who cares?” Kelly muttered, winning a laugh from Megan.

“Right??” She agreed, glancing at Kelly as she released his arm to leave her purse on the kitchen counter.

“Well, here goes,” Kelly sighed, his heart speeding up.

“Okay.” Alexis turned and started down the stairs, followed by Megan and Kelly.

* * * * *

On the way down the stairs, Kelly lagged behind somewhat. He glanced at the guys, wary of letting them see him that way, and saw them clinking bottles of beer in a toast over the most recent play. Oh, no! They’re drinking! This is really starting to go south. Megan glanced over her shoulder at Kelly on her way down, perhaps echoing his thoughts. He wondered how many beers they had downed and a quick look at the bar revealed two more empty bottles sitting on the counter. Shit, they don’t waste time!

“We’re back!” Alexis announced, sitting in the same chair and frowning at the drinking. “Hey! Who said you could raid the beer?” She demanded, only to be ignored.

“Don’t hate me. I had to accept the dare.” Kelly tried to kid.

“Whoa!! Holy fuck!!” Dave shot to his feet, making Kelly take a step back.

“Oh, JESUS!!” Frank shouted, jumping off the couch as well. “Too far!! Too fuckin’ far, dude!!” He stabbed his finger at Kelly with the hand holding his bottle before taking a swig.

Kelly could only stand there, rooted to the spot and trembling.

“Whoa, guys, it’s just a dare,” Alexis stood up, glancing at Kelly as she tried to calm them down, clearly becoming afraid of their behavior.

“That’s no dare!” Frank pointed at Kelly. “That’s a faggot! You want me to kick your ass, faggot? I should kick your ass up to your head! Faggot!”

Kelly shakily turned to Megan. “Why don’t we head for the kitchen and, uh, make some popcorn, hmm?” He warned her to follow.

“Popcorn. Yummy,” she tried to giggle, though Kelly knew she was becoming frightened.

“Yes! Food! Good idea. You know where the pantry is, right?” Alexis encouraged.

“Yeah.” Kelly nodded, heading for the stairs, watching to make sure that Megan was behind him.

* * * * *

As they stepped into the kitchen, Kelly stopped and turned around to face Megan. Judging from the look on her face, she knew that they hadn’t come up there for food. He glanced at the basement stairs to make sure the guys weren’t following them and looked back at Megan, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. Alcohol plus threats equals goodbye! Let’s get out of here!”

“Yeah. That sure didn’t take long!” Megan nodded, grabbing her purse.

“Do you think Sarah and Alexis will be okay with them?” Kelly fretted.

“Well, they were lecherous, alright, but they’re respecting boundaries, other than the beer, at least. Let’s just go. But first…” She froze with a hand on Kelly’s shoulder, her eyes narrowing in thought. “Where’s the pantry?”

“Right here,” Kelly led the way. “What do you have in mind?” He pulled the door open and watched Megan rummage in side.

“I’m just thinking that they’re expecting us to make popcorn. So… if we put a bag in the nuke box before we go…” She found what she was looking for and held it up. “They’ll think we’re still here.”

“I love the the way your mind works,” Kelly smiled, as Megan darted for the microwave.

“I’ll set it for two minutes. I don’t think that will burn it,” she glanced over her shoulder as she started the oven.

Kelly leaned on the kitchen island as he waited for Megan to finish. Together, they left the kitchen and went for the front door. When they got to the front door, Megan glanced at Kelly and stopped. “Your clothes!”

“Oh, my God!” Kelly turned around to look up the stairs. He dropped his gaze as he deliberated and something on the floor caught his eye.

“Oh, shit!!” he hissed, staring at what he had found.

“What??” Megan spun around to face him.

“Uh, this just look a serious turn for the worse!” Kelly worried, pointing at the floor between the foyer and the dining room, just below a series of coat hooks.

“Is that a fresh condom??” She grabbed his arm. “What the-??” Megan stared at Kelly in horror. “Alexis was abundantly clear about no sex - or even undressing! Sarah agreed! We all did!”

Kelly stared at Megan. “Yeah, and anyway, they should know by now those girls aren’t open to that-”

“-but they obviously came here planning to have sex-“

“-and they’re getting drunk. I’m calling 911!” Kelly insisted, beelining for Alexis’ kitchen landline.

“I have my cell phone!” Megan offered, putting one hand in her purse, but pulling it back out as Kelly had already reached the landline in the kitchen.

Snatching up the handset, Kelly tried to dial but noticed that the phone cord plugged into the back of the base had been cut so that it couldn’t be simply plugged back in. Slowly turning to stare at Megan in fright, his jaw slacked open.

“What? No dial tone?” Megan swallowed.

“No! They cut the cord right here!” Kelly held the cut end.

“Oh, my God!!” Megan gasped, speaking rapidly as she dug in her purse. “There’s an extension in the basement and probably elsewhere, but… that isn’t a standalone phone.” She nodded at the landline as she pulled out her cell phone. “It’s the brain of the whole phone system. It’s the only extension that plugs into the phone line. The rest use the electrical wiring to talk through this one. Disable it up here and it’s dead everywhere else!” She looked down at her phone to dial 911. “Why is there no signal here??”

“What?? Let's go upstairs and grab mine!” Kelly held out his hand, which Megan took.

She followed him up the stairs as she crammed her cellphone into her purse with the other. Bursting into Alexis' bedroom, he grabbed his cellphone and… “No signal??”

“What??” Megan was stunned. “Do we have the same carrier?” But a quick comparison revealed that they did not. “Maybe we’re in a dead zone? Did you have a signal in here before?”

“Yes, I did! Five bars!” Kelly emphasized. “What is going on??”

Megan glanced at the bedroom door. “They must have brought a cell phone jammer!”

“Are you serious??” Kelly gushed.

“You can get them on the Internet all too easily,” Megan lamented.

“Shit. We have to get the hell out of here - but we can’t just leave Alexis and Sarah. They’ll be raped!” Kelly darted for the top of the stairs.

“Kelly, wait!” Megan worried, thinking he was going straight to the basement.

She was a few steps behind him as he shot down the stairs. To her surprise, Kelly stopped at the top of the basement stairs and called out.

“Hey, Alexis? I was thinking, why not some chips and salsa, too? That’s always fun!” Kelly shouted down the stairs, hoping to hell he didn’t sound worried.

“What? Kelly!” Alexis whined as her footsteps approached. “You bugger! You know I’m allergic to cilantro-“ Alexis trailed off as she neared at the bottom of the stairs, cocking her head as she realized that Kelly was frantically motioning her to come upstairs.

“Oops! Well, come up to the kitchen and pick something else!” Kelly tittered, staring at her with bulging eyes.

When Alexis took a couple of steps toward the kitchen, Kelly pointed behind her. Luckily, Alexis understood. She looked behind her, trying to sound playful. “Hey, Sarah, come help us in the kitchen! We’ll have fun, maybe some girl talk.” She forced a giggle. “Come on, girl!”

Kelly could see the firm warning on Alexis’ face.

“I can always go for some girl talk,” Sarah replied as she got to the stairs, her smile fading when she saw Kelly.

When the girls arrived in the kitchen, Kelly and Megan told them of the cut landline, the jammed cell phones, and the fresh condom on the floor near the coats. Alexis’s hands flew to her face, her eyes bugging out.

“Hoooooooly shit!!” Sarah trembled.

Alexis’ face crumpled as the thought of the betrayal crushed her heart. Sarah was simply numb.

“We’re leaving. NOW.” Megan insisted, checking the timer on the microwave. “We’ve got sixty seconds before the popcorn finishes. That’ll give us a small head start.”

“Should we leave those guys in your house?” Sarah mumbled in her daze.

“Forget the house. Our safety matters more.” Alexis decreed, willing herself to calm down.

“We’ll go to my house. It’s the closest one - and my parents should be home.” Kelly insisted, as they moved to the coat closet in the front hall, where they quietly but rapidly donned their coats and crept out the front door.

Alexis, the last one to leave, moved to the alarm panel next to the door. Realizing that the alarm was connected to the phone line separately from the telephones, she had an idea. The system had a second code, called a hostage code, that could be used in the event that the resident was forced to disarm the system by an intruder. The system was designed to respond by appearing to disarm while, in fact, hailing the authorities.

She would have to arm the system for that to work, but with a little luck, the game on the TV in the basement would cover the beeping from the alarm. Alexis armed the system and punched in the hostage code, muttering, “Fuckers!” Then she followed the others outside, closing the door behind them.

The alarm company wouldn’t bother to call to verify the distress signal and the police would know to beware the guys inside the house, who in turn would have no idea that the police had been summoned.

They headed quickly for the end of Alexis’ driveway, and turned right, in front of the tall oleander bushes along the side of the road. They were beginning to calm down as they walked, and Alexis began babbling, “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe they lied to us. I mean… they’ve been conning us this whole time! I just can’t believe it!”

“Yeah… well, at least we’re safe now,” Megan tried to console her.

“AAAAAAAAAUGH!! What the fuck??” Dave shouted from the front stoop, twenty yards behind them, spooking them into quietly running.

“Get in the car!! Let’s split!!” Frank shouted. A few seconds later, a car roared to life, its tires squealing as it shot backward out of Alexis’ driveway, knocking over the plastic trash cans across the street.

“Oh shit!” Kelly stared behind her. “Here they come!” And all they could do was run. At first, the 1970 Bronco shot right past them, far too close for comfort, and disappeared around the bend just ahead. The runners stopped, trying to catch their breath.

“Do you think they’re gone?” Alexis croaked.

“I don’t know. By now, they know we’re onto them.” Kelly murmured.

“Yeah, that’ll be what Dave was hollering about back there,” Megan agreed.

Sure enough, their tires squealed as they turned around, and the sound of their engine approached again, this time from the oncoming direction, their headlights piercing the rural darkness as they swept back around the bend.

“Oh no!” Alexis wailed before turning and bolting, with Sarah on her heels. And with that, Kelly and Megan ran after them.

“They’re coming fast!” Kelly warned, turning to make sure Megan was close by.

Dave’s car careened around the bend and aimed across the road straight for them. Sarah was an athlete and Alexis had longer legs than any of them. They got well ahead of Kelly and Megan. Alexis and Sarah disappeared into a neighbor’s open front gate - but the car was still bearing down on Kelly and Megan. They wouldn’t make it.

He grabbed her and pulled her behind a stout tree on the side of the road. The car swerved to avoid the tree and the tail slid ninety degrees, causing the tires to trip on the asphalt. The car rolled over several times, landing upright with a collapsed roof. Nobody got out of the car. The engine was dead and the night was silent.

“Megan? Are you okay?” Kelly checked.

“Yeah.” she squeaked, trembling in fear.

Kelly wrapped an arm around her as he stared at the wrecked car. “Alexis?” He turned to look for her.

“Is it safe?” she uttered, peeking out of the neighbor’s yard.

“Looks like it. Let’s get back to your house in case they survived,” Kelly suggested.

“Does anyone have a cell phone signal?” Megan inquired, now calmer, getting out her phone. Kelly stared down at his own phone in his hand.

“Oh, I-I already summoned the police from the alarm system.” Alexis stammered.

“Okay, then let’s go back and wait for them. They should be here any minute,” Megan proposed.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Kelly agreed.

Glancing behind them at the wrecked car, they started the fifty-yard walk back to Alexis’ home. On the way, Megan looked at her phone, turned it on, and called 911. She wasn’t taking any chances. It took the rest of the way to the house to explain the situation to the police and that she was with the resident who had used the hostage code on the alarm.

* * * * *

When they got to the kitchen, the smell of popcorn was still lingering in the air with a hint of smoke. Alexis darted for the microwave, which had long since turned itself off. Removing the bag of popcorn, and pulling it open, she saw that the popcorn had been mildly burned.

“Maybe that was what brought them out of the basement,” Megan murmured.

“And tipped them off that we’d left,” Kelly finished the thought.

“Jesus.” Alexis sniffled, tossing the bag in the sink and getting a paper towel to wipe her tears. “I still can’t believe this. I really liked him.” She paused, as the others stared at her. “I never knew he was like this. He conned me until tonight and I believed him. I swear to God I never would have invited him if I’d known. Or Frank.”

Sarah bowed her head. “I’ve been had, too. They conned us both. I feel like such an idiot. I should have seen something, anything that would have warned me, but I didn’t.”

“Honey, these guys were being what you wanted them to be to gain your confidence,” Megan reassured. “They made sure that you didn’t see anything wrong.”

“I know. I just can’t help feeling like an idiot,” she mumbled.

“Me either,” Alexis commiserated.

The doorbell rang, and Alexis went to meet the police. The others drifted after her, perhaps not wanting her to face that alone. By the time the officers left, they revealed that Dave and Frank had been killed in the accident outside and that a quantity of roofies had been found on their persons as well as a cheap cell phone jammer, which had been destroyed in the wreck. Not only had they had meant business, but the police suspected that they had been involved in three earlier local incidents. They hadn’t found enough evidence until now. Only now, it was over.

* * * * *

In the basement, which now smelled of beer, Alexis cleaned up the bottles and wiped down the bar, the others sitting silently on the couch. Megan glanced at Kelly with an expression suggesting that something was on her mind.

“I guess our dates never showed, huh?” She probed, looking deep into Kelly’s eyes.

Kelly sighed before responding, “Well, to be honest, we’re still not sure if they’re coming. This has been such a crazy night.”

“Hmmm.” Megan’s eyes scanned Kelly’s appearance before returning to his eyes. “By the way, whose clothes are you wearing?” she smirked. “You’re smaller than Alexis and… she doesn’t have a sister - in fact, she’s an only child - and Sarah’s sister is, what, six years younger, so… tell me? How did you happen to have girl clothes available in your size for that, uh… dare?”

“The truth is, they’re mine,” Kelly admitted, watching Megan’s eyes widen, her brows rising. “I was the first to arrive and I had them with me. If you’re wondering why I own girl clothes in my size-“

“Mmmm hmmm,” Megan teased, smirking.

“-and you are,” Kelly took a breath, “the answer is that I’m transgender. I’m a girl.” Kelly continued. “For now, I can only be myself at home, here or at Sarah’s house, but come spring semester, I will be myself full time.”

“And the fake dare was…?” Megan probed, thankfully with a smile.

“Absolutely necessary,” Kelly insisted, her face becoming serious. “Dave and Frank made it clear why - and I didn’t even come out to them; they just saw a dare which they thought went too far - even though it was their idea that you had to accept the dare.”

“And they still reacted violently,” Megan nodded.

“Yeah. And girls can be dangerous, too. A week before I graduated from grade school, I trusted a girl who was part of this group,” Kelly gestured to Sarah, Alexis, and herself, “until she started coming out to people for me despite explicit instructions not to because I never intended to come out there at all. That bit of carelessness got me several punches, a few trips down the stairs, and a black eye, so, clearly, it’s very dangerous for me to reveal what I am. Now, I can’t spend the rest of my life hiding, but until I come out at spring semester, the only people in the world who I want to know are in this room or members of my immediate family.” Kelly reflected Megan’s intense stare.

“I wanted to reveal myself to you tonight, because I don’t believe in secrets between best friends-“ Uh oh! Did her smile just dim? “-but I needed to know that it was safe to do so. Unfortunately, I just didn’t see the violence coming. I didn’t feel that my physical safety was in jeopardy until I came downstairs as a girl to find them drinking, getting rowdy, and threatening to kick my ass up to my head. It was just… I read them too late.”

“I think we all did that,” Alexis murmured, flopping down in a chair watching Kelly come out to Megan.

“It was never my intention to be deceitful, Megan. I just wanted to have the option not to come out in case I needed it. We were going to be very gentle about this and back off at the first sign of distress in you. It was supposed to be a normal game of Truth or Dare, with just us girls. At first, Alexis was going to dare me to put on the headband I’m wearing now and that’s it. If you seemed comfortable with that, then Sarah was going to dare me to add the makeup, these earrings and the necklace.

"If you were still comfortable, then Alexis was going to dare me to dress up in girl clothes. She was going to pause for a second to see if that seemed to make you uncomfortable, which she did, and if all was going well, she was going to add ‘from the skin out,’ again, which she did. When I came back down here dressed as a girl, if you were still okay with everything, that was when I was going to reveal to you that I am a girl and,” Kelly took a breath, “ask you out. On a date,” she smiled.

Megan’s face brightened as she added, “So that’s why the other… ’dates’… came along?”

“Yes,” Alexis conceded.

“Why should you two be the only ones with dates, right?” Sarah smirked half-heartedly.

“Right,” Megan nodded. “Okay, Ms. Kelly Gray. Normally, I would not appreciate being tested, but in this case, you do have every justification to protect yourself, so you’re off the hook.” She beamed. “And I would be delighted to go out with you. On a date.” She extended her arms to receive a hug which Kelly gladly gave.

“Oh, look! Our dates have arrived,” Kelly murmured in her ear, making Megan giggle… until she kissed her.

"By the way, you are the basket case," Megan chided, winning a laugh from all, before she kissed Kelly right back.

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

The Demon (Inspired by "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe)

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

Mature Subjects (pg15)

Contests:

October 2010 All Hallows Eve Story Contest

Publication:

Verse, Poetry, Lyric

Genre:

Character Age:

Mature / Thirty+

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I brooded weak and weary
Some demonic cloud the likes of which I’d never seen before
All at once took shape before me, making all my soul implore me
“Flee this evil dark and stormy, quit the room, go out the door!”
Yet it moved so that I could not leave the room, or reach the door
I could but stare and nothing more

* Please note that the dark themes in this submission are only for Halloween "entertainment". I am happy to report that I am no longer feeling this dark. Hooray!

The Demon (Inspired by "The Raven" By Edgar Allen Poe)

Fearfully I looked into it; one way only to construe it
It had come for me, I knew it. “No,” I heard myself implore
Struggling to speak I sputtered; gripped with cold, my heart so fluttered.
“Tell me you’re a dream,” I muttered, wond’ring what it waited for
“Just a scary dream,” I shuddered, dreading what it waited for
I could but stare and nothing more

Knowingly, it gazed into me, utter blackness seeing through me
Yet somehow the darkness drew me, dragged me deep into its core
Deep inside, perhaps expected, my mortality reflected
So it was that I suspected, that I was to live no more
Surely it had come to claim me and I was to live no more
Frightening silence; nothing more

Slowly in its darkness sinking, as I stood with eyes unblinking
Eerily, I started thinking, that perhaps I would explore
Roads in darkness sadly ending, hearts of loved ones soundly rending
Death by my own hand impending, danger I could not ignore
Fear that I could not avoid it, fear that I could not ignore
“Am I doomed to live no more?”

“Go now! Leave me!” I insisted; though it drew me I resisted
Dark seduction deeply twisted, dark I’d never known before
Fighting hard I grew so weary, and my vision soon so bleary
All this left me feeling dreary, shaking me unto my core
Weakening my constitution, draining me unto my core
“Go away forevermore!”

“I have never, ever wanted manly life of brawn so vaunted,
Doomed to live a life so haunted, like some sick and twisted lore!
’Twas the universe that made me, and to be myself forbade me
And forever to evade me, caused the love I’m dying for,
Caused forever to evade me, O the love I’m dying for!”
The demon hovered; nothing more

“Never did I seek to wander, nor depravity to ponder!
Never did I want for soul and body to conflict at core
Yes, I changed because I had to, and it’s true that I was glad to
Some might say I must be mad to, live my life a man no more
Still, hereafter I’m a woman living as a man no more,
The demon hovered; nothing more

“Are my troubles insufficient, is this punishment deficient
That you bring this dread efficient scaring me unto my core?
Is my suff’ring somehow lacking, that you bring this fear so racking?
Are you here to start attacking ‘til I beg of you no more?
Must you come and torture me until I beg of you no more?”
The demon hovered; nothing more

Soon I trailed off my ranting, ceasing my intense decanting
Sneering at the demon planting seeds of sadness at my core
All was quiet save my breathing, while I shivered wrought and seething
Glaring at the smoky demon floating just inside my door
So infuriating me just hanging there inside my door
Livid silence; nothing more

I was spent and spoke no longer, and I felt my dread grow stronger
As I stood at odds with this dark black demonic cloud of yore
While my mind so weary wandered, precious seconds, minutes squandered
Sitting down while deep I pondered, knowing I could say no more
Still, the smoky demon would not leave and I could say no more
Only silence; nothing more

It was then that I surrendered, and a bid for change I tendered
It was time to lay to rest my former self forevermore
‘Twas this truth so disconcerting, knowledge of it pain averting
Quite a near disaster skirting, near for I could bear no more
To the past I sent my former self for I could bear no more
To its death to haunt no more

Soon I felt my whole self changing, my emotions rearranging
Death for brand new life exchanging, stronger faith in Something More
Bringing out new strength inside me, and perchance new joy betide me
Always waiting there to guide me, deep within was something more
Lurking always in my being, long concealed was something more
Something I’d not seen before

Suddenly, the demon faded; that it would not win persuaded
Dreadful feeling still pervaded, yet the demon was no more
Shakily I sat in wonder, at the spell I’d fallen under
All of my beliefs asunder, reinvented evermore
Staring into empty space now re-imagined evermore
The demon gone to haunt no more

[ Other Works By Mona Lisa ]

The Initiation

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

17,500 < Novella < 40,000 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Other Keywords:

No violence or humiliation

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

Steven yearns for acceptance. His sister and friends want to put makeup on him. In exchange, his sister offers honorary sisterhood among her tight-knit group of friends. When they see how he looks, they want to dress him en femme and for this his sister promises full sisterhood if he accepts. However, another member of the group is more protective of this sisterhood than the others. Having justifiable concerns about allowing a boy to be part of that circle, she insists upon including an initiation to ensure that he is worthy of their sisterhood. What will Steven have to do? Will Steven pass the initiation?

(There is no dominating feminization and only a brief mention of a past bullying incident.)

THE INITIATION

Stephanie

Spring Break
Friday, March 21, 1986

CHAPTER 1

I screwed up! One mistake was all it took to expose my secret! In the early afternoon of the second day of my spring break, the Agatha Christie novel I was reading lost its fight with the rising temperature in my room. Sighing under my breath, I stepped into the off-white painted hallway to check the thermostat. To no surprise, I found it set too high.

Why does Liz always turn this damn thing up?

It was an ordinary inconvenience but, engrossed in my novel, I had taken too long to respond this time. Rolling my eyes, I twisted the thermostat dial to its proper setting.

Where the hell is she, anyway? This is too much even for her!

That was when I realized that I could hear her voice wafting up from the kitchen downstairs.

Oh, she’s on the phone again. No wonder!

Rolling my eyes, I returned to my room. As I closed the door, I noticed that my blonde ponytail, which I kept down the back of my shirt to hide its length, was overheating my neck and back. I opened the window to cool the room, but that would take awhile and I hated perspiring. Besides, I had just washed my hair. It still smelled of my coconut shampoo! Sighing, I pulled my ponytail out of its hiding place and, standing before the mirror over my dresser, I removed the elastic band. I brushed out my hair, which hung nearly to what would have been my bust line if I had been a girl, and redid my ponytail at the back of my head. When I finished, I let it hang outside of my shirt and away from my neck.

It was a girlish way to wear my hair, and I felt vulnerable not knowing what Liz would think if she saw it, but I couldn’t leave it hanging against my skin. It was too hot.

Well, Liz is downstairs and Mom and Dad are on a cruise to Mexico. The room will cool down soon enough. No-one will know.

However, there was one more complication. The heating system always dried out the air and that soon made me thirsty. Sighing loudly, as I had just gotten through doing my hair in its exposed, feminine style, I rose and opened my bedroom door to have a listen for Liz. There was nobody else in the house, as she was my only sibling.

Liz knew about the length of my hair, but even she hadn’t seen me wear it in such a girlish way. If she ever did, she might decide that I was getting carried away and change her mind about keeping my hair a secret from our parents, or so I feared.

She was still talking on the kitchen phone, which she did often enough to annoy our mother to no end. Satisfied that the coast was clear, I eased out of my room and stole down the off-white-carpeted stairs. Liz stopped talking as I got a few steps down. When I reached the bottom, I heard the distinct sounds of someone dumping trash into the can outside.

Liz is taking out the trash! This is perfect! I only need a few seconds!

I darted into the kitchen, planning to be gone before she returned. I was halfway across the plank floor before I heard the shriek.

“Oh, my God! Look at Stevie’s hair!!”

I froze on the spot, as I recognized the voice of Dinah Slocum, Liz’s friend.

Oh shit!! What have I done??

Our white, farmhouse table was in the near right-hand corner, far enough to the right of the kitchen door that it could not be seen from outside the room. Liz and I had made occasional use of that quirk to give each other a mischievous morning scare, to our parents’ eternal consternation. Now the Universe had played that same card.

Turning around in slow shock, my face white, I caught a glimpse of the next-door neighbor stepping up to his back porch with an empty trash can. My gaze swung toward my sister and Dinah, who were seated at the table with Samantha Walsh, their friend and my crush. All of them gawked at me as though I had run in naked.

I’ve made a royal fuckup!! That’s what I’ve done!!

Liz stood wringing her hands, her face a vision of sympathetic frustration, as though she had jumped to her feet, trying and failing to warn me before the others saw me. Dinah stared at me with her eyes wide and mouth agape, rising from the table. Samantha squealed, clasping her hands and grinning, her shoulder-length sandy blonde hair dancing as she hopped to her feet. “Wow! Stevie! I had no idea your hair is so long!!”

She beelined over to me, fingering my ponytail as if to confirm that it wasn’t an attached fall. Dinah followed her, by all appearances mesmerized. Liz drifted over with an odd expression on her face betraying that she had noticed my feminine hairstyle.

“Erm... y-yeah.” I stammered. “I’ve been g-growing it.”

It was all I could do to hold back from executing a perfect facepalm. For more than fifteen months I had gotten away with hiding the length of my hair down the back of my shirt. Now, my crush stood gazing upon my feminine hairdo and finding that my hair was longer than hers!

I can’t believe I just blew my secret! Well, at least Samantha’s not screaming and running down the front steps!

Dazed, I stood there, in the rustic kitchen, not knowing what to do, other than quench my thirst. Meanwhile, the girls had a shared idea, judging from their faces. It was Dinah who spoke it.

“Oh, now we have to put makeup on you! Can we? Please?” she blurted, making me take an involuntary step back.

“Yeah!!” Samantha jumped on Dinah’s bandwagon. “Can we please, Stevie? Please??” Her gaze was enough to melt my heart – and her puppy eyes always worked on me.

How awkward is it that my crush wants to put makeup on me?! I’ve only recently been getting the feeling that she likes me and now this happens! God damn it!!

“I’ll tell you what.” Liz negotiated. “We’ll make you an honorary sister if you let us!” Always the peacemaker, she was just being fair – but, knowing her, she was also having a bit of fun at my expense. Dinah looked at her askance, but remained quiet.

Samantha’s face lit up, as she nodded with enthusiasm. “I love that idea!” She approved!

They had no idea how much I wanted their acceptance. They were tight-knit friends who thought of themselves as sisters. Even honorary sisterhood was a privilege for someone trustworthy, and I knew that I wanted to be that someone. To me, that kind of acceptance was a dream. My long hair got me picked on at school, along with my short stature and glaring lack of masculinity, which helped not at all. As I scanned their faces, I found approval in each one – except Dinah’s.

Turning to Liz with her arms folded, Dinah insisted, “Erm, Liz? A boy can’t be a sister. Duh!”

“I said honorary, didn’t I?” Liz mollified.

“Oh, alright!” Dinah caved with a giggle, making it obvious how much she wanted to see me wear makeup.

Now that the sisterhood was in agreement, I decided to let them put makeup on me. It was the acceptance that I wanted; I didn’t care that they were girls. Besides, Samantha seemed to want this as much as Dinah did, and the thought of making Samantha happy was a genuine extra perk.

It’s only a makeup job. Who would it hurt?

Before I gave verbal consent, however, Liz grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the stairs. She knew me too well! With an impish grin, Dinah followed her lead and seized my other one. Samantha squealed and hurried after us.

Why are they getting so worked up over makeup? Is it a feminist thing to put makeup on boys?

CHAPTER 2

In Liz’s powder blue bedroom, the girls had me sit at her white makeup station, which consisted of her desk and the mirror affixed to the wall behind it. With a gentle touch, Samantha removed the elastic band from my ponytail, stuffed it in her pocket, and ran her fingers through my hair.

Suddenly, I’m really glad I just washed it!

Still marveling at its length, Dinah blurted, “I’m kind of surprised that your parents let you grow your hair this long. I don’t think a lot of parents would!”

I winced. “Well... they didn’t... exactly.”

“They didn’t? You mean they don’t know how long it is?” Samantha gasped. “How is that possible?”

I grinned. “It’s easier than you think. They’re both attorneys who work long hours. When I shower, I clean up all of my hairs, wrap them in toilet paper, and flush them. When I get dressed, I hide my ponytail down the back of my shirt. I started doing that as soon as it was long enough, and collared shirts came in handy for a while. It’s a cinch to hide my hair from my parents.”

“What about school, though?” Samantha probed as she spritzed my hair with a spray bottle that Liz kept in her room.

“Well, that stopped being a problem the hard way. Surely you heard about the locker room incident last fall?” I looked up at Samantha.

“Yeah. A couple of boys started throwing punches, as I recall,” she frowned at the memory.

“Exactly. The school expelled my attackers, and agreed to permanent home exercise in lieu of a lawsuit. That’s the benefit of a private school* and two attorneys for parents!” I smirked. “Anyway, after that, it was easy to hide the length of my hair at school. A boy’s hair doesn’t have to be super short. My hair is always hidden, and collared shirts are required under the dress code, so they still think my hair is within the rules. It’s easy.”

(*In the States, private schools are funded by the families of the students, which means that those schools are fully empowered to choose which students to admit as well as to decide upon their own rules.)

“Have you always known about his hair, Liz?” Dinah inquired.

“No. He actually made it six months before I walked in on him brushing it out in the bathroom,” she chuckled.

“I forgot to lock the door,” I admitted, giggling. “But it’s kind of a good thing, because after that, Liz taught me the benefits of using the right shampoo and conditioner – and she even trims the split ends every once in a while!”

“I guess it was a blessing in disguise, but frankly, Stevie, I’m amazed you weren’t found out sooner. I guess, today, you finally let your guard down, huh?” Liz glanced at me.

“Yeah, I guess so!” I shrugged with a nervous smile.

“Alright, enough talk! I want to see a makeover on Stevie!” Dinah gestured at me.

* * * * *

“Okay, hon. Let’s pretty you up!” Samantha turned on the hair dryer and began blow drying and styling. When she was done, my hair had graceful, feminine waves. She then gathered the top half and fastened it at the back of my head with an elastic band. “Close your eyes!” She recommended. After I did, she finished the job with hair spray.

“Time for makeup!” Dinah giggled. She set to work and dolled me up with light mascara before adding light penciled eyeliner to give a touch of the classic “puppy eyes” style. She added pink lip gloss, and pronounced the makeup done.

Liz could not resist adding a white ribbon to cover the elastic band, which she added with impish giggle. They had me stand and brought me over to the full-length mirror on Liz’s closet door. When I saw my reflection, I drew in a soft breath, amazed at what I saw. “Wow! I look so different!” I marveled in a hushed tone, as though admiring a painting in a museum. Puberty had yet to begin for me, which meant that I saw no masculinity.

“You look incredible!” Samantha gushed! The look on her face expressed something complex. I wasn’t sure what I saw in it... until she stood behind me and wrapped her arms around me. In the background, I heard Liz and Dinah whispering and giggling, perhaps kidding each other that Samantha and I made a cute couple.

Wrong!

“Stevie, how would you like to become a full sister to us?” Liz proposed, making Dinah turn and stare at her with a face full of angst.

I would love it! More than anything! I hate being the outsider!

“Now, wait a minute! Just hold on! Liz, I told you. Boys can’t be sisters, stupid!” Dinah snapped, standing with her arms akimbo.

“Does she look like a boy to you?” Liz pointed out.

“Well, not at the moment! Duh!” Dinah confessed, making us all laugh. “But he is one!”

“Dinah, in case I didn’t make it clear, I’m talking about Stephanie being a full member, not Stevie, okay?” Liz explained, winning another round of giggles... except from Dinah. She was not amused.

“No, it’s not okay! You never said anything about him being a full sister!” she called Liz out.

“Well, no, but we’re talking about it right now,” Liz soothed.

“Well, hey, I love that idea!” Samantha weighed in, with her hand raised.

“Well, how could I be a full sister?” I ventured in a nervous voice, staring at them, hungry for their acceptance. It was obvious that Dinah found the prospect less than thrilling but, at this point, I was only trying to understand what Liz was talking about in the first place.

“Well,” Liz began, “For that, you have to let us dress you up as a girl from the skin out, wearing everything that we tell you to.”

“Girls’ clothes.” I acknowledged, staring at nothing.

“And you have to face an initiation,” Dinah insisted, her arms crossed like a displeased bouncer at a nightclub. She was putting up a fight about Stephanie becoming first an honorary sister and now a full one. She was not about to back down.

“I-initiation?” I stuttered, my widened eyes staring, my face blanched.

“We need to know that you are worthy of our sisterhood. There must be an initiation.” She stated, in a take-it-or-leave-it tone.

I knew the look on Liz’s face like I knew the color of our house. She was debating herself. Samantha seemed to be in a similar state.

“Erm, Dinah, what’s this about an initiation? We really should discuss these things and decide on them together?” Samantha peered at Dinah with hooded eyes.

Dinah took an unsteady breath, but it was Liz who spoke. “Well, I think that’s what she’s doing right now. She just proposed the initiation and now we’re discussing it.”

“Right!” Dinah agreed, holding her arms with elbows in and palms up. “As a girl, I just feel that...” She struggled for words, searching her mind, crossing her arms. “...I am not comfortable with a boy being a part of my closest circle of trust, okay?” She sighed. “I mean... we talk about girl stuff... meaning No Boys girl stuff. Come on!” she implored her sisters.

My heart sank. Awwww! Why am I always stuck being the outsider?

Yet, in my mind, Dinah was right. “I can understand that. I think you have a point.” The last thing I dared to do was to give Dinah, or the others, any reason to distrust me. If the sisters were not in full agreement, then... I wanted them to discuss it further.

“Well, I mean, we value our sisterhood, too, Dinah. You’re right about what we talk about, and about trust, but I know Stephanie. She’s family. I know that she would fit,” Liz stated.

“I was going to say almost the same thing,” Samantha smiled. “I feel the same need that Dinah does to protect my closest circle of trust, but...” she shrugged. “Steph is a perfect fit and I absolutely trust her with it. I mean... even Stevie’s not exactly one of the guys.” Then she turned to me. “I know that you can handle the No Boys girl talk. You’ve walked into the kitchen while we were talking about that kind of stuff at the table and you haven’t responded in the same demeaning way that the boys do. You’re...” She took a breath as she chose her words with care. “Well, you’re different is all.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I murmured, with a tentative smile.

So it really is okay with the other sisters... and an initiation is fair... depending on the initiation, of course.

“Then the next step is to tell me what the initiation is. I mean... it’s not some kind of a prank, is it?” I ventured.

“No, it’s not a prank, but... in fairness, we haven’t thought of everything yet.” Dinah chuckled. “Hmmmm. You definitely have to walk in our shoes for a while for me to even consider letting you into our group. How about this? After we dress you up completely as a girl, your initiation, with the approval of all sisters,” she glanced at her friends, “is to go somewhere outside of this house, somewhere public, I mean. When we get there, how about... you find one of the girls there and talk to her and... let’s say, you deliver a short message? That way, if you’re nervous, you don’t have to figure out what to say.” Dinah revealed. Sarah and Liz stared at her mutely for a moment, before mumbling their approval.

“If that’s okay with Steph, it’s okay with me.” Samantha added.

I think I understand this choice of initiation. If I’m not willing to step into their shoes for a while, and to be a girl for a bit, then why should they consider me a sister? How would I deserve to be their sister? It really wouldn’t make any sense.

“What message?” I probed. “I mean... how do I know it won’t... hurt her feelings or humiliate us both or something?”

“It won’t be anything like that. What do you think we are, anyway?” Dinah scowled.

“Sorry. I’m just... being responsible. I would think you want that in a sister.” I challenged.

“True,” she admitted.

“We absolutely do,” Samantha agreed, smiling at me with admiration.

“So what’s the message?” I demanded.

“Erm, well, okay, we don’t know the message yet.” Dinah giggled, getting the others started. “I promise you, though, that it will be harmless.” Then her eyes widened in true dizzy fashion. “How about just telling her that it’s an initiation and you’re on a mission, or something like that?”

“That sounds reasonable,” Liz approved. “But the way you phrase it sounds a bit like a frat boy or a soldier to me, at least for our purposes. Let’s rework it a bit. I don’t want her giving herself away.”

“Okay. How about saying that you’re on an adventure like Alice in Wonderland? How’s that for a message?” Dinah offered, with the same goofy expression.

“Works for me!” Samantha smiled.

“Yeah, same here,” Liz agreed.

“Well, I’m definitely going through the looking glass, I’ll give you that!” I joked, winning a laugh.

“Yeah, you are!” Liz agreed.

“Okay... but there are other things you haven’t revealed. Where am I going and who am I talking to? I’m not going in a women’s locker room, if that’s what you have in mind.” I insisted. “I’m not going to do anything... you know... scandalous.”

“I’ll say it again. What do you think we are?” Dinah smirked. “We just got through telling you about wanting to protect our circle of trust and you think we’re sending you into a girls’ locker room?”

“Okay, terrible example. But you know what I mean,” I persisted, standing my ground. “And you still haven’t answered my questions.”

Now Samantha crossed her arms and peered at Dinah, her growing suspicion making itself evident.

Dinah sighed. “I know I haven’t. Let’s decide that right now. I think that we need to choose someone safe for you to talk to and there’s only one person who I know is safe. That’s my sister, Emma. She’s your age, Steph, and she will have no idea what’s going on.” Dinah giggled. “Just so you know, well, Emma’s not going to figure you out, but even if something went wrong and, by some miracle, she did, she is not going to freak out. She won’t even care. Like I said, she’s safe.”

“Okay. You’re making sense,” Samantha approved. I nodded along with her.

“I agree,” Liz nodded. “Okay then. Where should we do this?”

“Well, for Stevie to truly step into our shoes for a while, it can’t just be someone else’s house, right? That’s no different from here. It has to be out in public somewhere. If Stevie is going to find Emma and talk to her, then the easiest place to go to is Emma’s school,” she smiled. “It’s all-girls. Today’s her last day before her spring break. Her school gets out at three o’clock, so the timing will work, too.”

Samantha and Liz both looked conflicted.

Meanwhile, I marveled, “You want me to dress as a girl... in public... at a girls’ school?”

“Well, it is a safe place, Steph,” Samantha allowed, rubbing my shoulders. “Besides, I will tell you right now that if anything happens to you, then... let’s just say something will happen to Dinah,” Samantha glared at her. “You know I will kick your butt.”

“Yeah, Dinah. I have to agree with that.” Liz agreed.

“I’ll tell you what,” Samantha looked around the room. “Let’s pause right now. Let me speak to Steph privately. You two, please leave the room. Go on!” She gestured to the door. They shrugged at each other and stepped out of the room.

CHAPTER 3

Samantha closed the door, leaned on it, and blew out a breath that lifted her bangs. With a smile, she walked over to me and put her arms around me. “You know Emma’s school, don’t you?” She checked.

“Yeah. We drive by it all the time. It’s in a good neighborhood. It’s impressive looking. It never makes the news,” I kidded, making Sarah grin.

“I know it sounds insane to send you into any school dressed as a girl, but you know I would never allow anything to happen to you.” She locked eyes with me. She really meant it!

“Yeah, I know that.” I smiled.

“Okay. So, here’s the thing.” My eyebrows rose as I teetered on the edge of losing myself in her baby blues as she continued. “I know that it’s important to you to find acceptance and that trust matters to all of us, especially Dinah. That’s why we would be there with you. We would make sure nothing happens to you. Like I said, it’s a girls’ school. Not many girls are going to beat you up. We’re not like boys.” Then she caught herself. “Oh, erm, neither are you. I don’t mean you.” She tittered.

“I know. It’s okay.” I assured her.

“So what do you think? I suppose I’m of two minds about this, but I think that an initiation is fair as long as we do it properly.” she reasoned.

“I do, too. This is scary to think about, but...” I looked down for a moment before looking back up into her eyes, knowing that I trusted her. “You’re right. An initiation done properly is fair and a girls’ school is probably safe. It’s also a great place for me to blend in among hundreds of other girls. Besides, I’m only going to be there for a few minutes at the end of the day. I’m not enrolling as a girl!” I joked, before taking a breath. “Anyway, I want to do this. For the sisterhood.”

“Okay,” she beamed. “Let’s bring the others back in.” Releasing me, she took my hand and led me to the door.

CHAPTER 4

“Alright, sisters. Steph has an answer.” Samantha announced from the doorway.

“So?” Liz fought her anticipation. “Are you going to do it?”

“Samantha tells me that you will all be looking out for me.” I waited for an answer.

“Of course we will,” Liz insisted, looking at Dinah.

“Well, yeah, we will be there to look out for you! Otherwise, we’re not very good sisters!” Dinah’s eyes widened. “Oh, wait! You don’t think we’re just going to dump you off, do you?” She shot off her mouth.

“I didn’t... until now,” I stared at Dinah.

“Di-nah! Don’t scare her like that!” Samantha scolded. “Ugh! I swear, you can be so impulsive sometimes!”

“Sorry. I just wanted you to know that we are positively not doing anything like that.” Dinah apologized. “Like I said, we wouldn’t be very good sisters!”

But I’m not your sister, not yet. Then again, Liz is. So is Samantha. Dinah wouldn’t let them down, would she?

Fighting off fresh doubt, my mind easing, I nodded. “Okay, then I’ll still do it.”

For a moment, I reconsidered whether their acceptance was worth all of this. Yet... they weren’t hiding anything. I trusted them. Deep down, I knew that if I could make friends with these girls... and keep them as friends... then maybe it was worth it.

Aw, hell! It’s totally worth it.

Mine was a world without real friends, except for two boys who didn’t mind me. What would it harm to let these girls dress me up? Who would it hurt? They would have their fun and I would be accepted into the sisterhood! We would all come out of it winners!

“Okay.” I looked back at them. “I’ll do it... to be a... f-full sister, I mean.” My words stumbled but my gaze was steady.

“I’m proud of you,” Samantha smiled.

“Well... you know my reasons,” I responded. “I know,” she whispered. “You want to be accepted. I do, you know. I accept you.”

“Yeah, I know. But thanks, Samantha. That means a lot.” I beamed.

“Alright then! Let’s get started, huh?” Liz suggested, drawing our attention. “We have work to do.”

“Work? Nah, this’ll be fun!” Dinah kidded.

* * * * *

For the next ten minutes, they polished my nails and dried them with a hairdryer. It was not lost on me that applying the polish was a sensual process and even the motions of the brush were smooth and graceful. Yet, wearing the stuff was enough to provoke my nerves. Once the polish was done, Liz jumped to her feet.

“Alright. Nail polish is done. Next step!” She chirped as the girls went to work.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t go away,” Samantha smiled, batting her lashes.

As Samantha crossed to the closet, Dinah unzipped a duffle bag on the floor, making me wonder if the girls were staying over for the night. She took out a pair of matte-black, leather, flat shoes with rubber soles and straps over the insoles. Transferring those to her left hand, she then extracted an unopened package of off-white pantyhose. With my eyes wide, I stared at the hosiery.

Samantha opened the closet door, revealing a garment bag hanging on the door that I knew contained a dress. As I watched, she unzipped it and crossed to the bed holding a navy tank dress with a scoop neck, a curved, drop waist and a tartan design. Red, white, and green bands of color criss-crossed one another to make the pattern. It looked as though it would hang just below the knee. Samantha returned to the closet and got out a white, scoop-neck, long-sleeved top and placed it on top of the dress. Next to the feminine garments, Liz laid a bra and panty set in navy satin, along with a set of foam falsies, making my eyes bulge.

As I gazed upon the feminine finery, suspicion germinated in my mind. Given Dinah’s reaction to the prospect of my full sisterhood, the offer was unpremeditated, as was the initiation. However, it was now beyond question that they had planned to dress me up as a girl all along, even before I blew my secret about my hair. Still, as my eyes came to rest on the dress, I smiled at the thought of wearing something of Samantha’s. It felt almost as though she was extending some measure of intimacy.

“Now, don’t be embarrassed to wear falsies. I used them back when my hips started to flare and the girls were off to a slow start,” Samantha gestured at her breasts with a giggle. “A lot of us need a little help when we’re just starting out. That’s your first sisterhood secret to motivate you to pass this initiation,” she smiled, walking over and putting her arms around me. “Seriously, though. If you dress up in that,” she pointed at the bed, “and pass the initiation, you will be a full sister!”

“That’s right!” Liz agreed, staring at Dinah.

“Yeah, you’ll be a full sister,” Dinah concurred, in a half-hearted tone.

“Okay, hon. We’re going to go downstairs to let you get dressed. I think you’ll look amazing,” Samantha flashed a dreamy smile. Somehow, that smile made me feel better about all of this.

“Okay,” I sighed. “I’ll, uh... just change my clothes then.” I held her gaze.

The other two girls turned and headed for the door. As they got there, Samantha turned to follow them, closing the door behind them.

CHAPTER 5

As though the feminine finery pulled me in, I drifted over to the bed to stare at the garments.

They want me to wear panties... and a bra... and pantyhose! They want me to wear them in public. Why not? I am willing to step into their shoes for a while. I want to be accepted.

As I contemplated where to begin, I found that I was afraid to mess up my hair, as though doing so would get me rejected. Acceptance was so close and I didn’t want to ruin it. I needed a strategy to remove my t-shirt without messing up my hair – or my makeup!

Pulling my arms inside it, leaving them free to grasp the collar, I bunched up the shirt and eased it over my head in a slow, careful motion. Once it was behind my head, I gently held my hair and let the shirt drop to the floor. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. On impulse, I picked up my shirt and put it on the bed. Next, I slid my pants to my ankles and stepped out of them, placing them on top of my t-shirt. Taking a breath, I removed my underwear and socks, adding them to the pile. Feeling awkward about having disrobed in Liz’s room, I picked up the panties and stepped into them. They had a comfortable, snug fit.

With a bit of adjustment, I found that I could improve the fit and the appearance. The bra looked as though it would pose a challenge, but as I studied it for a minute and saw how it worked, I slipped my arms through the straps and reached around to fasten it. It took some groping, but it worked. Eyeing the falsies, I inserted the foam sculptures into my bra, one at a time.

With the lingerie on, I glanced at my body... and saw none of the curves found on a girl beyond the foam breasts. My body gave the appearance of having the opposite problem to Samantha’s. It was the hips that were off to a slow start. To be more accurate, they had no idea that they were in the race!

I hope I don’t look stupid as a girl. I would really hate to go out in public that way! Well, the falsies aren’t all that big. I think I look normal enough for my age.

As I turned to don my outfit, my heart warmed, knowing that the clothes belonged to Samantha.

I love that they’re hers and not Liz’s or Dinah’s! I feel like I’m somehow closer to her this way. I just wish I could stop feeling so nervous and enjoy this intimate feeling! Alright, the top has to go on first. How do I put it on without disturbing my hair?

Picking it up and fretting, I decided to reverse the steps that I had used to remove my t-shirt. I bunched it up and carefully passed it downward over my head until I had it around my neck. Then, while my arms were free, I pulled my hair upward through the collar and let it fall behind me. Now I could put my arms through the sleeves.

Okay, I sighed. Now what? Pantyhose or dress? I’m thinking pantyhose. Gawd, I can’t believe I’m about to wear pantyhose!

Putting them on took some thought... until I remembered the time when my mother had been brash enough to pull on a pair in the living room. She had been running late that day, bustling into the room in her tweed skirt suit and heels, wondering aloud what the hell she had done with her damned pantyhose. She snatched up a shopping bag, retrieved a package from it, ripped it open, sat on the ottoman to pull them up to her knees, and stood, raising her skirt to slip them up to her waist. All of this she did while I was in the front hall, frozen mid-step with a surprised expression, as I went to get my coat for school.

As I chuckled at the memory, it came to me that I remembered admiring the feminine grace with which she did that, if not where she did that, wondering why women were so graceful, even in a rush, while men gave their movements little thought. Recalling my mother’s technique, I made quick work of donning the hosiery, wary of keeping the girls waiting.

With that done, I held the dress in my hands, my mind filling with a memory of Samantha wearing that dress to a party two years earlier. She had looked beautiful in it and I wondered if I would look as good. My anxiety flared with that uncertainty and the thought of my crush seeing me in her dress. Then I marveled that I was curious to know if I would look as good.

Examining the dress to see if it needed a slip, I found that it was lined. A quick glance at the bed yielded no indication that the girls had provided one. The garment bag in the closet was empty when I went over to check. That made up my mind and, after I lowered the hidden side zipper, I stepped into the dress. It didn’t belong on the floor, I was sure, but I had already risked messing up my hair once. Pulling on the dress, I zipped it up and smoothed it, making sure that it hadn’t picked up any lint from the off-white carpet. All that remained were the shoes, which I stepped into with ease.

Now dressed as a girl, I stood and returned to Liz’s full-length mirror to see what I looked like... and straighten my hair, if need be. Everything fit and the falsies made the dress hang well. Even the hips looked like those of a normal girl who was slow to develop. I liked what I saw! It was like nothing I had ever experienced before, especially the bra and pantyhose! I loved the way the off-white nylons looked and felt on my legs.

Smiling at my reflection for a couple of minutes, as I gently dragged a few loose strands of hair back into place, I turned and headed downstairs. When I reached the door and opened it, I stopped and turned to look toward the mirror. With one last smile, I headed downstairs.

CHAPTER 6

My gait into the kitchen was soft, measured, and feminine this time, my steps small. Samantha was the first to notice. She uttered a soft gasp and rose to throw her arms around me.

“I knew you’d look amazing!” She squealed.

She is so cute when she does that!

“Wow, Steph! Look at you!” Liz admired.

“Yeah, wow!” Dinah’s face radiated her struggle to wrap her mind around what she was seeing. “You look like you were born a girl!”

“You’re going to do great!” Samantha beamed.

“I’m really nervous!” I murmured. “I can’t believe I’m doing this!”

“Are you feeling ready?” Liz checked.

“As ready as I’m going to feel, yeah.” I nodded.

“Okay, then. If we leave now, we’ll get there about the time that Emma gets out of school. That’ll be perfect! Let’s go!” Dinah enthused.

And if the students are leaving then I won’t be there very long! That will be perfect!

“Let’s go!” I accepted before taking a deep breath.

“There is one more little thing.” Samantha pointed out, making everyone stop in the front hall.

“I just want to remind everyone to call her Stephanie while we’re out, okay?” She turned to me, placing gentle hands on my shoulders. “If we call you Stevie, or worse yet, Steven, then you could be found out, of course.” She shrugged.

“That’s a good point. Steph it is,” I agreed. “Besides, you’re already calling me that,” I giggled.

“Yeah,” she chuckled. “Okay, Steph. We should get going.” Samantha smiled.

With that, Liz handed me a small purse, and Samantha took my hand, leading me toward the front door.

CHAPTER 7

Being a girl outside the house was the strangest thing I had ever experienced. A gentle breeze caressed my legs through the nylon and teased strands of my loose hair, all of it new to me. As Liz locked the door, I had a sudden revelation.

Oh, my God! I can not allow anyone to figure me out. If I can’t keep my own secret, then how are the girls supposed to trust me with theirs? It’s just so simple! If I blow this, then they’ll never accept me. Well, that does it! I will not allow that to happen!

“Ready, Steph?” Samantha smiled at me, her grin spreading to my own lips.

This is scary, but I have to be confident from here on out! Everything depends on it!

“I’m ready.” I nodded with emphasis, careful not to do anything boyish.

We turned and headed south, out of the cul-de-sac, and waited at the corner for the next round of traffic to obey the stop sign. The breeze blew strands of hair across my face which I carefully placed behind my ear with one finger. As I watched the girls walk, I saw that they used their hips for balance, not their shoulders like the boys. Knowing that, I made a conscious effort to do the same, amazed at how much I felt like a girl.

I hope my neighbors aren’t looking out their windows at me. If they recognize me and mention it to my parents, Liz will almost certainly find out about it and that will cost me the sisterhood!

As we crossed the street, with cars lining up in wait on either side, the nylons on my legs made themselves noticed.

That will remind me to behave myself! I granted myself an inward chuckle.

On the far side of the crosswalk, about midway down the block, a couple of male high schoolers walked by, going the other way. They stared, as boys do, at all of us. One of them even took a second look at me!

Weird! They’re treating me so differently even though I’m the same person, all because of what they see and what they believe!

At the end of the block, we had a green light to cross California Street. On the far side of the crosswalk was the bus stop.

“I’m glad to see you smiling, Steph!” Samantha remarked.

“Yeah, Steph! Me, too!” Liz patted me on the back.

Dinah mumbled something unintelligible, which I took to be half-hearted agreement. With a chuckle, I smirked at her antics, half-surprised that she hadn’t run out in front of a car, given that she was impulsive enough to require both of her friends to keep her in check. Meanwhile, some part of me almost wished that she would. I understood how she felt, but she didn’t have to be such a grouch about it!

Just then, an old woman in a mauve skirt and sweater set ambled up to me, her silver-rimmed spectacles reflecting the sun. “That’s a lovely dress you have on, dear! Tartan suits you!” She smiled.

“Oh! Thank you!” I grinned, bobbing my head.

A minute later, the bus arrived and we got on. The old lady sat up front and I followed the sisters to seats just behind the rear door. Dinah and I sat on the aisle, across from each other, with Samantha next to me and Liz next to Dinah.

CHAPTER 8

At the end of the twenty-minute ride, the bus came to an easy stop at a traffic light. On the right-hand side of the street, on the far corner of the cross street, was an imposing school of Beaux Arts Revival architecture with its entrance at the corner. To the south, along the cross street, was a line of double-parked cars waiting for the last bell and the stampede of homeward bound children.

There’s Emma’s school. Well, if the rule is to do this somewhere public, then it’s a good thing that her school hasn’t let out for Spring Break yet. Otherwise, who knows where I would have to go! I shudder to think!

“Okay, Steph, we’re almost there.” Dinah reported.

I looked across the aisle to her. “Emma’s a redhead, right?”

“Right.” Dinah dug out a picture of Emma from her purse and handed it to me. “That’s her. You need to go in, find her, give her the short message, and come back.” Dinah rambled, staring until I confirmed.

“Got it,” I smiled, stowing the photo in my purse.

Liz returned my smile, as did Samantha when I turned to look. With that, the bus proceeded straight across the street and the driver pulled up to the stop on California Street, directly outside the school, hissing the brakes and opening the doors.

As we stopped outside the corner entrance to the school, I murmured, “It’s quiet. They’re still in class. I’m going to stick out like a fire in a trash can!”

“Don’t worry-” Liz began, silenced by the final bell ringing out the end of the day.

“And now the hallways are jammed. I don’t know which is worse!” I tittered. “It’s okay. I’m doing this!”

Samantha smiled at me. She did that a lot and I loved it!

“Okay. Here I go!” I affirmed.

With that, I turned and stepped inside, my nylons reminding me that I was dressed as a girl. It was then that something occurred to me.

Shit. I don’t think girls wear pantyhose to school! Tights, maybe, but not pantyhose. Oh, well! I’m just glad they don’t wear uniforms or I would really stand out!

CHAPTER 9

As I entered the lobby, doing my level best to move like a girl, my anxiety intensified. At least I enjoyed being a girl in public. It made me feel a curious mix of simultaneous boldness and softness. Focusing on that sensation, I used it to manage my nerves.

A strange girl should go unnoticed here. There are plenty of little sisters at the end of the day – or big sisters. The only thing to see is the pair of nylons on my legs. Nobody cares much about that. Alright, where the hell do I go?

Ahead of me was the south corridor. It was full of young children between perhaps five and ten years of age.

That’s the lower school. Emma won’t be over there.

A glance down the east corridor, to my left, rewarded me with the sight of a sea of older girls, maybe ten to twelve years old. Emma was my age, fourteen.

I doubt she’s down that way. She must be... wherever the eighth graders are. I guess they’re upstairs.

With that, I turned and headed for the main stairs a few steps away. At the top, I let out a shudder to vent some nerve, before making myself walk at a calm pace, resisting my temptation to do the opposite. My gait was soft, measured, and feminine, much as it was when I entered the kitchen just after dressing up, with the same small steps.

They never said anything about a time limit, so I don’t need to rush this... though it might be smart not to give anyone too much time to look me over... just in case. Now, where are those eighth graders?

The second-floor, south corridor looked to be full of locker rooms and offices for the gym teachers. There were no lockers in that hallway and they said they wouldn't send me into a girls' locker room. Turning left, I followed the hallway as it rounded a corner to the right and led into the east hallway and a crowd of girls chatting at their lockers. They looked to be my age.

Hopefully, Emma is around here somewhere!

As I drifted down the hallway, my anxiety kicked up a notch until I finally spotted Emma, midway down on the right, standing a few lockers past the girls’ bathroom, in an emerald sweater and denim skirt, with matching knee socks. She chatted with a blonde friend with long, curly hair, who wore jeans and a royal blue sweater that brought out her blue eyes.

There she is! That wasn’t too hard. She’s pretty cute! So is her friend! Now to deliver the message.

Taking a silent breath to garner my nerve, I approached Emma. Her conversation paused as they turned to look at me.

“Excuse me, Emma?” I started to bite my lower lip but, catching myself, I relaxed lest I screw up my lip gloss.

“That’s me!” She chirped, turning around with a curious smile, shutting her locker in absent fashion as she shouldered her bag. Meanwhile, her blonde friend glanced at my legs.

“Hi. I’m Steph, and-”

“Hi, Steph. You already seem to know my name. This is Charlotte.” Emma introduced her friend with the wandering eyes.

“Hi, Charlotte.” I smiled.

“Pantyhose, huh? You must be going somewhere! I know you didn’t wear those to class!” she smirked as she settled into silence, watching us as though expecting to be entertained.

“Erm, y-yeah, you see, they-they’re part of my initiation into my s-sister’s, erm, sisterhood.” I stumbled, giggling with a hand over my mouth, taking a breath to calm my nerves. “I mean, they knew I’d be the only girl wearing them, right?” I chortled, rolling my eyes, hoping the two girls would accept my explanation.

“Initiation?? Uh oh! Does this have anything to do with my sister, Dinah?” Emma demanded. “It sure sounds like it!”

“Yes. This initiation is all Dinah’s idea.” I shrugged.

“Wonderful. The harebrain strikes again.” Emma carped. “What’s she doing now?” She stared at me, arms akimbo.

“Well, my initiation is to show up here in pantyhose, just to make sure I’m overdressed,” I glanced at my own shiny, white legs with a sigh, “and deliver a message to you, Emma.” I began.

“Oh, really.” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, what the hell. Lay it on me! This oughtta be rich,” she glanced at Charlotte with a chuckle before turning back to me, shaking her head at her sister’s trademark antics.

“I’m supposed to say that I’m on an adventure like Alice in Wonderland. Don’t ask me what it means. I have no idea.” I laughed, venting some of my nerve. “I mean, it’s an initiation. Is it even supposed to make sense?”

At the mention of Alice in Wonderland, Charlotte’s eyebrows rose in surprise, for reasons unknown to me.

Uh oh. I don’t think I like that.

“Nothing about my stupid sister ever makes sense!” She smirked with hooded eyes. “Now you know why I want no part of that sisterhood. Because she’s in it!” she giggled. “She bugs the crap out of me!”

“I can’t say I blame you.” I smirked. “She is just a touch unpredictable.”

“Yeah, a touch with a sledgehammer!” She laughed with a playful dirty look.

“She seems nice, though,” I hedged.

“Well... okay, I’ll give you that. She is nice. She is just so... augh!” She facepalmed.

“Erm... yeah. No argument there.” I laughed.

“So how do you know those girls, anyway?” Emma inquired.

“Easy. Liz is my sister.” I shrugged with a smile.

It was then that I remembered not to allow anyone to get a good chance to look me over. Oh God. I really need to get out of here! Alright, I just need to make a graceful exit and I’m done! “Speaking of which, they’re waiting for me and I should get back,” I explained.

“Yeah, my mom’s waiting, too!” Emma realized.

“Oh yeah! Mine too! We’d better go!” Charlotte giggled.

Oh shit! That reminds me! I hope Emma’s mother doesn’t see Dinah! What would Dinah say to explain why she’s here? She didn’t even talk to Emma! God damn it! Emma’s right about Dinah. She is just so... augh!

With that, we headed for the stairs. Most of my initiation was behind me and I began to focus on the positives. I had succeeded and would soon be a new sister! Acceptance at last! Charlotte pulled Emma into the girls’ bathroom not far from their lockers, and I descended to the lobby full of girls going home.

* * * * *

Stepping outside with a bright smile, knowing that I had passed my initiation, I stopped to look for my soon-to-be sisters... but I couldn’t find them.

Huh. They said to come back but they didn’t say they would be outside. I wonder where they are waiting?

Then I spotted another city bus idling at the stop. I gasped, suddenly unsure what was happening.

Oh no! They didn’t! They said they weren’t going to dump me off! Well, I’m not letting them get away with this!!

Darting for the bus, I tried to avoid breaking into a run because I feared it would give me away. The fates must have been with me, for I made it onto the bus, dropped the 75 cents into the fare collector and started down the aisle scanning for my new sisters. Halfway down, I stopped dead, realizing that they were not on the bus... and the bus was pulling away from the curb... and it was an express bus that wouldn’t stop again until it got downtown!

Oh shit!! What have I done? I’ve made another royal fuckup!!

CHAPTER 10

As the girls crossed the lobby toward the glass doors, Samantha could not hide her joy at the outcome of the day’s events. “She passed! I’m so excited! I can’t wait to tell her!”

“Me too!” Liz concurred.

Suddenly, through the doors, she saw her younger sister dart toward a waiting bus. “Oh, my God! Steph’s getting on that bus! Quick!!” She burst outside, followed by the others. They ran toward the bus stop only to see it pull away from the curb.

“Oh no! It’s an express bus! It’ll take her all the way downtown!” Samantha wailed. She beelined for the map at the bus stop shelter, and the others crowded in for a look.

“Here it is!” Samantha pointed at the schedule portion of the map. “The next stop is Sansome Street! That’s two or three miles from here!” Then she turned on Dinah. “You and your stupid ideas! We should have waited outside!”

“But this is an initiation! We had to make sure he didn’t just hide in the bathroom and come back out without talking to Emma!” Dinah defended.

“Well, yes, but Samantha has a point, too, Dinah. We didn’t all need to go inside and watch.” Liz realized.

“Well, before you go off on me, Liz,” Dinah adopted an abrupt, indignant, akimbo stance. “How were we supposed to know he’d get on a bus going the wrong fuckin’ way? I mean, who does that?”

“Well, I have to give you that one,” Samantha sighed. “Nobody saw that coming! Frankly, I’m surprised at her!” Throwing her arms up in the air and shaking her head, she began to think. “Okay, what’s Steph familiar with around that bus stop?”

“Well, Dad’s office is near there, but it’s no good, even though they’re out of town. She’d stand out way too much.” Liz murmured to nobody.

Samantha continued scanning the map, being the one with the best view. “Hey! Union Square’s not far!” she tapped the map with her pointer finger. “That’s only, like, a ten-minute walk from there, maybe a little more.”

“And a shopping district is the best place for him to blend in, too, by far!” Dinah added. “He’ll probably go straight there and find a payphone. Let’s go!”

“Hold up, Dinah! Let’s think this through.” Samantha blurted, eyes rolled, one hand raised toward Dinah as she concentrated. “She might ask someone for bus fare and go home. Or someone might even pay for a taxi. If so, then either way, she’ll be gone by the time we get there. I don’t know about you, but I only have one bus fare.”

“Hmm, you’re right... and if she does call home, then we’re going to want to be there when she does. Besides, I only have one fare, too.” Liz pointed out with a sigh.

“Well, that makes all of us,” Dinah reported.

“You know what,” Liz reckoned, “if her bus hits a couple of extra traffic lights and we get on a bus home right now, we might just make it before she calls!”

“Yes! That is a great idea! Let’s go!” Samantha agrees. With that, they crossed the street to wait for the bus home.

CHAPTER 11

Stunned, I tried to process the turn of events. What was I thinking? This bus isn’t even going in the right direction! Oh, right, I was thinking that they dumped me off. Stupid Dinah and her big mouth! I never would have worried about that if not for her! Well, I guess I’d better sit down.

The passenger side wall of the bus had a line of single-passenger seats against it. I selected one and sat, smoothing my dress beneath me, grateful that I didn’t have to share the seat with a stranger. A few pairs of eyes looked in my direction from across the wide aisle, and I hoped that they were too far away to figure me out.

They seem to be admiring looks, at least... but I can’t get over how strange this is!

With time on my hands and a chilled heart, I began to think things through, wondering where the girls might have gone.

They said they wouldn’t dump me off. I really can’t bear to think of Samantha having anything to do with that. She wouldn’t! I know she wouldn’t! Is it possible that they didn’t?

Then it hit me.

Wait a minute! It was an initiation! They would have to be able to verify that I really did what we agreed on. Otherwise, how would they know that I passed? They must have followed me inside to watch me talk to Emma. Then I was the first one back to the curb and when I couldn’t find them, I thought they got on this bus! If only I could have thought of that before I got on this stupid thing!

As the coach stopped for a light two blocks down the street, I reviewed my options.

I could jump out a back window. I did that once before. Of course, the driver was seriously pissed... but it’s no good. There’s no chance that a girl would ever do that in pantyhose! She’d put a ladder in them for sure! I am not giving myself away! Maybe the driver will let me off here?

I rose to approach him and ask, but as I got to my feet, I watched as an old man up front in a white windbreaker, khaki slacks, and a flat cap hat beat me to it.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you off here,” the driver barked, tired of hearing that request, by the sound of it. “I could be sued if you got hurt, even if we weren’t in the center lane!”

“But Sansome Street is two and a half miles (4 km) out of my way! I’ll have to pay extra fare!” The old man complained.

Now the driver became heated. “Look, pal! It’s your own fault for getting on the wrong bus. Either you sit down right now, or I’m going to have to radio for the cops. Now sit down!”

Miffed, the old man obeyed, muttering to himself. Knowing that I couldn’t get off, either, I sank back into my own seat, minding my skirt.

Well, shit. Now what? How much money do I have? I dug through my purse only to find that I was now flat broke. Great. I just used my return fare to go two and a half miles in the wrong direction! Marvelous.

With the bus driver in a snit, I dared not ask him where the next stop would be, but I knew that I could figure it out if I thought about it for a moment.

I remember now! My dad takes this bus to work. It stops on Bush Street at the corner of Sansome Street. Okay, then. When I get off, I need to find a payphone and make a collect call* home. What’s close to that bus stop? My dad’s office. Duh. My parents are out of town, but still, screw that! I can’t walk into an office tower in a tartan dress and white pantyhose. I don’t think I have a prayer of going unnoticed. What else is around there?

(* In case anyone needs to know, that’s the American term, from the time of payphones, for a call paid for by the party who picks up a landline phone on the other end and consents to have the charge added to their phone bill, to accommodate a caller who has no coins for the payphone.)

After a bit of thought, a solution presented itself.

I know! Union Square is only a few blocks west and maybe a couple of blocks south. I can walk that without getting sweaty.

It was a perfect plan. I knew where to find the payphones at the Macy*s across from the square. Nobody would notice a well-dressed girl in a department store, as kids were apt to go off on their own when their parents shopped for something boring like men’s wear. If need be, I could pretend to shop in the girl’s department. Most importantly, it would be a safe place to go. All of my bases would be covered.

* * * * *

At length, the bus drew up to its next stop, with a hiss of the brakes, and the doors opened. I immediately headed for the rear exit. A gallant older man stopped, bidding me to pass.

I like the way I’m treated as a girl. I’m actually getting respect from people!

Stepping off the bus, I paused to choose a route. Bush Street took on an increasing slope to the west, but to the south, Sansome Street was flat.

Alright then, I’ll head that way – and I’d better get moving. Adults might want to know what I’m doing alone in the financial district.

With that, I headed down Sansome Street. Just before I reached the first corner, there was a boy to my left, sitting in a car at a red light, staring at me with wide eyes. Rolling my own eyes, I kept going.

I’d like to kick him between the legs but I have more important things to do! Okay, maybe I don’t get respect from everyone, as a girl, but I do get much more of it this way!

I rounded the corner onto Sutter Street and, two blocks down, I found relief in the transition of the crowds from the workers of the financial district to the shoppers of Union Square. A couple of adult women gave me the inevitable dressing down for being on my own in that part of town. It was all I could do to offer an apologetic shrug, mutter that I hadn’t planned it that way, and move along. At the corner of Sutter and Stockton Streets, there was a massive, above-ground, parking garage to my right.

There are bound to be payphones in there... and I wouldn’t be out of place, but... aren’t parking lots a classic danger zone for a girl? No, I’m not going in there. I’m only two blocks from Macy*s. I’d better stick to my plan.

Crossing Stockton Street to the west, I turned south. As I passed Union Square itself, I realized that there was another parking garage beneath it, but the thought of an underground parking garage gave me the creeps like never before. I didn’t even like it as a boy, but now I feared I’d be risking my life to venture inside!

Nobody would hear me scream over those deafening exhaust fans. Talk about failing the initiation! Besides, I think it’s too noisy for payphones in there – or at least too noisy for the girls to hear me over the phone! Anyway, Macy*s is right over there!

At the corner of Geary Street, I noticed the Neiman Marcus department store diagonally across from me, but it was upscale and I knew I would draw too much attention in there as an unaccompanied minor. I crossed to the far side of Geary Street and turned right. Halfway down the block, on my left, was the entrance to Macy*s.

Now I need just need a payphone. Hopefully, the girls will answer!

CHAPTER 12

“Where the fuck is the bus?!” Dinah spat.

“I don’t know, but it’s annoying the hell out of me.” Liz agreed.

“She’s going to call before we get back and when we don't answer, she's going to think we dumped her off,” Samantha wailed, looking across the street at the school, where only two cars waited for children. The deluge of students eager for Spring Break had slowed to a trickle. They had considered asking for a ride, but they didn’t want anyone asking what they were doing there.

Just then, after fifteen minutes, the bus finally came... but it was filled to capacity. The driver didn’t bother to stop, indicating that nobody needed to get off.

“Wow! It’s packed! What the hell is going on?” Samantha marveled.

“I don’t know, but we’ll have to wait for the next one,” Dinah complained.

“Marvelous!” Liz sighed.

CHAPTER 13

Macy*s was a safe place, so long as I paid attention to my surroundings. Inside, there were plenty of children about with their parents, and I caught a couple more boys giving me a good, long look with a certain smirk. This time, I didn’t think they were more than ten years old!

Yuck! You little pigs!

I thought about how Liz would react to them. Knowing what Liz would do, I gave the little perverts a cold stare. That made them turn away in shame! I almost laughed! It gave me a certain feeling of power to be able to handle boys, but I pushed it away to remain clear and alert for creeps luring me to see puppies or... eat candy or something.

Standing before the directory, I reflected on where I’d seen the payphones.

Aren’t they next to the restrooms on the 6th floor?

A quick check reminded me that there were payphones in the basement, near the purses and wallets, but the idea of a basement held little more appeal than an underground parking garage. There were more payphones on the fourth floor, but that was the boys’ department.

Gah! Only at a porn shop would I stand out more than in the boys’ department! Besides, I don’t want to die of boredom. Next??

The directory also showed payphones on the 6th floor next to the restrooms and the Customer Service desk, just as I remembered. The girls’ department was on the 5th floor.

That’s perfect! If I don’t get an answer the first time, then I can camouflage in the girls’ department and stay close to Customer Service. That’s what I’ll do!

Avoiding the elevator, lest I share it with a nosy adult, I rode the escalator. On the way up the first flight, something occurred to me.

Uh oh. A born girl really wouldn’t browse without trying on a few things... but I wonder if I can do that without getting caught. Well, what else am I going to do in the girls’ department?

The construction of the escalators featured a landing halfway between floors and it was necessary to step off of one, make a one-hundred-eighty degree turn, and board another to reach the next floor. On each landing between floors, there was a small display of merchandise. Halfway to the 5th floor was a display of girls’ dresses. A cute, satin, turquoise dress caught my attention. I quickly fingered the material.

Oooh, it’s so smooth! Nice color, too!

Smiling with enjoyment and amusement, I turned and boarded the next escalator to reach the 5th floor. Casting a glance into the girls’ department, I was curious about browsing it, and I knew that a born girl would do exactly that, but I wanted to try calling home before I did anything else.

On the 6th floor, I stepped off of the escalator and turned left, toward the payphones in the center of that floor. All three were available. As I reached for a handset, it occurred to me that I might be able to get bus fare if I asked for it at Customer Service.

Do girls ask for money from strangers? Maybe they would ask for help, like they ask for directions, preferably from a woman. But then again, if I make the wrong choice, I could give myself away.

For a moment, I pondered my options.

I know! I’ll compromise. I’ll ask the girls when I get a hold of them. If they say it’s okay, then I’ll ask for bus fare at Customer Service and take the bus home.

I picked up the handset of the middle payphone, dialed zero for the operator, and placed a collect call. It rang but nobody answered. I was tempted to slam the handset back into the cradle, but as I shifted my body weight, my nylons reminded me not to give myself away. I replaced the handset in normal fashion.

Augh! Now what? There’s nobody else to call. I can’t call a taxi because they won’t take a collect call and I have no money. I could walk the three and a half miles home but I’d have to walk through dangerous territory if I don’t want to add another mile. Nah, I’ll browse the girls’ department for a while and call again in ten minutes. At least I’ll blend in!

As I rode the escalator down to the 5th floor, I made a decision.

If anyone asks, my mother is shopping in the boys’ department. That’s got to be miserably boring for a girl! It is for me!

Thinking of the turquoise dress I had seen, I found myself tempted to try it on.

I have to do something around here and I don’t want to give myself away.

I couldn’t hold back an amused smile.

Oh, what the hell! I’m already wearing one dress! What does it matter now?

Doubting that I was supposed to disturb the display on the landing, I elected to find the dress on the 5th floor, but as I stepped off of the escalator, I realized I had a different problem.

I don’t know what size I am. I didn’t check the tag when I put this dress on. Hey, that’s it! I can check the tag on the dress I’m wearing!

A mischievous smile crossed my face as I resolved to go through with it. As I approached the entrance to the changing rooms, I noticed a mother and daughter stepping into a cubicle on the left-hand side. On the right-hand side I saw a few open doors. I chose the nearest one, closed the door, hung my purse on a hook, and removed my dress. It took a moment to find the size but my effort was rewarded. Now that I knew my size, I could try on that pretty, turquoise gown! I put my dress back on, grabbed my purse, and stepped out of the cubicle.

For the next several minutes, I browsed for a copy of the satin dress in my size, along with a couple of others to try on, since I had to pass the time. Smiling at my choices, I returned to the changing room cubicle I’d used earlier and hung up the dresses so that I could remove my tartan one. I removed my dress and top, carefully hanging them up.

My fingers began to shiver as I removed the turquoise, satin dress from its hanger, and lowered the back zipper. There was a tag that gave information about what the parts of the dress were made of, including a built-in slip made of 100% nylon. Grinning, I stepped in. I had to reach for the zipper to raise it, and with that, it was on! On a whim, I moved my hands under my hair and rotated them out in classic girl fashion. My reflection brought a smile to my face as I touched the skirt to either side, turning this way and that.

I wonder how this would look with nude pantyhose. That would be perfect! Suddenly, I looked my reflection in the eyes. What am I doing? Did I just choose a shade of pantyhose for a dress? Wow! How strange! I giggled. Suddenly, as I stared myself in the eyes, wearing that beautiful dress, it hit me. I see a girl... and only a girl. I can't find Stevie anymore! Stevie is gone!

With a wistful smile, I heard myself sigh with a feeling I couldn’t identify and removed the dress. The next one was a powder blue affair with a round neck. It featured a placket that closed with three buttons, short sleeves, and a hemline just above the knee. Knowing that I had to slip it on over my head, I took great pains to protect my hairdo from damage. Soon, I was admiring myself in the mirror.

I couldn’t wear this one to the same occasions as the satin one, but it does match my eyes better. It’s comfortable! I could wear this all day!

Realizing that I should try calling home again soon, I removed the powder blue dress and donned the last one. It was white with short, ruched sleeves and a round neck surrounded by a rectangular flap of material.

Haven’t I heard Liz or Mom refer to these as sailor dresses? Anyway, I look so innocent in this dress! I giggled. White shoes would be nicer, though.

Admiring myself from a few different angles, I let out another sigh and decided to call home.

CHAPTER 14

“Here comes another bus! Finally!” Samantha groused.

Her stomach was in a knot. If her crush had called home, they had missed it by now.

“God, what took so long! We’ve been waiting nearly half an hour for a bus that’s supposed to come every ten minutes!” Liz agreed.

“I just hope we can get on this one!” Dinah sighed.

They were in luck. The bus hissed to a stop and the doors opened.

“Sorry for the delays, folks! Another bus had an engine fire downtown and the one that came afterward picked up all the passengers from the disabled bus plus all the ones waiting at the stops. It filled up fast until they could only let people off.” The driver explained.

“Oh, wow!” Liz murmured. “Erm, well, thank you!”

The bus was crowded, and they had to stand, but at least they were on their way to Liz’s house.

CHAPTER 15

When I got to the 6th floor payphones, they were occupied and I had to wait. Standing there, in the open, brought on self-consciousness. In the girls’ department, I could move around, ducking behind a rack of clothes or into a changing room. Now I could only wait here in full view. The people on the phones paid me no mind, at least, but suddenly, the inevitable happened. My bladder demanded attention!

Well, I’ll have to use the ladies’ room. It’s either that or the mens’ room! Gawd, here I go!

Inside, I found an enormous ladies' room nearly the size of the footprint of my house!

Well, I guess it has to accommodate the massive crowds at Christmas time!

Neither hurrying nor dawdling, I did my business and washed my hands. The mirror showed that my hair needed brushing.

Huh! I guess, in the changing room, I must have been too focused on the clothes to notice my hair! I hope I can fix it!

I wondered if I had a brush in my purse. Rummaging though it, I saw that I did have a brush, as well as a tube of lip gloss, a tampon, a packet of tissues, and a spare pair of pantyhose. Alas, it did not escape my notice what was missing.

Wait a minute! I don’t have a house key? Oh, rats! Well, I’m just going to have to make sure they will be home when I get there! There’s nothing else I can do.

Sighing, I pulled out the brush to fix my hair. The clip was still in place, so I brushed beneath it, taking care not to disturb it. A few hairs were out of place, but I pulled them behind my ears. With that done, and a fresh smile on my face, I headed back to the payphones.

When I returned, they were still occupied by the same people. This time, however, a woman of about my mother’s age hung up and turned around. She held a pair of slacks and a blouse, both in cellophane wrap. I imagined that they were new purchases. She gave me a warm smile.

“That’s a cute dress!” She complimented.

“Oh! Thank you!” I flashed my sweetest, most girlish smile.

Finally, I placed another collect call home... and nobody answered.

Where are they, anyway? They didn’t really dump me off, did they? With that, the seed of my doubts grew into a shoot piercing the soil. Should I call the school to see if they’re trying to find me there? Well, I don’t know if they’re still there. I hope I didn’t leave them wondering what happened to me... if they didn’t dump me off, that is.

Shaking my head, I left the payphones to return to the girls’ department before I drew unwanted attention by standing there.

CHAPTER 16

Browsing skirts proved to be as much fun as flipping through dresses. They had one that I had seen on a girl at a restaurant. It was a black, calf-length skirt with a large floral pattern in shades of pale pink. Further searching rewarded me with a simple, knee-length denim skirt and a coral, layered skirt that looked to be about calf-length.

In the cubicle, I tried them all on. The floral skirt was my favorite and I almost wanted to wear it home. The denim skirt seemed like something every girl should own. I could wear it in comfort anywhere that didn’t require formal attire. It felt like the feminine equivalent of a pair of jeans. The coral, layered skirt belonged in a summery climate. I could see myself wearing it in the paradise of Hawaii or at a desert resort in Palm Springs. It was fun and girly. I was sure that Liz would call it “flirty.”

I think it probably needs a tank top and sandals, though! I’m pretty sure that my long-sleeved top is all wrong!

Giggling, I loved the way I felt in the clothes and I couldn’t help smiling at the girl in the mirror. With a sigh, I decided to call home again.

Third time’s the charm? I hope?

CHAPTER 17

As I headed for the escalators, hoping to talk to the girls, it bothered me that I didn’t have a house key.

I really hope they’ll be home. Otherwise, I can’t get in! I’d hate to have to sit on the porch, hoping that my neighbors don’t see me. Damn it! I’ve got to reach them.

As I approached the escalators, lost in thought, I saw a familiar head of curly, blond hair riding downward from above and nearing the 5th floor. The girl wore the same jeans and royal blue sweater that I’d seen at the school. It was Charlotte! She spotted me right away and smiled... but her smile was different this time. It was amused and amazed.

Uh oh. I don’t like that smile one bit. What is going on?

As she drew near, she looked me up and down, her eyes lingering on my pantyhose. “Hi Steph! What are you doing here?”

I told her about my stupid mistake with the bus.

“I don’t suppose you know where Dinah, Liz, and Samantha went?” I inquired. “I’ve tried calling home twice and I haven’t gotten an answer. My parents are away, celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary, so they’re not home, either.”

“Do you have a key?” She wondered.

“No, I don’t. That’s something else we messed up.” I admitted.

“Well, you’d better stick with me, then. I mean, I could lend you bus fare, but you probably shouldn’t ride the bus alone, even if you did have a key.” She warned.

Oh, she’s right. I didn’t think of that! Maybe I was right not to ask for bus fare at Customer Service. They would probably have told me off for taking that kind of a risk and then... what? I don’t even know! There’s nobody home for them to call!

Charlotte’s amused eyes strayed to my pantyhose. “Anyway, my mom is around here somewhere. We’re doing some early dress shopping for my aunt’s wedding next month, and some other things... although... I’m not sure how we can shop for dresses without giving you away,” she murmured, checking to see that she wasn’t overheard. “We can’t just make you stand outside the changing room and you are not coming in with us,” she giggled.

I couldn’t blame Charlotte for not wanting me in her changing room, but for the first time, because of her words, I felt as though I were shut out of being one of the girls. I hated that feeling.

Wait a minute! She’s worried about giving me away? Christ! She knows about me! I must have blown my cover! Damn it! I was so careful! How the hell did I give myself away?

“H-how did you know about me?” I stammered, crestfallen.

“I figured it out when you mentioned being Liz’s sister. I was in Emma’s room the last time Dinah had Liz and Samantha over. They were across the hall, in Dinah's room, and Liz was saying that she loves her little brother but sometimes she wishes she had a little sister. Then Dinah said that she was lucky she doesn’t have a little sister because they’re pests. Emma shouted that she wasn’t half as big a pest as Dinah and then she slammed her door.” Charlotte laughed. Then she leaned close. “You’re Liz’s brother, aren’t you?”

Too stunned to speak, I nodded.

All it took was to mention that Liz was my sister? Well, lesson learned. I will never forget that the information that I reveal can expose me. Maybe I should be glad that she didn’t figure it out from anything she saw. At least everyone else probably still thinks I’m a girl.

“Don’t worry. I didn’t say anything to Emma. I wouldn’t do that,” she promised, “and anyway I like boys like you! I have ever since I saw one of the neighbor boys dressed up as Alice in Wonderland for Halloween a couple of years ago! He wore tights, too! It was so cute!” She whispered with a giggle.

It irked me that she seemed to have a habit of reminding me that I’m not a girl. It was not helping me to get through my predicament!

Oh, brother! She is definitely not my first choice of savior, but if she can get me home then so be it. Of course, I’d better not mention that Samantha and I kind of have a thing starting. What if Charlotte tells me to drop dead and leaves me stranded? No, I’ll have to keep that to myself.

“Erm, I can tell you enjoyed that,” I blurted, returning my attention to her musing about Halloween.

“I loved it! It was so much fun!” Charlotte grinned, glancing at my nylons, making me sigh.

Ugh! She is making it impossible to see myself as a girl the way I was before she showed up. I was feeling so good about myself, even here, but Charlotte is making me feel like a boy in drag. She’s ruining it! Now I just want to go home! Maybe if I click my heels three times... oh wait; I left the ruby slippers at home. I wish a house would fall on me.

Just then, I spotted the woman who had complimented my dress at the payphones. She was riding the escalator down to the 5th floor, holding her slacks and smiling. The blouse that she had been holding was gone and I supposed that she had returned it at Customer Service. Stepping off, she strode toward us, and I realized that she was Charlotte’s mother!

“There you are! I’m sorry I took so long. I stopped by the ladies’ room after I called your father and then I had to wait in line at Customer Service to return that blouse. Who’s your friend?” She smiled.

“Hi. I’m Steph. I’m a friend of Emma’s and, well, now Charlotte’s.” I returned her smile. I hesitated to refer to myself as a friend of Charlotte’s but I had to get home somehow! Anyway, I hoped that she was a halfway decent person apart from this fetish of hers for cross-dressed boys. If she was then we could be friends.

“Mom, Steph accidentally took an express bus downtown because she thought her friends got on it and now she doesn’t have bus fare to get home. I told her to stick with me, but... that means we can’t really shop right now.” Charlotte informed her.

“Oh? Why not?” She wondered aloud, confused at the restriction.

Charlotte glanced at me, shrugged, and whispered in her mother’s ear.

“Oh, my stars!” Her mother glanced at me, her brows raised in surprise. “Erm, Steph, why...” she began, before catching herself, holding up one extended pointer finger. “I’ll tell you what. Would you care for a cup of hot cocoa up in the 7th floor cafe? They have a few secluded tables up there.”

“Oooh, yummy!” Charlotte effused, bobbing with excitement like an eight-year-old.

“Okay. Thank you,” I agreed. What else was I going to do?

With that, we turned for the escalators and I felt my anxiety ramp up, knowing that I was about to be grilled like the proverbial “shrimp on the barbie.”

CHAPTER 18

As we settled in a corner booth with steaming mugs of hot goodness, I struggled with my anguish over giving myself away.

Augh! Another royal fuckup! I’ve probably ruined everything! What if the girls won’t accept me as a sister now?

Taking a sip from her mug, taking care to wipe the whipped cream from her lip, Charlotte’s mother began the conversation. “Alright. Now that we have more privacy, Steph, may I ask why you’re dressed, erm, so nicely?” Charlotte’s mother probed.

Taking a breath, I explained my initiation and my hope for acceptance into the sisterhood of Samantha and friends.

“You know, Steph, now that you mention it, I was wondering why you had to be initiated into a group of girl friends,” Charlotte mentioned. “Now I know.”

“Mm hmm.” Charlotte’s mother gave her a gentle hand signal to let her talk. “Tell me, Steph. Why were you willing to dress up as a girl in public in order to be accepted into this group of girls?”

“Well, if I’m not willing to step into their shoes for a while, then why should they consider me a sister? Why would I deserve it?” I shrugged. It made perfect sense to me.

“I see. Why is their sisterhood, in particular, so important to you?” Came her next question. Then she elaborated, “I mean, uh... I notice that you seek sisterhood with girls rather than, say, brotherhood with boys. Is it a matter of slim pickings or is there something about their group in particular that appeals to you?”

How do I answer that?

“W-well, erm...” I began, searching for words. “It’s not just because I have no other options... even though that is true, because, erm... well, I get teased at school for being girly. This is my real hair, you know.”

That made Charlotte’s mother’s eyebrows jump up.

“Really? Well, it’s lovely,” she remarked. “Please, continue.”

“Thank you. Erm... it’s partly because I just want to be accepted, but it’s also because I’ve always been more comfortable with girls. I find that we do things the same way and we think alike.” I sighed. “I hate the way boys do things.” I fumbled, omitting the looks I’d been getting from boys today. “Everything has to have a score with them and they’re so rough. I’ve noticed that they don’t listen very well, either. I think they’re too busy planning what to say next.”

“Yeah! Tell me about it.” Charlotte rolled her eyes.

“Mmmm.” Charlotte’s mother repeated her signal to cease talking.

“Anyway, my sister is a member of this sisterhood, along with--” I glanced at Charlotte. “Erm, along with a good friend of mine. But I ruined it. I wasn’t going to give myself away because if I can’t keep my own stupid secret then I can hardly expect those girls to trust me with theirs. But I blew it.” I pouted, feeling tears coming on. I fought them back lest I ruin my pretty makeup. I did dab at one eye to prevent a leak.

“Well, I see that you’ve been resourceful about finding your way to a safe place and remaining there, not to mention using the payphone to call home. You’ve been wise and responsible. You care about the point of view of the girls in that sisterhood. You certainly show integrity. Don’t give up just yet.” Charlotte’s mother reassured.

“Okay.” That cheered me up some and I began to relax, though I still felt glum.

“Alright. Let me ask you something else, Steph. Do you have a key to your house?” She inquired.

“No, I don’t.” I sighed. “My sister handed me this purse on the way out the door. I guess I assumed that she put everything in it.” I supposed.

“Alright. I’ll tell you what,” Charlotte’s mother proposed. “Why don’t you call home from here one more time and see if your sister answers. If she does, then I’ll drive you home. If not, then you’ll come home with us. How does that sound?”

“That sounds good,” I tried to enthuse. Unbeknownst to Charlotte’s mother, Charlotte’s eyes returned to my pantyhose again and I sighed. The idea of spending time with Charlotte at her house had about as much appeal as jumping into a vat of acid. She made me feel like a buffet full of chocolate desserts. It was not wrong that she loved the idea of a boy dressed up as a girl, but that was exactly why I felt like a boy dressed up as a girl when I wanted to feel like a girl.

Oh well. I guess a drowning girl's got to grab the lifeline?

“Alright then. Let’s go see if you can get ahold of your sister.” Charlotte’s mother smiled. With that, we stood, paid the bill, and headed for the escalators.

CHAPTER 20

The payphones were available this time. Charlotte’s mother gave me a dime for the phone. There was still no answer. This time, however, it was a paid call that went through to the answering machine. Glancing at the wall clock behind the Customer Service desk, I left a message. “Hi, it’s me! It’s four o’clock and I’m at Macy*s in Union Square. I ran into Charlotte and we’re going straight to her house. I’ll call again when I get there. Bye.” With that, I hung up.

I had no idea where Charlotte lived, but Emma was Charlotte’s best friend. Dinah must know where her sister’s best friend lived. She would be able to estimate when I was expected there.

“Alright, shall we go?” Charlotte’s mother smiled.

“Let’s go,” I confirmed.

Charlotte linked elbows with me as we headed for the escalators.

Oh no. I like the girlish gesture, but... I think she likes me the way I really wish she didn’t. Something is happening between Samantha and I, I’m almost sure! I’ll have to find a way to tell Charlotte when we get to her house and hope I don’t break her heart. Even if I do, the sooner the better.

As we rode down the escalator, I wondered how I might accomplish that.

CHAPTER 21

We hurried across Geary Street, mid-block, straight toward the underground parking garage. The one-way traffic made the job somewhat easier. Sandwiched between the entering and exiting vehicle lanes was a pedestrian entrance that led to the cashier and the elevators.

This place is always creepy, but it’s never felt quite like this before. It’s not so bad having people with me, but I still say the place is a drive-in tomb!

Charlotte’s mother paid the fee and we rode the elevator down to the bottom floor, where she had parked.

Oh, God; it had to be the bottom floor, too! I sure would hate to be down here in a large earthquake!

Charlotte’s mother dug out her keys and we climbed into a burgundy Volvo 240 wagon. Minding my skirt, I slid over to the passenger side back seat to let Charlotte in. She got in and moved straight to my lap, giggling as she made my eyes fly wide open.

“Erm, Charlotte, you’d better put your seatbelt on!” I blurted.

Just then, her mother leaned over to the driver-side, rear door to hang up her slacks and saw what Charlotte was up to. “Charlotte, what on earth are you doing??” She stood with arms akimbo. “Please sit up and put your seatbelt on this instant!”

“Okay,” she snickered as she moved back to her seat. As soon as her mother hung up her slacks, closed the door, and moved for the driver's seat, Charlotte laid her head in my lap.

Oh, for the love of Chocolate!! Maybe she’s just immature and thinks she’s being cutesy? It seems like the stuff she’d probably do with her mom. Is it possible that she doesn’t know the difference?

Charlotte’s mother climbed into the driver seat and I decided to indirectly garner her attention.

“Charlotte, sit up!” I rolled my eyes.

Her mother turned around. “Charlotte Jane Wells! That is enough, young lady! I’m not going to move this car until you’ve got your seatbelt on.” Her mother ordered.

“Sorry, Mom. I’m ready.” Charlotte settled down, buckling her seat belt.

Her mother turned around to check. “Alright then. Let’s go home.”

“I’m sorry to throw a wrench in your plans,” I told her.

“That’s alright, dear. I did pick up my slacks and return that blouse, so I did get a couple of things done.” She responded.

As we drove up the ramp toward the exit, Charlotte couldn’t help herself. “Hey, Steph. How do you like wearing pantyhose?” She didn’t laugh but she did bear an impish smile.

Oh, Charlotte, I am so not in the mood for your bullshit! I don’t even know if I should tell you that I love them.

Sighing at Charlotte, her mother chimed in, “It’s really okay if you like them. You’re not alone, you know.”

“Yeah, Mom, I told him about Mark Post dressing up as Alice in Wonderland. He admitted that he liked wearing tights, too.” Charlotte giggled.

Why are you laughing at him? That doesn’t make me want to admit it. Not to you! I let out a sigh. Then again, this is one of those times when silence is as good as confession. I’ve already let that slip... although... maybe I’ll let my silence speak for me. That way I can deny, in truth, that I ever said it.

CHAPTER 22

Samantha clambered off the bus at 6th Avenue, followed by Liz and Dinah. The mood was subdued, filled with a strained hope that they would find a message on the machine.

“I really hope she called.” Samantha murmured.

“You and me both!” Liz agreed.

“Let’s just get there.” Dinah added.

As they walked, Samantha began to speak her thoughts.

“Hey Dinah... do you think Steph ran into any of Emma’s friends at the school?” She probed.

“I guess. Maybe. You know how it is at the lockers at the end of the day.” Dinah confirmed. “Now, that you mention it, Charlotte’s locker is right there next to hers.”

“You think Steph had to talk to Charlotte??” Samantha bristled. “Isn’t she the one who like boys dressed as girls?”

Dinah grimaced. “Oh yeah. She told us about that last time you were over at my place while we were still downstairs. It was before we went upstairs and got into that bickering match when I said Emma was a pest and she said she wasn’t half as big a pest as I am and then she slammed her door.”

Samantha and Liz busted out laughing.

“Emma has a mouth on her,” Samantha remarked. “And she would have been talking to Charlotte.” Suddenly, Samantha gasped. “Wait! Charlotte was there that time! She was listening to you saying that little sisters were a pest and Liz should be glad to have a brother instead... or something like that. Oh no.”

“Yikes.” Liz sympathized. “Charlotte knows,” she sulked. “For that matter, so does Emma. She heard all of that, too. I can’t believe we didn’t think of that.”

“Listen, the next time I talk to Emma I will tell her to keep her mouth shut and make sure she does, too. If she doesn’t, so help me God, I will drown her in a toilet. And her little friend, too.” Dinah threatened.

“And I’m going to help you.” Samantha seconded.

“Yeah, so will I,” Liz jumped on board.

* * * * *

A few minutes later, Liz unlocked her front door and her friends followed her inside. She beelined for the answering machine, followed closely by Samantha, and found two messages waiting.

BEEP

“Hi, kids! It’s your mother! I’m just checking in. Hope you’re alright. We’re having a great time. Love you! We’ll call back later on.”

BEEP

“Hi, it’s me! It’s four o’clock and I’m at Macy*s in Union Square. I ran into Charlotte and we’re going straight to her house. I’ll call again when I get there. Bye.”

A collective groan poured out of the girls.

“She sounds upset. I wonder what happened,” Samantha fretted.

“I don’t know. I only know that he’s stuck with Charlotte-the-Harlot.” Dinah groused.

“Harlot? Is she that bad?” Samantha worried, her eyes wide.

“No,” Dinah chuckled. “She’s just immature and doesn’t know how to behave around a boy she likes,” Dinah confessed. “She does the same kind of stuff she does with her mother because she hasn’t figured out the difference. It would be kind of cute if it didn’t come across so wrong!” She giggled, getting the others started. “At her age, it makes her look, well, easy.”

“Oh, yuck! Poor Steph!” Samantha facepalmed. “Well, I’m glad she’s safe. What time is it?” She asked her wristwatch. “It’s 4:10. Where does Charlotte live?”

“She lives right near us, just a couple of blocks up and a most of a block to the left,” Dinah replied.

“That’s good. She’ll be there in about ten minutes, then. That’s in our direction, too. In fact, that’s only about, what, a fifteen-minute walk? Maybe a bit more? We can walk that.” Samantha planned.

“Yeah. We’ll walk.” Liz agreed.

With that, they helped themselves to sodas from the refrigerator and sat around the kitchen table to chat.

“Ten minutes,” Samantha repeated, worried about Steph’s tone.

CHAPTER 23

Charlotte’s mother pulled her car into the driveway along the right-hand edge of their property. Their home was the classiest, brick shoebox that I had ever seen! The brick driveway was flat until we passed the front door, at which point it sloped downward and opened onto a turnaround with a three-car garage on the left.

Wow! What’s a girl like Charlotte doing in a nice place like this?

After we clambered up the kitchen stairs from the garage, Charlotte got us a couple of Ginger Ales. Then we sat at the kitchen table while her mother answered the phone.

Oh! That reminds me to call home again. As soon as she’s off the phone I will.

Suspecting that it might prove useful to learn more about Charlotte’s little fetish, I decided to ask her some probing questions.

“Hey, Charlotte, did Mark really like being dressed up as a girl?” I began.

“Yep. He did!” She giggled. “He liked all of it, including the tights, but it was just a costume to him. He didn’t like it the way I think you do. Just between you and me, he has three sisters and they dress him up sometimes. I don’t think he’s wild about it, unless it’s Halloween and it doesn’t matter. Anyway, whenever I’m over there, I love to help his sisters dress him up – but Mark is already starting to turn into a man, so he doesn’t look nearly as good as you do! His behavior is boyish, too. He could never get away with what you did today, not in a thousand years.”

Huh. I wonder what that means?

Charlotte continued as though I had invited her to. “Anyway, there’s just something special about a boy dressed up pretty like a girl. Especially when you can’t tell he’s really a boy, like you, Stephanie!”

I wish she’d stop saying I’m a boy! I don’t want to be reminded! Maybe another question will shut her up. What else can I learn?

“Have you ever known any other boys who dressed up as girls?” I tried.

“Well... there was one kid, Edward Cullen.” Her face took on a dreamy look. “Last year, in 5th grade, he dressed up as a regular girl for Halloween. He looked convincing, too, and he wore a dress complete with tights just like you. It was funny because people thought he was a girl who didn’t dress up for Halloween,” she giggled.

Just then, her mother joined at the table.

“Steph, did you want to call home again to see if the girls are back?” She checked.

“Yes! I need to do that.” I jumped up and headed for the phone she had been using.

Please be there this time, damn you!

“Hello?” Liz answered.

Finally! Thank God!

“Hi, Sis! It’s me! I’m at Charlotte’s now.” I greeted.

“Steph!” Liz gushed. “I’m so sorry we got separated. That was not our plan. I swear to God! Dinah needed to know that you would really do everything we discussed and not just hide in the bathroom,” she explained.

In the background, Dinah shouted, “Sorry you got stuck with Charlotte!” I could hear her giggle.

“Erm, yeah. Thanks a lot. Can you pick me up now?” I smirked.

“Yeah. We’re coming, but I can’t drive Mom’s car without another licensed driver yet, and we’re out of bus fare, so we’re walking over there. We’ll be there in fifteen minutes, okay?” She replied.

“Okay. See you then!” With that, I hung up.

Sighing, I returned to the table, at which point Charlotte’s eyes took their earliest opportunity to steal another glance at my nylons.

She really does love pantyhose on a boy, doesn’t she? God, she’s getting tiring!

“Steph, tell me something,” Her mother asked, leaning back in her chair with a steaming cup of tea. “What have you thought of your experiences today, as a girl?”

It’s against my better judgement to discuss this in front of Charlotte... although... maybe the more I talk about it the more I’ll sound less like a normal boy and the more it will turn her off!

“W-well... erm... I’ve enjoyed being a girl. I seem to get a lot more respect from most people.” I glanced at Charlotte, whose face displayed a smile of blithe oblivion to my innuendo about her behavior. “I feel like I stepped outside of being a boy for awhile, and I like that, too. I even had fun shopping in the girls’ department.”

I described the dresses and skirts I had tried on and mentioned how I had mentally chosen a shade of hosiery for one dress as well as visualized a skirt with sandals and a tank top.

“I have to admit, though. I feel less safe out there as a girl. I walked past the Sutter-Stockton garage but I didn’t want to go in because parking lots are dangerous for a girl. Especially the Union Square garage because it’s underground and it has those loud fans that would make it hard to hear you scream! That place really gave me the creeps today.” I tittered.

“Well, it is all too true that a girl has to be more mindful of her safety than a boy in this world. In fact, now that you bring it up, Stephanie, you made some very wise choices today,” Charlotte’s mother complimented.

“Hey, Steph, why’d you grow your hair so long?” Charlotte wondered. “Did you grow it that long to look like a girl?”

“That’s an interesting question,” her mother agreed.

“Well, when I started growing it, I just wanted to see what it was like. Once it got past my chin, I didn’t want to cut it anymore.” I pondered it further. “I mean, I didn’t think I was growing it out to look like a girl, but it really did look girly, especially once it grew past my shoulders, and after today, well... maybe I did grow it to look like a girl.”

Just then, the phone rang, saving me from further questioning. Charlotte’s mother rose to answer it and returned seconds later.

“Charlotte, it’s Emma,” she announced.

“Oh, thanks!” Charlotte jumped up and scampered to the phone, returning before her mother could ask another question.

“I told Emma she could come over. I hope it’s okay,” Charlotte informed her mother.

“Sure. Why not?” Her mother approved. “I want to talk to you both when she gets here, anyway.”

“You do?” Charlotte looked nervous.

“Yes. We’ll discuss it then, you little devil,” her mother joked.

Looking back at me, Charlotte snickered, “She calls me that when I drive her crazy.”

“Yes, and your sister isn’t helping, either. You mentioned that she got this started, Steph?” Charlotte’s mother verified.

“Well, the initiation was her idea,” I confirmed, “but dressing as a girl was more of a hive mind idea.” I explained how the girls had all planned to dress me up, even before I blew my secret about my long hair, which only made them all the more eager to make me over in exchange for honorary sisterhood, the makeover soon snowballing into dressing me up and initiating me for full sisterhood.

“I see,” Charlotte’s mother paused to ponder her next question. “Dinah didn’t have anything to do with you ending up downtown, did she?”

“No. I mean, they should have had someone wait outside for me, but that was mostly my fault. I thought they got on that bus to dump me off, but after I was on the bus and it left the curb, I saw that the whole point of the initiation was to make sure that I deserved to be part of their sisterhood. It wouldn’t really mean anything if they didn’t follow me inside to make sure that I did what I said I would. Anyway, the bus I got on was an express bus headed downtown, so I should have known right away they wouldn’t get on it.” I shrugged.

Just then, the doorbell rang and I knew Emma had arrived.

CHAPTER 24

Charlotte grabbed my hand as she stood up and dragged me out to the front door, which she threw open with a smile. “Hi, Emma! Look who’s here!”

“Hi, Steph! What brings you here?” Emma asked with a bright smile. While Charlotte closed the door, I explained it all again.

“I knew it! When you mentioned being Liz’s sister, you gave yourself away.” Emma giggled.

“Yeah, I know.” I lamented. “I should have said I was her cousin.”

“Hello, Emma,” Charlotte’s mother greeted, stepping into the front hall. “I would like to talk to you two girls for a moment.” With that, she gestured toward the living room.

Exchanging glances, we filed in and seated ourselves, the girls on the sofa and Charlotte’s mother facing us from a wing chair. Charlotte reached up and twirled my hair around her finger.

“Charlotte! Cut that out!” I growled, removing her hand from my locks before she messed up my hair.

“Charlotte Jane Wells, that really is enough. I’m not going to tell you again,” her mother declared.

“Sorry,” she tittered.

No you’re not!

“Alright. Look.” She faced the other two girls. “I know that you two have figured out who Stephanie is,” she began, making them giggle. “What I wanted to say is that you two are not to share that information with a soul, do I make myself clear?”

“Yeah, Mom,” Charlotte chirped.

“Yes, Mrs. Wells,” Emma agreed.

“Good. Why don’t you—” Charlotte’s mother began, before being interrupted by the doorbell. “Oh, that must be the other girls!”

She stood to answer the door and we followed her to the front hall. Sure enough, there they stood.

CHAPTER 25

Without a word, Samantha beelined toward me and threw her arms around me. She bear hugged me and surprised everyone by planting a long, deep kiss square on my lips, melting me into her arms with a sigh. When it ended, I glanced at Charlotte, who looked dismayed. It would not be necessary to tell her about Samantha and I after that glorious kiss!

“I am so sorry, Steph! We went inside so that Dinah would know that you didn’t hide in the bathroom instead of talking to Charlotte. I knew you wouldn’t do that, but it was an initiation, after all, and Dinah is right about the trust in our circle, so I went along with it. I just can’t believe I didn’t wait for you outside, Steph! It’s our fault. We didn’t all have to go inside!” Samantha apologized. “You must have thought that we dumped you off.”

“The thought had crossed my mind,” I admitted.

Samantha glared at Dinah. “God damn it, Dinah! I told you not to scare her with that kind of talk!”

“And I told you that I was only trying to say that we wouldn’t dump her off!” Dinah defended.

Emma facepalmed. “Let me guess, Steph. The thought didn’t cross your mind the first time until Dinah’s little reassurance, right?” She surmised.

“Right,” I smirked.

“Oh, my God!” She glowered at Dinah. “And I’m the pest? Yeah, right!” Emma turned back to me. “This is why I can’t stand her!” she gibed.

Charlotte giggled at both sisters.

“Anyway, I know you guys weren’t trying to dump me off, but...” I looked around at them before returning my gaze to Samantha, my emotions welling up, anticipating their rejection. “I blew it,” I confessed in a subdued tone. “They know. Emma and Charlotte both figured it out because I mentioned that Liz is my sister and they’ve both heard her say that she doesn’t have one. I wasn’t gonna let anyone know because if I can’t keep my own secrets then how can you trust me to keep yours? I’m sorry I let you down, Samantha.”

“Aw, sweetie, you didn’t let me down. You did me proud!” Samantha smiled. “You did everything right. You went somewhere safe, you called home, you called again when you got here, and you didn’t walk home through dangerous neighborhoods. By the way, we were not expecting you to go undetected downtown all day – although it sounds like you did, really – and we never made you promise not to reveal yourself. The deal was only to go to Emma’s school and deliver that message. You did that very well. Maybe we shouldn’t have had you talk to Emma because she knew that Liz only has a brother. No offense, Emma,” Samantha apologized.

“None taken,” Emma smiled. “Actually, I was probably the safest choice because I don’t care.”

“And Steph, I really do trust you with my secrets. You have to remember that you didn’t tell anyone about you. They just figured it out. That’s not on you. None of us could have done anything about that,” Samantha reassured. Liz and Dinah nodded their agreement.

I smiled, knowing that I still had a chance to be a full sister. Although, as much as I wanted their sisterhood, I was most concerned about losing Samantha. We were just getting something romantic started and I wanted it to last.

“Liz, speaking of Emma and Charlotte knowing about Steph, I wanted to mention that I have forbidden them from ever telling anyone what they know about Steph because I will deal with them severely if they do,” she eyed them, “and by severely, I mean that you shall require a coroner.”

“Right, because if you do, I promise I’ll shove your heads in the toilet and drown you one by one. And Samantha and Liz will help me. Got that, squirts?” Dinah smirked.

“Damn right I’ll help her!” Samantha stared at them.

“So will I!” Liz agreed.

“We already promised not to!” Emma complained, rolling her eyes at Dinah’s fresh annoyance.

“Good,” Dinah nodded.

Naturally, I was touched by the fierce protection of my new sisters, especially Samantha’s... not to mention that Samantha had yet to let go of me since she arrived. Samantha’s company filled me with joy. She kept her eyes on mine while conversing, unlike Charlotte, who allowed hers to wander like unleashed puppies. Samantha had built trust with me before she put her arms around me and kissed me, whereas Charlotte seemed to have all of the self-control of a five-year-old.

“Now that that’s settled, please, let’s sit down in the living room,” Mrs. Wells requested.

Exchanging glances and shrugging, Samantha and friends followed her in, along with Charlotte and Emma.

* * * * *

As we seated ourselves, Samantha’s hand found its way into mine. Meanwhile, Charlotte’s mother urged me to share our discussion about what I had thought about my experiences as girl. I took a breath and repeated what I had said. As I opened up, revealing all of my thoughts, reactions, and strategies concerning everything from the bus driver’s refusal to let the old man off of the bus to my arrival at the Wells residence, I noticed my new sisters exchanging concerned glances... except for Samantha. Her face had a knowing expression on it. She wasn’t surprised.

“I’m proud of you, Steph,” she whispered, kissing me again.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the downcast look on Charlotte’s face. She really was jealous.

Someone’s got to have a talk with that girl.

Just then, Charlotte’s mother revealed, “Steph, I’m not sure if you knew, but I am a licensed social worker. I’m going to refer you to a specialist to help you sort out your gender identity, alright?”

“My gender identity?” I murmured.

“Yes, Steph. You seem to be more comfortable as a girl than as a boy,” she clarified. “You need to talk to someone about it who can help you understand why that is.”

Samantha nodded. I knew that she agreed that I was more comfortable as a girl and that I should talk to someone. “Okay,” I consented.

“Is there anything else that you would like to add, Steph?” Charlotte’s mother probed.

“Well... not about me, but... I would like us to talk about Charlotte for a minute... y-you know, while it’s just us girls.” I began.

Charlotte’s mother nodded, now a bit apprehensive.

“Charlotte... I don’t want to hurt you or embarrass you but... you really need to hear this before you get into trouble out there.” I glanced out the window. Charlotte looked as though she expected her mother to punish her. “There is nothing wrong with having a thing for boys who dress up as girls, and I don’t doubt that it’s a lot of fun... but the way you behaved today was off-putting and... even dangerous for you.”

“What do you mean?” she murmured, her tone conveying that she knew what I meant.

“I know you were interested,” I continued, “but the way you came across... I mean, I’m sorry, but I don’t think there is a gentle way to say this.” I paused. “You came across as... really shallow. You... you never looked me in the eyes when you talked to me because you were too busy looking at my pantyhose. The dangerous part is that you were way too flirty. To be honest, I think you were only doing some of the same stuff that you probably do with your mom, but... if you do that stuff out there with a boy you don’t know, you could get yourself into serious trouble, especially an older boy.”

“Oh, Charlotte,” her mother lamented.

“She’s right, Charlotte, you need to get better about that.” Emma rubbed her back. “A lot of guys take that stuff as a come-on. Some boys even think I like ‘em because I smile at them, like, just one time.” Emma rolled her eyes. “I don’t know, maybe they see what they’re hoping to see or something, but it’s true.”

“Charlotte, you need to build trust and respect first and express attraction after that. Then it comes across like a special gift,” I smiled at Samantha, squeezing her hand, “and it feels amazing.” Reluctant to stop gazing at my new girlfriend, I turned back to Charlotte. “You just went straight for what excited you and if you were looking to bond with me, well, I couldn’t tell at all. You let your eyes roam all over me like I’m a chocolate cake. Your signals were saying that you were ready and willing, especially when you climbed onto my lap in the car and when put your head in my lap.”

Charlotte at least had the decency to look horrified and insulted. “I wasn’t going to do anything like that! I was only having some fun!”

“We know that, but a lot of boys out there have a different definition of fun. It’s probably a good thing that you do prefer boys who dress as girls. They tend to be safer because of their... feminine side, if that’s what you call it, but other boys will think that you want to start necking, if not more.”

Charlotte wept as she confronted her ways.

“Oh, Charlotte, sweetheart!” Her mother rose and strode toward her. Dinah stood to vacate her seat next to Charlotte, which Charlotte’s mother readily occupied. Dinah then sat in the wing chair. “Stephanie has raised a very important point, and I’m glad for that. Honey, I’m not sure that you’re ready for what you’re inviting or even aware of it. You are a truly beautiful child and I worry that you don’t yet realize how quickly and aggressively some boys can respond to the simplest gesture. Emma’s right that even if you smile at them they can take it as a sign of interest.” She looked at me. “Stephanie is right that this was a good time to talk about this. I know that you’re feeling hurt but she never intended to hurt you. She wants you to be safe like a true friend does.“

“That’s right,” I confirmed. “Alright, I think we made our point. Everyone gather around.” With that, I gave her the hug that only a female friend can, and everyone else followed my lead.

“I’m glad that we had this talk now so that you know that you have a lot of girls on your side,” Charlotte’s mother smiled at her and Charlotte grinned in return.

“Yeah, you’re right.” she admitted.

“Come on, hon. Let’s go upstairs and get you cleaned up,” her mother stood and waited for Charlotte to follow her upstairs.

Emma jumped up to her feet, announcing, “I’ll just go upstairs and help her.”

That left me in the living room with Samantha, Liz, and Dinah. Samantha still held my hand.

* * * * *

“Steph, I need to tell you something,” Dinah began, using my feminine name for the first time. “I should have known that Emma would chat with Charlotte at the lockers because their lockers are right next to each other. I should have known they would figure you out.”

“Dinah, please tell me that you didn’t choose Emma for Steph to talk to for that reason.” Samantha probed with menace.

“Of course not! I just didn’t think of it.” Dinah defended.

“You were just being impulsive again, huh?” Liz mediated.

“Yeah,” Dinah hung her head.

“And did you know that Charlotte’s neighbor, Mark Post, dressed up like Alice in Wonderland for Halloween a couple of years ago?” I interrogated, making Samantha glare at Dinah.

Dinah stared into space with her eyes wide, her mouth gaping until she covered it with her hands. “Oh shit! I forgot all about that!”

Somehow, I think Dinah should be Charlotte’s sister instead of Emma’s! They’re both impulsive!

“Well, unfortunately, Dinah, this initiation was really important to Steph and having Charlotte around really degraded it.” Samantha groused.

“You’re right,” she sighed. “I’m sorry, Steph.” Dinah then lowered her voice. “It must have sucked being around her.”

“It really did.” I spoke sotto voce. “I felt like a real girl at first because everyone thought I was one. I was relaxed and comfortable. I even felt normal. Then Charlotte arrived at Macy*s with a stupid grin on her face and her behavior kept reminding me that I’m not a girl. She spoiled the illusion and made me feel really self-conscious in public. Plus, she made me feel like a chocolate truffle that she wanted to wolf down.”

“Well, she’s just immature and doesn’t know what she’s doing,” Dinah thought aloud, “but you have to admit, even though that sucked, the experience was a good test of who you really are and you passed with flying colors!” She smiled.

With that, Samantha beamed at me. “Yeah! I think I can speak for all of us when I say that you’re in. You’re our sister now.” She hugged me and kissed me.

I love it when she kisses me! I hope she never stops!

The other girls threw their arms around me and made it a group hug.

Acceptance at last! I did it! Now I did have to fight not to cry and destroy my beautiful makeup.

“Come talk to me!” Samantha rose and led me to the nearest bathroom.

* * * * *

Samantha took me in her arms and smiled at me.

“I’m so proud of you, Steph,” she praised. “I’m impressed with how you kept your wits and how you handled yourself. I’m impressed with how you handled Charlotte in every way, including giving her the verbal kick in the butt that she needed, proving that you’re more mature than she is. Actually, you’re more mature than Dinah, too, but please don’t ever tell her I said that!” We shared a chuckle.

“I won’t. I promise.” I smiled.

Then Samantha became nervous. “You know, Steph, she glanced down. “I like you a lot. I always have. I want to start dating you. You’re obviously special and I want to take you off of the market before anyone else discovers you.”

I beamed like the sun at that. “I have always felt the same way about you and I want to date you, too.”

Samantha removed a simple, silver band from her ring finger and offered it to me. With joy, I accepted it and put it on my own ring finger. We kissed for what seemed like ages and when we finally stopped, I had a question in my head.

“Samantha, when you look at me... do you... do you see a girl? Even when I’m Stevie?” I wondered.

She nodded with a smile. "You know, Steph, I think it takes a girl to walk around downtown as long as you did without being detected."

"I think you're right," I smiled.

"So how about you? Do you see a girl in the mirror?" Samantha probed.

“Yes,” I admitted. “When I looked at my reflection in the mirror while I was trying on dresses and skirts... I saw a girl looking back at me. I don’t think I see Stevie anymore. I think he’s gone.”

Samantha kissed me again, “Steph is the one I love, you know.”

“And you’re the one I love,” I kissed her back.

EPILOGUE

Standing before the mirror on the back of the bathroom door, I saw my true self looking back at me. She wore an old nightie of Liz’s. Her hair was in “sleep braids” for the first time. She had applied tinted lip balm. She was happy. Smiling at myself, I turned and headed for my room to get in bed. As I lay there, staring at the ceiling, I basked in the joy of having Samantha for a girlfriend. My mind drifted to the thrill of being a full sister to Liz, Dinah, and Samantha, but it scared me. I knew that I was a girl on the inside and that was why Charlotte’s mother had given me the name of a specialist to talk to.

Just then, Liz came in.

“Hey, Steph. I just wanted to say congratulations on joining our sisterhood – and for hooking up with Samantha! She just told me over the phone! I'm happy for you two!” Liz smiled.

“Thanks, sis. What are we going to tell Mom and Dad about me?” I fretted.

“We’ll tell them the truth... little sis.”

The End

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Stephanie	592.79 KB

The Presence of Other

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

Mature Subjects (pg15)

Contests:

Based-on-a-Song Challenge

Publication:

7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

Other Keywords:

Telling the family

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

The Presence Of Other
By MonaLisa

Lily knew that her backdoor was the entrance to a completely different life — or at least it would be the moment she stepped through it. The only problem was that she didn’t know whether the difference would be wonderful or disastrous. All she knew was that something had to give. She had been keeping a secret from her family and she was literally wasting away inside.

THE PRESENCE OF OTHER

A strong wind rustled the rosebushes and cherry-blossom trees in the yard, seeming to bring to life the disturbance within Lily. She had removed her feminine ponytail, but the wind blew her wavy, dark blonde hair into her face and she had to put it back in the ponytail she’d worn throughout the day.

She’d stood in the backyard many times, after returning from school as Billy, working to get her emotions back under control before her family noticed anything was wrong. The bullying she received at school stemmed from her naturally feminine build and features and she feared that talking to her family about it was a surefire way of getting herself dragged kicking and screaming out of the closet.

Now, she knew all of that had to change. She could no longer live her life the way it was. Telling her family would be hard, but it couldn’t be harder than taking her own life. She couldn’t stand out there one more time, fretting about her life crashing to the ground around her. Something had to change - before it was something tragic. This time was going to be different.

This time, it’s different
Be sure, I mean it

Lily was sick of pretending to be someone who never existed, pretending to like things she hated, and pretending to hold ideals that she loathed. Everyone that knew her thought she loved to play soccer and thought she liked the boys’ raunchy jokes and believed in the stiff upper lip.

There were so many things that were all part of Billy-the-wonder-phony. Billy was bullshit. Billy never existed. It was Lily who had emerged from her mother’s womb on Billy’s birthday, not Billy.

The disquiet in Lily’s life had to end. Lily wanted to feel peace in her life and a sense of place, just as she had with Merri throughout that day. She knew that she could and should be feeling that rightness and freedom every day - but she would have neither as long as she continued to hide the truth.

Can’t go on trading on ideas that I just don’t own
A life with some meaning, a life with some sense

Lily slowly rubbed her shoulders, lost in thought as she imagined the reaction of her family. God, they’ll probably hate me. They’ll probably worry about the embarrassment that will come to them if anyone else finds out about me. Lily was terrified of how they might react.

Her father and brother weren’t as bad as some men out there, but they were still quite masculine. They would balk at the notion that Billy should have been Lily — was Lily. Her father would send her to military school. That was what made a man out of her father and it was about to make a man out of her brother. He had just been accepted to West Point, where their father had attended. When she told her family about her, she would probably be shipped there as well in hopes that it would “fix” her.

Lily’s sister, Clair, would probably laugh at her and tell all of her friends. Since the three of them attended the same high school, the news would be everywhere. The two of them had always gotten along and were even pretty close, but this kind of juicy gossip might prove irresistible to Lily’s fourteen-year-old sister — or her friends.

As for her mother, well, she married the military type and was proud of her son heading off to West Point in the fall. She had asked Billy many times why he couldn’t be more like his brother — and warned him with equal frequency not to behave too much like Clair. It was her mother who put a stop to Billy playing Barbies with Clair; it was she who had ended Clair’s makeovers on Billy.

Ultimately, that was what had given birth to Lily’s fears of discovery. Her mother had made it clear that Billy couldn’t act like the girls or have anything in common with them. It would only be acceptable for him to be one of the boys and share their values. That was what her father and her brother did. Why couldn’t Billy be more like them?

* * *

He had tried, his life becoming more miserable the longer he kept it up, until he screwed up the courage to go to a second-hand store and buy a skirt and top. The bra, panties and tights had actually been easier. He’d simply ordered them online at the same time as a new baseball mitt and made sure they’d be shipped in one box.

Missing only shoes from the outfit, he’d located a shoe store with consistent sizing in its products. The store kept its wares on shelves in the front room arranged by size for the customers to browse through. He’d found the courage to walk in, wait until the coast was clear, and quickly try on one pair of girl’s loafers, moccasins or flats, anything he could try quickly. It had taken three visits to find the right size. Once he had the size right, he ordered a pair of black, leather flats online — along with the baseball cleats he needed for school, again arranging for both to be delivered in one shipment.

* * *

Lily felt terrified that her family would reject her, but she was commensurately frustrated about her fears. She had just turned eighteen, after all. Why do I feel so afraid of my own family? Why do I feel like I have to hide? I shouldn’t have to hide. I hide because I’m afraid of them. Why does my family have to have such a strong military influence in it? Maybe I wouldn’t be so afraid if not for that. Maybe I wouldn’t have to live in fear of Mom finding my stash or of any of them figuring me out. It’s this stupid military streak, I just know it! Lily wiped away a tear from one eye, hoping she wouldn’t smear her mascara.

I want, to blame you
Give you, my power

God, maybe this isn’t such a good idea, Lily worried. I just don’t know.
She sat down on the steps outside the back door, inhaling the sweet fragrance of the cherry blossom trees as she thought about what brought her to her impending moment of truth.

* * *

One look at his best friend was all it had taken. Billy couldn’t take his eyes off of Merri’s outfit as she walked out of her classroom. The hallway was lined with lockers the color of yellowing paper and echoes of students chattering in the industrial fluorescent light, but in all of that, Merri was all that Billy could see. She wore a peach t-shirt, a mint green sweater that tied around the waist, light denim skirt, lightweight, semi-opaque pale-gray tights and off-black leather ballet flats. Her reddish-tinted auburn hair was done in a cute, feminine ponytail with curly tresses framing her face, nicely complementing her pale blue eyes. She was the epitome of feminine beauty and grace, the essence of everything Billy wanted to be.

Her appearance had always made Billy jealous, and finally, Billy could tolerate no more. It ate at him to see her so free to be a girl while he smothered himself to the brink of death trying to be a boy. Tears began to run down his face and he ran for the restroom. He dashed through the door, past a blur of lime-green tiles, and darted into a large, wheelchair-friendly stall, where he locked the door and cried.

I keep it all on the inside, keep it locked in the dark
I keep it all on the inside, keep it locked in the dark

Billy was overwhelmed with envy and frustration — and he was having terrible trouble keeping it under control.

Merri had clearly noticed something in Billy because she had recently asked him if he was angry at her or if there was something she’d done. He fervently denied it, unable to tell her what was really going on, but she could read his face like a billboard. Stymied by his lack of communication, she believed he was angry with her. Their relationship became very strained as a result and Billy felt terribly guilty about it.

As he sniffled, blowing his nose and wiping his tears, he heard a couple of girls walk into the room, chatting and giggling. What the hell are they doing in here? Billy sat rigidly upright. Oh my God! Am I in the girls’ bathroom? Not knowing what else to do, he moved silently to a spot in front of the toilet, facing away from it, waiting for something to happen and praying that nothing would.

Suddenly, a third girl blustered into the restroom.

“Hey, Merri! What’s the matter?”

“Oh, it’s Billy. I don’t know what’s going on with him but he always acts funny around me and he won’t tell me why. Just now, he took one look at me and ran away. I think he hates me and I don’t even know what I did that was so wrong.”

Merri sniffled.

Aww, she’s crying! Billy’s heart ached deeply at the knowledge of Merri’s pain.

“Well, honey… Billy is a weirdo, you know that.”

“No he’s not, Sarah! He’s just…”

“Weird?”

“Shut up, Trish! He’s not weird! He’s just sensitive, that’s all! God, don’t be like that!”

“Sor-ry! Geez, you act like you have feelings for him or something!”

“I do not! I just care about my friends, that’s all!”

“Whatever. Well, I hope he tells you… why he is the way he is.”

That got two of the girls laughing, but Merri was not amused. Billy silently thanked her for not laughing at him.

“Yeah, good luck with that. Oops, I mean him.” Sarah joked, breaking into a giggle.

“Hey!! There’s no need to be a bitch!!” Merri spat.

“Jeez, Merri, retract your claws, okay? I was only kidding!” Sarah retorted.

“Yeah, go snort some catnip!”

“Hey, I am sorry, but I won’t listen to you talk about Billy that way! He’s a human being — no matter what his problem is!” Merri finished with a mutter.

“Why do you like him so much anyway?”

Dead silence.

“I don’t know, okay? I can’t put my finger on it. He’s nice and he always understands how I feel and… I just like him, okay?”

“Whatever. Well, we better get to class. Are you coming?”

“Not yet. I need a minute.”

“Okay, hon. See you in class.”

“Yeah. See you.”

They left, and Merri stood at the sink. Billy heard her sniffle again and felt terrible knowing that his behavior of late had really hurt her. Of course it had! He was acting all jealous around her and not telling her what was going on. She must feel awful, the poor girl. With fresh tears leaking from his own face, Billy opened the stall door and approached Merri. For a moment, he couldn’t speak and he stood there staring at her.

“Merri, I’m so sorry.”

She whirled around and stared at Billy.

“Billy? What are you doing in here?” Merri tensed. “Did you hear that whole conversation?”

“Yes, I did.” Billy looked at his feet. “When I ran away from you I ran in here. I-I thought it was the men’s room.”

“Oh.” Merri seemed satisfied with his reason for being in the girls’ bathroom but she needed to understand Billy’s recent behavior — and Billy knew it.

“Merri, you have never done anything wrong. I am not angry with you and I could never hate you.”

“Then why-?”

“I’m jealous of you.”

“You’re jealous of me? Why? What do you mean?” Merri was completely mystified.

“I’m jealous of you because… because you’re a girl and you always look so pretty. I-I… I’m a girl, too, but I have to pretend to be a boy. Everything about me is fake! You’re so free to be a girl and I have to hide in a dark, stuffy, lonely closet! It’s not fair! I would give anything to be free and look pretty every day like you do!” Billy began to cry again. Merri stood there staring at him in silence as he rambled on. “Merri, I should have known how my behavior was making you feel. I-I should have talked to you a long time ago. You needed me to communicate and I didn’t. I clammed up.”

“Wow, I have to admit, a boy would never say something like that. You really must be a girl.”

“I am a girl! I really am! I don’t know how this happened to me, but I’m a girl in here!!”

Merri embraced Billy before releasing him and looking into his eyes.

“We should talk more, but we have to get to class. Let’s fix ourselves up before someone else comes in here, huh?”

“Yeah. Good idea.”

They grabbed some toilet paper and dried their faces.

“You know, I always knew you were different and I knew that something was making you upset all the time but you always denied anything was wrong and I never knew what to think. I thought maybe you didn’t like me for some reason.”

“I do like you.” More than you know. “It was never like that. Oh, Merri, I have always liked you.”

Billy apologized again and she forgave him.

“Well, come on, we should probably leave before someone else comes in here.” They hugged again and headed for class.

* * *

After school, as they walked home together, an idea took root in Merri’s mind.

“Hey Billy?”

“Yeah?” He smiled at her.

“Would you like me to dress you up as a girl? I would be more than willing to help you.”

“I would love that. I have one outfit that I’ve been wearing whenever I can, but I would love some help.”

“Okay then! Is there a girl’s name you like to use?”

“Yes.” He blushed. “I call myself Lily.”

“I love that name!”

“Thank you,” Billy smiled brightly.

“Here’s what we’ll do. On Friday night, my parents are going out for their date night at eight. You can stash Lily’s clothes in my garage and hang out with me until they leave. Then you can bring Lily’s clothes into the house and change.”

“I would love to do that! Lily could really use a friend.”

“Then it’s settled.” Merri and Lily exchanged a satisfied smile.

* * *

That Friday night, he carefully shaved so that his face could at least feel feminine, since he had no makeup. He packed Lily’s outfit in his backpack and walked over to Merri’s garage, making his way down the length of the shadowy, brick-paved driveway.

He crept into the garage through the side door that Merri had left open for him and put his backpack down behind a stack of firewood and looked at it for a few moments, eager to transform back into Lily.

With a longing sigh, he left the backpack there and headed for Merri’s front door, feeling like he had merely moved Lily’s clothes from one hiding place to another.

I keep it all on the inside, keep it locked in the dark
I keep it all on the inside, keep it locked in the dark

Standing in front of Merri’s brick Edwardian home, he rang the bell. Seconds later, Merri greeted him, invited him in, closed the door and led him up to her room. It was decorated in pastel shades of teal and peach, with matching bed sheets and throw rug. Billy loved that room far more than his own, which felt to Lily like a crazy combination of a boy’s clubhouse and a holding cell. Merri’s room seemed to accept him and embrace him while his own merely mocked him.

Billy loved spending time with Merri, but it seemed an eternity until Lily’s parents left for their date, allowing Billy to eagerly creep out to the garage and get Lily’s things. While he was there, he decided to surprise Merri. He changed in the garage, donning the pink, cotton scoop neck t-shirt and denim skirt with his black leather ballet flats.

Lily stuffed Billy’s clothes into the backpack, replaced it behind the firewood, and walked back into Merri’s house. Merri was on her way down the stairs as a pretty girl came in the front door and closed it behind her, leaning against it with a wry smile on her face.

“Lily? Is that you?” Merri smiled warmly.

“Yeah, Merri, it’s me. What do you think?” She asked nervously, twirling for Merri.

“You look cute! I love your outfit!” Merri gushed. “Can I put makeup on you and do your hair?”

“I would love that!” She jumped at the chance and they headed happily for Merri’s room.

She sprayed Lily’s hair with water and ran it through her curling iron, creating a wonderfully feminine look. She added some foundation, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow and lipstick. She clipped a pair of silver hoop earrings onto Lily’s ears and slipped a promise ring onto her right ring finger. Standing back, she pronounced Lily done.

“How do I look?”

“You look wonderful!”

Merri brought Lily over to the mirror and showed her what she’d done. Lily’s heart almost stopped beating when she saw herself.

I keep it all on the inside, keep it locked in the dark
I keep it all on the inside, keep it locked in the dark

Lily thanked Merri and threw her arms around her. Merri hugged her tightly in response and the hug lingered for several minutes.

“You know, Lily, we have to go shopping tomorrow. I want to help you find another skirt or two and a couple of tops, maybe another pair of shoes, just enough to give you some help.”

Lily looked back in the mirror and saw a normal girl smiling back at her.

“Okay, but nowhere we’re likely to run into anyone we know.”

“Agreed.”

* * *

The next morning, Lily was to meet Merri at her house. Lily had enjoyed surprising Merri by walking into the house as a girl and she had also relished the short walk outside as her true self. She decided to do it again just for kicks.

She arrived at Merri’s garage dressed as Billy, crept into Merri’s garage, made the change into Lily, stashed the backpack and walked up to Merri’s front door. The front door opened and Lily smiled brightly.

“Lily! I’m glad you’re here!” Merri happily embraced her and Lily responded in kind.

“I am too!”

“Come on, let’s get you ready!” Merri grabbed her hand and led her up to her room. Half an hour later, Lily was looking pretty and they were ready to go.

Lily and Merri left her house to walk out to her car. As they got into Merri’s beat-up, ten-year-old Jetta, Lily was nervous as hell but thrilled to be herself outside, in public. They drove to a mall across town, where they wouldn’t bump into anyone who knew Billy. When they parked, Merri checked on Lily to see how she was doing. She was scared, but wanted to do it. It felt so good to be making a start that it overpowered her fears, at least for the moment.

Merri showed Lily to a boutique that sold accessories, including handbags.

“First things first, Lily. You need a bag for your things.”

“Yeah, girls’ clothes have no usable pockets, do they?”

“No, they sure as hell don’t.” Merri giggled. “Come on!”

Merri and Lily browsed the section of handbags and Lily picked out a reasonably priced but nice-looking handbag that would go with a variety of colors so it would match whatever clothes they picked out — as well as the ones she had on. Happy with the purchase, Merri paid for it to avoid the obvious problem with using Billy’s credit card. Lily had a smile on her face as they left the store. They made a quick stop in the ladies’ room to transfer Lily’s wallet, keys and cellphone into her new purse, as well as a tube of lip gloss that Merri gave her.

“Next stop: clothes!” Merri smiled at Lily and took her hand.

“Sounds great to me!”

They walked into a GAP store and browsed the merchandise. They found a couple of skirts for Lily to try on as well as a few well priced cotton tops. Lily tried things on and found that some of them fit. She walked away with a knee-length plum corduroy skirt, a black cotton t-shirt with a scoop neck and a second in lavender. They picked out a couple of pairs of nylon tights in off-white and black and rung it all up.

“That should be a good start for you. How about some shoes to go with your new clothes?”

“I’d love some!”

“Follow me.”

They went to a Payless Shoe Source branch at the mall and picked out a couple of pairs of casual flats to match the GAP clothes they’d bought.

Satisfied with their shopping success, they headed for the food court. Surrounded with the aromas of cooking foods of several cuisines, they walked up to the Panda Express counter and ordered some good Japanese food.

They chose a table and sat down to a nice lunch to celebrate Lily’s new venture. They were too lost in conversation to be bothered by the groups of teens and single mothers with unruly three-year-olds in their near vicinity.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I am having fun.”

“So am I, Merri. I’m really glad we did this.”

“Good! I’m glad you’re enjoying it, too, not that I didn’t expect a girl to love shopping.”

They shared a giggle.

“Yeah, what girl doesn’t love shopping, right?” Lily kidded.

“Oh, I know, it’s a stereotype. Anyway, what do you want to do next, Lily?”

“I’d love more clothes, of course,” Lily put forth her own stereotype, “but I’ll have to wait until I have more money.” Her expression dimmed a few shades.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of snickering. They turned to see two twelve-year-old girls pointing and giggling at Lily. Fortunately they were just out of hearing range.

“Come on, Merri. Let’s get out of here.”

Merri put a hand on Lily’s and gently rubbed it.

“Stay calm, Lily. They might just think we’re… you know… lesbians or something.” Merri blushed. “I’m guessing they don’t know about you. Nobody else has noticed anything.”

“Well, maybe. God, why do people have to be like that? What do they care? I swear, people have got to learn to be more tolerant.” Lily sighed. “I should go over there and talk to them. Somebody’s got to educate people. That’s where it starts.” Lily griped and Merri looked at her with empathy, sliding her hand up Lily’s arm to her shoulder.

“No, don’t. You are right that people need to be tolerant, but don’t worry about those little brats. Whoever their unlucky parents are, it’s their responsibility to drill some sense into them.”

People telling me it’s not my responsibility
But it is my problem and it’s my life, my life
I must believe the solutions to the problems are in my hands

“You’re right. Let’s ignore them. Let’s just figure out what we’re going to do and get out of here.”

“Okay. Do you want to head back to my place? My parents are gone until tomorrow night. You can stay a girl as long as you’d like.”

“Do we have to go back to your place?” Lily looked sadly down at the table. “I kind of like being myself out here. I don’t know when I can do this again.”

Merri gently put her hand on Lily’s.

“You can do this again anytime you want to. All you have to do is call me.” She empathized as she slid her hand down Lily’s arm to her hand. “Okay?”

“Thanks, Merri. You’re the best.” Lily smiled warmly at Merri, gently took her hand and squeezed it.

“This is what friends are for, sweetheart!”

“True.” They shared a smile across the table for a few delicious seconds.

“So. Do you want to go to a movie?”

“Sure!”

“Have you seen Avatar yet?”

“No, I haven’t, but I definitely want to!”

“So do I! Let’s go see it! They’re showing it in 3-D here! We’ll drop your new stuff in my trunk and go for it. Okay?”

“Sounds great!”

They paid the bill and headed for Merri’s car. As they dropped off Lily’s things, a couple of boys approached them. Lily was nervous as she sensed their masculine energy which should have felt so normal to her but felt somehow foreign instead.

“How are you ladies doing today?” One deep voice asked.

“Oh, we’re all set, thanks.” Merri pretended to misinterpret the greeting as an offer to help with their bags.

“Are you here on your own?”

Lily saw the boys looking at their chests more than their faces and had a pretty good idea what they were thinking about. She knew they wanted nothing more than to lure them to the nearest bed, disrobe them and start right in. Lily was amazed at the way boys never seemed to notice the girl behind the breasts. She never lost track of that person. Her behavior towards women — and just about everything else — was so different from boys like these.

She marveled at just how different her world was from theirs.

Feel the presence of other
Love the resistance it presents
Different from and outside of me
Pushing me to find what is self

Merri must have had the same impressions as Lily. Her next move confirmed as much.

“We’re together, actually.” With that, Merri gently grabbed Lily’s chin and kissed her squarely on her lips in a long, hungry, loving kiss. Lily had to uncross her eyes when it was over.

“Ah… I see.” Deep Voice raised his eyebrows and glanced at the other. “Well, you dykes have a nice day then!”

They turned around and left. Merri watched them go to be sure they didn’t decide to come back, but Lily stared at Merri. Merri’s intent may have been to put on a show for the boys, but that kiss was not fake. She’d felt Merri twitch once or twice during the kiss and she knew what it meant.

“Um, Lily…” Merri turned around to face her. “About that kiss… um…” She tried in vain to find the words. “W-we should probably talk about that.”

“Yeah, we probably should.” But Lily was smiling — and so was Merri. “Want to head for the theater?” Lily asked smoothly, not realizing how it sounded.

Merri giggled at the double-entendre before uttering her own.

“It’d be my pleasure.” She offered Lily her arm and Lily gladly took it.

* * *

When they emerged from the theater, three hours and least three kisses later, they chattered about how much they loved the movie. As they approached the mall entrance, flanked by a Claire’s Boutique and a Radio Shack, Merri decided it was time for their next move.

“So what do you want to do now?” Her face lit up. “Hey, we should get your ears pierced! How about that?” She enthused.

“Um, well…” Lily trailed off. Merri noticed that Lily was looking low.

“Are you okay, Lily?”

“Yeah, it’s just… I-I can’t get my ears pierced… not yet… um… my family will be home soon… I-I should go.”

“Want to stay the night with me instead of going home?” Merri offered.

The look on Lily’s face was one of deep longing and commensurate regret.

“Oh, I wish could.” Lily tried to smile. “But it’s family night… and… you know how my military dad is about the rules.”

“Ooh boy. You’re right. You’re going to have to go home.”

Merri was beginning to think she wanted Lily to spend the night with her as much as Lily did. The regret hung in the air between them for a few seconds as they looked into each other’s eyes.

“Well, come on. Let’s get you back to my place and get you…” She noticed the gloomy change in Lily’s face and chose her words carefully. “…erm, let’s get you… ready to… to go home again, huh?”

She put one arm around Lily and walked her back to the car, warmly rubbing her back to make her feel better.

* * *

Soon, they were back in Merri’s bedroom. Lily decided to change into some of her new clothes and chose the black top and black tights to wear with the plum skirt and the black flats she had bought earlier. Lily smiled as she looked in the mirror afterwards, feeling better than ever, though saddened that she would soon be forced to change back into Billy.

“Lily, do you want to talk now… a-about the… kisses? We should probably talk.” Merri asked from right behind her.

“Yeah, we should.” Lily turned around, put her arms around her, and smiled warmly. “That kiss wasn’t fake, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t fake.” Merri looked away. “I mean, I wanted it to look real to convince those horny bastards to leave, but…” She looked back at Lily. “I wanted it to be real, too.”

“So did I. And it was real. Very real.” Lily kissed her hard and kissed her long, until the alarm clock in her head warned her about her family’s imminent arrival home. Reluctantly, Lily pulled back with a loving smile on her face.

“It’s looking like something is happening between us…”

“Yeah.” Merri smiled warmly.

“…and I’m really glad.”

“Me too! I’ve liked you for a while now.”

“I’ve liked you too, ever since I met you.”

Merri sighed with relief.

“I’m so relieved! When I first kissed you, I was kind of worried that I might have made a mistake, since I didn’t know that you feel the same way. Then, when we kissed during the movie, I thought maybe it wasn’t a mistake, but I just wanted to be sure. I’m still glad we talked.”

“So am I — and just so you know, there is zero mistake about my feelings for you.”

“Right back at you.”

They shared a contented sigh and Lily’s face dimmed again.

“As much as I would love to… explore this…” She touched her nose to Merri’s and gave her a fleeting kiss. “If I don’t want my family to see me carrying girl’s clothes into the house I’d really better go. Damn it.” She chuckled.

“Do you want to leave your clothes here so they don’t find them?” Merri asked.
Lily figured that, in addition to her genuine kindness, Merri wanted an excuse for Lily to come and visit her — and soon — but that was just fine with Lily. She was happy to have a reason to see Merri!

“Yeah, that’s a great idea! Thanks!”

“No problem at all.”

“Of course, I still have to go home as Billy.” Lily looked around the room. “Now, where the hell did I put Billy’s clothes?”

“Oh, wait! You came here as Lily!”

“Well, kind of. I changed in the garage.” Lily chuckled. “That’s where my clothes are.” Lily smiled at Merri. “Allrighty. I guess I better go and get them.”

“Okay. I’ll wait here.”

* * *

Lily stood there, looking at Billy’s clothes stuffed into a backpack, thinking about turning back into Billy and hating that she had no choice but to do so. She wrestled with the conflict raging within her, trying to motivate herself to change back and failing. She just couldn’t do it any more.

She turned around, left Billy’s clothes where they were and stepped out of the garage, still dressed as a girl. It was time to reveal her secret to her family. Lily had to live and Billy had to die. It was time for Lily to sit down with her family and have a talk. She rushed home to get it over with.

Slow down, just talk
Sit down, right here
Must be an answer to the question of birth and death
A world with some meaning, a world with some peace

Lily was tired of the lies. She wanted to put an end to the double life, the stage act, the magician’s metamorphosis. She wanted to be comfortable in her own skin every day.

She was nervous about telling her family about her, but her parents had raised her to be honest with them. What she was about to do was right, honest, and necessary for her well being — and she had a right to protect her well-being, damn it! She felt more sure of herself with each step she took, each yard she passed, each tree-lined block she covered.

As she neared her home, however, her feet turned cold and her pace slowed down. She wondered if it was a good idea to walk into her house and surprise her family like this. Tell them, yes, but show up at home dressed as a girl?

Inside, it’s turbulent
Outside, reflects it

She knew that was only her “inner saboteur” talking but at times, her intuition agreed with her saboteur. This was definitely one of those times. She would just have to hope that her intuition was misinformed. She resisted the warnings of her saboteur and her intuition and forced herself to keep walking toward her house.

Hear you knockin’ on the inside, hear me breathe answer please
Hear you knockin’ on the inside, hear you breathe answer me

Lily’s saboteur insisted that she was supposed to be a boy. That was what everyone expected and that was what Lily had to do. Well, fuck that and fuck what people think! I have to do what’s right for me because that’s best for everyone in the long run, isn’t it? It won’t be any better for everyone if I get to the point of suicide or if I just turn into a bitter asshole. I’m doing the right thing. I just have to believe that! Even if they tell me to be a boy, I’m still right to do this because I have to do it! Lily made herself keep walking until she reached her backyard.

People telling me what they think that I should be
Only thing that I can be is myself, myself
I must believe in my choices to create value out of everything

Lily finally stopped outside her back door, amid the roses and cherry blossoms, thinking about her family’s reactions, feeling especially nervous of her father and her brother. They were men — military men. They wouldn’t like Lily being a girl. They would ask why she couldn’t be more like them. They would stand there being all manly and look down on her for being girly. What was it with men anyway? Why did manly men seem so afraid of people who were different from them?

Feel the presence of other
Love the resistance it presents
Different from and outside of me
Pushing me to find what is self
Feel the presence of other
Love the resistance it offers
Different from and outside of me
Pushing me to find what is self

As she stood there, reminiscing, she realized that she was shaking with nerve. For a moment, she wrestled with her fears, but decided she was going around in circles and was sick to death of that shit. It was time. Everything had to change. It just had to. This could not continue.

This time, it’s different
I’m sure I mean it

Lily was scared shitless, but at the same time, she felt a certain peace knowing that the lies would soon be over and that some kind of change was coming. She stood up, stepped to her backdoor, put her hand on the knob and started to turn it.

“Lily?” Merri’s whispered voice beckoned her to turn around.

“Merri! God, I forgot you were waiting for me!” Lily went over and hugged her new girlfriend, whispering in her ear. “I saw my clothes sitting there in the garage and I just… I can’t be a boy anymore. I can’t do it. I have to tell them. Now. Tonight. It just… it’s consuming me. I-it just has to stop.” Lily clung to Merri, who was now worried for her.

“Are you sure you want to do this right now?” Merri continued the whispered conversation.

“Yes, I’m sure. I don’t want to go back to being a boy. As long as I keep hiding I have to be a boy and I can’t anymore. I just can’t. I would rather die, Merri — and I don’t think either of us wants to know just how serious I am when I say that.” A tear slid down Lily’s face, bringing forth a tear from Merri as well.

“Okay. Then I should be there with you when you tell your family. It’s a girlfriend’s place to be there for her lover, isn’t it?” She smiled at Lily.

“Yeah, it is.” Lily smiled back. “And I’m really glad you’re here. I’m sorry I didn’t come upstairs and get you. I just… it just blinded me and I just started walking.”

“It’s okay to be human.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t worry about it. Are you ready?”

“No. Come on. Let’s do this.”

Lily released Merri, took her by the hand and led her inside the house. The powder blue kitchen was warm and smelled of onions and seasonings. Merri knew that their dinner was sitting in the brushed steel oven, probably waiting for Lily.

Lily closed the front door behind her, took a breath, squeezed Merri’s hand tightly and went to the family room, where her family was sitting around the TV watching the winter Olympic games as they waited for Lily to return. Lily took one last breath before alerting them to her presence.

“Hi, everyone. You know Merri, right?”

Lily’s family stared at her, with their mouths open. Lily’s sister, Tammy, burst out laughing. Her brother, Matt, dropped the glass of Coke he was holding and it landed on the almond carpet with a muted clunk and a splash. Matt, however, was so stunned he didn’t notice the cola pooled on the carpet and dripping down the cherry wood coffee table.

“B-Billy?? I-is that you??” Her mother started as she stood up.

“No way, Bill!” Matt marveled.

“Son, would you care to tell me why you’re dressed like that?” His father was now standing with a soldier’s stiff upright posture — and he wasn’t smiling.

Lily started crying.

“I’m not your son, Dad. I’m your daughter. This is me. The real me. This is who I really am.” She hiccoughed. “I’m a girl. Really. I am. You have to believe me.”

Tammy was still giggling a little.

“Don’t worry! After the way you used to play Barbies with me and let me do makeovers on you, I believe you!” She chortled.

Lily managed to smile at her, grateful that at least Clair seemed to be taking the news okay.

Lily’s mother and father began talking and asking questions at the same time.

“Are you playing a joke on us, son?”
“Is that why Merri’s here?”

Slow down, just listen
It’s my life, it’s my life

“This is not a joke, Dad. Believe me when I tell you I wish to hell it were a joke. This is serious. I am a girl. Merri’s here because she’s my girlfriend now and she’s supporting me through this. Come on, you’ve all noticed how different I am! You all know what a miserable excuse for a man I’ve always been.”

“But you’re on the teams, son!”

“But I never play in the games! I sit on the bench doing nothing except maybe shining it up with my useless ass — and I hate sports! I mean, have you ever once seen a grass stain on any of my uniforms?”

Lily’s mother gently toyed with the cameo pendant of the Virgin Mary on her necklace.

“Well, now that you mention it-”

“But you always laugh at my raunchiest jokes.” Matt managed to speak.

“And your raunchiest jokes make me want to vomit! I only laugh because I always thought I had to if I wanted to be accepted.”

For several moments, nobody spoke.

Lily’s mother slowly came over to her and embraced her.

“Oh honey, why didn’t you tell us you were feeling this way?”

Lily told them how her fears started as a result of being told not to be girly and to act more like her brother. Again the room went quiet, until Lily’s father spoke.

“Son, I-” He caught himself messing up the words already. “I mean, honey, I believe the current thinking on this is that it’s a medical condition. We have to get this confirmed and if it is confirmed then we have to get it cleared up. You need… whatever kind of help you need so that you do this the right way and don’t go off doing things that are dangerous or illegal. If you really are a girl then… okay, we’ll make that work. You can’t help how you were born. You’ve just got to talk to the right specialists and do what they tell you, every step of the way. I expect you to do this with the help of professionals, is that clear?”

Carry out my orders and preserve the chain of command, right Sarge? Lily jokingly gave her father a salute.

“Yes sir. I will. Believe me.” Lily went and hugged her dad. She still didn’t know what Matt was thinking and was afraid to turn around and find out — until Matt grabbed her right out of her father’s arms and embraced her, stepping in the spilled cola in the process.

“Oh dear, let me get that!” Lily’s mother headed for the kitchen to grab a dishrag.

Meanwhile, Matt gave Lily a rather soldier-style bear hug, but any embrace felt wonderful to Lily.

“I guess I’m not sure I understand this, but I understand enough. I know that it’s not just a hobby and it’s serious. Besides, I don’t see a freak here. I just see a normally dressed girl. Anyway, I am backing you up on this. If need be, I’ve got your back, okay?”

“Thanks, Matt.” Lily gave him a squeeze before Matt put her down.

“What about me? I’m in — and thank God I have a sister!” Lily gave Clair a great big sisterly hug. When Lily was done, she smiled at Merri, hugged her and kissed her passionately.

“Well, you’ve definitely got yourself a girlfriend.” Everyone laughed. “Have you got a name, you know, a girl’s name?” Lily’s father finished asking.

“Yes. My name is Lily.”

This time, it’s different
I’m sure I mean it
Slow down, just listen
It’s my life, it’s my life

THE END

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

THE PRESENCE OF OTHER
By Howard Jones

This time, it’s different
Be sure, I mean it
Can’t go on trading on ideas that I just don’t own
A life with some meaning, a life with some sense

I want, to blame you
Give you, my power
I keep it all on the inside, keep it locked in the dark
I keep it all on the inside, keep it locked in the dark

People telling me it’s not my responsibility
But it is my problem and it’s my life, my life
I must believe the solutions, to the problems, are in my hands

Feel the presence of other
Love the resistance it presents
Different from and outside of me
Pushing me to find what is self

Slow down, just talk
Sit down, right here
Must be an answer to the question of birth and death
A world with some meaning, a world with some peace

Inside, it’s turbulent
Outside, reflects it
Hear you knockin’ on the inside, hear me breathe answer please
Hear you knockin’ on the inside, hear you breathe answer me

People telling me what they think that I should be
Only thing that I can be is myself, myself
I must believe in my choices to create value out of everything

Feel the presence of other
Love the resistance it presents
Different from and outside of me
Pushing me to find what is self
Feel the presence of other
Love the resistance it offers
Different from and outside of me
Pushing me to find what is self

This time, it’s different
I’m sure I mean it
Slow down, just listen
It’s my life, it’s my life

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

The Present

Author:

Mona Lisa

Caution:

CAUTION

Audience Rating:

Mature Subjects (pg15)

Publication:

7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Other Keywords:

Prank (mean but no harm done)

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

It's been awhile! For the last few years, life's journey has been taking absolutely everything I have to give it. However, I have cranked out this modern take on the theme of the Fates messing with your life, thrusting you into the kind of situation that makes you feel trapped and teaching you the harsh lesson that control is an illusion. Writing about that metaphorically was a great exercise that I thoroughly enjoyed. I hope you enjoy this story!

THE PRESENT

It was as though the Fates themselves were marching down the hall. Three girls, known to be close friends, paraded down the main corridor of the school, amidst the chattering of students at their lockers, garnering the usual male attention from the crowd. They looked like models from a catalog in their jeans and button front shirts - apart from Regina, the goth in black leather and denim. She would be right at home in a horror movie. I had just turned my attention back to my locker and my business when I heard their footsteps move behind me - and stop. As my eyebrows rose in surprise, I turned around to see who they were looking for.

“Hey there, Kelly. Got some time?” Olivia asked with a pretty smile. The redhead’s two friends, Margot and Regina, flanked her and all three stood there, grinning at me. My embarrassing lack of experience with girls left me at a loss.

“Um… yeah, I guess. What’s up?” I stammered, raising my quiet voice over the hallway din. While they exchanged glances, my hand scratched my hairline and pulled a strand of golden-brown hair behind my ear that had escaped my pony tail.

“We just want to hang out,” she evaded. They want to spend time with me? Normally, they ignore me! Hmmm. Something doesn’t sit right, but these girls have never given me any trouble before, so I can’t imagine why they would now.

“Alright. What do you want to do?” I probed, putting my stuff in my locker, shutting the beige door and padlocking it.

“Oh, we just thought we’d… get to know one another.” She replied, making her friends laugh. “Come on! Let’s go somewhere we can talk.” Her friends giggled as she turned and started walking, leading the way. Uncertain as to what was so funny, I let it go - just like I ignored the gym bag that Margot was carrying, her sports equipment being none of my business.

It was odd having two pretty girls flanking me as we went. I was unaccustomed to the looks of envy from some of the guys as we processed down the hall. Conversation was sparse as we walked past the main entrance to the auditorium and turned right, down the long hallway along the left side. There was nobody about down this narrower passage, as it was the end of the day and the other students were visiting their lockers on the main corridor. I didn’t mind, as it was crowded enough with our little group filling the width of the space. At the far end of the hall, where the hallway turned right along the rear of the stage, Margot unlocked a broad door with a sign on the outside, pushing the door wide open as she entered, holding the door as we followed her in.

Why on earth are we going into the costume storage room? I wondered, glancing at the three aisles of hanging costumes beyond the open space up front. Well, girls often talk in the bathroom in groups. Maybe this is some kind of alternative since I’m not a girl? Once we were all inside the room, Margot locked the door behind her, filling me with the kind of anxiety that might be induced by someone breaking into my home late at night. Oh shit! This is too much privacy! I don’t like this! Regina moved toward my left. Meanwhile, Margot blocked the door, dropping the bag to one side as Olivia hovered close to my right.

“Okay, Kelly,” Regina smirked. “We are dressing you as a girl. Right here. Right now. Start stripping.”

“What??” I blurted. “You’ve got to be kidding!!”

They just laughed as they advanced on me, grabbing my sweater and pulling it over my head. My collared t-shirt followed it within seconds, leaving me naked from the waist up. Okay, you’re not kidding.

“Oh, she’ll pull this off beautifully! She’s even got a bit of hip to show off!” Margot cackled, getting the others started. I glanced at the duffle bag, wondering what the hell they were doing. Oh, my God! It’s full of girls’ clothes, isn’t it! That must be how they brought them in here! With my un-muscular body, long hair, and large, blue eyes, I would have no trouble looking like a girl. Margot was right! The guys teased me every day about looking girly. I need a way out of this! Fast!

As the girls’ laughter faded, Regina reached for my belt buckle. “Hey!! Stop it!!” I batted her hands away. Amazingly, she did stop - for now. They exchanged glances as they caught their breath, plotting their next move.

“Look,” Regina smirked. “Either you remove your clothes, or we’ll fucking strip you right now!”

I must have blanched.

“Tell you what,” she stepped over to one aisle of costumes, “we’ll give you one more chance to strip yourself,” she offered, pulling out a silky, red wrap – or maybe it was a cape - and throwing it at me. “Either way, hon, you’re about to lose your drawers.” She smiled evilly.

Well, shit. There are three of them, all of them taller than me. I can’t win. The best I’m going to get out of this is to preserve some small measure of dignity. I suppose I’d better take what I can get. Sighing, I may have dropped an f-bomb. Something made them giggle.

“That’s right, sweetheart.” Regina rubbed it in, smirking at me. Oh, shut up, you bitch! Defeated, I wound the cape around my waist like a towel, dropped the remainder of my clothing to the floor, and stepped out of it. My, how fast it was all confiscated! I couldn’t see any of my clothing. I wondered if they’d stuffed it in Margot’s bag. Then I was distracted from thoughts of my own clothes by the lavender, lace-trimmed satin panties that Margot pulled out of her gym bag and handed to Regina, who now held them out to me, her face still twisted into that smirk. I was surprised she would ever touch them. Her cross-shaped earrings and black lipstick testified that she wouldn’t be seen dead in those panties!

Knowing that there was no escape - because those girls would tackle me, if necessary - I took the panties from her and slipped them on under the cape - which she immediately ripped away from me, leaving me clad only in a pair of lavender, satin panties. Now Regina handed me the bra to match. Having no choice, I put the thing on, though not without fumbling. Regina almost grabbed it from me to do it right but then I got it on. She did shove a couple of foam falsies into the cups before adjusting the straps. I wondered if she had once used them until she grew out of them - if so, she certainly needed them no longer!

“I like what I see, Kelly!” She chuckled.

You can naff off and drop dead!

Now Margot stepped forward, holding up a lavender, round neck sweater top and a black, knit skirt. I took the skirt and put it on. It hung to mid-thigh and fit almost tightly. Soon, it was joined by the lavender top, which fit equally well. How the hell did they know - of course! Margot is on the drama committee and works with the costuming for the school plays! A well-developed knack for judging sizes would be invaluable for that! And it’s why she’s got a key to this room, too! With an evil grin, Margot pulled out what looked like a balled-up pair of black knee-highs - until she shook them out and held them by their waistband. Pantyhose?? Now, that is completely unnecessary!!

“I am not wearing those!” I growled.

“Yes, you are,” Regina insisted, all three girls advancing on me. “Even if you run ‘em, we brought extras!” She grinned. “So, do you need help with these?” Regina drawled in a voice that dripped with sarcasm, taking the nylons from Margot.

“Um, yes.” I murmured. I could have put them on myself, but I didn’t want them knowing that.

“No problem. Sit.” She motioned to the wing chair, upholstered in old-fashioned gold-tone fabric, that sat against the end of one aisle, facing the door, when it wasn’t on stage in a production. Now trembling, I did as she asked. She made quick work of gathering up one leg, putting it on my foot, and sliding it up over my knee. Oh, they’re polka dot. Wonderful. Repeating the process on the other side, she told me to stand up. Wondering why I didn’t fight harder - until I remembered that there were three of them and they were all bigger - I did as she asked and watched her finish putting them on, settling the waist band in place and dropping the skirt. Finally, Margot held out a pair of black, patent leather pumps with two-inch French heels. I sat again to put them on, tending to my skirt and crossing each leg as I slid on the shoe.

I noticed the girls exchanging glances and couldn’t resist a petulant defense. “What? It seemed like the easiest way!” Finished with my outfit, I sat in the chair rolling my eyes, with my legs crossed at my ankles and my hands in my lap.

This was not what I expected of freshman year!

“Stand up!” Regina demanded. I stood and felt myself pushed toward a full-length mirror on the side wall that was flanked by makeup lighting and faced the open space. I remembered someone mentioning that it was mostly used to test a costume or a makeup job. Makeup job! I tensed. Oh, dear God!

“Let’s see, what can we do?” Regina murmured.

Oh, please don’t!

“Well, whatever you’re going to do, do it fast. We have to catch Lindsay before she goes home!” Olivia admonished, grabbing my attention.

Lindsay? Not Lindsay Smith! Oh no! I have a huge crush on her! What are they planning to do to her?

“Oh, don’t get your thong in a knot! We’ll be quick!” Regina chortled. She quickly brushed my shoulder-length hair straight back before twisting it at the back of my head and coiling it, securing it with a shiny, black hair clip. I had seen this hairstyle on a few of the girls. It seemed to be a classic style - and one that I loved.

“I’m just saying,” Olivia defended. “Her Mythology class is over soon.” She grabbed my right hand and started adding press-on nails in a French manicure style, filing each one to smooth the edges, while Regina put foundation on me, followed by powder. Well, here we go. Goddamnit! Margot added magnetic, silver teardrop earrings as Regina moved on to mascara and eyeliner, followed by purple and gray eyeshadow, which she smeared with knowledgable fingers. My God! Those are amazing smoky eyes! I almost want her to teach me how to do that - almost.

“Oh, how cute! She’s blushing enough on her own so we don’t even need to add any!” Regina taunted, as she added dark, cherry-flavored lip gloss before stepping back and admiring her handiwork. “Even your eyebrows aren’t bad. They will do just fine. Damn, girl! You do look hot!” She kidded, shaking her head. “If I were a lesbo, I would be all… over… you.” She poked me between the collar bones with each of the last three words while Margot added a silver necklace with a flat, silver heart pendant and a silver claddagh ring - on my ring finger, of course.

“Alright, guys, we need to get a move on if we want to grab Lindsay! We only have a few minutes.”

If only I hadn’t left my cellphone in my locker! Now I can’t warn her - unless I can get by them and run for it - not that I would get very far in a skirt, pumps, and pantyhose. Augh!!

“She’s done, anyway,” Regina smiled. I watched, as they put their stuff back in their bags, trying to find an opening, a way to get by them, but they were soon out of the room. As the door closed behind them, I took a step toward it, intending to peek out into the hall, but then I heard them lock it behind them. It was then that I noticed the double-cylinder construction of the lock.

Oh shit!

I dashed over to the door and tried to pull it open, but it was locked.

“Augh! You bitches!” I complained as I pounded the door one, futile time. I looked around to try to find my clothes, only to find them missing. Then I remembered Margot’s gym bag. That’s where they are! Oh, great. Just great. Now what? I drifted over to the mirror to look at the smoky eyes that Regina had given me. Damn it, I’ll never be able to reproduce that! It’s just not fair! I could see which colors she’d applied and where, but my previous attempts at a smoky eye had been laughable. Growing bored with my makeup, I paced in the open space, deciding what to do next. I might as well have a look at the costume dresses.

Shrugging, I strolled down the center aisle, to pass the time while I thought about my predicament. Damn school needs to be a lot more careful who they trust with the damn keys! I groused, as I pulled out a morbid, black dress that would look right at home on Morticia Addams. Or Regina, I giggled. Putting back the costume, I sent a cloud of dust flying that had me sneezing - and I was allergic to dust. Well, this is getting better and better! Returning my focus to the problem at hand, I got to thinking about what they had in mind for Lindsay, as I pulled out what looked like a medieval queen’s dress. Regina said that I do look hot as a girl. I shuddered at that thought, browsing as I wondered if that had anything to do with my current “incarceration.” Could Regina have been repeating something she overheard, perhaps? "Filthy cows." I muttered, wondering who, then, uttered the original comment.

I spotted a familiar Renaissance dress and took it out for a closer look. I was reminded of the school’s recent production of Romeo and Juliet, in which Lindsay had played Juliet. I had thought that Lindsay had done a remarkable job in the role - and that she had looked insufferably alluring in the tight-fitting Renaissance dress I was now holding. I was sure that it was a tad naughtier than the school would have preferred, but it wasn’t indecent. It was just suggestive - not that I was complaining! Sighing, I realized that Lindsay was about my size. I knew this dress would fit me. But what if they come back? I worried. No, I can’t risk it. If they catch me in this dress, then they’ll know that I like to dress as a girl. This is bad enough already without being outed.

As if on cue, I heard someone coming, though I had no idea who. I quickly put the dress back, sneezing again, as I spun to stare at the door. Damn it, I don’t want to be caught like this - but then again, if I want to get out of here, I’m going to have to walk past whoever that is - unless I want to risk them locking me in again! I listened as the giggling of three girls approached the door - and the grousing of a fourth, making my eyes fly wide open. It’s Lindsay! Oh, dear God, no!! My heart sank like an anchor. Having no other option, I hid among the dresses on the rack, grateful that most of them were floor length. I could only listen as they unlocked the door and walked in.

“You guys, I really have to go. You said you want to show me something, so please do it right now!” Lindsay whined.

They brought her here to show her something? Oh, God! I glanced down at my clothing, with my nose now itching as though I had snorted a burr. Damn these allergies! I’m going to sneeze!

“Keep your panties on! This won’t take long!” Regina cooed. I could hear that damned smirk! “We left you a little present in here, that’s all.”

“A present? Where? And why?” She scoffed, looking around the room, judging from the sound. Then I heard footsteps running, the door slamming, and someone locking it.

Aw, shit!

“Hey! What the hell??” She banged on the door. “Assholes! I have to get to a dance class!” She banged some more and I heard a whimper. Then it sounded as though she slumped against the door and slid to the floor. For a beat, there was silence. Then, she muttered, “Assholes. I’ll fix you!” I could hear her rummaging in her bag and then using an electronic device. “No reception?! Augh!! That’s just beautiful!! No wonder they picked this room!!” It sounded like she flopped her head backward, against the door.

“Being locked in the closet storage room is not my idea of a present! Assholes!” she fumed at the door.

They did not clear the air in here very often - and my allergies would not be mollified. Shit!! I can’t sneeze now! No! No! NO!! In desperation, I went to raise my hand to clamp my nostrils shut, makeup be damned, only to rustle one of the dresses in the process. I dropped my hand again, not wanting to make another sound. Stupid, bloody taffeta!

“Hey! Is someone there?” Lindsay demanded - right before I sneezed.

“Damn it!” I hissed before I sneezed twice more.

“Who is that??” She demanded, stomping a few steps toward me, trying to sound tough - and failing.

The poor girl is clearly unnerved. I’m sure she would appreciate knowing that she is, at least, in safe company. “It’s just me,” I confessed, in the feminine voice I normally used when I dressed as a girl. I was suddenly grateful that it was so convincing; I felt a weak hope that it might disguise me. Though it’s even better if I don’t allow her to get a good look at my face.

“Me who?” She crossed her arms, sounding impatient, yet relieved.

“Just me.” I came out of my hiding place and stood before her, my legs together, staring at my hands as my left one played with the ring on my right. She had her beautiful sandy blond hair in a messy ponytail. A navy-sweater-and-jeans combo flattered her figure while her eyes studied me like a jigsaw puzzle. I couldn’t look at her because I dreaded her reaction to my appearance the way a puppy might fear a rolled up newspaper. Plus, I had messed up my hair and I needed to straighten my skirt. I wasn’t even presentable as a girl! At least my pantyhose aren’t laddered. Pause. That was an odd thought! Bringing my mind back to my present circumstances, I realized that she was still staring at me, no doubt still trying to figure out what the hell was going on. “I think I’m supposed to be your, uh… present.” I pointed at myself, still speaking in my feminine voice. Well, she doesn’t seem concerned for her safety any longer. That’s good, I guess.

“You look familiar. Do I know you?”

I felt my spine stiffen and my brain crash. I don’t know what to say! If I tell her who I am, then she will know that I’m a boy in pantyhose. On top of that, my practiced feminine voice would tend to give away my experience dressing as a girl. Given the inevitability of that outcome, however, I nodded. Then she gasped and her eyes grew wide.

“Kelly?? Is that you?? It is you!!” She marveled.

“In the hose,” I kidded with a rueful smirk, extending one leg. She laughed for a moment - until her brow knitted.

“Wait a minute,” she drawled. “Are you in on this?” she demanded, her brow furrowed, her eyes suspicious.

I stared at her with my own eyes the size of pizza platters. “Oh, sure! I love being locked in - ah-choo - a dusty costume closet, dressed as a girl against my will, right after,” I faltered, “right after a group of girls shows me some attention for the first time, ever.” I wound down. “Yeah, that’s… that’s my idea of a great time.” I let out a defeated sigh. “How about you? Are you having fun?” I rolled my eyes and looked down at my ring as my fingers played with it.

“No, I’m not having fun. I am going to be late for my dance class! I might even miss it, if we’re locked in here long enough.”

“Well, as long as we’re stuck here, tell me something?” I looked back into her beautiful blue eyes. “Would you happen to know why Regina told me that, um,” I glanced at my outfit, “apparently, I look hot like this?”

She blanched, before turning bright red, and covering her face with her hands. “Ohhhhhh, my God!”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” I groused. Realizing that my hair was still a mess, I went over the mirror to straighten myself up.

“Oh… my fucking… Gawd!” She shook her head, her hands still hiding her face. “Oh, they didn’t!” She slowly moved to join me.

“Um, yes, they did! Look at me!” I gestured from my hair to my pumps before resuming my reparations.

“You mean…” Her eyes widened. “You really didn’t do this voluntarily?” My jaw nearly pile drove through the floor.

“Hell no!” My hands went to my hips as I spun to face her. Here?? At school?? Have you lost your grip on reality?!

“Jesus, those assholes don’t know when you’re kidding!” She barked, stomping over to the door and giving it a good kick as though she were trying to kick it down. Too bad it opened inward, or it might have accomplished something! “I’m sorry. It appears that I may have gotten you into this jam.” She stared at the door, sighing as she studied her feet. “My friend Jeannie… she… God, this is embarrassing, but… it was a few days ago.” She shrugged. “She caught me staring at you a little too long in English class.” She took a breath. “I had to give her some reason for staring at you, and… I noticed your long hair, and… I’m really sorry… I told her that you’d be hot if you were a girl.”

Really? My heart rate accelerated. But she did use the word “kidding.”

She continued, “Don’t worry; I trust her not to spread that around. I also know that she laughed when I said it, so she didn’t take it seriously. I knew she wouldn’t. But those three girls,” she made an obscene gesture toward the door, “started laughing behind us and I knew that they had heard me. And now they’ve dressed you up and locked us in here!” She threw her arms in the air, letting them flop at her sides. We fell silent as she held her head in her hands, still facing away from me.

“Well, it’s not your fault they don’t know a… joke… when they hear one.” I reassured her. A joke. Really? Is that all I am to you? Well, now I need to know! “So you… don’t really…” I was having trouble saying it. I sighed loudly before continuing. “You don’t really think I’m hot as a girl, do you? You were only saying that to Jeannie because she caught you staring?”

I could have sworn that I saw her cringe. Oh, God. She didn’t even mean it after all of this? Well, shit; that’s lovely. This might have turned out to be worth it if she actually thinks I’m hot as a girl - well, being dressed up might have, anyway - but if she doesn’t then… damn this!

“Hey, listen, don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to be hurt if you don’t think I’m hot dressed as a girl,” I sulked. Well, only a little, because I have always thought I look good when I do this at home... and this might be who I really am... and I love you-

“Well, truthfully, I was trying to protect myself--”

“Oh, this is terrific! I’m dressed up as a girl against my will and locked in here over something you didn’t even mean?” I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

“--but I did mean it!” She took a breath, continuing as though she were reasoning with the door. “Honestly. When I look at you... I don’t know why, really, but... I don’t see a b-boy. I see a girl. And I do think she’s hot.” She still wouldn’t face me. I brightened, suddenly thankful that her back was still turned. I wasn’t sure what she would think of someone who was elated to hear that Lindsay Smith thought that he was hot as a girl.

“Thanks, I guess.” I chuckled. No response. “So… I mean… was it just an observation?”

She rocked her head back, looking at the ceiling, not letting me see her face. My mouth seemed to fill the silence of its own accord.

“Or… is there something more to it?” I slowly walked around her, counterclockwise, to try and stand in front of her, but she rotated her body, keeping her back to me. Finding that she was now facing the mirror, she kept right on turning. I gave up when we had done a complete circle. “Okay, I won’t ask. We can…” I thought for a moment, taking a breath, then speaking rapidly. “We can tell them that you thought I was hot all right and, gee, what a hoot! I should wear this on Halloween, and wouldn’t that be a blast?” I tittered. “You know, we’ll make them think it’s… just a… joke.” And we’re back to that, damn it! “They don’t have to know anything that we don’t want them to.”

For several moments, she was silent. “Please don’t mention this to anyone, but—“

“Never.”

“-what I said was not just an observation. I’m gay. Do you know how much I hate my life?” She murmured. “I always feel so fake around my friends. Every day. Girls our age talk about boys all the time. It’s always, ‘Who do you like, Lindsay? Who would you fuck, Lindsay? Check out the ass on that beefcake, Lindsay!’ I always have to fake it. I hate that.” Her head flopped into her hands. “I feel like I’m lying to my friends all the time. What kind of a friend am I?” Suddenly, she looked at her watch and growled. “Augh! I’m missing my dance class!” She sighed. “All because my big fucking mouth got us locked in here.”

"Life is what happens while you’re making other plans, right?”* That scored a chuckle.

“Yeah, that’s for damned sure.”

Silence enveloped the room again, and unease caressed me with its fingers. She had just been honest with me about her sexuality, and I felt that I should reciprocate with candor of my own. Technically, she could have told me to mind my own business… and she isn’t asking about me… but then again, if I don’t tell her, then how am I ever going to know if she feels anything beyond just… physical attraction. Just then, I realized that I had been speaking like a girl the entire time she’d been present - and I knew just how to broach the subject. “By the way, uh… aren’t you wondering why I’ve been speaking with a girl’s voice the entire time we’ve been in here? Since we both know I don’t have to?”

“Now that you mention that, it does make a girl wonder.”

“I thought that, uh… if you heard a male voice… knowing that you’re locked in here with whoever it belongs to… well, hell, it would scare the shit out of me!” I may have been small, but my baritone voice was masculine - unlike the rest of me. The good news was that I had been blessed with a wide vocal range and my feminized voice had fooled several telemarketers into using feminine forms of address when I’d practiced it on them by pretending to be smashed as a form of petty revenge. I knew that Lindsay would be more comfortable hearing that voice emanate from me. “Of course, uh, that only begs another question, right?” I sighed, gazing at her back, knowing that she would soon put it together anyhow. “Why, exactly, did I care to learn how to speak this way so well? And grow my hair this long? What the hell, let’s throw that in there, too.”

She shrugged and nodded. “I wonder about that, too.”

With another sigh, I glanced at the door, pausing in the silence, before I continued. “Well, I seriously hope they don’t know this, because I would hate to get beaten up after they spread it around. That’s not a joke, in case you’re wondering. Anyway, uh… you know… I know how it feels to be fake every day. What you see is… not who I really am. I always feel like a complete forgery in my day-to-day life, and like you, I only do that to survive. When those girls dressed me up in here today… I had to fake hating that, too. But I didn’t hate it. I loved it - well except for dressing up here, at school, I mean. It’s far more risk than I care for. The truth is… this is not the first time I have dressed up as a girl. That would be the reason I grew my hair this long and… learned to speak like this. So that I could look and sound better as a girl… because I think I really am a girl. Please don’t ever spread this around, but… I’ve been dressing as a girl at home for a couple of months. So I really know what you mean—”

For a moment, she stood frozen, rigid. I knew she was stunned. Now, she slowly turned to face me, wiping a tear. “Please… please don’t mess with me like this.” I was astonished by that reaction.

“I’m not messing with you! Do you have any idea what would happen if anything I just told you got out? My parents might as well book me a slab at the morgue! Besides, I would never do that to you! Th-th-that would be unbelievably cruel!” My voice wavered. “God, if you only knew how I feel...” I trembled as I fought for the courage to speak my mind.

“About what?” her brow furrowed in puzzlement.

“About you. You’re an incredible actress. You’re a good person. You’re smart. You’re beautiful, too. And I care about you a lot. Way too much to ever hurt you.”

“No, you don’t. You’re just saying that to make me feel like less of an asshole.” She turned away.

“I am not just saying that! You are lovely. I never told you that before because... I never knew that you noticed me. I was surprised to hear that you know my name. I didn’t think you’d ever heard of me.”

Nothing. You still don’t know what to think? Very well.

“Seriously, I wish to hell that I were messing with you. My whole life would be so much easier. I don’t fit in out there.” I gestured toward the door. “Or haven’t you noticed me eating lunch alone every day?” She turned back to look at me, her eyes questioning me. “How many of those kids,” I glanced at the door, “do you think are my friends?” She turned to look at me with wide, emotional eyes. “Well, let’s just say that I could count them on my fingers even if you amputated them all. I don’t have any friends.” Slumping into the chair, tending my skirt, I raised my right foot off the ground, watching myself wiggle it around and enjoying the sensation of my pantyhose around my ankle. I felt better about myself this way. I really did look good, and that helped me to find the confidence I needed to continue. “The guys think I’m a pussy, you know… and the girls… just don’t seem to think much of me at all - except that they think I’m nice. A couple of them have told me so. Only they said it like it’s weird.” I shrugged, gazing at her eyes, lowering my foot.

“Other than that, they really don’t even notice me. Unless, uh,” I glanced at my sweater, “unless they want to dress me up and lock me in a closet with my crush.” Wow, she is shivering! I smiled warmly, looking into her eyes. “Oh, and uh, you may have noticed, by now, that I haven’t bothered to remove these pantyhose, which I could so easily do. That’s because I happen to love to wear hose. Hell, I probably don’t even fit in with women, even though I am one.” Her eyes scanned my face as though she was looking for an answer as to what to believe. “So you see, I’m not messing with you. I’m a girl. I know I am. Let’s face it! Who’s more confident?” I stood up and placed my hands on my hips. “That awkward scaredy-cat you see around campus who avoids being noticed? Or me? Er, well... I mean aside from the fact that I was hiding when you came in here?”

“You’re a lot more confident as a girl.” She marveled. “And that confidence makes you even hotter.”

“Thanks,” I smiled.

I could feel my nose starting to run and, remembering the box of tissues next to the mirror, I went over to grab one. Bringing the dispenser over to Lindsay, who had been “leaking,” I held it out to her without a word. She took several tissues, wiped her eyes, and blew her nose.

“So you’re really... a girl? You’re transgender?” she stammered, hesitant to believe it.

“Yes. I am. I’m just... working my way out of denial, really. You can call me Ellie while I’m dressed like this – short for Eleanor. That’s the name I picked out. But it isn’t just this,” I fingered my sweater top. “Guys make no sense to me. Whatsoever. I hate their loudness. I can’t understand their need to compete over everything. I can’t understand why they seem to have such a problem with just talking about things. I’ve always enjoyed just talking! And girls? I understand them right away.

“You know, uh… j-just the other day, Alison Lawton knocked on the guys’ locker room door.” I couldn’t help but shudder at the thought of the guys’ locker room and its foul stench. “I happened to be on my way out. She asked for one of the guys. She started talking about how one of the girls at the school where she’d played a field hockey game drove her stick into Alison’s crotch. I’m not sure how she expected me to react, but I replied with, ‘Awww, what a bitch!’ With real sympathy. No laughing, no joking. Does that...” I sighed. “Does that sound like a guy’s reaction to you?”

She snorted. “No, not hardly.”

“Right - and that’s why she was surprised that I reacted that way. She was definitely not expecting that.”

“Of course not. You know, she’s not normally that crude. She was just being that way because-

“-she expected a guy to find that funny because they always do? And she was only trying to speak the local language, if you will?”

“Yes!” Her eyes widened. “And she expected you to-“

“Laugh out loud and make some crude remark and make fun of her? Just
like the guys make fun of our periods and-“ 

Lindsay now burst out laughing. “Oh, my God, you really are a girl!”

My hand shot to my mouth as I realized what I had said. Our periods? Oh, Jesus!

“Yes, I already seem to think of myself as a girl, don’t I?” I plunked down in the chair, automatically smoothing my skirt and crossing my legs. Slowly, I looked back up at her. “So you believe me, then? That I’m not messing with you?”

She nodded, smiling. “Yes! I believe you - that you are a girl, anyway. You really don’t have anything to do with our being locked in here? You really do look hot, and it’s hard to imagine they did that so quickly.”

“Well, thanks, but this was all the work of the Witches of Eastwick who locked us in here. They all worked on me at once - and I really wish to hell I could do smoky eyes like Regina!”

“Yeah, did she do that? She is good!”

She giggled as I took her hands and looked at her. “I honestly have nothing to do with us being locked in here. You’re not the only one who has better things to do, you know! Like I said, this was the first time they ever paid attention to me! I’m not friends with them!” Pause. “You know, while they were dressing me up, I heard them mention wanting to catch you before you left. I wish I could have done something-“

“Why didn’t you?” Her smile faltered.

“My cellphone is in my locker - although, I’m actually glad for that. It’s safe from those girls.”

“Well it wouldn’t work in here, anyway. Mine didn’t!”

I took a breath. “Yeah. And I knew I couldn’t get past all three of them to run. They’re all bigger than either of us. They’re Amazons, for chrissakes! Besides, if I had tried, hell, they probably would have tied me to the chair or something! They were not going to take ‘no’ for an answer! I didn’t want to risk it! Do you know that they almost stripped me naked in here, before they dressed me up? And then they left me locked in here while they went to catch you. God, I really wished I could have warned you! I really didn’t want them to do anything to you, because, like I said, I care for you a lot.” I blushed. “But they had me dressed up in here, just waiting for you - unless - oh, my God!” I blurted with alarm. “What if they somehow know about me and that was part of why they dressed me up? Oh, God. If they know, they could out me.”

“How would they know?” She smiled, rubbing my hands.

“Well, if you saw the girl in me, maybe they did, too.”

“Well, did they say anything about having a present for you in here?”

“No, now that you mention it. They only said that to you.”

“Okay, then, the only present was for me,” she smiled, “so it seems that they dressed you up for my sake. Anyway,” she continued to rub my hands, “I think that we can help each other stay in the closet. I mean, uh...” She swallowed. “Since we do have feelings for each other...?”

I grinned in reassurance. “Oh, we do.”

She smiled brightly. “Good. Then, we’ll start dating immediately. I mean, because we want to; don’t get me wrong! I totally want to.” She blushed. “But unless we’re both ready to come out... and I am definitely not... well, as long as they think you’re a boy, they think I’m straight, right?”

“Right,” I nodded, smiling.

“It can work - and if people think I have a boyfriend,” She kissed me long and deep on the mouth. “I can do that whenever I want.”

“And they’ll think I’m a straight boy with his girlfriend.” I kissed her right back.

“Yeah.” We smiled at each other for a few minutes, until my smile began to fade.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I wondered aloud.

“You mean, that we will both have to come out sooner or later?”

“Yeah. If you want to see your new partner very often without a costume, that is. Plus, I was thinking of coming back to school as a girl in the fall.”

“Okay. Well, school is out for the summer in a couple of months. Can it wait until then?”

“Oh, I was hoping it would! It’s just that we will have to come out sometime, is all.” I smiled and kissed her again. “But not for a while.”

“Yeah. Not for a while.” She beamed.

“Feeling better?” I grinned.

“Much.” She kissed me once more. “I don’t even care about missing my dance class anymore, now that we’ve hooked up.”

“Glad you’re feeling better.”

“Thanks.” She smiled. “So. Where were you supposed to be?”

“Oh, I was going to go home and, uh… be myself,” I held up one side of the hem of my skirt. We both laughed. “Just not here! Although... it’s a kind of good thing it did happen here after all... considering...”

We kissed once more, before we heard footsteps approaching. We just had time to fix our lip gloss before the approaching footsteps unlocked the door and ran away.

“It’s unlocked! Let’s get out of here while we can!” Lindsay took my hand, grabbed her purse and led me toward the door. I breathed a sigh of relief as it opened as expected and we stepped out into the corridor, relieved to be free. I knew she wanted to give those girls some eloquent words, but they were just rounding the corner into the main corridor ahead.

“Hey, they still have my clothes!” I started.

“Hmmm. Have you been out and about as a girl before?”

“No,” I admitted, suddenly self-conscious.

“Hmmm. Well, let’s check in front of your locker in case they left your clothes there.”

“Of course. That would ensure that I would be forced to walk down the main corridor as a girl in order to get to them.” She squeezed my hand, perhaps with a twinge of sadness, and I squeezed her back. “Well, come on, then. There’s no other way.”

But Lindsay glanced at the entrance to the auditorium just ahead, on the left. It would let us in near the stage, and I knew what she was about to propose.

“Hmmm. We could cut through the auditorium; that will get us closer. From there, I can go the rest of the way and check.”

I smiled with gratitude, my head tilting to one side. But I need my stuff out of my locker... and I don’t suppose it would be wise to reveal my locker combination on the first date. Although... I can hear the kids in the main corridor from here, so unless I want to publicly come out right now...

“Okay, let’s give it a shot. If anyone comes, I’ll get down between the seats.”

We navigated across the empty auditorium and paused at the entrance on the opposite side, behind the back row of seats, where we parted ways and the door shushed closed behind her. I decided to move to one shadowy corner. From there, it would be easier to sneak between the seats if necessary. My locker was only a ten-second walk from there, and before long, the door opened. It was Lindsay - but I didn’t see a bag of clothes with her! Uh oh. I stepped out of the shadows to talk to her.

“You didn’t find them, did you?”

“No.” She looked troubled. “I guess we’ll have to wait until the kids are gone. The hallway is clearing out, but you know how it is. Sometimes, they’re still in a classroom or an office.”

“Yeah.”

Fresh out of ideas, we were silent for a few minutes, before Lindsay poked
her head out of the auditorium. “It looks clear!”

“Okay, then let me grab my backpack really fast!”

“Alright!” She grabbed my hand, and we hurried down the hall to my locker.

“You’re my lookout, now!” I smiled.

“Got it!” She smirked.

When we arrived at my locker, I spun the lock, but just as I opened the door, a note fell to the floor. I picked it up and looked at it.

“Still clear?”

“Still clear. Is that a note?”

“Yeah... it says to keep the clothes, as I look sexy in them. Signed, guess who?”

“Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Tweedlegoth?” she joked, making us both laugh. Feeling lucky to have a funny, pretty girl standing next to me, I placed my valuables in my navy backpack, which would have to double as a purse for a while. Just then, we heard a door open and voices emanate from it.

“Shit! Are they in the hall?” I hissed, quickly checking that I had the books I needed before zipping up my bag.

“No.”

“Good. How far away?”

“Seems to be Mr. Grantham’s history room, far end of the hall, past the auditorium.”

“Thank God! That’s plenty far off.” I shouldered my backpack, grateful that it was a navy, school backpack and therefore unisex. I shut my locker, padlocked it, grabbed Lindsay’s hand, and strode for the little-used far exit at the other end of the hall. “They can’t possibly recognize me from that far off! If anybody asks-”

“-then you were my friend Ellie who was dressed up because she was on her way to her aunt’s birthday party, if they must know!”

“Sounds perfect!”

A few more steps and we were outside. It was a new experience for me. I’m sure that my grip on Lindsay’s hand made her tendons complain to her about my nerves. However, since the alternative to leaving the building was to be outed in the school hallway, I didn’t even stop.

When we had put fifty yards between us and the school, I relaxed. “I think we made it!” I tittered.

“Yeah! We did! We’re good from here. I’m sorry we couldn’t find your clothes,” she lamented.

“Don’t worry about that. They probably hid them in a spare locker so I would be forced to walk up and down the main corridor to find them,” I mused, “but I can do that tomorrow, in safer attire.”

“You know, it wouldn’t surprise me if they tossed them in a dumpster somewhere off campus.”

“Nor me.” I sighed. “Oh well, at least I still have my cellphone, wallet, and keys. I can get into my house—”

Oh shit! I stopped in my tracks.

“Uh oh. Problem?” She froze, still holding my hand.

“Two of them, to be precise.”

“Parents?”

“Yup. They’re home until seven.”

“They don’t know about you, then?”

“No, not yet.”

“Are they expecting you?”

“Well, no. I often like to get out of the house on a Friday afternoon and since the school is open until seven, I can stop back at my locker to grab my backpack at around six and then walk home for dinner.”

“Okay, so you have until dinner?”

“Come to think of it, my folks are leaving at six to go to someone’s retirement party at my dad’s office, so I’m not exactly expected at all - though I should be home by the time my parents return from the party.”

“Well, that’s a help. Then you’ll come to my place until six. My parents are out until late,” she offered, with a smile.

“That would be great. I’d appreciate having somewhere to go. Especially with you!” With that, we started walking.

“I’m glad to be there for you. That’s what a girlfriend is for!”

A girlfriend! I have a girlfriend! Yes!!

“And you can count on me for the same!”

For a moment, we fell silent. That was when something came to mind that needed saying.

“So much for waiting for me to come out until summer, huh?” I glanced at my black, polka-dot, nylon legs as we walked. “Well, I guess I haven’t actually come out to anyone but you.”

“That’s right. And you hardly have a choice, do you? We’ll just have to bend the rules this time. Anyway, you do have a really marvelous excuse if anyone bleats about it.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I giggled. “Well, what are your plans now?”

“I was just going to go home and fix myself some dinner.”

“You’re not doing anything with your friends?”

“You mean the ones I’m always deceiving into thinking I’m straight? I’m in no mood to be a faker tonight! Besides, I’d rather be with you!” She smiled.

“If I had friends, I would choose you over them right now, myself.” I grinned.

THE END

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The Punishment

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

Mature Subjects (pg15)

Publication:

17,500 < Novella < 40,000 words

Genre:

Transgender

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

What had I gotten myself into? The phone was ringing and I knew it was my friend Keri. As usual, I ran down the hall from my bedroom at one end of the house to the phone in the guest bedroom at the other end. The sound of my footfalls was deceptively loud on the oriental “runner” style rug that adorned the dark-stained hardwood floor. I always ran right past my sister Tara’s bedroom door on my way to answer the phone.
She had just picked up a large laundry basket of clothes to take them downstairs to the laundry room. She heard me coming down the hall but misjudged how far away I was and thought she could hurry past before I got to her door. She darted out of her room and I slammed into her, knocking her clear off her feet and sending her basket of clothes all over the place. I decided to help my sister up instead of answering the phone. Keri would have no trouble understanding that decision. I apologized to Tara immediately and profusely, making sure she was all right
and helping her pick up her clothes. Tara was okay, but she had a couple of bruises and was shaken up a bit. She wasn’t angry with me because she knew it had been a silly accident and she knew that she could have waited for me to pass. She even smirked at me. She knew how much I liked Keri and she knew that she had run clear across the house from the living room in front to the kitchen in back to answer the phone for a boy herself.

Our mother stormed onto the scene to see what the commotion was. When she saw Tara’s bruises she had a fit.
“What is going on?? Tara, what happened to you??”
“It was just a silly accident, Mom. I’m all right.”
“What happened here? Kelly, explain yourself this instant!”
“I was running down the hall to answer the phone because I knew it was Keri. Tara came out of her room right as I was running past and I knocked her over. I’m sorry, Tara.”
“It’s okay, Kelly. It was just an accident. I could have waited for you to pass, you know!”
“Oh, Kelly! What I have told you about running around the house? You’re lucky you didn’t split her head open.”
“Mom, I’m sorry, really it was just a case of bad luck--”
“Bad luck, my butt! If you weren’t shooting down the hall you wouldn’t have knocked your sister over. You’re always running around the house knocking things over! Last week it was the lamp in the living room. Yesterday it was the vase in the hall. Now your sister’s all bruised —- and just look at Tara’s tights! They’ve got a big run in them; they’re ruined!”
“I’m sorry, Tara.”
“Honestly, Kelly, I don’t know what to do with you!”

From out of nowhere, a wry smile took over her face.

“Actually, Kelly, I know exactly what to do with you.”

Whoa, that can’t be good!

“I know what will make you slow down -- and your shoulder length hair is perfect for what I have I mind!”

Tara and I exchanged puzzled looks.

“Tara, honey, take your laundry downstairs now, please.”
“Okay, Mom.”

Ever since I had begun refusing haircuts five years earlier, Mom had warned me that I could get into trouble with bullies for growing my hair so long. Ironically, it wasn’t bullies I had to worry about!

Mom marched me up to my other sister Chrissy’s room. Tara was wondering what the hell mom was doing. She hurried down to the laundry room, dropped her laundry basket on the floor, and scurried back upstairs to find out what Mom was going to do to me. Chrissy was in her room reading a non-fiction book about astronomy and looked up to see Mom dragging me into her room, followed very shortly by Tara. Chrissy saw that she was sporting a couple of angry bruises and a humongous run in her tights.

“What’s happening, you guys?”

I tried to defend myself.

“It was an accident--”
“Oh, stop it, just stop it! Tara got hurt because you went running down the hall again, pure and simple. I’ve had enough and I’m going to put a stop to it for good!”

Mother strode over to Chrissy’s closet and began looking through her dresses.

“Mom? What are you doing in Chrissy’s closet?”
“That will be very clear in a moment, Tara.”

Chrissy put a hand over her mouth to conceal her giggle. She knew what Mom was going to do. She also knew something that Mom and Tara didn’t.

* * * * *

Two years earlier, she had walked into her room and found me dressed as a girl from head to toe wearing everything but makeup and nail polish. I was wearing her white dress with the pretty lavender floral pattern on it. I was wearing her white nylon tights and her white, patent leather flats. I had braided my long hair in twin braids and I was wearing her gold locket.
I didn’t hear her come in. She was stunned and stood rooted to the spot, watching me admire myself in the mirror, turning this way and that. I was in the middle of a 360 degree turn when I saw her there and stopped in my tracks. I gasped and ran over to close the door behind her.

“Um… hi, Chrissy, um…” At that point I suffered verbal diarrhea. “I’m sorry I came in here and borrowed your pretty clothes without your permission. I’m so embarrassed! I hope you won’t tell anyone about this. You won’t, will you? I will die if you tell anyone. I’ll never be able to live it down--”

Now Chrissy was beginning to relax… and giggle.

“I won’t tell. I’m just… well, very surprised. Boys don’t usually like wearing girls’ clothes. I knew your hair looked girly, but… wow, you’re even wearing tights!”
“Yes, I’m wearing tights, too.”
“How long have you liked wearing girls’ clothes?”
“A few years now. I started out just putting on a pair of your tights. A couple of years after that, your dresses and panties and other stuff started fitting, too.”

She began to gently taunt me.

“You’re definitely wearing my bra. Are you wearing my panties, too?”

I looked down at my feet.

“Yes. I’m wearing panties, too.”
“How come you like to dress as a girl?”
“I don’t know, really. I just like girls a lot. I love everything about girls from tights to braids to Mary Janes to dresses to they way they’re not afraid to talk about their feelings and more. I think it’s wonderful they can be so strong and brave on the inside but still so soft and pretty on the outside. It’s like you have the best of both worlds. Boys could never do that —- but I want to. I want to be strong on the inside and pretty on the outside.”

As a girl, she was flattered to hear those things and she couldn’t help smiling.

“I didn’t know you thought so well of the other gender. I am impressed. Well, you look very pretty in my dress. It’s okay with me if you like to dress as a girl. I mean, it’s not like you’re on drugs or… robbing liquor stores or something.”
“That’s what I figured, too. It could be a lot worse.”
“Well, you can stay in here with me and keep the clothes on if you want to, but Mom’s coming upstairs soon to take a nap, so be careful.”
“Thank you so much for accepting me the way I am, Chrissy. You have no idea what this means to me.”

I gave her a big hug and it made her giggle.

“You’re welcome.”

Suddenly, we heard Mom’s voice through the door, calling Kelly's name.

“Oh, shit!”

We both looked over at the door. I grabbed my clothes and ran into my sister’s bathroom. Mom opened Chrissy’s door right after I shut the bathroom door. I changed back into my clothes as fast as I could and put my hair back in its usual pony tail.

“Chrissy, have you seen Kelly? He was supposed to take out the trash.”
“Oh, yeah, he’s in my bathroom. I took his band-aids this morning and he was looking for them.”
“Why has he got the door closed?”

She gave her mother a how-the-fuck-should-I-know look.

“I don’t know. Maybe he had to go?”

I heard the conversation while I was dressing myself and almost laughed. I hung up Chrissy’s dress on the back of the door and put her tights and underwear in her hamper. I found a pin in Chrissy’s bathroom and used it to prick my finger. Then I put a band-aid on it. I flushed the toilet and I walked out of the bathroom as calmly as I could with my box of band-aids.

“Hi, Mom. I’ll do the trash now.”
“What happened to your finger?”
“I pricked it with a pin when I was picking it up off of the hall floor so that nobody would step on it. That’s why I was looking for my band-aids.”
“Where did you put the pin?”
“I have it right here.”

I handed it over to Mom.

“All right, I’ll dispose of that. Will you take care of the trash for me, please?”
“Sure, mom!”
“Thank you, sweetie.”

Mom turned around and left to take her nap. When she was gone, I thanked Chrissy for covering for me.

“Would you like to put my clothes back on until she wakes up? It’s okay with me. I really like seeing you as a girl!”
“I would like to… but I think I’ve had enough close calls for one day.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”

She looked a bit disappointed.

“I’ll tell you what, Chrissy. Next time I want to get dressed up, I’ll come and get you and we can have some fun. It really won’t be very long until I do.”

We began tittering and her face brightened up.

“That would be fun! Could I put makeup and nail polish on you -- and do your hair?”
“Sure. I’d like that!”

True to my word, I did come and get Chrissy whenever I wanted to be dressed as a girl and she was always very happy to help me.

* * * * *

Tara and Chrissy and I stared with wide open eyes as my mother pulled out Chrissy’s white, cotton, floral knee-length jumper dress with the form-fitting bodice. After she laid it on Chrissy’s bed, Mom got out a white turtleneck and Chrissy’s black leather Mary Janes with a full-width two-inch heel. Mom laid those clothes on the bed and then opened Chrissy’s dresser drawer. She pulled out a white satin bra, matching panties and a pair of white, semi-sheer girls’ tights. Tara’s eyes were the size of small pizzas and Chrissy was struggling hard not to laugh since she knew that Mom’s ‘punishment’ would be no such thing to me! Tara was shocked that her mother was making me dress up as a girl even though Tara had never even been angry with me —- and had been partly at fault!

“All right, young lady. Strip off your boy clothes!”

I put on my best sulking face to hide my enjoyment of Mom’s “punishment”.

“Okay. Um, girls, would you mind turning around, please?”

Slowly, they turned around so I could get changed. I took off all of my boy clothes and put on the panties and the bra. Mom made me sit down at Chrissy’s vanity.

“Tara, honey, get out Chrissy’s pretty pink nail polish and start putting it on your new sister.”
“Okay, Mom.”

Tara hated the idea of doing something so embarrassing to me over a stupid accident —- since she didn’t know how much I loved being turned into a girl -- but she decided it would be most unwise to question her mother’s orders. She got out the nail polish and did my nails while Mom French braided my hair in a beautiful braid down my neck and finished it off with a white ribbon.

“There! While your nail polish is drying, I’ll do your make up for you. Tara will you use the blow-dryer on Michelle’s toes, please?”

"Michelle?" Tara wondered aloud.

"Yes. That's what I would have named her if she'd been born a girl. Start with the polish, now!"

“Okay, Mom.”

She put pink lipstick on me that was pretty much the same color as my natural lips. Then she touched me up with a bit of eyeliner and mascara.

“That’s all the make up Chrissy and Tara get to wear so that’s all you’re getting, too.”
“Oh, yeah, I’m sure he’s really, really bummed out that he can’t wear more makeup than his sisters!”
“Tara, please don’t start.”
“Fine, Mom.”
“Is the nail polish dry?”
“Yeah, it’s dry.”
“Okay, Michelle, time to put your tights on!”

Mom came over and slipped the tights on one leg to just past my knee and did the same with the other leg.

“Stand up!”
“Okay.”

I stood up obediently for her as she pulled the tights all the way up to my waist. I loved tights more than any other type of girls’ clothing. To me, tights were the ultimate female thing to wear. They felt so good —- I wished that I didn’t have to suppress my feelings!

“Next is the turtleneck. Hold your arms up, please!”

I held them up dutifully as she gently pulled the shirt over my head. She smoothed it out nicely before picking up the dress.

“Arms up again, please!”

Again I held up my arms without answering her. I was going to enjoy my punishment very much —- if she didn’t make me leave the house! She slipped the dress on over the turtleneck and zipped it up. The only thing missing were the shoes and maybe some jewelry.

“I’ll help you put your Mary Janes on.”
“Okay, Mom.”

She strapped the shoes on me and did the buckles. I could have done that easily but I wasn’t ready for her to know about Michelle. She went over to Chrissy’s vanity and got a gold ring with three very small sapphires on it, a pair of small hoop clip-on earrings and the very same gold locket I’d been wearing when Chrissy caught me wearing her clothes.

After she was done, she walked me over to Chrissy’s full length mirror to see myself. I looked very pretty. I felt good being dressed as a girl, but I didn’t show it; I didn’t want Mom to catch on.

“All right, girls. Get in the car. We’re going shopping.”

Now my face went white. I had never left the house dressed as a girl. I had wanted to, but I had never been able to because I was always too nervous. I had thought about going out in the back yard on a couple of occasions while Mom was out, but as soon as I got near the back door, I would start trembling and lose my nerve completely. Tara made a last ditch attempt to save me from further embarrassment.

“Mom, for god sake, it was just a stupid accident. Why are you doing this?”
“You heard what I said about that ‘accident’.”
“But, Mom--”
“Tara, Go put on another pair of tights, please.”

Tara sighed with resignation.

“All right.”

Tara did as she was asked while we walked downstairs to get our coats. She chose a pair of white tights to show her support for me. She caught up with us while we were putting our coats on and grabbed her own. As Mom put her hand on the front door to open it, she had another thought.
“You know, we'd better pretend that Michelle is your cousin while we're out - and later on, too. It's just a safer cover story if we need one.”

"Okay," we chorused in response.

When Mom turned her back to open the front door, Tara looked over at me and whispered to me.

“This sucks, Kelly!”
“It’s okay, Tara.”

We stopped whispering just in time to prevent Mom from catching us.

“Let’s go, girls!”

I liked being referred to as a girl — at least in the safety of our house -- but we were going out in public! I began trembling again as we stepped outside and Mom locked the door behind us. I did not want to do this, but I knew I had no choice. All I could do was take some deep breaths and try to relax. Chrissy and Tara held my hands as we walked out to the car at the curb. They could tell how nervous I was by the way I was gripping their hands. I looked at my feet all the way to the car, too nervous to look around in case someone was out there staring at me.
The drive was uneventful. When we arrived, we had to park about fifty feet from the edge of the lot and I knew that I would have to walk across the lot with my family dressed as a girl and completely out in the open. When we got out of the car, my mouth began to go dry and my heart rate sped up. Chrissy and Tara both hooked an arm in mine and we walked together across the parking lot.

It was a single-level mall with outdoor corridors. Only the stores themselves were indoors. It was a bit of a long walk to the other end of the corridor and all of the people along the way could see me dressed as a girl. I felt like I was being paraded through the entire mall. I tried not to look at anyone and I prayed they wouldn’t look at me. I wished that I could just go home.

We walked into the department store at the far end of the mall and headed to the girls’ department. They had everything from skirts to swimsuits to underwear and everything in between. We walked over to an area full of skirts and tops and Mom picked out a bunch of things for me to try on. We walked into the ladies’ changing rooms and she had me try them on. I tried on a bunch of skirts and tops and Mom made me model them for my sisters.

When we’d picked out eight skirts and eight tops, we rang them up. My mother told the cashier they were for me. I smiled like a girl having fun, following the advice that Chrissy had surreptitiously given me on the way out of the changing rooms. I really wasn’t feeling it. I would just have to hope I looked convincing enough.

Mom led us onward to the dress section. She picked out two very pretty dresses and marched me to the ladies’ changing rooms again to try them on. She handed me a nylon full slip to put on, so I took off my jumper and turtleneck and put on the slip. Then she handed me a dress. This one was velvet, short sleeved, and burgundy. It had a strip of velvet with flowers on it across the waist and a similar strip around the collar. I put it on over the slip. It fit nicely. The dress and slip went down to about my calves. I was glad Mom was good at judging the sizes for me because I wanted to go home as soon as possible. I couldn’t help feeling nervous. Nobody had noticed me on the way in but I still didn’t like being dressed as a girl in public.

“Ooh! That’s pretty!”
“Chrissy’s right — I love it, too!”
“Good. That makes three of us.”
“How about you, Michelle? Do you like your new dress?”

I could hear other girls in there chatting about the clothes they were trying on and I realized that my silence could be heard as loudly as my voice. I decided I’d better play along.

“Yes, Mom. I love it!”
“That’s my girl!”
“Try this one now.”

I took off the pretty burgundy velvet dress and put on another formal dress with an emerald green, velvet bodice and emerald green organza sleeves and skirt. The skirt was about the same length as the last dress.

“Gee, Michelle, you sure are lucky to be getting all these pretty clothes.”

Again, I decided to play the part to convince every one else in the dressing room, just in case.

“I sure am, Chrissy! Thank you so much, Mom!”

I wasn’t smiling, but I made myself sound as though I were.

We left the dressing rooms again, dresses and slip in hand, and rang them up. My mother couldn’t help telling the cashiers she was buying the dresses for me. At least she wasn’t telling them that I was a boy in a dress!

Now we went to the shoe department. They had various shoes on sale, and Mom picked out four pairs in various colors to go with my outfits, including black, canvas Mary Janes with flowers embroidered on the toes. She also picked out a pair of black, leather, heeled Mary Janes similar to the ones I was wearing and a pair of black velvet heeled shoes that were a more open variation of Mary Janes with just the sole between the heel and toe. I tried all the shoes on until we found my size in everything. We rang everything up after telling two more cashiers the shoes were for me.
Mom herded us over to the lingerie section and picked out eight pairs of bras and panties, eight pairs of nylon semi-sheer tights, two pairs of pantyhose, eight nightgowns, a bathrobe and a pair of slippers. The bathrobe and slippers were pink, but everything else was in various colors. We rang it all up again, and oh yes it was all for me.

Next, we picked up a gold necklace with a small butterfly pendant on it, gold hoop clip-on earrings similar to Chrissy’s, a gold ring and a faux pearl set with earrings, necklace and bracelet.

It was finally time to go home. We walked back down the length of the open corridor. Halfway to the parking lot, I saw a familiar face coming towards me. It was Keri! Oh no! She’s going to see me dressed as a girl! She’s not going to want to have anything to do with me now! I really hope she doesn’t tell anyone. Chrissy and Tara looked at each other, silently reminding each other that I was their cousin Michelle. Keri began to wave at us as she approached.

As she came closer, I wondered if she would be convinced if I pretended not to know her. Then I decided that I didn’t want to hide anything from her. She was such a nice girl that I couldn’t bear to lie to her. Besides, I wanted to say hello to her even if I was dressed as a girl. I liked her enough to risk it.

I gave her my usual smile, instantly revealing myself to her. Keri stopped dead in her tracks. She was shocked to see me dressed up as a girl. She wondered what the hell was going on. She knew my smile well enough that she could tell I was rather uncomfortable being dressed as a girl in public. She figured that I was probably very embarrassed. She decided to save me from more of the same and kept her composure as she took the last couple of steps towards us.

“Hi, everyone!”
“Hi, Keri. It’s nice to see you.”
“So, er…”

Keri didn’t know what name to use and Chrissy decided that she’d better introduce Michelle to Keri to make us all look convincing.

“Oh, you haven’t met! Keri, this is our cousin Michelle. Michelle, this is our friend Keri.”
“Hi, Michelle. It’s nice to meet you. So, what’s… going on? Where’s Kelly?”
“Would you like to tell her, dear?”

Thanks a lot, Mom! Damn you!

“Yes, I’ll tell her.”

I turned to Keri to explain myself.

“Kelly is being punished for knocking over his sister while running to answer the phone when you tried to call earlier today. That’s where Tara got her bruises, the poor girl. Anyway, Kelly was obviously excited to talk to you, but he decided he should help his sister up and help her pick up all the clothes that she had been carrying.”

Keri was touched that I’d been so eager to hear from her and impressed that I’d chosen to help my sister up instead of just leaving her to answer the phone. Mom, however, wanted to make sure I didn’t get away with leaving anything out.

“And?”

I figured that a girl my age would get a kick out of her male cousin getting in trouble and I put a smug look on my face.

“Before that, he accidentally broke a few things around the house because he’s always running around — usually to answer the phone when you call. Anyway, he’s in pretty big trouble. I bet he regrets it now!”
“I see.”

Keri knew that she wouldn’t have recognized me if I hadn’t given her my usual puppy smile and thus I could have kept my embarrassing punishment secret from her. Yet, I had revealed myself to her, and that told her that I must trust her with my secret. She was flattered and impressed and gave me a nice smile… but carefully, considering the circumstances. Her smile had the kind of subtlety one could only see from up close.

“I guess Kelly will have to be more careful. He sure is a brave guy, by the way.”

I thought she was talking about the fact that I was dressed as a girl in public and didn’t want to dishonestly take credit where I didn’t deserve any. It wasn’t my idea to be doing this.

“Well, um, it wasn’t a choice.”
“I didn’t ever have to know. That was a choice.”
“I guess so.”
“I know so.”

She gave me another subtle smile that melted my heart. Well, um… you probably need to be going. I guess I’ll see you all later.” She looked directly at me.

“It was nice to see you!”
“It was nice to see you too, Keri!”

She surreptitiously gave my arm a reassuring squeeze as she walked past me. As we continued on our way, I turned around to look at her and she smiled at me. I smiled back at her.

As we walked back across the parking lot, I was feeling a strange mix of pleasant light-headedness and nervous tension. I was very worried that someone would know that I was a boy in a dress —- and tights.

Finally we made it to the car and got in. During the ride home, Mom laid down the rules of my punishment.

“All right, Michelle. Today is Wednesday. From now until Monday morning, you are a girl. Everyone is to call you Michelle until your punishment is over. If you behave yourself until then, you can go back to being a boy. If you damage any of your new clothes, you will stay a girl for another week. Meanwhile, you will wear a pair of those tights I bought you each day. Those semi-sheer tights get runs in them if you bump into things, so if you want to avoid further punishment then you will just have to slow down. Do you have any questions?”
“No, Mom.”
“Good. I hope you’ll learn from your punishment. I got the idea when I saw Tara’s ruined tights after you went running around and knocked her over. That was when I realized that I could teach you to be more careful by making you wear tights.”

Whoa. Talk about Karma! Tara wasn’t satisfied.

“Why not just make her wear tights under a pair of her shorts? Why does she have to be completely dressed up?”
“I thought she might cheat by wearing jeans over her tights. I wanted to be sure that’s not a possibility. The best way to prevent cheating and ensure that she’ll stop running around is to turn her into a girl for a few days. Besides, having her dressed up completely may well come in handy in case anyone stops by unexpectedly.”

When we got home, Mom told me to put away my new clothes in the extra closet in my room. The extra closet had once been an open alcove, but evidently some previous owners had a lot of clothes and decided to convert it into a second walk-in closet. I really didn’t know why Mom was making me put my clothes in the extra closet. My main closet still had room to spare. That puzzled me, but I supposed that she was simply keeping the boys’ clothes and girls’ clothes separate. I left it at that and did as she asked.

A couple of minutes later, I had put away everything except the lingerie and robe when Mom came into my room dressed in jeans and a cable knit sweater. She was followed by Chrissy and Tara, who just had to find out what else Mom was going to do to me. Mom had brought up all of my boy clothes from the laundry room. She walked over to my walk-in closet and placed them inside. Next, she walked over to my dresser and transferred its entire contents into the closet, drawer by drawer. After a quick check under my bed, she locked the closet door and put the key in her pocket. All of my boy clothes were now locked in my walk-in closet and I didn’t have the key! This was the first time I’d ever been truly stuck as a girl.

“Remember, you’re a girl until Monday — if you behave. Oh, and one more thing. If I catch you borrowing boys’ clothes from anyone, you’ll be a girl for a month. Understood?”
“Yes, Mom.”

Aw, shit! I hope to hell nothing goes wrong. I can’t stay in the house for a whole month and I really don’t want to go out in public dressed like a girl again!

“Good. I’ll be downstairs.”

Mom left the room. None of us spoke. I was happy to wear girls’ clothes for the next few days. Now that I was home, I was enjoying being a girl again. In fact, I was very excited to have such a great excuse to be a girl for a while, as long as I didn’t have to leave the house dressed as a girl. I fingered my new clothes and smiled. I had been too scared to feel anything for them at the store but at home I was relaxed and I could enjoy browsing through them. I was very happy to have them!

I decided to change because I wanted to wear my new clothes and that way I could return Chrissy’s stuff to her. I got out a floral pair of panties and the white bra that matched.

“Girls, would you mind waiting in the hall while I change?”
“Not at all.”
“Thanks.”

My sisters went out into the hall and closed the door behind them. I removed Chrissy’s clothes and donned my new underwear. I slipped on a pair of my own white tights, smiling at my pretty painted toes, and pulled on my denim skirt. I completed my outfit with a floral cotton t-shirt with a scoop neck and long sleeves. Then I put on my black canvas Mary Janes with the flowers embroidered on the toes. Finally, I traded Chrissy’s jewelry for my own.

I opened the door, let my sisters back into my room and returned Chrissy’s things to her. She went to her room, plopped her things on her bed, and returned to my room. The door to the extra closet was still wide open and I looked at myself in the full length mirror mounted on the inside of the door. Tara noticed that I was smiling at my reflection, adjusting my hair.

“Michelle, why are you smiling?”

I glanced at the door to try to see if Mom was within earshot, but I wasn’t sure, so I looked back at Tara and silently winked at her instead. Chrissy had to fight hard not to bust out laughing lest Mom hear her. Tara turned to look at her and understood that Chrissy and I clearly knew something that Tara and Mom didn’t. Tara looked back at me and saw that I was still smiling. She wondered if I liked being dressed up as a girl and looked at Chrissy with a questioning expression on her face. Chrissy simply nodded her head, giggling softly. Until that moment, Tara had no idea that I was actually enjoying being a girl!

Tara looked back at me and saw my French braided hair. Now that she knew I loved dressing up as a girl, she realized that was the reason I’d grown my hair as long as a girl. But I had grown my hair years ago. Tara remembered how steadily I had been walking in Chrissy’s heels while we were at the mall. Nobody walks steadily in heels the first time they put them on. She knew that I had worn heels many times before.

“You’ve been dressed as a girl before, haven’t you?” Tara whispered to keep her voice down.

I nodded my head and smiled at her. Her mouth opened wide and then she, too, had to fight to keep herself from laughing out loud. She was very surprised to learn that her brother was an avid cross-dresser, but she was relieved that my punishment wasn’t torture after all. As long as that was the case, she found the whole thing hysterically funny!

Tara needed to know more, and she closed the door to keep our conversation private.

“Does Mom know?”
“No. Just us —- and probably Keri.” I sighed with resignation.
“Chrissy, how long have you known?”
“I’ve known for a couple of years now -- ever since I caught Michelle dressed up as a pretty girl.”
“Really? That’s so funny!”
“Yes. You should have seen her face when she saw me standing there staring at her. Actually, you did when Mom told us to get in the car. That was the one!”

We were all starting to laugh. I explained to Tara everything I’d told Chrissy. Tara liked my reasons as much as Chrissy had.
The phone interrupted our bonding session. Mom called up the stairs to tell me who it was.

“Michelle, darling, it’s Keri on the phone!”
“Thanks, Mom!”

My sisters headed downstairs while I hurried over to the phone again, but this time I wasn’t running. I didn’t dare damage my new clothes. The sooner my punishment was over, the lower the likelihood that I would have to leave the house dressed as a girl. I just couldn’t go out in public again dressed as a girl. The last time I did that, I ran into Keri! Sure, she was nice about it, but the next time I might be found out by someone not quite as nice as Keri —- someone who might tell everyone at school —- or worse! I grabbed the phone, excited to talk to Keri.

“Hi, Keri! It’s good to hear from you. Were you surprised to meet Michelle?”
“Oh my god, yes! I was shocked to see you, but I loved it, too! I just wish I’d gotten more of a look at you — not to mention a picture!”
“Yeah, I bet you do!”
“That’s why I’m calling, actually. I’d love it if Michelle would come over and visit with me and let me take a few pictures of her.”

Pictures? Holy hell no!

“Well, um… you know that I’d be glad to visit you, but Michelle still feels too nervous to leave the house or have her picture taken. She’s afraid her secret would come out. If she’d had a choice earlier today, she wouldn’t have been out then either.”
“I really want to see Michelle again. She was so sweet. We’ll be alone here and I promise not to tell anyone or show anyone the pictures!”
“You really like Michelle the way she is?”
“Yes, I really do! She’s great!”
“Wow… Michelle doesn’t think she can do this… and with pictures…”
“Well, she’s just going to have to. If she doesn’t, so help me God, everyone at school will know who she is.”

Oh, God, anything but that!

“You wouldn’t really do that, would you?”
“Wouldn’t I?”

I was almost certain that Keri was too nice to do anything like out me to the whole school, and she probably just wanted to have some fun seeing me dressed as a girl again, but sometimes people can surprise you in nasty ways. Well, we would be alone at her house and I didn’t think that she would really tell. She liked Michelle… and I liked her.

“Well… okay. For you, Michelle will come for a visit. What time would you like her to come?”
“Are you available now?”
“Yeah, sure. Michelle is on her way.”
“Great! I’m so glad you’re coming! I’ll see you soon!”
“See you soon.”

I hung up the phone and walked downstairs to find Mom. She was in the family room chatting with my sisters.

“Hi, everyone.”
“Michelle, darling, look at you! You look beautiful!”

I tilted my head sheepishly.

“Thank you.”
“So what can we do for you, dear girl?”
“Keri has invited Michelle over for a visit and I wanted to check with you to see if I’m allowed to walk over to her house in my boy clothes.”
“Absolutely not. You’re a girl until Monday. If you’re going to Keri’s house then you’re going as a girl. Personally, I think you should go anyway. You look wonderful.”
“Okay, Mom. Well, I guess I’m on my way.”
“Remember the rules. Damage your clothes and you’ll be a girl for another week. Borrow boy clothes from anyone and you’ll be a girl for a month.”
“I remember the rules, believe me.”
“All right, honey, you’d better be on your way. You wouldn’t want to keep that gorgeous girl Keri waiting, now would you?”
“No, I wouldn’t. I’ll be back for dinner, I guess.”
“Okay, see you then!”
“Michelle, wait, let me look at your makeup!”
“Oh, thanks, Chrissy!”
“Sure. We girls have got to stick together! Come on!”

A couple of minutes later, my makeup was fresh and I was ready to go. I thanked Chrissy again and headed for the door.

“Bye, everyone!”
“Bye, Michelle!”

I stood at the front door, steeling myself to open it. I still didn’t want to be seen in public dressed as a girl… or did I? I had felt a strange relief when Mom denied me the use of my boy clothes. I realized that it wasn’t being dressed as a girl in public that scared me. I did want to be a girl in public. It was the idea of being found out that filled my stomach with butterflies. Still, I was so nervous that I considered canceling. However, the thought of seeing Keri again was enough to overpower my nerves. I took a slow, deep breath, opened the front door, and stepped outside.

It was a nice, sunny day but I still couldn’t relax. I hoped that nobody would recognize me. A few cars passed by as well as a few joggers and people out for a walk with their dogs. I always got tense as someone passed but I made myself smile as they did. I wished I could stop being nervous because I knew I would be enjoying the walk if not for that, but I was as nervous as ever.

I walked up to Keri’s door and rang the bell. She answered almost immediately.

“Wow, Michelle, you look so cute! I love your outfit! Is that yours?”
“Thanks, Keri. Yes, it’s one of my new outfits we bought at the mall.”

I blushed as I walked inside and she closed the door. I felt better right away, but I dreaded the thought of Keri taking pictures of me dressed as a girl, and I still could not relax.

“Wow. You have to go through all of this for a stupid accident and a couple of broken things? Whatever happened to taking it out of your allowance?”
“Yeah and you know what else? My mom had me put my new girl clothes in my extra closet. Then she put all of my boy clothes in my main closet, locked the door and kept the key! There’s no other key, either! Until Monday morning, I am a girl named Michelle; no exceptions. I have to wear tights every day during the punishment and if I damage any of my clothes I’ll be a girl for another week. If I borrow any boy clothes it’ll be another month. Talk about overkill.”
“Oh, Jesus! Well, let’s grab some Diet Coke and head up to my room.”
“That sounds good to me.”

She couldn’t get over how cute I looked. She loved seeing my legs in tights as much as I loved wearing them. She seemed quite comfortable with the idea of a boy being dressed as a girl and I decided I could trust her with the rest of my secret. I confided everything to her that I’d told Chrissy and then Tara.

“Wow. You really do like being a girl, don’t you?”
“Yes, I really do. Listen, Keri, is there any way you might reconsider taking pictures of me dressed as a girl? It’s honestly not that I don’t trust you. It’s that accidents do happen —- as I found out the hard way —- and sometimes things get out that weren’t intended to.”
“I’m sorry, Michelle. I hope you don’t think I’m a bitch, but I just can’t resist.”
“I don’t think you’re a bitch.”
“Thanks for saying so. Don’t worry, Michelle. These will live in a hidden folder on my hard drive. I promise not to share them with anyone outside this room without your permission.”

My instincts told me she could be trusted.

“Okay. You can take some pictures of me.”
“Thank you!”

She smiled at me and gave me a hug! She got out her camera and took ten pictures of me in different poses. At one point, she had me walk outside into her back yard so that she could take some pictures out there as well. My heart was pounding the whole time. After she was done, we went back upstairs to her room and she loaded the new pictures onto her computer so that we could look at them. I loved the way I looked, but I couldn’t feel comfortable knowing that these pictures existed.

Keri showed me some of her favorite dresses and even had me try on some of them. She put my hair up in a formal style and we played dress-up for a good hour. Eventually, she began dressing up, too. I was wearing a pretty salmon party dress and Keri was wearing a medium blue one that matched her eyes. She looked absolutely gorgeous. She decided to show me a black, strapless sequined number and removed the blue one right in front of me, so that she was in her bra and panties. She forgot that the black dress had a built-in bra and she was going to have to remove the bra she was wearing to put it on. She had just started walking to the bathroom to finish changing when her mother walked in on us.

“Keri, I’m home, sweetheart. Dinner’s in an hour.”

My face paled as Keri whirled around to talk to her mother.

“Hi, Mom! Weren’t you supposed to be out late tonight?”

I forced myself to smile. Keri had to convince her mother that I was a girl and she had an idea how to do it. There are certain things that a girl’s mother wouldn’t dream of her doing in front of a boy. Keri took off her bra and put the dress on right where she stood as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I had looked over to see what she was doing, and when I realized what she was up to I looked back at her mother so I wouldn’t get turned on. I hoped like hell that her mother would think we were just a couple of girls playing dress up.

“Yes, some of my plans fell through at the last minute.”
“Oh, okay.”
“I see you’ve got someone over! Hello, there!”
“Hello.”
“Mom, this is my new friend Michelle.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, Michelle.”
“It’s nice to meet you too.”
“Well, you’re certainly welcome to stay for dinner if you’d like! Why don’t you two girls talk it over?”
“Thanks, Mom! We will!”
“Yes, thanks for inviting me!”
“You’re very welcome!”

Keri’s mother left the room and Keri gently closed the door.

“Crap! I’m so sorry, Michelle. She wasn’t supposed to be back until midnight. If I had known she was coming home early I would have suggested some other time, I swear! I can’t believe we didn’t hear her come in -- and I promised we’d be alone. I’m really sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, Keri. This doesn’t count as a broken promise. There’s no possible way for you to foresee that kind of a change in your mother’s plans without her telling you —- which she clearly didn’t. Besides, I do enjoy being a girl, at least in the privacy of my house or yours…” I trailed off for a moment. “Do you think I’m convincing as a girl?”
“Yes, I do.”
“You do, really?”
“Yes, you’re totally convincing.”
“Keri, do you… think I’m pretty? I really want to be pretty. I hope I’m pretty.”

She felt a pang of empathy knowing that every girl feels the same way.

“Oh, Michelle, you’re a very pretty girl. Hell, I would date you —- I mean, if I were interested in girls, that is. It’s kind of too bad I’m not.”

Keri looked down and I looked at her, with my mouth slightly open.

“Even though I love being a girl so much?”

Her smile widened.

“Yes.”

I smiled right back at her, losing myself in her eyes.

“You would really date Michelle?”
“Yes, I really would. I mean that. I wouldn’t make that up.”
“I know you wouldn’t. Thank you, Keri. It means a lot to me to hear you say that. You know, I’ve always wanted to tell you that I think you’re very pretty, too. I would definitely date you. It really is too bad that you prefer boys.”

I tried to tell myself that at least I could go back to being a boy in a couple of days, but I was aware that a part of me wished I could stay a girl a while longer.

“Awwwww! Well, thank you anyway! It’s very nice to hear that! I just hope you don’t think I’m a slut after what I just did.”

She put one hand on her forehead.

“I hope that helped to convince my mother that you’re a girl since girls don’t show their breasts in front of a boy like that.”
“Michelle is not a boy.”

I paused for a moment and Keri cocked her head to one side, wondering what to make of that comment.

“Anyway, I knew why you were doing that, just so you know. I don’t know if that makes you feel any better, but I hope so.”
“It does make me feel better. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Well, did you enjoy the show?”

I looked at my feet.

“Yes, I did.” I looked back at Keri. “Like I said, you’re a very pretty girl.”

We smiled at each other and gave each other a great big hug.

“Michelle, I would love it if you could stay for dinner. Please stay?”
“Well… Michelle is nervous about keeping your mother convinced that she’s a girl and her comfort zone has been violated in all sorts of ways today… but maybe she can do this. It’s only one more person and I’d love to have dinner with you! I’d better call my Mom and let her know.”

I was getting very nervous again.

“Of course! I’ll show you where the phone is.”
“Thanks.”

I gave my Mom a quick call and made the plans. When I was done, I changed back into my own clothes so that I wouldn’t damage Keri’s dress. Then Keri began to add some decals to my fingernails and seal them in with a coat of clear nail polish. We both had fun doing that until it was time for dinner.

Keri’s mother began asking all sorts of questions about Michelle. Since Keri’s mother had walked in on us while Keri was in various states of undress ranging from being in her underwear to being topless, we couldn’t possibly reveal that I wasn’t a girl. So, I was forced to invent a life for Michelle. I told her that I was Kelly’s cousin and that I was staying with him and his family until Monday. Keri’s mother asked what Michelle’s parents do for a living. I told her that they died in a car wreck two years ago and Michelle lives with her 25 year old sister.
After the meal, I thanked her politely for dinner and Keri and I brought our dishes into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher. I decided I’d better head home. Before I left, Keri’s mother came over to the front door to see me off.

“It was so nice to meet you, Michelle. I’m so glad you came to visit. I’ll have to call Kelly’s mother to let her know what a nice young lady you are! Keri, you really ought to invite Michelle to your party Friday night with your girlfriends. That is if you don’t have any plans, Michelle?”

Keri and I were stunned.

“That’s a very nice idea, Mom, but I think Michelle has plans.”
“Yes, that sounds like fun, but I think my aunt is planning something. It’s a shame I can’t make it.”

Keri and I thought we had dodged a bullet, but no such luck.

“Why don’t you give her a call and see what’s what. Who knows? Maybe you can make it after all!”

I didn’t have to look over at Keri to know what she must be thinking. Keri and I both knew that her mother wasn’t going to let this go. She was nice to a fault and could be somewhat controlling that way. It was time to play the game and play it well. I forced my face to brighten up. Keri played along, too.

“You’re right! That’s a great idea! Come on, Keri, let’s go back upstairs and make that call!”
“Yes, let’s!”
“Wonderful! We certainly hope you can make it, dear.”

We scampered up the stairs and as soon as we were in her room we shut the door.

“God damn it. Sometimes I can’t stand my mother’s nicey-nice bullshit! I should have known what she would do if she saw you. I’m so sorry I got you into this.”
“You?? My mother got me into this. She’s the one punishing me with girls’ clothes. It’s not your fault. Hell, it’s my own fault for running around breaking things at home and knocking my poor sister off her ass.”
“I guess so.”

I put a reassuring hand on her arm.

“I know so.”

She smiled at me half-heartedly.

“Thanks. Well, what are your real plans for Friday night?”
“Oh, I was probably going to let Chrissy give me a makeover again after we have homemade pizza or something.” We both laughed. “I’m afraid I’m just going to have to come to your party and hide my secret in plain sight.”
“I guess so. I don’t see any other way.”
“I don’t either. I thought about calling you on Friday morning and claiming to have eaten some spoiled egg salad or something, but… I think that might actually raise more suspicion than coming to your party. She already thinks I’m a girl and I don’t imagine many girls would pass up a party full of other girls her age. If other girls are anything like me, they would probably finagle their way out of the plans with the aunt and into the party.”
“You’re right about that. Besides, you already tried to back out once just now.”
“Yes, and it’s no use asking my mother to claim that we have plans because she won’t do that. It was her idea to turn me into a girl until Monday and she would just insist that I go because I might learn something. We’d better just tell your mother that I’m coming.”
“Agreed. Okay, come on.”
“Wait. I did tell your mother we had plans Friday night, so I’ll need a reason for those plans to suddenly change…”

I picked up Keri’s phone and called home to let them know what I had in mind in case Keri’s mother actually called before I could even walk home. Afterwards, we went downstairs to find Keri’s mother.

“How did it go, Michelle? What did your aunt say?”
“Well, she tells me that our plans fell through, so… I would love to come!”

She looked at me funny for a moment.

“You don’t have any plans for Friday night then?”

Holy hell, why is she looking at me like that? Time to put my plan into action!

“Well, we did, but Chrissy’s coming down with something and Aunty doesn’t want to just leave her at home sick.”
“Oh, the poor dear. Well, I’m certainly glad you can come, Michelle!”
“Yes, Michelle, I’m so glad you can come.”
“Oh, so am I! It sounds like a lot of fun! Thanks for having me!”

Keri’s mother was expecting Michelle to show up at Keri’s party. There was nothing we could do; we’d played our last card. First, we told her that Michelle had plans and then we told her that the plans fell through because Chrissy got sick. If Michelle didn’t show up then Keri’s mother would start to wonder what was going on. She was the type who wouldn’t let it go until she found out. Keri and I knew that I had no choice but to show up at Keri’s slumber party dressed as a girl. To make matters worse, some of Keri’s friends went to a different school than we did. If they found out that I wasn’t a girl then everyone at both schools would know! It would be all over town!

“Well, Michelle, er… why don’t we get in touch tomorrow and… discuss the details?”

I knew just where she was going with that. We were going to have to go through with this and we needed to figure out how we were going to pull it off.

“Yes, good idea, Keri. We’ll talk tomorrow. Call me in the morning?”
“I will.”
“Well, thank you both so much for inviting me.”
“You’re very welcome, Michelle!”
“Yes, Michelle, we’re really glad you can make it.”

Keri smirked at me, trying not to reveal her facetiousness to her mother. Her mother excused herself to finish in the kitchen and Keri gave me a big hug.

“It’ll be okay, Michelle. I’ll help you through this, whatever it takes.”
“I know you will.”
“By the way, I wasn’t really serious when I said I would tell everyone about you if you didn’t let me take pictures of you.”
“I knew that. But thanks for saying so anyway.”

The last of my doubt that I should trust her was gone. I smiled at her and kissed her on her cheek.

“Thanks for being so supportive of me in every way. It means… everything to me.”
“It’s my pleasure.” She kissed my cheek. “We’ll talk.”
“Yes, we’ll talk.”
“Good night.”
“Good night to you.”

I walked home with my head swimming after exchanging cheek kisses with Keri. If dressing as a girl in public was going to get me wonderful things like that then it was worth it even if I wasn’t comfortable with it. It was just too bad that she probably interpreted the kisses as a girl thing since she wanted to be with a boy.

I headed straight for our family room and told Mom and Tara and Chrissy everything that had happened at Keri’s house. Chrissy declared that she would be happy to play sick for me. Tara and Chrissy were glad for the kisses but concerned for me about the party. Mom wasn’t particularly worried about it because she felt that I was completely convincing as a girl. She reassured me that we had nothing to worry about.
Tara told me that she had some hair dye that she wasn’t going to use. If I wanted to, she could dye my hair strawberry blond just to make sure that nobody would recognize me. If I didn’t like the new color, I could always dye my hair back to its original color. I actually found myself considering it. Chrissy said that I would look really pretty as a strawberry blond.

The phone rang again and Chrissy went over to answer it.

“Michelle, it’s for you.”
“Thanks, Chrissy! I bet I know who that is!”
“I bet you’re right!”

We smiled at each other, giggling together. I took the call in the other room.

“Hi, Keri.”
“Hi, Michelle.”
“Are you really okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. This party isn’t the worst thing that could happen. I could be immolated.” We both laughed. “I’m just kidding.”
“I know. I just wish I could give you a way out of this.”

I cast a quick glance behind my shoulder to ensure my privacy.

“You know, Keri, there is a part of me that doesn’t want a way out.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I feel really good being a girl and… I like being with you.”

Again, Keri wondered what to make of the way I seemed to feel so good as a girl.

“I like being with you, too. I know that will be a big help. I think we’ll be able to pull this off.”
“I hope so. Oh, you know what? Tara was thinking I could dye my hair just to make sure nobody recognizes me. Chrissy thinks I would be pretty as a strawberry blond.”
“That’s a great idea! You would look very pretty as a strawberry blond!”

Sold!

“Really? Well, thanks! I think I’m going to do it!”
“Great! I can’t wait to see the new you! Anyway, I just wanted to check on you and make sure you’re okay. I swear! My mother can be such a pain in the ass sometimes!”
“Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about my old bitch the other day.” We both laughed again. “Well, thanks for checking on me. You’re such a sweetie.” I froze for a moment. “God, I even sound like a girl now.” I giggled at myself.
“Yeah, you do!”
“Good! That’ll be a help!”
“Totally!” She giggled at me. “Okay, I’ll see you Friday night.”
“Yes, I’ll see you then!”

We said our goodnights and hung up. I hurried back to the family room.

“Tara? I’ve decided that I would love to dye my hair strawberry blond. Could you and Chrissy help me do that tonight?”

They were both thrilled.

“Of course we can, Michelle! Come on!”

We went up to Tara’s bathroom and got out her hair dye. What an interesting process that was. It felt weird having my hair dyed, but when we were finished, I couldn’t believe how I looked.

“Chrissy, you were right! I do look really pretty!”

I felt so happy that I hugged them both and we all giggled. Then I helped them clean up Tara’s bathroom. When we finished, we decided to show off my new look to Mom.

“Oh, Michelle, look at you! You look totally different —- and very lovely, I might add!”
“Thank you, Mom! I love it, too!”

It had been quite a long day and I was feeling very tired. After thanking my sisters again for dying my hair, I walked slowly into my room and decided to switch my clothes for a night gown and bathrobe. I kept the bra and panties on underneath. I sat on my bed and looked around my room. I had never felt anything for the masculine decoration, good or bad. For the first time, I realized that there was something wrong with that.

* * * * *

The next morning, after I bathed myself, I selected a tiered, floral knee-length skirt, lavender long-sleeve t-shirt with scoop neck, white semi-sheer tights and the black canvas Mary Janes to wear. I put on my necklace, earrings and ring. I walked over to Chrissy’s room to ask for her help with my make up. She was more than happy to oblige.

“I like your new clothes, Michelle.”
“Thanks, Chrissy. I like them, too.”

Neither of us spoke for a few moments, but I had Keri’s party on my mind.

“I hope I can make it through this party with Michelle’s friends without them finding out about me. I mean, Keri definitely seems to choose good girls for her friends, but… there’s just no guarantee.”
“I know what you mean. It’s not her friends that are likely the problem. It’s all of their parents and all their parents’ interfering ways.”
“Preach it, sister!” We both giggled. “I’m glad I decided to dye my hair. That’s going to be a big help. Chrissy, will you help me do my makeup before the party so that I look just completely like a girl?”

Chrissy smiled at the invitation.

“Of course! I’d love to. In fact, I’ll even teach you how to do it yourself so that you’ll look natural on Saturday morning.”
“Oh, gosh! I hadn’t even thought of that! Thanks, Chrissy. You’re the best.”

We gave each other a hug. That was when I noticed Tara smiling dejectedly at us from the doorway. I realized that she was feeling left out.

“Tara, I would really love it if you would do my hair extra special for me.”

Tara brightened up at once and ran over to hug me.

“Oh, I would love to be part of this!”
“I want you both to be part of it, too. I’m really going to need your support through this. I mean, good god! Twenty-four hours ago, Michelle was just a playful fantasy that nobody was ever supposed to know about. Now she has her own wardrobe, a social life and a fictional 25 year old sister.”

We all shared a nervous giggle. My sisters both hugged me for a brief moment but the phone rang again. Once again, it was for me.

“I got it, Mom!”

I hustled over to the phone — without running -- and let Tara and Chrissy listen in.

“Hi, Keri.”
“Hi, Michelle. So here’s how this works. My parties with my friends get started around four so that we can have some fun time before we go out to dinner. I know that’s stretching things out for you, but we’d better not change anything. Mom might suspect.”
“Yeah, let’s not change anything.”
“Cool! Besides, we actually have a reservation for our own room tonight at the restaurant, so that will help! This way you don’t have to worry about the whole restaurant on top of everything else.”
“That’s great! Did you swing that or was it your mother’s idea?”
“A little of both, actually.”
“Well done, Keri — and thank you! I appreciate that!”
“That’s okay; I knew it would help you.”
“Yeah, it will!”
“Right, and then when we get home, Mom will leave us to ourselves. I was thinking that if we watch a movie after dinner —- or two -- then things will be pretty easy for us and that leaves only the first three hours or so for you to keep my Mom convinced that you’re a girl.”
“Great! Thanks for the extra help!”
“You’re very welcome!”
“Well, I’ll see you at about four tomorrow afternoon then.”
“Yes. Four o’clock.”

An hour later, my mom left to go to the grocery store. Tara and Chrissy had plans with their friends and that left me home by myself for an hour, which I didn’t mind. It would be a nice break from all of the chaos that had been going on lately and time for me to enjoy being a girl in peace. After they were all gone I decided to try doing my hair.

I walked over to my extra closet, looked at myself in the mirror for a few minutes and thought about how I wanted to do my hair. I decided to pull it back and clip it for now. I walked into Chrissy’s room and borrowed a hair clip. Back in my own room, I walked over to the closet mirror. I brushed my hair, pulled it back, and clipped it into place. I thought I’d done a pretty nice job. I looked totally like a girl —- especially with my new hair color. While I was admiring myself in the mirror, I heard the doorbell. I hurried into Tara’s room to see who was at the door. Tara’s room faced the front of the house and the door stoop was barely visible with a craning of the head.

As I looked down to see who it was, I saw Tara’s friend Brad standing there! I wondered if I should pretend that I wasn’t home. Then I remembered that she’d promised him he could borrow her camera to work on a project for his dad. She must have forgotten all about it in the midst of supporting Michelle through her ordeal!

Tara’s friend had an internship at his dad’s residential real estate office in the afternoons and taking pictures was part of the work. His father needed the project done in time for a meeting on Friday and so Brad needed to take the pictures today. I had heard Tara telling him he could stop by on his way to take the pictures and get her camera from her. I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t home. Well, technically I could, but I didn’t want him to get in trouble at his dad’s office — and I didn’t want Tara to get in trouble with Brad. There was no getting around introducing Michelle to Brad unless I wanted to screw over Tara and her friend. After everything Tara had done for me, I could not bear to let her get in trouble with her friend. I looked back in the mirror and felt satisfied that I looked nothing like Kelly. I walked downstairs, took a deep breath, and answered the door.

“Hi. Can I help you?”
“Uh, yeah, my name’s Brad. I’m a friend of Tara’s. I’m here to borrow her camera to do some work for my dad. Is she home?”
“Oh, hi. She told me you were coming. My name’s Michelle. I’m Tara’s cousin. I’m staying here for a few days.”
“Oh, that’s nice.”

Judging from that awful smile on his face, he thought it was more than nice. I had seen him look at girls before. I remembered when he was talking to some friends about a girl he really liked at school and he told them that he would love to date that girl. He had a ridiculous smile on his face. When I introduced myself, he got that same ridiculous look on his face. He thought I was a girl and he was thinking about dating me! I wished that Brad would do a better job of behaving himself. I realized that I had just learned what a girl feels like when a boy she isn’t interested in looks at her like that and she just wants him to leave her alone. Girls must put up with a lot from boys!

“I'm the only one here. Come on in and I’ll get her camera for you.”
“Thanks.”

We continued to chat while we walked up to Tara’s room.

“So, uh, how come not you’re not out with your cousins?”
“Well, Chrissy and Kelly are grocery shopping with my Aunt and Tara had a doctor appointment for Monday that got rescheduled for today. So, Tara asked me if I would answer the door for you because she didn’t want you to get in trouble at work and I said sure, no problem.”
“Well, thanks for doing that. Tell Tara thanks, too. I would have been in trouble for sure, believe me. The pictures I have to take today are for one of my dad’s best clients. If he doesn’t have the pictures for his meeting tomorrow he’s going to look like a complete asshole.”

I couldn’t help giggling at him.

“Wow. In that case, I’m glad he’s going to get them.”
“Me, too. Well, I have to go and get these done, but it was very nice to meet you.”

He extended his hand politely. Good for Brad.

“Nice to meet you, too.”

I shook his hand very softly, knowing how boys shake hands and trying to hide that I was one.

“Maybe I’ll see you around.”
“Sure. A girl can never have too many friends.”

He looked somewhat dejected at the mention of the word ‘friends’, but I knew that the sooner I put any romantic ideas out of his head, the better.

“Yeah. That sounds great.”

He walked away and I closed the door, glad to be alone again. I leaned against the door for a moment and sighed with relief. I went upstairs to return Chrissy’s hair clip and braid my hair again. Before long, mom was home and I told her about Brad’s visit. She thought it was funny that he hadn’t had a clue and impressive that I hadn’t given him one.

“Well, that must make you feel more confident for the party tomorrow night.”
“Somewhat. Brad was a boy, but the party is going to be full of girls.”
“I suppose that’s true, but I think you’re doing to do great!”
“Thanks, Mom!”

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I mentioned Brad’s visit to Tara and informed her that I had told Brad she had a rescheduled doctor appointment. She had completely forgotten, as I suspected. She was grateful to me for not getting her in trouble with Brad.

* * * * *

The next morning, I dressed myself in a black bra and pair of panties, my navy and dark green plaid skirt, dark green sweater, navy tights and navy canvas Mary Janes. After I put my jewelry on, I went to Chrissy’s room to ask her to help me with my hair and make up again, but she wasn’t there. She was probably already downstairs. On her vanity I saw the hair clip that I had borrowed the day before. Perhaps it was time to start doing my own hair. I pulled back the front half of my hair, brushed it back a bit with Chrissy’s brush, and enclosed it in the hair clip high up behind my head. I adjusted it here and there and decided it looked pretty good. I smiled at my new accomplishment.
I recognized all of the makeup that Chrissy used on me and I resolved to give that a try as well. I carefully applied the same color lipstick I’d been wearing and did a decent job of it. Then I picked up the eyeliner and mascara and did what I had watched Chrissy do. Once I was done, I looked at myself in the mirror and scrutinized my work. It didn’t look quite as good as when Chrissy did it, but it looked believable. I smiled at myself again and decided to go downstairs and get some breakfast. Mom and Tara and Chrissy were already down there, almost ready to eat.

“Good morning, everyone.”
“Well, Michelle, don’t you look cute.”
“Yeah, Michelle, did you do your own hair and makeup today?”

I blushed.

“Yes, I did. Everyone is already downstairs, so I decided to give it a try.”

We sat down and began to eat.

“Well, you did a pretty nice job. I’m proud of you.”
“Yeah, Michelle, you do look nice!”
“Thanks, you two!”

Mom actually looked a bit nostalgic.

“My little girl is growing up.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, Mom, I’m growing up.”
“You look so adorable. I should keep you in tights forever!”

Tara and Chrissy and I looked at each other, wondering what the hell Mom was going on about. Well, I knew one way to change the subject.

“So, um, do you ladies have any advice for a girl going to her first girly party?”
“Oh, that’s right! It’s tonight, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, Mom. It’s tonight. I’m really nervous about it. I’m going to be around a bunch of girls my age and, um… I know I look pretty good, but… I want to make sure that they don’t find out about me, so… I don’t know, do I talk like a girl? Do I walk like a girl?”
“Honestly, it didn’t occur to me to teach you those things since you’ll only be a girl for a couple more days. Of course, that was before we knew about Keri’s party full of girls. I guess we’d better teach you a few things, just to be safe.”

While we finished breakfast, Mom and Tara and Chrissy told me about a whole bunch of things that girls do differently from boys. They taught me what to do with my hands, how to eat, how to hold my head, and everything else they could think of. After we cleared the dishes from the table, they began coaching me on things like walking, standing, sitting, and a variety of other things. We took a break for lunch and afterwards they had me recite everything I had learned, brushing me up where necessary. I learned how to do everything I needed to be convincing as a girl.

It was 1 o’clock and Chrissy and Tara had plans with their friends again. After they left, Mom came over to talk to me.

“Michelle, dearest?”
“Yes, Mom?”
“I have a couple of surprises for you that will help you stay undetected tonight.”
“Really? What?”
“Let’s get in the car and I’ll show you! I know that you don’t like leaving the house dressed as a girl, but you’ll do very well.”

I got instantly nervous.

“We’re leaving the house again? Well, if it will keep my secret safe tonight, then let’s do it.”
“That’s the spirit!”

Fifteen minutes later, we parked the car in front of a hair salon. I looked at my mother with apprehension.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’re not here to shorten your pretty hair. You’re just going in to get rid of split ends and have it styled a bit. It will only be perhaps an inch shorter than it is now. Besides, you should have your hair done nicely for a night with the girls, just to make sure you look your best! You’ll love it; trust me on this!”
“Okay, Mom. Let’s go.”
“Hold on. I want to let you in on the other surprise first.”
“What is it?”
“Before I tell you what it is, please remember that we’re trying to make you a complete girl for this party so that your secret will be safe.”
“I know, Mom.”
“Okay, here it is. As you’ve probably noticed, girls your age have their ears pierced. If you want to be truly convincing as a girl then you should probably get your ears pierced, too. After the party is over you can take the earrings out and the holes will close up. Do you feel comfortable with that?”

I felt a pungent mix of gaiety and tension similar to what I had felt at the mall. I really wanted to have my ears pierced, but at the same time I felt… something distinctly and potently ominous. I couldn’t figure out what it was. I just knew that something was trying to make its way to the surface of my consciousness like a dolphin caught in a fish net. In any case, I knew that I would prefer anything to being found out.

“Well, I think I’d better do it. It really would help to protect my secret.”
“Okay then. Let’s go.”
“Let’s go.”

When I got back in the car, I had gold studs in my ears and my hair looked wonderful. The split ends were gone. My hair had a single, thin braid along the part and was wrapped in a bun high up behind my head. It looked fresh and girly and pretty.

As we got ourselves buckled up again in the car, Mom decided to check on me.

“How do you like your new look? Is everything okay?”
“I think I look beautiful. It’s just… well, I can’t really put my finger on it. Maybe I’m just feeling like it’s going too far. I started out pretending to be Michelle just so I wouldn’t be found out, you know? Now it’s different. It’s like she’s coming alive and I can’t contain her anymore. I don’t know. I guess I feel confused.”
“I don’t blame you. A lot of things happened that we didn’t expect to and you’ve been pushed to be a different person in all kinds of ways because of it. When I came up with your punishment I figured you’d just be hanging around the house for the next few days and that would be it.”
“So did I. That’s what I usually do this time of year.”

We both chuckled.

“Well, we’d better get home and get you packed for the night.” She put a reassuring hand on my arm. “Everything will be okay, honey. Really.”
“I know.”

At 3 o’clock, I went upstairs to pack my overnight bag and I realized that my suitcases looked rather masculine. Then I caught a glance at my sleeping bag and knew it wouldn’t do, either. I needed to borrow a sleeping bag and overnight bag from my sisters. Tara had a nice floral print overnight bag and a purple sleeping bag that she didn’t have much use for and she gave them to me to keep. I gave her a big hug and thanked her. Then I carefully packed a nightgown, bathrobe, slippers, makeup, toiletries and outfit for the next day. I chose a white satin bra and panties, denim skirt, white peasant shirt with floral print, white tights and black cotton Mary Janes. Finally, I went over to Chrissy’s room, grabbing Tara along the way, so that Chrissy could do my makeup especially pretty while Tara helped me choose the perfect earrings. When they were done, I looked adorable. I looked completely and totally female. I was ready for the party… but I sat there for a moment and didn’t move.

“Well, I guess you’d better get going, Michelle.”
“I know, Chrissy.” I gave out a long sigh. “I just hope everything goes okay.”
“I think it will.”
“So do I, Michelle. You’re so convincing as a girl that it’s hard to believe you were ever a boy.”

That made me smile. I gave Tara a big hug.

“Thanks, Tara! What a nice thing to say!”
“You’re welcome.”
“Well, I guess I’ve got to go. I have to convince them that I’m a girl who’s excited to be coming to this party, so I can’t be too late.”

Chrissy came over for a hug, too.

“Good luck, Michelle! If it gets intense, just tell them you need to pee and then call us to talk about it.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea, Chrissy. We’ll monitor the phone for you just in case.”
“Thanks, you two! You’re the best!”

We all gave each other one more big hug and then it was time for me to go. I walked back to my room, picked up my bags, and walked downstairs to the front door, escorted by my sisters. My mother came over to see me off. I put my hand on the doorknob to open the front door and hesitated again.

“Well, here goes everything. Wish me luck!”
“Good luck!”
“The best of luck!”
“You’ll do wonderfully, dear! There’s nothing to worry about.”

I could still feel something distinctly ominous trying to break through to my consciousness like a bird hatching from an egg.

“Thanks, everyone. See you tomorrow!”
“Bye!”

I took a deep breath, opened the door and walked outside. It was a pretty nice day and I enjoyed the walk to Keri’s house. When I came near her house, I became very nervous. I walked slowly up the few stairs to her front door and paused before I rang the doorbell. I had a feeling that everything was about to change and that change would take place here and tonight. I took a few more deep breaths. At last, I rang the bell. Keri opened the door exactly three seconds later and gasped when she saw Michelle’s new hair.

“Michelle! Look at your pretty hair!”

I couldn’t help but smile at her. I suspect I was blushing too.

“You really like it?”
“I love it!”
“Thank you, Keri!”

I gave her a big hug. I was really beginning to feel pretty for the first time and I loved that feeling. I was beginning to enjoy the idea of being at this party, yet, something stirred deep down inside me.

“Let’s put your stuff up in my room. Everyone’s up there chatting and having a great time.”
“Oh, good!”

She could tell I was nervous. She gave me another hug and I smiled at her.

“Let’s just do this.”
“Okay, Michelle. Let’s go.”

When we got to Keri’s room, her door was open and there were four girls sitting on her bed and her floor, listening to some music and having a great time. I was glad for the music. It seemed to help me to relax a bit.

“Hi, everyone. I’d like you to meet Michelle.”
“Hi, Michelle. You’re Kelly’s cousin?”
“Hi! Yes, that’s right. I’m Kelly’s cousin.”
“Wow. You look nothing like him.”
“Thank God for that.”

The girls all giggled at my remark. It had slipped out before I could think about it. Fortunately, the girls appeared to be unaware of what I was really saying.

“So, Michelle, let me introduce everyone else. Shelby is the one sitting on the floor. Sarah, Chloe and Amber are on the bed, in that order.”
“Hi, girls!”
“Shelby and Chloe go to school with Kelly and I and Sarah and Amber go to Wilton Academy.”
“Oh, neat!”

Sarah and Amber looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

“Not so much. We’d rather be going to Emery High with you guys. Wilton is so full of snobs it makes me sick.”

After Sarah’s introduction, Amber began to ape one of their schoolmates in a squeaky, ditzy voice.

“I’m Portia. I’m a rich bitch with an IQ smaller than my shoe size. My father paid for the new gym and my purse costs more than my education! That’s why I’m better than you! Get out of my way, dork!”
“What a bitch!” I said in pure disgust, eliciting more giggles. “I can’t stand stuck up people like that! Someone should fill up that purse of hers with spaghetti sauce -- and make sure it has garlic and onions.”

The whole room broke into laughter, including me.

“That would be so funny!”
“Yeah, I’d love to see that.”
“Eh, I bet ‘Daddy’ would by her another one in time for school the next morning.”
“You’re probably right, Michelle.”
“So Keri, you and Michelle should tell us how you met!”

Before she answered, she smiled at me in that subtle way of hers.

“Well, it’s really pretty simple. I bumped into Michelle while she was out shopping at the mall with Chrissy and Tara and their mother and I thought she might like to hang out with us.”
“Keri was right, too. Tara and Chrissy are awesome, but I didn’t know any girls my age over here, so it was great to meet Keri!”
“So are you staying at Kelly’s house then?”
“Yes, for a few days.”
“Aw, and then you have to leave us?”
“Well, yes and no. I have to go home again, but I only live a few miles away.”
“Oh, cool! So how come you’re staying with your cousins?”
“Well, I live with my 25 year old sister and she’s out of town on business, so the cousins offered to have me stay with them. I figured it would be fun to see them. That’s why I’m here instead.”

I gave them all an ironic smile and we all laughed.

“What about your parents? Where are they?”
“They died in a car wreck two years ago.”
“Oh, that’s horrible! I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s hard sometimes, but I’m pretty much used to it now.”

Keri changed the subject and started us talking about celebrity couples. We had a great time talking about ‘Brangelina’, ‘Bennifer’ and all of the rest. I was really fitting in with the girls. I felt relaxed and had even forgotten that I wasn’t one until I needed to pee. I excused myself and walked into the bathroom. I was feeling confused again. I had felt real and complete in there with the girls and now I felt empty. After I was finished, I looked in the mirror for a few minutes. I looked and felt pretty and I loved it. I began to think about having to put my hair back the way it was and the thought depressed me.

I heard a soft knock on the door and figured that one of the other girls needed to take a turn, so I turned and walked to the door. When I opened it, Keri was standing there with a concerned expression on her face and quietly asked me, “Are you okay? What’s the matter?”
I replied, equally softly, “Keri, I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I’m really, really confused. I fit in perfectly in there and I feel… real and… complete. I was relaxed in there and I even totally forgot that I’m… you know… until I had to…” I finished the sentence by pointing behind me into the bathroom. “Why do I fit in so perfectly with the girls?”

Keri had a good idea of what was happening to me, but she decided that it wasn’t the time to go into it. She decided we would talk about it privately after the party was over. Besides, she was only guessing. She wasn’t positive.

“I’m not sure, sweetie. Is it scaring you that you fit in so well?”
“Well, yes it is, but… at the same time… I love it. Anyway, I’m okay. I’m not worried about… Kelly… anymore. Now I’m only worried about what Kelly isn’t telling me. Well, I can figure it out later. Let’s go back. Oh, did you need to go?”
“No, I just came to check on you. Come on. Dinner is pretty soon and then we can watch the movie and give you a rest.”

I smiled at her.

“Thanks for checking on me.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Let’s go back before they think we’re having our own secret party over here.”

We began cracking up. She took my hand and we returned to the group. When we got back to Keri’s room, she put on some upbeat music and cranked up her stereo. We danced around and sang along to the music together. I knew and loved the songs that Keri selected. At one point, she played Cyndi Lauper’s Hey Now (Girls Just Want to Have Fun) and for once, I didn’t have to hide my enjoyment! Something felt right singing that song as a girl and as soon as I realized that, the feeling of dread returned. I still didn’t know where that was coming from, but I chose to ignore it and have fun. I had such a blast singing and dancing around with the girls!

An hour and a half later, Keri’s mom reminded us that we needed to leave for dinner in thirty minutes. Keri acknowledged her to make sure she wouldn’t come up the stairs unnecessarily and we began touching up our makeup for our dinner out.

While I was in the bathroom refreshing my lipstick, Chloe walked in to do the same. As we stood there, side by side, we complemented each other’s lipstick. I was having fun doing my makeup with another girl —- until Chloe asked an unsettling question.

“Michelle, may I ask you something?”
“Sure, Chloe.”
“I have the funniest feeling that I know you.”

I stopped and turned to her.

“Really?”
“Yes. There’s someone in particular that you remind me of.”

She glanced out the door to make sure that we still had enough privacy to resume our conservation.

“Six degrees, I guess.” I tried to giggle. “So, who do I remind you of? Reese Witherspoon?”
“Maybe in your dreams.” We both laughed. “Actually you remind me of a boy at school.”
“Really? Who?”
“Kelly. While you were in the bathroom, I called his house. Chrissy picked up. She could hear us chatting and she realized I was here at Keri’s party. I asked for Kelly and she told me he wasn’t there. She sounded faintly nervous about something. I really couldn’t tell you what. I asked her if Kelly was okay and she said yes, he was at a friend’s house for the night and then I asked Chrissy if she was feeling better and she said she still wasn’t feeling good tonight.”

I made a mental note to thank Chrissy later for covering for me. Chloe was looking right at me while she spoke as if she had a pretty good idea why Chrissy was nervous. I kept my eye contact with her.

“So you think she’s really worried about Kelly?”
“Yes, I think that was what was bugging her. I had a feeling she truly wasn’t feeling well, but not because she’s sick. More like sick with worry. I think something’s up with Kelly.”

Oh, crap. I don’t like where this is going.

“Well, I overheard that Kelly’s going through something right now that’s really private and really big and he’s scared of people knowing.”
“Any idea what? I would never share this with anyone else, of course.”

I nodded at her.

“Of course, I know you wouldn’t. From what I understand, Kelly doesn’t really know yet himself. It’s something about his identity and he’s trying to figure it out. You know how he’s at a friend’s house for the night?”
“Yes.”
“Right, well, he got roped into going to that friend’s house tonight because he had dinner there and afterwards the friend’s mother basically insisted that he come to his friend’s party tonight and make some new friends. Anyway, he had a feeling that being at this friend’s house could answer all of his questions and he’s not sure he wants to know the answers. That’s all I know.”

Chloe looked at me silently for a moment, her eye contact still unbroken.

“Wow. Poor guy.” She opened her mouth and hesitated for a second. “Well, I’m… sure he’s with good friends who… would want to do whatever they can to help him.” She hesitated again, still looking me in the eyes. “Friends he can trust.”

I smiled faintly.

“Yeah, I guess so. Well, knowing him, when he figures out what’s going on, he will be ready to tell his friends.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah. I have the feeling that he probably knows what’s happening, but he’s still… in denial about it, I guess.”
“Okay, so he’s getting there then. That’s good. Well, his friends will be ready when he is. They’ll understand if he needs more time.”

Chloe surreptitiously put a gentle hand on my shoulder on her way out of the bathroom.

“Chloe?”
“Yeah?”

I cast a quick glance toward the bedroom to make sure I wouldn’t be heard. Then I looked Chloe in the eyes again.

“Thank you.”

She smiled and mouthed the words "you’re welcome" and returned to the bedroom. I looked at myself in the mirror for a few seconds thinking about what was going on inside of me. Then I decided I’d better get back, so I did one last touch up on my lipstick and returned to the bedroom.

“There you are, Michelle. Are you all set?”

She seemed to be asking if I was ready for dinner, but I knew that she was really asking if I was okay.

“Yeah, Keri. I’m good.”

I smiled at her and she smiled back.

“Okay, we’d better get going!”

We went to an Indian food restaurant and had our own little room in back, complete with doors that the staff kept closed for privacy. I was very nervous walking through the restaurant, but I tried to keep my attention on Keri. We were in our private room soon enough, and once we sat down I felt much more relaxed. The meal went well. The food was good, the conversation was fun, and we all had a great time. Keri asked me to come to the bathroom with her at one point during the meal and used the opportunity to check up on me. I was feeling a lot better about being at the restaurant than I thought. We gave each other another smile and returned to the table.

Keri had picked the musical movie Moulin Rouge for us to watch. She knew that we both liked it and she figured it would help me feel at home. Keri and I sang along to the lyrics of the movie since we knew them. I was surprised to find myself feeling plenty comfortable with doing that. I would have been embarrassed to do that as Kelly. When the movie reached its sad ending, I found myself openly sobbing with the rest of the girls instead of holding my emotions in. I felt wonderfully liberated in a way I never knew I could. Keri noticed the changes in me and was amazed, but not surprised.

After the movie ended, she suggested we watch TV.

“What do you girls want to watch? Here, I’ll pull up the stuff I have recorded.”
“What’s Ma Vie En Rose, Keri?”
“That’s the one where the little boy is transgendered and gets into all sorts of trouble because of it. His parents suck at first, but his grandmother is really nice to him.”
“Oh yeah! I remember that movie!” I had the urge to find out how the other girls would react to the concept of transgenderism. “Can we watch that, Keri? Sound good, girls?”
“Um, yeah, I think that sounds great!”

I looked over at Chloe and gave her a subtle smile. Keri picked up on that. She knew that she and I had both seen that movie as well, and decided to make sure all was right.

“Tell you what, girls. Why don’t we change into our nightclothes and Michelle and I will go downstairs and bring up some good eats, yeah?”
“Oooo! Me like!”
“Yeah, I’m with Chloe! This is a slumber party. Let’s eat snacks!”
“Okay! Snacks it is! Come on, Michelle.”

Keri and I went downstairs to the kitchen and when we got there, Keri wanted to know what she’d seen up there. She broached the subject as we poured pretzels and chips into bowls.

“Michelle, does Chloe know why you asked for that movie?”
“Yes, she does. She called my house while we were in the bathroom, because I reminded her of Kelly and she decided to find out if I am Kelly. Chrissy told her I was out at a friend’s house for the night. Chloe said that Chrissy could tell she was here and Chrissy sounded nervous about something, but not sick, other than maybe with worry. Chloe knows.”
“Uh oh.”
“Actually, it’s a good thing. She told me that she’s sure Kelly is with good friends who would understand, friends he can trust.”
“Wow! That is really, really cool!”
“Yeah, it is cool. Now, if I just knew what Kelly isn’t telling me… but I still don’t.”
“He’ll tell you when he’s ready. Come on, let’s bring these snacks upstairs.”

Keri carried the bowls of chips and pretzels and I brought up the diet sodas and a large plate of brownies. We were set for the night. On the way up the stairs, I marveled at how I had arrived at Keri’s almost petrified of making it through the night and a few hours later, I was no longer afraid to be there.

* * * * *

We ended up watching three movies, all of them depicting a boy dressing as a girl in at least some role. After the third movie concluded, Keri reached for the remote and changed the channel. As soon as she did, the TV began blaring a commercial for some damned vacuum cleaner.

“Ow, my ears! Jesus Christ!”

A round of giggles began as Keri turned down the volume. She switched channels again and landed on a commercial ad for a movie about a transgendered person who had been born male but who felt that she was truly a woman on the inside. The movie took place during the transgendered person’s adulthood, but the trailer began with a flashback scene from the childhood of the transgendered person. In the flashback, the main character was dressed as a girl. She stood before a mirror, smiled at her reflection, and executed a 360 degree twirl. Michelle’s breath caught in her throat. Oh, my God, that’s just like me! The trailer made it clear that the transgendered character wanted to change her identity, including her name and even her body. There were clips of her declaring that she wanted to be called Cynthia. Just like I wanted to be called Michelle as soon as Chrissy suggested it!

Words began to echo in my head. You know, Keri, part of me doesn’t want a way out. What was up with that? I should want a way out… shouldn’t I? Why do I fit in so well with the girls? It didn’t make sense. I fit in perfectly in there and I feel… real and… complete. What was making me feel real and complete while I was with the other girls? Is it scaring you that you fit in so well? Why would it scare me? I’m not afraid of being found out anymore. You’re so convincing as a girl that it’s hard to believe you were ever a boy. Michelle is not a boy. Suddenly, I froze with my mouth hanging slightly open.

I watched the teaser absolutely rapt, my eyes inextricable from the screen. I realized that my life story was disquietingly similar to that of the transgendered character in the trailer. I began to understand what had been happening inside of me. Suddenly, the disturbing feelings that had plagued me were neatly accounted for. I knew all along that I loved being a girl and deep down inside, I had known where it would take me. Everything swam into focus. Everything fit.

The movie trailer concluded and the TV displayed an ad for a medication that nobody needed, along with an extensive list of possible side effects. Michelle dropped her gaze, for a moment, to the floor just below the TV. Very slowly, she looked over at Keri, who made eye contact and instantly understood that Michelle needed her. Michelle slowly turned her eyes toward Chloe, who picked up on Michelle’s cue as smoothly as Keri had. Shelby, Amber and Sarah caught on that something out of the ordinary was happening. They looked at each other, wondering what it was. Michelle, still in semi-slow motion, swallowed, cleared her throat, and announced that she would be right back. She hoped to hell that she appeared to be taking a bathroom break. She made her way toward the bathroom, but once she was out of sight, she went right past the bathroom and into the guest bedroom behind it.

She sat on the bed and closed her eyes tightly for a moment, trying to wrap her head around everything. Oh, my God. I’m a girl. I really am a girl. She opened her eyes, looked around the room and noticed the feminine décor. She was aware that she felt very comfortable in that room, a comfort akin to the feeling of wearing one’s favorite sweats. Kelly’s room, on the other hand, had always felt contrived, as one would feel wearing a mechanic’s jumpsuit that belonged to someone else. Yet, she couldn’t feel totally comfortable with the femininity of the room and her frustration thickened the mixture of her emotions.

As she sat in silence, taking in the bedroom décor and trying to explore her feelings, Keri and Chloe tiptoed in the door, closing it quietly behind them.

“Are you okay, Michelle?”

They sat down on either side of Michelle.

“Yes and no.” She paused and looked down at the ring on her hand as she gently toyed with it. The other two girls remained expectantly silent. Michelle continued slowly. “Something has been bothering me lately, something very big, but I didn’t know what until now. When we were watching that ad, for the movie about the transgendered woman… I identified completely with her. I used to sneak into Chrissy’s room, dress in her clothes and twirl in the mirror just like we saw in that trailer. I knew that I wanted to completely change my name, too. I also realized that I… ”

Michelle looked up at Keri.

“I feel that I… might… want to change my body, too.”

Michelle paused as she turned to face Chloe.

“The truth, Chloe, is that I don’t just look like Kelly. I am Kelly —- or at least I was. My sisters helped me dye my hair and I have been living exclusively as a girl named Michelle for the last three days as a kind of punishment for running around at home and knocking over a few things —- like my sister, for instance.” Michelle rambled on, lost in thought. “Tara had a run in her tights after I knocked her down and that was what gave my mother the idea of dressing me up to make me slow down. Anyway…” She paused again. “I had been wearing girls’ clothes long before my mother ever thought up that punishment. The whole reason I grew my hair this long was to look more like a girl. I guess what I’m trying to say is that…” Michelle took a breath, “I am a girl. I’m transgendered, like that woman in the ad. It seems so unreal but at the same time, everything makes sense now.” I looked at my hands. “Keri, remember how I’ve been saying that I was worried about what Kelly wasn’t telling me.?” She nodded. “I guess he just did... or… I guess I should say…” I looked up at Keri. “She just did.”

Michelle fell silent. Keri put her arm around Michelle.

“I had a feeling that was what was going on.”
“So did I.”
“Really, Chloe?”
“Yeah. I did.”
“How did you know?”
“Well, my first hint was that I secretly disagreed when Shelby said that you didn’t look like Kelly. I thought you looked exactly like him, although the strawberry blond hair would throw a girl off if she weren’t paying attention. Anyway, I got to wondering if it really was you and so I called your house to see where you were. Chrissy did a great job of covering for you, bless her heart, but I could tell.”

Michelle looked at Keri.

“How did you figure it out, Keri?”
“I got my first inkling while you were here the day I saw you at the mall. I know that you were nervous about those, um--”

Keri paused and looked inquisitively at Michelle, who understood what she was asking.

“It’s okay, Keri. You can tell her about the photos.”
“What’s this about photos, now?” Chloe’s interest was piqued.
“When I saw Michelle at the mall she was, well, dressed as a girl. I was very surprised because I didn’t know any of this at the time. I thought she looked really cute and I wished I had a camera. When I got home, I called Michelle and coaxed her to come to my place so I could get some pictures of her. I knew you were nervous about the pictures, Michelle, but I could tell that you felt good being a girl, at least in private.”

Chloe found that endearing.

“May I see the photos later, Michelle?”
“Yeah, of course, now that you know.”
“Cool! I’m sorry, Keri. You were saying…”
“Oh, right. When you first started chatting with the girls, you looked more natural and animated than I had ever seen you. Then, all of a sudden, you got this pensive expression on your face and excused yourself to use the bathroom. That was why I came to check on you. When you opened the door after I knocked, I could see that something was wrong. Then you confided in me that you felt so relaxed while you were chatting with the girls and that you had even forgotten that you weren’t a girl until you had to pee. When you said that I knew I was looking at a girl, not a boy.”
“Wow. This is amazing.”
“Yeah, it sure is.”

Keri was looking down at the floor as though she had just realized something. Her face had a pained look on it.

“Are you okay, Keri?”

Keri knew she would be too choked up to speak in a moment, so she went right ahead with her question.

“Are you attracted to guys, Michelle?”
“No, I’m still attracted to girls. I guess that means I’m a lesbian. That’s why ‘straight’ is not the word, Chloe.”

Keri squeezed my hand. Her smile seemed to have supplanted the pained expression, but I noticed tears in Keri’s eyes.

“Keri, are you okay? Why are you crying?”
“Because I have a secret, too.”
“Well, it’s certainly safe to tell me. Whenever you’re ready.”

I squeezed her hand and we smiled at each other, wiping at our tears.

“Michelle, I totally meant it when I said I would date you, but…”
“I know, Michelle, it’s okay. Now that I know I’m a girl —- or at least I think I am —- it wouldn’t work out.”

I looked down at the floor, feeling very dejected. I felt tears leaking out of my own eyes. I looked slowly back up at her, hoping she wouldn’t realize how depressed I was that she wanted a guy.

“I couldn’t be more ready.” She took a deep breath. “Michelle, I’m a lesbian. I’m also in love. I’m in love with you.”

Another tear slid down her cheek and I stared at her as an enormous, love-struck smile commandeered my face.

“Really? You are?”

I reached over and dried her tear with my finger.

“Yes. I am.”
“Is that why you’re crying?”
“Yes.” She sniffled.
“Oh, my gosh! I don’t believe this is happening!”

I was filled with a joy that I had never known before.

“Keri, I’m… I’m really in love with you, too!”

She grabbed me and threw her arms around me and we hugged very snugly, with our heads touching and my hand caressing her hair.
“I love you so much,” I whispered into her ear. “I love you, too,” her whisper replied.
“You know, I think I’ll just…” Chloe rose, pointing at the door, indicating that she was leaving the room.
“Well, I feel like sharing my secret with the other girls now.”
“I want to share mine, too.”
We smiled at each other.
“Okay, let’s all go back.”

A few minutes later, the other girls were fully up to date on everything.
“We’re so happy for you, Michelle. It must feel great to finally understand yourself.”
“Yeah, it does.”
“We’re really happy for your new relationship, too!”
“This is great, you two! You make a beautiful couple!”

Keri and I hugged each other and pulled back, with our faces so close we were almost touching. My hand moved to her cheek.

“It’s wonderful.”

An otherworldly force overpowered us and pulled us irresistibly toward each other. We kissed, deeply and passionately while the other girls applauded.

Two hours later, we were all getting ready for bed. I went to brush my teeth and Chloe came in to use the other sink.

“Michelle, I am so thrilled for you and Keri. I always knew you had a crush on her.”
“I always have had a crush on Keri. Listen, Chloe, thanks so much for your support and understanding. If not for our conversation earlier, I would not have felt so comfortable revealing everything.”
“I’m so glad I could help!”
“Well, I should really get back–”
“Go get her!”
“Goodnight, Chloe!”
“Goodnight, Michelle!”

As I looked around for my sleeping bag, I saw that Keri had spread it out right next to hers. She was lounging on one side with her head propped up on one hand. The other hand patted my sleeping bag in a very alluring manner. I was more than happy to sleep close to Michelle! I came over to her side and climbed in my sleeping bag. Chloe turned the lights out and Keri and I immediately cuddled up. We waited for everyone to fall asleep and when we felt convinced enough that the coast was clear, we silently zipped our sleeping bags open far enough to begin fondling each other as we kissed.

* * * * *

The next morning, we got ourselves dressed and packed up our bags. Once we were done, we headed downstairs for breakfast. When we got to the kitchen we saw Keri’s mother sitting at the table with three other people.

“Mom! Tara! Chrissy! What are you doing here?”
“I called your mother last night after I heard you girls talking in the guest bedroom. Now, Michelle, I have not yet told your mother about your news —- I feel that’s your place —- but you mother did give me a call and tell me that she has had some suspicions about you. She also asked for my help. Anyway, I’ll step back now and let you two explain things to each other."
“Michelle, darling, I have something to tell you about your… punishment.”

She finished by making quoting gestures in the air with her fingers.

“O-okay. What’s going on exactly, Mom?”
“First, will you tell me your news? I can guarantee you I’ll have no problem with it.”
“Okay. This may or may not come as a surprise, but… I am transgendered.”
“I knew it!”

Chrissy couldn’t contain herself. She gave me big hug and Tara wasn’t close behind.

“Michelle, I am so glad you have figured this out and I could not love you more. I am very happy to have a third daughter and from this point on, you can be Michelle permanently.”

I don’t know who screamed the loudest, me, Keri or my sisters. We were all overjoyed. We hugged each other. Keri jumped right in to hug me, too, and I was very happy to reciprocate her love. The other girls jumped up and down.

“In fact, these are for you.”

Mom dug in her purse and pulled out two bottles of pills.

“Mom, is that what I think it is?”
“Yes, honey. The blue pills are female hormones and the white ones are testosterone blockers.”
“Boy killers! Awesome!”

I threw my arms around my mother and Keri used the opportunity to get me a glass of water. I immediately took my first doses and began my path toward girlhood.

“Now that we have that out of the way, I need to explain the real reason I had you dress in tights and skirts, Michelle.”
“Please do, Mom. Go ahead.”
“I think we all know now that your punishment was not really a punishment. I was pissed when you bruised up Tara, but not that pissed! I did get the idea of you wearing tights from that event, but the real purpose of it has nothing to do with punishment. I think you remember the day about two years ago when Chrissy caught you dressed in her clothes and you hid in the bathroom and changed when I came up the stairs.”

Tara and I were stunned. Chrissy, oddly enough, was not. She had a smug smile on her face. Tara and I had to know what was going on.

“You knew about me, Mom?”
“I knew about what I thought was crossdressing, yes. I wasn’t sure about your true gender until you told me just now.”

I felt a burning desire to know how she found me out.

“How did you know, Mom?”
“Two years ago, after Chrissy caught you in her dress, I knew something was up when I was talking to Chrissy and you were in her bathroom. After you left the room to take out the trash, I walked into Chrissy’s bathroom to try to figure out what. Chrissy’s dress was hanging on a wire hanger. Chrissy never hangs her dresses on wire hangers. I also saw her tights in the hamper and I knew she had no occasion to wear them. I also knew that Chrissy doesn’t randomly get dressed up. Finally, I could tell that your hair had been braided because hair usually looks a bit frizzy after you take out the braids. So, I asked Chrissy if you had been dressed in her clothes and she confessed that you had.”
“I’m sorry, Michelle, but I knew that Mom had figured it out and I wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know.”
“That’s okay, Chrissy. I probably would have done the same thing.” I gave her a hug. “So, Mom, please continue.”
“Yeah, even I don’t know what happened next,” Chrissy quipped.
“All right then. During the last couple of years I started looking for more signs that you might be confused about your gender, but I never caught you dressed up as a girl again. I noticed that you and Chrissy seemed to have become closer to each other and I thought that was both wonderful and interesting. Anyway, my curiosity grew and about a year ago I called Keri’s mother, who happens to be a psychiatrist.”
“Are you serious?”
“Mom, you knew for a year?”
“Yes, Keri, I did.”
“And that would be why you were so insistent that Michelle attend my party —- and I couldn’t be happier that she did.”

Keri put her arms around me and I leaned my head backwards against hers.

“That is exactly why I pushed that issue, yes.”
“So go on, Mom.”
“Okay. Keri’s mom told me a bit about transgenderism and what to look for. She also warned me that these signs can be hard to see —- other than your shoulder length hair, that is. Anyway, that was all we talked about. So I started looking for the kinds of signs she described and I thought I might be seeing some, but I just didn’t know. Finally, a few weeks ago, my curiosity began to get the better of me. I knew you had been dressing fully as a girl for at least two years and probably longer. I thought it was reasonable to assume that you might want to be dressed as a girl everywhere and not just in secret. I thought that it might a very logical next step for you to begin dressing up around the house without having to hide it. I didn’t want you to have to tell me anything before you were ready, so I decided I would use a scenario wherein you didn’t have a choice. I knew that a fake punishment would be perfect —- and Tara, this is the real reason I didn’t let Michelle stop with wearing a pair of shorts over her tights.”
“Ah, I get it now!” Tara smiled.

Chrissy nodded, feeling smug that she knew all this long before her big sister.

“Anyway, all I needed was an excuse to deliver the fake punishment. Just to be really sure of myself, I asked Chrissy, a few weeks back, whether she thought you might like to have complete freedom to be a girl around the house.”
“That’s why I was struggling not to laugh when Mom dragged you into my room and started dressing you up. I knew exactly what she was doing.”
“You two are starting to scare me,” I kidded.
“Well, all of that sneaking around is officially over with, honey. Anyway, Chrissy said that she just knew that you would love the freedom to be a girl around the house as long as everyone can accept you that way. Of course, we totally accept you, in case I haven’t made that clear. So, a few days ago, when you ran Tara down, I had a perfect opportunity. I did have second thoughts, especially about having you go to the mall as a girl, but then I needed to have you try on the clothes, so it was tough to avoid that one. Anyway, I knew for a fact that you love to wear the clothes. I also knew that you had grown your hair to a girly length specifically because it was girly. When I found out about your dressing, I immediately understood that growing your hair long had been part of dressing up the whole time. With these things in mind, I was sure that it wouldn’t be torture. I also had no idea that you would end up at Keri’s party, of course —- this was only going to be around the house, as I told you. I must admit that I did tell Keri’s mother about Michelle’s fake punishment and I asked her to keep an eye on you and see what she thought. She mentioned that Keri was going to invite Michelle for a visit and Michelle was probably already there. She offered to change her plans and spend some time with the two of you. Thus, when Keri’s mother arrived home early on Wednesday, it was no coincidence.”

I was floored again. Judging by the look on Keri’s face, so was she.

“So, Mom, your plans didn’t fall through. You changed them!”
“Yes, honey, I did. I apologize for barging in on you like that. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Oh, no problem. Just don’t expect me to fall for that routine again!”

I giggled at her.

“Well, I think I speak for both Keri and I when I ask what happened next.”
“I’m glad you asked, Michelle. Well, I guess the next thing that happened was Keri’s little gambit, which she tried right after I opened her bedroom door.”

Keri began to blush and she endeared me in the process.

“I presume you were trying to convince me that Michelle was actually a girl. I must say, had I not recognized Michelle the instant I laid eyes on her, it would have worked —- but Keri, sweetheart, please don’t ever pull a stunt like that again.”
“Jeez, what’d you do, Keri? I know it’s juicy because of the way you’re blushing.”

Keri’s face continued to redden.

“I’ll give it you later, Chloe. Please continue, Mom.”
“All right. So, anyway, I knew who you were and decided to invite you for dinner so that I could interact with you for a while. I know you like Keri and I gambled that would persuade you to stay. Then, during dinner, you gave me your B.S. life story.”

We all laughed out loud.

“Oh, yes, the phony 25 year old sister crap.”
“Yes, Keri, that would be the one. Anyway, when you were seeing Michelle off at the front door, I remembered you were having this party and since Michelle seemed comfortable enough being a girl around Keri and me, I thought it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to be a girl in front of a few more girls —- girls, I might add, whom I know to be open-minded and good-hearted. I never doubted for a second that they would accept you right away. So, I hurried to the front door and roped you into the party. After you left, I called your mother.”
“I knew it,” I blurted, followed closely by Keri.
“So did I. Well, don’t keep us in suspense, Mom. Tell us what you said.”

We all chuckled.

“I told her about the party and your mother thought it was a terrific idea.”
“See, Keri? I knew she wouldn’t cover for us to get me out of the party —- which I couldn’t be happier that I attended.”

I leaned my head on hers again.

“Anyway, within seconds I could hear you laughing with the other girls and I knew you fit in very well. While you were upstairs, I made the reservations for dinner. Keri had mentioned that Michelle would probably be more comfortable if we could have our own room —- and I knew she was right -- so I made arrangements accordingly. During dinner, I got more of a look at you, Michelle, and I knew I was looking at a girl. When we got home from dinner you went upstairs, and a little while later, I went downstairs to make a cup of tea. On the way back to my room, I passed near the guest bedroom and noticed the door was closed. That door, however, is not terribly thick, and I overheard enough of your conversation to know what was going on. I went back to my room, picked up the phone and called Michelle’s mother. I told her to come over for breakfast because we had things to talk about. That’s really all there is to our story, I guess.”

“Well, maybe not,” Keri teased, looking at me playfully.
“That does it, you two. I want to hear about your story. You’ve been all cuddly the whole time you’ve been down here.”

Keri smiled bashfully and nodded her head, with her eyes on me.

“Yes, we have. Last night, we found out how much we love each other. I’m not talking about friendship, either. We’re in love, Mom. I’m a lesbian.”

Keri’s mother gave her an enthusiastic hug.

“So am I, sweetie. Welcome to the rainbow!”

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

The Trouble With Kacey

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

The Trouble With Kacey

The trouble was that Kacey was innocent — and the girls refused to believe him! Even Carly didn’t believe him — and she was his sister! Carly and Kacey’s mutual friends, Sarah and Maren, were furious. Never mind that Ned and Tom, their other so-called friends, were the true culprits. The girls believed that Kacey was to blame!

Ned and Tom always had been mischievous, especially Ned. They enjoyed playing obnoxious but harmless jokes on people. Normally, they did such things as putting food dye or salt in someone’s drink or loosening the top of a salt shaker so all the salt would dump onto the plate of the poor sap who picked it up. This time, however they had gone too far — and Kacey was on the hook for it!

Poor Maren had made the innocent mistake of leaving her backpack unattended with her diary inside. The backpack was sitting near the front door at Sarah’s house. Ned went snooping in Maren’s backpack and found the diary. He showed it to Tom and the two of them snuck off to Sarah’s room to use her computer for Internet access. Once online, they began posting Maren’s personal secrets on a crude web page they made just for the purpose. Within five minutes, they had thrown the crude website together and emailed the web address to the entire group of all of their friends. Kacey walked by Sarah’s room on his way back from the bathroom and caught the two scoundrels with Maren’s diary.

He knew what it was because he had seen it in Maren’s room. He had noticed its beautiful, ornate cover and picked it up to admire it. He had no idea that it was Maren’s diary until she immediately asked him not to open it or read it. Kacey readily relinquished Maren’s diary, apologizing profusely and putting it carefully back where he had found it.

When Kacey saw Ned holding Maren’s diary and sitting at Sarah’s computer with Tom looking over his shoulder, he knew they were up to serious no-good. He stopped dead in his tracks, with his mouth open wide.

Kacey had a diary of his own in which he described, with great detail, his own secret — and his secret was of sufficient magnitude that he felt he would be unable to return to school if it got out. Kacey had a deep, innate respect for the private thoughts of others and he cared very deeply for Maren. Finding Maren’s diary in the hands of Ned and Tom put a chill in Kacey’s heart.

“Hey, you two! What’s going on? What are you doing with Maren’s diary?”

“See for yourself.”

“What in the hell did you do??”

They turned the screen toward Kacey, whose eyes opened wide. Kacey got enough of a look at the screen to know that Maren’s private thoughts were plastered all over it. He gasped as he clamped a hand over his eyes to avoid having any part in violating Maren’s privacy like that.

“Oh my God! What in the hell is the matter with you? Shut down that website right now!!”

“No!”

“Yes, you asshole! Shut down that web site before your friends start reading it!”

“Why don’t you make me, girly boy?”

Kacey hated being called a girly boy. He was furious with Ned and Tom and someone he cared about very deeply was about to be horribly humiliated. He was pushed to his limits and he could feel his emotions swelling.

“Come, on!! Shut it down before anyone sees it!! Hurry up!!”

“Hey, what is going on in here?”

Sarah appeared in the doorway, followed closely by Maren. Moments later, they were joined by Sarah’s younger sister Rachel and Rachel’s friend Abigail.

“What are you three doing in my room--”

Maren gasped.

“Is that my diary?? What in the hell are you three doing??”

You three? No! Kacey began sputtering as Maren grabbed her diary from Ned.

“Wha–but I didn’t–”

“Oh my God!! You put my private thoughts on the Internet!! You fucking assholes!! How could you??”

At that moment, Sarah’s parents appeared in the doorway.

“Hey, hey, hey! What is going on in here?”

Sarah turned to her parents.

“Those three bastards took Maren’s diary from her backpack and put all of her most private thoughts on the Internet.”

“Whoa! Wait a minute! I had nothing to do with this at all!”

Maren whirled around to shout in Kacey’s face, tears streaming from her eyes. The look on Maren’s face almost traumatized Kacey. The poor girl was so filled with hurt and rage.

“I heard you telling them to shut down the computer before anybody saw it, you shit!!”

“What?? No!! I was telling them to shut down the web page!!”

Maren clearly did not believe Kacey — nor did anyone else, other than Ned and Tom. Sarah looked like she wanted to strangle Kacey with barbed wire. Kacey’s heart was filled with a potent mix of anger, frustration and hurt because of what Ned and Tom had done to Maren. He was becoming very emotional. Kacey glared at the two boys.

“Tell them I had no part of it, you two! Tell them!”

“It was your idea, Kacey!!”

Kacey was so stunned that he nearly fainted.

“Wh-wh-what??? That’s fucking ludicrous!!!”

“How could you do this to me, Kacey?? What did I ever do to you??”

“Maren, I didn’t!! I would never do this to you — or anyone!!”

Kacey was on the razor’s edge of bursting into tears and his voice was quavering.

“I tried to stop them!! I swear to God!!”

“All right, that’s enough — all of you!”

Sarah’s father took over.

“You three boys are to take this all down, right now. Do it!!”

Ned and Tom began to remove Maren’s private thoughts from the Internet.

Sarah’s mother jumped in.

“As soon as you are done, you boys are to go straight home and tell your parents to expect a phone call. I think we ought to let the girls decide your punishment,” Sarah’s mother glanced at her father, “because only Maren truly knows how hurt and humiliated she is. The girls will be deciding your punishment and you will do whatever it is they tell you to.”

Maren screamed. She was standing in front of Sarah’s computer screen staring at it in horror.

“Oh my God!!”

Sarah put her arms around her friend.

“What is it?”

“The fucking site already has a hundred hits!! You fucking bastards!!”

Kacey felt so awful for poor Maren! Maren began to sob and Kacey could no longer hold his emotions back. He ran out of Sarah’s bedroom so the other kids wouldn’t see him crying.

“Where do you think you’re going, young man? We’re not done talking to you!”

Kacey continued running home, the tears flowing down his face as soon as he got out of Sarah’s room. In his mind, all he could see was the image of Maren’s face filled with hurt and overflowing with tears. He couldn’t get that image out of his mind. He ran out of Sarah’s house, down the street, and into his own house. He ran up to his bathroom and locked the door.

He was overwhelmed with emotions. He knew that Ned and Tom had probably destroyed his friendships with Sarah and Maren. He felt enraged at them. How could they be so stupid and thoughtless?

Kacey knew that Maren felt beyond awful and he felt beyond awful for her. As Kacey sat in his bathroom and cried, his teenaged mind insisted that if he had been born a girl in the first place — like he should have been -- they probably would have believed him.

Kacey had been in the bathroom for approximately ten seconds when Carly began banging on the door.

“Kacey, you little shit! Open this door!”

“Go away!!”

Carly banged on the door again.

“Open the door!!”

“I said go away!!”

By now, Kacey was sobbing heavily and there were enough tears in his eyes that he couldn’t see straight.

“Carly! What is all this noise about?”

Kacey and Carly’s mother was now standing outside Kacey’s bathroom door. Carly told her that she had received the email — which claimed that Kacey was the mastermind of this abomination. Carly told their mother the wrong version of the story. Naturally, their mother was now seeing red.

The phone rang and Kacey’s mother stormed out of his room to answer it. Kacey knew exactly who was calling and began to think that he was about to lose the trust of everyone that he cared about. Very shortly, Kacey’s mother was back.

“Kacey Ensen Williams, open this door. Now!!!”

Kacey slowly opened the door, unable to stop crying. Carly looked at him with a puzzled expression on her face.

“Why are you crying? You’re not the one whose life is ruined!”

But Kacey’s life was ruined! His friendships with Sarah and Maren were probably beyond repair and he didn’t have any other good friends. To make matters worse, when he walked into school everyone would think he was a soulless asshole.

Kacey tried to answer, but only sobs came out of his mouth. Carly and their mother began shouting at him. Kacey wasn’t paying attention because all he could think about was Maren and how she would feel the next time she had to walk into school. All Kacey heard was something about waiting until his father got home and something else about giving Sarah and Maren carte blanche to dole out his entirely unwarranted punishment — with any help from Carly that they needed.

Finally, Carly and her mother left Kacey’s room and he returned to the bathroom to continue crying. He briefly wondered what unfair punishment he would have to endure, but he didn’t care. He only cared about Maren. He thought about calling Maren and trying to comfort her somehow but he knew she wouldn’t take his call — since she believed that he was the mastermind. The only thing he could to do help her now was to defend her however he had to at school.

* * * * *

“I hate them. All of them! Especially Kacey! Why would he do this to me? Why??”

Maren wailed as she vented her rage against the three boys whom she believed responsible for emptying the contents of her diary onto the Internet.

“I don’t blame you, Maren.”

Sarah put her arms around Maren again.

“Everybody’s going to know my most private thoughts!”

“No they won’t.”

“How can they not know? A hundred people visited that web site. It’s going to be all over school!”

Maren wailed at her predicament.

“They won’t know because we’re going to tell everyone that everything on that site is complete bullshit. I can guarantee that Kacey will be doing that because if he doesn’t we will tell the entire school that he ran home and cried after he got caught!”

Maren looked at Sarah with total surprise.

“He’s crying right now?”

Sarah smiled devilishly.

“Yeah, you didn’t see his face?”

“No. I was looking at the computer screen.”

Sarah laughed at Kacey’s sensitivity. Some measure of doubt registered in Maren’s mind when she head that Kacey was crying, but she knew what she had heard. Whatever had crossed her mind was done with its trip.

“So what are we going to do with those three assholes? I think they should be just as humiliated as you.”

Maren cringed at the thought of her facing humiliation.

“What do you suggest, Sarah?”

Sarah thought for a moment and her face lit up with an idea.

“I know what we should do! The senior dance is coming up soon, right?”

“Yes!”

Sarah was becoming more enthusiastic by the second. Maren was very interested in hearing the rest of Sarah’s idea.

“I say that we make them come to the dance dressed as girls for the entire night. I’m talking about dresses, pantyhose, makeup and hairdos, just like us!”

“I have to admit, I like that idea!”

“But wait! There’s more! The school rock band will be performing at the dance for part of it and there will be a stage set up for them. The band will be taking a break during their act. So, during the break, the three dolled-up low-lives will be getting up on stage and announcing to the entire school that everything they posted on that website was complete bullshit, that they are responsible for the website and that they are dressed as girls for their punishment! It’s only fair that they should be humiliated, too. Besides, I’m sure it will direct plenty of the shit away from you and onto them.”

Sarah jigged up and down in her seat.

“Oh, I love this idea — and it will be even better if we make them stand at the door and greet everyone as they arrive, too!”

Sarah threw back her head and laughed.

“Let’s do this, Maren! That’ll teach those fuckers!”

Maren fully agreed that the villains deserved swift, harsh punishment, but she wasn’t relishing Sarah’s idea the way Sarah was. It felt more like vengeance to Maren, and vengeance was not in her nature. Maren believed that evil was evil, deserved or not, and she wanted nothing to do with evil.

“Are you okay, Maren? I’m sure that we can think up something worse.”

“Oh, I think your idea is plenty punishing, Sarah. It’s not that. It’s just that it feels so ‘eye for an eye’ and, well, you know me; I don’t believe in revenge. I don’t want to stoop to their level, you know? I’m not like them.”

Maren was telling the truth when she said that, but there was something else to it that she didn’t want anyone to know. One of the secrets that Ned and Tom had broadcast on the Internet was that she had a strong crush on Kacey. They knew about the crush now, but they didn’t know that the idea of humiliating Kacey was just not appealing to her.

“Are you saying that because of the crush you have on Kacey?”

“No. I don’t have a crush on him anymore.”

That was a slight fib. She didn’t know how she felt about Kacey anymore. She had had a very strong crush on Kacey and she had some trouble believing that Kacey would do something like putting her diary on the Internet, and yet she had heard him tell Ned and Tom to shut down the computer before anybody saw them — and according to Ned and Tom, the whole thing was Kacey’s idea. She just didn’t understand.

* * * * *

Kacey’s sobbing had subsided, but his eyes were still leaking when his mother knocked on the bathroom door.

“Kacey, come out here, please. The girls have decided their punishment.”

“Isn’t that wonderful,” he thought miserably.

Kacey let out a forlorn sigh, stood up, wiped his eyes one more time, and opened the bathroom door. He had no idea what to say, and he just stood there, looking at his mother pitifully.

“Kacey, the girls have decided that you, Ned and Tom will be attending the school dance dressed as girls. That means a dress, nylons, hairdo, makeup, and everything else that the girls will be wearing. Then, once you are at the dance, you three will stand at the entrance and greet all of the guests. When they have all arrived, you will get up on stage during the band’s break and tell the school what you did, that the site was full of crap, and that you are dressed as girls as your punishment. You will also remain dressed as girls until the dance is over. You are going to do everything and wear everything that you are told to. Do you have any questions?”

Kacey shook his head.

“Good. You and I are going shopping after school sometime this week to find you a dress.”

“Okay.”

Kacey’s mother let out an exasperated sigh.

“Well, your father just got home, so I’ve got to go downstairs and tell him all about this. You are to stay in your room for the rest of the night and think about what you have done.”

“Think about what I have done, Mom? Fuck you,” Kacey thought bitterly.

“Okay, Mom.”

Kacey’s mother huffed downstairs to talk to his father and Kacey lay down on his bed hugging a pillow and staring out his window. The irony of the situation was excruciating. Kacey had dreamed of attending the school dance as a beautiful girl but now that he was getting his wish he didn't want it. He wanted to attend the dance as a girl because he was a girl, not because it was a punishment that was supposed to be a display of embarrassment.

Kacey realized that the girls had quite possibly picked the worst possible punishment for him. He had been largely ignored at school. Nobody had paid him much attention. Thus, his shoulder-length hair hadn’t raised many eyebrows. Kacey was terrified that this would change once he was in the spotlight at the dance, dressed as a girl. People would be paying attention like never before. When they saw how perfect Kacey’s shoulder-length hair looked with him dressed as a girl, would they realize why he really grew it so long? He was afraid that they would. Not only were his friendships with Sarah and Maren over — in all likelihood — the whole school would probably begin mercilessly harassing him. Kacey’s life really was over — but still, his mind was commandeered by thoughts of Maren. He was still haunted with the image of her angry, hurt, tear-streaked face and it made him want to cry again.

* * * * *

During the following week at school, Maren went through hell and neither she nor Sarah would talk to Kacey at all. On more than one occasion, he had even bumped into Rachel and Abigail, who attended the same school. They wouldn’t talk to him either. As if that weren’t bad enough, their entire class was pointing and whispering at Kacey. Kacey had never felt so reviled — or so alone.

He wasn’t the only target, however. He seemed to be surrounded by people who were snickering at Maren’s expense. Maren didn’t deserve that, even if she didn’t want anything to do with Kacey anymore. Whenever someone started in, Kacey walked over to them and explained to them that the web site was a hoax and they shouldn’t believe a word of it — or the email.

On more than one occasion, he had seen Maren at the brink of tears. He wanted badly to go over and comfort her, but every time he got within ten feet of her, she and Sarah would glare at him.

* * * * *

When he got home from school and wearily put down his backpack by the door, he took two steps toward the kitchen for a glass of juice before his mother came down the stairs.

“Put your jacket back on. Your headmaster has been notified of your punishment — and she readily approved it -- so we are going dress shopping.”

Kacey sighed and complied. He was very afraid of being seen at the mall shopping for girls’ clothing, but he knew that arguing with his mother would be a marvelous display of futility. He slowly put his coat back on and reluctantly followed her to the car.

On the way there, Kacey’s mind was filled with images of him running into his schoolmates and seeing them laugh at him for buying a dress. He stared out the window in glum silence, thinking of everyone he cared about and lamenting the way that they were passing out of his life like the scenery going by.

Kacey’s mother found a parking place fairly quickly. Before they got out of the car, she ordered him to remove the rubber band from his usual ponytail and hand over the rubber band. Kacey realized that this would help him look more like a girl, since he usually dressed in androgynous clothes, and under the circumstances, he was more than happy to comply. With his hair down, they walked into a department store and headed for the girls’ lingerie section. Kacey’s mother intended to pick out a bra and panty in nude and another in black since she didn’t know what color dress Kacey would be wearing. She found a package of three panties and several bras that were on a three-for-one sale, so she picked a bra in white, black and nude to match the panties. Next, she picked out three full slips in nude, black and white.

When she finished, they headed for the girls’ dresses section and Kacey’s mother began browsing the dresses while he watched. He loved every single one of them and he wished that he could be wearing one to the dance under different circumstances.

Kacey’s mother chose three dresses for him to try on and marched him toward the ladies’ fitting rooms. Kacey became very nervous about making a scene walking into the fitting rooms, but they walked into one quickly enough that anyone looking wouldn’t notice anything.

“All right, Kacey, honey. Let’s try the emerald chiffon first.”

She wanted him to try on one of the bras to make sure she had the right size and she held one out to him.

“Try on the bra you’ll be wearing to the dance to make sure the dress hides it properly.”

Kacey tried to make his voice sound softer and a tad higher in pitch in case anyone was even casually listening.

“Okay.”

His mother noticed what he was doing and understood that Kacey wanted to keep his embarrassment to himself. Kacey removed his shirt and put the bra on. He fumbled with it for a moment, but he got it on and his mother adjusted the straps. She had judged his size well; it fit nicely.

“All right, go ahead and take your pants off, sweetie, so we can see how the dress hangs on you.”

“Okay.”

Kacey slipped his pants off, took the slip that his mother held out for him, and slipped it on over his head.

“All right, now the dress.”

Kacey’s mother held the dress open while Kacey stepped into it. She pulled it all the way up and Kacey put his arms into the dress. He held his hair to one side while Kacey’s mother zipped up the dress behind him. She stood him in front of the mirror so that they could both look at the dress. The dress felt wonderful to Kacey and he hoped his mother wouldn’t catch on.

“Well, I think that looks very cute on you. What do you think?”

“I think it’s really cute, too.”

“All right. Let’s try the purple satin dress.”

“Okay.”

“Oh, I see this one has a built-in slip, so let’s get the other one off.”

“Okay.”

Kacey’s mother unzipped the dress for him and he carefully stepped out of it. A few seconds later, he was looking at himself in the mirror and admiring himself in the purple dress.

“That one looks adorable on you, too.”

Kacey loved that dress. He would choose the purple dress over the emerald in a heartbeat if he had any say in the matter.

“Yes, I look very pretty.”

His mother found his choice of words a bit odd, even under the circumstances, but she let it go.

“All right. One more to try.”

Kacey stepped out of the purple dress, put the slip back on and stepped into a black velvet dress with red puffy satin sleeves and red satin skirt. He liked that dress, but his favorite was the purple one. He looked beautiful wearing it, and purple was his favorite color.

“Well, that one looks nice, too. They all do. Which one do you like?”

Kacey looked up at his mother and paused for a moment, unsure exactly how to put it.

“Um, let’s go with the purple one. It… um… I look really pretty in it.”

Kacey’s mother paused for a moment and shrugged.

“All right. The purple dress it is. Let’s go.”

They put the dresses back where they’d found them, except for the pretty purple one, and headed for the counter. They found the hosiery section along the way and Kacey’s mother picked out two pair of nude pantyhose for him.

After they paid, they headed for the shoe section, where they found a lovely pair of purple pumps with a two-inch heel that matched the dress perfectly. Satisfied with their shop, they turned around and headed for the exit. They were almost there when Maren walked in. Maren and Kacey stopped in their tracks when they saw each other. Kacey felt a rush of potent emotion flood his heart and his mind. Maren looked away from Kacey and tried to hurry past him.

“Maren, wait! Please talk to me! Please!!”

“Shut up and leave me alone. You’ve done enough.”

She continued walking without turning around.

The image of Maren’s pained, tear-streaked face sprang into Kacey’s mind again and his emotions abruptly swelled until tears began to leak from his eyes. A sob escaped from his mouth before he knew it was coming and Maren stopped. She turned her head around and looked over her shoulder at Kacey just in time to watch him run out of the mall exit in tears. She turned fully around and watched, while her hands absent-mindedly played with one another, as Kacey ran right into a bunch of guys from school who immediately began to laugh and harass Kacey for crying — and wearing his hair down like a girl. They called him names, including ‘girly boy’ and that was all Kacey could take. He bolted for the car as the tears streamed down his face.

Maren saw the whole thing. She realized that she was actually feeling bad for Kacey — just a little bit. This wasn’t part of the punishment, after all. She knew that he had been largely left alone until now and after the dance he would probably have to deal with harassment like that until the day he graduated. That was also not part of his punishment.

She sighed, turned around, and went back to her business.

Kacey’s mother also watched those guys humiliate her son and she felt bad for him. Like Maren, she understood that it wasn’t part of the punishment. Fortunately for Kacey, the guys didn’t know his mother and since they hadn’t left the store at the same time, they had no idea that the dress she was carrying -- in completely transparent plastic -- was for Kacey.

* * * * *

The next day at school, Kacey was fifteen feet away from Maren when a particularly mean-hearted girl walked up to her and began making fun of her. Maren looked like she wanted to cry and that really pissed Kacey off. He stomped over to the bully and stood between her and Maren.

“Hey, bitch!”

The girl glared at him, but Kacey stood his ground.

“Yeah, you. Bitch. Leave… her… the fuck… alone. The web site was bullshit, and so was the email. Tom and Ned made it all up. All of it. Got it??”

“Whatever… girly boy.”

She giggled evilly as she walked away. Now Kacey was even more pissed off. His breathing was rapid and shallow and he felt his emotions rapidly building up. He closed his eyes for a moment as he fought for self-control… but he lost the battle. Maren knew that he was going to lose it.

“Are you okay, Kacey?”

“Excuse me.”

Kacey darted for the men’s room — but he couldn’t see very well through his tears and he ran into the ladies’ room instead. Maren heard the shouts and epithets hurled at Kacey. The two girls who were in there demanded that Kacey leave, but Kacey silently refused. He went into an empty stall, locked the door, leaned against the wall, and cried. It would not have been any better in the men’s room. Any guys who happened to be in there would be harassing him. The hallway posed the same problem.

As he wallowed in his despair, Kacey heard a knock on the stall door.

“Kacey? It’s me, Maren. Look, um…” She sighed. “Let me take you out of here before a teacher comes in here and--”

“What do you want, canker lips?”

One of the girls -- who had clearly read the web site -- made fun of Maren.

Kacey’s anger and frustration were almost to the point that he couldn’t handle it anymore. He angrily threw open the stall door and screamed at the girl who had made fun of Maren.

“Leave her alone, you bitch! That whole web site is bullshit that Tom and Ned made up — and so is that fucking email -- so stop that, goddamn it!”

Maren knew what was coming next and tried to get Kacey to leave.

“Come on, Kacey. Let’s just go.”

“Yeah, girly boy! Get out of here and take canker lips with you!”

They left the bathroom and headed outside to walk home. When they got out of earshot of the school, Maren stopped and Kacey stopped with her.

“Look, Kacey, um… I still think that you did what you did, and I still don’t understand why,” her voice quavered, “but you’ve obviously been dealing with as much shit as I have and I think you’ve been punished enough. You don’t have to go to the dance as a girl.”

“Thank you, Maren.” For a moment, neither of them spoke. “Maren, um… are we… still friends?”

Maren looked down at her hands as she paused for a moment.

“I’m sorry, Kacey, but I can’t forgive you for what you did to me.”

“Maren, I had nothing to do with that! Why won’t you believe me?”

“Because I know what I heard!”

“Well, you heard wrong!”

“Ned and Tom said it was your idea!”

“Ned and Tom were lying, can’t you see that?!”

“Kacey… ugh!!”

Maren paused as she clenched and unclenched her fists at her sides. Her exasperation was growing. It hurt Kacey to see her like that.

“Look, Kacey, let’s just go our separate ways before either of us says something we’ll both regret, okay?”

Maren turned around and walked away. It was now official that Kacey’s friendship with Maren was over. Kacey began to cry again. Wary of being seen by anyone at school, he ran for home, passing Maren on his way. She stopped again, watching him run home. She still couldn’t forgive him, but she didn’t hate him any longer.

* * * * *

On Wednesday morning, Kacey arrived at school to find everyone around him whispering about something as he entered the building. He sensed that something new was afoot. He didn’t have much time to wonder what.

The same mean girl that Kacey had confronted in the hallway while defending Maren approached him with a very satisfied yet evil grin on her face.

“Hey girly boy, I hear you’re going to the dance dressed as a girl for what you did to Maren. Shit, I had no idea you did that.”

She giggled evilly at him — as did everyone around him.

“I didn’t do that. Ned and Tom lied to everybody about me being involved and for some twisted reason everybody believes them.”

“Why would anyone believe them?”

“Beats the shit out of me.”

Kacey began to walk away.

“Maybe because you did it, girly boy?”

“Fuck you!!”

Kacey stomped away. Twenty feet away, Maren silently rounded a corner after watching Kacey endure his latest round of crap. Kacey knew he was in for a long day — and he was right. Ned and Tom got harassed about their punishment, too, but Kacey didn’t care. Seeing other people suffer never did anything for him.

* * * * *

That week was one long run of the gauntlet for Kacey and Maren. They were both relieved when the weekend arrived.

Kacey had not told his family that Maren had released him from the punishment. He had chosen instead to voluntarily attend the dance as a girl, hoping that it would make a big enough splash to make everyone forget about Maren. Kacey had given that idea a great deal of thought. All of his friendships were dead and his life was over, anyway. It no longer mattered if he embarrassed himself; he had nothing left to lose. Maren’s life, on the other hand, could be salvaged and she deserved for that to happen. She still had friends to defend her — including Kacey. Kacey was surprised to find that he had little difficulty making a firm decision to go through with it.

Unaware that Maren had released Kacey from his punishment, his mother had arranged for Kacey to have his hair, makeup and nails done and an hour before the dance started, he was ready. As he stood in his room, looking at himself in the mirror, he could not help smiling at the girl who looked back at him. She looked beautiful and he wished, with all of his heart, that he could be that girl.

* * * * *

Sarah’s sister, Rachel, felt quite envious watching Sarah doll herself up for the dance. She wished fervently that she could be getting dressed up so beautifully. Sarah left early for the dance since she was helping out with the decoration and preparation, and after Rachel watched her sister leave their house, she sighed with envy and walked back upstairs to her room.

Bored, she picked up the video camera that she and Abigail had been using the day that those three boys put Maren’s diary on the Internet. She played back the pretend newscasts that she and Abigail had recorded. At the end of the final newscast, Abigail had put the camera down on Rachel’s desk, and she had left it recording. By pure chance, it was pointed in the direction of Sarah’s bedroom door. The doorway was fully visible in the center of the screen. Rachel could hear her conversation with Abigail in the background. Rachel began giggling. She found the camera idiot-proof and wondered how Abigail hadn’t.

“Abby, you idiot!”

She continued giggling at her friend’s silly mistake — until she saw Kacey walk by Sarah’s bedroom door and stop in his tracks. Her laughter was abruptly silenced as she watched raptly. Maybe Abby wasn’t an idiot after all!

“Well, now the proof will be in the pudding, won’t it, Kacey. Asshole.”

She watched as the entire scene unfolded before her eyes — proving that Kacey was utterly innocent. Rachel gasped as her brain processed the truth.

“Oh, my God! Kacey was telling the truth the whole time. I have to do something!”

As she stopped the tape, Rachel thought about Kacey enduring as much hell as Maren during the week, and she thought about her sister Sarah, who was upset about the demise of her friendship with Kacey. She had to find a way to help them both. She put her coat on, and grabbed the camera. Then she stopped for a moment. She realized that Kacey, Ned and Tom were supposed to be telling everyone that the web site containing Maren’s diary was full of bullshit. She had to get rid of the sound where Kacey asked Ned and Tom what they were doing with Maren’s diary or everyone would know that everything on Ned and Tom’s impromptu website was true. Rachel picked up her cell phone and called her friend Nicki, who had a talent for video editing.

* * * * *

Kacey arrived at the dance a few minutes before Ned and Tom were expected and he walked right in to find Maren. He admired the decoration. The committee responsible for making the dance happen had done a great job. They had chosen to use twin video screens on either side of the stage to display photos of the seniors at various times during the year. Kacey thought that was a lovely touch.

Kacey resumed his search for Maren. It didn’t take long; she was one of only four students in the school’s gymnasium, where the dance was being held. Maren had just finished taping up some crepe paper ribbons when she turned around and saw Kacey standing there, dressed beautifully as a girl. She gasped as one hand flew to her mouth.

“Kacey? You’re dressed as a girl.”

He looked at her resolvedly.

“Yes, I am.”

“But why? You don’t have to.”

Kacey glanced at his purple shoes and took a deep breath. Then he looked Maren in the eyes.

“I’m hoping it will shock people enough to make them forget about your diary.”

Maren had to search her mind for words.

“Oh, Kacey… I-I can’t believe you did this. I mean…”

She took a breath.

“I still can’t forgive you, Kacey…”

Kacey flashed her a weak, rueful smile.

“I know, but I want everyone to stop tormenting you… whether you forgive me or not. I’m hoping that this will attract enough attention away from you to make that happen.”

They were both becoming emotional. Kacey sniffled as he felt tears coming and he tried to make a joke to relax them both.

“Christ, I don’t want ruin my makeup before the party even starts. That’s all I need.”

Maren couldn’t help giggling at him. Kacey gave her one last sad smile.

“Anyway, um… I guess I’ll leave you alone now.”

Kacey turned and walked away.

“Okay,” Maren murmured after he left, watching him go.

Kacey set his mind to figuring out how to get himself as much exposure as possible in hopes of drawing the brunt of the teasing away from Maren — if not all of it. He had nothing to lose. He decided to join Ned and Tom at the door while they greeted the incoming seniors so that every single one of them would see him dressed as a girl. After Ned and Tom had accused him of being the mastermind of Maren’s torment, he knew that they would try to get as much attention off of them as possible and dump it on Kacey — and that was exactly what Kacey wanted.

Naturally, as soon as Kacey got within ten feet of Ned and Tom, they began making fun of him.

“Dude! Kacey, what the fuck are you doing dressed as a girl? I thought Maren said you didn’t have to!”

Kacey looked at them expressionlessly.

“She did.”

“Whoa, fuck, dude! You’re dressed like a girl even though you don’t have to?!”

Kacey gave them the same stoic look.

“Yes. Some people improve other people’s lives instead of destroying them -- not that you would understand that.”

“Well, shit, listen to Little Ms. Goody Two-Shoes over here.”

Kacey felt tears coming, but he fought them back.

“Uh oh, looks like Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes is about to become Ms. Goody-Tissues!”

They laughed out loud at Kacey, but he refused to acknowledge their crap. Besides, the first attendees were arriving. The first ones to arrive were a group of three girls and their dates — and the girls were friends of Maren and Sarah. The boys started in right away with loud, lecherous whistles.

“Well, hello, girly boys! Nice fucking dresses!”

The guys laughed at them. When they were done, the girls chewed them out.

“You guys are the biggest assholes ever!”

Kacey found inner fortitude that he hadn’t known was there. He looked them firmly in the eyes as he spoke.

“Actually, I’m innocent of the whole thing.”

“Nobody believes you.”

“Yeah, I know. Oh, by the way, Maren released me from this punishment because she felt that I have been punished enough already, as you have no doubt witnessed this past week.”

“So you dressed as a girl anyway?? What the fuck did you do that for??”

“So you’ll take out whatever your problem is on me instead of Maren.”

Kacey marveled at how that shut them up. Ned and Tom were glad to have all the attention directed onto Kacey and they didn’t say anything.

“Whatever!”

The girls rolled their eyes as their dates escorted them inside. That scene repeated itself more times than Kacey could count. He made the same speech with more confidence each time. It made him feel better, much to his pleasant surprise. He might not be able to resurrect his life from its ashes, but at least he was proving to the world that he was a good, strong person with a lot of guts.

Half an hour later, the flow of arriving attendees slowed to a trickle. Maren and Sarah approached Kacey, Ned and Tom to tell them they were due on stage since the band would be taking its first break after the current song ended.

“Wow, Kacey, you really did dress like a girl even though you didn’t have to. So why the hell did you?”

The band finished the song and the school’s principal, Ms. Fillmore, asked them up on stage. Ned and Tom walked up on stage like dogs with their tails between their legs. Kacey however, did not. He had dressed as a girl voluntarily and for a very good reason. He strode onto the stage with a great deal of confidence.

“Now then, class, these three culprits are here to tell you something. Go on.”

The principal held out the microphone and Ned pushed Kacey toward it. Before Kacey took the microphone, he looked briefly at Ned as though he were something that had been scraped out of a septic tank. Then Kacey took the microphone and turned to face his audience.

“Good evening, everyone. I am standing here to tell you that Ned and Tom did something horrible to Maren–“

“So did you, you little asshole!”

Kacey recognized the girl who had shouted as one of the first three to walk in the door. He turned, looked directly into her eyes and responded to her calmly but firmly.

“Wrong. I had nothing to do with it whatsoever. I know that I have no chance in hell of ever convincing anyone of that,” Kacey looked into Maren’s eyes, “especially the one I want most to believe it -- but honestly, I really don’t care anymore.”

Kacey scanned the audience as he continued speaking, looking confidently into each pair of eyes he encountered.

“I know that I am completely innocent of any of this and that is enough for me.”

“Hey Kacey, why are you dressed like a girl if you’re so innocent?”

It was the same girl, and Kacey stared her down again. He walked a couple of steps down the stage toward her and responded to her with his confidence and his poise in tact.

“I told you that at the door. I dressed as a girl voluntarily so that people would leave Maren alone and pick on me instead. Did you think I was kidding?”

Kacey challenged the heckler, who had no answer.

“Did you think I was lying?”

The heckler remained silent.

“If you did, there are several people in this room who used to be my friends and who can tell you that I do not lie to people.”

Kacey looked at Maren as he finished that sentence. Maren looked severely conflicted.

“Anyway, I want you to know that Ned and Tom are dressed as girls as their punishment. I got so much shit this week that Maren released me from doing the same. I’m doing this for Maren. I know she’ll never forgive me and because of Ned and Tom our friendship is dead — and my friendship with Sarah.”

Kacey shrugged.

“I’m doing it for Maren anyway. It’s the only way I can help her now. Before I give the microphone back to Ms. Fillmore, I have to tell you that the web site that Ned and Tom put up on the Internet did not contain anything from Maren’s diary. It was just a bunch of bullshit, so you really do need to leave Maren alone. If you don’t, then you will have to deal with me — and believe me, I will be pissed!”

Kacey handed the microphone back to the principal. For a few moments, nobody spoke and the room was quiet. The silence was interrupted when the screens abruptly went black and the crowd began murmuring. A home video commandeered the twin screens. Kacey, Maren and Sarah instantly recognized Sarah’s bedroom doorway — and the incident that had evidently been captured on video.

Kacey watched himself walk by Sarah’s bedroom door, stop and address Ned and Tom. He noticed that Maren’s diary had been altered in the video so that it appeared to be a magazine — and it was one hell of a convincing job.

“Hey, you two! What’s going on?”

“See for yourself.”

“What in the hell did you do??”

They turned the screen toward Kacey, who gasped as he clamped a hand over his eyes.

“Oh my fucking God! What in the hell is the matter with you? Shut down that website right now!!”

“No!”

“Yes, you asshole! Shut down that web site before your friends start reading it!”

“Why don’t you make me, girly boy?”

“Come, on!! Shut it down before anyone sees it!! Hurry up!!”

“Hey, what is going on in here?”

Sarah appeared in the doorway, followed closely by Maren.

The video ended as abruptly as it had begun. The crowd began murmuring. Kacey looked cautiously over at Maren, hoping against hope that she would finally believe him. Maren ran up on stage and threw her arms around Kacey. She looked him in the eyes and tried to say something, but a sob threatened to come out instead and she closed her mouth. Kacey just held her warmly.

“I know, Maren. I know.”

Music began playing through the loudspeakers while the band took the remainder of its break. Maren regained her composure enough to speak.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you, Kacey. I feel awful about that.”

Kacey gently stroked Maren’s chin.

“You have nothing to feel awful about, Maren. I know how it looked until now and… I have learned from my own private experiences that some things in this life are just damned confusing and it takes time to see the truth. Heck, Maren, nobody else believed me either.”

She smiled at Kacey.

“I know, but I still feel bad. It must have felt awful that we didn’t believe you.”

Kacey looked her in the eyes fighting back his tears.

“Well, yeah, it did.” He sniffled. “But that’s over now.”

Maren continued smiling at Kacey. Kacey noticed that their faces were drawing steadily closer to one another. While he dared not hope that they would kiss, he knew that he couldn’t kiss her without telling her his secret. He had to tell her just in case.

“Maren, I want to share my own big private secret with you.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

“But I do want to.”

Kacey smiled at her. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath.

“Maren, um…” He took another breath. “I need to tell you that...”

He paused as he thought about how to say it.

“Do you know why I hate being called a girly boy so much?”

“No, I don’t. I’ve wondered about that. Tell me.”

“I hate that because…” Kacey took one more breath. “…because I’m not a boy, Maren. I am girly and that’s supposed to be normal for me because I am a girl. Being myself is not supposed to be something people make fun of. Anyway, that’s my big secret. I’m a girl. I’m a girl who has Harry Benjamin Syndrome.”

“Harry Benjamin Syndrome… what is that?”

“That’s when a girl is born with the body of a boy–or vice versa.”

“Oh, I understand now. You’re transsexual.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“I kind of knew that, Kacey.”

Maren smiled at him.

“Really? Well, I guess that’s not so surprising. It’s not like there wasn’t any clue.”

Maren giggled.

“Yeah. You have always reacted to things and thought about things a lot more like a girl than a boy. I always knew you were special. That’s why I like you so much. You’re not a big, dumb animal like so many men.”

Kacey smiled.

“Thank God for small favors!”

They giggled together, still in each other’s arms.

“You really didn’t read my diary, did you?”

“No, of course not. I would never, ever do that to you or anyone else, but especially you.”

Maren smiled at him.

“Especially me?”

Kacey nodded at her with a smile on his face and looked into Maren’s eyes.

“Especially you. I’ve, um… I’ve liked you for a while now. More than a friend, I mean. A lot more.”

Kacey sheepishly looked down at his purple pumps.

“Well, there’s one secret in my diary that it’s time you knew about.”

Their faces drew closer.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

Maren kissed Kacey fervently in a passionate lip-lock.

“I feel the same way.”

Kacey smiled at her.

“Excellent!”

Kacey reciprocated Maren’s kiss.

“So, Kacey. Would you like me to continue calling you Kacey or would you prefer to use a different name while you’re dressed as a girl?”

Kacey smiled at Maren.

“That’s a good question. Please call me Lacey.”

“All right, Lacey. Well, come on. I think Sarah has something she wants to say. She’s been standing there for a couple of minutes now.”

Maren giggled at Sarah.

“Okay. Let’s go talk to her.”

They walked down the stairs from the stage, hand in hand, and met up with Sarah.

“Hi, Sarah.”

“Aw, shit, Kacey, I should have believed you! I don’t know what I was thinking to believe those two jerks.”

She hugged him.

“Oh, hey, as I was telling Maren, nobody else believed me, either — not even Carly believed me, and she’s my sister!”

“Poor Kacey!”

“Yes, poor Kacey!”

“Hi Christine.”

It was the girl who heckled Kacey during his speech.

“I’m really sorry, Kacey. I owe you an apology.”

“That’s okay. Hopefully, this is all over.”

“You know, it really was gutsy to come here dressed a girl voluntarily to try to save Maren — and it’s working miracles, by the way. It’s all everyone’s talking about.”

Kacey chuckled as Maren smiled at him.

“Great! I am so freaking glad to hear that!”

Kacey smiled at Maren. Anyway, that wasn’t the only reason I came as a girl tonight.”

Sarah and Christine looked at Kacey with interest.

“It wasn’t?”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Okay. So… what was your other reason?”

Kacey took a deep breath and looked at Christine. He felt Maren’s hand squeezing his.

“I’m a girl, Christine. I always have been and I always will be. My body’s all wrong, that’s all.”

“So you are transgendered then. A rumor is already going around about that.”

Kacey smirked.

“Good. Just call me Lacey.”

They laughed.

“I am tired of being in the closet anyway. Besides, they’ll leave Maren alone even more now.”

Maren looked at Lacey with an indescribable look on her face.

“Lacey, I still can’t believe you did this for me.”

“Yeah, well, believe it!”

Lacey giggled as Maren kissed her passionately again and Lacey readily reciprocated.

Christine and Sarah exchanged glances.

“So, Maren, this must mean that you’re--”

“A lesbian. Go away!”

She kissed Lacey again and they let love lead the way for a while. Lacey realized that she was wearing the dress of her dreams to the dance of her dreams and kissing the girl of her dreams. Life was good!

THE END

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

The Valley of the Shadow of Death

Author:

Mona Lisa

Caution:

CAUTION: Referenced / Discussed Suicide

Audience Rating:

Mature Subjects (pg15)

Contests:

October 2009 TG Terror Contest

Publication:

500 < Short Story < 7500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

The Valley of
The Shadow of Death

by Monalisa
In the dark of the night, surrounded by the silence of his empty house, he began the preparations to end his sixteen years of suffering. He had chosen to carry out his plans on Halloween night. His mother was away on business until the next day, his sister was out all night with her friends, and Halloween made it possible to implement a critical component of his plans.

THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH

Bevan Jones could bear his suffering no more. He looked into his bedroom mirror at the miserable, phony, awkward reflection it showed him. He stared at the person who had no close friends and who starved for the love and affection only the right girl could provide him — a girl he knew he would never find. He glared at the falsehood that was his persona. He couldn’t take it anymore. Any of it.

It was time to do something about it — something he had been planning all month — and he had much to do. In the dark of the night, surrounded by the silence of his empty house, he began the preparations to end his sixteen years of suffering.

He had chosen to carry out his plans on Halloween night. His mother was away on business until the next day, his sister was out all night with her friends, and Halloween made it possible to implement a critical component of his plans.

Bevan got out the outfit that he had pieced together from clandestine online shopping and stolen visits to thrift shops. He laid on his bed a black satin bra and matching panties, off-black pantyhose, dark denim skirt, purple sweater and black flats with beautiful embroidery on them. Next to them, he placed the silver butterfly earrings, small silver butterfly pendant, and silver promise ring he had also purchased.

He had spent a chunk of his savings putting the outfit together, but it didn’t matter - not anymore. He was tired of hiding who he was and suffering because of it.

He reminisced on all of the times he saw a beautiful outfit on a beautiful girl and wanted to look like she did. How much he wanted to be that beautiful girl!

The girls at school always managed to look so pretty and Bevan, as always, looked and felt ridiculous. Girls walked into school chatting and social, while Bevan was ever the silent observer as though he were the paint on the walls.

Bevan returned to reality as the jealousy of the past morphed into a dull emptiness. He felt overpowered with the familiar desire to dress like a girl, to be a girl. Just one time, he wanted to be beautiful. He dreamed of feeling right and looking his fabulous best. He longed to be as happy as all those girls seemed to be, but he knew that would never happen.

And that was why he had to do what he had to do.

Bevan’s first step was to transform himself into a girl for the first time. He watched from beside himself as he removed his male clothes, slipped on the lingerie, and kicked his male clothes away behind him. He ran his hands up and down his arms and legs to be sure that he had removed the hair properly and marveled at the smooth feeling. One by one, he slipped on the pieces of his outfit. Before long, he looked almost as though he had been born a girl.

Bevan turned and headed for his sister Bethanie’s room, feeling as though time had slowed. Everything felt so surreal that he wondered if his alarm clock was about to wake him. He moved to Bethanie’s full-length mirror and saw the nerve in his face, as well as the shaking in his hands. His stomach felt as though he were riding a high speed roller coaster.

He touched his shoulder-length hair, suddenly gripped by the desire to fix it up. He had to look his fabulous best for what he had planned! He walked over to his room, grabbed his brush and returned to Bethanie’s room. He brushed out his hair until it shone and fixed it in a neat, girly pony tail high on his head, bringing himself one step closer to completing his look for the evening.

He returned his brush to his room and walked back into Bethanie’s room, headed for the mirror. He studied his reflection and decided that something was missing. At once, he knew what it was. He needed makeup!

He turned around and headed for Bethanie’s dresser, where she kept her makeup. He stood in front of the mirror over the dresser, ready to begin making up his face, when he caught sight of a photo sitting on the dresser.

The photo was of Bevan, Bethanie, and two of their friends, Jenny and Michelle, who were sisters and lived in the area. Bevan picked up the photo and looked at it. The photo was ten years old and was taken on Halloween. Bevan remembered that Halloween well.

It was the night he met Michelle, the same night she had begun asking if she could dress him up as a girl. He refused that night, and he continued to refuse until Michelle gave up her little fetish around the time they started high school.

With a sigh, Bevan put the photo back on the dresser, wondering if Michelle had really given up on seeing him dressed as a girl - or if she had merely given up on asking him.

But he was about to find out.

He had resolved to tell Michelle how he felt about her before executing the last of his plans. Since he would be dressing as a girl — and since he truly loved Michelle - he decided to grant Michelle’s wish and let her see him as a girl.

Bevan began choosing what makeup to wear. He carefully made up his face, glad that he had studied up on how to do it — and that he had steady hands. He made a few mistakes and had to repeat a few steps, but he finished the job to his satisfaction. He put Bethanie’s makeup back the way she had kept it and returned to the full-length mirror. He wasn’t looking at a Hollywood makeover, but he looked and felt pretty.

He had one last touch to complete his appearance. He returned to his room, where he opened his bottom desk drawer and got out the press-on, French manicured nails he’d bought. He pressed them onto his fingernails and filed them as best he could.

Bevan returned to Bethanie’s room and sat down on her bed where he could see his reflection. He absorbed the sensations and examined his feelings as he admired his reflection. Bevan felt right dressed as a woman, just as he had known he would, and yet… it felt so forbidden. Perhaps, more to the point, it was too little, too late.

He looked around Bethanie’s room, admiring the pale lilac walls and the white sheets with pretty embroidery on them. He looked at her posters and her throw rug in the middle of the floor. He absorbed Bethanie’s world and wished with all of his heart that he had been born a girl, just like Bethanie.

But he’d been born a boy.

He could never have what Bethanie had or what Michelle had. He could never be like them. His life would never be normal or even happy. There was a time when he had hope that he could show the world who he really was and be happy, but that time had passed.

He watched his smile fade in the mirror as he remembered the rest of his plans for the night and stood up to bring them about.

He checked his reflection in the mirror one last time and pronounced himself ready for Michelle’s party, but before he left, there was one more thing he had to do. He needed to write a letter to his mother and sister. He walked back to his room, sat down at his desk, took out a piece of his stationery and wrote what he had planned to.

He read through the letter, hoping that it would explain everything to his mother and his sister. He would see that they got it when he completed his plans. For now, he left it on his desk.

He glanced at the clock on his nightstand and saw that he was an hour late for Michelle’s party. It was time to tell the girl he loved how he felt about her — and grant her wish.

* * *

Bevan’s blood pulsed through his veins like water through a fire hose. He could hear it in his ears and feel it in his fingertips as he rang Michelle’s doorbell. The sounds of her party wafted through the windows flanking the front door and it sounded like everyone was having a blast.

The front door whisked open, replaced with Michelle’s pretty smile. She managed to look her fabulous best even in a Halloween costume. She made one fine-looking Hermione — and Bevan was spellbound, as always.

“Um… hi there.” Michelle’s smile faltered as she puzzled over who was standing at her door.

“Hi, Michelle. Sorry I’m so late.”

Michelle’s face lit up as she recognized Bevan.

“Oh my God! Bevan! Look at you! God damn, you look really pretty!” Michelle hugged him and squealed. “I always knew you’d look so pretty as a girl!”

“Thanks, Michelle.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiled warmly at him — and noticed something wrong. Her smile dimmed as her brow furrowed. “Hey, are you okay? You seem like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

“Oh, I’m okay. Don’t worry. Everything’s under control.” Bevan tried to smile.

“Good. You had me worried for a minute there.” Michelle’s smile returned. “Well, come on in. It’s cold out!”

“Thanks. It is cold!”

Bevan followed Michelle inside and waited for her to close the door.

“God, you look so much better!” Michelle blurted.

Bevan stared at her for a moment, wondering what to make of that remark.

Oh my God, does she know? She can’t know. She can’t possibly. I never told anyone. So…

“What do you mean?” Bevan wondered aloud.

Michelle’s smile deflated.

Oh, Jesus! Way to be subtle, Michelle! Shit, I have to tell her that I know.

“I just meant that, um… you look better than you have.”

I have to find a way to talk to Bevan. Michelle smiled at him knowingly.

“Thanks, I guess.”

They shared a moment of silence despite being steeped in the festive sounds and music of Michelle’s party. Michelle had an idea how to get the ball rolling. She leaned close and spoke in Bevan’s ear.

“So, what brought you to dress up as a girl tonight? Anything you want to talk about?”

“Well, um… I kind of… came here to tell you about that. Could we talk privately for a minute?”

I thought so.

Michelle’s smile was replaced by a knowing look of concern — knowing that Bevan was about to come out to her — and that something was very wrong.

“Yeah, of course. Let’s get us a couple of drinks and we’ll head up to my room.” This is good. We really do need to talk.

“Okay. Sounds good.”

Bevan followed Michelle to the punchbowl in the dining room, where Michelle filled a couple of plastic cups and handed one to Bevan. They turned to head for Michelle’s room but their egress from the dining room was blocked by a couple of guys.

“Well, hello there. I don’t think we’ve met.” One of them looked Bevan up and down as he spoke.

I don’t think I like you, Bevan decided. Either of you. Thank God you don’t recognize me.

“Why don’t you introduce your friend here, Michelle?”

“Hi guys.” Michelle flashed an insincere smile. “This is-”

“Emma. Emma Jones.” Bevan helped her out.

“I’m Brad.”

“I’m Mitch.”

“So you’re a Jones? Any relation to Bevan and Bethanie Jones?”

“Yeah, they’re my cousins. Anyway, um-” Emma glanced over at Michelle.

“Emma and I were just about to have some private girl talk, okay? Maybe we’ll chat later.”

“Oh, okay. Sure.”

“Oh shit!” Mitch dropped his cup of punch on the hardwood floor.

“Oh, you guys! We just had this floor redone! You have to be more careful than that!”

Michelle put down her drink on the dining room table and began cleaning up the mess with a few of the paper napkins from the table. Emma put down her glass and joined Michelle. Soon, Michelle and Emma stood up and faced the boys.

“Now, please do me a favor and throw these out.” Michelle and Emma handed Mitch the napkins they had used to clean up after them. “If my dad asks, I’m in my room talking to Emma, okay?”

“Okay. See you later!”

Michelle and Emma grabbed their cups of punch and headed for Michelle’s room. On the way out of the dining room, Emma saw Brad and Mitch exchange knowing glances and wondered what that was about.

* * *

They closed Michelle’s bedroom door and sat on her bed, the music from downstairs throbbing its way through the floor. Michelle’s cat emerged from under her bed, where he took refuge from parties, and plunked himself down on the foot of Michelle’s bed.

“Hi, Eddy!” Michelle cooed.

“Hey, Eddy!” Emma looked on with a smile.

Eddy ignored Emma and Michelle while he licked his fur clean.

“I guess Eddy’s too busy for loving.”

“Yeah.”

Emma drank her punch fairly rapidly because she was nervous and thirsty. Michelle, on the other hand, left her cup on her dresser untouched. She was more concerned with Emma than her punch.

“Sorry about those two guys downstairs. The problem with a neighborhood Halloween party is that it involves the neighbors.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s okay.”

“Good. Bevan, are you sure you’re okay? You look really depressed.”

“Yeah, well… not for long.” Emma murmured.

Whoa. Should I be worried? Michelle fretted.

“What’s bothering you?” She put a gentle hand on Emma’s shoulder. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah, of course. I just, um… I have something that I want to tell you.”

“Okay. I’m listening.”

Emma’s mouth went dry as she turned to Michelle.

“Michelle, I…” Bevan stared helplessly into her eyes as his mouth hung open but nothing came out. “I, um…” I can’t bring myself to tell you that I love you. Damn it. Maybe I’ll come out first and try again afterwards. “I’m not wearing a costume tonight. This,” Emma gestured at her clothes, “is not a costume… not for a girl… and I am a girl, Michelle. This is how I should be. This is who I really am.”

Michelle silently looked at Emma for a moment, a smile spreading across her face.

“Oh, Bevan, I-”

“Please call me Emma. Okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m sorry!” Michelle put one hand up against her lips. “E-Emma, I know this may be hard to believe, but… I have always known that you’re a girl. I knew it the minute I met you.”

“You did?” Emma stared at her in shock.

“Yes, I did. That was why I always wanted to dress you up as a girl. I knew you’d be happier that way.”

“But… but how could you possibly know?” Emma was still shocked.

“When we first met, I thought you were a girl. Then your mother started using male pronouns and I understood that you were supposed to be a boy, except… you felt like a girl to me. At the time I didn’t understand that, but I do now. I know that inside that body you really are a girl. That’s why I said you look much better when I saw you at my door dressed as a girl and looking so pretty. You do look much better because you’re being yourself for the first time — unless you’ve been dressing as a girl in private, of course.”

“No, this is my first time.”

Emma smiled at Michelle cautiously, a tear sliding down Emma’s cheek. Michelle hugged Emma warmly, perhaps a tad more warmly than she had before.

Emma could have sworn that hug felt different, but she wasn’t sure. She felt drowsy and that could only muddle her thought process. In her current state of mind, she didn’t trust herself to make the call.

“Emma, when did you figure it out?”

“Well… on some level, I’ve always known that something was wrong, but I didn't really understand things until the last couple of years.”

“Aw, you poor girl. That must have been hard. Have you been struggling all alone? Does your family know?”

“No, they don’t. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

“Really? I am?”

“Yes, you are. I wanted you to hear it from me, not from some rumor.” Emma smiled nervously at her.

“Well, I’m very honored to be the first.” Michelle smiled warmly back at Emma. She seemed thrilled to be the first person Emma had told, but Emma cautioned herself not to try to figure these things out while drowsy. Why the hell am I so drowsy, anyway? Gawd, I didn’t realize I was so tired! I guess it’s my nerves draining me.

“I’m really glad you took the news so well. I’ve been scared to tell anyone. I’m still scared about telling my family. I don’t know how they’ll take it.”

“I’m sure they’ll be okay with it. They love you no matter what. They’re your family.” Michelle gave Emma another smile and a gentle rub on her back.

“Yeah, I guess.” Tears ran down Emma’s cheeks.

“Here, let me get you some tissues. I need to pee, too, but I’m coming straight back, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Michelle.”

“You’re welcome.” Michelle gave her another hug, stepped out of her bedroom, and turned left toward the bathroom.

Meanwhile, Emma’s drowsiness intensified dramatically and suddenly she knew that she was not merely tired. Something was seriously wrong.

God, I feel like I’ve been drugged!

She tried to think how anyone could have slipped her a knockout drug and she remembered Mitch dropping his cup of punch downstairs.

Oh my God!! The son of a bitch dropped it on purpose!! I have been drugged!! They must have done it while Michelle and I cleaned up after Mitch!! Oh my God, we told them we would be alone up here!! Oh, this is bad!! This is very, very bad!!

Emma felt icy, merciless fear materialize within her as she looked up at Michelle’s drink on the dresser.

Oh shit! What if they drugged Michelle’s drink, too? Shit!! I have to tell her!!

“Michelle??” Emma called out towards the door, hoping Michelle would hear her over the music.

“Michelle!!”

“Emma, is that you? I’m almost done, sweetie!”

“Don’t drink your punch!!”

“I can’t hear you, sweetie, but I’m almost done, okay?”

“Shit!” Emma muttered.

I’m going to pass out! I have to fight it! I have to warn her about her drink! Shit! What am I going to do? Shit! Quick! Think!

Eddy sniffed the air for a moment and hopped down to the floor. He jumped up onto the dresser and started sniffing at Michelle’s punch.

“No, Eddy! Don’t drink that!”

Emma hauled herself to her feet and staggered to the dresser, her head beginning to spin markedly.

Oh, boy, it’s a damn good thing I’m not wearing heels.

She held onto the dresser to steady herself and grabbed Michelle’s drink away from Eddy. Eddy meowed at Emma, crying for a little sip.

“Sorry, sweetie, but this one’s lethal. Go on, get down!”

Emma turned her back to the dresser and leaned on it as she stared at Michelle’s drink, holding it away from Eddy and figuring out how to warn Michelle not to drink it.

Oh Christ! What do I do? If she drinks it, they’ll rape us both! Suddenly, it dawned on Emma what might happen when they discovered Emma’s male equipment. Oh, my God! They might even kill me when they find out about me! I have to stop this! I have to warn Michelle! Otherwise, neither of us has a chance! Maybe I can make it to the bathroom…

She stood up straight to find the spinning sensation significantly worse.

Whoa!!

She sat back against the dresser to keep from falling over.

Not a chance! I’m not going to make it. Shit! I’ll try to warn her one more time.

Emma’s eyelids felt heavy and she fought to keep them open. Eddy continued his mewing from the dresser, still intrigued by the contents of the cup Emma held away from her.

One more time. Here we go. Emma took a great big breath.

“Michelle!! Don’t drink your punch!!”

“What?”

“The punch!! They drugged the punch!!” Fucking music!

“Emma, I can’t hear you! I’ll be right there! Hang on!”

Emma heard the toilet flush.

I’m going to pass out. I can’t fight it.

Emma thought about pouring Michelle’s drink into a plant — only there were no plants in Michelle’s room. She knew she could toss it out the window, but she was too unsteady to make it to the window without spilling the drink — and if she spilled the drink Eddy would lap up the mess.

No, we can’t do that. Emma thought for a moment. Shit, there’s only one other way! Oh, Jesus, this is a terrible idea… it’s probably going to kill me, but…

She brought Michelle’s drink to her lips and downed it, making sure she got every last drop so the cat couldn’t. She tried to put the cup back on the dresser, but she dropped it and it landed on the floor.

…killing myself was the plan, anyway, wasn’t it? That was why I wrote that suicide letter on my desk. I’m so sorry, Michelle. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I have to tell you… oh shit! I didn’t tell you! I have to tell you I love you… I have to explain…

Emma turned around and started toward Michelle’s desk, the room spinning wildly as she stumbled. She had to leave Michelle a note telling her she loved her and explaining about the suicide letter.

I can’t fight it… can’t fight it…

Emma made it to the center of the room before her drooping eyes closed and she collapsed. She was out before she hit the floor.

Michelle had just stepped out of the loo when she heard a faint thud.

“Emma?” Michelle called out, becoming alarmed when Emma failed to answer.

“Emma??” Michelle ran for her room, dashed inside and found Emma sprawled on the floor.

“Emma!! Oh my God!! What the hell happened??”

Michelle ran to her and checked her pulse and breathing.

“You’re alive! Thank God! Hang on, Emma, I’m going to call an ambulance!”

Michelle looked around for her cordless landline phone and noticed her cup of punch was now empty and on the floor. Suddenly, she had a flashback of Mitch dropping his cup of punch in the dining room. She remembered leaving her drink on the dining room table while she and Emma wiped up Mitch’s punch. She looked at Emma, passed out on her bedroom floor.

Oh my God!! They spiked her drink!! Emma’s drink was on the table next to mine while we cleaned up!! Maybe they spiked my drink, too!! No wonder Emma was calling out for me!! She was trying to warn me!! Wait, my cup is empty!!

“Oh my God!! You drank mine, too?? Jesus Christ!! Oh, Emma, please don’t die!!”

Michelle’s eyes watered as she grabbed her landline to call 911 but stopped when she heard Brad and Mitch calling to her.

“Michelle, are you up here?”

“Everything okay?”

Brad and Mitch were coming up the stairs. Shit!

“Dad!!” Good luck he’ll hear me from downstairs with that music going! Damn it!

Michelle froze. Brad and Mitch were almost at the top of the stairs. She sprang to her feet and ran to her bedroom door.

“Daddy!!!!” She screamed.

She grabbed the chair next to her door and used it to barricade the door shut. Then she looked around for her cellphone and called her friend Deborah downstairs.

“Michelle! Where’d you go, babe? The party is young!”

“I’m in my room. Listen, Brad and Mitch spiked our drinks and they’re coming up here after us! I need you to get my Dad up here like now!”

“Oh my God! I-I’ll get him! I’ll get him right now! Stay on the line!”

“Okay, I will, just go!!”

Someone rattled the doorknob.

“Michelle, it’s Brad. Are you okay? Open the door!”

“Fuck off, Brad! Debby, hurry! They’re right outside my door and Emma’s passed out and I’m alone up here! They’re going to rape us!” Michelle was losing her composure.

“I’m getting him, Michelle! Wa- th– h– s!”

“What? Debby, I can’t hear you! Debby?”

“Michelle, it’s Mitch. Open the door. We’re only trying to help you.”

“Bullshit!! You spiked our drinks!! Debby?? Debby!!”

The cellular network had dropped the call.

“Shit!!”

Michelle heard them spring the lock in the knob and she watched with horror as Brad turned the knob back and forth. She heard the sound of a car pulling up to her house and stopping. Michelle glanced out her open window and spotted an SUV idling outside. She began trembling as Brad and Mitch’s intentions crystallized in her mind.

Oh my God!! If they get in here they’re going to sneak us out of the house and drive away!!

“Come on, Michelle, open the door!”

“Fuck off!!” Michelle was terrified. Shit! Shit! Shit!

Michelle realized she was still holding her landline and dialed 911.

“911. What is your emergency?”

“We’re under attack!! We need the police!! Please hurry!!”

Michelle heard what sounded like two people running downstairs.

“Okay, who is attacking you?”

“The assholes who drugged our drinks!!”

“Somebody drugged your drinks?”

“Yes, they drugged my drink and my friend’s drink and she drank both drinks and she’s passed out and they’re trying to get into the room!! Somebody just pulled up to the house near the back door and they’re waiting outside. Now please get someone over here before they break in here and take us!!”

“All right, Ma’am, I’m sending units now. They’re on the way.”

The operator verified Michelle’s address and they hung up. Michelle heard several people racing up the stairs.

“Michelle?? Michelle, it’s Dad!! Are you okay?? What’s going on??”

Michelle heard car doors slamming and the idling SUV took off at high speed — but she couldn’t see if Brad and Mitch were in the SUV.

“Daddy!! Get those boys away from my door!! They drugged our drinks!!”
“What?? Who??” He fumed.

“Brad and Mitch!! Get them away!! I’m not opening the door until they are gone!! Get them out of here!!”

“Honey, they must have gone downstairs. It’s just me out here and a few of the girls. Open the door, Honey!”

Michelle grabbed her cellphone and called Debby again.

“Michelle, thank God! I lost reception-”

“Where are Brad and Mitch??”

“Michelle, Honey, open the door!” Michelle’s father rattled the knob.

“They just left. They took off out the back door and got into some SUV.”

“Are you absolutely sure??”

“Michelle? Michelle, open up, honey!” Her father pounded.

“Yes, I’m sure! They’re gone!”

“Okay thanks!” Michelle snapped her cellphone shut.

“Michelle! Open the door! Right now!”

“I’m coming, Dad!”

Michelle ran over and put the chair back in its place. She opened the door and found her father standing there with several of her on-looking friends. She grabbed her father, and dragged him over to Emma.

“Daddy, they drugged our drinks. Emma drank hers first and she drank mine while I was in the bathroom. I think she was trying to warn me but I couldn’t hear her from the bathroom!” Michelle sobbed.

“Jesus, if they drugged both drinks then she got a double dose!”

He took Emma’s pulse and listened for her breathing.

“Oh, Jesus. Her breathing and pulse are very weak. Did you call 911?”

“Yes, I already called while Brad and Mitch were trying to get into my room.”

“Good, then they’ll be here soon. How long ago did she drink your drink?”

“Maybe two minutes ago.”

“Okay, good. Maybe they can get some of it out of her system in time.”

“God, I hope so.”

Bevan’s cellphone rang and Michelle grabbed it to see if it was Bethanie.

“Bethanie? Is that you?”

“Michelle! Where’s Bevan?” Bethanie sounded frantic and Michelle started to cry.

“He’s here with me.”

“Why are you crying?? Did something happen??”

“Bethanie, you need to come over here to my house. Just come over, okay?”

“What happened to my brother, Michelle?” Bethanie demanded.

“Will you please just come over here?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on my way!”

“Good. See you soon.”

Michelle ended the call and wiped her tears.

For a couple of minutes, nobody spoke. Everyone in the room looked silently at Emma, occasionally glancing out the window for any sign of help arriving.

Soon, they heard someone running up the stairs and Jenny came running into the room with Bethanie
right behind her. Bethanie pushed her way front and center.

“Oh my God!! What happened to Bevan??” She shrieked as she knelt down to her side.

“Bevan? This is Bevan??” Michelle’s father asked.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, one at a time!” Michelle shouted.

“Dad, yes that’s really Bevan. He, um…” Michelle realized that Bethanie didn’t know about Emma yet — and she couldn’t very well out Emma to the entire crowd. “…um, h-he was using the name Emma as part of his costume.” Sorry, Em! I know it’s not a costume. “I-I’m dressed as Hermione and… um… h-he thought it would be funny to call himself Emma, after Emma Watson, the girl who played Hermione.”

Bethanie put a gentle hand on Michelle’s shoulder.

“Let’s talk about his… costume later. Just tell me what happened!” Bethanie needed to know.

“Brad and Mitch spiked our drinks. She drank hers first and…” Michelle shrugged as she tried to figure things out. “…she must have started feeling drowsy and figured that they spiked mine too. I know that she drank my drink while I was in the bathroom because I found the empty cup on the floor. I heard her calling out to me and on my way back here I heard her collapse.”

“Oh, my God!! She got two doses??”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Did they… did they… try to…”

“Assault her? No, I made sure they never got a chance. But I’m sure they were going to do us both. They knew we’d be up here alone and everything.”

Michelle was feeling badly shaken and it showed. Jenny wrapped her arms around her little sister and held her.

“Are these two cups the ones she drank out of?” Michelle’s father held up the two tainted cups.

“Yeah, Dad. Those are the ones.”

“Okay. Nobody touch them! Maybe they can use them to figure out what drugs those punks used.”

“Maybe.”

The sound of sirens filled the air. Michelle looked out the window and spotted two police cars and an ambulance headed her way. Help was almost there.

“Beth, call your parents. I’ll wait at the door. You three stay here with her. She might throw up or the guys who did this might come back and try to take her. Do not leave her alone for any reason, understood?”

“Yeah. Of course!”

Michelle’s father ran downstairs. After he left, Michelle took Emma’s hand in hers.

“Hang on, sweetie. Please hang on for me.”

Seconds later, the house was full of police officers and paramedics. The police gathered the two cups Emma had drunk from and the paramedics gathered up Emma. They placed her on a stretcher and wheeled her into the back of the ambulance. Bethanie climbed in with her but Michelle was not allowed to ride in the ambulance. The vehicle’s lights and sirens came to life and the ambulance was off.

Michelle stood in her driveway, watching the ambulance drive away, with her arms tightly crossed, her hands rubbing her shoulders, and tears sliding down her cheeks.

Jenny wrapped a coat around her sister and held up her car keys.

“Come on. Let’s go.”

* * *

Michelle stared out the window, worrying about Emma and desperate to find out how she was doing. Jenny glanced over at her a few times, ostensibly to check on her, but she had something on her mind.

“Michelle, um…” Jenny glanced at her while she gathered her thoughts. “Bethanie didn’t get a chance to tell you why she called Emma’s phone.”

“No, I guess not, huh?” Michelle continued staring out the window, wiping another tear, not noticing Jenny’s use of the feminine name.

Jenny paused to maneuver the car safely around a bend in the road before continuing.

“Yeah, well… she found a suicide note on Emma’s desk.”

Michelle whipped her head around to stare at Jenny in shock.

“What?? A suicide note??” Michelle abruptly sat up in her seat.

“Yeah. We were going to have a sleepover at Beth’s house and she went looking for Emma to make sure she’d gone to your party. When she looked in Emma’s room, she found the note-”

“She was going to kill herself??”

“It looks that way-”

“Why?? Why was she going to kill herself??”

“Well, um…” Jenny didn’t know if Emma had come out to Michelle.

“Wait, did she… reveal her secret… in the letter?” Michelle wondered aloud.

Jenny smiled at her.

“I see that she came out to you. Yes, she did. She explained that she’s transsexual. She couldn’t deal with living a lie any longer and she believes that she can never be happy in life.” Jenny glanced at Michelle. “She has been terribly lonely, too. She hasn’t had many friends and she’d never had a girlfriend.”

“She was so lonely she wanted to kill herself? The poor girl!”

“Michelle, there’s… there’s more. I, um… I read the letter while Beth was on the phone to you and…” Jenny took a breath. “Emma mentioned you in the letter.”

“She did?” Michelle was riveted to Jenny’s words, her hands wringing each other. “W-what did she say?”

“Said that, um… she said that she has always loved you but that it doesn’t matter because she’s a girl. She thought you could never want her. She obviously doesn’t know how you feel about her.”

Michelle’s tears flowed as a sense of guilt grew within her.

“Oh, I should have told her. I should have told her! She wouldn’t have been so lonely-”

“Hey! None of this is your fault, all right?”

“Oh, I know, I-I’m not saying it is. I’m just saying that it could have eased her pain if only she’d known.”

“But you didn’t know she was in that kind of pain.”

“I know, I had no idea, but the fact remains that it would have helped her to know!” Michelle trailed off. “I didn’t know she was interested in me. Sometimes she’d look at me that way, you know?” Michelle smiled sadly at Jenny, who nodded knowingly. “But she never asked me out and a couple of times I tried getting closer, like… one time while we were at her house, I sat so close to her that we were touching and she seemed to shy away from that. She moved away a little. Another time, while we were walking home from school, I took her hand. She held it for several seconds and even squeezed it but then she let go. Things like that.”

“I’m sure it was only because she knew she’s a girl and was afraid to tell you all this time.”

“Yeah, maybe. I can’t believe she was going to kill herself.”

“Me, either.”

“You know, I hate to say it, but… it is pretty ironic…” Michelle hesitated.

“What is?” Jenny prompted her.

“Having her drink drugged might have saved her life. If not for that, she probably would have left the party and gone home and killed herself.”

“Yeah, you might be right. Assuming she survives, of course.”

“Oh, God!” Michelle croaked, wiping fresh tears as they pulled up to the hospital.

* * *

Jenny and Michelle strode into the ER and asked about Emma. They were told someone would be with them shortly. Soon, a nurse came out through a set of double doors and headed their way. Michelle begged for news and the nurse started talking.

“Bevan is in the intensive care unit. The drug he was given put him in a coma. It will probably take a good eight hours for him to wake up - possibly more — but he is stable. We’re just waiting for the drug to wear off. He is going to be okay. You should go home and get some rest and come back in the morning.”

That answered Michelle’s most pressing question, but she had another one that she just had to ask.

“H-how much of the drug did Em- Bevan ingest? Was it enough to drug two people? I-I’m just trying to figure out if I was an intended victim. Sh-h-he drank my cup of punch, too, and I wondered…” Michelle trailed off.

The nurse looked at the information she had available.

“Well, given his weakened vital signs, he probably received a good deal more than necessary to drug one person. In most cases of a date rape, the patient is put into a deep sleep-like state, but breathing and heart rate remain relatively stable. But sometimes, the victim gets more of the drug than intended and something like this results — or worse. Bevan’s very lucky. When he arrived here, the second dose hadn’t kicked in yet and his vitals were already affected. Left unattended, he might well have died. Now, we don’t yet know which drug they gave Bevan — not with certainty - but the symptoms and the information point to GHB. That drug is known for inconsistencies due to the way it’s produced — it’s illegal to produce it in this country, so it’s produced on the black market, hence the shoddy production methods. To answer your question, though, the dose required to produce rapid unconsciousness does not normally weaken the vital signs so significantly and so Bevan probably did get a double dose.”

My God, I almost lost her forever! Michelle brooded.

“Okay. Thank you.” Jenny spoke for Michelle, who stared at the nurse, speechless.

“You’re welcome. Do you have any other questions?”

“No. thank you.” Michelle murmured.

“Well, come on, Michelle. Let’s come back in eight hours. We both need the rest.”

* * *

Bevan woke up in the hospital twelve hours after he was admitted and found Bethanie and her mother looking at her. She had a terrible headache and couldn’t remember much of the previous night.

“Bevan? Are you awake?” Her mother asked her anxiously.

“Yeah. I’m awake. What happened?”

“Somebody slipped you a date rape drug.” Bevan’s mother took her hand and rubbed it. “Do you remember anything about last night?”

“I remember walking over there… and I remember Mitch spilling his punch… and then we were in Michelle’s room. I know I drank my punch pretty quickly and I remember Michelle’s punch sitting on her dresser untouched. That’s all I remember.”

“Bethanie said you looked beautiful last night.”

“You really did, sis.” Bethanie smiled.

Sis? Oh God, I guess they saw the letter! Wait a minute! She called me sis — and she actually smiled doing it!

A tear slid from Bevan’s eye and her mother gently dried it.

“We read your letter, sis. It was, um… pretty heavy reading.” Bethanie chuckled nervously. “But we still love you, you know. I have to tell you, sis, I am really glad to have a little sister.”

“And I am very happy to have two daughters. Yes, it will take some getting used to — and we’ll talk more about this later - but I just want you to know that I accept you unreservedly, Honey, okay?”

“Me, too, sis!”

“Thanks, you two. I thought…” Bevan choked up as he began to cry.

“You thought we wouldn’t accept you?” Bethanie hazarded a guess.

Bevan slowly nodded.

“Stupid!” Bethanie chided her new little sister.

“Bethanie! Please!” Their mother refereed. “Of course we accept you! You are my child, my daughter!”

Bevan's mother gently scolded.

“And my sister!” Bethanie beamed.

Bevan just smiled.

“Anyway, as I said, let’s talk about this later. There's only one thing we need to know for now.”

“Okay, Mom.” Bevan looked expectantly at her mother.

“Do you want us to call you Emma or is there another name you’d prefer?”

Bevan’s smile broadened.

“Please call me Emma.”

“Okay, Emma.”

A knock issued from the door and it slowly opened. Jenny and Michelle walked in.

“Hi, you two!” Emma smiled.

“Hi, Emma!” Michelle smiled at her. “It’s so good to see you awake and smiling!” Michelle croaked as she choked up. “You have no idea!”

“I’m glad I’m still here.” Emma smiled up at Michelle. “I never really wanted to die. I just couldn't take it anymore.”

Michelle smiled at Emma.

“I know, Emma. I don’t want you to die, either. It would kill me if you did, you know.”

Michelle sat down on Emma’s bed and took her hand. Emma smiled brightly at her.

“Thanks for coming to see me,” she beamed at Michelle.

“Of course I’d come. There’s nowhere else I’d be.”

Michelle looked up at Bethanie and her mother.

“Could I have a moment alone with Emma? I, um…” Michelle looked back at Emma. “I kind of… have something I need to tell her.”

“All right. Why don’t you and I have some lunch, Beth?”

“Sounds good about now!” Beth smiled at her mother.

“Mind if I join you?” Jenny inquired.

“Please do,” Emma’s mother smiled at them.

They left the room and Emma was alone with Michelle. Michelle smiled down at Emma as she spoke.

“Emma, I… I should have told you this a long time ago, but… I have always…” She paused.

“Known I’m a girl? Yeah, I know, you told me.”

Michelle chuckled nervously.

“Um, y-yeah, that’s not what I mean.”

“Oh, okay.” Emma squeezed Michelle’s hand — and held on to it, making Michelle smile.

“Emma, I… I really do love you. I’ve always loved you. You were always… so… special. So different. So unlike anyone else. I’ve always wanted to… be with you.” Michelle blushed.

“Y-you have?” Emma’s waterworks jump started and she began wiping her tears.

“Yes, I have.”

“Michelle, I love you, too. Ever since we met, I’ve always known I wanted you, but I always thought…” Emma sighed, tears leaking from her face. “…oh, boy, I have gotten a lot of things really wrong in my life.”

“That’s okay. We all get things wrong sometimes. The important thing is that you’re still here.”

“Yeah.” Emma squeezed Michelle’s hand again — and still held on to it. “I’m really glad I’m still here. It upsets me to think that… I could have missed out on this, Michelle. I could have missed out on us.”

“Yeah.” Michelle nodded. “But you don’t have to worry about that now.”

“I sure don’t!” Emma beamed at her.

“Emma, promise me something?”

“Okay.”

“Promise me that if you ever feel this depressed again you’ll talk to me, okay? Just please pick up the phone and call me, okay?”

“I give you my word.”

“Good.”

Michelle leaned down and kissed Emma passionately. When she was done, she eased herself onto the bed next to Emma, wrapped her arms around her and held her for a while. For the first time in her life, Emma truly believed that she could be happy.

THE END

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Up in the Air

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

Mature Subjects (pg15)

Publication:

500 < Short Story < 7500 words

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

UP IN THE AIR

Many transgender people find themselves in the position of meeting someone they're interested in during their transition - or they wonder what they would do if it happened to them. Dana has exactly that happen! She is just beginning the process of transitioning from male to female when her life takes an interesting turn on an airplane. Will she crash and burn or will her love life take flight?

UP IN THE AIR

“Um, excuse me? I think you’re in my seat,” the voice stammered.

I looked up from my book to see a shy sandy blonde with blue eyes standing there, her cheeks colored by a blush, broadcasting her uncomfortable awareness of the aisle full of people standing behind her.

The passenger in front of her bought her some time by precariously cramming his suitcase into an overhead compartment - directly above my head.

Jesus, I hope he doesn’t drop that!

Despite the threat of death by loaded Gucci, the girl’s face drew my gaze as I shrank into my seat. Making eye contact for the first time, I noticed how pretty her eyes were. Oh, wow! She captivated me as though I were a cat peering at something shiny.

“I-I’m sorry. Am I in the wrong spot?” God, I hope I’m not sitting in her seat! I inwardly winced at the likelihood that I had just made an ass of myself.

I had to tear my eyes away from hers to look at my ticket. She had the kind of eyes that I could bathe in, large blue ones as pretty as the summer sky.

Carefully, I marked my place in my book and teased my ticket out of the backpack beneath the seat in front of mine.

And sure enough.

That figures. The one time a pretty girl comes my way, what do I do? I sit in her seat.

“Uh . . . gee, you’re right. I’m sorry about that. I really can read,” I tried to joke, holding up my book.

“That’s okay,” she giggled. “Um, actually, if . . . if you’d rather sit on the aisle, I-I kind of prefer the window anyway.”

I really couldn’t care less. Airplane seats are all uncomfortable as hell! Besides, I’d much rather admire you than anything I could see out that window!

“Sure, I’m happy to trade!” I jumped out of my seat so she could get in. “Do you want any help putting your bag in the overhead?”

I probably can’t even lift the damned thing, but maybe together, we could-

“Oh, no, that’s okay. I’d rather put it under the seat. It’s kind of heavy. Besides, I think these things belong on the floor — preferably on wheels!” She began to maneuver her carry-on into our row.

“Yeah, definitely!” I agreed readily, gesturing to my purple backpack with its bright yellow wheels. Jesus, I didn’t realize it looked so girly when I bought it!

The passengers behind the girl began growling and muttering. I heard some jerk curse under his breath, but I couldn’t be bothered to look in his direction.

Instead, I stood there, befuddled, watching the sandy blonde clamber into her seat, wondering how a guy was supposed to help a girl with her suitcase when she wasn’t putting it overhead.

It was at the moment she slid it beneath the seat in front of her that I realized I could have offered to put it there for her. Yeah, well, too late now. Great. Very nice.

Part of me wondered why she hadn’t asked for help. I wondered if it might be a point of pride for her to handle her own bag - or a statement that a woman didn’t need a man’s help.

* * * * *

Nervously, I sat down next to her as she fastened her seat belt. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her smiling at me as I secured my own seat belt, tugging on the loose end to tighten it. Now that she wasn’t holding people up, she was more at ease — making her that much more charming.

Wow, sitting next to her, I am going to be a gibbering idiot for the next five and a half hours, but better her than some chatty old lady who wants to show me pictures of her cats and tell me all about her health problems! Either that or some dude drenched in cheap cologne — or an inconsolable crying baby-

“Hello-o?” she giggled.

My head jerked up as my brain finally registered that the pretty girl was asking me a question.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was miles away.” In the land of the Jackass. “Uh, what were you asking?”

“What’s your name?” she laughed.

“Oh,” I chuckled. “I’m Dana. What’s your name?”

“Jenna.”

“Jenner?”

“No, it’s Jenna. With an ‘a’ at the end. Common mistake,” she shrugged.

“Jenna. I’ve got it now. Sorry.”

Jesus, I’m batting a thousand here!

“It’s okay if you’re a little . . . well, nervous. I am, too,” Jenna smiled, her blush intensifying.

“Yeah, I guess I am nervous,” I answered with some relief, smiling back at her.

Shit! What am I thinking? Being nervous around a girl is NOT manly!

“I-I mean, I’m scared of flying.” Damn it!! I mentally smacked myself.

I dared to check if Jenna was still smiling and found that she was. That’s a relief. Wow, it’s so different talking to Jenna!

Normally, I struggled to put two words together when talking to a girl. With Jenna, I was not the usual nervous wreck — and she didn’t make me feel like a total turn-off! Moreover, she was nervous around me!

My eyes strayed from her face down her healthy-looking body and I noticed what she was wearing. She had on a simple combination of a denim skirt, burgundy tights and matching sweater, but she looked wonderful. When my gaze lingered a bit too long, I moved it back where it belonged before it took on an untoward meaning.

I didn’t want Jenna to think I was ogling her. I could see the person behind her eyes. Something about the way she stared at me spoke of her uncertainty, her appraisal, her amusement . . . and something I couldn’t quite identify.

Thankfully, she was still smiling.

Shit. Less thinking; more talking. Go!

“S-so, um . . . are you from here?”

“Yeah, born and raised.”

“Me too.”

The plane began to taxi toward the runway. Meanwhile, the lights dimmed as the safety video started.

“So what part of town do you live in?” I wondered aloud.

“Liberty Hill.”

“Liberty Hill? Oh, above the Castro?”

“Yeah, that’s the one!”

“Nice! Lots of cute Victorian homes up there!”

“Yeah, definitely. So how about you?”

“I’m in the Richmond.”

“Oh, cool.”

“Nah, Liberty Hill’s probably better. The Richmond is kind of boring,” I chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“So . . . is it okay if I ask, um, you know, where you’re headed?” I continued.

“You mean after we land in Boston?” her face took on a slightly puzzled, yet amused look as she giggled. “I go to school in Concord, about forty-five minutes out of Boston.”

“Are you serious? Me too!”

“Really?”

“Yeah!” I smiled brightly. “I go to Middlebrook High!”

“So do I!” her smile matched mine.

“Wow! That’s so cool!" I marveled.

“Yeah! So, um . . . what year are you?” Jenna hazarded.

“I’m a freshman. You?”

“Me too! M-maybe we’ll have some classes together!”

“Yeah, maybe!”

Gawd, I sure would like that!

Our conversation picked up and we enjoyed a good chat as the airplane came to a stop just before entering the runway. Oh, God, we’re about to take off, I swallowed. I couldn’t quite shake my case of nerves. I couldn’t tell how much of it was from my fear of flying, as opposed to being nervous around Jenna, but I made a solid effort to enjoy myself.

The good news is that if this conversation keeps up, I won’t need my book to distract me from my fear of flying! Dare I hope? I wondered as the captain’s voice echoed through the cabin.

“Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, we are next in line for takeoff. Please fasten your seat belts, return your seats to their upright positions and stow your tray-tables in their upright and locked positions. Flight time is approximately five and one half hours. Once we reach our cruising altitude of thirty-five thousand feet, we’ll be starting our breakfast service, and we will be showing an in-flight film, called Serendipity. If there’s anything you need, our flight attendants will be happy to assist, so please sit back . . . and enjoy your flight. We know there are many airlines to choose from, so thank you for choosing Air-”

“Seat belts fastened?” A flight attendant buzzed by, making sure all was ready for takeoff.

Jenna and I checked our seat belts to ensure they were tight enough. As we finished, our hands went for the armrest between us at the same time and her hand landed on top of mine. For several moments I sat there, frozen, staring at our hands, feeling the electricity coursing through my arm, wondering if she felt it, too.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” she tittered, using her electric hand to cover her mouth.

“No worries,” I breathed as I put my hands sheepishly together in my lap.

I didn’t know what to say next, and I doubted that she did, either. We smiled at each other, our faces burning as the plane took to the skies.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I was screaming that we were airborne and I wanted to be afraid, but Jenna’s smile made me feel safe. Of course, she is one hell of a distraction! Okay, she’s not Victoria’s Secret beautiful, but she is my idea of beautiful!

Her company did wonders for my fear of flying. Ordinarily, I spent the entire flight stressed out and gripping my armrests, with my eyes squeezed shut during any turbulence.

Not this time.

We spent the next three hours engrossed in conversation, sharing beliefs, preferences, and tastes. We had a great deal in common. I had never felt so comfortable talking to a girl in my entire life.

However, the more we connected, the more apprehensive I felt. There was something I had held back from telling her because I was sure it would kill any interest in me that she might entertain. Yet, keeping it from her was dishonest. I couldn’t consider allowing anything to happen without opening up to her. At the same time, I had no idea how to tell her what I needed to. Feeling the weight of the dilemma that stared me in the face, I let out a forlorn sigh.

“Are you okay, Dana?” Jenna gently placed her hand on my forearm, unleashing another charge of electricity, unknowingly making things worse.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” I tried to smile, but I could feel the conflict showing on my face.

“Are you sure?”

Before I could answer, we hit a patch of moderate turbulence. The plane felt as though it were riding roller-coaster tracks.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are encountering some turbulence. Please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts. It shouldn’t last more than a few minutes. Thank you.”

I grabbed the armrests, breathing rapidly as my knuckles turned white. Christ, I think I’m shaking as much as the plane!

“Oh, that’s right. You mentioned that you hate to fly,” she remarked with sympathy.

“Y-yeah, I do,” I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my teeth. “M-maybe boarding school wasn’t such a g-good idea!” I tried to joke.

“Well, think of it this way,” she chuckled. “If you weren’t going to boarding school, we wouldn’t have met.”

“That’s true,” I admitted.

“Aw, your poor girl. You really are nervous.”

Jenna gently took my hand, raised the armrest between us and slipped her other arm around me to comfort me, making me respond in all kinds of ways. I loved having her arm around my shoulders, where I could swear it belonged.

“Th-thanks.”

“You’re welcome. It’s okay, we’re perfectly safe. The ground is over six miles away. We’ve got plenty of space to move around.”

My smile fled my face as I tensed.

“T-try not to t-tell me how f-far up we are,” I tried to giggle.

“Oh, okay. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.”

We spent several minutes with me in her embrace, as the plane soared and dipped. While I held on to Jenna for dear life, I wrestled with the angst that riddled me. She was a great girl but I had terrible trouble believing that she would be romantically interested in someone like me.

When the flight steadied, I took a big breath of relief, but Jenna held on for a few more moments — not that I minded. Gradually, I smiled at her.

“Thanks. I needed that. I really am scared of flying!”

“No problem at all. I could tell how frightened you were.”

“Yeah,” I sheepishly lowered my eyes.

“Anyway, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Me?” I looked back into her eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sure I’ll survive the flight,” I joked.

“I wasn’t talking about that, silly. I was talking about the look on your face right before the turbulence started.”

Oh shit. “Oh, that? Um . . .” Holy shit, what the hell do I say?? “Okay, um . . .” I took a nervous breath. “When we . . . when we put our hands on the armrest at the same time and . . . y-your hand was on top of mine, um . . .” I hesitated, looking down again, doubting very much that finishing the question was a good idea.

“Oh my God, you felt it, too?” Her face visibly brightened while mine probably filled with more angst.

“Well, w-what did you feel?” I looked back at her.

“Electricity,” she grinned.

“I felt it, too. It was amazing. That was why I froze up. I’ve never felt anything like it. Ever.”

“Me either!”

“Yeah . . .” I trailed off.

“So . . .” Her smile dimmed like a dying flame. “What’s wrong, Dana?”

Aw, God! I don’t know what to say!

“Oh! I see!”

Jenna got a sneaky look on her face as she leaned over to whisper in my ear.

“It’s okay. I like girls!” She smiled conspiratorially.

Oh no! She thinks I’m a girl! Oh shit! I looked down at my lap. Well, I am a girl, but-

“Dana, what is it?” Jenna put a gentle hand on my shoulder and softly rubbed it.

Damn, that girl could jump-start a car with her hand!

“It’s complicated,” I answered, still unable to look her in the eyes.

“Wait a second!” Jenna leaned close to whisper again.

“Are you a guy?”

I could only bite my lip as I looked up to stare into her beautiful blues. Unfortunately, any possible answer to that question was a half-truth at best. As I struggled to answer her, I felt intense pressure as though I were defusing a bomb.

“W-well . . . that’s what my birth certificate says,” I whispered.

Jenna’s eyebrows rose at my curvy answer to her straightforward question.

“What do you mean?”

“P-please. N-not here.”

I stared at her with a terrible sinking feeling as I realized that my appearance had confused her and I had failed to see it until now.

At the ripe old age of fourteen, my voice had yet to crack. I was small for my age and I had grown my golden-brown hair to my collar bones. My hair elastic had snapped while I readjusted my hair before I boarded the plane. I had spares only in my checked luggage, now in the belly of the plane.

I had almost outgrown the boot cut, tan corduroys I had inherited from an older brother with longer legs. The pants were snug around my waist and thighs but loose around my lower legs — and they hung all the way to my shoes. They looked outright feminine on me.
The pale yellow sweater I wore gave no indication of gender. In the context of my long hair and girly-looking pants, the sweater looked feminine, too!
Suddenly, Jenna softly gasped.

“Wait, you’re not . . . transgender, are you?” she whispered in a worried tone.

I took a resigned breath before I answered, “Yes, Jenna. I am.”

Her face paled at my words.

Without warning, the plane dropped before lurching sharply to one side or the other.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve hit another patch of turbulence and this one’s a bit worse than the last one. There are storms ahead and we’re going to have to fly around them. Please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts securely across your lap. Thank you.”

I grabbed the armrests again, squeezing my eyes shut and whimpering. For several seconds, Jenna was quiet.

“Dana, come here. Please.” I felt her take my upper left arm and gently pull it toward her, but between the turbulence and Jenna’s cool reaction to my transgender status, I was too overwhelmed to move.

“Dana, whatever else happens . . . don’t make yourself go through this alone. Okay?”

The plane did some interesting acrobatics and I lunged for her, throwing my arms around her.

“It’s okay, Dana. We’re okay.” Suddenly, she tensed. “I-I mean, the . . . the plane’s okay,” she hastily added, briefly closing her eyes.

The plane dropped again before veering sharply to starboard. I yelped as I tightened my grip on her. Jesus! I hope to hell we’re okay! The plane leveled out — after abruptly slumping harshly to port — and soared upward.

Finally, the flight smoothed, the turbulence reduced to mild bumps. Jenna let go of me - and I knew that something had changed. She was still friendly, but the flirt had fled from her. The sparkle I had seen in her eyes had vanished.

“Jenna, I-I’m sorry I clung to you like that. I-”

“It’s really okay. I’m happy to help,” she smiled.

Yet, she pulled away, keeping a friendly distance.

Suddenly, the plane bounced in the air. I gasped as I grabbed the headrest in front of me, leaning my head against it, almost in crash position.

This time, a flight attendant was caught unawares as the cabin floor dropped out from under her while she passed us. She appeared to be suspended a foot in the air for several seconds before landing on her butt in the aisle. Fortunately, she was uninjured.

“Well, that was interesting!” She tried to make a joke and remain professional, though she was visibly shaken.

“Can I get you a drink, stewardess?” an old man kidded her.

“No thanks! I’m on duty!” she smirked. “But as soon as I get off this plane . . .” I heard her finish under her breath.

“Are you okay, miss?” she asked, turning to me.

Um, awkward!! Well, correcting her on it will only create more problems than it’s worth!

“Y-yes, I’m okay, thank you. I’m just kind of afraid of flying.”

“Oh, I see. Well, don’t you worry, sweetheart. The pilots have extensive training for just this sort of thing. We’ll get you there, you’ll see.”

You would be so much more credible if you weren’t trembling, I couldn’t help but think.

“I know. Thank you,” I acknowledged.

“You’re welcome.”

The stewardess continued carefully down the aisle just far enough to reach her seat and strap herself in.

“You see? We’re okay,” Jenna tried to console me, as I gripped the seatback in front of me.

“I know. Thanks.”

The plane continued to be thrown about by whatever atmospheric chaos we’d flown into.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are in the midst of a severe weather system.”

“Oh, is that what that was?” I muttered, winning a reluctant giggle from Jenna.

“This weather developed very rapidly on all sides and we are caught in the middle of it. But not to worry. I have personally flown through much worse than this without a scrape, so please remain calm until it’s over. As soon as we pull through this weather, we’ll be resuming our beverage service.” That got the entire cabin giggling. “Thank you.”

Nice joke, but still . . . something about that didn’t sound right to me. It’s hard to imagine it getting much worse than this!

As if to prove my point, the plane lurched hard to starboard, jolted sharply back to port and dropped out from under my butt.

Thank God for seat belts!

“Dana? I hope I didn’t react poorly about . . . y-you know. I-I don’t mean to . . . be like that.”

I hesitated to answer her, unsure exactly what to say.

“I-It’s okay. It’s not easy to deal with - for anyone, even me,” I assured her with a sidelong glance.

“Yeah . . . I can’t imagine what it’s like for you.” She paused. “Look . . . I know you’re freaked out right now, so . . . like I said . . . please don’t make yourself go through it alone . . . okay?”

For a moment, I stared at the seatback my hands were still locked onto.

“Okay. Thanks.”

As I released my grip, she pulled me to her again, allowing me to clamp my arms around her. She used the opportunity to whisper in my ear.

“If I seemed afraid when you told me, it was because I figured I might have accidentally led you on. It wasn’t because I have a problem with it . . . because I don’t. I’m not afraid of that at all. It’s just . . . my brain wants a girl,” she explained. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s not your fault, any more than my body is my fault. You don’t need to apologize.”

“I know.” She paused for a long while. “Can we still be friends?”

I gave her the best smile I could muster under the circumstances.

“Of course.”

All I could do was sit there, looking over her shoulder and out the window as the moment sank in. I didn’t know what else to say or do. I had had my hope dashed — some of the only hope I had ever entertained - and I felt terribly insecure about everything. My emotions rose within me and, wishing to avoid further embarrassment, I decided to head to the lavatory to regain my composure.

A quick glance verified that the seat belt sign was off, freeing me to move about the cabin. I released my grip on Jenna as I unfastened my seat belt, rising from my seat, mumbling something about needing the bathroom. I hastened down the aisle toward the nearest lavatory with my eyes watering and my heart aching.

* * * * *

I scurried inside, shut the door, and bolted it behind me. I turned to look at myself in the mirror over the stainless steel sink, hoping to understand what Jenna had seen that had made her feel that she was talking to a boy. Whatever it was, I couldn’t see it.

It seemed so cruel. I had connected with Jenna in ways I never knew were possible. I could talk to her without feeling overwhelmed by my own nerves. She had made me feel desirable as a human being.

Yet, she wanted a girl and, although I was a girl, I had a male body. That should not have mattered at such a young age but it did.

Granted, I barely knew Jenna, but I felt that life had dangled before me the biggest, juiciest, tastiest carrot conceivable only to yank it away.

Like being transgender isn’t hard enough?

Still staring into the mirror, I saw the tears running down the cheeks of my reflection as I began to cry. Once I started, I just wanted to cry harder. I uttered a plaintive groan of pure frustration as I allowed my emotions to surface.

For a while, I simply let them come. I lost track of time as I vented. I had just begun to wind down when I heard a tenuous knock on the lavatory door, making me scramble to dry my face.

“I-I’ll be right out!” Shit. I really could have used more time.

“Dana?”

I looked at the lavatory door for a moment, somewhat surprised to hear Jenna on the other side of it. Hesitantly, I slid back the bolt and eased the door open.

Jenna took one look at me and, judging from the look on her face, she knew I’d been crying. She grabbed the edge of the door, squeezed herself into the lavatory with me and shut the door behind her, shooting the bolt.

“Dana, I know that I hurt you. I can see it in your face. I am so sorry! I never wanted you to feel like this. It’s just . . . knowing that . . . your body is a boy . . . it just threw a switch in my head. I mean . . . shit, I’m totally not ready to have sex and I probably won’t be for years, but . . . it still . . .” She fell silent for a moment before continuing.

“I had a major crush on a girl in my class two years back and it was just like us but the other way around. Her brain wanted a boy and I knew that it wasn’t anything personal but . . . I was still . . . I knew that I’d only just met her and all, but . . . it felt so right and . . . it was just like us! I was just . . . crushed.” She chuckled ruefully. “I’m so sorry, Dana. I can understand how you must feel.”

For a moment, I listened to the silence of the lavatory, my eyes shifting from her face to her reflection in the mirror.

“What’s your biggest dream?”

“Huh?” She frowned at what appeared to be a non-sequitur.

“Some people dream about seeing the world or running their own company or buying a house or . . . making some . . . major discovery,” I shrugged. “Do you know what my biggest dream is?”

“No. What is it?”

“Finding the right girl,” I shrugged. “That’s it. That’s my dream. Most people probably don’t even see that as a dream. They probably . . .” I looked down at my hands, watching my fingers toy with each other. “They probably take it for granted that they’ll find their one and only some day . . . but me?” I looked back into Jenna’s eyes. “I have to dream about it.”

“You can do more than dream!” She took my hands and looked earnestly into my eyes. “I really believe that you can find someone! Just because my brain is wired . . . the way it is . . . that does not in any way mean . . . anything. I know that I made you feel otherwise, but . . . you really are a quality person, Dana. You’re a catch! You make me laugh. You’re considerate and cooperative. You put me at ease. You’re super easy to talk to . . . and to look at,” she giggled.
She looked down for a moment before returning her eyes to mine.

“I really can’t imagine you staying single very long.”

“Thanks,” I looked down at my hands as I felt my face flush. “Um . . . you might want to be careful because . . . you’re kind of . . . making me want you.”

“Oh.” She giggled. “Okay. Wow, um . . . good to know!”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Wow . . . awkward!” She admitted, releasing my hands.

“Definitely,” I chuckled. “Maybe it would help to step out of this lavatory.”

She burst out laughing.

“Yeah, maybe we’d better!”

She unlocked the door, holding it open as I stepped through it. As we emerged, more than one person gave us a funny look. Oh, Jesus. They probably think we just joined the Mile High Club!

* * * * *

The awkwardness hung between us like a cloud of cheap perfume as we buckled our seat belts. For several moments, we exchanged furtive glances, unsure what to do next.

“You know, um . . . m-maybe I’ll read for a while,” I offered.

“Yeah, sounds good. Me too.”

“Right,” I chuckled.

Grabbing my book, I flipped to my place and tried to start reading, but I found it difficult to concentrate. I tried for half an hour before I gave up.

The plane shook its way through another great stretch of unsettled weather, complete with the captain’s admonition to return to our seats and fasten our seat belts, but I was too upset to care. I still felt the blow that life had so mercilessly delivered. I pretended to read my book, but merely stared at the page as I let my mind digest things.

It’s a shame it turned out like this, though I guess it couldn’t be helped. I know that my appearance is kind of a false advertisement. I mean, I’m dressed as a guy, but I still look like a girl. Of course, even if I were dressed as a girl, it would technically still be false advertising because of-

“Dana?” Jenna tentatively asked, leaning close to whisper.

“Yeah?” I looked over at her, unsure I wanted to talk to her.

“The plane’s shaking again. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am,” I replied with confidence. “The turbulence isn’t bothering me so much now.”

“Cool! Good for you!”

“Thanks.” I smiled weakly before starting to sit up.

“What was it like? Seeing the truth for the first time, I mean?” she asked quietly as the plane continued rattling and bumping.

Slowly, I rested my book on my lap as I leaned toward her to answer sotto voce.

“Well, you probably have a fairly good idea, but . . . it felt really good to know what the problem was so that I could do something about it, but . . . at the same time . . . it was scary - really scary — knowing that I wasn’t like everyone else, especially since . . . well, at the time, I could understand that I was a girl, but I couldn’t fully understand all of the implications. I just . . . I had this sense that it was going to be hard and scary.”

“How old were you?”

“I was barely five.”

“Wow. So You’ve known all this time?”

“Well . . . yes and no. I went to an all-boys grade school and I had to be boyish to survive. It was enough to make me doubt what I thought I knew and repress my true female self. By the time this summer came around, I started having trouble with that and I started seeing a therapist to help me straighten it all out and by the time school started, I could finally see again that I really am a girl. Of course, now I’m enrolled at Middlebrook as a guy, so I can’t just start dressing as a girl, no matter how much I would love to do that.”

“Oh, man. That sounds like a very trying ordeal.”

“Yeah. You have no idea,” I trailed off.

I began feeling very uncomfortable being so close to a girl I was so fond of who didn’t feel the same way about me. When she didn’t say anything more, I sat back up to resume reading. Soon, I was staring at the page again, pretending to read.

“Dana?”

“Huh?” I looked back at Jenna to find that she was still leaning toward me.

“How did you . . . know? I mean . . . how did you figure it out?”

“Well,” I leaned toward her, still somewhat hesitant to talk with her. “When I was five, I asked my mother for a My Little Pony for my birthday . . . and I wanted the unicorn. My mother tried to gently dissuade me, but evidently, I got this irresistible crestfallen look on my face and she got me one.”

We shared a chuckle.

“So you knew from that?”

“Not just that, not by a long shot,” I chortled. “I also got a G. I. Joe action figure, which I totally ignored. The only time I ever touched it was when I needed to prop my window open at night for some fresh air. I stood him up and let the window slide down on his head. His head was this soft, rubbery plastic and I got a kick out of watching the window pane flatten his head,” I tittered.

“Oh, wait! I have to take it back! There was one other time I touched the stupid thing. I always hated the look of army fatigues, and his clothes were not removable. Well, one day, I found a bottle of nail polish that a babysitter of mine had left in the little bathroom off our kitchen and I took it upstairs and I painted G. I. Joe’s fatigues glittery purple.”

That broke us both into laughter.

“Anyway, I always wanted the girlie toys and never knew what to do with boyish ones — other than painting them outrageous colors with nail polish."

“Then there was Becky, a girl about my age, who lived two doors down and went to the same pre-kindergarten that I did. Our mothers would take turns watching us according to their schedules. They would both check on us and find me decked out in a princess dress or some of Becky’s street clothes or whatever. Oh, and I traded the glittery purple G. I. Joe for one of her . . . uh . . .”

Hang on . . . I thought I just saw that same . . . flirty . . . no, never mind.

“. . . uh, one of her stuffed animals. She wanted the G. I. Joe so that her doll could marry it. She offered the trade and I just kind of happily went for it. It was like getting free stuff!” I giggled.

“So, I used to spend a lot of time thinking about all of this. For a while, I wondered why I liked all of the girlie stuff and not so much the boyish stuff."

“It wasn’t just that, either. Becky and I thought so much alike, too. That and I wanted a lot of the same stuff as Becky. I wanted the same white roller skates she had — though, of course, my folks got me the black ones for boys. One time, she put these plastic barrettes in her hair and I reached for a similar pair and stuck them in my own hair."

“Anyway, after I thought about all of this for a while, it just seemed logical that I must be a girl.”

“Wow. You really are a girl, aren’t you?” Jenna marveled.

“Well, yeah. I am.”

Jenna went quiet and I smiled at her pensively for a few seconds before sitting up. With a last glance her way, I turned back to my book, thinking the conversation had petered out.

“Dana?”

She still had yet to sit back up.

“Yeah?” I leaned toward Jenna again, just in time for her to move even closer to me. There it is again! She’s got that flirty look again — and our faces are three inches apart! Wait, what the-

“Are you . . . well, I wonder if it’s okay for me to ask . . .” she started.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Go ahead and ask, just stop fucking with my head!!

“Okay,” she smiled dreamily before asking what was on her mind. “Are you on, like, hormones?”

“Not yet, but I am on hormone blockers.”

“Wha- blockers? Oh, are you blocking your testosterone?” she asked, lowering her voice — and bringing her face an inch closer.

“Yeah. So my body doesn’t get all hairy and muscular and . . . just . . . ewww!”

We shared an amused giggle, Jenna moving still closer.

Now we’re an inch apart! Okay, I have got to find out what is going on here!

“Uh, Jenna?” I unconsciously licked my lips.

“Yeah?”

“Um, not to make things awkward again, but I-I think I n-need to ask. Um . . . a-are you-”

With that, she kissed me, squarely on the lips — and it wasn’t just a peck. It was a deep, solid kiss. The plane seemed to disappear from around me — along with everything except Jenna. Her kiss made me feel as though I were floating in the clouds, in the middle of the blue sky, with the sun bathing my soul.

I don’t know how long I remained close to Jenna, our lips pressed together, steeped in love, but I gradually returned to the plane just before the kiss ended.

“Wow, that was out of this world!” I blurted, making us both laugh.

“Yeah, it was!”

“Seriously, um . . . I’m sorry, but . . . I have to ask . . . I-I thought that-”

“So did I,” she confessed. “I’m not entirely sure how, exactly, but . . . that switch that was thrown in my brain?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, somehow . . . it got thrown back.”

“Really??” I smiled brightly.

“Yeah.”

“You’re sure?”

“I just kissed you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you sure did.”

“Uh huh,” she kidded me. “Seriously, now, I don’t know why . . . I-I just know that . . . while you were telling me about the things you said and did and felt, I saw the girl that you are and I realized that . . . she makes my heart do somersaults, and . . . I really do want to be with her.”

“Well . . . um . . .” Finding myself short of words, I kissed her right back, flying right out of the plane, rocketing through the heavens and coming slowly back.

“You . . . you make my soul leap into the air and . . . soar . . . and I want to be with you, too.”

That brought about a third kiss, which the friendly flight attendant put an end to.

Gee, I guess we’re past the turbulence!

“Ahem! I-I’m sorry to interrupt, but would you care for a beverage?”

How the hell did I not notice a big, noisy beverage cart with a squeaky wheel trundling up behind me — plus a couple of flight attendants? Oh well!

“I would love a Diet Coke, please!” I admitted.

“Same here, please!” Jenna echoed.

The stewardess handed us our drinks with a wry smile on her face before asking if we wanted peanuts, which we turned down.

Finally, she moved on down the aisle, leaving us in peace.

“Well, here’s to you!” I toasted.

“And to you!” she responded, sealing the toast with a kiss before sipping from her drink, eyeing me over the rim.

Is this really happening to me? This is really happening to me! Gawd, it feels good!

* * * * *

Jenna and I spent the last hour of the flight free of turbulence, talking and planning our first date. We decided we would steal enough food from the dining hall for a picnic, find a nice spot in the woods to eat and . . . whatever. I couldn’t wait — and judging from the look on her face, neither could she.

We were still chatting, smiling and holding hands when the plane safely touched down in Boston. Our conversation trailed off as we taxied toward the terminal.

“You know what, Jenna?”

“What’s that?” she smiled.

“I don’t think I’m afraid of flying anymore.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! I guess . . .” I looked up at the ceiling for a moment. “I guess I was focusing so much on unpleasant possibilities that I couldn’t see the pleasantries right in front of me.”

“That’s a good way of looking at it.”

“Yeah . . . okay, well, airplane food is not terribly pleasant,” I snickered, making Jenna giggle. “But you certainly are.” I stroked her hand as I watched her face glow. “Even before I met you, I still had a good book to read and sometimes a good movie . . . and if not for my fear of flying I might have been able to appreciate the thirty-five-thousand-foot view out the window which you really can’t get anywhere else.”

“Wow. You’re deep.” Jenna half-kidded.

“Thanks. I guess that’s what happens when you spend your life thinking more than socializing. Well, until now. Now,” I gently stroked her hand, “there will be chatting, dating . . . romancing . . . and . . .” I kissed her passionately.

A soft chime overhead, followed shortly by the sound of seat belts unfastening, announced our arrival at the gate.

“Well, are you ready?” I smiled at her.
“With you in my life? I’m ready for anything!”

THE END

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Wrong Number

Author:

Mona Lisa

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Wrong Number

Mona Lisa

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Wrong Number Part 1

Author:

Mona Lisa

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Teenage or High School

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Hair Salon / Long Hair / Wigs / Rollers

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WRONG NUMBER
PART I: The Wrong Number

How extraordinary it was what a simple mistake could bring about! I had intended to phone my schoolmate and casual friend Matt about a homework assignment when my life took a decidedly unexpected turn. I dialed Matt’s number without paying too much attention since I knew it without having to look it up. The phone was answered after the third ring.

“Hello?”

Hey, that’s not Matt. That’s a girl’s voice! Oh shit, does Matt have a girlfriend? I didn’t know about that, the sly devil!

“Oh, er, hi. Is Matt there? I’m hope I’m not int--”
“Who the hell is Matt?”

I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. The girl’s remark had absolutely smashed my funny bone. I struggled to recompose myself.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude to you,” I said between giggles. “It’s just that your reply struck me as hysterically funny.”

I finally noticed that the girl was laughing, too.

“Oh, that’s okay. That remark was kind of rude, really.”
“That’s all right. Anyway, it looks like I dialed the wrong number.”
“No problem. It happens.”
“Well, I guess I’ll let you get back to… your life.”

Now it was the girl who was giggling at Kelly.

“You sound like a lot of fun. What’s your name?”
“I’m Kelly. How about you?”
“I’m Keri. It’s nice to sort of meet you!”

We both chortled into the phone.

“You too. So, Keri, it is all right if I ask you a personal question?”

She paused for a moment to consider.

“Why not? I don’t know you from a pile of dog shit, so what do I care?”

The laughter continued.

“You really crack me up! If you don’t mind my saying so I’m glad I got to talk to you. I hope I don’t sound like a sleazy creep. I swear to God I’m not!”
“Thanks for the compliment.” Keri paused as she realized the implications of what Kelly was saying. “How old are you?”
“I’m fifteen. How about you?”
“I’m fourteen. Hmmm. Okay, so at the worst, you’re only a teenaged sleazy creep.”
“I am not a creep!”
“Don’t worry, I believe you. I don’t know why I should, really, but I do.” She shrugged. “Eh, call it a girl’s intuition.”
“Okay. That works for me. You realize I’ll have to take your word for it that you’re fourteen, too, and not some slimy older child abuser.”
“Hey, you take that back!”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to insult you.”
“I know. I’m just kidding.”
“Oh, okay.”
“So, Kelly, right?”
“Yup, that’s right.”
“What are you wearing, anyway?”

We both erupted in laughter. It was a damned good thing she couldn’t see my face. It had turned red as a fire engine. Shit. What should I do, lie to her? No, I promised myself I would never lie to a girl. Of course, I don’t know this girl and I’ll never see her again. Then again; by that same token there will be no harm done if I tell her what I’m really wearing. The question is whether she’ll believe it.

“Kelly? Are you still there?”
“Er, yeah, I’m here,” I stammered.
“So, what are you wearing? I take it from your silence that it must be juicy-looking —- and I’ll just bet I wish I could see it, too!”
“Er, well, that really depends on how open-minded you are.”

Keri’s eyes were as big as satellite dishes. She answered slowly and with a pensive undertone.

“No shit! Well, now you’ve got me intrigued. Come on, spill it! I’ll tell you what I’m wearing. I’m wearing a purple long-sleeve cotton shirt, a denim skirt with a frayed hem and black tights. Your turn. Come on, now! Be a good sport!”

This was getting interesting —- fast! I took a deep breath and glanced at my closed door.

“Okay. I am wearing a floral turtleneck, short denim skirt, white nylon tights and canvas Mary Janes with flowers on the toes.”

Keri was perplexed — amused, but perplexed.

“So why I do I have to be open-minded about that outfit?”
“Because I’m not a girl.”

Keri stopped was she was doing and stared into space for a moment.

“You’re not?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Okay…” What the hell. I’ll bite, she thought. “So… you’re crossdressing, then?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“Oh, is that all? No worries.”

“Wow, you really are open-minded. It’s nice to know that someone is.”
“I certainly hear that. So, why did you tell me? You didn’t have to. Don’t get me wrong, I have literally zero problem with that. Actually, I kind of like it,” she smiled devilishly. “I’m just curious why you opened up, that’s all.”
“Hmm, probably because I don’t know you from a pile of dog shit and it won’t matter anyway.”

We laughed at my regurgitation of her joke. Keri shrugged.

“Okay, that works for me.”
“Actually, the real reason is that I promised myself that I would never lie to a girl.”

Now Keri was positively tantalized.

“Really? I definitely like to hear that. Mind if I ask what brought that about?”
“No, not at all. Hey, I just admitted to being a crossdresser en femme, so this one’s a breeze in comparison.”
“Hmm, I guess so. Anyway, shoot.”
“Okay. Well, we’ve probably both seen guys lying to girls to… well, get what they want, to put it in the least disgusting terms possible.”
“Thank you for doing so, seriously.”
“You’re welcome. Anyway, they lie to their girlfriends, too, and that just really pisses me off. You have no idea how much that burns my butt.”
“I’m with you 100% on that one, I assure you. How come it pisses you off so much —- that being a good thing, by the way?”
“Oh, thank you! It pisses me off because…” I paused again. Oh, hell. There’s certainly no reason to hold back now! “…because I think they’re very lucky just to have someone and they don’t even know it.”
“You don’t have a significant other?”
“No, I don’t.”
“That’s okay. It sounds like you’re ready to find your next one. How long has it been since you had your last one?”
“Well, actually, I’ve never had a girlfriend. Ever.”

Again, Keri stopped what she was doing.

“Really? You haven’t? Is it because you’re a crossdresser?”
“Really, I haven’t, and it is because I’m a crossdresser. I’ve never been able to find enough confidence to ask someone out.”

Wow. Poor guy. She paused, considering her next words. Should I tell him? Yeah, he’s been honest —- I think -- and someone like him sure as well won’t have a problem with it. Besides, I don’t know him from dog shit, so what the hell!
“Well, Kelly, maybe you should know, since it sounds like you don’t already, that there really are girls out there who actually prefer boys like you.”

Now I stopped and stared into space. I had never thought of that!

“There are really? You’re not shitting me?”
“I shit you not,” she chuckled.
“Any idea where I can find one?” I kidded her.
“Well, actually…” She paused again. “You’re talking to one.”

I smiled, feeling her words buoying my heart with hope.

“Really?”
“Again, I shit you not!” We giggled together.
“Well, I think that’s terrific. I think you’re terrific, actually. Thank you so much for just being alive so that people like me have a chance, however small it may be.”
“Well, Kelly, I guess you’d have to thank my Mom for that one! She’s the one who brought me into this world. I hear it took 47 hours.”
“Well, kudos to her, then!”
“Thanks, Kelly. You know, I guess it’s my turn to admit that I’ve never had a boyfriend either.”
“Really? Is it because of what I think it is?”
“It sure is. I’m into boys who love dressing as girls and I have always been too scared to admit that -- until you called.”

I knew how lonely she must have felt. I knew deep in my heart. I decided that a dose of kindness was in order —- even though I didn’t know her.

“Well, you can rest assured that there are definitely boys out there who would be very glad to go out with a girl like you, who can appreciate us —- assuming there was enough in common, I mean. Anyway, I would know; I’m one of ‘em.”

Keri smiled as a tear slid out of her left eye. She felt a maddening temptation as a positively crazy idea popped into her mind. Maybe she was just that pathetically lonely, but her intuition insisted that I was for real. Still, she felt so afraid that she began to tremble. What if her intuition were wrong about me? She would be beyond crushed. She needed to think. She needed time. Think, Keri, think, dammit!

“So, Kelly, um…” she paused to wipe the tear from her eye. “What are your interests anyway?”

We’ll probably have nothing in common, just watch!

“First let me tell you what I’m not into at all. That would be sports and other physical activities… well, except for one I haven’t tried yet… which isn’t a sport.”
“Oh, I think I know which one you mean.”

We shared a nervous giggle. I hate sports, too. That’s a good sign, but then again, he’s not talking about his interests yet. Not a great sign. Keri sighed, covering her mouthpiece as she did so.

“Yeah, that one. Anyway, let me move on to what I am interested in.”

Keri braced herself for the inevitable. What where the chances?

“Good. I’m interested to know.”
“Well. Okay, er, let’s see. I’m mostly an artistic person, but I have interests all over the place. There are several scientific topics I like to read about, like Astronomy and Seismology. I actually have a telescope, too. If you haven’t seen the rings of Saturn, you’re in for a treat, I’ll just tell you that right now.”
“Wow. I would love to see that sometime. I love inspiring, beautiful things like that.”

I haven’t looked into Astronomy, but it definitely sounds interesting!

“Me, too. W-well, m-maybe I could show you sometime.”

I was beginning to feel a strong desire to meet this girl in public. She could weigh six hundred pounds and smell like garlic —- and dog shit —- for all I knew, but at that point I couldn’t have cared less. It wasn’t that I was pathetic enough to take whomever I could get. There was just something about this girl I couldn’t put my finger on.

“A-anyway, my first and foremost passion in this life —- since I’m still single,” I tittered into the phone, “is music. I love music. I play it, I can sing it, and I also write it.”

Keri sat bolt upright. No way! We have the same passion!? Keri's idea banged around in her head, refusing to be ignored.

“I–I love music, too! I love it more than anything, since I’m still single, too,” Keri stammered to contribute.
“Cool!”

That time, we were both too nervous to giggle. I noticed that she had mentioned her kindred passion for music very quickly and enthusiastically. She sounded interested… but, of course, I had no idea what in the hell I was doing when it came to romance.

“S-so, Keri, please tell me about your interests — the other ones, I mean.”

We managed a nervous giggle.

“I’m mainly artistic, too, and I love poetry and photography, but I also have pretty strong interests in Geology, Biology, and a few other things.”
“That’s great! I love poetry, too! Wow, we certainly do have a lot in common. Of course, I’m getting a funny feeling that this might be too good to be true.”
“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”

We were both filled with large doses of hope, nerve and doubt. Keri closed her eyes and tried to garner her nerve enough. Should I really do this? Probably not, but... oh fuck it!

“H-hey K-kelly, um…” She had to pause to steady herself. “I-I d-don’t really know how to s-say this b-but…” She could barely get the words out. “A-are you thinking w-what I’m thinking?” Keri’s intuition was playing tug-of-war with her mind, pulling it in two different directions. It was telling her that I was for real, but at the same time it insisted that it was never, ever a good idea to meet someone in person who had randomly called her on the phone. Her mind clouded up with nerve. She began taking deep breaths. She wondered what was going to happen. Would it be wonderful? Would she be abducted, raped and murdered? Most importantly, could she resist finding out? Well, I couldn’t!

“Yes!” I said it a bit too eagerly, but I supposed that I had nothing to lose -- maybe. I might get beaten up or murdered for being feminine and buried in the woods somewhere, but this crazy, bone-headed idea just might work —- maybe. I rolled my eyes at my own folly. “How should we do this?”

By this point, we were both taking big, deep breaths. I was shaking with nerve.

“W-well, s-somewhere p-public.”
“Yeah. Public would be good. Maybe a mall.”

I was trembling more than I had been during the last earthquake I had been in!

“Yeah, yeah, a-a mall is good.” Keri closed her eyes and took another breath. “U-um, w-w-when do you w-want to…” she trailed off, taking another deep breath.

“Good question. How about Saturday?”

That would give us three days to think things over. Keri liked that. She relaxed a bit, knowing that she had time to think. She realized that part of her wanted to meet right then, but no, it would be better to wait. Her mind cleared up enough to think of a thing or two.

“Yeah, Saturday’s… Saturday’s good. How about noon?”
“Noon sounds good.”
“Okay.”

She took another deep breath.

“Which mall should we go to?”

Keri tried to think of a mall that was nowhere near where she lived. There was a mall across town that she knew would be thronged on a Saturday at noon.

“How about Spruce Village?”
“Okay, that sounds good.” I took a very deep breath. “Okay, Saturday at noon at Spruce Village? Should we meet in the food court?”
“Yes, there should be plenty of people there.”
“Yeah. Wow, are we really doing this?”
“Yes, we are,” she confirmed her intent to show up.

Keri understood that the true reason for her fear was that she was going to go through with this. Otherwise, there would be nothing to fear. She could simply hang up -- even if the idea of hanging up filled her with more nerve that she might pass up on something wonderful. I can’t believe I’m going to do this. This is profoundly stupid of me!

“Hey, um, Keri, how will we recognize each other?”
“Oh, good question. I hadn’t thought of that.” My mind is too full of thoughts of assault and premature demise -— or having my heart broken.

She tried to think of what she would wear, but it proved difficult. Meanwhile, I could hear in her voice that she was positively petrified of taking this chance. I decided there might be a way I could make it easier on her somewhat —- although it could make me a hate target more than anything else.

“I’ll tell you what.” I swallowed. “I am going to come as a girl. I will wear the outfit I described to you a few minutes ago. Do you remember it?”
“Y-yes, I think so. Um, floral turtleneck, denim skirt, white tights, and canvas Mary Janes?”
“Good memory, Keri!”
“Thank you.” She paused for a moment. “Okay, well, um.” She hesitated again. “I’m sorry, um… I’m kind of frazzled at the moment.”

I tried to inject a dose of humor into the conversation to help us both feel more at ease.

“I don’t blame you. I’m feeling kind of mind-fucked right now myself.”

We erupted in laughter. Keri relaxed a bit, but she felt overwhelmed and needed to hang up.

“You crack me up, too, Kelly. Well, um, I think I need to, um, pour myself a double-scotch right now.” We laughed again. “Just kidding. I don’t drink —- yet,” she giggled, and I couldn’t help snickering myself.
“I’m feeling the same way. It’s probably a damned good thing nobody around here has any pot —- that I know of -- because I’d probably smoke it.”

We laughed out loud.

“Just kidding; I’d never touch the stuff.”
“Well, I am glad to hear that. I wouldn’t either. A big drink once in a while will probably be fun, but no drugs, thank you very much. Okay, Kelly, I’m kind of overwhelmed and I think I need to hang up now.”
“I hear you loud and clear. I’ll let you go then.”
“Okay. See you Saturday, I guess.”
“Yeah, Saturday.”
“Okay.”
“All right.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”

* * * * *

At approximately three o’clock the next morning, Keri awoke in a cold sweat. She had had a nightmare about being chased by a faceless psychopath who was always two steps behind her no matter how fast she ran or how many turns she made. She knew that she would not be able to get back to sleep. She got out of bed and began pacing. She walked slowly around her room wrestling with her own mind, second-guessing her decision to meet the stranger —- and her sanity.

Finally, six o’clock came. Keri knew that Chloe would be awake because Chloe was a morning person who usually rose at six. Keri grabbed her phone and hastily dialed Chloe’s number. She messed it up a couple of times before she got it right. Chloe’s phone began to vie for her attention and she picked it right up.

“Hello?”
“Chloe, it’s Keri. You’re not going to believe this…”

Soon, Chloe was fully versed on every detail.

“Okay, Keri, sweetie, you know I love you, but why in the flying fuck are you going through with this???”
“First, I don’t want to make this guy sit in a mall by himself like an asshole. That would not be nice--”
“You are too nice for your own good. He called you; don’t forget that.”
“Yeah, but I was the one who finally put the idea of meeting on the table.”

Chloe sighed with exasperation.

“Okay, what else?”
“Half of my intuition insists that he’s for real.”
“And the other half?”
“The other half says he’s a fucking liar who would do the world an immense favor if he took a long walk off a short cliff.”

They both laughed out loud.

“Okay, any other reasons?”
“Three, actually. You know, it is possible to get a look at him before I actually approach him. He has no idea what I look like since I never told him —- so give me some credit for having a few noodles left up there —- and it would be safe enough just to see what he looks like.”
“Okay, I guess you have a point there. It would be plenty easy to turn around and leave. So what are your other reasons?”
“Well…” Keri paused to collect her thoughts. “This one’s awkward because it’s something nobody in this world knew about until I told Kelly about it last night.”
“If that’s really his name.”
“Yeah. If that’s really his name.”

Keri began to doubt herself.

“Okay. Sorry, I interrupted. Please do tell.”
“Okay. What I revealed to Kelly last night is that I am into guys who love to dress as girls and–“
“You are? Seriously?”
“Yes, I am. I prefer them quite a bit to the big, brainless apes who would never do such a thing. Please don’t laugh at me.”

Chloe shrugged.

“I won’t. That’s fine. I have no problem with that. Lots of people have secret preferences, you know. It’s certainly harmless.”
“Really? What’s your secret preference?”
“I like hairy backs. Don’t ask —- and please don’t tell.”
“Okay, I won’t. I don’t care anyway. It’s like you said, just a harmless secret preference.”
“Right.”
“Anyhow, I’m glad you don’t mind these things because Kelly is a crossdresser. In fact, he will be dressed as a girl when we meet him.”
“Wow. Okay. So you’re sure you’re going to go to the mall and meet this guy dressed as a girl on Saturday at noon?”
“I’m ninety-nine and a half percent sure that I want to do this, yes.”
“Then I am absolutely coming with you and I will not take no for an answer.”
“No worries. I’m glad you’re coming.”
“Okay then, that’s settled. We should probably ask others to come, too.”
“I thought about that, but if this guy is for real, he might be humiliated. By the way, speaking of the possibility he’s for real, do you know how hard it is to find a guy who loves to dress as a girl?”
“It’s probably really damned hard. I mean, sure, lots of them play around with it at Halloween or a fraternity initiation or something, but that’s not the same as loving to dress as a girl.”
“Exactly. So, that’s my other reason for doing this.”
“Okay, fair enough. You may yet have one or two marbles left in the game.”
“Well, one of them is probably a gum ball or something.”

The shared a laugh.

“All right then, sweetie, Saturday at noon it is. Want me to pick you up?”
“That would be great, Chloe. It's probably a good thing that I'm not enough to drive. In my current state of mind, I’d probably drive into a house.”

They cackled merrily at Keri’s early dementia before they said their goodbyes and hung up. As soon as Keri put her phone down on her desk she realized that Chloe would be a total surprise to Kelly —- and she didn’t have his phone number to tell him. Then again, Kelly just might bring a friend, too…

* * * * *

I was every bit as much of a mess as Keri was. I couldn’t stop shaking whenever I thought about meeting her. Telling her about my secret over the phone was one thing, but going to a mall dressed as a girl was entirely different. I had dressed as a girl many times before, and I had even grown my hair to my shoulders to perfect the look, but I had never left the house en femme! I had no idea what to expect, and I was very scared to find out.

Shortly after I hung up with Keri, it occurred to me that I should probably have a friend or two come with me. After all, Keri could be part of a family of con-artist psychopaths. There was even a real series about that very thing on TV. For all I knew, Keri could have been 112 and had a young voice. My intuition, however, obstinately refused to let it go. During the entire conversation Keri had felt truly real to Kelly. Keri would have to be a better actress than Vanessa Redgrave to pull off that kind of realism. Still, the chances of Keri being real were equally minuscule. Of course, I had called her, not the other way around.

I called up my friend Stevie but had no luck. Jamie and Kris were also unavailable. I had one other friend left to try. I called Sarah to see if she could come. I was hesitant to show up with another girl because I didn’t want to give Keri even the slightest impression that I wasn’t being honest with her. If she was for real, it would devastate her. However, nobody else so far could make it and having Sarah was wiser than going alone. Besides, Sarah and I would never work romantically. We had tried but it was a complete failure. I was glad we were still friends, though.

Sarah picked up on the second ring. She had a very unusual way of answering a phone.

“Who’s this?”
“Hi, Sarah. It’s me, Kelly.”
“Hey, honey, what’s up?”

That had become her little joke when we’d found out we didn’t work romantically. I sincerely hoped she wouldn’t say that in front of Keri —- assuming Sarah could come.

In short order, I gave Sarah the full story of my extraordinary experience with Keri, who I hoped against hope was real.

“Okay, okay, hold the fucking phone. You’re going to do what??”
“I’m going to go to the mall, dressed as a girl, and meet a complete stranger I accidentally called who just might murder me for being too feminine. What on earth is the problem?” I couldn’t resist gently jabbing at Sarah.
“You are a meat-head. You know that, don’t you?”
“Yes, dear.”

I continued our failed romance joke —- and made a mental note not to do that in front of Keri, for the love of Heaven.

“So are you coming or are you going to leave me in the hands of fate —- and possibly a psychopath?”
“I should let you go alone. Normally, I would not do that to you. This time, however, I have to visit my senile ninety-eight year old grandmother who doesn’t remember me anymore. I am totally serious, sadly enough. So, I can’t make it. What about the others?”
“I got no love —- other than, possibly, from Keri.”
“Oh, don’t go there, just don’t, okay? She’s probably a transsexual or something.”
“Sarah, that’s not nice to transsexuals.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Do you have a problem with transsexuals? I mean you know how much I love to dress as a girl. What if I were a transsexual?”
“I would accept you totally. You know that. I do not have any problem with transsexuals. I was just trying to… be funny, I guess. It flopped. I’m sorry.” Sarah paused for a moment. “Wait, are you saying that you might be transsexual?”

Dead silence.

“Well I-I was only saying, y-you know, theoretically.”

Really? Was I?

“Okay, honey. Well, look, can you get a look at her before you approach her? At least then you could quietly leave if you don’t like what you see.”

I squirmed as I answered.

“Er, actually, I can’t. I told her what I would be wearing and I didn’t ask her what she looks like.”
“You bone-head! Well, make damned sure the place is crowded. If it’s not, you should leave." Sarah paused as a thought occurred to her. "You know, you might be able to pick her out of the crowd, if you can spot a girl who looks unusually wigged out.”
“You’re right. I might know who she is.”

If she is for real, I might even know it with my heart. Wait, Sarah’s right: don’t go there.

“Okay, Kelly, well good luck with this. Please call me within an hour to let me know you’re okay, will you please do that?”
“Of course I will. That’s actually a really good idea; that way you’ll know to send the police if I don’t call you.”
“Exactly.”
“All right, well I will definitely do that. Well, talk to you Saturday, I guess. I hope this goes well.”
“Good luck… you big dummy!”

* * * * *

Friday night came and I tried to get some sleep, but I was too nervous about meeting Keri. What was really going to happen? Would I still be alive the following night? It was no use. I could not sleep.

Keri wasn’t sleeping much better. She tossed and turned all night, too restless to relax. She finally fell asleep at around three o’clock in the morning, but awoke after another nightmare just before six.

TO BE CONTINUED! COMING NEXT IS PART 2: THE MALL

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Wrong Number Part 2

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

Serial Chapter

Genre:

Transgender

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

WRONG NUMBER
PART 2: The Mall

The big day had finally arrived. I checked my outfit in the mirror. I looked very nice in the floral shirt and denim skirt. I had managed to run my hair through my straightening iron to make it look extra-special. I had done my makeup beautifully. I had decided I wanted to look as good as possible so that I could blend in with the crowd if need be. I felt good enough about my appearance but I stood before my mirror, looking myself in the eyes and trying to figure out what in the hell I was thinking.

Keri dressed herself in a lavender corduroy skirt and a matching, long-sleeve cotton top. She had debated herself over whether to wear hose. Pantyhose would be too alluring if I did turn out to be a psycho. Ironically, going bare-legged posed the same problem: there would be too much skin exposed and this would only draw a pervert all the more. She decided she’d better wear a pair of opaque tights. She picked out a pair of white ones and slipped them on. She stood before her mirror and tried to think of what she would say when she met this stranger named Kelly.

* * * * *

I arrived at the food court and began looking for a girl who would be doing exactly what I was. I didn’t see anyone who matched that description, but then I was two minutes early, according to a glance at my watch. For a second or two, I stood at the edge of the eating area in the middle of the food court, wondering what I should do. Should I stand, to make it easier for her to find me? Should I grab a table, so that we could both sit down? Keri might feel more comfortable with a table between us, at least at first. I decided to choose a table in the middle of the dining area. I knew that I was tired from lack of sleep and Keri might very well be in similar condition. I turned toward a table big enough for four people in the center of the eating area.

Just after I turned my back on the way I came in, Keri and Chloe arrived and began to search for me. Keri pointed out the girl sitting down alone at the table in the middle.

“Chloe, look toward the middle! I see a floral shirt. Do you think that's Kelly?”
“Oh, yeah. I saw a denim skirt and Mary Janes before she sat down. I think you’re right, I think that’s him. Nobody else is wearing a floral shirt, thank God for small favors.”
“Wow, if that’s him, he looks… beautiful. Are we sure that's a boy dressed as a girl? I could swear I'm looking at a girl.”
“I have to admit he does look great for a girl like him. Okay, are you ready to walk up to him yet?”
“Let’s just look for a few more seconds.”
“Okay.”

I sat down, sweeping my skirt out from under me, and crossed my legs. I resumed searching for a girl who would probably look more nervous than anyone else. My eyes focused on a girl standing near a plant. She was looking right at me, she was clearly very nervous —- and she wasn’t alone! She was absolutely beautiful. She had wavy, sandy blond hair that graced her shoulders. She had large, round, gorgeous blue eyes. Nah, she’s too beautiful. It couldn’t be. In your dreams, Kelly. Move along! My eyes hesitated a few more seconds, reluctant to interrupt their sumptuous feast, and I resumed scanning the area. Perhaps half a minute later, I heard someone address me.

“E-excuse me. A-are you Kelly?”

I knew that voice! I would know it anywhere —- and it was coming from the very same beautiful girl I’d spotted near the plant! She was standing right there in front of me! I couldn’t believe it! I had dreamed about being with someone so beautiful, like everyone else, but I would never have believed that it could happen.

My mouth opened a bit and I had to catch myself from letting it hit the floor. I had to fight to maintain my composure as I rose very slowly, staring at this heavenly girl, absolutely dumbfounded. Come on now, Kelly, think this through. She’s probably just a go-between because Keri’s so nervous about this. I’m sure Keri’s probably pretty, but she just cannot be this beautiful, so control yourself. Keri and I were both trembling with nerve and I struggled to say something. At first, all I could manage was a nod of my head as my hands held each other.

“K-Keri?”

Yeah. You wish. There’s NO WAY!

“Y-yes, I’m Keri.”

My legs wanted to collapse out from under me and I grabbed the table with one hand to steady myself. You’re doing okay, Kelly, but remember that she might just be pretending –- no, fuck that. Keri would not send in a gorgeous girl like this to take her place if she was afraid I was some pervert. That makes no sense. Oh? Do you really know Keri well enough to be sure?

Chloe, the clearest-headed one of us at the moment, stepped in to assist us.

“Hi, Kelly. My name is Chloe and I’m a good friend of Keri’s. She asked me to come for safety reasons. I hope you don't mind.”
“Oh, um, th-that’s n-no problem at all. I-I think that’s a s-smart idea, actually.”
“Well, I’m glad that’s going to work out all right. Kelly, you seem a bit doubtful about something. If I’m anywhere near the mark, this really is Keri. There’s no pretense here.”

I was still having trouble believing it. It was just too good to be true —- wildly too good to be true!

“Wow. I-I’m sorry, Keri. It’s just… I-I would never have believed that… that I…” I dropped my eyes sheepishly. “W-wait, let me start over. I’m m-making a fool of myself here. It just seems far too good to be true.”

An uncertain smile appeared on Keri’s face.

“I think I know what you’re trying to say. Thanks, I guess.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“I know what you mean. Also, um…” She hesitated a moment. “You look like a girl and not like…” She stopped herself. “…anything else.”

Her smile broadened enough for me to notice it. My hand was still on the table and I glanced at it as I realized that I should probably offer these two girls a place to sit down.

“Oh, um, I have a table here… would you like to sit down?”
“Yes, I would like to. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”

We gingerly sat down around the table, Keri directly across from me and Chloe to one side. The place was plenty crowded, and it felt safe enough to be there. Still, maybe I should ask.

“Does this place feel safe enough to you?”

Keri nodded her head.

“Yes, I feel okay here. Thank you for asking.”

Keri’s intuition was telling her that I was for real —- or at least it was trying to.

“It’s no problem.” Okay, I want to start talking to this girl now. “Well, Keri, it’s really nice to see you in person. I um…” I momentarily looked at my hands before returning my gaze to Keri’s eyes. “I really enjoyed talking with you the other night. I’m glad I got the chance.”

Keri’s smile was gradually broadening.

“I really enjoyed that, too. I’m really glad you fucked up the number you were calling,” she broke the ice.

We all laughed out loud. Keri and I kept laughing after Chloe stopped. We were probably venting nervous energy. I looked back at Keri’s eyes and had to work a bit not to get lost in them to the point of spacing out.

“Anyway, um, I know that… well, I know that we still don’t know each other from dog shit,” we laughed again, “but, um, I wish there was a way to… well, prove that I am what I claim to be.”
“I know what you mean. I can’t give you my word, since you don’t know me from dog shit, and it can’t work that way, at least not yet.”
“Right, that’s just what I mean. I-I have this stupid feeling like we’re playing some kind of a Chess game or something--” Wait, I can prove part of it, at least. “Well, I can prove…” I glanced around while I cleared my throat. “I can prove the secret I told you over the phone,” I said quietly in my natural voice.

Keri seemed a bit surprised at the change in its pitch, but she seemed somewhat reassured. I had at least proven that I was a boy dressed as a girl.

“Okay,” she nodded, “I now know that part is absolutely true. This is good. You look really good, I have to say.”

I blushed at her compliment.

“Thank you, Keri. It’s good to hear that. This is actually the first time I’ve ever left the house dressed like this, so… it’s really good to hear that. Anyway, you look wonderful yourself.”
“Thank you. This is really your first time?” I nodded my head. “You did that for me?”
“Yes. I was hoping it would help you feel more comfortable. I have wanted to be myself in public for a long time and I guess this helped me find the courage to do it.”

Keri smiled sweetly at me. We both desperately wanted to find some way to verify each other and start having fun, but how?

“Kelly, I need to use the ladies’ room but I will be back… soon.”

I worried that it might not really be the ladies’ room she was headed for… so much as the nearest exit.

“Okay. Please do whatever you need to. I will be here.”

I watched, entranced, as Keri and Chloe rounded a corner to the left, toward the main entrance, and disappeared from view. After a few seconds of staring at the corder she'd rounded, waiting for her to come back, I remembered that I promised to call Sarah and let her know I was okay. I got my cellphone out of my purse and dialed her number.

"Hi Sarah, it's me calling to let you know I'm safe. Fortunately, she's in the bathroom -- otherwise I don't know how I would have gotten the chance."

"Kelly, I'm really glad you called. I know you're not late yet, but I was still worried. How's it going?"

"Great so far. She showed up with a friend and they're for real, Sarah. She was as nervous about meeting me as I was meeting her."

"Excellent!"

* * * * *

While they walked, Keri explained her idea to Chloe.

“That’s pretty clever, if it works.”
“Thanks, Chloe.”

Hell, I don’t think I need to do this. I think I trust Kelly. He just seems so… vulnerable. If he were a pervert he would probably be far more confident.

They approached the attendant of a small booth in the center of the corridor, just out of view from the food court.

“Excuse me.”

The attendant turned to Keri.

“Did you happen to see a girl come through here wearing a floral shirt and a denim skirt with shoulder-length brown hair?”

The attendant thought for a minute until a glint of recognition appeared in her eyes.

“Yes, I think I know the one you’re talking about. Why do you ask?”
“I just met her today. She’s a total stranger, actually. It’s kind of a blind date and I just wanted to try to verify that she’s legit. Did you happen to notice if she came in with anyone?”

The attendant thought for another moment.

“Hmmm. She was definitely alone.”
“Okay, good. Did she look like she was checking if anyone was falling behind or anything?”
“Oh, I think she was looking for someone, as though she was planning on meeting someone here, but I doubt that she was thinking of anything or anyone else. I guess she might have a companion who’s wondering around shopping that she’s reconnoitering with later, but she seemed to be completely oblivious to everything around her. I give it about a 99% chance that she came alone.”
“Good. Thanks for your help!”
“You’re welcome. You’re probably very wise to check it out. You can’t be too careful.”
“You got that right. Thanks again!”
“Okay. Have fun!”

The girls turned back toward the food court. I was still sitting there, looking very nervous, and very much unaccompanied. Keri couldn’t help smiling and I was powerless to resist reciprocating her.

“What do you think, Chloe? Is Kelly for real?”
“I’m really starting to think so. I haven’t seen anything suspicious.”
“Me either. He looks so sweet and vulnerable. A psycho predator would look a lot more confident, don't you think?”
“I’m guessing you’re right about that.”

* * * * *

The girls rounded the corner and headed toward me.

"Sarah, they're coming back. I should go."

"What does she look like?"

"Buh-bye!"

I hung up my phone and as the girls returned at the table, I stood again. The smile on my face must have looked completely goofy. We sat down again and Keri made a small confession.

“I want to be honest with you, Kelly. I wasn’t really in the bathroom. I was talking to one of those vendors in the corridor over there. Specifically, I was asking if she saw you come in with anyone. Apparently, you looked completely like you came alone.”
“That was a very smart move, Keri. Well done! I don’t mind at all. I did come alone. All of my friends are busy.”

I realized I was still holding my cellphone.

"Oh, I did just call a friend to report that I'm safe, though."

She smiled at me. Just as I began to get lost in her eyes again, I remembered that I had my state ID in my purse. I started giggling. Keri was curious.

“What are you laughing at?”
“I just remembered that I do have a state ID card right here in my bag. I guess I’m just feeling a bit mind fucked again.”

We all chuckled at my antics. I picked up my purse and began to fish for my wallet. Keri put her hand gently on mine, stopping me. The feeling so electrified me that I froze, just staring at her hand as another goofy smile commandeered my face.

“I don’t need to see it. But thank you.”

I put down my purse, took her hand in mine and looked up at her.

“I don’t need you to prove yourself anymore either.”

Keri and I had successfully conquered our fears —- but not our nerves. We were still in the company of persons we were very attracted to. Only a fraud wouldn’t feel nervous at such a time. We began sharing more information about each other and filling in blanks. We were both born and raised in the town where we lived. We had plenty of interests in common and enjoyed much of the same music. We discussed our families and the majors we were considering for college. Naturally, we both gravitated toward music. Our conversation wound down and we fell silent for a moment. Then something occurred to me that I found ironic and interesting.

“Hey, Keri, this whole time I’ve been… well, still amazed that this is not turning out too good to be true and…” I began to blush as I continued, looking down at my hands. “Well, when I first saw you, I just thought there’s no way you were Keri. I thought you couldn't be so beautiful. I thought there was no way. You know, ‘you wish’, ‘dream on, lover girl’, and all of that. Anyway, um…” I paused to catch my breath and look up at Keri. “It just seems like… it’s human nature to think that we will never receive truly good fortune, that we will lose out. I wonder why that is. Do we feel unworthy of such good fortune? Is it just too hard to believe that truly good fortune actually exists? I wonder what it is. It just seems like we’re all really hard on ourselves.”

Keri maintained steady eye contact. She took my hands across the table and warmly held them.

“Hmm. That is a very interesting point and I would love to know the answer. I’ve also been trying to rid myself of the feeling that this is too good to be true —- because it does feel that way —- and I know just what you mean. When I saw you, I pointed you out to Chloe and actually asked her if she thought we were looking at you even though you’re the only girl here wearing a floral shirt. I had the same thoughts you did, really. ‘No way, she’s way too pretty.’ ‘There isn’t a chance in hell.’ Actually I also thought you looked too much like a girl to be Kelly. That’s really fascinating that we both felt that way and thought the same things about each other. I think you’re right. People really do tend to be very pessimistic. Maybe it’s because it’s so easy to feel so powerless to affect your own life and change its course. Maybe it’s because we grow up learning time and time again that we can’t always have what we want and we get sort of beaten into a kind of hopelessness. But, somehow, our perceptions get distorted and we start thinking that we’ll never get what we want.”
“Yeah.” I gently stroked her hands with my thumbs. “I think it’s also true that even healthy humility can get in the way. I mean, think about it. Having humility means acknowledging that there is always going to be somebody better or more experienced than you are. A lot of the reason I took one look at you and thought there was no chance was that, well…” I looked sheepishly at our hands. “I’m not as experienced with romance as I would like to be and I swear to God, every time I decide that I like a girl there is always someone more experienced who steps in and that’s that. So, romantically, I always feel about as secure as an igloo in Florida.”

We laughed.

“I know the feeling.”

I gawked at her.

“You —- really, you do? I have to say I’m very surprised.”

Keri blushed and briefly looked down before resuming her eye contact.

“Thank you.”
“You know I think there’s this perception that all beautiful people must surely have had loads of partners, because after all, who could resist? Those ideas are probably wrong a lot of the time. Still, there is a definite speculation that we’ll never be the lucky ones and that someone else is always going to win. Then, of course…” I paused for a moment as I studied our hands. “There are those like me who start out at a social disadvantage--”
“Except for when they’re with girls like me. Then they have definite the edge over the others.”

That just about does it. I’m in love! I smiled brightly at Keri for a few moments.

“Thank you for saying that. It felt really good to hear it.” I paused. “You know, there’s another part of it right there. We tend to think that we’re at a disadvantage when we don’t really know that and sometimes we actually do have the advantage--”
“–and we don’t even know it.”
“Yeah, we get so caught up in all of this, this, this total bullshit that wreaks havoc on our sense of optimism.”

Chloe, who had been silent for a good while as she watched us bloom at each other, finally spoke. We had been sitting in the middle of a food court, steeped in the aromas from all of the cooking going on around us. It was finally getting to Chloe.

“Hey, you two, I’m sorry to interrupt, but are you getting hungry? I’m starving!”

As soon as she said it, my own hunger burst to the foreground of my consciousness.

“God, I am very hungry, too. How about you, Keri?”
“Yeah, I’m really hungry. Let’s get something to eat.”
“You two go up first. We’ll take turns.”
“Oh, good call. That way we keep our table, right?”
“Gee, Keri, you’re smart,” Chloe mocked.

Keri and I rose to take our turn getting a late lunch. As we were chatting about what we wanted to eat, I looked down and notice that we were holding hands. I began giggling and smiled at Keri. She saw what I was tittering at and snickered, too. I’m sure I had the most ridiculous smile on my face. But then, so did Keri.

* * * * *

After Chloe returned with her lunch, we began chatting again, this time with Chloe participating rather than observing. When we finished eating and our conversation trailed off, Keri reluctantly dragged her eyes to her watch. She sighed with resignation.

“Well, I hate to say it, Kelly, but unfortunately I have to go. I’m due at a music rehearsal with my band, and I am severely tempted to blow it off, but it wouldn’t be fair to them.”
“Hmm, you’re right, you’d better go then. I hate to see you go.”
“I hate to go.”

We gave each other nostalgic smiles.

“Well, Keri, let’s exchange contact information.”
“Yeah, the problem with fucking up a phone number is that you never remember exactly how you fucked it up.”

We laughed.

“Yeah, right?”

Keri and I happily exchanged information —- and found out we could have gone to a mall about five miles closer to both of our homes. We laughed about the silly twist of fate as we threw out our trash and bussed the trays. We walked out of the mall together and stopped at Chloe’s car.

“Well, I guess this is as far as I go.”
“Well, did you drive? If not, hop in.”

Again, I got a goofy smile on my face. I had taken the bus! I climbed into the back seat with Keri, leaving Chloe alone up front.

“Where to, ladies?”

I gave her my address and we left the mall. Twenty minutes later, we sat in front of my house.

“Well, Keri, it was really, really good to meet you. I never thought I could possibly be this glad about screwing up.”

We laughed out loud.

“Yeah, it was awesome meeting you, too, Kelly.”

We embraced each other warmly. I went to let go —- but she didn’t. I resumed hugging her, in no rush to stop. Finally, we did pull back, but we held onto each other.

“I know I need to let you go, Keri, but…” I swallowed. “I want to give you something before I go. I hope it’s not inappropriate since we just met, after all, but… I can’t resist.”
“Okay. What is it?”

She had a pretty good idea what it was and she was absolutely right. I answered her by kissing her squarely on the lips. What a kiss that was! How can I describe something like that? I think the answer is that I can’t. What I can say, is that the kiss must have lasted quite a while, because Chloe looked at her watch and politely cleared her throat. When we ignored her, she spoke up.

“Eh, Keri? I hate to break up your wonderful kiss that I don’t envy at all, really I don’t, but um…” She laughed. “You really are running late, sweetie.”

She had us laughing too, and it ended the kiss that came direct from Heaven.

“Okay, I guess I have to let you go now. I will call you, of course. Like tonight.” We giggled. “And I’ll try not to fuck up your number.”

We laughed again and I began to get out of the car.

“Kelly, wait.”
“Yes?”

I sat down again on the back seat and looked back at Keri. She grabbed me and returned my kiss. Chloe rolled her eyes and smirked.

“Oh, Jesus! You two belong in a B-rate romantic movie.”

Yet again she ended our kiss.

“Excuse me? B-rate me, will you!”

Keri’s pun did its thing and she had us laughing again.

“You know, Keri, we really need to get together without Kissus Interruptus over here,” I pointed at Chloe with my thumb.
“Oh, that’s cold,” Chloe retorted. “All right, Keri. We’re out of here! Buckle up, babe!”
“It was nice to meet you, Chloe —- thanks for the ride.”
“Nice to meet you, too, Kelly. You’re welcome —- if you get out right now.”

We laughed.

“Bye, Keri. I’ll call you later.”
“Bye. If you don’t, I call you!”

We gave each other one last wonderful hug and I stepped out of Chloe’s car. I stood at the curb and waved as I watched Chloe’s car disappear around a bend. I let out a very pleasant sigh, turned around, and walked into my house.

TO BE CONTINUED! NEXT IS PART 3: SECOND DATE

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Wrong Number Part 3

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

Serial Chapter

Genre:

Transgender

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Hair Salon / Long Hair / Wigs / Rollers

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

WRONG NUMBER
PART 3: Second Date

On the night of our first date, my sister Tara was playfully teasing me about my newfound romance while I dialed Keri's number on my cellphone. She giggled at me while I began talking with Keri. Keri and I had a really nice talk reminiscing on our first date and revealing everything about what we had feared going into it. At the end of the chat, we agreed to meet again at the same mall.

Our second date was a double-date with Chloe and her boyfriend. Keri and I were not worried about each other anymore by that point, but sometimes you had to do one more little thing to make your inner worry-wart shut the hell up. I was more than happy to make it a double-date. I would have done anything to see Keri again!

I showed up at the mall again dressed as a girl. This time, as a twist of irony, I wore an outfit nearly identical to the one Keri had described herself wearing during our first, fateful phone call. I had on a dark lavender top, denim skirt with frayed hem, and black tights. I wanted it to be my way of saying that the magic was still alive and well —- or that I wanted it to be, anyway.

She absolutely loved it! She wished that she had thought to do exactly the same thing, but she loved that I had. She took one look at me, dropped her jaw, ran over to me and gave me a big mind-blowing hug when she saw me. She looked wonderful herself. She wore a red top, khaki denim skirt and black tights.

We had much more fun on our second date because we were no longer concerned that we might be in mortal danger. We started out with a romantic comedy movie in the theater at the same mall where we had our first date. It was farther from where we lived than one or two other malls, but we were still feeling the magic of our first date and we didn’t want it to end. Chloe and her date, Joe, thought the movie had been dumb and cheesy. Keri and I both thought it was adorable. Sure, it had some campiness to it, but I was an idealist and a dreamer, so I loved it. Initially, I had worried about whether Keri would feel the same way, but I quickly learned that she had loved it as much as I had.

We walked out of the theaters, straining to adjust our eyes to the light and chatting about the film we’d just seen. Keri and I were hand-in-hand.

“What do you mean it was dumb? It was so sweet!”
“I loved it, too, Keri!”

Keri and I smiled at each other and squeezed each other’s hands. Chloe was ready with her answer.

“Oh God! It was unrealistic to the point of ruining it!”
“Y-yeah, I have to agree.”
“Of course you do, Joey. Your girl’s right here!”
“Good zing, Keri! Now that’s something I can agree with,” I encouraged her.
“I bet you loved it, Joe —- you’re probably a girl at heart!”

Keri and I giggled at her little joke. Joe merely blushed and Chloe rolled her eyes and decided to defend her man.

“You wouldn’t think so if you had him alone and intimate!”
“Why, are you two getting hot and heavy?”
“Uh, Kelly, you’re exactly three-quarters of a millimeter from crossing the line, so watch it!”
“Sorry. You’re right. That was a personal question.”
“That’s better,” Chloe smirked.
"Seriously, though, Chloe, why do you think it was so unrealistic?"

Keri wasn't about to let it go.

"Oh, gee, let's see, just for starters, it's a Hollywood script! Come on, Keri, how can you really think that Mr. and Mrs. Right would just happily meet at a department store? It's dumb luck, I tell you -- emphasize dumb!"
"Oh, Chloe, ten days ago you would have said the same thing about us," Keri glanced at me with something wonderful in her eyes.

Chloe mock-growled with exasperation.

"Yeah but how about the part where they get in different elevators to see if they come out on the same floor?"
"That illustrates that we're not always in control and that if we're patient enough, things can still work out. You have to admit, if that girl had waited another five minutes, they would have been reunited. He did choose the same floor, remember?"

Chloe rolled her eyes.

"But she didn't wait, that's the point! She took off -- and I don't blame her at all. I would have, too. I mean, how the hell was she supposed to know?"

I decided to completely derail Chloe in defense of Keri.

"It's not about knowing, Chloe. We can't always know. That's the point! It's about willingness to take a leap of faith. There definitely are times, as Keri and I have proven," I turned to look at Keri, "when you have to take that leap or else you just lose!" I looked back at Chloe. "That would be dumb!" I looked Keri deeply in her eyes. "I would have waited for you for hours, Keri -- if you still didn't show up I would have torn the building apart looking for you! I would have trusted that you wanted to find me, too."
"Awwwwwww!"

Keri threw her arms around me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Chloe and Joe looked at each other with disgust.

"Look, all I will say is this: I just hope that, unlike in the movie, you two don't have some kid in a devil costume showing up in your elevator and pushing all of your buttons -- though you probably will."
"Pessimist!" Keri kidded her friend before giving her a hug. "If I do get a little devil in my elevator then I'm giving him a lollipop and shoving him out at the next floor!"

We laughed at Keri's humor. We walked back to the food court where we’d met and visited the same eateries. While we ate, we reminisced about our first meeting… for exactly three seconds before Chloe and 'Joey' drifted off into their own discussion.

“I still do think it was kind of crazy to come here and meet each other. It is the kind of thing you hear horror stories about in the news.”
"True, it is, but still, we both knew -- don't ask me how but we both knew -- that it would not turn out like that. We took that leap of faith -- and damn, but I'm glad we did!"

We smiled at each other happily.

“You know what, Kelly?”
“What’s that?”
“Remember what we talked about when we met about how people think they can never have really wonderful things happen to them?”
“Yes, of course”!
“That movie we just saw makes the same point. Chloe and 'Joey' over there," Keri raised her voice enough to make Chloe and Joe look over, "think it was lame but not us."
"Yeah, you and I are big enough optimistic, dreaming airheads to think it might actually be possible.”
“Hey, you take that back! I am not an airhead —- though, after last Saturday, I’m definitely working on it!”

We laughed and took a moment to eat something.

“You’re right, though, Keri. Chloe and Joey look at that movie and see some kind of lottery that nobody can win. They don’t even think it’s possible.”
“Yeah. Maybe it’s because they didn’t just have something out of a movie happen to them like we did.”

I reached across the table and took her hand in mine. She reciprocated with her free hand. We smiled at each other until our reverie was interrupted by Chloe —- again.

“Don’t tell me you two are talking about that stupid movie again,” she joked. “Just because you two risked your lives like a couple of complete idiots and it happened to work out of sheer dumb luck, it doesn’t make the movie realistic.”
“I think Chloe’s got a point there, ladies,” Joe tried to defend his date.
“You’re such an ass kisser!” Keri mocked him with a facetious scowl. We all laughed at Keri’s gibe. “Seriously, do you ever disagree with Chloe to her face?”
“Well, I-I--”
“You know, sweetie,” Chloe turned to him, “I can’t remember the last time you did.”
“Well, yeah b-but–“
“Don’t worry, sweets. I’m only kidding.” She took his hand and squeezed it. “I know you just prefer to pick your battles instead of just bitching whenever you feel like it.” Chloe playfully looked at Keri.

Joe seemed very relieved.

“Yeah, that’s right. I know when not to bring something up, that’s all!”
“Bwok, bwok!” Keri teased him by flapping her arms like a chicken.

I couldn’t help laughing at her. Then Keri turned serious.

“Anyway, Chloe, it was not dumb luck that Kelly and I found each other.”
“I don’t think it was luck either, Keri.”

I looked at her intently, clearly communicating that I thought otherwise. Chloe tried to have the last word.

“Oh? And what would you call it, airhead?”

Keri playfully glared at Chloe before responding.

“Well…” She looked over at me. “I would call it intuition mixed with a willingness to take a leap of faith. Granted, it was a leap that very, very few sane people would actually take, but still. I believe that Kelly and I knew intuitively that we should come and all we had left to do was take that crazy leap.”

I felt warmth surround my heart and I squeezed Keri’s hands. My goofy smile had returned.

“That’s just what I have been feeling, Keri. We just knew.”
“Kelly dialed the wrong freaking number, sweetheart, remember? That was a total stroke of luck!”

Keri looked smugly at Chloe.

“It wasn’t a wrong number.”

TO BE CONTINUED! NEXT IS PART 4: THIRD TIME IS... A COMPLETE DISASTER

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Wrong Number Part 4

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

Serial Chapter

Genre:

Transgender

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Hair Salon / Long Hair / Wigs / Rollers

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

WRONG NUMBER
PART 4: Third Time Is A... Complete Disaster

It was only natural that Keri and Kelly arranged for a third date before they parted company —- right after another thoroughly intoxicating round of kisses. This time, it was to be the two of them alone! Kelly was so excited to finally be with the love of his life all alone without that damn Chloe interrupting the best moments. Chloe was a great friend and they got along famously, but her patience could be a tad thin at times. Kelly couldn’t wait to finally be able to let love take its course uninterrupted. What was it that Kelly had said during the second date, something about being a dreaming airhead? Yeah, that was it!

Kelly dressed as a girl again before Keri arrived. Kelly had realized, the previous night, that Keri had seen Kelly-the-girl but never Kelly-the-boy. It was going so well and he didn’t want to risk any problems (irony of ironies). He had gone shopping and bought himself a cute, soft dark purple corduroy jumper with a pale lavender long-sleeve shirt to go under it. He already had a pair of white tights he could wear with it.

She arrived right on time and Kelly greeted her with a long, warm hug at the door. Kelly hadn’t put his make up on —- though he was otherwise ready —- so he led her up to his room. All of a sudden, everything went horribly wrong. When Keri saw his room, she stopped dead in her tracks and her smile faltered.

“Are you all right? What’s the matter?”

She was very flustered and Kelly could tell that she was about to cry.

“Oh my God. You're a girl!”

"W-what? No!"

"I'm so sorry, Kelly. I just didn't expect this to happen. I need to leave! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"

She ran down the stairs and Kelly ran after her.

"Keri, wait! Please!"

She opened the front door, turned around, and tearfully said, “I’m so sorry!” Then the door was closed behind her.

Keri’s sister, Sharon was responsible enough to wait for her sister to get safely inside before leaving the curb. She was about to meet up with her best friend, who was supposed to call her and confirm their plans. Sharon hadn’t heard from her friend and she used the opportunity to make a phone call while she waited for Keri to get inside. Better to do it at the curb then on the freeway. Her friend had answered and had just confirmed their plans when, out of nowhere, Keri ripped the door open, lunged inside, slammed the door, and begged for her sister to get them out of there. As soon as she had her seatbelt on, Keri burst into tears.

Sharon got the icy feeling that her sister’s date had turned out to be a freak after all. Without batting an eye, she did just what her sister wanted her to. She pealed out of there and took her sister home.

Kelly was beyond stunned. What in the hell had just happened? He closed the front door, still in shock and filled with worry that he would never see Keri again. He walked back up to his room to try to figure out what Keri had seen that made her come apart that way. He stood in his doorway, feeling steadily closer to crying, and looked around. The walls were light blue, the bed sheets were white with white embroidered patterns on them. They were old ones of Tara's and were definitely feminine. A few months previously, Kelly had revealed to his mother that he loved them and she very open-mindedly agreed to let him use them. The rest of his room was a mix of male and female, but he had feminized it because Keri seemed to like him as a girl —- or was there another reason?

Kelly had dug out a couple of his old stuffed animals from storage (a small Snoopy and a small, pale yellow horse) and placed them on the bed. He had cleaned up his room, and had replaced his Einstein and Howard Jones posters with a Cyndi Lauper poster and a print of a vase of flowers in an inexpensive frame. It began to dawn on him that Keri must have taken one look at his room and thought he was transgendered! She had said that she liked boys who dressed as girls, not boys who thought they were girls! Kelly gasped loudly as he felt an awful sorrow sweep through his body. He was sure that he would never see Keri again. He could no longer hold his emotions in. He began to cry inconsolably as he collapsed onto his bed, racked with heaving sobs.

He heard his mother and sister hurry into his room to see what was the matter. Tara let her mother do the talking.

“Kelly? Sweetie? What happened? I heard Keri run out the door. Are you crying? Did you have a fight?”
“No.”

Tara grabbed the tissues off of his desk and handed one to him before placing the box on the bed next to them. Kelly's mother took him in her arms and hugged him, stroking his hair. Kelly and his mother both knew that he was not just a crossdresser but Kelly, anyway, had no idea what that meant. His mother had known what she was doing when she allowed him to use Tara’s old bed sheets. His mother understood that he felt a need to explore and decided to support him in the process. Kelly figured that he had a definite feminine side that he needed to express regularly to be sane and that was it, but now he was not so sure.

“Does it have something to do with the way you’ve been experimenting with your identity lately?”

I nodded my head and blew my nose before I answered.

“She took one look at my room and ran. She likes boys who love dressing as girls but now she probably thinks I'm transgendered!”
“Oh no. Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I know how you feel about her.”
“She was so perfect and now I’ll never see her again! I knew it was too good to be true, I just knew it! I’m such an idiot!”
“What do you mean, honey?”

Kelly knew that his mother would never have permitted his first meeting with Keri and he had avoided that problem by "neglecting" to tell her how he and Keri met.

“Keri and I met randomly when I accidentally called a wrong number. We hit it off and found out we had a lot in common, so w-we… we met up at the mall. She brought a friend and I tried to but none of my friends were available.”

His mother was horrified that he had taken such a risk, especially without telling her, but that was hardly the time to discuss it.

“Why didn’t you ask me to come along?”

Kelly stared at her, wondering how on earth she could overlook the problem with a sixteen-year-old showing up for a date with his mother!

“Why do you think?”
“Oh, I see. Ordinarily you would have a point.”
"How about Tara?"
"I couldn't have gone, Mom. I had plans I couldn't have canceled."
“Mom, I know it was nuts to do it; it was just… I knew, Mom. I don’t know how, but I knew she was safe. If I had had any doubt I would never have done it.” Okay, that was a slight fib.

She was unsure she should believe Kelly, but it was not a good time to argue the point.

"Tara, did you know anything about this?"
"Not the part about it being so random, no."
"All right."
"Kelly are you sure that's why she left? It couldn't have been something else she didn't mention?"
"I don't know, Tara, but it sure as hell seemed to be something about this room that set her off."

Kelly dried his eyes and looked up at his mother.

“I think I need some fresh air to try to clear my head and think things through.”
“Okay sweetheart. How long, do you think?”
“An hour or so.”

Kelly's mother hugged him warmly.

“Okay, sweetheart, why don’t you do that. But be careful!”
“I will, Mom. Let me redo my makeup, though. I must look awful.”

Kelly's mother smiled at him and stood up to leave the room. Kelly smiled back weakly.

“You could use a little touch up. Anyway, I’m going to start dinner. It should be ready when you get back.”
“Okay.”
"Care to assist me, Tara?"
"Sure, Mom."

Kelly's sister and mother left the room to head for the kitchen and he opened his desk to get out his makeup. He didn’t need much at his age. He went into the bathroom, washed the mascara and lip gloss off of his face, and reapplied them. Satisfied with his freshened face, he replaced his makeup in his desk and headed for the front door. He paused at the door to shout goodbye to his mother before he walked outside and closed the door behind him.

* * * * *

Keri was too devastated to talk about what she experienced and Sharon drove in silence. When they walked in the front door Keri’s mother saw her face and came straight over to her.

“Keri, sweetie, what’s the matter? What happened?”
“I don’t know, Mom!”
“Go on upstairs and I'll bring you a cup of your favorite jasmine tea, okay?”

Keri hugged her mother.

“Okay. Thank you.”
“Oh, you’re welcome, sweetheart.”

As Keri and Sharon walked up the stairs, Sharon got the feeling that Keri was confused about something and might want some private time to figure it out.

“Hey, Keri, you seem like you need some alone time right now, but if you want to talk about it, please come and get me, okay?”

Keri stopped, reached for her sister’s arm, and led her into Keri’s room. Keri flopped down on her bed in a ball, with her head on her pillow, and Sharon sat next to her, trying vainly to console her.

“Keri, what happened over there?”

Keri opened her mouth to reply and a sob came out.

“Did she do something to you?”
“N-no, she didn’t do anything. I just…”

Keri cleared her throat and a second later her mother walked into the room with the sweet smelling jasmine tea. Jasmine tea had long been a kind of comfort food for Keri. The fragrance and the warmth of the tea had always done a wonderful job of relaxing her. Keri’s mother set the tea on the night stand and Keri sat up to blow on it and take a sip.

“Keri, sweetheart, please tell me what happened.”
“I don’t know. I’m so confused. We went upstairs to Kelly’s room and for some reason when I saw her room I freaked out.”
“What did Kelly’s room look like?”
“Almost like a girl’s room.”
“Any idea why that freaked you out, sis?”
“I don’t know. I just know that I expected to see a boy’s room and something about it being a feminine room just made me panic.”

Keri stared into space, finishing her tea, trying to figure herself out.

“Would you like another cup, sweetheart?”
“Yes, please.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

Keri waited until her mother was downstairs before leaning close to Sharon.

“Sharon?”
“I’m here, sis.”

Sharon rubbed her sister’s shoulders.

“I’m a lesbian.”
“Wow. I can see how it might feel scary to find out something like that. Well, it’s totally okay with me; it’s no problem at all. I love you now matter what, you know that.”
“Thanks, Sharon." Keri hugged her big sister. "I just didn’t know until now. With a room like that, Kelly must be transgendered. I didn’t know that either. I thought she was just a crossdresser. I thought I was attracted to boys who love dressing as girls, but when I walked into Kelly’s room and saw how feminine it was I knew he was really a girl. Then it hit me that I am in love with a girl! I am a lesbian and I was totally not ready for it.” Keri took a deep breath. “It just really sandbagged me.” Keri began to cry again. “Kelly probably thinks that I don’t want to be with him anymore!”
“Oh, no!”
“I really need to call her, but… I’m still a mess right now. I need to pull myself together first.”
“Yeah, I think that's a good idea.”

Keri’s mother returned with a fresh cup of jasmine tea and Keri took it eagerly.

"Thanks, Mom."
"You're welcome, honey."

Keri's mother kissed her daughter on the top of her head. Keri knew the tea would help her calm down, just like it always did. She took her time with her tea, letting it do its magic.

"Could I have some privacy, please?"
"Of course. Come on, Sharon."

Keri's family left to give her some privacy. When Keri finished her tea, she put the cup in the saucer on the nightstand and closed her bedroom door. She pulled her cellphone out of her purse and dialed Kelly's number. She got his voice mail. For a moment, she considered leaving a message, but she decided to try again in five minutes. She paced around her room and tried to think of what to say. When five minutes elapsed, she tried again and got no answer.

She tried again several times during the next hour and got Kelly's voice mail every time. She realized that her number would be displayed on his cellphone and he definitely knew she was calling. She began to wonder if Kelly was refusing to take her calls. Tears began to leak from her eyes again. She threw her door open and ran to Sharon’s room.

“Sharon! Sharon, he’s not answering his phone. I’ve been trying for an hour. He knows it’s me and he's not answering. You have to take me back there! Please??”
“I’d be happy to. Anything for love!”

Keri threw her arms around her sister.

“Come on, let’s go.”

Keri ran down the stairs to grab her jacket.

“Mom! We’re going back to Kelly’s house!”

Keri’s mom came out of the living room to see what was going on.

“What’s happened?”
“Kelly’s not answering his phone and he knows it’s me. He won’t take my calls! I have to talk to him!”
“You go get him, honey!”
“Thanks, Mom!”

Keri hugged her mother quickly.

“Come on, Sharon!”

Fifteen minutes later, Keri leapt out of Sharon’s car and ran to Kelly's front door. She rang his doorbell and waited breathlessly for someone to answer. Nobody did. She rang the bell again and nothing happened. She could swear that she smelled food cooking. She rang the bell one last time and tried to look into the house through a narrow window next to the door. She couldn't see anyone and she didn't hear anything. What the hell was going on? She went back to the car.

TO BE CONTINUED! PART 5: TURN FOR THE WORST

Author's note: This part and ensuing ones are narrated in the third person rather than first person. It avoids confusion this way! :)

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Wrong Number Part 5

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

Serial Chapter

Genre:

Transgender

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Hair Salon / Long Hair / Wigs / Rollers

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

WRONG NUMBER
Part 5: Turn for the Worst

“Sharon, nobody’s home! Shit, I have to talk to her! Let me try to call her one more time.”
“Okay.”

Keri sat down in the car, pulled out her cellphone and dialed my number. This time somebody answered -- somebody who had clearly been crying.

“H-hello, um, this is Kelly’s phone.”
“Hi, this is Keri calling. I really need to talk to her. Is she there?”

The voice began to cry again.

“Keri, this is Tara, Kelly’s sister. Kelly had a terrible accident.”

“What?? What happened??”

Keri’s voice became a big lump caught in her throat.

“She thought she lost you. She was out walking to try to clear her head and she was so preoccupied that she walked right out in front of a car!”
“Oh my God!! Is she going to be okay?”

Keri began to cry.

“We’re still waiting to hear.”
“Where is she?? Which hospital??”

Sharon’s mouth opened in horror and she covered it with one hand. She started the car and prepared for takeoff.

“County General.”
“We’re on our way, right now!” She turned to Sharon. “County General — go!”

Sharon dutifully mashed the accelerator and headed for County General Hospital.

“Tara,” Keri managed between sobs, “if she wakes up before we get there, please tell her I love her and I’m coming as fast as I can. Oh, Tara, she didn’t lose me!”

Tara was still crying.

“I will tell her. Thanks Keri. I’ll see you soon.”

Keri hung up her phone.

“She was hit by a car, Sharon! She went out walking and she was so upset because she thought she lost me that she walked right out in front of a car! I’m going to lose her! I knew it was too good to be true!”

Keri completely broke down and began to bawl. Sharon, meanwhile, just wished that someone else could drive the damned car so that she could comfort her sister. Sharon managed to pull a package of tissues out of her center armrest and hand it to Keri.

“You are not going to lose her! You two are meant to be together. You’ll see.”

* * * * *

Tara and my mother sat in the waiting room desperate for news about Kelly. They looked up to see Keri running towards them, with Sharon not far behind.

“Is she okay?? What are they saying??”

My mother stood and embraced Keri.

“We still don’t know, sweetheart. They gave her an MRI and there are internal injuries. There’s something about a serious external injury as well. She’s in surgery now.”

Keri began to cry again, burying her head against my mother’s shoulder. Sharon put one hand on Keri’s back and Keri threw her arms around her sister. Tara approached them and hugged them both. Keri began to wail.

“It’s my fault! If only I hadn’t run out of the house like that! Kelly was thinking about me! It’s my fault!”
“No it’s not, Keri. That wasn’t what I meant when I said she was preoccupied with you. Besides, you didn’t tell her to walk into the street without looking where the fuck she was going!”

Tara covered her eyes with one hand.

“Tara! Don’t you ever say that again! Kelly is human and she was devastated.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean it like that. Nothing is coming out of me right.”

My mother’s expression softened.

“Come here, sweetheart. We’re all very upset.” She took Tara in her arms.

Having her daughter in her arms brought another thought to her mind.

“Keri, honey, you should probably let your mother know where you are.”
“I’ll do it, Keri. You wait here for news.”
“Thanks, Sharon.”

Sharon walked a short distance from the rest of the group and made the call.

Fifteen minutes later, Keri’s mother came hurrying in.

“Hello, you must be Keri’s mother. I’m Anne. You’re very kind to come.”
“I’m Carol. Keri mentioned that your husband passed some time ago and I thought you could use the support.”
“Yes, I’m very grateful. Thank you!”
“Is there any news?”
“No, not yet. We’re still waiting.”

They embraced and my mother filled Carol in on what little she knew so far. Tara and Sharon hadn’t met each other’s mothers and properly introduced themselves. Once the “pleasantries” were taken care of, they could do no more than wait.

The next four hours were the most agonizing of Keri’s life — or Tara’s or my mother’s. Keri spent the first thirty minutes pacing around the room. She was very tired from everything that had happened and she curled up in a ball on one of the chairs. For the next half an hour she alternated between looking at her watch and looking around for a doctor who might deliver some badly needed news. Over the next three hours, she became quite drowsy but couldn’t bear the idea of falling asleep and missing any news. She put up quite a fight to stay awake.

Finally, a doctor emerged from a nearby double door and trudged toward them. Keri’s head shot up when she heard someone approaching. As soon as she saw the doctor approach, she jumped out of her chair.

“I’m her girlfriend. Is she going to be okay?”
“Where’s the mother?”
“Here!” My mother stood and identified herself.
“I am Dr. Steven Goldberg.” He shook her hand. “I have good news and I have bad news.”
“Please just tell me,” begged my mother.
“The good news is that Kelly is stabilized and will recover fully. He has four fractured ribs and he has lacerations to his liver and spleen but we were able to successfully repair that damage.”

Keri began to cry with cautious relief — as did the other three ladies. My mother, however, had to know everything.

“What’s the bad news?”

The doctor lowered his voice.

“I'm afraid that his testes were destroyed in the collision. We’ve had to remove them. According to the paramedics, the vehicle that hit Kelly has a large hood ornament in the shape of a Jaguar, and the damage is apparently due to impact with that hood ornament.”

Keri’s mouth opened and she covered it with both of her hands. Carol put an arm around my mother as the doctor continued.

“Now, I do have one question to ask you. Normally, the next step at this point is to start Kelly on testosterone replacement medication, but Kelly came in dressed as a girl, complete with long hair and everything. If you feel it would be best, we can delay giving Kelly testosterone until you consult with a psychiatrist -- at least, we can for a time. Kelly seems not to have begun puberty yet and it is possible to chemically delay puberty so that Kelly can have more time to think things over. Do you think Kelly might prefer that?”

My mother nodded her head.

“I think it would be best, doctor. You know, I caught a couple of episodes of a soap opera with a male-to-female transsexual character in it whose body, unfortunately, is male to the point of very broad shoulders and a very pronounced jaw and… if Kelly is a girl… and if we can save… her… from that…”

Dr. Goldberg nodded his head.

“I understand completely. Oh, one other thing. If Kelly should go in this direction, she still has enough nerves and tissue for a gender reassignment surgery."
"Okay. Thank you, doctor."
"Do you have any questions?"
"No, I don't think so."
"All right. I'm going to summon the psychiatrist for you.”
“Thank you, doctor.”

Keri could wait no longer.

“Can I see her? Please?”

Tears leaked from her eyes.

“Kelly’s in recovery. It will take a while for the anesthesia to wear off, and Kelly will be groggy upon waking because she has been given a good dose of Vicodin for the pain, but you can see Kelly now. This way, please.”

The doctor led them into a private room, where I was lying in a bed and surrounded with machines, and left to summon the psychiatrist. My mother walked over to me and took one hand in hers. Keri walked over to the other side of the bed. She sat very carefully on the edge of the bed, took my other hand in hers and gently leaned over until her head rested inches from mine.

“Hi, Kelly. It’s me, Keri. I’m here… and I love you. You're going to be okay.”

Keri stayed by Kelly's side, holding her hand and gently stroking her hair. Kelly's mother heard a soft knock at the door and looked up to see another doctor entering the room.

"Anne?"
"Hello, I'm Anne."

She rose to greet the doctor.

"I'm Dr. Eleanor Davis. I'm the psychiatrist on call."

Dr. Davis quietly closed the door behind her.

"Oh, thank you for coming!"

Kelly's mother shook her hand warmly.

“Oh, not at all. It’s my job. Now, Dr. Goldberg tells me that we have a child who is unsure of her gender, is that right?”
“Yes, doctor. Kelly has been exploring her gender for a while now.”
“Can you tell me how long?”
“She's been exploring for almost a year, but there have always been things I noticed.”
“All right. In what sorts of ways has Kelly explored?”
“She has been dressing as a girl around the house for almost a year and she began dressing out of the house as well two weeks ago. Once that started, she began dressing as a girl full-time.”
“Okay. Anything else?”
“Yes. She has begun to redecorate her room, too.”
“Please tell me a bit more about that.”
“She has taken down a poster of Einstein and… what’s the name of that performer?”
“Howard Jones.”
“Oh, thank you, Keri, that’s the one.”
“Did she replace them with anything?”
“Yes, she hung up a poster of Cyndi Lauper and a print of a vase of flowers. It’s pretty cute, if I do say so.”
“It sounds lovely. What other redecorating has Kelly done?”
“She began using some of her sister’s old bed sheets. They’re white with white embroidery and they’re unmistakably feminine. Oh, and a few months back, I let her repaint her bedroom walls to a powder blue color. She wanted to go with a pale salmon color, but I advised her to take it a step at a time and if she still wanted the salmon color we could always repaint again. There was one other thing… oh yes, the stuffed animals. She got out a Snoopy and a yellow horse that she’d had in storage from her younger days and placed them on the center of her bed, against her pillows. I think that’s everything. Anyway, her room looks almost like a girl’s room — and I think she’s just getting started.”

Dr. Davis smiled warmly.

“Well, Kelly certainly seems to have good taste.”
“She does, yes.”
“What can you tell me about Kelly’s social life? It seems that Kelly has a lovely girlfriend.” Keri waved the finger on one hand. “Is this Kelly’s first girlfriend?”
“Yes, it is.”
“You must be very happy to see that happen.”
“I am very happy for these two.”

Kelly’s mother smiled warmly at Keri.

“All right, how about Kelly’s friends? Can you tell me about them?”

Kelly’s mother paused for a moment to remember exactly who Kelly’s friends were.

“Well, she hasn’t really had what you would call a close friend until this last year. She has a few friends that she spends time with, but only one close friend. Sarah is her name, I think.”
“And Sarah is the friend that Kelly made within the past year?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Did Kelly seem like a normal boy growing up?”
“Well… define normal,” my mother joked weakly and the friendly psychiatrist chuckled with her.
“Isn’t that the question!”
“Anyway, she seemed different, wouldn’t you say, Tara?”
“Yes, definitely.”
“Please, tell me more.”
“The first thing that comes to mind is that she has always preferred to have her hair long. It didn’t get this long until three years ago, but it never was shorter than her chin. She was teased for that, the poor baby.”
“I’m afraid that does often happen. Can you tell me what made her decide to grow her hair even longer?”
“Well, about three years ago, she pointed out a girl in a magazine and asked if she could grow her hair like that. This girl had almost straight hair that hung to between her collar bones and her breasts. I was surprised at Kelly's request at the time, but by then I knew something was developing within her so I decided what the hell. People seemed to think she was a girl anyway, so other than at school where the kids knew her — and picked on her — she had few problems with her appearance.”
“Have you encouraged Kelly to explore or merely permitted it?”
“I never rewarded her for it or anything, if that’s what you’re asking. I facilitated her exploration but I always let her decide where she wanted to go, with a few limitations, of course.”
“Such as?”
“Well, when she went back to school last fall, she wanted to wear a skirt and tank top to class -- and I even thought she looked adorable in it — but considering her experiences, I told her to leave it out on her bed and she could change into it the minute she got home from school.”
“I see. What does Kelly’s father think of all of this?”
“He passed on six years ago. It was a car accident. A bus ran a light.”
“Oh, dear. I am sorry to hear that.”
“Thank you, doctor. It’s all right. We’re surviving pretty well.”
“Has Kelly had other male role models?”
“Hmmm. No, the only role model I ever remember her pointing out was Rorie, that girl from that TV show.”
“All right. What kinds of sports does she like?”
“Oh, she doesn’t.” That got a half-hearted laugh out of Keri and Tara. “She’s more interested in dandelions and butterflies than sports equipment.”

The doctor smiled warmly.

“Fair enough! How would you describe Kelly’s disposition?”
“She’s very much the sensitive and emotional type, if that’s what you mean.”
“Yes, that’s what I was looking for. All right, Anne, I feel that there is more than enough here to suggest that Kelly is having gender confusion. It would be best for Kelly to begin regularly seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in gender matters once the injuries are dealt with.”
“Yes, I agree. I think it’s time she started.”
“Good. I can give you a referral for a specialist if you would like.”
“I would, please.”
“All right. Let me write down the contact information for you.”

Dr. Davis handed Kelly’s mother a slip with the name and phone number of a Dr. Kathleen McQuie. Kelly’s mother tucked it carefully into her purse. They shook hands warmly and the good doctor departed.

Keri had listened to the entire conversation in complete rapture. She and Kelly had shared details with each other, but a couple of dates are never enough for the full story. Keri had felt pretty strongly that Kelly must be a girl when she saw her room, and now Keri felt just about certain of it. Until that moment, Keri had no idea how much Kelly had been struggling. She realized how awful Kelly must have felt when she ran out of her house and felt equally awful thinking about it. She realized that Kelly would probably be asleep for a while and she decided that she wanted to do something special.

“Does anybody know when Kelly will wake up?”
“It will probably be a couple of hours, honey,” Kelly’s mother advised her.
“Okay.”
“Is there a gift shop here?”
“Hmmm, yes I think I saw one down near the main entrance.”
“Okay. Good.” Keri grabbed her purse. “I’m going to be right back. I just want to do something for Kelly. If she wakes up--”
“I’ll give her your message, Keri,” Tara hugged Keri as she finished her sentence.

Keri opened the door and headed for the gift shop. All the way to the gift shop, she was filled with thoughts of Kelly watching as Keri freaked out and ran away from her. She remembered how Kelly had pleaded for her to listen. She couldn’t imagine how Kelly must have felt. Just thinking about it made her want to cry. Keri hoped that she would be able to undo at least some of the damage she had inadvertently done.

She found the gift shop to one side of the main entrance and walked in. She found a selection of flowers, stuffed animals, cards, books, newspapers and more. She picked out a colorful bouquet in a vase and turned toward the cashier. She passed by the shelves of stuffed animals and stopped as one of them caught her attention. It was a small, purple teddy bear about the size of a shoebox. It held a small, red plastic phone handset to its ear with one arm and held the cradle with the other one. It wore a lavender t-shirt that had the words “I love my special girl!” printed in an arc over a red heart. It had a big goofy smile on it that reminded Keri of Kelly’s big, goofy smile — not to mention the one on her own face! She scooped up the teddy bear and brought it to the cashier with the flowers. She paid for them and headed back to Kelly.

Keri carefully opened the door to Kelly’s room and found it quiet in there. Conversation had died off and Kelly was still asleep.

“I’m back. Did she wake up?”

Keri hoped that Kelly hadn't awakened to find her gone. That would be all she needed after Keri had run out on her.

“No, sweetie, she's still asleep. Awww, that is the most adorable teddy bear I have ever seen. She’s going to love it.”

Kelly’s mother waited for Keri to carefully set down the flowers and teddy bear and gave her a great big warm hug.

Keri dragged an empty chair right up next to Kelly’s bed, sat down, held her hand and rested her head near Kelly’s. She had no idea when she’d fallen asleep, but she woke to the sensation of her hand being squeezed.

TO BE CONTINUED! NEXT IS PART 6: HEALING WOUNDS

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Wrong Number Part 6

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

Serial Chapter

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Hair Salon / Long Hair / Wigs / Rollers

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

WRONG NUMBER
PART 6: Healing Wounds

Keri gently squeezed Kelly’s hand to let Kelly know she was there.

“Kelly? Are you waking up?”

Keri's eyes began to water and Kelly’s mother sat up and took notice.

“Kelly, baby? I’m right here, honey.”

Kelly’s eyes opened a few millimeters and her eyes slowly moved from one side to the other. Kelly smiled weakly at her mother and looked over to see who was holding her hand. When she saw Keri, she smiled and tried to speak.

“Keri,” she managed to rasp. “You’re here.”

A tear leaked out of Kelly’s eye and Keri wiped it away for her.

"Hi, sweetie! Of course I’m here. I love you.”

Kelly closed her eyes for a moment as her smile broadened. She sleepily opened her eyes a bit wider this time and gazed at Keri.

Keri motioned for the teddy bear and Sharon handed it to her.

“Kelly, I bought this for you.”

Keri held it up so that Kelly could read the t-shirt. When Kelly was done reading it, tears leaked from both of her eyes. Keri placed the teddy bear very gently in Kelly’s other hand, rather than against her broken ribs. Sharon handed Keri a tissue and she dried Kelly’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry I ran out on you.” Keri began to cry. “I’ll tell you all about it later, but you’re not going to lose me, okay?”

“Okay.”

Kelly’s eyes continued to water and Keri lovingly tended to them.

“Keri…”

“Yes, Kelly. I’m right here.”

Keri gently squeezed Kelly’s hand.

“Keri… I love you.”

Keri smiled passionately at Kelly, tears still leaking from her eyes, and very carefully wrapped one arm around Kelly’s head, which Keri softly kissed several times. Kelly’s mother advised her not to try to talk too much because of her broken ribs. Kelly nodded sleepily and dozed off.

* * * * *

There was so much that Kelly wanted to say to Keri, but it would take a while before Kelly regained the strength to speak with any duration. She could speak almost normally, but anything more than short sentences tired her out. She needed to communicate her thoughts to Keri and was too impatient to wait until she could speak them.

While Keri was visiting the next day, she watched Kelly hold her teddy bear with both hands. Kelly smiled at Keri and asked her for something to write on. Keri found nothing in the room and she went back to the gift shop to buy him a pad of paper with a pen. She brought them back to Kelly with a smile on her face.

“Thanks, Keri.”
“You’re very welcome, sweetie.”
“Keri, I have a lot to say and I’m going to write it all down.”

Kelly paused for a rest. Keri smiled at her and gently stroked her cheek with one hand.

“That sounds good. Visiting hours are almost over, so I’m sure they’ll drag me out of here anyway — but I’ll be back tomorrow morning. You don’t have to worry about that!”

Kelly smiled dreamily at her.

“I won’t.”
“Good. Is there anything else I can get you before I go?”

Kelly shook his head.

“No thanks.”
“Okay.”

Keri continued to caress Kelly’s cheek. For a moment, they were lost in each other’s eyes, but then the nurse walked in to announce that visiting hours were over.

“Interrupted again,” Kelly managed to joke. “We really need some privacy!”

Keri giggled at him.

“Yeah, you’ve got that right!”
“You two are too much! Now, let Kelly get some rest. I'll give you a few more minutes but that's it!”

They thanked the nurse for the extra time as she checked everything over and left. Kelly motioned for the pad of paper and Keri handed it to him.

“I can’t wait to read it!” She smiled at Kelly with love in her eyes. “Good night, sweetie!” She kissed Kelly’s forehead and Kelly kissed her hand.

“Good night, Keri. I love you.”
“I love you too.”

Keri kissed Kelly’s hands, got up and headed for the door. She paused in the doorway to exchange one last smile with Kelly and then she was off.

Kelly began to write down what he had been dying to tell Keri.

Hi, Keri

I want to start by saying that the sight of you sitting right by my side when I woke up was the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m so glad that I still have you in my life that there is no way to put it into words.

When you left my house so suddenly I thought sure that I would never see you again. I was absolutely devastated, I really was. Anyway, after you left, I went back up to my room to try to figure out what the hell went wrong. As I stood at my bedroom door, and looked at my room -- my feminine room -- I realized that you must have thought I was transgendered. You had said that you wanted to be with a boy who loves to dress as a girl. You never said anything about a boy who really is a girl. That was why I thought I would never see you again.

I guess there’s no possible way you could have known that I had only just redecorated and the only feminine thing in my room before that was the set of sheets on the bed. I thought I was making my room more feminine for you because you’ve never seen me dressed as a boy and you seem to prefer me as a girl. When I had pulled myself together enough to think straight after you left, I started to think about what you had said. You said that I’m a girl. I started to think that maybe you were right. If I was a girl, then maybe you had left because you realized that you were in love with a girl. Maybe you were a lesbian and didn’t know it until then. I decided that I had to know if I really am a girl or not. That was why I decided to take a walk to clear my head.

While I was walking, I thought about everything I’ve been through in my life and I thought about how I redecorated my room. I mean, I didn’t even know that you would be up there that day. I had redecorated as a precaution, just in case. As soon as I realized that, I knew I had really done it because I wanted to — and I wanted to because I really am a girl on the inside. That’s the last thing I remember thinking about before I was hit. Just so you know, I wasn’t thinking about you when I got hit. I was thinking about me!

Anyway, I’m glad that we’re getting through this together. You know what you were saying about how easy it is to feel that our lives are out of our control and that’s part of why people never think good things can happen to them? I think this little accident of mine is a good example of that. People are probably paranoid that something will go wrong even if something great does happen, so they start to think that there must be no such thing as a great thing. Maybe they're even so worried about things going wrong that they don't recognize a really great thing when one does happen. Maybe they even screw it up because of that. I don’t know, it’s like they think there's no such thing as magic. Just for the record, I still think that the magic is alive and well for us. Magic doesn’t mean that nothing bad ever happens. Love is stronger than the bad parts and that is the magic!

Well, you’ve just left because visiting hours are over, but I can’t wait to see you again in the morning.

With all of my love,
Kelly

P.S. We have got to have some alone time, just the two of us! We’re always getting interrupted!

Kelly was sleepy and she put down the pen and paper. She picked up her teddy bear and smiled at it.

"You need a name. How about... Violet? I like that. Well, good night, Violet."

Kelly kissed Violet good night and fell asleep.

* * * * *

Keri returned bright and early the next morning. She was ten minutes early for visiting hours but she went right up to Kelly’s room anyway. Keri was glad to see her, of course. Kelly was holding her teddy bear again.

“Hi there.”
“Hi Kelly! I hope you’re feeling better today.”

Keri sat beside her in her usual place, held her hands and kissed them.

“I am. My ribs feel less painful.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear that.”

Kelly held up Violet as if showing her to Keri for the first time.

"By the way, I named her Violet. Isn't that cute?"

Keri smiled at Kelly's choice of name.

"I think it's just adorable."

Kelly got a wry smile on her face as she held the bear close to her ear.

"What's that, Violet? Oh, yeah. Thanks for reminding me." Kelly rested. "Violet says you should read what I wrote. Have a look."

They giggled at Kelly's antics. Kelly looked at the pad of paper that the nurse had placed on the nearby table after Kelly fell asleep.

“Okay, I will! Thanks, Violet!”
"You're welcome," Kelly spoke for Violet.

Keri picked up the pad and began to read Kelly’s letter. Kelly watched her smile, giggle, and cry as she read. She watched Keri’s head tilt to one side and watched Keri put a hand over her mouth at one point. Kelly felt so special that she got to be a part of the life of that special girl reading his letter. She smiled warmly at Keri as she waited patiently for her to finish. A few minutes later, Keri put the pad back on the table. She leaned over and embraced Kelly’s head again and kissed her forehead.

“You were right about me, Kelly. The reason I ran out of your house was that I did find out that I’m a lesbian. You’re right that I didn’t know it until then. I guess there were a few signs, like the fact that all four of the people I’ve had a major crush on in my life were girls -- including you, of course! With you, it's much more than a crush, though!"

Kelly smiled up at her.

"Anyway, I think it’s also fair to say that the way I thought I was attracted to boys who love to dress as girls was another big red flag — or should I say a big rainbow flag?”

Keri and Kelly giggled at Keri’s little joke, but Kelly had to stifle her laughter.

“Oo, careful about making me laugh. Ow!”

“Oh, geez! I’m sorry about that!”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not.”

Keri smiled down at Kelly.

“Kelly I am so sorry that I left you feeling so devastated when I ran out of your house. I really wish I could take that back, but I know I can’t. I’m really, really sorry!”

Keri kissed Kelly’s forehead a few more times.

“It’s okay. You’re a human being.” Kelly paused to rest her ribs. “You’re allowed to make mistakes.” Kelly paused again. “Sometimes mistakes hurt, but…” Another pause. “…that’s part of life.”

Kelly had to stop talking.

“Thanks, Kelly. It’s nice to hear that. Maybe that is another part of our ongoing discussion about good fortune, too, you know? We grow up being graded on our academic performance, having our behavior groomed by our parents and being ragged on by our friends. I mean, every part of society seems to point out our mistakes in some way and it sends us all these messages that mistakes aren’t okay. I think we start to believe that we’re somehow not acceptable if we make mistakes — or if we make too many. Maybe that’s part of what makes people doubt that really good things can happen.”

“I think you’re right.”

Kelly smiled up at her. For a moment, they just enjoyed Keri’s warm embrace. It was interrupted by the arrival of Kelly’s mother and sister. Kelly playfully rolled her eyes as Keri giggled at her.

“Hi, baby!”
“Hi sis! Mom and I brought you a few things to make you feel more comfortable.”

Kelly rolled her head briefly to see what Tara had brought. It appeared almost as though they had brought Kelly’s entire cosmetic collection! She recognized all of her makeup and most of her hair accessories. They had even brought some earring studs.

“Thanks, you two!”
“You’re welcome, honey,” Kelly’s mother answered for them both.

Tara noted the way Keri was embracing Kelly and got the feeling that she and her mother had interrupted something.

“Well, Kelly, I guess I’ll let Keri do your face for you.”

Tara smiled down at her sister. Kelly looked up at Keri.

“What do you say?”
“I would be happy to put your make up on!”

Tara handed Keri the bag full of cosmetics that she and her mother had brought.

“Kelly, baby, how are you feeling this morning? Are you feeling any better?”
“A little bit. The ribs feel a bit better.”
“I’m very glad to hear that.”

Kelly’s mother looked at her warmly as Keri began to apply mascara to Kelly’s lashes.

“Make me pretty!”
“I'll make you super pretty, Kelly!”

Kelly smiled up at the girl of her dreams.

“Please call me Rorie.”

Keri paused with the mascara wand in mid-air as her eyebrows raised themselves and a smile appeared on her face.

“After that girl in that TV show Gilmore Girls?”
“Yes.”
“I love that show, by the way!”
“I do, too. I just hope they don’t make her turn out a junkie.”

They giggled again and Kelly winced.

“Er. R-rorie, baby, please be careful about laughing. I know your ribs still hurt.”

Rorie rolled her eyes again.

“Do you really want to be called Rorie? I’ll be happy to do that.”
“So will I, sis!”
“Yes, please! Call me Rorie.”
“All right then, that’s settled.”

Something occurred to Tara and she asked Rorie about it.

“Hey Rorie, um…” she hesitated a moment, uncertain exactly of what Keri was aware. Then again, Keri hadn’t batted an eye when Rorie made her request. “…well, does this mean that… you feel that you’re… a girl?”

Kelly smiled at his family.

“Yes. I am a girl. It became clear right before I got hit.”
“Well, Rorie, I am so glad that you’ve found clarity, though it might have been nicer without the hospital visit.”

Rorie’s mother smiled at her, reached out and held one of Rorie’s hands in her own.

“So am I, Mom.”
“I’m glad, too, sis! I’m excited to have a new little sister!”

Tara gave her new sister a gentle peck on her hair as she dozed off again. Keri had finished the makeup job with a bit of lip gloss, and had picked out a pair of studs, but she left the studs out while Rorie slept. Rorie would have to wait to see the full look until she woke again.

TO BE CONTINUED
NEXT IS PART 7: THE THIRD DATE

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]

Wrong Number Part 7

Author:

Mona Lisa

Audience Rating:

General Audience (pg)

Publication:

Serial Chapter

Genre:

Character Age:

Teenage or High School

TG Themes:

TG Elements:

Hair Salon / Long Hair / Wigs / Rollers

Permission:

Posted by author(s)

PART 7: THE THIRD DATE

Rorie was released from the hospital seven days after she was admitted. She thanked Dr. Goldberg for everything he had done and her mother, Tara and Keri escorted her home. She stayed in bed at home for another two weeks while her body finished repairing itself. Keri visited Rorie more at her home than she was allowed to at the hospital and helped out with everything from bringing her meals to changing the sheets on the bed once or twice and helping her with her makeup. When Keri began doing Rorie's makeup at the hospital, she decided that she should teach Rorie how to use makeup, and it became a regular part of time together. During Rorie's home convalescence, she and Keri began to discuss making their third date happen.

During the next two weeks, Rorie could get up out of bed, but she would tire very quickly, and their third date would have to wait a while longer.

Six weeks after the accident, Rorie and Keri finally got a chance to have their third date — alone. They arranged to have their third date at Rorie’s home at a time when Rorie’s mother would not be there. She was attending the retirement party of a coworker one Friday night and Rorie chose exactly that Friday for her date with Keri. She coaxed Tara to make plans elsewhere with her friends and Tara, with a wry smile on her face, agreed to be out of the house.

Keri’s sister dropped her off at six o’clock. Keri wore a floral dress with a fine pattern of white and mixed shades of blue. She touched up her look with a pair of white nylons, a white cardigan and white leather flats. Her makeup was flawless. Her hair looked like she’d just come from a salon. She walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Rorie opened the door immediately.

“Hi, Keri!” She greeted Keri with a hug and a kiss. “You look beautiful tonight! Well, you always look beautiful, but you look extra special tonight and I love it! Wow, I love that dress on you! It really brings out your eyes.”

“Thank you, Rorie. You look wonderful, too!”

“Thanks. Come on in!”

Rorie closed the door behind her. Rorie wore a pale lavender tank dress, also with white nylons and matching flats.

“That’s a really pretty dress you’ve got on, too. It really looks great with your lighter complexion.”

“Thank you! Tara helped me pick it out.” Rorie hesitated for a moment. “Would you like anything to drink?”

“Sure. I would love some ginger ale, if you have any.”

“We do. I know you like it and I made sure we would have some.”

“Awww, aren’t you sweet?”

Keri stroked Rorie’s chin and kissed her.

“Anything for you!”

Rorie kissed her back.

“Come on, I’ll get you some.”

They sat at the kitchen table, sipping ginger ale and chatting. As they finished their ginger ale, Rorie began to get a bit nervous. Keri reached out and gently put her hand on Rorie’s.

“Are you okay, Rorie?”

Rorie looked at their hands sheepishly.

“Y-yes, I am. It’s just… well, are you ready to see my room again or would you rather hang out in the family room?”

“Let’s go up to your room. I won’t run away this time. I promise.”

Rorie smiled at her and offered her hand to lead the way. Keri took it gratefully and they returned to the scene of the most tumultuous experience that they had had together. Keri walked into the room… and smiled.

“This really is a nice room, Rorie, I have to say.”

Rorie was immensely relieved.

“Thanks, Keri. You’re welcome in it anytime.”

“Thanks! I’m certainly comfortable in here.”

They smiled at each other, sat on the bed and put arms around each other.

“Is that a new desk?”

“Yeah, it is. I guess the redecoration got kicked up a gear.”

"I like it!"

"Thanks!"

Rorie’s mother had bought her a new desk. Rorie had spent some time cleaning out the contents of the old one and putting them away in the new one. In the course of her cleaning, she had gone through her things and thrown out old and unwanted items. She had also come across a stack of old photos and had left them on her desk so that she could go through them later.

“Do you want to see some old photos?”

“Sure! I love looking at photos.”

“Me, too!” Rorie rose to get the photos. “These are really old. They’re from when I was… gosh… not even ten yet.”

“Wow, they are old!”

“Yeah!”

Rorie sat down on the bed next to Keri and handed her the stack.

“Some of those are of old birthday parties and stuff. My old room is in there, too. We moved eight years ago, when my father died. There were so many memories around the old house and the old neighborhood, too. It was too hard on Mom.”

“Oh, that’s right you told me about that.” Keri gently rubbed Rorie’s shoulder. “Do you miss him?”

“Yes, I do, sometimes, but it’s been eight years and I guess I’ve gotten used to it.”

“Well, I’m so sorry that happened.”

Keri put down the photos next to her and hugged Rorie.

“Thanks.” Rorie paused while savoring the feeling of Keri’s arms around her. “Sometimes I wonder what he would think of me now.”

“Oh, Rorie, I’m sure he would have loved you just the way you are.”

“Yeah, I hope so. I guess I’ll never know.”

“I bet he would have. How could anyone not love you?”

Rorie tilted her head to one side and tears slipped from her eyes.

“Awww, that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

She hugged Keri tightly.

“I had a feeling that maybe you needed to hear it.”

“Yeah, I did. Thanks.”

Rorie kissed her full on the lips.

“You're welcome. So, I would love to see your old room.”

Keri picked up the photos and resumed her perusal.

“Okay! Keep looking, it’s only a few pictures away, I think.”

Keri looked through a few pictures of Rorie’s seventh birthday party and a few pictures of her with her mother and sister at the Grand Canyon.

“Oh, wow, you went to the Grand Canyon! That must have been amazing.”

Rorie remembered how Keri loved inspiring and beautiful things.

“It was. I wish you had been there to share that with me. You would have loved it.”

“Oh, I know would have!”

Keri looked over at her and smiled. Rorie returned her smile with equal fervor. The next few pictures were taken in Rorie’s old house.

“Here’s one of my old bedroom.”

“Oh neat!”

Rorie’s old bedroom was fairly unisex. The walls were white and there was a poster of the Scooby-Doo gang and another of the Gilmore Girls. The comforter on the bed was a mixture of colored stripes.

“You liked that show even then, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did. I immediately liked Rory. I got that poster the year that show got started, actually and a friend gave it to me for my birthday.”

“Wow. You’ve been investigating your identity for a long time, haven’t you?”

“Yes, I have.”

They smiled at each other and Keri looked back at the photos. There were two more photos of Rorie’s bedroom, one of Rorie alone, sitting on her bed, and one with Tara.

“You two look so cute in this photo!”

“Oh, thanks!”

“You’re welcome. Well that was a lot of fun!”

“Yeah, it was!”

The stack of photos was exhausted and Keri went to put them back on the desk. There was one last photo sitting on the desk and leaning against Rorie’s computer monitor. Keri looked at the picture and froze with a look of shock on her face.

“Oh, my God!”

“What?”

Keri showed Rorie the photo, pointing to a brunette in the photo with her arm around Rorie.

“Who’s the girl in this photo?”

“She was kind of a friend of mine who once lived across the street from me. At least, we were starting to be friends until Mom and Tara and I moved here eight years ago. Actually, I kind of had a crush on her, but of course at age eight, what does anyone know about love?”

They chuckled for a moment.

“So, please tell me more!”

Keri was moved by Rorie’s admission. She seemed very excited to hear this story and Rorie was delighted to indulge her.

“Okay, I will! I never knew her name because we didn’t get a chance to really meet, but we lived right across the street from each other. I used to stare at her all the time. I asked my mother a couple of times if she knew this girl’s name and she didn’t.” Rorie began to chuckle. “This girl would make funny faces at me just to make us both laugh. It got started when she caught me looking at her one time. At first she just looked at me like she was wondering what the hell I was looking at. Then she pinched the sides of her face so the corners of her eyes and mouth were stretched toward each other -- like this."

Rorie demonstrated the face and they laughed out loud.

"Anyway, when she did that I laughed really hard — we both did. We thought it was great fun and she kept right on doing it after that. I thought that was so cute.”

They both began to laugh.

“I sure did like her.”

Rorie sighed nostalgically.

“So what happened to her?”

Keri seemed very eager to know.

“It was really sad. I remember that someone was having a Halloween block party and we found a flyer about it on our front door. Her mother’s address and phone number were on it because she was one of the coordinators. I knew which house this girl lived in so I knew it was her phone number. I memorized her phone number and when I got up the nerve, I called her up. Whoever answered the phone told me that she moved away to live with her father. I was so sad that she was gone! Then, a couple of months later, my father died and four months after that, we moved away. Anyway, I found this photo while I was transferring the contents of my old desk into the new one and on the night I called you for the first time I was looking at that picture and remembering her silly faces.”

“Wow, really?”

A tear leaked from Keri’s eye.

“Yes.”

They looked at each other and Keri hugged Rorie tightly. Rorie gladly reciprocated.

“Wow, Keri, that story really affected you!”

Rorie kissed her on the cheek. Then Keri pointed at the photo with a big smile on her face.

“Rorie, that’s my house — and that’s me!!”

Rorie looked at the picture, utterly astounded.

“That was you??”

“Yes. I still live in that house!”

Rorie leaned back for a moment, letting it sink in.

“That was really you?”

“Yes!”

“When did you dye your hair?”

“Three years ago.” Keri rolled her eyes. “It was the ‘in thing’ at school.”

Rorie smiled at her.

“I can’t believe that was really you!”

Rorie threw her arms around Keri, who returned the gesture.

“I’m so glad we found each other after all these years.”

“I am, too! So how come you ended up moving away?”

“I didn’t move away, Rorie. When my parents divorced ten years ago, my mother got the house and shared custody with my father. Eight years ago, my mother was laid off from her job and my father temporarily got full custody. My mother didn’t know what was going to happen and she probably didn’t want to get your hopes up that I would be back, so she told you that I moved away. Then, she got another job about nine months later, the shared custody was reinstated and I was back. When I got home I decided to walk across the street to your old house and ring the bell. I was really excited to see you again — and make faces at you -- but some stranger answered the door. You had moved away and I was so upset! I had a little crush on you, too.”

“You did?”

They smiled at each other.

“Yeah.”

“Awwwww, and we moved while you were gone, I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess so!”

They embraced each other and fell silent for a moment.

“Well, I’m glad we found each other again — in so many ways!”

“I am too, Keri."

They hugged snugly again.

"Do you remember on our second date when Chloe and Joe were saying that movie we saw was unrealistic?"

"Yeah, of course! They made it pretty clear that they don't believe in amazing things."

"Yeah, Chloe and Joe thought that movie was too full of coincidence, but maybe things aren't so coincidental --"

"-- and maybe that's what makes them amazing."

"Right! Anyway, you and I are living proof that amazing things can and do happen."

"You know what I think?”

Rorie pulled a few inches back, her head cocked to one side.

“What?”

“I think you were right. It wasn’t a wrong number!”

Rorie kissed Keri squarely on the lips and this time, they weren’t interrupted! They lingered in the kiss, letting love lead the way.

THE END

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]