With all the gloom and doom in the world today, it's time to lighten up a bit. So...
* * *
A Transvestite, a Transsexual, and a Hermaphrodite walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this, a joke?"
* * *
A run-time error walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Get out of here, we don't serve run-time errors."
The run-time error protests, "But I'm an Exception!"
* * *
An atom walks into a police station and says to the desk sergeant, "I've been robbed! One of my electrons is missing!"
The desk sergeant asks, "Are you certain?"
The atom replies, "I'm positive."
* * *
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a Cosmo. The bartender serves it and says, "It's on the house."
"Are you kidding me?" the neutron asks.
"No kidding," the bartender answers. "For you, there's no charge."