Hawaiian Retreat - 1
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and act as his girlfriend. Donnie, of course, says 'no,' but Mitch makes him an
offer he can't refuse.
I kind of rushed right into this new series. I truly hope that you like this!
Author's Note: Please let me know what you think of this story? I really do try to be creative and come up with new ideas all the time. ~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 1 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 1
"You are out of your freaking mind, Mitch!" I couldn't believe that he was serious about this.
"Donnie, you've pulled it off before! You can do it. I really need your help!"
"Ask someone else, Mitch! Ask my sister, Marie. We look enough alike. That will work."
"Well, maybe she'd look like you, but since you were so sociable at the Halloween party, and became friends with almost every female partner, secretary or spouse, you've become the subject of conversation ever since. 'When are you and Dawn coming for drinks? When are you and Dawn going to move in together? When are you going to propose to Dawn?' Christ, Donnie, my office manager took a picture of the two of us together and put it in a frame for me. It sits on a shelf in my office and everyone who comes in sees it. As far as everyone at the firm is concerned, you and I are a couple."
"Well, that's not exactly my fault, is it? I did you a favor then, but that's it. Tell them we broke up. Tell her I died in a freak skiing accident. I don't care."
Mitch put down his beer and stood, all six foot two of him, and he paced around the small living room of my small house. "Look, Donnie... I'm sorry, but I really need your help. The firm really prefers that associates be settled and married before they are considered for partnerships. I... you know how I am, Don... I've never had the guts to ask a girl out. I really screwed up, here. You were so great at Halloween that I just kept up the masquerade and I told people stories about how we were dating and... shit, Donnie... please. Please. Please. I need your help."
Let me back up - I was once a successful person. I was living with my high school sweetheart in a little house we'd bought together. I was making a decent living as a graphic artist and Nancy, my high school sweetheart, was an events manager at the biggest hotel in town. We were happy, I thought. Mitch had gone to school with Nancy and me and he was always around, too. He saw the clouds on the horizon long before I did.
See, I'd gained a lot of weight since high school and Nancy was getting more into health and fitness as our thirtieth birthdays approached. It was becoming an issue, shall we say.
Then, last April, just as Nancy was staring to lose interest in sex, the company I worked for was bought by a huge advertising firm and I became,
as the Brits say, redundant. I got a reasonable separation package, but that was the last straw for Nancy. One day I went to an interview and when I got home, she was all moved out.
Anyway, by October, I was still unemployed, although, I'd managed to lose a lot of weight through a very strict diet - I kind of ignored the exercise part for a while, which left me with some odd flabbiness on my chest and hips.
So, as Halloween approached, my twin sister, Marie, had an idea for a fun costume. We went to a friend's party as 'The Mystery Crew' from Scooby Doo with Mitch dressed as Fred, Marie's wife, Hilda, who is very tall and lanky, as Shaggy, Marie as Daphne and a big, stuffed, plush Scooby Doo, which, of course left me as Velma.
Hey, it was just a fun for one night and besides, I'd gone out as a girl on Halloween before. See, Marie and I have two older sisters as well, so
there were always plenty of girls costumes around and my mother, God rest her soul, was a single mother who never had an extra nickel to spare. I’m no dwarf or anything, I mean I’m just shy of five foot seven, which makes me a little shorter than all three of my sisters, so the costumes always fit.
The disconcerting part of the costume was how well I filled it out. The push-up bra and a couple of gel inserts gave me some very convincing breasts and the high waisted girdle that Marie provided gave me a twenty-six inch waist. Once I was shaved and in my lingerie, the whole thing came together with just a wig and some very clever makeup provided by Hilda, who is a hair and makeup artist for the burgeoning film industry here in New England.
Just some harmless fun, right?
Yeah, well, it was until a couple of partners from Mitch’s law firm showed up and my sister, who, like me, had had a few drinks, introduced me as Mitch’s girlfriend. Yeah, big joke, right? Well, I thought so and I played the part to the hilt. So well, in fact, that the two partners insisted that I attend the firm’s Halloween party the next night. I was just tipsy enough to say I’d see them there. Of course, that was the furthest thing from my mind, but I said it anyway.
The next morning, in the cold, sober light of day, I flat out refused to do it, of course, but Mitch was really upset.
‘I didn’t tell you to accept the invitation, Donnie,’ he said, more worried than I’d ever seen him. ‘You promised them, Donnie. You promised to be there. If you don’t go, I’ll look like a schmuck and I can’t afford that. This is my career, Donnie! This could set my career track back by years. You created this problem, come on!’
Marie, of course, thought the whole thing was hilarious and sided with Mitch.
Long story short, I was Velma once again that night. Mitch introduced me as his girlfriend ‘Dawn’ and, once I got a few drinks into me and I loosened up a bit, I really got into it, again. I was all smiles and chat and I really enjoyed the fact that I was putting one over on all these high powered lawyers and their trophy wives. Truth be told, I had a blast, but to be honest, a lot of the details about that night are still pretty fuzzy. I can handle a beer or two, no problem, but they were putting champagne flute after champagne flute into my hand all evening long. Apparently, I remained charming and funny all evening though and, come the next Monday morning, Mitch’s girlfriend Dawn was the talk of the office – and remained such, I guess.
Ok, back to that Thursday night in February in my living room.
"Look, Donnie, it’s six days in Hawaii in the middle of winter for a company retreat. Sunshine, warm weather, beautiful beaches and it wouldn’t cost you a cent!"
"No."
"I’ll give you my credit card. You can buy all the clothes and anything else you’ll need."
"No."
"I’ll pay for you to take a helicopter tour."
"No."
"I’ll pay your mortgage."
That brought me to a dead stop. I could barely afford the house when Nancy was living with me. Now... I was in arrears a few months. "My mortgage?"
Mitch nodded. "How far behind are you?"
"Two months right now, but... it’ll be three on the first of March."
"What’s your monthly payment?"
He was serious!? "Eleven hundred and eight five dollars."
"So, four thousand would get you ahead of the bank for a while?"
"Well, yeah, but..."
"I’ll give you eleven thousand, eight hundred and fifty to do this."
"What?"
Mitch shrugged, "That’s ten months of mortgage payments. That will get you ahead of the bank and give you some time to find a new job. Is it a deal?"
I sat forward on my sofa and thought about it. Geez, ten months. I could really use the money and the time. "Can I think about it?"
Mitch nodded and grabbed his jacket and said, "Ok. Let me know by noon tomorrow, though, ok? ‘Cause if you don’t do it, I need to figure out something else. We leave next Wednesday. I know that’s short notice. I was trying to come up with another idea, but everyone kept telling me how excited they were to get to know Dawn. I didn’t know what else to do." He stood awkwardly by the door before leaving and I couldn’t think of anything to say. Finally he said, "I really am sorry to put you in this position, Don, but... talk to you tomorrow."
I didn’t sleep a lot that night. I mean, who wouldn’t want to take a trip to Hawaii in the middle of a New England winter, but did I want to do it this way? I needed to sound out the pros and cons of this whole situation, so at seven thirty that morning I called my closest friend other than Mitch.
The phone rang a couple of times before Marie picked up. "Donnie!? What’s wrong?"
"Nothing, Marie. I just need to talk to you."
"Geez um crow, Donnie, what time is it?"
"Seven thirty. Were you asleep?"
"Of course I was asleep, Donnie. I worked second shift at the hospital last night. I’ve only been asleep four hours. This had better be important."
I explained the situation to which Marie replied, "So, do you want to do it?" She just took it all in stride.
"I don’t know, Rie. I mean, yeah, I want the money, but I don’t think I could pull it off."
"Why not, you did great at Halloween. From what I understand, you were the hit of the party!"
I scoffed at that. "Because everyone was drunk, Rie. Including me, by the way."
"Donnie, these retreats are nonstop drinking. You’ll be with the wives and girlfriends. You’ll start the day with bloody Mary’s and mimosas. By lunch, it’ll be champagne cocktails and drinks in pineapple rinds. By dinner it’ll be wine and scorpion bowls."
"So... what are you saying?"
"I’m saying that Mitch’s little scheme may buy you eight or ten months to find a new job and as long as it’s not too demeaning to your male ego, you could have a really fun week."
"As a girl."
"As a trophy girlfriend, Donnie. All expenses paid, a week of shopping and salon visits before you go, massages and facials in the spa at the resort, dinner and dancing in beautiful clothes every night... What more could a girl ask for?"
I was quiet for a moment when Marie asked me a question that gave me pause.
"Is Mitch gay?"
I stuttered when I answered. "Mitch? No. He’s straight. Why would you ask that?"
"Well," Marie considered that for a moment, "he’s, what, six two or three, he works out all the time, that blonde hair of his is to die for and he’s thirty one years old and never gone on a date. He bought a house right across the street from his parents, too. Sounds a bit gay to me."
I laughed, "Yeah, well, you’re a lesbian and neither you nor Hilda has ever played softball worn, or your hair like a marine. Of all the people to be spouting off stereotypes, I never figured it would be you."
Then, without a moment of hesitation she said, "Are you?"
I was so surprised by the question that could barely respond. I sputtered for at least ten seconds before words came out.
"I...wh...me...how... why would you... What are you talking about!? I was with Nancy since eighth grade!"
"And now you’re considering going half way around the world as another man’s date. I’m just asking. Don’t be offended. I’m gay and I’m very happy about it."
"And I’m very happy for you," I said sincerely. I guess she didn’t really mean anything by the question, but no one’s ever asked me that before.
"Ok, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m awake, now, so I’m coming over. Make me a nice omelet for breakfast, please. We’ll talk this through, you’ll let me take a look at what we have to work with – that means you’ll get naked so I can see how you look – then I want to hear from Mitch that he’s actually going to pay for everything he’s offering, especially your mortgage payments. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes."
When she arrived, we sat at the table and I nibbled my cheese omelet while Marie devoured her western omelet, and we looked at Mitch’s proposition from every angle. Marie made a list of what Mitch and I had to gain, collectively and individually, and what we each had to lose.
There was a lot we had to gain, but the ‘what we have to lose’ column was much scarier.
If I didn’t do it, Mitch could lose his job and I could lose my house.
If I did it, but didn’t do it well, then we’d end up with the same possibilities.
"So," Marie put down her pen, "you should do it and you should go all the way and be the prettiest, most personable little trophy girlfriend at the resort."
I held my head in my hands and considered what I might be taking on. "Rie, if I decide to do this, I’m going to need you and Hilda to support me. I can’t do it alone."
Marie laughed a huge burst of laughter. "Support you? Donnie, if you do this, you can’t do it halfway. You only have five days to get everything you need and learn how to pass as a woman. You don’t need my support, little sister, you need me to teach you how to walk, how to talk, how to do your makeup, how to eat, how to drink, how to go to the ladies room! Donnie, I’m going to be the puppet master and you’re going to be my Barbie doll. It’s all or nothing, stud. What do you say?"
I took a deep breath and thought about the whole thing. It was stupid, it was risky and it was potentially embarrassing, but – "Ok. I’ll do it."
"Really? Awesome!" Suddenly Marie was thrilled! "Let’s call Mitch and I’ll confirm everything with him, first. If he agrees to all of it, we’ll get started!"
We called and had a long chat on speaker phone. Mitch confirmed everything and said that he’d drop off a credit card that evening.
As the call was winding down, I said, "I think it would be best if you stayed away for a week or so, till I’m comfortable with this."
"Sure, sure," Mitch agreed, but Marie had different plans.
"No, no, no! Tomorrow night, you and Donnie are double dating with Hilda and me. Someplace nice."
"Tomorrow!?" I couldn’t believe she wanted to do something so quickly.
"Yes, tomorrow! If you don’t start now, you’ll never learn. Every second counts. You make your debut tomorrow night – end of story. And I think that the two of you should be going out together as much as possible between then and next Wednesday. That way you can work on being comfortable as a couple."
Alright, so that all made me pretty freaking nervous, but at least a decision had been made.
"Here," Marie said, pushing my phone towards me. "You make arrangements with your new boyfriend while I make a call on my phone. I’ll be right back."
I took the phone off of speaker and held it to my ear. "Hi, Mitch. Let me know what restaurant you get reservations for and what time you want to meet there, ok?"
"Yeah... ok. Why don’t we say we’ll go to Anthony’s for dinner and I think I should pick you up, ok? And... hey... Donnie... thanks, pal. I mean it. I know this is a big ask, but... you’re the best. Really."
Mitch wasn’t usually the most eloquent person at a dinner party, but that last sentence was pretty incoherent, even for him.
I didn’t know quite what to say at that moment, so I asked, "Are you sure you can afford this, Mitch. I mean, you’re offering me more than ten thousand dollars in mortgage payments as well as letting my sister loose with your credit card. That’s bound to run you more than another couple of grand. Maybe it would be better to just tell them the truth."
I heard Mitch sigh. "Don, I make around half a million dollars every year, give or take a few tens of thousands of dollars. My house is paid for, my car is a lease and I don’t travel unless I have to do it for work. I’ve been offering you help on your mortgage for months, but you wouldn’t take it. What do you owe on it? One fifty, two hundred thousand? If you want that much, it’s yours. But my job is everything to me. This is the only firm in the area that works on the kinds of cases I care about and I don’t want to lose it or be embarrassed by showing up alone after telling everyone that I was still dating that great girl named Dawn that everyone met at the Halloween party. I promise that after this retreat, I’ll tell them we broke up or something."
I smirked. "Ok, but make the break up your fault. I’m way too nice to be the villain in your fictional world."
He chuckled on the other end of the call. "Deal. Thanks, dude. I love you."
I laughed at the word ‘dude.’ He’d have to get used to something else to call me. "Love you too, pal."
Now, that ‘I love you’ stuff might seem a little sissy-ish out of context, but we’d been saying it to each other for like fifteen years. It started as a joke. Marie, Mitch and I used to always go to school together and Marie used to always kiss my cheek and say, ‘I love you,’ before we’d separate to go to our own classes. It was something that my mom always insisted on. Rie was always faithful about saying it, but it embarrassed me to have her say it to me, or to have to respond with the required ‘love you, too.’ It became such a big deal that Mitch picked up on Marie’s theme and started always saying, ‘I love you,’ whenever we’d go our separate ways. He though it was hilarious and Mitch is one of those guys who thinks that if something is funny the first time, then it’s going to be funny the ten billionth time, too. Then, it just sort of became a thing. More often than not, that’s how Mitch said goodbye. The previous night was actually kind of unusual when he left without saying it.
I was putting our breakfast dishes into the washer when Marie came back in and was grabbing her coat and purse in a big rush. "Come on. We have to get going right now."
I shook my head in confusion. "Where are we going?"
I called my hairdresser, Renee, and told her what you’re doing. She says that she doesn’t have any appointments until four thirty today, so if I can get you to the salon now, she can give you the works right now."
"The works?" I asked. That was an ominous phrase.
"Yeah," she wrapped a scarf around her neck. "The works. Waxing, eyebrows, mani/pedi, extensions... the works. Come on, let’s go."
I was confused, though. "I thought you were going to take my measurements."
"I will, Donnie. You’ll be naked there as well."
I nearly passed out at that statement.
"What?"
"Donnie, come on! We have to go!"
So, off I went, like a lamb to slaughter.
I didn’t know Renee, Marie’s hair dresser, which helped a bit, but the whole experience was something very alien to me. The smells, the colors, everything was entirely beyond my experience. From the moment we entered, I was completely confused and flustered by everything happening around me.
Renee said hello and pushed me right into the waxing area, a curtained off area in the back. The chairs in the salon were filled with women, mostly older women, probably due to the time of day, who didn’t really pay attention to me or Marie as Renee pushed us through the salon.
"So, are we waxing just the arms and legs or are we doing a bikini wax, too?" Renee was very businesslike, but the problem was that I didn’t understand the business. Before I could answer, Marie took charge.
"Let’s do everything just to be sure. He’s going to Hawaii as a trophy girlfriend, so being hairless will make it easier to wear high end clothes."
Renee nodded and said, "Sounds good. Why don’t you strip down and we’ll get started. His eyebrows are pretty bushy, too. Waxing will probably be best there, too."
Instinctively, I touched my brows as if you protect them, but Marie pushed my hands aside and began unbuttoning the flannel shirt I was wearing.
I started helping her and I pulled the shirt off revealing my rather unorthodox undershirt.
"What on earth is that?" Marie asked.
I just sighed. "It a compression shirt, ok. You know how flabby my chest is. This helps."
"Huh," Marie giggled. "I’m the lesbian, but my brother is the one binding his boobs down. Take it off for me."
As I pulled the tight fitting, spandex garment off, Marie undid my belt and dropped my jeans to the floor, leaving me in my plaid boxers.
"Holy shit," Marie muttered as I struggled to get the compression shirt past my head.
"What?" I asked.
"Donnie... have you seen a doctor about your boobs?"
I looked down and looked at my flabby chest. "Yeah. She told me to do some light barbell exercises to tighten up my back and shoulder muscles and that would, eventually, tighten up my pecs."
Renee stepped forward and touched my right breast. "These are pretty impressive for a guy, Don. I mean, just guessing, I think you might be a ‘B’ cup already."
I laughed because I was sure that they were teasing me. "Yeah, sure. The exercise have been helping, though. They were bigger and flabbier before."
"Yeah, they’re perky, now," Marie teased – well, I thought she was teasing. It turned out, she wasn’t. "Let me just take a few measurements so I can run out and grab you a few things. We’ll do some real shopping tomorrow once we have Mitch’s card, but you can’t get all girly here and then leave in jeans and a flannel shirt."
As Marie took the measurements, Renee asked Marie, certainly not me, "Are we doing extensions, then? A wig would be pretty hot and cumbersome in Hawaii."
"Yes," Katie asked as she entered my measurements into her phone. "How long can you make it with extensions?"
Renee ran her hands through my shaggy, but certainly not long, hair and sighed. "As long as you want up to about twenty six inches. That would bring his hair down to his waist, but if you want some volume, it’s going to take an awful lot of extension pieces."
"Do you you have enough to do it?" Marie was done with her measurements, but now seemed overly interested in my chest fat.
"Sure, but it’ll cost a lot and take a few hours to get it all woven in." Renee was looking at my hair without really looking at me in any way and she spoke as if I wasn’t even there.
Marie fiddled with her phone for a moment and brought up a picture of the actress Hailey Steinfeld who’s hair hung full and thickly down her back, all the way to her perfect rear end. "Something like this would look great on him."
Renee giggled at the picture. "I can do that, but your looking at a pretty big price tag for real human hair."
"Perfect!" Marie smiled. "Like I told you on the phone, though, I’ll have to come by and pay for all of this tomorrow when I have Donnie’s boyfriend’s credit card."
"No problem," Renee said, but I couldn’t just let that remark pass.
"Mitch is not my boyfriend..."
"Hush," my twin sister said without even looking at me. "Can you take care of him while I run out and do some shopping?"
"Of course," Renee smiled. "Take off your boxers and jump up on the table, Donnie. You’re not all that hairy. This shouldn’t hurt all that much."
Well, I dropped my boxers and laid down on the table. Renee covered my bottom half with a sheet and went to work, starting with my eyebrows. It was at that moment that I realized what a liar Renee actually was because it hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt like hell and it was all I could do to keep from shouting out in pain over the torture I was being put through!
After the eyebrows, the waxing of the sparse hair on my torso was a welcome relief. Even doing my arms wasn’t all that bad. My feet were a little sensitive, but by the time she’d gotten to the tearing out of hundreds of hairs and their follicles on my legs, I was pretty much numb to it all. That is until she got to... my bikini area.
"This is going to hurt a bit," Renee said, completely unreassured as I felt the warm wax and material being applied to my lower abdomen. "Try not to shout, though, please."
Well, that didn’t calm me much.
Then, before I could really think about it, she pulled the congealed wax covered material free of my skin taking a large strip of my pubic hair with it. My eyes shot wide open and my breath caught in my throat. Renee saw that. My eyes were watery and she smiled sympathetically. "It only hurts this badly the first time, Donnie. If you maintain it, waxing is actually a pretty pleasurable experience. You’ll see."
I shook my head. "Never again," I gasped.
"We’ll see," Renee smiled as she spread the warm wax on another part of my pubic hair. "Take a deep breath, now. We’re almost done."
A few dozen terrible pulls later and she said, "That’s almost all of it, I don’t think I’ll need to do a male Brazilian for you."
As she busied herself I asked, "What’s a male Brazilian?"
Renee looked at my frightened, limp penis and smiled. "Trust me, you’ll be happier if you never find out." She grabbed an electric trimmer and said, "Just let me trim this up a tiny bit." She turned it on and used the machine on my lower belly, just above my penis. It tickled a bit, but at least it didn’t hurt, so I relaxed for the few moments that it took.
When she put the trimmer down, she put on some rubber gloves and turned to face me, holding a large bottle of a pale pink, viscous substance.
"Oh, God," I whimpered, weakly, "now what?"
Renee smiled. "Relax. It’s skin cream. It’ll sooth your skin. You’ll like it."
And boy, did I ever like it! It felt like the fire on my skin was being put out. It was wonderful. It was also very fragrant, which is an odd thing for a guy. I mean, in the thirty one years I’d been on the earth, if I smelled my own scent, that was usually a really bad thing. Now, all of a sudden, I was being scented. I didn’t mention this to Renee because I knew that her response would be along the lines of ‘get used to it.’
"Feel better?" Renee asked as she finished.
"Much," I smiled as I was handed a dark blue nylon robe. As I put it on, though, I glanced down at denuded body and that’s when I noticed that there was still a patch of hair remaining, just above my penis.
I pointed this out to Renee, who handed me a hand mirror. "Take a look," she grinned.
I held the mirror down by my groin and saw a perfectly shaped little heart constructed from my shortened pubic hair. "Seriously?" I shook my head.
"It’s something cute and just a little naughty. Rich girls like that."
"I’m not a rich girl," I laughed.
"Not now, honey, but from what Marie was saying, you’re about to be. At least for a while."
I thought that was funny and I laughed a little, but Renee didn’t. "A lot of my clients are rich girls, Don. They’re the pretty sorority girls in colleges and they network their way into country clubs and social circles that help them snare handsome, rich husbands. They’re smart and they’re pretty and they are focused on nabbing the right man. All of them like to have a little, secret, slutty something to make their boyfriends crazy in the bedroom. Those little hearts are very popular. They stay hidden in their panties and their boyfriends know that they’re there. It drives them nuts."
I rolled my eyes at her. "Trust me, no one’s going to see this but you and me."
Renee stood tall and put her hand on my shoulder. "You say that now, Donnie, but you’re entering some pretty dangerous territory. I promise you, once I’m done with you, whoever this guy is, he’s going to be attracted to you, and these girls you’ll be spending time with... you’re thinking about them as flirty little airheads. They’re not. They’re sharks. They’re well educated, fearless, powerful beautiful sharks who will eat you alive and smile while they’re doing it. I can make you look perfect, but you need to be aware of what you’re getting into. That little heart is like a badge that you’re part of their club. Even if no one sees it, just knowing it’s there will help you fit in."
I took all that in and then nodded. "Ok, then. Thank you."
She winked at me, "You’re welcome, and when this is all over, I guarantee you that you’re going to come back in here and tell me how much your boyfriend loved that little heart."
"He’s my friend, Renee," I blushed and let out a laugh that sounded suspiciously like a giggle, "not my boyfriend and he’s never going to see that... badge."
"Ok," she placed a hand on my back and guided me toward the curtain that led to the salon, "let’s see if we can make you really pretty."
I felt very exposed as I walked through the salon in just the thin robe, but when I think about it, none of the other women paid much attention to me. I guess I was just feeling out of place. I did notice that the clock said it was twelve thirty already. That meant that I’d been in the waxing room for several hours. I was getting hungry and there was no sign of my sister. I mentioned that I hadn’t eaten much for breakfast, so Renee gave me a package of peanut butter crackers and a bottle of water as she prepared things. "I’ll give you a ten minute break."
I thanked her and began devouring the eight crackers in the pack. I was on the third cracker-sandwich when Marie suddenly appeared beside me. I was raising the cracker when Marie gently placed her hand on my moving arm. "You’re eating like an man, Donnie. Nibbles and sips. That’s how you need to eat. "
I nodded and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Nope.
Marie glanced at my legs and smiled. "Sexy! How does it feel?"
"A little chilly, to be honest," I chuckled.
"You’ll get used to it. I bet that you’ll want to stay clean and hairless even after this is over. Everything just feels nicer."
"Well..." I glanced around and no one was near us. " I’m not exactly hairless." I looked at my lap.
"Oh, no. She didn’t leave your bush, did she?"
I shook my head.
A smile drew itself across my sister’s face. "A landing strip?"
I shook my head again.
"Oh, my God, did she give you a little valentine?"
I blushed and nodded.
"Oh, yes! You have to show me!"
"Not now!" I held the hand that was attempting to pull my robe open.
Marie could not contain her excitement. "That’s so cool!"
"Ok," Renee interrupted, "if you really want to go for the twenty six inch extensions, and you want to do it today, then I only have a couple of choices. I don’t have enough medium brown like his natural hair, but I have a darker brown that’s very pretty, and I have this pretty, honey blonde. What do you think?"
She held a strand of the brown on the left side of my face and the blonde on my right and Marie scrutinized both.
"Oh, I like the blonde, don’t you?" My sister announced.
Thinking that she was asking me, I was about to offer an opinion which would have been that I’d have preferred the brown, but The question was actually directed at Renee, and she agreed with Marie.
Renee glanced at the clock and decided that she needed to get someone to help her if she was going to complete my transformation before her appointment. So, another girl was called over and instructed to wash and dye my hair the color of the honey blonde extensions while Renee prepared the human-hair-prosthetics.
My scalp was massaged and scrubbed and conditioned and colored and wrapped in plastic to setup, then my feet were submerged in a warm fluid to soak while a third girl began working on my fingernails. My cuticles were pushed and buffed and polished and then a smoothed and then a decision was made, by my sister, of course, that I should have the best artificial nails available applied and filed to approximately a half an inch longer than my fingers, nothing too crippling, and that they should be a dark, mature, neutral color. Obviously – obvious to everyone except me, of course – I would need to have them recolored before going to Hawaii.
Truth be told, I loved the feel of having my nails done. I was lighted headed as the girl worked my fingernails, but when she did my toenails, I was in heaven. If you’ve never had a pedicure, I highly recommend it! It was glorious!
When my hair was colored and Renee was confident that it matched the extensions, both hairdressers set about the arduous task creating the weavings required for attaching the extensions.
"We’re working together to get you through this, Donnie. This many extensions could take four hours or more and we just don’t have that kind of time. If we work together, maybe we’ll get you out of here in a couple of hours."
The feeling of having them both work on my hair was remarkably relaxing. It was as if they were massaging my head.
"No worries," I said. "It feels great."
I heard Rene snicker. "Close your eyes. There’s nothing you can do until we’re done. A lot of people just fall asleep and let us work. You can, too if you want."
"No, I don’t think so," I laughed. "I don’t think I can trust you all enough to not keep an eye on you."
Everyone was laughing at my joke and then, I was out like a light and I slept through the entirety of the rest of the procedure.
"Hey, Donnie," I could hear Marie speaking quietly, encouragingly. "Time to wake up. We have to get you dressed and get going. Come on."
I blinked myself awake and looked around me, a little confused. I snickered at myself. "I really fell asleep?" I shook my head twice, but stopped immediately because the copious amount of hair that now hung from my head swung into my view.
"Whoa..." I mumbled, touching it and marveling at how real and simultaneously unreal it all felt.
I looked to my left and saw Marie, smiling. I panned to the right and saw the hairdresser who had been helping Renee, then a blonde woman I’d not seen before, then Renee and everyone was smiling at me, except the blonde woman, who seemed a bit confused.
Then it dawned on my. There was a mirror right in front of me. The blonde woman wasn’t a woman at all. She was me. Or, my reflection at least. "Holy cow." I didn’t know what else to say.
"And that’s with just a little makeup," Renee smiled at my reaction.
"Hilda’s going to come up with some makeup plans for you after she sees your new coloring," Marie touched my hair and smiled. "Jesus, Donnie, you’re already adorable. This is actually going to work, you know. If you do the homework, you’ll be able to pull this off."
"I think you might be right," I muttered. I touched the hair near my face, pulling it behind my ears to get it out of the way.
"No, no, no," Marie scolded. "Your hair is beautiful and it’s going to be your best asset. NEVER tuck it behind your ears."
"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" I pulled my hair back, again. "How did I sleep through having my ears pierced?" When I fell asleep, my ears had no piercings. Now, each one had a small stone and a larger pearl in the ear lobes and another small stone just at the top of the ears.
Renee laughed. "It’s pretty painless. You didn’t even flinch."
I looked at the little pearls in my ears. There’s something about pearls that I have always loved on a woman. Necklaces, earrings and rings, it doesn’t matter. I love the look of them. Seeing them on me would have been disconcerting, I suppose, if I were actually able to process the fact that the woman with the glistening, blonde hair in the mirror was actually me, but I had not yet reached that level of intellect.
"So?" Marie looked into the mirror to see the look on my face. "What do you think? You’re quite the babe, aren’t you?"
Have you ever been the position of having something completely inappropriate happen to you and you can’t control it? Like being at a funeral and having to suddenly laugh? Or accidentally dropping an ‘F bomb’ in a business meeting? Well, that’s how I felt, all of a sudden. I didn’t want to do it and I wasn’t thinking about anything that should make me do it, but... maybe it was the feminine environment, or the number of beautiful women around me, or maybe it was the silky nylon robe that I was wearing, or maybe the fact that one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen was staring back at me from the mirror and she was checking me out in exactly the same way that I was checking her out... I don’t know why, but suddenly, parts of me were starting to stiffen up in a very unladylike way.
"I... I guess it’s a good start..." I sputtered, not really sure what I should say.
The women around me thought that was funny. "A very good start," Marie laughed. "Come on. We need to get you out back and get you dressed. We have to get going, pretty soon. We’re meeting Hilda for dinner, then I have to get to work."
Marie grabbed a couple of bags and her coat, while Renee pushed a rolling table she’d been using to the side and her assistant walked away and all the while, I just sat there growing harder and feeling more uncomfortable by the second.
Marie was moving towards the waxing area with her arms filled. She stopped and looked at me. "Coming?" She asked, impatiently.
I glanced around. "Quite possibly and maybe very soon," I said, flippantly.
Marie screwed up her face. "What are you talking about? Come on."
"I can’t." I used my eyes to indicate the situation.
Marie looked from my face to my groin several times before a smile played on her lips. "You’ve got to be kidding."
I shook my head.
She leaned forward. "First off, knees together, Princess. Someone might see your friend if your not careful."
I did my best, but it wasn’t easy.
"Now, get yourself under control." She hissed, sounding stern, but finding it amusing, none the less.
I took deep breaths, but I was still over stimulated. "It’s not working."
"Ok, think about baseball or something. I hear that helps."
"It’s doesn’t," I shook my head. "Just need a few minutes without thinking OR TALKING about it and I’ll be able to stand up."
"Ok." Marie leaned against the counter and waited about ten seconds before saying, "I’m cramping a lot today. My flow has been very heavy this month and I’m going through tampons like water. I ruined three pairs of panties just yesterday and I feel so bloated and moody. Just last night..."
"Alright!" I held up both hands to stop her. "You’ve done it. In fact, I may never get hard again."
When we got to the waxing area, Marie opened the bags and dug through them. The first items that she pulled out were a very pretty bra and panty set. Both were silky and lace-covered. She held them out to me.
"They’re mine?" I asked with my eyes wide.
"Yes. Put them on. We’re running late."
"Rie, when I dressed for Halloween, I wore a really plain bra and my own tighty-whities. I kind of thought that..."
"Well, you thought wrong and you agreed to do what I told you to do. Now, put them on."
"Alright, alright!" I turned and undid the belt of the robe I wore and I pulled the panties up my newly smooth legs. Truth be told, it felt amazing! The soft, smooth material felt cool and elegant against my skin.
"And tuck that thing between your legs, too," she scolded. "I bought you the last pair of slacks you’ll be wearing for a while, so we need to be sure that it looks right."
When I got the panties up, I stood straight and was nearly blinded by the amount of hair that fell onto my face. I used both hands to push it back, but I was corrected by Marie. "I asked Renee to do your hair with no part, so it just flows back from your face. Just use one hand, put your thumb on one side of your forehead and your pinkie on the other, then run your hand towards the back of your head and it will fall into place. You may need to lean back a little and shake your head gently to let it all fall free."
I did as I was told and it worked fine. So, I took off the robe and moved on to the bra. Before I put it on, though, Marie stopped me and inspected my chest. Now, my sisters are all smart and successful, but Marie, who is an X-ray technician, tends to think of herself as a doctor. She fingered the protruding fatty areas of my chest and made some ‘hmm’ noises. "When you talked to your doctor, did she suggest having your breasts removed surgically?"
I sighed. "No, Rie, she didn’t, and do you know why? Because they are not breasts, they are just problem fatty areas that I need to work on, AND, DOCTOR MARIE, because she knows nearly as well as my twin sister should that I am allergic to most forms of anesthetic, so the risk of being put to sleep for surgery is much higher for me than for most other people. So, for now, I will wear a compression shirt and work on the problem."
Marie shook her head. "I was just asking. But, for now, you’ll wear a well fitting bra and that will help with this little rash you have under your boobs."
"Rash."
"Yes. Your ‘fatty areas’ have ‘sweaty boob rash’ under them. That’s from wearing the compression shirt. Wear a nice bra for a few days and it’ll be gone. Turn around."
I did and Marie guided the bra up my arms and guided the hooks into the eyes in the back. Then she turned me to face her and adjusted my flesh in the cups and, I must admit, although I admit it reluctantly, I nearly filled out the bra. There was still some space in it, but not an awful lot.
"Yeah – those are just fatty areas. Definitely NOT boobs," Marie teased.
I was very embarrassed. "What size is this bra?"
"It’s a 32B, champ." She put her hands on the bra’s cups and squeezed. "You’ve got a nice handful there. Mitch is going to enjoy that."
"Very funny," I huffed. "Pants, please?"
"Ok, but first," Marie very quickly pulled the front of my panties down about four inches to reveal the heart shaped patch of short trimmed hair that Renee had left behind. "Oh! It’s adorable!"
I pulled away immediately, more than a bit shocked by Marie’s brazenness. "Hey! Knock it off. Come on, give me the pants!"
"They’re slacks, not pants, and they are pretty dressy slacks, too. They’re lined, so be careful putting them on. The zipper goes on the left."
It’s weird, but buttoning the slacks and pulling up the zipper, a chore that is very easy when the zipper is in the front, where a zipper belongs, is a very challenging job when the zipper is on your left hip. Marie eventually had to do it for me.
The slacks were more comfortable than any pants that I’d ever worn before, but they were a little long. Marie assured me that that was due to the fact that I had not put on my heels, yet.
I was a bit nervous about wearing heals – when I dressed up as Velma from Scooby-Doo, I wore some pretty clunky flats – but the chunky two inch heels that Marie provided that day were no more challenging to wear than cowboy boots.
The top was a maroon, tunic length sweater with a broad cable pattern that clung to my top and flared near my hips, disguising my lack of width there.
"That’s comfortable, right?" Marie asked taking in how I looked.
I pushed my hair out of my face for perhaps the eightieth time in the last three minutes and said that it was quite comfortable. I add that, if this was the kind of clothing I’d be wearing the whole time, I was fine with that.
Marie’s laugh indicated that I would not be wearing things like this for long.
All the way to the restaurant, Marie lectured me on hair and skin care, telling me what I’d need to do before bed – brushing my hair at least two hundred times, cleaning my face with makeup remover, using skin cream everywhere... it sounded like a three hour regime, but Marie promised me that it would take less than an hour tonight and that I would get faster within a few days.
When we arrived at the Indian restaurant that my sister ALWAYS picked for dinner, we entered and I was suddenly frighteningly aware of the fact that I was dressed as I was. I know that sounds weird, but back at the salon, I was more overwhelmed with fatigue and hunger to really think about it. I’d been there for nearly six hours by the time I left and in that time, no one had so much as looked twice at me. Now, as I stepped into the darkened restaurant, I caught sight of myself in a mirror in the lobby and my knees nearly gave out on me. What was I doing in a public place like this dressed like a woman?
I guess my concerns were put to rest when the hostess arrived and not only greeted us as ‘ladies,’ but also complimented my sweater as she guided us to a table where my gorgeous, Austrian sister-in-law, Hilda, sat waiting, already nursing a martini, her drink of choice.
She stood as we approached, gave each of us kisses on our cheeks and allowed Marie to enter the booth before she sat again. I sat opposite them and Hilda, who is easily six feet tall, very lanky in a way that most women would be self conscious about, but she turns into a sexy demeanor, looked me over, taking my hand in hers and smiling.
Before I move on, if you think that I might have ‘a thing’ for my sister-in-law, then you’re right, but it is just an infatuation – nothing I’d ever act on. She’s not just beautiful, she carries herself with a sense of confidence that I’ve never seen in another woman. I don’t feel anything sexual towards her, she’s just kind of like a superhero to me. I’m in awe of her the way I’d be in awe of Superman.
So, anyway, Hilda said, "Well, well, well, look at this beautiful lady." Her faint but still distinguishable accent making everything she said sound exotic. "I love the hair. So luxurious. Do you like it?"
Once again, I pushed my hair off of my face. "It’s taking some getting used to," I smiled. I’d lost track of how many times I’d performed that motion since waking up in the salon.
"Well, it’s very pretty, and you’re very pretty, too, Donnie."
Just then, Marie’s phone rang. She grabbed it said, "It’s Mitch." She took the call. Mitch was at my house earlier than we expected and wanted to drop off the credit card. She told him to come by the restaurant and text her from the parking lot. "I don’t want you seeing your new girlfriend until tomorrow night."
"He’ll be here in five minutes or so," Marie smiled. "Ok, so I have to work tonight, so Hilda is going to take you home and help you get ready for bed. Is it ok if she stays in your guest room for tonight? Tomorrow morning she’s going to do step by step makeup lessons with you. She’ll give you makeup plans for day time make up, evening makeup and special occasion makeup. By the time I get there, around noon, you’ll be an expert." Both of them laughed at that.
"With your new blonde hair," Hilda reached over and touched the hair that was draped over my shoulder, "you can have some very different looks for each part of the day or each event. This should all come pretty easily to you, Donnie, after all, you are an artist. Just think of your face as a canvas and it’ll be easy."
I rolled my eyes at this. "Different looks for different time of day? Do you guys do that?"
"Sometimes," Marie smiled, "but we’re not moving in the same circles that you’re going to be moving in. For trophy wives, makeup is part of the job."
I snickered. "In all the time I lived with Nancy, I never once saw her wear her makeup differently. It was the same every day."
"Well, to be fair," Marie shrugged, "you didn’t give her a lot of reasons to get all gussied up, did you? Hanging out on the couch or at some sports bar with you and Mitch aren’t exactly ‘events,’ now are they?" The look of derision on my sister’s face indicated a lack of enthusiasm for my life style.
Before I could defend myself, Marie’s phone chirped. "Mitch is outside. I’ll be right back."
Hilda stood and let her out and Marie disappeared through the restaurant.
"Look, Donnie," Hilda suddenly sounded very sympathetic, "I know this whole Nancy thing must be kind of tough for you. I’m sorry about that."
I was perplexed by that remark. Nancy and I had been apart for quite a while now and I’d been with Hilda at least a dozen times since the breakup. "I’m fine, Hildie. It’s been a long time since she left. I’m ok."
Hilda looked confused. "No, I mean..." she stopped and thought for a moment. "...umm... never mind."
Now, she really and my attention! "Wait... is Nancy ok? Did something happen to her?" Look, Nancy and I had broken up, but I still had strong feelings for her. I certainly didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. "Is she ok?"
Hilda deflated a bit. I could see that she’d opened up a door that she’d not meant to open. "No, she’s fine, Donnie, it’s just... well... last week, Rie and I were out shopping and we ran into Nancy and she... well, I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you, but... she’s engaged. She’s
marrying a guy named Craig in October."
"Oh..." You know how you feel like something is over but then, like completely out of the blue, you realize it’s not. I mean, I knew that Nancy and I were over, she’d made that very clear, and I understood that she wanted different things from her life than I wanted from mine. We’d parted mostly amicably and I knew that is was done, but there was some part of me that fantasized that I’d run into her one day and the we’d end up together again. So, even though it shouldn’t have, Hilda’s news slammed into me like a runaway truck.
I guess that the impact of the news was written on my face, because Hilda grabbed my hands and squeezed them affectionately. "Donnie... I’m sorry that I blurted it out like that. I thought you knew. Are you ok?"
I nodded. "Yeah... yeah... I’m fine. Sorry. I just didn’t think that... hey, you know what, that’s great! Good for her. I wish her the very best." I nodded, unconvincingly.
Marie came bounding back in, happy as a golden retriever, showing us Mitch’s credit card. "I told Mitch to be ready to call his bank and report that his credit card was about to be melted." She laughed as Hilda let her back into the bench. She looked at me and then at Hilda and asked, "What did I miss? Did someone kill a kitten or something?"
I shook my head and took a deep breath to keep myself from becoming emotional over something that I knew had been inevitable.
"I thought you’d told Donnie about Nancy and Craig." Hilda said, almost scolding her wife.
"Oh..." Marie looked at me with sadness. "I’m sorry, Donnie. I didn’t want to tell you on the phone and today was the first time I saw you since we ran into them. I guess I just got caught up in getting you ready. Sorry. Are you ok?"
I nodded and sniffled a little as I replied, "Yeah, yeah, I’m ok. His name is Craig? Does he seem like a nice guy?"
Marie shrugged. "I guess. He’s a good looking guy, I guess. Tall. Handsome in an athletic way. Seems pretty well off. He’s an accountant, he said. He seemed very pleasant."
I shook my head. "Good looking, tall, athletic, well off..." I muttered, feeling very sorry for myself. "Everything I couldn’t give her, I guess."
"Alright, stop it," Hilda said with uncharacteristic force. "You’re a great guy, Donnie, and you know it. Now, come on – no feeling sorry for yourself. Nancy was a big part of your life, but that part ended and now you’re moving on. You need to be a grownup about this. Be happy for Nancy and start a new path for Donnie."
I smiled at her lecture. She was right, but I still needed to process all of this,
"Look at it this way," Marie said, with a lot more optimism than I wanted to be exposed to at that moment, "for the next two weeks, Donnie is going to go away and Dawn is going to experience a whole new life. At the end of those two weeks, Dawn make way for Donnie to come back and start a brand new life. A life without the bank threatening to take away his house or excessive pressure to take a crappy job. It’s a chance to realign you chakra and start anew. You'll have months to find just the right job that will make you happy and you can get back out and meet new people. You’ll find someone, Donnie, I promise."
There was a lot of logic in this argument and you know what? Why the hell not take advantage of this trip? That was that. Right then and there I decided that I was going to make the most of every aspect of this experience. "You’re right," I said with a nod and a grin, "Donnie is gone for the next two weeks. Dawn is going to have a great time and she’s going to come back from Hawaii happy and refreshed. Then Donnie can start all over again!"
"That’s my girl!" My sister applauded. "Let’s get some dinner!"
As promised, Hilda drove me home and gave me strict lessons on the proper cleansing and moisturizing of the female body. She put my hair into several cloth hair ties, one at the back of the top of my head and several along the ponytail to keep it from being pulled as I slept. She also dug out a silk pillow slip that Nancy had left behind. She said that the silk slipcover was better for the extensions because there would be less friction.
I was allowed, mercifully, to sleep in my usual sweat pants and tee shirt, but I was required to wear my bra. When I asked why, I was told that it was important that my breasts get used to the shape of the bra. I thought that was a bit much, but Hilda insisted and I had agreed to do whatever they demanded in order to prepare for the masquerade.
Before I pulled my shirt on, Hilda took a look at my breasts in the bra. As I told you, she works as a makeup artist in the east coast movie industry and she’s very, very good at her job. I don’t just say that because she’s my sister-in-law, I say it because she can be gone for weeks at a time to do a movie in Atlanta, or Florida, or somewhere in the Mid-Atlantic states when she’s not working around here. Luckily, due to the popularity of Stephen King and other authors like him, there was plenty of shows and movies being filmed near our home in New England.
She poked at my flab a bit and thought for a few moments. "Have you ever heard of ‘InstaBreasts?’"
I blinked. "No. Should I have?"
Hilda was in work mode and thinking about what she could contribute. "I suppose not, but I have and I use it a lot. It’s a pretty simple procedure that involves injecting a saline solution into a woman’s breasts to make them look fuller temporarily."
"How temporarily?" This sounded dangerous to me.
"Well, the basic saline injection only lasts twenty four hours. Then the saline is ingested by the woman’s body and she pees it out, but..." I knew that she was about to make a suggestion that I’d have no option but to agree to, but it scared me none the less, "... a few years ago, they developed an upgrade that they call ‘Vacation Breasts’ and they last sixteen to twenty one days before they start to breakdown and get peed out. I think we should consider the ‘Vacation Breasts’ treatment for you, Donnie. It would be a lot safer than inserts in your bra that could shift or even fall out at inopportune moments."
I sighed. I wasn’t real proud of these flabby things hanging on my chest, but they definitely took on a different look once they were supported by a bra. "Would I have to go to a plastic surgeon or something to have this done?"
"No, I’m certified to administer the shots," Hilda said and it was obvious she was making mental notes as she scanned my anatomy. "Not only can I make it so that you fill out the bra more naturally, I can inject them in a pattern that will make them look more like a woman’s breasts and less like moobs."
I hated that term for a man’s boobs – moobs – but I’d heard it a lot.
"I use the procedure more frequently than you’d think," she plied my breasts and thought. "It takes less than a half hour and there’s no bruising or anything. Let’s do it in the morning."
Ok, so I had that to look forward to! I slept pretty well, once I got use to the hair, and I slept unusually late, waking up at eight thirty the next morning. I called out into the hallway and down the stairs to tell Hilda that I was awake, but I got no answer. She must have gone to get her tool kit.
After I performed my usual morning regime which, up till that day, consisted of relieving myself, shaving, brushing my hair just enough to have it lay correctly and brushing and flossing my teeth. Obviously, shaving wasn’t required that morning, and I thought I should wait until for Hilda to brush my hair. I did take it out of the cloth hair ties, though, and took a good long look at this hair and my un-made-up face. I looked... nice, I guess. I definitely looked like a woman, if a somewhat
plain woman, but I knew that Hilda would change that. I smiled and realized that I needed to relax and smile more broadly and more prettily, so I practiced that for a few minutes. Then I practiced laughing. I was getting better at this! Sure, I could do this! Why not?
Then, I practiced how I moved my hair from my face. Marie had been right, if I followed her instructions, I looked more feminine, so I practiced and practiced and practiced and I shook my hair and I smiled and I laughed and I giggled.
I was really getting into it!
Then I practiced my voice. When I was dressed as Velma, I noticed that if I just raised my voice’s pitch a teeny, tiny bit and spoke a bit more expressively than I did normally, I pulled off the deception just fine, so that’s what I tried – and it worked!
"Such a pleasure to meet you!" I said into the mirror. "My name is Dawn. Yes, I’m Mitch’s girlfriend. Oooohhh, that picture of your baby is so beautiful! She looks just like you! Mitch and I? Oh, we’re taking it slow. I don’t think we’re ready for marriage, just yet, but maybe someday..."
"Can I be a bridesmaid?" Came Hilda’s amused interruption from the door to my lavatory.
I sighed as I turned red. "I was just... practicing."
Hilda laughed and smiled. "I know. You were pretty cute, though. Come on. We’re starting with a makeup tutorial."
And we did. Hilda was right, my experience with fine art techniques did make the whole process more easy and I found that if I didn’t think about the face in the mirror as mine, I was able to draw lines and blend colors very easily. That did not apply to fake lashes, though. That was my biggest challenge of the morning, but eventually, I got the hang of it.
Hilda decided I needed three distinct looks – daytime, evening and special event. As I mastered each look, she took three pictures of my made up face – right, center and left – and sent the photos to my phone so I could use them as a guide when doing my makeup on my own.
As noon approached, Hilda suggested that I spend a little time brushing my hair with a much softer brush than I usually used. I went to work on my two hundred strokes and Hilda set about preparing the InstaBreast procedure.
When I’d finished and she was ready, Hilda had me sit in a reclining chair in my living room and spread a cream across my chest.
"This will numb your chest so you don’t feel the needles," she smiled down at me. "Your breasts aren’t as sensitive as a woman’s, of course, but the needles would still hurt without numbing the skin."
I admit, I was relieved.
When I was numb, she went to work and worked very quickly. She began on the out side of each breast and she sat back and compared them against each other to insure that they remained balanced. I had my Alexa smart speaker play some music so I’d have something to listen to. Hilda was so focused on what she was doing that she couldn’t hold a conversation.
As I laid back, I began to think about what the trip might be like. I loved flying, but this was a fourteen hour nonstop from Boston to Hawaii. That’s a long flight! If I was planning it, I probably would make it an overnight flight so I’d sleep through the bulk of it. I wonder if Mitch would plan things the same way, or if the whole company had to fly together.
Then it occurred to me - I’d never get through TSA security with my current license as my only ID. I was about to mention this to Hilda when my front door opened and Marie came bursting in with more shopping bags.
"Hi!" She called.
Hilda sat back with a smile and a sigh and she said, "You’re just in time. Come look."
Marie was still pulling off her heavy jacket as she entered the living room with a smile that turned into an amazed dropped jaw look. "Those are real?"
"As real as yours," Hilda smiled.
"Donnie! This is incredible! You’re a woman! Have you seen these?"
I shook my head as Hilda said, "I just finished. Pretty nice, though, huh?"
Marie shook her head. "Donnie, come see in the mirror." She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards my hall closet. Immediately, I noticed the extra weight and movement of what had been my slightly flabby chest, but now had become my very full breasts.
When she opened the closet door and I saw myself in the full length mirror, I gasped. "Oh, my..." there was a woman looking back at me. A woman with long, luxurious, blonde hair, an impeccably made up face and... boobs. Nicely formed, perky, fleshy, firm, yet yielding... boobs.
"This is awesome!" Marie was bouncing with excitement. "Wait till Mitch sees this! He’s going to flip out!"
"Stop!" I said a bit too loudly. "Mitch is NEVER going to see these things undressed, understood?"
"No," my sister smiled and swayed her shoulders as she spoke in a singsong voice, "but he’ll see them in your bras, and he’ll see them in your blouses, and he’ll see them in your swimsuits, and he’ll see them in your dresses, and most importantly, he’ll see them in your nightie. You are going to be Mitch’s wet dream for the next ten years, little sister. I guarantee it! Come on, we have an appointment with a stylist at Kaminsky’s."
She pulled me back into the living room and pulled items from her bags. She pulled out another pair of panties cover in elaborate lace.
"Oh, wait," Hilda said. "Let me show you how to tape yourself before you put on your panties."
"Tape!?" I was not familiar with this concept and didn’t love the idea of putting tape on my most sensitive part.
"Don’t worry," Hilda smirked. "Your penis will be wrapped in gauze. Here, stand on the second step so I can do this for you."
Well, let me tell you, until you’ve had the sensation of having your balls pushed back up inside of you, you can never understand the feeling. It wasn’t painful, but certainly not pleasant. As Hilda worked, she assured me that I would get used to this procedure and by the time I left for Hawaii it would be as easy as putting on my shoes, but I kind of doubted that she was telling the truth.
She showed me how to wrap the gauze around my shaft and then tape it down in the space where my legs meet using medial tape. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but once the panties were in place, it was fine. Of course, this whole process also involved a great deal of conversation about the heart that had been shaped from my pubic hair just above my penis. With no sign of a male organ there, it was pretty cute. I mean, if I was about to have sex with a woman and I saw a little heart of cropped hair sitting just above her vagina, it would have turned me on, but now that I was taped, getting turned on didn’t seem possible. It was tight enough to discourage those kinds of thoughts.
So, the matching bra was a little tight. Marie suggested that Hilda may have over done them a little, but since we were going to see a stylist, a bra fitting was part of the service.
Eventually, we said good by to Hilda who went home until she was to join us later for dinner with Mitch, and my twin sister and I headed to Kaminsky’s – a very high end women’s clothing store about fifteen miles from my home. For the consultation, Marie dressed me in a very pretty, but plain, denim dress with long sleeves and a knee length skirt. Nothing special as far as I could see, but Marie explained that this was the only dress that she owned that came from Kaminsky’s and that the dress cost a lot more than I suspected. "It’s important that we make a good impression," she said, emphatically.
Let me tell you a little something about my sister’s personality. She is seventeen minutes older than me and she has always acted as if those seventeen minutes gave her decades of wisdom beyond my own. I don’t mean that as an insult, just a tease, but it is true. She is a sweetheart, but she will take over any situation with our hesitation. Type A personality all the way – Maybe even a type A plus personality.
Our older sisters, Claudia and Angela are fourteen years older than us, so it was like there were two families. First my parents raised Claudia and Angela, who are also twins, then, just as they became a bit more independent, they had Marie and me to deal with. Both of them live within an hour of our homes, but we only see them every now and then. Usually at Christmas or a funeral. To give you an idea of how close we are, the last time I went to a family funeral, I saw Angie and asked how her husband was doing, only to be told that they’d been divorced for nearly year.
Other than Mitch, though, Marie has always been my closest friend, Hilda too, I guess, but Marie has always teased me that she wished I’d been a girl so that she had a little sister. I am slightly shorter than her, so she’s got that much to tease me about and, truth be told, we did share a lot of clothing growing up. Polo shirts, tees shirts, anything unisex was in a communal closet in the hallway – that meant that almost all of my shirts were, at some point, worn by Marie. That was fine until Marie started wearing perfume. I would sometimes grab a shirt and head out the door, jump into Mitch’s car and be halfway to school before we’d notice that I smelled like lavender or orchards or bubblegum.
Anyway, she was really into this whole little sister fantasy now that she had an opportunity to act on it in the real world.
We met my stylist, Randall – and he was a ‘Randall’ definitely not a ‘Randy’ – and, as Marie predicted, we began with measurements including a bra fitting. Randall measured me and hemmed and hawed and finally asked, "Are we looking for a new wardrobe or just a few new accent pieces?"
In brief, Marie explained that I had just started dating a new guy who was very successful and that I had a whole series of social events, both formal and casual, coming up, and that I was being taken to Hawaii to support my new beau at a work retreat. So, I would need at least a week’s worth of clothing for the cold of New England and then resort clothes for the trip – including clothes for tropical breakfasts and lunches, semi formal dinners and three formal events.
You could almost see Randall salivating over the commission. "That is a very pricey amount of clothing, ladies," he hissed, "are you sure that you can afford Kaminsky’s style for such a big order?"
Frankly, I was intimidated by this guy’s aloofness, but not Marie. She handed him Mitch’s card and suggested that he not only run the card to check the credit limit, but call Mitch at his office to be sure that he was authorizing the purchases. She jotted down Mitch’s cell number on a scrap of paper and handed it to him.
Randall excused himself for a moment while I stood in my denim dress and fretted and Marie pulled out dress after dress and made sounds of longing. "Promise me that after you get back I can borrow some of the clothes you buy here," she said, feeling the soft materials.
"You can have them all," I smirked.
"We’ll see," Marie smiled. "We’ll see."
When Randall returned, he was not only gracious, he was downright sycophantic. He treated Marie like an heiress, but he continued to speak ‘about’ me rather than ‘to’ me.
"I imagine that you’ve heard that she has a rather boyish body before, right? Well, the best way to deal with her broad shoulders is to show them off and celebrate them and the best way to deal with her lack of hips is to use a waist cincher – nothing too uncomfortable, but something to give her a little more shape. So, where do you want to start?"
Because the afternoon was already waning, Marie suggested that Randall find something in which I would look breathtaking for that night, and then, if we liked his choice, we’d come back the next day and he could lay out all kinds of selections for me.
With that in mind, Randall went to work. Within a few minutes, he had me in a very comfortable and beautiful new bra with a very tight waist cincher wrapped around my midsection showing Marie how well it created curves where none existed before. I might have had something to say about this item of clothing if I could have breathed. It was not at all comfortable, but both Randall and Marie assured me that this was not for daytime wear, so I would only have to use it with evening wear and only if that clung to my form. Just a few hours a night – but, of course, I was wearing it tonight, so I might as keep wearing it all day just to get used to it. Wonderful, right?
Randall called in some minions and began displaying dresses. Marie was in heaven, I was so overwhelmed and uncomfortable that I just stood, wide eyed and mum.
Since that evening’s dinner was not exactly a formal event, the restaurant that Mitch had chosen was the kind of place that people in his income bracket frequented on the weekends – I’m not sure that Mitch had actually been there before, if so, I had not gone with him – regardless, the unofficial dress code was ‘nice clothing,’ not formal.
Randall and company laid out a series of black dresses, stating that the classic black dress was always fashionable, but Marie was looking for something more striking than just a little black dress.
And she found it.
It was black, but it was also striking. It was made from a stretchy material that hugged my shape sexily. The scoop neckline revealed a lovely display of my new found cleavage, with straps just wide enough to cover my bra straps going over my shoulders. The shoulders were bared in a ‘cold shoulder’ design with lace sleeves that hung loosely down my arms to my wrists, with the lace revealing my pale skin beneath. The tight, stretchy skirt ended a few inches above my knees with the same lace that was featured on the sleeves used as a decoration on the bottom hem.
I stood in my bare feet and looked at myself in the mirror and I wished that I could date someone as beautiful as I was.
"She’ll need some very sheer, natural hose to wear under those," Randall said to Marie, as he fussed with every aspect of the dress I was wearing. "I’d recommend elastic tops rather than pantyhose, and, of course, she needs some very, very sexy heels."
Within a few minutes, I was wearing three inch, spiky heeled, closed toed, but mostly opened everywhere else, shoes and, as promised, they were very, very sexy.
When I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t believe how absolutely luscious I actually looked, although my legs still looked pale without the sheer, elastic top stockings that Marie had chosen for me. I looked at how the dress fit me, how the shoes extended my legs, back and enhanced my buttocks, how my very long blonde hair stood out against the black dress and I was amazed. I turned to the side and looked at how my, now fully ‘B’ cup, beasts were enhanced by the clinging of the dress, how it hugged my bottom, which, yeah, could have been a bit bigger, but still looked tight and sexy, and then I turned and looked at myself from the other side, too. I was flawlessly female. No one would ever suspect I was not! Not only would this work, I had almost nothing to worry about, as long as I behaved correctly.
"Well, Princess," Marie whispered into my ear as Randall processed Mitch’s MasterCard payment, "you are something to behold. I just hope that Mitch is prepared for what’s coming his way tonight." When I just kept staring, she asked, "What do you think?"
"I... I can’t believe it, Rie. I look so... good. I’m not really sure what to think." It was true, too. I truly, did not know what to think of how I looked. ‘Babe’ was the only word that came to mind.
Marie kissed my cheek. "You’re as hot as any woman I’ve ever met, Donnie. I just hope that Mitch’s pants don’t split wide open when he sees you."
That remark actually made me very uncomfortable. Mitch and I were best buds. We’d done everything together growing up and as adults. "You’re kidding, right?"
Marie smiled, amused by my trepidation. "Of course I am, but you’d better be careful when you’re alone with him. He may forget that you’re his friend."
I considered that for a moment, but it was just too disconcerting to ponder, so I just laughed. "Yeah, I don’t think that Mitch is going to forget that."
Marie confirmed with Randall that we’d be back the next day to approve and assemble an entire wardrobe, then she chose a new matching bra and panty set in black and said that it was time to go. I changed back into my denim dress, which felt very plain and blah, now, and my lower, more practical shoes and we left.
"That was fun, wasn’t it?" Marie bubbled as she drove.
"I don’t know if ‘fun’ is the right word, but I did enjoy parts of it."
She checked the clock on the dashboard display. "It’s five thirty. Hilda is bringing my clothes to your place and I’ll get ready there with you, ok? Mitch is coming at seven. Are you excited?"
"Scared," I replied.
"Scared!? What do you have to be scared of? You look amazing!"
"I know, and I’m really getting into it, Rie, and that’s why I’m scared. I think I might like it too much."
Marie took my hand. "Don’t be silly, Donnie. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Relax and enjoy every soft, sexy feeling. It’s two weeks of beauty and luxury like most men never get to enjoy - but you do, Donnie, because you’re special. Just remember that. Whether you’re my little brother or my little sister, you’re special."
"Which do you prefer? I asked her.
"Huh?" She replied as she watched the road.
"Which do you prefer? Your little brother or your little sister?"
She thought for a moment, then said, "No matter which one you are, Donnie, I love you to the moon and back."
"Thanks," I said with a smile.
Then, after a moment of silence, Marie giggled and said, "But my little sister is a lot more fun to take shopping."
When we arrived back at my house, Hilda was already inside. She looked amazing in black, satin, high waisted pants, a white silk blouse with lace ruffles around the neck and down the front. Her sleeves bloused out and in long, relaxed waves until being wrangled back in by long, lace covered cuffs. Her height and her slender figure made the outfit look amazing, especially with the slender, four inch heels she wore.
"You girls look like you’ve had a productive day," Hilda said in her Austrian accent.
Marie kissed her wife’s cheek and smiled. "We have and we had fun, too. Tomorrow, we have to go back and get Donnie’s full wardrobe. He was a really good sport today, though. He tried on a bunch of dresses and looked beautiful in each one. Wait till you see what he’s wearing tonight! It’s beautiful."
Hilda looked at the clock on my wall and smiled. "Ok, but right now, the clock is ticking. Mitch will be here in forty five minutes. Upstairs! Go
on. Donnie - you’re wearing your ‘evening’ makeup plan tonight. Not your formal one."
I called back, "Am I wearing false eye lashes?" She’d given me that particular makeup plan with the option of natural or artificial lashes.
"I think that would be nice." Hilda called back as Marie and I entered my bedroom.
"Get into your black undies and do your makeup before you put on your dress," Marie instructed as she slipped off her jeans and pulled her blouse over her head.
"Are you getting changed right here, with me?" I asked, a bit astounded by she relaxed attitude.
"Donnie," she giggled, "currently, you have bigger boobs than me and your penis is hidden because my wife taped it away – while I watched, I might add. I’m just changing my bra and pulling on a dress. Neither of us has anything that the other hasn’t seen, so take a breath, relax and act like my sister, instead of my brother."
"Ok," I shrugged and began changing.
While I was in the process of putting on my new undies, I heard Marie giggle. I looked at her with a questioning look and she said, "I just think that your little, pubic hair heart is so adorable. What a shame Mitch won’t see it."
I rolled my eyes, finished dressing and went into my lavatory where all the makeup Hilda had provided me was still waiting. I looked at the photos on my phone and used them as a guide to paint on the appropriate colors and accent lines. Marie came in while I was carefully applying the false eyelashes.
"Wow," she smiled, "you’re really good at that! Could you help me with my makeup, too?"
I was strangely complimented by that. I used what rudimentary makeup information I had and the skills I had as an artist and I delicately layered color and lines on my sister. When I was finished, she looked in the mirror and smiled. "You really ARE good at this."
Suddenly, there were voices down stairs. One was a man. "Shit," I muttered, with my stomach suddenly filled with butterflies, "he’s early."
"Girls," Hilda called up, "Mitch is here and he’s waiting to take us to dinner."
"Just a moment!" Marie called down as she grabbed my dress and held it open for me to step into. "Moment of truth," she smiled.
The walk down the twelve stairs from my second floor to my first was the longest walk of my life. The butterflies had moved from my stomach to my chest and then on up to my head, and my knees were actually weak and shaking. When we reached the first floor, Mitch had his back to us, talking to Hilda. "I believe your date is here," she said to him as she indicated that Marie and I were behind him.
My stomach sank to my knees when he turned and the smile on his face dissolved into a slack jawed look of astonishment. The room was filled with uncomfortable silence and I was about to give up on the whole scheme and run back to my room when Mitch finally said, "Holy shit, Donnie..." I stood frozen, ready to run away. "...how did you... what happened... your breasts... Umm.... You look... I mean..." he took a deep breath and let it out, "... you’re... beautiful!"
Author's Addendum: InstaBreasts and ‘3 Week Vacation Breasts’ are real! https: //www.medicaldaily.com/boob-job-test-drive-vacation-breasts-of... -spend-3-weeks-larger-breasts-310274 ~Clara.
To Be Continued...
Hawaiian Retreat - 2
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Hawaii as his girlfriend. Lots to learn and lots to buy, then the process of
getting comfortable pretending to be a real women out in the real world.
I kind of rushed right into this new series. I truly hope that you like this!
Author's Note: Thank you so much for your support for the first chapter! I really appreciate it!
Please let me know how you feel about this one, too! ~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 2 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 2
The walk down the twelve stairs from my second floor to my first was the longest walk of my life. The butterflies had moved from my stomach to my chest and then on up to my head, and my knees were actually weak and shaking. When we reached the first floor, Mitch had his back to us, talking to Hilda. "I believe your date is here," she said to him as she indicated that Marie and I were behind him.
My stomach sank to my knees when he turned and the smile on his face dissolved into a slack jawed look of astonishment. The room was filled with uncomfortable silence and I was about to give up on the whole scheme and run back to my room when Mitch finally said, "Holy shit, Donnie..." I stood frozen, ready to run away. "...how did you... what happened... your breasts... Umm.... You look... I mean..." he took a deep breath and let it out, "... you're... beautiful!"
I was so relieved, I almost cried! "Really?" I asked without really having any reason to doubt what he'd said. "You're happy with how I look?"
"Happy!?" As I've told you before, Mitch isn't the most eloquent speaker, and now he was having a hard time thinking, let alone speaking. "Dude... you... you're... I mean... I don't even understand how... I mean... dude! I'm thrilled with how you look! The hair! The dress! Your makeup! Your tits! Donnie, you have actual tits! They look so real!"
I was completely overwhelmed by Mitch's approval of my appearance, which should have been a warning to me that I sinking too far into my role as his girlfriend. Heck, I'd never once looked for Nancy's approval of how I looked in all the time we were a couple.
"Alright, alright, alright." Marie took my hand and led me to Mitch, almost as if I were a gift to him. "Tits? Really, Mitch? You know better than that."
"Oh, yeah, of course," Mitch sputtered. "Sorry, but dude..."
"And that's the last 'dude' I will hear from you until you both get back from Hawaii. Is that clear?" Marie was speaking as if she was a second grade teacher scolding a student.
Mitch responded in kind, "Yes. You're right. What do I call him... her... then?"
"How about 'Dawn?'" Hilda suggested. "It's a beautiful name, isn't it? And it's how your coworkers know her."
Mitch smiled at me. "Dawn. Yeah, it's a beautiful name." He continued to smile stupidly at me as I did the same back at him. Then he snapped his fingers, "Damn! I was going to pick up flowers, but then I thought it would be a stupid thing to do. I should have gotten them, though. I'm sorry."
This time I did realize that I was not thinking straight, though, when I realized how disappointed I was that I was not getting flowers. Instead of showing it, though, I waved a weak wrist and giggled. "Don't be silly. I don't need flowers."
He shook his head and smiled broadly. "Dawn... I just can't get over how great you look!"
"You look pretty good yourself," I replied. I rarely saw Mitch in a suit. Typically, if he still had on work clothes, he was down to rolled up sleeves, unbuttoned collar and a loosened tie. I doubted that this was a suit he typically wore to the office, though. It was well tailored and shiny and had a very nice matching vest. He really did look like a Brooks' Brothers advertisement.
"Look at that," Hilda pointed out, "their hair is the same color. They match, perfectly. What a handsome couple."
I glanced at Mitch, then at my own hair and realized she was correct. For some bizarre reason, that made me giggle a little and blush.
I don't think I can properly explain how strange I felt standing there with my sister and sister-in-law watching us and Mitch smiling down on me. My insides were flipping and churning with the strangest sense of happiness I'd every felt. It was as if I'd pleased Mitch and that made everything right with the world and I can not, not for the life of me, explain why I felt that way.
"Ok." Marie finally picked up a black leather coat she was loaning me and began helping me to put it on. "There is one big thing we need to do before we leave here."
Neither Mitch nor I knew what she meant.
"Kiss her," my sister said quite matter of factly.
Both of our heads snapped in her direction. "What?" We said in perfect unison.
Marie shook her head. "Look, love birds, you're going to have to kiss each other at the resort."
"Why?" I asked. This was an aspect I had not considered.
Marie and Hilda looked at each other and shook their heads. Hilda put one hand on each of our shoulders and smiled. "Look, when I was a teenager, I worked at a very posh ski resort in Sarajevo and we hosted corporate events all the time. When the wives and girlfriends came along for the retreats, I watched and saw how everyone behaved. The couples would come down to breakfast together and sit in small groups. When the corporate masters called the men away, they'd all stand, then bend down and kiss their wives goodbye. When they came to dinner, if the men stood up for any reason - to get a drink from the bar, to go to the rest room, or cross the room and talk to a colleague, whatever - they bent over and kissed their wives. At formal events, the same thing. Anytime they separated, they kissed each other goodbye."
"Why?" I asked. It seemed overly involved to me. Nancy and I were always pretty independent in social situations.
"It's a sign of ownership, I think," Marie offered. "It's a way for the male of the species to 'mark' his mate so the other males stay away."
We both stared at them, prolonging the inevitable as long as possible.
"Oh, for crying out loud," my sister was getting impatient, "just put your homophobic silliness away and do it."
We both nodded, dumbly, and looked at each other. "Ready?" Mitch asked and I nodded. So, he leaned over an planted a tiny peck of a kiss on my left cheek.
"Are you serious?" Marie asked, sounding a bit disgusted. "Donnie, who is your best friend in the world?"
"Mitch," I said.
"Do you trust him?"
"Of course." I knew where she was headed, but I didn't want her to arrive at her destination.
She asked Mitch the same questions and got the predictable answers.
"Do either of you suffer from halitosis?" Marie was getting snotty, now.
"Of course not," I replied.
"Then, for crying out loud, just kiss each other." Marie had reached the end of her patience.
"Trust me," Hilda said, in a sweet, quiet voice, "we will not judge you."
Both Mitch and I took a deep breath and stared at each other. Mitch gave me an apologetic and resigned smile, then he put his hands on my shoulders, leaned forward and gently plated a kiss on my lips. It only lasted a second or two, and it was awkward and unsettling.
When it was over, we both looked at Marie and Hilda for approval.
"Well..." Marie shook her head, "...it's a start. Donnie, next time close your eyes and lean your head back so that Mitch doesn't have to work so hard and Mitch, don't be so tentative. We could stay here practicing this for the next three hours, but our reservation is in twenty minutes, so we need to get our butts in gear. Next time, though, I want to see some improvement."
I looked at Mitch who still had that apologetic look on his face and I shrugged. "Sorry," I whispered. "I'll do better next time."
"Me too," he nodded. "Let's go."
Marie and Hilda went in Hilda's Land Rover while I rode with Mitch in his Lexus. That is, I rode with Mitch AFTER I received a tutorial about getting in and out of a low automobile in a tight dress and then rehearsing those actions about a half dozen times. Even though the satellite radio was playing the latest Taylor Swift offering - Mitch has always loved TS - the first minute or so of the drive was uncomfortably quiet.
Finally, Mitch cleared his throat and said, "You really do look amazing, Dawn. I can't believe how different you look. In a good way, I mean. Like, better."
I snickered at that. "Better?"
"Ok, I can see that I'm digging a hole here, so I'm just going to stop digging." More silence, then, "Does it feel... different?"
I thought about that for a second. "Yes and no. I mean...they took off all of my body hair - well... almost all, so everything feels a little different, and the clothes are a lot... not just softer, but... nicer, so that all feels different. Everything smells different because of the makeup and Rie sprayed some perfume on me and then there's all this hair that I have to deal with constantly... so, yeah, a lot feels different, but..."
When I didn't continue, Mitch prodded. "But what."
"Well... I was going to say that I still felt like me, but... I really don't. I do feel different... very different. Like... smaller, in a way, even though my shoes make me taller. Vulnerable, I guess - and not just in the 'a dress makes you vulnerable' kind of way, but... when Rie says anything critical, it really hits me hard and when you... oh, Jesus, let's not go there."
Mitch sounded concerned. "What? Wait... did I say something that upset you?"
"No, no," I insisted, "but..." Ok, I knew that what I was going to say was going to sound really weird, but I needed to be honest with Mitch if we were going to pull this off. "Look, you know I'm only doing this to help you out, right? So, maybe that had something to do with it, but... Nancy and I lived together for almost ten years and if, in all that time, she ever said that I looked nice, I just said 'thanks' and moved on, but... just now, when I came down the stairs and you... you said I looked..." I took a breath to strengthen my resolve. "...you said I looked..." the word stuck in my mouth, "...beautiful... I don't know why, but at that moment, hearing you say that was the most important thing in the world to me. So... thanks... for saying it, I mean." I felt like such an idiot for having been so honest about it, but I think I needed to tell him.
The Taylor Swift song ended and before another could start, Mitch shut off the radio. I just stared forward into the dark, winter night. Anthony's Restaurant was just ahead. I could see the sign. Maybe, I could relax and just shut up with Marie and Hilda with me to keep the conversation going.
Then something occurred to me. "I realized that I'm going to need an ID to get through airport security. I don't know if that's even possible, so maybe this isn't going to work, any way."
As I was finishing up that sentence, Mitch suddenly turned his Lexus into the parking lot of a CVS Drug Store that was located next to Anthony's. I was about to say that the restaurant was the next driveway, but I could tell by the way that Mitch slammed the car into park that he already knew that. I'd upset him. I knew that I'd upset him and I felt bad about it. Shit, what do you do when you answer a question honestly and it upsets someone you care about.
"Look, Mitch..." I started to say, but he stopped me by twisting his body as much as he could so that he could look at me and he took my hand in his.
"I'll take care of getting you an ID. I've already figured out how to do that. I just need to take a picture of you before I leave you, tonight, but... Donnie... um... Dawn... When I asked you to do this... I guess I never expected that you'd have to... go this far, I guess. I was kind of expecting that you'd wear a wig and, you know, put on a dress, or something. I never expected..." He took a huge breath and grunted it back out. "... I never expected that you'd BECOME a woman, but... You did and... it's amazing... and you really are one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on. So, look... I know this is weird for you, but you have to realize that it's pretty weird for me, too. I can't thank you enough and I can't wait to show you off when we get to Hawaii. So, I appreciate how honest you were with me about how you feel and I want you to keep being honest with me, the whole time we're doing this, ok?"
"Ok." I smiled, very relieved.
"So, let me be very honest with you, ok? I am so, so amazed that I have a friend who would go so far to help me. I really am. This... this means everything to me, Donnie. Everything. I will never, NEVER be able to repay you or thank you enough for doing this for me." He took a breath and calmed down before continuing. "So, anyway... you said that when I said you were beautiful, that was important to you. Well, let me just say that you being this beautiful for me is the greatest thing anyone has ever done for me and if all it takes for me to make you happy is to say that you're beautiful, then I will say it a million times a day." He took my hand in his and looked at my manicured, painted nails. "Donnie, you are the most beautiful person, male or female, I have ever known." Then he shocked me by kissing my hand. "Your hair is beautiful." He kissed it again. "Your eyes are beautiful." He kissed it again. "Your body is beautiful." He kissed it again. By now, I was actually lighted headed by the romance of the moment. "Your breasts are beautiful." He kissed my hand once again, but this time the kiss lingered and it made me shiver.
Who the heck was this guy? Not my shy friend Mitch, certainly. This was a very confident, very warm person and his lips were warm and soft on my hand and those lips were making me melt.
Then he looked at me and said, "And more beautiful than all the rest of you are your lips." I smiled and felt weak. "We don't have an audience, now. Let's see if we can do this right."
As he leaned towards me, I wanted to snap him out of it. I wanted to laugh the whole thing off. I wanted to say something glib to defuse this whole ludicrous situation.
But I didn't.
I tilted my head back, leaned towards him, closed my eyes and felt his soft, warm lips touch mine. I felt myself quiver and melt when his arm worked it's way around my shoulders and pulled me closer. I felt tingles at my core that I'd never felt before. I felt a warm rush of submission course through me as I succumbed to his strength, his aroma, his heat.
I don't know how long the kiss lasted. It could have been ten seconds, it could have been an hour, but when Mitch ended the kiss and pulled back from me, I felt different. I felt small. I felt incomplete. I felt needy. I needed Mitch to be with me. My heart was beating so fast that I thought I might pass out and I could feel a warmth on my face that told me that Mitch could see my neediness, too. Maybe he didn't know that his kiss had changed me, but he knew that it had changed our relationship. There's no way that he couldn't know that.
"I think we did it." Mitch smiled down at me. "That was a pretty good kiss, wasn't it?"
"Mitch..." I searched for what I wanted to say. "I... I...I... I don't know... I mean..." I was nearly breathless as I sputtered and tried to form a coherent thought. "That was... wonderful, but... I'm not... I mean, we're friends and... but..."
"Relax," Mitch said, patting my long, blonde hair. "It was just a kiss. I'm not going to have sex with you or anything."
Oh, my God! Had he just said that!?
"Mitch..." I was still in shock - possibly in awe of Mitch's kiss. "I'm not... gay, Mitch. I mean... I'm still a guy in here."
He smiled and even laughed a little. Maybe the laughter was just nerves, or maybe he thought my overreaction was funny, or cute, I don't know, but it did help to lessen the tension I was feeling. "I know, Dawn. I'm not gay, either. I just... well, like Marie said, if we're going to pull this off, we're going to have to be comfortable with things like kissing, so... let's just make the most of it and enjoy it. Ok?" Then, as he put the car in reverse to pull out the parking space, he sang. MY FRIEND MITCH ACTUALLY SANG, "You must remember this. A kiss is just a kiss. A sigh is just a sigh..."
A few moments later, a valet at Anthony's Restaurant was opening my door for me and offering me a hand. Remembering Marie's tutorials, I swiveled to my right and placed my feet on the ground before allowing myself to be assisted to my feet. The long, black leather coat that I was wearing fell around my stockinged legs as I stood and waited for Mitch to come around to my side of the car. He came up on my left side, placed a strong hand on my lower back and we walked that way into the lobby where Hilda and Marie were waiting.
"Did you get lost?" Marie asked, with a smirk on her face.
"We had some... things to talk about." Mitch nodded. "Sorry if we made you wait."
The hostess showed us to our table and Mitch helped all three of us with our chairs.
"Well, aren't you the chivalrous one." Marie teased as we opened our menus and looked at the selections. We all ohhed and ahhed at the descriptions of the food, but all the while, I could feel Hilda looking at me.
When I glanced to my right to see what she was looking at, she sat back a little and announced, "Excuse me for a few moments, please. I need to use the ladies' room. Dawn, would you come with me, please?"
A bit surprised, I said, "Me? I... don't need..."
"Dawn," my sister in law sounded more insistent, "would you please accompany me to the ladies' room?"
I glanced around the table. Mitch was still buried in the menu and Marie just gave me a nod to indicate I should go. So I did. I stood to leave, but Hilda stopped me and whispered, "Kiss Mitch goodbye."
"Oh." I nodded and turned, bent and kissed Mitch on the cheek. "I'll be right back."
Mitch was a little surprised by my kiss and said, "Oh, ok. I'll be right here."
I followed Hilda through the restaurant and into the ladies' room. Wow, was it different than any men's room I'd ever been in. There were actually two rooms. The first containing three, small, elaborately brocaded couches, and a counter with a well lit mirror. That room opened to another room with toilet stalls and sinks.
Hilda walked to the mirrored counter and opened her purse. She patted the seat next to her and I sat there. As I waited to find out what was happening, Hilda retrieved a couple of items from her purse, placed them on the counter, then handed me a tissue and said, "Go ahead. Use it."
I just looked at it, confused. "Use it for what? Is my nose running?"
Hilda huffed, then checked that we were alone, before snatching the tissue from my hand and aggressively removing the lipstick from my lips.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
She looked disappointed as she said, "What happened. Did you two stop to make out on the way here?"
"No," I said honestly.
"Then why is your lipstick smeared?" she scolded.
"Oh..." I think I may have looked contrite, but I also may have looked guilty. I don't know. "We had to talk through a few things and we thought it might be easier if we tried a real kiss without you guys watching us. So... he kissed me."
"It must have been a heck of a kiss to have messed up your lips that much. Here, this is your lip color. Reapply it so it looks right. I have some sealer here, too. That will help maintain it a little better, too."
I thanked her and looked into the mirror and recolored my lips.
While I was busy, Hilda crossed her legs and watched me. "Is this really just a plutonic thing between you and Mitchell? Because I think I saw some sparks flying when he first saw you as a woman."
I stopped, holding the lipstick an inch or so from my lips. "I don't know. I think that it's just plutonic, but... I don't know."
Hilda looked at my face in the mirror and nodded. "Did you know I was married once before I met your sister?"
"No!" This really shocked me. I thought I knew everything about my sister in law.
"I was, and I was happy, for the most part. He was a nice man. Successful. He owned several dry cleaning shops in Brookline. He treated me well and we got along just fine."
"You were married to a man?" I never considered that Hilda had ever been attracted to a man. "What happened?"
"One night I went to a party with my husband and Marie was there with her boyfriend, Rick. We got to talking and, well, I felt an attraction to Marie and, it turned out, she felt the same about me. As time went on, that attraction turned into love and here we are."
I finished my lips and applied the sealer. "What happened to your husband?"
Hilda looked a bit sad. "My husband... he understood and we parted ways. I loved him, Donnie, but... Marie ignited a feeling in me I'd never felt before."
I finished with the sealer and closed up the case. I looked at Hilda in the mirror. "So, you think I'm gay?"
She smiled. "I think you're human. That's all. Maybe you are feeling something for Mitch. That's what I'm saying."
I shook my head. "I think it's the clothes messing with us. I don't think I'm gay."
Hilda shrugged. "Neither did I, but my advice is, if you find love, don't ruin it with labels."
I nodded at her, but deep down, I knew that I wasn't gay. I just needed to get a handle on my emotions. It was the clothes. Definitely the clothes.
"Now, about this role that your playing," Hilda was now speaking as a theatrical professional, "you need to remember that you are a trophy partner, not a mistress. You do not make out in a car in a CVS parking lot - yes, I saw you as we passed. Your body is your tool. It needs to look perfect at all times. Your makeup will always be perfect, your hair will always be beautiful and you will be the perfect decoration for Mitch at this retreat. No more slutty behavior, ok?"
I smiled. 'Slutty behavior.' Since when was a kiss in a car 'slutty behavior,' but I definitely got the message. "I'm an accoutrement, not a mistress. Got it."
"I know that sounds terrible, but it's true," Hilda smiled.
We returned to the table where Marie and Mitch were in an animated conversation. I kissed Mitch's cheek again as I sat, and then Marie brought us up to speed. "I was just telling Mitch that he'll need to contact the airline and pay for all of your luggage."
"How much do you plan on taking?" Mitch asked. "I paid for one stowed and one carry on. Isn't that enough?"
"Probably," I posited. "I only own one suitcase and a carry on."
"Oh, my God, you two are impossible," Marie shook her head. "Mitch, you want her to look her best, right? Well that involves a lot of clothing options. That means luggage. Donnie, we are going to Kaminsky's tomorrow to pick up an entirely new wardrobe for you. These are expensive, high end items. You can't just cram them into some cut rate cases. After we go to Kaminsky's, we'll go to a reputable luggage store and get everything you need. They need to be designer cases, too."
Finally, Mitch held up his hands. "Ok, now wait a minute. Luggage is luggage. I got some nice American Tourister pieces at JC Penny's the other day..."
"If I could interrupt," Hilda said quietly. "Luggage, like every other aspect of a trophy's appearance, is a sign of her societal aspirations. If a woman shows up with American Tourister luggage, then she is looking to have a good, solid, middle class life. If she shows up up Vuitton, or Dior or Gucci luggage, then that girl is going to do whatever she can to support a husband who can provide her with the best lifestyle available. These names will not go unnoticed by the wives of the partners. Which message do you want to send?"
"Ok," Mitch surrender, then he looked at me. "You'd better use that luggage a lot."
"Or loan it to your sister," Marie suggested.
"May I take your drink orders," the waiter asked.
Hilda ordered a whiskey sour, Marie a moscato, Mitch ordered a bottle of Sam Adams beer and when I said I'd have the same, Marie snapped, "No you certainly will not! She will have an appletini, thank you." That was just the start of how my decisions would be made for me that night. I wanted the filet mignon, but I got the grilled Caesar salad. I wanted the German Chocolate Cake, but I had to share one scoop of gelato with my sister and her wife. Don't get me wrong, it was a great meal, just not what I would typically order. Marie made it clear that I needed to think about meals like that until we got home from Hawaii. Oh, well, I knew that I could still have a good time, even if I was relegated to eating rabbit food.
We said goodbye to Hilda and Marie in the parking lot and Mitch drove me home. After a couple of drinks, I was much more relaxed. I mentioned before that beer never really bothered me, but that liquor hits me really hard. Well, two appletinis had me very relaxed and Mitch knew it. See, Mitch knew my history. See, I partied a lot when we, Mitch, Nancy, Marie and I, were all at Umass getting our degrees. If there was just beer at the party, I was fine, but if there was liquor, I tended to blackout - and by that I don't mean I passed out, I mean my consciousness shut down, but my body kept right on partying and the next day, I couldn't remember a thing about the night before. Mitch was the one who figured out that I couldn't handle my liquor. Since then, I've been a two-beer-maximum guy with just the occasional mixed drink.
When we got to my house, Mitch came in with me to take a picture for my new ID. He had me stand in front of a beige wall and snapped a pic on his phone, but before I'd let him do that, I slipped my heels off. Walking around with only the thin layer of stockings covering my feet was a very sensuous feeling. Mitch seemed to like the way I looked, too.
"Look," he smiled as he looked at me and that smile made me feel nice, "I know you and Marie have a lot to do tomorrow, but maybe tomorrow night we could grab dinner again, or something. Maybe something more casual than tonight. Maybe we could just talk about the trip and stuff."
I waffled for a minute before saying, "I should probably ask Rie if I can. She may have me scheduled for something or another."
He smiled more broadly. "Yeah, I get it. Boys have all the freedom in the world, but girls have to be kept on a short leash, right?"
I chuckled. "No, but my sister is a world class control freak, you know that, and, if I'm being very honest, I'm scared of her, so..."
Mitch laughed. "If I'm being honest, I am too." We stood awkwardly and stared at each other for a solid minute or more before Mitch asked, "Can I kiss you goodnight?"
"Well," I sighed, "the answer is 'yes,' but according to Hilda, YOU need to be more gentle when you kiss me. Last time, you smudged my lipstick."
"I'll be gentle. I promise." He laughed as he came closer.
As I've mentioned, Mitch is six foot two inches tall and I'm five foot six. Eight inches has never seemed like a big gap to me before, but it was, that night. He put one arm around my shoulders, and the other around my lower back and pulled me in to him tightly. He gave me a sweet, soft, gentle kiss the made my toes curl.
"You know what?" He whispered, "I've already broken a promise to you?"
"You have?" I blinked at him.
"Yep," he kissed my forehead. "I promised that I'd tell you that you're beautiful a million times and I've probably only done it a few hundred thousand times. So, let me tell you once more that you're beautiful, then give you one last kiss good night."
"Sounds good," I smiled. Why did I like the feel of being held like this?
Mitch put his forehead on mine so our eyes were just inches apart. "You are beautiful," he said quietly.
I said, "Thank you," but I couldn't get anything more out because he kissed me on the lips and hugged me tightly.
When the kiss ended, he pulled his head back, but the hug continued. I was feeling very unsteady at this point, and I needed to gain back some control over my emotions. "I think you'd better go so we can both figure out what we're feeling. Ok?"
"Ok," he let me go. "You're right. It's been a very surprising night. We should calm down and talk tomorrow." He stepped back and put his hands on his narrow hips as he took one last look at me. "Donnie," he said, "you're beautiful and..." he winked as he said his customary goodbye phrase, "... I love you."
An hour later, my organ was untapped, my hair was brushed and in several cloth hair ties, my makeup had been removed, my skin had been moisturized and I was climbing into bed in my ugly, male pajamas which I had come to hate, and I was crawling into bed, desperately trying to get a handle on what had happened to me that night.
Did I love Mitch? Yes, of course I loved him, but as a friend, right?
Did I like it when he kissed me? Yes, of course I did, but maybe that was just the loneliness of not being with anyone since Nancy.
Did I want to have sex with him? See, that was the problem. No. The thought of another man's penis did nothing for me. Did I want to caress it? No. Absolutely no. Did I want to do down on him and take it into my mouth? No. Absolutely no - like, a big time, capital letters NO! Did I want his penis to enter me? No. Absolutely, no. In fact, I couldn't even conceive of it.
So, where did that leave me? I loved Mitch - as a friend and.... I loved the way I felt with Mitch. I loved how he smelled, how he kissed, how he touched me, how he made me feel protected, but... I could never be with him. So, once again, where did that leave me? The same place I'd been since Nancy left - Sad and alone in a cold, empty bed. Great. Now life wasn't just unfair and painful, it was confusing as hell, too. That was like the icing on the cake for my pity party. So I did the only thing I knew how to do. For this first time since my mother's death, I cried. I cried for over an hour and eventually, I cried myself to sleep.
I slept through the night and was awakened by my twin sister flopping herself onto my bed. "Wake up, sleeping beauty, we've got a big day ahead of us."
I cracked my eyelids open and asked, "What time is it?"
"Eight forty five. Come on." She sat up, took my hand and pulled me to the seating position.
I groaned as I moved. "I'm going to have to take your key away. It's too early."
Marie laughed. "Ugh, we're going to have to get you some nighties. You can't sleep in these rags any more." She was laughing at her own teasing, but then she stopped and looked at my face. "Hey. Have you been crying?"
I touched my cheek. "Oh... yeah... a little... last night."
She looked very serious. "Really? Why?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. It was a long and confusing day and I was a little drunk... I guess it just all hit me when I was alone."
She touched my cheek. "I'm sorry. This must be an awful lot for you, huh?" I nodded. Marie looked at me and asked, "You and Mitch didn't... you know... did you?"
I shook my head. "No. I could never go that far. He just kissed me goodnight and went home." Ok, it was the truth, but it was only part of the truth. I couldn't face my feelings alone, I certainly couldn't share them with Marie when I couldn't even access them myself.
"Tell you what," she smiled, "let's get you dressed and I'll buy you Dunkies for breakfast."
For those of you who don't live in New England, Dunkin' Donuts, or 'Dunks,' or 'Dunkies,' is the most important institution ever established on the face of the earth. Why, because they sell good coffee. Not that bitter garbage that Starbucks sells for three times the price, but just good coffee. They also sell fairly tasteless doughnuts and pretty good breakfast sandwiches. Marie's suggestion sounded very good to me. A good cup of coffee and a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich on a flakey, buttery croissant would hit the spot. Of course, because Marie felt that a croissant sandwich was too fattening for a trophy girlfriend to be eating, she ordered me a a breakfast wrap - a tasteless egg, processed cheese and one slice of bacon on a piece of paper thin wrapbread. A sandwich designed to be eaten by women on their way to aerobics classes. Oh, well, it got me through the morning.
When we arrived at Kaminsky's, Randall was smiling and waiting with rack after rack of clothing options. He guided us towards the clothing he'd chosen for me to wear in the cold weather of New England for the next four days before my flight. He did make it clear that he didn't much care for the skirt and top that Marie had loaned me to wear that day. It was a very comfortable brown, woolen skirt with black tights and loose, red sweater. It was plain, but comfortable and Randal gave it a subtle scowl and suggest that I get out of 'that' and into some 'nice clothes' as quickly as possible.
Since my four days in the cold were not really the focus of our outing, Marie picked out six lovely ensembles in a heartbeat. I tried them on right there in large 'VIP Shoppers Room' with Randall leaving and returning after I was dressed, and she liked them, so those outfits were put aside for purchase. I was particularly fond of one outfit that Marie didn't care for. I tried it on anyway and mentioned to Rie that Mitch had asked me out to dinner again that evening and that this out fit, a tartan skirt with a cashmere sweater would be nice to wear for that. Marie agreed and thought that a casual date with Mitch was a great idea. So, I text him to tell him that I could go to dinner with him.
Then came the arduous, yet strangely titillating process of choosing my resort clothing.
For day wear, Randall had chosen a general style of sleeveless, silk tops that would fit loosely and offer a cool feeling in the Hawaiian sunshine, coupled with a series of skirts that all seemed to fit similarly. Marie liked the concept and pointed out that the blousy tops would allow me to look pretty and shapely without wearing the waist cincher during the day.
After nearly two hours of trying on clothing items and having them scrutinized by Randall and Marie, my day clothes for the resort were chosen and I thought that way too much was being purchased, but my opinion was laughed at by Marie and ignored by Randall. The majority of the purchases adhered to Randall's blouse and skirt plan, but I was allowed two sun dresses that I rather liked - They weren't included because I liked them, though, but rather because Marie thought they looked sexy on me and she thought Mitch might think so, too.
Next came the evening outfits, so on went my waist cincher. I can't say that I liked the evening wear as much as the day wear. It wasn't nearly as comfortable, but it was pretty and, I have to admit, it made me look lovely as well. Marie chose seven dresses, one for each night and one for just in case.
Then came the formal wear. Two actual gowns! I couldn't believe that formal meant THAT formal! I must have tried on thirty different gowns before Marie chose two and, thank heavens, those two were far and away the most comfortable.
By now, it was well past lunch and that little nibble I'd had for breakfast wasn't keeping me filled up. I may have been becoming a little testy at that point, I don't know, but I was definitely annoying my sister.
"Randall," she said as if she'd used a personal stylist everyday of her life, "I'm going to take Dawn to lunch. When we get back, I'll need to see the corresponding lingerie for each of these outfits, some shoe selections and some swim wear. We should be back in an hour or so. Thank you."
Now, if I were Randall and I'd just invested the amount of time I'd invested in a bossy woman and her submissive little sister, I think I may have been at the end of my rope, but he sucked it up and nearly kissed our feet as we left.
Lunch was a tuna salad at a little place across the street. Nothing to get excited about.
"You're doing great, Donnie," Marie complimented when I expressed how tired I was getting. "Let's get some protein into you and you'll be fine. Just hang in there. Only another couple of hours to go."
Did you hear that? A couple more hours, she said! I could not for the life of me understand how women could do this! Typically, I either ran into a store and grabbed a pair of jeans, or just ordered them from Amazon. Suddenly, shopping had become hard work!
So, we returned to Kaminsky's and found that Randall had laid out each of my new outfits with the appropriate lingerie laid neatly beside each one. I took a few minutes to take a picture of each outfit and it's corresponding lingerie so that I'd not make a mistake when I was dressing at the resort.
Now, when we were kids, both Marie and Nancy worked in a department store not to far from our house. I remember a conversation that occurred one spring night in which they both discussed how many girls and women were reduced to tears when it was time to buy a new swimsuit. Every year, when I ran into Walmart and bought a new pair of board shorts without even trying them on, I thought about that conversation, but I never understood how difficult it was for a woman to buy a new swimsuit until that cold winter day at Kaminsky's.
There were one piece and two piece suits laid out on the table. I tried to lead them to the one piece suits, so that's where we started. There were three. All were aqua, but had different patterns. Randall stepped out of the room and Marie instructed me to try on the suits with my panties still on, which certainly gave me a little piece of mind.
Those of you who are not women have more than likely never worn a woman's one piece swimsuit, but I have to say - they are really comfortable! The stretchy material was actually exhilarating and the built in cups did wonders for my breasts! I felt like a model and I was very happy to buy that first suit and call it a day.
THEN
Randall and Marie began to scrutinize the suit, the fit and, most painfully, my body. My butt was too small for the suit, the legs were cut too high and with my little tush, it made me look like a boy, the top showed too much breast, the straps didn't compliment my shoulders - on and on and on through all of the one piece and seven of the two piece suits until, finally, it was decided that a high waisted two piece didn't make me look too hideous. Once that decision was made, Marie asked for two more of that style in different colors. If I'd had any delusions of being exceptionally beautiful when I was eating lunch, those delusions were shatter after trying on bathing suits.
Then I had to try on several different coverup's to wear around the pool and on the beach. Three were chosen, one to go with each of the swimsuits.
Then we tried on shoes. And then shoes. And then more shoes, until finally six pairs were chosen for the trip and three for the cold weather.
It was then approaching four thirty and I wanted, more than anything, to get out of that store. Luckily, we were done. Randall sent a minion to get together a complete tally of the vast harvest of clothing that was being put into bags and store labeled garment bags for us. As we waited, Randall recommended a high end luggage store about a mile away from Kaminsky's for our suitcase needs.
And then Randall was handed the final invoice for every thing. He perused it for a moment, then handed it to Marie. She looked at it for a moment, pulled out Mitch's credit card and handed it to Randall, but on the way past me, I caught a glimpse of the tally and nearly fainted.
Once Randall had stepped away to process the card, I spoke to my sister in a quiet, but agitated voice. "Marie, that bill is for seventy two hundred dollars! We can't spend that much. We have to put some of it back!"
Marie gave me a very condescending smile. "Donnie, I talked to Mitch last night while you and Hilda were in the ladies' room and told him how much this was going to cost. He didn't even flinch. He said I could spend up to twenty thousand if I needed to, so, in a way, this is a bargain for him."
I couldn't believe it. "But I'll probably only wear this stuff one time."
Randall came back and handed Marie the receipt and credit card and Marie led a parade of employees out to her car to load the clothes in.
"I know that you're in a rush to be with Mitch," Marie teased as we pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main drag, "but we need to stop at the luggage store. Why don't you call Mitch and tell him to pick you up at seven."
I was putting my phone away as we arrived at the luggage store. Long story short - I actually took a stand this time. Marie was bound and determined to buy a complete set of Louis Vuitton luggage for me at more than three thousand dollars a bag, but I put my foot down. That was an absurd amount of money to spend on luggage, even if it wasn't my own money that we were spending. Instead, we bought a complete, eight piece set of luggage plus three matching garment bags made by a company called Tumi that the saleswoman assured us was prestigious enough to impress Mitch's colleagues and their wives. That little purchase ran us just under two thousand dollars - an absurd amount for luggage, but substantially less than even one of the Vuitton bags. We agreed to pick up the luggage Monday evening so that the store could embroider my initials onto the luggage.
We were home just after six and spent a good ten minutes hauling everything up to my guest room.
"Ok," Marie clapped her hands, "let's get this all sorted..."
I couldn't... I just couldn't do this right at that moment. I had been dealing with these clothes all day, I was hungry and I wanted to go out to dinner with Mitch. "Rie, please, I have to get ready to go to dinner. Everything is folded neatly or laid flat in the garment bags. I'll hang everything up first thing in the morning." I was practically begging her to let me go on my date with Mitch.
She smiled and patted my cheek. "Ok, Princess, we'll take care of it tomorrow. Go do your makeup and I'll just hang up the garment bags."
"Thanks," I breathed a sigh of relief. "Can you grab that plaid skirt and black sweater for me?" I ran into my lavatory, pulled off the top and skirt I was wearing and quickly adapted my day makeup to nighttime. I opted not to wear false eye lashes that night.
When I rushed back into my guest bedroom, Marie had a new pair of silky, black panties held open, waiting for me. "Do I really need to change my underwear?" I asked, in a rush to get dressed.
Marie shook her head in frustration, a gesture I'd become quite used to at this point. "First, it's lingerie, not underwear, and second, yes, you have to remember, this is your job and part of that job involves being clean and fresh at all times. That will be a little easier for you than for a woman who has to worry about feminine issues in her panties, but you still need to get used to the regime. Every change of clothes is a change from the skin out."
"Fine," I muttered as I lowered my panties and stepped into the fresh pair. Marie undid my bra and helped me with the new one. Truth be told, this lingerie was amazingly soft and comfortable, so, even though I made a little fuss about changing, the softness was a very thrilling feeling. With my manhood taped securely between my legs, I could not achieve and erection, but those feminine little butterflies I had felt the previous night were waking up again.
Then I stepped into the skirt. I'd describe it as a midi-length, A-line tartan plaid with moderately sized squares of dark and light grey, and lines of a really pretty shade of green running between the squares, but when I say it was an A-line though, that does not really describe it. The shape was A-line, but while the front of the skirt was a smooth, flat piece of material from the waist to the hem, the sides and the back of the skirt fell in loose folds of extra material. It was so wonderfully luxurious and beautiful that it actually gave me shivers.
Then, I pulled on the black, turtle-neck, cashmere sweater and it was so soft that I almost couldn't feel it touching my skin. I pulled my hair through the turtle-neck and smiled at the wonderful feelings of the soft fabric and at the way my blonde hair looked in contrast to the black of the sweater.
"Here," Marie handed me a package of sheer, black, elastic top stockings. "Put these on. It's cold out tonight. You'll need them."
I sat on the bed and rolled the stockings up my legs, further enhancing the exotic feelings. Then, before I stood, I slipped my feet into a pair of pointed toe, two inch pumps that fit the style of the skirt perfectly.
When I looked in the mirror again, I was thrilled with the look. I was comfortable, the shape of my breasts was beautifully displayed, but I didn't need to feel self conscious about my cleavage, the skirt hung beautifully and the shoes felt great.
"Very pretty," Marie smiled, "in a 'good girl next door' kind of way."
"Well, I like it," I beamed. "If I were a woman, this how I'd dress everyday." The words had barely left my mouth when I realized how it was going to sound to my sister.
"Well, I have news for you, Princess..." she started to tease, but I stopped her.
"Yeah, yeah. I didn't mean it that way."
Marie stood beside me and looked at our reflection. "Donnie... when you get back from Hawaii... are you going back to being a boy?"
I snickered at that. "Of course, Rie. Why wouldn't I?"
"Well," she patted my hair, "you just seem really... happy right now. Like, happier than I've seen you in a long time. I was just thinking..."
"Hello!" Came a man's voice from the foot of the stairs. "Just letting you know I'm here. No rush!"
Marie didn't finish her thought. "I'll go keep Mitch company while you finish up."
"I'm ready now," I told her.
Marie shook her head. "I don't smell any perfume and you just pulled a turtle neck over all that hair, so brush it out before you come down."
It took six or seven minutes to brush out my long hair and spritz myself with a vanilla and lavender perfume.
When I came down the stairs, I was famished and thrilled to see my buddy there to take me to dinner. He already had Marie's leather coat in his hands, waiting to help me get it on. I was probably a little rude to Marie as I hustled Mitch out the door before I died of starvation! Marie understood, of course and laughed it off, saying that she'd lock up before she left.
"Well," Mitch said as we drove up the road, "first off, I was going to just say how beautiful you looked regardless of how you were dressed tonight, but damn, Donnie, you are more beautiful today than you were yesterday!"
"Thanks," I blushed, just like I'd done the previous night. Why was I so impacted by whatever Mitch said? I guess it made sense, though. I was doing this for him, so it was important that he liked how I looked.
"Second," he shook his head, "I was just going to take you to Applebee's for something simple, but I can't do that with you looking so amazing, so - how does O'Connor's sound?"
O'Connor's was an Irish restaurant in town. They specialized in Irish haut-cuisine - I know, who ever heard of Irish haut-cuisine, right? Well, I'd been to O'Connor's a handful of times and was happy to go again. It was always delicious.
We were seated near the center of the main dining room. Mitch pushed in my chair for me and I crossed my legs at my knees, taking the time to marvel at the way the my skirt draped off my legs. God, clothes could be so amazingly elegant! I was going to enjoy this for as long as it lasted.
After Mitch had ordered himself a Sam Adams and white wine for me, and a 'Berry, Mesclun and Romaine Salad' to share, he reached into a bag that he'd been trying, and failing, to let me see.
"Here," he said, handing me a inexpertly gift wrapped box that was approximately an inch and a half thick, eleven inches wide and fourteen inches long.
"What's this?" I asked.
"I got you something for the trip."
I looked at the box, feeling guilty. "Mitch, you've already spent so much money on this trip..."
"But the clothes and all aren't really for you, really. This is."
I took a deep breath and opened the package. The plain white box made me look up at Mitch. "You bought me an iPad!?"
He smiled. "Yeah. That way you can watch movies and stuff on the plane. Open it. I already registered it to you and charged it because I want to show you the resort."
"Mitch, this is too much!" I shook my head. "This is just too much!"
"No it's not. Just open it." He insisted.
I was opening the box when a woman who was passing stopped and said, "Mitchell?" She was a very attractive woman of about forty five years old.
Mitch looked up and a look of shock appeared on his face. "Bev!" He regained his composure. "What are you doing here? I mean, I know what you're doing here, but I just didn't expect to see you." He stood and kissed the woman's cheek.
"Oscar and I are here with the Elliots. We're sitting right over there." She pointed to an area behind me, then looked at me as if for the first time. She squinted as she looked at me more closely. "Oh, my goodness, is this beautiful thing the legendary Dawn?"
Mitch looked at me and said, "Oh, Geez, I'm sorry. Where are my manners. Yes, this is Dawn. Dawn you remember Bev from the Halloween party, don't you. Bev was The Bride of Frankenstein, remember?"
Suddenly, I did remember the woman and I also remembered that she was the wife of the founder and president of Mitch's firm. "Bev! Of course I remember!" I said as I reached up and shook her hand. "How are you?"
"Oh, Mitchell, she is so much more beautiful without the costume! Why have you been keeping this beautiful child hidden?" She was staring at me, but speaking to Mitch. Then, without warning, she raised her sightline to the side of the room behind me and called across a fairly crowded restaurant, "Oscar! Look who I found! Mitchell is here with his girl." She turned to Mitch and said, "He'll be happy to see you. They were just talking about you five minutes ago."
Mitch smiled and nodded and tried to say something about having a quiet dinner, but that was interrupted by a very fit man in his sixties bursting past me with his hand extended to Mitch.
"Mitch! We were just talking about you!" The man said. "Bob Elliot and I were just talking about the Rand case and he wanted to get some things straightened out before we leave for the retreat this week. Why don't you come over to our table for a few minutes and fill us in on a few of the details."
"Oh, well, I'm here with..." Mitch tried to say, but Bev beat him to it.
"Don't worry about pretty little Dawn, Mitchell. I'll keep her company. Oscar, when you get back to the table, send Jodi over here to join us."
"Oh," Oscar said, noticing me for the first time. "Is this the infamous Dawn that I've heard so much about? How nice to meet you, my dear." He smiled down at me, but did not offer a handshake.
Then I thought - Wait a minute! What did he mean by 'infamous,' or 'hear so much about?' Did everyone in Mitch's professional world think of me as his girlfriend? Well, I was, but... you know what I mean. This whole, 'Dawn' thing seemed to have pretty deep roots. Was I his 'Girlfriend in Canada?' You know, the made up girlfriend for a gay man? What had he told these people?
A server arrived with our drinks. She put my wine on the table and Mitch grabbed his bottle of Sam and bent down to kiss my cheek. As he did that, he whispered, "I'm sorry. I'll be back as soon as I can, but it is a pretty important case..."
"She'll be fine, Mitchell," Bev said, pushing Mitch along. "Jodi and I need to get to know this pretty little thing. You boys go talk shop."
And just like that, Mitch was gone and I was facing Bev, who seemed very happy to have me to herself.
"Dawn, Dawn, Dawn," she smiled as she sat. "Ever since Halloween, you have been the topic of great speculation at the office, you know."
I did my best to smile and look confident.
Bev continued. "Well, prior to that night, Mitchell was the most eligible bachelor at the firm. Tall, handsome and winning nearly every case he worked on. Then, out of the blue, you appeared. You broke a lot of hearts that night, I'll tell you. When you were a no-show at the Christmas party, a lot of girls got their hopes up again, but now... wait till they see how beautiful you really are. That drab 'Daphne' costume you wore on Halloween, did not suit you."
"Velma," I corrected. "I was Velma. Daphne is the pretty one..."
"Yes. The pretty one, indeed..." she said, very cryptically.
I felt like I was being scanned by a computer, or something. Every molecule of my being was being scrutinized by the this woman. For my part, I did notice that her dress was a Dior and her shoes must have cost eight hundred dollars, those were things I would not have noticed before, but I also took note of how much softer my skin looked than hers. How much more lustrous my hair was - well, it was my hair in that Mitch paid for me to have it - and how much more I liked my outfit than hers. There was something about the way that she looked at me that made me feel as if I needed to be in competition with her.
"Ahh," Bev suddenly looked up and extended a hand to someone coming up behind me, "Jodi, look who's here! You remember Mitch's girl, Dawn, don't you?"
"Dawn!" The woman said as she sat in a seat between Bev and me. "What happened to you! We all loved you at the party and then you fell off the face of the earth! When you were a no-show at Christmas, a lot of the girls thought that Mitch was back on the market. There are going to be a lot of broken hearted office girls when you show up in Hawaii. Oh, you are coming, darling, aren't you? You must, dear, you must come!"
First, I have to mention that both of these women were a lot - A LOT - younger than their husbands. Jodi was probably only five or six years older than me and her husband was, as Oscar was, well into his sixties.
Second, I was very surprised that these women were so aware of the social going-ons at their husbands' law firm. This all seemed very 'Mad Men' to me. You know that show about the advertising industry in the late fifties and early sixties? Until that moment, I thought that women had moved past this kind of gossip and manipulation. I was wrong.
I started to explain that I'd been unable to attend the Christmas party for one reason or another and that I was going to go on the trip... but as I was speaking, Jodi lifted the table cloth and looked under it. Then, as I was in mid-sentence she turned to Bev and said, "Oh, my God, Bev, have you seen this skirt? It's adorable! Stand up, honey, and let us see it better."
Completely baffled, I stood and stepped away from the table.
"Isn't that just the cutest outfit?" Jodi said, nearly applauding for me.
"Oh, it is," Bev agreed. "Give us a little turn so we can see it better."
I did as I was asked, and to be honest, the fact that they were approving of my choice made me feel pretty great.
"That would look just perfect on my step daughter," Jodi said. "You must tell me where you got it!"
I was quite happy to share that information. After all, this was the one outfit that I'd chosen and I was proud of it. "Kaminsky's"
Both women looked impressed. "Kaminsky's?" Bev said in a 'faux shocked' manner. "Isn't that a bit... pricey... for a graphic artist?"
Wait? They knew what I did for a living? How much had Mitch told them?
"Unemployed graphic artist, actually," I smiled as I sat back down. "Mitch bought this for me."
Jodi took my hand and squeezed it tighter than any car salesman ever had. "Oh, you know what that means, don't you? If a guy is willing to spend that kind of money on you, a diamond ring can't be too far away! Mitch is a real keeper! Tall, handsome, an excellent lawyer... if he settles down and gets married soon, I bet he makes partner by thirty five. Don't let him slip away!"
Yeah, no pressure, right? I needed to talk to Mitch about all of these 'behind the curtains' plotting and planning. We'd need to come up with a really good break up story after the trip.
My salad arrived and the ladies allowed me to dig in, thank goodness, and all the while they commented on how I 'ate like a bird' and after I married Mitch I could 'let myself enjoy food again.' It wasn't exactly the kind of conversation one would have heard around the Algonquin Round Table a hundred years ago and I kept hoping that Mitch would return to rescue me. He finally did, but that was nearly two hours later. The restaurant as actually closed and customers were finishing up their meals.
"Ladies, I am so sorry that we got involved in work related things," Oscar said as all three men came over to our table. "And I especially apologize to you, young lady," he said to me, as he picked up my hand and patted it as if it were a gerbil. "I'm sure that I interrupted a romantic evening for you. I am sorry."
"Not a problem at all," I smiled as Mitch pulled out my chair, helped me to stand and held my coat open for me.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I couldn't get away."
"You didn't eat anything," I whispered back to him. "Should we get the rest of the salad to go?"
He just shook his head. As we reached the parking lot, I received kisses on the cheeks from both women and their husbands. It was odd for me, but also, Bob Elliot's kiss seemed to last just long enough to cross the line from uncomfortable and become creepy.
Mitch must have apologized fifty times on the short ride to my house. I said it was fine. I knew that they had been talking business.
"Well, yes, for part of it we were, but a lot of the time was discussing the golf tournament in Hawaii and who we would be partnered with. Things like that."
Ok, this was a problem. Mitch loved golf. He played on the golf team in high school and even got a partial scholarship to play golf in college. If he got out of work early, he went to the driving range. Every weekend and vacation morning, he was playing a round of golf with some group or another or even just going to the course and hooking up with someone who needed a partner.
He loved the game and he was good at it. I didn't and I wasn't.
"Mitch... I can't play golf. I suck at it. You know that."
He smiled at me. "No worries. It's just for the lawyers and accountants. A few of the wives play, but not as part of the tournament. They have us scheduled for two rounds of golf on different courses on most of the days of the retreat. It's a team building thing."
Now, I was very confused. "So, what will I be doing while you do that?"
He shrugged. "You'll be with the wives and girlfriends. There's all kinds of things to do at the resort. I'll show you when we get to your place. There's beaches and hot tubs and pools, spas, massages, facials, all kinds of lady stuff."
This was sobering news. I thought I'd have Mitch to protect me on the trip, but now... just me and the women. Wow. That was a lot to take in. I needed to get a handle on how that was going to work.
When we got to my place, Mitch came in, helped me with my coat and asked me to sit on the couch with him. Once again, he presented the iPad that I had not been able to unbox earlier.
"I have an iPad, you know," I shook my head, still surprised at how reckless my penny wise friend was being with his money.
"You have a first generation iPad with a cracked screen," he scoffed. "It'll make a better cutting board than a computing tablet. Trust me, you'll love this one."
I turned on the iPad and was surprised by how quickly it came on. I was also surprised that it had my internet connection password already entered. When I mentioned that, Mitch just smiled and told me the name of the resort where we'd be staying. I entered it in Google and it opened on the site of the most beautiful resort I'd ever seen. Every view was amazing! Mountains - volcanic mountains - palm trees, perfect white beaches, water as blue as the sky... just amazing!
Mitch smiled at me from the other side of the couch. He could tell that I was actually getting excited about this trip, now. "Can I see the iPad?" He asked. "I'll show you our suite."
"Our SUITE!?" I repeated, shocked. "You didn't tell them that we're honeymooning or anything, did you?"
He smiled. "No, but this may be the only time we get to go to Hawaii, so why not go all the way and stay in a suite?"
"You're spending a lot of money on this, Mitch," I shook my head. I never had a lot of money, but after months of just struggling to keep all the balls in the air while I looked for a new job, I had become more cautious with money than I was before Nancy left. "You know, we racked up quite a bill at Kaminsky's today, and the luggage, and then this iPad... this isn't like you. You've always been very frugal. To be honest, I'm a little worried about you."
He waved me off. "Donnie, I'm fine. I promise. I decided I was going to splurge on this trip whether you came or not. I booked this room back in August. You'll love it. Come here. Sit closer so we can both see the screen."
I moved beside him, tucking skirt under me as I sat. The room was amazing. It was huge and had two king sized beds in it. That was a relief. I hadn't really considered the sleeping arrangements until I saw the beds. A massive bathroom with a jet tub in it, one of those showers with jets coming out of everywhere, an actual dinning room where we could eat food ordered from room service, huge TVs in the lounge and bedroom... it was all every impressive.
I asked about the flight. I didn't know anything about the departure time or anything else.
"I've got a town car picking us up at four on Wednesday afternoon. We'll get to the airport in plenty of time, and since we're flying first class, we'll eat in the Hawaiian Airlines lounge. The plane leaves at ten that night, it's an eleven hour flight, we can sleep on the plane and, because of the six hour time difference, when we arrive in Hawaii, the sun will just be coming up. Pretty good, huh?"
"Pretty great," I agreed. "I guess we'll need to wear sweats to sleep on the plane." It was about this time that I realized that I was sitting differently. I had kicked off my shoes and my feet had gotten chilly, so they were tucked under me, nestled cozily in my warm, woolen skirt. Then, somewhere along the way, I had leaned in towards Mitch to see the screen better and now I found my body also nestled cozily, but I was nestled against Mitch's chest and his arm was around my shoulders. I should have been upset by this, but it felt nice to be close and warm and nothing felt at all weird about it. I just stayed focused on the iPad.
"Donnie," he laughed at my suggestion of sweat pants, "we're traveling first class. The chairs fold flat into actual beds and they provide pajamas for the customers. Usually, the pjs are just plain, broad cloth things, but I called them this morning and spent a little extra to get you silk ones. They're really nice and have the company logo on them. They'll look nice on you."
I turned my head and looked up at him. "They'll look nice on me?"
Mitch chuckled at my question. "Ok, look, this is kind of playing with my mind, Donnie. I mean, you've looked in the mirror, right? I know that you're my friend, Donnie, and I know I'm really happy that we've found a way that we can help each other out, but... this kind of feels nice, too, doesn't it? Sitting here together? I'm not going to pretend that anything can come of this, but... for the time being... why don't we just, you know, go with it. I've been watching you and you can't tell me that you're not enjoying this and, to be very honest, having someone who looks beautiful and smells unbelievable holding my hand, kissing me, cuddling with me... truth is... I like it."
I relaxed against his chest just a bit more. "I smell good?" I teased him.
He put down the iPad and hugged me tightly, taking a comically deep breath. "You smell one hell of a lot better than you ever did before, Donnie, I'll tell you that. Yeah! You smell like..." this time he really did take a deep breath, "like vanilla and... some kind of flowers and your hair..." he buried his nose in my hair and breathed deeply, "... I smells like fruit... strawberries, maybe." By now, I was laughing nearly uncontrollably at the way he was sniffing and analyzing my scents. "So, to satisfy your seemingly constant need for compliments, you look beautiful, you smell beautiful and I love having the opportunity to be with such a beautiful woman. Are you satisfied?"
I rolled onto my back so that Mitch had no choice but to cradle my shoulders like he would a baby's. I smiled and said, "I don't know if 'satisfied' is the right word. 'Confused' or 'frustrated' might be better."
As we stared at each other, our smiles dimmed. Mitch, very slowly, leaned over until his lips were nearly touching mine, but then he stopped. I knew why. He was looking for some sign from me that I wanted him to kiss me. So, I gave him the best sign I could. I raised my head and kissed him. It only lasted a few seconds, but then he kissed me. This one lasted longer and felt more heated, as if it might lead to something we both knew we shouldn't do. When he pulled away, he smiled at me and gently brushed my blonde hair from my face with his soft fingers. "I'd kiss you more, but I don't want to mess up that lipstick. Marie intimidates me, but I'm pretty sure that Hilda could beat the tar out of me."
"Good thinking," I smiled and sat up and straightened my voluminous skirt out. "Thank you for dinner... and the iPad." He smiled. "And the clothes..." I continued. "Do you like this outfit? It's the only one I picked out and I got it just to wear tonight."
"Really?" Mitch asked. He seemed flattered that I had put so much thought into my clothes.
I nodded. "I thought it looked pretty... you know. Marie says it looks 'classic.' Actually Bev and Jodi said that, too. You don't think it looks too... frumpy, do you?"
He looked at me, his eyes settling on my breasts where they remained for several seconds. Then, suddenly, he stood. "I'd better go."
I stood, too. "Oh... yeah... you have work in the morning and all. Will I see you tomorrow?"
He pulled his jacket on then looked at me as if considering the pros and cons of being with me too much. It took a good long time before he said, "Yes," and I felt a sense of relief pass through me. Marie and Hilda were great and all, but I felt different with Mitch and I liked that feeling better than how I felt when he wasn't with me.
We remained looking at each other, neither really wanting to say goodnight until Mitch noticed something and he smiled. Then he said, "I just noticed that you pierced your ears... kind of a lot!" He slid his hand along my cheek and pulled my hair back to inspect my ears. "Three in each ear? Nice."
"You like them?" I asked.
"I love them," he smiled then used the hand on my face to pull me closer. He laid one long, soft, warm gentle kiss on my lips, then stood straight and looked in my eyes. "I love you," he said, then walked out the door, leaving my mind racing. Was that a regular 'I love you,' like the ones he said nearly every time we'd said goodbye since middle school, or was it something else? God, is this how a woman's brain worked? Did she leave every date feeling... empty... like I did right at that moment? I didn't think I felt that empty the day that Nancy left me!
It just sucked.
I locked up my house and went up to my guest room to change out of my clothes and hang them up. All the bags that Marie and I had brought in were piled on the guest room bed and there was a note sitting on the bags that read, 'I hope your date went well. Get a good sleep. I'll pick you up around ten. I booked a tanning salon appointment for you. You don't want to look too pale in Hawaii. I ran to Target and got you a present. It's hanging in your bathroom. Love you. Marie.'
I hung up the skirt and sweater, admiring them both again as I did. Then, I walked into my bed room wearing just my bra and panties and stockings. When it walked into my bathroom, I smiled when I saw what looked like a long, blue, men's pajama top, but was in fact, a very cute nightgown. It was just a soft cotton, practical nightie, but it looked more comfortable than what I normally wore. It also had a night pinned to it. That note read, 'Surprise! We'll get some romantic nighties tomorrow, but this will do for tonight. Remember to wear panties - don't be a tramp. Love you! Marie.'
To Be Continued...
Hawaiian Retreat - 3
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with Mitch. Finally, the day arrives and Mitch gets to find out if all that money
he spent was worth it!
I cannot thank you enough for the great comments I have received about this story!
I am so happy that it is being well received and I particularly appreciate the
critiques I get as well.
Author's Note: Please toss me a review? I promise I do not bite! (Except when eating.) ~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 3 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 3
When Marie arrived at ten the next morning, I had poached eggs, toast and coffee ready for her. When she let herself in, she found me in the kitchen, still wearing my new, dark blue nightie, the one that looked like a man's pajama top.
"Well, look at you, looking so cute and acting so domesticated." She teased as she took off her coat. I smiled and placed two plates on my kitchen table, one for each of us. Each had two poached eggs, two pieces of oatmeal bread toasted and buttered with Irish butter and two ripe strawberries. "Fancy!" my sister teased. "I guess all your fancy clothes are inspiring you to be fancy in other parts of your life."
"That's not too far from the truth." I smiled. "I woke up this morning feeling inspired to clean things up around here and start living a little better. So, I started with a nice breakfast."
Marie smiled at that.
We enjoyed our meal and planned the day -
- The tanning center at eleven
- A stop at the mall for nighties
- Mid-afternoon lunch with Hilda
- Hilda would take me to pick up my luggage (Marie would need to leave to get ready for work)
- Home in time to get together with Mitch
Most of that was fine, but the purchase of nighties was an issue I wanted to discuss. I liked what I was wearing and wanted to find more like it. When Marie mentioned the lingerie department at Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom's I thought that was ok. I could get some nice silk PJs or maybe something like I was wearing only nicer, but then she mentioned Victoria's Secret, and I needed to say something. I pointed out that there was nothing untoward going on between Mitch and me and there'd be no reason to dress in a sexy nightie from Victoria's Secret just to go to bed.
Marie countered that argument by pointing out that the point of the sleep-lingerie was not to impress Mitch, but to maintain an illusion. "What if someone comes to your room late in the evening or early in the morning and they find you dressed in a 'cute' nightie? How is that going to look? You're on your first big vacation with your boyfriend and he takes you to one of the most beautiful places on earth and you dress 'cute' for him? No, you don't. You need to be a princess during the daytime and a sex kitten at night. That's the truth you have to present and that's what they'll believe."
I grabbed my new iPad and opened the tab that showed the suite in which we'd be staying. "Look," I said quite knowingly, "we have two king sized beds. One for me and one for Mitch. If anyone comes in, they'll see that we're sleeping separately, right? So, cute is fine."
"Or -" Marie persisted, "you sleep in one bed and have sex in the other. Either way, if you're wandering around your suite late at night, going from point 'A' to point 'B' and there is a knock on the door and it's one of Mitch's colleagues or one of their wives and they just want to touch base with Mitch or you about something or another, when that door opens, that person needs to find you dressed in a sexy nightie with a shear, little robe covering it. As Hilda would say, it's just set dressing, but it needs to be there."
I started to argue, but Marie reminded me that I'd agreed to do whatever she told me to do, so that ended my battle.
Then Marie said, "Is this a new iPad? Where did you get this? You can't afford something like this!"
"Mitch gave it to me," I said in a small voice.
"Wow," Marie checked it out. "Cellular data, too. This cost a few bucks."
I nodded.
"Mitch isn't usually this much of a spendthrift, is he? If I recall correctly, for your last birthday he gave you a gift certificate to the movie theatre, didn't he?"
"That was last year," I said, staring at the table top. "This year he gave me three tee shirts. One with the 'Abbey Road' album cover on it, one with 'Let It Be' and one with 'Revolver.'"
Marie nodded. "That must have totaled up to forty five or fifty dollars. Now, a thousand dollar iPad? Is there anything you want to tell me?"
In fact there was, but how?
"Look, Rie," I said as I stood and cleared the table, "this is all getting pretty weird between Mitch and me. The way the clothes make me look is making him act weird and the way that they make me feel is making me feel weird."
"How so?" Marie was just not going to drop this.
I sighed. "I... I like how I feel when I'm dressed up and with Mitch, ok? I feel... pretty. I know that's not how a guy should feel, but that's the truth."
Marie nodded and waited. I filled the silence.
"And Mitch looks at me... differently. Like... like a guy looks at a girl. And when we kiss - which you made us do, incidentally" - I couldn't even think about how to phrase this, "...I feel... different. Not like when I used to kiss Nancy, but... different. Like... I feel like there's an emptiness in me and that his kiss... fills it. Does that make sense?"
Marie let out a long breath. "Yeah." She thought for a moment, then said, "Can I ask you a question?"
I just nodded from the sink where I was rinsing the dishes and pots from breakfast.
Marie was trying her very best to be tactful, I knew that, but the question still hurt to hear. "Do you want to advance your relationship with Mitch to a sexual one?"
I stared at the sink for a few seconds before I spoke much more softly than I'd intended, "No."
Marie asked the obvious question, "Why?"
I shrugged and turned to face her. Marie and I knew each other better than anyone else in the world knew us. I could share anything in the world with her, Hell, I'd shared my mother's womb with her. I shrugged, "Because I don't have any interest in touching another guy's..." I stopped. That wasn't it and I knew it. I looked around the room for a few moments before my eyes met my sister's. "Because I'm too scared to."
Marie nodded, knowing I'd been honest. "So? What now?"
I sat and shook my head. "Rie... I'm not gay, I swear it. I know that's one hundred percent true. I really and truly am not gay. When I jerk... fantasize, I don't think about men, I think about women. Beautiful, soft, sweet smelling women and now I AM ONE and I don't know what to do about these feelings and about the fear, Rie. I'm in uncharted waters and I'm getting lost in everything that I'm doing and I love it all so much more than I should and I'm scared, Rie! I'm so fucking scared! I feel like I'm losing myself! Like everything I've ever known about myself was a lie and I'm petrified that that's the truth!"
I was shaking by then and trying to stop the flow of emotion and the flow of words. What the hell was I even saying. Had I even thought these thoughts! Is this why I was feeling the way I was feeling?
"Okay, okay, okay." Marie moved from her end of the table to sit next to me and rub my shoulders as my head sunk to rest in my arms on the table top. "You need to take some deep breaths and calm down, Donnie, or you're going to pass out."
I did and it helped. I got control back.
Marie continued to rub my back, but she laid her head on my shoulder. "Hey? Are you ok?"
I nodded, but didn't raise my head.
She kissed my sleeve covered arm a few times. "Do you know how Mitch feels about this?"
I lifted my head and sat back. "About the same, I think and I think he's just as confused as I am. I think the iPad was a way to tell me that, but... Rie, how am I going to survive a week alone with him?"
Marie smiled. "Well... maybe you should both use that week to sort things out. I'm not saying that you ARE gay, Donnie, but there's obviously something going on that you two need to consider. Take it slow and talk things out and don't do anything you'll regret later, ok? And, besides, I'm only a phone call away, right? So's Hilda. If things are getting too heated and you're not ready to move to the next level, just step into another room and call your sister." She paused for a moment. "And I'll tell you all about my period again and that will cool things right down."
We both laughed at that.
Then she asked, "Do you still want to do this?"
"I have to." I nodded. "I promised Mitch and he's already spent a fortune, besides, it would crazy to waste all this hair and everything." Marie waited until I was ready to stop talking. "Besides... I need to see this through to find out what I really am."
Marie shook her head. "You're a great guy, Donnie, that's what you are."
I nodded. "You know what I mean. Come help me get ready and we can get going."
Marie picked a green sweater dress for me to wear that day. It had a modest V-neck, three quarter length sleeves and a straight, loose skirt. Nothing fancy, but very pretty and very comfortable.
When we reached the tanning salon, I found out that not only would Marie be tanning in the same private room as I was, but that we'd be tanning in the nude. Obviously, this concerned me. I mean, with my... thing... taped up between my legs, from the front, I looked perfectly passable, but what if I hadn't done a perfect job? Marie. Calmed me down, though, "Don't worry. They'll just close the door, let us undress and they control the beds from outside the room."
The attendant showed us to our tanning room, all the while chastising us for not having come sooner. "You're leaving in two days? You really should have come a couple of weeks ago to have built up a nice tan. This will just give you the most basic tan."
"This opportunity just came along the other day," Marie defended my lack of tanning knowledge. "I just want her to not look too pale when she arrives."
The woman looked a bit snotty as she opened the door to the tanning room. "There's a changing room in the back of the tanning area. You'll find lotions in there. When you're ready to start, push the green button on the wall and I'll talk to you through the speaker system. If you need to stop the session for any reason, just push the red button on tanning bed's cover, the unit will shut down and I'll be notified. The session will last approximately ten minutes. A bell will ring at the end of the session. At that time, feel free to take your time to clean off and get dressed. Any questions? Enjoy your session."
The speech was rehearsed and delivered with a robotic quality, something I normally would have commented on, but I guessed that she must have given the same speech a few dozen times a day for several years, so I just said 'thank you' and entered the room. Marie and I disrobed together and helped each other with the lotion before climbing into the tanning beds. I got in first so that Marie could help clear my copious mass of blonde hair from my face - It wasn't just the amount of hair I was carrying, but my lack of dexterity in dealing with it.
The whole tanning bed process was a bit of a surreal experience. It reminded me of a suspended animation chamber in a sci-fi film and when the tanning lights came on, there was a smell, not an unpleasant smell, but a smell none the less, that gave me a bit of anxiety. Was my skin burning off? Probably not. It was probably a combination of the heat and the lotion, but it was noticeable. It was a nice, warm feeling, though, laying on the heated bed for as long as it lasted.
When we were properly cooked, we climbed out of the beds, helped to clean each other off, got dressed and headed to the mall. Our first stop was actually an accessories store where Marie grabbed a whole variety of hair clips - some quite large and some quite small. When we were back in the mall's common area, Marie had me sit and pulled a small section of hair from the edges of my forehead and brought them to the back of my head where she clipped a very small clip into them so that my hair, for the most part, stayed away from my face.
"Now that you've had a few days to deal with your new hair, you can use clips for a little respite," Marie explained. "You may find these useful for a daytime look, but never, never, never use these for a nighttime look. Is that clear?"
I nodded. "Yes, ma'm," I joked and we headed for Nordstrom's.
"You know," Marie said, as we walked - she'd obviously just coming up with an idea, "there is a salon at the resort. If you wanted to try an updo for one of the fancy events, I'm sure that Mitch would pay for that." She smiled as she toyed with my hair. "It would make you feel sexy." She smiled, playfully, knowing that being sexy was not really my goal.
I snickered. "Just what I need."
We were pretty quick shoppers for a change. Marie chose two silk nighties. Both were rather plain, just silk slips, really. Spaghetti straps with no real ornamentation. I thought they were very pretty.
From there, we hurried to Neiman Marcus where she found one more that she liked. It was the same kind of silk slip with spaghetti straps, but this one was more colorful and had some mesh areas that showed a lot more skin than I wanted to show. She also bought two short, silk robes.
Before we left, I pointed out that I had been hauled around by people for the last few days and that I hadn't even been carrying a wallet. I would need a wallet and a purse of some kind for the trip. Marie agreed and we purchased a very small, black clutch made by Yvette Saint Laurent that I would have guessed might have cost somewhere between sixty and a hundred dollars, but in fact set Mitch back another thirteen hundred and fifty dollars! There was no logic to the cost of women's clothes and I found that frustrating, but Marie just laughed at that. "It's not the cost of the materials that you're paying for, Donnie, you're paying for the prestige of the logo. That little gold 'YSL' will make an impact. That's the world you're entering. Things like that matter."
Then we entered the dreaded sanctum known as 'Victoria's Secret.' I knew that I looked like a typical customer, but I felt more conspicuous than I'd ever felt before. Almost none of the clothing I saw on display was designed for work or even comfort. It was all designed for titillation. Even the sweat pants fit in such a way that they emphasized the curves of the wearer. Just the thought of being that much of a spectacle gave me the creeps. I mentioned it to Marie who shook her head and said, "That's why you liked that wool skirt and sweater that you wore last night! You want to be a good girl, and that's great, but every now and then, you need to loosen up. Look around. That's what these clothes are all about. It's not about being slutty, it's about having fun. We've got beautiful, supple bodies with soft skin and nice curves. These clothes celebrate that. I promise you, the first time you feel your breasts being caressed by a sexy Victoria's Secret nightie, you feel like the sexiest girl on earth."
I rolled my eyes, but when we started looking at the very low cut, very lacy nighties, I did get a little excited at the prospect of wearing one of them. We only bought one, a blue, silky, slip style in a really pretty shade of light blue with very transparent lace edging on the low cut cleavage and colorful and pretty bouquets of flowers decorated the tempting item.
Satisfied with her rather meager haul, at least compared with the previous days' hauls, we headed down the mall to meet Hilda for lunch, but along the way, we stopped in a jewelry store. Marie assured me that she would not go crazy buying me jewelry I probably would wear only once anyway, and she was pretty well behaved. I left with a tiny, gold watch, an amethyst pendant on a gold chain and a Claddagh ring for the third finger of my right hand. All in all, she'd spent less than twenty five hundred dollars at the mall, which made me feel relieved.
As we were entering the chain restaurant where we were to meet Hilda, Marie stopped and said, "I've thought about it, Donnie, and I want you to take mom's pearls to wear in Hawaii."
Now, our mom had passed away very suddenly a few years earlier and it seemed to hit Marie and me much harder than our older sisters. Mom hadn't updated her will in decades, so the house we grew up in, the little saving that mom had, her life insurance, everything went to our sisters. At the time, both Marie and I were doing fine in our careers and we chose not to make our relationship with Claudia and Angela even more stressful than it was, and we agreed to not contest the will - WITH ONE EXCEPTION. Marie wanted my mom's string of pearls. You'd think that would be a pretty simple request, but Claudia and Angela went head to head with Marie until she ultimately won. Those pearls meant an awful lot to her, I knew that and I knew that this offer was a huge deal for Rie.
"Rie..." I was truly overwhelmed by the offer, "... I couldn't. What if something happened to them?"
"Just don't let anything happen to them, Donnie. It's my way of saying that I've really enjoyed having a little sister, even if it's just for a little while. When you wear them, remember that I love you."
All I could do was hug her and say, "Thank you, Rie. I love you, too."
When we entered the restaurant, Marie spoke to the hostess. "Hi. We're meeting my wife. I believe she's already been seated. Tall. Thin. Beautiful. An accent like a Nazi."
The hostess let out a nervous laugh. "Oh... yes. Right this way."
We sat by a window and had a nice, light lunch. Hilda informed me that she'd bought me some additional makeup and brushes to take with me, just to be sure that I have everything I might need. How can you not love a sister in law who is that nice, right?
After dinner, we said goodbye to Marie who headed off to work with the final admonishment that we would be packing on Tuesday.
Hilda and I went to pick up my luggage. I have to admit, having my initials embroidered on them was pretty cool. We loaded them into Hilda's Land Rover and unloaded them into my house when we got there. Then, suddenly it was already five o'clock and I was starting to focus on seeing Mitch. Hilda understood and headed to my door.
Before she left, she stopped to kiss my cheek and asked, "Have you thought about what we discussed the other day?"
I nodded. "I haven't thought about much else."
Hilda wiped a hair from my face. "And what do you think?"
I sighed. I'd kind of used the activity of that busy day to not think about how I felt about Mitch, but Hilda wanted an answer. "I love Mitch, Hilda, but... I don't love a guy's body. I don't want to be with a guy. It doesn't appeal to me. I think we're destined to be friends that share a weird week together."
Hilda hugged me. "Ok. But it doesn't have to be that way. You know we're both here for you if you need us. We love you."
"I know," I answered, "I love you, too."
She kissed my cheek again, then, as she headed out the door she said, "I'm working out of town tomorrow morning, but I'll be by in the afternoon to set up your makeup case for you."
"Drive safely!" I called after her. It had started to snow. It wasn't sticking, but black ice is always a problem on nights like this.
Mitch and I had tentative plans to go to dinner, but with the snow, I was concerned, and not just concerned about driving in that weather. The snow didn't seem all that bad, but I didn't have any boots and if Marie were to find out that I messed up a pair of new pumps walking in the snow... well, I didn't even want to think about that lecture.
I called Mitch and he insisted that he was at least coming over to my place. "I have something for you and, besides, we seem to be able to behave ourselves in public. We need to get passed being alone."
Ok, that was definitely true, but could we get through an evening together without doing something stupid? We were about to find out.
I'm not a gourmet cook, not by a long shot, but I make a great mac and cheese with Spam chunks in it, so that's what I prepared for Mitch and me for dinner. I didn't change into 'evening' clothes, but stayed in my green dress, and I set up a couple of folding tables in the living room, hoping that watching a movie might keep our minds off of the elephant in the room - the elephant would be me.
Mitch arrived just as I moved the pot of mac and cheese off of the hot burner. "I'm in the kitchen!" I called when I heard the door open and close.
Mitch said 'hi' as he came into the kitchen, taking off his slightly damp suit jacket and putting it over the back of a kitchen chair. I asked about the roads and he replied, "I don't think it'll amount to much. Just a flurry. Boy, Donnie, every time I see you, you look more beautiful."
I smiled and blushed as I spooned dinner into two bowls. "Seriously? I didn't even get changed or redo my makeup. I've been wearing this all day."
Mitch loosened his tie and came up behind me laying an affectionate peck on my cheek and giving me a hug. "In all the time we've known each other, I've never once expected to hear my best buddy give me the classic 'What? This old thing?' speech. But, yes, seriously, you look amazing." He reached into his pocket and pulled something out saying, "Here."
He handed me an envelope. When I opened it, I found a new driver's license with my name listed as 'Dawn' and my sex as 'F.' "How did you get this?" I asked, surprised.
"I work with people at the Registry of Motor Vehicles and I mentioned that I had a friend who needed some help getting a new license in a rush. They were happy to help."
I was confused. "But... after we get back...?"
"Your old license is still valid, don't worry. This is just for the trip, or for as long as you need it."
Whew! That was a relief. There was an end to this, after all.
I led Mitch to the living room and the folding tables. I put the bowls down, then we sat, which was a bit of a challenge for me. The dress necessitated that I sit with my rump near the end of the cushion and that I turn slightly to the left, cross my legs at the knees and pull my table up against my right hip so that I could eat. As I placed my napkin on my lap, I noticed that Mitch was watching me and smiling.
"What?" I asked.
He shook his head and chuckled. "Nothing... it's just that you're... such a girl!"
I shrugged at that. "Well, isn't that what you wanted?"
"Oh, you're so much more than I wanted," he laughed and turned his attention to his dinner, such as it was.
I felt like I needed to put an end to this discussion, so I grabbed the remote, turned on the TV and called up the most un-sexually-stimulating movie I could think of: 'Rogue One, A Star Wars Story.' If you haven't seen it, you should, it's great, but in summary, it's a typical Star Wars storyline, except with no love story and the acting is better. The end of the film is a blood bath of Shakespearean proportions, so I assumed that there would be no sexual tension brought on by this movie, and I was right.
I ate about a third of what I'd normally have eaten. I don't know why, but I felt like I just needed to watch what I ate, now that I was in dresses full time. I guess that Marie had gotten into my head. Mitch, on the other hand, ate all of his, what was left of mine and then had an ice cream sandwich for dessert.
Typically, when Mitch and I ate in front of the TV at either of our houses, the dirty dishes stayed on the folding tables until we were ready to call it a night. This night, though, I cleared the dishes, rinsed them and loaded them into the washer, brought Mitch an ice cream sandwich and folded and put away the tables.
By the time Princess Leia had the plans for the Death Star in her weirdly CGIed hands, my shoes were off, my chilly feet were tucked underneath my butt and I was curled up on the other end of the couch from Mitch. Let me tell you something that you probably don't understand. Some of the mannerisms that we think of as 'feminine' are one hundred percent clothes related. My house is kept reasonably warm in the winter, but these clothes were just not warm enough! The snuggling and cuddling that women do isn't just a hormonal based need for affection, girls are freaking cold!
When the movie ended, Mitch stood up and went to the kitchen.
"Are you leaving?" I asked. It wasn't quite nine o'clock yet.
"Nope," he called back, "just grabbing your iPad. I saw it out here charging."
When he came back into the living room he stopped and looked at me. "Are you cold?"
"I'm freezing," I admitted as I rubbed my biceps.
Mitch went to my hall closet and retrieved a large wool blanket that I kept in there. "Why didn't you get this out before?" He shook his head as he shook the blanket out, then sat down beside me and pulled the blanket onto both of us. "Come on. Lean on me and get warm."
"Mitch," I sighed, "I really don't want things to get weird with us. Last night, it kind of felt like we were going to take things a little too far..."
Mitch held up his hand to stop me. "I know and I'm really sorry, Donnie. I've been thinking about this a lot since I left and I've been trying to figure out what happened. I think I was just kind of caught up in, well... how you look. I know that's a kind of a cop out, and I don't want you to think I'm blaming you for it or anything, I just mean... Look, Donnie, you know how I am. I'm great in a job situation, or on the golf course or with the guys, but with a girl... you know, in a dating situation.. I can't do anything. I can't talk, I can't think straight, I'm just a big idiot, but with YOU as the girl... I guess I felt comfortable for the first time and... I got carried away and I'm really sorry."
Everything he said was true and was similar to how I'd felt the previous night, too. "Yeah, me too," I muttered.
"So, come on. Lean into me and get warm. I promise I can control myself." He raised his arm and I cuddled underneath it feeling safe and happy that we both felt the same way.
We spent an hour or more looking at things pertaining to the trip that Mitch wanted to share with me. Things about the flight and about the resort and about things that were being planned for the 'wives' - apparently even the girlfriends were considered 'wives.' It all seemed very elegant and much nicer than any vacation I'd ever taken before and now that Mitch and I both seemed to be on the same page, I was very excited about going.
As it approached eleven, Mitch said he needed to get going. "I don't think I'll see you tomorrow," he said and seemed to regret it. "I need to get my things packed and ready to go. If you need anything, just get it, or give me a call if you need me to do anything for you."
I smiled and straightened out his rumpled suit jacket. "My knight in shining armor, huh? Always willing to help out a maiden in distress."
He pulled me closer. "Donnie... even before you became Dawn, I wanted to help you out. It's not because you're a maiden... it's because you're my friend and I love you. It's not just something I say when I leave, Donnie, I mean it sincerely. I love you and I want to help you out."
"I know," I smiled up into his eyes and - it was weird. I'd been with Mitch on more evenings than not for most of our lives, but I never noticed how blue his eyes were. They were really striking - Like as blue as Chris Pine's or maybe Paul Newman's. Now, that should have been information that I kept to myself, but for some reason I blurted out, "I never noticed how blue your eyes are."
He chuckled. "Really, because more than once, I've given you ties that match the green of yours."
"Really?" I was surprised.
He smiled. "You never noticed? What kind of an artist are you?"
"An unemployed one," I laughed. "Maybe now I know why."
There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments until Mitch asked, "Would it be ok if I kiss you goodnight?"
"Of course!" I smiled. "We need to be comfortable doing this, right? So, go for it."
He stared into my eyes for a good few seconds, then bent and kissed me and, I swear, it was such a warm and romantic kiss that I felt shivers running from my lips to the tips of my toes.
When our lips parted, he almost looked smug about how he'd kissed me, but now, instead of wanting to be cautious and go slow, I just wanted Mitch to stay with me and kiss me like that a million more times.
But that didn't happen. Mitch headed out the door. I stopped him from closing the door, though, and I stood and watched while he brushed the snow off of his Lexus and then got into the car and drove away.
That was that, I guessed, so up to bed I went to do my nightly regime then climb into a cold, lonely bed, once again. I still couldn't get a handle on what I really wanted and I think I found that more frustrating than anything.
Tuesday was mostly a day of preparation. Marie and I never left the house and I never actually got out of my pajama-top-nightie. We packed my suitcases in an amazingly organized manner. Marie put a tag with a number on it on the hanger of each of my dresses/skirts/blouses as we hung them in a garment bag and then she slipped the corresponding lingerie into a one gallon sized ziplock baggie, wrote the corresponding number on the baggie with Sharpie and put those baggies into a suitcase. "This makes everything idiot-proof," Marie smiled while I worked our whether or not she thought I was an idiot. The numbers were only for organizational reasons and I was advised by Rie to make sure that I asked some of the veteran wives about dress code for each event, including non-scheduled time. She assured me that the more experienced wives would appreciate my desire to conform.
One entire suitcase was dedicated to just shoes and those shoes were each still in their boxes. By one in the afternoon, Marie was satisfied with the way that everything had been packed and protected. Every dress was in a dry cleaning style bag and hung perfectly in a garment bag. Every piece of lingerie was labeled and laid neatly in a suitcase. Every shoe was in a shoebox and every shoebox was in a suitcase. Every nightie was folded neatly and laid on top of its corresponding robe. Every pair of stockings was in an interior pocket in the suitcases. Every piece of jewelry, including our mother's string of pearls, was in a baggie and tucked into my carry-on. My hair products, perfumes, powders, antiperspirants, hair clips were all in baggies and packed away.
That only left my makeup.
Hilda arrived at two thirty with a very welcomed chicken salad wrap for each of us. She looked at the packed, but still opened luggage and laughed. "Are you MOVING to Hawaii?"
As we ate, Hilda said, "I do pity poor Mitch having to push a cart with all of that luggage through the airport."
"No, no," I explained. "We're traveling first class, so there's a concierge/porter service at the airport. When we arrive, they'll take all of our luggage, except our carry-ons, and we won't see it again until it arrives at our hotel suite."
"Suite?" Hilda smirked. "Your hotel SUITE? Are you serious?"
I set about showing Hilda all of the pictures that Mitch had shown me. "Look, because we're in a suite, the resort staff will even unpack my bags for me, then pack it all back up before we leave. Isn't that great?"
Hilda shook her head. "He's spoiling you."
I laughed at that.
After lunch, Hilda packed all of my makeup correctly so that it looked very organized.
We were a little vexed about how to handle the change of clothes I would have to do on the airplane. Marie was all for running downtown and buying a new garment bag, but Hilda called Mitch and asked if he'd be carrying a garment bag on the plane for himself. He said that he was and that I could pack my blouse, skirt and a bag of undies in that. I could fit my shoes in my carry-on without much effort, as long as they weren't in a shoebox, so that worked. Hilda did make it clear to Mitch, though, that I would need to have my carry-on and a makeup case with me. He assured her that he would carry whatever the concierge/porter service wouldn't be carrying for us.
I was surprised when, in the late afternoon, the 'Nail Girl' from Renee's salon showed up and redid my finger and toe nails for me, this time in a bright, but dignified crimson. Apparently, Marie had called a Renee when we packing and asked for the girl to do an emergency house call since there was no way we'd have time to get there. "That's a much more fun color for a vacation," Marie said, inspecting the girl's work. "They're eye catching enough to let the other trophy wives know that you're confident, but still fun and young, like you're trying to catch a man's eye.
By dinner time, I was all alone. Marie and Hilda promised to come see me off the next day. I used up the cold cuts in my fridge and made a salad with some sliced turkey in it. I showered and spent an hour drying my hair and preparing for bed, and by eight thirty, I was in bed watching a rerun of Big Bang Theory and doing a crossword puzzle on my new iPad.
My phone rang and I saw that it was Mitch calling me in FaceTime. That was a first!
"Hi," I smiled, strangely happy to have him call me.
"Hi, beautiful," he said with a big grin on his face. "All packed?"
"I am. I'm really sorry, but there's an awful lot of luggage."
"No problem," he shook his head. "If that's what you need, then I'll take care of it."
"Thanks. Oh, my God! I just realized! This is the first time that you've seen me without makeup since I became a girl! Ugh! You shouldn't be seeing me like this!"
Mitch laughed at that. "I'm going to see you without makeup tomorrow night. What difference does it make?"
"Yeah," I giggled, "but that's in real life. This is in bad lighting, bad angles and in high-def! Do I look terrible?"
"You look absolutely amazing! I swear!" He laughed. "I just wanted to check in and see you. I know this is going to sound stupid, but I really missed being with you, today."
I felt a little sad at that. "Yeah. Me too."
We stared at each other long enough to think that maybe our screens had frozen.
"Ok," he said, "I should let you go, I guess. I'm going to be working for a couple of hours in the morning, then I'll go home and get my luggage and stuff. How about I come by in the early afternoon and I'll bring some ham and cheese croissants from Lincoln's. Sound good?"
"Sounds great," I said, "but could you get some for Hilda and Rie? They're coming by to say goodbye around lunch time, too."
"Sure," he smiled and once again, those eyes cut right through me. "I'll see you, then. Good night, Dawn."
"Good night, Mitch," I answered, not wanting the call to end.
"You know I love you, right?" There was something different about the way he said it tonight that I really liked.
"I do. I love you, too."
"Alright," he blew me a kiss through the phone. "See you tomorrow."
The call ended and I spent most of the next nine hours rolling from side to side with a mixture of trepidation about where this trip might lead for Mitch and me, loneliness from not having seen Mitch that day, and excitement about the trip and being able to be with Mitch pretty much nonstop for the next week.
Wednesday morning I got up and used the last of my eggs, my last two pieces of bread and the last of my milk to have breakfast, then dressed in one of my more casual dresses that I planned to wear on the plane. It was a knee length, black cotton dress with bright red and bright blue lines intersecting at seemingly random angles. It buttoned all the way up the front. The cotton was thick and stiff, but very comfortable. I liked it.
Around ten thirty, Hilda and Marie showed up and checked each of my bags, closed them and took them downstairs. Well, truth be told, Hilda was the one who carried the bags downstairs. My makeup case and carry-on were placed near the front door, but away from my other luggage, and the clothes into which I'd be changing on the plane were hung in a dry cleaner bag from my railing waiting to be added to Mitch's garment bag when he arrived.
"That's a lot to take with us," I said looking around. "When Nancy and I flew, we always crammed everything into one big, communal suitcase to avoid paying extra fees."
"The only place that you and Nancy ever flew," Marie pointed out, "was to Disney World to stay at The Pop Century Resort. Two pairs of short, five tee shirts, some socks and underwear doesn't take up a lot of room. What was the fanciest restaurant you ate in while you were there?"
I shrugged. "Usually we just ate at the counter service places. Once we ate at Tappan Eto, the hibachi place at the Japan Pavilion in EPCOT. It was kind of nice."
"Un huh," Marie nodded. "I don't think you're going to see any chefs making volcanos out of a pile of onion slices in Hawaii."
"We had a good time, even though we weren't rich." I pointed out.
"I'm not arguing that," Marie smiled and kissed my cheek, "but you're about to enter a new world. Make the most of it, Donnie. Enjoy it while it lasts."
At that moment, Mitch came in with a bag from Lincoln's Bakery, one of the best bakeries I've ever been to. He kissed my cheek and looked at all the luggage that was piled an waiting.
"Wow!" He laughed. "That's a lot of luggage!"
I put my arm around his torso and he put his on my shoulder. "I know," I said. "I'm sorry."
He kissed the top of my head. "No need to apologize. I'm sure that you'll make good use of all of it." He turned to my sister and her wife and said, "I brought ham and cheese croissants."
Hilda clapped her hands and took the bag from Mitch. "Ach! There is a God!" She hurried to the kitchen and began plating the food.
"Should I bring in my garment bag now, or later?" Mitch asked Marie, knowing that she was, as always, in charge.
"Let's have lunch first, then we can deal with the final preparations and Donnie can get changed."
"Changed?" I asked. "I was going to wear this on the plane."
"No, you're going to wear the light brown, straight skirt dress. That's more distinguished."
"But this is more comfortable," I said, really not wanting to change dresses.
Marie glanced at Mitch. "Mitch, will there be any other people from your firm on this flight?"
"A few," Mitch said. "Most left yesterday or earlier today."
Marie looked at me and smiled. "There may be other trophy wives on the flight, Donnie, so you need to dress to impress. The light brown dress is obviously a Diane von Furstenberg. That will impress the wives, so that's what you'll wear on the flight."
I shrugged in defeat. "Ok, boss. You know best."
"Damn straight," she smiled. "Let's eat."
We sat and chatted about old times and old friends for a couple of hours during which Marie and Hilda each ate two croissants, I ate half of one and Mitch ate three, plus my discarded half. At three o'clock, Marie sent Hilda with me to get changed and she sent Mitch to get his garment bag.
"She's only trying to help you do your best for Mitch, you know," Hilda said. "You don't mind, really, do you? You're not mad, right?"
"No. I don't mind and I'm certainly not mad." I hung up my comfortable, stiff cotton dress and took out the light brown Diane von Furstenberg dress. The dress itself was a fairly plain, sleeveless dress with a pencil skirt and a separate, matching, short jacket. The jacket was what Randall had referred to as an Eisenhower jacket. It barely reached a woman's natural waist. The sleeves bloused a bit making me sure that it would not fit comfortably under the leather coat I was still borrowing from Marie. Man, with everything that we'd bought, why hadn't I bought myself a winter coat!?
Just a side note - I'm pretty darned sure that Dwight David Eisenhower, Supreme Allied Commander In Europe during World War Two and Thirty Fourth President of The United States never wore a jacket as cute as the one I was wearing that day. Just saying.
I buttoned the only two buttons on the jacket, at the waist, and turned and presented myself to Hilda. "What do you think."
She smirked and shook her head. "I hate to admit it, but Marie was right. There's no way that they can see you wearing that and not think that you mean business. They'll know that you are there to do what ever you need to do to help Mitch make partner."
I glanced in the mirror. I definitely looked good. "Should I wear jewelry?"
Hilda shook her head. "No. That would be gilding the lily. You look lovely, just as you are." She kissed my cheek. "Look, Donnie, if you need anything and... well, if you don't think that Marie will understand... call me. Ok?"
I hugged her to thank her, her shoulder pressing into my cheek. "Thank you, Hilda. Thank you for everything."
She nodded. "Take good care of yourself."
Before we knew it, a big, black town car was in front of my house. Mitch and the driver loaded up all the luggage and an hour and a half after I kissed my sister and sister in law goodbye, we were unloading it all at Logan Airport in Boston. We had pulled up in front of the Hawaiian Airlines concierge area. A porter helped our driver unload all of the luggage and loaded it onto a cart while Mitch checked us in. I carried my makeup case and my ludicrously over priced hand bag while Mitch negotiated both carry-ons and the garment bag.
I was a little concerned with getting through the TSA security gates, but my license was legit, so we walked right through and headed to the Hawaiian Airlines VIP Lounge. Along the way, a porter from the airline spotted Mitch and took one carry-on and the garment bag for him, lightening his load.
The buffet in the VIP Lounge was unbelievable. Hawaiian specialties as well as pretty much any other food that you've ever heard of! I wished I could have eaten more, but I was content with the little bit that I was able to enjoy.
After dinner, we sat in the VIP Lounge's bar area and watched planes take off and land on the runways through the wall of windows. Mitch went to the bar and got himself his usual Sam Adams and brought me a sangria. I'd never tasted the fruity, mixed wine drink before, but I really liked it and I particularly liked the fact that it didn't taste like wine, or like any alcohol at all, really. It was a bit like Hawaiian Punch with a little kick to it.
As I sat and sipped and began to relax a bit, I felt a hand touch my shoulder from behind and someone's cheek was suddenly pressed against mine. "There she is! Are you excited to finally be going on your trip?" The unseen person kissed my cheek, then moved around my chair and sat in the one opposite me.
"Jodi," I smiled and reached out my right hand to squeeze her left. "Mitch, you remember Jodi Elliot from the restaurant the other night."
"Yes, of course, I know Jodi well," Mitch stood, then bent to kiss Jodi's cheek. You know, I've known Mitch pretty much my whole life, and in any social situation, he is always the guy with the goofy smile that tells a good story. He was never the 'social butterfly' kind of guy, but when he was in a work situation, he was a different person. Strong and confident and he always knew how to smile in just the right way so as to make the person to whom he was speaking smile back. "How are you, Jodi? Are you you all set for a week in paradise?"
She waved his remark off. "Oh, I like Hawaii just fine, but if I want paradise, then the French Riviera is where I'd be headed. And as for a week, well that's hardly enough time to unpack, am I right, Dawn, dear? I had hoped to have left the day before yesterday with Oscar and Beverly, but... you know Bob! He just has to deal with every little problem himself! Look at him over there, trying to find me. Honestly, he's so absent minded when he's not in the office. Bob! Bob! Over here, dear. Look, I've found Mitch and Dawn!"
Bob Elliot came over with glass of some sort of brown liquor for himself and a champagne flute for his wife and sat down in the chair beside her. "Greetings, all," he said as he huffed and puffed his pudgy sixtysomething body into the seat. "It looks as if we're going to be taking off before the snow comes in. Good thing, too, I'm not a fan of flying in bad weather."
"Or good weather, either," Jodi teased in a very posh manner. She leaned over and touched my knee, "Robert just HATES anything that takes him away from the office. He's quite the workaholic. See that Mitch never gets that way, dear. It makes a man quite boring."
"Nice of you to say, dear," Mr Elliot said, jokingly, but I got a sense that this was a bit of a sore spot between husband and wife. "So, Dawn, Jodi tells me that you and our Mitchell here have known each other quite some time."
Really? My relationship with Mitch was actually a topic of conversation at the Elliot house? Why? "Oh, yes. Mitch and I grew up together. We went to all the same schools, right through college. Then Mitch went off to Suffolk and then Harvard for his law degrees."
"And then came back to you, huh?" He gave a phlegmy cough at that. "Childhood sweethearts reunited."
"No, no," Mitch laughed and sipped his beer. "We were just buddies until recently, when we started dating."
"Buddies?" Jodi said, dubiously. "A tall handsome man and a beautiful woman are never going to be buddies, Mitch. I bet there was always some kind of a spark there."
Mitch took my hand and squeezed it. "Maybe. I don't know, Jodi. Maybe we were just too young and stupid to see it, but we're very happy that we eventually found a way to be together, right Donnie?"
I blanched when Mitch used my real name, but it didn't seem to matter because Jodi seemed to love it. "Donnie! Oh, how sweet is that, Bob? Oh, and it fits you so nicely. You have that kind of 'free and easy' way about you and Dawn is such a stuffy name. 'Donnie,' yes, I just think that's so adorable!"
I just smiled. How do you respond to something like that?
The announcement came that it was time to prepare to board the plane. First class passengers in rows A through F were called to board first. "Well," Mitch stood, "That's us!"
He offered me his hand which I took and stood. Jodi stood, too, and made a big show of kissing both of my cheeks. "Aloha, my dear." And before we could leave she said, "Oh, good God, Donnie, that dress is just divine! The two of you are just a picture! Mitch, you look so handsome in that sweater and tie, and Donnie in that perfect, traveling ensemble! Most people you see on these flights are wearing sweat pants or dirty old shorts. It's disgusting. Oh, well, you should go, now! We'll talk more on the plane."
"Oh, that will be wonderful," I smiled. We walked to the door where the porter who'd been keeping an eye on our luggage, handed me my makeup case and then helped Mitch carry the other bags to the plane. Because we had had our tickets scanned when we entered the lounge, we just walked right onto the plane and took our seats - Row C, seats F and G, on the right hand side of the plane. It was a big plane, too. Two seats on the left side, three in the middle and two on the right in the first class compartment. I did notice that in the economy class section of the plane, there were three seats on either side and five in the middle. Normally, that's where I would have been flying, if I'd ever been able to afford a flight to Hawaii, but I was very grateful to be enjoying the spaciousness of the high end accommodations.
There was ample overhead space for our carry-ons, garment bag and makeup case and the seats were enormous! Even six foot two inch Mitch had plenty of leg room.
"Wow," I said quietly to Mitch as I sat crosslegged in the wide, comfortable seat and swiveled it from side to side, "class-eeee."
He chuckled, "Yep. Only the best for my girl." He squeezed my knee.
It took about a half an hour to get everyone on the plane, then another twenty minutes or so taxiing to the runways and waiting for takeoff and then, finally, we were in the air. I know that this is foolish, because we all know how an airplane works, but I have always found flight miraculous! The feeling of leaving the ground excites me in a very visceral way and then looking down at the ground as we soar above it is something I have never grown tired of.
We leveled off and the flight became smooth. Mitch pulled out his iPad and began reviewing some paperwork.
"I thought you were on vacation," I teased.
"No, YOU'RE on vacation. I'm on an work retreat." He laughed. "Actually, I only have a couple of things to take care of and then I'll be done with paperwork for the week. I'll leave it till later, if you'd rather talk." He closed the cover of his iPad and took my hand. "Are you excited?"
I smiled, "Actually, yes. Now that we're on the way, I'm really excited. I think I'll be ok with the others wives. I mean, I did ok with Jodi, just now and with her and Bev at O'Connor's the other night. As long as I stick with my own life story and don't make up a lot of lies, everything seems to go smoothly."
Mitch squeezed my hand, reassuringly. "I think Jodi likes you."
I laughed at that. "She's ok, I guess, but... how old is she, like thirty five? Thirty six? Bob has to be thirty years older than her!"
Mitch shrugged. "That's kind of a rich man's issue, you know? They spend their twenties and thirties building their business and their fortunes and by the time they're in their forties, their marriages are falling apart. Divorced and alone in their fifties, they find a young woman looking for a leg up to a better life... Honestly, I think that Jodi and Bob love each other more than most of the autumn/spring relationships I see among my colleagues. They tease each other a lot, but they seem pretty happy."
I took a deep breath. "Wow. So, I'm not just joining The Trophy Wives' Club, I'm joining The Second Wives' Club?"
Mitch laughed. "Not all of them, but... there are plenty."
I shook my head. "That's awful."
Mitch patted my hand. "Don't worry, Donnie. I'll never divorce you." He laughed and I pushed his hand off of mine.
"You had better not, mister! Argh! Men!"
As we laughed, Jodi suddenly appeared in the aisle beside Mitch. "How are you two kids doing up here?" She asked.
Mitch was still laughing. "We're good, Jodi. How about you?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," she smirked, "Bob is boring me to tears going over paperwork on his iPad and ignoring me. Honest to goodness, this whole Rand case needs to end. I am tired of being ignored." She did giggle at that, so I assumed that she understood the situation.
Mitch laughed. "That's funny, because I was starting to do some work on the Rand case, too, but Dawn made me put it way."
"Oh, Mitchell, PLEASE do me a favor!" Jodi was being overly theatrical. "Please, please, PLEASE, go back there and help Bob get through this paperwork. If you help him, he can talk through it and he'll be done in a few hours. Otherwise, I'll be listening to his hemming and hawing all week!"
Mitch looked at me and rolled his eyes. "Do you mind? If I do the work with Bob, I'll probably get it done pretty quickly. Then it'll be done and I'll be free to focus on you."
What I wanted to say was, 'No! Don't go! I did all of this for you and now I just want to be with you! Stay with me, Mitch! Don't leave me alone with Jodi!'
But what I said was, "No, I don't mind at all. I'll be fine, here with Jodi."
"Thanks," he said, then leaned over and gave me a kiss. "I won't be too long."
He was gone about ninety minutes, which wasn't long, but it did seem much longer. Jodi was fine, but she got to be a bit much. She was rather nosy, but I think she was just making conversation.
"So, tell me about yourself, dear," she said. "How did you become an artist?"
I told her how I was a reasonably good artist in high school and then found that I could do creative things on a computer, so while I was in college I found that graphic artistry called to me. I enjoyed it and when I found that I could make a living at it, I stuck with it.
"How interesting," she said, implying more excitement than my story warranted. "Would I have ever seen any of your work?"
"More than likely," I said, with a bit of pride. "If you ever saw a city bus with advertising decals covering it, you know, the kind that cover it from front to back with huge graphics on it, that was more than likely my design."
"Oh, lord, how dreadful!" Jodi twittered, crushing me a bit. She must have noticed that I was hurt, because she immediately back pedaled. "Oh, no, dear, I don't mean that your work was dreadful, I just mean... well... to go through all that work to become an artist and then have your work displayed on a dirty, old city bus... well, I'm sorry, dear. I shouldn't have been so judgmental. I imagine it paid well, though?"
I shrugged. "It paid pretty well."
"How well?"
That seemed awfully personal. In fact, I had been paid ok for the work I had done. After eight years with the company, I was making about fifty five thousand dollars a year - nothing to be ashamed of, right? But I was ashamed at that moment, so I lied and said, "I made about seventy thousand a year."
"Oh," Jodi puffed the word as if she was choking back a laugh. "Well, that's better than a paper route, I suppose, but... may I offer you a little advice?"
"Of course," I said, growing a little cold to this woman's opinions.
She looked me straight in the eye. "Donnie, I see how Mitch looks at you. That boy is bat-shit-crazy in love with you and wants to marry you. I mean, let's face it, someone who USED TO MAKE seventy thousand dollars wouldn't be able to dress as well as you do without Mitch's support, right? Anyway, my advice to you is - Don't let that boy get away from you. He wants to marry you and, trust me, you want the life that he can provide. Use this week to make sure that he knows that you're ready to settle down and become a wife and maybe even a mommy. If you let him get away, you will regret it."
I felt a warmth rush over me. When Mitch looked at me, I could see that he felt new and different feelings for me, but... a wife and mommy!? Those two words directed at me shook me to the core. That wasn't going to happen. I knew that Jodi's advice had a mercenary quality to it - find a sugar daddy and live off of him - but she was definitely being sincere. I needed to respond in kind.
I sighed and shook my head. "I just don't know, Jodi. I'm not sure that I'm ready for marriage."
"Ok," she shook her head, "but I think you need to figure that out pretty soon, because I think that Mitch might be."
As we continued to talk, a hostess came along and handed us two pairs of pajamas, one for me and one for Mitch. Jodi asked for hers as well and the hostess found them and gave them to her. Jodi looked about and saw that no one had headed for the three changing rooms to get ready for bed. "Come on," she smiled, "let's get into our pjs before there's a line."
We stood, I grabbed my makeup case from the overhead and we walked to the front of the plane where the changing rooms were located. I had never been in a first class restroom before and it was a revelation! It was almost the size of my master bath at home, and it had no bath tub, so there was room for several people to get changed comfortably in that space.
I opened the door and marveled at the space and cleanliness, especially in comparison to the airplane restrooms to which I was accustomed. "Wow," I said to Jodi as I stepped in, assuming that she was going into another room, but when she responded, she was in the room with me, locking the door behind her.
"First time in first class, Donnie? Well, get used to it. As long as you're with Mitch, I guarantee that you'll be in first class all the time. Unzip me, will you?" Jodi turned her back to me and expected me to help her to undress!
"Oh... um..." I sputtered, ".... Are we doing this together?"
She turned and looked at me. "Well, why not? There's no need to take up two rooms when there's plenty of room in here for both of us." She turned her back to me, again.
"Oh... ok," I was truly dumbfounded. It was bad enough when Marie suddenly stripped in front of me, but Jodi? What the heck could I do? I lowered her zipper and then helped her to step out of her lovely, casual, dress.
She was wearing sheer pantyhose that rode up nearly to the underside of her breasts. An odd fit, I thought.
"Oh, now you know my deepest, darkest secret," she smiled. "Control top pantyhose. Sadly, I've eaten too much lobster dipped in butter over the years. I need to do something about that this year. Either start exercising or get a tummy tuck or a little liposuction." She pulled down her stockings and stood, gripping a very slight ring of extra fat around her middle in her hands. "What do you think? Lipo should take care of this, don't you think?"
I answered honestly. "I don't know."
She looked at me, still wearing my brown ensemble, and smiled an oddly judgmental smile. "No, I don't suppose you do, do you? But you will my dear. I'll be forty in six months. Liposuction is a part of my life, now. Do you do yoga or Zumba or anything like that? If not, you'll be wearing control top clothing in a few years, too."
Ok. Warning heeded. I needed to get my flabby ass to a gym. Look where being flabby had gotten me so far!
"Jodi," I said sincerely, "I would never have guessed you were forty. I would have guessed mid thirties at the most."
Jodi smiled. "Thank you, dear. How old are you?"
"Thirty one," I answered.
"Really!?" she said surprised. "I have a step daughter the exact same age."
Ok, what must it have been like for that girl to have grown up with a step mom that was only nine years older than her. It must have been weird!
"Undo my bra, too, please," Jodi asked. What was this, some kind of bizarre initiation into The Trophy Wives' Club or was Jodi just this comfortable with other woman and her own body? Because, let me tell you, I was not comfortable at all!
I undid her bra and I was grateful that she didn't didn't turn to face me until she had her pajama top on - not buttoned, but on. "Aren't you going to change?" She asked me, looking shocked that I hadn't started to strip. "Here. Take off your jacket and turn around and I'll unzip you."
Once my jacket was off and my zipper was down, I stepped out of my dress and then decided to try to find a way to not take my bra off in front of Jodi. See, even though my breasts were very well defined, my nipples were quite small. One might say - 'man-ish.' I wasn't sure that she should see them. Not a problem a lot of you have had, I know, but it was a genuine concern for me at that moment!
So, I grabbed my makeup case and pulled out my makeup remover and started in on my face. Jodi came to the countertop as well and asked if she might borrow some remover. Of course she could. Hilda had provided me with gallons, so I said 'of course' and we both cleaned our faces, Jodi in her pjs and me in my undies.
I caught Jodi glancing at me in the mirror and she smiled. "What?" I asked, afraid she'd spotted something.
"I was just noticing that even your lingerie is elegant and expensive. Mitch must dress you completely. I must say, he has lovely taste."
I laughed. "Mitch has never seen these. I admit, he paid for them, but my twin sister picked them out."
"Twins!?" she said, excitedly in a way that I had heard my whole life! Other people seem fascinated with the idea of twins and triplets, etc. "Are you identical?"
I shook my head as I continued to use the makeup remover on my face. "Not in the least. She's dark haired, slightly darker skin and a real beauty. I'm not even in her league."
Jodi dropped her hands to her side and looked at me, shocked. "Oh, my God, Dawn, how can you say that!? Look at you! You're gorgeous!"
To prove this point, she grabbed my right arm and turned me towards her, then grabbed my left arm as well and spread them wide, leaving me very exposed.
Now, a little side note about the underwear I was wearing. It was sheer. Very sheer. Diaphanous, one might even say. My nipples were barely covered by a lace inset in my nearly see through bra and on my panties, the same kind of lace barely covered where one might expect my hoo-hoo to be! So, although I was essentially clothed, I was, in reality, as naked as a burlesque dancer.
"I don't care how beautiful your sister is, there is no way that she's as beautiful as you are." Jodi declared. I thought it was odd that the same woman who had demeaned my artistic achievements and my massively inflated income level just a few minutes ago, was now trying to build up my self esteem, but I guess that everyone has their own sense of what's important in life.
I blushed and smiled as much as I could, feeling that exposed. "Thank you, Jodi. That's very sweet of you."
"Imagine someone who looks like you thinking anyone else is better looking! That's ridiculous!" As she was speaking, Jodi was also appraising my body to a level that made me very uncomfortable. I was about to tell her how uncomfortable I was when she spotted something and smiled. "Has Mitch seen that?" She asked.
Uncertain of her meaning, I followed her gaze to the front of my panties where, as clear as day, my little heart shaped patch of pubic hair was visible through the see through material of my undies.
"Oh, my God!" I gasped as I jerked my hands free and turned away, using the counter top to hide the ornamentation.
"Oh, stop it." Jodi waved away my shyness. "I think it's adorable." She went back to cleansing her face, but a knowing smile remained. "Well? Has Mitch seen it?"
I shook my head. "No. Not yet." God, how humiliating. The funny thing was, though, Jodi was completely unfazed by it. She thought the heart was adorable and was happy that she saw it. As if it was something that women should share with each other in a sisterly way. I have to say, she was not like any other woman I ever met, but she definitely seemed very comfortable in her social role.
"Well, don't worry." She smiled as she finished removing her makeup. "I won't tell him. I'll let you surprise him, but you have to tell me what he says when he sees it."
"Ok," I agreed.
I finished my cleaning regime and had no choice but to put on my pajamas. I pulled them from their plastic bag and found that they were, in fact, real silk, not nylon. I pulled the pants on as Jodi complained that Bob would never spring for silk pajamas just for a plane ride. Then I turned my back to the mirror and to Jodi and undid my bra, slipping on the pajama top as quickly as I could.
When we exited the dressing room, as Jodi has predicted, there was a line of people waiting to get into the rooms to change. When I reached my seat, I was relieved to see that Mitch was sitting there, waiting.
"Oh, hi!" He grinned. "I thought that maybe you two had gotten off of the plane."
He stood so that I could get into my seat, then said goodnight to Jodi, who wished him a goodnight as well, then, as she departed said, "Oh, and Mitch... Happy Valentines Day." Then she smiled at me and walked away.
Mitch sat and looked confused. "What was that all about?"
I looked at him and sputtered. She'd just told me that she wouldn't tell him about my heart shaped patch of pubic hair, and then she'd said that! I looked down the aisle where Jodi was walking away, but looking back at me with a mischievous smile on her face. Finally, I got out, "I... I have no idea."
Sleeping on a plane is always tough for me. I hate those neck pillows, so my head always rolls to the side and I wake up with a stiff neck and my sinuses feel terrible from the air conditioning hitting me in the face, but that was my experience sleeping in economy class - That was not how sleeping in first class was. The first class chairs folded flat and sat at an angle so that you didn't hit the people behind you. Before Mitch was even changed, I was sprawled comfortably on my 'bed' with a warm blanket and a comfy pillow. I had my iPad out and after I sent a few texts to Marie and Hilda, briefly relating my changing experience with Jodi, something that they found very amusing, by the way, I had turned on a movie to watch. Originally, I saw that a fairly recent James Bond movie was on Netflix and I was going to watch that, but then I figured that might look odd. So, I settled on a recent version of Louisa May Alcott's 'Little Women.' It really doesn't matter what sex you are, if you grow up in central New England, you know the story of 'Little Woman' and you've seen at least one film version of it at some point.I was actually enjoying this new version, though, but somehow, I drifted off to sleep before Mitch returned from changing.
I woke when he took the iPad from me and slipped it back into my carry-on bag. "Sorry," he smiled. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"That's ok." I smiled. "I'm sorry I fell asleep. I was just exhausted. I didn't sleep much last night."
Mitch leaned over me and looked me in the eyes. God, those blue eyes of his! Now that I'd noticed them, I couldn't stop thinking about them. He pushed a few stray hairs from my face and asked if I needed anything. I didn't, so he leaned down and kissed me. Then he whispered in my ear, "According to Bob, Jodi thinks that you and I need to get married ASAP."
I chuckled. "She mentioned that about fifty times."
"If only, huh?" Mitch said as he sat up straight, then said, "I love you," laid down and rolled onto his left side, facing away from me.
'If only!?!?' What the hell did he mean by that!? I wanted to explore that statement with him, but too many people would be able to overhear if I tried. 'If only!?!?' I was sure that those two words were going to keep me awake all night, that I'd not sleep a wink, but within a few minutes, the sound of the plane's engine lulled me to sleep and I didn't stir at all until the next morning.
When I awoke, Mitch was already dressed in a very smart looking button down shirt and pair of khakis, watching a network news show on his iPad.
"What time is it?" I asked.
He looked at the clock on his iPad. "Nearly ten o'clock Boston time. Nearly four Hawaii time."
"Four in the morning?" I asked as I sat up and saw that nearly everyone else was dressed. "What time do we land?"
"About five thirty or six, Hawaii time," he said casually.
Suddenly, I was in a great rush.
"What's the matter?" He laughed.
"I only have an hour and a half to get ready!" I said in an emphatic, but rushed voice.
He laughed harder. "Relax. You have plenty of time."
Suddenly, I was a bit angrier than I should have been and I snapped at him. "You're a man. You have no idea how long it takes for me to look good for you!" I grunted as I grabbed his garment bag, my cosmetics bag and the shoes from my carry-on. "Ninety minutes! Are you crazy!? You should have woken me up an hour ago!" As I stormed off, I heard the man seated behind us laugh and say to Mitch, "Don't worry, son. After a few years of marriage, you'll figure her out."
Argh! The nerve of these people! I had a lot of work to do and very little time to do it. When I reached the changing rooms, no one was waiting, but all the rooms were taken. I bounced on my bare feet, anxious and chilly.
Finally, a door open and who do you suppose came out? Jodi, of course! "Good morning," she beamed at me. "You certainly looked like you were sleeping soundly when I went by."
I couldn't hide my irritation. "I know. Mitch should have woken me a long time ago. I need to get ready."
"Oh." Jodi seemed thrilled. "I'll help you."
"No, no," I said, getting a hold of my irritated attitude. "I'll be fine. Besides, I need to use the lav and everything... I'll be done in time. Thank you, though."
Jodi nodded. "Of course. Go right ahead. I'll see you after we land."
Thank God! I did need to pee, but there were other things I needed to do, too. Not what you're thinking, though - come on! I needed to remove the tape on my penis and redo those restrains. I'd never slept with my shaft confined before and I certainly didn't want to go an entire day with it wrapped up in binding that had absorbed my sweat all day and all night.
I had everything I needed in my makeup bag. I worked quickly and within about forty five minutes, I was re-bound, wearing clean underwear, my makeup was on and my hair was brushed. Now, I just needed to get dressed.
I pulled out the outfit that was set aside for the day. It included a full slip that hung to mid thigh. The bodice of the slip was heavily decorated with lace because the blouse I was to wear was very light and the slip could be seen through material.
Let me explain this ensemble carefully, because a lot of thought on both Marie and Randall's part went into what I should wear to arrive in Hawaii.
First, the blouse: It was a very thin satin, as I mentioned, bright white and had small shoulder pads built in. The collar was about three inches high, one button with a keyhole opening in the front and two long, three inch wide straps of silk that tied into a loose, floppy, feminine bow. The long sleeves - long sleeves in Hawaii? Yes, because we'd be arriving in the morning before dawn and this blouse was not, under any circumstances to be covered by a jacket - had full, blousing sleeves that ended in long, mock-French-style-cuffs. It was a remarkably beautiful and elegant top that could never possibly be eclipsed by any other article of clothing, except for the amazing skirt into which it was going to be tucked.
The skirt: It was made of a gold, jacquard material with an amazing pattern of gold flowers woven into the silk. The buttoned waist hugged my torso snugly and then the material hung moderately stiffly in the classic 'A' line pattern. I know I've described several skirts as 'A' line, but that's the style that Marie and Randall chose for me because the shape of the skirt hid my boyish hips, but, to tell you the truth, I kind of loved how I looked, how they made me feel and to call them 'classically feminine' was a gross understatement.
To complete the look, I had a pair of gold, four inch, spiked heels that stretched out my body to look long and elegant. When I looked in the mirror, I can't say that I liked the look because I adored it! I packed everything away and organized how I was going to carry it all, took a deep breath and opened the door and stepped out with a calm that I had lacked when I'd hurried through the plane in a huff an hour earlier.
Let me tell you, the effort was worth it, because I heard actual gasps as I walked through the plane. Several ladies stopped me to tell me how beautiful I looked and the look on Mitch's face made it all worthwhile! He stood, his jaw actually hanging slack in amazement. I handed him the luggage to put back in the overhead as I waited in the aisle with women actually getting up out of their seats to come tell me how good I looked.
Think about that. How would that make you feel? A week ago, I was a skinny and mostly ignored guy who now was receiving compliment after compliment because I looked so unusually beautiful. I'll tell you how it made me feel - it made me feel special in a way that I have never felt in my entire life.
As Mitch finished stowing the carry-on luggage, Jodi appeared with her eyes wide and a huge smile on her face. "Well, well, well," she shook her head, "if your intention is to impress the wives, Donnie, then, believe me, you will succeed." Then she looked at Mitch as she patted my back, "My God, Mitch, what is it going to take for you to marry this woman? Look at her! I mean, my God! I didn't look this good on my wedding day!"
The man and his wife who sat behind us joined in encouraging Mitch to make an honest woman of me. I just stood and smiled as prettily as I could. To be honest, I loved this situation. Mitch was the one who felt uncomfortable for a change!
Finally, I was allowed to scoot past Mitch and sit in my seat, which had been converted back into a seat while I'd been dressing. Mitch sat and stared at me. Finally he said, "Jesus Christ, Donnie, is this how you're going to be dressing all week?"
I misinterpreted his remark as criticism and said, "You don't like it?"
"Don't like..." he started in amazement, "... are you kidding!? I'm in shock! You've looked great all week, but... this is... this is above and beyond! I never imagined..."
I smiled and patted his leg. "Ok, Mitch, calm down, I get it. You like how I look."
He took a breath. "That doesn't even come close to describing it Donnie, but we'll settle on that." He touched my skirt and felt the the material. "Is this a little itchy to wear?"
I giggled. "No, Mitch. I'm wearing a slip underneath. The slip is very soft."
"Huh," Mitch muttered, seeming to have never considered the material of a woman's slip before.
The plane began its descent pretty quickly and before we knew it, we were on the ground and walking through the airport till we came to a man in a black suit carrying a sign with Mitch's name on it. He took my makeup bag from me and led us to another beautiful town car. We didn't have to worry about our luggage. The airline and the resort had an agreement and our luggage would be forwarded to our suite within an hour or so.
It took a good long while to reach the resort, but there was plenty of scenery to take in along the way. The sun was just coming up and it was turning the water a bright orange and the hillsides reflected that beautiful color as well. I wasn't all that well traveled, of course, but I couldn't imagine that a more beautiful sight existed anywhere in the world.
Then we pulled into the resort and, well... the pictures I'd seen did not do the place justice. Everything about it was amazing! Everywhere I looked I saw palm trees and white sand and hibiscus... I was truly in awe of the place.
We were dropped off at the main entrance . The driver bent over backwards to run around to my side of the car to help me out. Mitch checked us in and the clerk told us that there was a breakfast setting for his firm in the Kauai Ballroom, but that it didn't open for another half an hour. She did offer us the opportunity freshen up in our suite if we desired, but we both agreed that we were fine until our luggage showed up. So, we headed out to the grounds of the resort and we walked about, hand in hand, taking in the beauty of the place.
"Wait until 'the wives' get a look at you." Mitch smiled as we walked. "They adored Dawn at the Halloween party when she was dressed as dumpy, old Velma from Scooby Doo. You are going to be the talk of the office for years, Donnie! Thank you for all of this."
I smiled. "It was your money, Mitch. I'm glad it's making you happy." Then I sensed an insult in there and said, "And Velma was not 'dumpy.' She was just uncomfortable with her beauty."
We stopped walking and he stepped in front of me, looking down into my face. "What really makes me happy is that we're sharing this whole thing together, Donnie. I know this is... unorthodox, and I really felt terrible to ask you to do all of this, but I can tell you're enjoying it almost as much as I am. Thank you."
Before I could answer, he planted a wonderfully warm kiss on my lips. And then there was that feeling, all over again. It wasn't just a feeling of affection, it was feeling of longing. Of needing. I hated it when the kiss ended. I'd lived thirty one years as a man and never once felt anything like this, but as a woman, I was feeling it every time Mitch kissed me. I found it exciting and romantic and scary as hell.
"They'll be serving breakfast in ten minutes," Mitch said, looking at his watch. "I need to use the men's room. Do you need to 'powder your nose?"
I smiled. "No, but I'd like to send a couple of pictures to Marie and Hilda, if that's ok."
"Sure."
Mitch led me back to the lobby and offered me a luxurious chair on the veranda that looked down the hill to the beautiful, blue ocean below. I kissed Mitch goodbye and sat down, selected a few pictures I'd taken with my phone and began writing a text to Marie and Hilda.
HI. HAD A GREAT FLIGHT. SO FAR EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT. MY SILK BLOUSE AND GOLD SKIRT WERE THE HIT OF THE AIR PLANE. THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE FIRM AND HIS WIFE WERE ON THE FLIGHT, TOO, AND HIS WIFE AND I BECAME VERY CLOSE FRIENDS. MITCH IS THRILLED, SO ALL IS WELL! LOVE YOU! I'LL SEND MORE PICTURES SOON.
I sat on the edge of the chair with my legs crossed at the knees, in that beautiful scene, knowing that I looked great and that I was going to win over the wives. Honestly, as I typed my text back to New England, I don't think I'd ever been happier in my life.
"Excuse me," a woman said as she came up beside my chair.
I said, "Yes?" But didn't immediately look up because I was finishing my text. I did smile, though, and half turned to her so she knew that I was not ignoring her.
"I'm sorry, but I believe I know you," she said.
I turned to meet her gaze, expecting to see a face that I'd seen at Halloween, but I didn't.
The woman gasped. "Donnie!??"
I couldn't even breath for a moment, but finally I was able to choke out her name. "Nancy?"
To Be Continued...
Hawaiian Retreat - 4
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Author's Note: Please consider leaving a review? I learn a lot from your remarks. ~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 4 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 4
I sat on the edge of the chair with my legs crossed at the knees, in that beautiful scene, knowing that I looked great and that I was going to win over the wives. Honestly, as I typed my text back to New England, I don't think I'd ever been happier in my life.
"Excuse me," a woman said as she came up beside my chair.
I said, "Yes?" But didn't immediately look up because I was finishing my text. I did smile, though, and half turned to her so she knew that I was not ignoring her.
"I'm sorry, but I believe I know you," she said.
I turned to meet her gaze, expecting to see a face that I'd seen at Halloween, but I didn't.
The woman gasped. "Donnie!??"
I couldn't even breath for a moment, but finally I was able to choke out her name. "Nancy?"
"Donnie! What the hell!?!?" Nancy was shocked.
"Shh, shh, shh." I stood and tried to quiet her. "Nancy, please, quiet down!"
She stared at me, amazed and horrified. Gradually, she caught her breath, looked about and saw no one nearby, so she asked, "Wha... What are you doing here and why are you dressed like that?"
I pulled her to the side, out of the view of the main lobby. "Nancy... I... I'm helping Mitch... it's a long story, but... please, please, please don't tell anyone, please!"
Nancy blinked to get her wits about her, shook her head and sat down in an empty chair. "Donnie..." she thought and searched for her words. "... How?... Why? ... I don't understand this. You look... Donnie... what have you done to yourself?"
I sat in the chair next to her and huffed and puffed in frustration as I tried to put everything into words. "Ok... look... I didn't do anything... permanent... to myself. I just lost a lot of weight after you ran out on me... oh, geez, Nancy, it's a long story. I can't really say anything right now. Someone might hear. Can we meet later? After breakfast, maybe? I swear, I'll tell you everything." Then it suddenly occurred to me that we were thousands of miles from New England. "Wait! What are you doing here."
"Oh," Nancy sighed. "Look, Donnie... I don't know if Marie told you, but... well... I met a guy and he... he proposed and, well, we're getting married this summer."
I nodded. "Oh... yeah... Hilda told me, actually. Congratulations, I guess... but... why are you here... in Hawaii?"
Nancy shook her head, not happy to be having this very confusing conversation before breakfast. "Craig... my... um... fiancé... well he's an accountant and he works for the same firm as Mitch." She shook her head. "I expected that I might run into Mitch while we were here, but, Donnie... holy God, Donnie... I never expected this."
I sighed. "I know, but... please don't tell anyone - not even Craig, please! Not until I've had a chance to explain."
She shook her head and stood. "Alright," she said with a huge amount of aggravation in her voice, "but this better be one hell of a good story." She shook her head again, obviously disgusted. "Look, Donnie... I gotta get back to Craig, but... look, I didn't 'run out on you.' I tried to work things out with you, but you... oh, never mind. If you want to paint me as the villain to rationalize what happened, fine, but I left because we just weren't working any more. Not because I didn't love you anymore - I did - I do... just... not like that, anymore. So... oh... whatever. Look, the guys have a meeting after breakfast. Where can we meet?"
I shrugged. "How about my room?"
Nancy nodded. "Ok. What room number?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. We just got here. I'll text you."
Just then a man appeared. He was looking around for something. "Nancy!" He called. "Is everything ok? You've been gone for quite a while."
Nancy looked at the man and said, "I'm sorry, Craig. I'll be right there." Then she turned to me and shook her head once more. "Send me a text."
Then she walked to the man who asked, "Who's that?"
Nancy glanced back at me and said quietly, but I heard her, anyway. "She's... she's someone I knew a long time ago."
They were gone a few moments before Mitch appeared and he was agitated. I wasn't where he left me, so he looked about in a panic. He spotted me and hurried over. "Donnie... Donnie, we have a big problem..."
I nodded. "Nancy? Yeah, I know."
He gave me a double take. "She saw you? Did she recognize you?"
I guffawed at that. "Of course she recognized me, Mitch. She's known me as long as you have."
He put his hands on his hips and thought for a moment. "Did you talk to her?"
I nodded.
"Is she going to tell anyone?"
I shook my head. "Not for the time being. She said that the men have a meeting after breakfast, so she's going to come to our room and we're going to talk?"
He nodded. "What are you going to tell her?"
I stood and straightened my skirt. "The truth, Mitch. What else can I tell her?"
"Do you think she'll tell any one?"
I shrugged and put my arm through his. "I don't think so, but if she does, then we make me out to be the bad guy who fooled you and took you for several thousand dollars of clothing. If everything falls apart... I'll be the bad guy. Ok? This is all about making you look good to the partners. Let's stay focused on that."
Mitch nodded. "Ok, but... Well, we're in this together, Donnie. Let's just hope she's going to be cool about it."
I nodded and leaned my head on his chest. "Kiss me," I said.
He looked at me, surprised.
"Come on, kiss me," I repeated.
He gave me a peck on my lips, but I grabbed him by the back of the head and planted a good, long kiss onto him. When that one ended, he kissed me back and, as with all of his previous kissed, that one melted me. I looked up into those beautiful blue eyes and smiled. "Tell me you love me."
He smiled. "I love you."
I smiled back. "Do you like how I look?"
"You're the most beautiful woman here." He smiled even more broadly and kissed me, again.
"Then we'll be fine." I hugged him as tightly as I could and he hugged me back.
"Come on, you two!" Jodi's voice called from the end of the veranda. "Breakfast is ready. You two must be starved. I know that I am."
I turned in Mitch's arms and we both waved. "Here we go!" Mitch said through a fixed smile and we joined my new best friend and headed into the buffet.
We met up with Bob Elliot, Jodi's husband, in the lobby and headed into the ballroom where the buffet was set up. Bob immediately began talking shop with Mitch, so that left Jodi and me to chat.
"Are you nervous?" Jodi asked as we walked. "You don't seem as excited as you did on the plane."
I forced a smile and said, "Oh... yes, I guess I am. I want to make a good impression."
Suddenly, Jodi stopped walking, looked at me, but spoke to her husband. "Bob, you and Mitch go ahead in and save us some seats. We'll be in in a minute."
The men stopped and both turned to look at us. "Is everything ok?" Mitch asked, knowing that everything was far from ok.
Jodi never took her eyes from mine. "Everything is fine. We'll be right along."
When the men left us, Jodi finally spoke to me. "Did that woman say something to you that upset you?"
I blinked. "That woman? You mean Nancy?"
Jodi pursed her lips and shook her head. "Is that her name? I know that she's engaged to one of the accountants, but that's all. Did she upset you in some way?"
I took a deep breath and shook out all of my nerves. "No, Jodi, but thank you for your concern."
"You know her, though, don't you?" Why was it so important to Jodi to dig into every aspect of my life? I didn't know, but I knew that I was there to help Mitch and alienating the wife of his firm's Vice President would not help him at all.
"I do, yes," I admitted. "We were friends, once... I suppose we still are, but... we had a falling out a while ago. I was just surprised to see her."
Jodi nodded and patted my cheek. "I'm sorry, dear. This should be a triumphant week for you. A romantic week with Mitch and a chance to establish yourself with the wives. I can talk to Beverly and some of the others to ensure that you don't have to deal with that woman."
I smiled at Jodi as I considered the situation. I had obviously never understood how the world of rich people, let alone rich women worked. The phrase, 'behind every great man is a great woman pushing him to succeed,' was obviously based in truth. I'd only really met two of these wives, Jodi and Bev, but it was clear that they took their roles as support staff for their husbands very seriously. If I was going to help Mitch, I needed to be accepted by them - BUT - I also had the reality of my own life to consider. Nancy and I had been friends and then lovers for twenty five years or more. She knew me. She knew Mitch and she knew Marie. Yes, she could cause Mitch and me a lot of trouble on this trip if I were to upset her, but more than that, she had shared my life with me for a long time and I owed her at least a conversation. "No, please don't do that. Nancy is... great. I'm sure that you'll like her once you get to know her. After breakfast, while the men are meeting, I'm going to meet with Nancy and talk things out. I know her. She's a good woman. By lunch time, everything will be fine between us. You'll see. We were friends for a long time. We'll be good."
Jodi shook her head. "My God, she's as beautiful as a goddess and as sweet as a saint. You're the real deal, aren't you, Donnie?"
That made me smile for real. "I certainly hope so."
We entered the Kauai Ballroom where the rest of the firm and their wives had already gathered. Mitch had mentioned that the firm employed sixty five lawyers and accountants - secretaries and paralegals were not included in these retreats - so I estimated that there were about a hundred and thirty people already chatting and eating and enjoying their first full day of the retreat. There was a sense of vacation, undoubtedly, but there was also a sense of posturing and networking and even desperation that was never a part of my own work experience. It made me realize why Mitch was so concerned about having a woman to accompany him on this trip. It only took me a few moments of looking around to understand how the hierarchy of this world worked. The good news was, though, I was feeling that same sense of pride I had felt on the plane, now that I was back amongst other women. I could tell that I was making an impact. That my silk blouse with the floppy, feminine bow, the gold jacquard skirt and the gold, spiked sandals, combined with my luxuriously long hair and well executed makeup was having the desired impact on the room.
I headed toward the buffet table, but Jodi slipped her arm through mine and led me towards the table where Mitch and Bob sat with Beverly and Oscar. "No, no, dear," Jodi whispered, "we are sitting at the head table. We don't carry our food, it will be brought to us."
Bev saw us coming and stood, her arms wide open to hug Jodi. "Thank God you're here!" She said with great theatricality. Then she spoke into Jodi's ear, as if whispering, but plenty loud enough for me to hear as well. "Oscar hasn't closed his computer for a moment since we arrived and without you, I have had absolutely NO ONE to talk to. These women... oh, I don't need to tell you. We'll get them in line though, won't we."
Both she and Jodi laughed about that. "We certainly will," Jodi was still laughing as she spoke. "But I'm sure that this wonderful girl is going to help us crack the whip, too." She indicates me and stepped to the side in a way that made it known to everyone else that I was being presented to the most important woman in the room.
Beverly eyed me from the top of my head to the bottom of my heels and then, and only then, looked me in the eye and smiled. "Yes indeed," she nodded. "You, young lady... you have potential to go far with this company. Just look at you. Young, beautiful, and with the poise of a princess. Mitch has chosen very well."
Creepy, right? Yeah, well, that's how I felt, too, but I couldn't show that, could I?
Instead, I smiled. "What makes you think that Mitch chose me?"
That brought a very satisfied smile to the older woman's face. "So you chose him? Even better."
Ok, I have to admit, I had no idea what I was doing in this situation, but it certainly seemed like my improvisations were winning Beverly over. So much so, in fact, that she hugged me and patted my back. "I like, you, Dawn. Let's have some breakfast."
Finally, we arrived at the table. Mitch stood and pulled out my chair for me, then scooted me in so that I sat comfortably. The straight table of six was set up in a Boy-Girl fashion. Oscar and Beverly in the middle, Bob and Jodi to Beverly's right, I sat to Oscar's left with Mitch at the end. It was almost like a bridal party arrangement. We sat at the only rectangular table, while everyone else sat at round tables in front of us. I leaned towards Mitch and said, "Sitting with the President and Vice President? I had no idea that you were such a big deal."
"Neither did I." Mitch sipped some orange juice and tried not to speak too loudly. "Apparently, Bob liked the work I did on the plane last night."
"Congratulations," I said, sincerely.
"And..." He let that hang for a moment. "From what I understand, Jodi called Bev and told her how amazing you are. Since I sat down here, I have heard the word 'Dawn' at least fifty times. You are the buzz of this retreat. Thank you."
I know it's petty, but I loved that he said that and I kind of loved that it was true, too. All I had to do was survey the room to see the looks on the faces of the women to know that the 'dress to impress' plan that Randall and Marie had hatched was paying off - and I loved it.
Our breakfast was brought to us and it was delicious. Fresh tropical fruits as well as the typical egg dishes you'd find at a luxury restaurant. I enjoyed every morsel of the limited amount I allowed my self.
As we reached the end of the meal, Mitch's text message alarm sounded. He looked at his phone and leaned over to tell me that our luggage had been delivered to our room. "Do you want the concierge to send up maids to unpack for you?"
"Yes, please," I said, not wanting to have to deal with that daunting task! "What is our room number?"
Mitch told me and I text that to Nancy, who I had not seen since I arrived in the ballroom, but there were a lot of people there. I asked her to meet me in an hour in my room.
"Did you enjoy your breakfast, Dawn?" Oscar turned and asked me. It was the first thing he'd said to me since I sat down.
"Yes, very much, thank you," I said. "The fruit was delicious."
"Was it?" he said and nodded. "I wonder if you'd mind switching seats with your young fellow so that I can speak to him about some pressing issues."
"No, not at all," I answered and pushed my chair back. Mitch jumped up to assist me, of course and I asked him to trade seats with me, but before we could do that Bob had joined our side of the table and suggested that I might join the ladies in mingling with the employees.
I looked to see Bev and Jodi pushing their chairs back, unaided, and standing, preparing to greet the masses. "Oh, of course," I smiled and joined them.
Obviously, Bev and Jodi were very used to playing the hostesses in these situations, but it was all new to me. Thank God they didn't send me off on my own! Instead, we traveled from table to table as a threesome. I was introduced to everyone as 'Mitch's Girl.' At first, Bev introduced me as Dawn, but with Jodi's persistent use of my nickname,"Dawn' was soon replaced with 'Donnie.'
I couldn't possibly keep track of the names of all these men and women, and I was shocked at how many names Bev and Jodi could recall with ease.
We worked our way from table to table, shaking hands, being hugged, having my clothes complimented. I kind of loved the whole experience - for the first time in my life, I was a big deal. I did notice, though that there were numbers on the tables, just like a wedding reception, so there was definitely a seating plan at work here. I wondered if we were meant to sit elsewhere prior Mitch's ascension to the head table.
Finally, we came to table twenty four, near the back of the hall, where I found Nancy and her fiancé sitting with two other couples. All of them seemed a bit out of their element. One of the men was wearing cargo shorts, which would probably be fine, even at this swanky place, on any other occasion, but certainly not in this company.
Neither Bev, nor Jodi seemed to know any of these people, so I took the lead. "Beverly, Jodi, this is my friend, Nancy. Nancy grew up with Mitch and me. And this must be her fiancé, Craig," I said, indicating the man I'd seen her with on the veranda. "I had no idea that Nancy was here until we ran into each other this morning."
"Oh, my heavens," Beverly gushed, "what a small world!" The fact that I knew Nancy, and seemed to be endorsing her in some way, seemed to encourage Beverly and Jodi to show her more attention than they had to many other people who'd been sitting in the seats far from the head table. I felt bad for them, but I was happy that I'd been able to bring some attention to them.
Craig was a good looking guy. A little shorter than Mitch, maybe six feet tall, tight, curly, dirty blonde hair, brown eyes. A little chubby, perhaps, but not fat by any means. He had a nice smile, but seemed extremely nervous, but let's face it, the stakes seemed very high for all of these people.
Just as we finished, Oscar stood and asked for everyone's attention. He announced that the men would be having a meeting for the next few hours and asked that Beverly announce what was planned for the women.
Beverly stood in front of the head table and spoke loudly, "At eleven thirty, all of us who would like to have a massage are meeting at the beachside spa. Now, there's plenty of tables and plenty of masseuses, so we can all participate if we want. It's eight forty five now, so we all have plenty of time to unpack and do a little shopping before then. See you there!" She waved and the more experienced wives stood immediately, kissed their husbands and headed for the doors. The newbies followed their lead.
I kissed Mitch who whispered, "Be careful with Nancy. Call if you need me. I'll bow out and come running."
I kissed him again. "Thanks, but Nancy and I are both big girls. We'll work things out."
He gave me my purse and a keycard and I left. In the hall, Jodi asked if I'd need any help getting ready, but I declined, reminding her that I was meeting with a Nancy.
She rolled her eyes a bit. "I know she's your friend, dear, but... I just don't know if she and that fiancé of hers have what it takes. I mean, that skirt and top... they need to up their game considerably if they're ever going to be the faces that represent this firm."
I felt a chill pass over me. I really didn't like the snobbish way she'd said that, but beyond that, I was very afraid that if Bev or Jodi were to be rude to her, Nancy might assume that I'd influenced them in that direction and then in turn she'd tell them about me.
"I'll see if I can guide her towards being more dressed up," I said with a smile. Then it occurred to me that I had never had a massage before. "Listen, Jodi, I hate to ask this, and I don't want to appear stupid, but what should I wear to get this massage later?"
Jodi smiled, "Never hesitate to ask, my dear. Wear a swim suit and a covering. We'll probably be relaxing on the beach for lunch."
"Wonderful," I said. Then we kissed each other's cheeks and went our separate ways.
I stopped at the front desk and asked directions to my room. They called over a young man who was instructed to lead me there. As I followed him, I heard someone say, "You are sure friendly with the executives, aren't you?"
I turned to see Nancy coming out of her room. "Just a moment," I said to the young man I was following. I turned back to Nancy and asked, "Do you want to come with me now and we can talk?"
She shrugged. "I guess so. I was just going to take a walk, but I'd rather find out what..." She waved her hands up and down in front of me '...is all about."
When we reached our suite, even I, who had seen the photos, was amazed by the size and beauty of the room. Nancy couldn't believe it.
"This is your room!?" Nancy said as the door closed.
I nodded, but I could hear movement in the next room. I excused myself and walked towards the noise. It was being caused by three women in maids uniforms who were just finishing unpacking my luggage. They quickly put the luggage into closet and, after I signed a receipt that included a generous tip, they left, leaving Nancy and me alone.
"You have maids unpacking your luggage for you?" Nancy crossed her arms and looked around the suite. "God almighty, that get up that you're wearing must have cost a thousand dollars. What kind of a game are you and Mitch playing, Donnie!?"
Now, since I had first spoken to Nancy, I had resolved to not only be perfectly honest with her, but to show no sign of embarrassment or humiliation or let her provoke me. Besides, I had handled myself well at breakfast and I was proud of that.
"Come on," I said as I headed out of the bedroom, "let's sit in the lounge."
"Lounge?" Nancy said sarcastically as she followed me. "Unbelievable."
There were two wing-back chairs looking out of a huge window. Nancy watched as I sat, my rump near the edge of the seat, my back straight and my legs crossed daintily at the knees. She shook her head and put her hands on her hips. "Sit. Please," I said, politely, indicating the other chair as femininely as I could.
Nancy flopped herself into the seat and waited. "Well?" She finally asked.
I was honest. I told her everything. The Halloween party, the Velma costume, the picture in Mitch's office, the deal I made with Mitch, Marie, Hilda, Randall, the clothes, the makeup, the fears I'd wrestled with, the night at O'Connor's Restaurant, Beverly, Jodi, the flight with Jodi - everything and Nancy just sat and listened in amazement.
I waited for her to say something and she did. "I... I'm speechless. This is insane, Donnie. What happens when they find out? Mitch will be ruined!"
"They can't find out then," I said. "Please, Nan, I know you probably hate me, but please, for Mitch's sake, don't tell them."
Nancy stood and looked out the window. "Donnie... I know I hurt you when I left, but I don't think that you ever really understood why I did. I... I need to feel like I'm a part of a relationship, Donnie, and... and I didn't feel that way with you anymore. You had shut me out at least a couple years before I left. You were depressed and distant... I begged you to see someone about it, to get some help, but... you just kept shutting me out. I knew you were suffering, but there was nothing I could do to help you if you kept refusing to help yourself. I didn't leave because I hated you, Donnie, I left because I loved you and couldn't just stand by and watch you do that to yourself."
What could I say? She was right. I had been floundering and unhappy for quite sometime before our breakup. I'd gained weight, I'd gotten moody and I flat out refused to seek help. I think I thought I was being brave and strong, but... You know, if I'd heard Nancy saying those things just a week earlier, I would have been furious, but right at that moment... at that moment I knew what happiness felt like. I'd felt it in Mitch's arms. So at that moment, I understood what she meant.
I stood and walked over to her and said, "I'm sorry, Nancy. I really am."
She smiled a sad smile and said, "It's ok, I guess, Donnie. It all worked out. I found Craig and I'm happy now." I nodded, and I was surprised when Nancy asked, "Are you happy with Mitch?"
I laughed. "I'm not WITH Mitch, Nan."
She nodded, but smirked as she did. Before I could discuss that look, though she surprised me when she reached out and touched my blouse. "I envy your clothes, Donnie," Nancy said, taking in the whole look. "I can't afford things this nice. Craig is an accountant. They don't come close to making what lawyers make at that firm." She ran her fingers along the floppy bow. "It's so soft. It must be nice to wear something so beautiful. How do you do it, Donnie?"
"What?" I asked. "Wear these clothes?"
"All of it!" she said with a tone that sounded almost like despair. "You carry yourself so beautifully, your makeup is perfect... and these women, Donnie! I'll never be able to impress them and you've been a girl for, what, a week, and they're falling all over you! How do you do it!?"
I smiled to try to keep her from crying. "What are you wearing to the luau tonight?" I asked.
She looked down at herself and used her hands to indicate her clothes, which, let me be clear, looked just fine on her, but were not designed to impress. Nancy was not exactly a clothes horse. She bought the highest quality she could, which typically meant that she shopped at Kohl's or JC Penny. There's nothing wrong with that, and there was nothing WRONG with how she looked. She was wearing a loose fitting, short sleeved rayon top with a scoop neck and a button closure in the back, matched with a run of the mill, royal blue skirt that sat high on her thigh. Her shoes were a pair of low heeled, tan sandals that she probably bought at DSW (Discount Shoe Warehouse).
I didn't know quite how to broach my next suggestion, so I led her to the closet and looked to see where my clothes had been hung. I stepped into the walk-in closet and looked for something I had brought against the expressed wishes of Marie. I carried it out and pulled the dry cleaner style plastic bag off of it revealing a beautiful white sundress with red roses adorning the wide, pleated skirt.
Nancy shook her head and touched the fabric. "It's beautiful. You'll look beautiful in it."
"No," I giggled, "I'm offering it to you to wear."
Nancy looked at me, back to the dress and back to me again. "Me? You're suggesting that I wear this tonight?"
I nodded. "Let's try it on." I laid the dress carefully on the bed, then turned to help Nancy undress.
It's funny, because I saw the same look of shock on her face that I must have displayed last night when Jodi started to change in front of me. "It's ok, Nancy," I smiled. "I've seen you naked before."
She blinked. "Yeah, but things were different then."
"You're right," I nodded. "I was a guy, then. Now, I'm... well, let's not go there. Just try on the dress."
Nancy is a little bigger in the bust than I am, but other than that, we are similar in size. I helped her zip up the sundress and she looked amazing in it. "What do you think?" I asked.
Nancy looked into the mirror and shook her head. "I don't know, Donnie. Are you sure? I mean, if I wear this, you won't be able to wear it this week. They'll notice."
"I'm sure," I assured her. "Let's start with this dress tonight and we'll figure out how to beef up your wardrobe for the rest of the week."
My shoes didn't fit her, but I called down to the concierge's desk and asked about the possibility that the resort sold shoes. He transferred me to a clerk in their boutique who said that they had a wide selection of sandals, but nothing else. As it turned out they had three different styles of sandals with a two inch heel in Nancy's size. I asked them to send all three up to my suite for her to try on. I'd guess it took eight minutes for the shoes to arrive and all three were attractive and all three fit nicely. I told them to charge all three to my room.
"Shouldn't you ask Mitch, first?" Nancy asked.
I chuckled at that. "He won't mind. I promise." It was less than two hundred dollars. I was sure he wouldn't mind.
Nancy laughed at that. "Of course he won't mind. He loves you." She hugged me hard, "I do too, Donnie. I'm glad that we've cleared the air between us. I think I should go put on my swimsuit so we can get those massages."
She kissed my cheek and I followed her to the door. Before she left, she stopped and looked at me. "Thank you, Donnie."
"Anything I can do to help." I smiled and I meant it.
She nodded and headed out the door.
I had just gotten into my high waisted, two piece swim suit when Jodi came knocking at my door. The suit was hard to describe. From a distance, the pattern might have been flowers, or perhaps an animal print of some kind, but there was also this kind of snakeskin type mottling over that pattern that made it all just blend together. The colors were a mishmash of tans and browns and reds that I liked. The panty came to just below my belly button, I know, not as high waisted as you might think, but still tasteful, and the top featured cups just big enough to offer 'good girl modesty' with a narrow band going around my back and a very thin spaghetti strap going from one cup, around my neck, and back to the other cup.
"I'm coming!" I called as I hustled barefoot to the door. "Hi, come on in. I'm still struggling to figure out where the maids put everything."
Jodi laughed at that. "Oh, my dear, traveling is a great challenge. You'll get used to it."
This was the first time I'd been with Jodi without wearing heels and I was struck by how much taller than me she actually was. Heels really change your perspective. "Can I help you find anything?" She asked as she meandered towards the closet. She'd followed me into the bedroom without a thought, but so what - after changing together on the flight, we had no secrets anymore - well, you know what I mean.
"Yes, if you wouldn't mind. There should be a pair of wedge sandals in there with the same pattern as this suit. Argh, I can't find my coverup, either. I should have had them wait until I could be here to have them unpack for me. Then I'd have at least a clue of where they put things!" I was digging through my drawers, looking for the article in question.
"My goodness," Jodi, in the typically theatrical manner that she and Bev favored, called out from the closet, "you brought more than even I did! And these are all new! Mitch must have spent a fortune on all of this!"
I found the wrap I was looking for and went to closet to see how Jodi was making out. She had the sandals in her hand, but she was looking through my clothing that was hanging in the closet. I have to admit, there was a huge disparity between the amount of space my clothes took up and the the space taken up by Mitch's.
I shrugged at Jodi's observation. "I wasn't one hundred percent sure what to bring, and... well, I wanted to 'dress to impress.'"
Jodi laughed at that. "You've certainly done that, young lady! My God! The comments I have heard from the other wives about your entrance this morning! Right out of the gate, you and Mitch have become the rising stars of this firm!"
"Well, that's certainly nice of you to say, Jodi." I smiled as I slipped my feet into the comfortable wedgie style sandals, "but it's Mitch that's a rising star. I'm just along for the ride."
When Jodi spoke, she dragged the first words out and laughed through all of them. "Oh, no, no, no, no, Donnie. See, this firm has been the focus of Oscar and Bob's lives for decades, now, and they are very serious about who they'll make a partner. We have had a few female partners, but they all moved on to greener pastures. We've had a few gay partners, too, but their husbands tend to not join the wives - for obvious reasons. Bob and Oscar prefer straight, honest men who are focused on a stable community and a stable life. A wife, a home, kids if that works out... Mitch is bright and talented and he works hard, but the thing that is putting him over the top... is you."
"Me!?" I was genuinely confused. What did I have to contribute.
"Yes, you, Donnie. Your style and your grace and your presence... you are exactly the kind of person we want to see at our charity events, or on the arms of our partners when their pictures are in the papers... I know that sounds awful, but think of it as stage production. You make Mitch look good - darling, you make Mitch look great - and that's something we need to always be thinking about. You two can go far!"
"But..." I was feeling a little trapped. I was certainly going to continue to do my best while I was in Hawaii, but I needed an escape hatch. "Jodi, I'm not sure that Mitch and I are at the point of making things permanent. I mean... I'm still looking for work and who knows where that may take me... and Mitch and I haven't discussed anything like that... seriously, I just don't know if we're going end up together forever."
Jodi held my wrap open for me and I slipped it onto my shoulders. It was short, matched the swimsuit and had a handkerchief hem line - made of sheer silk, of course. Jodi adjusted the garment on my form as if she was a tailor. "Just stop thinking negatively. Mitch loves you and you love Mitch, right?"
"Yes."
"Alright, then. End of story. Start looking at all the positives that a relationship based in love has to offer. I bet your mother loves Mitch, too."
I shook my head. "She did, but my mom died before we started dating." Thank God for that! I'm not sure that I could have explained all of this to her.
"Well, your sister, then."
"My twin sister and Mitch are very close. My older two sisters don't even like me very much, let alone Mitch."
"Well, to Hell with them, then!" Jodi ushered me towards my door. "I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but you know and I know that you two were made for each other. Now, I promise that I will never, ever mention it again - at least not until I have the two of you together tonight at the luau. Let's go."
Oh, the massage was heavenly!!! It hurt so much and then felt so good! After it was done, most of us congregated at a beachside bar. I spent a good chunk of the afternoon sipping a mai tai and participating in Bev and Jodi's mandatory networking exercises. It was an eye opening lesson in the American caste system, but I was able to get Nancy a little bit better acquainted with Bev. I wasn't sure how that went, but I did my best!
We were back in our rooms by five thirty with the reminder that we had to be dressed and at that evening's luau by seven thirty. Mitch was already in the room, showered and changed into pair of white slacks and a lightweight linen shirt that hung handsomely from his broad shoulders.
But there was a problem with that outfit.
"Hey!" He greeted me from the balcony where he was reading something on his iPad. "How was your day?"
"Interesting," I shrugged. "Nancy is not going to be a problem. She was just surprised when she saw me. I think our bigger problem is Jodi's desire to see us locked in holy matrimony before this trip is over. I just need to rinse off in the shower. I'll be right out."
I tucked my hair into a shower cap and washed up quickly. I dried off, moisturized, powdered, made myself up and pulled on the panties, bra and slip I'd be wearing that night. I took out the red cocktail dress with the tropical flower theme print that was meant for that evening and checked that it was ready to put on just before we left and I found the red shoes to wear with it and laid all of that out on the bed. Then I hustled into the closet and pulled out the hotel provided ironing board and iron. Then I went back into the lounge and told Mitch to stand up.
"You look nice," he smiled. "Is that what you're wearing tonight? What are you doing?" He asked as I started unbuttoning his shirt.
"You're a wrinkled mess, so take your shirt and pants off and I'll iron them." I helped to pull the shirt off. "And no, this is not what I'm wearing tonight. This is a slip, smart guy. The same thing that seemed to confuse you this morning. Take off your pants and bring them into the bedroom. I'll do your shirt first."
By the time I got back into the bedroom, the iron was hot enough, so I went to work on Mitch's shirt. A moment later, he came in with his trousers over his arm. "So, how is it that you know how to iron clothes?"
"Everyone knows how to iron clothes, Mitch. Well... everyone who doesn't live across the street from his mom." I laughed at that.
"Haha, very funny," he smirked. "I DO NOT bring my laundry to my mother. I use a cleaning service."
I smiled because that seemed even funnier than having his mom do it.
Mitch looked out the window as I worked. I probably shouldn't have brought it up this close to having to leave for the luau, but I had to. "Hey, Umm... Mitch... can I ask you something?"
"Sure," he said, turning to face me in his boxers. I've seen Mitch in his drawers dozens of times through the years, but now... it seemed different. Sexier.
"Last night... when you kissed me goodnight... we talked about Jodi wanting us to get married..."
He nodded. "I remember."
I sighed. "Just before you got into bed, you said 'if only.' Do you remember that?"
"Umm... yeah, I guess." He turned to the window again. "What about it?"
I hung his shirt over the back of a chair and picked up his pants and started ironing them. "What did you mean by that?"
He turned partway toward me and shrugged. "I don't know. Probably nothing. Does it matter?"
I set the iron to the side. "Of course it matters, Mitch. I wouldn't have asked if it didn't. Come on, what did you mean?"
He sat on the bed and said, "Come here."
I walked over and stood in front him. With him seated, Mitch was about four inches shorter than me. He wiggled his finger for me to come closer, putting me between his legs. He reached up and bent me toward him. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead. "Donnie... you're my best friend and you know I love you. If the universe had created us differently, maybe we could have been together in a different way and... I'm sorry, but I keep thinking about that. You were a great guy, but now... now, you're... you're breathtaking, you really are, and part of me wishes that this was all... real. That you were... you know... that we could be... together. That's all I meant when I said 'if only.'"
Now, Mitch's big hands were in the middle of my back, rubbing the soft silk of my slip and making me feel small and... needy. "I'm sorry," I said too quietly.
"Why?" Mitch asked.
"That I'm not... real." I really did feel bad about it. "I wish..." I looked away. "You know... 'if only.'"
He nodded and kissed me, just softly - lovingly, not with the promise of anything else. He rubbed his hands along my back, it felt nice, but feeling nice almost made me feel worse.
"This feels soft," he smiled. "I can see why you're enjoying wearing clothes like this."
"I better finish your pants," I said as I pulled away and returned to the job at hand.
I ironed his pants while he sat on the bed, trying to think of something to break the silence. When I was done, I handed them to him and watched him put them on. The pants and shirt hung more neatly, now. "That's better," I nodded, then I turned and dug my amethyst pendent out of my ziplock baggie of jewelry while Mitch returned the iron and ironing board to their storage areas. By the time he was back in the bedroom, my tropic-themed cocktail dress was on and I was reaching to pull the zipper up my back.
"I'll get that," Mitch said as he took the zipper from my hand and slowly raised it while I slipped my feet into the black, three inch heeled, open toed, dark red pumps that went with this ensemble.
I turned and thanked him, feeling as if the wind had been taken out of both of us by our conversation. "I'm sorry if I upset you, Mitch," I said. "I just needed to know what you meant."
He nodded. "I know. What do you say we have a good time tonight, ok? I mean, that's what we're here for, right."
"Ostensibly," I laughed.
He snickered at that. "Ok, so you got rid of my wrinkles and you look... freaking amazing... so let's go have some fun, ok?"
I know it sounds horribly egotistical to say this, but I did look great. The deep red of the dress matched my nails, my shoes and my lips beautifully, my evening makeup was perfect and my long, shiny, blonde hair fell luxuriously over my shoulders and to my lower back. I've worn a tux once or twice and I owned a good suit that didn't fit me anymore, and I liked the way that I'd looked in those, but men never get to experience the process of joining into a partnership with clothing, makeup and hair. As a woman, I was beginning to not only enjoy, but to crave the feeling of the perfectly chosen and executed look. Combine that feeling with the feeling of having compliments rained on you by admiring women and the looks of fascination from men, well, it was beyond intoxicating - it was addictive and I had developed 'a jones' for that feeling.
"I look good, then?" I asked Mitch, fishing for another compliment.
Mitch smiled and put a hand on each of my arms, pulling me closer. "You," he kissed the skin of my exposed left shoulder, "look," he kissed the exposed skin of my right shoulder, "absolutely," he kissed my forehead, "gorgeous." He kissed my lips gently, warmly, softly, with a restrained passion that I felt flow from my lips to my chest to my stomach to my knees to my toes.
I didn't even realize that my eyes were closed until the kiss ended and I opened them, again. "I love you," I whispered in a passionate gasp, and then was immediately horrified that I'd gotten that caught up in the moment.
Mitch smiled, but the smile wasn't sexual in anyway. It was just Mitch's smile. "I know. I love you, too. Let's go."
Whew! Mitch had mistaken my 'lost in the moment confession' as our usual, odd banter.
In the hallway, Mitch took my hand and we walked to the elevator. "I have a golf game at nine tomorrow morning," he said as we waited.
"Just you, or all the men?" I asked.
He chuckled, "All the men. There's a kind of unofficial tournament going on throughout the week. There are four courses at the resort and one nearby. We're playing one every morning for the next five days."
I nodded. Of course I knew that golf was part of the trip and that was fine, but with the longing feelings that Mitch had just stirred in me still surging through me, I was feeling a little jealous about his time being eaten up by a silly game. "I hope there's a good prize," I said, a bit too petulantly.
He laughed. "Oh, there is. The winner gets an extra week of vacation any time he wants to take it."
Ok - great prize, right! I guess I could understand why he'd want to win that.
The elevator doors opened and we were greeted by the smiles and conversations of a few of Mitch's colleagues and their wives. Mitch introduced me, of course I'd met them, but I still was struggling with names. As we finished our descent to and walk across the lobby, Mitch and the men spoke about the next day's golf groupings while I gave compliments to and received compliments from the wives, all of whom were in their forties and very, very, very good looking women.
Just as we were approaching the doors, I heard someone call from just a few feet behind us, "Hey, um, Mitch! Dawn! Um, could I bother you for a moment."
We turned and saw Nancy's fiancé, Craig, hurrying towards us, looking a bit flustered. He looked from Mitch to me and spoke nervously, "Hi... ummm... I'm Craig. I guess you both know my fiancé." He indicated Nancy, who was just catching up with him and who, by the way, looked amazing in the rose-print sundress I'd provided.
"Oh, sure," Mitch smiled, but looking a little concerned. They shook hands. "This is my girlfriend, Dawn."
"Yes," Craig said, "we met briefly this morning, but... look, I don't want to take up your time or anything, but..." he looked at me, then at Nancy and indicated the dress. "... well... thank you so much for... This is all kind of new to us. I worked for a little tax firm until a few months ago and this whole retreat thing... I didn't realize how... fancy it'd all be. I mean... we felt like the poor relations at breakfast this morning, and the wives... you know... appearance means a lot to them. Thank you. We've ordered a few things online to..." he chuckled, "... upgrade our look for the rest of the week, but you guys being so generous and helping Nancy, well... both of us, out this way. It means a lot. Thank you."
Mitch, of course was completely in the dark, but the guy seemed sincere and Nancy had put her arm around my waist and kissed my cheek, so Mitch figured that whatever the guy was talking about, it was better than being threatened with the exposure of my true sex. Forming a picture of what had happened without his involvement, Mitch finally put his arm around my shoulder and said, "Anything we can do to help!" Then he looked at Nancy and said, "Hi, Nan. Good to see you."
"Good to see you, too, Mitch," she said as she let go of my waist and kissed Mitch's cheek before moving beside Craig. "I'm sorry that we interrupted you on the way to the luau, but Craig wanted to thank you before you were wrapped up in schmoozing with the big shots. We'll get out of your hair, now. Thank you both, though and, Mitch... take good care of that lady. She's something special."
"Don't I know it." Mitch squeezed my shoulder as they walked away.
We waited a moment or two before Mitch looked at me with a smirk on his face. "So... am I paying for dresses for all of the wives this week?"
I smiled and leaned into his body. "You don't really mind, do you? I mean... you know how the wives are. She needed this, Mitch. It's just one dress."
He nodded and we headed towards the luau area. "I don't mind," he said as we walked. "You and Nancy seem cool and that's a good thing. So if all that cost was a hundred dollars for a dress, I guess it's worth it."
I waited a moment before asking, "Is it worth it if it cost three hundred and fifty dollars for a dress?"
He shook his head. "You are definitely not a cheap date."
The luau was just as wonderfully cheesy as you'd expect. Lots of food with coconut and pineapple in it, hula dancers, ukulele players, Hawaiian folk songs, fire performers with flaming batons, swallowing and spitting the flames. It met the expectations of every tourist's vacation dream.
We sat with Bev and Oscar, and Bob and Jodi again. I spotted Nancy and Craig crossing the floor after they'd paid a visit to the bar. Nancy waved to me, a big smile on her face, and I waved back.
"I assume that dress is your doing," Jodi said, leaning towards me. There was a pitcher of mia tias on the table and I'd had a couple and I was feeling the warmth of a slight buzz, but Jodi and Bev seemed immune to the strong drink.
I just smiled at first. "She looks lovely, doesn't she?"
Jodi took my hand in hers and squeezed it. "I bet you're the kind of girl that always brought home the stray puppies, aren't you? Yes, she looks lovely and maybe, just maybe, with your tutelage, that girl and her husband might just rise up above the rest. You've outdone yourself already. Good work."
Jodi leaned towards Bev and whispered something. Then, Bev looked past Jodi to me and said, "Excellent work, Dawn. That's what the wives are here to do - help the other wives so that they can properly support the men. Very well done!"
Hah! At least now I had an idea of the goals the wives were trying to achieve.
As the evening wore on, the band put away their ukuleles and started playing instruments more commonly heard on the radio - bass, drums, guitars, keyboards - and some of the hula dancers reinvented themselves as singers and the area where the show had taken place became a dance floor.
Realizing that the band had switched to pop music, Mitch looked at me from across the table and said, "I say four," and he held up four fingers. By the look of Mitch's face, I could tell that he'd been enjoying the mai tais as well.
I glanced at the band and shook my head. I held up two fingers and said, "Nope. I say two."
"What on Earth is that all about?" Bev asked.
I laughed as I explained, and the band began playing their first selection, 'Just One Look,' an old song that I knew from Linda Ronstadt's version. "Whenever Mitch and I go to a bar, or a wedding or any place where a cover band is playing, we always bet on how many songs it will take until they play Van Morrison's 'Brown Eyed Girl.' They all play it and they usually play it within the first six songs."
"That's hilarious!" Beverly laughed. "Mitchell! Mitchell! I say three!"
"Five!" Jodi joined the game.
"What does the winner get?" Bev asked.
"The joy of acting smug about being right for the rest of the night." I giggled.
"Oh, well, I certainly want to win, then," Bev said, refilling her glass with the bright yellow drink.
The song ended and we all listened for the start of the next song. We heard the faint sounds of the drummer counting, "One, two, one, two, three, four," followed by the somewhat 'island-y' sound of everyone's favorite song my Belfast's favorite white-soul singer.
"Ha!" I shouted as everyone else groaned and I stood and began bowing - This was not typical behavior for me, this kind of display of silliness, and I should have taken it as a warning that I'd already had a little too much rum. I didn't, though. "Thank you! Thank you, very much!" I bowed a few more times, before grabbing my skirts and pretending to curtsy.
I pumped my hands in the air as I sat and joined in singing with the song,
"Hey, where did we go?
Days when the rains came
Down in the hollow
Playin' a new game"
By this point, Jodi and Bev had joined me in singing.
"Laughing and a running hey, hey
Skipping and a jumping
In the misty morning fog with
Our hearts a thumpin' and you
My brown-eyed girl
You, my brown-eyed girl"
When the song was over, all three of us were laughing a bit drunkenly, but not so drunkenly as to raise people's eyebrows.
When, after a few upbeat songs, the band started playing a ballad, it was 'Wild Horses' by The Stones, which is kind of an odd song to play at an event like this, and, coincidentally, one of my favorites, so I jumped up and grabbed Mitch's hand and dragged him out of his seat. "Come on, come on, come on," I insisted. "We're going to miss it!"
Bev and Jodi convinced their significant others to join the dance as well.
Mitch surprised me by being a remarkably good dancer. I expected the typical hanging off of each other that most modern couples do when dancing, but he led me around the floor like a pro. I have no idea how he had learned to dance, but it was an awfully nice surprise.
The next song was Elvis' 'Are You Lonesome Tonight?' I was to learn that Elvis was a big deal in Hawaii, apparently because of the filming of three of his movies there and a concert that he did there in the seventies that was broadcast world wide.
"You seem like you're having a good time," Mitch whispered as we danced.
"I am." I smiled, enjoying the feel of Mitch's embrace and the smell of his chest. We swayed and sang along until the song ended.
When the song ended, we were headed off the dance floor when we heard the distinctive piano lick that begins Bob Seeger's 'Old Time Rock and Roll." Bev and Jodi, who were walking ahead of Mitch and me, turned on their heels and ran back to the dance floor, grabbing my hands along the way. Most of the men abandoned the floor, but most of the wives swarmed towards the middle.
When I think back to that night, I remember how great it felt to cut loose with the women. I remember how wonderful my dress felt as it bounced with me. I remember that Nancy was dancing near me with Bev and Jodi. I remember singing at the top of my lungs, and then... I don't remember anything else about that night.
The next thing I remember is Mitch waking me up the next morning. "Come on, sleepyhead. We have to get to breakfast pretty soon."
I grunted as I sat up. My head didn't ache, but it was filled with cobwebs. "What time is it?"
"Seven," Mitch smiled. "We're teeing off at nine, so we need to eat before that."
"Ok," I muttered as I pulled the covers back, but then I stopped and looked at myself. I was wearing one if my new, slip-style nighties. "How did I get into this nightie?" I asked.
Mitch laughed. "What are you I talking about? You made a big deal out of putting it on last night. You modeled it for me. Don't you remember?"
I blinked and tried to get the cobwebs out. "I guess those drinks hit me after I got into bed."
Mitch excused himself to the lounge for a moment and returned with a bottle of orange juice. "Here. This will help. I ran down to the lobby and grabbed a couple of bottles."
"Thanks." I smiled. My mouth was drier than I expected and the strong flavor of the juice hit me pretty hard. It definitely helped to wake me up a bit. "Hey, can I ask a favor?"
"Sure." Mitch smiled as he folded the pajama bottoms he's apparently worn to bed.
"We have that semi formal thing tonight, right? Well, I was just thinking, I'll have to wash my hair anyway and Marie mentioned that, maybe, it might be nice if I had my hair up for that, so..."
Mitch started at me blankly. "So... what?"
"So," I hated to even ask after spending so much or his money already, "would it be ok if, maybe, I made an appointment to have my hair done at the salon?"
He laughed. "Sure! You don't need to ask me about things like that though. Just do it."
I nodded. "Ok, thanks, but..."
He looked at me and held his finger sideways and made a rolling motion indicating I should continue.
"Could I maybe... invite Nancy to come, too. Jodi said that the dress I'd loaned her was a big improvement and she kind of made me take her on as a project."
Mitch laughed again. "That's fine." He offered two hands to me and helped me to rise from the bed. "I'm surprised you want to go back to a salon after the story you told me last night."
I froze. "What story did I tell you?"
He looked at me a bit confused. "You know. You told me what they did down there." He pointed to the bottom of my nightie. "You showed me that heart that the lady made and why Jodi made the Valentines Day remark on the plane."
I hung my head, slapped my hands to my face and nearly passed out. "Oh, my God! I didn't really show you that, did I?"
"Sure you did. You don't remember?"
I shook my head. "No. I must have had a little more to drink than I thought. Oh, no... you must think I'm such an idiot!"
"Why?" He laughed. "I think it's adorable!"
"Never mind." I shook my head as I headed into the bathroom.
"Seriously..." Mitch started to say, but I was way too embarrassed to get into a discussion.
"No! Not a word about it!" I actually shouted. "And never, ever, EVER bring it up again!" I closed the door far too hard, but I didn't care. Then I cracked it open again and shouted out, "And get the suit you're wearing tonight out and hang it by the door! I'll make sure that it gets pressed."
When I was dress and we got down to the lobby, I stopped at the concierge's desk and asked about their laundering services and salon appointments. The woman on duty promised to have Mitch's suit picked up and pressed and to make the appointments for me and call me to confirm a time. We had breakfast with Bev and Jodi, but Oscar and Bob had eaten earlier and were off doing something or other. I took the advantage of the two empty seats at our table to invite Craig and Nancy to join us, and they were thrilled to do so.
That morning, I was wearing a short, straight, but loose fitting, beige skirt and a sleeveless, sheer, white silk blouse that hung very loosely from my shoulders and breasts. It had no collar and a fairly low cut neckline that had three buttons that sat between my breasts. As I mentioned, it was sheer, and beneath it I wore a nicely lace covered camisole that played a part in the overall look of the garment. It was very comfortable.
Nancy showed up in the same run if the mill shorts as she'd worn the previous day, but she had purchased a lovely top from the resort's boutique that looked lovely on her. I know how wrong it is to judge a person on their appearance, but that is the situation in which we found ourselves. Thanks to my having been primed by Hilda and Marie, I was thriving. I was glad that Nancy was getting into the swing of things, too. Maybe that would help both her and Craig.
"We'd better get a move on," Mitch said as he finished his coffee. Both he and Craig stood and prepared to leave. Mitch bent and kissed me on the lips, but politely, while Craig told Nancy that he'd see her later.
"What?" Nancy said, overly dramatically. "Donnie gets a kiss from Mitch and I don't get anything?"
I laughed at the remark.
"'Donnie!'" Bev said with a big grin. "That is an adorable name for such an adorable girl."
"That's sweet of you to say." I smiled as Mitch kissed me once more then left with Craig.
"Well, Donnie, I hope that we might impose on you to be our spokeswoman at tomorrow’s luncheon when we inspire the other wives to be involved in our spring charitable event," Bev smiled a smile that indicated that I was going to accept the offer no matter what. "As a matter of fact, Jodi and I have been discussing it, and we’d love for you to be our chairwoman for this spring’s ‘Community Involvement Day.’"
"Oh, gee, Bev." I tried to think of an excuse. "I really don’t know. I mean, what with looking for a new job and all, I’m not really sure where I’ll end up in the spring."
"What’s this!?" Bev seemed horrified. "You are not leaving us, young lady. I just won’t have it! You and Mitchell make a perfect couple. This is just nonsense. Of course you’ll still be here in the spring."
"But..." I started to argue, but her phone rang and she picked it up quickly, eager to shut me up.
She listened for a few moments, then told Jodi that they had to leave to deal with arrangements for the evening’s dinner. Jodi told Nancy and me to enjoy our day, and that they’d see us at the dinner dance that night. Then she whispered to me, "You’re doing a great job with her, dear. Keep up the good work."
When they’d left, Nancy looked at me and shook her head. "How deep are you going to dig this hole, Donnie? These women adore you! Hell, Mitch adores you! You can’t just come into people’s lives like this, win them over, then just disappear! You might be able to go back to your old life, but this is not going to end well for Mitch!"
I felt sick to my stomach. "I know. I just wanted to put on a good show for them then disappear. I didn’t expect that they’d befriend me like this."
We sat in silence for a few moments, then Nancy asked, "What about Mitch?"
"What about him?" I asked. "We’ll just need to figure out a story to tell them about how I got a job offer, or we broke up... we’ll figure it out."
"Donnie." Nancy leaned her elbows on the table and took my hand in hers. "I don’t know how you can possibly not see this, but... Mitch is in love with you."
I laughed nervously. "No, he’s not. He’s just playing along to make them believe our story."
Nancy shook her head. "Donnie, I saw you two dancing last night and I saw him kiss you just now. It may have started out as a game for Mitch, but it’s not that way for him, now." I considered this for a moment or two, then she added, "It’s not that way for you, either. Is it?"
I shrugged, but her words echoed the feelings Mitch and I had discussed less than an hour earlier.
"Donnie, I can see it. You’re more girl than guy, now. Christ almighty, have you looked at yourself in a mirror recently?"
"I’m not..." I began.
"You’re not what? You’re not gay? Let’s face a few facts here, Donnie. You obviously love your new persona, don’t you?"
I nodded.
"I’m only guessing here, but I’d bet that if you had the option of continuing to live looking like this, rather than going back to being a guy, you’d chose this, wouldn’t you?" I didn’t respond. "Wouldn’t you?"
"I don’t know," I said honestly. "I do like looking like this, though."
She nodded. "Of course you do. Hell, I wish that I looked that good. So – maybe you’re not gay. Maybe you really are a girl in a boy’s body, like we used to hear about on talk shows. Maybe you’re not MEANT to be Donald. Maybe you really are meant to be Dawn. Has that ever occurred to you?"
I sighed. "It’s all occurred to me, Nan. Every single possible reason that I’m suddenly happier than I’ve ever been when I should be a nervous wreck. I just... never considered any of it before this past week. It’s a lot to think about."
Just then, I got a text. "What are you doing at two forty five?" I asked her.
"Nothing, I guess. Why?"
"We’re getting our hair done for tonight. Mitch’s treat."
Nancy shook her head. "Why would Mitch pay for me to go to a salon?"
"Because I asked him to," I said, hoping to end the conversation.
She waited for me to go on, but I didn’t, so she said the obvious, "You asked and he said yes because he loves you, Donnie, and I don’t mean in a ‘I love you, bro’ kind of way. I mean, in a ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you’ kind of way. You need to work this all out, one way or the other, Donnie – for both your sakes."
I shook off that thought by joining Nancy and several other wives in some shopping therapy. The resort had several lovely boutiques and gift shops and we wandered in and out of each one. I got to talking with the other wives and I was relieved to find out that several of them actual did hold jobs of their own. Nancy, I believe I mentioned, was a function coordinator at a hotel local to our town – nothing like the resort that we were enjoying at that time – several were teachers in local schools, one was a social worker and one was even a lawyer herself! She specialized in child welfare cases, which paid notoriously poorly, so having a husband making a hefty income at the firm where Mitch worked was very beneficial to her own career.
I was very good and only bought a couple of nice little souvenirs to give to Marie and Hilda. Okay... that’s not quite true. Nancy had only brought one ‘nice’ dress to wear to both the semi formal dinner that evening and the formal dinner a few nights later. I knew that Craig and she had spent more money than they had expected to spend in order to buy some new clothes to get through the week, so she couldn’t really afford to spend any more, but when we found an absolutely PERFECT dress for her to wear to the formal dinner... well, something had to be done about that, didn’t it!? I sent Mitch a text and he was very nice about it, so I charged it to our room and had it sent to Nancy’s room without telling her.
We shopped right through lunch, and found ourselves at the salon just before our appointments. As the hostess led us to our stylists, Nancy laughed, "I have known you most of my life, Donny, and I never once expected that I’d ever be going to a salon to have my hair done with you. I have to say, though, I like it. You’re a great girlfriend."
I smiled. "Nan, I’m just glad that we’re friends again. I really missed you. I know that we’ll never be a couple again, but I’m really happy that we can spend time together as friends."
We started with shampoos. I have to be honest, prior to a week before that day, I had never had a professional stylist wash my hair, but once I’d had my scalp scratched and rubbed and massaged by stylists a few times, I was addicted to it. What a great feeling! I loved it and still do.
We looked at magazines for updo ideas and, since I had never dealt with an updo before, I really didn’t know what to pick. Nancy picked a very pretty bun in the back of her head – ‘a chignon,’ they called it – and for me she suggested a style called ‘a messy bun.’
I luxuriated in the feeling of having my hair manipulated and curled and brushed and sprayed. I never understood why women loved their salon visits before, but I certainly had figured it out by then.
When we were done, Nancy had a pretty, tight, neat bun at the back of her head with an invisible net that had little, artificial pearls on it to enhance the beauty of hairstyle. I had a five or six inch pile of hair on top of my head. Where Nancy’s was tight and perfect, mine was loose and beautiful in its imperfection. Around my face, six or eight little tendrils of hair had been pulled free of and allowed to hang freely about my face. Just as when I’d first had the extensions sewn in, I was amazed by how easily my face was changed just by changing how my hair looked.
It was nearly five o’clock when we walked back into the lobby, just as Mitch and Craig entered with Oscar and Bob. They were all in deep conversation, so we were going to sneak past, but Bob spotted us and called us over with this charmingly misogynistic call, "There are two of the four most beautiful women at this resort! Come on over girls!"
"Your hair!" Craig shook his head as we approached.
"What, you don’t like it?" Nancy patted her bun and teased, knowing that her hair looked great. She kissed Craigs’s cheek and I kissed Mitch’s.
"So, young lady-" Bod smiled as he looked at me with a smirk on his face. "A little bird told me that you were going to be the chairwoman of our spring fundraising event this year."
I looked at Mitch and rolled my eyes. "That little bird doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. I tried to explain to her that I am still looking for a new job and I don’t know where I’ll be in a month. I’ve interviewed all over the country, so... who knows where I’ll be this spring."
"Oh, no, no, no," Bob said, "we can’t allow that to happen, can we, Mitch?"
"She’s her own woman, Bob." Mitch laughed, his arm around me. "She has a lot of options and I’ll support whatever she decides."
"Oh, now." Oscar was still looking closely at me. "Let me ask you this, my dear. If Mitchell, here, offered you an option that would allow you to remain a part of our family, would you be open to that?"
Geez, did these people only ever think about my relationship with Mitch?
Mitch laughed nervously. "No pressure, right, Oscar? Come on, now, you don’t want to put us on the spot, do you?"
"I don’t know," Nancy giggled, "I think you make a very cute couple."
I gave her a look as Mitch said, "I think we’d better go get ready for tonight. We’ll see you all there."
On the way to our room, Mitch told me that introducing Craig to Bev and Jodi as a friend may well have put him on a fast track. That was good, right?
Mitch’s suit was pressed and hanging in our suite. He grabbed it and we both went into the bedroom to change. He teased me mercilessly when he saw me putting on my waist cincher, but once I had my dress on, he was impressed.
It was a soft, sea glass green colored affair, with a plunging neckline, spaghetti straps, but, even though it appeared to wrap around me, it had a zipper in the back. One issue with the dress was that the low cut back meant that it was actually meant to be worn either braless or with a specialty bra that would stay hidden. Randall and Marie had decided that I didn’t need the specialty bra, so the girls on my chest were going commando that night. The material had a gossamer quality to it and it was comprised of layer after layer after layer of these very thin pieces of soft, sheer material. To make it even more beautiful, there was a slit cut mid thigh high in the front.
"It’s too long," Mitch observed. "You’ll be walking all over it."
I rolled my eyes as I slipped my feet into the three inch, white, spiked heels that went with the dress and, to complete the look, I wore my mother’s string of pearls. How did I feel? Like a goddess! Every move made the material in the dress fly away and fall against my skin, again. The coolest part, though, Mitch was as taken with me as I was with the dress.
The dinner was in the man ballroom and featured a nineteen-forties style swing band, a type of music I knew well because Mitch liked Benny Goodman, Glenn Miller, The Andrews Sisters and Cab Calloway almost as much as he liked Taylor Swift.
Dinner was a choice of either prime rib or fish and I tasted a bit of both and both we delicious, but Mitch was all about dancing that night. Luckily, so were a lot of other people. The dance floor was full most of the night. Thing was, though, when I would stop dancing, Bev or Jodi or one of the other wives was always nearby with a sip of something or another. I avoided mai tais as much as I could, but still, a sip of a scorpion bowl here, a sip of a martini there, then add in a few sips of wine, a gulp of a ‘sex on the beach,’ a quick sip of a margarita and an entire blue Hawaiian and I was feeling no pain by ten thirty.
I knew that I was a little past being tipsy, but, thanks to my rather checkered past, I knew how to behave so that people wouldn’t suspect how tanked I really was.
So, the evening wore on and Mitch and I were fielding compliments about our dancing, really I just followed him, and our stamina, we had been dancing for hours, when the band started playing Glenn Miller’s ‘Moonlight Serenade’ and, thank God, we were able to slow things down a bit.
Mitch held me close as we moved around the floor. He looked handsome in his suit and I felt feminine and elegant in my long, flowing dress.
I don’t know exactly why I said what I said. It was probably a combination of the way I felt in the clothes, the way I felt in Mitch’s arms, the way I felt with the warm feeling of the alcohol flowing through me, but whatever the reason, I heard myself say to Mitch, "I’m thinking about not going back to being a guy when we get back."
Mitch looked surprised. "Really? Why?"
I looked up at him and shrugged. "I like this. I like how I feel, now. How people treat me. How people look at me... How I feel when I’m like this... with you."
Mitch held me a little closer, but didn’t say anything.
"You like me better like this, too, don’t you?" I asked. See, I knew that I was saying these things, but I hadn’t really thought any of this through. I just needed to say them, right then, right there and to Mitch. It seemed like the most important thing in the world and nothing I could do would keep my intoxicated mouth shut. "I mean... if I went back to being a guy, we could never be like this again... and... I like this, Mitch. I like this a lot and I want this forever."
He kissed the top of my head, then rested his cheek right where he’d just kissed me. "Donnie... I can’t deny... I love you, whether you’re a guy or a girl, but... yes... this... having you like this... is amazing and I do love it, but... I don’t want to make you... Oh, Geez, this is more than I can figure out... when I see you as a girl... especially tonight, with your hair that way and that dress... it does things to me, Donnie. I can’t even think straight when I’m near you like this... I can’t even explain how I feel."
I rose up on my toes as much as I could and he bent slightly to meet my lips and we kissed. "I feel the same way, Mitch..."
We had to stop talking because the song ended. We all applauded the band, Mitch kissed me again then the band kicked into the biggest of all the Swing Era hits, Benny Goodman’s ‘Sing, Sing, Sing!’ Mitch picked me right up off of the floor and swung me in a circle, eliciting a squeal from me. I landed on the floor and we began to jitter bug to the classic hit as best we could. I remember Mitch’s smile. I remember the amazing feeling of the dress swaying around me. I remember everyone smiling and then, as Hamlet so succinctly put it, ‘The rest is silence.’
The next thing I remember was very early the next morning when I tried to open my eyes, but each attempt caused a rumbling in my head that was so painful that I was afraid that I’d break my skull open if I actually forced my eyelids open. Of course, I knew what this feeling was, but I don’t think I’d had a hangover this intense since my college days of epic overindulgence. I would have liked to have just gone back to sleep until this pain passed, but nature was calling in a rather urgent way. I struggled some more and eventually succeeded getting them open, but focusing took a minute or so, even though the room was dark.
My head ached like it had been kicked a hundred times and it only hurt worse as I raised myself to a seated position. I let my eyes close again for a few moments to try to get my brain working. I did what I always did when I was younger to get a handle on the situation. Start with the day of the week – Friday, no it was Friday the previous night. It was Saturday, yes, it was Saturday. Where was I? I peeked through squinted eyes. I was in the hotel suite in Hawaii. Did I know where the lavatory was? Yes. Could I make it there? Maybe. I had to try.
I opened my eyes as much as possible. I ached everywhere. I ached in odd places. My back hurt. My lower back really hurt. My bottom and the tops of my legs ached, too.
I took a step or two and bumped into something. I focused. It was a bed. Weird. My bed was closest to the bathroom. No time to think about that. Toilet. Toilet, now.
I recalculated my route to the lav and made a beeline for it. I closed the door as I entered, but didn’t dare turn on the lights for fear that they’d make my head explode. I raised the seat and cover, dropped my panties and reached for my penis, but it wasn’t there. I panicked for a moment then searched with my fingers. I was still bound and taped. Why? I should have taken care of that before bed, No time to deal with it at that point, though, I just sat and nature took its course.
As the pressure on my bladder began to ease, I began to wake up a bit more and take stock of myself. Those aches were definitely in my lower back and in my tuchus. Had I just over done it in heels or was I in for a day of King Kamehameha‘s revenge – in other words, diarrhea from too much drinking. No. I didn’t think so. It didn’t feel like that.
I finished my liquid purge and wiped. Wait. Why was I sticky down there? And then I realized that the only things covering my body when I had awaken were a pair of panties and my departed mother’s pearls. What the hell!? I shouldn’t have been parading around in front of Mitch in only...
I began to have a very bad feeling in my gut and suddenly, I was very, very, very sober.
I turned on a light, pushed past the crash of thunder it caused in my head. I squinted to see myself in the mirror and I was not proud of what I saw. My makeup was still on and my lipstick was smeared and messy and, speaking of messy, the ‘messy bun’ that had looked so cute and elegant the night before was a crazy bird’s nest of hair that was falling apart. I began to panic. How drunk had I gotten? What had I done, why did I ache this way...
And then I saw it in the waste basket next to the vanity. It made no sense for a moment. I couldn’t have used that. I was still bound and taped. Why was there a used condom half wrapped up in a tissue in the...
Oh, Jesus Christ, no!
I grew frantic. I went from confused to petrified in less than a second. I pulled the door open and turned on the lights in the bedroom to see if the evidence in the room might calm my fears. It didn’t. The sudden brightness did make Mitch groan in sleepy confusion from his bed, though.
My beautiful, sea glass green gown was in a heap partway between the door and the beds and Mitch’s jacket, shirt and pants were strewn across the floor. I couldn’t even breath for a moment, until I heard Mitch mumble, "What the hell, Donnie?" which drew my attention to that side of the room where the bed I had claimed as my own was still neatly made, but the one beyond it was a mess with blankets thrown to the floor and only a sheet covering part of Mitch – from his toes to his thighs to be precise – and just above that sheet was a very large, somewhat stiff, very, very naked penis.
My jaw worked up and down for a moment, but I couldn’t even produce a squeak.
"What are you doing?" Mitch asked, checking the watch that was still on his wrist. "It’s not even five o’clock yet."
Finally, my voice worked, but it worked at a decibel level I had never used before. "What the fuck did you do to me!?!?" I screamed it like a steam whistle at a factory. It came out of me with the force of rage and indignation and, above all, fear.
Mitch, suddenly wide awake, sat up in bed. "What? What are you talking about?"
"What... what... what..." I was struggling to get control over everything – my voice, my thoughts, my fear... everything. "Mitch? How... how could you have done this to me!?"
Now, fully aware of what was happening, Mitch sprung out of bed, naked and appearing to be much bigger than me and more threatening to me than he’d ever been before. "Oh, Donnie, please..." his voice sounded as if he was pleading for something and that scared me even more. "... please, Donnie, don’t do this to me. This wasn’t my... we both wanted to... please, please, please tell me you weren’t that drunk, please!" He was begging, now, as he reached out to hold me, but I jerked away from him in complete revulsion.
"Don’t you fucking touch me, you sonofabitch!" I screamed as I ran into the lounge, blind with rage and fear and the need to just get away.
Mitch followed, begging me to calm down the whole time. "Donnie! Donnie! Stop! Please! Think back to last night! I didn’t... we talked and we decided... I didn’t do anything you didn’t want me to do!" I could hear that he was on the verge of crying, now, but all I wanted was to be away from him. I ran to the hallway door and opened it, but the safety catch was on, so it caught the door’s swing at just a couple of inches. Good thing, too, or I would have been hysterical and running topless through the hallways.
"Donnie, come on..." Mitch tried to calm me down, but I was having none of it! My adrenaline level was off the charts and I needed to get away from him. He tried, once again to touch me, but I ducked under his arm and I ran to the second bathroom that was off of the Lounge and I slammed the door shut. I locked it before he got to me. He pleaded with me through the door, " Donnie, come on, please! We talked about this last night. We both wanted to do it. Please, open the door and talk to me."
"Go away!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs while I looked desperately for anything to throw at the door. I found a water glass and heaved it with all my might, but it was plastic and just cracked and fell to the ground.
"Donnie... Please, come out and talk to me. I love you, you know I love you." I could tell Mitch was crying, but the rage that I was feeling wasn’t let me listen to him.
"You love me!?" I shrieked even more angered at having heard those words. " then, why did you rape me!?" I felt betrayed. I felt used. I felt alone. I felt trapped. Did he really do that to me!? Had I actually agreed...
Oh, God, what the hell had I done?
To Be Continued...
Hawaiian Retreat - 5
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of decisions about his life, his sexuality, his career and Mitch.
One last Note - the ending of this chapter may seem like the end of the story. It's not. There
is still a little more of Donnie's story to be told.
Author's Note: I'm overwhelmed with the number of comments and emails I have gotten about this story. I really appreciate all the comments, pro and con, and hope that I grow as an author because of your input. Please keep them coming! ~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 5 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 5
"Donnie, come on..." Mitch tried to calm me down, but I was having none of it! My adrenaline level was off the charts and I needed to get away from him. He tried, once again to touch me, but I ducked under his arm and I ran to the second bathroom that was off of the lounge and I slammed the door shut. I locked it before he got to me. He pleaded with me through the door, "Donnie, come on, please! We talked about this last night. We both wanted to do it. Please, open the door and talk to me."
"Go away!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs while I looked desperately for anything to throw at the door. I found a water glass and heaved it with all my might, but it was plastic and just cracked and fell to the ground.
"Donnie... Please, come out and talk to me. I love you, you know I love you." I could tell Mitch was crying, but the rage that I was feeling wasn't letting me listen to him.
"You love me!?" I shrieked even more angered at having heard those words. "Then, why did you rape me!?" I felt betrayed. I felt used. I felt alone. I felt trapped. Did he really do that to me!? Had I actually agreed...
Oh, God, what the hell had I done?
"Donnie, how can you say that? I'd never do anything to hurt you! You know that, Donnie! You know me! Please, come out and talk to me."
"No!" Just kept screaming that word through the door whenever he tried to speak. I'd hear his voice and my immediate response was to shriek the word 'No' as loudly and as long as I could. Now, as I tell this story, I know that I was being irrational and I needed to gather my wits, but then... then I was high on adrenaline, fear and anger and being in the locked bathroom with no windows and only one door made me feel like I was a caged animal - and that's exactly how I behaved.
This pointless exchange, Mitch apologizing, begging and pleading, and me screaming in response, went on for a long time. I had lost all track of anything outside of our horrible duet, but of course, time was moving along and we were expected to appear at breakfast and Mitch was expected to participate in the day's golf game, but neither of us was paying much attention to that.
I swear, while I had myself locked in that lavatory, if you'd asked me how long I'd been there, I would have answered either a few minutes or a few days depending on how angry I was at that moment. I didn't know and I didn't care about anything except my pain and anger until, through the locked door, I heard someone knocking on the suite's hallway door.
Mitch cussed as he made his way to the door. I heard him open it and listened carefully, secretly hoping that someone had heard my screams and called the police. I would serve him right if they hauled him away.
It wasn't the police, though, it was Nancy.
"Hi," I heard Mitch say. "It's... it's not a great time..."
"Oh," Nancy said, and I could hear concern in her voice. "Donnie left without her purse last night. I picked it up."
"Thanks"
"Mitch, what's going on? You guys weren't at breakfast. Everyone's concerned."
I heard Mitch cough. "Um... yeah... we're... we're dealing with some stuff, this morning."
"Is Donnie sick?" I could hear Nancy's voice becoming more forceful. "You look like crap. Let me in. I want to talk to her."
"No, Nancy..." Mitch sputtered. "Like I said... it's not a good time... Hey!"
By the sound of Mitch's voice, I knew that Nancy had pushed past him and was now in that suite.
"Donnie!?" Nancy called out. "Donnie!? Where are you?" Then I heard her say, "God, Mitch, put some clothes on. Where is she?"
"I'm in the bathroom!" I yelled.
"Nancy..." Mitch tried to gain an upper hand in their exchange, but Nancy could be very single minded when she was upset and she was obviously upset at that moment.
Seconds later, she was at the lavatory door, knocking. "Open the door, Donnie."
"No," I replied, with less volume. "Not until he's gone."
Then I heard Mitch, from a distance, he must have been dressing. "I'm not leaving until we talk."
I heard Nancy sigh then ask, "Do you want to talk to Mitch?"
"No!" I shouted. "Not now and not ever!"
Another sigh from Nancy, then, "Just go golfing, Mitch. That's what they expect you to do. I'll talk to her."
Mitch started to argue, but Nancy was forceful. "Do you want them to coming looking for you, Mitch? To see this mess? To hear this shouting? Just go!"
It took him about ten minutes to dress and shave before I heard him leave, but not until asking me one last time to talk to him. I remained silent, though. When the door shut, Nancy said, "He's gone. Come on out, please, Donnie."
I opened the door and watched as Nancy's face changed from concern to shock and then to control. It was then that I realized that she had not seen me this close to naked before. The flat front of my panties and the newly enhanced tear drop shape of my breasts must have been a shock to someone who had seen me naked a thousand times before. Gratefully, she was gracious enough to know that this was not the appropriate time to discuss my body.
"I need a robe," I said, self consciously.
"You sit," Nancy commanded. "I'll get it."
Moments later, we were sitting in the lounge, gazing out at the beautiful mountains of Hawaii and I was wishing that I was back in the cold, dirty snowy darkness of New England.
"So..." Nancy took my right hand in both of hers and gently rubbed it. "... what happened?"
I looked around the room for a solid minute or more while she waited patiently. "I woke up this morning and... I must have blacked out last night... I don't remember much of anything after a certain point. Anyway... Mitch took advantage of that and... he raped me."
Nancy stared at me waiting for more, but I'd told her all I knew.
"Mitch?" she asked, quietly and calmly.
I nodded.
She sat back and thought for a moment. "What is the last thing you remember last night?"
I shrugged. "I had a good time. I remember dancing a lot. I remember talking to Mitch about maybe... maybe... staying... like this and I asked if he liked me better this way. That's about it."
"Do you remember Beverly announcing that you'd be the chairwoman of the spring charity events?"
I rolled my eyes and shook my head.
"How about our little heart to heart?" she asked.
"We... we had a heart to heart?" I was confused. "About what?"
Nancy shook her head and heaved a sigh. "Donnie, last night at about ten thirty, you and I went to the ladies room together. On the way back, you dragged my to a quiet part of the lobby and we talked. We talked a lot."
I put an elbow on the arm of my chair and rested my forehead in my hand, rubbing it. I tried to think through the liquor induced hangover haze and the adrenaline induced shakes. I began to feel overwhelmed and the shakes began to become more difficult to control until I was shaking and suddenly sobbing. I didn't even realize that I was crying until I tried to speak and my voice was distorted by the weeping. "I can't remember anything. What did I say?"
"Hey, hey." Nancy rubbed my shaking back. "It was a good conversation, Donnie. We talked through a lot and I felt better about... us. And then..."
I looked at her, frightened. "And then...what?"
She shrugged. "And then... you told me how you felt about Mitch and how you wanted to stay... like this... and you asked me what I thought about it."
I closed my eyes and tried to think, but it was all a blank. "What did you tell me?"
Nancy was obviously uncomfortable with this conversation. "Look, Donnie..." She was trying to avoid telling me, but I begged her and she nodded. She stood and looked out the window before she spoke and she kept looking out at the beauty of the earth while she recounted what she said.
"I told you... I told you that I couldn't make a decision for you, but that I knew that Mitch loved you... that he loved you like... like a man loves a woman. Of course I didn't mean like what happened after... when... You got back here. I meant that I saw how he looked at you... how he held you, even when he just held you casually... how he kissed you... I said that that kind of love is a once in a lifetime thing and it was right there if you were brave enough to take it."
I think she was avoiding looking at me because her eyes were watering up. "I told you how brave I thought you were being, doing all of this for love, and how lucky you were to have discovered real love - true love - even if you had to work harder than most people did to have that."
I digested all of that and thought about how the scene between Mitch and me in our suite may have played out, but still, I couldn't believe that I would willingly have participated in something so antithetical to what I believed was my real self. It just couldn't have happened unless Mitch forced himself onto me, it just couldn't have.
When Nancy turned to face me, her eyes were brimming with tears, but none had escaped to her cheeks. "Oh, Donnie, the way that you were talking, it sounded like you were ready to... I mean... Donnie, I've known both you and Mitch for so long and I believe that you're feeling like Mitch took advantage of you, but... is it even possible that you might have deem willing to... I mean... Mitch? Rape you? Donnie, I can imagine Mitch doing anything in the world FOR you, but I can't even conceive of a world in which he'd do anything to hurt you, I just can't! Now, please, don't get mad at me, because I believe what you're telling me, I really, really do, but... I remember a lot of nights a decade or so ago when you and I got more than a little drunk and did some pretty outrageous things and the next morning, you didn't remember any of it. I know that blackouts are scary for you, but they're scary for those of us who are with you when you're blacked out and we don't realize it until later. Isn't there just the slightest possibility that maybe, just maybe you and Mitch did this thing... together?"
My tears had slowed, but the shakes came back again. I shook my head and shrugged. "I don't know, Nan, I don't know! I mean... that's what he claimed. He said we talked about it but... Nancy... I think he... I think he was... IN me... I don't think I'd ever agree to that. I wish I could remember..."
There were tissues on the end table. Nancy picked up the box, pulled out a couple for herself and offered me the box. I took it, pulled a tissue, wiped my eyes and blew my nose.
Nancy sat, again. "Donnie... I don't want to be the bad guy... I want to be here for you, but you're not exactly an innocent virgin, are you? I mean, we started to do it with each other when we were like sixteen and..." she took a deep breath, "...even the part that Mitch might have entered isn't exactly virginal, either. I mean... oh, God, this is embarrassing... I mean... I've had fingers up there before and I've even used my vibrator on you a few times. I know, I know, nothing we did ever involved going all the way up in there, but I'm just saying... if you were drunk, uninhibited, feeling feminine and wanting to feel even more like a woman, well... isn't it just possible that you 'wanted' to have Mitch treat you like a woman? I'm not saying that it happened that way... I'm just saying... isn't there just the slightest possibility that it did? And if there is just the slightest possibility, then shouldn't you sit down with Mitch and talk it out?"
I didn't know what to say or do or feel or think, but I knew what I needed. I lowered myself from the seat to the floor and I knelt in front of Nancy, I laid my head in her lap and I left loose, crying unconsolably for God knows how long, while Nancy held me and hugged me and let me cry myself out.
I guess it had been about eight thirty when Nancy had arrived at our suite and it was approaching eleven by the time I had showered and dressed. I was still working on my hair with a blow drier when Bev and Jodi arrived to find out if I was ok. From what I could glean from their conversation in the lounge while they thought I was out of ear shot, they had been texting with Nancy and were aware that Mitch and I had had some sort of a blowout and that I was very upset. Apparently, Nancy had told them that I was now up to receiving company, so here they were.
I unplugged the drier and looked at myself. There was nothing I could do about the puffiness around my eyes, but my makeup was... it was fine... the best I could do, under the circumstances. I was wearing another loose fitting, sleeveless top with teeny-tiny blue flowers printed all about it, that showed off my nicely shaped breasts without being trashy, and it matched my soft blue, mid thigh length, skirt with dozens of narrow pleats. I wore low heeled sandals with this ensemble, even though Randall had chosen a much higher heel for me, but he'd never know.
"Oh, my dear, dear girl!" Bev orated from where she was standing by Nancy's side, her hands clutched you her heart, "Are you alright!?"
Jodi came to me, her arms wide. "You poor thing. Come here. You need a good, hard hug." I certainly got one, too. "I'm so sorry, dear. Here you are in one of the most romantic places on earth and you have a lovers spat."
I laughed as she guided me to a chair. "It was a lot more than a spat, Jodi. We... we had a FIGHT. A big, knock down, drag out FIGHT. It was pretty terrible. I don't know if we can move on from this."
Jodi sat on the arm of my chair and rubbed my shoulders. "Oh, I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think. I know how it feels when you have a fight with your first real love. It's like the world is coming to an end, isn't it? You'll get through it, though."
I looked at Nancy who was looking at me and we both were thinking the same thing. Was Mitch really the first real love of my life? What had Nancy been, then? I thought I'd loved her, I mean... I did love her, but... Geez, why did all of this have to be so damned confusing!?
"I... I've been in a serious relationship before," I said. "This fight, though... it was different. We said... and did things that can't be unsaid or undone. I just don't know if... if I can ever forgive him... or he can ever forgive me... or... most of all... if I can ever forgive... myself."
Bev and Jodi exchanged concerned looks. Jodi patted my hair. "Oh... that does sound serious... but, you know, Bob and I had our share big fights before we felt out our relationship. Everyone does, angel."
"The same with Oscar and me," Bev said, as she sat in the chair next to me. "Of course, when Bob and I met, he was just a law student, and we didn't have a penny between us, but, in a way, that made the stakes even higher. Every penny we spent was scrutinized and we were always just one small mistake from being destitute. We fought like cats and dogs some days, but... when you love each other... you work through it."
"See, Donnie," Jodi tried to console me, "we've all been through it and survived. You will too. I promise."
Nancy nodded. "They're right, Donnie. You just need to talk it out with Mitch and it'll work out."
I sighed. I wished I could actually discuss what had happened, but that was impossible.
"Let's get our minds off of that for now, and talk about the spring fund raising drive," Bev said. Did this woman never listen!?!? I was falling to pieces, but she wanted to talk about her precious fund raiser.
"Oh, Bev, I don't think I can even think about that at this point. After what happened today, I don't know if Mitch and I will even survive this trip let alone be together in six or eight weeks."
"Oh, poo." Bev once again waved off my concerns. "Whether you like it or not, Donnie, you have become a leader amongst the wives. The moment you walked into breakfast that morning, in that silk blouse and gold skirt, every woman on this trip has been enthralled by you. You need to do this for them, Donnie, and for all the kids we can help with the money we raise."
"Kids?" I asked. I'd not heard what the charity in question was.
"Yes." Jodi was still patting my hair. "Every penny we raise goes to arts programs in inner city schools. It's one of our favorite charities."
Bev nodded in agreement. "And with you being an artist yourself..." She let it hang there.
Oh, man, that was a hard thing to say no to. I was a mediocre student at best and I may well have sunk to the level of 'failing student' had it not been for the arts programs at my school. I really would have liked to have helped out, but... "I just don't know." I maintained my resistance. "I'd hate to commit to something this important and then not be able to follow through."
"Let's do this, then," Jodi suggested, "you start the process as our chairwoman with Bev and me working behind the scenes and we'll find someone to be a co-chairwoman who can be the face of the project if you have to bail out at some point. How does that sound?"
I shrugged, but didn't say anything.
"That is an excellent idea, Jodi." Bev stood and walked towards Nancy. "And I know just the woman for the job." She touched Nancy's upper arm. "What do you say, Nancy?"
"Me!?" Nancy was shocked.
"Why not?" Bev smiled. "You're an events coordinator, aren't you? This seems like it would be right up your alley."
Perfect, right! I could find a way out and Nancy could be a hero. Just perfect!
"Yes!" I said enthusiastically. "I'll do it if Nancy does it with me."
I could tell that Nancy was leery of it, but also thrilled to have the opportunity to be able to prove herself to these women.
"Oh... well, then... sure. As long as we do it TOGETHER." Nancy stressed the last word and gave me a sideways, somewhat threatening, glance.
"Excellent!" Bev said, while Jodi applauded. "Let's see, it's noon now and we have a luncheon at two. We'll make another announcement, stating that Nancy will join you as co-chairwoman, and introduce you both. Then you can both give a short speech and ask for the wives to join in and help to get community agencies and businesses involved - you know, offering their services at lower or no costs - and then you can ask for volunteers to be on the organizing committee. Then we can put all of that organizing stuff aside until we get back home and then the meetings can begin. Do you have a computer handy?"
"I have an iPad," I said as I retrieved it from where it sat on its charger.
Jodi took it and opened a page, on the company's website, that was dedicated to previous 'Community Involvement Days.' It was a very large carnival that took place in our city every year, but I never knew who put it all together before. Nancy asked about contractors and suppliers and other things that wouldn't have occurred to me and it seemed like we were off and running.
Later, as we walked to the outdoor luncheon area, Bev and Nancy walked together and discussed logistics while Jodi and I walked behind and discussed my blouse. Who made it, where I got it, how delicate and feminine the little flowered print was... neither of us had the kind of detail-acumen that our counterparts had.
"I think that Nancy is a perfect choice," Jodi whispered. "Bev came up with the idea after breakfast this morning. She has a lot of experience with these kinds of things. With Nancy as your partner, you can concentrate on the 'big picture,' and Nancy can help you implement the infrastructure elements. It'll all work out perfectly."
I still had a lot of doubts. "What if it doesn't, though?"
Jodi laughed. "It always does. Everything in our lives happens for a reason and if we stay true to ourselves and follow through, everything always works out."
I looked at her askance. Was she talking about 'Community Involvement Day' or me and Mitch?
The luncheon was, of course, beautiful and delicious. Now, when I say 'beautiful,' of course I mean that the scenery was breathtaking, but it was all enhanced by the women I was with. Everyone of them took good care of themselves and dressed beautifully. Whether they were older or younger, tall or short, thin or heavier, they had all taken a great deal of care to look and behave beautifully. It was entirely different than being in a group of men, most of whom only dressed to be 'acceptable' and very few of whom could resist a filthy joke or a raunchy story. Here, the humor was pleasant and sincere and the laugher was relaxed and sisterly. There was a certain amount of social posturing going on, of course, but... there was nothing crass or ugly going on. It was all just... lovely.
When the time came for Bev to introduce Nancy and me as the cochairwomen of the spring fundraising campaign Nancy and I rose stood in the middle of the group of women and smiled. I had hoped that Nancy might have something inspiring to say, but instead, she just held her arms towards me to indicate that the floor was mine.
I cleared my throat and for the first time in my life, spoke to a crowd of people. "Hi, everyone. I think I've met all of you. My name is Dawn and I am here with my boyfriend, Mitch, who is an attorney with the firm. This is my friend, Nancy, who is here with her fiancé, Craig, who is an accountant."
I looked for a way to start the pitch for volunteers, but drew a blank, so I just spoke about myself.
"I know that we are new to this group of amazing women, but... see, I was not a great student in high school. I struggled a lot, and my friends, like my friend Nancy, here, who knew me in high school, were all high achievers. But I found that I did have a talent for drawing and an interest in painting and three dimensional art - anything in the visual realm, I just wanted to learn more about it and how to create it. It became my reason for getting up in the morning and going to school. My reason for doing well in other subjects and my goal. I decided that I wanted to become a graphic artist. I went to college for that and, up until a few months ago, when the company I worked for was bought out, I made a good living at it. Now, because of this fundraising effort, I have the opportunity to work with all of you to help other kids, kids like me, to find their own means of expressing themselves. Their means of coping with life. Their connection to others."
I was surprised that I had found these words within me, but all of it was true. I took a breath and wrapped it up.
"Nancy and I are both new to your group and we know that amongst you all there are decades of experience in organizing and executing these kinds of events, so I'm asking you... as someone who admires all of you and wants to be a part of your family of smart, hard working women who want to make a change in their community... please, please help Nancy and me to make this a great event. Please, share your knowledge and experience with us and let's make this a fun and very profitable event for our community. Nancy?"
I stepped back to let Nancy speak, but for a moment she just stared at me in shock. She knew that I'd never been on the spot like that before and she had not expected me to be so well spoken. Neither had I, of course. "Well, ummm.... There's not a lot I can add to that. To tell you the truth, I had no idea that my friend Dawn was capable of being so inspiring! I can't wait to dive into this project and get going, now! But, let me just add this - As Donnie said, this is very new to us and we need all the help we can get, so if you're able to join us to help us plan and execute this very ambitious event, please talk to one or both of us before you leave this luncheon and we'll make a list of names and numbers. After we're back in New England - after we're all unpacked and recovered from this trip, we'll be in touch with you and start our planning. Thank you."
We got a very nice round of applause and the nice thing was that, before we even got back to our table, women were stopping us and we were adding their names and numbers to our phones. The end of the luncheon looked a lot like a receiving line at a wedding with women waiting in line to tell us what a great job we'd done and how happy they'd be to help out. Of course, a lot of them also wanted to talk fashion with me, which was a subject that I had kind of grown to love discussing. It was a lovely day and Bev and Jodi complemented us on how well organized and inspiring we had been in our presentation.
Nancy put her arm around me and said, "Donnie and I have always made a great team," which made me feel both good and a little sad. Maybe if I'd been a more involved boyfriend... who knows.
Nothing was schedule for that evening and Mitch wasn't in the room when I returned. I was exhausted from all of the emotional output of the morning, not to mention the fact that all of the screaming and fighting had begun just after four thirty that morning, so I took off my blouse and skirt and crawled into bed. Before I took a nap, though, I called Marie and Hilda on FaceTime and talked about what had happened. They listened and were very sympathetic, but, just like Nancy, they couldn't conceive of Mitch doing anything to hurt me.
"Donnie," Marie asked, "do you remember the party after the homecoming game in our junior year?"
I thought for a moment and said, "Not really. I remember what I was told about it, but I don't remember what I actually did that night."
"What did he do?" Hilda asked.
Marie shook her head. "He got hammered on Jack Daniels and decided to go from the balcony of room we were in, on the sixth floor of the dorm, all the way to the top floor by climbing on the outside of the building. He jumped from the railing of one balcony to grab the floor next one above it and pulled himself up."
"Jesus, Donnie, that sounds pretty dangerous." Hilda was shocked.
"It was," Marie said. "I was on the ground watching and shouting for him to stop. He scared the crap out of me."
Hilda looked at Marie and asked, "Did he make it all the way to the roof?"
Marie shook her head. "Only three floors. Then Mitch saw him and ran up through the building, got out onto the right balcony, got a hold of him and brought him back down through the stairwell. If Campus Security had caught him, he could have been expelled for it. Mitch made him vow never to get that drunk again, which of course, was something he couldn't live up to, but he never got so drunk that he became 'Donnie, The Human Fly' again."
That story always filled me with conflicting feelings of shame and a little, stupid pride.
Marie made her point. "Look, Donnie, when you drink hard alcohol, we can't always tell you're drunk. You have a tendency to look and behave normally, but then you just seem to enter an almost manic phase and you just act on any impulse that comes to you. Before you throw away your friendship with Mitch, I think you'd better have a long, long, long, long talk about everything - What happened, why it happened, what was said, who did what... all of it. Then make up your mind."
I had calmed down to the point that I agreed and we said goodbye. I pulled a blanket up and settled in for a quick nap - twenty or thirty minutes was my goal.
I woke up an hour and a half later. Even though he was being quiet, I could sense that Mitch was in the lounge, so I took a few moments to redress in what I had been wearing, touch up my makeup and brush my hair before I joined him. He was reading something on his iPad when I entered and sat in the chair next to him, not knowing what to say.
"Hi," I whispered, as I folded my legs under me.
"Hi," Mitch responded very quietly.
That was all that was said for a good couple of minutes until Mitch said, "I heard that you and Nancy took over the fundraiser."
I nodded.
"So, does that mean you'll be staying around after we get back?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I'm I'll trying to figure everything out."
Mitch closed the cover of his iPad and thought for a few moments. When he spoke, it was quiet and sad. "Look, Donnie... I didn't... I would never, ever do anything like..." he couldn't even bring himself to say the word rape. "... I would never hurt you. I love you, Don, and like I said last night, I want you to be happy... with me... always."
I nodded. "I still don't know quite what to think, Mitch. I never thought I'd ever do something like that and, to be honest, I still can't believe I did..."
"Donnie, we talked about it for almost an hour before anything happened..." Mitch started to protest, but I asked him to let me finish what I had to say.
"But the thing is," I said, "I know you a lot better than I know myself, Mitch, and I know that... you're a great guy who wouldn't have done what I accused you of. I'm sorry for that, Mitch... I just... I just can't get my head around having done that."
Mitch nodded. "Look, Donnie, I'm sorry, too. I was a little drunk, but I had no idea that you weren't really with me. You said all the right things, you know? You acted like we were doing what we both wanted. Do you... Do you think that we can put this behind us and move on?"
I shook my head. "I think we need to talk about it, Mitch. I need to know exactly what happened, but I'm really not up to that tonight. Tomorrow, though, when you get back from your game, we need to discuss it from beginning to end. Right now, I'm starving and I want to get something to eat and go for a walk on the beach and... I'd kind of like you to come with me, but only if you want to."
Mitch stood up and offered me a hand. "That sounds perfect."
It's hard to explain exactly how I felt at that moment. I think I had come to terms with the fact that whatever had happened the night before, I couldn't hold Mitchell solely responsible for it. Whatever had happened, I think I might have been a willing participant. After all, I had been entertaining ideas of how I might remain as a woman, so the idea that I may have been uninhibited, because of the amount of alcohol I had consumed, enough to have taken everything to another level, wasn't all that far-fetched.
There was something else about the situation that was beginning to convince me that Mitch wasn't the bad guy in all of this, as well. See, when you're a blackout drunk and you drink so much that your conscious brain shuts down, you wake up the next day and you may not be able to remember exactly what happened, but sometimes, you may start to recall bits and pieces. When that happens, you get a feeling in your stomach that tells you if everything was OK, or if you really went off the rails and did some pretty awful stuff. I knew both feelings well and my gut was telling me that we hadn't done anything wrong. Now, that's not the kind of evidence you can take to court, but it was something I had to rely on in order to function and get a handle on everything thing that had overwhelmed me earlier in the day.
We ate at an outdoor restaurant at the resort, overlooking the beach. Conversation was a little bit hard to get into, since we both had bigger things to deal with at that moment. Mitch told me about his golf game, he was one of the leading contenders for the big prize. There were still plenty of chances for other guys to steal the big prize from him, but he was happy that, no matter what, he would be finishing near the top of the pack.
We spoke about my new position as co-chairwoman. I assured him that I would be stepping aside if I needed to and that Nancy could handle it without me if need be.
We had seared ono fish with a honey soy glaze that was probably the best thing I had ever put into my mouth up until that point, and as the dinner went on, we found that the conversation was easier, but there was still a distance there.
After dinner, we took a walk on the beach. It was truly beautiful, the moon shining on the water, the waves lapping on the shore, the palm trees silhouetted against the bright, night sky. It was gorgeous.
There were chairs placed in twos here and there about the beach. Mitch told me to sit and enjoy the view while he got us dessert. He did offer me a drink, but I had made up my mind that alcohol was out for the rest of the trip. Instead, he brought me a treat called 'Shave Ice,' essentially a snow cone with really fruity juice poured onto it. It was delicious and sitting on the beach with the evening breeze playing across my arms and legs while eating this treat was fantastic. It was a lovely way to unwind after a long, hard day of trying to get my head around what had happened the night before.
In fact, some of the previous evening was popping in and out of my consciousness. I remembered the conversation that Nancy had mentioned - at least I remembered having the conversation, the subject of it was still pretty fuzzy, but I could remember being in a quiet part of the lobby and talking.
"Aloha, you two!" Jodi called as she walked across the sand from the bar/snack bar area. "It's a beautiful night, isn't it?"
I smiled as Mitch rose and kissed her cheek. "It sure is," he answered her.
"Mitch, I hate to interrupt, but Bob has some kind of a question about that Rand case. Could you just give him five minutes of your time? I'd be forever grateful." Jodi sat in the chair Mitch had just vacated, knowing he'd give Bob a hand. "He's over at the bar."
Mitch looked at me and winked. "I'll be back in five minutes." He bent and kissed me and, in spite of how upset I'd been earlier in the day, I kissed him back. It felt nice - like a normality had been restored.
When Mitch had gotten out of ear shot, Jodi looked at me and her smile turned serious. "So... all happy again?"
I looked back to Mitch and shrugged. "I'm not sure, but... I'm figuring things out."
She smiled and took my hand. "Look, sweetheart, I don't know what happened between you two, but... can I tell you a story?"
I nodded.
Jodi thought for a moment before saying, "When I first met Bob, he was a fifty four year old divorcee and I was a twenty three year old waitress with a bachelor's degree in communications and very few prospects. My father hated Bob, who is a year older than my dad, by the way, and my friends thought I was nuts and Beverly... well, let’s just say that Bev was not a fan of mine at first." She laughed at the memory of that.
I was surprised to hear Jodi being so forthright about her relationship, but I was curious as to where she was headed with it.
"The thing was, though... I really liked Bob. I liked him a lot. So, I kept dating him and , pretty soon... I loved him. I really loved him. I wasn’t infatuated, and I certainly wasn’t interested in his money, I... just... loved him."
Jodi looked over towards Bob and Mitch and shook her head. "I still do. Oh, I know a lot of people don’t believe it, but I really do. And it’s not just because he’s rich... I know that’s what people say, but... when I’m with Bob... I feel... safe and warm and happy. The same way you feel with Mitch."
I was suddenly startled by that statement. Until that morning, she was right - I’d always felt safe with Mitch. The idea that I was questioning that was what had shaken me.
"I’m right, aren’t I?" She took my hand and waited for an answer.
"Yes," I finally said.
She smiled at me. "That’s what I thought." She looked back over at Bob and Mitch who seemed to be finished with whatever they were talking about and headed towards us. "Then whatever came between you two this morning is nothing compared to finding someone you love. Just remember that and... and... don’t worry about what he did or said or what you did or you said or whatever happened and... don’t worry about a new job or the fundraiser or anything else. Just... do what’s right for you... like I did with Bob... and hold on to your love. Ok?"
By now, Mitch and Bob were only a few feet away from us, so Jodi switched the topic as if we’d never mentioned anything about Mitch and me. "... I could never wear something sleeveless, dear. My upper arms are way too flabby, but those adorable little flowers are just so pretty and... oh, the men are back! I’ll leave you two in peace. All set, Bob?"
"All set, dear," Bob smiled. "I’m sorry that we interrupted your evening, young lady. We’ll leave you to it and get out of your hair. Good night, kids."
Mitch and I both said goodnight and we headed back to the resort, too, but via a different route.
"So, what was that all about?" Mitch asked with a chuckle as we strolled along the tiki torch lit pathway.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"Well, the Rand case didn’t need any attention and Bob said that Jodi just wanted to talk to you."
I laughed. "Oh, it was just about the fundraiser committees. Nothing important."
He chuckled as we entered the lobby. "Hang on. I got a text that there’s a package at the front desk for me."
I stood aside and waited for the clerk to get Mitch a small, cardboard box with postage on it.
"What’s that?" I asked.
He ripped through the tape and pulled out a pair of gold and onyx cuff links. "I forgot my cuff links and I’m wearing my tux on Tuesday for the formal dinner. I had my mom overnight them to me."
I laughed as we walked. "You could have gotten some here, you know."
Mitch looked confused. "Yeah... but these are... oh, never mind."
I looked at him and he was obviously a little miffed about something. "What? What did I say?"
Mitch sighed. "Nothing, it’s just that... you gave me these and... well, they’re the only ones I ever wear with my tux."
I blinked in total bewilderment. "I gave you them? When?"
We got into the elevator and he shook his head. "Remember when your grandfather died and I helped you clean his house out? I said they were really nice and you told me to keep them."
I must have looked completely baffled. "Mitch... we were like seventeen. I can’t believe you remember that."
He shook his head as he slipped the keycard into the door of our suite. "I think about it every time I wear my tux."
"How often do you wear a tux?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Once or twice a month." He shook his head again. "Never mind. It just means a lot to me. I thought you’d appreciate it, too. Obviously, it doesn’t mean anything to you, though, so just forget it."
I watched as he put the box into a drawer in his bureau. Something I had said had upset him. "Mitch, did I say something to make you mad? I didn’t mean to."
"No," he said, but that wasn’t true.
"Seriously, Mitch," I asked, "what did I say?"
He huffed, "Look, Donnie, I know that you’re going through a lot right now and I’m trying to be supportive and patient, but... Goddamnit, after years of friendship... you never once realized how thoughtful my gifts were. How I bought you ties to match your eyes, or brought you to see art exhibits that you wanted to see. And now, when I mention what I thought was the most thoughtful gift you’d ever given to me, the cuff links obviously mean nothing to you, and... Ahh, forget it."
I felt terrible, but this seemed to be the right time to get all of this out. "No, Mitch. Say it. We need to be honest with each other."
He shook his head and sat on the bed. "Donnie... I didn’t know that you were flying on autopilot last night, ok? and I... oh, fuck it, I can’t believe that you’d accuse me of doing anything to hurt you. I was brutally honest with you. I poured my heart out to you and told you how much you meant to me and then... I know you were upset and all, but... I don’t deserve to be treated the way you treated me this morning. That’s all. I’m done. I’m going to get ready for bed, now."
"Mitch..." I said, heartbroken that everything he’d said was true and that I’d been a thoughtless ass for so long. "I... I..."
"Never mind," he said as he headed to the lavatory.
"Seriously, Mitch..." I was on the verge of tears. "... I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean... I mean..."
"No, just forget it," Mitch said. "I shouldn’t have said anything. This whole thing is just frustrating and impossible and talking about it just makes it worse, so..." he groaned. "I’m sorry I brought it up. I was being too thin skinned, ok? I need to man up and start being less sensitive. I get it. I understand it. I will shut up about it from now on, so just go to bed." He went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, leaving me to wipe tears from my cheeks.
He was quiet when he came out of the lavatory. I went in and performed my forty minute ablutions and when I came out Mitch was nowhere to be found. I crawled under the covers and thought about what a rollercoaster of emotions the day had been. I mean, I started the day feeling like a victim, then felt like we might be able to work everything out and ended the day as the bad guy.
I rolled onto my left side and saw Mitch’s empty bed and wondered where he was. I thought about texting him, but if he’d wanted me to know where he went, then he would have told me.
Just as I was starting to drift off, I heard the hallway door open and close. Then I felt Mitch sit on the edge of my bed and I turned to look at him.
"Hi," he said, quietly.
"Hi," I said the same way.
He sighed, "Hey, Umm... I know I was being pretty childish before... I... well, I’m sorry. Of course I want to talk this all out, Donnie. Even if we’re never going to be.. together... I still want to be friends."
I rolled onto my back. "Mitch..."
He held up his hand to stop me. "No, look, I just went to talk to Bob and Oscar and I’m not playing golf tomorrow. I’ve already ordered breakfast to be delivered to our room and we’ll spend the day together, talking, until we’re both comfortable with where we are in this whole thing."
"Oh, no, Mitch," I shook my head, "you wanted to win that vacation time. Go and play your game. We can talk after that."
He shook his head. "No, Donnie. You mean much more to me than a week of vacation and I want to work this out. You’ve changed everything about yourself to help me out. I owe you my time and attention for at least a day."
I felt terrible that he was throwing away his chance to win. "Are you sure."
He nodded and small smile played on his lips. "Besides, I’m so far ahead that this will give the other guys a chance to catch up."
That made me chuckle just a little. Mitch was a very good golfer, he was probably telling the truth. I reached up and touched the scratchy endof -day beard on his face. "Thanks."
He shrugged. "I love you, Donnie. When you love each other, you make time for each other. We’ll talk tomorrow."
"But..." I wanted to be sure, "... you said that talking just makes things worse."
He shrugged. "I was hurt and mad, Donnie. It happens. Even to me." He smiled and I felt better.
I smiled a little, too.
Mitch started to get up, but I grabbed his hand. ‘Kiss me goodnight?" I asked, a little desperate for something I’d denied myself all day.
He bent low and gave me a soft, warm kiss and I immediately felt better. Maybe this was love.
I had a fitful night. I woke up from dreams... or maybe memories... that confused me. In them, I was always with Mitch and we... we’d gone beyond kissing. I was touching him and he was touching me... like a man and a woman. The thing that made it feel more like a memory than a dream was the feelings. I could remember the feel of his skin. The feel of his breath. The feel of... everything.
I woke on Sunday morning to the smell of food and the sound of the room service delivery person leaving. I got up and wrapped my sheer robe around me and went into the lounge where Mitch had set breakfast up in the little breakfast nook in the corner.
"You’re up?" Mitch smiled. "I didn’t want to wake you."
I shrugged. "I smelled the food. It smells good. I wouldn’t want it to get cold."
Mitch pulled out a chair for me. "Come and sit. We have a long day ahead of us."
During breakfast, we focused our conversation on the food, which was delicious. We talked about the tiny, fluffy waffles, the tart mix of passion fruit, orange and mango juices in the carafe, the fresh, sweet strawberries, everything that was set before us, until we’d finished breakfast and put the trays back on their cart and pushed that out in the hallway. When the door closed, the ‘Please, Do Not Disturb’ sigh was hanging from the hallway door knob.
Mitch set up some chairs on our balcony and we sat down facing each other, me in my chemise style nightie and silk robe, Mitch in a tee shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. We stared at each other until Mitch spoke.
"Ok... I’d like to start with something other than the other night. Namely... Donnie... I don’t think of myself as gay. I’ve always thought women were amazing and I fantasize about them all the time and I have never fantasized about men... with one exception... I have always loved you... and I don’t mean like a guy loves a friend. I mean..." he took a deep breath. "... I have always loved you and wanted to be with you, but... I just couldn’t say something like that to you. Even before you looked like this, I’ve always loved you and wished that things could be different. But you have to believe me – when I asked you to do this for me... I never for a moment thought things would go the way they did. Maybe the dresses and the makeup and... I mean... God... everything about the way you look and move and smell... maybe it all just got me carried away. I’m sorry if I went too far and upset you. Please forgive me. I just hope that we can still be friends... you know... after all of this is over."
Wow! That was a lot to reply to, right!? I just blinked for a few moments.
"So..." I sputtered. "... I’m not sure where to start unwrapping all of that. I mean... was all of this a set up, then?"
Mitch shook his head. "No, not at all, Donnie. I swear that’s the truth. Think back to the night we went to that Halloween party with Hilda and Marie. I wasn’t even involved in that costume decision. If we hadn’t run into those guys from the firm and Marie hadn’t put us on the spot, none of this would have happened. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have let people think that I was still seeing ‘Dawn,’ but... there’s something about you also ‘Dawn,’ Donnie. People just seem to like you. They wanted you to come back and... frankly, I did too, I guess, but I just thought this would be a great week together, then we’d go right back to the way things were."
This may sound fishy when I say it, but as I sat there, I could see Mitch’s face and I knew that he was telling me the truth. I could see it in his eyes. So, I nodded and took a deep breath. "Mitch... we’ve been best friends since we were kids. If you felt that way about me... why didn’t you say anything?"
He chuckled at that. "I tried, Donnie. I told you I loved you nearly every time I saw you..."
"Yeah, but that was just you being funny because my mom made Marie and me say that all the time."
"That’s what it was to you, Donnie... never to me. I meant it.
I shook my head and tried to remember any time that Mitch has sounded insincere when he told me he loved me. I couldn’t. Again he was telling the truth.
"Besides," Mitch said, looking out at the mountains and the ocean, "you had Nancy and you two were happy. I would never have done anything to come between you guys."
"Why not after Nancy left, then?" I asked.
Mitch shrugged. "Donnie... I don’t think of myself as gay... or even straight, really. I’m just a guy who found the love of his life when he was a kid. Unfortunately... that was you and you were my best friend. If I’d told you and you’d freaked... I would have lost you forever – both as a friend and as the love of my life. I couldn’t risk it."
I nodded and thought.
Mitch thought, too, but couldn’t help but keep explaining. "Remember that night that Marie made us kiss each other? Until that moment, Donnie, I never once thought about you in a sexual way. Until then, I just always knew that I wanted to be with you... I don’t know... it’s hard to explain..."
I interrupted him. "No, I get it, Mitch... alright, let me be honest now, ok?"
I gathered my thoughts. "Ok... so... growing up with three sisters, well... I mean, I knew about how girls acted and all and, being on the short side, I guess I always had a little bit of a Napoleon complex, you know? Like I had to out drink and out prank everyone. Well, you know that last Halloween wasn’t the first time I’d gone out to a party as a girl. So, that didn’t bother me at all and when you asked me to come on this trip as your girlfriend... I mean I felt a little weird about it, but... well, I figured a trip to Hawaii with my buddy would be fun."
I thought for a moment before I continued. "Look, Mitch... these clothes, the hair, the makeup... they did something to me, Mitch. They changed me, they really did. I mean, I’m not the same guy I was before. I’m not... I’m not a guy, anymore, Mitch... I mean I really don’t feel like a man at all any more. I feel like a woman and it’s scary, Mitch. It’s scary as hell! I don’t know who I am, I don’t know what I want, but... ok... That night... the night you mentioned... the night that Marie made us kiss... something inside me broke. I mean that in a good way, though. I mean... like... something that was trapped inside me broke and freed itself in me and made me see things... differently."
When I stayed quiet, Mitch asked, "What kind of things? I mean, what seemed different?"
Now, it was my turn to avoid eye contact and look out at the mountains and ocean. "Me," I confessed. "I was different. Everything about me was different." I looked at the palm trees blowing near the white sand. "And you. You were different, too."
I sighed and looked at him. "Mitch... I never was a self reflective person before. Self centered, yes. Self pitying, oh, yeah, I had that down, but... this has forced me to face a lot of truths about myself and... Mitch... I love you, too, but... look, I mean, I’ve always loved you, but never like I do now. Now..." I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. "Jesus, Mitch... why am I a guy? This would have been so much easier if I were a woman? What kind of messed up world do we live in if we can’t be together?"
Holy cow! Where the hell had that come from, right!? I couldn’t believe I’d actually said that.
Mitch leaned forward and took my hand. "Donnie, we CAN be together. Either as a gay couple or like this. I don’t care. If you want to go back to being a guy, I’m fine with that. If you want to stay like this forever, I’m fine with that, too. I just..." he took a deep breath and let it out. "Let’s just... be together."
I nodded, but took my hand back from him and sat back in my chair. I wrapped my robe around me and sniffled back some tears. "Mitch... we need to talk about the other night. I need to know what happened."
He nodded. "What do you remember?"
I looked around and thought. "I remember dancing with you and I remember I told you that I was going to stay looking like this when we got home."
"Did you mean that?" he asked.
I nodded. "I don’t remember a lot after that. I mean... I remember talking to Nancy in the lobby, but I don’t remember what we talked about. I get flashes of things that happened once we got back here. I remember touching you... down there. I remember you touching and kissing my breasts. Not much else. What about you?"
Mitch took a drink of the juice he’d had left over from breakfast and spoke slowly. "Well... we’d both had a few drinks, but.. Donnie... when you go onto autopilot... I can’t always tell, you know? I mean, you didn’t seem any different. You’d been really touchy and kind of romantic all night, so when you started to get really... frisky... I thought you were just pushing things further and, to be honest, I wanted to push things further, too."
"When we got back here, I hadn’t even closed the door before you’d unzipped your gown and you were standing there in just your panties with your dress around your feet. I couldn’t even breathe for a minute, when I saw you."
I shook my head. All the time that I’d wanted to present myself as a good girl and the first chance I got, I’d turned into a tramp. "My panties AND my mother’s pearls." I chuckled. "I put on my sainted mother’s pearls and turned into a slut."
Mitch shook his head. "No. It wasn’t like that, Donnie. You weren’t being slutty... you were in love, and so was I, and that’s why we sat on the bed and talked for a really long time. You told me that you were one hundred percent sure that you wanted to be a girl and that you were one hundred percent sure that you wanted to be with me. Then... we kissed and... one thing led to another and... most of it was your idea."
I nodded. "I remember you kissed my breasts. Did I... did I..." I breathed heavily. "Did I go down on you... your... did I give you oral?"
Mitch nodded.
Strangely, I didn’t feel as uncomfortable about that as I thought I might. So I just nodded.
"Did I... did you, I mean... did you... penetrate... me?" I knew that that was a horrible way to phrase that question, but it was the best I could do.
Mitch sighed at the crassness of the question. "Well, yes and no. I mean... you jumped out of bed and ran into the vanity where you’d seen that the hotel had stocked a drawer with condoms, then you came back and you put one on me. You lubbed it up with mineral oil and you climbed on top of me and lowered yourself onto... So, yeah... I ‘penetrated you,’ but... I didn’t put a ton of effort into it."
Just the way he’d told me the story, the tone of his voice, the way he looked at me, I knew he was telling the truth. I stood up and leaned on the railing. I was in paradise and I was with someone I loved. Everything he’d told me made perfect sense, so why had I spent an entire day tearing Mitch and myself to pieces?
"I’m sorry, Mitch. I’m sorry about yesterday and what I said. I’m sorry that I never noticed the cuff links or the ties that matched my eyes or the way you told me you loved me a dozen times a day. I’m so sorry."
Mitch stood and leaned against the railing next to me. He tightened his lips into a concerned smile. "I think we’re good, Donnie. How about you?"
I nodded and he pulled me into a hug as he asked, "So... what do we do now?"
I smiled and leaned on his shoulder and I said in a seductive voice, "I know what I want to do."
He shook his head. "Not yet. We need to think about everything we just talked about before we jump back into bed."
I looked appalled. "Not that! What’s wrong with you!? No, I want to go swimming, Mitch! We’ve been here since Thursday and we haven’t gone to the beach to go swimming once! Come on, let’s go swimming."
"Swimming?" I think I’d thrown Mitch off with my sudden change of direction.
"Yeah, come on, please. No one wants to go into the water, so I haven’t gone swimming one time. Here we are with the warm Pacific Ocean surrounding us and we haven’t even gone swimming. Come on."
He smiled and blushed a bit. God, he was adorable when he blushed. "Sounds great."
When you grow up in New England, you’re used to beaches with course sand or rocks and water that only approaches warm in late August. The beach at the resort in Hawaii had white sand that felt like I was walking on sugar and the water was warm and inviting. It was hard to believe that it was bitter cold back home while swimming in this clear, blue splendor.
Mitch wore some tasteful board shorts and I wore my pretty two piece and we spent several hours swimming and frolicking – I know that’s a silly word, but it kind of fits. We frolicked. A young man from the resort taught us how to stand on a surf board. Mitch went out into the waves and gave surfing a shot. He managed to stand up and stay up once, but he felt that was plenty and gave up.
We had a late lunch at the same beachside counter where Mitch had purchased my shave ice the previous evening. When we carried our tray of food into the table area, we ran into a colleague of Mitch’s named Ray and his wife, Alyssa, so we sat with them and chatted. Ray had taken a day off from golfing, too, but he laughed about it saying that he was so far back in the standings that he didn’t stand a chance of winning the vacation time.
As Mitch and Ray got onto work conversations, I chatted about this and that with Alyssa. Mostly about the resort and shopping at first, but then we talked about work. Alyssa was one of the wives with a job. She was a teacher at a private elementary school in our town. She taught fourth grade and seemed to love her job.
I told her about my struggles to find a new job as a graphic artist and she was sympathetic. "Do you have a degree in art?" she asked.
"Yes. I have a BA with a concentration in graphic art from Umass."
She nodded and thought for a moment. "I know this is probably coming out of the blue, but let me throw it out there, anyway. The art teacher at my school had to leave rather suddenly a few weeks ago – her husband is in the military and got reassigned – and we’ve been trying to find someone that would fit in with the faculty and know how to teach art. Might you be interested in that?"
I was shocked. "Teach? Me? I don’t know. I’ve never taught before and I’m not certified or anything."
Alyssa laughed, "You only need to be certified to teach in a public school and you’d be teaching kids – not high school students. Teach them to draw or paint or sculpture with air-dry clay. Mostly, it’s just an introduction to art. I think you’d like it."
I thought about it for a moment. I’d need to remain a woman to do it, but that would be ok. I’d need my tax information and everything to be corrected for ‘Dawn’ instead of ‘Donald,’ but I bet Mitch could help with that. "Could I sleep on this and talk to you about it tomorrow?" I asked.
"Sure. Just between you and me, my principal laid the responsibility for finding a replacement in my lap. I’m the assistant principal as well as a teacher, so I have a slightly reduced workload and a slightly higher pay."
That struck a note! "Speaking of pay," I grimaced a bit dramatically, "what would a job like this pay?"
She smiled and waved a hand to indicate that I shouldn’t be embarrassed to ask. "Of course, we can’t pay what the public schools do, but as a starting teacher with a bachelor’s degree, you’d start at forty seven thousand dollars. I hope that’s not too insulting."
Insulting! That’s not the word that came to my mind. Yeah, it would be less than I had been making, but not by much!!! I wanted to shriek ‘Yes! Yes! I’ll take it!’ But there were logistics involved, so I needed to talk to Mitch. I promised an answer the next morning.
We spent the rest of the day lounging on the beach on chaises, talking and I began to feel like things were going back to normal between Mitch and me. I asked him about the possibility of having my name changed on my taxes, which, of course, lead to me having to explain about the job offer from Alyssa.
"So, what are you saying?" Mitch turned toward me and looked me in the eye, "are telling me that Dawn is actually here to stay?"
"I think so." I shrugged. "I like me a lot better like this."
He nodded. "And you’re not just doing this for a moderately well paid job, right?"
I smirked at him. "I thought it was a PRETTY WELL PAID job, actually, but no, that’s not the reason. I want to stay this way."
"Ok," Mitch nodded. "Well, there are plenty of people who present as the opposite sex and the process of having your name legally changed is pretty straight ahead. I can take of it for you if you want me to."
"That would be great, Mitch, thank you." I squeezed his hand and let go, but he held my hand and didn’t release it.
"Can I ask you a question?" He sat up on his chaise so that he was facing me.
"Sure."
"Well, to be frank... if I was your financial adviser, I’d have to tell you that your really can’t afford to continue paying the mortgage amount you’re paying on that salary. I’d really have to advise you to sell your place."
I sighed. All of this was done to not only help Mitch with his job, but to help me keep my house. "Alright. I’ll have to look for a smaller place."
"Or..." Mitch said, oddly. "... this brings me to my question. Why don’t you move in with me?"
I blinked at him, confused. "Like... as you’re... girlfriend?"
"Hmmm," he hummed as he bobbed his head from side to side, thinking. "Or... as my wife. Or my husband. Whatever. I want to be with you, Donnie. I want to take care of you. I kind of wanted to do this differently, but since it came up..." he took my little hand in his big paw and kissed it. "Will you marry me?"
It was like the earth opened up underneath me. Like I was in free fall. My heartbeat quickened and head spun. I sputters as I tried to figure out what I wanted. "I... I... I..."
Mitch smiled at my astonishment. "Wait here," he laughed. "I’ll be right back."
Right back? Where the hell was he going!? Stay here!? I didn’t think I could stand, my legs were so weak at that moment, but off he ran.
Seconds later, a very concerned Jodi appeared and she was agitated. "Are you ok?" She asked, out of breath.
"Am I...? I don’t know what’s happening. Where’s Mitch gone?" I was still completely flustered.
"I don’t know, honey." Jodi took my hand in hers. "But are you ok? Mitch was hustling past me and told me to come make sure that you were ok and to make sure that you didn’t leave. Were you sick or something?"
I shook my head. "I’m not sure, Jodi. I mean, yes... I mean, no, I’m fine, but... I don’t know what Mitch... he just... he just asked me..."
Jodi’s eyes shot wide open. "He ASKED you!? Are you serious? Did he just ask you... to MARRY HIM!?!? Oh, my God! You said ‘yes,’ didn’t you!?"
I stuttered in response. "I... I... I... I didn’t answer. I was so shocked."
Jodi laughed at that. "Oh, you poor baby! How could you have not seen that coming. Where did he go, though?"
I had no choice but to laugh at Jodi’s laughter. "I don’t know. He said he’d be right back."
Bev had appeared by this time, I assumed that she couldn’t keep up with her younger friend. "What’s going on?" she asked very concerned. "Is she ok?"
"She’s fine!" Jodi laughed. "Mitch just proposed!"
"Oh, my God!" Bev echoed her friend’s reaction. "Where did he run off to?"
At this point my head was spinning. My life was running away from me and I wasn’t sure what I wanted.
"You said ‘yes,’ didn’t you?" Bev asked me, but before I could answer, she turned to Jodi, "She said ‘yes,’ didn’t she?"
Jodi shrugged. "She said she didn’t answer him. She said she was shocked."
"Shocked?" Bev scoffed. "Everyone here expected it, why didn’t she?" Again, not waiting for an answer, she looked back at me. "Why didn’t you expect it?"
I thought I was going to pass out with confusion. Now Bob and Oscar were there and talking to their wives. I ignored them, though and I focused. Did I love Mitch? Yes, unquestionably. Did Mitch love me? Yes, unquestionably. Did I want to remain a woman? Yes, I thought I did, but Mitch said he didn’t care if I was his wife or his husband. He wanted me either way. Did I want to be his husband? No, I didn’t. I really didn’t. Did I want to be his wife? I thought I might. I thought I did. I thought I most definitely did. I wanted it a lot. An awful lot. I wanted it more than anything. Yes! I wanted to be Mitch’s wife. I knew it for sure, now, but... where the heck was Mitch! I wanted to tell him before he changed his mind.
"Here he comes, now," Bob said.
"Good heavens," Oscar laughed, "I had no idea he was a track star. Look at that boy run!"
Within seconds, Mitch was back with a big smile on his face. "Hi," smiled. "I’m back." No one moved. "Thank you for keeping her company." They all smiled and just stood there. "Umm, do you think that I could have a few minutes alone with Dawn?"
"Oh, yes, of course," Oscar said and Bob muttered something similar and the made to leave, but Bev and Jodi stood firm. "Aren’t you coming?"
Beverly gave him a double take. "What? Leave now? No. We’re staying right here. Go ahead, Mitchell. We’re here to support you both."
Mitch was kind of shocked that they weren’t leaving. He looked to their husbands who shrugged, so Mitch looked at me and shrugged, as well. By this point, I was sitting on the edge of the chaise, excited and scared.
"Alright, then." Mitch smiled a playful smile and his amazing, blue eyes were sparkling with moonlight and excitement. "Donnie... we’ve known each other since second grade and, well... you know I love you and, well... I can’t imagine life without you, so..." and you know what that big, romantic sap did? Got down on one knee, right there in the sand, which, of course, caught the attention of nearly everyone on the beach, so within seconds, a crowd gathered around us. He looked around, shook his head and laughed. "... Donnie... would you do me the honor of marrying me?"
And then, he pulled out out a small, tasteful diamond ring in a platinum setting.
I couldn’t believe he actually had a ring. "Where did you get that?"
He smiled. "Things were going well those first few days, so when I called my mom and asked her to overnight my cuff links I asked her to send this, too. It was my grandmother’s. She left it to me."
"Your grandmother’s ring?" I couldn’t believe this. After one of the worst days of my life, I was the woman in one of the most romantic proposal scenes ever staged!
"Well?" Bev asked. "Mitchell is waiting."
"Mitch?" Jodi said. "I’m going to explode if you don’t answer him, soon!"
I looked into Mitch’s eyes and I knew that I was making the right decision. "Yes, Mitch. I’ll marry you."
I felt like electricity was flowing through me as Mitch slipped the ring onto my finger and everyone around us applauded. He kissed me, then stood and helped me to my feet. Then he hugged me and I wrapped my arms around his neck so we could kiss and kiss and kiss.
"So," Bob asked after our kisses had ended and Mitch was shaking hands with men and I was showing off my new ring to women, "when’s the big day going to be?"
Mitch laughed. "Geez, Bob, she just said ‘yes.’ We haven’t discussed that at all."
Jodi was holding my left hand and raving about my ring when Bob called over to me, "What do you think, Donnie? Would you prefer a spring or a summer wedding?"
I was still high on excitement. "I don’t care, Bob. Anytime or anywhere will be fine with me."
"Oh, I know who should make your dress!" Bev blurted out in excitement. "Jodi, you know that girl in Boston on Newberry Street. Oh, she does wonderful work! We’ll introduce you to her the moment we get home!"
"Oh, yes, and we’ll arrange for the country club for your reception. Oh, you’ll love what they’ll do for you, dear! They’re wonderful there."
It seemed that my wedding was being planned right there on the beach and I was fine with that. I was in heaven!
The next hour was a blur of congratulations from strangers and people from Mitch’s firm who I barely knew, but seemed genuinely happy for Mitch. My left hand was held in a limp wristed extension for the entire time so that women could inspect the beautiful ring, which was, essentially, Mitch’s stamp of ownership, but, you know what... I loved the attention and the thoughtfulness of the women. They all were so happy for us – for me.
It was a beautiful ring, too. A one carat, square stone in a square boarder with small diamond chips in the boarder adding to the sparkle of the larger stone. Two small fleur-de-lis‘s lead to the simple, narrow band. Very simple. Very elegant and – strangely enough – fit me perfectly. Was that because Mitch’s grandmother and I just happened to share the same ring size, or had my remarkably romantic fiancé – that seemed like such a weird thing to call Mitch... my fiancé - figured out my ring size and had the ring sized to fit me? I didn’t care and asking would have ruined the romantic magic of the moment.
When, at last, we were headed back to our room, I found myself constantly looking at my left hand to admire the elegant, old fashioned look of the ring and to assure myself that I hadn’t lost it. It had suddenly become the most important thing in the world to me.
"Do you like it?" Mitch asked.
I smiled and let out a little laugh. "I do. Thank you. I never imagined that I’d ever be wearing an engagement ring, or that you would have been the one who gave it to me."
We stopped on the walkway, in the light of the burning tiki torches, with the moonlight playing on the waves and Mitch placed his warm, soft lips on mine and hugged me tightly as we kissed so sweetly that I thought I might melt. We probably would have stayed there all night if one of Mitch’s colleagues hadn’t been passing and slapped Mitch on the back and said, "Hey, get a room, you two," as he passed.
We walked through the lobby, still receiving congratulations from strangers, took the elevator to our floor, entered our room and during the course of that short journey, I hardly stopped looking at the ring. I thought about it’s beauty, about it being a symbol of Mitch’s commitment to me and mine to him. I thought about it as a symbol of Mitch’s family. I remembered his grandmother. She was a lovely lady. She lived next door to Mitch’s parents and we spent a lot of time there when we were kids. I remember her as one of the few people outside of my family who always wanted a hug from me, even when I was a teenager. Every time we saw each other, her first sentence to me was always, "Come on, Donnie. Come and give your Nana a hug." Now, as I wore her ring, it was like she was hugging me, again, and the thought of her hugging me almost made me cry. Suddenly, I missed her horribly and that made me miss my mother, too.
"Are you crying?" Mitch asked, concerned.
I looked up from my ring and smiled at him. "I guess so, but... I was just thinking about my mom... and Nana. I miss them and... as much as I wish they were here so I could share this moment with them... I wonder what they’d think about it – you and me... engaged."
Mitch put his arm around me and guided me to the couch, where we sat and both looked at the ring. "Your mom," he said as he looked at the ring, "was thrilled when Marie announced that she had fallen in love with Hilda. She would think about all of her kids; one daughter divorced and bitter, one daughter married to a man and miserable, one daughter married to a woman and happy as can be, and then she’d ask you if you were happy. If you told her you were, then she’d kiss you and tell you that’s all that mattered."
I let out one sad laugh. He was right, of course. All my mom ever wanted was for us to be happy.
"And as for my Nana," Mitch’s voice changed a bit when he thought about her, "she would be hugging both of us, then taking you out into her kitchen to show you where she kept her recipes for this occasion and that occasion and telling you how beautiful you’d become and how happy she was for both of us."
He squeezed me and kissed my temple.
"And your mom? What does she think of all of this?" I asked, genuinely concerned. Mitch worshiped his parents. His mom was a teacher and his dad a physician, both very successful in their fields, and Mitch lived to make them proud. I would hate to become a wedge that separated them.
He laughed. "You know, that night we went out to dinner. You wore that soft, black sweater and that long, plaid skirt? Well, I snuck a few pictures of you because I couldn’t believe how beautiful you’d become. The next day, my mom asked about the trip and you and everything and I showed her the pictures. She was blown away and said, ‘I wouldn’t let her get away if I were you, Mitchell.’ Then, when I called home the other day and I asked her to send my cuff links and Nana’s ring, she nearly screamed herself hoarse with excitement. She yelled into the other room and told my father and I heard him yell back." Mitch lowered his voice to imitate his father’s serious tone. "‘It’s about time those two came to their senses and settled down.’ So... I think they’re happy."
Mitch asked when I’d like to get married. I told him it didn’t matter to me. I repeated what I’d said on the beach, ‘Anytime. Anywhere.’ He asked if I’d like a big wedding or a small one. I replied small, since my only friends were Mitch, Hilda and Marie – and Marie, of course, would have to act as my maid of honor.
"You have more friends than you think," Mitch chuckled. "Maybe Donald didn’t have a lot of friends, but the women on this trip all seem to love Dawn. I hear it from their husbands and the women stop me and tell me how much they like you and how happy they are to have met you. Bev and Jodi act as if you’re their daughter – BOTH OF THEM behave like mothers when they talk about you. They’re already planning everything for you." He laughed again. "If this trip doesn’t bankrupt me, this wedding probably will."
That actually worried me. Yes, I still owned my house, barely, and I still could keep the lights on, but I was treading very close to bankruptcy and I didn’t want Mitch to find himself in the same boat. "Mitch, you’re not serious, are you? I mean... this trip... the extravagance of it... I told you not to spend that kind of money..."
"Relax, relax, relax," he laughed. "I was making a joke. Here," he pulled out his phone and opened an app, then showed it to me. "This are my savings and checking balances. I also have a savings account in another bank to keep money aside for emergencies and I have a pretty healthy investment portfolio. We’re fine. We’re better than fine, Donnie... we’re... comfortable."
The numbers made my eyes bulge. I had no idea that Mitch was this... ‘comfortable.’ I mean, he wasn’t about to go buy a yacht or anything, but... wow!
I sighed. "That’s... that’s great, Mitch, but you know that’s not why I said ‘yes,’ right? I mean... it took a while, but I think I finally know what I want from life."
"And what’s that?"
"To be with you. To be your... wife. I’m sure of it, Mitch. I’m staying like this... forever."
He hugged me. "That’s great, Donnie. I mean... either way would be great, but... you’re different this way. You seem... happier. More... I don’t know... comfortable."
That was certainly true. I really had found my bliss.
I let out a big, dramatic sigh and said, "Well, now I have to do something very, very UNcomfortable." I stood and grabbed my purse from the end table.
Mitch seemed surprised. "What do you need to do? Untape yourself? That’s got to be uncomfortable."
I looked at him with an expression that said I was shocked that he would even make such a suggestion. "Do I talk about your personal areas!? No, I don’t, because I’m a lady and I’d thank you not to talk about mine, sir! EVER AGAIN!"
He laughed at my indignation while I took out my phone and took a picture of my left hand. Then asked, "What do you have to do That’s so uncomfortable, then?"
I showed him the picture I’d taken. "I have to text Marie, Hilda and Nancy, the three women in my life most likely to say ‘I told you so,’ and tell them that they were all right. It’s going to be a long night."
To Be Continued...
Hawaiian Retreat - 6
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Author's Note: Thank you all, once again, for your critiques and comments! Please keep them coming! I learn such a lot from them.~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 6 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 6
I let out a big, dramatic sigh and said, "Well, now I have to do something very, very UNcomfortable." I stood and grabbed my purse from the end table.
Mitch seemed surprised. "What do you need to do? Untape yourself? That's got to be uncomfortable."
I looked at him with an expression that said I was shocked that he would even make such a suggestion. "Do I talk about your personal areas!? No, I don't, because I'm a lady and I'd thank you not to talk about mine, sir! EVER AGAIN!"
He laughed at my indignation while I took out my phone and took a picture of my left hand. Then asked, "What do you have to do that's so uncomfortable, then?"
I showed him the picture I'd taken. "I have to text Marie, Hilda and Nancy, the three women in my life most likely to say 'I told you so,' and tell them that they were all right. It's going to be a long night."
I created the text, just a picture of the ring on my left hand and the phrase, 'I had an interesting day,' and I sent it off as a group text to Marie, Hilda and Nancy. It took about twenty seconds for my phone to ring. It was Marie. I handed the phone to Mitch and said, "Here. You answer it. Put it on speaker."
He smiled, pushed the accept button and then hit 'speaker.' "Hello, this is Donnie's phone, but Donnie isn't available. This is Mitchell, Donnie's assistant. May I help you?"
"Very funny, jackass," Marie laughed. "I want to talk to my little sister before you steal her away. Put her on."
"I'm sorry, ma'm," Mitch was smiling, on the verge of laughter, "but Donnie is far too busy to spend time talking to family members at this time. Perhaps if you call back in a few days, she may find the time..."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, funny man, put her on. Oh... and by the way. Congratulations. You're getting a wonderful girl."
At that moment, Mitch's phone rang. He glanced at it and saw that it was Hilda calling him. He showed the phone to me and raised his eyebrows. Then he said to Marie, "Well, thank you, ma'm. I am going to turn you over to your sister now, but only because your better half is calling me. Here she is."
He handed the phone to me and I said, "Hi, Rie. You saw the picture?"
"Oh, honey, it's beautiful. I'm so happy for both of you," Marie squealed through the phone. "So what are the arrangements? Are you wearing a tux or a gown?"
I laughed. "Definitely not a tux. Those days are over for me."
"Really!?" Marie sounded a bit surprised by my resolute tone. "You're absolutely set on being my sister, then?"
"I am," I said. "I can't imagine being anything else." There was a loud banging on the suite's hallway door. I continued talking as I walked to the door to open it. "Oh, and one of the wives here is an assistant principal at The Crawford School and she offered me a job as a teacher."
I opened the door to find Nancy and Craig smiling and holding a bottle of champagne. I grinned, indicated that I was on the phone and waved them in while continuing to listen as Marie said, quite a bit more dismissively than necessary, "Teach!? What are you qualified to teach?"
"Art of course," I laughed.
"Oh!" Marie laughed. "Well, that makes sense, I guess."
"Look, Rie, I have to go. Nancy and Craig just came in. I'll call you tomorrow, ok? Love you."
"Love you, too, baby sister," Rie said. Again - we are twins. I'm a few minutes younger, but that's about it. This 'baby sister' thing seemed to be funny to Marie, though.
When I disconnected the call, Nancy threw her arms around me. "Oh, Donnie, I'm so happy for you! We both are! As soon as we saw the text, Craig ran down to the bar and got a bottle of champagne to celebrate." She kissed my cheek and put one of her hands where her lipstick mark remained, then said, much more quietly, "I am so, so happy for you, Donnie. I really, really am."
I grinned broadly and kissed her cheek in return. "Thank you, Nan. I'm happy for you, too."
Mitch stood and held his phone out to me. "Hilda wants to talk to you, Donnie." He greeted Craig and Nancy with handshakes and hugs and I said hello to my sister in law.
"Oh, Donnie, Donnie... I am so happy for you," Hilda said in a loving, accented voice. "See what happens when you open up and allow yourself to be loved?"
I felt so warmed by her words. "Thanks, Hilda. Thanks for everything. For listening, for being there for me... for everything."
"It was my pleasure, no... my joy to do whatever I could, engel." Maybe she actually said 'angel' in English, but her accent made it sound German and it made me feel that much more loved. "I know you have guests, so I'll let you go. We love you, liebling. Go be happy."
We said our goodbyes, and by the time I had disconnected the call, the cork was popping out of the champagne bottle and Mitch, Nancy and Craig let out that strange cheer of triumph that always comes with the release of a champagne cork.
They poured themselves portions of the bubbly wine into the small tumblers that were in the kitchenette area of the suite, while I pulled a can of ginger ale out of the minibar and used a similar tumbler. Craig and Nancy toasted our happiness and we toasted theirs and we all ended up on the balcony, lounging and chatting.
As Mitch and Craig discussed the results of the round of gold that Mitch had missed that day, Nancy and I began discussing our individual weddings. She, of course, had already made a lot of plans. Being an events planner and having a great deal of experience in these things, she gave me the names of the best and most reliable bakeries and dress makers and jewelers and pretty much every other aspect of a wedding reception. "Of course, I can get you a great deal at my hotel, if you want."
I smiled and thanked her and said that I would let her know as we planned. "I've been engaged for, what, an hour and a half? and I have already been offered help from a half dozen people." I sipped my ginger ale and laughed, "Talk about a whirlwind! I knew that women got excited about weddings, but Bev and Jodi went nuts within thirty seconds of me saying yes."
Nancy rolled her eyes. "Well, if they're offering help, you'll be in good hands, but make sure that you guys do want YOU want. It's YOUR wedding - and watch the budget, too. Spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding does not make a marriage work any better than having a pot luck reception in your back yard."
"Ooh," I giggled, "now THAT sounds nice. Something in July or August... the men in shirtsleeves and ties, the women in summer dresses. I could get into something like that. Mitch's mom would never go for it, though. Knowing her, I'm sure that she's had Mitch's wedding planned since she found out she was pregnant with him."
We both laughed at that.
Pretty soon, the champagne was gone and it was getting late. Mitch walked with Craig to the door and I walked with Nancy. She put her arm around me and whispered, "Maybe everything happens for a reason, Donnie. Maybe we had each other for so long so that we could find Craig and Mitch. And maybe 'the cosmos' brought us together here to help each other towards better lives."
"Maybe," I agreed, but I was pretty sure her philosophical attitude was champagne fueled.
Then she got very serious and looked me right in the eyes. "But I will always love you, Donnie. Both as a friend and as someone who was my lover. Just remember that."
I kissed her cheek. "I will, Nan, and the same goes for me. I'm glad we had the chance to be friends, again."
Craig shook Mitch's hand and hugged me and congratulated both of us, again, and finally, Mitch and I were alone.
"Well," he laughed, "I didn't expect the whole island to go crazy over this!"
He looked so happy, so excited, that I needed to hug him, so I did. I hugged him as tightly as I could and he did the same, almost breaking my spine in the process. He lifted me in the air and swung me in a circle once - twice - three times before my feet touched the ground again. Then he kissed me with a soft passion that I felt in every molecule of my body.
"Are you happy?" He asked.
"I could not be happier," I bubbled back at him.
He gave me one more peck on the lips, then suggested that I go get ready for bed while he called his mom and dad and told them the news.
When I exited the lavatory about forty five minutes later, he was still on the phone. "Yeah, mom, I know. Here, Donnie's just come out of the bathroom. I'll let you talk to her. Yep. Love you, too, mom. Yeah, we'll be home in a few days and we can talk about everything then. Bye-bye." He held the phone out to me and said, "Take a breath. She has a lot to say."
As I'd expected, Mitch's mom had a lot of ideas about her son's wedding. She wanted it in the church that Mitch and I had attended as boys, something I wasn't too keen on - besides the fact that I was a very lapsed Catholic, the idea of either explaining my situation or lying to a priest didn't particularly excite me - but I figured that that was a discussion that could wait until we got home in just a few days.
Mitch's dad was surprisingly embracing of his son marrying another man. I mean, he's never been anti-gay in any way, but... I guess I just figured that a man might be disappointed if his son wasn't straight. Too many TV movies, I guess. Anyway, Mitch's dad, who'd always called me 'Donald,' took it all in stride and called me 'Donnie,' and 'dear,' and 'darling,' as if he'd done so all his life.
Both insisted that I now refer to them as 'mom and dad' and I was very comfortable with that, too.
When Mitch emerged from the bathroom about ten minutes after he'd entered, he chuckled at the fact that I was still talking to his folks. He mouthed the word 'sorry,' but his bright eyes indicated that he was thrilled that everyone was happy.
"Ok, mom," I said. "I'm going to hand you back to Mitch, now. Yep. I love you too. No, no, I won't forget. I'll see you soon."
I handed Mitch the phone and he put it to his ear. "Ok, mom. Yes, we're very happy, too. Ok. I'll see you on Friday. Bye-bye." He disconnected the phone and looked at me. "Wow! She's really excited. I don't envy you!"
"Me!? I asked, confused. "Why don't you envy me?"
Mitch laughed. "You're the one with three mothers and three sisters who are all going to want to help you plan the wedding."
I blinked. "I have three sisters, yeah, but I doubt I'll be inviting two of them to the wedding."
He laughed. "I meant Marie, Hilda and Nancy. They're all going to drive you crazy with helpful ideas and opinions." He pulled back the blankets on his bed and swung his feet under the light covers.
I nodded. "I get it... and my three moms are your mom, Bev and Jodi, right?"
"You know it," he shook his head. "Like I said, I don't envy you."
I touched my blankets and was about to pull them down, but I stopped. "Mitch?"
"Yes?"
"Would it be ok if... I slept with you?"
He raised himself up onto an elbow and looked at me. "Donnie... I'm not sure we're ready to try making love again, just yet."
I shook my head, a bit embarrassed. "No. I mean... just sleep. Can I sleep with you? I really want to be near you." God, I felt like a needy child asking a parent if she could cuddle.
He smiled and held the covers open. "I'd love that."
I climbed in and laid with my head on his broad chest, his strong arm around me and breathed in his scent and I felt his chest hair and muscles on my cheek and I was happy. Truly happy.
Mitch had an eight thirty tee time the next morning, and the golf course was off of resort property, so we were up and at breakfast at seven thirty. That morning I wore my favorite of all of my silk top and skirt outfits. The top on this one was pale peach and the print looked as if it had been stitched together from those delicate handkerchiefs that old women used when I was a child. All of the handkerchiefs were set at a forty five degree angle, with a corner pointed up. One had delicate little violets in each corner, another roses, and still another daisies, etc. It had tiny cap sleeves and slit top with a stiff, one inch collar. As with several other of my blouses, the silk was sheer enough that the beautifully lace covered chemise I wore beneath it was clearly visible.
The blouse was matched with wide A-line skirt with pale, watercolor-like flowers that seems to have run together and faded into a beautiful, soft pastiche of color. From a distance, my blouse seemed unadorned and the skirt rather bold, but up close, the colors of the skirt blended and faded and the blouse held your attention. Combine those with classic, tan, two inch pumps and I felt like the most beautiful woman in the world. Mitch agreed and so did many of the women at breakfast who complimented my look while also asking to see my ring and congratulating both of us on our engagement.
Mitch kept checking his phone throughout breakfast and occasionally typed something into a text, but he was also gregarious and engaged with everyone who came our way.
Just as he was about to leave, Craig and Nancy arrived, each carrying a cup of coffee and wearing sun glasses. Craig said that he wasn't going to sit, that they'd overslept and he was going to get by with just the coffee. He kissed Nancy, who sat and joined me.
Mitch stood, then bent to kiss me. "I probably won’t be back until dinner time," he said. "After the golf game, I have to help Bob with something. I shouldn’t be long."
I said that was fine. I’d find some way to get through the day until he returned and he laughed at that.
Before he left, Mitch stopped and said to both Nancy and me, "Oh, tomorrow is our last full day and we have the formal banquet tomorrow night. Why don’t you two make an appointment at the salon and get your hair and whatever done for the party? The works, ok? My treat."
I looked at Nancy who looked at me and shrugged. "Sure. I’d love that. Thank you, Mitch."
"Yes, thanks, hon," I said as well and the men left.
As soon as they were out of sight, Nancy waved down a waitress. "I’ll have a mimosa, please. Light on the juice.
The waitress was about to leave, but I stopped her. I asked her to wait a moment while I asked, Nancy, "Is that all you’re having?"
She lifted her sunglasses and peeked out at me with dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. "It’s what I need."
"Bring her toast and tea as well. Charge it to my room." I told the waitress and she smiled and walked away.
"Hair of the dog?" I asked Nancy, who shook her head.
"Yeah," she laughed. "Craig and I had already had a couple before we got your text last night. Combine that with the champagne and that dog bit me pretty hard. I haven’t had a hangover like this since college."
Now, I laughed because I had been in the same boat recently. "I know what you mean!"
The waitress arrived with the toast, tea and mimosa and we thanked her. We chatted some more about weddings, etc, and then I spotted Alyssa arriving. I excused my self from Nancy’s conversation for just a moment and I invited Alyssa to join us.
"Well, just look at you, the radiant bride to be," Alyssa smiled as she sat. "Let me see the ring. Oh! It’s beautiful, and so old fashioned! Just like you! I love it!"
"I’m old fashioned?" I asked.
She looked at Nancy and smiled. "Does she not know how old fashioned she is?"
Nancy sipped her mimosa and smiled back. "Let me tell you something about my friend, Dawn. We were very close until about a year ago. We saw each other every day and never once did I think that she was an old fashioned girl at all, but since last Thursday, every day she has been the perfect little lady. Silk and lace and pearls... the change is shocking!" Then she looked at me, "Look around, Donnie. Compare your look to every other woman here. Your adorable blouse, your flouncy skirt, your pretty little pumps, not to mention your hair and makeup – you are a perfect, porcelain doll, my love. A golden trophy among aluminum figurines." She toasted me with her glass and took another sip.
I felt a bit hurt. Was she making fun of me? "I don’t know quite how to take that, Nancy. I mean... I work very hard on my clothes and makeup..."
She leaned forward and took my hand. "I just meant that you look like a goddess amongst mere mortals, Donnie. I was trying to be funny, but it came out wrong – like I was a mean drunk. You’re beautiful, babe. That’s all I meant."
I nodded, but I was still confused.
"I only meant," Alyssa smiled and touch my upper arm, "that your style and the way you present yourself is all very... classic and I love the fact that Mitch chose a ring that reflected the same aesthetic. It suits you. I didn’t mean to offend you at all."
I nodded and felt better. "The ring was actually Mitch’s grandmother’s."
"Oh, how wonderful," Alyssa gushed. "I assume she’s passed away, then? Did you know her?"
"We both did," I replied, including Nancy.
Alyssa fingered the ring some more, inspecting it with a woman’s eye. "Oh, I bet she’s looking down form heaven thrilled that you’re wearing her ring. Extending her legacy to another generation of her family. Just think, some day, your daughter or granddaughter may be wearing that ring on her wedding day, too. Family is everything, after all."
I wondered how Nana may have felt about me wearing her ring. Would she be happy or appalled. Nancy must have seen a cloud of concern pass across my face and she added. "She is, Donnie. Mitch’s Nana loved you like you were her own, too. She’s smiling down on you, right now, just like Alyssa said."
I looked at the ring and, honestly, I could feel not only Mitch’s love, but Nana’s love too, and I stifled back a tear. "I hope so," I said, quietly.
"So?" Alyssa, sensing that things may get maudlin, was suddenly brighter, "Have you made a decision?"
Nancy looked from Alyssa to me. "A decision about what?"
"Alyssa offered me a job, teaching art, at her school, and, yes, I have made a decision, and, yes, Alyssa, if you’re school will have me, I’d love to teach there." I said, a bit excited.
"That’s wonderful!" Alyssa smiled and clapped her hand on her leg. She checked her watch and did some math. Deciding that it wasn’t too late to call back home, she said, "If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go call the school and let them know that you’ll take the job. Oh, I’m so happy, Donnie! You’re going to love it at Crawford, I just know it!" She jumped up and headed away from the breakfast area to make her call.
"Wow!" Nancy said as she nibbled the toast. "A new look, new job, new lover, new sex... you’re really starting over, aren’t you!?"
Again, I wasn’t sure if Nancy was being mean or not. "Is that a sincere question or are you back to being a mean drunk?"
"Argh," she grunted as she put her fingers under her sunglasses and rubbed her eyes, then left her hands on her cheeks as she spoke. "I am done drinking like that! I’m just grumpy this morning, Donnie. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to come across that way, I’m trying to be nice, I swear."
I nodded. "Ok, but take another sip of mimosa so that you get back to being a decent person, again."
She stuck her tongue out at me and sipped her drink, again. She held up her glass to me and said, "Cheers." She exhaled a big breath and looked around for a moment or two before asking, "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure," I said, as I stopped a gentle breeze from inflating my skirt.
"Are you moving in with Mitch?"
I nodded. "I am. He asked me to do that before he even proposed."
She nodded and waited another moment before asking, "Then... are you selling the house?"
It hadn’t even occurred to me that selling my house might be an emotional issue for Nancy, but she lived there with me and even paid part of the mortgage for almost a decade. "I kind of have to," I said. "Even if I needed it, I don’t think I could really afford it."
Nancy nodded, again, then asked, "Would you consider selling it to Craig and me?"
I was shocked by the question. "Well... yeah... You’d be interested in buying it?"
"Sure. What not? I always loved that house and the neighborhood. It’s a great place to bring up kids, there’s a nice school right around the corner, the yard is flat and big without being unmanageable... I’ll need to talk I to Craig first, but we were talking about buying a place and that’s the kind of place I’d love to raise a family in."
"Great!" I smiled. "When we get home, let’s get together and figure it all out. I kept track of all the times that you contributed to the mortgage payments, so... well, let’s see how much you’ve already invested in it, how much I owe, and figure out a price you’re happy with."
Nancy smiled. "Well, ok... but we’ll pay you market value..."
I nodded. "We’ll figure it all out. I don’t need to make a profit off you and Craig, Nan."
She shook her head and looked around, again. "You are a whole different person, Donnie. You really are. I love you to death, but you need to be careful of this new desire to please everyone."
I laughed. "Marie says I’m trying to be a good girl. She thinks it’s funny."
"I think it’s adorable," she laughed, "but I don’t need to take advantage of you, either. Let’s make sure we’re both happy about the price of the house. I’ll talk to Craig, tonight."
I asked the concierge to arrange for salon appointments for both Nancy and me, then, due to Nancy still recovering from her hangover, although she was better after her toast and tea, we took a long, slow walk on the beach. It was our next to the last full day in Hawaii and we wanted to enjoy the beauty and warm breezes for as long as we could before returning to the cold, snow and slush of New England. I carried my pumps and gloried in the feeling of the soft, warm, sugar-like sand.
"So..." Nancy said as we walked along, alone, "you’re going to be a teacher? That might be even more surprising than finding out you were going to be a woman."
I laughed. "I know, but... it’s a career opportunity and I haven’t had a lot of those, lately. Besides, I love art. I think it’ll be nice to share that with kids."
"LITTLE kids, Donnie," she pointed out. "Little kids who need gentleness and patience and sometimes even hugs. You’re going to need to be a lot more patient and supportive than you’ve ever had to be before."
I nodded. "True, but... I think I’ll be able to do it. I’m different than I used to be. I think I might enjoy working with kids."
"Well, good for you, Donnie. I imagine your future mother-in-law will have plenty of advice for you."
That was true. Mitch’s mom had about thirty years of classroom experience. She would probably be happy to offer some advice. "Great idea," I said.
"You’re going to have to tone done your clothes a bit," Nancy laughed. "You can’t very well risk getting paint or marker on an outfit like the one you’re wearing, now."
I laughed. "Oh, good. More shopping. Marie will be thrilled!"
"So will Mitch, I’m sure," Nancy laughed in response.
"Nancy! Donnie!" We heard someone calling from the walkway at the end of the beach. We turned and saw Beverly waving. "Girls! Come here, please! Big news!"
"I wonder what that’s all about?" I said as we headed in that direction.
"She’s probably thought of the perfect place to buy your wedding lingerie," Nancy teased.
I laughed. "Pretty soon, I’m going to need a huge walk-in closet, just for lingerie."
"Well, I’m sure Mitch will buy it for you if you ask," Nancy said with a smug smile on her face.
"Girls," Bev was very wound up, "I have such good news!"
"What’s that?" I asked.
"Well, let me start with you, Nancy. Now, this is just between we three, you understand. No one else can know until tomorrow night’s banquet, but... Nancy... Craig is being promoted to the Head of Forensic Accounting! Isn’t that exciting!?"
"Oh, my God!" Nancy was shocked. "How? When? How did this happen!?"
"Well, you see," Bev explained, "Oscar and Bob had Mitch and Craig review some irregularities in the accounts of a client – it was Mitch’s idea to have Craig look at the records... anyway, Craig uncovered hundreds of thousands of dollars in fraud and embezzlement and now, the firm is a hero in the eyes of their client and Bob and Oscar were so impressed with Craig that he’s being promoted."
"That’s... That’s wonderful!" Nancy was still shocked, but thrilled as well. "Oh, God, Craig will be over the moon about this! Oh, I’m so happy for him!"
"For both of you, dear," Bev corrected. "This is a huge promotion and comes with a huge raise, too. You will be very well off after this."
Nancy just shook her head, amazed. "I don’t know what to say, Beverly. Thank you, of course, but... this is amazing!"
"And as for Mitchell," Bev looked at me and smiled. "Tomorrow night, Oscar and Bob will be announcing that Mitchell will be becoming a full partner in the firm."
Now, it was my turn to be shocked. "Full... oh, my God! That’s amazing, Bev! Thank you!"
"Well," she smiled and touched both of our shoulders, "of course, Bob and Oscar made their decisions based on the work that your fiancés have been doing for them, but you two played a part in the decisions, too. Donnie, since you arrived, you have just shined through every day and Nancy, I had my doubts, but you have proved to be a tremendous asset to all of us. Thank you both, but remember – NOT A WORD to anyone, including Craig and Mitchell, until tomorrow, night."
"We promise," Nancy and I said in unison.
"Now," Bev grew more serious, "there is an issue I need to discuss with you." We waited. "We want tomorrow’s promotions to be photographed and posted on our website, but... I hate to be indelicate, but... may I ask what you’re both wearing tomorrow night? I know the men are wearing tuxedos, but... please forgive me for asking... may I please see what you’ll be wearing to event?"
"Oh," I stuttered as both Bev and Nancy got text messages. "I don’t see any problem with that..." I stopped because Bev and Nancy both checked their phones, then looked at each other, Bev smiled and Nancy stared at her in shock. "Is everything ok?" I asked.
Bev smiled and spoke to me, but her eyes remained focused on Nancy until well into her first sentence. "No, dear. Everything is just fine. That was just Jodi texting. She’s going to meet with Nancy in her room and see what she is wearing. I’ll go with you, ok? Oh, here comes Jodi, now! Jodi! Over here!"
I looked at Nancy, who just rolled her eyes.
"You told them, already?" Jodi asked.
Beverly put her arm through mine. "I couldn’t resist. Why don’t you go with Nancy and I’ll see what little, Miss Donnie is wearing."
"Excellent," Jodi smiled, but also asked. "Oh, what color are you wearing, Donnie?"
I was still getting past the fact that Mitch was becoming a partner. My head was still spinning from all of the changes the last few days had brought. "Oh, Umm, it’s silver with a little gold vine running through it."
"Well, that sounds lovely!" Jodi said, then looked at Nancy. "Do you think that your dress will go well with silver?"
Then I blurted out, "She has a nice blue chiffon dress that should..." but I stopped when I realized that I’d sent her that dress anonymously.
"I knew you sent that!" Nancy pointed at me and let out a verbose laughed. "At first, I thought it was Craig, but when he never asked about it, I knew it had to be you!"
I shook my head at my foolish mistake. "It was just too perfect for you, Nan, and I knew you wouldn’t let me buy it for you..."
"Yeah, well, I would, now, since finding out that Mitch is going to be a partner." She laughed at that and so did Bev and Jodi.
"Ok, enough, you two," Bev scolded. "Let’s see what we have and if we need to get anything for tomorrow. Remember, girls – Behind every good man is a good woman there to support him."
Bev and I arrived at my suite and I took the dress... the gown really... from the closet and pulled its dry cleaning bag up to the crook of the hanger so that she could see it.
"Oh, that is lovely," she gushed. She felt the silk material and shook her head. "I miss being young enough to wear things like this. May I see how it looks on you?"
"Ok..." I said, a bit surprised. She’d seen all my clothes all week. Did she think I’d show up at the final formal event in a dress that didn’t fit?
Her refusal to move indicated that I was changing in front of her, too. First Marie, then Jodi, then Nancy, who had, of course, seen me naked a million times, and now, Beverly. I thought women were more reserved about these things then men, but these women just kept expecting me to strip to my skivvies in front of them. Of course I turned my back as I removed my skirt, blouse and chemise. I stepped into the gown and pulled it up to just below my breasts before removing my bra and quickly running my arms under the spaghetti straps, safely hiding my smaller than normal nipples and aureoles.
The dress was beautiful. A silver silk under skirt covered by a transparent, soft tulle outer skirt, with a vine of gold thread with a few delicate leaves made of the same thread running through the tulle. The V-neck bodice that formed beautifully around my breasts were supported by the spaghetti straps. The subtle, natural waist flowed elegantly down in a luxurious skirt that was hemmed to just touch the floor when I wore my four inch heeled, silver sandals. The skirt had a modest train that dragged along behind in, necessitating my holding the skirts while I walked, and a slit up the front that allowed for peeks of my thin, well tanned legs, while the back of the top of the dress was open, nearly to the top of my buttocks, with a fairly complex array or spaghetti-strap-style laces holding the whole garment together. There was no possible way that I could straighten the laces and tie the whole thing off correctly without help from Bev and she was more than happy to assist, gushing about the softness of both my gown and my skin the entire time.
When the laces were tied and I was fairly sure that the dress wasn’t going to fall off of me, I turned and Bev inspected the dress. "Oh, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie... it’s breathtaking, my dear. Just
breathtaking."
"Thank you," I said, pleased that she approved, but feeling very pretty for just having the dress on. Part of me couldn’t wait to get all dolled up and ready for the event the following evening.
"What about jewelry?" She asked.
"I’m not sure," I responded. "I think my mother’s pearls might be a bit much, but I have a nice gold chain pendant with a tear drop amethyst on it that I thought might look nice."
She made me try it on, and it was obvious that Bev was unimpressed by the combination of clothes and jewelry. "I’ll bring by a nice pendant that I have - platinum chain with a lovely, blue diamond pendant. I brought it just in case, but I think it’ll be perfect for you to wear tomorrow. It was Oscar’s great aunt’s. It’s lovely... classic... like your ring."
I was very surprised that Beverly would offer me something so precious to wear. "Bev... I’m not sure that I can accept that. Even for an evening. It’s too generous of you."
"Oh, don’t be silly," she poo-pooed. "That’ll help with the four things..." suddenly she stopped.
"The four what things?" I asked.
"Never mind, dear." She smiled. "The dress is perfect. Absolutely perfect."
"I’m glad you like it," I smiled. "Could you undo me?" Once again, the wonderfully crippling logistics of feminine clothing required the help of another woman to free me from my silken clothing.
I dressed as Bev returned my gown to the hanger and returned it to the closet. I was curious, so I asked, "Bev, do you and the firm always make such a big deal out of promotions? I mean, making sure that the girlfriends’ clothes are all perfect for the pictures and everything?"
Bev sighed. "Well, to tell you the truth... we’ve never added a new partner before. See, Oscar started the firm and Bob joined about six years after that. They were the only partners. Now... well... you know how things go... Oscar is getting along in years and it’s time to step aside, but Bob isn’t all that far behind him. Bob says he likes working with Mitchell almost as much as he likes working with Oscar, so Mitch is really going to be trained to take over the company in five or six years. It’s a huge responsibility, Donnie – all those people depending on him – but Bob and Oscar think he’s up to the challenge. So... someday soon, you will be the wife of the president of this firm."
I stared at Bev. Mitch had hoped to get a raise – maybe be considered for a partnership down the road a few years, but this... this was beyond his wildest dreams! He was going to pass out when he heard this! "Bev... I... Please, tell Bob and Oscar that Mitch and I will do everything in our power to make them proud to have chosen Mitch for this position."
She touched my cheek. "We know that already, dear. You’re a wonderful bright, beautiful couple. Mitch is the right man for the job and you’re the right woman to help him. Now... let’s go see how Jodi and Nancy made out."
We met Jodi and Nancy as we came out of the elevator. Jodi confirmed that the dress I’d bought in secret for Nancy was a good choice for the formal dinner. Nancy and I assured both of the partner’s wives that we were having our hair done the next afternoon, so they both seemed satisfied that we would not be embarrassing the firm in our photographs.
Bev, Jodi, Nancy and I spent the afternoon shopping at every boutique, gift shop and art gallery at the resort, and every one within walking distance of the main gate – and there were plenty! Bev and Jodi pointed out all kinds of wedding ideas to both Nancy and me and their interests in our lives seemed to grow as the day wore on. We had lunch at a beautiful, outdoor, carry out place. Fresh fish, fresh fruit, freshly baked bread, everything was fresh and delicious.
At lunch, Nancy mentioned that she was considering purchasing my house, since I’d be moving in with Mitch.
"Oh, you own your own house!?" Bev asked, impressed.
"I do," I smiled. "It’s been hard to keep up with it since I lost my job, though, so, since I’ll be moving in with Mitch when we get back home, I figured that I would put it on the market. But, if after Nancy shows it to Craig, they decide they’d like to buy it, that would be great!"
"Do you think that Mitch may want to get a bigger place after he finds out that he’s being named a partner?" Jodi asked.
I glanced at Nancy and we both smiled. I answered, though. "I doubt it. Mitch was thrilled when he was able to buy the house right across from his parents. I don’t think he’d ever give that up."
"Ha," Bev shook her head. "I never would have suspected that Mitchell would be a mama’s boy."
I was about to respond, but Nancy leapt to Mitch’s defense. "Not at all, Bev. Mitch is a ‘Family Man’ in every sense of the word. His parents and his grandparents lived side by side and when Mitch could afford to buy a house, he never even looked outside of his neighborhood. I remember the day that he told us that the house across the street was going on the market. He couldn’t wait to make an offer. He was thrilled to get it."
"Now," Jodi asked, "is that the same grandmother who left Mitch the ring that Donnie is wearing?"
I looked at the ring on the third finger of my left hand and I felt warm and loved all over again. "It is," I answered. "Mitch is very dedicated to his family and friends." Then, as I thought about all the effort Mitch – and I, too - had gone through to make a great impression at this retreat, I said, "And to this firm. Honestly, Oscar and Bob couldn’t have picked a more dedicated and loyal guy to make a partner."
Bev looked at Jodi and smiled. "We know that, dear. Believe me, you don’t have to up-sell Mitchell to us. Bob is probably the most stubborn and picky man on God’s green earth and he told Oscar that Mitch is one of the most talented litigators that he has ever met. Oscar trusts Bob implicitly, so as far as the firm is concerned, Mitchell is a gift from heaven."
"As are you, Donnie," Jodi smiled. "You too, Nancy," she smiled.
We finished our lunch, shopped some more, then walked back to the resort. It was a glorious, sunny day with a gentle breeze blowing through my hair and the light, billowy material of both my blouse and skirt. Honestly, at that moment, I just wished that I could stay there in that tropical paradise forever.
When I got back into the suite, it was already five o’clock. I knew Mitch was involved with some work with Bob and he’d be late, but I hoped that we might be able to have a nice evening. After all, it was our last unscheduled night in Hawaii. So, in anticipation of a romantic evening under the stars, I changed out of my blouse and skirt and into one of the sundresses that had been ‘forbidden’ by Randall and Marie.
Oh, it was a lovely dress! A royal blue cotton with a pattern of pale pink roses with stems and leaves printed on it. Two inch straps over the shoulders, a bodice that buttoned in the front and hugged my torso beautifully, and a blouse skirt that fell to just below my knees. I partnered that with a pair of two inch, strappy sandals and I waited for Mitch to come back.
By six o’clock, I was lonely. I sent Marie and Hilda texts of photos and told them about the trip. Of course, it was too early in the morning to expect a response from them, but I hoped that they might just happen to be awake.
Apparently, they weren’t, because no one responded.
It was seven fifteen before Mitch showed up and he seemed a bit surprised that I was still waiting for him to go have dinner and enjoy the evening. "Sorry," he said, as he hugged me, "it took longer than I expected. Let me just change quickly and we can go have a nice dinner and enjoy the night, ok?"
To tell you the truth, I was a bit ticked off that he’d made me wait so long, but I figured that, once he became a full partner, I would probably have to get used to his hours being a bit erratic. So, I just cherished the hug and he got changed.
It was a truly romantic night, too. Dinner at the terrace restaurant, dancing to small band near the beach, walking hand in hand on the sand with the warm Pacific water washing over our bare toes. A perfect last night to ourselves.
I sighed as he hugged me from behind and we looked at the nearly full moon reflecting on the water. "I wish we could stay here forever." I said as I gazed at the beauty all around us.
He gave my neck a gentle kiss. "Me too, but... real life awaits, so... back to the cold in a couple of days. BUT..." he let that hang for a moment before continuing. "...we can come back anytime we want. It’s only an eleven hour plane ride away."
I smiled. "That would be nice. It would be nice to just be here alone. No Bev and Oscar. No Jodie and Bob. No golf. No work. Just us."
Mitch snickered. "No golf? Are you crazy?"
I knew he was teasing, but when I didn’t react, he teased some more. "You know what I think would make this place even nicer? We keep Bob, Oscar, Bev and Jodi, we keep Craig and Nancy, too, and we add my mom and dad, and Marie and Hilda. That sound sounds like the perfect mix for a romantic vacation. What do you say?"
I scoffed and rolled my eyes as I turned to hug him properly. "No thanks. I just want to be alone with you."
He laid his cheek on the top of my head and said, "You may regret wishing for that, because you’ve got me forever, now, Donnie. Forever and ever."
We, slept in the same bed again that night and I once again loved laying next to Mitch in my short, silk nighty, my head on his chest and his arm wrapped around my shoulder making me feel, small, protected and loved.
There was no golf on the last full day of the retreat. Instead, we slept a little later, had a lovely breakfast on our balcony and then we took a long, quiet, peaceful walk around the resort. I showed Mitch all the beautiful sights I had seen during the week while he had been playing golf. Mitch took dozens of pictures – many of them of the scenery and many of them of me and many of both of us.
After lunch, we met up with Craig and Nancy. I kissed Mitch goodbye and Nancy and I headed for the salon.
I was just a little surprised to see Jodi and Bev exiting the salon as we arrive. "Don’t you look lovely!?" I gushed at both of them, and they did. Bev always had her hair done in an attractive bob, but she’d had them touch up the color and add a little body for the evening’s festivities. Jodi had her shoulder length hair curled and piled on top. Both had had their makeup done quite nicely, as well.
Jodi laughed happily. "After you mentioned that you had appointments for the salon, we thought it was such a good idea that we booked our own appointments. A little pampering before the formal dinner was a just perfect way to begin getting ready for the evening."
We wished them well and we went into the salon. Now, the first time that we’d been there, the salon was nearly empty. This time, though, it was mobbed – and the oddest part was, every single woman in the salon was a wife or girlfriend of someone at the firm. Apparently, Mitch’s idea was not as original as I’d believed. Everyone seemed to be there to prepare for the evening. All of the chairs in the salon were full, but Since Nancy and I had made appointments and most of the others were ‘walkins, ’ we were escorted to our stylists right away. Luckily, I had the same stylist that I’d had the first time I came, so I just asked her to do something similar. Nancy, though, requested that we have our makeup done for the evening as well as our hair. I thought that was a bit presumptuous, since Mitch was paying for this, but he did say to get ‘the works,’ so I guess hair, nails and makeup fit that bill.
Again, I gloried in the feelings of having my hair washed and brushed and styled. The manicurist convinced me that the best match for my silver gown with the thin, gold leaf pattern sewn into it was French nails. So, my nails were coated with a very pale pink that looked like natural nails, then my tips were coated with a little line of white. I liked it, but it didn’t seem as elegant as the solid colors I’d been wearing. Nancy oohed and ahhed over them, though, so I assumed that this was just a style I had yet to understand. I shrugged, and looked at them again. They were lovely, I guessed.
The makeup woman worked on Nancy for twelve or fifteen minutes and she looked fabulous afterwards. The same woman was still working on me nearly a half an hour after she started.
"You’ve been working on my face for quite a long time," I said as the makeup woman was inspecting her work.
"Beauty takes time," she said in a voice that said that she was not all that interested in discussing her work with me.
"Am I that hideous?" I asked, only half joking.
That actually broke her intense inspection long enough to make her laugh. "Not at all. In fact, quite the opposite. Some faces just take makeup differently – more like a canvas – than others. I’m sorry if I’m taking too long, it’s just... you have one of those faces."
I accepted that and she went back to work.
By the time my hair was done, I had been turned around so that my back was to the mirrors. Nancy was chatting with a group of the wives and girlfriends. By the intensity of their conversation, I assumed that they were discussing arrangements for the spring fundraiser.
"Excuse me," my stylist called over to Nancy. "Before I let the young lady see the results of our work, May I ask your opinion?"
I was surprised that not only Nancy, but a rather large group of the other wives and girlfriends came over to inspect me and the consensus was positive. Nancy summed up the opinion with her hand slapping firmly against her lips as her eyes watered. "Oh... Oh, she looks... just perfect."
Why were these women so invested in my appearance? I mean, many of them had had their own hair and makeup done already and none of them seemed as interested in each other as they did in me. Why?
"Alright, then," the stylist said. "Time for the unveiling."
With that, she turned me to face the mirrors and... well... I was more than a little surprised. Instead of having my hair piled in an aesthetically pleasing, asymmetrical way as it had been a few nights earlier, instead, my hair had been literally woven into a beautifully loose braid that circle my head around the height of my temples, but instead of the braid continuing to incorporate all of my hair, the hair hung loosely through the crisscrossed plaits and was curled and combed out into gently, feminine waves below. If I had to guess, I’d estimate that the stylist had used somewhere between thirty and a thousand bobby pins to secure the basket-weave pattern around my temple and, as nice as it looked, what really surprised me was the fact that sprigs of baby’s breath flowers and little faux-pearls had been woven into my hair as well. It seemed incredibly ostentatious to me – and I’m the one who had made my entrance just a week earlier in a long sleeved, silk blouse with a large, floppy bow, paired with a gold skirt that made women stare at me.
"Wow," I muttered. "It’s... it’s beautiful, but isn’t it a bit... much... for a banquet?"
"No, no, no," Nancy shook her head as I looked at her reflection in the mirror. "It’s perfect, Donnie. Mitch will love it."
I blinked and looked at the reflections of the other women as well, many of whom also seemed to have watery eyes.
I caught sight of Alyssa who was also posed with her hand pressed to her lips and her eyes damp. "You look just beautiful, Donnie," she shook her head in an odd, dreamy manner. "Just beautiful."
"Come on," Nancy insisted, "its after four. We need to go get dressed."
Suddenly, all the women were checking their watches and hustling to leave and prepare for the evening. I remember what prom days were like in high school – the girls all attending school for four periods until they would have earned a full day’s attendance, then suddenly clearing out of the school to prepare for the formal dance. All of them headed straight to beauty parlors to get their hair and makeup done. It was an activity that was mystifying to all the boys who were left behind in the school to muddle through math and science classes until after school when we’d casually picked up our rented tuxes and spend a maximum of fifteen minutes preparing to escort our dates to the dinner-dance. I suspected I had just experienced a similar female ritual. It was odd, but a lot of what I’d experienced in the previous ten days had been odd as well.
I asked Nancy if she might come to my room at some point to help me to lace up the back of my elaborate dress. She said she’d love to help, but in order to facilitate both of us having time to dress properly, we stopped by Nancy’s room and picked up her dress and shoes.
Back in the suite, we went into the bedroom to prepare. Within a few moments, we were in our bras and panties and preparing to dress Nancy. She looked at her gown and smiled. "Thank you for this, Donnie. It’s a beautiful dress and, honestly, I could never have afforded it." She laughed. "I suppose I should be thanking Mitch, too, huh?"
I touched her shoulder and smiled. "Mitch didn’t mind at all. You’re a big part of his life, too."
She nodded. "How does Mitch feel about me? Am I, like, ‘the other man,’ or ‘the old boyfriend?’"
"He loves you as a friend, Nan." I thought it was an odd question, but the whole day had been odd up to this point, anyway, so why should this be any different?
She looked me in the eye. "So, if he were to walk in here, right now, and see the two of us together, undressed, the way we are... he’d be fine with that?"
I nodded. "I think so."
Nancy raised her eyebrows as she thought about that. "You’re probably right. Mitch is a genuinely good guy and..." she looked me up and down. "...he’s in love with a genuinely good girl."
I smiled at that. "Thanks."
We got Nancy into her gown and heels and she looked lovely, truly lovely. Her dark hair was in a messier bun than it had been last time, which was very pretty, and they’d done an amazing job on her makeup, too. Just by way of small talk, I asked, "Have you tried on bridal gowns, yet?"
She shook her head. "Not yet. To tell you the truth, my mom isn’t a big fan of Craig’s..."
I chuckled at that. "Not surprising. She was never a big fan of mine, either."
She didn’t bother arguing about that. Instead, she just continued her thought, "... so I haven’t really had anyone to go bridal gown shopping with. Craig keeps promising to go with me, but... you know how that goes. Guys..." She just let that remark hang in the air as an accusation towards Craig and, I suspected, the Donald of old.
It was true that Nancy never really had any female friends other than Marie and, of course, after our break-up, I kind of ‘got Marie in the settlement,’ as it were. Nancy’s mom was... how shall I phrase this?... A psycho. She hated pretty much everyone and had a bad opinion of even the people she tolerated.
But I felt really bad for Nancy, at that moment. Here she was, at what should be one of the most exciting times of her life and she had no one to share it with other than Craig. "I could go..." I sputtered. That’s not what I really meant, so I rephrased what I wanted to say. "I would love to go with you to find a gown, if you’d like me to."
In her heels and gown, with me barefoot and in a bra and panties, I felt oddly little – not just small, but young and inexperienced – next to the tall and elegant Nancy. She smiled down at me. "You know, Donnie... When I first saw you out on the terrace that morning... I thought you’d lost your mind, but... I think you actually may have found... something... that was missing in you before. This whole week, I’ve felt closer to you than I ever did when we were a couple. Not in a... sexual way, I mean... I mean... it’s like I found a different kind of soul mate. Like... a sister... and... I don’t want to lose her. Could you consider... I mean... would you be my Maid of Honor?"
I was elated, taken aback, and excited all at once. "Would I... YES! Of course, Nan! I’d be... I’d be honored to, but... what is your mother going to say about it?"
Nancy shrugged and smirked. "Nothing in public, I’m sure, but she’ll go on about it in private for years, I’m sure – but that’s something that I will have to deal with. You’ll do it, then? You’ll be my Maid of Honor?"
I couldn’t help it. I had to hug her. "Of course, Nancy. Thank you for asking me."
She hugged me back. "It would be like old times if Marie would be a bridesmaid, too. Do you think she would?"
"Definitely!" I stepped out of the hug and grabbed my phone. "Let’s call her, now! She’ll be so excited!"
"No! No! No!" Nancy said with undo urgency. "I’ll... let’s... let’s, like, have lunch after we get back, or something, ok? I’d like to ask her in person."
"Oh," I said, a bit deflated in the moment. "Ok, sure."
Nancy smiled and said, "Why don’t we get you dressed, now?"
I retrieved my silver gown from the closet and laid it neatly across the bottom of the bed. I put the four inch sandals next to it and admired it for a moment before going to my lingerie drawer and pulling out the appropriately chosen pair of panties, I would not be wearing a bra, and my flesh colored waist nipper.
Nancy peeked into the drawer as I checked the baggies to find the correct underwear. "You’ve been a girl for, what, ten days, and you have more lingerie to chose from than I do. That’s hardly seems fair."
I shrugged as I pulled the nipper into place. "You need to go shopping with Nancy, some time. Oh... and be sure you have a nearly limitless credit line. That’s all it takes."
Nancy watched as I created a more feminine waist using the nipper. "Can I ask a very personal question?"
"Sure," I said, somewhat out of breath from my efforts.
"Well, since you’ve decided to remain this way and be Mitch’s wife... are you going to... you know... have surgery?"
I sighed. "Probably not. I mean, this is all new to me and... I know this sounds stupid, but... I like my penis. Right now, anyway... I don’t want to lose it. Besides, I’m allergic to anesthesia, so the risk would probably be too high."
Nancy nodded. "What about your breasts. You said that those will only last three weeks or so."
I know that it’s pretty stupid to say, but I had not thought about my breasts going away when the treatment that Hilda had given me wore off. "Huh," I said, giving away how stupid I’d been about the matter, "I hadn’t thought about that. I don’t know. I mean... I want breasts, so... I guess I’ll need to research that."
Nancy took my shoes and knelt to slide them onto my feet. "I bet there’s a way. Maybe Mitch’s dad knows someone."
"I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable having that conversation with Mitch’s father." I was being honest. I’m mean, I wasn’t all that comfortable having the conversation I was having with Nancy at that moment.
Nancy stood and smiled, though. "I’m sure it wouldn’t be the first time he would have discussed things like that with a patient."
"How about with his son’s boyfriend, though?"
"How about with his daughter-in-law, you mean. Face it, Donnie, in the next year or so, you are going to have a lot of conversations with a lot of people. Doctors, old friends, family members... You’re going to need to get used to talking about these things. You’ve made a tough choice – don’t get me wrong, I think it’s the right choice, but it’s a tough choice none the less, and you’re going to have to be in charge of the conversation if you’re going to survive."
I nodded. She was right. "Well," I mulled, "I don’t think I’ll need to have that conversation immediately. I mean, I expect that this weekend will be mostly wedding discussions, right?"
"I don’t know," she shrugged. "He is a doctor, so don’t be surprised if he brings it up. Be prepared. Don’t be embarrassed, certainly don’t be ashamed and know what you want."
By now, Nancy was standing again and I was removing my bra. It is funny that I wasn’t in anyway self conscious about being naked in front of Nancy. She seemed to have accepted everything in stride. I was very happy that, as she’d stated, she now saw me as a sister. I already had two biological sisters too many – my older sisters, I mean. Marie, of course, I loved and I guess I had a sisterly affection for Hilda, too, but to have Nancy back in my life and to have had it happen this way was... wonderful.
I stepped into my gown and pulled it up, slipping my arms into the spaghetti straps and turning my back to Nancy so that she could begin manipulating the laces in the back. She laughed as she started to tighten up the pattern of laces. "If you’re going to continue to wear clothes like this, you’re going to need to hire a chamber maid to help you dress."
That made me laugh, too. "If I continue to dress like this, Mitch will have to sell his house, too. This dress cost more than my first two cars combined."
"I remember those cars," Nancy shook her head. "I bet I own shorts from Walmart that cost more than both those cars combined."
She pulled the laces tight enough to hold the bodice in place, but not tight enough to dig into my skin and she began adjusting the material around my curves. "Well," she joked, "there is one big advantage to having little nipples."
"What’s that," I asked.
She ran her finger across the material covering my breasts, inadvertently sending a shiver through me. "You don’t need to wear silicone nipple covers when you go bra less."
I glanced at the material, now, suddenly aware of yet another hazard of womanhood. "Are those really a thing? They sound uncomfortable."
That made Nancy actually belly laugh. "There are a lot of uncomfortable things about being a woman, Donnie. Count yourself lucky that you’re only dealing with the uncomfortable things caused by fashion. You’ll never have to deal with cramps, or bleeding or tampons or pads..."
"Oh, stop!" I cringed in mock, well – somewhat mock – horror at the very idea of having to endure something that a good portion of the world’s population suffered through every twenty eight days. At least when I’d been a guy, no one ever shared the graphic details of the feminine cycle with me. "It’s like I’m talking to Rie! She suddenly became very open about her period with me. Please! It’s more information than I can even process."
"Oh, you poor baby," Nancy smiled as she kissed my cheek just as someone knocked on the door. "Take a look in the mirror and tell me what you think. I’ll see who’s at the door."
I turned to the mirrored sliding door on the closet door and I have to admit – I looked amazing. Even though I still thought that the hairdo was a bit over the top, with the flowers and fake pearls, it did go amazingly well with the gown.
Then I heard Bev’s voice as she passed from the doorway, through the lounge and towards the bedroom. "Oh, you look, just lovely, Nancy! That dress is perfect on you! Is Donnie decent? I’ve brought a pendent for her to wear tonight..."
I thought that it was odd that Bev had asked if I was decent, since just the previous day she’d seen me in just a bra and panties. How much less decent could I get?
"Ahh!" Bev gasped with her typical dramatic flair as she entered the bedroom. "Oh, Nancy, isn’t she a sight!? My dear, you are just radiant!"
"Thank you, Bev," I blushed at the unnecessary effusiveness.
"I’ve brought my blue diamond pendant, dear. Here, let me put it on you." She moved behind me and gently drew the platinum chain around my neck and attached it in the back. I watched her in the mirror and gawked at the simple beauty of the obviously valuable pendant.
"Oh, Bev..." I gasped at how it laid against my soft skin and complimented the dress. "Are you sure it’s ok for me to wear it?"
"Of course it is, my dear," she stood behind me, her hands on my shoulders. "It’s a special day for the firm, a special day for Mitch and a special day for you."
I shook my head in disbelief. The jewelry was beautiful and I was grateful, but this was Mitch’s special day. I was, in fact, meant to be exactly what I’d agreed to be when Mitch first proposed this whole plan just ten days ago – merely an ornament on his arm.
Instead of arguing with Bev, though, I just said, "Thank you, Bev. You’ve been so kind to me since we’ve met. I don’t know how to... well... thank you."
"My pleasure, my dear. Honestly. You," she turned and looked at Nancy, "and you, too, are the future of this firm. Without you supporting your husbands-to-be, this firm and everyone who works for it will fail. It is a bigger responsibility than you probably realize at this moment, but you both have important roles to play." Then Bev seemed to shake off all of her seriousness. "But we’ll get to all of that later. Tonight is a night to celebrate. So, let’s just do that. On, heavens, look at the time. I need to finish getting ready! See you soon, girls!"
"I should go, too," Nancy announced, then she kissed my cheek and said, "I’ll see you in a little bit. Bye bye."
An then I was alone, but only for a few minutes, until Mitch showed up.
He came through the door, smiling, as usual, and stopped cold when he saw me. "Holy cow, Donnie... Ho...ly...cow."
"You don’t like it?" I asked, knowing full well that he was complimenting me.
"No, I don’t." He approached me and laid one hand on the top of each of my arms. "I adore it," he said, then kissed me. "I adore you." Another kiss, but as much as I loved the kisses, I stopped him.
"That’s enough, stud," I giggled. "Don’t mess up my makeup. Go put on your tux and let’s go have a nice last night in Hawaii."
"Sounds like a plan," he smiled and leaned forward once more to kiss me.
"No!" I insisted. "No more kisses until later. Right now – get dressed."
Ok, so I know this sounds like a cliché, but come on - I’d been in the beauty parlor for almost two hours, I’d spent hours trying on dresses back home, I’d recruited the help of my former girlfriend to secure my dress to me properly and I hadn’t sat down once she’d left because I didn’t want to wrinkle this amazing dress, yet less than ten minutes after Mitch had entered the suite, he’d combed his hair and put on a tux and looked like a young James Bond. It just wasn’t fair! When I was a guy, I used to brush my hair and throw on a tux and I’d still look like a dweeb. Mitch looked like a movie star.
Between our suite and the Royal Hawaiian Ballroom, a beautiful indoor/outdoor room with Hawaiian themed décor, Mitch must have told me how beautiful I looked at least six hundred times. Don’t get me wrong, I loved every second of it... I’m just saying... that... he said it a lot.
The weather was beautiful, so the event was set up in the outdoor section of ballroom. There was no ‘head table,’ but there was a podium set up with a microphone and it was on a small stage with potted palm trees along the back.
Mitch and I sat at a round table with Oscar and Bev, Bob and Jodi, and Craig and Nancy. It was an exciting atmosphere and everyone seemed very happy to be there. It had, after all, been a wonderful week and we were all dressed beautifully for a night of good food, good company, dancing and, hopefully, romance.
After yet another amazing fish dinner, Bob and Oscar took to the podium and began giving out ‘team spirit’ awards. They were cute, friendly slogans on little trophies. Each award represented some aspect of the employee’s personality and everyone got one. There was lots of laughter and applause.
Then came the winner of the golf tournament. "Well," Bob laughed as he looked at the score sheets, "a lot of us need to spend a bit less time at the office and a bit more time on the golf course." That got a big round of applause. "According to what I have in front of me, only eleven of us even got close to par, and of those eleven on three were under par. You know, this really kills me to say, since this son of a gun even took a day off from playing, but by seven strokes, the winner of this year’s golf tournament is... drumroll, please..." everyone drummed on their tables, "...everyone’s ‘go-to guy’... Mitch!"
I seemed to be the only one who found it surprising that Mitch had taken a day off from playing and still won the prize, which was, if you recall, an extra week of vacation. Everyone applauded, but many of Mitch’s competitors on the course tossed napkins and other harmless things at Mitch as he passed. Mitch accepted the trophy, an envelope and shook hands with both Bob and Oscar, then sat back down.
"That’s awesome," I congratulated him as I hugged him.
Mitch just smiled and shrugged, humble as ever.
Bob spoke again. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just a couple of business issues to attend to, tonight. As you all know, as this firm has grown, Oscar has always overseen the courtroom work of the firm, while I was usually more focused on the accounting aspects of our business. The truth is, I thought I was pretty good at it, too, but... this week I was proved wrong. I believe you all know Craig from accounting. Craig, would you please come up here?" Craig stood and looked both a little surprised and a little flattered to be given recognition. Bob shook Craig’s hand and continued. "Craig, Oscar and I have decided that we should institute a Forensic Accounting Department at the firm and we would be very happy if you would be willing to accept the responsibility of overseeing this aspect of the Accounting Department."
Craig’s jaw dropped as Bob offered his hand. Everyone applauded, some just politely and some in genuine support of Craig’s new position. When he returned to the table, Craig was breathless and almost giddy. He couldn’t believe he’d been promoted, and no one congratulated him more than Mitch did.
Then Oscar took to the podium. "Ok... alright... I am... well... I have to make an announcement that... well, I’d hoped I’d never have to make, but... whew... due to some health concerns and my age..." he took a deep breath. "I need to start taking a much small role in the firm’s day-today affairs. Now, don’t get your hopes up, I’m not disappearing altogether," that brought a concerned chuckle from the crowd, "I’m just going to be taking a less hand-on role in the firm’s work."
He looked around the room. The people looking back were a concerned both for him and their jobs. "I promise you all... I’m going to be ok. I just need to back off a bit on the number of hours I work."
That seemed to make everyone breathe a bit more easily.
"Well," Oscar smiled, "I can’t just drop all of the extra work I’m leaving behind on Bob, here, so... for the first time since Bob and I started this firm together, we are appointing a new, full partner. This young man’s work has been constantly competent and sometimes even brilliant. In the time that he has been with this firm, he has never lost a case or negotiation. He has helped every single associate here to find new and creative ways to assist our clients and he has never asked for credit or compensation for that effort. In short, I can think of no better lawyer, man or friend in whom to trust the future of this company than..." by this time, everyone except Mitch was applauding and many were raising to their feet. Oscar just smiled and looked our way. "Mitchell... come on up."
This time, no one threw any napkins or anything else and no one seemed at all opposed to Mitch’s new position. I rose and he hugged me hard. "I can’t believe this," he muttered.
When he didn’t let go, but continued to hug me, I said, "Mitch, you have to get up there. Go on."
"Oh, yeah," he laughed and he hustled through the mass of backslaps and hand shakes to get to the partners – well, I guess I should say, the OTHER partners. Oh, I can’t tell you how proud I was of him. My eyes were filled with tears, but I kept them from falling in deference to my makeup.
Just before Mitch reached the small stage with the podium on it, he stopped and hugged someone, and... I could have sworn it was his father, but... well, someone stepped in front of me and I lost sight of the person and by the time my sight line was cleared again, the person was gone.
The crowd began calling for a speech and after Oscar and Bob shook his hand, Mitch finally moved to the microphone. "Wow..." he smiled and laughed and shook his head. "Just... wow... Oscar... Bob... Everyone... I am just so... amazed and... grateful. Thank you... thank you... thank you. I swear, Oscar, I will do everything to make you proud. This firm is the only firm in New England that has the moral backbone and integrity to fight for the rights of the people. I have always been honored to be a member of this firm and to be associated with all of you... wonderful... dedicated people. Thank you all for your support. I look forward to continued success as we work together to help make the world a better place. Thank you!"
As Mitch stepped down from the stage, Bev grabbed my hand and Jodi grabbed both Craig and Nancy’s and we were hustled to the stage area where we were organized by a photographer who took several quick photos of all of us, as well as some of just the three partners and each couple. All of the pictures were taken in less than two minutes, leaving me to wonder at the amount of time, effort and expense had gone into my visit to the salon.
As we turned and headed back to the table, I noticed that Mitch said something to Craig, who in turn whispered to Nancy who smiled, then turned to me. "I need to use the ladies’ room. Come with me, ok?"
I nodded, then turned to tell Mitch where I was going, but for some reason, he had disappeared. "Come on, Donnie," Bev was suddenly beside me. "Let’s go to the restroom."
"Oh... I..." I started to tell her I was already headed there, but when I turned to Nancy, she was already headed in that direction with Jodi. "Ok," I said, completely befuddled.
I was being pushed with a bit more force than I felt necessary towards the exit. The room had become a confusing mass of people who were congratulating me on Mitch’s promotion and telling Bev how concerned they were about Oscar’s condition. My head was spinning with all the commotion.
Finally, we stepped into the hallway, but instead of heading towards the ladies room, a Polynesian woman who was wearing a resort uniform placed a band of flowers onto my head. "That is a haku lei," she smiled. "It brings the bride luck."
"The bride?" I said, even more baffled than before.
"Here, Donnie," Jodi appeared from nowhere beside me, "take this." She handed me a small bunch of orchids.
"What?" I asked. "Why?"
Then, to completely make my brain explode, a tall, slime person in a white tuxedo took hold of my arm and ran it through hers. "Are you all set?" She asked with the hint of an Austrian accent. I turned and I couldn’t blink... I couldn’t speak... I couldn’t even breath for a few seconds.
I shook my head in the hopes of clearing out the impossibilities of the situation. Finally I muttered, "Hilda!? Hilda? What are you doing here?"
"I’m giving away the bride," she smiled and my knees nearly gave out on me.
To Be Continued...
Hawaiian Retreat - 7
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Author's Note: Thank you all, once again, for your critiques and comments! Please keep them coming! And please, leave a comment to let me know if you like, dislike, or have any thoughts or criticisms to my story! ~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 7 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 7
Then, to completely make my brain explode, a tall, slim person in a white tuxedo took hold of my arm and ran it through hers. "Are you all set?" She asked with the hint of an Austrian accent. I turned and I couldn't blink... I couldn't speak... I couldn't even breath for a few seconds.
I shook my head in the hopes of clearing out the impossibilities of the situation. Finally I muttered, "Hilda!? Hilda? What are you doing here?"
"I'm giving away the bride." She smiled and my knees nearly gave out on me.
"Whoa, there, girly," a familiar voice came from behind me. I turned and saw Marie, who had hurried to me and put one arm behind my back and another on my free arm. "Steady, now? Are you ok?"
"Rie?" I gasped. "How did you guys get here?"
My sister kissed my cheek and hugged me tightly. "How do you think we got here, silly? Mitch. He sent us a text about two hours after you told us you were engaged. He asked us to come so you guys could get married here." She pulled her head back a bit and inspected me more carefully. "Oh... my beautiful, baby sister..." She shook her head. "You're such a beautiful bride. You're happy, right? I mean... this IS what you want, right? To marry Mitch? You don't have to do it right now, if you don't want to. You can wait and do it another time... or not at all. It's all up to you."
I blinked and tried to think straight. "Do I want... of course I want to... Geez, Rie, yes, of course I want to marry Mitch I'm just..." I took a deep breath and gathered my wits. "Oh, my God." I pulled my arm free of Hilda's and moved a bit so I could see both Marie and Hilda. "Oh, I am so happy that you guys are here!" I threw one arm around each of their shoulders and they pulled themselves close to me in a sweet, three way hug. I felt myself actually shaking with excitement. "Thank you so much for coming."
When the hug ended, I dabbed a few tears from my face and smiled. "I'm getting married!" I squeezed my hands into fists and bounced. "Oh, my God, I'm getting married in Hawaii! I can't believe it!"
I turned to Nancy and held my arms wide for a hug. "I'm getting married!" I burst out, far too loudly.
She belly laughed as she hugged me. "I know, honey. I've known since yesterday. Are you happy?
"I'm..." I couldn't even think of a word. "... ecstatic!" I finally got out.
Nancy smiled and kissed my cheek. "Bev and Jodi helped Mitch set this all up."
Of course they had! I should have known, right? Who else would have been able to have pull off this kind of a surprise.
I looked over Nancy's shoulder and saw Jodi and Bev grinning broadly. I excused myself from Nancy and hugged each of them. "You guys... this is... unbelievable. Thank you."
"It's our pleasure." Bev smiled. "We wish you and Mitchell all the luck in the world."
"Thank you." I smiled.
"Oh, honey." Jodi hugged me like we'd known each other for a lifetime. "You look soooo beautiful." She touched my hair and the bridal lei that encircled my head. "We're just thrilled to be a part of this wonderful day. Now, go be the perfect bride for Mitchell."
She kissed my cheek as I turned to return to Hilda's side. I hadn't really noticed how beautiful Hilda looked before. She wore a well tailored, just-shy-of-pure-white suit. The three button jacket sat low on her hips, had gently padded shoulders and slightly belled sleeves, and it covered a plain, scooped necked, silk blouse. The legs of matching pants mirrored the slightly belled sleeves and she wore a strikingly high heeled pair of white sandals. I say 'strikingly high,' because she absolutely towered over me.
"Wow," I said as I took her in. "You look... AMAZING!"
"Thank you, sweetheart." She smiled and hugged me again. "You look amazing, too."
Then I noticed that my sister was wearing the exact same dress as Nancy, just in a different color - Nancy's was blue and Marie's was lilac. "Oh, my God! Your dress!"
Marie laughed. "I know. Nancy and I are your bridesmaids, so we had to look at least a little similar." She hugged me and whispered, "But I'm your maid of honor, though, right?"
"Of course," I whispered back. "You always will be." As we separated, I said, quite innocently, "Wait. You're married. Wouldn't that make you my..."
Suddenly, Marie looked very serious and she stuck her finger in my face. "If you call me a 'matron' for ANY reason, I swear to God, I will kill you - even if this is your wedding day." Her ire immediately turned to amusement, though and we both chuckled at her threat.
"Oh, yes, she's right over there," I heard Bev say to someone. When I turned to see who it was I was shocked to see Mitch's mom talking to Bev and Jodi.
"Mrs..." I started to say, but Mitch's mom stopped me.
"No, no, dear. It's 'mom' from now on, ok?" She smiled as she hugged me. "I just wanted to tell you how happy we are that you and Mitch have finally come to your senses and are settling down together." I was a little self conscious about having Mitch's mom see me in my new persona, but she didn't seem at all put out. "Oh, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie... you are just... breathtaking. I'm going to be honest with you, dear. Since you were in junior high school, I suspected that you and Mitch would end up together, and I would have been thrilled to have had another son, but... to have you as my daughter-in-law, Donnie... well... I just couldn't believe how beautiful you looked in Mitch's pictures and now, seeing you in real life... you move and smile... you're just perfect. It's going to be nice to have another woman in the family, is what I mean."
"Thanks... mom." It actually felt odd to call her that, I mean, my whole life I'd only addressed her as 'Mrs.' "I'm so happy that I'm going to be a part of your family."
She laughed. "Oh, Donnie, you were always a part of our family. Oh, what am I thinking? I need to get out of your way so that you can get married." She leaned forward and kissed my cheek, something she'd only ever done three times before - At my high school graduation, my college graduation and my mother's funeral - but I suspected that she would do it quite frequently in the years to come. "I'm so glad that Mitch was able to arrange for all of us to get here in time for the wedding, though. Of course, I would have loved for you to be married by Fr O'Malley, but... I guess that would have been... complicated."
"Indeed." I laughed and rolled my eyes. Then a thought struck me. I looked around at Mitch's mom, Marie and Hilda and I laughed as I muttered, "Wait a minute... that son of a gun..."
"What is it, love?" Mitch's mom asked.
I shook my head. "I told Mitch that I wished that we could come back here and enjoy Hawaii without all of his work responsibilities. You know - enjoy the romance of the islands and all that - and he said he knew how to make Hawaii more romantic and that was to bring all of you here. I thought he was just teasing. I had no idea that you were all on your way to Hawaii when he said that."
Marie laughed loudest at that. "Come on, Donnie. You know that I make every situation better."
"Alright, back off." Hilda laughed and took my arm in hers, again. "I've never walked a bride down the aisle before and I have been practicing since the plane landed. Let's get this started."
Mitch's mom kissed my cheek and ran back out into the ballroom. Then Bev and Jodi both wished me well and kissed my cheeks and they went into the ballroom, too.
Hilda looked at me and sighed. "Oh, for crying out loud," she muttered. Then she licked her thumb and began rubbing her thumb on my cheek. "You're covered in lipstick." She laughed as she cleaned my cheeks in a motherly manner. "We wouldn't want to have the bride look anything less than perfect, now would we, liebling?"
From the doorway came the sound of Elvis Presley's 'Hawaiian Wedding Song.' To be honest, at the time I didn't know that was the title. I just knew that the singer was singing it like it was an Elvis some and, as I said before, Elvis is a REALLY big deal in Hawaii.
First Nancy air-kissed me, then started her slow, formal walk to the stage where the podium had been. The podium had been removed while I was in the hallway to make room for the wedding to take place.
"She's walking like this was all rehearsed," I whispered to Hilda.
"It was," she laughed. "About a half an hour before the dinner began, we practiced with Nancy telling us how everything should go."
Of course, Nancy the events planner had worked all of this out ahead of time. I should not have been surprised by that.
Next, Marie took one of my hands and kissed it. "It took a pretty circuitous route to get you two from second grade to here, but..." she smiled and her eyes welled up with joyful tears. "... I can't believe my brand new, baby sister is getting married. I'm so happy for you." She smiled at me some more. "I just wish mom was here."
I sighed. "I hope she'd be happy for us."
"She'd be thrilled, baby. I know she's looking down from heaven and smiling right now."
"Thanks, Rie." I smiled.
"Marie!" Hilda said impatiently. "Just go! Look, Nancy is already to the stage. Go!"
"Oops!" My twin sister giggled. "My bad! See you up in front." And off she went, leaving me and Hilda.
"We wait until she gets to the stage, then everyone will stand for you," Hilda whispered to me.
"Ok," I whispered back.
Then I heard Hilda let out a big, somewhat frustrated breath. "Before we go in, Donnie... just... just tell me that your happy and that none of this is being forced on you."
I let out a little laugh. "Thank you, Hilda. I'm very happy. Very, very happy, but thank you for looking out for me and for making me..." I looked at my breasts. "...a woman."
Then it was Hilda's turn to let out a little laugh. "I think you were always a woman, Donnie. We just found the girl inside you. Here we go. Start on your right foot and take small steps."
Hilda set out down the aisle with a strict, Teutonic stride. She was taking her responsibility as 'father of the bride' very seriously. Everyone stood as we entered. The men smiled and the women, everyone that I could see, cried. The lighting in the room had been changed and the palm trees behind the stage now were up-lit with silvery blue light and the stage itself was dramatically lit in similar colors so that everyone who waited on the stage, Nancy and Marie on my left, Mitch and Craig on my right and Bob dead center, all had a bit of a magical sheen to them as I approached.
I have to admit that I was very lightheaded at the beauty, the excitement, the people and the completely unworldly quality of the event. It was almost a fairytale and I was the princess about to marry Prince Charming.
When I reached the foot of the two stair stairway that led to the stage, Hilda stopped and she turned to face me. I turned to her too and that's when I noticed that, despite all of her Austrian formality, my sister-inlaw had tears on her cheeks. She bent and kissed first my right cheek and then my left, then she whispered, "Ein langes Leben in Liebe, mean lieber." I looked at her, not knowing what she'd said, but knowing it was heartfelt. "A long life of love, my love." She smiled and wept simultaneously. "I think it sounds more beautiful in my language."
"It sounds like love in any language." I kissed her cheek and felt her shaking.
She squeezed my hands tightly. "No matter, what, liebling, I am always here for you. Never ever feel alone. Marie and I love you. Remember that."
I couldn't help but hug her, even though Mitch had already come down from the stage to escort me up. "I know, Hilda. I love you, too."
She returned to her Germanic posture and took my hand in hers. She kissed it and looked at Mitch. She sniffled and passed my hand to him and said, loud enough for Mitch and me to hear, but no one else, "We're not 'giving' her to you Mitch. We're sharing her with you. Be good to her."
"I know," Mitch smiled and took my hand. "And I will."
Hilda turned and walked to the left to sit next to Bev.
"Surprise," Mitch whispered as we climbed the two stairs to the stage. "You're ok with this, right?"
"It's wonderful, Mitch. I am just a little shocked. Thank you for all of this, though."
He smiled. "I figured that anyone who'd say 'yes' to me deserves something special."
I smiled and we reached the stage and turned to face each other so that Bob could be seen by the people in the hall.
"Be seated, please," Bob called out and everyone sat and looked at us.
Then Bob smiled at us and said, "My dear friends. We are here tonight to bear witness to these two young people as they put aside their individual lives and begin a new life together. We have all known and gotten to love Mitchell in the years since he became a part of the family at the firm and, since we've met and gotten to know Donnie, she too has has captured our hearts."
There was a round of respectful applause for that.
"Now, I do have a little sad news to announce," Bob continued. "Mitch just informed me that he'd like to take his newly won vacation time immediately so he can stay here in Hawaii and have a real honeymoon with his soon-to-be-wife, so, sadly, he will not be back to work with us for another week."
I was shocked! Another week in Hawaii! And it’d be alone with Mitch – well, I found out later that his parents and Marie and Hilda would be staying for the first few days, too. Mitch didn’t think it was fair to drag them, quite literally, halfway around the world and then have them fly right back, so their stay had already been booked before Mitch had arranged for our’s to be extended.
Bob continued, though, "I know that this is all very sudden and there hasn’t been a lot of time for either of you to plan, but is there anything that either of you would like to say before I ask the required questions?"
We both looked uncomfortable for a moment or two, but finally Mitch said. "Yeah, ok. I’ll go first."
He looked at our hands, intertwined, and then he looked up at me and smiled. "Donnie... I remember the first day we met. I remember the first time we spoke to each other. I remember the first time I said ‘I love you.’ I remember the first movie we ever saw together and I remember the moment I fell in love with you. The sad thing is though, the moment I fell in love with you was about fifteen years before we had our first date. I never expected that we’d ever end up together. I don’t think anyone ever did... except, apparently, my parents." That brought a giggle from the guests. "So... umm... I guess that what I want to say is... Donnie... I love you with everything I have, everything that I am and I am so grateful that you have agreed to be my wife."
Bob nodded and looked at me. Talk about being put on the spot, huh?
I took a deep breath and said, "Mitch... first off... if we’re going to have a good marriage, you can’t keep doing things like this to me." Another giggle from the guests. "First the proposal, now this... you’re lucky I haven’t had a heart attack, yet." Another giggle. "Mitch... I remember all those things, too. And I remember how you sat with me in the hospital when my mother was dying. How you went to the funeral home with Marie and me. How you were always there for me, no matter what. Mitch... I didn’t realize until recently how much I have always loved you and I... I... I can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to be becoming your wife. I will love you for now and forever." I stopped talking because I couldn’t think of anything else to say. "Honest, Mitch. I love you."
He smiled at me and I felt warm and loved.
Bob smiled, too. "Dawn. Do you take Mitchell to love, honor and cherish for all of your days?"
"I do," I said, with quiet conviction. I looked at Mitch and he smiled and slid a wedding band onto the same finger as my engagement ring. It matched the other ring perfectly. I looked up at Mitch, shocked. "Nana’s?" He nodded and handed me a larger version of the same ring.
"And do you, Mitchell, take Dawn to love, honor and cherish for all of your days?"
"Oh, yes, I do." Mitch smiled and nodded. I slid the larger ring onto Mitch’s finger.
"Papa’s?" I asked and he nodded again.
"Then by the power vested in me by the State of Hawaii, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride."
And he kissed me. It was a deep, loving and respectful kiss and it made me feel like a queen and by the time it was over, everyone was standing and applauding. Mitch held up a hand and quieted everyone. "Listen, everyone, I just want to thank you for your patience tonight. I know I imposed on your final night party, but... well... thank you for being a part of our wedding and now... let’s all enjoy the evening!"
The band began to play Elvis’ ‘Love Me Tender,’ though and everyone started chanting ‘First Dance! First Dance!’ so Mitch and I had our first dance right there, with everyone looking on. At the end of the first refrain, Mitch called to everyone, "Alright, that’s enough. Everyone on the dance floor!" And they all joined in and danced with us.
People danced by and congratulated us and when the song ended, Mitch took my hand and found his parents, who happened to have just exited the dance floor and started a conversation with the only people they knew there – Marie and Hilda. There were hugs and kisses and tears all around.
When I finally reached Mitch’s dad, he looked, me over carefully. "I have to admit it, Donnie, I never would have recognized you if I hadn’t been told. You are inordinately beautify. I’m glad you finally found yourself."
I smiled of course, partly at the sweetness of his remark and partly at the stiffness of his delivery. As I mentioned, Mitch’s father is a physician, or as Mitch and his mom always called him, ‘A Man of Science.’ He was always very affectionate with Mitch, Mitch’s mom and Mitch’s grandparents, but outside of his family bubble, he was... a bit distant. I could tell though, by his demeanor, that he was trying to open up to me in a new way. To accept me into his family.
"Thank you, Doctor..." I began, but he stopped me.
"Dad, Donnie. Call me ‘Dad.’" Again, he was a little stilted, but he was trying.
"Ok, dad," I smiled. "Would you mind if I... hugged you?"
He smiled back at me. "That would be very nice, my dear."
We hugged. It was formal and a bit stiff at first, but it became more relaxed and familiar in a second or two.
"Hey, hey, hey!" We turned and saw Mitch smiling, which, of course, he had been doing all night. "That’s my wife you have there, Mister!" Then he laughed. "That’s the first time I’ve said that. My wife. I like how that sounds."
I hugged Mitch. "Me too. You can say it as often as you’d like."
The rest of the night was a blur of dancing, smiling faces congratulating us, kisses, hugs, the feel of Mitch’s big, firm hand on my mostly exposed back, the cool, nighttime air, the moon reflected on the water, the smell of hibiscus and Hawaiian lilies, the caress of my gown, the caress of my hair, the caress of Mitch’s scratchy cheek... it’s all just a blurry memory of happiness.
It was well past midnight before we made it back to the suite. Most of the late evening had been spent saying goodbye to all the people who would be leaving the next day. Even though I knew we’d see them all again in another week, it felt like we were saying goodbye forever.
I kicked off my shoes and asked Mitch to untie me so that I could be released from my dress.
He was about to undo the laces, but stopped and sat on the bed. "Come here," he said with a grin.
When I was close enough, he pulled me close, so I was standing between his legs. With him seated on the bed and me standing, his forehead was just about even with my mouth. He put his arms around my waist and looked up at me. He laughed. "My wife. I’m having a hard time getting used to that. My best friend Donald is now my wife."
Hearing him say my boy-name hit me like a sledge hammer and I must have shown it because he asked, "What’s the matter?"
"It’s just... please... never call me that again, ok?"
"I’m sorry," he nodded. "Never again. As far as I’m concerned, life began ten days ago when I saw you looking like this for the first time. My wife. My beautiful, gorgeous, sexy wife. I just wanted to say... I love you, Donnie. You’ve become my whole world. From here on out, we are partners, ok? No more ‘yours’ and ‘mine.’ From now on, everything is ‘ours.’ We share everything. Our lives, our home, our joys, our sorrows... everything. Ok?"
"Ok," I smiled down at him. Then I looked at what part of my body was level with his mouth and I asked, "Could I ask you a favor?"
"Anything," he replied sincerely.
"Kiss me."
"My pleasure," he replied and stretched his neck towards my face.
I shook my head though. "Not on the lips." He looked confused for a moment, until I pointed to the exposed skin between my breasts. "Here."
He looked at where I’d pointed, then back to my face to be certain. I nodded.
He moved slowly and placed a long, soft kiss just where I’d pointed. The feel of it sent warm, excited shivers down my spine. I’m sure he felt me quake, because he immediately kissed the same place, again and, this time, I felt his hands slide down from my lower back so that he could feel my buttocks. The feeling of his strength, the firmness of his hands and the softness of my gown were intoxicating. I hadn’t had a drink in days, yet I felt lightheaded and giddy. My breathing increased and I arched my back a little to give his lips more access and his lips took advantage. His soft lips and warm breath filled me with desire in a way that I’d never felt before. As a man, my desire was just to take and grunt and sleep, but now, as a woman, I wanted more. I wanted... Mitch.
All of Mitch.
His kisses.
His affection.
His touch.
All of him.
I wrapped my arms around his head. I hugged him to my chest and I knew what I really wanted. I wanted to be his.
I loosened my grip and I quickly dropped to my knees.
Mitch looked shocked. "Donnie..."
"Shh..." I said as I undid the waist of his tuxedo pants. "I’m as sober as a judge and I know exactly what I’m doing. I want to do this with Mitch. I want to be your wife."
Before he could say anything else, I pulled his pants free and lowered them to his ankles. Then, I did the same with his boxers. And there it was, looking at me. Another man’s penis. Thick, erect and musky.
I hesitated, but just for a moment. It was new to me, of course, but I’d performed oral on Nancy before. How was this any different?
It was, though. I wouldn’t be entering her - I’d be accepting Mitch into me.
That was very different.
I’d never knelt down in front of Nancy, either.
Now, there I was, knelt in supplication before a man.
No.
Not just a man.
My husband.
I was on my knees before my husband.
All of those thoughts flew through my head in less than ten seconds and I decided that I was going to be his wife from here on out. In every way.
His partner.
His supporter.
And most importantly – his lover.
Before Mitch was able to offer me a reprieve, I leaned forward and I kissed the side of his shaft. It wasn’t bad. It was warm, a bit musky, but it was Mitch’s musk. I’d smelled it before, it was just a bit more... intense down there. I kissed it again and that made it twitch a little, thicken a little, grow a little and that... excited me.
This time, I kissed the tip, then ran my tongue around the head and that made Mitch gasp. That excited me even more. In a weird way, as I knelt there, in my silver gown with the gold branches stitched into it, with my hair and makeup done to perfection, with the bridal lei still crowning my head, I felt almost powerful – but not like I’d ever felt as a man. I felt a feminine power flowing, rather than surging, through me. I could bring joy to the man I loved. That was a new and wonderful power and I found it titillating, in the truest sense of that word.
The time had come. I worked my tongue along his shaft, from its base to its tip, and when I reached the head, I drew it into my mouth and I felt... glorious. It was warm and it was thick and it was hard and it was Mitch and I loved Mitch.
I think I was more excited than Mitch was by that point. There was no part of a man left in me. I drew him into me as deeply as I could and I could feel him shiver and gasp. He was getting overwrought, very quickly.
His hands began to pat my hair, but before too long, the patting stopped and he just rested his hands on my temples and began to thrust into my mouth.
Now, here’s something you need to remember: At that point in time, I had only been with one person before and that was Nancy. We got so that we could anticipate what each other wanted during sex, but this was different. I was just starting to learn how Mitch responded.
As for Mitch, the only person he’d ever been with was me and that was a few nights ago during my blackout. He didn’t really even know himself, yet.
Before I knew it, and far quicker than I expected, Mitch let out a massive groan, his organ began to spasm and I felt him begin to fill my mouth with seed. I should have pulled off, as Nancy always had with me. I didn’t, though. Instead, I increased my efforts and I milked him right through his orgasm, swallowing every, precious drop of him and I kept right on suckling and swallowing until he softened in my mouth. Then, I gave him a few last licks before sitting back on my heels and looking up at him as his breathing retuned to normal.
"Oh, my God," he gasped. "That was... amazing..."
I smiled. "Then I did ok for my first time?"
He chuckled. "You sure did." He breathed some more. "But that wasn’t exactly your first time."
I shook my head. "Yes, it was, Mitch. That wasn’t me the other night. I wasn’t there. This is me."
"Good." Mitch laughed as he put one hand under each of my arms and lifted me completely off of the floor and dropped me onto the bed beside him. He positioned himself along side of me and ran a gentle finger across my nipple. "Because that means that you’re as amazing at this as you are at everything else."
He kissed my nipple through the thin silk and I felt a bolt of electricity shoot through me. I couldn’t understand the feeling. My nipples were still small and boyish, but I could feel them swelling under his lips.
As he continued to kiss, his hand slipped under the cup of my dress and he began to massage my breast, sending me into a sensory overload! I didn’t shiver or quiver or shake. I writhed in unbridled, wonton desire. I needed Mitch and I needed him badly. I needed him to take me.
His mouth stayed busy on my breast, but his hand rode the sleek material of my gown till it came to the front slit that ran to my waist and he slid his hand into my skirts to caress the lacy, silky, flat front of my panties. I thrust against his hand, the touch of his lips and fingers driving me insane.
His fingers slipped under the delicate waistband of my panties and he played with the delicate, heart shaped tuft of trimmed hair, tickling me into a frenzy.
Then, I heard myself let out an emphatic yelp. "No! Please not there!"
Mitch’s fingers had been creeping towards my taped up phallus and I had to stop him.
"What did I do?" Mitch asked, confused, and probably a bit gun shy from my behavior earlier in the week, after my blackout.
"Nothing, but... please, Mitch... never touch me there. Never think of me as having that. I couldn’t bear it if you didn’t think of me as a woman. Please."
Mitch slid his hand slowly out of my panties. "I’m sorry...."
"No," I interrupted. "Don’t be... just... take me."
He cocked his head a little. "Take you? You mean...?"
I nodded and rolled onto my belly, pulling my skirts clear, exposing my silk covered rear. "Take me." I tucked my knees under my belly and raised myself so that there was doubt as to what I was asking.
Mitch raised the skirts that still hung on my bottom. He kissed the material of the panties, then slowly lowered them to my knees. He gently adjusted my skirts so that they were clear of my bottom. He kissed the naked skin of my lower back and cheeks, then rubbed them as he rose and took his place behind me.
I felt him rub himself against me, and I could feel him growing harder as he maneuvered himself closer to my opening. Then I felt him lean forward and kiss the exposed skin of my back. "I love you," he whispered.
"I love you, too," I whispered back.
The tip of his penis crept between my cheeks and pushed gently on my opening and I gasped when it slipped into me. It hurts at first, but then – it was glorious. If the clothes I’d been wearing for the previous ten days hadn’t already changed me in irreversible ways, that moment did.
It was like nothing I’d ever felt as a man.
It was submission, but not.
It was acceptance.
It was coupling.
It was merging.
It was becoming one with a stronger force.
It shook me to my core and I became Mitch’s in ways I never thought I could. I was his, heart, mind, body and soul from that moment and forever.
I became unaware of anything except Mitch being inside of me. I was lost in the pleasure and pain that each thrust brought to me. I was on the verge of passing out from the sensory overload when, suddenly, Mitch reached orgasm and that triggered a feeling inside me like an explosion at my core that reached to the tips of my fingers and toes and excited every molecule of my being. I shook and I screamed and I gripped the sheets with my hands and I wanted that feeling to last forever, but...
You know how these things go, though. All too soon, I felt Mitch growing soft and pulling out of me.
I felt empty, suddenly. Empty in a way I’d never experienced before. I wanted him back inside me, but knew from first hand experience that he needed to recover before we could even consider another round of love making.
Before the night was over, though, we’d tried my new favorite sport three more ways. With me facing Mitch, with me on top of Mitch and with Mitch standing and holding me by my splayed legs.
Each time, each way was just as glorious as the first and I wanted nothing more than to keep at it all night, but eventually, we both needed to sleep.
I didn’t wake for hours and hours and when I did, I was still in my ‘bridal’ gown. What a tramp, right!? Mitch was just coming out of the shower wearing a big smile and nothing else. "Good morning," I muttered as I pushed my disheveled hair from my face.
He laughed. "Good afternoon, you mean. It’s nearly two o’clock."
That woke me all the way up. "You’re kidding!?"
He sat on the edge of the bed, kissed me and smiled. "Nope. I think we wore each other out last night."
I looked down at my wrinkled, slightly soiled, gown. "I think we may have ruined my gown, too. That’s a shame. I really like it."
Mitch chuckled at that. "I’m sure that it’ll be fine after we have it dry cleaned."
I grimaced. "Yeah... I’d be a little embarrassed to have someone see the stains we left on this."
That made Mitch let out a belly laugh. "I’m sure they’ve seen much worse. I doubt they’ll even notice. Let’s get you out of that and we’ll send it to be laundered."
I got up and stood with my back to Mitch so that he could release me from the lacings. His big hands had some trouble with the delicate spaghetti strings.
"Mitch?" I asked as he worked the strings as gently as he could.
"Yes, babe?"
I had to smiled at his easy use of the nickname. "How come I never knew how wealthy you are? Or how how close to making partner you were?"
Mitch stopped his unlacing for a moment. "Should I have told you about those things? I mean... we weren’t a couple, then."
I looked over my shoulder. "I guess not, it’s just... didn’t you ever want to brag about things? I knew that you made more money than me, but I had no idea that you were so successful. Didn’t you ever want to tell me about that?"
I felt the strings on my back loosen, as Mitch sighed and said, "Donnie... My dad is a wealthy guy who taught me to never flaunt our success. Besides... I knew you were struggling and you wouldn’t accept my help. What should I have done? Brag about how well I was doing? Wouldn’t that have hurt your feelings? I was just doing what I thought was right."
My gown fell loose to settle on the ground. I turned and faced him, my breasts level with his eyes. I stepped forward a half step and looked at his handsome face. I rubbed my hand along his rugged chin and smiled just a little. "We’ve been together for decades and we’re only just getting to know each other."
He chuckled as he leaned forward and kissed my little right nipple. "You’re just getting to know me, Donnie. I know everything about you." He kissed my other little nipple. "I know your favorite ice cream is cookie dough. I know that your favorite color is baby blue. I know that you tell people that your favorite song is ‘Smoke on the Water,’ but really it’s ‘The Climb.’"
That made me laugh. "Maybe I won’t have to hide my secret love for Miley Cyrus anymore, now that I’m a woman."
He kissed the skin over my breastplate. "Donnie... I will never keep a secret from you, again, ok?"
I nodded. "I wasn’t accusing you of lying, Mitch. I just... I‘ve just been so... impressed by everything about you since this all began." He smiled, but he still looked humble. I hugged him to my breasts. "Mitch... I never thought I’d ever be this happy. I love you so, so, much."
He nuzzled my breasts. "I love you, too, Donnie, and I’d love to pick things up where we left off last night, but we’re having dinner with our family at six and knowing you... it may take you all afternoon to get ready."
"Our family?" I asked.
"Yeah. OUR family. Your mother-on-law, your father-in-law, my sister-inlaw and her wife. OUR family."
I shook my head. "You are really something, Mitchell. Thank God I came to my senses and became your wife."
Mitch looked up at me with the most satisfied smile I’ve ever seen. "Thank God, indeed. Now, go shower and get ready. I’ll get dressed and go grab us a little fruit for a snack to hold us over till dinner." He kissed my lips, then turned me around and gave my rear a playful slap. "Go on, now."
I let out a surprised gasp. "You... You... I thought you were a nice guy!"
He winked as he stood in all of his naked glory. "Go on, now, woman. Git!" He tried to give my fanny another playful slap, but I side stepped him and skipped naked into the lav.
"You better watch yourself, mister!" I teased. "I’m a married woman!"
We both laughed as I shut the bathroom door.
So, at the risk of sounding frivolous, it actually did take me most of the afternoon to get ready for dinner, but there was a reason for that. See, even though I’d seriously overpacked, I had worn nearly everything I’d brought. So, I had to send everything that I’d already worn to the laundry, which left me with only one dress to wear to dinner. It was very cute – a spaghetti strap, sweetheart neck, concoction that Marie had had warned me against wearing to any company events because it was ‘too revealing.’
It kinda was, but it was cute as hell, too.
The top was white lace with the spaghetti strap forming the halter top. The navy blue, flower print bottom looked like a wrap-around skirt. It opened in the front with an asymmetrical hem that flowed beautifully when I walked.
Yes, it was revealing, but it was also adorable.
We had reservations at a restaurant off of the resort. Yelp.com said it was a nice, family run place with a high end feel. Apparently, Hilda had been to Hawaii before and this was her favorite restaurant on this island, so we all met up in the lobby and we went in two cars. Mitch’s mom and dad rode in one car and Marie and Hilda rode in a car with Mitch and me.
"You look cute," Marie said as she looked me over. "I hear that you were the fashion maven of the entire retreat, huh?"
"She was," Mitch laughed. "This is my third retreat and I have never seen a woman receive so much attention from all the other women. I was actually asked, on more than one occasion, what Donnie would be wear to this event or that event. Wives were texting their husbands on the golf course to tell them to ask me. She was the hit of the whole trip. I guess we have you to thank for that."
"Me and Randall," Marie laughed. "And your credit card. I’m surprised that it didn’t melt from all the use it got."
"It’s only money," Mitch shrugged. "There’s always more money to be made. Who cares how much we had to spend. Donnie looked spectacular!" He put his arm around me and hugged me close. "She still does."
"And you always will, won’t you, liebchen?" Hilda leaned forward and took my hand. "Our own little Cinderella who went to the ball and found her prince. Just like in the fairytale."
I smiled at that. "Thank you, Hilda. Oh, and speaking of going to balls... you wouldn’t believe how well this guy can dance!" I pointed at Mitch. "We didn’t get to dance as much last night as usual, because everyone was congratulating us and saying their goodbyes, but you should see him swing dance! I couldn’t keep up with him! He’s amazing."
"Really?" Marie laughed. "Another hidden talent, huh? Hilda loves to swing dance, too. We’ll have to go dancing some night after we get home."
"Or, tonight in the ballroom of the hotel," Mitch said and looked at Hilda. "They have a swing band every Thursday, Friday and Saturday. What do you say, Hilda? Would you be willing to cut a rug with me?"
"Can I lead?" Hilda asked with a deadpan delivery.
"Oh..." Mitch sputtered, confused. "That might be a little... awkward. I never..."
"Oh, don’t be idiotic." Hilda laughed – sometimes she used harsher words than she meant. She probably meant ‘silly,’ but every now and then you realized that English wasn’t her first language. "I can lead or follow. I would love to dance with you – any of you – if we get back in time."
Mitch laughed and nodded.
The restaurant was lovely! Kind of a mixture of an old fashioned English pub and a Hawaiian themed place. It was all very tasteful, though. I had planned on having fish, as I’d had for most meals since arriving on the island, but the waiter suggested I try the filet mignon which had come from local cattle, so I did. Oh, lord, I’ll tell you, I have never had beef like that before. It was tender and delicious and served in a pineapple sauce that just made the meat taste heavenly! Mitch and his dad had big helpings of coconut cream pie for dessert, while Mitch’s mom, Marie, Hilda and I all shared a flight of sorbets made locally with local, tropical fruits. It was one of the best meals I’d ever had.
As the meal wound down, Mitch’s dad cleared his throat and said, "We’d like to give you our wedding present, now." He handed Mitch an envelope and he and Mitch’s mom smiled in anticipation.
Mitch opened the envelope and stared at the papers inside, but he said nothing.
When the silence went on a bit too long, I asked, "What is it, honey?"
Mitch shook his head and looked at his parents, then at me. "They bought us a vacation home."
"What?" I couldn’t believe what Mitch had said.
Mitch looked at his parents in disbelief.
Mitch’s mom explained. "Donnie, last year, Mitch’s dad and I bought a little island on Lake Winnipesaukee, up in New Hampshire. It’s a beautiful spot, off of Moultonboro point. It’s just six acres, but that’s plenty of room for two nice houses. When we hired contractors to build our house, it cost us quite a bit to have electricity brought out and deal with all the permits and everything, so we figured that, at some point, Mitchell would want to spend some time there, too, so we had a lovely second house built as well. It’s yours, now, dear. Yours and Mitchell’s. We hope that you enjoy it for years to come.
"Mom... Dad..." I sputtered. "I can’t... I can’t thank you enough! That’s unbelievable!"
Mitch, still stunned, handed the paperwork to me. I looked at the picture of the newly constructed, Victorian style house. It was lovely. I was stunned, too. Marie looked over my shoulder and saw the beautiful house and the beach just beyond it. "Wow! That is gorgeous. We’ll be up on the Fourth of July and every weekend, all summer long. Don’t worry, we don’t make many demands. Just three gourmet meals a day and we’ll want to be entertained round the clock."
I smiled and passed the paperwork along so she and Hilda could see it.
"Hmm." Hilda shrugged. "We bought you a robotic vacuum cleaner. We thought that was a big present, but this... this is... big."
We all laughed and, after settling the bill, we went back to the resort to go dancing.
We had a great time. Mitch’s mom and dad could really dance up a storm, too! It was really only Marie and me who couldn’t keep up. We danced the slow dances with our partners, but anything upbeat and Mitch and Hilda were out on the floor together having a great time.
About an hour or so after we arrived, my new father-in-law asked me to dance to a slow song with him. It was a little odd, of course. I mean... he’d known me my whole life and only known me as a woman for about thirty hours. He was very sweet, though. He complimented me on my dress and told me how happy he was that Mitch and I were married... things like that.
When the song ended, he took my hand and led me towards the edge of the dance floor. As we approached our table, though, he said to the others, "My new daughter-in-law and I are going to go have a little talk, together. We’ll be right back."
I could see a look of worry pass over the faces of my sister, sisters in-law and husband, but Mitch’s mom just smiled and said, "Alright, dear. We’ll be right here."
I was very concerned. Was this ‘the other shoe’ about to drop?
We stopped at the bar where he said to the bartender, "I’ll have a Guinness." Then he turned to me. "What would you like, Donnie?"
I sputtered for a moment before saying, "Oh... nothing, thanks. I’ve given up alcohol... at least for a while."
Mitch’s dad nodded, then turned to the bartender again and said, "The lady will have a Shirley Temple."
As the man prepared our drinks, I asked, "What’s a Shirley Temple?"
Mitch’s dad laughed. "It’s just ginger ale with a splash of grenadine syrup and a cherry. You’ll like it, I’m sure."
He carried our drinks and led me out to a large balcony where only a few people had gathered. He looked around for a moment and headed to a couple of large, padded chairs, away from the other people. He put our drinks on the small table between the chairs and said, "Have a seat, dear. Don’t worry, this is not an inquisition. I just want to have a chat."
I smoothed my skirts as I sat and I crossed my legs at the knees, which allowed my skirts to fall to the sides, exposing my slender, smooth legs through the opening of the faux wrap-around design. I felt very exposed, but Mitch’s dad didn’t seem to notice at all. He just handed me my drink and encouraged me to try it. I did and it was delicious, if a bit sweeter than I expected. Mitch’s dad took a long pull on his Guinness as he looked around before sitting.
I’ve never really understood the appeal of stout. I’ve tried it a few times and I’ve tried different brands -Guinness, Murphy’s Beamish – it didn’t matter. The thick, black, viscous drink always tasted like sour bread to me – not ‘sour dough bread,’ just sour bread.
Eventually, Mitch’s dad sat, crossed his legs, too, then smiled uncomfortably at me.
"Well... Donnie..." He seemed to stall there.
I tried to help. "Look, Dr... Umm.... Dad... I think I know what you’re going to say and I know that it must be a little weird to have me and Mitch become a couple and then get married, but..."
"What?" he interrupted me. "Weird? You and Mitch? No, no, no, Donnie, not at all. In fact, I’m rather surprised that it took as long as it did for you two to figure all of this out. I never dreamed that you’d be living as a woman, but other than that, I can’t say that I’m surprised at all."
I nodded to encourage him, but I was a little confused as to his point, now.
"Look, Donnie... when you were younger... I always thought of you as our...’other son.’ You were more than just Mitch’s friend – you were part of the family. Now... now, you truly are part of the family and... forgive me, this I know that I can be a bit obtuse at times and I’m trying not to be. Now... now... I’d like to think of you as my daughter and for you to think of me as your father." He stopped and looked at me. "Am I being clear?"
"I think so," I said, but I was still a bit confused.
He nodded. "Good... anyway... Because of who I am and what I do, I can’t help but think of things in medical terms, which I know can be frustrating to my family, but..." He took a deep breath. "Donnie – you are living precariously at the moment and you need to be very cautious about how you live from here on out."
I nodded. "I understand. Mitch and I have talked and he is going to have all of my records altered to indicate that I’ve always been female and..."
"Donnie, Donnie..." He laughed self consciously. "No. Look, I am talking about your health. Your physical and mental health. Right now, you’re living in the glow of romance, but... changing your sex, even changing the way you present your self... these are huge things, Donnie and... well... you need to care for yourself appropriately. You need to speak to the appropriate doctors and you need to do it soon – not later when it may be too late to deal with the problems."
Suddenly, I felt very uncomfortable and I think he sensed it, because he looked away and took a long pull on his Guinness.
I faltered as I tried to find the right words. "I... Umm... I... I don’t think I’m going to have the reassignment surgery, Doctor... Umm... Dad. At least not to my genitals," God I felt so awkward talking to Mitch’s dad about these things. "So..."
He put down his stout glass and took my hand in his. "Donnie... you need counseling. You can’t just go along as if nothing has changed. I know of too many people who have gone down this road alone and it never ends well without appropriate counseling. I want you to be happy, honey. Please, see someone. I have a colleague whom I trust and I could set up an appointment for you, but if you’d rather go to someone else, that’s fine, too, but please, please promise me that you’ll see someone sooner rather than later."
Mitch’s father looked directly into my eyes and I felt how important this was to him, so I nodded. "O...Ok. I’ll see your colleague as soon as we get home."
He took a breath and sat back, but he took a very clinical look at my cleavage as he did so. "I am assuming that your breasts are currently enhanced using saline shots, correct. Administered by your sister’s wife, I suspect. That is, after all, a movie-makeup trick."
I nodded.
"If you want to wear fashions like that, Donnie, then you’re going to need to have those surgically enhanced, you do realize that."
I glanced down at my newly acquired pride and joy. "I do."
Mitch’s dad nodded. "I can set up an appointment for that, too, if you’d like. One of my golf buddies is a plastic surgeon. Very competent. Very discreet. I can call him and have that taken care of for you in the first couple of days after your return. Would you like me to do that."
As embarrassing as this conversation was, I was relieved that he was offering me a permanent solution to my breast issues. "I would like that, very much. Thank you."
He nodded. "Your face, Donnie... it’s quite sticking, you know, but... well, you’ve been lucky up to this point. Your skin is still soft and your overall presentation is still androgynous enough to have not given away your birth gender, but that will change over time. Hormones are the only solution for that and, as much as I want to help you, I can’t just prescribe those for you. You’ll need to work with your counselor for awhile before that regime can start. She – or any counselor you choose - will have to approve that kind of treatment before the hormones are prescribed. You understand that, right? Life has chosen a tough road for you and I want to help you if I can. I think I may have made you uncomfortable, but I want you to know that you can always come to me – to us – if we can help you. Help you with anything. Ok?"
Now, I took his hand in mine. "Dad," I still needed to get used to that, "thank you for caring enough to talk to me about all of this. I know that it must have been as uncomfortable for you as it was for me, but... well... thank you, and I’ll follow your advice. Thank you."
Mitch’s dad nodded. "Good. I’m glad we had this chat." Then he smiled broadly at me. "All I want is for you to be happy and well, Donnie. We’ve always loved you and we just want you and Mitch both to be happy and have a long, healthy life together." He took another pull from his stout. "We should get back."
He helped me stand and then surprised me by putting his arm around my shoulders and guiding me back into the ballroom.
As we approached the others, Marie saw my glass and said, "Ohh, that looks good. Can I try it?"
Before I could answer, she snatched the glass from me and took a sip. She looked at me confused, then took another, bigger sip. "Is this a Shirley Temple?"
I laughed and nodded.
"Lord, you really are a good girl, aren’t you?" She laughed as she passed my glass back to me.
"Excuse me," a young woman in Hawaiian garb interrupted us. "Would you like a group picture taken?"
"Yes!" Mitch’s mom said excitedly. "Here," she put two chairs together, "Donnie, come sit with me. I want my new daughter next to me in our first family photo. Mitch, you and your dad get behind me and Marie and Hilda, behind Donnie." She took my hands and we sat very close. "Oh, I’m so happy," she smiled at all of us. "I finally have a big family and we’re all together. Isn’t this wonderful!?"
I had to agree. It was.
To Be Continued...
Hawaiian Retreat - 8
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the prospect of a new job and life as Mitch's wife.
Author's Note: At the time of this writing, in mid 2020, and unfortunately, despite all of my precautions, I tested positive for COVID 19, which has substantially complicated my life. I am, at this time, asymptomatic, but it has disrupted my daily life in a lot of purely bothersome ways. Thank you, everyone, for the kind, supportive comments you've left on these installments. I truly appreciate your critiques and input, and now, more than ever, I want to know if you are safe and well. ~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 8 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 8
As we approached the others, Marie saw my glass and said, "Ohh, that looks good. Can I try it?"
Before I could answer, she snatched the glass from me and took a sip. She looked at me confused, then took another, bigger sip. "Is this a Shirley Temple?"
I laughed and nodded.
"Lord, you really are a good girl, aren't you?" She laughed as she passed my glass back to me.
"Excuse me," a young woman in Hawaiian garb interrupted us. "Would you like a group picture taken?"
"Yes!" Mitch's mom said, excitedly. "Here," she put two chairs together, "Donnie, come sit with me. I want my new daughter next to me in our first family photo. Mitch, you and your dad get behind me and Marie and Hilda, behind Donnie." She took my hands and we sat very close. "Oh, I'm so happy," she smiled at all of us. "I finally have a big family and we're all together. Isn't this wonderful!?"
I had to agree. It was.
The joyful vacation/honeymoon with our whole family lasted two more days and we all enjoyed every moment. Marie, Mitch's mom and I went shopping in the town, had our toe nails done together - not that any of us needed to have them done, it was just a whim. There was a nail salon and as we passed it, Mom suggested a quick pedicure, so in we went. It was a wonderful, spontaneous, adventure in womanhood.
Mitch and his dad enjoyed a casual round of golf one morning while Hilda went to the set of a TV series that was filmed in Hawaii to visit friends in the movie trade. The next day, though, she joined them on the links, and from what I heard, she turned their casual game into a very competitive one. Mitch said that he and his dad had to really up their game to keep from being embarrassed. In the end, Hilda beat Dad by fourteen strokes and Mitch only beat Hilda by four strokes. Turns out my sister-in-law is a world class golfer! Who knew?
On their last evening before leaving for the airport, we all ate at the resort's nicest restaurant. Mitch and his dad looked handsome in their nicely tailored suits, Mom wore a lovely, lavender dress, Hilda was in a chic, black pantsuit with a scooped neck, white blouse, Marie wore her favorite black dress, a lovely, cap-sleeved, form fitting sheath that hugged her curves perfectly.
What did I wear? Oh, well, you know me by now! I just had to make a show of it! While we were out shopping, we went into a beautiful little boutique where I found the perfect little Ralph Lauren dress - nave blue, with a vivid hibiscus print on it. Sweetheart neckline, tiny spaghetti straps, form fitting, hemline falling just above my knees, bright shocks of blue and red flowers with green stems and leaves all around the dress... just a perfect little dress to wear to dinner.
I also wore my mother's pearls that Marie had loaned me. I wanted Marie to take them home with her the next day, so this was my last hurrah with them.
"Oh, God, Mitchell," Mom said when we joined all of them in the lobby, "doesn't she look gorgeous in that? I don't know how a quite guy like you did it, but you certainly landed a beautiful wife." Then she turned to me, took both my hands in hers and kissed my cheek. "And how is my favorite daughter this evening?"
"She's your daughter-in-law, mom," Mitch laughed.
"Oh, shut up and let me have my fun," Mom teased in reply. She took my arm and led me aside, "When we get back home and you're all settled in, I'd really like to have a nice, long talk with you, Donnie."
"Actually," I said, seeing an opening, "I'd like to talk to you as well. See, I might be starting a new job as an Art teacher and I was wondering if I could sit down and talk to you about that. Maybe get some pointers on how to run my classes and, you know, actually create a good program for the kids."
Mom's eyes shot wide open. "Oh, Donnie, how wonderful! I'd be thrilled to help you with that in any way that I can. What I'd like to to also talk about is... well... it probably seems a bit sexist to assume that, now that you're a woman, you may have an interest in cooking and baking and things like that, but if you are at all interested..."
"Are you kidding!?" I burst out. "I've always been interested in cooking and ESPECIALLY in baking. I go crazy at Christmas time making cookies and pastries... if you could teach me to be better at those, I'd be very grateful!"
Mom smiled and her eyes welled up a bit. "Oh, Donnie, I'm so glad to hear you say that. It's going to be so nice to have another girl around the house! Mitchell doesn't show any interest in these kinds of family traditions and I was starting to despair that all of my recipes and cooking methods - everything that I was taught by my mother and she was taught her mother, etc., for generations - was all going to be thrown out when I passed away."
She hugged me tightly. "Thank you, dear."
"Are you kidding?" I was shocked by her words. "Thank YOU, Mom. I want to learn everything you can teach me. Who knows, maybe someday Mitch and I will adopt a child or two and we can teach my daughters together."
Before, Mom's eyes were watery, now they shed tears. Happy tears. "Oh, Donnie, that would be wonderful and... I do so love it when you call me 'Mom.'"
That made me smile.
Just then the hostess told us that our table was ready and she ushered us into the restaurant.
I can't imagine what Dad paid for the meal, but I suspect that it was probably more than I'd paid for every meal I'd eaten for the past year! It was delicious, though. Everything from salad to dessert was amazing.
As we chatted during the meal, Mitch was explaining to everyone what he'd already done to have my 'legal sexual designation' changed on a whole slew of documents. My records at Umass had already been changed to indicate that my name was 'Dawn' and that my sex was 'Female,' and the license I'd used to get through TSA security before flying to Hawaii was now my permanent license, etc.
"So," Mom asked as she turned to Marie, who, along with Hilda, had also been charged with referring to Mitch's mother only as 'Mom,' "are you happy about having a sister, now?"
Marie laughed, "You mean 'a sister I LIKE,' right? I do have two other sisters, but those two..." she held a hand flat in front of her and wobbled it from side to side, "...not so much."
Mom laughed at that. "Oh, of course. I'd forgotten all about your older sisters. What are their names, again?"
"Claudia and Angela," Marie said, politely enough, but I could sense the dislike in her voice.
"Yes, yes," Mom nodded. "Lovely women, as I recall." Marie knew better than to air family laundry to outsiders, so she just nodded as Mom continued. "I guess they couldn't make it to the wedding, then?"
Mitch heard the conversation and jumped in, "Mom, that's my fault. I didn't think to invite them. I'll call and apologize when we get home."
I figured that Mitch was just trying to divert his mother, but I needed to put an end to any discussion of involving my older sisters in my affairs, at least for a good long while. "Oh, ummm, that's ok, honey. You don't need to do that." Then I looked at Mom and said, "Claudia and Angela aren't really... close to Rie and me. I don't think we need to tell them anything for now. Later, perhaps, but for now, let's just... leave them out of all of this."
Mom looked confused and concerned. "Oh... you're not close? Oh, what a shame, Donnie. You know that family is everything to us. I do hope that you will reconcile someday."
"Not likely..." Marie began in her 'let me tell you something' voice, but Hilda interrupted.
"You see, their older siblings have behaved... selfishly... towards Marie and Donnie. It was their decision to create the distance between them. Marie, and particularly, Donnie, have made attempts to resolve their differences, but, alack, the older siblings have made it clear that they want no relationship with the younger. It is sad, but such is life."
Marie and I both looked at each other and smiled when Hilda said, 'alack.' It was one of those little quirks you hear from someone who first learned the English language in a very formal way. She'd probably learned it while reading a Shakespeare play or something. We'd never call her on it, of course, because it was, technically, correct, if idiomatically obscure. Besides, we both found it endearing.
"Oh, but it is still a shame," Mom shook her head.
"Let it be, now, dear," Mitch's Dad shook his head. "The kids are old enough to deal with these things on their own. If they want to reach out to these women, then they will. You just need to stay out of it." He laughed as he shook his head.
Mom shook her head at Dad. "I just think it's sad, that's all I'm saying. Families are like flowers. They need to be watered and cared for."
"I always say that our family is like jazz," Marie said.
Mom nodded in agreement. "Because you make it up as you go along?"
"No," Marie was thrilled to have an opening to be a smart ass, "because it sucks."
Hilda looked straight at me and said, "I hate that joke," but the exchange made Dad guffaw loudly and that guffaw made everyone else laugh as well, which eased the tension that inevitably existed when we talked about our older sisters.
Too soon, though, it was time for the others to get changed and head to the airport. There weren't any tears, but leaving each other, even for a few days, seemed more difficult than ever before. Mitch and I waved from the entrance to the resort as the limousine that Mitch had arranged pulled away and disappeared down the driveway.
When the car was out of sight, Mitch put his arm around my back and smiled at me. "I guess it's just you and me, now."
I smiled up at him. "I guess. It's almost like a real honeymoon, huh?"
He laughed and nodded. "I guess so. Let's take a walk on the beach."
We did, and it was warm and romantic and beautiful. We talked about our future, the possibilities of building a life together, and then Mitch said, "Did I hear you say something to my mother about adopting kids?"
I smiled and shrugged. "Yeah, I did, but... even as the words came out of my mouth, I was wondering where that had come from."
We were walking along the shoreline, letting the warm sea water wash across our feet. Mitch was silent for a few moments before asking, "Is that something you want to do?"
I was kind of astounded that we were having this conversation, to tell you the truth. I thought about it for a few minutes before I answered. "I... I think I always thought that I'd have children, but now... I guess adoption is the only way, so... yes. I'd like to consider adopting a child or two, someday."
Mitch nodded. "Ok. Let's look into it, then."
That was it. It was mentioned, it was discussed and Mitch set his mind to accomplishing it. Every minute I spent with him made me more impressed than I was a minute earlier. How did I ever get so lucky as to have wound up with this guy!?
That night, I wore the nightie that Marie had encouraged me to buy at Victoria's Secret. Immediately upon pulling it over my head, I knew exactly what she meant about how the garment made me feel. I don't even know why it made me feel as sexy as it did - but it certainly did! It was no silkier than my other nighties. It didn't have any more lace than my other nightie. It wasn't even shorter than my other nighties, but it was a joy to wear and it made me feel amazing.
It caught Mitch's eye, too. Within three minutes of me entering the bedroom with that nightie on, my panties were off, there was a pillow under my belly and Mitch was positioning himself to take me again. Mitch would have liked to have had sex with me on my back, but I just couldn't let him see my... you know... taped up between my legs. I just wanted him to go on thinking of me as a woman... as his woman... forever. I know that might sound stupid, I mean we'd be in locker rooms together growing up, so not only did he know it was there, he'd actually seen it, but I just wanted to be 'his girl' and not his buddy.
Our last few days in Hawaii were as beautiful and wonderful as every previous day had been, and before we knew it, it was time to go home. I felt bad for the poor maids who had to pack all of my clothing back into my luggage, but it was awfully nice to not have to do it myself. Mitch did tip them extremely well for their efforts, though.
The east bound flight was more mundane than the than the west bound flight had been. There was no need to 'dress to impress' upon landing. In fact, there was a need to 'dress to stay warm.' I left Hawaii in a short skirt and sleeveless blouse and got off the plane at Logan Airport in Boston in a long, mid-calf length, soft, wool, A-line dress. It was a grey background with squares of red and blue scattered about it in a seemingly hapless manner. It was long sleeved and the hem came to midcalf. It wasn't as sexy and pretty as what I'd worn in Hawaii, but it was a very handsome dress and it was very warm. Warm was the key word, too, because after two weeks in the warm, tropical sun, that cold slammed into me like a sledgehammer as soon as I walked out the door to the town car that Mitch had hired to drive us home.
We had a day off before Mitch had to return to work and I had to meet with the principal at my new job. Mostly we slept to catch up, but we did find a little time for some playtime as well. We were newlyweds, after all.
Mom made us some chicken stew for dinner that evening. She knew we'd be exhausted from the jet lag. It was delicious and I made a note to ask her to teach me how to make it. I did find a little time to meet with her that day to help me prep for my meeting. It was my understanding that I already had the job, but I wanted to impress the principal as much as possible and Mom gave me lots of ideas, as well as key phrases that teachers use. Things like 'develop a rigorous pedagogy' and 'create formative evaluation,' things like that. She interviewed me for an hour or so and corrected and coached me whenever I got stuck.
We also found a little time for Mitch and me to visit my house and figure out what I wanted to take with me to Mitch's. It wasn't a lot. Some old CDs and a video game system that Mitch didn't own. My clothes could all be thrown out, my kitchenette and bedroom sets were from IKEA and pretty worn out. I liked my coach, but it wasn't as nice as Mitch's, so I didn't really need it.
I'd given Nancy permission to walk Craig through the house before we returned because she wanted to get him as excited about buying the place as she was. I called her as Mitch looked through my financial records to see how much money Nancy had already spent on mortgage payments.
"Hi, Nan," I said, happy to be able to call her again.
"Hi!" She replied, very happy. "How's the blushing bride?"
I laughed at that. "Happy to be back, but missing the warmth."
"I know how you feel," Nancy agreed. "It's almost April, though, so there is warmth in our future."
I got to the point. "Look, Nan, I'm at the house, now and I'm kind of wondering if there's any furniture or appliances that you may want to keep. Mitch already has a house full of nice things and I don't need much of the stuff here..."
"Oh... Umm.... Yeah, I'm sure there is," she interrupted, "but... Donnie, we're in the car now and I was thinking that... I mean... can we swing by? We're only about three minutes away."
I grew a bit concerned by the tone of her question. Maybe they weren't interested in the place any more. I'd kind of hoped that they'd be buying it - not just because it would make the sale process easier, but because I knew that Nancy really did like the house. Maybe Craig didn't, though.
"Oh..." I sputtered. "Sure. Come on over."
"Great," she sounded upbeat, again. That was a good sign, right? "We'll be right over."
I told Mitch they were coming over and my concerns that they may have changed their minds about purchasing the house. Mitch shrugged and said, "It looks like Nancy paid about thirty percent of the mortgage in the time that she lived here. I'd say that was already a decent down payment. If you want to just transfer the deed to her and have her take over the payments, she has already paid nearly as much as you'd profit from the sale of the house. You're only a few years into a thirty year mortgage, so you've barely touched the principle."
I nodded. "I guess I'd be ok with that. I don't early want to make a profit off of Nancy. I'll just be glad that someone who loves the house will live here."
Seconds later, I heard the front door open and Nancy yell, "Hi!" from the living room. We greeted them, exchanged hugs and kisses and invited them to sit on the coach while I poured some soda into glasses and we sat and chatted.
Mitch first asked if they liked the property and wanted to purchase it. They said that they would buy it if the price was right. Mitch gave my records to Craig to examine and offered them the deal we'd discussed.
Craig looked at Nancy with raised eyebrows. "It's a very generous offer, if you want to take it."
Nancy looked at me and I could see that she was a bit excited. "Are you sure, Donnie?"
I nodded. "of course, Nan. I'll just be happy if you're happy in the house."
Nancy returned her attention to Craig and nodded. Craig took a breath and shrugged. "I guess you have a deal, then." He offered me a handshake that I happily accepted. Then he looked at Mitch and shook his hand, too, saying, "I guess I'll be getting some paperwork from your attorney, then."
Mitch laughed. "You will, indeed."
We were all very happy for a moment until Nancy said, "Umm... there is something that we need to talk about, though, and this is kind of important." She looked very serious about whatever it was that needed to be said.
"Is something wrong?" I asked.
"Possibly, but... possibly not," Nancy said as she sat back down on the couch.
"What is it?" I was concerned.
"If you don't want the furniture that's here," Mitch offered, "then we can arrange to have all of it removed. That's not a problem."
"No..." Nancy took a breath and prepped herself. ""Look, as your know, last week, we did a walk through and we were very respectful of your stuff, Donnie. We didn't open any closets or anything, but..." she pointed to the wall by my television.
I looked to see what she was pointing at and I let out a gasp. On the wall was a large frame that was filled with smaller pictures of some of the happiest moments of my life. Of course, I was in them and I was male in all the pictures. I'm sure that the pictures could have been explained away if it were not for the fact that both Mitch and Nancy appeared in many of the pictures and, naturally, my arm was around Nancy in a lot of them - and in several, we were kissing.
"I know that I promised not to say anything, but... I just couldn't lie to Craig about this. I had to explain everything to him."
The room was deathly quiet for a moment or two. I wanted to scream at Nancy for telling ANYONE, but who was I to ask her to lie to her fiancé? I looked at Mitch, who was obviously considering the situation, then I looked at Craig who was biting the knuckle of his thumb, nervously.
"Ok, look," Craig finally broke the silence, "I admit I was... surprised. I mean, I knew that Nancy had had a long relationship with a guy named 'Don,' but I never once, not for a second, suspected that 'Don' could be 'Donnie.' I mean... come on... look at you... there's nothing 'manly' about you at all. So, my first reaction to seeing those pictures was, I admit, shock and I guess I felt a little like a trick had been played on me. You know, like I'd been somehow duped by all of you guys, but... the more I thought about it, the more I realized that... I mean, cripes, we all change as we go through life and discover who we really are. Right? Donnie... I guess I'm just happy that you figured all of that out, and Mitch... if you and Donnie are happy together, then I'm happy for you."
He looked around the room to gauge our reactions, but neither Mitch nor I showed much emotion at that moment.
"Look," Craig continued, "trust me when I say that I am thrilled to be friends with you both. That I am madly in love with Nancy and that I would never, ever, ever say or do anything to hurt or upset any of you. No matter what, I am here to support you. I swear it."
Mitch suddenly stood and offered me a hand. "Would you excuse Donnie and me for a minute?" He said, a bit coolly. "We need to speak in private."
I stood, confused, took Mitch's hand and followed him into the kitchen. He gently closed the door between the two rooms and let out a big breath. Then he pulled out a kitchen chair for me, waited till I sat, then took a seat next to me. He took one of my hands in his, kissed it and said, "How are we going to handle things like this when they come up?"
I blinked at him, unable to understand the question. "Maybe it won't ever come up again..." I said, lamely.
Mitch just shook his head. "Donnie, no matter how much we change your history, there are people in this world who knew you before and every once in a while, one of them is going to surface and they are going to bring up the fact that you were once a man. I think we should agree upon how we're going to handle it."
"What?" I was dumbfounded. "Right now? You want to discuss how we're going to handle this for the rest of our lives RIGHT NOW!? With Nancy and Craig in the other room?"
He nodded and kissed my hand again. "Can I tell you how I'd like to handle it?"
Still befuddled, I just nodded.
"Alright," Mitch cleared his throat. "Donnie... I love you and you know that. I've loved you for years, but the feelings I have for you now... well... those are more recent and I will never deny those feelings to anyone or for any reason. I loved you as a friend, I loved you as a girlfriend and I love you as my wife. No back peddling, no denials, no made up stories, just the truth. Yes, you were born male, yes, we were friends, yes, I fell in love with my friend and yes, my best friend is still my best friend, but now she is my wife. THAT is how I'd like to respond to anyone who ever brings up any of these things and that is how I'd like to respond to Craig, tonight."
I sighed and glanced at the ceiling to keep from becoming emotional. "But Mitch... not everyone is going to understand. What happens if it's someone with a more narrow view of life. If we take that attitude with people like that... What do we say if they refuse to accept us that way."
"We say, 'Fuck You,' and we move on."
Honest to God, in the thirty one years I'd been alive until that point, I'd never once heard Mitch swear, let alone drop an F-bomb so forcefully. I was shocked. I stared at him for at least half a minute before I started to laugh. "Did you just say 'Fuck You!?'" I couldn't stop my giggles.
Mitch smiled. "I did and if I say something like that, then you know that I mean it."
I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Oh... I have the best husband in the world!"
"And I have the best wife," he hugged me back. "Come on. Let's go back into the living room."
When we got there, Craig was standing, hands in his pockets, and looking very concerned. "Listen, guys," he started to say, but stopped and changed tact, "I mean... Mitch and Donnie... I didn't mean to upset anyone. I was just..."
Mitch startled him into silence as he pulled him into a big bear hug. "Craig, we're glad that you know and we also know that you are only the first of many people that we'll have to explain this to over the years so... thank you for your friendship and we hope that we can count on your support down the road."
I tell you, you should have seen the look on Craig's face when Mitch released him from that hug. Dumbfounded doesn't even come close to describing it.
"Oh... ok..." Craig said. He looked to me, then back to Mitch. "So... we're cool, then?"
Mitch slapped his shoulder in a friendly manner. "Of course we are. Look, Craig, we will appreciate your discretion, of course, but we know that this is not going to be an easy secret to keep. So, as long as you accept us as is, then we're all fine."
"Great," Craig nodded and breathed a sigh of relief.
The very little time that we stayed at the house that evening was spent with Nancy and Craig as we made plans to move some of my stuff out and leave the rest. It was agreed that, as long as the bank agreed to what Mitch and Craig would write up, Nancy and Craig could move into the house in just a a week or two. Everyone was happy with the arrangements and we headed back home to get back to sleep in order to be well rested the next day.
On the way home, I asked Mitch, "What do you think will happen if Bob and Oscar find out about me?"
Mitch looked at me and shrugged. "They'll either accept us or not, I guess."
"And if not?" I was serious. "I mean, all this began to help you put with your job. What if they find out and fire you?"
Another shrug. "I'm a good lawyer, Donnie. If that happens, I'll find another job or start my own practice."
"Really?" I was serious about this. "I seem to recall you saying that you worked at the ONLY firm in the area that would let you practice the kind of law you loved. Now, you say that you'll walk away from a partnership if they question your relationship with your wife? I don't think that's likely."
Mitch looked at me with a lot of concern on his face. "You're not suggesting that I'd choose my career over you, are you? Donnie... I... I would never, not in a million years, choose anyone or anything over you. I thought you understood that." He took my hand in his and kissed the back of my fingers. "I love you. You know that."
I nodded. I did knew that, certainly, but... "I know, Mitch, but what if it comes out."
He shook his head, a bit frustrated, I think. "Let's... just... cross that bridge when we come to it, ok."
Up until now, I had been confident that no one would see through my disguise, but this situation with Craig had gotten me to thinking about how people may react to this kind of a revelation. I let out a deep breath. "I think we need to discuss how to handle this, Mitch. I don't want to be the cause of a career ending problem for you. No matter what you say, if that happens, then you'll resent me and... I don't want that, Mitch. I really don't."
Mitch was quiet for a moment as he thought. I don't think I'd ever challenged his decision in this way before. "What do you suggest? That I tell them? That I tell them all? After they were all a part of our wedding? Should I just tell them that we fooled them all? I mean what I just said about telling people to F-off, but I was thinking that we'd only take that step if they found out. I wasn't planning on making an announcement."
"No," I insisted, "I don't mean tell everyone. Just Bob and Oscar - and of course, Bev and Jodi."
We pulled into Mitch's driveway, well... our driveway... and Mitch turned in his seat to look at me. "Look, honey, I love you and I am proud of you and I will ultimately support whatever you decide you want to do, but this... this is a BIG deal. I'm really happy that things went well with Craig, but that's no guarantee that things will go well with everyone. Please, at least sleep on this. Let's talk about this tomorrow and, if you want to be open about your true sex, then... fine, I guess, but you need to consider the consequences of an announcement like that."
"Mitch, I'm not talking about an announcement. I'm talking about taking your colleagues into our confidence." Maybe I was feeling a bit too brave about things because Craig seemed to take everything in stride, but I felt like there was no way to keep this under wraps forever, and the sooner the higher-ups at Mitch's firm knew the truth, the less damage could be done.
Mitch shook his head. "When did you become so brave? Weren't you the one that had to practically be pushed out the door to go to dinner with me just a couple of weeks ago? This all seems very sudden, babe. Seriously, let's just sleep on it and discuss it, tomorrow."
I agreed and we put that conversation on hold for the time being.
The garage doors closed and we hustled inside, but seconds of entering the house, there was a knock on the door. It caught me by surprise, but Mitch just smiled as he took my coat from me. "That's mom's knock." He looked towards the door and called, "Come on in, mom! It's open."
"I'm sorry to come over so late, but I have something for my girl to wear to tomorrow's interview." Mom was carrying a dress on a hanger with a clear plastic bag over it. She removed the bag and handed it to me. "All of your clothes are so fancy. I thought that you should show up dressed appropriately to impress the principal. A teacher needs to look lovely, but be able to get down on the floor to work with the kids - especially and elementary school teacher and even more especially and Art teacher. This is more of a nice work dress and less of a fashion statement."
It was a lovely dress. A medium blue with a V-neck, loose fitting, short sleeves, a tasteful elastic waist and a simple skirt that would rest just above my knees. A soft crepe-like material. I liked it a lot.
"Oh, mom," I said as I looked the very generous gift. "That's just perfect! Thank you so much!"
"Don't be silly, dear," she kissed my cheek. "Just remember the things we discussed and they will love you." She put her hand on my cheek. "How could they not?"
That made me laugh. "Thanks, mom. I'll do my best."
"Of course you will," she smiled at me. "Call me when you've left the interview and tell me how it went. If I don't answer, it's because I'm in class, but leave a message for me. Ok?"
"Ok," I said, smiling at her enthusiasm and support.
She only stayed a moment, but the gesture was extremely thoughtful and just her presence interrupted our discussion and we let the topic drop for the evening.
The next morning, I was too nervous to eat anything for breakfast. Mitch made me a cup of coffee before he left, but I couldn't even finish that. It was weird, you know, because I kind of already had the job and the interview was just a formality. Regardless, I was much more nervous about this interview than any other interview that I'd ever had before.
Mom called between classes to wish me luck, and Dad came by to give me a 'good luck hug' before he went to his office. He also informed me that he'd set up an appointment for me to have my breasts done on April 20th, which would be right at the start of school vacation. That way, I wouldn't miss any school time. So I'd only need Hilda to fix my breasts with her 'three week treatment' one more time.
My meeting was at one o'clock that afternoon. I walked around the house all morning stressing over it. 'Don't say anything stupid,' I'd mutter to myself. 'Don't say 'when I was a 'boy' or anything like that.' I just kept beating myself up over things I hadn't done or said.
I'd been living as a woman for three weeks at this point, but it was the first time I'd driven a car in a dress or while wearing heels. Getting settled behind the wheel while wearing a dress was a bit of a challenge, but driving in heels... that was going to take a little getting used to. Rather than trying to meet that challenge on that particular day, I just slipped off my right shoe and headed downtown.
There was a parking lot at the school, but it was gated and only accessible with a pass code. I was early anyway, so I decided park in a municipal lot about two blocks away. It was a very easy stroll to the school, but I got more nervous with each step.
The private school was in a large building on the edge of the downtown area. It was a majestic structure with arched windows and ornate highlights of geometric designs inlaid about. According to the cornerstone, it had been built in 1902 and, obviously, no expense had been spared. It was an inspirational thing to look at and it made me hope that I might actually be able to work there.
I entered through huge, glass doors that led to the lobby and the front desk. The woman behind the counter made a call and within seconds, Alycia was hustling down the hallway with a friendly smile and wave. We greeted each other like old friends and she ushered me down the hallway.
"You look lovely, as usual," Alycia told me as we walked.
I thanked her and returned the compliment, and I meant that sincerely. I don't think I'd ever had a teacher who dressed as well as she did, but then again... maybe I just never noticed.
"This is my classroom," Alycia said as she opened a door and we entered a room filled with fourth grade girls, all working, or at least appearing to be working, diligently on some kind of a worksheet.
"Girls," Alycia clapped her hands, "girls. Give me your attention, please. This is Miss Dawn and she is going to be your new art teacher, starting very soon." There was a murmur of excitement from the class. "Let's all say hello to Miss Dawn, shall we?"
The girls all sat a little straighter in their seats and in a unison, sing-song way said, "Hello, Miss Dawn."
I felt a bit awkward and on the spot, but I responded, "Hello, girls. It's very nice to meet all of you." I felt very exposed as I stood in front of all of these innocent eyes. Their eyes looked at me with such intensity that it felt like they could see right through my disguise.
"Do we have any questions for Miss Dawn?" Alycia asked.
Almost every girl through her and up, which made Alycia smile. "Margaret," Alycia pointed to a girl. "Go ahead."
The little girl stood, "Miss Dawn, you're very pretty."
I laughed and said, "Why, thank you."
Alycia shook her head. "That was very sweet of you, Margaret, but it wasn't really a question, now was it?"
The little girl smiled as she sat back down.
Alycia called on another child who stood.
"Miss Dawn, are you good at art?"
I smiled at the way she phrased the question. "Well, yes, I think I am."
"Could you draw something for us, Miss?"
I sputtered for a moment. I may have mentioned before, I'm not a brilliant artist, but I am very good at graphic arts, which primarily involves computers. I looked to Alycia for support, but she just smiled and held up a handful of whiteboard markers and pointed towards the large, empty whiteboard on the wall.
I took the markers and stared at the massive blank space, trying desperately to think of something - anything - to drawer. For at least fifteen seconds, I just drew a blank, until, finally, I took a green marker and began to draw the palm trees on the beach in Hawaii.
While I drew, I spoke. "I don't know if Miss Alycia told you, or not, but we met a few weeks ago in Hawaii." I kept drawing and everything just seemed to flow from my brain to my finger tips in an unusually easy way. "This is what the beach at the resort looked like. There were palm trees and the sand was almost as white as this board. And the water was so clean and clear... you could see to the bottom, even when you were neck deep in it. And the water was as warm as bath water."
There was ohh-ing and ahh-ing at my picture and my story.
"And that's not all, girls," Alycia said. "While Miss Dawn and I were in Hawaii, Miss Dawn's boyfriend proposed to her, right on that beach."
The girls let out gasps at the romance of that statement.
"Not only that," she went on, "but on the last night we were there, Miss Dawn and her boyfriend got married - right at the resort, in front of everyone. Isn't that amazing?"
Once again, the girls swooned at the romantic story. One of the girls raised her hand.
"Yes, Jessie?" Alycia asked.
"Miss Dawn," the girl asked. "Can we see your ring?"
I laughed at the sweetness of the question, but of course, I was more than happy to show them Mitch's Nana's rings and they were delighted to see them. They gathered around me, looking and touching and asking questions about how good looking Mitch was, did I really love him, was I happy that we got married, etc, until Alycia clapped her hands and ordered the girls back to their seats.
When I turned, a big smile on my face, I was surprised to see another woman had entered the room. She was in her late forties or early fifties, dressed in a very businesslike blouse and pencil skirt, and carrying a yellow legal pad. Both she and Alycia were smiling, but this woman's smile was guarded. There was something... judgmental... in her gaze. I knew immediately that I was being evaluated.
Just then, a chime sounded. It was actually three separate notes. It occurred to me that the notes were actually quite pleasant - not at all like the harsh buzzing sounds of my school years.
"Alright, ladies," Alycia clapped her hands. "It's time for Phys. Ed. Put your books into your desks and let's go see Miss Cheryl." The girls hustled to put their books away, then lined up by the door.
Alycia waved me over to her. "Dawn, this is Alma. She is the principal here. Why don't you two get acquainted and I'll walk the girls to the gym. I'll be right back."
Alycia and the girls left and Alma guided me to a large table on the far side of the room with standard height chairs and indicated that I take a seat.
"So," she said, looking at the drawing on the whiteboard, "I don't need to ask if you have any artistic ability. That's quite a lovely drawing you did for the girls. And, from what I saw, you didn't seem to have any problem engaging their attention, did you?"
I smiled and shrugged. "I guess not, but Alycia certainly helped."
She nodded and jotted down something on her legal pad. Then she looked back at me and said, "We received your transcripts from Umass..." for a second, my blood ran cold. I knew that Mitch had contacted them, but what if the school got in touch with the university before that "... and you seem to have done well in your art classes." She was gracious enough to not point out how poorly I did in my academic classes. The facts were, though, that I did manage to pass and earn my degree. "Alycia tells me that you worked as a graphic designer of some kind?"
I nodded and gave her a truncated history of my career.
While I was delivering my narrative, Alycia returned and joined us at the large table. She smiled a friendly, supportive smile as she sat opposite me.
"Well..." Alma said with a sigh, "... everything seems in order. The job is yours if you want it."
I shook my head, surprised that this was such a brief interview. I hadn't even used the phrases that Mom had given me. "Well, I... I... Yes, of course, I'd like to take the job. Thank you."
Alma reached across the table and shook my hand. "Thank you, Dawn. We're glad to have you on the team."
"Thank you," I said, again. "Please, call me Donnie."
She smiled. "Donnie. Of course." She stood and said, "Today is Monday... when do you think you can start?"
"I can start tomorrow, if you'd like."
Alma nodded. "Tomorrow it is, then. Before you leave, today, see Linda, the head secretary, and she'll give you your employment papers, tax forms and direct deposit papers. I hope that everything goes smoothly for you, but if you have any questions, any questions at all, please feel free to come see me. My door is always open."
Once she'd left, Alycia gave me a big hug. "Congratulations! I knew she'd love you. Your drawing was wonderful and the girls seemed to love you, too. Oh, I'm so happy that this all worked out the way I'd hoped it would."
I actually had to catch my breath. "That was... less horrible than I expected." I laughed. "So, that's it? I just come in tomorrow and start teaching?"
"That's all there is to it," Alycia smiled. "Come on. I'll show you your classroom."
As I was headed out of the room, I stopped and looked at the picture I'd drawn. It was actually... ok. I mean, if I didn't know that I'd drawn it, I'd actually say it was quite good. Sure, it wasn't high art, but it was just fine. Maybe I'd been too harsh on myself? Maybe I'd allowed a bunch of unchallenged college professors to define my abilities. Honestly, just seeing my little sketch on the whiteboard made me feel like I did have something to teach these little girls.
My classroom was large, clean and well stocked. Lots of space for projects and displays. This was exciting. Suddenly, I wasn't so much nervous as I was excited to get started.
Before I left, Alycia gave me a friendly warning to start small and not be overly ambitious to start. She said that's the downfall of a lot of first time teachers. Too many movies about teachers who wander into a classroom and change everything in an hour and a half. "Just get to know them, guide them to find their strengths and you'll do great."
I filled out my paperwork in the office and thanked everyone for being so nice to me, then I headed out the door.
I called Mom as soon as I got to the sidewalk. She was between classes, so she took my call and couldn't have been happier for me. She also made arrangements with me to meet and go work-dessert-shopping with her. That all felt nice.
I called Marie, knowing that, due to working the night shift, she'd be sleeping, and left a message. I did the same with Hilda, knowing she had to be on a set all that day.
I was about to call Mitch when I looked across the street and stopped in my tracks. I'd never known where Mitch's law firm was and here I was standing right in front of it. I looked at my phone and considered the options - calling him, or going to see him in person - and quickly decided to cross the street and tell him in person.
I entered the offices and was greeted by a very attractive receptionist. "Good afternoon," she smiled, "how may I help you?"
"Hi," I smiled back. "I'm here to see Mitch."
She looked a bit confused. "Mitch? You mean Mister... oh, wait... you're not... the wife, are you?"
I smiled and laughed a bit. "Yes, I am. Is Mitch available."
She stood and came around the counter and, much to my surprise gave me a big hug. "Congratulations! It's 'Dawn,' right?"
I was completely befuddled by the burst of emotion. "Yes...Umm... Donnie, actually, but yes."
"Well, come on," She said with excitement. "Let's go meet everyone."
She guided me behind a dividing wall and made an announcement in a very loud voice. "Everyone! Listen up! This is Donnie - Mitch's wife!"
Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by nearly twenty women and a few men - all support staff, secretaries and paralegals who had not been in Hawaii. All of them were congratulating me, hugging me, shaking my hand and telling me how wonderful Mitch was and how happy they were for us to have gotten together.
The final person to greet me was someone I actually recognized from the Halloween party. "Hi, Donnie. I'm Rachel, Mitch's personal assistant. We met back..."
"...at the Halloween party, of course. I remember you, Rachel. Nice to see you, again."
The woman seemed a bit surprised, but to tell you the truth, a lot of this whole situation was caused by Rachel's gift of a framed photograph of Mitch as Freddy and me as Velma from Scooby Doo last year. At first I'd held her partially responsible for the torture I went through to become who I became, but at that point, I viewed her as a vital part of the process I'd gone through to find the real me.
"Oh, well... I am glad to see you again, as well, Mrs..."
"Just Donnie, please, Rachel," I insisted.
"Oh, well... Donnie, please follow me. I'll show you where Mitch's new office is."
I was impressed. "He has a new office?"
"Of course. He's a partner, now. He's on the third floor with the other partners." We entered an elevator and rode it to the third floor - a world of polished, old, oak floors, gorgeous, oriental carpets, deep green painted walls and clouded glass doors. Rachel knocked on the one with Mitch's name on it, cracked it open and asked, "Are you too busy to see a new client?"
I heard Mitch sound confused. "A new client? Rachel, I don't see anything on the calendar about a new client. Did you bring me any paperwork?"
"No, I didn't, Mitch, but I think you probably know everything there is to know about this client."
Now Mitch seemed very confused. "Is he downstairs? Send him up and I'll meet with him, but get your laptop and take notes. If we don't have a file running on him, let's get one started. Ok?"
"Mitch," Rachel smiled at her own playfulness, "the client is a woman and she's right here with me."
I heard him mutter, "Well, for crying out loud, Rachel, don't keep her waiting. Show her in."
"Yes, sir," Rachel smiled and stepped aside, holding the door wide for me. "He'll see you now, ma'm."
Mitch stood, buttoning his suit coat as I entered. His business smile turned into a shocked grin as he caught sight of me. "Donnie! What a surprise! What brings you all the way up here? How did the interview go? Rachel - you remember Donnie, don't you? You met at Halloween, right? This is Donnie - my wife."
The words just kept coming out of his mouth. I think the stress of his first day as partner and the surprise of seeing me all hit him at once and he suddenly got a case of spontaneous verbal diarrhea.
"Yes, we've been getting reacquainted," Rachel laughed at his inability to stop speaking, too.
"Oh, of course," he shook his head and got his bearings. "What brings you all the way up here?" He smiled and hugged me.
"I parked in the lot across the street and walked to the school. When I realized I was so close, I thought I'd come up and tell you the good news in person." I told him as he hugged me tightly.
"You got the job!?" He was very excited and I nodded. "Congratulations, baby! Rachel, Donnie got a teaching job, isn't that great?"
"Congratulations," Rachel smiled. "I'll leave you two alone," she winked at me as she closed the oak and glass door behind her.
"That's wonderful!" Mitch said as he hugged me. "When do you start?"
"Tomorrow," I said, feeling unusually proud of myself. "I've got to do a little research tonight to figure out what I'm going to do, but I'm really excited about getting started."
"That's great, honey," Mitch hugged me once again. "I'm so proud of you." Now, I know that this is a long story and I've told you a lot of things about my life, but... I can't stress this enough - I was thirty one years old the day I began to live as a woman, and until that day, I don't think I'd ever heard the words, 'I'm proud of you,' spoken to me before. Now, it was becoming the norm. I was actually doing things that I was proud of and that made others proud of me.
"Did you tell my mom," Mitch asked. "She's going to burst! Not only does she have a new daughter, but that daughter is a teacher! It's like all of her dreams just came true!"
I laughed. "I told her. She's excited. She wants me to go out with her to buy a few 'teacher dresses' this afternoon. I'm meeting her at the mall at three thirty."
"Perfect," Mitch said. "My two favorite ladies together. That's just perfect." He planted a gentle kiss on my lips. "You're going to be a great Art teacher."
"Thanks, honey," I hugged him back.
"Well, don't let me break up the party," a voice came from the doorway. It was Oscar, standing there with a big smile on his face. I jumped away from Mitch, a bit embarrassed, but Oscar just continued on. "From what Rachel said, I understand that congratulations are in order, Donnie. I'm sure that you'll do a great job. Teaching is a very noble profession. I'm sure you'll find it very fulfilling."
Oscar spread his arms and offered me a hug, which I accepted. It was a sweet, paternal hug and he gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek, too.
I let go of Oscar and smiled. "I should probably get going. I'm sure that you all have a lot to do around here and I don't want to be in the way."
"You're never in the way, my dear," Oscar said quite sweetly.
"Well, thank you, but I should get going anyway. I'm meeting Mitch's mother in a little while." I kissed Mitch goodbye and he and Oscar walked me into the reception area.
Just as I reached the elevator, Bob's office door opened, too. "Well, hi! What brings you to our humble offices today?"
Mitch explained my achievement and Bob offered his congratulations as well.
Just as the elevator door opened, I said, "Hey! You know, Mitch and I would love to have both of you and Jodi and Bev join us for dinner this weekend. Do you think that Saturday night might work?"
Bob and Oscar looked at each other. Bob nodded and said, "Actually, we had already planned to go out to dinner together on Saturday, so... we'd be happy to go to your place. Thank you."
"Wonderful!" I said as I stepped onto the elevator. "We'll see you then."
Mitch nodded and got into the elevator with me. "I'll be right back up. I'm just going to walk her out."
When the doors closed, Mitch sighed. "So... Saturday, huh? Are you still determined to come clean about everything?"
I nodded. "That's what I'd like to do, but... I won't do it unless you agree to do it, too."
He took my hand and squeezed it. "We'll figure it out, hon. We'll tell them together."
I stood in silence for a moment before I asked, "And if they don't take it well?"
Mitch looked at me and smiled. "Then we say 'Fuck You' and we move on."
To Be Continued...
Hawaiian Retreat - 9
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Author's Note: At the time of this writing, I’m feeling good. I slept for a couple of days this weekend and that seemed to help. The day after tomorrow I have to go and get retested. Hopefully I am set free at that point. This isolation is difficult and I can’t wait to be able to be in the same room as my family again. Thank you, everyone, for your well wishes in the reviews of the last installment. That really meant a lot to me. ~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 9 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 9
When the doors closed, Mitch sighed. "So... Saturday, huh? Are you still determined to come clean about everything?"
I nodded. "That's what I'd like to do, but... I won't do it unless you agree to do it, too."
He took my hand and squeezed it. "We'll figure it out, hon. We'll tell them together."
I stood in silence for a moment before I asked, "And if they don't take it well?"
Mitch looked at me and smiled. "Then we say 'Fuck You' and we move on."
When the elevator doors opened, Mitch was going to introduce me to everyone, but, of course, I'd already met them all. So, he walked me to the door and gave me a kiss before I left. Then he whispered, "Whatever we decide to do, remember that I love you."
I kissed him back. "I love you, too. Let's talk about it before the weekend."
He winked at me. "Sounds good."
I had to hurry to make it to the mall in time to meet Mom. She was already in JC Penny when I got there and she had already picked out ten dresses for me to try on.
"Come on," she smiled as she hustled me towards the changing rooms, "I can't wait to see you in these."
Mom waited right outside my changing room and critiqued the fit of every dress. "We need to make sure that you can move comfortably in these, Donnie. These aren't high fashion, these are meant to be beautiful yet functional. You want to make a statement, keep the children's attention and not hinder your movement at all. Primary colors are always a good choice when dealing with the little ones, but they like literal depictions, too - flowers and the like. Simple patterns are good, too, but I'd recommend staying away from blotchy patterns with no real forms. That can confuse the little ones."
It was as if she'd developed an entire science around what she wore to work everyday.
I looked at Mom and smiled. "I notice that you wear slacks sometimes. Since I'll be standing and then sitting a lot, should I consider slacks, too?"
Mom looked at me and smirked. "I have a lady's rear end, Donnie. You don't. I think it would be best NOT over emphasize a feature that you don't really have."
"Fair enough," I laughed and returned to the changing room.
We ended up getting five dresses, three skirts with six tops and two cardigan style sweaters, with Mom making it clear that we would need to be returning to the mall over the weekend to find some more. "A woman needs a good selection of clothing, Donnie," she chided as we went to put the bags into the trunk of my car. "Mitch and his father will never understand that. Men can wear the same suit or two everyday and and no one will notice. Throw on a clean shirt and out the door they go. Women need variety."
I smiled and nodded in agreement. "Ok. If you say so."
"Oh, I do. Come on, let's go back in," she said, completely surprising me.
"Back in?" I checked my watch. It was already after five. "Mitch will be home, soon."
"So what?" She shrugged. "He's a grown man. He can take care of himself. You need some perfume and hair products."
I blinked in confusion. "But... I have perfume and hair products."
"Yes you do, and they're all very floral and seductive." Mom slid her arm into mine and guided me back towards the entrance. "Those aren't appropriate for wearing around children. Smells are a big part of a child's perception. Let's fine some simple scents - vanilla, or lavender. Something subtle."
As we entered the mall again, I said, "But I am wearing lavender right now."
"And it's too strong to wear with children. You'll see. Come with me."
We went to a store that specialized in scents and left with a tiny bottle (that cost a whopping sixty five dollars) of a perfume called 'Vanille Gourmande Eau Gormande.' It was a subtle scent that smelled a bit of vanilla, a bit of orchards and a few less distinguishable aromas. It was pretty and Mom assured me that a little dab on my neck and wrists in the morning and the girls wouldn't notice anything other than 'Miss Dawn smells nice.'
Before we could leave, Mom insisted on buying us both a small ice cream from the Cold Stone Creamery. I had plain old chocolate, while Mom had a pistachio with several kinds of nuts mixed in to it. We sat far away from everyone else in the food court and slowly ate our delicious treat.
"So," Mom said, rather suddenly, putting her ice cream aside for the time being and looking around to be sure that no one else was within ear shot, "explain to me how you accomplished all of this so quickly, Donnie."
I put down my vanilla and looked at her, confused. "Accomplished what? The job? I just kind of wandered into that."
She smiled. "Donnie. I have known you your whole life. I watched you grow from a little boy into a man and then, suddenly, you are a woman. And not just ANY woman, but a beautiful, self confident woman with a husband and a new career. I mean, when I saw the pictures of you that Mitch sent us, I was amazed, but... Donnie... you ARE a woman. You speak like a woman, walk like a woman, smell like a woman, gesture like a woman... There is nothing about you to indicate that you haven't been a woman your entire life. Who did you accomplish that?"
It was obvious by the tone of her voice that she was only asking out of curiosity, not to cause any problems. She was right, though, she has known me my entire life. If I couldn't talk frankly to her, who could I talk to?
I thought for a moment, then said, "I don't know how to answer that, Mom. I was fine before. I mean... not fine... my life was falling apart, but I never considered that I'd be happier as a woman. At first it was... odd... awkward... different, but then, the first time that Mitch and I went out together alone - it was actually the night I met his bosses and their wives - it all just... kind of... changed. Suddenly, I just... felt... right. Maybe for the first time in my life."
She nodded and smiled. "Donnie... I don't want to upset you by saying this... you were a fine young man, but... you are an amazing woman."
I smiled. "Why would that upset me?"
She raised her eyebrows and shook her head. "I don't know... it's a little awkward to talk about these things, but... if I don't ask, then I will be wondering forever."
"Ask anything you'd like, Mom," I half giggled.
"Ok..." I could see there was more. "... what about Mitch?"
I was surprised by that. "What about him?"
"Well," she took a deep breath, "I... I've known that Mitch was in love with you since you were teenagers. To tell you the truth, when I tried to force him to go to your freshman year semi-formal, Mitch's dad pulled me aside and pointed out that Mitch wasn't interested in girls. At first, I was shocked, but after about ten seconds of turmoil, I realized that I was fine with that, as long as Mitch was happy. My only concern was... you."
"Me?"
She nodded at me. "Once my eyes were opened, I realized that Mitch was in love with you. I just never expected that you would fall in love with him."
I stirred my ice cream a bit and considered what she'd just said. "Mom... I've always loved Mitch as a friend, you know that, but... over the past three weeks... at first I thought it was just the clothes playing tricks on my mind, but then... I honestly, completely fell in love with him. I mean that. I mean... I knew I felt very strong feelings for Nancy when we were together, but... it was nothing like what I feel for Mitch. When I fell for Mitch... I fell completely. You don't need to worry. I love him."
"I wasn't worried," Mom smiled. "I was just... interested." She leaned across the table and squeezed my hand. "I'm very happy that we've reached this point, Donnie, and I want to help in any way that I can."
I couldn't help but smile. How did I get this lucky?
When I got home, Mitch was busy in the kitchen making hamburgers for our dinner. "Well," he chuckled as he saw me entering with several over loaded bags, "looks like you and Mom found everything you need."
I smiled. "Until the weekend. She says I need more."
He laughed. "I made burgers. I have kaiser rolls for them, too."
I shook my head. "I'll just have the burger, thanks. No bun."
"No bun?" Mitch as appalled.
I laughed. "Mitch, I am five foot six and I weigh a hundred and twenty eight pounds. I need to maintain that weight and I'm not going to do it by eating big, bread-y rolls at dinner time. Thank you for making dinner, but just the burger for me, thanks."
He laughed. "Women."
I spent that night researching lesson plans online and decided on how to start with each grade. Nothing too fancy, just some coloring or sketching projects for the little ones and some modeling clay projects for the older ones. I called Mom with some questions about the lesson plans I needed to fill out and she was very helpful - in fact, she came over and checked my work. Honestly, I think that the novelty of having a daughter-in-law was very exciting for her.
We were in bed early and I was too nervous for anything other than some cuddling while we watched an old movie in bed.
The next morning, Mitch and I walked out to our cars together - he to his nice lease and me to my old clunker - and we were met by my in-laws who were waiting to wish me luck.
"Are you planning on driving your car into the parking lot at a private school?" Mom asked.
I shrugged. "Yeah. What choice do I have?"
"No, no, no, no, no," Mom muttered. "Mitchell, you drop her off this morning and I'll pick her up after school. I don't want your first impression to be this car. I'm sorry, Donnie, but that is an issue."
Mitch looked at my car and chuckled. "She might have a point, hon. This car has seen better days. How old is it?"
I glanced at the car and said, "Fourteen years old. I bought it used, the summer after freshman year."
"How many miles are on it?" Dad asked.
"Two hundred and eighty something," I replied, rather proud that I'd gotten so many miles out of the old girl.
"Donnie," Mom touched my shoulder, "a woman can't be riding around in an unreliable vehicle. If you break down in the wrong place, well... heaven knows what could happen to you!"
I looked at Mitch, assuming he would say something like, 'Don't worry. Donnie can take care of himself,' or 'Don't be such a worry-wort. Donnie doesn't have to worry about things like that,' but instead, he said, "She's right, Donnie. We need to upgrade your car. Take a look on-line, figure out what you'd like and let's get you a new car this weekend."
"Mitch!" I was shocked. "A car is a big investment. We need to talk about this..."
He nodded. "Ok, but a car is a necessity, too, and I want you to be safe, so... take a look and see what you'd like. We can set up a lease. It won't cost that much. I want you to be safe, Donnie, ok?"
I couldn't argue. Heck, I doubt my jalopy could survive a small fender bender at this point. I definitely needed a car, but... did I have the credit to buy one? I had been out of work for months and I was behind on my house payments, so there was reason for concern.
"Alright, then it's settled," Mom brushed a few strays hair back behind my ears. "I'll see you at three fifteen in front of your school. I'll text when I get there. You come out when you're ready."
I shrugged. "Ok, but I hate to put you out."
"Oh, pooh," Mom waved away my concerns. "We're family, now, Donnie. I am always here to help you."
You know how, sometimes, you wonder why you would have ever put yourself into some situation or another? I was both excited and petrified about that first day of school, and, you know what? It went great! The girls were all accepting of me and excited to try any project I put before them. Some of the older girls were actually extremely talented. Some of them had studied books on drawing, some had even taken classes at the local art museum. All in all, the first week was a huge success! Alma, the principal, even observed a couple of my classes and said that I was doing a great job.
Did you hear that? I was doing a great job AND I kind of loved doing the job. I really enjoyed being with the kids and seeing their eyes light up when they did well. It was amazing and I was thrilled.
After school on Thursday, Mom drove me to a medical building on the other side of the city for my first meeting with my therapist. I was very nervous about the meeting, but Mom was very supportive. She even walked me in and waited in the waiting room while I went in to my appointment.
"Just relax and be honest," she whispered to me when the receptionist told me I could go in.
Dr Manson was a very handsome woman, and I mean that in the most complimentary way. Tall, five foot ten, at least, fit, but not exactly slender and impeccably dressed in a skirt suit that hugged every one of her curves.
"So," she said with an endearing smile, "you're Donnie, are you? Tell me about yourself."
I started slowly, talking about my childhood, how I was just a normal boy and all of that. It was all pretty general until I got to the night that Mitch asked me to go to Hawaii as his date. Then, I seemed to be unable to stop talking about all the changes that I'd gone through since that night.
When I finished, Dr Manson just sat quietly and looked at me. Finally, she said, "Three weeks. You've only been in your female persona for three weeks and you're already committed to a marriage? That... has to be some kind of a record." She snickered a bit at her own words.
"Are you making fun of me?" I asked, a bit hurt.
"Not at all," she smiled. "In fact, I'm very impressed. I'm not sure what you set out to do, but you have achieved quite a bit in less than a month."
I eyed her suspiciously. "I didn't 'set out' to do anything, though. I just followed my heart."
She leaned back a bit and considered what I'd said. "Followed your heart? That's an excellent answer, Donnie. Is it, in fact, true, though? I mean, you told me that, at the time that Mitch asked you to be his... plus one, shall we say... your life was pretty much in tatters. Now - the wife of a successful lawyer, a new career as a teacher... things are pretty good, all of a sudden. Did you follow your heart or did you find a path to prosperity?"
"I followed my heart," I said, angrily. I stood and picked up my purse, preparing to leave, but I stopped and I stared at the doctor for a moment before saying, "You know, the past three weeks have been the hardest and ultimately the most joyous of my life. I didn't come here to be looked down upon by you. So, I guess I would say that this session is over."
The doctor stood, then, and pointed to the chair I'd previously occupied. "Donnie... please... have a seat. I needed to push you a bit to see if you were being sincere. I apologize if I upset you, but, honestly, I want to help you. Please... give me a few more minutes."
Reluctantly, I returned to the chair and sat.
"Tell me about your body," the doctor said, surprising me.
"My body? What about my body?"
"Well, I notice that you have breasts. That's a bit unusual, since you haven't had surgery. Tell me about your breasts."
I looked down at them, strangely proud of them. "They are filled with saline at the moment. I'm having surgery in a couple of weeks to have them done properly."
She nodded. "And how do your breasts make you feel?"
I blinked at her. What an odd question. How did my breasts make me feel? Why, they made me feel... "Whole."
She looked me in the eye. "Whole? Explain that for me, please."
For the next forty five minutes, all I talked about was how important my breasts had become to me. Honestly, I had no idea how desperately I needed them until that conversation. When Dr Manson finally said, "Well, that's an hour, Donnie. I think we've made some very good progress, today. How do feel about our discussion?" I had no idea I'd been talking so much or for so long.
I thought for a moment and smiled. "I feel great. I didn't realize I had so much to say. Thank you."
Dr Manson stood and offered me her hand. "I hope that you understand why I started the way I did."
I took her hand. "Not really, but I accept that it worked."
She smiled and walked me to the door. "I'll see you next Thursday, then. If you need anything, please feel free to call this number, anytime of the day or not." She handed me a business card.
I looked at the card, then up at her. "Why...would I need to call you?"
She gave me a sad smile. "Donnie... you don't seem to realize it, but what you're going through may... may put a stain on you... emotionally. Hopefully, your charmed life continues, but... if not... then call me."
I nodded, feeling a bit deflated after such a great talk. "Ok."
She winked at me. "Hope for the best and prepare for the worst, right?"
I nodded and forced a smile. "Right."
Mom was very interested in what had happened in the office. She didn't push for details, but she was concerned that I looked worried when I came out. As we walked back to the car, she said, "Are you ok, Donnie? You look pretty shaken up."
I nodded and did my best to smile. "I'm fine. She just... she... touched on things that I hadn't really... fully realized, I guess. It was... eye opening."
We got into Mom's car and she pushed the start button, then sat and we both looked out the windshield for a few moments before Mom asked, with considerable fear in her voice, "Are you having second thoughts about... your... decisions? You're new life?"
I let out a nervous laugh. "No. No, Mom, not in the least. If anything, I'm even more happy than ever that I've made the choices I've made. I'm just... I don't know... I guess I'm just considering what changes I want... or need, maybe... to make to my body... mine."
Mom took my hand and gave it a squeeze. "Whatever you decide, honey, you know that we're all here for you. Mitch, Dad, me... Marie, Hilda... we all just want what's best for you. If you need help... or just want to talk to someone, just reach out. We'll help."
I couldn't help the tear from falling even as I smiled. "I know, Mom. Thank you. I will reach out if I need help. I promise. Thank you."
When we got home, Mom joined me in my kitchen and gave me pointers on how to make her version of chicken Parmesan. Dad arrived home around five thirty and came over to join us, bringing with him a bottle of chianti. He was very happy to be home and he hugged and kissed Mom like they were newlyweds. He poured a glass of wine for himself and mom, offering one to me, as well, but, of course, I declined.
Mitch arrived a little after six, just as the food was being put on the table.
"Hey, there's a party at my house and I wasn't invited," he teased as he took off his suit coat and loosened his tie.
"They didn't invite me, either," Dad joined the joke. "They only let me crash because I brought the wine." He gave Mitch a warm, welcoming hug. "Welcome home, son. By the way, we're having dinner with you."
Mitch gave his father's back a hearty slap as he laughed. "Always glad to have you." He came over to me and hugged me a bit harder than I expected. "Hi."
"Hi," I replied, but there was something about his demeanor that concerned me, just a bit. "Everything ok?"
"Every's fine, hon. I was just concerned about you. How did your first session go?"
I smiled and accepted the explanation. "It went... well. Really well, I think."
He smiled. "Good. That's all I was concerned about."
We had a lovely meal with lots of chat and laughter. It seemed to come very easily to Mitch's family, where it never really had to mine. I enjoyed the feeling of inclusion, of love, of family.
Mom and I took care of the clean up while Mitch and Dad talked spots and politics in living room.
When we were done, Mom gave me a hug and touched her hand to my cheek. "I enjoyed cooking with you, Donnie."
"Me too, Mom."
She smiled. "Let's do it a lot more."
I laughed. "Ok."
When Mitch and I were finally alone, I asked, "Are you sure that there's nothing else on your mind?"
He shrugged. "Just work, I guess. Nothing worth discussing."
I nodded. "Can we discuss Saturday night, then?"
Mitch chuckled. "Funny you should mention that because Jodi came into my office today, thrilled to be coming to dinner on Saturday. She said she misses you and she can't wait to see you again."
I smiled. "Mitch... I think I need to tell them, but... if you don't want to do it just now... I can wait."
He took my hand and we walked all the way upstairs before he responded. "Donnie. If I ask you to wait, there would only be one reason to do that - because I was embarrassed of us and... I am not. I love you and I will never deny that. If you want... or need... to tell them, then let's do it on Saturday night. I'm here for you, I'm here with you, and I will happily tell them that the woman I love wasn't always a woman, but I still love her with all my heart."
I smiled and hugged him. "Thank you."
I still felt like there was something that he wasn't telling me, though. I could feel that there was something nagging at him, but he obviously didn't want to discuss it with me.
On Friday morning, Mitch asked if I'd looked at any vehicles to replace my car. I explained that I was concerned about spending too much, but Mitch insisted, so I agreed to go with him that evening to look at a Kia hybrid that I thought I could afford -IF- my credit held up to the scrutiny of the dealership.
Mitch looked at the vehicle on his iPad and shrugged. "Ok, if you're sure this is what you want."
"It's a nice car, Mitch. It has a great rating and I can afford it."
Mitch nodded. "Yes, but... you can afford whatever you want, honey."
I shook my head. "No, Mitch, YOU can afford whatever you want. Right now, I can afford the Kia and it's important to me that I pay for this myself."
He shrugged. "Alright. If this is the car you've chosen, then let's go get one this evening."
My day at school was typically joyful. In just four days, I'd grown to love working with the girls and guiding their exploration into visual arts. I saw the younger girls twice a week and the older girls three times. So, by the end of that day, I'd seen each of my classes twice that week. They were all so delightfully charming in their own ways. Even the moody ones could be cajoled into smiling when their creativity was complimented. And some of the moodier girls did the most amazing work.
I was surprised when, at three fifteen, I stepped out of the school to find Mitch waiting for me and talking to Alycia. She smiled as I approached. "Here she is, now." Alycia greeted me. "I was just telling Mitch how well your first week has gone. Honestly, Donnie, I've never seen the girls attach themselves to someone as quickly as they've attached themselves to you. They all seem to adore you."
I laughed as I pushed my hair back, out of my face. "Is that so? What did you do, take a poll?"
Alycia smirked and bounced her head from side to side. "In a way... Alma and I both stopped into the other classes and asked the girls how Art Class was going. We got nothing but rave reviews."
Mitch put his arm around me and smiled. "I would expect nothing less."
I laughed, again. "Well, Alycia, I cannot thank you enough for this opportunity. I never really considered teaching before, but I have to admit, I've never done anything I've enjoyed this much."
Just then, a mother and daughter were exiting the school and the little girl shouted, "Bye, Miss Alycia! Bye, Miss Dawn!"
We both turned to see the fourth grader. "Bye, Annie!" We both called back.
The girl said something to her mother, who released the child's hand, and the child ran over to us to hug us and receive a hug in return. Alycia stood and gave the child a gentle hug in return. I squatted down and gave her a big hug, then she scurried back to her mother.
Alycia wished us a good weekend and left us. Mitch opened the passenger door of his car and I slipped in. He closed the door for me, then got in on the driver's side. "So," he chuckled as he started the car, "you have quite the maternal side to you, don't you?"
I smiled. "I think it's all the female hormones in the air in the school. It's hard not to mother them when they look to you to take care of them."
Mitch smiled, then looked as if he had more to say, but nothing came out, until finally he said, "Are you sure about this car? I read the Consumers Report on it and it scores really high, but if you'd like something nicer - a Volvo or a Mercedes - something like that - we can afford it."
I shook my head. "No, Mitch, you've been spending too much on me. I want to pay for this on my own. I can afford the Kia. That's what I want."
"Ok," he said, just as we were turning into the dealership lot.
"There is one thing, though," I said, not wanting to sound like too much of a failure.
"What's that?"
I sighed. "Well... you know, I was behind of my mortgage, and... well... a few other things, so... well... I don't know if my credit..."
Mitch held up his hand. "No sweat, honey. I'll co-sign, ok?"
I blinked at him. That had actually never occurred to me. I was just afraid of being embarrassed if my credit wasn't good enough. "Oh..." I muttered. "Really?"
"Of course," he laughed. "What did you think was going to happen? That I'd let you be embarrassed by a salesman?"
I shrugged. "No... I guess not. I just..."
He winked at me. "Come on. Let's go buy a car."
I'd only been in a car dealership once before, that was when Nancy had bought her car. I was uncomfortable then, and I was uncomfortable that day with Mitch. The salesman was nice enough, a very good looking man with a thick Puerto Rican accent, who sat with us and discussed the model I wanted. When I didn't ask a lot of questions, Mitch took the lead.
"She'd like it in red, do you have a red one on the lot?" He asked.
"Sure do," the salesman replied.
"Does it have all the safety features? Lane departure warning? Intelligent cruise control? Everything?"
I had no idea what he was talking about. I knew what cruise control was, but 'intelligent' didn't make much sense to me.
"I do have a red one with the safety package, yes," he said as he typed into a computer.
"Heated seats and steering wheel?"
I'd never heard of a heated steering wheel before.
The salesman grimaced. "Seats, yes. Steering wheel, no, but we can install one for you?"
"Today?" Mitch asked.
He grimaced again. "Oh, no, not today, sir. It's too late in the day..."
Mitch looked at his watch. "It's not even four o'clock. I had one installed in my car and it only took fifteen minutes."
The salesman nodded. "I understand, sir, but I could have it for you on Monday at the earliest."
Suddenly, Mitch stood. "Come on, Honey. They have what you want in Framingham. Let's go pick it up there."
"No, no!" The salesman said, nervous about loosing the sale. "Let me talk to the service department. I'll be right back."
Long story short, just after five o'clock, I drove out of the dealership in the first new car I'd ever owned. A bright red, Kia hybrid with every option available, and a lease that I could afford on my salary. Another new experience and another thing that I could not have done on my own.
Once again, I felt that weird sensation of being proud of myself.
Mom and I headed out early on Saturday morning, stopping for a nice breakfast at a local bakery. We were enjoying the ambience and the smell of the newly baked bread and pastries when we heard a familiar voice from the doorway. "Well, look at this! My little sister comes home from Hawaii and I don't see her for a week. Now, I find her cheating on me with another woman." Marie bent and kissed my cheek. "Hi, sweetie. How are you?" Then she kissed Mom's cheek, too. "Hi, Mom. Good to see you."
I was laughing at my sister's entrance, as Mom invited her to join us.
"I would love to," Marie said as she pulled out a chair and sat.
"You're up early," I said.
"I got moved to a day shift, yesterday. I was going to come by your place and tell you later. I have a new schedule, now. Tuesday through Friday, seven to five. I'm finally going to be living a normal life. Yay me!"
"Congratulations," Mom said.
I shook my head. "I doubt that you'll ever live a 'normal' life, Rie."
"Says the pot who is calling the kettle black," Marie grinned back at me. "Let's face it, Donnie, we are just a couple of weirdos who are lucky enough to have found someone who appreciates us."
I held up my cup of orange juice. "Truer words have never been spoken."
Mom laughed at us. "I love how well you two get along. I do so wish that you could reconcile with your other sisters."
"Not in this lifetime," Marie laughed.
Mom shook her head. "Maybe someday."
Rie was about to answer with another flippant remark, but I interrupted. "Maybe, Mom. Who knows."
So, of course, my twin sister decided to join us on our shopping trip, which was fine because, well, not only do I love spending time with my sister, but I got to show off my new car, too. She was appropriately impressed.
Shopping with Mom was fun. Shopping with Marie was fun. Shopping with both of them was hilarious. I must have tried on fifty dresses or more in six or seven different stores and Mom thought that each one looked beautiful while Rie had some snarky remark for each one.
I came out of the dressing room in a pretty, green gingham dress with cap sleeves and Mom clasped a hand to her heart. "Oh, Donnie, you look absolutely gorgeous in that!"
Marie immediately followed that up with, "It would be perfect if you were the teacher on 'Anne of Green Gables.'"
I came out in a nice, flowered dress, perfect for spring and Mom said, "Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, you are just a picture of the perfect teacher for little girls."
Marie chimed in with, "Norman Rockwell called and he wants the dress back."
That's how the whole morning went, but we all had a great time.
When we were done shopping, I drove Rie back to the bakery to get her car and she insisted on coming to Mitch's place to help Mom and me get things ready for our guests that evening. I did tell them why I was hosting the dinner and neither of them could wholeheartedly endorse my plan.
Mitch had gone into the office to deal with some aspects of a case that he said was giving him some problems and he came home at four forty five, almost two hours later than he'd promised, but I had plenty of help and, like I'd mentioned, something had been bothering him and I had to assume it had to do with this case.
"Mitch," Marie said, with a very judgmental tone, "how can you allow her to do this? After everything we've done to make sure that no one suspected anything, now you're just going to let her throw it all away? Are you nuts?"
Mitch laughed. "'Let her?' 'Allow her?' Do you really think that I 'allow' anything, Rie? Donnie is my wife, not my employee. We discussed this. It's important to her and if it's important to her, then it's important to me and I will support her."
Marie shook her head, a bit disgusted with both of us.
"It is a big risk," Mom said. "I love you, Donnie and, Mitch you know I love you, but... this is a big chance to take. Be sure that you tell them diplomatically."
"We will, Mom," Mitch smiled and kissed his mother's forehead. "Don't worry."
"Oh, don't worry!" Marie scoffed. "Monday morning, you'll be signing up for unemployment, but 'don't worry.' You two take the cake, you know that? The amount of effort I went through to make my scruffy, little brother into your bride, and now it's all going to be thrown away. I cannot believe that neither of you has the sense that God gave you, I really can't."
"Your objection has been noted and entered into the record," Mitch said. "Now, please, Mom... Rie... this is something that Donnie and I have discussed and we reached this decision together. I really don't want to discuss it anymore. Ok?"
Both women nodded.
Marie said quite angrily, "Ok, but the moment that they're gone, I expect a text - and I mean that. The moment they leave! Jesus, I hope that you guys know what you're doing."
At six, I went to get ready, Mitch just retired his tie and put his suit coat back on. I wore a three quarter sleeved, knit, black dress with a tight top and a loose skirt. It was pretty and plain and had a scooped neck that showed just a little cleavage. I looked in the mirror and saw how good I looked and I considered what I planned to do that evening. Was I really ready to do this? Was it the right thing to do? Was I really strong enough to do it?
All of those thoughts disappeared when I heard the doorbell ring.
"They're here, hon!" Mitch called up.
"Be right there!" I called back and then I heard the hubbub of four new voices complementing Mitch on a lovely house and thanking him for the invitation to dinner. I took a deep breath and spoke to my reflection. "You can do this, Donnie. You can do this."
"Donnie!" Jodi shouted as I came down the stairs. "Oh, darling, you look beautiful!"
"As usual," Bev, joined in. They both met me at the foot of the stairs and hugged me and kissed my cheeks. "Oh, I've missed spending time with you, dear. We must make plans to meet more regularly."
"That will be nice," I smiled, but the butterflies were taking over my stomach.
I played hostess for the first time and I enjoyed it. I brought people drinks and checked on dinner, a pork roast that was much more Mom's doing than mine, and I chatted as much as my responsibilities allowed.
"Oh, look at you with that old fashioned apron," Jodi gushed, starting to feel the buzz brought on by the quick demise of one and a half whiskey sours.
"My mother-in-law gave me this," I smiled. "It is a bit old fashioned, I guess, but I like it."
"Oh, it's adorable, sweetie," Bev smiled. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
"I hear you were in the office, today, Mitch," Oscar said. "Were you able to find a placement for that..."
Mitch glanced at me and cleared his throat, loudly, "Ah, no, no, Oscar. Not yet, but I'm working on it."
I noticed that Oscar glanced at me, then seemed to understand and just nodded, letting the subject drop.
It made me feel uncomfortable to think that I wasn't being told something. Was Mitch in danger for some reason? Was he involved in something I wouldn't approve of? What was going on.
I returned to the kitchen and prepared a few plates for their food, but after a moment, I called back into the living room. "Mitch! Can you help me for a moment? I can't reach something on a top shelf."
"Sure," Mitch replied, then he came into the kitchen ready to help, but he found me with my arms folded. "What?" He asked.
"What was that all about?" I asked.
He looked around for a second, feigning innocence. "What was what about?"
"Mitch," I said, sounding a bit more frustrated than I'd intended, "obviously, Oscar thinks I know about something and you haven't told me about it. Now, what's going on?"
He took a deep breath. "One thing at a time, please, Donnie. Let's get through dinner and, if things go well and I still have a position at the firm, then we'll discuss it. If things don't go well, then... well, then, it won't matter."
My heart sank. Was I really jeopardizing something even more than Mitch's career. "Mitch, please tell me!"
He looked at me with a great sadness in his eye. "I... I can't, babe. Not right now. Later... I promise." He kissed me and hugged me, but I didn't return the hug. "I promise."
Then he left me there feeling... a little angry, a little betrayed and very confused,
At seven thirty I put the food on the table and called everyone into the formal dining room.
"Well, this is an important occasion," Mitch said. "I've owned this house for four and a half years and this is the first time that I've ever actually used this room as anything other than someplace to spread out papers."
Everyone laughed and Bob held up his glass of bourbon and said, "A toast to many more dinners in your beautiful dining room!"
"Here, here!" Everyone said and raised their glasses, too.
Mitch sat at one end of the table and I sat at the other. Bob and Oscar sat to my left and Bev and Jodi to my right, opposite their spouses.
They all devoured the pork roast, taking time between bites to compliment me on my culinary skills. I did make it clear that Mitch's mom had helped me a great deal. They ignored that though, and continued to shower me with compliments.
For dessert, I'd bought a beautiful cherry pie that I presented on a lovely pie stand that Mitch didn't even know he owned, and they all enjoyed that with some fresh brewed coffee.
By that time, the conversation had slowed a bit and everyone was nursing a very full belly.
I looked at Mitch, who raised his eyebrows in a 'It's your moment' manner, so I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, "Umm... I did want to talk to you all about something, tonight."
Bev waved me off, "If it's about the fundraiser, then let's not discuss that tonight, Donnie. We have a meeting coming up in a week or so. It can wait until then."
I shook my head, "No, it's not about the fundraiser. It's... it's something very personal that I need to share with you. With all of you and... well... I hope that... after I've shared this with you... that we can all still be friends."
Oscar cleared his throat and sat a bit straighter. "Donnie, if this is personal, then there is no reason for you to have to share it with us. We... all of us... are very fond of you and Mitch and, well, we all have done things in our past that we may want to keep private. You don't need to share anything with us that you'd rather keep to yourself."
"Well, that's the thing, you see, Oscar. I don't want to keep it to myself." I could feel the tears in my eyes, but I fought them back as I soldiered on. "You are our closest friends and I want you to know this. It's very important to me... to us... that you do."
Mitch stood up and came around the table to my side. He grabbed an extra chair and pulled it up beside mine, and he put his left arm around my shoulders and took my right hand in his right hand. "Look," he started, "I told you that Donnie and I have been friends our whole lives, but there's things about that friendship that we haven't told you."
"And perhaps those are things that we do not need to know," Bob said, uncharacteristically forcefully. "Perhaps, Mitch, there are somethings about the going-ons in peoples' private lives that do not need to be shared in public."
Mitch nodded. "But this is important to Donnie." He looked at me and smiled supportively. "Shall I just say it?"
I shook my head. "I will."
Jodi shook her head and said, "This just isn't right, Donnie, whatever it is that you're trying to say is obviously, too difficult to talk about right now, so, let's put a tack in it and come back to it sometime in the future, ok?"
"Yes, I agree," Bev nodded.
"No." I was emphatic. "Look... I truly love being friends with all of you and I really, really don't want to hurt Mitch's career, but... this needs to be said. I... I have not always been... like this."
They sat quietly and looked from one another back to me.
"I..." I couldn't find the right words.
Mitch pulled my head to his shoulder and held me protectively. "Donnie and I have been friends since we were both children. We grew up together, we played together, we did everything together. We... were boys... together."
There was silence in the room, but no one seemed as shocked as I expected.
Mitch seemed surprised, too, so he explained. "Biologically, Donnie is male."
Still nothing.
"I am," I said. "I was born a male. Mitch and I only fell in love after I became a woman."
"Well, not quite true," Mitch said. "I always had feelings for her, but... well, the point is that we thought you should know."
There was still silence. Finally, Bob said, very quietly, "I already knew, Mitchell, and I'd hoped that there would never be a reason to discuss this. It's your private business. None of us ever needed to know."
"You knew?" Jodi said to her husband, but she didn't sound, surprised.
"I did, too," said Bev.
"Me, too," admitted Oscar.
Jodi looked at them all. "Well, I did, too, but I never would have said anything."
Mitch and I looked at each other in shock. "You knew?" Mitch asked.
They all nodded.
"How?"
"Mitch," Bob smiled, "you were becoming a partner in a very powerful law firm. I had to do a background check on you and when you said you were serious about Donnie, well... you get it right?"
"And you told Oscar?" Mitch asked.
"No. As a matter of fact, I took those pages out of the report before I gave it to Oscar." Bob explained.
"He did," Oscar nodded. "I noticed that the report went from page seven to page eleven and that there was some background information missing. I figured it was just a clerical thing, so I called down to the agency that did the research and asked for a complete copy. I assumed that Bob had never read the missing pages."
"So you never told each other?" Mitch asked, amazed.
"Why would we?" Bob asked. "It didn't matter. You're a good lawyer, you guys love each other. That's all that matters."
"I figured it out on the plane," Jodi said.
"How?" I asked.
"Oh, come on, Donnie, I've known girls with little hips, but yours are not female." She laughed.
"Same here," Bev said. "When I helped you try on your gown, I knew that you hadn't even been on hormones very long. No offense, dear, but you have a little boy's ass. There's nothing there at all."
"And none of you told each other anything?" I asked. "I can't believe that."
Jodi looked at me with big, sad, slightly drunken, eyes and said, "Donnie... you're my friend. Friends protect each other. I was protecting you."
"Exactly," Bev said. "I will tell you, though, until your hips fill in a bit, I'd avoid getting naked in front of other women."
I let out a relieved laugh, "Well, neither of you gave me much choice."
"We don't care if you were a boy or a girl growing up, Donnie," Jodi smiled again me, "we love the woman that we met and we're happy that you and Mitch found each other."
"Thank you." My tears did flow, at that point.
"Mitch," Oscar said, "keeping things confidential is par for the course for us, you know that. You didn't need to tell us any of this."
Mitch nodded.
"But," Bob said, "I have to say, telling us shows us how much you trust us and, believe me, we are here to support you. That's what friends and colleagues do."
"Thank you," Mitch said to everyone assembled, relief in his voice. He hugged me hard and whispered, "You were right." That made me smile.
I looked at everyone gathered around my husband's dinning room table - MY dinning room table - and I said, "Thank you, everyone. I can't believe that you all knew and didn't even discuss it amongst yourselves."
Jodi reached over and put her hand on top of my hand, the one Mitch was already holding, "Listen, young lady, you are family now, and we take care of our family. Understood?"
I smiled. "Understood. Thank you." More family. Life just seemed to get better.
Bev picked up her drink and made a toast, "To family and to friends and to the secrets that we all keep for each other!"
"Here! Here!" Everyone else shouted as they joined the toast.
Jodi looked at me and asked, "What's the mater, honey?"
"Nothing, why?" I responded.
"You're crying, baby," Mitch said to me as he gave me another hug.
"Oh, my God, I didn't even notice!" I laughed.
Things relaxed after that and we sat at the table for another hour or more, just chatting about anything and everything other than what I'd expected to be the biggest bombshell of the day. A few questions were asked about Nancy, and I admitted that Nancy and I had been a couple for a long time.
"I suspect as much," Jodi nodded. "That was why I was going to shut her out of things at first. I was afraid that she might reveal your secret."
I shook my head. "Nancy really took it well. This isn't why we broke up, of course. I didn't become... me... until after we'd broken up. She didn't know until she spotted me out on the patio just after we'd arrived. She was very surprised, but took it all in stride."
They all left right around midnight. I had already taken a moment to text Mom and let her know that everything had gone very well, but I hadn't had the time to text Marie, yet. So, before I even headed upstairs, I took a second and sent her this text - ALL IS WELL. THEY ALL HAD FIGURED IT OUT ON THEIR OWN, BUT NO ONE HAD TOLD EACH OTHER. COOL, RIGHT?
I hit 'send,' started up the stairs and before I hit the top, my phone was ringing.
"Who's calling so late?" Mitch asked from behind me.
"Rie," I laughed. I pushed the 'answer' icon and before I could even say 'hello,' my sister's voice blasted into my ear.
"How the hell did they figure it out on their own!? That's bull! I had you perfectly disguised. No one could have figured it out!"
I explained everything to her and she calmed down. "Ok, the background check we probably should have seen coming, but how could I ever have anticipating you getting naked in front of two total strangers."
"I didn't get NAKED," I insisted.
"Obviously you were naked enough for them to see your scrawny little butt," Rie scoffed. "Honest to God, Donnie, I can only do so much for you. If you are going to insist on behaving like a slut, then there's nothing more I can do."
I tried to defend myself from her comic attack. "Hey, hey, hey, I am no slut and you..."
Marie pushed right on, "I don't know what else I would call someone who galavants around an airplane naked letting other people see he tush. It's a good thing I love you or you'd be in big trouble."
"I love you, too, Rie. Kiss Hilda for me."
"Well, I am certainly not letting you get anywhere near my wife, you unabashed hussy." She was wound up and I knew she wouldn't let up as long as I was still on the line.
"Good night, Rie. I love you," I said with some authority.
"Good night, baby girl. Talk to you tomorrow." She disconnected.
"Sounds like she was on a roll," Mitch laughed as he began to prepare for bed.
"Yep," I laughed. "I think she was pretty nervous about everything all night. She was pretty revved up."
"That's because she loves you." Mitch hung his jacket on his mahogany suit stand, a furniture item I only knew exited because of old TV shows and movies, and went into the lavatory to continue disrobing.
"She loves us," I shouted back. "She was really scared. So was I, but... I guess it worked out."
Mitch emerged with his pajama bottoms on and his suit pants folded neatly over his arm, having thrown the rest of his ensemble into the hamper that resided in the lavatory. He hung the pants on the suit rack as well, then stopped and kissed my forehead. "It did. And thank goodness, because I really didn't want to leave."
My jaw dropped. "Then why did you let me say anything!?"
He smiled. "Because I love you and because it was important to you to be honest with them."
I was still shocked. "Mitch... I asked you if it was ok... Come on, if your job was that important to you, then you should have told me not to say anything."
He laughed. "Why are we having this discussion, Donnie? You needed to tell them. What you need is much more important than any job I will ever have. I love you – end of story. Come on, now... let’s go to bed."
He was right, of course, but... Then I remembered Oscar’s conversation with Mitch earlier. "Mitch?"
He looked at me and grunted a ‘huh?’
"You told me earlier that you’d tell me what was bothering you about this case you were working on. I know that Oscar tried to ask you a question about it earlier, but you didn’t want to talk about it in front of me. Can you tell me now?"
Mitch’s shoulders slumped. "Do we need to do that right now, Donnie? It’s awfully late. Can’t it wait until tomorrow?"
I shrugged. "I guess, but... never mind."
Mitch sighed at my pouting. "Ok, look... There is an issue with this case and I’ve been saddled with finding a resolution and it’s... complicated, but... I might have a solution, but it involves some... sacrifice... and I’m not sure I can ask the person who’d have to make that sacrifice if she is up to it at this time."
I blinked at the evasive nature of what he’d said. "A sacrifice? Like... what? Like in King Kong when they chained a woman up for the ‘King of the Jungle?’"
He shook his head and snickered. "No. Nothing that dramatic, but... look... this will be easier if I just show you the problem and tell you the proposed solution. Go get ready for bed and I’ll grab my briefcase. I’ll show you in bed."
He looked upset and I felt bad that I was responsible for that, but if this was this big a deal, I thought I needed to know what was up. Who knows? Maybe I could even help. I may not be a lawyer, but I’m not a complete moron.
I rushed my evening routine, washing quickly and not spending as much time as usual moisturizing. It only took me about twenty minutes until I was crawling into bed beside Mitch, who was sitting up against the headboard and had his briefcase on his lap.
"All set?" Mitch asked.
I put my pillow against the headboard, too, sat back and nodded.
Mitch took a breath and said, "Ok, now, look, honey... typically, I am not able to share the details of my work with you, you understand that, right?"
I nodded again.
He thought for a moment, then continued, "Ok... well... this is a very different situation." He pulled out a photo of a very old and very ill looking woman. "This is Evelyn Montgomery. She is one of the wealthiest women in this part of New England and she is about to enter hospice. We’re trying to get her estate in order for her, but there are problems."
"Oh, the poor woman," I said, taking the photo from Mitch. "Is there a family battle over her money or something?"
Mitch raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "Not a battle, per se... here’s the thing – Evelyn’s husband passed away quite sometime ago. They had three children together and two of those three have already passed away. Their daughter, Roxanne, died of brain cancer in her teens and their son, William, was killed back in August in a car accident."
Mitch handed me pictures of each of them as he spoke.
"What happened to the other child?" I asked.
Mitch handed me another photo. This was a mug shot of a man. "This is Roland," Mitch explained. "Roland is in prison serving three life sentences for murdering his wife, his son and his son’s wife. He also attempted to kill his son’s infant daughter. Luckily, this son," he pointed to the picture of the son named William, "was visiting his mother’s house where Roland and his son, and the rest were living. He heard the commotion upstairs and broke down the door in time to save the baby."
"Oh, my God," I muttered. "How horrible. What happened to the baby?"
"William took her in and was raising her as his own," Mitch explained. "That was almost eight years ago and the little girl doesn’t even remember her real parents. As far as she was concerned, William, her great uncle, was the only father she ever knew. She was devastated by his death."
"So," I was getting anxious about the welfare of this child, "who is watching her now?"
"That’s the problem. Evelyn has had her since August," Mitch said those words and my heart sank to my toes. "See, when William died, Evelyn was a very spray, seemingly very healthy, ninety two year old who could easily take care of a seven year old child, but then... well, in October she started looking a bit jaundiced and she went to the doctor and, well, liver cancer moves quickly, especially in a ninety two year old."
I shook my head. "That poor baby. So... what’s going to happen to her?"
Mitch sighed. "There is no other family and the last thing Evelyn wants is to have the child become a ward of the state. Last week, she came up with an idea to ask a man that she knows, a man she regards as her confidant, to take the child in and raise her... to adopt her."
"And will he?" I asked, looking at the woman. What a tragic way for her long life to end. So much sorrow.
"Well... it’s complicated..." Mitch explained as he handed me a picture of a beautiful child in a private school uniform, similar to the ones my students wore. It looked like a typical ‘first day of school’ kind of picture. The child’s smile was wide and her joy was evident. The poor baby. "See, the man she asked has no experience at all with children and, to tell you the truth, he’s only recently married and isn’t one hundred percent confident that this is the right thing for him to do."
I shook my head. "What does his wife think?"
He shrugged. "He’s afraid you talk to her about it."
"Oh, for crying out loud," I said in disgust, "why!? If they don’t take the child in, she’s going to end up in some horrible facility or bounce from foster home to foster home! So, this son of bitch is making you find someplace to place this poor little..." Suddenly I realized what an idiot I was. My head shot to my right and I look straight at Mitch. "She asked you, didn’t she?"
He nodded and for the first time ever, I think he was actually ashamed of himself.
"Mitch...!?" I was dumbfounded. "Why on earth would you be afraid to talk to me about this?"
He looked as if he might cry. "Donnie... what do we know about raising a little girl who has been through this much sadness? We have no experience with kids. I’m an only child, you’re the youngest... What if we make a mistake, Donnie?"
I shook my head. "But... we talked about adopting?"
"Yeah," Mitch sounded almost desperate, "in a year or two. I figured we could learn and babies... everyone makes mistakes with babies. It’s a learning curve. This scares me, Donnie. What if we make a mistake with her? She’s been through so much already. I just don’t know. What do you think? Do you think we could do it?"
"Mitch, yes! Yes! Yes! I know we can do it! Your Mom is right across the street, Mitch! My sister and sister-in-law are around the corner! Yes, Mitch! Not only CAN we do it, he HAVE to do it, Mitch. Please. Don’t say ‘no’ to this. We have a beautiful house, we love each other, we have a family that loves us... let’s just add this poor little girl to our family and help her to lead a happy life? Oh, my God, Mitch, just look at her, she’s gorgeous and she needs us. Please, don’t say no to her."
He nodded. "I don’t want to, honey, I really don’t, but... we need to talk about this tomorrow – like... all day tomorrow. Talk it out in a calm, level headed manner. If we take her in and we aren’t ready for all the responsibilities that come with that, then we can do more damage than I can even imagine. Ok? A calm... level headed discussion. Ok?"
"Ok," I agreed and handed the pictures back to Mitch, but I held back the final one. The one of her looking so happy in her school uniform. "Have you met her?"
Mitch nodded. "I’ve known her her whole life. Her father and I played golf together."
I shook my head. "The poor baby. What’s her name."
Mitch put his briefcase down on the floor and turned to kiss me goodnight. "Good night, babe. I love you."
What the hell!? I knew that he’d heard me. "I love you, too, Mitch, but...?"
"What?" He asked.
"What is the little girl’s name?" I asked.
He slumped again, then looked at me. It took at least five seconds for him to speak... "Marie."
"MITCH!"
To Be Continued...
Hawaiian Retreat - 10
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Donnie consider the importance of motherhood
Author's Note: Please leave me a review? ~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 10 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 10
"Ok," I agreed and handed the pictures back to Mitch, but I held back the final one. The one of her looking so happy in her school uniform. "Have you met her?"
Mitch nodded. "I've known her her whole life. Her father and I played golf together."
I shook my head. "The poor baby. What's her name."
Mitch put his briefcase down on the floor and turned to kiss me goodnight. "Good night, babe. I love you."
What the hell!? I knew that he'd heard me. "I love you, too, Mitch, but...?"
"What?" He asked.
"What is the little girl's name?" I asked.
He slumped again, then looked at me. It took at least five seconds for him to speak... "Marie."
"MITCH!"
I heard him grunt. "Donnie, it's just a coincidence. There are millions of girls named 'Marie.' Now, please... let's just go to sleep. We can discuss this in the morning. Remember - we're going to have a calm, levelheaded discussion."
"Mitch, Mitch, Mitch, no," I was suddenly very excited. "Mitch, this is fate. Look, my mother played this gawdawful joke on Rie and me when we were born, naming us Donnie and Marie. Now, this little girl's name is Marie! There's a reason for that!"
He rolled onto his back. "Donnie, please. Hundreds of girls are named Marie every day."
"Yeah." I couldn't have stopped if I'd wanted to. "but you knew this one's father. He is killed, his uncle takes the little girl in and then he dies last August."
"And?" Mitch was getting a little miffed.
"Then her great grandmother suddenly gets sick, when? In October. That's exactly the same time that I went to the Halloween party with you! That's when everyone started assuming you and I were a couple. Then, out of the blue, you ask me to Hawaii, I end up living as a woman, we get married and Evelyn asks you to take the child because she knows you are starting a family. I'm telling you, Mitch, this is why God put me on this earth. This is why he made me so small. This is why he made us fall in love. Mitch... this is why we're here. We're here to give that little girl a good life."
Mitch sat up and held his head in his hands. "Donnie... stop. I knew you'd lose it when you heard her name. It's not fate, Donnie, it's not kismet, it's just a very common name. Now, please, please, I am begging you, let's go to sleep. We will figure all of this out in the morning. Please. I really need to get some sleep."
I couldn't believe he didn't see it. I let my arms drop to my side in shock. "But Mitch..."
Mitch took the picture, from me, leaned over and put it into his briefcase, talking all the while, "No, Donnie, not until the morning. I can't take it. If you can't calm down, then I will go sleep in one of the other bedroom."
I shook my head and flopped down onto my side, my back to Mitch.
"Thank you," Mitch huffed. Then, in a more contrite tone, he said, "I love you."
I refused to look at him. "I love you, too," I muttered, unconvincingly.
"We'll talk in the morning." He tried to sooth me.
"Good night, Mitch," I muttered and then just laid there, in exactly that position, until the sun came up the next morning.
At five forty five on Sunday morning, I got out of bed, showered, dried my hair, did my makeup, picked out a cute dress and went down to the kitchen where I prepared Mitch a western omelete, oatmeal bread toast, bacon and fresh squeezed orange juice. When I'd poured some coffee into a carafe, I loaded everything I needed onto a tray and headed upstairs. It was almost seven by the time I sat down on my side of the bed and said, in a soft, sweet voice, "Mitch. Mitch, honey. I made you breakfast. Mitch."
It took a few moments, but he did wake up. He rolled towards me, groggy and confused. "Huh? What? What time is it? What's this?"
"I made you breakfast," I smiled. "Come on. Sit up and I'll put it on your lap."
He was blinking and still confused, but he sat up and pushed himself back up against the headboard. "You made me breakfast? Why?"
"Because it was a nice thing to do and I am a nice person," I teased as I walked around to his side of the bed and put the tray on his lap. "There you go. A western omelet with all the accompanying sides, just for my husband."
He looked around the room, finally appearing to be fully conscious. "Oh, well, thanks, Donnie... Umm... what time is it?"
"Umm..." I checked the clock on his nightstand. "Seven-oh-three."
His head snapped towards me. "Seven-oh.... On a Sunday morning!? What's going on?"
"It's not that early, Mitch. I've known you to get up at five on a Sunday to go golfing." I acted shocked that he would have the gall to question me. You know, I'll tell you one thing I learned from growing up with Rie and then living with Nancy, the most confusing thing a woman can do to a man is to act just a little unbalanced, then behave as if the man has absolutely no reason to question that behavior. It always threw me off balance and it kind of appeared to be working on Mitch, too.
"But I'm not going golfing. There's still snow on the ground... Why did you wake me so early? We were still talking at one thirty this morning." Mitch opened the carafe and poured himself some coffee.
I picked up his briefcase and put it on the foot of the bed, opened the latches and found the picture of the little girl in her school uniform and I pulled it out and held it up for Mitch to look at.
I heard him grunt, "Oh, Geez."
I stood my ground, though. "You said we'd talk tomorrow. Well, it's tomorrow, now, and I want to talk about this little girl. Mitch... what possible reason can you have for not taking her in?"
He cut into his omelet. "May I enjoy this wonderful breakfast before we talk?" He stuffed a piece in his mouth.
"You go ahead and enjoy your breakfast, dear," I said, as sweetly as I could. "I'll just talk, then."
Mitch used a rolling motion with his right hand to indicate that I should carry on.
"Ok, all that stuff I said about fate last night. I know you don't believe any of it, but it do and I'm standing by it. All of that aside, though, I love you, you love me, we want to adopt a child, she needs a home, why is this such a big issue?"
Mitch took another bite of his omelet and once again indicated that I should continue.
"I propose that we have a family meeting later this morning. You, me, Mom, Dad, Hilda and Marie. We sit down and we discuss this and see if they'd be willing to help us if we need help."
Mitch nodded and made that annoying rolling motion with his hand, again.
I huffed and continued. "Even though her family has lots of money, that little girl needs more than that. She needs love and a stable home. We can give her that."
Finally Mitch responded. "Can we?"
I was actually surprised by Mitch's response. "Can we, what?"
"Can we provide a stable home for Marie?"
I blinked in confusion. "Of course we can. Why would you even ask that?"
Mitch wiped his lips on a paper napkin, put his tray to the side, put his legs to the side and stood. He walked to a window, pulled the blinds opened and looked out at the sunny, late winter morning. "You know I love you, right?"
"Yeah."
"And I'd never, ever want to hurt you."
"Yeah."
He turned and looked at me, nodded sadly and looked out the window. "Donnie... I've struggled for thirty one years to figure out who I am and I only figured that out about a month ago. You weren't even you a month ago. We've only been 'us' for fifteen days. How can we be sure that we can provide a stable home for a child when I've never been THIS me, you've never been THIS you and we've never been THIS us before? I'm pretty sure I could handle Marie, and I'm pretty sure that you can handle Marie, but can WE handle everything that being Marie's guardians, or parents would entail?"
I digested that for a moment. "So... if we weren't together, you would have just taken her in?"
He sighed and hemmed and hawed. "I think I might have, but..." He looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. "...I have you, now, Donny, and I am scared to death of losing you."
"Mitch..." I couldn't believe he was thinking this way. "Mitch... honey... I love you and nothing will ever change that. All that bringing her into our lives will do is give us even more to love."
Mitch shook his head. "Donnie... before we make a decision, let's sit down and do an actual analysis of all the pros and cons and, I think your idea of having a family meeting is good, too. So, let me shower and we'll talk down stairs, ok?"
I stepped towards him, wanting to hug him, but I stopped and I'm really not sure why. I'd never seen him looking so sad and I wanted to console him, but some of the things he'd just said scared me to death. So, I just stood frozen and stared at him until he finally closed the distance between us and put his arms around me, hugging me tightly. Then, I don't know why, I hadn't started taking any hormones or anything like that, but I just broke down into uncontrollable tears and I couldn't stop. He squeezed even tighter and I cried even harder. I just could not stop.
Finally, five, six, seven minutes later I gained control again. I looked up into those amazing eyes I'd fallen in love with and I said, "I'm sorry."
He gave me a sad smile. "Me too. I don't think that there's any way that we're going to get through this without some pain, babe, and I never wanted that for you. I just want to do the right thing... for everyone."
I nodded. "Take your shower. I'll call Mom and Rie and ask them to come to lunch, ok?"
"Ok," he said. Then he released me and head into the bathroom.
I called Mom and Marie and, in both cases, they were leery about my cryptic invitation. Both wanted to know if something was wrong and if Mitch and I were in trouble due to the previous night's confessions. I assured them that we were not in any trouble and that this was a completely different matter, but they both had a hard time believing that.
Mitch had a pad of those great big post-it note type things that they use at meetings, stored in the garage, so he went and got one of those and we started with a 'Pro' sheet and a 'Con' sheet stuck to the wall of the living room. Twenty minutes later, we had seven 'Pro' sheets along the east wall and still only one 'Con' sheet on the west. Each of the 'Pro' sheets was jam packed with reasons that Little Marie would benefit from living with us and reasons that we could benefit from having a little girl to love.
The 'Con' sheet just had these:
- We've only just gotten married
- Additional cost (Mitch insisted that if we took her in, her money
would remain in trust until she was an adult) - We don't know anything about raising little girls. We were both little
boys, after all. - She may need a lot of therapy (which I found a bit offensive,
considering I'd just started therapy) - What if we make a mistake?
Mitch looked around the room at the large sheets of paper. "I admit, there's more reasons to take her in than not, but, Donnie, we can't do this alone. We need my folks and the girls to help us. If they say, 'no,' then we can't do it."
I nodded. "They'll say 'yes,' Mitch. I know they will."
Lunch time came, and for the second day in a row, we ate in the formal dining room, although we had Chinese take out on that Sunday.
"So," Mom said as she put some pork lo mien on to her plate, "what is it that you wanted to discuss with all of us?"
"You told your mother that things went well last night, Mitchell," Dad added. "We hope that nothing has changed."
"No, Dad. Nothing has changed regarding work. They were very supportive." Mitch smiled.
"Are you considering some radical surgery," Hilda asked me.
"Radical surg..." I was confused by the question for a second, but then I realized what she meant. "oh, no, no. I'm having my breasts done in three weeks, but that's all."
Mitch looked at me from the other end of the table and took a deep breath. "Ok," he took another breath, "we want your advice on something. Well... maybe advice is too strong a term. Your opinion, I guess."
"Oh," Dad said, a bit surprised that it had de-escalated so quickly from a possibly career ending scenario to just asking advice. "Is it an investment or something, son? Are you looking for some money?"
Mitch smiled and shook his head. "No, Dad, it's... it's a little bigger than that. See..." he went on to explain the situation in rather broad strokes. When he was done, Marie was the first to speak.
"So... if I understand this correctly, you guys are considering taking in a child who has been been through three traumatic deaths and is about to face a fourth?"
Mitch blinked and looked at me. I answered. "Yes. Rie... how can we not?"
Mom spoke next, "Donnie... Mitchell... I understand your desire to help this child, but... I have some concerns, to tell you the truth."
When no one said anything, Mitch finally asked, "Would you like to share those concerns, mom? We want to know what you think. All of you."
"Well..." Mom looked a little trapped. Like she needed to be honest, but didn't want to say something that would make her appear heartless. "Mitch... you've just made partner. That's going to eat up a lot of your time and Donnie... you've only just started... everything. Are you truly prepared for something like this? Something this big?"
"I am," I said. "I truly believe that Mitch and I can help this girl."
Dad cleared his throat, thoughtfully. "Mitchell? It's a big step. What do you think?"
Mitch looked at me and thought for a moment. "To tell you the truth, Dad, until about an hour ago, I had my doubts, but... well... my wife is pretty convincing. I'm sure that we can do it."
Mitch's answer surprised me. We were on the same side! When did that happen?
Everyone was quiet for a long moment. I finally looked at my sister. "Rie? What do you think?"
She folded her arms and thought for a moment. "I don't know, Donnie. I mean... you... you'd be taking on an awful lot. No offense, babe, but... you've never done anything that requires this kind of responsibility. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just... you understand what I'm trying to say, right?"
I did and I was trying hard not to take it too personally. I took a deep breath and tried hard not to cry, or get mad, but none of this made sense to me. This girl needed help and we were capable of helping her. Why didn't everyone see this?
"I... I... know that I'm not really a part of the family," Hilda said, "but may I offer an opinion?"
Mitch looked at her and scrunched up his face. "Hilda, you're as much a part of the family as I am."
She took a deep breath. "But I am not related by blood, Mitch, and I don't want anyone to be angry with me."
"Don't be silly, Hilda," Mom said. "Say what you'd like to say."
Hilda sat very straight in her chair, even straighter than usual, which is saying a lot. She cocked her head, looked at the ceiling and thought for a moment. "This child... she needs... a family. Look around. We are a family. It will not just be Donnie and Mitchell adopting this girl - it will be all of us and I, for one, would be very happy to share in the responsibility of this child."
Marie looked at her wife, astounded. "Hilda!? Are you serious?"
"Of course she is," Dad said, out of the blue, "and I agree with her. Donny, Mitchell, I believe you would make great parents and I will be here to help you every step of the way."
Now, mom's jaw dropped. "You think this is a good idea!?"
"No," Dad shook his head, "I think it's a wonderful opportunity for all of us to help out our fellow man. We all vote the liberal progressive ticket whenever possible, but right now, our son and daughter-in-law are in the position of walking the walk, as it were. I fully understand your concerns, dear, but let's look at the bottom line - There's a child who needs a family and a family who can take her in. There really is nothing else to consider."
Mom looked at her husband as if seeing him for the first time. Then she looked at Mitch and then at me. "Well... I do not want to be call 'Grandma,' or 'Nana' or anything like that. I'm only fifty five." She looked around at all of us and shrugged. "I'm here for you, kids. Dad is right. You need to do this."
I took her hand in mine. "Thank you, mom." I looked at my sister, then. "Rie?"
She shrugged. "Donnie... I can't just say I condone this. I'm not sure you're ready for something like this. I have concerns. Real concerns. Huge concerns."
I got up and went to Mitch's briefcase, returning with the first-day-of-school photo. I handed it to Mom.
"Oh, dear God," Mom put her hand to her lips. "The poor baby. She's beautiful." She handed the picture to my sister.
Marie looked at the picture and sniffled. "She's very beautiful, Donnie, and my heart aches for her, but... I stand by what I said."
Hilda looked over her wife's should to see the photo. "Ein schones Kind. What is the child's name?"
I put my hand on my sister's shoulder and, very quietly, I said, "Her name is Marie."
Rie turned and looked at me. "Really? You're not making that up?"
I shook my head. "That's her name, and you know that if I had a little girl... that would be her name."
She put down the photo and sat back in her seat. "Aunt Marie? Auntie Marie? Auntie Rie? I guess I can live with Auntie Rie." She quickly wiped a tear from her cheek, thinking none of us had seen a crack in her facade. "We have an extra room... if she ever needs to..." My tough, wise cracking sister couldn't hold back any longer. She leaned to me, put her head on her shoulder and cried more than I'd ever seen, which, to be honest, was not an awful lot. Then, with watery eyes, she looked at Hilda. "We can redo that extra room for a little girl, just in case, right?"
Hilda wrapped her arms around my sister and squeezed her cheek against Rie's. "Of course."
Everyone was gone by one thirty and Mitch stood by the door, rubbing the back of his neck. He turned to me and gave me a half smile. "Well?" He asked.
I didn't know how to respond. "What?"
Mitch took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We should... or you... should probably meet Marie, don't you think?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I suppose I should." Suddenly, I felt very nervous about this whole thing. It all seemed very high minded and important until now. Now... it felt... real. "So... how will we do this? Will we set up a meeting for next week sometime or something?"
Mitch smiled and shrugged. "How about right now?"
"Now!?" I was shocked that he wanted to move so quickly. Just a few hours ago, he was opposed to doing this.
He nodded. "The sooner the better, babe. Evelyn isn't going to get any better. She may be in hospice pretty soon. Besides... I should probably let her know that we're willing to take Marie in with us."
I let out a big breath. "Ok. Let's go see them."
Mitch smiled and pulled out his phone. "I'll let Evelyn know we're coming."
It took about forty minutes to drive to Evelyn's enormous home. Mitch explained that it was built in the eighteen nineties and had been in Evelyn's husband's family ever since. We drove up the long driveway and pulled to the side of the huge front porch.
"What will happen to the house?" I asked.
Mitch looked over at me and concern showed on his face. "All of Evie's assets will go into a trust, including this house and two others that she owns - one on Mount Dessert Island in Maine and one in Galveston, Texas. The trust will have to hire a maintenance company to oversee the properties. When Marie turns eighteen, she will have limited access to the money and property held by the trust and when she turns twenty one, it will all be hers."
I grimaced. "Wow. Having that kind of money that young... that could really mess up a kid."
"Unless her adopted parents do a good job of raising her so that she has a good set of values to fall back on and a strong sense of self and community."
I nodded and looked at my lap for a moment. When I looked back at Mitch, I realized he'd been watching me. "Hey," he took my hand and smiled, "no one said it was going to be easy, but that's the job we're signing up for, ok?"
I nodded. "Ok. I was actually only thinking about how nice it would be to buy her dresses, brush her hair, read her bed time stories... things like that."
Mitch nodded. "Yup. That, too, but... there's some tough stuff to take care of."
I nodded. "Ok. Let's do this."
Mitch smiled and got out of the car, coming around to my side and helping me out. We held hands as we walked up the stairs and Mitch rang the bell. It took a few moments, but eventually a woman in her late thirties or so came to door and smiled when she saw us. "Mitch! What a surprise."
"Hi, Pam," he smiled. "This is my wife, Donnie. Donnie, this is Pam, Evelyn's assistant."
"Oh, my goodness! The legendary Donnie at long last!" She laughed as she opened the door and held it wide for us to enter. As we walked slowly into the house, she asked, "So... you're going to take care of the baby?"
Mitch nodded. "Yeah. We talked about it and... well, how could we say no?"
Pam looked at me. "She's a very good girl. Smart as a whip, which can make her... challenging, but... like I said, she's a very good girl."
I smiled. "I'm excited to meet her."
Pam stopped walking and looked at us with a smirk on her face. "Just a warning... she's a bit more challenging than usual today."
"In what way?" Mitch asked.
Pam crossed her arms and looked at me. "Imagine being an eight year old girl. Your mother and father were killed by your grandfather, who, you are very aware, is in prison for life. Your great uncle, who treated you like a princess, dies suddenly and now, the great grandmother who has been the one constant in your life is about to die. Marie used to love school and she loves doing well. Now, with Evelyn about to leave her, everything about school is suddenly more important than ever before, but it seems like her friends are pulling away right when she needs them the most. She has a project due tomorrow and she's stressed about it. She wants help, but not from me. She's being unreasonable about wanting Evelyn's help. That's how she's being challenging - by acting like an eight year old when we constantly expect her to act like a thirty year old."
"The poor baby," I muttered in sympathy.
"Oh, God, don't say that!" Pam shook her head. "Never call her a baby. She knows that Evelyn and I do and she hates it. Always treat her like she's a mature young woman. That's the only way she'll respond to you."
I nodded. "Thank you."
Pam turned and continued into the house. We followed.
When we reached a set of double doors, Mitch stopped walking and I did as well. Pam knocked, quietly, and opened the door. She leaned in and said, "Mitch and his wife are here to see you."
We heard a weak voice call back, "Oh, wonderful. Show them in."
I was surprised that Evelyn wasn't sitting in a bed with a hundred tubes coming out of her. She was small from withering, of course, and she had a frailness about her. She also had an oxygen tank that hung from her said and fed oxygen a clear tube that led to her nostrils. She, however, did not look like a woman who was about to die. She stood on her own and looked as if she'd dressed to receive us.
She smiled at us and gushed, "Oh, Mitch, she's just lovely! You're so much prettier than your pictures, dear. Come give me a hug."
I crossed the large room to the small woman and when I hugged her. That's when I realized that her clothes all fit far too loosely and that there was almost nothing but skeleton left to her. She kissed my cheek and then pulled back a bit to look at me more carefully. She smiled and seemed to think for a moment before speaking. "You'll take good care of my baby, won't you?" Her chin quivered as she finished speaking.
"I will," I whispered.
She tried to smile, but her lips refused to cooperate. "Please, never let her forget that her Grammy loved her with all her heart. Please. Please don't let her forget me."
I knew there were tears on my cheek, but I couldn't deal with them at that moment. I felt my own chin quiver. Suddenly, I was with my own mother, watching her wither away and knowing how strong she was being for us. This tiny woman was holding on as tightly as she could and just wanted to leave the world on her terms and that's not something the world is willing to allow.
I spoke as cogently as I could, but it wasn't easy. "She'll never go a day without knowing that you loved her. I promise."
I thought that Evelyn was going to burst into tears, but instead, she nodded and chocked it all back. "Thank you. Thank you." Then she looked dizzy. "Oh, I'm sorry, but I must sit. Pam... please."
Pam hustled past me and wrapped her arms around Evelyn from behind. "I'm here, Evie. I'm here."
At that moment, I realized that Evelyn had mustered every bit of strength she had in her to be standing and looking good when we entered. It was important to her the I met Evelyn, the strong woman, not Evelyn, the dying old lady.
I looked to Mitch, who gave me a sad, knowing smile and put his arm around me. "You ok?"
I nodded.
"Mitch!" A tiny voice screamed from the door. I turned to see the little girl who I recognized as Marie bolting into the room towards my husband.
"Mae Mae!" Mitch laughed as he opened his arms and lifted the child off of her feet, holding her in a manner that indicated that they were very close. "Mae Mae, I have someone I'd like you to meet. This ravishing woman is my wife..."
"Donnie!" The girl said, excited. "I've seen your picture."
I smiled. "I've seen yours, too, but you're much prettier than your picture."
"I hear you're having some trouble with your homework," Mitch said to the little girl, in a confidential voice.
Marie rolled her eyes. "It's so stupid. It's a project board about The Water Cycle and I either have to print out pictures of grass and ponds and stuff, or I have to draw pictures."
Mitch looked as if he was pondering that for a moment. "So... what's the problem? Why is that stupid?"
The girl acted as if Mitch had no sense at all. "Because - they won't let me print off the computer unless someone watches me. Grammy is sick and Pam says she's too busy."
"Ok, then draw the pictures," Mitch said, but the look on Marie's face said that he had no idea what he was talking about.
"I can't, Mitch. I can't draw at all. I stink at it."
Mitch opened his mouth and eyes in feigned surprise. "Do you know what!? My wife, here, is an artist."
"Really?" Said the little girl, impressed.
"Really," I said.
"She can draw anything!" Mitch said. "I betcha that she could help you draw pictures for your project."
She looked at me, with a smile. "Can you?"
"Sure," I said with a smile in return. "If you'll work with me, I bet we can do it together."
"Great!" She wiggled and broke free of Mitch and dropped to the floor. "Come on," she insisted as she hurried out the door.
I looked at Mitch and raised my eyebrows. "I guess I'm leaving."
As I started to walk away, I heard Mitch say, "Hey." I turned and looked at him. "Take it slow, ok?"
I smiled and nodded and followed the girl into the hallway.
In the hall, Marie took my hand, led me a few doors down and into what had obviously once been a business office, but now was office furniture covered in stuffed animals, dolls, little sweaters and crayons. On the cluttered desk, a project board was laying open with crudely cut pieces of papers with words like 'Rain' and 'Trees' scribbled angrily on them.
I looked around and asked, "Where should we start?"
Marie screwed up her mouth and said, "Hmmm. Maybe the title."
"Ok," I said, picking up a piece of construction paper and a few crayons. "What should the title be?"
She made a show of thinking, again. I liked this kid, she was quirky. "How about... 'The Amazing Water Table,'"
I chuckled at that. "Ok. How about I make the letters and you color them in? Does that sound good?"
She nodded broadly.
I sat and went to work. Marie stood very close to my left side and watched me carefully as I formed bubble letters on the yellow construction paper.
After a few moments, while still keeping her eyes on my hands, she said, "You smell nice."
I smiled. "Well, thank you."
A moment later, she said, "I like your dress. The flowers are pretty."
I raised my left arm and let her see more clearly. I was surprised when she took the opportunity to move in more closely, so that she was now standing against side and when I brought my left arm back down, I had no choice but to wrap it around her shoulders.
"Here," I said as I put the title in front of her, "now you color it in. I'll start the next one. What should it say?"
"Here," Marie reached for a list of words she'd intended to use. "I need all of these." The list had your basic, third grade list of words for the water table. 'Rain, snow, humidity, rivers, streams, ponds, etc.'
I grabbed another piece of paper and went to work as Marie began the almost painfully careful procedure of coloring in the letters in the title of the project.
"Do you like school?" I asked.
"It's good," she replied while she worked. "My teacher is nice, but I don't have many friends."
"Why's that?" I asked.
"I don't know," she muttered. "I think they feel weird around me."
"That doesn't make sense," I said. "You're very smart and I think you're very pretty. Why would the they feel weird around you?"
She shrugged. "Because of my parents and my uncle dying... and now my Grammy is dying, too. It's like I'm bad luck to be near, I guess."
I stopped and looked at her as she continued to color in the letters. "You're not bad luck, Marie. You know that, right?"
She shrugged. "It doesn't matter. They all kind of stink, anyway."
I didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter because Marie continued on her own. "Grammy says that she's going to be dead in a couple of weeks, so I probably won't go to that school for long."
"Your Grammy told you that she was dying soon?"
Another shrug. "She told me she loved me and we had to get ready because she didn't have long, but I heard her talking to Pam. This morning she said she only had a couple of weeks to go."
Her focus remained on her coloring as I petted her soft, brown hair. "Your Grammy is a very old lady, Marie. She doesn't want to leave you, but... sometimes we can't control these things."
"I know," she said, matter-of-factly. "I'm done." She showed me how well she'd colored in the letters.
"You did a beautiful job," I said, handing her a sheet with several more words drawn out on it. "Here are some more."
She went to work on them, immediately.
"Do you like to color?" I asked.
Another shrug.
"You're a very good colorer," I said.
She didn't look at me, but she smiled.
We both went about our business, drawing and coloring. Nearly an hour had gone by and the project board was nearly done, when out of the silence, Marie suddenly asked, "Am I going to come to live with you?"
It caught me completely off guard. I looked at the child for a moment before asking, "Would you like that?"
She shrugged again. "I like Mitch. He makes me laugh."
I smiled. "Yes, he can be very nice, can't he?"
I watched her work, rubbing glue stick onto neatly cut pieces of paper and sticking them to the project board. Then I asked the dumbest question I'd every asked in my life, and the weird thing was... I knew it was stupid when I asked it. "Do you like me?"
She turned and looked at me and said, "You're pretty and you smell good," good start, right, "but..."
"But what?" I asked.
"I don't know you."
Huh. That was blunt. I smiled at the child and nodded. "You're very smart, Marie. I like that." She arranged the last few pieces and rubbed them onto the project board. "Marie," I said as gently as I could, "if you come to live with Mitch and me, I promise... I will do everything I can to make you happy in our family."
She turned and looked at me. She looked me up and down, as if sizing me up. "Like said, I'd like to live with Mitch. He's nice."
I understood entirely. I mean, I liked living with Mitch, too. I nodded. "Ok. We'll both live with Mitch."
A few minutes later, we were back in Evelyn's room. The older woman was in night clothes, now, and propped up in her hospital bed. She looked to be in good spirits, though and she smiled as Marie and I approached.
"Look, Grammy," the child showed the old woman the project board. "Donnie helped me with my project."
"Oh, that's beautiful, Mae Mae!" Evelyn smiled, looked closely at the project. "You two make a very good team."
Marie beamed with pride.
"Do you like Dawn, then?" Evelyn asked.
The child looked at her great grandmother, confused. "Whose Dawn?"
"Dawn is my wife, Mae Mae," Mitch smiled.
The child looked at me. "Mitch said your name was Donnie."
I smiled. "Donnie is a nickname for Dawn. Just like Mae Mae is a nickname for Marie. You know what? My twin sister's name is Marie, too, but we call her 'Rie.' That's her nickname."
Marie nodded. "That's good. That way, we'll never get mixed up."
"That's right," I said. "We'll never get you mixed up that way."
We talked for another few minutes, but it was clear the Evelyn was struggling to stay awake, so fairly soon, Mitch stood and said that we needed to leave. "Come on, Mae Mae. Walk us to the door."
The girl took Mitch's hand and they headed for the door. I looked at Evelyn, who was watching Mitch and Marie walking away. I didn't quite know what to say. The old lady looked at me and reached for my hand, which I took.
"It's going to be ok, Donnie," she said in a voice that was much weaker than the voice I'd heard upon my arrival. "I'm ready to go and, by the time that happens, Mae will be ready, too."
I looked at her and my heat broke all over again. "Evelyn... I... I am so sorry about all of this..."
The old lady squeezed my hand tightly. "Donnie. I’ve lived a long life. Most of it was wonderful, but it’s time for me to go. Now that you and Mitch have agreed to take care of Mae... everything will be fine."
I bent and kissed her extraordinarily smooth face. I tried and I tried and I tried, but I could not think of anything to say. I just looked at the woman and felt my eyes tearing up.
"It’s ok, dear," she said. "There is nothing that needs to be said. Go ahead and say goodbye to Mae."
When I caught up with Mitch in the foyer of the house, he was sitting on a bench with Marie standing in front of him. He was holding her hands in his and speaking quietly. "We have a nice room for you and I think you and Donnie will get along well together. She’s a teacher, you know. If you really want to change schools, then we can arrange for you to go to the school where Donnie teaches. Would you like that?"
She nodded.
"It’s going to be ok, Mae Mae. Your Grammy is in a lot of pain, but she’s ready to move on," Mitch said.
Mae nodded again.
I sat next to Mitch and rubbed the girl’s shoulder. "Hi."
Mitch looked at me and said, "Guess what? Mae Mae would like to come and live with us when Evelyn goes into hospice. Isn’t that great?"
‘Great?’ That seemed like an odd thing to say. I hadn’t felt this sad since my own mother’s death. Instead of trying to ease my own pain, I smiled. "That is great, Mae. I think you’ll like it at our house."
"You will, Mae Mae," Mitch said. "Can we give you a hug goodbye?"
She nodded and looked at me. I leaned forward and gave her a gentle hug. Then she turned to Mitch and put her arms around his neck and gave him a big hug.
"Ok, Mae Mae. We’ll see you on Tuesday after school, ok? You and Donnie and I will go have some dinner and get to know each other."
"Ok," the child said and we headed for the door.
We drove a good way home without a lot of talking. I was preoccupied by the sadness of what I’d just gone through. Until we got to Evelyn’s house, it had all been a bit of a fantasy. The reality of it was a lot to take in.
"You’re not having second thought, are you?" Mitch asked.
His words kind of shocked me out of my revery. "What? Second thoughts? No. Of course not. I was just thinking about how sad the whole situation is."
Mitch nodded. "There’s no way that death isn’t going to be sad, honey, but I guess this is a bit sadder than most cases."
"Marie seems to be taking it all in stride."
He shook his head. "No she’s not. She just doesn’t comprehend it all, just yet. She might not even understand it when Evie passes on. She didn’t really seem to process things when William died. Even though Evie’s done everything she can to prepare Marie, I think we’ll need to find her a good councilor to make sure she’s coping as she gets older."
I nodded. "Ok."
We had dinner at a nice little, family run restaurant that Mitch knew about on the way home. The owners were clients of the firm, so they treated Mitch like a king. By the time we got home, it was past eight o’clock and, seeing as I’d been awake since Saturday morning, I was exhausted. So, we were in bed before nine.
I laid with my head on Mitch’s chest with his arm around me and I whispered. "We can do this, right?"
He looked at me with a smirk on his face. "It’s a little late to have second thoughts, babe. I already told Evelyn we’d do it."
"I know and I wasn’t suggesting that we back out, I was just..." I took a deep breath. "We CAN do this, right?"
I felt Mitch rub my slender arm with his big hand. "Yeah, babe. We can do this."
Monday and Tuesday at school went just wonderfully. I felt like I had a real handle on this teaching stuff. I really enjoyed being with the girls and teaching them how to express themselves through art. The smiles I’d see when I’d congratulate them on a piece of work made my heart happy. And there was always something positive to say about their work, even if there were problems with the larger work.
On Tuesday afternoon, I met with Alma and Alycia to discuss my first week at the school. We met in the Principal’s office. Alma sat behind her very well organized desk and perused the file in her hand. Alycia sat beside me and did the same. I’d worn a long, flowered, pleated skirt and cap-sleeved, white top, with two strands of hair, one from either side of my forehead, pulled back into a small hair clip. I’d taken to wearing my hair this way when going to school, just avoid constantly pushing it out of my face.
"Well..." Alma took a deep breath and thumbed through the pages. "...it seems as if your first week has gone very well. Excellent remarks from the teachers. The girls seem to like you very much. Both Alycia and I have seen examples of student work and it all looks challenging and worthwhile... all in all, Donnie, from our point of view, it looks as if we’ve made a good decision."
"Thank you," I said, feeling unusually proud of myself.
Alycia spoke up, next, "Most of the family response has been very positive, as well, although we did have one parent complain that her daughter wasn’t getting enough attention."
"What!?" I said, very concerned. "Who complained? Honestly, I haven’t ignored any students, Alma, honestly."
The principal smiled at me, but she spoke to Alycia. "Let me guess. It was Mrs Abbott complaining that poor Rebecca was being ignored by the new teacher. Am I correct?"
Alycia smiled and nodded. "Don’t worry, Donnie. Unless you’re sitting and holding Rebecca’s hand every minute of the day, Mrs Abbott is going to complain."
I relaxed a bit. "Rebecca’s got the curly, red hair, right. She seems very quiet, but she has certainly not been neglected in my classes. If anything, I’ve probably given her more attention than most of the other girls."
Alma waved my concerns away. "Some of our parents feel that their tuition payments ensure that their child will get all the attention, all the time. Mrs Abbott is the most vocal of that group. Don’t fixate on one parent – especially one who has filed multiple complaints against every teacher at this school."
"If she wasn’t complaining about you, we’d be much more concerned," Alycia tease.
"So," Alma closed her file and set it aside, "can you give me a rough idea of what you’re planning for the last quarter of the year?"
I knew that this question was coming, Alycia had warned me, so I launched into a description of projects I had planned for each of my class levels for the remainder of the year, focusing on the skills that the students would be learning from each. I spoke for about five minutes, then waited for a response.
Alma smiled and looked at Alycia who said, "I told you. She never does anything halfway."
"Indeed you did," Alma nodded. "That all sounds wonderful, Donnie. Just let us know if you need anything from us."
Alycia continued, "Supplies, paint, paper, things like that. Keep an eye on the supply cabinet and make sure that we have a week or two to get whatever you’re about to use up."
"Ok. Thank you," I nodded.
"Well, I guess that’s it," Alma looked at each of us, "unless there’s something you’d like to say..." she let that hang in the air as if no one ever had anything to say at that point.
"Actually," I said, cautiously, "there is something I’d like to ask about."
Alma looked a bit surprised, but just waited for me to continue.
I looked at Alycia, who also looked a bit surprised, then I spoke. "See... my husband and I are in a rather... unexpected circumstance, and... well... it appears that we are going to be parents quite a bit sooner than we expected."
"Oh, Lord, you’re pregnant!" Alycia perked up.
"No, no," I assured her. "It’s just that we’re taking in a little girl who has has a great deal of hardship. Her great grandmother is about to pass away and she’s asked Mitch and me to take the child in. Anyway, I was wondering if we might enroll the little girl here for the remainder of the school year."
Alma pulled a yellow legal pad out of her middle desk drawer and began taking notes. "Tell me about the girl."
I gave her a brief history of Marie’s current situation.
"You say you’re taking the child from her great grandmother, correct?" Alma asked. "Where are the child’s parents?"
I explained the sad history of Marie and her family and I was a bit surprised by the reaction it received. Alma put her pad down and looked at Alycia before she spoke.
"Tell me, Donnie, has this little girl seen a therapist or been to counseling of any kind?"
I looked from Alma to Alycia, who did not make eye contact with me. "Umm... no. Not yet, but Mitch and I have already spoken about the need for her to be in therapy with so much going on."
Alma swayed from side to side in her desk chair as she thought. "Donnie... this is a very exclusive school and one of the reasons that parents pay the... very high... fees we charge is because we guarantee that their daughters will be educated in a safe environment."
I nodded and waited for more.
"This little girl, Donnie... she has witnessed some very extreme violence and that kind of thing tends to come out at stressful times. I’m afraid that if you are asking us to take her in as a student THIS YEAR, then the answer will have to be ‘no,’ and, believe me, I regret having to say that, but we have more experience with these things than you and this is for the best, both for the school and this little girl. Let her finish out the school year where she is. With her friends."
I was astounded. She’d just said ‘no’ to what I thought would be a simple request. I looked at Alycia, for support, but she said, "It’s for the best, Donnie. We’ve had troubled girls here before. It’s best if she gets some help over the summer, then starts fresh in the fall."
I was silent, unsure of what to say. I could feel a flame rising up my spine. How could they just sit there and say ‘no’ to this child?
"So," Alma put her legal pad back in her drawer, "if there is nothing further, I think that wraps up..."
I couldn’t help it. I interrupted. "I’m sorry... I am new to this world, but this doesn’t seem right to me."
"What world is that, Donnie?" Alma asked.
"The world of rich people who just say ‘no’ to people." I said, perhaps too brusquely. "I mean, I hate to be a pain in the butt, but I’m about to become this girl’s adopted mother and if I’m not willing to advocate for her, then who will?"
"Donnie..." Alycia tried to explain something, but I held up my hand and kept going.
"No, please, let me finish. Now, I haven’t seen Marie’s grades, but this is a very bright little girl we’re talking about and Mitch and I will have no problem paying her tuition, so you’re making your decision based entirely on the basis of circumstances far beyond her control. She was an infant when her grandfather killed her parents. She has no recollection of that. And her great uncle’s death didn’t occurred in front of her. People are killed in car accidents everyday and I have never heard of their children being denied an education because their parent or guardian was killed."
"Donnie..." Alma seemed to have heard enough, but I had not said enough by a long shot.
"And now that her great grandmother is entering the last days of her life, your decision isn’t to help a child in need, but to turn your back on her? I just don’t understand that decision!"
"We are not turning our back on her," Alma insisted, "we are willing to take her as a student in the fall..."
"She doesn’t need you to take her in the fall. She needs you to take her as a student in a week or so when she moves in with us."
Alycia spoke more forcefully, "Donnie, we have policies in effect that have proved appropriate time and time again. You have no idea how frequently we are asked to add a student mid year. It’s just not possible to take in every hard luck story that comes our way."
"Hard luck story!?" I couldn’t believe that these women were reducing this family’s tragedy to a ‘hard luck story!’ "This is not just any little girl, I am talking about, Alma... Alycia. This little girl is about to become MY little girl. My daughter."
Had I just said ‘my daughter?’ My God, she was going to be MY DAUGHTER wasn’t she? I’d never considered those word before. Marie was about to become MY DAUGHTER. Not my ward. Not my foster daughter. My daughter. I was about to become her MOTHER. HER MOTHER! And these women were’t denying help to the little girl I was going to be taking care of – they were denying help to MY DAUGHTER! My job was to advocate for my daughter.
I straightened my back and looked both of them in the eye. First Alycia, then Alma. "Perhaps... if my daughter is not good enough to attend this school, then I am not good enough to teach here."
Alma rolled her eyes. "Donnie, please consider what you’re saying. You’ve only just started here. We are very happy with your work and you, obviously, enjoy teaching. Don’t just throw that all away over a disagreement."
I stood, hurt and angry. "I do love this job, Alma, and, Alycia, I am very thankful for the opportunity, but I am taking on the responsibility of raising a child who has been through Hell, and if I cannot have her near me, in this building, to help her when she needs me, then I cannot be here. I am sorry. Thank you for the job, but..." I turned and headed for the door.
"Donnie," Alycia said, her head down. "Please reconsider this. There are only eleven weeks of school left and we are willing to bring the girl on as a student in September."
I looked to Alma who remained silent, so I turned and walked out of her office and walked quickly to my classroom.
When I reached my desk, I grabbed my phone and pushed Mitch’s number. It rang two times before he answered, obviously on speaker phone.
"Hi, babe," he said, happily. "Guess who..."
I interrupted. "I just quit my job."
"What?" He was suddenly shocked. "Why?"
I spat out the explanation of their refusal to take MY DAUGHTER into their school, as I fought back the tears.
I was surprised to hear a reply come in Bev’s voice respond. "This is absurd. Do not leave that classroom!" She said emphatically.
"She’s making a call," Mitch said.
"Why didn’t you tell me she could hear me?" I asked, a bit shook.
"I tried to tell you, but you just started talking," Mitch said, apologetically.
A few moments passed and I could hear Bev in the distance, speaking in her most pompous inflection. I’d heard her use it with other woman on the retreat to get their attention.
Suddenly, over the school’s PA system, an announcement came. "Miss Dawn, if you’re still in the building, please come to the main office."
"They just called me to the office," I said to Mitch.
"You bet your skinny, little butt they did," Bev said, a bit angrily. "Make sure to say ‘thank you’ to them, dear. That’s important to them."
"Ok," I said, very confused and I walked back down the hall to the main office.
"You called me?" I asked the secretary.
She nodded, then knocked on the door to Alma’s office. "Miss Dawn is here." She turned back to me and said, "You can go in."
I walked into the office and stood behind the chair that I’d previously sat in. Alycia was still there.
Alma spoke, first. "Perhaps we were too hasty, Donnie. After discussing it, Marie may join us for the remainder of the school year. We hope that this satisfies your family’s needs and that you will remain teaching here, as well."
I nodded. "Thank you. That is very nice of you. Yes, I would like to continue teaching here."
"Alright, then," Alma looked at Alycia. "Is there anything else?"
Alycia cleared her throat. "Donnie... we’re glad that this worked out, but you will need to be responsible for this little girl’s behavior. If she starts acting out, then we will have to review this matter."
I nodded again. "Of course."
"When will Marie be joining us?" Alma asked.
"I’m not entirely sure," I replied, honestly. "Within the next two weeks, I should expect."
"Alright then," Alma made some sort of notation on her pad, "we’ll see you tomorrow and Marie when she is ready to make the move to this school."
I nodded once more and headed to the door. "Thank you, again," I said as I headed back to my classroom.
When I got there, I called Mitch, again. "Is everything all set?" Mitch asked.
"Yes," I replied, "but what happened?"
Mitch chuckled. "Bev is on the board of directors there. She laid down the law."
I sighed. "Do you think I can keep working here? I mean, Alma is my boss..."
"And Bev is her boss, so, at this point, I’d guess that your position is more secure than Alma’s. Now, why don’t you go home and get freshened up. I’ll pick you up in an hour or so, and we can pick up Marie and take her to dinner as planned, ok?"
I breathed a bit more easily. "Ok. See you then."
We picked up Little Marie and took her to a local pizza place that also had an arcade. It was kind of a little kid paradise – noisy, exciting and the pizza was actually pretty good. Marie turned out to be pretty proficient Skee-Ball player and she was accumulating quite a collection of tickets before we sat down to have some pizza.
"Wow, Marie," I said, sounding as excited as I could, "you are REALLY GOOD at Skee-Ball."
She took a bite of her pizza and smiled, then shrugged. "It’s easy."
"Maybe for you," I continued, "but it’s not for me. You’ve won a lot more tickets than I have."
Mitch sat down with a pitcher of root beer, Marie’s favorite, and he smiled at us. "Getting to know each other?"
I was about to answer, but Marie went first. "Are you going to be my mother and father?" It was a very innocent question, but it’s bluntness sure caught me by surprise.
I looked at Mitch, who smiled at the girl and said, "Mae Mae... Donnie and I would be very happy to be your mother and father, but only if that’s what you want, too."
The child looked at Mitch and then at me. "I guess that would be ok. I like you guys, so... I guess it’d be good."
"Marie..." I started to say, but she stopped me.
"Ugh! I hate being called Marie! If I’m going to live with you, I need you to start calling me Mae, or Mae Mae. Never Marie, though."
I smiled. "Ok... Mae... would you like to go to the school where I teach? It’d be a new start all around. New school, new mom, new dad... what do you think?"
She took a nibble of pizza and thought. "I guess that would be good, too. No one really likes me at my school. Maybe I could make some friends at your school."
I smiled. "I bet you could. There are a lot of nice girls at my school. You’ll like them."
Mitch reached across the table and patted Mae’s hair. "It’s going to be ok, Mae Mae. We will take care of you."
"I know," Mae said, strangely matter-of-factly.
By the time we were ready to leave, Mae had won enough tickets to get a little teddy bear, a Wishnik Troll Doll and two pencil toppers. She was very happy.
We brought her home and said our good nights, promising to come pick her up to stay with us over the weekend. Before we left, I held her. It was much more than a hug for me. I had developed feelings for this child that I never had felt before. I think it was even more important to me than it was to Mitch. I mean, he’d known Mae since she was born. From the time I met her, though, I knew that I was going to be taking care of this little girl and now... now... I had a desperate need to take care of her. It was a compulsion like nothing I’d ever felt before.
When we got home and into bed, I sat next to Mitch, still rubbing moisturizer into my arms while he sat up, watching the news. Without turning to me, Mitch said, "I think she likes you."
I smiled. "She is an amazing kid. The more I see her, the more I love her."
Mitch looked at me and smiled. "I could tell. You know... I don’t think I ever thought about becoming a father. I mean... I considered it as an abstract, but in real life... I wasn’t really ready for this. Now that’s it’s happening, though... I can’t wait."
"Me neither," I said as I leaned my head on his shoulder. "Obviously, when I thought about having kids, it was as a dad, not a mom."
He leaned his head towards me and kissed me, softly. "You’re going to be a great mom. I know it. Look at how you stood up for her today. You’re a natural."
I kissed Mitch in return and I put an arm around his neck. "I love you, Mitch. I mean that, for real. If I do become a good mother, it’ll only be because we’re such a good team." I kissed him, again and I maneuvered myself onto his lap. "How come we can’t just be a regular guy and girl? I’d love to be pregnant and give you a child."
Mitch’s smile grew into a leer. "Well, maybe we can’t get you pregnant, but there’s nothing that says that we can’t try."
He rolled me over and kissed the side of my breast. He raised himself up and began to kiss my neck with the softest, warmest kisses I’d ever felt. I shivered and I bent my neck to offer more surface to be kissed. "I love you, so much," I gasped.
"And you are all the woman I will ever need," Mitch said, in response.
To Be Continued...
Hawaiian Retreat - 11
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Author's Note: If something about this story strikes you, please, leave me a comment. I would like to know what you think of my stories. ~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 11 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 11
When we got home and into bed, I sat next to Mitch, still rubbing moisturizer into my arms while he sat up, watching the news. Without turning to me, Mitch said, "I think she likes you."
I smiled. "She is an amazing kid. The more I see her, the more I love her."
Mitch looked at me and smiled. "I could tell. You know... I don't think I ever thought about becoming a father. I mean... I considered it as an abstract, but in real life... I wasn't really ready for this. Now that's it's happening, though... I can't wait."
"Me neither," I said as I leaned my head on his shoulder. "Obviously, when I thought about having kids, it was as a dad, not a mom."
He leaned his head towards me and kissed me, softly. "You're going to be a great mom. I know it. Look at how you stood up for her today. You're a natural."
I kissed Mitch in return and I put an arm around his neck. "I love you, Mitch. I mean that, for real. If I do become a good mother, it'll only be because we're such a good team." I kissed him, again and I maneuvered myself onto his lap. "How come we can't just be a regular guy and girl? I'd love to be pregnant and give you a child."
Mitch's smile grew into a leer. "Well, maybe we can't get you pregnant, but there's nothing that says that we can't try."
He rolled me over and kissed the side of my breast. He raised himself up and began to kiss my neck with the softest, warmest kisses I'd ever felt. I shivered and I bent my neck to offer more surface to be kissed. "I love you, so much," I gasped.
"And you are all the woman I will ever need," Mitch said, in response.
The rest of the work week was surprisingly comfortable. Alycia acted like nothing had happened, greeting me and smiling when I saw her on Wednesday. I didn't see Alma on Wednesday, but when I saw her on Thursday, she was typically casual and gracious. Both visited my classroom throughout the rest of the week - nothing unusual, just the typical walk throughs. Each visit involved smiles and compliments to the children on their work. Nothing had changed in their attitudes and things appeared to be back to normal.
After school on Friday, I drove across the city to Marie's school to pick her up and talk to the principal about Marie's academic career. This school was in a late twentieth century building that had once been a public school. It was smaller than the school in which I taught, but seemed to have a similarly sized student body, although there were both boys and girls at this school.
"Good afternoon," the very tall, very handsome, very athletic principal said as he came out to greet me. "Come on in." He seemed very gregarious and eager to talk.
"No calls, Dot," he said to the woman in charge of the outer office. "We shouldn't be too long."with that, he closed the door behind us and offered me a seat.
"So..." he checked his notes, "you must be Dawn, correct? And your husband is Mitchell, right? Pam from Evelyn's office tells me that you are adopting Martha, is that correct?"
I shook my head. "No. Marie. We're adopting Marie."
The man scowled and checked his notes. "Marie? Wait..." he rustled through his papers. "Why do I have 'Martha' written here?"
"Perhaps you know her as Mae or, maybe, Mae Mae?" I offered, trying to be helpful, not just confused by this man's suddenly befuddled behavior, but also more than a bit angry that he hadn't even taken a moment to prepare for this meeting. I mean, we were only discussing something that would impact the rest of this little girl's life.
"Oh," he said suddenly. He smiled a very charming smile at me. It was already obvious to me that this man got a lot of mileage out of that smile. "Ah, here we are," he smiled again. "Ok, Marie, ah yes, Marie. Good grades, hard worker, polite... yeah, she seems like a good kid."
"May I see her transcript?" I asked, not really satisfied with the principal's thumbnail assessment.
"Umm..." he hesitated for a moment, then said, "Sure," and turned the folder so that I could see it.
Marie's grades looked very good. "'E' for excellent in most subjects, with an 'S' for satisfactory in Phys Ed and Art. I glanced through the rest of the file, until I came upon a report from the school councilor. I read through the report and my heart broke as I read a recent evaluation. "Marie is a very confused young lady. She seems to vacillate between denial and despair. Most days are fine, but occasionally, Marie will be nearly unresponsive in the classroom. Family refuses to consider anti-depression medication."
I felt a clamp tightening around my heart as I read the evaluation. "Anti-depression medication!?" I muttered. She was a baby, for crying out loud. She needed love and hugs and understanding and support, not drugs.
"Yeah," the principal was watching me closely, "our councilor recommended Prozac for Marie. She was really out of it at the beginning of the school year."
"Out of it!?" I said, shocked. "The child's great uncle - her guardian - the man she'd looked to as a father - had just died in a car accident. Didn't it occur to you that this little girl needed some love and understanding instead of drugs!?"
His smile was more condescending than I would have cared for it to be. "Yes, of course, but we only see the students for six hours a day. That leaves eighteen at home and..."
"... and you assumed that no one was showing her any support at home?" I was getting more angry than I should have been. "Have you met her great grandmother? The woman adores this child!"
"And she's battling liver cancer," he said dismissively. "She's dealing with her own issues..."
"Listen," I closed the folder and laid it on the desk. "I don't know how you were brought up, but I was brought up NOT to fill little girls with drugs if at all possible."
"She was depressed..."
"She was mourning! There's a difference!"
"With all due respect, ma'am, you weren't here..."
"And with all due respect, sir, I am now and I will be removing my daughter from this school next week." I reached into my purse and pulled out a business card for my school and handed it to the principal. "Please forward her records to this address. Thank you." I stood to leave.
The principal cleared his throat. "You can't run away from her problems."
"And you can't drug them into submission, sir." He started to speak, but I held up my hand to stop him. "I understand that you were trying to do your best for Marie, I really do, but... she doesn't need drugs and apathy. She needs my husband and me. We will be moving her to another school next week. I will call you on Monday." I turned and exited his office.
I asked the woman at the counter where I could find the children who were waiting to be picked up.
"They're in the gym," the woman smiled. "Straight down this hall to the end."
I thanked her and walked down the hall. When I reached the gym, I looked in through the windows in the door. There were about twenty five boys and girls. Most were playing with each other - basketball, catch, shuffleboard, etc - and there were some small groups of children sitting and looking at books, phones or iPads.
I looked around and didn't see Marie at first. Eventually, I saw her sitting by herself, to the side of the gym, with a large book in her hands. She was reading the book and writing on a piece of paper. I opened the door and entered, telling the woman in charge who I was. She pointed towards Marie and I walked over and sat near her. I looked at the book, saw it's title: 'How To Draw Fairies and Other Magical Beings.' "I see that you want to learn how to draw fairies," I said, surprising her.
She looked up at me, smiled and shrugged. "Hi." She looked at the cover of the book, then back to me and shrugged. "Yeah. I'd like to get better at drawing and stuff." She showed me the piece of paper with a not too badly drawn fairy on it.
I smiled at her and said, "That's very good, Mae."
She shrugged. "It's not as good as I want it to be."
"Well," I smiled, "would you like me to help you get better at that?"
She nodded, in an uncommitted way. I smiled, anyway. "Hey, do you have your bag for the weekend?"
She nodded and pointed towards the teacher who'd signed me in. "It's at the sign in desk."
I offered my hand and we walked back to the door, grabbed her bag and left the building. Once I had Marie secured in the backseat of my new, red, hybrid car, I got in, looked in the mirror and said, "Mitch won't be out of work for a couple of hours. How would you like to go to the shopping center with me? Maybe we could get you a new dress or something."
Marie shrugged. "What kind of dress?"
"Well..." I thought for a few moments, "what kind of dress would you like?"
"I don't know. Maybe something with flowers, like you wear. Pam buys my clothes and she says that solid colors are more useful, but... I'd like something with flowers, maybe." The little girl said with a smile and a nod.
I smiled. "Ok. Let's find you something with flowers."
We got to the mall and headed for some of the more casual stores for children. Old Navy was filled with fun, inexpensive, playful dresses that Mae absolutely loved. We bought her five lovely dresses, three were covered in flower prints and the other two had bright, plaid patterns. Marie said that she liked all of the dresses because they looked like my dresses. Of course, I loved that.
Marie wore a cute little flowered dress out of the store and back into the mall. I was watching her as she spun and watched the skirt expand and relax again. She seemed very happy.
We were headed to Kids Gap when I heard the overly rehearsed voice of my mother-in-law calling to me. "Donnie! Donnie is that you?"
Of course, I'd arranged to 'run into' Mom at that mall. I knew that she still had reservations about us adopting Mae Mae and I figured the best way to resolve that was to have them meet.
"Mom, what are you doing here?" I asked, probably sounding just as over rehearsed as Mom had. "I ushered Mae Mae in front of me and I said, "Mae Mae, this is Mitch's mother. She lives right across the street from us. She's been very excited to meet you."
Mom bent lower and extended her hand. "Well, hello, Mae. I've heard so much about you. It's awfully nice to meet you."
Mae Mae shook her hand. "Hi," she said, not quite sure what she should say.
"Do you like Mae's new dress?" I asked.
"Oh, my," Mom reached out and touched the material of the dress, "that is a beautiful dress, Mae, and you make it look beautiful, too."
Mae smiled. "I do?"
"You sure do," Mom smiled and laughed a little. "Did you pick it out all by yourself?"
Mae shook her head. "Donnie helped. I like it because it looks like a dress she'd wear."
"Well, that makes sense," Mom stood back up, "because Donnie is very pretty, too. Just like you."
Marie liked that and smiled. She took my hand and started pulling me towards Kids Gap. I smiled at Mom. "Why don't you join us? We just left Old Navy and we're headed over there, now."
Mom started walking with us. "Did you find anything at Old Navy?"
I smiled. "Just five, very pretty dresses."
"Five!" Mom laughed. "It hard to say 'no' to a little girl, isn't it?"
I smiled. "Impossible."
Five more dresses at Kids Gap and some new athletic shoes from Footlocker, then Mae was ready for dinner in The Food Court.
It was obvious that the mall was not a common experience in Mae's life, so she was very excited about eating where there was such a big variety of foods. I guided her past the typical McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, Arby's, etc, and towards a place that sold Japanese chicken over rice and vegetables. I got one for Mom and one for Mae Mae and me to share and headed to the table area where Mom had found a place to sit and eat.
Now, my meeting up with Mom was all very contrived, of course, but I actually stopped in my tracks when I saw my twin sister sitting with Mom and Mae. "Hi," I said, sheepishly. "I didn't know you'd be here."
Marie smiled. "Nor did I know you'd be here, either. "I just bought some new scrubs at Penny's. I was headed back to my car when I ran into Mom and this pretty young lady."
I put the tray of food on the table and sat next to Mae on the bench side of the table. "Mae Mae, this is my sister, Marie. I told you about her. Remember?"
Mae nodded as I opened the food boxes and handed Mae a spork with which to eat. She focused on the food and smiled at that, rather than at my sister.
I looked at Marie and smiled. She smiled back. "I was telling Mae how pretty her dress is. She told me she'd just gotten it at Old Navy."
I put an arm around my daughter-to-be and nodded to my sister. "Yes. We've gotten quite a few lovely dresses today, haven't we, Mae Mae?"
Mae nodded and sampled the food. "This is really good."
I rubbed her back. Yeah, I knew that there would be some tough times along the way, but so far, things seemed to be going really well. I decided right then and there that I would enjoy every little bit of good times I could get.
"Well," my sister stood and pushed her chair in, "I need to get going. I have to meet Hilda at six." She looked at my soon-to-be daughter and extended her hand. "It was very nice to meet you, Marie."
The girl looked up, stuck her spork into her mouth and took my sister's hand in hers. Of course, my sister's hand shake was a huge, comic affair that nearly wrenched the little girl's arm out of her socket, but it made her laugh.
"And you'll be coming by my house at some point over the weekend, right. I know Hilda is dying to meet you." Marie finally released Mae's hand.
"Whose Hilda?" Mae asked.
Rie smiled. "Hilda's my wife."
"You have a wife?" Mae said, astounded. I braced myself for what could, quite possibly be the first embarrassing situation of our life together.
Rie was typically unfazed, though. "I do. Her name is Hilda. She's very beautiful and she is very excited to meet you."
Mae smiled broadly. "Cool," she said, took her spork from her mouth and returned to her Japanese chicken over rice and vegetables.
Rie looked at me, smiled and raised her eye brows in approval. "See you at some point over the weekend, then." She bent and kissed Mom's cheek.
"Bye, darling," Mom smiled, constantly eyeing Mae. I could tell that any reservations she may have had about her joining our family were long gone.
Then Rie kissed my cheek and whispered, "Take it slow, mommy. She's wonderful, but I can already see that you're too attached to her."
I whispered back, "How can I be too attached to my daughter?"
Rie kissed my cheek again. "Just take it slow." She stood, smiled and left.
After dinner, Mom and I took Mae to a few more stores that specialized in children's clothing. We bought her some underwear, a couple of nighties and a fluffy robe. As with the dresses, Mae wanted bright patterns, mostly flowers. Apparently, Pam's taste in girl's clothing was much more subdued than Mae's.
I reveled in every bit of happiness that registered on Mae's face. It warmed me in ways I'd never experienced. Now, don't get me wrong, it wasn't the fact that I was spending money on fairly inexpensive clothing that made Mae happy, it was the fact that she was suddenly given the freedom to express herself through her clothing. She was in heaven and that pleased me in a vicarious way that I'd never experienced before.
When we got home, we found Mitch and Dad on Mom and Dad's front lawn. After a week of warmer weather, the snow had mostly melted and the grass was finally showing and just starting to turn green. They each had a golf club in their hands and they were practicing swings, chatting, but mostly just being a father and son enjoying their time together. I pulled into our driveway and went around to open Mae's door. At the same time, Mom pulled into her driveway, then into their garage.
"Hey, ladies!" Mitch called from across the street. "Did you have fun?"
"You want to go see Mitch?" I bent low and asked Mae, confidentially.
She nodded, enthusiastically.
"Ok," I said. "Take my hand while we cross the street."
When we reached the men, Mitch knelt and gave Mae a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "How's my favorite girl?" He asked, a big, handsome smile spreading across his face.
"Great!" My little girl beamed. "Do you like my dress? It's got flowers, just like Donnie's."
Mitch looked from Mae to me and smiled. "My goodness, you look like twins!"
Even Mae giggled at that.
Mitch stood and kissed me. "Did you have a good time?"
I nodded. "We had a great time," I said loudly. Then, more
confidentially,MK added, "We're going to have to have a little chat about this 'favorite girl' stuff, though."
Mitch laughed. "Let's be honest, Mae has been 'my favorite girl' longer than you have, but you are my favorite lady - without a doubt."
He hugged me and kissed me, again. Then he looked at Mae and said, "Mae Mae, this is my dad and he's been waiting all day to meet you."
Mae looked at Dad and smiled. She reached out her hand, as if to shake Dad's, but he shook his head and looked serious. "No, no, young lady. I am about to become your grandfather. You understand that, right."
Mae looked a bit stunned by his standoffish attitude, but she nodded and looked at Dad, trying to figure out what exactly was happening.
Dad knelt down on one knee and held his arms wide. "I have been waiting my whole life to meet you, Mae, and to give you the biggest hug you've ever had."
Mae's eyes sparkled with the joy that Dad was projecting. She stood still for a moment, assessing the situation, then she half-leapt forward and threw her arms around his neck. Dad embraced her tightly and stood with her in his arms. "Oh, my goodness!" He teased. "I wanted to give you the biggest hug ever, but you gave it to me!"
I could see the smiles on both of their faces and, I couldn't help it, I reached out and I patted the hair on my little girl's head and a few tears of joy rolled down my cheeks.
Mom touched my shoulder, surprising me, just a little. "Why don't we go take care of Mae's clothing and let her have some time with her father and grandfather?"
I agreed.
We carried all the bags up to the room we'd chosen for Mae. It was a sunny room with soft yellow paint on the wall. While we were at the mall, Mom had bought some lovely, lace curtains to make the room 'more feminine' for her granddaughter.
We worked together to hang all the perfect little dresses in the closet. There was something about how precious they all looked, hanging there side by side. I couldn't stop looking at them.
Eventually, I did though and Mom and I hung the new curtains. She was right. The curtains were just soft enough to transform what had moments ago looked like a spare room into a pretty, little girl's room.
Mom sat on the lovely, queen sized bed and tapped the mattress next to her, inviting me to sit. I did and Mom took my hands in hers and she smiled at me. "Donnie... you know that I had my reservations about you and Mitch adopting, but... that child is... wonderful. She's adorable, of course, but she is so smart and... well, I can tell by the way she looks at you... she wants to be your little girl."
I smiled and nodded. "That's what I want too, Mom."
Mom smiled. "Donnie... I was so very happy when you became my daughter in-law and... I just never thought I'd be a grandmother this soon after your wedding, but it is.... Wonderful. You are going to be a wonderful mother. I just know it. And if you need any help at all... babysitters, just someone to go pick up groceries when you get busy, someone to make you a good hot meal, if you need some money... someone to talk to, honey, whatever, please don't hesitate to come to me or Dad. We are here for you and Mitchell and that child. You understand what I'm saying?"
I did and I hugged her to let her know.
We picked up the wrappings from the curtains and the clothing, threw it into the waste basket and went back outside. We were both surprised to see Mom and Dad's yard was empty. We looked around and we saw Mitch and Dad coming down the sidewalk with Mae in between them, holding their hands in hers. Dad was talking and Mae was laughing out loud.
"Oh, look," Dad laughed, "there they are, now! Hi, girls! We just took a walk down the street to show this young lady the park."
"She says it's pretty cool," Mitch smiled.
I smiled and Mom and I walked up the street to meet them.
"It's getting a little cool out," Mom smiled. "I think we should get Mae inside."
"Ok," Dad smiled. He stopped and bent to look Mae right in the eyes. He poked her on the nose and smiled. "Who are you going to have breakfast with tomorrow?"
"You, Doc," Mae smiled.
"That's right," he smiled. "I'm going to make you the best waffles you ever ate." I laughed, both at the tone of Dad's voice and at the fact that he'd gotten Mae to call him 'Doc.'
"I don't think I've ever had waffles," Mae laughed as Dad ramped up the excitement, "so they're going to be the best I ever ate, anyway."
Dad laughed and whispered something to Mae, who looked at Mom and nodded. She let go of Dad's hand and ran over to Mom and hugged her. Mom hugged her back and said, "Good night, Mae. I guess I'll see you in the morning."
Mae smiled. "Doc said I should come over in my pajamas if I want."
"That will be fine, dear," Mom glanced at her husband, a bit irked, "but be sure that you wear a jacket and bring a robe."
"Ok," Mae smiled, then stretched up to kiss Mom's cheek. "Good night, Nana."
Mom shot her husband a look that would have wilted a field of corn! Dad just smiled and said, "Say good night to Mae, Nana."
Mom's look softened as she returned her gaze to her new granddaughter. "Good night, Mae Mae. Nana and Doc love you, very much."
"Really?" Mae looked at her surprised. "You guys love me?"
"Of course they do, Mae Mae," Mitch laughed. "You're a part of our family, now, Mae. And in this family, we're very big on telling each other we love each other."
Mae smiled. "Ok. I love you guys, too, then."
That seemed to soften Mom a bit.
We said our good nights and walked across the street with Mae walking between us, each of her hands holding one of each of ours. Behind me, I heard Mom say to Dad, "I suppose you think you're pretty funny, don't you? I am fifty four years old. I am not old enough to be called 'Nana,' for crying out loud."
Then I heard Dad chuckle. "Nana's a lovely name and you know it. Be glad I didn't tell her to call you 'Grandmama.'"
I looked over my shoulder and saw Mom elbow Dad in the ribs. "Doc? Seriously? That's what you want your granddaughter to call you? Doc?"
Dad laughed and waved. "Yep. And tomorrow we start working on her 'What's up, Doc?' delivery."
We got into our house and we showed Mae her bedroom. She seemed to like it, quite a bit. The best part for her, of course, was the thirty two inch, flat screen TV on the wall. "That is only for a little while before bedtime, Mae. It has a few local stations and Disney plus, but you can only watch it when we give you permission to watch it, ok?"
She nodded.
"Ok, bath time," I announced, feeling so much like a mother!
"I can take a shower by myself," Mae said, proudly. "I just need help drying my hair."
I pushed my copious hair off of my face and smiled. "Well, I can certainly help with that. I'll set the water temperature, then you can wash yourself. Make sure you rinse your hair well and I'll have your new nightie ready for you, ok?"
I went into the lavatory off of Mae's room and I got the water to a comfortable temperature. Then I called her in and told her to put the clothes she was wearing on the empty, wooden chair in the corner of the lavatory. "I'll be in your room when you need me."
Mae smiled as she hopped into the lav and within a few minutes, I could hear her in the shower. I sat on her bed, imagining what life with this child would be like - not just the happiest of times, like laughing with her new grandfather, but the struggles she still had to face and what Mitch and I would need to do to help her through those. I laid the little, purple nightie across my lap and felt the soft cotton material and thought about how much pain this little girl - my little girl - had already experienced and I vowed to make everything better for her from then on.
"I'm done!" A tiny voice called from the lavatory.
I got up and walked to the bathroom door. "Can I come in?" I asked.
"Yep," she called back, happily. "I'm brushing my teeth."
I opened the door to find Mae wrapped in a towel, brushing her teeth, but with soap suds still visible in her hair. I laughed as I said, "I don't think you got all of the shampoo out."
She turned her head to see her hair in the reflection. "Oops," she laughed.
When she'd finished brushing her teeth, I had her lean over the tub while I rinsed the remainder of the shampoo from her thick hair. "You have such nice, thick hair," I praised.
"Grammy says it's always messy, but then she says, "Messy hair, happy house."
I laughed. "Well, I don't know an awfully lot about taking care of hair, but maybe we could learn together. I do know how to braid pretty well, though. Maybe, after we dry your hair, I could braid it for you. Does that sound like a good start?"
"Ok," she said. It was a simple answer, but there seemed to be some sense of excitement there, too.
"Ok, we're done," I said as I stood, grabbed another towel and began to squeeze the excess water from her hair. After a few minutes of that, I wrapped yet another towel around her head in the fashion of a turban.
We walked out into her bedroom and I held up her new, purple nightie. "Is this ok?" I asked.
Mae just nodded and, much to my surprise, just dropped the towel she'd wrapped around her body and help up her arms for me to drop the nightie over her. "I like it," she smiled. "It's real soft."
I smiled and took her hand. "Come on to my room and we'll use my dryer. I'll get one for your bathroom tomorrow."
We walked across the hall and down two doors to the room I now shared with my husband. Then we passed through into our en suite lavatory. I pulled up a wooden chair over to the vanity and pulled my hair dryer out of my hair-basket. Then I grabbed a soft brush and went to work - and it was a lot of work, believe me. Mae's thick hair was not easy to dry, but it gave us time to chat about the little things. What TV shows she liked, what was her favorite food, music, clothes... everything.
When it was dry, I said, "Ok, I'm really only good at a simple braid, but I'll learn how to do more as time goes on, ok?"
She smiled and nodded, as I carefully separated her hair into three, even plaits and began to weave them together into a simple, yet pretty braid that reached about a third of the way down her back when I was done.
"There we go!" I smiled as I tightened a pink scrunchie to the end. "How do you like it?"
Mae stood on the wooden chair and looked at herself from several angles. "I like it. It's good."
I smiled at her response and then was surprised when she said, "Can I braid your hair? I'm pretty good at it. I did for Grammy sometimes."
"Oh," I blinked. "I'd love that, but, maybe I should put on my nightie before we do my hair for the night. What do you think?"
Mae nodded. "Can I pick out your nightie?"
I thought for a moment, but decided that there was no harm in that. I opened my closet to show her my selection of nighties - not a huge collection - and I was relieved when she chose a fairly conservative, silk sheath that had an aqua green background and a pattern of Japanese cherry blossoms on it. It was a nightie that I found very pretty, but it some how reminded me of an Arizona Ice Tea can.
I had Mae step out of the walk-in closet and I changed into the nightie. When I had a soft, long chenille robe on. I opened the door and let Mae help me hang-up the skirt I'd been wearing. I put the rest of what I'd worn into the hamper in the lavatory and we were ready for Mae to braid my hair.
As she went to work, our conversation picked up, again, only this time, Mae seemed to guide it instead of me.
"I like your bathrobe," she said. It was a pretty robe. The soft, light green chenille was thick and fluffy and there were large, playfully childish flowers all around the collar and cuffs. Certainly feminine, but not what I'd call sexy, in any way.
"Why thank you, Mae. I just bought it about a week ago. This is the first time I've worn it."
I was surprised when I felt Mae clip a hair clip into three different spots near the bottom of my head. She must have been keeping the plaits separated. It was an odd feeling, having those soft, little hands working my long hair, but I was really enjoying it.
Mae continued her thoughts. "It kind of looks like the robe I got today."
"I know," I replied. "Mom and I hung it up for you so you'd have it in the morning."
"Mom?" Mae looked around at me. "Aren't you my mom, now?"
I smiled to keep from crying. "I mean Mitch's mom. Nana."
"Oh," she accepted that.
There was a gap in the conversation, so I asked, "Do you like Nana and Doc?"
Her little hands were working hard. "They're nice. Doc is kind of like Mitch. He's real funny, like Mitch."
"He is, isn't he?" I laughed. "You know, Nana and Doc want to be a part of your new life, too. So do my sister, Marie, and her wife."
"I guess that's good," she said, which sounded so sincere and innocent that it made me chuckle a little. "Here," she said as she handed me a small, pink scrunchie, "can you put in the scrunchie? I can't make it tight enough." She brought the end of my braided hair around my right shoulder and held the ends tight so that I could take it from her and use the scrunchie to wrap up the end of the braid.
I turned and looked in the mirror and saw how well my little girl had braided my hair. "Mae Mae! That looks beautiful. Thank you!"
She smiled as she removed the three clips she'd placed at the base of the back of my head. She smiled proudly. "You're welcome."
"Well, it's about forty five minutes till bedtime. Would you like to watch a little TV?" I asked as I put the chair back in the corner. Mae nodded and we headed out into the hall. When I turned to head downstairs, though she stopped me and asked if we could watch TV in her room. I agreed, so we went in to Mae's room and we sat on her bed while she scrolled through her options.
She chose the Disney animated film 'The Little Mermaid,' which, to be honest, I had seen quite a bit as a boy. No father, three sisters... princess movies were always on.
We started watching the movie with Mae sitting on the left side of the bed and me on the right, but as Prince Eric wooed the beautiful, yet mute, Arielle, Marie inched her way closer to me until her little head was laying against my breasts.
I patted her braided hair and breathed in her scent and, once again wondered, possibly for the millionth time since my wedding, if life could possibly be any better.
"Why did she have to give up her voice, though?" Mae asked out of the blue.
"Because in these stories, the person in love always has to give up something. Arielle gives up her voice, Belle gives up her freedom, Repunzel had to conquer her fear of being out of her tower... there's always a catch." I kept patting her hair.
After a moment or two, Mae asked, "Would you give up something important to you for Mitch?"
Now, if Rie had been there, there would have been no way that I could have stopped her from drawing parallels between my life and the movie Mulan, but Rie wasn't there, thank goodness, so I just said, "Of course."
"Because you love him?"
I smiled. "I love him very much, Mae Mae. Very, very much."
She seemed satisfied with that answer for a moment, then asked, "Does Mitch love you?"
I nodded. "Of course he does."
She laid there quietly again, but I could tell that the wheels were turning in the brain of hers. "How do you know?"
I sighed. "Mitch tells me he loves me a thousand times a day. He tells me with words, and touches and smiles and the things he does for me. I've never doubted that Mitch loved me."
"So..." she left a gap to think, "... when Mitch hugs me and kisses my cheek... is he saying he loves me?"
"Yes, baby," I said, quietly and I kissed her braids. "That's what he's saying. Mitch loves you, very much, too. Mitch has a great talent for loving people."
It was getting later and her eye lids were getting heavy. Her voice was getting a little thicker, too, as she relaxed and prepared for sleep.
"So you love me?" She asked in the smallest, most tentative voice I'd ever heard.
"I do."
She dropped her head into my lap and rolled to look up at me. "How do you know? We just met this week."
"Mae Mae," I looked down at her and cradled her upper body in my lap, "the very first time that Mitch told me about you... the very first time I looked at your picture... I knew that I loved you and every second I spend with you makes me love you even more."
She smiled up at me and her eyes fluttered.
"But now," I said, quietly, "I think it's time for you to go to sleep. Doc expects you for breakfast in the morning."
"But the movie..."
"We'll finish it tomorrow." I stood and maneuvered Mae so that she was laying correctly, with her head on a pillow. I tucked her in tightly and kissed her forehead. "Good night, Mae. Mitch and I love you."
I walked to the door and shut off the light, leaving only the nightlight in the bathroom. I stopped and I looked at this amazing miracle that was my new little girl and I didn't know quite what to do. I wanted to go back and hug her, again. I wanted to crawl into bed and hold her all night. I wanted to just stand there and look at her forever. I was just overwhelmed with what I was feeling, but then I heard a tiny, tired voice.
"Donnie?"
"Yes, Mae Mae?"
"You're very nice."
"Thank you, honey. You are, too."
"Thank you for my dresses. I really like them."
"You're very welcome, Mae. Now, get some sleep."
I turned to go, but she spoke again. "Donnie?"
"Yes, Mae Mae?"
I stood there in semi darkness and listened to her breath. After a few moments, I suspected that she had fallen asleep, so, once again, I turned to leave.
And that's when it happened. That's when, like The Grinch, my heart grow three sizes that day when I heard her tiny, tired voice say, "I love you."
"I love you, too, baby," I said, quietly, as I pulled the door nearly closed and wiped the tears of joy from my face.
I went downstairs where I found Mitch sitting and watching an old war movie. "Hey," he smiled, "everything ok? I looked in on you a while ago and you both seemed so content, I didn't want to interrupt."
I nodded. "Everything is wonderful, Mitch. She's... she's..." I couldn't find words. "She said she loved me."
Mitch stood and hugged me. "Of course she loves you, honey. How could she not?"
I guffawed at that. "Mitch... I can't believe that a child this wonderful is ours to raise. And Mom and Dad... they seem so happy to have her, too..." I fell against his chest and cried.
"Hey, hey," Mitch laughed. "Everything is good, right? There's no reason to cry."
"I know," I gulped between sobs.
"So, can I ask you a question?" Mitch asked.
I nodded.
"When did you buy June Cleaver's bathrobe?" He half laughed at his own, silly question.
I leaned back and feigned shock. "You don't like it? I thinks it's beautiful."
Mitch smiled. "I'm just teasing, but it is a little..."
"Motherly?" I asked, daring him to agree.
"Old fashioned," he laughed.
I stepped back. "I guess I'm just an old fashioned girl. At least, that's. What I've been told."
Mitch laughed and touched the raised cords on the chenille robe. "Wow. Soft."
"I know, right?" I laughed. "And it's warm, too."
We probably would have headed upstairs at that point, maybe even gotten a little frisky, but Mitch's phone rang. He looked at it and smiled. "It's Pam. Probably just checking up on Mae."
He accepted the call and said, "Hi, Pam... what?... When?.... Jesus. Is she conscious?..." Mitch sat and held his forehead in his free hand. "How long?... Ok... Ok... I'll be there within a half an hour. Bye."
"Evelyn?" I asked.
He nodded. "It doesn't look good. Look, honey. They had to rush her to the hospital. I need to go to the hospital. Pam and I are about the only thing close to family she has anymore. I'll call in the morning... what are you doing?"
I'd already picked up Mitch's phone and pressed a contact.
"Mitch? Is everything alright?" I heard Dad ask.
"Dad, it's Donnie. It's Mae's great grandmother. They took her to the hospital and things don't look good. Can we bring Mae over there so we can go to the hospital?"
Mitch stood, "Donnie, you don't need to..." but I held up my finger to quiet him.
"No, sweetheart," Dad said in a quiet, rehearsed, bedside manner voice. "Let Mae sleep. I'll be right over. I'll sleep in one of the other guest rooms. Let me talk to Mitch."
I handed the phone to Mitch, who said, "Dad, there's no reason for Donnie... Yes, I know, but... Dad, I don't want to inconvenience you or Mom..."
There was a knock on the front door. Mitch and I looked at each other, then I crossed the room and opened it. Mom pushed past me with Dad right behind her, his phone still to his ear. "Go get changed, Dear." Mom said to me. "Mitchell, warm up the car. It's chilly out and I don't want Donnie catching a cold."
"Mom, Dad..." Mitch started to speak, but Dad stopped him.
"Family, Mitchell. We'll take care of our granddaughter. You go take care of her great grandmother."
Mitch nodded as I ran quietly up the stairs, as quickly as I could and pulled on a casual, warm, red flannel dress and a pair of shoes. The dress looked very much like A very long, men's flannel shirt in a red and black Buffalo plaid. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, Mom was waiting, holding open a jacket and my purse was hanging from her wrist.
"Thank you, so much," I said in a hurried voice. "Mae's asleep. She's very excited about waffles tomorrow morning."
"Don't worry," Dad smiled. "Old Doc won't let her down."
Mom looked at me and shook her head. "'Doc.' Can you believe him? He's worse than a child himself. Go on, now, dear. Mitch is waiting."
I kissed them both and hustled out to the car. The moment the door was closed, Mitch put the car in gear and we were off.
Just a few years prior to that night, my mother passed away in the nicest hospice room that Marie and I could afford for her. It still was a bit clinical, but at least it was a bright, warm room.
On this night, when we walked into Evelyn's private hospital suite, my heart sank. It was a cold, loveless hospital room with a small, frail, frightened old lady laying in the middle of it. I don't care how 'ready to go' you are, or how much faith you have, when you're facing your final hours, fear and pain are the only emotions you can process.
Pam was standing to the side of the room, looking lost in sadness. We glanced at her as we entered and she just shook her head.
Mitch hurried to the old woman's side and sat.
Evelyn looked at Mitch and gave him a sad, resigned smile. "Mitchell. Is my baby ok?"
"She's fine, Evie," Mitch assured her. "My parents are with her."
Evie nodded, weakly. "Tell her I love her, Mitch."
I moved to the other side of the bed. "Tell her yourself, Evie. Just hold on and we'll bring her to see you in the morning."
Evie shook her head. "I didn't think so, Donnie, but thank you. The doctors say I just have a few hours. Just tell her I love her. Tell her everyday. Please."
I hardly knew this woman and at that moment, all I wanted was to help her. To make her passing easier.
But all we could do was sit and wait with her. Wait for her to die.
For the next six hours, Evie slept, woke, cried, talked about her life, pushed the morphine drip, slept, woke, cried, etc. It was sad, but something we all will face at some point and something I'd experienced vicariously already with my mother.
We all sat near the bed, taking turns holding her hand. At one point, while I was holding her, she opened her eyes and looked at me, as if evaluating me, trying to figure out who I was. "Are you ok, Evie?" I asked.
She smiled and said in a very weak voice, "You're an angel."
I returned her smile. "No, Evie. I'm Dawn. Mitch's wife."
She gripped my hand tighter and said, "I know. You're my angel. My angel. My..." and she slipped away, again.
I was very nervous about living up to my promise of having Mae coming to say goodbye to her Grammy the next morning. I had just kind of said that to give Evelyn something to hold on for. I mean, I knew that it was something that would make letting go easier for Evelyn, but was it the right thing for Mae. I was still struggling with this when, at just after five thirty in the morning, Evelyn's heart rate monitor went from a steady beat to one steady pitch and doctors and nurses burst into the room, pushing us to the side. They tried for several minutes to resuscitate the poor old thing, but there was nothing to be done.
She was gone.
Mitch had to stay to work with Pam and the hospital administration. I guess there is always a lot of paperwork when someone dies, but it's complicated considerably when the deceased is a wealthy woman and her only heir is a child. Mitch offered to call me a cab, but I stayed there. Pam was having a hard time dealing with things and I didn't want to leave her the way that she was.
At nine thirty the next morning, I called my in-laws and checked on Marie.
"She's doing fine, honey," Mom assured me. "We brought her over to our place for breakfast. We told her that her Grammy was in the hospital. We don't want to break the news to her without you and Mitch being here. By the way, she loves waffles. Dad made her three. He even gave her a lesson on how to use the waffle iron."
"Oh, Lord," I laughed, imagining that little girl devouring three waffles, but my laughter disappeared pretty quickly. "Mom... can I talk to Dad for a minute?"
"Of course, dear," Mom said, understandingly. "Let me get him. I stepped into the great room when you called so that I could speak. Hang on, and... Donnie... I'm so sorry."
I sniffled a bit. "Thank you, Mom, but... I really didn't know her that well."
Mom was quiet for a moment. "I know. I'm sorry that you have to tell Marie, though. If you want us to be there with you, we will."
Suddenly, I realized I was shaking. I was genuinely afraid that I might do this horrible thing wrong and hurt Mae.
A moment or two later, Dad was on the phone. "Hi, sweetheart. How are you doing?"
"I'm a little scared, Dad," I said, honestly.
"She's gone, Donnie. There's nothing more to be afraid of. Her pain is over, now." Dad had the rehearsed, but comforting voice of someone who'd been through this kind of thing many times.
"Dad..." I had to ask, but I felt like a child doing so, and my shakes turned into sobs as I spoke. "How do I tell Mae that her Grammy is gone? I don't want to hurt her... I've only just gotten her.... What am I going to say?" I could barely speak through the sobbing, now.
"It's ok, Donnie, it's ok," Dad said, calmly. "Take a breath and get control of your breathing, honey. That's it, honey. Deep breaths. Are you ok, now?"
"Yeah," I sniffled. "I'm ok."
"Good," Dad said in a soft voice. "Good. Donnie... everyone dies and everyone has to deal with someone they love dying. There is no avoiding in, honey, and there's no easy way to tell a child, but... Donnie... Mae knows that Evelyn was very ill. We were talking this morning as we made waffles and she was very aware of Evelyn's age, her illness, her frailty and she even told me that Evelyn would be going to heaven soon."
I had to struggle to keep my breathing steady. The poor baby had been through so much already. This was so unfair. "So... what do I say?"
Dad sighed. "All I can tell you, dear, is... don't beat around the bush. Tell her how much you care for her and remind her that she's not alone, then, as painlessly as possible, tell her that Evelyn is gone."
"Ok," I gasped. "Ok. I guess I can do that."
"And Donnie... don't be surprised if her reaction isn't what you'd expect it to be. She will understand, but... she won't. She's still very young, Donnie. Just tell her and hold her. You've got to be her mom, now. That's what she needs."
I guess I was silent for too long, because Dad's quiet voice came through the phone, "Donnie? Are you ok?"
"I am, Dad. Thank you."
It wasn't too much longer before Mitch and Pam were done and we were headed home. My heart was beating very hard as we approached our driveway.
"Are you ok?" I asked Mitch.
He forced a smile. "I... will be. She was an old, old friend, honey. Not just a client. I'm going to miss her, but... now we need to focus on Mae."
I squeezed his hand. "I know. We can do this, together."
Mitch kissed my hand. "Ok. Let's do it."
We walked across to Mom and Dad's house and Mae, who must have seen us coming, pulled the door open for us. "Hi," she said, in a very concerned voice.
"Hi, Mae," I said, as I knelt and hugged her.
"Grammy's gone, isn't she?" Mae said, very sadly.
I hugged her more tightly. "Yea, honey. She is. I'm sorry."
Dad was right. Marie didn't cry or carry on, or even shut down. She returned me hug and said, "She told me."
Slowly, I released her from my hug and looked at her. She was sad, but looked right into my eyes, as if checking to see if I was alright.
"Who told you, Mae Mae? Did Nana tell you?" Mitch asked, patting her still braided hair.
Mae shook her head. "Grammy told me."
By now, Mom and Dad were with us. "Let's sit down," Dad said in that calm voice.
Mitch and I left our coats on a chair and we sat on the couch with Mae in between us. I placed an arm around Mae's shoulder and leaned in to kiss her temple. "Did Grammy say goodbye to you before you left for school yesterday?"
Mae shook her head. "No. She was with the doctor. I had to leave before they were done."
"So..." Mitch leaned and kissed the tiny hand he held in his, "...when did she tell you?"
Mae turned and looked up at Mitch. Her eyes were wide and sincere. "Last night. I woke up. It was still dark and Grammy was there. She told me she loved me, but she had to go. Then she was gone."
"Oh, good God," Mom whispered as she clutched her throat.
Dad gave Mom an understanding look, but shook his head. Then he stood, took a few steps across to us and knelt in front of Marie. He put his hands over mine and Mitch's, taking Mae's hands into his grasp as well. "Mae Mae," he smiled, lovingly, "you understand what we mean when we say that your Grammy is gone, right?"
"Yes," she nodded. "She's... dead now. She's in Heaven with Uncle Will."
Dad smiled. "That's right, Mae Mae. How do you feel about that?"
"I don't know," Mae looked around. "I'll miss her, I guess."
"Ok, then Mae," Dad smiled. "Tell you what... We all know that Grammy loved you and that's why she came to say goodbye to you last night." Mom tried to interrupt, but Dad shook her off, again, never taking his eyes off of the child. "Mae Mae... if you want to talk about Grammy, then you can talk to any of us, ok? But for now, we just want you to know that we all love you and we will take care of you. Ok?"
Mae smiled and nodded. "Ok."
Dad smiled. "Now, tell Mitch and Donnie about your breakfast."
Her smile broadened and she looked at Mitch. "Doc taught me how to make waffles! Do you want one?"
"A waffle?" Mitch's eyes grew wide in fake enthusiasm. "Are you kidding!? Waffles are my favorite! Come on. Show me how to make them."
"Ok," Mae bounded off of the couch and pulled Mitch with her. They disappeared into the kitchen.
Dad was still knelling, watching them go. I touched his shoulder. "Thank you."
He half-stood and kissed my cheek. "It's just a start, sweetheart. She's going to need her mother, now. Just keep telling her how much you love her, don't dwell on Evelyn's passing. She's doing great, right now, but... she will mourn, Donnie. It's just going to take some time."
"Is that all we're going to say to her?" Mom asked, shocked and struggling to not yell. "Her great grandmother just died and we're going to let her believe in ghosts?"
"Why not?" Dad smiled, then kissed Mom's cheek. "There are more things in Heaven and earth, my love, then are dreamt of in our philosophy." Mom shook her head, but Dad patted her shoulder and spoke with more love in his voice than I thought possible. "She's a baby, honey. She's our baby's baby. We don't need to make her fully realize all the horrors of the world right now. Her Grammy said goodbye to her and that gave her comfort. Let's let that be enough for now, ok?"
Mom stood and straightened her dress. She looked at me and shook her head. Than she looked at Dad and all of her dismay about the situation seemed to vanish. "Ok." She took a deep breath and called to the kitchen. "Do not touch that waffle iron, Mae Mae. Remember, it's hot! I'll come mix some batter." She looked at Dad, smiled in spite of herself, touched his cheek and hurried into the kitchen.
Dad turned and offered me his hand. I stood and looked at him in awe. "Not so bad, right?" He asked.
I hugged him, tightly. "Thank you, Dad."
He hugged me back, "Anything for my little girls." He kissed my forehead and winked at me. "I love both of you."
I smiled. "Mitch too?"
He made a big show of shrugging. "Well... he's not so bad, either." We both laughed and he put and arm around me and guided me towards the kitchen. "I hope you're hungry. Your daughter makes a mean waffle."
By early afternoon, we were headed home. Mom and I had discussed where to go to get a nice dress for Mae to wear to Evelyn's funeral, which was planned for Tuesday morning at a local church. Evie had requested no calling hours, which was actually a good thing as far as Mae was concerned. I told Mom that I was going to put off taking Mae shopping until the next day, Sunday. I just couldn't face it right then.
"I could really use a nap," Mitch said as he took Mae's coat and mine to hang in the hall closet. "How about you?"
I gave him a hug and a smile. "Go ahead. You've worked hard. I'm going to get Mae dressed and I think we'll walk over to my sister's house."
Mitch raised his eyebrows. "Really? Do you really feel up to that?"
I shrugged. "Mae's been waiting for us all morning and I promised Rie I'd come by. It's pretty warm out... I think a nice walk will be a perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon with my little girl."
Mae picked out one of the flowery dresses we'd just bought her. She was so proud of picking out her own dress and shoes. I brushed out her braids, leaving beautiful waves in her hair, and I put a lovely, flowered bow in her hair, too. I know that people will say that dressing a little girl is like having a living doll, but it's not. It's like have a daughter. That's what it's like. Like having a smart, funny, beautiful daughter who just filled my heart with so much joy.
I changed into a clean dress, which, coincidentally, had a very similar flowered pattern to Mae's. We kissed Mitch goodbye and set out for the one and a half block walk to my sister's house. It took about ten minutes to get there and when we got there, we found Rie unloading groceries from the back of her car.
"Well, hi there, Mae!" Rie sang to her. "You came to visit! That's wonderful!"
Mae smiled broadly. "Hi, Aunty Rie."
My sister looked at me in surprise, then back to Mae. I could tell that she liked Mae calling her that. She handed Mae a paper sack filled with a couple of loaves of bread and some grapes. "Here, Mae, can you help me carry these in?"
Mae was thrilled to be of use.
We walked up the few steps that led to Marie's front door and walked inside, each of us carrying a bag.
"Hilda!?" Rie called from the kitchen. "Hilda! We have company!"
As Rie and I put away the groceries, Hilda walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh, my! Is this my new niece, Marie?"
Mae seemed a little taken aback by Hilda's accent.
Marie rubbed Mae's back and said, "Don't be scared, honey. She only sounds like a Nazi. She's really very nice."
Mae looked from my sister to my sister-in-law to me and asked, "What's a Nazi?"
I laughed and said, "Don't mind your Auntie Rie, Mae. She thinks she's a lot funnier than she really is."
Rie looked at me and scowled. "You wish you were as funny as me."
Hilda, however, ignored both of us and knelt down in front of Mae and offered her her right hand. "Hello, meine leibe," she smiled. I am your Tante Hilda. I am very happy to meet you."
I stopped unpacking groceries to look at Hilda. She was looking at Mae with such wonder in her eyes. When Mae took her hand and gave it a little shake. "It's very nice to meet you, Tante Hilda," I thought my tough as nails sister-in-law was going to cry.
Hilda bit her quivering lower lip. Recently, I'd been quite surprised at how emotional my formal, Germanic sister-in-law could be, but right now, I wasn't at all sure what I was seeing. Hilda was so emotional at meeting Mae, that I think, maybe, just as it had happened with me, Hilda's maternal instincts had suddenly kicked in with unexpected force.
"It is very, very nice to meet you, too, Marie."
I'd expected Mae to correct Hilda because I knew that she didn't like to be called Marie, but instead I heard her giggle. "I like how you say my name. The way you say the 'R' is really pretty."
Hilda smiled and laughed as she stood. "Is it? Come... let me show you the house while your mom and Auntie Rie put away the groceries."
Mae giggled and took Hilda's hand and they walked out of the kitchen.
"That woman can find more ways of avoiding work than anyone else I've ever met," Rie shook her head as I laughed and continued to put away the groceries.
Rie looked at me and asked, "Was the first night a rough one? You look tired."
I shook my head. "It was rough, but not because of Mae. Her great grandmother passed away. Mitch and I were at the hospital all night."
Rie looked back at the way that Hilda and Mae had disappeared. "You didn't take her with you to the hospital, did you?"
"No, Mom and Dad came over." I went on to tell Rie about how dad had given himself and Mom nicknames for Mae to use. Rie laughed hard at that. I think Rie and Dad actually shared a lot of their senses of humor. It was interesting to compare their jokes. I knew that they were going to be good friends as soon as they got to know each other.
Once the groceries were put away, we looked around downstairs for Hilda and Mae, but they were no where to be found. We went upstairs and found them in the rear bedroom, a room that Hilda used as a workspace. They were seated on a bench in the middle of the room, deep in conversation.
"I like this color," Mae was saying, looking at an iPad.
"I do too," Hilda said. "It's very pretty. We'll paint these three walls that color, but the wall behind the bed... that should be darker. Which of these do you like?"
"What's going on?" Rie asked.
Hilda put her arm around Mae and smiled. "My favorite niece and I are picking out the colors for her bedroom.
Rie looked around at all of Hilda's drawings, notes and photos. "I thought we were doing the other bedroom over for Mae."
"I'll take that one," Hilda said, without looking up. "This room is bigger and quieter. It will be better for her."
Rie looked at me with incredulity. "Remember when she was the manly one?"
I laughed as Mae looked at me with a very happy smile. "Donnie, Tante Hilda says that I'm going to have my own room here for whenever I need it. Doc told me the same thing. I'm going to have three bedrooms! Is that great!?"
I laughed. "It sure is, honey. So, I guess you two are getting along pretty well?"
"We are indeed," Hilda said in that stiff style of hers. Then she looked at Mae and said, "Remember, your Tante Hilda is here if you need her." She leaned in and whispered into Mae's ear, but loud enough for us to hear. "When mommy and daddy say 'no,' you tell Tante. She'll get you what you want."
"Hey!" I laughed. "Enough of that! If mommy and daddy say 'no,' then the answer is 'no.'"
Hilda looked at Mae and winked. "You call Tante."
When we finally made it home, around five thirty, Mitch had made spaghetti and meatballs for us.
"So," Mitch asked as he spooned some sauce onto Mae's plate, "did you have a good time with Auntie Rie and Auntie Hilda?"
Mae took a sip of her water and nodded. "'Tante' Hilda," she corrected. "She's nice, but she talks funny."
"That's because she grew up speaking German," I explained.
"Auntie Rie says Tante is a Nazi." Mae said innocently.
Mitch's fork stopped midway to his mouth. He looked at me and said, "Did we discuss what that means?"
I smiled. "No. We discussed Auntie Rie's terrible sense of humor."
Mitch cleared his throat. "Mae Mae, that's not a nice thing to say. So, let's not ever call Tante Hilda that word again, ok?"
"But Auntie Rie called her that like three times." Mae was confused.
"Honey," I said, "That's a private joke between Auntie Rie and Tante Hilda. Let's just let them have that joke and we won't ever say that, ok?"
Mae shrugged. "Ok."
"So, what's the plan for tomorrow?" Mitch asked, changing the subject.
I reached over and squeezed Mae's hand. "We need to get Mae a dress to wear to the funeral. So, we're going shopping."
Mitch nodded and chewed. "How about you? Do you need a dress?"
I smiled. "Rie had me get a nice, little black dress before we went to Hawaii. I'm all set."
"Ok," Mitch nodded, "but if you see something you like, get it."
I smiled. "Ok."
"May I be excused?" Mae asked, wiping her mouth with a paper napkin.
"Do you have someplace to be?" Mitch asked with a laugh.
She smiled. "I want to see the end of 'The Little Mermaid.'"
"Well," I said, sounding far too maternal for someone who'd been a mother for such a short time, "you need to take a shower, first. Then I'll help you get ready for bed, ok?"
"Ok," Mae smiled, and turned to head upstairs.
"I put a shower cap on your sink," I called to her. "Put it on and tuck all of your hair into it. You don't need to shampoo your hair tonight."
She had reached the stairs and started up, "Ok!"
"And brush your teeth!" I called as I heard her footsteps on the floor above me.
"Ok!" Her little voice called back.
I turned to Mitch, who was looking at me, smiling. "What?" I asked.
"Nothing... mommy," he laughed.
"Well, someone has to be," I laughed as I gathered the dirty dishes from the table and head for the sink to rinse them off and load them into the washer. "And not to sound like an egomaniac, but I look better in a dress than you do. So, I should probably continue to be the mommy."
Mitch stood and grabbed the remaining plates, came up behind me and kissed the back of my head. "You sure do."
Mitch loaded, while I rinsed, and after a few moments he asked, "You don't mind bringing Mae dress shopping do you?"
"Why, do you want to do it?" I asked.
He laughed and he said, "No, I do not, but... it must be kind of a dull way to spend an afternoon."
I shut off the water and handed Mitch the last dish. "Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell. Shopping for dresses isn't like running into Brooks Brothers for YET ANOTHER grey suit or another plain shirt. No matter the reason, a dress is an expression of the woman wearing it, even if that woman is only eight years old. I cannot think of a more exciting way to spend time with my new daughter then taking her dress shopping."
Mitch laughed. "Ok. Is Mom coming with you?"
"Of course," I smiled. "I am her favorite daughter-in-law, you know, and Mae is her favorite granddaughter. She's kind of in Heaven, having female... well, feminine... family members, all of a sudden."
He closed the washer door and stood facing me. "I know. She's told me about a billion times. She doesn't even mind being called 'Nana,' anymore."
We finished up in the kitchen and I went upstairs. I went to my lavatory, removed my makeup, washed, moisturized, brushed my hair, put it into a loose ponytail, put on a pretty nightie for Mitch's sake, followed by my long, warm chenille robe, then headed into Mae's room. When I arrived, her bathroom door was open and she was brushing her teeth, wrapped in a fluffy, warm, white towel.
Within a few minutes, Mae was in her warm nightgown and her own chenille robe, and I was braiding her hair while Sebastian the Crab tried to get Prince Eric to say that he loved Arielle. We sat on her bed, cuddled together, and by the time Sebastian was trying to stay out of the chef's stew pot, Mae was asleep on my lap.
I'm not sure how much later it was that I felt myself being carried. The feeling was so unusual that I shook myself awake to find Mitch carrying me, across-the-threshold-style, into our bedroom.
"What are you doing?" I asked, giggling a little.
"Shh," he smiled as he gently placed me on our bed. He kissed my forehead and said, "I'll be out of the lav in a minute."
The moment the bathroom door closed, I got up and hustled back into Mae's room to be sure she was tucked in and asleep. I kissed her cheek and whispered, "Mitch and Donnie love you," then hustled back to our bedroom, took off my robe and slid under the covers, seconds before Mitch reappeared.
"You must be exhausted," Mitch said, as he rolled to face me and pulled me into a warm hug.
"Tired, but happy to be with you." I smiled back.
"And all this stuff... Mae Mae and Evie... You're doing ok with it?" He stroked my hair and cheek as he asked.
I gave him a kiss. "I feel terrible about Evelyn, but I think she was as ready to go as anyone ever has been. Even though I didn't know her very well, I will be forever grateful to her for giving us Mae."
He gave me a return kiss. "She loves, you, you know. Mae Mae, I mean. I can see it by the way she looks at you."
That made me smile. "I hope so. I certainly feel very close to her already."
He began kissing my neck. "You are going to be a great mom."
God, I hoped he was right.
To Be Continued...
Hawaiian Retreat - 12 Final
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Author's Note: Please, leave me a comment. I would like to know how this story has touched you. ~Clara.
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 12 Final has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.
Chapter 12
Mitch gave me a kiss. "She loves, you, you know. Mae Mae, I mean. I can see it by the way she looks at you."
That made me smile. "I hope so. I certainly feel very close to her already."
He began kissing my neck. "You are going to be a great mom."
God, I hoped he was right.
For me, Sunday began with a nice, warm shower and some badly needed maintenance - mostly body hair maintenance. I still had some places that insisted that I was still a male. I spent a little more time on my hair than I had for a while, using the curling iron to put a bit of body into my long mane. Then, feeling distinctly motherly, I picked out a pretty, floppy bow to hold my hair in a high pony tail.
I put on a full slip and the same mid-length, A-line tartan plaid wool skirt that I wore on my first date with Mitch. To remind you of how pretty this skirt was, while the front of the skirt was a smooth, flat piece of material from the waist to the hem, the sides and the back of the skirt fell in loose folds of extra material. It had a sense of classic elegance that I loved.
I paired that with with a black, long sleeved, cashmere sweater and I went to get Mae ready for shopping.
She was still sleeping when I entered her room.
"Mae," I sang, softly. "Mae Mae, honey, it's time to wake up."
She blinked her long eye lashes at me. "What time is it?"
I smiled. "Nine thirty, honey. Come on. Nana's going to come over at eleven. We need to get you ready."
She smiled as she remembered that she was going shopping, again. She sat up on the edge of the bed and looked at me, a little confused. I saw her confusion and asked, "Is something wrong?"
She looked a little disappointed and shook her head.
"Well, something is obviously bothering you, honey. What is it?" I prodded.
She shrugged. "It's just... you're not wearing flowers."
I blinked and looked at my outfit. "Don't you like this?"
Another shrug. "It's pretty, but..."
She just stopped. "But... what?"
Yet another shrug. "But I don't have anything to match that."
It took me a second to process. "Oh... you want us to match?"
She nodded, a little sad.
I smiled. "Ok, baby, I'll tell you what. Let's get you dressed and ready to go, then we'll take a look in my closet and we'll find a dress that matches yours, ok?"
Mae smiled. "Ok." She jumped up and headed for the bathroom. "And I'm not a baby." She closed the door behind her as she entered the lavatory.
I started straightening out the sheets and blankets on Mae's bed. "I know, honey. I'm sorry. I just meant it as a term of endearment."
"A what?" She called back, obviously not understanding.
"Never mind!" I called back and laughed.
When Mae was dressed in a short sleeved, dark blue dress with a pretty, white flower print, as well as a pretty, white cardigan sweater to keep her arms warm, we went into my room and looked through the walk-in closet. Mae was fascinated with all of my very fancy clothes that Marie and I had bought for Hawaii.
"Wow," she gushed as she touched the soft materials, "these are so pretty."
I smiled at her. "They are, but those are for special occasions. My regular dresses are here. Do you see any that look like yours?"
She squinted and made a thoughtful movement with her jaw. "I guess this one is the closest."
I took the hanger holding the dress off of the closet pole and showed it to Mae. "I think you're right. Dark blue with white flowers." I took the dress off the hanger and suggested that Mae step back into the bedroom so that I could change. I closed the door behind her and hung up the clothes that I had been wearing and stepped into the newly chosen dress. Once I'd zipped it up, I took a moment to locate my plain, white cardigan and I slipped that on as well.
When I stepped out of the closet and asked Mae if I looked better. She smiled broadly and nodded. "A lot better."
We found Mitch downstairs, doing some work on the dining room table. "Well, look at you two!" He smiled as he stood and came around the table to hug both of us. First a kiss on my cheek and a nice hug, then he knelt and hugged Mae and kissed her forehead. "Like two peas in a pod, huh? You both look beautiful."
"We match," Mae smiled and bounced.
"You do!" Mitch laughed back. "And you're both beautiful." He kissed her on the cheek this time then stood, still smiling.
"Your working on a Sunday?" I asked, not too judgmentally, I hoped, but curious.
Mitch nodded. "I'm working on some paperwork for us. To finalize things." He smiled snd glanced at Mae to indicate to me that these papers were regarding our adoption of Mae.
I nodded and was about to go through our expected schedule for the day when our back doorbell rang. Both Mitch and I looked surprised. "I wonder who that could be?" I muttered.
Mitch headed in the direction of the back door, "I don't know. That's the first time since I bought this house anyone has ever rung that bell."
I don't know why, but I was actually a bit nervous about who it could be. Maybe it was the fact that there were adoption related paperwork on the table in front of me, or just the fact that someone at the back door was unusual, but I tensed right up and became immediately scared that someone was coming to take my daughter away from me.
"Hi!" I heard Mitch say, in a friendly voice. "Why on earth did you walk all the way around to the back door?"
I breathed more easily when I heard an Austrian accent reply, "I... I wasn't sure which you preferred. I've only been here the one time before."
I bent and said to Mae, "It's Tante Hilda. Go say 'hi.'"
"Ok," she smiled and ran, full throttle, out into the kitchen.
I was about to follow, but I heard a knock on the front door, which I recognized as Mom's knock. "Come on in, Mom!" I called to the door.
"Good morning," Mom looked lovely, as usual, as she came in. "I noticed a car in the driveway. I'm not interrupting, am I?"
I gave her a welcoming hug and explained that Hilda had just arrived and we both went into the kitchen.
Hilda saw me and smiled, but... how should I explain this... Hilda and I had always, kind of, met each other on Hilda's terms. Rie was comfortable coming into my house unannounced and I was comfortable going into their house unannounced. That morning, Hilda seemed... well... uncomfortable. As if she felt that her presence might be an inconvenience or something. She was still standing as straight and tall as always, but she was... as I said... uncomfortable.
"I brought..." she almost stuttered, "... I mean I made... this for the child... for little Marie... Mae." She held up a plate with a beautifully made chocolate cake on it. "It is a Sachertorte. Chocolate sponge cake with thin layers of apricot jam between the layers and chocolate frosting. It is a treat in my country. I... made it... for Mae."
She almost looked ready to cry. I think that showing us her vulnerability was very difficult for her.
"Oh, Hilda!" I crossed the kitchen and took the cake from her and placed it on the counter. "It's beautiful! Thank you, so much!" Then I turned to Mae and said, "Did you hear that, honey? Tante made this for you. What do you say?"
Mae was a little overwhelmed by the awkwardness of the situation, but she smiled broadly and hugged Hilda, jamming her head into Hilda's stomach. "Thank you, Tante Hilda."
"You are very welcome, schön kind," Hilda's face brightened as she returned Mae's hug.
I explained that Mom and I were about to take Mae shopping for a dress for the funeral and invited my sister-in-law to join us. She declined, saying that she had a lot to get ready for a job on Wednesday.
Mom then said something that none of us had really thought about. "What about tomorrow? Is Mae going to her old school?"
Mitch and I looked at each other. Wow! How could we have not thought about that, right!?
I looked at Mae, "Honey... do you want to go to your school one more time and say goodbye to your friends?"
Mae looked confused. "I thought I was going to go to your school."
Mitch said, "Well, yes, you are, Mae Mae, but... well... everything just happened a lot quicker than we expected. Donnie will have to enroll you tomorrow, then, well, the funeral is Tuesday, so, if you feel up to going to school on Wednesday, you could start at her school then. We just hadn't considered what we'd do tomorrow."
"Well," Mom said, "I'm sure that Donnie could take a personal day..."
"No," I interrupted, "I need to register Mae and get things ready for a sub on Tuesday. Maybe... maybe I can just bring Mae with me and she can just stay in my classroom all day."
"I..." Hilda said, suddenly. "...I could watch my niece tomorrow, if that would help."
I was shocked. I hope that I've given you a reasonable outline of Hilda's personality as I knew it before Mae arrived, but she was entirely different now. She was absolutely captivated with Mae, the same way that I was and that caused a display of emotion that she was not used to. While I found this new feeling of maternity warm and exciting, I think that Hilda found it a bit unsettling. A chink in her teutonic armor, in a way. I knew that these feelings made her feel self conscious, but to me, they made Hilda so much more wonderful - and she had always been wonderful.
I looked at Mitch, who also looked surprised. "Really?" I asked. "You just said that you had a lot to do for a job on Wednesday."
She looked at Mae and smiled, "And none of it is as important as my niece. I would be very happy to have her spend tomorrow with me."
"Well," Mitch smiled, "problem solved. Thank you, Hilda."
"Isn't that wonderful?" I asked Mae. "You get to spend the whole day with Tante."
Mae smiled, obviously happy that everyone seemed to enjoy having her spend time with them. I think that, even though Evelyn loved Mae with all her heart, she was a very old, very tired, very ill woman and, try as she might, she just couldn't give Mae the time and attention she needed. I was determined to change that - and, obviously, so were Mom and Hilda.
Mom and Mae and I left pretty soon after that. Mitch and Hilda had gotten into a very heated conversation about golf and hardly even noticed we left. We had a light breakfast at a coffee shop, then went to a small store a few towns away that specialized in girls' clothing.
Mae tried on several lovely dresses and I took a picture of each on my phone so we could make a decision later.
I thought the seventh dress she tried on was perfect and so did Mom. "Do you like it, Mae?" I asked.
She swayed in the mirror and thought. "It's pretty, but..."
"But what, dear?" Mom asked.
Mae looked at me. "What does your dress look like?"
I looked at Mom who was smiling at me. "Well," I smiled, "my dress is a simple, plain, black sheath with no sleeves and a 'V' neck line. Nothing special."
"Could I get something like that?" Mae asked.
I looked up at Mom and then at the saleswoman who was assisting us. The saleswoman said, "I may have something that is similar to what you've described."
She walked away and returned with a simple little, black dress with a round neckline. Like mine, it had a lovely sheen to the fabric, it was sleeveless and, unlike mine, had a lovely bow in the back.
"Oh, that's just perfect," Mom said. "Mae, you will be beautiful in that."
"Is it like yours?" Mae asked me.
I smiled. "Very similar." I explained the differences, always pointing out that these were just tiny differences. She smiled and agreed to try it on.
She looked beautiful in the dress and we found a pair of pretty black shoes with a very pretty bow on the toe area and a tiny bit of a heel. They were similar to my shoes as well - mine didn't have a bow and the heel was higher, but similar enough that Mae would be happy.
We also bought Mae a very simple, black sweater to wear if the church was chilly, which, of course, necessitated that we stop at a women's store near by to get one for me as well. Mom bought one, too.
We took a little ride around the city to show Mae her new school, Mitch's law firm's offices, Mom's school and a few other things that she'd never seen before - a peculiar statue on the city's common with a young boy 'riding' a turtle (although it had looked to me as if he was molesting the poor turtle), a lovely park with a famous bridge in it, a few other items, and finally ended up at our city's art museum - a place I'd spent a great deal of time growing up. We roamed through the galleries for a couple of hours, while I explained the differences in painters' styles and how they blended colors, etc. I'm not sure that Mae was all that interested, but she humored me.
We stopped in the museum's café and had a lovely lunch. They had very fancy, not too high calorie sandwiches for Mom and me, and chicken with rice soup and a small turkey sandwich for Mae.
When we'd finished, Mae asked if she could buy herself a cupcake. I was going to go up to the counter to buy it, but Mae wanted to do it herself. So I gave her a five dollar bill and she skipped over to get in the short line.
"So," Mom said, "tell me about this mother-daughter-dress fixation."
I smiled. "I don't know," I admitted, honestly. "It started with the flowered dresses, then, this morning, when I was wearing something different, she was upset. I felt that it was best to make her happy. Kind of - part of a team, I guess."
Mom smiled. "The girls' club, huh? That's sweet. I hope it stays like this forever."
"Me too," I sighed. "I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? For her to fall apart and mourn and cry and who knows what else, but... she just gets sweeter and sweeter, every day."
Mom looked at me and nodded. "She needs family - you and Mitch."
I laughed, "And Auntie Rie and Tante Hilda and Nana and Doc."
Mom shook her head. "You know, I hated the idea of being called 'Nana,' but now.... Since I've heard my own granddaughter call me by that name... now... I love it and I can't imagine being called anything else."
I laughed. "I know."
Mom looked at me a little curious, a little sad, "Are you going to ask her to call you 'Mommy' at some point?"
I shrugged and looked at Mae as she picked out a cupcake. "I don't know. I mean... she's known Mitch as Mitch her whole life, so it seems weird to suddenly ask her to call him 'Daddy'... I just don't know."
Mae came walking carefully back to our table, a vanilla cupcake perched precariously on a small plate. When the plate was safely on the table, Mom and I both applauded her and she smiled as she handed me a few coins as change. When I told her she could keep it, you'd have thought I'd given her a pot of gold. She dropped the coins into her little purse and climbed into her chair.
"Vanilla!?" Mom asked her. "Is that your favorite?"
Mae shrugged. "I like chocolate, but Tante made me a whole chocolate cake, so I got vanilla."
The next morning, on the way to school, I dropped Mae off with Hilda, who was uncharacteristically dressed down in jeans and a sweat shirt when I arrived. I commented on her casual look, but she just smiled and said she had a messy project to do that day.
At school, I spoke to Alma about my day off for Evelyn's funeral, which I'd emailed her about on Saturday, and about Mae starting on Wednesday, or shortly there after.
Alma was officious and friendly enough, but she did inform me that my personal day to attend Evelyn's funeral would have to be without pay because I was not related to 'the deceased.' My first inclination was to fight her on this, maybe even call Bev to have her intervene, but I decided that this was not a battle I wanted to have at that moment, so I just accepted it and moved on. Mae's old school had forwarded her records already that morning, and Mitch had already sent Alma an email asking her how big a check to write, so Mae was all set to start when she was ready.
When I returned to Rie and Hilda's house that afternoon, I was shocked to find that the clean little girl wearing the cute little dress I had dropped off that morning was now a filthy, paint covered little girl in a paint covered grey sweat shirt and a pair of equally paint covered pink sweat pants.
I stared in shock at the messy urchin laughing at my dropped jaw. "Mae! You're a mess! What on earth have you been doing!?"
She giggled, grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the stairs. "Come see! Tante Hilda and I painted my room!"
If I thought that Mae was covered in paint, it was nothing compared to how my sister-in-law looked. Her short hair had more specks of paint covered areas than not.
The room, however, looked beautiful! Three walls were painted a very soft pink and the wall where a bed would be placed was painted what the paint can called 'Orchid Pink.' It was unquestionably feminine and little girlish without feeling as if you were standing inside a bottle of Pepto Bismol.
"We've been busy," Hilda said, proudly.
"I see that!" I laughed.
"What do you think?" Hilda put her arm around Mae's shoulder. "My assistant and I worked very hard all day."
I looked around, impressed. "It's beautiful!" I said, honestly.
"It's my room, now," Mae said with pride.
"It is," Hilda laughed as she rubbed Mae's back. "Whenever you need it, you may stay here."
I leaned forward and kissed Hilda's cheek. "Thank you, Hilda. It's lovely." I meant it sincerely, but a big part of me was wondering how much effort it was going to take to get my daughter clean in time for her great grandmother's funeral.
The funeral, on Tuesday, went very well. Mae and I, in our matching dresses, sat in the front row with Mitch and Pam. Our family, Mom, Dad, Rie and Hilda, sat behind us to offer Mae support. Behind them, The partners and their wives and then, behind them... very few people. Mostly representatives of charitable organizations Evelyn had supported or, like the partners, representatives of businesses who had interacted with her throughout the years.
I learned a lesson that day: Mom and Dad were right. Family is everything and, except for Mae, Evelyn had none left. It was heartbreaking, but a funeral is not for the departed - it's to give closure to those left behind. So, I just held Mae close and smiled, hoping that she may find some comfort in the proceedings.
There was no casket, Evelyn had been cremated already, so there was only a small, granite memorial containing her ashes that would be interred in the family mausoleum at a later date.
The service was lovely, though. The presiding minister obviously had known Evelyn well and told some lovely stories that seemed to brighten the mood. Mae was, of course, a bit confused by all of it, but she snuggled up next to me and let it all wash over her.
The receiving line following the service was even more confusing for Mae than the service. After a few moments, Rie and Hilda took Mae aside and brought her into the reception room and got her a drink and some cookies.
With the exception of Oscar and Bev, and Bob and Jodi, we didn't know anyone who passed through the receiving line. We accepted their condolences, though and smiled until the line ended and we joined Mae in the reception room. Our family, which included the partners and their wives, were there. No one else had stayed. There were two hundred seats set up around twenty large, round tables and enough food to feed that many people. It was one of the saddest things I'd ever seen.
I have to say, Mae's first eight days in my school went extremely well. She seemed to slide right in with her classmates. I kept checking in with all of her teachers and they all confirmed that she was doing very well. I was very grateful for that, of course, but because she'd seemed to be floundering so badly at old school, her success at my school was actually a bit surprising.
As we approached April vacation, Mitch let us know that we would be going to court on the Wednesday of vacation week to finalize our adoption of Mae. We explained that to her and she seemed to understand that after that court session, she would be ours forever.
My poor therapist seemed to have a hard time keeping up with my constantly changing life. She warned me about taking on too much too quickly, but she seemed please with how well things were going with Mae. One thing that she did encourage, though, was that I begin hormon therapy. I agreed with her and happily started a new road towards womanhood.
So, we made it to vacation week and on that first Saturday morning, we walked across the street for 'Doc's Saturday Morning Waffle Breakfast,' which had become a weekly tradition. Mae and Dad manned the waffle iron and we were all in the kitchen chatting and doing different chores - setting the table, making bacon, pouring juice and milk.
When we were all seated and enjoying our waffles, Mom asked, innocently, "So, you have the hearing on Wednesday. Do you have anything else planned for vacation?"
Mitch nodded. "Well, Monday, Donnie is having her surgery..."
"What!?" Mae shouted, uncharacteristically loudly.
We all looked at her, surprised by how upset she seemed. "It's just a little procedure, honey," I explained. "Nothing to worry about."
"But..." Mae's eyes narrowed, "... you're going to be in the hospital?"
I nodded. "Just for a few hours, honey."
Mae stared forward, not focusing on much of anything. "No." She said, almost emotionlessly.
Mitch let out a nervous laugh. "Mae, it's a simple procedure. Donnie will be in and out in..."
"No!" Mae yelled and slammed hand on the table. "No! No! No!" She stood and bolted for the door, surprising us all, but Dad, who was closest to the door caught her before she got the storm door open and pulled her into a tight hug.
"Ok, ok, honey," he said, calmly. "Calm down, baby. Calm down."
"I'm not a baby!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "Let me go!"
By now, I was kneeling next to Dad and Mae. "Honey! What's wrong?"
"No!" She screamed, louder than I could have believed she could. "I don't want you to go into the hospital!"
"Why, Mae Mae?" Dad said in that rehearsed voice. "Why don't you want Donnie to go into the hospital?"
"Because she'll die!" She screamed, irrationally.
"No she won't," Dad said. "Donnie will be fine, Mae."
"No!" Mae screamed, again. "She'll die! She'll die! She'll die!" The poor thing was out of control, wild and fighting against Dad's hold.
Mom was standing to the side weeping and muttering, "Do something, please. Calm her down before she hurts herself."
Mitch knelt on the other side of Dad and spoke calmly, too. "Mae, she'll be fine, honey, I promise."
"Noooo!!!" She continued. "Uncle Will went to hospital and died! So did Grammy!!! She'll die!!! She'll die!!! Let me go!!!"
Dad stood, pulling Mae off of the ground with him, and he made shh-ing sounds while Mae continued to rail against him. He held her tightly and swayed from side to side until Mae's rage subsided into sobs, at which point, he handed her to me and guided us into the guest room where I laid on the bed, Mae beside me, and I continued to hold her and cooed calming sounds.
"Just be her mom," Dad whispered to me as he shut the door. I'm sure that the next order of business on the other side of the door was to calm Mom down, too.
It seemed like hours, but was probably only twenty minutes or so, until Mae's desperate sobs turned into shallow breaths. I kissed her forehead and petted her hair over and over until she could breath again.
"Are you ok, now?" I asked.
She shook her head. "No."
"Look, Mae," I tried to be calm and rational sounding, "I am having a very simple procedure done. I'm not even going to be unconscious. I'll go in in the morning and I'll be home by dinner. I promise."
Mae's sad, wet eyes looked at me. "I don't want you to do it."
I kissed her and hugged her, again. "Mae Mae... you trust Doc, right?"
She nodded.
"Well, Doc is going to be right there with me, honey, and Doc would never let anything happen to me. Ok?"
She looked towards the door and heaved a sigh. "Do you promise?"
I smiled. "I promise, my love. I just got you. I'm not leaving you any time soon."
She snuggled into my neck, her face wet with tears. "Ok. As long as you promise."
We laid there for a while longer before she was ready to rejoin everyone. When we opened the bedroom door, Dad was waiting, wearing his jacket and holding Mae's spring coat. He held it open for her and smiled so, so sweetly. "Come on, Mae. I think you and I both need to take a walk. What do you say?"
I don't know if Mae needed to take a walk, or if she was just too embarrassed to stay in the same room as all of us, or if she was just so enamored of her grandfather that she just wanted to be with him, but she had her coat on and went out the door with Dad. "We'll be back in an hour or so," he said as he shut the door.
I Mitch hugged me and asked if I was ok. I nodded and asked Mom if she was ok. She nodded as well.
I sat and held my head in my hands. "I guess that's what we've been waiting for, huh? Her reaction to the death of her great uncle and great grandmother. It feels like it all came out just now."
Mitch nodded.
"I'll make some tea," Mom said, not knowing what else to do, and she went out into the kitchen.
Mitch sat beside me, his arm around my shoulder.
"I've never seen anything like that," I said, shaking my head.
"I have," Mitch whispered. "One morning in Hawaii. She's just like her mother."
I knew he was teasing, but I couldn't help it. I burst into sobs and fell against Mitch's chest and cried myself out.
We spent the rest of the weekend avoiding any mention of my procedure on Monday. We brought Mae to a movie, went to look at alpacas at a local farm and even drove to the top of a local mountain. Anything to keep her worried mind occupied.
Monday morning, though, there was no avoiding the topic. Mom had volunteered to keep Mae with her, but Dad suggested that the only way to teach her that hospitals weren't places of death was to have her come and see me check in.
"I'll show her around," he smiled. "It'll show her the good side of medicine." I wasn't convinced, but Dad could be very reassuring, so... Mae got up early and we wore similar dresses to the hospital with Mitch driving and Mom in the car with us.
When we entered the lobby, Dad was waiting. Typically, Mae would bolt to him to get a hug, but this morning she just looked pale and scared. Dad knelt to whisper in her ear. "Come on, honey. Let me show you around. We'll see Donnie after she checks in."
Mae took his hand, almost robotically.
Dad started to walk away, but turned to Mom and said, "Come on, Nana. Walk with us."
Mom gave her husband her exasperated scowl, then looked at me. "Good luck, Donnie. I'm sure it will be fine."
I kissed her cheek and smiled. "It's pretty simple, mom. I'll be fine."
She smiled and turned to walk away with Dad and Mae.
Mitch put his arm around me. "You ok?"
I nodded. "Yeah. Let's get this over with. The faster I'm done, the better it will be for Mae."
Within an hour, I was in a hospital gown and on a movable bed in a prep room. At least a dozen people came in and asked my name, why I was there, what procedure I was having, blah, blah, blah, blah... it was exhausting in it redundancy. Mitch just telling me to calm down and relax.
Finally, Mom and Dad came into my room with Mae between them.
I smiled at my girl. "Hi, Mae. Come here. Give me a hug."
Dad lifted her onto my bed and she threw her arms around my neck. I hugged her tightly, too.
I smiled at her and said, "Mae Mae, I need you to be a big, strong girl for me, ok? Mitch... well, Mitch is kind of nervous and I need you to make sure he's ok while I have this done, ok?"
She looked me right in the eye, as serious as can be and she nodded. "Ok." Then she hugged me again and whispered. "Remember... you promised you'd be ok."
I smiled and kissed her forehead. "I'll be just fine, my love. Just fine."
"Well, there are a lot more people in here than I expected," the voice came from behind Mitch. It was my cosmetic surgeon. He had a smile on his face, but he did seem a bit flummoxed by the number of people in the preparation room.
"I guess it's time for you all to move to the waiting room," Dad said. Then he turned to my surgeon and shook his hand. "Good morning, Paul. Thank you for letting me be in the room this morning."
"Ok," I whispered to Mae, "you can come in and see me in my recovery room in a few hours. Sound good?"
Mae nodded and kissed my cheek. "I love you," she whispered. "Remember... you promised."
I gave her one more hug. "I remember. I'll be fine."
Once Mitch had kissed me and took Mom and Mae out of the room, my surgeon spoke to me about the procedure, then a nurse came in and injected the area around my breasts several times. Eventually, I was wheeled into an operating theater.
Dad stood beside me and held my hand the whole time. It was nice to feel his love and support. I was, after all, a bit nervous, as anyone would be, but the situation with Mae had me a bit more on edge.
I didn't feel any pain, but I did feel pulling and it was a bit uncomfortable. Dad smiled and said, "If you were able to handle standard anesthesia, this would be a bit easier, but just try to concentrate on something other than the pulling. Count the ceiling tiles. It'll be over before you know it."
He was right. Once my attention was on anything other than what the surgeon was doing, it was all over pretty quickly. Before I knew it, I had breasts installed in my chest.
My sutures were tiny and I can't say that I was really 'in pain' as the local numbing wore off, but there was some discomfort. Some aching.
I was given a godawful post-surgery bra to wear for the next week so that the breasts would heal in the correct shape and, within a half an hour of being in my recovery room, the parade of hospital employees asking me questions and having me sign things was in full swing, again. Every time the door opened, I expected it to be Mitch and Mae, but it never seemed to be. It was always some petty functionary asking another question about my name, my procedure, my insurance, my ride home, etc.
I was looking out the window when another person entered the room. "Good afternoon," the woman said. "My name is Claudia and I need you to fill out a few..."
I'm not sure what gave me away. Maybe it was the look of shock on my face when I swung around to look at her. Maybe it was the fact that I wasn't wearing much makeup at that moment. Who knows.
What I do know is that when I heard her say, 'My name is Claudia...' I immediately recognized the name and the voice - it was my oldest sister whom I'd not seen since my mother's funeral.
"Donald?" She said in a confused voice. She looked at her chart. "Breast implants? What the hell is going on?"
I knew that there was no reason to lie, but still I was caught off guard. "Claudia... I've... it's... it's been a long time."
In typical Claudia fashion, she offered no conversation that deviated from her own agenda. "Explain this to me, Donald! What the hell is going on here. Last I knew, you were engaged to that girl, Nancy. Now I find you getting breast implants. It says here that you're on female hormones, too. Now, answer my question! What are you? A sissy? A fairy? Some kind of a pervert? Now, Donald! Answer me!"
I was about to answer in a less than lady-like manner, when the door swung open and Mae bounded past my sibling and climbed onto my bed. "Mommy!" Mae yelled. "You're ok."
I wrapped my arms around the little girl who'd just called me 'mommy' for the first time and I hugged her to my shoulder - avoiding my breasts. "I'm fine, my love, I'm fine. Just like I promised."
She smiled up at me. "I love you, mommy."
"I love you, too, my sweet girl."
Suddenly, Mae seemed to notice Claudia for the first time. "Who's that?" She asked.
"That," I said, "is your Aunt Claudia. Say hi to her."
Claudia stared in mute astonishment at my daughter and me.
"Hello, Aunt Claudia," Mae said politely. "How do you know my mommy?"
I figured that made the next step Claudia's responsibility. If she wanted to give me away, that was fine. I knew that I loved Mitch and Mae and they loved me. She had no power over me. If she decided to tell Mae that I was a man, then that was fine. Yes, it would create the need for a conversation that I'd rather not have while Mae was only eight years old, but I was willing to do that if Claudia decided to behave with her usual vehemence.
Claudia looked at me, then at Mae and smiled. "Your mommy is..." I held my breath, "... my... little sister."
Mae looked at me and I nodded. "Isn't Auntie Rie your sister?" She asked.
"Yes," I nodded, "but so is Auntie Claudia." I looked at my sister and smiled my thanks. "Maybe someday you will meet your Auntie Angela, too."
Mae looked astounded. "You're all sisters?"
Claudia nodded. "Yes. We're all sisters."
Mae nodded, and turned back to me. "I'm glad you're ok."
"Me too, my love," I whispered. "Me too."
So, what more is there to be said?
Mae is ours now, completely, legally and in all other ways. Every night, at bed time, we remind her that her great grandmother loved her very much and that part of Evelyn lives on in Mae. Mae smiles every time we say that, too. She knows that being Evelyn's great granddaughter means that she has a lot to live up to, but with the love and support of Mitch and Mommy, she knows she can do it.
Nancy and I planned the most successful spring festival fundraiser in the history of the firm's charity trust. Nancy, of course, fell head over heels for Mae, too. Her first reaction upon seeing my baby was, of course, shock, but ten minutes after meeting my little girl, Nancy was infatuated.
I have truly learned to love teaching in a way I never expected. I mean, I always took it seriously, but by the end of that first school year, I was really hitting my stride. I'm sure that I'll be doing this job for the rest of my life - maybe at the school where I started, maybe not, but definitely for the rest of my life.
I even had a surprise visit from my older sisters, one Sunday afternoon. It was an awkward meeting, but it was a start. They happened to show up while Rie and Hilda were visiting, which didn't help a lot - I mean, you know Rie. If she has something to say, she's going to say it - but the fact is, Claudia made an effort. Maybe for the first time in my entire life, she tried to be my sister.
Well, that was all a few months ago and now, here I am again. Back in Renee's salon, only this time I'm here with my incredible daughter as we prepare my friend Nancy's wedding later today. I will be Nancy's maid of honor and my little girl will be her flower girl. You should see our dresses! I'm wearing what I've learned is called a 'trumpet' gown. Tiny spaghetti straps that lead to a very tantalizing sweetheart neckline, a cowl back that sits low, revealing a bare back, with no coverage for a bra strap, so no bra. The dress hugs my rear and hips, which I now have, thanks to the hormones I've been taking, then relaxes into a comfortable flare that flows in yards of extra fabric to the floor. It's all made from a soft mauve chiffon that moves around me like a cloud when I move. It's gorgeous.
Mae Mae's flower girl dress is the most precious thing I have ever seen in my life! The top is white satin with lace, half sleeves that fits snugly around her torso, but the a high waisted skirt with layers and layers of tulle petticoats blossoms out around her. The bell shaped skirt is a soft aqua color that has these delicate, almost translucent, lace flowers scattered around it. There is also a nearly transparent cape attached to the dress' shoulders that forms a long train behind her when she walks. Instead of the translucent lace flowers, though, the cape has elegant, lace butterflies and sparkles adorning it. This is one of the few times since she became my daughter that Mae has not wanted to wear a dress similar to mine. This dress of hers is any little girl's dream come true and she cannot wait to wear it this afternoon.
Of course, Auntie Bev and Auntie Jodi also dote on Mae with unbridled affection. You should have heard the oohs and ahhs last week when they all came over for our monthly dinner at our house. Mae paraded her flower girl dress through our great room as though she was an experienced runway model and Bev and Jodi responded with all the love and support that Mae has come to enjoy from her 'work aunties,' a term that Bev coined to describe how she and Jodi are related to my girl.
We've had a wonderful six months since that day in the recovery room. Six months of growing to love and trust each other more and more, and becoming a stronger, more intimate family. Even though my relationship with Angela and Claudia is still strained, we've made some progress. I'm happy that Mae at least knows them, and who knows, maybe someday Mom will get her wish and we'll all be one big, happy family. That would be nice.
For now, though - I have found more love than I ever expected I would find and that has led to more happiness than anyone deserves. Mom and Dad, Hilda and Marie, our tight-knit, immediate family, they all love Mitch and Mae and me with all their hearts and I love Mitch more and more every day. I never knew that I could love someone that much.
And then there's Mae.
My sweet Mae.
My little girl.
My baby. She doesn't even mind it when I call her 'my baby' anymore.
Mae is not just my child. She is my heart. She is my soul. She is my life.
And my life is... wonderful.
THE END