The Last Sleepover

Part one

At a sleepover with his childhood best friends, Elliot hears them making fun of a transgender celebrity. Elliot has always felt different and an outsider. He works to discover his true identity and when he does it's hard to accept. Elliot struggles between staying silent and standing up for himself. Will he reveal his secret or pretend to be someone he’s not?

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Who doesn’t like sleepovers? It's a childhood memory that will last for all our lives. Even at 12 years old, I love sleepovers with my friends. It is a sanctuary from our parents and every adult. When we had sleepovers, we were the ones that made the rules. This meant a sleepover was a night full of playing video games, watching movies, staying up late, eating junk food, telling jokes, and sharing secrets. It was like a secret club of best friends who shared this special time.

My friends and I had sleepovers once a month. We would take turns at each other's houses. They were all boys from my class, so sleepovers were a place where we knew each other well as well as something we looked forward to. Ethan was the oldest, and he had a very blunt personality. You know he was one of those people who would tell you if he did not like something. People sometimes thought Ethan was very judgemental, especially about the clothes people wore. We saw Ethan as a person with a heart of gold who would never get a job where diplomacy was needed. Then there was Lucas, who was very organised and with all the ideas. Lucas was concerned about success and money, so he would end up being a millionaire one day. Then there was Samuel, who was a saint. Samuel was known for helping animals that he found injured or lost. He could not accept that any animal should suffer and thought that it was a human duty to help animals.

So this story starts when we were at a sleepover at Lucas's house. We were, of course, in his bedroom, where his family was not allowed to come in. This was good as Lucas had an annoying little sister. His mom was allowed to come in on the condition that she had snacks or some form of junk food that was not good for our bodies. Ethan did not like junk food as he was worried it would give him acne when we became teens. It was still Ethan who managed to eat the most. I suppose that we were not teens yet, so we did not have to worry about it and could just eat as much as we could.

Lucas was one lucky boy. He had everything that a child could wish for. At times I wondered why he did not have a warehouse for all his toys. He even had a computer with a few screens. His parents were as rich as they could be, so I suppose that Lucas was just a rich boy who got what he wanted. So sleepovers at his house gave us plenty to do. Lucas had the latest computer games and every toy and book we would ever need. This sleepover was not any different. We played computer games. We talked about how strange the teachers at school were. We talked about how bossy parents could be. We wrestled and played truth or dare. It was just like any other sleepover we had.

This was until Ethan was reading a magazine. He was reading about a celebrity our age whose name was Nick Rose. He was also 12 years old like we were, but he was famous across the world for his singing. Nick Rose was a boy who used to sing on YouTube, and some record company discovered him, and now he is the world's biggest pop star, with millions of albums being sold and everything he does going to the top of the charts. All the teenage girls around the world had a crush on him. I will admit that I was not a fan and did not like his music. While I think that Nick Rose has a good voice and has done some cool music videos, I just was not impressed with his music.

Anyhow, Ethan was laughing and started reading up from the magazine what Nick Rose said during an interview, “I have something big to share. For a while now, I've felt like I was trapped in the wrong body—like my mind is that of a girl, but my physical self is still male. It took me some time to understand what it meant, but after much thought, I realised I am transgender. That means I identify as female even though my biological sex is male.

It wasn't easy admitting this because society often expects boys to be tough, strong, and manly. But deep down inside, all I wanted was to feel comfortable with myself. Sometimes I cried myself to sleep, feeling ashamed for being different. My friends would tease me about wanting to dress up as girls or act "girly." And there were days when I wished I could wear skirts instead of shorts and wear earrings without being judged. But then one day, during an interview where they asked how long I had been acting weird, it hit me! This isn't just 'weirdness'; this is who I truly am. So, here goes: I AM A GIRL INSIDE AND OUT. Now I know people will judge, and laugh at me...but honestly, does it matter? Am I not deserving of happiness simply because my body doesn't match who I truly am? No more hiding from who I really am. If this means becoming a role model for others struggling similarly, so be it. Being true to yourself is worth any negative reaction thrown your way. Love yourself first before anyone else can do it for you!”

The other boys laughed and joked at what Ethan read up. Nick Rose had everything he could ever want. He had fame, money, and an easy life at the top. Now he had told the whole world that he was transgender. The boys thought that this was ridiculous, as it's impossible to be a girl when you have a boy's body. Lucas predicted that this would ruin Nick Rose's career, as who wants to be a fan of a sissy boy? Samuel was confused by it all, asking how a boy could think he was a girl when he was born a boy. Lucas said that Nick Rose could wear all the dresses and play with all the Barbie dolls that he wanted, but he would still be a boy. Ethan, thinking that he knew everything, explained that it was a trend with famous people to try and promote LGBT+ issues. What Nick Rose was doing was jumping on a bandwagon and trying to stay relevant. It's part of the woke culture that is in Hollywood. None of us understood a lot of what Ethan was talking about. We were still confused. The boys teased Nick Rose's decision, calling him everything from a wimp to a crazy sissy boy who lost his mind.

I kept quiet and did not say a word. I never liked when people teased or bullied others. It was evil in a way to tease a boy our age whom we never met. In a way, I admired Nick Rose. It couldn’t be easy for him to publicly admit his true feelings and tell the world how he felt. I mean, we have all heard about boys who were gay or felt that they were a girl in a boy's body, but this seemed strange to many other boys our age and hard to understand. I am sure that someone like Ethan would not understand how anyone can dare to be different , while Lucas would just sigh that admitting you're transgender is bad for business, and Nick Rose would lose many of his fans. Samuel, in his innocent way, would not understand why a boy would rather play with Barbie dolls than play soccer. As for me, it was inspiring that a celebrity would be willing to give it all up to be true to himself. This takes a lot of guts and confidence.

The others quickly forgot about Nick Rose, but I could not. While the others slept, my mind was too busy thinking to sleep. I always knew that I was different from other boys but never tried to think too much about it. It seemed safe for me just to try and fit in with the others. I dressed like they did, played sports like they did, and tried to be interested in the same things as they did. I never thought of why I felt so different. I thought there was just something wrong with me. I mean, we are all different, are we not? Maybe I just never dared to find out who I am and why I felt like an outsider. Nick Rose took the time to find out who he is, and while not many may accept it, he seems happy with the discovery.

I introduced everyone else except myself, so I think it's about time to do that. My name is Elliot, and as you guessed, I am 12 years old. I live with my grandmother because I do not know who my dad is, and my mom can hardly take care of herself, never mind me. That was ok, as Granny was a nice woman. She was old-fashioned, and her house was like a museum. She loved me, and that was the most important thing, despite she could be strict at times. I never needed anything, and she was a great cook. I was not the best student at school, as I could never figure out when we would need algebra. While the normal school subjects were a challenge, the creative ones were something that I was good at. The other students saw me as a quiet and shy boy, and they were right. Granny always told me that I needed more confidence and should socialise more. I would just shrug my shoulders and say that I had three good friends and that was better than many other boys had.

Well, the sleepover confused me, and that was why I was quiet at school the next day, or I should say more quiet than usual. It was hard for me to concentrate during classes, and even when we played soccer during recess, I was mostly just standing there and not trying a lot, which annoyed the others. However, I made a major decision today. I will find out why I feel so different and like an outsider. I had to find out if I was happy or just going along with the flow. I had to find out why Nick Rose's coming out as a transgender person affected me so much and made me think if I am just pretending to be someone I am not.

So when I was at home, I googled Nick Rose and how he discovered who he is. This is how he explained it:

“For a long time now, I've felt different from other boys my age—like there was this secret inside of me that I couldn't share with anyone else. But no more hiding!

I guess it all started when I played dress-up as a kid. Like, every chance I had, I would wear skirts or dresses instead of shorts or jeans. And not just any clothes either; I loved wearing bright colours, bows in my hair... things girls usually do, right? Even though people told me it wasn't "boyish," those clothes made me feel happy and special somehow. Growing up, it didn't change much—I preferred hanging out with girls over guys because they understood me better. Plus, they liked the same stuff too.

I did not like being called a boy as it felt so wrong.

But then things got complicated because I began realising what these feelings meant about who I really am: deep down inside, I know I'm not a boy, but rather a girl trapped in a guy's body. That realisation hit hard because growing up in society means having expectations placed on you based solely on your gender at birth. So, hiding became crucial for survival. You see, if people knew the truth, life might get difficult since they don't always understand this kind of thing. So, year after year, day after day, I kept pushing away those parts of myself that felt real while trying so desperately to fit into a mould shaped by others.

It got harder over time because as I learnt more about transgender people, everything clicked together. Finally understanding that others went through similar struggles brought relief but also sadness knowing how alone I'd been until finding their stories. Still, even knowing it's normal doesn’t make it easier living with that secret constantly gnawing at me. Sometimes feeling helpless feels worse than actually doing anything about it. But now here we are!

So why did I wait so long? Well, fear mainly: being bullied or mocked is never fun (and often terrifying), plus worrying about disappointing parents and friends added stress onto an already complex situation. What if they wouldn't accept me for who I truly am? Would they love me less? Could I handle seeing them cry due to the pain caused by my revelation? Ultimately, though, I realised staying true to myself matters far more than what other people think or believe. My happiness needs to come first before anything else.

Finally coming clean wasn't easy. There were tears shed and conversations filled with anger and confusion. Yet despite the initial shock, most showed support and love, which warmed my heart tremendously. While acceptance isn't instantaneous for everyone close to us, they have shown patience during our journey thus far. And that makes a world of difference. We're lucky enough to live in an era where awareness around transgender issues has increased dramatically; still, not everywhere shares such positivity, making this process more challenging for some. At least I know who I am ."

I just stared at a picture of Nick Rose smiling in a summer dress ….

The Last Sleepover

Part Two

At a sleepover with his childhood best friends, Elliot hears them making fun of a transgender celebrity. Elliot has always felt different and an outsider. He works to discover his true identity and when he does it's hard to accept. Elliot struggles between staying silent and standing up for himself. Will he reveal his secret or pretend to be someone he’s not?

When I read about Nick Rose's feelings and thoughts, I was speechless. He always felt as if he was different and like an outsider. Besides that he liked wearing pretty things and doing girly things, he felt as if he did not have the thoughts or emotions of a boy. He even hated being called a boy. I knew boys and girls dressed differently and liked to do different things. Still, I never considered that they thought differently. When I thought of it, girls seemed more compassionate at times. They were not ashamed if they cried at a sad film. Even the way girls had friendships was different than boys. While boys usually had a large group of friends, girls liked to have one or two friends. I never heard boys talk about BFF (best friends forever) while girls talk about it all the time.

After reading about Nick Rose, I thought about how deep down, many of the things he said were things that I thought. I always liked bright colours and stuff like unicorns and kittens and ponies. My favourite T-shirt was a long one that went down to my knees as if it was a dress. Of course, I played soccer with my friends, but that was only because they played. I did not like the game and never looked at it on TV. In many ways, I thought differently than my friends. I never thought about this, as I just thought I was just more soft than most other boys. You should never be ashamed if you shed a tear during a film, but many think that boys should not cry. I cried over the smallest things.

Maybe all this means that I am transgender as well. A part of me thinks that this would explain a lot, and a part of me hopes it's not true. Can a boy be a girl while having a boy's body? Is it right that boys and girls think differently? I did not have the answer to all of this. It's hard to have the answers when I have problems describing how I feel. It's so hard to put in words. After all my life knowing that I was different from other boys, I accepted it was my problem, and it was my responsibility to be like others. This means I pushed many thoughts I had in the back of my head and would get mad at myself for thinking them. This raised a big question: What if I am transgender? What if ignoring this would affect me mentally and make me unhappy? Up to now, I did not think about being transgender and always considered myself happy. The result was that I wanted to know who I was, but if I was transgender, I did not want others to know.

So at school, I tried to push these thoughts to the back of my head and be the way I had always been. This did not work, as while I was hanging out with my three friends, I could not help observing how girls were and how boys were. I noticed how the girls were dressed and thought their clothes made my clothes look boring. I noticed how they talked together and what they did. When I eavesdropped, I even noticed what they talked about, which were some things I would love to talk about. All this confused me and made me pinch myself and tell myself that I already had three good friends. If I told them about the thoughts that were going through my head, they would never understand me and think I should be wearing a straight jacket in some mental institution.

If I were transgender, no one would ever know. I already felt like an outsider and different. I did not want to publicise it so everyone knew how different I was.

After school, Granny picked me up at school. She wanted to buy me new clothes as I was a growing boy. When she called me a growing boy, I realised that I was glaring at her. This made my heart beat harder as it meant that I did not want to be called a boy. Things did not get any better when we were buying clothes. Of course, she was looking at the boy's clothes, and despite being ancient, Granny did know what was in fashion and what was not in fashion. She was smiling as she looked at the boy's clothes while I was frowning. I found myself looking at girl's clothes nearby and thinking how pretty they were. While Granny was looking at clothes, I was daydreaming and imagining the girl's clothes on me. Granny noticed this and asked why I was looking at the girl's section. Blushing and stuttering, I lied by telling her that I thought I had seen a girl from school. This made her smile and joke by saying I am at that age when I am beginning to notice girls. If Granny only knew!

Once again, I was more quiet than I usually am at school the next day. Samuel told me that he wanted to speak with me alone. This made me panic at first, as could he read my thoughts, or was it obvious that I could be transgender? Samuel did ask me if I was ok, as I seemed to be unhappy since the last sleepover. I did not want Samuel to know what was really going on with me, so I said, “I am OK, and thanks for asking. I am also looking forward to the next sleepover, as it will be a blast”. Samuel must not have believed me, as he told me that he was always there for me and we could talk about anything.

Maybe I should stop thinking about my gender and just go back to the way I was. Some people say thinking can be dangerous, and I have not been any happier since I started thinking about what gender I am. Not thinking about it was just a dream as my brain was already working overtime. On my way home from school, I walked past the community centre. Don't ask me why I walked in, but I did, and I could see that there was a ballet class. I looked through the door window and was amazed. The girls were wearing leotards, tights, and ballet slippers. They looked like fairies when they danced, as they were so graceful and eloquent. The girls looked so free as if they were dancing on pink clouds. This looked like it was more fun than playing soccer. I imagined myself wearing pretty ballet clothes and dancing like an angel. My thoughts were broken as the ballet teacher noticed me looking through the door window. This meant that I ran out of the community building as fast as my legs could take me.

This is not all that happened to me today. When I went home, I had the daily cookies and milk that Granny gave me. After that, I decided to do something a boy would do, so I went up to the attic to explore. The attic was a place where Granny hid her old furniture and things that she did not have the heart to throw out. I already thought that her house was like a museum, but her attic would have been a museum in the time that Jesus lived. When I was exploring, I found some porcelain dolls that Granny must have played with when she was a little girl. I picked one of the dolls and sat in a corner of the attic playing with her. I fixed her hair and the dress she was wearing, told the doll some stories, and simply took care of the doll. I must have been in the attic for a long time because I heard Granny call me down from the attic, telling me it was time for bed. She asked me why I was in the attic so long, and once again I told her a white lie by saying I was Indiana Jones.

I could not sleep that night as I was certain that I was going crazy. Here I was, a boy who thought that ballet was more fun than soccer. When I went shopping with Granny, I secretly wanted her to buy girl clothes. This is not to mention that I spent hours playing with a doll. I even snuck the doll down to my bedroom, where it is now well hidden. All this was a sign that I was now crazy and mentally sick. This scared me, as the only thing that I wanted was to be normal. Why did I have to feel so different? The problem was that all these thoughts were in my head and I felt as if I could not tell anyone. Who would understand me? If I did tell people about what was happening to me, they would most likely not understand.

I finally did fall asleep, but halfway through the night, I woke up with a jolt. It was then that I realised that I was transgender. I was a girl in a boy's body. To be honest, I was calm and relieved when I realised this fact. It was like my brain was finally at peace and not a spaghetti bowl full of doubts, questions, and thoughts. Despite that I knew that I was transgender, I had to keep it to myself. I could not tell anyone as I was not ready for the world to know. I was not as brave as Nick Rose was, as I was afraid of people's reactions. This meant that I was alone and had to keep being transgender a secret. Up to now, I have managed to be a boy, and there should be no problem continuing this as I have been doing it all my life.

After I realised that I was transgender, I was excited, calm, and afraid at the same time. So I wrote a letter to Nick Rose. This was not a fan letter. I wrote everything that had happened and how I now realised that I was transgender. In the letter, I also wrote that I did not want others to know. I wrote the letter as it was a way of letting someone else know how I felt. This would mean that someone in the world would know that I was transgender. I also hoped that Nick Rose would write back to me with some advice and maybe even some encouragement. I doubted that this would happen, as he probably received millions of fan letters and could not read them all. This meant that Nick Rose would never respond to my letter, but this did not bother me as it helped put all my thoughts down on paper in words.

At school the next day, I did not tell anyone about my discovery about my identity. Being transgender was something that I wanted to keep to myself. When I was with others, I would put my “boy mask” on and pretend to be a boy. So I played soccer with my friends and hated every minute of it. It's not so much that soccer is considered a boys' sport, even though many girls play it, and they are often better than the boys. I simply did not like soccer. It was not fun. While I was playing soccer with my friends, images of the ballet class I eavesdropped on as well as the porcelain doll I hid were going through my mind. Still, my friends fanatically loved soccer, and this was one way that I could be with them.

After soccer, we sat down and just chatted casually with each other. Then we got to planning the next sleepover, which would be at Ethan's house. This gave us something to be excited about and look forward to. It reminded me that even though I knew I was certain of my gender identity, I was reminded that not everything changes, as I still had the best friends in the world. Of course, they did not know that I was transgender, but no one knew it, as I decided not to show this part of me in public. People do not need to know everything.

My plan of keeping my true identity a secret seemed like a good idea, but some people can see changes in a person, even small changes, and Granny was one of them. After we had eaten dinner, Granny said she wanted to have one of her serious talks with me. She explained clumsily that she noticed changes in me. She thought I was sad and seemed to have a lot on my mind, and then I got the speech that I could always confide in her if I ever needed to. I hugged Granny and told her that I was great and thanked her for being there for me.

I went up to my room and held the porcelain doll while I looked at the celebrity news. There was news about Nick Rose that he had delayed the release of his new album until the media storm about him being transgender calmed down. It seems that he had come under a lot of attack from religious and conservative groups as well as parent groups that thought that Nick would corrupt their children. It seems as if going public about being transgender has hurt his career, as this could be seen in the amount of people who no longer followed him on social media. You would think that in today's world, people would be more understanding.

This just showed me one thing. I was wise in not letting the world know who I truly was

The Last Sleepover

Part Three

At a sleepover with his childhood best friends, Elliot hears them making fun of a transgender celebrity. Elliot has always felt different and an outsider. He works to discover his true identity and when he does it's hard to accept. Elliot struggles between staying silent and standing up for himself. Will he reveal his secret or pretend to be someone he’s not?

Inside my mind, I knew that I was a girl, and at the same time, I was pretending to the world that I was a boy. This was hard as I wanted to express openly how I felt, but I did not do this as I was too scared of people's reactions. I would visit the community centre when there was a ballet class and look at the girls practising ballet through the door window. Ballet captivated me, and I wanted nothing more than to dance. The problem is that ballet was known as something girls did, and I was afraid that if I did ballet, they would find out that I was transgender, so I did the second-best thing and looked through the window. This was until one day the ballet teacher told me it was about time I joined the class. Blushing and speaking in a low voice, I made an excuse that boys do not do ballet. This made the ballet teacher laugh and tell me some of the best ballet dancers are male.

I wore a leotard and tights that were in the lost and found basket. The ballet teacher told me that it was unisex and I could wear it or come back next week when I had my gym shorts. I wore it despite knowing the leotard was for girls. I was introduced to the other girls, which there was no need for, as I knew most of them from school. The girls made me feel so welcome, and the next hour was the best that I ever experienced in my life. I loved ballet and wondered why I never thought about it before. The ballet teacher told me that I was a natural and fast learner. No one ever said to me that I was a natural and good at anything. This compliment made me feel proud, and I knew that I belonged here.

When I was in my bedroom after I went home, I felt sad and wanted to cry my eyes out. I wore girl's clothes and did what many considered a girl's activity. Ballet made me feel so happy, and yet I knew there would be consequences. The ballet teacher did tell the girls in the class not to tell others that I was doing ballet, but you know that some have a hard time not gossiping. This means I was worried that the whole school would know that I did ballet and even wore a girl's leotard and tights. Why did I agree to do ballet and risk the whole world knowing it? I was not ready for it.

I have been keeping a secret that I did not want the world to know. I am transgender and have accepted it. I thought that I could keep this in my head and let the world see me as a boy. When I was done with ballet, I felt like I was being myself and was happy that the girls at ballet did not tease me. I felt so bad when I came home because I thought that in a just and fair world, I should not be afraid to let others see that I was not a boy but I was a girl. However, I knew that the world was not like this, and I thought that keeping it a secret was the best. However, keeping a secret is extremely hard. It was something locked in my head wanting to come out.

I needed to tell someone, so I came early to the next ballet class. The girls never told anyone at school, so this made me feel that ballet was more like a family that I could trust. I trusted the ballet teacher, so I told the ballet teacher that I was transgender and did not want the world to know. The ballet teacher stayed quiet for a bit and then told me that there were many like me and that I was not alone. It takes a lot of courage to be transgender, as many do not understand it. However, keeping such a secret will only bring stress and unhappiness. So the ballet teacher advised me to tell someone that I love so I could find out a way to be the person that I am.

So after ballet, I went home, and while Granny was seeing some food program on TV, I blurted it out. I explained that I knew I had a boy's body, but I was not a boy. I was a girl in a boy's body. I was transgender. Then there was silence, and I was afraid of her reaction, as at times she could be very old-fashioned, and other times she could be modern. Granny finally said, “I love you for who you are. If you identify as a girl, then I will respect that and will support you as much as I can. Sometimes I think that it must be so hard being a child today. Children are influenced so much by influencers and social media. The LGBT+ movement is so visible nowadays, and at times this worries me. I even heard of a child identifying as a cat. Where did the child get this idea from? Listen to your heart and not others. Your heart will tell you who you are, and no matter who you are, you will always have my love and support.” I had tears in my eyes. That night, I slept with the porcelain doll with a smile on my face. It was such a relief that I opened up to Granny, and she supported me. This made me the luckiest girl on earth.

The next day, Granny picked me up from school and told me that we were going shopping for clothes. This confused me as we went shopping for clothes a few weeks ago. When we were at the shop, Granny took me to the clothing section and told me that it was time I stopped looking like a tomboy. I started crying from happiness again. Granny does not have a lot of money, and I knew she was using her emergency savings on me. She just wanted me to be happy. So for the next hour, Granny and I picked clothes from the girl's section. They were the prettiest dresses I had ever seen: leggings, shorts, tights, girly tops, nightdresses, panties, and sandals. The smile never left my face as I felt so happy.

When we were home, I tried on one of the dresses. Granny smiled when she saw me in it and proclaimed that now she knew I was a girl. She had never seen me as happy as I was and so radiant. Then she got serious and asked me if I wanted the world to know that I was a girl. I told her that I was not ready for that yet and did not know if I would ever be ready for this. It was decided that it must be me who decided if and when the world should know that I was transgender. There are so many transgenders that never tell the world and keep this side of them hidden, sometimes for all their lives. Until I was ready, the world could see me as a boy, and I could be a girl at home. This was the best solution.

Some at school could see a change in me. Samuel has been asking me several times if I was ok and if I needed to talk with him. I would say that I was perfectly fine until one day he asked me if it was true that I started ballet. He overheard some girls say that I was a good ballet dancer and that it was nice having a boy in ballet class. I think I must have gone white when Samuel asked me this and wanted the ground to swallow me up; however, I did manage to whimper that ballet is also for boys and begged Samuel not to tell anyone. Samuel told me that he admired me for doing something that I liked.

So now I was leading two lives. The world saw me as a boy, and at home, I was a girl. Needless to say, I was happiest when I was at home. This double life was not easy and often made me feel like a fraudster or something like that. As every day went by, I felt more and more uncomfortable as a boy. There was a sleepover soon at Ethan's, and to be honest, I wanted nothing more than to wear a nightdress and show my friends who I was. At the same time, I knew that this was a gamble, as I did not think that they would accept it.

I heard some people say the world today was more tolerant than it was decades ago, and this meant that people would accept that I was transgender. Why did I not feel that this was the case and the world would not accept me? In a way, I knew that I could not live a double life. Society wanted me to be the gender that I was born with, and my happiness did not mean much. That is probably why so many try to ignore they are transgender or live a double life like me. I knew that if I continued to live a double life, I would become frustrated and feel more crazy every day. When I did ballet, I was one of the girls, and they did not care how I was dressed or that I did ballet. They accepted me for who I was. I felt happy at ballet and wanted to feel like this all the time. It meant that I had to decide if I wanted to show the world who I was and not pretend anymore.

Remember I told you that I sent a letter to Nick Rose telling him that I was transgender? I never expected a letter back, but I got one. Here is a bit of what it said, “You are not alone. Many of us do not feel like the gender we were born with. I have chosen to let the world know that I am transgender, and this has not been easy. I have been mocked and told that I am weird and have been brainwashed by LGBT+ propaganda. If you decide to let everyone know that you are not a boy despite that you have a boy's body, you must be brave. It will not be easy, and some may not understand it. You must have courage. One thing I have learnt is that you will know who your friends are as they will support you. True friends do not care about your gender identity. They care for what is in your heart. I wish you the best of luck.”

So the sleepover at Ethan's house came. We did what we always did, such as games, gossiping, and watching YouTube videos. I was a bit nervous, but at the same time, I was happy that I was with friends. We have known each other for years and have always supported each other through times when someone was having a hard time, such as nagging parents, exam stress, and the worries that we have. I decided to remember this and follow Nick Roses and have courage. This sleepover would be the time when my friends knew who I was. Of course, I was nervous as to what the reaction would be. At the same time, I was relieved that I would no longer be keeping such an important secret.

When it was time to change into our pyjamas, I put on my unicorn nightdress. The three boys glared at me for a few minutes and then asked if this was a joke. I shook my head and told them that I was transgender. Ethan's answer was very blunt as he blurted out that I was not a girl. I mustered up all the courage and told my friends that I may have been born with a boy's body, but I had the mind, heart, and soul of a girl. I was not a boy. I was a girl, and I hoped that they would accept and respect it. Unfortunately, this did not happen. They started insulting, mocking, and insulting me, calling me every name under the sun. According to them, I was weird, misled, and a gay sissy boy.

It became too much for me, and I left the sleepover. Granny knew there was something wrong, and she guessed what it was when she saw me coming home wearing a nightdress. I went to my room and cried all night on my bed, thinking that my life was over and how stupid I could be for telling my friends. I should have just continued living my double life and kept my true identity to myself.

Granny told me that she suspected my revelation shocked my friends and they would understand me after they had some time to think about it. This did not happen, as at school the next day, my friends ignored me. When I tried to be with them, they made it known that I was not wanted. It did not take long for the whole school to know that I was transgender and that I even did ballet. This meant a lot of whispering and people asking why I was not wearing a dress or tutu. Some even asked if I still had a boy's body. Being teased and bullied was one thing, but being ignored felt worse. I was now an invisible transgender person that no one wanted to be around.

A few days ago, Ethan did talk with me, but it was not friendly. He informed me that the next sleepover should have been at my house; however, my friends decided it would be at another house. On top of this, I was not invited as they no longer wanted me at their sleepovers as I was now too weird, and they thought I was mentally ill. When he told me this, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. This meant that I no longer had any friends, and I was alone in the world.

This went on for a few weeks, and I was sad and depressed. Losing your best friends is like there is a hole in your heart. It's like the past experiences you had with them have been erased. Granny could see how sad I was and told me that I was the most courageous girl she knew. She did not think that anything was my fault, as I did nothing wrong except be honest about who I was. She thought it was my friend's fault, as they were so narrow-minded that they could not accept that I was transgender. Granny reminded me that I never hurt anyone and had a good heart, while the same could not be said for my friends.

One thing that Granny said that I will always remember is that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. This made me think that things could not get worse, but that could also be good, as this meant that there was always hope. I could be the victim, or I could be proud of who I was. I wanted to be happy, and I wanted to be true to myself. This meant I would lick my wounds and make the best of what life gave me.

This meant that I started wearing girl clothes at school and no longer lived a double life; I kept my chin up and showed the world that I did not care what they thought. I was not a bad person, and I had a right to show the world who I was. My friends still ignored me, but I accepted this despite that it still hurt. I continued doing ballet, and the girls from ballet became my best friends at school. My friends may have abandoned me, but I was making new friends.

Samuel wanted to speak with me one day, and he apologised for the way that he treated me. He told me that he told the others that he would not be going on their sleepover and carefully asked if he and I could have our own sleepover at my house. This made me smile, and we were both excited.

That's my story, and remember that there is always hope when things seem so dark, and be proud of who you are, even if you are different.

The end