The Floral Tales –J Morose 2009

Introduction

This story is based on a real club that existed in Southport, England in the 80's and early 90's. The events and characters are entirely fictional.

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance,swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their underage exploits when attending the local rock club.

It is my first attempt at writing this type of story, normally its more verse, song or functional design specifications! (Although it might be an idea to write a Spec. out for what I would like to be)....

Lastly, let me know if you are interested in me posting the next bit.

May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours – J

---

 

Part 1 - Foundations

 
 

Friday night – Kev's house

 
 

The dulcit tones of Motorhead blasted out from the stereo, a long haired adolescent was leaping about the room mumbling along to the song. The lad was Kevin, 17 years young, long hair, thin build, ripped jeans, your typical heavy metal nut.

“Kevin!”, the voice shrieked “Phone!”

“Shite” Kev exclaimed “Coming!”.

Getting disturbed when trying to listen to music always annoyed Kev. It was usually synonymous with lectures about appearances, future job prospects and attitude.

Kev lifted the tonearm of his record deck and made his way downstairs. His Mum was waiting in the hall, phone in hand, the usual look of disapproval on her face.

“It's Anthony”.

“Thanks mum”. Kev grabbed the reciever.

'Why couldn't we have one of those fancy cordless phones instead of an old rotary dial phone in the hall. ' Kev mused.

“Hi Wanger, hows it hanging?” Kev inquired.

“Straight down man, straight down!”

“Yeah, me too! Whatsup?”

“wanna pop round, gottan idea for the Floral”.

Tony was of course referring to the local Rock Night, called 'The Floral' due to the venue, the Floral Hall Theatre and Conference Centre.

“Cool, seeya in 5”.

“Seeya”.

Kev put the phone down.

“Mum, going out, back in a bit, seeya”.

Kev bolted to his room, located his boots (no self respecting rocker wears shoes or trainers), threw on his jacket and turned off the stereo. He then bolted back downstairs and through the front door.

“Don't be too late” His mum said. “Do you hear kevin”. By this time he was out of the door and almost to the street.

Wanger only lived round the corner, quicker to walk than use the bike.

 
 

Friday night – Wanger's house.

 
 

It was 10 minutes later when he reached his friends house, cleared the 'be nice to mate's mother' level and gained entry to his room.

“Hey Wanger,” he said “Hows it hanging?”

“Straight down man.”

Wanger was a half Oriental lad who Kev had been friends with about 5 years when they met on the bus after seeing each other get the bus to school. Both being the social inepts that they were and still are, it took about 3 months of meeting at the bus stop each day for them to talk to each other. Especially as they went to schools that were rivals.

“Grammy” (kev's nickname), “Gotta really cool idea for the Floral tomorrow”

“You said that.” Kev replied. “Do ya know what night it is tomorrow?”

“Yup. Doctors and Nurses” Wanger replied. “Wanna do it?”

“We go every week man. Whaddya mean?”

“Gettin with the spirit of the thing man, you know.”

It suddenly dawned on Kev what was meant. The Floral had a theme night once a month. Sometimes it was Saint Trinians, sometimes Vicars and Tarts. Hell, they even had a Christmas Eve rehearsal in June. Of course there were the usual selection of people that dressed according to the event.

“Might do” was Kev's response. “Dunno if I can find owt to wear though”.

This was Kev's usual stock response. He was a metaller, a rocker and a consummate one at that. The usual garb consisting of black jeans, band t-shirt and jacket. He did not deviate from this much, even when going places with his parents, although he usually consented to wear unripped clothes more in fear of the wrath of Mum rather than any concession to decency.

“Well, if you can find summat, I've got a labcoat I can throw on.” Said Wanger

“Fair enough, but I'm coming here first just to make sure I'm not going on me own like this. If the trendies see us we'll get battered”.

“Its cool man. Me dad'll take us.”

“Cool!”.

“It's settled then.” They both grinned. “Are you ready to ROCK!”

The rest of the evening was spent listening to tapes whilst trying to beat ulitma 4 on Wanger's Amiga. They had been playing the same saved game for about 6 weeks now and had just discovered the dungeons.

 
 

Saturday morning – Anya's house

 
 

“Anya! Phone”

Anya was Kev's girlfriend. His first girlfriend. They had been going out for about a year after they met leaving the Floral. Anya was a large girl, with really long hair, gothic dress sense and the sort of smile that made Kev think that the sun rose from her lips.

“Kev?” she inquired.

“Hiya Anya, you ok?” Kev replied.

“Yes. You?”

“Cool. Going tonight?”

“Yes”. Anya was starting to get excited. Kev was not good with conversation usually, but made up for it in other ways.

“Wanna meet up first?” Kev asked. “also, gotta ask a favour..”

“What?” She was intrigued now. Kev usually did not ask for anything other than to meet up on the phone.

“Well, you know the Floral?”

“Yes..” Anya was getting curious.

“Well you know they sometimes have themes..”

“Yes”

“Well, Wanger had this idea...”

“Yes”

“and you know what it is....”

“Yes, it's doctors and nurses isn't it. That means they will play music with a medical theme dunnit.” Anya was getting a little impatient.

“Well this idea of Wanger's..”

“Yes. Look, just get it out Kev”

“What! Me mums in Anya!”

“No Kev.” Anya was getting a more impatient and it was starting to show in her voice. “What did Tony suggest?”

“He said we should dress up like. I was wandering if you had a lab coat or summat I could wear”

The cog wheels of Anya's mind started to whirl. Then she smiled. Then she grinned.

“Sure I can sort that kev. Can you come round here this afternoon, say after 3ish. Helping me dad out this morning. Tony can come too. I'll ask Freya to join us”.

“Cool. Give us chance to get ready. Maybe we can even set Wanger and Freya up”.

Freya was Anya's best friend. A small thin Icelandic girl whose parents moved here many years ago. She was single and had a lilting musical voice. She was also very good at flirting and would probably spend the entire night flirting with all and sundry before getting her dad to collect her before any end of night awkwardness could ensue.

“Won't work. Not her type”.

“Fair dos” Kev laughed. Wanger was like Kev in a way, not very good with girls. It was Anya doing the chasing when they met and Kev's dad who gave him a push when she called round that fateful sunday.

“Gotta go – love ya”

“Love ya, seeya”

“Seeya”.

Anya put the phone down and grinned. This would take a little planning, but it would be way cool. She headed off to her room to get her diary....

 
 

Saturday morning – wanger's house

 
 

“Wanger, how’s it hanging?” Kev said as he entered his friend's bedroom.

“Little to the left, you know, mornings.”

“Fair dos.”. Both Kev and Wanger were not morning people. “I'm like Robinson Crusoe meself..”

“Yeah, buggered by friday!”. Buggered in this sense is colloquial, referring to being really tired. Kev and Wanger tended to converse a lot in like a secret language at times, using half phrases where the meaning was implied.

“So, the Floral tonight, called Anya..”

“And..”

“She said she'll sort summat for me to wear. She wants us to come over later and she'll sort me out with summat to wear”.

“Eh?” Wanger inquired. “What's it then?”.

“Asked for a labcoat, thought she might have one”.

“Better watch it, sometimes she has no sense. When's cool?”

“3ish, Better do the bus though, Not be fit for me bike after the Floral.”

“Ok, better tell me mam or she'll go Vesuvius on me if she makes me tea and I'm not in”.

 
 

Wanger headed out, flipping the play button on the fancy new fangled CD player his Dad bought him, Iron Maiden's 'Bring your daughter to the slaughter' belted out and kev indulged in a spot of sit-moshing, sat on the edge of the bed furtively bobbing his head to the music, to all intents and purposes lost in the dream of being an air guitar rockstar.

-

“You've taken too many hits..” wanger exclaimed.

“Nah ya mong, its part of the strategy...”

They were both still in the bedroom, this time continuing their never ending Ultima marathon. Lively banter firing between them for the past few hours.

“I hope you don't get to many hit points tonight spacker. You know Anya's weird dress sense..”

Anya was a goth, not your new emo / cybergoth types but an honest to goodness dress in black, Egyptian eye makeup Siouxie type goth.

“Whaddya mean? I think she looks right fit in all that Morticia getup, right gothy”.

“You’re weird man”.

“I'll show you weird..” Kev produced a tape, flipped it into the tape player and proceeded to prance around the room to the Metal version of the 'Shake and vac' advert. (By Snuff off the album Flibbertydibbertydob if you’re interested).

“See.... wierd” Wanger grimaced. “Anyhow, its getting close to the hour of scarpering, got everything”.

“Yup, testicles, spectacles, wallet and watch.” Reference to 'Nuns on the run”, whereby Robbie Coltrane dressed as a nun to escape the Mob.

“Cool, retsugo.” Wanger did his best Anime hero accent.

 
 

Saturday 3.04 - Outside Anya's house

 
 

Wanger and Kev knocked on the door of the nondescript house that was Anya's parents. The door was soon flung open and there stood Anya and Freya.

“come in guys”, Anya said.

“Hiya Anya” said kev, rushing up to her and grabbing a quick kiss.

“Hiya Anya, Freya,” said Wanger, “Put him down you don't know where he's been”.

“Fraid I do Tony”, replied Anya, “probably at yours glued to that computer of yours. Sometimes I think you two are more in love with it than me...”

“Hiya kev, Tony” said Freya. Freya can be a little bubbly at times and it was obvious she was all excitable by the way she was jigging about.

“Freya, whats got into you?” said wanger, “Someone put summat into your knickers again?” He referred to an unfortunate incident she had with her younger brother a few years ago.

“No, just looking forward to tonight” she said, “Gonna be a good one”.

“Hope so” sad Kev. “We coming in then?”

They went up to Anya's room. It should be mentioned at this point that Anya's room was a little odd. It was a bit like a cross between a little girl's room and the boudoir of the bride of Dracula. Anya was well into the gothy thing and also a little into the new age pagan occulty thing that seems to attract goths like dog muck attracts flies.

“take a seat lads”, said anya.

They all perched on the end of the bed. Kev took the initiative.

“You got me stuff then love?” He inquired. “Wanger's got his in his bag”

Wanger proceeded to produce what once in a former existence could be described as a labcoat. It had “Iron Maiden” written across the back in black marker and the lapels at the front were covered with at least a dozen pin badges of various bands.

“Cool huh” Wanger beamed.

“If you say so” said anya, “Wait 'till ya see what we've got for Kev!”

You could feel the enthusiasm radiating from Anya, who was not a proper goth by virtue of her cheerful demeanour. It was always Kev's impression that happy goths are a bit of an oxymoron, like the careful biker or the pacifist trendy. (Trendy was the word used at the time to desribe those who listened to chart music, dressed in the non-descript baggy wear of the time and when not threatening metallers, goths, gays, anyone who was different, spent their time gyrating inanely to some repetitive electro rubbish that sounded like car alarms.)

“Where is it then?” inquired Kev, quite intrigued, “hope its not daft like Wangers”.

“Who you calling daft?” Said Wanger.

“You, ya mong”

“Spacker! Mines well cool, wore it at school and everything, right rock”.

“Yeah, well cool, kinda like...”, the sarcasm started to creep out.

“First let's do some readings”, interrupted freya, trying to prevent the usual 20 minutes of banter that exhausted the lad's repetoire of expletives, insults and innundos. “Anya, got ya cards about”

“Me Rider Waite is here somewhere”. Anya reached into a drawer and produced a card shaped bundle wrapped in, you guessed it, purple velvet cloth, which she proceeded to unwrap, liberating a Tarot deck.

“We'll do Kev first, here, shuffle these”, she passed the cards to Kev, who shuffled them with a practised ease, due mainly to the fact that he spent most of his early childhood playing card games with his grandparents, who were card game nuts.

Anya then took the cards and spread the top ten or so out on the floor in front of her. She then studied the cards..

“let me guess, gonna get stuck behind a tractor on me way back from college, tuesday afternoon at 16:36?” joked kev.

Anya glared. He always made fun of this, just because he could. Anya knew that he sometimes spent time sat in the pub shuffling cards and nursing a half pint. When people asked about having a reading, he would often use the excuse that he became more psychic, the more he has to drink. A free night out he used to call it. Bloody heathen.

“Halfwit” mumbled Freya “Good job you’re not in Iceland, we take the spirit world seriously there”

“Yeah, right” joked Kev.

“Just let her do it mong, ya gonna make her gurn if you keep on taking the piss”, said Wanger, referring of course to the time honoured Cumbrian pastime of trying to pull the ugliest face possible. There was even a world championship!

“Right Kev, your cards...” Anya looked focussed. “In your past, the 2 of Cups, thats meeting me that is...”

“Yeah, the love thing, right?” said Kev. Wanger giggled.

“In the present, the Fool, starting on a new path in life, a beginning”, continued Anya.

“Yeah, a proper idiot” sniggered Wanger. Freya elbowed him in the ribs.

“Above you, The Ace of Wands, starting some new endeavour. Beneath you, the ....”

 
 

Anya snatched up the cards. “Lets forget about it for now.” Her worried look could not be hidden behind that smile.

“What!” Kev said.

“Don't worry about it”.

“Well, you are..”

“Never mind. Anyway, “ Anya smiled at Freya, “It's time to get you two ready.”

Freya added quickly, “I'll take Tony down to the kitchen for an hour or so, you get Kev ready”. Freya had this cheeky grin on her face, making Kev wonder what he had let himself in for.

“Man, you should run now...” interjected Wanger.

“Why!” Kev was not worried. Usually time alone with Anya at the very least meant lots of snogging, sometimes even a quick feel. He did not want to let Wanger spoil his fun. “Bugger off ya mong”.

“Don't tell me later I didn't warn ya...” said wanger, as he was led out of the room by Freya.

Anya shut the door. “Right Kev, me and Frey had this brilliant idea that would be so cool......” She turned to face him, big grin on her face.

Saturday 4:00pm – Anya's kitchen

“Freya, whats the deal with Grammy? Why all the secrecy?”

“You'll just have to wait and see Tony.” responded Freya.

'Damn, she was fit' thought wanger. “You and me, we'll just have to give Anya some time. In the meantime, shall we get a brew and put on some vids?” Freya was not giving anything away at this point.

“Sure, but not one of your weepy shit videos, summat cool....”

“I think we'll manage..” Freya said

Saturday 4:10 – Anya's bedroom

“You want me to wear WHAT!” shouted Kev.

“Calm down Kev, there'll be plenty of guys doing it, you'll not be the only one”, Anya pleaded. Kev was usually a little boisterous, but Anya knew that in fact he was shy qnd quiet underneath. As though his usual ways were just an act, to be a blokey bloke.

“well...” Kev conceded, “At that St Trinians night there were about a dozen blokes in schoolgirl outfits...”

“See, it won't be that bad”

“So why do I have to shave meself then?” Kev had gone quiet.

“Because, sexy, it is better to do things right.” Anya replied. “Anyway, I have been known to find blokes in dresses a bit of a turn on.”

“Huh! You mean you prefer girls...”

“No, stupid. I love you. Do this for me and there might even be summat in it for you.” Anya said coyly.

“Whaddya mean”. Kev's mood suddenly perked up at this point.

“Wait and see lover” said Anya. She reached into her bedside drawer and fished out a condom.

Kev, all enthusiastic said “I understand. I'll do it for you”

“Cool”

“So where did you get the Nurses uniform from then?”

Anya got back into business mode. “You know me Sarah, me mate from school?”

“Which ones that then?”

“You know. You met her when we went to town last month.”

Kev didn't remember. He met many people whom Anya knew while out with her, which was strange considering the amount of people he considered friends could be counted on one hand. Kev never was much good at meeting new people.

“Well her sister is a nurse and she had some old stuff from when she was training and I asked and she let me have a uniform and stuff”

“Did you tell her what it was for?” inquired Kev.

“Yup, said it was for me boyfriend! She thought I was gonna wear it for you!” Anya giggled at this.

“Anyway, to the bathroom with you, and take this and this.” She handed him a bathrobe and a razor.

Kev skulked off to the bathroom. Anya's house had a couple of bathrooms, but the one closest to her room was considered hers, as her parents had an en suite bathroom.

Anya's kitchen – saturday, 4:30pm

“So Freya, whats the big secret with Kev and Anya then?”

“Can't say” she replied, “Wait and see.” She pressed play on the remote. She thought that this shold distract him for a while.

“Cool, Bad News...” Bad News was a spoof Heavy Metal band made of comedians who played really badly. So bad in fact it was hilarious.

They both settled in for the video. Meanwhile....

 
 

Anya's Bathroom Saturday 4:45pm

 
 

Kev got out of the shower and shaved his face. He didn't shave regularly, in fact he thought that bathing more than once a week was an extravagance he did not need to subject himself to. The only exception to this was when he was meeting Anya.

He was trying to figure out the leg shaving business. She had told him to shave his legs and arms, something he had never done before. So he sat on the edge of the bath and soaped up his legs and started to shave. It took a while just to do the lower legs. This went ok apart from the clogging of the razor every stroke. Then came the knees. How the hell was he going to do these? Front wasn't so bad but the back!

Bugger it, he'd leave that until later. He did his upper legs then stood and tried to work out the back of the knee. He bent round and promptly fell over into the bath.

“Bastard!”

“You OK in there?” Anya queried with an honest edge of concern after hearing the thump.

“Be OK. I just hope I don't have to do this again” Kev replied.

“OK, Be in me room when you’re done”.

Kev got up and had another go.

“bastard, shit, bugger, wank, arse!”

“Now what!” anya said.

“Cut me bloody leg!” exclaimed kev.

“You'll live” She laughed. “Now you know what us girls have to put up with to look good for you lads!”

“Never gonna complain about waiting for you to get ready again.”

“Never say never!” said Anya.

Kev rinsed off and started on his arms. This was actually easier.

He slipped on the bathrobe when finished and left the bathroom, his legs feeling somewhat colder than usual. He thought its probably the lack of hair.

Anya's bedroom – 5:10pm

“I see you managed it then?” Anya said.

Kev already felt a bit silly, what with the pink fluffy bathrobe and his newly bald legs. Whatever next....

“Come here love” Kev seemed a bit sullen. He made his way over to Anya and sat on the bed. She rubbed his legs. “Mmm, nice!”

She kissed him and he responded. He was coming around to the idea if it brought this sort of attention on him.

Anya pulled away and said “Right, next bit, hold out your hands.”

“No! Not nail polish. I'm not glam or a goth!”

“And whats wrong with goths!” Anya said indignantly.

“Ummm, nowt!” Kev realised that he was onto a loser with this. The overriding urge to spend some naked time with Anya overriding his judgement. He did not want to blow it. He proffered his hands.

A little later he was sporting neatly trimmed nails and bright red polish on them.

She then got on the bed behind him and started to play with his hair. Kev's hair it should be said were his one redeeming feature, even his mother said that girls would be jealous of his hair. It was brown, a few inches below shoulder length all the way round and no fringe. He did not plan on it being like that, he just stopped having it cut when he as 15.

“Don't wriggle, I'm not going to do owt permanent with it” Anya said, but it did not bother him, he found it quite calming her playing with his hair.

A few minutes later, he ended up with his hair in a pony tail. Nothing unusual there, as he wore it that way at work. What he did not realise that there was a big bow tying his hair back in red ribbon.

“Ok, I'm gonna do your face, as I want to surprise you, I have covered the mirror on me dresser. Ok?”

Well in for a penny, in for a pound. “OK..”

Anya's kitchen – Saturday 5:30PM

“So what's going on with Grammy then?”

Freya was getting a little pissed with Wanger asking this every few minutes.

“You'll just have to wait and see.” she snapped.

“Hey, no need to sulk Frey”, wanger retorted. “Just wanna see what all the fuss is about...”

“Well, wait.” She was starting too calm down a bit, knowing what Anya had in mind. She grinned impishly, “It'll be cool.”

They resumed watching, possibly the worlds worst version of Bohemian Rhapsody was being played and Wanger decided that he would catawaul along with it.

Anya's Bedroom – Saturday 5:40PM

“Ok, done with the makeup, ready for the next bit”, Anya inquired, trying to suppress a giggle whilst doing so.

“What have you done?” Kev was curious, he made motions to stand, but Anya pushed him down and squatted down beside him.

“Nuther surprise”, she said, “Blindfold for this, don't want to ruin the surprise..”

She went over to the wardrobe and opened it. Inside was like a shrine to goth, an ocean of black and violet cloth. She reached in and pulled out a headscarf, black of course.

“Why? Don't you want me to se how daft I look?” said Kev.

“Don't be so soft!”

“Not being soft, feel like a big girl's blouse”.

Anya, familiar with the generic Cumbrian insult to manhood which had been handed to Kev when he was younger, paid little attention.

“Bollocks, 'scuse the French”.

“The French would say merde you twit, that was Anglo-saxon” Anya retorted. “C'mere you”.

She walked toward him as he stood up. He bent to give her a kiss.

“Wait 'till later, you'll spoil yer face”.

“Huh! Ok.” Kev said. “Do yer worst, but I'm gonna end up like Frankenstien's sister!”

“Will you buggery!”, she retorted, using one of Kev's oft used sayings againt him.

“Ok then.”

She put on the blindfold. He could not see much, just make out light and dark.

“Right, going for it.” There was sounds of much rummaging in the wardrobe.

A little later, Kev was stood in the centre of the room wearing stockings, suspenders, a waistclincher and an empty bra. He was a little disorientated, the only time the blindfold was lifted was when she, as Kev would put it, 'painted around his eyes with crayons'. Even then, all he really saw was a close-up of Anya's face and the pointy end of whatever she was daubing on him.

“Right, gotta pull this a little tighter”.

Kev was starting to get a little excited by this, ableit feeling somewhat silly. The feel of the clothes were totally different to when he was feeling them on somebody else. His excitement was starting to become apparent.

Anya started to heave on the strings to the rear of the waistclincher. After a minute or so she seemed satisfied, albeit out of breath.

“How's that?” she inquired.

“Allright,” said Kev quietly, “Wanna give us a hug?”

kev was feeling strange. On one hand he was sure he looked like a right nancy-boy, but on the other hand the clothes didn't feel wrong.

“Nope, gotta wait 'till I'm done”. Anya was determined to finish. She produced the light blue nurses outfit.

“Lift you leg,”, she placed the dress on the floor, feeding it under his foot. “Now the other one.......Good”.

She pulled it up and had him thread his arms through the armholes.Before buttoning it up, she screwed up some cloth and stuffed it into his bra. Rummaging around until it ws approximately breast-shaped, she then fastened the dress.

“Right, last but not least, the shoes. You’re still a size 9?”

“Yup.”

“Borrowed these from big Kath.” Big Kath was another friend of Anya's. She was six foot in stocking feet.

Anya produced a pair of shoes that would befit a massive schoolgirl. Black, round toes and small heel. She had him lift his feet up one at a time and put them on him.

When finished, she stepped back, whipped out a camera and took a photo.

Kev saw the flash and immediately removed the blindfold.

“What y doin'”, he said, “gettin evidence of me looking a right twat?”

“Evidence, yes.” She replied, “You don't look half bad though”

“That mean I don't look half good either”, he retorted.

“See for yerself then”,

She whipped off the cloth covering the dresser mirror.

“What the shuddering fuck!” He bellowed!

In the mirror staring back at him was a girl. Was that me he thought? Nope, definitely a girl, a tall girl but definitely a girl.

“What the fuck!” he repeated.

“That's you that is” said Anya grinning, trying not to laugh out loud at Kev's reaction.

Kev turned this way and that, eyeing himself in the mirror.

“Bollocks! Look like a girl!”

“That was sort of the whole idea.” giggled Anya.

She returned to the wardrobe and started pulling stuff out.

“My turn, can you wait downstairs?” she said.

“No way am I going anywhere looking like this!” he said.

Anya thought for a moment before replying. “You'll have to, I've locked yer other clothes away, 'part from yer jacket”.

“Fer fucks sake”.

“Yes, stay like that and thats exactly what will happen, now scoot!”

Anya ushered him out of the room.

Anya's kitchen, 6:15PM

Wanger and Freya turned toward the kitchen door after hearing footsteps on the staircase. Freya rushed out of her seat and went to the door, looking up the stairs at kev.

“Woo, sexy!” she squealed. Kev went bright red.

Kev looked a bit sullen.

“Tony, come and look!” Squealed Freya, “Anya's pulled a blinder!”

“Bugger off!” sulked Kev.

Wanger put his head around the door. “What the fuck! What the actual fuck!”

“Don't say owt, I was set up!” said Kev.

“What the fuck!”

“You look lovely, quite fetching actually!” said Freya.

“Bugger!” sulked Kev.

“And that's what you'll get if ya go to that gay club dressed like that!” quipped Wanger.

“Oh, fer fucks sake Wanger”, retorted Kev, “I'm already feeling like a bit of a big girl's blouse as it is, next time it's your go..”

“Not bloody likely!”

“I dunno”, said Freya, “Geisha chic. I'm sure Anya has stll got that kimono..”

Wanger was non-plussed by this. “Hey! Let make fun of the chink again..”

“Not making fun”, replied Freya.

“'Least you’re not going out tonight looking like bride of Frankenstein” interjected Kev.

“You look far from the mate”, said wanger. “You look almost like a real'un. Least nobody'll ID you”.

Freya started to go upstairs. “Gonna go and get ready now. Tony, you should do the same. Then we'll head off out 7ish.”

With that she disappeared up the stairs.

Anya's Bedroom – saturday 6:26PM

“Hiya, you decent?” said Freya from the hallway.

“No, but come in anyway”.

Anya was getting dressed. She was in her underwear putting on her makeup, or warpaint as Kev refered to it.

“You outdid yourself with Kev”, grinned Freya round the door.

“Yup,” eplied Anya, “Always wanted to do that.”

“Eh! Thought it was just for a laugh!”

“Nope, You've seen how he turned out, looks almost real..”

“Yup, how did you know?”

“Well apart from his excessively exaggerated blokishness, which no way can be real, went rummaging round his room a few weeks ago while he was getting us a brew. Found things that, shall I just say, show him in a different light!”

“Do tell.” freya was getting intrigued.

“Well, it's like this....” Anya was about finished with her face and went to the wardrobe. Freya started to get changed too.

 
 

Anya's Kitchen – Saturday 6:27 PM

 
 

“Man, I can't call you that now! Can't call you girl or woman either!” said wanger, “You'll have to pick a name or summat”.

“No way! Call me Grammy, man, like you usually do”.

“How about Gerry, or summat?”

“Bugger off! How about I call you 'Sum Yung Gai' then!”

“Mong! Stop that will ya”.

“i will if you will”.

“OK.”

They got a drink each and sat down. The first thing thet kev noticed was the red lipstick marks on the glass.

“Bugger! Have you seen that!” Kev gestured at the glass

“Bada, bada, dude looks like a lady.....” wanger started singing.

“Get to fuck...”

“...dude looks like a lady...”

“Mong!”

“...dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a ladeh...”

Anya's Bedroom – saturday 6:46PM

“Right, looking good” Said Freya. Freya was the master at getting ready quick. What most people do not see is the 3 hour search for an outfit before she came round, trying on her entire wardrobe at least twice.

“Me too.” Said Anya. “Shall we go down?”

“Yup, Kev'll be sick of Tony's bullshit by now and we have to talk him into leaving the house yet...”

“Leave that to me.”

“Go girl..”

---

 
To Be Continued...

The Floral Tales (working title) –
J Morose 2009

Introduction
 
 
This story is based on a real club that existed in Southport, England in the 80's and early 90's. The events and characters are entirely fictional.

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their underage exploits when attending the local rock club.

He's all dressed up and has somewhere to go if his friends can get him to go. Stay tuned....

• May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours
• And many thanks for all the encouraging comments~ J

---

 

Part 2 - Debut

Anya's house – Saturday 7:10pm

“I'm not goin' out!” Insisted Kev.

“C'mon man, gonna be a laugh!” Wanger was starting to lose it. “Let's go”.

“C'mon love, remember before...” suggested Anya.

Anya was dressed in her usual gothy clothing, corset style top, lots of cleavage, long black frilly skirt and big boots. Freya was dressed in a black mini dress, heels, tights and looking hot.

Anya was getting a little hot too, but 'under the collar'. She was getting a little frustrated with Kev, and it showed.

After a further few minutes of cajoling and promises of much alcoholic goodness later on, Kev was starting to come round,
especially after he noticed Anya's frustration.

“Retsugo!”

“OK, let's do it!” Kev had finally come round.

“Cool, all set?” Wanger inquired of the girls.

“Yes”

So off they went. Anya lived on a quiet road, as they got to the garden gate Kev felt somewhat nervous, if not a bit scared.

“See, you managed the outside thing ok then!” said Anya.

“Yup, feels odd though”, replied Kev.

“You'll be right”

“Don't feel it...”

“Wait 'till you get some ale down ya”, Wanger knew that a good night out depended entirely on the quantity of beer consumed, a sentiment that was shared amongst the group, “wont matter then...”

“Got to get there first..”, Kev was still nervous, “Can kinda feel them curtains twitching..”

“Didn't think you cared bout other folks' thoughts” said Freya, “'specially with yer usual getup”.

“me usual getup in't skirts and shit”.

Oustide Floral Hall, 7:40PM

“The usual?” Kev was referring to their normal practice of pooling their money, paying for one to get in and then let the others in by the fire exit to the rear.

“Dunno man, might not be too many there yet”, said wanger.

“We can go to the pub first”, Freya put in hopefully.

“Not going like this!” Kev gestured toward himself, “'ll get battered”.

“No yer wont” said Anya, “Stop being such a tart..”

“Feel a tart”, replied Kev “and right daft too.”

Decisions, decisions. He pontifications went on for a good 10 minutes.

“Look, how much you all got on yer?” Said wanger.

Kev went rummaging in what passed for a wallet, “'Bout a tenner,” More rummaging, “No fifteen quid.”

“Anya?”

“Twenty.”

“Freya?”

“Twenty”.

“OK, I've got twenty five of her majesty's finest pounds,” said Wanger, “Why don't we just pay? 'Specially as Kev won't go anywhere else.”

They looked up towards the entrance. A billboard was outside proudly proclaiming “The famous Kenny Evans Floral Hall Rock Night”. There were a few people making their way in.

“fair enough, feel a bit exposed here”, put in Kev, “Best not staying as a target for the trendies.”

“Settled, Retsugo!”

Off they went towards the door, Freya and Anya either side of Kev, Probably making sure he does not escape.

Floral Hall – 7:55PM

They descended the stairs and could see the bouncers either side of a double door at the bottom. A table had been set up beside the door staffed by a woman who had a bucket and a stack of tickets.

As they approached the door the woman said “Two pounds each please”.

They fumbled for their money. One of the bouncers looked at Wanger and Freya and said “You lot eighteen?”, eighteen being the legal drinking age.

“Yes!” They chorussed.

“I'm nineteen!” Said kev, forgetting how he was dressed.

“Bloody hell, thats a bloke!” said the bouncer to his mate, “well, told you you'd see allsorts here tonight”.

“Yes you did.” said the other bouncer, “Go on with you”. He gestured toward the doors.

They finished paying and entered the floral proper.

-

The Floral Hall was a large venue and the rock nights usually attracted over 600 people on an average night. Rockers from all over came to it. The room itself was dark, had a large dance floor, stage to the left, which had a 15 foot high arrangement of loudspeakers either side of the stage, a DJ setup to the right, a bar opposite the entrance and to the right of that was tiered very wide steps, which had tables and chairs on them. There were about 50 people there at the moment.

Everyone at that time looked at the door when people came in, hoping to catch a friend arriving. This time was no exception. The DJ had Pink Floyd's The wall playing and was sat having a drink at the back of the stage.

Kev and the gang all headed toward the bar.

“Flagon of cider” said wanger, first there. The Floral, beinga raucous sort of place only used plastic glasses. Beer
was also available in 4 pint flagons with a screw top lid. Ideal when your carrying them around.

“Mines a lager please” said Anya.

“Me too” said Freya. Anya and Freya usually paid for eachother, this time was no exeption.

“Newky Brown..” said Kev. The lad behind the bar looked at him with eyes that had seen much there.

They paid for the drinks and bagged a table. The usual table was one right by the dance floor, so if they were staggering later, it was easy to find. Tonight was no exception to this, so down they sat.

Kev, looking for a little dutch courage, drank swiftly of his beer. Newky (Newcastle) Brown was the de-facto drink of bikers, although his dad said that it wasn't beer and that they dredge it from the Tyne (river in Newcasle) and bottle it.

“feeling better?” said Anya, rubbing his upper arm.

“Will after a few of these!” replied Kev.

“Well have another couple, that'll sort yer”, said freya.

“Still can't believe I'm doing this”, said kev.

“In honour of the attempt, I'll get yer next 'un” said Wanger.

“Cheers!” said kev. He thought that this dressing up lark could be Ok if people buy you drinks. Kev was often of the opinion that more beer could never be bad.

Floral Hall – 8:20

“And I, I, I have become comforably numb.....” Wanger was singing (badly0 along with the PA.

Kev Had drunk his beer. “Wanger, your round!” he chipped in.

“Hello, is there anybody in there.....” wanger sang, as Kev spoke.

“Ok, I'll get yer drink, but in 10 the thrash half hour starts”.

“Cool!”

Kev and Wanger both liked Thrash metal, the dulcit tones of Metallica, Megadeth and the like. The younger atendees usually danced to this, as later on, more of what is ow known as classic rock was played. Wanger heded off to the bar. This time however, he was set on not dancing, so as not to draw attention to himself.

The entrance doors opened, making themselves obvious by spilling light into the darkened venue.

“Its Stu!” squealed Freya. Stu was a very large bloke who was 6 foot 5 inches tall, built like a pro-wrestler and worked at his mother's business in the market, selling handbags of all things. He was also wearing a labcoat and had a stethoscope round his neck.

“Hey Stu!” shouted Freya, “Over here”.

Stu came running. “Hi Freya, gizza hug!”

“You look like a butcher dressed like that!”

“I'm a doctor”. He looked around the table. “Hi Anya”.

“Hiya Stu! Been ok?”

“Yup!”. He looked at Kev “Whose yer friend? And where's Kev?”

Kev was trying to be unobtrusive.

“Don't you recognise her?” said Freya playfully.

Damn thought Kev, just don't tell him. Kev did not want to be identified.

“This is Kay!” put in Anya.

“kay?” Stu looked and got a little closer, coming round to the side of the table where Kev sits.

The look of confusion suddenly lifted from his face as he recognised his friend.

“Kev!” he bellowed, “What the fuck! Thought you were a girl for a minute!”

“Thanks man!” kev sulked, feeling his currently shaky manliness slipping further away. “love you too...”

Stu decided on his usual greeting and picked Kev up.

“Gerroff me yer mong!” put in Kev.

“Sounds like Kev, smells like girl” put in Stu. He put kev down and produced a small flask from his pocket. Bringing
alcohol into the Floral in a clandestine manner was an ongoing war between the bouncers and everyone else.

“Have some of this!” beamed Stu.

Kev took a mouth full, drank and then started coughing loudly. “What the fuck is that!”

“Sheep dip!” grinned Stu, “made it meself.
Vodka and Ouzo....”

“Strong shit!” sid kev, taking another gulp.

Stu swiped back the flask and they sat down as Wanger returned with the drinks. “One newky Brown..” He said, passing Kev his drink.

“Cheers!” said kev.

Kev was in no doubt that tonight was going to be different.

-

The PA had been turned up. The opening bars of Metallica's One started blasting out the speakers and people from all round charged on the dancefloor. So did wanger, Stu and Freya.

“Come on..” shouted Wanger.

Kev nursed his beer. This was a song he really liked, but he was not going to make a fool of himself. Quiet as a mouse he decided.

“....I can't remember anything.....” The song blasted out the speakers. Theb others had joined a group who were dancing in a circle, facing inwards. They were doing the usual, air guitars, head shaking and singing the words in a high pitched falsetto voice, jus to upset those halfwits wo took their music too seriously.

Kev wished to join them, but was still apprehensive. As a reflex action, he swigged deeply of his beer, it's murky draught bringing a light headed clarity to Kev's head.

“You coming?” said Anya over the music, “Remember, I dance to your stuff if you dance to mine, thats what we agreed on.”

“Just finishing this first”. Kev gestured to his beer, knowing that he was just making excuses.

He looked to the dance floor again and dancing in the group with wanger was what ccould only be described as a bloke in a dress. Long hair, beard, chest hair, pink nurses outfit, hairy legs and biker boots.

Kev necked his beer. If someone else was going to look daft, he can too.

“Right, come on..” he said to Anya, who grinned knowingly.

They joined the others just as the fast bit was starting, cutting in opposite the hairy nurse bloke and started to dance.

“...taken my soul, taken my hearing, left me with life in hell.....” they squealed along to the song. Kev did this every week even though he loved Metallica, because he loved winding up those people who took themselves seriously much more.

Those he was dancing with took several minutes to notice Kev and Anya, being too absorbed in the song.

The song had to end however and when it did, Kev gave Anya a big hug, wrapping his arms around her neck and giving her a big wet kiss. The others noticed them then all right.

They broke apart to much cheering! Comments such as “Cool, lezzers!” and “Can we watch!” were uttered.

Anya blushed. Kev had got so into the song he had forgotten completely ho he was dressed. She noticed that some were taking a double take of Kev at this time.

“Bloody hell!” said the bloke in the nurses outfit, “Thats a bloke!” he exclaimed.

“No wonder he was kissing her like that!” said another. “Oh well, another fantasy shattered!”

Kev wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole, such was his embarrassment.

The next song was being played, Ghostbusters by Xentrix. The rest of them started to dance to this, losing themselves in the music again.

Kev turned to go, but was stopped by Stu. “Stay man, we are all mates here!”

“No way, you heard 'em!”

“Don't worry, it'll be right”

Kev, not convinced went and sat back down at the table. Anya was not long returning either.

-

A Little later Stu joined them. The current song being played was Peace sells by Megadeth.

“Shite man, can't get over how you look!” said Stu. “If I was a little more pissed, I'd go for yer!”

“Hands off, he's mine!” said Anya with a smile.

“Still, how in the name of shite did yer manage it Grammy?” said Stu.

“Ask her “, said Kev, gesturing toward Anya, “she worked her witchcraft on me”.

“Well, you can't be gay, what with a girl and all..”

Anya broke in, “I can assure you he is definitely not gay!”

“Glad thats settled”, put in Kev, “need a pint!”

“Me too!” said Stu, “I'll help”.

Stu picked up the chair Kev was at in, complete with Kev and carried him to the bar, much to the amusement of the increasing crowd of punters.

“Look like girl, will treat like girl!” said Stu with a grin.

“Don't care, want beer!” said Kev, who was starting the 'happily tipsy' stage of drunkenness.

Stu put the chair down and said “I'll get these, just been paid!”.

A few moments later, Stu handed Kev 3 glasses, all pints and containing cloudy green drink. “Hold these for a mo”. He then picked up the chair and Stu and carried them back to the table. Stu put the drinks on the table.

“Green death each, Anya, Kev”.

“What the fucks a green death?” said Kev.

“Cider, Pernod, Blue Bols, vodka, topped up with lager”.

“Cool”, said Anya, who took a large swig.

Kev did the same. “Cool!”

Kev decided at that moment that if, dressed like he is, is going to get free drinks, then he shall continue until drunkenness held full dominion. No change there then!

They sat and talked for a while, the conversation moving on to the usual, work, mates, music and the like.

A little later, Kev was feeling all the stuff he had drunk.

“I'm busting for the loo.” he stood up.

“This I have got to see!” said Stu.

“Me too!” said wanger, who was returning from the dance floor with Freya, both dripping sweat from all the dancing.

---

 
To Be Continued...

He's all dressed up and has somewhere to go if his friends can get him to go. Stay tuned....   The Floral Tales Part 3 - Rites By J Morose

Introduction

This story is based on a real club that existed in Southport, England in the 80's and early 90's. The events and characters are entirely fictional.

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their underage exploits when attending the local rock club.

He's all dressed up and has somewhere to go if his friends can get him to go. Stay tuned....

• May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours
• And many thanks for all the encouraging comments
• Apologies for the typos, J

Part 3 - Rites

Floral Hall – Saturday 9:15pm

They sat and talked for a while, the conversation moving on to the usual, work, mates, music and the like.

A little later, Kev was feeling all the stuff he had drunk.

“I'm busting for the loo.” he stood up.

“This I have got to see!” said Stu.

“Me too!” said wanger, who was returning from the dance floor with Freya, both dripping sweat from all the dancing.

-

They got up, they being Kev, Anya, Wanger, Freya and Stu and made their way to the gents. Now, on a little side note, the gents
at the Floral was a little unconventional, as was the ladies, but all in good time.

“Thanks for the audience, but can I empty me bladder in peace!” said Kev, feeling quite silly.

They were stood near the toilet door. The toilets are located to the rear of the hall either side of a long corridor. The corridor later on would be full of people flaked out either getting loved up with their significant other or just wanting a little peace.

Seeing that they were all still with him, Kev was getting a touch vexed. “Bugger off you lot!”

“Ok, I'll wait here...” said Wanger.

“Me too, “ put in Anya, “s'not like I've not seen it before!”

“What, the gents, or Grammy's...” blurted Wanger, with a giggle.

“Well,” said Stu, “Gotta go meself.”

“Great! Just what I need, constant piss-taking while I'm trying to go!”

Wanger approached the door, followed by Stu. Anya and the others waited opposite.

Inside, stepping down onto the tiled floor, which was flooded as usual. The flooded gents was a tradition in the Floral.

There were a number of people in the gents, mainly men of the biker / hippie, rocker persuasion. One of the stall doors flung open and out scampered a girl, who happily splashed her way out of the room. This was also not unusual here, as the ladies usually has a queue out of the door, so some of the bolder ladies tended to borrow the use of the gents.

Kev was happy that he had entered unremarked and his courage improved somewhat. Stu was already heading for a stall. Kev decided he would do the same.

Call it forgetting how he was dressed or call it bravado, but Kev went for the urinals. Unbeknownst to Kev, Wanger had already entered and was stood by the door.

Kev looked down as he jockeyed for position and noticed theskirt. At about the same time, coincidentally (as it always is at these moments), there was a deadly hush.

'Bollocks' thought Kev, 'how am I gonna get it out of all this lot' he said, thinking of the unfamiliar clothing he was now in. What he did not notice as a few dozen eyes staring at his back. The not noticing however did not last long...

“Guys, you gotta see this..” said one!

“A bird's gonna piss standing....” put in another.

There were various calls of similar ilk for the next minute or so. Kev stood rooted to the spot, mid trying to hike his skirt up and mid-rummage.

“Grammy, use the sit down loos yer mong!” He heard Wangers shout above the others quite clearly, his face now beetroot red.

“Fuck!” He said, furtively straightening himself out, turning and diving into the only empty stall.

He slammed the door shut and just stood rooted to the spot. At the same time, the room erupted into cheers and raucous laughter.

He eventually gained a little composure, mainly due to the pressing need to urinate. He hiked up the skirt again and had another rummage, figuring out that if he pulled everything down to his knees he could probably sit and go.

The laughter and banter outside continued, making it difficult for him to go, but he eventually managed. Pulling everything up and almost guillotining his meat and two veg in twowith the knickers before he remembered to tuck, readied himself for the gauntlet that lay ahead.

The Floral was always an odd place, full of people looking like the baddies you see in 70's American road movies. Violence, however rarely happened at the Floral, the older hands putting a stop to anything that might make them lose the venue and somewhere to go. The age range at these things was about fourteen plus (eighteen officially of course) to people in their fifties, original hippies. Mothers attended with their daughters and fathers with sons (well, those parents who hadn't become boring due to impending parenthood).

The lack of expected violence did not reassure kev however, as unlikely as it purported to be, does not mean that it did not happen occasionally. He remembered when the local biker gang stormed the place as one was refused entry and it took all the bouncers and several dozen of the more robust individuals to subdue and expel them, that was last year. He was not worried then, but now he felt that he may as well have painted a target on his back.

-

“Fuck man, are you finished or what, its been 10 minutes”. He heard Wanger's voice on the other side of the door.

He opened the door somewhat and poked his head around the door. Again as a repeat of before, the room was quiet.

He exited the cubicle and saw a fair crowd. A bouncer entered the room at this point, looked straight at Kev, consternation in his eyes.

“Wondered what all the fuss was about, now I know!”

Kev was fully expecting to get thrown out of the Floral at this point. The bouncer gestured him over. This was it, he thought.

Then the bouncer said, as Kev drew closer, “If your that desperate, use the toilets in the foyer, not the Gents, love”.

'Love? Did he not spot me for the bloke I am?' thought Kev. He rushed past the bouncer and back into the corridor beyond. 'Safe!' he thought.

“You OK?” said Anya, “You've gone pale.”
She rubbed his upper arm.

“Shite!”, grumbed Kev, “Thought I was gonna get lynched, or chucked out by the bouncers”.

“Not going to happen, this is the Floral for fucks sake”, said Wanger who was accompanied by Stu.

“Yeah, just sit down and chill for a mo, I'll get you summat.” said Stu.

“Fuck!” Kev sat down, joined by Anya and freya on either side.

“Calm down, Kev”. Said Anya.

“Next time we'll use the ladies!” interjected Freya.

Wanger inquired after the ladies drinks before disappearing after the rapidly departing Stu, who was unstoppable when on a mission.

-

Several minutes and many unseemly mumblings later, Kev as feeling a bit better. He rationalised that he was bound to be the recipient of copious amounts of ribbing, dressed as he was. More unnerving however, was the fact that some thought he was a girl. This was in direct conflict with the blokishness he usually projected to others.

“You Ok now?” said Freya.

“S'ppose..” replied Kev, “just not used to this.” This was true, Kev normally went unremarked at these events.

“I still love you you know!” Anya grinned. She gave him a peck on the cheek, which slightly improved his disposition.

“Even tough I look like a big girl's blouse!”

“Yup, always!”

“Love you too!” said Kev returning the kiss.

Anya beamed, this was the first time he actually said it! She knew that blokes did the bravado thing and not admit their feelings much. 'Emotions, thy's from lancashire thy's not got none of those!' was the general attitude of the males she had met.

Stu returned moments later with another pint of the cloudy green goodness. “Yer drink, sire..”

“Cheers Stu, much appreciated.” said kev

“Wanger'll be back with yours..” Stu said to the girls. He lookaed around and disappeared off down the corridor again.

Moments later, he was charging back down the corridor, his quite obvious grin meaning only that he has something to impart.

“Look, don't say owt, but just watch what comes past in a mo.” he settled down next to Freya.

They all looked from whence he had come, intrigued. There was a pair of burly blokes in nurses dresses, similar to Kev. They differed in every other way though. One had a beard. Both had hairy arms and chest hair stuck out from the tops of their dresses. Their bare hairy legs terminating in Doc Marten style hiking boots. Both were very drunk.

As they went past, Stu decided to comment.

“Fook me, bricklayers in drag!” he riposted undiplomatically. They glanced his way and went in the gents.

What Stu did not realise was the effects that his words would have on Kev. Kev cringed inwardly, wondering if that was how he was perceived, the butt of jokes and comments. Kev's somewhat fragile mental state regressed into a full blown mope. “Cheers Stu.”, taking a giant swig of the cloudy green beverage.

“What!” Stu was stumped.

Kev glared at Stu. “Bollocks to this, goin' home.”

Anya gripped kev's arm and glared at Stu. “No your not, yer gonna finish yer drink and chill.”

Freya added, “Kev, we've got yer clothes at Anya's. Just calm down and enjoy the night. Yer goin' nowhere”.

“Fuck!”.

“Sorry man, not meaning yer good self” put in Stu, but he knew that one Kev started in one of his moods, it would take some changing. “I'll bugger off and let you girls sort him out..”.

Off he went. He passed Wanger returning, who was waddling gingerly with 3 pint glasses held between two hands, his labcoat very obviously the recipient of some of the overspill.

He sat opposite kev in the middle of the corridor and handed out the drinks. Normal beer type colour these were. He saw his friends mood, knowing it all too well. Kev was very robust about most things but sometimes he got emotional over little things. Wanger was the person whom Kev trusted most.

Wanger poked a finger into kev's chest, dead centre.

“You shall not feel pain. Pain is the mindkiller...” Wanger chanted this over and over at Kev for a minute or so.

“....when all the pain is gone only I shall remain.” replied Kev automatically.

“You gave braved the gom jabbar, man!” said Wanger. “Here, drink of the water of life..” He passed Kev the remains of the green death.

Dune, by frank Herbert was a favourite of the both of them. Well, when they weren't playing Ultima 4, roleplaying or making arses of themselves generally. They were both quite avid readers.

Kev downed the remaining drink in one. “Be afraid, for he is the Kwisatz Hadrach!” beamed Wanger.

Kev could do naught but smile at his best mate. “Cheers, man!”

“Cheers!” Wanger picked up his own glass and took a hearty swig. “In one!” was kev's almost reflex response.

Wanger spluttered about half way, spilling some over his already soaked labcoat, which he promptly removed, revealing a well worn Wolfsbane t-shirt.

“Wish I could go back to normal that easy,” put in Kev.

And so they sat and talked for a while, Anya and Freya trying to keep up with the conversation, as it degenerated into talk in catchphrases from computers, books, films, and song.

“Pining for the Fjords!” exclaimed Wanger.

“Pining for the...” replied Wanger, who suddenly clutched his belly, “...Khazi. Shite!”

“Right, this time your coming with us”, said Anya, “Not having this sulking again, just got you sorted, thanks to Tony”. Anya never used wanger's nickname, thinking it sounded too rude to call a friend that, even though she knew that Kev had another friend who prefered to be called Twatto. He even had a hat made with the name proudly displayed across the front.

Anya stood up and grbbed both of Kev's hands, pulling on them. Freya also got up. Kev tried to stand.

“Bollocks!”

“Get up Kev.” Anya commanded. She was in 'boss' mode now and he knew he had to obey.

“Can't, legs wont work.”

“Freya, Tony, get him upright!”

They took up positions either side of him and applied upward force to his arms close to the armpits, Anya still tugging on his hands.

“Where's Stu when you need him?” mused Wanger, said friend being easily strong enough to pick Kev up.

However, Stu was not needed. Kev lurched to his feet and promptly fell into Anya, his head resting on her shoulder.

She spun him round and her and Freya took positions either side. He supported himself by draping his arms across their shoulders. He was drunk. His dad had always told him to drink standing, then you can stop when you feel your legs get wobbly.

“Upright!” Kev slurred. “Not goin' to the girls bogs though..”

“It's either the girls or you wet yourself.” said Anya, “and I'm not going home with you stinking!”

“Shite!” They wobbled off in the general direction of the ladies convenience.

...To be continued?

He's all dressed up and drunk. After the embarrassment of the Gents, can he brave the Ladies?   The Floral Tales Part 4 - Havoc By J Morose

Introduction

This story is based on a real club that existed in Southport, England in the 80's and early 90's. The events and characters areentirely fictional.

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their underage exploits when attending the local rock club.

He's all dressed up and drunk. After the embarrassment of the Gents, can he brave the Ladies?

• May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours
• And many thanks for all the encouraging comments
• Apologies for the typos, J

Part 4 - Havoc

From part 3...

She spun him round and her and Freya took positions either side. He supported himself by draping his arms across their shoulders. He was drunk. His dad had always told him to drink standing, then you can stop when you feel your legs get wobbly.

“Upright!” Kev slurred. “Not goin' to the girls bogs though..”

“It's either the girls or you wet yourself.” said Anya, “and I'm not going home with you stinking!”

“Shite!” They wobbled off in the general direction of the ladies convenience.

Floral Hall – Saturday 10:02pm

They stopped just outside the ladies toilet. Luckily, for them at least, there was not the usual queue out of the door.

“Ready?” said Anya, glancing at Freya with a smile, “One, two...”

She manoeuvred him through the door and into the ladies. “...and we're in!”

“Shite!”, mumbled Kev, “Gonna get chucked out for sure...”

They manouvred him towards an empty stall and with much effort managed to get him seated on the throne.

“Right, sort yourself out, we'll be right outside...” said Anya.

“...and close the door!” added Freya.

He slammed the door shut. 'safe, for now' he thought. 'But for how long'.

Meanwhile, outside, Anya and Freya took the opportunity to tart up their makeup.

“Think K'll be all right?” said freya, mindful to use just kev's initial to prevent attention been drawn to him.

“Yeah”, replied Anya, “give him 10 minutes, just needs to go and get his second wind...”

“You know best...” Freya was applying makeup with the determination of a Redskin warrior applying war paint.

“Awww, is she a Floral Virgin?” asked another woman, jockeying up to the mirror. It should be noted here that a 'Floral Virgin' was a title that was given to someone who was here for the first time. “You can tell, you know, not enough black...”

Anya grinned. “I can definitely confirm her virgin status, 'she' has never been here before!”

“Judging by the state, I'd say she's having a good night!” said the woman, “Well, gotta go and see my man, later...” and off she went.

Kev was listening while this exchange was going on, struggling with the tights and skirt again. Not a bloody Floral Virgin' he thought, 'And why the girls calling me she?' His sulk resumed, churning thoughts through his head.

This went on for about five minutes, Kev eventually deciding that he had best pretend to be a girl in here, as discovery would yield unknown penalties that he did not wish to pay. Also, he was happy that he was not getting the comments and innuendo he experienced when he was in the Gents earlier.

“You done in there?” It was Anya's voice.

“ah'umm..” he muttered softly, trying not to shout out and give the game away.

“Well, finish up, we've got to repair your face...”

Kev realised that Anya was doing her level best to look after him. Earlier, it went through his mind that she was doing this just to make him look a twat, for cheap laughs, but he was becoming accustomed to his attire somewhat and, together with the inebriation he experienced, decided that he was going to enjoy the night and to hell with what anyone thought.

With that thought in mind, he started on the process of getting his lower half covered again. 'Bloody girls, how do they cope with this shit?' he thought as he wrestled with the knickers and tights, poking his finger clean through the crotch of the tights. 'Oh well, not like I've not seen girls with holes in her tights here before...'

Feeling better and eventually dressed, he stood up gingerly and exited the cubicle.

“'Bout time”, said Anya, “C'mere and let me sort yer face out”. She gestured toward the other side of the room, where there was a counter with some sinks in it and a huge mirror above. This was way different to the Gents. First, it was not flooded, second, no urinals and third, there were mirrors. Oh, and there were women in there too. He did not note much on entering, keeping his head low to avoid discovery. He made his way over to the mirror, adopting a waddling gait usually reserved for sailors, cowboys and the standing inebriated.

Anya fished various items out of her bag and started on Kev's face, first wiping off most of the earlier stuff with wet wipes and then reapplying lipstick, eye shadow and other stuff.

“There, done!” she said a few minutes later, “Good to go! Can you walk on your own or do you need help?” she grinned.

“Be fine.” Kev mumbled and started on his way out of the ladies. 'Level cleared!' he thought, '+3 experience points!'.

-

Meanwhile, Stu and Wanger were back at the table adjacent to the dance floor, singing along to Shakin' by Wolfsbane.

“Nurse I'm sick, on you that uniforms just right, my thermometer fits, your mouth real nice....” they wailed along with the song. It was that time of night, where themed songs were played. They had already done Doctor Doctor by UFO and Doctor Rock by Motorhead.

Wanger caught sight of Kev and the girls across the room. “Hey! Kev's back in the land of the living...”

“Cool, shall I sort him a drink?”

“Nahh, leave it for a bit, he's had enough fer now.”

“Fair dos.” said Stu, getiing back into their catawauling. “We go round and round and up.....”

-

Kev made his way past the bar, which was now 4 people deep, towards the table where Wanger was sat. He saw his friends and lurched his way there, closely pursued by Anya and Freya. Stu waved and grinned.

Kev and the girls sat round the table. Stu was glad to see that Kev had brightened up a little.

-

A little while later and after a pint of Coke to jolly him up, Kev as starting to feel quite relaxed. He had spotted several 'nurses' around the place and it was starting to fill up with people. His inebriated demeanour was now 'happily pissed' and as such he sort of started not concerning himself with his attire at all and got stuck into his usual banter with the others. The DJ was playing 'Doctor feelgood' by Motley Crue.

“So whats all this talk about custard then?” said Anya.

Kev and Wanger replied at once, “Never underestimate the healing powers of Custard...”

“Eh?”

“'Tis the yellow nectar of all things good, cures owt....” said Kev.

“made me what I am today....” said Wanger.

Freya shook her head. “The halfwits are at it again.” Freya was of the opinion that 'wit' multiplies, not sums, therefore two halfwits make a quarter wit rather than a full wit, and seven halfwits made a town council meeting, having less than one percent of the wit of the average person.

“Turned me into a newt...” Kev was at it again.

The song ended and the DJ appeared on stage.

“Good evening Southport!” He shouted.

“Fuck off!” was the generic reply from about 500 people giving him the finger.

“It's Doctors and Nurses night!” he continued, completely unfazed by the usual response that had become one of the Floral rituals. “We need some medical help, are there any nurses in the house tonight?”

Several people raised their hands, both male and female, but all in nurses outfits.

“Anyone up for the nurse yard of ale competition?” he continued, “We've got all this lovely beer to give away...” He gestured towards a substantial stack of cans.

“Get up there man, win us some beer..” said Stu.

“Yeah Grammy, running a bit low on the old funds man, go win us some ale..” said Wanger.

Anya shook her head. Kev was not one to shirk a challenge. His state id not accommodate rational thoughts, so he said impulsively “Yeah, why not, got to be some benefit to being dressed like this”.

Anya knew now that he was completely oblivious to everything, focussed only on the free beer, which was the goal of every cash strapped teen on a night out.

Kev got up and was escorted to th stage by Wanger and Stu. He was lifted bodily by Stu onto the stage, which was some four feet above the dance floor.

There were several others of both genders appearing on stage and soon there was eight of them up there, Kev, two other girls and the other five were most definitely blokes.

“We got eight nurses!” shouted the DJ. “lets have your names...”

He went down the line with his mic and presented it to each in turn.

“Dave!” said the first.

“Baron von Biscuitbarrel!”

“Stable Daan!”

“Julie!”

“Kev!” The DJ paused.

“Kev? Thats an odd name for a girl Kev, “ said the DJ.

“It's me own..” said kev.

He continued down the line until the end.

“Ok, so we have five blokes in dresses, two girls and a Kev.” he continued. “The winner gets 24 cans of beer, second, eight and third four..”

Kev looked down at the people on the dance floor. It seemed that there were hundreds staring up at him. He spotted Anya and Freya sat at the table.

“Who wants to see how the nurses do with a yard glass?”

“Show us yer tits!” came a shout from the crowd.

“Show us yer hairy tits!” came another.

The bloke at the end, who had said his name was 'dave' lifted his dress andd gyrated. “Suck me love chunks!” was his reply. The DJ laughed. This was usual fare for the Floral.

Kev was embarassed by the attention of all those staring faces, but the lure of free ale had gotten the better of him again.

The DJ produced a yard glass. For those of you that do not know what a yard glass is, it is a glass trumpet about thirty inches long with an eight inch glass ball attached at the narrow end. The yard glass holds three pints of beer.

Filling the yard glass, the DJ proclaimed “Fastest wins, are you ready?”

there was much cheering from the crowd. The sounds of a beating drum was playing across the PA.

The DJ handed the glass to 'Dave', who held the glass aloft. “Ready......go!”

Dave placed the glass on his lips and drank for dear life, putting about half of it down his front. He gave up with about half drank and wearing the rest. There was booing from the crowd.

The Dj went along the line, everybody making a good effort but wearing substantial amounts of beer sown their front.

He finally reached the girl standing to the left of Kev, 'Julie'. She did a shimmy and fared little better than the rest. Handing the yard glass back, she pulled open her dress, revealing a t-shirt and mini.

“Get yer tits out!” came from the crowd. She grinned impishly, but declined, raising her hand.

“Kev, your turn love”, said the DJ, handing him the refilled yard glass. The drum roll over the Pa was still there. Kev knew, from his dad's mates, that the secret to drinking form a yard glass was to incline it very gently and to rotate the glass to meter out the flow of beer. He raised the trumpt of free beer to his lips and drank.

“Down in one. Down in one...” came the usual chant from the crowd. He drank and drank. It seemed to take forever.

He had finally reached his limit and stopped drinking, removing the yard glass and sputtering out about a half pint of beer, which went over several dozen peeople that were crowding around the stage. “Bollocks!” he exclaimed. The crowd cheered.

The glass went to the remaining con testants, who fared little better. In the end, it transpired that Kev was second. The DJ presented him his beer, which he did not need, having had the far side of enough, but Kev took it and held it aloft. The crowd cheered!

“Show us yer tits!”

Kev, having had enough of this, reached into his top and pulled out the balled up fabric from within his bra and hurled it at the astonished crowd.

“There yer go!” he yelled. He jumped off the stage and staggered back to the table where Anya and Freya were waiting. He flopped down on a chair and deposited the cans on the table. The crowd were still cheering.

Anya looked at him. He was even more drunk, somewhat unhappy and incoherent. “You OK Kev?” she said.

“Leave me alone!” he slurred. He felt tired. He closed his eyes.

-

That was the last he remembered about that night.

When he woke, he had a very large headache and was stiff all over. He opened his eyes and found himself in his parents living room with his mother sitting in a chair by the window reading the Sunday newspaper, face like thunder.

To be continued.......

He's back home, waking up on the day after the night before. What trauma awaits him as he returns to the land of the living?   The Floral Tales Part 5 - Aftermath By J Morose

Introduction

This story is based on a real club that existed in Southport, England in the 80's and early 90's. The events and characters are entirely fictional.

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their under age exploits when attending the local rock club.

He's back home, waking up on the day after the night before. What trauma awaits him as he returns to the land of the living?

Part 5 - Aftermath

From part 4...

Anya looked at him. He was even more drunk, somewhat unhappy and incoherent. “You OK Kev?” she said.

“Leave me alone!” he slurred. He felt tired. He closed his eyes.

That was the last he remembered about that night.

When he woke, he had a very large headache and was stiff all over. He opened his eyes and found himself in his parents livingroom with his mother sitting in a chair by the window reading the Sunday newspaper, face like thunder.

Kev's house – Sunday 13:05

“Hi mum!”, croaked Kev.

His mum glanced in his direction and put down the paper. Displeased was too mild of an expression for how her face looked at this moment.

“Don't you 'Hi Mum' me!” she screeched. “Look at the bloody state of you!” Kev's mother had a tonal range that went from normal kindly woman to skriking fish-wife on helium. Her voice went right through Kev, causing him to hold his head reflexively.

“Eh..... what!” mumbled Kev, unsure as to what he had done wrong. He thought that his mother had become accustomed to his usual state on Sundays after the Floral. Something was different, something definitely bad.

Kev racked his brains to try and remember last night. Then he remembered the dress, bra, tights and shoes. 'Shit!' he thought, 'I'm not still..'. He looked down and saw the beer stained nurses dress.

“Shit!” he mumbled.

“Don't you 'shit' me” screeched his mother, “What the hell happened to you last night, eh?” She was working up a good fume and was not about to let Kev get a word in edgeways.

“First, you are carried in by others, unconscious!”

'Fuck!' was all Kev could think...

“Second, look at your clothes!” Kev was painfully aware of how he was dressed. He thought about explaining but thought it best to let his mother get the usual tirade out of the way first.

“What if the neighbours saw you! What would they say if they saw you? How would I face them? Eh!”

“Why are you dressed like that!”, she exclaimed, loudly.

“I, uhhh...” said Kev.

“I don't want to hear it!”, she interrupted, “On second thoughts, yes I do. Are you gay?”

“Eh......ummm......no Mum, I like girls.” Said Kev.

“Do you!”. Her voice seemed to hit dog-whistle registers. “Then why are you dressed like a cheap tart, eh! Also, you stink!”

“Ummm.....well.....”

“Well what! Wait 'till your father comes home!”

'Ahh, the ultimate threat. Like dad could say worse' thought Kev, his head throbbing like the drums to a funeral dirge.

“Gotta go to th'loo.” Said Kev, struggling to get himself upright. “Shit!”

“And don't you use that language while you are living in my house!”

“Sorry mum.”, he grunted. He eventually made himself stand and staggered in the general direction of the bathroom.

Kev went upstairs and entered the bathroom. Across from the door was a large mirror above the sink. He caught his reflection.

“Fuck!”

He was not pleased. He still had his hair tied up by a now bedraggled ribbon, his darkened eyes made him look like a panda and his lips, bright red! Scanning further down, there was the nurses outfit, beer stains prominent. The curve of the bra was evident under the dress.

He looked further down, the skirt of the dress ended in legs clad in shabby tights with holes. He looked like the poster girl for a zombie movie. How did he let Anya talk him into this.

Stripping off the dress, which luckily for him fastened up the front, he was wearing a bra and some corset thingy that pulled in his waist. He fumbled around with the bra for a bit and eventually worked out that if he pulled his arms out of the shoulder straps he could spin it round and undo it easier. He removed the tights and what he had underneath and decided that the corset would have to wait, he was not up to that now.

A little later and much relieved, he finished his business and decided to wash off all the stuff on his face.

After a few minutes of blokey scrubbing, he figured that some of it would require special attention and it was not for coming off with soap and water.

“Shite!”. He had tried drying his face and had covered the towel with various streaks of colour. “Bugger it!”

He went to his room and threw on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. The next move of course was to get something to drink and a couple of asprin, but that would man braving his mother again. His head was not up to it and he fell asleep on the bed.

Kev's bedroom – Sunday 14.56pm

Kev awoke with a start.

“Shite! What day is it!” He scanned the room looking for the clock and found it was just shy of three o'clock. His head hurt and his mouth felt like it had been scoured clean with wire wool.

He got up and went to the bathroom, did his business and once again looked in the mirror. It looked like he had lost a fight in a crayon factory, but he was dressed normally.

“Bugger!”

He went downstairs and headed for the kitchen, where his father was making a cup of coffee.

“Its alive!” said his dad, looking completely non-plussed. “What the hell happened to you last night? You went out looking your usual self and come back as the bride of Frankenstein. Tell me son, your not gay are you?”

“No!” exclaimed Kev, “Brew!”. He gestured toward the kettle.

“OK, but we are going to have a long chat with your mother as soon as it's made!”

'Oh shit!' thought Kev, not wanting to face his mother again.

“Anyway, was it a good night, son?”

“First bit was OK”. Kev was a bit relieved to be exchanging small talk with his dad rather than being on the receiving end of some shouty lecture. Worry still lined his face though.

His dad handed him the drink, strong tea by the looks of it. “Cheers dad”.

“C'mon, let's face your mother...”

His dad gestured toward the door. Kev really did not want this right now, feeling somewhat more than delicate.

“You may as well get it over with, but afterwards, we will have a bit of a talk.”

“OK dad....”

Kev opened the living room door and poked his head around it. His mother was still sat in the chair, this time watching some sunday morning religious nonsense on TV. She looked up and saw him standing ther in the doorway.

“Kevin! We need to talk!” His mother had lost none of her shrillness, but was a little less animated than earlier.

'Oh shit' thought Kev, 'well, best face the music'.

Kev took a seat on the sofa as far away fro his mother as he possibly could, hoping the distance would give him some room to manoeuvre if she became unpredictable. He sat hunched over and nursing his drink, his hair falling over his face which brought welcome relief from the stark daylight streaming through the windows. His dad followed him in and sat at the other end of the sofa.

“Now that we are all here..” His mother had started, “Perhaps you might like to offer us an explanation for your state this morning.”

“Well, me and Wan...sorry Tony went round to Anya's house....” Kev was feeling somewhat shaky.

“And...”

“Well..... it's a theme night.....so Anya.........bright idea........bugger!”

“Don't use that tone with me Kevin!” His mother was in fine form again.

“Let him speak love.” said dad, “I'm sure there is perfectly reasonable explanation to all this.”

His mother glared at her husband. She thought he would be more upset by this.

Kev explained haltingly about last night, leaving out Anya's offer and the ladies toilet bit. He still could not remember much about the latter half of the night or how he got home. He decided he would have to speak to Anya and Wanger later.

Kev's parents listened quietly, but the sense of growing disapproval grew as Kev told his tale, especially from his mother.Finally his dad spoke.

“Well, we were all young once I suppose...”

“What's that suppose to mean? Have you seen the bloody state of him?”

“Now love, don't get so het up.”

'Cool' thought Kev. At least his dad saw a bit of sense.

“But...” His mother was still somewhat incensed. “Did you see what he was wearing?”

“And who was it that made a dress out of a pair of curtains when in college ?” This was getting interesting. Kev listened intently, not wanting to put his foot in it any more.

“What's that got to do with anything? Dress is womans clothing, not for men..”

“But you wear pants and shirts and stuff..”

“They are called blouses dear, not shirts and......” Looking extremely exasperated, Kev's mother gave up. “Oh! I give up! I've gotta make tea anyway.”

With that, she got up and stomped out to the kitchen, slamming the door behind her.

Kev had finished his brew and started to get up. His dad held his hand up and was smiling a little.

“sit down son. We need a little chat.” His smile remained. Kev looked little relieved. His dad was quite an odd fellow, sometimes he could be the last bastion of a Victorian era conservativeness and at other times his views were quite progressive.

“I was young once you know...” he started, “Let me tell you a tale...”

He told this story about a nineteen year old apprentice who was dating one of the nurses at a Manchester teaching Hospital. This fellow decided to sneak into the nurses home to see his beloved and thought he would manage it better in disguise, so he wore a nurses uniform and a heavy coat and snuck into the home and met with his sweetheart.

“You sound like you are talking from experience...” said Kev.

“Well..” His dad went bright red, “actually...”

'Whoa!' Thought kev. “No wonder you didn't say owt.” He exclaimed.

“But I did not let everyone see me and I was not living at home at the time.”

kev thought on this. “But I've seen the old photos, you had a moustache..”

“Not that night I didn't...But I did not do makeup, or false breasts or wear womens underwear either.”

Kev thought a little on this. “Does mum know?”

“Nope. Don't want her doing her nut.”

“Fair enough.” Kev could be reasonable when he wanted to be. “I'm gonna go see Wanger for a bit,” A change of direction and he really did need to find out what happened last night. “be back for tea.”

“OK, but next time, know your limits, drink standing up!”

“Will do. Oh and dad...”

“What?”

“Thanks for not chucking a mental on me.”

With that Kev grabbed his boots and coat and was off out of the door in very short order, preventing any intervention by his mother, whom was probably still mad as a wasp in the kitchen.

Wanger's House – Sunday 16:15

Kev knocked on wanger's bedroom door and let himself in. Wanger was sitting at his computer, obviously nowhere near in the state that Kev was in today. Kev was impatient to find out what happened.

“Grammy!” Wanger sounded surprised. “Didn't think you'd be about today.”

“What the shuddering fuck happened last night Wanger”. Kev was very impatient.

“Calm down, this'll take a while. I'll go and fetch some pop.” Wanger got up, “Coke do?”

Kev nodded his head and Wanger charged out of the room and returned shortly with two cans.

“So, what the fuck happened?”

“Upto where can you remember, girlyboy?” Wanger had an impish smile at this point.

“Girlyboy!” Kev was starting to get the feeling that he would not live this down soon.

“Yup, girlyboy. Well look..” Wanger gestured to Kev's waist and his face. “Looked in the mirror today? You still got a girls hairdo, your face still has makeup on, you got bright red nails and your waist, it shouldn't look like that, man.”

“Couldn't get the bastard stuff off,” kev was so not pleased, as he had totally forgotten all of that in his haze and quest for truth. “Bollocks.”

“Or lack thereof!” Wanger chuckled.

Kev took a big swig of the caffeine goodness in a tin. “Anyway, about last night...”

“Well you see...” Wanger was going to take his time, that much was certain. “What was the last thing you remember?”

“Yard of ale.”

Wanger had a grin that seemed to indicate that he was going to enjoy this.

To be continued.......

“As you sow so shall you reap and I my friend have plenty,

So sit you down and eat your words now that your plate is empty.”

All your typo are belong to us.

If someone wants to proofread my stuff, please IM me. Serious offers only please.

May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours
And many thanks for all the encouraging comments - J

He's back home, waking up on the day after the night before. What trauma awaits him as he returns to the land of the living?   The Floral Tales Part 6 - Disclosure By J Morose

---

Introduction

This story is based on a real club that existed in Southport, England in the 80's and early 90's. The events and characters are entirely fictional.

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their under age exploits when attending the local rock club.

He's back home, waking up on the day after the night before. What trauma awaits him as he returns to the land of the living?

Part 6 - Disclosure

From part 5...

Kev took a big swig of the caffeine goodness in a tin. “Anyway, about last night...”

“Well you see...” Wanger was going to take his time, that much was certain. “What was the last thing you remember?”

“Yard of ale.”

Wanger had a grin that seemed to indicate that he was going to enjoy this.

Wanger's House – Sunday 17:23

“You sure that's al you remember?” Wanger's grin grew.

“Look, just bloody tell me.” Kev cradled his head in his hands.

“You sure you wanna know?”

“Fer fucks sake yer mong, just tell me!” kev was getting most impatient.

“Ok, well it sort of goes like this...”

The retelling started just after the yard of ale competition and vivid desription of Kev's inebriation.

“Already worked that bit out. And?”

“Well, there was this biker guy, you remember Wossisname...”

“Sort of...” Wossisname is the nickname of a bloke that has stuck after several people could not recall his actual name and the nickname, as they so often do.

“Well, he was pissed, not as bad as you were mind...”
Wanger grinned some more.

“Don't tell me...” Kev held his head in his hands.

“Ha! Got you there.” It was obvoius that Wanger was enjoying tormenting his mate a little. “Actually, he asked, in all seriousness whether you would meet one of his mates.”

“Shit!”

“Yep, and you and Anya went over..”

“And..”

“look, you were well pissed, mate.”

“And!” Kev was getting more insistent. He really needed to know.

“So, this mate of Wossisname, he said about how good you looked...”

“Fuck! No!”

“And he asked about, you know, the dressing up..”

Kev was now going bright red, his hands completely holding his head now.

Wanger continued. “And you said 'what dressing up?' and he laughed and you thought he was laughing at you and you musta forgotten what you were wearing because you told him that there are lots of blokes dress the same as you and he laughed more.”

Kev was speechless, how was he going to explain this away.

“And then he told you to calm down and you said you would if he got you a drink...”

Kev was now mortified. Wossisname was massive, six foot six and almost as wide and his mates were also equally substantial.

“Then you proclaimed to have the 'stompy boots of power' and that's what finished it...”

“Finished what?”

“Well,, with you wearing those girly shoes and all,” Wanger was chuckling now, “All he could do was laugh. He then said 'Keep yer tits on!'. Me and Anya were in uproar, as you'd chucked them away during the yard of ale...”

Wanger was openly laughing now. “Then what...” Kev said, sullenly.

“You sure you wanna know, girlyboy!”

“Stop callin' me that! Yer mong!” Grunted Kev, “Get on wi' it.”

“Well, you charged off when midnight madness started and so me and Anya joined you for a bit and then you sorta fell over.”

It should be said at this moment, midnight madness was, unsurprisingly, at midnight. The DJ played many silly songs, such as Nellie the Elephant (Toy Dolls), Minnie the Moocher (Cab Calloway) and stuff from Status Quo, Dave lee Roth, various TV themes and party songs. The 'madness' culminating with the theme from Thunderbirds. Each week it was the same songs and each had its own specific 'dance', although dancing was not quite the term that could be applied to the general melee that usually ensued. Both Kev and Wanger were accomplished followers, the measure of skill being how little one fell or was knocked over for the duration of the madness, which generally lasted about half an hour.

Wanger continued, “then a whole bunch of people fell over you and thats when Wossisname's mate charged in to rescue you.”

“Could have handled it.”

“Dunno, you were well pissed. Anyway, he picked you up off the floor and thats when Stu ran into you.”

“Stu, what the...”

“Yep, he called Wossisname's mate 'A gentleman and scholar', picked you up, sat you on his shoulders and charged right back in as Thunderbirds started.

“safe!” said Kev, “Least Stu weren't acting like a wrong 'un.”

“Listen, the only wrong 'un last night was you, spacker!”

“Whaddya mean by that!” Kev, his embarrassment forgotten, grew quite indignant.

“Well, dressing up like that,” Wanger gestured, “and then, after being so miserable about it, then charging around the place like a crossdressing loon. Took a ruck of effort just to keep yer out of grief.” (It should be noted that a 'ruck' is a quantity equivalent to 'lots and lots').

Kev thought on this for a few moments and realising he was somewhat beholden to his friend apologised. “Sorry mate.”

“Don't worry about it, pulled me out of the shit often enough.” Wanger smiled once more, “but man, do summat about your look!”

Kev had forgotten again how he looked, so Kev escorted him to the bathroom where there was a large mirror.

“For fucks sake!” Kev grumbled, “Do yer have owt in here to get rid of this?”

“I'll ask me mum.” before kev could protest, Wanger darted out of the bathroom and was gone. Kev looked in the mirror again, turning one way, then the other and grudgingly admitted his slightly feminine appearance, the makeup notwithstanding and decided that when he got cleaned up he would look better.

Wanger returned shortly, his mother closely behind him, clutching bottles and bags and such. Wanger's mother, called Auntie Joan by Kev, was a homely looking woman with a big heart, always infectiouslly cheerful.

“Hi Kev!” She was in fine form today, bubbly as ever, “Wondered what our Tony wanted these for, now I can see. What happened to you?”

Kev shot his mate an evil glare, “Don't ask!”

“Ok, but we need to get this lot off so sit on the edge of the bath and I'll do your face first.”

Kev then got his first introduction to make up removal and all the lotions, potions and wipes that go with it. This followed by a removal of the nail polish and a lecture on various potions including cuticle cream and 'letting the pores breathe'. Kev was so grateful to have the stuff finally off him that he put up with the lecture in good humour, although he did not say much the whole time. Wanger giggled the whole way through this though, much to Kev's dismay.

“Cheers, Auntie Joan!” Kev was more happy now. He caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror and looked more like himself.

“You're welcome Kevin. Next time you want to try make up, make sure you have the stuff to remove it afterwards.”

With that, she was gone.

“Right, I'm off home, catch yer later.” Kev was feeling a little happier with himself now.

“Later, man!”

Kev's House – Sunday 18:20

Kev returned home for his tea and further chastisement, not that he wanted to be told off, it's just that he had decided that the best course of action was to get it over with.

His mother was there when he went in. “So, you're back then?”

“Hi!” Kev was still a little nervous, but his new cosmetic free state gave him a little confidence. He threw his jacket on the newel post at the bottom of the stairs.

“Tea's nearly ready.” Her face betrayed the fact that she was still not pleased.

“Ok.”

“Oh, and Kevin, we still need to finish our little chat from before.”

'Little chat' thought Kev, 'Doubt the bloody Gestapo could do better.'

“OK Mum.”

Kev went up to his room. His room, as usual, was a typical teenagers room, no carpet visible, posters on the wall, clothes hung up on the floor in various heaps and so on. He quickly stripped off his t-shirt and set about wrestling once more with the corset that he had now been wearing it for the past day or so.

He twisted and contorted himself into various unseemly shapes, but still could not reach the knot that had been tied halfway up his back. Then he had an idea.

Reaching into a drawer, he produced a pair of wire cutters, twisted round and cut the cord holding the infernal thing shut. Unpicking the cord, he felt immediate relief and suddenly felt very hungry.

'Good job tea is nearly ready' He thought, 'Bloody famished!'

With this thought in mind, he stuffed the corset in the bottom of the wardrobe, so as to hid it from his parents, together with the rest of the stuff from last night. 'No need to provoke the ancestors!'

Kev went downstairs for the evening meal, which was a traditional Sunday roast, lamb, roast potatoes, various veg and mint sauce. He ate several helpings of the food. The meal was a little strained however, with his mother's scowl and father's disinterest. Needless to say, apart from the minimum necessary for the sake of politeness, the conversation was non-existent.

The meal finished, Kev was dreading this part, he could see his mother getting more and more ready to launch into another tirade.

“So Kevin, we need to finish that little talk we were having earlier.”

'Shit!' Thought Kev, 'Not again...'

His mother went off again in the same vein as before, with concerns primarily about her embarrassment if anyone she knew found out, questions about Kev's sexuality, rants about excessive drunkenness and so on. His dad had kept quiet during all this, trying to appear involved in the discussion when it was quite obvious that all he wanted to do was go and watch some television. Then his mother dropped the bombshell....

To be continued.......

“True wisdom walks hand in hand with adversity,

Knowledge exists on the brink of uncertainty.”

All your typos are belong to us.

If someone wants to proofread my stuff, please IM me. Serious offers only please.

[edit] had an offer for my other stuff, but not the Floral Tales yet...

May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours
And many thanks for all the encouraging comments - J

He's back home and his mother wants to give him a long big talking to...   The Floral Tales Part 7 - Revelations By J Morose

---

Introduction

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their under age exploits when attending the local rock club.

He's back home and his mother wants to give him a long big talking to...

Part 7 - Revelations

From part 6...

“So Kevin, we need to finish that little talk we were having earlier.”

'Shit!' Thought Kev, 'Not again...'

His mother went off again in the same vein as before, with concerns primarily about her embarrassment if anyone she knew found out, questions about Kev's sexuality, rants about excessive drunkenness and so on. His dad had kept quiet during all this, trying to appear involved in the discussion when it was quite obvious that all he wanted to do was go and watch some television. Then his mother dropped the bombshell....

Kev's House – Sunday Evening

“Kevin, you know we really love you, both me and your dad.”

'It's going to be one of those...' Thought Kev. The last time they wanted to have the long big chat, it was about his long hair and the people he was friends with. All that turned out fine in the end though, once his mother discovered that they were nice, decent people behind all that rocker rough exterior.

“Ah-huh...” replied Kev.

“Well, we have known for quite some time about your little...erm... quirks shall we say.”

It was obvious that mother was embarrassed about what she was going to talk about, which made Kev feel embarrassed and defensive, especially as he had no idea what she was talking about.

She continued. “Well, it's about you wearing women's clothing.....”

'Shite,' thought Kev, 'not again.'

“...well, me and your dad discussed this this morning, while you were flaked out on the sofa....”

“Huh?”

“...Well, we have known for quite some time about your dressing up games.”

'dressing up games?' thought Kev. 'Oh shit, they know!'

“When you were young, I caught you a time or two stumbling about with a pair of my shoes on....”

“Don't remember that!” said Kev, who remembered of course, but did not think he had been caught. He went red.

“Well, we did not say anything, thinking it will just be something you will grow out of, a phase.”

“Uh...” 'what!'

“And I know you have some girl's clothes hidden in the wardrobe, you can't hide this you know...” His mother was in full on lecture mode now.

Kev felt very defensive, his private things, his life laid bare in front of his parents, even though he had yet to say anything that remotely resembled words.

“So, we spoke about this and want to know, are you one of those transvestite things, you know, that get off on women's clothes?”

Here it was the clincher. Denial was useless, perhaps if he tried to explain he would soften them somewhat.

“Mum,” He started, haltingly, “I do not get off on....... well, what you said. I.. erm.. don't know how to say this... erm....”

“Go on, elucidate..” Posh words again, used to show a sense of superiority over him. This was one of his mother's favourite tactics when he was lost for words.

“Well... erm.. sorta... it goes like this...”

'Do I really want to say this?' inquired Kev to himself. He looked at his dad, who, was trying to not take part by pretending to read the newspaper. He remembered the embarrassed chats he had with his dad a few years ago, about sex. Sex was the one subject not really talked about in the house, certainly not around Kev anyway. His dad had haltingly had the 'birds and bees' chat and was at the time as embarrassed about it as Kev was. This was going no better.

“look mum, I just like wearing girls stuff, not to go out or anything, just around the house, like..” There he had said it. 'Perhaps the not going out would mitigate things a bit' he thought.

“Like last night.” His mothers face had degenerated from thunder into the 'bulldog chewing a wasp' look. “Didn't raise you to be a pervert.”

“I'm not a pervert!”

“Could have fooled me!”

“Well I'm not!”

“And you claim to be not gay, going out looking like a cheap tart!” His mother was once again in fine voice. Her vocal range going up an octave each time.

“Not like that”

“Well, what's it like then?”

“Dunno, don't feel sexy wearing 'em, just like it..”

“So, if your not a pervert, are you one off them tranny things then?”

“Tranny things, dunno? What's that then?” Kev's worldly experience was not much and he associated 'trannys' with the likes of Dame Edna Everidge and other comedians who used drag as part of their act, a parody of women. Kev knew that he did not feel ike that at all.

“You know quite well, young man!”

“Do I? I know that I'm no pervert, I like girls, mum.”

“You wont get girls looking like you did last night!”

“It was a girl that dressed me like this!”

“Well, I don't wish to see that again, you stop it at once, you hear!”

Kev decided to keep the peace. “Umm... okay.”

“Good, while your living under my roof, you follow the rules of the house, young man.” She was still mad, “Don't know why I call you young man though, no man would be seen dressed like that! You promise!”

Kev glanced at his father who, if he could have retracted his head into his body, would have done so, tortoise like. 'No help there then' he thought.

With that, he took his leave once more and skulked off to his room.

Anya's House – Sunday Evening

Anya was sat in her room talking to Freya. The gentle tones of Xmal Deutschland were coming from the small hi-fi in the corner of the room, lending the conversation a sombre gravitas. The subject of last night's antics were broached one more.

“So, I wonder how Kev got on today, his mum can be a bit of a dragon at times.” Said Freya.

“Dunno, he was well wasted last night, not seen him like that for ages.” Anya replied, looking somewhat concerned for her erstwhile boyfriend.

“Tony phoned earlier, it seemed he and Stu dumped him on his parent's sofa and scarpered.” (Scarper – UK English slang, verb, meaning 'to beat a hasty retreat')

“Would not like to be him now, they should have taken him to his room, least then he would have chance to get out of the clothes.”

“So, what did you mean yesterday?” Freya's impish smile did not do much to hide her curiosity, in fact it did more to emphasise it.

“Don't know what you are talking about..” Anya knew damn well, of course, but she did not want to drop her boyfriend in it more than he already was.

“Don't tell me you found out that he likes girl's clothes!” Freya squealed. “Didn't see that one coming!”

“Freya Palsdottir! I never said that.” Anya was trying denial, an expression that did not become her, as her face gave the game away every time.

“Well, I think it's cool, him trying to express a feminine side, more blokes need to calm down a bit..”

“He's so uptight though, you can't talk to him much about owt intimate, he just clams up!”

“Sure you'll sort it, you sort everything else...” Anya had a bit of a reputation as a troubleshooter, peacemaker and matchmaker amongst her friends. This was not out of any great skill, its just she preferred to avoid confrontation.

“Dunno.” She was thinking. “I need to take his clothes over and retrieve those of mine he was wearing, but I don't fancy facing his mum at the moment though.”

Freya thought on this. “Maybe you should leave it a day or so, to let things calm down a little.”

“Maybe so, but I need to speak to him though, let him know he is not alone.”

They talked on and on, with Anya showing concern for Kev and Freya being Devil's advocate.

Kev's House – Sunday Evening

Kev was still in his room. He decided that he would stay up here rather than face his mother any more. He booted up his Amiga, loaded the copy of Ultima he made from Wanger's copy and put something loud on the record deck.

He spent a while lost in the game, the melodic tones of Lemmy belting out of the speakers served to block his mind from dwelling on things. His in game character, a female magician, was doing well, having found one of the eight magical gems.

His concentration was broken by a knock on the door. Looking round, Wanger poked his head around the door.

“You decent?”

“Come in!” He was happy to see his friend.

“Just ran the gauntlet with the big boss, you know, yer mum.”

“Level cleared?” Inquired kev.

“Yep. Bonus points for stealth and discretion!” Wanger had a big grin. “She wanted to know all about last night, but I figured you did not want to let on, so I pleaded ignorance and said that you were like that when I got there.”

“Cheers man, lifesaver!” Kev and Wanger were always close, looking out for each others interests, regardless of the names they called each other from time to time.

“Anyway man, had Wossisname's mate on the phone, he wondered if you were into a bit of roleplaying, so I said 'yes', so he asked about tomorrow night.”

Kev once more was not amused. “Not dressing up for no gay stuff!” he exclaimed gruffly. He was painfully reminded of earlier when Wanger regaled him with tales of his exploits, especially centred around Wossisname and his mates.

“Nah yer spacker!” wanger was on the defensive, “Roleplaying, you know, like Shadowrun or Warhammer..”

Embarrassed by his outburst, all Kev could manage was “Oh!”

“Well, if your interested, we could both go, not been to a game since we discovered ale..”

“Well, neither have I,” Kev was coming round now. “OK, lets go.”

The conversation degenerated into discussions on role playing games, Ultima, music, beer and girls, with no reference about last night made by unspoken agreement, probably to prevent eavesdropping.

Wanger left soon after, clearing the 'supplementary inquisition level', the term he used to Kev and was gone.

Kev sat alone in his room once more and climbing into bed, sleep was not long coming. He had weird dreams that night, dreaming he was a girl and dreams of shopping for clothes and of beauty treatments and of being approached by blokes in the pub. He did not know whether it was a dream or nightmare.

***

Tossing and turning, his fitful slumber gave little rest and so, at six in the morning, he awoke and stumbled to the bathroom for his morning ablutions. Kev was most definitely not a morning person.

Going downstairs, he found he was the first up and so made himself a big mug of tea and a 'bacon sarnie'. (Bacon sandwich with the bacon, fried of course, fried onions and lashings of HP sauce).

He ate quickly and sated his hunger. He was feeling a little more human now. Making another brew and taking it upstairs, he resolved himself for getting ready for college. He decided to set off early, as he wanted to go and pop in to Anya's house along the way.

Dressed and fed, he went back downstairs. His dad was up now, so he made his dad a coffee and a bacon sarnie, saving his dad the trauma of cooking. It was even said that his dad could burn water, so best not to risk it, he thought.

Completing his 'dutiful son' routine, he put on his jacket and lid (Helmet, for the non-initiated) and got his Honda H100 out of the garage and made his way over to Anya's house.

Anya's house, Monday, 7:50AM

Kev rang the doorbell, lid tucked under his arm. Anya's dad answered the door. Her dad was an old hippy type and seemed to be more liberal than either his own dad or mum.

“Hi Kevin, come in, she's just getting up, but join us in the kitchen and she'll be down shortly..”

“Thanks, Mister Mulholland.”

“Call me Dave, you've been coming round here often enough that we don't need to be so formal.”

“Okay” With that Kev went in and sat in the kitchen, waiting for Anya.

Anya, hearing that Kev was at the door, finished up quickly and rushed downstairs to see him. She burst into the kitchen, wearing only a black bathrobe, smiling. Kev thought she looked gorgeous like that, without all the makeup or gothy stuff, her long hair wrapped in a towel like a turban.

“Hi Kev, how's my favourite girl this morning!”

To be continued.......

“I'd give up my halo for a horn,

And the horn for a hat I once had.”

If someone wants to proofread my The Floral Tales, please IM
me. Serious offers only please.

May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours
And many thanks for all the encouraging comments – Jay.

Looks like he's been dropped in it by his girlfriend again...   The Floral Tales Part 8 By J Morose

---

Introduction

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their under age exploits when attending the local rock club.

Part 8 – Back to reality

From part 7...

Anya, hearing that Kev was at the door, finished up quickly and rushed downstairs to see him. She burst into the kitchen, wearing only a black bathrobe, smiling. Kev thought she looked gorgeous like that, without all the makeup or gothy stuff, her long hair wrapped in a towel like a turban.

“Hi, Kev, how's my favourite girl this morning!”

Anya's house, Monday, 7:50AM

“Girl!”, both Kev and Anya's father chorused. The look on Kev's face indicated his displeasure.

“Is there something your not telling me, Kevin?” Anya's father had his inquisitive face on.

“It's nothing!” Quipped Kev.

“Well, I think you looked lovely on Saturday!” chimed Anya, “It was a right, good night too.”

“So, what's this 'girl' thing?” Anya's father was curious, not demanding in his demeanour, which put Kev less on the defensive, but still highly embarrassed.

“Well...” Anya regaled her father with a sanitised and edited version of last Saturday night.

“Wow!” said her father, “Any pictures?”

“Will have when they are developed.”

Kev went beetroot red. He was now sure he would never hear the end of this.

Anya's mother joined the conversation at that point, upon entering the kitchen.

“Dave, it's like having a younger you about the place.” She smiled at Kev, “Don't be embarrassed, dear, you should have heard of some of the things Dave used to get up to when he was younger.”

“Yeah, I was really way-out.”

“Like that time your mother had the local vicar and his wife over. You hated them...”

“Yeah, always telling folk what to do, this a sin, that a sin, basically everything enjoyable was an affront to decency and to God...”

“So tell them what you did,” Anya's mother had developed a large smile.

“So to wind the stuffy old bugger up, I went into the front room wearing one of your mother's dresses.”

“You had a beard and your chest hair was hanging over the front of the neck too! Bloody hilarious!”

“Nearly gave him a heart attack!” Anya's father’s expression, seemed to indicate that he was well pleased with himself and enjoyed the memory.

Kev was somewhat reassured. At least last Saturdays Floral would not cause ructions in this household. He had a new found respect for Anya's parents. He just wished his own were as easy going as them.

Kev sat and listened intently while they ate breakfast. Afterwards, Anya came up to him and gave him a hug.

“Oh, got something for you,” Kev rummaged in his bag and produced a carrier bag which he presented to Anya. “Believe these are yours...”

“Thanks,” she took the bag and opened it--wrinkling her nose she said—“At least you could have washed them!”

“With my mother gurning at me, no way!” (Gurning, a pastime of a small town called Egremont in Northern England, where people compete to pull the ugliest face possible).

“You can tell me about it later. Still get your dinner at 12:30?”

“Yup, meet you at the usual place?” enquired Kev.

“Okay,” Anya, smiled and gave him a hug.

Kev took this as his cue to depart, so grabbing his bag and lid, he made his way to college.

Outside Southport College – Monday, 12:35

Kev waited patiently for Anya to turn up. He sat quietly on the low brick wall that surrounded the college property; a popular meeting place. Other students were similarly ensconced, chatting away merrily in their own groups. Kev thought back on the morning. He was happy for the distraction of college, his lectures were interesting for a change, he was doing electricity and magnetism in Physics and maths was easy as usual. Luckily for him, none of his classmates were rockers, which in this instance, was a massive bonus, as he did not have to relive umpteen questions, jibes and so on about the previous Floral.

Kev looked once more at the road that led from the town centre and caught sight of Anya walking down the road, accompanied by Freya.

'Damn!' He thought, 'Wanted a bit of time alone with Anya'. It was usual that except for dates and the like, Anya and Freya were virtually inseparable.

He waved as the girls approached and they waved back. “Hi, Kev!” they chorused.

Greetings and hugs duly exchanged, Kev and the girls decided on grabbing something from the local butty shop (sandwich shop) and going to find a quiet spot to eat and talk.

Food was duly procured, Kev opting for the chicken fillet, salad on white, no butter of course and HP sauce; the condiment of champions. The girls bought similar and off they walked through the town centre towards the promenade, passing shops on their way.

The girls of course, could not let the opportunity to window shop pass them by, much to Kev's chagrin. His stock response when queried about an outfit in the window was “Looks okay,” did not bother the girls; used to it as they were.

There appeared to be a slightly different feel to their questions this time though, as though they were trying to discern Kev's taste in clothing.

“Kev, don't you think this one looks sweet?” Anya pointed towards a dress in the window, some flowery thing.

“Looks okay,” Kev's automatic response kicked in, then he though on, “but I can't see you wearing owt like that...”

She smiled mysteriously, “Not looking at it for me.”

“Look, you would look good wearing anything..” put in Kev.

Anya smiled. Freya chipped in, “Yeah, but what do you think of the style, Kev?”

“Dunno, 's a dress.”

The conversation went on and on for the next fifteen minutes, with Kev being shown skirts, dresses, blouses and shoes in various shops on the way. Finally, he’d had enough.

“What is it with you two? You've never consulted me about your clothes before?”

“Just thought you might be interested...” smiled Anya, “C'mon, lets sit here and talk.” She gestured toward a nearby bench.

They sat, “Talk about what?”

“Well, about you liking girls clothes,” said Freya.

“We know all about it,” Anya had her mysterious face on again.

“What!” Kev was outraged and made to stand up. Anya put her arm around him, preventing him leaving. “I don't like...”

“Look, we know all about people like you,” said Freya. “We did a class about gender and stuff at school a few years ago.”

“What, boys?” griped Kev. Anya and Freya had gone to the local girls’ school, while Kev had attended a private school that was all boys. Kev had never received much in the way of sex education, it being a Catholic school and all, just concentrating on the biology of reproduction. It would appear that Anya and Freya had received a more comprehensive education.

“Boys who like to be girls..” said Anya, “they call it gender identity disorder or something...”

“I don't want to be a girl!” Kev was getting a little defensive now. Glaring at Anya he said, “I was wondering why you dressed me up, now I know. You think I want to be a girl.”

“Well, don't you?” queried Anya, looking slightly worried.

Kev was not a happy bunny at all, this was going all wrong. He thought that he should just be the blokey bloke and act all masculine and macho, as that was what every lad he associated with did. Bravado and boasts and macho stuff. He had never heard of this 'gender identity' stuff and things he did at home were private-just things he did.

“No! What the fuck? No! No! Don't wanna be no girl...” he was getting flustered.

Seeing the panic in Kev, Freya decided to let things go for now. She tried diffusing the situation. “Okay, Kev, sorry, we got it wrong, just calm down.”

“Don't wanna be a girl...” mumbled Kev.

“Sorry.” Anya gave him a peck on the cheek, “C'mon, lets eat..”

They sat on the bench for a little while, not talking much as they ate their food. Kev was looking sullen and the girls were looking concerned for him.

Kev's house, Monday, 6:03pm

“Kevin, phone,” he heard his mother call to him from the hall. He was sitting in his room, brooding and listening to some of his Dad's old records; 'Next' by the sensational Alex Harvey Band was currently being played.

“Coming,” he charged down the stairs and grabbed the receiver,“Hi.”

“Hiya Kev,” it was Wanger. “Going to role play tonight?”

“Tonight?” he’d forgotten about this.

“Yep, you know, at Wossisname's mates place.”

“Oh shit! Yeah, okay, summat to do.”

“Seeya at mine in about thirty...”

“Seeya,” Kev put the phone down.

He informed his mother about going out, and had the usual inquisition about where he was going and what he was going to be doing. He scoffed his dinner at his usual rapid pace and got ready to leave.

Sitting in his room, pulling on his boots, he remembered what Wanger told him he had done on at the Floral regarding Wossisname's friend. He had already committed to go and he did not want to let Wanger down, as he would not go if Kev decided to not attend.

“Shite!” he said, to no one in particular.

Wanger's house, 7:10pm

Kev poked his head around Wanger's bedroom door.

“Hi, how's it hanging?”

“Straight down. Come in, just getting ready.” Wanger was sorting out his lack of hairstyle, which currently closely resembled a giant fur-ball. “So, how's it with you?” he inquired.

“Don't ask.” Kev was still not happy. “Just don't bloody ask.”

“That good? Look, forget about Saturday, yer spacker, just get over it!”

“Easy for you to say, mong. It wasn't you in girl's stuff...”

“Okay!” Wanger was losing his cool a bit, “You rolled a six on the making an arse of yourself table, but who hasn't? Nobody'll give a fuck by next week..”

“That's what you think?” Kev was exasperated. Even his best mate was now getting on his case. “People don't think you wanna be a girl!”

“What?” The look of surprise on Wanger's face was replaced by sniggering laughter. “Where the actual fuck, did they dredge that one from?”

“Well...” Kev was mumbling now, head down, “Sorta told me mum that to shock her and get her to leave me alone.”

“Fuck and shite, man!” Wanger was laughing openly now. “You don't half know how to wind folk up. How did they take it?”

Kev was reassured by his friend's dismissal of what he just said. “Well, put it this way, I don't think I'll be honourable number one son for a while...”

“That good? Look, the force is strong within you.” Wanger gestured with his hand, wiggling it in the air in front of Kev.

“May the force be with you...” The conversation was getting more typical, which relieved Kev greatly.

“And also with you,” Kev's Catholic schooling providing that misquoted response.

With that, they set off to the role-play evening, cadging a lift off
Wanger's mum.

Outside Wossisname's mate's house, Monday, 7:48pm

They stood outside the door. Wanger had to almost push Kev up the path to the house. Kev felt more than a little concerned, especially from what Wanger told him about the Floral.

Wanger picked up on Kev's reticence and said, “Look yer mong, it'll be right!”

With that, Wanger knocked on the door. It opened shortly and Wossisname poked his head around the door.

“Hi, come in, just getting set up.”

They were shown to the back room. There was a table with various bits of paper, pens and opened tins of beer on it. There were two rocker / biker types sat already at the table.

“Hi, this is Grammy and Wanger.” Said Wossisname, “You met Chunder at the Floral and this is Lozzock.”

The one known as 'Chunder' was a large guy, six foot of biker, jeans, black tee shirt, leather jacket with denim jacket sans sleeves covered in patches and various other ornamentation. He had a beard and a huge grin, “Hi, grab a seat and a beer,” he said.

'Lozzock' was a thin, wiry bloke, just shy of six foot and sported a 'Piston broke' tee shirt. “Welcome to the game, dudes..”

Kev and Wanger sat round the table. “Cheers,” said Wanger, throwing off his jacket and grabbing a beer.

“So,” inquired Kev, how did you two get your handles?”

“Well..” said Lozzock, “Chunder here got his because of his prodigious spewing after the Floral a few years ago. You know Wossisname of course, some bloody foreign name with an excessive number of consonants his parents lumbered him with, that no bugger can say.”

“And you?” asked Wanger.

“He just lozzocks about all day and does now’t,” grinned Wossisname. “Anyway, got just the game for tonight...”

He rummaged through the papers on the table, producing a thin booklet, proudly placing it on the table in front of him. There was much smirking going on round the table.

“Oh, for fucks sake!” said Kev. “You lot are a right set of twats!”

On the front of the booklet, written in big letters were the words “Macho Women With Guns.” (FYI – this game actually does exist).

To be continued.......

“An easy way for the blind to go,
A Clever path for the fool who knows,
The secret of the Hanged Man, the smile on his lips.”

Many thanks go out to Angharad, Kristina and Sammi for pointing out the errors and the excellent proofreading job. You are all stars.

May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours

And many thanks for all the encouraging comments – Jay.

He rummaged through the papers on the table, producing a thin booklet, proudly placing it on the table in front of him. There was much smirking going on round the table.   The Floral Tales Part 9 By J Morose

---

Introduction

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their under age exploits when attending the local rock club.

The roleplay group convenes for the first time. With mates like that...

From part 8...

“Anyway, got just the game for tonight...”

He rummaged through the papers on the table, producing a thin booklet, proudly placing it on the table in front of him. There was much smirking going on round the table.

“Oh, for fucks sake!” said Kev. “You lot are a right set of twats!”

On the front of the booklet, written in big letters were the words 'Macho Women With Guns.'

Lozzock's House – Monday 8:14pm

“Whatsup with 'im?” Wossisname inquired of Wanger, startled by the sudden outburst.

“Dunno?”

“Fer fucks sake!” Exclaimed Kev once more. “You lot are taking the piss...”

Lozzock, lost in thought said quietly, “We thought after the Floral, you would be up for a bit of a laugh.”

“Huh?”

“Well, we know from Stu that you guys used to roleplay and we got this game and never got round to playing it and we thought like, as you were such a good laugh at the Floral that it might be an idea to try it. Like.”

“Sounds good to me..” interjected Wanger, “c'mon, let's give it a go..”

Wossisname handed Kev a tin of Newcastle's finest. “Here, freshly dredged from the Tyne.” He passed over the can and added “Don't be so grim.”

Kev took the can, opened it and reminded himself why he was none too keen on Newcastle Brown Ale. Feeling somewhat foolish, he lightened up a touch.

“Okay, I'll play, but no more bloody mention of the last Floral, sick of being pestered about it.”

“Okay.” They said.

“Let's begin..” Lozzock took up the booklet and started reading the introductory passages from the game, some post Reagan Apocalypse nonsense that resulted in females being dominant. Kev was not paying as much attention to the blurb as he was to his now drained can.

“Okay, characters..” Said Lozzock, passing out various photocopied sheets around. “Come up with some sort of name and then we'll roll for the character stuff.”

Kev looked at the sheet and grabbing a biro, scribbled the name 'Kay' on the sheet.

Then ensued a half hours vigorous discussion about attributes and equipment. Apparently, the skills 'run in high heels', 'hit things with other things' and 'do technical stuff' were the most sought after. The subject turned to attire.

“So, Grammy”, put in Lozzock, “You're the expert on clothing, what do you think?”

“Where the shite did that come from?” Kev was not amused at the general turn of conversation and it showed on his face.

“Well, you do the girlyboy thing on nights out...”

“Yup,” said Wossisname, “Reet well too!”

“Look, I'm not a bloody tranny!”

“Could have fooled us, eh lads!” Said Lozzock,

“Yeah, but you were that bladdered that you almost asked him to dance...” Wossisname was getting more boisterous.

“Yeah, but no but... Oh bugger off man!” Lozzock was turning maroon.

“I haven't revised my previous opinion, you lot are still a right set of twats!” Kev was incensed.

“Resist the urge..” Wanger put his hand on Kev's shoulder. “Do not turn to the dark side.”

“Don't you mean the pink side of the force...” Wossisname was in full flow now.

“Bugger off!” Kev got up and got his coat. He was taking extreme umbrage at the turn of the conversation.

“I'm off,” he stomped out of the room and made for the front door. The beer he had before did not do much for his demeanour.

Wanger got up and grabing his coat, pursued his friend. “Seeya later, just got to sort out young Miss Skywalker here.”

Outside Lozzock's house – Monday, 9:40pm

“Twats! They are all a set of twats!” Kev was mumbling to himself. He saw Wanger leave and come over to him.

“Hey, calm down, man!” Wanger looked concerned, “the lads are only playing about.”

“Why me?” Kev was sullen and it showed on his face, which at the moment could sour milk at a1000 paces with a glance. “What have I done?”

“Well, could have summat to do with the last Floral, maybe..”

“Shite! Gonna tell Anya I'm not doing it again! Her and her bloody ideas!”

“You can do that tomorrow man.” Wanger gestured in the general direction of Wossisname's house. “C'mon, lets go in eh.”

The convincing went on for a few more minutes, with Wanger letting Kev vent off his frustration. In the end, Kev was still sulking but moodily trudged his way back into Wossisname's house.

Peering round the door to the back room, Kev was trying to observe the mood of the others.

Lozzock's Back room, Monday 10:04pm

The lads were discussing characters still and appeared to have calmed down a bit. Kev went in.

“The wanderer returns..” Said Lozzock, somewhat cheerfully. “Grammy, just settled on me character, wanna look?”

Kev took the proffered character sheet and examined the character of 'Maisie the Eviscerator' carefully. Wanger peered over his shoulder and read it as well.

He eventually responded “Good character. Needs more clothes though.”

“Nah, traded them for skills...” Lozzock took the sheet and sat down. Kev and Wanger also sat and Wossisname handed him another tin of Newky Brown.

“Sup up feller...” Kev took the beer and popping open the can single handedly, took a long big gulp.

Kev looked up at wossisname a bit sheepishly. “Sorry, man, things just getting me down a bit at the mo.”

“Granted,” he said, an evil grin developing on his face, “but we reserve the right to point and laugh.”

Kev, taking another gulp of beer replied, “I suppose I better get on with me sheet.”

Kev and Wanger went back to studying their sheets and the character generation rules. During this, Wossisname announced the completion of 'Abacination Willow'. This went on for some time, the lads drawing heavily on the contents of the fridge for inspiration.

Somewhat later and slightly inebriated, the characters had been refined. Lozzock glanced at the clock. “We all done then?”

There was general agreement. Wossisname stood up. “Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of gaming!” He boldly announced. Glancing at his watch he said, “Righto, got work in the morning. Same time next week lads?”

“Yup.”

They agreed to reconvene next week to actually start the gaming. A further agreement was made for everyone to chip in a few quid for the beer kitty.

Kev and Wanger hurried out, hoping to make the last bus home.

On the bus – Monday, 11:20pm

Kev and Wanger were both slightly wobbly. They sprawled out taking up the entire back seat of the mostly empty bus.

“So, man, you all sorted now?”

Kev's reply took a bit of time, mostly because he was not very well equipped at the moment to sort out his thoughts. “S'pose so. You know, you do really well on your exams, no bugger mentions it much, but wear a bloody dress just once...” He drifted off into incoherence at that point.

“Don't worry about it, man.”

“Bloody dress....” kev was rambling now.

Wanger handed him a mint out of his pocket. “C'mon man, powerup.”

Kev took it and popping it into his mouth mumbled, “Bloody wimmin.”

The rest of the 40 minute journey continued in the same vein, Kev feeling sorry for himself, so Wanger decided to let him get on with it.

“S'our stop. C'mon, man.” Wanger stood up, rang the bell and helped Kev out of his seat. The bus, lurching to a stop caused Kev some minor stability problems and he had to grab the seats on both sides of the bus in order to walk the short distance to the door, especially under the disapproving gaze of the bus driver.

Eventually, standing on the pavement, they said their farewells and Kev slouched home.

Kev's house – Tuesday, 6:45am

The first signs of life from Kev's bed were preceded slightly by the shrill screeching of the alarm clock. Reaching out a flailing arm, Kev grunted, bashing the bedside cabinet repeatedly, eventually finding the alarm and pounding on it until the infernal racket was silenced.

“Bollocks!” Kev was not very profound in the mornings. It was Tuesday and as it was a day off from college, he had to work for his Dad, which meant a 7:30 start.

Stumbling out of bed, he threw on the nearest clothes he could find after giving them the sniff test to determine their cleanth.# Covered in the usual, he made his way downstairs to get himself fed and watered

He met his dad in the kitchen, who was tucking into the obligatory bacon sarnie. “Morning Dad.”

“Morning!” His dad was always enthusiastic in the morning, something Kev most definitely was not. “What did you get up to last night? You just came in and went straight up.”

“Gaming with the lads.” was his curt response.

“Fair enough, have a butty.”

Kev took the proffered sandwich and started to eat while grabbing a can of Coke from the fridge and taking in the much needed caffeine goodness.

“So, no more girls clothes last night eh?”

“Mmmnggggghhhh.” Kev swallowed the mouthful and repeated, “No way!”

“Well, that's good then, me and your mother are worried about you, you know”

“Could have fooled me.”

“Well, we are.” His dad put down his butty and looked Kev squarely in the face. “We're just worried you might turn into one of them gender bending wotsits.“

Kev looked away, his face reddening. “Nope, never doing it again dad.”

“Well, that's good.” Stuffing another butty in his mouth his dad said “Hurry up, we've got work soon.”

Work – Tuesday, 10:03am

It was baggin* time and Kev had just sat down next to his dad. They were currently installing the wiring first fix in a new build house in the posh end of Southport. The shell of the building was up but there were no floors in yet, which made installing electrics and plumbing much easier. There was a joiner working there as well, and they sat astride the joists for the first of their breaks. Eric, the joiner always made Kev a bit nervy, as he always had something to say on anything. He was like the Roman Agent in the Asterix books, whom could join a conversation and within 3 minutes walked away leaving people at each others throats. Kev did not start conversations with Eric.

“So, you went out Saturday night then?”

'Oh shite!' thought Kev, 'It's started'. “Yup.”

“Hear you got really pissed then. You recovered?”

“He was well out of it Sunday.” His dad had joined in.

Kev was nervous, Eric had a way of getting people to reveal all sorts of information.

“So, you went with your girlfriend then?”

“Yup.”

“Owt interesting happen?”

Kev looked away. “Nope, just had a few beers though.”

“It was more than a few son, you were out of it Sunday too.”

Kev was now sincerely praying that his dad would not reveal much more. “So, what was the occasion?”

Kev decided to reveal the theme of the night in order to divert the conversation away from any further prying. “Was theme night, Doctors and Nurses.”

Eric thought on for a minute. “So, you went in a dress then?”

“H...How the s...s...shite did you arrive at that?” Stuttered Kev, going beetroot.

“Well,” said Eric, “Seen your lot out on the town often enough. So did you wear a dress or what?”

“Huh?” was about all Kev could say.

“Following the footsteps of a ritual dance,

You are entranced, spellbound”.

Many thanks to Angharad for the proofreading. You are a star.

Apologies for the delay, had issues. Have a good one - Jay

* Baggin - Lancashire word for breaks taken usually around 10am and 3pm. I suppose it is from when taking lunch to work, you would 'get your bag in' to wherever everyone gathered to take their break. Interestingly, it is also the family name of J.R.R. Tolkien's main hobbit character who was obsessed with food. Hmmm...

[edit] # Cleanth - The opposite of filth. You can get covered in cleanth if you take a bath.

---

To be continued.......

Eric thought on for a minute. “So, you went in a dress then?”   The Floral Tales Part 10 By J Morose

---

Introduction

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their under age exploits when attending the local rock club.

Work presents a whole new set of problems.....

Part 10 – Torment

From part 9...

Eric thought on for a minute. “So, you went in a dress then?”

“H...How the s...s...shite did you arrive at that?” Stuttered Kev, going beetroot.

“Well,” said Eric, “Seen your lot out on the town often enough. So did you wear a dress or what?”

“Huh?” That was about all Kev could say.

Work, Tuesday, 10:10am

Eric the joiner was in full flow now. A big surly grin spread across his stubble ridden face. “Aha! You did, didn't you!” He looked like the cat that had not only got the cream, but had found an unlimited supply of it.

“Huh?” Kev had reverted to neanderthal teenager mode once more.

“So,” Eric continued, “You went out on a Saturday night in a dress then?”

Kev's dad was doing his best to not intervene at this point. He had already decided that this was one of those 'life lessons' that Kev had to learn the hard way. He kept his head down and nursed his mug of tea.

Kev was still in speech deficient mode. “Err....huh?” The beetroot expression gave the game away somewhat.

“So I was right then!”

'Bollocks!' thought Kev. 'Never hear the bloody end of this now.'

“So Kev, you're gay then?”

“Huh! No!” Blunt and to the point.

“Look, wimmin wear dresses to attract blokes. You were wearing a dress, therefore you want to attract blokes, therefore you are gay!” Eric was in full wind up mode now.

“Huh? Shite!”

“Not shite, sunshine. You’re gay, aren't you?”

“No!”

“Yes! You like fellers, that’s why you went out on the town wearing a dress...”

“No, not gay, gotta girl.”

“Ahh, all the gay blokes in hiding have female friends to disguise what they are...”

Kev was mortified and considered Eric an idiot, one who unfortunately, he had to work with for the next week or so. “Bollocks!”

“Look, don't argue with me, you big girl’s blouse. You’re gay!”

“Sod off!” Kev was getting sick of this line of questioning now.

“Bet you don't really have a girlfriend and either you have got a girl or you’re gay!”

Kev's dad decided to intervene at this point, feeling slightly protective of his son's plight. “Leave off, Eric. I'll tell you that he has got a girl.”

“Ahh, so bisexual then, like girls and boys do you?”

Kev stood up. “Look, just sod off will you!”. His hands clenched in fists by his side.

Eric started laughing, loudly. “Got another one!”, he proudly proclaimed. Satisfied that he had another wind up under his belt, he resumed his baggin.

Kev decided to remove himself from the company of Eric and went back to work, Eric's laughing echoing throughout the empty carcass of a building.

Work – Tuesday, 12:10pm

Kev had avoided further teasing from Eric by the simple measure of confining himself to the roof space, working on pulling cables for the upstairs lighting and television aerial. There was no joinery to be done up there and it was out of the way, so he could continue working in peace and actually got quite a lot done.

“Kevin!” He looked around and saw his dad's head poking up the loft hole. “Lunch!”

“Right, just finishing this clipping. Be right down!”

Kev hammered furiously on the cable clips and in very short order was done.

He went down to the space that had been set aside for baggin and was relieved to find Eric absent. “What's for lunch, dad?” He asked.

“Chippy, wanna go?”

Kev thought on. The chip shop was only round the corner. “Sure. Got cash?”

His dad handed over a fiver. “Sausage dinner. Go ask Eric if he wants owt.”

“Daaaaad!” He was hoping to avoid his nemesis, but there was no way out. Building site protocol dictated that the apprentice had to go and fetch lunch. It was one of those unwritten rules.

“See you in a bit!” His dad waved his hand, dismissing him to his peril.

Kev looked around sheepishly for Eric. He heard hammering and followed the sound to it's origin, which was to the rear of the property, where Eric was assembling a door casing. Eric saw Kev's approach.

“What's up, gayboy!”

“Bugger off!” Kkev was well and truly sick of this now. “Goin' to the chippy. Want owt?”

Eric thought on for a moment. “Sausage dinner.” His smile grew. “What do you recommend? One large or two small?”

“Bugger off!”

“Well, you're the expert. Thought we'd established that earlier.”

“Look, what do you bloody want! Make up your sodding mind or get yer own!”

Eric, not used to being stood up to by an apprentice was a bit taken aback. “Just get me bloody dinner, gayboy!” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple of coins. “And make sure me change is right!”

Kev took the coins and scarpered, cat-like, running across the joists and out the front door. His expression varied continuously from angry to sulking.

Reaching the purveyor of greasy goodness, he entered and joined the queue. The smells of frying fish and potatoes permeated the air, hanging like a miasma at ceiling height. The heat and humidity was not refreshing. Kev looked at the menu board, once printed, but with letters pulled off and replaced with permanent marker. His thoughts turned to the events of the last weekend. He was not a happy recipient of people’s universal ribbing. He stood surly, pondering his own situation.

In very short order he was asked for his order. He ordered three sausage dinners, unsure of what to eat himself and imagination being in very short supply.

“Two small or one large?” The girl behind the counter asked.

'Bugger, the same question again! A bloody conspiracy!' His paranoid thoughts rambled for a moment. “What do you prefer?” He said, repeating Eric's question, for lack of an imagination.

“Well,” she said, looking all coy, “One big one's all right, but two small ones will be more fun!”

“OK, two small ones then!” Kev was getting a little fed up with this.

“That'll be five ten please.”

Kev handed over his money and muttering, “thanks!” fled the shop, with the steaming goodness in a carrier bag. He sulkily returned to work, bag in his hand, grim in his head, trudging moodily with his eyes fixed firmly on the bit of pavement a foot or so in front of his feet.

Eventually returning, Kev handed out the food and sorted out the change. Deciding he had had enough teasing though, he went and sat elsewhere for his lunch, leaving his dad and Eric to it.

Kev's house – Tuesday 18:45pm

Fresh from finishing work, Kev and his parents were sat round the dining table having tea. Today's delight was curried whatever, as was usual on Tuesdays, consisting of the leftovers from the Sunday roast, being insufficient in their own right to make a meal, Which were curried with anything else from the fridge. It was not too bad this time and Kev was spooning in the food as though it was going out of fashion (eating that is).

“Kevin, me and your dad were talking before....”

'Here it comes!'. Kev was always a bit dubious when his mother started a conversation off this way. “yes Mum?”

“Well, I heard about Eric from your dad. Do you understand now why we didn't want you dressing like that?”

Kev understood completely. Being the social inept that he was, he hated standing out from his peers, mainly due to his inability to gracefully respond to off the cuff comments. “Yes Mum. I know what you're saying..”

“Well, if you don't like the comments, don't do it anymore.” This was a completely different approach from his esteemed parent, whose usual approach to anything is to forbid it outright. Saying that, Kev had been forbidden to grow his hair long, which it now was; forbidden to get his ear pierced, which it now was courtesy of a grindstone sharpened stud, inebriation and equally sozzled companions; and forbidden to have a girl alone with him in his room, which was not a problem until he met Anya and now he just goes to her house instead. It should have occurred to his mother that forbidding teenagers things only encourages them to try them to see what they are missing.

“Ok, mum, don't worry about it.”

His mother looked at him, the concern apparent on her face. His dad then said, “It's a mother’s place to worry, Kevin.”

“You were such a sweet little boy Kevin, I just don't like seeing you make a fool of yourself..”

Kev thought on, noting as he invariably did, that it was not what she said the other day. Concern was then more for appearances and upholding some hitherto undisclosed moral yardstick. Something had changed and Kev was at a complete loss as to what it was.

Anya's House – Tuesday 19:14pm

Anya was sat in her room together with Freya. The sounds of The Mission permeated the air almost as much as the fumes from the sandalwood incense sticks burning merrily away in the corner.

“So Freya, what do you think we should do about Kev?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you know, about the dressing up.”

“Anya,” Freya was looking most serious, “I had a call from Tony before, he says that Kev is really peed off with the ongoing comments about his clothes from the last Floral. I think you should leave it alone for a bit.”

Anya did not want to hear this. She was the sort of person that threw herself into something wholeheartedly, never one to shirk a challenge. She went over to her wardrobe and fished out the now clean nurses uniform that Kev had worn over the weekend. Sitting back down, she had a wistful expression on her face.

“Anya, are you listening?” Freya was getting somewhat animated. “Anya?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Look, we are gonna have to sort this out, otherwise Kev'll have had enough..”

Anya briefly scowled. “Frey, look, I know Kev and this is what he is, what he wants..”

“Why, did he say so?”

“I just know...”

“How do you figure that?”

“Well, “ Anya looked at Freya intently and spoke softly, “I just know”

was getting increasingly vocal. “Huh?”

“Well, I know what I know...”

“Well, on your head be it!”

Kev's house – Tuesday 20:12pm

“Kevin! Phone!”

“Coming...”

Kev charged down the stairs. Grasping the handset from his mother's hands, he bellowed into the phone. “Hiya!”

“Hi Kev, hows things?” It was Anya.

“Fair to middling. You?”

“Fine. Listen, was wondering if you wanted to pop round tonight?”

Kev thought on this but not for long. “Yeah, will do.”

“Cool – seeya in a bit.”

“Seeya.” Kev put down the phone. He wondered what Anya wanted, she sounded somewhat excited, well, more giddy really.

Kev went back upstairs, donned his customary boots and jacket, charged downstairs and rushing through the kitchen, simultaneously grabbed his lid and bade his mother goodbye. Slamming the back door in the process, he left and was on his bike in moments, the whole process taking just over a minute.

Anya's house – Tuesday 20:34

“Anya! Door!”

Anya heard the shout and rushed to the door with a smile on her face. “Hi Kev, come in!”

She rushed up to him and gave him a massive hug. “Come on up!”

Grabbing his hand, she damn near pulled him upstairs.

To be continued.......

“She came to me with a serpent's kiss,

The eye of the sun rose on her lips,

Moonlight catches silver tears I'd cried.”

Many thanks once again to Angharad for the excellent proofing.

Many thanks for reading. Take care and be happy - Jay