She was a woman in her late twenties, long straight blond hair, blue eyes, button nose and nice full lips. She was quite thin and her legs were slim and shapely. Black sheer stockings and three inch court shoes enhanced the shape of her legs.   Love Hurts by Susan Brown

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Part 1 of 3

 
 
She was a woman in her late twenties, long straight blond hair, blue eyes, button nose and nice full lips. She was quite thin and her legs were slim and shapely. Black sheer stockings and three inch court shoes enhanced the shape of her legs. She was wearing a nice little royal blue satin dress that showed her rather shapely body to perfection. She frowned slightly at her small breasts, enhanced by a padded bra but then smiled again as she returned to concentrating on her face. The woman’s makeup was not as understated as normal as she was going to a dance and needed to take account of the lighting in such places. It was a nice face; foundation, bronze toner, pink blusher, smoky grey eyes, double thick mascara and lips that were made fuller with rose gloss lipstick all helped to improve her natural features. Clip on diamond drop earrings, matching bracelet and necklace completed the picture.

Studying my reflection in the mirror, I smiled.

“Not bad, Karen,” I thought and then blushed. I wasn’t used to praising myself, even when no one else was around. I tore my eyes away from the mirror and sat on the bed. Glancing at my watch, I realised that it was nearly time to go.

It was a pleasant room; it was the best I could afford, in the circumstances. This was the first transgender dance I had ever attended. This one was special, being at Christmas time. Ever since I was a child, I had loved Christmas. Being sort of on my own for a long while now, it was nice to be able to let my hair down a bit, forget my troubles and spend some time with people that liked me for what I am and not make judgements about me. I had been to several meetings of my local TG group over the last few years, but found them to be a bit cliquey and not to my taste so I stopped going. Luckily, I belonged to an online friendship group for those who were like me. I had made friends with several people there and I was going to meet three of them tonight. We all agreed that the Christmas festivities here were the best and I had been eagerly anticipating this event for some months now.

I really looked forward to meeting my online friends at last. There was Patricia; she was a librarian, Sharon a shop worker and Michelle, who was a doctor, and pre-op, on hormones like me. We were all of similar ages and we had a lot of fun when we went on line. MSN was great and we had all set up our web cams so we knew roughly what each other looked like.

Smiling at the thought of seeing my friends, at last, my smile faded slightly as I thought about my current situation; let’s face facts; it was never far from my thoughts. I am–or should I say was–a computer systems designer and had worked for Farino Systems since I was head-hunted at university. The package they offered was mind-boggling and it didn’t take me long to agree to join them. A company car, benefits package and a salary of fifty thousand pounds a year was enough for me to think that my future was secure. Everything went swimmingly well until about a year ago when Farino was taken over by a Japanese company who took most of the accounts away, effectively asset stripping the company and then they added insult to injury by making fifty percent of us redundant. I was one of that fifty percent. All this coincided with a downturn in the economy and mass redundancies in many industries, including mine.

From having a well paid job with all the trappings, I was overnight, unemployed and with little prospect of getting another job in my field as there were too many people chasing too few jobs. I went to interviews, of course but nothing came of any of them. I tried other types of computer related jobs, banking on my qualifications and experience to get me something worthwhile, but nothing came to fruition.

I had bought a flat with a huge mortgage in an upmarket part of town when I got my job. I was soon in trouble as the repayments were horrendous. I tried to sell, only to find that the property market had collapsed and I was close to negative equity. In desperation, I sold the flat at eighty percent of the price I paid for it and that just about covered the repayment of the mortgage. All this coincided with my seeing a trick cyclist to see if I was a suitable case for sexual reassignment and starting to take hormones.

I had no car, no home, no job and serious gender issues. Luckily I had managed to save a bit and had about twenty thousand pounds in the bank. I managed to find a bedsit that I could just about afford and a job working with the elderly as a carer. I had gone from sorting out computers to cleaning the bottoms of elderly incontinent people. Don’t get me wrong, the people that I worked with were in the main lovely and apart from the ickie side of things, it was rewarding work, but I was trained for something else and the pay was barely above minimum wage.

So here I was, a year later and considerably poorer. My savings had dwindled and this was probably going to be the one and only time I could afford to indulge myself and let my hair down a bit. I was three months into my real life test and luckily, with one notable exception at work, I had been accepted as Karen. It was ironic that the only real money that I had left, was ear marked for private surgery as the waiting list on the NHS was horrendously long. I could really use that money now, but I had to be strong and not touch it with a barge pole.

I had started to call myself Karen from about the age of four, according to my mum. I went to play-school and always made a bee line towards the dressing up clothes. Not for me the cowboy outfits, I liked to be a fairy, nurse or ballet dancer with a cute pink tutu.

Being a lone parent–I never knew my dad–my mum did all she could to be the best mother she could possibly be. She tried her hardest to point out that I was a boy and not a girl, but it fell on deaf ears. I was forever rummaging about in the clothes basket and putting on her clothes. She laughed at first but the joke soon became less funny as I grew up convinced that I was a girl and not a boy. Eventually, we compromised; I was allowed to dress as a girl in the house, but never outside.

Two days after my seventeenth birthday, my mum had an aneurism and died. After the trauma of losing her at such a young age–she was only forty-two–I stayed with an aunt and uncle until I left for university. Sharing a flat with three other undergraduates meant that I couldn’t dress as Karen very much. By this time I had some girls’ clothes that I kept hidden in a suitcase under the bed. On the rare occasions that I was alone, I tried to dress as Karen, but it was difficult as people were often coming in unannounced. How I never got caught I will never know. Anyway, once I graduated, got a job and moved into my own flat, I was free to be Karen whenever I wanted and I started taking hormones. My wardrobe expanded and knowing that I was fairly passable, I went out on a few shopping trips and to the transgender support group. Then I had to live for 2 years at least as a girl to pass my real life test and luckily the nursing home that I worked at was very understanding. I had met some opposition though but I tried not to think of that as I continued to titivate myself for the evening.

Looking at my watch, I realised that I was running late; the other girls were probably there by now. I had been day dreaming and feeling a bit sorry for myself. Taking a deep breath I decided that tonight was going to be fun and to hell with the future, it was time to go!

I picked up my royal blue chiffon and lace shrug and draped it round my shoulders, then, picking up my shoulder bag, I took one last look around the room and went out.

Locking the door behind me, I went down the corridor to the lift. I could hear the slight thump, thump sound coming from the disco and my heart speeded up at the thought of meeting my friends in person for the first time.

2

The Royal Hotel was run by TG friendly owners. They had held these long weekends for the past eight years. They had become very popular and I was very pleased that we had been able to book up the Christmas Weekend before it was sold out. The whole hotel was decked out with decorations, lights twinkled everywhere and the huge tree in the reception area was a wonder to behold. I loved Christmas, remembering that my happiest times was with my mum on Christmas morning, having ham and eggs for breakfast, then opening the presents that Father Christmas (via my mum) had brought; happy days! So Christmas was so very special to me and this weekend I hoped would bring me more happiness than I had had in a number of years and would, hopefully be one of my best ones.

The function room was on the first floor and as I went down in the lift, I hoped that tonight I could forget all my problems and let my hair down; it was Christmas after all, time to be happy, enjoy yourself and above all let your hair down.

The lift pinged as the doors slid open and I was hit by the sound of the disco at full blast. There were several girls milling around and I searched to see if any of them were my friends. Not recognising anyone, I went through the tall swing doors and into the conference room that was hosting our evening.

The ceiling was covered in twinkling fairy lights; a huge Christmas tree stood in the corner, decorated with tinsel, glass balls and lights that flashed in time to the music. The DJ was behind a desk nearly surrounded by equipment and speakers, wearing a red hat and a t shirt that said ‘Daddy Christmas Rools’–a bit tacky, but what the hell.

To the left was a long bar and quite a few girls were getting drinks. It was fairly dark in there and apart from the strobe like disco lights and the ones behind the bar, it was a bit gloomy.

Then I heard a call from the other end of the bar and there they were. I waved enthusiastically and went over.

“Hi, Karen!” they shrieked almost in unison.

They were all dressed in their party dresses, Patricia and Sharon were wearing matching black LBD’s and I wondered if they had planned it that way. Michelle was wearing an off the shoulder maroon chiffon dress and looked absolutely wonderful.

“You look lovely,” said Sharon with the others nodding and smiling.

“Not a patch on you lot. I feel positively dowdy!”

To sounds of ‘rubbish,’ and ‘nonsense,’ from the other girls, we picked up some drinks, G&T for me and Pat; rum and cokes for the other two. We walked over to the far side of the room, so we could chat without shouting too much.

There was a free table in the corner and we put our drinks down and grabbed some seats.

Looking at my friends, I realised that web cams were not very flattering. I knew that my friends were quite nice looking, but in the flesh, they were positively gorgeous. With Pat and Sharon, I knew they had something going and had been out several times together and it was obvious that they were a couple. Michelle, on the other hand, had been married and although she didn’t say much about it–it had all ended a bit messily, I knew that she had put the past behind her and was feeling more positive about the future. To be honest, I couldn’t take my eyes off Michelle, she looked so pretty and her lovely personality shone through. We had become rather close in the time that I had been using the chat room. We had spent hours on line, talking about our dreams, wishes and wants.

We talked for quite a while about what we were wearing, everyone said I looked drop dead gorgeous and I felt my face heat up as I did my famous impression of a red traffic light, much to the amusement of my friends, of course. We had a few more drinks and then had a sort of group dance to ‘jingle bells’ around our bags. Eventually, after several drinks, plenty of dancing and a lot of chat, it was getting a bit late and the dances got a bit slower.

Pat and Sharon had disappeared somewhere and sitting back at our table, Michele and I took advantage of the slightly lower volume to talk to each other without shouting.

I was feeling a bit strange. As soon as I saw Michelle earlier in the evening, my heart had sort of flipped. It was strange sensation, one that I had never had before. I thought that she was lovely and her smile when she first saw me, lit up her face. As I say, we had always been a bit closer, on line when we talked than I had ever been with the other girls. I suppose we sort of clicked. We liked the same music, Daniel Bedingfield, Enya, Clannad and strangely enough ABBA. We had seen and liked the same type of mushy, “I need a hankie,” films. The only thing we disagreed on was that I preferred the music of McCartney to Lennon.

“Well, Karen,” said Michelle, leaning close so that I could hear her over the music, “are you enjoying yourself?”

I was bit distracted by her perfume but I tried to answer coherently.

“It’s lovely. You’ve been here before, haven’t you?”

“Yes, I came last year. I was by myself so it wasn’t quite as much fun.”

“Well, I hope that you are enjoying yourself this year.”

“Yes, it’s great meeting everyone for the first time, especially you; It’s nice chatting on line and doing the web cam thing, but it’s different and more fun in the flesh.

As she spoke, I was looking at her. She was so lovely, dark brown hair, slightly above shoulder length; she told me once that she kept it that length because she could get away with changing it from male to female quite easily like that, although now she was transitioning, that wasn’t a major problem any longer. She was slim, with a pretty, narrow face. Her nose was quite small and dainty, and her eyes were greeny-brown in colour. Her lashes were long and curled up beautifully. She wore red lipstick and my eyes kept drifting from her eyes to her mouth. What was going on here?

“Karen?”

I pulled myself together.

“Sorry?”

“Have you been listening to me?”

“Sorry, I was miles away there.”

She laughed.

“Well come back down to Earth. I was saying that I think that Pat and Sharon have a thing going.”

“Have they?” I answered, pretending that I didn’t know.

“Yes, they are still on the dance floor and they appear to be locked quite close during the slow dances.”

I looked at them through the strobe lighting and other dancers on the packed floor and could dimly see that they were very close indeed.

“That’s nice.” I said, “but to be honest, I have known for quite some time that they had a “thing” going.”

How come?”

“Well, Pat was on line late one night and I think that she had a few too many drinks. She poured her heart out to me how much she liked Sharon but was afraid to do anything about it.”

“So you did a bit of match making then?”

“Sort of, I just said that she would regret it if she did nothing and I sort of ordered her to email Sharon and ask her out on a date. I was as surprised as anybody when I found out that she had actually done it…the rest is history.”

“Well, they make a fine couple; I hope it works out for them. Changing the subject, would you like to dance?”

I looked up and saw a hopeful look on Michelle’s face.

“Please.”

We got up and walked over to the centre of the dance floor just as George Michaels and Andrew Thingie’s, Careless Whisper started.

I looked at Michelle rather shyly and she took control. Soon we were up close and personal, dancing to that lovely sensuous music.

I could smell her perfume and feel the heat of her body as we danced slowly to the music. Somehow I found my head leaning against hers and we seemed to come even closer together. My breathing became heavier and I could feel a slight tremor going through her body, or was it mine? I couldn’t tell. We drifted slowly around the dance floor, oblivious to the people around us. It was nice being with her and I savoured the moment as time stood still and we just lived in our own little world.

I looked into her eyes, wondering if it was just me feeling this special moment…but no, I could see that she was as much affected as I.

I vaguely realised that the music had changed to another song, but to this day, I couldn’t tell you which one it was. All I do know is that we didn’t miss a beat and continued as if there was no one else around us.

We both started slightly as someone tapped our shoulders, it was Patricia, with Sharon standing next to her grinning.

“Will you two let each other go? The music’s stopped now and the disco has finished.”

I looked around and saw that the dance floor was emptying out and the main lights had come up.

I looked at Michelle who smiled rather sheepishly and said, “Oops!”

For some reason I giggled.

We stepped apart, walked over to our table and quickly finished our drinks. I couldn’t believe how quickly the time had gone. We sat down and discussed what we were going to do the next day and what we might wear at tomorrow night’s dinner dance. Everyone wanted to go and do some last minute Christmas shopping, but I was a bit apprehensive as I wasn’t as sure of myself as they were and let’s face it I was a bit short of cash.

“Look, Karen,” said Pat, “you look lovely; no one will clock you, I promise and even if they do, you’ll never see them again so don’t worry.”

I laughed at that rather mixed logic, but the others agreed that I had nothing to worry about so I just shrugged my shoulders and went with the flow. I was, after all, supposed to mingle with the general public to pass the real life test, but I was always on my guard that I might be “clocked”.

We agreed to meet again at 9.00 am for breakfast and then made our way out of the conference room and over to the lift.

Pat and Sharon got out of the lift on the second floor and there were no prises to be had for guessing that they wouldn’t be sleeping separately that night as they were all over each other like a rash. We quickly kissed goodnight as they disappeared giggling behind the closing door of the lift.

“What floor are you on?” asked Michelle.

“The third.”

“Oh same as me, what’s your room number?”

“38.”

“I’m in 36 so we are probably next to each other.”

Just then, the door opened and we walked out of the lift.

Walking down the corridor, we were quiet. I was sad that such a nice evening was coming to an end and I had strange feelings for this girl next to me. She was very quiet. I wondered whether she was regretting our closeness on the dance floor and wondered whether I blown our friendship somehow. I looked at her face and could see a slight smile playing on her lips–that was hopeful, at least she wasn’t frowning!

Looking at me, she smiled.

“It was a lovely evening wasn’t it?”

“Mmm.” I replied. “wonderful.”

We reached Michelle’s room first. She pulled out her key and looked at me.

“Erm… would you like to come in for a nightcap?”

“Are you sure that you aren’t too tired?”

“No, I just don’t want today to end and it’s been fabulous seeing you and the other girls.”

“Okay.” I smiled, as she opened the door and ushered me in.

The light was on and I could see that the room was a carbon copy of mine next door, with the bathroom on the left as you walk in, a double bed on one side, sofa at the end and a long dressing table on the left with a large lit mirror above it.

There was a small fridge in the corner and Michelle opened it.

“G & T?”

“Yes please,” I replied sitting on the sofa and taking my shoes off. I rubbed my black stockinged feet. I was unused to walking and dancing in heels and it was a pleasure just massaging them after all the abuse they’d had to endure.

Michelle came over with the drinks and smiled.

“Sore feet?”

“A bit.” I laughed, taking the drink from her.

She sat down next to me, put her drink on the coffee table and took her shoes off too.

“Mmm, that is nice,” she exclaimed with pleasure, “the torture we girls have to go through!”

We sipped our drinks and chatted quietly about the evening.

“It’s funny,” she observed, “how different people look in the flesh. I know that we see each other a lot on the web cam and we’ve sent each other loads of pic’s, but it’s different in the flesh, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right. I must admit, that you look even prettier in the flesh.”

“Oh Karen, that’s a nice thing to say. I must admit, when I saw you coming up to the bar tonight that I thought that you were the prettiest girl there and that was before I twigged that it was you.”

“I’m not that nice looking.”

“Don’t put yourself down, girl. You’re lovely and don’t you forget it!”

“Yes, Miss.” I said in a small girl’s voice.

“Enough of that or I’ll not let you have a lollypop when we go shopping tomorrow.”

We both looked at each other and laughed.

We talked for a while longer and finished our drinks.

“Well, I suppose I had better go to my room now as we are getting up early for the shops,” I said regretfully.

“Okay, honey,” replied Michelle as we both stood up and put our empty glasses on the table.

I went up to her and slightly hesitantly kissed her on the cheek. She kissed me back and we gently hugged.

Somehow, we pulled apart slightly and looked into each other’s eyes. Deep inside me I knew that I had feelings for her and I think those feelings were reflected in her eyes too. We hugged again, even tighter; our lips came closer and my eyes shut as our lips touched. Feeling a tingle go down my body like an electric shock, time stood still. In moments our mouths had opened and we gently kissed one another, our tongues caressing as we explored each other. I could feel the thump of her heart as well as mine as we held our bodies close to each other.

After what seemed a long time, we parted, both slightly breathless and flushed and looked at each other in a new light.

“That was wonderful,” she said gently brushing my cheek with her soft hand.

I held her hand against my face and just smiled. I couldn’t put into words how I felt.

“Do you have to go?”

“No.” I breathed, finally able to say something but not knowing really where all this was going.

We sat back down on the sofa and continued what we had started a few moments before. Soon we were kissing more passionately, exploring each other’s bodies with our hands. Eventually we just cuddled up together on the sofa, my head on her breast as she stroked my hair. I could smell her perfume and she smelt so sweet. I didn’t want to move but I had to use the loo.

“Michelle, I need to go.”

“Don’t go!” she exclaimed, sitting up and looking imploringly into my eyes.

“I mean I have to go to the toilet.” I laughed. “I also need to freshen up my makeup, I probably look terrible.”

“You look lovely, but why not take your makeup off.”

“I’m not so pretty without my war paint on.”

“I don’t believe that. Anyway, if you are staying the night, you don’t want to go to bed with makeup on, do you, I never do?”

“Y…You want me t…to stay the night?” I said sitting down again, all thoughts of needing to go to the loo disappearing in an instant.

Michelle looked distraught.

“Karen, I…I…I’m sorry. I thought that you wanted to…”

Looking at her, all upset at what she thought was a big mistake on her part; I really didn’t know what to say.

I just held her slightly shaking hand and leaned in to kiss her sweet lips.

After a few moments of complete silence and delicious concentration, I pulled away slightly.

“Of course I’ll stay, if you want me to.”

Her smile said it all as we snuggled together. There was no longer any need to hurry.

After a few more moments of tonsil tickling, I really had to go–to the loo.

“Won’t be a minute,” I said as I unwound myself from Michelle and hurried into the bathroom.

After doing the necessary, I was back in the arms of Michelle. I felt safe, secure and very contented but I knew that soon it would be time for bed.

As if reading my mind, Michelle looked at me and said. “Did you want to go to bed now?”

“Mmm, but I need to go next door to get my nightie and toilet bag.”

“Okay, seems like a plan, don’t be long, I don’t want to let you out of my sight now I have you, here’s the key. I’ll take off my makeup and get undressed while you’re away.”

I smiled as I got up, put on my shoes and left the room.

Letting myself into my room, I went into the bathroom, cleaned off my makeup, spritzed a little perfume in strategic places, put together the things I needed and was back in Michelle’s room after only a few minutes.

She was in the bathroom when I arrived back and I sat down and waited on the sofa. A short while later she came out, brushing her hair. She had on a peach diaphanous peignoir and looked edible. My poor excuse for manhood twitched slightly in my panties as I saw the vision of loveliness before me.

“Hi, Karen, do you want to use the bathroom to get changed?”

“Yes please; you look so lovely.”

“This old thing.” She laughed, plucking at the hem. “I like it anyway.”

I gave her a quick kiss as I passed her and went into the bathroom. I quickly undressed and folded my clothes…leaving them on a chair. I used the loo again, I think I was a bit nervous, I had never gone to bed with anyone before and I was what is delicately called a virgin. I flushed the toilet and washed my hands. I was getting more and more nervous, not sure of what to do and what was going to happen shortly. Looking at my penis, it was quite small and not very well developed. I hadn’t had a proper erection for quite some time, a result of the hormones, but I had a sort of squishy feeling in my tummy and my small breasts tingled a bit, so I knew that I was being aroused at the thought of being close to Michelle. It felt strange putting on my nightie with an obviously male appendage hidden beneath the pink silky material, but as a male bit of equipment, it was woefully lacking and I sort of ignored it, wishing that it wasn’t there and that I was an innie rather than a rather inadequate outie. I knew that Michelle had a similar arrangement under her nightdress and I wondered how things would turn out tonight. Sexually, I was a naíve novice. I had masturbated on a fairly regular basis up until the time that I could no longer stimulate my flaccid member; other than that, nothing. Michelle and I had discussed at length on the chat line, what we thought our sexual preferences were. She, like I, knew that she was trapped in the wrong body. I shrugged, not wanting to put a label on what we were, sexually and just looked forward to being as close as possible to Michelle. I was putting off going into the bedroom, not because I didn’t like Michelle–a lot–but because I was insecure, didn’t want to do anything wrong and was scared about whether I was good enough for her.

I brushed my hair until it shone, looked at myself in the mirror and took a very deep breath and smiled, all be it a bit apprehensively.

I went out of the bathroom and over to the bed. Michelle was lying on the bed, she had taken off her peignoir and was wearing a gorgeous cream double layer chiffon nightdress; it went just below the knee and was edged with matching thin ribbons. She smiled and opened her arms. All doubts left me as I joined her in a loving embrace. After a few moments where time seemed to stand still, I found myself being held in her arms. Looking up at her face I could see a contentment and happiness that I was sure reflected my own features.

Michelle pulled herself up on her elbows.

“Karen, how far do you want to go tonight?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well we could just kiss and cuddle like we have been doing and that’s okay, I know that you haven’t had much experience, or we could go further and explore things a bit more. It’s up to you; I’m happy just being with you.”

Looking up at her calm lovely face I could see that she had strong feelings for me, but I had to know for sure. I swallowed nervously, not sure how to put my thoughts into words.

“I…I have always said that I would keep myself for someone who I really care about. We have known each other for quite a long time now, though only today face to face. I…I’ve always liked you ever since we first met in the chat room. I feel that I have known you for years and after tonight, I want to do whatever I can to get as close to you as possible, but only if you feel the same.”

I could feel a tear running down my cheek for some reason and Michelle wiped away the tear with her finger. Her eyes were wet too as she replied.

“Oh Karen, I didn’t want to get too strong with you. I know that you haven’t had the experience that I had, in bed I mean. Mind you, being married to someone who didn’t love you and wouldn’t accept you, kind of puts a dent in your confidence and I’m not too sure that I’m in much a better position than you.”

I recalled when Michelle told me about her sham of a marriage. Her wife changed when they married and although she knew all about Michelle, she rejected her, just a year after the marriage, for a man she was having an affair with. After a painful divorce, Michelle had been careful not to tie herself down to anybody. Thank goodness that there hadn’t been any children to complicate things.

Words were no longer necessary and we fell into each other’s arms, kissing passionately. I could feel her body beneath the thin veneer of her nightdress. I was slightly jealous that her breasts were slightly more developed than mine, but only slightly. Soon, we were both breathing heavily, our passion mounting as we explored each other’s intimate places. As we were both taking hormones, our breasts were still somewhat under developed but quite sensitive. It wasn’t long before we had taken off our nighties and I felt the heat from her smooth hairless body as I caressed her naked flesh and she, mine. Despite the hormones, I could feel and see her small penis throb with anticipation as I stroked it and then kissed it tenderly on the tip. For her part, Michelle was licking my sensitive nipples, making them stand on end and tingle wonderfully….

I won’t describe everything we did that night, but suffice to say, that it was one of the nicest and most wonderful of times that I had ever experienced in my life and that I’ll remember it forever.

The next morning, I awoke to find the bed empty next to me. I could hear the sound of running water coming from the bathroom and realised that Michelle was probably having a shower. I ran my tongue over my lips, still a bit tender from last nights’ love making. Recalling what had happened; I smiled…that was some night!

The water stopped running and a few minutes later, Michelle came into the bedroom, drying her hair with a towel. She had no clothes on and I marvelled at her shapely body and pert little breasts.

“Well; awake at last, lazybones,” she remarked smiling as she continued drying her hair.

“I’m only tired because you snored most of the night.”

“I do not snore!”

“Well, not snored as much as snorted,” I replied.

“Humph.” She replied, pretending to be hurt.

I laughed as I got out of bed and went over to her. Our naked bodies entwined as we kissed passionately for a few minutes. She smelt fresh and clean and was still slightly damp from the shower…which reluctantly reminded me.

“I need a shower,” I remarked as we disengaged, breathing rather heavily for some reason.

“I would rather go back to bed to continue what you started…”

“ME!” I exclaimed, “it wasn’t me that came in here all naked and looking edible.”

“Well never mind that…have you seen the time?”

I looked at the clock on the wall. We had agreed to meet the others at breakfast in thirty minutes.

“Shi…”

“Don’t say that, it isn’t ladylike. Just have a quick shower; you haven’t time to wash your hair it looks lovely anyway…”

“Yes, Miss; No, Miss; Three bags Full, M…eeek!” I finished as I ran into the shower and away from the pillow-wielding Michelle.

Thirty-four minutes later, and still a bit damp around the edges, I walked out of the lift, my hand entwined with Michelle’s, as we made our way into the breakfast room. Over in the corner, we noticed that Pat and Sharon had already arrived and were tucking into some cornflakes. They looked up as we arrived.

“Well you too seem to be rather close this morning,” remarked Sharon.

“Sharon, mind your own business, what they get up to in the wee small hours is nothing to do with us.”

“Spoilsport!”

I felt myself blush a bit as we sat down and I rather self-consciously poured myself some orange juice.

“Erm…” I said, “did you have a nice night?”

They looked at each other and giggled. From their looks and lack of response, it seemed that their night could have been as eventful as ours!

“So,” said Michelle, diplomatically changing the subject. “What’s the plan for today?”

“SHOPPING!” shouted Pat and Sharon to the amazement of a couple sitting at the next table.

We all burst out laughing and I wondered what sort of day this was going to be.

We all piled into Michelle’s Merc and headed towards the shopping centre. Parkway it was called and it boasted that it was the largest shopping centre in the UK.

I was being practical as it was a bit cold and was wearing some boot cut jeans with black low heeled boots, a sky blue blouse and my long cream hooded cardigan over it; warm and practical–that’s me.

Not having a huge amount to spend, I had budgeted  £100.00 to spend today, but no more. I was going to be strong and blinkered, no over spending for this girl! Anyway I didn’t need much as I had my dress for tonight hanging up in my wardrobe and I hoped that Michelle would like it. All the girls were playing close to their chests what they were wearing tonight and it would be interesting to see if we all made good choices. As far as I was concerned though, Michelle could wear a sack and I would still think that she looked beautiful.

We hit the shops, starting at one end and several hours later arriving, worn out and considerably lighter in the purse, at the other. The other girls had several bags each, but I only had two. In one was a bag that would go just right with my dress tonight and the other had some lingerie that Michelle might find interesting later on tonight.

Being Christmas, the place had an overload of Christmas decorations, kids queuing for Santa in his grotto, never to be repeated sales and shoppers worn out, trying to find presents for loved ones.

Half way through our marathon; by now getting a bit fed up with the mazak playing ‘The Holly and The Ivy’ and ‘Silent Night’ over the loud speakers continually in a loop, we stopped for a bite to eat and some well deserved recuperation in John Lewis Department Store.

We grabbed one of the few free tables, once we had purchased our sandwiches and drinks; I must admit that I was quite grateful when I sank into a chair with an audible sigh.

After feeding and watering ourselves, we compared what we had bought; Sharon had gone mad, buying three dresses, two tops, some jeans and a sparkly jumper. Pat had bought some killer heels, a coat, a few blouses and a game for her Wii.

Michelle was a bit more restrained with her buying but had bought a fabulous black silk dress, some black boots from Dolcis and undies from M&S. The dress alone cost what I earn in a month at the Home. Compared to what the others bought, my purchases seemed a bit meagre, but I explained that my budget was a bit stretched at the moment and they kindly left it at that.

“Well, Karen,” asked Pat. “How are you finding your real life test, you’ve been on it for how long?”

“Three months two days seven hours and…fourteen minutes, approximately.” I replied after glancing at my watch.

“So?”

“Oh, how am I doing? It’s okay I suppose, I still worry about going out in public and I have someone at work who is being a bit of a bitch, but apart from the mood swings and occasional bouts of feeling yuckie, things are okay.”

“So who’s being bitchy?” asked Sharon.

“My supervisor. She still sometimes calls me ‘he’ and she gives me disgusting looks sometimes. I know that she talks behind my back as one of the other girls told me. She has complained that I use the ladies toilet and thinks that I should use the men’s; I don’t know what to do about it, because if I complain I might lose my job and I don’t want to rock the boat.”

“Sod the job,’ exclaimed Pat, “you can always get another one.”

“In the real world, it isn’t as easy as you think. Anyway, I’ll stick with it for now and if it gets too bad, I’ll think of something else.”

Michelle put her hands over mine and squeezed it.

“Tell me if I can do anything, won’t you?”

I just smiled and nodded, comforted by her obvious concern for me. We turned to other matters and spent quite a long time quizzing each other about what we were wearing at tonight’s dance, but everyone was tight-lipped and I only hoped that we didn’t clash with each other, colour and style wise.

As we returned to the hotel, I hoped that the coming evening was going to be as good a last night. Michelle and I had really found each other and it gave me a warm feeling that we were going to share the evening again and hopefully spend the night together too. I was a bit sad that tomorrow it would all be over.

Two hours later, I was just finishing off getting ready. Looking at the clock on the wall, I noticed that I had just fifteen minutes until Michelle came for me.

My dress was a sexy black one from Karen Millen. I saw it in a sale at Selfridges while I was still earning good money. As soon as I saw it, I knew that I had to have it. The amazing dress was figure hugging with a satiny feel and sheen to it. It went to just above the knee and with my sheer nude stockings and black three inch heels, it looked wonderful.

I had a thin string of pearls around my neck with a matching string on my wrist. My hair had just been put up and styled by Sandra in the hotel salon; she had also sorted out my rather scruffy nails and they were painted almost the exact shade of the glossy plum lipstick that I was wearing.

I put my black lace shrug on my shoulders, sat on the bed and looked at the clock again, two minutes to go…

I quickly checked in my black clutch bag. Did I have enough tissues, lipstick…There was a knock on the door. One last look at my reflection and then I opened the door.

My mouth opened as I saw Michelle. She was stunning, her hair was styled in a straight bob that went down to her chin, her makeup was flawless and her pink lips plump and sensuous. She was looking at me with her mouth slightly open and her eyes were out on stalks.

Michelle’s dress was a calf length turquoise prom style dress with a beautiful shimmer that set off her complexion perfectly. The diaphanous material sort of flowed down her lovely body; enhancing her shape and making me go a bit weak at the knees. The matching shawl draped around her slender shoulders just added to the wonderful vision before me.

“Wow.” I said.

“Wow, yourself. Karen you look…stunning.”

“I look plain compared to you.”

“No you don’t; I love your hair, the dress is made for you and …oh I think you are…gorgeous! Anyway, I think we ought to be going don’t you?”

I just nodded, closed the door behind me and arm in arm we walked down the corridor to the lift. We had agreed to meet the others outside the conference room so that we could go in together. We entered the empty lift and, Michelle immediately embraced me and…well, we were somewhat breathless as the lift doors silently slid open and had to go into the ladies to, erm, freshen up!

Once everything was in order again, we made our way to the conference room. As promised, outside were the others. Sharon was wearing a long flowing evening gown in sheer pale dusky pink with a pale aubergine satin underdress just peeping out below… It had a plunging neckline that did little to hide her assets. She looked positively radiant. Not to be outdone, Pat was wearing a stunning strappy pearlescent turquoise evening dress, with a matching wrap. We all looked pretty pleased with ourselves and I was somewhat relieved that none of the styles or colours matched!

We followed a stream of girls into the conference room. Everyone had obviously made a special effort and I was almost blinded by the amount of diamonds and pearls on show. Whether they were real or not, it looked a pretty classy to me!

We found our table from the chart by the door and made our way over to our seats. I suppose that there must have been at least a hundred in the room and the noise levels were quite loud. We almost had to shout too hear ourselves over the background music and the chat coming from the other tables. Looking around I could see that they had gone overboard with the tinsel, balls and lights. Every table had a three arm candelabra, with red and golden candles. There were holly centre pieces, silver place settings and tall wine glasses with red napkins folded neatly in them.

We were soon chatting away, drinking champers and generally adding to the noise levels. Everyone thought that we had done ourselves proud with our dresses and we congratulated ourselves on our sense of style.

The meal was typical Christmas fare–turkey with two types of stuffing, those lovely little sausages wrapped with bacon, roast and boiled potatoes, brussel sprouts served in the Swiss manner with chestnuts and plenty of wine to wash it all down.

The Christmas pudding was lovely and we had to pound Sharon’s back as she nearly swallowed a pound coin!

After the meal and a short respite while we let our meal go down a bit, the tables were moved to the sides and the disco started. After a few minutes and despite the gargantuan meal, people started drifting onto the dance floor. We joined the throng were soon gyrating to the pulsating music.

I’m not really used to drinking that much and I soon got a wee bit squiffy. I didn’t let it put me off and too much as I was having such a great time, especially when the slow dances started. Michelle and I had many dances where we were more interested in each other’s tonsils than any real attempt at dancing properly. Just holding her body against mine was enough for me to feel as if I was in heaven. We kissed a lot, not really able to hold any meaningful conversation due to the noises around us…but that was enough and I was so very happy. Deep in my heart I felt that I was falling head over heels in love with this lovely lady.

After a few hours, I could feel as I danced, a headache developing on one side of my head, I was feeling a bit sick and my sight was getting somewhat blurry. At first, I thought it was the drink, but I had in the past suffered a bit from migraine and I could tell the signs. I motioned to Michelle that I wanted to go back to the table where Sharon and Pat were holding hands and whispering sweat nothings to each other. They looked up as we arrived and shouted, “hi”.

I winced and just sat down rather heavily; Michelle looked at my eyes and felt my forehead.

“I think we ought to make a move,” she said.

“No, I’ll be all right. Can I have a drink of water?”

After sipping the drink I looked at Michelle. She looked a bit worried.

“I’m okay, honest.” I said as I tried to get up and promptly sat down as the room started spinning.

“Right,” said Michelle, “Goodnight girls, we’ll see you in the morning.”

I can’t really remember much else. My head was throbbing and my eyes sort of started seeing flashing lights and my hands and feet started to go all tingly. I do remember getting all upset that I was ruining Michelle’s evening and I got a bit tearful…

I woke up in bed. The lights were out and my migraine was thankfully only in my memory. I was pleased about that because the last one I had lasted 24 hours.

I turned on the bedside lamp and blinking in the sudden brightness, I saw that I was in my own room and I was alone. I was wearing my silky nightie so I assumed that Michelle had somehow undressed me.

Looking at the other pillow, I could see that Michelle had not slept with me. Had I blown it with her?

To be continued...

Please leave comments...thanks

My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing and pulling the story into shape.

I looked at my watch; it was three in the morning. Lying back against the pillows, I wondered what Michelle would think of me. Did she think that my migraine was just an excuse? Had I drunk too much?   Love Hurts by Susan Brown

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Part 2 of 3

Previously...
 
After sipping the drink I looked at Michelle. She looked a bit worried.

“I’m okay, honest,” I said as I tried to get up and promptly sat down as the room started spinning.

“Right,” said Michelle, “Goodnight girls, we’ll see you in the morning.”

I can’t really remember much else. My head was throbbing and my eyes sort of started seeing flashing lights and my hands and feet started to go all tingly. I do remember getting all upset that I was ruining Michelle’s evening and I got a bit tearful…

I woke up in bed. The lights were out and my migraine was thankfully only in my memory. I was pleased about that because the last one I had lasted 24 hours.

I turned on the bedside lamp and blinking in the sudden brightness, I saw that I was in my own room and I was alone. I was wearing my silky nightie so I assumed that Michelle had somehow undressed me.

Looking at the other pillow, I could see that Michelle had not slept with me. Had I blown it with her?

And now the story continues…

After sipping the drink I looked at Michelle. She looked a bit worried.

“I’m okay, honest.” I said as I tried to get up and promptly sat down as the room started spinning.

“Right,” said Michelle, “Goodnight girls, we’ll see you in the morning.”

I can’t really remember much else. My head was throbbing and my eyes sort of started seeing flashing lights and my hands and feet started to go all tingly. I do remember getting all upset that I was ruining Michelle’s evening and I got a bit tearful…

I woke up in bed. The lights were out and my migraine was thankfully only in my memory. I was pleased about that because the last one I had lasted 24 hours.

I turned on the bedside lamp and blinking in the sudden brightness, I saw that I was in my own room and I was alone. I was wearing my silky nightie so I assumed that Michelle had somehow undressed me.

Looking at the other pillow, I could see that Michelle had not slept with me. Had I blown it with her?

And now the story continues…

I looked at my watch; it was three in the morning. Lying back against the pillows, I wondered what Michelle would think of me. Did she think that my migraine was just an excuse? Had I drunk too much? Thinking back, I realised that I had only had three glasses but maybe she hadn’t been counting. I cursed the crappy migraine; it was the first attack I’d experienced in nearly a year. It would have to happen now, wouldn’t it!

I got up and went into the bathroom for a wee. Sitting on the cold seat, I reflected that this year had not been a very lucky one for me and thank God that it was nearly over. I yawned, still very tired and a bit washed out after my migraine attack.

Soon I made my way back to bed and switched the light off. Thankfully, I fell asleep almost as soon as my head touched the pillow and had a relatively calm night.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of ringing. Reaching out, I picked up the phone, nearly dropping it as I did so. I pressed the handset to my ear; was it Michelle?

‘This is your morning wake up call, I hope you have a nice day.’ said the impersonal recording.

‘Bugger off.’ I said and put the phone down.

Yawning hugely, I looked at my watch; 7.00am time to get up, I supposed. I had a quick shower and washed my hair. After drying my hair, I went back into the bedroom and over to the closet. I picked out my cream; satin lined suede effect skirt and cream satin blouse and put them on the bed. I was still sort of numb, upset at the thought of Michelle probably not wanting to see me again. Being rather fragile and lacking in self esteem, I was definitely not feeling too bright and optimistic this morning. To say that I was not a happy bunny would be something of an understatement.

I slipped on my bra, lacy panties and tights; then went over to the dressing table to do my makeup. I think that I was on auto pilot as I did my face and it is a testament to my growing expertise that despite the distractions I was able to make a creditably reasonable job of it.
As I walked over to the bed, I noticed a slip of paper on the floor, nearly under the bed.
Bending down, I picked it up and my heart beat faster as I read the note.

Karen,
Sorry for the quick scribble but I’m in a hurry.
You were pretty well out of it went we got back to your room, so I got you undressed and made sure that you would be okay. Migraines are the pits. My mother still suffers badly from them so I know a bit about what it’s like on a personal level.
I had a phone call about one of my patients and I have to go and sort him out. I wanted to stay with you but his need was greater than yours I’m afraid so I have to go. I probably won’t be back until breakfast so hopefully we’ll meet up again then.
Love Michelle.
XXXXX
PS I miss you already!!

I started to tear up as I read the note. So I hadn’t lost her after all! Suddenly the day seemed a bit brighter and my disposition changed from being on the dark side to ‘all was happy with the world’ mode.

I quickly finished dressing and made my way downstairs for breakfast. There weren’t many people in the dining room, but as I glanced over to one side, I could see Sharon and Pat sitting eating their breakfast; there was no sign of Michelle.

‘Hi girls,’ I said, sitting down.

‘Hello, Karen, how are you?’

‘Okay Pat; a bit tired but my thumping headache has gone.’

‘Where’s Michelle?’ asked Sharon.

‘She was called out for a sick patient.’

‘Bummer.’

‘Mmm,’ I said as I tucked into some cornflakes.

After drinking some coffee I felt at least fifty percent human again. I looked up and smiled as I saw Michelle walking across the room, coming in our direction. She looked a bit tired, having been up for hours, but had a lovely smile on her face as she looked at me; my tummy felt all squishy for some reason.

‘Hi girls.’ she said brightly as she gave me a peck on the cheek and sat down next to me.

‘’Rough night?’ asked Sharon as she poured Michelle a cup of coffee.

‘Yes; one of my patients had a heart attack and it was touch and go, but I think he’ll be okay now. That will teach him not to play squash when he’s three stones overweight with blood pressure and cholesterol through the roof. Some people never learn.’

‘It’s a shame that you were on call while being here. Couldn’t someone else do it?’ enquired Pat.

‘Not really. We aren’t like the NHS; when you have private patients who pay a lot for our services, they expect to see their own doctor and not a locum.’

‘But you do a lot of NHS work too.’ I said, ‘you shouldn’t work so hard; how many hours do you normally work in a week?’

‘I’ve lost count,’ laughed Michelle, ‘It would be easier to ask how many hours I didn’t work.’

I looked at her, concerned that she was going to burn out if she didn’t choose between private or NHS. But I decided to keep my thoughts to myself for now. I didn’t want her to think I was nagging; I wasn’t her wife, after all!

‘Are you okay now?’ Michelle asked me.

‘Yes, I’m fine. Sorry about last night.’

‘It was a great night except for your migraine that is. At least you had a nice time until nearly the end.’

‘That’s true,’ I laughed, ‘thanks for seeing me safe and putting me to bed.’

Both Sharon and Pat said at the same time, ‘Too much information!’ and we all laughed, my face going all hot for some reason.

We finished our breakfast and then it was time to say goodbye to Pat and Sharon. They were going up town shopping and then home.

After kisses and hugs, they left the breakfast room promising to keep in touch; leaving Michelle and I to have a final coffee before going up and doing the packing.

I hoped that Michelle and I could see a lot of each other in the future, if that was possible and as we spoke quietly to one another, I could see that she felt the same.

I looked into her eyes and could see the dark circles under them.

‘You work too hard.’ I said, frowning.

‘I know; I need to lighten up a bit. My practice partner Brian was saying only the other day that we could do with a couple more doctors and I think that we have sort of decided to start looking around in the new year.’

‘Good, I don’t like seeing you tired.’

She reached across the table and held my hand.

‘It’s nice that you care; nobody has done that for a while.’

‘It feels a bit strange to me too. When I woke up this morning, I believed that you were angry with me and thought that I had too much to drink. Then I saw your note and I felt a whole lot better.’

Michelle smiled and then glanced at her watch.

‘I suppose we ought to go and pack.’

I just sort of smiled sadly and just nodded.

Forty minutes later, I had packed and was ready to leave. I sat on the bed and recalled the things that had happened over the last few days. There was a knock on the door I snapped out of it. Getting up, I went over to open the door. Standing there was Michelle with her coat and two cases.

‘Come in.’

We sat on the sofa holding hands. I was so sad that our time together was nearly over.
‘Have you brought your car?’ asked Michelle.

‘No, I was going to take the train.’ I still hadn’t told her about not having a car; I was a bit ashamed about my circumstances really and didn’t want to dwell on my near pauper status. Okay pauper is a bit strong, but you get my meaning.

‘Look, can I give you a lift home or better still, can you spend the day with me?’

‘Aren’t you on call?’

‘Yes, but with luck I won’t be needed. Last night was a bit exceptional; anyway, my partner owes me, so I’ll ask him to cover if necessary.’

‘I thought that you said your patients expect a personal service from you.’

‘They do, but sometimes we need to have a bit of time off and anyway Brian has a better bedside manner than me. What do you say?’

The thought of going back to that dreary flat kind of made me shiver a bit. I wasn’t due back at work for until tomorrow afternoon - Christmas Eve. Looking at Michelle, I knew that I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her and so I just smiled and nodded.

‘Wheeee!’

I was given a big hug and showered with kisses. Then, we sort of lost track of time and I needed to do some emergency work on my makeup before we left the room and went downstairs to hand our keys into reception. Michelle was one passionate girl!

At reception, we thanked the manager for the lovely time we had and were soon in Michelle’s car heading out of town.

After a while we were out in the country and the fields went by in a blur as we talked about our weekend and what we intended to do today.

‘Do you fancy some lunch?’ enquired Michelle.

‘That would be nice.’

‘I know somewhere that you will like, not too expensive and it’s in a lovely village.’

‘That sounds lovely.’

About twenty minutes later, we found ourselves going through a quaint little village complete with thatched roof cottages, a church and village green with a pond in the middle, occupied by large numbers of quaking ducks and the odd swan or two. It was an American tourists dream; the sort of place that they made puzzles out of.

On the far side of the green, was a thatched roofed pub that looked very old, pretty and Quaint with a capital Q. Michelle parked the car around the back in the small car park and we walked through the rear entrance of the pub and into a small bar. There were several people there, drinking quietly and seated around the tables that dotted the room. Some of the customers looked up and smiled at us. That was nice because you sometimes go into pubs and conversation stops as they look at the strange newcomers. On the far wall was a large blazing log fire which was very welcoming but rather hot if you went too near it. The ceiling was low and had dark wooden beams. This was no mock up of an oldie world pub, it was the real thing.

We walked up to the bar and were greeted by a jovial rather large man.

‘Hello Michelle, not seen you in here for a while?’

‘Hi Jeff; yes too busy as usual, but it’s nice to be back; this is my friend Karen,’

‘Hello Karen, it’s nice to see you; what can I get you both?’

‘Can I just have a diet coke please?’

‘Certainly, and you Michelle?’

‘I’ll have same please. Are you serving lunches?’

‘Yes; here are your drinks. You can take them through to the dining room if you like. Sandra will bring you some menus.’

We walked through an archway and sat at one of the free tables. Several people said hello to Michelle and I wondered if they knew about her history. If they did, it didn’t seem to matter. Thinking about that made me recall the problems I had at work with my supervisor, I wondered how much longer I could take the harassment. I wish she was more accepting.

A pleasant looking woman walked up to the table with a nice open smile on her face.

‘Hello Michelle, nice to see you again.’

‘Hi Sandra, you’re looking well.’

‘Not too bad, Jeff’s driving me nuts as usual but apart from that, things are fine.’

‘Sandra, this is Karen. Karen meet Sandra, Jeff’s long suffering wife.’

‘Hello.’ I said a bit shyly.

‘Nice to meet you Karen; now here are the menus; I’ll leave you to have a look and I’ll be back shortly.’

It was simple pub style food and I ordered steak pie and chips and Michelle opted for fish and chips — nice and healthy — not!

When the food came, it was piping hot, lots of it and delicious. I cleared the plate, something I don’t normally do. We talked about lots of things while we ate; our jobs, the lovely weekend that we had, clothes, makeup. It was lovely to chat like this and the time flew by.

‘So,’ I said, dipping into some ice cream, ‘you know this place quite well.’

‘I should do, it’s my local.’

‘So you live near here then. I thought I recognised the name of the village from our chats on line. Little Bottom is not a name you can forget!’

‘Yes,’ she laughed, ‘at least it’s not called Pratt’s Bottom!’

We both had a bit of a giggle at that! I looked at my watch and realised that we had been sitting here for nearly two hours!

‘Well,’ I said, finishing my coffee and looking around, noticing that we were the only diners still there, ‘what now?’

‘Well we could go for a drive, but it will be dark soon. I so hate it in the winter when the nights draw in so quickly. Or, if you want to, I could show you my little house.’

‘I’d love to see your place. You’ve never talked much about it and I’m like most girls, dying to see your net curtains, soft furnishings not forgetting your etchings!’

We both laughed and then Michelle paid the bill. I offered to help but she just told me that it was my turn next time.

We thanked Jeff and Sandra for the nice meal and Michelle promised them that she would try to get in a bit more often. Stepping out into the cold air reminded me that wearing a skirt can be a bit counterproductive at times. We walked as briskly as possible to the Merc and as soon as we were both in, Michelle started the engine. Soon the heater started working and we lost some of our chilliness as the warmth permeated into our bones.

We turned left out of the car park and went down the main road, if you could call it that, out of the village, past the post office, butchers, bakers and a few other small shops.

After about a mile, we turned off into a small country lane with hedgerows on each side. There were a few houses on each side of the road and they all looked somewhat affluent. Finally, we turned into a drive that led up to a rather large detached house, fairly modern with gables and large well laid out gardens. It was all quite lovely. Obviously, doctoring paid quite well!

We stopped outside the front doors and Michelle switched the engine off.

‘Here we are; what do you think?’

‘Bit of a dump.’ I said with a straight face, ‘I prefer my flat.’

‘Bloody cheek!’ laughed Michelle as she tickled me in places that make me blush thinking about it, even now!

We got out of the car and went into the house. It was as nice inside as it was out. The hall was large and had a central staircase leading to a large landing. I followed Michelle along a short corridor and that led into a large modern kitchen. As we walked in, I didn’t take in too much as standing to one side was a young woman about two or three years younger than me. She looked round as we came in.

‘Michelle!,’ she screeched, running to Michelle and throwing her arms around her shoulders.

I just stood there doing my famous impression of a goldfish, not quite sure what was going on.

‘Rachel, what are you doing home?’

Then I twigged. Rachel was Michelle’s younger sister, still at college and a bit of a live wire from what I had been told.

‘Well, I finished college a wee bit early so I thought would come and surprise you.’

She was pretty, quite thin with long blond hair that hung loosely down her shoulders. She had on a knee length black skirt and red jumper, black tights and boots. Michelle and Rachel were obviously very close and I smiled as I saw how they behaved towards each other.

Rachel glanced up and saw me, smiling, she let go of her sister and came over to me, hand outstretched.

Grabbing my hand she said, ‘Karen? It has to be you. I saw your piccie on Michelle’s computer. You look lovely.’

She looked at both of us and smiled.

You’re a couple aren’t you? I can tell. You have that look, you know the one. It’s when you can’t stand to be apart. This is lovely; I’ve wanted her to get together with someone ever since that bitch of a wife Catherine left her…’

‘Rachel, Karen doesn’t want to hear about that and anyway, she knows about it already.’

‘Spoilsport, you know I like a juicy bit of gossip. Anyway, it’s nice to meet you at last Karen. I knew from what Michelle told me that you were a bit special. She hasn’t stopped going on about seeing you at that do of yours for ages. Anyway, changing the subject as you two have both gone a lovely shade of beetroot red; anyone for a cuppa?’

I looked at Michelle and she looked at me and we both burst out laughing.

‘What? What have I said?’

That just started us off again…

A little while later, we were all relaxing in the comfortable sitting room, which was larger than my whole flat and drinking our coffees.

Michele was telling Rachel about our weekend and trying to steer her away from asking questions about what we got up to at night. She was incorrigible but we had to laugh. I liked Rachel, she was nice and refreshing and she obviously loved her sister to bits.

‘So,’ she said turning her radar on me. ‘I assume that you are staying the night and I don’t have to air one of the spare rooms?’

‘RACHEL!’ shouted a very embarrassed Michelle.’ Please keep your smutty remarks to yourself and anyway, we haven’t discussed anything like that.’

‘Look Rachel,’ I said, trying to look serious but, to be honest, it was a losing battle, ‘we don’t want to go too fast and anyway, I had intended to go back home this evening; we hadn’t made any other plans.’

‘Balls, as the actress said to the bishop. I can see that you too need to be joined at the hip. Look at the way you keep looking at each other. I bet it was lust at first sight. I don’t go in for all that lovey dovey stuff and I probably won’t until Mr or Miss or even Mrs Right comes along; then I expect to get all gooey eyed like you too love birds. Until then, I can bully my sister and possible future sister in law…’

‘RACHEL!’ we both said at once. I hadn’t bargained on the possibility of permanent arrangements. I was just lucky to have found Michelle, and she me. Anything else would be for the future, if it happened at all.

‘Sorry! My, we are touchy. Anyway Karen, are you staying the night? I wish you would. I want to show you some piccies of Michelle when she was little and still Michael, even then she was cute. I have a nice one of her wearing her first fairy dress for a fancy dress. She was only four and Mummy said that she had a hell of a job prising her out of it and into boys stuff. There were tears at bed time evidentially.

‘Look Rachel,’ said Michelle with the sound of desperation in her voice, ‘please leave it. I’m sure that Karen doesn’t want to hear about my misspent youth…’

‘Oh I do,’ I smiled mischiefly. ‘I want to know every dirty little detail.’

‘Oh, so erm, will you stay the night then?’

‘If you’re asking.’

‘I’m asking.’

‘Then yes. It would be lovely. Tell me.’ I said turning to Rachel.’ Did she ever wear a tutu?’

‘Funny you should say that…’

I could hear a sort of groaning sound coming from Michelle and I had a feeling that tonight was going to be enjoyable.

That evening was fun. I got to know Rachel a lot better and under that slightly aggressive attitude, she was quite soft underneath. We laughed over Michelle’s photo album and I could see that from a young age, she looked much more a girl than a boy. We had a snack for tea, just sandwiches and cake. We were both a still a bit full up from our extended lunch and Rachel said she was on a diet, though why she said that I didn’t know as she was quite thin and had a gorgeous body.

We sat long into the evening chatting about ourselves. Rachel was studying for the law and hoped to be a hotshot barrister when she completed her studies. Michelle talked about her practice and how she hoped that things would calm down a bit when they got a few more doctors on board. I told them about my previous work with computers and the fact that I was now in a low paid job looking after the elderly and how I didn’t get on with my supervisor.

‘She can’t be like that,’ said Rachel, ‘it sounds a lot like harassment and bullying to me.

Do you want me to have a word with one of my tutors; she is well up on that side of the law?’

‘Thanks, but no. I’m a big girl now. I want to see if I can outlast her. There is quite a high turnover of staff in my type of work and she might be gone in a few months.’

Rachel was doubtful but made me promise to tell her if things got too bad.

All too soon it was nearly midnight and Rachel gave us both a kiss and went off to bed. I could see that she was bursting to say something outrageous about something, but she held off after a ‘look’ from Michelle.

We went out to the car and brought the cases in. With everything going on, we had forgotten to go and get them earlier.

We took the cases upstairs to Michelle’s bedroom. Opening my case, I remembered that my nightie was a bit grubby for some reason and Michelle said that she would find something for me to wear. I went into the bathroom, had a wee and then cleaned the makeup off my face. After cleaning my teeth and brushing my hair, I went back into the bedroom. Michelle was sitting on the bed.

‘All done? I’ve left a nightie on the bed for you; it should fit okay. I’ll just go and get ready myself.’

She kissed me briefly on the lips, sending slight shocks down my spine in doing so and went into the bathroom.

Looking on the bed, I could see a gold coloured satin baby doll nightie with matching panties. Picking them up, I could see that they looked very expensive and well made. I took my clothes off and then put the lovely confection on. I loved the feel of the smooth fabric against my hairless body. I sat on the bed and waited for Michelle to appear, hoping she wouldn’t be too long as I desperately wanted have her in my arms again.

A few seconds later, the door opened and there she was. She was wearing the same as I was but in a silver colour. She had brushed her hair until it shone and she looked quite edible. I stood up and went over to her. We said nothing, we didn’t need to. I felt the heat from her body through the thin satin fabric as we embraced each other urgently. Soon, we were on the bed, our legs entwined as we passionately made love. Her pert little buds were standing to attention as I licked them through the satin. We kissed and caressed each other. Things got a bit warm and we were soon naked in each other’s arms, we explored each other’s mouths; our passion rising as our bodies were warmed by the heat of our wonderful love making. Breaking off for a moment, rather breathlessly, I looked into her lovely eyes and then glanced at her wonderful slightly plump, moist and shiny red lips, open and ready for another sweet encounter, I marvelled how lucky I was to have found her as our lips met once again.

After a while, we lay side by side. She was stroking my hair gently with her hand. I wet my finger and then traced it over one of her erect nipples. Michelle groaned with pleasure and her eyes closed. I could feel her tremble slightly as I continued to explore her body first with my hands and then with my mouth and tongue. Her body was as smooth as the satin that we had recently been wearing; and it was so wonderfully intimate the way we were feeling.

Lifting my hair slightly, she kissed my neck, making me shiver with anticipation; I then felt her tongue tickle my ear lobe and my body sort of shuddered with pleasure. After doing unspeakable things to my ears, her tender lips went to mine and we kissed once again tenderly, but she didn’t stop there, soon she was playing with my little breasts making me pant and writhe with pleasure…

Modesty forbids my mentioning some of the other things that we did that wonderful night, but it was quite some time after that we fell asleep in each other’s arms; happy, contented and very relaxed.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of birds twittering outside. Being winter, I assumed that they were robins or something similar but I wasn’t very up on birds of the feathered variety. Turning over, I could see that Michelle wasn’t around. I looked at my watch and saw that it was eight in the morning. Remembering that Michelle liked to go for early morning runs, I wasn’t too worried. I preferred squash myself at a more civilised time of day; that was before I became somewhat poorer.

I yawned and stretched and then got up. I felt a bit chilly as I didn’t have a stitch of clothes on. Smiling at the memory of last night, I went into the bathroom, had a shower, put on my undies and then some jeans and a top. Then I packed my case again. I had to be in work that afternoon, not that I relished it. I quickly applied some makeup and brushed my hair, and then I was ready to face the world.

Going down stairs, I could hear a voice coming from the sitting room, it sounded like Michelle so I went over to the door. Just as I was about to open it I could hear that she was talking to someone on the phone. Not wanting to disturb her, I turned away just as I heard the name Catherine.

Intrigued, I stopped to listen. I hate eves dropping but when I heard the name of Michelle’s ex wife, I just couldn’t help myself. Maybe they were having a row and I could give her a kiss and cuddle after she came off the phone.

‘It’s nice to hear from you again, Catherine… Yes I know it has been a long time… We did say a lot of upsetting things…. I know, we should be friends not enemies…. We had a lot of fun together before it went wrong… Yes I’d love to meet up. When? Okay, it’s a date…’

I walked away and went back upstairs. So Catherine and Michelle had not finished after all. I felt numb inside and then hurt and angry. I wanted to confront Michelle and find out what was going on. Was I just being used? I went into the bedroom and over to the window. It was quite light now and sunny in a cold sort of way. There was a slight frost on the ground and the sky was deep blue. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Michelle running down the drive wearing a track suit. As I watched her go, I made my mind up. I couldn’t face her. I had had enough of disappointments in my life and I didn’t want to hear her say that we didn’t have a future. I need to leave and leave now! I know that I said yesterday that I didn’t want to think about anything permanent, but deep in my heart, that is exactly what I wanted, but now it wasn’t going to happen.

I assumed that Rachel was still in bed as I could hear no sounds around the house. I finished packing and put my boots on. I was in a hurry because I wanted to be well away before Michelle came back and Rachel got up.

I carried my case downstairs and went into the kitchen.

There was a note pad and pen on the dresser and I wrote a short note.

Michelle,
Sorry it didn’t work out. I hope that you can find some happiness now.
Karen.

I left the note on the table and went out.

I didn’t meet Michelle on the way to the village and was glad of that as I didn’t want to have a scene. As I reached the main road, I could see a bus coming. Running to the stop, I just managed to catch it. Soon I was going back to town and my dreary flat and the job that didn’t pay enough, with a supervisor who hated me. Outside I was calm but inside I was crying my eyes out.

To be continued...

Please leave comments...thanks

My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing and pulling the story into shape.

All too soon, I was back in town. As I got off the bus, my heart felt as if it had broken...   Love Hurts by Susan Brown

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Final Part

Love hurts, love scars,
Love wounds, and marks,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain,
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts.


(Lyrics by Boudleaux Bryant and Felice Bryant)

Previously...
 

There was a note pad and pen on the dresser and I wrote a short note.
Michelle,

Sorry it didn’t work out. I hope that you can find some happiness now.
Karen.

I left the note on the table and went out.
Luckily, I didn’t meet Michelle on the way to the village and was glad, because I didn’t want to have a scene. As I reached the main road, I could see a bus coming. Running to the stop, I just managed to catch it. Soon I was going back to town and my dreary flat and the job that didn’t pay enough, with a supervisor who hated me. Outside I was calm but inside I was crying my eyes out.

And now, the conclusion…

All too soon, I was back in town. As I got off the bus, my heart felt as if it had broken. I know that I shouldn’t have got my hopes up, but after the wonderful time I had had with Michelle, I hoped deep in my heart that I’d finally found the love of my life. Funny thing was that I had found her, but Michelle had emotional baggage that she obviously had not been able to get over.

I let myself in to what I laughingly called my home. There were a few letters on the mat; mainly of the red variety. One looked hand written, so after plonking my case in the bedroom, I looked at it.

Dear Tenant,
I regret to inform you that I have to give you 21 days notice to vacate the premises.
I have sold the property to a housing association and they require vacant possession on the 30th of the month. As your tenancy was short term and due to the fact that you owe me two months’ rent, I expect you to vacate the premises by the above date. Failure to do so will mean that I will have to get a court order to remove you. If you leave by the due date, I will write off any monies owed to me.
Please confirm as soon as possible that you will be moving y the 30th of this month.
Yours faithfully,

Melinda Trimble.

I sat on the bed and wept. This was all I needed. Where would I be able to get somewhere to live that I could afford? Knowing that cow of a landlady, hell would freeze over before she would give me a reference. I would have to eat into my rapidly dwindling savings to scrape together a deposit for a new place. I was sick of everything. This week had started out so nice and hopeful and now it had gone so very badly wrong.

I unpacked my clothes and did a bit of washing. Then I had some lunch; a Pot Noodle that tasted of cardboard and a cup of tea. I had a quick nap on the bed and then, all too soon, it was time for work. I put on my uniform and brushed my hair, tied it back with a scrunchie and then after putting on my sensible, low heeled black shoes; I was ready for another shift at the Home.

I caught the bus outside and all too soon was outside the home. I keyed in the number on the entrance door and it clicked open. I wasn’t too sure if the security measures were to keep undesirables out or the inmates in!

I saw Paula, one of the other carers walk by as I approached the office, she smiled “hello” as I walked in.

Behind the desk was my supervisor. I had never seen her smile and her face looked like she wasn’t going to change that habit after she looked up and saw me.

‘You’re late.’

‘No I’m not, the clock’s running fast.’

‘Don’t argue with me, if I say you are late then you are. You are on the second floor today looking after rooms twenty to twenty-five. I won’t keep you.’

She began writing on her pad so I assumed, from her actions, that the interview was over. Although I found it very hard not to say something I might regret, I just left her without saying a word.

Rooms twenty to twenty-five were occupied by the most dependent residents in the home. The normal practice was that the carers were rotated on this duty, but I always seemed to get caught with it. So I looked forward to eight hours of high maintenance caring, involving changing, lifting, nappy and colostomy bag duties with people who were, in the main senile and not able to help themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I felt sorry for those men and women and I could cry at how they were sometimes, but eight hours with only sketchy support from other carers when it was absolutely necessary, was bit soul destroying.

It was several hours later that I was sitting in the staff room having a well-earned break. I hadn’t stopped thinking about Michelle and what had happened and I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. The staff room had been decorated with tinsel stuff and a rather pathetic plastic Christmas tree with obligatory winking lights. I can’t say it cheered up the room very much!

I was very tired from what I had been doing with Michelle the night before and the labour intensive work that I had been doing up to now. I must have closed my eyes for a few seconds when I was rudely awakened by a shout.

‘What the hell are you doing?’

My eyes snapped open and there was my supervisor standing in front of my looking rather angry. I glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed that my break should have finished about one minute ago.

‘Sorry.’ I said yawning and getting up.

‘Sorry isn’t enough. You are late on the job and that is a sackable offence.’

‘But, I’m only a minute late!’

‘I’ve just about had enough of you. I didn’t want you working here in the first place. You are disgusting, pretending to be a woman. How you can use the Ladies toilet and not feel ashamed, I’ll never know. I think that you are just a pervert that gets his jollies from dressing up as a woman…now go and get back to work!’

She shoved me from behind, making me bite my tongue.

I snapped; turning back, I just slapped her around the face. I instantly regretted it, but hours of pent up shame anger, hurt and suffering went into that slap.

‘I resign!’ I shouted.

‘No, you’re fired and I’ll prosecute you for hitting me you bastard! Now get out.’

I looked at her and the naked hatred on her face. There was no way back from this. I knew I shouldn’t have hit her, but I was provoked and, on reflection, I was pleased that I had wiped the sneer off of her face. I picked up my coat and bag and walked out.

‘Don’t bother to ask references,’ she sneered to me as I went, ‘just wait for the solicitors letter!’

I left the home with mixed feelings. It was a job, not much of one but still something that helped me pay my way. My tongue still felt a bit sore and I was pretty depressed.

As I walked down the road, tears in my eyes, I was dimly aware that it was now getting dark. I could have waited for a bus, but I needed to clear the cobwebs from my mind and as I passed the houses with their cheerful decorations, I felt very far from cheerful.

I walked through the shopping centre, still busy with late night shoppers getting the final presents for their loved ones. Christmas Eve; I used to love that as a child. The only thing that I never got from my Christmas list was my wish to be a girl and wear lovely girlie things. My mother always crossed those items out, saying that it wasn’t right for me to ask such Ungodly things. I can’t say that I was that unhappy though, as my parents loved me and my sister equally. I was just more than a bit jealous though of all the gorgeous girlish things my sister got for Christmas and I, of course, had to make do with more manly things like toy soldiers and footballs.

Coming back to the present reality, I had lost my home my job and most importantly the love of my life. They say troubles come in threes–what a three I had just experienced!

I crossed to the small park on the other side of the shopping centre and sat down on a bench. The park was well lit, as there were paths through it that led to several large car parks. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I wasn’t hungry and I didn’t really want to go back to the dismal flat. I must have sat there for a good hour. Gradually things got quieter and less people passed me by as the shops started shutting and the car parks emptied.

Eventually I got a bit chilly, so I got up and went to the Wimpy Bar, as I had to eat something. Perhaps it would help quieten the sick feeling that I had in my stomach. It was still open and serving, so I sat down and ordered a burger and fries from the bored waitress. I ate the rather bland burger and chips; the only good thing to say about it that it helped warm me up. I had some coffee after the meal and soon I was feeling rather full.

Looking at my watch, I saw it was nine pm and decided to make my way home and get some rest–I needed it. My mind was in a mess and I hoped that tomorrow would bring me a bit more clarity of thought.

It was about a twenty minute walk from the shopping centre to where I lived. At this time of night there were not many buses and, what with this being Christmas Eve, I was betting that the service was a bit restricted. So I decided to walk home. I saw a few people about, but it was getting a bit colder and so the streets were rather empty. Walking along, not paying much attention as to where I was going, I heard faintly in the distance the sound of a church organ and some singing. I walked towards the sound and as I turned the corner, I saw a church, floodlit and beautiful. Outside was a huge tree covered with lights. The sounds coming from the church sounded warm and inviting, so I decided almost without thinking to go in.

As I walked across the entrance I could hear the carol being sung–Hark The Herald Angels Sing. It gave me goose bumps and lifted my heart more than somewhat.

The church was packed with adults and children, all singing lustily and having a good time. I slipped into a pew at the back and picked up a hymn sheet. I was soon singing along and forgetting my troubles. Many carols I hadn’t sung since I was a young child and they brought back memories of times that were simpler and less heart breaking.

We were all quiet as a white clad choir boy sang Silent Night perfectly in tune. I am sure that I wasn’t the only one with tears in my eyes as I heard that angelic voice and it was with gusto that everyone joined in on the second chorus.

After that, we all sat down and the vicar said a few words.

He welcomed everyone to his church and said some things about Christmas and that the real meaning wasn’t about the presents and watching the TV. It was about the affirmation of life and the celebration of the birth of Jesus.

I was watching him as he spoke and then somehow, he seemed to be looking straight at me.

‘…it is also a time of togetherness, of families and forgiving others. A time for renewing friendships and strengthening ties. The Lord’s prayer says, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us.” So try in your heart to forgive those who have done you wrong and if you do that, you will feel and be a better person for it. A new year will soon be upon us and we all need to strive to be a better person and to help others whenever possible. Do not forget the sick and the elderly. Help wherever you can and do what you can to make this world a better place to live.’

There were a few more carols and I sang along with everyone else, but the vicar’s words touched me deeply and as I continued my way home, I realised that I had done the cowardly thing when I just left Michelle’s house without a word. I needed to finish things properly and not in the way I had done before. It was getting late, close to ten o’clock, but as I saw a taxi go by, without thinking, I hailed it and getting in, I asked him to take me to Michelle’s house. Perhaps she wasn’t there, but I had to try and try I would!

The village green looked quite pretty with lights in the trees and over the other side, the pub where Michelle and I had eaten looked warm and inviting. The lights shone on the village pond where the ducks were still splashing about and seemingly enjoying themselves. It was a peaceful and lovely place.

I was dropped off at the bottom of the drive. I could see through the trees that there was someone at home. I hoped that I would at least be given a chance to say my piece before I was turned away.

As I walked up the drive, it started to snow, just a few flakes at first that tickled my nose and made me want to sneeze. Then it got heavier all of a sudden and the ground around me started to blanket over with whiteness.

I reached the front door. My heart was pounding. Was this a good idea? Should I have just let go and leave things as they were? Then I remembered the vicar…’forgive us our trespasses’ and without further thought, I rang the bell.

A few seconds later the door opened and there was Michelle. Her mouth opened in shock. In an instant I could see that she had been crying and her eyes were red and sore looking.

Her face lit up and she said one word; ‘Karen,’ her voice breaking with emotion.

Grabbing my hand, she pulled me in and shut the door behind us.

Turning to me, she looked confused and just as she was about to say something I spoke.

‘Michelle, I shouldn’t have gone off like that. It was a cowardly thing to do so I had to come and explain…no don’t say anything, let me just tell you that I overheard you speaking to your wife and it was obvious that you still had something going with her. I was hurt and angry so I just decided to leave so that you and Catherine could patch things up…’

‘But…’

‘No, please let me finish. I know that I love you and that I wanted to be with you forever, but you would have hated me if I had come between you and Catherine. So I made the decision to leave before I got hurt any more…’

‘But…’

‘It was silly to think that you could really love someone like me. I have nothing going for me. I have no car… you didn’t know that, did you. I was so ashamed when I lied about that. Now I’ve been chucked out of my flat and I’ve lost my job because I hit that cow of a supervisor. So you’re lucky that you aren’t involved with me anymore. I bring bad luck to anyone and anything I touch. Anyway, I’ve said what I wanted to say. I do hope that you are happy with Catherine. You deserve a nice life and I hope that you can forgive…’

‘BE QUIET!’ she shouted and then continued more quietly, ‘please Karen, let me say something, but first can I take your coat. I think we both need a drink.’

‘I don’t know…’

‘Please, for me?’

‘All right, but I can’t stay long, I don’t know if I can get a bus, this late and I won’t get a taxi again…’

‘Karen, don’t worry about a taxi. Let’s have a drink.’

I sat opposite her, gin and tonic in my slightly shaking hand. Michelle took a long swig and then looked at me.

‘Michelle, I wish you had spoken to me before you rushed off…’
‘But…’

‘No. you’ve had your say, now please let me have mine. Catherine rang me this morning before I went out for a run. You heard one side of the conversation. She told me that she had met someone else and that she was marrying him. We spoke about how hard things had been between us towards the end and how much we regretted the harsh words. We agreed to meet up in order to sort out the change in circumstances and how it affected the divorce settlement, that’s all. When I came back from my run, I saw your note. I was devastated. I thought that you didn’t love me and you had changed your mind about us. I wanted us to be together and then I…I…saw your note…’
In moments I was in her arms and we held each other tightly. We cried a lot and laughed a bit and then after a while we kissed tenderly and then passionately.

After some time, we heard a rather loud cough from behind us.

‘If you two don’t stop, I’m getting a bucket of water. Nice to see you back, Karen, I told Michelle that this was just a lovers tiff but would she listen; nope. She’s been moping about crying and shouting ‘woe is me,’ all day. She wanted to send out search parties and possibly the Mounties and huskies…if they have such a thing in the UK, but she wouldn’t listen to her sister, oh no. I said that it was a storm in a tea cup and that you would come back.’

‘Rachel, please be quiet, we were having a private moment.’

‘Well pardon me for speaking. I’ll keep my mouth shut. Not another word. I know when I’m not wanted.’

‘You’re not wanted.’

‘Oh, I see. I’ll disappear then, shall I?’

‘Yes please.’

‘Right, if you say so. I’m not hurt really. I just wanted to share this moment…’

‘I give in; Karen, sorry, we’ll continue this when we have a bit more privacy.’

A few moments later, with fresh drinks in our hands, Rachel sat in the lounge with us as we discussed what had happened to me in more detail. They were very annoyed at the way I had left my job and the fact that I had been fired through no fault of my own except the small matter of slapping my supervisor around the face.

‘I doubt there’s much you can do about your flat–you were in arrears and anyway, it looks like you may get away with not paying what you owe if you go quietly.’

‘That doesn’t matter,’ said Michelle.

‘Why?’ I asked.

‘We’ll talk about that later.’

‘If I can continue–look, can you two stop making eyes at each other and pay attention to what I’m saying. My tutor’s red hot on discrimination and wrongful dismissal. What I do know is that they should have given you verbal and written warnings before giving you the sack.’

‘But I resigned.’

‘Under severe duress; they won’t know what hit them.’

I hit my supervisor.’

‘Only after she pushed you so it was self defence and her word against yours.’

‘Look,’ said Michelle, ‘it’s getting late. Let’s go to bed and we can talk more tomorrow.’

‘Can I call for a taxi?’

‘Why.’

‘Well I don’t want to be a bother and…’

‘Do you want to stay?’

‘Erm, yes, if that’s okay.’

‘You and I are going to have a serious, but nice talk tomorrow, but now that you’re here, I’m not letting you out of my sight. You look all done in; let’s get you to bed.’

‘I don’t have anything to wear.’

‘By the time I’ve finished with you, you won’t need anything…’

‘Oh, gross!’ exclaimed Rachel, ‘far too much information. I’m going to bed. See you two love birds tomorrow.’

Soon, we went up to bed. Michelle found me a nice long peach satin nightie that felt truly scrumptious. In the event, we didn’t do much in the way of gymnastics that night. We were both pretty worn out over the day’s events. We just lay in each other’s arms and fell asleep…

‘Happy Christmas!’

I woke with a jump. I was dimly aware that it was morning. I was still lying in the arms of Michelle, our legs entwined. The noise was coming from the doorway and I was aware that Rachel had arrived.

Michelle moaned next to me as we sort of unwound from each other and looked at Rachel, standing just inside the bedroom door wearing a red jumper and skirt and finished off with a red bobble hat on her head. She looked like Santa’s little helper and I wished that she would go help Santa and leave us alone to wake up more gradually.

‘What time is it?’ asked Michelle.

‘About seven thirty,’ came the sickeningly chirpy reply.

‘Go away.’

‘Look it’s Christmas day. You have to get up early, it’s obligatory. I read the rules somewhere.’

She was like a little kid. Her enthusiasm was infectious and all too soon we were thoroughly awake.

Then the worst thing happened; Rachel started singing.

‘We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Good tidings we bring to you and your kin;
Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year.’

It was nothing like the sweet voices in the church last night. It was awful, slightly off key and…it made Michelle and I laugh until there were tears running down our faces.

Half an hour later, dressed in borrowed skirt and top, I was downstairs helping to cook the traditional, bacon and eggs. It wasn’t my tradition but I decided to go with the flow and enjoy myself.

I had a lovely day, one of the best Christmases I had ever had since I was a child. Michelle and Rachel had presents for each other and I enjoyed watching them being opened. They were both a bit sad that they hadn’t anything for me or I them, but we decided to go shopping on Boxing Day so we could remedy that. I think they just liked shopping. To be honest, so did I when I had the funds.

We had the usual turkey and full trimmings and, feeling rather stuffed, we sat and watched the Queen on the box followed by that old favourite–It’s A Wonderful Life. We were all crying our eyes out at the sad bits but felt all warm inside at the happy ending.

Rachel was meeting up with some college friends in the evening. What they were going to do, I didn’t know as most places were shut, but knowing Rachel, she would find something.

When Rachel had gone, it was a bit quieter and Michelle and I sat on the sofa, hands entwined and talked about things. Despite having a very happy day, in the back of my mind, were the concerns I had for the future.

Michelle looked at me and smiled.

‘Have you had a nice day?’

‘Mmm, it was lovely. I didn’t know I could be so happy after all that has happened to me lately.’

‘It’s been lovely, hasn’t it? Now that Rachel has left us in peace, do you feel up to talking about the future.’

‘Okay, It’s been on my mind today, quite a bit.’

‘Mine too. What do you want to do?’

‘About what?’
‘About the future.’

I looked at her and all the insecurities came back.

‘I just want to be happy.’

Are you happy with me?’

‘Very. I–I love you so much.’

‘I do too–I mean love you. Look I know that all this is a bit fast, but we have known each other for ages and though we only saw each other face to face a few days ago, I feel like I’ve known you for ever.’

‘What are you saying.’

‘I–I; oh I’m no good at this. Rachel would just come straight out with it and not beat about the bush.’

She got up and stood in front of me and then she got down on a bended knee and looked up, into my eyes.

‘Karen, will you marry me?’

I went all gooey inside. I looked at her lovely face with its worried frown. I saw a beautiful woman, who loved me for what I am. I knew then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I never wanted to let her go. I saw in her eyes that she felt the same about me. How could I have doubted her yesterday morning? I had been so wrapped up in myself that I had just jumped to the wrong conclusions and nearly ruined everything.

‘Do you want me even though I’m an idiot, with no money and no job?’
‘Yes. I love you with all my heart and I need you and want you, so much. I was devastated yesterday, when you left without warning. I blamed myself totally as I thought that I had hurt you in some way and I didn’t know how to fix things. I emailed you several times and I tried to ring your mobile, but it was switched off. I didn’t know where you lived so I couldn’t come to you. I felt useless. And it was only Rachel that kept me sane. She somehow knew that you would come back. I should have listened to her. Anyway, you haven’t answered me. Will you marry me?’

It was no good; I couldn’t resist her, even if I wanted to.

‘Yes please.’

We were soon in each other’s arms and kissing deeply and passionately. It wasn’t long before we were in bed, cementing our already strong love for each other. Our lovemaking that night was wonderful, tender and sensual. We explored each other’s bodies and reached new heights of ecstasy.

Some hours later, after a joint shower that took longer than strictly necessary, we lay together and talked quietly of the future.

‘You know that it isn’t strictly marriage,’ said Michelle, with her head on my breast.

‘I know, but civil partnership is still nice and it’s a commitment. As far as I am concerned it’s marriage in all but name.’

‘Well I’m calling it marriage,’ said Michelle firmly, ‘when do you want to get married?’

‘As soon as possible. What do you think?’

‘Well, Sandra and Marion were in a hurry and they managed to put everything together and were able to tie the knot in fifteen days.’

I remembered Sandra and Marion from the chat room. They were nice people.
‘Sounds good to me.’ I said, ‘unless you want to wait for a while.’

‘No, I nearly lost you and if you are happy to go ahead as soon as possible then so am I.’

We kissed tenderly and didn’t say anything for a while, our mouths being too busy to talk.

After coming up for air we carried on discussing our future.

‘I want to work,’ I said, ‘but I don’t think care work is what I’m after.’

‘What would you really like to do if you had a chance?’

I hesitated.

‘Tell me, no secrets now we are engaged.’

I liked the sound of that–engaged!

‘Well, I loved my job as a computer systems designer and I think I was very good at it, but working for someone else means that they can sack me or do whatever they want and I have no control. I would like to start my own company and see how it goes. I know times are tough in IT at present, but there will always be a need for good work at affordable prices. Too many IT companies charge the earth for shoddy work and I want to give value for money. Only starting up a business isn’t easy and I don’t have any capital to speak of–just the money I have kept for the operation.’

‘Well money isn’t a concern now. I’m not poor; you may have noticed that this house isn’t exactly small. I own it and there’s no mortgage. I earn a lot of money doing what I do and you could say that any reasonable expense setting up a company wouldn’t break the bank.’

‘But it’s your money. I wouldn’t feel comfortable…’
‘Look honey, we’re getting married. What is mine is yours and what is yours is mine. I don’t believe in this pre-nuptial rubbish. It’s only money. If our relationship goes pear shaped, I can always make more. It won’t go wrong, I know it. It doesn’t mean we won’t have rows or get on each other’s tits occasionally, all marriages go through that but as long as we don’t go to sleep at night with an argument hanging over us, it will be okay. One thing though.’

‘What?’

‘If you agree, I want us to be equal partners in this marriage and we agree everything we do. None of this dominant/submissive stuff. If you don’t agree with what I say or want, just tell me and I’ll do the same with you.’

‘Okay, honey, if you say so.’

‘Don’t start!’ she said giggling as she started tickling me in a rather tender and embarrassing place!

Epilogue.

We had our civil partnership ceremony or marriage as we called it three weeks later. We both wore white wedding dresses and I think looked radiant. The ceremony took place at an old country house and the service was conducted by the vicar from the church that had the carol concert. Rachel walked us up the aisle as she decided that she was going to give us both away. We each had two bridesmaids Pat and Sharon and also Sandra and Marion who had been through all this before and had helped with the arrangements.

There were flowers everywhere and many friends from online and work colleagues from Michelle’s surgery were there. I even had a few people come from the care home that I had worked at…not my supervisor though. She had been fired because of her treatment of me and the fact that I had a big fat cheque coming for sexual harassment and wrongful dismissal was the icing on the wedding cake.

The service went off well and we both choked up a bit repeating our vows, but when we both lifted our veils and kissed each other on completion of the service, I knew that I had at last found happiness and the love of my life. Somehow, I could see into the future and knew with certainty that we would have a wonderful life together and live happily ever after.

FIN

Please leave comments...thanks

My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing and pulling the story into shape.