The three girls and myself got in the back of the camper for the short drive back to Bond’s lair.

“You girls hungry?” Dad called back to the Walter’s
“Famished!” they chorused and burst into giggles
“What’s so funny?” Jules asked
“Well we’re always doing that, it’s like ESP, don’t you girls do that at all?” Debbie asked
“Er no” Jules answered, did I just hear Debbie right?
“We’ll drop your bags off, let you freshen up a bit, then we’re invited to the Peters to eat” Dad informed us
“Sounds pretty cool” Britney mentioned

I felt a bit awkward already; I was going to be further outnumbered all evening! We were quickly in our driveway and getting the girls bags out.

“Nice house Mr Bond” Debbie stated
“It does” he demurred
“Come on,” Jules cajoled, “lets get your stuff inside”

Dad and I let the others go in and followed with the Walter’s luggage.

“Show the girls where they’re staying you two, I’ll bring the bags up in a minute” Dad suggested
“Okay Dad, come on you’ve got Drew’s room” Jules told the visitors as she led the way upstairs.
“Where’s she staying then?” Britney asked
“In the box room, we moved everything yesterday so you can use the wardrobe and draws.” Jules told them as we got to the top of the stairs
“Neat room Drew!” Britney exclaimed
“You’ll have to toss for the fold up but it’s pretty comfortable” Jules rambled on
“Here you go” Dad huffed as he deposited the bags in my room, “we’re expected about seven thirty so you’ve got time to change if you want, you can unpack later”
“Thanks Mr Bond” Debbie thanked Dad who left us to it.
“You didn’t have to move Drew, we could of shared” Britney told us
“We er thought you might prefer to be together” I mumbled
“And Drew prefers to sleep on his own” Jules slipped in
“Where’s the bathroom Juliette?” Debbie asked
“I’ll show you” and she led the elder of the Walter’s out of the room
“This is real cool Drew, Debs and me we’re like always fighting at home” her inflection was a bit odd, a bit like down in the West Country. “We share at home too but our room is tiny”
“I thought all American houses were huge” I mentioned as Britney opened her case and started rooting around.
“Where we live is like right near the commercial district”
“I thought Forest Avenue would be in the country” I mentioned
“We wish! Our end is in town, the other end runs to South River Elementary”
“What’s that?”
“You know, like the school after kindergarten?”
“I think we’d call it infants”
“What do you think?” Britney held a blouse up
“Erm, it’s okay”
“What are you two talking about?” Jules asked
“We were just talking about the house” I told her

Britney meantime was divesting herself of her top

“I er better go see if Dad needs any help” I stammered making a quick exit

I heard Debbie as I headed downstairs

“Your sister’s a bit shy”
“Not usually and she’s… oh you’ll find out later” Jules replied

 

“They settling in?” Dad asked
“Yeah, I thought I’d best make myself scarce while they change though”
“I should hope so young man”

We sat watching ToTP while we waited. At quarter past Dad called upstairs

“Are you girls ready, we need to leave in five minutes”
“Coming” Jules called back

The clamour of three teenage girls on the stairs warned us of their approach, I turned off the telly while Dad got the car keys.

“Ready?” Dad asked
“Yes Dad” Jules answered
“We’ll take the car, Drew can you lock up please?”
“Okay”

 

Britney waited for me as I set the alarm and locked the door.

“Why did you leave just now?”
“You don’t really want me watching you change”
“Doesn’t bother me”
“Really Britney, you don’t!” I emphasised
“Who are these ‘Peters’ we’re eating with?” she asked as we walked to the car
“Oh Maddy’s my girlfriend, Sabrina is staying with her”

Britney gave me a funny appraising look that turned to puzzlement. We reached the Passat; the girls sat in the back while I joined Dad in front.

 

Mrs P did us proud. Instead of a sit down dinner, she’d done a sort of buffet which meant that ‘us kids’ could get our food and eat outside as it was still quite pleasant.

“So what do you girls get up to then?” Sabrina asked

Not another one! Why do they all think I’m a girl?

“Yeah are there any cute guys that you guys hang with?” Britney enthused
“Well there’s Rhod and Drew of course” Mad told them
“You mean there’s a guy called Drew too?” Sabrina queried
“What do you mean too?” Mad countered
“Mad I think we need to get ‘Drew’ sorted out” Jules suggested

It was like the proverbial lightbulb switching on.

“You mean” she silently motioned with her eyes
“I think so” Jules replied
“What guys?” Debbie demanded
“Let’s go down the garden a bit,” Mad suggested nodding towards the house

Taking the hint that some great secret was to be divulged, the Americans followed as we moved out of earshot of the house.

 

“I would have thought you’d have sorted it by now Drew” Mad stated
“You know I tried”
“Is this something about you girls being a couple?” Britney suggested
“Er you could say that” I admitted
“It’s not what you think though, really” Mad continued
“You tell ’em Mad” Jules proposed
“Okay. By the look on your faces just now you think Drew is my girlfriend right” they nodded in agreement, “well the friend bit is right but it’s boy friend”
“You mean Drew pretends to be a boy?” Sabrina suggested. I could only roll my eyes heavenward.
“Drew’s my brother!” Jules told them
“Well I know she doesn’t dress very feminine but that’s no reason to call her a boy” Debbie mentioned
“I am a boy!” I said with a hint of hysteria, “I’ve got all the equipment”
“I can vouch for that,” Maddy added
“I didn’t think you could get that sort of surgery at your age” the elder Walter sister commented
“There was no surgery, I am Mad’s boyfriend because I am a boy!” I almost screeched

There was a shocked silence as they finally got it.

“You mean, in the pictures, and changing, oh sorry Drew!” Britney blubbed, “and I’ve told everyone I was staying with this real cool girl” she put a hand to her mouth in realisation.
“But why didn’t you say something?” Debbie asked me
“I did drop some pretty strong hints, it’s not like I was wearing a dress or something”
“We just thought you were a bit of a tomboy, but how come we got paired up”
“Mr Wood, our headmaster, you met him earlier little guy with a tash, he said there was a bit of a mix up in numbers and this was the best solution. Otherwise at least two people would miss the trip.” Jules explained
“No one told us” Britney stated, “not that I mind, Drew,” she quickly added
“Well I can’t say that I was that thrilled to start with”

 

We were all surprised by the flash going off, Sabrina, Drew, Britney, Mad, Debbie and Jules!

“Just thought I’d get a picture of all you girls together” Mrs P mentioned
“Mum, Drew?” Mad hinted
“Sorry Drew, I’ve got so used to Gaby being round, there’s ice cream when you’re ready” and she returned to the house.
“Who’s Gaby?” Sabrina queried
“Our cousin” Jules and Mad replied together
“Whoa! Hold up there, start again” Debbie asked
“She’s our cousin, we’re all related” Mad supplied
“So when do we meet her then?” Britney enquired
“I don’t think she’s gonna be back while you’re here” I hinted at Mad and my sister
“Yeah Drew’s right, I think she was going to Scotland for the rest of the summer” Mad adlibbed.
“Pity” Britney mused
“Let’s go get some ice cream” I suggested

 

Before we left to go home, we had arranged to meet the others and give the visitors the basic tour of Warsop in the morning and once home I was only too happy to collapse into ‘my’ bed, another hectic day over!

 

Maddy Bell 28.01.04

 

 

I woke up with a start and it took a moment for me to work out where I was, my temporary ‘home’, the spare room! Groaning I turned over and hid my head under the pillow but sleep wasn’t coming back anytime soon. Then it occurred to me, three teenage girls in the house, I’ll never get into the bathroom! Grabbing my dressing gown I dived out of bed and made my move, out through my door and grabbing the handle for the bathroom in one move. Damn! Beaten to it, ah ha downstairs!

Emerging into the kitchen fifteen minutes later I was embarrassed to find Debbie going through the cupboards under the worktop.

“Er morning Debbie”

She jumped about a foot!

“Jeez Drew, don’t do that.”
“What’re you looking for?”
“I was gonna make coffee but so far all I found is a tea kettle, where’s the coffee pot?”
“Er we make it in the cup. Coffee’s in the middle cupboard, mugs the next one along and milk in the fridge”
“What’s ‘mugs’?”
“You know big cup, no saucer?” I went into the cupboard and extracted said piece of crockery with Bart Simpson on.
“Oh you mean like coffee mug” she stated
“Well we just call them mugs, hardly anyone uses cups except in café’s or if they’ve got visitors”
“Hey don’t we count!”
“We’re not trying to impress you”
“I’m hurt!” she pretended to pout, “You want one?”
“I’ll have tea please, the bags are next to the coffee. I’ll just go and get dressed”

I beat a retreat back to my ‘room’.

 

When I returned to the kitchen I found both the Walter’s sisters sipping coffee.

“Morning Drew” Britney greeted me brightly
“Hi Britney”
“I didn’t make your tea Drew, I wasn’t sure how you take it”
“Hot and wet by preference!” I joked “anyone for breakfast?”
“We usually just have coffee” Debbie advised
“Mum reckons you should always eat something, even if it’s just toast”

I got myself a bowl and the box of Weetabix. The girls watched as I poured milk over three of the biscuits and shoved it into the microwave.

“What is that?” Britney asked screwing up her nose
“Weetabix? Sort of a bit like shredded wheat” I was interrupted by the micro.

Ding! I retrieved my breakfast and sprinkled some sugar onto the steaming mush.

“That is so gross!” Debbie stated

I just shrugged and started mashing my tea.

“Are you mashing Drew?” Dad called as he passed the kitchen
“Tea?”
“Thanks” he came back from the hallway with the post, “you girls having breakfast?”
“Coffee’s just fine thanks Mr Bond” Debbie mentioned
“Well there’s cereal, toast, eggs and fruit if you want anything. Don’t wait for us just dig in”
“Thanks Mr Bond, we will” Britney confirmed.

Jules eventually appeared, I could tell she was a bit pissed, probably the bathroom situation!

 

We left to walk over to Mad’s just after nine.

“Erm Drew?” Britney started
“Yeah?”
“Sorry about the whole girl thing yesterday”
“No sweat”
“As long as you’re not pissed at me”
“‘Course not”
“So is Maddy your girlfriend?”
“Sort of” I blushed
“They’re like twins – inseparable!” Jules mentioned from behind us
“I wish I was going steady” Britney sighed

My phone started to ring, ‘Skater Boy’, Maddy!

“Cool phone” Britney stated
“Hi Mad, whatsup? Linden Avenue…okay we’ll see you there, bye”
“Maddy?” Jules asked
“Yeah, her and Sabrina’l meet us at the crossroads”
“So guys, what are we doing today?” Debbie asked
“Dunno really” I mentioned
“Well I’m taking Deb to meet Anna”
“I thought Dad said you couldn’t” I accused
“Well if you don’t say anything he’ll never know will he? And anyway she was supposed to be sounding the two K’s out remember?”

The two Americans gave each other ‘what gives’ looks, they’d find out later.

 

Normally with five of us we could go shopping and stuff but with ten we were a gang! And only three boys. None of us were used to such a big group and it was quickly evident that we were breaking into two groups, Mad Britney Sabrina and me in one with Ally, Bernie, Darla and Amy in the other. The guys, Rhod and Dan, weren’t quite sure where to go, I was the attraction in our group and Ally in the other. Interesting times!

“See you guys later” Mad called as the rest of the gang headed towards Sylv’s.
“What’re we doing?” Sabrina asked
“I’m sure Mad’s got something up her sleeve” I mentioned
“Moi!” she did her best Miss Piggy, which even got the visitors giggling.
“So?” I asked
“Well Mum did say she was going to Retford this afternoon”
“You sure she’ll want us guys along” Britney queried
“Well she mentioned it” Mad pointed out.

We were soon at the Peters mansion.

“I still can’t believe the size of your houses” Britney mentioned
“Rhod lives in a little terraced house behind his mums shop” I pointed out
“And neither of the others have got big houses”

Sabrina wasn’t saying much.

“I know Britney lives in a town house, what about you Sabrina.”
“It’s alright Sab, they’re cool” Britney told her friend
“Okay. Look guys it’s embarrassing right, me and mom, we live in a trailer”
“What like a horsebox?” Mad mentioned
“Eh? You know like a camping trailer. Like that over there but bigger” Sabrina pointed to the drive opposite and the caravan parked there.
“A caravan!” Mad exclaimed
“Mobile home.” I mentioned
“Yeah, Drew’s got it, mobile home. We got the 'lectric and plumbing an stuff but it’s not exactly a des res.” She went on
“Some of the kids at school live on the Caravan Park on the Mansfield road”
“I told you they were cool” Britney stated
“Back already?” Aunt C called from where she was weeding the flowerbed
“Yes Mum, it wasn’t much fun, there were too many of us”
“I suppose ten can get a bit boisterous” Mrs P suggested, “so what are you up to now?”
“We were wondering if we could go to Retford with you?” Mad suggested
“You girls okay with that?” she addressed the visitors
“Sure”
“Sounds like fun” Sabrina added
“I don’t know about fun” I mentioned
“You don’t have to come Drew” Mad pouted
“I’d better otherwise you’ll corrupt this pair”
“What is this Retford?” Sabrina asked
“A little market town, it’s about fifteen miles away”
“Miss Bell was telling us all about Robin Hood and stuff, she kept going on about Work Sop?” Britney told us
“You mean Worksop, we’ll go there maybe later in the week” Mad replied
“Who’s Miss Bell?” I asked
“She takes us for History and Geography” Sabrina supplied
“And she’s Debs homeroom tutor. You’ll meet her later, she’s one of our chaperones.” Britney added
“You’ll like her,” Sabrina went on, “a bit over the top but pretty cool!”
“I’ll just wash up and we’ll get off” Aunt C advised us on her way into the house.

 

I told you about Retford before I think, when we went with Mrs Rose? The American duo were pretty taken with the place, all the ‘cute’ shops and ‘awesome’ market stalls. Don’t they have markets? They were fascinated that the market is on the street and the variety of stuff available, just wait until we go to a real market!

Mrs P dropped Britney and me off back at my place a little before four.

“Come on Drew, shake a leg” Dad admonished when we walked indoors, “this reception thing starts at five”
“I thought it was six, I’d best ring the others, I told them to meet us at ten to six!”

So several frantic calls later, things were all square and I could get ready myself.

 

“Welcome everyone, before we go any further a few introductions are in order.” Mr Wood started, “my name’s Mr Wood, I’m headmaster of the school here in Warsop. You’ll meet the other staff over the next couple of weeks. For the benefit of my pupils, the gentleman on my left are Mr Frederick’s and Miss Bell from Augusta High School. Without further ado I’ll pass you over to Councillor Bates who was kind enough to organise this evening for us.”

Miss Bell certainly didn’t look your average teacher! Well you don’t want to hear that boring speech, She finished by thanking “John Peters for getting this whole thing going, John?”

Mad’s Dad stepped forward a step and gave an embarrassed little wave.

“Well I’m sure you don’t want to hear any more from me, so please have a pleasant evening”

“Just before we finish with the announcements, a quick news flash for the Bond household, Mrs Bond has taken the lead after today’s stage of the Tour Mallorca.”

There was a spontaneous round of applause – how embarrassing. Mr Wood went on “for the benefit of our visitors, Mrs Bond used to teach at our school before leaving to race bicycles professionally, a decision, which by her recent successes in France and Germany was obviously the right one. Now that I’ve embarrassed the Bond’s, it’s time to party!”

How does he do it? He always knows what I’ve been doing and it seems what Mum gets up to too!

Not that I’ve been to a lot of receptions but this was pretty typical I guess. The olds stood around chatting while us kids gravitated towards our own peers, Americans at one side, English the other! The guy doing the music decided to stir things up a bit so in quick succession we had Avril Levigne, the Chilli Peppers and Dido. When he played ‘The Young Ones’, not the original but the one from the old comedy series, it broke the ice and we were soon bopping transatlantic.

 

“Come on Drew, time to get up”
“Urgh?”
“Breakfast’s ready. I’ll see you downstairs” Dad advised

I looked at the clock, five thirty. FIVE THIRTY! I leapt from the bed and donned skinsuit and tracksuit before creeping downstairs.

“I’ll go and load the car while you have breakfast” Dad told me
“Okay”

I’d forgotten about this morning, the Rutland middle markers twenty-five on the O2. I start number 73, not quite seven fifteen. I got my Weetabix and was just about done when Dad came back in.

“You ready?”
“Just about”

Five minutes later we were on our way up to Blythe, it’s a good job it’s a local course, if we were going much further we’d have had to left much earlier. It’s not very often that slower riders like me manage to get on a course like the O2, all the fast blokes want to ride it! It was really strange, just me and Dad driving up, it’s been ages since just the two of us went to a race, the last few times Mad and the gang have come along, today just seems odd.

‘5,4,3,2,1,GO!”
“Dig in Drew!” Dad shouted as I passed him barely 20 metres from the start.

I might not get the chance to ride this course very often, the last time was with Mum on the tandem, but various ‘bits’ of the route get used as other courses so I know the road fairly well. I was soon settled into my usual position and turned my attention to getting around the course as quickly as possible. The light breeze was directly in my face as I climbed under Blythe Bridge, which was not too bad; I could look forward to some assistance on the way back!

I started humming in my head, Mum says it helps her keep cadence, I reckon it just helps pass the time! As I started the drop towards Ranby I could clearly see a couple of riders in front and vowed to catch them quickly. I kept getting glimpses of riders heading back north on the other carriageway, by how they were riding; the slight breeze was definitely offering some northbound help.

Dropping towards the Five Lane Ends roundabout I caught the first rider, number 69, either I was flying or she was really slow! The next leg is very deceptive, it either takes forever, like this morning or you zip down the undulations really fast. I could see that I was catching another rider and the longer climb to the ‘top’ of Elkesley allowed me to gain over 200 metres on number 72. The long sweeping bends past the village kept him in front but the little kick up before the Walesby turn was enough for me to catch and pass him.

The turn here at Markham Moor can be a bit tricky, the roundabout is huge but this early on a Sunday the traffic was still quite light. I checked behind and pulled to the outside lane spotting the rider wearing number 70 just leaving the island. Checking the computer I was on 29.35, mercifully I didn’t get held up and I kept an even pace all the way round and then popped out onto the A1 north. 30.29, excellent I reckon I was only about a minute and a half behind number 70, cool!

I got myself settled again and managed to keep a fairly big gear rolling most of the way up the climb back to Elkesley. I glanced briefly right to Gamston airfield, remembering the trip to Paris a few weeks ago.

I felt the temperature drop as the road turned to the right then out of nowhere I was being pelted by hailstones. Not just hailstones but huge hailstones! It sounded like someone was bouncing marbles off my helmet and I was glad that I was wearing glasses as several lumps hit my face quite painfully. What traffic there was pretty much stopped but I continued plugging away through the sudden gusts and frozen rain, passing a stopped number 71 in the process. As quick as it started, I was out of it; I could feel my exposed arms and legs stinging.

The breeze picked up behind me, flinging me up the rest of the rise and there in front were three riders all within about a hundred metres of each other and less than thirty seconds in front. I slipped into the top sprocket and with renewed enthusiasm set out to catch them. The undulations were aiding me as I clawed my way towards the rearmost of the three, number 68 just as the roundabout came into view. The traffic was already heavier than my first pass in the other direction, I just hoped that I could get round cleanly. I saw the next rider in front squirt himself onto the island and I started to concentrate on what all the traffic was likely to do. Cursing, I thought I was going to have to stop as a car started signalling to come across me but as I reached for my brakes he turned down the A1 south exit leaving my way clear.

Slotting myself back into the inside lane I realised that I had gained quite a bit on the rider in front, number 64.

“Come on Drew, you’ll get number 70!” Dad shouted from the lay-by as I once again got settled. Cool. I took 64 over the railway bridge and snicked the gears back up as I started the downhill stretch.

The six miles to go marker came and went and number 70 was still an elusive hundred metres in front. The bit past Ranby is always deceptive and we held station onto what Dad calls the ‘Chicken Farm’, the last climb! I kept the big gear rolling almost all the way up and gained about 50 of those metres by the top. Three miles to go and the tail wind started to kick in as we started the approach to the finish. I saw Dad flash past and pull up the Blythe turn off.

“Come on son, UP! UP!”

Seventy was dangling in front of me but I wasn’t making any impression. Round the bend and the mile to go marker flashed by, one more corner then a short downhill to the finish. My breathing was starting to get a bit ragged as I pushed harder; I glanced at the computer 57.45, nah that can’t be right! I couldn’t check as I had to line myself up for the turn, tricky as the road swings back at @120°. I went round barely twenty metres behind my rabbit.

“Go Drewby!”
“Dig! Dig!”

The cheering from the small crowd stirred me as I dragged out my last reserves in an ever-increasing red fog. I could see the chequered flag and got out of the saddle in a last desperate lunge for the line.

“Seventy!”
“Sevknee three!”

I passed him yards later as we both started to freewheel

“Wha?” he managed, I guess he didn’t realise I was so close behind, “shit!”

I remembered to check the clock, 59.03 oh wow! That’s twice I’ve been under now, well cool! I got myself turned around in the village and slowly made my way back past the finish to the A1 and the HQ on the other side of the island. Spotting Dad and the car I rode down and collapsed onto the grass.

“You alright son?”
“I could do with one of Mad’s leg rubs”
“Well I’ll have to do, lay back and give me a leg”

I lay back and he took a foot and wedged it on his hip.

“What happened to your legs? There’s red marks all over them”
“Nothing,” then I remembered the hail, “there was a hail storm at Elkesley on the way back, might be that”
“Well that would fit, they must have been big hailstones”
“They were bouncing all over the road,“ I pulled my sleeve up to check my arm, “wow there’s even marks through my skinsuit!”
“At least we know what it is then”

For the next ten minutes Dad worked wonders in preventing the cramps in my calves getting too bad, if anything he was better than Mad!

“So what do you think you’ve done? Did you catch 70?”
“A short 59 I think and I passed him on the line just about”
“He won’t be best bit chuffed!” Dad mentioned
“He nearly fell off when I passed him!”
“Come on then, get yourself dressed, I’ll stow the bike”

Dad busied himself deflating tyres and wiping my snot off the bike, while I pulled my skinsuit off in the relative privacy of the back seat.

 

“Ready?”
“As I will be” I replied

We made our way to the tea tent and results board; I swapped my number for a tea and a bit of lovely, stodgy bread and butter pudding. Dad bought himself a coffee then we went to look at the results. There was a quite animated conversation going on between several observers who were blocking my view of the board.

“Excuse me”
“Oh sure young un” they moved to one side and I finally got to see the board. Helpfully all the ‘ten’ starters were in red so it was quite easy to locate number 70, no that can’t be right, 1.00.54, if I caught him for three minutes he should have a long 1.01 at best.

“Well done Drew!” Dad exclaimed which caused the gallery to all swing round.
“Huh?”
“Your time?”

I checked down, 57.54. So I was a few seconds ou…

“WHAHEY!” it sank in, not a few seconds but over a minute!
“I guess this must be Bond’s girl”
“Not much to look at”
“Takes after her mum”
“Mick said there was a hailstorm”
“Did you see Jenny on Eurosport last night?”
“Like mother, like daughter!”

I barely heard the comments as I was leaping around, hugging Dad and generally enjoying myself.

“Whoa, whoa, calm down. Watch my…coffee” which chose that moment to leap from his hand!
“Whee!”
“Sit over there and calm down for a bit” Dad ordered

I sat on the kerb and got personal with my handful of stodge. How did I make such a big timing error? Then I remembered, I started the computer on my minute man, dur!

“Well Drew” Dad came over from the board, “there’s only about another twenty to come in and only a few of those stand any chance of beating you”

I was missing something here.

“What do you mean Dad?”
“You’re fastest so far the next best is 58.23”

I picked that moment to pass out.

 

“Is she alright?”

I could hear various mumbled voices

“Just excitement” I heard Dad tell someone.
“Here, get this down her”

I felt a cup of something cool at my lips and let Dad pour some into my mouth. I started choking as the tart liquid hit my throat.

“Easy Drew” Dad patted my back

I tried another sip and found it went down better this time. I could still hear various other voices then one I knew broke through.

“The youngster okay?” John asked
“Excitement I think” Dad mentioned

I blinked my eyes open to find myself surrounded by concerned looking adults.

“Back with us then Gaby” John stated
“Wwwhat happened?”
“You fainted” Dad told me
I heard a voice over the general hubbub, “Marsden’s only got a short 58, no one else can beat her now”
“Looks like you’ve won” John had heard too.

All this and it’s not nine o’clock yet!

 

Half an hour later I was approaching Five Lane Ends for the fourth time today. This time as winner of the event! No one else got under 58 minutes and the fact of me being a juvenile had everyone excited too.

“You feeling okay now?” Dad queried
“Yeah, that Mars bar made a big difference”
“We’ll have to watch that, maybe get the doctor to have a check”
“What for?”
“Well you could be diabetic, low blood sugar”

That hit me like a Grimsby cod.

‘I hope not, “he went on, “but it won’t hurt to check”
“Does that mean I’ll have to stop racing?” I was getting a bit wobbly lip.
“If and it’s a big if, you have it, there’s no reason why you have to stop, there are several professionals who are diabetic”

I was only slightly mollified. We turned with a growing queue of traffic towards Thoresby, us for home, them for the Sunday Market. I know it wasn’t a long drive but I fell asleep as we sat in the traffic only waking when Dad gave me a shake after we got home.

 

Maddy Bell 18.02.04

 

 

“You look shot” Jules mentioned
“He’s allowed,“ Dad told her, “he won this morning”

I managed a smile.

“Go get showered Drew” Dad instructed.

 

“Wow, you like, won this race thing?” Britney queried
“Yep!” I proudly stated, “57.54!”
“That’s good right?”
“Well me and Mum have done faster on the tandem but my best before was a 59”
“So d’ya win some cup or something?”
“I’m not sure but I got £25 for winning and £10 for fastest juvenile”
“Juvenile?”
“You know, under sixteen?” she looked at me blankly, “anyone sixteen or under is a juvenile, then under eighteen’s are juniors.”
“Right, so you creamed the other kids”
“I beat everyone.”
She caught it then, “oh wow, that’s pretty cool huh?”
“Way cool” I did my American accent that just made her laugh.
“You two coming?” Jules shouted
“Yes” I shouted back
“So tell me again, where are we going?” Brit, she said I could call her that, Brit asked.
“The Peak District, it’s a National Park.”
“Like Shenandoah at home?”
“A bit I s’pose”

 

“You girls okay for this?” Dad asked as we donned our boots in the car park.
“Sure Mr B, our olds insist we go hiking up in the hills regular” Debbie supplied
“I bet none of the others are doing anything cool like this” Britney enthused much to my horror. I’ve done this walk before, about six miles of tramping over the moors with some of Dad’s ‘highlights’ thrown in!

We shouldered our packs and Dad led the way down the road to the stile onto the footpath. We followed the track across the first field; the grass giving way to bracken the higher we climbed. On into a second field where about the only grass we could see was on the footpath.

“Just wait until we get to the edge” Dad enthused, “the views are spectacular”

Maybe. Last time he dragged us up here was just before my birthday and there was snow on the ground, you could barely see the next headland!

We scrambled up the last bit of track to the top and stopped to catch our breath.

“What about that then?” Dad theatrically indicated the view to the west. “That’s Eaglestone where we’re headed over there, Baslow in the bottom and Chatsworth over to the left.” To my surprise it was pretty clear, if you knew where to look you could see clear over to the White Peak. “Come on over the wall, I’ll show you what we’ve come for”

Dad clambered over the wall and helped everyone over before once more resuming his position as tour guide.

“He’ll start going weird in a minute,” I whispered to Brit, “waving his arms and stuff”

She giggled.

“I heard that Drew” Dad called back over his shoulder.

Which caused Debbie to start on the giggles too!

We walked about a hundred metres along the track before Dad stopped to wait for us laggards. When we had caught up he started the familiar spiel.

“Welcome to Gardom’s Edge! People have been living and farming up here for over four thousand years.”
“It’s a bit bleak isn’t it” Deborah mentioned
“Well it was a lot warmer, maybe ten degrees, there would have been people living all over these hills. Anyway for some reason they thought this area was a bit special and they left behind not just the fields and cairns but some earlier monuments”
“Kewl” Brit enthused
“How come you know so much about it Mr B?” Deb asked
“Dad helped when they did a dig up here a few years ago.” Jules supplied
“As Jules said, when the University and National Park did some excavating, I had the chance to do some digging with them.”
“Yeah and our school came for a visit, we spent most of the time wrapping string around trees,” I added.
“Wow, so you’re like one of those arkligists?” Britney suggested
“Archaeologist’s, well it’s my hobby really.”
“That is just so cool!” Deb mentioned, “your parents are just so cool, you guys, all ours do is go bowling!”
“Just wait till Dad’s finished boring the pants off you” Jules advised
“Come on let’s show you the highlights” Dad enthused ignoring Jules sarcasm. We walked along the edge of the trees for a short distance until we reached the huge pile of boulders that Dad insisted was a Neolithic (that’s way old) boundary. The Walter’s looked impressed, not! And Dad could see he was losing his audience.

“Let’s go and have a look at the rock art”
“What’s that?” Deb asked
“You’ll see”

Dad led the way through the bracken and scrub to a small clearing dominated by a big flat boulder.

“Oh wow!” Brit exclaimed

I must admit, I’m still impressed by it! The girls explored the carvings for a few minutes, before Deb got her camera out for some pictures.

“It sounds sort of hollow” Brit mentioned

 

Jules and I had a little snigger; our private bet was won.

“Well that’s because what you can see is actually a resin cast of the real stone, that’s underneath.”
“Why’d they do that?” Debbie queried
“To protect it, acid rain and just people walking on it were damaging the original so as an experiment they made the cast.”
“But don’t people notice?” Brit suggested
“Do you know, I don’t think they do. It’s not like it’s a secret but I suppose most people just come and look at it.”
“Well I think it’s well cool, we don’t have anything like this at home”
“Come on then. We’ll go across to Eaglestone, we’ll have our sandwiches at Curbar Gap”

So Dad led the way down the moor towards the road, pointing out where the trenches were, the cairns…

“Er Mr B? What’s a cairn?” Deb finally asked
“Oh sorry, I forgot that you might not know. They’re really just piles of stones, usually where the farmers threw all the stones when they were ploughing. Sometimes though they used them to bury the dead or I suppose to make offerings, that sort of thing.”

We clambered down to the road and crossed, Dad once again leading the way.

“Come on” I whispered to Brit
“Where?”
“Short cut” I climbed over the wall and dropped into the field, “come on, we’ll meet them up on top” Glancing at the fast retreating backs of Dad and our siblings, Brit followed my lead.

“What is this?”
“An old watermill I think, there’s a bridge at the end.” I told her leading the way
“Huh! Bet you can’t jump it”
“Don’t be daft Brit, it must be at least five metres”
“Not on the other side it’s not”
“Well I’m using the bridge”
“Chicken shit! I’m gonna do it” she informed me.

Well you know the ego thing, especially with girls around?

“Okay, I’ll do it too”

I watched as Brit dropped her bag, took a short run up then launched herself across and kept running through the reeds.

“Come on Drew, it’s easy”

I slipped my pack to the grass and psyched myself up. A short stuttering approach then I was airborne, my arms started windmilling as I realised I was not going to make the bank.

“A…a..argh!” I landed in the river with an almighty splash; my legs acted as a spring that had the effect of me ending up dumped on my backside in the middle of the water. Shit!

“Hey ‘r you okay Drew?” Brit called from the bridge.
“Yeah I think so” I waded to the bank and dripped onto terra firma.
“Dad’s gonna kill me”
“I’ll tell him it’s my fault”
“He’s still gonna kill me” I shouldered my bag and squelched up the hillside towards the official path.

 

“What happened to you” Jules asked when they met us
“We took a short cut” I offered
“Drew Bond, what have I told you? Never leave the main paths”
“Sorry Dad, I guess I was showing off”
“Well whatever, you can’t stay in all that wet gear, it might be warm but it’s not that warm. You’ll have to put your jacket on, I take it your bag didn’t go for a swim too?”
“I’ll bake in that”
“Hey, I’ve got some spare stuff” Debbie mentioned
“Thanks, but I’ll wear my jacket”
“Come on Drew, you can’t spend the rest of the day in all that wet stuff” Brit told me
I looked at Dad who just shrugged, “it’s up to you Drew”

Truth be known I was already getting more than a little bit uncomfortable in my damp, no soaking underwear. As you know, I’ve ended up in girl’s stuff before, but hey we’re out for a hike; they won’t have much with them, will they?

“Okay, I guess”

The two Walter’s sisters went into their packs and started pulling stuff out, you’d think we were climbing Everest!

“How come you carry that lot around?” I asked
“Ma always says we should be prepared when we go walking, a set of dry clothing can be a life saver, and it’s good to have something fresh to wear when you’ve done” Brit replied.
“There you go Drew, one set of dry clothes” Deb handed me a pile of stuff
“Get a move on Drew” Dad chivvied.

I found a hidden hollow just off the track and stripped my wet kit off. Well at least it was practical stuff, a pale yellow t-shirt, plain white cotton knickers and some knee high hiking socks and some khaki shorts. I shook the shorts out, oh shit! Not shorts, but a sort of cargo style skirt!

“Come on Drew!” Jules shouted

Some choice, my sopping wet shorts or Deb’s dry skirt? Damn, no choice really. I pulled the offending garment on and realised it was nearly ankle length, ah well. I got my boots back on, thankful that Dad had insisted on buying Gore-Tex® boots, at least they were almost dry inside.

“There you are so…n” Dad trailed off
“Hey Drew you look real cute” Brit mentioned
“Come on you lot, let’s get going”
“Sorry Drew, this is all my fault” Britney mumbled as we once again started walking.
“I’ll live I suppose, but don’t tell the others, Mad and that please”
“Sure”

Dad once again started waxing lyrical about packhorse trails and quarries, we stopped at Nelsons Monument so the girls could get some pictures, including all three Bond’s. By the time we got across to Curbar gap it was nearly two and I was well hungry and getting a bit fed up with the long skirt. We found a wall to lean against with a view down over the valley and started on our food.

“Give over with that skirt Drew” Jules almost spat, “you’ve been fiddling with it ever since we stopped”
“Well it’s annoying, it keeps wrapping itself around my legs, and you’re not wearing it!”
“Hey sorry Drew, I didn’t think” Deb spoke up, “stand up, the bottom zips off”

Hell, it can’t get any worse can it, I stood and a minute later the ankle length monster was reduced to a more comfortable knee length garment.

Dad just kept shaking his head.

“It’s a bit late to go over to Barbrook like I planned, we’d best go back over Gardom’s” Dad told us when we were finished eating.

So with a short diversion to the ice cream van, we set off back down the road to Curbar crossroads. The short version of the skirt was much more comfortable to walk in and I soon forgot what I was wearing. It seemed to take forever to get back to the main road but once we dodged the traffic, now heading out of the park towards Sheffield, we climbed the stile back onto open moorland and headed up hill. It’s a good job Dad knew the way, he led us onto a sheep track through some Birch scrub then we emerged on a track I recognised. From here it was best bit of a mile back down to the car park.

Now don’t get the impression that this walk was done in silence, the Walter’s, well mainly Deb, bombarded Dad with questions, Brit kept me in a near constant conversation, asking and filling gaps in each others knowledge of the other. By the time we arrived back at the car, I really had forgotten what I was wearing and so I guess had everyone else.

“I can’t wait to get these boots off!” Jules mentioned as we walked up to the car
“Me too” Brit agreed

Dad opened the car and everyone found a perch to change his or her footwear.

“Hey Drew those trainers look cute with that skirt” Jules taunted

That resulted in me chasing my sister around the car park to the sounds of the Walter’s shouting encouragement.

“Other way Drew!”
“That’s cheating Jules!”

And so on. I think Dad’s changing into one of those nodding dog things, everytime I look at him he’s shaking his head.

“Come on you two, our visitors will think will think we’re mad!”

It was half four gone when we turned onto the road back to Chesterfield and nearly six when we spilled out of the car at home. First thing I did once I got inside was go and get changed, it’s one thing to wear that stuff in an emergency but no way did I want to give anyone the impression that I enjoyed it! In truth I didn’t mind too much, but that’s between you and me!

 

Jules and I helped Dad with the tea, well nearer supper now, while Brit and Deb made a call to their parents in Grottoes. Tea was a simple help yourself salad and afterwards we all collapsed in the living room. What a day! Winning the 25, all that fuss afterwards then this afternoons walk and my drenching, some day!

“Drew, stick the telly on, there’s coverage of your Mum’s race on Eurosport in ten minutes” Dad advised
“Cool! Hey girls you’ll see Mum in a bit”

We sat through the end of some bizarre ‘dune boarding’, like snow boarding on sand, weird, then the cycling coverage started. As usual David Duffield burbled on about the races and we sat through a roundup of this weeks ‘big’ races. Two commercial breaks later attention was turned to Spain and the ‘Tour Mallorca Senora’, well that’s what Duffer, Duffield called it.

We were all glued to the telly. After a short reprise of the earlier stages, coverage moved to today’s final round. Every time Mum appeared, Jules and I pointed her out to the Walter’s.

“The one at the back?”
“No two in front” of course, the camera kept changing but eventually they concentrated on the pink jersey of race leader long enough to clearly identify her.

The race was a bit dead, but apparently it was over 35º, so that was a good excuse. I pointed the rest of the Apollinaris team out; Tina, Maria and the rest were all working to protect Mum’s position. We saw Mum talk to first Maria then Tina, maybe a minute later Maria shot up the road. No sooner was Maria reeled in than another of the German team did the same, and again. I spotted the tactic and tried to explain to the girls how it hopefully would work. Tina stayed with Mum each time, near enough to the front to counter if need be but out of the wind.

The camera flashed to the one K to go flag, the next shot of the bunch showed the pink jersey with it’s cream escort sat at the head of the phalanx of multi-coloured riders. DD was explaining that Mum’s lead was only a couple of seconds and she couldn't afford to relax. Everyone in our house was sat on the edge of their seats. 500m, 250m, 200m the sprint starting, 100m no sign of Mum but Tina at the front then 50m and Mum slipping from behind her team mate and seemingly shooting forward past her opponents to cross the line a half length in front. We were all cheering and shouting.

“Like I said, cool parental units!” Deb stated when we were a bit calmer.

“…and Jenny Bond takes her second major tour this year.” The commentator was stood outside talking to camera, behind him we could see Mum talking to a clamouring group of media people. He moved closer to the meleé.

“Jenny? Jenny? Can we get a few word’s?”
“Sure” the other media types, sensing a chance to get more than the usual spiel let the commentator move in towards Mum.
“Firstly well done, what does it feel like to win your second major tour in only your first season on the circuit?”
“Well David, I still can’t believe I won the Feminin, that was down to team work and winning here this week is down to that again, thanks guys”
“You’re being too modest Jenny,” the interview was replaced by footage of an earlier stage, “on Wednesday you were out in front for over a hundred kilometres and still took the sprint” we watched the footage of Mum easily taking the sprint and waving her arm in the air in delight then it returned to the interview. “Your family must be very proud?”
“Hi kids, Dave” Mum goofed to the camera, “not half as much as I am of them” she went on.
“So what’s next, the Worlds?”
“They’re a while away yet, but I am on the GB squad”
“We hear the German’s wanted to select you too”
“Yes that did cause a few red faces at the German Federation” Mum chuckled

The commentator did that finger in the ear thing for a moment.

“Thanks for talking to us Jenny, before we go though, we know you’re family aren’t here this time but our spies have been out, your daughter won today too, a very impressive 57.54 for twenty five miles. It must be in the genes!”

Mum’s face made some contortions before she grabbed Tina Porsche who was signing autographs and started jigging about much to Tina’s bemusement.

“Well” David turned back to camera, “there we go folks, Jenny Bond, multi tour winner is more excited by daughter Gaby’s ride than her own! Now back to the studio”

Oh my god, shit, shit, shit!

“I thought you won this morning Drew?” Debbie mentioned
“He did” Dad supplied
“Then who’s this Gaby?” Britney asked, her sister was quicker to put two and two together.
“Cousin Gaby! heck you had us convinced there for a while!” Deb exclaimed
“It’s not what you think!” I put in hurriedly.
“Hey if you want to pretend to be a boy, ‘s your choice. Can’t see why, you’re real pretty!”
“Er girls” Dad spoke loud enough to get everyone’s attention.

 

Maddy Bell 19.02.04

 

 

“KIDS!” he emphasised

I was trying to melt into the carpet, Jules was trying to contain her sniggers and our guests were stopped mid flow.

“Drew?” Dad gave me a questioning look

After the day I’ve had I was not ready for this and by the look I was giving Dad he must have realised that too.

“Okay, we’ll sort this out tomorrow, Drew’s had a long day and I think everyone could do with an early night”
“Daaad!” Jules complained

He shot her a look.

“Okay” she pouted
“Come on Brit, Miss Bell said to be on time in the morning” Debbie mentioned
“Oh yeah, er good night everyone”
“Good night girls” Dad replied
“Night” I offered

Jules joined the girls as they made their way upstairs, whispering

“You realise that we have to tell them something tomorrow” Dad addressed me
“Why does everyone think I’m a girl Dad?”
He shook his head; “I don’t know son”
“I don’t really look like a girl do I?”

Dad looked thoughtful for a minute before answering.

“Not to me or your Mum, but we know you’re a boy. From what I’ve seen, it’s a matter of association.”
“Huh?”
“How do I explain this? Okay, imagine that your friends are all boys, Maddy and the other girls too. Now if I saw you all on the street, I’d think ‘there’s a bunch of boys’. So if I see a bunch of girls on the street I think the same sort of thing, I’m not explaining very well am I?”
“I think I get it so far”
“Okay, so if you a boy are with boys, everyone just see’s you as a boy. But if you’re with the girls, say shopping, people see a bunch of girls, you included”
“But no one mistakes Rhod for a girl”
“Are you sure?”

On reflection, several times they have! But with Rhod it’s more like they don’t notice he’s a boy rather than think he’s a girl!

“What about at Cuckney and stuff, I’m not with the girls then”
“That’s a bit different but it’s still an association thing. For whatever reason,“ he gave me a look, “they think you are a girl. So when they talk about the race, they talk about ‘Gaby’, sort of like Chinese whispers, this morning at Blythe they were all talking about you as if you are a girl because that’s what they think you are. I don’t think anything short of stripping naked would convince them otherwise.”
“And stuff like just now on the telly doesn’t help huh?”
“I’m going to have to talk to your Mum about this, in the meantime I think you should tell the girls the whole story don’t you?”
“I guess. I know, I’ll cut my hair dead short!”
“That’s up to you son, but it might just backfire, girls have short hair too you know”
“Well I still might”
“Anyway Drew, enough for tonight. Go get some sleep.”
“Night Dad”
“G’night Drew”

I headed up the stairs, my mind in turmoil, switched off really, I was at my door before it clicked that that was the wrong door. I could hear the Walter’s girls and Jules chatting. I didn’t mean to earwig but Jules ‘…brother who’s a pretty girl then?” reached me and made me listen.
“are you sure she’s not a girl?” Debbie asked
“I give up!” I could visualise my sibling throwing her arms up in the air. I smiled to myself. I only just heard their ‘goodnights’ in time, diving across into my temporary home and ‘safety’.

As I lay in bed I went over the day’s events, my success on the bike, the walk, and drenching! on the moors, wearing Deb and Brit’s stuff afterwards, phew! Then there was Mum’s brilliant ride, I could have done without the Duffield moment though! Suddenly I’m famous, but not as me, Drew. Oh no! I have to be famous as my unwanted female alter ego! And on top of that the American’s just will not believe that I’m a boy. I fell asleep smiling at the thought of number 70’s ‘shit’ when I passed him!

The visitors were off on their first ‘educational’ trip today to Oxford and Stratford on Avon, it would be fairly late when they get back.

“Hey Drew, you okay?”
“Oh hi Mad. Just thinking”
“Anything interesting?”
“Tell you later”
“You guys coming?” Britney called back
“Yeah” I replied

The six of us walked along, the Americans and Jules having a lively conversation about boys with Mad and me just following along behind. A car tooted as it went past. The visitors waved at the occupants.

“Who was that?” I asked
“Miss Bell” Brit advised
“Who?”
“Our teacher! Like you only saw her on Saturday!”
“Oh right”

We were soon at the school, the school minibus was already out and people were milling about.

“Hi girls” it was Miss Bell
“Hi Miss Bell”
“Are you gonna introduce us?”
“Sorry Miss Bell, this is Jules and Drew Bond who we are staying with” Deb advised
“And I’m staying with Maddy” Sabrina told her
“Nice to meet you girls, I hope this lot are behaving?”
“Er yeah” Jules replied
“JESSICA!”
“Sounds like I’m wanted” Miss Bell mentioned, “nice meeting you and you three,“ she addressed her students, “we leave in five minutes”
“Sure Ma’am” Debbie replied
“She seems really nice” Mad commented
“She is,” Brit replied, “she comes from somewhere near Chicago, she’s a real laugh”
“Not like sour face Frederick’s” Sab added
“Hey, he’s okay” Deb came to his defence

A few minutes later we waved the mini bus off, it has only been two days but we were in need of the break from our trans-pond visitors!

The five of us started walking vaguely towards the Rec.

“What are we gonna do then?” Ally asked
“Well I want to get a haircut” I mentioned
“I’m sure Mum’ll fit you in” Rhod offered
“Why do you want a haircut Drew? I thought you liked it longer?” Bernie put in
“I do”
“Something’s up” Mad surmised, “he was looking very thoughtful earlier”

My expression must have given me away.

“There is something!” Ally declared, “come on Drew, spill!”

Knowing the girls of old there’s no way to get out of an explanation at this stage.

“Okay but somewhere a bit more er, private?”
“We can go back to mine” Mad suggested
“So what are everyone’s American’s like” Bernie started

During the walk to Peters Towers, everyone exchanged their thoughts and impressions of the visitors, seems that so far no one has fallen out, taken instant dislike or generally had a negative incident. Except maybe me! Once we reached our destination we were soon camped in the back yard making use of the morning sun.

“So come on then Drew, what’s happened?” Ally pressed
“What didn’t?” I started, “well you remember…”

“Sheesh Drew, you don’t half get in some fixes” Rhod mentioned
“So you gonna tell them everything?” Bernie asked
“S’pose so”

Mad was chuckling to herself.

“What?” I huffed
“Well don’t you think its funny them thinking that you’re pretending to be a boy?”
“No I don’t!”
“Oh come on Drew, you’ve got to see the funny side?” Bernie added

Which reminds me!

“The other day when we were in town Rhod was muttering about someone called Merfanwee”
“Ooh Rhod’s got a girl friend!” Mad exclaimed, my deflection seemed to be working.
“Come on Rhod who is she?” Bernie took up the chase
“Yes, why don’t you tell us all about her.” a pissed looking Ally added.

Rhod was looking daggers at me.

“I told Drew, she’s my cousin”
“You never mentioned her before?” Mad stated
“I didn’t mention her now” he mentioned giving Ally a strange look.
“So, what’s she like this Merfanwee?” Bern was digging again
“It’s Mfanwy, she thirteen and Welsh okay” Rhod was obviously a bit rattled
“Okay, you don’t have to bite my head off”
“So Drew, you’re getting a haircut so the Americans believe you’re a boy?” Ally changed the direction of the conversation again.
“Er I guess so,” I admitted
“Sounds dumb to me, it would just look like you were trying to be more convincing” Mad told me
“Well if you lot are so clever, what should I do? Apart from strip naked and that is not up for negotiation”
“How about dressing up as a girl but do it really bad?” Bernie suggested
“They’ve already seen him in a skirt remember?” Ally put in.
“Oh yeah”
“Just tell them the truth, if they don’t believe you that’s their problem” Rhod added
“I guess so, it didn’t help with Mum on telly last night”
“Mrs B was on telly again?” Ally enthused
“Yeah, didn’t I tell you that bit?”
“No you just said they thought you were Gaby still.” Bern advised

So I had to re-live what happened last night.

“Now I see why you are so pissed Drew” Mad stated when I finished.
“Can we change the subject please” I implored
“Yeah, what are we doing for the rest of the day?” Rhod voiced the question

In the end we decided on a game of Trivial Pursuit, well you start running out of things to do after a couple of weeks! However after a particularly heated argument over ‘where is the capital of Germany?’ we all know its Berlin but the card said Bonn, the game broke up. Mrs P supplied some sandwiches for lunch after which we spent a couple of hours playing a cross between cricket and softball. Another day gone!

“Good day girls?” Dad asked when the Walter’s got back to the house, Mrs Rose, Bernie’s Mum, dropped them off.
“Not exactly a fun day” Britney told us
“Strat Ford was pretty cool” her sister contradicted
“Well it was s’posed to be educational” Jules put in
“Everyone ready to eat?”
“I could eat a scabby dog!” I supplied in answer to Dad’s question. After all we had been waiting for the girls to get back before eating.
“Urgh!” the girls chorused
“Well you’ll have to manage on sweet & sour for now” Dad chuckled

It was well after eight when we finally adjourned to the lounge. Dad started the conversation.

“Lets get this Gaby thing straightened out once and for all”

The Walter’s attention was ensured and I tried to slide out of the room.

“Dad!” Jules exclaimed pointing at me.
“You, sit!” Dad instructed, “right girls, you deserve an explanation and I’ll give you that now, anything more you’ll need to get from Drew. What I say in the next few minutes stays in this room. I’m sure you’ll have some questions that’s fine but this conversation ends it right?”
“Sure Mr B” Deb agreed
“Britney?”
“No sweat” she allowed
“Let me start with a fact. Contrary to popular belief, Drew is my son! This whole Gaby thing started last Christmas…” Dad gave a much simplified and shortened version of events as he knew them, the girls hanging on every word, their jaws gradually dropping towards their chests.
“…and that brings us up to date. That cover everything Drew?”

Concise but thorough, he didn’t know about a lot of stuff (thankfully) but the way he put it I came out looking like the victim of circumstance that I considered myself. I nodded in agreement.

“You must have some questions girls?”
“So like, the bike race guys, they just thought you were a girl without any reason?” Brit asked

I was more than a bit embarrassed but in for a penny!

“Well, yes, I mean no.”
“Stop dithering Drew,” Jules told me, “Drew and the gang were mucking around and he ended up going to a race with makeup on.”
“I didn’t know!” I interjected
“Well ever since, he’s been Gaby to most of the bike crowd” she went on
“Weird!” Debbie stated, “and you’ve put up with it?”
“We’ve tried to sort it out” Dad mentioned, “but now they think that Drew is Gaby’s brother”
“Talk about skitzo” Brit put in
“And these other times? They’re like all circumstantial?” Deb asked
“Like yesterday” I agreed
“Jeez Drew, I’m real sorry, I wouldn’t have done that but I was convinced you really were a girl. I am so embarrassed” Deb told us
“Me too Drew” her sister agreed.
“Right, I’m glad that’s sorted” Dad indicated that that conversation was at an end. As if on cue the phone started to ring. “Get that please Drew”

“Bond residence”
“Is that you Drew?”
“Mum!”
“How’s everything in England?”
I put my hand over the mouthpiece and pointlessly told the room, “it’s Mum”
“Er fine, we saw you on telly last night, that was brill!”
“Well I was fairly happy too, well done Drew, that was a great ride you did as well”
“We saw”
“So how’s the visit going?”
“Er okay I guess, we went walking yesterday and they went to Oxford and Stratford today”
“Sounds like there’s something else?”
“Well, we just got through explaining about Gaby”
“Oh! And I don’t suppose I helped did I?”
“Not really, but it’s all sorted now. Are you back in Germany now?”
“Just for a few days, we’ve got a load of crit’s in Holland and Belgium in the next few weeks”
“I miss you Mum”
“I miss you and Jules too. Hmmm, I was going to save it as a surprise but what the heck. Do you fancy coming to the bike show next month?”
“Do I! When? Where?”
“Whoa Trigger! It’s the first weekend in September down on Bodensee. I need to sort it out with your Dad, is he there?”
“Yeah, I’ll pass you over”
“Bye for now Drew”
“Bye Mum”

I gave Dad the handset and despite myself listened to Dad’s call.

“Hi luv…oh we’re coping…great finish, all the kids were cheering you on…yes, I think we’ve got that sorted now…I’m sure he’d enjoy that…when?…I don’t think I can…I know, I’ll see what I can arrange…love you too…I’ll just get your daughter.”

Jules was there in a flash.

“Mum!”

Dad turned to me.

“Your Mum’s just told me about the show, I’ve got to work that weekend but I’ll see what we can sort out eh?” He took himself off to the kitchen ruffling my hair on the way.

I smiled weakly but my heart sank.

“What weekend?” Britney asked
“Mum’s got me a ticket to go the bike show in Germany next month”
“That’s cool huh?”
“Yeah but Dad’s got to work so it looks like it’s off”
“Bummer!”
“You could say that”

Tuesday. Mr Wood has arranged an afternoon trip to Creswell Crags so we’ve got the morning free. Just as well, what with one thing and another there’s plenty to do around the house, washing, cleaning and stuff. With four of us at it, we zipped through the house in no time and once again we set out to meet Mad and Sab. The weather was so unlike England in August, just a gentle breeze ruffled our hair as the sun made it’s presence felt from a clear blue sky. Shouldn’t complain, it’ll probably snow tomorrow!

We were all in shorts teamed with summer tops for the girls and what I thought was an appropriate t-shirt for me, the Gardoms rock art that we went to on Sunday. Although it’s only a short way from home, I’ve never been to The Crags before, all I know is that it’s some sort of archaeology thing. It really does seem odd being the only boy with so many girls, I know, I’m usually outnumbered but now it’s double the effect! The six of us stopped off at the bakery to get some lunch, it’s too early to eat before we go, we leave at 12.30.

Laden with an assortment of sandwiches and buns, we arrived at school all of five minutes before we were due to depart!

Maddy Bell 26.02.04

 

 

“There you are girls” Miss Bell greeted our little gang
“Oh hi Miz Bell, we’re not late are we?” Deb asked
“Not late, just last! Now come on you’re in the back bus with me”

We followed her past the other minibus and joined the waiting group at the second of the school buses. Miss bell was not quite accurate; Mr Wood was last as he’d popped into his office while they were waiting. As you can imagine, a dozen teenagers generate quite a bit of noise and we didn’t notice much beyond the bus as we drove up the A60 through Cuckney, then turned towards Creswell. The journey took all of ten minutes.

“We there already?” someone asked
“Yes we are” Miss Bell told the bus in general, “you can leave your bags on the bus but don’t leave any valuables right?”
“Yes Miz Bell” the Americans chorused much to our amusement.

Soon a couple of dozen kids and Reg, who was driving the second bus, were assembled in front of the three teachers.

“Settle down please” Mr Wood started
“Darla!” Mr Frederick’s hollered
“Sorry sir”
“Mr Wood”
“Thank you Jack, right people. This afternoon we are visiting Creswell Crags, which is one of the most important archaeological sites in England. In a moment we’ll go into the centre and watch an orientation film, then we’ll split you into two groups for a tour of the site. Any questions?”
“Please sir” I asked
“Yes Drew?”
“Will we have time to eat, we brought sandwiches”
“Anyone else?” he enquired. A small forest of hands reached skyward.
“I suppose we can have a few minutes before the tour then. Anything else?” Silence was the answer. “Okay then, let’s get inside.”

Ten minutes later we were all seated on hard benches watching a very arty film explaining about the significance of this little gap in the limestone on the Derbyshire / Nottinghamshire border. We sat through the twenty-minute presentation, some in rapt attention, others in some level of boredom. At least afterwards we had some idea why we were here!

“Okay people. I’ve spoken to Mike from the centre, if you can all be back at the front entrance in thirty minutes.”
“Come on guys, I saw some seats around the front” Britney mentioned

The six of us dived out of the door and followed Brit to the front of the visitor centre where we quickly secured a picnic table.

“We didn’t get any drinks!” Mad exclaimed
“Damn!” Sabrina agreed
“We can get something inside, come on Brit” I suggested

We nearly collided with the adults who had decided to have a coffee in the interlude.

“Slow down girls!” Miss Bell instructed
“Sorry Miz Bell” Brit allowed as I goldfished.
“Go on with you” Mr Wood waved his arm towards the door obviously suppressing a laugh.

 

“Your Miss Bell seems to think I’m a girl” I huffed
“Well? Everyone else seems to.”
“Brit!” I whined
“Alright, I’ll sort it, let’s get the drinks huh?”

Why me?

 

We reassembled after our al fresco lunch and joined the general conversation while we waited for further instruction.

“Okay people, can all the year tens and their guests join Miss Bell, everyone else will be with myself and Mr Frederick’s.” Mr Wood advised

We all shuffled to the new locations.

“Right everyone, Mike and Laura here will be taking you around the site. Behave and do as they ask please. Over to you Mike”

Laura drew the short straw and got our group, our double gang plus Reg and Miss Bell.

“We’ll let Mike get a bit of a start,“ Laura started, “I see we have at least one archaeologist here.” She mentioned. I guess she recognised my t-shirt. “Before we go anywhere do you all understand what you are going to see?”
“Er not really” Sabrina admitted, “I got the hunting thing but the whole cave thing?” she shrugged
“Well I’ll try to explain as we go round, we’ll go into one of the caves in a few minutes and it will hopefully be a bit clearer.” Laura stated

A few minutes later the enthusiasm of Laura soon had us more interested in the life hereabouts over 10,000 years ago than you’d think possible. We crossed the road and climbed the path up to a low cave entrance where we reassembled.*

“Right, now there isn’t much room inside so we’ll do this in groups of four. We are still actively excavating inside so please don’t touch anything. Come on you four, you can be first.” That was Mad, Sab, Brit and me! We followed Laura through the iron grill then donned the hard hats that she doled out.

“Kewl!” Brit advised
“You look like Bob the Builder Drew” Mad added

I gave her a ‘look’ in reply. Laura then took us further into the cave. Wow! Laura explained how they were excavating in 1cm cubes and using fancy measuring equipment to plot everything they find. Dad would be well impressed! She showed us some of the tiny bones and pieces of flint, microliths she called them, and crawled into the tiny space that the diggers worked from. Sheesh they must be dedicated or daft, most likely both!

We emerged into the sunshine and Miss Bell left Reg in charge as she joined the next group.

“You’d never even think of rhinoceros’s here”
“I thought they only lived in Africa” Sab mentioned
“This hardly looks like the Serengeti” Mad joined in
“It was warmer back then” I told them
“It’s like that book you were reading Brit” Sab opined
“Which one?”
“You know that cave thing”
“Clan of the Bear or something. Yeah I guess it is something like that but this is the real thing!”

“You riding tonight Drew?” Rhod asked joining us
“I’d like to, depends when we get back”
“Reg says we’ll be home by five”
“You doing more bike racing Drew?” Brit enquired
“Maybe, what about you Mad?”
“If you do” she agreed
“You race too?” Sabrina queried
“I’ve just started, I borrow Mrs B’s bike”
“Kewl!” Brit mentioned
“It’s not exactly girl sport” Sab went on
“Mrs B does it! It’s pretty neat really” Mad answered
“How’d you get into it?”
“She started coming out with the others to cheer me on” I supplied, “Dad calls them ‘Drew’s Cheerleaders’.”
“Sounds like fun to me” Brit mentioned, “hey I’ve brought my cheer kit, we could do it proper for you guys eh Sab?”
“Rhod? You coming or what?” Ally called over.

There ensued a second change of cave visitors.

“So girls, everything okay?” Miss Bell asked returning to the light.
“Fine Miss,” Brit started, “er, Miz Bell?”
“What Britney?”
“Well like,”
“What she was trying to tell you is that Drew here is a boy” Sab told her.

She looked around the assembled faces a bit puzzled.

“I’m Drew Miss”
“Oh my! I am so sorry Drew. I saw you all together and I never thought”

With one hand to her mouth she sized me up.

“I can see now, but you do look like your friend here”
“Maddy” Mad offered
“Yes Maddy.”
“They’re cousins Miz Bell, we all thought he was a girl too” Brit went on

By this stage I was just passing from pink to scarlet. Mad and Bernie hugged me from opposite sides.

“When Mr Wood was talking about ‘Drew’ before I never realised he meant you. You’re the one with the famous mum yeah?”
“That’s Drew!” Bernie agreed

Laura chose that moment to re-emerge and the conversation returned to ancient history. It took another hour to get back to the centre where we rejoined Mr Wood’s group.

“I hope you’ve all enjoyed this afternoon and will join me in thanking Mike and Laura for their efforts in educating us.”

We all joined Mr Wood in a round of applause.

“It’s been a pleasure” Mike replied, “thank you”
“Okay then people, you’ve got ten minutes for the shop and toilets”

Just like any other school trip we all fell on the sales counter, some of us out of habit, others seriously looking for souvenirs. By the time everyone got back to the buses it was more like quarter of an hour but hey, it’s only ten minutes back to school! I bought a guidebook thing for Dad; he’s got a collection from all over.

By the time we got back to Warsop everything was organised. Mad and me were going to race and the rest would come out to lend a bit of vocal support.

 

Dad provided the taxi for Brit and Sab, Bern’s mum agreed to bring the others out in her Sharan. Mad and I decided to ride out, Mad was starting to get into the whole thing, not serious but enthusiastic! We were a bit surprised when we got to John’s car that there was no sign of Dad or the others, ah well!

“Great ride at the weekend young Bond” John greeted me
“Er thanks”
“You okay now?”
“Fine thanks”
“You both riding I take it?”
“Please” Mad replied
“How about 12 and 15?”
“Great, I’ll be Drew’s rabbit again”
“More like hare!” I joked

Fifteen minutes later I watched as Maddy set off down the hill towards Cuckney and I started my breathing exercises. Deep breath in, hold, out.

“Fifteen”

I rolled myself down to where John was waiting

“Another personal tonight eh young lady?”
“Er I doubt it”
“Thirty seconds. A little confidence goes a long way”
“I guess”
“Fifteen. Good luck Drew, catch your friend. Ten.”
“Thanks” I hit the start button on my computer.
“Five, four, three, two, one, go!”

And I was off again.

You must know this road as well as me by now! I quickly got settled and swept down through the village and kept the momentum going through the HQ area. Fourteen was still in sight as I entered the dip and I was feeling remarkably good. I found out where Dad with Brit and Sabrina got to, just as I passed St Margaret’s Hall I spotted the girls leaping about and as I approached them they started chanting ‘Drew, Drew, we want you. Yeah, yeah, yeah!’

Dad added his own ‘dig, dig, dig” as I drew level.

 

I mentally shook my head, Brit wasn’t kidding. The two Americans were decked out in what I guess were their cheerleading uniforms; there was no way anyone could miss them.

The rest of the gang were stationed at the last crossroads. They were all really vocal but my attention was drawn to the scene ahead of me, Mad was climbing up to the turn by my reckoning about a minute fifteen in front of me with fourteen less than thirty seconds behind her. I just made the brow as Mad headed back past me from the turn with her pursuer closing rapidly. By the time I returned to that point myself Mad was approaching the junction and our secondary cheer squad. Thirteen thirty - excellent time!

I had to concentrate on keeping my cadence steady, I flicked up a gear as I passed the gallery and started to chase Mad down. The gap steadily closed but we were back at cheer central before I caught her. Sabrina and Britney abandoned their choreographed moves in favour of joining Dad in his vocal support at the kerbside. Fourteen was only a few metres in front and I made passing him my aim as we entered the last mile. I took his scalp as we took the last corner and there in front was the finish!

“Fifteen!”

It was over, I coasted along and was surprised when Mad caught up with me what seemed like scant seconds afterwards.

“Huh?”
“Urgh huh!” Mad wheezed
“You okay Mad?”
“Ergh, yeah I think”

Well it seems that when I overtook her she decided to try and hang on. So the chaser became the chased and by the finish I only managed to take an extra hundred metres out of her. 24.51 to me, 28.03 for Mad. Incredible, Mad improved over a minute tonight and me, well looks like I’m Miss-ter consistency!

The two of us found our kit and made our way down to where Dad had parked.

“What did you do?” Brit enthused
“Did you win Drew” Sab added
“You look done in Mad”

The questions came thick and fast and the only reply was a tremendous sneeze from Mad!

“You alright Madeline?” Dad asked
“Ye-ye ACHOOO!” we all ducked, “s’just the... A…A...ACHOO! Rape pollen”
“Rape pollen?” Sab queried
“You want a drink or something?” Dad offered
“Please”
“You know all that yellow stuff in the fields?”
“Its called Rape? Well weird.” Brit mentioned

I saw the Rose’s dark blue Sharan pull up behind Dads car. Amy, Dan, Darla, Rhod, Ally and Bernie all poured out and we started all over again. Bern and Al decided to take on the vacant masseur’s posts, Dad wandered off to talk to Mrs R.

I looked at Mad, Mad looked at me, and we both started giggling! Ten minutes later John came over.

“You two really are a breath of fresh air! I’ve never seen anyone get the support you two have”

I just shrugged.

“Anyway, what I came over for, next week is the club championship over at Tuxford so don’t turn up here”
“Thanks for telling us” Mad was a bit downcast by the news, she’s really getting into it! As we don’t belong to the club that puts the events on we don’t get to ride their championship.
“What I was going to say,” John went on, “is that you are both invited to ride next week, you’ve been out all season supporting us so the guys have ‘elected’ you both to honorary members”
“Well cool!” Darla mentioned
“Really?” Mad asked
“I wouldn’t say so would I now girls?”
“Thanks John, I’d best ask Dad if he can take us”
“I’ll grab a word, if need be I’ll take you out”

John headed off to where Dad was still talking to Bern’s mum.

“Girls?” Amy looked confused, “I thought you were a boy Drew?”
“He is” Mad started to explain, “but John and that lot,” she motioned towards the other riders, “have got it in their heads that he’s a girl.”
“It’s complicated” I mentioned
“Cool bikes guys” Dan stated, “Rhod’s just been showing me. They’re so light, my bike weighs a ton!”
“You should see in Drew’s garage, they’ve got loads of bikes” Brit told him
“I just borrow Mrs B’s bike” Mad advised
“We could all go for a ride” Ally suggested
“What about bikes?” Bernie asked
“I bet we could borrow some” Rhod enthused
“Come on kids, time to go” Mrs Rose called over
“Anyone fancy going to Meadowhall tomorrow?” Mad queried
“Shopping?” Dan groaned
“Well we usually catch a film too” I soothed
“Sounds like fun” Darla added
“Bus stop at nine then” Mad pronounced
“See ya”
“Bye”

Dad came back over.

“You two riding or catching a lift?” Dad asked
“Chips?” I suggested
“Okay, lets get the bikes sorted then”

Five minutes later we were away, Dad tooted to John as we passed and we headed home.

“Damn, I didn’t bring any spare shoes” I told the car in general, “I’ll have to wear these” I mentioned waving a race shoe.
“I’ve got some spares” Brit advised. I swear these Walter’s girls are better equipped than Superman! “Here you go”

She presented me with a pair of sandals.

“Er thanks Brit”

Mad suppressed a giggle. Okay, so they were girl’s sandals and with the best will in the world they couldn’t be described otherwise. I slipped my socks off and put on the unfamiliar toe post sandals in all their pinkness. No ones going to notice now are they? I mean into the chip shop, buy chips, back to car, couple of minute’s tops.

Brit suppressed a smile as I clawed my toes to hold them on.

“Everyone want chips?” Dad asked as we all exited the car.
“Sure” Brit agreed
“Not for me" Sabrina declined the finest food on earth.

We all trooped into the chippy and joined the queue, me very conscious of my footwear.

“Oh hi kids, sampling the local fare?” it was Miss Bell grasping a carrier of deep fried delights who quickly took in our strange array of clothing.
“Hi Miz Bell. We’ve just been watching Drew and Mad race their bikes”
“And cheering?” she motioned to their almost forgotten cheer outfits.
“Oh yeah well it just seemed a good idea”
“You win guys?”
“Drew beat me by miles” Mad told her
“Well done Drew. Did you all enjoy the trip today?”
“Yeah it was real neat, all that careful digging and stuff, I’d never have the patience” Sabrina mentioned.
“You kids doing anything exciting tomorrow?”
“A bunch of us are going to, where is it Mad?”
“Meadowhall, it’s a big shopping centre over at Sheffield” Mad explained
“Might have guessed you’d end up shopping Britney!”

Brit actually started to blush; she’s a secret mall bunny!

“Well I’ll see you on Thursday then, enjoy your food” Miss Bell concluded.
“Bye Miz Bell”
“You too”

 

Jessica looked again at the kids in the chip shop. If Drew’s really a boy he doesn’t make a very good one poor lad. He looks like the other English girl’s twin sister, hell; he’s even wearing pink sandals! She shook her head and started back to the Johnson’s with their supper.

Maddy Bell 07.03.04

* Since this was written the road has been closed/diverted so traffic doesn't pass through the gorge anymore. They've also discovered a bunch of cave art dating back maybe 10000 years in another cave - the only real examples from that period known in northern Europe.

 

 
“Come on Brit, we’ll be late!”
“Alright already!”

Britney emerged from the house pulling a sandal on, the pink pair I ended up wearing last night.

“Come on, there’s only one bus an hour”
“Sorree! I didn’t realise we were on such a tight schedule!”

She caught up to me and we walked in silence out to the bus stop. We had barely crossed the road when the bus hove into view.

“We’ve got to go upstairs!” Darla exclaimed
“Too right” Dan agreed

I hate riding upstairs; I nearly always end up feeling ill with all the swaying about. Ah well! We paid our fares and we trooped upstairs, luckily this morning no one else was riding on top as with ten teenagers we made quite a bit of noise. It’s a good job it’s only a twenty minute ride into Worksop coz I was getting a bit green by the time we got off. The Sheffield bus was waiting, a single decker, yes!
 
“What’s that?” Brit asked as we swung round the roundabout.
“What?”
“That there” she pointed
“Meadowhall”
“What is it?”
“That’s where we’re going, that’s the shopping centre”
“Well cool!” Amy mentioned from behind us
“Wow” Britney echoed

We tumbled off the bus at the interchange a few minutes later.

“Are you lads going into Sheffield?” Bernie asked
“Dunno” I admitted
“Dan?” Rhod asked
“Nah! I’ve gotta see this place” Rhod and I just looked at each other and shrugged.
“Looks like we’re staying” I answered Bern’s query
“Come on then” Ally enthused leading the way up the escalator to the footbridge.
“This place is huge” Brit stated
“I suppose so” I tried to contain a smirk, the Americans were impressed by a shopping centre! I mean I know people come from all over the UK at Christmas and stuff but I always thought everything was ‘bigger and better’ in America.
 
We joined the other shoppers, a large percentage of which were our peers, and nearly all were girls. I can’t say that visiting this place is my favourite excursion and school holidays are worst. Seems every time I come over, Gaby makes an appearance, please, not today!

The girls led us through M&S and into the centre proper and the heaving mass of humanity that inhabits Meadowhall. For those poor souls who haven’t visited this icon of shoppingdom, the centre has a sort of hierarchy of shops, the posh shops at one end, gradually changing to discount stores and stuff at the other. Over our numerous visits, the gang have developed a strategy whereby we cover pretty much all the stores we want to go to with the least walking. Today we would follow the ‘classic’ route, no one was really looking to buy anything, and we’re just doing the mall thing.
 
You don’t want boring with a blow by blow account of a teenage mall trawl, suffice to say the girls oohed and aahed in the clothes emporiums, Rhod, Dan and I were more taken with the book and music shops. We don’t usually do the department stores but our guests wanted to see all so even Debenhams got a visit!
 
“We stopping to eat?” Rhod asked as we approached the Oasis

By the looks on several faces, that looked like a good idea!

“Let’s eat and then see what’s on at the pics” I suggested
 
Ten minutes later we had commandeered seating and everyone had their food of choice.

“This place is so cool” Amy mentioned
“Yeah, our local mall isn’t half this size” Sab agreed
“We haven’t been round it all yet” Bernie told them
“Not more shops!” Dan complained
“What films are on then Drew?” Mad asked

I checked out the board behind her head.

“Er Starwars three, Harry Potter, Lion King, Notting Hill,”
“Ooh can we see that?” Darla asked
“It’s a PG” Ally stated, “we need an adult with us to see it”
“Darn!”
“She’s got a thing for that English actor guy with the funny name” Amy told us
“I do not and his name’s Hugh Grant”
“See!” Amy declared
“What else is on?” Ally queried
“Oh cool, the original Italian Job!” I enthused
“You’re only s’posed to blow the bloody doors off!” Rhod did his best or more accurately worst Michael Caine impression. By the blank looks from the Americans, they’d never seen this classic!
“It’s a 12” I whined
“Well I suppose it is quite good” Bernie allowed
“What’s it about?” Brit asked
“I think it’s a bank robbery,” Rhod started
“And there’s this brill car chase” I went on
“Well I’m in” Dan mentioned
“Okay” Mad allowed

I looked at the other girls

“Sure why not” Amy agreed
 
We finished eating and rode the escalator up to the cinema, the film was due to start almost straight away so we dived down to screen three where we joined a couple of dozen, mostly older cinema goers.

If you haven’t seen the film, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! There are some real cool old cars, E-type Jags, an Aston Martin; I cringe every time I watch the bit with the Mafia trashing the cars! And that car chase! By the time we left even the girls joined in as the lads started a chorus of 'Self Preservation Society’ much to the amusement of the olds.
 
“What now?” Sab queried
“There’s still a bit over an hour before the bus” Bernie supplied
“We haven’t been around the ‘Lanes’,” Mad stated, “I want to have a look in that place we got your dress Drew.”
“We missing something Mad?” Amy asked

Brit was giving me a look; I just wanted to die on the spot. Mad finally realised her gaff!

“Er we were doing a play in drama class and er Drew…” she was struggling
“You know, ‘Some Like it Hot’? and Drew had to play this guy who has to pretend to be a woman” Bernie sprang to the rescue
“Yeah, I think it was Tony Curtis in the film” Mad supplied

Brit didn’t look too convinced but the others seemed to accept the flimsy story.

“Come on Dan, there’s some cool shops down there” Rhod chivvied leading our party back downstairs.
“Mad!” I complained holding her back behind the others
“Sorry Drew, I didn’t realise what I said. But the play idea was good eh!”
“I hate acting”
“Well we never said you were any good!” well that told me!
 
We got back to the bus station a few minutes before the bus turned up and without further incident. The journey back home was a lively affair and I felt sure the driver was going to chuck us off we were making so much noise! With the Americans off to York tomorrow, the rest of us agreed on a trip to Mansfield baths.
 
After dinner Dad called me into the kitchen.

“Drew, I know you were looking forward to it, but I can’t get away to take you to the bike show.”

I know I had been forewarned but he might as well have slapped me round the head with a wet fish!

“I could go on my own”
“I already thought of that. You have to be over fifteen to travel out of the country on your own, I checked. Sorry Drew, maybe next time eh?”
“Yes Dad” I mumbled with a trembly lip
“Come here son”

Dad took me into his arms and hugged me close while I sniffled a bit.

“Daad!” Jules called out, “where’s the…oh, it’ll wait” she finished as she spotted what was going on.
“Be there in a minute Jules”
“No hurry”
“Now Drew, come on, pull yourself together, if I could have taken you I would, you know I would.”
“Yes Dad”
“There’ll be other opportunities, other shows. I promise you that we’ll sort a trip out okay?”
“Okay” I half-heartedly agreed.
“Come on, let’s go through, the girls’ll be wondering what we’re up to!”
 
As you might guess, I wasn’t in a great mood for the rest of the evening and I slunk off to bed pretty early. I know it isn’t Dad’s fault but who else can I blame? Life sucks!
I was stirred from my navel contemplation by a soft knocking on the door.

“Who is it?”
“Britney? Can I come in?”
“Okay”

She pushed the door open and joined me in my cupboard.

“You okay? You seemed like, pretty low after you talked with your Dad.”
“Yeah, I’ll live. He just told me that we can’t go to the show in Germany coz he’s got to work.”
“Bummer!”
“Yeah” I agreed

We sat in silence for a minute.

“This room is really small” Brit mentioned
“Yeah, it usually just gets used for junk”
“Sorry Drew”
“What for?”
“Well like we sort of evicted you”
“Not much choice really was there?”
“I still feel guilty, I mean you’ve even moved everything out of your closets”
“Not everything”
“Okay not everything but you shouldn’t have to move anything”
“Told you, I don’t mind”
“Erm, I’ve got a confession to make”
“What are you on about?”
“Well you know you left some stuff in the big closet?”
“Yes” I agreed
“Well like Deb and me were like, curious so we had a look”
“So?”
“There was some stuff. At the back. On a hanger?”

What is she on about? I only left my school uniform in there.

“And? It’s only my school uniform”
“Well like there’s a girls uniform too, skirt and blouse and stuff. We weren’t gonna say anything but…”

Bugger! I thought I gave Mad all that stuff!

“It’s er, Gaby’s. She left it when she stayed over at the end of term, Jules didn’t have anywhere to hang it so it ended up in there.” I’m not sure I sounded convincing.
“Oh right. Sorry for prying.”
“S’all right” did she really believe me?
“I sure would like to meet with Cousin Gaby some time?” the look she was giving me was a very thinly veiled invitation.
“Yeah, well perhaps if she gets back before you leave.”
“Sure. I’d best go to bed I guess, see you in the morning”
“Night Britney”
“Night Drew” she pulled the door shut behind her.

She knows, I’m certain of it! Shite!

 
“See ya later!” Deb called over
“Bye!” I replied with a wave
“Yeah don’t drown!” Brit suggested

We waited until the minibus pulled away before heading off ourselves.

“Mum said she’d pick us up” Bernie mentioned
“I can afford a burger afterwards then” Rhod observed
“I don’t know how you eat those veggie things?” Mad stated as we walked towards the bus shelter.
“They’re not so bad!”
“Well you won’t get me giving up meat,” I added
“I’m thinking about it” Ally put in
“You’re a bad influence Rhod” Bern joked
“Hey come on the bus is coming!” I informed them after spotting said vehicle trundling towards us.

We just got to the stop in time and bundled on. At least without the Americans we could sit downstairs thus avoiding the nausea-inducing ride up top! We spent the half hour ride ‘discussing’ the merits of a meat free diet, as the solitary example of the genre, Rhod tried his best to defend his stance but with little conviction. Not only that but we all know that he’d kill for a proper sausage!
 
“We riding or walking?” I asked once we got off in the bus station
“It’s not far, let’s walk” Ally suggested
“Yeah it’s not like it’s raining or anything” Mad agreed.

We headed off and it’s one of those ‘only a minute in the car but fifteen walking’ jobs! Finally we arrived at the municipal baths and joined the queue to go in, We paid for two hours and then congregated before going to change to pool our valuables into a locker. Then we split up to get changed.

I donned my swim shorts, an atrocious pair of long stripy things that Mum got me and headed out to the pool.

 
I was getting a few odd looks as I waited for the others but didn’t pay any attention. Rhod plonked himself down next to me.

“Looks like you’ve caught the sun”
“That’s one thing about riding a bike, you get a good tan” I agreed
“There’s the girls, race you across” he said diving into the crowded pool.

I followed a bit more cautiously and set to with an enthusiastic crawl to try to close the gap.

“Do you two have to race?” Mad asked a couple of minutes later as we stood dripping in front of the girls.
“It was Rhod!”
“Well looking at the result you’d better stick to two wheels” Bern pointed out, and I have to agree that Rhod is somewhat more accomplished in the pool.
“Turn round Drew” Mad requested
“What for?”
“I just want to see something”
“What?”
“Can’t you just do it without twenty questions?”
“Okay already” I turned round so that my back was to the girls. “Satisfied?” I told them over my shoulder.
“You can turn back now” Ally allowed
“What’s that all about?” Rhod asked
“No idea” I shrugged
“Erm Drew,” Mad started, “er you’ve got some er interesting tan lines”
“Huh?”
“Oh wow, I didn’t notice before!” Rhod mentioned
“Notice what? Come on spill”
“Er, well you can sort of see where you had your swimming cozzie on” Ally supplied.
“What are you on about, I’m wearing shorts”
“You didn’t at Ladybower the other week” Mad reminded me

Then it dawned on me.

“You mean…oh shit!” I tried looking over my shoulder.
“It looks like a vest at the front,” Bernie added, “but there’s no doubt what it represents on your back!”
“I’m getting changed!”
“Don’t be daft Drew, we only just got here” Mad stated
“It’s alright for you, no ones laughing at you”
“No ones laughing at you either” Ally pointed out
“I bet hardly anyone notices” Bern soothed
“Hmmpf!”
“Come on, you girls aren’t even wet yet” Rhod said grabbing Ally’s arm and dragging her towards the flume.
“Drew, don’t worry so” Bern advised setting off after the others.
“She’s right you know, come on” Mad agreed pulling me along in her wake.
 

Two hours later we were sat in the cafeteria overlooking the pool. In truth after a few minutes I pretty much forgot about the pattern etched onto my back and concentrated on enjoying myself. We did do a bit of swimming but mostly we rode the flume or sat watching the action from the poolside.

“Let’s borrow your phone Drew?” Bernie asked

I retrieved it from my pocket and handed it over.

“Who you ringing Bern?” Ally asked
“Well duh! Mum of course, you do want a lift home?”
“Stop teasing Bee” Maddy told her.
“Mum?…it’s Bernadette…yeah we’re just eating…half two?…okay, see you then, bye”
“Its Bernadette” Rhod mimicked
“Come here you!” Bernie made a grab for him.
“Watch the phone!” I mentioned
“Oh sorry Drew” Bernie apologised returning to her seat and passing my phone back.
“So what’s the crack?” Mad asked
“She’ll pick us up by the bus station at two thirty”
“It’s only ten past twelve” I stated
“Ooh shopping!” Ally enthused
“We only went to Meadowhall yesterday” I complained
“Don’t be such a wuss Drew” Mad said grabbing a few of my fries, “you can never have too much shopping”
“If you say so”

 
We walked up into the town and Rhod and me followed the girls up the high street.

“Hey Gaby!”

I continued talking to Rhod about next Tuesday’s race.

“Gaby?” the voice was much closer and in a reflex action I turned to see who was calling.
“I thought it was you!” bum! It’s Sarah!
“Er hi Sarah”
“Hi yourself”
“You remember Rhod?”
“You came to the shop?” she asked him
“Yeah” he agreed
“So what are you up to?”
“We’ve been to the baths this morning, we’re just killing some time until our lift turns up”
“Talk about blonde! I didn’t notice your hair was wet even!”

Although I wanted to get away, I could hardly just say ‘bye’ and go could I?

“What about you?”
“Dinner hour. Bum! I’ve got to go to the bank! I’ll have to go Gab, see ya later, bye Rob”
“Bye Sarah”
“Yeah bye” Rhod echoed as Sarah darted off up the street.
“Rob?”
“Well she is very blonde!” I pointed out
"Come on you two, there’s a cute top in ‘Teen Queen’ I want to try on” Mad jollied us
“Women” Rhod rolled his eyes, which put me in teenage hysterics.
 

There was one good thing about the trip to the boutique, I remembered that it’s Jules Birthday in just over a week and I spotted a book she wants in ‘Smith’s’ as I was dragged past by Mad! Mrs R was waiting for us when we got back to the bus station and we all piled in, Mad clutching her ‘cute’ top! It was only three o’clock when we got back to Warsop so we ended up camping out at Bernie’s for an hour or so before going to meet the returning day-trippers.
 
Maddy Bell 13.03.04

 

 

“Here they come” Ally advised as the minibus pulled into the yard.

We waited while they unloaded and they came across to where we waited, sat on the wall.

 

“Hi guys” Brit greeted us as they joined our little gang, there was a similar scenario over where Jules was waiting with Charlie, Anna and the other year 12’s to be.
“Come on Amy, Mum’s expecting us straight back” Bernie mentioned
“Yeah we ought to get back too” Rhod agreed
“See you on Friday” Mad stated
“Yeah” Rhod replied and the four of them set off
“What are you up to tomorrow Al?” I asked
“Working at Sylv’s worse luck”
“You going too Darla?”
“I guess, could be fun”
“If you get bored give us a call and we’ll rescue you” Mad offered
“You lot coming?” Jules called over
“Yeah”
“See ya!”
“Bye!”

The six of us made our way towards home, we left Mad and Sabrina at the end of their road and the Bond Walter’s collective walked the last bit back to the house.

“Do you guys walk everywhere?” Deb asked
“Pretty much unless we can grab a lift” Jules replied
“I’ve never walked so much! Well not when we’re not on a hike” Deb half complained.
“I suppose there was a lot of walking today in York?”
“Way too much” Brit agreed

We arrived home, Dad was only just home so Jules started preparing our tea, the Walter’s went to change and I just collapsed in the front room. Although today had been pretty good I was still feeling miffed about the bike show. Dad was busy sorting out the post so I headed upstairs to mope for a bit. I don’t know when I made the decision but I found myself hitting the speed dial for Gran.

“Hiya Gran”
“Is that you Juliette?”
“No Gran it’s Drew”
“Oh sorry Drew, you both sound the same on the phone. What’s up?”
“Why do you always think there’s something wrong when I ring?”
“Because there usually is?”
“I guess”
“So are you going to tell me?”
“Well Mum said I could go but Dad can’t take me and it’s not fair” I spewed without drawing breath.
“Slow down! Now start again, your Mum said you could go?”
“Sorry Gran. Mum’s got me a ticket for the big bike show in Germany in three weeks.”
“That’s nice”
“Yeah well Dad has to work and I can’t go on my own, we already checked”
“I see. And I suppose you really want to go?”
“It would be so cool. Mum’s doing a PA and all the latest kit and stuff’ll be there, it’s just so unfair Gran”
“Life’s like that sometimes Drew. How are you going with your visitors?”
“Uh, okay I guess. Britney’s pretty cool and Deb seems to get on with Jules okay.”
“Your Mum told me about Sunday when I spoke to her yesterday”
“Everything?”
“Your race win, why was there more?”

I decided not to elaborate just now.

“Er no, that was it”
“I’ll have to go Drew, there’s someone at the door”
“Okay Gran. Thanks for listening”
“It’s alright Drew, tell your Dad to give me a call a bit later on eh?”
“Sure, bye Gran”
“Bye Drew”

I disconnected and lay back on my bed. I must have dozed off because I was woken by a tap on my door.

“Urgh?”
“Drew, food’s on the table” Brit called through the door.
“Coming”

 

I joined the others at the table; Jules had managed to do spaghetti with meatballs and a side salad.

“You kid’s have a good day?” Dad asked
“Yes thanks Mr B, all that history” Deb replied
“That Jorvik place, that is pretty neat”
“There’s a place quite similar in Nottingham too” Jules mentioned
“Where else did you go?” Dad enquired
“That big church place” Brit started
“The Minster?” I offered
“Yeah that’s it, then we went to some big museum with like whole cobbled streets and stuff” she went on.
“Castle Museum or something like that” Deb added
“Miss Bell insisted we walk around some of the wall, that was pretty cool.”

We then spent the rest of the meal discussing what they’d seen and done, I nearly forgot Gran’s message.

“Dad?”
“What son?”
“I was talking to Gran earlier, she said can you ring her”
“Did she say what about?”
“No, not a clue”
“Okay I’ll ring her in a bit”

We spent the rest of the evening watching telly; there was a repeat of ‘Blackadder II’ then the ‘Only Fools’’ episode with the blow-up dolls. Dad and me were in stitches but I’m not sure Brit and Deb got all the jokes, mind you, Jules thinks ‘Coronation Street’ is comedy! Dad went into the kitchen to ring Gran and we headed for bed about ten.

 

“So what’s the plan for today?” Britney asked
“Not sure, Mad’s got something up her sleeve I think”
“She’s pretty cool”
“I guess”
“You guys, like, going together serious?”
“I guess”
“Me and Debs are off to Charlie’s, you two okay?” Jules mentioned
“Yeah, we’re going over to Mad’s. Oh, can Brit borrow your bike?”
“Fine, see you later, you’re doing tea remember”
“Yeah” I mumbled

 

With Brit on Jules bike and me on my mountain bike, we headed over to Peters Towers just before ten. When we got there Sab and Mad were on the drive, Sabrina in her cheerleader outfit and Mad in her badminton kit.

“Hey Drew!”
“Hi Mad”
“What are you guys doing?” Britney asked
“Mad asked me to show her some cheers an’ stuff” Sabrina replied
“It’s so neat Drew” Mad enthused
“Whatever. Anyway why have you guys brought your cheering kit with you?”
“Well I guess we can tell you, just don’t tell Miss Bell” Sab started
“Tell her what?” Mad queried
“Well it’s supposed to be a surprise,” Brit put in”
“What?” Mad and I chorused
“You know there’s a party planned, for when we leave?” Sabrina continued
“Uh huh” I agreed
“Well we’re gonna do a cheer routine, Miss Bell thought it would be something really American?” Sab advised us
“Some of the others are doing some song thing,” Brit added
“No doubt Mr Wood will have us doing something too” Mad mused
“He hasn’t said” I pointed out
“Hey guys, I’ve got an idea” Brit enthused
“I’ve seen that look before” Sabrina smirked

Brit looked thoughtful before going on.

“I’ll have to talk to Miss Bell first”
“Oh come on give!” Mad pouted
“Nah, I’ll tell you tomorrow, what are we doing today?” Brit neatly side-stepped the questions.
“Dunno that I’m going to tell you now” Mad replied
“Don’t even try it Maddy, once Brit is set on something, there’s no turning her” Sab advised
“Hmmpf!” Mad allowed
“So?” I prompted
“Well mum suggested we go for a picnic in Clumber Park”
“Sounds cool” Brit offered
“How are we going, Aunt Carol giving us a lift?”
“Well if it’s okay with Brit and Sab, we’ll go by bike and meet Mum there”
“Good job I borrowed Jules bike for Brit today, what’s Sabrina gonna ride?”
“Mrs Staniforth over the road offered to lend us one of theirs”
“Looks like it’s in your court” I mentioned to the Americans
“Fine by me, Sab?”
“I guess, but you guys better wait for me!”
“Don’t worry Sab, even Speedy Gonzalez here won’t leave you behind” Mad advised, “we’d better get changed though.”

It was nearly eleven when we finally left for the ride over to Clumber. As Mrs P was transporting the supplies we were travelling light and although much slower than my usual pace, it only took us about an hour to ride the few miles. We found Mad’s Mum in the car park at the visitor centre where we locked the bikes up.

“I thought we could eat on the lawn by the lake” Mrs P suggested, “you girls go and find a spot, Drew you can give me a hand with the bags”
“Okay” at least someone was treating me like a boy!

Aunt C pulled out the cool box and a couple of bags with blankets and stuff and we set off for the lawn.

“So how are you Drew?”
“Fair to middling”
“Only middling?”
“Yeah well I feel a bit left out with all the girls round”

She raised a brow in question.

“You know,” I went on, “they’re talking girl stuff all the time”
“That’s what girls do”
“Yeah I ‘spose”
“What about you and my daughter, you getting on okay?”
“Yeah fine, they’re over by that big tree”
“Where? Oh yes I see them”

Mad was waving enthusiastically.

“Well you know what I said before?”
“I’m fine really”
“Good you’ve brought the blankets!” Mad greeted us

After eating, and taking the bags back to the car, we went for a bit of a walk around the rose gardens and along the lake. By the time we got back to the car we were ready for the ice creams that Mrs P fetched for us. We sat and ate the super whip, delaying setting off home by ten minutes but we couldn’t delay any longer! The ride back took a bit longer than the way out, Sabrina really was tired! Brit and I peeled off to go straight home, as I was cook for tonight, I hope they like beans on toast!

 

In the end, and with Brit’s help, we ate sausage, chips and beans, not very healthy but I’m not exactly Jamie Oliver! We had barely finished eating when the phone rang; Dad got up to answer it.

He was gone a few minutes then he called through.

“Drew! Your Gran wants a word”
“Coming!”

He handed me the receiver with a grin on his face. Ah well, it must be old age!

“Hi Gran”
“You sound a bit perkier today”
“We’ve been out for a bike ride”
“With the girls?”
“Just Britney, Mad and Sabrina”
“I spoke to your Mum last night after your Dad called”
“Is she okay?”
“She’s fine, just very busy, she sends her love”
“I do miss her”
“Well the good news is that I’ve sorted your problem out”
“Problem?”
“The bike show.”
“How?” I was instantly excited
“Hold on a mo. Your Mum and Dad have made the arrangements, You, Me and your American friend, Britney is it?”
“Yeah Britney”
“Yes well the three of us will fly over for the weekend, is that okay?”
“Okay? That’s brill! Thanks Gran! Wow just wait till I tell Britney! Oh, won’t she need permission or something?”
“All sorted, your Dad’s been on the phone half the day sorting it out”
“Thanks Gran, I love you”
“I love you too Drew, now go and tell your friend!
“Bye Gran”
“Goodnight Drew”

As you might guess, the rest of the evening was given over to excited chatter about the trip. I could see that Jules was a little miffed and Debs looked a little put out too, which put a bit of a damper on things.

“It’ll be really cool!” I enthused
“All those bikes” Jules mentioned with more than a hint of sarcasm
“There’s other stuff too” I huffed
“Well I’m looking forward to going, I never expected to go any place else other than England” Brit told us.

 

Maddy Bell 13.03.04

 

 
Excitement was still coursing through my veins next morning. I was really going to the bike show in Germany! How cool is that? Today though we were all going on a day trip to Norfolk so I better get my arse in gear! The weather has turned a bit cooler, no clear blue sky this morning, no, today we have a bit of a breeze and a fair bit of cloud.

“Come on Drew, we’ll be late!” Jules hollered up the stairs.
“I’m coming!”
“About time too”

The four of us set off for school, collecting Mad and Sab on the way. At least we weren’t last today, that honour went to Anna and her exchangee, Stacey.

“Everyone here?” Mr Wood enquired
“I think so Mr Wood” Miss Bell supplied.
“Right then people, I think it best if we stick to Tuesdays arrangement with the buses if that’s okay with you Jessica?”
“Suits me” she replied
“Fine. Everybody on board then, we’ll be stopping briefly at Sutton Bridge, okay Reg?”
“We’ll see you there Mr Wood” Reg told him.

So at nine oh five we set off.

“Guess what?” Brit asked the rest of the super gang.
“What?” Darla asked without much interest
“Can I Drew?” she checked
“Why not, if you don’t I will!”
“What?” Bernie asked
“Me and Drew, were going to Germany with his Gran!” Brit enthused
“Oh Wow!” Sabrina stated
“How come?” Amy queried
“You best tell ‘em Drew”
“Well I was supposed to go with Dad but he couldn’t go so my Gran sorted it so me and Brit and her go”
“Slow down Drew, go where?” Ally requested
“It’s some sort of bike show” Brit supplied

I caught a look from Maddy, it was not pleasant!

“How come you get to go Brit?” the question came from the usually quiet Dan.
“Gran didn’t think it was fair for me to disappear and leave her on her own, so she gets to come” I shrugged and sent a pleading look towards Mad, who looked less annoyed but still cheesed.

Up in front Jessica Bell smiled to herself. When Mr Bond had got hold of her yesterday she wasn’t sure what to do, as acting guardian for her charges if she said no it wouldn’t happen. However after a long discussion she agreed, heck she wouldn’t mind going herself! She might teach geography but this trip to England was her first trip outside of North America, a month in Mexico when she was in college and a long weekend to Montreal summed up her previous foreign travel. Behind her, the conversation had moved on to what was happening this weekend.

The two buses headed across country towards Boston and the Fens, soon enough the café cum coach stop at Sutton Bridge appeared and they pulled in.

“Half an hour please!” Jessica advised her charges

Everyone piled inside, first stop the conveniences then into the café proper. The adults all shared a table and a pot of tea; the students mostly made a racket and drank an assortment of soft drinks. Seeing Miss Bell head outside, Britney followed her for her mystery chat.

“…should be fine” Miss Bell finished
“Great! I’ll tell them later!” Britney replied
“Tell who, what later?” Amy asked joining them along with the rest of the gang
“Come on, you can talk on the bus” Miss Bell told us, with a shove in the right direction!

Once back on the road, Amy continued the chase

“Britney Walter’s, what are you plotting?”
“I’m not plotting anything”
“Just spill Walter’s” Dan prompted
“Alright! Sab gave me the idea yesterday. I was going to suggest that Mad and the girls join in our cheer demo at the end of the trip”
“That’d be pretty neat” Amy agreed
“I never thought I’d see the day!” Rhod mentioned, which got him a clip from Ally. There’s definitely something going on there!
“You mean the short skirt and stuff?” Bernie asked
“It’s not compulsory” Brit supplied
“Am I glad I’m a boy” I told no one in particular.
“I’m in!” Mad stated
“Yeah why not” Ally allowed
“Bernie?” Darla queried
“I guess, but I’m not really into all that jumping about stuff”
“No sweat!” a delighted Britney replied.

We were not far from our first stop now, Castle Rising. We turned into the village and up the lane to the car park. Dad would like this place! The main hall peeked over the huge bank and ditch arrangement; from top to bottom must be 30 metres! We followed Mr Wood and Mr Fredericks to the shop cum office then waited whilst our admission was secured.

“Okay everyone, there’s a mobile guide here for everyone, Charlie, can you pass them out please.”
“Yes Sir”
“Follow the instructions and it will take you around the site and explain what you are seeing. If you can meet back here at one, you can go in the shop then. We’ll have lunch before we go on to our next stop.”
“And kids, no horseplay!” Miss Bell added
“Right then, off you go!”

Dad’s influence must be rubbing off; this place looks pretty cool! I chuckled a bit as I imagined what the former residents would have made of all these people wandering around holding these strange lumps of plastic up to their ears! Over the moat and through the gate into the inner ward. Wow! That is one neat keep place! It was a temptation to shortcut direct to the hall but thought I’d best do it right. Most of our group were by now just wandering about, the guides forgotten, these ruins need exploring!

“Funny place to put a church huh?”
“Oh hi Miss Bell, yeah I guess so”
“You like this sort of stuff?”
“My Dad’s into castles and stuff so we get dragged round quite a few, I ‘spose it’s okay”
“This trip is a real treat for me, I’ve read about all these places and I finally get to see some of them”

We started walking over to the keep. The sound of exuberant teenagers could be heard inside as we started up the stairway.

“I suppose they’ll learn something” Miss Bell mentioned

 

The two of us made our way around the roofless building, I tried to imagine how it would have appeared five hundred years ago but the lack of floors made it difficult. I spotted the girls outside.

“Hey there’s Drew”
“Come on Drew, Mad’s taking our picture!”

We’d finished inside anyway so Miss Bell joined me outside.

“Oh Miss Bell, could you take one of all of us?”
“Sure Britney”

We arranged ourselves on the steps and Miss Bell ended up taking six pictures on different cameras. The last one was taken by another visitor for us; Miss Bell squeezed in the middle!

After hitting the gift shop and rescuing our lunch from the buses we settled down to eat. Rhod, Dan and I settled back against a tree and watched the world go by before doing a bit of eye resting.

“GO GO AUGUSTA GO!”
“What’s that row?” I asked the world in general
“Hey Drew, wake up”
“It’s the girls Drew” Dan mentioned

I sat up to see what was going on. A few metres away the girls were stood watching Britney.

“See it’s easy” she told them
“I feel daft” Bernie mumbled

We watched as Brit and her mates started again, my girlfriends tried to imitate the moves and to be truthful it was quite comical!

“Today Norfolk, tomorrow the Super Bowl” Rhod opined
“If you’re so clever, you have a go” Ally suggested
“I don’t know what you’re laughing at either Drew Bond?” Mad added
“Me? Nothing!”

Britney got the look again

“I reckon the guys should do it too” she suggested
“Ot oh!” Dan stated
“Oh come on guys, humour me?”
“Scaredy cats!” Amy mentioned
“Alright, but just this once” I allowed, pride, as they say, cometh before the fall!

 

So that’s how us three lads ended up trying to follow what Brit called ‘a simple routine’. Simple my foot! We cavorted around for about ten minutes before I realised that we had an audience.

Miss Bell applauded our efforts.

“Well done boys, I can’t wait to see you in uniform!” she joked
“I think they’ll look cute,” Darla added
“Well, we have to get going now, don’t forget anything”
“Right behind you” Britney told her teacher

 

“That was fun Drew” Mad mentioned taking my arm
“Maybe for you, I’ll stick to riding a bike thanks”
“Aww, come on Drew you know you enjoyed it”
“I did not!” Mad went quiet, “what?”
“Oh nothing”

We clambered back into the bus and soon we were headed towards Thetford and the Brecklands, the big sandy heath and forest that make up the western edge of Norfolk.

 

“You guys should start a cheer squad” Brit suggested
“There’s only three of us” Ally mentioned
“I bet we could soon recruit a few more” Mad pointed out, “after all aren’t cheerleaders supposed to be boy magnets?”
“Kinda” Darla allowed
“What’d be the point, there’s nothing to cheer, we don’t have American Football and the school doesn’t compete at basketball”
“Swim team? Soccer? And there’s always Drew” Brit replied
“Never thought of that” Mad agreed
“You need a name” Sab stated
“Meden Morons!” Rhod suggested, Ally was too quick for him this time catching him good and proper around the lughole.
“Warsop Wally’s” was my contribution; I was quick enough to avoid Mad’s swipe though.
“I know, how about something with Robin Hood” Ally put forward
“Maid Marion’s something?” Bernie offered
“Sounds a bit X-rated” Mad pointed out
“Sherwood Forest wave and jumpers” I joked
“Hey you might have something there Drew”
“I was only kidding!”
“What about Sherwood Forester’s?” Mad enquired
“That’s pretty good” Brit agreed, “Sherwood Foresters, yeah I like it!”
“We’ve got a name but we can’t cheer and there’s only three of us!” Bern pointed out.
“Well seven for the next few weeks, we can teach you some routines and stuff, I know Sab’s already been showing Mad some stuff.” Brit announced

 

The bus lurched to one side, bringing our attention back to our current surroundings. The roadway we were following took us towards a large hut in the middle of a large swathe of heathland. There didn’t appear to be anything here, a few lumps beyond the hut and what looked like a sort of conservatory fifty metres away.

“What are we doing here Miss Bell?” Amy asked
“Well I’m not sure what we are supposed to see but its called Grimes Graves”
“A cemetery?” Sab asked
“No it’s a lot of flint mines”
“Oh! That’s a pity” Bernie mentioned
“Come on kids, off the bus” Mr Wood called over.

Well Dad would have been right at home here! Inside the hut was a small exhibition with models and stuff showing what the ‘Graves’ really are like below ground. Then there were some cabinets showing how the bits of flint were made into tools like arrowheads and knives and scrapers. According to one of the boards, the name is supposed to be from some local giant called Grim and this was supposed to be where he buried his victims!

“Right then everyone” Mr Wood started, “if you can go outside and walk over to the little glass shed, yes Juliette you can come back to the shop afterwards.” He must be a mind reader!

We trotted out and reassembled at the glass shed.

“Come on in” the young woman inside encouraged

Once inside, we could see that there were hard hats hung on the only solid wall but the main feature was a ladder descending through a hole in the floor.

“Who’s first?” she asked
“Come on Mad!” I dragged her forward
“Okay young lady,” she plonked a hat on my head, I didn’t realise they were so heavy! ”There’s forty rungs, just step onto the top and take your time, don’t look down” fortunately I don’t think anyone else heard.

Now it came to it I was nervous but I tried to cover it with a “going down!” comment. It was a bit scary, after the first few steps I was into the dark; there was a faint glow from below but not enough to really see by. Ten, another thirty to go! Then as my eyes adjusted the walls opened out and I risked a quick glance down into some sort of cave. I could hear and feel through the ladder what I guessed was Mad starting down above me. I finished the descent with a sigh of relief and stood to wait for the others.

It took about ten minutes, but everyone who was coming assembled in the space. I say everyone who was coming, Amy and one of the older girls wimped and stayed on the surface! The curator girl joined us and for twenty minutes she told us all about how it was dug out and showed us some of the antlers used for digging and what we all thought was an obscene little naked statue of the Donii or Earth Mother, gross!

 

The climb back up was much easier; you can see the circle of light at the top, which is kind of reassuring.

“That was pretty cool” Brit mentioned as she followed me outside
“Yeah, Dad should have come”
“Come on you two, shopping!” Ally mentioned

What is it with girls? I mean the shop here has a few books and postcards! I’ll never understand them.

 

Back onto the buses and we headed for our last stop of the day in Thetford.

“That curator back in the mine, she thought you were a girl” Brit whispered in my ear.

Bum!

“Did she?”
“You know she did, I heard her call you ‘miss’!”

Double bum!

“She did? I didn’t notice”
“That’s always happening” Mad turned round and put her two pen’ath in.
“Maa-ad!”
“Well it does”
“What does?” Sabrina asked. This was getting out of hand.
“Mad was just saying that Drew is always being ‘mistaken’ for a girl”

Where’s that hole? I’m not sure but it seems like Mad was deliberately trying to embarrass me, I thought we’d got a ‘no Gaby’ agreement. I just let the conversation go on round me; things have been going so okay and ‘Gaby’ free.

 

Only our arrival at the ‘Brecklands Museum’ ended the discussion about mistaken identity, which fortunately had moved onto Britney being mistaken for Debbie.

This last stop was a typical small museum and we all shuffled around the exhibits of local life. You’d be hard pressed to spend more than half an hour in there so the visit for us was pretty quick. Mr Wood managed to get us all together on the pavement.

“It’s four o’clock now, we need to leave here at five so we are going to trust you to behave and set you loose on Thetford. We shall only have a quick toilet stop on the way back so you might want to get a snack for later. Back at the buses for five.”
“Cool!” Darla stated
“Come on, the town centre’s this way” Ally started off up the street.

So we spent best part of an hour doing the grockle bit around Thetford’s flint faced streets and shops (again!) I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice enough place but the highlight for me was a couple of minutes checking out the kit in the window of ‘Breckland Bikes’. We descended on a small supermarket that supplied some pop, crisps and sandwiches.

Back on the bus, we started the journey home and the conversation returned to the formation of the ‘Sherwood Foresters’. Dan and Rhod joined me in several hands of pontoon to pass the time and avoid the conversation. We soon joined the A14 and then it was a fast road nearly all the way home. As promised, we had a toilet stop at Colsterworth on the A1 before continuing up to Newark and the last bit of cross-country back home.

 

Dad was waiting with Mrs Rose when we pulled back into the school just before seven thirty.

“Good day?”
“Excellent Mr B” Deb told him
“You would have enjoyed it Dad” I mentioned
“Do Mad and her friend need a lift?” Dad asked
“You two want a lift” I called over
“You haven’t got room have you?” Mad queried
“I’m sure you can all squeeze in for a couple of minutes” Dad advised

It’s a good job it’s a fairly big car! Jules got to sit up front with Dad, Deb sat on one side, Sab sat in the middle with Britney wedged on the floor and I got the seat behind Dad with Mad on my sat on my knees. Sheesh she’s heavy! We dropped them off at Peter’s Acres but instead of heading home, Dad drove back into town to the Indian.

“I don’t know about you lot, but I didn’t fancy cooking at this time.”
 

Maddy Bell 14.03.04

 

 
We got out of the car, waited for Dad to lock up then walked along to the splendiferous establishment that is ‘The Star of Bengal’ restaurant! Looking through the window, it looked pretty full but Dad led us inside where we waited but moments before one of the waiters came over.

“Hi Chandi, can you fit us in?” Dad asked
“I think so Mr Bond, wait a moment please?”

Chandi disappeared and I felt a nudge in my ribs, turning Brit whispered by my ear.

“What is this place?”
“What do you mean? It’s an Indian restaurant of course”
“When your Dad said we were going Indian, I thought like Native American?”

Before I could go on Chandi came back.

“Please to follow me Mr Bond”

We followed him to a table near the rear of the restaurant where his brother Ran was waiting to help seat us.

“Would you like drinks?” Chandi asked as he handed out menus
“Just water for me, kids?”
“Coke please” Jules requested and the rest of us agreed on that choice.

I knew what Dad would have and was pretty sure of my choice.

“Er Drew what is all this stuff, chicken jal, jalfrezzy, pompadous?”
“Well it’s curries and stuff”

Dad must have overheard.

“You two are okay with this aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Deb replied, “it’s just at home you don’t get like this choice. It’s either chicken or beef, hot or mild. There’s a place in Augusta that’s supposed to do this stuff but we’ve never been.”
“In that case,” Dad was warming to his task, “I think you need the works! That okay with you two?” he asked Jules and me.
“Sure” Jules replied non-committaly
“I guess so”

Chandi chose that moment to arrive with the drinks.

“Are you ready to order, ladies, sir?”
“The girls here have never sampled your fine wares Chandi so I think we’ll have the set meal for five.” Dad advised
“Bhaji’s or samosa?”
“Can we have half and half?”

He scribbled on his pad

“Er can I have a peshwari please” I mentioned
“So we have set meal for five, mixed starters and one peshwari naan”
“Best make that two” Dad told him
“Two peshwari.” Chandi then trotted off to the kitchen.

 
“This place is amazing” Brit stated looking around.

Well I guess if you’ve never been to an Indian restaurant before it might seem a bit out there! The whole place is a bit OTT. The walls are covered in murals of Indian life, the Taj Mahal, all that sort of stuff with loads of pot plants (no not ‘pot’ plants!), lanterns an’ that with a backing track of bangra playing over the total. I’ve been a few times before but I think Mum and Dad come here pretty regular, when Mum’s home of course.

You don’t need me to tell you too much about the meal, well okay a bit then! We got those big crispy popadoms with the pickles while we waited for the starters proper, the look on Deb's face when she got a mouthful of lime pickle! Then we shared the onion bhaji’s and Samosa’s, so far so good!

Then the fun! Chandi and Ran brought out the dish warmers and started to fill the table with dishes, plain and pilau rice, chicken jalfrezi, beef madras, lamb korma, chicken tikka masala, vegetable curry and naan bread, oh and of course me and Dad’s peshwari naan’s. Phew! Everyone had a bit of everything, mild, hot, sweet, sharp and by the time we finished everyone was pretty stuffed! I never seem to get as far as a dessert, one day!

 
“Everything alright Mr Bond?”
“Yes thanks”
“All the young ladies enjoy?”
“Great thanks” Deb offered
“Yeah that thing with the coconut, um-um!” Brit mentioned

Dad paid the bill and we spilled back outside into a warm but dark Warsop evening.

 
Saturday. I got my training ride in before breakfast and was showered and into my jeans before the girls were even out of bed! Another one of those warm but overcast days was on the cards according to the telly but for now at least the sky is almost clear.

“Urgh, I shouldn’t have eaten so much” Brit complained
“That’ll teach you sis” Deb had surprisingly little compassion for her sister!
“You won’t be wanting breakfast then?” I mentioned
“Just juice for me” Brit requested

I got her juice and we both went out back to sit in the sun for a bit.

“Twice yesterday”
“Twice?”
“Yeah twice people thought you were a girl”
“I’ll give you that time at the ‘Graves’ but where was the other one?”
“In the restaurant?”
“Did not!”
“That Chan guy, he did. When we were leaving he asked how, what did he say now, oh yeah, ‘the young ladies enjoy’. No mention of young man”
“You’re dreaming!”
“Am not, neither’s Deb”
“Well so what if he did? Like Mad said, it’s not exactly a rare occurrence”
“All the guys I know back home would go ape shit”
“Well I’m not ‘all the guys’ am I”

She shook her head.

“So you guys have Saturday chores?”
“Huh?”
“You know like jobs you have to do to get your allowance?”
“Oh right, no, not really.”
“So if we weren’t here, you’d just hang with the guys?”
“Well unless I’m racing.” I checked my watch, “bum, Mad‘ll be here soon!”

 
I don’t want to talk about the rest of the day! Two words cheer leader! Mad has gone cheering crazy.

“Come on Drew, you did it yesterday”
“That was yesterday”
“Yeah but no ones gonna see you round here”
“No but…”
“So you can join in!” she enthused
“I guess so”

So against my better judgement I spent most of the day with Sab, Brit and Mad making an arse of myself! I suppose I did sort of enjoy myself, I did keep getting an armful of Mad when turned the wrong way or tripped over her own feet!

“I’m bushed” Mad exclaimed
“I never said it was easy” Brit advised
“Well I think Drew should be in the squad” Sab dropped into the conversation.
“No way!”
“I agree, it would even the numbers too” Brit stated
“There is absolutely no way I’m being in your stupid cheerleading team! Get Jules or Deb or someone.”
“But we want you” Sab whined
“And you know most of the moves already” Mad mentioned
“I’ve got to clean my bike for tomorrow”
“Spoilsport!” Mad pouted

 
Dad had got Sunday planned to the nth degree! First my race at Harrogate showground then in the afternoon a walk before coming home again. Jules managed to wheedle herself and Debbie out of the trip, but Mad and Sab had ‘volunteered’ to come instead.

With a couple of hours drive north and a ten o’clock race start, Dad insisted on a six thirty start, urgh! We picked the girls up and we headed out to the A1 along the almost traffic free lanes.

“Hey they’ve got numbers on” Sabrina exclaimed as a couple of cyclists flashed across the Five Lane Ends island in front of us.
“The North Mid’s hundred” Dad mentioned
“You mean like a hundred miles?” Brit asked
“Yep, I think they’ve done about fifty miles when they get here”

We passed one or two more as we headed towards the motorway at Blythe

“That would take me forever!” Mad informed us
“Well five hours would be ‘evens’” I advised
“What’s ‘evens’?” Sab asked

By this time we were on the motorway and Dad had us up to 70.

“Twenty miles an hour.” I explained, “for ten miles like Tuesday it takes half an hour at evens so Mad’s twenty-nine is nearer to twenty one miles an hour.”
“You mean those guys back there are riding for like five hours?” Brit enquired
Dad chuckled, “no, Britney, most of them will only be going for about four and a half, the fast ones less than four.”
“That’s like twenty five an hour?” she gasped
“I can’t imagine riding that far, that quick.” I put in
“Your mother often does” Dad mentioned
“Yeah but it’s different in a bunch”
“Well she did four twenty something for a hundred before she had you”

 
We made good time on the quiet motorway and seven thirty found us at Ferrybridge. Dad pressed on and the three girls dropped off, the early start finally taking its toll on the threesome. Dad eased the speed; we were making good time. Past the York turn off then around Wetherby before we reached the A59 Harrogate turn, the morning haze lifting a little to reveal the rolling Vale of York around us.

The girls started to stir with the change in engine tone and one particularly bad pothole shook them fully awake.

“We there?” Brit yawned
“About another twenty minutes” Dad advised
“Twenty minutes?” Sab asked
“Till we get there” I told her
“Oh” she turned back to snuggle against the door.

 
We got caught at all three sets of lights in Knaresborough before crossing the Nidd and climbing into Harrogate. Mad spotted the sign for the Great Yorkshire Showground and five minutes later we were following a concrete roadway around the site. We weren’t the only car heading in, there were a couple in front loaded with several bikes each and at the top of the hill, the car park was already host to maybe a couple of dozen more and it was not much past eight thirty!

Perhaps I should tell you why we’d just driven nearly a hundred miles this early on a Sunday morning. Today’s event is the Yorkshire Open Circuit Race Championship incorporating the North of England Schoolboy/girl Championships. There are similar events on for the Southeast, Southwest, Central and Northwest regions. The best riders today then get to fight out the National title in a fortnight, this year that’s on the Eastway circuit in north London. So instead of maybe a total of thirty under sixteen’s riding, today some age bands would have more than that as riders were coming from Newcastle in the north, all of Yorkshire, Lincolnshire and a few borderline cases like me from Notts and Derby’s. We could have ridden the Midlands event but in truth I preferred my chances up here! And anyway my club is registered with Lincs Division.

Dad got my bike ready and then we all walked along to the race control. Dad and the girls went into the exhibition hall, which for today was transformed into changing and officials areas. I joined the queue for the bike check and shivered in the cool breeze as I waited my turn. I didn’t recognise any of the other riders, that’s good, they won’t know my tactics!

I watched as each bike was given the once over, tyre check, saddle, brakes, bars then the gears and finally the backwards roll to check the gear size. Most of the bikes passed with no comment, everyone does their own check first, and failure to get a pass will mean no ride! There was a big lad a couple in front of me, from his accent he was from Newcastle direction and his bike failed the gear check, he’d taken a gamble and failed.

“But it passed last week man!”
“Well it’s over the limit lad, get it sorted then come see me again”
“Oh man, queue again like?”
“No come straight down, I’ll only need to do your gears again”

He rushed off muttering under his breath.

What if mine fails? Even the wrong tyres could put you over the gear limit! Then it was my turn, the checker ran through the list, tyres, saddle, brakes, bars, quick release then a run through the gears. Everything was perfect. Last hurdle the gear check, he lined my crank up and wheeled along the chalked line, it’s gonna be close, but as he stopped at the line, my crank stopped exactly on the line.

“By ‘eck lass, you couldn’t get much closer than that!” he announced, “here you go, you’ll need this to sign on and good luck lass”

Grrr! One day!

 
I parked my bike in the designated area and went inside where Dad and the girls were waiting.

“Pass okay?”
“It was right on the line, one lad went over in front of me”
“Well you’d best get signed on then, we’ll get a drink while you get sorted out, girls?”
“I’ll stay with Drew” Mad advised
“Okay, we’ll be in the cafeteria along at the end.”

Another line to join!

 
I got to the front of the queue.

“Race?” the woman behind the table asked
“Under thirteen’s”
“Licence and bike ticket please lass?” she requested, I passed them over. “Here you go” she passed a clipboard over which I took and signed against my name, number thirty-one.
“Number thirty one” she checked through a pile of numbers and gave it to me, “good luck lass”

Ooooh!

“It’s a good job Brit and Sab aren’t here” Mad pointed out
“Yeah, that’s twice this morning, the bloke doing the bikes called me lass as well!”
“Come on let’s get you ready”

 
It was nine fifteen when we found the others in the canteen place watching a big screen that occupied one wall.

“Hey Drew this is pretty cool, the circuit goes right past and they’ll be showing it live in here too” Brit enthused
“You ready son?” Dad asked
“I hope so”
“Remember what your Mum’s told you. Now be careful out there, its fairly narrow and there’s a bit of damp still down at the bottom in particular.”
“Good luck Drew” Sab gave me a smacker on one cheek then Brit matched that on the other.
“Do it for me Drew” Mad told me then planted one direct on my lips much to my surprise.
“Er right” I managed when she let go
“Come on you two” Dad broke the moment, “good ride Drew, we’ll see you out there.”

 
With cleats clacking on the concrete floor I headed outside, strapped my helmet on, rescued my bike and headed towards the warm up holding area. Mine wasn’t the first race; the first event started at nine for the combined 11’s and 12’s, half an hour plus a lap. For the little uns that meant about eleven or twelve of the one-kilometre laps around the showground roadways. My event is forty minutes plus one so at evens that’d be maybe sixteen laps, if the pace was a bit higher it could go to twenty or so!

I joined the circling riders just riding around to keep warm then after what seemed an age one of the officials came over.

“Under thirteen’s. You’ve got ten minutes on the circuit, stop when you’re told”

With that he opened the barrier and for the first time I got a look at the circuit. I took the first lap round nice and steady, checking out the corners and stuff. All around me the other riders were racing around, including I was not pleased to see, the big Geordie. The girls gave a cheer when I passed their chosen viewpoint; I waved back then got myself into race mode. The circuit was not unlike Sheffield except it was flatter and a fair bit narrower!

I checked out the other riders, forty-three in total and according to the start card, eleven of those were girls. So I could ignore them, they could all finish in front of me; it’s the boys that concern me! Apart from ‘Oz’, he sounds just like, Jimmy Nail, there were maybe another dozen who looked a bit useful and seemed to know what they were doing. By their strips, three were from Scarborough and the others from York and Leeds. My usual sparring partners from My Lincoln races are all in the next race! I got in three laps before a marshal stopped us and race time was upon us.

We lined up across the roadway and listened to the commissar’s instructions, the usual stuff about lapped riders except that the girls would be allowed to finish as they're having their own race within the race. I thought back to when we saw Mum race in Germany for that championship; did she feel nervous like this? I guess she did but she looked so calm! I straightened myself up and looked down the line, they all looked as nervy as I felt but I did feel more confident by that small token.

Then we were off, a quarter lap neutralised to get settled and clipped in, then, at what I decided to call ‘cheer’ corner, the flag went down and we were off! The lads from Scarborough took off and by the bottom corner a distinct pecking order was in place. We bunched a bit on the long drag back up to the main straight but the pattern was already set. I moved myself up amongst the front runners, I noticed ‘Oz’ was doing a similar job, he nodded to me as we climbed for a second time behind the enthusiastic Yorkshiremen.

 
We did about six laps in similar style by which time the bunch was whittled down to about twenty, most of the girls were gone and apart from what I considered the ‘A’ squad the other lads looked all in just staying where they were.

“You must be Bond” it was Geordie ‘Oz’
“That’s me”
“I’m Josh Waugh”
“Hiya” I replied between pants
“You fancy having a go at this lot of pansies?”

I hoped they hadn’t heard his comment, at least we were currently sat at the back of the lead group.

“What do you have in mind”
“Well like I was watching your Ma on the telly and she pulled a real smart move on that mountain stage.”
“This is hardly a mountain” I pointed out as we crossed the line again.
“Well my Uncle Joe, he was dead impressed said I should try it today but I figured as you were here we could do a double attack thing”
“Okay I’m game, when?” we hurtled around the bottom corner, there was a bang and crash behind us, a quick glance saw bikes and bodies collecting against the straw bales! Phewee!

“Two laps time. You’re only a squib so if you go they will probably let you have some space, I’ll try to hold them up as well, then next lap I’ll do the same, I’ll get up to you then we can go all out for the finish.”
“Fair enough” I resented being called a squib but hey! If the cap fits!

 
It was actually lap twelve after twenty-five minutes when Josh and I nodded to each other and I forgot to brake down the hill that propelled me to the front with Joe hard behind me. I kept the gear rolling as we started to climb; I could hear frantic gear changes as the rest realised that something was afoot. Josh dropped back letting me get clear, I heard him tell the others that I was a no hoper and to give me a bit of rope, I’d soon be back. I took a quick glance as I crossed the line and true to his word the big northerner was sat at the front keeping the hounds at bay.

“Go Drew go!”
“Go on son”
“Up, up, up!”

I tucked myself into a little bullet as I swept down the hill with about twenty metre's lead. The back markers were coming back towards me with some regularity and with a clear road I could pick a better line around the bottom corner and dug in on the climb. Another backward glance at the top confirmed that Josh was making his effort in front of a seemingly uninterested bunch. Odd!

I didn’t dare ease off as I started yet another lap with ten minutes of race time left. Josh however was up to the job, two laps after my escape he joined me and we had about fifty metres of open road between us and a now more interested bunch.

“How did you get away so easy?” I puffed
“Told em I was fetching ya back like”

I shook my head and we started the tough job of consolidating our lead. On the downhill Josh tucked behind me and the up hill leg I let him drag us up.

 
“Ten seconds” Dad shouted when we next passed cheer corner, the girls shouting themselves hoarse. There were a few more people about now and we were getting a lot of support around the circuit.

At about two and a half minutes a lap we had a maximum of three laps left, a little over two miles! We didn’t make any more impression next lap, in fact Dad shouted ‘nine seconds!’ as we passed. Then I saw our saviours fifty metres in front, a bunch of about ten back markers.

“Let’s get in front of that lot, the bunch won’t be able to see us then”
“That’s a canny idea!”

They were still twenty metres away at the bottom bend but we both sprinted hard on the uphill and overtook the surprised and disappointed bunch. We eased off letting the back markers come back to us. Josh risked a look back.

“They seem to be confused”
“Excellent!” we did quick high, well low, five and concentrated on the rest of the climb. As we approached the line I could see an official ready to ring the one to go bell. I grabbed Josh and he looked around surprised.
“Let this lot past, they can finish then, we’ll go round them down the hill.”

He smiled and shook his head as I waved our saviours past.

“DING, DING, DING, DING!”

We crossed the line about a length behind them then as soon as was safe we both sprinted back past them to a chorus of ‘thanks! Cheers, go guys!’ I’m not sure where Dad was getting his time checks but this time we got “twenty two lads, dig in.”

 
The girls were heading towards the finish only stopping briefly to cheer us as we headed down hill for the last time. Only a complete catastrophe could muck us up now! We made the bottom curve and Josh moved in front to make the final climb, we were about half way up when there was an explosion in front of me.

“Shit man!” well that was the gist of what he said as we started to slow, “go on, we don’t want to waste all this effort”
“Don’t be daft, come on” I pulled along side and started pushing his bike by the saddle. He got the idea and with his back wheel banging along on the flat we made the top of the hill with the backmarkers closing fast and the Yorkshire Yakuza snapping at their heels. Everything seemed to go in slow motion then.

The two hundred flag came and went and a big guy started running along beside us shouting encouragement. I turned to check behind us, we could still make it!

“Come on Josh!” I shouted releasing his saddle and starting to wind up the pace again. I sensed more than saw Josh doing the same despite the flat.

The screaming and excited cheering filled my head as my attention was taken by the chequered flag.

“Drewbie! Drewbie!”
“Go Josh, go!”

Fifty metres! Mum said never look back, I didn’t need to, I could hear the fast approaching bunch behind.

Out of the saddle, the bike took on a mind of it’s own as I punched the pedals, breathing out of the window and a red haze starting to form. Josh was still there but failing fast.

Twenty-five metres. I was into tunnel vision now. I could just make out Mad’s hysterical “Nooo!” and then I was over the line! And freewheeling. I hung my head and started recovering some oxygen as a sea of riders swept me up and I had to concentrate on what I was doing again.

 
Half an hour later I was watching that same sprint finish in the cafeteria still in a state of shock. The girls were sat around me and Dad was stood with Joe Waugh and his nephew Josh. The cameras missed the blow out but picked us up as I pushed Josh up the last rise onto the flat. Josh did glance back; his uncle chided him as we watched things develop. I took off out of the saddle with Josh fighting his bike immediately behind. The bunch had now spotted us and became animated as we both took the straightest possible route to the line.

In the last fifty metres I started really pulling away from Josh as he seemed to zoom backwards towards the bunch. Someone at the front of the bunch realised that all of a sudden Josh was going to be in the way and started to ease very slightly. It was just enough to allow the now desperate Josh to get his wheel across the line just millimetres in front of one of the Scarborough lads before he finally lost the bike as the rear wheel skipped about, depositing him in an impressive series of somersaults onto the grass. (He got a few scrapes and bruises but that was all! Mind you his bike suffered a bit more!)

Meanwhile I’d crossed the line ten metres clear to take the North of England under 13 championship!

 
I snapped back to reality as the girls hugged me again.

“I have to say Dave, in all my years of racing I’ve never seen anyone do that!” Joe Waugh was telling Dad, “I’ve ridden against the pro’s, all the big races and I’ve never seen anyone do something so unselfish. In fact you’d say the lad was daft but he still won!” he shook his head.

Then he came over to me.

“Drew lad, I thought youse was a girl at the start, but you’ve proved beyond doubt today that you’re more man than most of so called stars. I think you’ve made a friend for life with young Josh here”
“He’d have beaten me in a straight sprint”
“That he might, but seeing that sprint of yours he would have been pushed”

I blushed as he shook my hand. Josh came over and after a quick “thanks Drew” threw his arms around me and gave me a bone-crushing hug.

“You’re a good un Drew Bond, I won’t forget this” he gripped his medal so recently received.
“Come on Josh, let’s get you back home ta Geordie land!” Joe grinned, “bye Dave, girls, bye Drew”
“Bye Joe” Dad replied as our new friends left.
“Come on you lot, I think we’ve had enough excitement today.”

Yeah and now they all know I’m a boy, male! Not Gaby but Drew.

When we went to collect my bike I was stunned. Just about everyone stopped and clapped with a few “way to go”, “nice ride young un” and so on’s thrown in, talk about embarrassed! The girls just kept hugging me and I ended up in the back with Mad and Brit, Sabrina took my usual front seat.

 
“Okay then” Dad started, “is our prodigy still up to a walk this afternoon?”
“I guess so”

Dad eased us out of the car park, nearly everyone waved or tooted, it was a relief to get clear and head back to the main road.

“Okay then we’ll grab a quick bite, a short walk then we’ll head back okay”
“Sounds fine Mr B” Brit replied.

We navigated around the impressive heaths and gardens of Harrogate before picking up the Skipton road onto the moors. A half-hour later we turned up the hill to the Cow and Calf rocks and our immediate destination Ilkley Moor. The car park was almost full; loads of people were up here to enjoy the views and just being out in the countryside!

“I thought we were eating first?” I queried
“We are, the snack bar does the finest bacon sarnies this side of our kitchen!”

Mad stifled a giggle.

“Bacon sarnie girls?”
“Sounds good to me” Sab agreed
“Sure” Brit mentioned
“I know you two will” he addressed Mad and me.
“Thanks Unc”

This time I started to snort at Dad’s expression.

Ten minutes later we were sat devouring what I have to agree were pretty fine examples of bacon in a breadcake followed by some lovely traditional stodgy fruitcake! Heaven!

Afterwards we changed our footwear to boots; Sab borrowed Jules as she takes just a half size smaller. Then Dad led us off up the path in search of what he called ‘treasure’, some really impressive rock art, or so he claims. After a ten-minute walk, Dad led us up onto an outcrop looking over Ilkley town. He wasn’t wrong; all the main surfaces were covered in carvings, cups, rings, lines and all manner of other stuff.

 

We all took pictures before Dad took us further up onto the moor where we ended up just sat on the rocks overlooking Wharfedale. Dad started humming and smiling I joined him. Mad picked up on what we were at and started singing in her bright tones.

“Where has tha bin since I saw thee?”

Dad and I joined in.

“On Il-kley Moo-oor baa tat”
“Where has tha bin since I saw thee? where has tha bin since I saw thee?”
“On Ilkley Moor baa tat, on Ilkley Moor baa tat, on Ilkley Moor baa tat”

We were all grinning like loons! The ‘choir’ managed another two verses before we all collapsed in hysterics, Dad included!

“Come on you lot, let’s get back.” Dad suggested

We made our way back to the car park and I reclaimed my front seat! Dad took us on over the moor and eventually down into the Aire valley and Leeds where we picked up the motorway. Once clear of Leeds we picked up the M1 and we made excellent time.

“There’s Meadowhall” Mad mentioned as we joined the Tinsley Viaduct.
“Where we went shopping?”
“That’s the one, and that’s Sheffield proper over there” I pointed vaguely up the Don Valley.

From Meadowhall it’s only a couple of junctions to the A57 to Worksop, Dad’s preferred route home. Instead of dropping Mad and Sab off we went straight back to Chez Bond.

 
Maddy Bell 17.03.04

 

 
“Inside and get yourself changed into something descent” Dad instructed
“What for?”
“Because I said so”

Well when you put it that way! I scurried upstairs figuring Dad was taking us out to celebrate; well I’m not one to look a gift horse! By the time I’d washed up and found some reasonably smart clothes I had been upstairs for thirty-five minutes.

“About time!” Dad exclaimed. Brit had got changed too, Dad had changed his trousers and they were all waiting for me. “You’re worse than your sister!”

Mad started giggling at that.

“Come on, we’re already late”
“For what?”
“We just are, now get a move on!”

I wasn’t really taking any notice of where we were headed only realising we were at the Peters place when Dad pulled onto the drive.

“I thought we were going to eat?”
“We are, you and Britney wait here, I need to see your Aunt”

I shook my head as Dad followed Mad and Sab into the house.

“Dunno what’s up with Dad, he say anything to you?” I asked Brit
“Ut uh!”
“I could just eat a lovely roast dinner. Mmmm, lamb I think with mint sauce and Yorkshire pud”

Without warning Brit grabbed my head and planted one on my cheek.

“What’s that for? Not that I’m complaining!”
“I just thought you deserved it”
“Can I get some warning if you decide to do it again?”
“Sure”

Dad came back out and sat in.

“Are the girls coming?”
“Yeah they won’t be long” he replied and then turned on the radio, it was Radio One playing and the chart show was on. We sat listening to this weeks hits for about ten minutes before Dad broke the mood.
“Drew, do you want to go see how much longer they’re gonna be?”
“Sure” I got out and walked over to the door and knocked
“Who is it?” Aunt C called
“Just Drew.
“Hang on a mo, the girls are almost ready”

I turned to the car and shrugged to Dad.

I heard someone at the fiddling at the door then it opened.

“SURPRISE!”

Well I’m not kidding it was! In the next couple of minutes I discovered that my sister and Debs, Rhod, Dan, Sylv and the Peters had somehow put together a surprise party to celebrate my win! I nearly lost it altogether when they sang ‘for he’s a jolly good fellow’! No roast dinner but instead one of Mrs P’s famous buffets. Apparently they tried to get the rest of the gang over but Ally was at her Gran’s and Bernie’s phone was just ringing.

If I could remember what happened I’d tell you! My supporters club was telling everyone else repeatedly about the race and more specifically the finish. It seems like it all happened to someone else! I don’t remember the medal ceremony although I’ve got the medal and I know we did the photo thing with Josh grinning from ear to ear.

When someone thrust the phone into my hand I really wasn’t with it!

“Drew? Are you there It’s your Mum”
“Mum?”
“Well done son, I knew you’d got it in you, all the girls send congratulations”
“Tell them thanks” I finally got a grip.
“Oh and Kat said to give you a kiss!”
“Mu-um!” I complained
“From what I hear, you were quite the hero too?”
“Who told you?”
“Your Dad, he rang earlier to tell me”
“Have you been riding today?”
“Yes, but only a local thing up near Bonn”
“Well?” it’s like getting blood from a stone!
“Second, Tina got the win. So you’ve got a place in the Nationals then?”
“Yep, they’re the week after I come to the show, at Eastway”
“Look, I’m gonna have to go Drew, I’m on Maria’s phone.” She explained, “say hi to your sister for me and I’ll call tomorrow for a longer chat okay? Bye Drew”
“Bye Mum”

 

We finally got home just before midnight and I was absolutely bushed!

 

“You getting up?” Jules asked poking her head around the door to Chez Drew.
“Yeah, what’s the rush?”
“The rush is its eight thirty and we’ve got to be at school at quarter past nine!”

Bum! I shot out of bed and did the ablutions bit in double quick time. Then the next panic! Clean clothes!

“Jules, where’re my clean jeans?” I requested, in maybe a slightly frustrated and panicked manner!
“There’s a pile of stuff on top of the laundry box, try there”

I spotted the pile in question and indeedy there was denim there! The first garment I pulled out was one of Jules denim skirts but underneath was a pair of jeans. I pulled a tee on then sat on the bed to get my jeans on, ramming my feet into my trainers while I pulled them up.

“There you are, Brit and Deb have gone on to tell the others we’ll be a bit late”
“Breakfast?” I queried
“There’s some tea in the pot, but hurry up, it’s ten to nine!”

Jules rushed around collecting stuff, it’s the Armouries in Leeds today, and at least we should be able to get something to eat there! I chucked the tea down my throat and toast in hand advised my readiness for departure!

“Ready Jules!”
“‘Bout time”

We were half way to Mad’s when Jules made a discovery that is bound to affect the rest of the day.

“I thought there was something odd about you today”
“Oh thanks” I replied sarcastically
“Won’t tell you then if you’re gonna be like that”
“Go on then, what’s odd?”
“Well,” she smirked, “you’ve got a pair of my jeans on!”
“Have not!” I checked them out, damn, blast and other curses! She was right!
“Didn’t you notice anything odd when you put them on?”
“I was in a rush”
“But they’re hipsters Drew, you must have noticed something”
“I just thought they were a bit baggy, what am I going to do now?”
“There’s no time to go back and change, you’ll have to go as you are, no one’ll notice”
“I ‘spose”

Hang on hipsters? Damn, damn and double damn! All of Jules low-riders have got embroidery on the pockets; there is just no way I’ll get away with it. Ah well, there’re the others.

“Sorry we were so long, sleepy insisted on breakfast” Jules greeted them
“We’ve got ten minutes, we can just make it” Mad advised, “morning Drew”
“Morning everyone, sorry about sleeping over”
“Well I guess you earnt a lay in after yesterday” Brit allowed
“Cute jeans Drew” Sab mentioned
“Er yeah, they’re Jules,…”
“He pulled the wrong pair out of the washing” Jules told them.
“You mean they’re girls jeans?” Deb enquired
“Well duh! If they’re mine” Jules pointed out
“Well it’s just like they fit him really well?”
“I reckon they fit better than his own” Brit opined

Why me!

 

“Last again!” Mr Wood mentioned as we arrived at the minibuses.
“Sorry sir,” Jules started to explain, “Drew had a bit of a day yesterday and he slept through the alarm”
“Ah yes, my spies told me about your win, congratulations”
“Thanks sir” I mumbled
“Now you’re here, you’d best get on board” he urged us.

We bundled ourselves onto the appropriate vehicles and we were barely strapped in before Reg set off! We followed the other bus out through Creswell and Clowne to join the M1 at Barlborough. Mad and Brit were retelling the events of yesterday again by the time we joined the heavy northbound traffic.

“Did you bring your medal?” Rhod asked
“Yeah,” I advised producing the little plastic presentation case.
“That’s pretty cool” Dan stated as he passed it over to Ally.
“Where were you two yesterday?” Mad asked Bernie
“Mum took us to Stoke, then we stopped at Ashbourne on the way back”
“You missed a great party” Rhod told her
“Knowing Speedy Gonzalez here, we won’t have to wait long for another one!” Ally mentioned.

The drive up to Leeds only took a little over an hour so we were inside the Armouries just after ten thirty. Mr Wood had pre arranged a guided tour starting at ten forty five so we ‘wasted’ ten minutes in the shop while we waited. In case you’re wondering, this place is the northern outpost of the National Arms and Armour collection, which is based at the Tower of London. (At least that’s what it said on the board outside!)

You’d think it would be a pretty dry, boring trip round, cabinets of guns and armour and stuff but it was really pretty good. We saw two demonstrations; the first one was two fellas in full Japanese armour doing a mock sword fight. I couldn’t believe it was so noisy, all that clanging of the swords on the armour and stuff!

The second one was a sort of reconstruction of the morning of Agincourt and the English archers’ preparations. At least now we all know what the whole two-finger salute thing is all about! No wonder the French really take offence! Afterwards they let us try to pull the long bows. No chance at two metres long they were taller than me by a long way and I couldn’t move the string at all. The guys doing the demo thing did really easy, they must have arms like Mums legs!

After going round inside we went to the tilting yard outside where we caught another demonstration, this time of jousting. It was pretty exciting and I know someone who won’t be taking it up! It was one fifteen when we finished the tour and everyone made a beeline for the cafeteria. The Adults were deep in conversation all the time we were eating the horrendously expensive sandwiches that we had for lunch.

“Kid’s, can you all come round please” Mr Wood requested, we eventually congregated in front of where he stood with Mr Fredericks and Miss Bell.
“Quiet!” Mr Fredericks mentioned quite loudly. This finally quieted the noisier elements. “Thank you. Now listen to what Mr Wood has to say” he finished
“Thank you Mr Fredericks. As you might recall, we were planning on spending the afternoon at the Sculpture Park, but an opportunity has arisen which we felt we would put to you and let you make the decision.” He does go on a bit! “Miss Bell has obtained passes to get you into the Leeds Festival site for the afternoon”
“Cool!”
“Wow!”
“Brill!”
“What’s that?”
“Calm down” Mr Wood went on, “do I take it that you’d like to postpone the sculptures?”

There was universal agreement, even though a good number hadn’t a clue what the Leeds Festival was!

 

So it was that I found myself in a field just outside Leeds jigging to Ash! The festival is the local variation of Glastonbury, three days of music, camping, terrible food, even worse toilets but really good fun! Today was the last day but it was just as busy as the weekend, students, families, well you get the picture.

The set finished and I found myself being dragged through the crowd by Mad and Brit much to Sabrina’s amusement.

“Come on Drew, lets check some of the stalls out” Mad enthused
“Alright but slow down”

The whole place was manic! We gave as good as we got in the crowds but we managed to check out most of the stalls to the sounds of some DJ guy, we could hear the crowd getting into the set but none of us are really into that. Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m all for a bit of fun but when the girls decided on face painting I was really not with them. In the end of course there was no escape, but I put my foot down, no way was I getting a full facial!

 

I suppose the daisies were just as bad but I didn’t feel as daft as Mad looked sporting whiskers and black 'n' orange stripes! Brit had opted for a butterfly and Sab’s dark skin was masked by a Panda face, weird. The girls started on a rack of t-shirts and spotting a makeshift bench plonked my bum down. We were sort of behind one of the stages and you could hear pretty well. There was a terrific roar and the tones of Dido’s ‘Here With Me’ made their way back, well cool! I closed my eyes and leant back to listen to the set in my temporary haven. ‘All You Want’, ‘Slide’, ‘I’m No Angel’ then ‘Take my Hand’, I was really getting into it.

“Hey Drew!”
“Eh?”
“See you’re getting into it now” Mad mentioned over ‘Isobel’
“Dido “ I stated
“No, getting your hair braided” Brit stated
“Oh Kewl!” Sabrina joined in

Then I realised what had been annoying me, a slight tugging on my head.

“What the?” I leaped up
“Hey I’ve not finished!” another voice mentioned
“Let her finish it Dee” Mad instructed
“Yeah, sit back down kiddo” Brit caught me
“But?…”
“Let the girl finish, looks like you’re nearly done anyway” Mad repeated
“I do not want braids!”
“Why’d you sit on my pitch then?” the girl asked
“What do you mean, I just sat on the bench for a minute”
“That’s my pitch” the girl was starting to sound a bit peeved, the prospect of having wasted fifteen minutes for nothing dawning on her.
“How much?” Brit asked
“Five?” the girl tried
“Tell you what, finish Dee here off and do me a wrap, I’ll give you six”
“Well,” she was weighing the offer up, “okay then”
“Sit Drew” Brit put a hand on each shoulder and sat me down!

By this time Mad and Sab were killing themselves and I barely heard the end of Dido’s set.

“There you go” Mad held the mirror up

Am I cursed or something? Looking back from the glass was a cute girl with short multicoloured braids and hippie flowers painted on her face. Sheesh!

“They suit you Dee” Sab told me

She got a hard stare back. Brit got her wrap and we re-joined the throng, me feeling really self conscious as my braids bounced on my bare neck. A lot of the crowd was heading towards the main stage and we sort of got carried along.

“Stop!”
“Thief!”

There was a commotion in front of us as someone pushed his or her way towards us.

“Watch it!”
“Hey!”
“Stop him!”

The cause of all the commotion then burst out in front of us and roughly pushed Mad out of the way. I’m not sure what came over me but I grabbed at him as he drew level with me swinging him about.

“Ger orf kid!” he flailed his arms and almost got free but I held on. In desperation he grabbed my shirt and used it to pull me off balance, which had the effect of making me release my grip to regain my footing. There was a loud ripping noise as my tee took the strain; my assailant gaining a few moments of freedom before about three blokes jumped on him. It was over in maybe twenty seconds

“Well done kid!”
“Lot o’ spunk for a girl!”
“You alright miss?”
“Er just my shirt”

Mad and the girls dragged me out of the crush, the police were already cuffing the thief by the time I got sat down.

“Wow Drew, you’re really into this hero thing aren’t you” Sab suggested
“You could have got hurt” Mad stated
“I just saw red when he shoved you and grabbed him”
“What if he’d had a knife or something” Britney was in more shock than me
“Well he didn’t”
“The fella over there said one of you girls stopped him?” the voice came from behind us.
“Dee officer” Mad pointed at me.
“Well done lass,” he started to address me, “we’ve been after him all weekend, the little runt’s a bit quick on his toes. Can we get a statement from you?” there goes the afternoon, dang! He must’ve spotted my expression, “before you leave will do, the police caravan’s by the main gate. I just need to take your name and address for now okay?”

Looking like this no, but I hardly had any choice in the matter!

“Thanks Drew, girls. We’ll see you later, have fun the rest of the day.”
“Your t-shirts ripped Drew” Mad inspected the damage
“You can’t walk round in that” Sab stated
“What do you suggest, go topless”
“I’ve got a spare top” wonder Walters mentioned diving into her bag.
“I can’t wear that!”
“Why not? It’s only a top” Brit pointed out

I rolled my eyes.

“Come on guy’s I just saw the ‘Chilli Peppers on the big screen” Sab mentioned

Well how many times do you get that sort of opportunity? The CP’s live, cool! I pulled my t off and Brit’s top on and we headed towards the main stage.

 

Finally an advantage to being small! The four of us virtually burrowed through the crowd as the band played ‘Californication’ and emerged at the barriers as the crowd erupted at the end of the song. ‘Road Trippin’’ was next in the set and we joined in with everyone else. This is truly amazing, they moved on to ‘This Velvet Glove’ and Mad shouted in my ear

“WAVE”

I joined the rest as they waved at what turned out to be a slowly panning TV camera, so that’s what the rails were for! The Chilli’s were really going for it, I’d forgotten what I looked like, the thief and all that, I was just rockin’! A few more tracks later and the set ended with ‘Around The World’ which everyone sang along to. The band left the stage but returned for an encore of ‘Right on Time’, this time when they left, that really was the end.

“Anyone fancy a hotdog,” Brit asked
“Sure”
“What time is it?” Sab asked
“Erm, just after four”
“That’s alright, we don’t need to head back for ages yet” Sab stated
“Six o’clock right?” Brit queried as we joined the queue at one of the food vans.
“Yeah but I’ve got to do that statement thing”
“That shouldn’t take long, it was all over in seconds” Mad pointed out
“Best get to the Police van thing for half five though” I stated
“Enjoying yourselves girls?” it was Miss Bell
“Hi Miss, yeah we’ve just seen the Red Hot Chilli Pepper’s “ Brit enthused
“Not really my thing I’m afraid”
“What do you like?” Sab asked

Somehow she’d avoided identifying me and I tried to stand behind the others out of sight.

“Something a bit slower, I’m off to the lav’s then Sheryl Crow’s doing a set”
“Who?” Mad asked
“Ma-ad! You must’ve heard of her” Sab stated
“Doesn’t ring any bells”
“Well I reckon we should go” Brit suggested
“Might see you over there then” Miss Bell turned to go, “oh and nice top Drew”

I started to splutter as the others burst into laughter.

“I’m doomed”
“Don’t worry, Miss B’s cool” Sab mentioned

We got our Dogs and found a steward who directed us to a huge marquee where the Crow set was due to start in a few minutes. We got there to find the door’s already shut.

“Damn, she’s pretty cool” Brit pouted
“We’ll still be able to hear out here won’t we” Mad pointed out
“Yeah but it’s not the same”
“Hey girls!”
“Us?” Sab addressed the Steward that we’d seen earlier
“You wanted to see Sheryl Crow didn’t you?”
“Yeah but it’s full already” Brit indicated the closed entrance
“Come on, I’ll get you in”

We looked at each other, shrugged and followed him. He took us under a barrier and we were in a sort of backstage area, it was a lot calmer and quieter round here.

“In here girls, I want to catch this set myself” he said losing his Stewards jacket and stowing it behind a box. We ducked under the flap and found ourselves quite near the stage. “Have fun!” our saviour told us with a wink before he disappeared into the crowd.

 

In front of the stage a lot of people were sat on the grass, I spotted Miss Bell on the other side; she copped us at that moment and waved us over. Because of the enclosed space there were only maybe five hundred people in the tent so it was fairly easy to make our way across and join Miss Bell on the grass.

“Miss Sheryl Crow!” the MC announced, I’m sure it was Craig David!

The crowd erupted as she came out onto the stage, she looked well cool, embroidered jeans, a neat tie front top and of course her acoustic guitar! She started with an ‘oldie’

‘Old James Dean Monroe
Hands out flowers at the Shop-N-Go
Hopes for money but all he gets is fear…’

“That Sheryl Crow!” Mad whispered in my ear
“Shush!” Brit put her finger to her lips.

Miz Crow did a few older tracks including ‘My Favorite Mistake’ before she launched into “some tracks from my new album”. So we got ‘C’mon C’mon’ followed by ‘Abilene’, ‘Hole in My Pocket’ and ‘Weather Channel’. We were boogying along on the floor quite happily. The only downside was the annoying cameraman who kept getting in the way, I think he was even starting to annoy Sheryl because she kept giving him dirty looks. It was confirmed when after ‘Weather Channel’, she stopped for a moment.

“Hey mister! You with the camera” he pointed to himself in a ‘who me?’ manner. “Yeah you. If you’re gonna film keep out of the way huh! Them young girls are trying to see me” the crowd chuckled as one, camera man slunk off to the side which brought cat calls and applause and I’m not sure about the others but I turned bright red!

“You see alright now girls?” Miz Crow asked
“Great thanks” Brit replied
“You American?”
“Yes Ma’am, we’re on an exchange trip” this conversation was doing nothing for my embarrassment as the whole tent was straining to see who she was talking to!
“Nice to see you here in Leeds, now we’ve got rid of the camera geek lets play some more.” She started picking at the chords, “this one is for my young friends down here, its called ‘Lucky Kid’ and she started to sing

‘I want to take you down to the river,
I want to wash the blood from your hands,
I want to make you see,
You belong to me…’

The crowd went wild at the end, she did another couple of tracks before ending the set with another ‘oldie’, ‘Oh Marie’. Well it was inevitable there would be an encore, the crowd kept whistling and cheering for a good couple of minutes before Miz Crow returned to the stage. First we got a moving rendition of ‘Sweet Rosalyn’ then the grand finale was an enthusiastic and crowd assisted ‘Steve McQueen’.

“That was brill” Mad enthused
“I got to talk to her” Brit pointed out
“We’d better head towards the entrance, it’s nearly ten to six” Miss Bell mentioned
“Damn, I’ve got to go to the Police”
“Police?” She asked with some little alarm
“It’s alright Miz Bell, she’s not in trouble, in fact just the opposite.” Sab started, “earlier Dee here stopped a purse snatcher.”
“This true Drew?”
“Yeah, that’s how I ended up wearing this” I indicated Brit’s top which now I come to think was similar to Sheryl’s!
“Anyway, he’s got to make a statement, we said we’d do it before we leave."
“Come on then, we don’t want to be too late do we?” Miss B suggested.

Well it’s just as well she was with us, turns out the Policeman thought I was about eighteen! I don’t know where he got that idea? But anyway Miss Bell sorted it all out and I gave my statement. Luckily I had my phone in my pocket so we were able to alert the rest, via Rhod that we would be a few minutes late. What a day!

“Hey neat look Ga - Drew!” Ally mentioned
“You won’t believe me!”

Rhod shook his head

“It always happens to you Drew, what was it this time, aliens?” Bernie suggested

The drive back down the motorway went by in a blur as I, well we explained how I came to look like 1001 other ‘girls’ at the festival. They were dead impressed with the Sheryl Crow thing and laughed their socks off over the hair. Damn I’d forgotten about how I looked.

 

Mr P was doing taxi duty tonight, Deb and Jules were going straight to Charlie’s and Brit and me are eating at Peters Towers.

“Gaby?”
“No it’s Drew Dad” Mad emphasised
“Oh sorry Drew,” he caught on quick thankfully, “you look just like your cousin dressed like that”

The Americans gave each other a look that said something like ‘we will find out!’

At the Peters place I was finally able to divest myself of Brit’s top and Mad undid the braids. Borrowing one of Mad’s plain T’s and a quick wash I was finally looking like myself again when we sat down for dinner. Mr P dropped Brit and me off at home a bit before nine thirty, we had barely got inside when the phone rang, Mum!

“Hiya kiddo”
“Hi Mum”
“Now then tell me all about it”

So I spent twenty minutes giving her a blow by blow account of Sunday’s race. Then of course I told her about Leeds and the Police. She wasn’t too happy about that but I think I calmed her down, in fact when I told her about the Police thinking I was an eighteen year old girl she was in hysterics at the German end of the line.

Jules got back in about that point so I passed Mum over to her.

 

Well there’s one thing for sure; these holidays are anything but boring! As I lay in bed later on there was a noise in the hallway.

“Come in Brit”

She came through the door and slipped it shut behind her, I sat up and turned the bedside light back on.

“How’d you know it was me?”
“Let’s just say a shrewd guess. What’s up?”
“A, erm, well”
“You’re still not sure about me are you?”
She crinkled her nose; “well my head keeps saying boy but my eyes say girl. Look I’m not dumb,”
“I never said you were!”
“Let me finish, I’m not dumb and I do see things. Like the way people react to you? Mad and the others, even Mad’s olds, they just like took no real notice how you looked earlier? They’ve all seen you dressed like a girl before and not just in some costume right?”

Well it had to happen I suppose.

“Okay Brit, best make yourself comfortable” I advised patting the bed.

An hour later I had ‘leaked’ more than I really wanted to but she seemed satisfied by my tale.

“So Mad keeps making excuses to get you dressed up like a girl?”
“Well not a lot but I’m sure she could have come up with some different costumes for Obicon.”
Brit let rip with a yawn. “I’d best get to bed”
“Yeah, night Brit”
“Night Gaby” I ignored that, I hadn’t admitted to that yet! Yeah what a day!

 

Maddy Bell 20.03.04

 

 
I woke up to the sun streaming into the little box room through a chink in the curtains. What a day yesterday! I lay going over the highlights in my mind, the Chilli Peppers set and then the Sheryl Crow session, I found myself humming ‘James Dean’ as I watched the sunlight slowly track across the wall. Tuesday, Tuesday! Cool, the Tuxford ten! Dad’s gonna take us, that’s Mad, Brit, Sab and me, I’m really looking forward to it as it’s supposed to be a fast course.

But there’s a whole day before then! I roused myself and by the looks of the bathroom, I was the first up, well except for Dad. By the time I’d showered and dressed the girls were up and at it, Jules being the first to join me at the breakfast table.

“So what you up to today half-pint?”

I bristled at that and she’s only like an inch taller herself!

“Dunno really, I suppose we could make a start on operation Sonia”
“You sure we can get away it?”
“Who’s she gonna tell? It’s not like we’ll be doing it ourselves”
“No I guess not”
“The others still up for it?”
“What do you think? Anna’s Mum went ballistic and you know we can count on Charlie.”
“Okay then, I’ll ring Mad, she said she’d help”
“Ooh sweet revenge”
“Revenge?” Brit queried coming into the kitchen.
“Erm” I hedged, we couldn’t get the visitors involved after all.
“Oh come on guys, spill” Britney pursued
“Well I guess we can tell you” Jules mentioned
“Tell us what?” Debs joined us
“Okay, but no one else” I allowed
“Stop being so mysterious” Brit stated

“Well maybe revenge is a bit strong, it’s more like getting even. You’ve both met Sonia right? Well…” and Jules went on to tell the Walters the whole sorry tale, well whole except for my involvement, thanks Jules.
“She sounds like a right bitch to me” Debs intoned
“I wondered why Anna had such a bizarre haircut,” Britney agreed
“So what have you guys got planned?” Deb queried
“Go on Drew, it was your idea” Jules prodded
“Well it’s sort of self punishment. All the girls…” I went on to explain the plot to the Americans.
“Ooh, count us in” Brit enthused
“So Drew, how come you’re involved?”
“Gaby” Jules splurted
“Er yeah, Gaby told me and I said I’d help” I blustered

I have to say that it was a dastardly plan, I’m not usually vindictive, in fact just the opposite but Sonia has got it coming! Deb and Jules headed into town to pick up a few supplies while the rest of us started the serious planning. Kirsty and Karen were still unknown quantities so we assumed they were ‘hostiles’.

 

By lunchtime the plan just needed a bit of fine tuning

“It’s a pity your cousin won’t be here to see the fun” Brit opined as Jules went to make the calls to set everything up.
“I don’t she’ll mind too much, after all she’ll get to see the pictures”
“I just hope this doesn’t backfire” Jules mentioned rejoining us
“No-ones gonna force her to do anything are they?”
“I guess not. Anyway it’s all set for tomorrow, we’re meeting at Charlie’s at ten”
“Too bad we’re gonna miss it huh Drew” Brit intoned
“I’m sure Jules will give us all the gory details right Jules?” Mad suggested
“Yeah, I just wish we could take more direct action” my sister lamented
“You’d be in deep shit if you did” Deb pointed out
“Yeah well. I suppose this is pretty devious”

The six of us didn’t do much of anything for the rest of the afternoon; I caught Britney giving Mad some strange looks though. About four Mad and Sabrina headed back to the Peters and the Walters Bond posse prepared an early tea. Dad arrived home just before five and at twenty past the three of us departed to pick up the rest of our little team using the camper.

Mad was a bit quiet, not her usual garrulous self anyway, nerves I guess. For some reason I was a bit nervy too as Dad headed us out past Ollerton onto the Tuxford road. It was barely six when we turned up the road signposted ‘A1, The South’.

“We’re well early Dad”
“I thought you’d like to have a run round the course first, I’m not sure exactly where it goes myself. John was a bit vague when I spoke to him the other day.”

Instead of following the second A1 sign, Dad kept straight on until we reached the entrance to a trading estate.

“This is where we’re supposed to park” he swung our ponderous transport around in the wide entrance and headed back up the bit of hill.
“Look for a stripe on the kerb Drew” he slowed right down.
“There!”
“It should have ‘ten’ next to it” Dad advised pulling to a halt
“10 Start it says”

Dad set the trip meter and we set off taking the sharp left onto the A1 slip road. I got my race head on and Dad pointed things out for a still quiet Maddy. The traffic was brisk but mostly going at a fair clip.

“Five miles” Dad mentioned, “the turn must be the next slip road”
“Shorter back like Cuckney only on a dual carriageway”
“No it uses the old road going back”
“Huh?”
“The old A1” Dad confirmed as we pulled into the slip and up the ramp.

Left at the top then another left onto the old road, which was wide, but I could tell even in the van, quite bumpy. The road had wide sweeping bends and a couple of short climbs, I couldn’t believe it when Dad said,

“One to go!”

Most of that last mile was dead straight and Dad slowed down to a stop at the ten-mile point.

“What do you think? Maddy you okay, you’re a bit quiet?”
“I’m not sure about riding actually” Mad replied
“Oh Mad you’ve got to!” I told her
“No she hasn’t” Dad stated, what’s up lass?”
“It’s the A1 bit, it’s like a motorway and all that traffic”
“John assures me that by the time you get on there most of that will be gone, in fact he reckons it’s quieter than Cuckney.”
“Really?” Mad was looking to be convinced.
“Really. How about you get ready and if it’s still busy when it’s time to start you can pull out”

Dad you cunning crook! We drove on and by the time we got to the ‘HQ’ there were several other cars there including John’s. Britney and Sab went for a walk while we finished getting ready.

John poked his head in the camper door. “Ah our little champion, congratulations young lady”

“Er thanks”
“Nationals now then, you’ll be down as favourite,” he told us
“Me? Why?”
“Well for the last six years the winner of the North East heat has gone on to take the National title.”
“Nothing like a bit of pressure eh D?” Mad chuckled, I just groaned
“I’ve put Miss Peters number nine and you Gaby are number thirteen”
“Unlucky!” a slightly happier Mad mentioned. Me I don’t go in for all that superstition stuff so the so-called bogey number didn’t bother me.
“You two know the way?” John asked
“Yes thanks, Mr Bond drove us round” Mad replied
“Just be careful on the corners okay girls, don’t want any accidents do we. I’ll leave you to it, start’s in thirty minutes, seven fifteen.”

With that he was gone.

“You two going for a warm up?” Dad enquired a moment later as the little compressor died.
“Sure, come on Mad”

 

I think Mad had already decided to race so the fact that we could see hardly any traffic on the main road as we returned up the hill to the start only clinched it. Dad and the Americans were waiting on the footpath opposite.

“We’ve got your numbers!” Sab called over

We crossed over and the two American girls did the number pinning honours.

“Number one!” John called out across the road
“Remember what you’ve been told both of you” Dad stated as I checked Mad’s helmet straps.
“Yes Dad”
“Maddy?”
“Yes Uncle Dave”

Dad blushed at that, Mad had never called him that before!

 

I watched as Maddy settled, ready to start then she was off! I timed her to the first corner, twenty seconds, much the same as everyone else. Dad and the girls were up at the corner and I saw them cheer my girlfriend on.

Then it was my turn.

“Watch the turn Lass, do what the marshal says okay?” John instructed
“Uh huh” I readied myself as the pusher held me up.
“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go!”

I launched myself away from the line and hit the first corner surprisingly quickly. The supporters club cheered as I slung the bike well over to make the corner then I was off down the slip. I got myself onto the main road as soon as was practical, glancing up the road I could see number 12 and away in the distance 11. Well that was a guide anyway. There certainly was much less traffic now, mostly rep mobiles haring homeward. The concrete surface was almost hypnotic as with great regularity my tyres hissed for a few revs then ‘clunk’, hissssssss, ‘clunk’ hissssssss, ‘clunk’.

I was still in the little sprocket as I crested the first climb; wow nearly twenty-eight miles an hour! My minuteman was starting to come back towards me and on the long straights I could see eleven as well. My legs were going like a blender on the downhill’s and I was holding twenty five on the ups, well until the last A1 climb where it did drop to twenty by the top.

Then there it was, the exit slip and number twelve not halfway up! I changed down for the left turn, the marshal indicating it was clear to go. As I dropped to the second corner, the marshal was waving to slow me, a car sped across the junction and with a glance I was waved through. Up out of the saddle I attempted to get back into my rhythm.

The surface was actually fairly good just not very flat! I caught number twelve as we climbed over a railway bridge then as I made the next brow I caught my first glimpse of Mad! My computer was showing nineteen thirty, maybe two miles to go? I was nearly shaken out of my skin when a dog started barking loudly as I passed but a quick glance showed a six-foot fence between it and me. Phew!

Down through the last few bends and there was both number eleven and number nine in front, if Maddy was on another twenty-eight, I’d struggle to get a twenty-four at this rate! Someone had thoughtfully put up a ‘one mile to go’ board, I just kept thrashing the pedals round. Into the last straight and way in the distance I could just see the finish.

“Dig in youngster!” a voice gasped next to me.

I nearly jumped out of my skin as number fifteen swept past. The big guy powered away from me despite my best attempts to up my pace then with a red haze starting to descend there was the chequered flag.

“Come on Drew!”
“Sprint!”
“Thur’een!” I gasped freewheeling, too spent even to keep my legs going. I hit the stop button on my timepiece. Nah can’t be right, 24.13, I didn’t even catch Maddy. Well until now that is, she was laid flat on her back wheezing like a good ‘un! I pulled to a halt a slumped over my bars.

“You guys okay?” Sab called out from behind me
“Er think so” I pointed at Mad and shook my head

 

Five minutes later and on Dads instruction we were both pedalling slowly back towards Tuxford. I took another swig out of the bottle Dad had given me and passed it to Mad.

“Some course huh?”
“Different, the dog get you?” she took a gulp of liquid
“Yeah” I accepted the bottle back and slipped it into the cage, “enjoyed it though, it was so fast on the way out”
“I think I was catching number eight but I lost sight at the turn thingy”

We rode up under the railway just as a GNER express shot overhead heading north, and then we were back at the camper.

I helped Dad put the bikes onto the rack while Mad got changed; Brit and Sab were busy checking out the older male riders!

“You got a change of kit Drew? That skinsuit is caked in salt,” Dad pointed out
“Er no, didn’t think”
“You never do!”
“You can borrow this” Mad offered from the door
“Not a dress or skirt is it?”
“No, course not”
“Hmm okay then” I agreed stepping up into the caravanette.

How do I manage it? No, not a skirt or dress, oh no! Far worse, a romper suit! Well okay not strictly a romper suit; Mad called it a playsuit. It might as well have been a skirt; it looked like one but with separate legs, barely but attached to a sleeveless top. The whole thing buttoned down the front and an elasticated waist gave it a bit of shape. All in cream cotton with little rosebuds all over it. I even had to borrow a pair of pants as the garments wide legs wouldn’t contain my equipment at all.

“You never learn do you” Dad mentioned when I emerged
“No Dad” I agreed colouring up
“Drew?” Sab asked
“Yeah it’s me”
“He forgot to bring a change of kit” Mad advised the smirking Americans
“Suits you!” Brit told us, “cute in fact”
“There you are girls” John was back, “well done both of you, I said it was a fast course”
“What have they done John?” Dad asked
“Miss Peters here has done, lets see,” he checked his board, “27.28 and this young lady” he patted my shoulder, “has managed 23.45! Excellent rides”
“Can I see?” I enquired as the girls started gigging about.
“Sure” John passed me the board and Dad looked over my shoulder as John went on, “fourteen PB’s tonight!”

I moved my finger down the list, five managed 22.01, six and seven both finished with long 23’s, and Maddy did beat number eight but only by two seconds. Ten did 21.23, eleven got 23.51, twelve 25.03, then me with 23.45, fifteen took me for an extra ten seconds with 22.35 then there was only one more rider quicker than me with 22.59! Kewl! I handed John the board back.

“Must go, see you next week, there’s only two more Tuesdays.” And he was gone
“You kids ready for home?” Dad asked
“Sure” Brit supplied
“I guess so” I pulled the crotch of the romper into a more comfortable position much to Brit and Mad’s delight.
“Anyone for chips?” Dad enquired as we passed under the A1 up into Tuxford proper.
“Please!” Mad replied, “I want to celebrate”

We pulled up in the little town square.

“There you are Drew, chips and a cake for me” Dad passed over a tenner
“Daaad!”
“I’ll come with you!” Brit mentioned

Humiliated? You bet. There I am in a flipping romper suit queuing in a chip shop miles from home.

 

“Nice legs!”
“Gis a kiss gorgeous!”
“Nice arse Blondie”

Yep, the local wasters!

“Get off me!” Brit pushed one of the oiks away.
“Hey that ones some sort of foreign”

The pestering continued while we waited and was gradually escalating to physical contact. I was ready to make a run for it.

“Leave the girls alone lads,” an older chap who was waiting in the queue suggested
“If you say so Grandad” and they continued on, no respect this lot. It seemed no one else would stand up to them.
“Come on Brit lets leave it”
“No way!” Brit turned to our would be assailants, ”as you little worms haven’t got a brain between you, the adults round here have let you play for a bit. Keep it up and you’ll wish you hadn’t”
“Yeah? And what are ya going to do eh girly?” the apparent leader pushed his face right up to Brits.
“You asked for it”
“Ooof!” the youth collapsed to the ground clutching his jewels.
“Why you bitch!” one of his lieutenants started to pull back a fist.
“That’s enough Boyle!” a meaty hand appeared and grabbed the balled hand. ”Pick turnip head up and get out of here” the three lads beat a hasty retreat, obviously the owner of the hand did garner some respect.

Our rescuer turned out to be a big bloke of about twenty.

“Sorry about that ladies, Derek thinks he’s God’s gift, he’ll be in for it when I tell our Mum”
“He’s your brother?” Brit asked obviously intrigued by the big guy.
“Half brother, him and his mates are always getting in trouble with the Old Bill”

We shuffled along and I placed our order.

“Usual Josh?”
“Thanks Jim, oh and Marcus asked if you could put extra chilli on his”

I collected our bag of fried taters and tugged Brits elbow

“Well thanks again er?”
“Josh. No sweat, if you’re around here just pop in to the Fire Station and ask for Officer Nash, that’s me.”
”You’re a fireman?”
“Most of the time” he chuckled
“Brit!”
“Coming, well bye Josh Nash” Brit was acting real weird.
“So what was all that about?” I asked once we were outside
“Nothing. But he was cute huh?”
“Enormous!”
“A fireman too. Huuuh!” she sighed.

 

We sat in the camper to eat our chips and of course all Britney could do was recount the chippy incident and go on about Josh bloody Nash! Mind you at least it took the interest away from me and how I’m dressed!

 

“Thanks Mr Bond” Sab called as she and Mad waved us off forty minutes later
“See you in the morning” Mad added
“Night” Brit and I chorused
“Night girls” Dad added

 

Knock, knock!

“Who is it?”
“Just me” I was expecting this but how do I proceed, admit or deny?
“Come in Brit”

She settled herself cross-legged on the end of the bed.

“I don’t believe there is a Gaby” nothing like getting straight to the point!

Deny!

“Of course there is!”
“Well prove it then! I think that you’re Gaby,” she stated
“I’ll admit that I’ve ended up in girls clothes a couple of times but I’m not Gaby! Ask Mad, she’s her cousin too”
“I already did”
“And?”
“She said the same thing”
“There you go then”

Brit looked at me strangely, like she was sizing something up.

“Look, when we go to the Peters tomorrow, we can get Mad to get some photo’s out okay?”
“Hmmm, okay” well it was obvious she wasn’t convinced but she levitated from the bed and with a “g’night Drew” she left.

 

“Bip bip bup bip” I hit the speed dial and Mad’s phone rang.
“What’sup Drew? I was just dropping off”
“Sorry Mad, you’ve got some pictures of Gaby right?”
“You know I have, why?”
“Britney, she needs convincing I’m not Gaby”
“But you are”
“Maad!”
“Okay, I’ll see if I can find some from the school dance”
“School dance?”
“Yes dumbo, I think I’ve got some of Gaby with Clive”
“You didn’t?”
“Not me, Bernie. And we could always get hold of Clive, after all he fancies Gab something chronic!”
“Don’t remind me!”
“Well see you in the morning then”
“Yeah, night Mad”
“Night Drew”

Maddy Bell 24.04.04

 

 

The girls beat me to the upstairs bathroom so I pulled on some shorts and headed downstairs. There was a lot of giggling going on when I got back upstairs; Jules and Deb were getting ready for the great ‘revenge on Sonia’ scam. I got myself dressed and went downstairs for breakfast; I was surprised when Brit joined me soon afterwards.

“Thought you were helping upstairs?”
“I’ve been banished, but they shouldn’t be long, they were just getting dressed”
“I hope she goes for it after all this” I opined between spoonfuls of cereal.
“From what Juliette was saying just now she won’t be able to resist,” Brit giggled

Even though it was my plan, and it was quite evil, I was a bit taken aback by the appearance of my elder sibling and Brit’s sister. Both of them now had bizarre multi coloured hairdos and were dressed and made up sort of Punk-Goth! But the really striking bit was the intricate designs adorning their hands, feet and even their faces! That was the masterstroke, I saw some programme about Indian culture and all the women were getting these designs done, they use some stuff called Henna, its sort of like temporary tattoos. To top it all off Jules apparently sported a nose ring connected by a chain to her ear and both of them had on loads of rings and chains and stuff.

 

“What do you think?” Deb asked shaking her new pink and mauve hairdo.
“Wow!” was as much as I could manage.
“Way to go Sis,” Brit agreed
“Where did you get all that stuff?”
“We raided Mum’s wardrobe for some of it, Debs dress is really a slip and these are Mum’s shoes.” She advised.
“I wish I could see Sonia’s face.”
“I don’t think you’ll be able to miss it after today” Jules pointed out
“Well not for a while anyway” we all joined her chuckles with our own.

Brit took a couple of pictures before we left for the Peters mansion, we’ll have to wait until later to find out what happens!

 

“They look phenomenal!” Brit enthused
“Yeah, just like them girls in the sixth form last year” I agreed
“Cool, so what’re we doing?” Mad enquired
“Well I promised Dad I’d get this sorted out” I lifted a shank of blonde mane.
“You’re getting it cut?”
“Yeah well it’s not been cut for months and it’s a bit of a nuisance when I’m riding”
“We can go and see Rhod and Dan, and I bet Ally’ll be there too!” Mad enthused
“Well I was gonna go to ‘Marco’s’”
“But Sylv always does our hair”
“I s’pose” I reluctantly agreed
“We can practice our cheers later” Sab mentioned
“Ooh yeah!” Mad was like a madwoman this morning!
“Erm what about an appointment? Sylv is usually all booked up”
“Dur it’s Wednesday!”
“What’s Wednesday?” Sab asked the question I was thinking.
“Bingo of course”
“Eh?”
“Boys!” Mad rolled her eyes, “Wednesday all the old dears catch the bus to the bingo so Sylv is usually pretty quiet on Wednesdays.”
“Oh right” well you learn something new every day!
“Er Maddy?” Brit started slightly nervously, “I was wondering, do you have any pictures of your cousin, that is, the mysterious Gaby?”

At least Mad was primed after last nights call!

“Sure, I’ve got loads, hang on a sec I’ll get them”

Brit seemed a little surprised; maybe we could throw her off the trail yet! Mad returned with a scrapbook, I was surprised to see the front decorated with pictures of me, that is Gaby, with various members of the gang.

“Here we go” Mad enthused opening the cover.

Britney and Sabrina positioned themselves so they could see and I sat down opposite Mad.

“Here we are” Mad started pointing to a shot taken on one of Gaby’s first appearances.
“Wow, she’s real pretty” Sab stated
“She could be your twin Drew” Sab snook in
“Well we do get mistaken as sisters sometimes” Mad admitted, “but I don’t think she’s ever been mistaken for you has she Drew!” she chuckled.
“Not as far as I know,” I agreed from across the table

Mad worked her way through the album, I had no idea half of those pictures existed! There was Gaby in school uniform, in Meadowhall, on the bus, down the Rec, well you get the idea, there were a lot!

“How come you’re not in any of these Drew?” Brit was sharp, oh she’s sharp.
“Well who do you think took the pictures?” Mad jumped in
“So you took all these?” Sab asked me
“Well some of them, I’ve not seen some of these though” I sort of prompted Mad
“Ooh you’ll like these” Mad suggested as she scrambled through the pages, “here we are, Bernie took these at the school dance”

I lent over to have a look with the others. There I was, well Gaby, not in just one but several pictures shaking my booty on the dance floor with the gang then a couple dancing with a grinning Clive. I wanted to crawl into a hole!

“We had to pull’em apart” Mad joked
“He’s your cousins boyfriend?” Sab asked
“He wishes!” Mad stated, “Gaby’s not that keen but I reckon Clive's got a king size crush on her, eh Drew?”
“Er yeah, he never stops going on about Gaby this and Gaby that”
“He is kind of cute” Brit allowed
“Oh look at the time” Mad changed the subject
“Eleven?”
“Yeah, come on let’s go over to Sylv’s, Drew can get his haircut and we can hang with the guys” Mad suggested.

 

Half an hour later the bell rang as we piled into Sylv’s salon. Mad was right, the usual crowd of wrinklies was absent, there was just one woman under a drier, I recognised her as the barmaid from The Miners.

“Hi kids, looking for my lot?” Sylv asked
“Yeah and Drew wants a hair cut” Mad replied
“Well you picked the right day Drew, all the old dears go to Bingo today so apart from Angie I’m free till four o’clock, park your bum over there.” She pointed to one of the chairs. “You girls go on through the back, and remind that lad of mine to put the Hoover round”
“Okay Sylv, see you in a bit Drew” Mad gave one of those funny little finger waves before leading the others through into the house.
“So young man, time for a haircut eh?”
“Yeah well it’s getting a bit messy, Mum’ll go ballistic if I go to Germany looking like this.”
“So you want it tidying up then?”
“I guess so” while we talked she was running her hands through my hair, I didn’t take much notice but she played with it for a minute more before going on.
“Let me just check on Ang then we’ll get started”

 

Over the next half an hour I got Sylv’s usual routine, hair washed then she started in with the scissors chatting merrily away all the time.

“Did I see your sister earlier all in black with a girl with pink hair?”
“Sounds like Jules” I allowed
“Well she certainly looked different, not my choice mind”
“I think they’re having a Goth day or something”
“They?”
“Anna, Charlie an’ that. They do some weird things for entertainment,” I observed
“Well I suppose it keeps them out of trouble” Sylv mentioned

I hope so! If I’d been paying attention I would have realised that the scissors weren’t clicking anymore.

“Sit there for a bit while I finish Angie then we’ll finish you off. There’s some magazines on the side there, about fifteen minutes okay?”
“Fine” I’d be in and out of Marco’s in about that time!

I reached over and grabbed a magazine, well it was obviously a women’s mag, I mean it’s a hair salon. Ah well better than nothing. ‘10 Great Diets’, ‘Looking good at forty’, ‘Fifty fashion tips you need to know!’ ‘Hollywood Lives’, well the enclosed delights were never ending, sandwiched between adverts for various potions, lotions, pads, creams and other ‘women’s’ products. I flicked through the pages, checking out the shapely babes and what they were wearing, purely for research of course. I most definitely was not wondering what they would look like on me, Maddy maybe but not me. Honest.

“Okay let’s sort you out” Sylv broke my line of thought
“Cosmo eh? I had you down for Woman’s Realm” she chuckled
“The range was a bit limited” I shot back
“Well let’s rinse this out then you only need drying”

Rinse what out? Ah well, at least she hadn’t got her piercing kit out! Ten minutes later I was just about done. A few more snips and Sylv pronounced herself satisfied.

“Thanks Sylv, how much?”
“Just five Drew but don’t tell everyone eh!” she winked at me.

I really should have looked in the mirror.

 

“Cool look Drew!” Ally mentioned when I went to join the others in the house
“I’ve only had a trim”
“And I’m only five.”
“What are you on about Al?”
“He doesn’t know” Mad exclaimed
“Mum’s done it again” Rhod stated
“Done what?”
“Look in the mirror Drew” Rhod sounded sympathetic.

Puzzled I went over to the mirror.

“What’s wrong with… oh boy, she gets me every time! I wondered what I was waiting for” yep I had fallen for it again, I looked more like a girl than ever with this haircut! More like a Kylie than a Kyle if you know what I mean and I’m sure my hairs light… the ‘conditioner’ wasn’t conditioner was it?

“Hey Drew you coming out.. side?” Brit trailed off as she came inside
“It wasn’t my idea,” I stated
“Everybody okay?” Sylv asked joining us
“Muum, I wish you’d leave my friends alone!” Rhod suggested
“What have I done now?”
“Muum! He looks like a girl!”
“I thought…” she must have spotted Al and Mad’s frantic hand signals at about this point, “er sorry Drew, come here let’s sort you out.”

She produced the tools of her trade, brush and comb, from her overall pocket and in moments flat my hair was teased back into a more masculine style.

“There! Better?”
I checked in the mirror, “yes thanks”
She leant down to whisper in my ear, “I thought you’d like a unisex sort of cut, so you can, you know easier” Then addressing the assembled mass of teenagers, “anyone for ice cream?”

 

Darla, Brit and Sabrina spent the afternoon showing Mad and Ally cheer stuff while Dan and I took turns at trying to beat Rhod at ‘Colin McRae Rally’, with little success! We managed to miss having any lunch but Sylv managed to feed us on some vegetarian gunk for tea, I am never giving up meat. By the look on Rhod’s face I think he wishes he hadn’t either, come to think of it I don’t know why he did, it’s not like Sylv is a veggie!

 

When Brit and I got home, the others were already there.

“Well?” Brit asked her now back to normal sister.
“It was so cool!” Deb admitted
“Spill!” I encouraged
“Well, it worked, it’ll hit the fan tomorrow!” Jules told us
“Oh come on Jules, all of it”
“Okay, okay! Well Charlie had her hair all sort of spiked up and Anna had a sort of braid so you could see the shaved bit”
“Yeah like she looked well cool,” Deb added
“Well anyway, Son and the K’s turned up, and to cut a long story short, Son insisted we do the Henna bit for her, I mean she was dead impressed with ours” Jules giggled, “so we didn’t like to argue too much so we did a good job, the others wimped out though”
“Maybe for the best eh?” I pointed out
“Yeah I guess so. Anyway Anna reckoned she ought to try the green dye, after all it washes out”
“It was really cool,” Deb picked up the thread, “we went to Mans Field. Everyone was looking at us and these cool guys hooked up with us and we ended up in this park place”
“Sounds like fun” Brit mentioned
“I thought the idea was to get some revenge,” I pointed out
“Well you’ve not heard it all yet have you?” Jules pointed out
“Go on then”
“Well anyway we were just sort of talking and stuff and like this lad says he like girls with nose rings and stuff which really cheesed Sonia as he was a bit of a hunk and me and Kirsty were getting all the attention”
“Never guess what?” Deb butted in
“Come on tell us” Brit prompted
Jules took the tale up again, “well she dragged Kaz off to the lavs and when they came back she had a ring in her nose, she got Kaz to do it for her.”
“No!” I gasped
“Well she had a right smirk on her face, especially as the lad with the nose fetish gave her a long snog”
“Gross!” I pretended to retch.
“That’s about it really. We caught the bus home and left them about an hour ago.”
“I bet she’s just finding out that Henna doesn’t just wash off” Deb giggled
“How long did you say it lasts Drew?”
“Maybe a few weeks according to that programme but I think they had to leave it on for quite a long time”
“Well it might not be that long then, but it should be pretty cool”
“Sweet revenge!” I declared

You want some explanation? Well duh, of course Jules and co didn’t use Henna, no they used eyebrow pencils! And the hair dye was just sort of brush in and wash out, pretty cool idea huh? And Jules’ nose ring? Well that was dead easy, an earring just sort of pushed in place. I can’t believe Sonia got Kaz to actually pierce hers; her Mum’ll go spastic!

 

“So what have you lot been up to today?” Dad asked
“Not much really Dad”
“I see you finally got a haircut Drew”
“Well you kept on”
“Not sure about the new colour though” he joked

Didn’t I mention that? Well I didn’t just get a Gaby haircut did I? That conditioner was really hair dye, ‘Hint of Peach’ Sylv called it; thankfully it’s not too obvious! Strange day huh?

I decided to get an early night so I headed off about ten leaving Dad and the girls watching telly. I put my stereo on and tuned into my latest passion, John Peel! Well he makes me laugh and he plays some cool music too. As I lay in bed listening to the Peelster I went over another strange day in my head.

I reckon we managed to throw Britney off the Gaby trail this morning, where did Mad get all those pictures, and the album! Note to me; do not let Sylv near my hair again! Sheesh! You’d think I’d learn wouldn’t you? It’s my sister’s birthday tomorrow, it’s gonna be really weird, a birthday without Mum! I feel a bit sad for Jules, she always seems to get the rough end of the stick lately. Mind you, sorting Sonia seems to have cheered her up!

 

Maddy Bell 26.04.04

 

 

So here we are, August the 24th, Jules Birthday. I was really surprised to find Dad still at home when I got back from my early morning training ride.

“Morning Kiddo”
“Hi Dad, you not going to work?”
“Not till later, it is your sisters birthday”
“You never stay home on mine,” I pointed out
“Well there is a bit more to it,” he poked his head into the hall, satisfied he went on in lowered tones, “I’ve got a huge surprise for your sister, she’s going to Milan for a couple of days with your Mum. I’m taking her to the airport this morning”
“Kewl!” I tried to hide to hide my jealousy but I was obviously failing by Dad’s next words.
“Don’t go all moody on me, you’re going to Germany in a couple of weeks.”

What could I say? He was right after all.

“So what have you got her? You did get her something?”

Bum! Present!

“Of course I have, I just forgot to wrap it”
“You’d best do that before she comes down. And get a shower!”
“Yes Dad!”

 

When I returned twenty minutes later, Dad had laid the table and was busy making Jules favourite pancakes. I added my card to the pile by my sister’s place and helped myself to some juice. There was a clatter of feet on the stairs and all three girls fell into the kitchen.

“Happy Birthday Jules, morning girls!” Dad greeted them all.
“Happy Birthday” I echoed
“Sit down, breakfast is nearly ready. Pancakes okay for you girls?” Dad asked the Walters.
“Sure Mr Bond” Debs replied

Juliette was already busy opening cards; presents come after breakfast in our house! The usual cards from Gran and various relations joined offerings from the Walters, Dad, Me and at the bottom of the pile, Mum. Jules picked the envelope with the German stamps up and toyed with it for a few seconds before opening it.

It was clear that there was more than just a card inside.

“What’s your Mum sent?” Dad asked innocently
“There’s some sort of ticket, hang on” she opened the card and read as Dad put a plate of pancakes on the table and joined us.
“Well?” he asked her

Jules expression went from slightly pouty sad to a huge grin in nanoseconds!

“I’m going to see Mum!” she shouted, jigging like a little kid
“Calm down, what does your Mum say?”
Jules picked up the card again, “der, der, der… oh here we are, ‘get your Dad to drive you to the airport, the flight’s at 11.30, I’ll meet you off the plane in Milan’“
“In that case you’d best eat up”

 

As you can imagine after this revelation there was animated conversation between the girls, Jules was about as excited as you’d expect. I think I know what Jules felt like when my trip to Germany was first announced. After breakfast there was a quick present unwrapping session, the Americans gave her a sweatshirt with their school logo on, Gran had sent a skirt over and I presented her with a set of Buffy videos. Then Dad reminded her she’d need to pack at least clean underwear and the girls all scampered to accomplish the task in hand.

“You okay Drew?”
“Yeah I guess”
“Your sister gets back on Sunday so you’re in charge of our visitors till then okay?”
“Okay”

 

Dad was putting Jules case in the boot when she ran back up to the watching stay behinds.

“Ring Anna later, her Mum is friends with Sonia’s so she’s bound to find out what happened”
“Okay, I’ll text you later”
“I’ll be in Italy dopey!”
“So? Oh I suppose your phone might not work”
“I’ll try to ring from wherever we’re staying”
“Come on lass, the plane won’t wait you know”

The girls embraced then Jules skipped to the car and got in. We waved until Dad turned out of site.

“We better get ready” Debs pointed out to her sister.
“Oh yeah, we’re going to Man Chester today”

 

“So what are we gonna do?” Bern asked an hour later
“Worksop?” Ally suggested
“Not shopping,” I complained
“Well what do you suggest then?” Mad queried
“I dunno, we could go up the river”
“How about tennis, we could hire a court for the afternoon” Bern mentioned
“I can’t play to save my self” Maddy told us
“Rhod, any ideas?” Ally enquired
“I need to go and get ready for the weekend”
“Your Dad huh?” I suggested
“Yeah”
“What about badminton, we’ve got a net at home,” Mad advised us
“Okay” Ally shrugged, “suits me”
“You sure you don’t want to come Rhod?” Bernie asked, “ You could get ready later”
“Oh come on Rhod, I’ll help you pack” Ally offered

I could see he was torn.

“Well okay, but just until lunch” he finally agreed

 

We made our way to Mad’s pad where Rhod and I got the job of putting up the badminton net while the girls were doing something inside.

“So what’s the big deal about this weekend, you seem a bit edgy” hark at me!
“Pass me the mallet,” he reached out for the tool in question then went on as I passed it to him, “nothing really, it’s just a drag having to go with Dan staying”
“Couldn’t he go with you?”
“There’s not room at Dad’s, it’s only a pokey little two up two down miners cottage. And anyway I don’t think he’d want to hang around in Dreary Ville South Wales.”
“I suppose not. You finished with that?“ he looped the mallet back to me. “Why have you got to pack today? I chuck everything in and I’m ready in five minutes, anyone would think you’re a girl taking half a wardrobe!”

I’m sure I saw Rhod wince a bit at that.

“Mum insists that everything is folded and ironed, doesn’t want me showing her up I guess.”
“You two finished yet?” Mad asked leading the others back out.
“Er just about” I replied
“Hey not fair!” Rhod declared

I turned to see the girls now all wearing various sports kit, Bernie had swapped jeans for shorts, Mad had her tennis whites on and Ally had borrowed a blue tennis dress.

“You can borrow some if you want” Mad offered with a smirk.
“I think I’ll pass it up thanks” I replied. I swear that Rhod thought about it
“Best not”
“We playing doubles?” Ally asked
“Singles first” Bernie declared, “we can all play each other until Rhod goes then we can play some doubles”
“Okay” I agreed

 

So we started to play our mini league, I sat and waited my turn in the warm morning sun, the strong scent from the honeysuckle helping to relax me. Jules will be waiting to board the plane now, she must be really excited, I know I would be. I wonder how long Mum and Dad have been planning it? Must be ages for Dad to have the day off.

“Drew? You playing or what?” Bern called over
“Eh? Oh right” I snapped back to the here and now and squared up to Ally across the net. Remember the school badminton competition? I must have been possessed that day, well I was playing crap today anyway. Al beat me in straight sets and I returned to my spot in the sun.
“What’s up Drew?” Mad queried
“Nothing, just thinking about Jules trip”
“You’re jealous!” she accused
“Maybe a bit” I admitted
“I wish my olds would do something like that”
“Your Mum doesn’t live in Germany” I pointed out
“No thank god! Oh sorry Drew, I didn’t mean it like it sounded”
“I know”
“It’s just I can’t imagine what it must be like. It’s cool what your Mum does but it must be really hard for you all, your Mum especially”

To be truthful I’d never given much thought to how Mum felt. I mean I know she’s doing what she wanted but I know she misses us, it can’t be a barrel of laughs over there on her own though. Well I suppose there’s the rest of the team but they’ve all got their families and boyfriends and well Mum’s got us five hundred miles away at the end of a phone line. Trust Mad to see the bigger picture.

So far Mad and Bernie were leading our impromptu league, my expected challenge was not materialising! I was up against Rhod next and even ‘can’t hit a thing’ Morgan beat me! I really was playing atrociously!

“Come on Drew, you wuss. I thought you were an ace player” Bernie goaded as I missed another clear shot.
“Nah! You’re thinking of Gaby” Ally stated
“Maybe you should borrow a skirt Drew” Bern suggested
“Leave him alone” Mad instructed, “He’s a bit preoccupied, missing his Mum”
“Sorry Drew, we just joshing” Al noted
“Yeah well” I allowed

With five of us playing we each got to play four times, I only won one match, against Mad which made her the ‘winner’ of the league.

“Is that the right time?” Rhod asked
“Half two” Ally confirmed
“Shoot! I’d best get home, Mum’ll kill me”
“You want me to come?” Ally reiterating her earlier offer.
“No I best go alone, Mum wants me to take more responsibility” Didn’t sound like the Sylv I know!

Ally was clearly a bit upset at this dismissal, I’m not sure that Rhod noticed though.

 

Mrs P brought us out some sandwiches

“Rhod gone?”
“Yeah, he’s got to pack to go to his Dad’s tomorrow” Mad told her
“Ah yes” she relied in that mysterious ‘I understand because I know something you don’t’ way that adults and parents in particular use.

 

After we’d eaten no one felt up to playing again straight away so we sprawled on the lawn with the ribald humour of Mark and Lard reaching us from the kitchen radio. The girls sat chatting and once again I drifted off, Maddy cradling my head in her lap as I relaxed in the afternoon warmth.

I suppose Rhod knows what it’s like, his Dad living in Wales. I wonder what Mr Morgan’s like? And his step mum. It must be really weird that, having two mum’s. I wonder why he never tells us about Wales, he goes every month after all, we only just found out he’s got cousins and stuff. Strange really, Sylv hardly mentions it either which is just so not her! I settled back a bit more comfortably and smiled as I felt Mad stroking my head. This is what summer’s about!

“Come on let’s play a bit more” Bernie broke the moment
“Uh?” I mentioned as I opened my eyes and stretched looking around from my perch.
“Drew? You playing?” Al asked
“Yeah I guess” I sat up and realised something was up. “What’ve you done?” I accused the now giggling girls.
“Nothing” Bernie replied

I felt my head, not again! Braids!

“Oh come on it’s not funny, take them out, please?”
“Oh! They make you look cute Gab” Mad pointed out
“Maa-aad!” I complained
“Gaa-aab!” Al and Bernie chorused
“Oh come on Drew, loosen up!” Mad suggested
“Humph!”
“Are we playing then?” Bernie asked
“I s’pose so” I allowed
“I hope you play better than you did this morning” Mad sighed

It felt weird having braids again, they kept slapping my neck as I moved around our makeshift court but my playing remained pants!

“I know what it is, I think you were right earlier Al, it was Gaby who was the ace at the school, Drew can’t play to save himself” Mad stated
“Hey, I’m here remember”
“I know,” Bernie started, “lets see if Gaby really can play”
“What are you on about?” I queried
“Yeah I know, come on Drew, I’ve got your kit here”

Kit? What is she on about? Mad grabbed my hand and dragged me into the house

“Hi Gaby?” Mrs P mentioned, as I was pulled upstairs
“Er hi Auntie”

It was only when Mad started going through her wardrobe that it dawned on me what was afoot. I started to slide towards the door.

“Gaby Peters! You come back here!”

So okay I’m a wuss!

When I followed Mad back outside it was as Gaby not Drew.

“Hey Gabs, you took your time” Al stated
“She didn’t want to wear the skirt”

I looked meaningfully at her.

“Well let’s play then,” Bernie suggested

 

Yep, you’ve guessed it. As Gaby my badminton skills improved 200%! Explain that? It felt a bit odd having the boobs again, but at least they weren’t attached to me this time! We swapped partners several times so that we each played with the others, whoever I played with won.

“Well Gaby, it looks like Drew’s a cycling ace and you’re a badminton champ!” Aunt Carol mentioned as we collapsed into the garden furniture a while later.
“Yeah, Drew’s crap at badminton” Al agreed
“Must be the skirt” Mad suggested, “what do you think Gab?”
“Dunno,” I allowed.

In truth I have no idea, does it work the other way round? They all think I’m a girl when i race so I don’t think so. Mind you I’m still riding as Drew, perhaps I should try riding as Gaby to find out? What am I thinking? I don’t want to find out, I am not a girl!

“Woo, woo. Anybody there?” Bernie was waving her hand in front of my face.
“You coming?” Al asked
“Eh?” articulate, not!
“Paper shop” Bernie stated
“Like this? No way!”
“Don’t be a wuss Gaby, you wore it at school and I’m wearing mine” Mad pointed out.
“You can fetch me a Chad “Aunt C called from the kitchen

Reluctantly I followed the girls out into the street dressed in this ridiculous outfit.

“You know Gab” Ally started, ”you’d look good as a cheerleader”
“No way!”
“I was only saying” Ally pouted
“I think you’re right” Bern put in
“It’s a pity,” Mad mentioned
“What is?” dumb huh?
“Well it’s a pity because your legs deserve to be seen” she went on

As if on cue a couple of lads whistled as they drove past, the passenger leant out of the van window.

“Nice legs Heidi!”
“See” Ally agreed
“I don’t know how you managed to con me into this” I fumed
“Moi?” Mad feigned innocence

 

I was most definitely back to Drew when I walked home with the Walters.

“Looks like you caught the sun Drew” Deb commented
“A bit I suppose, we’ve been playing badminton most of the day”
“So. You guys decide what we’re doing tomorrow?” Brit asked
“Mrs P said she’d take us skating”
“Hey cool!” Brit enthused
“Who’s going?” Deb asked
“Mad, Sabrina and us”
“Wonder what Jules is doing?” Brit mused

And Mum. Probably having some slap up meal in a fancy restaurant. Damn! I’m supposed to touch base with Anna, see what happened with Sonia. Ah well, I’ll give her a call later.

 

Maddy Bell 29.04.04

 

 

“Hi, can I speak to Anna please”
“Hang on” Mrs Price, Anna’s mum told me. I heard her call Anna, ‘Anna! There’s one of your girlfriends on the phone’.
There was a pause before I heard Anna’s voice, “Hello?”
“Oh hi Anna, it’s Drew
“Oh hi ya, where’s Jules?”
“Italy”
“Italy? What’s she doing there?”
“Mum and Dad organised a surprise trip, she flew out at lunchtime”
“She could’ve rung me, we were going to the pictures.”
“Sorry, I guess she forgot in all the excitement”
“Yeah I guess. So what do you want?”
“Just wanted to find out what happened with Sonia”
“Oh right. Hang on a minute.” The phone went quiet then the unmistakable sound of a door closing. “Good, Mum can’t hear now.”
“So what happened then?”
“Well she rang me last night when the henna didn’t wash off, she was in a right panic.”
“I bet,” I chuckled
”So anyway I told her that it had come straight off for me and Jules and suggested that she might need a stronger cleanser. She started getting a bit hysterical so I said I’d take my deep cleanser over to see if that’d work. When I got there she looked a right state, all of her face was red from rubbing but the henna was still there”
“What did her mum say?”
“She thought it was quite funny but Son sure wasn’t. Anyway I left my ‘special cleanser and came home”
“So it worked pretty good, I don’t s’pose your cleanser did anything?”
“Well it er did quite a bit”
“Pity”
“What do you mean, it’s great! It wasn’t really cleanser Drew”
“But I thought you said?”
“That’s what I told Sonia. It was really hair remover”
“Oh wow! So what happened?”
“Well her mum rang mine about ten o’clock last night, apparently Sonia had an allergic reaction to my ‘cleanser’, it didn’t shift the henna only her eyebrows and clumps of her hair where the cleanser got on it!”
“Brill! She must look a right sight”
“Well she’s not been about today but I reckon revenge is sweet!” Anna chortled

 

The Walters sisters couldn’t believe what Anna had done. Deb pointed out that she could be in deep trouble if anyone found out. Who’s telling anyone? Not me!

 

Beep beeeeep!

“Come on that’s Mrs P!” I mentioned to the girls.

Brit and Deb headed outside and I set the alarm and locked up behind them. I remembered my skates today; I am not having a repeat of last time!

“Hi girls” Aunt C called out

We squeezed into the car, it was a bit tight with four in the back but it’s not too far I suppose. Mrs P didn’t go the way I thought she would and we ended up in a distant suburb of Sheffield.

“What’re we doing Mum” Mad asked
“Park ‘n’ Ride, we’ll catch the tram from here”

I don’t even know where we are? The sign says ‘Halfway’, whatever that means. We collected our kit and walked to the tram stop where one of the more colourful trams was waiting, all pink with cartoon people going to Meadowhall! We found seats and settled down. The tram set off alongside the road and we sped along.

“What’s that?” Sabrina asked pointing to a strange shaped building
“Crystal Peaks, it’s the local shopping centre” Aunt Carol replied, “we can have a look later if you like”

The tram continued on, joining the road again as it headed up steeply uphill.

“I recognise this,” I mentioned as we crossed the main road, but we soon left the road and into the fields before dropping back into the outskirts of Sheffield. Soon we turned onto the dual carriageway that runs around the edge of Sheffield and we raced the road traffic until we turned towards the city centre. Our American visitors were surprised that we were on the roads and then I recognised the road we took to get to Norfolk Park where I won my first race, remember? Then a terrific vista over the city came into view.

“Nearly there kids”
“Great” Mad enthused

The tram left the road and entered what looks like a toboggan run; I could see the skating rink down to our left, then with a flourish of the bell we pulled up at our stop. The six of us walked back towards our destination and five minutes later we joined the crowd of kids waiting to get in.

Mad and I went to claim some seats while the others went to organise some skates, then Mad disappeared to go put her skirt on leaving me guarding our stuff.

“Hi, it’s Gaby isn’t it?”

Eh? I looked over to the ice.

“It is you! Like your hair”

Of all the luck! It was Jessica, the girl who gave me a skating lesson last time.

“Er hi”
“You on your own today?”
“No I’m with some friends, they’re just getting ready”
“Still wearing jeans huh, you’d be much better off in a skirt”

No I wouldn’t!

“See you on the ice!” she enthused, leaving with a wave
“Who was that?” Mad enquired
“You remember that girl, Jessica from last time”
“Oh yeah, the skater”
“That’s the one”

Just then the others arrived with their hired skates, including a pair for Mrs P.

“I thought you were going shopping Mum” Mad mentioned
“Well I thought I’d join you for a while, I used to be a demon skater”

Parents!

 

The others were soon booted and we headed onto the ice. Wow! For once I’m not the worst skater! Sab was okay but both of the Walters have two left feet. Aunt C took charge and got her charges to quiet ice in the middle of the rink while I joined Sab and Mad in the circling pack. We did a few laps getting back into the swing and feeling a bit more comfortable I decided to try a one eighty. Big mistake! I clipped a blade as I spun then started wind milling my arms before finally losing control completely and hitting the deck, my momentum carried me on to end up against the side boards

“Drew!”
“Gaby!”

Two voices approached me and I blinked up at Mad and Jess standing over me.

“You okay?” Mad enquired
“You girl, need some more lessons!” Jessica chortled
“Urgh!”
“Come on you” Mad offered a hand

I scrambled to my feet then realised I had a problem.

“What’s the matter?” Jessica asked
“I’ve um split my jeans”
“I told you a skirt is better last time”
Mad giggled, “I’m Maddy, we met when we came a few weeks ago”
“Oh I remember, Gaby’s friend. The others girls here?”
“Not the same ones, we’re with my Mum, that’s her over there” Mad pointed to where the Walters were getting some pointers.
“Er guy’s, what am I going to do?”
“You can borrow my jeans to go home,” Mad offered
“I’ve got a skirt you can borrow, come on” Jess enthused grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the gate. Why me?

Mad went off to find Sabrina as Jess and I slid our covers on.

“Look Jess, I’ll just sit out, thanks for the offer though”
“Oh don’t be daft, come on you don’t want to sit watching everyone else having all the fun”

How am I going to explain this one away? Jess practically pushed me into the locker room where she opened one of the big lockers marked staff. She shuffled about inside for a moment.

“Why didn’t you ring, I could have got you a free pass”
“Er we only decided yesterday afternoon”
“Well remember next time. Here we are!” she turned holding up an all too short wrap skirt.
“It’s a bit erm, short”
“Oh come on Gaby, its not that bad. I’ll wait for you outside; you can leave your jeans in my locker. Oh I just thought, I bet your not wearing tights are you?”
Should I be? “Er no, why?”
“Well you don’t want to show off your assets do you, hang on.” She delved back into the locker. “You can keep these” she handed me a pair of heavy tights a bit like what I wear on the bike although they were tan with feet and no shammy. “See you in a mo”
“Er okay”

How the hell do I get the Americans to believe me about Gaby now? Jessica is convinced that’s my name and here I am contemplating going out onto the ice in a skirt. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth arguing! As I hung my jeans in the locker I spotted the poster on the inside of the door, it was Jess wearing a fancy sequinned outfit, ‘Jessica Mathews, Team GB 2002’ was printed across one corner. Then it clicked, Jess was the skater we watched on the box the other night!

 

Five minutes later I joined Mad, Sab and Jess on the ice.

“Nice legs” Sab mentioned
“This wasn’t my idea” I started to explain
“Yeah Mad said you split your trousers. I think you’re pretty cool wearing a skirt, not many guys would”

Jess looked a little confused.

“Come on, Jess has promised to teach us how to do a toe loop properly” Mad advised

I shivered involuntarily as I moved onto the ice. Just how bad can this get? The four of us found some clear ice and the ever patient Jess started to direct us in the art of the toe loop!

Mrs P and the others were now circling, somewhat unsteadily on the Walters parts, around the rink then the mid session klaxon went off and we all headed off the ice to allow the polisher to freshen the surface. Jess headed towards the shop while we went to join the rest of our party.

“Drew? Why are you wearing a skirt?” Deb asked
“He split his jeans” Mad answered for me
“Jess lent him the skirt,” Sab added
“Who’s Jess?” Mrs P asked
“Jessica Matthews, she’s a skater” Mad put in
“She’s on the national squad” I managed to get in.
“You look a proper cutie, ooh and hose too,” Brit teased
“It was either this or sit and watch” I spat back, “how about swapping then?”
“No way!”
“Leave the poor lad alone,” Mrs P suggested
“Sorry Drew, but it does suit you”
“Sis, will you give over already!” Deb mentioned to her sibling
“‘Kay, I was just saying”
“Anyone want a drink?” Aunt C enquired successfully trying to change the subject.

 

The cleanup crew were finished in about 15 minutes and the klaxon sounded for the second part of the session. We collected our kit and prepared to hit the ice again.

“Sorry about that Gab, had to speak to my coach”
“You must be Jessica” Aunt Carol suggested
“That’s me”
“I’m Maddy's Mum”
“So you guys must be Debbie and Britney?” she asked
“That’s us” Deb confirmed, “You must be the famous skater”
“Not really famous” Jess coloured up.
“Don’t embarrass the girl, you three going with Jess again?” Aunt C asked
“Jess?” Mad asked
“Fine by me, come on Gaby, we’ll try a Double Axel”
“See you guys later” Sab waved to the others as the four of us went to claim a patch of ice.

Did I mention how different skating in a skirt is? No? Well it is! You can move your legs so much easier, and no chance of splitting it, well not this one anyway. Not that I want to make a habit of it but I can see why the girls always change when we come.The next forty-five minutes were great. No troublemakers on the ice, just people having a good time. More amazing was that no one made any mention of my skirt wearing, in fact I forgot about the skirt. Jess taught us a few new moves and whilst the Double Axel was a bit beyond us, I felt a lot more confident on the ice.

“And remember Gaby, phone next time”
“I will Jess and good luck with your competition next week”
“Thanks, bye everyone.”
“Bye Jess”
“Bye”
“Good luck”

We returned to the world outside, I still had the thick tights on but Mad’s jeans replaced Jess’ skirt before we left.

“Come on, lets catch the tram back to Crystal Peaks, we’ll eat there before we head home” Aunt C suggested as we started to walk towards the tram stop.
“So Drew, why was Jessica calling you Gaby?” the Britney terrier enquired.
“A sort of private joke. Last time we came, the guys were talking about my cousin but Jess thought it was me so she started calling me Gaby” good story huh!
“Sounded more like she thought you were Gaby to me” Deb pointed out.

I really need a very good smoke screen!

We only waited a couple of minutes for a tram that soon whisked us up the hill to the ring road then on to this Crystal Peaks place. It didn’t take long to walk across from the tram stop and we entered the centre. We headed straight for the food court downstairs; there was a cinema down there too! We decided on the ‘traditional’ restaurant, well it was mostly English cuisine, hot pot, roast beef and so on alongside various salads and pasta dishes.

“How come we’ve never been here before Mum?”
“I’ve been a couple of times with your Dad but there’s not much for you kids, it’s hardly Meadowhall.
“Our nearest Mall at home is about this big,” Sab piped up
“There’re some retail sheds here too, B&Q and so on” Aunt C mentioned
“Can we have a look?” Mad enquired
“Well we don’t need to rush back, I wouldn’t mind a look myself. That okay with you girls, Drew?”

Everyone was in agreement so after checking out the few stores and the market in the shopping centre we followed the signs up the hill to the retail park. There were all the usual players, carpet shop, DIY, furniture, PC World, a sports store, pet shop and furniture place. Not generally a hot destination for teens!

We skipped Furniture World but Shoe City attracted the female element like a magnet! I found a seat and pulled my phone out and started fiddling with it, finally loading Pac Man®. In the distance I could hear the girls oohing and aahing over the various footwear offerings, soon I was lost in my game.

“Are you okay miss?”

I jumped a mile

“Gaby? What are you doing here?” could this get worse?
“Sarah. I could ask the same”
“I’m covering for one of the girls here for a few days, she broke a leg and they needed cover in a hurry so I volunteered. I’ll be back in Mansfield on Monday. So why are you here?”
“We’ve been skating in Sheffield, the others decided they wanted to check out Crystal Peaks on the way back so here we are.”
“Not looking for shoes yourself?”
“No, i've er got enough”
“No girl has enough shoes! Wait here there’s some new ones that you’ll just die for!”
“No rea…lly” she was already off and I was talking to air.

I wondered if I could do a runner, nah that’s rather churlish and despite her being a bit pushy, I like Sarah. Too late anyway she was back.

“I just know you’ll love these” she knelt down and opened the box, “get those trainers off,” she ordered. Best humour her.

Well the shoes were kind of cute – on a girl, not me! Sarah oohed and aahed; I walked up and down and agreed they were comfortable. Yes they looked good with ‘my’ jeans, and yes they would look good with a skirt, yes much better than my trainers, £39.99, yes very good value indeed. She’s done it again! Talk about a slick operator! I decided to make good my escape and found a perch outside in the sunshine to wait for the others.

I inspected my new footwear, Sarah insisted I wear them out, they were certainly a bit different, pointy toes covered in sequins with an elastic strap around the heel and in Sarah’s words, ‘a cute little kitten heel’. Like I said, cute on a girl, not on me! What am I thinking, I’d better put my trainers back on, trainers, bum! I’ve left them inside! And too late anyway here come the girls.

“There you are, did you see your friend Sarah?” Mad started
“Ooh I like those!” Deb mentioned

Mortified? You bet!

Mrs P joined us; she’d fallen foul of the shoe fairies too!

“Snap!” Mad exclaimed

So here I am wearing the same shoes as my girlfriends mum!

“Looks like we have the same taste eh Drew” Aunt C opined
“Er”

Brit and Sab were whispering, I was fast doing a beetroot impersonation wishing that the ground would up and swallow me.

“What happened to your trainers?” Mad asked
“Left them inside, I’ll go get them”
“We’ll go have a look in Sportsworld next eh” Mrs P suggested
“‘Kay” I reluctantly agreed

When I re-emerged Mad was waiting on her own.

“So?”
“Let me get my trainers on”
“Forget that, the others have gone on. So what’s with the shoes, they really do suit you”

I was very conscious of the clicking of my heels as we made our way to the next store, explaining how I came to be wearing them.

“Drew Bond! You really need to learn to say no you know.”
“I guess so”
“You know the Walters are pretty certain that you’re Gaby don’t you?”
“I don’t suppose anything would convince them otherwise now would it?”
“Don’t think so, maybe you’d best come clean, tell them everything”
“I guess so”

I spent the rest of the afternoon on autopilot, Mad pulled me around and I just nodded in reply, by the time we got back on the tram to return to the car I was not the only one carrying stuff! Sab and the Walters were quite animated and Aunt Carol had a bemused look on her face. We drove back home where the Walters and I joined the Peters for tea. When Mr P dropped us home I was decided on a plan.

 

Maddy Bell 03.05.04

 

 

It was a bit of an odd evening, mind you, nowhere near as strange as the rest of the day! The skating, well that wasn’t too bad but the shoes! And I had to wear them all the way back to the Peters before I could rescue my trainers. Oh my plan! Well I’m not telling you yet! I know you lot, it’d get back to Deb and Brit tout suite!

 

I awoke to the sound of rain splashing on the window, much more typical summer weather! And I’ve got a race today, not a pleasant thought in this weather! Mind you it’s a bit unusual for me, a ‘road’ race, well okay it’s still a circuit but it is real roads, at least partly! Today is Newark carnival and my race is one of several events taking place during the afternoon.

Revelations about me and Gaby will have to wait!

Dad decided to take the camper, as the changing facilities looked likely to be ‘not ideal’ Town Halls are not renowned for their sporting facilities! We left mid morning, that is me, Dad and the Walters girls, no extra’s today, it’s not far as you know but parking is bound to be a chore and we can catch some of the other entertainment too.

It was still ‘silling it’ down, as Dad put it, as we approached Newark passing the aromatic sugar plant. At least they were organised, we had a pass so that we could park by the bus station, normal parking was suspended for the day! The girls attitude towards me was a bit on the strange side, neither hostile or particularly friendly, there was ‘a bit of an atmosphere’ to put it mildly! Still I had a plan but that’s for later.

They were doing the bike checks over here and as we were pretty early I didn’t have to wait for my bike to get the once over. The girls were a bit unenthusiastic generally, luckily the rain backed off and by the time we had made our way to the Town Hall even Dad had picked up on the atmosphere.

“Right you three, I don’t know what’s gone off and frankly I don’t want to know. What I do know is that Drew needs to concentrate on his race so I’ve got a suggestion. I’ll look after Drew and you girls can go and enjoy yourselves with the carnival, how’s that sound?”
“We don’t mind staying” Deb started
“De-eb!” Brit whined
“But seeing as you offered, yes please”
“Right, that’s settled then. I expect you to behave responsibly and not get into trouble? There’s food in the camper, we’ll be about until around one but otherwise I’d like you back here at four, okay?”
“Ah huh! Four o’clock here” Deb agreed
“See ya later Drew, and good luck!” that was the most I’d gotten out of Britney since yesterday afternoon!

 

“So, you going to tell me what all that was about?” Dad obviously did want to know!

We followed the signs through to the race control as I started to explain.

“Its really embarrassing Dad”
“More than usual?”
“Sort of”
“Hi John” Dad called across the room
“Ready champ?”
“Yes thanks, well I think so anyway”
“Have to go, I need to check that the safety barriers are in the right places”
“No rest eh?” Dad mentioned
“Don’t know what I did” John chuckled, “see you both later”
“Bye”

I signed on and got my number and programme.

“So come on then you were saying,” Dad prompted.

Was I?

“Well you know we went skating with Auntie Carol yesterday?”
“Yes?”
“Well it all started when I split my jeans…” I told him the whole sorry tale as we made our way back to the camper.

“…And although they didn’t say anything, I’m sure they know who Gaby is.”
“So why the silent treatment? Why not just come out with it”
“I suppose they think I’ve been intentionally leading them on, and you and Mad too”
“So what are you going to do about it son?”
“I don’t know Dad,” I collapsed onto a seat while Dad put the kettle on to boil, “I’m not sure whether they think I’m a girl pretending to be a boy or the other way round even.”
“Do you want me to try and sort it out?”
“They didn’t believe you the other week” I accused
“Well in hindsight I suppose we were a bit light on the truth”
“Thanks anyway Dad, I’ve got an idea, so I guess I’ll try that first”
“Well I’m here if you need me. Flipping heck Drew, John works quick, they’ve got you in the programme as North East Champion.”
“Lets see”

Dad passed the programme over, not just a mention either, a picture from Harrogate and a paragraph extolling my pedigree! Somehow John had managed to avoid saying I was a girl outright, but there were several hints! Anyone watching this afternoon could be forgiven for assuming I was my mother’s daughter! Grrr!

I got myself ready and as the rain was holding off I went for a quick ride to check my bike out. I found a quiet lane and spent half an hour practising sprinting and stuff before heading back to Dad and the camper.

“Everything okay Drew?”
“The tyres both seem a bit soft,” I noted
“Well they’ve forecast more rain this afternoon, you might need the extra grip”
“I guess so” Mind you extra grip on these tyres doesn’t amount to much! I mean I don’t suppose there’s a whole square inch on the road even now!
“We too late to eat?” Deb poked her head through the door.
“No, come on in girls, we were just about to have ours”

I was surprised that they’d come to eat but their attitude towards me seemed to have improved. Seemingly too soon it was time to head to the circuit and the girls helped by carrying some of the kit for Dad. As I mentioned before, the cycling events were just part of the afternoons entertainment. Before we could get on the circuit we joined the crowds watching a series of short running races then a dog obedience thing with the hounds leaping through hoops, tunnels, over walls and so on. We were on next! Well after the air display, which was to entertain the crowds while the circuit was made safe!

The first race was a fun event for the local paperboys, three laps of the circuit complete with paper bag! The serious brigade pedalled up and down the short bit of road between the two sides of the circuit while we waited. I looked up at the grey sky with some trepidation; I didn’t relish riding round here in the wet! John called my race onto the circuit for a couple of warm up laps, boy this circuit is tight! Every corner was ninety degrees and the surface went from bumpy tarmac to corrugated concrete to pseudo cobbles! This all on a circuit of about half a mile.

John called us all to the line where he did the PR bit, introducing us to the crowd, I was well embarrassed when I was introduced as ‘the Newly crowned under 13 champion from Warsop”. Now everyone expected me to do something, I was feeling decidedly nervous. I got some strange looks from my fellow competitors but I tried to concentrate on the job in hand.

The Mayor waved the Union Jack and the event started. The other riders were the usual group that ride the local events plus a couple that I didn’t know from Nottingham. No one was particularly keen to do anything for the first couple of laps as we got used to the circuit, it really was a case of sprint, brake, sprint, brake as the longest straight was maybe all of a hundred metres long!

The more experienced amongst us edged to the front and on lap three started to make a race of it, no hurry, there’s still twenty seven more laps! As usual the younger and less able were quickly tailed out as the pace picked up due to the continual out of corner sprinting. The laps started to blur into each other as about a dozen of us chased around Newark market square.

I wasn’t sure at first but when a steady staccato started to hit my helmet and umbrellas appeared in the crowd, I knew it was raining! The pace started to slack a bit as the wet started to slick the roadways, now what did Mum say last year? Oh yeah ride confidently but don’t take risks. Sounds like a plan. I looked about at the increasingly nervous bunch and assessed what I knew, yep, why not, nothing ventured!

Next time through the little chicane I didn’t ease off and carefully picking my line, went for it. I put my head down and with a clear road in front I could pick the best line and keep the pace up. The rain started to descend heavier and a few puddles started to form on the uneven surfaces. I sensed someone coming up behind me, well in fact a couple of someone’s, the lads from Nottingham. They were obviously pretty good riders and the three of us slotted together into a working group.

The crowd, spirits dampened by the rain, still managed to cheer us as we steadily caught and lapped the slower riders. At this rate I’d get a podium finish at least! A couple of times I felt the bike start to slide on a corner, the tell tale rainbow of oil giving a clue as to the cause. I half expected a premature end but the rain started to ease back to a steady drizzle and even a few umbrellas disappeared.

My companions seemed happy enough for me to be there and the laps steadily ticked away, fifteen, halfway, twenty, twenty-five. The circuit was becoming hypnotic but with four laps to go the main bunch hove into view ahead of us. Seemingly with one mind the three of us lifted the pace again. Half a lap later the heavens dumped on us big style but the three of us kept at it barely easing. I noticed the bigger of my two breakaway colleagues start to fishtail on the corners then I guess he decided to give it best as his back tyre finally gave up the last of it’s air.

Two to go, hell I could win this! We slowed a bit, the main bunch were holding us off and there was nothing to be gained by catching them anyway.

“Ding! ding!, ding!, ding!”

Word of my sprinting skills had obviously reached Nottingham as despite the wet, my remaining breakaway partner hit the gas. I closed the gap by the chicane but he kept the pace going, perhaps sensing defeat looming. Four corners to go, whoa! That was twitchy! Three, sprint, two, nearly time to go, one corner before the finish, go for it Drew. I pulled alongside my companion and went into the corner on his outside ready to sprint for the line. Then wham!

I was more surprised than anything else! The other bike slid into me taking me out big style! We both variously slid across the tarmac in one of those slow motion sequences. My bike disengaged from my cleats and I watched as it hit the straw bale ahead of me, bouncing up as I slid in behind. I must have been on autopilot. I whammed into the straw, my bike crashing down next to me. I didn’t stay still for long, with the sound of the crowd in my head, I got myself up, pulled my abused steed back to vertical and pushed off. I could see John barely fifty metres away with the chequered flag and set off. There was something wrong with my bike, the bars were twisted and the gears were making a horrible noise.

I glanced over my shoulder, Nottingham was just remounting. Yes! I can do it! I seemed to crawl towards the line but finally there it was. I careered across the line and somehow Dad was there catching me as I collapsed off the bike.

 

What happened? I blinked and realised that I was looking up at what? Not a ceiling, ah right, a camper roof? No ambulance.

“Ah good” a voice mentioned, “had us worried there for a minute passing out like that”
“What?”
“Delayed shock” the voice grew a face, a paramedic in green overalls. “She’s alright” he called outside.
“Thank heaven for that” it was Dad.
“I’ve dressed her scrapes, nothing too serious but I reckon trousers will be out for a while, that hip will be quite sore.”
“Thanks”
“No problem, I’ll leave you to it, you can take her home when you’re ready” he clumped out making way for Dad.
“Will you stop doing that please”
“Sorry Dad, did I win?”
“Yes you won but your bikes a right mess”
“Shit!”
“Mind you I think you got the worst of it”
“Is he okay?” Deb enquired
“A few scrapes, nothing too serious” Dad replied
“I am here!” I complained
“Unlike your skinsuit” Dad went on
“Bugger”
“Deborah, here’s the camper keys, can you go get one of the big blankets?”
“Sure, won’t be long”
“Where’s Britney?”
“Collecting your licence”
“Oh right” I gingerly sat up and winced as realised that my tarmac slide had removed chunks of my left hip, knee, arm and shoulder!
“Steady kiddo”
“At least nothings broken” I temporised
“You’re mother is going to go bananas! What were you up to?”
“Well I was getting ready for the sprint”
“And you let your race head get the better of your common sense!”
“Hey he slid into me!” I said indignantly
“You okay Drew?” Brit asked from the doorway
“Er sort of”
“We’re just waiting for your sister then we can get off. Can you take his bike, we’ll be over shortly”
“Okay, oh here’s Deb now”

 

Wrapped in a blanket and scraps of skinsuit, I was helped back to the camper where I gratefully once again collapsed, this time just onto one of the seats.

“Are you going to get some clothes on?” Dad asked
“I think I’d better, this is a bit drafty and wet,” I agreed
“Come on Brit, let’s give Dee some privacy”
“Urm Deb, Brit. You wouldn’t have brought any spare clothes would you, a skirt maybe?”
“Drew?” Dad started.
“It’s okay Dad”

The girls were goldfishing.

“Brit?”
“Erm, no just undies. What’s up with your jeans?”

In reply I revealed my bandaged and bruised leg.

“I don’t think I could get them on let alone wear them. I guess I’ll have to stay wearing the blanket.”
“You can’t do that” Deb stated, “I’ll go get you something, if that’s okay Mr B?”
“Er yeah. Okay”
“Coming Brit? Oh what size are you?”
“Twenty four waist” I supplied. The Walters duo left leaving Dad and me alone again.
“What are you up to Drew Bond? Volunteering to wear a skirt indeed!”
“They want Gaby, let ‘em have Gaby! And besides, it’s true, I can’t wear trousers with all these bandages.”
“I can’t say that I approve, but I’ll go with it for now. You want to go to the prize presentation, I guess not if you’re wearing a skirt.”
“Oh what the hell, John thinks I’m a girl anyway, so he claims. There’s no one here that I know that well and if anyone makes the connection – I’ve got an excuse!” I again indicated my throbbing, aching, stiff leg.

Dad washed the grime off me after I peeled my wrecked race kit off. I felt a bit more human as I sat naked wrapped in the blanket while Dad assessed the remains of my bike.

“How bad is it?”
“Not as bad as I thought, the back wheel’s shot, there are a few scrapes and scratches but nothing major.
“What about the handlebars and stuff?”
“Hmm, the tapes had it but I think the rest’ll straighten up okay”
"That’s a relief”
“You’re telling me, I seem to spend all my time repairing your bikes”
“Not fair! I hardly ever break anything”
“Hmmph!”
“We’re back!” Brit announced

I know it was my idea but I was really dreading this. I do not enjoy wearing girl’s stuff; yesterday was awful to the power of ten! I inwardly cringed as I envisioned having to wear some frilly, girly thing, a skirt is bad, a really girly one – really bad!

“Ta da!” Deb pulled a pile of pale green material out of the bag and shook it out to reveal a long skirt; similar to the one I ‘borrowed’ up on the moors.
“Brit wanted to get you something a bit more fashionable but I think this is more practical”
“Er yeah” I agreed. I could live with this. Well I don’t have much choice now do I?
“I got you some panties too, those boxers you insist on wearing will show through the skirt” Brit mentioned
“Thanks”
“So come on Drew or is it really Gaby? What’s with all the boy thing?” Deb asked
“Okay, yes, I’m Gaby” I started
“I knew it!” Brit exclaimed
“Go on then Gaby” Deb prompted
“Well, Drew is really more me, Gaby is my, erm, more feminine side”
“Sheesh! Why didn’t you just say before girl? All that codswallop about being a boy. I don’t think you fool anyone, we knew right off that you’re a girl” Deb stated
“Yeah, you like ooze girl!” Brit concluded

My god, what sort of monster have I unleashed? This was going a bit different to how I imagined! Better if anything.

“Now you know girls, can we not go spreading it about?” Dad asked, “if my ‘daughter’ wants to dress like a boy, that’s okay by me.”
“At least let us tell Sab and Dan and Darla and Amy” Brit pleaded
“Sab yes, but not the others. I’m not that obvious am I?”
“Well no I guess not really” Deb allowed
“Are you going to sit there in that blanket all afternoon?” Dad queried
“I guess I should put some clothes on, now I’ve got some”
“Can I have a word girls?” Dad prompted pointing out through the door.
“Sure, shout if you need a hand Gaby”
“Er okay, thanks”

 

Several pain filled minutes later I eased my way outside to join the others.

“Why you want to dress like a boy is beyond me, you are just too cute!” Deb stated
“That’s sort of why, I hate being cute! Why can’t I be just… I don’t know ordinary!”
“I know loads of girls who’d just die to be as cu…pretty as you” Brit told me
“Yeah well” I allowed
“You up for the presentation D…Gaby?” Dad queried
“I guess so, I need to move about so I don’t seize up, I’m getting a bit stiff already”

 

Three quarters of an hour later I didn’t have to feign my blushes as I was announced as winner of the under sixteen’s. The other victim of the last corner had a look you couldn’t describe, jaw hanging, eyes on stalks as he took in my appearance. I don’t think he was sure what to think. I know that I’d be pretty pissed being beaten by a girl; I know he hadn’t but he thinks he has. This is all getting a bit weird.

“You okay young lady?” John asked as he helped me back off the podium
“A bit scraped and bruised”
“You had us worried for a minute, collapsing like that”
“Me too, must have been the blood loss,” I told him

He seemed to read something different to what I meant by the look on his face.

“Ah, er yes, that’s probably it” he agreed.

 

A small figure in the crowd nodded to herself. ‘I thought there was something going on there. So Drew is really a girl and that guy called her Gaby too. She could be her cousin’s twin! I’ll have to talk to Mr Wood about her; he must know the whole story. So pretty and determined if this afternoon was anything to go by.’ Jessica Bell smiled to herself, as the pretty teenager was lost in the crowd, her curiosity piqued.

 

Although my side hurt, we ended up staying until late evening, there were all sorts of sideshows and entertainment going on then as the light started to go a sort of Mardi Gras procession started. I’ve no idea what it was all about but we enjoyed watching the performers anyway! I was to say the least, shattered when we eventually got back to Bond Acres and the ’new’ girl went straight to bed.

 

“So you prefer Gaby or Drew?” Brit asked next morning
“Drew, but I suppose you can call me Gaby when we’re here”
“How’s the side?” Dad enquired joining us in the kitchen
“I’ve felt worse I suppose”
“So what are you kids up to today?”
“Nothing much, go over and see Maddy I guess”
“You’d best ring first”

I think Dad was hinting that they needed to know what was happening, good idea!

 

“Don’t you wear any makeup?” Brit queried as we walked over to the Peters. Deb had elected to stay and help Dad in the garden. Strange girl!
“Not usually”

I felt more than a tad uncomfortable walking along dressed once again in the long skirt but today wearing sandals and a t-shirt purloined from Jules room.

 

“Drew?” Mad queried
“It’s alright Maddy, Gabs told us all about Drew yesterday”

Mad gave me a questioning look. ‘Later’ I mimed back

“So Brit was right huh? You really are Gaby”
“Erm yes, but please don’t spread it around”
“Keep it to ourselves? I guess I can do that
“You alright cuz? You’re limping”
“I crashed yesterday”
“You should have seen her! Bang then she just got up and rode the finish, she still beat the guy who she was racing!” Brit has overnight become a dyno gob!
“Let’s see then,” Mad urged

Reluctantly I lifted my skirt up.

“Ooh that has to sting!” Sab winced
“Bruises again Gab?” Mad enquired
“Yep, all up my side”
“She’s done this before?” Brit asked
“Twice” Mad replied
“Can we, er talk about something else please?” I entreated

 

We decided to go for a walk; the weather was more settled today, so we headed off with a picnic lunch into the fields towards Langwith. I looked about as Gaby as I get by now, Mad insisted I wear the gold hoops in my ears and combined with braids yet again and a minimum of makeup, I was Gaby.

You know how these things go, we wandered along aimlessly, chatting, playing tag, and discussing boyfriends. Now that’s well weird and Mad was more than a little uneasy, more than me I think. I mean it’s one thing to have a boyfriend but quite another to have a girlfriend, especially when that girlfriend is actually your boyfriend pretending to be a girl pretending to be a boy but failing miserably! Confused yet?

Well anyway, we had our picnic and Brit, I discovered, was a dab hand at weaving daises into hair. We made our way in a roundabout way back towards Warsop, finally reaching town just after four.

“Looks like Sylv’s got visitors” Mad mentioned as we turned into Rhod’s street

I looked up the street, there was a new Renault Scenic parked at the salon.

“Not local” I observed
“Howd’ya know that?” Sab asked
“Registration, all the new cars round here start with an F or Y, that’s got W”
“Okay clever clogs” Mad started, “where’s that then?”
“Not sure but Y is Yorkshire and over in Manchester they’ve got M so I guess somewhere starting with W”
“I never noticed that before” Brit mentioned, “so what about that one” she pointed to a beat up old Ford, “that’s got GWE”
“Yorkshire”
“You said that was Y” Sab pointed out
“Only for new cars, the old system was more complicated”
“Geek!” Mad stated

We were now only a few houses away.

“Didn’t you guys say Rhod’s father lives someplace like a fish, Whales or something? That starts with W” Brit observed. Well it fit! But Rhod never said his Dad was coming to Warsop.
“It’s Wales, no H,“ I corrected, “but it could be”
“Hey someone’s coming out” Mad put her arm out to stop us.

A big bloke came out, and I mean big! He went to the Scenic and unlocked it while Sylv and another woman came out onto the pavement. We couldn’t hear everything but the breeze brought us snippets.

“Well have a good trip Rhod, and you take care Keris” that was Sylv.
“Where’s that girl got to?” the man asked looking into the salon, “Merfanwee!”
“That’s Rhod’s Welsh cousin,” I told the others
“Cool we’ll get to see her” Mad whispered
“Come on Em, your Dad and Keris are ready to go” Sylv called inside
“Coming” a pretty dark haired girl came out and joined the others
“She looks a lot like Rhod” Brit observed
“Well they are related” Mad pointed out, “Me and Gab look a bit alike”
“No you two look a lot alike!” Sab stated

“Now behave for your mother, we’ll pop in on the way back” the thick Welsh accent rolled over to us.
“Yes Da” the girl replied
“Take care now Vanoo, see you in a fortnight” the woman said
“Have a good time Keris, and you Da” the girl gave the woman a quick hug.
“Looks like she’s staying with Sylv” Mad whispered excitedly

We watched as the two strangers got in the car and departed with the girl and Sylv waving them off. The pair quickly went inside.

“Come on” Mad encouraged
“Where?” I asked
“Dur! Sylv’s of course!”
“But…”
“Oh come on girl, if Rhod’s cousin is staying over we should introduce ourselves” Mad temporised
“Er I guess”

So I trailed along to the gennel that leads around back, Mad was firmly in control! We reached the gate and Mad let us in.

“Yoo hoo! Sylv! Rhod!” Mad called out

Sylv appeared at the door, maybe a little flustered.

“Oh hi girls, Rhod’s not here”
“We saw your visitors leaving, we thought it might have been Rhod’s Dad dropping him off” Mad was going for the jugular!
“Who is…it?” the girl joined Sylv but she sounded familiar. “Shit!”
“Just some of Rhod’s friends.” Sylv emphasised Rhod, “this is Maddy, erm that’s Britney, Sabrina and…” she craned to look past the others, her eyebrows rising when she recognised me, “Gaby?”
“Hi” Mad did a little wave.
“Girls, this is Mfanwy, Rhod’s cousin, she’s er staying for a few days” Sylv went on. The girl looked panic stricken!

My brain was running overtime. I replayed the earlier conversation ‘now behave for your mother’, Mfanwy’s Dad had said, so that means… and Rhod kept muttering something about Mfanwy the other week… that voice and, oh boy!

“That’s Mfanwy!” I exclaimed
“Like we just established that you daft cow” Brit mentioned
“That is you? isn’t it?” I addressed the now fast departing girl.
“You’d best come in” Sylv sighed.

The others weren’t sure what was going on, to be honest neither was I but by Sylv’s reaction there was definitely something! We followed her inside.

“What’s up with Merfanwee Sylv?” Mad asked
“Best ask your cousin she seems to know!” Sylv suggested
“Erm” I explained
“Okay” Sylv sighed deeply, “I suppose someone had to find out sooner or later. Mfanwy is sort of like Gaby here.”
“You mean a girl pretending to be a boy?” Sabrina asked, “She’s wearing a dress”
Sylv looked a bit confused, “no, no. It’s not Mfanwy, it’s Rhod”
“Rhod’s pretending to be his cousin?” Mad still didn’t get it
“Not quite”
“You mean?” Brit did that mobile head, raised eyebrow thing. Sylv nodded. “You English are just so weird!”
“Technically Rhod’s Welsh” I pointed out
“Walesish, English, it’s still weird.”

Sylv called my mate down.

“Rhod, come on down son”

He’d changed into combats and although the makeup was gone his hair was still up and he still had boobs! A despondent Rhod/Mfanwy joined us and slumped into a chair.

“I’m dead!” he pronounced shooting a look at me stood there in a skirt.
“Why didn’t you say?” I started
“Well it’s not something that slips into conversation easily is it? Nice ride Gaby and oh by the way I pretend to be a girl when I go see my Dad in Wales!”

He had a point. It all fits now though. The secrecy and the strange look that Ally gives when Mfanwy is mentioned. She knows! She must do!

“What about Ally?”
“Okay, I told Ally but she swore she wouldn’t tell!” he looked hurt
“She didn’t, we saw you outside with that big bloke,“
“Dad” he confirmed
“Your Dad and Keris”
“Cherys” Sylv corrected
“Well it all fitted together when your Dad made it clear that Sylv was your Mum” I concluded
“You were eavesdropping” Sylv accused

We didn’t mean to” Mad pleaded

“Sorry” I agreed
“Well it’s done now.” Sylv stated, “you staying for tea? We’ll explain for you, won’t we Em?”
“Yes Mam!” Rhod visibly deflated.

 

Maddy Bell 12.05.04

 

 

“So you’ve been doing this for what, three years?” I gasped
“Yeah” Rhod or should it be Mfanwy sighed
“Boy, I thought my life was tough” Sab put in

Over the last hour we had got the whole, I think, story from Sylv and Rhod. No wonder he never talked about his trips to Wales! And why he didn’t complain too much about the Easter dance episode. Seems that since he was ten, he’s become Mfanwy once a month and his Dad and step mum, Cherys, both think he’s a girl! Now that is way weird!

“What time is it?” Sylv asked
“Half five Mum”
“Oh bugger, Dan’ll be back soon”

Oh yeah, forgot to tell you, Dan had gone to stay with one of the other exchangees for the weekend as Rhod had to go away.

“Mrs Morgan? Ma’am?” talk of the devil!

Quite obviously, Dan doesn’t know about Mfanwy and Rhod’s only escape route is past Dan!

“Oh hi everyone, Rhod back yet?”
“Anytime now” Sylv replied
“So what are you guys doing?” he must have finally spotted the extra female bodies, “Drew here?”
“No, this is his cousin Gaby” Brit pointed me out, “you know the one in the pictures?”
“Oh right, hi Gaby, I’m Dan”
“Er hi Dan, the shy thing over there is Pippa” I fell back to the girls name Rhod picked out back in March.
“Hi Pippa” Rhod smiled back weakly
“We were just going weren’t we girls?” Mad suggested
“Yeah, cheer practice” Brit offered
“I’ve got something for Drew upstairs, hang on” Dan mentioned heading upstairs.
“What am I going to do?” Rhod asked in panic
“Come back to mine, I’ll lend you some boy stuff to come back in” I told him
“Okay”

We collected our stuff; Rhod grabbed his girl essentials and slipped his trainers on.

Dan came back down a lot slower than he went up. He obviously had something on his mind.

“Okay, if Rhod’s not back why is his case upstairs and why is there a dress on his bed”
“You went in my room!” Rhod accused realising too late what he’d done.
“Now Dan, we can explain” Sylv started

Dan’s face was like thunder

“You’re a queer! I thought there was something funny about you”
“I think you girls best go” Sylv suggested
“Why don’t you take your pansy girlfriend with you!” Dan spat
“Hey ease up Danno” Sab suggested
“And you can shut up black trash!”
“Dan!” Sylv shouted

This was getting out of hand. Sab was now in tears, Rhod had run upstairs and slammed his door, oh boy this was developing into a real situation!

“Come on, let’s go back to mine” Mad suggested
“Dan, I suggest you listen to Sylv” Brit mentioned over her shoulder
“It’s alright for you, Drew’s a mans man, I’m stuck here with a faggot!” the irony of that statement was hard to miss.
“Dan?” Sylv was not in control here.

The four of us beat a hasty retreat leaving the occupants of the Morgan household to battle it out amongst themselves.

“You okay Sab?” Mad enquired
“Uh huh. I’ve been called worse”
“I didn’t think Dan was like that,” Brit mentioned
“He’s angry,” I pointed out, “I don’t suppose he meant it”
“Drew’s right, he was just lashing out,” Mad agreed
“What about Rhod? What’s gonna happen?” Sab sniffed
“Dunno,” I admitted

“Come on Brit, Jules’ll be home soon!”
“Anyone would think you wanted to see your sister!”
“Come on!” I urged again

We didn’t stop at Mad’s when I realised the time, Dad and Deb were meeting Jules plane at six so they should be back from East Midlands not too much after seven. It was actually nearer eight when they touched down.

“Hi guys, Drew why are you wearing a skirt?”
“Nice to see you too”
“It’s okay Jules, Gaby’s told us everything!” Brit told her
“Huh!”
“Later sis. How was Mum?”
“Missing everyone, we had a brill time though, we stayed at this really swanky hotel….”

My interest faded swiftly when she started going on about the shops and the Italian men! We finally headed off to bed at nearly eleven on Dad’s prompting.

“Drew!” Jules hissed as I passed her door
“Wha”
“Sshh!”
“What?” I whispered
“In here” she instructed. I joined her inside and she carefully closed the door. “Okay bro, what’s gone off while I’ve been away?”
“What hasn’t” I sighed sinking onto her dressing table stool.

So I spent the next age bringing Jules up to speed.

“So like Rhod pretends to be this Mfanwy because his Dad thinks he’s a girl” she confirmed
“That’s about it,” I agreed
“And Dan found out and threw his dummy?”
“Big style! He was going mental”
“Good job he doesn’t know about you as well” Jules pointed out. “I’m still not sure what you’re up to”
“Well after Friday I was going to tell them that Gaby was really me, Drew but when I started to tell them they grabbed the wrong end of the stick.”
“So they think you’re really Gaby pretending to be a boy?”
“That about gets it” I agreed, “Sab knows but they’ve promised not to say anything to anyone else”
Jules shook her head, “Drew Bond!”

Monday dawned dry but overcast, I was worried about the situation over at Rhod’s but when we all met at school for today’s outing, both Dan and Rhod were there. However once on the bus they occupied seats as far apart as they could get, relations were obviously still pretty cool. We were off to Alton Towers today for a ‘fun’ day. With my scrapes and bruises there is no way I can go on much, oh yeah, no skirt today! My baggy shorts are just about bearable and a bit of ‘sun’ never goes amiss!

I don’t want to bore you with today’s trip but I guess you want to know something of it. Alton Towers is a theme park, without a theme! Okay so amusement park would be more accurate I suppose. It’s about an hour and a half from Warsop near a place called Uttoxeter. There are some pretty cool rides if you like that sort of thing, personally I can take it or leave it.

So I spent the day queuing for rides I wasn’t riding and waiting while everyone else did! At least I got to keep my lunch! It could have been worse, the rain that was forecast didn’t materialise. It was after lunch that the strangest thing happened.

“Mind if I sit?” it was Miss Bell, the Americans teacher.
“Sure” it’s not like anyone was sat there.
“You enjoy the carnival Saturday?”
“Carnival?”
“At Newark” she prompted
“Oh yeah, Newark”
“I saw you race, that was pretty impressive”
“Er thanks, crashing wasn’t”
“On the contrary, the way you got up and rode the finish, that impressed a lot of people, you were a hero, or should I say heroine”
“What do you mean?”
“At the presentation, the guy called you Gaby and you were wearing a skirt. Makes a girl to me, a very plucky girl”
“Shit! Oh sorry Miss, look it’s not what you think”
“And what do I think Gaby?”
“Please?” I begged
“Lets have a walk round the Gardens, young lady, you can explain on the way”
“Okay Miss, I just need to tell the others where I’m going”
“I’ll wait for you by the toilets”

Things are starting to get out of hand! So what do I tell her? Well I decided on the least complicated explanation, Gaby is a nickname; my injuries meant a skirt was the most practical thing to wear. I’m not sure if she bought it though. Scratch that she didn’t buy it! That was confirmed on the ride home.

“Erm Gab, sorry Drew” Brit whispered
“Yeah. Damn my hip itches!”
“Well I hope you don’t mind, but she is a teacher and all”
“Who is?”
“Miss Bell?”
“Oh right.”
“Well she asked me about Gaby? So I like told her.”
“Brit!”
“Sorry but she asked and she saw you on Saturday”
“I know. Ah well, I don’t suppose she’ll announce it to the world”
“‘Course not”

Sugar! Now there’s four people convinced that I’m a girl, worse than that, a girl pretending to be a boy and doing it badly enough to notice!

“So what’re we doing today?” Brit asked for seemingly the hundredth time since they arrived.
“We really ought to find out what’s happening with Rhod and Dan, I feel sort of guilty”
“Dan’s a jerk”
“Rhod’s my mate, whatever he wears”
“And Mfanwy’s pretty cute too!”
“I’m not sure Rhod would want to hear you saying that”
“Sheesh, you guys are one mixed up bunch. Girls being boys, boys being girls, it’s not exactly normal is it?”
“Define normal,” I challenged
“A… you sneak Gaby Bond!”
“Hey you two coming to Anna’s, she somehow got some pictures of Sonia!” Jules asked
“Oh yeah!” Brit agreed
“Sure” well I can talk to Rhod later.

Oh boy, the revenge on Sonia has repaid buckets! Apparently Sonia had a really bad allergy to the Henna and Anna’s cleanser, oh I told you that didn’t I. What Anna didn’t tell me last week was just how much hair was gone! Lets put it this way; her hairline is now somewhat higher and patchy!

Son’s mum went beyond ballistic, it was a big family dinner on Sunday and as Anna pointed out, she looked like a freakazoid! One unhappy momma! Oh and she’s grounded until Christmas! Sweet revenge eh? Sweet revenge!

Of course being Tuesday, it’s the Cuckney 10. How many times have I told you about Tuesday nights? At least a dozen I’m sure. Out of all those times I never once ‘tried’ to be Gaby or Dee, yeah I know I wore makeup one night and I’ve never really made too big a thing of John referring to me as a girl. Tonight it’s sort of new territory; I’m going to ‘be’ Gaby!

Dad fixed my bike last night, all except my wheels, he dropped then in at Sherwood’s to be sorted out, tonight on my old, well spare, race wheels. Deb and Jules were staying at home so the three of us set off in the car to meet Mad and go up to the course. Mad seems to have got hooked, hey I’m not complaining, not unless she stops the leg rubs!

What can I tell you? Being August there were not quite as many riders, what with holidays and stuff but there were still over twenty of us. Tonight was calm and airless, you might think that’s good but it makes it really hard with no ‘help’ at all. Mad and I set off for the start just under a mile back towards home.

“How’s the side Drew?”
“Better now I’m riding, I’ve got pretty stiff today”
“It’ll give us mere mortals a chance then” she giggled
“In your dreams!”
“Well you’re not going to catch me tonight”

I took that as a challenge and turned my battered bod to the task in hand.

I already said it would be hard tonight, it was. Mad started number twelve and I was fifteen so given recent form I should have caught her about halfway back, near the garden centre. Maddy was riding like a girl possessed though and I only just caught her as we made the last corner before the finish!

We both got back to the cars together, Mad was pretty well shot and I was fair done in too.

“Good rides both of you” Dad greeted us
“You nearly beat him Mad” Sabrina enthused, I did tell you that I was still ‘Drew’ outside of our little clique, Gaby is on a need to know basis!
“Not exactly beat” Aunt Carol pointed out, “Drew caught Maddy up”
“Oh right” I’m sure Sab didn’t quite get how time trials work.

“Hi kids” John came over a couple of minutes later.
“How’d they go this week?” Dad asked
“No personals tonight I’m afraid, 24.38 for Gaby and 27.41 for Maddy here”
“Well done Mad” Dad advised, “you’re catching the wunderkind!”
“So are you ready for Saturday young un?” John went on
“Bit sore still but I should be okay”
“You know that Paul Butler, the lad you beat on Saturday is the Midlands champ?”
“I’ve seen his name in the comic, I didn’t realise that was him though”
“He’ll be wanting revenge on Saturday”
“I guess so”
“See you on Saturday then, okay Dave?”
“Saturday John” Dad agreed
“Night kids” John waved as he walked back to his car.

“I’ll take Britney and Sabrina and get a table,” Aunt C mentioned
“Okay, we won’t be far behind you” Dad agreed
“Table?” Mad enquired as her Mum pulled onto the main road
“We thought we’d have a drink at ‘The Chequers’ before we go home.” Dad advised
“I could drink gallons tonight, it’s so close!” I complained
“Well get yourselves sorted and we’ll catch the others up eh?”

Five minutes later Dad pulled into the pub car park, ‘The Chequers’ is in the middle of Cuckney village near the church. The beer garden was pretty busy but Mrs P had secured a table and was just returning from the bar when we joined the others sat under a tree.

“Here we are, dry cider for you Dave and coke for you guys” Aunt Carol announced as she handed out our drinks.
“Thanks” Dad raised his glass
“I could get used to this,” I agreed
“You okay girls?” Dad asked our guests
“This is pretty cool” Brit replied
“So Saturday’s the big one eh Drew?” Aunt C asked
“Uh huh, National Championship”
“You’ll walk it Drew” Mad encouraged
“I’ll be lucky to make top ten”
“Don’t be so defeatist Drew” Mad’s Mum chimed in
“That’s what I keep telling him,” Dad pointed out
“Daa-aad” I complained

Sabrina changed the tack of the conversation.
“What’s ‘fletchings’?”
“Fletchings?” Mad queried
“On that gate, the name plate says ‘The Fletchings’, I just wondered what it meant”
“Arrows” Dad answered, “Wasn’t that the Archery place Carol?”
“Do you know, I think you’re right, they used to have targets and stuff in the shop at the front didn’t they”

The four of us looked at the olds, what were they talking about?

“Oh sorry, Sabrina” Dad went on seeing our mystified expressions, “they used to make and sell archery equipment from the shop at the front. Fletchings are the feather flights on the arrows, that’s where the name Fletcher comes from”
“Sounds better than arrow maker” I quipped
“You mean like people still do that stuff?” Britney asked
“Sure, it’s still quite popular round here in Robin Hood country, there are quite a few clubs and societies” Dad confirmed
“Cool!” Sab added

We decided to forego the chips tonight, so Brit had to forego firemen too! Okay, okay, it made me laugh!

After all the excitement so far this week, the rest of the week was boring! The Americans had a day trip to Chatsworth and Haddon Hall Wednesday so the old gang got together, all that is except for Rhod. So I’ve still got no idea what went off after we left on Sunday! On Thursday we all, that is the entire exchange group, went swimming over in Sheffield’s Ponds Forge complex. In short, although we were having fun, there was nothing particularly outstanding except the looks on the Walters faces when I arrived poolside bare-chested!

Friday turned into one of those ‘just hanging’ days at the Peters pad, like I said, uneventful. Tonight the five of us, that’s the three girls, Dad and me, are leaving for points south. Dad thought it would be best if we didn’t have too far to go in the morning so we’re staying in a motel place just north of London.

Maddy Bell 15.05.04

 

 

“Come on Drew, time to get up!”

I didn’t exactly snap to it, when I did crack an eye I was momentarily confused by my surroundings.

“Come on son, the girls are already downstairs getting breakfast”

It all came flooding back now. The drive down last night and the look on Brit’s face when Dad announced the sleeping arrangements, me sharing with him and the three girls in the other room. Just in case you missed it last weekend, the Walters and Sab have now got it in their heads that I’m actually a girl pretending to be a boy. I know, but they’ll be gone in a couple of weeks and they’ve promised to keep schtum! I’ve given up trying to disenchant them of the idea. Oh yeah we’re here because at two this afternoon I’m competing in the National under 13’s circuit race championship at London’s Eastway circuit.

I have to admit to being a bit keyed up, this is my first National Championship and I’m feeling some pressure. Mum gave me some tips when I spoke to her on Thursday but to be honest I’m mostly concerned about the weather, I don’t want to repeat last weeks ‘heroics’! Dad picked my wheels up yesterday and I’m borrowing Mum’s club skinsuit seeing as I wrecked mine last week.

I’m feeling pretty fit despite my scrapes and bruises, I’ve been training most days this week so there’s no excuses, it’s up to me and I must say, having the Tour Feminin winner for a mother doesn’t lessen the pressure! We left for the circuit just after nine, the fifteen miles down the Lea Valley took over half an hour and according to Dad it wasn’t even particularly busy. I’d hate to see London busy! We got parked and went to check out the circuit and other facilities.

“Hey wait up!” I looked around to see who was shouting.
“Wait up man!”
“That’s your mate Josh” Dad advised

Josh caught up to us.

“Hiya Drew, I thought it was you”
“Hi Josh, you come down yesterday too?”
“Aye man, Uncle Joe brought me” he gave the girls a look then a questioning glance back to me.
“Er you remember Britney, she was at Harrogate, this is Deb, Brits sister and this is Jules, my sister”
“Nice to meet you“ Josh said to them
I went on, “this is Josh Waugh from Newcastle”
Josh chuckled, “can you believe it, I thought this little squib was a girlie”
“Josh!” I hissed but he didn’t take the hint
“Uncle Joe says he’s only seen one girl ride like Drew here and that’s Jenny Bond. Must be in the blood man,” he concluded slapping a meaty hand on my shoulder causing me to wince.
“You okay man?”
“I had a crash last week” I admitted
“I might have a chance then” he chuckled, “look I have to go, see you later”
“Yeah, later Josh”
“Sheesh, does he ever stop talking? And that accent” Deb enquired
“Not often” I noted

We went by the HQ complex to use the facilities before returning to the car to get my bike ready. Time was starting to get on and the car park was just about full, with six age groups and up to forty riders in each, well that’s quite a lot of vehicles. I gave my bike one last polish before going to the bike check, Mum always says it helps her confidence, and it looks more professional!

I nodded greetings to a couple of my soon to be adversaries, it really is a small world; I spotted people that I recognised from my various trips around the country. Nottingham was in front of me in the queue and I recognised a couple of lads from the Oxford trip.

In some respects today is easier than a local race, or so Mum says. Why? Well the local rivalries often carry through, so much so that some of my fellow competitors will be concentrating on beating their local rivals rather than the race. Not only that but a lot of the riders are pack animals, take them out of their own pack and they tend to flounder, I wish!

At twelve sharp the circuit was opened and I joined Josh Waugh for a ride round and leg loosener. We didn’t talk on the first lap, Josh leading the way as we covered the mile long circuit.

“Canny circuit eh Drew?”

I pulled alongside to talk.

“Pretty flat” I observed, “the Sheffield circuit is really steep”
“Aye man, my local circuit at Gateshead is much harder than this,” he agreed
“There’s the Scarborough lads, come on” I sprinted up to the group in front, Josh hard on my wheel. I had an idea.
“Hiya” I greeted them
“Oh hi it’s you two, how’s it going”
“Great thanks man” Josh replied
“Look guys, how do you fancy having a proper crack at this?”
“What do you mean? Proper crack?”
“Well make sure one of us at least has a good crack”
“You I suppose” one of the others grunted
“Not specifically”
“No man,” Josh came in, “I reckon any one of us could win this like, but we can’t do it alone”
“That’s what I’m getting at, if we ride as a team, we all get a better shot”
“I suppose mummy told you that,” one of them mocked
“Give over man, she won the Tour didn’t she?” Josh pointed out to them
“So okay 007, we’re in. what do we do?”

I explained how it would work as we slowly rode around.

“Hey Drew!” a girls voice called out

I looked round and spotted a girl waving at me. I recognised her straight off, Kristen from that race at the power station

“Er see you guys later”
“Okay captain” Josh did a mock salute and I eased back so Kristen could catch up
“I thought it was you,” she stated
“Hi Kristen, how’s tricks?”
“Pretty good, I’ve been finishing with the boys the last few weeks”
“Great”
“You guys looked pretty intense,” she pointed out
“Team tactics, we all come from the same sort of area - ish”
“You’re the only person I know here today,” she lamented
I made a snap decision, “how about joining us?”
“Are you serious?”
“Well I reckon you could be a great help”
“If you’re sure, I’m in!”

 

“Okay people” the official announced through the megaphone, his flat London accent giving a few people problems, “the first half lap is neutral, anyone racing before the green flag will be disqualified. You all know the rules…” he started to explain something or other.

“Guys, this is Kristen, she’s gonna join us” I whispered to team North, “she knows what to do”
“Hi guys” Kristen mentioned

The others glanced round; I could see that even Josh wasn’t exactly impressed by our new recruit.

“If you say so man,” he allowed

“…Okay enjoy yourselves and have a good race!” he stood aside and some little fat guy with a big gold chain round his neck waved us away. Twenty-five laps, twenty-five miles, an hour or so’s racing! My supporters club were stationed at the top of the ‘climb’ and they cheered loudly as we passed.

“Time for action!” I mentioned to Josh, “good luck”
“Not luck, planning!”

The race started proper and now it was serious. Our ‘team’ tactics were pretty simple, stamp on any move without one of us in, and if one of us gets away, the rest of us stop any chasers, like I said, simple. It was clear virtually straight away that nearly everyone else in the race were riding as individuals, they’d fall straight into our trap.

The lap countdown board flashed past again, seventeen, I was surprised when I heard a familiar voice.

“Go on Drew!” Maddy. What’s she doing here, I glanced at the stand, and the whole Peters clan were there!

We did another couple of laps without incident, only a few riders were tailed out, mostly the girls but Kristen was still with us although she was starting to show signs of speed fatigue. I had an idea; I dropped back to talk to her. I explained my idea and she agreed to try it.

Eleven to go and time to party! My little team got Kristen in place, and right on cue she made the move onto the front of the bunch and by the line the plan was working a treat. I could see a few relieved faces around me as Kristen led us all over the line to start lap ten. The rest of us hung back a few places as we dropped towards the river and the ‘climb’, then as the roadway started to rise, all five of us made our move. Most of the bunch was still sorting out what gear to be in and we made a nearly clean getaway, only a couple of others spotting what was afoot.

It was pedal to the metal down the back straight, a total of nine of us doing bit and bit including Nottingham. He gave me a look of appreciation as we passed; he still thinks I’m a girl! The higher pace finally dropped through the finish, the crowd of mostly parents and teammates were quite vociferous in their support. The tannoy blared out, I could hear our names being announced but we were out of earshot before I could catch any more.

The nine of us continued to lap in some sort of order but surprisingly we didn’t really make much more impression on the bunch behind us, they were maybe a minute behind but staying there.

“Any ideas boss” Josh asked slipping alongside me.
“Not really, if you want to have a go, go for it”
“I’ll sound the others out” he suggested

Seven to go, laps and miles. The crowd has increased a bit as the finish starts to approach only about twenty minutes left. I guess nearly everyone was thinking on the same lines, keep it together, go for the sprint. Could I take the sprint? I looked around my companions, I can take the Scarborough lads I think, Josh is another matter. Then there’s Nottingham, I’m sure I’d have got him last week without the crash, that just leaves the other three. Can I take a chance? Dare I?

“Bond!” it was Kevin, one of ‘my’ team.
“Uh?”
“We’re all buggered, if you and the Toon want to have a bash, it’s okay with us, we’ll try to block the others”
“Cheers Kev” well suddenly its all change.

Josh turned and gave me a wink, I nodded in reply. Remember Harrogate, the breakneck descent? As we came through the finish I could see Josh preparing for a repeat, this time I’m going with him! Kev and the others eased the pace along the flat then Josh was off like a scalded cat! I wanged up the gears and set off in pursuit, our pace taking us most of the way up the ‘hill’ before we needed to drop a couple of sprockets.

“Go on son!”
“Dig in Drew!”
“Keep it going Josh!”

We’d escaped, but not alone, no we had company in the shape of Nottingham!

“Nice move kiddo!”

I grunted acknowledgement as the three of us started to rotate. The Scarborough lads were true to their word and no one else joined our little breakaway. My only chance of winning now is another break, but I’m well knackered, still third is pretty good.

My defeatist thoughts were broken as we passed the stand with two to go “you can do it Drew!” Maddy! What am I thinking about, third my arse! Josh gave me a questioning look, I shrugged back but he gave me the old go-ahead sign with his hand so Nottingham couldn’t see. Can I do this? I’ve got to give it a throw and Josh was telling me to have a shot. In for a penny!

I took the next half lap to assess Nottingham better, yep his weak point is the climb, my small size is a positive advantage here. As we slowed on the slope up to the line for the bell, Nottingham glanced first at Josh then me assessing his own chances. The bell rang as we crossed the line; I spotted a further opportunity, the main bunch. I’d been so caught up in just getting this far I hadn’t noticed that we were just short of lapping them. I mean, I know we’d lapped a few of the early bunch departures but I hadn’t given the bunch much thought.

We started the descent, me following the others, as the tarmac turned upwards we were almost on the back of the bunch. When the pace slowed a tad I made my move, a quick down change allowed me to keep my momentum going and I bridged the gap as we crested the now silent hill, my cheer squad having moved to the finish.

Kewl! Kristen’s still here! She was more on the ball than me clearly.

“Go on Drew, I’ll try to slow them down!”

I nodded breathlessly as we descended the back straight. Three corners and a short climb, less than half a mile to go. I got to the front of the bunch and punched on the pedals, dragging Kristen along before the elastic snapped and I broke free.

“Come on Drew!”
“Gaa-bee! Gaa-bee!”

I was now reaching that red haze stage again, the voices became just a mass of background noise and my breathing seemed to slow and everything seemed to be in slow motion. I dragged my lead like legs round, the red flag passed behind and I subconsciously changed my line so that I was on the opposite side of the roadway to the bunch. I broke the rule then, as my head dipped I looked under my arm, Nottingham was out of the saddle with Josh on his shoulder not ten metres behind and the bunch right behind them.

But there was the line! It was mine! I punched the air as I crossed the line, finally breathing again as I freewheeled along the flat. The bunch swept past, Kristen still comfortably sat mid bunch.

If I could remember much of the next half hour I’d tell you but I don’t so I can’t. Perhaps the highlight though was when Nottingham realised that I wasn’t a girl, he thought he’d won the boys category when he just edged Josh for the line. I guess it was okay if a girl beat him as long as he won too. In fact Kristen Oakley was the winner of the girls prize.

When the finish list was posted it was clear our little northern mafia had been a success. Besides Kristen, and me Josh got third and the Scarborough lads got fourth, fifth and eighth. I hadn’t seen John so far today, turns out he was Chief Commissar today and was ensconced in the judge’s booth. John must know I’m a boy, so why does he keep insisting on calling me Gaby? A question for another time.

 

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked Mad when the fuss abated a bit.
“My Mum and you’re Dad organised it on Tuesday”
“Thanks for coming”
“No problem champ” Mad planted one on me and gave me a good, hard, unexpected hug.
“Why aye man, seems like you’ve got a big fan club!” Josh stated joining us.
“Thanks Josh, I couldn’t have beat you or Nottingham in a straight sprint.”
“Well I’d rather it was you than him”
“Whatever, thanks, and you” I gave Kristen who arrived just then a hug too.
“Way to go Drew!” Kevin called over
“Thanks fellas”
“Don’t expect it every time” he retorted

 

Mad’s Dad, that’s Uncle John, suggested everyone go for a celebration dinner, well I’m not one to pass up free nosh and neither it seems were any of the others. Kristen went to find her parents and Josh and I went to get showered and changed. By the time we re-emerged everything was organised.

There were fourteen of us at the restaurant all told and we had a brill time! Kristen and Mad, after an initial bit of frostiness got along like a house on fire, Josh it turns out, thinks he’s a bit of a comic and Brit and crew just chilled. There was quite a bit of photography and medal waving, it was an all round kewl evening. All good things have to end and the party broke up about half eight.

I managed to corner Josh’s uncle as we left. “Mr Waugh,”

“Joe lad”
“Er Joe, why did Josh do it? He had a good chance himself”
“Remember what I told you at Harrogate? Well he’s just repaid the debt. Without you he wouldn’t have been here today, he owed you one okay”
“But...”
“Leave it at that man. Just remember for the future eh?”
“Okay. Can you tell him I appreciate it? A lot.”
“I will lad, I will. I’m expecting big things of you two in the future and I reckon you make a good team. I don’t know how you got the others to help, but that was well canny. Go on now, your Dads waiting”
“Thanks Joe”
“Away with yer”
“Joe!” Josh’s voice barged across the car park
“See you Josh!” I waved across
“Bye Drew!”

 

“There you are Drew, we’ve been talking and we’re having a change of plan.” Dad mentioned
“Me and Sab are gonna stay with you tonight!” Mad enthused
“Erm, how?”
“Your sister and Debbie are coming back to Warsop with us” Aunt Carol supplied

After today nothing surprises me! I gripped my medal, whatever happens, I won!

 

“I thought we’d stop off at Cambridge, get some lunch, look around the university maybe get a punt. How’s that sound?” Dad asked as we loaded the car. Sabrina and Mad had raided Brits bag for today’s outfits, as they hadn’t planned on an overnight stop.
“Sounds pretty cool” Brit agreed
“Drew?” yeah fine.

We clambered on board and Dad headed us in the right direction. Onto the M25 then the M11 towards Cambridge, we were just past Stansted airport when my phone rang.

“Hullo?”
“Hi Drew, it’s Mum. How’d you get on?”
“Mum, where are you?”
“Nice airport, so?”
“I won!”
“Well done son”
“Tell your mother hi” Dad mentioned
“Dad says hi, we’re on our way to Cambridge for the day”
“Beeeeep, oh damn, my battery’s going. Look Drew, have a good time and I’ll ring home later for a longer…. Beeeeeeep”
“Damn her phone cut off” I mentioned, “she’s gonna ring home later”
“Best not get back too late then” Dad pointed out.
“What’s that?” Sab asked as we cruised up the concrete
“Looks like an old bus, must be going to a rally or something,” Dad informed us
“I thought the Imperial War Museum was in London?” I mentioned
“Where did that come from?” Dad asked
“There was a sign for it just now, Imperial War Museum, Duxford”
“Fancy a look? We’ve got plenty of time,” Dad suggested
“Sounds a bit grim” Brit put in
“Could be cool, my Uncle Joseph is in the Air Force back home, it’s not all guns I bet” Sabrina added
“Mad?” Dad asked
“Okay by me” she agreed

We continued north and passed a couple more old buses with boards in the front for something called ‘Showbus’. We spotted the sign for Duxford and got in the left lane that for some reason had a queue.

“Looks like there’s an event on” Dad stated
“There’s some more buses in the queue,” Sab pointed out.

The queue moved along quickly and we soon reached the pay booths

“One adult and four children for the museum” Dad requested
“Twenty pounds, gets you in the museum and the buses”

Dad paid and received a flyer and tickets in return.

“What’s that Drew?” Mad asked from behind my head
“Dad was right about those buses, they must be coming here for the bus rally thing”
“Weirdo’s” Brit voiced the thought at the back of my mind

We parked amongst the hundreds of cars already there.

“They probably think riding a bike’s weird” Dad pointed out.

Point made, different strokes.

We walked over to the biggest hanger, just behind where we were parked.

Maddy read off the board, “The British Aircraft Collection A selection of military and civil aircraft for you to browse. The Normandy Experience looks at the dramatic invasion of Europe on D-Day, June 1944, and the events that followed in Normandy and NW Europe until the end of the war. The Land Warfare Hall houses Duxford's collection of tanks, trucks and artillery. The Battle of Britain Exhibition looks at the people and machines involved in the Battle of Britain and the Blitz of 1940-1941. The American Air Museum houses the finest collection of historic American combat aircraft outside the United States. Where first?” she queried

“Start in here I suppose” Dad suggested.

I’m not really into planes and that sort of stuff but there was some pretty neat stuff, everything from bi-planes to jets. The heat of the exterior replaced the cool of the hanger; it was turning into a real scorcher!

“I can’t believe how many people are here”
“Yeah, to look at buses” I scoffed, “you can do that in Mansfield”
“Drew!” Dad admonished
“Yeah okay”
“Come on, I want to see the American stuff” Sabrina encouraged

We set off along the roadway; there were hundreds of people, families, bikers, nerds and us.

“So Gab, what’s normal now?” Brit asked
“Alright, you win”

We walked along amongst the crowds, apart from the setting it could have been anywhere on a Saturday. There were sales stalls, a couple of marquees, and lots of people! Despite Dad’s admonishment there were some people who were just strange.

Sab pointed to a couple in front.

“Check them out!”

It was hard to miss them; the bloke was dressed like a Teddy boy, lime green jacket, quiff and winkle pickers. The woman was wearing what I thought looked like something out of Grease! I guess they dress like it all the time.

There seemed to be a lot of nerds walking round with loads of cameras and carrier bags and jam jar glasses are obviously today’s fashion accessory! Dad dragged us off the main roadway to look at something in a small side building.

“Tell you what kids, why don’t you go and look on your own, we’ll meet back at the car at, lets say one?”
“Okay” I agreed
“See you later Mr B” Sab waved
“Later girls”

 

“Come on guys, there’s the American Hall” Sab enthused
“That skirts a bit short,” Mad pointed to a woman stood at one of the stalls”
“You wear shorter,” I pointed out
“Yeah but she must be at least forty”
“So?”
“Gabee!” all three girls exclaimed. So apparently there’s an age limit on short skirts!

We reached the impressive American hall and went inside.

 

“Wow!” was our group description. The main thing to meet our eyes was according to our new found military expert, Sab, a B52 Stratofortress, now that is big! There was all sorts of stuff, an F-111, a Flying Fortress, some sort of helicopter and a Mustang; I thought that was a car. A lot of them were hanging from the ceiling so you had to go up to the balcony to see them. Around the walls, various displays explained the American presence in the UK, what the planes did, well you know the sort of thing.

Once back outside we re-joined the throng. The first of several hundred assorted buses were parked opposite the hall, a selection of old London buses. None of us were particularly interested but we did a bit of people watching as we walked towards the Land Warfare Hall.

The Greaser couple were examining stuff on a stall and I noted with amusement a bloke of about thirty going along the rows of buses just writing something down in a notebook, probably the bus numbers. We passed a couple wearing loads of leather and with lots of piercings, I’m sure you could get a finger through the huge holes in the mans ears! It takes all sorts I guess. The woman with the short skirt seemed to be as bad as some of the geeks with their notebooks. I guess you only wear an outfit like that if you want to be noticed!

The next hall was pretty quiet but there were all sorts of neat stuff inside. There was a whole bit on jungle warfare as well as tanks and trucks, the reconstructions were really excellent. We got ourselves some drinks and sat on the bank outside looking out over the airfield where some old planes were sat waiting to take off.

“That ones called a Dragon” Sab pointed to a cream and brown plane taxiing along the concrete, “it does pleasure flights,” she read from the guide she’d picked up earlier.

“You wouldn’t get me in that” Brit stated
“It must be safe or they couldn’t fly it,” I pointed out
“Whatever, I’m not that keen anyway,” Brit answered.
“My uncle says that the only bit to worry about is landing” Sab told us
“Well yeah” I agreed
“Yeah, he said landing is a controlled crash”
“That’s really comforting!” Mad pointed out
“Come on lets have a walk around a bit,” Sab suggested

So we ambled aimlessly along the rows of buses. There were people taking photo’s, I think we annoyed a few by getting in their shots, mind you the nerds standing three inches from the information boards were probably worse! We looked at a couple of stands out of curiosity, photographs, hundreds of them, model buses, books and a bloke who looked like a tramp, you know big beard, long hair and worn out togs. The worst of it though was he stank of pee. Not just a mild old man smell, no this was like he bathed in the stuff – yeurgh! Even the other bus nerds kept away.

We headed back towards the runway and Sab took a few pictures of different planes before we made our way through a group of foreign buses, from Holland I think and back to the main roadway.

“Hey guys, over here!” Brit called out from one of the stalls.

We joined her at the makeshift tent that was selling all sorts of stuff.

“Look” she held up a strange bit of material, all crinkly and in a swirl of pastel colours.
“Neat” Mad agreed
“What is it” I had to ask
“Dur!” Brit stated
“It’s a top, Gab” Mad advised me
“Come on girls, three pounds each, two for a fiver, one size fits all” the stallholder made his pitch.
“I’ll wait over in the shade,” I told them when it became clear they were buying.
“Okay” Brit replied

 

“There you are Gab, we’re gonna find some toilets” Sab told me
“I got you one” Mad went on
“Maa-aad!”
“Come on girl, we’re all gonna wear them!” Brit advised me

Ten minutes later I was. Gone was yesterdays hero of the track, nope today my friends had me as a bona fida teen girl! What’s worse was that it’s pink! Urgh!

“Come on it’s nearly one” I mentioned to the others, feeling somewhat naked in this bizarre top.
“There’s that tart in the short skirt again” Mad pointed to the subject of her ire.
“Whatever” I noted as we walked towards her
“Guys!” Sab grabbed my arm
“What” I asked
“That’s no lady,” she stated
“No I said, she’s a tart!” Mad replied
“No! She’s not a she! That’s a man!”
“Get away” I retorted
“Where?” Brit asked adjusting her top
“Over there, by that stall”

We had to do a sort of loop to approach the stall.

“Oh my god” Mad exclaimed, “you’re right”
“Shush!” Brit told us, “He might hear us”

It was true, the wearer of the short skirt was a bloke, and there was no disguising it either! From this distance we could see that his chest was flat and the fishnet tights were doing little to disguise a pair of truly horrible looking pipe cleaner legs! What’s possibly worse than that was he was old enough to be someone’s grandfather.

“Come on guys, stop staring,” I admonished

I dragged them away, Sab kept looking back

“I can’t believe it,” she said again
“What a perv!” Brit stated
“I think it’s kind of sad,” Mad told us
“Huh?” I managed
“Well like he obviously wants to dress like a woman and everyone just laughs at him”
“He obviously doesn’t have any friends either,” I pointed out
“How’d you figure that?” Brit enquired
“Well any friend would tell him to wear something a bit less tarty”
“For someone with no fashion sense yourself, that’s pretty profound girl” Sab mentioned.
“That’s what you lot are for, to keep me from my fashion mistakes, like this” I plucked at the ridiculous top I was wearing.
“There’s your Dad” Brit pointed to where my old man was sat at a picnic bench
“Hi girls, have a good time?”
“Yes thanks Mr B, do you like our tops?” Brit asked
“Erm, very nice” he gave me a look and I just shrugged, “did you go on Concorde?”
“I didn’t even see it,” I told him
“Girls?”
“That’d be pretty neat” plane spotter Sab agreed.

Dad led the way to where a separate enclosure held a couple of old passenger planes including a Concorde. There was a separate charge of fifty pence each and we joined the queue to walk through the famous supersonic airliner. It seems so small, dwarfed by the Tri-Star parked next to it. Eventually we reached the cabin and shuffled through, this thing really is small, Dad could almost touch both sides when he stretched his arms out and the bloke in front had to duck his head to walk through. It was like a bus inside really, nothing like I expected. As we’d paid, we went through the Tri-Star and another even older plane before heading back towards the car.

“Lets eat here, it’ll be easier than in Cambridge” Dad suggested

So that’s what we did, in the ‘Officers Mess’ no less, well that’s what it used to be!

“There’s that couple in fifties stuff” Mad pointed out as we finally headed for the car.
“Nice car” I added
“’57 Bel Air” Britney supplied much to everyone else’s surprise
“How d’you know that?” Mad queried
“My Dad’s friend had one last year, he deals in old autos, there’s big bucks in something like that”

 

So I suppose you want to know about Cambridge now eh? You and me! We left Duxford and followed the signs towards the city centre but before we got there we ground to a halt.

“What’s up Dad?”
“Not sure, the engines going but there’s no drive”

 

Maddy Bell 16.05.04

 

 

It was with a mixture of relief and exhaustion when we all piled indoors at teatime. No time in Cambridge and an unwanted ride in a car transporter! Damn car, the AA only took a couple of minutes to diagnose the problem, a broken timing belt, not a fix at the roadside hence our ride home in a less than comfortable truck. At least we got back at a reasonable time.

Nothing was gonna faze Dad today though.

“Anyone fancy Italian? We’ll take the camper and go up to Worksop”
“Whatever,” to be truthful you could have served me anything; I was hungry, not fussy.
“Girls?”
“Yes please” Brit enthused
“Well if we’re eating out, I’m changing,” I told everyone
“Now she decides to be a girl” Sab rolled her eyes

 

An hour later we were in Salvatore’s and Stefani was busy taking orders. Much to Brit’s disgust, Dad’s relief and my comfort I was in a borrowed pair of Jules jeans, well those hipsters to be precise and a less than flattering baggy top, Mad however insisted I wear those damn shoes from Crystal Peaks. The others had raided both Brit and Debs clothing collections to emerge casual but sophisticated, their words not mine!

We had an excellent meal, I had these dumpling things, well that was what it said in the menu anyway, they were more like football ravioli! Stefani and Guido were very attentive and I’m sure the ice cream didn’t get on the bill, Dad’s not one to argue with a gift horse! After all the excitement this weekend I was ready to hit the sack as soon as we got home after dropping the Peters contingent off.

Of course Mum chose that precise moment to call, so bed was delayed by an hour. What did Mum say? Not much. No, she got a pedal stroke by pedal stroke version of yesterdays race, the after party and the short version of today.

“I’m so proud of you son,” she sounded like she was about to blub
“Erm”
“And when I told the girls, well, anyway they all send their love”
“Tell them thanks”
“I will, look I have to go Drew, speak to you during the week”
“Bye Mum”
“Night Drew”

 

Urgh! Monday morning. Start of the last full week of the summer hols! Yep we’ve been off six weeks and next Tuesday we start our third year at Warsop College! Whoopee! So today our American visitors are off to London for the day and finally I might find out what really happened at the Morgan’s last week!

“So champ, you recovered,” Mad asked when I met her mid morning.
“Just about I suppose, Mum rang after we dropped you off so I didn’t get to bed that early”
“Ah! Poor Drewbie” she pulled me into a hug
“Give over, people will see”
“So?”
“So!” I think I made my point.

We chatted about this and that and we were soon outside the salon.

 

“So Rhod, what’s the deal with Dan?” I asked as we plonked ourselves down under a tree in the little excuse for a park we have.
“Yeah, we thought the shit was gonna fly” Mad agreed
“Well I guess I can tell you lot, you’ll find out soon enough I suppose”
“What?” Bernie asked
“Well you know what happened” he started, recapping for Ally and Bernie’s benefit

“Dan came back downstairs obviously with something on his mind. So he started ‘Okay, if Rhod’s not back why is his case upstairs and why is there a dress on his bed’. ‘You went in my room!’ I realised too late what he’d done.
‘Now Dan, we can explain’ Mum started, Dan’s face was like thunder, really purple, ‘You’re a queer! I thought there was something funny about you!’
Mum suggested that you lot leave but Dan kept at it, ‘Why don’t you take your pansy girlfriend with you!’ Dan shouted. ‘Hey ease up Danno’ Sab suggested. ‘And you can shut up black trash!’ ‘Dan!’ Mum screamed”

“That was pretty scary” Mad admitted
“Well anyway, I ran up to my room and well I er, okay so I cried”
“Hey you were upset” Ally put an arm around his shoulders.
“Well anyway, I heard Mum yelling and Dan answering back then he stomped up to his room and slammed the door. I guess Mum got on the phone then, afterwards she came up to my room and she just hugged me for a while. I mean, I know you guys would find out sometime, and I’d already told Al” he squeezed her hand, “but Dan, it was so unexpected, the way he flew off the handle like that.”
“I suppose we’ve sort of got used to Gaby and you did pretend for the dance,” Bernie told him
“Yeah, not everyone can cope with people who are different, which reminds me, we saw this right weirdo yesterday” I started
“Drew!” Mad admonished
“Oh right. Go on Rhod”
“Well anyway that Miss Bell came round a bit later.”
“She’s pretty cool” Bernie mentioned
“Yeah well, Mum told her about me, about Mfanwy then explained what happened earlier. So Miss Bell went upstairs to talk to Dan, I don’t know what she said to him, she didn’t shout or anything.”
“And?” Mad encouraged

“Well when they came back down, Dan was real quiet but he apologised to Mum and me. I think Miss Bell told him the basics. So anyway he’s been sort of okay all week, not like before but all right I guess. I think he’s on some sort of probation”
“Wow, I miss all the action” Bernie stated
“Mark my words, you didn’t want to be there,” I pointed out
“It’s a good job he hasn’t found out about Gaby here” Rhod mentioned
“Why? Like I know that would be bad” Mad wasn’t making much sense
“Well he thinks you’re some sort of super hero, he keeps going on about Drew this and Drew that.” Rhod explained
“At least someone thinks I’m a boy,” I pointed out, “you should see what I had to wear yesterday! And you can stop smirking Madeline Peters!”
“Sorry Drew, you look so…”
“Cute” Al suggested
“I wasn’t gonna say that, but it’ll do, cute when your angry”
“Maa-aad”
“Okay” she sat back to avoid my swipe.

It seemed more than a little odd to be talking about Dan like this, after all before last weeks incident we’d all been getting on really well, especially Dan and Rhod! I suppose that’s what makes this whole situation even weirder. How would any of us have reacted? I suppose we all take what Mum calls the ‘moral high ground’ in these situations but I for one think I understand Dan’s reaction even if I don’t agree with the sentiment, I’ve spent far too long this year as Gaby for that! I kind of feel a bit sorry for him really.

 

“I said, are you coming back for tea?” Mad finally broke into my reverie some time later
“Er yes I guess”
“See you in the morning!” Bernie stated
“Bye Drew” Rhod added
“Bye guys” Ally waved
“Yeah see ya” Mad replied
“Later” I concluded as I joined Mad for the walk back across town
“You were quiet back there?”
“Um yeah I s’pose. I was thinking”
“What about?”
“Dan”
“Huh!”
“Well, don’t you think it’s strange how everyone has been bitching about Dan but no one has mentioned what Rhod, I mean Mfanwy has been doing. I mean I know Dan over reacted,”
“You’re not kidding!” Mad interrupted
“Okay but what if everyone thinks like that? Or nearly everyone. I mean it is Rhod doing something a bit, er weird”
“You mean that Dan’s a victim, it wasn’t his fault?”
“Maad! You know I didn’t mean that but I reckon most of the boys and a lot of the girls at school would react the same.”
“Humph! I suppose you’re probably right, still it’s not right”

 

Well Tuesday we all got together, well everyone except Rhod and Dan, at Mad’s place and I had to suffer the indignity of cheerleader practice! I had to wear that damn badminton kit again and I felt a right twat! I suppose it wasn’t so bad once you got the hang of it, the Americans seemed so enthusiastic and ‘my’ gang were getting reasonably proficient even if I wasn’t!

Of course, as you’ve come to expect, Tuesday is Cuckney and this week it’s the last one of the season. Mad came over to my place after tea so that we could ride out; her Mum was coming later with Sabrina, picking up Dad and Brit on the way as our car is still at the garage!

We took our time riding out and got there in good time, just as well because there were already over twenty riders signed on.

“Hiya kids, ready for a last bash?”
“Yeah” I agreed
“I didn’t really get a chance to talk Saturday, but well done, your mum must be made up!” John stated as I sorted out our numbers.
“Yeah she was pretty chuffed when I told her” I agreed
“Have a good ride tonight you two, are your parents coming tonight?”
“Mum’s driving out later with Mr B”
“I need to talk to them, if you could let them know”
“Yeah sure” I agreed.
“We went down to ‘our’ bench, I got a few back slaps and so on on the way.

“I wonder what John wants with the olds?” I mused while Mad attacked my legs with the baby oil.
“Sounded a bit mysterious” Mad offered, “there you go, my turn”

We swapped places and I had the pleasure of rubbing oil onto my girlfriend’s smooth legs!

The Peters car passed us as we rode up to the start so the message passing would have to wait. As usual Mad was drawn in front of me but only two minutes this week. I watched her set off down the hill; she was already developing a good style even after so few rides.

“Twenty three”

That’s me; I managed to miss my minuteman starting.

“Good luck young un, fifteen seconds”
“Thanks” I clicked into my pedals with a firm ‘Click!’
“Ten…five, four, three, two, one, go!” and I was off on the last Tuesday ten of the year.

It was a typical late summer evening, bright but not too warm with a light breeze stirring from the west. Dad and the others gave me a cheer as I passed the finish area and I settled into a comfortable cadence. I’m sure I could see Mad as I dropped towards Lady Margaret’s Hall but I lost her from view on the stretch up past the garden centre.

I burst out of the trees onto the long straight and I could see not only twenty-two and Mad but a couple more in front of her. The gaps were closing and Mad was passed by my minuteman on the last climb before the drag up to the turn. By where we passed, I reckon I was only about forty seconds behind Mad and under a minute behind twenty-two.

Out of the turn I wanged it into the twelve and started chasing Mad down with a vengeance. I actually caught up to her as we dropped towards the long straight again.

“Dig in Mad”
“Huh!”

I eased past and concentrated on getting up to my minuteman, now only fifty metres ahead of me. It was only when I checked it was safe to pass him that I discovered that Mad was managing to keep almost apace with me. Sugar! I need to step on the gas! When the road turned slightly at the end of the straight, the breeze just gave me a little kick and Mad’s elastic broke! Two miles to go! There was a good chance I’d catch the two riders I could see in front so I dug a bit deeper in that hope.

 

I concentrated on following the white line and barely felt the draft from the artic going the other way. My endeavours paid off as I caught both of them within metres of where I passed Mad last week. I settled back into the saddle for the last downhill then I was there!

“Twen’ three!” I stopped pedalling but I was still nearly at the Cuckney sign before I got turned around. I saw Mad finish; she was in front of twenty-two! Strewth!

I’d barely collapsed onto the verge when Mad pulled up with a Cheshire cat grin on her face.

“Good ride Mad”
“I enjoyed that,” she declared joining me on the grass.
“You two okay?” Sab asked
“Uh huh” Mad allowed
“So what time thing did you do then?” Brit enquired
“Dunno, I forgot to switch the computer off at the finish”
“Where’re Mum and Mr B?” Mad enquired
“Talking to that John guy? Hey we’re going to that pub again!” Sab enthused

 

Although Mad and I were riding, that’s what we did after the olds returned tight-lipped from their chat with John. Oh our times? I got 24.12 and Mad finished with 27.04, I really am gonna have to watch my back! By the time we got back to the Bond residence the light was going and it was starting to feel quite chilly.

Well the rest of the week followed a similar pattern to the previous couple. On Wednesday we all got to go to Hull for the day, we visited the Aquarium and the Transport Museum before coming home via the Humber Bridge, which used to be the longest suspension bridge in the world. Thursday we were all set to go to Meadowhall again but Brit was feeling a bit off colour so we just went down to Mansfield instead.

It’s perhaps just as well we missed Meadowhall on Thursday because on Friday Mrs P took us to Manchester, that is me, Brit, Mad and Sab. Well you know me and shopping, I hate it, well mostly! Of course I had to go as Gaby, Brit insisted that her ‘girlfriend’ make some effort. Luckily or not, Mad had returned the bag of Gaby’s stuff on Tuesday so at least I could wear ‘my’ own stuff! I think Brit was mollified, if she wasn’t, tuff!

 

So that brings us to Saturday. Remember I said that the car was sick? Well apparently it was very sick! The girls went off to Worksop and I joined Dad on that bizarre ritual called ‘looking for a new car’! I should point out here that whilst we are a two-car family, the camper is not exactly in its first flush of youth and Dad’s car is nearly ten years old.

New was out of the question but Dad reckoned something about three years old was do-able. After the first two dealers I realised that the make doesn’t matter, one saloon is much like any other, they might look different on the outside but inside, well who can see the outside? Of course I had my eye on some of the flashier machines but Dad was more practical. Today we were looking; next week will be buying, while I’m away in Germany.

By the time we got home, Dad was veering towards a people carrier while I favoured a bright yellow MG. As Dad put it, when I’m paying! Ah well.

 

After last weekend’s excitement, my race excursion this weekend is a bit more mundane, a 25 miler over at Lincoln. Oh yeah, sorry if I’m rabbiting on a bit but there’s not really much been going on this week, not that would interest anyone else! Where was I? Oh yeah the twenty-five. Well when Dad mentioned what time we were leaving in the morning, the girls all decided on a rain check, not that I can blame them, six o’clock starts are not exactly my favourite either.

“You all right Drew?” Dad asked as we climbed away from Markham Moor roundabout
“Just tired”
“I did tell you to go to bed earlier”
“But the girls…”
“You knew you were getting up early so don’t try blaming anyone else”
“I wasn’t! And we’re gonna be well early” I pouted
“You’ve got a long ride to the start remember”
“Couldn’t we just park near the start?”
“Hmm, we’ll see”

Well common sense prevailed and the camper found a slot in a lay-by about a quarter of a mile from the start. Dad walked down for my number and I grabbed a few minutes shut eye while he was gone. After my PB the other week I can expect better start numbers and my number 31 put me in the third rank in this mornings full 120 rider field. I suppose you want to know how come? Oh alright, well to start with the fastest riders start on ‘0’s, the fastest rider is usually on the last ‘0’, so today that’s 120, the scratch man. With me so far? Well, the second rank riders then get the ‘5’s in the same way, then the 1’s, 6’s and so on. The only break from that is that number one is traditionally from the promoting club. Mum once told me that it was in case there was a marshal missing, I guess it makes sense.

So anyway, I got kitted up and headed away from the start for a warm up, Dad had the turbo in the van but I prefer to use the road if I can. I got back to Dad with fifteen to go; stripped to my skinsuit then Dad pushed me along to the start, arriving with just two minutes to go.

 

“Go!”

I was off, the first leg on the A57 follows the Foss Dyke, the old Roman canal from Lincoln to the Trent, and there’s not much shelter! This morning I was pushing into a stiff breeze and although the road is pretty level, it’s also quite straight so no wind relief. Over Saxilby bridge and the drop back to canal level relieved the tedium. Lincoln Cathedral in the distance slowly grew and by the time the road left the waterway I was making good inroads into twenty-nine, starting two minutes ahead.

At the Lincoln bypass the course turned south onto the wide semi dual carriageway. I felt good and I took 29’s scalp before the next roundabout. Riders coming the other way looked to be having an easier time of things, I hoped so as a glance at the clock showed thirty-one minutes and I wasn’t at the turn yet. Mind you the return leg is nearly a mile shorter!

I spotted number 30 as I approached the turn, I think he was quite a bit up, still we’ll see. Even at just after eight there was a lot of traffic, I reckon the boot sale that I saw signposted was to blame. Well anyway, the result was me having to nearly stop on the island, but after a quick curse I was back on my way. I checked my time where I saw my minuteman; he was almost two minutes up! Ah well. It certainly was easier going this way and my 24 mph out rose to 26 or there abouts.

A rider that I guessed was 28 came into view; I was surprised to find it was actually 27 when I caught him just before the A57. The computer was showing a gradually improving average, 24.9mph now with a little over four miles to go, looking good! As the road swung back alongside the canal I could see a string of riders in front and I dug in with renewed vigour. Three to go and fifty-two minutes gone, it’s do-able, that is I think I’ll get sub hour again!

After such a flat course, the Saxilby bridge seemed like a mountain looming ahead but I just dropped a sprocket then changed back up on the drop to the finish. Damn forgot to shout my number! The computer told the story, not a PB but a pretty handy fifty-eight! Phew! I made my way to the recreation and sports ground where our camper now sat but with no sign of Dad, must be in the hall. I rode over and propped my steed against the wall where several other machines were parked.

“Excuse me. Miss!”

I turned reflexively at the intense voice.

“Can you take your shoes off, the cleats damage the floor” the woman was talking to me!
“Er okay” I stooped to undo the Velcro fastenings, then padded over to where Dad was appraising the results.
“Good ride Drew, 58.50, where’s your bike?”
“Just outside, I’m knackered” I plonked myself onto a plastic chair, no comfort but at least I was sat.

Not being in a particular hurry this morning, we hung about, well I got changed, the bike was locked in the camper and we chewed the cud with riders and supporters waiting for the times to be radioed over from the finish. As the morning wore on my time dropped down the league from fourth when I finished to eighteenth when the last fast man got home. Not bad, not bad at all! The winner? Well he beat me by over five minutes with 53.24.

 

Instead of going straight back over Dunford Bridge, Dad took us up to Gainsborough and over the river there for a late breakfast at Beckingham. Once we were sat, under that picture of Mum, Dad started with the twenty questions.

“Britney and Deborah really do think you’re a girl don’t they?”
“They seem to” I agreed, “I’ve no idea where they got it from, well like originally”
“You realise there might be repercussions down the line?”
“There you go lass, beans and egg on toast and full English for your Dad” the waitress plonked our plates down.
“Er thanks” I stammered

Once we were alone again, Dad went on.

“If they think you’re a girl now, what’s going to happen when you go over there? I’m not always going to be around to help”
“I dunno, we’ll get it sorted by then”
“How? They won’t believe me or you, I can only see one option”
“No way!” I stated as the penny dropped
“I agree, but I can’t see that they’ll be convinced any time soon”
“I guess not. At least it’s a bit better than the truth”
“The truth?”
“Yeah, you know, me dressing as a girl”
“At least I’d still have a son that way”
“You do now!” I declared, “well sort of”

 

The rest of Sunday was less controversial, well it seemed Bond HQ was designated cheer centre for the day so we got back to a houseful of scantily clad girls. As Darla and Amy didn’t know that I’m Gaby I managed to stay in boy mode, even if I did have to join in with Brits terror brigade!

Monday arrived far too quickly; the last day of the big hols was here!

I think all the olds had similar ideas, Dad had us cleaning the house and doing the washing. Memories of last year came back; Mum blew her top when I presented her with my still muddy PE kit to wash at eight o’clock the night before I needed it. I mean it had only been mouldering in my bag for three months!

All of the gang, and our guests met up to go to the cinema in the afternoon, even Dan and Rhod who seemed to have arrived at a slightly uneasy truce. So that was that. The hols are finished, tomorrow it’s school.

 

It was a strange start to the school year for us. For starters we are now officially middle school, third years, we get to sit further back in the assembly hall and there are loads of frightened little first years. Not only that but Mr Wood has arranged that the Americans, join our classes for the last two weeks of their stay, so that’s like this week and next. Although small in number they stuck out like a sore thumb, their ‘uniforms’ being somewhat different from the other nine hundred and odd students arriving for the first day of the 2002/2003 school year.

Of course today was mostly taken up by sorting out timetables, presentations by the teaching staff and generally getting back to grips with school life. Tomorrow we have a big assembly then it’s into lessons proper. I’m exhausted now, the girls are watching MTV, Dad’s poring over the used car ad’s and I’ve just put the phone down with Gran. She’s coming over on Wednesday afternoon so she can spend the night; our flight is at eleven thirty Thursday morning from Luton!

 

Maddy Bell 20.05.04

 

 

For me, Wednesday was a day of expectancy. Like I said yesterday, it’s a strange start to the school year! Mind you it started with a major embarrassment session, I told you about today’s big assembly? Woodsy started off with the usual welcome speech with a special welcome for the exchange students. Then this years new staff members, there are always a few, this year we’ve got ten new teachers!

Then of course, true to form, he started on a spiel about school expectations, which of course linked into sporting prowess. I mean I was expecting this but it still made me squirm much to my mate’s amusement. Yes I’d brought honour to the school and all that stuff but he didn’t have to make me go up onto the stage did he?

“Come on Drew over here,” I stood next to Mr Wood looking out over a sea of faces, I was breaking out in a nervous sweat, “this, ladies and gentlemen, is Drew Bond, not much to look at eh?” a few nervous giggles came from the newbies, “well looks can be deceiving. In fact Drew here is a talented sportsman, as many of you already know his mother is a champion cyclist and Drew here is following in her wheel marks. Just over three weeks ago, after helping a fellow competitor, he won the North of England championship” there was some polite applause.

“Of course, our school has had regional champions before, swimmers, runners, even our rugby team. But Drew here didn’t stop there, no indeed. Ten days ago he rode the National championship event in London. After what I’m told was a very mature ride, Mr Bond here held off all the competition to cross the line in first place. So ladies and gentlemen I give you Drew Bond, this years first sporting ribbon and this schools first national champion!”

He presented me with the ribbon; well actually it’s more like a badge, a bar in the school colours with ‘2002-2003’ across it. He stood back then and started the applause, mostly polite but a few of my peers started cheering, I heard Brit’s voice, “Go on girl!” I hope no one else heard what she said!

Well after all that it was time to get down to schoolwork. Nothing else of any note happened during the day and home time came around soon enough. Paul had agreed to copy his notes for me, Clive was still moping about Gaby much to Brit’s amusement! We, that is me and Brit, went straight home, we’ve got some packing to do!

 

Dad’s car was on the drive when we got there, fixed but still down for replacement! Once inside the door I got a surprise.

“Gran!” I dropped my bag and rushed over for a hug
“And how’s the famous Drew Bond then?”
“Great Gran, I thought you were coming later?”
“I was but your Dad had to go to Manchester so I met him there, we only just got here, so,” she released me, “aren’t you going to introduce me?”
“Oh sorry Gran, this is Britney. Brit this is my Gran”
“Hello Britney”
“Hi Mrs Bond”
Gran chuckled, “no I’m not a Bond, I’m Drew’s Mum’s mum, Granny Peters”
“Er so you’re like Mad’s Gran too?”
“No, no. That’s my sister Mary”
“Ah you’re in” Dad greeted us, “okay you two, change, homework, dinner will be a proper sit down tonight”
“Yes Dad” I sighed, “come on Brit”

 

Gran cooked us a great meal then afterwards while the girls and Gran talked I slipped upstairs to pack. There was a knock on my door a few minutes later.

“Come in”

Dad came in and sat on my bed.

“Excited?”
“You bet”
“You didn’t say that Mr Wood gave you sports colours”
“I sort of forgot with Gran here” I showed Dad the pin on my blazer lapel
“Well done. Are you all set for tomorrow?”
“I’ve got my camera and passport in my backpack, I’ve just got to pack my clothes”
“Just don’t forget anything eh? In fact I want to see your bag when you’ve finished”
“Yes Dad” well I haven’t exactly got a good track record with packing have I?

Dad left leaving me to sort myself out. A bit later Brit came in.

“I like your Gran, she’s nothing like mine”
“Yeah she’s pretty cool”
“So you taking skirts and stuff?”
“Nope! Shorts and trousers”
“Why not Gab, I’m sure your Gran would like to see you in a dress occasionally”

I don’t think so!

“Er she’s cool with Drew”
“Well I still think you should. I’d better go and pack myself, see you in a bit”
“Yeah”

 

We left at eight thirty next morning after Dad had triple checked our bags, passports and tickets, in the end Gran took control of everything! As we set off I just hoped Dad’s car would get us there! It’s a fair ride down to Luton and the motorway was pretty busy, trucks, cars, coaches, three lanes of traffic all moving sinuously south. Finally though we turned off and followed the signs to the airport up on top of the hill.

You’ve all been to an airport right? Well Luton is not exactly stylish, most of the planes using it are short haul to Europe, budget airlines and holiday charters. Indeed that’s why we’re here. Although we are going to Germany we are actually flying to Switzerland! I’ll explain later.

Dad joined us for a coffee before we checked in at the EasyJet desk. I joined Dad for a toilet stop; on the way out he pulled me to one side.

“There’s a hundred Euros here,” he put an envelope in my hand, ”behave yourself and try not to embarrass your Mum eh? And give your Mum my love”
“Yes Dad, thanks” I waved the envelope.

We returned to where Brit and Gran were waiting.

“Well take care, have a good time” Dad gave me a hug and Gran a kiss on the cheek. “See you on Sunday!”

With that and a wave he left.

“Okay then you two, lets go” Gran instructed.

 

We walked through to departures and joined the queue, first for passports then security and we bypassed the shops to go straight through to the waiting area. A short impatient wait later and our flight was called, we were on our way! Somehow we managed to get all three of us in one row of seats, no one had a specific booked seat so it was a free for all!

Me and Brit were so busy talking that we were only alerted to the impending take off by the sudden thrust from the engines. We even missed the safety demonstration! Brit and I both peered out of the tiny window as we ascended over the Home Counties, I pointed out the M25 and distant London. Then the seat belt light went out and now above the clouds we settled back to read the in flight magazine while Gran read her book.

“Okay ladies?” the flight attendant asked
“Yes thanks” Brit replied
“Back to school eh girls? Have a nice flight” and then she was gone
“What was that about?” Brit whispered
“No idea” I turned to Gran, “what did she mean Gran, back to school, we’re flying to Zurich?”
“I guess with Britney being American she thought you were going to boarding school in Switzerland. Lots of diplomats and so on send their kids to school there”
“Kewl!” Brit purred
“Not sure I fancy that” I stated

 

An hour later we started to drop down over Switzerland then with a bump we were down. We waited for our bags to appear on the conveyor thing, Gran’s was first to turn up then Brit’s. Then we waited. And waited. And waited. Bum! Yep it sure looks like my case has gone missing. So Gran went to find someone official, thirty minutes later it was confirmed, my bag never made the flight. Sugar! We filled out the forms and stuff, nothing we could do about it now. I’m glad there wasn’t anything important in the case, I nearly put my medals in there this morning, Gran insisted she have them instead. Always listen to Gran!

 

It was one o’clock local time when we cleared immigration and started following the signs down escalators and across bridges towards the railway station. Mum had already sent us the train tickets so we had a few minutes to kill before going down to the platform.

There were only a few small stores in the plaza, which we peeked into before Gran exclaimed.

“Ah good, we can get a sandwich or something” she pointed to an open shop front with ‘Migros’ over the entrance
“What’s that?” I asked
“By the looks of it, some sort of food shop, anyway they’ve got sandwiches, I’ve seen someone coming out with one” Gran informed us. Brit and I dragged our cases along behind her into what did indeed turn out to be a supermarket.

Why the sudden food fixation? Well it was a budget flight and there was no in flight food and the drinks cost a fortune! So now it’s fair to say we’re all famished and my stomach has been rumbling all through the airport! Did I say supermarket? Well Sainsbury’s it wasn’t, no it was more like the grocer in Warsop except for the stuff on offer. Gran cooed and aawed as she led the way round.

“Er Gran” Brit started, Gran told her to call her that, “What time is the train?”
“Oh sorry kids, come on I’ll just get some fruit and we’ll go”

We added some apples to our sandwiches and we were soon on the escalator down to the platform. Not a minute too soon as our train whooshed into the subterranean station.

“Cool train” I mentioned as we headed for a door. Well compared to the rattley things at home it was certainly different being double decked. Brit led the way upstairs and we were soon sat in facing seats. It wasn’t crowded, everyone had a seat and we were soon speeding out into the northern Swiss countryside.

“I thought Switzerland was all mountains,” Brit mentioned
“Apparently not” Gran agreed.

We watched the rolling countryside flash past the window and when a young guy came through with refreshments, Gran got us some drinks and we started on our late lunch. We had a brief stop at a place called Winterthur then another shortly after. Gran was back reading her book while Brit and I continued watching Switzerland flash past.

Another stop at a station where the yellow buses were clearly waiting for the train. Gran checked her watch.

“Must be nearly there kids”
“Germany?” I asked
Gran chuckled, “no, we’ve got a ferry to catch yet”
“Ferry?” Brit asked
“Yes, Jenny said it takes about an hour, Germany is on the other side”
“So the train goes on the ferry?” I asked
“No! Apparently the railway station is right next to the ferry”
“Kewl!” Brit stated

Our train pulled to a halt and we descended into the afternoon sunshine of Romanshorn, Mum was right, the platform was right next to the little harbour. Brit had us pose under the station board and a bemused railway worker took our picture. Then we followed the signs around the quay to wait for the ferry to come in. We didn’t wait long and with a clatter of steel against steel the little ferry docked and unshipped its cargo of trucks and cars. Then with a wave from the deck hand we joined the assorted cyclists, vehicles and foot passengers on board.

 

We got ourselves settled on one of the outside seats and with more clangs and bangs we started the last leg of today’s journey. We watched fascinated as we passed a waterside park with what looked like giant dandelion clocks, I think they were some sort of fountains but you couldn’t really tell from the ferry.

“Wow it’s a big river,” Brit stated as we cleared the Swiss shoreline
“It’s not a river Brit, this is Lake Constance” Gran informed us
“This map hasn’t got it on,” I told them, brandishing a leaflet I picked up at Romanshorn, “it’s just got something called Bodensee”
“I think that’s what the locals call it” Gran suggested
“Yeah it says that Boden thing up there,” Brit pointed to a board on the side of the cabin.
“There’s your mountains Britney” Gran pointed behind us

Sure enough, back behind us we could see what we couldn’t when we were actually in Switzerland, the Alps marching across the southern horizon. I’m sure there was snow on some of the more distant peaks, well they looked white anyway! The afternoon was glorious, the views, the weather, out here in the middle of the lake, well it was well fine! Brit and I both sat drinking in the view, watching the sailing boats as they skipped over the almost smooth waters.

 

“Ooh Drew, have you brought your phone? your Mum said to ring when we got to the ferry”
“Yeah hang on” I delved into my backpack and found my phone, “what’s the number?”

Gran passed me a slip of paper and I keyed in the digits then hit dial. It rang about three times before a voice sounded at the other end.

“Hallo” the man said rather non committaly
“Erm sorry I think I got the wrong number” I said oblivious to whether he could understand English
“You want Jenny?” he asked
“Er yes” I stumbled with the words
“Moment” I heard a shout ‘Jenny! Telefon!’

A minute later there was a familiar voice at the other end.

“Hello, sie möchten mich?”
“Mum, it’s me, we’re here!”
“Drew, where are you?”
“In the middle of the lake”
“Okay, look when you get off the ferry, get a taxi to the Hotel Ibis, it’s next to the main railway station. You had a good trip?”
“Yeah great”
“I’m gonna have to go, I’ll see you in a few minutes in the hotel reception. Bye luv”
“Bye Mum”
“Well?” Gran asked
“She said to get a taxi when we get off, it’s the Hotel Ibis”

“That must be where we’re going” Brit pointed ahead to where a town was gradually appearing.
“Guess so,” I agreed
“Friedrichshafen” Gran told us

We watched as the ferry closed in on the harbour, from here at least it looks like a nice place.

 

The ferry landed with a clank and we joined the other foot passengers waiting to disembark. I hadn’t given it any thought but this was a border control.

“Pass bitte?” the uniformed official called out.
“What was that?” Brit asked
I spotted what he was about, “passports Gran”
“Oh right” she dug into her handbag for our documents as we shuffled up the ramp. As we reached the front of the queue she passed them to the official.

He flipped them open, taking a moment to check Brit’s visa. He looked a bit puzzled as he looked at mine but returned the paperwork to us.

“Have a pleasant stay ladies”
“Thank you,” Gran mentioned, “where can we get a taxi please?”
“Just at the end of the building here” he pointed inland.
“Thank you”
“Danke shun” I offered, hey I’m not exactly bi-lingual!
“My pleasure” he replied in perfect English.

 

We walked in the indicated direction, there was a taxi sat on the rank and we were soon headed along to our hotel. The journey took about ten minutes, mostly due to the number of traffic lights and we were met by Mum at the kerb.

“Hiya champ, give your Mum a hug”

Well you think I needed an invitation! Gran was included as well; I broke off after a minute.

“Mum, this is Britney Walters, Brit this is my Mum”
“Nice to finally meet you Mrs Bond, Drew has told me all about you”
“Not all I hope Britney, well lets get you settled in, where’s your case Drew?”

 

Later in the evening the four of us walked along to the town through the lakeside park where we joined loads of other diners at a table outside one of the restaurants. This is just so cool! Mum had lent me a pair of jeans and found a plain t-shirt for me to wear; first thing in the morning we’d do a quick emergency shop.

Mum and I caught up over dinner, Brit was agog at some of Mums stories and I could see that she was definitely more impressed by the real thing than my second hand version.

“I’d best warn you, I’ve got some work to do tomorrow afternoon and for some of Saturday but I’m all yours the rest of the time. And Drew, Kat is coming down with Maria tomorrow night.”
“Great, did I tell you about Kat Brit?”
“I don’t think so”

So I did over dessert while Mum and Gran did the mother daughter thing.

 

“Your Mum is so cool!” Brit told me as we walked through the gathering gloom back to the hotel.
“Yep, I told you she was”
“Er Drew? Gaby?”
“Hmmm?” I looked out across the inland sea
“I’ve an admission to make”
“You’re an alien from Alpha Centauri” I joked
“Don’t be daft! No, I erm, okay I packed some of your stuff in my case.”
“What?”
“Look sorry, but I packed some of your skirts and stuff, I thought your Mum would like to see you looking like a girl for a change. I’m sorry Gab”

I sighed deeply and kicked at a stone

“You okay Drew?” Mum asked from behind us
“Yeah” I allowed
“Sorry Ms Bond, I just told Gab that I’ve brought some of her skirts and stuff, save you going shopping in the morning”
“Gaby?” Gran queried
“It’s alright Mum, I’ll explain later. Thanks Britney, I don’t know what’s going on here but I’m sure ‘Gaby’ here appreciates your help. Don’t you?”
“Yes Mum, er thanks Brit it was very thoughtful,” I added with a slight edge to my voice.

 

Mum must have given Gran some sort of explanation because when I appeared at breakfast in a denim skirt and sun top she never said a word. Me, I was spitting feathers, I did not envisage spending this trip in skirts. It’s so unfair!

After breakfast we crossed to the bus stands to catch the free bus to the exhibition centre. Mum distributed our show paperwork and passes, trade, access all areas – kewl! I couldn’t believe the traffic when we got out near the show grounds, the bus got priority from the policemen directing traffic and we were soon joining the crowds waiting for the doors to open.

There seemed to be a murmur around us and I thought I’d been rumbled! But no it wasn’t me that was causing the whispering, no it was Mum! Within minutes we were surrounded by loads of clamouring fans, even in her casual clothes Mum had been recognised. It was only the opening of the gates that finally allowed us to escape.

“Is it always like that Jen?” Gran asked
“No, Mum. Sometimes it’s worse” Mum joked
“I never realised you were so famous luv”
“Infamous more like. So where do you want to start? I need to be in Hall B3 at twelve but I’m yours till then.”
“How about A1 and work our way along kids” Gran suggested
“Er yeah okay” I allowed

 

You ever been to one of these things? Talk about overawed; everywhere you looked there were bikes, bike bits and so on, fourteen halls plus an outside area, bike heaven! We walked around checking out all sorts of stuff. Several times Mum was caught for autographs, the weirdest thing is that apart from the guys at the restaurant in Worksop, no one gives Mum a second look back at home!

By the time Mum left us for her meeting we’d seen three halls so we piled into the courtyard and joined a queue for frites and sausage. We sat with the crowds already having an early lunch and rested our feet.

“Come here Gaby, your shoulders are burning a bit, I’ve got some lotion in my bag” Gran told me
“Thanks Gran”

She slipped the straps off my shoulders and rubbed the soothing cream in.

“You okay Britney?”
“Yes thanks ma’am”
“So you two ready for some more?”

 

We returned to the halls, I was collecting brochures left right and centre; I was stuffing the latest batch into my pack when I felt a tug on my elbow.

“Hmm?”
“Cute outfits” Brit pulled my arm to get my attention.
“Sooner them than me” I allowed spotting the two girls handing out flyers. Brit chuckled at that, after all I was not exactly dressed that differently.

They were certainly getting plenty of attention from the mostly male show goers. I guess that was the idea.

“Frowline?” the guy made his way past when I stepped out of the way.
“Come on Gab, get with it. We doing the fashion show?”
“Yes please” Gran put in, “I need a sit down”

The tannoy announced the imminent start of the show in four languages so we headed towards the show stage. We plonked ourselves down in the auditorium and with typical German efficiency, at precisely one forty-five the show started. If you’ve seen fashion shows on the telly, compared to this they are well boring! There were six models, two blokes and four girls and this was no strut down a catwalk.

The show was split into themes, sport, race and casual and in each category there were separate bits for each brand. The models kept us mesmerised, dancing and cavorting in front of a backdrop with a sort of home movie of cycling playing on it. To be honest, I was watching the models more than what they were wearing! One of the girls was, I’m certain, winking at me!

There was a short break between the parts and the middle bit, the race clothing was heralded by the thumping beat of ‘Tour de France’ by Kraftwerk. I recognised it from the telly coverage of Mum’s tour back in June. The girls modelled some cool road kit then the two guys burst onto the stage as the music changed to some vaguely familiar hip hop tune. We were treated to a couple of minutes of acrobatics and street dancing which had the crowd cheering and clapping, the clothing all but forgotten!

Finally the third session started, the girls came out wearing what I guess was Victorian bike kit! The pace was much slower as they twirled their parasols and strutted around the stage, there was that wink again! Then the pace of the music changed and the long dresses were gone leaving the girls in modern leisure kit. The guys, recovered now from their energetic performance came out in casual kit replacing the girls and did a semi striptease much to Brits delight, hey it’s a bike show, they went down to vest and pants! A couple of minutes later and it was all over, lots of clapping and whistling then we joined everyone filing outside.

“That was cool, those guys!” Brit sighed
“It wasn’t what I was expecting” Gran mentioned
“That girl with the braids kept winking at me” I told them
“Must fancy you girl!” Brit joked

 

We’d arranged to meet Mum at three so we hit the halls again. There was all sorts of stuff and to be honest a lot of it didn’t interest me at all, I mean, can you get excited by a bike lock or Barbie bikes? Didn’t think so. We made our way around halls with bike brands I’ve never heard of to famous names that even non cyclists know! By the time we found Mum, once again having an impromptu autograph session, we were footsore and pretty much biked out!

“So you enjoying yourselves?” Mum asked after she divested herself of the fans
“You need a body guard Mrs B” Brit stated
“Why? Oh the rabid fans!” Mum chuckled
“Finished your meetings?” Gran asked
“Yes, I can’t say anything here though, you never know who’s listening. Have you been in B1 yet Drew?”
“No, we’re saving that side until tomorrow, why?”
“Doesn’t matter, it can wait. So you want to look at more bikes or have you had enough for today”

I looked at Gran, then Brit. It really would be selfish to look at more today.

“I think we’ve had enough for one day,” I told her, the looks on the others faces showed that I’d made the right call!
“Okay, well the Pingers will be here about eight, I said we’d eat when they get here so how about we go explore the town for a couple of hours?”
“As long as I can get a cuppa” Gran allowed
“Come on then” Mum led us out of the halls and into the bright afternoon sun; we spotted the bus back into the town and climbed on board.

 

A few others had obviously reached the same point by the looks on their faces! The traffic was much lighter now and we were soon stepping off at the main bus station. I’m not quite sure how but we started off in the wrong direction and found ourselves in a little park on the waterfront. Brit spotted the ferry that we used yesterday and we headed back that way, not before David Bailey here got a picture though!

“Hey there’s a museum,” Brit pointed to a big white building next to the harbour.
“Zeppelin Museum” I read from the sign, “what’s that then?”
“Let’s have a look,” Mum suggested

We followed the signs to the entrance.

“Looks like some sort of balloons” Brit commented
“Not balloons, airships” Gran stated, “that might be quite interesting”
“Well it shuts at five, how about we have a look on Sunday before you go home?” Mum as usual was talking sense.
“Okay, I suppose we have to look around the shops then”
“Oh come on Gab, you know you enjoy it really” Brit enthused

I just rolled my eyes at Mum and Gran. Mum just smirked.

“Come on then, lets have a look round.”

 

“Are you ready yet Gab!” Brit shouted through the door
“Just about” I replied with no enthusiasm. I sat on the bed and slipped the shoes onto my feet. To say I wasn’t amused would be putting it lightly, as if losing my case and having to wear girls stuff wasn’t bad enough, now I have to wear a bloomin’ dress and girls sandals to go to dinner with Kat and Maria. ‘Snot fair!
“Can I come in?”
“I guess”

Brit came into my room, at least that’s something, I got my own room this time!

“Oh come on Gab, you need some make up on”
“Why?”
“Look, Brit knows best! Hang on I’ll get mine and sort you out”

She was off in a flash. So okay I’ve worn makeup before. One thing I’ve not done is put it on myself, it’s always been Jules or Mad, even Mum and Sylv have ‘done me up’ but never me. I’d prefer to keep it that way. Brit was soon back with a huge bag of cosmetics and with a sigh I submitted to her ministrations.

 

Half an hour later I slumped into one of the sofas in reception. It’s been a while since I’ve had this much makeup on and Brit insisted on doing my nails too, ‘Coconut Ice’, whoopee. Sorry if I don’t sound very enthusiastic. I glared at pink toenails and quietly fumed.

“There you are” Gran’s voice came from behind me, “where’s Drew Jen?”
“Gran! I’m here,” I stated through gritted teeth
“Oh sorry luv, you looked just like your Mum from behind”
“Not you too Gran”
“I don’t know what’s going on here young man, but when I say you look like your Mum, that’s a compliment.”
“But Gran!” I whined
“We’ll talk later. For now you look like a young Jenny, hmm, hang on a minute” she dug into her bag and fished around for a minute or two, “I thought so, I never wear them so you might as well have them. Come here”

Would you argue with your Gran? Well I don’t. I got up and stood in front of her. I saw a glint in her hand then she fiddled first with one ear then the other. I felt the slight tug on each ear and caught a quick glance of a short drop earring on my reflection from the window.

“There, that’s better” she brushed a stray strand of my wayward and slightly pink hair behind my ear, “you really look like a Peters girl now!”

That’s all I need! Before I could dwell on the subject there was an excited shout from the door.

“Gaby!” I looked around; to find Kat launching herself at me, “I thought it was you” she added crushing me in a hug. Brit and Mum chose that moment to arrive so with Maria it was a big round of introductions.
“Nice earrings Gab” Brit whispered
“Er yeah. Gran gave them to me”
“Real diamonds cool”

 

The Pingers did the quickest change I’ve ever known women to do, just fifteen minutes then the six of us piled into the Appollinaris team car that Maria had driven down.

“Where are we going?” I asked
“The girl on reception told me about a really good place about five kilometres away” Mum informed us before giving Maria more directions.

Well the advice was good. It turned out to be a traditional country pub and it was packed with people eating and drinking. We managed to get a table and after a short wait we ordered our food and some wine. It was a brilliant evening; I forgot how I was dressed, well until I needed a wee! Brit and Kat were getting along like a house on fire; I missed a lot of their conversation, as I was deeply engrossed in telling Maria all about my famous victories. Gran produced my medals and that started another round of stories, it was well late by the time we got back to the hotel.

 

I lay in bed contemplating the day, the show is great, that fashion show was pretty cool, mind you that girl winking at me was a bit odd. Then I thought again, I was wearing girl’s stuff, my god; she thought she was winking at a girl! That creeped me out even more! Seeing Kat again is brill and we get to hang out together tomorrow – cool. That all carbon bike was pretty neat. One day…

 

Maddy Bell 23.05.04

 

 

Can you believe that Walters girl? She must have found every bit of ‘my’ Gaby wardrobe and brought it with her! Why couldn’t she just have brought a pair of jeans instead of all this other stuff? So here I am, sat in a hotel room in Germany wondering what I should wear today. Jeans? Shorts? Oh no, I’ve got a choice of a denim mini skirt and one of Brits sun tops or a sundress! Why me?

I settled on the skirt again and the top that I ‘borrowed’ at the festival, at least I haven’t got braids today! By the time I arrived in the breakfast room everyone else was tucking into their bread and cheese.

“Hi sleepy”
“Morning Mum” I mumbled in reply
“Cute look Gab” Brit mentioned, “You just need some shades”
“I’ve got some you can borrow” Kat offered
“Er thanks”
“So Gaby, are you helping your mother today?” Maria asked
“Eh?”
“With the show?”
“What show? Mum?”
“Oh it’s just an idea that one of sponsors had, I was going to tell them no”
“Jenny!” Maria admonished
“Well you do it then” Mum told her friend
“I would but they didn’t ask me, they want the Maillot Jaune”
“Will someone tell me what’s going on?” I asked

Kat giggled

“Your mother has been asked to do the fashion show,” Gran advised
“The one we saw yesterday? Cool! Mum you’ve got to do it”
“Not you too kiddo!” Mum sounded exasperated
“Aaw go on Mum it’ll be fun”

I know why Mum wasn’t keen, she’s never been into the fame business and here in Germany they treat her like a national hero, even though she’s English!

“We’ll see, I need to go see them this morning anyway”

 

For a second morning we headed out to the bus stands and caught the free Messe bus. The traffic was even worse today as today and tomorrow are open to the general public unlike yesterdays trade only access. Still, the bus once again was able to speed us past the queuing cars to deposit us at the main entrance.

Once again Mum was recognised, as well as Maria and the pair of them did the picture / autograph thing while we waited to get in. The six of us headed for the B halls, we were going to start at the opposite end to yesterday. Going around with Mum and Maria was a real eye opener, a lot of people recognised them and visa versa. We looked at bikes, we looked at tyres, we looked at helmets and more bikes, well you get the idea.

“I’ll speak to Marcus as we’re here,” Mum informed me
“Who’s Marcus?”
“He looks after sponsorship for this lot, we get our kit from them” we were on the Gore stand.
“Oh right”
“I see you have the whole team today” the voice greeted us as we turned a corner.
“Morning Marcus”
“Hi Jenny, Maria, so these are your daughters eh?”
“Kat’s mine” Maria indicated my pal.
“Britney here is visiting from America, this one is mine” Mum gave me a squeeze.
“Beautiful like her mother” Marcus went on, “so you’ve come to tell me this afternoon is on? Please, I’ll owe you”
“Against my better judgement”

I saw a twinkle in his eye

“What about you girls, fancy being models for us?”
“Marcus!” Mum snapped
“Sorry Jen, well?”

The guy was actually serious! Half an hour later we departed after some serious negotiations. Just Mum and Maria would be appearing much to Kat and Britney’s disappointment and my relief. We broke out of the halls for a break and found some seats in the relative calm and quiet of the outdoor area.

“What’s that buzzing?” Gran asked

It sounded like distant lawnmowers.

“Up there!” Kat pointed up above the surrounding roofs.
“Hey cool” Brit exclaimed

I followed their gaze to where an airship was passing overhead, a real live Zeppelin!

 

“I think there is a museum in the town.” Maria mentioned, “This is where the famous Zeppelin airships come from”
“I think the girls were planning on going in the morning before coming here” Gran put in.

We finished our drinks and returned to the halls; Mum and Maria had another meeting so that left Kat with me, Gran and Brit. There was a mini stage at the back of one hall; intrigued we joined the small audience. It was some sort of competition. People were having a go on a turbo trainer hooked up to a video screen.

“It’s for, what is the word, charity?” Kat supplied

The crowd cheered as a bloke of about fifty had a go.

“You should have a go Gab” Brit suggested
“For sure” Kat agreed
“Go on Drew” Gran encouraged

Well it looked like fun. I joined the queue and watched what was really going on and decided that it wasn’t too difficult.

“Hallo?”
“Er hi I’d like a go please, bitter”
“English?”
“Yes”
“Okay you know what we are doing?”
“Yes, Kat explained it, she’s German” I qualified
“Okay, name please?” he prepared to type the info into a laptop, the information would then appear on the screen.
“Er Bond, Dr.. Gaby”
“Geburtstag? Sorry your day of birth?”
“February twenty fifth, nineteen eighty-nine”
“Dreizehn. Bond, you are relation, relative of Jenny?”
“My Mum” I sighed

Five minutes later I was sat on the bike ready to go. The format was simple, a standing start kilometre time trial on a track simulator. I watched the clock tick down to zero and then it was go, go, go! I went into race mode, assumed a tuck and pedalled like fury, steering around the computer-generated track. The crowd started cheering, I could hear Miss Walters clearly!

It was clear at the halfway point that something had changed, the crowd quieted as they watched, the girls were still shouting encouragement and as I finished the third lap the audience became louder than ever. My legs were starting to go and I could feel my skirt gradually riding up to expose a bit more leg than I’d like! There was a loud beep as I finished the distance and sat up, just gradually slowing my legs so I didn’t cramp.

The crowd were clapping and cheering

“Und Gaby Bond aus England fährt eine fantastiche Zeit von einer Minute fünfundvierzig komma zwolf!” the crowd cheered some more. I didn’t hear the rest of what the guy said.

I got off the bike, readjusted my skirt and with wobbly legs rejoined the others

“Wow Gaby, you have the fastest time by five seconds” Kat exclaimed
“That’s my boy” Gran gave my shoulder a squeeze.

The guy running the event came over, catching us, as we were about to leave.

“That was a tremendous ride Gaby, I think you might win for today, you race?”
“She’s the British champion!” Brit advised him
“That explains it, and the daughter of Jenny Bond! How do you say, a dark horse eh?” his grin was infectious and we moved on in high spirits.
“Come on D.. Gaby, lets get you cleaned up a bit” Gran suggested, “young er ladies don’t go round smelling all sweaty. Wait here girls”

Gran dragged me into the ladies and then into the disabled cubicle. Five minutes later I knew why her bag was so big! I had to agree that I felt a lot more comfortable washed, powdered and perfumed, well the latter I could have passed up! While I had my ‘dry’ shower Gran started to ask a few questions.

“You’re going to tell me what all this is about young man, your Mum has told me about Paris but I know there’s something more going on.

“It’s a long story Gran.”
“Just the highlights now then”
“Well Brit and her sister thought I was a girl, I don’t know why. Anyway even after Dad told them I wasn’t they kept on with it. Then I sort of had to borrow a skirt when we went skating ‘cos I split my jeans.”
“Had to?”
“Well it was that or nothing and it was only at the rink. Anyway after I crashed at Newark I couldn’t wear trousers so Brit got me a long skirt and, well Gran it just seemed easier to stop trying to prove I’m a boy.”
“So they think you’re a girl”
“Yes Gran, it’s only for another week then they go home. I’ll be back to Drew fulltime and for ever then”

 

“There’s those girls again,” Brit mentioned as we walked around another hall of cycleania.
“Which?” Kat asked
“Oh there were some girls doing promotions yesterday,” I told her
“Oh I see. Those shorts are tight!”

I have to say, the teenage boy in me was right there! Those outfits are somewhat revealing huh? The two girls passed us distributing some sort of flyer, they took no notice, no that would be a lie, they gave us a bored look as they suffered the attentions of the male show goers.

“Huh you wouldn’t get me doing that,” Kat advised us
“They probably do it for a living” Gran pointed out

Well I guess that made sense.

You’re getting bored of the show aren’t you? Hmmm, okay then I’ll skip telling you about all the bikes and stuff, suffice to say my pack was filling with brochures again, the guy on the SKS stand gave us all baseball caps, we got some energy bars from another stand and slushies from the Schwalbe tyre people!

 

“That must be it” Gran mentioned
“I can’t see them” I commented
“There on the top. Hi Mum!” Kat called out waving

I have to say it was the last thing I expected to see, an old English bus at a bike show, a German bike show at that!

“Come on up” Mum called down to us

We made our way round to the stairs and we joined our parents on the top deck.

“Bo, this is my mother, the tall girl is Brit who is staying with us in England, that’s Kat and the other young lady is Gaby, my youngest” Mum started the introductions, “guys, Mum, this is Bo Hamburger”

Brit stifled a chuckle.

“Hello ladies, we are just about finished with business, then we can eat”
“Burgers I guess” Brit whispered in my ear. I slapped at her to shush her as we found seats.

I know what you are thinking, if I was making names up Bo Hamburger would be ridiculous right? Well that really is his name, he’s ridden the Tour and stuff, he was a top Danish pro rider a few years ago. He still looked pretty fit, no not in that way! I suppose he’s not ugly, no I mean he looks like he still rides. I’ve seen pictures of the famous Eddy Merckx after he retired, he was a right bloater!

“So you are all enjoying Friedrichshafen?” Bo asked a few minutes later
“It’s not what I expected,” Brit told him
“How so?”
“Brit isn’t really into bikes,” I offered
“Ah!” Bo replied as though that was the answer to everything
“Well anyway there’s so much to see and do, Gab did a race thing just now and the fashion show”
“So Gaby, you ride the challenge?” he asked
“She posted the fastest time, einer Minute fünfundvierzig komma zwolf für das kilometre” Kat slipped into German
“I’m impressed” Bo smiled at me
“So am I Gaby” Mum mentioned, “dressed like that too”

I turned beet red. I was saved from further embarrassment by the arrival of the caterers with our ‘lunch’, platters with salad stuff, ham, pepperoni, potato salad and warm red cabbage! The conversation was light, Bo told us what he did for a living these days and why Mum and Maria were talking to him. Oh you want to know, well he’s a rider’s agent and he wanted to represent them. I’ve no idea what that means, I’ll ask Mum later.

 

“Thanks Bo, we’ll speak again soon” Mum shook his hand
“I hope so Jenny, Maria”

We left Bo and headed for our next stop, Mum and Maria’s PA at the fashion show.

“Lets get some seats” Gran suggested
“Lets go and find Marcus Maria, you coming Gaby?” Mum asked
“Er, okay” we left the others to find some decent seats
“You did a good job of charming Bo” Mum stated
“Muum”
“Well you did and that one forty five kilo is pretty good you know”
“Whatever”
“Maria! Jenny! And the lovely Gaby too” Marcus called out, beckoning us into the backstage area.
“I’m not sure about this Marcus” Mum dissembled
“Come on Jenny, it’ll all be over in five minutes.” Maria chivvied
“Okay”
“I’ll go back to the others Mum”
“Okay kiddo”
“Where are you going Gaby?” Marcus asked
“Outside to watch”
“I’ve got an idea. How do you fancy being a model?”
“Marcus! We went through this earlier” Mum’s ire was rising!
“Oh come on, it’s only for a couple of minutes. How about this, you get to keep what you wear Gaby?”

He was making an offer any teenage girl would go for – free clothes! And a chance to be a model, Kat and Brit would die for this offer. Only problem being I’m not a teenage girl. Oh boy, quandary time! If I say no it’ll look odd and get grief from the girls, if I say yes, I really don’t want to say yes!

The same thoughts must have been going through Mums head, when I looked to her for direction it was clear it was now my decision to make. Sugar! Would it be so bad? I guess not.

“Okay” I whispered.

 

Over the next fifteen minutes, Marcus introduced the three of us to the dancers and organised what we would be wearing. There was a change in running order and we weren’t the only ‘extras’ involved, the other clothing companies had their troops lined up too.

 

“Do you dance?”
“Eh?”
“Do you dance? You are English aren’t you?” it was the girl with the braids, her flat accent identifying her as from London
“Um yes, I mean yes I’m English”
“I’m Kitty”
“Er Gaby Bond”
“One of them your Mum then?”
“Yeah, the blonde one, er Jenny”
“So d’ya dance at all?”
“Only parties and stuff”
“Oh” she sounded disappointed, “gymnastics or anything like that?”
“Well we’ve been learning cheering, we’ve got American exchange students staying” I felt I had to explain.
“Oh brill!” she enthused, “if you can do that, you can join the routine while your out”

What am I landed in now?

 

Mum and Maria got a little cameo role at the end of each section; she had to ride around the stage on an appropriate bike. So there was one of those roadster things, a mountain bike and a road bike, obviously they had three outfits representing the different ranges finishing with Mum in her Tour Feminin yellow skinsuit and Maria in the team strip. Pretty cool.

I ended up with two outfits at Kitty’s insistence and my hair in two ‘cute’ bunches, urgh! I still wasn’t too keen but when the music started and my nemesis pulled me onto the stage I forgot about my reluctance and determined to make the best of it. I just about remembered what I was supposed to do, I don’t think that I was too out of sync and I was concentrating so hard I forgot about the audience.

After the first session I found a quiet corner to get changed so I missed Mums first appearance. The second presentation was a bit more active being the ‘sports’ kit. I joined Kitty for my appearance and followed what Kit and the others were doing, I thought pretty well. I was panting as though I’d just done a race by the time I left the stage; the dancers however were changed and back on the stage while I was still recovering. Mum did her little ride round then it was time for the acrobatic session.

I found a corner at the side of the stage and settled down to watch the performance. From the floor yesterday it looked pretty slick and impressive, on the stage today it still looked great but I could see the effort, hear the grunts, smell the sweat! Finally it was time for Mum’s yellow jersey ride and the finale. Marcus hadn’t mentioned this but when Mum and Maria pulled to a halt mid stage, I found Kitty dragging me back on stage.

“Come on Gaby, time for a bow”

I wasn’t the only one dragged back on, the other dancers had their ‘charges’ too so that there were about a dozen of us on the stage. What came next was worse than one of Mr Woods assemblies. The guy doing the PA worked his way along the line introducing the guest models, well I guess that was what he was doing, and my German isn’t very good. Each time the crowd cheered and clapped

“Gaby Bond, die Englishe Meisterin der unter-Dreizehnjährigen in einem ‘Gore Leisure’ modell!”

There was the usual cheering; Brit’s voice came clearly across “Go Gaby!” I waved and the PA moved on finishing with Mum. He did an impromptu interview in German; I didn’t really follow what was being said, just odd words.

“Gaby Bond, you come please” the PA’s voice broke into my thoughts
“I think he wants you to go over,” Kitty mentioned

Now I felt uncomfortable. I walked across to join Mum, Maria and the PA, conscious now of what I was wearing. I didn’t say, did I, well I now had a pale yellow sleeveless top and a matching skort on. Oh right, a skort is like shorts with a skirt bit or is it a skirt with shorts, well whatever, the idea is that it looks like you are wearing a skirt but with the practicality of shorts. Anyway I joined Mum and the conversation went on, clearly I was the subject. He said something I didn’t understand then there was a round of applause, some camera flashes and it was all over.

 

“What’s in the bag Gab?” Brit asked
“The stuff I wore for the show”
“Cool, that yellow top was nice” Kat mentioned
“I thought it was only supposed to be your Mum’s doing it” Brit probed
“It was but Marcus is very persuasive”
“You dance very well Gaby” Gran put in
“And she says she doesn’t want to be a cheerleader” Brit supplied
“You are a cheerleader Gaby?” Maria queried
“Erm not really”
“After that you are definitely so in” Brit stated

I saw Mum’s eyebrows go up. More explanations.

The show was winding down for the day but as ‘trade’ visitors we had an invite to the show party starting at six. We wandered around as the public departed, we got a coffee invite on the Cannondale stand, they sponsor Mum and Maria, so we had a chance to collect our thoughts. Apparently this party thing is pretty cool, live music and free food and drink all night.

Well it lived up to the hype, the music was supplied by a German band that Kat knew, Spee-gall or something like that. Anyway it was pretty good. Considering it was free, the food was great, the usual sausage and stuff of course but there was chilli, pasta, salad and stuff too. I even managed to sneak a beer! Mum and Maria were still networking, we saw Marcus and Bo getting on down and Kitty was doing some rather raunchier dancing than she did at the fashion show. She gave me a wink when she saw me watching, that girl is weird!

There was other entertainment too, floodlit BMX racing and an impromptu track stand challenge. I don’t know where the time went, it was after eleven when we piled into a taxi to go back to the hotel.

Finally I got into bed, back as me at last, that’s Drew me. Some day eh? If someone had told me what I’d be doing today, even this morning, I wouldn’t have believed it. I mean, doing that Kilo ride was pretty neat but how I got talked into the fashion show, well all I can say is that Marcus is very persuasive! And that party! Even Gran was having a boogie! My eyes finally closed, tomorrow is another day.

“So we’ll see you at the show about twelve”
“Okay Jen, see you later” Gran confirmed

Mum and Maria drove off, our bags ready for the off in the back.

“Come on girls, let’s get going” Gran chivvied

Brit insisted that I couldn’t wear the denim skirt again so here I am in that damned sundress! The lighter material flapped around my legs as we walked through the park to the town and our destination, the Zeppelin Museum.

Apparently the building it’s in used to be the terminal where the huge airships used to depart from. Inside we went through reconstructions of cabins, model galleries, well all sorts of stuff about the airships, the Von Zeppelin family, Friedrichshafen, there was even an old Zeppelin car! It took us about an hour and a half to go round and a further fifteen in the gift shop.

“Lets get a drink before we go to the show” Gran suggested
“There’re a couple of bars over there” Kat suggested
“Okay” Gran agreed

We claimed some seats under the umbrellas and watched some little kids playing on a stainless steel Zeppelin as we sipped our cokes. I was pretty relaxed and happy, the show has been brilliant, spending time with Mum and Gran has been so neat. If only life was always like this, tomorrow it’s back to school; Mum’ll still be here in Germany, Gran will be going home, ah well.

 

We got to the exhibition halls just after twelve and found Mum and Maria waiting for us.

“Good time?” Mum asked
“The museum was pretty good,” I told her
“So, anything you want to have a look at, you need to leave here about one thirty”
“Erm, the Campag stand?”
“Well I think I’m going to get some lunch,” Gran mentioned

To cut the junk out, Mum and I went to find the Campagnolo stand while the others went out to the food tents where we met them half an hour later. We got some food and before I realised it was after one. We collected our cases from the cloakroom and said our goodbyes. Mum was going home with the Pingers later after a mid afternoon official autograph session. With a final hug Mum waved us off.

“See you soon and have a good flight back home Britney”
“Thanks Mrs B”
“Bye Mum”

 

The bus direct to the airport turned up and we started the ten-minute ride to the terminal.

“So how come we didn’t fly direct here?” Brit asked
“The times of the flights” Gran advised us, “Drew’s Dad couldn’t get the time off work so we had to catch the earliest flight we could get to come out”
“So we fly back to the same place, where was it, Lupin?”
“Luton. No we go back to Stansted”
“We passed there last weekend Brit,” I added
“We need to ring your Dad when we get there, he might be waiting or we might have to get the train.” Gran went on.

 

The terminal reminded me of when we went to Paris, it’s pretty small, no fancy big halls or anything, more like a bus station really! We went straight to check-in; the girl only gave us a quick look when she checked our passports. We had thirty minutes before the flight was due so we went straight to immigration. There was a short queue and it was only as I stood in line that it hit me; I’m wearing a dress!

“Gran!” I tugged at her arm
“Yes?”
“I’m wearing a dress!” I hissed
“Oh! I forgot, you should have got changed”
“What’s up?” Brit asked
“This!” I plucked at ‘my’ dress
“What’s the problem?”
“Never mind Brit” I deflated in surrender
“Leave it to your Gran, wait here”

Gran left the queue and went to speak to an official. I watched, as there was some arm waving and head shaking. Gran came back so I didn’t see the official as he went off.

“All sorted Drew”
“What did you do?” I asked
“Well in the circumstances, I told him the truth, he’s letting his colleague know so you shouldn’t have a problem.”
“Thanks Gran”

True to Gran’s word the official at passport control gave me no more attention than anyone else, in fact Brit’s American passport caused more interest. We waited in the boarding lounge until our transport taxied onto the apron. No big orange thing this time, going back we‘re using Ryanair with their much smaller planes.

 

The flight home took a bit longer, almost two hours, we watched through the tiny window as we climbed over the Bodensee and headed over the Black Forest. I could get used to this flying lark! No sooner had we crossed the Channel than it seemed we were heading in to land and with a squeal of rubber and a fast deceleration we were down on terra firma.

We made our way through the corridors and up and down escalators to the main terminal building where we joined countless other travellers waiting for their bags. Surely they couldn’t lose another bag! We waited and waited. Then we waited some more! Finally Brit and Gran’s bags emerged and we moved to join the exit queue, Brit to the non-EU gate and me and Gran to the other, the last hurdle before home.

I passed my passport over and the woman looked at me, the passport and back again.

“Is this your passport miss?”
“Yes, I can explain though”
“Is there a problem?” Gran asked
“No ma’am, nothing for you to concern yourself with”
“It is if it concerns my Grandson”
“Grandson?”
“Yes, Drew here is my Grandson”
“One of us needs glasses, you are trying to tell me that this pretty young thing in a sundress is your Grandson?” she didn’t sound anywhere near convinced.
“That’s right”
“I’m afraid I need more than that”
“Well okay, he, I mean she is in transition, sex change” she whispered
“Ah! I see, go on then, sorry to have delayed you”

I gratefully retrieved my passport and with an embarrassing flush walked out into the main concourse.

“What was all that sex change thing Gran?” I stammered
“It was all I could think of Drew, she was convinced you are a girl”
“I guess, what’s transition?”
“I’ll tell you later, there’s Britney”

Not only Britney, Dad too!

“Hi Mum, Dr... Gaby, Brit here says you had a good trip” he took in my attire
“Yep, I thought you were working Dad.”
“We got finished early so I thought I’d meet you”

We made our way out to the short stay car park; I couldn’t see our car though.

“Where’s the car Dad?”
“Here”
“Huh?”
“Cool” Brit exclaimed
“I’ve only borrowed it, what do you think?”

 

Well it wasn’t what I would have expected. It was a sort of burgundy colour and looked nothing like a Dadmobile! Oh right, it was a PT Cruiser; you know one of those sort of retro American things. Was Dad seriously contemplating buying one of these? I hope so.

 

Maddy Bell 29.05.04

 

 

“Come on girls, we’re home. Wakey wakey”

Huh! Girls?

“Come on sleepy” Gran’s voice came from behind me
“Gran?”
“You’ve been asleep all the way from Cambridge luv”
“Dreaming” I mumbled stretching as best I could in the back of the car
“All the excitement, come on inside with you, and you Britney”

I extricated myself from the seatbelt and stumbled into the house with Britney hard on my heels. Of course Deb and Jules wanted to hear about everything so bed was put on hold! Dad talked Gran into staying until Tuesday, which meant a couple of nights in the camper for him! Finally, after I’d fallen asleep for a second time Dad called time and I stumbled up to bed.

What a weekend! Urgh, school tomorrow!

 

“So Drew, I want to hear all about Germany” Mad enthused as the four of us walked to school Monday morning.
“Hey you guys, we need to practice our cheers later” Sabrina called back to us
“After school?” Mad suggested
“We can go to the park straight from class” Brit decreed
“Okay” Mad allowed, “you gonna come Drew?”
“Hey after the weekend, she’s on the squad!” Brit told everyone
“Briii-it!” I moaned
“Well you were great in that fashion show”
“Fashion show?” Sabrina and Mad echoed
“I’ll tell you later” I sighed
“So?” Sabrina asked
“Eh?”
“You’re coming to cheer practice, right?” she pressed
“Okay. But I’m only watching”
“If you say so girlfriend!” Brit mumbled.

 

It was like being the new kid at school, I know it was only a couple of days but everyone else seemed to know where they were going and had met the teachers. Me and the gang are third years (Brit keeps on about 11th grade?) so we get some new subjects (and teachers) this year before we choose our GCSE’s next year. So today I start TD, tomorrow it’s IT and we’ve got Politics, Social Studies and Community Projects later in the week.

I got through the morning and then of course at lunchtime me and Brit were real popular. All the gang, Bernie, Ally, Rhod and Mad along with Darla, Sabrina and Amy commandeered a spot under one of the Weeping Willows that provided a bit of privacy. Where’s Dan I hear you ask? I feel a bit sorry for him really but Miss Bell has got him under virtual house arrest! So lunchtimes he’s stuck inside, in the secretary’s office.

So with me filling in a few details now and then, Brit brought the gang up to date with our trip. Of course that meant that Amy and Darla now had to have my status explained to them.

“What’s the fuss? I always thought you were a girl anyway Gaby” Amy told me
“Can you call me Drew at school plee-ease?”
“Okay, if that’s what you want”
“So are you gonna be in the cheer squad?” Darla asked
“Of course she is” Brit pronounced, “you should have seen some of her moves in Germany”
“Really?” Bernie enquired
“Yeah she was really shakin’ them tail feathers”
“Gaby you little minx!” Ally snorted

I was saved from further humiliation by the first buzzer going.

“So, straight to the park after school then” Sabrina stated

Everyone bar me, Rhod and Mad then did some weird bum slap and shake which finished with a group high five resulting in six giggling girls and three bemused teens.

“What was that about?” Mad asked as we headed towards the school buildings.
“It’s our squad signature” Ally advised, “we’ll teach you and Drew later”

Deep joy! I just hope no one sees me later. The afternoon session seemed to drag on forever, tech drawing was okay but to finish with double English and ‘an introduction to Shakespeare’ was too much. The promise of an hour prancing around the park straight after didn’t exactly fire me up either. And with half the ‘squad’ in my class there was no chance of escape.

 

“Hey Drew, you fancy giving the RC’s a run tonight?” Clive asked as we filed out of class.

Oh how I’d like that!

“Can’t, I’m stuck with Britney”
“Bummer” Paul mentioned from behind me, “still they go home this week don’t they?”
“Yeah, there’s a party thing on Thursday, Mr Wood mentioned a special assembly on Friday then they leave Saturday morning”
“You seen Gaby lately?” Clive asked
“Er no, not for weeks”
“I wish she came here for school” Clive sighed
“Yeah maybe you’d stop mooning over her then” Paul mentioned
“There you are Drew, come on we’ll be late” Brit grabbed my arm and dragged me off
“See ya Drew” Clive called out
“Tomorrow” I replied

 

“You got your sports kit?” Brit asked as we joined the throng of departing students.
“No, what for?”
“Well you can hardly cheer in that get up can you”
“I don’t want to cheer”
“‘Course you do, we’ll sort you out when we get there”

I can do without being ‘sorted out’ thank you!

 

We met the rest of the crowd at the crossing then I sulked along behind as the gaggle of girls headed over the river towards a quiet corner of The Carr’s.

“Has any one got a spare skirt for Gaby?” Brit requested
“Can’t I just wear my trousers?”
“Don’t talk daft” Ally told me
“I’ve got my netball skirt” Bernie offered, waving a navy blue garment.

I groaned. Netball equals very short skirt, I like watching the girls when they play because of the short skirts, I don’t want to wear one!

“That’ll be brill,” Mad stated gleefully
“Here you go Gab” Bernie handed me the garment

Almost resigned to the situation I saw a way out.

“I can’t just change in the middle of the park”
“You can go into those bushes,” Brit ‘helpfully’ advised, pointing to a nearby mound of foliage
“And you’d best put these on too” Mad threw me another garment.
“It’s alright Gaby, we’ll make sure no one see you” Ally added.

Luckily there was a small clearing in the middle of the bushes and a quick check didn’t reveal any obvious peepholes.

“Come on Gab, times a wasting!” I think that was Darla
“Okay!” I shook out the skirt and the bundle that Mad threw me, which turned out to be her PE knickers, full cut and designed to hide tanks!
Five minutes later I emerged from the foliage sans trousers, doing my best to keep ‘my’ skirt from blowing up a la Marilyn.

“That’s better Gab, but those shoes have to go!” Brit declared
“We’ll practice barefoot,” Darla suggested which prompted a general removal of footwear and foot coverings.

 

We’d been prancing around for best bit of an hour when my worst fears were realised.

“Hey Clive, isn’t that Gaby over there” Paul’s voice carried to us on the breeze.
“Admirer Gaby?” Amy asked
“Er sort of”
“Clive’s got a crush on her,” Mad told the Americans
“You sly puss!” Brit declared
“What are you lot up to?” Clive asked as he and Paul arrived at cheer central clutching various RC equipment and Clive’s Subaru.
“What’s it look like knob head?” Bernie shot back
“I dunno” Clive ignored the insult, “some sort of dancing? Hi Gaby”

I smiled weakly back

“If you must know, we’re cheering” Brit volunteered
“I thought Drew was with you?” Paul queried
“He was for a bit but he went to see his Gran” Mad came to my rescue
“Do you fancy going to the pictures Saturday Gaby?” Clive enquired
“Er I won’t be around then” I hope!
“Maybe some other time”

Paul had drifted off a short way

“Come on Clive!”
“See you then Gaby, bye
“Er bye”
“Yeah bye bye big boy!” Bernie muttered
“You’re well in there,” Amy mentioned as Clive hurried over to rejoin Paul
“Gaby’s got a boyfriend, Gaby’s got a boyfriend“ Brit sang out
“Give it a rest Brit, she’s a bit shy”

I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me

“Come on let’s run through the routine once more before we finish” Amy suggested

When the rain came ten minutes later it caught us completely unawares. We all just grabbed our bags and footwear and ran barefoot for the nearest shelter.

“We’d better get home” Ally advised
“Us too" Bernie agreed
“Okay see you guys tomorrow” Brit mentioned

The four of them darted off as the rain eased for a moment.

“You coming back to mine?” Mad asked
“Best not, I really should go and see Gran as she’s staying, she’ll have tea ready by now knowing her”
“Okay”
“Come on the rains stopped” Sab stated

I pulled my shoes on and chased after the others as we made our way home.

 

“Phew! I thought we were gonna get caught good and proper there”

The sound of rain hammering down outside masked the thump of my heart, fresh from running the length of the estate.

“There you two are”
“Oh hi Gran”

The look on her face told me something was wrong.

“You didn’t wear that to school?”

Then I realised. I’ve just come from the park wearing Bernie’s skirt and Mad’s knickers!

“No Gran, just for cheer practice”
“Cheer practice? I think you and me need a chat later Drew. Come in and get your tea, but go and get something dry on first. Go on, the pair of you.” She shushed us inside and not needing an invitation I legged it for my room.

 

The evening had completely turned around, gone were the rain clouds and we were now sat in the garden under a cloudless blue sky. The evening was now punctuated by the twittering of birds and the incessant droning of a strimmer two doors away. The only sign of the earlier downpour left was the fresh ‘green’ smell of the grass and shrubbery.

“So you’ve been pretending to be a girl?” Gran asked after I finished my tale of woe.
“Er not exactly Gran” boy is this embarrassing. “Well actually the Americans all think I’m a girl who’s pretending to be a boy”
“And not doing too well at it either if the weekend and Britney’s reaction was anything to go by”
“Not you too Gran!”
“Calm down Drew. All I see is my grandson, admittedly it came as a shock to see you in a skirt on Friday, but I still see you”
“Thanks Gran”
“That’s what I see Drew. What other people see is something else. Did anyone query your gender over the weekend?”
“The guy at Stansted?”
“Thought you had the wrong passport. He thought you were a girl”
“Well I was wearing a dress!”
“Even so, he was certain you were a girl, not a boy in a dress. And then there was Marcus and that nice Mr Hamburger, they all saw a pretty girl not a boy”
“I’m doomed!” I bemoaned
“No you’re not. Now be honest Drew, how do you feel about it all, really, the truth mind”

I sat and watched next doors cat stalking some unseen prey across our lawn and tried to square my answer.

“Really? Well I hate all the deception stuff, I want people to just see me.”
“You you or Gaby you?”
“Me me of course”
“You don’t like being Gaby at all?”
“I didn’t say that, it’s okay sometimes but I’d like to have a bit of control over when I’m her”
“So you like pretending to be a girl?”
“It’s okay sometimes”
“Drew, son, do you, if it was possible, would you like to be a girl?”
“Graaa-an! Get real! No way, why would I?”
“Calm down. I had to ask Drew”
“I only said being Gaby is okay” I stated, a tear starting to well up.
“I know luv, come here” Gran pulled me in for a hug and the floodgates opened
“Why do so many people think I’m a girl Gran?” I got out between sniffles
“Honestly?”
“Uh huh” sniff.
“Well you’ve got your Mum’s features, and with your hair and earrings you look just like her. In fact at first glance most of the women in our family look pretty similar”
“Jules doesn’t!”
“No she got her looks from your Dad, but you and Madeline, your only second cousins but you could be twins to look at. For better or worse Drew, you’ve got your mothers looks and for now at least you’re stuck with ’em”
“So there’s nothing I can do Gran?”
“Well you could chop all your hair off and stop wearing unisex clothing but I don’t think it would help much. You just have fine features and a pretty smile”

I slumped back into her embrace

“Why can’t I be me?” I mumbled

Gran hugged me closer and gently rocked the swing seat back and forth.

 

Tuesday arrived cloudy but dry, Dad’s taking Gran home as he’s got a meeting somewhere over that way which meant that there were six for breakfast.

“Are you going to be okay Drew?”
“Yes Gran” I hugged her tightly
“Well if you want to talk, you know where I am”
“Thanks Gran and thanks for taking us to the show”
“I enjoyed it and I hope my granddaughter did too” she smiled conspirationally
“I think so. Oh I’ve still got your earrings, I’ll go get ‘em” I started to pull away
“Whoa kiddo! I gave them to you”
“But Gran I thought…”
“Gaby can wear them when she’s around or you can give them to someone you care for. It’s up to you but they’re yours to keep.”
“Thanks Gran” in truth I was rather glad, I quite like them!
“Now, get off to school and be the best you you can” she hugged me close and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“Bye Gran, see you soon”
“Bye Drew”

 

“You okay girl?” Brit enquired as we walked along to meet Mad and Sab
“Yeah I guess”
“You brought something to wear for cheer practice today?”
“My badminton kit”
“That should be okay, I just wish you’d wear a skirt to school”
“I prefer trousers!”
“Who should wear a skirt?” Mad enquired
“Oh hi Mad, Gaby should wear a skirt to school”
“She does sometimes but she gets too many boys following her around” Mad chuckled
“Maa-ad!” I complained
“Well it’s true, just look at Clive last night and that Paul was eyeing you up too” Mad mentioned
“Leave her in trousers Brit, give us ordinary folk a chance!” Sabrina chimed in.

 

School was okay until afternoon break. That was when Amy told us that Miss Bell had arranged for us to use the sports hall for our cheer practice! Why me? Somehow I have to become the ‘real’ Gaby while I’m at school this afternoon, Grrr! Let me tell you, if I could reasonably get out of this I would but I’d not only have Brit on my back but Mad and the guys too and that means I’d never hear the end of it!

As it turned out I didn’t get out of class on time so I had to leg it across to the sports hall where I found the others already excitedly chatting away.

“Come on Gaby shake a leg girl” Darla exclaimed

I gave her a look and headed towards the changing rooms only to be thwarted by locked doors. Dang! Toilets, they’d do. I dived into the gents and as there was no one else around I quickly changed from my school uniform into Gaby’s badminton kit. I slipped the silicon blobs that make her breasts into the cups and gave my hair a quick brush. The girl in the mirror does look a lot like Mum, Gran‘s right there. I gathered my stuff and headed out

“Oi! What you doing in there girl?”
“Huh?” I spun round to find one of the cleaners staring at me
“What’re you doing in them toilets?” he repeated
“Just getting changed, the changing rooms are locked”
“Well you should use the ladies, not the gents, you sure there’s no boys in there?”

Oh boy! Now he thinks I’ve been in there with a boy, if this ever got out I’m mince!

“Sorry I just went in the first one I came to”
“There you are Drew, come on Miss Bell is going to coach us” Mad enthused

Rescue!

“Nice pants” Amy mentioned when I joined the others. Well I can’t say that I like them but these tennis knickers do preserve my dignity.
“Right! Now we’re all here” Miss Bell started looking pointedly at me, “lets see what you’re made of”

For the next ten minutes we went through the routine that Brit and the girls had worked out, it was odd jumping about with my boobs jiggling away but by the time we finished I’d fully slipped into Gaby mode. Then for the following half hour or so our ‘coach’ did her best to polish our performance and the routine.

“Okay guys, sit yourselves down” we didn’t need much encouragement, my legs felt as though I’d just finished a race!
“Well done everyone, that was really good. I know my students have their cheer uniforms but what are you others going to wear?”
“We hadn’t really thought Miss” Ally admitted
“Well I’ve spoken to Mr Wood and the school is sponsoring your uniforms”
“Oh cool!” Mad exclaimed
“I bet it’s something really dorky” Bernie moaned

I just groaned to myself and saw Brit grinning to herself.

“But we’re doing it on Thursday, there’s not time” Ally mentioned
“It’s just as well I jumped the gun a bit then. Amy, can you fetch the box over by the door”

Amy jumped up and retrieved the box in question.

“Thanks Amy, I spoke to Britney and Sabrina last week so you can blame them for the design”
“Come on Miss lets see” Darla enthused

Coach Bell opened the box and extracted a bag that she opened to reveal ‘our’ new uniform.

“Oh kewl!” Bernie exclaimed
“That looks awesome” Darla stated, “nicer than ours”
“Thanks Miss” Mad added
“I’ve got you poms and sneakers too, this ones yours Ally” and Miss Bell proceeded to hand out the kit.
“You’ve got to try them on,” Sab stated
“Miss?” Ally queried
“Go on, I want to see them myself. But be quick, we have to be out of here in a few minutes”
“Come on” Mad enthused.

A few minutes later the ‘Sherwood Foresters’ emerged back into the hall. The costumes were yellow and blue with red trim and were like a sort of leotard with a skirt sewn on. I am gonna so have to wear that damned gaff with this!

“Whoo, whoo, whoo!”
“Yay Foresters!”

The Americans voiced their opinions of our turnout quite loudly.

The main door swung open and the cleaner poked his head in

“Sorry ladies, I’m going to have to lock up”
“Okay, we’re done now, come on girls get your bags” Miss Bell instructed

You may have noted a lack of enthusiasm on my part, well I’m well pee’d now! I was hoping to get back into my school uniform but now I’m stuck in this silly costume. The others were all chatting away as we exited the building, I was just following along, praying that no one sees me in this get up.

 

Jessica smiled at the sight of the departing students. ‘They’re a good lot of kids. Drew looks like she has reservations though. I guess being a cheerleader doesn’t fit her self-image of tomboy. That child is certainly one mixed up young lady, maybe this will help with her self identity, she can’t pretend to be a boy like she claims, no boy could look as good as she does in that outfit’ she watched as the girls split up to go home.

 

Of course my wishes never come to anything as halfway to Mad’s we spotted Rhod and Dan. Bum! After the Mfanwy affair this was not going to be good!

“Cool uniforms” Dan advised
“I thought you were grounded Dan?” Sab mentioned
“He’s on parole,” Rhod told us, “the shy one is Gaby, Dan”
“Hi Gaby!” Dan grinned, “We were looking for you actually Sab” Dan went on. The two lads joined us as we headed through the gennel. “Look I’m really sorry about what I said Sabrina, I didn’t mean it. Honest. I know I deserved to be punished. Can you forgive me?”
“What about Rhod?” Mad asked
“He’s apologised to me and mum already” Rhod put in
“Sab?” Dan looked pleadingly at our chum
“I guess I can accept but I can’t forget”
Dan’s face lit some, “that’s cool, thanks Sabrina” he gave her an awkward hug, awkward because we were still walking.
“We’d best get home Dan” Rhod stated
“Yeah, okay. See you guys tomorrow, those uniforms really are cute”
“Dan!” three voices echoed
“I was only saying”
“See ya” Rhod waved as we separated.

I heard the two of them as they turned away

“That Gaby is one good looking girl,” Dan stated
“Remind me to tell her” Rhod replied

Maddy Bell 18.07.04 (2nd Edit 24.07.04)

 

 

I managed to sneak into Mad’s place and get changed without Mrs P spotting me, much to Brit’s dismay but my relief. As Jules and Deb got invited out for the evening, Brit and me get to eat at Chez Peters.

“So you all ready for your big performance girls?” Aunt Carol asked as we tucked into our poachers pie salad.
“I think so mum, Miss Bell helped us tonight and these,” she indicated her Cheer outfit, “are really cool” Mad told her
“What about you Drew, you doing anything to entertain us on Thursday?”
“Er, yeah”

The phone picked that moment to ring so distracting Mrs P, by the time she got back she’d forgotten and we were discussing the merits of various salad components! It seems strange not having a race to go to tonight but by the time Brit and I headed for home a bit before seven the reason was already making itself felt. Indeed by eight tonight it won’t be far off fully dark, tonight’s overcast sky doesn’t help either.

 

It was pretty clear this morning that the Walters were both in a state of flux, a combination of excitement and sadness. Excitement as their return home was fast approaching and sadness that they’d soon be leaving. Well that’s what Brit told me. I suppose I’ve got mixed feelings too, sad that they’re going but glad that maybe I can get my life back!

Today marks the start of the second week of school; yeah I know I was away for a couple of days and today is the first proper Wednesday of this school year. I slid through the classes without paying too much attention, just enough not to get in trouble. The good thing today is that I get out of cheer practice as I’m under orders from Dad to do some training for Sunday, the last of the Lincoln circuit races.

Brit was already back when I emerged from the shower after my ride.

“It’s a pity you missed practice”
“I’ll live”
“Ga-ab, I thought you enjoyed cheering?”
“Well let’s say it’s not my first choice of career”
“But you are gonna be in the squad tomorrow?” she pleaded
“I said I would didn’t I?”
“I know but…”
“I’ll be there!”
“Well anyway we thought it would be cool if we all did our hair the same”

Why don’t I like this?

“And make up of course”
“Okay, don’t tell me its braids isn’t it?”
“Course not, Bernie’s hair isn’t long enough and Sabrina’s hair takes forever to do”
“Well what then?” I collapsed onto the sofa to dry my hair
“Seeing as you’re being awkward I’m not telling”
“Brit!” I whined.
“Nope, anyway I said I’d show you the new moves, we get a last practice tomorrow lunch and…“
“…And I suppose I need to practice before then?” I interrupted
“Yep!”

Well at least I got to wear training bottoms instead of a stupid little skirt. I needed another shower afterwards and my legs were like jelly. I suppose I should have seen it coming, but afterwards Brit insisted that we pick what we’re wearing for the party itself. I might have got arm twisted into joining their stupid cheer team but I am going to look like a boy at the party whatever Brit thinks. I only went as far as admitting that I like that orange frock before retiring to do my homework, I’m pretty sure Brit was more than a bit miffed!

 

“Don’t forget your kit Drew” Brit instructed

How in hell could I? It’s all I’ve heard this morning, cheer this, practice that, yardy, yardy, yardy! I don’t even know why we need this flipping lunch time session; I thought we’d already got it all sussed. I can honestly say that I was not looking forward to today or the festivities as much as I might. And as for this cheerleading lark, I’m still not sure how I ended up involved, what about Rhod? He’s managed to escape completely the lucky sod.

Not only do I get to miss my lunch but I don’t suppose there will be time for anything before the party either. Well I suppose it won’t hurt for one day, I seem to be getting a bit lardy lately anyway. I moped all the way to school, trying to ignore the day’s programme of events – and the contents of my holdall. I really am mince if anyone sees what’s in there!

So because I just wanted the day out of the way it dragged something chronic! After what seemed like a fortnight the lunch bell went and I sullenly followed Brit and the others to the sports hall where we found Miss Bell and Mr Wood waiting for us.

“Hi girls” Coach Bell greeted us
A chorus of “hello Miss Bell, good afternoon Mr Wood” was returned
“I didn’t know you were taking part Mr Bond” Mr Wood mentioned
“It was only decided on Monday Sir”
“Right, well I’ll let you girls get changed, I’ll see you inside”
“Come on people, let’s get you ready, we don’t have long” Miss Bell herded us towards the girl’s locker room.

Now I know what you’re thinking but I’ve taken precautions. I put that gaff thing on this morning so I look ‘girly’ down there and they all know I need a ‘bit of help’ up top. The thought of using the girls changing facilities didn’t exactly fill me with the joy it might have, after all I’m a girl as far as the Americans are concerned, and I’ve seen the gang in various states of undress over the last few months – not naked mind, if anyone strips off I don’t know what I’ll do!

“Drew!” Mad whispered holding me back from the others.
“What now?”
“Would you mind changing in the lavs?”
“I’d prefer to but won’t the others smell a rat?”
“I’ll just say it’s Mrs Moon time”
“Mrs Moon?”
“You know, time of the month?”
“Maa-ad!”

She just gave me a look.

“Okay”
“Give us five minutes, then you can come in and finish getting togged up”
“Whatever”

I’m not sure whether Mad was trying to spare my blushes or her own but I was grateful whichever way it was. I snuck into the ladies after a quick check around and after selecting and occupying the disabled cubicle, changed out of my school uniform into the cheering kit.

“You okay Gab?” Sabrina called from the changing room door.
“Yeah, won’t be a mo”

I felt exposed and nervous as I opened the cubicle door, if anyone had come in I would be exposed for sure.

“There you are, you didn’t say it was your time” Brit accused

I was lost now. This is territory I’ve never been in and frankly never wanted to be in.

“You gonna be okay with all this?” Amy enquired
“Er yeah” I offered
“She’s lucky, aren’t you cuz? Hardly a spot most times”
“Huh! Lucky you” Darla mentioned, “I bleed like a pig”

Ew!

Further revelations regarding my friends personal hygiene was postponed by Miss Bell coming to find us.

“Come on girls, Mr Wood is waiting”

We trooped out into the hall, the Yanks in their white and black kit and us in our yellow and blue. Coach put us through a set of stretching exercises then retired to where Mr Wood was sat while we got ourselves ready.

Sabrina counted us in

“After five, five!”

Head up, left arm, right arm, turn, step – I did my best to remember what I was supposed to be doing and I think for the most part I got it right! We jumped, skipped, shook and shouted to our audience of two and after a couple of minutes I was concentrating too hard to worry over what I was wearing or how I looked.

Ten minutes later and it was over.

“Well done girls!” Mr Wood was on his feet clapping and Miss Bell was from her expression pretty chuffed too!

I was fairly breathless, I know I race for a lot longer and I’m pretty fit but this is a session of fairly intense activity, a bit like that session I had over on Manchester Velodrome.

“I’m impressed girls, Miss Bell tells me that you put the routine together yourselves too” Woody went on
“Yes sir” Ally replied for us
“Well I look forward to seeing it again tonight, I can see your coach is itching to get in so I’ll leave you to it”
“Thank you Mr Wood, girls?” Miss Bell encouraged
“Thank you Sir” we chorused

Once the Head was gone Miss Bell gathered us around

“Well done everyone. Amy, you were a bit slow on that second step sequence and Drew, any chance you could lift your knees a bit more in the marching sequence?”
“It’s her period Miss” Amy volunteered; Miss B’s face took on a funny look before she went on.
“Are you okay young lady?”
“Er yes Miss, I’ll try to do the knee thing tonight”
“Well you’d best get yourselves changed, I’m sure Mr Wood doesn’t want to have you running around the school dressed like that, we’re not at home eh Sabrina?”
“No Miss”
“I got you all some hose for tonight, show off all those lovely legs huh?”
“Thanks Miss” Brit mentioned as we each received a package.

Oh tights, I wasn’t sure what she was on about for a minute there! We retired back to the changing room and using my ‘period’ as excuse again I was quickly back in my school uniform just in time to hear the five minute bell sound. Yep lunch was out for today!

 

The rest of the school day was thankfully boring enough to make its telling superfluous so I won’t go into it. When school broke up it was the start of a tightly timetabled evening and bum, I haven’t told Dad about this cheer stuff, he thinks I’ve been just helping out – I wish!

I managed to grab a cheese sarnie when we got home then with three girls and me the bathrooms were fully occupied for the next hour or so.

 

Dad opened the door and I pushed past him and ran up to my room, slamming the door behind me. Somehow I found myself sat on the bed hugging my knees and sniffling away like, well like a girl! I heard some mumbling outside the door then Dad’s voice.

“Drew? Can I come in?”
“Go away!”
“I just want to talk” his tone was even which means I’ve probably blown things big style!

I stayed silent; maybe he’d go away?

“Drew, please?”
“Leave me alone!”

That seemed to work, there was some more mumbling then a number of bodies went back downstairs. I returned to my sniffling and rocking eventually crying myself out in the darkness of my room.

‘So what happened?’ I hear you ask. You really want to know huh? Well I guess I owe you all that much.

Things were going along pretty well I suppose, I told Dad about the cheer squad and he ran the ‘it’s your call’ line on me, no rescue there. So I was resigned to fulfilling my promise to the girls. I dressed myself in that damned cheer kit and after deciding to go totally with it by adding the gold hoops to my ears I joined the others for the drive to School and the party. Dad still had the PT on loan so that was pretty cool and we were soon outside the hall where the festivities were to take place.

“Great, everyone’s here” Coach Bell beamed, “go finish getting ready, Mr Wood has put you as the last group”

For the second time today I followed the others to the girls changing rooms.

“Come on Drew, it might not happen” Mad joshed
“Whatever” I sighed before submitting to her hair and makeup ministrations.

Well Brit might as well have told me earlier, it wasn’t anything drastic just a ponytail, well maybe a bit higher up than I’ve worn before but at least it wasn’t braids! Mind you I wasn’t too keen on the rosette thing that Mad pinned to the back of my head. As we’d all arrived in ‘uniform’ it didn’t take too long to get everyone ready.

Miss Bell was waiting for us when we got back to the hall.

“Wait here for a minute girls, you run to your places when the lights go down, everyone okay?”
“Yes miss”

We watched the lights in the hall started to dim through the glass porthole in the door.

“Okay in you go, have fun”

The light from the corridor gave just enough light to see where we were going and we made it into place without incident. I wasn’t expecting all these theatrics so I flinched a bit when the spotlights sprang to life.

There was a an expectant hush as we waited for our cue then a dance track started up, Sabrina counted us in and it was cheer time! By the time we’d really got going our audience were clapping along and cheering some of our moves. I was even starting to enjoy myself, the atmosphere in the hall was friendly and the spotlights stopped me really seeing the audience. We did our chants, kicks and pom waving and seemingly too soon we were done.

The hall erupted with cheering and clapping and I must admit that it felt good to be part of it. On the way back out of the hall I spotted Dad, Mad’s olds and Sylv talking, apparently with some heat.

“Well done kids, you were a real hit out there!” Miss Bell advised us, “Now go get changed, quickly now”
“You got my stuff Brit?”
“Here you go Gab” she handed me a big carrier bag. Hang on this isn’t right, these aren’t my trousers.
“Brit!”
“Huh?”
“Where are my trousers?
“They weren’t very party Gab, I thought you’d look cute in the dress”
“Gaby in a dress? No way!” Ally chuckled
“Brii-iit!” I complained
“Well sor-ree! I thought you might want to dress up a bit, you’re always wearing trousers or shorts”

I know, I should have seen it coming. Well I had two choices, well three I suppose. Wear the dress, keep the cheer kit on or go home. The dress won out primarily because I wanted to stay and I didn’t want to spend any longer than necessary in the damn leotard! I submitted to Mad redoing my makeup and then the eight of us headed back out to the ‘party’.

So now to half the assembled crowd, those that don’t know Drew, I was ‘one of those cute cheerleaders’, yeurgh! Jules kept smirking at me, Rhod was giving me some funny looks and virtually every other male in the place seemed to be watching me, well maybe the others too, but it felt like all eyes were on me. Mr Wood, then Mr Fredericks gave short speeches, Mr Peters was applauded and finally Deb thanked everyone on behalf of the visitors in a surprisingly good, apparently off the cuff speech.

There was a small finger buffet, which I descended on gratefully; I mean I was starving by this time. The ‘disco’ started up and whilst parents and teachers chatted over glasses of cheap plonk most of us ‘kids’ hit the dance floor. That’s when it started going bad for me.

 

Knock, knock!

Dad again I s’pose.

Knock, knock!

“Drew?”

No it’s Aunt Carol

“Drew, can I come in?”

Well I’d just about got my composure back.

“Okay”

The door swung open, we don’t have locks inside the house, and Aunt C slipped inside, now wearing a sweater and slacks instead of a fancy frock.

“Can I sit?”
“I guess”

She sat on the end of the bed.

“Your Dad was worried,” she stated

There was a pregnant pause (I always wanted to say that!) before she went on.

“He feels really guilty you know”
“Hmmph” I grunted

We sat in silence again; the room was still unlit except for the glow from the security light outside of the kitchen.

 

I was telling you about the party wasn’t I? Where was I, oh yeah dancing. Well you know what happens, sooner or later the girls start on some stupid routine thing and that’s when I took a rain check.

“It’s the first time I’ve seen you in a dress”
“Sorry?”
“I said it’s the first time…” it was Dan
“…In a dress. Yeah well I didn’t intend to”
“You were really good earlier”
“Hardly!” I snorted
“You don’t like compliments do you?”
“Compliments are okay but bullshit?” I let it hang
“So where’s Drew? I thought he was gonna be here”
“I think I saw him earlier” I mumbled
“So you into cheering then” I’ll give him that he’s persistent!
“Nah, my cousin dragged me in to make up the numbers” I ad libbed
“Cousin?”
“Maddy”
“Oh right, Rhod said you were Drew’s cousin”
“Yep, that too.” I confirmed. I do not want any trouble, please!

 

“Drew? You want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of”
“But…”
“He only kissed you Drew. He’s okay by the way, just his pride that took a bashing”
“Serves him right”
“He thought, well he still thinks, that you’re a girl. Boys are like that, they take a chance. Sometimes it works, sometimes not”
“We were just talking then I get attacked with a sink plunger!”
Aunt C giggled at that, “was he really that bad?”
“Worse! Do you think I over reacted?”
“Maybe a little”
“I suppose it was a bit over the top”

 

Of course I created quite a scene by laying Dan out with that right hook! I don’t even know where it came from, but after I let fly I just ran for cover. Dad eventually found me sobbing in the gents, which wasn’t the best place to be wearing a long frock and makeup. I don’t even think most people knew what happened, Dad took five minutes to get it out of me. I know he wasn’t intending to make matters worse but his ‘only a kiss’ statement set me ranting again. Our early departure was then inevitable.

 

“So are you feeling better now?”
“I guess so”
“Well in that case take your dress off, get cleaned up and into bed, you’ve got school tomorrow still”

I was so wrapped up in myself I’d completely forgotten what I was wearing. I know Brit meant well but I would rather she hadn’t swapped my shirt and trousers for a dress and sandals!

“I’ll see you tomorrow okay Drew?”
“Yeah. And er thanks for, well thanks”
“That’s okay Drew”

Aunt Carol slipped out and a few minutes later I heard the Petersmobil depart. Calmer and in a better frame of mind I got myself ready for bed and settled down for a surprisingly good nights sleep.

 

Friday. The last day of the exchange visit, a visit, which is bound to have repercussions for some time to come. I took extra care this morning to make sure that there was absolutely no sign of Gaby about me; today I’m most definitely Drew!

Breakfast was a sombre affair, Brit in particular was very quiet, Deb and Jules were pointedly avoiding any reference to last night.

“Okay, time out everyone!” I declared, “you can stop pussyfooting around, you can talk about last night, I won’t thump anyone!”
“Else!” Jules dropped in which earned her a look
“I’m sorry if I mucked up the party for everyone”
“It was getting a bit boring anyway” Deb stated
“You certainly livened things up girl” Brit agreed
“Old Wooden top was a bit upset,” Jules mentioned
“I suppose I’m gonna be in mega trouble”
“Nah, in fact he asked if we’d do our routine in the assembly thing this morning” Brit told me.
“Count me out!”
“That’s what your Dad said you’d say” Deb told me

 

When we did leave for school I did have ‘my’ cheer uniform in my bag, not to wear but to hand in. Brit was fairly okay about me missing the Sherwood Foresters gig, last nights outburst seems to have produced a more sober attitude. In the end things turned out to be a bit of an anti climax. The reduced, seven girl cheer squad were the hit of Mr Woods Friday assembly, I had a chat with Dan who asked me to apologise to Gaby and I somehow avoided censure by the authorities.

It’s strange to think that on Monday Brit and the girls will be home in Virginia and our American experience will be over, well at least until the New Year. The rest of the day went by too quickly, the cheerleaders, in best American movie fashion, wore their uniforms for the rest of the day, which caused a bit of a stir in our pretty staid school environment.

After school finished, everyone involved in the exchange programme gathered in the library for a private farewell session, the visitors are leaving early in the morning so this meant we could say our farewells properly. Last nights soap opera seemed forgotten, consigned to boy hits on girl, girl objects, boy gets slapped, more like boy hits on boy, boy objects, boy gets thumped! Dan hasn’t had the greatest trip has he?

Miss Bell caught up with me as things were winding up.

“Well Drew, it’s been interesting knowing you”
“Er thanks”

The way she grinned at me had me smiling back.

“You’re something of an enigma you know.”
“I am?”
“Yeah, you mind if we chat?”
“Erm, I ‘s’pose not”
“Lets sit then”

I followed her to a quiet nook where we could talk undisturbed

“When we met six weeks ago I thought you were just a cute looking kid” I felt the colour rising to my face. “At the festival you really surprised me, tackling that purse thief like that and after, I realised there was more to Drew Bond than meets the eye!”
“Um, I guess”
“Then you confused the hell out of me. I caught your race in New Ark, a real gutsy ride but then you turned up in a skirt”
“I couldn’t wear trousers after the crash” I explained
“Well whatever the reason, there are a whole bunch of people out there who think a girl won that event”
“That’s their lookout, I never said I was a girl,” I added
“You didn’t have to Drew, you just, look don’t take this wrong, you look more girl than some girls I know”
“So they tell me,” I sighed
“And then the cheering?”

I was feeling pretty relaxed talking with Miss Bell, so I started to open up some

“You know I’m a boy right?”
“Well that’s what Mr Wood says”

I digested that for a moment before going on.

“Well I am, I know that it’s unusual to find a boy agreeing to all this cheering stuff and dressing as a girl”
“Slightly” she allowed
“Can I tell you how it all started?”
“As you English say, I’m all ears!”
“Well it was earlier in the year….”

I felt at ease with this diminutive woman and I quickly ran through a quick history of Gaby, from the Easter dance affair to the school brochure (Mr Wood had already told her about that!), finally arriving at Brit and Debs cast iron position on my sex!

“Most boys would have dropped their pants to prove their manhood, why didn’t you?”
I flushed a bit, “it’s sort of embarrassing. My you know what isn’t exactly, erm…”
“So your not so big down there, so what. My last boyfriend was hardly Texan in that department!”

I flushed a bit deeper; I did not need to know that!

“Well I couldn’t just drop me kecks in front of everyone could I?”

Miss B chuckled at that.

“You know Drew, the other night in the cheer outfit, I was sure you were a girl, no boy could look that good”
“I did have some help up top and er down there too”
“Oh my god!” she exclaimed stifling a giggle
“It was all for the brochure thing” I finished
“Drew! We’re going” Jules voice broke the quiet
“Okay, just a minute”
“Must be time to go for me too, I’ve got a dinner with your principal”
“Thanks for everything Miss”
“Thank you Drew for being you, it’s certainly added to my enjoyment of the trip. Just one thing before you go.”
“Yes Miss?”
“Who will I see in Grottoes New Year, Drew or Gaby?”
“Drew of course, I’ll sort things out with the Walters before then”
“Well have a good evening, Britney says you’re having a big family dinner later?”
“Yeah, Mad’s mum is doing it”
“Well have fun”
“Thanks Miss Bell”
“Jessica”
“Sorry?”
“I think we know each other well enough to use first names eh? So its Jessica okay?”
“Okay”
“See you in the morning Drew”
“Have a nice dinner Miss erm Jessica”
“Bye Drew”

 

Aunt Carol pulled all the stops out for our farewell dinner, a full roast beef dinner with all the trimmings followed by Summer Pudding and cream. Everyone’s plate was cleared and it helped to offset the feeling of loss that was starting to creep up on me. We relived the highlights of the last six weeks, the highs, the lows, good and bad but eventually it was time to go home.

Once back home I headed off to bed but I had barely got my socks off before there was a tap on the door.

“Come in Brit”
“Howd’ you know it was me?”
“Good guess?”
“Can we, like talk?”
“I suppose so” I allowed, she shut the door behind her and proceeded to sit cross-legged on my bed.
“So what are we talking about?”
“I don’t know how to say this but Deb insisted I do”
“Say what?”
“Promise you won’t be angry?”
“About what?”
“Promise?”
“Okay, I promise. Now spit it out”
“sorryDrewiknowyou’rereallyaboybutwethoughtitwouldbefuntoseewhatyoudidanditallgotoutofhandand”
“Whoa! Hold up there! You mean to say all this thinking I was a girl stuff was a game?”
“I’m sorry Drew, you did promise” there was real fear of retribution in her face.
“Let me get this right. You know I’m a boy. So why all the Gaby stuff?” I was just about holding my cool still.
“Well after you borrowed the skirt when you fell in the river, Deb suggested we see how far you’d go, so we, well you know what we did.”
“So it was all rot. You, you….” I was well past worrying now, “Why didn’t you say earlier?”
“Something always came up, we were expecting you to cave in but you never did. Every time we got you dressed up you just went with it.”
“We? You said we?”
“I promised!”
“So did I, who else was in on this?
“Like all the guys” she cowered as she told me
“Mad and Bernie?”
“They knew and so did Darla, Amy and Ally. But it was mostly me, Deb and Sab.”
“What about my sister?”
“We just told her this week. You don’t hate me do you? Please say you forgive me”

I thought about it for a minute or two, keeping a stern expression. I went through it in my head; I really had fallen for it hadn’t I? Every time they out manoeuvred me. Getting me successively more dressed, the escape route was always there but I took the line of least resistance. On one hand I was really annoyed, on the other I could see why they kept it up. It couldn’t explain why as ‘Gaby’ everyone seemed to think I really was a girl but at least my ‘friends’ don’t really see me as a girl.

“What about Dan?”
“Well he fancies Gaby don’t you think?”
“He doesn’t know?”
“Course not!”

It was well into the small hours when Deb fetched her sister to bed and I got to bed.

I dreamt about Gaby’s appearances over the last few weeks, all the way from emergency clothing to cheerleader. Will I never learn? Drat! I’ve still got ‘my’ or rather Gaby’s cheerleading outfit in my bag, must remember to sort that on Monday.

 

The farewells outside of school next morning were the scene of not a few tears, I was in better a mood than I have been most of the week but it still felt well weird saying goodbye to my friends. The coach arrived to take them to the airport and everyone indulged in even more hugging and crying while the bags were loaded. Then it was time, Brit and the others climbed aboard and we looked at each other through the glass while we waited.

“Drew!”

I looked to see who was calling; it was Miss Bell, Jessica.

“Over here” she beckoned me to the coach door where she was stood.
“Hi, er Jessica, I hope you have a good trip.”
“Thanks Drew. Take this, if you want to contact me, my email and stuff is all on there” she folded my hand around the slip of paper.
“The Walters, they know”
“They do? Mail me huh?”
“You bet”
“Bye Drew, see you at New Years”
“Bye Miss”

I returned to where the gang were waiting to wave the Americans off.

“I thought Gaby might have come” Rhod opined
“She sent me instead! I know guys.”
“Know what?” Mad asked innocently
“Brit confessed to me last night. So ha ha, you’ve all had a laugh at my expense but its over now. Right?”
“It wasn’t our idea” Ally admitted
“Al!” Bernie moaned
“Well it wasn’t”

The sound of the coach starting up drew our attention back to the reason we were here. We watched, shouted and waved as our American friends waved back from their double glazed carriage. Then they were gone.

Maybe things will get back to normal now, for the last few weeks the gang has been sort of split up, our usual lives have sort of been on hold, especially mine! We all arranged to meet up later on; eight o’clock is a bit early after all!

 

Maddy Bell 24.07.04

 

 

I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. We waved Deb and Brit off about half an hour ago and it all seems a bit weird now. It’s weird that I can’t hear the girls bickering. It’s weird that I’ll be going to meet the gang on my own. It’s weird that I’ll be sleeping in my own room tonight.

I listened to Dad’s tuneless whistling downstairs and grinned as I recalled some of our ‘adventures’ over the last few weeks. Those first few days when we were all getting to know each other, a lot has happened since then. I’ve done a lot on the bike, I glanced at the picture of everyone after the National Champs, there’s Sab, Maddy, me, Josh, Jules, Deb, Kristen and Brit on the end. Some day huh!

Floating off into dreamland again, I recalled some more highlights of the Walters stay, the trip to Creswell, Dad trekking us over Ilkley Moor, that cool stop at Duxford, winning the race at Newark and of course the trip to Germany. Then there was the other stuff, ending up in Jessica’s spare skirt at the skating rink, well the whole Gaby thing really. I wonder what would have happened if I’d managed to put my own plan into action, probably not much different, well I guess I’ll never know.

Before last night and Brit’s confession it was just frustrating, now I know it was a plot I’m starting to fume a bit. Not so much at Brit and Deb but at the gang! What were they thinking? I’ll have to get them back, but I’ll make them stew a bit first, a plan started to formulate; I’ll need Rhod in on it I think. Hmmm.

 

“Is that everything now?” Jules complained
“I think so” Dad had set the pair of us the task of changing all the bed linen and moving my stuff back to my room. At least Dad was in charge of the washing machine!
“Great, maybe I can get off now, I’ll get slaughtered if I don’t have my stuff for cookery” Jules fancies herself as a chef, not that you’d know at home!

I checked the time, bum! Nearly twelve and I’m supposed to be at Mad’s fifteen minutes ago.

 

“We thought maybe you weren’t coming” Ally stated
“I was moving back into my room, it took longer than I thought it would”
“It’s a bit sad that they’ve gone really,” Bernie mentioned
“So are you lot gonna continue as cheerleaders?” Rhod asked
“No!”
“Yes”
“You bet!”

Well guess who said no!

“Aw Drew, we’re not much of a team without you” Mad pouted
“Well in case you all forgot, I’m not a girl!”
“Er sorry about that Drew” Ally told me
“Yeah sorry Drew” Bernie added
“Come on, are we going to the Superbowl or what?” Rhod enquired

I looked pointedly at Mad but she was avoiding eye contact and for that matter apologising.

“Yeah come on, it’ll be great with just the old gang!” Ally enthused
“Mad?” Rhod queried
“I guess,” she allowed

 

Five is an odd number for bowling so Bernie devised a system where the A team, that’s me and Rhod, get an extra bowler from the girls team each round. Sound complicated? Well in practice it works pretty well. Somehow the girls still won much to my chagrin and there was nearly world war three when Rhod hinted that Ally had 'pulled' a couple of throws when she was on our team.

We hit Burger King afterwards for a change but there was still a bit of tension running between Mad and me when we got back to Warsop.

"So what're we doing tomorrow guys?" Ally asked
"I’ve got a race"
"I don't suppose you want us along?" Bern mentioned.
"You can come if you want, but no cheerleaders!"
"Spoilsport!"
“You coming Mad?” I asked
“You’re not still mad at me?”
“A bit, but what’s that got to do with it?”
“You tell me”
“Oh stop arsing around you two!” Bernie interrupted, “yes she’s coming Drew”
“Mad?” I queried
“Okay”
"There room for me?" Rhod enquired
"Don’t see why not" I was a bit surprised as Rhod is not exactly a sports fan as you might have noticed. "I’d better let Dad know that everyone's coming"
"What time Drew?" Bernie asked
"‘Bout nine I think, I’ll ring everyone later"

 

We went our separate ways and I broke the news of the extra passengers to Dad over supper. The Chrysler went back today, that's Saturday in case you're not following, so the camper is being pressed into service tomorrow, Dad doesn't trust the car and six of us would have been a squeeze at any rate!

 

“What are you guys up to?”
“Nothing Drew, you just relax” Ally replied

They’d been whispering ever since we left Warsop, being sat in the cab meant I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, particularly as Dad had Radio Two blaring away.

“I know they’re plotting something Dad”
“You’re paranoid son. Relax we’ll be at the circuit in a few minutes”
“I still think something’s going on” I glanced back at my still whispering friends, Dad was probably right, I’m getting paranoid.

A few minutes later we were parked up and Rhod joined me in a trip to the bogs while Dad did his stuff with my bike. The girls? Don’t ask, we left them eyeing up one of the seniors warming up on a turbo. Rhod was uncharacteristically agog with all the pre race activity and it seems that the still warm weather has encouraged a few more riders than usual to have a last fling for the season. There are a few more events before we pack up for the year but this end of the season everyone starts to wind down, me included!

When we got back to the camper the girls were nowhere in sight, probably on their own toilet run.

“They’ll be out for you today son”
“I guess so” I replied
“Why’s that Mr. B?” Rhod asked
“Well first off he’s the National Champion”
“Oh I get it, they all want a crack at the champ”
“Just what I need” I sighed
“The other thing is that the race series is decided today, Drew and two of the others are on the same points so whoever finishes in front wins the whole series”
“Cool” Rhod mentioned
“Thanks Dad, nothing like a bit of pressure”
“You’ll be alright Drew, just ride your own race and stay out of trouble”
“Easy for you to say” I retorted

I spotted John on his way over, never good news!

“Hi Dave, Gaby” he greeted us, winking
“Morning John” Dad replied
“Hi” I glowered
“Brought the fan club again I see, hello Maddy, girls”
“Hi John” Mad’s voice came from behind me.
“I thought you’d like to christen this today Drew” he handed me a poly bag.
“What is it?” I asked peeking inside
“That if I’m not mistaken is your champions jersey” Dad looked at John who nodded in confirmation.
“Wear it with pride, you worked hard for that. I’m not supposed to show favoritism but go and kick some butt!”

I was a bit taken aback by Johns outburst but the gang had no such hang ups and I lost my jersey for a few minutes while they ‘inspected’ it.

 

I was feeling more nervous than ever as I joined the rest of the riders on the start line. It was really weird not wearing my club jersey; everyone was checking me out as though I was someone new. Maybe I was. John started his pre race pep talk and I slipped into dream world! I did my own sizing up exercise, looking the competition over. The usual players were all present plus a few others that I recognised including Nottingham. I continued my pre race prep with Johns voice as background while I started my breathing exercises. I was jerked back to the present by the sound of the klaxon setting us off. I’d got a plan, now it’s time to put it into action. Dad was right, everybody would want a piece of me today and this jersey wouldn’t help my cause either.

I spotted Rhod and the girls on the back of the course and yep, you’ve got it, they were now wearing their cheer kit. They shouted and waved their poms as we went by in a compact bunch, hmm maybe I can use them to my advantage! By the end of the lap everyone was settled and the ‘contenders’ were all sat at the front, apparently waiting for me to do something, well they kept looking at me anyway. For me this is great, I reckon I can out sprint the lot of them so this suits me!

I could see that Nottingham was getting a bit edgy and I chuckled to myself as his nerve went on lap three and he made a break for it. I let the others chase him while I tucked in behind and let myself be dragged along. The less able started to peel off and by the time the escape was contained a lap later we had lost almost half the field. That was me last year but now I’m Drew Bond, National Champion and I smiled to myself as we once again passed my fan club.

We still have a way to go but we resumed a watching brief, albeit with a bit more pace. I took my turn at the front and then found that no one wanted to take over, seems like none of them read the script! If that’s going to be the way, well so be it. I sat up and slowed down and whether they realised it or not I was in control. A couple of back markers made contact again, boosting our numbers to just over a dozen and I could see that apart from the newcomers there were a few nervous faces. They knew I was up to something but what?

The wide airfield roads allowed us plenty of space and we lapped almost in line abreast with me sat out front. Not exactly exciting but I determined it wasn’t going to be me who broke the status quo! When it came it was from an unexpected but welcome source. One of the ‘second rank’ riders tried his arm and soon had several metres but I held my nerve and stayed put. The others were all looking at me to give chase but for a second time, I held back although I was itching to let fly.

They were now getting a bit nervy and confused; here I was not doing anything when by experience they knew I usually tried to get away, often quite early in the race. Dad smiled as we passed the finish area again, I guess he had an inkling of what I was up to. The breakaway was gaining ground and it was Nottingham who once again lost his nerve and set off in pursuit. I waited until my rivals for the series broke before joining the pursuit. Today isn’t about winning the stage but instead the important thing is the series. I reckon that any attempt I make to get away will get jumped on so why bother? No, although it would be nice to win, I just want to beat those two today.

I did just enough to stay with my rivals, up the road Nottingham was up with the original escapee and they were now holding station about fifty metres in front of my group. The girls continued to shout encouragement each lap and soon we were at half distance, the sun continues to shine down on us and I’m sat in cruise control. The situation didn’t change much over the next few laps, another out of contention rider made a bid for freedom and soon there were three at the front, my rivals for the title still watching me like a hawk.

Next time past the ‘Foresters’ I shouted “14” and hoped that Mad understood.

I tried to remain calm for the lap, only five to the flag, as we turned into the back straight again I sighed with relief as I saw the girls starting the cheer. I eased the bunch towards them, lets face it, they were following my every move so it wasn’t difficult! The timing was a bit off but the final flourish from the girls, bums in the air, was enough to distract the right lot, dumb idiots. I used that moment of inattention and made my move, not immediately, no I waited for them to exchange cheesy grins and sit up slightly. Well you know me; I don’t wait for the invite.

I felt good and put my track and testing experience to good use, a quick underarm glance half a lap later confirmed my success. Nottingham and co were still a good bit in front but I was now a reasonable distance away from my rivals, hopefully enough. The girls whooped in delight as I went through, hang on where’s Rhod? Head down, I assumed a semi tuck that Maria had shown me back in Germany last spring. Will my gamble pay off? I concentrated on my riding, legs pumping steadily, breathing even; I resisted the temptation to look back and relished the challenge. The break had now spotted me and no doubt under Nottingham’s influence were turning the screw some.

“Come on Drew!”
“Go Drewbie!”

My fan club were still very much vocal as I crossed them again. Here I am, dangling between the break and bunch with three to go, relax and it’s over. I dug a bit deeper and I swear I could see the gap to the break shrink and still no one had got up to me. Realistically I’m not going to make contact with the break but I have to keep going if I’m gonna take the series. No one in front can affect the overall result but I wasn’t sure my rivals realised that. The girls were gone next time round, no doubt heading for the finish area.

Then I heard the dreaded click of an Sti lever and the whir of another bikes chain and my escape was over. Best laid plans and all that. I checked to see who it was and was surprised to find just one rider, the lad I beat when I won the frameset earlier in the year. So it would just be the two of us. I eased slightly and it was clear that he was breathing hard, if I went now I’d break him. Unfortunately I’m not in any better condition at this point so we rode on with him half wheeling me.

“Ding, ding, ding, ding!”

One lap to go, it’s gonna come down to a sprint and I’ve not got any tricks left! Unless there was a miracle it looks like I’m going to be sprinting for fourth place and I’m not too confident of that either. What happened next you just won’t believe. I saw Nottingham make his move, in theory he should have been able to stomp all over the other two but fate was against him. I don’t know what caused it but instead of sprinting away he was freewheeling and thumping his bars. The other two quickly overhauled him and me and my shadow followed in short order. ‘Yes!’ we were still too far behind to catch the break but going for third is so much better than fourth.

We both knew what was at stake and I realised I was hungry enough to make a go of it, I glanced over, the smirk on his face confirmed that he thought he had it, after all I was lucky before, right? I pretended to fumble a gear change, you can do that with Campag, and he took the bait with 300 metres to the line. Right where I wanted him. The line hove into view and I was glued to his wheel. 200 metres, keep it going Drew, I tracked his wheel as he stood up for his big finish and steeled myself to bide my time. Dad as usual was stood about 50 metres from the line and I jumped as we came abreast of him. Kerchunk! Wow I never noticed that headwind before. The girls were screaming their support as the line zoomed towards us, hang in there, its all going red, there’s the line, push!

Then I was freewheeling and my opponent was behind me, I shook my head to clear my vision, had I done it? It must have been close. I turned off the circuit and headed back towards the finish to find the four girls running towards me.

“You did it Drew!”
“You kicked some ass boyo”

Who said that? Hang on four girls? I managed to get my feet on the floor before I was engulfed. I saw my victim scowl as he pedalled past, he needs more than brawn to beat Drew Bond in a sprint, sucker!

“Whoa, hang on guys”
“Sorry Drew” Ally stepped back and I got a look at the mystery girl for the first time.
“Mfanwy?”
“Er hi Drew” Rhod relied somewhat sheepishly
“This your idea Mad?”
“No it was mine Drew” Rhod replied
“Come on Drew” Bernie interjected, “time to party”

 

Well the official verdict was third by half a wheel, that’s like about a foot. An inch would have been enough. The presentation wasn’t till after the senior race so I had time to get changed and get a Maddy leg rub! Somehow Dad had missed Mfanwy and Rhod reappeared without him noticing anything amiss, I think. They did the race prizes for today first, I slipped my champions jersey on to get my envelope of vouchers and ten quid as I joined the two intrepid breakaways, there was no sign of Nottingham. Then it was time for the series, the prizes went down to tenth so I had to wait as everyone else collected their envelopes. The guy running the presentation must work in a bingo hall, he never shut up!

“…And first overall, by a single point, the new under 14 National Champion, Drew Bond!”

 

I went up to take the plaudits and my cheer squad erupted into an embarrassing cheer.

“Well done Drew”
“Thanks John”
“I think Mick wants a word or two”
“The guy with the microphone?”
“That’s him”
I took a breath, “ok”

Mick took his cue and joined us putting an arm round me,

“Well Drew, that was quite a finish out there, you been reading the sprinters manual?”
“I saw a friend do it in the summer”
“Anyone we know?”
“Tina Porsche in stage four of the Women’s Tour”
“I’m impressed you remembered something like that and that you know her”
“Well she rides with my Mum and if you want to win you have to pay attention right?”
“Well there you go ladies and gents, sound advice from the champ and there’s a few here could do with taking a leaf from your book Drew.”

I started to blush quite heavily.

“I give you this years under sixteen series winner, Drew Bond” and he led a round of applause that only reinforced my embarrassment.

 

It was late afternoon when we got back home, the guys stayed for tea and it was cool with it just being the fab five again. Dad dropped the others home about seven and I collapsed to veg in front of the box for a bit. It was a bit weird really, winning but not being first over the line, I guess its sort of like Mum winning the Tour. Another lesson to learn I guess, first past the post isn’t always the winner! And what’s the crack with Rhod / Mfanwy? I need to talk to him soon!

 

School seemed to be missing something on Monday, that something was Brit and co. with the race yesterday the Americans were pushed from my thoughts but I realised how much I missed not just Brit, but all of them as school sank into a not particularly enthralling round of classes. We never really discussed it, but I could tell the others were having similar thoughts, even Rhod. By the next weekend we were back to some sort of normalcy, no trips away, no ‘talent’ shows, just school, homework and a settling back into school relationships disrupted by the summer break.

For the first time this term I got to notice properly the new haircuts, new cliques and new relationships amongst my peers. Puberty was starting to make itself felt, girls were ‘filling out’ and body hair was sprouting on the lads. I suppose they were happening all the time, these changes, but the six week hols meant that Abby appeared to have grown a sizeable chest overnight and where did Gallows get that moustache from? I guess me and the gang have changed over the summer too.

That weekend was just an ‘ordinary’ weekend whatever that is. I went training Saturday morning and all the gang went up to Worksop in the afternoon. Sunday was ‘family day’, read housework!

 

“What are you still training for Drew?” Bernie asked
“Yeah, I thought you’d finished for this year” Al mentioned
“I need to stay in shape, Mum says a lot of riders take a couple of months off and then have to start from scratch in the New Year. If I just keep ticking over, I’ll not have so much to do later. And I’ve got a few events left, Mums coming home this weekend to ride the charity races with me.”
“Oh cool!” Mad stated
“You sound like Sabbie” Bernie told her
“You never said Drew” Ally accused
“Well it wasn’t certain until last night”
“Don’t you have to enter in advance?” Mad queried
“Yeah, Dad entered us weeks ago but Mum had to negotiate with the team or something. Anyway she rang last night and said it was on.”
“So when’s she get home?” Al enquired
“Friday, then she goes back Monday I think”
“That’s not long, it must be pretty crap without your Mum for so long” Rhod put in
“Yeah it sucks”
“So where’re you riding then? Mad asked
“Ranby on Saturday and Lincoln Sunday morning”
“I’ve got to go and see Dad and Cherys worst luck” Rhod advised.

That’s something else that’s changed this summer. The appearance of Mfanwy and Rhod opening up a bit about his Dad and rels. That’s got to be good hasn’t it?

“Do you get sponsors or something then, we’ll sponsor you” Bernie offered
“No, it’s not like that. We get to slog our guts out but there aren’t any prizes.”
“So how does that make it charity?” Al said what I could read on all their faces.
“Well all the prize money goes to charity instead, Dad says that a lot of people donate money and stuff too.”
“Sounds a bit odd to me,” Rhod stated.

 

The rest of the week round to Friday had the Bond household gripped in ever increasing tension and excitement. Mum was coming home, maybe it was for just the weekend, but she was coming all the same.

“Have you got to pick Mum up tomorrow?” Jules asked Dad
“No, she’s driving”
“That’s a long way,” I mentioned
“Erm, didn’t you see in the comic Drew, it’s not just Mum coming”
“What do you mean Dad?”
“George apparently mentioned that your Mum was coming and Appollinaris thought it would be good publicity if the whole team came and rode, apparently they are starting a campaign in the UK, so there’ll be photographers and stuff as well.”

I could see that Jules was less than impressed.

“But she is coming home here isn’t she” I asked
“Of course she is, where else would she go?”
“What about the others?” Jules enquired
“I think they are in the ‘Motor Lodge’ at Worksop”

 

“So the whole team are coming?” Mad asked as we walked to school next morning
“That’s what Dad said”
“Mum says that she’ll bring me and Bernie out to watch”
“I guess Al’s got other stuff on”
“You don’t know this right?”
“Know what?”
“Ally’s going to Wales with Mfanwy tonight”
“That is so weird!”
“I never told you okay, it’s supposed to be a secret”
“Whatever, it’s still weird”
“No more than when we went to the Con”
“Guess not,” I agreed
“And anyway his Dad thinks he’s a girl so he won’t think it odd for Ally to go will he?”

I didn’t even want to start going down that line.

 

Of course whenever I saw Rhod or Al I started to smirk and it took a lot of self-control not to say something. Fridays usually drag and today was worse than usual, I nearly ran from the Peters road back home, Mums team car was on the drive, my heart leapt in joy.

“Mum!” I rushed in to the kitchen and into Mum’s arms. We hugged and I could tell that Mum was filling up.
“Enough Drew, we have company”
“Company?” the disappointment in my voice must have been obvious.
“Don’t worry, come on they’re in the front room”

They? Mum led the way; I dropped my school bag by the door and followed her through.

“Here you are Kat, I said he wouldn’t be long didn’t I?”

My smack was gobbed, here in our living room was Kat and her Mum and a bloke I thought I should recognise but I couldn’t quite place him.

“Hi Drew”
“Hi Kat”
“Hello Drew” Maria added from the sofa
“Hi”
“And this is…”
I interrupted, “…Erik Zabel” I finally made the face fit to a name!
“Erik, this is my partner for the weekend, Drew”
“Hello Drew”

 

Maddy Bell 29.09.04

 

 

So what is Erik Zabel doing in our living room? Kat and Maria I can sort of understand but a real live Tour de France hero? Mum must have been reading my mind.

“Erik’s riding with Maria tomorrow and with his sister on Sunday”
“Sister?”
“You know Tina, Erik’s her brother”
“But?”
“You’ve confused the poor boy Jenny,“ Maria put in, “Tina uses her mothers maiden name”
“Oh right” I allowed, it still didn’t make sense.

Jules arrived just then and after another round of greetings it was clear that Erik was not exactly hot on the English! Kat, Maria and Mum generally spoke German to him, I got the feeling that he wasn’t that comfortable being here. Dad got home not much after Jules and there was a third round of greetings and introductions. Erik definitely looked a bit wary, I wonder if anyone else noticed?

“So come on kids, get yourselves changed, everyone is meeting for dinner at Salvatore’s. And Drew“
“Yes Mum?”
“Decent please”

I don’t know what she meant by that. Mind you when I looked in my wardrobe I got some inkling, like most thirteen-year-old boys my choice was a bit limited, jeans or cargo’s teamed with a t-shirt. I’ll have to do something about that I suppose but what about tonight?

“Mum!”

There was a clatter on the stairs and Mum poked her head round the door.

“You not dressed yet? Come on Drew we need to leave in a few minutes”
“I’ve not got anything to wear Mum”
“You’ve got a wardrobe full, your worse than Juliette”
“But there’s nothing erm, posh.”
“Lets have a look” Mum opened my clothing store and started shuffling through the hangers. “Hmmm, the only decent clothes in here are Gaby’s”
“Tell me about it” I sighed
“Well it looks like that’s the answer then”
“What is?”
“Here, you can wear this” she thrust a hanger at me, “and I’ll be back to do your makeup in a minute”
“But Mum!”
“No buts young lady. Five minutes.” And she swept out of my room.

I am so not wanting this. I checked to see what I was supposed to be wearing. Shit, sorry about the language but heck! I’m sure the dress was one of Jules, why couldn’t I wear jeans? Still it’s only tonight, I’ll be in Top Man first thing tomorrow. Ten minutes later I was washed, dressed and Mum had my hair up and face painted.

“Here we are” Mum announced

I wanted to crawl under a rock. Kat started giggling and Eric looked even more confused. Mum said something in German to him that resulted in a smile and Maria joined in the conversation. I really need to learn some German.

“Who’s… oh it’s you Gaby” Jules rolled her eyes as she joined us.
“Everyone ready?” Dad prompted
“I think so Dave, don’t forget your bag Gaby”
“No Mum” I sighed, Kat was nearly in hysterics.

 

We drove in convoy up to Worksop; Mum rode with us in our car while Eric and the Pingers followed in the Merc.

“So why do I have two daughters tonight Drew?”
“It’s not my fault” I started
“My fault Dave, I’m not having him show me up in those grungy jeans of his”
“But a dress?” Dad queried
“Have you looked in his wardrobe lately husband mine? The only decent clothes he has are dresses and skirts.”
“I thought you were stopping that Drew?” Dad mentioned
“I was, I am.”
“I think he likes it” Jules put in
“I do not!”
“Stop teasing your sister Juliette” Mum added sternly. That’s a level two warning in case you missed it. Oh Muuum!

 

The restaurant was in chaos, Guido and Stefani were in seventh heaven and Guido’s sister Antonia wasn’t helping much either! Everyone was here, Eric’s sister, Tina, Anja, George, Mike the mechanic, Susan, well everyone plus a couple of others I didn’t recognise.

“Jenny! Maria! We thought you’d got lost” George winked at Dad, “Dave it is good to see you and the girls” Grrr.

We had pretty much taken over the restaurant and the tables were pushed together to make one long one. The other couple of patrons seemed a bit bemused by our party as half a dozen conversations in German, Italian, English and a combination of the three went on in good spirits. Dad was talking to George and Mike, Mum was joining in on about three discussions in both German and English and Jules and I to be honest, felt a bit left out of things.

“So you are in a dress again huh?” Kat observed
“Mums idea” I put the blame elsewhere
“That colour suits you”
“Thanks I think” I moped
“Oh cheer up”
“I wish I knew what everyone was talking about” I mentioned
“Yeah, me too” Jules added

Kat looked down the table, her mum gave a wave from the other end and we all waved back.

“Well Eric and his team riders are discussing the problems that the Bundesliga are having”
“What’s that?” Jules enquired
“Fußball?”
“Oh right”
“Who are they?” I asked
“That’s Paolo Savoldelli next to my mum, Kai Hundertmarck is opposite and the other one is Torsten Hiekmann”
“Wow”
“They all ride, how is it? Together our riders tomorrow. Susan and Tina are talking about someone’s wedding next month”
“Well I’m glad we’re not missing anything then” I joked
“So how come you’re here Kat?” Jules asked
“I am on, how do you say, work placement”
“With the team? Cool!”
“Not so cool” Kat sighed, “I help Mike with the Fahrrad and cloths”
“That’s brill Kat, I wish I could do something like that.”
“You wouldn’t after cleaning all of the bicycles every day and the laundry, phew!”
“It’s not all glamorous Drew” Jules advised
“Yeah well I still wouldn’t mind”
“You do the work place in England?” Kat asked
“Yeah, I got to work at the animal shelter shovelling poo all day” Jules told her
“I do it next year when I get back from America” I put in
“You should ask your Mutter to do this, maybe you come to Germany?”

Just then there was a banging on the table and the conversations tailed off. George stood up and gave a short speech in German that ended with some light-hearted (I think) banter. I really do need to learn some German!

 

It was getting on a bit when we finally left Salvatore's, well after eleven.

“See you tomorrow Maria”
“Okay, tschuss, bye Kat”
“Wiedersehn!”

I was expecting Kat to go with her mum but she stayed with me and Jules.

“Aren’t you going with your mum Kat?”
“I forgot to tell you girls, Kat is staying with us, I thought you could entertain her, Gaby” Mum advised us.
“All yours sis” Jules chuckled

Apparently Kat was already installed in the spare room before we got home from school. Back at the Bond barracks we were all too tired to do much more than go to bed and boy was I glad to get those sandals off!

I couldn’t get to sleep though; there was too much going on. Half the Telekom team and I’ve met Eric Zabel, that’s well cool! Just wait till I tell the others tomorrow. I’ll have to introduce Kat to the guys, pity Ally and Rhod are in Wales. It’s gonna be so cool at the race tomorrow, I bet there’ll be a good turnout, it’s not everyday you get someone like Eric riding the O2!

 

“You getting up Drew?”

Jules voice somehow registered and I jerked awake.

“What time is it?” I mumbled
“Nearly eight”
“Tw’early”
“Come on or I’ll send Mum up to dress you”

After last night that was a heavy threat! I was up and dressed in moments flat! So much for spending time with Mum, straight after breakfast she was off training with the rest of the team, she was riding up to Worksop to meet them.

“Well I’m meeting Charlie, see you two later” Jules disappeared leaving me and Kat to keep Dad company. As usual on race days, Dad was checking my bike out.
“From what I hear Kat, you’ve done enough of this lately. Go on you two, take Kat over to Carols for a bit Drew” Dad instructed.
“Okay, see you later Dad”
“Bye Mr Bond”
“Bye Kat”

We set off for Schloss Peters and I eyed the clouds skipping across the sky with some concern.

“Who is this ‘Carol’ we are going to?”
“My aunt, Maddy’s mum”
“The Maddy you told me in Germany?”
“That’s the one”

We were soon knocking on Mad’s door.

“Hi Drew” Mad greeted me
“Hi Mad, this is Kat, from Germany.”

Kat on her part was stood there goldfishing looking first at Mad then me.

“You all right Kat?” I asked
“You, you are so the same!” she managed to get out

Mad started laughing

“Yeah having Drew about is like having a twin sister”
“Maad!” I tried to shush her
“Oh Drew, I know you are sometimes Mädchen” Kat grinned

Dur! Of course she does, what am I thinking.

“So what are you guys up to?” Mad asked
“Just showing Kat the sights”
“Huh, I’m a tourist attraction now!” my cousin exclaimed in mock horror.

Kat started laughing.

“You are so the same”

Mad joined us as we headed towards The Carr’s.

“So how come you’re in sunny Warsop Kat?”
“I have come with the Fahrrad team”
“It’s so cool Mad, its Kat’s work experience, she’s doing it with Mums team”
“Hang on. Kat. Now I remember, your mum’s a racer too?”
“You know this?”
“Drew has mentioned it once or twenty times!”
“Mad’s just started racing Kat”
“All your family, Drew, you are all crazy for bikes!”
“Not all, Jules isn’t exactly a fan is she Drew?”
“Well she doesn’t ride much these days”

There’s no getting away from it, Warsop is in a different league to where Kat lives and that’s not a compliment. I tried to look at this place I call home from Kats point of view and it comes out lacking on nearly every score. In fact I was a bit embarrassed as we wandered around what amounts to our town centre. Mad and Kat however didn’t seem to notice, they were getting along like a house on fire and seemed oblivious to their surroundings.

My phone broke my reverie with a tinny rendition of Queen’s ‘Bicycle Race’. That’ll be Dad.

“Hi Dad”
“Where are you? I rang Maddy’s mum and she said you weren’t there.”
“In Warsop. Whatsup?”
“Well in case you’ve forgotten you and your mother are riding this afternoon and we are supposed to be setting off in forty five minutes”
“Shit! We’re on our way” I stowed my phone
“What’s wrong?” Mad asked
“Me and Kat need to get home pronto”

We set off at a brisk pace and after dropping Mad off I hurried Kat along, arriving home twenty minutes after Dad’s call.

“What were you up to in town?”
“Showing Kat the sights of Warsop”
“Well you can sight see tomorrow afternoon, go and get yourself changed”
“Yes Dad”
“I must change too,” Kat added

 

Well I don’t think Ranby Village Hall had ever seen anything like it! Bearing in mind that this afternoons events were not usually much of a spectator sport, the presence of the German pro’s had changed things quite a bit. Dad was saying that they’d got special dispensation to put an invitation only event on for the visitors and a select group of home grown talent. As a result there were a lot of people come to watch.

At this end of the season and with no real prizes at stake the atmosphere was pretty relaxed, the pink Telekom car and the Appollinaris bus getting a constant stream of curious and just plain star struck local cyclismo. Only Mum and me and Eric and Tina were in the event proper, riding the two-up, the rest of ‘our’ group were in the invitation 10. The four of us finally got out for our warm up session and I was surprised that we started to do some bit and bit together. Eric’s demeanour had changed, he seemed more relaxed and gave me a wink as we rotated. The adults chatted in German as we headed towards Retford and once again I vowed to learn some.

We turned and Eric and Tina set off on their own.

“You okay Drew?”
“I think so”
“Well come on then, let’s go”

Mum led off and I tucked in behind, we changed every fifty revs and soon had a smooth rotation going. I was certainly warmed up by the time we arrived in the improvised holding area under the A1.

“You lead off Drew, I don’t want to lose you at the start”
“No chance!”
She grinned at my confidence, “well if you start feeling the pace tell me and I’ll do double turns okay?”
“Okay”

We were waved over to the start, as I said, Ranby has never seen anything like it. The Police had coned off a start lane and there was a good crowd of camera toting fans watching the start. Not only that but there was not one but two TV crews set up too – awesome as Brit would say! All this and its only ten miles. Eric and Tina set off a couple of teams in front of us and the cameras went off like New Year fireworks.

Mum and I started our breathing exercises and we both descended into race mode. We moved up to the line and the pushers took us with a minute to go; we were starting at two-minute intervals. I settled down and glanced over my shoulder at Mum who grinned back.

“Thirty seconds”

I became aware that the watching crowd had hushed as the timekeeper called ten to go.

“Five, four, three, two, one, go!”

I pushed off and the gallery started shouting encouragement. I forgot to count my revs but Mum was more focused and as we started to descend I got my act together. The whole ride was a bit of a blur, Mum took longer turns on the climbs but I was pleased that I seemed to be holding my own for the most part. I was amazed at how many people were out watching, a few had even managed to string up banners on the Blythe flyover. After what seemed far too short a time we reached the finish area where a good crowd was gathered.

“Last effort” Mum told me and I joined her in a fifty metre sprint for the line then it was over and I could freewheel at last.

The rest of the afternoon was a bit of a blur, Eric rode the invitation event as well and it felt really good to be part of all the excitement. There’s one thing for certain, Barnardo’s was going to benefit well from this and it wouldn’t do cycling any harm either. One of the camera crews was working for Appollinaris, the other was the local BBC crew and they both seemed to get everywhere. Mum was cornered by both of them for interviews and the BBC even interviewed me!

The actual results were pretty much forgotten but I got a bit jiggy with the 21.25 I did with Mum, which placed us third. Eric and Tina were fastest with 20.03 and a local pair just took us by ten seconds for the runner up spot. Eric stole the thunder for a second time when he set a new course best of 18.22 and the rest of the German pros were under 20 minutes too along with a couple of the other invited riders.

Mad, Bernie and Aunt Carol managed to find us some time later and I had to do the introductions to the bemusement of the Germans. I’m glad that Kat was with us, she managed to smooth the way for the girls to do some autograph hunting, I thought Bernie was starting to drool a bit when she met Kai.

 

“Well I think that woke people up a bit,” Mum stated as we started the short drive back to Warsop.
“You can say that again luv!” Dad agreed
“It is not like this always?” Kat asked
“No way Kat! We’re usually lucky to get a handful of spectators”
“So this is good ja?”
“Ja, I mean you bet”
“I think it was pretty shrewd of George to put up those spot prizes, really enthused everyone” Dad noted

 

Although we had Kat staying, tonight was going to be a family night, dinner at home and some quality time with Mum. As Jules had skipped the race she got landed with starting dinner and for once she wasn’t moaning. We got home to the smell of Bolognese sauce and a steamy kitchen.

“You kids changing?” Dad enquired
“I need to shower,” I pointed out
“Well don’t be all night Drew, this’ll be ready in ten minutes” Jules stated
“Okay already!”

Mum beat me to the upstairs shower so I grabbed some clothes and returned downstairs to use the bike shower. I did the deed in double quick time and was drying myself when Dad called me to dinner.

“Come on Drew, it’s on the table”
“Won’t be a minute”

I grabbed my t-shirt and pulled it on, hmm, must have grown, it’s a bit tight. I picked up my jeans only they weren’t! Shit, shit, shit! How did I manage that, I’m sure I picked up my jeans, not this, this skirt. And I hope they’re not, bugger they are, flipping knickers!

“Drew? We’re waiting!” Dad hollered from the dinette
“Coming” I sighed

Okay so I’ve got two choices. Wear the damned skirt and panties and brazen it out or make a run for the stairs, risk exposing myself and Dad’s ire and get some trousers. The skirt won on a technicality, I didn’t want to risk giving everyone a full frontal at the dinner table after all, I pulled it on and slipping into my shower shoes went to join the others.

“There you are, perhaps we can eat now” Dad stated
“Leave her alone Dave, she’s here now” Mum smirked
“Well you can do something with that hair young lady” Dad instructed, much to both Kat and Jules amusement.
“Yes Dad” I sighed accepting the pink scrunchy Mum had on her wrist. By the time I had my locks in a passable ponytail Dad had a plate of spaghetti in front of me and I realised that I was pretty hungry.

 

“So you like the rock?” Kat asked
“Huh?”
“Sorry rock is the German. Skirt, you like the skirt?”
“It’s okay, I thought I’d picked up my jeans though”
“Nice top sis” Jules mentioned

I had to look didn’t I? Grrr, it was no wonder it was a bit tight, it was Jules ‘Hello Kitty’ top! I’ve been had good and proper haven’t I?

“I did pick up my jeans didn’t I?”
“We couldn’t resist” Jules giggled
“Well ‘we’ would have preferred it if you had” I sulked
“Oh come on Drew, it’s only a bit of fun” Mum put in

Now was not the time to throw a wobbler so I smiled sweetly and finished my spag bol. Dessert was one of Aunt Carol’s apple pies after which I got to make the coffee. I was a bit torn over spending time with Mum or with Kat but Kat herself solved that when she spotted my scrapbook.

“Can I look Drew?”
“‘Course, there’s not much in it though”
“He’s too modest Kat” Dad told her, “You should see the one he’s doing for his mum too”
“It’s on my desk if you want to look Kat”
“Thanks Drew”

 

I’d pretty much forgotten what I was wearing and I cuddled up on one side of Mum, Jules on the other. Hmmm, I like this, I was almost purring as Mum stroked my hair and chatted with Dad.

 

Mum insisted I get an early night with the 25 in the morning so I went up about ten. Bum! Kat was asleep on my bed clutching my scrapbook, gently snoring. I heard Mum and Dad getting a bit friendly next door and Jules was in the bath, what the hell do I do? I carefully rescued the scrapbook and eased the duvet over my friend. Whatever she was dreaming about produced a cute smile on her face, no way could I wake her. I know, I’ll use the spare room.

Sugar! No jarma’s! Do I risk going back? “Ping!” the room descended into darkness as the light bulb chose that moment to expire. I groped around in the dark and on the way to the door my hand fell on something that felt like a pile of clothes. Of course, the washing, I should have a pair of pj’s here somewhere. After a bit of groping, by which time my eyes had adjusted to the dark I located what I was looking for. I quickly changed clothes and got into bed and I was out like a lamp!

Maddy Bell 02.10.04

 

 

“Up and at ‘em Drew”

I glanced over to my clock, urgh six o’clock! There was a sigh and a shift of the mattress and an arm landed over my shoulder. What the… oh sugar! The events of last night came back in a flash, the sleeping Kat, going to bed in the spare room. But this isn’t the...

“Drew? Have you seen Ka…t” Mums voice trailed off as she poked her head around the door and took in the scene. “Drew Bond, downstairs. Now!”

Kat barely stirred as I disengaged her arm and followed Mum out; I am in deep doo doo.

“This better be good young man, what am I going to tell Maria?”
“It’s not what it looks like” I whimpered
“And what does it look like?”
“Like me and Kat slept together?”
“Well?”
“I didn’t mean to, it was an accident”
“You got a girl in your bed by accident?”
“No, I mean yes. Well it wasn’t an accident but I wasn’t in bed with her”
“Well sor-ree! It sure looked like it to me!”

This is not going well. Not well at all. Then it clicked, I remember now, I got up for a pee and I must have just gone back to my room on reflex. I told Mum the events of last night and what I thought happened, she didn’t look completely convinced.

“Hmm, well it would account for you wearing your sisters pyjamas”
“Oh shit!” a glance down confirmed that I was indeed wearing a pair of Jules lavender pj’s.
“Nice colour Drew” Kat mentioned
“We’ll finish this later young man, go get yourself ready”

I scurried past a bemused Kat

“Morgen Jenny”
“Morgen Kat”
“Did Drew use my room last night? I woke up in his bed, I must have fallen asleep looking at the Sammelalbum.”
“The what?”
“Scrape book?”

 

There wasn’t quite the same turnout this morning when we arrived at Lincoln racecourse but there were certainly a few extra bikes about, we saw a group from one of the Sheffield clubs heading towards the Dunford Bridge, Dad gave them a toot as we led our little convoy across the Trent valley.

Twenty-five miles this morning, me and Mum on the tandem, everyone else riding solo. Mum was obviously still a bit pissed at finding me in bed with Kat, the drive over had been quiet, I don’t think Mum has told Dad yet and Kat doesn’t seem to know either! Least ways she’s not saying anything.

“I don’t know what’s up with you two but I didn’t get up at half five on a Sunday morning for you to just go through the motions” Dad huffed as Mum continued giving me the silent treatment.
“You’re right Dave, we have a job to do, this can wait till later”
“Maybe you can get it out of your systems while you’re riding”
“Yeah maybe” Mum didn’t sound convincing.

The tandems were off last so we had a ride up the ring road as warm up and the concentration needed to get the old girl up the long drag cleared my head and Mums as well I think. I got a real rush as we swooped back down at something like forty miles an hour, whooee!

It was a bit cool this morning although the sun was doing its best to make an appearance. We shucked our jackets, Kat taking charge for us as we awaited the off. We were seeded number two from the thirteen tandems at start number ten and unusually we were starting at two-minute intervals rather than the usual one for tandems. The early starters in the solo event were already starting to get back in some numbers by the time we were called to the line.

 

“Come on Drew, not far now” Mum called back as we swept off of Saxilby Bridge three quarters of an hour later.
“Urgh” I grunted in reply.

Mum really was carrying us this morning. Whether it was as a result of yesterdays ten or simply that she is so much fitter I don’t know but it didn’t feel this hard last time we raced the tandem! I tried to concentrate on pedalling, to at least put something into it but Mum was the one supplying most of the power. I was barely aware of the last couple of miles and it was only Mums gasped ‘10’ that alerted me to the finish. I stopped pedalling, not a good idea when your partner is still going at it! My legs were jerked around but luckily Mum realised what was happening before we came to grief.

“You okay son?” Dad asked as we eased to a halt back at the car park.
“I think so”

He took hold of the bike while we dismounted, I got about two steps away before I collapsed, my legs were like jelly! Mum caught me before I was all the way down and she was quickly helped by Kat in manoeuvring me to the back of the Appollinaris minibus. Maria took charge of my care and I was soon wrapped in blankets and sipping at a cup of steaming tea.

“You okay Drew?”
“Better thanks Maria. Is Mum okay?”
“Oh your Mum is fine, just upset at pushing you so hard”

It wasn’t as crazy this morning, only one TV crew and fewer cameras and the Telekom guys were clearly enjoying mixing with the grass roots end of English cycling. I watched the good-humoured Anglo – German banter and noted to myself that this is how it should be; the pros should be accessible to the fans.

“How’re you doing?” Mum asked
“Okay now, my legs were like rubber”
“Sorry I pushed you so much, I didn’t mean to. I guess I got carried away”
“How’d we do?”
“Hmm, so so”
“How so so?”
“Well Erik beat us”
“Come on Mum”
“How does 51.23 sound?”
“Fifty…”
“One twenty three” Mum confirmed sitting down next to me and slipping an arm round me.
“Yee ha!”

My whoop of delight drew some amused looks.

“So what did Erik do?”
“50.58, I think we’ve got a convert to English style testing there” Mum chortled
“So who was fastest then?”
“Well put it this way, we did the second fastest time this morning”

The little cogs in my noggin ground that information around for a bit before I got it.

“We won?”
“If you put it like that, yep we won” Mum gave me a squeeze.

 

“So you are not Krank?” Kat enquired
“Nah just a bit knackered”

Kat looked a bit puzzled but smiled anyway

“Maria, can I have a word” Mum steered Kat’s mum away from the bus.

 

I’ve no idea when it was organised but we all descended on Aunt Carols for dinner, and when I say all I mean all, Erik and the lads, all the girls, George, Mike and of course the cousins Bond! And she did us proud, roast lamb, Yorkshire pud, roast tatties and all the trimmings with a good helping of bread and butter pudding to follow. I was in heaven and by the appreciative looks around the table, I wasn’t the only one! In fact it turned into a bit of a party, Bernie came over and joined Mad in embarrassing me even further in front of Kat. Thankfully Jules pyjamas weren’t mentioned and I intend to keep it that way, particularly in front of Mad.

“So when do you go home Kat?” Bernie asked
“We take the Fähre, you say ferry boat?”
“Ferry” Mad confirmed
“Yes ferry, it is tomorrow evening, we arrive in Niederlande Tuesday”
“So what do you think of England?” Bernie enquired
“It is my first time here, it is nice” either she was a very good actress or she was being truthful.
“Is it anything like where you live?” Mad put in
“It is very different, we have the Weinberg and the hills”
“We’ve got hills,” Bernie mentioned
“It’s more like sort of Peak District hills where Kat lives except they have all these vineyards on them,” I told the girls
“Cool” Mad noted, “better than our coal tips”

About three everyone loaded into the cars and we headed to Nottingham. Well not quite everyone, the Telekom boys were going back to the hotel and then off for a training ride. Remember I said they were doing some publicity stuff for Appollinaris? Well this afternoon was a photo session. The afternoon had turned into one of those bright late summer days and Nottingham was still fairly busy with Sunday shoppers and people just out enjoying the sunshine.

We all went up to the castle, Dad and John Peters arranged for us to take the vehicles up, so the riders and their entourage, bikes and all were quickly at the rather nasty building that Nottingham’s burghers erected to replace the medieval castle. Kat was looking wistfully down at the town and Dad must have spotted this.

“Drew, why don’t you and the girls go and explore, there are enough people here and this could get a bit tedious. Just be back by six eh? If we are done before we’ll ring you okay?”

Kat’s eyes lit up

“Yeah okay”
“Here” he thrust a tenner in my hand, “get some ice cream or something”
“Cheers Dad”

This time it was Bernie’s face which showed interest!

“Let me get my camera” Kat told us as she dashed to the minibus. We spent a few minutes exploring the castle grounds then we headed outside.

 

“What’s down there?” Kat asked pointing to where a few people were sat on the grass.
“Dunno” I admitted, “we only go to the shops when we come”
“Looks like some statues” Bernie told us as we walked round
“It’s Robin Hood” Mad mentioned
“Those must be the Merry Men over there then”
“What is this Robin Hood?” Kat asked pointing to the statue of the folk legend.

So between us we gave the five-minute version of the story.

“You take my picture Drew?”
“Sure”

I squinted through the viewfinder and lined Kat and the Hood up. Click! One photo of Kat and the outlaw.

 

“Come on, let’s see what else is down here” Bernie enthused setting off down the hill.

There were quite a few people at the bottom and when we reached them we discovered the reason, ‘Ye Olde Trip To Jerusalem’ which claims to be the oldest pub in England, it said 1189AD on the wall but I’m pretty sure the building's not that old, well it doesn’t look 800 years old!

 

Kat snapped a few more pictures and after a visit to the tourist info place next door we spotted an ice cream van. It was pretty neat sitting under the trees watching the world go by. We were each lost in our own world as we devoured Mr Whippy’s finest. I mused on the day’s events, Sunday Dinner at the Peters was well cool and riding the tandem with Mum again was good, and we were fastest! All in all a good day and now this here in Nottingham, hmmm. I smiled to myself as the late afternoon sun warmed my face, mind you I still have to clear up the bed business with Mum, she was well pissed this morning and I didn’t even do anything!

My phone started it’s musical alert and I slipped it out of my pocket.

“Hello”
“Drew?”
“Who else Dad?”
“Yeah right. We’ve just about done so start heading back okay?”
“Roger, on our way”
I ended the call, “time to go ladies”
“Hark at her” Bernie smirked
“What?”

By the time that we had walked back up to the castle everything was packed away and without further ado we set off to return to the wastes of north Notts. The rest of the squad headed up to Worksop, the Peters returned home to clear the mess from dinner and as we had used the Merc to go to Nottingham, Maria was joining us for the evening.

 

“So Drew, you have a good time this weekend?” Maria asked as we both filled plates from hastily prepared buffet that was replacing tea.
“Yeah, it’s been brill riding with Mum again”
“You miss your Mum?”
“You bet” we walked out into the garage where I collapsed down on the old sofa.
“It must be hard with her travelling. Kat is lucky, she can often come with us and we are together at home”
I sighed deeply “I wish Mum was at home more”

We both sat picking at our food for a minute

“Are you looking forward to tomorrow?” Maria started
“Not really, Mum’s off again”
“Who’s off again?” Mum joined us
“You haven’t told him?” Maria accused
“Well a certain ‘problem’ put me off” she gave me a look.
“What?”
“What your mother hasn’t apparently told you is that we are coming to your school in the morning”
“Really? Why?”
“I promised Mr Wood I’d do it but it’s sort of escalated somewhat” Mum appeared embarrassed.
“But don’t you have to go to ferry?”
“We don’t sail till about six from Hull so we’re here pretty much all day”
“Great. So what exactly are you doing at school?”
“There’s a special assembly first thing then we shall be helping in some of the classes”
“My friends will laugh at me being teacher” Maria chuckled

 

You can bet that I made sure that I was in the right bed, alone last night.

“You didn’t join me last night,” Kat whispered as I took a mouthful of corn flakes, which I just about prevented from spraying across the table.
“I, er”
“Sorry Drew” she slapped my back as I started to choke.
“I didn’t think you...”
“Of course I knew. No one could sleep through the noise you make getting in bed”
“But why didn’t you…?”
“Maybe I like the idea of sleeping with you?”
“What are you two whispering about?”
“Nothing much Mum”
“Well get a move on or you’ll be late, your sister’s already left”
“Aw, can’t I come with you”
“No, now get on. Are you packed Kat?”
“Just about Jenny”

I finished my cereal and grabbed my bag still a little taken aback by Kat’s revelation.

“I’ll see you before we leave” Mum advised me
“Okay” I gave her a hug that I didn’t want to end.
“Come on, off you go”
“Bye Drew” Kat added
“Bye”

 

Well I guess you could say school was a bit weird. Mum took the special assembly, telling us about her life after leaving the school in the spring. Mr Wood had obviously been busy as the new projector system was showing pictures of Mum and the team racing and training; I guess George had supplied some of it. Afterwards there was a Q&A session and I was surprised by some of the questions my fellow pupils asked. Of course there were the expected ‘how much do you earn?’ sort of things but some of the older students who Mum would have taught asked more thoughtful things like ‘do you miss your family?’.

I’ve no idea what all the riders got up to but Tina helped out in our Geography class, we were doing volcanoes and she did a good job telling us all about the Eifel area.

“Drew?”
“Hi Tina”
“I thought it was you but all the other girls are wearing the rock?”
“I ah, how come you know all that stuff?”
“I did my degree in Geology, I will do my doctor when I finish racing”
“You coming Drew?” Paul’s voice boomed in my ear
“Yeah, in a minute”
“See you soon again” Tina told me
“Yeah oh and good luck at the World’s”
“Thanks Drew, tschuss!”
“Wiedersehn”

 

Mum found me after lunch.

“Not too embarrassing was it?”
“I guess not”
“I’ve already seen your sister, your turn now”

We hugged for a while.

“Don’t go”
“I’ve got to Drew”
“I don’t want you to”
“I know you don’t but I have to”
“I guess”
“Look I’ll be back in a few weeks, we can go out training together just like before”
“Uh huh”
“And keep out of girls beds!”
“But I told you, it was a mistake!”
“I know, I believe you! Even Maria saw the funny side when I told her”
“You told Maria?”
“Well I had to, Kat is her daughter”
“I suppose”
“And Kat doesn’t know does she?”

Well yes she does!

“Er no”
“So we’ll put it down to experience eh?”
“Okay” I agreed. “Mum, why did Erik come to the house on Friday?”

Mum seemed a bit unsettled by the question.

“I just thought you’d like to meet him”

There was obviously a lot of stuff she wasn’t saying but I decided not to pursue it.

“Best watch the local news tonight” Mum went on
“Why?”
“Well they were filming on Saturday”
“Oh yeah, I’ll tape it just in case”
“I have to go Drew, I need to talk to Mr Woods”
“Bye Mum” she gave me another squeeze, “good luck on Saturday”
“Thanks Drew, they’ve got me down as joint favourite so I’ve got no chance” she chuckled. The afternoon bell sounded and I joined the scramble to get to registration.

 

I was a bit maudlin the rest of the day. I couldn’t concentrate on the lessons, instead my mind was on Mum, the weekend, Kat’s comment this morning, Mum’s evasion when I asked about Erik. Clive saved me from a detention in old Beech’s class and I was just so mixed up that I was really happy when the final bell went.

“You coming to tea Drew?” Rhod asked
“I need to go and set the video first”
“What for, there’s never anything on on Mondays”

I explained about Saturday and the TV crews.

“You can do that at mine, mum won’t mind”
“Okay then, so what did you and Al get up to this weekend?”

 

Maddy Bell 04.10.04

 

 

“Never!”
“Straight up Drew. Al was rolling round the floor in hysterics when I told her.”
“So Cherys thinks you were having a period?” I chuckled
“It’s not a laughing matter Drew”
“Oh come on Rhod, lighten up. You’ll have to keep a diary now”
“What for?”
“So you know when it’s due”
“What do you mean?”
“Girls always know when they’re due”
“How come you’re so expert?”
“Jules?”
“This is just so gross!”
“And putting someone else’s knickers on isn’t?” I shot back
“It was an accident! And why would I want to know something that’s not happening?”
“Well Mfanwy, Cherys will think it funny if you never have any more and she’ll remember”
“How do you know?”
“Mum always knows when it’s Jules time”
“Has he told you about the time of the month yet?” Ally chuckled as she joined us.

Looks like Rhod is in another hole now!

 

We made our own toasties for tea and of course Mfanwy’s ‘time of the month’ was repeated for Mad and Bernie’s benefit. Rhod set the video for the news and Sylv joined us for a slice of the cake Rhod’s Gran had sent back with Mfanwy.

The local news started and I shushed everyone to watch. Surprisingly they actually devoted almost five minutes to the event. There was a good mix of interviews and racing shot’s, Mum and Eric got most of the attention but I got the last word, which was an embarrassing ‘brill’. That was about all I got in my excitement at being on telly, at least we had it on tape.

“Can I have your autograph Drew, you’re so famous” Bernie mocked
“At least I got on the box”
“Oo-ooh, little miss wonderful” Bernie replied
“Girls!” Sylv cautioned
“Sorry Drew” Bernie mumbled

 

I managed to get Rhod on his own before I left.

“Can we talk?”
“Sure, what about?”
“Not now, tomorrow yeah?”
“Okay, I guess”
“You staying all night Drew?” Mad called back
“Just coming”

 

“So what was all the whispering about?”
“Nothing”
“Oh I forgot to ask you before what with your Mum and all that”
“Ask me what?”
“Well if you fancy going to another con in a few weeks”
“I don’t have to go as Her-me-o-ne again do I, coz I’m not!”
“Course not”
“When is it then?”
“Just after Halloween, it’s only at Sheffield so we don’t need to stay over”
“Sounds okay I guess”

We were soon at the Peters and Mad took me by surprise when she planted a kiss on my forehead.

“Oh don’t forget your kit tomorrow”
“What kit, PE’s on Wednesday”
“Blondes! Cheer practice?”
“Mad, I said I wasn’t doing it”
“Oh come on Drew, Miss Bell has sent us a video and all sorts, it’ll be fun. Drewww?”

Why me?

“Okay but I’m not wearing that outfit”
“Of course not silly, just bring your badminton kit”
“See you in the morning”
“Night Drew”

 

“I’m dead”
“Don’t be so melodramatic Drew” Dad intoned
“Why not? It’s just been on national telly!”
“It’s only the local news and no one at school watches it” Jules smirked
“Your sisters right”
“Yeah and I’m Madonna”
“No, she said you were Gaby quite clearly” Jules snorted

Grrr!

“Look Drew no ones going to say anything, they probably won’t notice anyway”

Yeah like that’s gonna happen.

 

The house seemed strangely subdued with Mum gone, I sloped off to my room and got my stuff ready for school. She’s done it to me again hasn’t she? Badminton kit, she means the skirt and stuff, well I’m not falling for it this time. I pulled out my athletics kit, ha ha. Bum! It stinks! Damn, damn, damn! I rooted round for some alternative sports kit but the best I could manage was my equally smelly rugby kit. I’ll just say I can’t do it. I picked up the mucky kit and shoved it in the washing basket making a mental note to do the wash tonight.

 

I got up early and made the most of the dry weather by putting in a forty-five minute training session up to Carburton and back through Norton and Cuckney. There’s one thing with riding, it gives you a chance to think things through in peace, I felt pretty relaxed by the time I got home. I showered and while I waited for the kettle I collected the washing and put the machine on, at least I’ll have clean kit for PE tomorrow.

 

“Here, don’t forget this” Jules chucked my games bag to me as I made a dash for the door. I caught it by reflex and juggled toast, bags and blazer as I headed out the door followed by Jules who locked the house up. It’s not cool to go to school with your siblings is it? So I trudged along behind Jules and her Discman as far as Maddy’s road.

“Hi Jules”
“Hi Mad” Jules barely looked up from her magazine as she hummed along to some boy band and disappeared up the road.
“Morning Mad”
“Drew”
“Mum’s booking Ayacon for us today”
“Great”
“Well don’t sound so enthusiastic then”
“Sorry I was thinking about the weekend”
“Your Mum huh?”
“Yeah”

We walked along in silence the rest of the way to school.

 

I managed to get Rhod on his own for our chat during morning break. I ran my idea past him but he said he needed to think about it. Well I guess that’s reasonable.

 

“So where are you lot doing your practice then?” Rhod asked after lunch
“Mr Wood says we can use the drama studio until six” Bernie advised
“Yeah, no loud music and we have to tell Pongo when we leave” Ally added
“Isn’t there supposed to be a teacher present or something?”
“Mr W is gonna check on us himself this week but he said he’s lining up Miss Cowlishaw to look after us in future”
“Cool” Rhod noted

Bum! Miss Cowlishaw is 100% babe! She takes us for double art and all the boys in the class fancy her something rotten.

“Yeah, he’s quite enthusiastic about it” Ally went on, “he was hoping to let us do cheering instead of regular games but he’s got to talk to the governors first.”

Just what I need. Not. The call to registration sounded and I still hadn’t told them I wasn’t doing it.

 

“There you are Drew, come on we’ll be late” Al enthused as I slipped out of History.
“Al, I can’t”
“Course you can, come on”

I followed in her wake to Room G23, otherwise known as the Drama Studio where we joined Mad, Bernie as well as Miss Cowlishaw and Mr Wood.

“There you are, shut the door and grab a chair,” Mr W instructed

We joined the others and Mr Wood waited for us to settle.

“Okay ladies, I’ve spoken with Miss Cowlishaw here and she has agreed to act as tutor for the group. That means that this is now an official school activity, which we will be opening up and running like any other school team. Yes Madeline?”

“You mean like the netball team?”
“Just like the netball, football and rugby teams. There will be school colours and I gather competitions as well. In addition you will represent the school at other inter school competitions but we’ll discuss that at a later date. Miss Cowlishaw, do you want to have a word?”
“Thanks Mr Wood. I thought it was an all girl group”
“Mr Bond will convince you it is”
“Okay. Well as Mr Wood has said, this is now an official group, we have agreed to restrict it to twelve members initially, there will be recruiting posters going up and try outs, I think that’s the term, in a fortnight. You four are the lucky ones, you are already in and I’ll be relying on you to help out, after all you know far more than I do about this stuff although I will be doing some research. Ally?”
“So will it just be girls then Miss?”
“Mr Wood?”
“We can’t stipulate that these days but we don’t expect too many boys wanting to join”

There were sniggers from Bernie and Mad.

“The other thing is that for now only second and third years will be allowed to try out. We’ll be reviewing that position later; we hope that this will encourage more girls to be more active. Any more questions?”

I’ve been backed into a corner again!

“Okay, I’ll leave you with Miss Cowlishaw who I am sure has some questions”

Mr W made his exit leaving the newly formed school cheer squad alone.

“Okay, Mr Wood say’s you are quite good already”
“We were taught by the exchange students Miss”
“So I’ve been told. I think we’d best start with seeing what you can do. I take it you need to change?”
“We’ve got our warm up stuff” Mad indicated her bag
“Okay then, pop off and get changed, I’ll just pop to the staff room, five minutes?”
“We’ll be ready” Ally enthused

 

“Er guys, I er haven’t got any kit”
“So you’ve been toting your sports bag around empty all day? You don’t bail on us that easy Gabrielle”
“Maa-ad”
“So what’s in your bag Drew?”
“Dunno”
“Du-ur!”

I opened my kit bag and pulled out the contents. What the? Jules! You’ve guessed it ’my’ badminton kit was folded neatly on top of my trainers and poms. What’s this? Urgh! A pink towel!

“No kit huh?” Bernie smirked
“I rang to remind you this morning but you were out training. Jules said she’d make sure you didn’t forget”
“Cheers”
“Come on lets get changed, Miss Cowlishaw will be back soon” Ally mentioned.

 

“Is that you Drew?” Miss Cowlishaw enquired checking me out. The girls had done a job on me that’s for sure. Jules had included a bra and my falsies in with the kit, Al and Mad insisted on putting my hair into a pony tail and Mad ‘just happened’ to have some ‘spare’ earrings. Yep, Gaby’s back.

“I’d never believe it!” Miss C shook her head and I just blushed.
“It’s Gaby Miss” Mad advised
“Mr Wood did say but I didn’t believe him. How many people know about this?”
“Only a couple in school Miss” I admitted
“But loads of people know Gaby, she’s even got a boyfriend” Bernie told her
“I have not!”
“Clive fancies the pants off you” Ally agreed
“Does not!”
“Hold it girls! Well I suppose I’ll get used to Gaby. In future though you turn up as you are now, I think the fewer who know about this the better don’t you?”
“Yes Miss” I agreed. Oh yes.
“Right lets see this routine then”
“There were eight of us before so there’ll be some gaps Miss” Mad pointed out

Ally started the tape and we took our places and started.

 

“That wasn’t so bad was it?” Mad enthused as we left the others
“On a scale of what?”
“Oh come on Gab, you enjoyed it really”

Like a hole in the head!

“I’ll have to mail Sabbie later”
“Whatever”
“Mum’ll be dead chuffed. Imagine getting school colours too”
“Yeah, I can really go round wearing that” I mentioned to no one in particular
“So have you finished racing now?” Mad asked
“Not quite, I’ve got a couple of hill climbs the next few weeks and Mum reckons I should have a bash at some ‘cross”
“Hill climbs I get but what’s cross?”
“You know, riding across fields and stuff”
“Mountain biking?”
“Sort of but you do it on different bikes, more like road bikes”
“I think I’ll give that a miss”

 

Well at least the rest of the week was uneventful. Mum rang on Thursday and we had a good chat, better than we got at the weekend actually! She’s doubling up for the individual time trial and the road race next week; Maria and Tina go for Germany, as does Eric.

 

“10 seconds”

I took a deep breath and stood on the pedals

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go”

The climb loomed in front of me, just over 600m of uphill averaging 20% but with a steep of 25% near the top. I punched the pedals and soon I was into oxygen debt, the red fog descending. A few watchers cheered as I climbed and then I was onto the false flat to the summit and the finish.

“Easy Drew, don’t try to get off, take some deep breaths”

I stood on jelly legs, heaving lungs full of air while Dad supported me and the bike. That hurt! I finally recovered enough to get off my bike; by the time I was changed it was all over. That’s one thing with hill climbs, they’re over quickly!

“That’s not bad Drew, 2.16”
“Yeah I guess but the winners taken nearly half a minute out of me”
“He’s a specialist, he was fourth in the national champs last year”
“Yeah but 1.48!”
“You’d best do some training for next week, you’ve got four climbs”
“Four?” I gasped
“Two up near Hull on Saturday then two near Matlock on Sunday”
“Urgh!”

 

After a pretty boring day, we were at Bernie’s on Monday night.

“Do you reckon there’ll be many at the tryouts next week?” Al asked
“Dunno, I’ve heard a few people talking about it” Mad supplied
“Me too” Rhod joined in, “everyone in metalwork thinks girls turn into super babes when they put one of them uniforms on”
“In their dreams” Bernie snorted
“Well Clive’s already convinced Drewbie is” he went on
“Is that the bad news?” I queried
“Nah, the bad news is he’s been telling everyone that Gaby’s a cheerleader and his girlfriend”
“He what? I’ll knock his head off” I exploded
“Calm down Drew” Mad suggested
“I thought he was my friend” I went on
“Drew he doesn’t know it’s you remember” Bernie put in
“Yeah, so don’t act odd or anything with him, only Gaby can sort it out” Ally added
“Gaby needs to sort him out in public” Mad mused
“How comes you know and I don’t Rhod?” I asked
“Well he knows you’re related I guess”
“Just don’t do anything rash Drew, we’ll sort him out the girl way”

I simmered for the rest of the evening; even the girls talk about cheerleading washed over me. Rhod seemed quite attentive but I guess Al is his girlfriend. I mean if Gaby wanted a boyfriend it would not be Clive, he might think he’s gods gift, now Michael Grady in the fourth year. Sugar! What the hell am I thinking about?

 

Maddy Bell 05.10.04

 

 

“Well girls, it looks like there are plenty of potential cheerleaders,” Miss Cowlishaw stated as we got ready.
“Can we see?” Mad enthused
“Don’t see why not,” she said passing the list over

 

“Sasha Stevens, Sarah Atkinson, Tara Johnson, Jennifer Creswell” Maddy intoned
“She must be a second year,” Al mentioned
“These others must be too,” Mad stated
“Susan Moore is Joanne’s sister” Bernie told us
“They’re nearly all second years,” Mad pointed out
“Lets hope no ones superstitious, there’s thirteen here” Ally advised as she passed it back to Miss C.
“And we only need eight girls remember” Coach Cowlishaw reminded us. “You’re quiet Gaby”
“Yes Miss”
“Boy trouble Miss” Bernie put in stifling a laugh
“Well come on, we’ve got a lot to do before we finish tonight” Miss C instructed

By the time we left for home we had honed our primary routine some and worked out some moves for the tryouts next week. We were a bit late and Pongo (Mr Porteous, the caretaker), rushed us out so I ended up walking back to Mad’s place in the badminton kit, it was all right for the others, they could just pull their uniform skirts on over!

 

“Saw your cousin last night” Clive mentioned at registration
“Mad?”
“No dummy, Gaby. She was wearing a real short skirt, those legs! Ooh!”
“That’s me-y cousin you’re talking about”
“Sorry Drew but you must admit she’s a right babe”
“Never really thought about it, where’s Paul”
“Dentist I think. Gaby’s got perfect teeth” he sighed
Rhod was right; he does have a Gaby fixation!

 

Big thing for me today is Mum’s time trial at the Worlds, I hope she wins.

 

“I am not gonna end up going home in that badminton skirt again!” I huffed as we walked back to Mad’s.
“Well that’s easily solved”
“Yeah I stop this cheering lark, I never wanted to do it in the first place”
“You’ve got to Drew. For me? The tryouts are next week and we need you.” Mad fluttered her eyelashes at me
“Just next week then I’m out” so there! Somewhere there the subject of me in the badminton skirt was sidestepped.
“So you watching your Mums race at mine, mums doing Tagliatelle Carbonara”

Now that is tempting

“I’d best check with Dad first”

 

“Come on Mum, you’re up on Vinelli!” I cheered the telly some time later. As there was quite a time difference with Mexico we were watching it almost live. Mum had drawn a late start as a high seed and was going like billy-oh! Sheesh was it only last week that I was riding with her, the speedo on the screen was showing 50km, and she was flying! We got glimpses of other riders finishing, Maria finished in provisional third but there were still a few riders out on the course including Mum.

Aunt Carol stuck a glass of D & B in my hand, my eyes never moved from the screen in case I missed anything. Duffer was getting wound up and excited, Paul Sherwen was doing his best to remain calm as Mum went through the last time check ten seconds down on the Italian who is the defending champion. The riders behind were now effectively out of contention, only Mum could lift the crown from the big Italian. I know that countless thousands of British cyclists and sports fans would be cheering her on.

The kilometres went by along with the seconds, the coverage was concentrating on Mum as the last title contender and the tension in the Peters living room as well as the commentary box was intense. It was going to be close, they had Vinelli’s ride up on the screen for comparison now, they were riding just about second identical, Mum spinning a slightly lower gear as the uphill finish started taking it’s toll. Then ‘BANG!’ it was all over. With under a kilometre to go Mums rear tyre exploded.

“Oh no it’s all over Jenny Bond, so near but so far” Duffer intoned
“She won’t give up though David, she’s still going” Mr Sherwen pointed
out

I was almost in tears as I watched Mum with grim determination struggle to keep the bike upright around the last corner. The crowd were going bananas!

“She can still take the silver,” Paul told us as we watched the final metres.

The clock counted down and finally it was all over. Mum scraped second by 2 seconds, 35 seconds down on the now jubilant Vinelli.

“Well that was quite something Paul. Have you seen anything like that before?”
“It’s the sort of ride we’ve come to expect of Jenny”

The screen was showing a distraught Mum being consoled by British officials; it was pretty emotional in Mexico and Church Warsop! Of course the director kept repeating Mums blow-out at which point Aunt C turned the TV off.

“Enough, lets get you home Drew”
“Yeah”
“It was just luck Drew” Mad consoled as I collected my school bag
“I guess so”
“There’s always Saturday”

Aunt Carol drove me the short way home to where the Bond household was still tuned to Eurosport. Not the best night for the Bond family but at least Mum was okay and she did still get the silver!

 

“I know, you need a boyfriend,” Ally stated
“I do not!”
“Well not you obviously, Gaby” she clarified
“Al’s right Drew. If Clive thinks you’ve got a boyfriend he’ll back off,” Bernie explained
“I’ve never heard such a hare brained idea. And just where do I get this ‘boyfriend’? Date is Us?”
“That’s the beauty of it.” Ally went on, “we only have to tell him, I mean you’re supposed to live in Creswell so he’ll never find out the truth”
“I think Gaby still needs to show him up” Mad put in

Urgh!

“Keep me out of this” Rhod told us
“Hey, what about Halloween?” Mad suggested
“What about it?” I had to ask
“Yeah, Gaby can go to the dance, we let Clive know she’s going then when he comes on, wham!” Ally enthused
“There won’t be any Gaby by then” I stated

The girls exchanged looks.

“Yeah right!” Bernie mentioned

 

The weather has already started to turn autumnal; the winds are coming from the northwest and getting stronger. Not like over in the Caribbean, they’ve had a hurricane this week, I’ll stick to what we’ve got! Dad’s had me out doing some specific training for this weekend, there aren’t any proper steep hills near us so I’ve been sprinting up and down the lanes with a rucksack full of tinned food on my back! After the disappointment of Mums time trial on Wednesday, this weekend has high expectations for our household. Thursday and Friday were both uneventful, life for Drew Bond has been as normal as it gets these days.

Dad and me set off for the Yorkshire Wolds mid morning, no supporters club today, the gang all had stuff to do.

“We will be back for Mum won’t we?”
“For the twentieth time, yes” Dad was getting a bit fed up now. “It’s not on until seven o’clock, we’ll be back well before then.”

I won’t bore you with a blow-by-blow account but my ‘special’ training seems to have worked. The first climb was near Market Weighton and I romped up the 1134 metres in 3.14.18 only 5 seconds behind the winner and good enough for third place. Then everyone moved a couple of miles south for the second, longer climb. I dropped a couple of places to fifth with my 5.23.41, they go to 1/100th’s on hill climbs, but I retained my third overall for the two climbs. I could get to like this.

“The girls coming tomorrow?” Dad asked as we joined the M18.
“Only Mad and Bernie”
“We’ll use the car then, the lanes are a bit narrow for the camper. You want to ring and order a pizza, we’ll collect it on the way home, about six”
“Triple cheese?”
“Whatever you fancy but get a small Hawaiian for Jules”

 

We were a bit later than planned due to an accident on the A1(M) near Blythe but we were all sat waiting for the Eurosport coverage to begin at five to seven.

“You join us on lap three of ten of the Women’s Elite road race. I can tell you that all the main players are sat in the bunch including unlucky Jenny Bond whose puncture cost her Gold in Wednesdays time trial”

It cut to an interview with Mum

“I heard it go obviously and I just thought ‘girl there’s no time to change bikes, just go for it’, so I did”
“So close though?” Paul Sherwen noted
“I could see my time and Vinelli’s over the line and watched it just slip away”
“You think you’d have done it without the puncture?”
“I do, it would have been close, maybe five seconds but I went from 50k’s to barely 40”

“We saw you struggle on the corner,” he noted
“That was a bit scary, I thought I’d lost it there”
“Do you know what caused it?”
“A thorn Paul, when we checked the front tyre there were two in that as well”
“Thanks Jenny”

It cut back to today’s race.

“There’s been a terrible pile up on the descent of the Olpas, I can confirm that all the Brits are back on their bikes and are chasing the leaders who all missed the crash”

We watched in silence as Mum and the other girls valiantly tried to get back to the front group. It was clear however that the others weren’t in the same league as Mum and were tiring fast. Only Tina riding for Germany was giving much help. As they completed lap five the gap was two minutes, I spotted Maria up the front, Vinelli was there too and it looked all over for Mum.

“Another puncture Paul”
“Yes, there seem to be a lot of thorns out there and thorns respect no one”

We watched as Maria stopped and waited for a wheel from an overworked neutral service, Mums group were nearly on her by the time she got going again.

“That’s three members of the German Appollinaris squad in there now, not a good day for them.”
“They’ve had a terrific season, Bond’s Tour Feminin was obviously the high spot but they are clear winners of this years Gerolstein Cup with over 40 wins”
“But not today Paul”
“Don’t write them off yet David”

As if on queue Mum and the two Germans made their getaway and started to chase down the leaders. Where twenty were making no impression, three certainly seemed to be. It was a case of team over nation as the three of them worked smoothly together and the gap started to drop. A Worlds medal would be good for the squad, any colour and any rider, it doesn’t matter, and so they plugged on.

“Two to go Paul and the chasers are only thirty seconds down”
“The leaders seem a bit reluctant to react, Vinelli looks comfortable there, three more Italians in there with her.”
“And no Longo now”
“No she climbed off at the bottom of the climb so there’s no one to really trouble the Italian at the moment”
“What’s this Paul?”
“Looks like the Appollinaris girls have done it David, there might be a race here yet”
“And renewed British interest. If you’ve just joined us the good news is that Jenny Bond has just rejoined the leaders after she was involved in a huge crash a few laps ago.”

The Mexican heat was obviously taking its toll and it was pleasing to see Vinelli surprised as Mum and the girls came through. At least they were in with a chance now, however slim! You could cut the tension in our lounge with a knife as the race went into the final stages. Then the unexpected, it started to rain!

“Will this change things Paul?”
“I think it will David, the north European riders are used to the wet, it doesn’t rain that much in Italy and Spain.”
“Vinelli already looks unhappy”
“As well she might”

The pace clearly dropped, as riders were unwilling to take chances at this stage. Only ‘our’ riders looked happy, Tina was obviously pretty tired but Mum and Maria seemed pretty fresh. From here on it’s every woman for herself.

“This could be quite a finish”
“They’re into the last kilo and one of the Italians has made an attack, I can’t, it’s Vinelli herself!”
“That’s the German, Porsche chasing her, where’s Bond?”
“Biding her time David, Vinelli’s a spent force."
“They’re going from a long way out Paul”

I was beating seven shades out of a cushion as the remaining Italians led the sprint that soon engulfed Tina and Vinelli. One of the Italians skidded slightly on the greasy road which unnerved some of those behind, not Maria or Mum though. Two hundred to go and there were still five riders in with a chance, Mum was number five! Everything seemed to go into slow motion. Mum was searching for a way past as time was running out, a gap opened as one of the remaining Italians peeled off right and the missile that was Mum shot forward.

“She’s done it Paul“
“I’ll wait for the photo I think David”
“Well it was certainly close, one things for sure, Bond has a second medal, is it Gold or Silver?”
“It’s Gold David, the judges have put it at a tyre”

“Mum won the cup, Mum won the cup, ee I ally o, Mum won the cup!” I sang as all three of us danced around the room.

 

“Shush! They’re doing an interview” Jules hushed us

“And here she is, the new Women’s Elite World Champion, Jenny Bond. Jenny, first well done”
“Thanks Paul”
“Did you expect this?”
“After the trial I was really fired up but I thought it was all over with that crash.”
“Any idea what happened there?”
“There was a touch of wheels and some inexperienced riders”
“That’s always a danger here” Paul agreed, “We saw you trying to get a chase going”
“Well you have to try right? I think we were holding the break but there was too much dead wood to be effective”
“And then your Appollinaris team mate punctured”
“Yeah we caught Maria, I got the other Brits to block and we took off”
“Team orders?”
“No just mutual interest Paul”
“And the finish?”
“I got boxed by the two Italians so it was a bit last minute”
“A tyre was the verdict”
“Maria will be pissed, oops sorry”
“You’re the first rider to take Tour and Worlds since Longo in ‘95”
“Not bad for an oldie eh?”
“Anything to say to your fans?”
“Thank you all for your support this year, obviously my sponsors, Appollinaris, British Cycling, thanks John and of course my family back in the UK. Give ‘em what for tomorrow Drew!”
“Your cycling offspring?”
“Yeah, Drew’s riding the Matlock hill climbs in the morning”
“Thanks Jenny. Now back to the studio.”

There was a brief glimpse of someone coming and giving Mum a good hug, it looked a bit like Eric Zabel.

 

“You’re racing up that?” Bernie enquired
“Yep”
“But it’s just so steep”
“That’s the whole point”

In truth I wasn’t too keen myself. Two hairpins and over 14% all the way up, Riber Hill, a classic course. And being Sunday there were already a good number of spectators claiming their spots on the ascent. It also attracted a good field, over 80, a lot of the serious hill climbers ride today’s duo of events. On Dad’s advice I walked the hill rather than rode it before hand, you could hardly stand upright on most of it! There was a bit of damp on the tarmac and a few soggy piles of early leaf fall would need to be avoided.

I watched a few riders claw their way up and realised this was going to be hard with a capital H!

 

“And in second place with a time of 2.36.23, D Bond”
“Go Drewbie!”

I went to receive my prize to a polite round of applause, how different to the other week when Mum was home. No TV crews, just a couple of amateur photographers.

Then just like yesterday, the whole circus moved a few miles up the road for the Rowsley Bar event. Although it has got a steep section this is more to my liking, a roadies climb. After my success earlier my confidence was high and I grinned as I overheard more than one group discussing the events in Mexico.

I was certainly glad that I was on gears not fixed like the purists. There was a strong tail wind that I was able to take advantage of on the lower section before hitting the steep middle section where the crowds were gathered. I pumped the pedals purposely and actually caught my minute man just before the finish.

Dad caught me at the top and I gasped air with a vengeance.

“Second again Drew” Mad beamed as she and Bern joined us

The guys in first and third at Riber had swapped places so by a quirk I only took third for the two hills but there were barely five seconds between the three of us. For the time and effort involved, hill climbs are quite lucrative; I cleared over ten pounds a minute in prize money, seventy-five quid!

“I should have entered you for more” Dad mentioned as we returned to the car
“Is that it then?”
“No you’ve got Monsal Head next Sunday”
“Only one?”
“You were complaining yesterday”
“That was before”
“Is he always like this girls?”
“Always” Mad replied
“Anyone in a rush to go home?” Dad asked
“Not really Mr B” Bernie answered
“Maddy?”
“Nope”
“Well how about we go get some lunch at Monyash and I’ll take you to Arbor Low this afternoon”
“I like the lunch bit” I chipped in
“Sounds okay, what’s Arbor Low?
“You’ll see” Dad advised.

 

“Last time I was here the pub was called The Hobbit” Dad mentioned as we walked from the car park to the hostelry.
“I suppose Monyash sounds like it should be in one of the books,” Mad agreed

The Bull was a bit of a let down inside, I was expecting wooden beams and a cosy atmosphere; instead the dining room was pretty ordinary, verging on Berni. Most of the other diners were ‘up for the weekend’ from down south somewhere, you know, too much money and too many kids who swarm uncontrolled by their parents. The good thing was the food, well it was okay and in ample supply, Bernie only wanted an omelette but I had bangers and cheesy mash, Dad went for the Sunday roast and Mad settled on liver and onions.

It was well gone two when we returned to the car for, as Dad put it, some culture. We drove up out of the village.

“So what is this Arbor Low thing Mr B” Bernie tried again
“Derbyshire’s answer to Stonehenge”
“Like big rocks?” Mad enquired
“You’ll love it”
“We went to Stonehenge on holiday last year.” Bernie told us

Dad and his archaeology!

We turned into a farm lane and joined a couple of other cars in the tiny car park. We put our jackets on, the wind was cool up here and a few grey clouds were threatening some liquid sunshine. Whatever we were expecting we didn’t get. I was thinking visitor centre and tearoom, what you get is a farmyard and a bucket to pay!

Dad led the way past the cowsheds and manure and across the fields to the quiet henge enclosure.

“Is this it?” I asked, “I thought you said it was like Stonehenge”

A handful of standing stones at one end and more laid flat on the ground in no way compared to England’s most famous archaeological site.

 

“The experts reckon this might have been more important even if it’s not as flash”
“What’s that over there?” Mad asked from her vantage point on top of the bank.

We clambered up to join her.

“Gib Hill, it’s a burial mound, maybe older than this. There used to be a Roman road just a bit further over too.”
“So how old is this thing” Bernie asked
“At least 4000 years old”
“4000?” Mad queried
“Well it could be older, no one knows for sure”
“So how comes it’s up here? Wouldn’t it be easier to have it somewhere easier to get to” I enquired pulling my coat around me.
“Survival. There might have been some lower down, maybe near home but a lot of this sort of thing have disappeared, they get ploughed out, built on.”
“Right” Mad nodded
“You can see for miles up here,” Bernie told us hunched into her jacket.

We joined her and Dad pointed out other archaeology and points of interest. Our visit was cut short by a sudden squall and we headed back down to the car. This really is the end of summer!

“Careful Drew” Mad cautioned
“I’m alright”
“Drew!” Dad shouted

Too late. I tripped on a bit of wire as I ran down the field and went flying!

 

Maddy Bell 06.10.04

 

 

“Shiiiittt!”

SPLAT!

“Drew are you okay?” Mad asked
“Ew!” Bernie exclaimed

I sat up and rubbed my ankle, twisted but not broken. My landing was soft but not what I’d choose! Yep I was now coated in cow poo and sat in the little stream running across the field.

“Come on Tarzan, let’s get you home”

I squelched back to the car, everyone else keeping their distance!

“Well you’re not getting in the car like that” Dad stated, “You’ll have to put your bike kit back on”
“I’ve got it on underneath”
“Hello” a little voice called out, “is she alright?”
“Just wet, smelly and maybe a bit wiser,” Dad replied to the woman in the VW bus parked a few yards away. “Just need to dry him off and get him home”
“You got anything to wear?” she asked
“Only a blanket” Dad admitted
“Poor luv, hang about I might have something for her” she climbed into the back of the bus and started scrabbling about.
“Dad” I hissed
“You fancy an hours drive in a blanket?”

Mad giggled

“Here we go, it’s not exactly high fashion but it’s warm. Come on love you can change in here, pop that stuff off, there’s a bag you can put it in”

Why me? Again! What could I do? What would you do? My wet bum made my mind up for me.

 

Ten minutes later I emerged from Maureen’s van, that was her name, Maureen, dry and fully clothed without a layer of cow dung. In truth the stuff wasn’t too bad if a little erm, eccentric? Why she had this stuff in her van who knows? For that matter who cares? I’m warm and dry even if I do look like an Oxfam reject!

Bernie and Mad were doing their best to stifle their laughter. I gave them a look but that apparently made it worse.

“Thanks Maureen, we’ll send them over after Drew’s washed them,” Dad told my ‘saviour’.
“No rush Dave, go easy on her”
“Well thanks again. Drew?”
“Yeah thanks Maureen”
“It’s alright Drew luv, glad I could help”

Maureen gunned the veedub into life and with a toot on the horn, bounced off down to the road.

“Come on you lot, lets go home” Dad sighed

 

“Cool outfit Drew” Jules stated apparently with some sincerity.
“Your brother had a bit of an accident and we managed to borrow these togs for him”
“They thought he was a girl huh?”
“We never mentioned it”
“Oh come on Dad!”
“Okay so maybe Maureen thinks he’s a girl, but no harm done eh?”

I took the bag of wet and smelly kit through to the washer and it was soon on the way to recovery.

“…Thanks Caroline, I’ll tell him when he reappears. Talk to you later”

Dad hung up

“Who was that?”
“I thought you’d got lost”

I climbed into my favourite chair and pulled my legs up.

“Drew!” Jules hissed indicated down below.

Oops, I forgot I was wearing a short skirt; I readjusted it so I was decent.

“Caroline, she says that she’s got a cross bike for you if you want it. Nothing special but if you have it she wants to see you riding it.”

Caroline’s not much is usually a lot. Remember her cast off mountain bike I’ve got? The Klein?

“Yes please!” I enthused
“I guessed you would, we’ll fetch it on Tuesday evening”
“Great”
“Oh I nearly forgot Dad, Mum rang earlier, she’ll ring again later” Jules mentioned.
“How is she?”
“Okay I think, she said there was stuff she needs to talk to you about”

Sounds ominous.

 

“So Drew goes flying,” Mad told her audience of Rhod and Ally
“It’s not funny,” I growled
“It is so” Bernie joined in
“I could have got hurt”
“You should have been more careful” Mad pointed out
“Whatever. Everyone round for tea?” I asked
“‘Course” Ally answered

The first bell ended the conversation and another exciting week was under way. Of course, Mr Woods’ spy had been out again so I got the ‘aspire to this’ treatment for my hill climbing prowess and of course Mum got a more than passing mention too. The day went steadily downhill from there; more rain and I burnt the lasagne we were having for tea.

“Don’t forget, Miss C wants us in our uniforms tomorrow for the tryouts and don’t forget to bring some stuff to change into” Mad reminded me when we dropped her off.
“You doing something at school tomorrow night Drew?”
“Oh bum, Caroline and the bike. We’ll be finished for six, is that too late?”
“I’ll pick you up from school and we can shoot straight off, I’ll let her know we’ll be a bit later than I said”

 

To say I wasn’t greatly enthralled by the prospect of this evening's cheering tryouts would be to understate things – a lot! I remembered to get my uniform out and I stuffed the bag of Maureen’s stuff that I needed to post at lunchtime into my sports bag. I pulled a change of clothes out of the wardrobe for later and was interrupted by Jules calling up the stairs

“Stop farting about Drew, we should have left ten minutes ago”
“I’m coming”

Just then my phone went

“Are you coming this morning?” Mad asked
“Just leaving now”

I picked up my bag and blazer and crashed downstairs

“You’ve got your uniform?” Mad still on the phone asked
“Yep, see you in a mo” I closed the call and followed my sister out.

 

When do things go according to plan? It started lashing down just before lunchtime so I put off the Post Office job and joined the others in the canteen instead. The girls kept rabbiting about the tryouts; I just rolled my eyes when I caught Rhod looking at me. Personally I just wanted this evening over with, then I can quit! That cheered me up, excuse the pun!

I forgot to tell you before, Miss C’s stipulation that I arrive a la Gaby meant a little subterfuge and the use of the girls lavs in the craft block, well I could hardly risk appearing as Gaby from the boys facilities could I? Why the craft block? Well it usually clears of students pretty quick and it’s not far from the Drama studio. I was a bit surprised therefore when mid change I heard someone come in.

“Bloody stupid idea!”

The voice seemed familiar but I couldn’t put a name to it. There was the sound of clothing being removed and then some grunting.

“Soddin’ bra straps, whoever invented them should be made to wear one”

I stifled a laugh. The activity continued for another couple of minutes.

“Hmmm, not bad girl, not bad.”

I do know that voice! No, can’t be. The door swung shut and I let the breath I’d been holding out. I quickly finished changing and after a quick check in the mirror I followed the mystery changer out into the corridor.

 

“There you are Gaby, you’re late”
“Sorry Mad”
“Come on we need to do your make up and hair”
“Maa-ad” I complained as she dragged me behind a screen where the others were doing their own faces.
“Hi Gab” Ally chirped
“Hi” I sighed submitting to Mad’s ministrations
“Come on team, I’m letting them in now” Miss Cowlishaw called out.

There was shuffling and a babble of excited voices as the potential recruits filed in.

“You’ll do, hang on earrings”
“Do I have to?”

Mad’s look said enough, I found my wallet and produced the hoops which Mad soon had secured in place.

“Come on”

I followed the others out, boy do I feel stupid! We started our warm ups under the gaze of the hopefuls that Miss C was currently identifying with name tags. I spotted Sasha and Tara, a few of the others I vaguely recognised but didn’t know names. They were dressed in a variety of sports kit, from approximations of a cheer outfit to a Man U. strip!

“Okay girls, everyone find a seat” Miss C started

She started to go through an abridged version of what things were about and then what tonight’s process would entail. I continued checking out the recruits trying to put names to faces.

“Who’s that?” I nudged Bernie
“Which?”
“That one at the back, on her own”
“Don’t recognise her”
“She looks familiar” Mad whispered
“Oh my god!” Ally gasped
“What?” Bernie hissed
“It’s Rhod, I mean Mfanwy”

It was Rhod in the bogs! What is he up to? I have to say he looked pretty good, better than me. No one seemed to be taking any notice of the stranger, I guess the second years thought he, I mean she was a third and visa versa. In fact if I didn’t know I’d think she was cute.

“Don’t say anything” hissed Mad
“Okay everyone, our four seniors will show you what to do then we’ll see what you lot can do” Miss C finished
“That’s us,” Bernie stated

Great! The music started and the four of us took position.

Mad counted us in and we went through the short routine for the first time.

 

“Amanda, Mfanwy and Gillian” Coach called out and Ms Morgan nervously joined the line up. We were taking it in turns to lead the groups and it was Bernie’s turn.

“What class is Mfanwy in girls?” Miss C whispered
“Three B I think” Ally whispered back and Coach just nodded scribbling something on her pad.

One thing you couldn’t deny, all the candidates were enthusiastic, some had two left feet, no co ordination and terrible timing, but enthusiasm wasn’t lacking! Finally it was over and Rhod slipped away before we could corner him / her.

“Meet me in my room at lunchtime tomorrow please and we’ll go through and select the rest of the squad”
“Okay Miss”
“See you tomorrow girls”
“Night Miss” we chorused
“I need to change, Dad’s picking me up at six,” I told the others turning towards the lavs.
“We’ll wait for you” Ally offered.

I tried the door, it wouldn’t budge.

“It’s locked”
“Are you sure?”
“Well you try it” Bernie gave the door a shove, it was locked alright.
“You’ll have to change out here,” Mad told me
“I can’t do that!”
“There’s only us here, no ones gonna see and we’re not going to look” Ally advised
“Okay” I reluctantly agreed opening my bag. “Shit, shit, shit!”
“What now?” Mad sighed
“I left my jeans and stuff at home”
“So put your uniform back on,” Bernie suggested
“Yeah, right” I agreed. “Bum!”
“Drew, come on, stop arsing around”
“It’s not here”
“What’s not?”
“My uniform”
“What do you mean?”

I slapped my forehead

“I must have left it in the cubicle earlier, I got distracted when Rhod came in to change”
“You really do make blondes look bad Drew” Ally mentioned
“Sor-ree”
“Well haven’t you got anything else in your bag?” Mad asked

I turned my bag out. Nothing. Nada.

“What’s in the package?” Bernie asked
“Maureen’s stuff, I was gonna post it at lunch time. I’ll have to ring Dad I s’pose and tell him not to bother” I slumped
“Hmmm” Mad looked thoughtful. “You don’t want to go out in your cheerleading kit right?”
“Yeah”
“And you really want to go pick up this bike?”
“Uh huh” I agreed
“Well it’s obvious”
“What is?”
“You’ll have to wear Maureen’s stuff”
“No way!”
“Why not? It was okay on Sunday”
“There wasn’t much choice on Sunday” I pointed out
“There’s no choice now either” Bernie stated

I thought through what Mad said, I could cancel but I really wanted to see Caroline and it really would be off to not go and pick it up after it was all arranged. On the other hand the only clothes I’ve got are the cheerleading togs I’m wearing or the stuff I borrowed from Maureen.

“I can’t go in that stuff”
“Why not, just pretend to be Gaby, say Drew had to stay at school or something” Ally suggested. “And I want to see what you look like”
“Come on Drew, hurry up or Pongo’ll lock us in” Mad added

 

“Drew?” Dad asked pushing the car door open.
“It’s a long story” I sighed as I slung my bag in the back.
“I hope it’s a good one” Pater stated as we headed up the A60.

 

“Sorry we’re late Caroline, the traffic was heavy on the M1.” Dad apologised
“That’s alright Dave, come in. No Drew?”
“There was something on at school that he forgot to tell me about, this is er Gaby, his erm cousin”
“Hi Miss Alexander”
“Oh call me Caroline, you interested in bikes Gaby?”
“A bit”

She led us through to the sitting room.

“Coffee Dave?”
“Please, I’ve come virtually straight from work”
“I’ll fix you a sandwich,” she offered
“You don’t have to”
“No trouble. Cheese and something?”
“Thanks”
“You want to give me a hand Gaby?” she instructed
“Er sure” I followed her out to the kitchen
“When your mother told me I thought she was having me on, nice outfit by the way”
“Mum?”
“Come on Drew, I recognise that look. You had it as a bairn and you still do”
“I’m not…”
“Stop it! I’m not going to spread it around, I’m surprised but your secret is safe with me.”

I slumped onto a kitchen stool.

“Come on kiddo, tell your Auntie Caro all about it while you do the coffee” she gave my shoulders a squeeze.

 

“Here we go Dave”
“Cheers Caro” he put down the magazine he’d been reading to take the plate of food off Caroline
“Gaby’s just been telling me about cheerleading” she hinted
“She has?” Dad looked a bit confused
“It’s all right Dave, Jen told me back after the Tour, not that I believed her. I think your youngest daughter is just fine” she grinned
“Drew?”

I sighed and nodded

“Come on kiddo, eat up and we’ll sort that bike out for you” Caroline urged

 

An hour or so later Dad was loading my ‘new’ cross bike into the boot while I waited with Caroline.

“Remember what I said Gaby, I mean it”
“Thanks Caroline and thanks again for the stuff”
“No problem, I’d rather see it used than collecting dust in my garage”

I was coming away with not only a nice bike but a spare pair of wheels, some tyres, a pair of cross shoes and a bag of other stuff, shorts and jerseys, that Mad could have a root through. We’d already put a bag of stuff for Jules inside so the car was pretty full.

“Thanks again Caroline and sorry about this one” Dad gave Caro a hug
“I told you, it’s no problem, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks at Leeds. And you,” she ruffled my hair, “take care eh”
“I will”

 

I leant my head on the door pillar as we made our way back out to the motorway. What a day. Bugger, what am I gonna do about school uniform tomorrow? I bet Pongo’s put it in lost property, more hassle. Caroline was pretty cool though, there’s no flies on her! I grinned to myself. The bikes ace, how many thirteen year olds get given an Orange cross bike, even if it is second hand. I’ll have to ring Josh tomorrow and tell him, maybe he’s doing some ‘cross and we can meet up? The streetlights strobed past and I dropped off to dreams of Drew Bond, Cyclo-cross champeen.

 

Maddy Bell 07.10.04

 

 

“So we all agree then” Miss Cowlishaw sighed, “Sarah, Florence, Karen York, Susan, Vicky, Mfanwy, Sue and Gillian are on the squad and Tina and Sasha for reserves”
“So what now Miss?” Ally asked
“I’ll post the list and next week we’ll start training the new girls. Apparently we need to register you all so we can do the competitions, we’ll get that sorted on Tuesday.”

I’ll tell her next week that I’m dipping out.

 

The day’s looking up though, I got my uniform back and I didn’t get detention either. After a scrum round I found another pair of school trousers and Jules had a spare tie so I was only lacking a blazer and as I was claiming that from lost property I got away with it.

Not only the day but the week. The weekend was soon upon us and all five of us are going to Worksop shopping.

 

“It’s only three weeks to the Halloween party,” Bernie mentioned as the bus bounced through Holbeck.
“Three weeks!” Mad exclaimed, “We need to get organised”
“What are you going as Bern?” Ally asked
“I thought I’d go as a Zombie, what about you guys?”
“Dunno” Rhod allowed
“Drew?” Bern enquired
“He’s not going remember, it’s Gaby that’s going” Mad butted in
“We can check the costume shops and stuff today” Ally enthused

I sighed, just when things were looking up!

 

“Can’t I just go as Dracula or something?” I pleaded as we walked up the High Street
“No way Drew, you need to lose Clive in style” Mad instructed
“Gaby would never show up in something like that,” Ally affirmed

If I get my way ‘Gaby’ won’t be showing up at all, I’ll sort out my costume!

“I’ve got it!” Bernie declared
“Spill then” Mad demanded
“How about we all go as Buffy characters? Ally and Rhod can be the Undead, I’ll be Willow, Gab’ll be Buffy and Mad, you can be Cordelia”
“Cool!” Ally grinned
“Great idea” Rhod added
“That’s settled then,” Mad stated
“Don’t I get a say?” I asked
“Oh come on Drew, it’ll be ace” Ally told me

I decided not to push it; I’m doing my own costume anyway, right?

 

By the time we caught the bus most of the costume supplies were bought. The two Undead needed the most as the others thought that most of the stuff needed was in their wardrobes.

“Lets make a start tomorrow” Ally enthused
“Yeah, we can use my mum’s sewing machine” Mad suggested
“I’ll see what I’ve got tonight,” Bernie added
“That okay with you Drew?” Mad asked
“I’m riding in the morning”
“Oh yeah, you said. Well come round when you get back, we can get on with everyone else’s”

No supporters club in the morning then.

“Whatever” I replied non committally

 

“You okay Drew?” Dad asked as we joined the line of cars heading for the Peak District.
“I guess”
“Come on Drew, I can see there’s something”

In truth I was feeling a bit down this morning. I was feeling side lined by my friends, and I really want Mum home.

“It’s nothing, just a bit tired”
“Hmmm”

We passed another couple of bikies, you certainly see more out here now that there are fewer grockles around. After sitting in traffic at Baslow for ten minutes, Dad took to the lanes and we were soon parked up in the car park at Monsal Head. The weather was, lets say crisp, a bit of frost in the edges and some mist down in the valley bottoms. The sun was making a half hearted attempt to break through the cloud but it was most certainly not shorts weather!

Dad got my bike ready while I fetched some tea from the takeaway, they were setting up a PA system and already people were staking out the prime spots to watch. For some reason I was feeling more than usually nervy this morning, last weeks results were in the comic and I could see people talking and looking my way.

“Go and have a ride Drew, and be careful, there’s a bit of black ice in places”
“Okay”

I set off up the main road; it certainly felt better for getting the ole legs going. I turned round at the top of the hill and sped back down to the car park. I didn’t stop but instead headed down the hill to check out the course. Whoa! There is some ice about! I freewheeled along to where the timekeeper was getting organised, at least there was a short lead in on this one before the climb starts. Turned round I started up the climb, once or twice I got some wheel spin on either the wet road or black ice, I’m not sure which. It’s a fairly even gradient and I kept it going without too much problem, the race will be a different prospect I’m sure.

By the time I set off for the start there was a sizeable gallery crowding the top of the climb and inadvertently causing some traffic problems. The first riders were already on the climb as I descended and the nearer to my start the less confident I was feeling. I had intended wearing longs but one or two other riders were down to a skinsuit. Okay then, shorts it is!

 

At the last minute I stripped down and with my gloves the only allowance for the weather I waited for the countdown. The starter’s watch had a countdown and I shivered as I prepared myself waiting for the beep to start.

“Beep, beep, beep, beep, Beeeeeeep”

I sprinted away and all too soon I was on the climb. Sheesh, it seems steeper than before! I pushed myself on and soon the first members of the gallery hove into view. Not far now, the red tunnel started to form and I could hear the PA system above me. Whoa! Where did he come from? I swerved around the slower rider and the crowd thickened and became more vocal the higher I got. My breathing was getting really ragged as I forced myself on and the crowd shouted their encouragement. It wasn’t just my vision that was tunnelled; the roadway at the top was narrowed by the crowd cheering the riders the last few metres.

 

“Here you go Drew, you can stop now” Dad told me grabbing me and the bike then wheeling his wheezing son over to the car
“Huuuuh, huuuuh, huuuuh”
“Where’s your top?”
“Huuuuh, bo, huuuuh, ttom, huuuuh”
“Okay, in you get” he instructed helping me off the bike and into the car’s back seat.

I was shivering like Billy oh, the blanket Dad put around me having little immediate effect. He shut the door and left me huddled there and my mind was a blank. The door opened again and he thrust a hot mug in my hands.

“Get that down you, you need to warm your core”

I sniffed at the tomato soup in the mug, hmmmm, smells good. I tried to stop shaking so much and managed a few sips of the hot drink, it seemed scalding hot but another mouthful followed the first and I gradually settled into a light shiver. Dad was busy putting my bike away, outside I could hear the PA still going and the crowd cheering each time a rider reached the summit.

“Come on Drew, get some clothes on” Dad instructed next time the door opened
“Yy-yeah okkk-ay”

I found my jeans and pulled them on over my shorts, that was immediately better and a t-shirt and fleece later I was feeling much better, I wasn’t shaking so much and I finished the soup.

“Here you go Dave” a voice called out
“Cheers Joe” Dad replied receiving a bundle which I recognized as my tracky top and longs.
“Good ride young un,” the smiling Joe continued before departing with a wink.
“Who was that?”
“Joe Davis, he organises this every year”
“Oh right”

I pulled a hat on before joining Dad outside. The PA was silent but most of the crowd were now gathering around the result board.

“Lets see how you got on eh?”

Before we got there however the PA started up again with a loud screech.

“We’d like to thank everyone for supporting us again this year, sorry it’s so cold but you’ll soon warm up on the way home! Okay lets sort out the prizes…”

I hugged myself and snuggled into my fleece as he droned on announcing the places from ten up. When I wasn’t mentioned by fifth I kind of guessed I was well out of things, ah well.

“…And with the fastest time for over ten years with 2.46.03, this years winner is a great future prospect, Drew Bond, where is she?”

“Huh?”
“Go on Drew, you’ve won!” Dad shoved me forward.

The crowd let me through and Joe beamed at me as he presented me with a good-sized cup. I managed a stunned grin as I accepted the silverware and the crowd cheered loudly.

 

Joe found me a few minutes later.

“Well done again lass looks like you’re gonna have a busy social season”
“I’m not…” Dad arrived and interrupted before I could go on
“Thanks Joe”
“You get an invite to pick up the silverware with this” Joe went on, “are you riding the National?”
“We never thought to” Dad admitted
“What about the Schools?”
“Didn’t know they had a hill climb”
“That’s a pity, I’m sure young un ‘ud be in line for a gong. Tell you what, I’ll ring Ken Bates, he’s organising this year, see if we can get lass in”
“You don’t have to Joe”
“I want to, can’t deprive everyone of a talent like this un’s got can we”
“Okay”
“I’ll ring you later Dave. Like her mother eh, quiet off the bike but no arguing on it!”

I was still goldfishing as he headed off.

“Wha?”
“He means well Drew”

We had a quick look at the results board before heading to the car. That guy I caught, he was fourth! Sheesh!

“You okay now?” Dad enquired
“Yeah, I’ve warmed up now”

I actually dropped off as we made our way back, my effort finally catching up with me.

 

“You have got to be kidding!” I told Mad
“Why?” she just didn’t seem to get it.
“Number one, I am not a girl. Number two, I am not a girl!”
“Come on Drew, we agreed”
“We!” I exclaimed, “we didn’t agree to anything. You and the girls agreed, not me. And where are they anyway?”
“Upstairs helping Rhod get into his costume”
“Well I am not wearing that anyway.” There, Drew Bond lays down the law!

I was barely inside Peters Acres before Mad had thrust the skimpy dress at me. Don’t get me wrong; it was lovely and all that, for a girl but the Drewmeister is no way going to wear that out in public!

 

There was a bit of whispering outside the door then a pair of girl Zombies came in.

“I thought you were going to be Willow Bernie?” I mentioned
“I am“ Bern stated from the doorway
“Gotcha!” Ally’s voice came from a smiling Zombie
“So where?” the penny finally dropped
“What do you reckon?” the other ghoul asked in Rhod’s voice
“But I thought…” I started
“You look brill Em” Maddy told Rhod
“Em?” I must be in an alternate universe or something

“Well as you’re going as Gaby the girls thought I should go as Mfanwy” Rhod explained.
“We had a long talk with Em before you got here and we decided that all the cheerleaders should go together, well us anyway.”
“Yeah, I know you guy’s hadn’t said anything before but I thought I should, seeing as I made the squad” Rhod started to explain
“Well we knew it was you on Tuesday but I didn’t think you were into this dressing up lark really”

Rhod, Mfanwy, Em whatever! Sat down opposite.

“Look Drew, you know all about Cherys and all that right?”
“Right” I agreed. Well I know some of it anyway.
“And you know Al went to Wales with me the other week” he stated
“Yeah”
“Well Al mentioned the Foresters and the tryouts and Cherys got all excited and suggested Mfanwy tryout. Worse than that she told my Mum!”
“Yeah Sylv was like ‘maybe you should Rhod’ when we got back” Ally went on
“So you knew already. Why didn’t you say anything”?
“Em asked me not to”
“And what’s with this ‘Em’ business?” I asked no one in particular
“Well Mfanwy is a bit of a mouthful,” Bernie mentioned
“It’s what my Gran calls me,” Rhod told me
“So’re you gonna try your dress on?” Ally asked
“He won’t wear it” Mad announced flatly
“Drewww, why not?” Al whined
“Little Miss Priss says it’s too skimpy,” Mad told the others
“Well I can see that a bit, it’s not summer anymore” Bern agreed
“I suppose I can find something else” Miss Peters allowed

 

“So how did it go this morning Drew?” the Zombie opposite me asked
“I won,” I mumbled
“You won? Brill!” Ally trilled
“Why didn’t you say Drew?” Mad demanded
“You started straight in with that stupid frock” I almost spat
“I thought Rhod was here, I’ve got veggie burgers on for him,” Mrs P mentioned coming into the dining room.
“He had to go home Mum,” Mad told her, “is it alright if Em stays though? She’s a veggie too so she could have Rhod’s burgers”
“As long as it’s alright with her parents”
“Thank you Mrs Peters” Zombie Mfanwy mentioned in a sweet girly voice.
“Well it’ll be about ten minutes so clear this mess up and lay the table please. Looks like you’re well outnumbered today Drew”
“Yeah” I allowed

 

When I got home Dad announced that I would now be riding the English Schools hill climb on the 3rd of November, the Sunday after the school Halloween dance, all of two weeks away.

There was also news from Mum. The team had got an invite to spend a couple of weeks in Australia so her return home was going to be delayed until late November. At least she’d be back until New Year then! Dad didn’t seem that keen on the whole idea although he didn’t say as much.

 

In the interests of your sanity I’m gonna skip forward a couple of weeks. Don’t worry you won’t miss anything, all right I’ll fill you in. you remember I was all set to leave the cheerleading to the girls? Miss Cowlishaw made me ‘B’ squad captain so how could I quit? I guess it’s not too bad and it will save me doing any circuit training before Christmas!

Mad came up with a solution for the Halloween thing, one of her Mum’s glittery tops teamed with some satiny trousers and sandals. Very Buffy but I’ve got my Dracula outfit sorted out so it doesn’t matter anyhow!

Then last weekend I started to practice my Cyclo cross skills. Now that was fun, not! Dad had me running up and down carrying my new bike, then getting on and off. I lost count of how many times I whacked my shins with the pedals but I didn’t suffer anything too drastic. I think it will be good fun; Dad has me entered in a local league thing just up the road that starts the week after next.

Other than that, school has been, well school and nothing else has been happening, oh yeah, me and the guys did go to the cinema on Saturday to see ‘Bend it Like Beckham’. It was okay I guess but I’m not really a footy fan and it is what Mrs P calls ‘a chick flick’.

So now you know what I’ve been up to I’ll tell you about Halloween.

 

I was trying to leave getting ready as late as possible so I was listening to Dad moaning about all the trick or treat stuff.

“We never used to get all this. It’s those damned Americans again.”
“Maybe we should make them have bonfire night,” I suggested
“I thought you were going to the school disco thing?”
“I am, it doesn’t start till seven”
“Well don’t you need to change or anything or are you going in school uniform?”

 

“I thought you were going as Buffy” Jules mentioned twenty minutes later. She was a pretty good Pratchett style witch, pointy hat, striped socks and stuff.
“Nah, Dracula” I turned and flashed my fangs at her
“Urgh put ‘em away!
“You two want a lift?” Dad enquired
“Yes please Dad” Jules replied
“Drew?”
“No I’m going over to Mad’s first”
“What about later?”
“Aunt C is going to drop us off”
“Fair enough”
“I’d best get off I suppose” I told them grabbing the bag with my cape in and my fleece.

I checked the time as I walked over, yes! We’ll have to go as soon as I get there. There is no way they can make me go as Buffy now! Strike one for the Drewster!

 

“Drew! Where have you been? We need to get you changed” Mad huffed from under her black wig
“I’m already changed” I told her shucking my jacket
“What as? That is so not Buffy”
“Dracula” I told her slipping my fangs in.
“There is no way Drew!”
“Why not? It’s a Halloween costume”
“Because” and she ran upstairs
“Where’s your cousin Drew” Aunt C asked slipping her coat on, “it’s time to go”
“She ran upstairs”
“Maddy, come on time to go”
“Not going!”
“What now” Mrs P rolled her eyes as she started upstairs.

Ah well! I sat myself on the second step, and tried to listen to the conversation above but it was too muffled to make any sense of. I was just at the point of counting flowers on the wallpaper when Aunt C came back down.

“Well Drew, looks like you’ve done it this time”
“I have?”
“Mad’s adamant she’s not going if you’re wearing that outfit.”
“It’s only a disco”
“It may only be a disco to you but the girls have it all planned out”

Yeah right!

“Seems everyone else is going as a Buffy character, but they don’t have a Buffy if you go like that”
“Yeah well”
“Drew, Maddy says you knew but you’ve still gone your own way on this. I don’t think that’s very fair, leaving it ‘till tonight, do you?”
“I er suppose not,” I allowed
“You’ll spoil it for everyone Drew”
“I guess. I just won’t go,” I suggested
“You know what you need to do young man” she looked at me sternly
“But…”

That look again. Damn, damn, damn! Not exactly a choice I was looking to make tonight. I ran over the options. There aren’t any options are there if I want to keep my friends. One last try.

“There’s not enough time”
“Of course there is”

Bum.

 

“We thought you weren’t coming” Al greeted us as we arrived shortly after seven thirty.
We had a bit of a problem with Buffy’s costume” Mad gave me a wink

The Slayerettes, Zombies and Buffy joined the various witches, vampires and monsters in the school hall. I felt totally underdressed. Well not in that way, no everyone else was in some sort of proper costume and here I am looking like I’m going to the pictures or something. I let myself get dragged onto the dance floor by Mad and for a few minutes I forgot how I was dressed.

“So you forget your costumes?” Paul mentioned from behind his Phantom mask.
“Duh” Mad huffed, “she’s Buffy and I’m Cordelia”

Paul looked blank.

“From the telly, you know Buffy the Vampire Slayer?”
“Oh right”
“Where’s your shadow?” Mad enquired
“Shadow? Oh Clive. Round here somewhere, he wasn’t expecting you to be here Gaby”
“Yeah well I got an invite”
“Hey Paul you gotta come see this” Clive resplendent in Dracula outfit joined us, “er hi Gaby” he flushed pinkly spotting me.
“Hi Clive”
“Gab wants to talk to you Clive, don’t you?”
“Er yeah” I tried to remember what I was supposed to do. Was it speech then slap or the other way round?
“Can I catch you in a mo, come on Paul” he dragged the Phantom off leaving me relieved and Mad fuming.
“Ooh that boy!”
“Yeah” I lamely agreed wondering what he’d dragged Paul off to see.

 

“Hi girls, lets see now, Buffy and Willow?” Miss C chanced
“Cordelia Miss” Maddy replied, “Bernie’s Willow”
“So you found any vampires to stake girls?”
“Only one so far Miss” I allowed
“Hi Miss” Zombie Ally greeted Coach
“Ally? That you under there?”
“Damn! I was sure you’d never work it out”
“You used your own voice dumbo” Mad told her
“So who’s the other undead then?” Miss C enquired
“Em, I mean Mfanwy Miss” Ally informed her
“Well I have to go girls, I’m supposed to be making sure there’s no Shenanigans tonight”

That Drew giggles from the girls and a weak smile from me. She turned on her heel and headed the same way Paul and Clive had gone.

“See she knew who we are” Mad told us.

The evening ground on, my ‘boyfriend’ was noticeable by his absence and I was getting a little, erm uncomfortable. I spotted Jules heading outside with a lad who didn’t need much help to look like Frankenstein’s monster. Something to store for later. Being a school function and on a school night the whole affair was due to finish at ten and the whole reason for me being here as Gaby had so far failed to happen.

“Last dance” Clive swung me round
“Where’ve you been?” Mad demanded
“That’s for me to know,” he hollered back as he dragged me away.

Now's the time Drewster!

“Get your hands off me” I shook him off
“Whoa, what’s up babe” this didn’t sound like Clive?
“I said hands off” I slapped at him as he tried to grab me again.
“I thought we were tight?”
“In your dreams” then I caught a whiff of his breath, he’d been drinking.
“Come on Gab, one liddle dance”
“I said get off!” octopus arms was having another go. I was having little success in escaping him, time for direct action.
“You asked for it!” I got an arm free and let rip. My hand caught his face nice and flat and old calamari hands was suddenly reeling and screaming at me.
“You bitch you!” he retorted holding his face
“I said get off and I meant it, come near me again and you’ll get more than that!” I shouted back.

Of course by now we’d acquired an audience.

“You tell him girl”
“Nice slap”

I turned and stormed out of the hall and stuck my now stinging palm under my armpit to ease the pain. That hurt!

“You alright Gab?” Bern was first to join me
“Yeah”
“Some slap”
“My hand hurts like hell”
“Well he deserved it”
“He’s been drinking,” I stated
“Way to go Gaby,” Em mentioned joining us
“Do you reckon he got the message?” Mad enquired with a smirk

To be honest I wasn’t feeling that great about tonight’s result with Clive. After all he is my, that is Drew’s mate, it just didn’t feel right!

 

“There you are,” Dad paused, “I thought you went out as Dracula?”
“I did”
“Okay” he obviously wanted to ask why I was now dressed as a girl but the question wouldn’t form.
“Night Dad”
“Night Drew”

I made good my escape and hoped that I wouldn’t get the Spanish Inquisition tomorrow instead.

 

Maddy Bell 11.10.04