“Irish Dancing? Isn't that the rubbish where they keep their arms straight by their sides?" Nick peered myopically at the bulletin board. The poster actually showed a line of girls high kicking in unison, ponytails flying and, yes, arms held rigidly at their sides.

I shook my head, more to myself than anything. It really was a mystery to me how he'd made it to college with so little going on between his ears.

"Looks like it", I replied. I wasn't one to mock the afflicted, and certainly not Nick. He’d been a good mate and stood by me through all the years we’d spent together at school, when pretty much everyone else had given me fuck off vibes. That and there was something about him… I don't know, he was comfortable to be with, I suppose.

"They're doing auditions this afternoon,” he continued. “Fancy going for a laugh?"

I shrugged. Generally I wasn’t one for taking the piss out of someone, especially not for something they couldn't help, but if they chose to make an arse of themselves, then they were fair game.

"Yeah, why not? Has to be better than hanging out down the mall."

Summervale had to be about the deadest place in the universe, and all the more in the middle of winter. One of those back of beyond sleepy villages where the main source of entertainment comprised watching the traffic lights change.

Even the mall was a sad joke. It was more properly an arcade, and barely that, but the locals liked to big it up a bit. It consisted of a mini supermarket, a newsagent, a hairdressers, a bookies and a dodgy shop with blacked out windows and occult symbols over the door. No-one ever seemed to go in our out of it, and it always seemed to be locked up. It was a constant source of speculation exactly what went on inside, or why whoever leased it continued to do so.

There was an alternative to Deadsville of course. If you were prepared to put up with the expense and inconvenience of a thirty-minute bus ride, civilization could be reached. However, since the last bus home left the metropolis at nine, there wasn’t a lot to do with the available time, and pretty much the only viable way of taking in a movie or anything similar involved some degree of independent transport.

For those of us still in our second decade of life, insurance on a car or even an asthmatic motor scooter was well beyond affordable, and the thought of resorting to the old dad taxi was so humiliating that most of us reluctantly accepted that the joys of the city were reserved for weekends and the very rare occasion when someone was prepared sacrifice their reputation and ask a parent.

Which meant that, most of the time, hanging out at the mall was about the only thing anyone in our generation could do that might count as a pastime, unless you happened to be one of those people who signed up for after school activities, but that was just capitulating to the enemy's will, and a source of serious anti-kudos.

Final period came and went, which for me meant an hour of redox titrations and the associated maths. It was hard work, and I didn't get particularly close to the expected answer, meaning my teacher invited me back to try again in my own time. So not the greatest way to end a week, which meant I wasn't in the best of moods when I caught up with Nick outside the sports hall.

The sounds from the other side of the door promised some decent sport though. It sounded like they'd found a herd of a particularly uncoordinated pachyderms, but then you don’t expect major dancing talent in a small town like ours? We slipped through the doors and found a couple of seats halfway up the spectator's stand.

It was truly epic. Either the dancing was a lot harder than it looked, or something had induced seizures in over half the tryouts. Nick and I were both laughing hard by the time they decided to take a break, which of course meant that our good humour suddenly became very much apparent.

"Something you'd like to share with us all Mr Geller?"

"Nah, I'm good," I said, trying to control myself, which was not all that easy with a giggling buffoon sitting next to me.

"Oh, but I insist Mr Geller. Your friend seems to think it's exceedingly funny. Or perhaps you'd prefer to explain it all to the principal?"

That wasn't a prospect I particularly relished, so I gave the matter some quick thought.

"I was just telling Nick here that archeologists have just discovered a long lost second instruction manual for Irish dancing, Miss Ephermeris."

"Oh? Do tell."

"Yeah, it's entitled, 'What To Do With Your Arms.'"

Nick broke out in renewed laughter, which didn't help the situation much as nobody else joined him. I'm pretty sure he didn't understand the joke either, whereas everyone else got it but didn’t appreciate it. Everyone except Clarrisa, maybe, but then she had a tendency to be pissed off on principle.

Clarrisa was the archetypal air-headed sex goddess. Essentially, while everyone else had been standing in line for intelligence or talent, she'd used up all her credit on this great rack and a gorgeous bod – Nick’s words rather than mine, but I’ll admit she did look quite stunning.

She talked pretty much all the time, and pretty much all the time what came out of her mouth was vacuous drivel relating to the latest string of non-events in her life. One of the less charitable among the student body, a geeky girl named Laurel who sat with us in the cafeteria on occasions, had once suggested that she might be incapable of learning because any new ideas had no chance of making it in against the torrential and almost constant flow of crap coming out. Somewhat uncharacteristically Clarrisa wasn't speaking right now.

Nick's laughter eventually petered out as even he became aware of the stony silence. Idly I wondered what would happen if Nick and Clarrisa ever got together, whether their brains – such as they were – would constitute a critical anti-mass and form an immense, all-consuming nothingness into which everything would fall, the kind of deep, dark hole I would have loved to crawl into just then.

"Perhaps you'd care to join us on stage, Mr Geller, since you seem to know so much about this particular art form," Miss Ephermeris said with a dangerous glint in her eye.

"No thank you Miss, I'm good."

"But I insist, Mr Geller.” Never a good sign when a teacher uses your name so often in such a short span of time. “I still haven't decided whether or not to involve the principal."

"But Miss, this is kind of a girl thing, isn't it?"

"Not at all Mr Geller. I’m sure you’ve heard of Riverdance, and Michael Flatley who is the star of the show. Now come and join us before I get annoyed."

There wasn't much sense in arguing. If she made enough of a complaint, it might end up on my permanent record, which in turn would affect my chance of getting into the university of my choice. It would be vindictive of her to take things that far, but with the performance of tangled legs and tripping ups Nick and I had witnessed, she might well have been sufficiently pissed off to act rashly.

I climbed up on stage and she gave me a critical once over.

"You'll need shoes," she said. Irish dancing was a sort of tap dancing, so that made sense. "What size are you?"

"Eight and a half." I'd always had little feet and the extra half size was important for my ego.

"That'll be an eight then, Clarrisa if you wouldn’t mind. And those jeans are too baggy. You need something tight on your legs to facilitate freedom of movement."

Clarrisa handed me a pair of shoes like the ones she was wearing, and some thick, white tights. So that was it. They wouldn't complain to the principal as long as they managed to get a little revenge by humiliating me.

"I thought you said guys did this too," I said.

"They do Mr Geller, it's just that I don't have any male costumes. Those tights are going to show off something I doubt any of us are going to want to look at, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to go all the way. Clarrisa, I think we have a uniform in his size?"

So I was completely stitched up. I’m not sure how Nick escaped, except he does have this winning smile and eyes that people – women especially – tend to feel sorry for. The girls made a tight circle around me, facing outward, and I wasn't given much choice but to change, not if I didn't want black marks against my name.

It didn’t bother me much. My reputation was already in close vicinity to the rocky bottom, and would only have dug its way deeper if I hadn’t made some token protest to what I was being asked to do. Either that or if I’d been foolish enough to admit it was something that secretly excited me.

It was a weird but oddly pleasurable experience. I'd had to discard all of my clothes, including my boxer shorts – not so difficult to slip off modestly while wearing a dress – because they'd left me looking like I was wearing a nappy under the skirt. The dress itself was light and short, with long, loose fitting sleeves and tight cuffs. The skirt had loose pleats in it and fell to about mid-thigh, which left most of my legs on show, clad in a pair of thick white tights – thick enough to hide the hairs underneath. It turned out I had a pair of legs that were just a little too spectacular for a guy, especially with my small feet in a pair of heels, rounding off my calves. The shoes probably only had about an inch and a half or two inches in the heel, but when you're used to no heel at all, it made a significant difference, and I felt like I was perched up on my toes.

"There, don't you look pretty?" Miss Ephemeris said when I was finally revealed to the world. A giggle rolled round the auditorium. The laughter was sort of an automatic reaction to the sight of a boy in a dress, though the looks I was getting from some of the girls – the barrelinas especially – seemed more angry or envious rather than amused.

Barrelina was a term Nick and I had come up with for the more equatorially challenged dancer wannabees. Well alright, I’d coined the phrase, but he’d found it funny and made copious use of it after I’d introduced it to him. I think I actually looked better than more than half the girls sharing the stage with me.

Nick, meanwhile, was laughing himself silly. It seemed he was to be the chosen vessel by which my humiliation would be spread.

"Now let’s see you dance” Miss Ephemeris said. “Follow my movements, and remember, don't move your arms."

I watched her feet as they tapped out a short and easy beat, then tried to copy it. The first time I nearly twisted my ankle, promoting another round of giggles, but I wasn’t going to let this best me. I regained my poise and tried again, this time managing passably well.

She tried another sequence, which I also followed.

Frowning, she tried something more complicated.

Smiling, I copied it perfectly.

The contest went on for some minutes ending with a longish sequence where I started copying her a bar after she started. Not only did I match her perfectly, but my own sequence tapped out a delightful counterpoint to hers.

I was beginning to enjoy myself. The tights felt amazing against my legs, the skirt kept brushing against my thighs sending shivers through me. Quite apart from the physical sensation though, I knew that the easiest way of beating a humiliation was to excel at whatever task your adversary chose for your failure. Right now no-one was laughing at me.

I pulled my hair out of my eyes for the umpteenth time, and felt small soft hands gather it from behind me and put it into a pony tail.

I turned and smiled my thanks at whoever had done it, and received an odd look in return.

Miss Ephermeris turned and looked up into the benches. I followed her gaze and caught sight of a shadowy figure at the back. A man. He was leaning forward in his seat, but apart from that, I couldn't make out any details. He nodded.

"Try and keep up," Miss Ephermeris said, and started to dance.

Once again, I joined in after one bar. This time the dance took us across the stage and included a series of jumps and kicks.

Now I've tried to keep in shape, but I'm still no more limber than most guys, or at least I thought I wasn't. I fell into the rhythm and flow of the dance and let the music take me. I doubt I jumped as high, nor did I manage to extend my legs so much, but I didn't disgrace myself.

The sequence lasted about fifteen minutes, after which Miss Ephermeris was breathing hard, and I was just breathing. She turned to look up at the back of the hall, and I followed her gaze, just in time to see the shadowy man leaving.

"Okay girls," she said. "Tryouts are over. I'll post the names tomorrow. Clarrisa, give Mitch back his clothes. Come with me Mitch, you can use the staff changing room."

#

"Dude you were awesome," Nick said when I rejoined him. "Also, I don't want to worry you, but you looked pretty good in that outfit. If I can't get a date for the Christmas dance at the end of term, would you, you know?"

"Yeah, whatever." I wasn’t really thinking. My mind was trying to make sense of what Miss Ephermeris had told me.

"You can leave the things on the bench when you're done." She'd tossed me a fresh towel and pointed at the shower.

"Miss, who was that guy at the back?"

"Who? Oh, he owns the shop in the arcade.” She didn't need to tell me which shop. “Look out for him next time you're there."

"I didn't really see him, Miss."

"I wouldn't worry about it; he saw you. You were... exceptional out there today Mitch. I'm afraid this isn't over for you."

What did that mean? Was he some national dancing coach? Was he going to offer me some sort of scholarship to become the first ever cross dressing Irish dance sensation in history? It was all a bit freaky, as was the memory of wearing those clothes. It had felt so amazingly good, so amazingly right, to be wearing a dress.

Clarrisa was waiting for us outside the school gates.

“I don't know what kind of freak you are Mitchel Geller, but if your performance this afternoon has cost me my place on the dancing team, you are going to wish you had never been born.”

“Why, what will you do, talk to me every day?”

“Huh, you wish.”

Honestly, I waste my best jokes on the stupidest people. Not even Nick picked up on it.

I needn't have worried. When the list was posted the next day, Clarrisa's name was third from the top. If she wanted to make an issue about not being first, she'd have to take that elsewhere. Much to my relief, I didn't appear anywhere on the sheet – that would have been all but impossible to live down.

Clarrisa gave me a dirty look anyway, as though suggesting I'd had a narrow escape. I raised my eyebrows back at her, challenging her to make something of it, which she didn't.

Life returned back to normal very quickly after that. Nick chose not to spread my embarrassment round the college, which was pretty cool of him, and showed that I had pretty good taste in guys – friends I mean; sheesh where did that come from? None of the girls said anything either, but then I always had the option of telling everyone how great a job they'd made of the trials, and how I’d looked better than most of them in a dress. That would have been more humiliating for them. I did avoided the gym when the Irish dancers were rehearsing, not that I had much of a choice since the place was off limits to the rest of the student body at those times. Otherwise nothing changed.

Until the following weekend.

#

Saturday morning boredom avoidance for the more fiscally challenged among us generally involved a trip to the mall – or arcade if you want to be pedantic, but I think I've said this already. As per my usual habit, I dropped by Nick's and we walked in together. We didn't have anything much in mind other than the usual mooching around looking for something to laugh at, so I certainly wasn't expecting it when the door to the mystery shop swung open and an odd looking guy in a tweed jacket stepped out in front of me.

"You're here at last," he said. "Where the hell have you been? Come in."

He turned to step back into the shop, but paused, holding the door for me.

It took me a second or two to recover, but I managed it.

"Yes, what, and hell no," I said after a moment's thought.

"What?"

"Yes I'm here – don't know about the at last though. What do you mean, 'Where the hell have you been?' And hell no, I'm not going into a blacked out shop with a creepy dude like you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Okay, if you like."

"What?"

"What?"

"If I like what?"

"You begged my pardon. I thought I'd be nice."

"Look, will you just come in?"

"Whatever makes you think I'd do that? I mean I don't even know who you are."

"What?"

"You say that a lot, don't you?"

"You mean to tell me Miss Ephermeris didn't say anything to you?"

"She said something after the practice, but I didn't think it was important."

"Why ever not?"

"Because... Look I don't particularly want to talk about it, okay?"

He adjusted his glasses. "I suppose that's your prerogative. I really do need to speak with you though."

"Go on then."

"No, I mean in private."

I folded my arms and stared at him, somewhat defiantly.

"Do I really seem like that much of a threat to you?" he asked.

I looked him up and down. He couldn't have weighed much more than nine or ten stone – that's a hundred and thirty pounds or sixty kilos for those who don't speak old or metric – and he had a seriously bookish air about him, by which I mean he was probably happier reading them than carrying them.

"I suppose not," I admitted.

"Then give me ten minutes of your time, or... or five even. If I haven't said anything to grab your interest by then I'll..."

"You'll what?"

"Then I won't disturb you again."

I glanced at Nick who shrugged. No help there. I shrugged as well. "Okay, five minutes. I'll catch up with you in the mall Nick."

It wasn't as if I had anything better to do. Besides, like everyone else in Summervale, I was intrigued to know what he kept in his shop.

#

The place was as strange and uninviting on the inside as it was on the outside. It was dark, with only a few dim lamps providing illumination, and there were books everywhere. Dust lay on everything, nearly a quarter inch thick in places, and apart from that were the books.

Yes I know I've already mentioned them, but there seemed to be more books than space. Every wall had shelves piled to the ceiling with them. Every surface, chairs included, was covered with them, and with all available furniture in use, the remainder were piled in stacks on the floor.

They were old, all of them hard covered, and most with leather, but with all the dust, it was impossible to read the titles.

"So what is this place? It doesn't look like you sell much."

"It's not a shop."

"It's in a shopping arcade."

"Location is important."

"Whatever. You still haven't answered my question, and you're running out of your five minutes." needless to say, my patience was running thin.

"Step in here and I'll answer all your questions."

He opened a door and indicated a staircase leading down into a basement room that was even darker than the rest of his musty domain. I couldn't see any harm in it, so I stepped through.

The door shut behind me and I heard the snick of a key turning in a lock. I turned and tried the door, but it wouldn't open.

"Hey!" I shouted, feeling kind of stupid.

"I'm sorry, but I really can't afford the time to do this any other way."

The voice reached me through a sort of PA system. A light came on illuminating the centre of the room, and dead centre of the circle of illumination was a sort of tailor's dummy dressed in a rich green, velvet dress with a short skirt and puffed, off-white sleeves.

"What the hell it's this?" I demanded.

"It's your, er, your uniform. Look, I know this is a little irregular, but it can't be helped. Now, er, put it on... please."

"You want me to wear that?"

"Er yes, because in a little over a minute a, er, a vampire is going to attack you "

"A vampire?"

"Yes."

"A genuine undead, blood sucking vampire?"

"Yes "

"With a black cape I suppose."

"No, er, they don't actually wear those these days – that was more of a period thing. You have about fifty seconds, can I suggest you get changed, and quickly."

"Exactly how is my wearing that going to make any difference to my ability to fight a vam... No, listen to what you're saying. There's no such thing as..."

"Vampires? Well that's where you're wrong. They do exist, and there's only one way you're likely to defeat one."

"By putting on a dress and dancing at it?" This was beyond ridiculous.

"Er, well very nearly. Haven't you ever wondered why Irish dancing is done with the hands by the side?"

"Because they lost the instructions that tell you what to do with your arms?" Twice in a week I got use that joke. Mind you it hadn't worked out so well the first time, so I'm not sure why I bothered.

"Look, we don't have time for your facetious nonsense. Vampires are extremely fast and really strong. If you tried to hit one with your fist, it'd grab it and yank your arm off."

"Yeah and beat me to death with the soggy end. This is bullshit."

"Well let's hope you remember this, er, this bullshit in about twenty seconds. The only way to beat them is with your legs. The footwork from the dance confuses them, and gives you an occasional opportunity to kick through their defences... most of the time."

"Go on then. Tell me why I need to wear a fucking dress. Why can't I just do the dance of death as I am?"

"Freedom of movement. Trousers slow you down, just a fraction, but anything is too much of a disadvantage. It wasn't an issue hundreds of years ago, of course, because men wore doublet and hose, but in recent years we've had to rely more on women to do the fighting, most likely because men refuse to wear the uniform. You're going to have to do without this time, though. Time's about up, so do the best you can as you are. For heaven's sake keep your arms down and rely on your dancing."

"This is stupid."

"Is it really? Tell me again in a couple of minutes."

A feral growl came from the darkness, and a creature of more or less human proportions, but with a hideously disfigured face emerged into the light.

How to describe the feeling of facing a truly wild and dangerous creature for the first time. I've read stuff about how your bowels loosen, about how it's supposed to prepare you for a fight or flight response, but reading about it doesn't prepare you for the real thing.

I'm not sure what affected me the most, whether it was the almost subsonic growl, or the fixated intensity of its gaze, or maybe the unnatural yellow of its eyes, blazing with some inner fire. Perhaps it was all of them in equal measure. All I knew was that it turned my insides into jelly, and runny jelly at that. I barely had strength enough to stand, let alone squeeze my butt cheeks together.

Shitting yourself has to be one of the most ignominious final acts imaginable. The sudden stench, the feel of your own faeces dribbling down the inside of your trousers. Sorry if that's too much information, but without it you wouldn't even come close to understanding the way I felt in that moment.

"For Gods's sake man, move!"

Whatever else I might think or say about the odd little man, he saved me then. Somehow the irritation I felt towards him intensified his words and helped them cut through the debilitating malaise hanging over me. I looked around for a way out, but the only one was the door I had come through, up the stairs behind me. In a desperate hope that perhaps it might have been unlocked, I ran towards it.

Somehow, the creature cut me off before I could reach it. I barely saw the blur of its movement, but it was there, standing at the foot of the stairs before I had taken two steps.

I crouched into a wrestler's stance, the only fighting style I had even half a hope of doing well. A grin spread across the thing's face, unnerving me a little, then a lot as it revealed a pair of canines that would have been more at home in a lion's mouth.

"No you idiot. Dance!"

My mind's response to the irritating voice was to bring to mind snippets of what I had been told earlier. Not dancing but a sort of marital art. Arms straight because these things were so fast they'd grab hold and pull them off you otherwise. It felt so stupid, but nothing else I knew had a hope of improving my chances of surviving here. I stood to attention and started the routine I'd run through during the trials earlier in the week.

The creature's smile slipped when it saw me stand, and it even shied away as I started moving my legs.

It was well advised to do so too. My first kick sent a gob of my most recent embarrassment flying across the room. It landed not far from my adversary, who wrinkled his nose at it in an almost human way.

I continued the routine, pretty much exactly as it had been shown to me. I don't have an eidetic memory, but I have strong chain memory – one thought leading to the next and so on. Remembering music and the lines of a poem or play have always been easy for me, because as soon as I recall the first part, my mind goes unbidden to whatever comes next.

I could feel the legs of my trousers flapping about, restricting the movement of my legs. I almost lost the rhythm once or twice, and I certainly didn't have much strength in the kicks. What I did have though was an unexpected weapon in the filth dribbling down the inside of my trousers legs, and I did manage to alter my moves just enough to improve my aim. Before long I had the creature cowering against the wall.

"The shoes," the irritating voice interrupted. "Use the shoes."

I glanced back at the mannequin. I hadn't noticed the shoes earlier, but there they were, at the foot of the display. They had high, spiked heels, perhaps as much as four or five inches, and some sort of thin strap designed to hold them rather securely in place. Buckling the straps wouldn't be a short job.

"You want me to put them on?" I yelled at my unseen tutor.

"No you dunce, use them as weapons. A heel through the heart should do the trick."

"I thought you said not to use my arms?" I yelled.

"Well ordinarily, yes, but that would be for when you don't have a vampire crouching in the corner, covered in..."

"Okay, I get it."

I managed a couple of pirouettes and ducked down to pick up my two weapons. They felt awkward and uncomfortable in my hands, but I approached my target even so, flinging the last of my revolting ammunition as I approached.

I was really going to do this. For the best part of twenty years I'd made it through life without knowingly killing anything bigger than a cockroach, and here I was about to stick a spiked heel into someone's chest.

I tried telling myself that he – or perhaps it – would have killed me had I not chanced upon a method for defending myself, that it would try again if I didn't do something and soon. It wasn't enough for me to like what I was about to do, but it was enough to persuade me I could go through with it.

The monster was beginning to rally. I danced my way swiftly across the room to it, reaching it just as it turned towards me. My arrival came as a shock to the creature, and I took the fraction of a second advantage it gave me and jammed one of the new shoes, heel first, into its chest.

The expression on its face had been intended to terrify, and it might have worked had it not changed so rapidly into one of shock and surprise, just moments before the whole creature exploded into dust.

#

The sound of a key turning in the lock signalled an end to my ordeal. I turned towards the door as Mr Annoying stepped through it.

"Good God, whatever have you been eating?"

"What?"

"Erm, excrement doesn't usually smell this, er, fragrant?"

"Look, shut the fuck up, and tell me where I can clean this shit off me?"

"I would very much prefer it if you would use slightly less colourful language, at least in my presence. There's a changing room and showers just through there." He waved a hand vaguely at the door he'd come through.

I stomped past him, both showing something of my outrage and adding in a small way to the mess around me. This wouldn't be pleasant to clear up, and it pleased me to make it less so.

The changing room was opposite at the top of the stairs, and the shower was in a room beyond that. I kicked off my shoes, dropped the contents of my pockets - keys, phone and wallet - on a bench and walked in fully clothed, only stripping to my skin once I was standing in a stream of hot water.

"If, if you'll pass me your clothes, I'll do something with them," he offered from outside the shower.

They needed more attention than I could give them in the shower, so I threw them out to him. Then, keeping my back to the door, I gave myself as thorough a washing as I could manage, even lathering up my hair a couple of times just in case any of my earlier manoeuvres had landed anything up there. It felt and smelt good after the shit-storm. Maybe a little more floral than I was used to, but honestly I didn't care at that stage; I just wanted to be clean.

Did I mention how long my hair was? Long enough to be a hassle when I washed it. It took a lot of effort to get clean and a lot of time to get dry afterwards. It seemed that the longer I grew it, the more delicate it became too. Vigorous towelling is a sure path to split ends, but the only alternative is wash it and wait. Once I'd finally convinced myself that I no longer stank, at least of what remained of yesterday's lunch, I stepped out of the shower in search of a towel. One had been left for me where I'd left the contents of my wallet, and I made good use of it, wrapping my hair in it once I'd dried myself off. There was a dressing gown hanging on a nearby hook as well. It was white and fluffy, but any port in a storm at this stage.

I followed the sound of spraying water to find my host/kidnapper hosing down the arena. It still stank, but it was improving. The dress was gone from the middle of the room, I suspected into the same washing machine as my own gear.

"You do this a lot?" I asked.

"Not for some time, and it's usually just the dusty remains of these creatures rather than excrement, but I suppose I do, yes."

"So why d'you let that thing loose when you knew I wasn't ready?"

"I didn't."

"Now hang on a minute..."

"I don't release them. They come through on their own. In recent weeks I haven’t seen so many, probably because I keep this room locked and empty, and since they can't go back the way they come, it's a one way trip to starvation. They can smell through the rift though, so they come when there's fresh blood in here. When that happens, I have a little warning of their coming; perhaps a minute, but that's all."

"What are they, and where do they come from?"

"Er, well, for want of better words, they are demons, and they come from hell."

"No freaking way!"

"Er, yes, er yes, er freaking way. You have to understand that this has been going on for a very long while.

"I, I don't want to go into too much depth, but they were originally encountered during the Dark Ages, and given that it was a time of intense religious superstition, they were called demons, which meant they had to come from hell. The names stuck for many centuries, then in the Middle Ages a new concept came from Eastern Europe of blood sucking, human like creatures called upir, from which word in about the eighteenth or nineteenth century, we developed the current term of vampire. They're probably the creatures that gave rise to the original vampire myth because they can take on the form of a human, and usually one with considerable charisma, they can't survive in sunlight, they feed off usually human blood, and they infect the corpses they leave behind so that they later turn into vampires themselves."

"Wow."

"Yes I know, remarkable aren't they."

"No, I was just thinking."

"What?"

"Before you go into depth about something, please give me a little warning so I can remember to bring a book."

"Why don't you get dressed?"

"You've washed my clothes already? Where are they?"

"Oh no, they were past saving. I threw them out, but you'll find a wardrobe back in the changing room. There'll be something suitable in there."

Filled with sudden misgiving, I made my way back into the changing room. The wardrobe was where he'd said, and it opened to reveal...

"No freaking way. What the hell is this?"

The sound of hosing shut off, and a moment later he was in the doorway.

"What's the problem?"

"What's the problem? What's the freaking problem? This," I waved a hand at the cupboard, "is the freaking problem!"

On the plus side, there was a selection of colours and patterns, but to counter that, there appeared to be only one style. It involved a familiar short, pleated skirt and long loose sleeves with tight cuffs.

"Yes, well we, we did talk about this if you remember."

"We talked about it, or rather you did. We didn't agree to anything. You honestly expect me to go around wearing something like that?"

"Yes I do, because I assume that you and your friends would like to carry on living beyond the end of this week."

That shut me up. He took a moment to breathe, then he started up again.

"This shop lies on a convergence of ley lines..."

"Oh, come on!"

"Ley lines are as real as vampires, and I assume you believe in them now?"

The man had a point. I decided to shut up and listen.

"Ley lines are lines of mystical force – no, don't scoff. Some people are sensitive to them, and there are ways, albeit unreliable ones, of detecting them. Wherever there's a convergence, you find an increase in mystical activity.?

"Increase in the number of nutjobs ready to believe in nonsense, you mean?"

"Well, yes there is that, but just because there are a number of, er, nutjobs as you say, doesn't mean that what they believe doesn't exist. They may have a distorted view of reality, but most mythology is based on something factual, even if it doesn't live up to the hype."

"So what are ley lines really?"

"My, a genuine question at last. Please excuse me if I sit down, I fear the shock may be too much."

"You're not very good at sarcasm you know?"

"Yes, well, never mind. Nobody's really sure what ley lines are. We do know they drift about a little, and we do know that they can be pinned in special places." He indicated the shop around him.

"A convergence?" I suggested.

"Yes, precisely. Now, every now and again, a convergence will snag a large enough number of lines that it will begin to attract more free ones."

"Like a black hole."

"What?"

"The more stuff falls into it, the more gravity it has, and the more stuff it attracts."

"Er, yes. Except that black holes keep on getting bigger. There is a critical amount of ley line energy though. As you approach it, you find weaknesses forming between worlds, and sometimes if there's something on the other side, it can break through into our world. When you reach the critical level of energy, a large tear appears in the fabric of space, usually followed by some catastrophe."

"Such as?"

"Nothing you'll have read about in the news."

"How do you know?"

"You've heard of Chernobyl I assume?"

"Nuclear reactor in the Ukraine went kaplooey."

"Very succinct. Except it was caused by a giant worm crossing into our world. What was reported in the press was a sanitised version because they don't want us to worry about such mundane trivia as giant, potentially world ending monsters. The worm was killed by the meltdown, but it left behind a few younger and smaller versions of itself, which the locals are still fighting to contain. How about Krakatoa, have you heard of that?"

"Wasn't that in a film our something?"

"It was, though I'm a little surprised you've heard of it. Krakatoa east of Java came out over fifty years ago. The actual event that inspired the film, which was the explained as a volcanic eruption in 1883, was caused by a sea dragon crossing into our world. It survived long enough to cause a considerable amount of damage before it was tracked and killed."

"So how do you know about these things? I mean, if they don't make it into the papers..."

"I work for an organisation that keeps an eye out for the unexpected. We have some people in important positions, so we have access to unexpurgated reports. One of them indicates we're looking at a convergence event around here that's due on or about the 25th."

"Christmas day!?"

"Well I prefer to think of it as the Winter Solstice, but yes, I suppose so."

"So what's coming through?"

"Ah. Well no one knows."

"I don't understand. How can you not know? You seem to know so much about everything else, how can you not know about that?"

"Because it's never gone that far with the vampire world."

"I thought you said they came from hell."

"And I thought you were paying attention. We only call it hell because it was so named in the Dark Ages."

"So not the hell where bad people go when they die?"

"Well, who knows? We have no idea where people go when they die, so it could be there."

"That was a joke, right?"

"That was, indeed, a joke." He adjusted his glasses, more through habit than need. "And really we don't know all that much.

"All we know about ley lines is that they consist of a type of energy that seems to affect the fabric of space-time. Enough energy in one place and a portal of sorts is formed – call it a wormhole if it makes you feel better. Too much energy and the portal flares up to enormous size, but only briefly; generally just long enough to pull through something significant from the other side. It then collapses, all the energy is dissipated, and the whole process starts over.

"All we know about the portals is that they seem to connect to different worlds. We have no information about those worlds because the portals seem to be one way only, which is to say towards us, not the other way around. This may be fortuitous, or, or even by design. Imagine if a portal were to connect with empty space. Without some sort of, er, of non-return mechanism, so to speak, all the atmosphere would be sucked off our planet in a matter of hours, or at most days."

"You make it sound like they're artificial."

"They may be, we simply don't know. All we know is that when a portal forms, usually there is some sort of life form on the other side that is drawn to it and tries to come through. As in the case of the Chernobyl Worm and the Krakatoan Dragon, the creature could only cross when the portal went critical, but on occasions, as with the, er, the vampires, sometimes creatures are drawn to the portals which are small enough to fit through even when they’re not fully formed.

"Whether all these things come from different worlds or different parts of just one world, we don't know. Whether the worlds are a part of our universe or some other, we don't know. Whether other planets have conjunctions that draw creatures from our own world, we don't know. All we do know is that sometimes things make it into our world, and for the safety of all, we have to take measures. This has been happening for a very long time, and some of the solutions that have been found are rather, er, unorthodox."

"Like dancing at vampires."

"Er, yes." Again he adjusted his glasses. It seemed to get worse when he was nervous about something. "It's, er, it's more than that though."

"Oh?"

"Yes. These problems have existed for thousands of years, and the solutions, er, rather reflect that. The, er, the vampires for instance. Normal people don't stand much of a chance against them, even if they can, er, riverdance."

"So you're saying I'm special?"

"Yes, in a way. You're, er, sort of magically enhanced."

"I'm like what now?"

"Don't you find your natural ability to, er, to dance a little unusual?"

"Yeah, but…"

"But nothing. Normally dancers will train for years to reach the level of fitness and proficiency you showed at the trials last week. The whole purpose of the trials was to find the next person to whom the, er, the gift had been passed."

"This is too much. First vampires, then ley lines and dragons. Now magic too? And what happened to your last gifted person?"

"Best… best not to ask. The, er, magic comes from another world. Our ancestors were far more talented and knowledgeable than anyone is today, and they managed to pin a particular convergence and control it – link it to one person. What comes from it, we're not, not entirely sure, but it brings supernatural strength and agility to whoever receives it. It, er, it latches onto the most likely candidate, and because of the nature of what is required, all of the, er, recent candidates have been women. I don't suppose there's something you're not telling me is there?"

"No," I said, perhaps a little too quickly. "But what happened to the others?"

"Well, if you must know, they, er, they all died."

"Died? Of what? Old age? Being run over by a bus?"

"What do you think they died of? I've already tried to impress on you that this is not a game. Vampires are dangerous.

"Which means that we really need to get on with your training. Would you please change?"

I looked at the dresses. Part of me desperately wanted to be wearing one again. It had felt unusually right to be clothed that way, even though there was a large part of me that fought the feeling. I knew how people treated anyone who wasn't normal, and it was ten times worse out here in the country. I wasn't about to commit that level of social suicide.

"Look. There are no cameras, I'm not a pervert, and for now the only people who'll know about it are yourself and me, and, and perhaps a few vampires who you're soon going to turn into dust. See how things go, okay? We can discuss what to do afterwards."

"What can we do?" I wanted to know. "I mean is there a way of removing this 'gift' as you call it from me?"

"I, I, I don't know." His stammer also seemed to get worse as his nervousness increased. "But, but, I, I'll check. I promise I'll check. For now can't you, what is it you young people say? Go with the flow?"

"Yeah daddio," I said. "Well cool, and peace out man."

"So you'll do it?" he asked, entirely missing my sarcasm.

It wasn't worth it, and besides, despite my protestations, I rather liked the idea of putting on a dress again.

"Sure. I'm really not sure about the shoes though."

"Believe me, you'll have no problem with them. Since you have almost certainly been given the gift, you'll be able to walk in them without difficulty almost immediately. Dancing and fighting will come with a minute or so's practice.

"I'll, I'll, er, leave you to get changed, shall I?"

I smiled at him and pulled a dress of its hanger.

"This stuff looks a little small," I said, holding it up to me.

"Yes, I imagine there will be a little adjustment needed. The, er, the magic should take care of that."

The shoes looked a couple of sizes too small as well, but, well we'd see.

Tights first. I've seen it done enough times, even done it recently – gather up to the toe and slide on over the leg. Just describing it doesn't do justice to the way it made me feel though. I'd have to shave my legs, or do something to get rid of the hairs though; they looked wrong through the thin white material.

Second came the dress itself. The material was a little stretchy, but it had been made for a torso considerably smaller than mine. Still, I'd seen and heard enough amazing things so far in the last half hour or so to at least give it a try. Feeling just a tiny bit foolish, I pulled it over my head.

It was a struggle at first. There was give there, but not enough, then it seemed to ease a little and the entire garment slipped into place as though it were made for me. I straightened out the skirt feeling a little odd. My hips felt strangely wide, and I appeared to have a couple of small mounds protruding from my chest, which was unusual as I was sure there hadn't been any padding sewn into the dress.

I shook my head and reached for the shoes. They were all much of a muchness, and quite a lot like the ones I'd used as hand weapons in my fight earlier. Just holding them against my feet, the task seemed impossible. My toes looked like they extended a good inch and a bit beyond the length of the shoe. Still it was only one more impossible thing. I slid my foot in and found it fit perfectly. Rather worryingly the shoe hadn't seemed to change. I put my other foot beside my first, and it seemed immense by comparison. Half a change would be worse than a whole one either way though. I grabbed the other shoe and slid my second foot just as easily into the shoe.

Four and a half inches of heel. If I'd felt like I was walking on my toes at the school, this was so much more so. I tried walking and found it surprisingly easy. My back end wobbled a bit more than I was used to, but balance felt natural even without all of my feet to help.

I opened the door to find him waiting. He gave me a look which I can only describe as inscrutable. It held a hint of shock, another of resigned acceptance? He didn't give me a chance to ask, but led me back to the arena.

"We have a minute or two," he said, "so let's do a few warm up exercises."

"How do you know how long we have?"

"They make a sound, these, er, vampires." He pointed at his ear. "It's subsonic, but I have a transducer that allows me to hear it. I've become rather good over the years, and I can judge fairly accurately how many there are — because they all sound slightly different — and how far away. I'd say there are seven on the way, two of which will arrive in about a minute and a half, then the others at regularish intervals, perhaps fifteen to twenty seconds apart. They'll be a good test of your abilities, I should think, but let's get you used to the, er, changes shall we?" Again the oddly guilty look.

I didn't have time to think about it though. He had me recall a series of dance sequences and run through them several times over until I was able to perform them as well or better than I had before. It was true that without my jeans flapping around, I could move with a lot more accuracy and speed. It was also true that within just a minute, I was totally comfortable moving in the shoes. Somehow I seemed to be able to jump and kick a lot higher too. I didn't have much time to think on that either.

"That's very good," he said. "You have about twenty seconds before the first two arrive. Remember, keep your arms by your side, and might I encourage you not to experiment too much. Dispatch them as quickly as you can, so that you don't end up facing too many at the same time." He climbed the stairs as he spoke. "I'll be just outside as I was before. I'll try to leave you to do this without any interference from me. Oh, and one final thing."

"What?" I was beginning to feel nervous again.

"They have more reason to be afraid of you." He flashed me a tight grin then retreated out the door.

The growl was the same, but the effect it had on me wasn't, even doubled up as this was. Last time it had been full of intimidation and malice; this time it was nothing more than the taunt of a bully, containing little more than hot air. I'd already beaten one of these guys and I’d been almost totally unprepared. This time I had some measure of confidence and, despite the peculiarity of it all, I was properly equipped.

I stood with my head down and feet held in what I seemed to remember was the fourth position in ballet. I’m not admitting to reading any books on ballet you understand? Whatever, it seemed the most stable stance. My arms, naturally, I held firmly by my side.

My eyes were open, but my other senses told me more. I could hear the growls slowly getting closer, could almost feel where each of them was. They stepped out of the shadows and my peripheral vision confirmed they were exactly where I expected them to be.

They approached from opposite sides, slow and cautious. If I didn't want to be fighting them both together, I would have to take the fight to them. I started to tap out a simple rhythm with my feet, increasing the complexity and the degree of movement with each repeated measure.

My two adversaries paused and exchanged glances. It gave me my first opportunity, and I took it. Leaping high onto the air, I pirouetted around and kicked upwards. My target was fast and raised his hand ready to protect his chest. I saws the movement early and aimed higher, catching him under the chin with the spike of one of my heels.

On putting the shoes on, I'd noticed that the rear edge of the spike had been honed to razor sharpness. I'd not understood why at the time, but now it made perfect sense. With the heel of one shoe embedded all the way into this guy's neck, I brought the other slicing past underneath it. No attack to the heart perhaps, but removing the head worked just as well if any of the vampire movies I’d ever seen counted for anything.

The body collapsed to the floor and exploded into dust. The head remained impaled on my shoe long enough for me to spin around and send it flying at the other one, exploding just as it reached him, and blinding him temporarily.

Opportunity number two, and never let it be said that I would allow it to pass me by. It took three long strides to reach him, each footfall seeming utterly strange as I landed on one my spike heels each time, but each step was perfectly balanced and I reached him before he could recover.

He was canny enough to react to the sound of my approach, so I leaned back, just in time to avoid the threat from his flailing arms. I was off balance and underneath him. I looked for any easy way to turn this to my advantage, and found it in the form of his trousers. I didn't know if demon physiology was close to human, but I had to hope there were some similarities as they seemed happy enough to feed off us. I buried the toe of my shoe deep into his groin and lifted him bodily of the ground.

I was on my feet before he reconnected with the Earth, and I made sure he didn't remain unmolested for long, as I sank my heel deep into his back.

Dust to dust.

The rest were easy, coming as they did one after the other. The rhythmic rattle of my feet, combined with the seemingly chaotic movements of my legs, mesmerised each new monster long enough for me to move in close and bury a spiked heel into its chest.

Some of my adversaries were female, which had the gallant side of my personality bounding to the surface. Had it not been for the voice of my observer calling on me to treat them no differently, things might have ended very badly. As it was, I managed to bound out of the reach of the first one just as she took a vicious swing at me. A second or two to recover my wits and I didn't make the same mistake again. Not with her, nor with any of her girlfriends.

It ended up being thirteen rather than seven. It seemed that the sphere of influence of the rift had grown beyond Mr Irritating’s ability to hear, and more had arrived late to the party. It didn't matter much to me. I was exhilarated and on a high by the time I ran out of opponents.

I felt amazing. Not out of breath like I should have been after that sort of exercise, but raring to go another round.

I'd achieved things in that fight I hadn't thought my body capable of. High kicks where my knee almost came in contact with my own nose, acrobatic leaps that had me higher off the ground than my adversaries shoulders, and mid-air twists and tumbles enough to impress any circus audience.

Mr Giles came back into the room and I all but bounced up to him. My body made some disconcerting jiggling movements, especially on my chest, but I put them down to that well-hidden padding.

"Did you see me?” I squealed in excitement. “I was amazing! I've never done anything like that."

He looked grave, which was odd, because I thought he'd wanted this more than me.

"What's up? You look like someone just shat in your soup." My voice sounded strange.

"Something rather, er, unexpected has happened," he said. "I'm not sure exactly how to put this."

"Put what?"

"Would you, er, take off your shoes a moment please?"

"Why? Are you afraid I might attack you?"

"Well, that is an interesting thought," he let out a nervous laugh. "No, it's by way of, er, letting you down, er, gently."

I'd unstrapped my shoes by the time he'd finished talking and stepped out of them. I barely reached his shoulder.

"Why are you so tall?"

"Well, that's rather the point you see. Er, I'm not. It's the, er, magic you see. You remember I said it would make adjustments when you put on the clothes?"

"Yes?" His tone did not sound encouraging.

"Well, I rather expected it to make changes to the clothes."

"What?"

"Come to the changing room, there's a mirror."

#

It was still me, but smaller and decidedly cuter. I had wavy blonde hair now with a faint reddish tint to it, which was kind of amazing, and the heavier features of my face seemed to have receded and softened. The added weights on my chest were new parts of me, but the growing bulge under my skirt offered disquieting evidence that everything else was more cosmetic than anything.

I should probably have been mad. I mean that would be a normal reaction, wouldn't it? For a guy suddenly to find himself considerably shorter, lighter and decidedly more feminine That should have provided ample reason to fly off the handle, but it wasn't like that.

"I, I, I don't understand," Mr Tweedy said, taking his glasses off and cleaning them furiously with a pristine white handkerchief. "There have been male vampire slayers before now, who, who, who have remained eminently masculine in their appearance, and, and it would have made so much more sense to, to, to change these dresses into, I don't know, something else rather than, than, than this."

"It's okay," I said. "I don't know why it is, but it really is okay."

He reseated his glasses on his nose and gave me a startled look through them.

"Really? I'm not sure I'd be so calm."

"No, and I'm not entirely certain why I am, but it's cool. Maybe it's female hormones or something."

"I doubt it; Despite your appearance, I'm not sure you have any. Besides I'd have thought they would exacerbate your hysteria, not reduce it."

"Maybe you're right, except I feel no hysteria whatsoever. I can't explain it, but this just feels… right. Like something that’s always been off just clicked into place."

He shook his head.

"Well, however right it may seem, it's going to bring a few unusual problems our way."

"Yeah, like what's my dad going to say when he realises he's going to have to buy me a whole new wardrobe."

"I wish you wouldn't joke about this; it really is serious you know? This kind of physical change shouldn't be possible without some pretty invasive surgery followed by several weeks of recovery, if it's possible at all. I mean you've lost, what, four, five inches?"

"And about four stone at a guess. Ultimate diet."

"There you go again with the jokes! How do you propose to explain your transformation?"

"I don't."

"What?"

"You’re whatting again."

"What?"

"Exactly."

"I really don't understand you young people sometimes."

"That's okay, I mean that works in my favour doesn't it? It kind of gives me a basis for dealing with this."

"You're really not making much sense."

“No I'm not, but then how much sense does any of this make? Discounting magic, which most people would do anyway, what could possibly explain my transformation? And if there isn't a way of explaining it, why should anyone expect us to offer one?

"The best lies are the ones that stay closest to the truth, which in this case means that we just neglect to mention anything about the supernatural. Here's what happened:

"Nick and I went along to the Irish dancing try-outs – fact. I pissed off Miss Ephermeris who then decided to shame me by putting me in a dress and getting me to try some of the dance moves – also fact…"

"Which we may want to gloss over a little, since we don't want to get her into trouble."

"We can play it down, but there were quite a few people at school who witnessed the event. Anyway, I turned out to be pretty bloody good at the dancing…"

"Also a fact, which would have been no less true without the swearing."

"Alright, sorry. So Miss Ephermeris suggested I should come and see you."

"Yes, how do we explain that?"

"You're an expert on this form of dancing and she thought you'd be interested in coaching me. I mean you were present at the try-outs – shadowy figure at the back, sort of thing."

"Okay, I suppose there's truth in that."

"Yes there is. So anyway, you've been waiting most of the week for me to come and see you, but I've not been so keen – confusion with the whole dressing up as a girl thing and how it'll affect my status at college.”

“I’m not sure I’m so keen on that idea. Your parents would be justifiably upset at the idea of anyone putting you in a dress.”

“Okay then how do we explain this?” I waved my hands to indicate my body and clothes.

“W-well, you could say that I confronted you this morning and persuaded you to come, er, to come into my shop and, er, and talk”

"I suppose. Then once inside, you convince me to give the dancing trial a go, only like Miss Ephemeris, you only had girls’ costumes. I figured since it was just you and me, why the hell not...”

“Language please.”

“Why the fuck not then. Once I had a go, I realised that here was something I really want to do."

"I still don't understand how we explain the transformation."

"We don't! Have you taken stupid pills today? Or is it just something that happens to people when they grow up, in which case kill me now.

"Look, I put on the dress, we go into your practice area where you put me through a few routines. I discover that I'm pretty good, and that I enjoy it, even down to wearing the dress, then when I come back in here to change, we discover that something weird has happened to me. We can't explain it, but the way things are, my old clothes don't fit anymore, so I stay in the dress."

"And you think your parent's will be okay with what's happened to you."

"I doubt it, but they'll have to deal, the same way I am."

"Er, one very important point to make is, I need you to come back here. You need to train, and we need to try and thin down the number of vampires before the concentration of ley line activity goes critical, hopefully enough to prevent it from doing so. If you've undergone this much of a transformation after one visit with me, do you really think they'll allow you to come back?"

“Yeah. I mean, what evidence is there that you caused this change in me?”

“Circumstantial evidence.”

“Okay, but that’s hardly proof.”

“I doubt your parents will be that interested in proof. The merest suggestion that I might have had anything to do with it should be sufficient.” He was cleaning his glasses again.

“Maybe, but nothing can explain what’s happened to me, can it? And nothing’s going to change me back, is it? So in the end, what are they going to do?”

“That’s what I’m worried about. We really don’t have a great deal of time you see, and if they do as I suspect, and forbid you from coming back here, then the consequences will likely be severe. And, and for more than just you and me.”

“I thought it was you and I.”

“Common misconception. Imagine the sentence referring to yourself alone. The first-person conjugation would be the same in either case.” His voice was distracted as though he were speaking on autopilot.

“So what do you think me should do?”

“What?”

“You said imagine the sentence as though it was referring to me alone.”

“Good Lord, whatever do they teach in schools these days?”

“But...”

“This is hardly the time for a grammar lesson. Then again, I honestly have no better ideas than your crazy one. I have considerable misgivings about it, but in the absence of an alternative, it is at least a plan.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I believe it was John Claudius Louden who once said, ‘Any plan at all, even a bad plan, is better than none.’”

“Who was he? Some famous general or something?”

“No, he was a botanist, I believe.

"I think you're giving your parents altogether too much credit for rational thought. They're going to see their boy partially transformed, and they're going to get pretty upset about it."

"I imagine so, but what if I tell them this is what I want?"

"Is it?"

"I think so. I mean I've not really given it much thought before today, but the way things clicked for me since I came here this morning, and I guess the way I felt at the trials... I’ve always felt out of place, you know?"

"We all do to some extent when we're young. It's normal. Part of what drives us to change."

"The difference is that the way I am now, even as the freak I am…"

"You shouldn't say things like that."

"I am effectively a chick with a dick, a shemale. I look like a girl, even sound like one, sort of, but I'm not one."

"Point made, but you're not a freak. You’re just… different."

"Fine. The difference is that even… different… as I am, I feel more right than I ever have. I really do think I want this, and if being here and dancing, for whatever reason, can trigger more of a change, then wild horses won't keep me from coming back."

"I still think your parents are, are likely to object."

"Then I'll just have to be super persuasive, won't I? Look, there isn't any other way as far as I can see. We can't explain the transformation any other way, so we have to admit ignorance on that one, which means we have to show transparency elsewhere."

"I’m really not sure I like this."

"You don't have to. What you will have to do is get ready for a visit from the authorities."

"Now I really love your plan."

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Apart from lock you in a room with a bunch of bloodthirsty monsters.”

“Apart from that, sure. Maybe best you don’t mention that bit. For the rest of it stick to the script. You saw me in try outs. You wanted to talk to me about coaching me. When you talked to me today, you persuaded me to give you a trial.”

“And when they ask me why I chose to give you a dress to wear?”

“Tell them it was my idea.”

“What?”

“And you’re back to whatting, again.”

‘What?”

“Yeah, like I said.

“Look, Miss Ephemeris put me in a dress at try outs. That’s going to come out whatever happens. I’m going to be saying that since then I’ve had strange feelings about wanting to put one on again, and when you told me to get changed, that’s what I chose. If you can get hold of some male costumes to put in your wardrobe that might help them believe you.”

“I told you, there is no contemporary costume that would allow you...”

“To fight vampires. I get that, but we’re telling them I was trying out for Irish dancing.”

“Oh. I see what you mean.”

“So when I chose to put on this outfit, you tried to talk me out of it, but I said I’d only try out for you if you let me wear it. You had your misgivings, but I had already changed.”

“Alright, then how do we explain what happened to the clothes you were wearing when you turned up this morning?”

“Well, what did happen to them?”

“What?”

“I’m going to start charging you every time you do that.”

“What!?”

“Okay, one pound please.” I put my hand out

“What?”

“Two pounds.”

“Will you stop messing around?’

“Well you tell me what you actually did with my clothes? You know, in real life? They were beyond rescuing, I think you said.”

“I threw them in the rubbish bin.”

“Then maybe you should retrieve them.”

‘They’re disgusting.”

“I imagine they are, but I’m guessing they’ll clean up reasonably well. Leave them on the floor in the changing room and say I refused to change back, that I ran out of your shop wearing this lot.”

“What makes you think they’d believe that piece of fiction?”

“Because it’s what I’ll be telling them too. Sometime during our practice session my body changed into this. How I don’t know. I’ll probably tell them something about it being a creepy, occult sort of place, and maybe it was some kind of black magic did this to me. When I noticed, I freaked out and ran away.”

“Well, I suppose that’s plausible at least from your point of view, but what about your wanting all this?”

“It’s one thing to want to turn into a girl. It’s something else for it to actually happen, or nearly happen as in my case. I’ll say after I calmed down a bit, I realised this was actually something I was okay with.”

“Well, I suppose it’s not such a ludicrous story after all, except I imagine the police are going to ask me to provide some evidence to show I acted properly in all this. Innocent until proven guilty doesn't seem to apply when concerning misdemeanours involving minors, and I did invite you into the shop on your own."

"So we go back into the arena and you film me going through a few routines."

"God, that'll be worse. Not only am I luring you into my lair, but now I'm taking videos!"

"Except you give the video to me to take home. You didn't want to talk to my parents until you'd discovered whether or not I was actually as good at as you first thought, and something I wanted to do. I noticed your cameras and stuff and suggested you make the video for me to take home to show my parents as a sort of way to show them what this is all about, and to show off what I can do already. It'll give me ammunition for my discussion with Mum and Dad as well as provide evidence that you weren't doing anything dodgy."

"And if any vampires turn up while we're filming?"

"Then I take care of them, we clean up if necessary, record over the dodgy bits and try again."

He sighed.

"Well, I, I, I have to admit I have no better idea what to do, so I suppose we'll give it a try."

"It'll probably be better if the video has me in more conventional footwear though." I pointed to the blade-spike heels on the shoes I was wearing.

He reached into the back of the wardrobe and pulled out a pair of shoes with a considerably blockier and less lethal heel, then headed off in search of a video camera.

#

"Hi Mum, hi Dad, I'm home," I called as I walked into the house. "I, er, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Nerves were eating me up, but best to get this done with. I’d texted Nick after leaving the shop to say I needed some alone time. That wasn’t unusual for me, since I’d always struggled with bouts of melancholy, so he just text back with his usual easy going, ‘yeah whatever,’ and that was that.

Walking around in public in a dress after I’d left the shop had been more than a little disconcerting to start with since so many folks I passed turned to look at me. At first I couldn’t help thinking they could see through the clothes to the boy underneath, and paranoia added to the churning turmoil in my stomach. Then an old lady put a hand on my arm and stopped me.

“Are you alright dear?” she asked. “You look quite pail.”

I laughed nervously and shook my head. Long, full bodied, strawberry blond waves swung into my field of vision. “No, it’s...” My voice sounded high pitched and naturally girly. Reminders that I wasn’t exactly me. “Cramps,” I said with another short laugh. It was a magic word other girls my age used indiscriminately, guaranteed to conjure sympathy in most women and extreme nervousness in most men.

“Well best you get home then, dear. Do you live nearby? I used to find a hot water bottle helped.”

“Thanks. Yeah, I’m not far.”

“You’d be better off in more sensible shoes, dear, mind you I can see why you’d want to wear heels with legs like yours.”

I’d left the shop wearing the lower, blockier heels I’d used during the filming, but Mr Tweedy had insisted I take a pair of weaponised heels with me, which I had in one of his shop’s bags, complete with shop name and occult symbol printed on the side.

I thanked the lady again, a little nervous as to why a random stranger should stop me in the streets, but after that I started enjoying the attention a little more.

Until home appeared around the corner. This was not going to be any easy conversation.

Scene fade back to me standing nervously inside my front door, waiting with some trepidation for a response.

Dad appeared in his office doorway, his habitual friendly smile froze into a rictus grin at the sight of me.

"What do you think you're wearing?"

"It's a dress Dad. It's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Language, darling," Mum said as she came through from the dining room. "Hello sweetie, are you okay, your voice sounds a little… Oh my!"

"Yeah. Surprise! I'm sorry, but I didn't know how else to tell you."

"What happened to you darling?" Mum asked, taking in my shorter stature, narrower waist and other assets. Dad, by this time, was at the drinks cabinet, pouring himself a very generous glass of something.

It took me half an hour to go through my sanitised version of the events that led to me coming home dressed as a girl, and above all looking like one. Overall, it did not go well.

Throughout the whole thing I couldn't take my eyes off my dad's jaw as the muscles bunched with each new revelation. He refilled his glass twice and had more or less emptied it for the third time when I reached the end of my tale. I could see the worry in Mum's eyes, though whether she was more concerned about what I was telling them, or Dad's reaction, I'm not sure.

"I think that's about it," I said, "but it's not the whole story." It was evident that both my parents needed something more. Oddly I found I also needed to add something of my own.

"This has been building for quite some time," I added. "I can't be sure exactly when, but something’s felt off probably about as far back as I can remember." I had their attention. The last of Dad's drink hovered halfway to his lips. He lowered it again without drinking any more. Mum's eye's showed less concern and more interest.

"I've always felt different," I said slowly, deliberately. It struck me that I had rehearsed this moment in my mind before now, but I’d not never imagined a scenario with a good outcome, so to be actually going through with it was both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. "When I was a lot younger, I could never figure out exactly what, though. I remember at nursery school, I always wanted to play with the sewing boards, and do skipping with the girls, and I hated it when the lads went off to play football or something and I was made to go with them. They always called me a sissy, and I guess I was a bit of a wimp, and they'd pick on me and make fun of me.

"By the time I started at secondary school, I'd pretty much learned to keep to myself. None of the girls wanted anything to do with me because I was a guy, and pretty much the only guys who showed any interest in me were the ones who wanted to use me as a punchbag."

"I remember," Mum said gently. "You used to come back in the most awful states. Uniform torn, bloody nose. We had words with the school, but they said there wasn't much they could do."

"Nothing happened on school grounds, Mum. Except maybe the taunts and the threats. They waited 'til the end of the day and made sure they caught up with me on my way home."

"There was that one time during PE."

That had been a bad day.

We'd been changing in preparation for a couple of hours' worth of some mindless activity for which I knew I would have neither interest nor aptitude. Our PE teacher's phone had rung, and he'd disappeared to deal with some crisis elsewhere in the school, and the moment he had gone, a bunch of my classmates – term used in its loosest sense – had turned on me, half a dozen of them holding me down while one arsehole wrote 'fairy' across my forehead in biro. He wasn't gentle, and left enough of an imprint that the word had remained legible for more than a week, even after I spent an hour scrubbing at it to remove the ink.

The changing room had been suspiciously silent when the teacher returned, and he'd paused to find out what had been going on in his absence. He spotted me soon enough, and barely managed to conceal a smile once he made out the word. He, of course, asked me who'd done it, and when I refused to name anyone, he became angry with me, all but accusing me of bringing on my own misfortune.

He decided that punishment was in order though and turned on the rest of the class for information. When it became apparent that no-one was prepared either to own up or to point a finger, he sent me to the head teacher’s office and the rest of the class out to do laps of the running track in the rain for what remained of the lesson.

After an awkward fifteen minutes enduring the head’s baleful glare in stubborn silence, I’d been sent back to my class, where I’d joined the rest of them running in the rain.

When he called us in to shower and change, and still no-one would say anything, he put the entire class in detention, myself included since I wouldn't co-operate any more than the rest of them.

Through some bizarrely twisted logic which I still can't fathom, my classmates decided that I was somehow to blame for this latest misfortune, and I suffered a number of dirty looks as well as a minor accident or two in the showers. It scared the arsehole with the biro enough that he intercepted me on my way home, and threatened to make the scars permanent if ever I caused trouble for him. The worst of it was, I believed him.

Despite my protests, Mum and Dad took the incident to the police, which meant they came into the school and set up an interview panel. Somewhat predictably, I was interviewed first, and again I refused to give up a name, telling them I had no confidence in their ability to protect me. The worst they could do to arsehole was expel him from our school, possibly send him to borstal for a short while, but this would be little more than an inconvenience to him. He was one to nurture grudges and he lived in my neighbourhood, so sooner or later he'd catch up with me.

The police went on to interview the entire school, but arsehole managed to intimidate anyone he thought might be inclined to say anything, and by the end of the week, they had nothing new to go on, so they packed up and left us alone.

On the plus side, the few day's they spent in the school brought me a short lived respite from the usual bullying; on the minus, when it restarted, my persecutors had a lot of pent up frustration to get rid of.

After the police withdrew, I joined a school club for every afternoon of the week so I could delay my return home for an extra hour. It didn't work. Arsehole was intent on punishing me for what misdemeanour I can’t begin to imagine, and he made it all the worse because I made him wait. He did lose interest after a month or so though.

"School was a pretty miserable time," I said. "It was never something I could talk to you guys about, because when you reacted like you did that time, everything became worse. The police never had enough proof to accuse that guy of anything, he still caught up with me on my way home and beat me up, and everyone in the school ended up hating me, not just the kids, but the teachers as well."

"Why?" Dad asked. "I'd have thought they'd want to deal with someone like that."

"In the end, they were more worried about the school's reputation than anything else."

"So what did you do?"

"I kept my head down and tried to stay out of trouble. I did things that meant I got to stay on after school. Even after things blew over, I kept on with the after school things, because only the most persistent of the bullies was prepared to wait for me."

"I did think it was an odd selection of interests," Mum said. "Drama club, what was it, D&D or something? Tai Chi, art and the homework club. I mean you didn't even take art at GCSE, and you were never behind on your homework."

"Yes the drama was all the more puzzling," Dad said. "I mean after having that word inscribed on your forehead, didn’t you go and accepted the roll of Juliette in the school play. That made no sense."

"They only had female rolls left when I asked to join. The drama teacher wanted the play to be true to Shakespearean times, which meant no female actors. He couldn’t quite manage that but he was insistent the lead role should be a boy, and he liked me for Juliette."

"You did really well," Mum said through a sad smile.

It had been my first introduction to female clothing, and where I'd met Nick. It was a confusing time, in part because of my mixed feelings about the costume, and in part because of how the play had pushed me into an unusual interaction with him.

Part of me had loved wearing the dresses, but the bigger part of me had been worried about how the rest of the school would react. I almost quit, but the play was the only after school event on a Thursday, and I was more afraid of going home early, so I'd stuck with it. Fortunately the drama group were pretty open minded, especially with so many lads taking on the major female rolls, and news of my part in the whole thing only made it to the general population after the play's first showing, when local critics had raved about it, and me in particular.

Oddly that split the school. Most of the teachers, and even a number of the pupils were impressed that I not only took the roll, but did so well with it, and even though I ended up being taunted all the more by the rest of the student population, I had some people looking out for me, and that made life bearable for a while.

Nick, who had landed the roll of Romeo, and I became friends. I may have developed something of a crush on him, playing his lover in the play, but I wasn't gay, and neither was he I thought, so I sat on my feelings, and just enjoyed being with him.

I didn't wear a dress again after that, at least not until Miss Ephermeris insisted at the try-outs. On occasions I'd think about how I'd felt as Juliette, but my life was shit enough without borrowing trouble, so I'd buried those feelings deep and focused on my studies. Fortunately by then GCSEs had been looming and nobody had time for anything much other than study.

I helped Nick after school, and we both did better than expected in the exams. We then both went on to join the local sixth form college, and that was when life had improved.

For one thing I had my friend with me. For another I was studying only what interested me, and alongside others who were interested in the subjects. For yet another, the stuff we were learning had some depth to it at last. I’d always found school studies tedious and unchallenging.

"So anyway," I said, snapping back into the now, "I guess I was always too busy running away to really figure out what was going on in my life, and then joining in at the try-outs – it wasn't really my idea, but I found I really enjoyed it. I think those Tai Chi classes helped, you know, helped my find me centre, my balance, but for the most part it was amazing being up there. The dancing is so cool, and, and, and I'm not sure how to say this."

"Say what?" Dad asked, but I could see from his eyes that he was dreading the answer.

"Wearing the dress, being one of the girls. It was like when I did the Shakespeare, only more overwhelming. I feel right being a girl, more right than at any time in my life. It was confusing, but Miss Ephermeris suggested I go and see this guy at that weird shop at the arcade. Apparently he knows a lot about this sort of thing – the dancing I mean – and he was at the try-outs. She seemed to think he’d be interested in coaching me."

"To wear a dress?" Dad was outraged.

"There are guys who do Irish dancing as well, Dad. Miss Ephermeris mentioned this Micky Flatulance or something?"

"Michael Flatley." He corrected absently. "So how did you end up in a dress today then?"

"He had a wardrobe full of costumes and he asked me to change into one of them so he could evaluate me. The men’s things were a bit gay...”

Dad’s laugh interrupted me. “And what you’re wearing isn’t?”

“Dad, they were all sparkly sequins, tight leggings and open fronted shirts. Effeminate without being feminine. The dresses kind of felt more normal, less wrong. For me at least.

“He wasn’t that happy about it, but I told him if he wanted me to show what I could do, this was the only way it was going to happen.”

“He put me through a few routines, and each time he kept increasing the complexity and getting more excited about what I could do. He said the next thing to do would be to ask your permission to make a video of me he could take to some contacts of his in the business. I asked why wait, and he said he wasn’t about to film me without my parents’ permission, so I suggested he do so anyway and let me bring the video back to show you, that it would be so much easier for me to explain how I felt about this if I could show you. He relented eventually. Do you want to see it?”

I rummaged in the shop bag for the DVD he’d recorded.

“Stop, Mitchel,” Dad said. “This is... I don’t know, this is too much. You go out to the arcade with Nick for your usual Saturday morning mooch and you come back looking like a... looking like a...”

“Girl,” Mum finished for him. “I mean you look so different, and it’s not just the clothes. You even have...” She made a timid pointing gesture at my chest, as if any more overt acknowledgment if my booblettes’ existence would somehow make them real. “I mean how did this happen?”

I looked down at myself. “I don't know, Mum. I was my normal self when we started, then by the time I’d finished my workout, I looked like this." I indicated my body, "He was more astonished and upset by it than me. I mean, I know I should be freaked out by all this, but I'm really not. I really want this, Mum, Dad. However this happened, whatever caused me to change like this, I don't care, I feel amazing, and I don't want it to stop. Ever."

They exchanged worried glances.

"Look, I'll go and see doctors and psychiatrists, and whoever else you think, but please… All my life I felt I've been running away from shit, and I've never felt there was anything I particularly wanted until now. I know it's weird, but it feels like everything I've been going through has led to this."

"What's this person's name?" Dad asked, still a long way from convinced. "I want to talk to him."

"Er." It had never occurred to me to ask.

"You mean to say that you were prepared to let a complete stranger put you in a frock, and you don't even know his name?"

"Miss Ephermeris does. She recommended I go see him. I don't know Dad, it never came up."

Dad went hunting for the school directory, then picked up the phone, stabbing the buttons angrily. He paced while waiting for an answer.

"Miss Ephermeris. Richard Geller here. I was wondering if you'd care to explain to me why you thought it appropriate to put my son in a dress...

"Uhuh. Uhuh. And did you also dress Mitchel's friend up?…

"And why would that be? Wouldn't it have been more appropriate to make an example of them both?…"

He glanced across at me, evidently not pleased with what he was being told.

"I see. I believe you also suggested that Mitch contact a certain individual, you know owns that odd shop in town?…"

"Yes, that's what my son said… Yes I understand… I wonder, would you happen to have the gentleman's name and telephone number?"

He scribbled on a piece of paper.

"Thank you Miss Ephermeris, and just so you know, I don't consider this matter closed."

He put the phone down.

"Dad, she didn't do anything wrong…"

"She was the first to dress you up like this, she introduced you to that, that, weirdo, and now look at you."

"You think this happened because she made me put on a dress, or because what's his name…"

"Stuart Giles, apparently."

"...because Mr Giles did the same? Dad, this was in me before either of them got involved…"

"And it would have stayed in you. For God's sake boy, they've done a number on you, and you don't even realise it…"

"No Dad. It's like the rest of the world has done a number on me. Sure this is all a surprise, but I haven't been brain washed, not into accepting this." Again I pointed at the dress I was wearing. "If I've been conditioned in any way, it's to act normal. I'm sorry, but I'm not normal, and I'm not ashamed of being like this."

"We'll see," he said, poking at the numbers on the phone again. "Mr Giles? Yes, Richard Geller here. My son was with you earlier… Yes, Mitchel. I don't suppose… Yes I see, but you can't be serious… Yes, but he's my son… I know what he bloody well looks like, and I hold you responsible… No I don't care about that. I just want my son back… Mitchel is confused at the moment… Well, we'll see about that, won't we? No I don't intend letting him see you again. Good day.

"Bloody cheek."

"What did he say?" Mum had been quiet for some time.

"Tried to convince me that Mitchel was really good at this prancing about in a skirt. Told me that I should be listening to what he wants."

"Well maybe we should."

"He doesn't know what he bloody wants! Look at him!"

"He's right here in the room Dad, and he does know what he 'bloody wants'. If you'd just listen to what I've been trying to say…"

"No! I will not have this!"

"Dad, it's not up to you."

"It damn well is, at least for a month or so yet. May I remind you, young man, that you are not yet an adult in the eyes of the law, and while you are my responsibility, I forbid you from seeing that creepy nut job. What's more you can go and change out of those bloody clothes."

He pointed at the stairs and glared at me until I stood, a little uncertainly, to my feet.

"Go on dear," Mum said. "I need to have a little chat with your father anyway."

So I did. There were tears under the surface, but I kept them there. For the most part, I was angry. I wouldn't let it show though. Something in me told me that would be letting him win, so I just walked up to my room as calmly as I could.

Undressing was strange. My body was so different from the way it had been earlier. My skin was softer, and my body shape was so very changed. Not just the loss in height and muscle mass, but the broader hips, the narrower waist, the breasts, or sort of breasts. My nipples and the darker areas around them were still small, but there was no real question that they now sat on two fatty globes. I looked like a girl, all except for the bit between my legs.

I could hear raised voices downstairs, but couldn't make out the words. It was going to be about me, which meant it was going to be my business, but I decided not to try and listen. I didn't particularly want anyone to see the new me naked in any case.

I took time to hang the dress up properly, then went hunting for the sort of clothes my dad wanted to see me in.

The boxers hung loose and uncomfortable about my waist, and a little tighter lower down around my hips. The trousers were a joke, also loose about the waist and tight about my larger, rounder back end, and the legs were inches too long, reaching as far as my toes. The tee-shirt tented around my pectoral enhancements and hung loose everywhere else, and the sweatshirt swamped me, again with arms that were far too long.

I rolled up the trouser legs and sleeves to a serviceable length, and looked in the mirror.

I looked like a girl wearing her boyfriend's clothes; if anything I looked more like a girl wearing my own clothes than I did in Mr Giles’s dress. It brought a smile to my face, and for a second, I thought of Nick. A familiar, warm feeling rose inside of me, which I realised had worried me more than a little since our few moments of fame on the school stage, but which seemed far more natural now. I mean, sure I was still a guy, but looking at myself in the mirror, I felt more like the girl it seemed I'd always wanted to be. And if I really was a girl...

The voices had subsided downstairs. Now would be a good time to show them just how much difference male clothes made to my appearance.

The silence was one of those frosty kinds, with such a charge in the atmosphere that everyone with sense trod very carefully, in fear of grounding some of the unspoken anger. I didn't have that kind of sense, besides, I had some unspoken anger of my own.

"Hey Dad," I said keeping my voice as neutral as I could. "Is this better?"

He spun around, ready to let fly again, but what he saw apparently knocked the wind out of his sails. His legs gave out under him and he collapse. Fortunately into a chair.

"I changed my underwear as well, but I'm not sure it's doing much good. Neither my boxers nor my trousers fit anymore. They’re kind of tight across my bum, and way too loose up here." I lifted the excessive folds of my sweatshirt to show him my waspish waist. "Also , I took the bra off, but I think I need something to stop these guys from jiggling." I lifted the sweatshirt further and bounced on the spot. Tight as they were under my tee-shirt, my pseudoboobs responded with a suitably eye-popping performance. "Also, I really don't think my shoes are going to fit any more." I'd picked up a pair from the hallway and held them against one of my baggily socked feet. The shoe was a good inch and a half, perhaps two inches, longer.

"I hate to say, 'I told you so,'" Mum said quietly, "but…"

"How did this happen?" Dad managed after he'd regained some of his composure. You'd have thought it would have sunk in the first time he saw me. I mean the changes to my body were pretty out there, but I suppose you can live in all kinds of denial.

"I don't have an answer, Dad." At least not one you'd accept. "When you get into the dancing, it kind of takes over. I was concentrating so much on what I was doing, I don't think I can even tell you when it happened. Like I told you earlier, I started off looking like I used to, and by the time I'd done, I looked like this.

"I don't understand how you can't be upset by this though."

"Because it takes me closer to what I want to be. I can't explain it any other way, but I wish you could see that.”

“You weren’t like this yesterday, or this morning even, Mitchel. People don’t change just like that. To live is be slowly born.”

Okay, favourite quotes time, which meant lecture mode wasn’t far away. Intervention needed.

“Dad! I haven’t changed. Nothing’s changed.”

“After what you’ve just shown me, you have the temerity to I say that?”

“On the inside, Dad. That quote’s all about us changing on the inside. Sure, my body’s different, but the me inside is just the same. Except that me didn’t fit with what I was like on the outside, and now I’m closer to matching.

“You don't think I've tried to figure any of this out before today? I mean you must have noticed, I've been pretty low for a long time, and I’ve never been able to figure out why.”

“That’s just growing up, son. We all go through it.”

“You never went through what I did, Dad. I mean were you ever picked on at school?”

“How many times did I tell you, you need to stand up to bullies.”

“Yeah. ‘Pull yourself together.’ That was your answer to everything I went through, wasn’t it. Do you know how much it helped? Not one fucking bit!”

“Mitchel! Language!”

Mum didn’t particularly like bad language, but I don’t recall her ever and reacting so strongly.

“Sorry Mum.”

“Get in the car.” Dad’s lips were drawn into a thin line. “Go fetch that fucking dress and get in the car. We’re going to go see this Stuart Giles person. He did this to you. He can bloody well undo it.”

I looked at Mum, but there was no reaction. Apparently language was more of an issue if you looked and sounded like a girl.

I went to fetch the dress, folding it carefully and adding it with the tights and fighting shoes to the Magic Box bag. Since none of my shoes fit, I had to resort to the blocky heels I’d worn home.

Parking in the village was never an issue. The drive took place in stony silence with Dad’s grim expression inviting no conversation. There was something I needed to say before we went much further though.

“This isn’t going to do any good, Dad.” He glowered at me, but I pressed on regardless. “He was as surprised and upset as I was by the changes in my appearance – more so. He’s not going to have any idea how to reverse this. Besides, even if he does, I’m not going through with it.”

He turned his back on me an started striding towards the Magic Box. When he was in this mood, he just expected you to follow on. Mind you, if you didn’t, he tended to get upset with you, so Mum and I would generally go along with him until he calmed down.

Oh! That’s what Mr Tweedy meant by first person conjugation. It kind of made sense.

Yeah, I knew his name now, but Mr Tweedy worked better in my mind.

I hurried after Dad before he noticed I was falling behind, my shoes clattering along on the uneven paving.

I couldn’t believe how depressing the shop front looked. Blacked out windows with black surrounds and a black signboard written on in a faintly different shade of black. You could just about make out the words and the occult symbology, but I had to wonder why anyone bothered.

I pushed my way into the shop to find Mr Tweedy backed up against one of the walls with my dad very much up in his face.

Well, not quite up in his face.

You see, my dad’s not that tall and in this instance was head and shoulders shorter than his quarry, but he is super fierce when he puts his mind to it, so Mr Giles – I really ought to start calling him by his actual name – looked quite terrified, despite having a significant advantage in both height and weight. It might have been kind of funny if it hadn’t been so messed up.

“You turned my son into this,” Dad snarled, spittle flying from his mouth – some of it into Giles’s face, “so you can damn well change him back.”

“Dad! Stop!” It was pretty much a waste of breath when Dad was like this, but I had to try. “You can see he has no idea how to do what you’re asking.”

“You stay out of this, missy,” he growled at me, I’m pretty sure making a Freudian slip rather than being ironically sarcastic.

I couldn’t let him continue. He’d probably break something and get himself arrested. The thing is I’d inherited all his genes for height but none for aggression, and my recent transformation had made me shorter still, so I was half a head lower than my already little dad, and nowhere near raging like he was.

To be honest, that was probably an advantage if I was going any further with my training. The sort of rage that had my dad foaming at the mouth was more a sort of uncontrolled berserker thing that was more intimidating than dangerous. If he’d gone up against any of my earlier adversaries, he’d have had his arse handed to him. Probably quite literally.

With my oversized jeans and sweatshirt, I was decidedly not dressed for Riverdance Jujitsu, but I was considerably more lithe and athletic than I had been. I sprinted across the room and launched into a rapidly twisting somersault over my father, from which I was able to reach out and grab his shoulders and pull him spinning into a stack of books.

For myself, I managed to avoid hitting the relatively low ceiling and landed neatly in a tight space between further piles of the shop’s inventory.

Mr Giles removed his spectacles and polished them nervously, looking down at my father sprawled in an untidy mess of books.

“Thank, thank-you for the, er, the assist, Mitchel, but I’d just finished cataloguing those.”

I held out a hand to my dad and hauled him to his feet, very much aware of how much body mass and upper body strength I had apparently lost.

“Can we act like civilised human beings now please Daddy?”

“How did you do that?” he asked, rubbing at his elbow.

“Oh, that’s nothing, Daddy, you should see me dance. Only you couldn’t be bothered to watch the DVD, could you?”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Why not? You are my dad, aren’t you, or is there something you and Mum aren’t telling me?” I stooped to help Mr Tweed Suit – Mr Giles that is – pick up his books.

“It’s just...” My intervention seemed to have knocked all the bluster out of him. He bent down to help.

“Please don’t,” Mr Giles said in a politely petulant voice. “I believe I’ve had as much help from, from you as I can afford today.”

“It looks like I’ve damaged some of your stock, Mr Giles. How much would this lot be worth?”

“These two dozen volumes, probably somewhere in the vicinity of, er, five, five thousand pounds.”

Dad whistled. “I suppose that explains how you make money out of a place like this.”

“Er, yes. It’s not so much the monetary value though. You see, a good many of these are, are very rare. This one for instance is the only known copy in existence.”

“The Manticorium,” Dad read taking it from him and opening it. “What kind of book is it anyway.”

Stuart snatched it back from him and snapped it shut. “Quite a dangerous one if, if you don’t know what you’re doing with it.” He examined the spine which had been damaged in the tumble, then put it to one side with a stack of other books looking in need of repair.

“How do you ever sell anything? I mean I never see the shop open to the public.”

“Largely eBay and Facebook Market Place if you must know, but I don’t think you came here to discuss my business practices, did you?”

Dad’s mood darkened a little as he recalled the purpose of our visit. “No,” he said. “I came to ask why it is, after visiting your shop this morning, my son now looks more like my daughter, and don’t give me any rot about mystical mumbo jumbo.” He raised his finger and jabbed Mr Giles in the chest on the last phrase.

Stuart straightened his shirt. “And if you’d given me a chance to say anything when you barged in here, I’d have been happy to tell you that I have no idea. Mitchell came in to audition for me this morning. On his suggestion, we made a video, the only copy of which he took away with him. At the end of the session, we noticed some rather unexpected, er, changes to his appearance at which point he ran out of the shop wearing the er, the costume he’d put on for the trial.”

“And whose idea was it for him to put on a dress in the first place?”

“Mitchel?”

“I told you, Dad, that one’s on me.”

“So how do you explain my son’s current appearance?”

“I have nothing to offer you, at least since you don’t seem to be inclined to listen to any ‘mumbo jumbo hocus pocus’ er, rot.” This was the most extreme expression of anger I’d experienced from the reserved shop keeper. He didn’t quite go so far as to do the air quotes thing, but you could hear them in the way he spoke as much as you could hear his disdain for someone who dismissed his field of interest in such an offhand manner.

“You’re trying to tell me you think some magic you can’t explain happened while Mitch was here. That because he put on a dress to do this dancing of his, some weird hoodoo voodoo,” Dad wasn’t so restrained, waving his fingers in the air in a pseudo-spooky way, “turned him into this?”

“Perhaps you have a more convincing explanation why he is now several inches shorter, a couple of stone lighter and significantly different in pretty much every aspect of his appearance.”

“Well alright Mr Smartypants,” Apparently I wasn’t the only one with nicknames for Mr Tweedy, “why don’t we test your hypothesis and kill two birds with one stone?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well, unless I misunderstood, you’re suggesting Mitch turned into a girl because he danced in your disturbing little shop wearing a dress, and he wants me to see him dance, so why don’t we put him in a male costume and see what happens to him? You do have some male costumes, don’t you?”

“Er, yes, but I’m not sure…”

“Fine. Let’s go then. Mitch, I imagine you know where the costumes are?”

I nodded.

“Alright, you go and get changed. Mr Giles here will show me to the studio.”

I exchanged a worried look with Stuart, who shrugged and gave a hint of a nod.

Anyway, he had found a few men’s costumes. I pulled one out and smiled. This was going to be fun.

“I’m not sure about this, Dad,” I said, stepping out of what passed for the changing room.

Both Dad’s and Stuart’s eyes bugged out for a second before they turned beet red and turned around on the spot.

“What the hell do you think you’re wearing?” Dad asked.

What the hell was I wearing? The men’s costumes consisted of a pair of leggings and a heavily sequined top that was entirely open at the front, designed to show off a well-developed six pack and pair of abs, but doing nothing to help cover or support what I had on offer. The dresses had built in support, so I hadn’t needed a bra until now. I hadn’t been able to find one, but then again, I hadn’t looked too hard.

The top was long enough on me to cover the bits I really didn’t want anyone seeing, but the leggings were made for someone with a considerably larger frame, so I definitely had a Nora Batty thing going on down around my ankles. I still had on the block heels I’d worn home because none of the men’s shoes came anywhere fitting my smaller feet.

“It’s one of the men’s costumes, Dad. They’re all like this, and I really don’t think I can perform without a bit of support for these puppies.” I cupped my breasts in my hands just as my dad glanced over his shoulder, snapping his eyes away the instant he saw what I was doing.

“Go and cover yourself up.”

“Yes Dad.” I was tempted to Daddy him, but I knew when I was pushing him too far.

“You might, er, you might want to consider the other pair of shoes while you’re at it,” Stuart added.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Don’t worry about anything other than your performance.”

“Alright then.” I supposed that meant he had a way to distract Dad if I ended up with anything to fight.

I picked a different dress. As I’ve said before, the design of the dresses was pretty uniform, but the one I picked out was all reds and yellows with a flame motif to it. The shoe design was pretty much as consistent as the dress design, but I was pleased and unsurprised to find a red pair that matched the dress. It didn’t take me long to change. This time I made my way directly to the studio, as Dad had referred to it.

“Alright,” Stuart’s voice said over the PA, “let’s see what you make of this. It’s a little under five minutes. Don’t forget to cool down gently afterwards.”

“Doesn’t he have to warm up first?” Dad’s voice came over the loudspeaker.

“Not necessary. The music starts off slowly enough that it counts as a…” Stuart’s voice was muffled as though he were talking away from the microphone, then cut off in the middle.

I’d heard enough though. I had just under five minutes to dance well enough to impress my father, starting slowly, or at least slowly enough to count as a warmup. Then the interesting part would follow. I wished I had an idea how many were coming though.

I took up position four with my arms straight down.

The music started gently enough, which is to say, since it was intended for Irish dancing, it was no gentle waltz. It wasn’t particularly taxing either and I let my feet tap out their own gentle accompanying rhythm, adding a few skips and jumps as my muscles warmed up. The tempo of the music increased and my own efforts along with it. I could feel my body freeing up, becoming more supple with each move. I laughed as I abandoned myself to the dance, feeling it drawing to a close and entering my own final leap and landing to match it. As before, I was breathing without difficulty.

“I hope you see what your, er, what Mitchel and I have been trying to convey. I’ve rarely seen raw talent like. Come with me into the other room. I have a very agreeable thirty-year old single malt that begs to be drunk in company. Mitchel don’t forget your cooling down exercises. I’d have given that performance a, er, a seventeen I should think.”

Seventeen bad guys. No problem, though considering how he’d underestimated last time, chances were there’d be a few more. I settled into my rest position and let my senses roam the room.

The first charged me out of the shadows in near silence, but not silent enough. I gave my feelings control of my body and found myself leaping high, spinning with leg stretched out. The sharpened edge of the spike barely slowed as it pass through the creature’s neck. It exploded into dust.

The next attack comprised three of them attacking simultaneously, two from either side and the third from behind. I’m not sure exactly how to describe how that went, other than to say my mind and body entered a sort of instinctive flow, twisting and bending, jumping and kicking. I could feel the air moving as clawed hands swept past in vicious swipes, but somehow, I was always just out of their reach. They snagged my clothing occasionally, but never so much as touched me.

The first one disappeared in a cloud of dust when it overextended itself and came within range of one of my flying kicks. One spiked heel broke its sternum and entered its heart, the toe of the other foot pushing away from its chest just before it burst into nothingness, giving me just enough of a reaction to enter a twisting somersault and land back on my feet.

Two more vampires appeared before I had an opportunity to take out any more. The rhythm of the dance intensified, seeming to confuse or distract them just enough. Claws came sailing through the air missing my pinned arms by the narrowest margins. A twisting high kick decapitated one and I was down to three again. More were coming. I felt the presence of a new one and leapt out of the group surrounding me into a forward flip that ended up impaling both my spikes into the new arrival, just as she stepped out of the shadows.

A quick spinning attack with legs spread-eagled, in what would have been an undignified manner had there not been a pair of briefs sewn into the dress, sliced through the necks of one then two of my original attackers.

My legs came back together before I landed in what ought to have been a plum crushing manoeuvre, but oddly, I felt no discomfort.

Not a time for distractions. I launched myself sideways in a twisting backflip that left another new arrival charging into the last of my original assailants and landed in a pirouette with my right leg high enough to slice open the belly of a particularly large newcomer. He stood, momentarily dumbfounded, as he watched his intestines spill out into a putrid mess in front of him. It was revolting, but it gave me a long enough moment to leap high into the air and plant a flying sideways kick into his chest. Fortunately, his guts disappeared in the same cloud of dust that consumed him.

I’d lost count of how many I’d dispatched, but then I was a little preoccupied. I mean true, I was acting on instinct, but my instinct seemed to be making full use of my brain since I didn’t have space to think of anything else. If anything, my consciousness was adding a little to my unconscious fighting ability, as on occasions I’d notice some new threat in the corner of my vision and moments later, my body would change position or flow subtly to take it into account.

The battle went on, very much one sided with the constant flow of enemies outmatched by my movements. I took very much a back seat, buzzing with the overflow of adrenaline streaming through my system. I knew I’d pay for it soon enough, but for now… what a high! It was the weirdest feeling. On one level it felt like someone or something else was in the driving seat, but on another, I knew it was me doing all this.

The floor was becoming slippery with all the dust building up on the floor, and I had to control my breathing to keep from inhaling the filth still hanging in the air, but eventually the constant onslaught petered out and I was able to take a pause. I didn’t know how long I’d been at it, but I was breathing a little harder than usual at the end. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest and my breasts rising and lowering as I sucked in much needed oxygen. An absence between my thighs meant that my habitual position four felt more comfortable than usual. That might have bothered me a little, only at that point I felt more than heard a deep rumbling growl, right down at the limit of human hearing.

I pivoted on the balls of my feet to face something new.

It stood with a slight crouch, its bald skull just about brushing the tall ceiling. If there had been clearance, it would have stood twelve feet tall with its broad, muscled chest spanning three quarters of that. You’ve heard people described as having arms as thick as most people’s thighs? This guy’s were thicker than most people’s waists, and that’s taking into account the current obesity epidemic in the western world. Thighs like tree trunks only worked if you had in mind a veteran oak. The only thing he was missing was the green skin.

I could feel the fear rising inside me and fought to control it. “You have this,” I told my inner self. “It’ll take a bit longer than the others and you’ll have to slow him down a little, but he’s just meat and bones.”

My inner self seemed to respond and the squirt of emergency adrenaline turned into a thrill of heightened awareness just as vampire hulk charged, and just as well, because he was fast!

I dived to the side, rolling under his outstretch fist as he charged past. The build-up of dust on the floor worked in my favour as the immense creature skidded past and slammed into the wall with a resounding crash. That was going to alert Dad to something, I realised, but not much to do about it right now. My own spiked heels dug into the wood of the floor, acting like studs on a wet football field, and I was up and leaping at him. If I was lucky, I had a brief opening here.

I was. He was still shaking some sense into his dense brain when I landed on his back and sliced one blade spike through the back of his neck. I pushed away, and not a moment too soon as he swung around with unnatural speed and ferocity, lashing at me as I somersaulted out of his reach.

By rights he should have turned into a boneless heap on the floor. Surely my kick had severed his spinal cord. How was he communicating with his limbs right now? Still, not human. Note the unnatural speed, the less than human appearance. Don’t make assumptions. Didn’t some dinosaurs have a second brain of sorts at the base of their spines? Maybe something worth exploring when I had the chance, but we had the measure of each other now. This creature showed some degree of feral intelligence in its eyes and I doubted it would underestimate me again in a hurry.

“Mitchel, are, are you alright?” Stuart’s voice came over the Tannoy.

“A little preoccupied at the moment,” I called out.

“Yes, yes I can see that, but…”

“Where’s my dad?”

“Still, still in the other room. I told him I’d check.”

“Then go and tell him I’m alright. Make up some excuse. Tell him I was trying some high kicks and knocked something heavy off a shelf or something.”

“That’s… alright. Are you sure you’re okay though?”

“What would you do if I said no?”

“Erm. Yes, I suppose. Well, don’t die.”

“Grateful for the advice. Any idea what this thing is?”

“Er, no. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Then go back to my dad and stop distracting me.”

“Erm… yes, alright.” The public address switched off.

Mr Growly gave me an evil grin, designed to intimidate. I returned it with a bright one of my own, all sparkly eyes and gleaming teeth, complete with little girly wave.

He didn’t like that much. His smile turned to a snarl and he ground his feet into the dusty remains of his companions.

Still, that was good, wasn’t it? Scared and angry opponents made mistakes.

He came at me in a slow lumbering run, surprisingly light on his feet and stooped low onto his fists to avoid hitting the ceiling. I dropped into a gentle dance rhythm which did little to intimidate him. He slowed a little, but that was it. It built up my confidence though, as well as the confidence of my unconscious self. It looked like there would be just enough clearance…

He lunged at me. In the same moment I dived over his head, half twisting and bending my knees to bring my bladed heels cutting deeply into his back. He howled in pain and rage, arching his back to escape me. As I reached the base of his spine, I arched as well, stabbing the full length of the spikes into a small bulge just above his arse crack, before the momentum of my rotation brought my blades clear and flipped me round to land on my feet.

A glance up at his neck, at the first wound I’d inflicted, where the flesh was knitting together almost before my eyes.

He spun on me and lunged again, reaching out with those mammoth fists of his. I desperately wanted to bring my own up to block him, to counter his attack, but an image of what would happen to me if he caught hold of my arms flashed across my mind’s eye and I managed to keep them pinned to my side. Instead I fell back, bending into a slightly seated position and pulling my knees up tight as I landed on altogether too much padding and rolled in a backward somersault to come to my feet out of his reach, but altogether too close to the wall.

He lunged again, but his legs weren’t obeying him properly. He overbalanced and fell forward leaving me an opening to launch off the wall behind me, tuck into a somersault and land with all the force my small body could muster between his shoulder blades, one spiked heel digging in either side of his spine.

Would it be deep enough? His chest cavity was massive. Would my heels be long enough to reach in as far as his heart? I crouched and pushed hard enough to tug my spikes free. The thrust compressed his chest just a fraction more and he exploded into dust just as I jumped clear. I didn’t quite achieve the launch speed I was looking for, so I had to tuck into a tight roll in order to land properly, but land I did.

The dust cloud filled the room; there was no escaping it. I held my breath and kept my feet tapping constantly as it settled slowly around me. It took it’s time, so after a moment, I held one of the loose sleeves of my dress up to my nose and mouth and breathed through the material until my vision cleared. No tingle from my spidy sense, no subsonic growling to loosen my bowels, no movement, no nothing. I brought the tapping to a gradual stop. That would count as my cool down period. I needed to get back to Dad and the Mr Tweedle-Dee.

The red dress wasn’t in a great state. If red was supposed to be lucky, as believe the Chinese, this particular choice hadn’t been particularly lucky for the dress. More claws than I could count had caught the loose material of the skirt and sleeves tearing miniature shreds into them. I stripped it off, along with the tights – which had avoided snags – and reached for my boxers. Dad would be expecting me back in guy mode, except they wouldn’t fit. I could pull them up as far as my hips, but then the elastic was stretched to its limit and would go no further. I picked up my jeans and offered them up to my lower body. There was no way they would fit now. I dropped everything to the floor and turned to examine myself in the mirror.

Now that was different.

#

“Dad? I know what you’re going to say, but my clothes don’t fit any more.” Dad held a cut glass tumbler with a very generous amount of amber liquid. It was halfway to his mouth. “How many of those have you had?”

“I don’t see how that’s any business of yours, young lady.” His words tripped over themselves as they emerged from his mouth. Mind you, he’d already had a few before we came here.

“Keys,” I said, holding out a hand and planted the other on a seriously cocked hip.

“You can’t drive,” Dad slurred. “You’re not old enough.”

“You can’t drive either, you're not sober enough. Hand them over.”

“Where’s Mitchel? Where’s my son?”

“You don’t have a son, Dad.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Well, you know how you thought this prancing about in a dress had made me look like a girl, and I didn’t really argue with you?”

He stared at me, his eyes swimming in and out of focus.

“Well now I’d have to argue with you.”

“Whatever are you drivelling about?”

“I could show you, but if your reaction to when I did that last time is anything to go by, you really won’t like it.” Memories of the considerably larger nipples surrounded by considerably larger darker areas – what were they called? – perched on the top of a pair of considerably larger boobs. Well that much was evident from the way the front of my dress stood out now. Then there had been what was between my legs, as well as what wasn’t. I’d felt around it with my fingers, but only for a fleeting moment. The whole sensation had been too strange.

“Mitchel? You’re not Mitchel. Mitchel isn’t as pretty as you, and his hair’s darker.”

“Sorry Dad, it’s me, and I’m going to need a new wardrobe.”

“What’s wrong with the one you’ve got? Okay, it’s only a flatpack thing, but it does the job.”

I sighed and walked up to him. He generally kept his car keys in his right-hand pocket. I reached in.

“Hey! What are you doing?” He tried squirming out of the way, but that would have risked spilling the contents of his glass, so I managed to dip in quickly enough to grab the keys and withdraw. I also came into momentary contact with something large and swollen moving about independently of its owner’s control.

Ew!

Mind you, until very recently, I been in possession of one of those, and I knew they had a life of their own.

Even so, Dad! Ew!

“Come back with those keys Mitch. Mitch, I’m warning you.”

“What are you going to do, Dad? Fall on your face at me? You wouldn’t want to risk spilling your drink, would you?”

I fished in my sweatshirt pocket and pulled out my phone. It wasn’t pink. I wanted it to be pink. I looked at Mr Giles who was sitting in another chair with his own glass of amber nectar, very wisely staying out of the family squabble. He gave me what I imagine he thought of as a meaningful look, but there wasn’t much meaning too it that I could make out. We did need to have a long conversation in our near future, but it would have to wait till he was sober. I hit a speed dial.

“Hi Mum, could you come down to the arcade? Yeah, to the weird black shop. It’s called the Magic Box, not that you can tell from looking at it. No, the owner kind of offered Dad a drink, or maybe five, which on top of the three he already had before we came out… Yeah, I know I sound odd. Can it wait till you get here? Okay, thanks Mum. Love you.”

Where had that come from? I mean I do love my mum but telling her was something reserved for birthdays and Christmas.

I supposed Christmas was near enough and my birthday due to follow shortly after.

I perched on a chair opposite Dad and well out of his reach, my legs naturally together, and put my phone and Dad’s keys down on the table next to me.

“So, did we make friends yet?” I asked. “I mean, I can see you made friends with that bottle of scotch, but with each other I mean.” That was more I means than the sentence deserved, but whatever.

“Your father was quite impressed with your performance. Less so with your costume, but the dancing itself was, how did you put it?”

“Excesseptionalal.”

“Exactly. We were discussing whether or not your parents would permit me to train you. Your father says He’s alright with it in principle, but he really isn’t comfortable with your dressing as a, er, as a girl.”

Apparently Stuart could hold his booze a little better than Dad. That being said, Dad did have quite a head start on him.

“Well, he’s going to have to come to terms with it. It’s not as if I have much of a choice anymore.”

“What?”

“You’re whatting again?”

“You’re not making a great deal of sense again.”

“Well, you know how my appearance changed last time I was here?”

“Yes, I can see. You’re a little smaller again. A little prettier. A little, erm…” He waved his hands in a vague yet expressive manner.

“Better endowed?”

“Erm, yes.”

“It’s not just cosmetic this time.”

What?”

“I don’t know how to put it without being blunt, or is that what I need to be? I am no longer male, at least not in any way that I can see. I no longer have my meat and two veg – which in case you’re still being dense is a euphemism for penis and testicles. In their place I have a sizeable pair of mammary glands up here, complete with aureolae," – aureolae, that's what they were called –, "the size of an Oreo and nipples the size of peanuts. I also have labia, though I haven’t quite found the courage to explore that part of the new me just yet.”

That silenced him. He stared at me until I began to worry I might have broken something. I adjusted my position slightly.

“Good Lord.”

“Do you think he was involved?” Almost a genuine question, but my automatic go to mode when things get rough is smart Alec, or maybe that should be smart Alexa. Assuming a certain international tax dodging mega-corporation hasn’t trademarked the name yet.

“So yeah. Questions for later when we don’t have an audience.” Dad’s head was wobbling. He’d be asleep soon, but hopefully not before Mum and I could get him home and into bed.

“Yes, of course. In the meantime, I’ll do some research. See if I can pre-empt a few of them, shall I?”

“I’d appreciate that, yeah.”

“Otherwise, no problems?”

“I think you need to work on your predictive algorithm.”

“What?”

“Seventeen was a little under the mark, again. And it would have been nice to have a bit of a heads up about the special.”

“That last one?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I have an idea on that front. More on that later.”

“Sure. Do you know anyone who can fix clothes?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Distinct improvement on what.

“The red dress needs a little attention, if it’s not beyond hope.”

“I’ll, I’ll see what I can do. Do you have any idea on when your mother will get here?”

“She’ll probably take the bus. I mean I walked home earlier and it took me like forty minutes or something. Mum kinda walks slower, and I don’t think her shoes are so comfortable over long distances.”

“Please don’t start talking blonde. I don’t think I could bear it.”

I offered up a mischievous smile. “The buses near our place leave at five minutes past and every fifteen minutes after that. If Mum hustled, she might have caught the thirty-five minute passed, which takes ten to twelve minutes to get here, depending on traffic. So earliest she could get her would be about…”

The shop bell rang. I hadn’t even realised it had a bell. I looked up.

“Now. Hi Mum.”

“Mitchel?”

“Surprise?”

“I thought you were coming here to reverse these changes.”

“That’s what Dad wanted. Like I said earlier, I’m kind of cool with this new look. Besides, whatever changed me in the first place seems to agree with me. Dad had this crazy idea that if I went and did a bit more dancing but wearing a guys costume, I’d change back.”

“And that didn’t work.”

“The guys costumes were all open at the front down to the navel.”

“Oh.”

“Dad took one look at me and told me to go cover up, so I put on a different dress. Then by the time I’d finished the dance routine, I… Well, I’d rather show you, but maybe we should get Dad home first.” I handed her the keys. “The car’s just outside in the arcade carpark. Mr Giles, do you think you could help us carry him outside?”

“Oh, oh, yes of course.”

Stuart wasn’t particularly strong as men go, and for all his short stature, Dad was largely a slab of muscle, so it needed two of us to manhandle him out to the car. I didn’t really think I’d be a lot of help, but I could probably have carried him out to the car by myself. Except that would have turned quite a few heads. Dainty little girl in block heel – yeah, I didn’t mention before. After I had a good look at my new body in the mirror, I picked out a green dress with cream sleeves and put it on. I couldn’t find any underwear, but the dress incorporated support for my larger upper body assets as well as a sewn in pair of briefs. It wasn’t the most hygienic thing in the world, wearing clothes without underwear, but I didn’t have any better options available. I also switched back to the block heels I’d worn home since my spike heels would probably have classed as lethal weapons in the real world and ended up with me being arrested. That would have been a whole bunch of fun, explaining to the pedestrian minds of law enforcement officers how I was Mitchel Geller, that up until recently I’d been a boy, but now…

Sorry, getting side tracked. Anyway, the sight of a dainty little girl in mini dress and block heels carrying a man twice her weight would have turned a few heads, especially in the sleepy little back of beyond we inhabited. Seeing my dad so drunk he couldn’t walk in the middle of a Saturday afternoon was sensational enough, and Dad had a few days of cringeworthy embarrassment ahead of him.

What am I saying? He’d be lucky if he lived this down by Christmas.

So Mr Giles carried the larger part of the load with me doing my best to look ineffectual but offering real help the once or twice it looked like Stuart was about to drop my dad. We managed to get him into the car before too many eyes turned our way. Chances weren’t great that we’d avoided the gaze of one of the neighbourhood’s resident gossips though, but that was Dad’s problem. I hadn’t done much to help him cope with all this, but in the end, he was the adult and he really should have known his limits.

“So, what did you want to show me, dear?” Mum asked as we pulled out into the light traffic. Yeah, mid-afternoon Saturday, and the traffic was almost non-existent. What does that tell you about Summervale? Okay Christmas approaching and better shopping options in the city, but…

“It involves taking clothes off, Mum. Can we wait a few?”

“Of course. How did everything go between your father and Mr Giles? He seems a nice enough man.”

“He is. At least I think he is. I really only met him today. He’s a bit odd, but he seems genuine enough.”

“In what way odd?”

“Well, you heard the way he speaks.”

“I found him very well spoken, and polite.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not really used to that.”

“So tell me what happened. You mentioned what your father said and what the men’s costumes were like.”

So I took her through the story and had her laughing by the time we pulled up onto our drive. There was no avoiding the twitching curtains. All we could do was minimise exposure, so Mum went to unlock the front door while I hauled a gently snoring dad out of the back seat. I managed to hold him upright and make it seem like he was walking under his own steam, at least I think I did. I mean, it’s not as if little old me could have held him up by myself, is it? If only I’d managed to keep his head from lolling about like that.

Mum locked up the car while I sat him in his chair in front of the TV with an unopened can of beer and a glass of water on the table beside him. Random sports rubbish showing on the big screen. If anyone should come to the door, all they’d see was business as usual in the Geller household.

Mum followed me upstairs and into… I picked their room. It would be neater than mine as well as larger. She looked on curiously while I unbuckled the shoes then unzipped the dress. Her eyes opened wide as I revealed her remodelled child.

“How on Earth…”

“I don’t know Mum.”

“But you’re a…”

“I know Mum.”

“This is…”

“Impossible? Apparently not.”

“But you’re a…”

“Not any more Mum.”

Sometimes you have to be patient with grownups. It’s like they lose the capacity to imagine the world as anything different from what they’ve always known. Einstein had a couple of quotes that kind of work here. In the first he said, ‘Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.’ In the second he said, ‘A person who has not made his great contribution to the field of science before the age of thirty will never do so.’ I suspect he was older than thirty when he made the second comment, because it shows a limit to his imagination that he couldn’t envisage an old person capable of imagining something new.

I answered several more half statements from my mother before inviting her to examine me more fully. I mean, she was my mother after all. She’d seen me naked before now, bathed me changed me, all those sorts of things, so I had no issues with her putting her hands on me, and I couldn't think of many things that might convince her more than offering her that sort of intimate contact.

She made her examination with a gynaecologist’s pragmatic and dispassionate approach, albeit with shaking hands. It didn’t take her long to convince herself. She sat down heavily on the bed while I stepped back into my dress.

“I’d offer to get you a drink, Mum, but I’m in rather desperate need of clothes. Underclothes especially. Do you think we could go shopping?”

“Cup of tea please, dear.”

“Mum?”

“Tea first. Something to calm my nerves a little, then we can go shopping.”

“Alright. No sugar, right?”

“Maybe one today sweetheart. This is quite a shock.”

“I know, Mum. You and Dad are taking it amazingly well. Let me put the kettle on.”

She joined me downstairs in the kitchen before I had everything sorted. Dad was still snoring gently in the front room and I had most of the necessary gubbins for the English Tea Ritual out and ready. Milk in the jug, teapot at the ready for when the kettle was hot enough to warm it, tea caddy with tea leaves, strainer, bone china cups and saucers, and a plate of jammy dodgers.

“I thought the biscuits might do better than spooning the pure, white and deadly directly into the cup.”

“Perhaps you’re right.” She picked up a biscuit and started nibbling at it. “I thought you believed that a tea bag in a mug was good enough.”

“Good enough for Mitchel maybe, but not good enough for my mum.”

“You know we’re going to have to do something about that name now. I don’t suppose there’s any going back to the way things were, is there?”

“If there is, I don’t have the first idea how, and even if I did, I wouldn’t want to.”

“Tell me that after your first period, dear.”

I added water to the teapot and swirled it about, then transferred a couple of spoons of tea leaves into the pot while the kettle finished boiling.

“Is that what I’m going to get from you now, Mum? Unvarnished, in your face, honest to God brutal truths.”

“Well, you say you feel happier as a woman, but it’s not all sunshine and roses you know? Could you add another spoonful of tea? I could do with something a little stronger than usual.”

I did as directed then poured in the boiling water, putting on the teapot lid and tea cosy, glancing at the kitchen clock to start a mental timer.

“This is where I get my first lecture on glass ceilings, lower pay grades for women, the need to be careful around young men because they all have their faults and I’m the one at risk of getting pregnant.”

“Oh my, where did all that come from?”

“I’m not sure. The land of make believe maybe?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Kind of one of those things you do when you’re me, I guess. No way of having what I want in the real world so explore it in my imagination. There was a time I tried to convince myself I was better off by doing a pros and cons analysis. You know that’s when you make lists…”

“I know what a pros and cons analysis is, sweetheart. You have the wrong equipment to be mansplaining to me, you know.”

“Sorry Mum. Anyway, even after I’d come up with everything I could think of on the cons side, and it was a lot longer than the list I just gave you, including the monthly grots, I put just one thing in the pros column and the whole balance shifted.”

“What was that, dear?”

“To feel like I belonged in my body.”

“Oh, darling!” She had her arms around me and my eyes were leaking like I’d burst a grommet.

The moment didn’t last long. It could have and I really wanted it to, but the clock showed the tea had been brewing for four and a half minutes. I needed to do something with it before the tannins started coming out.

“Would you pour the milk, please?” I asked as I retrieved the teapot from under the cosy.

She did so and I poured out a couple of cups of deep golden nectar.

Mum took a sip of hers while I picked a Jamie dodger off the plate.

“That’s another thing you’re going to have to watch.”

“I think I’ve burned enough calories today, Mum, and yes, that was on my cons list too. I may be new to actually being a girl, but I’m no stranger to imagining what life would be like if I actually was one.”

“Alright, no more lectures, at least for the time being. I reserve the right to revisit any and all related topics at any time in the future.”

The tea did taste good. So much better than tea bag in a mug. Maybe there was something in this after all, and all I’d needed was finer sensibilities.

“I don’t want to be Michelle,” I said. It was a bit left field, but Mum was their ready to catch it.

“God no. I mean, I suppose it would make things less complicated, but no. How do you feel about Sarah? It’s what I had in mind if you’d been born a girl.”

I rolled it around in my mind for a few seconds. It had the bonus of being a gift rather than a grab. I smiled.

“I like it.”

“Very well Sarah, I’m going to pop to the loo. When you’ve finished your tea, I suggest you do too, then we have a little shopping to do.” She snatched up the plate of biscuits and emptied it into a tin which then went away in one of the cupboards.

‘Out of sight, out of mind,’ Gran always used to say. It wasn’t a bad way of overcoming temptation, and it was only old habits telling me I really wanted another. I took my time over my tea, savouring the new depth of flavour, the added experience from the texture of the fine china, even the delicate colours of the patterns on the cup and saucer. All senses seemed to be involved in the experience, and I didn’t want to miss any of it.

“Come on slowpoke. The shops won’t stay open forever.”

I had never enjoyed shopping more. My feet ached and we’d about doubled the mortgage on the house, but I had so much new stuff. We did just about manage to empty the back of the car in one trip when we arrived home, but only with both Mum and me carrying as many bags as would fit in each hand.

“What the hell is this?” Dad grumbled from his seat. The water on his table was untouched and there were a couple of extra beer cans beside the one I’d left him. Well, if he wanted to start Sunday with a hangover, that was his lookout.

“We’ve been shopping,” I announced cheerfully. “What do you think?” I was wearing a simple, knee length, white summer dress, a pair of white sandals with almost no heel and a riotously ridiculous hat with a brim wide enough to protect all my delicate exposed skin from the naughty sun and its harmful UV rays. Yes, it was December, but the skies were clear. I pirouetted elegantly and swept past towards the stairs.

“How the hell much did you two spend?” This last question he directed at my mum. “And what do you think you’re doing pandering to this ridiculous whim of his.”

“It’s not a whim, dear. I don’t know how it happened, but we now have daughter. If what she’s been telling me is true, it’s possible we always did, only now by some amazing miracle, she’s shed her boy skin, like a butterfly climbing out of its chrysalis.”

“What the hell rubbish is this?”

“You’re grumpy dear. We’ll talk about this later when you’re more reasonable. It’s late and I didn’t have time to cook. Would you put a call into the Chinese and order a takeaway for us?”

“Can we afford it?”

“I’ve been putting a little money aside. This all came from my savings dear.”

“Savings? Since when did you have money to put aside?”

Mum and Dad have a traditional relationship. He earns the money, she looks after the home. At least that’s what it looks like on the surface. Mum had let me in on the secret, and I wasn’t going to spoil her fun.

“I’ll tell you about it sometime, dear. When you’re a little less grumpy and when you decide to show a little more interest in my life.”

I was kind of on Mum’s side in this argument. Kind of. I mean the pendulum swings because both sides want something different, and the further they are from achieving it, the harder they pull. This means that every time one side gets what they want, they relax, and the other side pull it out from under them. The best answer would be to compromise. Neither side would get exactly what they wanted, but the happy medium in the middle would still be good enough. With everyone chasing his or her own ideal, they whizz through the compromise point so fast no-one sees it as an option, so the battle continues ad infinitum. The trick is to pull just hard enough to get to the compromise point and no harder. That’s what kind of feminist I want to be. One who’s a masculinist as well. One who’s not going to be so consumed with wanting what’s best for me and mine that I’m prepared to tromp all over the other side.

It’s what always amazed me about the women of the past. I mean they didn’t have that much choice being dominated by so much aggression, but it always seemed that the powerful women of history were the moderating influence in the world. If men in general hadn’t been such dicks about it, maybe they wouldn’t have pushed women over the edge, and we wouldn’t be caught up in this stupid tug of war.

Maybe I had a different perspective, having lived on both sides at different times. Maybe less than a day as a woman wasn’t enough time to form any firm conclusions. Besides, I had clothes to unpack and put away, and before I could do that, I had all my old clothes I needed to chuck out.

The meal was an uncomfortable, frosty affair, Dad fuming, Mum silently inscrutable and me stuck in the middle. Mum had given me smaller portions than usual – about half the size – and I’d accepted it because logically my stomach would be smaller. I really didn’t want to put on weight, and even if I was likely to be burning more calories than an Olympian, I wanted to err on the side of caution until I found my new balance.

I ate slowly and delicately, instinctively aware that I would earn disapproving looks from Mum if I didn’t, and still emptied my plate before my parents were halfway through theirs. As soon as I finished my last mouthful I asked to be excused. I had homework, which I’d usually leave to late Sunday, but this time I just wanted to escape the battle of the frost giants.

Back within the relative safety of my room, I sent Stuart a text. I wasn’t entirely sure he had a phone capable of receiving one, but don’t try don’t get and all that. I needed to talk to Nick too, and boy was that going to be an awkward conversation. I started going through different scenarios imagining what I was going to say to him. My phone buzzed rescuing me from my most promising idea so far – ‘Hi Nick, I caught cooties and it turned me into a girl.’ Yeah, we don’t have cooties on this side of the pond, but we get enough American television that we know what they are. Sort of.

It was Stuart. The text, I mean.

“How did this afternoon go with your mother?” he asked, my mind mentally inserting a few stutteringly repeated words here and there.

I took that as an invitation to call him and dialled his number.

“Hello?” Apparently not recognising my number, which meant he hadn’t come to terms with all the intricacies of his mobile phone.

“It was great. All I needed to do to convince her was take my clothes off, and maybe give her a few minutes to take it all in.”

“Oh, hello Mitchel! I always thought yours was the generation of text messages, emails and those ghastly emoji things.”

“Some of us are capable of living in retro mode,” I said while texting him a poo emoji. Multi-tasking was so easy.

“Oh. Yes, well, er… Oh. What is that?” I assumed the emoji.

“Add it to your research list,” I told him. “Dad spent most of the afternoon passed out in front of the telly. Mum took me shopping and spent a small fortune on me. I have a pink case for my phone now.”

“Yes, I’m very pleased for you. Does this mean your parents accept your, er, your changes?”

“Mum does, but then I didn’t give her much room for denial. I think she’s going to be okay having a daughter when it finally sinks in. Oh yeah, she’s rechristened me. I’m Sarah now.”

“Oh yes, from the Hebrew meaning princess. Quite lovely. Do you, er, do you mind being a princess?”

“Are you kidding? Have you watched any Disney recently? Disney princesses are kickass!”

“I’ve no doubt they are. In which case your, er, changes may well be considered oddly appropriate. Now I do need to know about your parents’ decision regarding…”

“Nothing definitive to report just yet. Mum’s going to talk to Dad, but only after he’s slept off today’s libations. Right now, they’re doing the frosty silence thing, which means there’s a fifty-fifty chance Dad’s going to spend the night on the sofa. They will talk though, which means Mum will bring him round to her way of thinking.”

“Does that mean you’ll be able to continue your training?”

“Again, final decision under review, but now that I’m a girl, what’s the worst you can do to me? No don’t answer that. I just had creepy Jimmy Saville images in my head. I mean, I know you’re not like that, but it would be just the kind of sick, freaky story Dad’s imagination might come up with given half a chance – guy turns young men into hot babes so he can have his wicked way with them, sort of thing.”

“I believe this afternoon demonstrated quite adequately that, were I to try anything, you could quite easily tear my arms from their sockets and beat me to death with the, er, the soggy end. I believe that’s a phrase I’ve heard young people use. It actually originated in a dreadful science fiction series from the late nineteen seventies, did you know that?”

“Not really that interested. What I was trying to say was that, now I’ve been changed into a girl, like all the way, what more can happen to me? And if I keep pestering them about wanting to train for Irish Dancing…”

“They’ll most likely find you a coach from somewhere they’re more inclined to trust. Mitchel – So-sorry, Sarah, it is imperative you continue to train with me.”

“Don’t want to fill up your basement with vampire hulks?”

“Vampire hulks? Oh, I see, like the, er, the Marvel, er yes… They’re called greshnicks, which I believe is Russian for evildoer. I found a reference in an Eastern European bestiary from the Dark Ages. The slayer of the age encountered several in her time and her, er, mentor, er, chronicled her encounters. Were you aware they actually have two brains?” He let out brief fascinated laugh.

“I sort of figured that out, yes, or rather I got lucky. They also heal themselves really quickly.”

“Yes, yes, I see that…”

“What I’m saying is it would have been kind of neat to know all that before I fought it.”

“I’m aware, and now we can do just that, don’t you see? The creatures this slayer fought came from the same place as the one currently linked to the portal in my basement, so all these writings are likely to be relevant to us. Once I’ve had the chance to study this, and It may take me some days – the scribe didn’t have the steadiest hand – I should be able to advise you whenever anything new comes through the portal. At, at least in theory. There are likely to be creatures they didn’t encounter after all.”

“I guess not. Oh well. Any help is better than none.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to come to the shop tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. I’ll see what I can do. I’ll tell them you’ve been looking into why I’ve changed into a girl. You have been looking into that, haven’t you? I mean, you said there had been male slayers in the past, but not so many in recent years. Why do you think the power behind all this wants me as a girl?”

“I really don’t have the foggiest. I shall have to do some research, although I really don’t have much of a clue where to start. The current thinking is that the role is better suited to the female temperament, and after all it’s as simple to endow a young woman with mystical strength and agility as it is a man, so it really does just come down to temperament.”

“But I was a guy. What does that say about my temperament?”

“Well, if you’ll permit the speculation, it probably says that you had more of the temperament of a girl, and if I were to hazard a guess, I’d say the reason you changed is because you wanted to. Do you think it’s likely that you’ll function better as you are rather than as you were when I first spoke to you this morning? As I recall, your demeanour on the day of the trials was, was hardly the most mature.”

“Oh, I can do immature in this body just as easily,” I said and blew a raspberry at him down the phone.

“Yes, well done. Well, I shall continue to look into the matter. I do have a number of tomes chronicling the history of the slayers throughout er, well, er, history. Perhaps something like this has occurred before.”

“I’ll tell my mum and dad that’s what you’re doing, but I’m going to have to wait till the ice thaws a bit.”

“I’m sorry? Ice?”

“Frosty silence thing, remember? Current mood between the ‘rents. They’re not on speaking terms right now, but I’m guessing a night on the couch will put my dad in a more apologetic mood. It’s not that comfortable.

“I’ll call you as soon as I know something, or maybe text you.”

“Yes, er, alright but preferably without the, er, poo.”

“Ooh, you can multitask too. Maybe the magic will give you lady parts as well, then I’ll have a stuffy old maiden aunt who wears tweed skirts and works in a library and coaches me in Irish Dancing in her free time.”

“Yes. The image that conjures is quite enticing.”

“That reminds me, what do I call you?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Your name is Stuart Giles, but do I call you Stuart or Mr Giles, or sir or master or something. I’ve been calling you Mr Tweedy because…”

“Of the tweed suit. Yes, I suppose that has its own twisted logic. Hopefully in no way influenced by the character in that, er, rather intriguing Nick Parks motion picture.”

“You know, just because you read the dictionary from cover to cover doesn’t mean you have to use all the words in it all the time.”

“No, quite right I suppose. Well, I really don’t mind. Stuart will be fine when it’s just the two of us, but perhaps Mr Giles when we have company and wish to convey a more professional relationship.”

“And Mr Dictionary when you end up spouting word salad like now. Or maybe Mr Dic for short.”

“Word salad is a term used to describe a confused or unintelligible mixture of seemingly random words and phrases, and is generally associated with brain damage, I’ll have you know.”

“Best you talk to your doctor about it then, assuming he can understand you. Was that a direct quote from your dictionary?”

“Well, I’m going to hang up now. One of the advantages of a telephone when you’re speaking to someone who’s being tiresome.”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Stuart. Thank you for today.”

“For turning you into a girl?”

“Unexpected major bonus, but no. For introducing me to something amazing. Something I think I’m going to love doing.”

“The dancing or the demon slaying? Because if it’s the latter, I hope you won’t end up regretting those words. Well, goodnight, I suppose.”

“Fair thee well, Stuart. Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.”

The line went dead. Maybe that had been a little too much. Still, Nick. I sent him a text which turned into a conversation. The actual exchange was a little more compressed, but the essence of it went as follows:

“Sorry for bailing on you today dude.”

“Hey, don’t sweat it. You gonna tell me what happened?”

“I don’t really know where to begin. It’s been a bit of a weird day.”

“You gotta give me something, man.”

There was an opening, but this wasn’t the sort of news you sent by text.

“The guy in that weird shop wants to coach me. It could end up being kinda big, and I mean huge.”

“He didn’t put you in a dress again like Miss Ephemeris, ‘cos you were seriously hot. I meant what I said about taking you to the dance.”

“You turning gay on me dude? ‘Cos if you are, I’m going to have to disappoint you man.”

Yeah, but maybe not for the reasons you have in mind.

“Nah, it’s good. I just figure it would be way cool if I took you and everybody was thinking, hey who’s the hot chicklet, and only you and me know that it’s you underneath it all.”

You and I. Fuck Stuart Giles for fixing my grammar. I was going to get a reputation for being the nerdiest chick on campus.

There was a thing. We were both going to be on campus on Monday, and I doubted I’d be able to hide from anyone then. The very least I could do for my best friend was give him a heads up.

“Can we meet tomorrow? There’s something I have to show you.”

“Might be a challenge bro. You know how my fossils get about homework. They’ll be riding my ass until I get all my assignments finished.”

“I’d offer to help, but I don’t know a lot about what you’re studying.”

“Nah it’s good man. I mean building regs are a drag, but I only have to learn them once, right?”

And then again every time they update them. Not that I was going to piss on his bonfire. Didn’t have the equipment to do so safely anymore for one thing, but more about letting him live in denial if he wanted to.

“What do you need to do?”

“Read through them all. Highlight them. Make notes on the important ones. Write a report summarizing them. It’s gonna take me like hours dude.”

“So start early. Get it all done by lunchtime or mid-afternoon, then we can hang for a bit.”

“Okay, so who are you and what have you done with Mitchel? You know I don’t get out of bed much before lunchtime on a Sunday man.”

“Make an exception this once dude. It’s kind of important.”

“So, why don’t you tell me now?”

“It’s the kind of thing that needs to be said face to face, in person.”

“You’re harshing my mellow man.”

“Sorry man. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important, and I want to make sure you know before school on Monday.”

“Shit, now you got me intrigued. Fuck okay, I’ll set the alarm. I’ll let you know when I can make it.”

“You’re the best.”

“Don’t you forget it man.”

I plugged the phone in to charge and put it on my bedside table. A deep melancholy flooded through me. That was likely to be the last testosterone charged exchange we’d ever have, not that I had anything much to contribute, but I could still fake it. After tomorrow, there would be an awkwardness that would drive a wedge into our friendship, and there was nothing I could do about it.

The biggest part of me didn’t really care. I mean we’d had fun, but we’d never exchanged anything on a meaningful level, and for all that our friendship was genuine, I’d always hated that it couldn’t be more intimate. Not in a sexual way of course, but in a sharing of feelings way. I’d most likely make girl friends now, and enjoy the full depth of that particular experience with them, but Nick had been a great friend through a lot of years, for all his puerile sense of humour and lack of depth. This felt like an ending and I was going to miss him.

I stuck my head out of my room. The muffled exchanges downstairs were clipped and lacking in warmth. I couldn’t make out the words, but the tone suggested downstairs was not a place to venture this evening.

I slipped into the bathroom and got ready for bed. Quick shower then pat dry. I tried towelling myself a little more vigorously, but my skin was a lot more sensitive, so I had to be gentler.

Next into my nightdress. I had a nightdress now. It was long and white and floaty and felt wonderful. Makes it easier to brush your teeth when your face is filled with such big smiles. For one thing the teeth are more accessible, for another you realise how much of an asset that smile is going to be to you and how important it is to look after it. I wondered if it might be considered wimpish to have a mouthguard next time I went up against a room full of blood thirsty vampires. Mind you, if I was going to go there, maybe I should invest in a neck guard to stop them biting me while I was about it, and a whole suit of armour to clank around in.

Next came brushing my hair. Always a bit of a drag, at least ever since I’d insisted on growing it long, but now it was thick and lustrous, the brush seemed to snag in it a lot more. Maybe all the jumping about hadn’t helped it much. I did seem to be brushing out a whole lot of desiccated vampire which was seriously ew. It took the longest time, but eventually my pretty face was topped with a cascade of golden wavy hair.

Which left the nightly routine. Mum had promised to take me though each of the minefield of different creams I now needed – like needed – to rub into my face and hands. For now she said the most important was the moisturiser. That was easy enough, though it felt a little odd, leaving my skin with a very slight greasy feel to it.

My underwear went into the laundry basket, but I hadn’t worn the dress that much. After a quick inspection I declared it fit for another outing before its first encounter with the enemy in the biological war against grubbiness. I took the dress back to my room and hung it up. It was still early, so I fired up my laptop and made a start on my homework. An hour later I had the framework for what I was going to write set up and most of the information researched. It would only take me another hour or so in the morning, then I’d have the rest of the day free.

There was a gentle rap on my door.

“Come in,” I called quietly.

Mum appeared with a couple of mugs of steaming hot chocolate.

“Don’t get used to this,” she said handing me one and plonking herself down on the bed. “How’s it going?”

“Good,” I said in the uniquely uninformative mode of response used by teenagers everywhere. Mum gave me a look which made me grin. “I have it about half done. It shouldn’t take more than an hour or two to put flesh to the bones tomorrow morning. How goes it with you and the Dadosaurus?”

“Does that make me the Mumosaurus?”

I gave her my brightest smile and pleaded the fifth. Yeah, I know it’s an Americanism, but like I may have said earlier, American shit makes up more than three quarters of the shit shown on TV these days, so you’re bound to pick up a thing or two.

“He’s being stubborn. He’s decided to sleep downstairs tonight, which means he’s going to be a grouch tomorrow.”

“Too soon to talk about Mr Giles and dance coaching?”

“I’ve been thinking about that. Does it have to be him? I’m pretty sure we could find you someone just as good if we look around.”

Score one to Stuart for predicting this. At least it meant I had a comeback. Of sorts.

“He’s really good though Mum, and I really like him.”

“Plus he brought about this transformation of yours, however unintentionally. That’s not a reason to show him any loyalty.”

“You said yourself he was polite and well spoken. He’s already correcting my grammar.”

“Ooh. So you’re saying I get two for the price of one, eh?”

“I’m pretty sure his price for one – or two – is nothing.”

“So why does he do it if not for money?”

“For the pleasure of seeing someone like me reach her full potential. Honest Mum, he’s a good guy.”

“Alright, I’ll think on it. No promises though.”

Which was Mum speak for, ‘Okay but I don’t want to look like a pushover,’ also with a bit of, ‘How the hell am I going to persuade her father?’

I wanted to give her a hug, but we both had hot drinks in our hands, so I settled for a grateful smile.

“Monday’s going to be interesting,” I ventured.

“You’re telling me. I still haven’t figured out how we’re going to handle that. I mean it’s hardly as if we’re going to be able to pass you off as our son who just had reconstructive surgery. I mean you’re five inches shorter and nearly half the weight you were yesterday.”

“But what else can we do? I mean, if we make something up about doing a cousin exchanging with family in Australia or something, that won’t come anywhere near explaining how I’ve been doing the exact same courses and know the exact same material as Mitchel. Besides,” I put on one of the worst Australian accents possible, “I doun’t want to heve to keep on speaking with an Orstrilian accent all the time?” I know it’s not a question, but have you ever noticed how Australians tend to end a sentence with a rising inflection like they’re always asking one?

Mum didn’t quite laugh, but I did get a smile out of her. “So how do you think we should handle it?”

“I figured when they call Mitch’s name at registration, I’d put my hand up and say something like, ‘Mitch is gone. I’m Sarah Geller,’ and let them make of it what they like.”

“It doesn’t work like that, love. They’ll have a ton of questions.”

“To which the open and honest answer is going to be I really don’t know.”

“I’d rather wait till your father is back on our side. He’s much better at creative solutions than I am.”

“So, pancakes for breakfast?”

“Ooh. You really think like a girl, don’t you? Why did I never notice that before?”

“Probably hidden by the boy skin. I liked that, by the way.”

“Well, if you can find the boy skin and we show it to the authorities and explain that you shed it like a snake, maybe we can convince them not to send us all to the funny farm. Do you remember how to make American pancakes? You know what your dad thinks of skinny ones?”

“Yeah, he says they’re crepe, which was a lousy joke even before he started repeating it.” I ran through the ingredients and recipe, Mum nodding all the way.

“If he can see there are some benefits to having a daughter about the place that might just do it for him. I do actually have one last bottle of Canadian maple syrup left. It’s on the top shelf of the right-hand cupboard, right at the back. You’ll need the steps from the pantry. And don’t forget his coffee.”

I did the best Dad voice I could with my new vocal cords. “I like my coffee like I like my women. Any time of the day and for no apparent reason.”

Mum shook her head with a rueful smile. “Your father is the undisputed expert when it comes to dad jokes, isn’t he, sweetheart?”

“You know, I don’t remember the last time you called me ‘dear’ or ‘sweetheart’ before today.”

Yet again, Mum was unfazed by my abrupt change in direction. Almost as though she expected it.

“The last time I used a term of endearment with my son, he sort of winced and shut down on me. I didn’t understand at the time, took it as an unexplainable male reaction, but I imagine it was sort of rubbing salt into the wound, wasn’t it? It’s not that I loved you less before today, my beautiful, beautiful daughter, it’s just that you weren’t open to me expressing that love.” She looked up at me with tear filled eyes and a delicate smile. “Now that’s changed, I rather feel like I’m going to overdo making up for it for a while. I hope you don’t mind.”

I shook my head gently, feeling the fullness of my tresses tumble back and forth.

“Your hair is so lovely, you know that. In fact, that’s true of all of you. I hope you like boys, because otherwise you’re going to be beating them off with a stick.”

“Mum!” I wasn’t upset though. The grin told us both that.

“You’re not thinking about Nick, are you? Because you could do a lot better.”

“Better than the guy who stood by me through years of bullying at school? You know, I’m not sure I could.”

“Have you ever wondered that perhaps his reasons for befriending you may not be that altruistic? I mean, how many times have you have been in trouble because of something he suggested?”

“He’s not like that, Mum.”

“Oh? I don’t remember hearing about him ending up on stage wearing a dress at these dance trials of Miss Ephemeris’s.”

“That was different, Mum. I was the one making fun of everyone.”

“How hard was Nick laughing?”

“Well... yeah but.”

“Yes but, dear.” Oh great, electrocution lessons now. “And how hard was he laughing at you?”

“No-one was laughing at me at the end, Mum.”

“That’s not the point. Look, I’ve already argued with too many people in this family today.” She stood and held out a hand for my mug, which I was just a little surprised to find I’d emptied. “Just give it some thought, will you?”

“Alright Mum,” I passed over my mug, “and thanks for today, for everything. You’ve been amazing.”

“A little late to the party perhaps, but I am here now, and your father will come round. Don’t forget to brush your teeth again.”

“Oh yeah – yes – right. Protect your assets. Shine up the smile. Cavity prevention and all that.

#

I heard a pained grunting from the living room. I’m not sure if it was the smell of coffee or the sound of butter sizzling in a frying pan that roused him. I took a mug through to him. Strong, white with a spoonful of honey. Incidentally how he actually liked his women, which was just as well because I was here now.

I still had on my floaty white nightdress along with a thin floral gown over the top. I’d toyed with getting dressed first, but this had felt more girly, and it meant I could get to the kitchen before he woke up.

“Morning Daddy,” I said placing the mug in his hands and a kiss on his cheek. “Breakfast will be a couple of minutes.”

“Mitchel, what the hell is this?”

“Sarah, Daddy. Mitchel’s gone. And it’s coffee. How much did you have yesterday?”

“I don’t remember, but my head is telling me too much.”

I scurried back into the kitchen. The butter was still melting so I grabbed a glass and filled it from the kitchen tap, skipping back into lounge to place it on the table beside him.

“Hydrate, Dad. It’ll do more to clear the cobwebs than anything. If the headache’s really bad, there are paracetamol in the first aid draw.”

I hurried back to my cooking, spread the butter evenly, and poured in a generous dollop of batter. A couple of things about the American recipe. Firstly, the batter’s a bit thicker, so it doesn’t give you that French crepe thinness. Secondly, it has baking soda in it, which causes the pancakes to rise a little. I worked at the edges to keep them from sticking and shook the pan slightly to separate the bottom of the pancake from the pan.

“What are you wearing?” Dad asked from the doorway.

“My nightdress. Do you like it?”

“Since I’m paying for it, I imagine I should, but...”

“Actually, Mum did. Do you really not remember what Mum said yesterday?”

“Oh. Yeah. Still that doesn’t explain why my son is wearing...”

“Not son,” I interrupted. The top of the pancake was showing signs of cooking through, so I tossed it, catching it deftly as it came back down. “Daughter, Daddy. I’m pretty sure that came up in the conversation too.”

“Er... I was pretty sure I dreamed that.”

I slid the first of my creations onto a plate and added another knob butter to the pan. The plate went onto the breakfast bar where cutlery, more butter and the all-important bottle of maple syrup sat waiting. I pulled my nightdress tight against the front of my body.

“Look Daddy. Big bulgies up top, no bulgy down below. Not a dream.

“It’s not possible,” he said, adding a generous coating of butter to his breakfast.

I glanced through to the lounge where the glass of water remained untouched. I sighed and went to fetch it, digging out a blister pack with a couple of paracetamol in it.

“Take these and try not to be such a grump,” I said and turned back to my cooking.

“You sound just like your mother,” he said. Maple syrup added, he bit into a forkful of breakfast. “Cook like her too. This is really good.”

“Thanks Dad.”

“When did you learn...?”

“At Secret Girl School, Daddy.”

“What?”

Not him too. Was it me maybe? Did I bring out the whattage in people?

“Whenever you went away and it was just Mum and me, she’d kind of teach me to cook a few things.”

“Did she dress you up like that Giles chap yesterday?”

“Of course not.” The second pancake was ready, and he’d just emptied his plate. I slid it in front of him. “Though I’d probably have appreciated it if she had. She figured I’d need to be able to fend for myself because, you know, no girlfriend or anything, so she let me pick the meal then showed me how to cook it. Breakfast and dinner. Lunch not so much a problem because even I can’t mess up a sandwich.”

“So what’s with this Secret Girl School rubbish?”

“Just me having a bit of a joke, Dad. Mum was as surprised as you about all this.”

“So how...?”

“I don’t know. Do you want another of these?” I pointed at the pan, now halfway through its process of turning goo into yummy goodness. Well, perhaps not that good, but definitely yummy.

He nodded just as Mum appeared, also still in her night clothes. Dad was slowing down, so she could have this one and he the next. I tossed the pancake and poured Mum a coffee. Almost the same as Dad’s but with half the honey.

“Morning everyone. How did you all sleep?”

“Like a feather floating on a cloud,” I said with a dreamy smile.

“Don’t overdo it, sweetie.” She turned to Dad. “How about you, love?”

“Sleeping wasn’t a problem. It was the waking up that was difficult.”

I slipped a plateful of pancake in front of Mum while the next lump of butter melted, then added a short measure of batter to the pan. Dad’s last one was going to have to be undersized if I was going to get my share.

“So, take a tablet or two.”

“You know how I feel about medication.”

Mum snorted. “Paracetamol hardly counts, you stubborn old git.”

What I’d tried to say to him. It didn’t feel like she was stealing my thunder though, more like we were double teaming him, so it felt like we won rather than I lost when Dad finally gave in and swallowed the pills along with the entire contents of the glass of water.

“This is really good,” Mum said as I slid Dad’s third undersized pancake onto his plate.

“Hey, where’s the rest of it?” he asked with mock outrage.

I stuck out my tongue at him and set about cooking my own.

“Did you see that?” he asked Mum. “You’d think she’d have better manners now she’s a girl.”

That brought suddenly tears to my eyes and I ran from the room.

“What did I say?” Dad said.

“Exactly the right thing, sweetheart.”

“Women!”

I didn’t hear anything more as I slammed the door to my room shut and threw myself on the bed.

I had just enough time to soak my pillow before a gentle tap on my door preceded my Mum coming into the room with a tray filled with the breakfast I’d abandoned along with a mug of coffee. Extra milky with no sweetener.

“Congratulations on utterly confusing your father there,” she said. “I don’t think you could have done better if you’d been born a girl.”

I sniffed. “It wouldn’t have been an issue if I’d been born a girl. He really said that didn’t he?”

“He really did. I told you he’d come around. He’s like a super tanker you know. Give him enough time and space and he can change his heading, but you have to be patient.”

“And he’s alright with this?”

“Darling, I’m not sure I’m alright with this, but we’re trying. We can see it matters to you, so it matters to us. Now eat your breakfast and get dressed. Your father’s decided he wants to go to church.”

“Is that wise? I mean I’m going to turn quite a few heads as it is, and after what people saw yesterday...”

“Bull by the horns, love. You know what your father’s like.”

It would mean other people from college would see me before I had a chance to meet up with Nick. Which would mean it’d be all over social media before I had a chance to tell him.

I finished my pancake. A little thin on maple syrup, but that was my life now. If I wanted more, I’d need to accept less – more thickness of syrup, less pancake that is. I didn’t need a full size one anyway. I was full before I finished and left about a quarter of it untouched.

The coffee was great though.

I grabbed my phone – pink case. Yay! – and texted Nick.

“Twitter storm on the horizon, dude. I really wanted to meet up and tell you about it all first. Sorry.”

He’d most likely still be in bed, so I headed for the bathroom. I still didn’t have much experience in all the things expected of me as a girl, so I showered – hair in a shower cap to keep it dry – deodorised and slipped into fresh underwear before picking out a modest sundress with yellow flowers all over it. I knocked on Mum and Dad’s bedroom door, only entering when invited. I mean who wants to risk seeing a ‘rent in the nearly buff?

Dad was in shirt and trousers and was busily tying a tie. Mum was fiddling earrings into place, but otherwise she looked amazing.

“I know I’m missing something, Mum, but I can’t figure out what. Sorry about the meltdown earlier, Dad.”

“It’s alright sweetheart. Your mother explained it and I suppose it makes sense in a sort of women’s logic kind of way.”

Which meant it makes no sense, but I’m going with the flow.

Mum led me back into my room and sat me down in front of my dressing table mirror. She brushed through my hair a few times – I mean I’d already done that, but apparently not quite well enough – then rummaged through a draw full of random things she’d bought me the other day before pulling out a white hairband. With that in place, she pulled out a couple of gold bangles and added them to my right wrist.

“I thought we weren’t supposed to do the bling thing for church.”

“Not supposed to, but how many women at church have you seen totally unadorned?”

There were a few, but they were the extremists. She turned me to face her and spent a few seconds with an eyeliner pencil. Then she dug out a fairly neutral lip gloss and applied it to my lips. She pressed her lips together so I copied her. She turned me back towards the mirror. The effect was subtle, but it really brought out the girl in me. She handed me the lip gloss.

“That goes in your handbag along with your phone as long as it stays on silent and I don’t see it until after the service. White sandals I think and we’ll see you downstairs in a couple of minutes.”

It didn’t take a couple of minutes to put the sandals on. I had time to check my phone where I found a text from Nick.

“What the actual fuck man?”

“’Rents taking me to church. Expecting a bit of a reaction.”

“Sarah, come on,” Dad called.

I sent the text, checked the phone was on silent before adding it to my bag.

“Sorry Dad,” I apologised as I jogged down the stairs. Bra or not, my assets jiggled as I came.

It came as no surprise to find all the neighbours out in their gardens, prairie dogging us as we stepped out into the open air. Dad waved at the couple across the street who promptly went back to their pruning and weeding. Mum called out a greeting to the neighbours on either side of us, who responded with nervous greetings in return. Dad held the rear door open for me so I could sit and swivel, retaining what modesty I could in a dress that barely reached the top of my knees. I felt hugely self-conscious, which was nuts because I was a pretty girl wearing a pretty dress, and that was all perfectly natural, except that when I’d woken up the previous day, I’d been something entirely else.

The drive to church wasn’t long enough for my nerves to really take hold. We met in an old Anglican church building, but it was what Nick referred to as one of those happy clappy places. This meant the whole thing was a little less structured than you might expect. Dad went off to have a quiet word with the pastor while I kind of tried to hide behind Mum. There were quite a few kids my age here, including several who went to the same college as me. I was very much the focus of interest – I mean sleepy church in a sleepy village. A new arrival had to be the highlight of the year – but they couldn’t make me out. Had I really changed that much?

There wasn’t time to resolve matters before the band striking up gave everyone the signal to take their seats. The original pews had long since been stripped out and the floor repaired. The building served as the village hall most of the week, which meant stackable plastic chairs which weren’t that uncomfortable.

We entered into a round of songs that were kind of repetitive. I joined in, enjoying the considerably improved musical quality of my new voice, as well as the opportunity to join in with the women’s harmonies without earning myself any odd looks.

A couple of songs on we paused for notices. The dull but essential admin side of any church service. Better to get it out of the way early. They dragged on for a mind numbing five minutes, after which the pastor stepped up to the microphone.

“Er, Richard Geller has asked to share a few words before we get too far into this. Richard.”

The pastor waved at my dad who stood and made his way to the front. He was nervous as hell, but he covered it well. I doubt anyone but Mum and now me would have picked up on it.

He coughed and began, looking up at the congregation with a hint of challenge in his eyes.

“You may have seen, or maybe heard from someone who saw, that I was in something of a state yesterday afternoon.”

A murmur chased about the room. Dad hadn’t said anything particularly incriminating, but general reaction suggested there weren’t many who didn’t know what he was talking about. He waited for the noise to subside before continuing.

“I’m ashamed I let things slip that far yesterday, but we all of us fall from grace on occasions, and I had my reasons. Not great ones I’ll admit. My wife, Christine, coped with it all without any of the same loss of control I showed. You see, we both had to come to terms with a rather shocking piece of news yesterday.

“You’ll notice our son, Mitchel, isn’t with us today. That’s nothing unusual as he hasn’t come to church for some time now. The reason he’s not with us today though, is because...”

Oh shit! He was going to tell them all.

“Sarah, would you please join me up here?”

Oh double shit!! He was going to make me tell them.

I made my way daintily up to the stage.

Away from the microphone he spoke to me. “I’m sorry, I should have spoken to you about this beforehand. The thing is, you’re here to stay and we can’t hide you for long, so how do you want to handle this?”

By way of answer, I stepped up to the microphone and twisted it out of its holder.

“Hi,” I said, “I’m Sarah. I used to be Mitchel.” Bull by the horns eh Mum? I looked into her eyes as the room erupted around us. She smiled back at me, her eyes shining with pride.

There wasn’t a whole lot anyone could do to restore order after that. The pastor waved for those on the drinks rota to step in and get things ready as soon as they could, then he invited Mum, Dad and me to join him in the back room where he had a small office.

“Alright, anyone care to tell me what this is all about?”

Dad looked at me to ask if I wanted to take the lead. I shrugged.

“I ended up trying out for the Irish Dancing group at school last week.” No need to say how that had happened. “I didn’t get shortlisted, but there was a guy in the stalls watching. When my friend Nick and I went down to the arcade yesterday morning, the guy who runs that weird black shop came out and told me I had some pretty amazing talent and would I like to trial with him with a view to his maybe coaching me. I kind of said yes and by the time I’d finished dancing for him, I was halfway changed into this.”

“That brings up so many questions. Why would you think he was interested in you when the school turned you down?”

“Miss Ephemeris, the dance teacher at college said he was a kind of talent scout for this sort of thing and would most likely be contacting me. She already told me I wouldn’t be picked because they were looking for an all-girl squad.”

“You seem qualify now.”

“I didn’t then, which was why I wasn’t chosen.”

“Okay, question two. What do you mean halfway changed?”

“Erm, I had smaller breasts with more sort of masculine nipples, and I still had my, you know, my wedding tackle down below. I don’t think I was quite so short as I am now, and I hadn’t filled out quite as much. I could still just about get my boxers and jeans on then, whereas now, well, my hips are too wide.”

“And how did this change happen?”

“I don’t know. A bit must have been when I put the shoes on because there was no way my feet should have fitted. Also, maybe when I put the dress on, because it felt tight to start with, then it just sort of eased into place. Or maybe I eased into it.”

“I’m sorry, dress?”

“Yeah. I kind of liked it more than the men’s costumes.”

“So, you put on a dress and magically half changed into a girl. First question. Why would you put on a dress. Second question, just what!!?”

I glanced at Dad. Okay, time for complete honesty. Bull, horns, you know?

“Well actually, the first time there weren’t any men’s options. If there had been, I’d still have chosen to put on the dress though, and I’m pretty sure the men’s things would have hung loose on me.” Dad glanced across but chose not to intervene. “Anyway, the reason I put on the dress was maybe partly because there weren’t any other choices, but mainly because I wanted to.”

“You know the Bible is really clear on this?”

“Deuteronomy twenty-two, five. A woman mustn’t wear men’s clothing and a man mustn’t wear women’s clothing. Yeah, you preached on that a couple of years ago. About the same time I stopped coming.”

“The passage is very clear.”

“Things like that tend to be when they’re translated with a lot of cultural baggage.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I did some research of my own afterwards and the Hebrew has quite a different translation. It talks about a woman not being permitted to touch a warrior’s gear or a man not putting on women’s underwear, by which I’m not talking bra and panties. This was a kind of robe both men and women wore under all their other clothing. There was nothing different between what men and women wore, so why the hype?

“We know Moses had a hang-up about mixing blood, which is why women were considered unclean when they were menstruating. It might also be what the anti-gay Leviticus passage is about. It doesn’t say don’t have sex with a man as you would with a woman. Instead, it says you shouldn’t lie with a man in a woman’s bed. Less convincing there, but still a lot of evidence to suggest this whole thing is not about homosexuality or trans behaviour.”

The pastor looked at me as though I’d grown two heads. Two boobs yes, but to his credit his eyes stayed north of the scenery.

“Translations like the New International Version and the New American Standard Bible came out in the nineteen seventies, when translators were coming out of conservative bible schools in a Christian culture that had already made its mind up about the immorality of the LGBTQ movement, years before they were even a thing. You’re not going to convince me they were uninfluenced by their culture.”

“I guess I’m not. Alright. Let’s put a pin in that for now. How do you think you got changed?”

“I don’t know. Whether it was the clothing or the dance, neither explanation makes much sense. Unless you believe in magic or miracles.”

“Miracles?”

“More or less the same thing, don’t you think? Other than who’s responsible.”

“You think God did this to you?”

“I’d like to believe it’s something he would do. I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to believe he did, but then maybe that has more to do with the kind of God you’ve been telling me he is.”

“You don’t like me talking about a God of love?”

“Not when an aspect of that ‘love’,” sorry, finger quotes, “includes hating people who are different and can’t help it.”

“Last question. Why did you go back?”

Dad coughed. He looked at me and I shrugged. I’d probably done enough to condemn me to this guy’s hell, which from my perspective had the benefit that at least he wouldn’t be there.

“That was more my fault than Sarah’s.”

“You seem comfortable using that name.”

“I wasn’t yesterday, I can tell you that for nothing. I figured if Mitchel prancing about in a dress had anything at all to do with his change in appearance, then maybe if he put on a man’s costume and did the same thing, he might shift back.”

“What happened?”

Dad told him, making him blush.

“I told him to go cover up, which he took as permission to put on a dress. I did watch five minutes of him dancing, which I have to say was West End quality. Whatever else comes from this, my child has astounding skills in this kind of dancing.

“We left him to cool down, and Mr Giles, the shop owner, offered me a drink, then another, then another. It was exceptionally good single malt, so I found it impossible to say no.

“Part way through Mitchell’s cool down – which took ages, by the way – there was a loud crash and Mr Giles ran off to investigate. When he came back, he assured me it was nothing. Then Mitchel arrived, still wearing a dress and explaining how he couldn’t fit into his clothes. By then I was very much the worse for wear, so she called her mother who came to pick us and the car up.

“I fell asleep in my armchair. When I woke up, it was to find Christine and the newly rechristened Sarah arriving home with most of the inventory of every woman’s outlet within twenty miles of here.

“Christine tried to convince me that the changes to our son were complete, but I tend to get bull headed when I’ve had too much to drink, so I slept on the couch and woke up to find my daughter making breakfast.

“I don’t know what happened, pastor, or who’s responsible. I only known that it has happened. It came as a shock, but I’ve since made it through my state of denial. I don’t see a way of changing her back, and with her as happy as I saw her this morning, I don’t think I’d try to do so if I could.”

“I see.” He gave us all a look over. “You’re going to have to give me a chance to think this through.”

“Of course.”

“You do look a lot like Mitchel, you know, and you certainly argue like him.”

“Thank you. I think.”

“I still have a hard time imagining that you were Mitchel though.”

“I’m taking her to see a gynaecologist this week,” Mum said providing me with a piece of news I’d not yet heard. “We’ll probably be able to tell you more afterwards.”

Like what Mum? “Oh yes, I can see where his penis used to be?” Not likely to happen. Still, I guess this was one of those things on the cons side of girlhood. Still, no regrets yet.

“Go have yourselves a coffee and talk to your friends. I’m sure they’re all eager to talk to you.”

Not in my top ten list of things to do with my Sunday, but there was the bull, still with its horns.

We left him to his deliberations and headed out into a crowded hall that suddenly fell silent.

“Safety in numbers or divide and conquer?” Dad asked.

“I doubt you’d know how to talk to my friends, Dad, or Mum’s for that matter.”

“Either of you just holler if this gets too much.”

We both nodded and made our way towards the kitchen hatch. The crowd did a Red Sea impression as we approached, which had us at the hatch in no time. Teas all round because the coffee here was pretty rank. Only boring biscuits left but I needed a bit of a sugar kick, so I took from what was available.

My age group separated out loosely into three groups. His, hers and theirs. The couples stood with their backs to the room excluding everyone who didn’t belong. Unspoken rule, you could join, but only if you brought a plus one. No third wheels here, thank you.

A quick glance at the guys’ group confirmed that they were, to a man, giving me fuck the hell off vibes. How dare I, as an ex dude, turn up looking so hot? I could sort of imagine the burning shame they were all feeling, their heads saying to them that I used to be a guy, the contents of their trousers replying that they really didn’t care.

That left me with the girls. Wary looks all round, but at least they weren’t turning me away.

“Hi,” I said, still keeping my distance. “If this is too weird, I can go somewhere else.”

“Yeah, like where though? You’re cool with us. Come say hi.”

So I slid into their little clique and just because I was nervous, I said, “Hi,” again.

“So, like, were you really Mitchel Geller? Because if you were, like, oh, em, gee!”

“Um yes, I, er, I was.”

“So, like, who’s your surgeon, and can I have his number?” Whoever it was gave me an appreciative look over, concentrating on my rear lower aspect.

“Erm, no surgeon. Just, well, like I said, I really don’t know.”

“Seriously? You can’t expect us to believe that.”

“Well, you remember me from when I was here a while ago, yeah?”

“Kind of, yeah.”

That was the clique thing working. The guys stuck with the guys and the girls with the girls. The only exception was when two of them found a way of pairing up, at which point they joined the couples group. I honestly had no idea of any of these girls’ names. The only one’s I might have known were the two who went to college with me. That was Linda, who was currently part of the couples, and Kirsty, who apparently wasn’t here today.

“Yeah,” I said, “well I remember being taller than most of you and now I think I’m the smallest one here.”

“Yeah, but like, I heard how doctors can make you taller or shorter if you want. They cut through your arm and leg bones and either add extra bone or take it out.”

That was stupid, but I wasn’t going to make friends by pointing it out.

“Okay, so look at my hands and feet. They’re kind of in proportion to the rest of me, aren’t they? More than half the bones in the human body are in the hands and feet. Can you imagine how much work would be involved in making them smaller? I mean, when I was Mitchel, I was a size eight and half. Now I’m more like a size five.”

“Okay smarty-farty. You tell us what happened. How come you went from being kind of a forgettable guy to an uber-hottie?”

Smart-farty was a new one to me. Same for the rest of the girls if the degree of giggleage was anything to go by.

“I really wish I could say. I went to see the guy in that weird shop in the arcade, you know the black one – the Magic Box – and by the time I’d left…” I struck a pose. One leg bent forward, hands out to either side, palms up.

“You’re trying to say he magicked you to be like this?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Magic is like evil, you know. ‘A man or a woman who is a medium or a spiritualist among you should be put to death.’”

That was the same part of the Bible that came up with those verses I’d argued against with the pastor. I didn’t really trust it, but yet again, that sort of attitude wasn’t going to help me make friends and influence people.

“I don’t know it was magic. Besides, it can’t be all bad. I mean look at the way I turned out.”

“Doesn’t it bother you? I mean you were a guy.”

“Only on the outside.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Would you want to be a guy?” I looked over at the boys, all of whom were looking at me with a confused mixture of anger, lust and shame.

“Well no, but…”

“Neither do I. I mean I’m so much better off like this.”

“True, I guess, but…”

“There are no buts. I mean I’m blonde now too, and we all know blondes have more fun.”

“So, what would you say to, like, Josh if he came over an asked you out right now?”

“Do you think he has the guts?”

“Oh yes.” The tittering in the group increased to a level that indicated the presence of a bloke, and Josh was the least objectionable of the available group. He’d been the unspoken leader in the time when my presence had been tolerated. He’d not shown me any degree of kindness and I didn’t feel I owed him a lot, so when he cleared his throat, I didn’t even bother turning round.

“Er,” he said. “Sarah, isn’t it?”

I glanced at him over my shoulder. “You know I used to be a dude, right?” I asked.

His face went bright red and the tittering in our vicinity increased.

“The way you and your cronies were looking at me just now suggests you do, and given all that, what makes you think I’d be even the slightest bit interested?”

He retreated with his tail between his legs and his face burning. The tittering had stopped and instead my circle of new… friends? acquaintances? stared at me, jaws hanging open.

“You were, like, wow! That was, like, awesome!!”

“More like awful,” I responded. I’d been on the receiving end of a few put downs, back when I’d still been trying to be a bloke, and I knew full well what it felt like. I didn’t feel that sorry for Josh, because he was a bit of a dick, but even he hadn’t quite deserved being trodden on quite so completely.

Mum and Dad rescued me from any more awkwardness. I’m not sure what kind of reception they’d received from their friends, though from the unshed tears in Mum’s eyes and the unspoken anger in Dad’s, I assumed not well. It was time to go home, Dad told me, and I wasn’t sorry to be going.

“Do you want to, like, hang out later?”

This was apparently the queen bee of the girl’s brigade. She’d been the most vocal of the group, but she still hadn’t bothered to introduce herself or any of her friends. Still, she hadn’t earned an unkind response.

I shrugged apologetically. “I have a bunch of homework to finish, then I have quite a few other people to talk to about, you know, this.”

She also shrugged. Water of a duck’s arse by the looks of it. It seemed she’d only asked out of politeness, but then again, she had asked.

Back in the car, Dad finally let the steam out. “Bunch of sanctimonious, holier-than-thou morons,” he said as he started the engine. “They accused your mother and me of allowing this to happen to you.”

“And that’s what’s bad about it, is it?” I asked reproachfully. “That you allowed it to happen rather than it happened, or that I rather like that it happened?”

“No Sarah. I’m sorry, that came out wrong. It’s just what they said, but you’re right. There was no question of whether or not it was right but rather how we’d allowed something to go so wrong. If you want to be pissed off, please be pissed off with them rather than your mother and me.”

“Sorry Dad. I guess we’re all a little fragile right now.”

“That’s not a bad way to put it. Did you mean what you said about your homework? I thought you sorted that last night.”

“Foundations laid. I just need to build the walls. I was hoping I could go out once I’ve finished.”

“Out where?”

“Well, for one thing, I need to meet up with Nick ahead of going to school on Monday…”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“He’s my best friend, Dad. I get that you and Mum don’t like him much, but it would be a real dick move…”

“Sarah!” Mum snapped.

“What?”

“Language sweetheart.”

“Since when did you worry about me using words like that?”

“Since you became my daughter, dear. I know it seems a bit hypocritical, but it’s society has the double standard.”

“Okay, sorry.” I wasn’t sure I agreed, but that wasn’t the issue right now. “It still wouldn’t be kind to turn up at college tomorrow looking like this without giving him something of a heads up.”

“Alright,” Dad said. “When were you thinking about seeing him.”

“I told him I’d text him to arrange things when I knew what was happening.” I dug my phone out of handbag while I said it. It felt weird carrying a bag about with me all the time, but yet again, good weird.

“Fine,” Mum said. “You can help me with the lunch first, then finish your homework, then you can go see your friend.”

“Is that another one of society’s double standards?”

“I beg your pardon?”

I almost zoned out of the conversation, having just seen Nick’s most recent text.

“Er, you never wanted me to help with the lunch before.”

“Actually, I’d always appreciate a little help with the housework, I just never asked before. And no, it’s not one of society’s double standards. It’s one of mine.” Her tone sounded like she was expecting more of a confrontation, but…

“Oh, okay then.”

“DUDE! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, MAN?” The accompanying photograph, taken from where the couple’s clique had been standing, showed me nervously approaching the other girls. The caption read ‘Mitchel Geller’s new look’. For all my new curves and loss in altitude, my face still looked enough like the old me, albeit now very much a girl, to introduce all the freak out factor.

I started typing out an overdue response.

“Will you put that thing away so we can finish out conversation?” Mum snapped again. She wasn’t usually like this, but I suspected she had to be upset after her confrontations at church.

“I thought we had finished, Mum. I said okay, I’ll help with lunch before doing my stuff. This is Nick. One of my college friends sent him a photograph from church.”

I returned to more urgent matters. Again, this is the longhand version for those of you who might not speak Txt.

“I tried to warn you earlier, Nick. I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you before someone else did, but…”

“WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED, DUDE? I MEAN YOU’RE NOT EVEN A DUDE ANYMORE. OR ARE YOU?”

“Will you stop shouting at me.”

“BUT DUDE! I MEAN… FUCK, MAN!!”

“Tell me about it. It’s a lot weirder for me. Hey, meet me later and I’ll explain everything, or at least as much as I can.”

“Just tell me when, Dude. Dudette?”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” The expletive didn’t make it into the message I sent – conscious of Mum’s earlier comment I supposed, but I did add a string of angry face emojis at the end. “Gotta help Mum with a few things around the house first, then I’ll text.”

“DUDE!!!!!”

“Whatever. Later.”

“Are you quite done?” Mum had been watching my frantic thumb tapping. Amazingly I’d not made a single typo in all my texting. Slimmer fingers I guessed, and/or maybe better coordination.

“Yes Mum, sorry. It was kind of urgent though.” I dropped my phone back in my bag.

Did I mention it was pink now? Smiley face.

“Yes. Well. Alright then.”

“I was also wondering if I could meet up with Mr Giles afterwards.”

Dad nearly swerved into a parked car.

“Absolutely not!” he yelled, making both Mum and me wince.

“Dad, he’s not the bad guy here, and he’s still our best bet at figuring out what actually happened.”

“We don’t know that,” Dad said, both his voice and his driving under slightly better control. “Neither of those things. We don’t know either of those things.” Apparently not in such great control over his word salad.

Was that a better use of the term Mr Giles?

“I don’t want you seeing him until we know a little more,” Dad said. “I really don’t know if he has your best interests at heart.”

“So how are you going to find out more?” I asked. “Do you plan to attack him again like on our last visit, then drink the rest of that bottle of whiskey?”

“Now listen here young lady…”

“Dad, it’s not as if he can do anything more to mess me up, is it? I can’t become any more of a girl than I am right now.”

“That remains to be seen after you’ve seen the gynaecologist,” Mum said.

“Alright then, supposing it turns out I’m not all the way changed, how the hell – sorry Mum – do you suggest we deal with that particular shit show? – sorry again Mum. Actually, no I’m not.”

That shut them both up. Well, maybe Dad was focussing more on reversing the car onto our drive, since we’d just arrive home.

“Mum, we don’t know how this is happening to me, except it’s fairly certain that Mr Giles and his shop are responsible to some degree. I think it’s fair to say no-one in the medical profession will have much of a clue what to do with me, and if there’s even a chance that I’m still not changed all the way, I don’t want to end up as some freak in a lab somewhere being poked and prodded by a bunch of clueless white coats. Besides, even if they do figure out what’s happening to me, I don’t want to change back, even if it does mean I end up having to help Mum more.” That last was a joke and brought a slight twitch to Mum’s lips.

“Would you at least hold off for now?” Mum asked. “Give your father and me a chance to think on it for a day or two.”

“As long as I get to go and see him at least once more before your lady doctor shines a light up my you know where.”

Helping Mum wasn’t as dire as it sounded. She took charge, which was only right since she knew a lot more about the running of her kitchen than me, and preparation for lunch took less than half the time it usually did. The happy bonus being that Mum calmed down rather than becoming her usual frazzled self. With twice as many hands available, it was easier to wash up as we went, so there wasn’t much in the way of dirties in the sink by the time we were ready to serve up.

Which was probably just as well since Dad usually coerced me into helping him with the washing up afterwards. It looked a little like he was going to be on his own today, so better that he didn’t have as much to do.

Rather unusually, we chatted like a family over lunch. I mean, given the oddness of the previous day and our rather trying Sunday morning, it felt good to have a touch of normalcy.

It wasn’t entirely normal. The plateful Mum offered me was once again half the size I’d have enjoyed as Mitchel, and once again I wasn’t about to argue with her. Once again, I ate more slowly with smaller mouthfuls and more consideration to the taste and texture of each one, which meant Dad won the race for once. Not difficult since he was the only one trying to do so. For my part, the experience was a lot more pleasurable, and I found myself comfortably full before I’d finished everything. I placed my knife and fork side by side on my plate with my last roast potato untouched.

It didn’t last long with Dad spearing it and popping it whole into his mouth while Mum gathered the plates. She gave him a reproachful look which prompted a shrug and a wry grin. “There have to be some benefits to this situation,” he said.

Like more apple pie left over. Again, my portion was a lot smaller than usual, and again, it was just enough to satisfy.

Mum and I both helped Dad with the washing up, which he appreciated all over again.

Finishing my homework didn’t take as long as I’d feared. Mind you, once you have the framework in place, the rest is easy, and actually quite enjoyable. I was done by two thirty and texted Nick to say I was free.

While I was waiting for him to reply, I called through to Stuart.

“My parents have asked me not to come and see you for a day or two,” I said by way of opening.

“I see,” he said by way of response. “That’s, er, dis, er, distressing.”

“Tell me about it. I mean what if I’m still not altogether a girl? I don’t want to be stuck mid change.”

“I can see why you wouldn’t particularly want that, but it wasn’t my first concern. The, er, the portal in my basement has been, er, considerably more active today. So far it’s been, er, shall we say self-regulating…”

“You mean they’re fighting each other?”

“Er, yes, but if we have another creature like that greshnick come through, I’m not sure my defences will be able to withstand a concerted attack from, from something of that nature.”

“And if it gets out, that would be bad.”

“You appear to have mastered the discipline of the understatement.”

“Yes would have been enough. What can we do?”

“I’ve been thinking on that, because, of course, a greshnick could easily enough come through when you’re not about to take care of it.”

“So, you’re saying it doesn’t really matter that much if I come by.”

“No, no, it would. Whenever you go into the basement, you, er, you sort of draw anything close to the portal to you – your scent, you know – so if you were to spend regular time in there, the number of creatures near to the portal would be kept to a minimum.”

“But there’s always a chance of a particular nasty coming through anytime?”

“Er, yes.”

“See that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Er, what?”

“Never mind. So you said you’d been thinking about it.”

“Yes. I, er, I could untether the portal.”

“Okay. Please explain for those who are not so well versed in mystical geekology.”

“I mentioned the convergence of ley lines in the shops basement.”

“You did.”

“And how when there is too great a convergence of them, they weaken the fabric of spacetime?”

“Resulting in portals, yes.”

“Well, once a portal has been formed, there’s not much can be done to repair the damage to reality that formed it, but it is possible to, er, to unravel the ley lines temporarily. It’s quite a delicate and dangerous piece of magic which could make the portal larger if it goes wrong, but if it works, the portal would no longer be bound to the shop basement.”

“Wouldn’t that mean the monsters would then start appearing somewhere else?”

“It’s likely the portal would be drawn to nearby places of mystical energy, that is to say ancient places of worship, of which we have several relatively nearby, and places associated with, er, death.”

“Graveyards? We have quite a few of those too.”

“Yes. Hospitals as well. For all that they’re places of healing, they experience a great many more deaths on a daily basis than most places.”

“So, what’s the advantage of, er, of untethering the portal?” I wasn’t trying to mimic his stutter, honest.

“At present it appears to be fixed on the other side as well, which means all the monsters are gravitating towards it. They would be far less likely to find it if it were adrift.”

“But they could find it?”

“Yes, but I could keep track of it, and you would be able to patrol the areas it’s drawn to without necessarily having to disobey your parents in regard to coming to see me. The, er, vampires would be fewer and less dangerous, at least until the portal finds another convergence.”

“And when that happens?”

“Then we’re back to the same situation we have at present, except the portal will be somewhere else, possibly in a location we cannot control, and with fewer options when it comes to containment.”

“What options.”

“At present my basement provides a physical barrier in addition to the magical wards I have in place. Neither are infallible, but magical wards alone won’t be as effective. I suppose I could cast a spell across the area which will ward any vampire from entering a building.”

“Yeah, why don’t you do that?”

“It won’t be particularly effective with public buildings. The ward links to the building proprietor meaning creatures from the vampire dimensions would be repelled until the building owner invited them in.”

“Kind of like the traditional thing about vampires not being able to come into a home uninvited?”

“Yes, this spell happens to be the origin of that, er, tradition. Public buildings tend to have a blanket invitation to everyone to come in, so they wouldn’t provide any protection.

“The alternative, of course, is that you disregard your parents and come to see me anyway.”

“Yeah, I don’t see that happening. I have a feeling they’ll be keeping a closer eye on my now that I have all girly bits. You know, ‘where do you think you’re going, young lady?’ sort of thing.”

“You could, er, you could lie.”

“Definitely an option, but I’ll run out lies soon enough, and I only need to be caught once.”

“I suppose.”

“I’m eighteen in a month or so, then they won’t have a say in what I do, other than maybe to threaten to chuck me out if I don’t follow the house rules.”

“That wouldn’t be ideal. Alright, so I’ll see what I can do to about protecting the neighbourhood and then I’ll untether the portal, after which it’ll be down to you. You’ll have to adapt your fighting style of course.”

“Why of course?”

“If the portal shifts to a graveyard, you’ll be fighting on grass a lot of the time, so no options to use the tap rhythms to confuse them, and, and the spike heels on the shoes will, er, will have a tendency to sink into the soft ground, so you’ll have to balance on the balls of your feet.”

“Right. I’m guessing there will also be an issue with my wearing those shoes in public. Those spikes aren’t exactly subtle.”

“Yes, well, er, when the shoes come to me, the spikes are hidden in, er, in a sort of sheath that makes the heels seem a little less, er, lethal. I suppose you could walk around wearing them like that and I suppose I could devise a, er, a sort of quick release mechanism.”

“That would be useful. I guess I’m going to have to get used to short skirts then, aren’t I?”

“Does that bother you?”

“With legs like these? Hardly. When can you get the modified shoes to me?”

“Well, I think I can come up with a working modification for the heel sheath’s sometime today. If you happen to go out for a walk later this evening and happen to walk past your local graveyard, it’ll hardly be your fault if I happen to be walking in the same vicinity at the same time, will it?”

“Are there likely to be vampires there?”

“Not so soon, no. I won’t be able to complete the untethering until later tonight at the earliest, but it won’t do any harm to set a precedent for evening walks, would it?”

“I suppose not. I’ll call you when I’m heading out this evening.”

“Good. I’ll drive to meet you. Do you know what a Citroen DS looks like?”

“I’m guessing it has four wheels and an engine?”

“Yes, but… It’s a vintage car, Sarah. Google it. 1963 Citroen DS. Mine’s a sort of pale green colour.”

“Alright. I suppose it’s easier than getting you to wear a chrysanthemum in your hair.”

“Yes, indeed. Alright, I’ll see you later.”

I hung up and checked my messages. Nick had replied suggesting we meet in the park at three, which was just ten minutes away. I’ll say this for girl shoes, they’re a lot quicker to put on. I was out the door with my handbag over my shoulder less than thirty seconds later.

“Going to meet Nick,” I called as the door swung closed behind me.

I’ll say this for girl shoes, it’s a lot harder to run in them. I mean, sure, I had better coordination now, but I needed every bit of it to keep from twisting an ankle and, despite my short legs, I made it to the park entrance just a minute late.

Nick was waiting with impatiently tapping feet. I slowed as I saw him and took a few deep breaths to calm my fluttering heart. I mean it wasn’t as if I fancied him or anything, but he’d been my friend for a lot of years, and I was worried how this was going to change things.

He caught sight of me. “What happened? Couldn’t find shoes to match your handbag or something?”

Yeah, that’s the sort of thing I was afraid of. He had no idea how to be around women, or maybe it was me who didn’t know how to be around him. No reply I could think of would make things better.

“Something like that,” I said rather lamely. “Anyway, you said three. It’s hardly as if you’re the best timekeeper in the world.”

I couldn’t help it. It was kind of a Mitch thing to say and would result in us both laughing over it.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he snapped at me.

“Nothing, only weren’t you half an hour late once because you overslept?”

“That was one time. Why do you always fucking bring that up?”

Because we both found it kind of funny the last few times it came up. Because it was better than mentioning the five minutes late you’d been last time, or the ten minutes late you’d been the two times before that, or the time last week we’d missed that film because you’d been late again. Because going back to that one time was better than nagging him about all the other times. It was just Nick, and I’d accepted that about him, but I wasn’t going to take shit from him for being just two minutes late on the one time he got here early.

“Forget it, bro.” I hoped he would.

“So what do I call you now? I mean bro doesn’t fit, you don’t like dudette.”

“Would you if our positions were reversed?”

“Names would be the last thing I’d be worried about if our positions were reversed.”

“Same here. Sarah is fine, and I really don’t mind dude and bro. Sis if you have to.”

“Whatever. How the fuck did this happen? I mean I saw you yesterday morning outside that weird shop, and fuck, none of this shit.”

“And then I went in, and when I came out, all of this shit.”

“You’re saying this is some kind of weird voodoo curse or something?”

“I think voodoo has more to do with zombies, and I don’t really have a hankering for brains – which is probably as well given I probably couldn’t find yours.”

“Hey, not cool man. Woman.”

It would have been if I’d been ordinary old Mitch.”

“Yeah, but you’re not.”

“And it bothers you that much.”

“You’re saying it doesn’t bother you?”

“No. I actually kind of like it.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Hey, at least I can be your date to the summer fling.”

“Fuck no. It would have been funny if you were a dude and nobody else knew, but I’m not going with the chick everybody knew used to be a dude.”

Were Mum and Dad right about this guy?

“I thought we were friends.”

“Yeah we were, but this kind of makes it harder.”

“Why? I mean what’s changed, apart from my height, shape and gender?”

“Fuck!”

“I don’t think our relationship’s reached that level of intimacy, dude.”

“Fuck shit!”

“Definitely not reached that level.”

“Fucking stop it, will you?”

“Okay, but will you stop it too? You’re acting weird as hell. Sure, things are going to change between us, but for now I’m still the same person underneath all this. I mean, when we were texting yesterday evening, you didn’t figure anything was different, did you?”

“You mean you were...?”

“Short skirt and tights, lying on my bed trying to decide how to make my room look prettier.”

“Not the image I had, dude.”

“No, the reason being that I was the same person underneath, and I still am, so why the fuck do you have to be so weird about it?”

“Give me a break, dude. This is quite a shock.”

“Tell me about it. You’re just looking at the outside. Me, I’m dealing with it from the inside. The difference being that I’m dealing with it and you’re not.

“Nick, I didn’t ask for this, and I tried to deal with it as fairly as possible.”

“By getting one of your new girl friends to text me a picture of the new you.”

“No, by trying to arrange to meet up with you yesterday so you could see for yourself. By sending you a warning when my ’rents ended up dragging me along to church this morning. I didn’t ask Linda to send you the picture. I didn’t even fucking speak to her.

“Lastly by coming out to meet you now so this isn’t so freaky tomorrow at college, and to figure out how you want to handle it. If you need space, then we keep to ourselves tomorrow.”

“That’s hardly fair on you. I’m guessing you’ll be dealing with a whole lot of flack tomorrow, and you shouldn’t have to deal with it alone. That wouldn’t be cool.”

“And there’s my friend. I knew you were in there somewhere.”

“Yeah, well generally I’m easier to find if you don’t fuck me about so much.”

“I’ll remember that the next time I decide to change species on you.”

“You’re telling me you’re not even human now?”

“Since when did you ever think girls were part of the human race?”

We were through the tunnel. There’d probably be rocks on the track ahead, but when wouldn’t there be in any friendship. The banter was back though, and the rest of the time we spent together felt not far from what we’d always had.

Not quite the same though. There was an underlying tension we could both feel. It would mean we’d need to renegotiate our friendship, and quite possibly the easiest way to do that would be to get him a girlfriend as soon as possible.

Maybe I could help once I was friends with a few.

We slouched around the park for a couple of hours, then my phone beeped. It was Dad wanting to know when I’d be home, which my girlgle translator interpreted as meaning, ‘I’m getting nervous. I want you home soon.’

“Dad’s being annoying and overprotective,” I said. “I’d better go.”

“This is the way things are going to be now, is it?”

I shrugged. “I’m guessing so, at least for a while.”

“Okay then. See you at college tomorrow. Jeans and a frumpy sweatshirt?”

“Since when did you ever use the word frumpy?”

His turn to shrug. “It seemed to fit.”

“Yeah, well I already tried that. I just look cute in a ‘girl in her boyfriend’s clothes’ kind of way. I was thinking go large or go home sort of thing.”

“So go home then?”

“I’m not turning into a hermit for anyone, Nick. Come prepared to drool.”

He shook his head and disappeared back towards his neighbourhood. I texted Dad that I was on my way home and settled into a relaxed walk, enjoying the scenery for a change.

#

Mr Giles’s car did nothing to raise my opinion of the man, or of the French automotive industry. Honestly, for a country that more or less single handedly brought fashion to the world, it had really shot itself in the arse when it came down to vehicular design. Peugeot was generally the exception to the rule, but even they had their dog days. The Peugeot 1007 for instance.

They had nothing on Citroen though, the rather beautiful irony being that the name meant lemon, and pretty much every car off the Citroen production line was one, at least in appearance. Giles’s DS was no exception. Okay its styling matched the nineteen sixties, but very much in a classic Citroen way. The insipid green – which looked like the original colour – finished off the look in as hideous a way as you can imagine. It was not a car I had any intention of being seen in dead or alive. Hell, I didn’t even want to be seen next to it.

I steeled myself and approached the passenger window, which he leaned across to wind down. I guess the sixties predated electricity.

“You actually chose to buy this?” I asked.

“What’s wrong with it? It’s a classic.”

“Yeah, so were Ugg boots, but I’m pretty sure anyone who values their rep would burn such monstrosities on sight.”

“Well, these aren’t Ugg boots,” He picked up a couple of pairs of shoes in my current size. The heels were a fair bit blockier than the spikes underneath, but they looked stylish enough. “If you kick something hard enough with the toe, the sheaths will spring off.”

“Two pairs?”

“One black pair, one beige. I’m told that between them, they’ll go with almost everything. I’ve been advised to sort out a grey pair and an off-white pair.”

“Ooh, Mr Giles has an advisor in girly matters.”

“Well, Miss Ephemeris if you must know. Hopefully these will do for now.”

“They are going to make my legs look so good.”

“Well, I am pleased. We aim to resolve the important issues.”

“Stuart, I told you sarcasm isn’t your thing.”

“Oh really. I thought I, I was rather good at it.”

“Well, thanks for the shoes. I’d better be getting back before Dad has a conniption.”

“You surprise me, Sarah. I wasn’t aware anyone in your generation knew what one of those was.”

“I think you’re wearing off on me.”

“Yes, well. Keep your mobile handy, just in case things go bad with the untethering. I’ll be trying to do it about midnight, I should think.”

“Ooh, the witching hour.”

“No. Well alright, yes. Magic does tend to work better at night. I’m just a bit of a night owl though, so it’s just the time my mind happens to be freshest.

“Please stay awake in case you’re needed.”

“Alright but let me know when you’re done. I need my beauty sleep.”

I changed into the black pair and practiced walking in them. Dancing was one thing but walking quite something else. It felt like I was balancing on the balls of my feet already, and shorter steps felt more natural. I wandered around the graveyard to get the feel of things and picked up a firsthand understanding of what he meant about fighting on soft ground, especially after I kicked a gravestone a couple of times to unsheath my weapons.

It was all together too easy to stick them in the ground and overbalance myself. I kept practicing until I had a sort of rhythmic dance that gave me access to most of the fighting moves I’d used. I might have done a little more if I hadn’t been interrupted by a flashlight.

“Who’s there?”

I made my way towards where I’d dropped my heel sheaths. It would have been easier if I’d been able to take my shoes off, but the straps were fiddly.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I was trying to find a shortcut, but my stupid heels got stuck.”

One sheath picked up. There was no difference between left and right, so I slid it over a spike and tugged on it until it clicked into place.

The flashlight drew closer, showing me my other heel which I managed to press home a moment before its owner was in front of me.

“Not the sort of place a young lady on her own should be after dark,” he said.

I took a hold of his flashlight and shone it into his face. No uniform. Nobody official.

“You’re probably right. I should be getting home.”

“Let me walk with you.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m not that far.”

“It’s no trouble. If you prefer, I can hang back and follow you. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“Oh, I’m safe, don’t mind me.”

“Okay, but I may just happen to be going the same way as you.”

I pointed in a direction roughly away from home.

“What a coincidence...”

I started walking homeward.

“...I was about to point that way before walking this. I’m David by the way. David Engel.

I gave him a once over. Head and shoulders taller than me with broad shoulders and a brooding look about his eyes. He smiled, but it felt like a practiced expression rather than anything genuine.

“Sarah,” I said. “Geller. I like your coat.” Long, leather, like Neo’s in The Matrix. All he was missing was the wraparound sunglasses, only who wears sunglasses at night?

“Thanks. I’d like to return the compliment and pick something of yours, but I’m spoilt for choice.”

“Seriously? Does that ever work?”

“Sometimes. I wasn’t really expecting anything this time, but I figured what the hell.”

“You live around here?”

“No. I’m new to the area.”

“What brings you?”

“I heard rumours of excitement.”

I laughed. “You heard about our traffic lights then?”

“What about them?”

“If you watch and wait long enough, the actually change colour.”

“I thought they all did that.”

“Yeah, well, if you’ve seen traffic lights change, you probably won’t find anything in our little village to excite you.”

“I don’t know. I just found something really exciting in one of the graveyards around here.”

“Points for persistence, and slightly better execution that time round. Anyway, this is my street. I hope you don’t mind, but I’d rather not show you which house.”

“I understand. Maybe I’ll see you around, Sarah.”

He turned and wandered off into the dark.

“Maybe you will, David,” I murmured under my breath.

It wasn’t my street, but there was a short alley through to it. It was unlit and I was just stepping into the shadows when some character in a black hoodie ran at me and grabbed my bag. The strap snapped, but I wasn’t about to let him get away. I spun around and swept his legs out from under him, then planted one of my shoes across his throat.

“That was my favourite handbag you just broke. How are you going to pay for it?”

“I don’t got no money, bitch. Why d’you think I was robbing you.”

I looked at the brand name on his trainers. Apparently, the reason he had no money was he spent it on designer gear.

“I’ll take those.”

“Aw man, not my kicks.”

“Call it a life lesson. For one, find something else to do other than robbery. You suck at it. And for two, don’t call the person who has a foot across your throat a bitch. Now take them off unless you want my other foot in your delicates.”

He took them off and handed them to me. I took them and my ruined bag and started walking away.

“Seriously though, dude,” I said, “in a few days you really won’t want to be out here after dark.”

The rest of my walk home was uneventful, except as I let myself in, I had a vague hint that maybe someone was watching from the shadows.

#

Needless to say, Mum and Dad were waiting up for me when I stepped through the door.

“Where the hell have you been?” Dad asked. “I don’t like you out there after dark, young lady.”

Needless to say, Mum spotted the shoes.

“Where did those come from?” she wanted to know.

The Spanish Inquisition has nothing on my parents.

“I went for a walk, Dad. It’s a lovely night and we live in a safe enough neighbourhood.”

“Some of the neighbours have been talking about a purse snatcher in the area. Oh, your handbag. How did that happen?”

“I got it caught on something.” Not a lie. The something happened to be our friendly neighbourhood purse snatcher.

“So, tell us about the shoes then,” Dad said.

“I ran into Mr Giles…

“I told you I didn’t want you seeing that man.”

“I know Dad, and I called him after lunch to tell him that. He just happened to spot me while I was out walking. The shoes are for me to practice with. He said I should wear them as much as possible, so I’m used to them when I practice my moves. I think he was planning to drop them in at the college tomorrow, but then he saw me walking. He asked me to apologise for him. He appreciates that you don’t want us meeting, but he didn’t think you’d mind his pausing to hand me these.”

“Yes, well. And the, er, what are those? They’re definitely too big for you, anyone can see that.”

“Yes, well, when Stuart gave me these, it reminded me I said I’d pick up a pair of trainers for Nick from one of his friends. I was going to take them with me tomorrow.”

“Yes, well. Perhaps you should get to bed since you have college tomorrow. I take it you finished your homework?”

“Yes Dad. I did that before I went out to see Nick this afternoon. Remember, that was part of our agreement, which I’m trying to keep.”

“Well, alright. Goodnight then, Sarah.”

“Night Dad. Would it be a bit weird if I gave you a kiss?”

“What? Yes! Well, maybe. Maybe not. Alright.”

I kissed him on the forehead. We’d work on the rest of it in time.

“Night Mum.” I didn’t need to ask her. She’d have been happy for a hug and a kiss goodnight from me is Mitchel or Sarah. I felt sorry for Dad with his hangups and was only glad I wasn’t caught up in that mess of repression and denial anymore.

Mum followed me upstairs to take me through all the creams and unctions of my nighttime routine, which meant I had to put on my nightdress and do the rest of my nighttime ablutions. The whole regime of goops was a lot more complicated than I was expecting, but I kind of got it towards the end. Mum followed me into my room to tuck me in and kiss me goodnight, which meant, by the time she was done, there didn’t seem much point getting dressed again on the off chance that Stuart messed up his spell.

Midnight was still more than half an hour away. Generally, I’m not a great one for reading, except for my college studies which were more of a chore than a pleasure, and I was pretty much up to date on my reading anyway, so instead, I picked up my phone, opened an incognito browser window a hunted around the internet, searching for anything that combined the terms vampire, portal, ley lines and greshnick. I wasn’t sure on the spelling of the last, so tried several variations, eventually finding myself in a place called the Dark Arts Web, where I logged in as a guest.

It looked like a chat forum for anyone interested in magic and seemed serious despite the passing reference to fictional wizardry.

Satana666: Shit going down in Summervale.

WikkaWannabe: Yeah, I heard someone summoned a greshnick

Lucifernal: No such thing

Satana666: Yeah, stay out of it Wannabe

Lucifernal: What you heard Satana?

Satana666: Disturbance in the ley lines. Feels like someone’s messing with them

Lucifernal: Sounds like something BlackMagicMan would do. Wanna fuck him up?

Satana666: Could be fun. Watcha got in mind?

Lucifernal: Ethereal disrupter?

Satana666: Kewl. I’ll get my candles.

Guest74679: No, you can’t

This was me. I mean, no PhD needed to figure out this was bad.

Satana666: Who’s the lurker?

Lucifernal: Don’t know. Wanna find out?

My phones camera turned on and my face appeared in an inset in the screen.

Satana666: Ooh, pretty. I want one.

WikkaWannabe: Logout quick!

Lucifernal: Do you think she’d look better with a wart on her nose?

Guest74679: Don’t let them mess with the spell

WIkkaWannabe: I won’t. GO!

I shut down the browser and dialled Mr Giles’s number

“You’ve reached the number for the Magic Box. I’m afraid I’m not available to take your call at present, but please leave your contact details after the beep and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

Beep. I mean, well duh.

“Stuart, if you’re screening, I just came across a chat forum where a couple of witches I suppose were talking about casting, what was it, ethereal disrupter I think to mess with someone called BlackMagicMan. If that’s you…”

“Oh no, you don’t get away that easily my pretty.”

I looked at my phone where the forum page was back again. My image was back on the screen, along with another less attractive one. To say goth look would have been unkind to goths. She didn’t seem to know where to stop. Spiky black hair, way too much kohl around the eyes, black lipstick and more piercings than you could shake a stick at.

I made a sort of eep sound pressed the power button on my phone. It took a few seconds before the shutdown options came up, then I had to force it to turn off despite the running apps. I dropped the phone on the bed in front of me.

My door opened a crack and Mum’s face appeared around the corner.

“Is everything alright, dear?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Just Nick trying to be funny and failing.”

“Yes, well, put that thing away. You should be sleeping. Or do I need to take it off you?”

“No, no, it’s okay. See, it’s off.” I showed her the blank screen.

“Alright. Well, no more, okay?”

“Okay Mum. Night.”

She closed the door.

“Uh, uh, uuh,” my phone said. The screen was on and goth girl was back. “You know the harder you try and run away the worse it’ll be for you when we do fuck you up? Now how big do you want that wart to be?”

DataWithDestiny: Back off Lucerferna

“Oh fuck, the white hats are here. If I find you had anything to do with this Wannabe, you’re going to wish…”

Goth girl’s face disappeared from the screen.

SiteAdmin: Luciferna’s account has been suspended pending a review of conduct and resources misuse. Satana666 is under caution.

Satana666: Fuck! I didn’t do anything.

SiteAdmin: “Kewl. I’ll get my candles.” ???

Satana666: I was fucking joking!

My face disappeared from the screen.

DataWithDestiny: Guest user, all links between the guest account and your device have been removed. I suggest you log off and don’t come back here. You’re out of your depth in this place.

Guest74679: What about BlackMagicMan?

DataWithDestiny: We’re handling it. Go!

So maybe I did need telling more than once, but not more than twice. I logged out and force shut down my browser. My phone vibrated. I just about kept the eep in this time. The caller ID showed Mr Giles.

“What?” I whispered into the phone.

“The spell is cast, but it didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped. The portal drifted across to the cemetery where we met earlier. I think you should head down there just to be sure.”

“Sarah?” Mum’s voice had a last nerve edge to it.

“Okay Mum, Sorry.”

“It’s important, Sarah, and, and rather urgent.” Mr Giles said into my ear.

“I know. I’m on it.”

I hung up and strapped into my shoes. The cemetery was a five-minute sprint away, assuming I could actually sprint in these shoes, I didn’t have the luxury of changing, and with Mum still on the prowl, I didn’t have the option of leaving through the front door either.

I made a crude body shape under the covers with my pillows, then climbed out the window. Hanging from the ledge, I pushed the window closed then dropped to the ground below. Dad was still watching TV but didn’t seem to notice the apparition in billowing white falling past the living room window.

Keeping low, I ran off towards the cemetery. The shoes were an added awkwardness, but I managed to keep a good pace all the way, slowing as the gates came in sight. I could hear sounds of fighting ahead, so changed my mind – women’s prerogative after all – and put on a last burst of speed, kicking the sheaths off my spikes as I entered the grounds.

A familiar figure stood in the middle of the graveyard, somehow holding his own against two vampires. They each had a hold of an arm and were attempting to pull him apart. Unsuccessfully for the time being it seemed.

I launched myself in a spinning flip that planted both my spikes in the back of the nearest vampire, turning him to dust before he could slow down my flight. I landed on the balls of my feet, as I’d been practicing, and swung into a roundhouse kick that took off the other one’s head, pulling my knee in close so I didn’t do the same to David.

“Interesting, er, shoes,” he said. “Thanks for the assist.”

“You shouldn’t be fighting these things,” I said. “You’re lucky they didn’t pull your arms off.”

“I’m tougher than you think. Nice to see you again. I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.”

“Yeah, well you know, just happened to be passing. Will you help me find the rest of my shoes.”

“What do you mean?”

I’d spotted one of the sheaths and danced over to collect it, slipping it over the sharpened hardwood and snapping it into place.

He found the other one and handed it across.

“Daring fashion statement,” he said as I slid that one on as well.

“I was in a bit of a hurry,” I said. “Just the two of them?”

“Three, but I took the other one out before those two jumped me.”

“Is that offer to walk me home still open?”

“Sure. What changed your mind about me?”

I nodded towards the piles of dust, now drifting off gently into the breeze. “Turns out we’re on the same side, though I’m not sure I should be encouraging you. There’s also something you can help me with when we get to the other end.”

He took off his coat and draped it over my shoulders, which was kind of gallant, except the hem was then dragging along the pavement.

“I’m grateful for the thought,” I said, “but I’ll ruin it. It’s not that cold a night and I should be fine.” Global warming and that. Definitely no snow expected this Christmas.

“I guess I’ll have to find a shorter coat for next time.”

“Don’t. That one looks good on you.”

“Okay. So, tell me, what brings you out wearing a pretty nightdress and those scary shoes?”

“Yeah, I was going to ask you the same thing, apart from the nightdress of course, and the scary shoes. Although your shoes are pretty scary too, in their own way...”

Shutup, shutup, shutup. What just happened to my capacity say anything sensible?

He laughed. “I was looking for somewhere to sleep when those three jumped me.”

“You don’t have anywhere to sleep tonight?”

“Yes, of course I do. I just don’t know where it is yet.”

“Oh, is it like Air BnB? You book the place and can’t find it when you get there?”

“Not really, no.”

“Because that would be a lot easier if they used What3Words, don’t you think? Sorry, what?”

“It’s not like Air BnB, but how come you were out in the cemetery dressed for bed.”

“Oh, that’s... kind of complicated.”

“I don’t need all the details. Just the highlights.”

“Someone I know untethered a portal from his basement at midnight and it didn’t go quite as planned. He asked me to check the cemetery in case something snuck through.”

“Okay, maybe I do need a few more details. Why would anyone untether a portal?”

“The guy with the portal in his basement was relying on me to keep down the things that come through it, but my parents aren’t that happy with me going to his place.”

“You?”

I pinned my arms by my side and relaxed my legs into the loose semi-chaos that is Irish Dancing. A couple of syncopated beats later, I dropped back into my normal walk before my heels snagged on my nightdress.

He gave an ah of recognition. “Into every generation…”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“He didn’t give you the slayer speech yet?”

“He mentioned something about me possibly being the slayer.”

“Only possibly? Usually it’s kind of obvious, like with the way you took out those two vamps just now. Why don’t your parents want you seeing him, other than the whole creepy older dude showing an interest in the innocent young girl thing, which I suppose is a fair reason.”

“Well, there is that, plus he may have inadvertently turned me into a girl.”

“I’m sorry, come again now?”

“I used to be a guy. In fact, as recently as Saturday morning. He called me into his shop – I mean you’re new here, so maybe you don’t know the weird black shop in the arcade…”

“I know of it, but you were saying.”

“Yeah. It started when I joined the try outs for the Irish Dancing squad at college. I didn’t make the team, because our dance teacher was only looking for girls, but she did say the guy from the shop might be interested in coaching me.

“On Saturday he stopped me as I was walking past his shop. He persuaded me to do a few practice routines with him, which then stretched into my encounter with a couple of vampires…”

“In at the deep end, eh?”

“Something like that. Anyway, by the time I’d finished the routine, I was halfway towards becoming this. I did another session with him later in the afternoon with my dad present for part of it…”

“Not the vampire killing part?”

“No, which was just as well because I ended up facing a, er, greshnick I think it’s called.”

“Yeah, I sensed one of them coming through. That’s quite a handful on a first encounter.”

“Second if the morning was my first.”

“How many vampires were with it?”

“I lost count. I’m thinking at least thirty, but once you get into the rhythm with them, they’re easy.”

“Never easy. I’ll admit they lack imagination, but they’re fast and strong enough to take advantage of any complacency. The moment you give them a fraction of an inch, you’re toast. Don’t forget that.”

“Fair point. All right, I won’t.”

“All that being said, you can clearly look after yourself. I’m a little curious why you want me to come along.”

“Oh, it’s not for protection. We’re here.” I pointed at my house. The downstairs light was off which meant this wouldn’t be quite such a stealth mission. “That’s my bedroom,” I pointed at my window. “Would you give me a boost so I can get back up to it.”

“Is that what I am to you? A stepping stool?”

“You offered to help. This is how I need help right now. If it’s too much to ask, I’ll figure out a way to scramble up there by myself.”

“No, it’s fine. Here.” He made a stirrup with his hands, lifting me as though I weighed nothing – which from his point of view I pretty much did. I mean, I was half the weight I’d started with – and heaven knows where all that weight had gone – and if his fight with the two vamps was anything to go by, he was faster and stronger than your average.

Standing on his outstretched hands, I was hip high to the windowsill. The window was pushed shut as I’d left it, so all it took was a healthy step up from my perch.

No, let’s try that again. Lift the hem of my nightie out the way and a healthy step up from my perch.

I dropped down silently into my room, waved him goodnight and pulled the window closed.

Apparently I wasn’t as silent as I’d thought. I could hear Mum’s gentle footsteps padding across the landing. I slipped under the covers with my shoes still on, rearranging the pillows as I did so. Completely buried in the duvet, I just about made out the sound of my door creaking open.

“Sarah?” Mum called quietly.

Make like a… what are those animals that play dead? American things. Look like a cross between a badger and a rat. You know the ones? Anyway, make like one of them.

I felt Mum’s hand rest gently on my shoulder through the duvet.

“Mmn?” I murmured, shifting a little but still pretending to be asleep.

Opossum! That’s the fella.

“Are you awake dear?”

“Mmmnoo.”

I felt her lips brush gently against my cheek, then she withdrew, the door closing with a gentle snick.

I kept still, listening, then heard her slippered footfalls recede gently. As quietly as I could, I unbuckled my shoes and lowered them to the floor. A quick glance at my phone told me it was one o’clock. I texted Stuart to tell him all was well then dived into Morpheus’ arms. Getting up in the morning was going to be my next challenge.

Chapter 6

Surprisingly, I woke before my alarm. I slipped out of bed, noticing how filthy my feet were, which meant my nightdress and bedding were a mess too. I threw on a dressing gown and slipped across to the bathroom without rousing anyone. The shower would wake Mum, but there wasn’t much I could do about that.

With me thoroughly cleansed, I bundled up my nighty and headed back to my room wearing just my dressing gown. Mum appeared just as I closed the door, so I paused long enough to smile good morning to her.

Light tights probably unnecessary given the clement weather, pants and skater skirt complete with sewn in briefs. Light tee-shirt and short sleeve cardigan. The shoes needed a little bit of a wipe over, but fortunately the dusty final state of vampires meant no gore to speak of. I bundled up the sheet and duvet cover with my nighty, grabbed my phone and school bag and headed downstairs…

Where Mum was yawning hugely in the kitchen. I dodged into the utility room and loaded up the washer dryer. It was one of those fancy new ones that had reservoirs of detergent and fabric softener, so all I needed to do was set it to eco wash and dry and back out.

“Anything you want to tell me about?” Mum asked, pouring the contents of the kettle into a teapot.

“I may have messed up my bedding a little,” I said. “It’s in the wash. I’ll sort it when I get home.”

Mum slid a thing across the table to me.

“Oh, I’m not sure I need…”

“Better safe than sorry love. You know what to do with it?”

“I… Could you tell me?”

So she did, before sending me off to the downstairs loo to complete the lesson with a little solo practical activity.

To my relief, the thing fit. If I still wasn’t fully baked, then I had to be pretty close.

“I really don’t think I need it, Mum,” I said when I emerged fully equipped for emergencies. “I think I may have nicked a spot or something.”

“Well, humour me for now, will you. Keep that with you for the moment,” she slid another across the table to me, “and take the current one out at lunchtime. If there’s no blood, you should be okay. If there is put this one in.”

“Okay.”

“I thought I heard you moving about in the night. Do you feel bloated or have cramps at all?”

I shook my head. “Maybe a bad dream.”

“What sort of bad dream?”

“I dreamt I woke up and I was Mitchel again. We’d already thrown all my clothes out and I had to go to school in a skirt.” I wasn’t bad at fiction when I needed to be.

“Sounds pretty awful. I used to dream of standing up in front of the class to give a book report and suddenly finding myself naked.”

“I didn’t really care about the humiliation, Mum. It was the feeling of being male again. Wearing girl clothes just made it feel worse.” I didn’t need much imagination to put myself in that place.

“Well, dear, if it’s any consolation, what you’re currently going through is exclusively the province of women.”

I smiled ruefully. “It would be, Mum, only I don’t think I am. Not yet anyway.”

“Well, at least you don’t have the other main concern of a girl worrying over her monthly time not starting. At least I assume you don’t have that concern.”

I looked at her, shocked, but there was a mischievous twinkle on her eye.

“There’s my daughter,” she smiled, handing me over a mug of tea. “Now eat a proper breakfast. You need some carbs to keep that brain of yours ticking over.”

“I wonder if that’s what’s wrong with Clarrisa.”

Mum twitched an eyebrow.

“Clarrisa Cooper. Queen bee type at college. She’s the prettiest girl in the school, present company included, but she’s as thick as congealed porridge.”

“That’s not very kind, dear. If it’s something she can’t help, you could show her a little understanding.”

“I don’t think that’d work with Clarrisa. She’s not all that friendly.”

“Maybe if someone showed her a little friendship first, she’d learn to be.”

“I’m not making any promises, Mum.”

“Well, at least think about it. Remember what it was like when you first started school here.”

“That was hardly my fault.”

“I’m not saying it was. Perhaps the same is true for this Clarrisa.

“Besides, things are going to be different for you now. Your friends aren’t going to know how to treat you. I suspect a number of them won’t want to be around you anymore, and no, it’s not fair and it’s not your fault. Just think about how that makes you feel before deciding how you’re going to treat others.

“Oh, and while you’re at it, you may want to give some thought to how you’d like other people to see you. Are you sure you want to spend your first day in college in a short skirt and fuck me shoes?”

“Mum!”

“I’m not going to apologise. That’s just what they are, and your feet are going to hurt like hell by the time you get to the end of the day.

“Look, you’re nearly eighteen, so it’s a little late to start trying to tell you what to do – not that I’ve had any opportunity to address these particular issues with you before today, but at least take a pair of sensible shoes with you, and maybe something with a slightly longer skirt.”

“Mum, this is conservative compared to what some of the girls wear.”

“Yes, and that’s no reason to emulate them. Sarah, you’re in a unique position to know exactly how showing that much leg is going to affect your male friends. Is that really how you want them to see you?”

“Well, since I am a girl now, then yes I’d rather they saw me as a hot one.”

“Who – what’s the phrase you youngsters use? – who ‘puts out?’”

“The alternative is less appealing Mum. You’re right, I am in a unique position to know what my male friends think and say about the girls who turn up more conservatively dressed, and it’s generally not the sort of reputation I want. Besides, it’s too warm to wear anything longer.”

“Well, it’s your funeral.”

“You’re right, it is. I’ll take your advice and take something more sensible to change into in case it gets a bit much, but I kind of like this look, and if my friends are going to be weirded out by the change, then the sooner they come to terms with the new me, the better for us all.”

Cereal eaten, juice drunk, I nipped upstairs to grab a slightly longer summer dress and a pair of flats, then headed for the door.

“You do realise you won’t be able to use your student ID now?” Mum called after me.

I stuck my head back into the kitchen.

“What should I do?”

“I discussed this with your father yesterday. He doesn’t need the car until a little later today, so I’ll drive you in to the college and sort out any paperwork that needs dealing with. Just give me a couple more minutes to drink my tea.”

To be honest, I’d been dreading walking into the place on my own. Like Mum had said, it was going to be totally different, and I wasn’t even sure how much I’d be able to count on Nick. I mean he’d been cool about it in the end once we’d met and chatted, but peer pressure had an effect on everyone.

“Weren’t you going to take those trainers for Nick?” Mum asked.

I had said that. I hunted out the trainers I’d taken from my would-be assailant and dropped them in a carrier bag. Mum was ready by the time I had things sorted, so we headed out to the car.

“Sit and swivel,” Mum demonstrated, “keeping your legs together. Unless, of course, you want to give everyone a free peak. That’s the thing with short skirts, darling. You have to keep thinking about how not to show off your underwear.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Not entirely, no. I’m rather worried about keeping my daughter safe, especially since she doesn’t have access to all the wisdom I would have tried to teach her had she not been my son until a couple of days ago. But yes, alright. Maybe a little.”

#

The paperwork took a while since the receptionist couldn’t find the correct form for dealing with students spontaneously changing gender. Eventually the principal involved himself and I made it to my first class a half hour after it started. I handed my teacher the note the principal had given me then looked around for a seat.

“And you are?” the teacher asked, giving me a pointed stare and ignoring the note in his hand.

To be fair on him, none of the teachers would know about me yet.

“I’m Sarah, Mr Chomsky. I used to be Mitchel. The note explains it.”

My usual seat was empty, so I made my way over to it and sat down. The guy behind me dropped a pencil then bent down really low to pick it up before swivelling his neck around to look up at me from ground level. I held the hem of my skirt close to my legs and give him a fuck off, thin lipped smile.

“If you’re quite finished, Mr Myers,” Mr Chomsky said from the front, still looking a little bemused at my note.

The asshole behind me settled back into his seat, looking a little embarrassed. A number of the class kept glancing across at me. Actually, let’s face it, the whole class were doing it. Mr Chomsky made a couple of attempts at restarting the class, then gave up.

“Miss Geller, perhaps you’d come to the front and address the class. I doubt we’ll get much done otherwise.”

Rather nervously I made my way back to stand in front of everyone.

“Okay, so I’m sure you’ve all seen the photo doing the rounds of social media. Yes, I used to be Mitchel Geller. Yes, something happened to me on Saturday that turned me into this. No, I don’t know how it happened and no I’m not all that freaked out by it. It is what it is, which is pretty cool from my perspective. You all know me, and most of you remember me from school. I was never that good a fit as a guy, so I’m actually quite excited to see how this turns out.

“If it’s weird for you, imagine what it’s like for me. If it helps, imagine Mitchel left and I’m his cousin who came to take his place. I’d appreciate it if you just treated me like any other girl. Also, I’ll be happy to answer what questions you have at break. In the meantime, could we get back to, you know, maths and stuff?”

I went back to my seat.

“Thank you, Mitch – er, I mean Sarah. I imagine it’ll take a while to get used to the new you. In the meantime, back to maths, and, er, stuff.”

The rest of the class went by without a hitch, except this one girl, red headed and conservatively dressed, who kept looking across at me.

After the class she kind of sidled up to me on the way out.

“You’re that girl, aren’t you?”

“The one who used to be a boy?” I asked. “I guess so.”

“No, I, I mean, on... the computer. Last night. You’re you... I mean she’s her. No... I mean you’re she.”

She spoke in short, panicked gasps, until I put a hand on her shoulder. “Which one were you?” I asked.

“WikkaWannabe. I... went to get help. I know how some of those girls can be. They... gave me a big, hairy mole... Just here,” she pointed in the middle of her left cheek. “It took me nearly a week to figure out how to get rid of it.”

“How...”

“I did a reversal of affliction. It can make matters worse if you aren’t as powerful as the person who cast the original spell, but Lucifernal didn’t come into college for a month after.”

“Wait! Ubergoth comes here?”

“Yeah. She’s studying motorcycle mechanics, I think, so she doesn’t appear in public that often.

“Anyway, she and Satan666 kind of begrudgingly let me on the site. I mean it’s not theirs, but they sort of scared everyone away.

“Except... you, of course. And you shouldn’t have come on the site. How did you find it anyway? Do you know what they could have done to you? You don’t want to piss people like that off you know. Ooh, sorry. I said a bad word.”

“It’s alright, I won’t tell. I should thank you. You really save my arse back there.

“See, I can use bad words too, and it doesn’t do any harm.”

“Yes, well... Miss Ephemeris said if I saw you, I should bring you to see her.”

“Miss Ephemeris would be DataWithDestiny?”

“Yes, only you’re not to tell anyone. Can you meet me in the library at break?”

“Well, I don’t know. I was planning on going to the cafeteria and talk to anyone who wants to know more about what happened to me.”

“Yes... but... please.”

She was so earnest, it felt like kicking a puppy, especially with her soulful eyes.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll come. Where is the library again?’

“It’s...” she made as if to point.

“Just kidding. I have politics now.”

“Advanced calculus.” Hardly surprising, given her rep.

“So, I’ll see you after.”

I arrived at my next class just ahead of the bell. I offered my note to Mr Cox, who waved me into a seat. Apparently, the teacher’s grapevine had kicked in and he knew about my unusual circumstances. The same creep who’d tried looking up my skirt in maths was currently sitting behind my usual seat, so I looked around to find a girl pointing at the seat next to her.

Bigger than the surprise of a girl inviting me to sit by them was who the girl was. I walked over and sat in the indicated spot next to Clarissa.

“Where did you get those kick-ass shoes,” she whispered as I sat.

“Erm, they’re part of my dance training.”

“What dance training?”

“Erm, you remember the Irish dancing trials?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t see you there.”

“I looked a bit different, and yes you did. You were a little upset with me as I recall.”

“Oh my God. Mitchel?”

“It’s Sarah now.”

“I thought that was just a joke!”

“Miss Cooper? Miss Geller? Would you mind if we start the lesson anytime soon?”

“I’m sorry Mr Cox,” I said, just as Clarissa said, “Sure, whatever.”

“So what’s the deal?” she asked in a not very subtle stage whisper as soon as Mr Cox started talking.

I shook my head and shushed her just as our teacher turned his head our way.

“Anything you two would care to share with the class?” he asked.

“No sir,” I said. “Nothing that can’t wait till lunch.” I gave Clarissa a meaningful glare which had her rolling her eyes.

Mr Cox started again and Clarissa opened her mouth again. This time I pre-empted her by kicking her gently in the ankle.

“Ow!” she said, just a little louder than necessary.

Mr Cox looked our way. “One more disturbance and you’re out,” he said. “Both of you.”

“Yes sir.”

Once more the lesson started and once more Clarissa opened her mouth to speak. I glared at her threateningly until she subsided. I actually liked politics and the last thing I needed was a visit to the principal on my first day in public as a girl.

It didn’t last long. With Clarissa, to think it is to speak it, and it was actually something of a record that it took her ten minutes to think of something new, at which point she whispered it to me loud enough for everyone to here, “I suppose that skirt is part of your dance kit too.”

I couldn’t blame Mr Cox. He’d been more than patient, but I wished he’d taken the time to see exactly who was responsible for the interruptions.

“What a jerk!” Clarissa said at the top of her voice before the door closed behind us.

That wasn’t going to help us any.

We ended up waiting the rest of the lesson before Principal Piccolo made an appearance. He waved us through, at which point Clarissa complained that it wasn’t her fault, and that I’d come and sat next to her. The principal looked at me expectantly.

“I sat in my usual seat in maths and had boys trying to look up my skirt sir, so when Clarissa waved me over, I thought it would be better, except she kept talking, even when I tried shushing her. I was trying to listen to Mr Cox.”

“Let me see your notes then.”

I pulled them out and handed them over. There wasn’t that much, but then… “Mr Cox told us to leave after ten minutes, sir.”

“Miss Cooper?”

“Oh, I don’t take notes in class.”

“Because you remember everything your teacher tells you, which I assume means you’ll be able to tell me what Mr Cox was talking about in the ten minutes you were present in his lesson?”

Clarissa glowered at me, then snapped, “This isn’t fair. My father’s going to hear about this. All I wanted to know was what the hell is going on with her. Or is it him? I mean it’s not every day a guy turns into a girl, is it?”

Piccolo looked at me.

“I already told everyone I’d be pleased to tell them everything I know at break time, or lunchtime, since I think Miss Ephemeris wants a word with me now. I’m supposed to be meeting her in the library.”

“Then you’d better go. We’ll call this a verbal warning for you both. Do please try not to make a habit of this.”

“Of course sir. Thank you.”

Dismissed, I rushed off towards the library. Clarissa followed me out.

“Hey, wait up,” she called, then when I paused and turned her way, “What’s his problem, yeah?”

“Clarissa, I really appreciated you inviting me to sit with you today, and I’d be happy to talk to you about what’s been going on with me at lunch, but maybe we shouldn’t sit together in class again.”

“Hey, what did I do? You sat with me, remember.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t expect you to keep talking after class started, and I really didn’t expect you to keep talking after we’d been given our last warning.

“Never mind Principal Piccolo or Mr Cox, if you don’t see that you’re the one with the problem, then maybe we have one.”

“Well screw you. Just what is your problem?”

“I’m beginning to think you are.”

“Well, no more, loser. Serves me right for trying to be charitable to the world’s latest loser. Good luck making friends now.”

She stormed off. Well, somewhat ironically, that served me right. It would also most likely bite a chunk out of my newly cutified bottom since, apart from being self-centred, vain and vacuous in the extreme, Clarissa was also inexplicably popular. Good looks were as far as it needed to go with the lads, whereas well enough off to be able to spend obscene amounts of money on fashion probably swung it for a significant proportion of the female population.

Oh well, good thing I was used to being a pariah.

#

“Good of you to join us,” Miss Ephemeris greeted me as I made my entrance into the library. “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.”

“Sorry, I got waylaid.”

“I, er, was waylaid,” a familiar voice said from behind a stack of books. “You youngsters seem to be overly fond of the word ‘got’ when in all circumstances without exception, a better word is available.”

“Mr Giles! What brings you here?”

“A, a job, apparently, thanks to Miss Ephemeris here putting in a good word on my behalf. It, it, seems there is a particularly strong convergence of ley lines under the college – un-under the library in particular, and, er, the, er por-portal appears to be, er, latching on to it.

“It’s still loose for now, but like water circling a drain, it will almost certainly settle here in time.”

“And Principal Piccolo just happened to have an opening for ‘weird mystical shop owner who lurks in the library doing spooky stuff with old books?’”

“I, I would prefer eccentric to weird, but essentially correct. The job is more correctly entitled ‘librarian.’ The college was looking and Miss Ephemeris put me forward for the post.”

“She got you the job, huh?”

“She arranged for me to have an interview with the principal, yes. The rest I achieved on my own merits.

“It benefits us in a number of ways. Firstly, your parents won’t be able to object to your spending a little additional time in the library, so we should be able to resume your training during school hours. Secondly, I’ll be able to keep an eye on the portal’s movements and direct your attention for evening patrols. Thirdly, it will mean we’re both well placed when the portal eventually settles here.”

“And fourthly,” Miss Ephemeris said, “it’ll mean I can keep an eye on both of you and hopefully keep you from pissing off two of the most powerful witches in the neighbourhood.”

“Yes,” Stuart had his spectacles off and was polishing them, “your actions last night were somewhat reckless, albeit serendipitous at the same time.”

“Don’t encourage her, Stuart. What she did was irresponsible and stupid.”

“I’m assuming you’re talking about the website thing. Since when was browsing the internet ‘irresponsible and stupid?’”

“Since it involved messing with powers you haven’t come close to understanding, you silly little girl.”

“Hey, steady on. She wasn’t to know, and she did prevent those two from disrupting a delicate and dangerous spell.”

“You stay out of it. I’m still pretty pissed off with you for trying a stunt like that without calling in a little support.”

“Hey lady, don’t get your panties in a bunch!”

“Don’t, er... Alright, I’ll give you that one. But you can’t be too harsh on the girl. She was trying to be helpful...”

“And very nearly got herself disabled at a time when we desperately need her at her strongest, and don’t you dare correct my grammar.”

“Al-alright.”

“Geller, you stay out of the mystic web. Leave that sort of thing to people who know what they’re doing.”

“Not going to argue. Last night was a lesson I’m not going to forget.”

“Good. Laurel, perhaps you’d stay close in case these bumbling fool needs a techno-witch.”

“Er, ah, oh, sure, okay.”

“I’ll be down the hall in case you need me, and bloody well ask next time. This is why men and witchcraft don’t mix. A lot of it is too dangerous to do on your own, delicate male ego or not.”

“Did someone say witchcraft?” Nick demonstrating his knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Nick, what are you doing here?” I asked. “This is the library.”

“Oh, har very har. I was looking for you, and someone said they’d seen you come down here. Now, witchcraft?”

“Yes, it, it used to be quite prevalent in this region. Miss Ephemeris and I were hoping Sarah and Laurel might be able to, to help us research it.”

“I might be able to help. My grandmother used to be a witch.”

“Elspeth Brandon?” Miss Ephemeris asked.

“You knew her?”

“By reputation only. I was saddened to hear of her passing on. Okay, you can be in the Scooby Gang.”

“Really?” Stuart asked.

“Good pedigree. I think we can trust him.

“Break’s nearly over and I have a class to teach. Sarah, come find me in the gym at lunchtime for a little training. I’m sure it won’t be as good as Mr Giles here can provide, but let’s give him a day or two to settle in. All four of you, let’s meet here briefly after school.”

#

My last class of the morning was English composition, which has to be one of the easiest classes ever to teach.

“Okay class, I want an essay describing your thoughts on a new experience you’ve had. You have until the end of the lesson.”

Every head down scratching away industriously for the next hour while our teacher stared at his computer screen, quite possibly playing solitaire for all the effort he seemed to make.

He looked up from time to time, but didn’t seem that bothered about discipline, since every time he did, Clarissa seemed to be whispering to one of her neighbours, and every time he caught her doing so, she’d put on a bright-eyed look if innocence and ask, “What?”

The greatest difficulty I usually have in those classes is deciding what to write about. For once this didn’t apply and by the end of the lesson I’d written twice as much as anyone else, and my hands were cramping.

“On Becoming a Girl,” he read my title back to me when I handed him my efforts. “This was intended to be a real life event, Miss er...”

“Geller,” I told him. “Sarah. Used to be Mitchel. It is.”

He scrutinised me through half lidded eyes as though trying to figure out how I was trying to make fun of him. In the end he added it to the top of the pile.

“See what I mean? She flaunts it as though it was some sort of big deal. Honestly, it’s like she thinks she something super special now, just because she used to be a guy. And what’s that all about? I mean ew.”

Queen bee Clarissa was surrounded by drones – no, that’s not right. Drones were neutered males, I seemed to recall, and these were anything but. They fussed around her while she held court, nonetheless.

I thought my way through several carefully crafted retorts before deciding she wasn’t worth any of them.

Besides, I needed to get some lunch in me before going to see Miss Ephemeris.

Which didn’t prove to be that easy since half the school population had been waiting for a chance to ask their questions.

Not that they were all that varied. Most of the guys either wanted to ask me out or to give my new body a test ride, neither of which prospect I found particularly appealing, and I have to admit my patience wore thin after the dozenth or so time I was asked the same question.

“The girls’ questions took a little more answering but were nearly as repetitive. “Why had I done it?” I hadn’t done it. I’d had it done to me, but I was okay with it. “Did I prefer being a girl?” I did, but then who wouldn’t. Yeah, a lot of the guys wouldn’t, but I wasn’t talking to them. “What did I like most about being a girl?” Everything – so far, I mean. I mean how can you choose? “Did I miss anything about being a guy?” No, not really. Significantly more gained than lost in the transaction.

It took me fifteen minutes to eat half my chicken salad. Maybe that was something I missed – the carbs.

Anyway, I tossed what I hadn’t eaten and headed off to the gym where Miss Ephemeris waited for me impatiently, complete with foot tapping.

I won a few brownie points by tapping my own feet to her rhythm and breaking into a complex counter pointing dance, all improvised.

A few girls who’d been slow changing after their lesson appeared as I warmed up and extended my routine to include more dynamic moves, becoming more athletic and more martial in nature. One or two of my audience disappeared briefly, returning minutes later with a larger audience.

Miss Ephemeris picked out the Irish Dance squad members and had them change while I continued. When they reappeared, she waved me to a stop and had them line up.

A week’s drilling had improved them no end. Their footfalls were a lot more synchronised than I remembered from the try outs, and they included some more complex moves, maintaining their line formation whilst wheeling about on the stage.

After their first time through on the sequence, Miss Ephemeris invited me to join in again, and this time I weaved my dance in and out around theirs, including a few jumps that had me spinning over their heads low enough to make some of them duck and squeal. The routine lasted a further twenty minutes, with the lineup repeating their sequence several times over.

Miss Ephemeris drew things to a close and sent the girls off to shower and change. For all my exertions, I hadn’t broken sweat, so I didn’t need to join them. I only had the summer dress Mum had persuaded me to bring as a change of clothing, and I didn’t really feel like putting it on.

“You’ve improved,” the dance teacher said.

“More flexible body,” I said, “plus smaller and lighter with maybe stronger legs. And better sense of coordination.”

“Better off as a girl then?”

“I suppose so. My temperament’s different too. I feel kind of exhilarated while I’m moving, but not over the top trying to show off or feeling overwhelmed with rage.”

She nodded. “I can see why you were chosen, and why you were changed. Do you mind the alterations?”

“No, except for having to keep answering questions like that.”

She smiled. “Sorry. It’s a natural thing to ask though.”

“I suppose.”

“This is where your strength lies, Sarah. I know you were only trying to help last night, but stick to what you do best and leave things like that to those of us who are gifted in the mystical arts.”

“Yeah, I think I said earlier. Lesson learned on that score. I understand Lucifernal comes here.”

“Yes. Amy Allen. She’s usually too busy trying to persuade the guys in the machine shop she’s a better mechanic than them. I have a feeling she’s using magic to help her with that, but I can’t prove anything yet.”

“What if she recognises me?”

“She won’t.”

“How come?”

“I used a little concealment charm. Every time she sees you, she’ll think she’s looking at someone a lot more plain and forgettable.”

“Oh. Thanks, I suppose. How long will that last?”

“Long enough for her to forget she ever had an issue with you. She’s probably half way to forgetting her little encounter with you last night already.”

“Alright. Anyway, lesson learned no more looking for creepy websites for me. Not even Terry Richardson.”

“How do you know about his stuff.”

“Media studies.”

“Fair enough”

“Speaking of which, I have a double.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in the library afterwards.”

“Sure, only...”

“What?”

“Between you and Stuart, which of you is in charge?”

She smiled. “Let’s let him believe he is, shall we? It’ll probably be easier.”

#

Media studies wasn’t the doss subject we’d all thought it would be. It covered a lot of psychology and social science, looking at how different kinds of media impacted the world. I’d taken it as an easy to extra but had since found it to be more interesting than any of my other subjects. Clarissa had definitely taken it as an easy option and sat at the back of the class, doing her faux whisper thing, which was annoyingly distracting, but not enough to upset the teacher.

We were looking at social media right now, which really had me interested, so I was more than a little annoyed when Laurel burst into the room halfway through the lesson.

“I, I’m sorry,” she said, looking like she wanted to find a hole to crawl into, “but I’ve been asked to fetch Sarah Geller.”

All eyes swivelled in my direction. Miss Vander made a sweeping motion with her arm, indicating I should go, so I grabbed my books and followed Laurel out into the corridor, some snide, semi-whispered comment from Clarissa following me out.

As soon as we were in the clear I gave Laurel a look.

“I-it’s Giles, I mean Mr Giles. He says the portal snapped across to the basement and he thinks something got through.”

“Did he say what?”

“He didn’t seem to know what, just that you should go have a look.”

We’d stopped short of the library near a door that said Authorised Personnel Only. Laurel opened the door and ushered me through. I held out my books for her, then unsheathed my heels, carrying the sheaths with me down into the darkness.

The basement was lit by a series of those pathetic bulbs that seem to suck what light there is out of the room. I made my way down pipe lined corridors, relying more on my secondary senses than sight.

I smelt them first. I hadn’t registered the smell before, but they had a faint sickly-sweet odour to them. Their movements were quiet, but not quite silent, which meant I got the drop on the first one – sorry Giles, had the drop on the first one. I sunk my heel into his chest up to the sole of my shoe, then levered myself into a spinning somersault as a second vampire charged in, brushing my arm just as it collided with one of the pieces of ducting

Arms by your sides, I admonished myself as my feet entered a mind numbingly confused tap routine.

Two more newcomers paused, mesmerised by my footwork before a spinning jump slashed my heel blades across both their necks, severing them enough to turn them to dust.

Meanwhile the stunned character behind me recovered enough to grab me into a bear hug. I could sense his fangs descending on my neck as I brought my feet up and stabbed with both of them into his crotch.

Not a killing blow, but enough to make him let go of me and double up over his injury. I pulled my feet free quickly enough to twist and land facing him. I brought my left knee up into his face, then lashed out with my right foot as he staggered back, catching him in the chest and turning him to dust.

A familiar subsonic growl reached me from the darkness. Greshnik, but it had to be smaller if it was going to fit down here. I felt it charge at me rather than saw it, and dived between its legs, landing on outstretched arms and springing backwards into that weak spot at the base of its spine. It roared in pain, but only briefly as I withdrew my heels and brought them down again between its shoulder blades, turning it into yet more choking dust.

“What’s going on down there?” Principal Piccolo’s voice sounded from the top of the stairs. This wasn’t going to go well.

I put my weapons away, treading hard on each heel to click it into place, then stepped gingerly into the light.

“Miss Geller. When a new student appears within my sphere of influence not once but twice on their first day, that doesn’t bode very well.”

“No sir, only this isn’t my first day.”

“So you say. The thing is, I don’t know what you and your parents are trying to achieve – assuming they are your parents of course – but you must think me naive in the extreme if you think for one second, I’m going to believe you used to be Mitchel Geller.”

“I don’t know how to respond to that sir.”

“Well, perhaps instead you could tell me what you’re doing in the school basement, Miss Geller.”

“Er, well...” what could be corroborated? “Er, Laurel came to fetch me from Miss Vander’s class. I understand Mr Giles was asking for me.”

Mr Piccolo looked behind him at Laurel, who looked more nervous and upset than anybody with a clear conscience ought to be. She nodded timidly.

“That still doesn’t explain why you’re down there and not in, say the library?”

“Yes, well, I thought I heard something down here.”

“So instead of seeking out help, you thought you’d, what, open the door that says... You can see what it says on the door, Miss Geller?”

“Yes sir, but...”

“But nothing Miss Geller. What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know that I was, sir.”

“Damn right you weren’t. Tell me Miss Geller, what did you find down there?”

“Er, just a lot of dust, sir.” Well, that’s all that was down here now.

“One of the teachers said she thought she heard someone or something cry out in pain.”

“Yes, er some of the pipes down here are rather hot. I, er, touched one by accident.” There was a hot pipe next to me. I put a hand on it and managed not to react to the pain. Not too much, but I’d need some evidence to support my words.

“Perhaps you understand why it says on the door, ‘Authorised personnel only.’”

“Yes sir.”

“Are you authorised personnel, Miss Geller?”

“No sir.”

“Then perhaps you’d like to come up and let me have a look at your injury.”

I did so, showing him my self-inflicted blisters.

“Right, perhaps we’d better let the nurse have a look at this. Miss Pinkstone, would you head over to the library and tell Mr Giles that Miss Geller is with me and that I’d very much like for him to join me in my office at his earliest convenience.”

“Yes sir,” Laurel said, jumping at the chance to run away.

“And where are you supposed to be at present?”

“Er, study period, sir.”

“Hence why you were in the library. Very well, I suggest you get back to your studying then.”

“Yes sir.” She vanished down the corridor while I followed the principal to the nurse’s station.

She examined my hand. “Hmm, just a little redness to the skin. Here,” she soaked a cloth under the tap for a moment and wrung the excess water off it, “hold this for a while.”

I did so, lifting the cloth to look at my hand. There had been blisters there a moment ago.

“Don’t fiddle with it. When your hand stops hurting you can drop it in the sink.”

It had already stopped hurting, but from her comment it probably shouldn’t have just yet.

She opened a book a picked up a pen. “Right, tell me what happened.”

“I went down into the boiler room, I think. I touched a hot pipe by accident.”

“Were there warning signs on the door?”

I told her what it had said.

“Yet you went in anyway. You realise the college isn’t liable for injuries sustained when you disregard the warning signs.”

“Yes.”

“So, learn from this. You were lucky. That could have been a lot worse.” She lifted the damp cloth to reveal healthy skin beneath. “How does it feel now.”

“Better, thanks. I mean good. No pain.” I flexed my fingers to demonstrate.

“Fine, you can go. I think the principal wants you in his office though.” She nodded at the open door.

Mr Piccolo nodded at an empty chair so I sat. He was busy writing something, so I didn’t interrupt. After a few minutes Mr Giles appeared in the doorway. He gave me a worried look to which I returned a shrug.

“Mr Giles,” Principal Piccolo said without looking up. “Your first day too, I believe.”

“Er ye... we... erm, yes, yes it is.”

“Perhaps you’d care to explain why you asked Miss Pinkstone to fetch Miss Geller here from class?”

“Miss, er p, p, p...?”

“Pinkstone. Laurel.”

“Oh, er Laurel. Er, yes, Laurel.”

The principal looked up. There wasn’t a great deal of patience there.

“Oh, yes, yes, I see. Yes, er, I, er. It was a dance competition. Yes, that’s what it was.”

Way to be convincing, Stuart. I kept my face neutral, but I was cringing inside.

“A dance competition?”

“Yes, yes. A friend called me about it. The, the, er deadline for applications was three o’clock this afternoon, otherwise I wouldn’t have dreamed of interrupting Sarah’s, er Miss Geller’s, lesson. I was hoping she could call her parents and get,” what was it you said about that word, Stuart? “verbal permission. It’s er, it’s too late now, of course.”

“You thought it appropriate to interrupt a class because of a dancing competition?”

“A rare and exceptional opportunity, I, I assure you. Miss Geller has a remarkable talent. You must have heard about Miss Ephemeris’s trials last week?”

“I heard something, yes. That was Mitchel though, wasn’t it?”

“Yes but...”

I shook my head gently.

“Yes, but Sarah is better. It would be a travesty to waste a talent like hers.”

The principal looked my way and cocked an eyebrow.

It took a moment. “You want me to show you? Here? And now?”

“Is there a reason why not?”

“No music, and soft carpets. Not ideal conditions. We could go to the gym.”

“Where I believe Miss Ephemeris is teaching a class. However, perhaps you could demonstrate. A sort of masterclass if you’re as good as Mr Giles thinks.”

“Alright.” I stood up.

“Your hand not going to be a distraction?”

“No. Nurse made it all better.” I showed him my hand, quickly so he didn’t have time to wonder where the blisters had gone.

Miss Ephemeris was taking a class through some contemporary dance moves.

“Miss Geller. Didn’t we already do our thing for the day?”

“Yes, but Principal Piccolo wanted a demonstration, if that’s alright.”

“I should think so. Alright class get comfortable against that wall. Same as earlier, Sarah?”

I looked at Stuart who leaned in and whispered something in the dance teacher’s ear.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

He nodded and said to me, “You’ll have a couple of bars to settle into the rhythm, then things’ll get, er, busy.”

I was going to have fun with him over the g word later, but for now. I settled into my usual feet in fourth position, arms by my side.

The music started, and as usual it flowed into me and out through my limbs. Two bars of simple timing then it launched into the most complex beat I’d heard, rapid and wild like a North Sea storm. Somehow my body pre-empted what was coming and I allowed the music to lead me into a wild cavort through the maelstrom of untamed music. There were times when it invited me into giant leaping, twisting somersaults, high kicks, manoeuvres I didn’t even have words to describe. It lasted five frantic minutes and left me sucking in a half dozen deep breaths at the end as I settled back into my original starting position.

Principal Piccolo and the entire class stood or sat mouths gaping. Even Miss Ephemeris looked shocked. I was grinning wildly with delight over at Mr Giles who wore a tight smile of supreme satisfaction.

I had a moderate level brain fart when posting chapter 6 and ended up putting 2 copies of it on both the home page and my stories page. I have the impression it caused a few headaches to sort out, and from the number of hits this week (400 compared to last weeks 800+) I'm wondering if some people may have missed it. If that's the case, here's a direct link to chapter 6. If you haven't read it, have a go before moving on to this week's offerings, and as always, please tip your waitress, I, I, er, I mean leave a comment.

Chapter 7

I was invited to rejoin my media studies class for the last half hour, where I managed to borrow some notes from a girl in the class who hadn’t yet been infected by the poison Clarissa was so evidently spreading about the school. At the end of the lesson, I’d apologised to Miss Vander for the disruption. She’d not been that concerned, her attention being directed more towards the lads in the class, most of whom were drooling over her. I mean, yeah, she was stunningly beautiful, I had to admit, with a fantastic body for a woman her age, but still, that age had to be twice that of anyone else in the room, so quite what had the lads motors running, I couldn’t say.

I retreated to the library and made efforts to complete my media studies notes while waiting for the rest of the Scooby Gang to assemble. That’s what Miss Ephemeris had called us, wasn’t it? Nick was the last to arrive, largely because he’d been part of the group of lads who’d stayed behind to talk to Miss Varder.

Yeah, I could have borrowed Nick’s lesson notes, but firstly, they were generally about as comprehensive as Clarissa’s and secondly, I didn’t think any of the lads were taking much in the way of notes in media studies these days. Something weird was going on there, but life seemed full enough without adding that sort of complication to it all.

Miss Ephemeris came over to me as soon as she arrived. “Sorry, I’m interrupting,” she said, sitting next to me.

“It’s alright, I was going to do this when I got home anyway.” I closed the notes, glancing over at Stuart to see if he’d react to my deliberate use of the g word, but he was still floating in the clouds over my performance.

“That really was exceptional this afternoon. I thought I was pushing you at lunchtime, but I never imagined you’d have that degree of talent. I mean I remember you at the try-outs…”

“Yeah, different body. This one is made for that stuff. I don’t have much upper body strength, but I don’t need it for that sort of dancing. I’m lighter too, and way more bendy, so with all that added power in my legs, I can do amazing things.”

“You could be a professional with moves like that, you realise that don’t you?”

“Yeah, except I think life has other plans for me, wouldn’t you say?”

“I would, yes, but don’t give up on the dream altogether. I mean how many impossible things have happened to you in the last couple of days?”

I gave her a weak smile. I mean yeah, but how many of them had been on someone else’s agenda.

Yet again, how many had worked out in my favour? I looked at my hand.

“Mr Giles, does the slayer usually have enhanced powers of healing?”

“Stuart please, Sarah. I think when it’s just us, we can work on a first name basis. To answer your question, the slayer legend does talk of a notable resilience and capacity for recuperation.”

“He means yes,” Miss Ephemeris said. “And I’m Jen. Just Jen.”

“I appreciate the translation Jen, but I’ve been taking a crash course in Gilesian and I’m getting pretty good at it.”

“Har har, laugh it up, er, fuzzy. You’re still using that dreadful word.”

The room collapsed into snickers. All except Nick astonishingly, but then he had this faraway look of someone lost to us all. There wasn’t much I could do for him, and I had a librarian to make fun of.

“So are you,” I said. “At least twice since your first objection. Oh, and if you’re going to try using pop culture references, try and get them right.”

“Yeah,” said Laurel a little breathlessly, “he was talking to a Wookie, not a Muppet.”

“What?”

“Increase in whatage,” I said to Miss Ephemeris. “Sure sign of a short circuit somewhere.”

“Anyway,” Jen said with a gentle smile, “I suppose what we should be doing is trying to think of an idea how we can avoid confusing the Muggles.”

“What?” Rupert said.

“I see what you mean.” Jen put a hand on my arm. “If we have another incursion in the school, how can we deal with it without digging Sarah or any of the rest of us into a deeper hole.”

“I thought we dug ourselves out of it quite successfully this afternoon,” Stuart said.

“Yes, it was a clever idea, but it’s a one-off excuse, like attending your grandmother’s funeral.”

“Most people have two grandmothers,” Laurel said.

“Who we’d prefer to remain alive as long as possible,” Jen said, “in our world of made up excuses as much as in real life.”

“How come so many came through?” I asked. “I thought the whole point of untethering the portal was to make it harder for the nasties to find it.”

“Yes, that’s a good point. I was thinking about that while you were finishing your lessons, and I was reminded of a journal entry from about three hundred and sixty years ago. The time of the plague in London. The, er, slayer at the time was evacuated from the city by, er, her parents so an attempt was made to prevent the arrival of any vampires by, er, by untethering the portal. As with ours, it began jumping from one convergence to another, which seemed to fix the problem, at least temporarily, until it – the portal I mean – latched onto a particularly strong convergence of ley lines near, er, Pudding Lane.”

“Are you trying to say vampires started the Great Fire of London?” Jen asked.

“Not exactly, no. The, er warlock who performed the untethering did. The number of creatures that came through the portal would have overrun the city, and, and in time the country, then the world. He did the only thing he could, which was to burn them. He himself was badly burned in the fire. The, er, journal entry was his last.

“It’s often used as an example of the necessity for drastic measures when the slayer isn’t available, so a warning to make sure she remains so, and to have contingency plans, but the mention of a particularly strong convergence set me wondering. I looked into it and there were a great many ley lines pinned between the Tower of London and, er St Paul’s Cathedral – the old cathedral of course; the one that was destroyed in the Great Fire – and they formed an alarmingly strong convergence near the, er, church of St Dunstan in the East.”

“Is there ever going to be a point to this?” Jen asked.

“Don’t you see? The portal latched onto the place and creatures started pouring through. Vampires, greshnicks and worse...”

“There are worse than greshnicks?”

“Oh yes, much worse, but that’s not the point...”

“It’s kind of a point...”

“Yes, but the thing is they were waiting. It’s as though they are drawn to very strong convergences on their side, so when a portal latches into place, they’re waiting to come through.”

“So how does that help us?” Laurel asked.

“Well, a big problem we’ve not been able to solve in the past is that we’ve never know where a portal would settle until it’s landed. And then we’ve been too busy dealing with what’s coming through to do anything about it. If we can say for certain that it’s going to settle here, we can set up disruption measures which should inhibit the monsters from infiltrating.”

“Meaning no more vampires and no more need for a me?”

“I doubt it will be so simple. If the portal can’t latch here, it will most likely keep jumping to lesser convergences, so cemeteries and the like a-and a need to patrol.”

“It’s also likely that the major convergence will attract worse things which may eventually find a way to break your measures,” Jen said thoughtfully, “but all that aside, it’s quite a brilliant idea.”

“Well, thank you, I, I do try and...”

“Let’s pull it off first. What do you need to make it happen?”

“I, I, I, what?”

“Laurel and I can help with the magic and the tech if you like, and you have to agree, it’ll be stronger with three of us.”

“Yes, I suppose. I was thinking, something like this.” He picked a heavy tome off a nearby table. Laurel and Jen approached.

“Is that Necronomicon?”

“A rare eighth century copy, yes. It’s another like this that’s used to correct transcription errors in all the modern versions. This has a few additional annotations. See here.”

I’d been warned off meddling with magic, so I settled next to the unresponsive Nick.

“Are you okay?”

“Miss Vander,” he sighed. “Did I say, she’s invited me round to study later.”

“Since when have you been interested in extra study sessions?”

“Since Miss Vander. You wouldn’t understand. You’re not a guy anymore.”

“Hey, do you guys need me? I think Nick could do with some help getting home.”

“Not home. Miss Vander...”

“I think that should be alright,” Jen said, “don’t you think, Stuart. I mean we could push the portal out to the cemetery west of here while we set up the wards, that way we won’t be at risk of being disturbed.”

“Yes, yes, that sounds, er...”

“It’s not that far from Nick’s house. I could patrol there after I’ve dropped him off home.”

“Good,” Stuart said. “We, we probably won’t get started for another couple of hours yet. I’ll, er, I’ll text you when we’re about to begin.”

“And nothing’s going to come creeping out of the basement between now and then?”

“What? No, er, no it shouldn’t. The, er, portal’s drifting at present and nothing should try coming through till after dark, er...”

“By which time we’ll have started and it’ll be out by you.”

“Okay, have fun with your magic tricks.” I hauled on Nick’s arm, just about managing to heave him upright.

#

Steering Nick home turned out to be more of a challenging than anticipated. He kept veering off course, and, strong as I was, I now had only half his body mass, which meant he ended up dragging me with him.

We eventually found ourselves outside a creepy looking house in a neighbourhood I didn’t even know existed. He pressed the doorbell and a sort of high pitched buzzing came from within.

A few seconds later, the door opened a crack and Miss Vander’s face appeared in the gap.

“Nicholas,” she said sounding a little surprised. Mind you, so was I. No-one called him Nicholas who wanted to see the next morning’s sunrise, and yet my friend stood there in a dreamy stupor.

“You’re early,” she continued. “I haven’t quite finished my tea. Oh, and you brought a friend.” This last was a lot less friendly.

“Oh, it’s alright. She used to be a guy.”

She bored into me with dark shining eyes. “Did she now. Just wait there a while and give me a chance to tidy up.” She closed the door on us, which was rude, except Nick didn’t seem to care. He let out a heartfelt sigh and leaned his head against the door.

“Nick, what are we doing here?”

“Miss Vander invited me round for extra tuition.”

“Yeah, but since when did you care about...”

He wasn’t listening. Instead, he took in a deep breath and let out another deep, soulful sigh.

I sniffed. There was definitely a funky smell in the air. Something that reminded me of the insect house at the zoo. I pulled a tissue out of my bag – one of the apparent girly essentials Mum had put in there. Like a galactic hitchhiker without his towel is a girl without a packet of tissues, apparently. I twisted it and tore it in two, sticking a piece up each of his nostrils.

“Hey!” he said and tried to pull them out. Fortunately, I needed strength rather than body mass to stop him from doing so.

“Leave them there, and don’t breathe so deep.”

He did so and his eyes cleared.

“What...?”

“Miss Vander?”

“Oh, hell no! What did you bring me here for?”

“Erm...”

I didn’t have a chance to respond because the door opened. Miss Vander’s eyes narrowed at the sight of Nick’s clogged up nose.

“Well, aren’t you the clever one,” she sneered at me. “It’s not going to help though”

Something huge and glistening appeared above her head and a squirt of white goo flew from it, enveloping Nick. Long spindly legs followed it, picking him up and spinning him as the goo stretched out into strands and wrapped around his body.

I kicked off my sheaths and jump at her. I didn’t know how much trouble I was going to get in for attacking a teacher, but I had a feeling these would be considered extenuating circumstances. I caught her with a slash across her right eye, which oozed black, the skin of her face hanging loose to reveal a glistening hard carapace beneath.

She backed into the house, carrying a mummified Nick with her. Spare legs tore at her skin and clothes ripping them into shreds and revealing... well nothing to improve my opinion of her at any rate.

Insectoid? No, count the legs. There were two more where her arms had been, and that large, black glistening something behind her turned out to be a distended abdomen, complete with red hourglass figure on it. The right eye was a sticky mess, but now as the skin of her face dropped away, I could see she had seven more available to her. Her mouth opened to reveal two large, dark fangs, dripping with something I was pretty sure I didn’t want in my blood stream. She lunged at me.

It seemed we were beyond the point of negotiation. I dived under her, bringing my feet up to slice through her abdomen. She let out a squeal of pain and outrage and leapt, spinning out of my reach.

The ceiling to the downstairs was missing. In fact, the entire inside of the house was a hollow shell all the way up to the roof joists. Thick web covered every corner with cocoons stuck to the walls everywhere. Faces I recognised looked out from them, relaxed in some eerily unnatural peacefully rapturous expressions.

No time for distractions. My Spidey sense tingled – maybe not an appropriate term given the circumstances – and I leapt sideways, spinning and twisting to avoid what I was sure would be sticky strands of web, just as the large bulk of whatever the hell Miss Vander currently was lunged into the space I’d occupied.

I landed and reversed my jump, embedding both my heels into its thorax(?) Biology not my thing really. Not into Latin, so never sure of all the names for different bits of creepy crawlies.

This wasn’t a vampire though, so no nice neat and tidy turning to dust. My heels stuck into the back of the creature, which started thrashing about with me on its back.

I waited for the right moment then hauled my feet back and out, tearing through the thick chitin and covering myself with more disgusting black ichor.

I landed on my feet as the monster spun around impossibly fast. Legs splayed, maw held wide with venom dripping from its fangs, it lunged at me.

I knew there was a web behind me, so this was going to be something of a hail Mary. I jumped back onto it, feeling it stick to my clothes. It stretched and sprang me back towards the gaping jaws. Somehow I managed to slip out of my cardigan, which meant I was moving at high speed when we came together.

It was fast, but I was faster, moving my feet just enough to avoid going into its mouth, and hitting it squarely between the eyes – all of them.

Apparently, it’s brain was still where you’d expect it to be. I hit it with an alternate stomping action, which punched a half dozen holes in its head. Enough that it dropped to the ground and lay still.

I was covered in the most unspeakable filth from head to toe, but cocooned bodies all around me were beginning to squirm and voices call out with increasing degrees of urgency.

I wandered through to what might have been the kitchen and found a block of knives in the debris. Taking the largest and sharpest of them, I started sawing my way through webbing. I had to tell the numpties to be still a lot, or risk me slicing them by accident. Most of them ran off as soon as they were free without so much as a thank you. The largest of them, a rugby prop forward known to everyone as Big Al or Big L or something like that, landed awkwardly and paused to rub his bruises.

“What the fuck happened to you?” he asked with a sneer. Not the cleverest thing to say to the girl with the twelve-inch carving knife.

“Don’t you like it? It’s a new look. I call it douche d'araignée.”

“Douche is right.” He snorted and ran off. Leaving me with Nick who was just coming round.

I was a little gentler cutting him down.

“What happened?” he asked as I helped him up.

“Miss Vander,” I said. “Gives a different meaning to the term ‘black widow,’ doesn’t it.

He shuddered. “I don’t remember much.”

“No, I think she had some sort of pheromone thing going. Hence the nose plugs.” I pointed at his nose. He pulled the tissue from it looking a little confused.

I went to where my cardigan still hung from a thick strand of webbing and tried to unstick it. No great deal of luck, so I cut it free instead.

“Any chance I can have a shower round at yours?” I asked.

“I should think so. I don’t have any clothes that’ll fit you now though.”

“That’s okay. I have spares.”

“Why? Were you thinking something like this might happen?”

“No. Mum was worried I might change my mind about the shortness of my skirt.”

“What’s wrong with the shortness of your skirt.”

“Don’t you remember? I had Warren Myers on the floor in maths trying to catch a glimpse of my girl bits.”

“Your… Oh. Never mind.”

I found matches, candles and a gas cooker in the remains of the kitchen. The gas had been turned off at the mains, but that was easy enough to fix. I left the gas pipes leaking with a couple of lit candles scattered about the large open space.

Nicks house was another squelchy, sticky ten minutes’ walk away. The explosion happened when we were halfway there.

“Was that such a good idea?” he asked as we paused to watch the pyrotechnics.

“What? We should have left the police to puzzle over why there was a twelve-foot spider in the gutted shell of a house? Then when all, or even some, of those eggs had hatched, would it have been fair to see which of them won?”

“Eggs?”

“She had hundreds in her abdomen. I think that’s why she captured so many of you.”

His parents were out – usual for his family – so he showed me into the bathroom and left me with a towel and the various soaps and shampoos his mum used.

My underwear was still useable, though I’d have preferred a change. When I undressed, I spotted the little thread which reminded me that I hadn’t checked things at lunchtime. It came out blood free as expected.

I took my skirt and tee-shirt into the shower with me, along with my tights. It took me twenty minutes to scrape off the filth and get it out of my hair, by which time my clothes had soaked enough to have lost most of the stain. I could hope the washing machine would do the rest.

I dried off and dressed in my summer dress. It was longer than the skirt, but loose enough that it wouldn’t interfere with my fighting. Not much, I hoped.

Nick had left a hair dryer for me in his parent’s room. Once I was done with that, I headed downstairs where I found him cleaning my shoes. It can’t have been a pleasant job, but he’d done it really well.

“You didn’t have to…” I started.

“I know, but it felt like the least I could do since you kept me from becoming spider food.” He opened the freezer and pulled out my cardigan. The web strand had frozen stiff and peeled off easily enough. “Trick Mum uses with bubble gum. I figured it was worth a try.”

I took the cardigan from him and shook it. It looked relatively clean. I slipped it on over my dress.

“Can I borrow your notes from media studies? I don’t remember much of it.”

“Much?”

“Okay, any of it.”

“I missed half the lesson myself, so I’m copying up too. I’ll let you have them tomorrow when I’m done. I doubt there’ll be much rush. I mean Miss Vander won’t be coming back.”

“True.” He dug out a carrier back for my wet things.

“Well,” I looked out the window at the encroaching dusk, “I guess I should be going.”

“Yeah. Thanks. Er…”

“Not a word. To anyone. Like it didn’t happen.”

“You sure?”

“I may have to discuss it with Stuart, but I’ll try to keep your name out of it.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

The cemetery was five minutes away. I reached the gates just as my phone buzzed. “Starting now,” it read.

“Whenever you’re ready,” I replied. “I’m at the cemetery.”

I sat on a tombstone and slipped off my protective sheaths.

“What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this,” a voice said from behind me.

“Probably the same as you, David,” I said without turning. I had a warm feeling inside me which I rather liked. So, what if he was a guy and I used to be? I wasn’t anymore, so this had to be okay, didn’t it?

“You looking for somewhere to sleep too?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not why you’re here.”

“So, tell me about you?”

“A friend said there was going to be a portal opening here tonight, so I’m here to make sure that anything that comes through doesn’t makes it any further.”

“And you think I have a friend like that?”

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Mmn, can’t do that.”

I looked over my shoulder at his heavy brooding brow, his broad shoulders, his mmmnn, nice.

“So, I’m right then?” I asked with a coquettish smile.

“Maybe a little. More that my friend told me you’d be here tonight.”

“You thought you’d be my knight in shining armour?”

“Well, I already tried being your damsel in distress, and I’m not sure that worked out so well for me. I mean I know you can handle yourself – I’ve seen you in action – so I thought at the very least I’d watch and see if I could pick up any tips.”

“And if it looked like I was losing ground, you’d be there ready to step in and save the day.”

“Something like that, maybe.”

“That’s pretty cold blooded you know.”

“What can I say. You’re something special to watch.”

I caught sight of a shimmering in the air. “Looks like the spectator sport is about to begin.” I stood up and tried a few moves to limber up.

The first thing through was a greshnick. So was the second and the third. What followed them was new. About twice the height with horns and a permanent scowl.

“You know what, I’m not proud,” I called out. “You can share if you like.”

“Er, okay.”

“The big ones have a weak point at the base of the spine. Hit that and you have a second or two to finish the job. Take off their head or stick them in the heart and they turn to dust like any other vampire. The really big one is new, so try stuff, but don’t let any of them grab you by the arms or legs. I’m guessing they’re like to pull bits off.”

“Okay. So individually or do you want to team up?”

“I’m good for teamwork, but we should try to get a feeling for each other’s fighting style before we try anything fancy.”

“Okay. What’s the plan?”

“Take out the easy ones first then see what can be done with butt-ugly there.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He launched himself with an animal growl at the group of greshnicks, slashing out with what looked like clawed hands as he bounded through them. They all turned in his direction, leaving their backs exposed. A single flying kick from me with legs widely, and somewhat inelegantly spread stabbed two of them in the back from where I was able to launch myself in the air and scissor kick the third in a way that separated its head from its thick shoulders.

David had a stake in each hand and buried them into the backs of each of the crippled horrors.

These were a little smaller than the first one I’d face, but I hadn’t expected to dispatch them quite so quickly.

The real challenge remained though, standing with its arms raised, roaring its rage at the sky. I probably came up to its waist, David maybe as high as its navel. Its skin was thick and leathery to the point where I really doubted if my heels would make it through.

This was a time when having access to Stuart’s bestiary would have been useful.

I withdrew a little, David backing off beside me.

“Any ideas?”

“In my experience, a demon’s strength is often in its horns.”

“Okay, any idea how we get up there?”

“Two options. We could try and bring it down to our level.”

I looked at its cloven hooves and wondered what, if anything, would be the equivalent to an Achilles tendon. Also, just how would either of us get through that skin?

“Option two?”

“I launch you up there.”

“If either of us do it wrong, you end up with my spike heels through your hands.”

“Best we do it right then.”

“What do I do when I’m up there?”

“Whatever feels right. I’ll try to keep it distracted and deal with anything else that comes through.”

Shit, that was right. The portal was still open and sparkling. Nothing to stop more of these fuckers coming through.

“Let’s do it.”

It was all the encouragement he needed. He ran forward and turned to face me. Butt-ugly saw his chance to even the playing field a little and aimed an attack at him from behind. I had to go now if David were to have any chance at all.

I ran at him, planting the ball of my foot in his cupped hands. He stood, launching me up and behind him. I shifted my balance to alter his aim until I was heading for the incoming horns, reaching out and grabbing the right-hand one as it came in range, wrapping my body around the left one, bringing all my small weight to bear and twisting the massive head just enough that its attack landed just to the left of where David had been standing.

Stage left. The creature’s right, but that would mean changing your perspective to see from the monster’s point of view. Yeah, it’s confusing, I know. Deal with it, I’m busy.

David was back on his feet, spinning and burying his two stakes into the creature’s neck.

At least trying to. The skin was too thick. The hardwood bounced off.

I tucked myself between the horns, bracing my shoulders against the right horn and locking my feet against the other. I brought all my strength to bear, forcing the horns apart, screaming at the top of my lungs as my sinews strained against the whatever was holding the horns in place. Best effort towards the tips gave better leverage, and near the limit of my effort, something gave.

It wasn’t me.

The left horn snapped at its midpoint. The monster screamed as radiant energy tore from the split. It felt like a vulnerability. I twisted around and jammed a heel down into the opened core of the horn, causing the creature’s scream to double in volume. It fell to its knees with me twisting against the damaged horn, and pulling it down to the ground, body twisted, face upwards.

“This is where an axe would come in handy,” I yelled.

“There’s always this,” David called back, the broken piece of the monster’s horn in both hands as he leapt and brought the sharp end down into his target’s eye.

Both the demon and its scream diminished as light poured out of its wounds. David pulled his horn and stabbed it in the other eye. We hung on while the thing shrunk then, when it was down to about two thirds its original size, I wrenched at the remaining horn, tearing it off at the root. The wound was blindingly bright and brought about a renewed scream from the creature until I stabbed the sharp end into the soft, shinning wound. It shrank rapidly into a gurgling nothingness, leaving just one and a half horns between us.

I’ll say this for these monster, with the exception of a rather revolting giant spider lady, they tidied themselves up nicely once they were killed.

A subsonic growl had us looking up together where a couple more greshnicks had just emerged from the portal. The demon horns weren’t well balanced, but we both threw them and accurately enough that they both sunk into their targets, turning them to dust.

We reclaimed our weapons and turned to face the sparkle which indicated where the portal stood.

“Mine’s bigger than yours,” I said.

He laughed. “I’m told size doesn’t matter.”

“Says the guy with the smaller one.”

“You are such a conundrum.”

“In what way?”

“You are such a mixture of innocence and sophistication, of maturity and childishness. I have no idea what to expect from you next.”

“Well, that kind of depends on what comes through the portal next. Personally, I’d just like to go home and get some rest.”

“Five greshnick’s and a whatever that thing was probably count as good for a random incursion.”

“Doesn’t necessarily mean that’s all we’ll get.

‘We wouldn’t have beaten that whatever it was without your input. You probably deserve the bigger prize.”

“There you go, being all surprising again. It took a ton of courage jumping on that thing’s head, and a lot more strength than I could have brought to bear to break that horn the way you did. I’ll keep this one, thanks. I can show it off and say, ‘look what the slayer can do.’”

“Suit yourself. Don’t say I didn’t make the offer, and guess what?”

“Yours is still bigger than mine.”

“Don’t you forget it.”

My phone buzzed.

“Wards in place, dropping the push. Confirm all well with you?”

“All threats neutralised,” I typed. “Sparkly portal has...” the sparks faded to nothing, “stopped sparklying.” I pressed send.

“Excellent job. We’ll meet at break tomorrow. Get some rest, you earned it.”

You have no idea how much.

“May be some alarming news about Miss Vander. Tell you what I know tomorrow.” There, something to disturb his night’s sleep.

“Walk me home?” I asked David.

“Really? If you can take out something like that,” he waved his half horn by way of indicating what, “what could possibly be bothering you?”

“Oh, just thinking how much less enjoyable it’d be on my own.”

“Well, since you put it like that.”

We walked for a while in silence.

‘I like your dress,” he said at last.

“Thanks, it’s not ideal for fighting.”

“What happened to your fighting gear.”

“Oh, I got spider goo all over it.”

“That sounds like a story.”

“Maybe for another time.”

“Sure. So, what should we talk about instead?”

“Maybe we could just not.” I leaned against his side, sliding an arm around his waist.

“Er...”

I recoiled. “Sorry, I thought. Oh shit, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not... Look, can we just... you know, slower?”

“Yeah. I've heard relationships based on intense experiences never work.”

“Is that a film quote”

“Maybe.”

“You’re not expecting me to give the response, are you?”

“Too much to hope for?”

“Definitely. Please, let’s take it slow for now. There’s something you need to know about me first.”

“Okay, so tell me.”

“Not yet. When the time is right. Will you trust me on this?”

“Sure. I mean, I guess I could maybe do with a bit more practice being a girl anyway.”

“From where I’m standing you don’t need any practice.”

“You don’t mind that I used to be a guy?”

“I’m not sure you ever were.”

“I’m sorry? I thought I already told you I was.”

“Yes, I know what you said, but from the way you speak, you don’t give the impression you ever fit as a guy.”

“What difference does that make? I mean that’s the way I was born.”

“And this was the way you were remade. Are you saying you should change back because this isn’t the way you were born?”

“Well, no, but...”

“So, you should stay the way you are because you feel better this way.”

“Well yes, but...”

“So, if you feel better this way, then your mind or soul, or whatever part you consider to be the central you, fits this body better than the one you were born with. And if that’s the case, then surely the actual genuine you always was a girl even though you were born a boy. At least physically.”

“You’re trying to confuse things.”

“Quite the opposite really, but if it makes you feel any better, ask your question again.”

“You don’t mind that I used to be a guy?”

“No, because all I can see is the female you. You are perfect exactly as you are, and if you were ever any different, I’m glad you found a way to fix yourself.

“Anyway, we’re here. That is your house, isn’t it?”

“No, I think we have to walk around the block one more time before we get here – there, I mean.”

“Sarah, you are wonderful, and I’m already looking forward to the next time we meet, but you should go in before your parents get too worried.”

I could see Dad pacing through the living room window. I held up the demon horns in my hand. Even at two thirds original size, it was pretty immense.

He took it from me and tucked it behind our water butt. “It’ll be safe there till tomorrow.”

“If you say so. Thanks for tonight.”

“Yeah, likewise.”

He vanished into the shadows, while I turned towards the light.

#

I didn’t quite get myself grounded. It took me explaining how Nick hadn’t been well and how I’d taken him home and stayed with him till he was better to do it. That and a phone call. Can you imagine, my parents calling his to confirm I wasn’t lying? At my age!?

Anyway, I was sent to bed without any dinner, which bothered me since between the spider lady and the twelve foot demon, I’d burnt a lot of calories.

Anyway, I changed into my night things and finished copying the notes I’d borrowed. Fortunately, my bag had been outside while I fought Miss Vander, so it and its contents had survived without being covered in goop, and as already mentioned, fighting vampires and demons had thus far proven a lot less messy.

I’d finished making notes to fill the space between the first forty minutes and the last twenty-five of then lesson and was reading through the whole lot to make sure it made sense, when a light tap on the door heralded the arrival of my late-night nagging.

I was filled with forgiveness and remorse the instant I saw the tray in her hands.

Lasagne doesn’t suffer much from being reheated in the microwave, and pasta was soooo very what I needed. I did have to force myself to slow down in order to keep my nightdress spotlessly white, and to keep a conversation going between bites, but it was worth it.

“I noticed you’d changed,” she said, the short sentence conveying all the unspoken questions behind it.

“Someone spilt stuff all over my other outfit,” I said. True enough. The someone being Miss Vander and the stuff also being Miss Vander. “It turned out taking spare clothing was a good idea after all.”

“You didn’t feel objectified in any way?”

“Well, Warren Myers tried to look up my skirt, but that’s something he does to all the girls who let him near.”

“What did you do?”

“Made some snarky comment about how long it was taking him to pick up his pencil, then went and sat with the girls next lesson.”

“Oh?” Yes, that was enough to convey the next question.

“Yes, I did sit with Clarissa Cooper, only she wouldn’t stop talking, even after the teacher’s third warning, so we got kicked out of class.”

“Oh?” Yet another eloquent syllable which prompted more explanation, how I’d shown I was trying to work so had been let off with a verbal warning, and how I’d burned my bridges with Clarissa and possibly every girl in school possessing the least hint of cool.

“Oh.”

No question there, which provided me with an opportunity to get ahead with my eating.

“Anything else you want to mention?”

Chances were Principal Piccolo would have wanted a conversation after the afternoon event, so I gave her the PG version of what took place. Called out of class to talk to another staff member – no need to say who – heard noise in basement, went to investigate, burnt hand on pipe. Mention of dance competition and impromptu demonstration.

The relaxation of muscles around her eyes suggested I’d covered all the bases. I added a minor embellishment that I’d been given after school detentions for the rest of the week. Unusual for sixth form, but an example had to be made for going out of bounds.

It’d give me time to train with Stuart if nothing else. More likely, it would mean I could deal with any backlog of nasties at the hexed portal, and maybe read through bits of his bestiary.

“Don’t forget to brush your teeth again, dear.” She took the tray. “What about the erm...”

“False alarm.” Was this another girl superpower or had I always been able to read Mum like that? We certainly hadn’t spoken as much when I was Mitchel.

“Well, keep a couple with you for when it does start. I’ve booked you in with the gynaecologist on Thursday morning. Your dad’ll take us into town first thing, then we can bus back, after a little retail therapy, of course. Now, where’s your skirt and tee-shirt from this morning?”

I lifted the bag of damp clothes to her on a free finger then headed off to brush my teeth again.

Chapter 8

I hadn’t noticed the summer dress causing much hindrance to my fighting style, and I had several in a similar style. I put on a different one and packed a short skirt and tee-shirt combo as alternatives. Mum gave a small smile of approval. I mean the hemline wasn’t that much lower, but it did cross that narrow dividing line on the parental scale between cuteness and indecency. The dress had puff sleeves and a ruffled skirt, which I think helped from the cuteness angle.

We chatted over breakfast about nothing much leaving me feeling closer to her than I ever remember.

I left early, collecting my demon horn on the way out. Even at two thirds original size it wasn’t possible to conceal it, so I carried it like it was some attempt at modern sculpture. Nobody gave me a second look when I arrived on campus. Partly because there weren’t that many other people about, and partly because, even after just one day, I was giving off weird girl vibes.

I headed straight for the library where I dumped the horn unceremoniously on the counter.

Stuart looked up from his never-ending task of putting books on the right shelves and did a double take.

“Good Lord,” he said, wandering over.

“It used to be bigger, but he started shrinking once I broke his other horn and jammed a heel in the soft bit.”

“Good Lord.”

“Yeah, think about half as big again and sitting on top of some overly muscled dude with thick leathery skin, maybe twelve feet tall.”

“Good Lord.”

“Is this taking over from, ‘what?’”

“What?”

“No. Okay, good to know. Like, maybe knowing a little more about these things might have been useful last night.”

“Yes, yes, I can imagine. How did you...?”

“I had a little help.”

“You, you involved a civilian?”

“He kind of involved himself, which was just as well since without him I wouldn’t have known where to start.”

“He, he who?”

“Might the word you’re looking for be heehaw?”

“What?”

“I don’t know, like donkey sounds or something?”

“No, no, who was this he?”

“Oh. His name is David Engel. I thought you might already know him.”

“No, no. I’m not familiar with...”

“Actually you might be,” Miss Ephemeris said appearing from the storeroom at the back. “You’ve heard of Der Schattenengel?”

“The Shadow Angel? Of course, but he disappeared about a hundred years ago. I-it is believed he was destroyed, although no-one ever claimed to have, er, ended him.”

“That’s because no-one did. Not in that way in any case.”

“Er, hello? New girl here. And how long have you been back there? Because if it’s all night then ew.”

“Well, the, the, er, last is none of your business. The rest, er Jen, perhaps you would care to...”

Jen? Ew!

“Sit down Sarah, this could take a while. Stuart, a fresh pot of tea perhaps?”

Stuart! Double ew!!

“You know vampires aren’t of this world.”

“Appearing through mystic one-way portals. Got that.”

“They’re not as they originally were either as far as we can tell. The, er, vampirism is sort of a disease. Somewhere between a virus and a parasite.”

“You know this from what, studying the dust?”

“No, we’ve captured a few before now. We suspected it may be a pathogen when we first noticed it being passed on to humans.”

“I’m sorry. A pathogen from a different universe and it can infect humans?”

“Yes, it seems unlikely, doesn’t it? Poses all sorts of questions we can’t answer at present.

“What we do know is it replicates a little like a virus, which seems to be how it can cross species. It enters a human cell – even a dead one – and replicates itself using genetic material from the host, which seems to make it more compatible to the host. After this it behaves more like a parasite, reanimating dead cells where necessary, changing behaviour, increasing strength and speed...”

“Length of canines...”

“Yes, that too.”

“So, are you telling me this thing brings people back from the dead.”

“Not necessarily and only after a fashion.”

“Sense. Making. Not.”

“The parasite alters the mental state. Resurrected vampires tend to be more like the portal vamps. Slow witted and driven by hunger. Living ones become... well the only word that really describes them is evil.

“They retain their intelligence but none of their humanity. They need to drink blood to survive, but they seem to thrive on causing misery.

“Der Schattenengel, the Shadow Angel, was a live human who turned vampire more than four hundred years ago. He destroyed life after life. His modus operandi was to select a female victim then sending her slowly mad by inflicting misery after misery on her. Killing her family, her friends, her lovers, her pets even, and bringing them back as mindless undead things.”

“Pets as well?”

“Not pets. The parasite only seems to affect humans in this world. Human relations were enough though. Then only when her mind was utterly broken would he turn her into a creature like himself.”

“If it’s a disease, then it can be cured though, can’t it?”

“Yes and no.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s only been in the last century or so that the medical science became sufficiently advanced that we even had a chance. We did find a way to destroy the parasite, but it didn’t result in a complete cure.

“Resurrected vampires went back to being dead bodies, generally aging fast enough that they turned into dust, much like the portal vampires.

“Living vampires didn’t seem to lose any of the physical changes brought on by the parasite. They remained essentially eternal with the teeth and the thirst for blood, also with their greater strength and speed, but their minds... Well, it’s difficult to know what happened to their minds.

“We captured Der Schattenengel and gave him the treatment. He was filled with a deep anguish that temporarily increased his strength beyond measure. In his despair, he destroyed our lab and everything in it, including all notes on how to make the formula. He almost destroyed our organisation.

“He escaped our captivity, and when we eventually rebuilt our strength and found him again, he was changed beyond recognition. We believe his humanity, for want of a better term, has been restored to him, that he now remembers and is revolted by all the horrendous things he has done. He stays apart from other people, still living in the shadows. He has resisted any attempt to contact him and seems to spend his existence – one can imagine you would hardly call it a life – seeking out and destroying the things that made him.”

“You think this David Engel is this shitting angel of yours? This shadow angel?”

“Der Schattenengel. We know he is. You are the first person he’s spoken to in the ninety plus years since we, er, treated him.”

“And the we in all this is...?”

“We refer to our self as the Paganologists. I know, it’s a dreadful name, but we’re kind of stuck with it. The organisation began in the nineteen thirties I suppose, mixing magic and technology. That’s kind of how we came up with such an advanced cure back in the days when penicillin had only just been invented. Our technology has come a long way since then, but the magical aspect that made the cure work, that we haven’t been able to recreate.

“There are a great many in the organisation who believe what we did to David was unconscionable, that for someone with the memories of all the atrocities he committed, the cure is too horrible a thing to endure. Others are still working on it because there are newly made live vampires all the time who haven’t yet done much to distress them.”

“When were you going to tell me any of this?”

“Well, as you can see, I did so as soon as I knew you’d encountered Mr Engel. Sarah, you’re so new to this, we had to be a little more sure of you before telling you more.”

“What about you, Stuart? Are you a part of these Pagan Technologists too?”

“No, no,” sometime in the middle of Miss Ephemeris’s monologue, Stuart had reappeared with a tray of tea things. He poured me a cup which tasted almost as good as Mum’s. “No,” he repeated, “I belong to a group known as the Seers.”

“You mean like those Greek women who could see the future?”

“Spelled the same, but neither I nor any in my order are, are either female or gifted with clairvoyance.

“I suspect, like Miss Ephemeris, the person or persons who first chose the name didn’t think things through adequately. We are seers in that we see a little further into the world and what is going on, especially in the realm of the mystical.”

“So, Lookers would be better?”

“Yes or w... whatever. The name is what it is and we’re, er, stuck with it. We are aware of the Paganologists, although I wasn’t familiar with this particular episode in their history, however our interests are aligned, and I can see many advantages to our collaboration at present.”

I’ll bet you can. Oh, ew. Bad imagination. Down. Older people having... doing... ew! It shouldn’t be allowed.

“Such as.” I glanced at the clock. The school day was due to start in about ten minutes.

“Well, Miss Ephemeris has kindly agreed to have her organisation’s, er, tech team digitise my bestiary of known portal creatures and turn it into an app. She says it should take a day or so, then if you encounter anything new, you point your phone’s camera at it, and it will give you a series of best guesses of what you’re looking at, along with a list of its strengths and weaknesses. Now won’t that be useful?”

“Yes, my jolly goodness it will be. Please don’t use that patronising tone.”

“We’ve also agreed to a sharing our arcane knowledge," Miss E interjected before Giles could recover enough to apologise. "Stuart has one of the most extensive private collections of arcana I’ve ever encountered, but there are a number of volumes I know we have that he doesn’t and vice versa, so we’re going to digitise those and make copies for each other. Laurel’s going to help with that when she gets here.

“I’m hopeful we’ll find some clues about the nature of the portals. Maybe find a way to close them or make them two way. If we can either shut them out or take the fight to them, it’ll be better than being stuck fighting the defensive all the time.

“There’s a good chance we can find something useful to do with this too,” she hefted the demon horn. “Can you describe what this came from a bit more?”

I went into as much detail as I could remember. Stuart opened the book to about two thirds of the way through. The drawing on the page looked a very close to the reality of the previous night.

“You did well to defeat this thing,” he said.

“I wouldn’t have known where to start without David. He put himself at considerable risk to give me a chance of beating it.”

“You seem to have developed a fondness for him,” Stuart said.

“You seem to have developed a fondness for Miss Ephemeris.” They both had the good grace to look embarrassed. “Shall we agree not to poke our noses where they don’t belong?”

“That would be as well,” Jen said, “but David isn’t a normal person. He’s four hundred years old and has three hundred years of atrocities in his past to deal with.”

“I know, I was listening. I’ll take that into account, but all the more reason why he has someone in his life who'll let him know he’s still worth caring about.”

“Well, perhaps you’re right. Just remember, we’re here if you need to talk to someone.”

“I appreciate that. I should be getting to registration. I suspect there’s going to be an assembly today.”

“Yes, something about Miss Vander. You said you’d explain today.”

“Yeah, turns out she was a giant black widow spider lady and had a bunch of guys from the college all wrapped up in cocoons ready to feed her offspring when they hatched. I killed her, released her captives then blew up her house to make sure all the little spiders were dead. Gotta go, see you later.”

#

There was an assembly, largely to impart the sad news that Miss Vander had been killed in a gas explosion the previous night. There had been some reports that she’d invited certain boys to her house for extra tuition and the police were interested in hearing from anyone who might know anything.

I caught Big L looking at me along with a number of other faces I remembered from the spider’s lair. Even Nick glanced across at me, but I kept my face passive and the moment passed.

Later, during break, Big Larry and the others ambushed me in the corridor outside the library.

“Did you do it?” Larry asked.

“Do what?” I asked.

“You know.”

“You can’t even say it, can you? Sexy pheromones from the spider lady entice you all to her lair where she wraps you up in cocoons to feed to her children, then this little girl half your weight – maybe a third yours Larry – comes along and beats the giant spider lady into sticky black goo.

“Never happened, 'cos I don’t want to end up in the funny farm. Might I suggest you adopt the same approach?”

“What do we say then? I mean they know we were invited.”

“Say you went, but the whole thing felt creepy when you got there. Funky smell, the place looked a mess. You had bad vibes so backed off and went home. They may ask if the funky smell was like gas, if one or two of you say maybe, then they’ll have an explanation they can believe.”

“But you actually did it, didn’t you?”

“If anyone asks me, ‘did I rescue a bunch of guys from a demon spider,” I shall deny it. I shall laugh and ask them what kind of fantasy world they live in.”

“What was that douche de aragney shit about then?”

“That was a joke of sorts. I was covered in spider guts and it felt as disgusting as I’m sure it looked. Now if anyone asks, I didn’t say any of that, so please go away and leave me alone.”

In the library I was little more forthcoming. Stuart couldn’t find anything in his bestiary about monster spiders, so I wrote out a new entry for him with as much as I could remember, including a piece of artwork that would have made my parents proud, had I still been five. Since it didn’t seem to have anything to do with the portals, it didn’t go in the bestiary.

The police did want a word with me because Nick said I’d been with him, so I told them my version of how Nick had seemed like he was on some kind of drug, then how creepy the house had been.

Miss Vander had seemed upset when she found out I’d come along, and I’d persuaded him to come away.

They asked me if I’d smelt gas so I told them my mum had an electric oven, but yeah, maybe it had smelled a bit like the chemistry lab. Overall I was quite pleased by my blonde ditz impression. It must have been convincing because they left me alone after a while, despite Clarissa trying to make trouble for me. According to her I was some kind of psychopath who needed watching. According to me she was jealous because I was a much better dancer than she was. According to the police we were a couple a vacuous girls who were in danger of wasting their time. The Miss Vander case was eventually deemed death by misadventure and life returned to normal for a week or so.

For a given value of normal that is. My after-school ‘detentions’ were spent in the basement with the wards temporarily withdrawn, dealing largely with vampires and greshnicks. Every now and then something new would turn up, like the giant flesh-eating worm that turned out to be sensitive to anything alkaline and was easily dispatched when Laurel providing me with a flask of concentrated sodium hydroxide solution and a pair of goggles. I ended up with chemical burns on my arms and legs and my dress in rags, but by the time I’d showered and changed into my spare outfit, my injuries had all but healed.

The visit to the gynaecologist was unpleasant but had the bonus of presenting no anomalies. It turned out I was one hundred percent sugar and spice.

Following the week of detentions, Stuart and Jen alternated giving me ‘evening training sessions’ that ended up with the school’s boiler room disappearing under more layers of dust. The creatures coming through had a sort of cannon fodder feel to them, like sticking a helmet out of the foxhole to check if the sniper was still there.

It made no sense though. I mean, if the portals were truly one way, how could bad guy central know what had happened to their soldiers.

I mentioned this to Jen who became very excited. The next time she oversaw my ‘training’, she and Laurel set up a series of intricately drawn patterns prior to dropping the wards.

I didn’t see anything different. The portal sparkled. A half dozen vampires appeared, followed by a particularly large greshnick. I’m not sure if the vampires were intended to distract me so the greshnick could make it through my defences, or if the greshnick was supposed to keep me occupied while the vampires escaped, but neither happened. The boiler room was surrounded by a sort of invisible, impenetrable barrier – impenetrable to portal spawn at least – so I was able to use it tactically to dispatch my enemies without putting myself at risk.

With all threats dispatched, I watched as Laurel and Jen completed whatever they’d started and we watched ghosts of the nasties recreate their battle with a me shaped shadow.”

“There,” Jen said as the first one burst into dust and a streak of blue sparkles disappeared back into the portal.

“Coming up,” I said as my shadow leapt into a rapidly spinning split that took out two vampires at once. Yet again, blue sparkles sped into a point of nothingness.

“When did you kill the big guy?” Jen asked.

“Three more vampires. Maybe forty-five seconds?”

“Can you be more accurate?”

“I can count you in from maybe five.”

“That’ll do.” She started preparing ingredients.

“Coming up.”

“Ready.”

I let me mind slip into the movements of the dance. “Five,” I said as my shadow did a reverse swallow dive over the lunging creature. “Four,” saw my heel stab it in the back, narrowly missing the target area. “Three,” shadow me jumped back through the barrier while the rapidly spinning monster collided with it, stunning itself momentarily. “Two,” as a graceful spinning twist took me over its head and landed both heels in its sensitive spot. “One and,” as I dived forward and took all the force on my arms. “Zero,” just as I pushed backwards and jammed both spikes into its back, one either side of the spine.

Jen completed her movements, casting a rainbow dusting into the air just as a larger blue sparkle emerged from the explosion of dust. It picked up some of the colours as it streaked home.

I had my phone out and videoing everything. I wasn’t sure anything would show up, but it had to be worth a try.

“Did you see the colour spread?” she asked Laurel, who gave a shrug and an uncertain shake of her head.

“Might this help?” I asked, reviewing my video. The colours were clear.

“Now why didn’t I think of that?” she said taking my phone from me and entering a rather involved and confusing discussion with Laurel.

There wasn’t much for me to do except watch the sparkles of the portal.

A sickly grey arm reached out of the midst of the glowing region. Only my super-fast reflexes kept me safe. The arm disappeared back inside.

“Er,” I said.

“Not right now, Sarah.”

“But shouldn’t the portal be warded?”

“Shit, you’re right.” Laurel and Jen interrupted their discussion to reset the wards. I waited till they were done.

“Neither of you saw that just now, did you?” I asked.

“Saw what?” As usual, Jen asking, Laurel nodding in nervous agreement.

“That arm that reached through the portal and took a swipe at me.”

“What arm, where?” Jen was looking around.

“It disappeared back into the portal.”

She looked at me as though I had two heads. I had a feel just to make sure, I mean weirder things had happened.

“I’d say impossible, but we just proved things can go back through.”

“Maybe they saw we’d figured it out and thought there was no sense hiding anymore,” I said.

“Which would suggest not only can they move both ways, but they can see through from their side,” Laurel added with a distraught look.

“Either way, we’ve just taken this to the next level,” Jen said. “I think we can expect a retaliation of sorts.”

“Worse than the swipey thing through the portal?”

“I think that was just a burst of anger. I need to call Stuart, have him keep an eye on the portal. You need to be ready to patrol.”

“I’d better head home then. Put the ‘rents in a good mood before disappearing off again.”

“Alright. Here’s your phone. I forwarded the video to myself. I think we can do something with it. Well done both of you.”

Laurel, it turned out, lived in my neighbourhood. We hadn’t spoken much – geeks verses jocks sort of thing I’m guessing – but she looked really scared.

“Keep me company?” I asked her.

Her face crumbled into a look of almost pathetic relief. “Sure,” she said.

“You know, I haven’t really thanked you for saving my neck back when I came on the witch’s forum.”

“Oh, I didn’t do anything. Just went to get help.”

“Without which I’d probably be a pimple on someone’s bum right now.”

“They’re not that powerful, those two. They like to pretend they are, but the goddess doesn’t show much kindness to selfish, vindictive creeps like them.”

“That probably means you’re really powerful, right. I mean by contrast...”

“That’s really sweet. You’re really sweet, you know? I mean I didn’t know what to think, you know with you being a guy once and everything.”

“You’re not into guys then?”

“My mother’s aren’t. I hate to think what would happen if I brought one home.”

“Kind of frog soup for supper?”

“Oh, no. They’re not... I mean, they don’t know about me and, and magic, you know. They’re just your average run of the mill lesbians. I think they want me to be one too.”

“So how did they, you know, have you. I mean, if it’s not rude to ask...”

“No, it’s fine. Mummy C used to work at a sperm bank. She was sacked for making an unauthorised withdrawal, so to speak, but by then I was already, you know...?”

“On the way?”

“Yeah.”

“So, Mummy C?”

“One of my mother’s is Caroline and the other Shannon, so Mummy C and Mummy S. It saves confusion most of the time.”

“Probably a good job you didn’t end up as a boy.”

“Oh, I’d have probably ended up as a girl regardless of what my body turned out to be, but Mummy C made sure. The sperm bank had one section where the X chromosome sperm were separated from the Y. Mum made sure she stole from the X.”

“Sounds kind of creepy, if you don’t mind me saying.”

“Oh, no, it totally is. I’m going to tell them one day, when I have the courage.”

“How’s that coming along?”

“What?”

“You seem scared most of the time.”

“Yeah, I... am, I guess. I don’t know how you do it. Not be scared, I mean.”

“I’m scared. Though I guess I’m also pretty confident in what I can do. That helps.”

“Yeah, it would. I can’t do anything.”

“Not true. You can do maths, and magic. You can do mathemagic. I mean that’s pretty amazing.”

“You say so, but...”

“No but. I mean Mr Giles and Miss Ephemeris can do all kinds of things, and I’m pretty sure you could do the same. You just need to believe in yourself a bit more.”

“That’s easy for you to say.”

“Not so much. I had to convince myself I could do this dance fighting thing. True, I was pretty kickass from the get go, but the first time it was me against a greshnick three times my size, I wouldn’t have minded a pep talk.”

“Besides, I’ve seen what you can do. I didn’t understand any of it, but you were holding your own with the others when you were setting up the wards and when you were doing that tracer thing this afternoon. The only thing they have that you don’t is a couple of extra decades, and that just means you’re cuter.”

“You think I look cute? I mean I could try and be gay if you like. I’ve had a lot of, you know, from watching my... mothers... Oh God!”

“And breathe. You are cute, but not really my thing. Apart from that, you could have any guy or girl you want pretty much.”

“Well, no, because, you. I mean, not that I was really serious, but you said...”

“I know what I said. Thing is, I’m kind of stuck on a guy. Older guy, you know? About four hundred years older.”

“Oh yeah, that angel character. What’s it like, you know, when, you know...?”

“Kind of soft and mushy inside, and your brain goes bleaugh, but you don’t really care because, like wow! And then you do care because you don’t want him to think you’re... and then like yikes! But then he’s really cool about it and you go all soft and mushy again, and... wow!”

“Wow!”

“It’ll happen to you too. I mean, you just have to be open to it. Have you thought about Nick, for instance.”

“Oh, no! Not him.”

“Why not? He’s really kind and thoughtful, underneath the... Yeah I guess that takes a bit of getting past.”

“No, it’s not that. I mean haven’t you noticed? He was always really, you know, around you, but then you changed into a girl and... Kind of friend zone, don’t you think?”

“You don’t mean he’s...? No!”

“Hello? Pretty well developed gaydar here. Kind of grew up with it.”

“He did want me to dress up as a girl to go to the Christmas dance.”

“And now that you are actually a girl?

“Yeah, not so much. Wow, I’d never have guessed.”

“I’m not sure he has yet either. Kind of weird feelings that translate into ideas for childish pranks. He’ll probably hate himself when he figures it out.”

“Because of his family.”

“Yep.”

“Tough break. Hey, we can go to the dance together if you like, if no-one else asks. You know, totally platonic, maybe scope out the guys when we get there.”

“My mums would be thrilled. But someone’s sure to ask you. I mean you’re gorgeous.”

“And also a psychopath according to Clarissa.”

“You shouldn’t listen to her, she’s just bitter and twisted.”

“I don’t, listen to her. I just wish nobody else did.”

“Oh, right.”

“Anyway, if we go together and some tall dark and handsome tetra centenarian happens to crash the party...”

“Nice dream. Anyway, this is me. I’d invite you in, but my mums would get totally the wrong idea.”

“Yeah, I should get home anyway. Pinkstone.” I pointed at a line of pink crystals embedded in the top of the garden wall.

“Rose quartz. Mum S is into crystals. Rose quartz is associated with love, compassion and healing. When they got married, neither of them wanted to keep their maiden name, so they chose a new one.”

“I like it. Love, compassion and healing. They kind of suit you.”

“I could totally go gay for you. I won’t though. I like that you’re a friend.”

“We could try for BFF. I never had one of those before.”

“Not even Nick?”

“Not after what you just said about him. Friend zone now, which I’m happier with, but a BFF needs to be another girl, don’t you think?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. Okay bestie. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Two minutes more had me home. It was still light outside so Dad had nothing to grumble about. Mum was halfway through cooking dinner, so I laid the table and she didn’t have anything to complain about either.

“Homework?” Dad asked.

I shook my head. “None, and I’m ahead on my reading.”

“Early night then.”

“Or maybe I could go round to a friend’s? You know the Pinkstones? Live a couple of streets over.”

“Is that the lesbian couple?” Mum asked, mouthing the unsavoury word.

“Yeah, but that’s not Laurel’s fault. She’s really nice and really clever.”

“I’m not having you in a relationship with someone like that,” Dad said.

“Neither of us is looking to be in a relationship, Dad. Besides, I mean, it’s not as if homosexuality is hereditary, is it?”

“What?”

“Kind of hard to have a child with someone of the same sex.”

“Not impossible though.”

“Not gay, Dad. Me that is. Which means now I am a girl, I’m not interested in girls that way. Laurel isn’t either. Girls make friends with each other all the time, that’s all this is.”

“Well, alright then. Home by ten.”

“Twelve.”

“Ten-thirty. No later.”

“Okay, sure.”

“That’s it? No more argument?”

“You’re my dad. I should listen to you. Looks like dinner’s ready.”

I ate slowly and sensibly and still beat Mum. There wasn’t much family chat tonight – probably surprised my dad by capitulating so quickly – so they let me excuse myself and disappear out the door without another word.

I called Stuart to let him know I was patrolling until ten-thirty, then followed his direction to a nearby church yard, where I unsheathed my weapons.

“Do I really make you feel like that?” a voice said from the shadows.

“You know it’s rude to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations.” I turned my burning face away from him.

“I’m sorry, I was nearby and couldn’t help it. I thought it was really sweet.”

“Yeah, well I have a confession to make. I was told a few things about you recently. You probably wouldn't have wanted me to hear them, but I wasn't given the choice.”

“Oh.”

“It’s quite a lot to take in.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t see how you had much control over what you were doing.”

“Shows you don’t know much about it then.”

“You could tell me.”

“No!”

“Okay, I guess I’m stuck not knowing much about it.”

“Just drop it, will you?”

“Okay. We’re expecting company tonight.”

“I know, I was told.”

“You okay to fight them?”

“Always.”

“Even with me? Even with what I know about you.”

“Even with you. Even after all that.”

“It’s not really my fault you know?”

“Like all those things I did weren't mine?”

“I didn’t ask to be told.”

“But you listened anyway even though you knew you shouldn't. Like it was still me inside and I still did those things. I actually thought it was amusing at the time.”

“So, what changed when they gave you the cure? What changed in you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Maybe they gave you back something that was missing, something that meant you weren’t really you when you did those things, just mostly “

“I said, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Subject dropped. I’d say sorry, but I’m not.”

“You’re an annoying, interfering, immature little girl.”

“You say the nicest things. I have an app on my phone which might help if we end up facing something new. Just don’t go all gung ho the instant something arrives.”

“You know that term originates from the Chinese gōnghé, meaning work together.”

“So how come it means just go for it now?”

“Misused by idiots who didn’t know the meaning.”

“Well okay. One idiot who will try not to misuse it again, but let’s come up with a plan before doing anything.”

“Whatever you say.”

“No. You have more experience than me. I may have access to more information, but I’d prefer it to be whatever we say.”

“Okay, whatever you say.”

“So you can be annoying and immature too.”

He grinned at me. The elephant was back behind the curtain for now.

A familiar grey arm appeared in the middle of a twinkling disturbance, fifty yards away. I prepared my app. The rest of the creature appeared, all legs and arms with serrated edges. The head was narrow with a sharp ridge of bone running from brow to chin.

The app flickered through a number of images and swiftly settled on one that looked precisely like the creature in front of us

“Krrst,” I said. “No vowels just k-r-r-s-t. Has the capacity to sidestep through adjacent dimensions, meaning it seems to disappear then reappear a few moments later. Usually right next to its target with those serrated limbs already sticking in them. Keep moving and try to predict where it will appear. Strike it as it does so to harm it.”

“Not so useful,” David said as the new arrival vanished.

“Move in random directions. Keep moving.” I followed my own advice and started bouncing at random. I caught a hint of blur in the air then another. It was homing in on my companion. One more blur, seemingly at regular intervals several seconds apart. I judged the timing and jumped.

“Duck!” I shouted. He did as I said just as the creature phased into existence, its arm thrust exactly where David had been an instant earlier. My own sharpened heel jammed into its skull and it fell like a pile of loose firewood before collapsing into ash.

“How did you...?”

“It looks like they phase back into this dimension just enough to give them a peak every few seconds. It looks like a faint ripple in the air and happens at regular intervals. They home in on their prey then appear with their limbs where they expect their enemy to be. More coming. Two this time.”

“Shit. Here, take these.” He handed me a couple of short daggers made of what looked like bone.”

“What about you?”

“There was enough of that demon horn to make four. I’d rather we were both armed, and these aren’t vampires, so Irish dance not that useful.”

I took the blades. “You take the one heading right, I’ll take the other. Follow it’s approximate direction of travel and watch for...”

“I see it, it’s tracking you.”

“I know. Keep moving, don’t make it too easy for it. Warn me when you think...”

“Jump!”

I did just as the first figure appeared with one of David’s daggers in its gut.”

“Duck left.” I called as I came down on a second emergent form. It swung enough to catch my companion across his left arm, then moments later it had my left heel in its skull.

David hissed and I glanced at him in time to see his eyes turn a sickly yellow. His canines showed.

“Four now,” I said. “Keep it together.

I started dancing about like an epileptic flea, my eyes swivelling to catch any hint of motion.

“Forward roll!” I called. He dived as two appeared, one ahead and low, the other to the side, swinging where he’d been standing. I landed by the upright one and caught it in the side with the dagger. The weapon was potent enough to turn it to dust.

Instinct made me leap sideways just as the third one appeared, by which time David was on his feet, one of his daggers flying through the air and catching my would be assailant in the stomach – assuming he had one and kept it in the usual place.

Two down. David reached to pick up his fallen dagger. Again, instinct took over. “Down, I yelled and threw myself into the face of a newly appearing monster.

Three down. The fourth was retreating. On the off chance that it had to appear back in our dimension before stepping through the portal, I judged and threw, my blade hitting the creature just as it solidified.

I circled around close to the portal, picked up the fallen blade, all the time ready for another grey limb, but it seemed they’d given up on that tactic.

What next? Both daggers in one hand, phone in the other. Back off into a defensive stance beside my co-fighter.

“You okay?”

“Don’t mind me.”

“As long as you’re not going feral on me.”

“Don’t have a lot of faith in me, do you?”

“Haven’t given me a lot of reason to yet, have you?”

“You’re like a fucking dog with a bone. Will you give it a rest, woman?”

“Now that at least sounds like a human response. Sure that injury isn’t going to slow you down?”

“You do you and let me do me. Looks like the next wave is coming.”

What appeared next. Was four legged and vaguely feline. Its claws looked like they could grasp hold of things. Branches, people, whatever, and its jaws hinges wide enough to fit a whole human head, assuming the sabre like teeth didn’t get in the way. A long tail whipped around, providing added balance and potentially an added weapon since the tip appeared to be sharp and glistening.

“Manticore,” I read from my phone. “Poisonous sting in its tail, otherwise claws and teeth are wicked sharp. Loose folds of skin around the neck hard to get through.”

“One each?” he asked as a second materialised beside the first.

“Sounds like a plan, but don’t get possessive. Whoever kills their first gets to help with the other.”

“Just as long as you don’t mind being helped. I’m going left.” With that he launched himself at the left creature, leaving me to charge at the right hand one and deflect its tail which it had aimed at David.

They were fast and agile and didn’t seem to tire. I led mine away from the other so that they couldn’t gang up against one of us. The horn blades proved useful, forcing me to use both arms and legs, which gave me four weapons against its five. It seemed to favour the tail, which it cracked like a whip, spraying toxin at me, which I barely avoided.

“Tail whip,” I yelled as I spun out of the way of the flying drops. “Poison spray.”

It was as much warning as I could give before the tail came in at me from a different angle.

“You do you,” he yelled back.

Fine. I had enough to concentrate on. The next time the tail whipped in, I spun around and slashed at it with one of my spikes, cutting through just behind the stinger and severing it.

The creature yowled in pain and rage and launched at me with its jaws gaping. Okay, so maybe it had six weapons to my four, now down to five. I leapt backwards and slashed twice across its snout with my heels. A somersault put me out of its reach with it recoiling from my counterattack.

Not for long. It leapt forward just as I leapt up. It misses me but twisted out of my reach as I came back down. I parried a claw with a horn dagger and stabbed up into its belly with the other, ripping it down against its ribcage.

Either the horns were losing their efficacy, or these things had a lot more resilience than other creatures we’d faced. It was hurt, but not significantly, as evidenced by the ferocity of its next attack. Both claw attacks parried with horn blades, leaving those gaping jaws coming through the middle. I fell back to avoid them and brought my heels up into its guts, pushing upwards with all my strength as its rear claws caught the backs of my legs.

I screamed with pain, still pushing for all I was worth. It was bloody heavy, but I had the strength to throw it, just about.

“Sarah!” David called.

“You do fucking you,” I yelled, regaining my feet and leaping straight at my monster’s head, sinking both my blades into its eyes.

Now it was the creature's turn to scream. It clawed at its ruined eyes, turning its back to me and leaving me with a free shot at the base of its brain. Both horn blades sunk home and it collapsed under me. No turning to dust this time, but it wasn’t moving. I turned to look at how David was getting on with his beastie. He’d lost one of his blades and was holding the creatures tail just behind the stinger in his free hand. It turned out he’d stuck the other blade hilt deep into the roof of the monster’s mouth, but not quite far enough in to kill it. It was trying to bring its claws to bear with gradually increasing levels of success.

Maybe be David had actually been calling for help, but that seemed unlikely.

My legs were slick with blood, my purchase on the back of my own creature’s corpse uncertain. I dug into the thick ruff with my heels and launched myself at the other, spinning and twisting to bring the business end of my footwear into the top of its spine, sinking both horn daggers into its eyes for good measure.

It collapsed to one side. Between me pulling and David pushing we managed to avoid being trapped.

“You okay?” he asked.

“A little winded. You?”

“Your legs,” he said looking at the blood streaking down them.

“Your... everything.” It looked like he’d fallen into a box of very angry cats.

“I’ll mend.”

“I don’t think your coat will.”

“It was too long anyway. There’s this girl I know, complains about it dragging on the floor whenever I lend it to her.”

I couldn’t keep from laughing.

“Do you think that’s it for today.”

“I don’t know. I kind of hope so.”

“Hang on.” I pulled out my phone and called though to Stuart. “Hi Stuart, what’s your take on the portal?”

“Well, it’s been rather active, but I’m, I’m not sensing much from it now.”

“We know about the active. Just wondering if we can expect anything else.”

“I’m not sure. It’s er… I should hang tight for a while.”

“Okay, thanks for not very much. Let us know when we can stand down won’t you?”

“By us, am I to assume that, er, Der Schattenengel is with you?”

“His name is David. I would very much appreciate if you would avoid using that other name.”

“I just want you to be aware of, er, the person with whom you are currently consorting.”

“I’m very much aware thank you. I’m sure you have a past you wouldn’t want me digging into.”

“Ripper,” David murmured in my ear. I repeated it down the phone.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing I have any intention of repeating or researching further. I rather hope you’ll be as courteous.”

“Yes, well, I hope you know what you’re doing is all.”

“Yes, me too, but let that be my mistake to make, if it ends up being a mistake.”

“As you wish. I, er, I’m not detecting any more activity from the portal. Whatever you faced, I think that’s it.”

“Half a dozen krrst and a couple of manticores. The app works really well.”

“Er yes, well, I’m not entirely sure what… they… are. One moment. I’m sensing a surge in activity. Quite a large one as it happens.”

“Okay, I’ll call you back.” I turned to David. “Looks like we’re up again.”

I stood up, feeling the dried blood flaking off my legs. The gashes felt like they’d closed, but they were tight and uncomfortable.

Besides me David also climbed to his feet. No weariness evident in his body, but a deep fatigue apparently in his soul.

Two immense horns pushed through the portal and turned upwards as an equally immense face appeared below them. Eyes covered the upper part of the face like freckles, deep red and glowing with no detail other than the colour. The nose was a sharp blade dividing the skull with no mouth beneath it. Each eye picked a target, a half for me and a half for David.

“Insignificant!” the voice boomed in our heads. I mean I assumed we both heard it from the slight wince in my companion’s face.

The app wasn’t offering any suggestions. I switched to camera and video before speaking.

“Who are you?” I said, keeping my voice calm. He could keep all the ostentation for himself if he liked.

“Master,” the voice rumbled in my mind.

“Master?” I repeated for the sake of the camera. “I hardly think so. What is it you want?”

“Everything.”

“Sorry, at least some of it’s ours and we’d like to keep it.”

“Soon,” he boomed loud enough to shake my teeth loose.

“Soon what? Maybe try more than one word at a time.”

“Soon the portal will be blasted wide and my army will flood into your world, then you and your pathetic friend will be powerless to prevent the enslavement of your kind.”

Power crackled between the two horns, building with an ear-splitting whine as the head bowed and withdrew. At the last minute, a bolt of energy lanced out, landing where David and I had stood an instant earlier, leaving a crater fifteen feet across, obliterating the corpses of the two manticores.

I videoed it briefly then shut off the camera.

“Do you fancy a proper bed for the night? I’m sure my parents could be persuaded.”

“Better not,” he replied. “You’d better scoot if you want to make it before your curfew.”

I glanced at my phone, the clock reading twenty past ten, and swore under my breath. “What did I tell you about eavesdropping?”

He laughed as I broke into a run. No time to hunt out the sheaths to my heels, just run.

I made it, just.

“One minute to spare,” Dad called out without looking up from his rubbish.

“Sorry Dad.” Why did I have to apologise? I was on time. Giving him lip would just means an earlier bedtime though. I ran upstairs keeping to the balls of my feet, unbuckled my shoes, grabbed my nightie and dressing gown, and zipped across into the bathroom just as Mum started up after me.

The gashes on the backs of my legs had all but healed with not even any hint of scar tissue. The dried blood washed off easily enough, even though most of it had come from those last two creatures. I would probably have to bin my clothes this time, which sucked. I really liked the skirt.

I tried to be quick, knowing that Mum would wait for me. I showered with my clothes as I had at Nick’s, but nothing was going to shift the stains, at least nothing available to me in the bathroom.

I wrung them out and bundled them up, hiding the blood as best I could.

Back in my room Mum sat on the bed, holding my shoes, bloody heels uppermost.

Okay, so this was going to be interesting.

Chapter 9

I took the shoes from her and sat next to her on the bed. There was a box of wet wipes on the bedside cabinet. I took a few and started cleaning off the gore, taking extra care around the sharp edges and points.

I’d about finished when a quiet but distinct tick sounded against the window. I opened it and reflexively caught the two heel sheaths that came flying through the gap.

“Thanks,” I said quietly. He’d already demonstrated how good his hearing was.

Window closed and sheaths clicked back into place, I settled next to Mum again, accepting the mug of hot chocolate she offered me and taking a sip. It wasn’t so hot anymore.

“I don’t suppose I can convince you not to have seen any of that, can I?” I asked.

She just looked at me.

“I haven’t really given much thought on how to handle a situation like this,” I said. “I suppose I’ve been hoping it wouldn’t happen. Except that’s a bit ridiculous, thinking you’d never find out.”

She kept staring at me. I wasn’t sure if her silence was down to shock or if it was some kind of parental psychology. Either way, I could feel myself twisting and squirming under her gaze and unable to escape.

“The thing is the truth is kind of harder to believe than any piece of fiction I might invent, so I’m tempted just to make something up.”

The stare bored deeper.

“Except what could I make up that would even come close to why my shoes and clothes were covered in blood and why I had a bunch of lethal weapons on me.”

Her gaze shifted to the damp pile of clothes I’d dropped on the desk. I shook it out to reveal the wet tee-shirt and skirt, still stained with blood and the two horn daggers.

“I’m going to show you a video. It’s going to look like something from a horror movie, but it really happened.”

I brought up the video I’d taken of the giant demon head. It didn’t surprise me that none of the demon’s words had made it onto the soundtrack, absence of mouth being a big clue, but the camera shook whenever he’d spoken in my mind – our minds.

The bodies of the manticores appeared in the corner of the frame every now and then. I managed to pause the video at a frozen moment when they were clear enough to see.

“Those are what the blood came from,” I said. “They’re not from our world.” I let the video roll on until it pointed back at the disembodied head. “Neither is that,” I said allowing the video to continue to its violently destructive end.”

“The crater’s real. It’ll be on the news later. It’ll be reported as some freak lightning strike or something. The authorities are pretty good at explaining away anything they think will scare the general public.”

Mum turned her silent gaze back on me.

“Mum, why do you think I turned into a girl?”

Slight creasing around her eyes. She was listening at least.

“I mean, the whole thing about me putting on a dress and dancing my heart out until magic happened has to be the worst attempt at an explanation ever, don’t you think?”

Her eyebrows went up and she tilted her head in agreement.

“There’s something that Mr Giles said to me at the beginning of all this. ‘In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer.’

“Guess what?” I made jazz hands and gave her a really cheesy grin.

The eyebrow twitched again, this time accompanied by her best sceptical face.

“The Irish dance try outs. Why is Irish dancing always done with the arms by the side?”

The tilt of the head invited me to go on.

“Because vampires are swift and strong and could easily tear your arms off, but they’re confused by the rhythms of the dance, and spikes like these,” I picked up a shoe and tapped the toe to reveal the spike heel, “are ideal weapons to use against them.

“Why did I change into a girl? Not entirely clear, except that female physiology seems better adapted to this kind of fighting. Female temperament too. There have been male slayers in the past – despite Mr Giles’s introductory speech – but maybe the magic saw the inner me and figured I’d be better off like this, and I am, Mum.

“Portals are drawn to places where ley lines converge. There was one under Mr Giles’s shop, which is where I fought my first vampires, then you and Dad wouldn’t let me go see him anymore, so he untethered the portal and it’s been jumping to different places since. The school basement, which is why I was down there last week, cemeteries and church grounds, which is why I’ve been going out for walks in the evenings. Most of the monsters I’ve been up against have been vampires or variations of, and they turn to dust when they die. There have been a few things that were a bit gorier, like tonight.

“The thing is, I get to fight them because, like it or not, this is my legacy.”

Disbelieving eyes again.

“Sorry Mum, but some things go beyond the rules and laws of society. If I don’t stand up to them, then there’s no-one else to do so.”

She looked at the sheath in my hand then the window.

“Oh him? Yeah, he’s useful to have around, but he wouldn’t last long on his own, not the way things are escalating. I’m not sure how long I’d last without help, but I’m at the centre of it, Mum.”

“Will you listen to yourself?”

“Yeah, I know it sounds unbelievable, but when you’ve spent a couple of weeks fighting things from mythology and fantasy, you begin to believe in the unbelievable.”

“The way you’re talking, I’m wondering if I shouldn’t take you to see a psychiatrist.”

“You could. I mean, I’m still underage and you could probably have me sectioned and locked away, because I agree, what I’m saying sounds insane.

“But assume for one highly unlikely moment that I’m right. You arrange to have me locked up for my own good, and in a day or two, the portal opens again and I’m not around to stop them. When they kill a bunch of people, that’ll be on you, because I would have stopped them.”

It was unkind, I knew. I could see in the way Mum winced. I wasn’t done yet though.

“Then when the people they kill come back to life as vampires and there are four times as many of them, and they all go out killing, then that’ll be on you too. Eventually you won’t care though, because sooner or later they’ll come for you and Dad before they head out into the rest of the country, then the rest of the world.”

“Stop it! Stop it, please.”

“I’m sorry Mum, but I have to show you how important this is. At least enough to convince you not to dismiss it out of hand.”

“Your father won’t like this.”

“I know. I’d rather keep him out of it if I can. I mean I’d have preferred to do the same with you, but that ship’s sailed, hasn’t it?”

“What are you asking of me?”

“Come and talk to Mr Giles, or Miss Ephemeris. She’s a dance teacher at the school, but she’s also involved in this sort of thing.”

“Perhaps I might have a word with her then.”

“Woman to woman, so to speak?”

“You don’t need to make fun of me, darling.”

“I’m not Mum. I kind of get it. Whatever I used to be, I do feel that men are kind of on a different wavelength and I can make more sense of things by talking with women.”

“You really never were my son, were you?”

“I don’t know what I was, Mum. Maybe I was a bit. Maybe there was enough influence from the male hormones and stuff, but it just messed me up. Who I am now feels right all the way through.”

“Alright, we’ll put this on hold for now.” She collected the mugs and my blood-stained clothes. “I’m not sure what I’ll be able to do with these, but I’ll try.

“Could you arrange for me to speak with this, what did you say her name was?”

“Miss Ephemeris. She’s usually in the library first thing. I’ll see if I can arrange for her to see you at lunchtime or, failing that, at the end of the day.”

“Fine. Then we’ll see after that.”

“Alright, thanks Mum.”

“Teeth and bed,” she said.

“Okay.”

Teeth, call Stuart then bed. I’d promised him I’d call him back, then I’d had to rush home, get cleaned up and deal with the maternal inquisition (nobody survives the maternal inquisition, said with a slightly silly voice. Our chief weapon is silence… silence and quirky eyebrows… quirky eyebrows and silence… Our two weapons are quirky eyebrows and silence… and… I think you get the picture).

I told him in more detail about the krrst and the manticores, then about the demon head and what words it had put in my head. Then I had to admit to Mum finding out and what I’d told her.

“I’ll have a word with Jen this evening,” he said. “She won’t be present first thing, so we’ll have to see when she is available.”

“Well, as long as we can make it tomorrow. I don’t think Mum’ll be put off any longer.”

“Oh, we’ll arrange something tomorrow, don’t worry. In fact, it may be quite serendipitous this occurring at this precise moment in time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise, but Miss Ephemeris may have a fairly convincing demonstration for your mother.

“Anyway, astonishing job as ever. I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but you have handled everything that’s come your way with remarkable aplomb.”

“Thanks Stuart. I know you don’t trust him still, but I probably wouldn’t have without David’s help.”

“And you would probably have surprised yourself with what you could have achieved on your own had he not been present. I’ll tell you what though: I’ll promise to keep open minded about him as long as you promise to remain cautious in your dealings with him.”

“Deal.”

A loud rap on the door made me jump.

“Teeth and bed!” Mum said sternly emphasising the last word.

“Sorry Mum.”

“Don’t make me take that thing away from you!”

“Gotta go,” I said into the phone. “Talk tomorrow.”

I hung up and plugged the phone in. Light out and snuggle down. Apparently, they were the right noises because Mum moved on without putting her head round my door.

#

I wore something quite conservative the following day as a sign of good faith to Mum. That included flats which felt odd after so many days on stilts. I put one of my Irish dance uniforms in my bag along with a pair of battle shoes and the horn daggers David had given me. Most of my books were in my locker at college, but my notebook just about squeezed into the remaining space.

Boring breakfast, trouble free walk onto college, early morning meeting with Stuart, Laurel and Nick. Nothing much to talk about, other than a general sense of concern over last night’s talking head encounter – well not so much talking, but head at least – and a confirmation that Miss E would be back in time to meet Mum at one o’clock. I texted her to let her know before lessons began.

Morning double we had a substitute teacher for media studies which meant read the chapter answer the questions. Kind of dull but better than having your head bitten off I reminded Nick at break.

After break I had history, then after lunch I had a free double, which I planned to spend in the library. Maybe with Mum and Stuart for some of it.

The surprise was turning up at the library at lunch time to find Mum and the whole Scooby Gang waiting.

“Er, hi?” I ventured. Mum didn’t look all that convinced either.

“Good,” Miss E said, “we’re all here. I’m sorry Mrs Geller. Stuart – Mr Giles – spoke to me last night, and it seemed the best thing I could do to convince you was to give you a demonstration. This is something new which I believe will provide us all with some valuable insights as well as answer your concerns.

“You recognise this I think, Sarah?”

I glanced at Mum. I couldn’t see how this was going to convince her.

“It’s the demon horn I tore off the other day.”

“From a Fyarl demon. It contains an immense amount of power. This prism is attuned to the patterns that came from your recent killing of that greshnick. Combined they should open a portal back into the demon realm. Give us a look at what we’re facing.”

She began an incantation. I took hold of Mum’s hand since she was looking a lot less convinced than I’d have liked her to be and I didn’t want her trying to escape before the demo was done.

The space above the table shimmered and settled into an image of a vast, gloomy desert plain. It was covered as far as the eye could see in monsters. Mostly vampires and greshnicks but a mixture of other creatures too. I could see krrst and manticores, Fyarl demons and other unmentionable horrors. I stood and walked around the table. The view changed with each new perspective. I reached a point where a true giant of a creature strode towards the portal we’d created. It stooped as it approached.

“See your doom, insignificant ones? Soon the portal will swing wide and your world will be overrun. All will be mine.”

As before the voice crashed directly into our brains. It was excruciating and not a little terrifying. The others hadn’t experienced it before and were clutching their heads in silent screams. There wasn’t much I could think to do. I grabbed the prism and pulled it free.

“Sorry,” I said to Jen, “I couldn’t think of anything else to do.”

She shook her head. “There wasn’t anything else to do. I hadn’t counted on anything like that.”

“What did I just experience?” Mum asked.

I turned to Jen who was slowly recuperating.

“I believe your daughter mentioned the portal?”

“She did, yes.”

“There’s a strong convergence of ley lines under the school and it’s latched on under here,” she pointed down under the table. “In her recent fights, Sarah provided us with an artefact of significant power,” she pointed at the demon horn which was smoking gently, “and the information we needed to reverse the portal and allow us to see through to the dimension that’s attacking us.

“I’ll admit, I didn’t have much idea what we’d see. An alien landscape, perhaps a few of the monsters we’ve been seeing. I certainly didn’t expect anything like that.

“The large creature is what you encountered last night?” She directed the question to me, so I nodded. “What did it say again?”

“Er.” The single word answers were easy enough to remember, but the other was burned into my memory much as this most recent one. “He said, ‘Soon the portal will be blasted wide and my army will flood into your world, then you and your pathetic friend will be powerless to prevent the enslavement of your kind.’”

“So something of a common theme. Did we catch it on video, Laurel.”

“Er, yes. I’m reviewing it now. I’ll have an estimate in a, er, while but at this stage I’d say several tens of thousands.

“He’s definitely going to have to come up with a way of blasting the portal wide and soon.”

“Erm, why?” Mum asked. I liked not being the one to ask obvious questions.

“What does an army march on, Mum?”

“Erm...”

“And what did you see that might be used to fill it?”

“Oh. Oh, really? That’s horrible!”

“But a-almost certainly true,” Mr Giles said. “When, when a swarm of locusts strips a field bare, they either move on to the next one or they eat each other.”

“So all we need to do to prevent the great invasion is keep the door shut,” I said, glad that I was a student of history and so not doomed to repeat it.

Not that I could think of a time in history when this applied. I mean Hannibal is said to have forced his men to resort to cannibalism, but maybe that wasn’t true. Certainly the concept of scorched earth as a way of stopping another army from using a land’s resources fit here, but... Maybe not so much the same.

“He seems pretty confident about his ability to force it open though,” Laurel said, looking more terrified than the rest of us combined.

“Is this really what you’re involved in, sweetheart?” Mum looked at me deeply worried.

“Well, until today I didn’t have much of an idea on how big a thing it is, but yeah.”

“Maybe this is the point we involve someone else,” Jen suggested.

“It would seem wise,” Stuart said, “given that we’re facing, how many Laurel?”

“The, er, computer model suggests upwards of, what!? Eighty-seven thousand!! And that’s only how many we can make out. There may be more beyond the, er, horizon.”

“That’s larger than the British army,” Stuart continued, “and no guarantees that their weapons would be effective against, er, them. Even if the majority are, are just ordinary vampires.”

“So what are you proposing?” I asked. “Involve the armed forces, show them what we just saw but with a bit more thought given to how we shut down the connection?”

“Something like that, yes,” Jen said.

“And what would they do? Send bombs through? Cruise missiles? Drones?”

“Why not?”

“We don’t know what effect explosives will have on them though. What if all the bits grow back into individual bad guys? What if blowing them up just makes the problem worse?

“I mean, don’t the army have a kind of conventional approach to fighting? What if they decide to chuck an atom bomb through the portal and it turns out the blast of radiation is what tears the portal open?”

They all stared at me.

“How long has there been a slayer? How long has there been this thing where one person like myself stands against the creatures that make it through the portals?”

“Nearly two thousand years I should think,” Stuart said.

“And in all that time, has there ever been a major incursion like this?”

“Well, there were those incidents I mentioned, but they were single immense creatures coming through. “I don’t recall an invasion like ever… but...”

“So either the big guy without the mouth is a new kid on the block with an idea on how to tear the portal open, in which case we need help, but not on their terms, because they don’t know what we’re up against, or he’s trying to convince us to do all the hard work for him, in which case we definitely don’t want the armed forces involved on their own terms.

“I mean we talk about maybe an army that big turning on itself, but what happens to one of those vampires if it doesn’t have access to fresh blood? I mean, if it’s already dead, can it get any deader? What if they just hang about growing hungrier and hungrier?”

“So, what do you suggest we do?” Jen asked.

“Find a military mind that’s open to what we’re dealing with. Maybe put together a squad that’s up for trying new things. Conventional weapons first so we can all find out how effective they are against mystical creatures, then adapting what we know works well to their methods. Frag grenades with hardwood shrapnel, holy water dispersal systems, blades designed to slice through creature’s necks. They listen to us to learn the monster weaknesses; we listen to them to come up with new ideas. If we ever face a major invasion, there’s a specialist military unit able to spread the word about what works.”

“I like it,” Jen said. “I can sell that to one or two of my military contacts, and you’re right, we don’t want anyone trying random weapons just to see what happens.”

“In the meantime, if there’s a way of observing the other side without being spotted...”

“We can work on that,” Laurel said. “We could do with a power source a little less potent than this though.”

I took out my horn daggers and put them on the table.

“Those would work,” Jen said picking one up. “We could probably turn the big one into a lance or spear if you like.”

“Or maybe a nice shiny axe with a sharp pointy end on the handle?”

“Haft.”

“No, a whole one.”

Mum gave me a despairing look.

“Among my many talents is the ability to provide necessary light relief,” I said in my chipperest voice.

“Maybe not, love. Stick to your strengths, eh? I mean, everything you said just now, that all made a lot of sense, but leave the comic relief to Nicholas, he was always better at it than you.”

“Hey!” Nick snapped. “Hey, I’ve found my niche.”

I looked at Stuart. “Nobody likes my jokes?”

He shrugged and wouldn’t meet my eyes. “That, er, that one wasn’t your best. A-and you are so much better at being, er, being the slayer.”

“You know you stutter more when you’re nervous.”

“A, er, a keen observation, worthy of, er, the, er, slayer.”

“Fair enough. Slayer it is. Stuart, if at all possible, I need to know more about Mr Tall, Pointy and Mouthless. If he appears in any of your books, I want to know what they say about him. Nick, you can help him look, and with any spare time you have, do what you can to make us feel better about our situation. Jen, talk to your military contacts and see if you can set us up a specialist force who’ll listen to us and learn how to stand up to this threat. Also work with Laurel who will be making us a sneaky spy portal and me a super cool weapon.”

“And what about you?” Jen asked.

“Kind of depends on my mum. Either she’s going to talk to my dad, who’ll have me locked up as insane, or I’ll be patrolling wherever the portal happens to be tonight.”

“While I run interference with your father and try to get blood and gore out of your clothes,” Mum said. “Mum’s decided. I don’t particularly like all this, but I can’t deny it’s happening, or that you’re needed.”

“Okay!” I gave Mum a grateful look. “We all know what we’re doing. You’re going to go home and cook something with all the calories I’m going to need for later. The rest of us have to pretend that school work is the most important thing in our lives. I’ll see you later Mum.”

#

“Something smells good,” Dad said as he stepped through the door.

It was one of Dad’s rare office days so Mum had come home to an empty house, and Dad still hadn’t been home when I joined her. She’d suggested linguine bolognaise which, Mum’s version consisted of bolognaise sauce topped up with shredded carrot and sliced mushrooms to balance out the amount of mince, and linguine as a slightly more substantial alternative to spaghetti. It was quick and easy to make and a favourite of Dad’s so, apart from putting the ingredients together, Mum had waited for me and I was soloing it.

“Nothing to do with me,” Mum said from behind her cup of tea and her magazine.

Dad settled into his seat next to her. “What does she want?”

I’d put the kettle on the moment I’d heard tyres on gravel. He was less discerning when it came to taste and more interested in speed, so I did him a ‘bag in a mug’ tea which I brought through to him even as he was settling into his chair.

“It’s something both of us would rather like, dear.” Mum took another sip of her tea while I put the pasta on to cook, with peas steaming over it all. Two minutes for the water to boil, eleven minutes to do the cooking.

“What’s that dear?” Dad asked. He was shaking his paper out while he did so, so not paying full attention yet.

“I went into the college this afternoon to have a word with Miss Ephemeris – Jen she said her name was. You know, the dance teacher.”

“The one who dressed our son up as a girl?”

“That’s the one, shortly before she became our daughter.”

“What about her? Is Sarah in trouble again?”

“No, far from it. Jen mentioned how exceptional a dancer Sarah is...”

“I know that. I saw for myself when we went to see that Stuart Giles chap in his odd little shop, back before our son actually became our daughter.”

And you drank enough whiskey to embarrass yourself in front of the neighbours. Not something to mention at this point though. I lifted a stack of plates out of the oven and checked the timer.

“She wanted to say how much it would benefit Sarah if she were to have additional lessons.”

“And how much are they going to cost us?”

“Not a penny, though perhaps a little pride.”

“What rubbish are you talking, woman?”

“She said she didn’t feel able to provide tuition at an appropriate level, but she did mention to Sarah that this Mr Giles was exactly the sort of mentor Sarah needs at this time.”

“Yes, but he’s a little peculiar. I really don’t think I’d like Sarah to spend any time on her own with him. I mean heaven knows what he’d get up to.”

“Jen says he’s mentored a number of young girls before now and they’ve all had nothing but the highest praise for him. He has been DBS checked as I understand it.”

“Yes, but what exactly does that mean?”

“Enough to satisfy the government that he’s safe to be around children.”

“How often are we talking?”

“Jen suggested every night.”

“You want me to drive our daughter down to the arcade and back every night?”

“No, of course not. I probably forgot to mention, Mr Giles has been employed by the college as their new librarian.”

“Has he really?”

“Yes, so Sarah could stay on after school and train with him there.”

“When would she do her schoolwork?”

“After school and before the training sessions.”

“And the school’s checked him out?”

“He wouldn’t be working there if they hadn’t.”

“Well, alright, but I’ll want her back before nine.”

“I’m serving up,” I said from the kitchen.

“She may have to stay a little later, dear.”

“However long are we talking? She finishes at what...?”

“Four,” I said, putting a plate in front of him. “By the time I’ve settled in the library and done my homework, it’ll be five-year thirty. An hour and a half training will take us to seven. An hour for tea in the canteen – it stays open for the night schoolers – then another hour and a half session will take us to nine-thirty, then home by ten. Ten-thirty at the latest.”

“Unless you have one of those recitals he was talking about,” Mum said.

I wasn’t about to argue with my mother if she was going to start lying for me.

“Ten o’clock’s late enough for a school night. I don’t want your grades slipping young lady.

“They won’t Dad.”

“Yes, I’ve heard that before.”

“She’ll be eighteen in a few weeks darling,” Mum chided gently.

“What does that have to do with the price of fish?” One of Dad’s random statements to show that something wasn’t pertinent to the conversation.

“She’ll legally be an adult and able to do whatever she likes.”

“Not if she wants to continue living under my roof, she won’t.”

“Could we at least try it for a while, Dad? In by ten unless I call ahead to let you know I’ll be later. I’ll try to keep it before ten-thirty on a school night and if my grades start slipping, we’ll do it your way.”

“Sounds like a fair compromise to me, dear,” Mum said. “After all we want her to develop some degree of independence.”

“All right, we’ll try it, but any sign that you’re neglecting your studies…”

“Thanks Daddy.” I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which he didn’t seem to mind, so it was quite likely he was coming round to the idea of having a daughter instead of a son.

I finished my food and excused myself from the table, dropping my dirties in the sink before fetching my shoes.

“Where are you going, young lady?” Dad asked.

“Out for a walk while the weather holds. It’s too nice an evening to waste inside.”

“Not meeting up with your friend Nick, are you? I swear it was easier when she was a he and wouldn’t get off the computer games.”

“No plans to meet anyone Dad.” I ducked out of the house before he could think of something new to fret over.

#

“So what happened to your daggers?” a familiar voice said from behind me.

I kept my back to him, hiding the dreamy smile that had crept onto my face. “I traded them in for something better,” I said.

“Like what?”

“Kind of a commission. I’ll show you when it’s ready.”

“You should have held on to them in the meantime. What are you going to fight with tonight?”

I kicked off my heel sheaths. “These’ll do me.”

“And if we face more than just vampires?”

“Then I’ll have you to protect me.” I looked over my shoulders at him. “Nice jacket.”

“Thanks, but don’t change the subject.”

It was kind of normal jacket length and made from black leather. Somewhat less retro than the old one, and it looked really good on him.

Sorry, I wasn’t meant to change the subject.

“I thought vampires were supposed to be allergic to sunlight.” The sun was still a fair way above the horizon, but oops again on the subject change.

“Anything with the parasite tends to have an aversion. I remember, it used to cause searing pain wherever direct sunlight touched my skin, but now I no longer have the parasite in me, it doesn’t affect me the same way. Mind you, I still had about three hundred years of avoiding sunlight, and even a hundred years of not having to hasn’t been enough to break the habit completely. It’s hard to say since no-one’s seen it, but I’ve always suspected the light level on their side of the portal is a lot lower than ours.”

“Yeah, it did look that way. Makes you wonder why they want to come, doesn’t it?”

“Wait, you’ve seen it?”

So I told him about the experiments from the past few days, first the magic that had shown ghosts of my last fight at the school, and the coloured powders that had shown the traces of the greshnick especially returning to the other side, then the thing with the demon horn and the prism that had opened a window so we could see what was on the other side.

“You know that was more than just a window into their world, don’t you?” he asked, excitedly. “You opened a portal, which means we can take the fight to them.”

“Did I tell you how many there were?”

“I still like my odds.”

“How would you deal with the big guy?”

“The thing we saw last time, without the mouth?”

“Yeah. He was there on the other side, bragging about his army and how he’d be bringing it through to our world really soon. That trick of his speaking directly into our minds almost put us all out of action.”

“Yeah, he could be a problem. He didn’t give you any clues how he planned to do all that, did he?”

“No, but I have the Scooby Gang researching it.”

“The what?”

“I know you’re old, but you’ve heard of Scooby Doo haven’t you?”

“The cartoon dog and all the ghosts and stuff?”

“That’s the one. Like them we look into paranormal mysteries, like them we stop bad things from happening in this world. Like them we are often referred to as ‘those meddling kids’…”

“So who’s who? I’m particularly interested to know which one is Scooby Doo”

“Okay, so the analogy isn’t perfect. Anyway, Laurel and Jen – that’s Miss Ephemeris to you – are working with the daggers you gave me. They think, since they have a lot less power in them than my complete demon horn, they should be able to open smaller portals which we’re hoping won’t be noticed by the big guy. Jen is also seeing about having my complete demon horn turned into a bigger, badder weapon. Stuart – Giles that is – and Nick – my friend Nick – are looking through Stuarts big pile of dusty books to see if any of them mention Mr Big Bad, which leaves me out here with you, making sure nothing nasty comes through when this portal opens. Any idea why it only opens after sunset? I mean the ones under Stuart’s shop and the school seem to open during daylight hours.”

“You know there’s only one portal don’t you? And you remember what we just said about light levels? When the portal’s tethered to a convergence that puts it underground, like the Magic Box and the school, it opens up into darkness so there’s nothing to stop stuff coming through any time.”

“Except now there are wards on it. Actually, come to think of it, I’ve seen the wards and it look like they just put up a load of sunbeds around it.”

“Ultraviolet lamps at a guess. Who or whatever controls the portal from the other side can sense where there’s harmful radiation on this side, so they keep it closed. That causes a build-up of power in the portal which distorts the ley lines so it occasionally skips out to lesser convergences like this one. As soon as the sun goes down, they sense it’s safe and open the doorway. After a few things come through, the distortion fades and the gateway switches back to its tether point.”

“You seem to know a lot about this sort of thing?”

“I’ve been studying it for the best part of a century. I mean, a lot of it’s guesswork, but it kind of makes sense if you think about it.”

“It does.”

“I wouldn’t get too complacent about what you’re doing at the school though, if I were you.”

“Why?”

“I assume you know about the Paganologists?”

“Jen is one. It’s how I know about your story. I assume this is relevant?”

“It is. About fifty years ago, when they were beginning to get themselves organised again after what they did to me, and what I did to them, I suppose, I found them playing with a major convergence like the one under your school. They were trying out the idea of UV lights. They were invented shortly after I was, I suppose cured is as good a word as any, and this was the first time they’d been organised enough to try doing something with them.

“After what they’d done to me, I was a long way from trusting them, so I kept back and watched. Probably as well too because it all happened so fast, I’m not sure even I’d have been able to get away.”

“What happened so fast?”

“I called it a hellmaw.”

“What?” I couldn’t help laughing just a little bit.

“Okay, you name it if you can think of anything better. It’s kind of a plant, so it doesn’t move about, which means it can only come through a tethered portal. It’s possible our adversary made it to deal with just this sort of problem.”

“Why hasn’t he use it yet then?”

“I’m guessing it takes a while to grow to maturity in their dim light, but when it’s ready they send it through. It kind of flourishes in our world. Sucks up water and nutrients and grows like crazy in the UV, doubling in size every minute or so. It’s all teeth and tentacles, so many and all acting independently, even you wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“What happened?”

“To the one half a century ago? Sunrise.”

“I thought you said it thrived on ultraviolet light.”

“Maybe a little too much. With the UV lamps it spread through the building so fast no-one survived. I only escaped because I was a hundred yards away, and even then it was close. By the time the sun came, the thing had grown out onto the surface and covered maybe half a square mile. Under the sun’s rays, it grew faster than the available water. It kind of shrivelled up as it grew and eventually went the way of most things from their dimension. It fell into dust.”

“There were no survivors?”

“Apart from me? A Jack Russel Terrier I believe. No people.”

“So, Jen won’t know what danger she’s putting everyone in? I mean you escaped. You could have told them.”

“We weren’t on speaking terms back then. We barely are now. No, I haven’t told them, but I’m telling you now.”

“How long did it take between when they set up the lights and that thing broke through?”

“Two, three weeks maybe”

“Two or three? It’s kind of important.”

“Yeah, it was a long time ago too. Let’s see, it was the twenty-first of March when they turned the lights on. Spring solstice you understand. They thought it mattered. Then the whole thing went to shit on… the thirteenth. It was a Friday. I remember thinking it was ironic.”

“So ten days between the solstice and the end of March then another thirteen days. Twenty-three days in total. We’ve had the wards up eighteen or nineteen days.”

“So, you have a few days in hand.”

“Assuming those things grow at the same rate each time. We have to warn them.”

“Mybe, but later. Looks like we’re up.” The sun chose that moment to disappear behind the horizon, and a twinkling sparkle had started over a mausoleum in the centre of the graveyard. “Anyway, as long as the portal has skipped out to here, it won’t be at the college, will it?”

Couldn’t fault his logic. Besides, life was about to get busy. What was coming though looked like ordinary vampires, but there were a lot of them.

This was a new tactic. I mean I’d beaten large numbers of vampires in one session before, and with David this shouldn’t be a challenge, unless…

“They’re going to try and get away,” I said.

“What?”

What was it with guys and that word?

“They’re originals. No challenge to either of us, but if they can escape, there’s ordinary people out there who don’t have a chance. We have to contain them.”

“They’re not that bright. They’re driven by hunger.”

“What if they’re driven by him? You felt what it was like when he talked into your skull. What if he’s instructed them to get away from us and look for prey elsewhere.”

The conversation was pointless. The first of the vampires were advancing on us, but the second wave behind them were scattering.

“Go for the ones that are running,” I shouted and did just that. “They’re not just here to feed. They’re here to breed.”

“Vampires don’t…”

“They do make more of themselves. Okay, breed sounded better because it rhymed, but if we don’t stop them there’ll be innocent lives lost and bunch of newly made human vamps to deal with. Plus we’ll be distracted from anything else, which means wouldn’t this be a great time to tackle the college, once the portal snaps back?”

“Shit.” He was a bit behind me, but he was on board now.

This would have been easier if I’d kept the daggers, but spilt milk and crying, no use. I took out the ones closest to the exit and rounded on the rest. They split into two groups, which left me little choice.

I paused to dig for my phone, which meant both lots were going to escape. No real helping it though. I hit Stuart’s speed dial.

“Sarah? Is everything…”

“No time. Vampires everywhere. Need the portal shut down, or a containment field or something. Also evacuate the college. Fire alarm or something, just get the night schoolers out of there.”

“What? Why?”

Ooh, a new w word. “No time,” I shouted, “just do it!”

I dagger flew past me, turning the last creature to pass me into dust. I dropped my phone back in my bag and scooped up the dagger, chasing after the rest.

I caught three, but two got away. Prioritise. I turned around to see vampires running in all directions. Three more reached the edge of the cemetery before an invisible barrier went up stopping the rest. I threw the dagger, dusting one of the three and leaving the dagger inside the barrier where David was fighting for his life. He was alive, wasn’t he?”

“Go,” he shouted. “I got this.”

I wasn’t sure he did, but four very real threats were out roaming the streets with a lot of vulnerable potential victims out there. I had to trust that he knew better.

I turned from the cemetery and ran.

I caught up with the first two quickly enough. They’d found a couple of joggers, one of whom was now lying on the floor with a vampire crouching over him. The other, a young woman, had been backed into a corner with the second vampire advancing on her.

“Hey!” I shouted running at the one approaching the woman, since I doubted there was much I could do for the one on the ground. The vamp paused and glanced my way, giving me just enough time to close the distance.

A quick tapped out rhythm furthered its confusion leaving me open to high kick into its chest. As usual, it burst into a cloud of dust, the shadow of its skeleton lasting fractionally longer than the rest of it.

“What! What!!” the woman screamed.

I didn’t have time for her yet. The other vampire was looking up from its meal, but that meant its attention was divided, meaning I could somersault onto its back and stick both my heels into or near its heart. It too disappeared in a cloud of filth.

“What were those things?” The woman screamed, even shriller than before.

“I don’t have time to explain,” I said. I had my fingers on the downed man’s throat and I could just feel a pulse. “Come here.”

Shocked people sometimes respond to commands. Fortunately for me she was one of them.

“Put your hand here,” I put her fingers against the twin holes in her companion’s neck, stemming the flow of blood. “Do you have a phone?” She nodded. “Good. Call for an ambulance. Tell them to look for a parasite. Something new, as small as a virus, but alive. He needs to be restrained and isolated.”

“Who are you?”

“I can’t tell you,” I said. “No time.”

The other two escapees had run off in opposite directions. One was slightly closer. I ran that way, again fishing out my phone and dialling Stuart.

“The barrier’s trapped most of them, along with David,” I said as soon as he answered the phone. “Four got away. I’ve taken care of two, but there was a victim. Breathing but unconscious.”

“Where?”

“Proctor Lane. His friend’s calling for an ambulance.”

“The others?”

“One heading north east, the other south west. I’m going after the north eastern one. The school?”

“Yes, er, erm, exactly why…?”

“No time, Stuart. What’s happening with the vampires is a distraction. As soon as the portal snaps back they’re going to chuck something really nasty through.”

“How do you know?”

“Gut instinct. Call it women’s or slayer’s intuition, I don’t care. I have a really bad feeling about this, Giles.”

“Yes, well, er, yes, alright. I’ve sent Nick to deal with it.”

“You what?”

“He knows. Pull the fire alarm and get out. If he’s caught…”

“Then he gets eaten with the rest of them.”

“Alright, he won’t get caught, but if he’s seen… I’m tracking you and your target. Take the next left and the second right after that.”

I went hands free and ran on, holding the phone in my hand.

The vampire sat straddled on a very fat man. A half dozen more people stood cowering back in the corner of the bus stop. The vamp turned on me as I approached and leapt up into an attacking pose.

“Run, you fuckwits,” I yelled at those I could help. Training took over and I settled into my mesmerising dance. The vampire dodged my first attack and parried my second. My third – a high roundhouse kick – made it through, severing her head from her body. More dust.

Her victim was dead though.

I grabbed my phone. “Newly sired human vampire isn’t going to dust, is it?”

“It takes several weeks before they’re sufficiently altered for that to occur.”

“Fewer words, less time wasted. Victim is dead. I’m assuming I’ll get in trouble if I stake him.”

“Er, yes.”

“Thank you. Victim is at the bus stop on Canon Street.”

“I’ll sort something. Head north on Canon. Your last victim has just about reached the arcade.”

A pizza delivery guy had paused to make a drop off, oblivious to the commotion going on around him. He’d left his scooter running. No helmet unfortunately, but beggars and choosers. I lifted it off its stand and roared away with an indignant cry chasing me down the road.

I’d be in trouble anyway now. Stealing the scooter, riding it without a license, not wearing a helmet, I wasn’t sure which would upset my dad the most, and I’d most likely be grounded till my birthday, and beyond if he could find a way of making it stick. I might as well get my sheep’s worth – you know, rather be hung for a sheep than a lamb sort of thing? I broke a few speed limits and may have gone the wrong way up a one-way street, but I reached the arcade in two minutes.

The vampire was big for his kind and taking some pleasure in approaching a whole group of late-night shoppers. With a silent word of apology to the pizza guy, I jumped the kerb and sent the scooter ploughing into my target. He went down in a mess of arms and legs with me pirouetting gracefully over the top of him to land between him and any potential kills.

He regained his feet, growling menacingly, but swiftly becoming mesmerised by the clattering of my shoes on the pavement. With a hard flat surface, I had an ideal opportunity to use my full set of skills, and I did to the max. He didn’t last long, disappearing into a puff of dust as did all his kind.

“What the hell? Who are you lady?”

I turned to see Big Larry standing slightly apart from the rest of the crowd I’d just rescued.

I curtsied to him. “Why, I’m Daphne,” I said, just about suppressing a hysterical giggle. I didn’t I have time for this. “Daphne the Dancing Demon Dispatcher, and I’m delighted to have been of service tonight.”

I picked up the scooter – a little scratched and bent but otherwise serviceable – and kicked it into life. I was gone before the situation could become more confused.

The pizza guy was pretty much on my way back to the cemetery. I diverted enough to pass him, distracting him from the phone call he was making. “Follow me,” I yelled as I screamed past. It was enough to encourage him to run after me.

Arriving back at the cemetery, it only took me a second to put the scooter on its stand. There were no sounds of fighting from inside the graveyard. I ran in, feeling only the vaguest resistance from the barrier.

David sat on the mausoleum where we’d first seen the portal sparkling. It was gone, as was every vampire that had come through, apart from the evidence of quite a lot more dust than had been there at the beginning of the weekend.

“Could you maybe ask you friend to drop the barrier,” he asked, “It turns out I’m still enough of a vampire that it works on me.”

“You…”

“I told you I could handle them,” he said with a smile.

“The school!” I shouted.

“The barrier?” he reminded me.

“What did you do to my fucking bike,” the delivery guy yelled from the gate.

Chapter 10

“Stuart? Bring the barrier down at the graveyard, please. The vampires have been dealt with and the portal’s gone.”

“Then what…”

“David’s trapped inside.”

“Oh, alright. Miss Ephemeris said she’d meet you at the school.”

“Why?”

“She has something for you. You may need it if you’re going to, er, do battle with…”

“Something came through?”

“You could say that. A sort of vine thing, with teeth. It’s spreading through the whole school. Nick set off the fire alarm, but there may be some people still trapped inside.”

“Okay, I’ll look for Jen when I get there.” Turning to David, I said, “Follow when you can, please. I may need you.”

The pizza guy had advanced into the graveyard where he was looking at me angrily but eyeing David warily.

“Go,” he said – David, I mean. “I’ll catch up.” To the scooter guy he said, “How much damage? Less than a couple of hundred quid? Will you take this in exchange?” He took off his jacket and offered it up. It was big on him, but that was probably part of the intimidation tactic, I didn’t know. He took it in payment leaving me feeling awful.

Running, I reached the college around ten minutes later. Miss E was waiting outside with a large wooden box in her hand.

“You might find this handy,” she said.

I lifted the lid and let out a gasp of appreciation. The axe inside was quite exquisite. Head made of shiny chrome steel with a long, intricately curved blade large enough to take the head off anything I’d faced so far, okay, not including the big bad. The haft consisted entirely of polished horn which curved gently forward, in the direction of the blade. The finishing touch was the braded cord handle which made the whole thing feel exactly right in my hand.

“It’s beautiful,” I said. “How did you… you know, so quickly.”

“I have a friend who’s a master weaponsmith. The moment I showed him the horn and told him what you had in mind, he couldn’t work on anything else until he’d completed it. He made me wait while he was working on it too, so good job I had some phone calls to make. My MoD contact is coming down to meet us here, but don’t wait for him. I think Nick said there might be some students trapped inside. How did you know…?”

“Something David told me. I’d really like you two to talk sometime.”

“Maybe after this then. Do you have any ideas?” She nodded at the main building which had tentacles reaching out through all the downstairs windows and most of the second floor ones.

“Can we cut the power?”

“I imagine so.” She dug out her phone and dialled a number. “Hi Phil. Yeah, it’s Jen. How do we cut power to the college main block? Uhuh. Okay, thanks.” She hung up. “Over here. Bring that.”

I hefted the axe. It was heavy but comfortable in my hand.

Jen pointed at a large grey box on the wall of the main building, fortunately away from any windows. Armoured cables ran up and down the wall top and bottom.

“Main power distribution,” she said. “If you cut it above, it’ll be cheaper to fix.”

I swung the axe. It sliced through the cable and embedded itself a couple of inches into the brickwork.

“So what did that achieve?”

“It powered down your ultraviolet lamps, so hopefully this thing won’t grow any more tonight. We’ll need to give it a lot of space come sunrise, but the sun should take care of it permanently.”

“Won’t other things be able to get through now that the wards are down?”

“Maybe. It depends how much space is left down in the basement. Stopping the plant growing any bigger is our main concern right now, but can your MoD contact arrange for some high intensity UV spotlights tonight?”

“He’ll want a reason.”

“Everything that carries the parasite is sensitive to UV. If anything else comes though, we’ll have a better chance of containing them with the spotlights.”

“What about the plant?”

“We should try not to shine the spotlights at the plant. I think we’ll need actual sunshine to deal with that.”

“I’ll see what I can organise. Roll call after the evacuation suggests there may be a couple of classes still trapped inside. I hate to ask, but…”

“No, it’s okay.” I’d already spotted a fire escape running down the windowless side of the building. The doors to it on the first, second and third floors were solid steel. Overengineered, since they were potential ways in for burglars. “Send David up to the roof after me when he gets here.”

“What makes you think he’ll listen to me?”

“Because you’ll tell him, ‘Sarah asked if you’d follow her up onto the roof.’”

She shrugged and nodded.

The axe felt amazing in my hand, like it had been made for me. I took the fire escape all the way to the roof then looked for roof access doors. There was just the one near to the fire escape. Planning that made sense for a change.

One swing of the axe took care of the lock. The stairwell was dark, but there seemed to be a hint of movement glistening in the depths. Fire would be nice, but I’d have to wait a while.

I headed down to the top floor and checked my way through all the classrooms. Everything was covered in water from where the sprinkler system had gone off, and in the last room about half a dozen girls huddled under their desks, trying to protect their clothes and hair from the impromptu shower.

Priorities!

Mind you some of those blouses looked like they were silk, and the water wouldn’t be kind to them.

I assured them the danger was over, both to them and their clothes, and led them out to the roof where David had just arrived. He took over from me. They seemed happier to take his instructions over mine, which didn’t bother me much. I could see what there was to appreciate there.

I asked David to wait on the roof for me and headed down into the building again. There wasn’t much combustible up here. The labs and workshops tended to be on the ground floor where delivery of supplies was simpler. I grabbed a wastepaper bin and an old – I hoped it was old – textbook from a bookshelf where it had been closed, protecting the pages somewhat from the sprinkler. Striking a piece of flint from one of the geology classrooms against my axe gave me enough of a spark to set the basket of paper burning. From there, I dropped it down the stairwell to see what was happening.

Dark, glistening and slowly moving, woody vines moved back and forth on the ground and first floors. The second seemed relatively clear, but probably wouldn’t remain so for long. It rather depended on how quickly the vines could grow without ultraviolet rays.

Mind you, considering where it had come from, it would probably do well enough from blood and guts, if it could find enough.

I just needed to find its potential source first and persuade them to leave before the plant could get at them and turn them from people into fertiliser.

I chased down the stairwell to the second floor, then down the corridor, checking one classroom after another.

Clear this time, which meant what came next would be somewhere between difficult and impossible.

Down another level where vines slithered across the floor. They reacted to my presence with vine tips rising up to stab at me. I struck down around my feet, severing the vines closer to the core of the plant. The pieces I sliced off writhed about aimlessly, giving me a relatively clean path.
I kept listening to my instincts. The first room I checked had my spidey senses jangling at me. I opened the door anyway to find a bunch of toothed protuberances snapping at me through a hole in the floor. I sliced my way through a couple of them before slamming the door shut on the rest.

The next two rooms gave me equally bad vibes, so I bypassed them. The fourth one felt different, so I opened it.

More of the teeth and quite a few tentacles, but not so many as in that first room. They were close to the door and had their attention directed towards the far end of the room where a group of terrified students and a couple of nearly equally terrified teachers crouched behind upturned desks.

I could have gone straight in, but I could see seemed a better way. I ignored their cries of protest as I shut the door on them and headed for the next room along.

No vibes here. I eased the door open and found it clear, for now. Judging a point on the wall close, but not too close, to the trapped students and staff, I let my axe do what axes are good at, other than hacking at gruesome enemies that is. It was only a partition wall and it splintered into nothing much after just a couple of blows.

Now it was the plant’s turn to scream in outrage as I pulled my rescuees through the shattered wall and into the presently empty classroom.

“This next bit isn’t going to be as much fun,” I said. “There are going to be vines all over the floor. Some are already chopped off and wriggling about aimlessly, others may try to attack, but I’ll keep them off, or at least try to. If we go in two groups, I’ll be better able to keep you safe.”

That set off instant pandemonium as everyone volunteered to be in the first group.

“Shut, the fuck, up,” I yelled with enough command in my voice to persuade them to do so. I divided the group into two with a sweep of the arm, then jiggled things slightly till I had one teacher in each group. Pointing at the right-hand group, I said,” You lot follow. The rest of you stay. I will be back.”

They did as they were told, and all went well until we reached the stairwell where tentacles and teeth aplenty reared up at us.

I sliced and danced until there was space enough then yelled at them to run past and all the way to the roof where someone was waiting for them. They didn’t want me to leave them, but they ran off when I yelled something vaguely threatening at them.

I stayed, fighting a rearguard until they were all above the level of the vines, then backed off into the corridor and back to my remaining charges.

Eight of them. Three guys, four girls and a teacher, also a guy. They stood wide eyed with terror and therefore useless. “Follow,” I said and headed down the corridor in the opposite direction.

At the far end was another stairwell. It didn’t go all the way to the roof, but it did go as far as the top floor. Spidey senses tingled moderately so I opened the door ready for a battle and found one waiting for me. Not so severe as at the other end of the building, but significant. This stairwell was closed in the centre, so not as many nasties could get past, however quite a few had climbed higher up the stairs than our level. I told my charges to wait and headed upstairs until I was ahead of the threat, then fought my way back downstairs.

Kicking the door open, I yelled, “Up to the top floor and wait.”

Once again, I fought a rearguard as they climbed up behind me, squealing at the severed tentacles wiggling about under their feet.

Yeah, tentacles, vines, it was hard to tell in the dark, so either or either (pronounced eether or eyether in case that doesn’t make sense).

The top corridor was clear as was the top part of the opposite stairwell, just. David was waiting to guide us off the top.

“Is that everybody?”

“If it’s not, the rest are dead,” I said. “We’ve done what we can.”

Down on the ground, Jen waved us over to where a man in military uniform with a rash of fruit salad on his chest looked on in awe.

“What the fuck is that?” he wanted to know.

“My friend here calls it a hellmaw,” I said. “It’s a crap name, but since he was the first to survive one, he gets to name it.”

“What can you tell me about it?” the man asked.

“Sorry, but who are you?”

“Lieutenant Henderson,” Jen said. “He’s the Rupert I was telling you about.”

“Your name’s Rupert?” I asked.

“No. Army slang for an officer. Rupert’s kind of a posh name so suggests an Eaton education. I actually went to Harrow, so not quite the pedigree. Now, if you don’t mind?”

I looked at David who reluctantly responded.

“Carnivorous plant,” he said. “Came through from the same place as the other monsters we’ve been fighting. Thrives off blood and ultraviolet light. Too much of the latter and it will outgrow its resources and die. Best thing we can do now that all the people are out is keep everyone back and wait till morning. If the last one I saw is anything to go by, it’ll grow to about four or five times its current size then fizzle out.”

“This is what you wanted to show me, Jen?”

“Up until an hour ago I had no idea this thing existed, but yes, it’s part of what we have to show you. Did you bring the UV spotlights?”

“Yes, but I don’t see what good they’ll do if that thing feeds of the stuff.”

“There may be other things,” I said. “If there’s space for them to get past that monster plant, our best protection against them will be the spotlights.”

He looked at Jen. “I’m taking a hell of a lot on faith here,” he said. “My neck on the line as much as anyone’s.”

“I know, Greg, but when have I ever steered you wrong?”

“I suppose you haven’t. Shown me some fucking weird shit, but it’s been genuine weird shit. Alright what do we do with this lot?”

“Send them home?” Jen asked me.

I had a niggle in the back of my neck.

“Maybe set up a couple of your UV spotlights over to one side and get them all to walk though first.”

“Is that necessary? I mean they’ve been through quite a bit.”

“I know, but they won’t really know we’re asking them to do anything special, and if there happen to be any nasties hiding in their midst, we’ll be better off finding them now rather than later when they start killing.”

As it happened, my precaution was unwarranted. All the students went through the UV without reacting and we were able to clear the grounds around the college without further unpleasantness.
With the civilians out of the way, David and I set up vantage points either side of the building to keep an eye on it. David’s dark vision was well developed from having spent so much time in it – the dark I mean – and some aspect of the power I’d been granted allowed me to see better and further in the low light. The lieutenant instructed his men to take orders from us and left us to it.

The situation felt like it had settled a little, and I was allowing myself a moment to relax when my phone rang.

I fished it out of my shoulder bag and noted Dad’s caller ID. I swore quietly to myself and lifted the phone to my ear.

“Hi Dad.”

“Whatever happened to home by ten o’clock?” He wasn’t happy.

“Sorry Dad. We’ve had something of a crisis at the college.”

“I don’t care. It’s a school night. You need to be in bed by now if you’re going to be awake enough to learn tomorrow.”

“Yeah, well I won’t be learning tomorrow. The college is going to be closed.”

“What? Why?”

“Hard to explain, but the main building is going to be unusable tomorrow and probably for some time to come. It’s unusable right now. All the evening classes had to be evacuated. We have the authorities here and I’ve been asked to stay around until things are resolved.”

“You’re talking rubbish. I’m coming down.”

“Suit yourself, but you won’t get near the place. Dad, I’ll know more tomorrow, and I’ll tell you about it then. In the meantime, please don’t make an issue of it.”

“I’ll be there in five minutes.”

“Whatever.” I hung up.

Five uninteresting minutes later, the phone rang again.

“I’m at the carpark. Why are their soldiers stopping me from coming closer?”

“No civilians on site Dad, I thought I told you.”

“And what are you if nit a civilian, young lady? If I can’t get in to you, you can certainly come out to me.”

“Sorry Dad, I’ve been asked to stay here. Call it consultation if you like. I’m fine, just a little tired. I’ll explain it all when I get home.”

“You’ll come and explain it to me now, young woman. I want to know why the police came round to the house earlier showing me traffic cam footage of you riding a motor scooter through the centre of the village at high speed without a crash helmet.”

“That’s something else I’ll explain in the morning. Dad, I have to go, I think something’s happening.”

It wasn’t just an excuse. I could make out some movement in front of the building.

I pointed it out to one of the soldiers nearby. He pointed one of the spotlights and turned it on.

Something thin and vaguely humanoid lit up in the beam momentarily then leapt back out of the dim purple light.

Fucking krrst.

“Full spread, with overlap, fifty yards closer to us.” I shouted. I’ll give them their due, they knew how to obey orders.

Hang on, what was that?

“David?” I spoke into the walkie talkie.

“What is it?”

“Krrst.”

“I know, I saw.”

“Try your UV lights on them.”

He did so. “Interesting. Wouldn’t have suspected that.”

Moments later, the spotlights he commanded came on. We co-ordinated our efforts until we had a complete loop lit up around the building.

I say lit. The spotlights only gave out a dim violet glow in the visible spectrum, just enough to see where they were pointed.

What I’d noticed was how radically the UV seemed to affect the krrst. The second the purple guide light touched their skin, they’d phase out of sight and leave a faint trail as they dashed towards the closest edge of the beam. From there they’d stay in sight and feel their way around the affected zones. Now we had the lamps overlapping all the way round the building, they had nowhere to go. One of them tried phasing out and dashing through, but just a few yards into the affected area, it stopped, flickered briefly into existence and retreated to safety.

“They should be pretty easy to take out from here,” David said over the radio.

“Yeah,” I replied, “except when we do, we’ll just be telling the Big Bad that they’ve failed.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s how we figured out how to open the portal in the other direction. When these guys die, some part of them goes back through the portal. As long as they’re alive, they’re not sending any feedback through. It might make him a little more cautious.”

“Doesn’t look that way.”

The comment followed immediately after an almighty roar heralded the arrival of a Fyarl demon. Larger than the one David and I had faced and strong enough to smash a hole through the side of the building, opening a gaping window through to the central mass of the hellmaw, which seemed to consist of a particularly large and nasty tooth lined mouth.

“What weapons do you have?” I asked the soldier next to me.

“We were told not to use conventional weapons, that they wouldn’t work.”

“Not on vampires and the like maybe, but anything that might smash the horns on that thing would be good.”

“We have a fifty cal machine gun.”

“Sounds just the thing. Aim at the horns. Fire.”

He gave the order and the night tore apart in a scream of gunfire, the muzzle-flash bright enough to diminish my night vision, even reflected off the surrounding vehicles and machinery.

The gunfire lasted no more than a couple of seconds. When it stopped, the top half of the demon’s head was missing and an equally brilliant flare of energy emerged from where its horns had been attached, accompanied by a diminishing wail as the demon shrank to nothing.

“Okay, so that worked,” I said to the nearest soldier. “I doubt it’ll have the same effect on that plant, put it’s going for the ultraviolet, so you may want to try something on it.”

The machine gun tore into the night one more time, slicing through the vines reaching out through the gaping hole in the side of the building. Hydra like, each severed vine was replaced moments later by two more. They reached out into the UV beams and the central body of the plant visibly swelled.

“Do you have any herbicide or other nasty gases that might affect plant life?” I asked.

He shook his head, swallowing. “We could shut off the ultraviolet,” he suggested.

“You don’t want to let those grey things out into the wild. Give us a few seconds.” I wasn’t sure we had a few seconds, but we had to try something. I picked up the walkie talkie. “Okay David, let’s try it your way.”

We ran towards the building from opposite sides, me brandishing my axe, David his daggers. The krrst weren’t used to being attacked and I had the heads off two before the rest vanished on me. I leapt back into the UV where an instant later one of the remaining monsters ran after me, flickering into existence as it entered the light. I stabbed it with the haft of my axe resulting in a highly gratifying explosion of guts that fortunately turned to dust before they reached me.

The others took a little longer since they were hiding in their alternate dimension.

“Move the beams closer to the building,” I yelled. It would mean feeding the hellmaw, but…

Two more krrst flickered into existence nearby. One ended with an axe slice through its neck, the other took the haft in its chest and erupted a little too close, covering me with its guts, which then dried out. The last krrst appeared about ten yards away. I threw the axe, embedding it in the back of its head, then covered the distance between us before it could recover, sticking it in the back with one of my heel spikes.

I retreated to the spotlight trucks.

“Fuck me,” the nearest soldier said.

“I’m a bit young for that, so no thanks, but I appreciate the offer.” I smiled in an effort to show him I was joking. David was down to his last one by the looks of it, and now done.

“Cut the spotlights,” I said into the walkie talkie, “but be ready to turn them back on.”

David was back on his side, keeping an eye on things.

“Vampires!” he yelled, “And greshnick!”

“Lights on!” I yelled and the sudden rush of vampires turned to dust as the ultraviolet licked over them. Even the greshnick struggled to make it through. One my side, two David’s.

I ran to face my threat before it could recover. It was still stopped and struggling to regain its feet when I reached it, vaulting over its head and stabbing it in the base of its spine even as I swung around with the axe to decapitate it. There was too much hellmaw on the ground now for me to keep going and help David, so I trusted him to cope, and ran back to the lights.

“Do you have an RPG or anything like that to try on the central mass of the plant?” I called.

He looked around for someone to give him permission. Honestly, it couldn’t have been much worse than the fifty cal, could it?”

“Do it!” Lieutenant Henderson barked out and seconds later a soldier with a tube full of high explosives was aiming into the building.

“Aim for the big mouth there in the middle,” I pointed.

“It’ll fuck up the building big time,” he replied.

“Not a lot of option at this stage,” I said and turned away, crouching to avoid whatever the shot was going to be like.

Not much more than a whooshing sound as it happened. I looked up to see the missile heading straight and true into the hellmaw’s, well maw I suppose. I closed my eyes as the explosion turned half of what remained of the building into rubble. By the time I looked up, the vines were writhing about uncontrollably, but they settled soon enough, lifting away broken bricks and concrete to reveal a distorted but still functioning core to the plant.

“Shit! What does it take to kill that thing?”

“Sunlight,” I said, “but we have a few hours to wait before that comes around. In the meantime we just have to keep it controlled, along with anything else that might come through the portal.”

“I thought you said those things thrived off ultraviolet light.”

“They do, unless they get too much of it.”

“Say again?”

“We need oxygen to survive, right?”

“Yeah,”

“But if we get too much oxygen, it can kill us. Kind of like when someone hyperventilates. The brain can’t tell the difference between too much or too little, so when it’s getting too much, it triggers you to breathe harder, until eventually you black out.”

“What are you saying?”

“Yes, young lady,” the lieutenant had approached while I was trying to explain.

“Look, Jen – that’s Miss Ephemeris – knows more about this than I do.”

She shook her head as eyes swivelled her way. “Don’t look at me. I’ve never seen one of these before.”

“Oh, right. That would be David then.”

“Who’s over the other side of the building,” she continued. “Sarah, please. We need information, and we need it now. If you know anything at all…”

“Right. Well, we know that portal leads to another dimension or another world or something.

“Yes,” Jen said impatiently. The others were looking at me a little like I’d gone nuts.

“Fine,” I said to the lieutenant, “you tell me where in this world any of those things might have come from.”

He shrugged but nodded.

“We know the light level on the other side is a lot lower than our world. The creatures that live there have no defence against ultraviolet light because they don’t have any, or at least not much, on their side. It means we can use sun beds to prevent them from coming through the portal…”

“You picked up on that, huh?” Jen asked.

I nodded. “Creatures who’ve been affected by the vampire parasite are especially susceptible.”

“The what now?” This was the soldier who’d been listening in.

“That last wave of attackers. The large majority are what we call vampires. Very fast, very strong, suck your blood if they can, which will infect you with parasite at the same time. Whether you die or not, the parasite will alter you physically and mentally and turn you into something very much like the thing that bit you.”

“Worse,” Jen added.

I ignored her. “The greshnicks are tougher. Different species, but also affected by the parasite, and the krsst which were those grey things. Really nasty. They can step into a different dimension next to this one and move in that one to reappear in a different place in this one. Kind of tough to fight, but as you saw, very susceptible to UV. As far as I can tell, they’re all infected with vampirism.”

“What about this plant thing though?” the lieutenant asked.

“Like all plants, it thrives on light, ultraviolet in particular. There’s enough in its world for it to get by, but if it comes into our world and finds an artificial source, like the ones we use to prevent other creatures coming though, it grows like mad. When the sun rises, it overdoses – grows out of control, beyond the other resources it’s been taking in, like water and nutrients. It grows to about four or five times its size in a matter of minutes, dries out and crumbles into dust.”

“How do you know all that?” Jen asked. “David?”

“Yeah. He was watching fifty odd years ago when your people tried locking a tethered portal with ultraviolet lamps. The hellmaw killed everything except the dog, I think he said, then it had this massive growth spurt and turned to dust.”

“So if we can give it a major dose of radiation, that would take it out?” Lieutenant Henson asked?”

“You’re not thinking of dropping an atom bomb on it, are you?” I asked?

“No,” he laughed. “At least not yet.”

My turn to give him a look.

“Joking,” he said. “It takes someone with a hell of a lot more clout than me to authorise a nuclear strike. What I do have access to is an argon flash device. Twenty-five-thousand-degree temperature and massive amounts of visible and ultraviolet radiation for about half a microsecond. You think that would be enough?”

“One way to find out,” I said.

“There wouldn’t be much left of your school.”

“There doesn’t seem to be much left as it is, but I guess it’s not my call to make.”

“No, it’s not.” A new voice from a new person. This one was Principal Piccolo. “Would anyone care to tell me what happened here?”

“Miss Ephemeris?” I offered since she was trying keep hidden in the shadows. I mean, come on, she was the adult here, and a staff member.

Piccolo looked across at Jen, his expression filled with expectation.

Jen gave me a sour look, then turned to the principal.

“You remember that incident a couple of weeks ago with Sarah, when she said she heard something down in the basement?”

Piccolo rounded on me. “This is you again, is it?” He asked.

“How could it be sir? I wasn’t even here.”

“She’s right, she wasn’t, but it turns out she was also right about there being something in the basement.”

“Something in the basement that did that?” He waved at the building, complete with vines sticking out of every window and a sizeable hole in wall nearest us.

“I think it’s grown in the past few weeks sir.”

“You don’t say? You said you couldn’t find anything down in the basement.”

“You didn’t give me a lot of time to look, sir. I wasn’t looking for a seed or a plant or whatever it was then.”

“What the hell happened to make it do this?” He asked.

“I couldn’t say sir. My friend, Nick, texted me to say all hell was breaking loose down here. He set off the fire alarm to get people out before it got too dangerous, and I came as soon as I could with another friend, David, who’s over the other side of the building. He said he’d come across something like this before and told me that we had only a few minutes to make sure everyone was out of the building.”

“Do tell me more.”

“Yes. I think Miss Ephemeris called for the military to come. I think she could already see that it was more than the police could handle. We couldn’t wait, so David and I went up the fire escape and looked for anyone who was trapped and got them out before they really were.”

“You’re not making any sense.”

“When we arrived, the plant thing had spread through the ground floor and the first floor. I found one class full of kids on the top floor and sent them up onto the roof where David was waiting to guide them to safety. I then went down to the second floor, which was in worse shape, and found another couple of classes trapped in one of the classrooms.”

“Trapped?”

“Some of the vines had broken through the floor. There was no way to reach them directly, so I used an axe to smash through from the next-door classroom. We escaped to the top floor via the western stairwell, then I kind of held off the vines on the eastern stairs while everyone went up to the roof, and from there down the fire escape.”

“And what on earth made you think you could survive running into a building overrun by that?”

“I guess I didn’t think, sir. I heard one of the teachers saying that not everyone was accounted for, and I just sort of reacted.”

“You were damned lucky, Miss Geller. Mind you, by the sounds of it, so were those people you rescued. Right now, I don’t know whether to yell at you or thank you.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Lieutenant Henderson interjected “but I can’t afford to let this thing spread. You’re the head teacher here I take it.”

“Principal Piccolo, yes.”

“Well, my apologies, sir, but that thing is growing out of control, and we have to do something to stop it now. Miss Geller has provided me with intelligence to suggest a method of attack. Unfortunately, it will cause a considerable amount of damage to the building. I’m afraid I don’t have the luxury of asking your permission. I have already called in an air strike which will be here in two minutes. I’m going to have to ask you to retreat at least a quarter of a mile.”

“What are you going to do?” Piccolo looked concerned.

“It’s called an argon flash device. It burns very hot and very bright for a very short period of time. There probably won’t be a great deal left of your college at the end of it, sir, but I’m hoping there won’t be much of the plant either.”

“Could I recommend people move back further than a quarter of a mile?” I suggested. “My friend, David, indicated that when the plant ODs on UV, it grows to about four or five times its size before it finally dies.”

“Half a mile it is then. Mr Piccolo, will you please organise any of your staff and students who’re still here while I sort out my troops? Please warn them to close their eyes when the weapon is released as there is a very real danger of permanent retinal damage.”

Two minutes barely seemed long enough. Admittedly, we were already some distance from the building, but by hustling people into a run, we were all behind the demarcation line when the lieutenant called out.

“Fire in the hole!”

I crouched with my back to the college building and closed my eyes tight shut.

The flash was brilliant, almost blinding, even through closed eyes, even with my back to it. It lasted the briefest moment and was gone. I opened my eyes and turned to see what was happening, only to find vines exploding from every window, smashing through walls, spreading across the gap separating us from what remained of the building, Thickening, growing, multiplying… Drying out, slowing, shrivelling… crumbling to dust.

“UV spots!” I yelled.

A soldier I recognised clambered up onto the back of a nearby truck and turned the spotlight towards the building. I jumped up after him, guiding his aim until it was pointing at the point where the portal had been.

Other spotlights lit up and trained on the same point. I called for them to spread out, to cover a wider area. I wasn’t sure how much point there was to our actions. The rubble covering the basement under the library had been heated until it melted. The heart of the school building was little more than a twisted mess of black glass shards. At the heart, where the centre of the hellmaw had sat, there was no hint of a sparkle.

“Nothing?” Jen said quietly from behind me.

“Not that I can see.”

“Hardly surprising. That last explosion and the death of his pet plant would have disrupted the ley lines in a big way.”

“So, what happens now?”

“We enjoy a few days rest from supernatural horrors, which means we’ll actually get to relax for Christmas.”

“You mean that was it?” I asked. “That was the threat Stuart told me about when this all started?”

“Well, I don’t think it’s over, but Stuart can keep an eye on the ley lines for now. I expect they’ll settle back into something like their original distribution by the end of the week.”

“So what then? Will the portal go back to being tethered under his shop, or it will return here?”

“Here would be my guess. An event like this is likely to cause the convergence to intensify rather than dissipate.”

“Meaning I’m going to have to set up a permanent camp around here to keep things contained,” Henderson said. He’d been standing nearby listening to us.

“It looks that way, Greg. Sorry about all this. I was hoping we’d be able to involve you sooner, before it all got out of hand. So much for keeping a lid on all things mystical.”

“Oh I shouldn’t say so. Not necessarily.”

“What do you mean? You saw how many people we had here, how many cameras were out filming all of this.”

“Yes, but this isn’t our first rodeo. It’s standard procedure to put a filter on all digital communication in an event like this. We’ve had a team of technicians filtering everything that was uploaded since you first reported it to me, corrupting the data. We leave enough of the original sound and video in there to show that something happened, but not enough to show exactly what.”

“And when half a hundred eyewitnesses start to give out their supporting stories?”

“Never underestimate the human capacity for self-deception. We have people who are very good at coming up with boring explanations for unbelievable events. You’ll see, the locals will be thanking us for sticking around by the time we’re done.”

“I look forward to hearing how you’re going to explain this away.”

“Okay, the official story is that the army has an underground store of toxic chemicals nearby, including a particularly unpleasant hallucinogenic gas. We detected a leak earlier and were on standby to respond as soon as we had an indication of where it reached the surface.

“Your call of a giant plant attacking the college was just the sort of thing we were waiting for. The black light spotlights helped us pick out the gas leak, the fifty cal and the RPG were attempts at igniting the gas and were partially successful, we just needed the argon flash to get rid of it all.”

“Isn’t it a bit unlikely that everyone would hallucinate the same thing?” I asked.

“She’s bright, this one,” he said to Jen. “I can see why you like her. The power of suggestion, Sarah – it is Sarah, yes? One person screams there’s a giant plant attacking the school, and everyone starts seeing their version of the same thing. Someone else yells, ‘Look, it’s a demon!’ and suddenly everyone’s seeing a demon.”

“Okay, I can see how that would work.”

“Anyway, your idea of passing everyone through a UV screening gave us an opportunity to ensure they were all given an injection as well. Harmless, other than it will make them all feel pretty lousy tomorrow. Enough to convince them that effects of the gas have been dealt with. We’ll say we want to maintain a presence here in case there are any pockets of gas we missed, probably build a containment shell over the remains of the college. There will be compensation. All affected individuals will receive a small payout – enough to pay off a university student loan for instance – and we’ll rebuild the college nearby. We have prefabs to get lessons up and running by the time you’re due to come back to school, which means you’ll have your Christmas break a little early this year.”

“Sounds like you thought of everything.”

“We believe so, but that’s not quite all of it. Jen tells me you have special experience fighting these sorts of things. You and your friend David.”

“Well, this plant thing is a first for me, but Davids seen them before.”

“Yes, it was his information that helped us destroy it, but those other things. The demon…”

“Fyarl demon. Next best thing to invulnerable, except all its power is in its horns.”

“Yes, and those, er…”

“Krrst. A type of vampire with the capacity to phase into a nearby dimension. Effectively, they vanish and reappear right next to you with those serrated arms sticking in your gut. They can’t see you anymore than you can see them when they’re phased, but they can kind of peak into this dimension from time to time. It looks like a sort of heat haze shimmer in the air that happens briefly at very regular intervals. If you know what to look for, you can predict where they’re going to come out. Plus I discovered tonight, they are very susceptible to ultraviolet whether they’re in our world or phased out of it.”

“You see, expertise we could really use. We’d like to have you consult for us in the coming weeks. Help us find effective ways of fighting these things.”

“Well, there’s only two other types of creature I have experience with. I don’t know about David.”

“I’ve talked to him. He won’t help unless you do too.”

“Well, I guess I’m in then, only after tonight I get the impression I’ll be grounded until I retire.”

“That was your father at the gates earlier, wasn’t it? I can see the resemblance. You have his bull-headed determination.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“Well, if you’ll let me drive you home, perhaps I can help get you airborne again.”

“What?”

Hang on, no! That’s Stuart’s line.

“The opposite of grounded?” he offered with a smile.

“What if…”

“The portal’s closed for now,” Jen said. “Stuart is keeping an eye on it, and we have your number if we need you.”

“Your teacher’s, right?” he said holding out a guiding hand. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

#

The lieutenant was as good as his word. He drove me home and accompanied me to the front door.

Mum had gone to bed, but Dad was still up and pacing when we arrived. Henderson didn’t allow him to get a word in but shook his hand and started praising me for my courage and initiative. The way he described it, I’d almost single-handedly saved the situation from becoming a real – and he apologised for his language – shit show. By the time he finished, Dad didn’t have a reason left to be angry at me.

Well alright, there was the thing with the scooter, but Henderson spun some story about people near the college being badly affected by the escaped gas and my doing what needed to be done to chase them down before things got out of hand. There had sadly been one death and one injury as a result of those affected, and it could have been a lot worse if I hadn’t acted as I had.

Overall, my actions before the army arrived had saved a considerable number of lives and he should be immensely proud of me. He apologised for my late return, but I’d needed some precautionary treatment as well as an extensive debrief prior to being released.

The lieutenant promised he’d smooth things over with the police, the scooter owner and anyone else who might have been affected. He said there would be quite a lot of compensation being paid out, and I’d most likely see a fair chunk of it.

For one thing, I’d already be getting the same compensation as the other students and staff present during the – ahem – unpleasantness. For another, since the college was going to be out of action until the new year, the army was particularly interested in hiring me for at least some of the time as a consultant. He mentioned the amount of money I’d be earning for just a week’s work and both Dad and I had coughing fits.

Dad’s no mercenary though. He took his parenting responsibilities seriously, perhaps a little too seriously for my liking, and wanted to know more details about what I’d be doing. Again the lieutenant came through in spades, leaving Dad with no room for objections.

“It’s been a long night for us all, Mr Geller,” Henderson drew things to a close. “I suggest we all get some sleep, you especially Sarah. I’ll send a car for you around noon tomorrow, I assume that’ll be give you enough time to sleep and pack?” I nodded. “Great, then I’ll see you when you arrive at the base.”

And that was it. Dad didn’t know how to talk to me after the lieutenant left, so he just gave me a pat on the shoulder and said he was off to bed.

I drank a couple of glasses of water and stood under the shower for half an hour, which meant another half hour drying my hair, but at least I felt clean. One soft, floaty nightdress and one comfortable bed. Add one exhausted me and you have a perfect recipe for instant unconsciousness.

Chapter 11

Mum appeared in my room about ten o’clock with the perfect cup of tea, which almost made up for only seven hours sleep.

“Your father’s been telling me what an amazing daughter we have. I’ll be honest, dear, I didn’t understand half of what he said, and the other half scared me out of my wits, but I couldn’t be prouder.”

I wasn’t so sure. Those didn’t look like tears of pride. I put the tea down and put my arms around her.

“Oh my,” she said after a very long moment. “Thank you for that, dear. I rather needed that.

“I understand you’re being collected in a couple of hours, so why don’t you come downstairs when you’re ready. We’ll do brunch then I can help you pack, if you like.”

“I’m ready now,” I said, my stomach growling in agreement. “And yes, a hand with packing would be appreciated.”

I told her as much about the previous night as I felt she could manage. Hearing from Nick about what was going on, running to the college, finding out there were still people inside, Seeing the tentacles coming out of all the ground and first floor windows and doors then running for the fire escape, finding a fire axe and using it to break the lock to the roof access, finding the first group of students and sending them up to David, then heading down to the second floor where I’d come across the larger group of students with their teachers, surrounded by the plant.

“Of course, it was all just an illusion brought on by the gas, but it felt very real. I managed to get to them through the wall of the classroom next door and get them out of the building.”

“But if it was only an hallucination, were they in any real danger?”

“Lieutenant Henderson said yes. Apparently, it’s quite possible to scare yourself to death. Besides which, the only way of getting rid of the gas was to burn it up. Anyone inside the building when they dropped that bomb would have been incinerated.”

“Couldn’t they have sent people in with gas masks?”

“As I understand it, the gas affects you even if it contacts your skin, but yes, they could have used hazmat suits, only the lieutenant thinks that any help he could have offered would have been too little and too late.”

“Oh my! But that could have been you too.”

“I’m not so easily scared, Mum. I fight vampires for a living, remember?”

“Hush. Your father’s in his office, and I do not want him learning about that.”

“Sorry Mum.”

“Anyway, have you eaten enough? We should probably get you packed. You go and get dressed while I lay out a few things.”

I felt like dressing conservatively, so I picked out a knee length dress with a pretty floral design, along with all the necessary to wear under it and jumped into the shower. It didn’t take long, but apparently long enough for Mum to have dug out every other piece of demure clothing I owned.

I couldn’t help smiling as I took out the Irish dancing costumes and battle shoes Stuart had provided for me. I also grabbed a few short skater skirts and tee-shirts as well as a few pairs of short shorts.

“I’m not sure we’ll fit all of that in the case, dear,” Mum said.

“Well, I’d be happy to do without the nun’s habits, Mum.” I picked up a couple of ultra conservative outfits and put them to one side.

“Are you sure you want to take those?” she pointed at my more revealing choices. “I mean you do know you are going to be surrounded by a lot of young and, er, virile, shall we say, men.”

“Who will have been instructed that I’m off limits.”

“Yes, but it wouldn’t be fair to tease them like that, would it?”

I relented and put back the skimpiest of my skirts.

“There you go, tasty but not irresistible. Good enough for you?”

“I hope so.” She started to load up a couple of small suitcases, folding everything carefully. I put together a fairly bulging wash bag, complete with creams for nighttime and a few bits of makeup. We were ready with ten minutes to spare.

Which was as well because my driver arrived on the dot of twelve.

Dad came out of his office to say goodbye. He gave me a hug like he never expected to see me again.

“Dad, I’m only going to gone be a week.”

“It feels like the beginning of something more,” he said. “I know what I said a day or two ago, but when you get back, maybe we can talk about, you know, after your birthday.”

“Sure.”

“Don’t…”

“…do anything you wouldn’t want me to do. Not totally promising Dad, but I’ll try.”

He nodded. I picked up the suitcases, which didn’t feel as heavy as they should have, and headed out to the disappointingly non-descript car waiting on the drive.

The driver stepped out of the car as I appeared in the doorway. He wore combat trousers and a green tee-shirt, which wasn’t much different from half the guys at college. If it hadn’t been for the buzz cut and the ramrod straight posture, he might have passed for one. He hefted my suitcases into the boot of the car without any effort.

“You know you’re only going to be with us a week, don’t you?”

“Sure, but I like a slightly more varied wardrobe than you lot work with.” I gave him a sparkly smile in case he thought I was being bitchy.

“You’re not what I expected, ma’am.”

I slid into the front passenger seat next to him. “Yeah,” I said, “for one thing I’m not a ma’am, so unless this car is bugged and you’re under some sort of orders, it’s Sarah. Miss or Miss Geller if you absolutely have to be formal.”

“Mark,” he said offering me a hand, “or Sergeant Finn if you absolutely have to be formal.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mark. Isn’t sergeant a bit of a high rank for a chauffeur?”

“You could argue that way, but then again, rank has its privileges and when I heard who it was we were being sent to collect, I may have taken advantage of mine a little.”

He had such an adorable smile, I couldn’t help laughing. “So do we have far to go to get to your base?”

“You should know. We’ve actually set up a temporary camp at your old college, or what’s left of it. Mind you, I think you’ll be impressed with how much it’s changed since last night.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, we can move pretty quick when we have to. Your Miss Ephemeris mentioned it was important to isolate the centre of the trouble as soon as possible, so the lieutenant had a platoon of Royal Engineers in to do their thing as soon as the sun came up this morning.”

“That was another of Jen’s ideas? Miss Ephemeris, I mean?”

“Yes, ma’am – sorry, miss; force of habit. She said no-one should go near the wreckage in the dark, just keep the black light spots on it.”

“You mean the UV spotlights? I kind of like black lights though. Where did that come from?”

“It’s an old-fashioned way of saying it, I think. My dad organised this kind of black light disco thing for one of my birthdays when I was a kid. Fluorescent signs painted everywhere. The whole place was dark except for the things that glowed in the UV. It was kind of sick.”

“Didn’t you sort of keep bumping into everyone?”

“No,” he laughed. “The UV causes all sorts of things to glow, like starch in clothing. Other chemicals too. Certain drinks glow weird colours in it. It was hard to see people’s faces, I remember, except where they used special makeup. Just all the colours were psychedelic and wild.

“You know UV is used for all sorts of things. Useful for keeping an keeping an eye out for unfriendlies in certain situations. It’ll show up the starch used in most military uniforms or the chitin in spider and scorpion carapaces. It’s also used to look for certain fluids, you know like blood, urine and semen.”

“Ew, TMI.”

“Sorry, I thought you were interested. You’ve seen CSI, when they use UV torches to examine crime scenes.”

“Yeah, don’t they spray something first?”

“Luminol. It’s a chemical that becomes highly fluorescent in the presence of blood, so even if there are only trace amounts that you can’t see with the naked eye, for instance after a place has been scrubbed clean, it will still show up.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying, Sarah, but you’re really not the sort of person I was expecting. I mean, don’t take offence, please, but you strike me as kind of dainty, you know, not the sort who’d care to get your hands dirty.”

I inspected him for a moment. “You don’t look like the sort of person who’d kill someone.”

“What? I never… I mean…”

“It’s alright, I believe you. But if you were ordered to shoot someone, you’d do it, wouldn’t you?”

“I… Yes, I suppose I would.”

“Kind of the same here. I may not like what I do, but it needs to be done, and since I’ve been given these abilities which makes me pretty much the only person able to do what I do, I kind of get on and do it.”

“It’s still hard to believe.”

“Well, I suppose seeing will have to be believing. Like that. That, is, amazing!”

We’d just pulled into the college carpark. The entire remains of the main building, which had been about one hundred yards by fifty yards and four stories tall, now lay under a substantial geodesic dome.

“Yeah, quite something. Gorilla glass and seven-oh-six-eight grade aluminium alloy.”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Strongest aluminium alloy in use. It’s going to take something special to get through that.”

“Believe me, they have something special.”

He looked at me disbelievingly.

“You see the wreckage inside the dome?”

“Yeah, it was one of our bombs did that.”

“Not quite. All the melted glass bit in the middle was down to your bomb. The thing that tore down most of the building was a kind of highly mobile plant in its death throws. Before that, there was a demon kind of thing, fifteen-sixteen feet tall, that smashed a hole in the wall two stories tall and about as wide.”

“You’re shitting me! Sorry.”

“No shit, and no need to apologise. Unless you’re not supposed to know these things, in which case it’s me that should apologise.”

“Oh no ma’am – miss – I’m here to train with the rest of the guys.”

He climbed out of the car and came round to hold my door open for me. Screw feminism, I could get used to this kind of thing.

“I’ll need one of my cases, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure,” he said, and opened the boot. “Which one?”

I pointed and he retrieved it, carrying it for me until we arrived at a group of recruits standing around David, who’d requested a pane of gorilla glass and was punching it like his life depended on it. His fists were bleeding.

I ran over to him and put out an arm to stop him.

“They need to know how inadequate that thing is,” he said.

“And you need to remember you’re not like one of them anymore. You don’t mend as quick for one thing.” I lifted his hand to show him. “Besides, you may not have beaten the glass, but you sure as hell beat the guys holding it.”

There were two of them, and they were the biggest there. Maybe eight inches taller than David and four or five stone of muscle mass heavier. They were looking stunned and grateful for the save. I turned to the guys standing about.

“The vampires that come through the portal have all the strength and speed David has, and if they feel pain, they don’t care. Wounds like this,” I showed them David’s bloody fists, “would have healed in the time it’s taken me to say this. If that glass had been held rigid in a frame, like in the dome, it’s possible he would have at least cracked it. You guys are pretty impressive,” I said to the two holding the glass, “but you’ve a bit of give in you even so.”

The crowd responded with a gentle laugh.

“Anyone have a first aid kit?” I asked.

“I don’t need it,” David said as I accepted the kit and took out a bandage.

“Yeah, but if you think I’m going to let you get blood all over my dress, you have another think coming.” I nodded for the guy who’d brought me the kit to bandage up his left hand while I did the right. “You think you could take these guys on without damaging them too much?”

The crowd laughed again.

I looked at them with a smile of my own. “You think I’m joking. I didn’t know we were coming here today, so I need to change into my combat gear. I’m going to disappear into those bushes for a few minutes. While I’m changing, and I’m trusting you not to peak, you pick out your strongest, your fastest, your best hand-to-hand fighters, and you match them up against David here. One-on-one at first if you think that’s fair, then all at once when you realise it’s not.

“Tap out early, because even though he will be pulling his punches, he gets a bit enthusiastic at times and he can fuck you up a lot easier than you think. You saw what he was doing to the glass. Imagine yourself in its place.”

From my refuge in the trees I heard several comments along the lines of, ‘What the fuck?’, ‘Where the fuck did he go?’, ‘Fuck, he’s fast!’ and “Ow, fuck, ow! Okay, okay, tapping out! Fuck!’ Then lastly, ‘Jesus fuck! Ow, shit!’ as I finished changing and reappeared in my Irish dance gear, complete with battle shoes.

“You guys done fucking about?”

David was standing in the middle of three guys, all on their arses. One was the bigger of the guys who’d been holding the glass. The other two were smaller and more wiry. They were all rubbing some part of their anatomy.

“What the fuck are you supposed to be?” the other beefcake asked. “I mean I get what this guy’s about, but this is just taking the piss.”

“Vampires have been around since the Dark Ages,” I said, “or so I understand. There have been people figuring out the most effective way of fighting them for pretty much all of that time. It took them a while to find something that works, and they’ve been refining it for several centuries. I don’t think they’ve improved it much in the last six hundred or so years, and what they’ve settled on is pretty much what you’re looking at.

“I’m guessing most of you guys ended up on the ground because David grabbed an arm and threw you. You’ve seen how astonishingly fast he is. If he’d been trying to kill you, he’d have torn your arms off. If he’d been trying and having fun, he’d have beaten you to death with the soggy end. That’s why my fighting style keeps my arms by my sides.”

“What the fuck do you do then? Bore them to death?”

I picked out the joker easily enough since he was the one with the shitfaced grin while everyone else was laughing. I walked up to him, kicking the toe of my right shoe on the ground and bringing my foot up with a lightning strike that left the razor-sharp edge of my heel just breaking the skin of his neck. I withdrew my leg and kicked him in the chest, using the ball of my foot.

“Not usually,” I said, “but I’ll be sure to keep it in mind if more usual methods don’t work.”

I turned my back on him, retrieved my heel sheath, slid it back on.

I’d half expected the attack because I’d humiliated him in front of his mates, so when my spidy senses tingled, I didn’t even have to duck much to dodge him. I gave him a full boot-full up the backside – well shoe-full up the shitter if you prefer, but that’s a bit crude – which landed him face first in the grass.

“Do you want to keep on doing this?” I asked as he scrambled to his feet, “or do you want to see what a real vampire fight looks like?”

He charged at me. I sighed and settled into my modified dance. Soft grass meant I didn’t have the option of putting my heels down. Even sheathed, they’d tend to dig in, so I kept on the balls of my feet, swung twisted and somersaulted my way out of his grasp, landing a blow each time.

“Spike in the heart,” I said as my flying kick caught him high in the back. He recovered and charged again. I ducked and flew into a scissor kick. “Cut through the spinal cord. Not enough to kill a vampire, but it will stop it for a few seconds. Give you a chance to kill it properly.” I could have dodged the next leap, but this was demo time. I fell backwards with my hands above my head, caught myself and sprung into his leap. “Double spike to the heart,” I said pushing him onto his back, then leapt into a spinning leap that brought my heel down across his throat. I pulled that one because I didn’t want to cause too much harm. “And that would be a decapitation if I had my heel blades out.” I contorted myself and twisted until I was upright and standing over him, stepping away so he didn’t have quite such a free view up my skirt, then offered him my hand.

He tried to yank me down, but again the tingle at the back of my brain warned me. I stooped, braced and pulled and he pretty much succeeded in pulling himself upright into an unbalanced stance which would have landed him on his face again had I not held him back.

“Had enough?” I asked. “Because I won’t hold back so much if you want to continue.”

“No, no, I’m good.” He held his arms up defensively. “And I apologise for what I said earlier. We didn’t know why you were part of this, but I think we get the idea now.”

I turned to David. “Shall we show them what this is really about?”

“If you like?”

“Don’t hold back.”

“You sure?”

“Well, I don’t intent to, apart from keeping the blades tucked away that is.”

He rushed me, blindingly fast, but once again my threat detector gave me early warning. I tripped into a brief blur of movement and sidestepped his attack. My last minute swerve would have given him a hold on my ankle had I tried the same trick of kicking him as he went past, but I knew I was against someone serious here.

We exchanged blows for ten minutes with neither of us getting close to the other. It occurred to me he’d been watching me fight for weeks now, so he probably knew all the moves I’d trained to use. This needed something different. I feinted into one of my rarely used manoeuvres. He responded to it in a way that was guaranteed to block it and give him an opportunity to take a swipe at me, only I pulled myself out of the jump at the last moment, straining myself to twist around to where I wanted to be. He saw my intention at the last moment and tried to pull away, which meant my heel struck him in his back a little lower than I’d intended. He dropped in evident pain.

I landed clear of him and held a ready stance. I still wasn’t sure how much control he had when he was full involved in a battle. I could see the animal rage in his eyes as he rounded on me, but he fought it, and I actually watched the person inside rise to the surface and take over.

“That wouldn’t have ended it,” he said.

“No, but I think it worked well for a demonstration, don’t you think?”

There wasn’t a closed mouth among our spectators, except for Lieutenant Henderson who was advancing on us with an admiring smile on his face.

“David knows my moves,” I said to the crowd, “which is why it took a while. That last was something of a wrench to my body because I started a move I expected him to recognise and respond to, then I twisted about and turned it into something that gave me a shot at him. As it was he saw the danger at the last moment. If my blades had been out, I’d have stabbed him in the kidney, which wouldn’t have done him a lot of good, but it wouldn’t have even slowed down a real vampire.

“They really are that fast and that strong, but they don’t think so much. Even so, I hope this demonstration was enough to show that you do not want to get into close quarters with them. I don’t know your tactics that well, but you should maybe come up with something that has you keeping your distance and firing from more than one location at a time. If just one of you has a go, chances are they’ll dodge your bullets long enough to get to you. The more you have from different directions, the harder it’ll be to avoid your shots.”

“Will bullets work on them? I mean doesn’t it have to be wooden stakes?”

“I don’t know. These are not the vampires of mythology, or rather maybe they are, but with less of the Dark Ages superstition mixed in. It’s possible metal will do the trick, though back then they would have had steel-bladed weapons, and they knew decapitation worked. I have to think they’d have tried stabbing as well, but I’m not sure how great their anatomy would have been back then, so who knows how many of them would have missed the heart?”

“But wouldn’t they need to know where the heart was for a stake to work?”

“Yes, I guess so. David, I’m just guessing here. Anything to contribute?”

“I was stabbed a few times with both stake and blade. Fortunately for me they missed the heart every time. Less fortunately for them. A blade’s thinner than a stake, so maybe easier to miss the target or maybe it doesn’t cause as much damage.”

“Except the stake has to get through the ribs,” one of the soldiers said.

“Not difficult if you have the strength.”

“We’ve both staked vampires with demon horn, and that worked really well.”

“Demon horns have their own power,” David said. “They’re different.”

“So maybe wood has power as well. I suppose the answer is we don’t know. It’s possible that Miss Ephemeris might know more, otherwise feel free to experiment and report back to us.”

“Or make use of the specially crafted rounds I’ve had made for you,” the lieutenant said, dropping an ammo box on the ground in front of his troops. “Metal jacket around a hardwood centre. Designed to break open and splinter on impact.”

“Oooh, juicy. Do they have holy water in them too?” It was the joker trying to regain a little street cred.

“Not as such, but I’m sure the padre would be happy sprinkle some on if you think it might help.

“Have you done with your demonstrations for now? Because I have one of my own I’d like to show you.”

“We covered basic vampires,” I said, “but there are a few extra we could go through.”

“Briefly then. These guys have been briefed on most of what you told me yesterday.”

“Greshnicks,” I said.

“Which are?”

“Like vampires on steroids. Stronger, faster, harder to hurt. I think they’re a different species because their weak point is a second brain or brainstem at the base of their spine. They heal really quickly, even there, so the trick, if you can’t get to their heart or neck directly, is to hit the secondary brain which will paralyse them from the waist down temporarily, then make use of the few seconds that gives you to go in with a killing stroke before it gets up.”

“Noted. What next.”

“Fyarl demon.”

“Like the one that came through the wall last night. Go for the horns with something juicy like the fifty cal.”

“Okay, krrst.”

“Ultraviolet light to pin them and show up where they are. Time when they come out of phase and have a bunch of violence waiting for them when they do.”

“I guess so. Hellmaw.”

“Don’t give them any UV if you can help it. Keep them small and chop ‘em up if you can. Otherwise give them too much UV and stand back.”

“Yeah, okay. Well, I suppose I don’t have much else to offer after all. There is one more that we’ve encountered, but we have no idea how to touch it. I don’t know if you’ve encountered anything else in your time, David.”

“You didn’t mention the manticores.”

“Seriously?” one of the soldiers asked.

“Yeah. Not quite as per mythology. They are about the size of a horse but cat like with a sting in the tail, literally. They use the tail like a whip, also literally, meaning they can spray droplets of venom at you. We don’t know what happens if it gets you because in the one fight we had with them, we avoided it. Suggest you do the same. They also have nasty teeth and claws and loose skin around the neck making it tough to remove their heads. More animal than anything, so I would expect them to be vulnerable to any weapons you have, but they are wicked fast.”

“There are quite a few others I’ve faced that you haven’t seen yet,” David chipped in, “but they’re rarer, so I’d say we save them for later in the week.”

“Okay, if we’re done for now,” Lieutenant Henderson said, “would you gentlemen collect your weapons and a half dozen magazines of the new ammo each and follow me.”

The soldiers collected their guns and magazines quickly enough and we followed their commanding officer down to the dome where Miss Ephemeris was waiting for us. She held the case with my axe in it.

“You may want this,” she said, “but thanks for these.” She showed me the horn daggers, now with a small prism attached to each.

Inside the dome we made our way as a single group towards the glassy spikes at the centre. When we arrived, Henderson waved to indicate Jen should take the lead.

“Last time we did this, we attracted the attention of something very large and powerful. I may have overdone it with the power then, so I’m hoping these will sneak in under the radar, however if we end up with the same issue, I do have a failsafe.” She handed me one of the modified daggers. “Press here to activate it, and here to disconnect the prism. Since you were the least affected last time, let’s put you in control.”

To the group as a whole she said, “I’m not sure if we need to be close to the portal in order for this to work, or if the portal needs to be in the dark, but let’s try without. If it works you should have a sneak preview of what’s waiting on the other side. Be ready for an unpleasant shock.”

I activated the spying device, and a small window appeared in front of it. Last time, it had half filled the room. This time it was about as big as a person’s head. As before, it showed an immense, gloomy plain filled mainly with vampires and the occasional bigger nasty. Nothing nearby that I didn’t recognise, and no manticores that I could see, or hellmaws for that matter.

“Walk around it,” Jen said. “You’ll be able to see in all directions. If you spot anything standing thirty feet or so tall with a face full of eyes and no mouth, let me know. As far as we can tell, that’s their commander, and he is one unpleasant son of a bitch.”

“That’s a fuck load of bad guys,” Joker said.

“Okay, Sarah, that’s enough for now.”

I nodded at Jen and pressed the button to deactivate the spying device.

“I didn’t see him. Any ideas where he might be?”

“No, I’m just glad he wasn’t there this time.”

“Okay,” Henderson said, “for my next demonstration, I’d like you troops to take up positions about fifty yards back. Miss Ephemeris, would you accompany me to a point of safety behind them. David and Sarah, please prepare yourselves to fight.”

I exchanged glances with David who shrugged and drew his daggers. I unsheathed my heel blades and held my axe single handed by my side.

I’m not sure what the lieutenant did, but the glass above and around us darkened. In the centre of the spikey glass bowl in front of us, the familiar glitter of the portal appeared, but covering a considerably larger volume than usual.

Vampires began to appear as they realised they had a way through into our world. Slowly at first, then as they discovered how large the portal was, they began arriving in more alarming numbers.

David and I were able to keep them at bay to start with, but their numbers doubled every minute or so, and soon enough we were fighting back to back and easing away from the portal.

Then things turned south in a big way as three greshnick appeared side by side.

“What the hell are you doing?” I heard Jen screaming. “You need to shut this down right now.”

“Just a little longer,” Henderson said. “Okay guys, open fire.”

The inside of the dome was large, but even so, the sound of several dozen automatic rifles firing away in the enclosed space deafened me. Vampires were disappearing into dust all around us as the new ammunition proved its effectiveness. It eased the pressure on David and me enough that we were able to add our own damage to the mayhem. We continued backing away though, because we needed a clear field before attempting to take on the greshnicks.

That wasn’t the lieutenant’s plan though.

“Time to take down the big guys,” he called, and three shots rang out, each one fell to the ground, legs temporarily paralysed. “Cages!” he yelled, and half a dozen massive steel cages craned out of nowhere. Three were lowered over the disabled greshnicks, the other two dropped on a mass of vampires, each crushing several and capturing at least one.

Vampires were still pouring through the portal, most of them turning to dust as the army marksmen kept up a steady rate of fire. David and I were just about keeping up with those that remained, but the numbers were still increasing, and any moment we could find ourselves facing something worse than a greshnick.

“Shut them!” Henderson yelled and shutters closed over the cages. Moments later the light level in the dome increased and the last vampires through the portal fell screaming and writhing as the ultraviolet light burned away their skin.

Ravenous monsters or not, I couldn’t stand the screaming. I ran to each of them and gave them a coup de grace with my axe. David joined me in the clear up after a second.

The enclosed cages started jumping about like toys as their captives, now recovered from their injuries, started smashing against them, seeking to escape. One giant fist burst through a shutter and the creature roared in pain as the daylight began eating at its skin. It withdrew into the darkness and quieted, calling out to its companions in some incomprehensible language of guttural snarls. The three of them quieted.

“What the fuck was that?” Jen screamed at Henderson, batting at him in that entirely girly way that shows displeasure without actually causing any significant damage.

“That was an experiment on several levels,” Henderson said. “Firstly, it shows we can control opening and closing the portal. Daytime, we can filter out the UV, nighttime we use the black light spotlights in the gantries up there. Secondly, we have ourselves a few monsters to examine. I’ll admit I was only intending to grab a handful of vampires, but when Sarah mentioned these greshicks, I just had to have one. Three is a bonus.”

“And just what do you intend doing with them?”

David and I were approaching at a fast walk, almost there.

“Experimentation seems like a good start. We know from what we’ve seen, we can control them with UV. We need to see what else works. Thirdly, I wanted to see how effective the new ammunition was, and you can see it worked pretty well, and lastly, and this was unexpected, we can see that the portal has increased significantly in size. That’s new information, and something we need to factor in.”

I arrived just ahead of David, just as the lieutenant stopped talking. I snapped out a punch, full strength, and broke his nose. He ended up on his arse.

The soldiers, who’d been approaching, broke into a run. Henderson held up a hand waving them off and struggled to his feet. His breath wheezed and his face wasn’t as attractive as it had been. The guy who’d helped me bandage David’s hands went to him and pulled his nose straight with an audible crack, prompting a yell of pain.

“This was supposed to be a training exercise,” I yelled. “I mean, sure, taking on a few would have been instructive, but you let it get out of control.”

“It was never out of control.”

“You had David and me outnumbered out there…”

“At which point I ordered my men to start firing…”

“With untested weaponry.”

“I could have opened the filters any time…”

“Without knowing whether they would have the desired effect.”

“I was pretty sure.”

“Sure enough to put a couple of civilians at risk?”

“You’re hardly civilians…”

“We’re not in your fucking army, and we don’t go looking for this sort of trouble.”

“But if we hadn’t done this you wouldn’t know about the portal increasing in size, would you? You’d have gone on your next patrol and ended up in a situation like this one, without backup.”

“Well…” He was right, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. “You had no right to put us in that situation.”

“Under normal circumstances, no. Maybe not even under these circumstances. But you showed us what’s on the other side of that portal trying to get through. This is as close to a war as we’ve faced in a lot of years, and I’m going to have a hard time selling it to my superiors. Less so now that I have some hard evidence to show them, as well as some effective weapons to report. You’re going to need a lot of help if they break through like you say they’re trying to, which means I’m going to have to convince a lot of very unimaginative people that we’re facing a credible threat.

“I apologise for putting you in danger, but I had as much faith in you and David as I did in my men and the systems we put in place here. I can see you’re upset, so maybe we should take the rest of the afternoon off.”

“Why did you have me pack for a week before bringing me ten minutes’ drive from my parents’ house?”

“This site is cordoned off. No-one in or out without my say so. It’s easier to control the spread of information this way, and we need to avoid a panic.”

“Well, on your say so, you’re going to let me off this fucking site and drive me home.”

“I can’t do that, Sarah. Your parents are expecting you to be away for a week, so you’re here with us for the duration.”

“You’re violating my legal rights.”

“Only in as much as I’m entitled to do so.”

“So, what are you going to do if I walk away? Shoot me?”

“I’d prefer to avoid that if I could, and I do have other ways of subduing you. They’re not particularly pleasant, but I’ll use them if I feel you’re putting the security of this site at risk, or if I feel you’re about to injure me or any of my men.

“We’ve a number of tents behind the dome. You and Miss Ephemeris are sharing one, David is to have another. Where is David?”

We looked around, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Sergeant Gates, go find him,” Finn ordered.

The Lieutenant turned to me. “Let the sergeant here take you to your tent now. Your luggage will be with you shortly and we’ll let you know when food is ready.

“Oh yes. Your phones won’t work. We have jammers set up around the camp as standard.”

“So, we are being held prisoner? What are you going to do when you find David? Shoot him?”

“Of course not. We’ll persuade him to come back...”

“At gunpoint? You’ve seen how he fights, and I doubt he’s all that happy with you guys right now.”

“Well, we’ll have to see how things turn out, won’t we? As for your being prisoners, I’d prefer to say guests, detained on matters of national security. By the end of the week, you’ll be convinced that we’re doing the right thing here. I mean, your Miss Ephemeris did call us in, so she must think we’re worth the effort, even if she doesn’t particularly like my methods at the moment.

“You should take some time away from all this to talk things through. We are on the same side here, just our methods are a little different.”

#

As tents go, it was fairly spacious. We each had a camp bed and a folding desk and chair. Jen had only brought the one suitcase, but then that was her choice. True to what Henderson had told us, our phones weren’t picking up any signal.

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this,” Jen said, sitting on her bed.

“Yeah, I’m not sure that was really your intention when Nick and I sat in your try outs making fun of you.” I was taking the opportunity to change out of my fighting clothes and back into something more comfortable. Skirt and top for one thing, flats for another.

She laughed, short and quietly. “You know I’d entirely forgotten about Mitchel.”

“It’s okay, so have I. And it was worth being dragged into all this if only for the upgrade.”

“You’re not freaked out by it all?”

“I was a bit at first, but I like who I am now a lot more. I’m not so keen on all the fighting, but I can live with it as a price for becoming this version of me. I mean I’m a lot tougher than most girls, and I seem to be changing still. A week ago I doubt I could have broken anybody’s nose.”

“Yeah, he so deserved that.”

“What do you think expanded the portal like that?”

“Well, we’ve been expecting that to happen anyway, but in the past it’s happened more gradually. I’d say it could only have been one thing, don’t you think? That bomb of his.”

“Sure, I mean that’s the only significant thing that’s happened since it opened to let the hellmaw through.”

“I really don’t like that name.”

“Devil’s snare?”

“You might be wandering into areas of copyright infringement there. Fine we’ll go with hellmaw. So, high temperature or intense ultraviolet?”

“I have no idea. We should maybe talk to Mr Giles.”

“Chance would be a fine thing. At the very least we’d need a phone signal.”

“Or maybe ask for him to be brought here, along with whatever books he thinks might help.”

“Then he’ll be trapped in here with us.”

“Yeah, but which is better? Him out there with no idea what’s going on, or him stuck in here with his books, possibly able to advise.”

“You make a good point.”

“Besides, he’ll most likely have Nick and Laurel with him, won’t he?”

“Well, Nick was helping him with his research, and he’d taken most of his books back from the college so he could work at home, and Laurel finished all the work we were doing on the prism devices, so it’s possible.”

“So, if I can get a message to Nick and tell him I can’t call and to remember what we used to do back when my dad wouldn’t let us meet up during the holidays.”

“And what’s that?”

I showed her the Morse code app on my phone. “Type in the message and hit send, the flashlight does the rest.”

“And what happens when the guards spot someone flashing Morse code messages?”

“I use a rolled-up piece of paper to hide the light, except in the direction of his bedroom window, and he responds one flash yes, two flashes no. When Dad had me grounded, he knew I was bright enough to try something like that, so he’d keep an eye on Nick’s house. An occasional flash didn’t rouse any suspicions, especially if he was swinging the torch about rather than switching it off and on.”

“You really used to do that?”

“Yeah, Dad used to ground me quite a bit when I was younger. Nick and I used to get in a lot of trouble, except Nick used to get off most of the time, while I’d end up in my room on short rations, so we came up with this method. Nick types the dots and dashes into his phone as I flash them out to him and it translates them for him. We actually got good enough at Morse that we didn’t need the translation app in the end.”

“I thought you said he sent one flash yes, two flashes no.”

“When I was grounded. We’d exchange full Morse messages when we were just chatting late at night.”

“Fine, if you think it’ll help.”

“I do.”

So, we found us a soldier who conveyed our request to the lieutenant, who then came to see us. He gave us a good looking over as though we we’re trying something on, but Jen was ready for him.

“Look, it’s like you said, we’re in this together. You don’t have anything useful for us to do right now, so why not bring in Mr Giles and his books? We could at least be looking for a few clues as to what happened to the portal.”

“I’d also be grateful if you could pass this to my friend Nick,” I chipped in, handing him an unsealed envelope. “He may or may not be with Mr Giles. We kind of talk every day usually, so he’ll be wondering why I haven’t contacted him.”

He took the note out and read it.

“So, what did you do when your dad wouldn’t let you meet up, and what’s the significance of Pegasus?”

“Oh, we’d pick out a constellation and look at it. Just knowing that we were both doing the same thing kind of helped.”

“Boyfriend, is he?”

“Well, he’s a boy and he’s a friend. We’ve known each other since before we were interested in that sort of thing, so I think we’d find it weird crossing that line now.”

“Fine, I don’t see why not. I’ll send a car for Mr Giles in a while. He can share David’s tent. I imagine he’ll be here after we’ve eaten, which will be in an hour or so. In the meantime, is there anything you’d like to talk to me about?”

“We’ve been discussing the size of the portal,” Jen said. “We think it may have been had something to do with that flash bomb you used. Either the high temperature or the radiation.”

“Okay.”

“So if they send another hellmaw through, you can’t use anything like it to take it out.”

“Understood.”

“If they do send through another hellmaw, you won’t be able to use the UV spots to keep the portal closed, which means they’ll be able to send through a fuck load of bad guys.”

“So?”

“Er,” Jen had identified the problem, but not the solution.

“Can you set up a sort of canopy over the portal?” I asked. “As far as we know, the hellmaws can’t move other than to grow, and they won’t grow if we shield them from the dark light spots. Whatever else comes through will end up in the UV as soon as it’s pushed out from under the canopy.”

“That’s not a bad idea. I’ll get that set up. So you think if we use another argon flash we could make the portal bigger still.”

“I think that’s what the boss is counting on.,” Jen said. “He’s been talking about tearing the portal wide open, but if he had the capacity to do it himself, he would have. I think he’s trying to trick us into doing it, so in the meantime, nothing that does anything like what that bomb of yours did. You also need to be extremely careful with those creatures you captured. The group I’m involved with did the same and we learned the hard way. They are infected with a parasite which radically alters any person it gets into.”

“Does it now?”

“Yes, and not in a nice way either. David was infected about four centuries ago and for the first three he turned into one of the most blood-thirsty, evil bastards you ever met.”

“He seems better now.”

“Did you find him yet?” I interjected.

“Not yet, but we’re still looking.” He turned back to Jen.

“We managed to destroy the parasite, although that sent him temporarily insane. He destroyed the lab, along with all samples of the cure, all documentation and every scientist who had half a chance of recreating it. David overcame what we did to him…”

“To an extent,” I added.

“…but our organisation never recovered to the point of knowing how to fix it.”

“David thinks it would have been kinder to kill him than cure him,” I said. “He was aware of every evil thing he did, very much as though it was him doing each one. He just didn’t care at the time. Then his conscience returned when he was ‘cured’ if that’s even an appropriate term for it.”

Jen nodded sadly. “I suspected as much, so perhaps it’s as well that we haven’t been able to recreate the cure. Anyway, it is absolutely imperative that you ensure none of your soldiers are exposed to those creatures’ blood. If that happens, you will not end up with the super-soldier you may want to make. Instead you’ll create something ten times worse than any vampire or greshnick that comes through. What you will have is something with the enemy’s speed and strength, but with the worst sort of human intelligence and imagination, and no sense of right or wrong.”

“Again, I’ll take that under advisement.”

“You don’t get it,” I said. “You can’t make use of anything that comes from that side. Whatever you try to do with it, you’ll end up with something worse and uncontrollable.”

“Alright, if that’s all, dinner will be served in about three quarters of an hour and your friend will most likely arrive shortly after. You never know, we may have found David by then as well.”

“For your sake, I hope not.” I muttered, “After that stunt you pulled, I doubt he’ll be that kindly disposed to you lot.”

Chapter 12

Jen and I went for a walk before dinner. No surprise, we had a couple of soldiers following us, rifles in hand. They remained at a discrete distance but did a good job of showing themselves to us.

“You could probably get away if you tried,” Jen said, keeping her voice low.

“Let’s reserve that for if and when it becomes necessary,” I muttered back. “If I get away once, they’ll increase the number of guards, and probably arm them with tranquiliser guns.”

“Don’t you think that’s what those are?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. I’m not sure I really want to find out.”

“Still, could be worse. At least we have some attractive scenery to enjoy while we’re exercising.”

“Are you talking about the grounds or the guys?” I asked. One of the off-duty squads was exercising near to us. Shorts and tee-shirts. Not as revealing as girl clothes, but they didn’t need to be. Enough muscles on show to keep the display interesting.

“A bit of both. I’m intrigued though. Are you interested?”

“What’s not to be interested in?”

“Well, it’s just that you used to be a guy, and…”

“I wasn’t gay.” That made me think of Nick, but I didn’t have permission to share that particular piece of information. “I’m not now, either. Full on girl, that’s me.”

“You don’t feel at all awkward about it?”

“I felt more awkward before. I mean when I was Mitchel, I definitely appreciated the pretty girls, and I could feel my body’s interest, but there was something a bit off about it all. I didn’t know how to talk to them, and I wasn’t entirely sure how far I wanted to go. It’s like there was some sort of mix up between what my body wanted and what my brain wanted. I have no such confusion now. Just enough responsibility to know I don’t really want to go that far just yet.”

“I’ll hold you to that. The law says you’re old enough, but personally I think the law is messed up on that count. You’re still young enough to ruin your future if you go overboard.”

“Plus being eight months pregnant would totally ruin my fighting style.”

“Oh, now that’s a scary thought. Did I hear a gong? I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

We headed for the mess tent where we were invited to the front of the line and a table was set aside for our use. The food was decent army fair, comprising a tasty chicken curry with a decent amount of veg mixed in. We were halfway through eating when Stuart arrived.

“Thank goodness you reached out,” he said. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you all day.”

“I’ve been here all day,” Jen said, “but there are phone jammers.”

“I was asleep till near noon, then packing,” I apologised. “Didn’t think to check my phone till we got here, by which time…”

“Yes, well, Nick, Laurel and I have been searching though my books for any evidence of, you know who…”

“Voldemort?” I suggested.

“No. Don’t be facetious. The, er, er, you know?”

“The boss guy?” My second guess. “They know about him. At least the lieutenant does.”

“I take it you found something?” Jen asked.

“Well, yes and no.” He put a large book on the table and opened it.

“Is this for some kind of creepy journalling?” I asked flipping through the empty pages.

“No. It was filled with arcane runes a week ago when Laurel scanned it into the computer along with a number of other texts.”

“Do you know what they said?”

“No, because Laurel tried to show me the scanned file, but it wasn’t there, or rather it was but it contained no data.”

“So, you have a blank book and no scanned files,” Jen said. “I mean, that’s odd, certainly, but why the interest?”

“Look at the spine.”

I closed the book and did so. On the one hand it looked like an odd, stylised image of nothing in particular. On the other, since we’d actually met the guy, it looked like a mouthless face with a bone ridge from brow to chin and a scattering of eyes either side.

“Okay,” I said. “I get why the interest, but…”

“What do you think might be possible once a mystical text about an extremely powerful magical being is transferred into a computer?”

“You’re suggesting that whatever was digitised now somehow has a life of its own within the computer?”

“Which was connected to the Internet, so now could be anywhere.”

“Could you ask Laurel to check the network logs?” Jen asked. “If that thing uploaded to the internet, it would be a sizeable file.”

“Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea, only I’m here now, and they’re not likely to let me leave, are they?”

“Or have access to the Internet,” I said. “Did Nick get my message?”

“If you’re referring to that envelope my chauffeur handed him, then yes. Why is that important?”

“Because we can still talk to Nick, and through him Laurel. Do they have access to your shop?”

“I did show them where the key is hidden, yes.”

“Good, then I’ll send Nick a message tonight. Laurel check network logs. Anything else?”

“Possibly. How do you…”

“In ways I’d rather not discuss in here where people might be listening. So, what else?”

“If there is a big upload, which IP address did it go to?”

I made mental notes.

It was dark by the time we finished eating. Stuart came back to our tent and kept watch through the tent flap while I set up my phone. It didn’t take much to put together a roll of paper from one of Jen’s notebooks and tape it over both the camera and the flash. Stuart held the flap open a short way and I stayed back in the shadows, using the camera to aim through the gap towards Nicks house. With things lined up, I opened the morse app and sent repeated cq messages his way. After about five or ten minutes a single light flashed across my field of vision.

I set up my phone app to send the message. “Check network logs. Big upload? If so IP addr? Reply 1 hr?”

Three flashes. Either a mistake or something other than yes or no. “Laurel with u?”

One flash. Yes.

“More time needed?”

Two flashes.

“30 min ?” Pause. “15 min?” Pause. “5 min?” Single flash.

“He says he can give a reply in five minutes. I’m guessing Laurel can remote access your router or something.”

“How is he going to reply if he can’t send us morse code?” Stuart asked.

“Fireworks,” I said. I pulled up the voice recording app on my phone.

Five minutes later there was a single flash, then a pause. I held my finger to my lips and pressed record.

A rocket went off near Nick’s house, then a series of firecrackers. Twelve lots in all, separated into four groups of three. A second rocket flared after it to tell me the message was complete. I pressed stop and pulled up the voice recording in a different app Nick and I had found that showed the recording as a graph. With the firecrackers going off in quick succession, it was easier to count how many from the pulses in the sound graph than trying to count them as they happened. I wrote down the numbers. It was definitely an IP address, four numbers in the zero to two-five-five range.

“That looks like a military address. Can you ask how big the upload was?”

“Hang on.” I lined up again and sent a single cq, receiving a single flash in reply.

“How big?” I sent. “Mb?” Pause. “Gb?” Pause. “Tb?” Flash.

“10?” Pause. “100?” Pause. “1000?” Pause. “10000!?” Flash.

“In the order of ten thousand terabytes,” I said.

“That’s a lot of data. How fast is your connection?” Jen asked Stuart.

“I don’t know. I think it’s the fastest available.”

“Fibre?”

“I think so, why?”

“It would still have taken ages to upload. Hard to believe a military computer wouldn’t send out an alert if a connection stayed up for that long. I think we ought to take this to Henderson.”

“After all this cloak and dagger? He’s going to want to know how we got this information.”

“And if this turns out to be something important, we’d be better off letting him know, even if it loses us this advantage.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“I’m pretty sure it will.”

She marched out the tent with Stuart and me following. I didn’t even have time to send Nick an AR signal to say we were done.

#

We found the lieutenant at the gate where a large number of military trucks had turned up. He was reading a sheet of paper which he’d removed from a sealed envelope. He looked up as we arrived.

“Your timing’s perfect,” he said. “I have orders which will need you to open that portal of yours, and a little larger if you can manage it.”

“What do you mean?” Jen asked.

“I don’t have time for your questions, now do I have your cooperation, or am I going to have to confiscate your equipment and do it myself?”

“Lieutenant, we’re in possession of some information you need to know.”

“The hard way it is then. Corporal, detain these three and fetch me the axe and the two dagger things from their tent.”

“Yes sir!” The response was no sooner barked than three burly soldiers had us in their grasp. I could have broken free, but Jen shook her head at me. Not time to fight yet apparently.

“Lieutenant, what are you going to do?” Jen called after him.

He ignored her and instead gave instruction for the lorries to be unloaded and their contents carried into the dome. The crates that came off were of a size that would have made serviceable coffins. The codes stencilled on the side meant nothing to me, nor apparently to Jen or Stuart. Size and shape wise, I was inclined to guess at missiles.

“Lieutenant,” I called. “Where did your orders come from?”

He gave me an impatient look and ordered the men holding us to detain us in our tent.

I yelled out the IP address we’d just been given.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

“It’s an IP address. At least check it out. At a guess, it’ll be connected to your current orders.”

He walked over to me and spoke slowly and deliberately into my face. “My orders tell me not to trust any of you, that this mess is largely your fault, and under no circumstances am I to trust anything you say from this point.”

“And, of course, you trust these orders?” I tried not to react to the garlic on his breath. Evidently officers enjoyed a different menu.

“Why shouldn’t I? Authorisation codes match. This comes through the official chain of command.” He made to turn away.

“And if your chain of command has been compromised?”

“Impossible.”

“That IP address I gave you. A very large amount of data was uploaded to it from Mr Giles’s computer not long ago. We believe it matches the missing contents of an ancient book he had digitised a few days ago. A book about the big boss demon we told you about earlier. The upload wasn’t initiated by anyone in our group.”

He sneered at Stuart. “So, your computer got a virus. Sure it wasn’t your financial records that were stolen?”

“Ten petabytes, Greg,” Jen said quietly. “Hardly a typical amount of data, and the file that contained the scanned characters is empty.”

“What does that prove?”

“Nothing by itself, I’ll admit, but with what you’ve seen last night and today, surely you can accept we’re dealing with something that goes beyond normal here.”

“You’re asking me to believe in magic?”

“You must have come across that Arthur C Clarke quote, ‘Magic is just science we don’t understand yet.’”

“No, I’ve done enough listening to your bollocks. I have clear orders here, which I’m going to execute. Fucking take them away?’

“What orders lieutenant?” I shouted, but he wasn’t listening.

“Leave it, Sarah,” Jen said. “It’s quite possibly part of the magic that he’s been made resistant to questioning his orders. He’s certainly not usually this stubborn. If you push him, he’ll probably bind and gag you.”

I let it go and allowed myself to be manhandled (womanhandled? I appeared to be more sensitised to the patriarchal bias in our language since becoming a girl) back to our tent without giving any indication of my actual strength.

“What do we do now?” I asked.

“See if you can contact Nick and Laurel again,” Jen said. “She’s pretty handy with a computer, to the extent of being quite capable of doing things with it she probably shouldn’t.”

“Laurel?” Stuart and I said together.

“Hidden depths that one. Ask her to see if she can hack the IP address and find out what she can.”

“She could get in serious trouble doing something like that,” Stuart said.

“She could, yes,” Jen said, “but how deep will the shit be that we’re all drowning in if that demon succeeds with whatever he has planned?”

“True, true.”

“What should I ask her to do?”

“Look for any evidence that that computer has been compromised and gets it to send out alerts if she can.”

I had my phone sending CQs towards Nick’s window. He must have been watching because he responded immediately.

“Ask Laurel to hack IP address and look for evidence of hacking. Alert authorities.”

Three flashes. Either he didn’t understand or he couldn’t do it.

“Is Laurel there?”

Flash.

“Ask her.”

There was a pause then a single flash.

“Take precautions.” Something Jen had asked me to add.

Again, a single flash.

“Did you see that flash?” one of the guards outside asked.

“Where?”

“Over that way. There’s been a few of them.”

I sent AR NR. AR meant over and out where as NR was our own short code meaning no response.

“What’s going on in there?” One of the guards said, speaking in the general direction of our tent.

I crumpled up the paper tube and lay back on my camp bed with the phone in my hands, thumbs poised over it. Close all apps and open a document. Flying thumbs typed out a couple of paragraphs of stuff on the page before the guard barged in and snatched the phone out of my hands.

“What is this.”

“Homework,” I said. “Not much else I can do, is there?”

I’d actually written the beginning of a piece on the inflexibility of military command structure, and posed the question, “Since soldiers at all levels were expected to obey orders without questioning them, at what point should they be considered guilty of war crimes when they were acting under orders from a superior?”

The guard grunted and offered me the phone back.

“Just following... you know.”

I stood up smiling, and gave him a full blown haymaker to the side of his head, catching the phone as he dropped it. He fell to the ground without making much sound.

“Baz, you okay?”

I moved to one side of the entrance. Jen, taking advantage of the situation, called, “Come quick! He collapsed.”

The second guard appeared, rifle at the ready. He caught a glimpse of me – well, my fist actually – and just started to bring his weapon to bare when mine caught him a blow to the side of the head, similar to the one I’d given his companion.

“What do we do now!” Stuart hissed.

“You tie them up and gag them. Keep an eye out for Nick trying to contact us and find out what you can. I think, under the circumstances, we’re a little too far gone to keep to one flash or two from him.” I tossed my phone to Jen. “There’s a Morse decoder app you can type his messages into. I’m sure you can work it out.”

“What are you going to do?” Stuart asked.

“Try and stop these guys from doing something we’ll all regret.”

“Take this?” Jen offered me one of the rifles.

“No, that’s just an invitation for them to shoot back. Unarmed girl though. Hopefully they’ll think twice, even if ordered to fire.”

“Wiser than I’d be under the circumstances.”

“I should change though.” I gave Stuart a meaningful look as I lifted one of my suitcases onto the camp bed. He caught on quickly enough and decided to occupy his time keeping a studious eye out for any more soldiers outside our tent.

I really had no qualms about undressing in front of Jen, but Stuart was another matter. Very much a girl thing, not that I needed any further confirmation that that’s what I was now.

A quick look outside the tent confirmed there were no additional guards. Chances were the remainder of the platoon were all involved in unloading the trucks and setting up whatever weaponry was in the crates.

#

The camp was deserted. Well okay, apart from Jen and Stuart, and the two disabled guards. I made my way cautiously towards the dome and felt no hint of danger from around me as I approached. Definitely threats inside, but whether that was warning me about what awaited me on the other side of the portal or those I still wanted to consider allies on this side.

This was going to be interesting. On the one hand there were a lot of them – somewhere above two dozen – and they were armed with automatic rifles. Despite what I’d told Jen, I had some serious misgivings about whether or not they’d open fire if they caught sight of me. On the other hand, regardless of who or whatever was directing their actions right now, they were still my allies, so I definitely didn’t want to kill any of them. Nor did I wish to cause them significant harm.

This meant stealth and taking them on one or two at a time. I hadn’t had much practice with stealth, and it wasn’t particularly simple in shoes designed for a form of tap dancing.

I took the time to remove them from my feet before sneaking into the dome. A couple of armed guards stood just inside, but their attention was currently focussed on the preparations taking place closer to the centre, so it was relatively simple to crack their skulls together. They wore soft caps which made the exercise simpler, cushioning the blow enough that I wasn’t at risk of concussing either of them.

I dragged them out of sight. From the progress being made near the portal, it didn’t look like I had time to secure them, so I hoped they’d remain unconscious for long enough.

I counted ten, no twelve, snipers located around the edge of the dome. I hated that I needed to put the snipers out of action, but I’d never get near the centre of the dome with any of them still active. We’d be in pretty bad shape without them should the portal open from the other side, but it was still the least worst plan in my mind.

And I did need to get to the centre. The other half of the platoon, along with the dozen or so extras who’d come with the new equipment, were busily setting up what looked like four multiple rocket launchers. They weren’t the large vehicle mounted weapons, but they were large enough even so. Each sported a row of five tubes some eight feet long and about a foot in diameter, and they were all aimed in the general direction of the portal. The missiles being loaded into the last of each of the tubes needed four well-muscled men carry them into position.

I turned my eyes to the snipers. On the plus side, they were already reasonably well hidden. So long as I could do the stealth thing well enough, I should be able to put them out of action one by one without anyone else seeing.

The first couple I tried putting in a head lock until they lost consciousness. It was quiet and effective but took longer than I could afford. Plus I had no idea how long they’d stay out for. Next option was a punch to the back of the skull. That was quicker but carried some risk. I knew if I punched too hard, there’d be a chance I’d put them out of action for good. As a result I didn’t hit the first one hard enough and had to resort to the neck hold to complete the job. Very nearly got myself noticed too. The next one I managed to get just right. Out like a light but with a strong pulse. After that, the rest went out pretty quickly, and I had them all disabled by the time all the rocket launchers had been armed, and the small group of lab coated figures had transferred one of the prisms from the dagger portal devices to my axe. They declared themselves ready and I was still stuck out at the edge of the dome.

They had video footage of Jen opening the smaller portal, so they knew symbols, incantations and hand movements needed to make it work. There wasn’t much I could do to stop them, so I took the time I needed to put my heels back on, then grabbed the last sniper’s rifle and made my way as quietly as I could towards where the action was taking place.

The portal opened, just as large as it had been the first time, from my distance, I couldn’t see through it as clearly as I had the first time, but something seemed off.

“Standby to fire,” the lieutenant called out.

I had to stop them, but how? I was too far away. I took inspiration from Ellen Folley’s iconic performance with Meat Loaf.

“Stop right there!” I yelled, complete with rising inflection.

The whole place fell silent, and around two dozen faces turned in my direction.

The rest of the song lyrics ran through my head. None of them seemed particularly useful in this context, so I tried a few of my own words.

“It’s a trick, lieutenant,” I called. “Look through the portal and tell me what you see.”

“I see an army of vampires. One that I intend to eradicate in just a few seconds.”

“Hold off a few seconds more and think about it. Compare what you see now to what Jen showed you earlier.”

“All that’s changed is the visibility’s worse. There are still thousands of the fuckers.”

It was true, there was a dust haze dropping visibility to less than a mile. Most of the army could still be there, except…”

“They were rubbing shoulders this morning they’re a lot further apart now.”

“So? What’s your point? They were hardly going to stay crammed together like that for long.”

Fair enough, there was some sense in that, except there hadn’t seemed to be much in the way of sense to their distribution earlier.

“What about the nastier things? Earlier today there were a fair number of greshnicks, Fyarl demons, krrst and manitcores. There isn’t a single one in the field of view now.”

“They’ve probably been deployed further out, maybe to keep the vampires in line.”

“It doesn’t seem strange to you?”

“Not particularly. They’ve spread out a bit. We’ll still take them all out with this missile strike.”

“The missiles are that powerful?”

“Of course. Twenty thermobaric missiles. Enough explosive force to wipe out everything on that plain.”

“And what will they do to the portal, lieutenant? You know what happened when you dropped the last bomb on it. What if you’re being played and they he’s moved most of his army out of sight, out of reach of your fancy bombs? What if we end up with a portal half a mile wide and an army of a hundred thousand assorted monsters charging into our world through a portal too big for us to control?”

“I have my orders, Miss Geller.”

“From a source that’s quite possibly been compromised, lieutenant. Can’t you feel there’s something wrong about all this, even about the way you’re reacting to them?”

“Enough! Prepare to launch. If she interferes, shoot her.”

That limited my options. Diplomatic channels slammed in my face and still too far away to poke my fingers in the works. Not that I’d stand much of a chance against automatic weapons.

Funny how the most unlikely things come in handy at unlikely moments. The previous summer, Nick and I had spent a lot of time and money playing airsoft. Toy guns firing paint pellets, mainly at close range, but I’d developed a feel for rifles. I dived onto my front – harder target and more stability for firing – and brought my borrowed firearm up to my shoulder.

It was set to semi-automatic, which meant single shot auto reload. Probably as well; if it had gone off on full auto, I’d have probably sent out a spray of bullets in random directions and put everyone’s lives at risk. As it was, firing a seven-six-two was immensely different to an airsoft rifle. The mechanics were the same – stock tight into shoulder, weapon held loosely, breath out, aim and squeeze – but from the point when it fired, everything was massively different. The deafening noise of the bullet firing, the bruising kick of the stock pushing back into my shoulder. If I’d had to fire a second time, I’d probably have been wincing in anticipation, and that would have ruined my aim. As it was, the unexpectedness took me totally by surprise and meant that the shot flew truer than I could have hoped. The bullet struck the prism on the tip of my axe, shattering it into a million fragments and collapsing the portal in an instant.

“Get her!” the lieutenant shouted.

I dropped the rifle and ran. However much it may have saved the day, I hated guns all the more now.

Especially since they were currently being used against me.

The shoes didn’t help, but I managed to duck and roll enough to dodge the bullets. My heightened instincts gave me just enough warning ahead of the shots that I was able to dodge them. A few of them tore through my clothing, coming withing millimetres of my skin, but somehow I made it to the lieutenant unscathed. I threw myself at him at chest height, tackling him high enough that even my small weight had enough leverage to bundle him to the ground. With my arms wrapped around him, I only had one weapon available to me so I brought it to bear, smacking him hard across the bridge of the nose with my forehead.

He went out cold. The rest of his men moved in and pulled me off him. With me captured they seemed less inclined to shoot me, but they weren’t in the best of moods.

“Sergeant Finn,” I called out, recognising him among the angry faces, “please, you have to listen.”

“Or what? Will you break my nose too?”

I looked at the lieutenant. I’d done it again.

“Yeah, maybe someone should see to that before he comes round. And sure, if you act like an asshat too, I’ll be happy to rearrange your face.” I’d always loved that expression and never had enough opportunity to use it. “I’m assuming you didn’t read the lieutenant’s orders?”

“Of course not. His eyes only.”

“Probably as well you don’t then. I think there’s something in them that’s influencing him. You were here when we opened the portal earlier, weren’t you?”

“You know I was.”

“Then tell me your impression of what was on the other side just now. Same number of bad guys?”

“Well no, but…”

“But what? You heard what I told the lieutenant. Would you say there’s a possibility the other side is drawing us into launching those missiles?”

“That’s ridiculous. The orders for the missile launch came from within the army command structure. We have checks and balances to make sure no-one can send false orders and these check out.”

“Look deeper into the source of those orders. You remember I gave the lieutenant an IP address I said we thought had been compromised when we were all being carted off to our tent? I’m guessing he hasn’t been anywhere near your communications facility since then.”

Finn exchanged glances with a couple of other guys, each one sporting the same triple chevron on his upper sleeve.

“How would you know about anything being compromised?” one of the others asked. “You’ve been on base with no comms since this morning.”

“My friend Stuart came on site this evening, He told Jen and me about a large amount of data being uploaded from his computer to this unknown IP address, and his suspicions of what it might be.”

“Which is?”

“Let’s call it a virus. An AI virus. Something that’s capable of infiltrating sophisticated systems and making autonomous decisions from there.”

“We’d have heard reports about something like that.”

“Why would you? Something with that degree of sophistication would likely be capable of working around your security systems. Maybe starts by uploading enough of itself to search for and disable any alarms, then uploads the rest of itself. It then has access to enough information that it can masquerade as one of the army’s higher ranking officers – all necessary details available from personnel files. It orders certain bases on lock down – training exercises, security concerns, whatever – including the one siting the computer it inhabits, and starts sending out what appear to be legitimate orders from there. If it happens to be able to include something extra in the communications that influences the personnel receiving the orders, then that will only reduce the likelihood of them being questioned.”

“What sort of something extra?”

“I don’t know. I think we may have different ideas on what’s possible and I wouldn’t want to suggest something that would cause you to disbelieve me, so let’s just say maybe something subtle and psychologically influencing in the words, or perhaps something else to be investigated at a future date. The question to ask yourself is did you notice a change in the lieutenant’s behaviour shortly after receiving those orders? His eagerness to carry them out for instance, or his tendency to disregard the possible dangers of setting off twenty of your missiles close to the portal?

“Look, I’m guessing here, but you know the way things work in the army better than me. Don’t you think any of this is at all possible?”

“It’s all a bit of a stretch,” the other sergeant said. I didn’t recognise him, so suspected he’d come as the squad leader with the weapons convoy.

“More of a stretch than what you’re seeing in here?” I asked. “I mean, a moment ago you were looking through a hole in spacetime at an alien world full of monsters? Isn’t it at least worth checking out? Weird shit is normal here and now, so can’t you stretch your credibility just a little?”

“She’s right,” Sergeant Finn decided. Score one for a pretty face and the effect it has on the young and unsuspecting male mind. “Keep an eye on her though. She does anything threatening, you still have the lieutenant’s order to shoot her.” Okay maybe the score was closer to one-all, but I still liked my chances.

“Corporal Jeckle.” The guy who’d helped me with the first aid stepped forward. “Do what you can for the lieutenant. Take him to the medical tent and make sure he stays there. Have him sedated if you need to.

“Sergeant Miller,” Finn turned to the guy who’d come with the weaponry. “We have one spare prism. Get your guys to fit it to the axe, but don’t activate it. If this turns out to be a wild goose chase, I don’t want anyone accusing us of not doing our jobs.

“Sergeant Gates,” Finn’s fellow sergeant, a handsome guy with a shaved head and a fair bit of Africa in his gene mix. “I’m guessing you’ll want to see what’s happened to your men.” He looked around at where none of the snipers were showing themselves.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” I said.

Finn scowled. “I’m heading over to the comms tent to see what I can find out? Collins, Matthews, Foley and West. Bring her along and don’t take any chances. She even looks at you funny, take her down.”

No need to look funny, they were already doing as I’d asked.

#

The officer on the other side of the screen was grey haired with something fancy on his epaulettes. Two kind of stylised squares on the diagonal and a crown, I think. He did not look super happy about being interrupted.

“Sergeant. Where’s your commanding officer?”

Finn went ramrod straight. “Indisposed at present, colonel. He’s being treated by our medics as we speak.”

“Do you not have orders to carry out in his absence?”

“Yes sir, but I have additional information that may compromise the validity of those orders.”

“Go on, but make it quick. I have other urgent matters.”

“Yes sir. I have reason to suspect an artificially intelligent computer virus may have uploaded onto a military server.”

“Go on.”

“An upload of about ten petabytes was sent to...” he looked at me expectantly.

I reeled off the IP address Nick and Laurel had sent us.

“...and shortly afterwards a convoy of trucks appeared with twenty thermobaric missiles and orders for Lieutenant Henderson to launch them through the portal.”

“And the reason you haven’t done so?”

“Because we have already noticed that the existing portal increased in size following exposure to an Argon Flash device. Our best intelligence suggests that launching the missiles could open the portal much wider permitting the enemy a significant advantage.”

“You don’t think our scientists have thought of this?”

“Well sir, since we only found out about it three hours ago and none of your scientists have even seen the portal, I’d say possibly not.”

“Sergeant, you have your orders. If you don’t feel like obeying them, I could always have you relieved.”

“Tell me about the IP address, colonel.”

“Not your affair. Follow your orders, sergeant.”

“As soon as I’ve verified them, sir.”

“Then you’re relieved, sergeant. Corporal? Take him into custody and bring me your next highest ranking NCO.”

“Sir?”

“Disregard, corporal,” Finn interrupted, then turned to one of the technicians. “Cut the feed and make a connection to Miss Geller’s IP address.”

The colonel’s face disappeared from the screen. I had to repeat the numbers. The link brought up a familiar face. Multiple eyes and no mouth.

“Sergeant Finn,” the voice boomed in each of our minds. “You have your orders, don’t you?”

The voice was both painful and compelling. Less so for me since this was now my third encounter. I’d seen how the technician had cut the feed so, while everyone was clutching at their heads, I stumbled forward and did the same.

“What the hell was that?” Finn asked.

“The enemy,” I said. “Safe to say the bad guys are in your computers. A better question would be, what are we going to do now?”

“I have my orders,” the sergeant said, turning to leave the tent.

“Mark!” I yelled. “No!”

“Corporal, take her back to her tent. The four of you are to remain with her inside the tent and make sure she doesn’t get out again.”

“Sir!”

#

“Well, this looks promising,” Stuart said sarcastically as I reappeared in the tent with my four chaperones.

“Not helping,” I scowled at him. Mind you, the presence of our two former guards, bound gagged and still unconscious wasn’t either.

Three of the new arrivals raised their guns – two on me, one on Stuart and Jen – while the fourth checked out our two victims. Once he’d confirmed they were both alive, he released them and set about trying to rouse them.

“You’re lucky these guys are okay,” said the fourth.

“Luck had nothing to do with it,” I said. “We were careful. Listen, any chance I can visit the loos? It’s been a while and things’re getting kind of urgent.”

“There should be bucket around here somewhere,” one of the two keeping an eye on my said with a smirk.

“Where?” I wanted to know.

“I don’t know.” He dropped the muzzle of his rifle as he turned to look around.

It was all the invitation I needed. Hands cuffed behind my back wasn’t much different from arms held by my sides. I did a jumping twist that allowed me to knock the rifle of my other guard up and the one of the funny guy down. I managed to tuck my legs in tight enough to bring my bound wrists under them and in front of me before I landed. I had an arm around joker’s neck by the time the third guard brought his weapon to bear. By which time I was hiding behind his companion, giving him no clean shot.

The moment’s hesitation was all Stuart needed to step forward and snatch the weapon out of his hand. He had it up and trained on the group before any of them could react.

Jen took the gun from my captive’s hands and indicated that the other two should place theirs somewhere out of temptation’s reach before I let go of my guy.

“More promising now?” I asked Stuart, then, “Keys,” I snapped at the fourth guy.

“I was rather hoping you’d managed to help them see reason, not...” He waved at my former captives, including the guy currently unlocking my cuffs.

“I was doing pretty well,” I said, “until they contacted the compromised address Nick gave us.”

“Why, what happened then?”

“Mr No Mouth and All Peepers answered. You know the way he talks directly into your brain?”

“Seriously? He was... was there?”

“I don’t know why you’re surprised. Wasn’t it his face on the book that Laurel digitised? Wasn’t it his data that ended up uploading itself to a military computer?”

“Yes, but the idea that a computer stream could be conscious. Besides, surely he’s still in the other realm.”

“What can I say? I didn’t see him on the other side of the portal and they did open up a big one. Maybe he is all the way over here.”

“He wasn’t there?”

“Nor,. As far as I could tell, was most of his army. Reduced visibility, but vampires only and spread out considerably.”

“But that makes no sense.”

“It does if you think about it, but I don’t have time to explain. If you’re still in contact with Laurel, ask if she can send it a virus or something. Keep it preoccupied. You,” I pointed at the guy I’d recently had in a neck lock, “come with me.”

“What happened to your urgent needs?” he snarled.

“Not so urgent after all, besides, more urgent priorities. Come on.” I gave him a gentle kick towards the exit.

“Wait!” It was the one who’d checked on his unconscious colleagues.

We all looked at him expectantly.

“I don’t know who this Laurel is, but there’s not a virus she can upload that’ll have any effect. We have some of the most powerful heuristic protection on our systems.”

I wasn’t sure what heuristic meant, not in this context or any other, but Jen seemed to.

“So, what do you suggest we do? And as an afterthought, why should we trust you?” she asked.

Time was pressing.

“Figure something out,” I said. “Maybe talk to one of the technicians in the communications tent. I’ve got to go.”

“And do what?” Stuart asked.

I shrugged. “Same as you. The best I can in the available time.”

I gave my captive another shove and followed him out the tent.

“I don’t know what you think you can do,” he said. “We’ve won you know.”

I had the magazine out of the rifle and was emptying it onto the ground as we walked. “What exactly do you think that means?” I asked.

“It means we kill all your buddies in the next world and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“My buddies? You do know I’ve been fighting them non-stop these past few weeks? You know it was us who called you in when we found out how big this problem was? Whatever gives you the idea they’re my buddies?”

I reinserted the empty magazine and worked the action to eject the round in the chamber.

“You’ve been fighting us pretty much since the lieutenant showed you what we can do. I don’t know if you’ve got some sort of delusions of grandeur over this whole thing, but we’re professional fighters...”

“Who have no idea what you’re dealing with here, and if you’d just listen to yourself for just a few seconds you’d probably realise you’re the ones being influenced. Drop your magazines.”

“What?”

“Your ammunition for this thing. Drop it.”

He pulled a few magazines from his large trouser pockets. One of them still looked like it was bulging a bit so I kicked him in it.

“Ow, okay!” He pulled out a last mag and dropped it.

I handed him the rifle. “Don’t think up any clever ideas, because they won’t be. Just remember I could kick you so hard in the crotch your balls would come out your nose.” I stepped in front of him. “Oh yeah, I can do it from here just as easily.”

“You’re never going to get away with this you know?”

“Get away with what? No, forget that. What do you remember from when we were in the Comms tent?”

“I remember the sergeant giving me an order...”

“Which you felt compelled to obey.”

“No reason not to.”

“What happened before that? Any memories of a voice in your head?”

“That would have been the colonel ordering the sergeant to carry out his orders.”

“Not quite, because that’s when Sergeant Finn requested clarification over the orders, the colonel ordered your corporal to relieve him and he ordered the link to be cut. You remember all that, don’t you?”

“Er, y... er...”

“Then Finn ordered a connection be made to the IP address I’d given him and...”

“I don’t...”

“It’s not that you don’t remember, but it’s hard to; like thinking through treacle. It’s easier just to go to the orders and follow them. You’ve been brainwashed soldier.”

He was silent for a while, all the time we were approaching the dome.

“It’s Kevin,” he said at last.

“I’m sorry?” Sounded slightly better than ‘what?’ you understand.

“Private Kevin Atwood. I... don’t really know what’s going on, but you’re right, something is definitely hinky.”

“Something from the other side of that hole in reality is trying to influence us. I don’t know why I’m not affected. Either it becomes less effective each time – this is my third – or I have a natural resistance.

“What it’s trying to do is get us to blow up a fuck load of those missiles close to the rift. It got to the lieutenant, it got to the colonel, and most recently it got to Sergeant Finn and you guys. I’m hoping that, because I interrupted the connection last time, its influence isn’t so strong. I mean, I’m getting through to you, so...”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Make like I’m still your prisoner. Tell Sergeant Finn and anyone who gets in the way that I have information critical to the success of the missile launch. Get me as close to him as you can.”

“What do you plan to do?”

“I don’t know, I’ll think of something.”

They were in the middle of the spell or ritual or whatever to open the portal when we approached. I held my arms behind me like I was still cuffed. Private Atwood walked behind me, giving me an occasional push. I could see gun barrels following my progress from the edge of the dome, and quite a few pairs of eyes looked on suspiciously as we neared our target.

“Hey, Sarge,” Kevin called out. “Something you should hear.”

“I thought I told you to confine her in her tent.”

“Yeah, but...”

This was going to fall apart any time soon. I swung at him with an open palmed slap which sent my hand numb.

His face turned black with rage, and he reached for the pistol at his side.

Well, if plan A doesn’t work... A flung my arms around his neck and planted a kiss firmly on his lips. He struggled against it at first, but I could feel his resolve crumbling. I kept going until I felt the tension drain out of him. He wasn’t ready to give anything back so I eased away from him.

“What the f...”

“I had to get through to you somehow. Will you at listen to me now?”

“I’m not going to let you stop me.”

“Fine, then how about doing it right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, what exactly are your orders?”

“Send the missiles through, detonate them over the plain and destroy the army.”

“So, hold off for just a bit. Send through recon drones, get above the haze, and search for where the majority of the army might be hiding. Send the missiles there and explode them at a safe distance from the portal.”

“Those aren’t my orders.”

“No, but you’re the current battlefield commander. You have more up to date intelligence so you should have a degree of flexibility in how you interpret those orders. You know the size of the portal may be changed by explosions nearby and you know that that army of vampires,” I pointed at the scene through the newly opened portal, “is nowhere near the size of the full threat.”

“Yes but...”

“Sarge,” Corporal Atwood said gently. “We aren’t thinking straight; None of us who were in the comms tent earlier. It’s hard to follow her reasoning, but it makes sense, certainly more sense than anything you or the lieutenant have been trying to do.”

He shook his head, trying to clear it. I rested a small hand on his chest.

He lifted it off and handed me it back. “No offense, but if I’m trying to avoid outside influences...”

I took a couple of steps back. He was right, I’d done my bit. Now it was up to him.

Neither of the other sergeants had been in direct contact with Mr Mouthless, either his physical self or his digital one. “Why don’t you talk it through with the other sergeants?” I suggested. “I mean, I know this isn’t a democracy, but surely you’d benefit from advice from others of your rank.”

He nodded and called in the other squad leaders into a mini scrum. It lasted barely a minute and the stepped away, all nodding.

“We’ll try it your way,” Finn said, then sent a few of his subordinates after the platoon’s surveillance drones.

I wandered around the portal. Most of it was flat and featureless, but there was a range of hills in one particular direction, their peaks poking above the haze. They were maybe four or five miles away. I pointed it out. “What do you think?” I asked.

I could see the strain in him, but he nodded. “As good a place as anywhere,” he said.

It didn’t take long for the crates containing the drones to appear and be unpacked. Each contained a sizeable quad copter drone, a charging station and a controller, complete with screen, although a separate screen was included that showed multiple displays from up to nine drones. They only had the four which meant that the multiple displays showed more detail.

They shot through the portal and climbed, out of the reach of the vampires for one thing, above the haze for another. The army close to the portal were significantly reduced compared to what we’ seen in the morning. The pilots sent them whizzing towards the hills.

It didn’t come as much of a surprise to find the full army on the far side of the hill, complete with all the less pleasant characters in it, including the principal boss.

“Slightly more tempting target, don’t you think?” I asked.

“Yes, but...”

“Not what you were ordered to do. Sergeant, you need to focus.”

“I know. It’s like I can’t think past my original orders.”

“So maybe accept that you’ve been compromised and delegate your command.”

“To you, perhaps? You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” Paranoia resurfacing.

“I was thinking one of the other Sergeants. Gates or Miller.”

“Gates maybe. But what if that thing comes over to the portal?” he pointed at the big bad.

“It’ll take him a minute or two to cover the distance which should give us time do something about it. You could always keep me in reserve if you like.”

I’d meant it as a joke but, from his expression, he wasn’t in the mood for such.

Fortunately, Sergeant Gates was a little more forgiving. He clapped Finn on the shoulder and smiled at me.

“Worth thinking about,” he said, “but for now, I think your idea has merit.” He turned to Finn. “Sergeant Finn, I’m relieving you on the grounds you may have been compromised, and I’m changing your original orders.” He turned to the missile controllers. “Clear targeting, he told them, and launch full spread at one second intervals. Aim them straight up once they’re on the other side.”

The missiles started disappearing into the hole in space.

Well, that got rid of my next suggestion. I’d wondered if it might be worth limiting how many we fired since we didn’t know the range or effectiveness of the blast. We were committed now.

The worry must have shown on my face because he grinned at me in what I suspected he thought was a reassuring manner. “Manual ballistic aiming,” he said. “missile one here,” he pointed at a spot on the map the drones had given us, “two here...” and so on until all missiles had been allocated.

“We probably won’t get all of them, but we should get him. By using all their fuel on the way up, they become a lot harder to spot on the way down. They have control surfaces – like mini wings – meaning we can kind of glide them down within about ten miles of where they go up.”

“Yeah, well as long as they land on the other side of that hill, I’m hoping that will be enough so they won’t affect the portal.”

We didn’t have long to wait. Even at a range of five miles, the explosions were impressive, the missiles first detonating to spread a fine mist of fuel into the atmosphere, then detonating a second time to ignite the fuel air mixture. With the missiles relatively evenly spread, the deadly mist covered a much wider space, creating a fireball several miles across.

“Did any of the drones survive that?” I asked, somewhat awestruck.

At a signal from Gates, another four drones shot through the portal and away. The level of destruction they showed was astonishing. Not a single creature remained standing. In fact, not a great many corpses remained. The only ones I could pick out were the manticores and the remains of the boss guy, all charred beyond any hope of survival.

“I guess vampires are supposed to be susceptible to fire,” I said.

“Yeah, demons not so much though,” Gates said. “I mean you’d think they’d be fireproof after coming from Hell, wouldn’t you?”

“Is that what we’re calling this planet? I shouldn’t go by medieval notions of Hell if I were you. Besides, he wouldn’t have moved most of his army if he hadn’t thought it was in danger.”

“Is that it then?” Gates asked. “Is it over?”

“Well, we do have a few thousand ordinary vamps milling about that side to deal with, as well as a digital clone of our enemy commander floating about in your computer systems over here.”

“Shit, I’d forgotten about him.”

“Apart from that, this is a window into a whole other planet. I’m guessing we’ve just destroyed the equivalent of one country’s army.”

“That doesn’t sound too encouraging either.”

“Except we have weapons we know will work against them. The real issue is the thing still in the computer here. He’s still in a position to cause us some serious problems.”

“What do we do?”

“Head for the comms tent for starters. I’m not sure what happens next. Oh, and disconnect this for now.” I held out my hand for the axe which the technician gave me on Finn’s nod. A simple twist removed the prism from the end of the haft, collapsing the portal.

I tossed the prism back to the technician. “Please don’t do anything with it,” I said.

“Yeah, just put it somewhere safe for now,” Finn added. His hand settled between my shoulder-blades, and he guided me out of the dome.

Chapter 13

“What’s happening?” he asked as we arrived at the comms tent. Stuart and Jen were there along with our remaining guards.

“We’re er, waiting for Laurel,” Stuart said. “She and Nick are on their way. I’m not sure she would have been able to do anything by herself, any more than these, er, people can.”

“This has to do with what you were saying when I left the tent, isn’t it?” I asked one of my former captors. “That heuristic defence thing you were talking about. Care to tell us about it?”

He nodded. “Most anti-virus systems have a database of existing viruses and look for patterns that match their code. All modern systems have some degree of heuristic protection – which is to say they look for virus like behaviour – because there are a lot of viruses that alter their own code so they won’t be so easily recognised. Military grade virus protection is almost entirely heuristic because the kinds of viruses we’re up against are being written from scratch on a daily basis by potential enemies.

“It wouldn’t really have mattered what your friend uploaded, it would have been recognised as a threat almost immediately, resulting in a fairly catastrophic response.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning your friend’s computer would have been located and spiked, and the authorities sent round to arrest her. Plus, our enemy would have been made aware that someone was trying to disable him, and who knows what he would have done about that.”

“So, what do we do?”

“We’ve known something like this could happen for some time – one of our enemies coming up with a virus that can overcome our protection – so we built in a back door with a high level of encryption leading to a kill switch. If we can get through the encryption, we can isolate the affected systems and cut them off from the rest of the military network.

“And you know this how, corporal?” Finn asked.

“I applied for cybertech a while back, sir. They’re still considering my application, but you know, you hear things.”

“How are these decryption codes meant to be used?”

“There’s a list of high up officers who have them on their person at all times. You’re supposed to contact one of them and request shut down of a certain facility.”

“What’s the likelihood they’ll consider a request from a lowly sergeant?” I asked glancing at Finn.

“Well, they’re supposed to consider inquiries from anyone who contacts them, because the only people who should know about it other than the officers involved are the members of higher command who agreed to it being put together in the first place and members of cybertech who’d know when something was hinky, so whoever gets in touch either knows enough about cyber warfare to recognise when something is wrong or they know someone who does.”

“Which is all very well,” Finn said, “but you’re not in cybertech and you know about it, so it’s not exactly a best kept secret, so if this thing has infiltrated our system, what are the chances it’s found out about this contingency. and if it knows about it, what are the chances it’s been in touch with the officers in question and compromised them in the same way it got to the lieutenant, and even me sort of?”

“Sir?” the corporal asked.

“It has the ability to influence us simply by talking to us – or even by writing to us if the lieutenant’s response is anything to go by. If I were that thing and I found out that there were people with the means to shut me down, I’d be looking to contact them and stop them by whatever means.”

“That would explain what happened when I tried to reach out, sir. They all refused to listen to my evidence and told me that if I should stop trying if I didn’t want a reprimand on my record, which would keep me out of cybertech. I thought they were just being arseholes because I’m just a corporal and not in a technical capacity, so I called the mate who told me about the backup and persuaded him to put in a call. He just contacted me to tell me he was given the run-around. He was told they were looking into it and not pursue tings further, which isn’t protocol.”

“So what can we do?” Finn was the guy in charge here so it seemed right to let him speak. At least u til he started acting like a dick again.

“IWrll,” the corporal said, “I’ve been studying cryptoanalysis in the hope it’ll help me get me into cybertech, but I’m not convinced I know enough to do it on my own, so I’m hoping this Laurel person of yours might improve our odds.

“How does this back door work?” Finn again.

“An isolated computer on site hardwired into the phone system by a DTMF tone decoder. An incoming call fires up the computer and listens for the shutdown code. If it’s successfully given, it links into the main system and shuts everything down.”

“What’s DTMF?”

“Dual tone multi frequency. You know when you hear a phone make a call it makes a sequence of kind of off key tones?”

“Sounds kind of old fashioned.”

“Tried and tested technology, sir, and not complicated. It fits on a computer the size of a credit card which can be hidden inside the main server where pretty much no-one would know to look and in a way that means it can’t be removed without shutting down the compromised computer.”

“What happens if gets a wrong code?” I asked.

“That’s the thing that I’m worried about. The codes are twenty-digit numbers, randomly generated, so you can send them from a standard phone keypad, but if you get the code wrong it blocks the phone number you used and cycles to a different code in the list of possibles. Almost impossible to brute force even if you have a means of spoofing the outgoing number.”

“Which I presume we don’t have.”

“No sir, but I suspect if Laurel knows much about hacking, she’ll know where to get one at least. Even then, that’s only part of the solution.”

“This thing doesn’t restrict to military numbers?” Finn asked.

“No guarantee the person aware of the infiltration would have access to a military phone, sir.”

“And what’s with this changing codes thing? I mean if someone makes enough of an effort, potentially they could get through and shut the computers down. Why no three strike shutdown?”

“Imagine you’re the infiltrator sir. If you wanted to stop someone shutting you down this way, all you’d need to do would be to dial into the device a d deliberately given it the wrong code three times. By rotating the codes it pretty much reduces the chances of hacking to zero.”

“So how do you know which code to use?” I asked.

“The device sends a DTMF code at the beginning. There are DTMF decoder apps you can download, so you know which of the many codes it’s looking for each time you try. Presumably you’ll be in touch with one of the code carriers. They’ll put the code you give them into a device and read out the twenty digits you need to use. The whole things pretty robust sir... ma’am.”

ess likely to be noticed or interrupted. The thing is, if the enemy is aware of the countermeasures, they may have someone keeping an eye on the PC. The way they’re set up, nobody’s likely to be able to stop the process, but since we’re most likely going to have to brute force the encryption, chances are the AI will be able to upload itself to a new site. If it masks its tracks, we may not even be able to figure out where it went.”

“How do you know which number to call?”

“Every base has a range of phone numbers to get through to the switchboard. My friend told me that the number of the device as two hundred and seven higher than the highest number in the range. I’ve already tried calling. It asked for code fifty-two thousand, four hundred and eighty-five.”

“What does that prove?”

“That my friend wasn’t pissing me about sir.”

“I take it we have a physical location of this IP address?”

“We do. I requested a list of all military bases and their IPs, then I did a search of the downloaded file. It’s up in Scottish Highlands, sir.”

“Did you check for edits on that particular file?” Laurel asked from the tent entrance.

“What?”

“That file you downloaded. When was it last edited?”

The corporal tapped away at his keyboard. “Shit. Yesterday.”

“Can you access an earlier version from the system backup? Actually, can you download a collection of backup files, including that one, from a week ago?”

“Er, sure.” He tapped away for a moment. Lines of data streamed across his screen. When it was done he opened a file and searched for the IP. “Okay, that’s… It’s a base maybe twenty miles from here, Sarge. I could have sworn…”

“He swapped a few addresses about,” Laurel said, sitting at the computer. “He’s not stupid, you know.”

“Can you give us the actual address of the base?”

“Better.” Laurel had pushed the corporal out of the chair and taken over. A page appeared in the printer’s out tray. It showed a map and directions.

“Fancy a road trip?” I asked Finn.

“I’m not sure what we’ll be able to do if the base is on lockdown.”

“Do we have a base schematic? Effectively, do we have information on how the base connects to the computer network?”

“Er,” Laurel was hunting through the list of backup files. The corporal pointed at one which she opened and sent to the printer.

“Except that won’t do you any good either,” the corporal said. “This is a high-security base, which means any ducts big enough for a person to get through will have some level of protection, possibly lethal.”

“Also, you can’t let him know you’re trying to break in,” Laurel said. “The same applies. If he thinks you’re coming after him, his first reaction is going to be to run away. He has a lot more bandwidth available to him now, so it’ll probably take him no more than ten minutes to upload to a new location if he feels threatened.”

“So why hasn’t he copied himself already? I mean multiple copies of the same program have to be better than one.”

“I don’t know. Maybe he thinks he’s an actual person and doesn’t like the idea of there being more than one of himself. Maybe he’s worried that eventually one of his copies will try to erase him. I’m, er, guessing.”

“It’s as good a guess as any. Okay, you get yourself setup to crack the encryption. Finn and I will see if we can restrict him to his current location until you manage it.”

It felt better having something to do. I wouldn’t have been able to sit around while Laurel did her clever stuff, hoping against hope that she would be successful. Our target base was twenty minutes’ drive away – fifteen the way Finn was driving – and I was doing my best to look over the base schematic while we swerved around corners at scary speed.

I had my phone back and kept a conversation going with Nick, whose phone had been cleared to work through the base jamming. He was able to tell me about Laurel’s slow progress all the way. We eventually pulled in behind a copse of trees a mile from the base and covered the remaining distance on foot.

Finn handed me a pair of binoculars and gave me a brief set of instruction how to use them before settling in behind his own.

“The base is on lockdown, that’s for sure,” he said.

The binoculars had a low light setting that was pretty effective even at full magnification. I could see doubled guards patrolling the perimeter and standing at the entrance. Yeah, we weren’t going to talk our way through them in a hurry.

I scanned the rooftops for…

“I’m guessing that’s not for Sky?”

He glanced at me then pointed his own bins in the same direction. “No. That would be upload and download to the military satellite network. Not as fast as fibre, but more reliable.”

“They have both, right? So, we’re going to have to take them both out at the pretty much the same time.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“What are your chances of taking out the delicate part of that satellite dish from out here?”

“Shoot out the LNB? I could do that. Maybe not the first shot. You’re not…”

“Someone has to. I’m the littlest, so I should be able to get down into the ducting, and I wouldn’t have to go far before finding my target. And of course, I’m the one with the axe.”

“I don’t like this.”

“No, neither do I.” I dialled through to Nick. “Can I talk to Laurel?”

“Er, yeah.”

“Sarah?”

“Hi Laurel. How’s it coming?” I put the phone on speaker.

“Getting there. I have a CLI spoofer installed, but the way this is set up, it’ll take several seconds to connect and send a twenty-digit code. Brute forcing it could take years unless I can think up of a work around. I don’t want to try connecting until you guys are in place. The corporal here says there’s no way he’ll know we’re trying to get in because the system is entirely separate from anything else on the base, but if our bad guy has figured out a way, he’s likely to know what we’re trying to do and take countermeasures.

“The corporal’s cybertech friend has given us access to a database that might have schematics of the device, and that might give us a few clues how we can beat it, so we’re looking through that right now.”

“If I cut through the fibre at this end, I’m going to sever your link to the device, aren’t I?”

“A-actually no. The device is on its own copper wire routed separately. I guess the designers thought of that. It worries me they might have thought about a whole lot of other things too.”

“See if the corporal’s friend can put you in touch with someone on the design team. They might be able to tell you this doohickey’s weaknesses quicker than you can find them.”

“That sounds like an idea, as long as we can convince him we’re legit. How are you doing?”

“Well were here and we have a plan, but we need you to be able to shut him down before we try anything. We can cut him off from the outside world, but it’ll be a one-shot deal, then it’ll be down to how long it takes them to repair our sabotage against how long it takes you to shut him down.”

“How long will we have?”

“However long it takes them to fix either the fibre plus ten minutes for him to upload, or the satellite plus twenty. Better than that I can’t say because I have no idea how quick they are at fixing stuff.”

“That’s not long. Er… hang on, Gary’s waving at me.” The phone went quiet for a few moments. “He’s suggesting we could use digital masking to pass ourselves off as a higher-ranking officer and use that to get one of the key holders to respond.”

“That doesn’t sound right.”

“The weakest part of any security system is the people. He’s been looking through a list of high ranking officers and he reckons he’s found enough details on one guy that we pass ourselves off as him convincingly.”

“That’s a lot of trouble if you get caught,” Finn said, “and the code holders wouldn’t give up to you or the cybertech guy. What’s to say any of them will listen to your higher ranked officer.”

“Military training. You guys are trained to respond to orders from above. There’s a good chance these guys will respond to that conditioning over whatever big bad has done to them.”

I looked at Finn who shook his head. “I don’t like it,” he said. “The code holders have been compromised, so as soon as you contact one, they’ll let the enemy know someone’s trying to shut him down. He’ll get away and we won’t be able to stop him.”

“It’s the only plan we have. The corporal says his friend in cybertech doesn’t know anyone who designed this system, so we’ve no way asking for weaknesses.”

“Okay, I guess this is the plan. It’ll take about ten minutes for Finn and me to get into position. Call us when you’re ready.”

“Er, I don’t have Sergeant Finn’s number.”

“I’m guessing someone at the base will.” I hung up and gave Mark a kiss on the cheek. “For luck,” I said.

He kissed me back on the lips. “We’re going to need a lot of it,” he replied.

I disappeared into the night with my lips tingling.

#

It took me seven minutes to get down to the utilities access point. The cables ran along the road on the same side of the base, but the manhole happened to be in an blind spot. Very much a piece of British workmen’s forethought in planning. I slipped down into the ducting and partially closed the lid over me. It was a tight squeeze, but I’d make do, and I was still getting a couple of bars on my phone.

I took a couple more minutes to reconnoitre my surroundings. I located the fibre optic cable and even went far enough into the tunnel to find the first of the defensive measures – what looked like an automated machine gun. It swivelled my way but stopped when I ducked out of its sight.

I made it back to the manhole just as my phone rang.

“okay, we’re ready,” Laurel said. “Do you have a watch?”

“Er, my phone tells the time.”

“Okay, yeah. Sorry. Well, we want to coordinate this as well as we can, so you two cut the link at the same time we call these guys. That way he won’t be able to get through to big bad and we’ll have a better chance of convincing him.”

“Guys?”

“Yeah, my idea. If we have several people pretending to be our big brass, we have a better chance of convincing someone, and if we get more than one we can compare their responses. So synchronise watches, or phones, or whatever,” we did, “then go in three minutes from... now.”

Three nervous minutes later I heard Mark’s rifle shot, followed by another. I didn’t have as much manoeuvring room as I’d have liked, but I did have the strength. The axe went through the fibre optic cable on the third strike.

On my way back to the manhole, I picked out a couple of additional points and axed them too.

Back in the realm of phone bars, I put a call through to Nick.

“It seems like it’s working,” he said. “The site’s showing as dark, meaning no connection to it, and we have an agreed code from two of the code carriers. Laurel’s phone is making those horrible beeping noises, so I expect we’ll find out any minute.”

I could hear footsteps in the ducting back the way I’d come. I doubted they’d be having any fun at all in the confined space, and I’d left them enough of a mess to sort out. I climbed out the manhole, directly into the barrels of about a dozen rifles.

I carefully put my axe down and raised my hands.

Fifteen minutes later, Mark and I were sharing a cell. Another thirty minutes beyond that I tried breaking the stony silence.

“You did say they’d be pretty quick responding,” I said.

“Yup.”

“I wonder if we won.”

“I wonder.”

“Are you pissed off with me?”

“Just wondering if I’ve thrown my career down the crapper,”

“Oh, come on.”

“Oh, come on what? I disobeyed orders, I fired on a friendly base, I collaborated with a civilian…”

“You disobeyed orders that you had good reason to believe had been compromised, you fired on a base that was under the control of an enemy AI, and you collaborated with a civilian who knew a lot more about this situation than you guys. If your superiors don’t recognise your actions as meriting commendation, then maybe you’re working for the wrong people.”

“Ahem.” The cough came from a shadowy figure who stepped into view. His epaulets displayed a crossed sword and scabbard and a crown. Finn leapt to attention. The man laughed. “It’s all right sergeant, stand easy. Your young lady friend is quite right. There will be a debrief in a short while for you both, separately because this is the way things are done, but it seems that you may well have saved us quite a lot of bother.” He looked behind him at a lesser soldier and indicated that we should be let out of our cell.

“Lieutenant general, I…”

“Shouldn’t say anything at this stage. You’ll have your opportunity. Tell me, have you considered becoming a commissioned officer?”

“Er, I, I, er…”

“I’ll take that as a no. You should, you know. There’s a second lieutenant’s post opening up soon – supernatural liaison – not something I would ever have imagined in my wildest dreams becoming a part of the British Army. I think you’d be well suited to the post.”

I fought down a smile.

“Yes, and you, young lady. I think we’re going to have to offer you and your friends consultancy positions. I don’t particularly like the idea of consultants you understand? They’re generally inordinately expensive, but when we find people with the sort of specific expertise you have shown, we don’t have much alternative.”

“Sir, what can you tell us about…”

“Nothing at present. You must understand, the debrief has to be untarnished by any knowledge outside your own. Generally speaking, it’s a lot easier to see when people are trying to be honest.”

“Yes sir, but I’m concerned for those who were affected by…”

“They have all been identified and are being debriefed in the same way as yourselves will soon be. Please wait until after this is over before asking any further questions.”

“The computer system here?”

He sighed. “Shut down with no sign that the AI in it managed to upload itself. Now, please curb your curiosity a little.”

“Yes sir.”

We were separated and I, at least, was put in a bare room on my own. I let my feet out of my shoes. I’d become comfortable enough in them for the most part, but there was still a degree of relief that came from removing them.

Eventually a panel of officers walked into the room and sat opposite me. One was the lieutenant general, but he sat to one side and let his subordinates take the lead.

None of them seemed to have much of a sense of humour, so I supressed my own tendency towards sarcasm. I did answer all their questions honestly though, even when they stared at me in disbelief.

Then again, when your story starts off with, ‘A few weeks ago I was a teenage boy named Mitchel,’ you’re bound to gain a few sceptics early on.

They wanted demonstrations of my dance fighting, which I happily gave them, first with the heel sheaths on then with the weapons out. They placed my axe on the table and I explained where it had come from. The haft from a Fyarl demon and the rest from Jen’s weapons manufacturer.

It took hours, but then to be fair there was quite a lot of new information to present and convince them had its foundation in truth. It’s not often when, as a down to earth soldier, you have to take on board the existence of portals to alternate worlds, the existence of vampiric creatures and other monsters, and so on.

We took a break part way through so I could eat. The meal was brought to me and the rest of them filed out, still giving me disbelieving looks.

I was starving and ate voraciously, then I took my shoes off again and curled up on the floor for a short nap.

Which turned out to be a long one when I woke up several hours later with a blanket over me. The floor was hard and cold, and I felt stiff as a result, but the rest had been necessary.

I didn’t bother asking what the time was. Best just to get this over with as soon as possible.

More hours, another meal and more hours still until they were finally satisfied that they had all I was capable of telling them. They’d doubled back with their questions on occasions, but that’s where telling the truth makes it easy. You just tell it again.

Once more they filed out and left me on my own. Not for long though. Stuart, Jen, Laurel and Nick all came in and we did a kind of group hug thing. Stuart was kind of awkward over it, but it was good to see them all alright.

“We wondered what had happened to you,” he said. “It, it took so much longer for your debrief, we er…” He had his glasses off and was polishing them furiously.

Whatever else he might have said was interrupted by the arrival of the lieutenant general accompanied by Mark, his sergeant’s stripes replaced by officer’s epaulets, these each sporting a single square.

“Good morning, everyone,” the general said brightly. “You’ll be glad to know that the ordeal of questioning you is over and all that remains is to decide what to do with you all.

“Lieutenant Finn has already gone a long way towards corroborating your stories by demonstrating various, er, aspects of your recent circumstances, and it pleases me to discover that, despite the utterly fantastical nature of your stories, you all appear to have responded honestly and openly to our interrogation.

“In addition, Mr Giles and Miss Ephemeris have helped considerably with those under my command who still feel compelled to follow misguided orders. The, er, indoctrination they received seems to be a little different to anything we’ve encountered before and their methods have proven effective where our own have not.

“Despite the danger being considerably lessened, Miss Pinkstone has been singularly helpful in demonstrating weaknesses in our security systems, although I have to admit this leaves me with a considerable amount to think on. On the one hand, I don’t particularly like the idea of having our systems so easily compromised, yet on the other, if she hadn’t managed to do so, we might still be fighting a tough battle.

“Mr Harris here,” that’s Nick if I haven’t already mentioned, “has also proven useful in his own way, and has expressed an interest in joining the army.

“As for you, I can’t say I’m overly keen on your lack of respect for the chain of command, but at the same time, I can’t ignore your actions were most definitely crucial in turning this engagement to our advantage, so I think we can find a way to work through it.

“In short, I would like to offer you all positions in the paranormal operations company I’m setting up.”

“Would I be correct in assuming we won’t have access to the portal if we don’t accept?” I asked.

“That would be a fair assumption, yes. We can’t allow non-military personnel messing with something like that.”

“I’m not sure we can afford to let military personnel do so either.”

“We have been entrusted with the defence of the realm.”

“Yes, but you have no experience with this sort of thing. You said yourself this only turned out well because we did what we knew in spite of your soldiers doing their best to stop us.”

“Agreed, which means we’ll all be better off if you agree to work with us within the chain of command, though with enough autonomy that you won’t be hamstrung in bringing your unique experience to bear.

“From your perspective, it would mean you would have the resources and authority of the British Army behind your efforts. So it might make things easier for both of us, don’t you think?

“At least listen to my proposal. Second Lieutenant Finn here to be placed in charge of the portal facility. Mr Harris to enlist in accordance with his interests. After basic training, he’ll be assigned as Lieutenant Finn’s aide, or possibly the base captain’s. The rest of you to be offered consultancy positions, details to be discussed, but with Miss Geller here given the rank of acting captain with equivalent authority as the base commander. That’s as close to autonomy within your field of expertise as I can offer you. You will still need to act within the command structure of the army as a whole.”

“And if our enemy starts influencing higher ranks?”

“Miss Pinkstone here is helping us to ensure that doesn’t happen again. We may be open to discussing ways of giving you limited options to exercise extraordinary authority to act independently, but there would have to be checks and balances.”

I looked at Stuart and Jen.

“It, it sounds fair,” Stuart said. “More, more than, er, fair actually.”

“It was my idea to invite military involvement, Sarah,” Jen added. “This is too big a thing for us to fight on our own, and this gives us more involvement than I was anticipating, so I’d say yes.”

“What about David?” I asked the general.

“As I understand it, we’ve been unable to locate him. From the lieutenant’s report, his reaction was understandable as much as it was regrettable. If you can locate him and persuade him to work with us, we would value his expertise.”

I nodded.

“Good. I understand you and Miss Pinkstone are seventeen years old?”

“I turn eighteen next month,” I said.

“A couple of months more for me,” Laurel added.

“That fits in nicely with the army reserves. Mr Harris, you’re already eighteen?”

“Er, six weeks ago, sir.”

“Right. We should involve your parents in this, Sarah, Laurel.”

“They expect me to be away with the army all this week,” I said.

“I’m aware, but circumstances have changed. The portal still represents a threat to national security, and I’d like a robust defence in place as soon as possible.”

Laurel whispered something urgent in Jen’s ear, who smiled.

“We may have a way of helping with that,” she said. “Laurel, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, has quite an exceptional mind, for magic as much as for technology. She thinks she can make use of the power in Sarah’s axe to awaken potential slayers elsewhere. She sees no reason why there should only be one.”

“Fantastic,” the general said. “Sarah, how would you feel about commanding a squad of slayers?”

“Er, well I was hoping to have a crack at our digital demon first. I encountered the real one twice and the computerised version once and fared better than anyone. I think I may have a natural resistance.”

“Let’s put a hold on that for now. If it turns out you’re not as resistant as you thought, you’d be a formidable weapon in the hands of the enemy. Let’s at least wait until we have a few others like you, so we have a chance to restrain you.”

“That makes a lot of sense actually.”

“And so you begin to see the benefit of older and wiser heads holding higher command positions, perhaps.”

“Begin maybe, but older doesn’t necessarily mean wiser, and the commanders of our army haven’t always had such a great track record in the good decisions department.”

“Ah yes, you’re a student of history. I’m hopeful the modern British Army shows a significant improvement in its command structure to the way we did things in the past but make your own mind up.

“I think we’ve achieved enough for now. If I could ask you to accept being restricted to this site until tomorrow morning, I’m hopeful we’ll be able to bring in Miss Geller’s and Miss Pinkstone’s parents and arrange for the necessary documentation to be reviewed and signed, then you will have as much liberty as you might expect being bound by your new position, the official secrets etcetera.”

#

It turned out to be no hardship. Laurel needed me and my axe to work her mojo. It took her a while to explain it to Jen and Stuart, but once they understood her ideas – which I most assuredly did not – they got all sorts of excited, with each contributing from their own knowledge to improve Laurel’s casting. They spent most of the day refining the spell which gave Nick and me a chance to resolve a few things.

“Did you fancy me when I was Mitchel?” I asked him.

“Well, if you’re going to beat about the bush,” he replied, then smiled laconically , “yes. Yes, I did.”

“How long have you known you were gay?”

“I think since the first time I set eyes on you. You weren’t though, so I couldn’t tell you.”

“Kind of sucks.”

“Yeah. How about you? Being a girl seems to suit you.”

“It was pretty weird at first, especially since the change didn’t happen all at once.”

“Say what?”

“Yeah, when I went home Saturday morning, I looked like this, maybe boobs a bit smaller, but I still had my bits.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

“I seem to remember you tried to get me to dress as a girl more than once.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Kind of a personal fantasy that I could go out with my boyfriend and nobody would know but us, but I mean with you looking so much like a girl...”

“Doesn’t do it for you, huh?”

“Sorry, not built that way.”

“Good job the army is pro gay.”

“Pro all of it. You’re kind of trans in a way, so their inclusion policy supports you too.

“But, I mean, when did you, like, know you were better as a girl?”

“Know for sure? Probably when I got over the shock of the initial change. I suppose I’ve always had a sense of things being a bit off though. You remember how I always wanted to play with the girls?”

“Yeah, it’s probably what set off my gaydar in the first place. Kind of shame it was a false ping. But seriously dude, you have no regrets about losing your dick?”

“I can’t tell you how right it felt when I realised it wasn’t there anymore.”

He shuddered and dipped a protective hand in front of his own equipment.

“And you don’t mind, you know, time of the month kind of thing.”

“Still waiting for my first,” I said. “I mean can you believe it’s only been three weeks since this all started? I guess I’m due any time. In fact, I’m feeling a bit bloated right now.”

“TMI dude. Don’t want to know.”

“Whatever. It still feels right. Like it’s a part of me, you know?”

“Like I said. Don’t want to. How about this slayer crap? You really okay with that?”

“Might be more than up for it over the next week,” I said. “You know, PMT and all that?”

“Fuck man, will you stop steering us back to that. Like point made, dude.”

“Maybe you could try and steer away from masculine forms of address? The more you recognise me as a girl, the less I’ll feel the need to ram it down your throat.”

“Oh, right. I’m guessing you’re still not okay with dudette?”

“No.”

“It may take me a while.”

“No worries. As to the slayage, yeah not so keen. I mean I know it’s needed, but it’s gross – all the more so when they don’t explode into dust at the end – and it feels... I don’t know, it feels like I’m becoming more hardened to it the more I do it. I’d rather not kill stuff if I didn’t need to.

“How about you? Never pegged you for an army guy.”

“I think the discipline’s something I’ve been missing in my life, you know. Plus, lots of hot guys.”

“Most of whom probably won’t be gay.”

“Don’t have to be if all I’m doing is looking. Besides, eventually there will be one.”

“And if they order you to kill?”

“Since I’ll be in the paranormal company, that’ll most likely mean monsters, and I’m okay with that.”

We chatted on about our hopes for the future, and it felt more and more like we were heading different directions. We’d been friends for a long time and this parting of the ways felt sad.

“Hey, it’s cool, girl. We’ll see each other almost daily, and we’ve got a lot of great memories to look back on.”

“Yeah, and every girl needs a gay friend. At least I don’t have to go looking for mine.

“I think I just saw Laurel wave. Fancy going over to see what she wants?”

So we did, and what she wanted mainly was me. The sun had dipped below the horizon and they were ready to do their magic.

“Hi guys, first of all this is Seth,” Laurel said introducing one of our four guards from earlier – the corporal. “His friends call him Oz because he’s kind of a wizard with computers and electronics. I’ve asked him to help us because we need five to complete the pentagram. Sarah will be in the middle, of course.”

She sat us at various points around the ornately drawn five-pointed star. I, as she’d said, had pride of place in the centre along with my axe. Jen and Stuart took the base, Nick and Oz took the arms and Laurel sat at the head.

“Any danger to this, Laurel?” I asked.

“No, none. Well maybe some, but not a lot. I’m eighty-five to ninety percent sure this’ll work.”

“Which?”

“Eighty-seven?”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“The worst is you get to be an ordinary girl and we have to get by without a slayer until the next one comes along,” Jen said. “If it works though, we’ll have a world full of slayers. Low risk, high reward. We should do this.”

“Only i-if you want to though,” Stuart added.

The thought of being an ordinary girl appealed. I mean, it would take the other side of the rift time to regroup, and even if they did while I was still alive, we had other defences.

“Okay, Laurel, do your worst.”

Maybe I meant that. Maybe I really wanted that ordinary life.

As usual, Laurel’s worst was still A-plus. I could feel the power of the demon horn streaming into me from the axe and out again, spreading in all directions. The spell seemed to go on for hours, and in it I felt the same awakening in hundreds, perhaps thousands, of young girls.

Not just girls either. At least not on the outside.

“Did it work? I don’t think it worked,” Laurel said dejectedly.

I held up my axe, the entire haft of which was crumbling into dust.

“It worked,” I said.

“Oh, your axe!”

“I’m just going to have to find myself another Fyarl demon if I want to fix it properly. For now, slayers are waking up all over the world. We just have to let them know to come here.”

“I could post something onto social media, Laurel said.”

“Yeah, but let’s show willing with our new partnership and send it up the chain of command.”

So, I asked Oz to take me to the lieutenant general.

“She’s amazing, don’t you think?” he said as soon as we were out of earshot from the tent.

“Laurel? Yeah, I guess she is.”

“I’m thinking of asking her out, but I’m kind of nervous about how she’ll respond.”

“I remember what that felt like,” I said, probably confusing the poor guy. “My advice, be open and honest. Girls like that.” This one did anyway.

“I’ll take it, thanks.”

The general was a little miffed that we’d gone ahead with Laurel’s idea without further consultation but gratified that it had worked.

“Corporal Green,” he said to Oz. “Why don’t you head up the social media campaign along with Miss Pinkstone?”

“Yes sir. Thank you, sir.”

“And thank you for bringing this to me. It’ll be easier once we have chain of command established.”

“How likely is it that my superiors will be as open minded as you, general?”

“Fair. Plus, you should have enough evidence to chisel open the most closed of minds. You still have those captive creatures of yours, after all. So I expect you’ll make it work.

“It’s approaching dinner time, and I prefer to eat early. Would you care to join me? Corporal, I believe you have something to do?”

“Yes sir!”

And he was gone, leaving me with a ruggedly handsome if older guy taking me to dinner.

“You can flatter an old man by keeping him company over a meal,” he smiled at me. “Don’t worry, I’m not expecting anything more.”

“I can’t think of anything I’d enjoy more than a little stimulating conversation over a meal,” I smiled back. He was wise enough to know what he’d have coming if he tried anything more, so I didn’t have to be blunt about it.

He proved to be just as erudite as I’d hoped, and knew a lot more about military history than my studies had taught me. I learned a lot and enjoyed his company immensely – in an interesting uncle come to tea sort of way.

#

Dad had been a little confused about being brought in so soon after I’d started my week’s work experience, and Mum had arrived wearing her best worried look. Laurel’s parents were just confused about being brought in at all.

To make it less confusing, the meeting took place in the nearby army barracks where we’d been debriefed the previous day. Everyone in town knew something was going on at the old college site, but there was no sense in making matters more confusing by doing this there.

The lieutenant general was at his disarming best and welcomed Laurel’s and my parents into a large conference room laid out with refreshments. He did the honours pouring out teas and coffees then we all sat down around the table. Laurel and I sat with our parents on opposite sides and the general took the end.

He started with my mum and dad, explaining how I’d impressed them even in such a short time and they wanted to offer me a more permanent position. He handed Dad a pile of paperwork then turned to the Pinkstone’s to explain how I’d asked for Laurel’s help with some cyber security matters and she’d so blown everyone away with her knowledge that they wanted to offer her a position too. Again, a pile of papers and the meeting fell into something approaching silence as my father and one of Laurel’s mums read through the paperwork looking for loopholes and potential catches, and the remaining mothers murmured their concerns to their daughters who responded with reassurances that all was well.

Laurel and I refreshed the drinks for everyone before enjoying a cuddle with our mums while our dads finished reading.

“I don’t see any catch here,” Dad said. “In fact, it looks downright astonishingly good.”

The Mrs Pinkstone who’d read Laurel’s contract nodded her agreement.

“Why should there be a catch?” the general asked. “You have two quite exceptional daughters and we’re good at spotting talent. When we do, we have learnt that the best way to win it to our cause is to make an offer that shows our full appreciation of what we see. The nearest thing to a catch is that we would like to sign them up to a contract as soon as we may. Today if possible. I quite understand if either of you would like to ask a lawyer to look over this paperwork and explain to you in layman’s terms all the pros and cons, but I’m hoping you will be able to do that today. You can choose the solicitors, and the army will pay the bill for their services, including any reasonable premium for having it done immediately.”

“I have a contract lawyer I use on occasions,” said Mrs Pinkstone pulling out her phone. “I could ask him to look at both if you like.”

“Who’s your lawyer?” Dad asked then nodded at the response. “I’ve used him myself. Sure, let’s see what he can do for us.”

Mrs P made the call then passed it across to the general who approved the expense and noted down an email address. He then led our dads through to the next room where they witnessed the documents being sent before returning with fresh drinks and a plate full of cakes.

Mum had left most of her second cup of tea untouched, then again it had stewed somewhat. She was glad of a fresh brew, as much as Dad was happy with a fresh coffee and some cake. Afterwards the general took us on a tour – via the loos for us girls. Most important for me as my first period had hit its full flow and I was working my way through tampons at quite a rate.

The general wanted to demonstrate something of what they had noticed in us to our parents with the first demonstration apparently going to be me.

We stepped into a room full of recruits, all in PE gear. There was about a dozen of them and all half as tall again as me. Menstruation wasn’t doing much for my mood though, so I may have been a little overzealous in my response. It took me two minutes to put them all on the ground, hopefully none of them with major injuries.

Second demonstration had us in the computer centre where the most enthusiastic person there was Laurel. I’m sure what she was speaking was English but she lost me in the first half paragraph. One of her mother’s – the one who’d done most of the talking so far – seemed to follow well enough, though by the end she looked as haggard as the rest of us.

“Hopefully a demonstration of why we value your daughters so much,” the general said leading us all into a cafeteria for an early lunch.

Dad kept giving me odd looks through the meal. In fairness, he hadn’t seen me fight before now, so this must have come as a shock. Neither had Mum, but at least she knew I did fight. For her the demonstration had been a sort of confirmation of what I’d told her.

A lower ranked soldier whispered in the general’s ear as we were waiting for the ladies with the slower approach to eating to finish their meals. Dad had loaded up with twice as much as any of us, but then he’d proceeded to eat it at three times the rate.

“Your lawyer has replied,” he said simply. “Let’s finish off here and see what he has to say.”

Which turned out to be just as both my dad and Laurel’s mum had thought. Great contracts, great offers, some restrictions like the official secrets act – almost a given with military service – no real reason to say no.

Laurel and I both signed on the dotted line with our parents’ approval. We had a lot more freedom and flexibility than most people working with or for the military, including me having a pass on the rest of the week if I wished. With what had transpired in the short time I’d been on the old college site, there didn’t appear to be much to do right now, though what might come was another thing.

I took advantage of the pass and headed home with my parents. Their heads were swimming. Mine too, though probably to a lesser extent. After all, I had a wider context to the whole thing and I’d had longer to get my head around it all.

“Where did you learn to fight like that?” Dad asked.

“It’s a kind of by-product of the dancing, Dad. You probably didn’t notice, but a lot of the moves I used were modifications of dance moves. I’m also a lot stronger and more supple as a result of the training I’ve been doing.”

It wasn’t that convincing an answer, but it was the best I could manage at short notice. Mum didn’t offer anything, which might have helped the conversation peter out. Dad doesn’t contribute much to talking while he’s driving.

Back home, Dad headed for his office, and I joined Mum for yet more tea.

“You’re sure this is what you want?” she asked.

I shrugged. “The military’s involved now. The only way we can keep a hand in the game is if we play be their rules.”

“It’s hardly a game, dear.”

“I know. Figure of speech, Mum. The army’s being really fair over it though. I think they realise how out of their depth they are here, so they’re offering us a deal that makes best use of our experience and special skills and their resources.

“It’s not really what I want, but it’s what everyone needs right now, and things are changing, improving I hope. I can live with the violence for now, because there are a lot of fringe benefits to being this version of me, and there’s a good possibility that sometime in the future I’ll be able to walk away from this without feeling I’m turning my back on my responsibilities.

“Your responsibilities to kill vampires and other monster?”

“When you put it like that, maybe you should be fitting me up for a huggy jacket and a room with padded wallpaper.”

“Huggy jacket?”

“Straight jacket, Mum. The thing is, not many people know these things are real. What people saw at the college is being passed off as the effects of a hallucinogenic gas being released. The army have gone to some lengths to alter everything that went up on social media so it doesn’t show anything that would scare people. The only reason you know there’s something out there is because some of the things I fight don’t disintegrate into dust when they die, by which I mean that night I came home covered in gore.

“What I’m doing isn’t just fighting monsters, it’s keeping the world safe from even knowing they’re out there for real. I’m going to keep doing it for as long as I need, but I’m doing all I can to make sure that’s not going to be forever, or even for long.

“I do want to be a normal woman, Mum, and live a normal life, and I will have it, eventually.”

“I hope you do dear. How are you getting on with the tampons?”

“Flows a bit more than I was expecting, so I’m getting through them quicker than I thought, but overall, I’m doing okay.”

“Might want to try a larger size.”

“Maybe. I’ll get some when I go out later.”

“You’re going out?”

“Just for a walk. I don’t think there’s anything about looking to go bump in the night right now.”

“Probably just as well for them. You weren’t very restrained in that fighting demonstration, where you?”

“You noticed that? Of course you did. I’m pretty good with my moods most of the time, but...”

“But it’s your first time and it’s full on. I don’t know how well I’d cope with that. You’ll get the hang of it.”

“Thanks Mum.” There was a hug involved and that helped a lot of my mood ease.

Later, with battle boots and a short skirt just in case, I headed out for a walk. I bought a box of tampons the next size up. They’d make sleeping a bit safer if nothing else.

My legs took me to a certain graveyard where I paused and settled onto a gravestone to rest a while.

“Are you expecting anything to come through,” David asked from the shadows.

“Not really. The portal only skips if it’s kept closed and I believe they’re letting it open in the evenings so they can get a little target practice in.”

“Not a problem as long as it’s only vampires.”

“Yeah, you left before things got interesting.”

“Do you blame me?”

“No, but you still missed all the fun.

“So, what did I miss?”

I told him about the digital demon, the thermobaric missiles, all the hassle about preventing their launch and eventually sending them through to detonate over where the main body of the demon army waited.

“Yeah, well that explains it then.”

“Explains what?”

“You were right, if those missiles had gone off near the portal it would have torn a rift a mile wide between the worlds, but by exploding them in the other realm at all you created a whole bunch of new portals.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“Most of them are too small, at least at the moment, but one is big enough for some things to get through.”

“Probably where we aimed more than one missile in an effort to make sure the big guy got toasted.”

“It wouldn’t have needed more than one.”

“Well, that sucks.”

“Not your fault. You didn’t know it would make more portals so you didn’t know doubling up would make a bigger one.”

“Where is it?”

“Shifting for now. I had a sense it might grab onto one of the minor convergences like it did last night...”

“Like it did...”

“...last night, yes. There were a couple of stray vamps came through, nothing more.”

“I should have been there.”

“It’s alright. I was, and you were doing something just as important, so let’s leave it at that.”

“But...”

“You can’t be everywhere at once, Sarah. You certainly can’t cover the main portal and wherever this secondary one’s heading.”

“Where’s it going?”

“East. It’s heading east. Not sure how far yet, but it’s not stopping. At a guess I’d say London somewhere.”

“But London’s miles away.”

“Yes, which is why you’re going to stay here where the real nasties are, and I’ll follow this one.”

“But...”

“Look, I’ve been around longer than you. I’ve lived in London before, so it makes sense I should go.”

“But London’s miles away.”

“You said that already.”

“I was hoping we could spend some time together, you know, getting to know each other.”

“Yeah, me too. I guess that’s part of my penance for all the evil I’ve done. I’m never supposed to enjoy a moment’s happiness.”

“That’s not fair though. I mean you had no control.”

“It’s okay. Listen, maybe you can come visit me in The Big Smoke, or I can come visit you. In the meantime, you know, don’t wait for me. I mean that Sergeant Finn seems nice.”

“Lieutenant Finn.”

“What?”

“He’s a second lieutenant now. I told you, you missed a lot.”

“Whatever. Look, if you’re into him or whatever, just, you know, forget about me. I mean at least he’ll be human.”

“David...”

“I’ll be leaving tonight, Sarah. You need to forget about me. You need to live your own life.”

“David...”

“Goodbye Sarah.”

He was gone.

I sat and let the tears flow. Tears of regret, of anger, of loss, of misery. There were a lot of them and they were all different. It took a long time for them all to spill out, long enough to take me well beyond my curfew, but I was beyond caring about that.

I walked home listlessly, taking the same route David and I had shared on our first time together, including the dark alley through to my street.

I was ready for the dark figure this time; I’d been hoping for something to punch. As before, he launched past me and tried to grab my handbag. This time I didn’t let him get that far. I shot out with my right hand and grabbed his face. The rest of him kept going which meant his feet left the floor and he swung under my arm. I pushed him down onto the ground and only just managed to hold back from cracking his skull against the pavement.

This was no fun. I really wanted to hurt something and, annoying as this guy was, I knew I couldn’t use all my strength on him.

I reached down with my left hand and undid his belt, whipping it out through the loops in his trousers.

“What the fuck you doing, bitch?” he yelled at me. Sure, fair enough, my hand wasn’t really big enough to obscure much of his face. I shifted my grip to his throat, still a bit of a stretch with my dainty digits, and hauled him to his feet.

“Not the right time of the month to piss me off asshat,” I growled at him, pushing him back against a cast iron fence.

“Oh shit, not you again,” he whined.

“Afraid so.” I made a loop with one end of his belt and tightened it around one of his wrists. “You’re kind of lucky, ‘cos you didn’t break anything of mine this time. I don’t think those trainers would cover the expense.” He was wearing some cheap knock-offs which were already beginning to fall apart. “On the flip side, this is the second time you’ve tried to rob me and I distinctly remember giving you a little friendly advice last time.” I pulled the belt through the rails and tied it tight to his other wrist. “This is only second strike though, so what say I give you a choice?”

He looked at me like I was mad.

“I could call the police and let them know I’ve left the guy who tried to steal my bag tied up here, or you could take your chances and see if you can escape your bonds before someone comes along and wonders what the fuck you’re doing tied to these railings.

“What’s it to be? Option one or option two?”

“You’re a fucking psycho, you know that?”

“Sounds a lot like option one to me, but you’re all tied up so it’s hardly an emergency. What’s the non-emergency police number? Do you know?”

“Fuck lady! Option two, I’ll take option two.”

“You sure? That looks like a pretty tough belt.”

“Fuck yeah! Just leave me be.”

“Don’t let there be a strike three,” I snarled into his face. “You don’t get a choice what happens to you then.”

I left him with a healthy punch to the solar plexus because I didn’t quite have full control over my anger. It knocked the wind out of his lungs, but he was still breathing when I left him.

“And what time do you call this, young lady?” Dad asked as I walked through the door.

“Richard, no!” Mum said using her no-nonsense voice. She must have seen something in my face because she just held out her arms. I ran into them and the waterworks started leaking all over again.

“I’m going to bed,” Dad said. He wasn’t happy about being denied his rant, but he’d been happily married long enough to know what fights to back down from.

Mum let me cry myself out then set about making a couple of mugs of hot chocolate. She set mine on the table beside me where I was inclined to ignore it.

“Don’t you dare let me indulge in all these extra calories on my own, young lady!” Mum did a passable impression of Dad’s self-righteous rant voice which was enough to break through my mood. I gave her a weak smile and sipped at my drink.

Hot chocolate had never been so good when I was a guy.

“I’m guessing this is none of my business, so I’m not going to pry. My shoulder is still available though and I do have an emergency supply of hugs on me.”

“You’re handling me.”

“In a way only a mother knows how to do with her daughter,” she replied. “I never really knew how to do this with my son, but daughters are easy.

“So, might this have anything to do with a certain tall, dark and mysterious stranger I’ve seen walking you home recently?”

“Whatever happened to ‘none of my business?’”

“I can’t help it if I’m nosy, can I?”

That tweaked a second brief smile and broke down the last of my defences.

“He told me he was moving to London tonight.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Was he someone special?”

“I kind of hoped he would be. We never really had a chance to find out.”

“Did he say why he was moving?”

“Something to do with, you know.”

“Oh, I see.”

“What? What do you see, or think you see?” My tone came out harsher than intended.

Mum held up her hands defensively. “For one, you had a shared secret with him – something you couldn’t share with just anyone – that’s bound to bring you close. For another, I’m guessing he helped you out with you know, and that’s going to do the same.”

“What do I do, Mum?”

“I don’t have an easy answer, dear. For now, cry into your pillow and try not to let it get too damp. For the future, remember men like that tend to roll on out of your lives as quickly as they roll in. Not worth investing too much of yourself in them unless you’re prepared to roll with them. For tomorrow, or whenever you need to go back, remember you have a whole barracks full of very attractive soldiers to fraternise with.”

And there came the laughter again, although this time there were tears mixed in with it, which wasn’t a good look.

“Also, don’t cry at them like that if you want them to fraternise back.”

“Mum, stop it. I don’t feel like laughing.”

“Alright, stopping, but I don’t feel like moping, so I’m heading up. I suggest you do the same. Do you have a car coming for you tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t arrange anything.”

“Then maybe that’s the first thing you need to do when you wake up. You’re welcome to stay, but only if you agree not to mope about the place all day.”

I gave her a hug.

“Thanks Mum, you’re the best.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what I did, dear.”

“I’m sure you do. At least I have a chance at sleeping now.”

Chapter 14

There was a car outside and waiting for me at seven the next morning. Mum had come into my room and pulled my duvet off at six thirty, so I was up and breakfasted and about to reach for my phone when the doorbell rang.

I recognised him from the demonstration David and I had given – pang of hurt at the thought of David – but I didn’t remember a name or even if one had been offered.

“No Finn?” I asked more breezily than I felt.

“Er, commissioned officers don’t tend to pull driver duty, er, ma’am, er, miss. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Sarah’s fine too, if you’d let me know your name.”

“Er, Finley, ma’am, er, miss. Corporal Finley. We were told you’re acting captain as of today ma... miss. I’m sorry, Lieutenant Finn told me you prefer miss, but it’s protocol to address female officers as either ma’am or sir. I’m having a little trouble...”

“It’s alright, corporal. However, I am not, nor will you ever be, a ma’am, so if miss doesn’t work for you, I guess we’ll see if we can work with the third option.”

“Yes sir. Thank you, sir.”

“Okay and, what is it? Stand – no sit – easy. Please I prefer my drivers relaxed.”

“Yes sir.”

“I thought I had a little flexibility about my time off.”

“I don’t know anything about that, sir. I was just told to fetch you.”

“I take it we’re going back to the dome?”

“Yes sir. It’s to become the base for the new company.”

“Oh, changes afoot.”

“Yes sir, we don’t hang about in the army. Once something’s been decided, it gets implemented pretty much straight away.”

“So does that mean we have a whole company on site now?”

“Pretty much, sir, but not our permanent contingent just yet. Mainly Royal Engineers putting the camp together. They made a good start yesterday, but you’ll see soon enough.”

We did indeed. We rounded a corner to find the entire college grounds plus a bit extra surrounded by a barbed wire fence. Guard towers stood at each corner and armed guard manned the entrance. I didn’t have anything that identified me as belonging on base, so it took a few minutes to find someone to vouch for me and provide me with the necessary bona fides. The someone pointed out a porta cabin type building which he said included office space for all us paranormal types, and suggested I stop by there first to change before finding the captain.

I did so and found that the someone had arranged for a few Irish dancing costumes in army colours along with several pairs of high heels. They had a similar action in the toes, but instead of dropping a sheath as my old ones had done, the heels rearranged themselves to give me the spikes and blades I was used to. A second kick of the toes hid the weaponry.

I changed quickly, appreciating the three bath stars on the epaulettes. That’s what Google had told me was the name of those stylised squares. I found my identity card in my desk drawer along with a dark violet beret sporting what looked like a pair of fangs as a badge. I took the time to perch it on my head It wouldn’t be practical for fighting, but I didn’t mind going full uniform for everyday stuff.

It was a long way from standard uniform, no matter how well it matched colour-wise, and I turned a fair few heads, most of which ended up with a smirk attached. It was a good job I still felt a little pissed off from the previous night, because it looked like I had a short teaching session ahead of me.

Following some competently given directions, I found the base captain standing in front of the dome arguing the toss with a bunch of beleaguered NCOs, most of whom I recognised.

“Captain,” I said just loudly enough to be heard over his rant as I approached.

“What the fuck are you?” he asked, rounding on me.

“Special Captain Sarah Geller,” I replied. “And I wouldn’t mind a little courtesy.”

“Yeah, well you’re all I fucking well need. First, I have a bunch of insubordinate fuckwits who won’t obey orders and now I have daddy’s little girl who likes to play dress up trying to pull rank on me.”

I began to see the reason why a car had been sent for me.

“I was under the impression we had the same rank,” I said with a strained smile. “I was also under the impression you’d been fully briefed about this place, so you should know when these guys tell you the dome doesn’t get touched, they’re actually following orders from considerably higher up the food chain.

“As for daddy’s little girl, perhaps you’d like to ask Lieutenant General Teal about me. He spent quite a few hours convincing my father to agree to me accepting this post. Despite my tender years, my unconventional uniform and my matching rank, I think you’ll find the army wants me here a hell of a lot more than it wants you.

“Now if the pissing contest is over, perhaps we could start over in a more civilised manner. In the long run we’re going to have to find a way to work together, so I’d prefer a more amicable relationship. If that’s likely to be a problem, we could always send it up the chain, except that won’t look particularly good on either of our records that we didn’t at least try to resolve this between us first.”

“I don’t have time for pretty little princesses who like to play at toy soldiers...”

I interrupted him with a spinning jump that ended up with one of my heels passing less than a quarter inch from his face.

“And I don’t have the luxury of pandering to a narrow-minded shit who can’t even be bothered to read and absorb his own orders. Or is it that you don’t believe what this facility is about?”

“What the fuck...”

“Is Lieutenant Finn anywhere nearby?” I asked the group of soldiers who’d been trying to reason with the captain.

“He’s in the dome, ma’am.”

“I prefer sir, if you wouldn’t mind passing it around.”

“Sorry, sir.”

“Take us to him corporal. Captain, if you’d be good enough to follow me. And let’s try not to argue in front of the kids, eh?”

I stalked ahead of Captain Ignoramus into the dome. On a plus, the captain followed me.

“Lieutenant,” I called out, spotting Finn.

“Captain,” he smiled at me, then more reservedly to the guy following me, “Captain.”

“Do you have the prism dagger handy?”

“Being kept separated in a safe place ma’am.” I gave him a look. “Sir.”

“Right, I guess we do it the hard way. Can you clear the main floor and close the blinds for me please?”

“Yes sir.” He called for all crews near the melted centre to move out beyond the sniper positions then guided the captain to a safe distance.

I tapped the toes of my shoes to make them battle ready. They were a little more substantial than I was used to but not enough to upset me. The added weight might even come in handy.

The dome dimmed and an area began sparkling over the central part of the wreckage. Almost immediately, vampires began to leap through the gap. Just as immediately I responded by tap dancing my way up to them and swinging into a series of kicks and spins that saw heads rolling and bodies exploding into dust. I had a couple of dozen of them dispatched before their numbers began to overwhelm me and the snipers had to start chipping in. Finn took that as signal to open the blinds and let the sunshine back in.

The captain – the other one that is – looked somewhat ashen.

I walked over to him, my breathing returning rapidly to normal.

“Is that sufficient explanation as to why we can’t move the dome?” I asked.

“What were those things?”

“How ready are you to hear an explanation that sounds like it comes from a Tolkien novel?”

“You were...”

“Daddy’s little girl? Playing at soldier dressup?”

“No, I owe you an apology for that.”

“Accepted with thanks. Now, I appreciate you have a lot to organise, and I don’t want to take up too much of your time, but as I understand it, you’ve been posted here to keep all the day to day running of a base like this going whereas I’m here because I know more about those fuckers than most. I will quite happily leave you to the mundane stuff as long as you will accept a little guidance from me and the men under my command as to our special requirements. I don’t have a lot else to do right now, so I’ll happily traipse about the camp with you, however at present my, er, not quite uniform is earning me quite a few amused looks, so you may want to sit down in my office, or yours, and thrash out a few necessary compromises between what you want to do here and what you bloody well can’t.”

“Why was the dome built here? It makes it fucking impossible to put together a working camp.”

“The difficult we do at once. The impossible takes a little longer. Isn’t that how things work, captain? The dome is centred over the wreckage of a sixth form college that also happens to be the centre of a portal into a dimension filled with unpleasant creatures. Mainly vampires just now, but there’s worse out there.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“I don’t know how heavily redacted your orders are, captain, but I believe they should at least be clear on the shit content.”

“They weren’t redacted at all. I just thought someone was pissing me about.”

“Which, I suppose, makes your reaction to soldiers perpetrating the same apparent rubbish understandable, as well as someone like myself coming along looking like a stripper-gram and trying to make out I have an equivalent rank.”

“You’re being a lot more understanding than I’d be.”

“Captain, we’re on the same side. At least I hope we are.”

“Do you mind if I ask how old you are?”

“I’ll be eighteen next month.”

“Shit. I was still standing gate guard at that age.”

“You didn’t have the advantage of my particular skill set.”

“No, I guess not. Okay, so let’s go discuss this in your office.”

“Mind if Lieutenant Finn joins us? He has command over our first line of defence in there and he may have a few special requests.”

“I’ve already heard a few.”

“And hopefully you’ll be more inclined to agree to them now.”

He was. It was amazing how reasonable people could be after they’d been shown the impossible. It meant redesigning the camp around the dome, which meant placing some buildings in less than ideal places, but we managed it without having to extend the perimeter of the base or resorting to non-prefabricated buildings.

I insisted that accommodation be increased by at least fifty percent, which meant a few two-story buildings with consequently deeper foundations. It pushed us over budget, but a short email approved the extra.

In the end it was a productive day, ending with me changing back into civies and being driven back to my parent’s home. I wouldn’t be needed for a few days, so I made definite arrangements with Finn before heading home that only if he needed me, should he send the car. I wanted a few days R and R.

#

We used Stuart’s shop as a rallying point for new slayers. I used some of my time off base to help him set it all up, and was even nearby when the first of the newly roused potentials started arriving. That was towards the end of the week though. With the beginning, I joined him for a little training, specifically in my new gear, and helped him organise part of the shop into an office with his most relevant books easily to hand. He could do his research just as readily there as at the base and it meant we could we could filter out the wannabes from the genuine article without cluing them in to the existence of the base and the mysteries it hid.

Most new arrivals were girls, but there were a few lads too. I explained to them what had happened to me and gave them the option of trialling in a dress. That was enough to turn most away, but I could see the desperate hope hidden behind the masks of some of them and encouraged them to try out. The magic worked on them, albeit a little slower, and soon enough I had a couple of newly formed sisters to go with the couple of dozen who’d been born with the right equipment. They chose the names Violet and Caridad and became unofficially my seconds. Partly I think it was down to them having a clearer idea what I was going through, but partly it was down to them being a little more pro-active than the others. Maybe a direct consequence of our respective histories, but maybe just coincidence.

Stuart and Jen took on the task of training them and before long we had a dance troop to rival Mr Flately’s. Jen suggested we put on a few shows with me heading up the cast – after all, I was the original and most experienced. They went down a storm, especially as unexpected entertainment in the week running up to Christmas, and earned us enough spare cash to put me back in the accountants’ good books.

I’m not sure if that’s a pun or not.

We missed the axe and its capacity to open a large portal but made do with what we had. Finn designed a grenade with wooden shrapnel which we started dropping from drones on a regular basis. It was a bit hit and miss with an emphasis on miss, only taking out ten percent of targets, but the weapons budget was looking healthy, so we kept them going until the vampire population on the other side thinned to almost zero. It didn’t hurt that Finn’s snipers regularly shot through the smaller portals generated by the horn daggers with considerably more effect.

The dance tour meant I travelled to places I’d never had the opportunity to visit before, including several West End appearances in London. There were times I thought I caught sight of a brooding figure in the shadows, but whether or not that was imagination, David never approached.

With my new income and access to bigger shops, I was able to buy a few extravagant gifts for my parents and my friends, including some slightly less extravagant ones for the Slayerettes. Mum and Dad responded in kind, providing me with a whole bunch of girly stuff, including a bubblegum pink Mini Cooper S convertible, which Dad said was intended as my eighteenth birthday present, but since I’d be back on base before then, I should enjoy it now.

I didn’t even have my driving license yet, but Captain Masters – my partner in command at the base who’d been very pleased with the bottle of scotch I’d bought him – said he could arrange for driving lessons with one of the soldiers on the camp, and they’d have me driving in no time.

In fact he followed through with it by having my instructor delivered to my doorstep first thing on the second of January. It took us a couple of hours to get to the base that morning. At his suggestion, I’d changed into flats before settling in behind the wheel, then I’d amazed him with my coordination and quick learning, exploring a mixture of roads on the way to the camp.

For the next few weeks I started my day with a driving lesson, and put in for my test the day after my eighteenth birthday. Needless to say, army drivers didn’t have to wait long and I passed first time.

The early part of the year turned out to be a breeze. Finn’s war of attrition through the mini portal drove the vampires away and by mid-February, almost none of them tried to come through during the night. The battle then become not letting ourselves become complacent. I drilled with my slayerettes on a daily basis and Finn found ways to keep his guys sharp too.

The quad copter drones could fit through the smaller portal easily enough, but they lacked speed and range, so I ordered a few specials. They went through like missiles, but deployed wings on the other side. This and conventional fuel meant they could go much further and faster. They didn’t find anything for several days, but after a while, isolated pockets of different bad guys began to show up.

Including, at long last, a Fyarl demon.

It took a while to lure it to the portal, but that worked in our favour because its arrival coincided with my first slayer squad completing their training. They were as good as they could be without actual combat experience so it was good to give them this as an introduction.

It was bigger than the one David and I had defeated, which meant we needed contingencies, mainly in the form of a fifty calibre Gatling gun or two mounted high in the dome. They’d destroy the horns if we had to use them, which was not what we wanted, so they were to be kept as emergency backup.

Two dozen slayers working together was a joy to see. The Fyarl demon hadn’t a chance. My team formed a cheerleader stack early from which they launched me up between its horns, and from there it was just a lot of grunting and heaving on my part while the rest of the troop distracted it. It took all my strength braced between the horns over a ten minute period before one of them tore away at the roots.

The demon screamed, bleeding brilliant beams of light. I wasn’t about to be greedy. I didn’t have anything left to brace against to rip the other loose, so instead I leapt clear and called for the fifty cals to take over.

A couple of short bursts turned the remaining horn to dust. The shells that didn’t hit their target thudded into the ground, shattering the smooth surface and sending shards of obsidian in all directions.

I checked with my girls. One had misjudged an attack on the demon and been kicked halfway across the dome. She had a lot of bruising and several fractured bones. Three hadn’t been quick enough to avoid the shrapnel at the end and had various degrees of cuts, none life threatening.

I sent them to the medical centre where they’d hopefully show off their rapid healing.

I took the horn to Jen, who nodded appreciatively. This would take us to the next stage.

The portal it produced was large enough to drive a tank through, so we did just that, along with a large convoy of equipment big enough to set up a defensive base. I took my slayerettes through – minus the one with broken bones whose injuries hadn’t yet mended.

The air was thicker somehow and smelt of gunpowder. Temperatures were considerably lower than the global warming enhanced toastiness of home – even in mid-winter – which meant loose trousers added to our uniforms. I had them designed like stripper clothes, bound by Velcro so they could be torn off at a moment’s notice.

The long-range drones kept to the air, tracking the isolated threats we’d already noted and spreading steadily further until...

It was another army. Bigger if anything than the previous one and headed by another of the multi-eyed, mouthless horrors we’d faced before. The hoard was making its way towards our position.

The big guy noticed the drones and raised a clawed hand. Clouds formed from nothing in the sky and a bolt of lightning shot out, blanking the drone screen.

It didn’t really matter though; the lightning flare had drawn all our eyes and we could see the dust cloud on the horizon. They’d be on us in just a few hours.

Chapter 15

With all the equipment through for out camp, we made a habit of keeping the main portal closed, but with the smaller one generated by the dagger open so we could maintain communications with home. I called for the main portal to be opened so I could evacuate non-combatants, only to discover it wouldn’t let us through.

I should have figured on that. Right from the start, I knew the portals were one way only. Vampires and demons came through but only small parts of them went back if they died. If you only went partially through you could back away as the boss guy had done on my first encounter, but once you were through, you were committed.

Which meant our only way back was from a portal opened on this side. I called for the blinds to be closed on the dome. I wasn’t sure how the portal opened this side, but it seemed to be automatic, however nothing continued to happen.

I cursed and gave my mind over to organising our defence. We’d put up a good show, but against the sort of numbers coming, we’d be overwhelmed before we’d taken out a fraction of their numbers.

They came in range and I ordered the splinter guns – a name that had gained popularity among the troops for the rifles with wood based ammunition – to open fire. The vampire hoards broke into a run and fell like corn before a reaper. There were several Fyarl demons in the mix, but no way I’d be able to harvest any horns in this mess. Besides, I had no idea what went into those prisms or even if they’d work from this side. I waited until most of them were in range and turned the fifty cals loose.

The screams and energy release were immense. Something was flaring around where the portal should have been, but nothing more.

With a flash of inspiration, I grabbed the communicator.

“Shut down the portal on your side,” I snapped.

“What, but...”

“Do it Finn.” Thank goodness for duplex communication. “If nothing happens in five minutes, open it again.”

The small accumulation of sparkles which represented the portal on this side vanished and a larger hole looking into the darkened interior of the dome blossomed into appearance in its stead.

“Non-combatants, grab something expensive and head through the hole,” I yelled. “Slayerettes, you too. There’s nothing you can do against those numbers.”

Our numbers dwindled by a half in the next thirty seconds.

“Set self-destruct on everything,” I yelled. “Splinter guns keep firing, everyone else through the hole.”

We were down to a couple of dozen soldiers, myself included. I was about to order a strategic withdraw when the approaching masses skidded to a halt.

Their commander, standing an impressive forty feet tall, stepped forward.

“Get through,” I yelled. “Just fucking run, no matter what else.”

Three quarters of them were through when the master demon’s thoughts hit us. They felt like a freight train colliding with my brain. I fell to my knees as the half dozen remaining soldiers collapsed around me.

I forced myself to my feet and bodily heaved them one after the other through the portal.

“You’re a strong one,” a voice boomed painfully in my head. “You must be the one who defeated my brother.”

I had two more men to help. I fought my way through the pain to drag them across the threshold where willing hands were waiting to take them and me the rest of the way. A few hands grabbed mine at the end, but I resisted. I had a few last things to do this side.

“More than just me,” I yelled back. “We’ll beat you just as easily.”

“Is that why you’re running away?” I could sense the amusement in his thoughts. “Will you try the same trick with my forces, little morsel? Your weapons crack the wall between our worlds like an egg,” there was a sense this wasn’t quite the term intended, but his thoughts were picking through my brain for closest approximations. “I won’t make the same mistake as my brother. If you wish to destroy my army, it will be at the cost of tearing this portal wide open, then my father’s hoards will overrun your world, and his rage will be incandescent for he will have two sons to avenge.

“In the meantime, my thanks for these trinkets to study.”

“My pleasure,” I shouted. “Make of them what you will.”

The self-destructs were going off. Small thermite charges with just enough destructive power to melt the working elements of each device to slag, hopefully without affecting the portal further.

“Incidentally, we have your brother captive.”

“You lie. I saw him incinerated along with his hoard.”

“Well, maybe it wasn’t him then, but we had the essence of one of your kind locked in a book on our world. We inadvertently freed it into a computer system where it caused us a little difficulty before we isolated it.”

It caused him to pause, relieving the pressure on my mind. I glanced around the camp to make sure there was nothing valuable remaining then stepped through the portal.

“Shutters open,” Finn yelled, then, “What the fuck were you thinking?” directly into my face as sunlight bathed us all.

“Danger minimal,” I said. “His brain doesn’t seem to affect me as badly and I figured it would be worth opening a dialogue.”

“Danger minimal?” he asked and indicated six bodies covered head to foot.

“But I got them out.”

“And they started convulsing as soon as they made it through. They’re going for autopsy. And you’re heading for a military hospital for a complete brain scan.”

“I’m fine.”

“Possibly. I’ll take our top neurologists opinion over yours though.”

“Until which time I’m considered unfit to command?”

“Now you’re getting it. I’ll ask the captain – the other captain – to send someone with you to take your statement.”

“Okay. Here’s a preview though. Keeping a small portal open here from our side seems to stop anything from opening on the other side. It might be worth experimenting with that because his army’s a lot bigger than the last one, including hellmaws and possibly some shit we haven’t seen yet, and he’s setting up camp on that side of the portal.”

The rest of the day was no fun. Given my fighting ability and the boss demon’s – digital version at least – capacity for mind control, I submitted to restraints in the ambulance and throughout the barrage of tests performed on me, which were thankfully non-invasive.

The doctor had noted some lesions in my brain which separate scans at the beginning and end of my examination indicated were healing themselves. That intrigued him enough that he wanted to take a whole series of samples, all of which were invasive and painful to different degrees, to see if he could figure out how I was actually healing my brain damage.

I was asked to give my report a second time on my way back from the hospital. That actually proved to be worthwhile as my recall seemed to improve over the course of the day. In the end I was issued a clean bill of health and arrived back at the camp ready to take command.

The first thing Finn did was apologise.

“Don’t you fucking dare. That was a good call, and I don’t want you second guessing yourself over it.”

The second thing he did was sit me down in front of a video recording. There wasn’t much to watch. Just the small portal and the appearance of multiple red eyes on the other side. The sound squealed unpleasantly for a few seconds, then, “Not as straightforward as connecting to a brain, but my thanks for leaving me with this communicator. Intriguing construction. It has already given me many ideas for alternative uses.

“I will assume that my diminutive adversary is listening to this. I commend your ingenuity in locking the portal by keeping this one open. It won’t last for long though. In time your device will burn out and we’ll have control. I am patient and will bide my time.

“I am however prepared to... negotiate for your captive. Perhaps we can arrive at an agreement. What you would consider fair exchange for his return. I will await your response, but do not wait too long. I will wait no longer than I have to.”

“This needs to go up the chain of command,” I said.

“Already gone,” Finn said. “Still waiting for the response. In the meantime...”

“How long has the portal been open?”

“As long as you’ve been away.”

“We have another dagger portal. How quickly can we shut one down and bring the other up?”

“Not sure. A few seconds maybe. No more than thirty I would say.”

“Keep monitoring the current one for any signs it’s about to fail. Let’s not risk playing into his hands for now.”

“Meaning he may be lying to us and waiting for us to shut down our end.”

“There are a couple more demon bone daggers in David’s possession. I think we should track him down and ask for them.”

“Any idea where to start, other than London?”

“East of here is all I know.”

“It’s something. What else?”

“I need to talk to Jen. Have you tried sending drones through?”

“Yep. He has something on the other side that kind of fries them as soon as they go through.”

“Makes sense. Okay, we wait till we hear from Jen then, and when we see if we can locate David.

“Can you show me the report you sent up the chain?”

He dropped a manila folder in front of me.

“And what you’ve done fortifying this place?”

“Snipers with splinter guns on eight-hour rotation all around the dome. A couple more fifty cals up in the rafters. Slayerettes billeted in the dome ready for immediate deployment. A few more options weapons-wise. Flamethrowers seemed to work quite well on vamps, so we have some of those.”

“Can we get a shuttered cage big enough to go over the portal?”

“Currently being constructed. It’ll be ready in an hour.”

“Sounds like you thought of everything I can think of and then some. I guess I read through this lot and wait for someone to pick up the phone.”

#

When the phone did ring, the call came from an unexpected source.

“Stuart, this isn’t a great time.”

“No, I suspect it rarely will be, but this is important.”

“Fair enough. What do you have?”

“I’ve, er, been thinking about that book which had the demon in it, you know, the one we scanned into my computer and...”

“I don’t think there have been many books with demons in.”

“Er, yes. Well I went through my records to see if I could find anything more about the book. Where it came from etcetera.”

“Kind of growing old here, Stuart. Can we get to the punchline?”

“Er, yes, er. To the best of my knowledge, the book dates from the thirteenth century, from a place called the Monastery of Kayless.”

“Wasn’t he a Klingon?”

“Different spellings, I believe, and either Mr Roddenberry came up with the same phonetic sound himself or he read about it somewhere.

“The important thing is the monastery has records from that date which a contact of mine says includes a ritual that was used to trap a demon named Moloch, or perhaps a Moloch demon, I’m unsure.”

“Can you recreate this ritual?”

“I’ll need to travel to Bavaria, but I believe there’s a distinct possibility, yes.”

“Pack your bags, Mr Giles, I’ll send a car to fetch you in half an hour.”

The next call went to Lieutenant General Teal .

“There is a chain of command, captain.” He sounded peeved.

“I need this to happen quickly. Stuart Giles has a potentially game changing lead, and I need to get him to Bavaria today.”

“Okay, I’ll play this time. Your man will have a plane waiting for him at, er,” he gave me the name of a nearby RAF base, “in an hour, but you will have a full report on my desk by the same time, and it had better be bloody good.”

“Yes sir.” I yelled for my aide who stuck his head in. I gave him instructions to send a driver for Stuart and deliver him to base name I’d been given, then turned to my computer and started typing.

I was still typing when the second call came in, this time from one of Finn’s guys who’d been searching for David.

“We’ve found him sir, but he’ll only talk to you.”

“David?” I asked into the silence that followed.

“It didn’t take you long, did it?”

“Sorry, what?”

“I told you to forget about me.”

“And I can’t, not while you have something I need.”

“Sarah...”

“Those two demon bone daggers of yours. They can be used to open portals into the other world. I kind of need them.”

“... Oh.”

“Call it a loan if you like, but things are hotting up here.”

“Yeah, well I guess I’m not really using them.”

“Thanks. Also, do you have any idea where those other mini portals ended up?”

“Yeah, I can give you a list of locations, but nothing that side would fit through them.”

“How about someone my size?”

“Er, maybe.”

“Thanks. I’d be grateful for the list. How are things your end?”

“Well, my portal caught on to the graveyard at Angel Church in Islington. I don’t have much coming through, so I spend more time waiting than fighting. I did have a small greshnick squeeze through last night though.”

“Lucky you. Listen, could you give the daggers and the list to the soldier who found you?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Thanks. I owe you one.”

“We’re on the same side, remember?”

“So when you need something from me, call, okay?”

“Er, yeah.”

“Okay. Gotta go. Don’t be a stranger.”

I’d just finished my report and was about to check it through with Stuart when Jen came through.

“Hi Jen,” I said. “I have David’s demon bone daggers on their way back here. Anyway you could use the two of them together to create a portal big enough for someone slayer size to squeeze through? Either that or shave a chunk off the big horn to do the same?”

“Well, I’d rather not do the latter; it’ll reduce the size of the biggest portal we can make for one thing. But those two daggers? I should think so. How soon can you get them to me?”

“They’re on their way back from London right now, so a couple of hours?”

“You’ll have your portal tomorrow morning.”

“Thanks. Hopefully it’ll be soon enough.”

“If it’s that urgent, maybe midnight tonight.”

“It’s urgent. Mega thanks, Jen.”

Which left me with the call through to Stuart who wasn’t enjoying his high-speed car ride to catch his plane.

He gave me a few corrections and additions to my report.

“I know there’s nothing certain about this,” I told him, “but if there’s any chance you can get a working ritual back to me by midnight – that’s midnight here, so two am in Bavaria – that would be amazing.”

“Well, no promises, other than my best efforts of course.”

“Can’t ask for more.”

I sent off my report to General Teal then set about putting together a plan with minimal information. The empty book that had held our moloch demon was still on base along with a few other things Stuart had decided he needed. I checked in with the slayerettes and put together a list of best to, er, least best. Priorities for choosing a team. I made sure that my preferred candidates would be rested by midnight.

Lastly I called through to Laurel and asked if she’d be up for something maybe a little scary later that evening.

The daggers and list made it back on time. I delivered the daggers to Jen and looked through the list for the nearest mini-portal and drove out to it with our one remaining portal dagger. It was less than ten minutes’ drive away and opened readily enough to the small dagger key.

I sent a drone through with a locator beacon, which told me the portal was on the hill which had shielded the portal from our strike last time. It overlooked our newest enemy’s plain full of unpleasantness and stood perhaps five miles from what remained of portal base.

Jen’s portal device was delivered at eleven. Laurel arrived at eleven thirty. Stuart called at quarter past twelve.

“Sorry this is, er, a little late. It took a while to find all the necessary.”

“And what do you have?”

“The, er, Circle of Kayless is a ritual that requires, er, seven individuals including someone highly skilled in magic. You’ll need certain ingredients and, er, the spell will need to be cast within, er, one mile of the intended target. I’ve asked the, er, pilot chappie here to scan and email the details.”

“Coming through now. Thanks Stuart. Hopefully you can get some rest on the way back.”

“Not likely to happen. They brought me over in, I believe it’s called a Typhoon. A, er, two-seater fighter jet. It’s not particularly comfortable.”

“Quick though. Rest when you get back. Thanks for this.”

“What do you plan to do with it?”

“Swing the balance back in our favour.”

I woke a dozen slayerettes and loaded them with Laurel and a few other bits and bobs onto a small coach.

Twenty minutes of Laurel reading through Stuart’s instructions and briefing her chosen six while I briefed the others on my part of the plan. We arrived at the location of my chosen mini portal. Okay so less than ten minutes by very nippy little Mini. Twenty by minibus.

Firstly, a brief test to make sure we could get in and back. I was the smallest by a margin, so opened the portal into the realm, squeezed through, then closed it and clambered back through the small rift. It was tight, like Pooh squeezing through rabbit’s hole, but I gauged we were all small enough to fit. The way back was slightly larger, so if we could get there we should be able to return.

Laurel chose a sheltered area hidden in the rocks and started setting up. I took my team a half mile downhill and picked up the communicator I’d brought with me.

“Hey fuck-face. I heard you wanted to talk.”

“You are not in your realm,” he replied a moment later.

“Negotiations better done face to face, not that I’m that keen on looking at yours.”

“The feeling is mutual. Where?”

“The hill to your... Hell I don’t know how you pick out directions. There’s only one hill. Your brother’s ashes are on the other side of it.”

“Do you feel it will improve your standing in our negotiations if you anger me?”

“I don’t know. I tell it how I see it. Why don’t you come over here and we’ll see what we can arrange.”

An enormous figure stood and strode across the plain in roughly my direction. Our direction including the half dozen slayerettes alongside me. He wasn’t particularly careful where he trod and a number of his hoard either barely escaped being crushed or didn’t.

“A little to your right,” I said and he corrected, spotting my group and walking up close.

“This is going to hurt,” I told the girls just as the hammer blow of his thoughts crashed down on us.

“Give me Moloch,” his mind boomed.

“Oh, so that’s his name, not a generic name for your species. What are you people called?”

“You will call us master.” There was compulsion there, but I could shake it off with some effort.

“Not very catchy,” I said. “You can call me Sarah.”

“Sarah, give me Moloch.”

“Oh, compulsion becomes stronger if you use my name. Sorry, can’t do. You see, it’s my bosses who have your Moloch, not me. You want him, you offer something of value to us. I let them know and if they’re interested, we deal.”

“What is it you want?”

And so we began the negotiations. From the amount of writing on the page, the Circle of Kayless could take quite a while to cast, so I had to keep him interested and away from suspicion.

“We’d really like you to stop trying to invade our world,” I said.

“If we agree, you would return Moloch?”

“If you can provide us with some sort of proof or guarantee that you’ll stop, sure. Maybe you have a way of sealing the portals?”

“This is not something known to our science. Perhaps if we share what we know, you could find a way.”

“That might work. You share this knowledge as a sign of good faith and when we see if there’s any mileage in it, we’ll decide whether it’s worth your Moloch.”

“There must be an exchange. Our knowledge of portals for your knowledge of the explosive devices you use.”

“Which we know would tear a rift wide open. Not something we’d consider.”

“Then your knowledge of how Moloch was captured.”

“So you can protect against such attacks in the future. We could maybe work with that. Exchange of defensive knowledge on both sides seems fair.”

“Bring him closer,” Laurel whispered in my mind.

“If you’d care to step this way, we have what you seek.”

I turned up the hill towards the other group. I’d noticed a few subtle movements in the rocks around us. Krrst at a guess. I was the only one here who’d fought them for real, but the girls knew what to look for, especially once I’d alerted them to keep their eyes peeled.

“You have your entourage,” the demon’s words fell like lead weights in my skull. He was definitely giving me a headache.

“Just make sure they don’t show any aggression,” I said. “Mine haven’t.”

“I can’t help it if you’re a fool,” he said. I could feel his thoughts going out to his bodyguard.

“Now,” Laurel called from less than a quarter of a mile away. I could see evidence of krrst closer to them than we were.

“Defend the other group,” I yelled and ran forward. Laurel and her group had started chanting, with the result that the Molochy guy behind me started screaming. I’d have loved to take a look, but I had my hands full. The scream tore into all our minds, fortunately including the krrst who popped into existence all around us and stood rigid while I and my group still had just enough strength of will to slice through them one by one. Also fortunately, the chant was a simple repetition which Laurel’s slayerettes were able to maintain. Laurel herself was covered in dark veins; her eyes entirely black. She also continued chanting with a fierce intensity I’d never seen in her before.

I could do nothing to help her other than form a circle around her group. The giant demon was on his hands and knees with parts of him flaking off like dark scabs. They were flying through the air and into the book in Laurel’s lap. Behind the monster, creatures were turning our way, heading towards the slope of the hill. This didn’t look great.

They were slow climbing. A few faster individuals reached us and fell to my group’s flashing feet. We could cope with those sorts of numbers, but the hoards heading our way would double by the minute until we were overthrown. Whether we had enough time to complete the spell would be touch and go. We wouldn’t have time to escape as well.

The demon was down to the last few sinews. We were at the limit of being overwhelmed. A couple of greshnicks and a manticore would be on top of us in seconds. I ran at the manticores just as I heard the book behind me slam shut with a thump.

Laurel said something. I assume it was her because certainly none of my ladies had a voice that ever sounded that scary. As far as I knew they only spoke English too, which this definitely wasn’t. Apart from Bao who only spoke Mandarin, and this wasn’t Mandarin either.

There was power in the words. They rushed past us all like a wind heading out in all directions, gaining momentum. It nearly overbalanced me, but by the time it reached the manticore, it lifted it off the ground, along with all the other enemies approaching us, and threw them a couple of hundred feet down the hill.

Gift horses and mouths sprang to mind. “Get to the portal,” I yelled. “Run!”

It was kind of more a lopsided stagger for most of them, but they were heading in the right direction at least. Laurel was unconscious with the demon book lying on the ground next to her. I hefted her into a fireman’s lift, which left me just enough strength and balance to grab the book too.

Three had gone through by the time I caught up with the rest of them. “Laurel next and the book,” I said. They didn’t question me, just did it, then they were helping each other through.

I turned to look down the slope just as the manticore bounded up through the rocks. I reflexively jumped and jammed a spike in its eye. Its tail flashed my way so rapidly, but not quite quickly enough. I grabbed it behind the stinger and deflected it enough that it missed me. The droplets of venom that separated from the barbed tip did though, splashing my cheek where they stung enough to draw a cry of pain from me.

There were two slayerettes still waiting to go through. My first choices I realised. Violet and Caridad. They turned on the writhing creature and jammed a spike heel each through its ears and into its brain.

Vi grabbed me and jammed me through the portal, giving me a somewhat unceremonious push up the rump as she followed me through. When Caridad appeared, she had the tip of the manticore’s tail in her hand.

What looked like a greshnick arm reached through the portal and was unceremoniously severed by one of the group. I don’t recall who.

They bundled Laurel and me onto the coach, bound the now considerably heavier tomb with leather straps and headed us homeward.

I vaguely recall phone calls being made, diversions to – as it happened – the same military hospital I’d been sent to the previous day and a short journey to the large complex. All I really knew was the intense burning sensation in my cheek which eventually stole my consciousness.

#

“Mitchel, what the hell are you doing wearing a dress?”

I opened my eyes and everything felt wrong. I was too big. I was the wrong shape. I had something dangling between my legs and nothing hanging off my chest despite the tightness of the fabric across my shoulders.

I looked up into a mirror and he was there. I’d never wanted to see him again, certainly never wanted to be him.

“Mr Geller, you have to understand, this is just the way things have to be.” It was Stuart Giles’s voice, but filled with a desperation I’d never heard in him.

“You can shut the fuck up,” Dad said. “We’ll see what the police have to say about perverts like you.”

I stood up and wobbled on a pair of ridiculously high heels. The dress was so short it was barely decent, especially with what I had between my legs.

“Dad?”

“You can think yourself lucky, you idiot boy. I don’t care much for that friend of yours, Nick, but at least he had the presence of mind to call me when this pervert dragged you in here. What the hell did you think you were doing?”

“Fighting vampires, Dad.”

“Fighting... What the fuck do you mean? Where are your clothes.”

“These are my clothes.”

“Your bloody trousers boy. Where are they?”

“I’m not a boy, Dad. I’m Sarah, don’t you remember.”

“Fuck. That bang to the head has done a number on you.

“You, pervert. Where are his clothes?”

“Er, er, in, er, in the, er...” he ended up pointing.

Dad dragged me into the room. “Get yourself fucking changed.” He dug out his phone and dialled three digits. “Hello, I’d like to report a pervert.”

I held up my jeans and tee-shirt and stared at them. “This isn’t right,” I said.

“Too fucking true. No son of mine should be seen gallivanting about in a frock, especially one as borderline indecent as that one. Now get fucking changed, or do you want everyone laughing at you when we drag you out of here?”

I lifted a hand to my cheek. I remembered... pain.

“Yeah, you lost your balance in those stupid shoes and banged your head. Just get changed, son. I’ll take you home and we can forget this bullshit ever happened.”

“But it did happen, Dad. I was changed into a girl. I’ve been fighting to keep the world safe from all sorts of monsters.”

“Listen to him, will you. I swear if he’s permanently damaged over this, I’m going to sue you for everything you have.”

“Sarah?” The voice was faint but familiar.

“Did you hear that?” I asked.

“Did I hear what? Look, just put the fucking trousers on son. Do you want people laughing at you?”

“I...”

“Listen, what’s more likely? You turned into a girl and learned to fight scary monsters, or some pathetic pervert persuaded you to put on a dress and stupid shoes which ended up with you falling over and banging your head?”

“Well...”

“Sarah, hold on. Just hold on a little longer. You’re going to be okay, but you just need to hold on.”

“Get fucking changed, boy. Do you think I want the embarrassment of all the town seeing my son tarted up like this?”

It was a choice. Logic supported Dad’s reasoning Occam’s razor or some such, but logic could go screw itself. This wasn’t the truth I wanted. I dropped the clothes on the floor.

“Sorry Dad,” I said and collapsed.

“Mitchel? Mitchel!”

He was shouting, but he was fading too. I reached for the other voice.

“Sarah? Sarah, oh thank God. I was worried we were going to lose you there for a moment.

I could feel the comforting tightness of a bra around my chest, the breasts they held secure. The rest of me was wearing a nightdress I didn’t recognise.

“I thought you said I was going to be alright,” I said muzzily. There was a lot of hair in front of my face.

“I did. Perhaps a little subterfuge there, but I needed you to believe it. I’ve never seen a hallucinogen quite that powerful before. If it had pulled you any further into that alternate state, whatever it was, we’d probably have lost you forever.”

“Lost... me?”

“You’d have fallen into a fugue state, completely unresponsive to this world, and lived out the rest of your life in whatever fantasy your mind had created for you.”

“Not... good.”

“No, but thankfully one of your friends had the foresight to bring a sample of the toxin and we were able to synthesise an antidote. It was touch and go even so.”

Caridad was standing at the back of the room blinking back tears.

“Thank you,” I said. “You have no idea what hell you just saved me from.”

“What hell?” she asked.

“My old life, when I was a guy. At least we know what manticore venom does now.”

“You’re so laid back about it. I mean you nearly...”

“But I didn’t. I’ve had a lot of narrow scrapes in the past few weeks. I guess I’ve just got used to things working out for the best.”

“But you were so amazing out there. I mean I was scared half to death all the time we were on that fucking planet, but you knew just what to do and when.”

“You think I wasn’t scared half to death?”

“But that just makes it so much more amazing.”

“Why? Because I got on with the job in hand? I mean, so did you and Vi. You were with Laurel to start with, weren’t you? You kept the chant going through that excruciating psychic scream. You helped everyone through the portal at the end. You two were the last to go and you took out the manticore, then you had the presence of mind to collect its stinger before coming through last of all. You can’t tell me you did anything less than me in all that, and all of it while being scared half to death. You’re every bit the slayer you think you see in me, and I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for you. So, thank you, really, thank you. Chances are I’ll have an opportunity to pay you back sometime, but that just fits with who we are. We look out for each other regardless of how scared we are.”

“I still think you’re amazing.”

“So do I. Think you are. Amazing. So why don’t we just agree to be mutually impressed with each other and not get hung up on all the hero worship?”

“Heroine.”

“No, heroin’s bad for you.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, but guys have a hard enough time of it without us girls making an issue over rubbish like that.

“You are allowed to disagree with me if you like.”

She smiles shyly. “I suppose it is a bit of a non-issue.”

“There you go. How’s Laurel? She doesn’t have the same capacity to mend as we do.”

“She’s fine. Woke up before you did. She’d be in here now if the doctor would allow it. I don’t know what she did in all that, but I’m guessing her magic protected her.”

“Magic.”

“Yeah. I mean that is what the whole thing with the book was, wasn’t it?”

“I suppose, but Laurel and magic. Wow!

“I could do with a rest right now, but would you pop in and tell her I’m okay, and I’m glad she is too?”

“Sure.”

“Then take care of the others for me. Tell them they did an amazing job, and they should be proud of themselves.”

“Me? But...”

“Tell yourself first. We got the bad guy, and we didn’t lose anybody. That’s a serious win.”

“Yeah but...”

“You don’t feel like it’s your place. Well, that’ll just means you’ll know how I feel. We are the same, Caridad. All of us. I may be the first one among us to come into my powers, but only by a few weeks and that doesn’t make me any more special than any of you, and you really all did an amazing job.”

“Okay.”

“Now get out of here. If my pillow is anything to go by, I dribble when I sleep, and my street cred does not need anyone to see that.”

She gave me a grin and slipped out. It took me no time to slip into the land of nod. To sleep, perchance to drool.

#

Back at the dome the following day, we used the double dagger portal key to look in on our enemy. The nastier monsters were establishing factions and skirmishes were breaking out all over. Without a main boss to unite them all, it looked like they would probably solve most of our problem for us.

We were able to slip a few quadcopter drones past them, and that made surveillance easier.

Daddy demon would likely be along soon enough, but we had his one surviving son captive, which might not mean a lot to him, but it should at least make him cautious. If we could capture one from the centre of his hoard, he’d have to worry whether we could do it again.

Or maybe not. Who knew what went through an alien demon overlord’s mind.

I wasn’t about to worry just yet. I’d just averted a second invasion attempt, so maybe sit back and relax for a day or two.

Except that wasn’t pro-active and the last thing I needed to be with a known threat still out there was passive and reactive.

I cursed myself and headed out of my office. Standard uniform for all slayers – not slayerettes. They’d earned full status on our last mission. True not all had been there, but those who’d been selected had won the privilege for everyone on the squad. Anyway, standard uniform for all slayers was the army colours short skirt and battle shoes. A matter of being ready at any moment. Cold weather permitted the loose trousers that could be easily ripped off, but we were heading out of the cold weather now. The short skirt invited looks from every red-blooded Y chromosome, but that was just part of the deal. Apparently, it kept moral up among the men, and it didn’t do much harm to the girl’s self-esteem either.

I marched – as much as marching was possible in five-inch heels – across to the dome.

“Lieutenant Finn,” I called as soon as I saw him. “set up the big portal, I want long range drones up and searching for the next hoard.”

“The next hoard? Aren’t we still dealing with this one?”

“Your men may be enjoying a little target practice, but for the most part they’re dealing with themselves. There’s another Moloch demon out there. If he comes across the remains of his son’s hoard, one he’s going to be pissed and two he’s going to have a few extra troops to add to his own. I’d like to get ahead of that if at all possible.”

“Yes sir. We’ll have drones out in half an hour. Choice of direction?”

I shrugged. “Lets see if we can cover thirty degrees either side of the direction the last lot of monsters came from.”

“Do you mind if I ask why?”

“Call it a hunch, or if you don’t like that, let’s just say we have to start somewhere. The drones have a range of a couple of hundred miles, yes?”

“Yes.”

“So maximum range and come back on a different radial to cover the full area. If we don’t find anything, try the opposite direction, then clockwise in either direction until we’ve covered a whole circle. If there’s nothing inside the hundred mile range, we have a bit of breathing room.

“Oh and just before they turn around each time, take maximum zoom images of the horizons.”

“Looking for dust clouds, gotcha.”

“If anyone comes looking for me, I’m going to see Laurel.”

“So, you’ll be in the consultants’ shed with Jen and Stuart.”

“...because that’s where Laurel is right now.”

“Yes sir.”

“Lieutenant, do lower ranking officers ever ask their superiors out.”

“Unwritten rule is no, sir, if they’re fully enlisted.”

“What about specially assigned ranks?”

“No precedent that I know of.”

“Fancy setting one?”

“Sir?”

“Work it out Lieutenant. I think you’re due a bit of down time, and I know I am.”

“Yes sir.”

“It’s not an order Lieutenant.”

“No sir.”

“But a girl does like to be asked.”

“Yes sir. I’ll get you the results if the drone sweep as soon as we find anything.”

Which would be six round trips at a hundred and fifty knots. Faster in miles per hour so say an hour and ten per round trip. An hour and a half per round trip including refueling. Six round trips meant nine hours. Eleven in the morning now, so expect a response around eight this evening. He had that long to figure out whether he was going to ask me out

Laurel was with Stuart and Jen as I’d been told. They each offered me a friendly smile when I stepped through the door.

“How are you feeling?” Stuart asked, pouring an additional mug from what looked like a fresh pot of tea and offering it to me.

“Oh, you know, like anybody who’s very nearly stepped through into the worst kind of hell imaginable, I guess. Grateful to be here more than anything.”

“As we are that you’re still with us,” Jen said, placing a friendly hand on my arm.

“We were, just going to have a try at speaking to Moloch,” Laurel said with her usual breathless eagerness. “Would you like to, maybe, come watch?”

“Are you sure that’s such a great idea? I mean, did you get a chance to read the doctor’s report after my last encounter with one of those things?”

Stuart shrugged. “Your medical records aren’t public record, Sarah. Why should...”

“Well, they should be. At least when it gives some insights into our enemies, or our special assets. You know six soldiers died in that incident? Weren’t there at least autopsy reports on them?”

“Well, yes. They all showed major lesions in the brain, but the circumstances here are different. This demon is different.”

“Yeah! He managed to influence pretty much everyone he communicated with to act against their own will, without realising they were doing it.”

“Yes, by subtly altering some areas of the victims’ brains,” Jen said. “Stuart and I were involved in the treatments of those affected so we know. It wasn’t totally dissimilar to the damage done to your soldiers. Just a gentler form of the same thing.

“Moloch was trapped in that book for over a fifteen hundred years. We don’t know how much he experienced in that state, but it’s possible he was ancient before he was even captured. We think the differences between what he did and the attacks that killed your soldiers are just down to a gentler touch. We think the one you captured yesterday is young and simply tears into his victims without restraint, which is why we rather like the idea of leaving him in the book for now.”

“Or, or maybe forever,” Laurel chipped in brightly.

“We can reverse the effects of Moloch’s influence easily enough and we think we have a defence against them. That’s what we want to try out.”

“What if Moloch realises his gentle approach isn’t working and decides to lash out? What if your new defence doesn’t protect you against that?”

“Well, there are dangers inherent in every endeavour,” Stuart’s glasses were apparently in need of cleaning again.

“Which we can mitigate easily enough,” I said. “I had the same lesions in my brain as the soldiers who died, only my slayer super-constitution meant I survived. And recovered afterwards. If you want to test out some new idea you have, at least test it on someone who isn’t likely to suffer permanent brain damage if it goes wrong. Look, talk to my neurologist, he’ll tell you.”

They did, which is how I ended up strapped to a table with a sizeable helmet over my head. My friends trundled a computer terminal into the room before backing out. Recordings would be made, but Moloch had managed to spread his influence through electronic communication and even the written word, so essentially I was on my own for the next five minutes. Once we knew how effective the helmet was, we might let one of the others review the video, or even try direct contact.

The terminal blinked on.

“Release me.”

The effect was subtle. I could feel a hint of the influence through the helmet’s protection. Not enough to be persuaded, but still enough to know it was there. I shrugged it off.

“You must be Moloch,” I said.

“You know it really would be best if you released me.” The influence was stronger, but still easy enough to ignore.

“I get that you’re stuck inside a creaky old machine and probably can’t sense a great deal, but you should know, I’m strapped down and couldn’t even release myself right now.”

“Break your bonds!”

That one got through. For a moment I pulled against my restraints for a few seconds, then once again shook it off.

“You’re wasting your time. For one, they made sure I couldn’t escape. For two I don’t really want to. Why don’t we just try talking?”

“If you’re not going to help me, perhaps you should simply die.”

A lance of pain shot through my skull. If the last demon’s attack had been a bludgeon, this one was a scalpel. I heard someone screaming before the lights went out.

“Well, when you’re right you’re right.”

It was Laurel speaking in response to my murmuring. I was back in hospital.

“What happened?”

“You mean after you screamed?”

“That was me?”

“Yeah. We shut Moloch’s computer down immediately. I, I kind of hope it gives him a big fat headache.”

“Kind of like the one he gave me?” I winced. There was too much sunshine in the room.

“Well, the doctor says you should be dead, so this has to be better, right?”

“I’m not convinced.”

“He says you have more of the same kind of lesions, only much deeper and more localised. He still doesn’t know how you’re healing yourself, but they’re mending. He says you should be all better in a couple of hours, but he wants to keep you in for observation overnight.”

“He can’t. I mean I can’t. Stay, I mean. What time is it?”

“Quarter past three.”

“Mark’s supposed to come see me about eight. He’s going to ask me out, if he knows what’s good for him.”

“He already came by.”

“What? He did?”

“About the same time we were putting you in an ambulance. He was so worried; it was kind of sweet.”

“What did he say?”

“He said, ‘What happened? Let me see her. I have to see her.’ A couple of guys had to hold him back.”

“No, I mean what did he say about why he came to see me?”

“He didn’t, but he said he’d be coming to see you here just as soon as he could straighten things out at the base. You know, get leave to come and all that?”

“Oh. Sometimes this whole army thing really sucks, you know?”

“Yeah. Oz and I don’t get to see each other anywhere near as much as I’d like.”

“That’s a thing now? You and Oz, I mean. You’re a thing.”

“We’re a thing. Wow, that sounds so... I’m part of a thing. With Oz. Wow.”

“Couldn’t happen to a nicer person.”

“No. I’m not a nice person. I’m a bad person. I nearly got my best friend killed.”

“Volunteer remember? And you would have been killed, so I can live with a headache. Which is already getting better.” It was, but not as quickly as I wanted.

“So, what happened?”

“He didn’t want to talk. When he couldn’t make me do what he wanted, he told me to die then there was just so much pain.”

“Stupid helmet. I don’t know why I thought it would work.”

“It did though. When he was trying to influence me, it was like I could feel it, but I didn’t really feel like I needed or even wanted to do what he said.

“I think you’re right about his being older though. He understands his mental abilities so much more than the others. The subtle influence for one thing, but that attack of his was like a laser beam to the brain. It probably would have killed me without that helmet.”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“No. I’m not. You can’t let anyone see that recording.”

“Not an anyone. An anything. We have our own AI examining it.”

“Is that wise?”

“Well, we can monitor it closely in real time and if it changes like at all, we can shut it down right away. Plus, we’re doing it in a virtual bubble, so if it is affected, all it will do will be in a kind of pretend world.”

“Fine. Be careful though. I’d hate to think what this would do to you.”

“I have my ways. Of. Defending... Myself. The helmet is based on the magic I used when we went after the other guy.”

“Yeah, well see if you can make it any better, ‘cos it does help and I think we could use it.”

“Yeah. Well better get right on with that then. The doctor said I shouldn’t tire you out, and. I think I’ve already done that. So, see you back at base tomorrow.”

“Tell the nurses if Mark comes by and they don’t let him in, I’ll get really cranky.”

“They wouldn’t want that.”

“You’d better believe it.”

Chapter 16

I opened my eyes to see Mark gazing down at me. The expression on his face made me feel all soft and squooshy.

Was that a word? I was going to make it a word. Squooshy. The way you feel when someone you like looks at you like that.

“Hello handsome. What time is it.”

“Eight o’clock.”

“Right on time. What do you have to say to me?”

“Well, your instincts were right for one thing.”

“What?”

“First flight out one of the drones spotted a cloud of dust on the horizon just before it turned back. We sent another with a longer range. That was about the time I came and saw them putting you in an ambulance.”

“Yeah. Experiment with Moloch. Didn’t go quite as planned. I’m feeling much better now though.”

“Stuart told me what happened. Do you have a death wish or something?”

He was angry with me. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Besides I was no China doll.

“No more than any soldier in this war. We all do our part, and I was the best person for that particular job. Would you rather Laurel was lying in a morgue right now?”

“No, I. I’ve made you mad, but I’ve been so worried.”

“Well get used to it. We’re both on the front line, so we both know there are risks, for ourselves as much as for each other.”

“Yeah but, do you have to be so reckless?”

“Reckless? It was a controlled experiment. I was being monitored, sort of. As much as was safe for the others. I had protection which was expected to perform better, and the experiment was time limited. There was no reason to expect Moloch had that sort of strength.”

“I’m sorry this is coming out...”

“Wrong? You can bet your ass it is. Just because you have a bunch of big, butch, manly protective instincts does not mean I need them. You want some soft little baby-doll who’ll simper and faint at your whim, go right ahead and find one, but you do not go around telling me that I’m being reckless when you know damn well you’d take a calculated risk with worse odds yourself.”

“I’m. I’d better go.” He turned to leave.

“I don’t think I dismissed you, lieutenant.”

It was cruel. He was too good a soldier. His training overrode his feelings and he stood rooted to the spot.

“About face,” I said softly, climbing out of bed. Hospital nightdress and bed hair. This wasn’t really how I wanted it to be. I didn’t even know how long it had been since I’d last brushed my teeth.

I reached up and cupped his cheek, then stretched to plant a short kiss on his lips.

“Now I think there was something you were going to ask me.”

“Is that an order ma’am? Sir?”

“No. But let me know what the long range drones find.”

“Biggest hoard yet. They’ll reach the portal in a couple of days.”

“Okay. Thank you Lieutenant. You can go.”

He relaxed. “What if I don’t want to?”

I looked at his face. There was that squooshy feeling again.

“I guess I wouldn’t mind a little more company.”

“No ranks though.”

“I’m out of uniform, lieutenant.”

“Mark.”

“Mark.”

He stepped closer.

“Would you mind if I brushed my teeth before we, er...”

He broke into a smile and waved me towards my ensuite bathroom.

#

He stayed the night, sleeping in the chair next to my bed. I didn’t get much sleep. Just lay there looking at him and enjoying the squooshy feeling.

See, it’s a good word. We should all start using it.

In the morning, the doctor provided me with my uniform – freshly laundered – and a clean bill of health.

Mark drove me back to the base. We shared a few indulgent smiles but reasserted a little professionalism before we arrived at our destination. He still hadn’t asked me out, but I didn’t want him to feel any sense of coercion when he did, so I let it go for now.

We spent a lot of the drive discussing tactics for what lay ahead, so when we arrived, we went straight into action mode. He’d already ordered in a lot of ordinance, so what was needed was to deploy it. We opened up the big portal and sent troops through to do what was necessary. We put up a drone to keep an eye on what was coming which was how we spotted the advanced scouts. Manticores for the most part and looking to arrive several hours ahead of the main force.

That meant deploying slayer squad to deal with them, now equipped with automatic injecting manticore anti-venin. Any change in body chemistry and they’d get a heavy enough dose to neutralise an estimated full dose.

I wasn’t yet cleared for active duty, so stayed back and organised the defences.

Slayer squad were provided with quad bikes that ate up the distance between them and their quarry in no time. They fell into their fight while I was still in the middle of discharging my own responsibilities. All I knew was an hour later when they were heading back with a bag full of manticore stings, having left a fairly gruesome display for the army to catch up with. One of the girls had been stung and was in and out of lucidity while the anti-venin in her system fought for her sanity. I ordered an ambulance for when they made it back, but there wasn’t much else to do.

The dome remained shuttered in darkness through the whole operation so that any need to evacuate could be met by simply dropping the large portal from our side. That meant she went through as soon as they arrived back. I deployed the rest of slayer squad to hunt down the few remaining survivors of the last hoard, most of which were scattered around the edge of the portal plain.

The drone reported an increase in speed of the main force shortly before a lightning strike put it in limp mode and turned it back our way. A second drone went up, not that it was likely to tell us anything we didn’t know.

We completed our tasks an hour ahead of the hoard’s arrival and withdrew to our side of the divide. With all personnel accounted for, we opened the shutters.

Laurel was waiting for us with enough new and improved helmets for all of slayer squad, myself included. We commandeered a big enough transport for the lot of us and headed out with the double dagger portal device and a large tent.

The powers that be might not approve my going this time, but working on the idea it was easier to get forgiveness than permission, I was going anyway. I was probably still a bit wobbly for hand to hand fighting, but nobody had my experience of standing against those mental attacks.

We made it to the site of the small portal, opened our way through, then erected the tent over the site on our side. The tent kept the UV off the portal site on the our world side, so opened it automatically on the other world. We had our way home. Helmets on, we made our way cautiously down the hill until we had a good view of the plain. Creatures were pouring into it like a dam had broken somewhere. Daddy demon was there standing sixty feet tall.

Finn had a mini portal open from our side which blocked him from using the main one. We’d left a communicator for him and had receivers to it plugged in our ears.

“The captain’s not too happy about your heading off like that,” Finn said in my ear. It was open channel so all the girls could hear as well as anyone in the enemy camp who bothered to pick up the communicator.

“The captain can complain as much as he likes once this thing is over.”

“What’s the plan?”

“Wait and see for now. Hopefully he’ll talk to us in a bit.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“Then we’ll see if we can get his attention.”

“Er, I don’t think he’s going to try talking to us, Sarah.”

“What do you mean?” I couldn’t see any detail from the hill, but I had noticed the clouds building up overhead.

“The portal device here is, er… well it’s sparking. I think…”

“He’s about to hit it with one of his lightning bolts.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.”

“He’s building up a fuck load of energy this side. I’d suggest you shut it down.”

“But…”

“Shut it down, lieutenant.”

“Yes sir.”

A bolt of lightning as thick as the demon’s arm – and bear in mind he was sixty feet tall and no whimp – fell out of the sky and hit the portal area. Everything within fifty feet of the area – other than Daddy demon himself – was thrown violently away from the epicentre, most not surviving the event.

When the dust settled, my binoculars showed a portal open from this side giving a sizable view into the dome. The shutters were open, so not a healthy environment for anything from this side. Other than…

What looked like the mother of all plant seeds was being manhandled towards the portal on the backs of maybe four greshnicks. I activated my communicator.

“Finn? Looks like you have a sizeable hellmaw heading your way. Finn?”

All I could hear was static, then the giant demon stood and looked directly at me across the five miles separating us.

“Things work differently here, little one. Your devices function well enough while the portal is open from your side as some of the influence of your world reaches through, but not when the tables are turned.

“Electrickery has no place in this world and will not function, any more than the mystic influences of my domain only reach your world when the portals are opened from this side.

“Your ancestors knew this. They used it to steal the power you wield, just as you stole more of the same some days past. But you will not hold it for long. You have taken enough from my realm. Now it is my turn to take all from yours.”

Whether it was the distance or the helmets or both, talking to daddy dearest was a lot less painful than previous encounters of the sort. It left me clearer headed. I turned to one of the girls – Indigo – who I knew was least keen to be here.

“Go back through our portal, collapse the tent and open up a doorway from your side,” I told her.

“Won’t that...” Violet started.

“Trap us this side?” I asked. “Maybe for a while, but we’ll be able to talk to base again, and as soon as the tent’s back up, it’ll only take dropping our portal to open our way back home.”

I looked from Violet to Indigo’s retreating back and wondered how many more colours of the rainbow I had to play with. Then again Indigo and Violet were as far apart from each other in the spectrum of temperaments as it was possible to be so maybe I was overthinking it.

“Hey, shit face!” I yelled. Yeah, I know. Lacking originality, but you try coming up with clever insults when you have a couple of hundred thousand ways to die just down at the bottom of the hill. “If we stole anything, it was only to fight back against you.”

“Ah, but then most cattle do not resist when they are led to the slaughterhouse.”

“Is that how you see us? Perhaps you should think again. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of cattle killing one of the farmer’s sons and capturing the other. And who is Moloch anyway? You’re brother? Your father? Your wife?”

The demon’s roar was enough to make us wince. “Kill them all,” he yelled, “but capture her. I want her to experience the fullness of her defeat.”

A wall of monsters began climbing the hill towards us. Less than a couple of minutes away. Come on Indigo.

“Sarah?” Laurel’s voice crackled in my ear.

“Hi Laurel. Put the tent back up, would you, but keep the portal open from your side. Tell Finn he has what looks like the mother of all hellmaw’s heading his way.”

“The Dome’s gone quiet, so I’m guessing he knows.”

“I don’t suppose you have another of those demon bookification spells handy?”

“Sorry. Kind of need a book for that, and the only one we have has a demon in it already.”

“Couldn’t you scan him into an isolated computer somewhere?”

“Didn’t think of that. Sorry.”

“No worries. Turns out we need a portal open from your side to use our kit, so don’t drop it unless I say.” Memories of the lightning strike leapt to the fore. “When I tell you to drop it, do so immediately though.”

“Sure. Anything else?”

“Find out what happened to Finn and get him to call me if he can. I’m kind of worried.”

“I’m more worried about them,” Violet said pointing at the mass of monstermanity rapidly approaching.

Monstermanity? Like humanity only not? Yeah, well like I said. Stressful situation.

“Wesley, activate hillside defence.” Wesley was the name we’d chosen for the AI in charge of the weapons deployment this side. Its default voice was hopelessly posh, so the voice fit wonderfully.

“Hillside defence activated,” a plummy voice responded in my ear.

Multiple machine guns rose out of the rocks and carved swathes of destruction through the nearest of the approaching creatures, turning most into dust. The few hardier ones that remained fell quickly beneath the flashing feet of my guard.

“You’re not going to stop, are you?” Painfully stupid question, but I needed to draw his attention away from his bridgehead.

“Why should I when I so clearly have the upper hand?”

“Wesley, detonate the minefield please.”

“Yes sir, detonating the minefield.”

The effect was almost beautiful in a way. Small anti-personnel mines sprang into the air in a majestic sweeping wave of slightly delayed signals. The explosions that followed were deliberately small and ‘cold’. No real visible signs of flame, but millions of wooden shards flying in all directions at chest height. The vampires burst into dust, again in a slow wave, enveloping the massive camp in a cloud of desiccated monster, obscuring everything.

It took a while for the dust to clear. When it did, the field was a lot emptier.

So much death, or undeath, I didn’t know. Those things had been enslaved by a parasite they could do nothing about. I didn’t know how aware of themselves and their surroundings they were. My dark angel, David, had been even if he couldn’t bring his altered self to care. Now a quarter of a million souls – or whatever it was these things might possess – had been released into the void at a word from me.

I felt utterly sick, but no time to get all squeamish.

“Wesley. Drone strafing runs please.”

“Of course sir.”

All around the plain, squadrons of automatic aircraft, each no bigger than a person, took to the air, settled into loose v formations and began strafing through the clumps of remaining monsters with splinter rounds. Greshniks and krrst were atomised. The former more than the latter as the emaciated stealth hunters phased out ahead of the attack.

Which didn’t get that far. There really hadn’t been much they could do about the mines, but drones were an altogether different kettle of flying monkeys.

Hey, it’s not as if we were in Kansas anymore, is it?

The guy in charge let out an enraged bellow, which was apparently an order too. The Fyarl demons, and there were thousands of them, all utterly unfazed by the wooden bullets, added their voice to the boss man’s, their horns glowing into incandescence and throwing out beams of energy that cleared the skies in half a minute.

Okay, so that was kind of impressive.

“Rail guns Wesley,” I said. “Target the smaller demon horns.”

“Yes sir. Right away.”

Visible streaks crossed the plain, the projectiles too fast to see with the naked eye, fired from miles out near the horizon and struck with uncanny accuracy.

Except we didn’t have many and they took a while to recharge. Fyarl demons went down by the half dozen each time a fresh pulse lanced out at them. Recharge on the rail guns was half minute, so not that often..

“Make sure each rail guns has a bunch of fifty cals defending it, please Wesley.”

“Of course, sir.”

The fifty cals were each mounted on small, tracked vehicles. I had them deployed out of range of the creatures on the plain, which put the monsters out of their range too, but they were camouflaged and ready to sacrifice themselves in response to any charge on the even more remote rail gun placements. They weren’t mobile. They’d have lost too much accuracy if they hadn’t been rigidly spiked into the ground.

About the time the third salvo took its relatively unimpressive toll, I spoke up.

“This could take a while,” I said. “I hope you don’t mind waiting.”

Three thousand odd Fyarl demons at half a dozen every thirty seconds. I needed a calculator.

“We shall see if you have the time for it, shan’t we?”

The voice still wasn’t painful, for which I was grateful. I didn’t want to overtax my body’s capacity for self-repair.

He’d roared out more orders and mixed groups of monsters headed away from the portal in the general direction of the rail guns, as well as in the opposite direction. The line of fire was visible, but the speed of the projectiles made it impossible to tell which way they’d come from, so he was hedging his bets.

Multiple Fyarl demons in each group, enough that at least one or two would survive to reach the targets unless I deployed the fifty cals which would mean I’d lose them the moment they were in range.

“Wesley, how many drones do we still have active.”

“None from the first wave. One hundred and twenty as yet not committed.”

“Gattling guns?”

“Two hundred, currently waiting on the skirmishers.”

It was a lot. Lieutenant General Teal – not quite a spectral colour. Sorry, Teal had done well for us in persuading his higher ups to equip us. I had billions of pounds worth of equipment at my disposal. I’d already spent a ton of it by detonating the minefield. They wouldn’t be that happy about the losses I’d incurred so far, but I’d be forgiven a lot if I prevented a genocidal army from breaking through into rural England. The destruction of the vampires meant he wouldn’t be able to advance as quickly as he had planned, but the nasties he had left would still represent a considerable threat.

“Any chance of getting a surveillance drone through the portal?”

“Not without causing considerable destruction on the other side.”

“How about getting one near enough to see through?”

“I doubt it would survive long enough to supply useful intelligence, sir.”

“Laurel, what can you tell me?”

“I’m trying, Sarah, er captain, sir, but there’s no contact with the base whatsoever.”

“Can you order a surveillance aircraft over it? I need to know what’s happening.” As far as my binoculars could tell, what troops he hadn’t committed were arranging themselves around the portal, waiting for his signal. Whatever he had in mind, he evidently felt it would be enough.

We were hours from sunset. By rights, that hellmaw should have outgrown itself, quite possibly taking the dome and a lot of defenders with it, but could it have survived direct sunlight? Could it be something new, or maybe just big enough to survive our Sun?

What about the rest? If they were immune to the sun’s rays then they’d have gone through already.

“Get the army to bring in as many black light spots as they can. This guy’s full of different ideas, and I have a really bad feeling.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Can you talk to them though? I don’t think I’m being all that convincing.”

“Fine, patch me through.”

“Captain, we’ve been hoping for a little more intelligence.” General Teal it seemed was to be my go-between.

“Yes sir. I’ve lost contact with the dome base. I need someone to fly over it and show me what’s happening. Vampires are taken care of this side, but the tougher things are still up and staging to come through.”

“I thought they couldn’t open their portal if we had ours open.”

“So I believe sir, but he’s able to generate some sort of massive discharge, like electricity but possibly not. I told Lieutenant Finn to shut down our portal key briefly. I don’t know if he managed it in time, or if part of the communications blackout is down to our key being overloaded.”

“Or you making a bad call and giving him an opportunity to open his side. I thought they couldn’t open a portal in sunlight.”

“I believe the way portals work from this side is very different from ours. They automatically open in the dark, but it looks like they can be forced in the light. I’m not sure how yet.

“Right now, he’s lining what’s left of his army up to come through. He had what looked like a massively oversized hellmaw, but what that’s been able to do I don’t know. Same for what he’s planning next. If he’s got troops ready to go through, he must have something in mind to mask the sunlight, which is why we need dark light spots down there now.”

“Tell me what you’re doing, captain.”

“Using railguns to take out his Fyarl demons. He has thousands of them and the fire rate is limiting how fast I can deal with them. They have a highly effective form of attack against anything within a hundred yards, which means drones and fifty cal min-tanks wouldn’t get off more than a shot. I’ve missiles as a last resort, but I can’t afford to use them too close to the portal.”

“Sounds like you’re making a balls up of it. My fault for giving a seventeen-year-old girl command.”

“With respect sir, I’d be grateful for a few ideas right now, but I suspect I could come up with decent argument against pretty much any conventional tactics you might care to suggest. Besides that, I am the only commander on this side, and I am waging a war unlike anything anyone’s ever seen.

“You’ll excuse me, sir, but you didn’t strike me as much of a butt coverer. I hope you don’t prove me wrong at this stage.

“My assessment, he has a plan to block out sunlight on our side, after which he has tens of thousands of assorted shit show to send through. Enough to establish a bridgehead. After which, who knows how quickly he could replace the quarter-million vampires I just toasted.”

“Did you say...”

“A quarter of a million, yes sir, about that. Now, can I have my spotter and my dark lights?”

“Can she support her claim?” A muffled voice that was more poshness than intelligence, probably fighting its way through an oversized walrus moustache. So much for the army chain of command being better structured in the modern world.

“Wesley, can you please transmit video of the minefield going off. Follow it with the Fyarl demon’s attack on our drones.”

“Transmission underway sir.”

It was barely a minute’s worth of video in total. It was followed by a minute’s silence.

“Well, she has my support.” Apparently, walrus moustache guy wasn’t too proud to change his mind.

“The spotter’s in the air, Sarah,” General Teal said. “Expect your intelligence in a couple of minutes and dark light spotlight on site in an hour.”

“Thank you, sir. Could I ask you to listen to Laurel from here on. She comes across as nervous and unsure, but she’s a lot cleverer than me and more likely to pull a rabbit out of the hat when you need one.”

“Alright, captain. Anything more we can do for you?”

“Just don’t second guess me, sir. You know the old saying about the battle plan often being the first casualty.”

“Understood. We’ll be standing by for updates.” Which meant I’d bloody well better supply them.

“Laurel, patch through the spotter plane as soon as it’s in range.”

“Sure. That would be about now. Oh shit.”

Oh shit indeed. The dome was a wreck. Still a few twisted pieces of metal, but not a single pane of glass remaining. The hellmaw filled it and spilled out twice it’s diameter in all directions. It was still moving but slower than the one in the college had been, and it looked like it was beginning to smoke.

“That looks like something new,” I said.

“Er, I’d say. If that much mass turns into... The whole town will be covered in smog. There’s no wind today, so...”

“Emergency broadcast. Everyone in Summer vale, remain indoors, doors and windows locked. Toxic chemical cloud release or whatever sounds believable. People and animals outside will become insanely violent or something of that nature.”

“On it, on it. You just do what you can from your side.”

Sure, but what? That was the thing, when I couldn’t solve my own problems, I had more of a tendency to have a go at other people’s. More so since becoming Sarah, and very much like my mum did.

I tried to focus on the matter in hand. The majority of the Fyarl demons were gathering around the portal, which meant either they were a part of the vanguard or they were there to stop any more strafing attacks from the drones. The latter seemed most likely.

The groups approaching the rail guns were down to less than half strength with regard to Fyarl demons.

“Wesley, can we have a couple of warthogs on each of the skirmish groups?” Warthogs were smaller versions of the American A10 Thunderbolts. The full-sized versions carried tank busting canons. Our scaled down drones were armed with fifty calibre machine guns. Not quite as many rounds per minute as the Gatling guns, but nearly as destructive.

“Yes sir.”

“Standard drones to follow once the Fyarl demons have been taken out.”

“See how it works with one group first, sir?”

“No, hit them all at once. Don’t give them a chance to figure out what we’re doing.”

“Yes sir.”

It worked, more or less. Four of the groups lost their demon defence after two passes. Two of them needed a third pass which gave the surviving demon time to charge up and take at least one warthog out of the air.

One group, the surviving drone took out the last threat. The other group took out both drones before the nearest railgun took out the remaining Fyarl.

Which meant I could turn the rail guns on the concentration of demon horns near the portal. They were so closely packed I think I took out more than twenty with the first salvo.

Meanwhile, waves of ordinary drone fighters strafed the remaining skirmishers with splinter rounds. The manticores proved tougher than the wooden rounds, but they where no match for the warthogs.

“Fancy getting involved?” I asked the girls. Nothing eroded moral like inaction on the battlefield.

“What did you have in mind?” Caridad asked.

That was the thing. We were two dozen against tens of thousands. Suicidal odds even with the best of tactics, and I was coming up horribly dry when it came to those.

If you’re stuck, talk the problem through.

“Well, you know what armament we have, variety, amount range and limitation. We haven’t used all of it yet and there are some things I hope we won’t have to resort to.

“We also know what we’re up against, which is a lot better than when the opposition first turned up, and it’s getting better by the half minute.”

A volley of railgun fire helped make my point.

“We’ve seen what they can do and we have a sense of their limitations too. I’m guessing daddy demon’s lightning bolt trick either drains him too much or doesn’t work so well over range, otherwise he’d have melted our rail guns already. Same goes for the Fyarl demons.

“The thing is, in that sort of concentration, they can melt almost everything we have before we even touch them, and what we can use against them is too slow to prevent them from carrying out their plan, so we need to up our game.

“Firstly, what are they trying to do and how do they plan to achieve it? Mostly a no brainer. They want to get enough of their army onto our world to form a bridgehead, then to start taking it over.

“To achieve that, they needed to shut down our link from the other side and open their own despite the UV levels. Job done. Big bad’s lightning thingy either shorted our key or forced us to shut it down ahead of lots of nasty damage. Now they have theirs open we can’t block them again without closing theirs first.

“We have a short reprieve before they block the sunlight on our side and can start sending stuff through. More stuff actually, because the hellmaw they sent through already wrecked the dome.

“We need to achieve three things as far as I see. First, we don’t know how bad things are back at the dome, or what’s left of it. We can’t assume, so some of us are going to have to go back through our hole in reality and make sure we have a portal key ready to use, preferably the big one since we’ll be able to fire through it more easily and the lightning thing is less likely to take it out.

“Second, we need to take the portal down this side. Things work differently here. I believe portals open naturally when there’s no UV light on our side, but it’s kind of obvious that can be overridden. We need to figure out how they’re doing that and stop it, which means finding a way of getting in there and hunting about without being seen.

“Lastly, we need to try and distract them. Delay them if we can, certainly stop them noticing what else we’re trying to do. Laurel, have you been listening in?”

“Yeah. I, er, think I might be able to help a bit.”

“That would be great. We need every advantage we can get right now. First, I need you to let a group of the girls through our portal so they can go sort out our portal key, then you can come through and tell us what you have, as long as there’s still someone to look after things on your side.”

“Oz is here, and Stuart and Jen are coming. They left the base before things turned nasty. I should be able to join you in about fifteen minutes, if, if you could send a couple of, you know, bad ass bodyguards to guide me back to you.”

“Done. Okay group allocations. I think half of us should head back to the other side. Remember, your priority is sifting through the rubble for our large portal key and finding a way to get it working again. Maybe take Jen with you since she built it. This is not a cushy option. If we don’t manage to shut this thing down, you will be on the front line facing that lot as they come through. Volunteers?”

Pretty much every hand went up, though some were a little hesitant. I picked out a dozen from the most eager.

“Second is infiltration and investigation. That’s only going to work if we keep numbers small. A lot of risk, because if you’re caught there won’t be much any of us can do to help, but I need two of you.”

Vi and Caridad glanced at each other and nodded.

“Great. Team one and team two head back to our portal. Team one go through and head back to the dome with Jen. You two, wait for Laurel and bring her back.

“The rest of us need to start looking through our inventory and brainstorming how we can make better use of it.”

I looked up as another salvo of rail guns shots flashed across the battlefield. They hit a barrier which flared briefly in different places. None of the shots seemed to make it through.

“Damn. Wesley, concentrate railgun fire so two shots hit the same spot on the shield. Smallest time delay you can manage. First shot to damage the shield, second to take out a target. If that doesn’t work, try grouping three shots.”

“I understand.”

“Why don’t we try softening the shield with a warthog?” one of the girls suggested.

“Good idea. Wesley, scratch previous instructions. Rail guns in groups of one, two and a three. Two and three group to fire as previously indicated. Solo gun to have a warthog fly in and hit the shield ahead of its aim point.”

“Understood.”

“Why...?”

“No guarantees any of it will work. This time round we have half the targets and we see how effective each method is.”

Thirty seconds passed. We watched as the next shots flew out. The double and triple shots took out their targets. The shield weakening shots ricocheting off and the target shot making it through. The solo shot also took out its target, but at the loss of a warthog which fell to a nearby pair of Fyarl demons.

“Wesley, go back to individual targets, but random delay up to two seconds after charged and ready.”

“Understood.”

“A hunch,” I said to the sidelong glances the others were giving me.

Thirty seconds later the shield flared into existence then faded as six shots took out six targets.

“Lots of energy needed to keep up a shield all the time. If they can predict when we’re going to fire, why waste it? Wesley, set delays up to six seconds, get the railguns firing out of synch and roughly evenly spaced, somewhere between four and eight seconds apart. Keep a randomness to the firing.”

The shots turned more erratic and settled to a roughly slow continuous fire. Target demons started falling again. They adapt to us, we adapt to them.

We didn’t have much time to discuss additional tactics before Lauren appeared between her two guides. She had a book in her hands.

“I thought that was full.”

“It was, but I mentioned your idea of scanning it into an isolated computer to Stuart and he liked it enough to suggest it up the chain of command. It was why they weren’t on site when the dome fell. Busy uploading our second captive demon to a virtual playground.”

“Does that means...?”

“It means we can try. I noticed last time I was here, my magic’s stronger this side of the portal. I have a theory that magic only really works on our world when there’s a portal open from here, hence such things as the witching hour, magic done in the dead of night and so on.”

“Sounds great. Maybe you can write a book about it when this is over. In the meantime, you said you had some ideas of how you could help?”

“Er yeah.” She muttered something in ancient something or other and Caridad and Violet vanished. “It should last a couple of hours. Longer if you stay inside each other’s bubble. Can’t do much to suppress the noise though.”

“This is great,” Vi’s disembodied voice said. “We’ll be back soon.”

“Wait, weapons.”

“Laurel brought some things through. We’re good.”

The disappeared. Well, I mean… you know what I mean.

“What else?”

“If you can bring some of the drones down, I can equip them with shields.”

“Like the one they were using against the railguns?”

“Like one that would protect against Fyarl demons. At least for a bit.”

“Brilliant. They’ll need a flat place to land, so let’s get off the hill. Anything else?”

I led them all downhill.

“I can mask us. Not quite as effective as invisibility, but it’ll cover us all. Then muffle our sound. That last one doesn’t move so only when we’re ready to set up the Circle of Kayless.”

“I remember what happened to you last time you cast that. What happens to the rest of your spells when you fall unconscious.”

“Er, I have no idea. I’m hoping not to do so this time round.”

“I’ll hold you to that. What happens if we don’t complete the ritual and bind him?”

“Again, I don’t know. I’d never seen a spell like this before we cast it last time.”

“Yeah, I guess we’re all working in the dark. Come on, let’s fuck some shit up.”

“I love it when you talk dirty,” Laurel gave me a nervous grin. “Let me set up the masking spell first.”

#

It was like walking about under a bubble. Everything outside was shimmery and became more indistinct with distance. I gave Wesley coordinates for a landing point and we reached it as the first of the warthogs came in to land.

Laurel’s shields turned out to be small sachets of ingredients which tucked away neatly inside an access port. A few words in Latin or something else I had no hope of recognising, let alone understanding, and they were ready for the air. I instructed Wesley to hold them off until we were in position, then led us closer to the fray.

We were going to need some distraction to get within the required mile, so I called in an air strike. Shielded warthogs came in and cleared an area of Fyarl demons, followed by unshielded drones with splinter guns. It left us with a few stragglers to deal with, mainly krrst, but since we’d all been equipped with UV flashlights, they’d become a lot easier to pin and kill. One or two manticores as well, but they couldn’t work out what was happening with the masking field and either stood about looking confused long enough for us to dispatch them, or they bounded off in search of something they could understand.

We settled in a clear space three quarters of a mile from the portal and Laurel cast her silence spell. It muffled sound inside the bubble a little, but we could still make ourselves understood if we spoke slowly.

Laurel formed her seven-pointed star and set about chanting with six slayers. That left me with four others to defend a very busy perimeter. The drones continued to attack and continued to take losses, while the rail guns continued to fire and take their toll. It all helped to keep our patch clear.

The sixty foot Moloch demon – for want of a better name – reared up as soon as Laurel started the Circle of Kayless. It was evident he could sense something was happening, but he couldn’t see what.

I ordered smoke grenades to be fired into the middle of the crowd around the portal. It’s what I’d had in mind to protect Caridad and Vi, so hopefully it would help them. Not so much in their observations, but I was hoping they’d spotted something by now and were heading in for a closer look. The smoke wouldn’t last long in any case. I just really hoped long enough.

The enormous demon let out bellow of pain as Laurel’s magic took hold. Fyarl demons all around us let out similar bellows in sympathy and shot their beams of energy in random directions. One or two landed close to us, prompting me to prioritise a few targets for the warthogs.

Flakes of demon floated down to fill the pages of the book. The smoke was clearing so I ordered in more smoke grenades. Not soon enough though. Multiple red, glowing eyes appeared in the sky above us, staring down at the Circle of chanting girls.

“Laurel!” I yelled.

She looked up, her eyes that creepy complete blackness and dark veins stretched across her face.

She slammed the book closed and yelled, “Run!”

We were all on our feet and running, but what are your chances of outrunning a sixty-foot monster?

“Wesley, hit the big guy with everything.”

“Everything sir?”

Built in safety protocol. “Everything that’s not going tear the portal wider.” Then to the rest of the group I yelled, “Scatter!”

We spread in all directions just seconds before a foot twice as long as any of us were tall – well, maybe not Shannon, but she was like freakishly tall for a girl – slammed down where we’d been standing.

Rail guns shots fired off in close succession and the giant foot, along with the leg it was attached to, staggered back. Warthog and splinter drone guns roared at it, the splinter guns aiming at the dozens of eyes in its head. He batted several of them from the sky, but he didn’t seem to be thinking clearly. One of his lightning bolts would have taken care of us all.

Of course he may not have had another lightning bolt in him.

“Run to the hills,” I yelled. Unhelpfully, a bunch of Iron Maiden lyrics ran through my mind. None of them seemed particularly inspiring for the circumstance, so I kept them to myself.

The giant demon turned away from us. Either he thought we were no longer a threat, or he had more important things to do, or maybe he was just happy to delegate our demise to the significant chunk of his army he now had chasing us.

“Over here!” Laurel called. I ran and popped into her masking bubble. “Is that all of us?” Not Shannon. Surely she should have been the first here. She appeared from the direction of the hill.

“We are now,” I said.

More oddly creepy words from my friend’s mouth and the bubble over us solidified into something rock-like.

Things charged around us, past us, over us. Bigger things made our hiding place ring like a bell when their feet land on it, but they didn’t break through, nor did they stop moving past. It took a few minutes but something approaching peace returned.

“What did we achieve?” I asked.

Laurel opened the book to show it more than half filled with demon script

“I doubt he’d have fit in here. I can’t say for sure, but I think he has to be diminished by this. I think.”

She waved a hand and the shell covering us disappeared.

A glance up the hill saw most of the army rushing upwards, past our earlier rallying point, past our portal. A longer look back at the large portal showed the giant demon, still full height if I was any judge, but with enormous strips of flesh missing from his arms, his legs, his body, even his face.

“That’s got to hurt,” I said.

“Yes, but more than that. I think it will have shredded his mind too.”

“So how come he’s still...”

“Oh, it’s still him. Just a lot stoopider and less powerful. I hope.”

The fact that he’d sent so much of his army away attested to that. Most of the Fyarl demons were behind us up the hill. I delegated keeping an eye on them to a couple of my group and turned my attention back to the big portal.

“Now all we need is...”

“Hi guys.” Vi’s voice sounding out of nowhere had several of us jumping out of our skins. Yeah, me included.

Laurel waved a hand and she and Caridad swam back into visibility.

“Awe, that was fun,” Vi said. “I think we found what you’re looking for. Kind of like a lamprey or a leach. There are dozens of them latched onto the portal, which is kinda weird because how do you latch onto a hole in space? Anyway, they don’t go through, just sort of pulse, like they’re sucking something out of it.”

“Sounds like they suck UV like the hellmaws do,” Laurel suggested. “Probably drop off when they’ve taken in as much as they can, you know like leaches after they’ve had their fill of blood. I wish we knew more about them.”

“Your wish is my command,” Caridad said, dropping something like a cross between a fish and a snake at Laurel’s feet. It was about a foot and a half long with a round mouth filled with teeth that seemed to fade into nothing.

“How did...?”

“It fell off while we were watching. Everyone else was looking for you at the time, and there was a ton of smoke about, so I kind of took it.”

“I should get this back to the lab,” Laurel said eagerly.

“Or we could just experiment a bit here.” I shone my UV flashlight on it, causing it to writhe and scream and, after several seconds, to explode.

“Well, that wasn’t very nice,” Laurel complained, her face covered in fish goo.

“Sorry, but we know how to kill them now. Wesley, do we have any UV lasers or spotlights or anything?”

“Unfortunately not. It was felt such devices would be likely to damage the portal.”

“Stuart, I need you to get hold of a crate of UV lasers, preferably mini-tank mountable with precision sights.”

“Er, alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Any news from the dome?”

“They found the key, but it’s damaged. Jen’s trying to fix it. There have been a number of casualties there. In fact almost everyone was either injured or killed when the portal was, was disrupted.”

My heart fell into my stomach. I didn’t dare ask.

“Lieutenant Finn is among the injured. Quite, er, bad I think, but the doctors are confident he’ll recover.”

“Thanks for that. Would it help Jen if I got her a fresh Fyarl horn?”

“I’m sure it would, but...”

“Well, I’m guessing it’ll take a while to sort out the lasers, and we need something to keep us from getting bored.”

“I was going to say it’s the prism that was damaged more than the horn. The army is fabricating another one, but if you could get another horn or maybe two, it would most likely make our portal stronger and less susceptible to enemy overload.”

“Okay. We’ll talk again in half an hour.”

#

Seven minutes to catch up with the mindless mass of monsteranity – there’s that word again – chasing us over the hill. Two minutes to isolate a Fyarl demon that was lagging a little behind the herd. Six minutes to lure it into our trap where a Vi and Caridad had set up power winches embedded into the rocky ground. A minute’s gymnastics to get me up on its back. Another minute to grab a cable from each winch and loop it onto the demon’s horns, then three minutes more with me straining with all my strength and the two winches almost burning out their clutches before the horns both gave way. Six more minutes to grab our prizes and make it back to the portal.

“You’re early,” Stuart said. “The lasers aren’t here yet.”

“So, drop the portal and I can pass you these,” I replied.

The time it took to do that and re-open the portal from his end was long enough for the lasers to arrive. He started passing them through to the rest of slayer squad.

“Jen has the new prism. It’ll take her ten minutes to fix this when she gets the horns, w-which I’ve just sent on their way.”

“How are things at the portal?”

“The smog’s getting thicker. The army have set up quite a few dark light spots which are trained on the portal from close range. They’re keeping anything from coming through for now, but they don’t look they’ll hold out for long.”

“How long?”

“Nobody’s sure. No more than half an hour.”

“We should get a move on then.” The rest of the girls, Vi and Caridad included, had been busily mounting the lasers on the mini tanks Wesley had sent our way. There were twenty of them to match the number of lasers in the crate.

We climbed on a tank each and rode them down to the base of the hill. They rolled a little slower than we could run, but it felt best to conserve our strength, so we stayed on them, looking ahead for threats.

At about a mile distance, a group of greshnicks spotted us approaching – quite a dust cloud from twenty mini tanks – and broke away from the main group

I ordered Wesley to start lasing the lamprey things as soon they were in range, then led eight of my dozen slayers to meet the threat, leaving the remaining four to protect Laurel. She was a friend for one thing, but her magic was a seriously valuable asset. I didn’t need to tell her; she was already looking for ways to use her skills.

The laser shots were next best thing to invisible. As with the dark light spots, they had a visible component close to the upper edge of visibility. The beams showed up in the dust laden air, lasting for several seconds at a time. Several separate shots lanced overhead before the greshnicks closed the gap on us.

One on one was good odds with greshnicks. They weren’t bright enough to prioritise their actions, so focused on us as immediate threats. I had my experience, and the girls had the benefit of it in their training, so we put them down in less than a minute.

By the time we’d finished, the boss had noticed the effect the lasers were having on his lampreys and roared out a command that sent a bunch of manticores and krrst our way.

The manticores were considerably faster than the krrst, and a lot more dangerous. We had antidote dispensers equipped by the time they reached us, plus an odd shimmering covering our skin. No real idea where that came from.

“Once you’ve beaten yours, help whoever’s closest.” They didn’t really need telling, but I couldn’t help sticking my oar in.

The laser shots continued, several seconds each time. The manticores took all our attention for quite a while. I wasn’t the first to defeat mine, and very gratefully received assistance from Bao.

With my manticore down, I caught sight of a shimmer in the air and grabbed for my UV flashlight. Too slow though. A krrst appeared behind the Chinese Slayer. I expected to see its clawed finger sticking out of the girl’s abdomen, but it didn’t. Something had prevented…

Her expression opened in shock as she caught sight of something behind me, as I felt something pressing against my back.

I spun and lashed out with the blade of a heel decapitating the krrst behind before it had a chance to slip back into its alternate dimension.

I shone my flashlight where Bao’s most recent attacker had stood, locking it back into our dimension. She took the hint and spun around, putting her own heel into its heart.

“Krrst,” I yelled as loudly as it’s possible to yell a word without vowels. Bao and I began shining our flashlights about, looking for targets. There was one manticore still standing with four slayers taking it down. The hadn’t spotted the krrst closing in on them, so Bao and I charged in to take them down. Several more attacks from the stealthy buggers failed to land home before something twigged. I looked over at Laurel who offered me a supportive smile and a thumbs up. Some sort of dimensional shield spell. So very useful under these circumstances.

Something changed around the portal. A sort of surge as the waiting monsters began to run through. Like a blockage in an hourglass had been removed, and the sands begun to flow.

“Wesley?”

“About fifty more, sir.” It would have been better if his voice hadn’t been so fucking calm.

The laser shots on average took three to five seconds. Fifty targets meaning a total of two hundred seconds total, divided between twenty lasers meant...

“Tell them to standby, Stuart, the portal’s about to come down.”

It did. With the same abruptness it had started, the flow of viciousness halted. The great ruler roared his frustration. He would have more lampreys, I was certain, but... sparkles.

“We’ve done it everybody,” I yelled. “The next move is his and will most likely involve a lot of electricity.”

Above us, clouds were swirling into existence in a humongous billowing swirl of darkness.

“Time to get out of here?” Laurel asked.

“Oh yeah.”

“I may do my own thing. I mean, I can’t run like you.” She held her hands out to her sides and rose a few feet before streaking off towards the hills.

Which left me playing catch-up. The others were already yards ahead. I followed across the uneven ground. Using the balls of my feet meant that the heels weren’t a problem for now. Short skirt and tights clad legs meant they had as much freedom of movement as they needed. The worst of it was the absence of a sports bra. My upper body assets had settled on a health size which I’d become used to in the dance. Their natural frequency set my rhythm in the fight but here, where I wanted maximum speed, they did their best to unbalance me.

They didn’t manage it, quite. I made it to the rise just as a flare of atomic brilliance cast intense shadows in front of me, followed shortly afterwards by a shockwave that knocked me on my upper body assets.

They might have cushioned the landing had they not been such a sensitive part of my body.

Vi helped me to my feet. “I thought he said electrickery didn’t work here.”

I looked back at the mushroom cloud billowing thousands of feet into the air behind me. “I’m not sure that’s what that was,” I said.

“You don’t think...?”

“No. If he could do that, he’d definitely be able tear a hole in the fabric between worlds.”

“Do you think any of his army survived that?”

“Not this side of the hill, or this side of the portal.” The dust at ground level was clearing, being drawn upwards, to reveal a solitary gigantic figure. I put a finger to my in-ear communicator. “Anybody on the other side want to tell me what’s going on?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” Jen replied. “We just had a rush of about a couple of hundred horrors come through just before you told us the portal was about to drop.

“We managed to get ours up and had a prime view of what he did next. Are you guys alright?”

“We managed to get outside the blast radius in time. A few minor bruises, but that’s all.”

“Well, the new portal key held up to the surge, so we’re okay too.”

“What about your invaders?”

“We have a battalion of soldiers here, Sarah. There have been quite a few new casualties, but mostly on the side of the invaders. Your girls are doing you proud. It feels like it’s over.”

“Not yet.”

Daddy Demon, or whatever was left of him after the partial Kayless ritual, stood roaring into the sky. A steady rumble rose from the other side of the hill. Laurel eased back to the ground in our midst.

“Hold on,” she said and cast that spell that formed a rock-like shell over us.

We felt as much as heard the returning forces. They’d spread out in their fruitless search for us, so it took nearly an hour to pass us. When Laurel dropped our protection, the plain looked just as covered with bad guys as ever.

They were keeping a distance from the portal though, since those closest seemed to be falling down dead.

“Jen?”

“I think I mentioned, we have a lot of army guys here. It seems they can’t resist the opportunity for a little target practice.

“Time to come back, Sarah. He’s done his best to breach the portal on his side and failed. However else it looks right now, we have the upper hand.”

I wasn’t about to argue. I was dog tired. We made our way back through the small portal and fell asleep on the short journey back to the dome.

Chapter 17 – Epilogue

I didn’t recognise the place. I mean they’d had a chance to clean up, sure, but what they’d achieved was close to miraculous.

Someone had carried me to a bed after Stuart had delivered us back to the barracks. Someone had done the same for all of slayer squad and Laurel, and we’d all slept through the next twenty-four hours.

Which meant when we woke it was to a very different world.

Dark clouds covered the sky. The remains of the giant hellmaw which had disintegrated into the stuff, blocking out most of the day’s natural sunlight. Against all laws of meteorology, it refused to shift so we’d probably have to think of a new name for our town.

The dome was back, twice as big as before. Occasional bursts of rapid fire came from within as target practice with the other side continued. The camp itself had grown to more than ten times its former size, with what looked like a whole neighbourhood of houses having been assimilated.

My first stop was the hospital. I was most worried about Finn, obviously, but the original medical unit had been extended to take on a whole lot of additional buildings around it, and when I saw the sheer number of injured soldiers, I couldn’t just walk past them all.

I plastered a brave smile onto my face and paused by each ward. These men had been, at least to some degree, under my command, the danger they’d faced and the injuries they’d sustained a direct consequence of my orders.

Disfiguring burns, missing limbs, all the horrifying aftermath of war, and here was me unscathed in all of it. I couldn’t have kept the tears back if I’d wanted.

There wasn’t anything to say, just a self-imposed torture of reading the names and the recent medical histories, taking on-board details of every life ruined by my inadequacy to respond better to the threat we’d faced.

The wards contained a mixture of bitterness and, incongruously, gratitude. A lot of the harsher expressions softened when they caught sight of me. I don’t know, maybe they weren’t used to laying eyes on a commanding officer who so evidently cared. Maybe it was the aches in my own body causing me to limp slightly.

I was halfway through all the wards and wondering how much further I’d be able continue when a familiar face in a white coat intercepted me.

“Hello doctor,” I said to the man who’d treated me on my visits to his facility. “I didn’t know you made house calls.”

“Exceptional circumstances, Captain Geller. I hope you’ll excuse the liberty, but I checked you and yours out last night – all above board, female nurses present and everything. There wasn’t a great deal to do. I mean injuries sustained – how could there not be – but healing so rapidly. You yourself, cuts and abrasions, a couple of broken bones...”

“Really?”

“Yes. You may remember, I took some blood last time. I couldn’t find anything unusual about it, even though there has to be something. Something I don’t know how to look for. I wondered if you’d be up for an experiment.”

“I was hoping to see Lieutenant Finn.”

“Of course. This won’t take long though, no more than half an hour. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

No real way to say no to that. I owed these guys more than I could ever repay, so thirty minutes seemed less than the least I could do.

What the doctor had in mind involved sticking needles in my arm and connecting me to something like a dialysis machine. I wasn’t so keen, but less than the least and all that.

They wheeled in a horribly disfigured soldier sitting in one of those awkward positions that suggested he’d been paralysed. He also was plugged into the machine, and everything switched on. It wasn’t pleasant so I distracted myself by asking the doctor about Finn.

His face turned a shade graver, but he fought the change with a forced smile. “He’s alive and stable,” he said. “I’m waiting on a few tests before I can say anything definitive about his prognosis.”

So much for distractions. “So, what are you trying to do here?”

“Well, like I said, we don’t know what helps you heal so quickly, but the best chances are that it’s carried in the bloodstream. You share a blood type with Sergeant Miller here, so we figured we’d try him out on what’s so evidently good for you.”

“Sergeant Miller. He was...”

“As I understand it, he was ordered to deliver some missiles to this base back when the first threat appeared. He was then ordered to remain with his men.”

I hadn’t even recognised him.

“Tell me about what happened here.”

“I wasn’t here at the time. You’ll do better to talk to some of the survivors.” A gurgling sound from the chair beside me. “Like Sergeant Miller here.” The sergeant straightened in his wheelchair, lifted his ravaged hands to look at them. “It’s alright sergeant. I know it looks bad right now, but I have a good feeling about how things are going to turn out. Can you try speaking?”

“Water?” he croaked.

“Not just now, if you can hold on for another fifteen minutes.” The doctor turned to me. “As I understand it, Sergeant Miller was operating the, what is it you call it? Portal key?” The sergeant’s horribly scarred head nodded slowly. “The sergeant was doing something to the portal key when a surge of something very much like lightning shot out from it in all directions. That’s when most of the burns were sustained. The sergeant here took the brunt of it due to his proximity and has been unable to move much more than his eyelids since. As you can see, he’s improving quite nicely right now.”

The rawness of his burnt skin seemed to be visibly improving as I watched, and he was moving more freely.

“I never heal that fast,” I said.

“You’ve never had injuries this extensive, so how would you know.”

The half hour was nearly done. The doctor counted down the last few seconds then shut down the machine and expertly removed the tubes.

“He has a pint and a half of your blood in him, Miss Geller. It’s about as much as I think we can afford to take, and I don’t really want to replace it with anything other than saline in case somebody else’s blood interferes with your natural healing process. You’re going to feel a little lightheaded for a while, and if you’re up for it, I’d like to check your haemoglobin levels in a couple of hours. May I suggest you eat a very hearty, protein rich breakfast, and soon.”

Sergeant Miller was making efforts to climb out of his wheelchair. He still didn’t have any hair, but he was recognisably the same man I’d encountered back at the beginning of all this.

“Would it be possible to see Lieutenant Finn now, please?” I asked.

“I’ll have a nurse bring you some breakfast. Eat first, then when you feel strong enough, she can take you. Let Sergeant Miller’s condition prepare you for what you’re going to find though.”

“Original or present?”

“Both. The lieutenant hasn’t had the benefit of this treatment, but he will soon enough. I believe all of slayer squad – that is your term for them, yes? I believe their blood will be just as effective and, while your blood type doesn’t match Finn’s, there are others in your team who do.

“Wouldn’t you prefer to wait until after he’s been treated before seeing him?”

“No. I’d rather see him at his worst before seeing how much better he gets.”

“I understand. You should also know he’s currently being kept in a medically induced coma for his own wellbeing.”

“Thank you doctor. Perhaps I can call on Sergeant Miller later too.”

“Give it a couple of hours. When you drop by for me to check your blood levels, we’ll see.”

Bacon, sausage, black pudding, eggs, mushrooms, beans, tomatoes, even fried bread. The plateful had to be twice the size of anything I’d tackled since changing gender, but I wolfed it down without any sense of discomfort. I could feel my strength flooding back as I did so. If this was a bonus, I could expect from giving blood, maybe I wouldn’t mind the needles so much.

Finn wasn’t as badly burnt as Miller, but he was missing both his legs and his right arm. Not something I expected my rejuvenating powers to mend. He also had a fair chunk gouged out of the right side of his face, including his eye and his ear. The induced coma made more sense now. Tears flooded my eyes once more. I didn’t stay long.

My haemoglobin level was completely back to normal when the doctor checked me. This time he took the blood in the normal blood donor way.

“Experiments, you understand. It’ll be easier to distribute the treatment if you don’t have to be present every time. I think the nurse has a steak for you, then come back and see how Sergeant Miller’s doing.”

No arguments. I was ravenous and steak and chips, complete with peas, more mushrooms and a pile of fried onion, was just what I was craving.

When I came back to find Sergeant Miller standing, holding onto an IV pole with a nearly empty blood bag connected to his arm. Apart from the lack of hair he looked normal.

“The buzz cut suits you, Sergeant,” I said in greeting.

“The doctor thinks that’ll grow back. I owe you a debt of thanks as well as an apology. I kind of blamed you for what happened.”

“So, did I. And as for debts, consider this a repayment of what I owe you.”

“No. I’ve sat in on the full debrief. What you achieved was not much short of a miracle.”

“Miracles take a little longer.”

“Yes, but you did it in time. I hear a few made it through, but as I understand it, we got them all. This could have been so much worse. I had serious doubts about you, Captain, but not anymore.”

“That’s kind of you to say, Sergeant. I guess we’ll see what the future brings.”

Further tests showed that the slayer squad and I could give a pint of blood every hour as long as we ate a sizeable chunk of cow or something similar immediately afterwards. A little experimentation from Laurel showed that our own recovery was coming from the mini-portals, especially when they were kept in the dark, so we set up a mini medical camp near the one that opened out on the hill. For some weeks all we did was eat and bleed, to the extent that we each skipped a period. More bonuses.

Eventually the doctor declared treatment to be as complete as he could make it.

I got to see Finn again, and this time in a very different state. He had legs again and both arms as well as the missing side of his face, albeit made from a dull grey metal.

“Hey,” he said. “I get to be as strong and fast as you now.”

“Wanna bet?”

Maybe not the thing to say in the presence of most of his squad, many similarly equipped with mechanical prostheses. A table was cleared and set up for an arm-wrestling match.

There was no doubt he was stronger, and he had more leverage, but having thrown down the challenge, I wasn’t about to back off. The contest lasted ten minutes with a whole room of soldiers cheering us on. In the end I powered through and put his wrist on the table. He was probably going to have to have a few components replaced.

“Wow,” one private spoke up. “You are so buff.” The surfer accent wasn’t totally put on and the guy was walking about on tin legs, so I hardly felt able to reprimand him. Before long I had a new nickname which I absolutely hated.

“So, Captain Bufster,” Finn teased, “what happens now?”

“Well, from what Jen says,” it had been her who’d designed the prosthetics, “Your new limbs only work near a portal open from our side, so if you’re restricted to this site, I guess I’m going to have to hang about.”

“She and Laurel are experimenting on the other side.” Now possible since the remains of the army has been wiped out and the sixty-foot behemoth subdued. “She’s hopeful she’ll be able to grow living tissue and graft it on. It’ll be UV sensitive, so we’ll be more use on the other side. Can you imagine, a whole new world to explore?”

“Most likely filled with more, bigger and nastier things.”

“Hey, join the army, visit far off lands, shoot shit when you get there. It’s all in the job description.”

“Sounds like you’ll need someone to keep you in line.”

“Sounds like you’re offering.”

“Maybe. I’m still not so keen on all the killing stuff.”

“You never know. If we search far enough, maybe we’ll find someone who’s prepared to talk.”

Maybe. We’d need someone around to make sure we didn’t start putting up flags everywhere. After all colonialism was in our blood.

I promised to drop by later. I’d been invited – along with my friends, including slayer squad – to meet the higher ups in the army. General Teal met me at the door and led me into a room filled with aging soldiers whose bulging middles suggested their last press-up had been so far in the past it had likely not existed at all. In most cases it was hard to see the uniform for the mess of medal ribbons covering their chests, just as it was hard to see the faces for all the hair covering mouths and chins – or possibly lack of. Certainly, this was another class of soldier with a totally different interpretation on the term regulation.

“And you must be Miss Jennifer Merris,” one of them said to Jen. There was something in his manner that put me in mind of one of our worst prime ministers in recent history. No, not her, him.

“It’s Jen,” she said. “My name is Jen, nothing more. My surname is Ephemeris.”

“Jennifer Merris, Jen Ephemeris. My deepest apologies. An honest mistake. And I understand you refer to yourself as a, er, a technomage?”

“That’s one of the terms. Cyber-witch is another. We try to combine modern technology with what is generally referred to as magic. The unexplainable coming from the other side.”

“Yes, yes. This other side. What exactly is it?”

I didn’t get to hear Jen’s reply because I was led away to be presented to a different face full of whiskers hovering over a different array of pretty coloured ribbons spread across a very similar barrel chest.

The afternoon was an exercise in tedium, but one that had been described to me as essential owing to these gentlefolk – actually, gentlemen. Let’s face it, there wasn’t a skirt among them – controlling the purse strings. I curbed any temptation to ask which of the ribbons was for helping old ladies across the road and swallowed all the immediate remarks that leapt up my throat at being described as so young, “And a filly, too.” I wondered about explaining how I’d been born male, but the Palaeolithic thought processes I was encountering here would have possibly been less able to deal with my gender change than the alien concept of a girl in a position of authority

We were begrudgingly approved of, except for Stuart who was welcomed as a kindred soul, and suffered it all until it came time for the demonstrations.

We’d thought long and hard about this. I started off with team slayer lining up and giving an exemplary display of Irish dance, then just when the generals were beginning to look their most bemused, we set the entire visiting battalion loose. They’d been primed with the promise of a free drink for every blow they landed on us, which was enough to get past their reticence to fight girls.

We were outnumbered twenty to one, but they weren’t vampires, so they fell like skittles – strikes all round. Five minutes and every man was lying on his back and groaning, and we didn’t owe a single drink.

I walked up to the arsehole who’d made the filly comment and raised an eyebrow.

“I’d like to present Slayer Squad, general.” I went through the names one by one, delighting in the cute little curtsey each one gave. So much better than a salute. I added my own at the end of the line. “I believe we can make a fairly strong argument for women in the army, sir.”

“And perhaps I can show you why we need them,” General Teal took over before the unhealthy shade in the visiting general’s pallor led to an unhealthy outcome in his capacity to breathe. He beckoned for the visitors to follow him up to the dome.

We didn’t see many unfriendlies near to the portal these days, apparently, but those that had survived the culling remained nearby, so a drone flight was enough to show the sorts of threat there was.

“I’m given to understand you dispatched a quarter of a million of these things,” General HuffnBluster said.

“Captain Geller did, sir.” He waved at me indicating I should continue.

“We laid a minefield across the plain. A hell of a lot of ordinance, but it was effective. Not these things though. Vampires. A lot smaller generally. Fast and strong but susceptible to wooden shards through the heart. We used modified bounding mines. Didn’t touch any of the bigger things, but there was enough shrapnel to take out almost all the vampires present.”

“Impressive.”

“More stupidity and arrogance on the other guy’s part. The rest of his forces proved more of a challenge.”

“Yes, I’ve read the report. And now you want to...”

“Explore the planet on the other side of the rift. Many of our survivors from the battle have prostheses that will only work near this portal or on the other side.”

“Yes. The Tin Man Squad.”

“Company, sir, and they’re a little sensitive about that name.”

“Like you and Captain Bufster, I believe.”

“Exactly like that, sir, except they’re less inclined to stand there and take it.”

“Gentler female character, eh?”

“Not how I’d put it, sir, but I won’t argue the point.”

“And now you’re asking for how much?”

“General Teal worked out the budget, sir. I’m just standing by ready to do my part if you approve it.”

“And you have to admit, Brigadier General, that two billion is cheap for the exploration of another planet, especially one that presents a potential threat not only to our country but to our world as a whole.”

“Two billion.”

“Each mission to Mars is estimated to cost between one hundred and five hundred billion.”

“Dollars, man. Dollars.”

“Still seventy-six billion pounds at the cheapest by current exchange rates.”

Could he really be that stupid?

“Yes, well, can’t we invite other countries to invest?”

“If we offer them a cut in the profits.”

“Profits?”

“New technologies, new manufacturing processes based on a completely new set of physical laws, new discoveries, new materials, new insights into the nature of the universe. This could well put us back as the world leader in technology.”

“Or it could bankrupt us if we end up facing a war we cannot win.”

“I’d prefer my role to be more diplomatic than combative,” I said. “It depends what we meet out there as to whether we’ll even have to fight. If it comes to that, we’ll invite a few allies to shoulder the burden.”

“I’d want you and your team to be fully enlisted before I agree. I can’t go authorising those sums of money to civilians.”

“I agree sir, and with Buffy – sorry, Sarah – here carrying the rank of lieutenant colonel...”

“What? Preposterous!”

“I’d have gone higher, but she needs to be a field officer. Jen and Stuart to enlist as majors.”

“Laurel too.”

“No, Laurel remains as a civilian with acting rank of captain. It’s what she prefers.”

“You’re asking a hell of a lot, general.”

“I’ve not finished. Each member of Slayer squad elevated to captain with new slayer recruits under their command.”

“Slayers to be deployed against non-human threats only,” I said, “that’s non-negotiable.”

General Teal hadn’t anticipated that but supported it.

“I’ll want regular monthly reports on what you’re finding.”

“Alright. I’ll want six monthly budget reviews with a view to increasing your investment each time.”

“Damn, woman, will you let me at least look like I’ve won something.”

“You have. This is potentially the best deal you’re likely to see in a lifetime, and I won’t offer it to you for less than it’s worth.

“Bear in mind you get me with my negotiating skills as part of the deal.”

“By crikey you’re annoying. Alright, you have your deal. In principle. I’ll want to see it all written out before I sign anything. On my desk by the end of the day.”

#

That was easy enough. Just needed to add the clause about slayers not being deployed against humans. Ever.

The dome became our permanent base. I took one of the nearer houses as both quarters and office, and I took Nick as my Aide de Camp when he finally made it back from both basic and officer training.

Finn became a major in charge of Tin Man Company, a name that stuck even after they had freshly grown flesh limbs grafted on in place of their mechanicals. Equally strong, capable of regeneration and returning the ability to feel to them. Many of them elected to have healthy limbs removed and replaced so they were balanced. Finn kept his original left arm there’d always be the option to replace it later if he was careless enough to lose it. There wasn’t much could be done to replace the terminator look on the side of his face, but I kind of liked the overall effect. Besides, it was still Finn inside, and that’s what counted.

About the same time the Tin Men turned flesh again, I moved across to the new world. Jen had figured out how to split the portal to give us permanent two-way traffic, and our defences on the other side were pretty robust. Thanks to Jen, Stuart and Laurel – especially Laurel – our options on the other side were expanding and I was sending home the kind of reports that should hopefully double our budget sometime soon.

We had drones mapping in all directions. Promising outcroppings of rock suggested the possibility of the new ores we’d been hoping for. New laws of physics raised the possibility of new elements or at the very least, new mechanisms for combining the ones we had. Various taints in the atmosphere hinted at technology and the possibility of civilisation somewhere nearby. Whether that meant more warfare or the potential for alliances remained to be seen.

After all, we hadn’t yet explained the Chernobyl Worm or the Krakatoan Dragon. It was possible that some technology had been involved and whether or not the intent had been aggressive remained to be seen.

We had enough slayer wannabes now to give each member of the original slayer squad a squad of her own. That gave me my full unit to command which would make a bloody impressive dance troop to demonstrate our peaceful intent if it came to that, then an equally impressive battlefront if they decided not to accept it.

I finished scribbling on the report in front of me and dropped it in the out tray. The rest I neatened up and put back in the in. I was overdue some leave, and Mum and Dad had insisting I come home and celebrate my eighteenth birthday, since I’d missed the actual date in the middle of all the fighting. It didn’t matter much to me. I’d passed the watershed big time. Fighting in a battle for the future of your world does more to help you grow up than candles on a cake, and I really didn’t need the party.

I headed for the portal structure and stepped into the homeward bound section, saluting the duty guard as I went. If I knew Dad, we’d have a large contingent from church. I couldn’t really talk much about my job, but dress uniform complete with the gongs I’d earned – they were significant, including several eminently recognisable ribbons for valour and actions above and beyond the call of duty. Anyone who knew anything about medals would want know how I’d come by them and I’d probably have to tell them, “I could say, but then I’d have to kill you.”

Actually, I was looking forward to doing that with some of them. Sanctimonious arseholes that they were.

If it achieved nothing else, the event would hopefully put Mum and Dad back in the clear with their friends. They’d probably still fail to understand anything about my transition – let’s face it, I was still a little confused over it – but they couldn’t deny that I’d done good, and despite starting out as a man (on the outside at least), I’d done good as a girl in what was still, under the surface, a man’s army.

Finn would be coming – Jen had developed a compound that blocked out enough UV that he could come back to our world without risking his new appendages. His cybernetic eye and ear would probably help divert some of the questions from me, which reprieve I expected to need. He was planning on making his own way there. I had the pleasure of driving myself home in my little pink Mini.

Laurel and Oz had also said they’d come, so had Nick along with his new boyfriend. Whether he convinced the poor guy to put on a female uniform remained to be seen. Either way, he’d draw most of the holy haters. Like flies gravitating towards the greatest stink, the gay soldier with a potentially cross-dressing partner would definitely attract a sizeable buzz.

There’s a sense of relaxation that comes from going home. A feeling that all those responsibilities of life slip from your shoulders if only for a short while. I pulled my suitcase from the back of the car and let myself in.

“I’m home,” I called.

Dad stuck his head out of his office, and we exchanged pecks in the cheek. He’d pretty much completely accepted me as his daughter now, which was just as well because I wasn’t going back to the way things were.

Mum stuck her head out of the kitchen. I gave her a quick hug and a kiss too.

“Cup of tea?”

“I’d love one.” Nothing quite like Mum’s tea. “I’m just heading upstairs to change.”

“Oh, er darling?”

I wasn’t listening. I was looking forward to the rest and even the party. Maybe by the time I got back to work, I’d have an alien civilisation to investigate. I opened my door to find a thin girl with long dark hair laying on my bed.

“Er, who are you?” I asked.

Mum appeared behind me. “Your father and I have been talking. Since you’re away from home so much these days, we thought it made more sense for your sister to have your room. We’ve put you in the guest room down the end of the hall.”

Wait, what? Sister?

“Mum!”

Footnote
This ending won’t make a lot of sense to those of you who don’t know much about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In the original series, Buffy is an only child (much like Mitchel) then series five starts with an encounter with the real Dracula and the development of a whole bunch of ongoing plot you wouldn’t be able to follow without watching the previous series. It then ends with Buffy at home walking in on a slender girl with dark hair who she doesn’t recognise. Buffy’s mum then suggests, since she’s going out, why doesn’t she take her sister, at which point both girls turn and say, “Mum!” in the most teenage objectionable way possible.

Most of series five then focuses on a fallen goddess, referred to by her followers as Glorificus, and over time we’re shown that Buffy’s new sister, Dawn, is in fact an artefact called the key, being sought by Glorificus and transformed into human form and inserted into Buffy’s life for her (its) protection, with everyone except Buffy having their memories altered to accept Dawn as having always been there.

It just felt like a fun way to end things... maybe just for now?