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Part 1
 
 
It was the second worst day of my life. The first being when I, a ten year old, Casidhe O'Connor and my parents were exiting the American Embassy in London after replacing our stolen passports. That wasn't the bad part. It was the suicide bomber that chose that moment to explode himself close enough to my parents to make identification a distinct improbability. Luckily, depending on who you talk to, I was trailing far enough behind them to be thrown clear of the majority of the blast, suffering only non-life-threatening wounds.

Don't you love that specific choice of words? Non-life-threatening.

I was sent to live with my only surviving relative in existence, my grandfather. Don't get me wrong. Gramps is a great guy, for being seventy-two years old. Yeah, Dad was born when Gramps was in his late forties and I wasn't born until much much later. So, basically we had nothing in common. He raised me for the following five years under his often quoted credo, don't raise a child, raise an adult.

This basically meant, once I was healed of my injuries, that I did everything. I learned how to shop for groceries, cook the meals, balance the checkbook, arrange for repair services when something broke, pay bills. You get the idea. I had adulthood thrust upon me at eleven years of age. What was his reasoning, you may ask? Well, Gramps was seventy-two years old and I had no other relatives, remember?

Ever since I moved in with him he planned for his eventual death and my following emancipation, just in case. He wouldn't have me living in foster care being raised by people that had no clue about the family, as small as it was.

He went so far as to put all of his assets into both of our names to reduce the amount of probate that I'd have to go through. Have you ever wondered what it's like to be fifteen years old and actually have access to millions? Yeah.

Gramps was a doctor. Well, not a practicing doctor. His hands had been too shaky for the last ten years. You really can't be a neurosurgeon with shaky hands. Well, I guess you can be, but you really can't be a successful neurosurgeon with shaky hands. They tend to frown upon that.

That led me to today. Gramps' funeral. In case you're wondering, it was a burst aneurism in his head. One moment he was bending over, picking up a fork he had dropped in the kitchen while he was frying chicken for our lunch. The next, he was dead. It was that quick. I was chopping up lettuce for the salad when I heard him say his last word, "Casidhe…" That was it. Plop, dead Gramps.

The chicken got burned.

All of his friends and business colleagues were there, at the funeral home. Gramps was in his Charcoal Grey, two button, Men's Warehouse suit. His wedding ring was still on his finger, even ten years after Grandma died. Maybe his hands had swollen up so much that he wasn't able to take it off. Maybe he just loved her so much that he thought it disrespectful.

It's really weird what you think about when the last person in the world that loved you was dead. I couldn't stop thinking about the damn ring. I mean, is there some sort of protocol for this type of thing? He wasn't married anymore, so why keep wearing it? Was he just hanging on to memories?

I learned five years ago not to hang on to memories. Gramps had gone to my parents house, had my room packed and told me I could keep two boxes of anything else I wanted in the house. Everything else would be sold at an estate sale. "The past is the past, Casidhe. Leave it there and move on."

What kind of shit is that to tell a ten year old when he watched his parents die fifteen feet in front of him? Two boxes.

I kept a hand full of pictures, Mom's jewelry, Dad's pistol, the fireproof box that was found under their bed, various knickknacks, a couple of books, and the family computer. That's it. I remember being numb for a month after.

Gramps had me go down to the bank with him and open up a checking and savings account with the cashier's check from the sale of the house and its contents. We split some of it up into various stocks. It was supposed to teach me the value of money and how to support myself.

Ten years old.

Since Gramps was retired, and apparently had absolutely nothing to do other than torture me, he decided I was to be home-schooled. He's smart, I'll give him that. He went out and bought all the materials and never let me slack off in the slightest. It was his opinion that we needed to devote ourselves to a goal and eventually we would get past our grieving easier. He told me that my goal was to study.

He pushed me, from morning to night, with books, tests, on the spot quizzes wherever we were. He taught me practical things, life lessons. We traveled and learned about the actual way things happened. For Politics, we went to Washington D.C. and stayed there for a few months until I understood how and why things worked. For History, we went to Gettysburg, Pearl Harbor, Liberty Island, Philadelphia and the like. For Biology we went to the CDC, Johns Hopkins. You get the idea. We never stayed anywhere for more than a few months. That is until Gramps was in too much pain caused by rheumatoid arthritis to sleep in anything other than his own bed.

I still did my lessons, but it was mostly through text books and so forth.

Then he died.

Right, back to the funeral. Since I was the only family, I sat alone in the front pew in my slacks, white dress shirt, and tie as I watched people that I barely knew pay their respects, which amounted to walking up to Gramps, looking at him and walking away. Some people that knew him stopped and shook my hand, passing out weak platitudes and offers of help, if I needed it.

Our lawyer, or should I say, my lawyer, Sam Sebastian, even took time out to sit beside me.

"How you holding up, Casidhe?"

I reached up and loosened my tie. "Fine."

He shuffled a little bit, with obvious discomfort. "If you have the time, later this week, I want you to come by the office so we can finalize the paperwork."

Closing my eyes, I sighed. "Can we do it now?"

"I didn't bring it with me, Cas."

I shook my head. "No, I mean can we leave now and go do this thing?"

Turning my head, I caught sight of his jaw loosening and his eyebrows raising a little. "You don't want to go to the burial?"

I shook my head. "No, Gramps' advice was, the past is the past." Standing up, I put my hands in my pockets. "Besides, I don't have my driver's license yet, so this will save me cab fair."

Cold bitch, ain't I?

~O~

We wove our way out to the parking lot and hopped into his Mercedes. I only had to shake another five hands on the way out. The offers of help were ignored. After all, Gramps taught me to be self-sufficient. I didn't need anyone anymore.

"The will is pretty straight forward." Sam explained. "Almost everything was in both your names so you have access to all monies, and stock. The house is yours, as well as the cars." He walked around to the large bookshelf and did something which made two stacks shift to the side revealing a large flatscreen and an entertainment center. "Your Grandfather made this video for you."

I looked up at Sam and felt a knot in my throat tighten and my eyes burn. "Wha…?"

Sam nodded. "About every three months or so he'd send me an updated disc. It's supposed to be a private message to you. Nothing legal, so I've never seen it." He dropped the disc in the DVD player and walked over to hand me the remote. "My instructions are to leave you in private."

A sad, pitying look overcame his face. "I'll be in the library next door getting everything ready for you." He casually pointed to a door on the opposite wall. "Just come on in when you are through. The disc is yours. Just hit eject, and the case is on top of the player."

I waited until I heard the click of the door closing until I hit play.

There were no FBI warnings or menus, just the start of the recording. Gramps was in his office, seated behind his desk. He had a snifter of Brandy beside him and a remote in one hand, which he set down. After taking a quick sip of his Brandy he smiled at the camera.

"Casidhe, the time's come, eh." He set the snifter aside and crossed his hands. "I'm sorry that we didn't have more time together. I had so much more to teach you." He looked down and then back up. "But that's pretty much all we did, right?"

I leaned forward in the chair and ran a hand quickly across my face.

"I'm also sorry I wasn't a better grandpa to you. I was so worried that I was going to go sooner than I was ready, that I never really had a chance to be what you needed." He paused for a moment. "But that's in the past, right? For now you have to look toward the future. You know where everything is. I've held nothing back from you. You'll be well provided for. So the only thing I have left to tell is strictly on a personal level."

He slid his hand underneath the snifter and swirled the brandy around a couple of times before taking another sip.

"I want to make a suggestion. You are, of course, free to ignore me. It is your life and your decision. My suggestion is this. Go sign yourself up in high school."

I almost laughed, in fact a snort escaped my mouth before he continued.

"I know you are intelligent enough to pass your High School Equivalency. That's not the point."

After taking another sip he looked back at the camera. "I've monopolized your time, Casidhe. You've had virtually no contact with children your own age since your parents were killed, and that's my fault. I wanted you close to me so that I could protect you and teach you everything I know so you could keep yourself safe after I was gone."

I tried, unsuccessfully, to swallow that lump away in my throat.

"You need friends, Casidhe. You need to have fun. Maybe a girlfriend, or whatever." At this point his face crinkled in a rarely seen smile. "I know you have secrets. No need in denying it. We all have secrets. I just want to thank you for keeping yours to yourself and behind closed doors away from this old conservative fart. But now it's the time to maybe see what there is to see, if you know what I mean."

Yep, my jaw dropped. I stopped breathing for a few seconds thinking quickly on what he said.

"I love you Casidhe. Never doubt that for a second. Ever. I have been and will be proud of you no matter what you choose to do with your life."

Gramps leaned back in his chair, with a somewhat dreamy look on his face. He swallowed the last of the Brandy and set the snifter aside.

"Sam has a couple of things to give you that might help you along your way. You can trust him." He laughed to himself. "As long as he gets paid. I've left him with a sizable retainer to make sure you don't have any trouble, whatever the reason. So go to him with any legal problems you might have. The rest of what you might want to know is in the package he has."

He leaned forward and his face turned serious. "I have to go now. No need dwelling around here listening to me ramble on. Go to school, Casidhe. You'll hate it, but you'll love it more, and be true to yourself in all things."

I watched as he picked up the remote and looked at the camera one last time, leaving me with a playful wink.

~O~

Secrets, yeah.

~O~

The paperwork was filed and I stood in front of a judge with Sam beside me as we argued for my emancipation three months before it was actually legal to do so. Sam was good. I was free. I was declared an adult for matters of finance, education, and care. I still couldn't legally drink or go to porno shops, but I never really had an inclination for either.

What I was able to do was register for the latter half of my sophomore year in High School, all by my lonesome.

Yeah, I took Gramps' advice. He was always right anyway. Why try to fight it?

See, the thing about school? I basically could do it the way I wanted. I tested out and could have been placed in the senior class, but I wasn't going to school for educational reasons.

I had to play by their rules, yes. I mean I couldn't just go in there and sit a class then get up and walk out whenever I wanted. I was able to take a the general core classes, skip Gym class in favor of study hall, and work on whatever I wanted.

This left me with many options.

School started January 7th , only two weeks away and I was going to make sure that I got the most out of this new experience.
 
 
Part 2
 
 
A loud two-tone sounded throughout the school when I opened the front door and entered Hildegarde Desmond Senior High School. The few students I noticed in the hallway rushed to be a few seconds tardy to their first class of the new semester while I proceeded a few paces to the school offices across the way.

"May I help you?"

I nodded to the blonde thirty-something lady behind the counter. "I'm Casidhe O'Connor. This is my first day and I need to get a printout of my schedule, and maybe someone to point the way to my first class."

The lady gave me a bright smile. "Well, welcome to Desmond High!"

My eyes widened a little at her exuberance. "Um, thanks."

She pulled her keyboard out and clacked away at the keys for a second, then frowned. "I'm not pulling you up. Could you spell out your name?"

I blinked then smiled. "Sorry, it's not the traditional spelling. It's Gaelic." I spelled out my name for her and received a brilliant smile in return.

"Thanks… ah, here we go." After a few more clicks I heard the printer start to warm up. "Let me grab one of the student aides to take you to your first class and I'm sure someone from there would be more than happy to show you around."

I nodded. "Sure, thanks."

She disappeared for a moment and then returned with a girl in tow. "Casidhe this is Lisa. Lisa would you be a dear and show Casidhe to her first class. It's Mr. Walsh in 402."

My face heated up in response to the lady's choice of pronouns. I really hate blushing. Redheads are known for their pale skin and I was no different. When we got out into the hallway I stopped Lisa.

"Uh, sorry, but she was wrong. I'm not a girl."

Lisa looked me up and down and then took a look at my purple backpack. It was weird because she was taller than me, obviously a Junior or a Senior. A wry smile appeared on her lips and then a chuckle escaped.

"Well, Casidhe, you might want to consider cutting your hair a little more like a guy, or at the very least dumping the lavender backpack until puberty kicks in."

My face continued its journey into untold amounts of red. I set the insult of my lack of manliness aside. "It's purple."

That brought forth a louder laugh from her. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to the other side of the hall where a big falcon, obviously their school mascot, was painted on the wall. It was encircled with the school colors, purple and gold. That was the reason I bought the purple backpack, to fit in, be all supportive of the home team and all of that stuff.

"See this? This is purple," she said with a condescending tone. She grabbed my backpack and held it up to the wall next to the falcon. "And this is a much lighter shade. It's called lavender."

My eyes darted back and forth between the colors and then a pathetic groan issued forth. "Crap."

"You would have been better off buying a gold one. Gold is the color the girls buy, and purple is for the guys. Lavender… well that's either for a girl or it means you're gay." She was having far too much fun at my expense. "If you say you're not a girl, well, I guess we know where that puts you."

I grabbed my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. "Can you show me where I'm supposed to go, please?"

We trekked down the hall and up a flight of stairs then down another hall to the back of the school while Lisa drove home the way the school works.

"Each morning you go to homeroom. It's thirty minutes long. That's where they pass out announcements and send you home if you aren't dressed properly, blah, blah, blah. There are maps at the end of every hallway so you can find your rooms. It's easier to ask someone where it is, 'cause the senior boys like to screw around with the maps." She shook her head vacantly. "I have no idea why.

She flung a hand out in direction. "Here's the restroom that's closest to your homeroom."

I looked at the skirted icon on the door. "That's the girls room."

She snickered. I swear. Who snickers?

"Sorry, my mistake."

Great. Well that only took, what, five minutes, and I'm already the brunt of high school humor.

We continued down the hall where she stopped and opened up the door. She indicated for me to wait while she talked to the teacher. I stood there like the new geek while every eye in the room checked me out. Lisa had a few words with Mr. Walsh and he nodded along. The torture of being scanned by everyone built up and I turned my head to the whiteboard on the wall to see… anything.

Lisa broke away and passed me up. "Have a great day."

"Everyone," Mr. Walsh started. "We have a new girl joining us at Desmond for the rest of the year. Her name is Casidhe O'Connor and I want you to make sure you make her welcome."

Dear God, please, someone just shoot me.

Mr. Walsh looked down at my schedule that Lisa had given him. "Does anyone have Ms. Sullivan for English first period?"

A few hands raised and Mr. Walsh picked a girl in the back. "Chloe, would you be so good as to escort Miss O'Connor to her first class after we are though here?"

She nodded. "Sure thing, Mr. Walsh."

She smiled at me and waved me over, pointing to an empty seat to her right. As I passed the teacher's desk he stopped me. "Care to tell a little about yourself, Casidhe? Let us get to know you a little better?"

I've read about this. The age honored ritual embarrassment of the new kid by making him stand in front of a class of people that could really care less about anything he has to say.

"Um, not really."

Mr. Walsh laughed. "Come on, we all do it at the beginning of the school year and it wouldn't be fair to the rest of the class if you didn't participate."

My eyes fluttered in mild exasperation and I could feel my face heating up again. Fine.

"My name is Casidhe, and I've been home schooled for the last five years because my parents were killed by a suicide bomber in England. I've lived with my Gramps since then and he just died last month. So, here I am."

I hate high school so much, right now.

The silence was overwhelming. I heard a pen drop somewhere to my left and stared out into the classroom at the shocked looks, the open mouths, and wide eyes of my fellow students.

"Uh," Mr. Walsh started.

"Why don't I just go sit down, yeah?"

He nodded. I heard a couple of snickers from the side as I walked down the aisle between the various desks and sat down next to Chloe. The students resumed whispering, at a low rumble, while Mr. Walsh fiddled with some papers on his desk. It was obvious he was embarrassed about what he pretty much made me reveal. Good.

That was when I noticed a hand hovering to my left. I tilted my head and saw it was attached to the blonde girl that was going to escort me to English.

"Hi, I'm Chloe."

Hey guys, have you ever gone to shake someone's hand and get a weird grip? Maybe the other person grabbed too quick or you grabbed too quick and you wind up giving a really gay handshake? Yeah, that's me.

She gave me a really big smile. "That was, by far, the coolest thing I have ever seen."

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Well I'm glad my family's deaths have given you a happy today."

She swatted at me. "Oh, don't be stupid. You know that's not what I meant."

I shrugged.

"Maybe he'll stop that stupid getting to know everyone thing now. I swear, nobody cares."

"Exactly!"

She eyed my clothes and my backpack and leaned over to whisper. "Are you a lesbian or something? I mean, it's cool if you are…"

Before I could cut her idiocy off we were interrupted my Mr. Walsh.

"Okay, everyone. Settle down." He walked over to the row of seats closest to the door and started handing out stacks of papers. "Everyone take one and pass it down." As he worked his way across, he explained the handout. "These are your community service forms for the Spring semester. It is, as always, voluntary. But keep in mind that you'll start college admissions at the end of next year and its always good to have some padding with your application. Feel free to pick one or two, and remember that you'll have homework so don't go more than two, especially if you plan on taking on a job when the majority of you turn sixteen."

I ignored the rest. I mean how would you feel if you were introduced as a girl when you were obviously a boy. I was more distracted with how I was going to let everyone know I was a guy without looking like a total dork. And if it's the last thing I do, I was getting even with little Miss Lisa for her stupid prank.

I know I'm short, but there's a perfectly good reason behind that, which I'll get into later. My hair is not that long. It just reaches to my shoulders, the reason being that I have ears that stick out like freaking Dumbo, and I like having them covered up. I just wish that I didn't have the glowing carrot top orange as a particular color. At least I don't have mounds of freckles.

Gramps, being a doctor, was always conscious of having me out in the sun for too long a period of time, and if I had to be outside I was always covered in sunscreen. So, on top of being a human tangerine, I have pale white skin.

By the time I got through with my self-loathing, a single bell tone sounded and we were dismissed. I shoved the handout in my… lavender, backpack. God, I hate this.

"Come on," Chloe said. "Our class is on the other side of the school and I have to stop by my locker."

I slung my backpack over my shoulder and followed her out of the classroom and down the hall. One of her friends sidled up beside her and purposely bumped her into me.

"Tell me you got Dean's number the other night."

Chloe laughed. "Score!"

"Excellent!"

They high-fived each other.

"So who's Ellen over there?"

"Susan, don't be a bitch," she scolded her friend in a teasing manner. "This is Casidhe. She's new."

I swear, if I can't find a way to tell everyone that I'm a guy, with the tiny caveat of not looking like a dork, I'm screwed.

Susan held out her hand and right when I was about to grab it I was bumped slightly by a guy walking the other way. Yes, I wound up giving her limp gay hand.

"Anyway, I have to go. I'm in Biology this period." She took off to the left, down another hallway and turned around. "Nice to meet you, Casidhe. Maybe we can go shopping later."

I gave her a weak wave, as I wasn't really agreeing and we were being eyed by a lot of the guys and girls in the hall. No, changing everyone's misconception of me is not going to be easy.

We spent the next five minutes making our way downstairs and to Chloe's locker.

"Have they assigned you one yet?"

"Hmm?" I said in response, as I was still distracted.

"A locker, do you have a locker yet."

I shook my head no. She frowned.

"Maybe Miss Sullivan will let us out early so we can stop buy the office and get you one." She closed the door and spun the dial. "I know the one on the end down here is free. Steve Thompson was busted by the drug dogs before Christmas and he's not coming back."

I tuned her out and worked on my problem before we reached class. But it wasn't long before we entered the room and more unfamiliar eyes were on me. Chloe linked her arm in mine and dragged me over to the back of the room to the two remaining seats that were next to each other.

And so it went on for two more hours. Chloe and I split up for our next class, History. Two different teachers. But we wound up meeting up for Biology in the same class. Gratefully, lunch was next. I was starved from running around the gigantic school all day.

We did the lunch line thing and I had some sort of meat substance which the lady in the massive white hairnet called chicken fried steak. It was covered in a watery peppered gravy. The mashed potatoes actually looked like mashed potatoes, and I declined the three bean salad. I think I was going to be sick after seeing it. Luckily the school served sodas.

We wolfed our meals down and as we finished dropping off our trays the first bell rang for the next class.

"Damn, I need to go to the girls room."

"I'm sure there's one on the way to class," I joked.

On the way to Trigonometry class we finally made a pit stop. I leaned up against the wall and Chloe gave me a weird look. "You aren't coming in with me?"

"I can wait here."

She shook her head. "Don't be stupid." She hooked her arm in mine and pulled. "I need someone to talk to. "

Is this a female necessity? Can girls not physically urinate without other girls there? I mean what do they do at home if they're alone? Hold it, until their mom comes home, and then maybe they fight over who gets to go first because they both have been holding it for so long? What the hell?

I grit my teeth and entered no man's land. After a quick scan I realized that it was a guys room without urinals. There was still water splashed on the sink counters and paper towels all around the trashcan, on the floor. Apparently girls were just as messy as guys, well without the pee on the floor underneath the urinals. Yes, I know. I gross myself out at times.

Chloe entered a stall and I busied my self at the sink turning the water on and washing my hands, as I didn't have anything else to occupy my time.

"So, you never said. Are you a lesbian or what?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head in disbelief. "No, I'm not a lesbian." I'm not much of anything to tell the truth.

"So, what's up with the boy look?" After a second she continued so I didn't have to. "Oh my God. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. You were raised by your grandpa."

Sounded like a good excuse to me. "Yeah."

The sound of a toilet flushing filled the tile encased room and she was out and to the sink before I knew it. "Sorry, I don't think sometimes."

I shrugged it off. No need in making her feel bad for something she had no control over. "It's no big."

We let it lay as she dried her hands and then we took off to Trig class. About halfway through class when the teacher was scribbling on the white board I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I looked back I saw a folded piece of paper Chloe was passing me.

Maybe we can go shopping after school.

I checked to make sure the teacher was still busy and I turned around. She held a face that was half, I'm sorry, and half, you really look like a lesbian and I'm trying to help out.

I turned back around. Oh what the hell. It's going to come out sooner or later.

I'm a guy. Lisa lied to Mr. Walsh. I'm sorry for not saying something sooner, but I didn't know how without looking like a dork.

I folded the paper back and waited until the coast was clear before passing it back. After a few seconds I heard a sharp intake of breath from behind me.

A couple of minutes passed and I sat there with my face burning in embarrassment. Another tap later and I reached behind to get her response.

Bullshit, Cassidy. If you don't want to go shopping that's fine, but don't lie to me.

I sighed and my shoulders dropped. Spreading out the paper I tried again.

No bullshit. And my name is spelled, Casidhe. I'm not lying. There's a reason I look the way I do. I don't want to go into it in class. I don't want anyone to know, but if you absolutely have to know then I'll tell you after school.

Folding the paper back up I handed it back.

I never got a response. Chloe almost bolted out of the classroom after the bell sounded. I sighed again. Must be a new land speed record of making and losing my only friend in less than a single school day.

~O~

Study Hall and Spanish class were just long enough to make me exceedingly nervous once the final bell rang. I hadn't seen Chloe since Trig. So I hurried down the hall as fast as I could to meet up with her at our lockers.

Yes, the locker on the end was free, and yes, Ms. Sullivan did let us out of English ten minutes early to get it assigned to me. So, there you go.

When I got there it was obvious Chloe hadn't made it by, so I took my time dialing in my combination. When I opened the door a piece of paper fell to the floor.

Meet me by the flag pole.

It was in Chloe's handwriting so, mystery solved there. I grabbed the two textbooks I needed and shut the door. Stuffing them in my backpack I made my way through the crowd of exiting students to the front of the school.

The flagpole was maybe about fifty feet away from the front doors amid a raised brick planter separating the walkway into two paths out to the parking lot. Chloe was seated on the bricks talking on her cell phone. When she saw me she wrapped up with whoever she was talking to and stood.

I really couldn't gauge her mood except to say she looked expectant.

"Hey."

She picked up her gold backpack and nodded toward the parking lot. "I figured you wouldn't want to do this here."

I shook my head in response. "Would you mind if we did this at my house. It'll make it easier to explain."

I saw the doubt on her face. "I don't live that far away and I can drive you home after."

That's when her face lit up in disbelief.

"You can drive!?"

I let a small smirk escape from my lips. "Yeah, I have a hardship license. I can't drive past eight unless it's to work or back… and a couple of other restrictions, but…" I shrugged. "Come on. My car's out there."

We dodged a few Senior guys roughhousing on their way out and made our way through the rows of cars almost to the street when I pulled my keys out of my backpack and unlocked the doors to my sunflower yellow VW Beetle.

"Oh my God, this is so cool." Breathed Chloe as she slipped by me to the passenger side. "How did you get away with this?"

I rolled my eyes. Apparently she wasn't thinking again.

"Dead parents, dead Gramps."

Her hand shot to her mouth and she cringed. "Sorry."

I shrugged and we hopped into the car. After starting my baby up I let the engine warm up while I gave her the start of my semi-planned speech that I worked up in Study Hall.

"We were in England, doing the sights. I was ten."

"Casidhe, we don't have to do this here. I can wait."

Checking to make sure the way was clear, I put the car in gear and pulled out. "It's not a big deal. It was five years ago. I'm over it."

It only took a few minutes to navigate the exodus of teens to the street. "Anyway, Mom kept all of our passports in her purse and it got swiped when we stopped to take a picture in front of Big Ben."

Taking a right at the end of the street I proceeded down the main street of the neighborhood. "We went to the American Embassy to get some temporary visas so we could actually get back to the States.

"I remember standing by the front doors, waiting for my parents to finish. I was reading a tourist posting and they said it was time to go. I wanted to finish the posting. I mean it was about some of the not-so-seen sights to see, yanno?"

Chloe nodded out of the corner of my eye.

"I heard my dad yell for me, and I went to catch up. The front doors to the embassy were open and I had just crossed out when I saw them waiting for me."

Making another turn I accelerated up to the speed limit and then slowed as I turned into the driveway of my house. I clicked the garage door opener and pulled into the center space. After putting the car into park I killed the engine and pulled the keys.

"That was the last thing I remember about them." I took in a sharp breath and let it out. "Mom had an exasperated look on her face and Dad was shaking his head at me for holding them up. Then… they were gone."

I didn't waste any time. Opening my door I alit from the car and wiped my eyes at the same time so Chloe wouldn't see me tearing up. She got out and I closed the garage door while I opened up the connecting door to the house.

It led to the kitchen where I tossed my backpack on the breakfast table and made my way to the fridge. "You want anything to drink. I got pretty much everything."

"Casidhe, I'm sorry."

Chloe sounded truly apologetic. Really. But since I had had more than enough people giving me platitudes over the last month I was already sick of it. So I ignored her.

"Drink?"

She gave me a slightly disappointed smile. "Anything diet is fine."

I looked back in the fridge and pulled out a diet and a regular Coke. Setting the cans aside I grabbed a couple of glasses and filled them with ice, motioned to the island in the middle of the kitchen and the stools. We sat and made busy work by popping the cans and filling our glasses.

I was putting off the next part of the conversation as long as I could and I got up and reached into the fridge for some queso I had made up the previous night. A couple of minutes in the microwave and it was heated up. It went into the center of a serving dish and I surrounded the outside with tortilla chips before setting it on the island for us.

"Wow, thanks. It's all restauranty and stuff."

That made me smile. "Gramps never let me do anything by half. Either do it right or don't do it at all. He used to say that to me. He was full of sayings like that."

She grabbed a chip and dipped it, letting the bulk of the cheese run off, she shoved it in her mouth. Her eyes lit up and a happy grin took over. After swallowing she took a sip of her drink.

"That is so good. What brand is it?"

I shook my head. "Home made."

Her eyes went wide. "You made this?"

I nodded. Then it kicked in. She grabbed her drink again and took two big swallows.

"Oh my God, it's hot!"

That brought out a laugh from me. "Be careful. It's spicy."

She gave me the evil eyes. "Thanks for the warning, bitch."

My smile stayed on, and then I realized that was the first time I had actually laughed in -- forever. Pulling out the chair, I sat down and grabbed a chip full of cheesy goodness for myself. Chloe grabbed a napkin from the caddy and dabbed at her eyes before grabbing another chip.

I gave her a wary eye and she tossed the look aside.

"I didn't say it wasn't good."

Another laugh bubbled up from inside me. Holy crap, two in one day.

She crunched for a second and took another sip from her glass. "So what does this have to do with you looking the way you do?"

Back to the subject at hand, I guess.

"I… I was injured in the explosion."

Confusion filled her face.

Breathing out in resignation I revealed the rest. "The suicide bomber was loaded down with ball bearings, nails, and anything else that would kill anyone within range." After another sip of Coke I set it down. "I got hit in my arm, chest, legs, and other places."

Chloe still didn't have a clue. I rolled my eyes and said in an even tone. "I don't have my testicles anymore."

"Oh."

Wanting desperately to move on I continued. "The doctors were able to take everything out. I've had plastic surgery to remove most of the scars, but they couldn't really do anything about saving those."

"I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "Why, there's nothing you, or anyone, for that matter could have done about it."

"Still."

I shrugged. "It's no big. I'm better off anyway."

At that, her eyebrows raised.

"Never mind."

She saw my discomfort. "Thank you, for telling me, I mean. I know that couldn't have been easy."

I shrugged and took another chip.

"So what are we gonna do about tomorrow?"

"What do you mean?"

She waved her hand at me a little. "Everyone already thinks you're a girl." She shook her head at me. "And there's no way you're going to get out of that one without being pounded."

I paused mid-crunch. "Pounded?"

She nodded. "Football jocks, heck, even other girls won't like that you pulled this off…"

"But Lisa…" I started.

"Doesn't matter. You put it off for too long. Your one and only chance to put it right was in homeroom this morning when it happened." She pushed her chair out and stood. "You went into the girls bathroom with me."

"You dragged me in there!"

"Doesn't matter. You're toast if you go back and say you're a guy."

"I am a guy!"

She ignored me and looked around the kitchen. "When do your guardians show up?"

Letting my ire bleed away a little I explained. "I'm emancipated."

Chloe gave me a questioning look.

"I live by myself."

"No way!"

"Way."

Almost in denial she continued. "How do you support yourself?"

I rolled my eyes once more. "Dead parents, dead Gramps. Lots of insurance money. Well that and Gramps was loaded."

"You're rich?"

I nodded. She walked around the kitchen in thought for a few moments before exiting though the swinging door into the den. I followed to see what she was up too.

"You have a really nice house."

"Thanks, I guess. I really… I mean it's… it was Gramps' house."

She fingered things around the den, books, knickknacks, and other things. "I have an idea that we might be able to pull off." She shrugged to herself. "Well, we can definitely pull it off. The ground works already been laid. It's really just up to you."

Now that got my attention. I'd do almost anything to set things straight. "What do I have to do?"

She turned to me and smiled. "Just be a girl."

I admit it. I stood there in disbelief for a good minute. Do you know how long a minute lasts when two people are staring at each other? Forever.

"No, really."

She held up her hands in a placating gesture. "Hear me out. It wouldn't be that hard. I mean it's not like you're going to go through puberty or anything."

My eyes narrowed. "Thanks."

Waving me off she continued. "That's not how I meant it. Look, everyone already thinks you're a girl. You aren't going to be sprouting hair and growing muscles or anything."

With each little thing she said I turned redder and redder.

"You're short, heck, I'm taller than you are and I'm five-five. You can obviously afford a new wardrobe. Let's go shopping and pick up a few things, try it out here, and if you don’t think we can pull it off then we'll think of something else."

Totally deflated I stood there with my shoulders drooped in defeat. "I could always quit school."

"What?" she said in shock.

"I could pass my G.E.D. tomorrow. I'm only going to school because Gramps wanted me to get to know kids my own age."

"And what, you'll go to some other school?"

I shook my head. "I'll just quit. It's not worth it."

"Are you stupid?"

I gave her a glare. "No, I'm very smart, actually."

"Could of fooled me." She waited a couple of beats. "It sound's like your Gramps was a smart man. You're too young to go to college. You'll run into the same problem there. What are you gonna do, sit around for a few years and play video games or something?"

She pressed on. "This way you can do the High School thing and have some fun. Maybe keep yourself busy, get some friends until you figure out what you want to do. Come on, Casidhe. Just try it out and if you don't think you can pull it off then…"

I turned around before she finished. "Why couldn't we have just stayed home?"

"What?"

I cleared my throat. "My stupid parents. Why couldn't we have just stayed home. Now I can't even be a guy right."

She gave me a moment to compose myself, and then I felt her hand take mine. Her fingers were cool when she laced them with mine. "Come on, Cas. Lets go to the mall."

~O~

Yes, I've been to the mall dozens of times, but I've never really realized exactly how many stores girls had to choose from. Dozens. And that's not including the high end department stores that Chloe informed me were off limits for our purposes. At least for that moment.

"She paused at one of the cross-sections, and looked both ways. "I think we might want to do your hair first, to get you in the right frame of mind."

I resigned myself to follow her lead. Remembering Gramps' words in my head, Either do it right, or don't do it at all. It was my choice. If I looked like a total dork then I'd just drop out. It was that simple, in my mind.

"Lead on."

She gave me a curious smile at my acceptance. Talking my arm and looping it with hers we were off to Visible Changes, the only decent salon in the mall. I've had my hair cut there. No, it's not just a girl's place.

Luckily, according to Chloe, a Style Director was available. Apparently there are a number of different type of stylists. The SD's were the most experienced and supposedly the best at what they do. And yes, you pay for it.

Chloe went along with me to get my hair washed and conditioned then to the chair as I waited in my black smock.

"Hi, girls," a tall brunette said as she walked up from behind. "What are we doing today?"

Chloe almost bounced. "Casidhe, needs a new style. Maybe you can suggest something?"

The stylist looked me over and ran her hands through my hair in different points, lifting the back, frowning at a couple of places, and generally making me think I was a lost cause.

"Well, we've got a couple of options with what I've got to work with. You can go with the pixie look, but with your high forehead I don't think it would be the best."

Chloe shook her head and scrunched up her face.

"Maybe a stacked look, oh, I know, how about an angled stack?"

At that Chloe looked at me and tilted her head. "Yeah, perfect. Her hair is awfully thick. Do you think you could take advantage of the body?"

At this point I was lost. The only time I had heard the word stacked it was in reference to a different portion of a girl's anatomy.

When they finally figured out what I was going to look like, the scissors flew. Well, guys, let me tell you about the Stack.

It's where the front of your hair is split near the middle and the sides are in long sweeping curves, framing the face. Then the bottom is angled about forty-five degrees up through the back exposing the nape of the neck giving a layered, almost stair step, look. Hence the stack.

The stylist had me watch her dry my hair so that I'd know how to style it in the mornings. By the time she was done my hair was about twice as thick as it was before. Kind of shaggy on the sides with a thick angled layer almost falling in front of my right eye.

It was different. I had to admit it looked good. Even with my plain face I already looked a lot like a girl.

She explained that I could part it down the middle, if I wanted, and just poof out the sides a little more if I was in a rush in the morning.

Chloe was grinning from ear to ear by the time we were finished.

"If you want to make an appointment I think a darker shade would fantastic on you." She reached over and took one of her business cards from a holder on the counter. "Just give a call and ask for Sylvia."

I took the card and slipped it in my back pocket. "Thanks."

Chloe couldn't help butting in. "We'll be back, definitely. Thanks, Sylvia!"

~O~

I'm not going to bore you with the rest of the shopping trip. We got the necessities. And three outfits. When we got back to the house, Chloe was in Barbie doll heaven dressing me up. She made her point. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and saw a very cute girl before me.

The make up was light. My eyebrows were thinned and separated, with a tiny arch. I wore a jade green sweater with a bra underneath, padded to give some semblance of a girl well on her way to entering puberty. The jeans I was wearing stretched tight across the front and back, but loosened as they went down ending with matching green ankle socks and tennis shoes.

"Your butt disgusts me."

I turned around and looked at it in the mirror. "What's wrong with it?"

She arched a single eyebrow at me. "It's disgusting that a boy has a nicer butt than I do. I mean look at it, all bubbly and uuuggh."

I shrugged. "You have better breasts than I do, get over it."

Laughter erupted from Chloe before she looked at her watch. "I have to go. It's getting late."

She looked at me one last time and shook her head. "You came out a lot better than I imagined. Wear that to school tomorrow. Get there early and I'll do your make up. It shouldn't take more then fifteen minutes."

"Need a ride?"

She smiled. "Yeah, that'd be great!"

She grabbed her backpack and we headed out. About five streets later Chloe reminded me about a few things.

"Remember to get up a little earlier to do your hair so you won't be late and don't forget to transfer everything in your wallet to the bigger one we bought for you. I'll have a few girly necessities for you tomorrow morning. If we have time I want to go back out tomorrow afternoon and get everything you'll need."

I chuckled a little at her orders.

"And this weekend we go on a shopping spree. Don't make any plans."

I pulled up to the house Chloe indicated and stopped.

"I had a great time today, Casidhe."

I nodded. "Me too."

Chloe grabbed my hand and gave me squeeze and a smile before jumping out and running for the front door. She turned around before going in and waved at me.

I turned back and took a deep breath. Tomorrow was going to be very interesting.

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

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To Be Continued...

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Part 2

I sat in my sunflower yellow VW Beetle and stared at the sunrise as I waited for Chloe's arrival. One thing I had noticed about girl's clothes was that they were thin as hell, providing almost nothing in terms of protection against the elements. Additionally, with the new hairstyle my exposed neck was freezing, and the light, jade green sweater was doing nothing for me.

No wonder girls are always cold.

A sharp rap on the passenger side window made me jump and let out a rather girlish squeak. Chloe was standing there waving a small bag and grinning like a crazy girl. I flipped the automatic door locks and she hopped in the car, shivering violently.

A quick scan of the area produced no known means of transportation.

"Tell me you didn't walk to school." Her face gave that away, easy. "You could have called me." And then I cringed. "That is if I was smart enough to actually give you my cell number."

She didn't bother to say anything. Instead she turned the fan up to high and let warm air blast over the floorboard. Chloe released a contented sigh and opened the bag she had.

"Okay, where's your backpack?"

I reached in the back seat and grabbed the lavender menace that contributed to starting this whole mess in the first place. Chloe took it from me and unzipped one of the small pockets in the front.

"Right, well I've got a few essentials that every girl has to have in their possession at all times." She shrugged. "Or at least things that I have to have."

One at a time she produced something from the bag and dropped it inside. "Powder, mascara, lipstick, eyeliner, right? The basics. You use them to touch up throughout the day. Whenever you go to the restroom check your makeup."

I nodded.

With a return nod she continued. "Two tampons."

At the look on my face she giggled. "I'm not saying, use them, Cas. You just need to have them." With a dramatic flourish she said, "It's all illuuusion." Shrugging again, "Besides, you can have backup if I forget mine."

"I have some perfume for you." She took the cap off the top. "Hold out your wrist."

I did as instructed. And she spritzed, once. "Now rub your wrists together and again on the side of your neck under your ears. One spray is all it takes. You don't want to smell like a stripper."

A floral musk scent filled the inside of the car and Chloe waggled her eyebrows at me. "Nice, huh?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

After applying a light layer of make up, she shoved everything back in the bag and/or my backpack.

"Oh, crap. We never did your nails." She looked a little frustrated. "Well, we'll have something to do this afternoon."

I checked myself out in the mirror. It was much the same as the girl I saw the day before.

"Okay, remember, you are Casidhe O'Connor, the girl. You use the girl's restroom. Whatever you do, make sure you sit down when you pee."

I blinked. "Uh yeah. I guess that would be a sure give away."

Changing the subject in a direct 180 Chloe asked, "Did you chose a community service project yet?"

My eyes bugged. "That's due today? Damn!"

I dug into my backpack for the hand out that Mr. Walsh gave us yesterday.

"Cas, you're a redhead not a blonde. You don't have an excuse for being ditzy. And no matter how cute you look, Walsh isn't going to be happy if you haven't picked anything yet."

With a frustrated grimace glared at my best friend I scanned the choices. "What are you choosing?"

"S.P.C.A.," she said with satisfaction. "They always need help washing and grooming the incoming strays. I like animals."

Nothing on the list was even somewhat appealing until I reached something that I wouldn't need much help with at all. "Oh, I'm picking tutor."

With a raised eyebrow she had to ask. "Exactly how smart are you?"

Stuffing the papers in my backpack I shrugged. "I feel pretty confident on acing my S.A.T.'s right now."

Her eyes widened. "Okay, you've got your first student. I suck in History." After a second's thought she added, "Make sure you put down your email address and not your phone number, unless you want all the pervs in school breathing heavy at you at three o'clock in the morning."

I laughed. "Uh, no thanks. Pervs need not apply."

We both set back in a comfortable silence. I was rather enjoying the scent of the perfume Chloe had chosen when she knocked me out with a question.

"Hey, Cas?"

"Hmm?"

"I know it's a personal question, and you don't have to answer or anything…"

"What's a personal question? You haven't asked anything yet."

She stuck her tongue out at me, and I gave her a toothy grin in reply.

"Do you like guys?"

How exactly does someone defend their masculinity when they are wearing green cotton panties? Hmm?

Chloe saw my discomfort and treaded right on in. "The reason I'm asking is that you seem really okay with what we did yesterday, and right now you look really happy… well not right now. You did before I asked. Now you look like you're going to hurl."

I tossed my head back and groaned.

"Cas, you aren't going to hurl are you?"

Closing my eyes I shook my head. "No." Screwing up my courage I plowed on. "What gets said here never leaves this car, alright?"

She gave me a whatever look. "I think, by this time, that you can trust me. I could have had you pounded yesterday after you told me you were a boy."

Very true.

"Do you know what a crossdresser is?"

Her eyes shifted to my clothes and back up. "It's where a boy dresses up like a girl."

I nodded. "Well I'm kind of a crossdresser, well, ex-crossdresser." I blew out in frustration. "I was, before Gramps died. I threw everything out because I found out he knew all about it. I promised myself I would just be a boy all the time."

Chloe gave me a dull look. "So, you used to look like this all the time?"

Shaking my head, I tried to explain. "I've never gone this far before. I had some undies, and a nightgown, but that was it. I've never even tried make up or real clothes before."

"So you're gay?"

"Ugh."

She leaned back in her seat. "It's not my fault that you aren't explaining yourself good enough."

"Chloe, I don't have a sex drive. I have no balls." I almost snapped. "I mean I'm attracted to girls as much as I can be, but certain guys…"

"Girlie guys?"

I shrugged. "Not exactly. It's more of a look that I like. I mean I'm not all into the he-man, rough, beard wearing, lumberjack type."

"Blech."

"Exactly." I paused. "All's I know is that I know what I like."

"So, you're bisexual."

"Ugh."

~O~

Mr. Walsh approved my project. I was to print out an invitation letter with the subjects that I wanted to tutor along with little tear-off tabs including my email address and post a few on the bulletin board. I was restricted to no more than ten hours a week. Chloe already took two of those with her History problem.

I was allowed to use the classroom computer to do that, so by lunch I was already receiving email inquiries. Thumbing through my Blackberry I made a disgusted noise.

"What?" asked Chloe.

"My email's made the perv rounds, apparently." With a thumb push I announced, "Perv one, blocked."

She laughed with a little snort at the end.

"Perv two, blocked."

"You're kidding."

At the third one I almost dropped the Blackberry. "Oh my god."

"What!" Chloe grabbed at the phone and I let go.

Yes, someone had sent me a picture of their dick.

"Oh… Ewwww!" She covered her mouth in shock. "It's like the rainforest! Look at all of that hair."

I fake-heaved. "Please, I just ate."

She waved the picture in front of me. "Note the sly, one-eyed leer of the South American Pygmy Python in its natural habitat."

At that moment I hated Chloe. I had just finished off the last of my Coke and snorted it out.

"Oh crap!" I grabbed a napkin and wiped. "It burns!"

Chloe literally fell out of her chair.

"Girls, I hope you haven't been drinking on campus."

I jumped at the sound of Mr. Walsh hovering over our lunch table. I made a grab for my Blackberry and shook my head as Chloe calmed herself after regaining her seat.

"Someone sent me some porn mail, sir," I responded.

He held out his hand and I passed the phone over. "I've received a few since I posted my email address as you instructed, sir."

He rolled his eyes after he looked at what was on the display then he handed it back to me. "Do me a favor, Miss O'Connor, and send a copy of that to 'abuse at desmond.net'. We’ve been getting a few over the last year and we want to put a stop to it."

I nodded as I typed the address and hit Send.

"I would highly suggest that this sexting thing not go any further. Delete and block that address. If you send it to any of your friends you could be arrested for distribution of child pornography."

"Oh," I replied. "I never thought of that. You're right."

He grinned impishly. "Teachers are right on occasion, Miss O'Connor."

The warning bell sounded at that moment. Chloe and I grabbed our backpacks and stopped by the girl's room to fix our make up before the next class.

Yes, I sat down to pee.

~O~

A moment of note occurred on my way to Study Hall amidst a bottleneck of students at a door juncture. I got felt up. Yes, someone planted their hand on my butt and gave it a firm, but not uncomfortable squeeze. I whipped around and narrowed my eyes at a bare minimum of four possible suspects. Of course, they were all looking down the hallway, innocent as you please. With a huff I turned back around and made my way to class.

I guess that was the first test passed with flying colors. I was attractive enough to make a sexual advance toward. I'm not counting the email pervs. They don't need an excuse to send nude pics of their Pygmy Anacondas. I'm sure they have online sex, all the time, with other guys acting like girls.

~O~

Once I got to class I pulled out a fresh binder and my Blackberry again. Thumbing through more pervs and deleting them, I found another nasty pic which I forwarded to the address Mr. Walsh gave me.

What is it with testosterone laden guys and pictures of their limp penis'?

The next email was from someone with the screen name of dragoonboy271

I saw your note on the board and I really need help with Algebra II. I have a C-. I need to bring it up to a B average by year end. Think you can help?

I sent him a reply:

After school: Flagpole: Don't be late

Two more promising emails: sk8trrgrrrl893 aka Joanne asking for help in World History (a Junior level course), and the other was steveopete aka Steve wanting aide in English IV (a Senior level course).

I wrote down their information and sent them the same flagpole meet spot for later in the day. Looking satisfied at my folder I closed it and said to myself. "Just one more person and that'll be ten hours for the week."

~O~

Chloe arrived at her locker right when I closed mine.

"Hey girl!"

"Hey Chloe. I've got some applicants to meet at the flagpole then we can take off, okay?"

She nodded as she opened up her locker. "Cool. I have to meet up with Susan and order some Girl Scout cookies. I'll head over when I'm done."

"Oh, cool. Hey, order me two packs of Snickerdoodles."

"Only two?"

I laughed. "I have to watch my figure."

"Whatever!"

With a wave I left her there and met up with the applicants. Yeah, you should have seen the looks I was given when I showed.

"Hey guys, I'm Casidhe."

The tallest and I assumed oldest was Steve. He looked very put out that I was as young as I was. "You can tutor English IV?"

I gave him a smirk. "What are you working on right now in class?"

"Macbeth."

I closed my eyes and pulled up what I remembered from Gramps' teachings.

"William Shakespeare. Macbeth was written sometime between 1603 and 1607 depending on who you talk to. The earliest performance was noted by Simon… um, Simon Foreman at the Globe Theatre. Among the unusual features of the time were the fast-paced first act, which was later adapted by the majority of today's writers in order to 'introduce' character and excitement into a story before the actual plot.

"I always thought the character's, with the exception of Macbeth, himself, rather flat."

Steve looked down at me with the blankest look imaginable. "Whoa."

That brought an eye-roll from me. "Yes, Steve. Whoa."

Joanne held her hand over her mouth, but I could see the wide grin escape from behind. Dragoonboy, a pimply-faced, gangly young teen, looked at me in adoration.

Setting my backpack on the bricks I pulled out my notebook. "I have two hours a week for each of you. When are you available, Steve?"

Shaking himself out of whatever fog he was in, he thought about his afternoons. "I have baseball practice… uh, how about Tuesdays and Thursdays after 4:30."

I nodded. "Make it 5:00 and I can have dinner after."

Flipping a page I wrote down my address and cell phone number then passed it to him.

"If you can't make it then call me. That number is for study purposes only. Don't let it get out, alright?"

He nodded and stuffed it in his jeans. "Cool. Uh, do we do it today or start on Tuesday?"

I shrugged. "We can start studying tonight if you want."

Look at the rest of them I added. "I don't get paid for this. It's for community service. So please don't screw me over."

Steve hitched his backpack and nodded. "Cool. I gotta go."

He trotted off back into the school and I looked over my shoulder to see him doing the same while staring at my butt.

Great, I thought with a resigned sigh.

Joanne openly laughed, for she saw his look as well. "Watch it with him. He prides himself on plucking the underclassmen."

I raised an eyebrow at that. "Plucking? Somehow, I don't think I'm his type."

"Redheads are his type. All shapes and sizes."

"Maybe I should consider a color change?"

I handed Joanne my address and phone number. We set up for a two hour session on Monday's, once a week.

"Dragoonboy?"

The shy teen stood and came over. "Sorry… I'm… my name is… uh, Theodore."

My eyebrows raised at that.

His eyes widened and he seemed like he was about to bust a seam or something, he was twitching so much. "Uh, you can call me Ted."

I scribbled out my address and number then handed it to him. Oh gheeze. Is every boy in this school in dire need of a few hours of masturbation or what? He took the number and stared at it like he was putting it to memory for the rest of his life. I can only guess that it was the first time that it had ever happened.

"So, Ted, when do you want to do it?"

He dropped his backpack and then with a quick look at me and back down at the pack he dropped himself down to pick it up. Unluckily for him, a stitching popped and his pack almost exploded, dropping a number of textbook and folders out.

I almost laughed at his awkwardness, but immediately felt sorry for him. I knelt down and helped him gather up the mess when I saw a sketchbook opened with a really detailed dragon, straight out of fantasy on the first page.

I picked it up and stared at it. The pencil work was outstanding.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ted freeze and stare to the sketchbook. Looking up I gave him my best impressed look. "Ted, this is fantastic work. Did you do this?"

He gulped and nodded.

"Free hand?"

He nodded again, this time much more quickly.

"How long did this take you?"

His eyes rolled up in nervous contemplation, his head lolling to the side. "Uhhh… about an hour or so."

"No way!"

A wide grin expanded over his face exposing a perfect set of gleaming silver braces. I would have flinched at the sun reflected in my eyes, but thought better of it. Poor bastard.

Looking down, I flipped a couple of more pages. Castle, knight, horse, more dragons. This guy was seriously good. Feeling that I had intruded on his hobby I closed the sketchbook up and handed it to him.

"You've got some real talent, Ted."

"Th-thanks."

He stuffed the rest of his books in the pack and stood up, dangling the mess in front of his midsection.

"Right, well, what days are you available?"

He did the eye-roll, bobblehead thing again then stammered out. "Do… do you have timeonweekends?"

Huh?

"Sorry, what?"

"Weekends. I have band practice… I mean practice with my band. I'm not in the band here at school… I mean…"

I held up my hands in surrender. "I get it. You're in a band. The weekend is fine." After thinking about it I added, "Um, this Saturday is bad, but I'm free on Sunday."

At his nod I asked, "Any particular time?"

He was almost shaking and I was starting to get worried that he was about to collapse right there in front of me, so I reached out a hand and clasped him on the upper arm.

"Ted?"

All of the sudden everything stopped for him. He let out almost a cleansing breath and gave me a slight smile. "Is two o'clock okay with you?"

I nodded. "That's cool. We can do a two hour session and then change the time for next weekend if you want?"

"Perfect." He said with a much more relaxed tone.

"Great." I gave him a reassuring squeeze, let go of his arm and went back to my folder to jot down the time.

"Cas!"

Chloe exited the front doors and waved. "I got you four boxes of Snickerdoodles. You'll thank me later."

I gave her a bright grin. "Thanks, Chloe."

She came up and stood next to me looking from Ted to me and then back to Ted.

"Oh, sorry, Chloe, this is Ted. I'm going to be tutoring him this Sunday. Ted, this is my best friend, Chloe."

She bumped me with a hip shot. "I'm your only friend. You're brand new to this school."

Chloe held out her hand and Ted shifted his backpack to the left to shake her hand.

"Uh, I gotta go, my mom's waiting."

"Bye, Ted. See you Sunday."

He gave me his shining silver smile in return. "Bye Casidhe!"

Without running he moved as fast as he could to the parking lot holding his backpack in front of him the entire way.

"You are soooo bad."

"What?"

"I was watching you from the door the whole time. I can't believe you were flirting with him." She broke up into giggles after.

My jaw unhinged. "I… I…"

Her eyes filled with laughing tears as she tried her best to control herself.

"Cas, didn't you notice where he was holding his backpack?"

After a couple seconds of agonizing reflection my face went from pale white to bright red. "Oh — my — God."

"That's why I shook his hand. Just a little conformation of his salute to your flirting."

I turned around and shoved my folder into my backpack. "His pack ripped. I was just helping him."

Chloe cleared her throat. "And you touched him on the arm, becasuuuuse?"

I turned back around. "He was stammering. I thought he was going to pass out!"

"Damn, girl. Look at all the trouble you're getting into!"

My face shut down and I gave her my death glare. "Do you want to walk home?"

A big guffaw shot out of her mouth then she grabbed my arm and pulled me to the parking lot. A blue sedan slowed before we crossed into the parking lot and I could see Ted sitting in the passenger seat pointing at me, but not in a sexual, hormonal, rage or anything. His mom waved at me and rolled down her window.

I stopped and walked over to their car.

"Hi, Casidhe. I'm Mrs. Head, Ted's mom."

Ted Head? Oh, you poor bastard. No wonder he called himself Theodore.

"Hi, Mrs. Head. It's good to meet you."

She smiled back pleasantly, apparently amazed at good manners from a teenager.

"I just wanted to confirm Ted's tutoring session with you. Two o'clock on Sunday?"

I nodded. "That's right."

She nodded. "Ted told me that you aren't being compensated. Is that right?"

"Yeah, it's part of a community service project that the class is working on. I picked tutoring."

Mrs. Head's eyes brightened ever so slightly. "Well that hardly seems fair. How about if Ted takes you out for pizza afterwards. It'll kind of make up for it."

"Mooom."

My former best friend, Chloe decided to butt her head into the conversation. "Cas, that's a great idea."

I froze. How in the hell could I get out of this one without embarrassing the hell out of Ted and looking like an ungrateful person at the same time.

I got nothing.

"Sure." I backed away before she could ask me to the prom for Ted as well. "See you Sunday, Ted."

He was holding his hand over his face in equal embarrassment to my own, I'm sure. The other hand came up and waved.

When I turned around I stage-whispered to Chloe. "You are sooooo dead."

By the time we got to the Beetle, Chloe couldn't breathe, she was laughing so hard. I tossed my backpack in the rear seat and started up the car.

"It's not funny."

She paused in mid laugh to look at me, then broke out again.

Remembering we were supposed to go necessity shopping, I pulled out and navigated through the insane teenage drivers to the street. "Where are we going?'

She had slowed down to a light giggle. "Target."

~O~

"Why do I need pantyhose?"

"Just in case. What are you going to do if you need them and you don't have them?"

"Uhhh, buy some?"

"You are such a boy sometimes."

"And why do I need like fifty pairs of panties?"

Chloe looked down in the cart. "It's only about fifteen, and you need different types for different outfits." She shook her head. "We have a lot of work ahead of us."

Apparently Target is the place to go if you are looking for somewhat decent underwear, because Wal-Mart uses bad quality material that doesn't last for more than a couple of months. Victoria's Secret is the high end I want sex, and I want it now type of place if you have far too much money and a fetish for satin thongs.

We browsed the Juniors section and picked out a couple of blouses that didn't suck, according to Chloe.

Then we spent the rest of the time in cosmetics in a pursuit to see exactly how much it would take before the cart busted a wheel with undue stress. Did you know that they actually make a tool to curl your eyelashes? It's called an eyelash curler. Fancy that.

~O~

"Why do I have a box of tampons?"

Chloe grabbed the box opened it and swiped a few before setting it on the kitchen island. "Set it by your personal toilet. That way if you have visitors, they'll see it. It's all an illuuuusion."

Ah.

We put almost everything away in a different room that we were designating Girl-Casidhe's room. Boy-Casidhe's room would be dismantled soon from the way Chloe was talking. She made herself at home and found Gram's make up table. I helped drag it in the room and we went about filling it with what I would need.

"Set the make up mirror here, and your nail dryer over there."

Yes, I have a nail dryer. I really have no idea what to think about that.

A glance at the grandfather clock at the base of the stairs told me I had about fifteen minutes before Steve was to arrive for his first tutoring session.

"Hey, Chloe. Steve's gonna be here at five for tutoring. So if you want a ride home we gotta bolt."

"Oh, crap. I didn't think it was so late. Thanks Cas… hold on. Steve who?"

I shrugged. "I didn't get his last name. I know he's on the baseball team if that helps."

She cringed. "Uh… just a sec." Grabbing her backpack she dug around in the bottom for a minute then passed me a small tube of something. "Just in case."

"Mace?"

"Pepper spray, actually."

Chloe looked down at my jeans and declared them too tight. "Put it in your bra. If he makes a move then douse him in the face."

I handed it back. "Thanks anyway. I think I'll be fine."

She gave me a really disappointed look that said, you naíve, naíve girl. Then set it on the island counter.

~O~

I made it back to the house with a couple of minutes to spare. Opening the fridge I took out some beef tips I set to thaw the day previous and put them in the crock along with some mushroom soup and a few spices.

Measuring out a decent amount of water I set it aside for my rice. That was when the doorbell sounded. A quick rinse of my hands and I made my way to the front door. The pepper spray caught my eye, and I remembered Steve ogling my butt earlier. Well maybe Chloe didn't have a bad idea. I stuffed it in my bra… just in case.

Steve was standing there facing the street when I opened the front door. He turned around and I blinked at his appearance. His hair was wet, obviously fresh from the shower, his button down shirt was wide open displaying an impressive set of very firm muscles and the button to his jeans was undone.

"Hey, babe."

Oh, hell no!

Before he even moved an inch I started in.

"Steve, I'm going to close this door and let you get dressed. You've got one minute. If I open it and you are still trying to be all sexy Senior then you can just go home. I've got better things to do."

With that, I shut the door in his face.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

His time was up and I opened the door. There stood Steve, with a buttoned up shirt neatly tucked into his buttoned up jeans. His hair was still wet, but he looked properly scolded.

"Sorry. I just got out of practice and I was running behind."

He saw that I wasn't buying it. "Want to try that one again?"

Hitching his backpack I watched as his ears grew slightly red.

"Uh, you're really hot and I acted stupid?"

Okay, that was funny. I turned my head slightly and couldn't keep the grin off of my face. "Okay. Ground rules. This is tutoring. If you want to flirt then please save it for school or something."

He nodded and I stepped back to let him in. "Kitchen's in the back. We'll do it in there."

I saw a quick smirk on his face and then I realized what I just said. "Let me rephrase. We'll study in there."

That brought a genuine laugh from him.

Entering the kitchen I pointed out the table to him and he pulled out a small book, which I assumed was Macbeth.

"So, how can I help you with Shakespeare?" I lifted the lid of the crock to make sure it was cooking properly and then set it back down.

"Uh, all of it."

I chuckled, just a little. "Okay. Let me try that one again. What is it you aren't getting?"

He sat down at one of the chairs that fell perpendicular to the body of the kitchen. "It's just so… old. I can't understand half of what they're talking about much less figure out what the plot is about."

I nodded. I had much the same problem when I read it the first time when I was twelve.

"Alright, put the book down. We'll do this a different way."

I thought about it for a second and then decided on a course of action.

"Who's the most important person on your baseball team?"

He looked to the side in confusion. "Mark, he's the team Captain."

I nodded. "Excellent. Now, would you like to be team Captain?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Well, yeah. But he's the best player on the team. I would have gotten it but he has a better batting average than I do, barely."

I clapped my hands together once. "Excellent… well not really, but for our purposes here tonight it will serve as a great example."

He was still really confused.

"Okay. You are Macbeth, and for the purposes of demonstration only," I gave him a stern face, "I will be Lady Macbeth."

Now I had his interest. Oh brother.

"At the beginning of the play you are informed that you were the second best player on the team. It's a great honor, only the best is King or in your case team Captain. Now out of the blue come three psychics, they are the Stygian Witches. They tell you that you will soon be team Captain."

Steve smiled at that.

"So you call me and tell me about what they said. Now being the socially snooty and vain person that I am I tell you I have a plan to make you team captain tomorrow."

Steve leaned forward to listen.

"All you have to do is kill Mark."

His eyes widened. "What?"

I shifted my body language to be a little more nonchalant. "You deserve team Captain, Steve. You've earned it. All you have to do is kill him."

I walked around the table behind him. "What do you think? Will you do it? Team Captain, Steve. It's in your power."

He shook his head. "Whatever," he tossed out.

I set my hands on his shoulders and leaned in close to his ear. "Steve. I want a real man to be my boyfriend. Someone that I can count on to do what must be done." Moving to the other side of his head I breathed into his ear. "You are a real man, aren't you Steve?"

He jumped up out of the chair and spun around. "What the hell, are you serious?"

I couldn't keep a straight face, and giggled a little. "Lady Macbeth was very serious, Steve." Ignoring his body posture I moved back to the kitchen and took a couple of Cokes out of the fridge.

"She wanted to be queen so bad that she challenged her husband's manhood and made him kill the king."

He took the proffered Coke and flipped the tab. Staring at me all he could say was, "Holy shit."

~O~

An hour passed like five minutes. I found I really enjoyed tutoring. I felt a real deep down satisfaction when Steve finally got it. We went through the first act like it was nothing. He was pointing out my examples as we went along, and I translated the words into actual modern English for him.

Hearing the six o'clock bonging of the Grandfather clock, Steve looked up and then at his watch. I could almost see a reluctance to stop where we were. But teenage boy took over and he tossed his book in his backpack.

"Wow, that went quick."

I nodded. "Learning is actually fun if you make it fun."

He stood and shifted his backpack on his shoulder. "Thanks, Casidhe. You're a life saver."

We walked out to the front door when I unlocked and opened it for him. "Thursday, same time?"

He leaned forward and then stopped himself. "Sorry." Instead he held out his hand and I returned the shake.

"You're welcome, Steve. See you Thursday."

Stepping out into the porch. "Nah, see you at school."

I nodded and returned his smile. Maybe he wasn't a total idiot after all.

~O~

After dinner I went upstairs, logged on to my email account and found another dozen or so pervs that had to be blocked and deleted. Luckily enough only one more picture got sent to Mr. Walsh's abuse address. I did, however, receive another email from Ted.

Cassidy, I'm really sorry about my mom. I didn't know she was going to make a date out of this. I only wanted to show her who was tutoring me in Algebra. If you just want to study and then skip the date, I will completely understand. You don't need to be seen with me out in public. It would ruin your reputation, and since you are new, that wouldn't be a good thing.

Ted

Oh gheeze. After a good ten minutes of internal debate I pulled up a reply window.

Ted, a single date is not the end of the world. Yes, it was weird being asked out by your mom, but moms are weird. Don't take yours for granted. She loves you and wants to see you go out and have fun. Regarding my reputation: I think I am a strong-willed enough person to be able to choose who I want to be friends with. If other people have a problem with that then I don't want them as friends. I will expect you here at two o'clock on Sunday for our tutoring session and then you will take me out for pizza afterward. Tell your mom I will provide transportation, so we won't have to be under her spying eye. LOL. :D

See you at school tomorrow.

Casidhe

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

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To Be Continued...

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Part 3

I remembered to pick Chloe up on the way to school the next morning. Here's to the power of actually not being an idiot two days in a row. Go me! If you are interested, today's color is beige, regarding my turtleneck sweater, and brown in reference to the color denims I was wearing. Chloe insisted that I wear matching socks and loafers this time. I kind of liked the tennis shoes I was wearing the previous day, but they had dark green striping, which according to Chloe would clash with today's outfit. Huh.

With her guidance I did my own make up in the Beetle as we sat in the parking lot. I didn't do too bad of a job, considering I'm not using a massive amount. The object of passing was to not look like the make up artists at Macys, but to look like you were still learning what works for you.

Today I learned that pink is not a really good color for red heads. Do they write books on this subject or something? You'd think if I could memorize the periodic table of elements that I could figure out a color wheel… whatever that is.

"How'd your study date with Steve go last night?"

I rolled my eyes at her. Yes, I knew she was jerking my chain.

"We wound up skipping Macbeth and went straight into making out on the couch."

She nodded right along with the conversation. "Just as long as you remember to use protection. Lord knows where his master of ceremonies has been."

"Oh," I remarked with a disappointed demeanor. "I have to say that it's amazing what steroids do to the little man." I held up my hand and waved my pinky finger.

"Oh, no. That's just sad," she said with sympathy. "It's the peer pressure, I tell ya. The need to excel at striking a small ball outside of a fence so that you can run around in a circle."

"More of a diamond shape really, Chloe."

"Really?" she inquired in disbelief. "How odd."

"Perhaps, it's a sexual metaphor in regards to latent homosexual repression. I mean think about it. On one hand you have a big strong man holding a long wooden phallic symbol while another man, pitches his ball at the holder of the phallic symbol. Then they all run around and try to tag one another before sliding into home plate. Now this, in turn makes everyone around scream and jump up and down in a decadent euphoria."

I sniffed haughtily. "It's a gay thing."

In mid giggle Chloe looked at her watch. "Time to school it!"

~O~

No, I hadn't noticed before, that Ted was in my homeroom. I was too busy talking to Chloe to notice that he had entered the room and sat three rows over, parallel to us. For those of you geometrically challenged, that means he was in the back row too.

"Attention please." Mr. Walsh stood at the front of the class holding a file folder and looking at his watch. "We have five more minutes before you are dismissed for first period. I need to step next door. Please don't make me come back here to discipline anyone for acting out."

Turning back to Chloe to continue my exciting tale about last night's study session, I noticed it didn't take very long for Mr. Walsh's warning to be ignored.

"Gimmie it back."

Even though we had only spoken for a short while I recognized Ted's voice immediately. I spun around in my seat to see a circle widening around Ted and a shorter, but stouter, boy.

"Wow, dragons. Can you be any more gay, dickhead?"

"Oh, shit," I muttered to myself.

"Jerry Greene," Chloe whispered hurriedly to me. "He's such a dick."

Ted made a grab for the sketchbook, but Jerry pulled it out of the way too quick. "You snooze, you loose, dickhead."

No, I have no idea why I did what I did. Maybe it was the fact that I was wearing an itchy lace bra or something. You know, irritation compounded by more irritation.

"God, you are such an ass, Jerry."

It was almost comical how everyone's attention was on me now. Think Casidhe, think!

"Girl's, may I have your attention please." I stood and offered Jerry Greene into evidence. "Note Jerry's short stature and building upper brow. Sure evidence that in less than three more years he will be paying someone good money to shave his back and in about twenty years praying to God that he still had hair on his head as he rubs Rogaine liberally on his scalp, in a vain attempt to lose the comb-over that is rapidly approaching."

Jerry's jaw loosened.

"Now note, Ted. Tall, a little bit lanky at the moment, but with lankiness comes the impending design of muscled bulk. Note his strong forearms, already."

I couldn't see anything else of his arms because of the bulky flannel shirt he was wearing. At least he had his sleeves roles up a couple of times.

"Yes, he wears braces. That tells me he actually cares about good dental hygiene, thusly good breath, unlike Mr. TroglaGreen here with yesterday's spinach still stuck between his teeth."

No, Jerry didn't have spinach in his teeth, but he didn't know that.

"Ted has a nice thick head of hair, which any enterprising girl, with the ovaries to know, means nice times are ahead with the running fingers. He's gifted artistically in several ways, and that means he's sensitive to what is around him. I.E. sensitive to a girl's needs, if you take my meaning. I for one, am glad he asked me out on a date this Sunday."

I couldn't have timed the bell ringing any better. Ted grabbed his sketchbook while Jerry seethed in embarrassment.

Chloe stepped up behind me as I gave Jerry my narrow eyes. "Ladies and gentleman, it's time for Casidhe to leave the building."

She rushed me out of the room and down the hall at almost a running pace.

"I don't know whether to be proud of you for putting Jerry Greene in the ground socially, or smack you upside the head for virtually declaring Ted Head the catch of the year." Chloe was shaking her head the entire time. "You know you all but said that he was your boyfriend in there, right?"

With an eye roll I slowed down. "Don't be stupid. I was just showing everyone that you can't expect people to look the way they are all their life. I just know what to look for. It's simple human biology."

Chloe sighed dramatically. "Well don't be surprised if Ted declares his undying love on your date."

There was a point being made here… I know there was, wasn't there?

~O~

At my locker, I popped up a magnetized mirror so that I could check my make up on occasion. After switching out a few books and transferring them to my bag, Chloe and I proceeded on to English where, lo and behold, Ted sat in furious work with his sketchbook.

What the hell? Is he in every one of my classes now? Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. Homeroom wasn't really a class.

Ah good, no sign of the TroglaGreen.

We still had a few minutes until class started so I checked my Blackberry. Hey, whatdoyaknow, perv's! Block, delete. Block, delete. Block, delete. Curiously, I noticed a lack of penis' in today's mail. Huh. Oh, I spoke too soon. Except the picture wasn't a penis this time, but a fairly nice downward view of some guy's muscled chest. I showed Chloe, and she gave a thumb's up for improved camera angle. The lighting could have been better.

~O~

Ah, lunch. I look forward to thee with lurid yearning. Ugh, spaghetti soup type substance. How can someone actually screw up spaghetti? It's noodle's and sauce… and maybe if you aren't a cheapskate, some meat added. Leave it to the girls in white hairnets to profane my meal by watering down the sauce. Cheese broccoli. I can feel it hardening in my stomach right now. Oh, Coke, dear Coke, to your sugary goodness I write a sonnet to thee.

"Ted Head is sitting at the table behind you."

"Shh, I'm tying to keep the broccoli down right now. It keeps moving around in my…"

"WHOA!" came a loud boyish sound before I was covered in today's lunch.

I froze in disbelief, my mouth working like a fish as I wiped a chunk of sauce from my face, but that wasn't all that was going on. I only caught it out of my left eye as the other was occupied with a burning sensation due to, what I'm guessing was, pepper.

A figure flew by me and slammed into whoever bathed me in, what is this?, great, cheese broccoli.

"FIGHT!" several people yelled.

I stood up and flung my hand out to rid me of the grossness when I saw Ted on top of someone, rearing back and slamming his fist repeatedly into their face. Holy crap! He was whaling on him and I could actually hear it when his fist connected.

You know how in all the action movie fight scenes they have sound effects that make you actually think the hit was more than it actually was? Yeah. Ouch.

The fight lasted all of about thirty seconds before some adult, in stretchy gym shorts with a key chain baring about 400 keys on it, pulled Ted off of… oh, that bastard! Jerry Green.

Apparently, Ted's forearms aren't the only part of his arms that are muscled. The TroglaGreen's face was bloody, his nose was obviously broken and I'd kind of be stunned if his jaw wasn't dislocated as well.

Mr. Walsh grabbed a hold of Ted and held him back.

"I saw the whole thing! He did it on purpose! I'll kick his ass!"

Jesus!

Jerry was holding his face and blubbering before I saw a tooth, or actually part of a tooth drop to the floor. Oh, eww. I looked back up at Ted. His face was red with rage as he struggled with Mr. Walsh. The knuckles of his right hand were raw and bleeding freely. Dammit. Turning to the table I grabbed the extra napkins I always got and poured out the remaining ice from my Coke into the middle. Wrapping it up as best as I could, I moved in front of him.

"Ted, stop it," I ordered.

It was like flipping a light switch. I grabbed his injured hand and pressed the makeshift icepack on the worst portion. He flinched only a little as he took me in.

"Casidhe, are you okay?"

Was I okay? Yes, I was covered and currently still dripping Jerry's lunch off of my body. He was bleeding and might have broken his hand on the TroglaGreene's caveman head.

"I'm fine, Ted. We need to get you to the nurse's office."

Mr. Walsh made a quick judgment call. "Casidhe, take him straight there. I'll be there when we sort Mr. Greene out."

I nodded and kept hold of Ted's hand, elevating it higher. "Keep it up here. It's going to hurt like a bitch in a few minutes."

We got two steps away when I stopped. "Chloe, can you grab my stuff, and Ted's too?"

She was still wide-eyed, but semi-lucid. I could tell, because she nodded.

~O~

We slipped through the south side of the office, where Ted indicated the Nurse's office was located. She stuck his hand under cold running water and then patched it with a non-stick pad wrapped in gauze before setting a large ice pack over the top.

"I've called your mother to pick you up. You'll need to get that X-rayed." The nurse apparently had done this before. Huh, who would have thought that High School was rife with trouble-makers and hooligans?

Mr. Walsh entered at that moment carrying a clipboard and a pen with him. Oh, joy. Report time.

"Mr. Head, as I'm sure you know, we have your signature on file, indicating that you are currently aware of school policy regarding fights."

"Hold on!" I stuck my butt in. "Have you seen what Greene did to me?"

It was obvious, because I was still picking noodles out of my hair. In fact I did so once more and tossed it to the ground in front of Mr. Walsh.

I knew what school policy was. Remember, I just signed up for school. Having recently read the student handbook, I felt I was probably the only teen in the school that was most aware of its contents. Fight's are grounds for immediate expulsion. They call it Zero Tolerance.

"Miss, O'Connor, shouldn't you be headed home to clean up?"

I stood up and put myself in between Ted and Mr. Walsh. "I'm a material witness to what happened, as well as a victim of Jerry Greene's bullying. Before you go expelling Ted you might want to refer back to the student handbook in regards to school policy on intimidation."

Mr. Walsh seemed to be measuring me up. I couldn't tell what he was thinking and it was driving me nuts.

"I'd be willing to bet you serious money that if we were to go pull ole Jerry's record right now we'd find incident after incident of minor infractions. I'd be willing to bet that if I were to ask around I could find a number of people that Jerry's been intimidating for the last few years."

At that, I heard Ted snort from behind me.

"Has anything been done about that?"

Mr. Walsh kept an even gaze at me, neither flinching, nor leering. Just level.

"I submit, Mr. Walsh, that Ted has every right as a citizen and minor of this state, to defend himself and others from physical and mental abuse that the administration of this school has failed to protect."

I've got to hand it to Mr. Walsh. He was cool.

"Miss. O'Connor, please go home and get yourself cleaned up."

I really hate being treated like a kid.

I narrowed my eyes at him. It was a stare down. Short lived, yes. I'm too short, dammit.

Instead of going off on more B.S. I decided to take a different sort of action, one that everyone in any position of power understands. Bending down to my backpack, I retrieved my Blackberry and pulled up a number.

"Hi, Carrie, it's Casidhe O'Connor… yeah, I'm fine. Is Sam busy?"

I looked back up at Mr. Walsh, and finally saw him in silent contemplation.

"Hi Sam… yeah, I'm fine." I shuffled a bit to the side to block Mr. Walsh's view of Ted. "Yeah, listen. I want to bring a civil suit up against a fellow classmate and Desmond High School."

Mr. Walsh lowered his clipboard and pulled his hands behind his back.

"Assault. A friend came to my defense and now the school's going to expel him for fighting. They have a no tolerance thing… right." I gave Mr. Walsh a quick, shit-eating, grin. "I'll have his mother get in contact with you… no, I'm paying for it … great. Thanks, Sam. You're the best."

With that, I hung up and stuffed the phone in my back pocket.

"Care to step outside in the hall with me for a moment, Miss O'Connor?"

I turned back and checked on Ted. He looked like he didn't know what to think.

"Sure."

Mr. Walsh held the door open for me and we stepped out. He didn't say anything until he closed the door.

"Touché, Casidhe," he said as he leaned against the wall. "You know it will never get to court."

I nodded. "You know I'm right. Greene is a bully. He got what was coming to him. But I have more than enough money and contacts through my lawyer that I can raise a major stink around here if I wanted."

He shrugged. "Considering incident's like Columbine and others you'd probably be right. I don't approve of bullies, Casidhe, but what Ted did in response was overboard."

I thought on it for a second. "You're right. It was. How about this then? Temporary expulsion. A week. An equal amount for Greene."

"He might have a case against Ted. That boy seriously messed up his face."

I shook my head. "Sam can handle that easy enough about my suspicions about Greene's record hold up, not to mention the amount of people I can probably get to back me up about witnessing the bullying."

"Very true." He stood tall again. "I'll pass it by the principal. I don't see any reason that we can't go with your suggestion."

He got a smile from me on that one. "Thanks, Mr. Walsh."

He nodded at me. "Now, seriously, go home and clean up."

I went back into the nurse's office and grabbed my backpack before I sat down next to Ted.

"It was worth it."

I looked to my side at him. "What?"

"Getting expelled. It was worth it to see Greene eat his own teeth."

Shaking my head in response I dug out my folio and pulled a business card from inside. "I'm pretty sure that they are only going to suspend you for a week. I kind of talked Mr. Walsh down. He's going to work it out with the principle now."

The fight was obviously lethargic for Ted. I don't think I've seen him so calm. Granted, I've known him for less than a day, but he's not twitched once since I put the ice pack on his knuckles in the lunch room.

"You're freakin' amazing, Casidhe."

That brought the heat to my face, so I shifted the subject. "Here's my lawyer's card. If they give you any crap or a longer suspension than a week, have your mom call that number. I have him under retainer, so it won't cost you a dime."

He looked at the card but didn't take it, so I tucked it in his shirt pocket and patted it down.

"I'll get your assignments and you can come over during the week. I'll make sure you don't fall behind."

"Thanks."

I stood up and let the backpack hang by my side. "Thank you for defending my honor, Ted." Looking down at my ruined clothes I sighed. "Now I'm going home to see if I can get this crap out of my hair. Email me later and let me know what happened."

He nodded. "See ya."

~O~

On the way out I passed Mrs. Head on the sidewalk headed inside.

"Dear God, Casidhe! What happened?"

I gave her a sincere smile. "Ted beat the heck out the guy that did this to me."

"Theodore did what?"

"He's quite a guy, your son."

~O~

No, I didn't get sauce all over the interior of the car. I have a garbage bag I usually keep in the trunk. So don't worry. When I got home I stripped at the washing machine and dropped everything in the wash. The mess had sunk down to my panties and bra. Yuck.

After a quick shower to rinse the bulk of the mess off my body I ran a hot bath to soak away some of my tension from the day away. Spying the lavender scented bath beads Chloe bought me, I went ahead and tossed some in. I really didn't want to smell like school spaghetti for the next couple of days.

Yes, I did notice the irony of having lavender bath beads.

Two shampoos and a thick layer of conditioner later, I almost felt normal.

I soaked and then warmed the bath once more. That's when I saw the shower caddy sitting by the toilet, adjacent the bath. Inside were a few disposable razors and some shaving gel. Of course, Chloe had already sprayed some out so there was some dry crusty gel at the tip to give the illuuuusion that I do this often. I swear, the girl could probably pull off the perfect murder if she wanted. Her attention to detail is pretty darn good. On a quick further refection I decided to go ahead and find out what it felt like to actually shave my legs. I'd never done so in the past.

Not that I'm a hairy beast or anything. On the plus side of not being able to produce massive amounts of testosterone… or any for that matter, I was currently blessed with really thin body hair. Well I say body hair; I mean my arms and legs. It's thin and being a red head it's light colored. But I had the urge, yanno?

~O~

Note to self: buy a styptic pencil to staunch the flow of blood in the future. Do you know how much it stings when you cut yourself right behind the knee in that really sensitive portion? Yeah. Ouch.

~O~

Warming the bath one more time, I lay back and enjoyed the unusually sexy feeling of uber-smooth skin. That's when I was rudely interrupted by my cell phone ringing. Upon making note of who was calling, I answered.

"Casidhe's Bath House of pleasure, Casidhe speaking."

The sound of giggling echoed out of the speaker. "You are such a dork."

"Yes, but I'm a lavender smelling dork. It makes all the difference."

I sloshed in the tub.

"What are you doing?"

"Just got done shaving my legs. Now they are as smooth as a baby's butt. Is a baby's butt actually really smooth? Have there been scientific tests run? I'm beginning to become a skeptic."

"Oh my God, shut up." I really enjoy hearing my best friend giggle. She gives good giggle.

"What goes on in the school front?"

"You are officially a celebrity now. But Ted is off the charts. Everyone is talking about how he beat the crap out of Greene because of what the troll did to you. I can also tell you that there won't be a girl around that will date him after that."

I laughed out loud. "Why?"

"You don't mess with a girl's clothes."

"Good point. These freaking things are expensive."

"One other thing you might find of interest."

"What's that?"

"Apparently the rumor mill has gone full blast, and you two are officially/unofficially an item."

I think I sloshed about a gallon of water over the side of the tub when I sat up. "What!"

"Ooop, bell's rung, gotta go!"

"Chloe! Chloe!" I shook the phone like that was going to help. "Chlo?"

"Just kidding," came her voice over the speaker.

"I seriously hate you."

Chloe gave me more giggle while I rolled my eyes.

"It did come up, but I slashed it in the bud. They just think it's really cute that a boy did that for a girl he hardly knew."

"Whew." I leaned back and tried to enjoy the water again.

"But I will tell you this. Sunday when he comes over, you might want to have a sit down and talk things over."

"Why?"

"Check out his sketchbook."

"Oh, I've seen it already. Isn't he really good!"

A short bout of silence came over the phone. "You've seen it… all of it?"

"Uh, no. About the first five pages or so, why?"

I heard Chloe take a deep breath. "Well, it's the last ten you need to pay closer attention to."

A deep feeling of dread passed through me. "Why?"

"They're of you."

"Really? Are you still screwing around?"

"No, I'm really serious."

"Ten?"

"Yeah, and their freaking detailed. I saw them when I picked up his books at lunch. That's what he was working on when jerk-wad Jerry decided he really needed a root canal the hard way."

I heard the bell in the background. "Bell's rung, really this time. Gotta go. Pick me up after school! Bye!"

~O~

Oy. I'm not Jewish, but I think the situation called for a good old fashioned Oy. I'd never be able to pull the yamaka look off. I'm not a beanie type person. Never was. Oh, I guess I'd have to wear a scarf thing over my head since I'm dressing like a girl now. I have no idea. I'm not religious. I know virtually nothing about Jewish people. Oh my God, what the hell am I going to do about Ted?

~O~

I styled my hair and put my bra and panties on. I really need something to fill my bra out. It looks ridiculous against my flat chest. Maybe I could get implants. That would freak Chloe out. Hey girl. Holy shit!

Yep, the double-D milk maiden has arrived.

Okay, my humor is an acquired taste. No implants for me.

I sifted though and found the last outfit that Chloe bought. I had been trying to postpone the obvious, but if I have freshly shaven legs I might as well show them off. It's a Gypsy skirt and a peasant blouse. I really don't have the breasts to pull off a good look with the blouse, but it's cute. I slipped my feet in a pair of sandals and made my way to the make up table.

Yes, I was getting much better at only my second solo attempt. It's really not that hard putting make up on. I just copied what Chloe did. Afterward I stood up and checked myself out in the closet mirror. Yes, I swished the skirt from side to side. Can I help it if I'm really enjoying being a girl?

With a frown I looked down at my plain feet and decided to brave the unknown and try to paint my toenails.

Dammit! How are you suppose to put polish on these little tiny nails without it sloshing all over the skin!

It took me three tries of painting, removing, painting removing to actually get it somewhat respectable. I guess that's why there is an entire profession devoted to doing this. It's a freaking skilled labor job! They probably have to train like electricians or something. The little piggy is a bitch to get right. I'm not even going to go into how screwed up my fingernails are. Forget that mess.

Checking the time I found I still had an hour left until Chloe got out of school. So I signed on to my email and Jesus!

Inbox: 137 New Emails

You've got to be kidding me.

After doing a quick run through, oh great I'm on a mailing list. Spam blocker do your duty! Anyway, I blocked and deleted more pervs. And wow, a whopping seventeen new porn mails, a new personal best for me. One Trojan, pfft, whatever. DIE DIE DIE! I wound up with fifty-three actual emails.

Mostly, they were people wondering what happened at lunch. I set those aside and found three more applicants for tutoring. Uh oh, too many.

I told them to meet me at the flagpole after school and I'd talk to them.

Crap, I'm gonna be late!

I turned off the computer and ran down the stairs.

Note to self: Don't run down stairs in new sandals.

I caught myself hanging on to the banister for dear life after almost taking a nosedive. Once I was on flat ground it was much easier. I dashed out and zipped down to the school. Parking down the street I grabbed my notebook, a pen, and my keys and made my way to the front of the school. Once I got to the parking lot the final bell rang and I slowed down.

I timed it like that, really!

It was still too early for students to be rushing out of the doors, seeing as almost everyone goes to their locker, at the end of the day, anyway. So I sat down on the bricks and had to stand up again because the skirt bunched up under my butt. I smoothed it out and sat down again. Upon further reflection, I crossed my legs at the knee, and leaned over to answer some more emails on my Blackberry.

"Are you Casidhe?"

I looked up and, gulp!, there stood a guy, trim of figure, but it was obvious that he really took care of himself. Dark brown hair, cropped short, and a rectangular face. He had the greyest eyes I had ever seen.

"I…I…" get over it Casidhe! "Uh, yeah, that's me."

"Cool," he sat down next to me and… oh no! I could feel my face heating up. No, not now!

"My teammate, Steve, said that you tutor him in English IV. He said you're really good."

My embarrassment induced frown started to stretch into a smile. "Yeah, we had our first session yesterday."

"Cool."

"Yeah, cool."

Oh my God, if anyone says 'cool' one more time…

"So, you need help in English as well?"

He shook his head. "Uh, no. I know it's not on your listed subjects, but do you know anything about Political Science?"

I blinked.

"They offer that here? I thought it was a college level course?"

He nodded in return and dug into his backpack. "It's an AP course. Advanced Placement. If I take the course and a test at the end of the year I can opt out of my first semester in college."

"Cool." I cringed. I must have sounded like a total retard. "Uh, yeah. Anyway, politics is a hobby of mine. Gramps and I spent four months in DC. I learned tons."

His eyes brightened and his smile widened. Dear God, he has perfect teeth.

"Really? That is so cool. I haven't even been out of state, much less to DC."

It was then that I noticed that I'd missed something he said. "I'm sorry, what?"

He chuckled a little. "I asked if you thought that you could help me."

I nodded, almost a little too eagerly. I think I'm turning into a spaz. "I'll need to look at the textbook to see, but I don't know why not."

Without any fanfare he handed it over. Without meaning to, my sandal started dangling from my toes. I realized I was bouncing my foot a little as I sat there with my legs crossed. Trying to ignore my body's attempt to break down I flipped open the book to the table of contents and scanned the page.

"What are you working on that you need help with?"

He didn't even skip a beat. "Constitutional interpretation."

Whoa. I really didn't know if I was qualified. It's one thing to have read the Constitution and memorized the Preamble, but to actually give a firm explanation of its meaning? Hell, there were Judges and College professors that have hard times doing something like that.

My lips tightened in resentment at being robbed of a chance to help him. I frowned and gave up. "I'm sorry…" after a quick shot of blood to my face I realized I didn't know his name."

He gave me his toothy smile. "I'm Mark Tanner."

All of the pieces started to fall into place. "You're the Baseball Captain."

He held out his hand and it swallowed up mine. Holy crap. His hands were huge!

"Yep. Steve said you wanted him to kill me for the Captaincy."

I inhaled sharply, and yes, I choked on my own spit. With a violent cough my sandal fell off and I nearly dropped the textbook.

"Whoa, are you okay." He laughed for a second. "I was kidding. He told me how you used baseball to make sense of Macbeth. I thought it was brilliant."

He thought I was brilliant?

Mark got up and grabbed my sandal and knelt to put it back on my foot. He was bent over me and I could see his smooth muscled chest through the opening at the top of his button-down.

"Mark Tanner, what are you doing?"

He jumped, I jumped, we were a couple of Mexican Jumping Beans. I looked up and froze. It was Lisa, the office bitch! She was two steps outside of the front door standing there with her arms crossed, and her face all scrunched up like someone just squeezed a lemon up her butt. Those of you that have had unfortunate experience of having a lemon squeezed up your butt, know how uncomfortable that can be. I'm not saying that I have… I have a vivid imagination, leave me alone.

She all but marched over and stood there while Mark took to his feet.

"Flirting with underclassmen again, Mark?"

"It's not what it looks like, Lisa. I'm trying to get tutoring help for my Poly Sci class."

She looked over at me and then back up. "From a Freshman? How stupid do you think I am?"

"I'm actually a Sophomore." While I should have added, And I think you're pretty freakin' stupid, I didn't feel it was conducive to the conversation.

Giving me a look like a squashed bug on her shoe I glanced over at Mark. "Email me later. We'll set up a time."

She gave me another glare. "He's taken, little freshman. Now piddle off and peddle your bike home."

"Thanks for giving me a ride home, girl."

Ah, Chloe. A lifesaver. I retrieved the key from the pocket in my skirt and handed it to Chloe. "The car's off the street back there. I'll be right behind you."

I gave Miss. Lemon Wedged Lisa a smirk and handed Mark back his textbook. "I'd suggest buying one of those little pocket copies of the Constitution and bring it along when we study."

He looked back and forth between me and Lisa. "Cool, thanks."

At that, I turned and made my way through the throngs of exiting students. Chloe was waiting for me behind the corner of the school. "Busy day today?"

I shook my head in resignation. "Only my life can be this screwed up."

"So, you and Mark?" She gave me a very interested waggle of her eyebrows.

I looked back and saw Lisa dragging him back in the school. Even though she didn't see me I gave her my narrow eyes and stuck my tongue out at her for good measure. With a exaggerated sigh I threw my back up against the brick wall of the school.

"You wanted to know my type? Mark is my type."

I closed my eyes and groaned.

"You don't go half-way on anything do you?"

Snapping my lids back open. "Chloe, he put my sandal back on after it fell off!"

"Cas, he has a girlfriend."

"The bitch! It had to be Lisa, didn't it?"

"Cas, he's way out of your league!"

"Hey!" I took mild offense at that.

"Cas," she edged into me and stage whispered, warningly. "You're a boy."

And just like that, my insides turned to lead.

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

---

 
To Be Continued...

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Part 4

After I started up the Beetle I just sat there. Chloe was sitting in the passenger seat trying to make herself as small as possible. I know she was waiting on me to blow up or something. But the thing is, she was right. I am a boy. No amount of make up, hair styling, toenail painting, or skirt wearing was going to change that. I was a boy.

So unless I wanted to cruise the gay bars, well cruise in front of the gay bars, I was likely to be alone this school year. No dating, no kisses, no making out on the couch, no hand holding as we walked down the street.

"Cas, don't cry. I'm sorry I said what I said."

I reached up and wiped at my cheek. I hadn't cried in a long time. Even when Gramps died I was more panicked than anything else. By the time it was all over with I was more numb than anything else. The numbness that comes from realizing that you are all by yourself in the world. The last time I actually remember crying was when I woke up from a nightmare, after my parents had been murdered, and Gramps was holding me telling me to let it all out.

I remember that was the first time that Gramps said, The past is the past.

Now I'm crying because I can't be a real girl and seriously date anyone. I'm crying because I will still be alone in a school of almost 2500 teenagers.

I wiped my tears away, along with, I'm sure, half my make up, and put the car in gear. Chloe was silent the entire way to her house where I dropped her off. She apologized again, but I ignored her and drove off, back to the house.

Upon arrival I stripped off my outfit, down to the skin and tossed it in the trash, went upstairs and took off the nail polish, washed my face and got into bed. I lay there in questioning wonder at how I had gotten this far. What was I thinking? I was smarter than this. I should have seen the consequences of what I was doing. Why was I blubbering like a little girl.

~O~

I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up it was night. The red light from my clock read 11:32. I got up and went to my real room. Pulling on a pair of my boy underwear, and my boy jeans, and my boy t-shirt I stood there in front of my dresser mirror and looked at myself.

The hair cut and thin eyebrows still screamed young female, no matter what my clothes masked over.

I closed my eyes and rubbed them. The crust of dried tears broke away and fell.

After taking a cleansing breath I went and retrieved the stylist's business card and set it by the downstairs phone, to have ready, so I could make an appointment to get my hair cut back to a boy's style. There was nothing to do about my eyebrows except let them grow back out.

So that meant secluding myself in the house for the next few weeks, or however long it took. I'd email everyone and tell them I'm dropping out. No need to tutor anyone if I'm not going to school, right?

~O~

Inbox: 75 New Emails

After a quick scan I pulled up the one from Ted to see how the hospital went.

Hey, Casidhe. The hand's not broken, but it feels like it is. I'm on an anti-inflammatory med and a little codeine for the pain, so I'm feeling pretty good right now. Mom, was pissed, but kind of not. It was weird. Dad is all smiles for some reason. He came into my room to lay down the law for my mom, but we just sat there while I told him about what happened today.

I told him about this morning in Homeroom, and what you said and then what happened at lunch. I guess I wasn't supposed to see him smiling out of the corner of my eye, but he was.

By the way, he wants to meet you. Maybe, if you want, you can come over to pick me up on Sunday and see him. If you don't that's cool too. I can have him drop me off. Maybe you can wave at him or something.

Anyway, I meant what I said before. About you being amazing. You are at school for two days and have brought down the class bully and inspired me to actually stand up for something. You are obviously smarter than anyone in our class, and you have a presence about you that, well, I can tell you are a good person.

I don't see good people all that much. Everyone is mostly out for their own best interests. You're not like them. You seem to actually care. Yeah, I know I'm all exposing my feelings here, but I can blame the meds. I'm sure I'll be panicking in the morning when I reread what I wrote. LOL

I better go now before I say something really stupid. See you Sunday. Write me if you get a chance.

Ted

Ted, you poor bastard, you're in love with a boy that dresses up like a girl. How would your dad feel about that, hmm?

I heard my Blackberry ringing off in the distance. I was tempted to ignore it, but I have a thing that I have to know who called. You never knew. It could be Angelina Jolie, hey, you don't know. It could happen.

It was Chloe, and apparently I had missed her calling five previous times. I sighed and hit the call back button. It didn't even ring once.

"Cas?"

"Hey."

"I'm really sorry."

"You were right… you are right."

"I still could have said it better than that."

I let it sit for a few moments. "I'm more of a tell it like it is person. You told it like it is. I can appreciate that."

"Are we still friends?"

I smiled a little. "Yeah."

"Are we still on for tomorrow?"

Tomorrow? Oh, shopping. "Well, I'm kind of not going to school anymore."

I heard her catch her breath. Then she hung up. What the hell? Then I heard the front doorbell go off and had my answer. I went and peeked through the peep hole then opened the door.

"Are you completely stupid?"

And here we go.

She pushed past me and dropped her backpack off by the stairs.

"Hi Chloe. How are you this fine January evening?"

Standing there with her hands on her hips she scowled at me. "Me, I'm fine. It seems like my newest friend has gone all Emo on me. I can't wait until she shows up at the local stop and rob sporting the latest Goth fashions. I hear black is in. Maybe you can stripe your hair in purple and red to make it, yanno, ultra Gothy."

I closed the door.

"And what happened to you. Why are you wearing boy clothes again?"

Walking past her to the kitchen I shot out. "I'm a boy, remember? I have no balls to speak of, but I still have my penis. Want to see?"

I heard her growl in frustration before I entered the kitchen. It didn't take long before she was burning up the hardwood floor in pursuit.

"You can't just quit."

I opened up the fridge looking for something to eat. "Emancipated minor, remember? I can pretty much do anything I want."

"You're going to quit school because you can't date Mark Tanner? Half the girls in the school want to date him and they're not quitting."

Okay, that crossed the line. I slammed the fridge door, hearing several bottles clank around inside and a possible the crash of a couple more. I turned on Chloe.

"No, this isn't about Mark," I yelled. "It's about me going through the next three years alone, not being able to date because I can't actually do anything with them without being found out. It's about not belonging to either sex. I can't be a boy because everyone thinks I'm a girl, and I can't be a girl because if someone finds out then I'm as good as dead."

After slamming both of my hands on the island counter, Chloe jumped. "The whole reason I am going to school is because I was supposed to have a life outside of constant studying. I was supposed to date, and have fun. I was supposed to laugh occasionally."

I sniffed and ground the heels of my hands into my eyes.

"But I can't do that, not anymore."

"Cas…"

"For the first time in my life since my parents died, I was happy. For a very short time I was happy being a girl. I looked forward to getting up in the morning and going to school, just to see what was going to happen next."

Turning around I slid to the ground and just sat there with my back up against the body of the island.

"Now, I realize that it's all just a nightmare again. I can't be a girl, all I can be is alone."

Pulling my knees up, I hid my face and wrapped my arms around my legs.

"You're not alone." Chloe's voice was right next to me, inches away from my face. "I won't let you be alone."

I felt her arms encircle me and I shuddered once. Then the tidal wave of emotion swept out of me in a howl as she pulled me to her.

I don't know how long she held me as I bawled my eyes out over every major event in my life: my parents, Gramps, finding out that I was happiest as a girl, and losing that happiness. All I could feel was Chloe rocking me and telling me everything was going to be alright.

~O~

I don't really remember winding up in bed, but there I was, snug under the sheets. From the way a strap was digging into my shoulder I knew I was wearing my night gown. I sighed to myself and tugged the sheets a little more underneath my chin. There was a slight chill in the air, but there was something else… a presence in the room.

Cracking open my eyes, just a tad, I saw Chloe sitting, asleep, in an armchair situated in the corner. Her feet were propped up on an ottoman, and a quilt was tucked in all around.

"Chloe?" I croaked.

Her eyes fluttered open and I could see a slight amount of confusion on her face, but then she focused.

"Hey, girl. How are you feeling?" She wrestled with the quilt as she tried to untangle herself.

"M'okay. You stayed."

She finally got free and sat forward, pushing the ottoman away. "Uh yeah, I wasn't going to leave you by yourself. You're my friend."

After clearing my throat and wiping at my face with the sheets I looked at her. "You could have slept in the bed with me, or had your choice of rooms, for that matter."

Chloe shook her head. "I can't sleep with anyone else in the bed, and I didn't want to leave you alone last night." She shrugged and stood, stretching away the night. "Come on and get up. There's shopping to be done and credit cards to wear out!"

"Chloe," I whined.

She looked at me then walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. I scootched over and made a little room for her. She brushed a hair off of my cheek and gave me a reassuring smile.

"Casidhe. After last night, I think we both know that there's a bigger issue here than you quitting school."

Not wanting to face the subject she was talking about I brought the sheets up to cover all but my eyes.

"I want you to answer a question for me, and then if you want, I'll leave you to your decision."

I thought about it for a second and then nodded.

"Good, okay… I want you to think about this while I go get ready. Tell me your answer later, alright?"

I nodded again.

"I want you to look deep down, within yourself, and ask your heart, not your head, if you are a girl or a boy."

I shut my eyes and almost cringed. Chloe brushed her fingers through my hair.

"Either one you want to be is fine with me, Cas. I'll help you as best as I can, but you need to make a choice, or at the very least, realize that you need to find out more about yourself in order to make that choice. Okay?"

With my eyes closed I nodded my head.

"Good, alright. I'm off to the shower."

I followed very soon thereafter. Luckily there was more than one shower in the house. I was back and sitting at the make up table when Chloe returned. Yeah, it took her longer because she's anal about her hair being just right. A warm smile was on her face when she saw me applying mascara diligently to my lashes.

"What?" I asked as I capped the tube.

"Nothing. Just wondering when you were going to be through hogging the make up table."

I stuck my tongue at her and grabbed a lipstick. With a couple of delicate swipes I jumped up and offered her the chair while I sat on the bed to slip on my sandals. For you nosey people, I was wearing stretch jeans, girls stretch jeans, mind you, and a white camisole with a lime green button down hanging loose.

~O~

It was a fairly warm day outside, well, sixty degrees was warm for January. We entered the mall and immediately made our way to the Smoothie King. Banana for me, Strawberry-Banana-Blueberry for Chloe… yeah, yuck.

Chloe's mission was to work our way up the major mall anchors and then hit the individual tiny shops as we worked our way out of the mall. Estimated time needed? Five hours, minimum. Apparently this didn't include time out to carry our bags back to the Beetle. Wait. Hold on. Who's idea was this?

J C Penny's had thirty minutes to open, so we sat on the bench outside the front doors, or at least I sat down, Chloe had other plans.

"Cas, look. LA Nails is open. Why don't we get our nails done and then Penny's will be open by the time we're through?"

I turned around and looked at the really bored…um, nail people. What do you call the people that clip your nails? Nailoloigists? Oh, I know, Nailiphiles… get it? Nail-i-philes — Nail-files? Oh, forget it. My superior humor is wasted on the plebes.

"Uh, sure."

Apparently, the Nailiphiles thought that I was a very bad person. I was relegated to sticking my feet and hands into some weird soapy water for much longer than Chloe had to soak. Then some weird Nazi-Asian lady took to my heels with a rock that she apparently found out in the parking lot or something. I swear it sounded like she was scraping away for gold.

All the while, she was chatting away with her compatriot in nails in a foreign language. I know she was talking about my feet. Bitch.

Ow! What the hell? I thought this was supposed to be a soothing experience! Whoever gave me that impression was sorely mistaken… get it… sorely… sore. Why do I even try?

I'm quite sure there was blood involved at one point, but we made it out of there in one piece, well, with several pieces added, as a matter of fact. Now my fingernails were longer. I got sport-length. I don't think I could deal with anything longer. They were a very cool red… I mean the color was cool-shaded, soft, not, like flaming red. Ugh. I'll tell you what, when you pay the cost of getting my nails done, then you can look on the bottom of the bottle and find out what the actual color is, alright? Saffron Ruby Sweet Cotton Candy or something like that. Nail polish companies are weird.

I think Chloe had an idea or something that I was supposed to get an outfit that matched. I was still wondering how to justify spending fifty dollars on an outfit to match my nails when it should have been the other way around.

On the plus side, my toes never looked so good.

Chloe got a French manicure. She told me it was out of style, but she thought it looked cool. Viva la résistance!

~O~

On the fifth trip back to the car I was about to pass out, so Chloe reluctantly admitted that I deserved a nugget type substance and we took a break in the food court. My poor stone scraped feet! They hurt! But they looked good!

I was now the proud owner of about two dozen outfits of which a number of could be interchanged with one another. This way I didn't wear the same outfit twice in a month. It was in the How to be an Effective Girl rulebook that I still haven't received a copy of, as of yet. The afternoon was devoted to accessories. Bangles, beads, necklaces, rings, clips, ties, bracelets, earrings — oh, by the way… oww!

We were back in Macy's looking though purses when I found the one for me. It was supple black leather and it had a bazillion pockets.

"No."

"But, Chloe," I whined.

"Cas, it's a Fendi."

"A whatie?"

She grabbed a tag that was hanging off of the strap and flipped it over for me to see.

"GOOD GOD! THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS!?"

For that, I received a kick to the shins.

I think my lower lip trembled, just a little bit, when I put it back on its very own dedicated display shelf. Goodbye, bazillion pocketed purse with matching price tag. Sniff. Parting is such sweet… oh, look at that one. It's got a pocket, on the outside, for my Blackberry! Yay!

~O~

Shoe, shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes! Some lucky, commissioned, sales girl went home tired, but very, very happy that day. The manager told me to pull my car around back and she had one of her stock boys wheel out the boxes on a hand truck. It only took a few trips. Dammit, okay, it took seven trips. The trunk and the back seat were crammed full to the brim. I couldn't see out the back window and Chloe had to move her seat up in order to not squish the most darling black slingbacks…

Okay, I admit I went a tad bit overboard. I think my credit card broke.

~O~

It took almost two hours to unload everything and store it away. Granted I had to empty out my boy closet and put everything into boxes in order to make room for my shoes, but it all worked out in the end.

"There, you are officially a girl."

I slithered on the leather couch and moaned. "Is it like this every weekend?"

Chloe shrugged and rubbed her feet. "Well, except for the stopping to eat at lunch time, yeah."

Opening one eye I gave her a glare.

She leaned back and laughed. "I can't believe American Express actually called you to tell you some crazy person was spending hundreds of dollars with your card."

I shrugged. "I rarely use it." Upon further reflection, I added, "I never go shopping unless I really need something."

"Sacrilege! I'll exorcize that demon from you soon, girl."

We sat in companionable silence for a good five minutes.

"So, what are you going to wear on your date with Ted tomorrow?"

I was almost in the Zen Zone when she asked that. So close.

"Uh…"

"You know that this might very well be the only date he goes on this year."

Great, put the pressure on, why don't ya.

"What do you suggest?"

~O~

I had returned Ted's email and told him I'd pick him up. Hey, he lives three blocks away, it's not like I'm going to Cleveland or something. I parked in front of the house, in the street. After taking a cleansing breath and saying a little prayer to Ralph Lauren. I opened the car door and swung my legs out.

My three-inch heeled, knee boots settled on the concrete. They had a really cute black fuzzy border all around the top. Warm! From there it was bare skin until mid thigh. That was more than enough. The skirt, Chloe informed me, was Buffalo print. You know what that means to me? Squat. I'll tell you what I see. I see a red skirt with little tiny pleats and a black crisscross pattern all around.

It's a tutoring session. Apparently Chloe thinks it will be a hoot to go with the naughty schoolgirl outfit or something. But since I don't have breasts, there is no way I can pull that off. Thank God.

My top was a thin solid black zip up sweater that comes down past my wrists and had this cute little hole I'm supposed to stick my thumb through. It settles down at my knuckles.

Cute, right?

A couple of rings and a silver heart necklace later and I was ready to face the Dad of Ted. Kinda sounds like a horror movie, yeah?

For practice, I wore heels for the rest of Saturday night and most of Sunday morning. So I was fairly confidant in my ability not to make a total fool of myself. As long as I don't have to dance then I'm okay. Since there is no dancing at the pizza place, I've got that one covered.

Walking up to the door I kept it in my mind to walk, one foot, reasonably, in front of the other. If you really walk one in front of the other, you kind of look like a hooker with the swinging of the hips. Not really the kind of thing you want to show off to a guy's parent's.

Before I rang the doorbell I heard a loud thumping of something. If I didn't know any better I'd swear it sounded like someone fell down the stairs. Except it was the opposite way, like they were falling up the stairs. Weird.

Ding Dong! Cross-dressing tutor calling!

I stood there, fiddling with my purse, while experiencing a deep seated desire to click my nails. I have no idea why.

That's when I heard a muffled, "Tutor's didn't look like that when I was a kid."

I blinked and tried to stifle a laugh.

The door opened, and I finally got a very firm idea of what Ted would look like in twenty years. Maybe when he gained about twenty or thirty more pounds of body muscle and maybe a little grey sprouting just above the ears, lost the braces and cleared the skin up. Hmm, nice.

I was waiting for Dad!Ted to whip out a pipe or something and tap it in the palm of his hand.

"Hi, you must be Casidhe. I'm Theodore's dad."

I held out my hand and gave him gay-limp shake. Hey I'm in character now, give me a break.

"Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Head."

He stepped back and swept his arm outward. "Come on in. I told Theodore to give us a few minutes, if you don't mind?"

I shook my head slightly. "No problem."

Stepping into The Head Household was like walking into a hospital. Everything was so clean, white, and somewhat Spartan, and I'm not talking about the sweaty-muscled goodness of Frank Miller's 300 either. I had absolutely no desire to shout, "THIS–IS–THE–HEAD–HOUSEHOLD!" and kick Mr. Head down into the basement.

"What a… clean home you have, Mr. Head."

"Thank you, Mrs. Head will be pleased you noticed."

It was kinda of hard not to. I was tempted to check the bottom of my boots to make sure I hadn't stepped in gum or something on the way in. Did I bring my stun gun with me? Because I'd definitely need it to short out the CPU's of the Stepford Family that lived in this place. Where the heck did they find Ted? Maybe he was adopted? Except, how hard would it be to adopt a kid that looked exactly like his adoptive dad? Hmm, this deserves further thought.

I was escorted into Dad!Ted's study and given a seat in front of a big sturdy desk. What the hell? Is this an interview? I'm doing this for free. Dad!Ted sat in the other chair and not behind the desk. Well that was nice of him, at least. I set my purse on the desk with the pocket for my Blackberry facing out toward us. Cool, right? Can't you just see Mr. Head saying, "Wow, Casidhe! Is that a pocket for your Blackberry? That's a very nice purse."

I waited for it.

Bastard!

I crossed my legs so as not to give Dad!Ted a free glimpse of my black lace panties. No upskirts in this manga, buster.

"I hear we owe you thanks for helping Theodore out in the office on Friday."

Ah, straight to the point. My eyes darted to the doorway and I tried to calculate the odds on a quick escape if I were to bash Dad!Ted in the head with my purse and make a run for it.

Damn my weakness for these boots!

"Uh…"

"Don't worry, Casidhe. I'm quite pleased with Theodore's actions on your behalf." He leaned forward and took a quick peek to the door then whispered, "Between you and me I think he's finally become a man."

Who tells people this about their kid? Would you like to tell me about his sperm count as well? Maybe the size of his…

"Casidhe?"

Ah, saved!

I turned to see Ted at the door. He was sporting a pair of black slacks, and a solid red button down. Oh joy, we matched. Won't our pictures turn out well. Then a strong feeling of dread overcame me. Oh no.

"I want you two to stand up against the fireplace over there."

Mrs. Head! With a camera! Curse you Ralph! You never listen to my prayers!

Ted turned around. "Mom, we're going to study and then to pizza. We aren't going to the prom."

Mrs. Head gave me the most pathetic pleading look. I was almost expecting her to stick out her lip and let it quiver for a minute. Then her eyes shifted.

"Oh, that is the most darling purse. Is that a pocket, on the outside, for your Blackberry?"

Now that, just isn't fair! She noticed! I had a quick little internal fantasy where I would grab my purse, do a Charlie's Angel's rebound off the desk while I cross-kicked Dad!Ted in the head and tossed my purse, which by the way had Extendo!Stretch straps, and it would rebound off of Mrs. Head's… head. Then I would grab Ted and make our escape.

All of this, of course, depended on me having a convertible red Ferrari parked just outside the door. Blast!

I stood and walked over to Ted and grabbed his arm. "Come on, Ted. It will be totally painless." Except for the eye-blinding, migraine inducing, flash.

Four flashes, and three poses later — I blinked, sue me — and we were out the door. I still had a hold on Ted's arm for fear of falling. There was a bright ball of light wherever I looked. I hate cameras.

"I'm really sorry about that," said Ted with a mortally embarrassed tone.

Squeezing his arm I reassured him. "Remember, Ted, some of us don't have parents to embarrass us before dates. They're just happy for you."

He walked me around to my side while I beep-beeped the locks open. Then he opened my door for me. I gave him a smile in thanks and sat down to swing my legs inside. I have no doubt, whatsoever, that Ted was staring at my legs the entire time. I could almost feel them burn with attention.

~O~

Algebra II is pathetically simple if, and only if, you can remember the stupid formulas. With his busted hand, which was currently wrapped under four feet of gauze, it was next to impossible for him to write, so we drilled with the formulas and some flash cards that I had made up. It wasn't the best way to do it, but if you can't write, what else are you supposed to do?

Near the end I could see he was getting frustrated.

"Sorry, I hate this," he declared. "I just don't see anytime in the future that I'm going to need these things. I mean who cares if two trains are leaving the station at the same time and where they'll meet up? Who uses trains anymore?"

I sat the cards down on the table and got up to pace a bit. Walking the length of the kitchen I turned around and saw Ted's eyes were glued to my butt. Yeah…

"Okay, let's see if I can give you a real life example."

He leaned back and set his uninjured hand on the table. "Okay, shoot."

"This Saturday, you and I are going to go on a date to the movies."

He seemed a little antsy. "Alright."

"The movie starts at… oh, 7:05." I watched as he nodded in understanding. "I really hate being late for anything, Ted. But I don't want to be too early either. There's nothing more boring than sitting in a theater looking at a blank screen while I'm wasting my popcorn. Popcorn is supposed to be for the movie, not for before, yanno?"

He nodded again.

"From previous experience, I know that the theater is 7.5 miles away. The speed limit out of the subdivision is thirty-five miles per hour for 1.7 miles and on the freeway it's fifty-five for 5.8 miles. What time do we have to leave to make it to the movie on time?"

His mouth opened a little and he blinked at me. "That's Algebra," I concluded.

I walked up to him almost bumping him with my knee. "Do you want to please me Ted?"

I reached over to the flash cards. I might have had to bend a little at the waist, but I retrieved them. Flipping through them I found the correct formula and sat it down in front of him.

"I really don't want to be late and I don't want to eat all of my popcorn before the movie starts."

He looked down at the formula and his brow narrowed in concentration.

"I'm going upstairs to freshen up before we go out. I'd really like it if you would solve the problem for me."

He looked back up at me and nodded. "Okay."

I had absolutely nothing to do upstairs. My make up was still fresh, but I touched up my lipstick, just for something to do. When ten minutes passed I started to the head of the stairs and was only half way down when Ted arrived at the bottom.

"I've got it!"

Apparently, all Ted needed was the proper motivation, and I had another date. I never said my plan had a flaw in it anywhere, did I?

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

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To Be Continued...

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Part 5

During the trip to Pizza Palace, Ted couldn't seem to lose the silly grin that was plastered all over his face. I tried my best not to stare or even look over at him. I have really good peripheral vision. Maybe it was the sun reflecting off his braces in a manic Morse Code, but I could see he was almost on the verge of giggling.

What I couldn't figure out was, what was causing it? Was it finally figuring out the purpose of Algebra? Maybe it was because he had another date? Or was it because we were actually going through the date portion of our tutoring session? Maybe all three. I was clueless. But did it really matter? He was happy, and I got to actually date someone.

I knew deep down that we weren't going to last. Ted is, or will be, pretty cute when he actually completes his puberty. However, I knew we didn't have that spark. Do you know what I'm talking about? That little somethin', somethin' that gets you giddy when you are around that special person. Something that connects you. I mean Ted is sweet in his own geeky way, but I just don't know if it's enough for me.

Plus there's the whole me having a penis thing.

That isn't going away anytime soon. I won't be having sex for the foreseeable future. I won't be having a female body anytime in the foreseeable future. The most I could hope for would be kisses. Would that be enough? If I were with Ted then it would be. I know I would be able to control myself with him. Mark, on the other hand, was a completely different matter. Going out on a date with him and being wrapped up in his arms… yeah, I'd blow everything on the first date. Uh… you know what I mean.

Maybe I could get Chloe to go out with me?

Chloe?

I broke the silence in the Beetle with a burst of giggles. It made Ted look over at me. The silly grin was still on his face, but it brought on a questioning look from him. I kept giggling, but covered my mouth with my hand.

"Sorry, I just thought of something stupid." I thought about how that sounded. "It didn't have anything to do with us. Sometimes my brain take little trips into the ether."

He gave me a curious smile and light laugh.

We pulled into the parking lot and I slowed. "Wow, apparently Sunday afternoon is pizza time."

The parking lot was packed.

Ted turned to me with a touch of worry on his face. "We could go somewhere else."

Inching the Beetle forward while I looked for an open spot I distractedly said, "Uh uh, I'm in a pepperoni and beef mood and when the mood rises, the opportunity must be struck."

I caught him going all white knuckle on his knee. What the hell?

Hitting the brake, I turned to him. "Ted?"

"What?"

Perspiration start to dot his forehead.

"What's up? Did you want to go somewhere else?"

His eyes fluttered closed in resignation and then opened again a second later. "Casidhe, I… I… don't w-w-want to ruin your reputation."

"What the heck are you talking about?"

He was interrupted by the sound of a really loud horn blaring behind us. I turned and looked out the back window. I considered flipping them off, but taking Ted's almost broken hand into account. I thought moving on was a better idea.

"We can go somewhere where there won't be so many people so you don't have to be seen," he explained.

Spotting a car backing up I pulled up and braked again. "I want pizza, Ted." I said it simply and plainly. "What is it with you thinking you are going to destroy my non-existent rep?"

He shook his head and clammed up. Oh brother.

After the car left I pulled in and killed the motor.

"Well, I'm going in to get some pizza. Do you want me to leave a window cracked or something, or are you escorting me inside?"

I saw his lips tighten, then he grabbed the door handle and hopped out. I followed. We met behind the car where I gave him a gentle nod and took his hand to lead him in. About half way to the door I laced my fingers with his and he seemed to relax a little. See? All it takes is a little push and some encouragement and he's cool. Easy peasy.

Luckily, there was only one family of four in line ahead of us and we were seated virtually right away. The table was a tad wet from the busboy just wiping it down. Our waitress was right behind him with a dry towel and we sat straight away.

We got handed one of those single laminated menus to peruse. It was a pizza joint. There wasn't much of a menu to look at. She took our drink order and skittered off.

"What do you think? Sixteen inch, or are you super hungry?" I asked.

"Sixteen is cool. Do you mind if we get extra cheese?"

I gave him a grin. "You read my mind."

A minute later the waitress returned and I had my super-gigantic-drown-a-whale-in-this-glass of Coke. Sigh. They spoil me here.

"We'll have the sixteen, thin, pepperoni, beef, and extra-cheese."

"Cool," the waitress proclaimed and she was off.

I slid the glass in front of me and slipped the ultra-super-I-can-barely-reach-the-bottom-of-this-glass straw in and sipped eagerly.

"Okay, spill."

Ted's attention was taken while inserting his own uber-straw and then was on me. "What?"

"The beans, come on, spill'em. What's the what?"

Realizing what I was talking about, he sighed. "It was last year. I did something, and now I'm not exactly, really, datable."

I rolled my eyes. It was like pulling teeth. "Are you going to make me guess? I have a pretty active imagination." I didn't even let him think that one over. "Uh, lets see. You had sex with the head cheerleader's dog in homeroom?"

He almost jumped. "What, no!"

I tilted my head and grinned at him. "Is it any worse than that?"

He shook his head. Ugh… nurse, forceps. "You were caught masturbating in the boys room."

He covered his face with that one. "No. Look, can we please not talk about this?"

"Nope. I hav ways ov making you talk." Okay, my Russian accent isn't all that great. "I can sit here and embarrass you all night long, or you can choose to rip the band-aid off and get it over with." I sat back with just a tad bit of smugness.

Ted scanned the restaurant and then his eyes fell back on me. He leaned to the middle of the table. I took the hint and scooted my Coke over and joined him.

"I was in gym glass, well the locker room actually." He paused and looked at my expectant face and then down at the table. "I kissed a guy. Someone saw and it got out."

He was still staring at the table while I blinked at the crown of his head. "Was he wearing Cherry Chapstick?"

What? Sue me. I like Katy Perry.

He gave me annoyed-face.

"Well, you're crushing on me, so it's not like you're all flaming gay-boy." At that he turned a bright shade of red. I guess that was a little too abrupt. Oops. "Ted. It's okay to be bisexual. Believe it or not some great people I know are gay or bisexual. It's not like it's the fifties or something."

He didn't seem too convinced, so I swiveled in my booth seat and scanned. The crowd. "Look over there in the corner second booth from the right."

He found where I was indicating.

"Lesbians."

"It's okay for girls," he countered.

I gave him my annoyed-face and then went back to scanning. "Okay, what about those two guys in the middle over there."

"Where?"

"The one with the hair. Gay."

"What? How can you tell?"

"The hair. No straight guy would have hair like that, so the other guy? Guilt by association. They're riding the gay carousal ponies of looove."

Ted sighed. "It's not the same when you are outted as a freshman in High School."

"Whine all you want Ted. You're wrong. It's the people that made fun of you that are the idiots."

He shrugged. "Well you don't have to worry about being outted."

"Oh, look there's Chloe." I leaned out and waved. "And she's with a boy, hmm."

Ted turned around and saw Chloe waving back. She patted her boy-date and ran over to say hi.

"Hi!"

See, told ya.

I scooted and she sat on the edge of the booth. "Hey Chloe. Who's the datage?"

"Dave… sigh! Hi Ted."

Ahh.

"Hi," he replied.

I thumbed at my date. "Ted thinks there's something wrong with being bisexual in today's society."

"You told him?"

I blinked. "Well, you blew that surprise."

"Oops, sorry."

"You're bi?" Ted asked with a somewhat disbelieving tone.

I nodded. He didn't seem to be buying it, so I turned to Chloe and laid one on her. She had surprisingly soft lips, oh, and some type of berry flavored lip gloss. Yum! Eventually she pushed me away.

"Hey!"

"See totally bi," I remarked.

"Well, I'm not!" Chloe protested. But as luck would have it, Dave saw, and it was obvious he liked what he saw.

"Slut," flat-lined Chloe.

I waggled my eyebrows at her. "Come on you know you liked it."

She stood and fingered away some smeared lipstick from her bottom lip. "You didn't use enough tongue, Cas. What have I told you about that?"

I waved her away. "Go, off with you, and your play toy for the evening."

She looked up at Dave who was about to be sat, as he was next in line. "Great, now you've worked him up. Blow jobs aren't until the second date, hello." After looking down at Ted she added to her statement. "Too bad it's only your first date, yeah?"

Oh, you are seriously evil, Chloe.

"Remember, when you kiss Ted tonight… more tongue."

I take that back, you are Satan, Chloe.

She winked at Ted and sauntered on.

"I like her," proclaimed Ted.

I just rolled my eyes.

~O~

I leaned back and rubbed my belly. "Too — much — pizza."

Ted looked pleasantly satisfied. I couldn't believe how much red pepper he poured on his slices. You couldn't actually see the cheese for all of the little red chips everywhere. He was sweating somewhat and wiped at his forehead afterward. That's when I saw it.

A big mongo zit forming. I know I said Ted had a problem with acne. Well that's little dots here and there. Everyone has them, and if you don't then you've obviously made some sort of evil pact with Lucifer or something. However what Ted had on the middle of his forehead was like the freaking North Star. How had I not noticed that before?

I nonchalantly looked down at his napkin and saw why. Make up. No, Ted wasn't layered in foundation, but he'd obviously covered up Mount Vesuvius there with a drop or two.

I'm sorry. I know it's virtually out of his control. Skin will be skin. But Jesus! It was like it had its own hand and it was reaching out waving at me as if to say, "Hi, I'm Ted's zit for this evening. I heard he was going on a date, and well, you know, it's in the union bylaws that we have to pop out and the most inconvenient times. Please admire me from all angles. Tell your friends! I'll be here until next week. Make sure you tip your waitress."

I busied myself slurping the last of my Coke. Poor bastard. La la laaa.

~O~

It was still light when I pulled up in front of his house, but the sun was hidden behind a number of thick rain clouds. Looks like it was going to be a deluge tonight.

"I had a great time, tonight, Casidhe."

Oh crap, this was it. Damn Chloe!

"Yeah, me too."

"Um… I guess I'll call you tomorrow about homework?"

We had talked about his one week suspension. Yeah, Mr. Walsh arranged to ban the two boys for a week. Equal time and all that.

"Sure. I'm doing a tutoring until five, so anytime after that, I guess."

He unbuckled his seatbelt and started fidgeting. I saw him lick his lips, preparing. Mine were already moist and supple, of course. The advantages of wearing lipstick, yanno.

You know when two people can sit there and not say anything and be at total comfort with each other? It's nice, right? Well this isn't one of those times.

"Ted?"

"Yeah."

Get it over with, Casidhe.

"Could you kiss me?"

It was like Atlas just dropped the world. The relief from Ted at not having to make a fool of himself let him relax. He leaned over. We almost bumped foreheads. Eeek! Zit! But I dodged right at the last second and tilted my head. He was still a little stiff… his lips were still a little bit stiff, but it turned out okay.

His tongue asked for entrance and I allow it; just a little playtime as we dueled slightly. He pulled back and smiled as he did.

"Chloe was wrong," he whispered.

I turned up my lips questioningly.

"I think your tongue use was perfect."

Awww, he's being romantic.

"I'll make sure she knows."

What the hell. I reached back to the nape of his neck and pulled him in for a second kiss. He earned it with that line. Our tongues met in the middle this time and he increased pressure slightly. Okay, this one was much better. I didn't venture forth into his mouth, because of the braces. No, I didn't need to a visit to the hospital for stitches. He'd had more practice with those things than I did. He knew how to avoid ripping his mouth to ribbons.

Ted broke off again and I ran my hand back under his jaw line and thumbed away a smear of lipstick from his bottom lip. Maybe I use too much? Maybe I need to dab better?

"Goodnight Ted."

"Night, Casidhe. Thanks again."

~O~

I was in some satin PJ's sitting on the couch watching Evil Dead II when Chloe called.

"Hey girl!"

"Hey, Chloe."

"So, did you use enough tongue?"

"Of course. He said it was perfect and he didn't know what you were talking about."

"This coming from the Computer Club Casanova."

I giggled slightly. "Don't be mean, Chloe. So did Dave receive the bobbing mouth treatment?"

"Nope, but I did have to pry him off of my breasts, twice. I swear, one little lesbian scene and guys are idiots. Thanks for that, by the way."

"It was my pleasure," I said with no remorse whatsoever.

"Of course it was. I'm a fabulous kisser."

"Goodnight, Chloe."

"Nite nite, Cassie-baby."

~O~

There was a torrential downpour overnight and into the morning. I hate rain, unless I can sit at the window and watch it from a nice warm chair while I sip cocoa.

In between classes I pulled my tutoring notices down, because I was full up with ten hours a week. Anymore tutoring and they'd be paying. But I didn't think I'd be adding anymore people to the roster. I like to have time to myself, and I do have homework of my own. Granted it wasn't much and it really didn't pose any academic challenge, but it kept me fresh on the various subjects.

At lunch I dug through my backpack for my Blackberry. Sigh. I missed my purse sitting at home. Hauling around a pack and a purse was just too much, especially while it was still raining outside.

Inbox:48 New Emails

Ugh. For some reason I was still gossip central. Flipping through a few I noticed that people were wondering where Ted and the TroglaGreene were. I had already set up a form letter to explain, and thumbed through the majority of emails that way.

Hey, only one porn mail today. That was until I had made it near the bottom. Then I got a surprise.

Casidhe- I don't mean to freak you out or anything. I'm not a stalker, really. I just thought you were really cute and wanted to tell you. I'm not going to say who I am just yet. People are weird around here about girl/girl stuff, but I saw you and that Chloe girl at pizza last night and knew you'd be receptive. Yeah, I'm lesbian. And no, I'm not looking to hook up, but it would be nice to talk to another girl about it since I'm still in the closet.

If you'd be willing to talk then send me an email back and we'll maybe get together, or at least email some. I really need to talk. Sorry for laying this on you, but since you're new, I thought it might be easier to talk to someone I didn't know, ya know?

~D

Just call me Dr. Phyllis. Do other new kids in other schools have this much drama in their lives? I shrugged to myself and sent a quick email back.

D~ One can never have too many friends. Email me and we'll set up a time to meet up. I have tutoring until 4:30 this afternoon. Anytime after that is cool.

I finished the, uh… meatloaf? and polished off my Coke. Chloe was taking a little longer than normal as she was texting with her new boy-toy and grinning madly all the while. Don't you love the new day and age where you could be sitting at the table with your best friend and so caught up with your phone that you never talk to them?

~O~

When the final bell of the day rang, I made my way to the Math department and grabbed Ted's assignments for the week from his Algebra II teacher then trotted off to my locker to dump my books. Luckily, I didn't need to bring any of my own books home as I only had to complete some silly worksheets, and get this, color the countries of Eastern Europe. What's with that? Can High School be anymore simple? I mean, Eeek! I have to color!. Whatever.

Going on a trek to find Ted's locker was something else. He needed his Algebra II book and gave me the locker combination to retrieve it. It only took me an additional ten minutes to do that little job before meeting Chloe at the front door.

"Hey girl! Got everything for your man?"

I rolled my eyes at her.

"Miss O'Connor."

The voice came from behind me. I turned and Mr. Walsh was coming out of the front doors. He was carrying a manila folder with him and had request face firmly in place.

"May I speak to you in private for a moment."

I looked back at Chloe and she sat back down on the bricks giving me a shooing motion. Great, I can always count for backup. Moving off to the side, Mr. Walsh motioned with the folder.

"I have a special request to make of you and hope you think about it before declining."

Why would I decline? Stick around, you'll see why.

"Uh, sure."

He nodded, once and then started. "I remember that you are tutoring Theodore Head and heard from his mother that you are keeping him up on his classes this week while he's on suspension."

I nodded, questioningly. Where was he going with this?

"Another mother has made a request of the school for similar tuition. Since you are at your maximum allowed hours for Community Service I couldn't, in good conscience, require you to tutor this specific student."

Okay, I couldn't take the cloak and dagger routine. "Who are you talking about, Mr. Walsh."

"Jerry Greene."

I almost snorted. "No, uh uh. No way."

"Miss O'Connor, Need I remind you that you contributed to this situation in the first place?"

"Wha?" I stood my ground. "Yeah, I was the victim. Remember the cheese broccoli that took an hour to get out of my hair?"

Mr. Walsh wasn't the least bit cowed. "Was that before or after the incident where you publicly embarrassed Mr. Greene in front of his Homeroom class."

My eyes narrowed. "After, Mr. Walsh. But if you received all of your information correctly, then you also know that he was bullying Ted at that time and playing a mindless, juvenile game of steal Ted's folder, which wouldn't have happened if you had stayed in your assigned class instead of going next door."

A bark of laughter exploded from his lips at my accusation. "Touché, Miss O'Connor." He chuckled for a moment. "And now in the spirit of cooperation and putting the past in the past, I am asking you to help me find a common ground between the two boys."

He held the manila folder out to me. "Help me put an end to their hostilities."

My shoulders drooped. "Why me?"

Mr. Walsh's eyes eased in kindness. "Because, Casidhe, I've seen your testing scores. You shouldn't even be in this school. You should be in college. This will pose no academic challenge to you as far as your other coursework. Additionally, Mr. Greene will be graded, by you, in conduct during the next week. His mother agreed that if you deem it appropriate and he misbehaves, then he is to suffer another week's suspension."

My eyes lit up at that. But Mr. Walsh cut me off. "That does not give you liberty to arbitrarily fail him in conduct to suit your whims. I suggested that you gather Theodore and Jerry together for joint homework sessions. You preside over them while they do their homework and answer questions for them."

It sounds easy enough, in theory. "And when Jerry starts acting up?"

He nodded. "If that were to happen then Fail his conduct for the day, inform me, and I will take action. If he receives two such Failing conduct grades then he will suffer another suspension."

Whoa. There is no way the TroglaGreene would make it. I've seen people like him before. They can't help themselves. I still didn't want to do it, but my stomach was telling me to do the right thing.

"Fine."

"Excellent, Casidhe, excellent." He pointed to the front of the folder. "His phone number is here. If you have any problems, my cell number is on the inside."

I took the folder and gave him reluctant face then spun around and joined Chloe.

"What was that about?"

I rolled my eyes. "Apparently,I'm tutoring The TroglaGreene."

"No, way!"

"Way." I looked at the number and went to dig in my backpack for the Blackberry. "Considerable amounts of arm twisting and guilt trips make this decision possible."

"What's Ted gonna say?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea."

After dialing the Greene household an older female answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, Ms. Green?"

"Yes."

"This is Casidhe O'Connor. Mr. Walsh said you'd be expecting my call concerning The Trog…uh, Jerry's tuition this week?"

"Oh, yes, hi." She paused for a second. "I hope we can put an end to this thing Jerry has for terrorizing Theodore Head. I've spoken to him time and again, but it's not doing any good."

So, it wasn't a one time bullying. Am I good or what?

"That's my hope too, Ms. Greene."

"So, what do you have in mind?"

I looked at my dainty little watch that I got on Saturday. "If you could drop Jerry off at my house at 5:30 we'll do homework and see where we go from there. I'll have Ted come over at the same time and see if we can bury the hatchet."

I could almost see the cringed look on her face. "Do you think that's wise, having them both in the same place so soon…"

"We need to do it sometime," I countered.

"I guess so."

I gave her my address and hung up. Something, deep in my gut, told me this was a bad idea.

~O~

Teaching History is fun! I love throwing little lesser known facts out and little stories to enforce what actually happened behind the scenes during major points in history. It helps retention if you actually get into the fun stuff. Joann was a captive audience, and was fairly receptive.

When 5:15 rolled around we broke up and I watched as her father picked her up in front of the house. Guess who was waiting at the front door for me. Ted!

"Hey Casidhe."

Okay, so I felt a little heat rise up to my face when I saw him. It really didn't mean anything in the long run. I also had a little - just a little - desire to do something. What can I say? I give in to my desires sometimes. I stepped up to him and grabbed the front of his shirt, just a little, just hard enough to pull him down for a quick kiss.

Kisses are like heroine. Once you get a taste, you want more and more. My name is Casidhe O'Connor and I'm an addict.
Hi Casidhe!

Dropping back down on my flat feet I smiled. "Thanks. I needed that."

Ted's grin reached from ear to ear. "My pleasure."

I opened the door back up and we were about to step inside when a car pulled up into the driveway. Ted squinted his eyes until he realized who was in the passenger seat.

"What is he doing here?"

Crap. I hadn't really had the chance to tell Ted about the TroglaGreene. "Look, long story short. I got coerced into tutoring Greene along with you in some lame idea of détente. Don't cause any trouble and I'll explain in a minute."

I could see the anger boiling behind his eyes, not to mention the gritting of his teeth. Oh boy, this was going to be fun.

Ms. Greene exited her car, along with Jerry. Oh, my freaking God. Jerry's face was black and blue. Two massive black eyes decorated the top half, a large piece of white tape crossed the bridge of his nose and his jaw was yellow from ear to chin on his left side. He really didn't look like he wanted to be there, but you could tell, from the stern look being directed at him from his mother, that he didn't have a say in the matter.

I crossed the lawn and met them halfway as I held out my hand. "Hi, Ms. Green, I'm Casidhe."

"Hello, Julie Greene."

Her eyes dropped to my short shorts and my pale smooth legs for a half a second before raising back up. Jerry stayed back and to the side with a really constipated look on his face.

"Jerry, could you wait with Theodore? I want to talk to Casidhe for a moment."

With a huff he sauntered over to the front door while exchanging a death leer with Ted.

"Are you sure you can handle these two?"

I heard something from behind me. It sounded like they were already getting after it. I spun around.

"HEY!" Both boys jumped. "You two, kitchen table now! And not a word until I get there, got it!"

Ted's eyes almost bugged at me and TroglaGreene's lips thinned.

"Go -- now!"

Ted turned and went inside followed by Jerry a few seconds after. I turned back to Ms. Greene. "I'm sorry, you were saying?"

She looked like she was going to laugh. Her eyes were smiling at me. "Never mind. I see you have things well in hand. If you have any trouble from Jerry please give me a call. He knows he's to be on his best behavior."

I gave her a cheeky grin in return. "We'll be fine. See you in a couple of hours."

Listening for any yelling, I proceeded through the living room to the kitchen. Silence was golden. Ted was situated on one end of the table and Jerry the other. They were sitting there giving death glares to each other as I stood in the doorway.

I shook my head and went to the fridge. I got a Coke for me and set it aside. "Ted?"

He didn't break off the stare contest, but he answered. "Coke please."

"Jerry?" The TroglaGreen didn't answer. "Jerry, quit being an ass and answer me."

"Same." Huh, his mouth wasn't wired shut. Pity.

Gathering the drinks I walked over and set them on the table. After giving them their drinks I popped mine open and sipped.

"Okay, this isn't going to work if you two can't get over this. Mr. Walsh wants you guys to … well, not get along, but at the bare minimum you need to not act like asses." They still hadn't broke off their collective gazes. "So, we're going to do our homework. If you have a question then speak up."

Oh screw this. I slammed my hand down on the table. "HEY!"

That caused both of them to blink. Ha! I won. I looked over at Jerry. "If you can't get over it then I fail your conduct and you are out for another week, get it?"

His face screwed up and he dropped his eyes to the table.

"And you," I said as I turned my head at Ted. "If you don't get over it, you get cut off. No more kisses, comprende?"

Ted's mouth dropped.

Jerry couldn't resist. "You're kissing this fag?"

My eyes blazed. "Out, get out. I'm calling your mother and Mr. Walsh. You fail."

Greene's eyes bugged. "No! I'm sorry. I'll shut up."

My eyes narrowed at him. I paused and then relaxed. "There will be no more chances. Keep it civil."

He nodded slightly.

"Great! We only have to do this for a couple of hours every day this week. I'm sure we can all get along for that short amount of time." I turned and walked back to the counter. "I'll be over here. If you have a question then bring it to me."

I was starving. Pulling out some veggies from the fridge I started chopping them up and piling them in the steamer. They cooked away while I seared some thin strips of beef for my dinner."

The time was spent with scribblings and me, eating my dinner. When that was put away I sat on the bar stool and got into my own homework.

"Quit staring at her," I heard Ted whisper.

"Bite me, Head."

I rolled my eyes and looked back. Yep, ole Jerry there, was ogling my legs. Eww. "Back to work, boys."

Ted got up and asked me a question about his Algebra and after getting his answer, snuck a quick kiss before returning to the table. It didn't take me long to finish up my Kindergarten coloring assignment and I was putting my folder away.

I went over and checked Ted's work, thus far, and only had to make one correction. He got a great big grin as a reward. Moving on to the TroglaGreene's work I stood there for a couple of minutes and then sat the papers on the table as I bent over at the waist to peer closer.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Ted going red and his lips tightening. Green was doing something behind my butt and I could probably guarantee it wasn't gentlemanly.

"Hey Jerry?"

"Hmm, yeah?"

I was nice and pleasant with my voice. "Do you want to explain to your mom why you have a broken hand?"

"Uhh…"

"Then I suggest you keep your hands and eyes on task, and quit trying to get a rise out of Ted."

He settled back down and I rose to step away. "Good work."

~O~

After giving Ms. Green a reasonably good report on Jerry I waved goodbye and went back in to the kitchen. Ted was putting away his books and looking almost grim. I was pleased with his attitude, for the most part, with having Jerry interrupt our studying session. He wasn't an ass once… well except at the beginning.

I went over to him and held out my hand. He looked up with curiosity. "What?"

"Come on."

He stood and I led him out into the living room to the couch and had him sit down in the middle. I went over and turned on some music. Just something light, some instrumental blues, and then went back. Giving him a naughty grin I said, "You were a very good boy today, Mr. Head."

I stood in front of him and then climbed on the couch, or more to the point, on Ted. I straddled his lap, with each of my knees wedging into the back and my butt sliding down his legs until we were connected at the hips. My hand's went around finding the nape of his neck before I lowered myself to his lips and gave him a nice reward.

Ted's hands found purchase at my waist and then slid further down to my bare legs tracing the length to my delight. It felt really good to have them caressed. His tongue demanded entrance to my mouth and I allowed with pleasure.

Before I knew, it Ted had me feeling very feminine as he took charge after that. Within maybe fifteen minutes we had changed positions and he had me on my back with my legs hitched up on his hip. I could feel his erection grinding between my legs and it sent me over the moon with happiness that I could have this effect on a boy.

It was then that I felt his hand slide up under my shorts, and more importantly up under my panties. My hand snapped to his wrist and he pulled back a little.

"Sorry," he breathed. "You've got me all…"

I smiled at him. "I know. Me too."

He hovered there for a few seconds just staring at me. It was making me feel kind of shy all the sudden.

"What?" I whispered.

He smiled. "You're just so damn beautiful. I can't stop staring."

I blushed, I know I did. What girl doesn't want to hear those words. "Ted," I replied in a soft voice.

"Would you be my girlfriend, Casidhe?"

A hitch found my throat, and I searched his face, centering on his eyes.

"Uh-huh." What am I getting myself into? I didn't have a clue, but I wanted to find out. Letting go of his wrist I slid my hand up his chest and pulled him down for another kiss.

I could do this. It didn't have to lead to sex or anything. I could have a boyfriend. We could hold hands, and go on dates, and go to dances, and kiss, and hug, and…

My blouse rose up as his hand slid along my ribs. God that felt good.

That's when my Blackberry went off. Ted jumped and almost flew across the couch leaving me there all rumpled. This had better be a damn important phone call! I sat up and grabbed the damned phone. Oh, Ted's house. Ooops.

After clearing my throat I answered. "Hello?"

"Hi Casidhe, it's Theodore's dad. Is he close by?"

"Uh, yeah. Yes sir. Hold on a sec."

I covered the receiver and mouthed. Your dad.

Ted took the phone. "Hey Dad. Yeah. We were just finishing up. Can you come get me?"

A second or two later he hung up and handed it back.

"Dad's on his way."

I looked down and saw Ted's little predicament. "I think we better let you cool down a little."

He looked to the side, obviously embarrassed. I set my hand on his wrist. "Ted, don't worry about it. It's natural. Girls have something similar happen to them too."

He still couldn't meet my eyes. "Yeah, but you guys don't have it as obvious."

True. I tried my best to make him feel better. "Well I think it's very complimentary. It means you find me attractive."

Ted looked up at that and saw that I was serious. "Casidhe, you're like the hottest girl in school."

Okay, now I knew he was laying it on thick. "I'm cute. I'll give you that. I'm nowhere near hot."

"You're wrong."

Okay, now I'm starting to get embarrassed. "Thank you." I looked around, wanting nothing more than to get back to making out. "Um, you better get your books. Your dad'll be here any minute."

Ted stood and made his way to the kitchen. When he got in there I saw him rearranging himself and I almost giggled. My mind went off into fantasy-land about what it would be like to be a real girl and be able to take care of that problem for him. I mean I could do it by doing other things that didn't include me taking my clothes off, I'd never done that before and didn't have a clue as to what to do. Not to mention the eww factor. But it didn't seem so eww to me at the moment.

God, can I have a magic wand so I can poof myself into a real girl, please?

Ted returned and I walked him to the front door. I was about to open it when he set his bag on the floor and took me into his arms for a final kiss goodnight. My hands drifted across his chest and down to his belt. I fingered his belt loops tight and pulled him into me.

He hadn't softened at all and I felt it pressing against my belly. Grrrrrrr. He broke away and gave me a final peck before picking up his bag. I was breathless and my lips felt swollen and raw.

"Bye, girlfriend," he said to me.

"Bye boyfriend."

At the sound of a double honk he opened the door and I watched as he disappeared into the night.

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

---

 
To Be Continued...

---

 
Part 6

Inbox: 23 New Emails

Looks like the deluge of pervs had ended.

Casidhe- Thanks for responding. I think your idea of having us get together tonight would be great. Thanks for keeping safety and anonymity in mind. I guess a good place to meet would be the Quick Stop at the front of the subdivision. Then we can go to your place as you suggested.

~D

A few minutes before Homeroom ended Mr. Walsh called me out into the hall. Don't you hate it when your teacher does that. I mean like everyone stares at you trying their best to psychically figure out what you've done and how much trouble you are going to get into for no other reason than to spread it around school. Maybe, during today's gossip mill, I'll be Mr. Walsh's love slave, or perhaps he'll be mine in some S&M Pedo thing. The weirdest emails always pop up afterward. Color yourself lucky that you only get penis enlargement emails.

"How did things go last night?" he asked.

"Uh…" The first thing that popped into my head was my make out session with Ted and him asking me to be his girlfriend, but I highly doubt Mr. Walsh was interested in that little tidbit. Then my brain started to actually work. "Oh, you mean between Ted and the Trog… uh, Jerry."

He gave me a weird look, as if to say, "Are you retarded?"

"It went okay. I had to yell at them once and keeping Jerry on task was a little more effort than I'd care to make a daily thing out of, but overall it was productive."

I could see the relief in Mr. Walsh's face. "Excellent." He breathed in and gave a cleansing release. "I've got to admit I had my doubts, but you managed to pull it off Casidhe. Well done!"

The warm fuzzies sifted through my skin as I basked in Mr. Walsh's adoration.

"I'll get in contact with Mrs. Greene and let her know."

I shook my head a little. "Oh, she picked Jerry up last night. She already knows he's got a thing for my legs, but at least he finished his homework without bloodshed or any facial reconstruction surgery needed."

That got a snort of appreciation for my effort. "Well keep it up, Casidhe. You're doing a great job considering the circumstances. How are your guardians taking it?"

Uh, what? Well I guess the all knowing Homeroom teacher isn't as all knowing as I thought.

"I don't have any guardians, sir. I'm emancipated."

His brows furrowed for a moment as his brain defined the term and its actual application to me.

"You mean you live by yourself?"

I nodded. "As of the beginning of December. My Gramps arranged it for me before his death."

The look on his face was almost comical as it shifted between emotions.

"It's okay, Mr. Walsh. We were expecting it and making preparations for years. I'm rich and worldly enough to make my own decisions, plus I have advisers."

Then a light bulb blew in his head. "Your lawyer."

I nodded. "He's a family friend. He grew up with my dad."

After checking on the goings on in class with a quick peek through the crack in the door he got all serious on me. "Casidhe, if you need someone else, someone objective, who's not …"

That brought a bright grin from me. "Thanks, Mr. Walsh. That's sweet of you."

He reddened slightly. Aww, isn't that cute. I made a teacher blush!

"As a father of girl in college, I want to offer one bit of unsolicited advice: wear jeans and a frumpy shirt tonight. Teenage boys aren't known for their control of certain… how can I say this… appetites."

Okay, my turn to go red. "Uh, I think Ted and I can handle Jerry, sir."

His grin stretched wide and he chuckled good-naturedly. "I wasn't speaking only of Jerry, Casidhe. Word has it that you and Ted are somewhat of an item."

Alert! Alert! Someone call the fire department! My face went from pink to apple red. "Wha… I… he just asked me last night! How could you know…"

It clicked in my head. "Chloe." Curses!

~O~

"That's it! I'm bringing my own lunch from now on," I declared. "What the heck is that?"

"Hungarian Goulash," Chloe answered with equal distaste.

I was boggled. "Thank God the TroglaGreene didn't have that on his plate Friday."

"Eww."

"Exactly."

~O~

My email was clear, for once, and apparently Dave had his phone confiscated in Homeroom so Chloe and I were free to chat.

"So when are you and Mark gonna hook-up?"

"Huh?" Sue me. I was still in boggle-land over the Goulash. Foul, I tell you!

"Mark, baseball god, firm bodyness, maximum juicability…"

"Are those actual words?"

"What's Ted think about him?"

I rolled my eyes. "I haven't said anything, and it doesn't matter anyway, because I'm Ted's girlfriend. And thanks, by the way for getting the word out," I remarked with an unkind leer.

She preened. "Anything I can do to further the cause, Cas. It's no problem."

"Uh, yeah."

"You two are using protection, right."

Okay, the goulash took a back seat in my brain. "We're not having sex!"

Chloe gave me a raised eyebrow. "You did tell Ted about… yanno."

I shook my head. "Uhhhh no."

"Casidhe!"

"What?"

"Well, don't you think he deserves to know that his girlfriend…" She couldn't finish the sentence but did include a nice set of hand gestures.

"I don't plan to have sex with him. Just maybe some lengthy kissage."

She sidled up closer to me. "You know he's bisexual, right?"

I nodded. "How did you know?"

Okay, forget I asked that question. Queen of the gossip tower is sitting next to me.

"Well, of anyone that might understand and still be willing to date you, and maybe some other fun stuff, don't you think Ted would rate right up there with the people, in the know?"

You know, for someone that's off-the-charts smart, sometimes I really don't think. My head dropped to the table.

Just to let you know, no, I didn't actually set my head on the table. My arm was there as a buffer. Seeing what they are serving for lunch in this school seriously put into question possible sanitation procedures. So… eww. Maybe that's what happened to Ted's forehead and the Zit from another world?!

"Chloe, we seriously made out last night," I groaned. "How am I gonna tell him after that?"

She didn't waste any time. "Were any other bodily fluids exchanged?"

That brought my head up. "What?"

"Ya know." She made a jacking motion near her mouth and did the tongue thing in her cheek.

I couldn't help it. I covered my face. "Oh my God."

Her giggle afterward almost made me laugh. "Guess what, Cas. You've entered into the world of girl-dom. Eventually you will experience the salty taste of a man's Jimmy Dean."

"Where do you come up with this stuff?" I gasped in exasperation.

"Internet." She leaned in again. "I found a website that tells exactly how to give the perfect B.J."

I let my hands down, freeing my face. "So, have you ever…"

A pixie-like smile danced over her features. "Maybe."

I grabbed her hands before she could get away. "What was it like?"

She looked from side to side to make sure nobody was leaning in or to make sure no hidden microphones were nearby, or something. I mean if there were hidden microphones nearby, how would you know? They're hidden, right?

"He just sat there, frozen, like he didn't know what to do, and then at the end he tensed up and grunted."

I waved that off. "I don't care about what he did. I want to know about you."

Yes, ladies and gentleman, Chloe can blush. She smiled naughtily. "It was… kinda neat. I mean it was like I was in control, ya know? I was the one who made him feel that way and lose control."

"What'd it taste like?"

"Cas!"

"Seriously!"

She rolled her eyes at me. "Well he was kind of, I don't know, clean, but musty? And at the end…" Her eyes got all serious. "If you do it, make darn sure he tells you when he's gonna go. I almost lost it when he did."

"Lost what?"

"My dinner. I choked."

I pulled back. "Oh eww."

Chloe shook her head. "No, it wasn't because it tasted bad. It didn't taste like much actually. But what would you do if you had a hose in your mouth and I decided to turn the water on?"

"Oh… okay. I get it." Then a thought came to me. "Hold on. It was like a hose. Exactly how much do guys… yanno."

She burst into a fit of giggles. "No, it's not a lot, not even a mouthful. It was just surprising that's all."

I leaned back into my chair wondering if I could do that same thing to Ted. What it would be like. Hmm.

"Cas, I see that look."

Oops. "What look?"

She eyed me like she could see straight through me. "That look that Ted's gonna get a little surprise sometime this week."

The warning bell sounded ending lunch. La, la, laaaa. Too bad so sad.

"Cas, don't you do anything until we have a chance to talk about this more." She gave me evil eye. "I'm serious."

With a dramatic sigh I relented. "Okay, Mom."

She grabbed my wrist and kept on with the eye thing. "Promise me."

With a scrunch of my face I answered, "I promise."

Chloe seemed appeased with that answer. Gheeze. I don't see what the big deal is. I mean she did it.

~O~

Inbox: 5 New Emails

Yay! Back to normal!

This whole tutoring thing is a great excuse to use my Blackberry during Study Hall.

Hey Cassidy, I thought we might get together Friday night for a two hour session. I didn't know if you had a date that night or what. I usually go out on Saturdays. Anyway, let me know.

Mark

My insides turned to jelly. Even though he spelled my name wrong, it was totally cool. Visions of bare and lean muscled chests danced through my head. You have a boyfriend, Cas. Dammit, Chloe! Now you're my conscience?! I can still look. I can appreciate the pure yumminess of that which is Mark.

Sigh.

And, I mean, he thought I was cute enough to have a date on Friday. How cool is that! He's obviously a very considerate and well mannered boy. No, he's a man. I mean he has to be almost eighteen if he's not already.

Sigh.

Oh, now I wouldn't mind doing that thing with him at all. I bet he's perfect. He has great skin, and he is in fabulous shape, and he's got the perfect hair! I bet that scutbag Lisa doesn't do it for him. She's all, he's taken. Pfft! I could take care of him better than her, for sure.

Sigh.

Mark emailed me! Yay!

~O~

I was floating around for the rest of school that beautiful Tuesday afternoon. The world was almost perfect. I just had to figure out how to become a girl, a real girl, so I could be a real girl yanno! So I wouldn't have to hide and then I could kiss boys and if I wanted to I could do other things with boys.

Girl, have you gone completely insane boy crazy? Shut up, Chloe! I'm having some fun right now. I know all about reality. I've been living it my entire life. Let me have some fun for a while. La, la, laaaa.

~O~

I picked up the real, flesh and blood (eww), Chloe at lockers, after school, and we hightailed it outta there. WooHoo!

"Would you stop grinning," Chloe laughed. "You look like an idiot."

"Sorry. I'm just having a good day."

"What happened?"

"Mark emailed me."

She should have been happy for me, right? But she got all serious. "Mark? Mark Tanner?"

"Ayup. We're getting together Friday night." I waggled my eyebrows for effect.

She almost, for a split second, looked stunned. Then it all flew away. "Oh, tutoring."

I shrugged good-naturedly. "Who cares. His hotness will be at my house, on my supple leather couch, sitting inches away."

Chloe looked sideways at me. "I thought you said you tutored at the kitchen table?"

"Nope. The table is for work. We're going to be discussing politics. Do you think high heels is too much for political discussion? I was thinking the black spiky ones with the straps."

"Casidhe! It's not a date and Mark Tanner isn't some Sophomore that will just be satisfied with a few ki… Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. You are not thinking what I think you're thinking are you?"

Huh?

"What?"

"You are not thinking that you are going to get him over there and show him some new tricks you've learned that you haven't even learned how to do yet."

I was almost boggled again, but I actually understood that. "Was that English?"

"Don't change the subject!" she snapped. "And don't drive me home. Go to your place. We have some serious talking to do."

No! Don't ruin my day with serious stuff!

Under her steely glare I pouted and drove to my house. I felt like was going to be sent to my room for punishment. Well if Mark Tanner was in my room, it wouldn't be punishment, and I could lock my room and never let him out. Muaahahahaha.

We got in and I shed my backpack on the kitchen table, where Mark and I would not be spending any time. Oh, unless I cooked for him. That's a fabulous idea! Brilliant, Casidhe! I could cook for him and show him how much better I'd be than Skank!Lisa. Then I could turn into a girl and poof, happily ever after.

Chloe went for the big guns right off the bat. "Have you forgotten about Ted?"

…

…

Okay, I'm an ass. I'm lower than low. I'm a really bad girlfriend. I'm not even a girlfriend. I'm an assfriend.

She snuck around to my front and gave me a big hug. Aww, Chloe's the best friend a girl, who was a boy, who's now a girl could ever have.

"Cas, I know it's all fun and new and exciting right now, but you have to look at the big picture every once in a while, you goofy girl."

My eyes were burning. Sniff.

She backed away and took hold of my shoulders. "Now we're going to have the sex talk. I can't believe I'm doing this."

Oh no. "Uh, Chloe. I already know about sex."

She strode over to the fridge. "Uh huh, and that's why you went all porno girl at the thought of having Mark Tanner all to yourself on Friday."

Oh sure, use logic why don't ya.

"I'm sure your Gramps went over all the biological reasons sex happens, and what can happen when you insert Tab A into Slot B, but girl you know nothing about sex."

"What are you looking for? That's the freezer."

She nodded at me. "Uh huh. We can't have this talk without ice cream. It's a rule. It's in the book."

"Bottom shelf. I have some Ben and Jerry's and some…"

"Ohhh, Haagen Daz."

~O~

"See, boys are like little steam engines. You feed them coal or in our case, attention, and they puff away right on down the testosterone tracks. Those tiny tiny hormones make them insane. All they can think about is sex."

I gave her my arched eyebrow look. And having an eyebrow that's already arched, well, I guess you can see how devastating this could be. "Chloe, come on. That's not all they think about."

Shoveling a scoop of ice cream in her mouth she paused to savor the wonderfulness that is Chocolate Chocolate Chip. "Look it up. Teenage boys think about sex like once every two minutes or something. It was a crazy number."

"Chlo…"

"Really, look, try it out when Ted gets here tonight. Give him a kiss and then watch him. It's uber-creepy."

"Uh huh."

We took a quick scoop of ice cream break and then plowed on.

"Now, given that you know this you can't just jump any boy out there. They'll jump you back and won't care a thing about you afterward."

I shook my head. "Ted isn't like that. He cares."

Chloe nodded. "I'm sure he does. Ted's a good guy, but he's still a boy. Now Mark…"

I moved to cut her off. "Mark is sweet. He picked up my sandal and put it on for me."

"Pfft!" Chloe was actually laughing.

"What?"

"Mark Tanner is a player." Before I could come to his defense she cut me off. "He sees this wide-eyed girl all sweet and wholesome…"

"I'm not wholesome."

"And he sees his chance. Just a little gesture like putting on your sandal and you are falling into his arms saying, 'Oh Mark, take me now, you big stud!'"

My spoon fell limp in my hand. "That's not what I said."

"And then when you fall for his big load of B.S. and give him what he wants, which is either A: a B.J. or B: sex, then he's done with you and off telling his friends what an easy lay you are."

~O~

I was disgruntled. How could she turn a simple act straight out of Cinderella into something vile. And to top the whole thing off, I'm all bloated from the ice cream. Blech.

Ding Dong!

Ted's here! With a quick peek through the peep hole I turned even more disgruntled. The TroglaGreene. Can my day get any worse?

I opened the door and let him in while I waved to Ms. Greene. How a nice lady like that gave birth to a mook like Jerry I will never know.

Jerry is a perfect example of why some animals eat their young.

In case you are wondering, I went with my cool blue short shorts today. I don't have any boobs! I have to show off the only assets I have, hello!

Ole Troggy set his backpack on the table and pulled out his work while I returned to the fridge to grab some water. "You want anything, Jerry?"

I heard him mumble something.

"What, I didn't hear you."

"Coke please."

Damn, I hadn't unloaded the twelve pack I bought the other day that I kept at the bottom of the fridge. I bent over at the waist and tore open the pack. One at a time I move them from the bottom to the top shelf, shifting side to side as I did so. I mean it takes some sort of movement doesn't it? When I was finished, I grabbed a Coke for Jerry and turned around. His big poofy black eyes were bugged out, and he spun back to give his attention to his History book, which was currently upside down.

Oh, oops.

Well it wasn't like I was standing there in heels doing it. I swear, honestly, sometimes I forget what I'm doing.

Ding Dong!

Ted's here!

I drop off Jerry's drink and almost skip to the door. Peek. Yep. My boyfriend's here!

I opened the door and he had a goofy smile for me. "Hey baby."

Awww. I'm his baby. "Hey sugar muffin." Okay that didn't really work, but he laughed. I waved at Mrs. Head then closed the door. "I want kisses and I want them now," I whispered.

He didn't disappoint. One hand went to the small of my back and the other to the nape of my neck. The lips… well they went where they are supposed to go. Only thirty seconds later and I dropped back down to the floor. Whoa.

"Thanks, I really needed that."

Ted gave me a toothy… a bracey smile in return. "My pleasure."

I grabbed his hand and led him to the kitchen where I broke away and went to the island while Ted took his seat and started in on his homework for the day. It didn't take long before Ted had a question. He brought his Algebra book over to the counter and slid his hand around my waist while I explained one of the problems. It was really hard to concentrate while he was making little circle motions with his really warm fingers at the base of my spine. After the explanation he tugged my top back in place and I stared dreamily at a book I was supposed to be reading.

Ted finished a little early and he wanted to talk privately in the living room. I checked on Jerry and then followed my boyfriend. Heh. I have a boyfriend.

"Hey, Dad got all suspicious yesterday. I had some of your lipstick on me."

Gasp!

"So he's only giving me two hours."

Oh no! No kisses!

"That's it. I'm going shopping tonight for the super, doesn't come off lipstick."

He grinned at me. "That would probably help." He looked at his watch and frowned. "He'll be here in like two minutes."

I looked around frantically and found a tissue. Scrubbing away at my lips I removed every square millimeter in less than thirty seconds. My lips were red and already slightly swollen when they met Ted's. God, I really liked kissing him. He gave really good lip.

Honk Honk!

Damn!

Ted grabbed his backpack and gave me a last peck before he was out the door. I was going to flip off Mr. Head, but waved instead. That's right, you're killing my love life. Wave, wave.

~O~

Ding Dong!

"Hey babe!"

"Hey Steve, and don't call me babe."

We made our way through Act II of Macbeth, and still had some time left over at the end when I thought I'd make a leap.

"Hey Steve, can I ask you a question without you going all porno on me?"

He gave me a blank stare.

"Nevermind."

That's when he blinked and seemed to come back to reality. "Uh, no, I mean sure. Go ahead."

"You're a Senior, right?"

"Yeah."

He seemed pleased with himself. That wasn't the question, idiot. I rolled my eyes. "Um, do guys… uh, is all guys ever think about is sex?"

Wow, Casidhe can that be anymore grammatically incorrect?

"Oh."

I shook my head. "Nevermind. I'm being stupid."

"Is Head pushing you to have sex with him? If he is I can pound him for you."

Does everyone know I'm dating him? "No, Ted's fine. He's not asking for anything I'm against. It's just a general question."

I've got to give it to Steve. He was actually trying to think.

"Uh, well, yeah, pretty much."

"Really?" I said in disbelief.

"Yeah." Then he tried to explain. "It's not like that's all we think about all the time. There's baseball, and games, and stuff, but yeah sex is up there in the top five."

I'm going for broke here. "Why?"

He guffawed. "Cause it's great!" Realizing that wasn't much of an answer he pushed on. "Okay, you gotta look at it from a guy's perspective. Look at yourself."

I looked down.

"You're all soft and smooth and wearing those really short shorts, which by the way, excellent choice." He gave me a thumbs up. "And you smell nice, and you're all painted up, and you taste good. What's not to like? Guys dig that."

I was trying to wrap all of that up. "So, if I was to stop shaving my legs and gained thirty pounds you wouldn't want to have sex with me?"

He shrugged. "No, I'd still want to, I just wouldn't really like it as much."

"That makes no sense."

He laughed. "I'm a guy, babe. We don't make sense sometimes. Okay, look at it this way. We have a co… uh, you know."

He pointed down to his crotch. "It's called a penis, Steve."

"Right, well, it's really sensitive and it feels really good when it's inside your…"

"Vagina."

"Right. I mean really good. Like winning the championship game good."

He got my arched eyebrow for that one. "Uh huh."

"You think I'm full of shit, don't you?"

You're definitely full of something. "Uh…"

"See this is what chicks don't get." He tried a different tact. "Have you ever felt something so good it felt like your head was gonna explode?"

Well that Haagan Daz was pretty good. "No, not really."

He shrugged. "Well then, you can't understand."

"Are you talking about orgasms, Steve."

His eyes evened out on me. "Yes, I'm talking about orgasms. If you've never had one you can't know what I'm talking about. And I'm not talking about the self-delivered kind either."

I stood there in thought for almost a minute. When Steve fidgeted a little.

"So, you've had sex?"

He didn't boast or put on any airs, he just nodded.

"Which is better, a B.J. or straight sex?"

His jaw almost unhinged. "Uh…" he gave it some thought. "I guess it's apples and oranges. They're both great, but different."

This isn't helping at all, and from the look in Steve's lap he was getting a little turned on by the discussion. Well, okay. A lot turned on.

"Sorry," I offered.

He looked down and then covered up a little. He was pretty smooth about it, not really embarrassed, but still.

"It doesn't take much. I'm in my sexual prime right now."

Was he boasting or something?

"But you can hold yourself back from, I don't know, jumping me right now?"

He nodded. "Well, yeah. I'm not an animal. Sure, I'd like nothing better than to show you exactly what you're missing, but you already made it clear. This is tutoring. No means no."

For as much as a goofball Steve is, he's actually not a bad guy.

"Thanks for being civil, Steve. I know it must be kinda weird talking about sex with me."

He turned into the table and relaxed a little. "No prob. And if you want to find out… yanno."

I giggled a little. "Thank you for the offer. I'll keep you in mind." After a moment I added. "Can you keep this between you and me?"

He almost snorted. "Like anyone would believe me."

I moved in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Steve."

~O~

Seven thirty rolled around and after Steve left… limping slightly, I took off to the Quick Stop to meet with a real life lesbian!

I pulled up into the parking lot and looked around. Sigh. Lesbian hopes down the drain. I killed the engine and went inside anyway. I had a sudden craving for green Monster. Yeah, I cant figure it out either. Green. When I entered I saw a girl standing in the back by the sodas. Ah, maybe my luck wasn't dashed.

Making my way back I scanned the chocolaty goodness. I gave it a frown, knowing that I had my bad treat for the day already. But I grabbed a green Monster and smiled at the cute girl that seemed to find the Pepsi fridge utterly fascinating.

She seemed really nervous, like hands shaking nervous, so I let her off the hook and made the first move.

"Hi, I'm Casidhe."

She almost jumped, it was more of a twitch, really. She held out her hand. "Denise."

"D?"

Her eyes darted to the cashier who wasn't watching anything but the little television on the counter. Denise nodded. After a quick shake we let go and held up my Monster. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Green?"

I shrugged. "It's weird. I know." I looked behind me. "They have orange, purple, and various earthy colors too."

"Orange please."

I grabbed an orange and led her up to the counter. Once we were paid up we went outside and I looked for a bike or whatever.

"I walked."

Oh.

"I can drive us to my house, but I can't drive after eight until my birthday."

Denise hooked her thumbs in her pockets. "I live like five houses down from you."

Excuse me? "How come I've never seen you around?"

I beep beeped the Beetle and we hopped in.

"I haven't really hung out in the neighborhood. I've seen you."

"Yeah?"

She nodded. "I like the new you. It's like total makeover time."

She knew me before I was a girl. I felt the ice forming in my veins.

"I thought you were a boy for the longest time."

I gave her a weak smile. "Uh yeah, Chloe had a lot to do with that."

"Well it looks good on you."

Okay, maybe she really thinks I'm all girl?

We made it back to the house and I invited her in. Unbagging, uh debagging, the Monster's I handed her the orange and popped mine open to take a greedy gulp.

"Come on in the living room."

Denise walked slowly, taking in the sights. "You have a beautiful house."

"Thanks, it, well it was Gramps'."

A sympathetic face dropped over her features. "I heard. I'm so sorry."

I ignored it. I hate it when people say that. But they don't know any better. Denise sat next to me on the couch and found a coaster for her drink. I did too, neat huh?

I decided to get to the meat of the matter. "So, what can I do to help?"

Her eyes widened a little and then she smiled. "Sorry, I've been putting this off for so long, hiding what I am."

I was about to give the everyone's doing it speech, and not to worry when she decided to add to he confession.

"I… would you mind…"

"What?"

"Well, I want to… you know, be sure."

I was stumped. "Sure of what?"

She leaned forward and then paused with her face right in front of me. I froze. I didn't know what to do. If I was a deer I would have been smacked upside the hood of the car. Denise took that as an invitation and moved in.

My body went on cruse control and I just experienced what there was to feel. Her lips were much more softer than Ted's and even softer than Chloe's. I was already used to opening my mouth for Ted that it was second nature to do so for Denise. It was like seeing stars, that was the difference.

Her hands caressed my face and neck. Her fingers drifted up through my hair, and lightly grabbed a little, tugging me in further. It was then that I realized my own hands were holding her at the waist under her cropped tee. Skin against skin.

Then the cloud of fog that was my in my brain lifted. I was about to pull back, but of course that was when Denise ended it and eased back looking me in the eyes to measure my reaction. I don't know what she got out of me, but she pulled back and sat down.

"Sorry. I just, I've really wanted to do that for the last week."

I was still blinking away, trying to make sense of what just happened.
 
Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

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To Be Continued...

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Part 7

My lips still tingled from Denise's kiss. It was like they were lightly dusted with cayenne pepper or something. How's that for a lipstick additive. Guaranteed to make your lovers, hot, hot, hot!

My central nervous system rebooted my brain and my eyes tracked to Denise, sitting on the couch with her leg hitched up underneath and a wary look on her face.

"Maybe I should go." She dropped her head and turned to the side.

What the hell is wrong with me? Snap out of it Casidhe!

"Uh, wait."

Denise looked back up at me with more of a hopeful smile.

"So, are you… uh, sure now?" I asked.

Her voice came out, almost husky. It was definitely breathy. "Oh yeah. I'm very lesbian right now." She paused for a second. "Very."

That made me grin just a little. My eyes kept dropping down to her lips. Her very full lips. I guess that's where the softness comes from.

Boyfriend! Don't forget about Ted!

I blinked. Conscience!Chloe seems to have made an appearance again.

"I have a boyfriend."

She didn't look shocked. What is she staring at. Oh, crap it's my lips she's staring at.

"I know. Ted, right? Ted Head?"

My tongue darted out to moisten my bottom lip. It seemed very dry at that moment. "Yeah, Ted."

"That's okay."

Uh, what? What's okay. "Huh?"

"I don't mind if you have a boyfriend."

Oh God, something happen, please. Because if something doesn't happen then I'm going to be a very bad girl. I'll be back to being an assfriend.

Denise leaned forward again. Testing the waters. My eyes were glued to her lips. Just, just a taste. That wouldn't be so wrong, would it? A bite from the proverbial apple, so to speak. We all know how well that turned out, yeah? I closed my eyes so as to break the spell she seemed to have me under. Again, a very bad move on my part.

I took a tiny breath to speak, to say, hold on a minute, but her lips were on mine, once more. Oh God. I was on my back before I knew it. Her hair curtained around my face, lightly caressing my jaw line. Her body hovered over mine, and then I felt her breasts, much larger than mine, pressing against me.

My body wasn't my own any more. My leg slipped underneath hers and she laid her full weight against me. I could feel her smooth legs sliding along mine and I was in sensory overload. Okay, I totally understand exactly what Steve was talking about. How could you not want this feeling all the time? The thing I couldn't get my mind around was that, it got better? I mean this was just kissing and touching. I couldn't comprehend what it would be like if we were having sex.

Denise's mouth was on my neck and I tilted my head to accommodate her, this girl that I had known for less than thirty minutes. I felt her tongue trailing and the scrape of her teeth against my, apparently very sensitive neck. God, I've got to stop. This isn't right.

"Denise," I breathed.

That only egged her on. I heard her moan deep in her throat. Then I realized where my hands were.

Note to self: If you are trying to disengage while making out with a member of the female sex then don't, I repeat, don't massage their breasts.

I released them, albeit, reluctantly, but I released them. She made a sound of protest and pulled up. Her lips were already swollen and her face was flushed.

"We have to stop."

She moved up and captured my lips again, briefly this time.

"I don't want to stop. You taste so good," she said.

I'm not the only one, sister. "Denise. I have a boyfriend."

Her lips trailed down to my ear. "Does he make you feel like this?" She took my lobe and bit it lightly then trailed her tongue along an upward slope.

Okay, Casidhe. Think.

"I thought you said in your email that you didn't want to hook up."

That seemed to stop her progression. In fact she seemed to stop altogether.

~O~

I stared at the glow of my laptop monitor for what seemed like hours, but was probably only fifteen minutes still trying to process what happened downstairs. My brain seemed to have short-circuited or something. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I was never like this before. Cool, logical, hell, even cynical. That was me, not this sex-starved, boy crazy thing that I seemed to have become.

Well, add girl crazy to that now.

I was constantly licking my lips. I could smell Denise's perfume on me and it was making me… horny. It's the only word I could think of that fit. I craved her. I wanted nothing more than to call her back and continue what we were doing. What causes that?

The only thing I could think of was hormones. But Gramps said that with my injuries I'd lose my natural production of testosterone. And I definitely haven't gone through puberty, or at least nothing that resembles a boy's puberty. I don't have any funky hair growth. I haven't shot up in height. If anything I've grown more feminine. But that was due more to my change in lifestyle than anything else. I mean if I'm shaving my legs and bathing in lavender, and applying lotion to my skin, it's going to make me softer, a little anyways.

No, something's wrong with me biologically, hormonally.

I Googled hormone doctor and got endocrinologist. Okay. That's who I need to see. Opening up a side drawer of the desk I was sitting at I retrieved the list of doctors Gramps left with me. It was a really long list. For every conceivable thing that could go wrong he had a name and phone number, sometimes two. Friends, co-workers, clinics, hospitals. Apparently he had gathered a lot of contacts in his time as a neurosurgeon.

Trailing my finger down the list I found a name to correspond with endocrinologist. I entered the number into my Blackberry and saved it for tomorrow as it was too late to call this evening.

A regular check up probably wouldn't go amiss either, but I'd wait until the appointment with … Dr. Wilma Morris, before anything else.

The next thing that popped into my head was explaining my appearance to Gramps' friends. It wasn't like I could just dress in my boy clothes and waltz up to them. I looked too much like a girl now. Well, they're doctors. I mean they probably have seen dozens of people like me and even if they hadn't then it's a doctor/patient thing. Secrecy and all that.

I'd just go as girl-Casidhe and act like it was no big thing.

At that I thought about it and remembered the name for people that changed sexes. Transsexual. I Googled that and forgot that I had the rating restrictions turned off on my browser.

Oh… eww!

Why is it that there is so much sex on the internet? I tried adding a few qualifiers to the search and found a couple of useful sites that spoke of transitioning from a guy to a girl and vice versa. It spoke of special counselors, gender dysphoria, testing, hormones, and surgeries. Frowning at the amount of time it took to do all of these things, ideally a couple of years, I moved on.

I didn't want to go into counseling. I hated talking about my feelings to total strangers. They pushed them on me when Mom and Dad were blown up and I hated it then. I just wanted people to leave me alone. But it looked as if it were the only way I would be able to get what I wanted done.

I began listing the things I was sure I wanted to do. Lists are always good when you go to the doctor. One: I wanted real breasts. From the brief look at the porn pictures I saw how unreal their breasts were. You could tell they were implants. It was just so fake, and if there was one thing I knew I wanted it was to be as real as possible. Even if they were small they'd be me. The only way that would happen would be if I were taking female hormones.

I knew that the supplements I was currently taking were more along the lines of maintenance drugs mainly so I wouldn't experience massive problems later in life because of my missing male pieces. Gramps took good care of me. I had a running prescription that I picked up every other month or so that wouldn't run out until my next annual check up, which wasn't due until my birthday in April.

Now, my only problem was what to do about my temporary insanity bouts until I could find out what was wrong with me.

~O~

I was distracted all of Wednesday. Nothing the teachers had to say interested me during class. Chloe was busy texting Dave during lunch at which time I made an appointment with the doctor. I was pleasantly surprised to acquire an appointment the next morning, early, like the first one of the day. Someone cancelled or something; I really didn't care, speed was of the essence.

No tutoring for the day, only Ted and Jerry that afternoon. It was all business and Ted had to go right away, once more. Jerry was just as creepy as before, watching everything I did. What made it worse was that his black eyes were now turning yellowish/purple. He was healing. It was still creepy.

Ted was down to a small bandage on his hand and could write much better as a result. There, feel better knowing that?

I hadn't heard anything from Denise today. I was almost nervous about her contacting me. When I closed my eyes I could still feel her lips on me. It was insanely distracting. Every once in a while I would smell her perfume and I'd turn around only to find an empty space where I thought she'd be standing. I felt like I was cursed, or that I was being haunted or something. Maybe I should have said hunted instead.

I can understand the allure of the new girl. I really could. I mean you've grown up all your life with pretty much the same people around you all through school. Then along comes the new girl and there's something different, a new experience. Maybe that's why I seem to be the center of attention. Or maybe this is what everyday High School life is like.

Any way you looked at it I had a new boyfriend, a non-paying job tutoring, a new best friend, and a mysterious girl who supposedly has lived no more than a hundred yards away that I never knew existed until yesterday, and she has the hots for me. I keep waiting for Ryan Seacrest to pop out with the cameras for an interview. Maybe I could write a book, or script to a soap opera or something, As the Crossdresser Churns, what do you think?

I took a long bubble bath and tried my best to relax. Lavender is supposed to be relaxing, right? After checking my legs and touching up the light stubble here and there. I rinsed and lotioned up.

Standing in front of my closet was relaxing in a way. I looked at all of my clothes and it made me feel, I don't know, Zennish? Setting aside my outfit for tomorrow I donned a babydoll and fell asleep.

~O~

"Casidhe O'Connor?"

I looked up from the outdated Elle and nodded to the nurse before grabbing my purse and following her to a sterile looking examination room. I sat on the exam table and squished the butcher paper. My vitals were taken.

Then I waited. I hate waiting at the doctor's office. They never tell you what is going on. Whether the doctor is in the back banging his nurses laughing all the while as their patients are sitting there wondering what's wrong with them. But considering that this particular doctor is a woman, that's probably not happening.

Maybe she was doing her nails?

I hear movement from the door. I know it's the clipboard or folder being removed. A quick knock on the door - like I'm busy or something - and she enters. She pauses and looks at me with a puzzled expression and then back down to the file.

"Casidhe?"

I nod. "Yeah."

She shook her head. "Sorry, typo. It says here that you're male."

I was expecting this so I wasn't all with the attitude. "I am. Sorta."

"Ah."

She pulled up this neat spinning stool and sat. "So what can I do for you today?"

I start off with a question. "Did you know Doctor Connor O'Connor?"

A smile rose to her face. "Yeah, I did my internship with him at Memorial Hospital." Then it clicked. "I take you are his grand…daughter?"

I nodded. Hey I was wearing a skirt and blouse, not to mention the make up. "He had you listed as the Doctor to see if I ever need an Endocrinologist."

She looked suitably impressed. "That's high praise. How is Connor?"

"Dead. Aneurism."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

I shrugged it off. "Anyway. I just thought you ought to know that I'm emancipated. I take care of my own health care issues. Gramps saw to that."

She nodded. "Well then, I assume you provided the proper paperwork to show that to the front."

I nodded.

"Okay then. Down to business."

I gave her a brief history of my medical condition since I was injured in London, and what I had been experiencing recently.

She looked a little puzzled. "What meds are you supplementing with?"

I retrieved my prescription from my purse and handed them over. "I've been taking these for a few years."

Dr. Morris looked at the bottle and the puzzled look returned. After a second or two she opened the bottle and looked inside. She rolled back and tapped one out on the counter.

"Oh my."

I was quick on the draw. "Oh my… what?"

She slid the pill back inside, closed the bottle, and handed them back. "Don't take any more of these."

Then why in the hell did you give them back to me? "What's wrong."

"I see from the date on the prescription that you filled that particular bottle early in December, right?"

I nodded.

"Have you noticed any physical changes? Lost or gained weight in any portions of your body? Nipple sensitivity? Anything at all?"

I shook my head. Nipple sensitivity?

"How about exaggerated emotions. Have you been angry or cried a lot recently?"

I kinda cringed a little. "Um, maybe. I sorta had a little breakdown the other day."

She nodded. "Well the label on that bottle says one thing, but the pills inside are something different."

I was speechless. Imagine me without something to say.

"When did you start your transition."

Uh. "This is my second week."

She nodded thoughtfully. "I assume you're going through counseling?"

"No. Psychiatrists and me don't really get along."

"Hmm. What are your plans?"

Okay this was one I was ready for. "I want to be a girl."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "Because for the first time in my life since my parents death I'm happy. I finally figured out what's been wrong with me."

She nodded in understanding. "Did this start with crossdressing?"

I nodded.

"How long ago?"

I thought about it for a second. "I really don't know. It's been years. Long before my parents were killed, so maybe seven or eight years."

She settled the clipboard in her lap. "Casidhe, I'm going to lay it out for you. You need to see a counselor, someone that specializes in this particular area. After a certain amount of sessions they will either recommend that you proceed with your transition or you realize it's something else you need to work through."

"Doc, I want to be a girl."

"Casidhe, you're fifteen years old."

I pushed myself off of the table and stood. I promised myself that I wasn't going to get angry. "Are you saying you won't help me?"

She shook her head. "Not at all. I'm saying that this is a life altering decision you are making. The pills you are taking are female hormones. That's why you are experiencing these spikes in emotional upheaval." Leaning back in her chair she continued. "You can stop taking them and I could prescribe the proper ones. Everything will go back to the way it was. You haven't been taking them long enough that it really makes any difference."

"Or," I led.

"Or you can go into counseling."

I actually thought about bribing her; I have the money. "That will take too long."

"You can always go the illegal route or go to a different country that cuts corners. But let's just say that you get what you pay for. Sometimes you can even get dead. Hormones are nothing to mess with. One size does not fit all. You can seriously screw up your body if dosage isn't just right."

I thought it over for a second. "So you just need an okay from a psychiatrist and then you can start me on the right procedure?"

She nodded. "It's that simple."

I leaned back on the table as the doctor stood. "I do want to take a little blood and see where you are at, get some baselines, etc. I'll need to contact your primary care doctor and take a look at your file as well."

"Sure," I said without a second thought.

She left. A few minutes later a nurse came in and sucked my blood while I plotted.

~O~

I pulled out the doctor's list from my purse and found a number of psychiatrists specializing in a number of different fields, but none of them really specified, I okay boys changing into girls, so I chose the most general. After making a call I was told I could be seen after lunch for fifteen minutes. I'd take what I could get.

I went shopping at a nearby strip center. No, it's not where people go to take their clothes off for money. It's those collections of little stores and an anchor store like Target or Marshall's. I was so preoccupied that I couldn't even shop.

Taking a different tack I went to a local branch of my bank and made a small withdraw, then to lunch. I thought of all the questions that I would have to answer, all of the past I would have to dredge up. The one thing that I did agree with Gramps about was, the past is the past. I'm a big fan of accepting things and moving on, living in the present, planning for the future.

Well, time to out myself to another complete stranger.

The good thing about the psychiatrist's office? He had updated magazines! The bad thing? They were all self-help, nutrition, yoga... you get the picture. Yawn!

"Casidhe? Dr. Harrison will see you now."

The receptionist pointed to a set of double doors and I grabbed my purse. Dr. Harrison met me at the middle of the room and shook my hand. He indicated a couple of chairs next to a large end table. I noted the extra large box of tissue and smoothed my skirt out before I sat and crossed my legs.

He made a note of the time and then smiled at me. "Now, Casidhe, what brings you here today?"

Best to shoot straight from the hip. "I want to change my sex and I was told I need to go through counseling before I do that. I was recommended to you through my grandfather as a general psychiatrist and thought I'd start with you."

"May I ask who your grandfather is?"

Without missing a beat I offered, "Was, and he was Dr. Connor O'Connor"

I think he finally realized who I was, or at least it finally clicked. "My condolences. I heard Connor died recently."

I'd heard that phrase a lot recently, my condolences. Do you know what it means? It means I feel pity for you. I really hate being pitied, but I nodded. I really didn't want to piss off the person that I would hopefully talk into letting me be a girl.

"So, why, beyond the obvious," he gestured to my outfit, "do you feel that you want to be a girl, Casidhe?"

I shook my head. "I'm already a girl, Doctor. I just need to have my body reflect that."

He didn't laugh, didn't flinch, didn't show any emotion whatsoever. I think that was weird in itself.

"Are you aware of what is involved in the procedure?"

I nodded. "I'm aware of the typical procedure: I would go through counseling. With your approval, I would begin taking certain hormones that would feminize my appearance, I would live a defined amount of time as female, and then I would go through a final surgery to correct my problem."

See, I did my homework. I didn't approve of it. I just wanted to get it over with… yesterday.

He nodded once. "That's a very basic outline, but correct."

"I could go into great detail, if you'd like, but I thought with the restricted amount of time we have today I'd shorten it a little."

Doctors… they don't get my humor.

Opening, what I assume was a calendar, he continued. "I'd say we could start with an hour a week, say next Thursday four o'clock?"

"May I ask you a procedural question, Doctor?"

He looked up and flicked his pen horizontally. "Of course."

"How many hours does something like this normally take?"

He paused in thought for half a second. "Well that would be entirely up to you, Casidhe, but typically anywhere from a few months to a year, depending on certain factors."

That wasn't anywhere near what I needed or wanted.

After a quick calculation I proceeded. "So, basically twelve to fifty-two sessions, barring vacation, etcetra, correct?"

Dr. Harrison shrugged a little. "It's a little more involved than that, but as you say, basically, yes."

I knew he could see me plotting. He was trained to see me plotting. It wasn't like I was trying to hide it anyway. I arrived at the doctor's office with a goal in mind: to show this doctor that I was intelligent, and goal oriented, and that goal was to be a physical girl.

"I have a proposition for you, Doctor."

He seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say next. So, I reached into my purse.

~O~

Money talks, bullshit walks… uh, so don't go messin' with my three lock box… or something like that, I don't know.

~O~

I stopped by school, dropped off a doctor's note and went to class. The rest of the day was smooth sailing.

Meeting up with Chloe after the final bell was somewhat comical.

"I thought you had another breakdown, you asscake. Why didn't you email me?"

Asscake?

"I had doctor things to take care of. Gimmie a break."

She looked concerned straight away. "Is something wrong? You don't look sick."

I took out my prescription and waved it. "Guess what this is?"

"Prozac? Are you on anti-depressants?"

I took a quick look around to check for hidden microphones… hey, it worked for Chloe.

"You know that problem I had, those things that I lost when my parents were killed."

Her eyes flicked to the bottle. "Those are your balls? Ewww!"

Sometimes I really can't tell when Chloe is joking or not. It turns out that this time she was.

"So, what, those are boy pills?"

I shoved them back in my purse as we continued to the Beetle. "Sort of. I can't produce much testosterone, almost nothing, and there are some other things… anyway they're what Gramps called maintenance pills. If I didn't take them then I'd have all sorts of problems when I grow older."

She leaned her head back in understanding. "Ah."

"But in December, when I went to get my refill I got the wrong ones."

Her eyes bugged a little. "You aren't going to grow a horn out of your forehead are you? Tail maybe some little fox ears at the top of your head? Are you going furry?" She stopped and raised a finger. "Oh, and by the way, excellent lawsuit!"

I nodded in agreement. "My thoughts too. And no, no horn or furriness. They're girl pills."

Okay, now her eyes bugged a lot. "Holy crap!" She grabbed me and pulled my blouse out so she could look down at my chest. I smacked at her hands.

"Stop it!"

"Hey, where are the boobies!"

"It doesn’t work like that." I smacked her hands again. "Would you stop it!"

I looked around. Nope, Ryan Seacrest still hasn't popped up, nor was there anyone else that saw, I think. She backed up a little and giggled at me.

"So, you're on birth control pills or something? You were using protection all this time. Huh."

I shook my head in exasperation. "No, they aren't birth control pills. They are female hormones… that I have been taking every day for over a month. That's why I've been all psycho girl."

"Ah, I see." Chloe turned and continued to the car. "It all becomes clear now. So, you're on the right ones now?"

I beeped the Beetle and we jumped inside. "Uh, no, not exactly. I went to see my endocrinologist." At her confused look I added, "A Hormone Doctor."

"Ah, and he's the one that found out that you were growing boobies?"

"Okay, enough with the boobies thing. No boobies, not yet."

I think she took note of the not yet, portion of my statement, I could be wrong.

"What do you mean, not yet?"

I guess I wasn't. "Hopefully by this time, two weeks from now, I'll be taking the real thing, and then you can pester me about growing boobies… dammit, breasts."

"Oh my God! Really?" Her excitement for me came to an abrupt halt. "Hold on. I've already looked this up. Don't you have to go get your head shrunk before they allow you to do that."

I nodded. "That was the other doctor I went to."

Chloe looked a tad bit skeptical. "You're already done? One session? Wow, you are good."

I slammed on the brakes after being cut off by an idiot Senior in his mom's car. I assume it was his mom's car. I mean how many guys that look like they are on the football team drive an eighties model, sky blue, Volvo stationwagon? I flipped him off and continued on. "No, not really. Normally I would have had to go to him for three months to a year. It depends. I kind of made arrangements to do it all over a couple of weeks."

Now Chloe was stymied. "What, how'd you do that."

I grinned. "I'm very very rich."

"Cas, you can't mess around like that. Buying off a doctor? Isn't that against the law?"

I shook my head. "I'm not buying him off. I'm offering him a straight pay, and a bonus for the inconvenience. It's like a hundred dollars a session, over a year, at the outside. So $5200, right?"

She nodded. "What was the bonus? I mean he'd have to reschedule all his patients, and…"

Yeah, I cut her off. I already thought of that stuff. "$10,000 tax free. We're doing the majority of this over the next couple of weekends, so no rescheduling and I take a couple of spots through the week."

She gave me a grimace. "So, you bought him off."

I shook my head and acted insulted, clasping my hand to my chest. "I'm hurt that you would think so little of me." She wasn't buying it. "I didn't buy him off. I accelerated the sessions. There are some thing that can't be rushed, but… look, think of it as going away to a self-help camp for the weekend, except I have my own private doctor. He said he wasn't going to give me a positive decision just because of the money."

"But that doesn't hurt, does it?"

I shrugged. "I want to be a girl, Chloe. If that means I have to cut some corners then I'm cutting corners. I'm not asking him to betray an oath or something. I'm paying for actual counseling and will be receiving actual counseling. It's just a lot of counseling all at once… or over a few weeks anyway."

She pondered that for the rest of the ride home. When we stopped at her house she leaned over and gave me a hug. "I want a blow by blow about what's going on. I don't want you to do something stupid that you're going to regret, Cas."

"I promise."

She gave me a smile and hopped out of the car.

~O~

After homework time we had about fifteen minutes before Mr. Head picked up Ted.

"I've missed you this last week." Isn't Ted a sweetie? "I can't stand not being able to see you during school."

I laid my hand on his chest and relished the feel of being in his arms, even if Jerry was in the kitchen. "It's just one more day and then you're back in school."

Ding Dong! Uh, what the hell?

Since Ted was standing right there I opened the door.

"Hey babe! I'm early today"

Opening the door for Steve I saw him giving Ted the once over, like he was a speck that Steve was about to thump off his shoulder. "Head."

Ted didn't return the… greeting? Instead he stepped back and let Steve though. Before I was able to get back to my boyfriend I heard Ted's dad pull up, dammit!

I grabbed his arm and held him back for a second. "I need to talk to you Saturday night, okay?"

He gave me a confused look. "What's up?"

I pursed my lips and then waved at Mr. Head. "I'm seeing a doctor — about something personal, but I want to talk to you about it."

Now a concerned look dropped over his features. "Is it bad? Are you sick?"

I shook my head. "Not that kind of doctor. I'm not sick. It's more of a… ugh, I don't have time to tell you right now, but it involves you since we're dating."

I walked him out to the sidewalk in front of the house. "Look. I know I'm dropping a bomb on you and I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk."

"You can email me, or call. I can still talk on the phone."

I shook my head. "No, I have to do this in person."

He stopped and moved in front of me putting his back to his dad. "Are you breaking up with me?" He looked kind of scared and a little defensive all in one shot.

I grabbed his shirt and looked up at him. "Ted, I'm not going to break up with you, but after I tell you, you'll might want to break up with me."

Now he looked almost panicked. "I wouldn't do that. Jesus, why did you say anything if you can't tell me?"

"Kiss me."

He looked at me and then back at his dad.

"Ted, kiss me."

I pulled him down and felt his lips touch mine as I closed my eyes. I almost felt my heart breaking, because I knew I had to tell Ted about what was going on. I was afraid of what might happen if we got a little too hot and heavy, and dragging it on forever was a sure way to make the situation a lot worse. If he still wanted to be my boyfriend after that, well then…

~O~

After his tutoring session, Steve waved as he left, but before I had a chance to close the door I heard my name being called.

"Casidhe!"

It was a stage whisper off the side of the house. Sticking my head out the door I saw Denise leaning out and waving at me. A smile tugged at my lips. I know, I'm insane already.

I waved her in. She was wearing a really short mini skirt and low heels, not to mention the cropped cami.

"Are you crazy? It's freezing out there!"

She had a silly smile working before she moved up into me. "Warm me up."

We hugged for a minute. What am I doing?

"I had to see you tonight. I thought we left things kinda weird on Tuesday."

She pulled away and strode to the couch. Her Ash Brown hair swayed a little below her shoulder blades, and my eyes dropped to her butt and legs. Okay, I promise not to tease any more boys if I can just get through this without making things even worse tonight. I seriously didn't know how boys got through the day without jumping every good looking girl they met.

I made a decision to not let things get out of hand and sat in an adjoining lover's chair. It's one of those really wide chairs that isn't really big enough for two people, but too big for one. It was cushy and great for watching movies in if I lay down just right and hang my legs over the side.

Denise frowned a little. "I'm not sorry about what we did."

Okaaay.

"I know you have a boyfriend, and I also know that you just started dating him, but I'm not giving up."

"Denise…" I really didn't know what to say. "We barely know one another."

She nodded in agreement. "I know. But Casidhe, I really want to get to know you. Every time I see you I have these feelings."

Pulling my knees together I tried to think of something to say. "Maybe it's just hormones."

Denise lowered her head and then shook it a little. Her hair curtained around her face, not entirely hiding it from view. "I've been watching you for years." She looked back up like she wanted to take away the last statement. "I mean, I'm not all stalker-girl or anything. I've just seen you out and about whenever you were home with your Gramps. And then more lately at school."

Okay, it was kind of creepy knowing that someone was watching you without you realizing it, but it was also kind of flattering, in a way. The thing was that Denise knew of me before I was girl-Casidhe, and that made it a little easier, I suppose.

"So, why now?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I just got up the courage. I mean I saw you and Chloe at Pizza and well, I knew that if I had a chance with you then I had to come out. I had to actually get past my shyness."

This was suppose to be shy? I'd really hate to see what she was like if she was outgoing.

"I'm taken, for now anyway."

A little crease formed in between her eyes as they furrowed. "For now?"

I wasn't really sure that I should tell her about my problems, but I can let a little leak out. "I'm starting to go to a psychiatrist."

"Because you like girls and guys?"

I shook my head. "No, it's kind of personal. But I can say that it might cause a problem with Ted."

I could see a little light behind her eyes, a glimmer of hope if you will. "So if you two break up…" I could see her visibly catch herself before putting her foot in her mouth. "I mean. If that happens, would you keep me in mind?"

I leaned forward and then got up. Moving over to the couch and sitting next to her I could already feel the heat between us growing. "Denise, the issues I'm dealing with would come between us too — if it came to that."

I could see the denial in her face. "I don't care what it is."

I looked down, but there wasn't really anywhere to look but her legs. I tried to look to the side, but as I've told you before, I have excellent peripheral vision. "You would, trust me."

She bent forward and stuck her head at an angle so she could see my face. "Casidhe, I don't care what it is."

My eyes started to burn and well up. If it were only that easy.

"Hey," she whispered and tugged my head up with a finger underneath my chin.

I couldn't look at her. My eyes darted to the side and I could feel two tears drop down my face. It wasn't a second before Denise moved in to me and pulled me down with her onto the couch. "It's okay."

It was really easy to slide my hand around her waist and feel a measure of warmth and caring, even if it was only for a moment. Here she was, Denise, someone I barely knew, offering me comfort. It made me think that there actually were people that cared about other people and not just for themselves.

After a brief cry I lifted up and wiped at my eyes. I was sure I had raccoon face. "Sorry, I'm probably scaring you right now."

Denise shook her head and smile sweetly. "Us girls have to let it out every once in a while."

A small choke of laughter escaped from my lips. "I wouldn't know, I'm a boy."

No, I have no idea why I said it then. It just came out. And then I realized what I said. I felt the panic gnaw at my stomach and my throat tightened up. Denise's mouth opened a little and her face showed the barest amount of surprise.

"Oh."

She stalled, uncertain of what to do. It looked like a thousand thoughts were running through her head. Her gaze dropped from mine and looked around the room. She stood and walked over to a box of tissues. After grabbing three or four she walked back and handed me the majority.

I blew my nose and wiped a little at my eyes before she scooted closer. "Here, let me."

Denise dabbed at the edges of my eyes and underneath a little before wadding it up and setting it on the table. "Casidhe, I need to know something."

I followed her with my eyes. "What," I croaked.

She leaned in again and kissed me. It wasn't like Wednesday. This time is was slow, and testing before it grew more intense. I felt her gently pushing against me until I leaned back on the couch, again finding myself under her direction, under her power.

Her knee brushed my skirt higher until our legs entwined. I breathed a sigh of relief and need into her mouth as we opened to one another.

Denise's hand trailed down and found mine, moving it up to cup her breast. I almost lost it right there. Acceptance, encouragement. It was almost more than I could ever hope for and it was coming from a girl that barely knew me, or perhaps knew me better than anyone else in the world. It was a toss up.

It must have been about thirty or forty-five minutes later when we untangled ourselves from the confines of the couch. My face was flushed with need and warm from the kisses we shared. My tummy was tight with wanting more of what we had experienced, and it was getting tighter still from the look on her face.

I tried my best to make light of the situation. It was the only way I could act. It was my escape. "Um," my voice was raspy until I cleared it softly. "Find out anything?"

Her eyes dropped to my lips and my neck. "Uh huh."

I was beginning to get a little nervous. "Uh, anything I should know about?"

She smiled a little, showing a tiny bit of her gleaming white and even teeth. "I'm still very much a lesbian and you're no more a boy than I am."

A protesting look appeared on my face. "But…"

She cut me off with a kiss, a soft peck really. "I mean I don't see any boy sitting in front of me. I didn't feel any boy kissing me and touching me like you were."

I couldn't help it. I moved in and grabbed her, burying my face in her neck, holding on for dear life.

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

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To Be Continued...

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Part 8

Waking up the next morning was one of the most wonderful feelings I'd ever had. Normally I'd be grumpy or want to spend more time in bed, but this time I wanted to really meet the day. The sun was shining, but there was still a brisk chill in the air. After my quick shower is when I noticed it in the bathroom mirror.

Two bruises about the size of a quarter on either side of my neck. At first I was confused and thought I'd injured myself somehow, but they were in exactly the same place on both sides, a mirror image. Then it clicked in my tiny brain. Denise had given me two hickeys.

I was thrown back to last night on the couch and the feeling of sweet bliss. Her mouth on my neck, marking me, letting the world know that I was taken, if not by her specifically, then by someone.

Letting the world know. Letting the world know. Letting Ted know!

I had a mix of emotions that ran through me at that moment. I wanted to hide. I wanted to run to Ted and spill everything. I wanted to be forgiven. I want to display them proudly at school. I wanted to cover them up and hope for the best. I'm a coward, I chose the last one. After all, the turtleneck was made for a reason, and today it wasn't for keeping my neck warm, that was just a bonus feature.

Moving about Desmond High School was almost surreal on Friday. Denise was everywhere. I'd be standing at my locker shuffling books, and I'd feel the brush of a hand across my lower back and the scent of familiar feminine musk perfume. Turning my head I'd see her pass by and a quick glance over her shoulder at me. A knowing smile.

At the bottleneck doors I felt another hand on my butt, giving me a firm caress only to turn and see Denise there, looking forward as if nothing was wrong, but then dart her eyes at me and raise one corner of her lips in a sexy smirk.

At lunch, I wanted to tell Chloe everything, confess that I had been bad, that I had betrayed Ted, that my body was humming along in sexual frustration. That my mind was replaying those minutes of exploration and acceptance from the night previous over and over again.

I kept feeling at my throat. Just a light caress to see if I could actually feel Denise's mark's. I couldn't, of course, but still. My imagination was going into overdrive. I was driving myself nuts!

~O~

At Study Hall I checked my Blackberry and found a message from her.

Casidhe — You look beautiful today! I was very happy to see you in that turtleneck knowing what was underneath. I'm not sorry about the hickeys. I'm not sorry about what we did last night. I am sorry that I waited so long to finally meet you. I'm not sorry that your hands were all over my body last night and your beautiful legs were against mine. I just wish we didn't have to stop and that I could have stayed the night with you, woken up beside you.

Maybe we can have a sleepover. I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind me coming over for a girls night. She's still blissfully unaware of my sexual status.

Would you like that Casidhe?

Love
D

Okay, I have one word for that… gulp.

I almost let my thumbs rip across the keyboard in acceptance. There are advantages to being a emancipated minor with your own house. What would you do?

But I owed it to Ted to come clean. I could already see where this was leading. I'd break up with Ted. It was almost a foregone conclusion at this point. Yes, I'm an assfriend. I was being ruled by my hormones, which I was still taking, by the way. (I'm not letting a minute go by where I'm not trying to achieve my goal of being a girl.) My rational brain was taking a vacation, maybe to Moscow or something. I hope it had to walk.

However, I did owe it to Ted to face him first. I screwed up when I accepted his offer to be his girlfriend and not tell him the truth about me. But I was willing to shoulder the blame all on my shoulders and not blame the heat of the moment or the full moon, or Conservatives, or whatever.

It was at this point I chose to not reveal my sexual stasis to him, my holding point between boy and girl. It would only make things worse. I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't reveal the whole truth either. There was no need to make Ted feel horrified on top of being dumped. I'd go out of my way to hype him up to other girls. His reputation had already jumped leaps and bounds over the quiet art geek he was before.

He wouldn't have a hard time finding another girlfriend. A real girlfriend.

Rationalize, Casidhe, rationalize.

I sent Denise a short reply.

D~ I'm going insane thinking about you today. I'm talking to Ted Saturday night. Maybe next Friday or Saturday night would be a good sleepover time. Can we have a pillow fight? I hear they're fun.

Love
Casidhe

What was I doing? After a minute of thought I decided I was skipping the whole brain thing and going with my heart.

~O~

"So, today's the big day?" remarked Chloe as we buckled our seatbelts after school.

"Hmm?"

She gave me a short penetrating look. "Mark Tanner? Baseball god? Remember, you're tutoring him? And since you're on the pill, you could probably do him."

I started the Beetle and really didn't think anything of it. "Yeah, he's coming over at six."

She didn't and most probably couldn't hold back from my lack of giddiness. "Okay, what the hell? You were all bouncy-girl over the mere thought of having him in your house three days ago and now it's, no big deal?"

I gave her a small smile. "I'm over him already. You were right. He's out of my league and it will only lead to trouble."

Chloe turned around and checked the back seat then looked at my chest. She reached over and patted at my breast's. That's when I smacked her hand. She leaned back and gave me an eyebrow. "Just checking to make sure you haven't been taken over by a pod person."

My face scrunched up in reply and I pulled out.

"Mind if I come over and join the homework crew this afternoon?"

I shrugged. It really wouldn't make a difference. "Sure, the more the merrier." A quick glance at the radio clock and I added, "They'll be there in about forty-five minutes so we can have a little girl time until then."

She nodded. "Cool, maybe I can figure out what's up with you."

I looked over at her and then back to the road. Hey, I actually made it through the parking lot without being almost killed!

"What do you mean. I'm fine, I'm me."

I saw Chloe, out of the corner of my eye rummaging through her purse to pull out a lipstick. She dropped the vanity mirror on the sun visor and touched up. "You are most definitely not you today. You've been all jumpy and acting weird."

"I have not." I tried my best to think if I was acting jumpy. Okay, maybe I was.

"Oh, yes you have. And you've been…" She stopped and looked at me. I could see that she was scrutinizing me. I felt like I was under a microscope. "Why are you wearing a turtleneck today? It wasn't that cold this morning."

Oh crap, what the hell? Is she psychic or something.

"Uhh, I was… it was there and I… aw hell."

I gave up and just folded down the neck so she could see the damage. I cast a quick glance her way and saw her eyes light up.

"Cas' got a hickey, Cas' got a hickey," she sang.

My cheeks burned a little in response. "It's not that big of a deal."

"You and Ted get a little hot and heavy last night?"

That's when my face went into full red fury. I sometimes hate having this pale of a complexion. There's no hiding my blush from anyone, ever. "It wasn't from Ted."

"What?"

Making a left onto my street I tried to suppress the heat building to record amounts in my face. "It was from someone else."

Her eyes bugged and she fell back against the door. "Oh my God, not Steve!"

I almost jumped at that, but I did give her a disgusted face. "Eww, no!"

Nancy Drew apparently possessed Chloe at that moment because she had a mystery to solve. "Well if it wasn't Ted, and not Steve, that only leaves…"

"Definitely not the TroglaGreen."

"There's nobody else? Who was it, Cas?"

I shook my head as I turned into the driveway and hit he garage door button. "I can't say. She's not out of the closet yet."

"SHE!?"

At that I pulled into the garage and killed the motor. "I'm bisexual, Chloe. Remember?"

She shook her head to clear the cobwebs. "Oh right, I keep forgetting you weren't born a girl."

A warm feeling filled my chest at that announcement. I set my hand on her leg and gave it a slight rub. "That's the best thing I've heard in last few weeks, Chloe. Thanks."

We barely made it in the back door when she announced that she knew who it was. "It's your Monday girl, what's her name, Joanne!"

I stopped by the fridge and grabbed a Coke. "Nope."

Now Chloe was well and truly frustrated. "GAH!"

I popped the tab on my soda and right when I was about to take a sip it was snagged away. "Hey!"

Chloe gave me a smirk and skipped through the living room and up the stairs. I grabbed another Coke and followed along. I was really hating my jeans at the moment and wanted something airy like a skirt or a mini.

I wound up with a violet Gypsy number and matching sleeveless V-neck to go with it.

"Oh my God, you have two hickeys!"

Crap, I almost forgot. I still hadn't checked myself out in the mirror. I couldn't let Ted see them. After making my way through my accessories I found a wispy scarf that hung past my waist when worn properly. There, perfect!

"Are there any more that I should be aware of?"

I swear, at this rate I was going to have a full on flush the entire afternoon. "No, that's it." I think. I mean I really hadn't checked out my entire body, but I was fairly confident that we didn't go much farther than some serious petting last night.

I kind of stalled and looked at Chloe while she was almost scanning me head to toe.

"Really, no more surprises," I promised.

She waved the issue aside. "I was thinking we need to do something about your breasticles."

Okay that was a new one on me. "What's a breasticle?"

"Your breasts. As in, you need some."

Rolling my eyes I gave a little snort. "I'm not stuffing my bra. It's just so fake. And even when I start going whole hog on hormones it'll take a little while."

Chloe sipped on her Coke and then crossed her legs as she leaned back. "I'm talking about breast prosthetics. You know, like the kind breast cancer survivors wear? I'm sure you can get a pair."

I scrunched my face up in negativity. "Won't it look kind of weird if I show up the next day bouncing around?"

"They come in all shapes and sizes, Cas. You don't have to look like a stripper. Just something to give you a little shape up top."

I wasn't really convinced. "So if I wanted to get something just to fill my A-cups?"

She nodded. "I don't see why not?"

"Huh." Learn something new every day.

"I'm sure we can call a clinic or a doctor's office. Maybe they can tell you where to find a place to buy some."

I shrugged. "I'll call on Monday, or maybe ask my doctor tomorrow."

Ding Dong!

I looked at Chloe and shook my head. "I have no idea. The boys still have almost a half hour before they're going to be here."

I slipped my feet into a pair of sandals and we made our way downstairs. I didn't run this time. Look ma, no gaping head wound!

A quick peek and I cringed, but opened the door anyway. "Hey Ted! You're early."

He entered and I waved at Mrs. Head. Crap!

"Oh, hey Chloe," I heard Ted say from behind me.

"Ted-a-licious. How's it going?"

Tedalicious? Okay. Whatever. I closed the door and turned around giving Ted a quick smile. He leaned in and kissed my cheek. Thank God Chloe was here. I'd feel even worse if I had to push Ted away from a real kiss. It didn't take a few seconds of leering at me in a I'm here early because you freaked me out last night kinda way, before I was feeling incredibly guilty and uncomfortable.

"You don't want to wait 'till tomorrow, do you?" I asked in a really whiny way. I didn't want to do this right now.

He gave me a very small shake of his head.

"I'll go make myself scarce," announced Chloe before escaping to the kitchen.

"Traitor," I whispered.

Ted walked over to the couch and laid his pack down before sitting. "So what's this news that you think I'd dump you over. I gotta say that it must be really bad. I mean anything short of cheating on me…"

He caught my eyes at that last statement and I looked away. God, I can't even make it easy on him, can I?

"Ted…"

I didn't even get anything more out before he cut me off. "That's it, isn't it." He stood and looked at me. "I knew it was too good to be true."

I couldn't lie to him anymore. "Sort of. It's something more than that."

"More!" His voice raised. I could see he was building up a full head of steam.

"Ted, something physically is wrong with me. You wouldn't want to be with me."

He stopped, froze. I could still see he was mad, but now it was tinged with concern. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. I couldn't say anything because my throat was so tight.

He approached me and I stepped back, but I could see the anger had left him almost as fast as it had begun. "Casidhe?"

I had my head bowed in shame, tears were already running down my face. He moved his hand up and tilted my chin along with it.

"Baby, we can work though it. Whatever it is."

I looked in his eyes and I almost believed what he was saying, but it wasn't fair to him. He deserved someone that was going to be faithful to him and I knew I couldn't promise that. Our relationship was not even a week old and I was cheating on him.

"I'm… I'm not a good person, Ted," I blubbered.

He took me in his arms and pulled my head to his chest. "Oh bull."

Ted held me while I cried, but I couldn't take it. I pulled back from him and ripped my scarf off. "There, that's how bad I am. I cheated on you!"

It didn't take him long to see the two marks Denise left. He just stared. I couldn't meet his eyes for the shame so I just stared at the staircase.

He became really calm. I could still see him. Excellent peripheral vision, remember?

"Did you do it because of what's wrong with you, or because you don't love me?"

Christ! What a freaking question! "I… I…"

"Let me make this a very simple question then, Casidhe. Do you love me?"

"It's not that simple, Ted." There, that came out without a blubber-fest. It was still emotional, but what can you do?

"Answer the question. Do you love me?"

The kitchen door opened and Chloe walked out, plain as can be. "Yes, Ted, she loves you. But like she said, it's not that simple."

Ted spun around. "You know about this? Are you the one she's having an affair with."

Chloe shook her head solemnly. "No, I'm one hundred percent heterosexual, Ted. But I did know about it. I found out today just a little while ago, but I've known about Casidhe's medical condition for a bit longer."

He looked at me and then back to Chloe. "She won't tell me what's wrong."

Chloe walked up and lay her hand on his shoulder. "It's best if you don't know."

Ted shrugged off her hand and backed away. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Why can you know and I can't? I'm her boyfriend. I love her!"

"And I," Chloe said thumping her chest lightly, "was the one who discovered what was wrong with her in the first place. That's why I knew. She didn't tell me, I told her, and now she's seeing a doctor that might be able to help."

Oh the tangled web we weave.

Ted was almost in a panic. "Is it cancer? Are you going to die?"

My eyes found his again. "No, nothing like that."

Chloe got my attention and gave me a really stern look.

Dammit. "Ted, I'm asking you, I'm telling you that you don't want to know about this. Please don't make me tell you."

I could see the conflict on his face, but his reasoning skills were out the door. "I'm not a total ass, Casidhe. I can take it."

Chloe moved away and went to get me a tissue.

"Fine, but remember I warned you."

He shoved his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath. "Fine, go ahead. Hit me."

I looked over at Chloe and watched as she nodded.

"I'm physically a boy."

Silence.

He stared at me and then turned to Chloe who nodded. His face was granite. His eyes were the only thing that I could read any emotion off of at all and they were turning bloodshot and glassing over.

Ted didn't say anything, but he turned around and went over to his back pack and sat on the couch. I looked over at Chloe again and she gave me a puzzled, I don't know what the hell he's doing look. He pulled out his sketch book and opened it a few pages in and started tearing them out one by one.

His sketches of me… God, no Ted. My hands went up to my mouth. He must have tore two dozen out by the time he was through, and then he put his pad back in to the pack and zipped it up. My hands were wet with my tears, but I didn't know what to do. I just watched as he found the small trashcan in the room and dropped them in. Without even a final glance at me he opened up the front door and walked out, closing it behind him.

I wanted so bad to run after him, to tell him it was a sick joke, but I knew it wasn't and that made everything all that much worse.

A tissue was pushed into my hand and Chloe wrapped me up from behind. "It'll be okay."

I wiped at my eyes. "No it won't, Chlo. I hurt him bad."

She turned me around and held me until my breathing calmed. "Why don't you go upstairs and clean yourself up. The troll is going to be here any minute."

~O~

I heard the doorbell ring again while I was splashing cold water on my face after scrubbing off my destroyed makeup. I almost ran downstairs to answer it, thinking that it might be Ted coming back to say he understood and forgave me, but then I heard the TroglaGreen's voice.

Moving slothily to my makeup table I made note of my puffy eyes and red nose, and tried my best to repair the damage. I wound up being a little more dramatic than I originally intended, just because I was covering more area than I usually do… puffiness and all.

Maybe I should go Goth? Nah.

About thirty minutes later I dragged myself into the kitchen and grabbed a Coke. I was seriously overdue for my afternoon caffeine. The TroglaGreen's face look even worse, if that was possible. The bruises were all mostly yellow now which gave him a decidedly jaundiced look.

"I heard Head broke up with you… OWW!"

Jerry jerked and grabbed under the table at his shin. Chloe sat to the side pursuing her Grammar book, appearing highly disinterested. He gave her a scathing look and turned back.

"Sorry. I meant that it was his loss, he's an idiot."

My brow furrowed as I tried to figure out what Jerry was getting at. He saw my confusion.

"I mean… you're hot."

Chloe planted her face in her palm and shook her head mildly in disbelief. Jerry saw the movement and looked at Chloe. "What? She is!"

The scene gave me a little bit of relief and I almost felt a little bit better. "Thank you, Jerry." See, I wasn't beyond a little gratitude, even from the socially inept. "Let's get back to homework, okay."

He looked somewhat satisfied and rubbed at his shin again. It was about ten minutes later when we were all sitting at the table thoroughly engrossed in whatever subject we were working on that Jerry had felt a serious need to continue.

"I'm sorry about the lunchroom thing."

I looked up from my books. "What?"

He still had his head down like he was reading. "The spaghetti. I'm sorry about spilling it on you."

I blinked a little. "Okay, um, the past is the past. Apology accepted."

His head tilted a little to the side to look out of his eye at Chloe. I saw his lips thin slightly like he wanted to say something else, or maybe ask something else… oh no. No please.

"Do you maybe want to go see a movie tomorrow night?"

Chloe dropped her pen and tilted her head up to see my reaction. Jerry still had his face planted firmly in his book acting like he was an innocent bystander knowing nothing about what just left his mouth.

Of course my face went red as my blush made itself known.

Me and the Troll. Wouldn't that make Ted's day?

"I don't know if that's a really good idea right now, Jerry."

That brought him up from the depths of homeworkland. "Next weekend?"

He jerked again. "OWW!" Pulling his chair back, he scooted closer to me, away from the pain that was Chloe's boots. "Quit kicking me! She's a free girl."

"And you're an insensitive ass," Chloe shot back.

I moved a little to the side to give Jerry more room and me more breathing space from his advances. But I did set my hand on his for a moment. "Thank you for the offer, Jerry. But I've discovered something about myself…" Oh why not. "I'm a lesbian, or at least bisexual leaning heavily toward…"

I saw Chloe's head jerk to me and shake furiously.

"… girls."

Jerry's mouth dropped open. "Oh God, that is so hot." His eyes dropped to my neck and finally made the connection. "Oh, that's why… right. Well maybe some other time then."

It was an hour later that I walked Jerry to the door. He was holding his backpack in front of his belt rather awkwardly. An hour later and he was still hard from my revelation. Well, apparently I just gave him enough fantasies to last for the next few weeks. Great, Casidhe.

"Well, uh," he began. "Thanks for the tutoring. I'll see you in Homeroom Monday?"

I nodded. "Sure, Jerry." I tried to steer the subject away from dating and lesbians. "You have my email address if you have any questions. I don't mind helping out every now and then."

He showed me a bright smile, and the yellow around his eyes faded a little, I guess from the slight blush that was quickly creeping up on him. On my God, I did not just tell him to email me socially. Casidhe, when will you ever learn to just shut up?

"Great, I'll do that."

Ding Dong!

We both jumped a little and a giggle escaped my mouth before I could catch it. Crap, he's going to think I'm flirting!

Before any more damage could be wrought from my stupidity I answered the door. "Mrs. Greene!"

"Mom," Jerry didn't sound to happy to see her.

"Hello, Casidhe," she glanced at Jerry. "Sweetie, why don't you wait for me in the car."

Okay, what person in their right mind would call the Troll, sweetie?

Jerry gave me a parting, and somewhat bashful smile before departing for the family truckster. Once he was out of range Mrs. Greene held out her hand. I took it and she squeezed firmly.

"I just want to thank you for whatever you did this week. Jerry seems to be a different person." Her smile threatened to rip her mouth at the seams. "He's been studying more and seems very reflective lately."

My forehead bunched up in confusion. "Uh… I don't know if that was me, Mrs. Greene."

She shook her head in denial. "No, I'm quite sure it was you. A mother knows when her son is in love."

Okay, I tried to keep the shock off of my face. I mean really, could you hold a straight face with that kind of revelation.

"Oh don't act so shocked. You are quite the cute young lady, and you are smart. It makes young men want to better themselves to gain your attention."

Alright, what is it with mothers trying to hook their son's up in this neighborhood? First Ted's mom, now Jerry's. I was still speechless and she took it to mean that I was interested or something.

"Well, I better get going. I have to get dinner started for my boys. Thanks again for your help, Casidhe."

I nodded and shut the door as she left. That's when I heard the giggling from behind. Chloe was red-faced, out of breath, and looked like she was having a heart attack.

"Not -- one -- word," I said as I pointed my finger at her and walked back to the kitchen to put my books up. I had everything zipped up and sitting to the side when she came in, still red, but somewhat controlled.

"How do you do it? One week and you've had enough crisis' that take the average person months to experience." I gave her my evil eye in response, but she kept on. "I mean I should start a betting pool to see what happens next. I could make thousands!"

I retrieved my scarf and wrapped it around my neck as I ignored my supposedly best friend.

"What are you doing that for? Secret's out."

"Mark will be here in a little bit and I don't want to give him ideas."

Chloe's eye's widened and she got a silly grin on her face. "Oh God, more drama to come. Come on. What do you think is going to happen tonight? He'll make a move and get shot down? Maybe join you and your mystery woman in a frantic three-way on the stairs? Maybe he'll actually be gay and want your advice how to ask Jerry Green out on a date?!"

Okay, the last one was kind of funny, but very eww. "Out!" I commanded. "I must check my make up and hair," I said haughtily. "I have just enough time to take you home if you want."

Chloe shook her head. "I'm gonna walk. It's warm enough, still. But thanks." She grabbed her backpack and grinned at me before taking off. The bitch. Sigh.

~O~

Ding Dong!

I flipped off the television and got to my feet to answer the door. I was determined not to flirt unknowingly tonight, but the whole thing being unknowing makes it kind of difficult to know what I should know not to do.

I have a confusing and complicated life.

Mark looked gorgeous, of course, but I set that aside as I was not going to cheat again. I had an unofficial girlfriend, but the unofficial status was just a matter of time. I wasn't going to screw this one up as well.

"Hey Casidhe."

I smiled up at him. God he's freaking tall. "Hello, Mark. Ready to get down to it?"

I blinked. Crap. Well there goes that unknowing thing out the window.

He gave me a return grin and nodded. "I was thinking that, well, I haven't eaten and well, maybe we could do this over dinner. My treat."

My empty stomach overrode my common sense, but I stalled in answer.

"Olive Garden?" he offered. "Can't you hear the breadsticks calling your name?"

Bastard! He had to mention the one thing that sent my mouth watering. "Okay, let me get my purse and lock up. Come on in."

I ran upstairs and to get my purse and then downstairs to switch my necessities over from my backpack. I actually froze a little when a handful of stuff included my tampons, but Mark looked away at that moment.

"You have a really nice house."

"Thanks."

He had his hands in his pockets and was looking comfortable enough, like he does this all the time. "Parents working late?"

I shook my head and snapped the purse closed. "Nope, dead parents."

His eyebrows rose a little. "Oh, that sucks."

That brought a little grin to my face. Finally a good response to that personal revelation. It was true. It did suck. He wasn't sorry for something that he had no control over, and he didn't pity me. The situation just sucked.

"Is this your relative's house or something?"

Slinging my purse over my shoulder. "Nope, it's mine. I'm emancipated."

He stalled for a second. "You mean you live here all by yourself? All self supporting and stuff?"

I nodded. "Pretty much, yeah."

"Huh."

Yes, he was a gentleman and opened the car door for me. Mark was the proud owner of 2009 Dodge Viper, in Viper Red. Yes, I almost had an orgasm just sitting in the thing. Yes, Mark's parents must be insanely rich to afford this hundred thousand dollar car for their son. Now I could see why Lisa was so jealous. If she could land Mark as a future husband then her life was set. It still didn't excuse her bitchy-ness, but it was understandable.

We arrived right at the front of the dinner crowd so were lucky enough to be seated within a few minutes while all the rest of the suckers in line had to be tortured by the wonderfulness that is the smell of fresh baked breadsticks.

We had a booth that was secluded enough with cute little imitation Italian glass separating it from other booths and the theme to the godfather playing in the background. I love me some Fettuccini and Pasta Fagiloi soup. Sigh.

With my prompting, Mark whipped out his pocket-sized copy of the Constitution and we perused the way the U.S. Government was set up by the founding fathers. No, I'm not going to go into my interpretation. I tend to keep my political views to myself. Suffice it to say I gave him multiple reasons behind what I though certain passages meant, or why things were done the way they were.

He had a real big problem grasping the concept of the Electoral College. Most people do. He was also stunned at my ability to recite the vast number of Amendments.

"How can you remember all of that. I have to cram hard the night before to even remember my Calculus formulas and once the test is over it goes right out of my brain."

I giggled. "It's the way I learn it. Everyone is different. Some people can just read and memorize, while others have to say it orally while they read. I personally find that if I use all of my senses it really sticks in me."

"Your senses?"

I nodded and pull over the copy. "Look, I can read the cover like this." I sat there quietly and read. "Or I can read and speak the words. 'The Constitution of the United States of America'. That's actually three senses I just used: my eyes, mouth, and ears. If I wanted to add another sense I write."

"Oh, cool. So what works best for you?"

I shrugged. "I'm an oral person. There's nothing like a good mouth."

I froze. Oh my God. I freaking did it again. Mark was a good sport about it and laughed. "I agree."

Okay, four alarm fire! My face just may explode.

"Maybe we should get out of here." Please, say yes. I can't take anymore embarrassment today.

With a snicker he pocketed his receipt and we made our way back to the Viper.

"Watch your skirt," he warned.

I looked down and noticed a little slip of it was hanging out, along the door. "Thanks."

He closed my door and I waited patiently for him to make it around to his. "God, I am such an idiot sometimes."

We were out of the parking lot and back home before I came out of my embarrassed stupor. He pulled up in the driveway and after taking it out of gear turned a little toward me.

"Thanks for going out with me tonight, Casidhe. I had fun."

I fiddled with my purse strap and tried not to look like I really had fun too. "Yeah, it was cool." There I kept it simple. Good girl!

"Maybe we can make this a regular thing." He said it matter-of-factly, not asking my permission, but only my assent. This guy was cool as a cucumber. I nodded. "Okay."

Can I play the nervous little girl out on a date good or what?

Mark held out his hand and I took it for a friendly shake, except he squeezed it just enough to make me think it was something more. I seriously had to get inside before I did something monumentally stupid.

"Night Casidhe."

"Night, thanks again."

I popped open the door and slid out. God that's a really nice car. He waited for me to get the door to the house open and wave before backing out and speeding away.

I did it! I actually made it through the evening without making a total ass of myself. Things were looking up!

WooHoo!

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

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To Be Continued...

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Part 9

I am not going to go into my therapy sessions with you, sorry. There's only so much I'm gonna share with the general public. Besides, I don't think you are prepared for twelve hours of psychiatric babble. Six hours on Saturday and Six on Sunday. I think my brain is half the size it was on Friday. Consider it properly shrunk. Hey, you go through the equivalent of three months of therapy in two days and see if you're any more forthcoming.

Chloe gave me the silent treatment on the way to school Monday morning. Not the bad type, the type that is asking well, spill the beans, I want to know the really juicy stuff, kind of silent treatment. She spent the majority of time just grinning in anticipation of what insanity my life has become in the two days since we last talked.

As I pulled into the school parking lot she couldn't take anymore of my steely resolve not to open my big fat mouth and bubble forth blatherings.

"You suck!"

"What? I didn't do anything!" I replied.

"You haven't called for two days! What happened on your date with Mark? What happened with your mystery girl? Who is your mystery girl? What about the thing with your doctor?" She threw up her hands in mock frustration. "These and other exciting questions wait with unanswered angst by your adoring fans!"

I gave her my best arched eyebrow. "Fans?"

She stilled, but just for a second. "I'm not saying there is or anything, but how would you feel if someone started a Facebook page on you and your adventures?"

I actually dropped my keys after I pulled them out of the ignition. "Chloe… you didn't."

Her hand went right to her chest. "Me, no. I'd never do that to you. I know how much you value your privacy. But you've got to admit, some things are better dealt with out in the open." She shrugged and turned away before opening the door. "I mean some rumors need to be nipped in the bud right away."

She was out of the car a split second right after. I grabbed my keys and backpack before almost falling out of the Beetle in a panicked rush to catch up. "Chloe!"

She stopped at the next row of cars and waited for me to catch up.

"Do I have a Facebook page?"

Chloe adjusted her backpack on her shoulder. "If I had to make an educated guess, I think it's Jerry Greene's."

My stomach clinched. "You're kidding. Please tell me you're kidding."

She shook her head. "I found it last night. Susan emailed me asking if it was you and I checked it out."

Panic started creeping its way through me. "It doesn't… I mean the old me… it's not on there?"

Realization dropped over her face. "Oh no," she assured me. "It's a fan page or whatever."

I'm not an Internet newbie. I know what fan pages are and they usually surround popular people. I am most definitely not popular. "Chlo, I just started school here, I can't be popular."

A sly grin was returned. "You're brand new. Favorite flavor of the week, but whoever it is has a lot of material on you already."

I grabbed her upper arm and stopped our progress to the front doors. "What kind of material."

"Pictures, school schedule, extra-curricular stuff, nothing like address or anything."

"Pictures?"

She nodded. "Cell phone stuff mostly, although there are a couple of really good ones."

"Green," I cursed.

"I said I think it's Jerry. I don't know for sure."

My teeth were starting to grind as I was thinking of how much it would please me to whack him in the nose once more.

"There were only a couple of people that knew you and Ted split, me, Jerry, and Ted."

Still distracted in thought I supplied another name. "Denise knew too." Then I realized what I said.

Chloe's eyes lit up and a grin revealed her teeth, gums, maybe Mount Rushmore, it was so wide. "Denise!" Then everything fell apart in confusion. "Denise who?"

I flushed in shame. "Chloe, you can't say anything. She's not out of the closet."

She bounced on the balls of her feet. "Denise who?!"

That's it. I'm buying a roll of duct tape and sealing my mouth shut. It's the only way to stop the endless amount of trouble it's caused. I mean if it was duct taped shut I'd never been able to say anything to Jerry that day in Homeroom, and Ted would have never had to pound him. I'd never have the chance to kiss Ted, or Denise for that matter.

Chloe's right. She'd make thousands on a betting pool about what disaster would happen next. It was turning into a daily thing! The bad part was that each occurrence was getting worse and worse. Maybe I was cursed.

"I need a computer."

She shook her head. "School's out. They block Facebook."

Blast! Seven more hours until I can even see the damn thing!

We walked into Homeroom and sat while I seethed and plotted very evil plotting things. I thought of finding out where Jerry lived and dumping fifty pound bags of Gravy Train dog food all over his yard the night of a good rain.

Nah, his parents really didn't do anything. Plus, I'd get my hair wet.

Maybe we'd have spaghetti and cheese broccoli for lunch today and I'd spill it on him.

Nah, that's not even original.

All thoughts ran out of my head when I heard his voice out in the hall. I jumped up out of my chair and made my way to the door right when he walked through.

"Hey, Casidhe… Oww!"

I grabbed him by the earlobe and swiveled around to see Mr. Walsh about to get up out of his seat behind the desk. I held up a finger. "We'll be right back. I promise that he won't be bleeding." I turned around and pulled him out with me. "Much."

Right before I released him about ten feet down the hall I dug my thumbnail into his lobe. "What have you been doing on Facebook?" I snapped off in a harsh whisper that spoke of Iron Maidens, Cat-of-nine-tails, The Rack, Thumbscrews, and not the fun kind either.

He stopped rubbing at his ear and he paled. "Uh."

My special X-Men Mutant power was obviously not fiery beams of energy that come from my eyes. If it were, then Jerry would be a smoking crater of ash right then. "Uhhhhh, what, Jerry Greene!"

"It's not bad," he whined. "Honest."

I spotted Mr. Walsh standing at the door to the classroom and grimaced, then leaned in. "Announcing that Ted and I have broken up is somewhat personal. Don't you think?"

He cringed just a little bit. "It's not like people won't find out today."

Something occurred to me and I was about to grab him by the ear again, but he swerved out of the way. "Did you out me?"

He shook his head in quick response. "Nuh-uh. I wouldn't do that."

The warning bell sounded right then and I pointed my finger at him. "Be very careful with what you post, Jerry. You really don't want me as an enemy. I will destroy you so effectively that no girl will ever go near you again."

With a final scathing look I walked back into class. Mr. Walsh stopped me as I passed. "Anything I should know about, Casidhe?"

I frowned and shook my head. "No sir."

Chloe was giving me an inquiring look as I made my way back to my seat. I pursed my lips. "It was him."

She covered her mouth to hide her grin. "You should have seen Mr. Walsh when you fingered him back to his seat. I thought he was going to pout." A light chuckle later brought more wisdom from my friend. "You make High School so much fun, Cas. You really do."

I shook my head as I pulled out my notebook and sat back. I don't know why, but I looked to the side and saw Ted sitting there in his seat, two rows over. He glanced my way with a slightly confused look on his face, like he was trying to figure something out but was failing. I gave him an apologetic smile. I really didn't know what else to do.

~O~

On the way to English I had to make a pit stop at the girls room. Chloe had to stop by her locker so I waved her on. Unlike genetic girls, it is possible for me to urinate all by myself. Maybe I got a pass from the bladder fairy?

After I came out of the stall I slammed on the brakes. Guess who was touching up her lipstick at the sinks? Lisa. I set my backpack on the ground under the sink and washed my hands.

"Hello, little Freshman."

I grabbed a couple of paper towels and dried my hands. I wasn't in the mood, and that may have triggered what I said next. "Hello, idiot upperclassman. I told you before, I'm a Sophomore."

She smiled sweetly. I guess if the sugar was laced with strychnine it would be considered sweet. "Oh, I remember. Just like I remembered to tell you to stay away from Mark."

I didn't even blink.

"Which leads me to wonder why I see a picture of you two in my email when I woke up this morning all cozy at some restaurant."

I shrugged with a silly grin on my face. "Hmm, guess Mark may have wised up and picked someone that wasn't grubbing for his money. Then again we might have been in a tutoring session like you already knew about? Maybe we even behaved like adults and nothing happened beyond studying."

Looks like she was trying for that X-Men eye beam thingy as well. I couldn't let it go. Like I said before, maybe duct tape is the answer to all of my problems. "There's that memory thing again, Lisa. Maybe you ought to try some St. Johns Wart."

The warning bell sounded and I bent over to grab my backpack. I really didn't have time for this crap. That's when she struck, the cowardly bitch. She grabbed the back of my hair and swung me around like a stupid rag doll, right into the closest stall. My balance was totally thrown off as I slammed into the side of the stall. I've got to give it to the little twit, she's quick and nimble.

She had a hold of my hair again. That really hurt, by the way. I was halfway to the toilet when I caught myself with one hand on the bowl and reached back with the other trying to push her away.

Ever been rabbit punched? There's two types: the head blow, which is located between the skull and the first vertebrae, or a blow to the kidney. If used hard enough the first could crack your spine and kill you on the spot, the second could injure your kidney and you could die from internal bleeding fairly quickly. That's why they are illegal in boxing.

I seriously doubted Lisa even knew what a rabbit was, much less a rabbit punch. I got the neck one.

My head bounced off the toilet bowl and I saw stars, which in turn brought me to my knees and ultimately into the water. I didn't even have the sense to struggle, but was held there until the inevitable flush where I received my first and only swirly.

The noise and cold water rushing over my face brought me back from whatever lala land I was visiting and I elbowed backward. The sound of Lisa's breath wooshing outward let me know that I hit her in the solar plexus.

I dropped to my butt because of the water and scrambled to get back up before she came at me again, but she was standing there bent over trying her best to breathe. It wasn't really working. Instead I pushed her into the wall and ripped off her little, 'Lisa Stratford: Student Aide' name tag that she wears, grabbed my bag and headed to the office.

On the way out I pulled my Blackberry and called the police. Screw the school dealing with it. I'm calling in the big guns.

When they answered I went into a measured rant. "My name is Casidhe O'Connor. I'm a student at Desmond High. I was just assaulted by a Senior by the name of Lisa Stratford. I need the police here immediately. I may need medical care too. I'll be in the office."

By the time they got my information I pulled open the door to the office, went in and slammed the name badge on the counter. My heart was pounding and I had a nasty headache starting from the front and back.

"Principal, now."

The uber-cheerful receptionist that greeted me on my first day was all agog. I'm sure her life was an empty pit of cheerful despair until I came along. She grabbed her phone and fumbled at the buttons when Lovely Little Lisa made an appearance.

"She hit me!" the annoying bitch screamed.

I spun and saw her at the door. Her hair was disheveled and then something blinded my left eye. I reached up and wiped it away then looked at my hand. Oh, crap. Blackness started to squeeze in around me and little fireworks started shooting off in my eyes. I gripped her name badge on the counter and dropped to my knees. That's all I really remembered before the hospital.

~O~

A really loud whomp-whomping is what woke me. Before I was even able to move a little voice came through the speaker by my ear. "Casidhe. I need you to stay very still. You're at the hospital right now and we're taking some pictures of your head. So don't move, okay."

My head was pounding worse than any headache I'd ever had before. I groaned a little. I didn't think I could do anything else without throwing up.

After about a billion years later they took me out of the MRI machine and two big burly guys moved me over to a bed on wheels. I knew it had wheels because I immediately got motion sick. I won't really go into the details. You really don't need to know what I had for breakfast.

There was some stupid thing on my neck that held my head in place. Great, apparently my head fell off somewhere at school and someone attempted to glue it back on.

"Chloe? Where's my backpack?"

Don't ask? I was delirious.

The pounding was back again, stronger than ever. So I mercifully passed out again.

~O~

Round two was a little bit better, sorta. I woke up in a nice little private room. The shades were drawn, thankfully. I really don't know if I could take sunlight at this point. I was at a slightly inclined position on the bed. You're wondering about the sorta part?

Remember Sam Sebastian, my lawyer? He's on the top of my To Call in the Event of an Emergency list in my school file. Well he was sitting in the corner with his cell phone glued to his ear sounding supremely pissed off. He was nice enough to keep it to a whisper.

The ache in my head had stopped its pounding and dulled out. I reached up to feel a bandage near my temple at my forehead. That's when he caught sight of me.

"Carrie, I'll have to call you back. Casidhe is awake."

He flicked his thumb on the end button and stashed his phone in his jacket.

"Hey Sam," I rasped. Ugh. "Can I have some water?"

He was already on his feet and beside the bed when he grabbed a miniature pitcher and poured a little in the cup. Securing the lid he twirled the straw toward me and held it to my lips. Ahhhh.

"Thanks."

He nodded and I saw the grim look on his face. "So, when did you grow breasts?"

Oh, did I forget to mention that I am the proud owner of two new artificial breasts? Very realistic. I picked them up Saturday after my meeting with the shrink. They're the stick on kind. I like'um.

"What? No hug?" I countered.

"Casidhe," he warned.

"Long story, Sam. Can I tell it to you later?"

He didn't really look placated, but considering I'm the one in the hospital bed he let it go for the time being.

"How do you feel?"

I closed my eyes and tried to stretch my neck, but it was too sore to really move well.

"Achy. Like someone rabbit punched me, and slammed my head into a toilet."

He nodded. "This classmate of yours, Lisa Stratford?"

"Yeah." As a second thought I asked, "Police come?"

Sam stuffed his hands in his pants pockets. "She spent the day in jail. That call was Carrie letting me know that she made bail."

That made me raise my eyebrows and then immediately regret it. Ouch. "So what's the scoop?"

"Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon upon a minor."

A toilet was a deadly weapon? Oookay.

He saw my confusion. "In this state using anything that causes serious injury on someone is considered a deadly weapon. Plus she's eighteen and a adult, even if she's still in school."

Sweet. Bitch is going down. But with my luck she'll wind up getting probation. Like a month or something stupid.

"What's she likely gonna get?"

He tilted his head to the side a little. "Depends on you really."

At my inquiring look he asked me, "Have you come out publicly about…" He didn't complete the sentence, only gestured at my breasts.

I shook my head.

"Well, I can guarantee that if this goes to trial then it will come out. It won't be admissible because it has nothing to do with the case, but it will come out."

I frowned. "What options do I have?"

He didn't waste any time. "Do you want this to go to trial?"

I didn't know the right thing to do, but I did know that I didn't want my personal life made public no matter what the cost. "No."

He nodded. "Then I would suggest that we make a deal with Lisa that she serve voluntary time in community service, take anger management courses, and pay your medical bills. In return, you'll drop the charges as long as she behaves herself until the statute of limitations runs out. I've already filed a restraining order against her.

It just didn't seem like it was enough. "Fine."

"I thought you'd also like to know that she's been expelled from Desmond."

Ah, much better. I grinned a little. The only person I was worried about making a connection between the male and female me is finally out of my life. Lemons to lemonade, baby.

On to other issues. "How long am I in here for?"

Sam's eyes flipped to my bandage. "You've got yourself a nice little concussion there. They said if you make it through today without a problem then they'll let you go tomorrow morning." Then as a little addendum he added, "Unless you plan on the sex change operation as well. That might take a few more days."

I closed my eyes and cringed.

"Are you seeing a doctor about this?"

I nodded.

"What's he, or she say?"

"He," I offered. "He's pretty well convinced I was meant to be a girl, but I'm still working on him."

Sam gave me a mild snort and then retrieved a chair. "Tell me about this girl that I've apparently missed all of your life?"

~O~

It wasn't until six O'clock that I had any other visitors. The door opened and a light knock sounded.

"Hey girl."

I grabbed the TV remote and lowered the volume. "Hey Chloe."

She looked really worried. "I take it back. I don't want to know what happens next."

After setting her purse down she eased up and gave me a hug. When she pulled back she gave me a weird look and then felt me up. I smacked her hand. "Leave my fake breasts alone."

Chloe ran her hands over her face. "The artificial ones. I thought you'd gone and had it done for real."

That brought a mild chuckle from me. "Ah well, I thought, what the hell, while I was here…"

All I got from her was a mild smile. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "It's a concussion. I'll be out of here tomorrow morning."

I could see the relief on her face. "Cas, the rumor mill was in overdrive today. I've heard everything from you being knifed to you putting the smackdown on Lisa Stratford, and everything in between." She twisted her hands together in a nervous gesture. "I got to the office right after they took you away and saw the blood."

I pointed at my bandage. "Head wound. I guess it was bleeding more than I thought."

"What happened?"

I sighed. "Lisa happened. She got all jealous that I was tutoring Mark. She thought it was more than that and went postal on me. Tried to give me a swirly and I resisted, so she bounced my head off the toilet."

Throughout the short tale Chloe's mouth opened further and further until the end. Then her face went red. "I'll kill her," she whispered. I could tell that she wasn't serious. Maybe a little payback was in order, but by her tone she was more in disbelief than anything.

"That explains the police being there. They are going to put her away for this right?"

I shook my head. "I can't chance it getting out about me. But Sam has plans for her. She won't do any jail time, but she'll pay." Then I gave her a wide smile. "And on the plus side, they kicked her butt out of school."

Chloe's eyes went wide. "Permanently?"

"Ayup."

"Excellent!"

Another soft knock on the door revealed someone I'd never seen before. He wheeled in a cart full of flowers. "Hi Casidhe. Delivery for you."

Chloe ran around to the other side of the bed and helped the delivery guy pull vases off the cart.

"How many…"

"All of them," the guy replied.

"Who…"

"They have cards."

Okay, would I get a chance to actually complete a single sentence here?

Chloe was pulling cards, in order, so I wouldn't get them mixed up. There were several vases and a couple of potted plants that lined the window sill. Yes, flowers make you feel good. I felt like I was loved!

The Faculty of Desmond High: Get well, we miss you!

That was nice.

Mr. Walsh: Get well, I can't run this place without you.

Giggle.

Mark: I heard. I'm, sorry. She's an idiot and gone. Get well. I won't know what to do without you to get me through Poly Sci.

Mark's had an actual get well card with little flowers on it. His arrangement was obviously the most expensive as well. I know what exotic flowers cost in the middle of winter. Not to mention the teddy bear that was attached. Chloe untied it and laid it on the pillow next to me. She's silly that way.

Five of these people I didn't even know. Then I got to someone that I wasn't expecting.

Ted: I hope you are feeling better. I was upset when I found out what happened. I'll find out what's going on from Chloe. I want to see you. I miss you.

I passed the card to Chloe and she nodded. "Ted freaked when he found out. His mom had to come get him." She shrugged. "My mom had to come get me too."

I reached out and took her hand. "Chloe." My voice was barely audible.

She reached in again and hugged me tight. "Don't you do this to me again, Cas. I couldn't take it if you disappeared from my life." She choked a little on a sob. "I just got to know you and poof off you go to the hospital."

~O~

I scooched over and made room for Chloe and we chatted for the longest time about all the rumors while she played with Mr. Poodles the Bear. She named him, I didn't. Want to know something? I think Mark spritzed Mr. Poodles the Bear with some of his cologne, because I don't think that companies did that with stuffed bears. It smelled really good, so I didn't mind at all.

About seven I received another visitor.

Denise came in and shyly noted Chloe in bed with me. Of course Chloe was happy as a clam to finally see who the mysterious girl was that like to leave hickies on my neck.

"You have got to be Denise." She hopped up and patted the bed beside me. "I've kept your place nice and warm for you."

My semi-girlfriend blushed from head to toe. "Thanks."

With a measured look she found her way around the bed, gave me a hug, and then with a final glance back at Chloe she kissed me. It was just as soft as I remembered, which made me warm, fuzzy and tingly all in one moment.

With a very happy grin Chloe excused herself with a Coke run excuse to give us a little time alone. Denise looked at my bandage with a worried expression. "How are you feeling, sweetie?"

I leaned up and kissed her again. "Tons better now that you're here."

That brought a smile to her face. "I was so worried about you. Mom, wouldn't bring me up here until after dinner. So she's at the top of my shit list right now."

I giggled a little at that. I watched her eyes as they dropped to my chest and then back up to my shoulders. Her brow crinkled a little as she was trying to work out what was different about me. I took her hand and placed it on my breast. You should have seen her eyes.

"Oh my god, you've got breasts!" she said in an excited whisper. Her eyes flicked to mine in wonder. "Did they do that here?"

I shook my head trying not to laugh. She was so happy for me, after all. "They're not part of me yet. They're the same kind they give to women that have to have them removed."

Understanding fell over her face. "Ahhh. Well I love them. They feel so real."

"Well, hopefully in a few months I'll have some of my own."

She looked hopeful. "Therapy going good then?"

I nodded, and then watched as she got kind of quiet.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I fingered a strand of hair behind her ear.

She shrugged a little as she laced her fingers through mine. "I want to come out. I want the whole world to know how I feel about you."

I hitched a little in my chest.

"I nearly went crazy in class today when I heard about what happened and everyone was wondering why I was upset." She paused for a second and then looked me in the eye. "Right then I knew it didn't matter what people thought about me liking girls."

She leaned down and kissed me so softly again, but stuck around, close in. "Do you care?"

I felt my face relax and my body vibrate with need at having her so close. "I do." But before she misunderstood I also added, "I want them to know that I'm a lesbian too. Think you might be up to helping me a little with that?"

Denise actually shivered at that. "I want you to be my girlfriend, Casidhe."

"Only if you kiss me."

She smiled seductively at me. "Deal."

We sealed the deal for a couple of minutes and Denise leaned back to look at my left hand. She took off one of her rings on her right hand and slipped it over my ring finger. "There. You're mine now. I've got another just like it and we can match."

I was grinning like an idiot. "Does this mean that you're taking the more masculine role in our relationship?"

She nodded without a second thought. "Yeah, I mean you're way too girlie. I'm taller, and you'll fit just right under my arm."

I giggled. "Sounds perfect to me."

Chloe, as always had perfect timing. I flashed my new ring at her. "Look we got married while you were gone."

My best friend stopped and looked stunned, just for a second, before rolling her eyes. "I said no more surprises, Cas. Don't even think about getting married without me right beside you. I claim Maid of Honor privileges."

She sidled up beside me and gave me a hug, and a Coke! I told you she was my best friend. She held out her hand to Denise. "I'm Chloe."

My girlfriend took her hand in return. "Denise."

Then Chloe leaned in and hugged her. "I'm happy for you two."

I could see Denise relax into her embrace and then pat her back. "Thanks."

Seven-thirty rolled around and the nurse kicked my girls out. *pout* Chloe left me in charge of Mr. Poodles the Bear, and I actually had really nice dreams. Nice dreams filled with me dressed in a very frilly white gown, with Chloe standing by holding my hand being very happy for me.

I remember the scene switching to the bedroom where I was dressed in a white corset and stockings with matching heels, and Denise coming into the bedroom wearing a dressing robe and looking very sexy. I closed my eyes and felt her get into bed to make me feel like a natural woman.

Then I opened my eyes and something was all wrong. It was still Denise's head, but it was Mark's body, and that was right as she/he sank into me.

I woke in the middle of the night breathing kind of hard.

"Okay, I'm sure that dream didn't mean anything awkward."

~O~

When your doctor says that you're going to be released the next morning, what he really means is at 11:59 a.m. he'll start the release paperwork. You'll actually be lucky to leave by three. Sam came by and gave me and my bazillions of flowers a ride back to the house. I was really curious as to how the Beetle made it back to the garage, but didn't look a gift horse in the butt. Who cares what its mouth looks like. It's that butt you have to be careful of.

After making sure I was settled, I received a nice hug, and was told to take it easy for the rest of the day.

I immediately went upstairs and pulled the bandage off to see a knot on my head topped of with two stitches right at the hairline. I replaced it with a big band-aid and made sure it was secured so that I could wash my hair.

I really hate going a day without a bath. I just feel icky when I do that. Not to mention that I'm sure I smelled like toilet water.

After shaving my legs and underarms I almost felt normal again while I soaked away the last two days.

~O~

At 5:15 the phone rang. I check the caller ID. It was Steve. Tutoring. I had forgotten. Which reminded me to call Joanne and set up an alternate time to do hers during the week.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe! You alive?"

"Hello, Steve. No, Lisa didn't kill me. Just a couple of stitches."

"No shit?"

"I shit you not." Wasn't that a pleasant mental image?

"Are we on for tonight or do you want to do it another time?"

What the hell. It really didn't make a difference. "Sure, come on over."

"Cool, I'll be a couple of minutes late. I got to change."

"That's fine." I needed to change too. I didn't really think Steve should see me in my satin pj's.

"Oh, hey. Hold on, Mark wants to say something."

Hmm.

"Casidhe?"

Damn, he sounded like a freaking god over the phone. Luckily I have a new steady girlfriend, so it didn't affect me in any way, shape, or form.

"Hi, Mark. Thanks for the flowers they are beautiful. Oh, and the bear and the card too. It was very thoughtful."

He chuckled. "It was my pleasure. How are you feeling?"

I shrugged. Yeah I know he couldn't see it. It's a reflex. "A little headachy, but I'm good."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. You had a lot of us worried. I saw them load you up in the ambulance yesterday."

"It wasn't my proudest moment."

He laughed good naturedly. "It was a proud moment for me. You opened my eyes to what a psycho bitch I was dating. Thanks for that."

I grinned. "That was my good deed for yesterday. I'm a Girl Scout at heart."

The air between up was silent for a moment, like Mark was contemplating something. "Would you mind if I came over a little later to talk."

"What about?" It just came out of my mouth. I have no idea why.

"Nothing earth-shattering." He chuckled. "I promise to be good. I know you just got out of the hospital."

Okay, now I was giggling. "Alright, but fair warning, I'm still achy from yesterday and I'm not going to look my best."

"Oh really?" He sounded concerned. "What hurts?"

I wondered if he had a pencil and paper. "Uh, knees, thighs, arms, are just sore. My neck is still stiff and I have a knot on my head the size of a walnut."

"Ouch." He thought for a second. "I'll bring something that might make you feel better."

"Thanks for the thought, Mark, but I've got some nice prescriptions from the doctor."

A bark of laughter followed. "Not drugs. Trust me. You'll thank me later."

I heard Steve in the background. "Dude, quit flirting with my tutor and give me my phone. I gotta bolt."

I giggled. "Tell Steve to mind his own business."

"See you about seven?" Mark asked.

"Sure. Bye Mark."

~O~

Steve wasn't pleased with the ending of Macbeth. "Why is it that the lead character always dies in these things?"

"That's Shakespeare for ya." I leaned back on the couch, stretched my arms, and propped my bare feet on the coffee table. "There are two kinds of plays he writes. Comedies and Tragedies. Comedies are when the lead actually lives."

"They were weird back then."

I nodded. "Just like we'll be weird a few hundred years from now. I mean can you see some future generation finding a Paris Hilton movie collection and confusing it with the prose of this time?"

He took offense. "Hey, Paris is hot."

I laughed at that. "She's a twig! Brain and body alike. You just like her because she gives head and posts it on the internet."

Steve's eyes bugged then he thought about it. "Well, yeah. So?"

It was already 6:45 I noticed by the wall clock. "Get out of here, nutball. Go have your girlfriend relieve some pressure or something."

He tossed his book in his backpack. "You're pretty cool, Casidhe."

I waved my toes at him. "Bye, Steve."

I went and took my evening medicine, antibiotics and pain reliever. That's when the doorbell rang. Stopping at the mirror to check my hair I straightened a turned strap on my cami, and twisted my short shorts a little so they were on straight. There's no need in scaring the poor boy. Then I made my way to the door.

Upon opening it wide for him he passed me a single white rose. "For you."

I don't care how many flowers I receive, I always smile when I see more. "Thank you, Mark. That was sweet." White means purity, like me.

Quit laughing.

He checked out the living room again and then the big gigantic coffee table in front of the couch. I gave him an inquiring look. He pointed at the couch and put his hand on the small of my back.

"Have a seat and put your feet up."

I did as instructed and gave him a curious grin at the same time as I tried to figure out what he was up to. He sat down on the coffee table, with my feet between his legs, and set a paper bag next to him.

"What are you up to?"

He pulled out a box and inside the box was a flexible bag filled with red gel. Mark bent it in half and sloshed the jell around inside. "Put this on your neck where it hurts."

Oh, it was very warm. Cool! I leaned forward and set it to were I was comfortable then leaned back again. While he sorted a tall bottle of something. He pulled out a hand towel and set it to the side and then poured something in his hand from the bottle.

I almost jumped when he picked up my right foot and started rubbing it. He spread the gel around my foot and up my calf as he dug his thumb under the arch of my foot.

I instantly turned to pudding. He knew exactly the right buttons to press to make me utter weird girlie noises from somewhere deep inside.

Eventually he worked his way upward to my calves. I hadn't really realized how good a massage feels. He was halfway up my thighs when I realized my eyes were closed and I snapped them open.

I know I jerked a little bit, because he was on his knees in front of me, between my legs. His attention was totally on my right thigh when he felt the jerk. He froze and looked up at me.

"Uh, sorry. Maybe it's just a little too personal in that area."

God, I couldn't tell if he was actually just trying to make me feel good or if her was going for broke because he was psycho free.

He slid back on the table and patted in front of him. "Turn around and sit here. I'll do your neck."

Okay. If it wasn't so sore I'd probably call an end to the evening, but I really wanted a neck rub. I followed his instruction. He lubed up his hands and was about to put them on my neck when I stopped him.

"Hold on." I moved my straps off the shoulder and tugged my back down a little. "I don't want to stain my cami. It's new."

"I'll be careful."

Magic hands did their stuff and I went back to moaning as he worked around the knots in my upper back and neck.

"You have beautiful skin, Casidhe. I thought all redheads were supposed to be loaded down with freckles."

I shook my head slightly. "I have to take special care when I go out in the sun. I do have a few on my face, but not nearly as bad as I've seen on some people."

He measured down on the pressure he was using, and just ran his fingertips down my spine sending a shiver right back up.

"How does that feel now."

"Nice. Thank you. I'm gonna sleep like a baby tonight."

I stood and took his wrist. "I'll show you where you can wash up."

In my bare feet, Mark was even taller. There was no doubt that standing beside him made feel very much like a real girl. I led him into the downstairs bathroom, and then leaned on the door jamb while he washed his hands. I compared everything I saw against him. His hands were almost twice as big as mine, and his arms were firm, muscled, but not bulky. Shapely I think would be a better word.

It was then that I noticed that he didn't have any hair on his arms. He was wearing jeans, so I couldn't tell if his legs were shaved or not.

"Like what you see?"

Oh my god! I must have looked like I was seriously checking him out. My hand went to my mouth and I blushed hotly. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to… I wasn't…"

He laughed lightheartedly. "It's okay. Guys do it too."

"Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed, Mark." I backed away and wasn't watching where I was going. There's an umbrella stand I set by the bathroom with Gramps' selection of canes he used before he died. I lost my footing, but Mark lunged forward and slipped his arm around my back, catching me before I fell.

Don't they write this sort of scene in romantic movies? The beautiful girl slips and falls, and the hunky hero catches her, they gaze into each others eyes and kiss, fall deeply in love, and have babies?

Well there was so much wrong with that scenario I really didn't want to go into it.

However he did catch me. I grabbed onto his upper arms and yes they were just as firm as they looked. I did look up, and he gazed into my eyes. But then he straightened me out and bent down to pick up the fallen umbrella stand.

"Thanks," I said. "You just saved me another trip to the hospital."

He was bent at one knee and his head was level with my belly, which was currently showing because my cami was riding up after the save. His eyes flicked to my navel and he smiled. "No belly ring?"

My hand went to the cami and I pulled it down. "Sorry, never really had the chance."

After setting the stand right he looked up at me. "You should think about it. They're very sexy."

I swallowed. "Okay." Your stupid IQ is dropping Casidhe!

I turned and made a hasty retreat. "I have a girlfriend."

I stopped in the middle of the living room and spun around. Mark looked at me, kind of shocked, but not the appalled kind of shock. "Oh, okay."

He walked over to the coffee table and picked up his lotion, stuffed it into the bag.

"Mark, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on."

He shook his head. "Hey, it's no big thing. It's okay to be lesbian."

I shrugged a little. "Bisexual really."

He stopped and looked at me. "So if I wasn't so late in getting to you…"

I nodded. Maybe I did it to make him feel better, but I knew better. Oh yeah, I would have been all over him.

His confidence seemed to come back. "Well then. Maybe we'll see later on in the year. Let me know?"

I stepped over to him and went up on the balls of my feet to reach his cheek for a nice platonic kiss. "Thank you, Mark. You really make a girl feel special."

His face kind of reddened a little. "Well I better be going then."

I escorted him to the door, but at the last second he turned around and with the quickest moves I've probably ever seen, he wrapped one hand to the small of my back and the other bracing my neck, spun me around and did the whole romantic leaned back kiss thing.

Before I knew it I was returned to my feet and blinking away the shock.

"Sorry, I just wanted to give you something to think about."

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

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To Be Continued...

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Part 10

Being officially on female hormones for eleven weeks, and unofficially the wrong type of hormones for an additional nine weeks, tends to have an effect on the male body.

…
…

What?

You want to know what's been going on for the last twelve weeks? In a couple of words, not much. I went back to school a couple days after the fight. Denise and I outted ourselves to the world. The result? A few eye-rolls, some freshmen boy giggling, and that's about it. The world didn't end. Nobody got beat up, raped, overly insulted, or whatever else psycho people do to gay people.

It was very anti-climatic. Quit being all disappointed. I have enough drama in my life as it is. Sometimes life is just life. Boring. So you don't get to hear about the last three times I went to get my nails done, and you definitely aren't going to hear about my visits to the girls room. Sorry to burst your bubble.

I will tell you that the Spring Fling is coming up on Saturday and Denise is taking me. I have a really nice Christophe Balmain Barbie Dress. I know, $3000, but it's freaking perfect: all form fitting, asymmetrical strappy goodness. Not to mention what it does for my legs, all but an inch on display, with layers of wavy chiffon putting them on display. Emerald Green. Preen!!! I have to wear some massively high strappy heels, but it's more than worth the danger.

Even with the five inch heels I'm still not as tall as Denise. I swear the girl is a mutant, but she's my mutant. We got her a tuxedo. No, she's not gone all butch. She's got a frilly white blouse and a trim tux jacket but cut hard at the waist that blows out into a billowy skirt. She went easy on me and stayed with two inch heels. I fit perfectly in her arms. We've been practicing dancing in the heels. I really don't want to make a fool of myself, and she needs practice leading.

Now, back to what I was saying before. The Hitleresque therapist finally gave the thumbs up for me to start hormones eleven weeks ago. I think my butt increased size overnight from the size of the needles the endo-doctor stuck in there. I swear it was about four gallons of sweet femaleness that was injected. I bore through the pain, and reminded myself that I asked for this. I really hate needles.

So my breasts grew to C-cups in about a week… I wish. I am the proud owner of a pair of overly sensitive nipple-nubs. So much for the transition stories I found online. But guess what dear psycho readers: they're mine! Muahhahahaha!

Yes, I performed the proper celebratory dance of the pre-teen girl, also known as the happy Snoopy dance, when I first noticed growth. I don't care that they're small. I've started the move to being a real girl!

…
…

Yes, Ted and I have made up. Don't you want to hear more about the changes my body has gone under?

…
…

Fine. (pout)

I received a very heartfelt hug when I returned to school. There. See attached raspberry: -----> Phffft!

That's it, no more drama. Mark went off and got himself another girlfriend, who by strange coincidence is a redhead, short and has a wedge cut. Chloe is being escorted by none other than Chris Peterson. Don't worry you haven't missed anything. Chris is amazingly dull, but he worships Chloe and she thinks he's the bee's knees, or something equally nauseatingly cute. I seriously doubt bee's have knees. Where's my Google when I really need it!

Let it be known that nobody and I seriously mean nobody is a cuter couple than Denise and I. It boggles the mind to even contemplate the utter cuteness of us, am I right, or am I right?

~O~

"Cas, will you please get that goofy grin off your face. I'm trying to eat."

Chloe, for some reason, doesn't agree with me. My grin spread even wider.

"Ugh."

Ted has to stick his braceless opinion in the mix. "She's in love, Chloe. Give her a break."

I shield my eyes away from the glare of his perfectly straight polished teeth. I swear it's like looking into the sun sometimes, and he loves to show absolutely everyone. Ted is like night and day now. He apparently found the advantage of using Proactiv. Now his acne is well under control and he has no braces. I swear it's like he took off the geek!Ted suit.

Wanna know the freaky part? Ted's got a boyfriend. Boy can't make up his mind! And no, I see absolutely no irony in that statement.

"Chlo, remember we've got the three-thirty…"

"At the nail salon. Yes, Cas, I'm well aware."

I finally realized something. "Oh, no." I cringe. I set my hand on hers. "I'm so sorry."

Chloe deflates and rolls her eyes when she knows that I know she's OTR — just in time for the Spring Fling.

"What?" asks the clueless Ted.

I sigh with much empathy. "Chloe's aunt flow is visiting this weekend."

"Casidhe!"

"Ooops, sorry." I shrug. "Ted's a big boy. He knows the score."

Come on Ted, don't let me down now.

"I don't get it. Does her aunt want her to stay home or something?"

Ted, you poor bastard. It's a really good thing you are exploring your inner gayness at the moment.

"Yes, Ted." I say with just a hint of condescension. I toss one of my French-fry molded sticks of grease at him. "Her aunt flow makes Chloe all bloated so her dress doesn't fit right."

My best friend in the world just surrenders. "I'm on the rag, Ted. My period started this morning."

"Oh."

Ah, it's so nice to see Ted blushing again. Just like old times. "Well, look on the bright side. You're not pregnant," I offer.

That got me the burning Satan eyes. Chloe actually 'has' the X-Men mutant power that I so richly crave, but she holds off from turning me into a pile of ash, just barely.

"I would have to be having sex for that to happen," she counters.

I giggle, just a little. "Your point being?"

Ruby red twin beams of destructive power lance out and obliterate my human body. Okay, not really.

"Once, I had sex once. Two months ago and as of this morning, two periods ago."

"See," I point out. "Dodged a bullet."

"I hate you."

I know she doesn't mean it. She's my best friend after all. "Tell you what. How about I spring for an herbal wrap at the salon?"

Her eyes glass over immediately, and she lunges for me. "Cas, you are the absolute bestest friend in the world."

A very short cry later Chloe pulls back and grabs her napkin to dab at her eyes.

"Girls are really weird," Ted proclaims before he sips on his two percent milk.

"So says the girlie boy," I sing-song.

"I am 'not' a girlie boy."

I lay my hand on his to pat it lightly. "Baby, you cannot tell me that Craig is the girl in your relationship."

In case you're wondering Craig Smith is Ted's boyfriend, much to the displeasure of the cheer squad, the drill team, most of the heterosexual girls at the school, you get the idea. Craig's hot.

Ted's eyes flutter in annoyance. "We're guys Casidhe. We both do guy things."

"Uh huh," I agree too readily. "Who's on the bottom when you make out? Who straddles whom on the living room couch?" At his increasing redness I go for the throat. "You forget who had to stop you two, last weekend, from consummating your relationship in my hot tub, hello!"

"Eww Ted, really?" Chloe complains. "I use that hot tub too!"

"We were not… oh forget it."

Ted surrenders throwing his hands up in the air.

"I said you could use the guest bedroom. Just make sure you wash the sheets after." I point at him seriously. "And make sure to use protection, young man."

Ah, speak of the devil. I spot Craig sneak up and plant a ninja kiss on Ted's cheek. "Hi sweetie."

Yeah, Ted's not the girl. Whatever!

~O~

I have no idea how I'm suppose to function with 'elegant-length' nails. Wolverine eat your heart out, baby. The closest they could come to Emerald Green nail polish was 'Suvi'. What the heck is a Suvi?

I feel like putting on gloves so that I don't accidentally chip them, but Chloe talked me into buying a bottle for emergencies. I'll take her word for it. This is my first formal as a girl.

Chloe goes off for her herbal wrap and I experience my first waxing. It was a very interesting experience. I really didn't have a problem until she got to my inner thighs. Then I think people in downtown Hong Kong heard me — during rush hour. I've had dental appointments that weren't as brutal. Definitely getting drunk next time I do this.

Once I got washed off and lotioned down I was merely whimpering, but my arms and legs were never so smooth.

~O~

"You're glowing," Mark noticed when he entered the house for his tutoring session.

I look at my arms. They were still a little red from the waxing. The specialist assured me they would be clear by the next morning, but for right now it looks like a have a weird sunburn.

"I got waxed." I hold my arm up for inspection. "Here feel."

He rubbed his fingertips along my forearm. "Nice. If you can afford it I highly suggest laser hair removal. Save yourself the pain of doing it all the time."

After all this time I finally have an excuse to ask him! "Is that what you had done?"

He nodded almost proudly and put his arm against mine. I gave it an appreciative rub. "Very nice. Legs too?"

He walked over to the couch and sat down, sitting his bag to the side and hiked up his jeans.

Okay, that's damn sexy. "You should wear shorts."

He shrugged. "I do, at home."

After the raised eyebrow routine of mine he spills the information I wanted. "Unless you're on swim team most guys find it a little gay. And even then they still find it a little gay."

I almost laugh at the implication. "Don't they notice when you're all romping around into the locker room after baseball practice all naked and stuff?"

He stared me down for half a second before letting loose a bark of laughter. "I think you've seen too many movies."

I gave him my 'uncertain' face, then he offers an example. "So by the same token whenever you girls have sleepovers, you all dress up in your sexiest lingerie and have pillow fights followed with experimental kissing?"

"Well," I shrug. "Yeah."

He looked like I just gut punched him.

"I'm kidding."

After grabbing a throw pillow, Mark uses it in the prescribed way, but I have reflexes like a jungle cat… okay maybe a like a startled house cat. I shriek and hiss a little.

After I disarm him from all of the pillows he threw at me I ordered. "I want to see what you look like in shorts."

His eyes track to the front door. "I have my workout stuff in the car."

I wrinkled my nose a little. "Not that badly."

With a good-natured laugh he informed me, "I was running late today. I didn't have a chance to go to the gym."

"Cool, well what are you waiting for."

He eyed me briefly. "If I have to do it then you have to too."

Okay, that's fair. "Deal."

I wait until he's back in the house and show him to my boy room while I go and get into my sport's bra and stretchy hot shorts. I make sure I'm tucked away nice and tight for the display. Those shorts are unforgiving. I pin my hair up like I'm working out. I still have a stack, but I do have to pin up the sides to keep it out of my eyes.

Mark beat me out of the room and he was downstairs in the kitchen grabbing a Coke from the fridge. I swear sometimes I don't know if that boy knows he's posing or not. But it's hot.

He's got the guy's version of the hot pants. It's what weightlifters wear to the gym. Not quite as tight or short as a girls, but you can definitely see everything on display… quite well as a matter of fact.

"Okay, I give. You win."

He closed the fridge and had two cans of Coke in one hand. I told you, the boy has big hands. I try not to blush as he checks me out. I'm getting better about that. I don't turn into a ripe tomato anymore, but I know I'm flushed because my eyes keep winding up in a certain area of his. I'm not sayin' where. That would be telling.

"What do I win?" he asks playfully.

Nuh-uh. Not going there. "A Coke?"

He handed me mine. "Fair enough. Besides, I think you win anyway."

I roll my eyes. I know I still look like a little girl, body wise. "Whatever Mark. I have no breasts." I turn to go back into the living room.

"I'm not a breast man. Strictly eyes, legs, and butt, and you win all three."

Alright, maybe the tight revealing clothing wasn't such a good idea. But it feels real good to be admired for some feminine qualities even if I'm not quite through with my change.

"Now that we have mutual admiration down pat, maybe we should get to studying."

After an hour of discussing the hows and whys of congressional duties I've come to the conclusion that all men should shave their legs. Um, not that I was distracted or anything.

Leave me alone! I can still look and admire Mark's sexiness.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Hey!

Chloe and Ted are over getting ready. Ted looks really nervous. Chloe looks cramped, and I look spectacular!

Well, not quite. But I had a really nice long bath to relax and smell nice.

"Cas, do you have any Midol?" she bellows out from the bathroom.

"In the drawer on the left at the sink."

Ted looks at me as I pluck his eyebrows. No, I'm not turning him into a girl. Just a little cleaning up. Guys need it too, even if they want to be Neanderthals underneath.

"Why do you have Midol?"

"For my cramps."

His forehead wrinkled and I smack him on top of the head. "Quit that." I pluck another hair that desperately wants to be a part of a unibrow. "It's part of being a girl, Ted. I have everything in this house that a genetic girl has in hers, even if I don't have to use it. And as you can plainly see, if girlfriends come over so they can borrow."

"I still can't believe it. Even knowing what I know. I mean you are too perfect."

I pause for a second and give him my awwwww face. "Thank you, Ted. That's sweet."

"Well you are."

Even being on the gay side at the moment, he still makes me feel like a girlie girl. "Thank you, now be quiet so I can make sure you look pretty for Craig."

His eyes go into panic mode. "Casidhe," he said with somewhat of a warning tone.

"I have the perfect dress for you. You did remember to shave your legs right?"

Now he knows I'm yanking his chain.

"Casidhe!" Chloe yells from the bathroom.

"Okay, you're all through." I pat Ted on the knee. "Off you go little one. Make mommy proud!"

"Casidhe!" She yells again. "Coming!" I yell back. I'm never going to be able to get ready at this rate.

"Oh, I almost forgot." I stopped, opened up my makeup drawer and pulled out a small tube. "Here, make sure you use this tonight."

Ted grabbed it out of the air. "Cherry Chapstick?"

I nodded. "Guys really like it when their girls wear flavored lipstick."

I get the evil eye in return. Right before I enter the bathroom I look back down the hall and see Ted applying a little lip balm. See, told ya.

I tap lightly on the bathroom door and open it right after. "Yes, Mistress Chloe?"

My best friend is sitting on a closed toilet lid adorned in only her very sexy undies. That's when I notice the massive ladder in her left stocking.

"Nothing is going right! It's like I'm cursed!"

I scoot myself over in front of her and give Chloe a well needed hug. "Sweetie, I have stockings you can use. Don't worry."

She sniffed and clutched me closer while I stroked her hair. "It's everything Cas. I'm a nervous wreck, my period, my stocking, my eyes are going to get all puffy if I start crying."

I give her little shh noises that tell her I understand. "You want me to get Ted in here to give you a kiss to take the edge off?"

She snorted into my tummy. "No."

"You want 'me' to give you a …"

She squeezed me tighter. "Cas!"

"Okay, kidding. How about a valium?"

Chloe stopped trying to break my ribs for a moment. "You have valium?"

I reached over and opened up the drug drawer, sifting through the back to find the almost empty bottle. "I'm a girl scout, Chlo."

She released me and I dug around and found the pill cutter. "I think maybe just half of one should be enough. You don't really want to be all spacey tonight."

One of those small Dixie cups of water plus a swallow later and Chloe looked like she might be alright.

"Okay, come on let's get to my room and we'll sort out the stockings." I stopped and grabbed her robe. "Here, you don't want to catapult Ted back into heterosexuality. Craig would be pissed."

Denise arrived a little early and I turned into a little pile of goo at her attention.

"Casidhe…" she said as her breath seemed to disappear.

"Kiss me."

"I'll ruin your make up."

"I have the good stuff. It's not going anywhere." I planned ahead tonight. Like I keep saying — girl scout.

I felt like a princess that night as we all piled in the limo I had rented. Ted couldn't stop grinning as Craig couldn't stop looking at him, and Chloe finally chilled out to tolerable levels once Chris made it there and gushed at how beautiful she was.

We went to dinner at Tony's. It's a four star restaurant downtown. I had never really been someplace that served meals in courses. It's highly recommended if you've never tried it before. I had to pass at the dessert cart or else I'd never be able to dance.

The evening was perfect, for me at least. We made it to the dance and took a very nice picture then went to the dance floor where Denise held me in her arms forever, or at least until my feet started hurting, which at the moment I really didn't care about. I looked good and that's all that mattered.

The six of us claimed a table. The guys, which I'll have to define as Chris, Craig, and Denise, fetched us girls further defined as yours truly, Chloe and Ted, some drinks while we giggled and pointed out the fashion terrors of the evening. Well Ted didn't giggle, and I think he was feeling especially weird being part of the girl group.

"I still say you would look great in that dress I got you."

Ted's eyes narrowed. "I have no desire to crossdress, Casidhe. I like being a guy too much."

Chloe leaned in conspiratorially. "So, are you and Chris…"

His eyes flicked to her. "What?"

I smiled knowingly.

"Have you guys done anything… noteworthy?"

I stuck my tongue into the side of my mouth a few times, without the rude hand gestures, and then waggled my eyebrows.

"Why is everyone so interested in my sex life?"

"Because you never tell us anything," I complained. "We give and we give, but from you we get squat. We just want to know that you are happy, safe, and satisfied. That's what girlfriends do!"

He rolled his eyes at me. "Fine."

Chloe perked up. "Okay, spill."

"We've done the… oral thing."

I bounce in my chair. "I still haven't done that… well with a guy." I felt my face heat up and grinned in response.

The 'guys' arrived before we could continue. I sipped at the punch that Denise brought me. She spoils me rotten. "Thanks, sweetie."

I gave her a quick kiss for a reward. Anything more than that and the chaperones/teachers got all uptight, I found out early on.

Chloe and I did manage to pull Mr. Walsh out on the floor to shake his thang for half of one song. I actually think he liked it. I know Chloe and I did.

"Think I should go tell them to tone it down?"

Denise combed her fingers in my hair and we settled into bed after a little post coital bliss. "Let them have a little fun. God knows Ted needs some release."

I snickered under her arm. "Yeah, but I think they might break the bed."

We lay there listening for another fifteen minutes and then silence finally settled over the house. Ahhh.

"Hey, Casidhe?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you sure you don't mind not being able to do anything?"

This is about the hundredth conversation we'd had on sex and me not being on the receiving end. "Sweetie, it's not like I have a way to do anything. I do like the attention you give me with other things."

I really do enjoy playing around. I've just never had an orgasm. I really don't know if it's a mental thing or a physical thing. I really don't care all that much. But telling Denise that is next to impossible.

She sighed in disappointment. "Are you sure you don't want to try the anal thing? I really don't mind."

It was my turn for the sigh this time. "Denise, baby, love of my life, sugarplum, you know I'm not into that. What we do is more than enough for me, right now."

I felt her shift in the bed and reach over to turn on the light. This way I get to see how serious she is or something. She reached down and picked up her wife beater that she wore underneath her tux blouse and put it on. I was comfortable like I was.

"Did your therapist say when you'd be able to get your SRS?"

I nodded. "He said if I'm a good girl 'and' keep going to sessions with him 'and' I didn't have any major problems then I could have an early Christmas present."

"So about eight more months." She looked really disappointed.

I could almost cut the air with a knife, and at the moment I was feeling very vulnerable, so I slid to the side of the bed and pulled my panties on.

"Cas, don't run away," she pleaded with me.

I wasn't running, really. "I don't know what you want me to say, Denise. I really don't. I told you the first time we did this that I couldn't…"

Without going into too many sorted details, yes I derive pleasure from being touched down there, just not the traditional pleasure.

"I just feel guilty for not making you feel like you make me feel."

I opened my closet, pulled a tank off of a hanger and slipped it on. There. I have my armor on. "And you're making me feel guilty for making you feel guilty. Can we just move on and go back to being happy?"

She really looked like that was exactly what she wanted to do. Shows you want I know. "This isn't really working."

What? "Denise, don't do this."

It was like she didn't hear me. She bent over, picked up her blouse and started to get dressed. A crushing feeling hit me in my chest. No. "Denise, please."

"I'm sorry, Cas. I really am. It's just too much."

"Why," I snapped back in defense. "Because I don't want you to…"

She shook her head. "It's me."

"What's you? What are you talking about?" I almost cried.

She looked around for her shoes and then slipped them on. "I have to be able to please my partner. I know it's stupid."

"Denise, you do please me. You make me feel things I've never felt before. Please don't do this because of something I can't change, yet." Panic gripped me. I felt my heart slamming against the inside of my chest and my breathing quicken.

She stood there with her coat draped over her arm, looking a little sad. "Cas, I just need…"

"What?" I eagerly asked.

She shook her head and started for the door. Stupid me made to cut her off. I blocked the door with my body and begged her with my tear-filled eyes. "What do you need? I'll do anything. Just don't leave me."

I admit it wasn't my proudest moment. Some of you might not remember what it was like being a teenager. Well let me remind you. The entire universe revolves around you. This is a fact. So when your girlfriend decides that she doesn't want you that means you've done something wrong and now the universe is against you, just because. You'll do almost anything to make the pain stop, even begging.

"Casidhe, it's my mistake. I should've known what I wanted."

"What do you want," I rattled off. "I can change. I'll find some way of getting the operation earlier. I'll go to Europe or whatever."

She shook her head. "I want a real girl, Cas."

So there it was. Apparently I was a cheap substitute; training wheels for today's lesbian.

She reached for the doorknob and I was frozen, defeated. My heart had been ripped out of my chest and thrown to the floor because I was truthful from the beginning about who and what I was.

I shuffled out of the way and she left. It was as simple and painful as that. And I was broken.

Except for necessities, I spent all of Sunday in bed clutching at Denise's pillow until her scent had been replaced by mine. I ignored the phone and just thought about what my life was as a boy pretending to be a girl. Then I made a decision.

Have you ever done something in the heat of the moment that you would never do at any other time?

I skipped school and spent the day on the phone and talking myself into a frenzy. I had made arrangements overseas, purchased a ticked, packed my bags, the whole shebang.

Ding Dong!

I peeked through the peep hole and see Chloe looking somewhat concerned, and then opened the door.

"Hey girl! You're not sick?"

I shook my head. "Come on in."

Chloe set her backpack by the door and noticed my luggage. "Going somewhere?"

I nodded. "I'm grabbing a Coke. Want anything?"

"Okay, what's wrong?"

I tired to stay nice and even, but sometimes it's almost impossible. "What makes you think something's wrong?"

She gave me irritated face. "Because you always retreat to the kitchen when something's bothering you."

I did? "I do not." At her returned glare I amended my last statement. "Okay, maybe I do. I could of just been thirsty, you don't know."

Chloe followed me into the kitchen and watched as I retrieved a drink. "Coke is your emotional crutch."

"And it also quenches my thirst. Beverages are weird that way."

She definitely wasn't letting me off the hook. "Where are you going?"

"Thailand."

Chloe blinked with a grand exaggeration. "And this is just a spur of the moment thing?"

"Uh-huh."

I don't think she was buying it. "Because Thailand is the tourist capital of the world and you've always wanted to go."

I sipped on my Coke and then set it down, suddenly deflated… me, I was deflated, not the Coke. That would be really weird if the can deflated. "I'm going to get my SRS."

"Wow," she remarked with mock seriousness. I could tell she was worried all of the sudden. "What's your therapist have to say about this?"

"I haven't told him."

She nodded in thought. "And you are going alone, I take it."

I nodded in dread of what was coming.

"Any particular reason you are rushing this?"

Moving around the island to place it firmly between Chloe and me, I took another sip. "I want to be happy."

She pursed her lips and thought on that for a moment and then waved me over to her as she closed the distance between us. I prepped myself for the impending whack on the head, but was relieved when she took me in her arms and gave me a hug instead.

"You're stupid, you know."

I nodded as I felt a swell of emotion building up inside. "Uh-huh."

"I love you anyway."

Did I ever tell you that Chloe was my best friend in the whole world?

"Gimmie your Blackberry."

"Why?"

She backed away and gave me a stern look. "Because you are not going out of the country all by yourself, idiot. And you aren't going until you talk to your therapist."

At my look of protest she held her hand up. "That's the deal, Cas. Otherwise I'm going to sit on you until I'm satisfied you do. Even if your therapist says no I'll support you, but you 'will' tell him along with the reasons why you are jumping the gun.

I was committed. Yes, I know all the reasons I should wait and how much of a chance I am taking by doing things a different way. But let me ask you a question. What would you do to make yourself truly happy. How far would you go? I've had enough sorrow in my life.

"It's in my purse."

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

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To Be Continued...

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Part 11

Relax. It didn't happen. Are you aware of just how immature a psychiatrist can make you feel when they have the inclination? Yeah.

I spent a couple of hours under his tender mercies on Sunday, and then the rest of the day replaying my relationship with Denise in my head. Monday came and went as the school grapevine shifted into overdrive spreading the news that Denise had dumped me. Did I get all up in arms about it? Nope. I just confirmed everyone's impolite inquiries. Yes, I was the dumpee.

By the time I had made it home, Jerry had updated his MySpace page to let the world know that I was "free range" once again. I was really beginning to see why celebrities disliked tabloids so much, especially since there were three new pictures of me on the front page. One was a shot of me at lunch with Chloe right after I had stretched out a kink in my back. A good three inches of trim belly was showing on that one. A little caption underneath whined about me still not having a belly ring. The second was a shot from behind when I was bending over the water fountain. Even I had to admit that it was a good shot. Thank goodness I was wearing that stretchy mid-thigh skirt. The last one was me leaning up against the lockers looking forlorn. Maybe I ought to become a model.

Inbox: 43 New Emails

Sigh.

The odd thing about those new emails? They now included pervs from both sexes. I seriously contemplated starting my own MySpace page to post the pics people send me, but it would probably be taken down just as quickly.

After Monday's tutoring I skipped dinner in favor of a single peach. My appetite was crap, which I suppose was a good thing, considering ever since I started the new hormones I'd gained a few pounds… mostly in my butt. Cellulite will not own this girl!

The Blackberry chirped at me from across the room, right when I had found the perfect coziness on the couch. With a disgruntled noise I hoisted myself up and found that I recognized the caller.

"Aren't you supposed to be running around the bases right about now?" I opened.

"Casidhe! Come on down to the game tonight."

"Maarrrk," I whined.

"You've got no excuse." He urged me on. "I'll hit a home run just for you if you come down." After a brief pause with no response from me he added, "Come on, where's your school spirit?"

Checking the grandfather clock I saw the game started in fifteen more minutes. "Fine. I need to get ready though."

"Excellent! See you soon."

With a roll of my eyes I clicked off, dropped the phone by my purse and throw my head back in frustration. "Oh, god."

With another sigh I raced upstairs and sifted through the closet. "What am I supposed to wear to a baseball game?"

Settling on a gold colored skirt with matching cami, I tossed them on the bed and checked my legs for stubble. Good to go! I layered on the makeup a little darker since the game would go into the night. The good thing about going to sporting events is that a girl's hair doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, it's socially acceptable for it to be a little messy. Grabbing the long portions I pin them up on top of my head and top it off with a cute baseball cap I bought off the cheerleaders earlier in the year, because they were earning money to go to competition. See, I have school spirit.

It's kind of hard to miss the field when it's lit up with a bazillion lights. Twilight was just settling in, and as I was driving in I could see the game had already started. From the look of the crowd, or I should say lack of a crowd, I didn't really have to guess at the current school standings. We sucked. Team parents were there and two cheerleaders were trying in vain to whip them up into a frenzy.

Is it possible to whip twenty some odd people into a frenzy? Go team!

The guy at the snack bar was kind enough to sell me a can of Coke for the low low price of three dollars. Holy crap! Screw the greenish looking hot dogs!

A quick scan of the area produced nobody that I was familiar with so I took a seat in on the aluminum bleachers at the front, on the home team's side. I really didn't have a desire for some parent to try to get a look up my skirt for a trip to the top. Blech.

The couple I sat next to gave me a once over like they recognized me from somewhere, but shrugged it off to return their attention to the field. From the look of things, our team had one man on base and the man at the plate was on his third strike.

"Tanner, you're up on deck," I heard from the side. Oh, good timing.

I popped the top to my soda and gave it a good sip before setting to the side. Good thing I did. Mark came out of the dugout with his bat and helmet in either hand. As he was adjusting the helmet on his head I got a good look at him, for the first time, in uniform.

"Damn," I whispered. What is it about the pants guys wear for playing baseball? 'Cause I know for a fact that most guys do not have butts that look that good when they wear jeans.

Mark turned around and picked up a weight to slide over the end of his bat. That's when he looked up and saw me. A grin split his lips. The goo was back and it was making a mess out of my spine. I lifted my hand and gave him a little finger wave while I watched him start his stretching.

"You know Mark?"

Tearing my eyes away from the sole reason I was there, I turned to the lady that was sitting next to me and gave her a distracted, "Uh huh."

She held out her hand. "Susan Tanner, and this is my husband Michael."

I must have been brain fried at this point because it took me a moment to put it all together. "Oh, you're Mark's parents." I took her hand for a brief shake and then met Michael a second later as he reached for his very own. "I'm Casidhe O'Connor."

Susan's eyes blanked for a moment, and then she too added one and one. "You're Mark's Political Science tutor."

"That's me!"

Michael started laughing to himself. "It's all starting to make sense now."

I squinched my eyebrows together, well not together, 'cause that would make me look like I had a unibrow and mine are nice and separated, thin and arched, but you get my drift. "Pardon?"

Susan smacked her husband on the side of the leg and pursed her lips. "Michael, stop it." It didn't really help. He just covered his mouth and snickered silently.

When Susan gave me her attention again she explained. "Mark seemed very happy today when he got home from school. You wouldn't have had anything to do with that, would you?"

My eyes widened and I turned back to see Mark finish his warm up, still looking at me. So I gave him my #4 patented evil eyes. Those are the ones that say, "You got some 'splainin' to do."

He didn't care one bit and just waggled his own brows at me. I looked to the side and smiled with embarrassment. "I became single over the weekend and Mark had indicated a little interest in dating a while back." Susan seemed delighted.

Michael leaned forward a little. "This wouldn't have been about the time that he started dating that Whitmore girl would it?"

Remember the little redhead that Mark took to the Spring Fling? The one that resembled me just a little too much? Cathy Whitmore. My answer was returned with a blush. Thank god the last batter struck out. Mark was up and I could avoid anymore embarrassing talk.

"COME ON MARK! WOOHOO!" I clapped to cheer him on.

He settled himself in the batters box and wiggled his butt a little as he prepared himself. I'm really beginning to see the attraction to competitive sports.

The first pitch was apparently not a good one. He just stood there and shook it off before resetting himself. The second pitch, I saw the muscles in his back clench and his hips swivel followed by the SMACK of bat hitting ball. I jumped up and my hands flew to my mouth while I watched the ball follow the left side of the field, clearing the outer wall.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Casidhe."

"You too," I replied as I shook Susan's hand.

Michael added his two cents. "I hope to see you at the rest of the games. Mark was possessed tonight."

I nodded. "I'll see what I can do about filling up the bleachers. They just need some encouragement."

It really wasn't a tall order. The bleachers weren't all that big. Maybe a dozen more people and we could make some noise.

"Casidhe!" I flinched a little bit, startled by Mark on the other side of the chain link fence separating the bleachers from the field.

"Hey!" I turned to Mark's parents and waved bye then ran up to the fence giving him a big grin. "You did it!"

I'd never seen him so hyped up. "That totally rocked. Thanks for coming."

I shrugged a little. "You did all the work."

He shook his head. "Yeah, but you cheered me on. You really don't know how much that helps. I was so juiced up."

"Tanner!" his coach bellowed.

"Coming Coach!" Before he turned away he grabbed at the fence were my fingers were hooked over a link. "Can you stick around… maybe go for pizza after?"

I gave him a crooked eyebrow.

"Twenty minutes tops and I'll be out here." He looked like he was thinking for a second. "Or better yet, I'll pick you up at your house."

I smirked. "Do I need to change?"

His eyes widened. "Are you kidding? You're gorgeous just like that!"

"I'll be waiting."

Did I go home and wait patiently by the door for my Romeo in cleats to come pick me up? Hell no! I rushed up the stairs and checked my makeup which took me a couple of minutes to refresh and then dashed to the bathroom where I whipped off my skirt and panties. A quick potty break later and I was doing a little masking with some surgical tape. I had no illusions about tonight. Mark was just too excited and with his excitement mine increased. I didn't want anything to spoil… anything. So I tucked and taped securely. Just for optimum coverage I pulled out a panty liner and attached to the crotch of my panties for a very smooth overall look, once applied.

I'd read in Marie Claire that models did this for swimsuit and lingerie pictures so they didn't show any definition down there, if you get my meaning. What works for the goose, works for the Casidhe!

With a sniff under the arms and a squirt of perfume I was good to go!

BRAKES!

I looked down at my Nike's and decided on strappy sandals instead. I still had a nice pedicure and I'm sure Mark would appreciate looking. Dammit! A chip! Where's that polish?

Breathe Casidhe. Just breathe.

Whipping out my Blackberry I sent a text to Chloe: Pizza with Mark, his royal hottiness, tonight. Details later. XD

There. Informed the best friend. Duty is done. Time for some fun.

DING DONG!

I almost tripped over the couch, the coffee table, the area rug, my own feet. Breathe Casidhe!

No matter what I did I couldn't keep the stupid happy grin off my face. Even when I opened the door a little too fast and almost dug it into my foot. Thank god I was wearing my sandals. A trip to the emergency room for a handful of stitches would not be good at this point.

"Hi!" Oh god. His short hair was still wet. His white polo was offset by the deep tan still all glowy from his shower. I looked down and saw he was wearing shorts, for the first time since I had known him. Remember those smooth legs of his?

"I remembered that you wanted to see me in shorts."

Dragging my eyes away I looked back up at him. "The workout stuff you modeled was good enough for me. Are you sure you don't mind?"

He gave me a quick shake of his head. "As long as you're with me, not at all."

Do you think it's possible for me to smile so wide as to show him every one of my teeth? I tried.

Tuesday night pizza wasn't so busy. Oh, by the way, wow! We had to order the twenty inch pizza. Mark, apparently, can pack it away.

"So," I began nonchalantly as I sipped on my mega-Coke. "Your parents seemed amused by Cathy Whitmore."

His tan didn't really help with the blush appearing at his ears. "Uh, yeah. I guess I was a little obvious with that one."

I tried not to torture him that much… just a little. "You do realize that we're coming up on the end of the year."

That confused him a little, so I clarified. "You're graduating. I'm a Sophomore."

Mark's face fell a little. "I just turned eighteen and you'll be sixteen next Monday. It's just two years difference."

My lips twisted playfully to the side. "You know my birthday?"

That relaxed him a little. "It's every boyfriend's job to remember important dates."

Leaning back into the booth I giggled joyfully. "Man, you are a fast mover!"

He edged up to the center of the table. "I know what I want. I know who I want. If it's right, why wait?"

"Mark, you barely know me."

Interlocking his fingers, I watched as he took a slight breath. "Your name is Casidhe, with an I-D-H-E, O'Connor. You already know I know your birthday, which will be your sweet sixteenth. You're addicted to Coke, but nothing else bad for you. Since I see you drink juice and water as well, and you are obviously very fit, I can conclude that you take your health as serious as I do.

"You live by yourself since your Grandfather passed in November leaving you very wealthy, which is great because I know you wouldn't want me for my parents money, like a lot of girls I dated have. You have a fantastic personality and the most beautiful laugh that makes me smile every time I hear it."

By this time my smile was gone and my mouth slightly open, my face was expressionless.

"You don't mind that I have a little quirk about disliking body hair, in fact it seems to turn you on a little, which I really like." He paused to see my lack of reaction and didn't know what to think so he trudged on. "You are incredibly smart. I'm guessing, if you wanted to, that you could graduate with me and go to college right now, but you are going to school because you want to interact socially with people your own age.

"You don't bend to peer pressure or suffer idiots as is evidenced by your protection of Ted Head and your short bout of dating him. Your most recent dating experience was with a girl, Denise. You care about people and not as much as about how you are seen."

I held up my hand before he took another breath. "Stop. Okay, you know a lot about me." I didn't realize it, but my breathing had increased. Sliding my Coke a little closer I took a big sip and swallowed to give me time to think of a response.

Mark knew way too much about me, but it wasn't anything that couldn't be found out by paying attention me and my surroundings. It was obvious he hadn't found out about my life before January or he wouldn't be sitting here.

"Why… no, never mind. You just said…" I think I'm gonna throw up.

Mark cut me off. "Casidhe. I'm eighteen, and I'm going to college next school year. It'll be in town, and I'll be staying at home. We live in the same neighborhood. We'll see each other every day. Plus we have this summer." He eyed me with such a serious expression. "You want to know why I want you to be my girlfriend?"

I was afraid to ask, but nodded in return.

"Because I'm sick of the games." He dropped back in the booth and looked to the side, out into the dining area. "I've dated six girls in two years, ever since I started playing baseball. All of them were exactly the same. They wanted two things, one of which was to be hooked up to the star so they could be popular, and two to hook up with the guy with the most money."

When he turned back to me I could see the heat in his face. It was taking something out of him to admit this.

"My parents have been teaching me the family business. They've also been teaching me to set goals and how to achieve them. I could tell you that I'm not a player, but the only way to prove that to you is for us to date and actually show you that I'm trying to be mature."

I cocked my head to the side and looked at him hard, trying my best to penetrate his mind. "Since you're being straight forward then I will be too."

He nodded. "Cool, go ahead."

It was then that our pizza arrived. Once we arranged ourselves and had a couple of bites I continued.

"I'm a virgin."

Mark choked on a bite that he was halfway through swallowing. After coughing it up and a big swallow of soda I apologized for my timing.

"Sex is what killed my relationship with Denise."

He tired desperately to look nonplused, but I had my doubts.

"I was willing to do almost anything she wanted, but the final act."

Now I totally confused him and that gave me a happy. "Mark, what do you think two girls can do in bed?"

Okay, here was the real test.

"Uh…"

I couldn't take it. I'm just not that mean. So I bailed him out. "Pretty much the exact same thing a guy and a girl do." I ticked off the fingers of my hand. "Petting, hands, fingers, oral, penetration, the whole ball of wax." At his look of disbelief on the 'penetration' portion I added, "We can penetrate each other with fingers, hands, and sex toys."

"Oh!" He ran his hand over his face, kicking himself for being ignorant. Then he jumped in and made a conclusion. "You didn't want to use those."

I shrugged. "It's not that I have anything against the toys… Look, I have issues. Medical issues."

The concern on his face made me feel bad for explaining my problems this way. "It's not bad, health wise, but it makes regular penetration pretty much impossible for me without a lot of pain." Before he could inquire further I waved him off. "This December I'm having an operation to correct the problem, so it won't be an issue by January or February at the latest." After a deep breath and moment for him to settle in I explained myself.

"Why am I telling you all of this really private information? Because I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I won't be able to satisfy you like your other girlfriends…"

"Casidhe, I'm a virgin too."

What do they say about assuming?

"Oh… never mind." Dear lord, the burning of my face.

"Well, now that we've got that out of the way," said Mark with a touch of humor in his voice.

He set one of his feet up against my part of the booth to nudge me. I reached down and grabbed his ankle. "I'm such an asshat."

A warm chuckle trickled down my spine giving me a little courage to look between the fingers covering my face.

"It's okay. I can totally see how most people would conclude…"

"I'm not most people."

"No, you aren't. But you are human."

Running my hand up his smooth calf I squeezed a little. "Forgive me?"

He twisted something off his finger and held it out to me. "Only if you'll be my girlfriend and allow me the chance to show you that all guys, or teenagers for that matter, aren't the same."

I looked down and saw what he was holding. It was his class ring.

WHACK!

"OWWW! What the hell?!"

Chloe looked smug sitting in the passenger seat massaging her hand after hitting me in the shoulder. "That's for not calling me last night and sending me a stupid text message that I didn't notice until this morning."

I rubbed at my arm. "That better not leave a bruise or I'm telling Dave you really do go both ways."

Her eyes narrowed a little and then she threw it off. "Mark Tanner? An actual date with Mark Tanner, and you didn't think it was important enough to call your best friend?"

"I think I might need a sling."

"Oh, you're gonna need a sling in a minute if you don't give me every little tiny detail right now little missy."

I gave her crazy eyes. "When did you become so violent?"

She reached for my arm and I cringed back, giggling all the way. "Okay, okay!" I put the beetle in gear and we took off toward school. "I went to his game last night and we went out for pizza after."

From her expression I could tell she wasn't getting something. "You went to a baseball game? You hate sports."

"Have you ever seen the guys in their uniforms?"

Pondering for about half a second, she twigged. "Ah. So, nice?"

"Very." A little grin returned to my face at the thought of Mark's little wiggle at home plate. "I met his parents last night too."

"Get -- out!"

I nodded. "They're pretty cool, and they already know about me, seeing as Mark tried to substitute Cathy Whitmore for yours truly."

"So, you've moved on."

Shooting her a quick questioning look, I asked. "From what?"

"Denise."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to wallow in self pity for the rest of the school year. If Denise hasn't realized what she is missing then I'm moving on up."

"To the top, apparently," she finished. "So, when's the second date?"

We pulled into the parking lot and I hunted for a decent space. "I'm going to the game on Thursday and probably something after, but he doesn't want to count that as a date. This weekend we're spending Saturday together."

"I bet he asks you to do the girlfriend thing then."

With a knowing smirk I reached in my blouse and pulled out the chain that was hanging around my neck with a large, and heavy hunk of gold on the end. "Too late."

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I almost wrecked the car. The windows vibrated. Dogs and cats within a three block radius were probably saying to themselves, 'What the hell?' I know my eardrums will never be the same again.

"Let me see! Let me see!"

GAK!

Luckily I just hit the brakes after pulling into the parking space, before she choked me to death. The funeral was beautiful, everyone was there.

"Wait, what are you doing? Are we forgetting a small little item located between your legs?"

I really didn't know how to take that one. Should I defend what tiny insignificant piece of masculinity I have left, or perhaps admit that yes, I was tiny in comparison to the national average. Apparently neither.

"I told Mark that I have a physical problem that will be corrected in December and that sex was out of the question, but it didn't matter because he is a virgin too." With that Chloe got the full view of my tongue when I stuck it out at her."

Needless to say, she was gobsmacked. "Really?"

"That little tidbit of info does not leave the car, Clo."

She gave me 'don't be stupid' face.

A quick triplicate of knocks sounded at my window and I squeaked before spinning around. Mark!

He cleared the door swing as I opened and jumped out into his arms.

"I'm going to be vomiting lots at the sugar overload between you two aren't I?"

I didn't care about Chloe's silly barb when I heard Mark's first words to me today.

"I missed you."

Awww. He must receive many kisses for his sweetness, and they must be given at that moment. I'll have to say one thing above any other. The boy can kiss.

"I see you're wearing my ring."

I gave him a quick twisting of my hips and a pleased, "Uh huh. All yours, nobody else gets me, but you."

He lifted it up a little and looked kind of strangely at the chain. "Pretty sturdy."

I fingered it a little. "It was my gramps. I wanted to make sure the ring didn't go anywhere. It's got to cost a bazillion dollars with the five pounds of gold and a big honking diamond in the middle."

Mark wasn't kidding when he told me he had just turned eighteen. It was on April 1. With me on the 20th of this month we were virtually two years apart and luckily both of us had diamond as our birthstone. Cool huh?

"I still have to go shopping for a birthday present for you. I can't believe you didn't tell me during tutoring."

He bent down and gave me another kiss. "You're the perfect present. I don't want anything else."

Awww! We're never going to make it to school like this. Kisses must be awarded!

Something caught my eye off to the side and I turned to notice Chloe splayed out over the hood of the beetle with her tongue hanging out of one side of the mouth.

"I think we killed my best friend. Maybe if I gave her mouth to mouth…"

Chloe squeaked and jumped off the hood. "Keep those lips to yourself, girl. I just happen to know where they have been."

With one of my hands resting on Mark's chest I replied with strong conviction. "Damn right."

Mark was very attentive throughout the day. When possible, he met me at strategic junctures to give me a hug or a kiss and walk me to class. We had separate lunches, so that was a no go.

Pout.

But I did meet him near the gym after school for a goodbye kiss as he went to baseball practice and Chloe and I went home.

The gossip network was as efficient as always and I'd be surprised if I wasn't back to 'taken' status on Jerry's MySpace page by the time I got home. Surely this 'new-girl' thing would wear off soon. I just don't get what is so special about me and all of the attention I receive.

What I did notice was Denise's reaction to seeing Mark and me together for the first time. Complete and utter shock. I didn't rub it in too much; just a contented smile directed her way. I was still embarrassed at my reaction on Friday night, or I should say my 'overreaction'. She still has power over me with knowledge of my secret, but even that is easing to the wayside. I'd been as truthful as I could with Mark, without giving him graphic descriptions of my situation.

Some might say that I'm leading him on, that I should tell him that I am a boy in transition to a girl, but that's not how I truly see myself. I'm a girl, always have been. Mother Nature just had other thoughts on the matter and set me up for a challenging life. With Chloe's help and that of my doctors, I'm dealing with that challenge and turning those metaphorical lemons into lemonade.

Will I tell him the whole story eventually?

I'm under no illusions about the relationship we were beginning. I have no idea if he is the one who was meant for me. The one thing I do know is that High School, for me at least, is a place where I will meet new people and expand my social education. That means dating, falling in love, and most probably, falling out only to start all over again. Mark was further along the course than I was.

Ideally, he was at the midpoint in his search for Mrs. Right. Being a boy, he had to learn about his hormones and also about how to control them. If he really was a virgin and really was a serious as he was the previous night where he revealed his dislike for game playing, then he was further along than most boys his age.

From what Gramps told me, being a teen is about testing your boundaries: finding what is acceptable and not, experimenting with love and life, and building meaningful relationships with those of like interests. So, I took him at his word.

If, Mark and I were still together by December then I would tell him the complete truth and let the cards fall where they may. In the meantime I would enjoy the time we had together, to a point.

Obviously, I won't let things go too far, but seeing my past record of losing my mind when confronted with my own, now raging hormones artificial as they may be, I would have to be careful about how far I let him take our relationship.

Am I growing up or what?

"Hey babe."

I shook my head in exasperation at Steve when he arrived for his tutoring session. Ever since the fall of Macbeth we had been working on his ten page research paper on a book of his choice. It took me a week to talk him out of Paris Hilton's autobiography accurately entitled 'Huh?' Instead he chose Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Trust me, things could have been worse.

While he pulled his laptop out and set it up I grabbed us both a Coke.

On the way back to the table I stopped for a second to let a gas cramp pass. Yeah, I know you really needed to know about the inner workings of my lower intestines. But hey, you're the one reading , blame yourself.

"So, have you written a thesis statement yet?"

He nodded as he pulled up something. "Hang on a sec. I have to send a quick email. Won't take a minute."

"Cool, take your time. I need to go to the restroom anyway."

He gave me a weird look. "Too much information."

"What? You never need to pee? Wow, you are cool, Steve."

I was in my cotton babydoll, snuggled up with Mr. Puddles the Bear when Mark called.

"You're in bed already?" he asked.

"Uh huh. Just turned out the light and Mr. Puddles the Bear is keeping me company."

I heard a muffled chuckle. "Do I want to know?"

"He's the bear you got me when the psycho hose beast cracked my head on the toilet."

"Ahh, you sleep with him?"

"Every night," I confirmed.

"Really?"

"Uh huh," I said as innocently as I could. "Though I'm going to need more of your cologne. What you put on him is starting to wear off."

Silence stilled the line for a few moments. "You noticed that then?"

That gave me the giggles. "I notice everything you do, Mark. I always did."

I pulled Mr. Puddles closer and inhaled his scent trying my best to imagine Mark laying there with me.

"I can't wait until Saturday."

That brought a smile to my lips. "Me too. I want to get to know everything about you."

"Ask any question you want and I'll answer. I'm an open book."

Oh really. "Okay, what's your favorite color."

"Red."

Smirk. "Favorite book?"

"Hmm, tough one. I'll have to say, Stoker's Dracula."

"Oh, good choice. So you're a romantic."

"Obviously."

Now for some personality defining questions. "Republican or Democrat?"

"Neither, they're both a bunch of self serving liars and hypocrites."

An idealist? Interesting. "Tell me about your most favorite memory from childhood."

"No challenge. Christmas morning when I was thirteen," he began. "After we opened our presents, Dad took me out back and told me the facts of life."

"Really?" I was surprised. "That's usually most people's most embarrassing moment."

I could almost hear him shake his head. "Not with Dad. It was the first time he really told me anything I wanted to know. He said it was best to be totally truthful and to be careful about what I asked, because sometime the truth hurts worse than a lie."

That shot a little guilt through me with my omission the night previous. "That's very true. But sometimes people aren't ready to handle the full unvarnished truth."

He paused the conversation at my statement, being thoughtful I suppose. "That sounded a little ominous."

A nervous tingle ran through my stomach. I really didn't want to reveal anything about my physical problems right at that moment, but he was being truthful to me and I didn't want to screw up our relationship with lies. "It kinda was."

"Casidhe…"

"Mark, remember what your dad told you. Sometimes the truth can hurt worse. Be very careful about what you ask me. I won't lie to you, but I haven't told you the entire truth yet. We just started dating."

"True."

God, please don't make me do this right now. I've had enough upheaval in my life as it is.

"I don't know what to say." He sounded confused with a touch of fear in his voice. "Does this have anything to do with you and Denise?"

Well that was a little bit too close for comfort. "Yes and no. It mostly has to do with what happened when my parents were killed, and my physical and mental state since then." If that wasn't skirting the issue then I don't know what was.

"What does that have…" He stopped and restarted. "How was Denise involved in what happened that long ago? Didn't you two just meet this year?"

"Yeah." I thought about it for a few seconds. "Look, let me tell you a few things. It won't be everything, but it will give you a better mental picture of me."

I waited for his acknowledgement. "Casidhe, is it okay if I come over?"

My eyes widened in the darkness. "Why?"

"Because I can hear your voice and you don't sound… I want to be there for you. Is it okay?"

I looked over at the red glowing time on the clock. "Yeah, it's okay."

"Cool, I'll be right there."
 
 
Author's Note: What? You thought I forgot about this story? Pfft!

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

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To Be Continued...

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Part 12

I argued with myself for five minutes about whether or not to get dressed and then wound up just shrugging on an emerald green satin robe that barely reached passed my hips. A couple of swipes with a brush and I was half-way presentable. Mark would have to do without seeing me in make up for the night. That alone might scare him off. Right before I was about to head downstairs I spritzed with a single shot of perfume. No need to take things to the extreme.

After turning on the porch light I went to the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove for some chamomile tea. Maybe it would keep me relatively calm after what was sure to be yet another emotional night. That was all that I had time for before I heard the doorbell go off.

A quick check through the peep hole and I opened the door. Sweet mother of Ralph Lauren! Mark stood there looking somewhat eager and nervous, dressed in stretchy black bike shorts that hugged every millimeter of his… never mind, and one of those loose workout tanks that scoops low enough to show off half of his very well defined pectoral muscles. I furiously battled the little devil sitting on my shoulder urging me to tell Mark that he could come in, but he'd have to take off those obviously inappropriate clothes. Why yes, I do have something that you could wear. How about a tea cozy?

Eventually, I came to my senses and stepped back to allow him inside my lair… my home. GAH!

"Hi." Keep it simple, Casidhe. Anything more and he would know that you are a monumental idiot.

Before I even had the door closed, his lips captured mine. A warm blanket of fog settled over my mind as I eased into his embrace. His right hand holding me by the lower back and his left hand cradling my face. God, I could learn to love this every single day. Who am I kidding? I already love this.

By the time reality turned on the yellow fog lamps so I could see straight I eased back down and realized my right foot was kicked back just like in the movies. Who does that? I always thought that it was just a little visual thing that the director told the actress to do for cuteness sake. Nope, I guess all a person needs is the proper lips to encounter.

After a few blinks I was able to compose myself. "Um…" Gulp. "I'm making some chamomile tea. Would you like a cup?"

With a nod he answered. "Thank you. Would you like some help?"

"I've got it. Why don't you have a seat and I'll be out in a minute."

Okay, I didn't have enough willpower to actually go to the kitchen until I got a very nice view of Mark walking to the couch. Bless the makers of biking shorts the world over. I think I know exactly what to get him for his belated birthday gift.

Sorting the tea goodies on a serving tray kept me busy and my mind off of things better not thought of was probably my only salvation for the evening. I set out a few tea cookies and napkins. Anyone would have thought that I was serving for upper class guests that always drank their tea with their pinky firmly extended, but that was the way I was taught. Do it right or don't do it at all.

Well, here we go. Don't drop the tray.

Mark's eyes widened a little at the set up while I asked him how he liked his tea.

"Just a little honey, please."

Great. We drink our tea exactly the same way. Is this fate trying to tell me something?

We sat quietly, nibbling on our cookies and sipping at our tea until I couldn't take it any longer. I sat my cup down and pulled my feet up until I was comfy on the couch, looking at my boyfriend.

"Do you know how my parents died?"

Mark shrugged a little. "Terrorist suicide bomber?"

I nodded. "We were at the American Embassy in London. I was ten at the time. I was screwing around and my parents were ready to leave. They almost made it to the front gates and I was running to catch up."

When I tell this story I usually blank out, relating it to whomever is listening. It keeps me from being emotional. From what I've been told, it's unnerving as hell to watch.

"Mom was wearing an olive green pea coat and Dad had his London Fog jacket on. He always thought of it as a little inside joke, being in London and wearing that particular jacket." I paused for a second, seeing them in my mind's eye. "Dad was holding Mom's hand and he had turned around to see where I was. Mom looked over her shoulder smiling just a little. Then they were gone."

My nose crinkled up a little in displeasure. "I remember a flash and a wall of hot air hit me in the face. I think I weighed about eighty pounds at the time. But I do remember that I was airborne for a second or two." My face cleared and I tried to take on a more clinical air. "The concussive force of the blast blew me back. It's pretty much what you see in the movies. Except you really don't appreciate how much heat an explosion like that gives off. It felt like my skin was going to melt off."

I looked down for a second and saw Mark had taken my hand in his, but I didn't want to get sidetracked.

"I was out of it when I hit the ground. I think I remember other people screaming, but that could have been my imagination. I would imagine that there would have been."

I felt him squeeze my hand, not too hard, but still.

"I didn't wake up until two days later. Gramps was there by my bed. I was covered in bandages… the… the shrapnel the terrorist was carrying on him is what hit me the most. Funny thing is that I don't even remember being hit with it, just the heat." With a dry swallow I met Mark's eyes briefly and then turned my gaze to the back of the couch, plucking at some imaginary lint, absentmindedly, with my fingers.

"When I was well enough, Gramps and I came back home and I met with a plastic surgeon friend of his and they did a bang up job on me. You can barely tell where I was hit… well almost barely."

Mark spoke for the first time since I started. "Is that what you need to get fixed this December?"

I nodded a little and added a shrug. "It has a lot to do with it, yeah."

After meeting his eyes for a moment I looked back down. "It made me… I can't have any children of my own. It screwed up my hormones where I had to take supplements. Basically I'm a mess."

The corners of his mouth lifted up a little. "I don't think you're a mess. I think you're a survivor."

That brought a single heaving laugh from my lips. "You're sweet. You're obviously stupid, but you're sweet."

"Come here."

He opened his arms and I turned around on the couch to face him as I cuddled into his chest.

"How can you think that any of this makes any difference as to whether I like you or not?"

I sighed and tried to engrain this feeling of acceptance into my brain for as long as I could remember it. "Because I was two very different Casidhe's then and now. It wasn't until I started school here that I changed into who I am today."

Mark's arms tightened around me and I felt his lips atop my head. "Tell me couple of things."

"Okay," I mumbled into his chest.

"This operation that you are having in December, will it change who you are in the inside?"

Well, that was a loaded question. "Sorta. It'll let me be who I want to be… who I was meant to be."

"So what's the big deal? You do what you need to do."

I sighed in resignation. "The big deal is that I'm not a real woman."

He didn't say anything at first, probably thinking about what I said, but then he found the words. "You're not able to have babies, and not able to produce female hormones, right?"

I didn't say anything, but I did nod.

"Does this mean that a woman that has uterine cancer and has to have a hysterectomy any less of a woman? Does it make her a man?"

I shook my head.

"Does someone that has breast cancer and has to have them removed make them any less of a woman?"

Again I shook my head.

"Casidhe, I'm not an unrealistic kind of guy. There are lots of things that make a relationship work. The most important thing is the ability to talk things through. We've done that. The second thing is we have to have the ability to have fun with each other with whatever we do. We'll find out more about that while we date."

My arms squeezed around him tighter. It was like I was trying to pull us together out of sheer willpower.

"Another realistic thing is the ability to have a mutually satisfying sexual relationship."

Nodding with understanding, I looked up under his chin, trying to see the expression on his face.

"When you have this operation will you be able to have…"

"Yes," I breathed. "From what the doctor says, I should be as close to a normal girl as is possible, under the circumstances. You shouldn't be able to tell the difference and I should be able to achieve orgasm like a normal girl."

He chuckled a little at my directness.

"Oh, and my breasts are growing."

That brought on a big laugh from him. I just smiled and snuggled in closer.

"I told you that I'm a eyes, legs, and butt, kind of guy."

"I like my butt. No problems there."

"I do too."

Not being able to take it anymore I pulled back and turned his head to me. If I were able, I'd take him upstairs and show him exactly how much I appreciated his understanding. Then I thought. Why couldn't I? I might not be able to do everything, but then again we both already knew the score on that subject.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

I bit my lower lip slightly and then told him. "I'm thinking about how much I want to make love with you right now."

His eyes turned very serious. "I can wait. There are other things we can do. I hear kissing is pretty cool."

Thoughts of kissing Mark gave me a warm fuzzy feeling and something else to add to the interesting new body reactions list: hardening nipples. I blushed, not wanting him to think that I was a giggling school girl, whether it was true or not was beside the point. So I kissed him.

To: studlymuffin3829
From: coconnor

Jerry,

Studly muffin? What's up with that? Do me a favor and post the attached letter on the MySpace page that you made of me, and follow the request as well, please. Do this and I'll cooperate to make your page a little less stalkerish.

Attch: WHAT'S UP FALCONS!
Yes, this is a message from me, Casidhe. I've found you out! So, if you get to look at pictures of me without me b*tching then I'm making a request of you too. Come to Thursday's baseball game and watch our Mighty Falcons kick the living spit out of the Klein Bearkats. As an added bonus I'll be sporting a new look for the occasion. I think you'll appreciate it. This isn't a proposition for the pervs, but I have spirit, do you? Game Time: 7pm. Pre-game party: 6pm at the field. Bring your boom boxes, and I'll bring the eats.

Casidhe

p.s. Yes, the rumor is true. Mark Tanner is mine! But more importantly I'm his.

Does a mild-mannered… okay never mind. Does a slightly bent new girl have the power to command the lives of -- by last count 432 -- MySpace geeks? Pfft. Apparently you don't know me very well.

I checked the site to make sure it was posted the day before. Now today is game day and I let the attendance office know that I would be taking a personal day. For some reason I need a note from my parents to let the school know I'm doing this with their permission. I kind of equate this to the pimply faced guy behind the counter at McDonalds that wants to know if I want fries with the apple pie I just ordered.

So, I drove in with Chloe the next morning to have a powwow with excitable lady at the front desk.

"Do you have a post-it that I could use?"

She looked down. "Is purple okay?"

From the blank look on my face she took that to be a yes. I scribbled away: Casidhe has my permission to take a personal day from school. Sincerely- Casidhe O'Connor.

"Sorry, parents are dead. Check my records; I'm emancipated."

There, that's taken care of.

Did you know that they make these things that you can have attached to your existing hair that makes it look like it's your own hair, only longer?

Did you know that the Parents Sports Boosters that take care of concessions don't really like it when you come in and do their job better than they do?

Did you know that you can have a custom made cheerleader's outfit finished in a single afternoon if you flirt enough with the guy behind the counter and add an under-the-table sizable tip to the tab?

Did you know that chaps don't really go with a cheerleader outfit? They don't. Plus, I think the school might have a problem with that. Okay, scrap that idea.

These and other revelations coming soon to a baseball parking lot near… um, the school.

"Hey, where are you at?"

Still fiddling with the ear bud thingie for my phone I answer, "Right around the corner. Hey, you're still dating Dave, right?"

I heard Chloe sputter. "Yeeeah, do you know something I don't know?"

Pulling in the parking lot I reply, "No, just checking. You're coming to the game tonight."

"Cas," she whined. "I don't like baseball."

"Maybe not, but you'll like the outfit I got you."

I saw her waving at me and closed the connection before stopping. The door opened and her backpack made it to the floorboard before she dropped beside me."

"Oh my god! Where did you get all of that hair?! It's so cute!"

I pet my high ponytail with a smile. "I know, right?"

She leaned in a did a close inspection. "Wow, they matched the color great." Dropping back down in her seat she gave me the evil eye. "Okay, now what's this about an outfit?"

Reaching into the back seat, I retrieved a good sized white box and handed it to her with a smile. "It's for tonight."

I checked the side mirrors and eased back out into the post-school-leaving-the-parking-lot frenzy. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her open the top and her resulting giggle.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me."

"Nope."

Chloe pulled out the cheerleader uniform top, except it wasn't designed like the current squad's uniform. The purple and gold colors were definitely there, but in place of the school's letters and mascot was a large patch that read, "Dave's Girl," in cursive lettering.

"I've got one just like it," I said with a pleased expression on my face.

"You've got a cheerleader outfit that says, Dave's Girl?"

A giggle escaped my lips. "Mine reads, Mark's Girl, and I have one for Ted too."

She folded up the top and closed the box. "Craig will appreciate Ted in a skimpy skirt."

"Chloe! His are shorts and a normal guy cheer top."

Her face wrinkled up a little with an unpleasant thought. "Think we can get him to shave his legs? It would look a lot better with the outfit."

I was going to comment, but the thought of a smooth legged Ted stuck in my head, so I just let my mouth hang open while I explored the possibilities. "Call him and get him over to the house. I'll try to talk him into it." As an afterthought I added, a little too eagerly. "Call Craig too."

Craig was the first call and I listened while Chloe told him the plan. Amazingly enough, he was game to the idea of experimenting, but couldn't make it to the house. If he was going to the game then he had to complete his homework first. It was one of the conditions of his parents during the school week. Understandable, I suppose. Although he was very eager to see Ted in a cheerleader's uniform.

"Nuh uh, not gonna happen."

I grabbed Ted's arms and gave him my sweetest puppy dog eyes. Bow to the effect, I tell you. Bow! "Craig said he's interested in seeing you hairless."

That little tidbit of information shocked him a little. "Really?"

Extending my pouty lip I nodded quickly. "Uh huh."

He looked to the side to avoid the amazing power of my pouty lip.

"Ted, Mark has smooth legs too. In fact he went as far as to have his whole body laser cleaned of hair."

That brought his eyes back around to me. "Mark?"

"I think it's sexy as hell, and you would look so good in the outfit." Opening the box I moved the top out of the way and showed him the stretchy shorts. "Isn't it about time to show the guys and girls what they've been missing all this time?"

The sound of Chloe pounding down the stairs interrupted us, and she turned the corner, striking a pose. "What do you think?""

It wasn't a traditional outfit. We wouldn't be actually leading cheers. I'd leave that for the semi-professionals. So I opted for purple knee boots with a chunky two inch heel instead. Ted's were regular tennis shoes with purple ankle socks. The purple skirt with gold piping was a little shorter than I thought. It didn't take much of a spin to make it fly up, revealing the spankies underneath. I stayed within cheerleader guidelines and kept the spankies the same color as the skirt. It was still damn sexy.

"You're hot, Chloe. No doubt about it." Ted added a nod of encouragement as well. I think he was actually speechless.

Chloe bounced a little. "Dave is SO gonna love this." With exaggerated movement she closed into Ted, distracting him for the cause. "So, Ted, are you gonna join the smooth squad?"

Chloe is so bad. I couldn't let that challenge go so I tried to one up her by taking Ted's hand and setting it on my thigh.

"Doesn't it feel good?" His eyes jerked to where he was touching while I moved it a few inches back and forth to show him how nice I felt. "We could do it for you if you want." With that, I looked up at Chloe, trying to egg her on.

"Oh yeah, good idea. She grabbed Ted's other hand and put it on her thigh. "Wouldn't you like us to help shave you?"

Craig may have more than a handful of hormone charged Ted to deal with at the end of the night. It was all for a good cause, then.

"Do you think we broke him?"

I gave Chloe a wry smile while I poured my Coke. "Well, since he's up there 'relaxing' himself…" A giggle escaped my lips. I just couldn't hold it back. "I'd say we performed admirably, shaving a sixteen year old boy's legs."

Chloe's hand was over her mouth trying to contain herself. "I can't believe you offered to clean him up — 'there'.

I shrugged. "Nothing worse than a bushy jungle between a guy's legs, or a girl's legs for that matter. I thought it was quite helpful of me, even when he declined."

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Yeah, if you wanted to give him spank fantasies for the next year."

Sipping at my Coke, I played with that thought for a few seconds. "It's kind of… nice knowing that a guy thinks about me that way."

"Cas, a lot of guys think of you and want to…" she motioned her fist up and down.

"Plunge their toilets?" At her returned glare, I set my Coke down and grabbed her arms. "Turn around, you've got it all wrong."

I pushed myself up against her back and went up on my toes, over her shoulder. "You've got to imagine you've got a penis. There's not a whole arm movement down there. It's all in the wrist, like this."

I tried to looked down, but couldn't see anything because something was blocking the way. "How can you seeing anything down there. Your mongo breasts are in the way. Teasingly I reached across and covered both of her breasts with my hand and forearm, squeezing them in.

"Where are you guys at?" Ted announced as he came through the kitchen door, decidedly more relaxed. His eyes widened at my arm around Chloe and my hand posed over her genital area, and my other hand… No, no, no Chloe, don't do it!

"Hey Ted, don't mind us. Casidhe is just showing me how to masturbate properly. Apparently I've been doing it wrong all of these years."

A strained look overcame his face before he backed out and closed the door.

"Chlo, you know you're going to Hell for that one, don't you?"

"Hey, you're the one grabbing my boobs. Which, by the way, leggo!"

I jumped back. "We're all girls here."

She turned and let me see her raised eyebrow. "Yeah, but you're bisexual, and you've already kissed me once. I've had boyfriends that haven't gotten as far as you have."

With just a little bit of disgusted recoil I flinched back. "Ewww, it would be like making out with my sister. No, just… no."

Chloe looked amused at my overacting. "Oh really. Then why are your nipples hard?"

I bugged, looking down at my chest and my newly budding breasts. Hey, they aren't hard!

"Made you look!" Chloe laughed as she dashed out of the kitchen.

The Sun was low in the sky, but still quite bright. You know the kind that sits right in front of you as you're driving, and all you see is this brilliant ball of yellow while you are speeding through a residential neighborhood avoiding small children, and those little rat dogs that invariably wind up in the middle of the street? No matter which way you turn to avoid looking directly at it, it's always there. And that little visor they have stuck above the windshield is absolutely no help. I can just see the engineers that designed the thing. 'Oh I know, let's put an adjustable, completely solid object in front of the driver so they can have the choice of going blind or not seeing a thing. Either way, they're dead.' Yeah, I can see it going something like that. How about a heavily tinted visor instead? Nooo! That would make too much sense!

A few cars were in the parking lot when we got there thirty minutes before the pre-game party to make sure the guy got there with the extra supplies for the concession stand. I'd planned on about a hundred people to show, but knew there would probably be a little less. From my research, advertising usually increases turnout by no more than ten percent, and ten percent of 432 is 43.2. I'd imagine someone would have to baby-sit their younger sibling, so there's the point two. Of course I could be totally off and everyone would wind up bringing the entire family, including cousins, in-laws, family pets, neighbors. But, thems the breaks when dealing with the unknown.

Chloe and I gave the concessions guy an eyeful when we stopped off. To look at things and hand over a check to cover the food. I was feeling a little self-conscious about showing so much of the lower half of my body. However with a gaff, a panty liner and my spankies, I knew I was covered pretty well.

Ted was still in the car by the time we made it back.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I changed my mind."

"About?" I prompted.

He looked down. "These shorts are too tight and my legs are shaved for god's sake. If I go out there like this, I'll be pounded for sure come tomorrow."

Chloe opened the passenger side door and grabbed a hold of one of his arms. "You aren't looking at this the right way, Ted. Stand up." At his balk, she swept her arm out. "Look, nobody's here right now."

He craned his neck out the door to make sure, so I grabbed the other arm and pulled. He finally gave in.

"See, you aren't any worse off than we are. You don't have six inches of belly on display, and Casidhe was nice enough to put the school mascot on your shirt instead of 'Craig's Boy'. Your thighs are pretty defined and you don't have knobby knees, so that's a plus."

"I think it's sexy," I added. "And with two of the hottest girls in the Sophomore class hanging on your arm, I don't think you'll be teased."

"Even if they did," Chloe explained. "Cas and I would tear them to shreds, socially. You saw what she did to Jerry Greene. He's had one date in four months, and that was actually his younger cousin that was visiting from Alabama, so that didn't count."

"It's a win/win!" Being double-teamed by both of us again had Ted questioning his self imposed angst that was eating at him. The expressions that were crossing his face gave me a positive feeling.

"Okay, but you guys can't leave me alone tonight."

Chloe and I grabbed an arm and slid our hands through. "His name is Head, Ted Head."

Chloe bounced. "Oh, I want to be Miss Moneypenny." I nodded. "That's cool. I'm gonna be Halle Berry."

"Cas, you're white, like white white," she exaggerated.

"Yeah," I agreed. "But I've got the sexy Catwoman costume on order for Halloween. Maybe I can get a dark spray on tan in the meantime."

"Oh, good call."

"You think my butt would look good in a leather Catwoman outfit, Ted?"

He blinked a couple of times.

"Cas, don't do that to him. Those shorts of his show everything. We don't need things exploding everywhere."

"Sorry, Ted. I didn't mean to tease." Okay, I really did. What? It's fun!

Seventy-three. That's how many people showed, some of whom were Mark's parents and his little sister.

"Casidhe!" I heard above the music blaring as Chloe, Ted and I were dancing in the circular clearing we made with about twenty cars. Hey, it keeps the trash spreading around the grounds to a minimum.

I looked up and saw Mark's mom waving at me. My face lit up and I waved back. "Susan, Michael!" Turning back to Chloe and Ted I gave them the scoop. "Those are Mark's parents. I'll be back in a sec, okay?"

With a returned nod I was almost speed walking through the crowd. "Cool, you guys made it."

Susan's eyes were wide, taking in the display. "Wow, you really did it."

"No kidding," added Michael. "I thought you'd bring your friends, maybe a handful, gheeze."

I smiled wide. "Nothing's too good for my boyfriend." Behind Susan stood a pre-teen girl, looking decidedly sick to her stomach, not to mention the finger she was sticking down her throat and gagging dramatically.

Susan smacked at her. "Casey, stop it, and come meet your brother's girlfriend. This is Casidhe O'Connor. Casidhe, this is Casey."

With a smile and a finger wave I said, "Hi!"

She looked me over. "That's a cool uniform. Are you a cheerleader?"

Shaking my head, throwing my ponytail around and giggled. "Nope, just highly spirited. Come on, I'll introduce you around." Looking up at her parents I asked. "Is it okay?"

Michael looked a little wary. "Uh…"

"I'll be right beside her the whole time." Susan smiled at me. "Oh, and you guys have got to stop by the food stand. Free eats tonight!"

That distracted Michael while Susan cautioned her daughter. "Stay with Casidhe and no running off."

Before Susan could implement even more rules, I grabbed Casey's hand and pulled. "Come on! We got dancing!"

The bleachers were completely packed by the time the game started. Michael and Susan had their spots saved and I already had director's chairs set up next to them for the gang. The parking lot was cleaned up before things got a little more sedate without the constant blare of the local radio station through everyone's boom boxes.

The home team took turnes checking out the crowd from the dug out and when Mark poked his head out with a stunned look I jumped up and gave him a happy bounce and a wave.

His eyes bugged at my outfit, so I lifted the sides a little and curtsied for him. It wasn't a perfect curtsy, but the effect was good enough. A hand pulled him back and it was replaced with Steve's face and lascivious grin soon thereafter.

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about!" I heard him yell.

The coach yelled at them and the team had to retreat to put their minds on the game. Two more cheerleaders showed up to lead the small crowd with their chants while I basked in the effect.

It's really kind of weird keeping my legs crossed all of the time. However if I didn't, it was amazing at how many boys would happen to be crossing in front of me, on their way to wherever. I turned into quite the pro after only fifteen minutes of showing off what was underneath my skirt.

Details about the game? Do you actually care? Let's just say that it was their biggest win ever. Six to three was the final score, including a one run homer and two RBI's by my sweetie!

Craig showed up at the third inning and Ted was distracted for the rest of the game, but Chloe and I cheered enough to take up the slack.

Ding Dong!

I left the game all by my lonesome as Chloe left with Dave, who finally showed up real late and Ted was, of course, off to have fun with Craig. But I had better things to deal with.

I opened up the front door and there stood my freshly showered and very happy boyfriend.

"Oh, hi Mark. I was just about to head to bed." I yawned dramatically, but couldn't keep it up, giggling right after.

He stepped in and hoisted me up from under the arms. I squealed happily and wrapped my legs around him so he could let me, in turn, wrap my arms around his neck for a nice long kiss. I heard the door close and our bodies swivel around until I felt my back against the door and his hands beneath my thighs. I could seriously get used to this.

He broke away and I leaned back a little. "Am I too heavy?"

"You're perfect. I could probably hold you here for hours."

A playful smirk played over my lips. "But then I couldn't feel your hands on me."

With a slight groan he slowly set me down. I made it a point to make sure our bodies didn't lose contact for even a second. Just making sure he was happy to see me. He was. Giggle.

"Where did you get this outfit?"

I broke away and spun in place. "Like?"

"Very much. I could barely keep my mind on the game."

Heat rose to my face and it wasn't an embarrassing heat. With all of the attention given to me over the evening I was humming along on a very nice excitement glow. Slow down, Casidhe. I breathed for a second and then distracted myself. "You want to stay in tonight? I could make us something to eat if you're hungry."

Mark's eyes swept my body and then locked on mine. "I'm very hungry."

I smiled. "For food, Mr. Tanner." Spinning away, I sashayed to the kitchen with Mark trailing behind after getting an eyeful.

"Hmm," I contemplated items in the refrigerator. "Steak sandwich?"

He goggled at me. "You cook too?"

I beamed at him, prideful. "Yeah-huh. I'm a very good cook. So, steak sandwich?"

"Sounds great."

The indoor grill was on the island in the middle of the room. I made my way around the kitchen after making sure Mark was comfy on one of the stools watching my every move. No matter how much I tried to concentrate on what I was doing, I felt the heat of his eyes upon me. The heat from the grill wasn't helping matters and I turned the overhead exhaust fan on. It added a whirring noise into the background, so I wasn't as self-conscious about the silence between us.

"What would you like on your sandwich? I'm using buttered Kaiser rolls that I'll toast on the grill."

His eyes brightened just a little. "Um, lettuce and tomato if you have it."

With a smile I opened the fridge. "But of course," I replied in my best French accent. It wasn't pretty. "I have a little bit of everything. I try to eat at least two healthy meals a day. The lunch room ala carte isn't something that I would classify as healthy."

He snorted in agreement. It was cute on him.

I peeled a few leafs of lettuce and sliced a tomato, setting them to the side. The aroma of grilling beef filled the kitchen and I sighed. It was nice to cook for more than myself again.

"You'll have to come over for dinner, more often. I hate cooking for just one person."

I could tell he was taking in the scent too. "If it tastes as good as it smells, then you'll have to lock your doors to keep me away."

Letting my eyes travel his body for a moment, I found his face and a little contentment behind his eyes. "Medium rare for you, I think."

"Hmm?"

"Your steak, you look like someone that likes his steak medium rare. With the juices dripping and licking your fingers, savoring the taste. Am I wrong?"

I think that was a little too much for him. He snaked his hand around my waist and pulled me to him. Hunger was definitely in his eyes and most assuredly in his mouth because he devoured me at that moment. My body was on automatic as I literally climbed up into his lap, straddling his strong muscular thighs.

Little whimpers of satisfaction broke out of my mouth. His scent, even above the aroma of the grilling steak, found itself inside me, caressing my mouth and nose, urging me on.

My hands worked at the hem of his t-shirt, lifting it up and allowing me access to his smooth chest, where my fingers danced in happy worship to our heat. Oh to be a genetic girl and have him lay me down on the counter to claim me, I would have given anything for that to have been true at the moment.

Breathe Casidhe.

I pulled away. His eyes were smoky, his mouth loose, and his lips full. Closing my eyes I tried to banish the image from my mind and turned my head away. My breath had already gone heavy, and my tummy twitched, ached for completion, or more to the point aching for copulation.

Reaching out I slid my hand across the counter for the tongs I would use to turn the steaks. His mouth found its way to my neck, teeth bare against my throat, biting lightly, surrounded by his warm lips. Oh god! My back involuntarily arched into him.

I was about ready to say screw the steaks, but I knew my man was hungry. For what, was the next question.

With my free hand I pushed at his shoulder. "Mark." God, when did my voice get so husky?

He pulled away and I quickly flipped the steaks. Okay, we've got another seven minutes before they're through. The tongs clattered on the counter where I dropped them as I pulled his mouth back to my neck. A burning sensation let me know I was being marked and I don't think that I cared in the least. On second thought, I knew that I did care. I wanted the world to know that I was taken and who it was that had claimed me.

His hands ran under my top, pushing it up, along with my bra, until I felt his mouth pull away from my neck and drop lower to my tiny breasts. Dear mother of all that is… That was all it took. A wave of warm sensation washed over me, crashing down upon my body like nothing I had ever felt before. My hips ground into his without my urging, and I held his head to my breast, squeezing him and shaking until I cried out, echoing into the night.

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

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Part 13

Sometimes I think the late night bubble bath is what makes life worth living. The feeling of the warm water tinged with caressing soap running its way around my body. Yeah, every once in a while life can be good.

My hands, in their journey around my body to make sure everything was clean, ran across portions that brought back delightful memories of only an hour previous: kissing Mark after he made me feel more like a girl than any hormones, doctors, or surgery could ever hope to accomplish. Or perhaps the looks we gave each other as we ate our respective meals in silence. The knowing smiles, heated gazes, flicks of our tongues to catch the dripping juices running down our chins.

My legs were like jelly, my tummy warm and content, my mouth eager for more, and Mark's eyes hot and consuming.

A giggle echoed in the bathroom at what I did afterward to convey my thanks for that release that he gave me.

Steve was dead on right about one thing. The desire to repeat the experience wouldn't leave my head. I could see exactly how addictive sex could be. No, don't worry, it didn't go that far. But experiencing the closeness that I did with Mark was the most intense experience I had ever felt. It was like I wanted us to meld into one being. When I had myself wrapped around him while he sat on that stool, I couldn't squeeze him hard enough, I couldn't hold the involuntary reactions that it involved.

I only hope I didn't make him deaf in one ear. That would make me feel kind of guilty. Hopefully I made up for it afterward. He seemed to enjoy his time, and that was all that counted in my book.

The look on Chloe's face when she got into the Beetle, Friday morning, was priceless.

"Holy crap, you had sex!"

"Wha…?" I give up. First thing I do when I get home this afternoon is to call the C.I.A. Who need waterboarding when with one look, Chloe can tell your deepest secrets?

"You're literally glowing! Stamp out that carbon footprint baby, 'cause you won't need to use any electricity for the next year!"

Apparently I won't need any heat this winter either, because it was rolling off my face in waves. "I did not have sex last night."

A snort almost echoed in the car and Chloe actually laughed out loud. "You are such a bad liar."

"I didn't… really!" I pleaded in my defense. "I can't have sex!"

Her eyes narrowed and I looked away, toward the street, to pull out and drive to school. A little hole burned its way into my brain and I could almost feel Chloe using her evil superpowers to read my thoughts.

"You didn't have sex," she stated, knowing that I was concealing a bigger truth.

"Nope."

"Did you orgasm at any point last night?"

"Chloe!" Damn it!

A quick look at her face and I knew she had it all figured out. "And did Mark orgasm at any point last night."

A relenting sigh wooshed out of my lungs. "Yes."

"You are such a bad girl," she declared and bounced in her seat. "So spill. Details girl. I'm all about the details."

"I was cooking him dinner."

"Oh, in the kitchen!" Then her face squinched up. "Hey, I eat on that table."

"It wasn't on the table. It was kind of on one of the stools."

Now she was confused. "How in the world did you manage that."

I shied away a little from that question and gave a meek response. "We were kind of making out, and I might have crawled up into his lap. Then *poof* the happy happy joy joy fairy came for a visit."

"Hold on… back up. You orgasmed from making out? Are you sure it was a real orgasm?"

Thanks goodness we had to stop at a stop sign, because I was required to fling a look at her. "There are different degrees of orgasm? If there are then I'm screwed, because that one had my knees weak, my thighs hurting from squeezing too much, and my brain on vacation into lala land for quite a long time. I don't think I could take anything more intense."

"Wow," Chloe responded. "Um, yeah. Sounds like the real deal." After a couple of beats she added, "Only from making out?"

I nodded. "Well my neck was involved and we got a little carried away. I think my nipples have gotten a lot more sensitive over the last week."

Chloe sighed. "My little girl is becoming a woman." She turned back and faced forward. "You are one of the lucky ones. Some girls can orgasm from having their breasts stimulated. Dammit! I'm not one of them."

I shrugged. "Well I had been on low simmer for most of the night, and Mark just made me… His mouth…"

"I get it, girl."

I was almost on simmer again. "His tongue and …"

"I said I get it! You don't need to get that graphic." One thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three. "So how did he…"

She's almost becoming predictable. "Well we ate afterward, and I might have brought him upstairs."

"Might have?"

I nodded. "Sure. It's all part of the very realistic fantasy world I have inside my head… only not so much fantasy last night."

"You didn't."

"I didn't what?"

Chloe poked the inside of her cheek with her tongue a couple of times without using the rude hand gestures. There were too many people walking around that would be able to interpret that particular sign.

Can a cringe be taken as an affirmative sign? "Not really?"

So now the look I receive is bordering on confused with a touch of 'are you crazy' added in.

I sighed dramatically. "I gave him a 'hand' with things. I might have had brief tongue contact, but that was it." With a frown I added, "He didn't really last very long, and pulled my head back before…"

Chloe's lips were pressed together and her eyes seemed to expand in their respective sockets. Her shoulders started shaking. It kind of looked like she was trying to contain something before she burst out in a most hysterical case of the giggles.

With a semi-disgusted look on my face I opened my door and hopped out so I could close the door back as quick as possible. She lost it then and I could hear her muffled laughs. I for one didn't see what was so funny. I had a great time last night and my boyfriend did too. That's all that mattered. Hmph.

"Casidhe O'Connor," Mr. Walsh called on me and I saw an office aide leaving the classroom before I hopped up and made my way to his desk. At my inquiring look he handed me a hall pass. "The Vice Principal wants to see you in her office."

I took the pass and scanned it. What'd I do?

Chloe tried to give me the fish eye on my way back to grab my backpack, but she was still too amused from my 'handy' revelation in the Beetle this morning to even try to look serious. I flashed the pass and mouthed, 'office'. "Apparently I've been a bad girl."

Ah, if only Chloe had been drinking something at that moment. Instead she jerked sideways laughing and rammed her ribs into the desk. See, its not nice to mess with the karma fairy. Eventually, I always win. I always think of others before myself… well, except for last night. That was definitely me first. But that wasn't exactly my fault, because Mark was just as giving I was.

Sigh. I'm never going to be normal again, am I?

Luckily homeroom wasn't that far away from the front of the school, so after dodging the custodial engineer, and a very smelly mop that he was wielding in a strangely Arthurian way, I pulled the office door open. Happy Sparkly girl was behind the counter again. Doesn't she ever get a break?

"Hi, can I…"

I held up a hand to forestall her chirpy attitude, and flashed the pass. "I know my way."

Her bottom lip pouted out quite cutely.

The Vice Principal's door was ajar as I neared, and I could see a blonde girl that I recognized from some previous day at school. She looked energetic, which in my opinion is never a good sign.

A light knock later and I fully opened the door. "Am I interrupting?"

The forty-something, wannabe thirty-something, lady from behind the desk, stood. "Casidhe O'Connor?"

"That's me." The lady held out her hand for one of those finger shake handshakes. I obliged.

"Hi, I'm Buffy Carstairs, and this," she indicated with a polite gesture. "Is Jamey Bunzeatan."

Buns eaten? Oh, poor kid. Some parents should get a clue and straighten out their name for the children's sake if nothing else. I could just see little Jamey being picked on in elementary school.

I shook the poor perky girl's hand as well. "Pleased to meet you both."

"Sit, Casidhe, please." A vice principal named Buffy. What is it with this town? I'll never be able to take her seriously. Too many vampire slayer jokes come to mind.

I set my backpack down and swept my knee skirt under me before sitting and crossing my legs.

"So, quite the showing last night at the game."

Ah, so the curtain is pulled back. "Yeah, well I could see at the game on Tuesday that the cheerleaders had their work cut out for… oh no." I finally twigged as to who the girl was. 'Jamey the head cheerleader'. "Look I wasn't trying to usurp anyone's role here. I was just supporting my boyfriend and invited a lot of friends to the game. It kind of snowballed from there."

Buffy looked amused and I watched as she swiveled her LCD computer screen around for me to take a look at. It was Jerry's MySpace webpage, and yes it was updated with a number of shots from last night's game. Man, was my skirt really that short? "I can explain that."

"No need, Casidhe. You aren't in trouble."

That froze me in my seat, in mid heart attack. "I'm not?" I looked over at Jamey shaking her head.

Buffy explained. "You might not be aware, but I'm the faculty advisor and cheer coach for our Mighty Falcon Cheerleaders."

I was boggled and just shook my head slowly. "Uh…"

"We've tried our darndest to whip up support for our baseball, basketball, and volleyball teams, but for the last eight years turnout has been abysmal." My eyes darted between Jamey, Buffy, and the door, which as luck would have it was mere feet beside me. Bug out plans scampered through my head that would make the Great Escape look like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

"Whoa."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Exactly." She threaded her fingers and leaned into her desk with an almost manic smile on her lips. I say manic, it might be described as energetic, considering her cheering experience, but let's go with manic anyway. It sounds more ominous.

"So I bring in Jamey here to congratulate her on a fantastic job last night only to be told she had nothing to do with it."

Oh god. I left my scrying ball in the bathtub this morning, please don't make my life more complicated.

"Word made it around fairly quickly and I'm given a web address to a MySpace page."

I lurched forward on the balls of my feet gauging how far away my bag is in relation to the door. "It's not my page. Jerry Greene has a crush on me and… and… " Dammit!

Jamey's making her move! I reached down to grab my bag. There are heavy books in there. Bitch was going down if she touched me!

"We want you to join the cheer squad," announced Jamey with a bit too much pep in her high twangy voice.

I froze. There's no other word for it. Nary a muscle twitched as my mind took a vacation on the lovely shores of Antarctica. The cool breeze, well the really cold breeze iced over my body. Penguins were there. For some reason the theme from Happy Feet popped in my head.

"Casidhe?"

"Huh?"

Jamey looked excited enough for all three of us. "Great news, right?"

"I'm not in trouble and you want me to be a cheerleader?"

"Jamey," said Buffy. "Let me explain instead of jumping right into it."

My eyes swiveled to the adult in the room. She scrolled down and there was my letter that Jerry posted. "In basically what amounts to a day and a half, you single-handedly increased attendance by 300 percent." She scrolled back up. "You obviously look good in a cheer outfit, and your boyfriend is captain of the team."

I had to cut her off before this got silly. "I have no idea how to cheer. I lack any semblance of coordination. I've almost fallen down the stairs three times this week alone. There's no way…"

"You misunderstand," said Buffy. "We don't want you to cheer, we want you to do what you did last night. Oh, and also to hook us up with whoever made your outfit." Two beats later. "The idea of a parking lot party before the game was genius. Where ever did you come up with the plan?"

My eyebrow arched. Did these people ever watch television? "It's the same thing professional football teams do. It gets people in game mode and all pumped up."

"And the free food?"

"I paid for that."

Now was the time for Buffy's bogglement. "Why on earth would your parents pay for something like that?"

With an eye roll I clarified. "I'm emancipated. My parents are dead, and I had the money." Jamey and Buffy, both looked shocked and on the verge of offering me their unsolicited condolences, so I rambled on. "Like I said before, I was at the game on Tuesday and my boyfriend, Mark, got really pumped up because I was there. He hit a homerun for me and they wound up winning. All they needed was a little support and they could do good. So, I came up with a plan to bring some more friends along for the ride."

Leaning back in my chair, I crossed my legs again. "As you can see, it worked." Pointing to the computer screen. "As you can also see, a lot of people are enamored with what's new. I'm new at the moment. So I took advantage of my current, short-lived, popularity."

"See?" Jamey said to Buffy. "We've got to have her. Do you know what chance I have at making the college team. Being the captain of this squad, with Casidhe's ideas, could almost guarantee a place."

"Pardon?"

I got Jamey's full attention. "Even colleges have a hard time with the minor sports. Football is easy. Everyone already comes to those games. If I could show that our attendance jumped this much because of the cheer squad…"

"Ah. Gotcha. No ulterior motives there."

"Frankly, Casidhe, I don't care one way or the other about how it happened," explained Buffy. "I just want it to keep happening and you are the go-to girl."

I gave her my wishy-washy look. Guaranteed to bring in extra incentive goodies. I already have a cheerleading outfit and the captain of the baseball team. What other benefits can I get. "I dunno."

"It'll guarantee you a place on the squad next year, and if you want to learn to cheer we can do that," Buffy offered.

More attention, and the opportunity to flash my spankies in front of thousands of people at football games? Not to mention the high percentage chance of a crippling neck injury? No thanks. She could see I wasn't going to be turned to the perky side.

"There are advantages to cheer squad." It was Jamey's turn to try and sell me. "You get to miss a lot of classes for pep rally's, and school sponsored trips. We went to Los Angeles this year for Nationals." She lurched forward and grabbed my hand. "Please Casidhe, for the sake of school spirit!"

And your own self interests, of course. I closed my eyes and held back the urge to rub them. There are disadvantages to wearing makeup. "Okay, on two conditions."

Buffy grinned at me nodded expectantly. "One, same deal with the parking lot party, concession wise. Everyone got a free Coke, hot dog, and a bag of peanuts."

"I was going to suggest that anyway," Buffy confirmed.

"And my cohorts in crime get to join as well." I pointed to Chloe and Ted on the screen. "They're the reason we had so much fun last night."

"Done."

I should have held out for more.

"I'm what."

"Chloe, you're a cheerleader. Get over it."

"But… but…"

"Nope, it was an all or nothing deal I made."

"I didn't even get to tryout."

"Did you want to try out?"

"Well, no."

"Well, there you go."

"I hate you."

"I found out you get to wear your outfit to school on game days."

Perk! "Oh, okay then."

"I'm a what?"

"A cheerleader."

"So the school will sanction me wearing those shorts and acting like a fool in the parking lot."

"Only if you keep shaving your legs. That was part of the deal, Ted."

Okay, so I fibbed a little. It was for a good cause.

"Uh…"

"So did you and Craig have fun last night?"

"…"

Putty in my hands.

Mark was late getting to school on Friday. Doctor's appointment; annual checkup. No need to worry. I saw him after lunch, and sister it was a sight to see. I had my back to the front doors as I was checking out the remaining baseball schedule and making notes. I scented him first, and then felt his presence. Was it some unknown superpower of mine finally revealing itself after a strong emotional connection we made last night? I'm sorry to say it wasn't.

He was standing about an inch away from me and luckily for me, Mark had an air conditioning vent at his back, blowing merrily away toward me. I spun around and my jaw fell off, I was grinning so wide.

"Hey baby." God, I love it when he calls me baby.

I jumped into his arms and sighed contently.

"Time!" Curse the school policy on public displays of affection! I screwed up my face and pulled back to give an unknown upper level teacher my discontented frown. A hug can last no more than three seconds. How am I supposed to give my man a proper hug with only three seconds!

"Walk you to class?"

With the evil minion teacher quickly forgotten, I eagerly nodded and bent to pick up my backpack. Mark grabbed it away from me and shifted it to his shoulder beside his own. With a thankful smile I threaded my hand with his. "I got news."

"What's up?"

"You are looking at Hildegard Desmond High's newest cheerleader." At his confused look I added, "I know, right?"

"I know I shouldn't ask, seeing as you can seem do anything you set your mind to, but how did you manage this one?"

I shrugged. "Seems that Ms. Carstairs, Buffy to her friends and cheer squad advisor, got wind of last night's parking lot party."

"Buffy?"

I patted his hand, locked with mine. "She was a product of the preppy eighties. Be kind."

With a conspiratorial nod he relented. "So, you impressed her so much…"

I shrugged. "She want to make a regular thing of it and make it school sponsored so it looks like it was a team idea, not to mention Jamey Buns Eaten wants to make it look like it was all her idea for her try-outs resume in college."

"Uh huh, it's all becoming much more clear."

We make it to my class and I sexily leaned back onto the wall outside the door, looking decidedly girlfriend'ish. "I get to wear my outfit on game days."

If I didn’t know any better I'd think a shiver just went down Mark's back. His eyes heated up, and with it the temperature in the hallway.

"Well then, I wholeheartedly approve."

With a grin I reached up and quickly kissed him. "I thought you might."

You know the best thing about Fridays? Well, no school is a really happy thought, but it's also tutoring day with my sweetie! Tutoring is so much more fun when he's laying back on the couch and I am firmly ensconced in his arms.

"You know…" kiss. "We really ought to…" kiss. "Get back to …" kiss. "What was I talking about?" Nuzzle. "…"

"My parents want you to come over for dinner tonight."

My eyes bug out and I smack him on the arm. "And you're just telling me now, why?!" I looked at my watch and see I we have about twenty minutes before his session is over. "Come on. Bring your stuff and we'll finish upstairs while I get ready."

A very quick kiss later and I'm racing upstairs to my closet with a trailing Mark Tanner close behind.

"Oh god what am I gonna wear?"

"Casidhe, it's just dinner." He dropped his book on the bed and casually lounged across the mattress. My mind went off into lala land for a moment, seeing him there, but I soon recovered and brought my attention back to the closet.

"It's dinner with your family and I want to make a good impression."

"My mom already loves you, and Dad thinks you're a riot."

Poking my head out of the closet I gave him a disbelieving, "Really?"

He nodded in conformation. "They haven't seen me this happy in a long time and they know you are the cause."

"Aww, that's sweet."

I settle for a fairly plain but elegant little black dress, and pulled it out, holding it in front of me. "What do you think? Too much?"

The look on his face was enough to tell me it was just right. "You're going to give my father convulsions in that."

I nodded once. "Just as long as I do the same for you then I think I'm cool."

"That dress and the word cool do not belong in the same sentence."

Isn't my boyfriend the best?

I disappear into the closet and dispense with my jeans and vee neck tee. "Sweetie, I forgot my panties."

"Best news I've heard all day."

"Stop." I giggled after. "They're in the top drawer on the left of my bureau. Please?"

I heard movement and then a drawer open. "What color?"

I thought about it for a second… not which color, but which particular design. "The black lace thong."

An arm appeared a few moments later. Hanging off of one finger was my selection. "You do know, of course that I'm extremely turned on at the moment. Guys normally don't get access to their girlfriend's panty drawer until at least the tenth date."

I snag them from his finger and grab his hand for good measure. "Well we're not like normal couples." Feeling the need to explain further I take that very same finger into my mouth and tongue the length before letting go and scampering back into the depths of the closet.

"Now that was just wrong," I hear from the bedroom. "My mind is going to be in the clouds during dinner."

"That was the point," I sing-song.

Donning my panties and tucking obtrusive things away, my eyes scan over my shoes selection. Oh, yes, a nice choice if I do say so. With heels in hand I exit the closet and see a conflicted Mark waiting on the bed with his arm covering his eyes, looking all put upon. He's such a drama king sometimes. I do notice a good deal of tenting in certain areas.

I cross the floor, noiselessly, open another drawer of my bureau and remove a package of black patterned hold ups. The dress comes to my knees so they should be fine. Mark's attention is on me now, watching my every move as I open the package and slide the first stocking up my right leg. He's entranced when I hike my dress up just a little and straighten the silicon stays located behind the lace tops.

"Like?"

I hear his mouth almost smack, knowing that it had gone dry. "Uh huh."

Sliding the second stocking on produced much the same results. The four inch slingbacks finished off the outfit. I stood and twirled around. "What do you think?"

He didn't answer for a few moments. "I think 'I' might just go into convulsions."

As I walked around the bed I saw him sit up and scoot to the edge, letting his legs hang off the side. He made room for me so that I could stand properly between those very same legs. I leaned, but not too far, as Mark is amazingly tall, even sitting on a bed, and I gave him a soul searing kiss.

When I pulled away and stood back up, I grinned. "I have to fix my make up. Can you go downstairs into the cellar and choose a wine for us to bring to dinner?"

He nodded dumbly. "Uh huh."

I sat at the make up table and heard a slight groan. "Casidhe?"

"Yeah, baby?" I can call him baby too. Isn't it neat?

"Which wine? I know virtually nothing about wine."

"Oh, no problem. What's for dinner?"

"Hold on." He reappeared at the bedroom door with his cell phone in hand. After a few moments he looked at ease. "Hi Mom. Yeah, well be there in…" Mark looked at me and I mouth 'fifteen'. " About fifteen minutes. "Casidhe wants to know what we're having for dinner so that she can bring the wine."

I watched him absorbing the menu and in turn relate it to me. "Roasted Peppers and Mozzarella for appetizers, garden salad, Penne alla Vodka for an entrée, and Crá¨me Brulee for desert."

I sat there with my mouth open, nodding slightly.

"Okay Mom, see you in a few."

After he hung up I gave him my # 7 evil eyes. "I'm going to beat you."

"What?" He tired to look so innocent standing there.

"Your parents are serving a four course meal and you give me twenty minutes to get ready?"

"Casidhe, you're gorgeous. You're always gorgeous. It doesn’t matter what other people think."

Oh you poor delusional boy. I roll my eyes. "Get two bottles of the Ruffino Greppone Mazzi, 2001. White and black label to the right of the door as you go in."

I make a mad rush darkening my eyes and lips. Thickening my eyeliner just a tad and a fresh application of mascara and I'm ready by time Mark gets back holding one of the bottles up for inspection. I give him a finger… no, not that one. The one that says wait a second while I retrieve a slightly damp towel to clean off the thin layer of dust that had accumulated over the last few years.

"Perfect."

"Really Casidhe, you don't need to do this. They like you."

I set the bottles on the bed, and turned to Mark. "Sweetie, I want them to love me. I want to make a really good impression. You're important to me, and I don't want to give them any reason to think I'm after you for… ulterior reasons."

He took me lightly by the arms. "They don't think that. I've already told them about you. That's why they wanted to have you to dinner. You're the first that they've every done that for."

Butterflies go off in my tummy. "All the more reason."

He chuckled lightly for me, and the smile he had set his eyes sparkling. "Just be yourself and they'll love you as much as I…"

You couldn't have stunned me any better if you were holding a taser.

"I m-mean…" he stammered.

"Don't ruin the moment," I whispered. "Kiss me."

My hands slid up around his neck and I was lost a half-second after.

"I'm going to be underdressed."

I was star struck, looking out the windshield of his viper, almost oblivious as to what was going on. "Hmm?"

"Mom and Dad always dress for dinner, even when Casey and I don't."

I looked at him and glanced again to what I was wearing. "Do you have a dark green or blue button down?"

"Both."

"Good. Go with the green, and black slacks. Appropriate shoes, of course."

"Of course." He smiled for a second. "Why green?"

"So we'd match. I'm a red head in case you haven't noticed, and you'd look yummy in green."

He nodded in agreement. "Green it is."

Breathe Casidhe. Just breathe.

Susan met us at the front door, smiling conspiratorially. "Casidhe, welcome to our home. You look beautiful."

"Thank you, Mrs. Tanner, you too. I love your shoes." I did. You just can't go wrong with Jimmy Choo.

She leaned in and kissed my cheek. It was a good thing that my make up was darker. I had a feeling I would be blushing throughout the evening."

"Oh, let me take that off your hands."

I handed her a small basket I wrangled up, that held both bottles of wine. "Oh, Ruffino. You shouldn't have, Casidhe, but I'm glad you did. I haven't had any since the last time Michael and I were in Italy."

Mark looked pleased. "Mom, I'm gonna go change for dinner. Would you mind keeping an eye on Casidhe?"

Susan looked almost shocked for a second. "Of course. Take your time, Mark. We'll be in the lounge."

And he was off, running up the stairs. Followed closely by my smile.

"Have you substituted my son with a pod person?"

"Pardon?" I almost laughed, but considering my current mode of dress I toned it down to a confused smile.

"Mark never — ever, dresses for dinner."

Glancing up the stairs where he disappeared, I smiled sweetly. "He's trying to impress me. Thing is, I was always impressed with him. You have raised a wonderful man, Mrs. Tanner."

"Okay, enough with the Mrs. Tanner nonsense. I'm Susan to you.

"Susan. Thank you."

She took my hand in hers. "Off to the lounge we go. We have to give this red some time to breathe."

I was sitting in a very ornate armchair chatting along nicely with Susan when the door opened and he entered. I think my pulse sped up a tad too fast at the sight of the emerald green button down stretched across Mark's chest. I really don't remember getting to my feet and meeting him in only two steps.

"You look…" I swallowed very shallowly. "Very handsome."

"Only because you're standing next to me."

Oh my god. If I were watching us up on the big screen I would probably die of sugar overload, but having that response said to me, in person, made my knees weak. I broke my gaze away from his, because if I didn't, then Susan was about to get quite an eyeful.

Instead I caught her covering her mouth with delighted mirth, and then look away busying herself, finding imaginary lint or some such other.

"Casidhe," she strategically interrupted. "How about we try out that Ruffino?"

Mark's hand found mine and I nodded. "Sounds great."

When presented with half a glass I took it gratefully. It had been a while since I had had any. Gramps insisted on including it in my social education. At least once a week we would have a different wine with dinner. He would go on and on about the grapes used and the vicinity of the world that they were grown. I looked at the deep red, my emotions turning slightly melancholy.

"Casidhe?" Mark sounded slightly concerned.

I looked up at him, glassy-eyed. "Sorry, I was just thinking about Gramps. He's the one that taught me about wine."

Susan stood behind the bar as she handed Mark his half-full glass as well. "Would you mind telling us what he said about the Ruffino?"

I smiled as I remembered the lesson. "Tuscany. It's quite an acidic grape with a strawberry like taste in its youth." I swirled it around a little and after closing my eyes, breathed in the earthy scent. "You'll find it has a velvety sweet, fruity taste that delights the palate, with hints of rosemary and thyme. This counters the garlic and peppers in tonight's dishes quite well. So feel free to show your loved ones appreciation without fear of rejection."

Opening my eyes, I saw Susan's delighted grin. "Oh, sorry. I forgot myself."

Her eyes turned to her son. "Mark, if you ever let Casidhe go, I will beat you — severely."

"Point taken," he responded with a little bit of humor in his voice. His hand slid around my waist and he lightly touched his glass to mine. "To the future."

I did it! Thorough an entire evening with in-laws, um, boyfriend in-laws? What the heck do you call your boyfriend's parents? The friend-laws? That doesn’t sound right. I must investigate post haste!

"What are you thinking about?" asked Mark with just a touch of need in his voice.

My smile still hadn't receded from when I said good night to Susan and Michael. "I'm thinking about how much I love your parents."

He sighed with a little relief. "I was afraid they would scare you off."

My head snapped around. "Are you kidding? They're great! I can see a lot of your dad in you. He's quite the charmer."

"Should I be worried?"

I shrugged to the side a little. "If I were twenty years older, definitely. But I like the younger guys, so you'll have to do for now."

"Well, don't feel like you have to settle." A little smirk made his cheek twitch, so I leaned over and kissed it, smartly.

"There is no settling where you are concerned. There is only wanting with a side order of needing."

Mark spared a half-second's attention away from the road and gave me a quick peck on the lips.

When we arrived back home, he escorted me to the front. I entered and disarmed the alarm, turning back to see him at the frame of the door. "Would you like to come in for some coffee or… something else?"

His eyes took me in for the thousandth time that night. "If I do, I'd never be able to leave again."

The click of my heels on the hard wood floors was the only sound lightly echoing in the room, until I came to a stop right in front of him. With the added few inches height, being inside, I could almost meet Mark eye to eye. "Who said I ever wanted you to leave?"

"Casidhe," he breathed my name, and I didn't want to ever hear anything else ever again.

"Kiss me, Mark. Please."

His hands appeared from nowhere to brace my neck and my jaw line. Thumbs brushing ever so lightly over my cheeks left me without any breath in my body until he slowly closed the distance. A rush of air entered my mouth bringing with it his scent, and the added flavor of the last glass of Ruffino we shared for the evening.

My heart pounded in my chest and I wanted nothing more than for Mark to sweep me up, off my feet and take me to bed, but I would settle for his lips against mine.

His kiss was light, tender, almost heartbreakingly beautiful. I was torn against grabbing him and pulling him inside or just standing there touching his chest while he devoured me with his kiss.

I don't remember running my fingers through his hair. I don't remember pulling him in, wanting him to bruise my lips with his. I just recall feeling right for the first time in my life. Everything was coming together. I don't know if what I was feeling for Mark was love, but if it wasn't then I was well and truly screwed, because I was already lost in him.

"I love you, Casidhe."

Oh my god.

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

---

 
Part 14

"I love you, Casidhe."

Oh my god.

If my heart beat any harder I might have needed a cardiologist in the near future.

"I..I…" I apparently can't speak properly anymore.

"You don't have to say anything right now. In fact, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't say anything positive or negative."

My eyebrows went into confusion mode. "Why?"

"Because, if you say you love me too, then I'll probably do something that neither of us is ready for, and if you say you don't or that you want to slow down, then I'll be a useless lump of flesh for the next year." I made to respond, but he kissed me again, just a peck. "I just wanted to let you know how I felt."

I made my decision, spur of the moment, and stepped back, opening the door further. "Come in, Mark."

He shook his head in regret. "I don't want to screw us up."

Determination set in my face. "We need to talk and I'd like to get out of these heels, so you can come inside, or I can suffer while we stand here. Appealing to his more chivalrous side, I won. It was a little victory, I know, but sometimes the little victories are what make life worth living.

"I'm sorry." He stepped inside and I closed the door behind him.

"Don't apologize, baby. Most guys don't wear heels, so they can't really understand that they sometimes hurt after prolonged wear."

I watched him for a second, specifically his hands. The fingers twitched a little before he noticed what I was looking at and disappeared them in his pockets. Trying not to let him see that I was affected by his nervousness I crossed the living room and turned on a light before sitting down on the couch. Mark followed a few seconds after and I saw his indecisive gaze linger on one of the armchairs before reacting to my subtle patting on the couch beside me.

The air had grown with tension and I couldn't take it anymore. "Mark, sit by me, please," I almost pleaded.

Being the gentleman he was, it didn't take long for him to comply. While he was trying to look casual, I reached down to slip off the slingbacks and curl my stocking clad feet underneath me.

"Talk to me. Tell me what's going on in your head."

His eyes fluttered close and I thought he was going to make a run for it; anything to avoid the impending conversation. I saw that I had made things extremely uncomfortable, and regretted that.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't fair to you." His eyes opened back up and he looked at me with a tinge of relief. "Let me tell you what's going on in my head and we'll take it from there, okay?"

Mark nodded and the tension in his shoulders eased. I looked toward the kitchen and suddenly craved a Coke, but I held back. This needed to be done tonight, or at least started tonight anyway.

"Remember when we first met?"

He nodded.

"That's when I fell for you."

Mark blinked his eyes once and they widened a bit afterward.

"It was when you picked up my sandal and put it back on my foot. It was incredibly sweet of you." Without pausing for a reaction I continued. "But you were a senior and I was a lowly sophomore, not to mention the possessive girlfriend that was pulling you away at the time.

"Chloe and I talked after. I was all gooey-eyed and sighing in quite the Jane Austin way, and she set me straight. I was the new girl, and half the female population of Desmond already had the hots for you. I didn't stand a chance. So I moved on."

He made to interrupt me, but I held up my hand. "You didn't want to go first, so you have to wait now."

A nod of acceptance, and I leaned my head to the back of the couch. "Over the last four months I got to know you. Not only how dedicated you are to your schooling, but I got to know the guy behind all of the flash of baseball captain, and upper crust family, not to mention the body of a Greek god and eyes that make me want to melt every five seconds I'm around you."

I stopped for a moment and gave him a wispy smile. "I got to see that you were thoughtful, courteous, very funny, and a hopeless romantic. So what's a girl to do but fall in love?"

I leaned back as he made his move to kiss me. It took all of my willpower to do it, but I put a hand in between us. "Sorry, you have to hear the whole thing first."

Seeing the internal conflict he was suffering I tried to speed things along. "So then we come to your parents. From what I remember, they were a lot like my parents. I can see how much they love you and want what is best for you."

"What do you mean?" he asked. "Did they say something I missed?"

I looked away, to the coffee table. "While you were upstairs getting ready, your mom and I had a talk."

"Oh no."

With a somewhat repressed giggle, I clarified. "It wasn't anything bad. No baby photos were involved. She just wanted to know a little bit about me and what I had planned for the future."

Raking his hand over his mouth let me know that Mark wanted me to get on with it and hit him with the worst of the news.

"I could see the wheels turning in her head, Mark. She's already planning the wedding." I smiled at him with my own conspiratorial grin. "It's okay, moms do this. It doesn’t mean anything except that she approves of me. But it got me thinking about the future."

"Casidhe," he poked in. "I'm in no rush. You're only sixteen. I don't expect…"

"Shh! I'm not finished."

"Right, sorry."

I clasped my hands together and intertwined my fingers. "I want you to think about something, very carefully." He confirmed his acquiescence. "Let's say for argument's sake that a few years down the road we were to get married, okay?" He nodded. "You are the only male child in your family. I won't be able to give you any children."

"Casidhe, that doesn't…"

"Sush! I'm still not finished." Easing the grip I had on each of my hands was important, because they were beginning to hurt. "It does matter. You are going to make a fabulous father one of these days, Mark, but I'll never be able to be the one to make that happen for you."

"Casidhe, I'm adopted."

Why does this keep happening to me? I go all into the self sacrificing rant mode and I keep getting cut off because I've gone in the completely wrong direction.

Tears raced down my cheek and I made some incomprehensible noise before Mark pulled me into him. My fingernails dug into his shirt, and I barely kept it together. "I love you so much, Mark. It's driving me nuts."

"Shh, it's okay," he breathed into my hair.

"We haven't even gone out for our second date! I shouldn't be feeling this much."

I saw him reach over to the side table, and soon thereafter a tissue appeared in my field of vision.

"Casidhe, my parents met when they were on separate vacations in Hawaii. For almost two weeks they got to know each other, which mainly, to my horror I found out, consisted of a lot of sex."

I giggled and sniffled at the same time. I don't recommend trying this at home.

"She came back here, and Dad went back to Chicago. A month later he packed everything he owned and moved here to finish college and to be next to her." Mark petted my hair soothingly. It was starting to become one of my favorite pastimes. "Love sometimes happens that fast, and it's intense when it does. But we've got a couple of years before you finish school and go to college. We can wait and make sure what we feel isn't hormones. But it doesn't stop us from enjoying the moment."

Susan's gonna kill him. I remember my nose itched, and then waking up in his arms, on the couch. It was after two in the morning and we had fallen asleep. I shook Mark's shoulder. "Baby, wake up."

Mark snorted a little and shifted until his eyes opened in confusion. "Cas…?"

I unfurled my legs and stood up a bit shakily. "You can't go home this late." Holding my hand out I gave him a grab hold gesture. "Let's go to bed."

He tried to blink away his sleepiness. "Are you sure, Casidhe?"

I nodded. "I think we're both too tired to do anything naughty anyway. So, there's no getting out of being in my bed tonight, baby."

We retreated upstairs and I washed my face while Mark was settling himself in an unfamiliar bed. After changing into my babydoll with matching panties, I flipped off the light to the bathroom and entered the darkness of my bedroom. I could see Mark's outline in the dim light that sifted through one of the windows and chose the opposite side of the bed.

Remembering a magazine article in some airport a few years back, I smiled. It said that men naturally slept closest to the door in case they had to defend their women in the middle of the night.

"Are you sure you want me in here. I can sleep in another bed…"

"You are kidding, right? We're young and in love. We have the house all to ourselves and you want to sleep in another bed?" I kidded him playfully.

I pulled the covers down and climbed in. "If you think I am letting this chance go by without taking full advantage of the situation then you aren't as smart as I thought you were." I paused for a second before a thought came to me. "What are you wearing underneath those covers?"

"Um, my t-shirt and slacks."

I giggled, just a little bit. "Mark, I promise I won't attack you. Underwear is more than enough."

"But…"

"Strip mister, before I wake up anymore and keep you up all night."

I savored the next moments as any girl would. He tossed the covers back and stood beside the bed, peeling his slacks off. The moonlight wouldn't reveal the color of said underwear, but I could tell it was the sporty kind that had a strip of elastic on the sides instead of the complete tighty-whitey variety. Trying not to stare was becoming a chore. Instead I tore my eyes away and watched as he pulled off his tee and set it aside.

He moved rather slowly, indicating his comfort with me seeing his body. Why would he be uncomfortable? He knew what I thought of him. The fact that I had an almost constant desire to lick every… okay get off that topic, Casidhe. Sleep.

Mark got back into bed and adjusted his pillow for maximum fluffiness and then I slid in and hitched my leg over his and my arm across his chest. I sighed deeply. This is what every evening should be like. "Perfect."

"Yeah."

To my knowledge I haven't slept with somebody in the bed with me since I was about five, and woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. It was my mother then that came to my rescue. From what I remember, the feeling of waking up and seeing my mother's smiling face was absolutely nothing in comparison to seeing Mark's.

I was laying in the crook of his arm, against his chest and he was doing his best to watch me. An embarrassed smile slid across my face and I rubbed at my nose before lightly patting him on his chest. "Quit looking at me. I've got to be major league scary in the mornings."

"I don't see how you do this," he said low, but not in a whisper, almost like he didn't want to break the sanctity of the moment. "Every day we've been together you get more and more beautiful."

Reaching across his chest I pulled myself into him even more, tangling our legs together and snuggling my head under his chin. "Keep talking like that and you'll be stuck with me forever."

My eyes sprang open and I tensed. "Sorry, jumping the gun a little there."

"It's okay." His hand ran down my back, comforting me. "I think it's natural, planning for the future. I mean we wouldn't be dating otherwise, right?"

Letting my hand go in exploration of my boyfriend's chest with a single finger I asked, "How do you mean?"

He composed himself in thought. "The whole point with dating is to search for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. At least it's that way with me."

"Me too."

"Good. So I don't mind talk of the future. It gives us a chance to let each other know what to expect."

I thought on that. "Give me a 'for instance'."

"Hmm, okay. I'm going to say for argument's sake, from here on out, that in a few year's time I propose, we get married, and settle down. Whatever context settling down means."

I nodded and found myself tracing the lines of his pectoral muscles. "Okay. Sounds reasonable."

"So, at some point I want to have children. I assume we'll adopt."

"Naturally."

"How many kids do you want?"

I let out a puff of warm air across his chest in a slight giggle. "Um… at least three."

"Three?"

"Four?" I countered.

He chuckled, which was a wonderful sound, hearing it directly from his chest.

"I was an only child. Maybe it's because of that. I couldn't imagine a more happier sound than having an armful of children laughing with me," I explained.

I felt him nod. "Okay, four kids."

"You do realize that we haven't even officially gone on our second date yet, and here we are in bed, after an emotional evening, sorting out the rest of our lives?"

"You forgot that we are still both teenagers," he countered.

"Good point."

"How about we go on that second date. It is Saturday, after all."

My knee hiked up a little and I felt something… whoops. "Sorry."

"It's natural, happens every morning."

"Every morning?" That was something that I didn't know. Must be a guy thing that I never experienced.

"Uh huh."

"And do you have to do anything to make it go away?"

"Go to the bathroom."

Ah! It's one of 'those' physical male things. Since voiding his bladder made the Louisville Slugger go away I deduced his prostate was being stimulated with pressure from his bladder. But that didn't explain why I never got erections. Not that I ever wanted one. Blech. How do guys even put up with something going all hard at the slightest reason. That had to be uncomfortable.

"Well, I suppose I should let you take care of that. Then we get to go over to your place and explain to your mother how you took advantage of me last night."

His hands jumped to my sides and started dancing around on my ribs. A loud shriek rent the air as I was definitely not used to being tickled, especially first thing in the morning. On the other hand, trying to respond by tickling Mark was like trying to tickle a large piece of granite. Sometimes life was so unfair.

The look we received, from Susan, upon entrance through the back door was odd, to say the least. It wasn't accusatory in the slightest bit. I think I would describe it as, 'I know what you two have been up to, don't think I don't,' mixed with, 'I'm waiting for an answer before I pass judgment,' with just a dash of, 'you kids are so cute that I am going to laugh myself silly listening to what you are about to make up.'

I push Mark ahead and give him a nod. "Go shower and change. I'll talk with your mother."

"But…"

"This is a ladies only conversation, Mark. You haven't been certified yet to know what goes on in the girls bathroom much less with mother/girlfriend talks."

"Oh," he said in understanding, only to look more confused than ever. "What?"

I pulled him down and kissed him with a smile. "Go on."

He disappeared and I turned back to Susan, who was sitting there in a very nice silk robe, sipping on a mug of coffee, giving me a very amused looked. She held up her mug and offered. "Coffee?"

I looked around. "Thank you. Just point me and I can get it."

She gestured to her left and I saw the half empty carafe and a heating pad on the counter.

"So?"

I had my back to her as I filled a mug I snagged off of a nearby mug tree and added one sugar. "Susan. I love your son."

Waiting for a response was almost brutal, but I did, busying myself with a stir stick.

"I know."

Releasing a breath I took another before trudging on. "Has he told you about my medical condition?"

"A little. He told Michael and I about your parents, and that you were injured at the time."

I sipped at the coffee. Mmm, Starbucks Morning Blend. Turning around, I made my way back to the counter and took one of the empty stools. After setting my coffee down I looked up at her. All previous emotion was wiped from her face.

"On a related matter, I can't have sex… at least not until my operation at the end of the year."

She reared her head back a little and nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "It's not your fault. No need to be sorry. I just wanted to tell you that so that you don't think ill of Mark staying over last night."

Susan blinked a little, unsure of what to say.

"When we got home we had a very emotional little talk, and as a result fell asleep on the couch. I woke up around two'ish and dragged him up to a proper bed."

She smiled in response to that and then stopped. "Did the two of you sleep together?"

I didn't wait, to let her know that I wasn't making this up as I went along. "He was every bit a gentleman, but I wanted to know what it felt like waking up in his arms."

My face started to radiate a little heat. I knew it was starting to redden.

"Mark told me that you live by yourself."

I nodded. "Gramps made sure I was emancipated after his death. I've been alone since the end of November."

"So, in the eyes of the law, you are an adult?"

Again I nodded. "For almost everything, yes."

She sipped at her coffee. "Mark is eighteen. Other than living in this house and abiding by the rules his father and I set down, he's free to make his own decisions." After clearing her throat a little she continued. "That does not mean that I won't give unsolicited advice or tell him when he is wrong."

My hands worried at the handle of the mug I was nervously turning around in a circle. "If what I've seen from Mark is any indication of what you and Michael are capable of in terms of raising a son, then I'd want to hear your opinion on what we did."

Susan's head tilted a little to the side. "I've never seen Mark so happy." She got up and walked over to the carafe to top off her mug. "Don't get me wrong. He was always a happy child growing up. We were amazingly lucky that he turned out that way he did. But since, oh I'd say around February or so, his attitude has changed."

Which coincides amazingly with the downfall of the Ex-girlfriend from the Black Lagoon.

"In what way?"

"He's surprisingly serious about his life now." She smiled a little in remembrance. "He's making plans for college and has been very talkative with his father about life. I think we have you to thank for this."

My head dropped and my face finished its journey into the lava pit.

"So you can see my dilemma." Retaking her seat, she set her mug down. "Do I act all motherish and annoying, or do I encourage you two to continue the path that you are on? Both of you are still quite young, but seem well beyond the normal stages of the typical High School crush."

I nodded and tried to lower the blood level to my face. "That's one of the things that Mark and I spoke about last night and this morning."

"Any conclusions?" she asked with great interest right before sipping on her freshly filled mug.

"We both want four children."

I couldn't help it. It just came out. I had to dodge pretty quickly to avoid the spray of coffee. Just at that point Michael strolled through the kitchen door and stopped. "Darling, why are you spitting coffee all over Casidhe?"

Susan gave me my #2 Death Stare. Hey, that's patented! It morphed into Delighted Vengeful Glare #4 otherwise known as the, 'you asked for it, sucker.' Oh no!

"It seems that Casidhe and Mark are planning on making us grandparents earlier than we thought."

"You're pregnant!" came a little preteen girl's voice from behind Michael.

"What?!" Oh sure, why not add Mark to the mix as well.

Susan looked well and truly pleased with her parry of my 'coffee spray ploy' and countered with the 'embarrassed in front of the entire family decapitation scenario.' I was in the presence of a true master of the art! Should I grovel and ask her forgiveness, or perhaps counter with one of my more lethal jabs, or … oh, I know.

I palmed my hands together and bent deeply at the waist. "I am at your mercy, Madame Vengeance. Can this unworthy girl be found moderately talented enough to study the ancient art of verbal swordplay at your side?"

She eyed me for a second and then reached into her robe pocket to produce something. Unfurling her fingers I saw what it was and sucked in a sharp breath.

"If you can take the scrunchie from my hand, you will be found worthy, young one."

Lightening quick I whipped my hand out but was denied when she jerked away. "Sucker!"

GAAAAAH!!!

"Does this mean you aren't pregnant?"

After giving Susan a playful glare I finally answered Casey. "No, sweetie. I'm not. Mommy was just playing around with Daddy, and used me as her foil because she has a drinking problem."

Touché! Haw haw, Now run away or I shall taunt you a second time! Pfft!

"Casidhe O'Connor!" she replied in a loud disapproving voice, but not quite.

I grabbed my boyfriend. "Hurry Mark, make a break for it! I'll hold her off! I've got the coffee held hostage." I grabbed my stir stick and held it up to the carafe. "Nobody moves or the Starbucks Morning Blend gets it."

"Now that's just playing dirty," shot Susan.

I eyed her warily and then arched an eyebrow. "Truce?"

Uh oh, the, 'can I get her with one more' tongue on the corner of her mouth pose. So, I poked the carafe.

"Fine. Truce, for now, young upstart. One day you will be mine."

Dropping the stir stick I reached up to Mark. "Yea!" I kissed him on the cheek. "The student has become the master."

Susan giggled, just a little. "Come on Darth Casidhe. Help me clean up for breakfast."

Michael looked at Susan and then at me. "Both of you are insane, you know this, right."

I shrug, more than pleased. "That's the way Mark likes me."

I was assigned to cutting the vegetables, while Susan worked on the omelet base. The boys were setting the breakfast table in the next room and drinking coffee.

I was the little woman in the kitchen with her prospective 'maybe someday mother in law' helping to prepare breakfast!

"What are you all happy about?" asked Susan with genuine happy curiosity.

I looked away from the pepper I was dicing to her face. "I…"

She stopped beating the eggs and set her hand on my forearm. "Casidhe?"

My eyes burned for a second. I knew they were going glassy. "I'm sorry." A quick sniff later and I unburdened myself. "I’m just very happy right now. All of you have been so wonderful…"

Setting down the bowl, Susan took me in her arms and squeezed me, lovingly. "And we're happy to have you with us. You make us very happy too, Casidhe."

I tried to breathe through the emotions welling up inside, but it was no use. "It's been so long," I quietly sobbed. "I miss my mom and dad."

"Oh sweetie." Her arms tightened and eased the pain that had built up for so many years in my chest. "Well, you're stuck with us. We're your family, now." She reared back a little and held me by the shoulders. "Even if things," she shrugged and winced a little. "Even if things don't eventually work out between you and Mark, you can come to us."

That did it. Tears poured rivers down my face, and I could see that it was having an effect on Susan as well. She was good people. Very good people.

"Now, before you have me totally lose it, go clean yourself up and take a minute, okay?"

I gave her my most complying smile, and after grabbing my purse, followed her directions to the closest restroom, down the hall, off the kitchen. Looking at my self in the large oval mirror, I cringed. It wasn't awful, thanks to the waterproof mascara, but I was smudged and red eyed.

A few cleansing breaths later, I turned the cold water on and dabbed at my face to remove the worst of the damage. A few minutes later, I wasn't perfect, the red eyes and all, but I was repaired. I turned the water off and heard whispering on the other side of the door. Maybe they weren't aware of it, but the walls and door in that particular restroom were amazingly paper thin. Holding my purse against my chest I leaned into the door and concentrated my hearing on what was being said.

"… serious, Mark. She's in a very fragile state right now. If you aren't one hundred percent serious about pursuing her right now, then I want you to break it off."

"Mom, I am serious. She's great!"

"I know."

Gah! Something was said too low for me to hear." … is in love with you and it would piss me off to no end to find out that you had been stringing her along."

"I'm not. I love her, Mom."

Dammit! My eyes are burning again!

"… after only four months."

"… you and Dad… two weeks."

"Good point."

The conversation paused for a couple of moments. "I need to go get breakfast ready. Take as much time as she needs. I'll keep it warm for you."

With one more cleansing breath, I checked my face once more and then opened the door. He was leaning against the wall opposite the restroom looking concerned, and stood straight when I emerged.

"Sorry," I said with more than a little embarrassment. "Everything just rushed up and smacked me in the head."

He didn't say a word about being silly, and instead closed the distance between us and took me in his arms. "I love you, you know that, right?"

I gave him one really good squeeze and then backed away, quickly fanning my hands at my eyes. "Don't make me cry again, Mark."

Maybe these hormones I was taking weren't worth all of the emotional upheaval I had been experiencing over the last week. I swear, the last five years I hadn't cried once, and now I was like a leaky faucet all the time.

"I'm sorry."

A little hiccup jarred me and I giggled. "It's nothing to be sorry about, sweetie. I haven't been so happy since before my parents… you know."

He nodded. "Sure."

"I guess it was just too much." I ran my free hand across his chest in circles. "Your mom and I, in the kitchen making breakfast for you and your dad… and Casey too. It felt very… right, I guess. Very domesticated. Like I was the little woman and you were my husba…" My eyes widened at what was spewing from my lips. "And I'm probably scaring the hell out of you right now."

A bark of laughter burst forth from his lips. I was in his arms again, melting from the love the Tanner family had shown me. It was too perfect, too storybook. It most definitely had to be a dream, but if it was then god help me if I ever woke up, because I wouldn't be able to go on if it all was imaginary.

The omelets were perfect, the juice perfect, the side of bacon more meat and not so much fat — perfect, and the cheerful company — surreal. As I waited for Mark to circle the Viper, after opening my door for me, I realized how emotionally exhausted I already felt, and it was only nine in the morning!

Mark made himself comfortable and made sure I was buckled in before securing himself and putting the car into gear. Before he released his hold on the brake I set my hand against his. He was content and ready for a day with his girlfriend. I could almost see the satisfaction on his face.

"Thank you for sharing your family with me."

It looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't know exactly how to put it into words, instead the sides of his lips curled slightly. "Are you ready?"

I nodded and squeezed his hand before retrieving mine, and leaned back for where he was taking me, because this was going to be the best day of my life.

"Minigolf?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with minigolf?"

I giggled. "Absolutely nothing. It's brilliant, actually."

"I know," he said in a self-congratulatory way. My boyfriend is a little goofy sometimes, but it was endearing. "Besides, nothing cool opens until eleven so we need to work up an appetite for lunch."

"Wonderful reasoning, baby." I had to stick it to him a little. "You do know that the mall opens at ten and Macy's is having a sale today?"

He swallowed dramatically, it was more of a gulp. "We… could go… shopping if you want."

I grabbed a hold of his upper arm and pulled him down for a kiss. "I'm kidding. I'm not quite the clothes hound Chloe is." As a flirty afterthought I added, "Though I could use some more lingerie. Did you like the babydoll I wore last night?"

"Uh huh." Good, I have him speechless.

"I was thinking something along the lines of a corset, and …"

"Baby, I'm not going to be able to play right if I'm thinking of you dressed like that."

With a naughty grin I laughed lightly. "My point exactly."

Mark sooooo let me win. How do I know? On the fifth hole I was distracted by a pretty waterfall on an upcoming course, but managed to see him bank three times off opposing walls to hole the ball with the first shot. He looked satisfied, but not ecstatic like I was when I made a hole in one by accident on the second hole. Isn't he sweet!

Afterward, we went down to the boardwalk where they had live music by an outdoor Cajun restaurant. I was treated to a very messy meal of boiled crawfish, new potatoes, and corn on the cob. Mark taught me how to peel the disgusting things and suck their heads to remove the juice. I squealed in fright, but had the most fun helping him remove the spicy juices dripping from his mouth. I may have used my own mouth at the time, but I think it was worth it in the end.

"I think I'm going to explode. I'm bloated."

"So, no cotton candy?"

With our fingers laced, my hand felt tiny in comparison to his, but I squeezed hard anyway. There was no way I could actually hurt him, even if I wanted. I squeezed out a plea. "Share with me?"

Mark just rolled his eyes a little and smiled. Yeah, I can be goofy too. I spotted an unoccupied bench close by. "I need to put on a little sunscreen. I don't want to freckle up."

He nodded. "I'll be right back."

Retrieving a tube of odorless sunscreen from my purse I slipped off my sandal and spread a good sized dollop down my leg, careful to make sure I was completely covered. This was the one problem with being fair skinned and a red head. Freckles. The make up I was wearing insured my face was safe since it included a blocker in the mix, but my arms and legs were in danger from exposure, not to mention my tummy. It was amazing how much skin girls actually showed in relation to boys.

My shorts barely inched past my butt, unlike Mark's which were past his knees, and the tee I chose for the day bottomed out at the lowest rib in my chest, so I was showing quite a lot of belly considering the shorts were also low rise. Thank goodness I regularly shaved the small amount of hair I grew down below, or I'd be quite the slut today.

I looked up before switching to my left leg to repeat the process and saw Mark watching me with avid interest from the cotton candy vendor's cart. He had chosen blue and was standing there holding a single paper cone looking thingie with a mountain of puff on top. I gave him a tooth filled smile and finger waved.

Stretching out my left leg, I gave him a bit of a show, now that I knew what held his attention. I had almost forgot: eyes, butt, and legs were his thing. So I lightly covered my foot and then slipped it back into the sandal, and then stood up to turn around, like I needed somewhere to set the tube of sunscreen. I bent over at the waist and slid my hands down my leg, rubbing the sunscreen over my thigh and spending an inordinate amount of time on my calf and ankle, before straightening out and turning back around.

Whoops.

Mark was about five feet away holding only the paper cone thingie. The cotton candy was on the ground beside him. My shorts felt a little weird and I reached back to tug them down. I knew they were too short. I hope my cheeks didn't escape so I didn't show too much… really. I do know that my thong was firmly embedded in my butt at the moment, but pulling that out would probably be kind of rude in public.

I looked down at the blue confection beside Mark's foot and I may have smiled a little. "Distracted?"

"That was evil."

"Uh huh." Going up on my toes I kissed him and whispered in his ear. "Just remember. What you saw is all yours."

"Here you go dude. Completely understandable." I looked around Mark and saw the vendor holding out another cone of cotton candy. I thanked him with a bright smile. Guys are just too easy.

We walked to a nearby park and watched kids fight for dominance at the playground swings and massive fort built just for them, and then sat and watched the ducks swim by in the large pond in the center of the park. We may or may not have made out for a short time on that bench. I didn't want to scare the kiddies after all.

The day was simple and sweet. We didn't do anything over the top, just spending time getting to know one another was enough, and I was cemented into being his girl for as long as he'd have me. If he were to have pulled out a ring and proposed I probably would have said yes. That's how far gone I am. Stupid and immature? Probably. Love sick and overly emotional? Most assuredly. Well in the deep end, over my head in delusional lala land. Beyond question.

Young and in love with no care in the world? Without any doubt whatsoever.

My eyes were closed almost the entire way home, but a smile graced my face in memory of the single perfect day. Fantasies coursed through my head of fantastic futures and even more days like the one we had experienced: Having the operation and finding out I had been a real girl all along, it all being a huge mistake; making love with Mark in front of a soft fire in some mountain cabin; becoming pregnant and giving birth to our first child and breastfeeding him as my husband watched on in awe; growing old, but staying young in heart; watching our children graduate…

But then it all was interrupted by a loud screech and darkness.

"Mark…" Ugh. My throat was raw and my voice horse, deeper than normal.

"Casidhe?" a familiar young voice whispered.

The smell of antiseptic filled my nose. That was familiar as well. I tried opening my eyes but one of them was covered. The other crusted close from too much sleep.

"Casey?"

I felt her take my left hand. "Stay still, I'll be right back."

My fingers gripped her hand and I wouldn't let go. "No… what happened," I rasped. "Where's Mark?"

My other hand wouldn't move right as I tried to wipe at my eye so I could see.

"I'll go get Mom and Dad. They went down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. I promised I'd get them if you woke up."

I released her hand and dug at my eye as I heard Casey dart from the room. Dammit! I was in the hospital. What happened? Where was Mark? Clearing away most of the crap in my free eye I was able to blink my vision to a semblance of normal.

My right arm was in a cast past my elbow and from the feel of my face, I probably had a head injury. Mark would tell me what happened.

"Mark?"

I turned my head, and my vision swam. The knot growing in my stomach hurt and was getting worse.

"Mark?" I whispered to the empty room.

Someone came into the room that I didn't recognize. He was wearing blue scrubs and had a stethoscope hanging out of his pocket. "Miss O'Connor. It's good to see you back with us."

"Where's Mark?" I asked, bordering on the edge of panic. Tears blurred my eye and I brushed at my face. "My husband… where is he?"

"Miss O'Connor, you'll need to calm down. You shouldn't be exerting…"

"FUCK YOU! WHERE'S MY HUSBAND!" I was beyond any sense of calm. "MARK! MARK!"

The nurse or doctor or whoever the hell he was leaned over me as I thrashed on the bed. He didn't try to grab at me, just prevented me from getting up.

"Miss O'Connor, stop, you'll aggravate your injuries."

"Oh my god." Susan!

I reached back and hit the guy holding me down as hard as I was able. "Susan! Where's Mark! MARK! GET OFF ME YOU FUCK! WHERE'S MY HUSBAND!"

"… and you can kiss my ever loving ass, Mr. Sebastian. Casidhe needs family and I am family," Susan's voice whispered angrily.

"I'm am her lawyer and a close family friend, Mrs. Tanner. You have no legal hold over Casidhe or else I would know about it. I don't know you and I'm asking you nicely, one more time, before I have security brought up here and have you escorted from the room."

"Just try it, and I'll have your balls for breakfast." Venom filled Susan's voice as she growled out the threat.

"…" I tried to speak, but nothing came out, so I did the only thing I had the strength to do, bang my cast against the safety bars that held me from falling out of the bed accidentally.

Susan's eyes widened when she saw my movement, and she pushed Sam out of the way. "Casidhe!"

Clearing my throat hurt worse than ever.

"Oh! Hold on, let me get you some water."

"Perhaps, you should wait until the doctor says it's okay for her to have water, Mrs. Tanner."

"Put a sock in it, Sebastian."

She directed a bendy straw to my lips and I sucked greedily.

"Not too much, just soothe your throat."

I did as instructed and let the straw go. As before, Mark was the first thing on my mind. "Mark?"

"He's next door, sweetie," she said as she brushed away the hair hanging in my face. "Michael and Casey are with him."

"Are the babies okay?"

Her face went all strange like she didn't know what I was talking about, but it changed again and she smiled at me sweetly. "The babies are just fine, Casidhe. Your friend is babysitting."

Oh good. "Chloe's a wonderful aunt isn't she?"

Susan's eyes went all glassy and a tear ran down her face. "Yes, baby. She's the best." She sniffed and covered her mouth for a moment. "Tell me about the babies, sweetie, okay?"

I closed my eye for a moment. Focusing was becoming a problem, but I opened it again a second later.

"… medication… mild hallucina… along with it for now."

Susan appeared again. "Hey," she looked better than just a second ago. "You're with us again."

I felt her hand on my fingertips. "Mikey starts school this fall. Little Chloe is mad at him for leaving her."

"That's what children do, Casidhe."

I smiled a little at her but it hurt, so I winced.

"Are you in pain, sweetie?"

Shaking my head was a bad idea. "I want to be awake for Susan's feeding. Don't make me go back to sleep."

Mom's face didn't look so good anymore. "Don't cry, Mom. Everything will be…"

---

 
Part 15

"Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup."

Someone really annoying was whispering a mantra in the vicinity of my butt. I cracked an eye and saw a mop of messy blonde hair covering the face of my best friend.

"Hey, message received."

Chloe jerked back and then squeezed the heck out of my hand. "You're awake?"

I tried to wipe the ever increasing amount of eye-crud away and was reminded that I didn't have full use of my right arm. Knowing Chloe, there was no way I would have the use of my only functional hand if I didn't distract her. "Can I have some water?"

"Oh, yeah… sure. Hold on."

Bleh. I need a washcloth.

"Here you go."

I recognized her insistence on holding the cup for me, and the swinging of the bendy straw around. Sipping only a mouthful, I let it go and relished the feel of cool water sliding down my throat.

"How do you feel?"

"Um… not good. What's wrong with me?"

Chloe grimaced. "Nobody knows but Sam and the doctors, and they're not talking. Family only, the doctors say." Her eyebrow quirked and her face went a little whimsical. "You should have seen Mrs. Tanner. I thought she was going to…"

I cut her off. "Mark! Is he okay?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Nobody's allowed to see him, and Mrs. Tanner isn't talking. She said that you deserved to hear it from her first." At seeing my reaction she gave me a touch more information. "I do know that he's in the CCU."

"The what?"

"Critical Care Unit."

The knot in my stomach came back in full force. "Oh god." I grabbed at Chloe's hand. "You have to get a hold of Susan for me. Please. I have to know what's happening."

"Susan?"

I tried shaking my head in frustration, but a stabbing pain shot through my head. "Mrs. Tanner. Susan Tanner."

Chloe nodded and fumbled for her bag. "She gave me her number in case you woke up. Hang on Cas. I'm on it."

She rushed out of the room. Making an assumption that cell phone use wasn't allowed in this part of the hospital, I let her go without argument. I didn't spend more than a minute alone in the room before a guy showed up, that looked vaguely familiar, in blue scrubs, with another guy in tow.

"Miss O'Connor, how are you feeling this afternoon?"

"Like crap. My face feels like it's going to explode." I winced. Even saying that hurt, not to mention the wincing hurt too. "Maybe it already exploded?"

"I've had them cut back on your pain medication. You were suffering hallucinations. I can try something different if you'd like?"

Closing my eye I tried to clear my thoughts. "Later. I have to be clear-headed right now. Mark, what about Mark."

"Mark Tanner?"

"Yes," I said through gritted teeth. "How is he doing?"

The dark haired guy that had been talking to me all along switched the position of the clipboard he was carrying. "I'm sorry to say that he's under another physician's care, and we are only able to release information to the patient's family."

"I'm," I snapped, which was a really bad idea. I closed my eye again and breathed. "I'm his girlfriend, his fiancé." Well, close enough.

He gave me a questioning eye. "And last night you were his wife." At my shocked looked he tried to change the subject. "Why don't we talk about you."

Why won't anyone tell me what the hell is going on? "I'll wait until I find out about Mark. So you might as well tell me now. His mother will be up here soon."

He spread his hands. "Well there you go. His mother will be here, and I'm sure we'll time it just right so you can be all informed by the time she gets here."

Is this guy serious? Okay, I give up. Looking over to the other guy standing by the door I asked, "Excuse me. Are you a nurse or a doctor?"

He straightened up from trying to look casual leaning against the wall. "I'm just a ward assistant ma'am."

"Cool, thanks for being the only person in existence to give me a straight answer. Would you mind handing me a phone please." I lifted up my cast and kind of waved it. "I'm kinda in a bind here."

"Miss. O'Connor," the original guy interrupted.

"You," I pointed with a hand half-covered in a cast. "Are fired. Go away."

He looked stupefied. "You can't fire me, I'm…"

"Being paid by me and my insurance company." I snapped off. "Thus you work for me, my temporary employee, ergo I can hire and fire you. Now -- go -- away."

Movement from the doorway distracted me. Chloe was standing there with her cell in one hand and a bug-eyed look on her face. She saw me and waved her phone, mouthing, 'On her way.'

"Chloe, did they bring in my purse?"

She nodded and went to a closet located underneath the television against the middle of the wall opposite me. The doctor looked rather constipated. I ignored him, but focused on the ward assistant. "Phone?"

He snapped to and nodded. Before I knew it I was the proud owner/renter? of a beige slimline deluxe, popular with most hospitals, and punching Sam's number from memory.

The doctor left without further comment and Chloe had retrieved my battered and torn purse. What the hell happened to me? More importantly, what happened to Mark? The connection only rang once and I, after assuring Sam's secretary I was alive, if not well, was connected to my lawyer.

"Casidhe, you're awake?"

"Hey Sam. What the 'hell' is going on?"

Normally that would elicit a chuckle or two from my legal overseer. "Hang on, I'm on my way. Give me about fifteen minutes and I'll be there, okay."

"Thanks, Sam."

Chloe waved my bag at me.

"My folio, is it in there?"

After a quick dive she pulled it out. "Great," I sighed.

The ward assistant was still standing beside the bed. I gave him a curious look. "Do you know what kind of doctor Mr. Information there was?"

After making arrangements for a friend of Gramps' to take over my care I hung up and watched Chloe shaking her head in amusement.

"What?"

She giggled. "You. Even as banged up as you are, Hurricane Casidhe still takes the world by storm."

I'd shrug, but there was no telling what kind of pain I would incur if I did. "I don't like people to lord their stupid rules over me, or try to play on the sick and infirm to get their way."

She leaned over me and gave me the briefest and lightest hugs. "I love you, girl. Don't you ever leave me."

The knot that was hovering in my stomach moved up into my throat. "I love you too."

"Get out of my way Sebastian or I'll go through you!"

I looked over to the open door and almost smiled. "Chloe, tell Sam it's okay to let Susan in. Hurry before she castrates him in the hallway."

She was to the door before I could finish and she snapped, "Hey! Knock it off. Cas wants to see both of you."

That's my girl!

Susan was a wreck. Her hair was messy and pulled back in a hurried ponytail, and she was dressed in a mismatched yoga outfit. Her eyes were puffy and red, not to mention her nose looked raw, probably from crappy hospital bargain tissues. However, any way you look at it, she was there when I needed her. I could give a crap about what she looked like.

Her face was hot as she held it up against mine in a light hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Casidhe, how are you feeling today, sweetie?"

It was kind of hard giving a reassuring smile with only half a face showing. "I'll survive. Susan, they won't tell me anything about Mark."

Her eyes tracked to Chloe, standing beside the bed. I lifted my right arm and kind of point to her. "Sorry, this is my best friend, Chloe."

A spark of recognition lit in Susan's face. "Right, sorry, I was a mess yesterday. I remember Aunt Chloe."

Sam was standing at the end of the bed, looking rather grim at the obviously distraught mother of my boyfriend.

"And I'm sure you've met Sam Sebastian…"

"Oh, we've met."

Sam gave her his best court room smile which wasn't really a smile at all. "Charmed."

Susan's hand had trailed to mine through the introductions. I took advantage of the moment and squeezed it softly. "Tell me what happened."

Regardless of his feelings toward anyone, Sam was always a gentleman. He moved to the side and pushed a seat up for Susan to sit by my side. She produced a smile in thanks and turned back to me.

"The police said that truck ran a red light and hit Mark's car, pushing both of you into oncoming traffic from the other direction."

I did my best not to interrupt her. I really didn't care about how it happened. I only wanted to find out about Mark.

"They took Mark out in Life Flight." Her face went pale at the thought of her son being so bad off that they had to bring in a helicopter to rush him to the hospital. I was in the same camp.

With a lick of her lips she pressed on. "The doctors told me he almost died on the operating table."

My baby… "He's going to be okay, right?"

"He lost a lot of blood Casidhe."

I hadn't realized how fast I was breathing. "They can put more in, right?" Looking at Sam, pleading with my eyes. I begged. "Right?!"

"Cas." Chloe leaned in and lay her hand on my shoulder. "You gotta chill." I was about to tell my best friend to screw off, but the words never made it to my lips. "You gotta get better so you can make sure you're there for Mark."

That seemed to put the brakes on my hysteria. She produced a tissue and wiped at my face.

"You're gonna get better, and then we'll all help Mark get better, right?"

"Right," I sobbed. "You're right, I'm sorry."

Susan squeezed my hand. "You've got nothing to be sorry about, sweetie. The doctors say that he's past the worst of it and he should recover."

After another sip of water, distributed by Chloe, I was coherent enough to continue. "Tell me about his injuries."

Susan nodded. "He has a broken hip, and they were able to save his left arm. That's what caused most of the problems. The worst was the head injury."

"That's what happened to your face, Casidhe," Sam offered.

"Wha…?"

Susan nodded at Sam, so he took over. "The truck hit you on your side of the car, pushing you into another car coming from the opposite direction, traveling much faster. The side airbags deployed, but not quick enough to save him slamming into you from the impact."

Seeing Susan's distress he held out a hand for her and tried to ease the rest out. "The back of Mark's head fractured your ocular cavity in three places and gave him a pretty nasty concussion."

I was frozen in place. Mark had a concussion because of me?

"You were very lucky. If you weren't asleep…"

"Lucky?"

"Bad choice of words, Casidhe. I'm sorry. If you weren't asleep, you would have been injured much worse."

"I want to see him," vomited from my mouth.

"That's… not a good idea right now, Casidhe," said Sam with far too much seriousness in his voice.

That just made it even worse for me. "Sam, I love him." Which I punctuated with several tear drops sliding from my face. "Please."

Want to know why I always have faith in my closest family friend?

He looked in my only eye, at the moment, and knew Mark meant the world to me. A firm resolve covered his face. He turned to Susan. "Mrs. Tanner, with your permission?"

Still clutching my hand she nodded. Sam looked back at me and stood with a lot more conviction than I had seen in a long time. "I'll make it happen." Pointing at me he added. "You relax and pull yourself together. They won't let you go anywhere the state that you are in."

He was off in a flash and I had a second wind. Chloe wiped at my face and gave me another shot of water.

"Thanks."

She smiled at me, shaking her head again.

"Susan, Chloe has my folio. It has a list of all the best doctors in the area and personal friends of my grandpa. If nothing else, call them in for a consult. I'll pay for it. I want Mark to have the best."

Chloe reached the folio over and added, "Just mention Connor O'Connor and that Casidhe wants them to come in."

She took it, looking on with mild confusion.

"We're family," I said with as much conviction as I could muster. "I take care of my family."

My injuries? My lower arm was separated at the elbow and my ulna broken. My right knee had some ligament damage but it was already repaired. I'll be immobile for a few days and then have to start physical therapy to make sure I have full range of motion. Some strength loss is most likely to occur.

The worst, of course was my left eye. I could probably pass as a double for a nice vampire flick considering there is virtually no white left in my eye. Once the bone heals and the swelling goes down, they'll be able to tell me if I can actually see out of it ever again. I found all of this out when the replacement doctor came to inspect their handiwork. The area was still too swollen for me to even open my eye, so I'm in the dark. Literally.

It does, however explain why whenever I talk, it hurts. That ole jaw bone is located way too close to where I got hit.

I wasn't able to be moved until the new doc gave his okay after checking out my knee. It wasn't even splinted, but was wrapped with enough bandages that I didn't have a chance to move it in the first place.

Susan begged off to go see Mark. Apparently she'd been moving back and forth between Mark and me for two days and, of course, I had Chloe call her during her marathon two hour nap at home. She was moving only by the grace of Starbucks and pure unadulterated determination.

Chloe's mom picked her up. It was a school night and she had homework. But Sam stuck around to enlighten me on things that apparently couldn't be said in mixed company.

"Your secret is still safe."

Frankly the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. "Oh."

"I'm the only one with the authority to know, so the doctors wouldn't have legally been able to tell Mrs. Tanner. But I did remind those in the know, just to be on the safe side."

"Thank you, Sam." He smiled up at me from the chair beside my bed. "I never tell you how much I appreciate everything you do for me."

Lifting my hand to his lips, he placed a little kiss on my fingers. "Yes, you do. I always get paid on time. That's thanks enough."

His joke didn't sink through me enough. "I love you, Sam."

He blinked a couple of times. I think I could count on two fingers how many moments in time I have seen him caught off guard. He always had and answer, a joke, a sharp remark set aside for any occasion, but at that moment he became a little more human to me.

So, of course, I had to take advantage of the situation while I had the chance. "You think I don't notice the things you do for me that aren't noted on the monthly statement? The times you drop whatever it is you are doing so you can rush to my side? I notice, Sam. I just never said anything because you seemed to like doing things undercover, out of the limelight, so to speak."

I pumped my hand a little. "Help me sit up."

He grabbed the little remote control that lifted the back of the bed upright and we waited in silence until it was finished. I didn’t let him sit back down. Instead I patted the bed, next to me, and when he was close enough I let him have it.

"Sam, you're my knight in shining armor. Whenever there's a battle to be fought, you're my champion. But you're also my family. So, if you don't have any plans and feel like spending the day with your pain in the butt pseudo-niece at any time, then you give me a call. I want to be a part of your life."

The look on his face was almost unreadable, but I knew Sam.

"You've got no excuse. You're single, and you aren't so busy with making millions of dollars that you can't take some time out and…"

"Fine," he said with a tad of humor in his voice. "Quit torturing me. I can't take all of this lovey-dovey talk."

It hurt to do so, but I leaned into him for a hug. He was extremely careful not to hurt me, but I hurt anyway. It was amazing how many muscles there are in the human body. Until they all radiate pain, you aren't really aware.

"I love you, Sam."

"I love you too, princess."

Michael stood at my door, being escorted by someone with a wheelchair. From the look of the metal leg brace attached on the right side, it was for me.

When Sam helped me pivot to the side of my bed I saw myself in a mirror against the wall. It was a shock to see half my face covered by white bandages and the over half with little scrapes and bruises. My hair, what little I could see, was a mess. I tried to keep it together and ran my fingers through the tangles then gave up. I was just in a car accident. I wasn't going to a party.

"You up for this, little lady?"

Michael was still taller than me, even with the added height of the bed. I held out my arms, cast included. He came up and gave me a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Michael."

He kissed my cheek. "Me too. Now let's get you down there so we can get our boy woken up. I just know he's waiting to hear your voice."

Getting into the chair was a lesson in aches and pains, and exactly how much I could take. I bit through most of it because I didn't want to give them a reason to make me get back in bed, but when I was finally able to sit down I let loose a whimper.

"Are you okay, Casidhe?" Sam said with a considerable amount of worry in his voice.

By the time I caught my breath I nodded a little. "Go ahead and plan on pain meds for when I get back."

"Let's get you back up in bed. You don't need to do this right now."

I know the strain was showing on my face. "Then I would have just done this for nothing. I'm already in the chair."

His lips thinned in self-rebuke for not seeing through my plan in the first place. He just gave me a look of discontent. "Let's go then, Miss Smarty Pants."

I was wheeled around and down the hall to a bank of elevators, escorted by Sam, Michael, and the wheelchair was being pushed by a ward assistant, I guess. I couldn't imagine a nurse or doctor taking time out of their busy day catering to me.

While we were on the move I took the time to straighten out the blanket that I was provided so I wouldn't flash the staff or scare the patients. It was kind of screwy, getting used to dong things with my left hand. They secured my right in a sling so it was next to useless and only got in the way.

"They've moved Mark out of Critical Care," Michael announced. That brought my head slinging around. Ouch?

"What?"

Michael nodded. "He's been upgraded. The swelling in his brain has lessoned, and his vitals have normalized." He set his hand on my shoulder. "We just need him to wake up."

I covered his hand with mine. "I'll do my best."

He smiled at me and nodded. "I know you will, Casidhe. But don't take it too hard if he doesn't. He's right at the point where doctors say he should be coming out of it. It could be any time."

Michael started to pull away, but I gripped harder, not wanting to let him go, so he stayed in contact with me.

We were led to a smaller ward, somewhere in between critical and normal care, I didn't get the name and I really didn't give a crap. I just wanted to see Mark. There were a small amount of rooms and a more than normal amount of nurses hanging around. I kept my rude comments to myself about why they were standing around yapping when someone important to me needed their help. I guess there was only so much they could do. Standing over him, fussing wasn't going to make things better. That was my job.

Michael motioned to the assistant to stop the wheelchair and then he squatted beside me with my hand sandwiched between both of his.

"Are you sure you want to do this right now?" Before I got the chance to say yes, he held up a halting hand. "Mark's in bad shape. Nobody would think any less of you if you waited one more day…"

"Would you wait if it was Susan in there and you were in this chair?" I responded in one my most even toned voices.

His eyes glittered for a moment and he shook his head. "I suppose not."

That brought a smile to my face. "Get used to this, Michael. If you think I'm letting Mark go after all of this then you've got a lot to learn about me. I'm tying him down when he wakes up."

He nodded and then stood. "Give me a minute, okay?"

When he disappeared into the room Sam leaned in. "Tying him down?"

I gave him a curious look. "Can a girl give a guy an engagement ring?"

Cool, blank look number two in a single day. He recovered after a few seconds. "I don't think that's exactly how it's supposed to work."

"Will you give me away at the wedding, Sam?"

"Casidhe…"

"I'm serious, Sam." Now he had worried face. So I returned it with a serene smile. "He makes me happy and I love him."

His lips squinched together. "We'll talk about this later."

Sam waited out in the hall and I was escorted in the room. The sight of him lying in bed was two-fold. I was ecstatic to see him alive. That little pain went away in my heart to have it confirmed. However, I was torn to see him in so many bandages. His left arm was packed about twice its size. The only thing visible were the very tips of his fingers and they didn't look a very healthy color.

He wore a turban of sorts with a pillow of bandages on the back right of his skull. I guessed that was where we butted heads. Several tubes were still hooked up to him, leading to IV's and bags hanging to the side of the bed. The one thing that I was worried about seeing wasn't there: an intubation tube, that thing they stick down your throat to help you breathe. In its place was one of those transparent masks coving his mouth and nose.

Casey was sitting in a chair at the foot of the bed and Susan was holding his uninjured hand.

Hold it together, Casidhe. They need to see hope, not you bawling like a baby. I smiled, somewhat unconvincingly, from Susan's reaction.

"He's much better, Casidhe."

The assistant pushed me right up along side the bed and locked the wheels. "Just press the call button when you are ready to leave."

I nodded and vacantly said, "Thank you."

The bed was too freaking high. I couldn't get a good look at him, but I could touch his hand, pull it to my face, and feel his warmth. I breathed out and couldn't hold it back any longer. A single sob escaped from my throat followed by a river of tears.

I heard Michael in the background. "Casey, come on. Why don't we give Mom and Casidhe a few minutes."

I sniffed. "No, don't go. He needs all of us here."

A couple of tissues appeared for me, courtesy of Susan. I grabbed at them with my slung hand and dabbed as best I could without letting go of Mark's hand.

"Michael?"

"What do you need, Casidhe?"

I looked at him pleadingly. "Can you help me stand up?"

Everyone's got such a disapproving grimace on their face today. "Do you think that's such a good idea?"

I didn't answer him, but I did tear my eyes away from Mark's face long enough to let him see the need in my own.

"I guess you do." He looked at the wheelchair for a second and then the bed. "Hold on to the safety bar and I'll turn you around a little"

Following directions to the letter I waited until I was facing diagonally to the bed and he lifted my injured leg to set it on the ground so that I could favor my good leg when I stood. His hands under my arms came next. I pushed off with my good foot to help him along and not be such a dead weight. It was kind of surprising how easy it was. Michael was obviously in good shape or I weighed virtually nothing.

Leaning in, I felt Michael bracing me so I wouldn't fall over, I gave Mark a kiss on his cheek. "I love you, Mark Tanner. You need to quit scaring me to death and wake up now."

Not getting any reaction wasn't surprising, but I still had a Sleeping Beauty fantasy in the back of my head. So much for true love's kiss. My hand was shaking on the safety bar where I was placing almost all of my weight. I wouldn't be able to stand up for much longer.

"Okay," I admitted defeat and Michael eased me back down into the chair. Once I was situated I pulled him to me and kissed his cheek as well. "Thank you. I know I'm a pain in the butt."

He rolled his eyes at me and Susan saved him from commenting. "Why don't you and Casey go grab some drink, Michael."

He nodded and patted me on the shoulder before they left, and I didn't waste any time while they were gone.

"Once I get back on my feet again, I'll be there for anything you need, Susan."

She looked at me wistfully for a few moments. "I know you will. You proved that last night."

The frown I gave her tweaked at my left eye. Okay, stop doing that! Oww! "Pardon?" I squeezed out.

"Your doctor had to sedate you last night because you were screaming at him."

"What?" I was awake at some point?

She covered her mouth in amusement. "I think your exact words were something like, 'Get off me you fuck. Where's my husband?'"

The blood racing from my face was probably highly entertaining. "I… I…"

"Doesn't ring any bells?"

A tiny shake of my head was all I could give. "Nuh uh."

"It must have been some good stuff."

I closed my eye and palmed my face. "Oh god. What else did I say?"

Susan shrugged. "Nothing much. I had just got there and was watching over you for a while. The doctors were giving Mark a post-op examination." She set her hand against his cheek, brushing a thumb over as much area as she could cover. "You wanted to know how the babies were."

"Babies?" I was going to regret asking, but… "What babies?"

Her eyes sparkled at me. "Oh, yours and Mark's, of course."

Would the torture never end?

"Mikey was just starting school, and little Chloe was angry because she was losing her playmate, not to mention you were worried about breastfeeding baby Susan. You were quite insistant."

Susan was loving every minute of it.

"Go…"

We both jumped at that. Susan leaned in to Mark in an almost panicked state. "Mark? Mark? Are you awake, baby?"

I gripped his hand and squeezed with everything I had. "Mark?"

Susan pulled the air mask down and moved her ear closer to his lips?

I was about to pee myself in anticipation when I saw her smile, and laugh out loud.

"What?" I begged. "What'd he say?"

She replaced the mask and grabbed at the nurse call button, punching it a couple of times.

"Susan?" I whined.

She licked her lips and smiled at me. "He said, 'Good names.'"

"Awww, you named your imaginary first daughter after me?!"

"Don't let it go to your head. I was on about a gallon of morphine at the time."

Chloe broke up and slid around her chair a few times, giggling. I sighed and waited through the laugh track to ease up. It had taken her a few days to worm the information out of me as to why I always turned beet red whenever Susan came to visit.

"Tell me what's going on at school. What are the rumors this week?"

She bounced up in glee. "Oh, Jerry has it up on his site that you and Mark were attacked downtown by the Los Oveja street gang."

"Huh? Doesn't oveja mean sheep?"

Chloe shrugged her shoulders at me. "It explains his grade in Spanish class. But he did say that you kicked their butts quite well before being overcome only by sheer numbers."

That's when I couldn't keep the disbelief from my face. "Me? Not Mark?"

She nodded and leaned back. "Apparently you left quite the impression on our little troll."

We were interrupted by a white coat entering my room. "Well, Casidhe, ready to get out of this joint?"

I smiled. "Nothing against you, Doc, but if I ever see another hospital, it better be because I'm in labor."

Chloe snorted. I wonder why?

The Doctor grinned. "No offense taken. Now, how about we lose those bandages and fit you with this neat little shield."

Thank god!

He set a box down on the rollie-table that hovers above the bed and produced a blunt set of scissors. I leaned up, under my own strength and moved my legs to the side, so that he could get a better angle at me.

"Miss, would you mind getting the shades and the lights, I don't want to overwhelm Casidhe's eye just at first."

"Sure!" Chloe jumped up and killed the lights before winding the mini blinds closed. "That good?"

"Perfect, thank you," said the doctor as he was halfway unwinding the bandages surrounding my head. "Okay, almost there. Now I want you to keep your eye closed until I say so, Casidhe. I want to make sure everything is well on its way before we mess around."

"Okay," I muttered. I went ahead and closed the other eye so I wouldn't be tempted. After another minute I felt the cool air of the room touch my face for the first time in five days.

"Stay right there, Casidhe, I'm going to clean you up a little." I heard some movement and a drawer open and close. "This is just distilled water. I'm going to dab at your eye so you won't have trouble opening it up."

"'kay."

The skin around my eye was uber-sensitive, but the cool, wet gauze felt good.

"The stitches look very good. I don't think you'll see much scarring if any at all."

A breath I didn't know I was holding, released, and was replaced with a little grin.

"Alright, are you ready?"

"Uh huh."

"I'm holding my hand over your eye right now. When you open it up, if it hurts I want you to close it back and relax, okay?"

"Uh huh."

"Okay, go ahead."

As slow as I dared I cracked both eyes open. Expectedly, I could see out of the right, just fine. The left was dark, but it didn't hurt.

"Any pain?"

"No," I whispered. I don't know why.

"I'm going to remove my hand now."

The smell of the latex glove he was wearing was annoying my nose. A second later his hand was gone and I finally had depth perception, because I could see out of both eyes again.

Chloe squeezed my hand, which I don't remember taking.

"Cas?"

"Yeah?" A grin split my face. "I can see."

The Doctor arranged a real eye exam to make sure that everything was where it was supposed to be. With my kind of injury, detached retinas aren't uncommon. The minor fact that I could see without any fuzziness or fuzzy spot in my vision was a very good sign. The checkup was a preventative measure.

The weird thing was the funky mask I got to wear. The cracks around the orbit of my eye were still healing and would be for a little while. As long as I didn't bash my head against the wall or faceplant into random tables, I should be fine. Of course, my particular doctor had to be one of a group that was conducting a protective face mask trial for use with people that had facial injuries.

It was a molded mask that would fit over the majority of the left side of my face, with little absorption points where, if I were to be accidentally hit, would spread out the shock away from the original injury.

In short, I was the Phantomess of the Opera for another three to four weeks. The good thing? I had a nice little eye hole I could see out of.

Rolling around in a power chair is starting to suck rocks. If only my arm wasn't broken, I could use crutches. Susan and Michael offered to let me stay with them, but being the independent and stubborn soul I am, I chose to see how I could get by.

The question I know you are asking is, 'Casidhe, how are you getting up and down those stairs?' Was I right? Well, if you look to the right of the kitchen as you are exiting, you'll see a fairly wide door. Remember Gramps' problem with arthritis? The mini elevator is slow as sin, but it works, and it empties into the master bedroom, which I am considering moving into more and more each passing day.

My bedroom is all well and good for sleeping, and doing my make up, but there really isn't a whole lot of room to move around in a power chair.

With that idea in the back of my mind I made plans to finally go through and box up the master bedroom. Have you ever tried to unfold and tape a box with only one hand? I have so much more sympathy and respect for people with disabilities. I hereby promise never to curse the jerks that make sure the best parking spots are always taken up by handicapped spaces. They have enough to deal with without having to find a decent place to park.

I will tell you this. Using my Gramps' bathroom to take a shower is really weird. He was already set up with the safety bars all over the bathroom and also had one of those shower seats with an extendo showerhead hose so I didn't have to get my bandages wet with my sorry attempts to bathe. Forget trying to wash my hair. The good thing was that I didn't smell like a hospital anymore.

My first day wasn't even done yet before I was passed out in front of the television not watching anything.

"Cas?"

I blinked away my sleepy eyes when I saw Chloe hovering over me. "Hey."

"Cas, what are you doing down here in the dark?"

A quick look around and I realized it was night time and, yes, I was sitting in the dark.

"Musta fell asleep."

The face Chloe made let me know that she didn't believe a word I was saying. "Honey, you were staring straight ahead, at nothing." When I didn't respond she held out her hand for me. "Come on, lets get you upstairs and in bed."

I was getting much better about pivoting around everywhere. I could turn with the best of them, it was the whole going in a straight line thing that was a problem. I stood up a little and shifted into the chair. While I was navigating the living room, Chloe had the door to the elevator opened and was waiting for me.

"You want to come try out school tomorrow?"

I shook my head as I backed up into the small enclosure. "I can't go like this, Chloe. I'd feel like a freak."

If I weren't already hurt I'd swear Chloe would have smacked me. "Everyone's asking about you and Mark. They know what happened. Nobody would make fun, and if they did, I'd beat the crap out of them."

"No." Don't ask me why I was being short with her. I really don't know why, myself.

"Okay. Just thought I'd ask."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Chloe. I…"

She leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. "You don't have to explain. You'll come when you're ready."

My eyes burned, signaling another round of tears soon on their way. "I really was asleep earlier."

Our conversation was cut off from the door opening. See, I told you the elevator was slow. Chloe tossed open the outer door and I made my way through Gramps' room into the hallway. I wiped at my face with my injured arm, trying to not let Chloe see.

While I made a stop at the bathroom, Chloe puttered around in the bedroom.

"Want me to bring you something to wear?"

"Thank you. Anything is fine."

I have a preponderance of babydolls. I think I bought out the local Victoria's Secret's supply. So, I already knew what she was going to bring me. A light knock on the door and a hand slipped through to set one on the counter.

"Thanks."

Luckily it was a small bathroom. I reached over and found the panties. My knee wasn't able to bend more than a few degrees without pain. You never really realize how much it sucks having to stick your leg out everywhere you go. But the doctor said I needed to work the stiffness out and should be up on my feet in a week or so with the use of a crutch or cane for balance. Apparently it was up to me and how much pain I was willing to take.

When I slipped the babydoll over my shoulders, I spun around and dropped into the chair again.

She was waiting for me when I got back into the room. It was looking like she wanted to help me into bed, but I held her off with a hand. "I got it." It was just a pivot move after all. I have those down.

Right when I bounced down onto the bed I cringed. "Dammit, I forgot my meds."

Chloe was halfway to the door already. "I saw them in the kitchen. I'll be right back."

My shoulders slumped, and I smiled at her retreating figure out the door. I think the luckiest day in my life was when I met Chloe. Friendship comes in many different guises, but what she had shown me over the last few months was well above what I'd ever experienced before.

It wasn't even a minute before I heard her pounding back up the stairs with a glass of water and two prescription bottles. She stopped when she entered the room, and stared at me. "What?"

I didn't care about her seeing the burning in my eyes anymore. Holding out my only good hand I called to her. She gave me a silly look and set the meds and water on the nightstand before me.

My arm wrapped around her back and I set my face to the side on her chest. "You're the bestest friend in the world. You know that, right?"

Chloe's hands wrapped around my head and through my hair. "What's wrong, Casidhe?" Concern bled through her voice.

I sniffled a little and tried to snuggle tighter. "I can't get it out of my head that I almost lost him, Chlo." Breathing out the rest of my kept breath, I shuttered. "We just found each other, and we just got through having the best day of my life. Then it was over, almost."

"Oh, sweetie."

My body shuttered at the thought, once more. "It just hit me, downstairs. I woke up and everything was dark. I was alone. It was the worst feeling."

Chloe tried pulling back, but I wouldn't let her go.

"I've been alone for so long, Chloe. Even when Gramps was here, it wasn't the same as when I could go to my mom, and she would make things better."

Her hand, petting my head in soothing motions, calmed me a little.

"And then you came into my life. I had a real friend."

"I'll always be your friend, Cas. You know that."

With a small nod I squeezed her a little harder. "And now Mark is there too." After swallowing to clear my throat I sighed. "Am I going nuts, Chlo? Am I rushing things too much?"

Her petting stopped. "Truth?"

"Yeah?" I whispered.

She didn't wait. "Probably… but you've always done things your own way, Cas. Hell, your sixteenth birthday is tomorrow. You've got time."

I nodded, letting her know that I knew.

"You aren't getting your operation until December, right?"

"Uh huh."

"And I seriously doubt you are going to wait much longer to take him to bed for some serious Casidhe lovin', right?"

A giggle jumped out of me. "Uh huh."

"Well, why don't you wait at least until then to make a decision about the rest of your life."

My grip eased on my best friend and she pulled back to take a look at my face.

"I don't want to lose him."

She looked at me wistfully. "He's got a broken hip. I think you can out run him pretty well, even being all cripple-girl."

My eyes rolled. "You know what I mean."

"I know," she confirmed as she turned to the end table and fetched my meds. After swallowing them down and returning the glass to the table, Chloe sat down beside me and took my hand. "Cas, I know you two love each other and everything. You're going to go through a rough time here in the near future. Mark's gonna need some serious physical therapy and if the after school specials are anything like real life then he's going to have an even rougher time."

My lips pursed together in trepidation.

"You need to get yourself well, physically and mentally. He's going to need you, and you can't do that holed up in this place. You need to get back to school, back into your routine, as much as you are able. He's gonna need the Casidhe we all know and love, bouncing around…"

She looked at me and shrugged. "Well, in your case hobbling around."

With a frown, I smacked her. "Bitch."

I got a grin in return. "Now, lay down. I'm gonna go change."

Puzzled face appeared from me. "You're staying here tonight?"

"See, that blow to the head made you stupid. Of course I'm staying. You're my best friend, I love you."

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/