Authors Note: This story is fifteen chapters in length, each similar in their word counts. Thank you for considering to read this story.
Root CGD: 3288.29
CinT Ark Loc: Y2CAL.21.F
“I can give you another hit, but I’d recommend against it…”
I wanted another badly, had asked for it even though I knew another would make it impossible to think. Cheryl looked worried; that meant there was something else wrong, and it had nothing to do with me or my wanting some relief from whatever was trying to rip my insides apart.
“ssship?” I asked, instantly gasping in pain after getting that question verbalized.
I needed that second ‘hit’ of Senian to dull whatever this pain was, but I needed to know the ship's status before I considered letting my mind go to mush on some alien planets narcotic.
“The Q-tacts down, and we’re adrift. We’re using the docking thrusters to keep us steady in the hole. Life support, shields, coms, and long-range scanners are all operational on the backup cells. We’ve requested support from Libat III, and a ship should be here within the hour to cup-link us back to that station for repair,” she reported with the efficiency I’d come to appreciate over the five CGD years she’d been my First Officer on the Barrow Gar.
That this tub of a space freighter being without its main propulsion systems, the archaic Q-tact hybrid nuclear power plant, was a problem, but she was a tough old girl. It likely wouldn’t take too much to get her operational again once in port—though I was sure it would cost me a heap of coin, credits, and likely a few future smuggling favors to get the job done right and ahead of other paying customers. The Barrow Gar was a long forgotten class of freighter considered a heap of scrap by those who dared to try making a living traversing space delivering supplies with her. Most of her siblings had been scuttled long ago, and I’d only seen one other of her kind long ago when I was in my late teens.
Her saving grace was how efficient she was at her role—when she was running well. She could take a kick in the proverbial ass most modern-day ships couldn’t and still get you to your destination. Deep space wasn’t someplace you wanted to break down, and generally speaking, she rarely did. That meant whatever hit us was certainly big and hadn’t done our propulsion system and ultimately our delivery schedule any favors.
More problematic, this deep into the Marris Wormhole, was maintaining our position within it. I should be piloting the ship, but knew with someone as skilled as Marcus at the helm he’d be able to keep us from the walls of the wormhole and prevent it from ripping the ship apart—even if he had to do that with just the docking thrusters. At least there was a bright side to whatever was trying to rip my innards to shreds.
I closed my eyes for a second to navigate the pulsing, burning torture happening within my body, and when I opened them again, Cheryl’s face said there was more she needed to tell me. Fuck me! Seriously?!
“Go,” I croaked, asking for what was sure to be more bad news.
“You’re not the only one who’s down, sir,” she said steadily and with a touch of remorse in her tone.
Wait a second, others are like this, but you’re not... It dawned on me that she appeared to be fine, but I wasn't, and she was saying there were others of my crew experiencing this condition I was in—shit!
“Woo…,” I couldn’t finish my question and stiffened as the pain rolled deep beneath my skin and into every muscle. I felt the burning intensify, the tearing sensation, the… “Fuck!” I hissed painfully and clamped my eyes shut as I stiffened to ride out another wave of excruciating pain.
“Whatever hit us did us no favors. Best guess right now is it was some kind of conductive particle wave well above Y-Gama state the sensors weren’t able to pick up or give us any advanced warning of before it hit. The computer hasn’t yet identified where it originated from, which is odd because we’re alone out here as best I can tell. The standard shields were ineffective at that pulsing band, and, well, that only adds to the questions of how that strike was even possible.”
“Masked ship?” I barely got that out and gulped in a quick breath, releasing it in little huffs that did nothing to squelch how much I was actually hurting.
“No and no propulsion signatures, gases, particles or anything else for that matter, according to the sensors. It could have come from outside the wormhole, but if that’s the case, it would be a first and mean we’re dealing with advanced tech from a very advanced alien species. All I can be certain of is that it was a powerful strike to have taken out the Q-tact’s hardened control modules. Do you remember anything unusual going on before we were hit?”
With my eyes closed again, I slowly nodded that I didn’t. The last thing I remember doing was running a check on a subspace beacon relay code for an anomaly and waking up in my small stateroom in blinding pain. That pain wasn’t dulled at all, even though I’d been given a hit of Senian, and that this drug had done next to nothing to alleviate the pain – told me I was going to be screwed for a bit longer unless I could get Cheryl to give me another ‘hit’ of it.
Not that I’d wish this pain on anyone, but I was wondering why she wasn’t suffering.
“You… Not?” I nearly cried after asking that, clenching my fists tight against my thighs, fearing any additional movement I made would cause me to blackout.
“None of the women seem to have been affected,” she said solemnly. “You’re the last, sir...”
Women weren’t affected? I’m the last. The last what? I involuntarily rolled left and then right to ride out another onslaught of the burning, muscle piercing pain I felt within me. When it subsided, I looked at her, my sweat-soaked face likely pleading for her to make this pain stop in any way possible.
“You’re the last male crew member,” she whispered.
Huh?! Marcus, Greg, Lance, and that little shit of a load master Blake we hired on Cabot-Loch before this trip were all dead? Is that what she meant to report?
“Dehd?”
It was the best I could pronounce the word ‘dead’ in question form before the pain took my breath away, and I moaned uncontrollably. When I could finally refocus on her face, she could only nod that they were all dead. What the fuck?! Who is at the…
“Dee,” she said, knowing the concerned look on my face and that I wanted to know who was piloting the ship.
“You should be...,” I couldn’t help but suck in a strained breath while grimacing as I tried and finally got out the rest of my complaint, “Piloting...”
“Dee will be fine for a couple minutes. Alarms will be going off if she screws anything up, and I’ll be up there quick enough.
“Look, a second hit of Senian is what put the other guys down for good. We weren’t very good about monitoring who got what and when. If I wanted to go out, that’s how I’d want it—not feeling a damn thing. They’re all in stasis pods now though, so we can preserve brain function until we can get them revived at Libat III’s medical facility.
“Computer analysis says our hormone differences may be what kept the women from being in the same state as the men. I’ve synthesized those properties from a blood draw, and if you take it, well, it could make this easier on you until we can get you to Libat III without the risk of Senian knocking you out permanently and maybe having to deal with residual revival complications of dying and being brought back at some point.
“You need to know that hormones in space are a crap shoot and tend to work differently than on Terra firma. Certainly anything can be reversed, but I wanted you to know the score here before you decide, Cameron.”
The concern in her face spoke volumes, and that she was calling me by my full first name, a rarity in and of itself from her usual ‘Sir’ or ‘Captain’ or occasionally ‘Cam’, confirmed she was concerned about the choice I was going to make. I could go with Senian and likely die in peace like the other male members of my crew and wait to be revived with potential long-lasting side effects or possibly get some relief by taking on female hormones until we made it to Libat III and the medical facility there.
My choices feel awful fucked up either way...
“Do it,” I croaked softly.
I watched her place the medi-ject instrument against my neck and press the button all in one fluid motion. No countdown, no candy coating the sting of the contents of the injection being delivered subcutaneously.
Ridiculously, I had hoped there’d be some instant relief, but there wasn't, and I ended up ridding another round of crippling pain coursing through my body while she prepared me for a stasis pod to wait out the cup-link ship arrival and the towing of my ship to Libat III.
“I hope that kicks in and gives you a little relief. I’ll keep tabs on you from the bridge. Talk soon; hang in there, sir, okay,” she said, placing her hand on the glass viewing window of the stasis pod before leaving me alone to struggle against the pain.
I closed my eyes, trying hard not to puke up the mug of Clarion ale I’d drank a few hours ago as the pain rolled on harder than at any other point since I’d regained consciousness. I stopped...
Root CGD: Unknown date/time (Earth Day 3 in captivity)
CinT Ark Loc: Unknown coordinates
I’d woke three days ago disoriented and with plenty of concerns. The first was that my surroundings were prison cell-like and that meant I was likely in some kind of trouble. I should probably be relieved my accommodations weren’t medical in nature and that my body wasn’t still being ripped apart internally by whatever had hit my ship. If I was a prisoner, I had the obvious questions to chew on while I waited for someone to speak to me:
Why am I being held? Where’s my ship and crew? And what had we done wrong to piss off the Planetary Guild—this time?
I wasn’t sure how long it had been since I last saw Cheryl or what the Common Galactic Date (CGD) was, but since being removed from stasis and deposited here, my captors had been adjusting the lighting in this cell on a schedule. I figured at least three CGD days had passed, and none of those days went by very quickly. I found it interesting that whoever was keeping me captive was trying to simulate sunrise and sunset as if I were on ancient Earth or a similarly categorized planet that circled a sun or one of the larger known plasmatic stars.
So much to wonder about, little chance I’d die from boredom trying to come up with questions.
The cell I was in had technology not generally found in any of the prisons I’d ever spent time in, like the automated lighting and climate controls geared to my bodies comfort. The idea of keeping me on a schedule was certainly different and unexpected. I had to consider my captors wanted to maintain my health and sleep cycle or cynically to maintain my compliance by making me feel more comfortable or at home on my home planet.
This cell was bigger than I was used to being confined in at four by four meters. There was the typical prison-like cot/bed and an open bathroom area with a wet shower facility that drained in the corner. An in-room shower wasn’t typical of any prison I’d had the displeasure of spending time in during my twelve CGD years of space travel, but it was an appreciated amenity – as was having this cell to myself.
I’d been confined in worse places and had a few sketchy captive situations, so I was thankful for the luxurious surroundings I was being held in at the moment.
Food was being delivered twice daily, if you could call the same thick beige paste food. It would appear on a shelf in the corner of the two blank walls of the cell without warning, roughly around midmorning and again in what I assumed was early evening due to the softer lighting in the cell. The paste was warm, gritty, and void of any recognizable flavor or taste. It did fill me up by the time I was slurping the last of the paste from the bowl it was provided in with my fingers.
My kingdom for a spoon! How wasn’t something as simple as a spoon not on the radar of any advanced species or race of beings running this place?!
I’d kill for something different to wash it all down with, like a mug of ale. The overly synthesized liquid they considered water was difficult to drink and had a strong metallic aftertaste. It was served in the same kind of bowl as the paste, though if I wanted more I could get some from the tiny sink or shower at any time.
Being able to move around under my own power had been a big concern after waking. Actually being able to stand or walk had taken two days to accomplish well enough that I didn’t have to crawl to the toilet or to the food they were leaving me and then struggle to reach the shelf. I still relied on the walls to keep me upright at times, but I was getting more of my strength back every day. I figured I must have been in stasis for a while, and it was likely they’d tried to recondition my atrophic muscles a little before dumping me in here given some of the muscle aches I had—unless that was residual pain from whatever I’d been suffering with on the ship.
I’d once spent four CGD months in a stasis pod, and I couldn’t stand or walk for a week without assistance and had done many hours of muscle reconditioning probe sessions. I had marks on my legs and arms that verified I’d been given those treatments here, which probably helped me to be up and mobile now. I had been fairly fit, though not muscular, pre-whatever hit the ship and ending up here. Realizing it was going to take time to get my strength back fully and not rush it was the key I remember from my last time being in this state.
Besides pacing to distract myself from all the time I had on my hands, I decided to explore and tap around every inch of the cell I could reach earlier this morning in search of some nonexistent escape route. If I hadn’t done that futile search, what kind of prisoner would my captors think I was? I didn’t want to disappoint them and hoped they weren’t mind readers like the race of beings from N’Arbs, because I had some seriously violent thoughts running through my head with all this free time I had sitting around in here alone.
As best I could tell, no implant had been inserted in my body that would encourage my compliance if I acted out or became violent when I finally did get a chance to meet my captors. I had experience with an implant on Maretic, and after being released found out the way they attached it with the nerves in my spine that removal could paralyze me if done wrong. I skipped having it removed for making a quick exit from that planet. I could have gone back to Maretic and paid through the nose for its removal, but I figured it wasn’t worth possibly ending up in their prison again for whatever reason struck their fancy – like the first time I’d been jailed there.
Though the device they put in me was deactivated years ago, I swear I could feel a ghostly remembrance of its effects on my body when I was anywhere near large magnetic fields. That implant had the ability to not only lock up every muscle in my body but also leave a lasting pain memory I wasn’t interested in my captors on Maretic repeating. I’d gotten zapped once and learned my lesson to follow their instructions to the letter.
Being held prisoner here was nothing like when we’d been ‘detained’ in the Delany Galaxy on one of the moons orbiting Valanta. At least there our alien captors were good about getting my crew and I charged with crimes, getting me eventually fined, and shortly after restitution was made we were all released without a prison sentence. That incarceration had been an obvious credit grab, and we lost our cargo that trip. The majority of it was illegal according to the Planetary Guild, but we were free to freighter and smuggle another day, so taking the loss on that one was a no-brainer.
That experience had ended up being seven CGD days of our lives we’d never get back—was this going to be more time lost to the abyss of Planetary Guild bullshit and another credits grab on Libat III?
I’d tried multiple times to communicate with my captors or others who might hear me in neighboring cells—thus far no one was interested in talking with me. I hoped to hell my ship and crew were being treated decently. Based on what Cheryl had told me, I was the only male to make it through that ordeal before going into stasis. That left four of us that could be locked up in here for whatever reason—that is, if the women of my crew hadn’t been killed or traded into slavery. I wondered if our captors would try to revive the men who’d died due to the effects of Senian and were in a stasis-holding state.
With all those concerns barking loudly for my attention, there was another that had me a bit more worried.
There were unexpected changes to my body from the hormones Cheryl had given me and I hadn’t been prepared for. The most obvious change was the additional weight on my chest due to breasts being present. These new additions easily filled my hands when I cupped them, were sore and tender – though not enough to keep me from exploring them a couple times while showering. I was worried about having nipples that were enlarged and puffy on top of these new mounds on my chest. Those looked nothing like anything I’d seen on any women before, and I feared that something was wrong with them, with me.
Holding them was a pleasurable experience though, and absolutely new territory the depths those pleasures took me. I think when I got my body back, after getting the effects of female hormones reversed, I might actually miss these additions for their deeper connection to something akin to sexual pleasures. These changes were going to be an educational detour ultimately, but not how I wanted to live life long-term.
I wouldn’t have thought a single dose of female hormones would have produced this much breast growth in what I assumed wasn’t really that many days since I was last on my ship.
Breast tissue development wasn’t the only change I’d experienced. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my imagination that my skin felt softer now and hair growth was finer not only on my face but also on my arms and legs. What little fat I had pre-injection seemed to be collecting around my hips and ass, and I could be mistaken, but I was sure my voice sounded a little different to me the few times I’d yelled to try and get my captors attention.
My body smelled different, which was odd, and I couldn’t pinpoint why exactly. I still farted, though I figured that wasn’t something hormones would have changed, and I knew plenty of women farted—though wouldn’t ever admit it. The food they were providing saw to it I had plenty of gas to release.
The final change was probably the most embarrassing and concerned the diminished size of my manhood. I’d bet it was close to half the size I remembered, though arguably I wasn’t all that well endowed prior to Cheryl injecting me. What I had now was stressing me more than I’d expected—not just its size, but it not reacting to any stimuli—which I’d tried a few times just to see if it would increase in size with a little coaxing. Nope, no size increase and just hanging there uninterested in anything I’d tried doing with it to wake it up.
I wasn’t worried that any of these changes couldn’t be reversed at some point. I’d seen it happen on many planets in my years of freighting goods between the various galaxies. That this was happening to my body and not what I’d expected or wanted did make the changes a bit more unsettling. And if the changes to my body weren’t concerning enough, the time I spent crying for no apparent reason when I thought about being alone, wondering about my crew, or whether I’d ever get out of here, was even more of a concern. I was solidly writing that off to the hormones screwing with my emotions and mental state, making me sappy and gooey inside when my mind wondered and the loneliness threatened to suffocate me.
I really wanted that change to my being to end, the crying fits I was having, sooner than later.
It was common knowledge that if someone wanted to live as the opposite gender and had enough credits, coins, or class sway, they could make it happen easily enough on nearly every planet Earthlings had been accessing for the past CGD century. And you weren’t necessarily stuck once you swapped genders as long as you preserved an original DNA sample before transition so a specialized facility could get you back to your original configuration—even if there were surgeries involved. That was mind-blowing to me, and I knew that while gender swapping wasn’t all that common, it did happen, and I knew of a few people who’d done it, and the idea of going back to their original form wasn’t ever going to be an option.
The idea that someone could be Transgendered or Trans was easily several thousand CGD years old. The stigma and violence that surrounded that choice was long forgotten given all the alien species humankind had interacted with over the years, including those that shape shifted or were asexual. For myself, I knew I ultimately wanted my old body back—nice tits be damned.
Root CGD: Unknown date/time (Earth Day 8 in captivity)
CinT Ark Loc: Unknown coordinates
I woke with a renewed sense I was being manipulated by my captors and with an interesting clue in my hand to strengthen that idea. The past two nights I’d been falling asleep so easily and quickly after the afternoon meal that I had wondered if I was being drugged. To test that theory, I decided to fight falling asleep last night after the lights dimmed fully, and try as I might, I couldn’t stay awake for very long.
The obvious question was why? Why was I being drugged?
With little to do but pace, exercise, cry, or deal with keeping the silk bag dress-like garment I was wearing from rubbing my sensitive puffy nipples, I did a fair amount of lying around staring at the ceiling considering that question. If they were drugging me, it was being done with the food or maybe the water my captors were supplying. I had to consider it was possible they were screwing with the air being pumped into the cell, but thought the easier delivery method had to be through the food.
Adding to the idea I was being drugged was the fact I’d had the same exact dream two nights in a row. In those dreams, a human male was sitting on my bed with me. I might have written that off the first time as not being a clue to having been drugged, but I couldn’t accept that having the exact same dream a second time last night.
What I remembered about him in the ‘dream’ was that he had very red hair, never spoke, and basically just sat there next to me holding my hand as I lay there in bed looking up at him. Why I hadn’t spoken, given how desperate I was to talk to anyone, added to my being drugged suspicions. I couldn’t remember hearing if he might have said anything, so that did throw a little doubt on my suspicions.
Yet I was certain it couldn’t have been a dream because this morning in my hand I found a single red hair.
No, it hadn’t been a dream some guy had been with me in my cell—he absolutely had been in my cell with me! But why?! Why drug me so I couldn’t interact with him? That’s what I needed to know, and it had been driving me crazy since I’d woken up this morning! Plus, the guy left the hair on purpose, as a message, to let me know I wasn’t alone—I was sure of that given how caring his eyes looked to me while he sat with me.
I’m sure my captors hadn’t expected him to leave evidence I’d been visited the past couple nights – too bad!
Whatever the reason for the single hair or visit or drugging me that was going on, I made a decision that I would dump the morning beige gruel into the toilet after it was delivered. I also made sure those keeping tabs on me saw me examining the hair that had been left. I wasn’t shy about comparing it to my own hair, which was longer than it had ever been and finer too.
When the evening meal appeared and I began walking the bowl over to the toilet to dump it, the lights in my cell flashed three times. I froze and instinctively looked up, then noticed the wall to my left because it had changed from looking like metal to being transparent. On the other side of the glass wall was the red-headed man I’d seen the past two nights. He was sitting on his bed looking back at me, though not nearly as surprised to see me as I was him.
I watched him stand, walk to the wall, and smile as he placed a hand on the glass. I set the bowl of gruel down and walked over to face him.
“Can you hear me?”
He shook his head, 'No,’ and I think he mouthed ‘Sorry’ in reply.
“We’re prisoners?”
He looked confused, then mouthed ‘prison’ back at me and nodded ‘No’. Really? That doesn’t make sense; how wasn’t this a prison we were in?
“You sure?”
He nodded ‘Yes’.
“How long?” I asked.
He looked confused again, so I touched my hands together, spreading them apart, and repeated the question. He got it, shrugged, and flashed his ten fingers at me too many times to count before shrugging again. He held up two single fingers close together and spread his hands apart.
Great, he’s been here a while—'too long'. I wanted to cry but steeled myself. I saw him tilt his head and say a single word, 'Sue'.
Huh? Yeah, right buddy, unlikely we’ll be able to sue anyone for being held here, I thought. I shook my head ‘No’ and he quickly shook his head ‘No’ back at me.
“What?” I asked.
He got a little closer to the glass and looked at his hand placed against the glass like wall, nodding at me towards it.
“What?”
Another nod towards his hand was my answer as he looked at me concerned, maybe pleading with me to comply. Tentatively, I put my hand on the glass where his was, expecting some kind of shock or jolt, and when nothing came, he put his forehead on the glass wall.
I just stood there staring at him, wondering what he was trying to do; none of this made any sense because there was a barrier between us. After a moment I gave up and stepped away, which got me a quick slap on the glass wall—it made no sound, but him having done that startled me.
“What the fuck is your problem?” I yelled at him.
He held a finger up, wagging it as if beckoning me back. When I didn’t move, he mouthed, ‘Please’.
I stepped closer, placed my hand against the glass where his was, and watched him lean his head against the glass again. With his free hand, he brought it near my face, touched a single finger to the glass, and moved it as if he were spelling something. He was watching me closely to see if I was paying attention, and I had to mouth ‘Again’ because I’d misunderstood what he was trying to do the first time.
Slowly, he traced his finger on the glass. I guessed the first letter was ‘2’, maybe a backwards ‘S’, and the last two were O’s or zeroes. I watched him step back and mouth the word again.
“Sue? Soo? Two-hundred?” I said aloud and shook my head at him that I didn’t understand and wasn’t sure what he was trying to tell me.
'No.’ He shook his head at me after taking a step back and then drew a giant backwards ‘S’ in the air, just not as rounded this time.
I shrugged back, which got me an exasperated look, until I got that what I thought was an ‘S’ was actually...
“Zoo?” I asked aloud even though I knew he couldn’t hear me.
He shook his head slowly, ‘Yes’ this time. There appeared to be a deep sadness in his eyes for having just shared the reality of our situation with me.
The tears welled quickly in my eyes, and I turned away as I began crying so he wouldn’t see me doing that. It took almost a minute before I finally felt like I’d gotten my shit together, and when I turned around, the wall had gone back to its original metal-like state again. NO!! My heart sank…
I was instantly sobbing at the idea he was gone, that I was alone again, and that we were possibly specimens in a zoo...
::: --- :::
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Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: Unknown date / time (Earth Day 9 in captivity)
CinT Ark Loc: Unknown coordinates (Zoo?)
I had trouble sleeping through the night and chalked that up to not having eaten the gruel our captors had provided twice yesterday. My stomach had gurgled, roiled, and complained throughout the night. As annoying as the physical effects of not having eaten was, what was worse was how I couldn’t shut my damn brain off! Not getting decent sleep had been a combination of hunger, not being drugged since I hadn’t eaten, and a healthy dose of feeling overly emotional about everything and anything related to being a specimen in a fucking zoo.
Seeing ‘Red’, my neighbor, had moved me deeper than I thought reasonable, and that was confusing on multiple levels. Was learning I, or ‘we’, were possibly exhibits in a zoo the driver for those confusing feelings? Was it realizing I wasn’t alone was what scrambled my emotional state?
I wasn’t sure, but this overly sensitive mode of operation wasn’t my norm, and I needed to get a grip on the situation or I’d be useless in figuring out how to get out of this mess.
Since I hadn’t drunk anything yesterday, I had a massive headache on top of my long list of other issues this morning. It felt like there were too many problems to corral alone right now. My mood was crappy, and I was absolutely feeling sorry for myself. Those things weren’t going to do me any good right now and I needed to fix that and quickly!
I needed to 'man-up’ in a manner of speaking and decided to skip exercising or mindlessly pacing like I usually did every morning. Instead I would shower and try to piece together my new realities—both possible zoo specimen and how to better handle these changes to my body. I resolved to do that with some concerted effort and sans the emotional blubbering I’d done yesterday and into last night. Be more logical, not emotional! Those were the ground rules I needed to follow moving forward!
First task: figure out how to get more face time with my neighbor. I had way too many questions, and I needed to see him to enlist his assistance with whatever the hell this ‘zoo’ existence entailed. I knew we’d be better off working together, and I needed to show him I had skills and experience that would matter beyond this pseudo-female form he was seeing right now. I wasn’t this physical version of myself, and I needed to explain that and hoped he could learn to trust and rely on me to be useful down the road if an opportunity for us to get out of here presented itself.
Getting showered and dried off with the large silk-like material ‘towel’ that had the water absorption properties of a piece of metal was the first obstacle to get over. I then got dressed in my silk bag dress-like garment. It was a ridiculous garment and I cursed my captors for not supplying any underwear or even a bra to hold my new perky and sensitive breasts in place so they wouldn’t be constantly stimulated by the fabric of this stupid, ill-fitting bag every time I moved!
No! I’m not going to get emotional or lose my shit! Focus!!
My final act for the morning was to eat their pathetic paste and drink the synthesized water. I was going to show compliance. And by doing that, I hoped for concessions on the part of my captors—namely letting me see ‘Red’ again. What options did I have? Compliance – that was the route I needed to walk.
The last task for my morning – I dragged my bed in front of the wall between our cells, 'cages', and waited for them to turn the wall transparent again. I was banking heavily on my going along with their program to maybe, just maybe, get me some face-time with my neighbor.
Why the hell hadn’t I asked his name yesterday? I couldn’t just keep calling him ‘Red’, could I? I smiled, thinking how that name kind of fit him.
Root CGD: Unknown date/ttime (Earth Day 11 in captivity)
CinT Ark Loc: Unknown coordinates (Zoo?)
Three days of being compliant for our captors, and I still wasn’t being allowed access to ‘Red’. I had barely moved from the wall between our cages—either sitting or laying on my bed in front of it or leaning against it when I got tired of those positions. Of course several times I’d had to turn away so as to not be seen crying, but other than that or when I slept, I had my eyes glued to the wall. I pounded on it often, kept a hand on it, spoke to it, and for a couple hours had even leaned my head against it just to be connected to it and the occupant on the other side.
I was back to sleeping deeply at night again and figured they were continuing to put something in my food to keep me dossal, compliant. What hadn’t happened though was dreaming about Red visiting me or him sitting on my bed holding my hand. Every morning I’d wake up and anxiously check my hand and the bed for a piece of his hair. I felt depressed when there wasn’t any to be found. Since I hadn’t seen him in my dreams, I reasoned that made sense—they hadn’t yet allowed him back in my cell while I was sleeping.
I was determined to stick to my plan—to be compliant—but my patience was being tested and my attitude was bumping against the ‘Fuck you!’ mark harder with each passing minute.
Sound from the shelf my food was delivered on caught my attention, and while I wanted to remain compliant, I really wasn’t in the mood to eat, so I ignored its presence. I knew the lights would be dimming soon to indicate ‘night’ or 'sleepy-sleepy’ time after I ate the gruel, but not getting any consideration for being a good zoo specimen the past couple days was gnawing on me. I hadn’t ever not removed the bowels of gruel or water-like liquid from the shelf and wondered if that would slow the lights eventually going out.
I lie there watching the ceiling, and after a while I was certain it was truly a few shades less bright than ‘dusk. Guess delaying picking up my gruel wasn’t going to slow the lights eventually going out.
I rolled off the bed to get up and pee, but before I could take a second step from the bed, I could tell the lights had dimmed and stopped to look up. I quickly gave up trying to decide if it was indeed dimmer and was about to take another step when the lights flashed twice, but instead of looking up, I looked at the wall—nothing.
“Come on!”
Nothing happened; the wall remained in its metal-like state.
What are you trying to tell me? You wanted something, damn it! You flashed the lights – message received! I looked towards the bowls and decided maybe this was them prodding me to pick them up and eat. I decided to grab them and noticed the lights dim slightly again, but also that the wall became transparent between our cages and I could see Red!
YES! I rushed to the wall, setting the bowels on the floor, spilling half the liquid that passed as water, and waited for him to notice I was standing there. After ten, maybe twenty seconds without any acknowledgment, I decided to wave when it looked like he was looking straight at me. Nothing, no reaction!
What the hell?! I pounded on the wall, but he didn’t react to that even. Was he ignoring me? I waved, shouted, sat, tried to line my eyes up with his, and still there was no reaction. I gave up after a few minutes and sat on my bed watching him and wondered why it was he couldn’t see me.
I watched him look to his left, smile, and maybe even chuckle before lying down on the bed.
What?! You really can’t see me, can you?! I stood again and waved, pounded on the wall between us again, but he didn’t flinch.
“Red! Hey! Right here! Look at me! Look…”
He didn’t move. What the actual fuck?! I sat back down but stood again to pound on the translucent wall again out of frustration. No reaction, no looking in my direction, no… Wait, what are you doing? I watched as Red sat up, pulled his shirt off, stood, removed his pants and underwear, and walked naked to the shower.
Whoa! Ah, I did not see that coming! What else couldn’t I do in that moment? Look away…
Root CGD: Unknown date/time (Earth Day 12 in captivity)
CinT Ark Loc: Unknown coordinates (Zoo?)
I woke up later than usual with the lighting in my cage nearly to its maximum. The wall between our cages was back to its metallic state, and after I’d gotten up to pee, my morning rations appeared on the shelf as if they had been waiting for me to stir. Since I’d only eaten half of last night’s meal cold, long after it had been delivered, I wasn’t going to make that same mistake today. Cold paste sucked, and the overly synthesized water didn’t make the cold gruel go down any easier.
I was going to eat my gruel warm from now on. I was also going to stick to the plan of being a good and compliant specimen for my captors so as to maybe earn the opportunity to see Red again—even if he couldn’t see me.
I’d spent too much time last night watching Red before and after he’d fallen asleep. Since he hadn’t seen me the entire time I’d been trying to get his attention, I figured whatever this wall material was our hosts had the ability to make it one-way transparent. That meant Red may have had a similar experience and got to watch me without my knowledge. Not that I’d done anything like he had last night, but the idea of being unknowingly watched while my body looked like this really didn’t sit well with me.
I couldn’t help but cringe remembering how I’d explored my breasts those few times while in bed or in the shower and how my attempts at waking up that tiny nub between my legs had gone nowhere—fuck! Guess he’d possibly gotten a show those few times I’d done those things. Was him working off his own frustrations last night because he’d watched me explore my body?
Augh, not helpful and I certainly hope that wasn’t the case last night!
I’d seen any number of human males naked in my twenty-eight years and tromping around the various galaxies from childhood to adult. Not once had I given it a second thought, or was I even remotely interested in the pleasures that could be had from what I considered the inferior sex’s body. Seeing Red naked last night though hit me differently, which gave me pause and had me questioning where those feelings that bordered on ‘lust ‘ originated from.
There was a whole lot more I needed to process to fully understand what and why I might have had feelings of desire as I watched him in the shower that was for damn sure!
His naked form had absolutely invaded my dreams last night, and that was very strange to me because in those dreams I was not shy about nestling my current body next to his while he was naked or us doing things together that sure seemed natural, unexpected, and warmly pleasurable if I were being honest about what I could remember of those dreams. I reasoned the strength of those images and acts we’d shared in my dreams were influenced by what I witnessed him doing while he was in the shower.
Yes, fully naked he had a well-toned body and was a decent-looking guy – generally speaking. Yes, the hair below his waist matched the color of the hair on his head, chest, and face. And finally, ‘Yes'—he was of average size and girth—at least until he was fully aroused, then he might be a bit larger than average if I were comparing him to myself – pre female hormone single injection of course.
I could confidently state that last fact about his ‘size’ because while in the shower he may have spent an inordinate amount of time pleasuring himself to a fairly intense climax given his facial expression, quivering legs, and amount of ejaculate that was coaxed out of his menacing looking cocks head in heavily spurts and thick ribbons. I couldn’t blame the guy for taking matters in his own hands, so to speak. Like any other guy out there I’d done that a few thousand times myself to pass the time or when I felt frustrated or for whatever reason I chose to masturbate. The last time I’d done what he’d done was on the Barrow Gar a few days before the ship was hit and my body started down this path.
There was no denying I was aroused last night, but it wasn’t anything like I was accustomed to in regards to being turned on or had even remotely experienced in the past.
Watching Red last night, I’d have thought it instinctual to touch myself the way I had always done, but as he made those slow strokes, water streaming over muscular arms and ass, my hands found their way to my breasts. Those first caresses led to softly pinching, rolling and pulling on puffy nipples, and there was no mistaking the warm, glowing feeling coursing throughout my body as I did that while watching him. It was interesting that as I watched him, I could sense what he was feeling, but what I felt touching myself was so very different for some reason.
Multiple times my arousal seemed to roll on in tiny waves that sent soft, delicious, tingling through my legs like nothing I’d ever felt before. My whole body seemed to pulse in unison and I was blanketed in a euphoric calm after the wave of pleasure faded. The waves had washed over me multiple times, which was odd and unexpected, but so very welcomed given the stress of the past eleven days.
As Red progressed, I could see on his face he was getting close to finishing and saw him hit his tilting point, it was powerful moment to watch. I remember dropping a hand between my legs right before that happened and found that I wasn’t engorged in the least, but there was an abundance of pre-cum my fingers slipped around in and through. That act of touching myself, feeling the slickness, had me hitting a threshold, a plateau, and every ounce of tension stored in my body flooded past a fluttering tummy and gently shaking body.
I had to place a hand on the transparent wall to steady myself, and in doing so I got to watch the last few glimpses of Red draining his cock sensually with one hand while also holding himself steady with the other against the shower wall.
I couldn’t help but smile thinking that not only had he been able to satisfy himself, but that he’d helped me get there also—though via a totally new and arguably different, deeper route. I needed that release, though it was only a momentary escape given all I’d been worrying about these past twelve days. I felt like I’d cum multiple times, though it wasn’t the single-pop! as he’d experienced. I’d argue mine hitting that mark was better than his.
I wonder if he was thinking about me as I was thinking about…
“Hey…”
I physically jumped and stepped back a couple steps quickly, while turning towards the cage wall to see that Red was standing there without any barrier between us.
FUCK ME!
My heart was pounding in my chest, and I instantly wondered if I should be worried that he was standing there! He wasn’t moving, standing still in his cage and watching me as if allowing me to get acclimated to the idea there was nothing between our two cages.
“Wha… What’s happening?” I asked still in shock.
“Typical shit…”
“I don’t understand; what does that mean?” I asked quickly and likely sounding overly concerned.
“They’ve decided we aren’t going to kill each other, so they’re moving this show along,” he replied.
“Show?”
“I know you’ve got a lot of questions; mind if we sit?” he asked, looking at my bed.
“You can,” I replied tentatively, but remained in my position a meter from my bed before taking a small step backwards when he moved to sit at the foot of it.
“Look, you’re obviously new here, and I’m not exactly sure what they think they’re doing with you yet. I do know that if you’re not playing along as you have been these last couple days it’s not going to end well for you. Once we’re in the Exhibit Housing, they’re going to expect the same,” he said, patting the bed as if he wanted me to sit with him.
“Is this really a zoo? Are we really some kind of captive animals here?”
I could feel my chest tightening, and breathing was becoming difficult.
“Hey, easy now,” he replied concerned and stood to come around the bed closer to where I was beginning to freak out. “Just breathe… Nothing is going to happen to you or me if we play this correctly.”
I felt like my balance was failing, so I squatted and got my hands on the floor to steady myself. I felt his hand on my shoulder, but couldn’t pull away for fear of passing out.
“We’ll get through this, I promise. Come sit on the bed; you’ll be more comfortable, and it’ll show them we’re getting along. We need that, the looking like we’re getting along part. It’s key to you not getting taken away; trust me on that.”
I submitted to moving to the bed after a full minute with four parts of my body touching the floor while I tried to get control of my breathing and the panicked state I was in. I was thankful he let me have that moment without rushing or pressuring me. I let him guide me to the bed, but instead of sitting, I curled up in a ball facing his cell, leaving him standing behind me. I didn’t move when he sat next to me and placed his hand on my shoulder for a second, as if to let me know he was behind me.
“Okay, let’s start with the basics. I’m Garrett, and you’re,” he asked.
“Cameron,” I whispered.
“It’s nice to finally meet you without that damn wall, Cameron. You’ve got a pretty name. I knew a Cameron once, spirited woman she was... Do you remember anything about how you got here?”
“No, not really,” I huffed.
“I don’t either, same with the others,” he said, removing his hand.
“There are others?” I asked, turning my head to look back at him.
“We think they try to keep a stock of eight of us in the Exhibit Housing, but they’ve had issues with losing women during pregnancy and childbirth,” he answered solemnly.
“Stock? Like we’re,” I stopped speaking because I got it, and the look on his face told me he wasn’t happy about it either.
We were in a zoo, according to Garrett, whom I’d been calling ‘Red’ all this time. From what limited history I knew about these kinds of facilities on ancient Earth, they often bred their animals and shared them among other zoos. Generally, they tended to be considerate of whichever species they were housing, but they’d taken those animals freedoms, which most humans didn’t agree with late into those facilities existences. Happily, the last record of there being such a facility was somewhere between the years 2080 and 2100.
That last zoo had closed due to climate change issues and ancient Earth becoming nearly uninhabitable at some point between those years. Humans had tried to exist by moving their civilizations underground or under the greatly depleted bodies of water that remained, but by the year 2200, planet Earth had barely a few million inhabitants. Most had spread far and wide through the galaxies—including my ten-times over great grandparents according to computer records and family lore.
Funny, all that tech to get off the planet and no one had thought to try to save it. Typical of the time, use shit, throw it out, rape the planet, and basically shit in your own bed. FOCUS!!! I have things I need to know, need to ask!
Cheryl had said I was the last male on my ship. I needed to know if she or any of the women from my crew were here or died during any pregnancies and what the hell our hosts had planned for me in this zoo.
“Do you recall the names of the women who are here or were?” I asked quietly.
I listened as he rattled off about twenty names he’d met over the time he’d been here, and the only name close to one of the women on my crew was a woman named Deanna. Dee would rather die than go by that name, so I figured she or any of the other women from my crew hadn’t ended up here. What happened to them would remain a mystery for a little longer.
I felt Garrett shifting behind me, and then he softly began speaking close to my ear, “I’m going to lay behind you. Don’t read more into this than what it is. They need to see we’re coupled, that I’m comforting you, and that we might like each other.”
I bristled, partly because I wanted none of this and partly because his breath was warm on my neck and visions of last night’s dreams came flooding back for a brief moment where we’d been intimate. This was not the time for those kinds of thoughts!
“The sooner we look the part, the sooner we’ll be transferred to what we’ve been calling the Exhibit Housing. It’s a cluster of four small homes they copied from who knows where, but are a lot more comfortable than these holding pens.
“It’s an upgrade, believe me. There will be others to talk to too: three very nice women who are coupled, and two of the three other guys aren’t too bad. Oh, and you’ll get some better clothes, food that has shape and maybe a little more taste, and some limited outside space that, while computer-generated, will do wonders for your mind—does mine.”
He stopped speaking to sit more upright and place his hand back on my shoulder.
“If you look repulsed or pull away, well, it’s kind of been the end for the women they’ve brought in or that have been traded here from some other zoo. I promise you, Cameron, I will not hurt you nor will I do anything that might make you feel uncomfortable. You’re a bit different from the other women who’ve been brought here, but that could play to our advantage. I know this is a leap of faith I’m asking for, but I need you to trust me.”
A leap? He was kidding, right? I’m basically putting my life in your hands, and all that’s going to cost me is to look like I’m attracted to you. I caught he knew I wasn’t a woman, though might appear like one a little bit. The embarrassment I felt wasn’t what I needed!
My brain and my heart decided they couldn’t handle it any longer, and I lay there a moment unable to speak—but began sobbing quietly. Garrett slowly lay behind me, spooning me, and carefully wrapped his arms around me. I wasn’t in any position to make him stop, and it did feel good to not be alone anymore.
“It’s going to be alright,” he whispered.
I wish I could believe that I thought as my chest heaved and the tears flowed while I was being held gently...
Root CGD: Unknown date/time (Earth Day 13 in captivity)
CinT Ark Loc: Unknown coordinates (Zoo—'Exhibit Housing’?)
Our captors let us spend a few hours together, and at some point the lights flashed before ‘night time’ and Garrett willingly got up and went back to his pen. He assured me this was normal, and with any luck we’d be transferred to the ‘Exhibit Housing’ at some point before morning. I hadn’t realized how that would happen, and after consuming my evening meal, the room started spinning, and the next thing I heard was…
“You’re safe, but try not to move too much or you’ll puke that crap they fed you last night,” a woman’s voice was saying as I started to open my eyes, struggling to focus on her face and understand what she was telling me about not moving.
The confused look on my face must have been easy to read because she began explaining what had happened to me.
“They had to knock you out to get you transferred to the exhibit, and trust me, you’re going to feel like crap for a few more hours. I’m Allison or Ali if long names annoy you. Garrett’s fine, sleeping this off in the outer room, but he’s gone through it a few times, so I expect he’ll be up and roaming around shortly. Seriously, rest for now, we’ll talk in a few hours.”
I could just make out a clock behind Allison, digital, an antique since it wasn’t holographic or part of any environmental computer waiting to answer the question, ‘What time is it?’. The time said it was 3:12, and I assumed that meant afternoon—that meant I’d been out a long time to get to this spot. I wanted so badly to look around, but I figured I should heed her warning about moving due to whatever drug they’d given me, and my eyes really did want to be shut anyway, so I closed them.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
I felt her pat my hand and…
::: --- :::
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Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: Day 13 captivity, 6:33 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I woke to a familiar face and a smile that said the redheaded guy looking down at me was happy to see I was still alive and kicking.
“There she is...”
The fact he’d referred to me as 'she’ wasn’t lost on me. I wanted to correct him, but I also didn’t want to start a conversation with him by complaining about it or getting into a pointless argument this early into whatever this zoo life required. I knew I looked a little like a woman, and I get the 'see a mug of ale, call it a mug of ale’ confusion, so I’d put up with being referred to as one for a little while longer until we could reasonably talk the situation I was in out.
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” I groaned at Garrett sitting next to me on the bed and hoped he caught the double meaning in that reply. He was holding my hand like he had in those dreams I’d had, but this wasn’t a dream, we were speaking to each other, and his hand felt warm in mine, comforting even. He looked concerned, so I followed the statement I’d made with the obvious, “What’s wrong?”
“Remember what I told you while in the holding pens?”
I nodded I did, taking my hand back slowly because I was sure he was going to lay some bad news on me.
“Perceptions are everything in here. You and I are in the Exhibit Housing now because they think we’re ‘coupled’ and our interactions are being watched even closer now. We can fake a bunch of shit for a little while; they know there’s a ‘get acquainted’ period for people who are new to this idea of being held captive and paired. That will give us a little time to work out a plan on how we get around some of the obvious difficulties we’ll have meeting their expectations.
“I’ve talked to everyone in the exhibit and I let them know about you, so I hope that helps with any awkwardness you might feel when you interact with the others later. I’m going to send Ali in to help get you settled while I get some stuff made clear with the other guys. You alright with all of this so far?” he finally asked.
He’d dumped a lot on me in just those few sentences. I hadn’t totally accepted this new reality yet, that we were specimens in a zoo, or that there were expectations of me from those running this facility involving him. Saying we were ‘coupled’ had implications I wasn’t ready for in the short term or ever actually. And, if that wasn’t enough to deal with, everyone knowing I wasn’t what I appeared to be wasn’t how I’d like to have started my stay in the Exhibit Housing. Sure, it was bound to be obvious once the others laid eyes on me, but I’d like to have been the one to navigate their concerns if they had them and it was within my power to appease them or set their minds at ease.
“Do I have a choice?” I asked after too long of a pause in answering him.
He chuckled, “You do, but the disposition of those who don’t comply with our hosts desires tends to end badly for that person. We’re trying to figure out how to get out of here, and we’d appreciate you deciding if you’re interested in joining us before we put a bunch of effort into acclimating you only to get nothing in return for our efforts. Believe me when I say this, they will yank you out of here if you don’t look committed to their program.”
Garrett, or as I wished I could keep calling him ‘Red’, had said what he’d said politely, but there was an undercurrent that was unmistakable - get on the team or potentially suffer the consequences alone because we’re not going to waste our time on you.
“I’m in and will play whatever part I need too,” I offered.
“I was hoping you’d say that. Okay, hang out here and I’ll be back in an hour or so,” he said, leaning in to kiss my forehead before getting up, turning towards the door, and walking out of the room.
I’m sure the shock on my face wasn’t lost on him, but he hadn’t stayed long enough to explain that act, that gesture, that outward display of affection. I hadn’t expected it and planned on discussing it with him when he returned, that was for damn sure. Was him kissing my forehead part of his ‘perceptions’ comment he’d laid on me all those times in the holding pens? Likely, though I’d have to get an understanding of our host’s expectations spelled out and then set some ground rules to level set his expectations between us because I might look a little like a woman, but I wasn’t going to willingly operate like one fully.
He’d said we were ‘coupled’, which might be the norm for him in this place with an actual woman, but it was the furthest thing from my want at the moment.
Those dreams I had where I had been ‘with’ him completely came to mind and how we’d… Augh! FOCUS! Not the time for that kind of distraction!
I heard him begin talking to someone in the other room and tried to listen in but gave up because of their hushed tones. I figured he was talking with Ali and remembered meeting her briefly before she encouraged me to go back to sleep. A few moments later it was quiet, there was the sound of a door being closed, and a smiling woman entered the room carrying a bunch of clothes in her arms, laying them at the foot of the bed.
“Hey Cameron… Got another load out in the living room, be right back.” I watched her leave and return with another armload of clothing, set it next to the first pile, and ask, “You feeling up to moving around a little, maybe getting dressed in something more normal, less garbage bag like?”
I just stared at her for a moment and then looked at the two piles of clothing, wondering if she comprehended what Garrett had supposedly told everyone about me and what I wasn’t. The clothing she’d brought in did not look like ‘normal’ clothing in the least to me since they were all women’s clothes from what I could see.
“You realize I’m,” I didn’t get to finish my statement because she cut me off.
“I know, we all know, and trust me we’re a little bit confused about what you’re doing here to be honest. Best guess is they want to use you for something specific, but are maybe breaking you in first by having you join us. It’s a real head scratcher, but we can brainstorm that later.”
I could feel the weight of everything that had happened to me these past thirteen days and huffed a breath before saying, “That’s not very...”
I couldn’t finish my thought before breaking down in tears.
“Hey now… Relax, relax,” she said quickly, putting her hands on my shoulders to draw me into a hug and then sitting next to me to hold me. “We’re all here for you one hundred percent, okay... This is totally normal and we’ve all lost it when the reality of what’s going on has slapped us in the face. Just don’t freak out too much, okay? Try to just go with it, learn the ropes, and the universe is going to work all this out. It’s not worth stressing all crazy like right now. You’ll be fine, and we’re all about making our confinement here easier to deal with as we try to figure out getting the fuck out of here. Look, you’re lucky to be coupled with Garrett and from all I’ve seen and been told – he’s very caring, not an asshole, and he’ll treat you well.”
Through my sobbing, I heard all she was saying, caught the caring in her voice, and prayed I could trust her and everyone else who was in the same predicament. When the sobbing slowed, she gave me a quick squeeze and released me.
“Look, the hormones their pumping into us have done a number on all of us; trust me on that... I can only imagine how they’ve affected you and get you’re probably confused with this detour in your transition, but it will all work out.”
I forced myself to gain some composure because it wasn’t lost on me the idea I was being pumped with all manner of chemicals to help me sleep for whatever reason, but hormones wasn’t one I’d expected to hear I might be getting fed unknowingly. Not only that, but she thought I’d done this willingly, that I was Transgendered before coming here and was actually trying to transition and become a woman?
“I’ve only had one dose of female hormones,” I squeaked, unsure if that was actually true or what I really meant to say in reply to the idea she thought I might be transitioning.
She laughed politely before saying, “Oh honey, that’s not possible, not with those breasts and hips. You look like you’re easily a CGD year into your transition, or a little more if I had to guess, is that about right?”
“No… That doesn’t make any sense,” I complained.
“All of us girls have changed since being brought here; not much we can do about it though since we all have to eat and drink. That’s how we think they’re keeping us drugged; they’ve pumped all of us with hormones and, of course, shit to keep everyone thoroughly ‘aroused’.”
“Aroused?” I asked surprised.
The fact that she thought my transition was greater than a CGD year was an uncomfortable realization to be presented with. Could it really have been that long since I was last on the Barrow Gar? That can’t be…
“There’s way to much ‘coupling’ is going on and to frequently to not be helped along without some drugs being introduced into this environment to encourage that—both for the guys and us girls. We figure their goal is to breed us, but we must be early in their program because no one’s actually carried a child to term since I’ve been here or according to everyone who’s been here longer than I have. If a woman does make it to term, I’m told they don’t survive childbirth.”
“I didn’t want this.”
“None of us did,” she replied with a slight chuckle.
“No, I mean, I’m not Transgendered; I never was trying to become a woman,” I complained.
“Really? You’ll have to tell me that story because you look pretty far into your transition.”
“But I’m not transitioning and there’s no story to tell, other than I didn’t ask for any of this.”
“You might not have wanted this, but your body sure as hell ignored that idea,” she said, smiling.
We sat there a moment not really saying anything, and I considered complaining more about it not being my desire to transition, but curiosity got the better of me.
“What did you mean when you said you’ve changed?” I asked.
“First off, my tits are easily a cup size larger since I’ve gotten here, which I kind of like since I had a fairly small chest to begin with. I could have done without the changes to my hips, though. If my ass gets any wider, I’m going to need those damn hover drones hanging close to my ass to warn people I’m coming! ‘Fat bitch coming through!’” she said using a funny voice, smiling broadly afterwards, and giggling a little.
I think she was expecting me to say something or maybe laugh, but I could only stare back at her. When I didn’t offer anything in reply, she continued.
“Look, you’ve,” she looked to be switching her train of thought and said, “Whether transitioning was or wasn’t your plan, it doesn’t matter in here. I’m betting since you’ve been here you’ve been getting the same stuff us girls have been getting. Do you have any idea how it is they’d confuse you for being female in the first place?”
I spent the next couple minutes explaining as much as I knew about how I’d gotten here, Cheryl giving me a dose of synthesized female hormones after our ship had been knocked out of service, being prepped for the stasis tube, and finally waking up in that holding pen with Garrett next door. Then she told me her story, which sounded very similar—a disabled ship and waking up here. She’d been spared the excruciating pain part that I’d gone through, but the men here had all experienced the same pain as I had.
“Do you have any idea why they’re doing this?” I asked.
“We’re in a damn zoo, and it’s just what they do in zoos. Keep the animals alive, display them, and breed them. As a group, we’ve talked that question to death,” she said, looking up towards the ceiling.
I followed her gaze and noticed for the first time there wasn’t a ceiling in the room we were in, and it looked like there was a blue sky above us, not blue paint on a ceiling. How hadn’t I realized that until just now?!
“No ceiling? No roof?”
“Odd I’ll give you that, but it’s because they want to see what’s going on down here. It doesn’t rain, and the weather doesn’t change. We get daylight hours and, of course, nights also. You’ll know they’re there watching, as they tend to get noisy when, well you’ll get it,” she replied.
“Noisy? What do you mean I’ll get it?” I asked, unsure if it was something I needed to be worried about or not.
“You’ll hear clicking-like noises. We think that’s them communicating with one another, talking as they watch us in here, or whatever it is they’re doing up there. No rhyme or reason to their clicks, though there’s tonal differences we think could be age-related. Like, some of the higher-pitched rapid clicks might be the children of whatever alien species is out there watching us.
“We think they get excited or curious when things are happening down here. No clue what any of them are saying to one another, but it does get noisiest when,” she shook her head and shrugged as if I was supposed to know what she was talking about. “The good thing is we don’t think they know what we’re saying to each other either, which is a good thing because I’ve yelled at them to fuck off a few too many times when they start clicking at Mike and me...”
“Are they always watching?”
“You’ll see when you get a look outside that the exhibit is a fairly large circular enclosure. We believe we’re always being watched and this facility is always open for viewing, observation, or studying us. There’s usually some kind of noise they’re making, you’ll see. I’m surprised right now there isn’t any noise though. They tend to be curious when someone new joins us. I’ve wondered if this place is their version of a sex club, like those on any of the G-ntose’ moons,” she said shaking her head slightly as if annoyed by that idea.
G-ntose, in the Fallon Quadrant of the Great Barrier Belt of planets, was well known for providing all manner of deviant pleasures. From drugs to sex to pretty much whatever your vice was, you could find it there and get it fairly cheaply depending on the credits you had in your possession. I was going to hope this place was a zoo facility and not something like G-ntose.
“You said ‘when things are happening down here’ and something about ‘get it’ – does that mean…” I asked sheepishly, fearing I knew what her answer would be already.
She thought about how to answer that for a moment before finally saying, “The ‘things happening’ and ‘get it’ are the same: what we’re doing, what they’ve brought us here for, to do, ‘breeding’, sex...”
I could only shake my head in disbelief.
“Expected behavior, so get used to the idea now, though we’re not sure how that’s supposed to work with you and Garrett.”
“I can tell you, it’s not!”
She took a moment to consider what she wanted to say before giving me a concerned look, much like the ones Garrett had given me since we officially met.
“Like I said, we’re all a bit confused with your presence here and what their expectations are. The last woman who was ‘coupled’ with Garrett, a biological woman, as we’ve all been until you arrived, lasted three days before she wasn’t here any longer. He’d said she refused to do what was expected of her, wasn’t going to do it no matter how much we tried to convince her, and on the morning of her fourth day she was gone.
“Transferred someplace, experimented on, or killed—we just don’t know. No one is much interested in finding out, though, so we do what they expect us to be doing and hope for the best. Mike had said there have been a few women who’ve come and gone that say our host’s outright killed those not participating in this program. Is that true or a rumor? I couldn’t tell you, but I don’t want to find out, so I play along, just like everyone else does.”
“Garrett said women have had trouble with pregnancies; how can that be?” I asked. Her pained look wasn’t lost on me, and I quickly apologized for the insensitivity of the question.
“Not a topic you’ll want to bring up with the others. But to put your curiosity to rest, we’re, the women, pulled out of her periodically for what we believe is medical care once they figure out we’re pregnant. Because we’re out of it when they take us; no one knows what they’re doing specifically, but whatever it is, it’s not helping any of us carry to term. I’ve miscarried twice right around the second trimester, and within days of those checks they had done on me,” she replied solemnly.
“I’m so sorry, Ali.”
“You know, the first time I didn’t deal with it very well. The second, I was actually kind of relieved, which is hard to admit. I haven’t told anyone this, but I really don’t want to bring any child into this fucked-up existence and have them ripped from my arms to get sent off to some other zoo or experimented on. I’m to the point of being scared to get pregnant because if you don’t miscarry, then you’re likely going to die while giving birth. Either way you lose your baby,” she said softly.
“I’m… I’m really sorry I asked,” I said, touching her hand. “How long have you been in here?”
“Little less than two CGD years, I guess. Mike’s been here way longer; I’m his sixth time at being ‘coupled’. He’s lost nineteen kids, including the two we lost together. Very nice guy, treats me as well as can be expected, though he’s not someone I’d have been attracted to outside of this place. Funny, we don’t get a choice of who we’re coupled with; it’s more luck of the draw.
“The guys kind of remain the same, unless they don’t play along, and the women rotate in and out for the same reason or are replaced if they’ve died during childbirth. Mike told me years ago the guys in here used to swap women all the time, but somewhere along the line he and another guy implemented a change to end that, and it kind of stuck, I guess. Like I said, Garrett’s a good man; he’ll treat you well from what I’ve seen.”
I shook my head at her. “I’m not a woman though, I... I mean, how is any of this going to even work? And even if I wanted it to work, shouldn’t I have been put in here as one of the guys?”
“Yeah, probably… We’ve got a little time to figure things out. Look, let’s at least see if any of these clothes are going to fit you. They’re gently used, like most of the stuff in here, but you’ll likely be more comfortable in these clothes than the stupid baggy they’ve had you wearing.”
Root CGD: Day 13 captivity: 8:12 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
Ali and I spent nearly an hour and a half talking nonstop while I tried on the clothing she’d brought for me to build a wardrobe. Most of the garments had actually fit – though tight in the shoulders. That kind of surprised me given they were made for women. The whole exercise wouldn’t have happened at all if she hadn’t ‘forced’ me to try everything on. Granted, she did so playfully, even when I tried to complain about whatever she handed me to try on next.
I heard ‘perceptions’ more times than I cared to have heard and gave up complaining after awhile.
She joked with me through most of it to keep me distracted because it was obvious I was uncomfortable wearing women’s clothing. There were a few instances where I was certainly embarrassed, like when I tried on the uniform like coverall dresses or skirt with matching uniform jackets. All these garments were from some organization and no one in the Exhibit Housing knew what planet or group or even time in history they were associated too.
To me the utilitarian style / function screamed military or some government issued uniform. The construction of the clothing included durable materials and different colors that could be a symbol of rank or maybe even a prestige indicator. And of course each garment had a numbered name plate on it which possibly identified the wearer or group they belonged with.
Ali was patient with me, gracious even, and got me through it without making me feel like I had to worry about being judged. She wasn’t ever critical when I complained and she always seemed to have something kind to say. I got hefty doses of encouragement from her, and I heard, ‘That looks really cute on you.’ or ‘Wow, that looks better on you than it would on me.’ too many times to count. Hearing those compliments was odd at first, but as the try-on session continued, I found I liked hearing what she thought, especially when whatever she was commenting on looked good on me.
Not that I thought I needed to impress anyone or wanted to for that matter, but there were parts of this experience I enjoyed because of her being so relaxed and friendly to me.
Wearing a bra would take some getting used to, though I was thankful for the barrier it provided between my incredibly puffy / sensitive nipples and them being aroused by every movement I made in that silk bag-like dress garment I’d been wearing since arriving here. I won’t miss that bag they had supplied me to wear and even joked about dancing around it on fire if she could make that happen. I would admit I liked the support wearing a bra offered, so there were a couple tangible benefits to wearing one after I’d been shown how and gotten them adjusted properly.
I was a little taken aback to hear her thoughts on my breasts after I’d accidentally flashed her while removing a bra that was too big so I could try on another.
“I remember when I was twelve, and mine looked like yours. Hate to break the news to you, but you’re likely to get at least a cup, maybe two, bigger. Having puffy nipples, breast buds, like yours generally means you’re still filling out,” she’d warned me.
Great! Yet another aspect of this new zoo life I didn’t want to have to deal with – having bigger breasts.
Thankfully, the idea women needed to wear makeup wasn’t something our host’s had planned for at all. There wasn’t much of that kind of thing available anyway, and Ali mentioned that none of the women did much in that regard unless they were dining together and felt like putting some effort into looking nice. I said I wouldn’t be ready for that kind of thing any time soon, which got her laughing, and I joined in because it just seemed silly to me to think I could look any better or womanly with the application of paints (makeup) to my face.
She offered to teach me the basics of its application in the next couple days. Since it was just the eight of us here, there really wasn’t a need to impress anyone, like on any of the civilized planets we’d come from or had visited. Not to mention they’d synthesized our soap and shampoo, which she said didn’t do all that great of a job of removing what makeup they’d provided or the other women had learned to make from some of the food items we were given. She mentioned there wasn’t much to do here, so teaching me how to apply it would be a good distraction for both of us.
“Makeup is more of a pain than it’s worth,” she’d complained.
She admitted she did wear something on her lips most days, but only because Mike had told her once he liked it. I got the feeling there was more to their connection than she was letting on but didn’t press. I figured she liked him enough to want to please him by doing something as simple as wearing lip gloss or lipstick, and if that worked for their relationship, good for them! As for Garrett and me, that wasn’t happening, and I shuddered thinking about our lips being anywhere near each others, though I was sure I felt differently in those dreams I’d had a few nights ago concerning kissing him.
My hair was long enough to be pulled back into a ponytail, and Ali helped me figure out getting that done right. It took a couple tries before I could do it well enough without some guidance. Never having had hair this long was something I would need to get used to. Specifically taking care of it and doing something with it other than letting it go naturally wild on the daily as I had been doing since waking up in this place. She told me Cayline was the resident hair care specialist and would be happy to put a little style into my unruly locks if I asked her.
I did get a little emotional a few times during our time together as she was guided me into a more feminine mindset. I told her I felt like I was stuck in a void between my former self and coming to grips with how I looked now. I wasn’t sure who I was supposed to be or how to be the person I looked like now.
“Don’t think of any of this as an act; just be yourself, and I promise you’ll find your way,” she said.
She left me with advice to not compare myself with any of the women I’d known or the women in the Exhibit Housing.
All told, our time together made me the proud owner of five previously enjoyed coverall dresses in three colors, one jacket and skirt uniform like outfit, a couple of bras, and four pairs of panties. There were a couple pairs of shorts I’d tried on that fit but were a little tight. She had said the shorts would have been something comfortable to sleep in, had they fit better.
“I generally just wear one of Mike’s shirts to sleep in. It’s not sexy by any stretch, but it’s comfortable, and he doesn’t seem to mind. I’d suggest stealing one of Garrett’s shirts for now,” she said and mentioned she was going to see if she could find shorts that might fit better later from one of the other women’s stock of clothing.
For shoes, she could only find a pair of sandals that had a chance of fitting but they ended up being a tiny bit too small. I could wear them to complete an ‘outfit’ she’d said if I really wanted to put up with them not being fully on my feet. I was a little disappointed to not have anything to wear, but oddly more so because I liked the way the sandals looked – though they were most definitely made for a woman. I’d been walking around barefoot since waking up in that holding pen and figured I’d survive without something for my feet in the Exhibit Housing too.
“You’ll find being a woman means there’s a lot of sacrificing your personal comfort for the sake of beauty,” she quipped about my heel hanging over the back end of the sandals by a centimeter – no matter how hard I tried to make them fit.
“Beauty? That’s a concept that doesn’t compute for me and is not even on my radar, Ali. I’m a long way from any of that sacrificing talk or accepting this new form,” I told her.
“Ah, you might want to take a long look in a mirror, I think you’ll rethink that idea.”
I was quick to try and change the subject back to shoes and being fine with walking around barefooted. She assured me she went around barefoot most of the time, as did the other women. I mentioned wishing I had a favorite pair of boots I used to wear daily before ending up here. She said maybe one of the guys had a pair of boots I could borrow. I was happy the conversation had moved in a different direction and the subject of beauty or my looks or common womanly concepts, ideas, and modes of operation had been put aside for the moment.
I wasn’t ready to face any of that yet, especially since I’d happily step into my old form in a heartbeat if given the chance. In the end, being dressed in women’s clothing felt less uncomfortable, but it was still a few galaxies away from my norm. Would I feel that way tomorrow about wearing these clothes? Who knows?
There were parts of our time together I felt Ali purposely wouldn’t engage with me about some question I’d asked. Specifically talk about getting out of here and any plans that were being considered. Garrett had returned right after I’d asked her the same sort of question a third time, though slightly different, and him walking in on us cut her dodging my question like she’d done the other times I’d asked. The look on her face told me she was purposely holding out on me. I’d have to push on her or Garrett for answers later.
When Garrett saw me, he was quick to compliment the coverall dress I was wearing and gave me a quick kiss on my cheek, which almost missed because I’d tried to pull back from him because I wasn’t expecting him to try and do that. I got worried looks from not only him, but Ali too. There wasn’t any dwelling on that reaction though, and he seamlessly jumped into asking about there being any shoes for me, and Ali told him that was going to be a problem.
“Let’s her feet traced on some paper and leave that by the stores port,” he said.
He went on to explain the ‘stores port’ because I’d looked like I was wondering about what that was. It was where / how our food was delivered, and in the past they’d tried to request items from our hosts on occasion by leaving them on paper with our garbage. Most requests weren’t successful due to what was figured to be a language barrier, but something simple like this our hosts had figured out before, so chances were good they’d come up with something.
“Stick a pair of unneeded smaller shoes with the trace; it’ll help solidify the request,” he said to Ali.
“I can live without shoes,” I replied.
“Can’t hurt to keep them busy or guessing we’re trying to communicate a need with them,” he said, turning to look at Ali. “You need her for anything else?”
"Nope, I think she’s set. So, we’re going to introduce her to the others tomorrow then?”
More 'she’ and ‘her’ talk directly being thrown at me, and I tried to not show I was bothered by that. It might appear I fit those identifiers, but inside there was a battle going on with that idea. Maybe I should try and explain that to them - again...
“Yeah, talked to the others, and we’ll have a lunch gathering out front like we usually do for the new arrivals. Think the hosts would think something was up if we didn’t. Cayline and Zenia are coordinating the food.”
“Alright then, guess I’ll see you both tomorrow,” she replied, smiling and wishing us both a good night before turning to leave us.
I started to follow her because I wanted to thank her again for helping me, but Garrett grabbed my arm gently, but firmly, to stop me from doing so. I was a little surprised, and when my head snapped toward him, the message on his face was clear—‘Stay put.’ For a split second I’d considered pulling away, but knew I’d get another lecture about ‘perceptions’. I ended up just standing there staring at him, wondering why he’d stopped me from following her. He’s got another thing coming if he thinks I’m going to put up with this moody, bossy asshole routine of his!
He waited for the door out front somewhere to close before speaking.
“This place is no joke, and it’s dangerous in the sense any one of us could get plucked out of here for not playing their role right or up to the expectations of those who run this place,” he paused to make sure what he said had sunk in. “I’m no safer than you, even though I’ve been here longer than everyone else except Mike.
“It’s not just the women that get pulled out of here, though they tend to more often be replaced than the men. The point is I don’t want to find out what they do with those who aren’t living up to their expectations. Shit, I don’t want that for anyone of us in here, but you can believe I’m going to play the part of ‘coupled’ with you like my life depends on it, because each of us in here believes those are the stakes.”
“I get that, and yeah, I… I have things to learn still, but can you cut me some slack? Let me get my bearings a little at least.” I complained.
“I want you to hug me.”
“Excuse me?” I asked – the annoyance I felt at his request dripping heavily in my tone.
His face said he wasn’t kidding or trying to be playful. He still had a hold of my arm, but I was intent on holding my ground because I couldn’t see the purpose of his request.
“Perceptions,” he said softly and tried his best to smile while looking up.
“Okay, I get that already!” I barked.
“Do it,” he growled softly. His request was now more of a command.
It took great effort to want to move towards him, but I complied and took a step closer, wrapped my arms tentatively around his waist, and laid my face on his chest so I wouldn’t have to look at him or endure his idiotic intensity with me right now.
“Listen,” he whispered.
To what I… Shit! I could hear faint clicking noises growing louder from somewhere above us and without moving my head, I looked up and around as best I could to pinpoint where the noise was coming from. I couldn’t see anything but what appeared to be a fading blue sky, as if the sun was setting on some distant ancient Earth-like planet. The clicking got softer and finally faded to next to nothing.
“Thank you,” he whispered next to my ear.
“Does that noise mean they’re watching us?”
“They’re always watching, especially when someone new joins us,” he replied softly. “When you woke this afternoon, there was a little bit of that going on, but very subdued and not typical for a new couple. I wanted to see if there was more of a crowd now and how closely we’re being watched. Apparently close enough to be all ‘clickety-click-clicking’ excited about this coupling or us holding one another.”
“What are we supposed to do?”
“Look, we haven’t figured out how this is supposed to work between you and me yet, but we need moments like this to prove we’re viable to whatever the hell this experiment means to the hosts. Everyone is worried you’re here as some kind of test, and since we’re coupled, I’m likely the one being tested. Could be my value to the Exhibit Housing might be in question or fuck, I just don’t know,” he answered with a touch of worry evident in his voice.
We were still holding one another, and I moved my head so I could look up at him. There were a few clicks, and then almost silence with the occasional soft click-click noise that could be one of them was having a quiet conversation with another – who knows.
“I don’t want anything to happen to either of us; I hope you can believe that,” I said, feeling a little flush and like there was more to that statement than just me wanting to save my own skin.
“I do, and I don’t want to make any of this difficult or worse for you, okay?” he asked, kissing my forehead again.
This time I didn’t flinch or look like I was repulsed. I could hear a few clicks coming from somewhere above us again, and I couldn’t help but look up and around the domed sky, now showing the occasional sparkle of a few stars as the artificial darkness rolled on. The room we were in hadn’t lost any of its lighting intensity, so I hoped we had control over that, or maybe they’d dim that when they wanted us sleeping?
“Thank you,” I whispered. “Why is this the first time I’ve heard them?”
“You didn’t know to listen, plus I think no one was up to anything that was all that interesting for them to watch so they’ve been quietly observing. Believe me, you’ll hear them clicking soon enough once everyone heads off to bed. You’ll get used to it; I hardly notice it anymore.”
::: --- :::
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Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: Day 14 captivity – 11:44 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
Garrett introduced me to each of the other three couples who’d gathered for my ‘Welcome’ luncheon in the small square the four housing units surrounded. I meet Mike first; who I knew was coupled with Ali, and could sense their connection was stronger than she’d led me to believe. I’d probably ask her about it later, because what I was seeing said she felt differently – unless it was an act and she was keeping up with that ‘perceptions’ mantra thing we all were supposed to subscribe to.
I was introduced to the coupled Liam and Cayline next, and they gave off a friendly and welcoming vibe. Liam seemed to have something humorous to say about everything and it was nice to get in a few laughs given how heavily stressed I was about meeting everyone dressed as I was and having them know I was coupled with Garrett in a nontraditional sense. I noticed Liam held Cayline’s hand throughout the luncheon and there were a couple times he kissed her cheek for no apparent reason. That behavior, which I’d also seen from Mike towards Ali, had me wondering if it was all for show and why Garrett insisted on kissing my forehead or cheek those few times yesterday, and even this morning after we’d gotten up.
Garrett and I had walked out of our house hand in hand to attend this gathering, so we were certainly displaying our supposed connection. It was a strange feeling to do that, but not as uncomfortable as I would have thought. Of course we were on full display for the other couples to see, but also to those who were monitoring us as well from above. Given the volume of those sporadic clicking noises, which I couldn’t help but look for the source a few times during the introductions, the answer was clear – we were being watched. As we went through the first of the introductions Garrett had either held my hand or switched to having his arm around me – even those changes in our ‘coupled’ display garnered differences in the damn clicking noises coming from above us.
It seemed like everyone’s behavior was completely normal for coupled pairs, but I help but think most of it was for show. Each couple seemed to be doing the same kinds of things as Garrett and I were. It had to be pleasing those watching and I so wanted to yell at whoever was but held my anger at them in check.
The last introduction was to Jessie and Zenia. Zenia seemed a little reserved, but Jessie I found to be aloof and a bit odd. Their attempts at looking the part of being coupled I was sure was all an act and not a very convincing one at that. Even their hand holding seemed fake and strained. When Zenia left us to do something at the table containing all the food it looked like she had done that just to get away from him. If I noticed it, did those watching us from above pick up on it? I’d have to remember to ask Garrett or Ali later.
Garrett had mentioned last night Jessie would be an ‘acquired’ taste and that he’d only been in the Exhibit Housing for going on four CGD months. Zenia was his second coupling and she arrived a few days after he had because his first coupling hadn’t worked out with a woman named Molly. Jessie had been Keith’s replacement due to health complications – which Garrett said was a rarity for the men in here. Molly, Garrett had said, was a few years older than Jessie and wanted nothing to do with him – she had been removed and replace by Zenia. Their coupling had Zenia pregnant within a month’s time, but they lost the baby after just six CGD weeks.
Miscarriages and mother’s dying during delivery were something Garrett had said no one liked talking about. The emotional tolls were heavy for everyone and the confusion as to why or how those things happened were a mystery with no solid clues to solving that issue. I had asked him what everyone thought was going wrong, but he had no answer.
Generally speaking everyone was polite and friendly during the introductions event. It didn’t mean I didn’t feel like there was a serious trust issue between all of us since I wasn’t an actual biological woman and didn’t fit the norm for someone who should be coupled with Garrett. I think some of my fellow specimens saw me as a threat to their safety within the exhibit, which in their places I would probably have those same feelings. It didn’t make it any easier for me to try and fit in and it was taking everything I had to continue to smile and not want to breakdown in front of these people or leave to go hide in our house.
Perceptions, perceptions – I was beginning to hate that idea to my core.
To distract my mind for losing my composure, when I wasn’t being engaged directly, I spent time observing our surroundings. It was the first time I’d been outside our house to see what this exhibit looked like and to fully understanding how confined this enclosure was. Sure, we had a computer generated landscape I didn’t recognize on the walls of the exhibit and a blue sky above us, but from one wall of our exhibit to the other it wasn’t more than thirty meters in either direction from that small square in the middle of the four houses.
Each of the houses, according to Garrett, were no different from the one we were assigned. Each had a single small bedroom, a kitchen and outer room area maybe the size of the holding pens we had been held in before making it to the Exhibit Housing, and of course a tiny bathroom. There were no windows in the houses and the only doors were on the front of the house and the bathroom – like that gave anyone any privacy with the open ceilings above our heads! We were being watched from above and who knew if our hosts didn’t have some other methods of keeping tabs on us from inside the houses. Augh!
Furniture was sparse within the houses, the bed we’d slept in together last night wasn’t comfortable at all, and it was smaller than expected – which meant our bodies were touching each other all night long. Last night being the first time we’d shared the bed I was thankful that Garrett had been a gentleman. He’d woken up aroused this morning with what I hoped was typical ‘morning wood’. Luckily he just needed to pee – not that I would have willingly participated in any other ideas he might have had.
I remembered the last time something like what Garrett had experienced had happened to me was the morning before the ship had been crippled or attacked. If Ali was right, that I’d been pumped with female hormones for six CGD months or more, that not only explained my body’s radical development, but maybe why I hadn’t had any nocturnal erections. Was that why what remained of my manhood was smaller and unresponsive to self-stimulation? All of this stuff was a concern and difficult to not look or be depressed about.
I found it funny that our captors assumed all we were capable of doing or spent every waking moment thinking about was what Ali had alluded to yesterday - having sex. That made no sense to me as we’d each been captured while on ships in open space from what I’d understood from the others. That alone should tell them we were technologically advanced beyond some primal need to only want to procreate! And how was it they knew about how humans dwelled or interacted or the foods to synthesize so we could eat or the clothes we wore – but boiled our existence down to a singular focus? I had so many questions without answers and I know I had bored Garrett to death last night asking these and so many others.
While I was getting food from the table that had been set up Ali joined me, since I was alone, to check in on me. I tried to keep it positive, but felt none of that. She said I looked cute, which she meant to tell me earlier, but had complained Mike had kind of dominated the conversation when I’d been introduced and she hadn’t had a chance to get that message across. I doubt she knew what that meant to me and that I needed to hear something positive – though it was odd I appreciated her saying that since I was wearing a coverall type dress for some unknown galactic organization.
All the head games that were laid on me would take years of psychotic drug treatment to fix when I finally got out of here and got my damn body back.
“You sleep alright?”
“I think I asked too many questions of Garrett last night, he’d fallen asleep on me, like afterwards,” I said smiling.
“He did? And you guys are alright?”
“Yeah, I think so, why?” I asked looking at her closely to try and understand where that question had come from.
“So you tried then?”
“Huh? Tried what?” I asked, but it hit me what she was really asking. “Oh, no, no, no… I mean we just lay there, and talked, so no. I mean he may have held me most of the night, and no, yeah no, nothing happened.”
“Alright, easy girl… Can’t blame me for asking and you’d said he’d fallen asleep on you… I just assumed it was from exertion,” she replied with a giggle.
There was no mistaking the mischief in voice or the tiny smile on her face concerning her curiosity about how we managed our first night together. There wasn’t any escaping this places expectations, even if his and my coupling wasn’t the norm.
“I bored him to death, not anything else. It was our first night,” I whispered. “I heard enough clicking going on above us from the rest of you though, you guys were coupling on and on and on,” I said trying hard to suppress a knowing giggle, but gave up and laughed at my admission.
“Wasn’t us… Well, at least not last night,” she said looking like there was more to that statement.
“That chorus of clicking this morning? That was you two?”
A shrug and sly smile was my answer as she grabbed something from the table that looked like a roll saying, “Might have been...”
She had a smile on her face and I couldn’t help myself, “Oh my... Well good for you! You crack me up, Ali!”
We rejoined the group sitting on the artificial padding that might resemble a type of grass from ancient Earth or some other planet and no sooner had I sat I was asked to tell those gathered about how I’d come to join them. I recanted my story again and it seemed to hold everyone’s attention. I got the feeling that since I’d been asked to repeat the story, there was a want to see if my story would change or if I’d innocently left out some important detail. I was going to ask Garrett about the need to repeat my story later and ask about the feeling of mistrust I got from a few of the others.
Great interest was given to the fact that I’d piloted, navigated, and even captained several different types of freight carrying space craft over the past twelve CGD years. Mike had plenty of questions for me after I’d made that bit of my skill set known the first time around, not as many the second. The few he asked contained follow-on questions, some that Liam would interject a point or concern. Bottom line for all that questioning was that both men wanted to know whether I thought I could board an alien craft and figure out how to fly it cold, aka without any instruction.
The best answer I could give was ‘maybe’ and it depended on the technology imbedded in whatever craft I was expected to fly. Generally speaking, ‘maybe’ meant the odds bordered on five to ten percent without any basic familiarization or training, but I wasn’t going to share that with them. I’d piloted, though briefly, a few crafts that weren’t at all traditional and of various alien species design. Two of those had relied on a neuro-link to operate them and weren’t much fun to pilot due to what it had taken out of me during and afterwards. The first couple times I’d barely lasted thirty minutes at the helm and I had a headache and random nose bleeds for a CGD week after the last time I’d done that with a Sunginian troop transport craft.
When that topic of conversation dried up, Liam asked about my transition, and I shared again that I had not set out to transition or be transgendered or whatever label they wanted to throw at what was happening to me.
“You never had a want to be a woman?” he’d asked skeptically, but without accusation.
“No, it never was something I’d considered doing. Like I said, my First Officer had identified that our hormonal differences, when our ship had been hit by whatever disabled us, was what she thought was causing all the men of my crew that debilitating pain we were experiencing. She wasn’t affected and she reported that none of the other women from my crew were affected, so I allowed her to give me a dose of female hormones. We lost four male crew members that day,” I finished speaking that last fact softly.
“I’m sorry about that… I don’t remember anything after we got slapped by whatever my ship was hit by before ending up here,” Liam replied.
I heard pretty much the same from Mike and Garrett.
Jessie had just said, “Yeah, same I guess…”
I think the only reason he spoke was to not look like he was avoiding participating in the conversation. I got the sense my not being a biological female concerned him the most. He had barely said anything to me after we met and spent most of the time watching me as if I were going to do something unexpected, like attack someone in the group. It was odd behavior and I think Zenia sensed my being uncomfortable with him and had whispered something to him an hour into the luncheon and he stopped being so creepy for a little while.
The gathering wound down after the second hour and a barely perceptible look from Mike to Garrett speed up the ending. I assumed the gathering was over because both men were speaking quietly to their coupled partners after that apparent signal.
“We’re going to go talk about some stuff. Can you please help the girls get things cleaned up?” Garrett asked softly in my ear.
The look on my face told him clearly I wasn’t happy about being relegated to cleaning up or being excluded because someone thought I was nothing more than one of the ‘girls’.
“What is the brain trust going to be discussing?” I asked next to his ear so as to hide my displeasure from the others.
“I’ll tell you about it when I get back to the house, but for now I need some understanding, trust, and less attitude,” he said smiling a fake ass smile that annoyed me as much as being told to go help clean up.
“I can give you or anyone else here all kinds of attitude if you’d like,” I hissed softly and smiled back at him with a smile that was as genuine as his.
“Please Cameron, just play along for now,” he pleaded quietly.
I saw Ali getting up, Mike saying something to Jessie and then nodding to Liam to follow him to his house. Zenia and Cayline were already moving towards the table of food; Ali was gathering the few plates she and Mike had used, and I was feeling like the ‘odd woman’ out in too many ways to count.
I felt myself being pulled gently to my feet by Garrett, hugged quickly, and watched him turn to catch up to the other guys.
What the just happened?!
Root CGD: Day 14 captivity – 2:59 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
The women made short work of getting the luncheon mess straightened up and put away. Dishes were washed in Zenia’s house and Ali and I got the remaining food items put onto plates everyone could take home with them. Cayline had commented she wouldn’t have to cook dinner tonight, and while that might have held true for all of us it made me bristle again to think these men might consider my role here the same as these women.
When there was nothing left to do I thanked everyone for the welcome and left. Ali followed me home, since the ‘men’ were in her house doing ‘manly’ things, and once inside the door I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer.
“What the hell was that?” I barked.
“Look, I get it and I’m impressed you didn’t tell Garrett or the rest of them to piss off,” she said carefully because she knew I was struggling to not boil over and not wanting this conversation to get too loud since there wasn’t a roof on this house. “You got our stories; none of us women have much in the way of skills, other than Zenia who did some nursing in a clinic on some outpost that might have seen twenty patients in a CGD year by the sounds of it. I get it you’re not the kind of woman who…”
I cut her off, “Ali! I’m not a damn woman!”
“Yes, of course, but you kind of are… You’re being here is complicated for these guys and I think they’re struggling to navigate bringing you into the decision making group right now. Mike was a soldier with the Planetary Guild, so was Liam, so they kind of have that ‘command’ attitude at times. Jessie, I’m not sure he hadn’t just gotten off his moms teat before ending up here, though he says he worked on bilinear whatever blah blah blah propulsion systems no one has ever heard of before. And Garrett was a technician for relay satellites, so he’s got technical skills I think.”
“Yeah, I got all of that when they each told their stories… But who’s most qualified to fly our asses out of here if we get the chance?” I complained.
“Understood, but… Look, you’re new here and different than anyone else who’s ended up here, so I don’t know,” she said looking like she was thinking about what she really wanted to say or how to say it diplomatically. “Can’t you sit back, observe, figure out their little boy hierarchy bullshit, and for now just wait to insert yourself or whatever? I’ll be behind you if you think you can lead this group of misfits, though I don’t hold much sway.”
“I’m not trying to be the leader,” I complained some more, though not as forcefully.
“Alright, but you need to know they’ve got something you don’t, experience here. Not to mention they know a thing or two about this place,” she finished saying with a little more confidence since I still hadn’t lost my shit completely yet.
“Sure, but are we part of this team? Do these guys think we’re of no more use than what our hosts think our roles are here?”
“I don’t think that’s how they see us,” she challenged.
“What do they know about this place we don’t?” I asked. Ali looked like she’d hoped I wouldn’t have asked that question, so I followed up with another to reassure here I would keep her confidence, “Who am I going to say anything to?”
“You can’t say anything to anyone, understand?”
I nodded I did.
“The last thing Mike told me a week ago was they may have figured out some way to disable or get around the stores port opening. If you say anything about that to Garrett it could put me on the outside with Mike.”
“Okay, so I won’t say anything, but you’re saying they have some kind of a plan then?”
“To get through the stores port opening, yes, but beyond that they need to know what’s behind these walls so they can plan the next steps I guess,” she replied, but I could tell she wasn’t happy about having told me any of that.
“Do you know how they plan to do that?” I asked and the look on her face told me she knew something but was hesitant to say any more than she had already. “You’ve given me part of the story; you can’t exactly put it back in the vault now…”
“All I know is they plan to have some of us distracting the crowds while Jessie and Zenia see how far they can get.”
“Why those two?”
“We’ve experimented and they’re not as ‘followed’ as the rest of us.”
“Followed?”
“Come on Cameron, the ‘clicking’, the reason for all that noise above us,” she said with a little exasperation.
“Oh… Experimented like taking turns to see who’s most entertaining for…,” I started saying but was interrupted.
“Yes, that… They’re either not very interesting while, well ‘coupling’ or whatever they’re doing together for that matter. Also, their house is closer to the stores port opening and we’ve had them outside a number of times trying to… You know, look uninteresting to our audience, and they’ve seen the thing opening and part of a room behind the opening.”
When I didn’t have anything to say she asked, “What?”
“Jessie’s age makes him the least experienced and isn’t Zenia valuable here for her medical skills?” I asked concerned.
“I’ll give you that on Jessie, but are you concerned about him just because you don’t like him?”
“I don’t like him, but that’s first impressions because he was just odd all afternoon until Zenia said something to him. That reined in his creepiness, but I caught him leering at me a few times and I didn’t like the way that made me feel,” I complained.
“Get used to it, guys tend to do that when there’s an attraction,” she said chuckling. “He’s done that with all of us and once confronted it slows his creepiness down. Cayline and I think he’s getting more arousal juice than the other guys since they aren’t as popular a couple.”
“Augh, don’t tell me of that! I certainly hope that’s not the case about arousal drugs or whatever…”
“Believe me, Zenia is certain he’s either getting more of it somehow or it’s having an adverse effect on him.”
“What’s that mean?”
“She said he’s erect nearly all the time. That isn’t normal. And like I said, for us girls, well we’ve agreed our own ‘drives’ are way different than before coming here so it’s for certain their spiking our food with something...”
I thought about Garrett this morning and wondered if there was more to his being erect than needing to pee – like somehow getting more ‘arousal juice’. We hadn’t talked about it but it was probably something we…
“You notice something with Garrett?” she asked like she knew what I was thinking.
“No…”
“Okay,” she replied not at all confident I’d told her the truth. “Are you feeling any different?”
“Yeah, no… Nothing like any of that,” I assured her.
“Zenia thinks you’re getting the same hormones as the rest of us girls.”
“Maybe… I guess it could explain some of these radical changes, especially if it’s been months and not just the result of a single dose like I thought.”
“You know, if you’re going to feel anything like aroused…,” she began but I cut her off quickly.
“That’s not happening!”
“Gotcha, but let’s say you were or whatever, you’re going to experience all that differently. It’ll be more cerebral and certainly not like the guys single ‘Pop!’ and then needing time to recover to be ready to go again. Yeah, you’ll ride a few intense waves that maybe sneak up on you and then you’ll chase that next one hard trying to let it consume you,” she replied seriously, but the little grin on her face made it difficult to take her seriously.
I was positive she was screwing with me and needed to get serious about shutting this conversation down.
“None of that is happening… Or is going to happen.”
“Your face tells a different story, just say’n...”
“It doesn’t say anything, come on Ali!”
“Cayline was watching you pretty closely with Garrett, she said there was a ‘twinkle’ in your eyes when you looked at him.”
“What! No! I am attracted, no, I’m NOT attracted to him and there is no twinkle or whatever in me,” I said feeling a little flush.
Root CGD: Day 14 captivity – 4:22 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I’d just said there was no ‘twinkle’ in me when a small chorus of clicking caught my attention. I was looking up and around, and then back at Ali. “What now?” I asked.
“The boys are probably done with their meeting and I’ll bet Liam just got home to Cayline or less likely Jessie to Zenia?”
“And that happens?”
“Doesn’t take much to get,” she stopped talking as Garrett opened the door and walked in on us.
He looked confused that the conversation we were having ending abruptly and asked, “What’s going on ladies?”
“I asked about the clicking,” I replied.
“Ah… Well that happens when the couples get together after a break,” he said.
“You realize that’s messed up right?” I asked him.
“Get used to it, because it’s going to follow us around,” he turned to ask Ali if that was true, “Right?”
“Unfortunately, but you’ll tune that out soon enough,” she said.
“I seriously doubt it,” I complained to them both, but was looking directly at Garrett.
Ali, was turning to leave and I followed her to the front porch, closing the door behind me for a moment of privacy. She looked confused as to why I’d followed her out.
“Any chance we could meet out here and talk later?” I asked in a hushed tone.
“I guess… Why?”
“If I can’t say anything to him about plans or being included in their club, I’d like to at least know what the meeting was all about and if it accomplished anything. Mike will likely tell you, right?”
“Oh, sure, I guess, though I don’t generally ask, he just shares. I’ll come back around 8 if that’s good…”
“That works, thank you and thank you for listening to me vent, I really do appreciate it. I just want us all to get out of here…”
She leaned in to hug me, which got a couple clicking noises from above us, and then walked across the courtyard to her house. When she walked in, without looking back, I turned and entered my own house. Garrett hadn’t moved and looked like he wasn’t happy I’d just walked out on him. Whatever!
“Your meeting was productive I take it?” I asked walking towards him to wrap my arms around him, but he held me back. I was trying to play to the crowd and all that perceptions crap and here he was stopping me? I couldn’t help but stare at him confused.
“Yes, and no,” he said expressionless.
Something was wrong. This anti-coupling mode he was pulling wasn’t his normal behavior.
“What’s that mean?” I asked still confused.
“We’re working on something, but to make that work might require some changes.”
Like being repulsed by me now and not looking like we’re a couple any longer? What had changed in the past two hours?!
“Like what? There isn’t much to this existence that could even change, so what are you even talking about?”
He was slow to answer, “The coupling…”
“Changing the couples around? I thought that practice was given up a long time ago?”
“It was, but it might be necessary in the short term to furthering our escape.”
“You’re planning an escape then,” I asked trying to sound like it was the first time I’d heard such a radical idea expressed.
“I think you knew we were working on that. I’m sure Ali told you something… I don’t for a second think you have a ‘let it lie’ personality.”
“I’m more of a get involved type. I’d hoped to be more of a participant in the planning… So, you want to tell me about this plan and what change to coupling is coming?”
He explained in higher detail those things Ali had told me, including details about what Jessie had actual seen in the room behind the stores portal. The general plan involved recon, trying to understand the facility, getting back to the exhibit without our hosts noticing or if possible making a break for it.
“Seems straight forward,” I said when he was done speaking. “You mentioned a change though?”
“We need you coupled with Jessie…”
I’m sure the surprise on my face wasn’t lost on him and I felt a rush of anger spike momentarily. Jessie wasn’t someone I’d have hired for my ship’s crew and certainly wasn’t someone I wanted to pretend to play house with in this exhibit.
“That’s not something I really want to do. Why him at all?”
He took a minute to consider his reply, “If you two can get to a ship, the likelihood of there being a Particle-Conveyor (PC) is highly likely to transport us out of here. That’s how they pull the women out for medical care, while everyone is sleeping. We figure its how we were all transported off our ships and ending up here. Jessie says he can figure out operating a PC quickly to get us out of here while you’re getting the ship out of orbit and as far away from this shit hole as possible.”
“I thought you had the technical skills in this group?”
“I do, but not in that area. I’m a communications guy,” he explained.
“I don’t like Jessie, he creeps me out if I’m being honest.”
“He’s harmless…”
“Don’t care and don’t want to be alone with him,” I complained but stopped speaking due to a crescendo of noise coming from above us.
Whoever was watching us was clicking like I’d never heard before from the computer generated sky above us, I looked at Garrett questioning what was going on and he just shook his head.
“What the hell?!” I asked worried.
He didn’t get a chance to as answer because the front door opened and a sobbing Zenia came in and ran straight to Garrett’s waiting arms. I could only watch, my mouth agape, as the clicking noises our hosts were making droned on and on and on...
::: --- :::
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Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: Day 16 captivity: 1:41 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
It had been two days since the brain trust in the Exhibit Housing had decided my fate. They had made that decision without my buy-in, and to make matters worse, their plan was implemented earlier than Garrett had anticipated. We were both blindsided when Zenia burst into our house sobbing and ended up in his arms. That bit of theater made me the odd woman out, and I resigned myself to going to Jessie’s house to get filled in on what the hell had just happened and why earlier than Garrett had expected.
When I couldn’t get a straight answer from Jessie, I gave up and just ended up going to bed even more annoyed and smarting from being replaced.
Garrett told me yesterday how messed up the plan had been when we’d spoke, the first time since having been officially ‘uncoupled’, and told me he was about to fill me in on what was going to happen when Zenia barged in. He assured me the plan was to give me a heads up before we were uncoupled, and I believed him through each of the three apologizes he’d laid on me. The last thing he had mentioned was that Zenia was mortified I hadn’t been told, though she’d not sought me out to talk about the switch as of yet. That made seeing her a little more awkward the couple times I saw here around the small enclosure we were housed in.
Whatever!
The end goal of all that drama was to get me coupled with Jessie and make it possible for us to explore the stores port together. The prevailing belief by those governing this group was we had the right skill sets for this exploratory attempt at escaping. Jessie had technical skills related to small to midsized ships propulsion systems, Particle-Conveyor (PC) operation to transport those in the exhibit onto a ship, and a few other ship-related computer systems skills. I brought to the table the ability to fly ships out of here—if we made it that far or could even find one after making it into the stores port.
Had anyone considered our experience wouldn’t mean shit if this race of alien tech couldn’t be figured out?
The clicking aliens watching their little zoo experiment unfold down here ate all the drama up! They had clicked plenty then, and when I went to Jessie’s house feeling dejected and unwanted that night. I cried a lot that night, and Jessie had done his best to console me—while the clicking chorus rose and fell depending on whether he was holding me or just sitting next to me trying to keep me from tipping over any further. Nothing he told me that first night made the sting of the swap any less painful, but at least he was less creepy than he’d been at the welcome picnic.
Being replaced by Zenia had absolutely bothered me. I was still, two days into this swap, annoyed with how my new ‘coupling’ had come about. I tried hard to reason I needed to be a team player and sideline my disappointment with what had been planned for me. I had to remind myself that getting out of here was more important than any feelings I might have about being coupled with Garrett and that if we got out of here all that wouldn’t matter anyway because I’d immediately seek reversing all these changes. No more coupling and no more Garrett when I got back to my life.
Feelings? Moot…
Not only was it believed Jessie and I had the best skill sets for an exploratory escape attempt, but there was the idea that it had been a while since anyone had swapped partners and it would help throw our hosts off from what we were trying to accomplish. The braintrust was banking on there being a feeling-out period for each of the new couples, a reset of the acclimation period, and our hosts would likely delay acting unfavorably if we weren’t right back to participating in their breeding program—at least those that could. Garrett and I hadn’t made it that far—and couldn’t participate as couples in here were expected—so while I could rationalize the plans moving parts, it didn’t mean I had to like it.
I wanted to be contributing and be included in the leadership group; I just didn’t want to have given up being comfortable with Garrett to get there.
As soon as I was all moved into Jessie’s house, the other couples acted like Garrett and I had never been coupled to begin with. I was going to play my new ‘coupled’ role as expected, which included keeping Jessie at arm’s length to maintain his / our ‘boring’ status for our hosts and whatever spectators were out there. No surprise, I didn’t have to put much effort into that to be convincing because I was still trying to figure out if I liked the guy, even though he was super supportive that first night. So far, avoiding him was the easiest part of this new coupling.
Not twenty minutes ago, it was decided over lunch at Mike and Ali’s house that Jessie and I were a ‘Go!’ tomorrow night with the exploration of the store's port. That meeting had been between the men and me, with none of the other women having been invited or seemingly consulted. I found it interesting that not once during the entire lunch did anyone say anything about the idea of me needing to be coupled with Jessie. All I heard was the collective saying ‘we thought’ and ‘you two’ spoken as the reason for the change and everyone thinking we’d have the best chance of success should we run into a ship while exploring outside the Exhibit Housing.
When the meeting was over, I left quickly and took up a spot on the porch of my new home. I noticed the door to Liam and Cayline’s house opening and Ali walking out onto the porch. She gave a little wave and came over to join me. We hadn’t really talked much in the past two days other than little waves or nods of acknowledgment. I wasn’t sure why, though I suspected she knew this Jessie coupling was coming and that I wouldn’t be happy about it if forewarned.
“How’s it going?” She asked as she approached and then sat with me.
“As well as can be expected, I guess,” I began and then decided to press her for an answer to what felt like she was avoiding me. “Are we good still?”
She looked surprised by the question.
“Yes… I thought you’d be pissed about the new coupling so wanted to give you some time to adjust. I know it’s not what you wanted, and then, well, losing Garrett and all.”
Ah, pillow talk with the leader of our group obviously, and she knew this was coming but chose not to warn me. I still would have liked a heads-up from my closest female friend in this place.
“I was pissed, but at least I’m being included as part of the brain trust now. You should have told me though,” I said with a raised brow. “Not that they probably would have listened to my concerns about this plan to be coupled with Jessie. Guess I should be happy I’ve got a seat at the table, though. I could have used a friend to vent too about this.”
“I’m really sorry, Cameron,” she said, while shrugging apologetically.
“You hear we’re going to try getting out of here tomorrow night?”
“Yeah, Mike told me. How’s it going with Jessie?”
I gave her a look that said I wasn’t in the mood for a deep ‘coupling’ conversation before answering her with, “We’ve established boundaries, and he’s held to them for the most part.”
“That’s good to hear. You learn anything interesting about him? I mean, I assume you two have talked.”
“We have, and no, not really... He’s twenty-four, originally from Rilon, had an unremarkable childhood, and worked at a propulsion lab the past couple years—all stuff you’d told me. He certainly hates it here and what’s expected of him; he’s made that perfectly clear. He’s got the typical complaints we all have, so nothing ‘new’ per say,” I replied.
“Is the age difference an issue?”
“What issue? Not like I’m that much older than him; come on,” I jested and bumped shoulders with her.
“No, four years isn’t much, but that’s not what I meant, though. Do you think he will follow your lead once through the stores port?”
I had to think about that for a few seconds.
“Likely, but before we try, I’m going to lay it out for him and the other guys that if he doesn't, he’s on his own. I’ll get out of here if I can and figure out getting the rest of you out of here or come back with reinforcements at the very least.”
“Seems reasonable,” she said, patting my leg. “We all appreciate the risk you’re taking; I hope you know that.”
“I do; I want to get out of here as much as everyone else does. I just hope we can deliver. No pressure though,” I said with a chuckle.
“Only do what you think you can do safely, alright? No one expects anything more than an exploratory search and for you both to return unscathed. If you get an opportunity to escape, do it; just don’t forget us little people.”
“I couldn’t ever do that, I promise. If we can find a way to get out of here, everyone is coming with us,” I said, looking at her to emphasize the point and then laying my head on her shoulder for a second.
“If we get out of here, any chance you and Garrett pick back up where you left off?” She asked with a wicked grin.
“Ali!” I groaned, looking at her, shaking my head. “When we get out of here, I’m getting all this reversed. It’s been an interesting ride, but this isn’t me.”
She stared at me for a few seconds before saying, “But you like him though; you can’t deny that.”
What I felt for Garrett was confusing, and I did feel something certainly, but it would be hard to categorize exactly what that was. I figured whatever they were giving the ‘women’ in here had garbled and most definitely compromised my emotional state since I’d never been attracted to, let alone been interested in, men before. Was what I felt a physical attraction only? Was knowing him for a couple weeks enough time to even have connected feelings for someone? He put up with our coupling, tried to help me adjust, and I was sure he was happy to be back to having a partner that was less problematic than me. AUGH!
“Come on, I like everyone here. Mike, you, Liam, and I’m not attracted to Garrett,” I shared finally, wanting her to believe that, though it sounded like a lie even to me.
“Garrett told me he was worried about you, and I really think there was more to it, but Mike walked in on us talking, and he changed the subject quickly.”
“He’s a big boy and part of the leadership group, so he’s going to be concerned about all of us lowly women. I feel like when he told me about the other women who’d been pulled out of here, not by choice or those that passed during childbirth, it really did a number on him because he couldn’t save them. I think he likes everyone, and you’re reading way too much into it.”
“If you say so, but Zenia said he called out your name last night while he was sleeping.”
Root CGD: Day 17 captivity: 1:18 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
We were standing on the side of our house when the stores port opened. Jessie had said they were late, which could have been because we were out here or because we were being watched closer since we were newly coupled. We had been acting like we were enjoying each other’s company, so maybe that was what was throwing our hosts off and the reason for them being late to opening the port?
I watched over his shoulder as the crate we’d set with our garbage was pulled in, and longer than expected, it was replaced with a crate of food items.
“You see the blinking sensor near the bottom?” Jessie whispered in my ear while his hands held my hips, his back to the port. “We’ll need to keep out of the beams or the door will slam shut.”
“How are the crates making it through?” I asked, annoyed that we were this close to one another and that I had to allow this.
Surprisingly, or not, there were barely any clicking noises coming from above us while we were out here like this. Was it late for visitors to the exhibit? Could they sense the strain between him and me and tell nothing was going to happen? Of course, that there was any clicking at all was annoying to me, and on top of that, having Jessie’s lips next to my ear wasn’t helping my attitude in the least.
“Reflective circuitry, likely a magnetic ion gaseous beam... We’ve magnetized metals and hidden them in the trash. The disruption causes the beams to be less intense on the sensors, and for some reason, instead of that causing a failsafe and immediate closing of the port it does the opposite, like gumming up the mechanism circuitry. Garrett and I aren’t exactly sure why. Magnets will allow us more time to get through the port though, so that’s why we've been doing it in preparation for tomorrow night. I mean tonight?”
“Yeah, whatever… I don’t see much in that room. You ever see any of our hosts milling around in there?”
“No, we’ve never seen any activity in there. See the red light in the corner, head high. I think that’s a door just to the left.”
That was debatable, but if we could make it in there tonight, we could figure it out—if there weren’t any of our hosts present or they weren’t monitoring that room remotely or the crowd looking down on this place didn’t sound an alarm once we made our move. I hoped once in there we could find a way for us to get back in here if things went wrong. Why hadn’t that been more of a concern to anyone? What do we do if we can’t get back in?
“If they're scanning for organics, we’ll get detected,” I stated absently, trying not to look into his eyes but failing because he was now blocking my view of the ports opening. I leaned left to see around him to solve having our noses millimeters from one another.
“We send organics out of here in the form of waste, so likely not a problem. We’ve been putting additional waste in with the garbage; the hope is they’ve adjusted their sensors.”
“’Additional’ waste?” I asked as the stores port closed quickly and without any warning.
The port had remained open for approximately twenty-six seconds before it closed according to my unscientific measurement of ‘One Orion’s Belt, Two Orion’s Belt, Three...’ count.
“Human waste, shit,” he said, moving his face directly in front of mine again.
“Alright, I get it, but we’re a bit more than a few hunks of ‘waste’. Look, the port is closed; let’s head inside and talk out what we think our plan should be.”
He continued to stare at me, not moving, and I almost thought he hadn’t heard me until his face was actually moving closer and he brought his lips to mine before I realized what he was doing or could turn away. I felt his tongue brush my lips and...
I couldn’t move fast enough to get away from him after he’d connected for that brief second, and I might have pushed at his chest while hissing menacingly.
“What the fuck, Jessie!”
He was slow to answer, but began saying something about it being an accident and started rambling about it being hard for him in here and...
“I don’t care,” I interrupted him. “I’m not a woman; I didn’t choose this; what part of my having told you and everyone else that is confusing to you?”
“I know, I do, I... Well, you and Garrett, though, and I thought... I thought maybe you were more Transgendered in your Whatever,” he gave up, sounding exasperated at needing to explain his having just kissed me on the lips since being coupled for two days.
“Me and Garrett? There’s no me and him anything!” I growled.
“We all saw you together; I just thought maybe you were... You know, whatever…”
“Whatever? Whatever what? What the hell are you talking about, Jessie? Together, whatever, Trans... Do you think I’m gay or something?” I asked, unable to contain my annoyance at not having gotten a straight answer out of him.
“Yes,” he replied quietly.
He looked like he was on the verge of crying, and it made me wonder if all that stuff Ali had told me about him being given too much ‘arousal’ juice was actually something entirely different. Maybe he was getting female hormones instead of the stuff meant for the guys!
Whoa… Wait, wait, wait, is he gay? Is that why he hasn’t fared well in here?!
“Look, I’m sorry,” I whispered.
That got me a slight shake of his head and a meaningless shrug.
“You’ve had problems assimilating this zoo crap because you’re gay, right?” I asked softly, maybe even with a little caring and understanding in my tone. If I was right, this existence had to be as difficult for him to navigate as it was for me in this transitional state.
His answer hadn’t come immediately and wasn’t even spoken. Instead there was a slight nod of ‘Yes’ and he walked away from me to head inside without saying anything else.
Root CGD: Day 17 captivity, 2:01 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I’d been lying in our bed for easily thirty minutes, waiting for Jessie to finish in the bathroom. He was taking a shower, and I had considered getting up to check on him, but heard the water shutting off and figured he wouldn’t be much longer. Three minutes later, he entered our darkened bedroom, crawled into bed, and rolled away from me without saying anything.
“You alright?”
“I’m sorry about earlier, Cameron.”
“Don’t worry about it. I mean, I was just a little surprised, that’s all,” I replied and added quickly, “By the kiss, not the ‘gay’ thing or you thinking I might be attracted to men. Hell, anymore, I don’t know what I feel about what’s happened to me if I’m being honest.”
“Zenia knows… I don’t think she’s said anything to anyone; I’d appreciate it if you could keep that between us, please.”
“I won’t say anything. Ali and I have talked about all kinds of things, and that has never come up about you. I doubt it’s suspected or whatever. I think Zenia has kept your secret, and so will I. You realize no one will care though?”
“I know, but you know that’s not how many of the alien species we’ve all come into contact with out there operate. If these,” he rolled onto his back so he could see me before finishing his thought, “Hosts are like that, binary; I’m as good as dead.”
Most of the alien species I’d come into contact with didn’t give a damn about humans and thought we were inferior beings regardless of our sexual leanings. If you made it past the initial contact with them and they hadn’t tried to kill you, not many were interested in killing you if they found out you were gay. The idea it mattered was more a humankind issue anymore and was archaic as fuck. Yet as a race of beings, we’d gone centuries without that mattering—until it was allowed to creep back in on some of the planets we inhabited the past couple hundred years.
Annoying really, but I got why he had concerns but doubted it had anything to do with our hosts.
“I’m still here, and if they had a problem with it, I doubt I’d have made it to the Exhibit Housing,” I said softly. “I don’t get the other guys are too worried about me.”
“You are a concern, Cameron, to all the guys, but only in the sense our hosts pull people out of here for not participating in their program. So, whoever is coupled with you, I can promise, is feeling the pressure and is worried they’ll go before you do.”
I knew that to be true; Garrett had told me about being worried about being pulled out of here. Was Jessie really worried about me being coupled with him or just worried about us trying to get out of here later tonight?
“Did you have someone in your life before this place?” I asked.
“Aaric… I met him while at school, and we,” he couldn’t finish his sentence before he began to sob silently.
I’m not sure why, but I pulled him to me and held him while trying to reassure him he’d figure it out after we got out of here. While holding him, I’d buried my face in his neck and squeezed him tight. I felt him returning the embrace, and when he completely let loose, freely sobbing and straining to breathe, I knew it was because he couldn’t contain his heartbreak and pain any longer.
I kissed his neck and whispered in his ear, “It’s alright... Let it go; try and relax; we’ll figure this out.”
I could feel him struggling to regain his composure, but his heart was not going to allow it as another wave of despair rolled over him. He tried to roll away, but I held him steady.
“Jessie… Please, just talk to me.”
He gave up trying to break free after a moment and, with great effort, huffed a few deep breaths slowly to try and regain his composure.
“I’m… Sorry,” he whispered a few seconds later through a choked sob.
I loosened my hold on him and took up a position at his side again so that I could better look down on him lying on his back next to me. For a brief moment I felt like I’d done this before; had been lying next to someone trying to console them while lying next to them and looking down at the person. I couldn’t place the exact memory or face of the person, but I absolutely was doing that in my current female form during that encounter.
Jessie opened his eyes to search mine, maybe for understanding or acceptance, and it caused me to refocus on his face, but not before seeing in that flash of remembrance I’d had a hand reach up and gently tuck hair behind my ear and caress my cheek.
I couldn’t help but shudder and try to focus on the present.
“I get it,” I said within millimeters of his face as I wiped a last tear from his cheek with a finger.
He took my hand afterwards. I thought he’d done that just to hold it, but he kissed it, saying softly afterwards, “Thank you.”
I felt his eyes piercing mine and his face rising slowly off the pillow until his lips met mine, and in that moment I...
Root CGD: Day 17 Captivity: 10:10 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
When I woke this morning, I wanted to be anywhere but where I found myself—in the same bed as Jessie. I felt more confused about who I was given all I’d done with him earlier, and those realizations made me feel incredibly uncomfortable in my own damn skin. I’d need to deal with him at some point I knew, but I needed to process what I’d not only allowed to happen between us but had been a willing participant in those acts.
What the hell had I been thinking?! I obviously wasn’t and the insanity of the decisions I’d made was laying a heavy layer of gloom over my mood at the moment. And there was that unexplainable memory of having done some of those things with another man—which was impossible to fathom since I knew none of that had ever happened. Those glimpses of fragmented remembrances had made the thing Jessie and I had done way to comfortable, normal, and acceptable in the moments we shared.
I could reason it began with his innocently kissing me after I’d been comforting him about his admission of being gay. Truthfully – that’s where it should have stopped, but it didn’t, though I had all the power to shut it down after that kiss. Yet, I’d kissed him back, which felt oddly natural and had encouraged things between us to progress. I let myself get swept up in desires that felt grounded in memories I didn’t know I even possessed. How was that even possible to be influence that way?!
I wasn’t sure how much time we spent exploring one another’s bodies earlier this morning, but I would bet it was at least an hour. When I woke, I found our bodies were entwined, and that began my panic to get away from him. I could feel the heavy wet blanket of guilt weighing on me for all those things we’d done together. Even thinking about it got my heart beating quickly, while all I’d been done was beating myself up about it and wishing I could rewind it all or take it all back.
I’d wasted no time sneaking out of bed as best I could, completely naked, to get myself into the shower and dressed for the day. I then spent the next hour trying to avoid speaking to or making eye contact with Jessie after he finally got out of bed. I’d been sitting on the porch and hoped he wouldn’t join me or want to discuss what happened last night, but that didn’t happen. I was sure the awkwardness I was already feeling was about to be compounded when I heard the front door open behind me.
“Water?” he asked after sitting next to me, glass extended toward me.
“No, thank you,” I replied, not able to look at him.
I felt his hand on mine as he began to speak, “I hope I, you know, didn’t cross a line. I never meant to, nor would I ever want to make you feel uncomfortable, Cameron.”
His voice was soft, soothing almost, and I could sense the truth in what he’d just said to me. He was leading this probe into my headspace with an assurance that my feelings mattered. I appreciated that more than he might know in this moment. It was early though, and I hoped to not pick up any hints of judgment or accusation or his speaking the obvious ‘label’ that could be applied to our exploits with each other. I would argue being told I was ‘gay’ if it came to that.
I’d been up for a couple hours and still hadn’t really come to an understanding of my desire to participate in what I remembered was a fairly intense exploration of each other’s body’s. What the hell had come over me?! Where had those memories come from and who was that man in them?!
“Look, you don’t have to say anything,” he said, squeezing my hand.
I could feel his stare but couldn’t look at him as a few choruses of ‘clickety-click’ noises rose from the artificial sky above us—just as they had last night when we were exploring one another’s bodies. Fuck! Had we screwed up our chance to get out of here tonight by now being something for these aliens to focus on, to watch, to ogle? What do I even say to him? What do I want to...
“Hey, how about we just agree I beat your last nerve into submission last night,” he said. I turned my head to face him; he was smiling and said softly, “Good morning.”
I turned away to look back across at Ali and Mike’s front door.
“I’m really sorry, Jessie...”
“I’m not,” he answered quickly. “That was the first time since I’ve gotten here I felt like myself, normal even. Do you have any idea how…,” he stopped speaking as I retrieved my hand and buried my face in both while shaking my head slightly. “Oh fuck, I’m sorry, Cameron. That was insensitive as shit,” he said, placing his hand on my shoulder.
“It’s alright, don’t worry about it,” I replied. “I just hope we didn’t screw up our chances for tonight.”
“I… I hadn’t even thought about that. Were they making that much noise? I didn’t even notice. I mean, you become kind of numb to it and... Do you think we should tell Mike?”
I sat up slowly, focusing on the hem of my coverall dress, my knees together, and said while looking at Ali’s door, “No. We’re going to look as uninterested in each other as we can until we play our part tonight on the side of the house. There’s a chance it wasn’t as much a show for them as we think, so that’s what we’re going to do, understand?”
I distinctly remember hearing the chorus of clicking going on earlier, but somewhere during our exploring of each other I tuned it all out.
“Sure,” he agreed after a few seconds of thought.
I slowly turned to look at him; his smile was gone, and so was that excitement about feeling normal for the first time since being brought to this zoo. I’d crushed that spark in his eyes with my comment about possible consequences from our actions together and sounding as though I regretted all that we’d done.
“You should probably go,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry, Jessie.”
“Yeah, I get it. Stick to the plan,” he said, sounding dejected, rose, and headed back into the house.
Root CGD: Day 17 captivity, 12:47 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
During our lunch meeting the eight of us went over the plan for later tonight. It wasn’t lost on me that the men were just now including the other women in this gathering because without their buy-in this plan was going nowhere. Everyone needed to be fully aware of the plan and involved, or Jessie and my chances would be slim to nonexistent getting through the stores port.
It was reiterated that just before midnight, Jessie and I would be posted outside our house as we’d been doing the past couple nights. Our task was to not look interesting doing the ‘coupled’ things we’d been doing while waiting to observe the stores port opening and closing routine. While we stood ready to escape, the other three couples would be putting on a show to keep our hosts and whoever else was watching us full attention.
“Seriously, we need their focus on the six of us to give Jessie and Cameron the best chance of getting through with little to no detection. You all know what that means,” Mike had said, looking at everyone individually except Jessie and me.
“Might mean we’re all a bit more vocal and creative tonight,” Liam had said seriously and with a straight face to the group.
Interestingly or not, no one was smiling or found any of the comments made thus far to be humorous by the de facto leaders of this group. Of course the only thoughts rolling through my mind involved Garrett being with Zenia doing ‘coupling’ things for as long as the wait to get into the stores port might require. The change in my demeanor after hearing what Liam said caught Mike’s attention, possibly others also, and he was quick to call me out on it.
“You look concerned, Cameron,” Mike stated.
I did my best to recover quickly at being put on the spot and had replied, “Yeah, I... I’m just a little concerned that the normal stores port opening had been midnight for how long, months, right? That it’s been delayed to after 1 AM with Jessie and I out there, well, it’s a little concerning.”
That comeback to his inquiry bled into a number of quick conversations and assurances by everyone that they’d do their best to keep the distractions going for as long as needed. Augh! I really didn’t need to hear that!
I was sure no one here was uptight about what needed to be done, but the bottom line was everyone would be having sex and needed to do that on a monumental scale to keep our host’s distracted while Jessie and I were making a break for it. I wasn’t happy about the distraction aspect of this plan to escape, and it took great effort to show it wasn’t bothering me after Mike had picked up on my demeanor a few moments ago.
“Alright then… Speak to whichever deity levitates your consciousness and ask them for a break tonight. We’ll need it and a hefty dose of luck. We’re on at 11:45 tonight with a staggered start of every five minutes. Ali and I will start, followed by Liam and Cayline, then Garrett and Zenia. Any questions?” Mike asked, and when no one said anything, he finished up the meeting by dismissing us.
I wasted no time turning for the door of his and Ali’s house as people began having conversations amongst themselves. I’d just walked through the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder but didn’t stop walking or turn to see who it was.
“Cameron… Wait, what’s the rush?” Ali asked when I hadn’t stopped.
“Not now, Ali...”
“Ah, yeah, you know that’s not goanna flying with me. What’s wrong?” she asked, not giving up the quick-walk chase she was in to keep up with me.
“Nothing,” I replied and entered my house, heading for the bathroom, entering it, closing the door behind me, and sitting on the floor with my back to it. I’d have locked it had there been such a thing on one of the only two doors in this house!
A light tap on the door was followed by a slight push on it, but the push stopped when it was obvious I was holding it shut.
“Not leaving until you talk to me, so might as well let me in or come on out,” she said quietly.
I waited a full minute before rising, opening the door, and speaking to her like a bratty child, “What?”
A raised brow and extended hand were her initial replies. When I didn’t immediately take her hand, she said, “Let’s go Missy, out with it.”
I just stared at her, unmoving.
“Fine,” she said, entering the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. “What’s eating you, Jessie? You worried about tonight? Garrett?”
I sank back to the floor after she hopped up on the sink to sit. She’d said Garrett’s name differently, softer, less accusatory, or judgingly. She already knew my problem with tonight was Garrett, though I didn’t really understand it fully myself or why it bothered me as much as it did. Fuck! What is wrong with me?!
“All of those things,” I finally whispered.
“Okay, let’s start in order. Jessie… What’s his problem?”
I needed to talk to someone, but I was afraid I couldn’t get the help I wanted without sharing more than I wanted or felt comfortable sharing.
“What, he forced himself on you? He kissed you? You saw him naked? Geesh, come on, Cameron, what’s up with you two?”
“Yes…”
“Alright, he forced himself on you?” she asked a bit shocked.
“No, we… Well, he kissed me, and there was...," I stopped speaking because her eyes got wider, and I thought she was going to say something, but she nodded quickly for me to continue. “It shouldn’t have happened... We just… Like, kind of explored... I’m not even sure why.”
“I told you we think they’re giving everyone in here something to keep the arousal factor high, right?”
“I know, but I’m not... I’m not a woman, and,” I didn’t know what else to say. She’d heard nearly everything I thought about what was happening to me a few times already and how it made me feel. In truth I had nothing new to add to my list of complaints on the matter.
“How’d any of last night make you feel with him?” she asked.
“Ali! I’m not a…”
She interrupted me with some force, “Fuck, Cameron! I know, do you think I wasn’t listening just now or the twenty times you’ve said that before? Just answer my question.”
I hadn’t stopped to analyze my feelings about last night in the way I thought she was asking. How did it make me feel? Amazing, different than I’d ever felt while being intimate with someone, exciting, euphoric, fucking high... And those memories I’d had certainly spurred on my enthusiasm and want. Why? How could they have when I hadn’t lived or dreamt any of that stuff ever!?
“I hear grinding noises coming from between those ears,” she said, smiling.
“Alright,” I paused, feeling like I’d been put on the spot. “I felt different, connected to something bigger within me that I can’t even begin to describe. It was warming, silky, and I... It came on slowly, and I felt removed, peaceful but sparked with an excited unstable energy to my core that could... I don’t know, Ali! I can’t explain it any better than that or why exactly I felt those things.”
“Whoa… And wow,” she replied softly, staring at me but smiling as though she was impressed.
“That’s it?” I complained.
“No, but… Wait, how? No, no, I mean, did he, you know, like finish?” she asked sheepishly.
“Ali!”
“No! I’m not asking ‘that’ specifically... Okay, I am, but there are only limited ways that could happen, and I’m trying to understand how your orgasms fit in here.”
“Orgasms,” I whispered, confused and probably sounding like I was asking her a question.
“That or a big ass-climax, girl,” she said, smiling.
::: --- :::
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Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: Day 17 captivity, 12:54 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
“No… That’s not what happened,” I squeaked, feeling flush, warm, and embarrassed that she was claiming what I’d felt while with Jessie had been an orgasm or even some sort of climax. That’s not how it works!
“Yeah, pretty sure that’s what happened, Cameron, and honestly good for you. Might as well get something good out of this fucked up place if...”
“No!” I barked at her in midsentence, thinking I could put a different spin on her understanding of what I’d experienced. “We weren’t doing... No, not like, I mean...," I couldn’t finish my thought because I was remembering those feelings of the purest excitement I’d ever experienced just thinking about being with Jessie.
Like when his mouth engulfed one of my puffy nipples while his hands were squeezing my breasts and he made all those slurping noises. How just before that we’d been locked in a long, passionately desperate kiss I had no idea why I was even participating in—but could feel as though it had happened before and I was trying to recapture that moment. At one point during that kiss, I thought I’d surely choke on his tongue as it swirled and explored lustfully in my mouth. None of that had been a one-sided affair, and I took greedily and gave during those slower moments his hands were all over my body, caressing skin that tingled and felt electrically charged.
I had gotten completely lost in the excitement I was feeling, the way it had overwhelmed my senses over and over. Then, there was that comforting warmth blanketing my entire body, building, and demanding something bigger within me to awaken. When I thought I could finally surrender to it, I was awash in a paradise I’d never felt before and unable to contain my delirium or enthusiasm to chase those sensations!
FUCK ME!
I notice Ali’s head tilting slightly; she was staring at me questioningly, and there was a hint of a smile on her lips.
“You’re feeling it now, aren’t you? How you felt last night?”
“No… I’m, I was... Is it that obvious?” I asked, burying my face in my hands, mortified she could tell I’d left the present to slip so easily and happily into remembering those exhilarating moments.
I pulled my knees to my chest and tried to slow my breathing and clear my mind from remembering how his hands repeatedly squeezed my ass when he pulled me on top of him and how they gently caressed my ass cheeks afterwards. How his finger moved sensually over that opening between my...
A little chuckle interrupted that thought, and Ali began speaking, “Look, Zenia told me the hormones we’re getting if given to a man would almost certainly rewire their brain on some level. She wasn’t sure how the ‘arousal’ drugs we women are getting would mess with you, but her best guess is it would be similar to what we experience during sex.
“Trust me on this, you’re gonna waaant it, all of it, and bad at times when you’re in the throes of getting it. You’ll chase it because, well damn it, it feels fucking amazing! I’ll keep going sometimes with Mike after he’s finished and waning because I’m close and needing my own release. I’m not shy about getting what I need, and truthfully, I think he likes knowing he’s spun me up to coveting my own release—even though I’m doing all the work to get there,” she finished saying with a little chuckle.
My hands felt warm against my legs, just like when I had been holding Jessie’s balls in one hand and I’d sensually tugged with the other on his fully erect...
No! I extended my legs and rubbed my hands over my dress lying on them to smooth the fabric. Breathe! Get your mind off of sex and concentrate on something, anything else!
What was the Barrow Gar’s last known Ark Loc? The Marris Wormhole, just past Y2CAL.21.E, no sector 21.F. Fuck! Think damn it! Cargo, the bay had a payload of three hundred containers of distilled Linaria sipping whiskey. We were slated to make a bonus for having detoured and offloading Cyrain wheat starts on the Verus outpost. We needed to...
“You alright? You look really, really uncomfortable,” Ali said, breaking my train of thought.
Why was I sensing Jessie kissing his way down my stomach right now, wrapping his warm lips around my limp... NO! Fuck! No more of this shit!
I stood and looked at Ali, determined to end this conversation. “None of that should have happened.”
“Okay, but don’t you think you should accept what you two did for what it was?”
“I can’t… This isn’t who I am, Ali!” I complained, spreading my arms to accentuate the point.
“Not who you are? Please don’t tell me how you’re not a woman again.”
“I’m not though!” For a fraction of a second I’d thought to add that Jessie was gay and it wouldn’t matter if I were a woman or not, but held my tongue.
“Right now you’re more woman than man. I’m not sure I understand why you’re fighting it and not just trying to soak up the experience. You can’t change the situation you’re in right now, and you’ve certainly made it clear you’re going to get all this reversed when we’re out of here. Do you really want to have had this chance to see what it’s like for us girls, to experience a little of what’s possible while you can? If you’re not experiencing this, you’re pissing away an opportunity I think you’ll regret later on.”
I wanted to reply again that I wasn’t a woman, but knew she’d jump down my throat. Hadn’t I experienced enough discomfort already in this new existence of mine, this ‘opportunity’ to be a woman? I shook my head absently as memories from earlier this morning blended with those memories I had that were telling me I’d experienced all those things and more before, somehow, with some other man.
“Garrett?” she asked softly.
“No,” I replied with less conviction than I had meant to after being snapped back to the present.
“Would you regret last night if you’d explored all those things with him last night?”
“No… I mean yes! I’m not,” and Ali tilted her head in annoyance to preempt the complaint I was going to levy about not being a woman. “Yeah, well, I’m not one, so whatever...”
“Think I’d accept your first answer as the truth and what’s really bothering you about having had a little much-needed fun and what sounds like a meaningful release last night.”
“Whatever,” I began slowly, “There was something off though, like I’d experienced some of this before.”
“Really, like with Garrett?” She asked surprised, maybe even sounding a little confused.
“No, not him... I can’t explain it, but I can assure you I’ve never been with a man before or even considered it. Yet I was sensing I’d done some of that stuff Jessie and I did together before.”
“Okay, so what are you saying?”
“I honestly don’t know, but those memories weren’t real and never happened, so... I’m really confused as to why I’d have them or think I’d done anything like that with someone else.”
“Could they have been projected somehow? Like, you were getting into character, embracing the woman in you?”
“Huh? In character? I don’t even know who I am right now in my own damn body, Ali! No clue as to what’s really going on inside of me... Those things I felt and saw in my mind were awful damn vivid, as real feeling as the actual acts Jessie and I were engaged in. I can’t explain how those memories exist…”
Root CGD: Day 18 captivity, 12:41 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
When the store's port opened, I pushed Jessie aside and sprinted towards it, climbing into the port behind our crate of garbage and thankfully into an empty room. Jessie had been thrown off by my rushing to get to the port and ended up having to wait for the food crate our hosts were delivering before he could dive onto the tracks, avoiding the same closure mechanism beam as I had, and he made it inside just before the door slammed shut. We both waited a few seconds to see if anything was going to happen, like an alarm was going to sound or our hosts were going to rush through the door, which appeared to be exactly where Jessie had said it was, near the red light illuminating the room.
I walked to the door, felt around a panel on the wall next to it, and was able to slide it open with a bit of effort while Jessie was looking around the rest of the room. When he joined me, I stepped aside so he could get a look inside the panel.
“You find anything?” I asked.
“Nothing… I don’t even think they’re monitoring this room,” he said, sounding a little surprised.
“Good, let’s keep moving; do you think you can short those wires and get the door open?” I whispered.
That was a stupid question. He knew his role in this exploratory escape attempt. Augh!
“Slow down,” he said, studying the mass of circuitry and optical wires that glowed softly in multiple colors and a steady pulse. “You know, you about knocked me over out there. Are you alright?”
“Yeah, just nervous, and they were late again.”
That was a lie, not the ‘late’ part or having a bit of nervous energy. My issue was that I wanted out of the Exhibit Housing enclosure because the overzealous chorus of ‘clicking’ going on above us meant the crowd was enjoying the show the other six captives were putting on as a diversion for us, and it had seriously grating on my last nerve. I heard exaggerated screams of ecstasy multiple times from each of the other couples in the exhibit, along with fake ass moans of pleasure that were over the top and just plain sickening to listen to too. I’m positive I heard Garrett call out ‘Zen...’ somewhere during all of that noise being made by the couples in a lull of the excited clicks being made by those enamored aliens watching their zoo animals having sex.
Fuck you all and fuck this place!
“Cameron?”
“What?!” I snapped.
“Breathe would you,” he said softly as he moved some of the wires in the control panel around while he tried to figure out getting the door open. “In the garbage, on the top, you’ll see some strips of metal.”
“Right,” I said, turning to go get those, annoyed he had to tell me to relax and to stay focused basically.
He made it sound like I had no clue as to the tools we’d constructed to assist in getting out of here, and that added to my annoyance with this whole plan to escape and being here with him. You wanted the damn tools, knew you’d need them at some point—why didn’t you grab them yourself before coming over to the panel? Asshole…
When I returned and handed him the three strips of metal, he looked them over, choosing the more pointed one, and touched something inside the panel. Nothing happened.
“Well?”
“Well what, Cameron? This could take some time to figure out shorting the circuit or finding the right wire. I’m guessing this panel controls everything in this room, so... Yeah, go look around and see if you can find anything we can use after we get out of here,” he replied, sounding mildly annoyed.
“Fine,” I whispered and turned away.
“Are you pissed at me or something?”
“No…”
“Look, the others had to put on a show for...,” he started to say, but I shut him down.
“I don’t care. Let’s just get the fuck out of here, okay?” I huffed.
There was definitely an awkward silence between after I’d said that, and it stretched longer than I was comfortable with.
“I’m not sorry about last night... I’ve wanted to be with you since you arrived, and when the guys thought we’d be the best team for this, I couldn’t wait. I was the one that came up with the idea for us to be coupled, and I’m not sorry I did or about anything we did last night.”
“You told me all this earlier, Jessie... Can we just focus on getting...,” and it was his turn to interrupt.
“You matter to me, Cam, and I’d want to be with... Well, with you after we got out of here if that’s of any interest to you.”
NO! We get out of here all this crap gets flushed out a docking port and into dead fucking space! I then forget any of this shit even happened to me by drinking myself blind for a CGD week straight!
“Just focus on,” I began saying, but he began shushing me.
“Ssshh… You hearing that?” he asked, concerned.
I slowly turned to look at him from across the small room, straining to hear anything but the dull humming from some piece of equipment in the room. I shrugged at him and said that I didn’t hear anything unusual.
“Fuck, I think we’ve got company,” he said softly, stepping away from the door, and then froze in place as it slid open.
I hadn’t heard the noise he’d mentioned until the door opened, and standing there was a lone alien being studying us like none I’d ever seen or encountered in my travels. The sound it was making was like teeth grinding—angry teeth grinding if there was such a sound. I’d much rather listen to it clicking like its buddies than the sound it was making right now.
Neither Jessie nor I moved, and thankfully neither had the alien yet.
Its head was easily a third of its total body mass, and its fist-sized black eyes appeared dead and unmoving. At just over a meter and a half in height and having four gangly arms with eight or nine finger-like structures on each, it was difficult to assess just how much of a threat it was to us. Both Jessie and I were twenty-five centimeters taller than it was, but there was no way I wanted to rush the thing and try to subdue it. It wasn’t holding any type of weapon or...
“Let’s not...”
Jessie didn’t get to finish his warning to me before the being's upper left arm extended forward in a blur to wrap those long, multi-jointed finger-like structures around his neck. In an instant, it was picking him up off his feet and proceeded to shake him violently twice before dropping him to the floor. The sound of Jessie struggling to breathe or cry out never happened due to the speed at which the attack had happened. The act was so intensely violent and happened so quickly I hadn’t even been able to scream his name fully before he was lying on the floor in a crumpled mass, not moving, and staring blankly towards me.
I cried out as I took a panicked step toward his lifeless body, but it felt like a quick jolt had hit me and like my stomach was being pulled from my body as my heart was breaking. There was pain, and my mind was telling me something wasn’t right. The pain became excruciating, radiating from my gut, and when I looked from Jessie to my stomach, I could see one of the alien’s arms had buried its fingers into my lower abdomen by several centimeters.
My hands were on its extended arm in a struggled reflex response to free my body. My mind finally kicked in, and I screamed wildly in agony!
I pulled on its arm to try and dislodge it from my gut just as its limb retracted back to its body three meters from where I stood. I hadn’t seen the arm coming at me, but I certainly felt the effect of being impaled by it. With its fingers no longer in my gut, I fell forward as if I were moving towards its retracted arm, no longer holding my body in place or upright any longer.
I crashed to my knees while both my hands were patting, pressing blindly at the gaping hole in my abdomen, trying to stem the flow of blood and feces pouring from the wound. I was losing the battle; I couldn’t stop the loss of blood or my innards from slipping between my fingers onto the floor. The smell was sickening, my stomach roiled, and I puked a mouthful of my stomach's contents onto the floor, which was covered in those other bodily fluids.
Disbelief changed to panic as I began feeling faint, and fear was shutting down my ability to function, to think, to...
My body shuddered calmly; had it just let me know I was done for? Barely ten seconds had passed before I sensed the floor twisting strangely in front of me, but that was actually my body falling, my head banging on the floor, sparking a fraction of a second of clarity that faded quickly as I groaned loudly in pain. Tears were flowing, and...
I was no more than a meter from where Jessie lay motionless. My view of him began to dwindle; the pain I was in was less now for some reason, and I felt numbness as the sound of angry teeth grinding droned on and on.
Darkness was welcoming me, my life fading. I regretted not telling Garrett that I...
Root CGD: Earth Day 1 in captivity - reset
CinT Ark Loc: Holding pen
When I attempted to open my eyes, I had to resort to squinting, covering them with a hand, and finally with my forearm because it was more comfortable. The lighting was so bright it made my eyes hurt, and after an hour of trying to get used to the light, I not only had a headache but was a little surprised to find that I was right back where my journey had begun. It looked like I was back in my original holding pen, and unfortunately that meant I was likely still a specimen in some alien species zoo—not dead as I assumed I would have been after being impaled by that alien’s fingers while trying to escape the Exhibit Housing.
Remembering the escape attempt had me seeing Jessie’s violent death all over again, and the last thing I remember seeing was his lifeless body, almost close enough I could reach out and touch him as I bled out on the stores port floor. I couldn’t help but begin sobbing, and try as I might, I couldn’t get ahead of my emotions, blubbering uncontrollably. Feeling sorry for myself only exacerbated the gloom and the guilt I was feeling for still being alive and having failed Jessie and the others. I buried my face in my pillow because if the wall between the pens was one way transparent at the moment, I didn’t want another specimen watching me try to navigate this low point I was wallowing in.
Eventually I had no more tears to give and decided to sit up. Trying to do that made me feel lightheaded, and I quickly lay back down, tried to raise my legs, but couldn’t lift them off the bed more than a few centimeters. Why I thought I could just hop up and my body would react or function as it had prior to what happened in the stores port was wishful thinking. I was surprised to be here and to be alive still.
Of course there were additional surprises, namely significant differences in my body that immediately caught my attention when I stopped wallowing.
When I’d buried my face in my pillow, I figured out the most obvious change since I’d last been conscious. That change was—my breasts were significantly larger. A quick inspection found those puffy nipples I had were gone, and so were the hand-filling little mounds. My smaller breasts had been replaced by much larger mounds on my chest—breasts that spilled from my hands when I tried to cup them. I searched for scars to determine if this size increase was some type of implant, but the absence of scarring likely meant they were the result of continuing to get pumped with female hormones while being held captive.
Ali had warned me this would eventually happen—I'd fill out—and grow into those puffy nipples. Not what I was hoping for!
I noticed right away that their increased mass also meant increased sensitivity as I held them, moved them, and traced the areola of one of them. I was marveling at how perfect they looked and the sensation something as simple as touching them delivered. It would be a lie to say I wasn’t relieved to finally have nipples more like I’d seen on the women I’d had relations with before being dumped in this place. I wasn’t going to miss that adolescent stage of womanhood and having those odd puffy nipples.
The second body change was discovered when I’d felt my abdomen for the scar that should be prominent due to having been impaled by that alien's finger tips somewhere below my belly-button. When I didn’t find the obvious scar that should be there, I felt lower towards my pelvis and found there was something missing. That discovery had me bolting upright and...
Root CGD: Earth Day 1 in captivity - reset
CinT Ark Loc: Holding pen
I’d woken from passing out only to find I’d fallen out of bed and onto the floor, had a small knot on the side of my forehead, and needed to pee like no one's business. Try as I might, I couldn’t get to my feet and had to crawl to the toilet. I was able to pull myself up with great effort, and given I had a vagina now rather than a penis, I sat to take that first urgent piss. Having to sit felt a little different to me given all the years I’d spent standing, holding myself, and pissing without giving that bodily function much thought.
Thankfully, there was no learning curve to get over. I was happy the flow of urine started as easily as it had when I was equipped with different plumbing down there. As I sat there listening to the stream dribble below me, I got a chuckle out of the idea I could have sat on this thing either way. That giggle had me wondering if I might be concussed because that was a stupid thing to be pondering given I no longer had my male parts!
I ended up spending a long time sitting on the toilet after I’d finished peeing. Not because I needed to go more, but because none of the muscles in my legs wanted to work very well, though I tried plenty of times to stretch and move them as I sat there. I might have spent some of that time trying to figure out how this genitalia swap was even possible, pulling my dress up to get a better look at it and noticing barely any evidence of scarring or skin discoloration.
I wasn’t panicked yet; I knew getting back to my original self was still possible. Of course that would require a DNA sample pre-hormone application. That had me wondering if Cheryl had done that for me, grabbing a DNA sample before medi-jecting me with that first dose. It was something I could worry about another day since I’d need to get out of here first to be able to reclaim my previous life.
Eventually sitting on the toilet seemed pointless, but since I couldn’t stand, I dropped to the floor onto my knees, which hurt like hell, and crawled back to bed. At least when I got onto the bed, which was a bit of a struggle, I could sit without feeling like I’d pass out again. Sitting with my legs out in front of me, I noticed there were tiny marks all over them.
On closer inspection, I also had those same marks on my arms. The marks I figured were, since every muscle in my body ached, from being hooked up to probes meant to regenerate atrophic muscles. That had me wondering how long I’d been out of commission or in some form of stasis. Was I out of it because of the recovery I had to get through due to the new genitalia? Was it because of the damage done from the impalement from the stores port incident—on top of getting new genitalia?
How screwed up was my current existence right at this moment?
Root CGD: Earth Day 1 in captivity - reset
CinT Ark Loc: Holding pen
I knew the drill as the lights began to dim, and I knew our hosts wanted me to eat the food I heard them just deliver to the shelf. The idea of eating cold beige paste wasn’t appealing, and I had to admit I was hungry, but the problem was I couldn’t walk over to the shelf, let alone stand upright, to even begin that task. I figured I might be able to get the bed pushed over to the wall the bowls of food and water were sitting on, but doubted I could reach them even from the bed—unless I could get on my knees and really stretch for them.
I could survive a day without eating given how my ass and thighs seemed way too soft and fleshy, with an obvious gentle sway every time I moved. Yeah, I’d gotten fatter in areas I wasn’t expecting and was feeling a little self-conscious about it.
I’d just rolled over to get more comfortable after making the decision to forego eating when the lights flashed. Experience told me that meant the wall might go transparent, and I got myself to a sitting position facing the wall. That took more effort than I’d expected, and having a significantly weightier chest now made me feel like my breathing was strained after I was sitting. Breathe in, chest moves; breathe out, chest moves. Would I be constantly reminded of the weight of my breasts with every movement I made? Augh! That’s going to be annoying!
A few minutes went by as I waited patiently for the wall to change, and when nothing happened, I figured they were pushing me to get my gruel and eat. Guess they were oblivious to the fact I couldn’t walk and should have kept me hooked up to those muscle stimuli probes a bit longer! No sooner had I laid back down, the lights flashed again. Instead of sitting, I simply rolled over, propped myself up on an elbow, and stared at the wall between the pens.
“Any time now,” I said out loud and to no one in particular. “I know the routine and know what you’re going to do with the wall, so just get on with it! I’m not eating tonight, so just show me who’s on the other side of the wall.
Another five minutes went by, and I was done with this game. I closed my eyes while yawning, and when I opened them, I fully intended on rolling over and going to sleep, but noticed the wall between the holding pens was gone. I was in shock at what I was seeing!
My heart soared as a figure rushed towards me, his face familiar, his locks of red hair longer than I’d remembered, and that smile...
“Cameron!”
I was sobbing before I could fully process that Garrett was holding me and squeezing me so tight I felt like I would burst. He was talking so fast I couldn’t grasp anything he’d said through the tears streaming down my face, the hugs we shared, and eventually a kiss, which was short, but as I looked into his eyes I could see he too had tears in his eyes.
I had an undeniable urge to kiss him again as a memory of peacefulness and calm came over me that reminded me of having done that before, only it wasn’t with Jessie it was with another...
Root CGD: Earth Day 1 in captivity - reset
CinT Ark Loc: Holding pen
“We thought you’d... Well, we didn’t think you’d made it out.”
“I watched them kill Jessie,” I croaked, the lump in my throat threatening to choke me out not only from seeing Garrett but also from telling him about Jessie.
A second later, I broke down yet again, thinking about the brutal death Jessie had endured, how I couldn’t have done anything to save him, and how my last conversation with him had been an angry one. I had plenty of guilt to deal with yet, but having Garrett holding me, reassuring me all would be fine—it really did give me hope. When I finally got my sobs to cease and tongue to engage, I asked him about the others.
He was slow to answer; the concern on his face breaking my heart before he said a single word. Please don’t let Ali...
“Cayline and Ali,” he began, but by his tone, I knew what was to follow wasn’t something I wanted to hear. “Both were pregnant shortly after the escape attempt, and, well, they didn’t make it. I’m so sorry, Cameron.”
Hearing my fear vocalized had me howling in grief again. Each time I thought I had regained my composure, I’d see Ali’s face in my mind, her smile, remembering her fear about having her baby taken from her if she made it through childbirth, her hoping she’d die as a result of being pregnant so that wouldn’t happen—it was too much to bear. All those remembrances threw me right back into the thick of grieving and harder than I’d expected.
How was I going to navigate this enhanced version of myself without her?!
When I calmed down enough for Garrett to continue telling me about the others, I learned Mike had given up after Ali had passed and was removed from the exhibit Housing. He’d been replaced with a guy who refused to play along with the host’s expectations, and he too was removed quickly after being coupled with Ali’s replacement, a woman named Syn. Then replacement, Turpin, was added and coupled with Syn—they played along, but like everyone else wanted out of there.
Jessie and I had been replaced by Beck and Cekoo; together they’d miscarried once and were pregnant again and closing in on their first trimester.
“Wait, how long have I been gone?” I asked, surprised by all the changes he’d told me of thus far.
“At least a CGD year, maybe closer to a year and a half,” he replied.
“Really, are you sure?”
That was a stupid question, but I was shocked I’d been away for so long after having been nearly gutted and then getting a full genitalia swap.
He was smiling at me, “I’m sure Cameron...”
We lay there silently holding each other for a few minutes, and I knew there were two others he hadn’t accounted for from my time in the Exhibit Housing. Was he purposely not mentioning them because one had been my replacement for him?
“Liam?” I asked, but really wanted to know what had happened to Zenia and him.
“He’s still there; he’s... Well, he’s with Zen now. That happened when I got sick a CGD month ago, and they pulled me out of there.”
“What? Are you alright? What happened?” I asked worried and looked up at him, pulling his face towards mine so I could see his face in the muted darkness of the holding pen.
"Yeah, I think it was just a kidney stone, but it was pretty bad. Zenia had me drinking the water like crazy, but I couldn’t move, and the pain, well, I pretty much gave up. The hosts pulled me out of there, and I don’t know what they did to me, but I was back in the Exhibit Housing in five CGD days. By that time Zen had moved in with Liam because I wasn’t expected back, and I met my new partner, Marlene, in here.”
His voice had trailed off, so I knew the rest of that story wasn’t a good one, but I asked if he was okay.
“Yeah, Marlene didn’t deserve any of this. Not that any of us do; I don’t know; sometimes it just really gets to me,” he said softly.
“Do you think their coupling us again was planned?”
“Possibly…”
He’d said that like he was in the know, suspected, or was clued into something I wasn’t.
“Why’d you say ‘possibly’ like that?”
Garrett was slow to answer, “I’ve been watching you for a couple days now... I saw what they’ve done to you. You’re going to be a first for this place, and I think they may have liked the idea of reintroducing you to the Exhibit Housing with someone you’ve been with in the past and are familiar with. Do I think they planned all this? Some of it certainly, and it maybe explains what they were doing with you the first time you were inserted into this place. Then again, maybe we were just lucky, and it was just a matter of timing.”
Garrett knowing about the biggest chance to my body since I was last in the Exhibit Housing made me feel a little embarrassed. It also made me unsure of where I stood with him. Not that I had a place with him, though I was grateful he was here with me now.
“I’m, well… Does any of these changes give you pause, you know about being coupled with me?” I asked sheepishly.
“Should it?”
“A question with a question, that’s not fair,” I complained, nudging him gently.
“Ali told me... She said you might have had feelings for me, and, well, before you went away, I can admit I liked you too.”
“And now, even if I wasn’t born this way?”
“None of that matters to me, Cameron... You know the expectations in the Exhibit Housing. I’m worried about what you think about that now and how none of this was something you’d asked for. If you’ll have me, I’d be happy with that.”
I hugged him a little tighter and hoped he knew the answer to whether I was okay with the idea of us being coupled. My hand found his, and after resting mine on it, he decided we should hold hands. I knew what our hosts expected of us and there would be only one way to navigate being with him at some point given I was more woman now than my first go around in the Exhibit Housing.
The idea of being with him fully wasn’t as repulsive as it had been the first time around. A memory of holding a man’s hand flashed past my subconscious awareness... I looked at our hands, following up his arm to get a look at his face, and the memory was gone, faded to black.
“You good?” he asked.
“I think so…”
I wasn’t sure though and these flashback memories only added to the confusion about all of this second chance I had in the Exhibit House. Could I function as a woman now? Why wasn’t I as angry about that as before? Was it because I was with Garrett? Augh…
Root CGD: Earth Day 2 in captivity - reset
CinT Ark Loc: Holding pen
We’d been allowed to spend last night together and all of the day so far. When food arrived, we went to get the bowls from the two pens shelves together for fear that if we weren’t together, they’d close off the wall between the pens. That mode of operation was a bit of paranoia I’d injected into our current ‘togetherness’. I knew we’d eventually end up ‘coupled’ when we made it back to the Exhibit Housing, but I wasn’t up to being left alone yet and was grateful to Garrett for putting up with what could only be classified as my being overly clingy.
That I really wasn’t feeling myself in the least since coming to this time around and wasn’t helping my mood or confidence. I had a lot of conflicting emotions swirling around in my head, given he’d said a CGD year or more had passed since I was last in the Exhibit Housing. I had zero recollection of anything since the failed stores port escape attempt, and my body had been through major changes; I wasn’t even sure to what extent yet.
If that wasn’t enough to make me doubt my sanity, these ‘flashbacks’ I was having, these feelings of connection, or dare I say feelings of ‘love’ I felt for some man in those memories, was very confusing.
Of course, what wasn’t a surprise was finding I really liked being here with Garrett. He was patient with me while getting me used to standing and learning to take steps again and had even pushed me to work on rising from a seated position to standing on my own. Most times I couldn’t stand longer than a few seconds before needing to sit, but not once was he judgmental of some complaint I made about not being able to walk or stand.
He listened to me, seemed to speak freely on a variety of subjects, either zoo-centric or from his life outside of this place, and he never seemed to be guarded or come of sounding aloof. What I appreciated most was that he kept me laughing, mostly about stupid things, and that really helped keep my mind off of the portions of our existence right now that made me sad, depressed, and emotional. If I never cried again, it couldn’t happen soon enough!
The most comforting part of Garrett being here with me was that it didn’t seem to matter to him that I’d started life as a male. We talked about that a few times. I told him I wasn’t sure I would have the same capacity to look past that if the roles had been reversed.
“You haven’t seen yourself... You’re, well you’re pretty,” he’d told me.
“So all I am is a pretty face?” I complained.
“Yeah, kind of, though with a damn nice set of legs...,” he kidded me with that boyish goofy chuckle of his.
“Oh, I see how it is!” I playfully threw back at him.
Eh, maybe Ali was right? She told me if I didn’t explore this chance I’d been given, I’d be pissing away the opportunity to experience life from a different perspective if I didn’t. Everything about my life has been confusing since arriving here; why not make it even more so by exploring my attraction to Garrett? I did feel like I was attracted to...
“You’ve been awful quiet the past couple minutes; everything okay?”
We’d finished our evening beige paste a while ago and had been lying together in my bed snuggling one another, and he was right, I’d been quiet because I didn’t want us being together to end. I was sure at any moment the lights would flash and he’d be the compliant zoo specimen these aliens wanted and head back to his holding pen. Then the wall between us would reappear, what we’d eaten would knock us out, and somehow we’d end up back in the Exhibit Housing waking to the warning to not move or we’d puke up the gruel we’d eaten to get us drugged for reinsertion.
I didn’t want any of that, but the lighting in our conjoined pens was at about full on nighttime levels, so it had to be coming, them wanting to separate us.
“Sorry… Just wondering why they haven’t tried to split us up before the insertion back into the Exhibit Housing,” I whispered softly as if our hosts could understand us and suddenly realize they should maybe act on that idea.
“That’s a good question; I’ve been wondering that too. I really hadn’t expected they’d let us spend last night together. We’ll likely get the lights flashing any time now. Dinner should have made us sleepy, I would have thought, but I don’t feel anything. How about you, are you sleepy?”
He told me earlier he’d wondered that a few times, and we’d both tried to come up with possible reasons they allowed our sleepover last night. His excuses tended to be more humorous and had me giggling, which was embarrassing until I realized he was saying those things to keep me from being stressed about us eventually being split up eventually. When I teased him about the comedic answers, he said he just liked hearing me laugh, and there was enough serious crap we were dealing with already, so laughing with me made him feel good.
“No, I’m not feeling sleepy,” I whispered, hugging him a little tighter.
“I wouldn’t mind spending the night again,” was his reply while hugging me back.
Garrett had a leg draped over my waist, and I decided in that moment it needed to go if I was, well, if I was going to take advantage of this time alone with him. I’d been thinking about moving this ‘coupling’ idea to being more ‘real’ since last night. Of course, a lot of those thoughts I had about being fully with him had been sparked by random memories I had about being physically with a man in this new configuration of mine.
I had no idea their origin, but I had convinced myself that I wanted to experience them for real and with Garrett.
I slowly pushed his hip away, and his leg freed me to be able to move. Having pushed him got me a question about whether I needed to get up and if I needed to use the toilet. I didn’t reply, instead I wrangled my body so I was straddling his after hiking my dress up a little so I could get my legs spread enough to do that. I placed my hands on his chest, looked down at his questioning face, and bent to lower my face to within millimeters of his.
“Thank you for today and being there for me,” I said, kissing him lightly and pulling away after a few seconds. It was the second time we’d kissed, but this time it felt different.
“I… I didn’t mean to imply... You know like I wanted to...,” he began saying, but I stopped his speech about expecting anything if we spent the night together again by kissing him again.
That kiss began tentatively at first, but his tongue's reaction to mine told me I didn’t need to be shy about what I’d started or wanted. His hands made their way to my hips for a moment, and then were wrapped tightly around me as we continued kissing. That was all the confirmation I needed, and I willingly let myself go as his tongue dance sensually in my mouth.
::: --- :::
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I'm still growing as a storyteller; I'm far from perfect, so any help is much appreciated and valued. Thanks for reading...
Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: Earth Day 3 in captivity - reset
CinT Ark Loc: Holding pen
Last night had progressed quickly and Garrett wasted no time coaxing the silk bag-like dress I’d been wearing off of me. I might have been a little slow to oblige, but eventually figured it was dark enough in the holding pen he wouldn’t see my fighting any embarrassment I had about being seen naked. The vulnerability I was battling in this new form of mine and the outright fear I had for what I decided I was going to allow to happen between us was pushing me to the breaking point.
I did want this and had absolutely convinced myself of that since being reunited with him. I wanted him, sex, and to experience everything I could. I wanted him to want me for who I was now – not before all these changes. Changes I was still battling with to understand fully, but I was willing to take a leap of faith with him.
I wanted Garrett to want me and not feel like he was being forced into anything because we were slated to be a couple by our hosts. It was all new territory, for the both of us, and I couldn’t help but feel anxious, nervous, and as if my brain was in some frenzied battle with every emotion swirling wildly through my body.
Memories of having been with a man completely had flooded my mind and served to reassure me that everything would be all right with what I was about to experience. I couldn’t place the setting—a ship maybe, possibly a dwelling of some type—or who this man in my remembrances was, as I never got to see his face. I could see Garrett’s though, and that too added a level of comfort and excitement to what was happening in the present.
With my dress removed I was straddling his waist completely naked. My heart wanted to explode from my chest, breathing shallow and slowly, every micro movement of my body reverberating through my breasts, delicious sensations begging my attention like a claxon gonging loudly, and his body warm between my thighs. My body was more female now and the unexpected confidence I felt because of that was oddly the result of sensing his wanting for me.
I was about to see what it was like on the other side of that sex coin after twenty-nine years of being a man. Thank you Ali! She was right I had reasoned – I’d hate myself for not taking full advantage of this opportunity on my terms.
In the end who was going to care? I had explored this role with Jessie before our escape attempt, so why not fully give myself to someone I felt a stronger attraction too. And everyone in the Exhibit Housing knew I liked Garrett – so there’d be no judging me, right?
Garrett’s hands on my hips moved slowly toward my breasts and I sucked in a strained breath. When he was holding them, single fingers from each slid over now erect nipples and my highly sensitive areolas. I couldn’t help but react and…
“Oaaaoh…”
OH FUCK ME!
That act had jolted me awake, and I’d moaned softly out loud as he’d done that. It also made me involuntarily squeeze my legs together against his hips briefly, which only heightened the feelings of his fingers on my breasts and made my new genitalia come alive!
In that moment I became acutely aware that beneath me and a thin layer of fabric that were Garrett’s pants and underwear, I was sitting directly on his fully erect cock. Between that flash of realization and his face beginning to rise from the pillow to suckle my breasts – I couldn’t help but shudder uncontrollably as another stained moan of pleasure escaped my lips.
This time a little louder and less restrained. Oh! Damn! It!
I felt a hand move and settle at the back of my neck, my face being pulled towards his, and just before kissing him I caught a glimpse of a smile as his lips met mine and my eyes softly closed. His tongue exploring, a hand at my hip, his body beneath mine grinding into my…
What?
“Ummahaa…,” I moaned pitifully as intense sensations of pleasure bolting through my pelvis.
Am I hearing things? I heard something, didn’t I? Huh?
“Cameron…”
Who said that? Where was that voice coming from?
“Wake up,” the voice whispered and I felt a warm hand on my bare shoulder, followed by a little shake.
“Ugh, wat?” I whispered, not wanting to open my eyes fully because I could see the lighting in the holding pen was at early morning levels and only going to get brighter by the second.
“Hey, you seeing this?” Garrett asked.
I forced myself to look down towards the foot of the bed to where he was looking and could see inside the Exhibit Housing. My eyes popped wide open; the desire to nap comfortably next to his warm body holding mine and lazily relive every detail about last night was instantly gone as I tried to understand what I was looking at.
There was a door leading from the holding pen to the exhibit!
“Oh crap… That’s the exhibit… They, they didn’t drug us?”
“Apparently not,” he said, rolling out of bed quicker than I was prepared for and was just able to catch the sheets so my naked body wouldn’t be exposed as they tried to follow after him.
I watched him fishing around for his underwear on the floor and getting them on before pulling his pants on before saying, “I think we should get out of here and back with the others before they change their minds.”
No sooner had he said that I could hear faint clicking noises coming from beyond the doorway. I watched Garrett look towards the door for a moment, put his shirt on, and then lay my dress on the bed for me. I wasn’t going to be as bold as he’d been dressing in front of me—though after last night, getting dressed in front of him would certainly pale in comparison given all we’d done together.
I sat up with the sheet tucked under my arms and was able to get the dress on enough until I could get myself seated at the side of the bed.
“You need help getting up?”
I thought about it, nodded, I didn’t, tried to stand, and wasn’t all that wobbly. I was able to take a first step, but the second would have had me meeting the floor had he not been there to support me. Damn it!
“Not bad… You could barely do that yesterday,” he said, smiling while helping me to get steady again for another attempt at walking.
I made it a couple steps before I needed to stop for fear I’d fall over—even knowing he was there to catch me if I stumbled.
“I feel like I’m ninety CGD years old,” I complained, turning back towards the bed, and made it just in time to plop down unceremoniously on my ass, none to lady like.
“Let’s get to our house. I’ll have Zenia figure out getting you some of the clothes you had back, and then we can work on getting you mobile and introduced to everyone.”
The front of his pants caught my attention, and I looked up at him questioningly.
“What?” he asked, concerned.
“Your, ah… You had an accident last night?”
His pants had a stain of some sort at the crotch, like he’d spilled water on them or something. I watched him examine it and try to brush the dried stain away, but he gave up when he couldn’t.
“I think it... Well, I know where I... You know, like ended things,” he stopped speaking because he’d thought what he was saying was obvious—he'd cum inside of me, not his pants. “I think, ah, this is from, when... You know, when we began last night and you were on top of me...”
Augh… I could feel the flushness of my face burning hot with embarrassment as my hands came to my face to hide how mortified I was that the stain on his pants was most likely due to fluids originating from my body. I had absolutely grinded my naked body against him last night, and he’d done the same in kind in those first few minutes before I helped him remove his pants. If I thought pre-vagina exploration with Jessie had been amazing, post-genitalia swap and being with Garrett had made that look like some barren, inhospitable planet!
Of course all I could think in this moment was, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me!’ Yet, if I'm being honest here about bodily fluids being spread around last night, I can absolutely say his had leaked from my vagina after he’d ‘ended things’. As I recall, he was pretty damn vocal the first time he’d cum, and maybe louder when we’d done that dance a second time, slower and not so ‘teenagers in a rush’. During the night, I remember feeling his deposits leaking out of me and later trying to avoid a cold, wet area of the bedding while we were sleeping.
Whew, was it warm in here or is it just me?!
“Hey, it’s no big deal. Let’s get to our house; going around the back side of Liam and Zen’s, I’ll change, and no one will be the wiser,” he said, smiling. When I refused to look at him, he added, “Or, I’ll wear these proudly all day if we can repeat last night again.”
I dropped my hands from my face, mouth agape in shock, but was unable to keep a tiny smile from the corner of my mouth. I thought about how I’d like that; our bodies entwined, enjoying... It hit me hard, and I felt cheated all of a sudden. We’d never have anything like last night ever again! My head dropped, and a few seconds later the first tears fell into my lap.
“Whoa… Hey, hey… We’ll have plenty of chances to recapture last night’s magic, I promise,” he said soothingly, kneeling in front of me, lifting my chin, and kissing me softly. “Let’s get out of here first, and we can figure all that other stuff out later.”
Root CGD: Earth Day 3 in captivity—reset, 9:31 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
Our return to the Exhibit Housing was received well by the others—when we got around to letting everyone know. That happened after Garrett had changed his pants, thankfully. It also made quite the impression on those viewing us from above, judging by the insane amount of clicking going on when we had snuck slowly around the back of Liam and Zenia’s house to Garrett’s. It could have been curiosity or that Garrett had a hold of me the entire time we made that slow walk to our place that garnered those choruses’ of clicks.
I hoped there would come a point I wouldn’t even notice their clicking, as everyone in here had repeatedly told me would happen the last time I’d been here. It was a stupid thing to focus on, but I was sure their clicking was going to annoy me until I was either out of here or dead. At least the noise they were making wasn’t that angry teeth grinding noise, and I shuddered remembering that horrible sound.
Shortly after the quick introductions in the courtyard area, Garrett left to go meet with the men, and the trio of women needing something to do with the ‘new’ girl converged on our house with extra clothing in tow for me to get my wardrobe situated. Fortunately, I was able to get two of them to leave without having to do a try-on event like I had done with Ali. I’d made a bigger deal about not being steady on my feet yet to help push the idea I’d deal with selecting a wardrobe later and alone.
Doing that was a red flag for one of the women who’d gathered, and Zenia had hung back, telling the others she’d be there in a few minutes to help prep for our welcome luncheon.
“How are you feeling, really?” she asked, taking me in fully with a critical eye.
“Alright, but it was a surprise to wake up and not really be able to walk at all. I get why; well, at least I think it’s because of being in stasis or some other state before being woken up this time around. Pretty sure I can make it from here to anywhere in the house though, so nothing to worry about. Garrett should be back soon,” I replied, trying to ease her worries and not make this meeting any more awkward since she’d been coupled with Garrett.
Since she had a medical background, I knew the group looked to her to keep an eye on everyone’s health—even without a single piece of medical equipment at her disposal. I hoped we could maintain at least that kind of relationship.
“I see the spots on your legs and arms, so at least they were smart enough to try and get your muscles in some form of working order before bringing you back in,” she stated.
“Yeah, guess,” I replied without much enthusiasm.
She looked like she had something specific she wanted to say and, after a moment’s thought, said, “Look, I'm...”
“I get it,” I interrupted her and reached out for her hand. “I really don’t want to think about having lost Ali, Cayline, Jessie, and Mike—so let’s just keep what’s important in front of us and concentrate on what’s next for us in here. Everyone did what they needed to do to survive; I know that. I can accept that.
She looked surprised I had taken her hand; maybe that I hadn’t mentioned her being coupled with Garrett, squeezed mine in return, and smiled before saying, “Fair enough... I’m good with moving forward. After Jessie and you didn’t come back, well, Ali was in a bit of a slump there for a while. I think she had banked a little too heavily on us getting out of here, maybe. I kind of stepped in for you as someone she could talk to. We talked a lot, and she told me about how you were struggling with all that’s happened to you. I can see an additional change since you were last here, which, if you’re curious, was five-hundred and thirty-one CGD days ago.”
I could only stare at her dumbfounded and was certain I’d either heard her wrong or she had miscalculated how long I’d actually been away. Then I remembered Ali had told me she had gotten bored early on and became the historian for this place and had a makeshift ‘tick-mark’ calendar tracking everyone’s comings and goings, major events, and what have you. I was certain I couldn’t have been gone that long, though.
If true, that meant it was closer to two CGD years since I was last on the Barrow Gar, the last time I’d been myself. That just can’t be!
“Look, you’re likely done getting much gain from the hormones they’re giving us, so other than normal aging and gaining and losing weight like the rest of us, you should be about through with the changes to your body. If you ever have any concerns or something feels off, I’m happy to talk with you about it, even if you just want to vent. Don’t let this place bottle up in your head, or it’ll make you spiral. Everyone here has had their share of weak moments, so if you’re not dealing with something or worried, come talk to me.
“I will say, you’re still a bit of a mystery though, and as to why they’d bring you here since you began life as a biological male,” and as soon as she said that, she read something on my face and quickly added, “Oh, seriously, no one here is going to care about that; it’s just not clear yet how that’s supposed to work with you and Garrett, that’s all, you know what I’m saying.”
Root CGD: Earth Day 531 in captivity, 10:25 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I told Zenia about the one change to my body that wasn’t evident while clothed—that part of me that was missing now. I thought she was going to lose her mind – she was so pissed after I’d told her that! Not at me, but at our hosts and them having subjected me to such a radical change. When she calmed down, she had questions.
“That’s a first! Did the, ah... Like, was what they did a castration and removal of, well, you know? Something more than that?” she asked.
That led to a few quick exchanges to level set that I was pretty sure what I had between my legs now was functional, as in I had the same genitalia she had. I skipped mentioning I was sure of it being fairly complete because I’d kind of put it through its paces last night, and there was no way given everything I felt during that experience, twice, that I wasn’t ‘complete’ down there. Being she was medically trained, I asked what I needed to be aware of now.
“Okay, I was worried you were telling me they had castrated you or you had some prehistoric Transgender genitalia mutilation to construct a pseudo-vagina. Transplantation is more likely what’s happened and would certainly be a better option, so you’re lucky in that sense if that’s what they did to you. With the advanced nature of the species of alien keeping us here, I’d bet you’ve been gifted some woman’s full reproductive system. As mind-blowing as that sounds, it wouldn’t be an easy operation to get right or recover from certainly. It’s interesting they’d hook our reproductive system in a biological male though; I can’t begin to explain that one.”
“So do I need to worry about this?” I asked, trying to hide any panic from my voice.
“No, not like anything is going to go wrong, at least this far into recovery from a transplant—if that’s what was done. Your body would have rejected the new addition long ago, and I’m betting the bulk of your time away was spent in recovery so your body could heal. But...,” she paused to think about how to put a concern that was written on her face. “Men don’t have childbearing hips. So if they hooked everything up correctly and let’s say you become pregnant—if that’s possible, that could be a problem because they’d need to operate on you to get your baby out and need to know that’s the only way for you to deliver safely. I’d worry about the stress on the baby during active labor and their not understanding you’re going to need surgery to actually deliver.”
I felt lightheaded, needed to sit and took the few steps needed to get to the bed and sat down harder than intended after hearing that. I hadn’t considered that what was now between my legs could lead to me possibly becoming pregnant, carrying a child, or... How had I missed that simple idea in all the thought I’d given to being with Garrett last night?!
“We don’t even know if that’s the case here; it’s possible you’re only partially complete. No egg-producing capability,” she said, trying to soften the message she’d just delivered.
“How would we know?” I asked more worried when I felt I could speak.
“I could check... See if I can figure that out.”
Root CGD: Earth Day 531 in captivity, 10:41 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I was on my back with my knees drawn up, legs spread, and on the bed after Zenia went and washed her hands. It wasn’t two minutes before she was looking seriously engaged in what she was doing, which was having a single finger inserted in what I assumed was my transplanted vagina. I could feel her finger tip touching something deep inside of me, and try as I might, I could help but complain about the discomfort I was feeling.
None of what she’d done examining my labia’s, clitoris, or even inserting her finger into my vagina's opening was the least bit pleasurable. I’d stiffened uncomfortably a few times, yelped softly three times, and got ‘Sorry about that...’ each time out of her. I’m sure she was trying to be gentle, but this experience was odd, if not the most awkward experience I’d ever endured. I wasn’t enjoying any of it—not that I expected I would.
“Relax,” she said, pressing her finger in deeper, moving it side to side slowly over something inside of me.
I sucked in a quick breath before straining to whisper, "I can… I can really feel… Ah, that really kind of hurts."
She was looking at me, but not looking at me, more staring through me as she pressed her finger onto something. While what she was touching inside of me might have been in the same general area I felt Garrett’s penis hitting while on top of him, this sensation lacked any of that excitement I’d felt last night during sex. The difference between the two experiences was easily light years apart. I just wanted what she was doing to stop!
I was beginning to open my mouth to complain and felt her easing up, slowly pulling her finger out from within me before fixing me with a more present gaze.
“That was your cervix; I was just touching,” she said, coaxing my legs flat before pressing areas of my abdomen and around my crotch. “This, and here... Lymph nodes and they feel,” she jiggled her finger on one of the spots a little while pressing, “Good… I’m impressed by the work they’ve done. This kind of work is easily 400K credits at a reputable facility plus the cost to the transplant family for the, well, everything you got now, so tack on another 100K. If they’re doing this kind of work, I mean damn... Someone has skill, especially with working outside their own species, right?”
She was looking at me as though she were both confused about my new genitalia’s installation and impressed by it all at the same time.
"Generally, what I just did would be done with a scanning instrument externally and would tell us things like whether your uterus wasn’t in a normal position, like retroverted or flexed. Best I can tell, your vagina is perfectly normal in its positioning. I couldn’t feel any lesions or erosions; everything felt like it was the right size, and when I was palpating, I didn’t feel any masses or enlarged areas. That’s pretty much what every woman wants to hear, so congrats,” she said.
“You could have led with everything being normal,” I quipped.
“Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve done an actual exam on someone who wasn’t pregnant.”
“Can this be reversed?” I asked sheepishly.
“Certainly, but original DNA markers would be needed to put you back exactly as you were pre-transplant, or you could just go with some off-the-shelf version of something bigger or smaller than you had originally in regards to your penis. The hormones you’ve been getting have made some significant changes to your body that only with a map can you get back to where your body originated. Sorry to lay that on you.”
“So, do you think I could actually get pregnant?” I asked worried.
“Likely, we’ll know after you have your first period. If you have your period, then yes.”
“What?” I snapped, not sure I’d heard her correctly.
“Tell me you’re not oblivious to the human reproductive cycle as it relates to women,” she said staring at me. When I didn’t answer right away, she turned to go wash her hands.
When she returned, I got a refresher lesson on eggs and sperm, lectured on the four phases that would constitute my menstrual cycle and what each phase meant, what I could generally expect, and when I’d be most fertile.
“Perfect world, about 2 weeks before your period, that’s your window to become pregnant, generally speaking—though not set in palladium. About two weeks after your last period, which is in the middle of a typical 28-day cycle, is when you ovulate, releasing an egg. That’ll hang around in your fallopian tube waiting for sperm. You’ll ovulate for about 12 to 24 hours. If the egg isn’t fertilized, it’ll be reabsorbed by your body. Good so far? Listen carefully; anything deposited can live for up to five days within your body. If you’re counting days, understand there’s still leeway on either side.”
I nod that I got it, but none of what she’d said registered or was remotely on any radar I thought I understood about this new body of mine. The ability to get pregnant wasn’t lost on me now, and that was yet another scary aspect of this path I was on.
“Things will start rolling after 11 days of an egg being fertilized or you being pregnant, basically. That’s after the egg has seated itself, when your placenta begins forming, and pregnancy hormones will be bombing your system.”
“So, I’ll know I’m pregnant?”
“No, but there are signs—things you’ll pick up on once you’ve done this a few times. Like your urine might smell different, those lymph nodes I was just poking might be tender, but without a test or blood draw, we’re just guessing, and it’s still 50/50 that early into it. Most early pregnancy symptoms don’t appear until around eight weeks after the first day of your last period,” she said, stopping midsentence because I likely looked lost. “Look, rule one: pregnancy is different for every woman. Some symptoms may appear right around the time you miss your period. Light spotting, breast tenderness, being lightheaded—certainly fatigued by how quickly our bodies react to nourishing that egg. I always have mild cramping when there’s no reason I should be having them. Syn says she’s sensitive to the way food tastes and smells; sometimes she feels sick and throws up. Cekoo said her clothes start getting tight; she notices it in her breasts first; that’s how she knows. Every woman is different; trust me.”
I was feeling a little queasy, remembered her saying the word ‘deposited’, and shook my head. I was lightheaded before sitting am I…
“What?” she asked, but grinned. “You’re worried about last night with Garrett, aren’t you?”
“How did…,” I stopped speaking and threw an arm over my eyes. I couldn’t look at her.
“You’re a little red down there, so I assumed you two gave it a test run. Any pain or bleeding afterwards?”
I still couldn’t look at her. “Not that I know of... I leaked for a while, but I’m pretty sure that was his fault. Nothing in bed this morning caught either of our attentions when we left the holding pen; I’d have noticed any blood.”
Zenia chuckled, “Need to teach that man to get up and get you a towel. I didn’t have to do that with Liam; he just gets up. Beats rolling onto a wet spot in the middle of the night.”
Augh! Is it warm in here?!
Root CGD: Earth Day 531 in captivity, 1:22 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
This version of my welcome lunch to introduce me to the others went a lot like the first one I had done. The only real difference was this time I didn’t have to repeat my story like I did that first time. Everyone knew my original story—the guy who was inserted to be one of the women by our hosts. The guy who was part of the failed escape attempt and the only one anyone had talked with that had actually seen our captors up close and personal—even if it was just long enough to be impaled and bleed out.
There was less questioning of where I fit in now because I shared I’d been modified by our hosts, telling them about the transplantation.
“And this wasn’t something you wanted to do originally?” Beck asked, unsure he had a clear picture of what I’d told them.
“At the time I’d agreed to take a dose of female hormones, I only did that to escape the pain when the Senian I’d been given did little to ease it. It turned out the other men in my crew had taken a second dose of Senian, and all of them had died. My first officer thought the women of my crew hadn’t been affected due to the hormonal differences. I didn’t expect to be where I am now after the last time I was in here,” I explained.
“What a mind trip this must be for you,” he offered, a little shocked.
I chuckled at that idea, saying after a moment, “That’s one way to look at it.”
Outside of that exchange, the luncheon had felt like a success, and I was made to feel welcome. I hadn’t tried to hide behind Garrett, but I certainly stuck close to him. I appreciated that no one looked at me funny or as Jessie had that first time, which was uncomfortable, but I understood why later. With Garrett, I felt safe, and I was going to rely on him to be my partner in all that was sure to come – at least until we could get out of here.
I was a little surprised to be able to walk out to the little courtyard area on my own. Zenia had mentioned I needed to keep at it, asking if I wanted to walk the perimeter of this place later this evening after dinner, before it got dark out. I agreed, but right after doing that, I caught Liam and Turpin nodding heads in some secret signal sort of way and looked at Garrett to see that he’d caught it also. What happened next was the splitting of us into groups, with the men off to huddle about ‘man’ things, while the women got to clean up.
Ridiculous they still held to this little bit of segregation, and it baffled me the women hadn’t ever called them on it.
This time around, though, I honestly didn’t care about the split; I knew I could get Garrett to tell me what was going on if I asked. Truthfully, after the last time I stuck my neck out for this group, I wasn’t anxious to repeat being involved with any planning or plans. I just hoped they weren’t considering another escape. I did not want a repeat of that disaster with anyone, especially Garrett. Not that I wanted to be here any longer than I had to, but pushing for an exit wasn’t something on my radar at the moment.
After the food had been divided, we each got a plate to take home. Syn had said she wouldn’t need to cook tonight, and that was a very déjà vu moment for both Zenia and me—we smiled knowingly about it to each other. When I left to go back home, Zenia joined me since the men were still gathered in her place.
“Funny, Ali and I did this same thing the last welcome lunch I attended; she came home with me after we cleaned up.”
“She told me... Also that you were pissed about this boys club thing,” she replied, smiling.
“Yeah, at the time that was probably wasted energy. You have any idea what they’re talking about? Do they do this planning crap often?” I asked.
“No and no... I think with you back there’s a renewed hope we could fly out of here if we could get to a ship. As far as I know, there are no escape ideas on the table.”
“I can’t express how dangerous that host was that killed Jessie, and I was sure it had delivered a fatal wound to me. I still can’t believe I’m alive or…” I figured she got the genitalia part, so I stopped speaking.
“I’m so sorry about how that went down, that you had to witness Jessie like…,” she stopped speaking before completing her sentence.
“I’m sorry too... Do we know if they changed the stores port at all?”
“It won’t open if there’s anyone out there or appearing to maybe want to make a run at it from your old house since it’s the closest to the port. The time it’s open is half what it used to be; think Liam told everyone that after watching it one evening a few CGD months back from our front door.”
“So, we’re kind of trapped here then?”
“For the time being, yeah,” she answered, sounding a little sad.
“How are you doing?”
“I actually might be pregnant.”
“Oh, how do you know?” I asked.
“I had some pretty extreme cramping after I was with you this morning, it’s my sign,” she said before turning quiet for a moment. “Garrett and I lost two children while you were gone... Not sure why I’m telling you that, to be honest. He took it pretty hard the first time; I think he just wanted something positive to hold onto after you didn’t return. I’m sure he never stopped thinking about you, Cam. Seeing him with you, he looks content, alive again, and he’s smiling.”
“He didn’t mention that. I’m sorry for your loss. None of this can be easy on any of the women or men. Thank you for telling me, I, I’m glad he seems like he’s happy again,” I said, feeling flush in the moment.
When she didn’t look to have anything to add, I asked, “Any idea how they’re pumping us full of hormones or whatever?”
“I’ve thought about that a lot, and I’m almost positive they’re doing it via the water. Not what we drink, but chemically when we bathe. There are a few compounds that, within their synthesized water, would make for easy drug delivery through our skin. I can tell the difference in how I feel when I don’t shower for a couple days. Liam doesn’t like that much, but it’s been something I’ve given some thought and a little research effort.”
“That actually kind of makes sense if you think about it. They control what comes out of the faucet and infuse that for whichever sex is. Now I don’t want to bathe,” I complained.
“I get it; you could maybe shower with Garrett, and that would slow the ingesting down some, but not completely. I think they’d switch to putting it in the water you drink at that point, unless Garrett got you a glass of water, and then you’d be taking on those things they meant for him. Could be dangerous; I wouldn’t recommend that.”
“True, but it would sure screw with our hosts if we did a bunch of that,” I replied with an evil grin.
Root CGD: Earth Day 531 in captivity, 8:58 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
“You didn’t get enough to eat?” I asked entering the house after finishing a few slow laps around the perimeter of the Exhibit Housing complex with Zenia.
“I was just hungry for a snack,” Garrett answered tentatively; maybe embarrassed I’d caught him eating.
“Is there anything to do around here that’s fun?”
He gave me a look, which I promptly squashed with my own look of embarrassment at the idea he might think I was suggesting we could fool around.
“We could walk the perimeter or go play cards with the others. Liam usually has a card game going on nightly. Trying to figure out ways to annoy our hosts is always fun,” he offered.
“Hmmm… Just did a walk with Zenia; I suck at pretty much any card game or game of chance, and the idea of making our hosts angry—hard ‘no thank you’ on that one. Is there really that little to do here?”
“Afraid so… Come sit,” he said, gesturing to the small couch. “You’ve had a rough bunch of days; let me massage your feet or other areas of your body if that’s of any interest to you.”
I couldn’t help but smile, but made a dash to the couch as best I could, plopped down on it, and wiggled my toes up at him.
That got him chuckling before he said, “Ya could have drug me to the bedroom, you know.”
“I do, and if my foot massage is good, then maybe I’d do that.”
I was full on blushing hard, trying to smile, and trying to act nonchalant about the fact I was absolutely interested in being with him again tonight. He sat next to me, picking a foot to knead, squeezing it a few times, and I couldn’t help but groan my satisfaction softly. OH MY!
“Wow, you’re pretty good at this,” I said softly.
“Thank you; it helps when you’ve got cute feet.”
“Yeah, not how I’d describe these solar pontoons,” I replied, rolling my eyes at him.
Garrett chuckled, raised my foot, and kissed the top of it. “You have cute feet, and don’t you ever doubt that.”
I was flush again and warm all of a sudden in an area I hadn’t expected. That I could tell was both interesting and confusing. How was it he could push my buttons in an ‘Oh!’ so satisfying way and so easily?
We hadn’t really talked about the boys club meeting during dinner, so I decided to press.
“What was on the agenda for your little meeting?”
::: --- :::
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Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: Earth Day 531 in captivity, 9:03 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
"No… I don’t think you guys realize just how dangerous our hosts are,” I said softly.
“Liam’s figured out a way to create a small explosive device,” he began saying.
“An untested device made of food scraps, right? That’s what you said...”
“Yes, but theoretically it should work,” Garrett complained.
“And they want me to fly a ship out of here, right? Fine, I’ll do that; you can tell them I’ll do it, alright... Believe me, I want out of here as much as anyone. But if they want me to fight my way to a ship, I’m not going to do that. That alien we encountered grabbed Jessie by the neck from a meter and a half away from the doorway, lifted him up, and shook him—breaking his neck like it was nothing. If that took all of three seconds to do, I would be surprised,” I complained, choking up and stopped speaking for a moment to regain my composure. “Look, all I’m saying is that’s not a battle we’re going to win with a theoretical device. Come on, you have to know that!”
I guess I shouldn’t be all that surprised the brain trust began to revive plans for escaping this place since they had someone who might be able to pilot a ship out of here. I just didn’t think they fully understood the danger our hosts posed to us. Garrett had laid out loose, generalized ideas they’d been mulling over, but in my mind they were incomplete and only served to get someone killed. Plus, they were going to rely on getting one of the men pulled out of here to get the escape rolling—then that volunteer would battle back into the exhibit housing to get us out! Seriously, that’s the best they could come up with?!
“When people are taken out of here, they aren’t awake; they’ve been drugged somehow. Be that with the food we’re eating or, as Zenia thinks, the water we’re bathing in. How do you get past that issue?” I challenged.
“Stimulants encased in a shell that will dissolve over a period of time,” he stated solemnly.
"Really? Someone is going to cook up something to revive whoever is taken out of here? To what end? That you wake up and are killed? Or you try to fumble with some explosive device that may or may not kill you in the process? Do you think they’ll pull whomever out of here if they detect that device on them? What if they figure it out and a couple of them come in here to eliminate any threats or all of us?"
I’d asked those questions in rapid succession, not giving him a chance to reply until I ran out of questions.
“I understand, and there are details we need to work out still, but we can’t stay in here forever. I’ve been here over four, probably closer to five CGD years, and I want my damn life back,” he stated, annoyed.
“I get it. I understand, but our hosts aren’t stupid; they’re going to be a lot more careful than they have been. Have you considered they could be treating us a whole lot worse? My vote is to wait for some chance, some missed aspect of them keeping us penned in here, then plan something that’s got a better chance of us getting out of here.”
Root CGD: Earth Day 532 in captivity, 6:22 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
We’d gone to bed miffed at one another. The foot massage to fooling around idea was off the table by the time we’d actually crawled into bed. Was I disappointed about that? Sure, and it took every ounce of self-control I had to not break down in front of him because I was disappointed and feeling like this first little disagreement we’d had would put a wedge between us somehow. It hadn’t helped my sense of doom on the horizon realizing we’d both slept back to back for most of the night.
I woke to use the bathroom no less worried about...
“You alright?”
“Yeah, just need to go to the bathroom,” I said, stopping at the door to our room to answer him.
The sky above us was beginning to lighten up, and I could see he was staring at me from the bed. I was wearing one of his t-shirts, and I tried my best to smile, but when he didn’t offer anything more, I went to do what I’d set out to do—go pee. Three minutes of additional worry in the bathroom, and I returned to our room with a glimmer of hope from what greeted me. He’d moved to my side of the bed and had the sheet held up for me to slide in next to him on his side.
I smiled shyly and joined him, and we were spooning comfortably after I’d lain down next to him. We also had an audience judging by the sporadic round of clicking noises above us as we lay there.
“I’m sorry about last night,” he said after assuming I was comfortable.
“Me too,” I replied, trying my best to not sound annoyed that there were more ‘clickety-click’ noises coming from somewhere above us.
“Just ignore them.”
Mind read much?!
I couldn’t help but smile to myself and reply, “I’m trying, but it’s not easy.”
“I want you to know I really do understand how you feel about us thinking we can make a break for it without a solid enough plan. I’d never discount your thoughts on any of that after what happened to you and Jessie,” he said, kissing my neck briefly while hugging me gently. “I’ve been in here too long, and it, well, it kind of grinds on me. I wasn’t focused on your feelings last night; I promise to do better.”
“I understand, really I do, and I hope you believe me when I say that. It’s, well… I just don’t want to lose anyone, especially not you,” I whispered.
Saying that out loud felt oddly comforting, though I was a little surprised I’d shared that with him feeling as vulnerable about our coupling as I did. He needed to know, I reasoned, though I suspect he already did. We held each other in silence for a moment, and I saw it in my mind before it happened, my face being turned towards my shoulder, lips meeting mine, a dark brown mustache that tickled my lips, and an urgent kiss... Nothing more of that man’s face was shown to me in that flash of a memory before Garrett was gently turning my face towards my shoulder, his red mustache tickling my lips as he kissed me.
It took no effort to put that memory aside and live in the moment, the real waking moment, where I was nestled in Garrett’s arms and our tongues were dancing happily in my mouth.
The kiss was short, and I absently rubbed one of his feet with one of mine, but that ended when he gently rolled me onto my back after scooting over a little. Now looking down on me, he had a serious look on his face, and I braced for being told something I wasn’t going to like or want to hear.
“I’m not going anywhere, okay... Neither are you. I’ll handle Liam and the other guys, but there will likely be a need to assure them that if they can clear a safe path out of here for us, you’d still be willing to fly us out of here.”
“I am…”
I felt better about how he’d tried to balance everyone’s expectations, but it didn’t squash my fears that any attempt at getting out of here would end badly. We had no proven weapons to bear, so whatever we ended up doing would need to be thought out and not be some rash storming of our alien hosts, who put both Jessie and I down in less than ten to twelve seconds at the most. There would be a need to level the playing field or we’d be screwed, and this time our hosts might not save any of the collaterally damaged humans like they had me.
Garrett leaned in to kiss me, and I got my arms around him to pull him close. That effort interrupted our kissing and got me a momentary look of questioning from him. He quickly figured out I wanted the same thing he did, and he moved his body on top of mine with no further coaxing necessary. There was care, an absence of rushing, and as he moved, I slowly spread my legs to accept his position on top of me before we were kissing again.
Both times we’d had sex in the holding pen, I’d been on top of him, and what was happening now felt very different. Certainly my prospective was different, but his weight on me was comforting and commanding, and I was so ready to feel him inside of me if my heart didn’t give out from beating so damn fast.
He wasn’t in any hurry though, not like I’d been the first time I gave myself to him. I had rolled my hips quickly over his manhood once he was naked in the holding pen because it felt unbelievable, intoxicating, and just plain WOW! The second time I’d done that he’d entered me quite easily and my world lit up like nothing I’d ever experienced before.
Right now, every move he made was slow, calculated, and driving my desire for him to be inside of me to the point of being crucial for me to maintain my own sanity. COME ON! I tried to wiggle my hips beneath him slightly to line him up, but it did nothing but frustrate me having his manhood so close and not being able to get it inside of me.
When he broke our kiss to nuzzle my neck, I huffed a soft moan before pleading softly, "Please...”
"No…” was his whispered reply.
I raked my nails gently over his ass, which became his back as his body slid down mine. His lips surrounding each of my firm nipples for a moment as he kept moving his body further down mine...
“Garrrrtt...” I whimpered, but he was already kissing my stomach by the time I said that and sliding his arms beneath my legs. Was he going to…
“Waaitt...” I croaked pitifully and stiffened when his tongue slipped between the lips of my…
Root CGD: Earth Day 532 in captivity, 10:55 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I was having trouble concentrating during the ‘boys club’ meeting I was invited to after getting ready for the day. My mind was still in bed with Garrett, yet my physical body was a dozen or so meters from our bed. I couldn’t begin to count the number of times he’d brought me to a plateau of immense, pure, and the absolute rawest pleasure I’d ever experienced in my life while his face was buried between my legs sucking, licking, and fingering my vagina. I truly felt there was some form of enhanced connection between my mind and my body right now that moved me to depths of pleasure that were new and intoxicating.
When I’d finally caught my breath after we’d finished making love, I actually cried.
Of course that freaked Garrett out, and it was difficult for me to explain to him that everything was alright and that I was just happy, content. Happy? How did I go from being myself to being happy and feeling completely fulfilled with this man? I am myself though, right, just a little different in the physical sense? There had to be something I was missing...
“Your thoughts, Cam?” Liam asked.
I’d been listening half-heartedly and thankfully had heard most of Liam’s spiel last night from Garrett. Liam had just finished explaining the plan, and my mind hadn’t been changed as to it being one I had no confidence in. And, I didn’t much like him shortening my name for some reason, but I could let that slide for now.
“I don’t think we should be planning this without everyone being involved,” I stated calmly, though inside I was afraid I’d just pissed Liam and maybe Beck off by the looks on both their faces.
Turpin looked like he didn’t care that I’d suggested everyone should be in on this session. I couldn’t see Garrett because he was at my side. I probably just overstepped my place in this ‘leadership’ group. Oh well!
“Noted, and the rest of the women will be brought into the planning when it’s appropriate,” Liam said in reply.
I didn’t really know him, so I couldn’t tell if his reply had a hint of annoyance in it or not. Was he worried the women would side with me on the idea of making another escape attempt with these obvious dangers, risks?
“We’re just being hypothetical here; what’s the harm in having three additional insights?” I pressed.
Root CGD: Earth Day 532 in captivity, 11:11 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
Everyone was gathered now in Liam and Zenia’s living room, and he’d just gone over the moving pieces of the plan—Zenia creating a stimulant that would wake the person after it dissolved from a hardened shell made of crystallized plant-based sugars, the small explosive device he’d created, and the idea one of the men would get that rolling by getting themselves pulled out of here.
“Is there more to this plan?” Cekoo asked.
Syn asked about the stimulant and whether it was enough to wake someone before Liam got a chance to answer Cekoo’s question.
“Syn, we know that stimulant from the blue fruit doesn’t have any effect on you since you hog the supply of it,” Liam said with a friendly laugh.
“I can’t help it; I need the boost, but lately I’m wondering if the season is off or maybe I’ve built up a tolerance,” she replied.
“Hello, plan?” Cekoo repeated.
“Getting there,” Liam chided, and he went over a few more details, but there wasn’t anything more to the plan than what he’d shared with me earlier.
“Cam, do you think someone could deploy the device quick enough?” Cekoo asked me.
‘Cam’ again, but I didn’t mind her saying it. Why? Did it matter? Augh… Focus!
“There would be a lot of variables to consider. How deeply out of it the person is. What steps are necessary for deploying the device and whether it works seamlessly? What’s the blast range? How does that person press the attack and how to deal with their response,” I answered quickly, but felt like I could have talked longer to expand on how bad of an idea this was.
“Who’s going to go?” Syn asked.
“Beck or me,” Liam answered.
By the look on Zenia’s face, that was news to her. I don’t think Cekoo liked that her man was being considered either.
“What other options do we have?” Garrett began. “Where are the weak points to this cage we’re in?”
“The stores port, but that’s locked down,” Syn answered.
“A few weeks back I noticed a glitch in the projected sky, just where it starts to round itself from the walls into the dome over us. Could we try to go up somehow?” Cekoo asked.
“We’re being watched round the clock, not sure we want to head right into a crowd of these aliens,” I replied.
“Yeah, guess that wouldn’t a good idea,” Cekoo conceded and followed up with a question, “Was this your idea, Cam, to bring us all together to discuss this?”
She knew it likely was; there were eight of us in the Exhibit Housing, and I know they all looked at me differently or as if I were a troublemaker set on bucking the system or still having some of that ‘man’ focus to who I was since I was once more of a man.
“No, not really,” I said with as much confidence as I could muster. “The guys laid out the plan for me and asked about flying us out of here. I said I was in, but asked about what everyone else thought, and here we are.”
That got me skeptical looks, but no further pressing. A few other ideas were kicked around after that exchange, all by the women.
“Could we make enough of these devices to repel an attack?” Zenia asked.
“Don’t see why not,” Liam replied.
“What about blowing a whole through where Garrett and Cam entered the Exhibit House from the holding pens?” Cekoo asked.
“I searched around my pen the first time I was brought here and couldn’t find any exit. I think it surprised both of us that there was an entrance from them to the exhibit. The wall between the pens where Garrett and I were held had the ability to be one way transparent, but to the touch felt metallic when not see through—even though it could be completely removed to allow access to the other pen or Exhibit Housing area,” I noted.
“Has anyone noticed along the walls of the exhibit any dead spots in the way the wall feels? I don’t walk the perimeter, so I wouldn’t know,” Beck asked.
“No…,” was the reply from both Syn and Zenia.
Ideas and thoughts on the matter of our collective cage and escaping wound down with nothing worth talking over being offered up.
“We should do this more, gather to plan, and share things we observe that might spark some idea or thought someone else has about getting out of here,” Cekoo said.
To this point Garrett had said next to nothing but replied, “We should... Everyone has a stake in getting out of here. With Cekoo and Zen being pregnant, they’re likely to be the next pulled out of here for whatever it is our hosts are doing with you women to check on your pregnancies. Could be an opportunity to try out the stimulant, fake being out of it to observe where they take you, or what makes up this facility?”
The look on Zenia’s face wasn’t lost on any of us; she’d not shared that information with anyone except maybe Liam and me about her suspicion of being pregnant. It was clear she wasn’t ready for it to be public knowledge yet and less than a day old ‘feeling’ that she 'might’ be pregnant at that. Augh! I’d told Garrett that last night before the foot massage went bad and hadn’t mentioned to him to keep that quiet.
When Zenia looked my way, I mouthed, 'Sorry.' She just rolled her eyes and gave me a smirk. I hoped that meant she wasn’t pissed.
Root CGD: Earth Day 532 in captivity, 6:31 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I had apologized to Zenia for the slip-up during the impromptu lunch the group had after the escape plan meeting. Thankfully she’d told me not to worry about it, but it still bothered me that I’d betrayed her confidence like that. We’d just finished our first lap around the exhibit perimeter, not really talking about anything specific, when Syn spied us and joined our walkabout.
“You’re looking like you can get around pretty well now,” she said, falling in besides me. “I run the perimeter daily, so if you want to join me sometime, feel free. I’ll take it easy on you.”
I’d seen her out here earlier with Turpin jogging round and round the exhibit. There was a distinct two-meter wide path that had been worn into the artificial grass we were walking on from use over the years. I wasn’t quite up to running, but maybe at some point I’d consider it. My larger breasts now would likely be something I wouldn’t like much while running if they were all bouncy. I could barely ignore their movement while walking, let alone breathing, or anything Garrett and I were up to intimately.
“Thanks for the offer. It is getting easier to walk. Though I about fell over in the shower this morning. My balance is still a little wonky,” I offered.
“Cekoo and I meant to tell you during lunch we appreciate you standing up for us and getting us included in the decisions being made around here. Not that there’s a lot of it going on, but these guys needed a reality check. They each talk to us outside of their club, so I’m not sure why they were reluctant to include us to begin with. Whatever…”
“I didn’t do much, Syn, but I’m glad it worked out. The more insight, the better our plans will be, and the chance we avoid someone getting hurt is minimized.”
“Garrett seemed pretty mellow about the women being involved in there today; he need any extra convincing?” she asked playfully.
“No, he… I don’t know, he gets I’m a bit strong-willed? Maybe?” I replied, unsure of that answer or what she meant by ‘convincing’.
"Well, he looks a lot better of late, happier,” Syn offered softly.
That comment garnered a look from Zenia in my direction, along with a raised brow that said, ‘Told you so.’
“He’s been good dealing with us being a couple... I’m lucky for sure,” was my slightly embarrassed reply.
“Can I ask how you’re dealing with being, well, basically all woman now?”
I looked at Zenia for help, but she looked to be interested in letting me come up with my own answer.
“There’s certainly a lot I’m dealing with, but between the last time I was in here and the three days since I woke up like this to be reinserted here—it’s been a bigger adjustment. What’s weird is I feel like I’m losing sight of who I was, like I’ve lost parts of me and this new version fits me and I feel comfortable most of the time. I keep looking around for what I lost though when the mood strikes. I don’t know if any of that makes any sense.”
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through,” Syn said and added, “It'd be interesting to try it out though, for fun.”
Both women chuckled for a moment, and Zenia chimed in with, “Nah, not me.”
“That’s a big part of how I’m coping with this, understanding I’m just trying it out. Some of it, yeah...,” my voice faded because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.
Was I really coping? I’d had sex with Garrett three times now! Each more amazing than the last and certainly better in this form than when I experienced sex as a male. Was that really ‘coping’ at its best? Was my heart set on reversing all of this?
“I think she likes it,” Syn said, looking to Zenia around me.
“I think we heard her this morning is what you’re getting at Syn,” Zenia replied, giving her a look that included a wicked smile.
I stopped walking, and it took two steps for them to do the same before giving me looks and questioning if something was wrong.
“You didn’t!” I complained, flushed, and supremely embarrassed.
“The clicking was a bit noisy, if I’m being honest. Plus, Turpin was on our porch talking with Liam, so that narrows the field of those who might have been up and enjoying the start of the day. Cekoo’s preg's, and given that baby bump she isn’t likely doing much with Beck,” Syn giggled.
I couldn’t look at them and began walking again, both of them joining in beside me.
“It’s alright, we get it, Cam,” Zenia said softly, rubbing my back with her hand to comfort my embarrassment.
“Yeah, really, no one cares. I tend to bury my face in a pillow when my man is giving it to me like that, and I want to keep the noise down,” Syn said all conspiratorial.
“How’s it different for you now, the sex?” Zenia asked.
How is it different?! You’re kidding, right? I don’t even want to think about... About how it... Wait, why can’t I remember what it actually felt like when I was my previous self?
Root CGD: Earth Day 532 in captivity, 10:04 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
“Where’d you go?”
“What do you mean?” I asked softly.
“Ah, a question with a question... I seem to remember someone complaining to me about that once,” Garrett said, hugging me a little tighter after getting back into bed.
He’d gotten up to get a towel for me to keep his cum that would eventually dribble out of me from creating wet spots on my side of the bed.
“Ha, ha,” I complained, wiping between my legs gently because everything down there was still on high alert and still highly sensitive. I was a little self-conscious about having to do this cleanup routine, but it was necessary and just one of those things that made the aftermath of sex a little nicer.
“So?”
He was right; I had spent time during our session together focused on something besides enjoying everything that was happening between us. Our hosts certainly seemed to enjoy it, judging by the ‘clickety-click-click-fucking-clicky’ noises they were making! Augh! Will I ever get used to that?
I was embarrassed he had picked up that my focus had drifted. I couldn’t remember if I’d ever been with a woman who’d lost focus enough for me to pick up on that while we were having sex. Nope… Can’t recall that every happening. How had he known I’d gone off on my own?
In my new form tonight, I had taken a few moments to try and understand if I felt anything now like I did during sex when I had different genitalia. I couldn’t get past thinking there wasn’t as much too climaxing—cumming—back then, but now it was beyond description and then some.
None of that should come as a surprise, though, right? Women got the better experience from sex than men did—that wasn’t a secret. Why had Syn and Zenia’s inquiry mattered? It didn't! I’m who I’ve always been, just different, right? I’m going to feel, think, and experience everything differently; why fight it? Seriously, why fight it if I like it and like the guy taking me to new heights and letting me experience them?
Tonight we’d gone from spooning to sex while spooning, and I might have been a little distracted for a few moments, but I thought for sure I’d made up for that by losing control of my body's movements too many times to count. And I had absolutely lost my mind a few times moaning into my pillow, once even begging him not to stop for a second, before grinding myself into him after he’d cum until I swear my eyesight went blurry!
“I was just thinking about... I don’t know exactly, but something about sex now is very different,” I replied and felt like I had mumbled my answer.
"Different? Of course it’s different, right?”
“Yeah, I mean, sure... It’s, you know, different,” I whined.
“Like better?”
I slowly turned my head to focus on his eyes, wondering if he was fishing for a compliment. His face told me he was being serious. I thought about how he’d whispered my name right before his release, telling me he was cumming, feeling his body stiffen and his cock pulsating those few times deep within me.
“Yes, it's… Okay, it’s better, but don’t let that go to your head, mister!”
He moved his face to within millimeters of mine while taking my hand and guiding it to his manhood before saying, “This head?”
“Really?” I replied, rolling my eyes just before he kissed me.
I know I shuddered or quivered as the kiss progressed, or maybe it was realizing I had his warm cock in my hand and he wanted him inside of me again. I rolled onto him and got seated on top of him confidently. I was feeling pretty WOW! and much, much more at the moment... I looked down at my lover, bent to kiss him as he slowly slid his cock into...
Root CGD: Earth Day 539 in captivity, 11:32 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
The week had slipped by, and Garrett and I had established a fairly comfortable and pleasant routine with my second insertion to the exhibit. Our mornings typically began with sex, and in the evening we were doing that again, often twice. I justified those activities as being a part of the hosts mandate and expectations, so one or the other of us wouldn’t get hauled out of here! Liking what we were engaged in certainly did hurt matters and made those expectations easier to deal with – though in truth I didn’t really need to justify anything.
Besides doing what was expected of us caged specimens, what else was there to do really?! Talk? Walk the perimeter? Play cards? Cook, clean, do the laundry, and sleep?
Yeah, we did all those things too. I even gave playing cards a try, and no matter how hard I tried to concentrate or think strategy, I sucked at cards. Most nights I sat and watched Garrett play while talking with the other women when they weren’t conned into playing themselves. Liam and Beck were ruthless, and that kept the women from wanting to play unless begged. On the rare occasion, Garrett or Turpin would win, us girls would whoop it up for them.
It was stupid; we knew that, but we all got good laughs out of it, and it helped to pass the time.
We, Garrett and I, hadn’t actually talked a little about our dreams, ideas, individual likes, and whatever else happened to pop into our heads when we were sitting around chatting. We did a lot of sitting silently in each other's presence, not needing to say anything, taking comfort in the other just being there. That was one of the weirder twists to our budding relationship in the exhibit, I thought. It was like we’d become this old married couple, knowing each other well enough to anticipate a question, or that the other wanted something, or we’d finish each other’s sentences occasionally.
That’s odd, right? Okay, it was fun, but scary at times for me to feel that kind of connection and so early into being back in the exhibit.
When it came to sex, I appreciated that Garrett wasn’t like I’d been in his position, to insist on going on and on and on because longer meant more 'better'. I remembered thinking women wanted it that way and it was the only way to please a woman—to go longer or on and on. I was certainly a fool, and if I got all this reversed, this experience would absolutely make me a better lover in the future.
Reversal… I know I was spending less time thinking and talking about that with anyone. My first round in the exhibit housing, every other sentence I spoke was proclaiming I would 'reverse’ all of this because it seemed like the right thing proclaim. Now back for a second time, I’m not exactly sure why it wasn’t forefront on my mind, and that made me question my resolve. Was it my embracing being a woman or being with Garrett or both that had softened my leanings?
When we were in the throes of making love, Garrett’s focus was on making sure I got everything I needed. He wasn’t afraid to pull the trigger quickly if he hit some mark for himself or when I was giving him what he needed in the moment. Generally, if either of us wanted to ‘do it again,’ it seemed to happen organically, often due to some concentrated desire motivating one of us and that being contagious to the other and them happily wanting to oblige.
Him saying my name softly or urgently while we were... Yeah, that could make me agree to anything asked of me! He often used that to get a second run at us being entwined—pretty sure he knew I was a sucker for that and melted a little when he did. Saying my name just before he was climaxing never failed to amp up my own damn pleasures of feeling his release inside of me.
All in all, I liked being coupled with him, but I also worried about losing what we had. We all wanted to get out of here; the downside to that was it would probably bring on the end of us sooner than later.
He’d go back to Theraline, a planet I’d never been to, and pick up his life. He’d never mentioned if there was someone there waiting for him, so that gave me hope—yet that hope was in conflict with what I would do with my life after this place. Did I go back to my life too? Would he want me to stay with him? Would I want to stay with him? Did he have interest in joining me in freighting supplies to the various worlds out in deep space?
Probably something we’d discuss at some point.
Sex was a frequent topic of conversation with Syn, Zenia, and even Cekoo if she felt up to walking with us. I was asked and finally admitted I liked having sex with Garrett, though I’m sure they already knew or suspected as much. I talked a little more openly about how sex was different for me now, and they seemed to get it. Yet on the subject of those phantom memories I experienced, none of them could recall having any of that early on.
My little flashbacks weren’t happening as frequently now but did still happen. I know none of those had ever happened, but sometimes it did sort of click – just with Garrett and not some faceless man. I had thought about admitting it to Garrett one night as we lay there coming down from our collective sexual highs, but we’d gone at it again, and I had forgotten to mention it. What good would any of that do anyway? Would he be jealous? I wonder...
We were all getting pumped with stuff to keep us interested in sex, along with stuff to keep us fertile and whatever hormones we were ingesting to do whatever to us. I found it best for my sanity if I didn’t overthinking my current state of being and just lived in the moment. I was also enjoying those moments, which was tough to reconcile with the fact I was a zoo specimen and not really free to be my...
“There!”
My attention snapped to the task at hand! We, Syn and I, were studying the area. Cekoo had seen the generated landscape connecting to the sky dome of the exhibit gitching.
“Okay, I saw that... Did the rest of the projected landscape fade at all? Sure looked like it,” I stated.
“Maybe, but the ripple, the distortion between the two definitely wobbled for whatever reason. We should get Garrett out here to see what he thinks—wasn't he a satellite technician or something like that?” Syn asked.
“He was; maybe he’s got an idea of what might be playing with the signal. I’ll go get him.”
Five minutes later, we were a group of six watching an area of the sky where it blended in with the projected landscape on the walls because others were curious as to what we were doing. Thirty minutes bled into an hour, and by this point it was just Garrett and me standing there waiting for it to glitch again.
“Do you think it could be a power surge of some type? An instability we could pinpoint or exploit?”
He shrugged, “Likely, though I didn’t see it and I’m just guessing here. I’ll keep an eye out for it though, since this seems to be the spot where Cekoo first noticed it.”
“This is the only place she noticed it. It’s the furthest point from the stores port, and when I was in there with Jessie, there were all forms of machinery humming softly—could be a connection,” I stated.
“Question would be why there’d be instability and the connection to the fake environment our hosts are projecting for us. Be helpful to know what their power systems are based on—solar, water, steam, any number of crystalline chemical reactors, or whatever? Hard to say what’s going on; really need to see it happen, I guess.”
"Augh… I’m hungry. Wanna get lunch going?”
He was looking at me intently, and there was no mistaking the lust in his eyes.
"Really? Can we eat first?” I asked, giggling and embarrassed, that I might also be interested in an afternoon romp in our bed.
“In between?”
Such a kid! I took his hand, and we went to the house to feed our combined hungers.
Root CGD: Earth Day 542 in captivity, 4:18 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
We’d stayed out late because the card game ran long. Garrett had actually won the first two rounds but lost the next three because he’d drunk too much of the fermented green and yellow fruit juice Turpin had brewed. Drunk and barely manageable during the short walk home, I got him into bed, and he pawed at me for a few seconds before lying still. Sex was on his mind, but in his current state of drunkenness, it was easy to distract him, and thankfully, when I returned from brushing my teeth, he'd passed out.
That was three hours ago, and while it took nothing for me to fade away to sleep, I was up now with a stomach ache and a headache that radiated enough pain I swear I could make the perimeter walls and dome imagery above us glitch! I’d gotten up quietly, made it to the bathroom, and even tried to make myself throw up but couldn't. I couldn’t get comfortable no matter what I did, got dressed and made my way over to Zenia’s.
"Cam… Everything alright,” she whispered as she opened her door after I’d tapped lightly on it.
“Think I’m sick.”
She joined me on the porch, shutting the door quietly behind her, and then got me sitting. Next came a quick press of the back of her hand against my forehead, followed by her gently probing my neck area with her fingers.
“You throw up?" she asked.
“I tried, just dry heaves... I didn’t drink that crap Turpin made. My gut hurts... I'm like, do I have a kidney stone? Garrett said his sides hurt and he could barely move. I feel a little like...,” I stopped talking because I could tell she was looking at me funny even in the dim light the artificial night sky provided.
“Lay back,” she coaxed.
I did as requested, and she gently felt around my abdomen. I winced a few times as she poked and pressed. I was hoping there wouldn’t be any vaginal exploration done like the last time I’d been lying like this with her examining me.
When finished, she helped me sit up and said, “Good news, you’re not pregnant. Bad news: you get to be punished for that. Welcome to womanhood, sweetheart. I think you’ve started your period, Cam; that’s all this is, and you’re just cramping...
“Look, go home, and take as long a hot shower as you can, then dress loosely and be sure to wear your panties. They’ve got some absorption properties built in for containing a light to moderate flow. If you want to be safe, roll up a bunch of that paper they supply for the bathroom and lay that in the gusset area. If the pain gets too intense, I’d suggest drinking that stuff Turpin brews. It’ll dull what ail’s ya.”
Period? Ah, no no no... I hadn’t really thought much about that since she first brought it up, however, many days ago. Shit! What had she said about those phases?! I grimaced as a ‘cramp'-like pain radiated through my midriff mildly. I did remember something she’d said about Garrett’s ‘deposit’ being able to live within me for five days. When was it I would need to worry about being fertile? Augh…
::: --- :::
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Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: Earth Day 542 in captivity, 6:02 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I’d been in the shower for twenty minutes dealing with the cramping I felt radiating from my pelvis, and Zenia had been right—the heat from the water was helping.
What I was feeling now was certainly less intense than what had knocked me off my feet to start this journey and got me that first dose of female hormones back on my ship. And it was absolutely child’s play compared to being impaled by that alien in the stores port. If I bled, which I knew was part of the process for women being on their periods, I worried about reliving those moments in the stores port where my innards and blood were spilling out of me. I was stressing over that worry of seeing blood escaping my body, and it had me feeling woozy as I held myself steady in the shower.
“You alright?” Garrett asked, stepping into the shower behind me, wrapping his arms around me.
He’d startled me, and I’d stiffened instantly at his touch. His naked body against mine gave me something other than the cramping to focus on, though I really wasn’t in the mood to be touched.
“Not feeling so good,” I replied after a moment, patting his forearm around my waist.
“I could make you feel better,” he said, kissing my neck. “Wouldn’t take but a few minutes.”
There was a gentle rubbing of his hips and aroused manhood against my ass that followed his attempt at being cute. Augh… Not going to happen, buddy, as good as that might sound or possibly feel some other time—right now wasn’t that time.
“I think this is going... It, ah, might go on for a couple days, so... I’m going to need a little space.”
“Oh,” he replied, sounding like he’d figure out the issue pretty quickly based on my reply. “That’s oh… Yeah…" His hold on me became a little lighter, as if he thought he’d break me holding me as he had been when he initially entered the shower.
We stood there silently, his hands moving to my hips, not saying anything for a few minutes.
“Is there anything I can do?” he finally asked.
"No…," I was feeling awkward, and to drown that feeling, I stuck my head under the stream of water for a brief moment.
“I guess this means, you know, like there’s a real possibility you could... Aaa, get pregnant,” he whispered.
I hadn’t focused much on that idea until after I’d talked to Zenia earlier and got clued into these cramps being the start of my period. I had been ignoring the fact my transplanted vagina might actually be fully functional—like get pregnant functional—this whole past week. Why I hadn’t thought it would be functional kind of defeats the purpose of our host’s intentions for making that swap in the first place? It was kind of stupid of me for not giving it greater consideration.
Had the sex, amazing damn sex, been my only damn focus?!
I whispered, "Yes.”
Saying that out loud had me grabbing another round of awkward feelings, maybe some embarrassment for my predicament at the moment to lie on top of those feelings, confusions, and unknowns my body might be in store for.
“Are you okay with that?”
I wasn’t sure I could deal with being pregnant ever or the idea of a child growing inside of me or even being a mother to a child I could potentially birth—if I made it that far. If I did get pregnant and could successfully deliver, what then? Would I ever get my life back?
Would these hosts take our baby? Can I even make it to term if I do become pregnant? None of the other women had or they’d died during delivery—would that be my fate? What would happen to me if I made it that far? Would our hosts know I needed surgery to remove our baby?
Even if I could carry a child to term, there could be issues if my hips wouldn’t allow me the opportunity to deliver. Was that a death sentence for the baby? Shouldn’t I concentrate on not getting pregnant?
What did Garrett think about this?
I had too many questions and no real answers.
"I… I’m not sure,” I replied softly, trying to veil my fears.
Root CGD: Earth Day 546 in captivity, 10:52 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I’d made it through three rough days of cramping, feeling void of energy and lethargic, and according to Zenia, my ‘flow’ had been pretty light—aka, the shedding of my uterus’ lining wasn’t that big of an event in her opinion. I had absolutely freaked out seeing a good fingertip worth of blood-like discharge in my panties later that first day my period began, but I had been assured it was all normal and I wasn’t dying or going to bleed to death. In total, there were four instances of having to deal with that—all small amounts of discharge having been shed. Each instance was less unsettling than that first discovery, but no less concerning.
I wasn’t sure this was something I wanted to have to deal with on a monthly basis until I was old and shriveled up down there!
I’m sure Zenia and the other women thought I was being a hypochondriac, but I’d never experienced this before, and it was all new to me! They had years of experience dealing with this kind of natural occurrence and were old pro’s at it. I probably should have taken more comfort in it being just another aspect of being a woman and dealt with it more logically—rather than succumbing to fearing nearly every aspect of it, every pang of pain, and the emotional turmoil I’m sure I wore openly on my sleeves.
I’m certain I was moody with everyone and may have cried a few times alone for no damn reason. That wasn’t me! Who the hell am I even?!
I started feeling more myself after lunch today and had even walked the perimeter with Syn and Zenia after dinner tonight. Thankfully there wasn’t a bunch of talk about what I’d gone through, but Zenia did mention I was on the clock for producing an ‘egg’ and it would be released soon. She ended that reminder by adding the one about things living inside of me for up to five days after being deposited by Garrett. Augh… I didn’t need that reminder again!
“If you’re trying to time not getting pregnant, well, abstinence is the way to go,” Syn had said. “I’ve counted my days and have told Turpin he’d better pull out or I’d be pissed. I’m not ready to be pregnant again.”
“That works?” I asked, sounding sheepish.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it? Plus, we’re engaged in the act our hosts expect, which keeps us safely in this place. They don’t know we’re not trying to get pregnant,” Syn replied.
“We’ve all done it, but it will catch up to you eventually, so don’t think it’s a foolproof method for getting around getting pregnant. There are too many variables to manage, like when the egg is released, the amount of semen ejaculated, the time frame for when any of that is done, and the sperm viability and survival rate,” Zenia added.
It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate their insights, but everything they said just added to my stress about the possibility I could get pregnant. Oh, and it turns out stress was something that could gum up either Garrett or my own ability to conceive, according to Zenia. AUGH!
Garrett and I hadn’t talked much about the pregnancy aspect of our being coupled since I put him on notice, but we needed to at some point. He’d showered while I was out walking, and after I’d finished showering, there was a sweet kiss exchanged as I snuggled up next to him in bed.
“You look like you’re feeling better,” he said, hugging me a little tighter.
“I am… Thank you for, you know, understanding what I was going through and my being unsure of everything going on,” I replied and gave him a quick peck to confirm my appreciation.
Why does this feel right—him, me, together?
“We haven’t really talked about the idea that you could get pregnant... Have you given it any thought? How are you feeling about that possibility?”
How is it he knows what I’m thinking?!
“Some thought, but not like I’ve come to any conclusions. Truthfully, the idea scares me,” I said, looking into his eyes, not shying away from what could be an adverse reaction to that on his part.
He took a moment to organize his thoughts before asking, “Not because of me, right?”
“No, of course not... I’m, I wouldn’t want any of this if I wasn’t with, I mean, us being coupled... You know that, right?”
It felt comfortable, almost natural, to share that with him. That’s not typical for someone in my position, is it? I had this overwhelming want to share affection with him not grounded in sex. Was I losing it? Is that me?
“It’s not like we’ve got much choice, Cam...” he chuckled.
“We do, though... We can maintain appearances for our hosts, just either not finishing or pulling out or faking it,” I squeaked, all mousy-like and sounding very unsure of what I’d suggested.
I could feel his eyes studying me before he replied, “If that’s how you want to maintain appearances for our hosts, I’ll do it. I don’t think long-term that’s going to play well with them and not get their attention eventually.”
He sounded disappointed to me and had to turn his reply to reason by mentioning our hosts possibly seeing through us faking it.
“Are you okay with this change in your life for the foreseeable future? I mean, I know it’s a lot to deal with and all, like suddenly being a woman more completely, navigating everything, and this coupling stuff. I’m not sure how I wouldn’t have gone crazy if the roles were reversed, but... I don’t know; it seems like you are fighting it less,” he said, rubbing my arm tenderly afterwards.
I probably was fighting this change less, and the reasons for that varied. I knew I could get all of this reversed at some point and had doubled down on seeing what it was like to live as a woman for now—not that I had a lot of choices really. The sex was, well, it was incredible, and I oddly liked giving over control to him to have him lead. Not just in the bedroom, but on other things too, like navigating our way through being confined in this place together.
I thought we made a pretty good team and sensed he felt the same. It was a different dynamic to be wanted, as he seemed to want me, and comfortably confusing that I wanted him.
Being less in a ‘Captain’ role and not having to decide or control the outcome for those around me was interesting because for the past nine CGD years before coming to this place, I’d controlled every movement of my crew, ship, and my own life. Here, other than pushing for the women to be included in the ‘boys club’ planning sessions my second time back in the exhibit, I was content to let others lead. Why it was less of a focus for me now, I’m not sure, but I could live with it and kind of liked not having that responsibility.
Something new: I felt less guilt or shame about how I was interacting with Garrett. I liked him; I liked having sex with him, and if I’d been born a woman, he’d maybe be an ideal mate if our paths had ever crossed. He was handsome, funny, spoke well, sexy, interested in...
“Too broad a question?” He asked when I hadn’t said anything.
Shit!
“No, I just don’t have a good answer. I’ve put a lot of thinking about who I was on hold, but there are parts of that I can’t ignore. And as I am right now, possibly able to get pregnant, I’m afraid I can’t do it... Then there’s you...”
“Me?”
Augh! Not what I meant to say!
“What are we doing here, Garrett?”
“Being here for each other, supporting, caring about all that’s happening,” he replied, staring at me.
“Okay, yeah… I believe that too, sure. But, what do we do about after this place, like if we can escape or, by some miracle, we had a baby and I didn’t die during that process? What if they take our...” I couldn’t finish my sentence because I’d choked up and began crying softly.
He wrapped his arms around me tighter before saying, “We’ll deal with whatever comes, alright? I’m not going anywhere, nor would I want to, and neither are you.”
Root CGD: Earth Day 561 in captivity, 5:21 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
The light knock on our door woke us, and Garrett was quick to get up and answer it. I’d hung back at the entrance to our room with the sheets around me when he opened the door. There weren’t knocks on people’s doors generally early or late, so something must be wrong.
“They took Cekoo last night,” Beck said softly.
“Shit, first trimester already?” Garrett asked.
“Yeah, pretty sure that’s about now. I’m worried; they don’t usually keep them longer than a few hours, and I noticed her gone after midnight,” he replied, worried.
“She’ll be alright... Zen said she wasn’t having any difficulties and was feeling good. Maybe they’re just slow getting her checked out or doing whatever it is they do,” Garrett tried to assure him.
Whenever a woman was pulled from the exhibit, the assumption was it was for medical care concerning their pregnancy. Since no woman had ever successfully carried a child to term, according to those who preceded us, there was always a lot of stress associated with the women being pulled off here. The not knowing what was happening to them or their baby only added to the stress and dread.
Zenia could only do cursory exams when they were returned and had never noticed anything unusual having been done to the women, but certainly plenty could have been done she couldn’t spot. I had to believe that if they could transplant a woman’s reproductive system into my body, they had to have some understanding of how to treat a woman during these checkups or have some clue as to what they were doing. We women had had plenty of talks about that subject trying to figure that out and had come up with nothing worthy to hang any suspicions on.
Getting pulled for a checkup or observation was yet another stress added to being pregnant. Garrett and I had been in a full-on ‘fake it’ operation the past fifteen days, so our chances of getting pregnant were considered slim by my estimation. We’d keep this mode in play for a few more days, and it would only be a few more after that, and I’d be about to start my period.
Punishment for not being pregnant—I could deal with that, and I’d be less scared this time around.
Root CGD: Earth Day 562 in captivity, 8:30 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
When Liam went to check on Beck this morning, he wasn’t in his house, and after a rousing of the rest of us and a general search of the area, we still hadn’t found him. Cekoo had been gone for over thirty-four hours, and that added to everyone’s sense of dread. Beck gone now could only mean a few things: he’d been pulled and would be replaced, or Cekoo hadn’t made it, and Beck was in a holding pen being introduced to her replacement. The sober mood that had hung over the exhibit had a few of us women crying and our men trying to console us.
Over lunch, Liam made a case for trying to escape again, but the mood of those in the exhibit had kept that discussion from going anywhere. It was agreed we’d talk after Beck returned, with Cekoo hopefully. If he returned with another woman, we’d need to get her acclimated first before diving into any planning. I didn’t get the sense Liam liked our unwillingness to jump on the escape plan agenda.
Root CGD: Earth Day 564 in captivity, 3:34 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
Beck was returned to the exhibit with a new coupling, Vesal, just before noon. Vesal was scared, couldn’t stop crying no matter how much we tried to console her, and she had repeated too many times to count that she would not be participating in our hosts program. Beck had told us he’d tried to make her understand, but she wasn’t having it.
Beck wasn’t coping well with the loss of Cekoo and their baby, which got him some concentrated time with both Garrett and Turpin. I had no doubt some of Turpin’s home brew would be involved in talking him off any ledge. Zenia and I agreed to speak with Vesal, and that too might involve Turpin’s home-brewed alcohol at some point.
“We all started our stay here thinking the same thing—that we weren’t going to be part of their experiment or breeding program or whatever the fuck this is. I had a husband before coming here,” Zenia said quietly. “And I didn’t want this or ask for it, but I’ve seen them pull people out of here who don’t cooperate, and I’m positive those people were killed. I’m on my third coupling, I’ve lost three children, and I’m pregnant currently. I could be dead, so you need to consider your options are fairly limited.”
“I have kids already... Two of them,” she said through sobs. “I just want to go home.”
Vesal was barely holding herself together, and I touched her arm before speaking, “You’ll do what you need to do to survive so you can get back to your family, because they’re all that matters, you know that.”
She barely nodded her head to acknowledge that bit of truth. When she calmed down a little she asked direct questions that told us she was interested in our confirming the things Beck had told her, to confirm he wasn’t lying to her. After we confirmed the things he’d told her, she did end up swallowing a few sips from a mug containing Turpin’s brew, grimaced, and looked at me.
“This started out a little differently for me; I was actually born a male and had gotten hormones and female genitalia transplanted from the beings running this place. None of this was my choice, so I'm, well, I’m with you; we all are; we all want out of here. For now and the next however many days you need to just play along until we can figure out a plan for getting out of here.
“I’ve personally seen their brutality when they set out to eliminate one of us, it's... It’s not something you want to experience, believe me. We’re all here for one another, so know that you’ve got people who’ll listen or help you with all of this as best we can.”
It wasn’t lost on me; we were trying to calm her and give her hope, but we had no set plan for changing our current situation. When I looked over to Zenia, her face had me thinking we’d probably had the same thoughts, and Vesal’s hopelessness was really something we’d all experienced but set aside to make it through another day.
Root CGD: Earth Day 564 in captivity, 11:16 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I was still trying to catch my breath after what I would consider to have been a spirited session of sex. I’d decided I couldn’t take the frustration of ‘faking’ the completion of us having sex any longer. Based on my playfulness and aggressive enthusiasm to have Garrett inside of me, and not just for some momentary feel-good acting, he was only too happy to match my efforts, vigor, and desires. He’d absolutely given me a questioning look when we began, but my trying to suck his tongue from his mouth and coaxing with both hands his entry pretty much told him what I wanted and how far we were taking it tonight.
“How’d Beck seem tonight?” I asked after I felt I could speak and not sound like I was out of breath.
He chuckled, "Drunk, and that might have worried Vesal a bit seeing as this was their first night together. Not ideal for her, but we told her he was struggling, and she seemed okay with that explanation. We left him sleeping in the living room area, and I think she appreciated having that separation. I told her to just yell and we’d come running, though I doubt Beck’s going to give her much trouble tonight. He’ll be feeling it tomorrow. What do you think of her?”
“She didn’t say much, so I’m hopeful we get some details at the luncheon tomorrow. I’m not sure if she’s going to be up for this. She told us she had a husband and a couple kids, and her getting that out seemed really painful. I know she’s scared; I just hate... Well, that we’ve got no real hope to give her other than we’re all in the same boat,” I replied softly.
“We’ve got to keep hope alive, believe we can outlast being held, and survive all this...”
“Say we do that, then what?” I asked.
“Carry on after we get out of here.”
“What is it you see after this place, I mean, like in a perfect world?"
He shifted to look at me, propping himself up on an elbow, and placed a hand on my stomach before asking, “What would you want after getting out of here?”
"Phst… Freedom to go and come as I please, to be me without worry,” I began, but stopped when his brow rose.
“Tell me about ‘you without worry', what’s that look like exactly?”
“I don’t know. Back to freighting goods around the various galaxies and maybe relaxing or spending time on some of the nicer planets.”
“You have no concerns about running into other alien species?”
“No, only if I run into this species again.”
“So, you want to go back to your old life then?” he asked quietly.
“I want a life where I’m not a captive or specimen to be ogled... Isn’t that what you want?”
“Yes, but not alone.”
“Are you saying you’d miss me if we got out of here?” I asked softly, playfully, but felt something as soon as I’d said it.
He leaned in closer, kissed me, and when he pulled away, said, “Not if we were together.”
Root CGD: Earth Day 565 in captivity, 1:38 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
The luncheon for Vesal had been cut short due to Beck not feeling good after it started. He’d definitely drank himself blind on Turpin’s home brew. We all got it and understood he was hurting still, now physically along with emotionally, after losing Cekoo and their baby. While he might have left the event early, we did get to speak with Vesal and get a glimpse of her story.
She told us she was married to a troop/equipment transport pilot serving in the Planetary Guild. They’d been together for twelve years, and they had two children, both boys, ages six and eight years old. She’d been identified at an early age as having advanced mathematical skills and graduated from a prestigious school with a bio-chemical engineering degree, which she used in her assigned job with the Planetary Guild’s defense research division.
“That means explosive chemical compound creations?” Liam was quick to ask her after hearing about her schooling and job within the guild.
“I’ve done a little work in that area,” she’d replied.
That led to a conversation between the two of them, with the rest of us listening in quietly, about his ‘theoretical’ explosive device made from food scraps. He asked questions about how to make what he’d come up with more potent, and she confirmed what he’d constructed would have enough energy to effectively rip apart any biomass up to a radius of one and a half meters based on the size and dimensions he’d described.
“What’s your detonator?” She’d asked Liam.
“Primitive, a strike-patch...”
She shook her head. “So, the person deploying it isn’t expected to survive then?”
“I was thinking there’d be enough time to...” he didn’t get to finish before she was interrupting him.
“There would be no time. The SI on that is a billionth of a second to maybe up to ten times that amount of time,” she complained.
“I remember we got more time than that when we were improvising these kinds of devices in the corps,” he challenged.
“Then you were doing that with something other than a strike-patch. Why the improvised device in the first place?”
That became a longer conversation about trying to escape and fortunately ran out of energy after a few minutes. It was the third time I’d heard Liam’s plan, and it sounded more convoluted than the previous times I’d heard it. Syn had even given me a look during some of the plans description that told me she was thinking the same thing. His plan made no sense and I wished he’d smarten up about it. There was the problem that Vesal knew something about explosive compounds and all but called the device Liam had built a suicide bomb—yeah, his plan would get someone killed if we weren’t careful about letting him run off at that meteor.
When we’d finished cleaning up, the four women decided to walk the perimeter. The vibe I got was Vesal didn’t want to be alone with Beck just yet and I worried about her getting pulled from the exhibit.
“Is Liam the leader of this group?” Vesal asked after the first lap and a lull in our conversation.
“No, he’s just got the military experience and was co-leading with another military guy we lost a CGD year and a half ago,” Zenia replied.
“I’m not sure how to ask this, so... Well, are we assigned to a particular man and that’s it, or is there a choice we have in any of this ‘coupling’ stuff?”
Interesting question…
“They used to swap partners, but that ended a while ago,” I answered.
“I don’t want to do this, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to. Beck is… Well, I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but I’m really not like, I don’t want to be with him in any capacity, honestly. Pregnancy for me with my boys was rough—I mean really rough—and I’m not sure I can do that again,” she complained, though not as much as she had yesterday.
Syn and Zenia prodded her gently with the idea there was a grace period our hosts allowed for and that she should consider ‘looking’ the part of the couple but figure out with Beck how to come to a mutual agreement on ‘faking’ it for appearance sake.
Root CGD: Earth Day 576 in captivity, 9:59 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
“Good morning,” I said as I fell in beside Zenia, walking the perimeter with Syn and Vesal ahead of us by a few steps.
We’d begun doing this daily on the insistence of Vesal as part of a morning and after dinner routine just for the women. We had to contend with Turpin running in the mornings most days, but he paid us no mind as we talked and occasionally laughed our way around and around for about an hour. In the evening, when the men would become preoccupied with playing cards, it just made it nice for the girls to get away to clear our heads or complain or just talk without worrying about being judged.
"How are you feeling?” Zenia asked me quietly.
"Good… How about you?”
“Besides feeling pregnant? Guess I’m good enough,” was her reply.
“What kinds of things are developing now for the baby?”
Her answer seemed medically focused and could have probably been summed up by saying the baby’s major organs had been signaled to start developing. She talked about tissue layers being separated and determining specific types of organs, and those layers would determine location in the body and their functional area. Then there was the early spinal cord, spine itself, and nerves that started out as a neural tube and developed in one of those layers. The layer called 'mesoderm' would be where the heart formed its four chambers to pump blood, and the 'endoderm' was where the lungs, intestines, urinary, genital, liver, thyroid, and pancreas develop.
“How do you remember any of that stuff?” I asked.
“Repetition, I’ve been asked that question a few thousand times,” she giggled politely at my shock at her medical journal dumping of all that.
“How along do you think you are?” Syn asked from ahead of us.
“I’m guessing I’m four, probably five weeks. The next few weeks, my body will be doing some heavy lifting for the baby’s development. I tend to spend that time wanting to do nothing but sleep, so if I miss being out here, start without me,” Zenia told us.
We walked on in silence for a minute, and I noticed Zenia had slowed down; the gap between Syn and Vesal had grown to about three meters now.
“You sure you’re alright?” I asked concerned.
“I’m fine, but I’m more interested in how you’re feeling,” she replied.
“Great,” I answered, but it probably sounded like a question.
“You’re late,” she said quietly.
“That’s Garrett’s fault,” I smiled. “He has a thing for being in the shower and... Never mind,” I said, cringing a little as I was going to begin full-on girl talk about sex in the shower with Garrett for some unknown reason! AUGH!
“No, you weren’t late for the walk,” she chided with a raised brow. “You should have started your period last week.”
Huh? Nah… This week is when that was supposed to start, I thought.
“Pretty sure it should be any day, right?” I asked, with a little more worry than I intended to share in that ask.
There was a tiny head nod, ‘No’, as her answer. My heart sank, and I felt chilled. If anyone in the Exhibit House knew about dates, it was Zen...
“It could still happen, even as late as a week, so don’t freak out about it, alright? Your system may still be trying to figure out how to get on its schedule as part of recovering from the transplant. I’ve seen this plenty of times, late, not transplants,” she conceded.
All I could think was this couldn’t be happening and felt my stomach roil.
Root CGD: Earth Day 576 in captivity, 7:16 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I found myself again walking with Zenia a few meters behind Syn and Vesal after starting our evening walk.
“What did Garrett say?” Zen asked.
“I haven’t said anything. I feel normal; no weird urine smell or sore breasts or sick or tired feelings,” I rattled off what I remembered her telling me about possible signs of being pregnant quickly.
“Symptoms this early would be rare for only being six days late. If you’re going to hold off on telling Garrett, I don’t think that unreasonable,” she said, patting my shoulder.
“I think he knows something is up; I just said I wasn’t feeling good, and I think he assumes I’m beginning my period. We were careful; I’m serious, Zen. Not once did he, you know... Like ‘deposited’ anything,” I complained, keeping my voice low.
“Wouldn’t have to be full on deposit,” she said softly.
Root CGD: Earth Day 587 in captivity, 2:52 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I’d rolled over thinking Garrett had gotten up clumsily and shook the bed, but the bed thumped again a few seconds later, and that theory didn’t make sense to me in my current state of being barely awake. My lower back hurt and I tried to stretch, but I curled up quickly from the cold under the sheets. When had he gotten up?
I heard a quick chorus of sporadic clicking coming from above me, and when it faded to nothing, I sat up to look around. Something isn’t right... Garrett was gone, and I felt like I was hearing people whispering from somewhere out front. I grabbed the sheets, wrapped myself up, and headed that way.
When I got to our porch, everyone except Zenia was gathered, and I panicked.
“Did they take Zenia?” I asked, not hiding my fear while barking that question worried for her.
“No, she’s just not feeling good,” Liam answered as the ground beneath us seemed to shake ever so slightly.
“Planetary instability?” I asked, looking at Garrett.
“Don’t think so; Liam and Vesal think those are explosions...,” he began saying, and Liam picked up that line of thinking.
“Those are big, and their discharged energy is likely comparable to some of the Guild's heavier weapon systems, maybe thermo-magnetohydrodynamic in nature,” Liam said.
“We can’t discount weapons, but it could be mining-related," Vesal began, “Though the larger weapons used by the Guild are in the hydrodynamic realm. Whatever is thumping out there has nothing to do with any planetary instability in my opinion.”
“So, there’s some kind of attack going on?”
“No idea, but whatever that is, it’s gotten the full attention of those watching us. I haven’t heard a click out of them in about a minute, so that’s kind of odd with all of us standing around,” Garrett offered.
An hour more of softly shaking the ground the exhibit stood on continued at random until it became a guessing game as to whether something we felt was in fact real or us being hyperaware and guessing as to the ground having just moved beneath us. There was one instance of the lights and projected imagery on the walls / dome above us having been taking off line for a few minutes. We got a good look at the walkway above us that our hosts used to observe us from. The imagery was restored though, and thankfully there weren’t any of those beings around watching us.
Root CGD: Earth Day 589 in captivity, 10:09 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
The past two days were a first for anyone who’d been held captive here. We hadn’t been supplied any food, and our garbage had been piling up at the stores port. That we didn’t have an audience ‘clicking’ above us nearly around the clock me as uneasy as when they were full on watching us and clicking their interest in whatever it was we were doing.
No one else had heard any noises from our hosts since the possible attack. It was anyone’s guess as to what was up, but the running theory was these beings had been attacked or were at war, and their little breeding experiment had been shelved—temporarily. The fear was that could end up being a bigger problem if their absence went on longer.
We’d just finished inventorying what food we had left and were beginning to go over a plan on how to ration the food we still had when Liam looked to be ready to do his ‘in-charge’ posturing.
“How many days?” Liam asked.
“If we ration what we have to quarter amount per day, use the grains as fillers, a week to two at the most,” Zenia replied.
“Vesal and I want to try and construct a device to blow our way into the stores port. I’d like the other guys trying to figure out a way to go up, get to that platform area we saw when the imagery went down,” Liam stated as if giving orders.
When no one said anything, Vesal added, “It’s worth a shot, both ideas I think. We can talk about how to set off any device when we get to that point.”
I think everyone knew what she meant about setting of the device—someone might get hurt because we had limited supplies geared towards making a viable detonator than whatever a strike-patch was.
Something else that had come to light over the past two days to the group – my being sick to my stomach and throwing up a number of times. Everyone saw me feeling crappy, and I had told them what I’d told Garrett—my period had started.
The only one who knew differently was Zenia. She had probably been right about me being possibly pregnant, and what I was feeling now was nothing like when I’d gone through that first period experience. The stress I felt wasn’t helping my frequent bouts of puking or wanting to sleep or not be touched or the constant worry.
As the planning meeting was winding down, Zenia pulled me aside, “Stay hydrated, you hear me. We’ve stockpiled water, so if the plumbing in this place goes out, at least we can drink the crap they’ve synthesized. You need to eat or your baby is going to suffer. I know this isn’t what you wanted, and it’s not likely to be a pleasant journey in your mind, but you have a responsibility to limit any suffering to that child in you, alright?”
I nodded. I understood.
“Does Garrett know?”
“I was going to tell him tonight,” I whispered.
“Good, he’s a big boy and can share his rations with you. Look, this sickness stuff; it’ll wear off. As counterintuitive as it may sound, having those plain starches and water in your belly will get you over this hump quicker,” Zenia coached.
“Thank you,” I began, but stopped speaking as Garrett approached.
“Hey, I’m going to help them with the device. Give you a chance to rest,” he said.
I looked at Zenia, then back to Garrett, “Actually, I... I don’t like that idea. Can we talk for a second?”
So much for waiting for tonight...
::: --- :::
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Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: Earth Day 589 in captivity, 12:01 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
Garrett didn’t seem surprised by the news that I might be pregnant; guess he’d been with enough women in the exhibit to have a sense for it. After I’d stumbled to get that out, he was quick to wrap me in his arms, kiss me, and assure me everything was going to be alright.
What did I do with that caring and understanding he showed to me? Cried… Blubbering, stupid, uncontrollable, and ugly crying—that’s what I gave him in return. I even tried apologizing during the first fits of breaking down after having told him, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“Cam… Cam… Easy, alright, this is… Look at me,” he held me at arm’s length, trying to line our eyes up when all I wanted was to have my face buried in his chest. “I’m happy for us… We’ll get through this; we’ll figure out what we need to, and it’s all going to work out. Trust me…”
I wanted to trust him; I wanted to accept that he wasn’t concerned about having a child with me. I wanted him to want to be with me beyond this zoo-prison we were confined in…
A tap on my bedroom entryway had me opening my eyes and seeing Zenia.
“You alright?” she asked.
I’d been trying to quell my stomach for the past hour or so after having broken the news to Garrett, and I was pretty sure she’d been sent by him to check up on me.
“Yeah, better,” I replied.
“Care if I sit with you?”
“Please, come sit. Are you alright?” I asked, sitting up in bed, because she had an uneasy look on her face.
“Yeah, just really tired.”
“Here, lay back… Might as well get comfortable,” I coaxed, holding up the bedding as she took my suggestion to heart. “What’s going on out there?”
“Bomb makers arguing with each other and failed attempts by the rest of the guys to get up to the platform area around the perimeter.”
“Is Garrett with the climbing party?”
“Yeah, should have seen Beck standing on his shoulders and still being a good two meters from where they need to be,” she said, smiling as if it were a comical effort and not a serious one.
“I haven’t heard anything from our hosts, no clicking…”
“Me neither, and that’s a little odd, I think. I worry they’ll show up eventually, see all the activity going on in here, and act.”
“We don’t want them in here, I can promise you that,” I said, probably sounding worried. “At least we’ve got power, so whatever environmental systems are running this place are still functioning. Water is still flowing, last I checked.”
She nodded and then laid a forearm over her eyes.
“The food supply, that’s a problem… Oh, and the smell of the decaying garbage doesn’t help my stomach,” I added.
“Vesal and Liam are going to try to detonate a smaller version of his device in a few hours. I’m a bit worried about that,” Zen commented.
“I’m not sure something like that’s going to have the energy to do anything to the store's port opening. Something bio in nature, maybe, but that metal door, I think that’s a stretch to think it’ll do anything meaningful.”
“I heard them talking about that; not sure there’s much agreeing going on between those two. I’m purposely staying out of it to tell you the truth.”
We lay there quietly for a few minutes before I asked, “You ever think about getting out of here and what you’d do?”
“I do… We got so little to do in here, it’s hard not to think about getting out of here. It’s been over three CGD years for me; I really couldn’t blame my husband if he decided to move on. I can’t imagine him waiting; I’m not sure I would,” she said somberly. “So if we do get out, I’m not sure what I’d do or where I’d go.”
“Liam?”
“He’s not who I want to be with… I think he’ll be happy to get back to the corps and that military way of life with the Planetary Guild.”
“Garrett’s talked about us, well… Not breaking up what we’ve got going on here. I just don’t know how realistic that is.”
“How do you feel about that idea?”
“If you’d asked me that last week, I’d say I was on the fence, but if I’m pregnant…”
“You are… I’m fairly certain of it, Cam,” she said, removing her forearm to look at me to emphasize the point after interrupting me.
“Okay, well that kind of changes things, I think.”
“If we got out of here right now, like conveyed to some ship and taken to a Guild medical facility, you’d have choices as to what to do about the baby growing inside of you.”
“Like what?”
“Aborting the baby is one option. They could do a stasis birthing transfer of the baby from your body to finish its full gestation in a machine, but that’s a bit complex and incredibly expensive. Or you could decide somewhere along the way that Garrett is a viable option for you and the baby…”
“My life was a whole lot less complex before being brought here,” I complained.
“Yeah, life is like that,” she chuckled.
“I had a ship, a life; I was all over the damn galaxy, had responsibilities to my crew and business partners… I can’t say those things mean as much to me right now as they did before. Is that normal?”
“You’re normal, just the version of it that fit your life back then has changed because you’ve changed. You know I haven’t heard you complain about going back to the way you were in a while. You might want to focus on why that is or who’s changed your way of thinking…”
Root CGD: Earth Day 589 in captivity, 7:23 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
The explosive device was successfully triggered after three failed attempts. It was loud, made a mess of the area around the stores port, and did nothing but leave a charred mark on the port's door. The crate Liam and Vesal had used as part of holding the device in place had shot five meters from the port and landed across the courtyard.
Ringing in everyone’s ears was the worst of the damage done, and thankfully Vesal had come up with a way to make the strike patch not fire off instantly, like nanosecond instantly, so that Liam still had all his fingers—though arguably he had suffered major hearing loss because of the explosion and being so close to the detonation point. I’d argue it was a wasted effort, but they were positive they could adjust and concentrate the blast energy to come up with a better result in the morning.
I’d do a better job of blocking the noise the next time they thought to try and blow the port to shit.
Interestingly enough, still no ‘clicking’ or any indication our hosts were monitoring us. That was a good thing, though Liam and Vesal had a secondary device ready to set off if we’d gotten any host activity in the Exhibit Housing. Of course whomever set it off would likely have died in the process. In my book, this explosives mandate was a reckless endeavor that was bound to get someone hurt or worse, killed…
“Could you stand some company?”
I’d been standing in the shower for a while now, my fingers and toes showing their waterlogged wrinkles. I looked up and held out my hand to give him my answer.
“You feeling better?” Garrett asked as he wrapped his arms around me.
“A little, not as ‘puke’ focused as earlier. I ate some of that root, the starchy one, and it helped calm my stomach for now.”
“Good… I’m really happy to hear that.”
“Is the brain trust still working on the next explosive device?”
“They are… It gives them something to do, maybe some hope.”
“I think it’s pointless; not enough energy can be created from whatever scraps of food they’re playing with,” I complained.
“Their latest tactic is combining some of Turpin’s brew into the mix. Vesal thinks it’ll add the kick needed, and there was a piece of crate that broke off in the last one they set off, so they’re trying to incorporate that in a way to pierce the door. May work, may not.”
I reached behind me and got my hands on Garrett’s ass before saying, “Please keep away from that bomb stuff for me…”
“I’m not value added in the least, so no worries there. Beck, Turpin, and I created something to use for climbing, so we’ll see if we can get up on that platform above us tomorrow.”
I turned to face him. “Don’t be the one to lead that effort, please.”
He was watching me, had a whimsical look on his face, and that smile that did things to my insides.
“You sound worried…”
“I don’t like that it’s been quiet in here for a couple of days and our hosts are likely to return at some point; they have to, I would think. I don’t want you in their path or anywhere near them when that happens,” I whined.
“We can’t stay in here, Cam; the food will run out, and we need to make our own opportunities to get beyond this caged existence,” he said, hugging me, and then kissing me softly.
The kiss escalated to soft caresses of my breasts, a hand between our bodies, between my legs, and the fingering of my… I stiffened and moaned into his mouth as our tongues relayed those things neither of us could say out loud to one another; his finger became two, and my insides were melting… FUCK! That feels…
I was being turned slowly away from our embrace, his hands guiding mine to the wall of the shower, my legs being coaxed a half step wider, and… Ah! Oh, aaah! He was inside of me with so little effort, both hands holding my hips steady, a slow gliding out and back in my wet…
My mind a blur of sensations I could barely begin to process the pleasures, sparks firing, huffed heavy sighs, shivering muscles, and his grinding inside of… A gentle thumping of his hips into my ass after a slow retreat, a hand firmly on my left breast, his breath on my neck…
This was his favorite way to take me, in the shower together, slow, no hurry, whispering in my ear how good I made him feel… FUCK! He knew what he was doing to me, what he was bringing alive within me, my wanting this, him, all of…
Root CGD: Earth Day 593 in captivity, 3:55 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing Complex
Three days ago the men had breached the area where the walls of the Exhibit Housing met the domed ceiling. They’d done so with a rope made from a bed sheet and were able to finally get up and through the area we’d seen glitches in the displayed imagery on the domed sky. Getting the rope to hold—that had taken some time to perfect, but eventually Liam had been able to climb up the wall and crawl through to the platform.
He’d quickly set up one of the explosive devices he and Vesal had made and then assisted getting the rest of the men up and out of our sight from the floor of the exhibit. It was the longest, most stress-filled hour I’d ever endured waiting for them to come back and hoping they didn’t run into any of our hosts.
“Place is empty,” Garrett said to the group of us women waiting below.
“Any exits?” Vesal had called back to him.
“Couple potential exits, yes. We’re looking at some kind of control room; going to see if we can figure anything out. Anyone feel like having a look around?” he asked.
I did, and half climbed and was half pulled up and onto the platform by Garrett and Turpin. Syn and Vesal were also pulled up, with Zenia not feeling up to making the climb. The guys gave us the grand tour around the complex, explaining to us that the marks they’d made at each corridor we’d come to and how they pointed back to the rope we could use to climb back into the exhibit if we encountered our hosts.
“That’s our fallback position,” Liam had coached. “We rally in my house and prepare to hold them off with a couple of explosive devices. They’ll think twice about charging in…”
Thankfully, there was no ‘fallback’ that first day. I thought, but didn’t mention that since they could convey the women out of here, any ‘last stand’ we tried making in Liam’s house would be pointless. I wasn’t a military genius, and I didn’t want to lead anyway, so I kept my mouth shut. I wondered if I was the only one to have considered that.
On day two of our exploration, Garrett, with some help from Beck, had figured out how to shut down the exhibit's ceiling imagery along with the landscape projected on the walls. That breakthrough led to accidentally triggering the opening of not only the doors to the holding pens connected to the exhibit but also the stores port and a doorway big enough that something as large as a hover-lift for moving shipping crates could be driven into the exhibit. The other side of that large doorway appeared to be a loading dock area, with blast doors big enough for a midsized shuttle to be parked inside.
Would have been nice if there was a shuttle we’d all agreed.
Of course now we no longer had to climb to get out of the exhibit. I was thankful for that because I had struggled to climb up the rope that first time out of the exhibit, relying on Garrett and Turpin to help hoist me up and out pretty much. It made me feel a little helpless, but I chalked it up to all the changes I’d gone through.
Today revealed a few new discoveries, all due to Garrett and Beck not giving up on hacking into a couple of different control panels and changing the modulation of a specific set of colored light pulsing wires.
The first new room discovery appeared medical in nature. Zenia and I were given the task to see what we could figure out by Liam. Annoying to be ordered around, but now that we had plenty to explore, Liam had ramped up his ‘I’m in command’ mode and was giving out lots of orders to the rest of us.
“I’ve never seen instruments like these,” Zenia whispered. “This could be a probe, or maybe,” she turned the item around in her hand, looking for how to power it on. “A precision scalpel of some type… See this lens? Could be similar to a micro-dermis-laser blade tip used in surgeries; it’d easily cut bone.”
We’d both been operating like that, speaking softly our curiosity with what we’d been finding, all while trying to not make any noises while moving freely around the complex in pairs. Everyone worked in pairs—per Liam’s orders. And, of course, we were constantly looking over our shoulders for danger – at least I was. Every noise I heard made me skittish, and I kept hoping we’d get some warning if our hosts decided to return.
Clicking, or as I’d heard in the stores port—angry teeth grinding.
“You think we can weaponize anything?”
“Doubtful, at least anything that might have range since they have limbs that can reach out from their bodies by a couple of meters—that’s what you said you saw, right?” she asked.
“At least two meters, I’m sure at least that far. Whether it could pick someone up like they had Jessie from that extreme range is questionable. But that host had impaled me with ease from that distance,” I replied, watching her look at instruments and then moving on to opening various small boxes on a back wall of the room.
She looked from the one bed-like table in the center of the room, up to what looked like lighting, and then around the room before asking, “They didn’t convey us directly into this room; that happened elsewhere, and we were brought in here for whatever it was they do to us.”
“I think you’re right; nothing looks like a Particle Conveyor for transporting in this room,” I confirmed.
“Could have been a portable unit, but I doubt that,” she added.
“I haven’t seen anything like that yet, something that might be a portable conveyor, in any of the rooms we’ve been in. There are a few rooms we haven’t been able to get into yet, so maybe that’s where they ported us to from the exhibit and wheeled us in here.”
“Maybe… Small things like that don’t add up, though—the lack of thought or inefficiency. They’re technologically advanced, certainly, but not to the degree I’d have expected.”
I heard a soft tapping behind me and turned around slowly, happy to find Garrett and Beck standing there.
“Hey, didn’t want to startle you two… We got access to another of the rooms we hadn’t been in yet,” he said, smiling.
“What did you find?” Zenia asked.
“Enough grain to keep us fed for at least a month, longer if we ration,” he replied.
“Anything else?” I asked.
He was slow to answer and had a concerned look on his face.
“Got two probable blast shield windows open… It looks like this complex is nestled in some rocky canyon of some sort.”
“Can we see?” I asked excitedly.
“This way, ladies,” Beck said with some cheer in his voice than the concern Garrett seemed to have about it.
At the two, two-meter-square windows that were next to a large port doorway, we got our first glimpse of the planet we were on. As Garrett had said, it appeared we were in some kind of rocky canyon, but there was more. Winds and dust were swirling constantly out there, and everything looked brown, dead, and lifeless. There were no signs of vegetation or water or…
“What the fuck!” Zenia said, jumping back from the window as I screamed and recoiled at seeing a large creature of some kind stroll by the windows, not even bothering to look inside.
It was six, maybe seven, meters in length, with matted hair, muscular limbs equipped with deadly-looking claws, and a mouth containing multiple rows of scraggly teeth.
I looked at Garrett annoyed and complained, “Might have been nice to get a warning!”
“They don’t come around often; sorry about that. I should have mentioned it. Of the ones I’ve seen, that’s a small one,” Garrett added.
We could hear people running down the hallway to our right, Liam and Turpin.
“Everyone alright?” Liam asked.
“Yeah, the girls just got a look at one of our friends outside,” Garrett said, nodding towards the window.
“Okay, good… Yeah, we’re not alone out there; in here we’re relatively safe for the time being. I don’t want anyone venturing outside the complex,” he said, turning to go back to whatever he’d been doing before hearing me scream.
I shook my head in agreement. “I can live with that directive…”
Root CGD: Earth Day 593 in captivity, 9:20 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing Complex
“How are you feeling?”
“I feel better when I’ve got something bland in my stomach,” I replied, snuggling into a more spoon-like position with Garrett. “A little mind blown at the idea I’m actually about thirty CGD days pregnant, according to Zenia, if I’m being honest. I thought we’d done a good job of keeping that from happening while making it appear we were playing along with our host's wishes.”
Garrett moved his hand over my belly, and I could sense… The hand was his, but I was seeing someone else’s hand. I could see a small V-shaped scar on it, dark hair on the forearm, my head turning towards the face lying behind me, the dark brown mustache… My taking Garrett’s hand, like I’d taken the man’s from that vision, pulling it to my lips to kiss it. It had been weeks since I’d had a vision, a remembrance, like this. This man was caressing my belly like Garrett had, like he knew I was with child, happy to be lying there with me.
I heard the words being spoken from behind me in my head, ‘I love you…’ and shuddered.
“What?” I asked Garrett.
“I didn’t say anything… You alright?” he asked softly.
“I’m… I don’t know, it’s… It’s nothing,” I stammered.
“So if it’s nothing, tell me…”
“I can’t explain it; I have these…”
“Memories?” he asked.
I spun in his arms to look at him questioningly.
“How did you know that?”
“It’s a thing most of the guys in here have or put up with,” he replied as a matter of fact.
“Wait, all the guys have this? Like what? What are you seeing?” I asked, but I’m sure it sounded like I was complaining he wasn’t answering my questions fast enough or I was desperate for some insight.
“Not every guy, like Liam, hasn’t had them, but Beck, Turpin, and Mike—I think Jessie mentioned it, same with a few others who’ve come and gone…”
“What? Really? What is it you’re seeing?”
“Pre-coupling, in the holding pen, I saw you, sort of…”
“What do you mean ‘sort of’?”
“I saw you that first time in the pen as you were today, not… Well, not pre-transplant.”
“No, no, no… How is that even possible? That can’t be…”
“I don’t know, but I saw you, saw us together, and just as you are now, right here in my arms. I saw you…”
I was studying his face, waiting for the words ‘Just kidding’ to be spoken, but it wasn’t coming as he just stared back at me waiting for me to speak.
“How is it I’m seeing…,” I stopped speaking because he scrunched his brow as if to get me to think that question out a little more. It clicked, “But, I’m not really male any longer…”
“You are though, biologically speaking at some level…”
I set my head on his chest, not wanting to look at him, embarrassed yet again for how messed up my reality was, not just to me, but for him to probably. How long ago was I really myself and not this version? Years maybe?
I felt his lips on my forehead, “So, you saw us together?”
Fuck! No, whoever this guy was, it wasn’t you, damn it! I wished it was, but it wasn’t.
“Cam?” he whispered.
“I don’t think so…”
“Oh, okay, that’s interesting. Any idea who the guy is?”
“I’m not sure… I’ve seen his brown hair and mustache, and he’s got a decent build I guess.”
“And you’ve been intimate with him or saw that happening?”
“I think you know the answer to that,” I complained not wanting to say anymore or admit that out loud. I certainly wasn’t going to tell him the guy had said he loved me just a few seconds ago.
“Nothing else?”
“I never saw his face,” I whispered.
“Short, tall, long hair, big feet?” he said with a chuckle.
“Really, big feet? Like your solar pontoons,” I giggled uncomfortably. “None of that, at least that I can recall…”
“Guess I’ve got some competition,” he replied hugging me a little tighter.
“Get out of here! You’re not some prize to be won,” I stated.
“Not a prize?” he said with mock indignation.
“Okay, okay, you’re a prize and I’m lucky to have you,” I said while hugging him tighter again.
“Better…”
I didn’t like this vision crap or false memory stuff – it was confusing and if I were to believe what Garrett had said about seeing me, the future configured me in his visions; I didn’t want to think that someone was going to come along and replace him. I had feelings for Garrett, I just wasn’t sure I could speak about that to him right now.
Why couldn’t you have had brown hair and a scar on your hand?
Root CGD: Earth Day 600 in captivity, 11:48 AM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing Complex
Four days ago we were able to breach one of the three remaining areas of the complex we hadn’t been able to access. We’d celebrated the victory, but had crashed hard after Zenia realized the small tubular devices contained in racks within a cabinet were the liquefied remains of those people who’d been held captive in this zoo. Her hypothesis came to fruition after examining the tubes and mistakenly sliding one of them over an interface within one of the table tops produced holographic details about the deceased member from the exhibit.
The holograms displayed full sized versions of the person, with the ability to get a look within their bodies down to the molecular level Zenia thought. She wasn’t sure about many of the controls for the device, but was able to poke around enough to zoom in and out. This room was a lab she declared, I didn’t need convincing after the demo of the tubes via the table top. It bothered us all that we couldn’t decipher or understanding any of the alien text or clicking audio that accompanied the holograms.
Seeing a few of the people we knew, torn at everyone’s hearts. We all had ties to each of those persons now encased in these tubes and it confirmed they’d either been killed by our host or die during child birth or some other means. In my current state of being pregnant and with hormones raging out of control I had cried myself to the point of becoming physically ill and Garrett had ended up carrying me back to the Exhibit Housing and our bed. I hadn’t thought this place could bring me any lower or crush what little of my spirit remained, but it had.
I remained in our house, in bed for the most part, and for a full day. I did not want to eat or wanting to talk with anyone or be touched, and for the first time in my life I’d seriously consider doing harm to myself to end this nightmare I found myself trapped in. I felt as though I wasn’t going to make it out of here at this rate without hope. Hope no one else from within our group of eight would end up in one of those little tubes.
“You need to eat, at a minimum drink something,” Zenia said carefully after waking me. “Feelings of disillusionment or even detachment are not good right now for you or the baby in these first couple months. Granted we’re talking a small little seed within you, but it needs all of your bodies efforts to help it grow, and not just through sustenance.”
“I don’t think I can do this…”
“Of course you can, that’s what mothers do and believe me you’re going to be a bitch of a mother to deal with when that child is born and someone tries to fuck with it,” she said in a tone that said she was being serious and done taking my attitude at the moment.
“I… I’m not cut out for this Zenia… I’m not a mom or woman or have the first clue of what I’m doing with…,” I stopped speaking as the tears welled in my eyes.
“Do this for me, for you and the baby, hold onto one thing at a time. Start with Garrett and your baby, you family. Then imagine your life after the baby is born and we’re out of here. They will get you through this, I promise. You can’t sit there and tell me you don’t love the man,” she said sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing my shoulder gently.
I lost it and she was holding me tight while I let everything flow out from me, not caring what that meant to anyone who happened to hear me crying.
Forty minutes later Zenia had me up, dressed, hair combed, and walking the myriad of corridors and hallways within the exhibits complex. She purposely routed us around the lab, and we ended up in what was being called a control room. This room had recently breached by Vesal and Garrett, and when we walked in on them they were arguing about some block of circuitry, but stopped when they saw us.
“Hey, good to see you up and about,” Garrett said and came over to hug me.
“Zen’s doing… I needed a moment, but I’m good now,” I said in his ear so that only he could hear me. “I’m really sorry…”
He whispered back, “Don’t worry about it, I’m happy to see my girl.”
“What are we trying to figure out?” I asked Vesal after we’d stopped hugging and I needed something to distract me from getting emotional about what he’d just said about me being his girl.
“I think the marking on this set of circuits correlated to the one room we haven’t been able to get into,” she replied.
“I think I’ve seen these same markings at the blast doors, the one you saw that creature walk by,” Garrett said, ushering me over to the actual panel they were both talking about to get a closer look.
“You’ve got wires splayed, is the idea to electrically polarize them to trigger the door you think they belong too?”
“Yup, it’s how we’ve gotten into several rooms thus far,” Garrett replied looking over at Vesal.
“Yes, that’s the plan, but we’ve done that at each of the doors panels, and our blast door and the one room we haven’t gotten into don’t have individual panels by those doors. That makes me believe security protocols are place for those doors and means they’re controlled from here,” Vesal explained.
“Can I see the room and blast door again?”
“Absolutely, the more input the better,” Vesal said, leading me out of the control room.
I looked behind me and noticed Zenia talking to Garrett. I hoped she wasn’t saying anything to him that might worry him any more about me.
Root CGD: Earth Day 600 in captivity, 12:31 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing Complex
“I don’t think these wires are related to the blast door, I think there’s an override panel or control mechanism someplace for that door. I’m with Vesal, this could be how we get into that last room,” I said to the gathered group of seven of us.
“We can quickly close it off if it’s the blast door, right?” Liam asked.
“Yes, we’ve perfected that operation with all the others we’ve opened,” Garrett and Beck sang out in unison.
Discussion followed for a few minutes, but Liam was ready to make a ruling.
“Turpin and I will set up devices on both sides of the blast door, so if this does control them and we can’t get it closed in time, we’ve got something to dissuade those creatures out there from walking on in. The new strike-patch we’ve come up with has about a five second delay, so we’ll be ready for that. Let us get in place, set up, and we’ll signal we’re ready,” Liam directed.
Eight minutes later we could hear Liam shouting they were ready, Vesal crossed the wires, and the door to the last room within the complex was opening before us. Thankfully the big blast door remained shut and we were still shut off from the barren world and dangers outside those doors.
At the door we’d gotten open we gathered and watched as Liam happily went around touching everything like an excited little kid after joining us from a few corridors over where the blast door was.
“This changes everything, I mean seriously,” he’d said holding a thin puck like disc in his hand.
We watched him point it down a corridor, press something on its side, and watched a small white ray of energy shoot out and nearly vaporized a meters tall metal box Liam had set up ten meters from us. The room contained a cache of four small disc weapons, possibly a weapon similar to a pulsed plasma rifle or more likely the same energy shot from it as the disc, and a dozen hand sized ball devices both Liam and Vesal had said were some form of explosive device they couldn’t begin to guess what their energy output or a blast radius might be.
If our hosts came back or we made an attempt to escape this place, they would learn quickly we had bite.
While Liam my have been dancing around because of the weaponry, I was feeling better about the room containing a Particle Conveyor in the other half of it. This is how our hosts moved us in and out of the Exhibit Housing. If we controlled that – other than from a ship outside this place or a portable unit they drug in here with them - we weren’t going anywhere without our consent.
This was hope, we now had tools we could use to strengthen the possibility we could escape this place. I felt a lot better than I had an hour ago and put a hand over my stomach. I’m not sure why, but doing that calmed me, gave me a moment of peace. When I looked around the room I caught a look from Zenia about having placed my hand on my stomach, along with her little smile…
Root CGD: Earth Day 619 in captivity, 8:31 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing Complex
The past three weeks we’d settled into a routine that included guard shifts in the control room and at the blast doors. Two couples were on shift at a time for twelve hours. The two not on shifts got to rest / sleep / eat and generally be bored. It wasn’t militant like duty unless Liam made it that way – which he did most times since Garrett and I were paired with him and Zenia for a twelve hour shift. I think even Zenia got annoyed with his trying to parade us around like his precious Planetary Guild Corps commander might.
Weapons were issued to each of the men, along with one of the four explosive devices. When I’d asked what we women got to join in the fight I was made to feel as though we’d only be capable of throwing harsh words at our hosts. Garrett saw the annoyance and was good about letting me at least carry the explosive device around and a knife he’d fashioned from some metal and tools.
I’d told him I wasn’t going down without a fight.
“This?”
“Yeah, if this cluster is dish connected, then that should be the input capture lines,” I replied.
“How’d you come up with that? I don’t… Okay, wait maybe I see it now, damn! How’d we miss that,” Garrett said after nudging me because I had my ‘I know what I’m looking at’ face on.
“My ship, old as she may be has a system that looks a lot like how this is wired, that’s how.”
We were on our guard duty shift in the armory room and during the switch between Vesal / Beck and us we’d talked about this blank panel on a wall near the Particle Conveyor possibly being a sat-link communications hub. That guess got us the ‘assignment’ of figuring out how to make it work and get us communicating with the outside world any way we can. Okay, so we hadn’t been ‘assigned’ it was more ‘ordered’ by General Liam.
Luckily we’d figured out how to make the panel to do more than sit there and blink at us. We’d tweaked several cabling combinations and could get it to randomly blink various patterns – which we thought might be signal location designators. We also got to hear a familiar sound coming from the panel – lots and lots of clicking. That made my heart sink the first time we’d gotten the panel to produce sound. At least the noise wasn’t that angry teeth grinding.
“Got that blade?” I asked.
I watched Garrett look for the tiny blade I’d used to cut into and reroute the optic signals on a couple wires, getting up, looking beside me, and saying, “No, it’s not here… Is it in the panel someplace?”
I felt around inside the panel, cranked my neck oddly left and right to see within the panel. No blade, it was gone. I slid out from under the panel casing and as I stood saw the blade where I was sure I’d set it. I looked at Garrett, he saw it, and began complaining he hadn’t missed it and claiming it might have been under me.
I looked around uneasy, “Something isn’t right…”
I walked over to the explosive device and picked it up, that made Garrett pull the disc from his pocket and give me a questioning look as he pointed it towards the panel we’d just been fiddling with.
“Someone conveyed that blade away and then back,” I whispered, nodding to where the blade was just a moment ago and we were seeing it was now gone again.
“Fuck,” he growled and began moving towards the door to the control room, ushering me that direction behind him with his arm. He was aiming the disc in the general area of the panel and whispered, “Let’s fall back to the blast doors with Liam and Zenia, we can figure out warning the others or falling back to the houses.”
We didn’t have any communication ability with the others, so falling back to Liam and Zenia, and then back to the housing area was probably a good idea, but something wasn’t right. If someone was conveying that blade back and forth – did they really mean us harm? I put a hand on Garrett’s shoulder.
“You go get Liam and Zenia, bring them here,” I said softly.
“What? No, that’s not happening,” he complained louder than I’d hoped.
“If they’d meant us harm, we’d have been pulled out of here or our weapons would have been taken. Something is off here… I’ll stay outside the door, you go get them now.”
There was reluctance on his part, but he left me at the control room entrance, running in the direction of Liam and Zenia’s position. No sooner had he left than the blade was gone, then put back. I’ve seen this before, I’ve done…
Movement inside the room to the left and a body was being conveyed into the room! I had gripped the explosive device in my hand tighter, finger over the button we believed could be used to set the device off. A woman appeared, the face familiar, I... I know her!
“Captain?” the woman asked questioning whether she recognized a fragment of the person standing across the room from her.
::: --- :::
Don't be afraid to click the "Kudos" (Thumbs Up) icon for this story if it's done anything for you. If you comment, I will reply, so let’s chat or not or whatever floats your noodle.
If there are problems or you have criticisms you'd like to share privately, feel free to message me on the site (you’ll need an account) or via email ([email protected]) - I'd love to address them if I can and have fixed many an “Oops!” after posting a story (Thanks to All for those assists – much appreciated).
I'm still growing as a storyteller; I'm far from perfect, so any help is much appreciated and valued. Thanks for reading...
Rachel M. Moore
WARNING: The true nature of the Exhibit Housing is revealed in this chapter and it might be a bit disturbing to read. I can assure you the contents of this chapter do not dwell on that disclosure much and are only included to explain the 'why' humans were being held - which in the scope of the story is necessary. I tried very hard to not make this uglier than necessary. Can you skip this chapter and pick up knowing what's going on in the next one and not miss much? Eh, maybe, maybe not. There are pieces of the puzzle in every chapter and why they were held is a piece that gives their captivity scope - it isn't the story though. Please consider this warning as I do not EVER want to purposely cause anyone distress while trying to entertain. Thank you - Rachel M. Moore
::: --- :::
Root CGD: Earth Day 619 in captivity, 8:44 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing Complex
I wasn’t sure how to feel about seeing Cheryl or her reaction to how I must appear to her. I wanted to rush over to her, hug her, thank her, cry, and ask her how it was she’d even…
“Dee, confirm the sensor reading on Ferris,” Cheryl asked.
“I’ve got Captain Ferris right there with you; is there an issue?” Her question rang out clear as if she were standing here with us through the standard wrist communication device on Cheryl’s arm.
“No, just confirming… You locked on Dee?” Cheryl asked.
“Yes, locked on you both…”
“Convey, now,” Cheryl said calmly, appearing to keep any emotions out of being in charge of the situation.
“Belay that order!” I shouted, taking a step into the room, but noticing as I did that Cheryl leveled her weapon at me. Either she’d noticed the explosive device in my hand or still didn’t trust I was who she’d known going on seven CGD years.
“What’s happening down there? Who’s that woman, Cheryl?” Dee asked.
“Captain Ferris, I think. Standby,” Cheryl replied.
“It is me, just… I know what this looks like, but I know what you were doing just now. The blade you were conveying, I did something like that to you once in your quarters with your hairbrush,” I stated, trying to prove I was who she thought I was and confirm the ship's sensors were correct. “I conveyed your brush from one side of your sink to the other just to mess with you, right? You remembered that and just did that to get my attention so I’d figure out a way to be alone before you conveyed down here to get me out of here. Our ship, the Barrow Gar, she’s in orbit above us, right? And it sounds like Dee’s at the helm?”
Cheryl nodded a couple of times, still pointing her weapon at me.
I slowly squatted, set the explosive I’d been holding and my rudimentary knife down, and then stood, taking another step towards her.
“Mind lowering your weapon?” I asked softly.
She was about to do that when behind me Liam, Garrett, and Zenia appeared quietly in the doorway—their weapons pointed in Cheryl’s direction caused her to raise hers while she moved for cover behind a table in the room.
“STOP!! Everyone lower your damn weapons!” I screamed. No one moved, so I yelled the order again, “NOW! Liam, Garrett! I know this woman; she’s the first officer from my ship!”
I had both arms extended out towards the two parties in this standoff and was looking back and forth between them, hoping no one decided to pull their trigger, especially since I was in the middle of them and likely to get blasted first. Silence hung heavy in the air, but the tension was thick enough to likely cloud everyone’s resolve if anyone moved in a threatening manner.
“Cam, is this Cheryl?” Garrett asked.
“Yes, my first officer, Cheryl Palomino. I told you about her. Tell her something I told you about her,” I requested.
“Ah, like what?” Garrett asked, but I gave him a pained look that said to just say something meaningful. “Oh, I know, the, ah, the time she saved you in that cantina on Emery Prime, that story?” he asked.
There was a laughter coming from the communicator on Cheryl’s wrist; Dee was laughing and said, “We were always saving his ass. Cheryl, do you need me to even the odds down there?”
That could be accomplished in a number of ways. Convey the threats from here to someplace else in the complex or even outside or send armed crewmembers down. Fuck!
“No, we’re not escalating this,” I said as calmly as I could.
“Until I really know who you are, lady, I’m not listening to anyone but my first officer,” the tiny speaker announced across the room from me.
I watch Cheryl stand up and holster her weapon before saying to those behind me, “Your turn…”
I turned to Liam and Garrett. “Put your weapons away; she’s here to get us out of here…”
Root CGD: Earth Day 619 in captivity, 9:15 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing Complex
“That’s basically the story, one big zoo facility; that’s what this place is,” I told Cheryl, with Dee and the rest of my ship’s crew listening in from orbit above us.
Everyone from the Exhibit Housing had joined us by this time in the armory, and the questions were flying faster than Cheryl could answer them. What’s the date? Where are we? Are you really here to get us out of here?
She gave up and looked to me, “Orders, Captain?”
Now everyone was silently looking at me. I was being thrust back into a role I didn’t feel comfortable sliding back into and had no interest in assuming so quickly after being away from it for so long.
“Dee,” I asked.
“Captain,” was the reply from a second wrist communicator Cheryl had given me and now on my arm.
“Any other ships out there?”
“The Guild light cruiser and a few support ships. They’re trying to figure out dealing with pockets of resistance and are in mop-up mode; they have been for a couple of weeks. Nothing in this sector, though, sir,” was her reply.
Made sense; the bombing we’d felt a few weeks ago had to be the Guild attacking military targets on this planet. Thankfully, this place was either missed or not interesting enough for them to drop some ordinance on with us in it.
What did we need to gather up to get out of here? Was there anything? Wait, do we take the remains of those who’d been reduced to liquid in those tubes? Probably…
And what did we do with this place? The Barrow Gar had no weapon systems. Could we plead our case with the Guild and have them vaporize this facility? Did we still have that one Argonic torpedo hidden in the hold we’d salvaged after the conflict on Wetz during the rebuilding of that planet and their civil war? Could Vesal and Liam figure out a way to detonate the torpedo remotely?
“No weapon systems on your ship?” Liam asked, guessing where my train of thought was trying to get to from his military-slanted brain.
“It’s a freighter; we don’t do battles,” I replied, looking at Cheryl, who nodded her head; she knew what I was thinking without having to ask it out loud. Her nod told me we still had the torpedo somewhere in the auxiliary hold, so that was an option to wipe this place out.
I looked at those gathered; okay, priority one—we get out of here. Then figure out wiring that torpedo and send it down here to level this place for good.
“Dee,” I began saying.
“Captain…”
“Lock on the group and convey them out of here. I’ve got something to organize and will convey it up in a couple of minutes with Cheryl,” was my order.
“Aye, Captain…”
I watched as everyone from the Exhibit Housing was conveyed from the armory, and only Cheryl and I remained.
“You alright?”
“You’re not exactly how I pictured finding you, Cameron,” Cheryl replied.
“Yeah, well, my journey did take a few unexpected turns after that hormone injection.”
“There’s no chance one injection did all of this,” she said, waving a hand lazily in my direction.
“That’s true… We think they’ve been pumping us with stuff to enhance their breeding program.”
“That’s insanity,” she complained.
“Tell me about it. Look, let’s get out of here, and we can talk all about this new version of me. I’d like those tubes over there,” I pointed towards the cabinet behind her, “Brought aboard.”
“What’s in them?”
“Friends of mine…”
Root CGD: 4039.72
CinT Ark Loc: Z8RBF.37.T (estimated position - uncharted Guild-controlled space)
The reunion on the ship was chaotic and confusing for the women of my crew who knew me before having been abducted. I could see it on their faces, them trying to get their heads around me looking very much like a woman, sounding different, and certainly acting differently. Gone was the cocky young man with quick wit looking for any opportunity to prank someone. He’d been replaced by a woman how didn’t look very sure of herself, looked uncomfortable in her own skin, and looked to be trying to remember how to lead.
The new male crew members Cheryl had hired were a bit leery about having to answer to a new captain, a woman who’d once been a man. I was sure it was going to pose a problem later on down the line, even though they’d been functioning under Cheryl’s leadership for a couple of years. I’d meet with the entire crew later, try to level set my expectations as their captain and majority owner of the Barrow Gar. If needed, give them an out from their contracts to work on my ship at the next space station or wherever it was we were heading next if they wanted out or weren’t interested in working for me.
Everyone from the exhibit housing was dealing with their own form of shock once safely on the ship. In shock we were off that planet, in shock we were no longer prisoners, and confused as to what was going to happen to them next. What was difficult for me, besides experiencing everything they were feeling, was that they were now looking to me for answers and to lead—though I’d not been that person back in the Exhibit Housing. I was happy to let the men, Liam, Mike, or whomever, call the shots, but now I was that person needing to step up.
We’d all thought about what it would be like to get out of that place, what might come next, but with as bleak as our existence in the Exhibit Housing had been, I don’t think anyone thought today would ever come and certainly not like this. We went from zoo animals with dangerous hosts to fending for ourselves and facing a finite amount of food to sustain life that, through rationing, might have lasted two CGD months. Full recovery from our experience to being in control of each of our own lives again would take time, lots of time, and I mentioned that to everyone after being brought up from the planet’s surface with those tubes and Cheryl.
“We’re safe, for now,” I’d told them. “Everyone’s going home…”
I directed the crew to make everyone as comfortable as possible—getting everyone situated with a cot in the wardroom and anywhere that offered even a little privacy. Then made sure everyone was fed real food and drink from our stores replicator, showers and toiletries were provided, and whatever clothes were needed from the milling printer in the ship's stores pantry. Clothing choices would be limited, but at least they’d be new and less of a reminder of those uniforms we’d been wearing while being held captive.
I was personally looking forward to wearing shoes again! My boots! I couldn’t wait to put them on!
Those orders initiated, I excused myself, heading to my small stateroom with Cheryl to discuss what came next. I felt bad I hadn’t said more to Garrett after the initial celebration with everyone once all our feet were firmly planted on the Particle Conveyor floor in the ship's hold. Everyone had shared hugs and a few tears after I’d arrived. I’d openly kissed Garrett without giving that act a second thought as soon as I could get my arms around him. When we broke that kiss and embrace, there were a few interested looks from my crew, and I don’t think it came as much of a surprise to anyone that we were together.
Before I retired to my stateroom, I’d hugged him and said I needed a few minutes to figure out what we were doing, and I’d find him in a bit. Thankfully he accepted that without much protest—unlike Liam, who demanded access to our sat-link array to reach out to the Guild warship stationed on the other side of the planet. My orders regarding his request were that we’d work that out after I met with my first officer, but for now he was to get cleaned up, eat, and relax until I was ready to consider his request. He wasn’t happy with me, and in the scope of the decisions I needed to make, I didn’t care what he thought of me or felt.
My ship, my rules; I’m in command here, not you, was the attitude I gave him. I don’t know how confident I appeared, but I didn’t give a damn right now.
“I want to rig that torpedo and blow that place to oblivion,” I stated as soon as Cheryl and I walked into my stateroom.
“I can understand that, but we’re talking about a half-million-credit torpedo on the open market… Why not reach out to the Guild? They know we’re here and that we’d come to retrieve you,” she replied.
“Were they the ones who found us? If so, why didn’t they come get us earlier? You said they’ve been on station for a few weeks; I mean, we felt the bombing…”
“They didn’t find you actually, and that’s a longer story. Why didn’t they pick you up sooner? My understanding is the planet still has regions that are holding out, even though the heavy bombing had beaten most of the planet into submission. Militarily speaking, you’re a civilian and a low priority,” she said. After a moment of considering her next words, she said, “Do you know it’s been seven hundred and fifty-one CGD days since you were pulled from this ship?”
That was difficult to hear, that I’d been away for that long. Zenia had said I’d probably been captive two CGD years; guess she was pretty damn close in her estimate.
“I’m sorry I left you with all this,” I said softly.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t have prevented them from taking you or finding or getting to you sooner,” Cheryl replied.
“How could that even happen from inside the wormhole? That’s like impossible,” I complained.
“Obviously not, and that tech… Well, from everything I’ve seen thus far, it’s why the Guild is here; they want it and badly.”
“Walk me through that. I’m in the stasis tube in the med bay, and you come check on me at some point, and I’m gone?”
“Pretty much... There was a power spike ten minutes after you’d been made comfortable, and the monitors on the stasis tube went crazy on the bridge. By the time we got to med-bay, they’d already conveyed you off the ship. Nothing we could have done, and believe me, we turned the ship inside out thinking maybe you’d just been moved elsewhere and not been taken—because, yeah, wormhole and getting conveyed outside of it? Not possible.
“And to add to the confusion, there were no ships, signatures, or cloaking; no one was around us. Since the ship was dead out there and we were waiting for the cup-link back to Libat III, all we could do was report it. After a few weeks of nothing from the Guild, I made a few discreet inquiries and found out this had been happening randomly for a couple years. How we’d never heard about that is beyond me given some of the seedy people we deal with on occasion.”
“There were only eight of us in that facility,” I complained.
“There were other facilities like the one you were in, I think; at least that’s the rumor.”
“That makes no sense, there were more of these zoos on that planet? Okay, wait, wait… So how’d you end up here knowing I was down there?”
“A Lorian bounty hunter with an array scanner was looking for escaped prisoners on a flyby of the planet. They don’t abide by Guild rules when it comes to unsecured space. Anyway, he got a reading from the Maretic implant in you last year; he’d looked you up, saw our reward for information on your whereabouts, and passed on where you were for the eighty-thousand credits reward. Then we had to fight the Guild to be allowed out here and then wait for them to target the planet trying to get their hands on that tech, which really slowed us getting to you.
“They knew about the abductions even before we reported it, and I guess they eventually tracked one of those people to this planet somehow—even though we’d passed on you being here long before they made their move. They hit the planet about a month ago to beat them into compliance, and now it’s all about stealing that tech, rebuilding for the Guild, taxing them into servitude, and raping the planet,” she offered, shaking her head in disgust given what the Guild would likely do to the planet and this race of beings.
I guess having that implant still within me was a good thing after all. Not that I’d ever go back to Maretic willingly, but at least I wasn’t on their list of people to bring back to their prison.
“Am I going to have any problems with any of the male crew members?” I asked.
She stared at me, “They’ll adjust, or we cut them loose. You’re likely to have as much trouble with the female crew as the men.”
“Why’s that?” I asked, surprised.
“Have you seen yourself? You’re more than pretty; you have to know that…”
I felt flush and wasn’t sure I wanted to have this kind of conversation with Cheryl right now or ever, so I switched topics: “The torpedo… Can it be rigged to blow on a timer or remotely?”
“We can figure that out, but the Guild might not like it if we do that without them getting a look at the site first.”
“That species of alien was trying to breed us for, I’m not even sure what for, but I want to flatten that facility before we leave the sector. I want to bury it so fucking deep…”
“You’ve got a Corps guy in your group; why not let him do the military monkey dance and convince them to flatten that place? I’d have thought you’d want to get out of here as soon as possible and get back to your old life.”
I’d moved a hand over my belly, turned, and looked around my room. Nothing had changed; even the papers I’d had out before being abducted were still on my small desk where I’d left them. What am I supposed to do now? Yeah, I want out of here, but I want my pound of flesh for what they did to us. I turned back to Cheryl; she was looking at me differently.
“What?”
She shook her head. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
Root CGD: 4039.83
CinT Ark Loc: Z8RBF.37.T (estimated position - uncharted Guild-controlled space)
Cheryl listened as I told her the full story, from when I’d first woke up to being impaled and to being ‘gifted’ a fully functional woman’s reproductive system via a transplant by the beings from the planet below us. I glossed over my relationship with Garrett, talked briefly about experiencing my first period, and finally told her I was a little over thirty days into being pregnant.
“Whoa… That’s a bit scary. How do you feel about not getting a choice in any of that?” she asked.
“It’s been different… And yes, it’s been scary, but parts of it have been… I don’t know, good, I guess.”
She chuckled, “Good? I think you’re holding out on me, but I’d probably do the same in your shoes with a couple of those guys you were holed up with.”
“I’ve got things I’m going to need to figure out, but they can wait. Where are we go...,” I watched as she pulled a small card from her pocket, and my question about our next destination was paused. She handed it to me. “What’s this?”
“Your DNA pre-hormone injection. I’m not sure how you’d use it now, but it’ll get you close to where you were pre all this if you should decide to get this reversed. I’m betting the Guild will likely cover the procedure costs since they’re going to want to keep it quiet they’ve snagged this alien conveyor tech that works regardless of any space/time/positional parameters.”
The idea that the Common Galactic Date—CGD—was on a continuum unless one was porting between various galaxies or executing a quantum jump to a mirrored universe via a wormhole could be circumvented in some way by this alien tech—that was big. What was the Guild’s goal? Control time with it? Mind-bending enough in theory, but I didn’t want to get lost in that black hole right now. Focus!
I looked at the tiny card in my hand. Yet another decision I needed to make at some point. I didn’t want to do any of that right now—make a rash decision without thinking out every option. I wasn’t even sure what I wanted going forward. Her comment about the Guild did make me wonder if we had any leverage to bear.
I set the tiny card on my desk and looked back at Cheryl.
“We can’t clear the sector without Guild approval; we might as well see if they’ll level your zoo for you. If not, we can adjust,” she said, smiling.
“Okay, can you patch me into whoever is running this show for the Guild on their cruiser? I’ll offer their one soldier back and make a case for blowing that place to oblivion,” I asked and then added, “If you wouldn’t mind, can we keep the pregnancy diagnosis between us? I’d appreciate that.”
“Garrett the father?”
“Kind of obvious, huh?” I said, blushing.
“Maybe a little… I’d have chased that boy,” she said with a tiny giggle. “He looks very into you; not sure what you’re going to do about that, but you might want to give it some thought, along with the baby inside of you. I’d keep him though,” she said finally with a sultry smile.
“Yeah, yeah… I have been thinking about those things the past couple of hours, but I’ve got other things to deal with first.” I replied.
“Understood… I’m happy you’re back, and I’m here for you, alright…,” she said, taking the few steps that separated us, and hugged me.
“Thanks, Cheryl… Thank you for not giving up on finding me and keeping the ship and business operating.”
“Don’t thank me yet; I gave myself a pretty big pay bump last year,” she said before turning to leave my stateroom.
“Worth it,” I called after her as the door slid shut.
Root CGD: 4039.98
CinT Ark Loc: Z8RBF.38.T (estimated position—uncharted Guild-controlled space)
“Captain…”
“Thank you for getting back to me Vice Admiral Leland, I know you’re busy, so I’ll make this quick. As I told your XO, we’ve got one of yours from the zoo facility we were being held in, and he’d like to get back to the Corps, sir.”
“Sergeant Liam Moser, yes, we’d like to get him back in the fold as well. He’ll need a full med workup, but we’ve got that facility on board. I’ll get that transfer arranged; we can convey him in the next hour if that works. My executive officer said you had a request for me, though, let's hear it.”
“I’d like that zoo facility we were held in gone, like never to be used again by those beings to house and display humans. If the Guild is running a rebuild protocol over this species, maybe they keep this kind of thing from being repeated in the future.”
There was a long pause before Leland spoke again, “Do you know what the facility was, Captain?”
“We assumed it was some kind of zoo, a breeding program of some type for who knows what reason,” I answered him.
I suddenly felt unsure I knew what that facility really was based on his questioning me. If it wasn’t a zoo, then what was it?
“This is not something you’re going to want to hear, I’m afraid, but there were a number of those facilities on the planet.”
I wasn’t surprised to hear that; Cheryl had said that was the rumor. Guess as large as the planet was, maybe having a few of those exhibits might make sense or be of interest for those beings, especially if they were trying to breed us.
“The survivors of that place, including me, lost a few friends, children, and people they loved down there, sir. I’d like to give them the news that that place and any others like it have been wiped from the planet. Anything else you care to tell me about it might help us understand why we were being held; it might even help in the healing process.”
Another longer than expected pause this time before he spoke, “It wasn’t a zoo…”
“You’re sure about that?” I asked.
“Yes, it was more of a farm. The purpose was the production of human babies for their species consumption…”
I wasn’t sure I’d heard him correctly, but I started to feel warm and faint, dropped to a knee, and proceeded to throw up the contents of my stomach all over my small stateroom floor.
Root CGD: 4039.98
CinT Ark Loc: Z8RBF.35.T (estimated position—uncharted Guild-controlled space)
I hadn’t fully recovered from the news that the facility we’d been held in was solely focused on ‘specialized food production’ for that alien species, according to Vice Admiral Leland. I’d seen alien beings eat all kinds of crazy shit while traversing space, but never had I heard of one consuming humans, let alone human infants. Leland had told me they had no interest in the consumption of adults, but premature babies to those just having been born, were considered delicacies.
It made no sense, and even after I’d found Garrett later and brought him back to my small stateroom, I was struggling with that idea. He’d asked what was wrong, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him, though I did say I’d tried to convince the Guild to level the facility.
“So they didn’t say they’d do it?” he asked.
“It is being considered, but I think I’ll push a little harder tomorrow.”
“I’ll bet they’d do it… Is something else bothering you?” he asked while hugging me as we lay in bed together.
“I’m, it’s just been a long journey, and I’m a bit overwhelmed by needing to step back into a command role on my ship to tell you the truth. I’ll be fine, though…”
“Any chance I could maybe distract you?” He said nibbling on my neck, getting his hands beneath the t-shirt I was wearing and onto my breasts, while rubbing his hips into my ass.
“I’m counting on it,” I said, reaching down to pull the shorts and panties I’d been wearing off.
I needed to escape, to feel alive, loved, and get out of my head anything related to having been held on a farm…
Root CGD: 4040.34
CinT Ark Loc: Z8RBF.36.T (estimated position—uncharted Guild-controlled space)
“We’re being hailed,” Dee turned to inform me.
“Put it on screen, please,” I asked, and when Vice Admiral Leland appeared, I stood. “Good morning, sir, my apologies for yesterday.”
“Well within acceptable parameters, Captain Ferris, what can I do for you?”
“Back to my original request, sir, wipe that facility from the planet or allow my crew to do it,” I replied.
“I’m not one for rogue operators, and I’m hoping you’re not telling me you’ve got ordinance aboard your ship that would make something like that possible,” he said, a brief look of concern flashing over his face.
“We’re a merchant freighter, sir, no armaments on this old girl. There are, though, enough explosive compounds within the facility to bring it down permanently, and we’d be willing to make that happen if you’d allow it.”
“You’re an interesting woman, Captain Ferris, but let me save you the trouble. We sent some personnel out there, and there isn’t anything within it we care about. We’ll dispatch a few fighter craft to put that farm into a big, big hole. Fair enough, Captain?”
I cringed when he said the word ‘farm’, but quickly spoke so those on the bridge might not focus on that.
“Thank you, sir. Can I ask that you give all those facilities the same treatment?”
“We’ve destroyed all but fourteen of them,” he said, looking at an officer behind him who nodded he was correct about the number that remained standing. “Our orders are to modify this species behavior, and within the hour you should be able to see a very big hole where that facility was.”
Garrett was the only person who’d been held with me in that ‘farm’ facility and on the bridge to hear Leland call it such. He gave me a curious look, and I ignored him because I was feeling sick to my stomach again just thinking about what those beings were doing with us. Of course Cheryl, Dee, and two male crew members—Tommy and Alex—also heard what Leland said, so word was sure to spread to the others. Shit! I should have taken Leland’s call in my stateroom.
“One more thing, Captain Ferris: Guild Chancellor Nory and I spoke; she would like everyone held on the planet medically cleared and debriefed before you’re off to parts unknown. You could do that on my ship or Carillion V, whichever option works best for you and your crew.”
“I think we’ll head to Carillion, sir. I think getting us back to civilization will speed up the healing process,” I replied. There were smiles on the faces of the crew members on the bridge with me – guess I could still make decisions people liked.
“Very well, safe travels then, Captain…”
“Thank you, sir. Barrow Gar out…,” I nodded at Dee to cut the feed, and then I looked over to Cheryl and said, “Let’s get eyes on that facility and everyone up here to watch it get torn to pieces.”
Forty minutes later, with everyone in attendance on the bridge, we watched as two LIT class star-fighters made lazy passes over the Exhibit Housing facility. Two heavy ordnance bombs made contact with the facility we had been held in, and the explosive flashes, even filtered, washed out the view on the screen. Ten minutes later, when there was barely any smoke remaining, we could all see there was nothing left standing, and a very big hole remained. No one cheered or said much of anything, though there were a few hugs shared and some quiet conversations between a few of the survivors.
I later sent a message to Vice Admiral Leland thanking him for the assist from all of us who’d been held there. That part of our nightmare was behind us, thankfully. I felt some satisfaction, but given what that place really was, I had less issue with the Guild subjugating that plant or making it unbearable for those beings for an eternity.
Now we just needed to figure out getting to Carillion V, getting medically cleared and debriefed by the Guild, and maybe even getting in some sightseeing on arguably one of the more lush planets this side of the known universe. Then, Beck, Turpin, Vesal, Syn, Zenia, Garrett, and I could get on with our lives – wherever that may lead us.
Root CGD: 4040.61
CinT Ark Loc: Z4MMR.01.D (estimated position - uncharted Guild-controlled space)
“What the fuck, Cameron!” Turpin barked at me.
“A farm?! We were meant to be eaten?! Are you shitting me?!” Syn yelled right after Turpin’s outburst.
Garrett had raised his hands to try and squash the outbursts, to bring some order to the questions flying at me, but it had done little to calm anyone down. I looked at the faces of those gathered in the galley and knew they were angry at hearing the news Leland had let slip from someone on my crew and not from me—one of them, a survivor of that nightmare, and the captain of this ship. I’d hoped it would have been kept quiet or not caught, but it had gotten out and was now something I needed to deal with.
“Cam, is it true?” Zenia asked.
“Yeah, were they breeding us to feed their kind?!” Turpin asked angrily, though not as loud as he’d been a moment ago.
"How long have you known?" Beck shouted.
"Look,” I shouted, “I was told by the vice admiral that the facility wasn’t a zoo; he said it was a farm yesterday.”
"Why are we just hearing that now?" Turpin complained.
I ignored the question, because I could feel Vesal's stare boring into me.
“So it is true?” Vesal asked calmly.
“Yes,” I state softly.
“But the remains in those tubes, is that how they went about consuming us? Why hadn’t they consumed those people?” Vesal asked before anyone had a chance to yell over the top of her.
“No,” was all I could say, because I couldn’t bring myself to answer her second question.
“What does that mean, Cam? Just tell us,” Syn complained.
“Hey! Alright! This isn’t Cam’s fault, people!” Garrett yelled, and he doing so next to me made me jump slightly. “It wasn’t a zoo; there were multiple of these across the planet, and the Guild has handled them all, just like we saw with the one we were held in. Those facilities are gone now, and that shit isn’t going to be allowed to continue under the Guild’s rule.”
“How many of them were there?” Beck asked.
“They destroyed some of them in their initial attack on the planet, but before they flattened ours, there were fourteen remaining,” I stated calmly.
“So, potentially hundreds?” Beck surmised, not really expecting an answer.
“They didn’t tell me how many they found,” I complained.
“That’s pretty fucked up they were trying to breed us though, right?” Beck countered.
I couldn’t help but look to the floor as the tears welled in my eyes.
Garrett got his arm around me before saying, “They weren’t interested in us according to the Guild; they were after the babies we’d conceived…”
The galley erupted into a series of swearing men and crying women. I found myself hugging Zenia, and a moment later Syn and Vesal were joining in to make it a group hug. All four of us were crying, and it went on for far longer than I’d expected. One of us would start to get their composure back and lose it as soon as one of the others broke down. Twenty-five minutes later, people in the room were somber, had aching hearts, were cried out, and were still angry—but at least that anger was focused at those beings from the planet we’d escaped and not me any longer.
Root CGD: 4044.28
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.A (Carillion V Space Port – South Bay 11)
Upon arrival to Carillion V, from the planet we were being told was called Lyone, we were required to remain on the ship until summoned by a Guild representative. Once summoned, a single person was escorted to the city of Oenic and the premier hospital for the planet to undergo a medical evaluation. Afterwards they were to be questioned by two different Guild agents and then returned to the ship. I would be notified who was free to return to their lives pre Exhibit Housing. And the final instructions were no one was to discuss their interview process with the rest of us.
That wasn’t going to happen if I had anything to say about it.
I felt like I was looked at differently the four days it took us to get to Carillion after everyone found out about the purpose of the Exhibit Housing. I’d see one of my fellow captives somewhere on the ship and they’d barely acknowledge me. The other women barely were talking with me, each processing the news for what it was. Those that had miscarried realizing their child had been… Ugh! Fuck that!
The door of my stateroom chimed.
“Come!” I shouted. “Who’d they take next, Beck or Turpin?” I asked Garrett as he entered my stateroom.
“Turpin… Goes pretty quick; it might be longer for you women just because you had a lot more going on than us guys did,” he said, raising a brow.
“Haha, you’re welcome to take over being pregnant for me,” I said, sticking my tongue out at him. I was happy Garrett had stuck with me and hadn't stopped wanting to be around me or shut me out.
“Yeah, I’ll pass…”
“Anything else?”
“Not really… They asked questions about our abductions, our stay, and any interactions we’d had with our hosts. Pretty generic stuff, actually—I thought for sure they’d have asked more questions. Oh, and afterwards they told me I was free to go, saying I would be compensated to the tune of two hundred thousand credits! That’s a bonus I hadn’t expected,” he explained.
Guess they'd changed their minds on letting me know who was free to go.
“What did you have to agree to for those credits?”
“Keep my mouth shut about my experience.”
Garrett had volunteered to be the first from the group to go through the process after the journey to Carillion V. I was happy to hear the Guild wasn’t going detain him and that they were compensating him, but I was curious as to his health evaluation.
“What did the doctors say?”
“I’m all good, lacking in a few elementary compounds like calcium and magnesium, but other than that I’m fit.”
“Nothing was said about the crap they were pumping into us?”
“No, all my testosterone levels were normal, blood pressure spot on, and truthfully, I thought I’d be having some kind of withdrawals, but I feel great.”
“But they were giving us stuff to keep us aroused, right? They didn’t say anything about that?” I asked.
“I mentioned it—they didn’t find anything in my system out of the ordinary.”
“How about the visions thing?”
“Yeah, that got me a few odd looks, but they thought maybe something in the food—a hallucinogen of some type—might have made it seem as though I was foreseeing some past memory.”
“You told them you saw those things, right? All the guys had them to various degrees,” I complained.
“Yes, I told them. And we did, but not like constantly. They didn’t seem to care about it when I told them.”
“So, you saw me as I am now, and the other guys saw what?”
“Pretty sure Beck saw Cekoo, maybe Vesal. Turpin knew Syn was coming, and Mike saw Ali... We didn't really talk about it much because it wasn't a big deal or happened very often.”
“Jessie?”
“Not sure, but he said he’d seen being with someone… Maybe that was you?”
Damn it! I’m not going to say anything about Jessie and I having been ‘together’! I didn’t care that Garrett had been with other women, Zenia before me even! What the hell were my 'remembrances'? They weren't Garrett...
Ugh! Would this craziness ever end?! Would I ever get my life back?!
::: --- :::
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Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: 4044.58
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.R (City of Oenic, Charthion Hospital, Carillion V)
Syn and Vesal had both gone through the Guild’s gauntlet of medical checks and questioning without any issues. When they returned to the ship, they both talked to us about what they’d been through, mentioned being 200K credits richer like the others, and had each arranged transport back to their lives through the Guild representative assigned to deal with us. Having to say goodbye to them had been an emotional moment for all of us, but I think everyone was happy for them—just as we’d been happy for Turpin and Beck when they’d said their goodbyes after being released by the Guild and wasting no time getting out of here and back to their lives.
Liam’s exit had occurred later that day we’d been rescued from the Exhibit Housing. He was conveyed to a Guild’s shuttle on station, and while his goodbye wasn’t as emotional as the one with the others had been, he seemed relieved to be rejoining the Corps. Of course that meant he was leaving Zenia behind and the child she was carrying that was his. I’d asked her about the possibility they would stay together, and she’d told me he didn’t love her, didn’t want anything to do with the child she was carrying, and had even suggested she have an abortion.
“What an asshole,” I’d complained to her.
“It’s alright; I never loved him either, and honestly, he’s happy now. I just need to figure out where my happiness takes us next,” she’d said.
I for one was happy to see Liam go but felt for Zenia, the child she was carrying, and both of their futures quite frankly. I’m not sure how I would have taken Garrett having the same attitude as Liam. Garrett had been released by the Guild but was choosing to stick around, and I felt oddly happy about that, if not a bit relieved, and hopeful. What our future held, we’d figure that out when there weren’t so many other issues that demanded my attention. It was a comfort, though, having him around in this more stable and less stress-filled environment, and I knew I was fortunate.
On our way to Carillion, Zenia had reached out to her husband, but as she’d suspected, he’d moved on, remarried a CGD a year after her disappearance, and had two children with his new wife. Outwardly she appeared to have taken that news well, probably because she’d told me a while ago she suspected he wouldn’t have waited for her. I felt like she’d come to terms with that possibility before having it confirmed via their sat-link call.
I felt her being truly alone now, with no family to support her and no one there to help raise the child she was carrying, meant she be wallowing in despair, but she wasn’t or maybe she was just hiding it well. Garrett and I were purposely sticking close to her and keeping her busy with tasks around the ship when she felt like contributing until it was her and my turns to meet with the Guild representatives.
We’d be the last two from the group to be examined and interviewed and since we were both summoned together by the Guild had figured it was because we were both pregnant – the only two of the group of four women. Each of us was examined by our own doctors but ended up together in an exam room with those doctors to go over their eventual findings.
“Mrs. Roads, Ms. Ferris, thank you for agreeing to this joint consultation. I think you’ll see why we wanted you both together for this,” one of the two doctors in the room, I think his name was Baker, began saying.
My doctor was named Jones, and he struck me as odd, or maybe he just didn’t like me or maybe it was because I’d been born male and gotten the transplant? I’d told him it happened without my consent, but he didn’t appear to believe me or he could have been distracted with other work and I just wasn’t getting good care from him. His touching and examining me had not been a pleasant experience. Not that when Zenia had done some of the same checking had I liked it, at all, but even with devices that could see inside of me, I’d have wished for less physical contact between us.
“Zenia, please… If you wouldn’t mind, Doctor Baker,” Zenia requested.
That made it sound like she’d asked him to do that before, and maybe he’d reverted back because I was here.
“Cam, for me,” I chimed in, to help Zen out and because ‘Ms. Ferris’ sounded really odd to me.
“Very well, Zenia, Cam… Since you’re a nurse, Zenia, I’m going to try to keep this simpler for Cam’s sake,” Baker stated. “You both understand the purpose of your confinement on Lyone?”
We both nodded wearily. I’m pretty sure the looks on our faces told him we didn’t want to talk about it much.
“Syn Jekurn was the only other surviving woman, besides the both of you, to be pregnant at some point during your group's stay on the planet,” he began. “Syn and several of the other women we’ve examined state that no one ever carried a child to term, and you’ve both confirmed that, correct?”
“It is… Generally we had issues after the first trimester and late into the third. I’m not aware of anyone that made it to term or hadn’t passed during actual childbirth,” Zen offered.
“The Guild rescued others?” I asked, surprised, having missed the inference in what Baker was saying about Syn a few seconds ago.
Had they not mentioned that to anyone else, because no one mentioned that to us? Seems like an important point to have not shared. I mean, everyone knew there were multiple sites and if there were survivors that would have been good news to share I would have thought.
“Yes, forty men and thirty-nine women,” he replied. “In regards to the pregnancies, we don’t believe many of them had a chance to make it very far into the third trimester. Let me show you why,” he said, bringing up a 4D hologram marked as ‘Z. Roads’ near the left foot along with Zenia’s other personal identifiers.
We watched as he manipulated the hologram, zooming in and out, tilting her body image slightly, and finally aligning the scene close up on something I had no idea what I was looking at but could see Zenia’s baby in the background, maybe connected to something that looked like a transparent hose. I know I’d heard what that tube was called, but couldn’t come up with its name.
“Can you see the issue?” he finally asked Zenia.
“May I?” she asked, reaching over to zoom out a little, then turn the hologram slightly to the left, back to the right, zooming back in, and stopping to study whatever it was she was interested in seeing. “Thinning of the umbilical cord? And this, this doesn’t look right… Is that some kind of calcium buildup?”
Ugh! Umbilical cord! I knew that!
“Correct, the umbilical cord connection point has been purposely weakened, and we believe that’s due to the chemical ingestion of,” he paused to look at something on a small handheld device he was holding. “A polyfluoroalkyl agent used as the vehicle to deliver female hormones and another chemical we’re still trying to classify from the planet but believe was meant to keep those captive in a constant state of arousal. What you’ve identified as a calcium build-up is actually an overgrowth of myofilaments, which I’m sure you know isn’t normal.”
“I’d figured the water we were bathing in was how they were keeping us drugged, and any polyfluoroalkyl would certainly allow for chemical absorption through the skin of anything they wanted us to be receiving. So, I guess that means they were calculated in how they cared for us; this thinning was deliberate,” Zenia stated.
“We believe so. Absorption via the skin using a polyfluoroalkyl would be a known hazard to the natal connection to the placenta. The overgrowth being polysaccharides consisting of repeating disaccharide units would eventually lead to a termination event; they’d harvest the child at that point, we believe.”
“They never intended us to make it to term, just have the baby grow to a suitable size for…” Zenia stopped speaking I think, and I heard someone shouting as the room began fading to black, and saw for a moment the room tilting oddly to my left...
Root CGD: 4044.64
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.R (City of Oenic, Charthion Hospital, Carillion V)
I woke to find myself in a hospital room with Zenia and Garrett sitting nearby. They were talking quietly until they saw me blink a few times and look around, trying to figure out where I was and how I’d gotten into this bed.
“Hey,” Garrett said, taking my hand while leaning over to kiss my forehead.
“Everything’s fine; you just passed out,” Zen said. “Too much medical jargon, but the bottom line from all that is both our babies are fine; no irreparable damage or long-term issues were detected. Oh, and in case you were wondering, you’re exactly forty-four days along; I’m sixty-seven.”
I looked between the two of them, closed my eyes for a moment, and asked, “Anything else?”
“No, not really… As a recipient of a transplanted woman’s reproductive system, you’re in amazing health. I asked Doctor Jones since you’d given him a bit of a scare. Doctor Baker told me the trace amounts of polyfluoroalkyl chemicals in my system would be gone completely in a few weeks, and I need to take prenatal vitamins—but I already suspected those things. My guess is you’re going to get the same message when one of those two stops by to see how you’re doing,” Zenia said, smiling.
“How are you feeling?” Garrett asked.
“Like I want out of here and don’t want to hear any more medical terms thrown at me,” I complained. I saw something in Zen’s eyes and asked, “What? The Guild released you, right? No issues or anything?”
“Yes… I’m free to go, and there are no issues, other than I don’t really have anywhere to go just yet,” she replied.
“Stay with us,” I said, looking at Garrett, who nodded in agreement and squeezed my hand. “At least for the time being, until we can get you settled someplace or you find something you want to do or someplace you want to be.”
“Thank you, I appreciate the offer, but I might actually just stay here in Oenic. Doctor Baker mentioned the hospital was looking for nurses, so I might just stick around for a little bit and figure out if this is where I want to end up,” she said.
She seemed less stressed to me, maybe even happy at the prospect of making a go at it on Oenic. Had I really just asked her to stay with Garrett and me, us? I turned to look at him; he was smiling, so did that mean he was good with there being an ‘us’?
A tap on the door to the room had us all looking in that direction as Doctor Baker entered the room.
“You certainly have better color, Cam,” he said, smiling and standing next to the bed after Garrett moved to allow him access to me.
We watched him clicking buttons on the display panel connected to the bed, and on the wall my diagnostic readings were displayed on a screen. Thankfully on ceiling above me also so I wouldn’t need to wrench my neck to see the screen on the wall behind me.
“Much better; I can live with these numbers,” he said.
“So, I can get out of here?” I asked anxiously.
“Well, I’d like to finish reviewing a few things with you, but I don’t see why you couldn’t be released in a few hours. You’ll still need to speak with the Guild, though; all of your companions have, and I think it’s just a formality at this point,” he said, looking at Zenia and Garrett—both of them nodding.
Root CGD: 4044.69
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.R (City of Oenic, Charthion Hospital, Carillion V)
Zenia and Garrett were asked to wait down the hall in the waiting area so Doctor Baker could go over my test results. I was worried because he’d done some of that with Zenia and me together, but now he wanted to do that with me alone? I was worried and more than anxious now.
“Please, I’m not sure I can stand to hear any crazy medical talk,” I stated when it was just the two of us left in the room.
“Understood, but there are obviously a few differences in your pregnancy compared to the other women we’ve examined,” he began, “Notably the transplanted reproductive system within you. May I show you a few things to level set your being remarkably healthy for a woman your age?”
I nodded, though it struck me differently him saying, ‘woman your age’. I get it—medically speaking, the male-to-female scale in regards to who I am right now is tilted way more to one side than the other. It didn’t mean hearing that didn’t strike a chord in me or make me wonder about which I truly was. Worry to another time I told myself.
I watched as Baker pulled up two 4D holograms, mine and Zenia’s, and got them adjusted so our bodies were nearly overlapping.
“The transplant was done exceptionally well, one of the best examples of this procedure any of the doctors here on staff have ever seen, actually. This,” he said, pointing to what appeared to be a bone structure, “are Zenia’s hips, typical of any woman and suitable for childbirth...”
I interrupted him, “And since I was born a male, mine aren’t going to work…”
“Actually,” he isolated both hip areas in the holograms and slid them over one another, “Your hips have been modified, shaved actually, and you’ll definitely be able to deliver your baby naturally. Even the ligaments in your hips have been moved and appear healthy and solid and will allow you to give birth to your child naturally. Amazing work, very precise, and overall adds to our assessment that you’re quite healthy.”
He seemed quite pleased to have delivered all that news, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the holograms. Did I even want to give birth? Like, go through giving birth? Zenia had mentioned I could port the child to a stasis birthing environment for the rest of the gestation period, right? If I did that, could my body be reverted back to its pre-abduction state?
“If at some point I wanted to go back?” I asked sheepishly.
“Ah, ‘back’, as in to be as you were pre-transition?” he asked, maybe slightly confused.
“You understand that I didn’t set out to be Transgendered; all of this was purely by accident.”
I explained my abduction story to him, including the initial hormone injection by Cheryl, why I’d been injected to begin with, and finally the impalement that led to the transplant. He knew ‘women’ in the Exhibit Housing had been pumped with hormones and other stuff and of course, that had furthered my current existence towards being a woman.
“Interesting… Curious they’d go through all that trouble with you when our understanding is they were abducting others, biological women, at will.”
“I agree, but honestly not a lot of what they were doing to us makes sense. We were on display, and it seemed to give them great pleasure watching… Well, watching us being intimate.”
“We’ve heard that from the others, the ‘clicking’ noises, right?”
“Yeah, not very pleasant…”
I watched him manipulate something on the hologram; Zenia’s disappeared, and a listing of some type appeared.
“Did you know an Allison Sanderson while in captivity?”
“Yes, she... Ali,” I could feel the tears well in my eyes and paused to slow my breathing down. “She was a good friend and didn’t make it.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” he said, placing his hand on mine for a moment. “The reason for that question is, well, we analyzed the one hundred and sixty-eight tubes you’d recovered from the facility you were held in. They, as you probably already know, contained the remains of those who were held captive there and were either killed or died during childbirth. In one of those tubes we found Allison Sanderson. Interestingly, her DNA markers have been also found within you.”
“How can that be possible?”
“We believe it was her reproductive system they transplanted in you.”
Root CGD: 4044.71
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.R (City of Oenic, Charthion Hospital, Carillion V)
It took nearly twenty minutes before I could finally get a hold of my emotions and was able to stop crying. Thankfully, Doctor Baker was patient with me and assured me multiple times I was healthy, my baby was perfectly healthy, and my body would heal the weakening of the umbilical cord the chemical those beings had used on us. He ended his little speech by saying I had nothing to worry about in regards to the baby growing inside of me.
Additionally, he explained that while I might have Ali’s reproductive system within me, over time my own DNA would be infused with the production of eggs I was able to produce. In fact, it was likely the child within me contained both our DNAs and he was running tests still to confirm that. Bottom line – the baby within me most likely contained some of my genetic traits.
“You’re kidding?”
“No, it’s kind of how the body deals with something you’re not originally born with and is added to it. Heart transplants, kidneys, livers, and other organs—the body rejects them or accepts them. Yours has accepted having been given a new reproductive system and over time will most definitely modify some of the donor's DNA makeup with your own.”
I could only shake my head in response. He was smiling and squeezed my hand again before shutting off the hologram.
“Any other questions for me?” he asked.
I could feel the guilt rolling on even considering reversing all of this. Children down the line were something I would probably be interested in, but being the one to actually carry them, like being a woman, being pregnant, and carrying them?! Not something I’d have considered or would have chosen. Yet, there was something I liked about this idea, but I also needed assurances if it was beyond my ability to cope—as a woman—this could be reversed.
“So, I could revert back to my former self at some point, right?”
“You could, absolutely… As I said earlier, though, you’re going to be forever changed by this ‘swap’ to being a woman now.”
“What does that mean, exactly?” I asked, but I was sure it sounded like I was complaining.
“Well, the recovery process to build back your original genitalia would be eight CGD months to a year for it to be fully functional. That’s the minimum recovery time for something like that would require. I asked Zenia, and she’d said you were taken after a failed escape attempt and gone for a little over a year—likely all recovery time you wouldn’t remember while in stasis. You’d need bone grafting to reform your hips, and that’s going to add a few months to the full recovery. A regime of testosterone reintroduction would likely not reset the changes that have occurred in your brain, but you’d certainly not be limited intellectually in any way.”
“Wait, what?! What do you mean my brain has changed?”
He chuckled and gave me a subtle smile.
“There are significant differences between the male and female brains. These differences are extreme, we’ve learned; in fact, the fingerprint of the brain you had pre-abduction—if we had such a scan to compare—would show that the determinants of cognitive functions you had before are profoundly different from the determinants in cognitive functions now.
“For example, when the different sexes’ brains are mapped for activity, there are limited overlapping areas of common processes happening. Take a woman’s brain at rest, for example; it’s significantly different from what you’d find going on in a man’s brain at rest. In that example, no overlapping areas of activity exist. On a biological basis, the functional organization is just different between the sexes.”
I’m sure I looked very confused and just stared at him, waiting for something I could understand better to be said.
“Okay, simply put, the human brain is a sex-typed organ, and we’ve known that for centuries. There are plenty of distinct anatomical differences in the neural structures and accompanying physiological differences in function. Like a woman’s hippocampus is larger than a man’s and works differently. That’s the critical learning and memorization part of the brain. And a man’s amygdala is bigger than a woman’s. That’s the associated part of the brain that experiences emotions and the recollection of how we’ve dealt with those experiences.
“Women retain stronger and more vivid memories of emotional events than men do. They can recall emotional memories quicker, and those are generally richer, more vivid, and even more intense. The two hemispheres of a woman’s brain talk to each other more than a man’s does—ever. Ask my wife; she’ll tell you I’m missing some simple point she’s trying to make all the time because I’m not processing it as quickly or succinctly as she might.
“And the corpus callosum—the white-matter cable that crosses and connects the hemispheres—it’s bigger in women than in men. Not to mention a woman’s brain tends to be more bilaterally symmetrical in general. So you see, the cognitive differences are too big to ignore, and your brain has changed due to the hormones you’ve been given for the past two-plus years. I would imagine significantly changed to be more in line with how a woman’s brain functions.
“I want to point out your brain hasn’t grown or shrunk in any way, alright… You could revert back to being all male, but your brain will never be completely returned to that original state you were born with. Does that help any?”
“So, if I were my former self, are you saying I’d still think like a woman?”
“Yes, and no… Not enough research on that, I’m afraid. It’s rare someone transitions and decides they want to revert back. If you do decide to revert back, if you’d consent to being studied, that would help the science of brain function.”
Nope! Not happening! I’ve been a test subject once; not going to do that again—ever!
“You understand I didn’t ask for this,” I complained.
“Understood, but unfortunately going back to that point in time before the abduction isn’t completely possible. You’d be close—but still having those changes to your brain that I don’t believe would ever revert back, even with your DNA pre-abduction and the modern tools we could employ to get you back to somewhere close to the male baseline. There just isn’t a brain reset—too complex an organ.”
I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to go back to being my prior self—at least while pregnant and the child possibly having some of my genes. And then there was the idea that Garrett was still around—not running away from me or the baby like Liam had on Zen. Everything was still a bit cloudy, my path forward, what I really wanted, but I knew I wanted options at a minimum.
I guess I knew it was possible now, though some of this experience of being a woman would stick with me forever. I’d gotten way too much ‘medical’ jargon in the past couple of minutes, though, when his last few statements would have saved us a lot of time and the headache I had now.
Baby, Garrett, the future, and what I really wanted in life is still up for…
“Anything else?” he asked when he saw me absently shaking my head.
“I… I had these visions… Is that going to stop? I mean it’s been weeks since the last one… I just don’t understand them.”
“You did? Can you tell me about them?”
I proceeded to dump everything I’d seen, felt, and thought I knew about those ‘remembrances’. Doctor Baker listened, asked a few pointed questions, and when I was done speaking, took a moment to look at his handheld device.
“So, you’re aware this didn’t happen to any of the other women we’ve examined,” he stated. “As I said before, the human brain is a sex-typed organ, and biologically you were born male, even with the tilting of your body's current makeup those hormones have had on you. Your core basis is still male and that’s likely why you had those or experienced the same type of things the other men did.”
“Okay, I can wrap my head around that explanation, but Garrett had said he’d seen me in his ‘remembrances’ as I am now, a woman, let’s say, and the other guys had foreseen their ‘coupling’ partners, women, before meeting them. Yeah, not every time or woman, but they had precognition or glimpses of the future. How is that possible?”
“We’re thinking something environmental, maybe a hallucinogen in the food we haven’t identified or maybe even a side effect of the arousal chemical they were giving you. Unfortunately, the Guild destroyed the facilities on Lyone, so we may never know—at least for a while—exactly what compounds were in play.”
Did I tell this guy I didn’t see Garrett? He gave me a look that said he knew there was something else. Damn it!
“There’s something more, isn’t there?” He asked, sensing I had more to say.
“My ‘remembrances’ weren’t of anyone I knew. Garrett said he’d seen me, but I was not seeing him.”
“I guess I’d have thought you were seeing another woman like the men were, maybe one who would be held captive with you. So, you’re saying you weren’t seeing a woman then?” He asked to make sure he understood my point, since I probably rambled aimlessly while telling him about the visions/remembrances and didn’t make that clear.
“No, it was a man I was seeing, just not Garrett.”
“Hmm… Not sure I can explain that, I'm afraid. But you might find this of interest though – none of the men we’ve interviewed provided the level of detail you just did about these visions. You mentioned smelling this man’s breath on your neck and it giving you goose bumps, the taste of alcohol on his breath, the sensations from being caressed by him, the hair on his arms, his mustache, and the tiny v-shaped scar on his hand and how it felt when you ran your finger over it. Kind of lends a bit of credence to the idea your brain has changed, doesn’t it?”
None of those remembrances happened, so they weren’t past experiences I’d ever had. Was what I saw something that had happened to Ali? Baker had said I’d gotten Ali’s reproductive system, and our DNA would eventually blend, right?
No, that can’t be it. Garrett had said Mike had seen Ali. That meant she’d never been partnered with anyone else before she died. Was there some residual Ali remembrance blended with my new form somehow?
“Do you think those could have been meant for Ali, Allison? Maybe remembrances she had?” I asked.
“I wish I knew or could give you an answer that made sense. Best we can do is monitor your brain patterns the rest of the day,” he said, pushing buttons on the screen attached to the bed. “I doubt there will be much gathered in the sense of ‘visions,’ but we can do this testing easily enough to pick out any anomalies. I’d be good with releasing you tomorrow if your vitals look as good in the morning—pending any strange brain wave patterns that might suggest a vision. I’d like to give you a mild psychotropic meant to relax the brain, opening the synapses firing within your brain. Harmless to the baby, I promise you. Let’s see if that kicks in a vision event in the next few hours.”
“Think I’d like this to all be over, doctor. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me and my baby.”
“You’re very welcome. I’ll check on you in the morning,” he said before leaving.
I don’t think I can do this crap any longer! I closed my eyes for a brief moment and tried to…
Root CGD: 4045.08
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.R (City of Oenic, Charthion Hospital, Carillion V)
I’d fallen asleep and woke up nearly two hours later. Zenia was laid out sideways in the chair near the wall, legs dangling over the arm, and her head at an odd angle as she slept. Food supplements had been left on a tray next to my bed, and I popped a couple in my mouth, sucking on a straw in a glass of water to get them down because I was hungry. They served real food, but the two pills were basically a ‘snack’ or ‘tide you over’ option until there was food service.
I also needed to pee, so I moved the table connected to the bed aside, pulled the bedding back, and sat while I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Okay, I think I feel good enough to…
“Wait, let me help you,” Zenia said, standing, looking like she was stiff from lying in the chair, and began walking over to me.
“Thanks, just need to pee… Where’s Garrett?”
“Said he was going to explore and would be back in a little bit.”
“It’s after midnight; he better not be trolling the streets,” I tried to say jokingly.
I tried standing, with her help, and when it looked like I was rock steady, she let my hands go.
“Yeah, I’m fairly certain you’ve got that man locked down; no worries there.”
I gave her a curious look and smile before saying, “Be right back, and I’d like to know why you think that, to be honest.”
When I returned, I didn’t head directly back to the bed; instead, I went to the window to look out over the twinkle of lights that was the city of Oenic, the passing of illuminated hovercraft on managed municipal glide paths taking people around the city, and the occasional heavy transport breaking through the planet’s atmosphere and heading to someplace more interesting than being stuck in a hospital. It was interesting and beautiful to see after all that time we’d spent in the Exhibit Housing and being away from such sights.
“So, why do you think I’ve got Garrett locked down?” I asked, not looking directly at her, but I could see her in the reflection of the window behind me sitting at the foot of the bed. I watched her reflection rise, coming my way, and she stood next to me.
“I know you’re still getting your ‘womanly’ legs under you, Cam, but in time you’re going to be able to read the signs,” Zenia said.
“Signs? I never once knew whether a woman was interested in me on any of the planets I’d been to; how the heck am I supposed to…,” and I stopped speaking because she’d turn to me, gave me a raised brow, and I’d sort of just answered my own question. “You’re saying because I’ve been a man, I should be able to reverse technology the plethora of emotional crap us women are more in tune with and see the signs because I’ve likely done that with women in the past?”
“Basically, yeah… You’ve got a leg up because you’ve lived that life and should know the signs; come on...”
“Okay, okay… He’s a bit gooey with me at times, so maybe I get it – a little.”
“You still struggling with the idea of reverting back?”
“Yes,” I said, placing a hand on my stomach for no reason. “This, complicates that decision; I don’t think I’m strong enough to go through what you’ve been through, Zen. If he were to leave me, I don’t think I could do it.”
“You could, and you would. Motherhood, it will change you even more than this entire hormone and transplant stuff did to…,” she was starting to say, but I cut in.
“Oh, crap! I didn’t tell you! You’ll never guess what Baker told me!”
“You’re healthy?” she asked confused.
“No! I mean, yes, I’m healthy, and so is the baby. This is about the transplant,” I said, my voice trailing off for a moment. “They believe they know who the donor was… Ali,” I said, and as soon as I’d said that, we were hugging and crying together.
Root CGD: 4045.46
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.D (City of Oenic, Planetary Guild Admin Sector, Carillion V)
“And you were the only one to actually interact with them, do I have that right?” the prefect asked.
“Jessie Winston and I, yes… But I’m not sure how a whole fifteen seconds worth of listening to the being grinding its teeth and then impaling me with its arm from across the room means I actually interacted with them,” I replied, confused.
I moved my arm slightly and caught the guy's look. Yes, I know already; remain still!
The leads attached to the devices on my arms were tickling my wrists, and I was just trying to get comfortable with my hands resting in front of me on the table. None of the others had mentioned this treatment, and I fully expected that after the first interview I’d done with the other prefect, this one would have gone quicker and smoother, but no—it was determined I needed additional psych-based monitoring!
Was I worried? Not really, because I knew next to nothing about our hosts or that facility and had nothing to hide. Were they convinced I wasn’t telling the truth or something?
Whatever optical scanner was pointed at my face on the desk in front of me, looking for variations in my eye movements and pupil dilation would randomly blink. How was I supposed to pay attention to the prefect asking me his questions with that thing blinking?! All these questions I was being asked, again, had already been answered, and truthfully!
“You told the doctors you had visions, I understand, but none of the other women had those, correct?”
“I told the doctors that, yes. Biologically, I’m not a woman though – I was born male.”
“Did you ask the other women about having visions?”
“Only Zenia Read and Allison Sanderson; the others I never mentioned it to.”
“Why’s that?”
“I don’t know! I thought I was losing my mind, maybe. Like seeing stuff happen to this version of me that hadn’t happened—isn’t that along the lines of thinking you’re losing it?” I complained.
He wasn’t fazed and asked, “Do you think the visions were a past memory that was possibly connected to Allison Sanderson since her reproductive system was implanted in you?”
Implanted? Don’t you mean transplanted? Implanted suggests something other than living tissue, right? Like that stupid Meritec prisoner control mechanism infused in my spinal cord. Do I correct you? No—I want the heck out of here!
“I wondered that, but Ali had only ever been with Mike; I don’t know his last name, so if you’re asking if it was past or future—then it’s likely something that was supposed to happen while I was held captive at some point or maybe will happen at some point; I really don’t know…”
“How many times were you conveyed while in captivity?”
“I have no idea,” I said, shaking my head. “No one knows for sure, but both men and women were pulled from the Exhibit Housing for whatever reason they saw fit. We weren’t awake any time they’d conveyed us. Like, if you didn’t comply, you got conveyed. Pregnant—conveyed for medical care or when they harv…” I could bring myself to finish that thought.
“Very well,” he said, closing his tablet portfolio, putting a finger to his ear as if he were listening to something, and then stood. “Wait here; I’ll be just a moment.”
“Can I take these off?” I asked.
“Please, just wait,” was his reply, and he exited the small room.
I tilted my head back and stared at the ceiling for a moment and then looked around the room—was I just interrogated? Should I have asked for legal counsel to be present? I knew a few things for certain—I was tired, cold, and needed to pee. I considered getting up or calling out to tell them that, but decided to just wait it out—for a reasonable amount of time. I did have a breaking point, and they were quickly bumping up against that.
When they released me, I was going to say goodbye to Zen, grab Garrett, and have Cheryl convey us up. We’d be out of the spaceport shortly thereafter, paying for the privilege through the nose for being docked there—even though us being here was required by the Guild. Then we’d be off to do a couple of boring runs Cheryl had lined up. When I’d talked to Cheryl this morning, I requested everyone be recalled back to the ship and ready to pull out once I was released.
The door to the room opened, the prefect went about removing the devices from my wrists, and sat across from me. He looked over a small tablet device's screen carefully and slid it to me.
“If you’ll just place your hand on the screen to confirm receipt of your two hundred thousand credits, you’ll be free to go.”
“And what am I signing exactly?”
“That the events of your capture are Planetary Guild secrets and disclosure carries severe consequences. Any other questions?”
I placed my hand on the tablet, stood, and walked out the door without saying anything further.
Root CGD: 4045.71
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.A (Carillion V Space Port – South Bay 11)
“Dee, release the docking clamps and let’s use thrusters only until we’re clear – don’t need to piss the port’s Master of Ships off. Let’s ease out of here, please,” I said, while sitting in one of the two command chairs on the bridge.
I pressed a button on the arm and began speaking to those throughout the ship.
“We’re making way to Chin-Ray, picking up twenty-five hundred solar array dish panels for their upgraded sat-link system, and then we’re off to deliver them to a Guild outpost on Varino. Nothing there worth hanging around for, so after the offload—which I’ll need all hands helping with—we’ll be heading to Libat III for standard maintenance and picking up supplies for another delivery to be determined.”
The crew, even under Cheryl’s captaincy, knew what ‘to be determined’ meant—we were going to be on a smuggling run when we left Libat III.
“Time to Chin-ray is two CGD days; Varino is eight days, and then we’re six more to get to Libat III. We’ll be on station there for two days at most; everyone will get a day’s shore leave. Let’s keep this old girl humming in the meantime. Captain out.”
The ‘old girl humming’ comment had Dee spinning in her chair at the helm to give me a questioning smile.
“Yes?” I asked her.
“A little different than your past motivational speeches before heading out, ma’am, that’s all.”
“Was I that insufferable, Dee?” I asked, smiling.
I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t truly want to know and knew Dee for about as long as Cheryl, so I expected she’d give me a straight answer.
“Of course not, but you did have a certain edge to you back in the day,” was her steady reply.
I looked to Cheryl, who nodded she agreed.
“Yeah, yeah… Cheryl, you have the con; I’ll be in my room but will relieve you at 4046.26. You both good?”
Both women gave me goofy looks and smiles.
“Okay, okay, keep your heads in the game,” I complained in jest.
In unison I heard, “Aye, Captain…” as I made my way to the ship's lift to the lower decks and my quarters.
As the doors closed, I could see Cheryl smiling and saying, “You too…”
Root CGD: 4045.73
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.14.W (Carillion V – outer sector W)
“You’re pretty good at this…”
“It was my first time shopping for, well, clothing and stuff. I had no idea what I was doing or even what I might need, believe me. Cheryl saved my ass,” I stated.
“A reoccurring theme I’ve heard,” Garrett chuckled in reply.
“Whatever…,” I said, smiling at him since I knew he was razzing me and it felt right. “You know, putting all this stuff away is going to be tough since it’s so small in here, and you certainly went to town buying stuff,” I said as I hung one of the many dresses I’d purchased in Oenic’s city center shopping district.
“The benefits of being a little richer, thanks to the Guild,” was his answer to that.
The idea I could get out of the Guild interview and just jettison off the planet didn’t quite play out as I had hoped. I needed to track Zenia down and get her my Planetary Guild SSID (Ship Serial Identification Number) so she’d be able to stay in contact with us via any standard sat-link device out there. I also provided her with the black market version of that number we used, which came in handy for when we were smuggling stuff we shouldn’t be smuggling and needed to discretely communicate to the outside world.
I had tried to convince her to come along with us again, but she’d set her mind on staying and figuring out making it on Oenic. I cried, she cried, and Garrett just wrapped us both in a big, lazy hug to comfort us. I told her to reach out when the baby arrived, and if we were close, we’d come visit or coordinate a place to meet up. She wanted the same in return and would get me some way to contact her.
I knew Garrett had exchanged the ships SSID with Beck and Turpin, but neither of us had done that with Syn, Vesal, or Liam. Guess we were through with that portion of this journey and any relationships we thought we had with them while held captive.
When I’d called to Cheryl to convey Garrett and me up to the ship, after saying goodbye to Zen, she had been hesitant.
“Is there an issue?” I asked.
“Masked mode…”
I changed the setting on the communications device on my wrist so that it used my skin's layer to deliver the audio to my ears, and no one else could hear her speaking to me. My brain waves were converted to speech and transmitted back the same way.
“Go…”
“You really don’t have any clothing that’s going to fit you now, Cam.”
She was making this conversation personal; gone was her use of Captain or Ma’am to address me. Every time she’d say ma’am, it would click: I wasn’t a ‘sir’ anymore, and she accepted me as I appeared. Interestingly enough, I was becoming more comfortable with that idea too, but that’s not to say I didn’t struggle.
Of course I hadn’t even considered the idea that I would probably need clothing, and while our store's pantry printer was adept at printing coveralls, gloves, a selection of footwear, and underwear after it scanned your body, what I was hearing was I should probably buy a few things while we were someplace civilized. That I was two hundred thousand credits richer didn’t hurt and had buoyed my attitude about the suggestion after considering her statement.
“Any chance you could help me with that?” I asked, afraid I might be overstepping.
“Be happy too…”
Garrett wasn’t interested in tagging along, and part of his ‘exploring’ last night had been buying some clothing for himself. He was happy to wait on the ship and relax until we returned. When Cheryl finished getting him conveyed up, it became just a girls outing in the city. A long, long girls-only outing.
This adventure had us tromping around too many stores to recall, a body scan that was shared amongst every store, and me spending nearly forty-two hundred credits and thinking I hadn’t really gotten that much in return for spending that amount. Sure, I bought the typical necessities: socks, panties, and bras—some of that maternity wear—but that was just the beginning.
The idea of porting my baby to some birthing stasis machine was off the table—for now and it took nothing for those scans to be converted to ‘pregnant’ Cam mode at various time points to come.
I reasoned that since a part of Ali had been transplanted in me, I’d honor her by listening to her advice, again, which was to get something out of this experience. It was a big step, but in the end I could figure out reverting back another day if going through life as a woman ever became too much to handle.
Not all of the shopping was comfortable. Cheryl had convinced me to buy a few sexy pieces of lingerie because I’d enjoy the benefits of wearing this stuff as much as Garrett would enjoy me in them. Had I blushed much in front of Cheryl? Absolutely! And I tried to complain that in a couple of months these things wouldn’t fit so why bother? But it was difficult saying ‘no’ also because, well, sex with Garrett was awful damn good and if these purchase enhanced that, well…
I gave Cheryl a look when the conversation we were having broached the subject of sex. She told me she wasn’t buying my attempts at protests and could tell I’d liked the idea of being more desirable for Garrett. In the end we came to the understanding that what I’d bought would be more for our mutual enjoyment, though she’d kidded I’d reap the bulk of the rewards.
Shopping had included the purchase of a few dresses, plenty of pants, various pieces I could wear to relax in around my stateroom, shoes, tops, items to sleep in comfortably, and more damn shoes! I owned more now than I’ve ever owned in my life! And while I might have complained about some of the stuff Cheryl had me trying on – I really did enjoy some it, the way certain pieces made me look or feel while seeing the woman in the mirror staring back at me. Cheryl knew by my smile I was happy, and she certainly wasn’t going to let me forget any time soon either—which was her ‘You too…’ comment before I left the bridge!
When I thought we were done shopping, I was told we needed to eat lunch. She had a pint of ale and when I’d tried to order one she’d happily told the server, ‘No, she’s with child…’ Ugh!
It was really nice that we could share casual conversations too, like about the happenings of the past two years she had to deal with keeping the ship and business thriving. We talked quickly about replacing one of the male crew members who decided working for a trans captain wasn’t going to work for them at an all hands meeting. Further talk about replacing said asshole had us agreeing that would happen once we got to Libat III.
I thought we were finally done after we ate lunch, but was told we needed to make one more stop. NO!!!!
What had I totally missed and hadn’t considered? Anything and everything dealing with personal care—which included makeup, devices for hair removal, and the list went on and on until I’d complained that if I didn’t have it now after visiting three shops for those types of items, I could pick it up at the next couple of stops the ship made. I had no idea what this hidden side of being a woman entail, but I’d gotten a crash course in it and an assurance she’d help me with it.
In total, this ‘shopping’ experience had cost me fifty-one hundred credits. Being a woman was not only painful at times, but expensive!
I think Cheryl enjoyed our time together, and she did spend a lot of it laughing at me—though politely and as I’d have expected of a long-time friend like her would. For me, I appreciated her acceptance. Getting to do this with her was something I really needed and made me appreciate her more than I could ever begin to tell her.
Once all that bounty from shopping had made it onto the ship, conveyed directly to my stateroom, because I didn’t want the others to see the piles and piles of purchases, I was left with struggling to get it put away. It wasn’t helping that I needed to share my small quarter’s storage space with Garrett or his unorganized method of putting the clothing he’d bought away. Men… Had I been that bad?
“I meant being a captain, not the clothes buying,” he chuckled at me. “Looks like you got the hang of that pretty quickly, though.”
“Hey now, what’s wrong with buying a few things?”
“A few things?” he asked in mock surprise of my question. “I guess nothing is wrong with that, but I doubt unless we’re off the ship I’m going to get to enjoy seeing you in that dress you just hung up,” he complained.
“You never know; maybe I’ll institute a formal dinner policy once a week in the galley?”
“Yeah, I can’t see that guy Cheryl hired as your engineer having anything but a collection of stained coveralls to wear. That man sweats something fierce,” he said, cracking himself up.
I rummaged around in the bag I knew contained some of the lingerie I’d bought, thought better of pulling out any single item, and decided to just throw the entire bag his way. He caught it, maybe thinking I’d bought him something—which I guess, in a way, I sort of did—and watched him poke around in it before giving me a curious look, smiling broadly, setting the bag down on the bed, and approaching me.
“You could have led with putting that stuff away first, you know. I could stand to see you trying on a few of those things,” he said before kissing me.
When we broke the kiss, I was staring at him, maybe a little embarrassed, and certainly blushing. This is right; this feels comfortable, but where’s his head in all of this?
“I could have, but I wanted… I don’t know...” I began, thought better of pushing the conversation in that direction, and said, “Eh, it’s nothing.”
When he gave me a look that might have been wondering what I was about to say, I hugged him to distract him.
“What? You wanted or were wondering something?” he asked softly.
I was slow to answer, and he peeled me away, got me at arm's length to look me in the eyes.
“Wondering, you know… I… We don’t need to talk about this right now,” I said, unable to look at him.
“And if I wanted to talk about it, if I wanted you to know how I’m feeling?”
I hadn’t had a chance to tell him about the transplant and that I had a significant part of Ali inside of me and that the baby, besides being healthy, likely had the three of our DNA’s in its make up. Would he care about that or that I might actually…
“Okay, I’ll start. I’m…,” he began, but I interrupted him.
“Wait… I need you to know something first. Ali…,” I looked to the floor, “She’s in me… No, more accurately, they told me she’s a part of me now.”
I felt my chin being raised, “The transplant?”
“Yes…”
“Are you alright? I know you two were close,” he said, pulling me into a hug. “You’d said both you and the baby were healthy; why didn’t you tell me about this…”
He looked concerned, but not because of the Ali revelation, but because I’d withheld that from him.
I needed to tell him…
“Because I’ve been struggling with whether to stay like this… And I never wanted you to feel like you had to be with me because you were forced into it or now that I’m pregnant,” I huffed, feeling very little confidence I could get to the point I wanted to make. “I feel like, with everything we’ve gone through and what’s coming, growing inside of me, you’re staying with me, us, the baby… I need you to… To know how I feel and it’s that, like, it’s love…”
I waited for an adverse reaction, a sign on his face that I’d surprised him, repulsed him, I wasn’t what he wanted, but there was the beginning of a smile at the corner of his mouth.
“Well that’s a relief, Cam, because I’ve been in love with you from the very beginning…”
Author's note: Might not be able to post the next chapter to this story until the week after Christmas due to other obligations (not to mention I haven't crafted a single word of that - though did bloat this one to fill in some blanks and give you some direction the story was going after the rescue). I apologize in advance for that and will try very hard to get you something as soon as I can, but it could be into the New Year. Happy holidays to you all and thank you for giving this story a chance! Hugz! Rachel...
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If there are problems or you have criticisms you'd like to share privately, feel free to message me on the site (you’ll need an account) or via email ([email protected]) - I'd love to address them if I can and have fixed many an “Oops!” after posting a story (Thanks to All for those assists – very much appreciated). I'm still growing as a storyteller; I'm far from perfect, so any help is much appreciated and valued.
Thanks for reading...
Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: 4046.12
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.13.J (Barrier Zone – sector J)
Garrett and I had level set to each other that we felt something deeper and we both wanted to make a go of it together. The ‘love’ word had been shared freely, and I of course shed some tears while he tried to comfort me. Some of that comforting involved holding me, a few kisses that gave me hope, and of course that led to sensual touching, phenomenal sex, and pillow talk that had a ‘future’ focus to it.
“How far ahead did you see me, us?”
“I don’t know, but you were plenty round in the belly; I remember that for sure,” Garrett said, holding me a little tighter for a moment.
“And that’s the last vision or remembrance you’ve had since we were in the Exhibit Housing? Nothing else after that?” I whined.
“Like I said, the last thing I saw was we were lying in a bed somewhere; you said something about the baby kicking, took my hand, and put it on your belly, and I felt it moving. I don’t know the future date or time, but that’s the last glimpse of the future I had. Why?”
“So, before we left the Exhibit Housing, you saw that? Why didn’t you say anything?” I complained.
“I’m not sure… Sometimes those things were more like dreams than a vision of some event that would happen. I hadn’t thought to share it I guess. I mean, it’ll happen at some point; all those remembrances I had tend to happen. It’s got to be weeks, though, since I’ve had one.”
“I’d like to have known about that one,” I complained. “The Guild probably thought it was important and asked you about those, right?”
“Yeah, but they didn’t seem to care about some random glimpses of you and I. Did they ask you about having visions or seeing the future? I didn’t think any of the women had those, did they?” Garrett asked.
Do I tell him? No… He’s here, he’s real, there’s an ‘us’ now and not some remembrance or vision or precognition. And there’s the baby and I don’t want any of this to change the ‘real’ we have between us in this moment.
“They didn’t, as far as I know,” I replied quietly, lumping myself into the group of women and hoping he wouldn’t press.
“Speaking of future happenings, is this our future—tooling around in space moving goods?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead, but for now I was thinking we could do this until we figure something else out. The baby might dictate settling down or maybe not. There are a lot of credits to be made through freighting goods, don’t knock it.”
“Me? Never… Sounds reasonable though if that’s our plan and I like the sound of credits being added to our accounts… I’m happy to be your male concubine for as long as you’ll have me,” he said, nuzzling his lips on my neck and making me squirm a little as he held me.
If you don’t think I can feel that lump at your hips pressing into my backside you’re not as smart as I thought you were. I couldn’t help but smile having thought that to myself.
“Okay… Okay now…,” I huffed, feeling those beginnings of desire for another round of having him inside of me. He had a way of turning me inside out with such ease! “If you want, I can find something for you to do on the ship,” I began, but stopped as his hand slipped between my legs and I shuddered at the pleasure something so simple gave me.
“I’m good with this,” he whispered, gliding a finger between the very slick lips of my pussy.
“I… I was thinking…,” I reached down to put my hand on his to slow him down, though I really didn’t want him to stop. “You could learn the stations of the ship, like navigation, piloting, communications, the conveyor, and engineering even. It would help to have someone else knowing as much as Cheryl and I on board.”
“Aye Captain,” was his reply before I happily let loose of his hand so he could continue to drive me out of my freaking mind one more time before I needed to leave him to go relieve Cheryl.
Root CGD: 4049.02
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAK.66.R (Chin-ray)
Getting to the planet surface of Chin-ray had been as expected—bumpy and a bit nerve-wracking. We needed to be mindful of not only the layer of satellites that blanketed the outer rim of the planet but also the millions of random space rocks that made up the inner ring—some of those were a kilometer in size and seemingly in their own destructive orbits. It was a gauntlet every ship needed to get through when visiting Chin-ray, unfortunately, and made everyone on the bridge watching it happen live nervous.
Once past those obstacles, we had to fight the unfriendly atmosphere of this planet, which was heavily laden with moisture. The dense air made piloting the ship difficult and required nearly full engine power to slow our descent as the planet surface rushed towards us as if we were about to become yet another cratered ship. Garrett had been shadowing Dee up until we got here, and she was the one who brought us in for a landing—though it looked like she’d been worried about that until the Guild had locked on to the ship and set us down at a designated docking station.
Why the Planetary Guild had invested in this one-off planet as a communications hub was anyone’s guess. It was the second time I’d been to Chin-ray, and while it might have been nice to hang out for a day, I wanted us loaded and out of here quickly. We had a much more lucrative cargo to figure out once we got to Libat III.
“Status?”
“About a third of the twenty-five hundred satellite dishes have been loaded. Max says he’s going to be bleeding power to keep these things secured in their bays,” Cheryl replied.
“I think we’ll manage; we’ve loaded more than this before and not had any issues. What’s the projected weight again?” I asked.
“Two-point-two million kilos… We’ll be pushing it, but I agree we’re well within load tolerances.”
Max was the new engineer Cheryl had hired a little over two years ago to replace David, the one who’d passed after taking that second hit of Senian with the other four male crew members we had at the time. David had been with us for six years and knew every creaking noise this ship made and what it meant. Max was skilled, according to Cheryl; it’s just I didn’t know him well enough yet to trust his judgment when it came to my ship or what I knew I could demand of her.
Even though Cheryl had gotten each of those male crew members into stasis the day I’d been pulled from the ship, none had survived the drug. While eating lunch on Oenic, Cheryl and I had talked about how lucky I’d been to have skipped that second hit of Senian, instead taking that first dose of female hormones. I now had a small grain-sized implant that keeps my hormones well in the ‘female’ zone, even with the craziness pregnancy added to managing those hormones.
I think I could agree I was pretty lucky right now considering the alternative path my life could have taken.
“Time to complete the load?” I asked.
“Rough guess, four hours… Max says the hydrogen leak in the main sequencer line is fixed for now, but we’re going to need that replaced on Libat III when we get there. He says it’s a minimum three-day fix.”
“How’s that going to play with our next client's needs?”
“I doubt they’ll be pleased we’re unable to head out when they’re expecting…”
“Figures… Let’s reach out to them beforehand, give them some warning, and give them an opportunity to make other arrangements if they can’t wait for us to be ready to go. Keep me posted on the loading; I want out of here without any Guild intervention—if you know what I mean.”
“Yes, Captain…”
Root CGD: 4057.96
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAX.04.A (Varino)
We’d gotten out of Chin-ray unscathed and on time but landed on Varino during the one period or season or whatever they called it where the planet was engulfed in one giant dust storm. That made navigating to the warehouse facilities to offload the satellite dishes incredibly difficult for both Cheryl and Dee. It took both of them sitting at the helm to get us on the ground. I’d been taking shifts piloting the ship to get back in the swing of things, but it would have probably ended badly had I tried to land us here today, so I had happily let them manage getting us safely on the ground.
Garrett had been piloting the ship under Cheryl or Dee’s supervision—mine too—and he was turning out to be a natural. I think he enjoyed it, navigating and piloting this beast of a cargo ship. Once you got the hang of it—barring some crazy situations we could run into—the Barrow Gar was an easy ship to pilot. She might not be the sexiest ship out there, but she could be fun to pilot.
I really was enjoying Garrett’s enthusiasm to learn and take on additional responsibility—besides being my male concubine, as he liked to remind me in private. While often monotonous at times, there was joy to be had working on this ship and even a bit of peacefulness. Of course I especially liked that his enthusiasm followed us away from the bridge, when we were alone, so that was an added bonus to working with him.
It hadn’t gone unnoticed by me that while we were pulling shifts together or around the rest of my crew, he never veered from addressing me as “Ma’am” or “Captain”. Garrett doing that validated my position, skill, and experience for managing this ship's operation. I valued that as much as his loving me and the…
“Captain…”
I could tell by Cheryl’s tone coming through the speaker there was a problem: “Go…”
“I’m being told we’re short one technician on the delivery, and we’re going to be docked twenty percent unless we return to Chin-ray to secure him and bring him back.”
“No…”
“No? What are you thinking, Ma’am?” she asked, confused.
“No, as in we’re not getting docked, and we’re not about to waste sixteen days ferrying some idiot back here when he should have been loaded with the satellite dishes in the first place. We’ve got other business to attend to and maintenance that would make that trip all but impossible,” I complained, knowing full well she knew all of that already.
“Understood… Let me send Commander Perry up there so you can work that out with him directly.”
Fuck! The way she’d said that meant Perry was likely standing there listening to one side of the conversation she’d just had with me.
“I’ll convey him up… Out...”
I got up from my command chair, located the signature for Commander Perry standing next to Cheryl in the cargo hold, locked onto him, and conveyed him to the bridge.
“Commander… How can I assist you?”
“Captain Ferris?” he asked, looking at Garrett sitting at the helm before looking towards me after Garrett pointed my way.
What an Idiot! I just spoke to you…
“Captain Ferris, I’m a—I’m Commander Perry, LST 1 Station Section Communications Specialist in charge,” he said, walking towards me, extending his hand, and shaking my offered hand politely, if not a bit weakly.
This is going to suck and this guy is going to just piss me off more than I already am!
“My first officer says your loadmaster on Chin-ray neglected to procure and store an asset needed for the installation of your cargo,” I stated.
“Not exactly…”
He knew that wasn’t the exact conversation Cheryl and I had just had, but it was what I was holding onto for the moment.
“Care to explain how your load master and supply chiefs on Chin-ray both forgot to make a technician available along with these dishes we’re delivering?” I asked, smiling innocently and trying to not sound annoyed.
“Well, that’s not… You see the technician hadn’t realized your ship was…,” Perry began saying, but I interrupted him.
“I have a very tight schedule I’m working with, and docking my delivery fee and requiring me to make a sixteen-day round trip to secure your asset—which your people didn’t make available—isn’t something I’m prepared to accept.”
“I’m sure it’s not what you want to…,” he didn’t get to finish his rebuttal.
“You’re right, it’s not what I want, and I’m not going to…,” and this time I was interrupted.
“Those dishes, they’re the DCS33’s, right?” Garrett asked.
“DCS44’s actually a couple model years newer,” Perry replied.
I gave Garrett a look and a slight head nod, ‘No.’.
“What’s your technician doing for you, Commander?” Garrett asked.
“Standard installs to the BEPS modules, well actually—training my guys to do that,” was his reply.
“No software upgrades? Not that that couldn’t be done asymmetrically via carrier link after the BEPS system is brought online,” Garrett asked and answered, I thought.
“Correct, as far as I know… Who are you exactly? You seem to know a lot about our systems,” Perry queried.
“I’ve got a few years of experience with setting up the DCS33s; I’m sure I can get your staff over the hump and your 44s connected to the BEPS,” Garrett said, turning to look at me. “Captain, I can do that while you’re handling the other items on our schedule if that’s acceptable.”
No! Not what I want, and besides that I’m not leaving you here!
“A moment,” I said to Garrett and headed to the small ready room off the bridge.
When we were inside and the door closed, he spoke first, because the look on my face told him I wasn’t pleased.
“Look, I don’t want to get stuck here without you, but it solves the issue with your schedule and keeps the Guild happy. Plus we don’t get docked twenty percent; how’s that not a good thing?”
“Not the point… Well, okay, some of… I’m not; no, I don’t want to leave you here. Perry can kiss my ass!” I barked.
“Come on, Cam, you know this makes sense… They’ve got twenty-five hundred of these things to set up. I can train them, hang out, and sat-link you every day. Then after your Libat III run, you come pick me up, or I catch some Guild supply ship to meet you somewhere. What I’m out of your sight, twelve to twenty CGD’s day at the most,” he said, reaching out to take my shoulders for a moment before pulling me into a hug.
No! This is not what I wanted!
Root CGD: 4064.24
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CBA.53.D (Libat III)
“You’re joking; tell me you’re joking…”
“I wish I was, Captain, but that’s the going rate for the part,” Max stated.
Fuck! Sixty thousand credits for a fucking sequencer hose or line or whatever the fuck he’d just told me it was! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
“How long?” I growled as politely as I could manage given the hit we were about to take.
“I can have it done in three days…” he replied.
“I need it done in two,” I complained.
“I can hire someone to help me with it; it might cost an additional ten thousand credits though...”
I looked at Cheryl, who hadn’t said anything since this conversation started and she sort of shrugged her approval. Alternated plan…
“Tell you what, you get it done in two days for seventy-K, and I’ll bump you ten-K for your efforts. But this fix doesn’t go sideways for six CGD months, or I pull back that ten-K, deal?” I asked.
Max’s smile said everything, and he disappeared after a quick and somewhat satisfying, “Yes, Captain…”
I looked at Cheryl, who looked pleased.
“He’s not getting shore leave, no time with the fix needing to get done. I felt like I needed to make it up to him, plus if he gets the job done in two days—golden, right?” I asked.
“You made the right choice; I’d have done the same or something similar. Look, stress isn’t good for babies… I know you’ve been on edge since we left Garrett on Varino, even with him calling a couple of times a day. How about I meet with our client tonight? I’ll take Alex as muscle, and you just relax,” Cheryl replied.
“No, I’m going, and I’d like to dress up, feel a little bit more human, and less like this ship’s captain. Can you help me with that?”
Her smile was all the answer I needed.
Root CGD: 4064.74
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CBA.53.D (Libat III)
It took three hours of concentrated effort for Cheryl to get me made up to meet our client at a local cantina. Cheryl had trimmed my hair, helped me style it, and done some form of alien magic applying makeup so that my face didn’t look so tired and bland. Some people might even say I looked borderline pretty at the moment.
When I finally got a look at myself I was totally shocked at the image staring back at me. Cheryl had coordinated everything I needed to wear, and once I was fully dressed the full-body halo mirror in my stateroom kept me from speaking for an entire minute. If I needed to explain an out-of-body experience, this person looking back at me would qualify as such.
“How did you do…,” I couldn’t finish my sentence before my voice cracked, and I could feel the tears welling.
“Wait! No, no, no crying! Happy thoughts! A lot of money on the line tonight! Think about counting all those credits!” Cheryl said from behind me. “You do look beautiful, Cam, and this dress does show off very nice legs… But don’t cry, damn you! It’ll ruin everything.”
When Tommy and Alex, our muscle that would be shadowing us tonight, saw us both dressed and ready to go, there was no mistaking we’d made an impression on the both of them. It was absolutely an ego kick to be thought of as desirable, or as Cheryl had said once she’d gotten dressed, ‘We are a couple of hot babes tonight!’
I might have complained about feeling fat or looking bloated, but she assured me I looked amazing and no one would look at me and think, pregnant lady coming through.
Cheryl and I had entered the cantina ahead of Tommy and Alex who waited five minutes before coming in and take up a position close by. Once she and I had made our way through the crowd to a table near the back, Cheryl ordered herself a drink and me some kind of herbal tea concoction that made it look like I was also drinking, but there was not alcohol involved with mine. Drinks delivered, we both had a view of the entry and could see Tommy and Alex after they’d come in. With as crowded as the place was, I was happy each of us was armed with a small concealed plasma weapon – if things went sideways.
Just another typical shady nighttime rendezvous on Libat III.
“They’re here…,” Cheryl said leaning in close, over the noise of the crowd.
I picked them up quickly, two men, one wearing some kind of cloak-robe-like garment that hid his entire head and face. When they noticed Cheryl, they headed our way.
“Ladies… Is Captain Ferris joining us?”
“This is Captain Ferris,” Cheryl stated.
He looked surprised, but maybe he’d checked into me and wasn’t expecting I’d changed a bit.
“May I?” he asked, display for us a small scanning device in his hand.
I nodded, and he pointed it at me discreetly, looked to be reading the screen, and eventually smiled.
“Nice to meet you, Captain Ferris. You’ve changed a little according to the bio-linear scan; is this new?” the more normally clothed of the two men asked me.
“Is that going to be an issue?” I challenged.
“Of course not, your ship's reputation is well known and suited for our needs. I’m Jake, and this is Keagan,” he said, offering his hand, which I took.
Keagan didn’t move, so I didn’t offer to shake his hand. I couldn’t see his face very well, and I didn’t like that he was obviously trying to hide his appearance from us. We didn’t have fancy scanners to tell who these two were, but they were paying for discretion, and in the end, a credit was a credit—as long as we weren’t caught.
“I’ll get us a couple of ales and be right back,” Jake said as Keagan finally decided to move and sat across from me.
Four minutes passed, and nothing was said at the table, but I got the sense Cheryl didn’t know this Keagan guy and had only been dealing with Jake. When Jake returned, he placed the ales on the table, sat, and did a quick look around the cantina.
“You brought a few of your crew with you,” Jake said casually.
“I gave them shore leave; they walked in just before you did,” I replied.
“Everyone is armed,” he said, smiling.
“When isn’t someone armed on Libat III?” I chuckled.
“True, very true,” Jake said, laughing as if he meant it.
I gave Cheryl a quick glance and then looked back at our clients before asking, “Alright, what are we doing here?”
That statement got movement out of Keagan, and I tensed up as he reached up and pushed the cloak from his head… I could only stare and felt something in my stomach flutter. Alright, that’s an attractive-looking guy. Very…
“We need to transport a two-by-two meter Hannal box to Theta-Spect,” Keagan said.
“Guild sensors will pick that up half a galaxy away… Can’t help you,” I stated, not able to take my eyes off of Keagan.
“It’s shielded and won’t be a problem,” he replied.
“I’d need to see it and test your shielding,” I stated, and I saw out of the corner of my eye that Cheryl was nodding in agreement.
“We can arrange that,” Jake said after setting his mug of ale down after taking a sip.
“On second thought, a Hannal box—a Guild-controlled and regulated metal on its own, going to Theta-Spect—a known rebel-sympathizing planet last I’d heard… Yeah, I'm not sure I’m interested in making that kind of run,” I said and began to stand.
Keagan’s hand flashed out across the table and gently covered mine before I could even consider pulling it away. Something about his touch stopped me dead in my attempt to stand, and I just stared at him, waiting for him to either say something or move his… No… Oh fuck! This, it couldn’t…
I finally saw what I was missing in the man sitting across from me and shuddered. I’m sure by the look on his face he felt me doing that after having recognized the small V-shaped scar on his hand. My head snapped back up to take in his face. I recognized the jaw line, the lips, the brown mustache… What the fuck is going on here?!
“You alright, Captain?” Keagan asked. “I don’t often get this kind of a reaction from a beautiful woman.”
I slid my hand out from under his, took Cheryl’s arm, and said shakily, “We need a moment…”
Root CGD: 4064.89
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CBA.53.D (Libat III)
“You’re kind of freaking me out right now, Cam… What do you mean, ‘That is him’?” Cheryl complained inside of the women’s bathroom at me.
“I’ve, I… I’ve seen him before,” I whispered.
“Okay, but this,” she said, swirling her palm in front of me, “is a whole lot more than an ‘I’ve seen him before’ reaction. What is going on?”
I motioned for her to switch to speaking via our wrist communicators in ‘masked mode,’ and we now looked like two women standing silently in the bathroom to anyone entering or leaving. I told her quickly about not only seeing Keagan but being with him completely.
“Wait, ‘with him’? Like, with him, with him—sex with him?”
“Yes…”
“How is that even possible? You think you saw some future with him in a vision? Look, I have had some pretty intense and realistic dreams; are you sure that’s not what’s happening here? I mean he’s good looking and all, but some on, this guy?” Cheryl asked.
“The visions happened; Garrett saw me as I am now—even months along in my pregnancy. The other men saw their coupled partners, but none of the women did. I have to believe what I saw wasn’t some dream and some kind of precognition,” I complained.
“You realize you weren’t exactly male when you had these ‘visions’…”
“I get that, though biologically I am, though I got heavily kicked toward being female, I guess.”
“You said your doctor told you your brain changed to be more ‘female’ due to the hormones; maybe full-on men saw their future love interests, and you being in-between got a garbled version?”
“Maybe… I feel like I need to see where this goes with him, at least talk with him a little more,” I countered.
“So, we’re taking the job?”
“We’ll let them sweat a little, see where this goes for a few more minutes before deciding,” I said, heading towards the door to rejoin our potential clients.
Root CGD: 4064.93
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CBA.53.D (Libat III)
When we returned to the table, Jake was gone, but Keagan was still there, though his hood had been put back on. Something felt off; I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I scanned the cantina for trouble.
“Where’s your friend?” I asked after we’d sat.
“Unexpected guests arrived, so he slipped out the back. Surprised you didn’t see him pass you, he just left,” Keagan said as if he weren’t all that concerned. “We should probably wrap this up, though; if those guys get wind I was with Jake, they might want to speak with me.”
“We could convey to my ship,” I stated.
That got me a small kick under the table from Cheryl, and when I looked at her, she didn’t look happy.
“Let’s not draw unneeded attention to the Barrow Gar,” he said while looking over a shoulder and then back at me.
“Alright…” I said not seeing anyone paying us any attention other than Tommy and Alex—though they were doing that subtly.
“When can your ship be ready to leave?” Keagan asked.
“We haven’t established our fee yet; we’re in the middle of a repair that will keep us grounded for two CDG days, and I want to test your shielding before I even consider the job.”
“That’s problematic, the two days. Any flexibility in that?”
“Only if you have a nuke engineer at your disposal I could borrow.”
“I might, for a price, of course,” he was smiling at me under his cloak. “I can assure you the shielding on our box is in place—it’s currently within three, eight, or maybe two kilometers of where we’re sitting, and there’s no indication the Guild has any idea it’s here.”
Really? You’re smiling at me about the Guild not having detected your box? You aren’t cute, and I’m beginning to not like you.
“You’ve got people inside the Guild. Who doesn’t? I’ll make a discreet inquiry,” I countered.
“I’d prefer you not do that,” he said, looking to Cheryl for a moment and back to me. “We’re prepared to give you half of your fee upfront and the rest upon delivery.”
“No… All up front, and the fee is six hundred thousand credits—Mendoria credits.”
“Ah, Mendoria credits… Difficult to come by and worth a premium compared to the standard Guild coinage. I can offer you three hundred, half upfront and the rest on delivery.”
He hadn’t choked on my Mendoria credits request and knew they were worth twice to three times the Guild’s credits typically used in commerce. Counter offer…
“Five, all Mendoria, and all upfront, or we’re going to have to pass,” I said as deadpan as I could muster.
He was studying me, obviously trying to read whether my final number was in fact my final number.
“Time to Theta-Spect?” he asked.
“Cheryl, what four CGD days?” I asked, not looking at her.
“No more than four, unless we run into pirates or the Guild,” she replied.
“We’ll see neither; I can promise you that,” he said.
“We’ll? You’re coming with us?” I asked.
“For 500K in Mendoria credits upfront and my Hannal box, yes. I won’t need anything but quarters you offer any of your crew to sleep and some food.”
“We can provide you those things.”
“Very well, and I can provide your engineer assistance,” he said, standing. “Shall we find a quieter place to convey out of here?”
Root CGD: 4065.51
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CBA.53.D (Libat III)
We’d gotten back to the ship late last night and by all accounts hadn’t raised any Guild suspicions. Cheryl had seen to getting Keagan settled, getting him a bunk in the crew’s quarters before she joined me in my stateroom afterwards.
“I’m not sure I like this guy,” she’d begun, “And all this memory stuff you told me about having with him, that’s just strange, right?”
“I know, but all of it, every memory or vision, was of some guy who I know had feelings for me, maybe even loved me,” I countered.
“Yeah, and isn’t that guy Garrett?” Cheryl complained.
Of course it was Garrett who had my heart, but how did Keagan fit in? I could argue those visions with Keagan made it easier for me to accept being a woman, maybe even introducing me to the pleasure of being a woman. Ugh!
“Yes, and I know this is confusing, but I need to follow this path a little to see if I can understand all these memories I’ve had with him.”
“What’s to understand?”
“Why I was seeing him in those visions and not seeing Garrett, though they mirrored what Garrett and I were doing together most of the time. Garrett and the other men held with us all had these visions of their partners before they showed up and various glimpses of their partners in the future too… Garrett told me one of the last ones he’d had while we were captive was of us lying together and feeling the baby moving in my big belly.”
“Look, Keagan Being here is a bad idea, Cam. It’s not too late to pass on this job, especially with the added danger of a Hannal box! You have to see that, right?” she’d asked, though sounding more like she was pleading with me to hear her.
“I do, and I fully understand the risks our cargo poses, but the credits for such a simple run if that box is truly shielded and we can get through to Theta-Spect without being accosted? I really don’t think we can pass up this opportunity. We could maybe get a hold of his shielding method for future smuggling if it truly works, and we could open up some potentially lucrative runs.”
“How far are you willing to go with Keagan?” Cheryl asked, softening her tone.
“Go? No, no, no, I’m not doing anything with this guy, other than the job we signed up for and to satiate my curiosity as to why I’ve been seeing him in my head for months. Come on, Cheryl, the actual guy from my visions or remembrances shows up here in all of the worlds and galaxies the two of us could be in simultaneously and you want me to believe that’s simply a coincidence? No, I’m exploring this and going to see if I can get some answers,” I stated as confidently as I could.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” It was the last thing she’d said before exiting my room last night.
I hadn’t slept very well last night; my usual habit of falling asleep quickly due to being tired all the time from being pregnant hadn’t happened, and I was paying for staying up too late. Garrett not being here likely played a part in not being able to get comfortable in bed alone. I had spent a few hours last night trying to categorize and remember those instances, visions, where Keagan had been with me.
It took longer than expected to eventually realize the key to what I felt with him when we were together was that I was actually with Garrett. Physically, Garrett was standing in for Keagan, no matter the situation those visions put me in with him or my emotional state while seeing myself with Keagan. Garrett was a part of the puzzle, and what we had shared was real.
I’d have a vision of myself straddling Keagan’s body, believing I could feel him inside of me, his hands on my breasts encouraging me to let loose and bask in what I was feeling—but none of that was real. What was real—every time the mist of those visions would fade, Garrett would be physically there, holding me, making love to me, and filling my soul with a joy and calm I’d never thought could exist.
How was that even possible? How was he…
I looked up to see the monitor at my door had chimed, and Keagan was standing there. I wasn’t sure I had the energy to deal with him right now, but I felt a spark at seeing he was at the door…
“Come!” I said softly, and the door to my room opened. “What can I do for you, Keagan?”
“I’m trying to coordinate your inspection of the shielding on the Hannal box. What’s your schedule looking like, Captain?”
“I’m free right now,” I said, standing, feeling confused and on edge that the man I’d seen in my mind so many times was actually standing in front of me.
“Excellent… If we can convey a few kilometers from where we were last night and make our way back towards the city center, I can get you that look at the box.”
“Okay… Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
“If you wish,” he replied.
“I don’t need to know what we’re transporting; it’s none of my business, but a Hannal box? I get its ability to hide what’s inside from all scanning technology available to us, but the material itself is actively scanned for by the Guild. Most of the shielding attempts I’ve ever seen aren’t foolproof. Seems like transporting whatever you’ve got in that box could be done out in the open with less risk.”
“Excellent points, but Hannal has an added strength—containing that which is put inside of it once sealed.”
“So we’re transporting something potentially volatile?” I asked with an edge in my tone.
“Not volatile in the explosive sense, but potentially to life forms in its raw state without significant processing,” he replied casually.
“Had I thought to ask last night in the cantina, I would have doubled my fee. My first officer is advising me we could make easier coin doing other things with our time.”
“Likely you could, I’m hoping this isn’t a renegotiation attempt…”
I nodded it wasn’t.
“As to your fee, we would have paid twice the amount agreed upon had you asked,” he said, smiling. “We could be doing this run again soon, and if you deliver on your ship's reputation, we might be amenable to doubling the fee for your services the next time. Some good news in regards to the repair: Max and I have gotten everything torn apart. He should have the part in hand by the time we return, and with any luck, we could be out of here late tonight or early in the morning.”
Did I trust this guy? No, but I wanted to for some damn reason. Just looking at him, listening to him, and seeing his mannerisms and facial expressions had me questioning what I’d told Cheryl last night about not ‘doing’ anything with this guy. I wanted to touch him, have him touch me like in those remembrances, to feel what I felt while seeing him…
“Shall we go?” he asked.
Root CGD: 4065.70
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CBA.53.D (Libat III)
I had Cheryl convey Keagan and me to a location across town from the cantina we’d met at last night. He’d said it would be a bit of a walk, but I’d told him I was up for it—at least until it started to rain; now I wished we’d have conveyed closer to where we were going. We’d been walking in silence for close to ten minutes when Keagan took my hand and stopped us in front of a shop. I have no doubt the look on my face showed I hadn’t expected him to do that.
Why didn’t I want him to let go of my hand or hadn’t taken it from him?
“Just look at the display… I’m being told we’re being followed,” he said softly next to my ear.
I suppressed the urge to look around, instead getting my left hand over to my right to engage my wrist communications device in masked mode to speak to Cheryl. I did that partly because we needed to know if there were threats out there, but also to distract myself from feeling his breath warm on my neck.
“Keagan is telling me we’re being followed,” I thought and waited for Cheryl to reply.
“I’m not seeing anyone down there that looks to be following you or even transmitting anything…”
“We’ve got nothing,” I said to Keagan.
He was silently looking into the store's window, obviously listening to whatever person he was in communications with.
“Four shops down, two of them, on the other side of the cruise way… They’re a couple, holding hands, but definitely Guild agents,” Keagan replied.
“I have them; let me track them… Okay, they conveyed onto the street you’re on after you’d crossed that last alleyway. Something isn’t right with their signatures; I can’t track them to their conveyor origination point, so that can’t be good,” Cheryl stated.
I relayed what she’d said quietly to Keagan. He nodded but was staring at me, obviously paying attention to whomever he was talking to in his ear. I watched as he moved to standing behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and leaned in to kiss my neck.
“We need to move before they send others,” he said.
I know he felt me shiver slightly and I lightly put my hands over his.
“Convey out of here?” I asked.
“No, we go inside and wait for help.”
“Help?”
“Come on,” he said, taking my hand and leading us into the store.
“Are they moving, Cheryl?” I asked.
“No, but I’ve got another couple of guys coming from the other direction with invalid conveyor signatures,” she stated.
I told Keagan, but he continued to guide me towards the back of the shop.
“Cam, a large delivery hovercraft, is rounding the corner in the alleyway behind the shop you’re in. Let me convey you both out of there,” she said sounding mildly panicked.
“Hold,” I said, looking at Keagan. “We’ve got company about to be out back of this shop. Maybe a Guild transport craft…”
He was ignoring me, looking over his shoulder to the front of the shop and then back at me.
“Now,” I heard him saying as we were conveyed from the shop to some kind of craft that was rumbling slowly on a cushion of air. “Portable conveyor, your first officer just told you about this craft. Contingent plan, but we’re not staying for the rest of the ride,” he stated.
As if on cue, we were conveyed to a street I recognized as being close to the cantina we’d met in last night. Keagan still had a hold of my hand, but I was… I saw him looking at me smiling, saying something, but I couldn’t hear him exactly, and then I saw his lips coming closer to mine. Was he going to kiss…
“Quickly, this way,” he said snapping me out of that vision, leading me, not letting go of my hand.
We entered a rundown cantina and headed towards the back of it, through doors that lead into the kitchen, and out the back door to an alleyway. In the alleyway he stopped to look at me for a brief moment, and then headed to the door across from the one we’d just exited. We entered and were now in a small storeroom now; it looked familiar, and he was smiling at me.
“You saw this happening, didn’t you?” he asked.
“What? Saw what?” I choked the questions out a bit surprised he knew what he was asking.
He began to lean in towards my face, but before he could kiss me, I turned away and snatched my hand from his and barked at him, “What the fuck, Keagan?!
“You were part of their program; you know full well what I’m talking about, Cam.”
“Program? Have you lost your mind?” I complained.
“Tell me you didn’t see me leaning in to kiss you before it happened,” he said.
“Cheryl, do you have me?” I thought knowing he couldn’t hear me talking with her.
There was no reply, and that meant my wrist communicator was being jammed. Fuck!
“Who are you? How did you know I saw you about to kiss me?” I asked, unable to move.
“Someone trying to limit the Guild’s use of that technology…”
[---]
Author's note: Life is getting in the way of completing this story. Yes, it's going to come to an end and there will be some loose ends tied up into decent bows, but your imagination is going to be called on to firm up some of the future Cam ends up living. Getting you to a stopping point is going to take a couple more chapters - and even that's not going to be the full Cam story - so expect down the wormhole I'll pick up her journey in another series. Until then, next weeks chapter might be delayed a week because of life's unavoidable demands. I apologize for that and want you to know I'm working as hard as I can to get this series completed. I hope you'll stick around. Thank you and BIG Hugz! Rachel...
::: --- :::
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If there are problems or you have criticisms you'd like to share privately, feel free to message me on the site (you’ll need an account) or via email ([email protected]) - I'd love to address them if I can and have fixed many an “Oops!” after posting a story (Thanks to All for those assists – very much appreciated). I'm still growing as a storyteller; I'm far from perfect, so any help is much appreciated and valued.
Thanks for reading...
Rachel M. Moore
Root CGD: 4065.70
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CBA.53.D (Libat III)
"What technology are you talking about?! I wasn’t part of some program other than what those sick beings were doing to us! No... I want to know how you knew I saw that you were about to kiss me before it even...," I began asking but stopped when that train of thought seemed confusing even to me as I was trying to arrange his statements into some clearer understanding of what was going on.
None of this vision stuff ever made sense to me, and it had been a very long while since I’d even had one. He couldn’t possibly have known I’d seen he was about to kiss me unless he’d planted that memory somehow, right? I’m missing something, a key to how he was able to…
"Look at your right hand," Keagan said.
I slowly turned my hand palm up, and there appeared to be a small oily-looking stain on it. I panicked!
"What is this?!" I screamed at him, wiping my hand on my pant leg vigorously. "Did you poison me? Why would you do that to me?!"
"You're looking at a completely organic oil-based absorption method for the chemical compound CPC-1, or as the Planetary Guild likes to call it—Conveyed Precognitive Catalyst-1. We believe those beings from Lyone, under the supervision of the Guild, were giving you CPC-1 to make it possible for you and the others held in those facilities to have visions, glimpses of possible futures."
"You... You should have told me before you did that to me! What...,” I couldn't continue and began shaking, chilled by the thought that the baby within me could be harmed now by this drug or that it could even lead to terminating its life.
I felt the tears welling…
"You ingesting the CPC-1 with the transport oil will do no harm to your unborn child; I can promise you that. The absorption method isn't the polyfluoroalkyl chemical they were using on Lyone. That harmful chemical was used to get the CPC-1 and various others inside of you, but also to promote the eventual miscarriages," Keagan stated calmly to reassure me he hadn't put my baby in harm's way.
"I don't give a...,” I began saying before I needed to wipe my eyes on my sleeve to stem them from leaking further.
The look on his face after I was finished slowed any further complaining I was about to do—he looked like he cared about what he’d done, or maybe there was some other concern he had, like feeling bad about what had been done to me on Lyone.
“You still should have told me," I whispered when I felt I could speak again.
"I'm sorry, but we needed to see for ourselves and weren’t sure you’d agree to a test of your capabilities to see into the future. There’s a race going on to figure out how the CPC-1 binds to the subject's brain when they are conveyed, which allows for precognition of future events or what you and the others that were interviewed called 'visions' or 'remembrances.'. We've seen your interviews with the Guild prefects and the evaluations of the doctors on Oenic and those from the other survivors."
"So, you've had them yourself? How was I in one of yours?" I asked and saw him nodding.
"Yes, I've also had visions that involved you. Out on the cruise, way before we entered that store, I'd seen my attempt to kiss you and you refusing. So, I knew I would be trying to do that before it happened – just like those visions you’ve had Cam."
"How and why?"
"I'm a man; the CPC-1 only seems to work on the male brain in conjunction with being recently conveyed. During the particle conveyor’s disassembly of the body for transport from one location to another, the CPC-1 we believe is allowing the brain to see not only the current timeline but possible future ones as well. We, along with the Guild scientists, think we could potentially see futures not directly connected to us if we knew how to look for them. It’s theoretical yet, but there’s a possibility we could see into the future if we can harness the CPC-1 and the conveying process. It’ll take practice and experimentation."
"No... It's got to be more involved than that; it has to be. Yes, I was conveyed on Lyone, but I didn’t have visions so quickly, not like this one. One of those,” I paused, “That with you became real with, well, without you they were made real by surrogate means. Damn it, that’s like crazy…”
“CPC-1 has been refined and modified, especially over the past month. Your system is also less polluted with whatever else they were giving you while being held. We’re now seeing nearly instant recall of some future event being available to the subject shortly after being conveyed, the event approaching triggers the vision, so the foresight,” Keagan replied.
“Why me? How were you seeing me and I you? No one, to my knowledge, saw us being rescued or some other events or futures that weren’t related to someone we were connected to while on Lyone… Connected with emotionally, deeply," I pressed.
“We understand that, but the emotional connection is just one thread the brain could tap into, we believe—so does the Guild by the way. The running theory is there are threads out there, but we need to understand how CPC-1 worked within you. You’re sort of a hybrid woman at the moment, and the effects of the hormones you’ve been given have significantly altered the way your brain works.
“The other men only saw women in their visions, but you saw me. No woman that has been interviewed mentioned having them, the visions, at all. If we can understand why that is, then maybe CPC-1 could be made to work on women, and they’d have a better chance at seeing those potential future timelines. Think of those threads as choices—follow ‘A’ thread, get ‘Y’ result, but getting the choice to choose which you follow would be a powerful advantage to have to controlling your future or future of others.
“That’s why we need to counter any Guild attempt to harness that ability; their track record and having such foresight to control events, events that once set in motion can’t be undone, is dangerous to all races of beings. I know the doctors told you there were differences between the sex’s brains; we think if we can understand how yours allowed this offshoot of what’s been typical with CPC-1 use, we could finally get there.”
We were both silent, he was giving me a moment to digest what he’d said thus far, and when I didn’t have anything to say he took a step towards me, reached out and took my hand again.
“Did you see anything else, anything at all besides the attempt to kiss you?”
I wanted to take my hand back but something in his eyes, the way he was speaking to me felt like there was something else I should have seen.
“No… Was there more I should have seen?” I asked.
“Possibly…”
“You realize, well… I’m not going to see everything, neither are you. It never worked that way for me or anyone else. We got quick glimpses, not entire swaths of potentially shared time or futures.”
“I understand, but this formulation of CPC-1, it’s different and you should have seen more than the kiss,” he said softly.
I pulled my hand back slowly, “But, I don’t know you… How was I even seeing you in the first place? Were you held in one of their facilities, and were we meant to be coupled at some point?”
Keagan was slow to answer and looked visibly troubled. "No, but we do have our own connection. Allison..."
"Ali? You knew Ali?" I asked, shocked.
"I did; we... We had been together for almost a year before she went missing," he offered with a hint of regret, maybe even pain that he was sharing that with me, judging by his tone.
"I'm... I'm so sorry..."
Root CGD: 4065.75
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CBA.53.D (Libat III)
Keagan answered most of the questions I had about CPC-1 and the Guild’s involvement with those beings from Lyone using us as a source of food. He was gentle with me while talking about the miscarriages, but the point he wanted to make was that it had been done on purpose, and CPC-1 could have been studied without anyone losing their babies or lives for not complying with the demands of our hosts.
The Guild’s abducting us, and the methods they’d used to test CPC-1 were unnecessary he told me. They had chosen Lyone, and our unborn children were the price paid to have that research done out of sight. There was a cost to those beings also, the battle waged before our rescue had decimated a large swath of their ancestral lands, and way of life.
“Are you saying they're nearly extinct?” I asked.
“Nearly… A small price for the Guild to pay for potentially controlling the future,” Keagan said.
“That’s insanity, but I can’t say I’m sad about that given what they did to us…”
“What they were ‘allow’ to do by the Guild. Much of what the Guild does and we allow them to get away with is insane, Cam…”
The questions Keagan couldn’t answer, I got the sense he really didn’t have an answer to them or would be misleading me by offering a guess/opinion.
We did argue briefly about whether the Guild was truly involved with the abductions—I still found that very difficult to believe. He assured me they were, saying he had no reason to lie about it and could provide proof. I’d have to be willing to work with him, let his team further test my abilities with the newer version of CPC-1, and he’d be happy to get me access to the proof. Until then I’d have to take his word for it.
I was still trying to decide if I trusted him.
His request to test me though stalled our conversation, and I told him I was done being caged or studied. He shared with me his being confused as to why I hadn’t drawn more of the Guild’s attention, especially after my debrief session and there being indications a hybrid such as myself might mean there was a greater chance at a breakthrough. After he’d gotten a look at the data the Guild had on me, the Ali connection made perfect sense as to why he was having visions involving me when they tested CPC-1 on him. That was the reason he’d sought me out.
I asked if we were still going to be needed for his smuggling run and got that it was a lure to get access to me. He knew if he’d come straight out and told Cheryl about his and my connection, she’d have tried to protect me from getting caught up in this mess after all I’d been through. The last thing he shared, after I’d asked, was that he didn’t know of a way to fully shield anything made of Hannal.
“Well, that kind of blows my hope for any future smuggling of Hannal,” I quipped.
“Yeah, sorry about that, but I needed to tempt you with that idea of a ‘future’ use of Hannal in the course of your off-books business ventures,” Keagan said with a slight chuckle.
“You’re jamming my wrist communicator; that’s going to cause Cheryl some worry.”
“Apologies for that, but I needed this time alone with you, and the Guild showing up, I believe, is because they were tracking us through that connection.”
“What’s next?” I asked.
“Obviously the Guild is going to want to talk with you,” he began, but I interrupted him.
“Because of you… You realize I wasn’t kidding about being done with ‘cages’ or ‘tests’ being run on me.”
“Yes, again, I apologize for that also. Look, they’ll want to know what I wanted; tell them as little as you can, but don’t think you can lie or deceive them—they’ll be able to detect that. Be truthful, just not willing to fully disclose more than you have to. It’s not worth being held longer than necessary, and they will hold you without promise of release until they are satisfied. Trust me, they know what we’re trying to do anyway, just not what a key to this mystery you might have ended up being.”
“Alright, so that’s it? No pressuring me to comply to your testing? I just walk out that door?” I asked.
“Yes, we’re not in the business of harming people, Cam. You were a long shot anyway, while promising, your chances of showing us the way was slim. I realize that now after speaking to you and will pass that on. You won’t walk out the door though, I’ll be conveyed out, and after that you can reach out to Cheryl to convey you to your ship. Can I… Would you mind if I asked you one final question?”
I nodded.
“Are you happy with Garrett?”
Why were you asking me that?!
Keagan’s connection to Ali certainly explained a lot of these visions I’d had of him and me together, but having him in the flesh before me, I wasn’t feeling that same attraction I felt for Garrett. Garrett had fulfilled the physical connection where Keagan had just been a vision of something that eventually happened between Garrett and me. My heart told me in this moment my future was with Garrett, not Keagan.
“I am… I know you loved Ali; I can feel that from all you’ve shared about her with me, but I’m not Ali. I loved her too; she was so kind to me when I first arrived on Lyone and was a very good friend of mine. She’ll be a part of me for the foreseeable future,” I answered softly.
“I can see bits of her in you… I know that likely doesn’t make sense, but I feel her within you.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that, but I knew with certainty this man wasn’t the one for me. Why? I wasn’t really sure, but other than a few flutters I had regarding his appearance and knowing what pleasures those glimpses gave me physically with Garrett, I knew where my heart belonged.
I also wasn’t sure I wanted to be with someone solely focused on thwarting the Guild at every turn. Sure they were a monolithic pain in the ass for every being, culture, and discovered world out there, but Keagan and I would have nothing to bond us.
I smiled, stuck my hand out before saying, “I’ll take that compliment, thank you. I’d say it’s been a pleasure, Keagan, but what’s coming is likely not going to be a lot of fun.”
“The pleasure was all mine… Cheryl knows how to reach Jake; he’ll know how to contact me if you need something down the line or change your mind about helping us,” he said, releasing my hand and heading for the door we’d come in.
Keagan hadn’t taken two steps before he was conveyed out of the room.
With my wrist communicator still in masked mode, I thought, “Cheryl, can you lock on me?”
“Yes, Captain, we’ll be waiting for you…”
She sounded like she was stressed, and I certainly caught the meaning of her saying, ‘We’ll be waiting for you…’ That meant we had company on the ship already. Damn it!
“Understood, convey me up…”
Root CGD: 4067.22
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CBA.53.D (Libat III)
I’d been held and interrogated by Guild agents for two CGD days, part of which included a full medical evaluation, before they decided to release me. I did what Keagan had said to do and told them the truth; I just didn’t expand on my answers to the questions they asked unless pressed, and even then tried to limit what I shared.
“I’ve answered that question already,” I’d shouted at the Guild agent sitting across from me.
“And we can tell you’re being truthful; thank you for that, but there’s indication by our monitors that you’re withholding information.”
“Then ask a different damn question! I don’t know what it is you want from me. I’m being honest and forthright with you, right?”
“You are… Did you have a physical relationship with Keagan?”
“No! There were visions that involved him and me being intimate, but we never were together in the physical sense. I told doctor Baker that during his reviewing of my test results after being rescued while on Oenic. I told the same thing to whomever that doctor was I saw yesterday,” I complained.
“You were followed and avoided capture for nearly two hours. Are you saying you didn’t act on those visions you had with him?”
“No… I told you, he used me to test CPC-1.”
“Why?”
“I really don’t know exactly… Probably to see if whatever this newer form of the compound worked differently on me? Maybe he was trying to see if I’d have a vision of liking him?”
“And did it, ‘work’?”
“Yes, almost instantly after we’d conveyed to some buildings storeroom. I saw he was going to try and kiss me.”
“And during that time in this storeroom, you did not become physical with him?”
“Asked and answered… No, I did not have any physical contact with him other than his holding my hand and my shaking of his hand before he left me,” I said, knowing I sounded angry. “Look, I need to pee. Can I do that, please?”
After they allowed me to use the bathroom, I was brought to a different interrogation room, but this time there was a woman doing the questioning. I was asked the same questions, gave the same answers all over again, and after another two hours of that, I was left alone for nearly an hour before she returned to inform me I would be released.
It was time stolen from my life by the Guild; I’d never get back, but at least I was free!
Root CGD: 4076.13
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAX.04.A (Caspia Aurora)
“You look tired…”
I smiled, caressed Garrett’s face, and kissed him lightly.
“Been a rough couple of days, I told you that,” I said afterwards.
“I shouldn’t have volunteered to help them with those satellite dishes on Varino,” he complained.
“If I remember correctly, someone tried to wave you off; I probably could have gotten us out of having to go get their technician if you’d given me a little more time to beat up on that guy.”
“Aye, Captain… Won’t happen again, ma’am,” he said, smiling.
“Better not…”
“So, the baby is healthy, no issues?” he asked.
I told him I’d been examined as part of the interrogation I underwent on Libat III after we’d picked him up from Varino. We were now in orbit over Caspia Aurora on a run to deliver grain starts, fertilizer, and other food generation supplies. Of course we also were carrying enough alcohol to last the outpost below us for at least six CGD months. I’m sure those from my crew down there on a day’s leave would help put a dent in that supply—if not smuggle some idiotic quantity of it aboard for their own private use.
Garrett got the full story of the second interrogation, including every detail I’d been told about the examination and that our baby was healthy. The most comforting news delivered was that the natal connection of the umbilical cord looked almost completely healed, according to the doctor I’d seen. I got the sense he was relieved as I was about that.
I told him the reason for the second run-in with the Guild was due to our client being a wanted man. Garrett hadn’t liked that, but I told him half the business we did moving freight was with people of questionable morals, and he’d better get used to it.
I wasn’t sure why he was asking about the baby’s health again, so pressed.
“I told you that already; are you worried?” I asked, looking deeply into his eyes.
“Until our baby is in our hands, I’m going to worry, Cam,” he replied softly. “Can you feel him?”
“Him? Please don’t tell me you had a vision and we’re having a boy,” I said, trying to get him to stay focused on my eyes and giving him a serious glare because I didn’t want any more ‘vision’ surprises EVER.
“No, I told you the last vision I had. I just… I want to experience that, feel him or her kicking.”
“I’m only about eleven weeks along; I won’t feel anything for probably twice that,” I said soothingly. “And what made you think we were having a boy in the first place?”
“I said ‘him or her’… Though you know I’m the decider of that, at least that’s what I understand.”
“Computer!” I called out, “Which parent influences what gender a baby will be?”
A woman’s sterile voice replied from my desk area, “The gender for a human child is determined by its father. Male sperm cells transmit either the Y or X chromosome, while the female egg only carries the X chromosome.”
“Didn’t trust me, eh?” he asked, placing a hand on the barely there tiny bump-out at my belly.
“Never said that…,” I replied with maybe a bit of a pout on my face.
I could feel his hand slowly slipping lower while our eyes were locked on one another.
“Miss me?” I whispered.
“Maybe…”
Root CGD: 4076.62
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAX.04.A (Caspia Aurora)
Garrett making love to me never disappointed, and as far as I could tell, he felt the same way. Something about this particular session was different, though, more fulfilling, more…
“That was enjoyable,” he whispered in my ear while he was spooning me from behind. “Almost felt like you might have missed me more than I missed you.”
Of course I missed him, but what had just happened between us had felt more than our usual meaningful expression of our love for one another while having sex. There was a feeling of liberation I felt afterwards while coming down from an intense climax that had me shaking as the waves of ecstasy rolled over me multiple times.
I couldn’t put a finger on why I felt that right away. I mean, I got all the sexual highs I always got, and I felt in his release he’d gotten his fair share too. My own climax had more to it, though, an unexpected sense of comfort, an expression of deeper love if that was even possible, and a sense of being the real me with someone I loved. I was happy for that and wouldn’t ever complain, but it was a bit...
Shit! Was it because I’d finally come to understand Keagan wasn’t the one for me? Was I really all Garrett’s, freely and unencumbered now? There’d be no more veiled worry about being attracted to…
“Cam?”
“Yes… I, ah, I missed you, and that was… It was very special to me too, more than I can even begin to explain,” I replied softly.
“Why do I sense there’s something more going on?”
I needed to come clean…
“No… I, I do have something I need to tell you though...”
“You know you can tell me anything, right? Was it something I’ve done or didn’t do?”
He sounded worried, and that’s not what I wanted him feeling after arguably the perfect session of lovemaking we’d had since our first time together in the holding pens on Lyone.
“The Guild, I told you, was after Keagan. He… Look, this is going to be hard to understand, but I need you to believe me when I tell you that I’m in love with you like I’ve never been with anyone,” I whispered, but rolled over to face him so he could see my face, the sincerity of my words.
“I love you too, but this doesn’t sound good…”
“It’s confusing, but the end result of all that’s happened to me is I see my future clearer now. You and our baby—that’s my future; that’s where I want to focus my love and my life going forward,” I stated, but I was worried I sounded like I was pleading my case with him.
Was I going about this backwards?
“Alright, so tell me where he fits into all of this. I assume we’re talking about Keagan for a reason,” Garrett replied evenly.
“You know I had those same visions as the other men did, right? Well, mine… Look, this isn’t… Okay, it’s hard for me to admit because you were always there physically and…”
“Just spit it out, Cam.”
“My visions and remembrances weren’t of you, though each lined up physically with something you’d done with me. Like, like this one time you’d turned my head towards you and kissed me. I saw that, but couldn’t see that it was you I was kissing.”
“You never saw my face?” he asked, confused.
“Right, the man doing that was physically always you, but not in my visions. You were the one who said things to me, did things for me, but the visions were… They weren’t ever you.”
“Not Keagan?” he asked skeptically.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I never told you. I just thought it was some random guy I’d never meet, and I hated I hadn’t told you, but I fell in love with you and… It didn’t matter what I foresaw because I had you and the baby, and I was happier than I’d ever been,” I moaned as tears began falling from my eyes and I leaned my forehead against his chest while hugging him tightly.
Garrett didn’t speak for several seconds, and just as I was about to say something, he said, “Relax… I kind of assumed you were seeing me all that time, but I guess that explains a few of those times I thought we were disconnected.”
“I… I don’t want… To be disconnected... I huffed through sobbing into his chest.
“Well, neither do I, so unless this story has something more to it, I think we’ll be alright, don’t you?”
He was so understanding of my neglecting to tell him the truth it only made the hurt and shame I felt harder to bear. If I had told him, would we have ended up where we are today? If, as Keagan and the Guild were trying to prove, those given CPC-1 could see possible futures and choose one, I would have chosen Garrett. Yes… Absolutely!
“I only want you,” I finally croaked while trying to stem my sobbing.
“It’s alright, Cam. I’m fine, and I think I know you well enough to know you’re telling me the truth, so I’m not mad or worried. I’d like to have known sooner, but this has helped me know I’ve made the right choice.”
We hadn’t spoken for easily two minutes before I said, “I’d never seen his face, but he had a small scar on his hand, and that’s kind of how I put it together…”
“Was he held captive, and were you possibly meant to be coupled with him at some point?”
“No… That’s, wow, ah… He knew actually, he... Ali.”
“Our Ali?” he asked, surprised, and pushing me away a little to look at me closer.
“I know… That’s crazy, right?”
“It is… Did he have visions involving you?”
There was mild concern in his voice, but I was determined to tell him everything.
“He’s part of whatever rebel research group that is testing something they were giving us in the Exhibit Housing. He took what they call CPC-1 and had visions of me…”
“How could that be? Wait, ah, that’s right, Ali… Wow, the odds wouldn’t favor you two actually meeting in a billion CGD years.”
“I know… That’s why I feel so lucky to have you.”
“And I’m happy to have you and the baby,” he said, slowly rising.
I wasn’t sure why he was getting up, but I did enjoy seeing his backside strutting across the room. I watched him fiddle with something in a drawer and return.
“Look, I’ve been anxious to… Okay, so this isn’t how I wanted to do this, but I’m sure I couldn’t love someone more or envision a future with anyone else,” he said softly and paused to see if I understood—I didn’t. “I’d like us to be united, coupled forever if you’ll…”
He didn’t get to finish asking before I was kissing him, sobbing, and being surprised by the ring he had produced. He’d just said something about making the right choice and I’d completely missed that!
Root CGD: 4280.02
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.R (City of Oenic)
Zenia was more diligent than I had been with keeping in contact with us over the past nearly seven CGD months. We had sat-link calls at least once every month, but the last call from her had been holographic last week, and when I answered it, she was smiling and holding a baby in her arms. I might have screamed a bit in joy, cried a little because that just seemed to be my go-to of late, and since we were delivering a shipment of parts and lubricants to the Meridional Plannata of orbital planets close to Carillion V, the ship made a slight detour so we could see her and her newborn son, Michael.
Being here with Zen, instead of what we’d been doing the past seven months straight delivering goods, me being uncomfortable pregnant and waddling around, crying for no reason – this, this right now is what I wanted to be doing with the baby I was carrying. I wanted to focus on my baby, not jumping around the outer realms of space.
I’d held Michael yesterday, but the awe I felt doing it today was compounded, and I might have shed a few tears yet again. He was beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
“I meant to ask yesterday, why Michael?”
“My father’s name… He passed a while back, and I always liked it,” Zen replied.
“He’s perfect…,” I whispered.
“Yeah, I’m pretty lucky… A week old now, and he both sleeps through the night and eats like I’m starving him. My breasts are sore!”
“Great, yet another thing I have to look forward to…”
“You look great! Come on, it can’t be that bad..."
“I’m fat and ugly and ache…”
“You’re pregnant and you look amazing, beautiful while pregnant. I’m sure you’ve heard that from your man a few times…”
“Okay, yes, but I think he needs corrective eye surgery. And besides, I can list all my complaints about being pregnant if you want. How much time do you have? I’ve got a long list of them—in fact, this baby wouldn’t be happening if I’d known a tenth of what I’d have to have dealt with these past months,” I complained.
“I don’t believe that for a second,” she said, smiling back at me.
“Okay, a third of it…” I said, smiling down at the baby in my arms.
I did want this pregnancy to be over with and doubted very much if I would ever do this again.
“You’ll have yours soon enough, and all those pains will be long forgotten, at least until you decide you want to have another one.”
“Don’t count on there being a second…“
“How’s Garrett been dealing with all this? He looked like the proud papa-to-be when you both came by yesterday.”
“He’s really good, though I think when I go into labor, he’s not going to be happy about me yelling at him or not being able to take away the pain. I’ve had a couple instances of false labor, and he absolutely is pained, panicky. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, ‘Breath Cam…’ Like I’m going to not breath?!”
Zenia was laughing, and it was good to see her enjoying our time together, even at my expense. I missed her, missed talking with her, and wished I’d made a point of seeing her more.
“I know you’re coupled now, so it’s official. Can I ask if that means you’ve given up any ideas you might have had about going back?” she asked.
Going back, reverting to my former… I hadn’t thought about that since Garrett asked me to be coupled with him.
“Ah… So it’s not been something you’ve thought about much… Good for you; I think you’ll come to realize you’ve made the right choice,” she said smiling.
I had made the right choice, though on occasion something would bite me in the ass I wouldn’t see coming as a woman and would have handled differently as my former self. How I ran my ship and business was certainly different. In truth I was probably doing a better job of both as a woman, though I had put many a man or alien being in their place when they thought they were trying to get one over on me.
“If I can get past birthing this little monster inside of me and they’re half as beautiful as Michael, then I might agree with you.”
“Any further run-ins with the Guild? Keagan?” she asked.
I’d told her the story about Keagan months ago, and much like the idea of reverting back to my former self, Keagan was someone I hadn’t thought about for a while.
“The closest I’ve been to anyone from the Guild was an inspection of some machine parts we were delivering a few months ago. As for Keagan, I’d heard about some conflicts on Theta-Spect, and I wondered if he was involved with any of that,” I answered thoughtfully.
“No more visions, well, since that one you had with him?”
“None, and I’m thankful for that. You?”
“No, the only vision stuff I have now is brought on by the smell of my son and knowing I need to change him,” she said all giggles.
“Good answer… So, work was good the last time we talked. How long do you have time away, and what will you do with Michael when you have to go back?”
“I get the first two years of his life off, though I need to keep current in training and certifications—all things I can do from home. I’m guessing your employer doesn’t have something like that?”
“She’s a bitch…,” I chuckled. “Actually, I’m not sure what we’re going to do after the baby arrives. Garrett’s gotten a taste of running the ship and likes it, not that I’d ever replace Cheryl as my second, mind you, but she’s talked about buying her own ship at some point. Maybe we put the baby and me someplace, and he does short hops delivering things on a more local basis, like a day or two max round trip from wherever we call home.”
“You might consider Carillion V as a home base; Oenic is a big enough city in this sector to keep your ship busy with any of the surrounding cities on any number of the planets close by. It would be fun to have our kids know one another. I know there are several units in this building for rent,” she said, smiling.
“It would be something to consider and I’d like nothing more than being close to you two… Hey, you hear from Liam? You haven’t mentioned him in a few months.”
“Funny you should ask… I got his first Guild-mandated support payment of five thousand credits two days ago. Outside of that, nothing, and truthfully I’m fine with that.”
“I’m sorry…,” I said, standing and bringing Michael over to where she was sitting. “I’m going to guess this stirring and minor fusing is someone getting hungry.”
“You’d be correct,” she said, taking him, undoing a clasp on the dress she was wearing to expose her breast beneath it and make it available to him. “Don’t freak out if yours doesn’t latch on right away; it’s a very common thing. They will not starve themselves—though you’ll probably have to deal with a lot of howling until they figure it out. That’s if your baby doesn’t get it right away. Still not interested in knowing the gender?” Zenia asked.
“No, we want to be surprised. Though on our last visit the doctor about slipped, and now Garrett is convinced it’s a boy.”
“Got any names yet?”
“I told you I was pushing for Allison if it’s a girl… Did I tell you Garrett wants to name a boy after his grandfather, Garth? Me, I just want healthy and problem-free. I remember being a real challenge for my parents when I was younger.”
“Are they talking to you any more now?”
“It’s been better; neither of them fully accepts this version of me, but I think they’re both bending that stance a little because of the baby and not wanting to miss out. I think my dad secretly likes Garrett...”
We talked about nothing important, other than babies, for the next hour. We commented that neither of us had heard from any of the others we’d been held with since we’d all split up. It made us a little sad, but also appreciative of what we had in regards to our friendship. I left shortly afterwards but had to promise I’d bring our baby back for a visit because she doubted she would have the means to travel to wherever we had ours.
“You’re likely about two weeks away from delivering… Unless you want to do that out in deep space and without a doctor, you’re going to want to be close to civilization,” she told me, after hugging me and seeing me to the door.
“Our next couple runs won’t be anything in the Metagalactic realms or worse. I’ll let you know when I’ve got my own bundle of troubles.”
“Thanks for coming by, Cam. Stay safe until then and promise me you’ll be back…”
“I promise…”
::: --- :::
Author's note: Don't ask me how I managed this chapter, but I did. The next will be a shorty and the final in this slice of life that's been Cam's journey from male to deciding whether to stick it out as a woman.
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Thanks for reading...
Rachel M. Moore
[--- FINAL CHAPTER ---]
Root CGD: 4291.81
CinT Ark Loc: Y2BCD.85.L (Kenopi – Outpost J)
We'd planned, before leaving Carillion V and Zenia behind in the city of Oenic, our next two delivery schedules. The idea being we'd be back for maintenance a CGD week before my actual due date and stay a week after delivering the baby before needing to get back to our demanding delivery schedule. Those plans were of course contingent on not having any issues crop up. During those two weeks we were in Oenic we were scheduled to upgrade our array of long-range sensors; they were several years out of date, along with doing general tasks to stay ahead of potential issues that I thought needed attention around the ship.
No section of the ship would be immune to getting a once-over. All the necessary parts had been ordered and would be waiting for us in Oenic when we returned. They were paid for, and all we needed to do now was make the ship available to the technicians, once back, so the work could begin. The prospect of some extended shore leave had helped quell the crew’s annoyance at having to do maintenance and deep cleaning around the ship.
Our going back to Carillion V was purely a 'baby' driven decision, and I'm sure that annoyed a few of the male crew members who weren’t interested in the grunt work maintenance involved once we got there next week. It bothered me I got that feeling from them when I’d announced my plan, especially since a few of them looked to Cheryl to confirm she was on board with my directive. I probably shouldn’t have let it bother me, but it did. Garrett was pretty sure two of the guys were probably not going to be with the ship after the baby arrived and would be looking for another ship to join during that time.
Fine by me… Get your own damn ship, and then you can make your own rules!
My hope had been I’d be delivering the baby in Oenic and Zen would be around to keep me from losing my mind during active labor. I'd have Garrett with me too, of course, but since leaving Zen after our visit, he was being overly attentive and a little too protective of anything and everything I did.
I wasn’t sure why, but I think his fawning over me was annoying Cheryl, and it took a lot of crazy to get her spun up. On the bridge one evening she'd put him in his place after I'd said I was going to go get something to eat, and he tried to step in to handle that for me.
“Stay; I’ll go get you something,” Garrett had said.
"The captain is pregnant, not crippled...," she’d snapped.
“I can do it; it’s not a problem, and I need to move anyway; I’ve been sitting too long,” I’d said to try and diffuse the situation.
I asked him later when we were alone to dial back his level of protections when we weren’t alone. I had been worried he'd take that request badly, but he took it in stride and even apologized.
"Whatever you need, Cam...," he’d said. "I just want these last weeks before the baby arrives to be stress-free for you, that’s all."
A benefit of going back to Carillion V, in my mind, meant there would be access to a hospital facility that by all accounts had been good to Zenia. That alone would boost my confidence about being in labor and having competent medical assistance available should I need it. I didn't want to get stuck having a baby in some outer rim outpost clinic with dirt floors and a metallic material roof like I’d seen a few times on the remote planets I’d visited.
I was not confident I knew exactly what was coming in regard to delivering our baby or if I could get through it with just Garrett supporting me. The baby kicked like a Lengorian pack animal, and of late I’d been dealing with increased acid in my stomach—which meant I tried to keep my belly full of bland food items. I was also suffering with getting enough sleep because the baby seemed to be overly active, especially when I wanted to shut down and just relax.
My back hurt no matter what I was doing, and my breasts felt full, tender, and leaked on occasion. I was ready for that part of the pregnancy adventure to be OVER!
Zenia had told me that regardless of where I had the baby, there were enough pain management options available, and I'd barely even know I was delivering my baby when it came down to doing it.
Unfortunately when the contractions started getting closer together and my water broke, the pain felt very much like how this journey to womanhood began in the first place—minus the muscle-tearing feelings I had back during that abduction event a couple of years ago.
So much for making it back to Carillion V and the city of Oenic!
What’s going on down there?
"You're going to feel like you want to push, a fullness that will make you want to push, but I need you to resist that," the nurse between my knees was coaching.
She sounded stressed to me. How’d she know I couldn’t control the urges to push? This is not where I expected to be delivering our baby!!
"You got this, Cam," Garrett whispered.
"Why am I so tired?" I asked, thinking I wanted to shift in the bed to get more comfortable, but I didn’t have the energy to move.
“Drugs, good drugs,” Cheryl giggled.
"Not much longer," the nurse said, engrossed with managing what felt like a cylinder of hover lift-arm lubricant trying to escape my body down there.
Or was it being pushed in? Dang it, I really don’t know, do I? In or out?
"What are you doing? I can feel that, and it kind of hurts," I complained.
"You're doing great," was the nurses reply.
I looked at Garrett. "What's happening?"
"She got the baby’s head," he replied, and my heart soared thinking I’d finally get to meet our baby and this would finally be over, but he added, "The umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby's neck."
That last bit of information was delivered next to my ear and made my heart sink, and I was heading towards outright panic until Cheryl said, "There's nothing to be worried about... Just resist pushing, okay, like the nurse said, Cam... I just peeked; I see a lot of hair."
Cheryl was smiling, and I saw Garrett moving to take a look beyond my knees, and he too was smiling when he saw whatever was going on.
Had I been in a real hospital, I’d have been able to watch what was going on down there on a screen above the bed. Above me currently was a poorly painted metallic roof that had seen better days. Was that a bloodstain or splatter up there?
Where was the damn doctor?! He should have been here by now from whatever outpost he was visiting in whatever remote portion of this planet he was in or doing or ?? A nurse is delivering my baby?!
When we arrived the nurse who greeted us looked panicked that I was in active labor. She had told us the doctor was away setting a broken leg for a miner. I’m sure my face went pale after hearing that, but she was quick to assure me she’d delivered many a baby and I had nothing to worry about.
Nothing to worry about? Lady, you have know idea!
I’m positive, as I could be given I was in a great deal of pain, that Garrett had said something to her. I was likely bent over riding out a contraction, squeezing Cheryl’s hand while he was doing that, so I didn’t hear their conversation or complain that there wasn’t a doctor available or I wanted to be in a real medical facility!
We'd been in this infirmary facility on Kenopi for twenty-eight hours to get to this point – the baby’s head out of me. Before that we made orbit around the planet for our machine parts delivery, and six hours later the contractions started becoming more consistently spaced. Shortly thereafter my water broke. Both Garrett and Cheryl had insisted we convey to this infirmary rather than risk a two CGD day transit back to Oenic, me potentially having to deliver the baby on the ship en route and without medical assistance.
I wasn’t about to have a baby on the ship, so I agreed!
What happened to a woman's first child being typically LATE?! Zenia had told me that, and that's not what happened—I was six days earlier than scheduled! And what happened to having options for pain relief?! I was feeling way more of this than I was prepared for!
What is that burning smell??! Wait, that’s not a burning smell!
"That hurts," I complained again, adding, "Did I just..."
"Yes, it's okay... Zenia said that might happen," Garrett said softly, reassuringly.
I’d just evacuated a small amount of shit while trying not to push. I couldn’t help it, and I felt bad, but I couldn’t not push either, no matter how hard I tried not too! What did the nurse expect? The baby is coming, I can’t stop that!
I wish I could see the hair! Why is this taking so…
"Cam, when I tell you, I want you to push,” the nurse said.
“This is it…,” Garrett said, squeezing my hand.
“So close…,” Cheryl added.
I pushed when told—like I was trying to force my guts out through one or both of those openings down there. I felt a combined pulling motion that slid into almost an instant relief of pressure between my legs and abdomen. Everything below my waist hurt, my brain hurt, my…
I heard the sounds of suction; Garrett was in tears, and Cheryl was looking like she couldn’t hold back tears either. Had something bad just happened?! I saw the nurse holding a lump of flesh, dangling arms and legs covered in a smeared red liquid, a tiny head with a mass of hair, and she was guiding it all towards my chest, laying it there before she went back to her position between my legs.
Everyone was talking to me all at once and full of excitement, but I could only see my baby, that cumulated mass that had kicked and moved within me the past nine GCD months, was finally here, and somehow my arms were cradling it on my bare chest. As much as I had been in awe of Zen’s baby, Michael, my heart was melting at the sight of my baby girl—Allison was finally here.
Root CGD: 4291.93
CinT Ark Loc: Y2BCD.85.L (Kenopi – Outpost J)
According to the nurse, whose name was Camilla and also went by Cam, had to pay attention to which of ‘Cam’ people were speaking too while I was being coached through the birthing process. Camilla told us Ali weighed in at 3.1 kilograms and was 49.1 centimeters in length. She was just shy of the center of the charts for birth weight/length statistics kept by the Guild, and all her tests for hearing and eyesight were normal.
When it came to my baby, I couldn’t get enough of hearing the word ‘normal’ when Nurse Camilla was describing or relaying something about her to me.
I had been stressed that I would have problems with the transplanted reproductive system from Ali and my own body’s male origins would somehow screw up baby Ali. After she’d been placed on my chest, I didn’t want to give her up to a second nurse who was asked by Nurse Camilla to get her cleaned up better. Garrett assured me he wouldn’t leave our daughter's side.
Camilla ended up working between my legs to stitch, with some kind of laser instrument, the tear in my vagina that made birthing possible. I’d actually dozed a few times during the hour she’d spent working on me I was so tired and drugged still. By the time she was done, Garrett and baby Ali were back, and I got to hear her cry for the first time. In the moment, with all I’d gone through, I couldn’t help but sob along with her, though my tears were happy ones.
“Cam, you might want to try feeding Allison,” Camilla said softly while patting something against the raw nerves of my vagina that had me sucking in a quick few breaths while she did that.
Wait, feed her? Feed her… Yes, of course, I…
The second nurse in the infirmary reappeared in time to say, “Here, let me… No, let’s let her father hold her, so we can get your gown undone properly and make sure your nipples are clean…”
Within minutes the sound of Ali crying was all just a memory, and she was latched onto my left breast, suckling happily, as I tried to keep my soft breast tissue from blocking her nostrils as her little mouth worked for sustenance and she strained to breathe while eating.
“You sure you haven’t done this before?” Camilla whispered.
“She’s our first,” Garrett said quietly.
“Well, she’s taken to feeding. She might not be getting the good stuff from you right away, so don’t be surprised if some of this behavior is her trying to comfort herself,” Camilla said, before getting up from between my knees, studying Ali latched on, and then tucking the blanket she was wrapped in around her tiny feet.
Tears welled in my eyes when I looked down at her; the fullness of my heart was like nothing I’d ever experienced before in my life. I looked up at Garrett and smiled, and that made even more tears flow. How was I so lucky?
“You’re going to need to stay hydrated better if you’re going to cry so much,” he said softly, touching Ali’s cheek.
“I… I, ah… I love...,” I couldn’t finish before I was sobbing quietly again.
“We love you too, Cam… Just relax; the hard part is over… Well, at least until she gets older.”
“I never want her to get older…”
“Yeah, she is awful damn cute… Got a set of lungs on her, she let that other nurse know she wasn’t happy while she was cleaning her up.”
“She’s perfect,” I whispered.
“You both are…”
Root CGD: 4295.07
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.76.R (City of Oenic)
Doctor Kurtz had finally decided to make an appearance, and after checking baby Ali, spent time between my legs correcting the work Nurse Camilla had performed stitching up my ‘perineal laceration,’ which was part of a procedure called an episiotomy. He had to explain what that was to me, and I felt woozy during that conversation, but he assured me it was normal and I’d heal without any long-term complications. I was told that once torn, it was something that would happen again if I were to have another child.
Once that was completed, with a mild amount of discomfort, I was told we could be released from the infirmaries care.
“So, we can convey to my ship? There are no restrictions for that with Ali?” I asked.
“Conveying any living being may seem a bit scary, but I can assure you its completely safe, even for infants,” was Kurtz’s reply. “There was research a CGD century ago that was focused on conveying a child from the womb. I’m not sure where they are with that these days, but I’d be leery of it if someone ever offered you such a procedure. Maybe in Allison’s lifetime it will become commonplace; until then, I’d stick with the old-fashioned delivery method you just went through. It’s worked since the beginning of time. Any questions for me before you leave?”
I was about to say ‘No,’ but his comment about having another child and another tearing of my ‘perineal’—whatever that was—came to mind.
“So, if I don’t want to have another child any time soon, is there something I could do?” I asked sheepishly.
“Not have sex, but short of that I can implant a birth control nodule to assist with that. You’ll be able to control it being active or not,” he replied.
“Could you… Please…?”
When that was complete, we didn’t waste time getting out of Kenopi’s orbit and en route to Carillion V and the city of Oenic. The ship had a schedule to keep, and we were a few days behind in getting our maintenance work going. We’d docked the ship at the repair facility, and I turned over management of the ship and work to Cheryl.
I had set up a sat-link call to Zenia to say baby Ali was on her way for a visit to Michael. That, of course, got me a few complaints because she couldn’t see Ali, and then her dropping the call so she could immediately make our connection a holographic one.
“You’re kidding me, right?! I want to see the baby, Cam!” She complained once I’d pulled up the hologram.
“I look terrible,” I complained.
“You look as beautiful as ever,” was the beginning of her reply, but she stopped speaking when she saw Ali. “Oh, Cam… She’s so beautiful...”
Once I’d gotten to Zen’s we chatted for an hour that first night nonstop, and all told we ended up spending most of our time with her and Michael while in the city of Oenic. Between two newborns’ demands for being fed, sleeping, pooping, and, of course, crying because of those needs, I got a firsthand crash course in being an attentive mother. Both babies slept a lot, a testament to them being healthy from gorging on breast milk and then being tired from having full bellies, which meant we had a lot of time to talk.
“I don’t try to tiptoe around Michael or try to be purposely quiet. I think it helps him to sleep better,” Zen had told me that first night we stayed over at her communal housing unit.
“Really? I’ve been so careful around Ali with noises and whatever. I’ll have to just do whatever I need to do and not worry about noises.”
“Well, within reason, Cam. You don’t want to be plasma welding something in the same room,” she giggled.
“Suppose not…”
“How’s Garrett been with her?”
“Oh, he is amazing… He loves nothing more than to sit and hold her… Chokes me up sometimes to see them together,” I said softly.
“I love that… You, ah… Given any thought about more children?”
“Yes… Before we left Kenopi, I’d had the doctor there implant a contraceptive nodule.”
“Not really what I was asking, but okay then – you’re still not sure about staying the way you are now? On the contraceptive front, I’m glad you’re in control of that,” she said, looking as if she had been reminded of something.
“What is it?”
“I’d had one of those before I was abducted. They’d removed it obviously since I’d gotten pregnant all those times… I wonder what would have happened to those…,” her voice faded, and she stopped speaking to rock Michael in her arms when he started to move a little.
“That’s the first time I’ve thought about Lyone since that second Guild run-in I had… I don’t want to think about Ali not being here in my arms had we not made it out of there.”
“Yeah…I’m really glad we made it out of there, though, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have gone crazy if we hadn’t escaped. Okay, enough of that,” she stated firmly before asking, “You still going to take her out into space with the ship? I asked the property authority representative if there were units available to rent and was told there were a few, one on this floor about ten doors down even,” Zenia barfed excitedly.
“I’d like that; I really would, but I really don’t want Ali to be away from Garrett, and business for the next year is looking very lucrative right now. I seriously doubt he’d want to be away from both of us either,” I replied, trying not to sound like I wasn’t aware a ‘ship’ wasn’t as good a place to raise a child as a unit in this build might be.
“You said Cheryl wanted to buy a ship, sell her yours, Garrett gets a job around here doing whatever satellite or communications work for one of the bigger companies, and you and I get a break from life and just be moms.”
“I’d like that; you know I’d like that… But what happens in two years when you go back to work?”
I knew from my last visit she’d been given two years off before needing to go back to work.
“I’ve looked into a nan-droid—a child-rearing android,” she giggled. “Have you seen them lately? You need a damn detector to know some of them aren’t actual humans.”
“Aren’t they required to have an indicator light as to them being powered ‘On’ somewhere on their faces, which clues people into knowing their android units?”
“Yes, but most people cover that up because they think it freaks their kids out or other people. There’s lots of distrust in droids and replicants, I suppose. I don’t get it,” Zenia replied.
“I can’t see turning Ali over to an android to raise her; that’s Garrett’s and my job,” I stated but felt bad about that because she was a single mother at the moment.
“They’re just a tool to help us out… I can see a benefit of something like that for you two if you’re living on the ship.”
Thankfully she didn’t seem to take offense at what I’d said, so I decided to play along a little longer.
“Are they expensive?”
“Not really, but they’ve got different protocols they’re programmed for. Like for babies or a toddler, all the way up to someone who’s senior and needing care.”
“We’ve got droids on the ship, but nothing resembling a humanoid or anything I’d want around Ali for a while…”
Root CGD: 4680.94
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAX.54.A (Varino)
It had been a little over a year and a half since we’d been to Varino delivering those satellite dishes, and it was demanded we return to Chin-ray to ferry their technician back or there’d be penalties. Garrett had stepped in to assist them back then, but for this delivery we had their technician secured before leaving, along with their two thousand dishes. We’d be unloading the rest of the day and be on our way to Libat III for another Guild-contracted shipment of grain starts to a Barrier Zone planet outpost just getting started with their farming efforts near uninhabited space.
“Da da…,” Ali said to me in our stateroom before she waddled to the door, expecting that the door was going to open when she got there.
“Yes, he’s com…” I didn’t get to finish telling her he was on his way before the door slid open and Garrett was reaching down to pick her up.
“There’s my girl…,” he said with all the excited cheer and love a father would know his daughter wanted to hear from him.
“Da da…,” she squealed, hugging him tight.
It never got old seeing him with her or her love for him. She’d turned one year old a few weeks ago, and honestly, I felt like I was missing out on her growing up running this ship and being a full time parent + coupled to a man with his own set of needs. She was growing up so quickly. How could a year have passed already?!
She’d said ‘Da da’ before saying ‘Ma ma,’ and while it stung me a little, how could I not love seeing them together? Whether by accident or maybe he just knew, Garrett never rubbed that fact in my face. Toss that on the pile of reasons I loved him so much.
“How’s it looking in the hold?”
“About half of the dishes are unloaded, so maybe five more hours?”
He’d gotten good at estimating our loading and unloading efforts in regards to time. Cheryl had taught him well.
“Computer…”
“Yes, Captain,” the tinny voice replied from my desk area.
“Send a message to those not on the ship that we’re leaving in four hours…”
A moment later the voice said, “Message sent…”
“Four hours?” Garrett asked setting Ali down, but picked her back up when she started to complain.
“Yeah… If I said five, those away getting drunk would be here fifteen minutes late,” I said with a raised brow.
“Look, I… You know that wasn’t my fault. Cheryl told you she’d bought everyone another round while we were on Monal…”
I knew that, but I was letting him sweat a little after my call to bring those back from the planet’s surface had them showing up about thirty minutes after my requested time they be back. He’d whined a little in his reply, but he was smiling, so I knew he wasn’t that upset about his being in that group of late to return crewmen.
“Ma ma seep,” Ali said to Garrett after grabbing his face to say that to him.
“Okay?” he said looking over her, to me.
I shrugged, “Yeah, I was thinking about getting in a nap, for an hour, if you can keep an eye on her.”
“Ma ma seep, seep,” Ali said again waving at me.
Garrett walked over to me, kissed me lightly—which prompted Ali to want to do the same—before setting her down, taking her hand, and saying, “Alright, baby girl, let’s go see what Auntie Cheryl is doing…”
“Anny Serry…”
“Love you…,” he called over a shoulder as they walked out.
“Ove ou Ma ma…,” Ali called.
“Be good…” I said as the door closed.
SLEEP!
Root CGD: 5021.57
CinT Ark Loc: Y2CAL.36.W (Marris Wormhole)
Every trip we made through the Marris Wormhole had me on edge these days. If some alien craft conveyed me off this ship like they’d done previously, I’d deal with it, but if anything happened to Ali, I’d spend every waking moment I had left in my life making the Guild pay. They’d supposedly been involved the last time that happened to me, according to Keagan, and had done so using conveyor technology those beings on Lyone had developed, which allowed for me to be conveyed through the wormhole.
A seemingly impossible feat? Yeah, until it happens to you and you end up becoming a woman after all that!
Until this morning it had been business as usual, that is until a sat-link call came through our back channel account came in. We got calls that way all the time asking us to ‘move x-illegal cargo,’ but those were initiated by like back channel accounts—to keep everyone hidden and anonymous.
“Captain… I think we’re being called by Zenia on Carillion V, back channel,” Cheryl had called down to my stateroom.
“Really? She’s out in the open?” I asked to make sure I understood.
“Off-sector… I’m doing what I can to jam her origination point and keep curious parties from listening in.”
Okay, something was wrong. I’d called Zen last week to tell her we were heading her way in two weeks. My heart sank…
“I’ll take it down here,” I said to Cheryl, flipping a tablet setting to make it so I could pick up her call.
Several clicks later, which I knew was Cheryl’s jamming efforts being the reason for that, I heard Zenia asking, “Cam?”
“Everything alright?” I replied worriedly.
“I’m not sure… Michael is, well,” she began, but stopped speaking immediately.
I could hear the worry in those few words she spoke and then her crying softly.
“Hey… Zen, what’s going on? What can we do to help?” I said confidently, while running the numbers in my head for what it would take for us to get to Carillion V and the city of Oenic—four days; that depended on a few factors outside of my control, though.
When she didn’t answer, I said, “Slow breaths… Start from the beginning; we got you, you know that. Tell me what’s going on with Michael.”
“Tttthank you, Ccam,” she choked out, and I could tell she was trying her best to compose herself.
“We’re here for you both, always,” I encouraged.
“I... I know...,” she huffed. “I… I didn’t notice this at first or think much about it, but he’s talking so much more now, and I thought it was just gibberish or him parroting something back at me…”
“Oh, you should hear Ali! She talks so much Zen, like a little person, and she’s got plenty to say, believe me! Where did the past two years go?” I complained lightheartedly.
“Do you… I mean, does she say things that concern you?”
“No, not that I’ve noticed or given much thought about. What’s going on, Zen?” I asked, now concerned maybe I was missing something serious in the behavior of my own child.
“He told me I was going to call you, Cam, just now before I did it,” she said with as much concern as her last question had contained.
“Zen, we talk all the time, that’s not really that out of…” I stopped speaking because what I’d just thought gave me a chill and I had to pause to think about what she was really trying to tell me.
“Ali’s doing it too, to some extent, isn’t she?”
“We don’t want to talk like this, Zen. Do you understand?” I stated and noticed my hands were shaking.
“I… Yes, I do. I agree…”
“Good, we’re,” I thought about the numbers again, “Four CGD days from you, and maybe we should be there. Can you lay low for that long?”
“I’m back to work at the hospital. I’ve got Tuni watching him…”
“Tuni, is she shut down?”
“She’s in the other room; she might be recharging or doing laundry…”
Shit! Tuni was Zen’s humanoid in-home assistant android. Any appliance like Tuni was connected and monitored—it was entirely possible it was listening to one side of this conversation! Crap!
“Okay, this conversation is over—don’t say anything more. Go, pull the power cell on Tuni, and then figure out a real human to watch Michael until we get there if you need to work or can’t take time off…”
“You’re scaring me, Cam…”
“I’m afraid too Zen! If I’m hearing you correctly – our babies might be in danger. Be prepared to disappear when we get there; we might need to go to ground someplace people won’t be looking for us. Watch your back, Zen...”
As soon as she was disconnected, I headed to the bridge and told Cheryl we needed to get this run we were on done and headed to Carillion V. I didn’t get a bunch of questions or complaints, just a simple, “Yes, Captain…Dee, let’s move this girl moving a little faster. Bring the intermediate-level nuke turbines online, three-quarters power.”
I set my wrist communicator to masked mode and reached out to Garrett somewhere on the ship with Ali.
“Hey, what’s up?” He asked already in masked mode himself so those around him couldn’t hear this conversation.
“Can you meet me in our room? See if Tommy can watch Ali for a few minutes.
“This doesn’t sound good…”
“It’s not. Zen just reached out.”
“Really? Ali just said something about Zenia.”
“What? What did she say?”
“Something… We were playing, and I went, ‘Boo!’ to her, and she said, ‘No, Daddy, Auntie Zena is scary’d’. Something like that. I didn’t think anything of it, but…” He stopped speaking.
“In our room…”
“On my way,” he replied.
Root CGD: 5021.63
CinT Ark Loc: Y2CAL.36.W (Marris Wormhole)
I explained the call from Zen and what I thought was going on.
“Did she say that? Like, exactly what Michael was saying about future events?”
“Were you not listening? The call she made, he told her she’d be doing it…”
“Okay, so what are you saying?”
“I’m saying Ali and Michael might both be seeing… Seeing or having visions of future events, like we did while on Lyone, but maybe how Keagan thought might be possible.”
“How can that be, Cam? Neither of them is ingesting whatever that CP-1 chemical was,” Garrett countered.
“CPC-1, and would they have to be if the chemical modification occurred in us and their DNA is lined up in such a way it’s making that possible?” I countered.
“Wait, how… No, that can’t be.”
“Zenia and Ali had been given those chemicals and others for years, years! Are you saying it couldn’t have altered something within them, and then through conception, with men who were also getting all those chemicals, wouldn’t double down somehow and give our children that ability without the need of the chemical?”
“That seems like, well… Okay, maybe it’s possible, but Ali isn’t recanting stuff like that, is she?”
“You just told me Ali told you Zen was scared! How isn’t that the same as what I just got from Zen on the call about Michael?” I complained.
“I had just scared her, Cam,” he complained.
“I know… What about when we’re talking before one or the other of us leaves this room and she says, ‘Kiss kiss…’?”
“That’s not a vision, Cam. She knows kissing is an expression of love, and we do that all the time.”
“Alright, she told me you’d cut your hand last week helping Max in the power plant cooling tank retrofit. Not in so many words, but ‘Daddy oowly’ is pretty damn close to ‘Daddy cut himself’ and you did show up shortly after that with a cut.”
“I don’t think that’s it at all, Cam.”
“Fine… We’re heading to Libat III and dumping this load as quickly as possible before heading to Carillion V. Let’s see what kind of things our daughter has to say to us until we get there in the next four CGD days.”
Root CGD: 5023.55
CinT Ark Loc: Y2CAL.36.W (Barrier Zone – Sector 3)
“What’s Daddy doing, Ali?”
“I no know…”
“Where is Daddy?”
“Ships, Annie Serry gone…” Ali said while coloring on her tablet with fingers, not really paying much attention to me.
“He’s with Auntie Cheryl?”
“No… See, Momma, colors.”
“It’s beautiful, baby. Can you tell me where Daddy is?”
“Ships,” she said, looking back to her tablet, her feet swinging freely while sitting in the chair at my desk.
In my head I heard Garrett say, “I am on the ship, and I was with Cheryl like twenty minutes ago. That’s hardly a vision of the future.”
I thought, “Yeah, well maybe she just doesn’t know how to control it yet or verbalize what she’s seeing.”
Again in my head I hear, “Hmmuph, long shot Cam and I’m not…” He stopped speaking when Ali began speaking.
“Daddy, come see colors…”
“Ali, do you want Daddy to come see your colors?” I asked.
“That’s not the question to ask her, Cam,” I heard in my head.
“What a quesing is?” Ali asked focused on the tablet, then pulled at the display to give the drawing she was coloring dimension like a hologram might make it appear.
I thought, “Oh really? How and why would she ask that?”
“She knows we’re talking because she can see the wrist communicator… Total random idea of hers,” I heard him saying in my head.
I thought, “Whatever… Come get your daughter.”
“Daddy, get Ali, come?” She said, turning to smile at me and leaving the desk to stand by the door.
Root CGD: 5023.55
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.S (City of Oenic)
“He told me I was going to ‘spill’ something, and I spent the next hour careful of my glass of water so I wouldn’t spill it,” Zen explained.
“What exactly did he say?” I asked sitting in her living room area on the couch across from where she was sitting.
“I think it was, ‘Mommy spills’. Not what I’d spill or when or how, nothing like that,” Zen shared.
“And did you eventually spill something?” Garrett asked, walking in after he’d checked on the kids.
“Yeah, the breakfast grains from the food replicator… I grabbed the container, turned to get the bowl behind me to put some in it, and I hadn’t noticed Michael was standing there. In my attempt to not knock him over, I tipped the container, and some of the grains spilled out. He just looked at me smiling as if saying he’d told me so. Nothing like that is happening with Ali?” she asked.
“It is to some extent,” I began saying, but Garrett interjected.
“I think it’s accidental, and we’re so focused on this right now it’s got us all paranoid and thinking it’s happening with Ali, but she’s just supposing or guessing or being silly while talking,” he concluded. “Plus, women didn’t have the vision stuff like the men did while we were confined, so I’d be careful with thinking she’s doing what Michael—a male—is doing.”
Both Zenia and I shook our heads; we knew we were women, mothers; and had a completely different connection with our children than a man would.
“Want to explain how I saw things?” I challenged.
“You said Keagan called you a ‘hybrid’ male. I’m sure there’s something to that,” he stopped talking because he didn’t want to emphasize the point that I’d been born male, but through being abducted and getting a women’s reproductive system installed, it kind of made me exactly that—a hybrid.
“What kinds of things did you first notice?” Zen asked me.
“Knowing something was going to happen with someone before it did. Like, we’d be in our room and she’d know Garrett was coming or someone else was going too appeared at our door,” I replied.
“Not every time, Cam,” Garrett complained.
“No, but not every word out of her mouth should be expected to be some prediction of a future event either,” I pointed out. “I believe she’s doing it without much focus on voicing those visions, but maybe Michael is.”
“He’s being a kid and sprinkling that stuff into his talking with me, sometimes others,” Zen said.
“That’s my biggest fear: someone other than us hearing what they’re saying and that gets back to the Guild. They’d come for them and us possibly,” I whispered, feeling suddenly nervous.
“I’m not going back to a cage, Cam,” Zenia said just barely above a whisper.
“Then let’s plan what we’re going to do about that,” Garrett said with more confidence than I’m sure either Zenia or I felt at the moment.
Root CGD: 5029.01
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.S (City of Oenic)
Every planet had an underbelly and Carillion V was certainly no different. We needed that seedy element to complete a critical part of our plan to go ‘off-section’. Not just with the creation of new identities, but deep manipulation of our very DNA signatures recorded with the Guild. The changing of their records would make tracking who we were by any Guild agency or entity virtually impossible. All told – we were into masking our identities to the tune of 1.2 million credits for the five of us.
More credits would be bled from our accounts.
The next thing I needed was to be out from under the owning of my ship. Cheryl, even with several backers, couldn’t afford the market rate for the Barrow Gar, but she offered for perpetuity a payment of one-hundred thousand credits to an account connected to my new identity every month. I was taking a leap of faith agreeing to this transaction – but she’d proven time and time again to have my best interests at heart, not to mention she was the one to put up a bounty for tracking me down and had instigated saving us from Lyone.
The last thing we needed to do was contract with three other smugglers a complex route of interceptions of those ships in open space so we could be conveyed from one ship to another, until it had happened three times, and we’d finally be conveyed to the surface of a planet of our choosing.
With Zenia’s buy-in we’d chosen the planet…
“We good to go?”
“We are Captain,” Cheryl replied.
“Not my ship any longer, Captain, I’m just a guest on it you’re transporting for a fee,” I replied, choking up a little.
Cheryl stepped closer to get her arms around me and we both lost it on the bridge. A moment later Dee had her arms around the two of us and all three of us were crying like blithering idiots. It took a long time before any of us could speak and when we did the things we told one another brought on additional fits of sobbing. That dance of tear drops and heart wrenching good-bye’s went on for thirty minutes.
Thankfully Cheryl and Dee recovered enough to get this adventure underway.
“Dee… Let’s get us out of here and rendezvoused with the first ship, you have the coordinates?” Cheryl asked.
“I do Captain,” was her reply.
“Impulse thrusters until we’re clear of the docking station, then punch it…”
I could only marvel at the professionalism of these two women, knowing I’d helped shape them probably as much as they’d both made me a better woman, mother, and human being. I was going to miss all of this, but keeping my family and my extended family safe was now my focus.
Root CGD: 5033.01
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAX.88.P (Outer rims of Caspia Aurora)
“Mama trow out… No back trow out, Mama” Ali said to me as I picked up something from my desk.
I looked at her frowning at me; she already knew what I was doing. I just gave her a smile and then looked at Tommy.
“I’ll be just a couple minutes… Something I need to do before I leave,” I said to him.
“Anything you need Captain… I, well… I wanted to say it’s been a pleasure serving under you Madame.”
‘Madame’? That made me feel every bit of the thirty two years I was.
“Thanks Tommy, watch over Cheryl for me with that same spirit…”
“I will…”
I turned to the door and was off to find Garrett. He’d just finished saying good-bye to Max in engineering and I caught him in the hallway on his way back to our room.
“Come with me…”
“One last romp in the stores pantry?” he asked all grins and eager stupid look on his face.
“As much as I could use that distraction, no,” I said trying to smile.
I led him to the purge chute, the ships facility for garbage disposal that would incinerate all our waste and blow the ashes out into space. At the panel I slapped the large open button, the door opened, and as was protocol there’d be a need to tell the bridge what was going on – but I’d already handled that with Cheryl.
I turned to Garrett and he looked worried, speaking quickly to ask me, “Ah, what are we doing here, Cam?”
“I love you more than anything in this entire expanse of space and beyond, you know that, right?”
He nodded and began to say something, but I held up a hand, “I’m yours, all of me is yours, and nothing will ever change that. This is the disk which contains my original DNA sample taken by Cheryl before my first female hormone injection.”
I tossed it into the room, punched the door close button, and looked at him smiling. He got it, knew what this last trip around the ship together was all about. Seeing his smile I pushed the incinerate button and the room glowed a bright red for a fraction of a second. When complete I pushed the secondary outer hull door button to release the charred remains of the tiny disk out into space.
“No going back now… I wouldn’t want to, not with all you’ve given me, and could give us in the future,” I whispered taking his hips and pulling him into a hug that became a passionate kiss.
When we broke our kiss he held me tightly and said, “I’m yours, all yours, now and forever.”
I couldn’t help but smile, it was his standard addition to anything endearing he said to me, ‘now and forever’.
“You excited?”
“I’m optimistic we’ve got a good chance to raise Ali and any other children we decide to have without the Guild finding us. That excites me, you excite me, and I couldn’t have accomplished any of this without you.”
“So, we’re going to have another child?”
“Let’s practice a bit first…”
FIN
[---<>--- ]
Authors Note:
So, this was supposed to be a ‘short’ chapter, but obviously I like words and haven’t met one I don’t like typing. Geesh! Anyway, this has been a fun romp and I can’t begin to tell you how much every Kudo and comment has meant to me. Thank you so much for giving this story a shot. I’m not a sci-fi expert, but I threw a cobbled idea together, some garnish here and there, and a little backdrop, to figure out if I could make a go of this kind of story.
I want to extend a special Thank You to an incredibly talent author (go read her works if you haven’t!) - Emma Ann Tate. She provided me with a major assist in this story that would have flipped it on its head had I not listened to her. She gave me a suggestion for how to continue the story back in Chapter 13 when I’d told her about being stuck and my couple ideas for how to move this story to an end point weren’t to my liking. I won’t share exactly what I’d planned, but let’s just say it wasn’t good for one of the main characters and Cam might have ended up with someone else. Thank you Emma! You da BOMB Chica!
Is this the end? That depends on you the reader. You can take this chapter and think – yup, they lived happily ever after or comment that you’d be down for catching up with this cast of crazy once settled on whatever planet they land on or even further down the road or whatever. Or don’t say anything and I’ll get the message loud and clear. Potential untapped topics to continue this story – Keagan, Guild depth of involvement or advancement to get a glimpse of the future, kids with visions, rebels, and more – like more of Cam and Garrett.
That’s it… Just a quick note to say THANK YOU! for giving this story a chance and following it to its conclusion (?).
Don't be afraid to click the "Kudos" (Thumbs Up) icon for this story if it's done anything for you. If you comment, I will reply.
Big HUGZ to all of ya’ll and we’ll see you ‘round the BC-verse. Thanks for the read...
Rachel M. Moore