Is Late Better than Never? Chapter 6
by Lily Rasputin
I honestly wasn’t the least bit surprised to learn that the club Maddie’s parents belonged to happened to be the ritziest, most expensive, and most exclusive one in Greensboro.
Pulling the Beemer into an empty spot not too far from the oversized putting green, I stared at the massive structure that was a living testament to wealth and privilege. As Mike, I had only been here once, at a gala charity fundraiser that one of the senior partners of Kelly’s firm was hosting.
I’d been forced to put on a constraining, boring black and white monkey suit while Kelly had wowed in a royal blue, off-the-shoulder, mermaid dress and matching heels.
The evening of smiling and pretending I wasn’t completely envious of her resulted in far too many glasses of champagne and a horrible next-day hangover.
Of course, tuxedos were now a thing of the past for me.
I climbed out of the car and smoothed the peach tennis skirt, the pleated panels brushing against the tops of my thighs. I found it, and several others in various colors, in Maddie’s closet. Their existence, along with the racket I also discovered, hinted that the former owner of my body must have played regularly.
If I was going to keep up with some parts of the Maddie Charade, I probably needed to learn the game.
In addition to the skirt, I had selected an off-white blouse and a peach-colored bow that held my hair back in a thick ponytail. I freely admit that I spent several long minutes staring at my reflection, marveling at the wonder and joy of actually being able to wear the outfits I’d long been denied. And looking cute in them to boot!
Grabbing my purse off the passenger seat, I slung it over my shoulder and headed into the club. The foyer was just as large and pretentious as I recalled, and the two women standing behind an ornate marble podium glanced up as I approached.
The younger, a blonde close to my own age smiled with an expression of glee at seeing me. She was dressed in a white tuxedo shirt and a pair of black slacks. The gold, oval pin affixed over her left breast identified her as “Stephanie”.
Her companion, a matronly looking woman in a black and gray skirt suit, only gave me a cursory glance before returning her attention to the paperwork on the hostess stand. When she lifted her face again, the aura of professional decorum whirled around her.
“Good morning, Miss Chambers. Your mother is awaiting you at her usual table.”
Usual table? From what I could recall, the country club had five dining rooms. Where the hell was Meredith’s “usual table”?
“Oh,” I said, trying to squeeze a clue out of the word. “Uh, she mentioned to me that she was thinking about sitting someplace new today. Weird.”
The older woman’s brow scrunched. “I can assure you, Miss Chambers, that she did not indicate such a preference to me.
“Carol,” the blonde said, looking at her colleague, “I was about to check with the chef about the menu for the Langham party. I will escort Miss Chambers to her mother.”
“Very well, Stephanie,” Carol replied, sounding like it wasn’t anywhere close to well in her mind. “Enjoy your lunch, Miss Chambers.”
“Thanks,” I said. Though it was directed more at the blonde than her haughty coworker.
Stephanie walked out from behind the desk and started down the left side hallway.
I walked beside Stephanie, trying not to gawk at the décor like someone who’d never been there before. Occasionally, I glanced over to see my escort looking at me with a weird, apprehensive expression on her face.
Was she waiting for me to say something? Did Maddie normally have casual banter with the Club’s staff?
Given what I knew of her mother, it was likely that chit-chatting with the “help” was probably not something that was condoned.
Right before we reached the ornate, oak double doors of the dining room, Stephanie stopped and looked at me with a pinched brow.
“Maddie, are you mad at me?”
I stopped as well and looked at her, blinking a few times before shaking my head. I mean, I wasn’t mad at her. Had Other Maddie been?
“I’m not mad at you, Stephanie. Honest.”
The pinched expression deepened, and her mouth formed a tiny pout.
“Stephanie? Really?”
I quickly glanced down at her nametag, confirming that I hadn’t heard the other woman incorrectly. When I glanced back up, the pout had worsened.
“Uh, really. I’m not mad or upset with you. Should I be?”
Please say no. Pretty please. I have enough drama to deal with as it is.
She shrugged. “I called you the other night to see if you were okay. But when you answered, all you said was that you didn’t want to talk to me. Then I found out from your mom that you did get the nanny job, but you said if you did we’d go out to celebrate.”
She sighed and shook her head. “It was bad enough you ghosted me. Now you’re back to calling me ‘Stephanie’.”
Uh-oh.
“I just … the other night was a really bad night for me. I thought my life was over.” Which to be honest, it was. “Then I got the job and got so busy trying to get everything settled at the Johnston’s that I completely forgot. I really didn’t mean to, uh, ghost you.”
Ghost meant ignore, right? I seemed to recall Sheila using the phrase multiple times in that context. God, I was not only going to have to learn to like mindless pop music, but I was also going to have to learn a whole new lexicon of slang.
Stephanie shrugged again. “So, do you want to get together later and talk about it?”
I nodded, though I really didn’t. “Sure. When and where?”
“I’m off at two. We could meet at the Shake Shack around three. Does that fit in your schedule?”
I thought about the kids’ bus schedule. Devon would be dropped off between 3:30 and 3:45, depending upon who was driving. Sheila wouldn’t be home until 4:30 or so. I didn’t want to not be there on my first day to greet Devon when he got home.
“Can we do two-thirty? I want to be back at the Johnston’s before the kids get home from school.”
She seemed to consider it a moment and nodded. “That’s doable.” Then she smiled in a most salacious manner. “Unless … you want to wait and meet up later after you put them to bed.”
Before I realized what she was doing, she reached out and ran her finger lightly down my bare arm. I shuddered and pulled my limb away as I stared at her. Almost immediately, a hurtful expression formed on her face.
“I’m sorry. I just …” She looked at my face, which still wore a shocked expression and sighed. “You know what, just never mind.”
“Steph,” I said, hoping that the shortened form of her name was the one that Maddie normally used, “don’t be mad.”
She moved past me and pulled open the door, gesturing for me to enter ahead of her.
Inside, there were several tables of diners seated around the room. Some were finished eating, some in the process, and some still waiting for their meals to arrive. No one was in jeans or anything that looked like it might have been purchased at Target.
The ability to spot designer attire was one of the few things about wanting to be a woman most of my life I could easily acquire.
Stephanie nodded her head toward the large bay windows on the other side of the room. On the terrace outside, I spotted Meredith sitting at a small table, her profile angled toward the interior while her gaze loomed across the manicured golf course located behind the clubhouse.
“Your mother is on the veranda awaiting you, Miss Chambers. Enjoy your lunch.”
“Steph,” I said again, but she simply turned and walked away without as much as a backward glance.
“What the hell was that all about,” I mumbled to myself before heading through the glass doors that led to the outside dining area.
Meredith wasn’t the only diner seated on the veranda, but the tables on either side of hers were empty. For some reason, I believed it was due more to other people not wanting to be near her than her not wanting to be near other people.
I walked over to the table, noticing the way that Meredith pretended to not notice my arrival, though the shift in her posture gave her away. However, since I was pretty much winging it, I decided to behave in a manner I suspected Maddie would have.
Cautious deference.
“Mother,” I said as I got to the table, drawing her attention slowly toward me. “You look lovelytoday.”
She glanced down at her attire, a dark green sleeveless dress, and then back to me. “Thank you, Madeline. I see you decided to dress a little closer to your station.” One perfectly plucked brow arched as she looked at my chest. “No Pride pins today?”
I frowned, pulling out the chair opposite hers to sit. It put me directly in the way of her inspection of the links. “I didn’t come here to start a fight.”
“That would be a first,” she replied.
I almost stood back up and walked away. This woman had obviously made her daughter’s life a living hell and I saw no reason why I should have to deal with her now that Maddie’s life was mine. However, given their dynamic, leaving would have likely made Meredith feel justified and superior.
The very least I could do for Maddie was refuse to cower to her mother’s attacks.
Apparently my motion, brief as it was, caught her attention. “Sit down, Madeline. Let’s try to at least have a civilized meal, shall we?” The arched brow rose higher. “Or do you need to get back to dirty diapers and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?”
I drew in a breath and clenched my fists tightly beneath the table. Meredith was attempting to get a rise out of me. Something that, judging by the texts and emails I’d read on Maddie’s phone, she enjoyed doing to her only child. The problem now was that I was not a brow-beaten nineteen-year-old.
Even if I did look like one.
“No, Mother, I do not. Devon and Sheila are currently in school. And given that they are ten and fourteen, there are no diapers. Dirty or otherwise.” I smiled as sweetly as I could and picked up the glass of ice water sitting in front of me and took a sip. “Plus, I happen to think that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are delicious.”
Meredith’s mouth puckered as if she’d just bitten into a rotten lemon. Apparently she was not expecting a Madeline that would give her sass back. I momentarily hoped she would be able to adjust to this change in her child, then decided that I really didn’t care.
“Well. I think you’re doing this just to spite me. Do you know that Margret Collingswood came up to me at Bridge this morning and told me that Caroline was spending her summer interning at her husband’s law firm. My daughter, however, has decided to become a daycare worker.”
I shrugged. “Well, you know what they say, Mother. Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” I set the glass down and picked up the menu, bound in a thick genuine leather binder. “Now, what shall I have today? Do you think the chef will make a PB&J, if I request it?”
It didn’t require looking up to know I’d gotten to her. The huff of annoyance told me enough.
As it turned out, I did not order the threatened PB&J. I actually ordered a cup of lobster bisque and a half of a club sandwich. Meredith ordered a cobb salad and a glass of Chablis.
As she sipped on her wine and waited for our food, she went on and on about this person and that person. Who was likely to get nominated for the Board, who was spotted with whose wife, and other assorted strands of sordid gossip that I sincerely doubted the former Maddie enjoyed hearing any more than I did.
When the waiter arrived with our plates, he was accompanied by an older gentleman in an expensive three-piece suit.
“Mademoiselles Chambers,” he said in a snooty French accent. “How good it is to have you dining with us again. Miss Madeline, it has been far too long since I have seen your lovely face.” He reached out and took my hand, placing a gentle kiss on the back of it. Releasing me, he stepped back and looked between us. “I trust everything so far has been to your satisfaction?”
Meredith nodded, some color rising into her cheeks. “Of course, Marcel. Impeccable as usual.”
Marcel smiled at her. The look was meant to be flirtatiously flattering and seemed to do its intended job on the woman across from me. Meredith’s flush became a blush, and I focused on eating my soup to keep from making an observational comment.
When he departed our table to schmooze with another, I glanced up from my appetizer and smirked at Meredith. “You know, you look just like I did the first time Becki kissed me. All crimson-faced nervous excitement. Something I should know about you and Monsieur Marcel?”
Meredith wrinkled her nose and glared at me. “Let’s not be crass while we’re trying to eat, Madeline. There’s nothing wrong with feeling appreciated by a handsome man. Lord knows your father doesn’t appreciate me the way he used to.”
“Sounds dire. Maybe you two should get divorced.” I set the spoon down in the empty cup. “If I get a choice, can I live with Dad?”
She set the wine glass down so hard I thought it was going to snap the stem off.
“That is enough. I do not know what has gotten into you today, Madeline, but it is going to stop right now. It is bad enough that you embarrass me in front of my friends with your lesbian experiments and decision to be a glorified servant, but you will not speak to me as if we are equals. You are my daughter, and you will afford me the respect that I am due as your mother.”
I gaped at her. The audacity was absolutely palatable. It was clear from what I’d discovered that Meredith expected the Mother-Daughter Respect Road to be a one-way street. No wonder Maddie had been so screwed up. Living with that for nineteen years must have been hell.
I mean, my parents hadn’t been saints, but if I’d had to grow up listening to Meredith arrogantly nitpick at every aspect of me, I probably would have swallowed a bunch of pills, too.
Sighing, I looked away from her. “As you wish.”
Luckily, our food kept our mouths mostly occupied for the rest of the lunch. When we were done, Meredith dabbed at the corner of her mouth with her napkin, then pulled a small, silver compact from her purse and checked her appearance.
I almost asked if she was primping for Marcel but decided reigniting the argument wasn’t conducive to the reason I’d agreed to this brunch in the first place. It had given me an even closer understanding of Maddie’s home life, at least when it came to dealing with her mother. I couldn’t place any bets that her father was any better, though I suspected that being attacked from two angles would have caused the teen to check out earlier than she did.
“Well, this has been delightful, Mother. However, I must be off. I have things to do before I resume my babysitting duties.”
She stared at me as if I’d reached over the table and slapped her. Something I was really, really eager to do.
“You aren’t going to have dessert?”
“No thanks,” I said with a smile I didn’t attempt to make less fake. If I had to spend another twenty to thirty minutes at the table with this woman, I was going to throw her over the railing.
The compact snapped closed. “Very well. If you must rush off.”
I nodded and stood. “See you on, uh, Tuesday.”
She frowned. “Tuesday?”
I frowned in response. “Tuesday … for dinner.” That was a weekly thing, right? Or had I just assumed based on Beth’s comment.
“I know what night our traditional family dinner is on, Madeline. But aren’t you forgetting Saturday? You agreed to come with us.”
“Where?”
Meredith sighed and shook her head. “I really do not know what has gotten into you lately. We are going shopping for Georgina’s dress.”
“Oh,” I said with a small nod. “I forgot that was this Saturday. I, uh, might have plans.”
Her already disappointed look dropped to an Arctic temperature. “You promised her that you would come. I swear, Madeline, you are really starting to worry me.” She arched a brow. “Are you still taking your medication? Maybe we should schedule an appointment with Dr. Barrow.”
Fuck.
I shook my head. “I’m fine, Mother. Yes, I’m still taking my medication. I just forgot that Georgina’s dress thing was this week. Uh, can you text me the time and place so I don’t forget again?”
Meredith pulled out her phone and began to type, shaking her head. “I swear, you are getting more and more like your father every day. I hope you’ll be lucky enough one day to find a man who knows how to keep you on track.”
Given that I finally saw an exit point to this whole rendezvous approaching, I didn’t think it was wise to remind her that I was a lesbian. Nor her daughter.
“Thank you, Mother. I’ll see you on Saturday.”
I stopped by the front desk on my way out but found only Carol working there. When I asked about Stephanie, the older woman merely shook her head. “She’s gone on break, Miss Chambers. Is there something I can do for you?”
“No, thanks,” I said. “I just wanted to say goodbye.”
She gave me a strange look, then nodded. “I will pass that on to her, Miss Chambers. Have a nice day.”
I glanced at my phone and deduced that I had plenty of time to swing by Maddie’s apartment and get some more things to bring to the house before Devon’s bus arrived.
When I pulled into the parking lot, I received a text from a number identified as “The Club”. Opening it, I read the message.
Sorry I was a bitch. I just don’t know what’s going on with us. Still meet this afternoon?
Stephanie.
I sighed and responded, letting her know that I could still join her at the Shake Shack as originally suggested. While I had zero interest in resuming whatever relationship she and Maddie had, I figured it might be a good idea to know exactly what that relationship was. To keep from getting blindsided again.
In the apartment, I found Beth sitting on the sofa watching a movie. She glanced over as I came through the door, then grinned.
“Good thing Jake and I weren’t in the middle of getting busy. That would have been embarrassing.”
I wanted to comment that she and the helpful and hunky Jake weren’t old enough to be “getting busy” on the living room sofa, then remembered my own forays in the Heing and Sheing during my first trip through life as a college freshman.
“Ew, don’t,” I said with a laugh. “I still live here on occasion, you know.”
Though, if things worked out, I would be at my former home on a completely permanent basis.
“You do?” Beth asked, her face attempting to be serious but failing miserably. “Guess I shouldn’t have turned your room into a sex dungeon then, right?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ve been gone a day, Beth. Even Stud Boy can’t remodel that fast.”
“He’s fast in other areas, though,” she said with a wink.
I shook my head. “You poor girl. No wonder you’re sexually frustrated.”
I dodged the pillow she threw at me and went into my bedroom.
I picked out another two weeks’ worth of clothing and the rest of my toiletries from the bathroom. However, since I hadn’t thought of bringing my suitcase back with me, I asked Beth if she had one I could borrow.
I didn’t understand the sheepish look on her face until she came out of her own room with a piece of luggage that looked exactly like the one I’d used, only slightly smaller.
“I meant to give this back to you after that trip to Cabo, but I forgot.”
I waved my hand. “It’s okay.” Then I gave her a little smirk. “Unless you and Jake were using it for salacious purposes. In that case, I suggest burning it.”
She handed me the bag and stuck her tongue out at me. “Don’t act like you and Becki never got up to freaky shit all of the …” She stopped speaking and looked at me with a guilty and apprehensive expression. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring her up.”
Shrugging, I gave her a slight smile. “It’s okay. We did what we did. As far as I’m concerned, that was a totally different Maddie. A fresh start would be good, right?”
“Absolutely.”
I went back into my room and stuffed as much as I could into the suitcase, then had to grab a cardboard box from the back of the closet to contain the rest. When I was ready to go, I took everything down to my car in two trips, then came back up to say goodbye to Beth.
“Remember, you promised that we were still going to hang out on the regular. I’m gonna hold you to that.”
I nodded. “I promised we’d get together on Friday, didn’t I?”
“You did.” She stepped forward and gave me a hug. “See you on Friday, Mads.”
When I got down to my car, I realized I’d left my phone on the passenger seat. Picking it up, I saw I had one missed call and one missed text.
The text was from Stephanie.
Running @ 10 min late. Wait 4 me?
The voicemail was from Becki.
“Hey, Mads. Just calling to see what you’re doing and how your first night as a nanny went. Give me a call when you can. Love you.”
As I pulled out of the parking lot, I started to fear that extricating myself from Becki was going to be harder than I originally hoped. I could only imagine how turbulent the relationship between her and Maddie had been, especially when I factored in the recently discovered knowledge that my body’s former owner had been carrying on an affair with Stephanie.
I pulled into the Shake Shack around ten after two, parking next to a white Jeep. When I got out and walked around it toward the building, I noticed it had a pink vanity plate on the front. “STEFFIE.”
Okay, it looks like Stephanie preferred Steffie over Steph. If Maddie knew that, it would explain why I’d gotten such a response at the club. When I stepped inside the air-conditioned shop, I let out a tiny gasp as the cold air easily slipped through the thin material of the blouse and the bra beneath.
Who knew nipples could turn instantly painful.
Stephanie (Steffie) was standing at the counter, facing me. Behind her, a guy who looked to be in his late 20s leaned forward, his dark brown eyes sliding off her onto me.
Well, onto my boobs, to be exact.
I brought my arms up in a partial blockade of his leer and that seemed to change his focus to a part of my body further north.
“I ordered you a cookies and cream with chocolate syrup,” Steffie said as I closed the distance between us. “That’s still your favorite, right?”
For the record, I’ve never been a fan of cookies and cream. Hopefully I could pretend otherwise in order to keep the facade going.
“Most definitely,” I replied, reaching into my purse for my debit card and handing it to the guy. “But this is my treat. Since I wasn’t the most receptive earlier.”
She gave me a weird look, then shook her head. “No, it was my fault. I should have considered the fact that if you were meeting your mom, you weren’t going to be in the best of moods. I guess I was just a little paranoid that you’d decided not to break up with your girlfriend.”
I squeezed my jaw shut and fought against the surprised expression aching to dance across my face. If Maddie had already planned to break up with Becki, then why the whole downward spiral to suicide when it actually happened? Was there something I didn’t know that happened that night, or had Maddie just been lying to Steffie? Stringing her along with the hope that the two of them could be an official couple?
The more I learned about Maddie’s former life, the less I was beginning to understand. It was far more convoluted and complex than I initially realized. The girl should have been more focused on dealing with the problems in her life before rushing out to add to them.
Of course, that was pretty rich coming from someone who used a wishing coin to try and fix their life.
“No,” I said. ‘We broke up the other night. It just hit me a little harder than I expected. I’m going to need a little time to get my head on straight.”
Stephanie nodded. “Understandable. Just …” She smiled sadly at me. “Don’t take too much time.”
“I won’t.” I’ll just take as much time as it takes for you to latch onto someone else and forget about me.
We sat in a booth with our desserts. She had her back to the guy at the counter, so she wasn’t privy to the way he hung around the end closest to us, cleaning and re-cleaning the display case. I couldn’t tell if he was an ordinary creeper or not, but I gave him a hard glare the one time our eyes met. After that, he moved a few feet further down and stopped looking our way.
“What’s it like being a nanny?”
I shrugged. “Like being a surrogate parent, I guess. I just started yesterday, so I’m still trying to figure out where I fit into the family dynamic.”
“God, you’re so lucky. I would love to have a job where I could work with a loving family. Rather than all the rich, spoiled assholes that I deal with daily.” Frowning, she looked at me. “Present company accepted.”
“Surely they’re not all bad.”
She shook her head. “No. But the ones that are overshadow the ones that are nice.”
“Like my mother?” I had no doubts Meredith Chambers was one of the most unpleasant people to have to provide service to.
“She’s pretty bad, yeah. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. She’s a grade-A bitch.”
Stephanie laughed and reached out to place her hand onto mine. While I didn’t really care for the physical contact from a girl I barely knew, I didn’t want to cause another scene like in the hallway at the country club. When she started stroking her thumb over the back of my hand, I merely sucked on my straw and tried to look comfortable.
“Joan’s team is playing Saturday afternoon at the Special Events Center. Wanna go with me?”
“Uh, I don’t know if I can.”
She frowned. “Why?”
“I’ve got this dress shopping thing with my mom on Saturday.”
“What time?”
I pulled out my phone and looked at the text Meredith had sent. It merely read: Georgina.11:00am. 1304 Lawndale Avenue.
“Eleven.”
“Well, it doesn’t start until three. You’ll be done by then, right?”
I sincerely hoped so. Not that I wanted to spend any more time with Stephanie, but if I had to endure Meredith’s barbs and arrows for four hours, I wasn’t going to be in any condition to do much more than get really stinking drunk.
“Probably, but I don’t know if Mrs. Johnston is going to need me to watch the kids. She said something this morning about working on a really big case, so I might have to keep the kids busy.”
Stephanie shrugged. “So, bring ‘em. They’ll have a blast. I mean, what kid doesn’t like roller derby?”
I felt my eyes widen in surprise. “Roller derby?”
Comments and thoughts accepted at [email protected]
Is Late Better than Never? Chapter 7
by Lily Rasputin
I got home about ten minutes before Devon’s bus arrived. I waved to him as it pulled to a stop and the doors opened. Bouncing off the steps, he ran over and gave me a hug. As I hugged him back, it dawned on me that his attitude since my return had been overtly friendly. Not that he was a shy kid to begin with. It just seemed like he was extraordinarily excited that I was here.
Was this a result of Namira’s magic? Or, more sobering, was this the result of six months of living in the storm that was constantly raging between Kelly and Sheila? Did he see me as a safe point in the tempest?
“Hey, Kiddo,” I said, “how was school?”
“Boring,” he replied as he released his grip on my waist and took my hand, beginning to walk us in the direction of home.
“Boring? Come on. I bet you can tell me three things you learned if you think about it.”
He looked up at me and smiled. “You sound like my dad.”
I froze for a moment, then resumed walking as I hoped my face didn’t look as pale as it felt. “What do you mean?”
“He always used to say that we always learn more than we thought we did. All we have to do was remember.”
“Oh,” I said, putting on a tight smile. “Sounds like your dad was a pretty smart guy.”
He nodded. “The smartest.”
Did the praise make me feel better? Of course. But it also made me sad that I never told him just how smart I thought he was. I could do it now, as Maddie, but it probably wouldn’t be the same.
We walked into the house, and I made him hang his bookbag on the hook in the hallway. “What do you want for a snack? Apple slices and peanut butter?”
Devon gave me a surprised look. “How did you know?”
This time, I had a believable answer. I pointed at the fridge, where Kelly’s instructions for Maddie hung. “Your mom left me a cheat sheet.”
He laughed and nodded as he grabbed his tablet from the charging stand and sat at the table. “Thank you, Maddie.”
“You’re so very welcome, Kiddo.”
While Devon happily munched on his snack, I tidied up the kitchen and took some ground beef out of the freezer to defrost for dinner. I really wanted to make the cheeseburger casserole my family used to clamor for on a regular basis. However, I was well aware that I had slipped up several times already. My knowledge of Michael’s secret recipe might really set off alarm bells.
By the time Sheila got home, I was following a recipe I’d found for meatloaf meatballs and dicing up bell peppers. Devon was outside jumping on the trampoline, burning off what seemed to be limitless energy when the front door slammed hard enough to come off the hinges.
When she walked into the kitchen, she froze and stared. Almost as if she wasn’t sure why I was standing behind the island cutting up vegetables. Then the surprised expression faded, replaced by the sneer of disdain I was beginning to think was her default mode.
Smiling, I put the knife down. “Welcome home. How was school?”
Rather than acknowledge my greeting, she unslung her backpack and dropped it on the floor next to the doorway before walking to fridge to grab a soda.
“Sheila, how was school? Did you have a good day?”
She turned slowly towards me. “What do you care? Do you get a bonus for asking?”
“Nope,” I said, pushing a smile onto my face. Much like with Meredith, I decided that not letting her see she was pushing my buttons might be the best option. “I’m genuinely interested.”
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously for a moment, then she turned and walked out of the room.
“That could have gone better.” I sighed and resumed my task.
I had just put the finished meal in the oven to bake when the phone on the counter rang. The house line. I picked up the receiver, but Sheila screamed down from the top of the stairs.
“I got it!”
I shot a suspicious glance to the ceiling. Sheila had gotten her own cellphone for her twelfth birthday. Afterwards, she was notorious for ignoring the ringing of the house phone. To the point where Kelly and I had to remind her that just because the call wasn’t coming in specifically for her didn’t mean she didn’t have a responsibility to answer it.
I glanced at the receiver again as it released another shrill ring. The Caller ID read: GCS.
Guilford County Schools.
I pressed the answer button and put the device to my ear.
“Good evening,” the robotic voice of the automatic message said. “Sheila Johnston was absent from three periods today. This is a reminder that excessive absences will result in lowering of a student’s grades. Goodbye.”
The call terminated, and I stared at the phone in my hand.
Sheila had been absent from three classes today. What the hell?
I put the phone back in its cradle just as the student in question bolted into the room.
“Did you answer the phone?”
Shaking my head, I walked over to the pantry and grabbed a bag of potatoes to go with the meatloaf. “You said you were getting it.” I threw a deliberately confused expression her way. “Didn’t you answer it?”
She paused for a moment, studying me. As Mike, I could never lie to my daughter. She always knew my tells, and could separate my lies from the truths. However, Maddie was a wild card.
“No. If they call back, I’ll get it.”
I nodded. “Of course. Would you like to help me with the potatoes?” I knew it was a long shot, but part of me hoped she would accept the offer.
“No way. You’re the maid, remember?” Then she departed and went back up to her room.
Kelly got home just as I was finishing up the mashed potatoes. When she came into the kitchen, looking only slightly less harried than yesterday afternoon, she stopped and took a deep inhale.
“I don’t know what you made for dinner, Maddie, but I already know I’m going to love it.”
I grinned. “Meatloaf meatballs, mashed potatoes, and snow peas.” I walked over and took the briefcase from her hand. “Why don’t you take a moment and relax while I get everything plated?”
The look of barely constrained relief swam across Kelly’s face, knocking some of the haggardness away. She smiled and gave me a little nod.
“I really shouldn’t. However, today’s been the Day from Hell, and if I can just get fifteen minutes to breathe …”
Putting my hand on her shoulder, I gently nudged her toward the stairs. “Go. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”
Kelly hesitated for a moment, then relented after a couple of seconds’ indecision. “Okay. Thanks, Maddie. I appreciate it.”
“Of course.”
By the time I’d gotten everything plated and set on the table, Kelly had changed into a pair of jeans and one of my old sweatshirts, and was sitting leaning against the island with a glass of wine. One that was already mostly empty.
“Are you sure I can’t help, Maddie? You’re the nanny, not my slave.”
I laughed as I poured a glass of milk for Devon. “It’s not being a slave, Kelly. It’s helping out. I mean, you worked all day in that nest of backstabbing vipers. All I did was get the kids out the door and bring them home after.” I put loaded plates at all the place settings.
When I turned back around, the glass in her hand was empty and her hand was reaching for the nearby bottle of cabernet. I opened my mouth to remind her that two glasses of red back to back was going to give her a hell of headache in the morning. Then I reminded myself that Kelly’s reaction to red wine isn’t something my new self would know.
“It’s ready. I’ll call the kids down.”
“Good luck,” she said as she pushed off the island and walked to her chair. “I’ve not been able to get Sheila to eat with us for over a month now.”
I frowned, but then smiled. “I think I know how to convince her.”
Walking upstairs, I found Devon lying on his bed, playing with a Lego Tie-fighter.
“Dinner’s ready, Solo,” I said with a little laugh. “Best get downstairs before you end up encased in Carbonite.”
He grinned and put down the model. “Let’s hope the Force is with me.” He ran past me and went downstairs as fast as he could.
Grinning, I turned to see Sheila standing in her doorway, giving me a massive stink-eye look.
“Dinner’s ready, Sheila.”
She gave me an angry glare and turned to walk back into her room, closing the door behind her. I quickly moved across the hall and placed my hand on the door, keeping it open.
“I said that dinner was ready.”
“I’ll eat later,” she said, attempting to push the door closed.
While I was nowhere as strong as I’d been as Mike, I was still stronger than a pissy fifteen-year-old. I kept the door open and stared at her with a little smirk on my face.
“Why don’t you come down and eat now? I’ve already made you a plate and everything.”
She pushed harder but only managed to move the door an inch or two. “Leave me alone!”
I nodded. “I think you’ve punished your mother and brother enough. Are you hurting? Of course you are. But they’re hurting, too. You’re fighting against them when you all should be supporting and comforting each other.”
“What would you know about it? You’re just some rich bitch who took this job to feel important. Why don’t you do us all a favor and quit?”
Rich bitch? How did Sheila know that Maddie’s family had money? Was it the car? That didn’t necessarily equate to wealth. I also didn’t recall mentioning my having lunch at the country club. Had she done some type of background check on Maddie? Social media, perhaps.
“I can’t do that, Sheila. I’m not going to do that.”
Her upper lip curled back into that sneer I was beginning to thoroughly despise. “How about you just fuck off? Leave me alone.”
I leaned closer. “I don’t want to be enemies, Sheila. I would actually like for us to be friends.” I nodded my head toward the stairs. “However, if you do not come downstairs for dinner and behave in a civilized, respectful manner, I will have no choice but to inform your mother that you’ve been ditching classes.”
The way her mouth dropped open, and her eyes widened, told me that she hadn’t expected her secret to get out. After a second or two, her face turned crimson, and her jaw clenched tightly.
“I told you that I would be answering the phone.”
I shrugged. “Sorry. Isn’t taking phone calls what the maid does?” I stopped holding the door open. “Five minutes. Make your choice.”
Turning, I walked away and back downstairs. When I stepped into the kitchen, Devon was already chowing down, but Kelly looked despondent.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I knew she was already pretty mad at me before I suggested getting a nanny. I just didn’t think she would let that anger carry over to a stranger.”
I waved my hand and took my seat at the table, picking up my knife and fork.
“It’s okay. We had a little chat. She’ll be down in a minute.”
Kelly gave me a sympathetic and skeptical nod, picking up her own utensils. She had just cut a piece of meatloaf and was putting it in her mouth when Sheila walked in and sat down across from her.
“Who made the meatloaf?” She asked, looking at me.
“I did. I haven’t tried it yet, so let me know what you think.” I turned my gaze to the others. “What all of you think, actually. If it’s horrible, let me know and I’ll never make it again.”
Kelly stared at Sheila for a few more moments before looking my way and mouthing ‘how?’
I shrugged casually and resumed eating. When everyone was done, I stood up and looked at Sheila. “How about helping me clear the table?”
She shot me a look, and I half-expected her to remind me that I was the servant, not her. However, she sighed and stood up, leaning over to grab Devon’s empty plate. I got Kelly’s and carried them over to the sink, placing them in the basin. Sheila followed suit, then looked at me.
“Can I go back to my room now? Or is there something else I have to do?”
I looked over at Kelly, arching a brow.
“Homework as soon as you get in there, if you haven’t already done it.”
When she left, and Devon had gone into the living room, Kelly stood up and walked over to me, still looking incredulous.
“I don’t know what you said to her, Maddie, but good job.”
I shrugged and started cleaning off the dishes. “It’s just one dinner. Let’s not jump with glee before we check the landing.”
Kelly sat her mostly empty wine glass on the side of the sink. “I’m going upstairs. Put them to bed?”
“Of course,” I said, looking at her with a smile. “Happy to.”
When I saw the perplexed expression on her face, my grin fell away. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said in a way I felt was far too quick. “Good night, Maddie.”
She walked briskly out of the kitchen, said a quick goodnight to Devon, and went upstairs.
I cleaned up the kitchen, put the extra food into containers for leftovers, and then sent Devon up to take a bath. While he got undressed, I ran a tub full of hot water and added a bunch of bubble bath. When he came in wearing a thick blue robe adorned with Pokémon creatures, his eyes bulged at all the suds.
“Awesome. Thanks, Maddie.” He gave me a hug. “You’re the best!”
I smiled and returned the hug, feeling my eyes begin to water with tears. It might only seem like a couple of days since I’d seen him, but the thought that he’d had to go without me for so long tore at my heart.
“Get in, kiddo. Keep the water in the tub as much as you can. Be sure to wash, too. Not just play.”
I left the room and closed the door, leaving it slightly ajar in case he needed help, and went to Sheila’s room. I knocked as I tried the handle, surprised that it wasn’t locked.
She was lying on her bed, scrolling through her phone. When she saw it was me and not Kelly, the surprised look on her face at the interruption turned to anger.
“Come to blackmail me some more?”
I shook my head. “No. I only did that to get you to come to dinner. I’m not going to continue to hold it over your head.”
“Then what do you want?”
I walked over and sat down on the corner of her bed, taking a quick glance around the room. It wasn’t just her appearance and attitude that had changed over the past six months.
The pink curtains around the single window were gone, leaving only the valor blinds to block out the light from the setting sun. The posters of pop stars she idolized had been torn down, with the corner of one still affixed to the wall next to the closet. The bed itself was disheveled, as though it hadn’t been made that morning.
It was not the room of the happy, carefree teen that I remembered living in it.
When my gaze returned to Sheila, she was still staring at me, awaiting a response to her question.
“Where did you go?” I asked. “You ditched class. So where were you?”
“None of your business.”
I nodded slowly. “I’m sure you believe that. But I would think that your mom would believe otherwise. I’m positive that she would consider knowing where you are during the day a fundamental part of my job.”
She huffed and looked back down at her phone. Effectively ignoring me.
I think it was the fact that her behavior was so un-Sheila-like, that I was having trouble actually being angry. I had been gone, and she had not handled my absence well at all. Getting irate and authoritative would only push her further into her anger.
“Well, I would appreciate you staying at school. If you keep ditching, I will have to tell her.”
She didn’t respond. Instead, she continued to scroll on her phone.
“Good night, Sheila. Don’t stay up too late.”
I left the room and checked on Devon, reminding him to actually wash. After securing a promise that he would (something I amusingly doubted), I went back to my new room.
A buzzing noise from the bed drew my attention, and I realized that I’d been so preoccupied with making dinner and dealing with Sheila that I had left my phone in the room. When I picked it up, I saw that it was Becki. I declined the call and shook my head.
“Why can’t she just accept that she and Maddie broke up and move on?” I said aloud softly. “This is just additional complications I don’t need right now.”
Sitting on the bed, I checked the call log. Between the time I’d started making the meatloaf and right now she’d called nearly a dozen times. I opened the messaging app and saw nearly twice that many texts. Pretty much all saying the same thing.
Call me.
I turned the phone off and laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Namira had done a number, sticking me in the middle of a life worthy of a teen drama show. Why couldn’t she have found a shy, quiet loner orphan to stick me into? Someone with no outside attachments or entanglements. Then I could have focused more on fixing my kids’ lives and less on mitigating Maddie’s.
When I was sure the water had to be cold, I knocked on the bathroom door and insisted Devon get out and get dressed. After getting him to brush his teeth and tucking him in, I returned to my room and got ready for bed myself.
Pulling the covers up to my neck, I tried to plan out a way to ditch Becki and Steffie, avoid dealing with Meredith, and throw myself fully into being the best nanny I could. Unfortunately, sleep overtook me before I could even come close to solving any of those issues.
The next morning, Kelly was already gone by the time I’d woken Devon and Sheila and made it downstairs. When I checked my phone upon entering the empty kitchen and finding her mostly empty mug sitting on the counter, I found a text message.
Called in to emergency meeting this morning. Might be home late. Devon has soccer.
I frowned. Whenever Kelly had had to rush off early in the morning for an emergency meeting, it usually meant that a case wasn’t going her way and the senior partners wanted to do a thorough damage assessment. I remembered her coming home late on many an evening, looking like she’d just been put through the wringer.
Somehow, I doubted she would be up to letting Maddie give her the tension-releasing, full body massage that Mike used to.
I sent back a text that I would handle everything on the home front and that I hoped her day wasn’t too stressful.
Devon wasn’t excited to learn his mom had already left, but Sheila actually seemed pleased. Not that she actually admitted such. It was just in the way her scowl seemed to lessen when she found out, and the way she gave Devon’s hair a loving tussle before going back to giving me the stink-eye.
After the kids were off to school, I decided to do laundry. I didn’t have enough to do a full load, and I didn’t want to wash Kelly’s things without checking with her first, so I settled for only emptying the kids’ hampers. I put Devon’s clothes in first, then went to grab Sheila’s.
As I was transferring the dirty items from the hamper in the closet to the empty basket on the bed, I spotted a composition book mostly hidden between two shoe boxes on the shelf over my head. Only the top two-thirds was poking out, but I could cleaning make out the single word written in black Sharpie.
“Journal.”
Sheila had taken up writing in a daily diary just after her eleventh birthday. She told me once that it helped her organize her thoughts and let her work through her fears and worries. When I asked how she’d come by such wisdom, she responded with the name of some television show I barely had knowledge of.
This was Sheila’s diary. But was it an old one, or the current one? Were her feelings and thoughts on my death and her blame of Kelly for it in there? Maybe her true thoughts on the nanny who’d been thrust into her life without her consent?
I turned the book over in my hands several times, feeling the bonfire of curiosity burning inside me. As Mike, I’d never even entertained the thought of reading her private musings. Our bond had been so close that I knew, without question, she would come to me with anything more serious than an unrequited crush. Or a stupid tiff with a friend.
But I wasn’t there anymore to be her supportive, non-judgmental, sounding board. She had only the journal.
After a few moments of contemplation, I put the personal tome back where it was. Maddie needed to earn Sheila’s trust and acceptance. Reading her diary would definitely not help in that endeavor. I grabbed the rest of her clothing, picked up the basket, and left her room (and the diary) behind.
The phone rang while I was eating lunch. Sighing, I swiped my thumb across the screen and put it to my ear. “Hey, Steffie,” I said, trying to sound much more pleased than I felt.
“What the fuck, Maddie? You didn’t break up with Becki?”
Oh shit. “What?”
“Your crazy, not-ex girlfriend just accosted me in the club parking lot! She was all up in my face telling me to stay away from her girlfriend. Fuck! I thought she was going to punch me or something.”
“Uh, shit. How does she know about you?”
“She followed you to the goddamned ice cream shop yesterday and saw us together!”
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
“I’m sorry,” I said, actually feeling a bit sorry for the girl. “I didn’t know she would do that.”
The short laughing bark of Steffie’s reply told me that she wasn’t anywhere as surprised as I was. “You’re joking, right? You already told me that she’s insanely jealous and unstable. Your words, Maddie, not mine. Goddamnit! That’s why I didn’t want to be with you anymore until you two were done. I don’t need this shit in my life.”
“Steffie…”
“No. No more bullshit, Maddie. Don’t call me, text me, or speak to me until you’ve kicked that psycho bitch to the curb. If you would rather be with her than me, fine. But I’m not getting in the middle of a lover’s quarrel.”
Then the call terminated.
I wasn’t totally upset about the fact that Steffie didn’t want to see me anymore. Hell, that solved part of my current dilemmas. What bothered me was the report that Becki had been following me yesterday? Had she followed Maddie before I took over? Is that what their big fight the night of Maddie’s suicide was about?
I also didn’t like the implications that Becki was dangerous. How far would she go off the rails if I broke up with her again? Would she hurt me? Try to hurt one of the kids? Not knowing how much Steffie’s assessment of her rival’s mental state was fact and how much just jealous opinion bothered me.
When the laundry was done and put away, I turned my attention to deciding on what to make for dinner. Devon’s soccer practice ran from 5 until 7, and Kelly’s return time was unknown, so it had to either be something I could throw together quickly, or something I could prepare now and reheat later.
Examining the contents of the fridge, I came up with the idea of doing something like a southwestern chicken dish I remembered someone brought to a potluck picnic Kelly’s firm hosted a couple of years ago. There wasn’t any chicken in sight, nor any in the freezer. Glancing at the clock, I calculated that I had about an hour and a half until I needed to meet Devon at the bus.
I quickly changed into a clean T-shirt and leggings, grabbed my purse and car keys, and headed to the grocery store.
About a half a mile from the house, I noticed the dark green Toyota behind me was making all the same turns. Even going so far as to take the residential shortcut down two private streets.
My palms began to sweat as I considered that it was Becki following me again. Had she been lying in wait down the street. Hoping that I would leave so she could find out where I was going? The implications that getting rid of her wasn’t going to be as easy as I’d hoped made my stomach twice into knots. I wasn’t a violent person before I turned into a cute college coed, and I didn’t think I could really do much if Becki decided to get physical with me.
When I pulled into the parking lot of the shopping center, the Toyota continued on, crossing through the intersection and vanishing over a small rise. Breathing a sigh of relief, I pulled into a spot near the entrance of the grocery store and sat for a bit, letting my nerves settle a bit.
Inside, I almost threw up a hand in greeting at the young man working in the produce section. Gregory had been a lifeguard at the neighborhood pool in high school and had been the one to give both Sheila and Devon swimming lessons. I’d kept in touch with him after he’d gone to college, even going so far as to write a letter of recommendation for an internship which, unfortunately, he didn’t get.
However, since I figured I would get a much different response as a pretty girl close to his own age, I merely walked past him and headed toward the meat section. I selected a couple of packages of chicken, grabbed some flour tortillas, and went back through the vegetables to pick up a couple of bell peppers and some onions.
I had just finished bagging the produce when I sensed someone standing over me. Expecting it to be Gregory, I gathered my nerves and turned around.
Instead, I found myself looking up into the face of a man much older than Gregory. His jet-black hair was cropped close to his skull and peppered with a generous amount of gray. He was dressed in a pair of khaki slacks and a dark blue polo shirt, and his eyes (which were both sort of familiar and completely focused on mine) were an intense shade of lavender.
I opened my mouth to ask if I could help him, preparing to scream at the top of my lungs should I feel threatened when he reached out and took hold of my upper arm. An electric-like tingle shot up the limb, almost like a static shock. I’d barely registered the sensation when he leaned in even closer, his gaze scrutinizing me even more.
“Mike?” He breathed with a sense of wonder and amazement. “Holy shit. It is you.”