University was a financial struggle, my parents money was all tied up in Dad’s business, we were not well off cash-wise, there had been no legacies from my grandparents to subsidise my continuing education. Rather than enjoying the rich social life of the college, I had to work my way through a series of low paid bar and restaurant work to keep my head above water. That is until, on the way back after my early morning fitness run, I saw a sign posted on the door of a local nightclub. ’Bar staff wanted, immediate start, well above average wages plus tips.’

When I say ‘nightclub’, I’m being very generous with the description, I had heard that ‘The Hotspot’ was more of a backstreet cabaret club at the cheaper end of the market, but with the promise of better money than my current job paid I had nothing to lose. I rushed back to my room at the halls of residence, had a quick wash, brushed my hair, and changed from my jeans and t-shirt, into a decent shirt, slacks and gave my only decent pair of dress shoes a polish before making my way back.

The door was locked, but after a few sharp thumps it eventually opened and I was faced with a bedraggled unshaven middle-aged man who had obviously just rolled out of bed.

“What do you want at this unearthly hour?”

“It’s about the bar work, are you still looking for people?”

“We are, you had better come in, take a seat at the bar while I make some coffee and smarten myself up, it was a long busy night yesterday and I need to clear my head.

“Ok tell me a bit about yourself and where you have worked before. I’m Duncan Grant, the owner and manager of what you can see is not exactly the plushiest club in town.”

“I’m Cory Farewell, I’m a student in my final year at university studying drama and performance, part-time working to keep a roof over my head and food on the table. For the last two years I have worked at various pub and restaurant venues around town, some quite classy with high reputations, mostly undeserved, and some which were not much more than transport cafes, where the food and atmosphere were actually much more pleasant, I’ve even spent some time down at the Comedy Club. I’m good behind the bar and have a fair knowledge of mixing cocktails. I have to admit that I have never been here as a customer, but looking around the place it seems a lot better than it’s reputation.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. I like your manner, you obviously get on with people, you seem to know what you are doing, when can you start?”

“Where I am now I’m on a zero-hours contract and can pick and choose my hours, as can the management, I’ve not been called in tonight so why not give it a start right away. “I’ve got classes today, but I can be back by six if that suits you.

“Sounds good, that’ll give me time to give you a briefing before the others start to arrive. Welcome to The Hotspot Cory.”

When I retuned later It did not take long for me to become familiar as to where things were and how the computerised till keys functioned, and along with Sandy who would be working the bar with me, we soon had the place ready for when the punters started to roll in. “One last thing before we start.” Said Sandy. “Because we serve food from the bar, you need to tie your hair back in a ponytail, you can’t leave it hanging over your face like that, have you got any bands or anything like that?’

“What? No, I’ve never needed one in the other places I’ve worked”

“Here have one of mine, sorry it’s pink with beads on and is a bit girly, but it will do the job, you can keep it if you want it’ll save you going out to buy your own”

The first two nights the acts were a tribute band, Antarctica who played mainly Arctic Monkeys tunes and a comedy duo, Sam and Terry, who I had previously seen at the Comedy Club. Usually the nights started off slowly, but nearer the time the acts were due to perform, there was always a bar rush so people could settle down for the entertainment, and a rush afterwards to refill their glasses.

I had heard about the third night’s act, an in-house dance troupe of girls, The Hotspot Hotties, who did several session of showgirl, contemporary, can-can, and freestyle, linked together by a drag queen, Mimi la Reine, who filled in while the girls did costume changes, and I was looking forward to meeting the girls.

When they arrived, they came directly over to the bar to order dinks and to meet the ’hot new young barman’ that they had been told about, probably by Sandy. Melanie, Sue, Tara and Zara all seemed pleasant and friendly and I was hoping that I could get to know them, any one of them, they were all quite attractive.

We were soon interrupted by the most flamboyant and camp man I had ever come across, walking, or rather mincing, over to us. “Hi sweetie, you look a bit of alright, I do like what you have done with your hair” he looked at the band holding my ponytail and right into my eyes, “We must get together later for a chat, but I have a lot of work to do to get ready for my audience, you don’t know what us girls have to go through. I’m Mimi la Reine, that means ‘the queen’ don’t you know, but my friends just call me Mimi.”

My embarrassment was obvious to the girls who burst into giggles. Tara gave me a big wink, blew me a kiss and whispered to me, before the girls left to get ready for their show. “Don’t take any notice of that old queen, he’s good at his act and the audiences like him, but he is a bit much sometimes. We’ll make sure that he doesn’t come on too strongly to you.”

We had a busy time at the bar, with everyone getting their drinks in and settling down before the show started. Suddenly the PA system started blasting out the music and Mimi pranced out onto the stage. If I had thought that Mimi was flamboyant when dressed as a man, it was nothing to compare with how he now appeared. From the top of his head covered in a lilac shoulder length wig, his face made up with half the contents of a store cosmetic counter, past the figure hugging, skin tight lurexdress, slit from the hem to the hip cut to reveal a deep cleavage between his huge breasts, to the 6’ pencil heeled stilettos, he was a cartoon caricature of a woman. I couldn’t make up my mind whether I was mesmerised or repulsed by his appearance.

I was even more astounded when he started his routine of bawdy innuendo and risqué monologues as a warm-up act for The Hotties, in a very feminine lilt, but still at a lisping male pitch. The audience, particularly the women, seemed to love what he was doing, although several of the red-necks propping up the bar were not as enthusiastic and some of the language being used by them was not fit to repeat.

Mimi soon handed over to The Hotties, whose first routine was showgirl style, dressed in tight sequinned outfits that were not much more than bathing suits with a few decorative accessories,. They soon had the place rocking and the blood pressure rising in many of the men in the audience, including the red-necks at the bar counter, who now seemed much happier. They had short breaks between their following routines of contemporary sexy dancing and finishing with a flourish of can-can, Mimi doing the fill-ins while the girls went off stage to get their breath back and change costumes.

At the end of the night, Sandy and I tidied up the room, Duncan did the till count and split the tips left at the bar, the girls and Mimi packed up their costumes before we all sat down for drink and a bit of socialising. Mimi didn’t stay long and flounced off in a huff once he realised that the girls weren’t letting him anywhere near me and that I was more interested in them than in him.

“Mimi seems a bit too much, how did he get to work with you girls anyway?”

“It’ was the other way round actually. Mimi was running a successful drag club and wanted to have a dance troupe to fill in between his acts and the other performers. He wanted the dancers to be boys impersonating girls but couldn’t find enough convincing cross-dressers that could also dance, so settled for a female troupe. Unfortunately , as you can see, he can be a bit temperamental and was not a sensible businessman, the club closed but he asked us to continue to support him as he appeared at other venues, and here we all are.”

That became the routine for me, lectures at the university during weekdays, down at the Hotspot three week nights and weekends and a couple of nights at home studying. It was not exactly a full social life but at least I was earning reasonable money, most of which was going on living expenses, but I was able to put a bit away each week to build up my bank balance.

Over the next month I got quite friendly with the girls in the Hotties and with Sandy behind the bar sometimes going out for a drink with them socialising when we all had a night off. One night when I left the club with the girls, Tara was going my way and we were walking near her apartment when a taxi drove close up to the kerb next to me, drenching me by driving through a large puddle in the gutter, not even stopping to apologise,

“Look at the state of you Cory, you can’t walk the rest of the way back to your room like that, come on in with me, get dried off, and I’ll dig out something dry for you to wear to walk home in.” Tara almost dragged me in through the door into her apartment.

After I dried off and brushed out my damp hair in the bathroom I found that she had left some clothes for me outside the door, quickly grabbed them and went back in to get dressed, Nothing was too girly that would be embarrassing to wear, just a light camisole top, a wooly jumper to go over it, fresh plain cotton panties, slim -it tight trousers and sandals with a slightly raised heel.

“I hope that stuff all fits you and feels comfortable Cory, it’s all fairly gender neutral so don’t feel embarrassed about wearing my clothes, Your stuff will take ages to dry, do you want to wait while the dryer does it’s work or do you need to get off?’

“To tell you the truth Tara, I’ve got lectures first thing in the morning and it’s getting pretty late now, I don’t want to seem rude and ungrateful but I had better be getting back. If it’s ok with you, I’ll bring your clothes back tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about that, I understand. Hold on and I’ll get you a coat, it’s too cool to be walking home without one.” She returned a few minutes later with a fitted belted jacket which was a snug fit on me, and handed me a leather shoulder bag, “ I thought that you would probably need that too for your keys wallet money and bits and pieces, the pockets in the trousers and jacket are not really designed to be stuffed with things like yours are.”

“Safe home then Cory, and, if it’s not taken as an insult, with those clothes you are looking a bit girly, so be a bit more careful than you normally would be, girls walking the streets alone at this time of night are a lot more at risk than you boys.”

I hadn’t really thought about it before but following her advice I was much more wary than normal, keeping to well-lit areas and making sure that I was always in calling distance of other people making their way home. I made it back to my room in the hall without any problems, but as I was opening my room door my neighbour happened to leave his room, see me, giving me a strange look as he cast his eyes over me from head to toe.

After lectures the next day, I was leaving the hall to go to The Hotspot, carrying a shopping bag containing Tara’s things, when I was approached by one of the girls that I vaguely recognised from some of my classes. “ Hi, it’s Cory isn’t it, we’ve not really met and talked, My name is Maggie, and I was wondering if you would like to come along with me to the LGBT meeting tonight.”

“Why on earth would I want to do that, I’m totally straight.”

“There’s no need to be shy and embarrassed Cory, there are a few other cross-dressers come along and you would be more than welcome. Rumour has it that you were seen last night wearing girl’s clothes, with your hair brushed out quite full and looking cute.”

“Thanks for the invite Maggie, but it’s honestly not my scene, there has been a misunderstanding. However if you fancy going for a drink and a chat sometime, I would like that,”

Maggie smiled and giggled “Thanks Cory but I’m not really into boys, but if you ask again when you are dressed up it could be different.”

I was deep in thought as I walked to the club, It was only trousers and a jacket that I had been wearing, albeit Tara’s, and fair enough carrying a shoulder bag, but it wasn’t as if I was wearing a dress and heels with my face made up, the thought of looking remotely like Mimi caused me to shiver.

That night, business was a bit slack so Duncan decided to close early. “Hi Cory we’re all going down to the pizza bar for a snack and a drink to unwind after the show, do you want to join us?” Tara asked as I gave her the bag with her things in it,

“Why not, it’s still early. It’ll give me a chance to get to know you all a bit better. “

We were met by a smiling waiter as we went in “Well hello girls, we haven’t seen you all for a while and you have brought a new friend with you, she will be more than welcome anytime.” causing a load of giggles from the girls.

As the girls sat down Tara grabbed my hand , pulling me away from the table, and I suddenly found myself in the Ladies restroom with her. “You heard the man Cory, he thinks you are a girl, and I must admit that the way you looked last night it’s an easy mistake to make. Get in the cubicle and change into the stuff you wore before, don’t bother with the jacket and jumper, just the Camisole, trousers and sandals, you’ll fit in better with the rest of us, it should be fun. When I was in getting changed something flew over the cubicle door and when I picked it up I saw that it was a bra. “You need that under your cami, I assume you know how to put it on, and stuff it with a load of toilet tissue, we can’t have you totally flat chested, I can manage without it and to be honest often go without. When I came out of the cubicle Tara had a load of stuff on the washstand, “I’ll not go mad but you need a little bit of warpaint to complete the picture.” When she was satisfied with my look, and brushed out my hair, she gave my tissue breasts a squeeze to give a more realistic shape, picked up all her belongings and we went back out to join the others.

“Right girls, Carrie has decided to join us tonight, I see you have got the drinks in already, let me tell you where Carrie has come from.”

After Tara had finished explaining about me needing to get into dry clothes after getting drenched by an inconsiderate taxi driver, I told them about being seen as I was going into my room, and the rumours that had spread about me being a crossdresser.

“Well, you had better make sure that nobody sees you tonight as they will just fan the rumours and may even start another one saying that you are actually a girl as you are really looking the part tonight with your new boobs and a bit of slap on your face.“

I was totally embarrassed at first but soon got over it and settled down enjoying my time chatting with the girls, who were soon calling me Carrie and talking to me as if I was another one of them.

When we left the girls made sure that I stayed dressed as I was and wouldn’t let me change my clothes or clean off the makeup, they were enjoying teasing me.

“Are you coming in Carrie?’ Tara asked as we got to her house. “You can’t go back to your room looking like that, you’ll probably be seen again. You will probably get away with being seen dressed in my clothes once, but a second time will leave no doubt in their minds. Stay the night in the spare bed.”

“Sounds like a good idea, thanks.”

“There you are Cory, I’ve put out some pyjamas for you, a bit girly but at least they’ll keep you decent, there’s cream and cotton pads in the bathroom to clean off your makeup, get yourself ready for bed.

The next morning I got out of bed and although I was wearing only a light shortie pyjama sleep set, I didn’t bother getting dressed as I needed a coffee urgently to clear my head after the night out with the girls, I wasn’t used to drinking the wine they kept putting in front of me.

“Good morning sleepyhead, were you comfortable in there.” Tara was too bright and breezy for me so I just grunted a quick “Yes thanks.”

“There’s coffee and toast for you, I assume that you are not into muesli and yoghurts like us girls. It’s almost 9 o’clock, if you are going to your classes you need to get yourself together and get on your way.”

Throughout the day I was still getting strange looks in classes, the rumour mill was obviously still at work, and I got a nice smile and a finger-wave from Maggie when I saw her at the back of one of my classes, and a come-on-over wave inviting me to sit next to her.

“Hi Cory, I hear you didn’t get back last night, did you have a good time. They were all talking about you at the LGBT group, wondering when you are going to come out.”

“There’s nowhere to come out from Maggie, as I told you, I am totally straight.”

“Ok, whatever, but if ever you want to talk please give me a call.”

To be continued.

Thursday afternoon I had a text from Tara “Please call me urgently Cory, we need your help.”

Rather than call her I went round to her house after classes.

“What’s so urgent Tara?”

“We, that is the Hotties, are in a bit of a pickle. Mimi’s boyfriend has left him and he’s playing the real drama queen about it, sobbing his heart out, and will not be working with us this weekend.

”Sorry to hear that, have you told Duncan that you are having to cancel the show?”

“Not yet, that is why I need to speak to you, will you stand in for him?”

“I can manage a few links and fill-ins for you. I have performed on stage a few times as part of my course and have played a few routines on open-mic nights when I worked the bar at the Comedy Club. Sure I’ll help you out.”

“It’s short notice but just do Mimi’s act, we know it by heart after hearing it so many times and can give you it almost word for word. The problem is that a lot of the lines that Mimi does are there to be made by a man in drag.”

“Hang on a minute, I hope that you are not suggesting that I dress up like Mimi, I don’t think that is in my character, he is a one-off.”

“Not really, there are a few like him around, but we’ve not seen any that we would like to work with. When you were out with us the other night you fitted in so well with us as Carrie, the waiter was convinced that you were just another one of us girls, Well, what we thought, or really what I thought to be honest with you, is that rather than dress you as an over-the-top drag queen, that you just perform as another one of the girls in the troupe. Obviously with your voice it will most likely be apparent that you are not a woman, but there is no reason for you to look anything like Mimi.”

“What about a costume, Mimi is a lot bigger than me, so none of his costumes will work for me.”

“Not a problem, you are almost the same size as us girls, but obviously all the exercise we get doing our routines keeps us fit and slim, but we should be able to squeeze you into one of our can-can girls’ dresses.

“If, and I stress if, I agree to do this for you, will I be recognisable, it’s uncomfortable enough at university as it is with all the gossip and the invitations to LGBT meetings without giving them more ammunition to feed into the gossip chain.”

“Trust me Cory, or rather Carrie, which will suit you better,, by the time I am finished with you even your own mother wouldn’t recognise you.”

Thursday was always a quiet night at the club, there was no cabaret, just a DJ trying to keep a bit of atmosphere in the place, so both Tara and I had the night free for her to transform me into Carrie, a convincing version of a normal young woman.

On Friday night Tara and I arrived early to have a word with Duncan to let him know what we were doing. As we went in I was quivering with nerves about how I looked and how I would be received., but Tara just told me “lift your head up, shoulders back to show off your boobs, walk proud, you are a natural at this.” Duncan didn’t recognise me at all, but it was not surprising as Tara had streaked and styled my hair into soft waves, given me a full makeover, fitted me with breast forms and dressed me in a loose floral skirt and Broderie Anglais cotton top.

“Hi Duncan, Cory won’t be in tonight, but he’s here as Carrie, who will be helping out behind the bar with Sandy and will also be doing the intros and links for the Hotties instead of Mimi who is having a hissy fit and being a real pain-in-the-backside drama queen, man trouble if you know what I mean.”

“What on earth, is that you Cory, I’m amazed at how you look and that you let the girls talk you into this? However, it’s too late now to arrange anything else so I suppose that I will have to go along with this, we’ll talk about this later, meanwhile Cory, or Carrie, whatever, put your stuff in the back room and start to get the bar ready.”
When Sandy arrived she was surprised to see someone new behind the bar and came over to introduce herself.“I’m Sandy, what’s up with Cory tonight I thought he was on the rota? I see that Duncan has already got you started, so I’ll quickly tell you how we split the duties and get ready for the punters, it didn’t take Duncan long to dig out a replacement.”

“No need for that Sandy, it’s Cory, I’m helping out the Hotties tonight which is why I’m looking like this, and I suppose that you had better start calling me Carrie, like Tara is now doing.”

Sandy’s eyes almost popped out of her head as she looked me up and down, with her mouth wide open. “OMG. I never clocked you at all, I’m sure that the punters won’t either, particularly after a few drinks. You had better watch yourself tonight, later on after a few drinks I often get hit on, you will get the same treatment, all these men think that they are God’s gift to women and that us girls fall for all their corny lines, but we aren’t that stupid, you need to learn how to deal with that. Welcome to the sisterhood Carrie I’ll watch your back and you watch mine, us girls need to stick together.”she giggled as she delivered that last line.

Everything went smoothly and soon it was time for me to go and get changed into my show costume. As we had decided that I would play the part as near to a natural girl as possible, it was just a case of changing into the can-can dress, swap the comfortable flats for 4’" heels, touch up my makeup and I was ready to go meet my audience.

As I went out onto the stage, swirling the flounces on my dress in a very theatrical manner, I deliberately stumbled then steadied myself and grabbed the mic.

“They said to go out there and break a leg, I thought that it was just a showbiz saying, I didn’t think that I would start by twisting my ankle falling off these damned heels. Do you all have the same problem girls, the things we have to suffer to keep our men happy, eh. If they had to wear them all day, they would soon change the rules.” My opening line got a great reception, particularly from the women in the audience and it gave me confidence to carry on in the same vein.

“I’m Darcy la Doudou, Mimi the usual compere that our wonderful girls use couldn’t make it tonight and I have been asked to stand in using her act. It’s a shame that I can only work with them as a compère I would’ve loved to have been a dancer myself, but I haven’t got the legs for it, come to think about it there are a few other bits that I haven’t got either. Without these 100 denier tights the veins on my legs look like the rail tracks into Euston Station, and they go all the way up to the platform, if you know what I mean. As far as the dancing is concerned I am less like the sugar plum fairy, more like a currant plum pudding, but then it is a lot more pleasurable when they try to eat me.” There were more squeals of laughter and ribald comments thrown back at me from a woman on the front row table.

I continued after they had calmed down again, adjusted my bra shoulder strap and hitched up my boobs, “You know what girls, I don’t know what I would do without a bit of help for my figure, I wish I had shares in companies making silicone padding or spandex control wear., I’m sure that half of you all out there are getting a bit of help too, including some of the women ! Anyway, that’s enough about me, you haven’t come here to listen to me prattling on, I will leave you in the capable hands, or rather the lovely legs, of the ‘Hotspot Hotties’, cue music maestro.”

I left the stage to a big round of applause, cheers and catcalls happy that I had seemed to go down well.

“That was brilliant Carrie, a lot better than I was expecting, now and help Sandy at the bar while the girls are going through their routine.” Duncan patted me on my backside as I passed him hunched over the sound system. I glared back at him challenging him to dare to do that again at his peril, wondering if he treated all the other girls like that.

‘Hey girl that was so much fun, it was hard to tell whether you are a girl or a drag artist, I’m sure that there are a lot of discussions going on out there. Anyway we have a queue forming, get back to your day job pulling pints and mixing cocktails.” Sandy was getting rushed off her feet and was glad to see me back.

When the girls had finished their routines I was back onstage for a few minutes to encourage the punters all to fill up their glasses and order food. “Thanks for listening everyone, if you like my performance tonight, tell the manager to give me a bonus, if you didn’t like it blame Mimi, it’s her material.”

I was glad to slip off the heels and slide into my flats for the session behind the bar. “Sandy, I’m sure that I don’t have to tell you how glad I am to get out out of those heels, I honestly don’t know how you girls manage to go through a whole day wearing them.”

“You’ll need to get used to them Carrie, somehow I think that you will be around for a long time. This is a half hour break before the next show, you don’t want to get drinks spilled on your costume dress, go and change into your skirt and top, I’ll be ok to hold the fort for a few minutes.”

For the rest of the interval I was working as Carrie, Darcy had been left in the dressing room along with the costume. Working behind the bar with Sandy I soon fell into her manner of interacting with the customers and slipping into the way she flirted and chatted with them without letting it go too far.

At the end of the girls’ last spot of the night I joined them on stage wearing my can-can dress matching theirs and took the bows and curtseys with them before turning on the mic.

“ Before I go I must tell you about a conversation I had with my Mum when I was about thirteen, ‘Mum all the girls in my class are now wearing bras, you can see the straps through their light blouses, but it’s obvious that i am not wearing one, can you get me one?’ She just looked at me and rolled her eyes. ‘I’ve told you before that boy’s don’t need bras Robert, and I wish that you would stop wearing your sister’s blouses to school.” which set off roars of laughter and giggles.

“Thanks everyone we hope you enjoyed our show tonight. If you liked it tell your friends about the Hotties helped by me, Darcy, down at the Hotspot, if you didn’t enjoy it tell them that you were watching the football in the other bar, thank you again and goodnight and I will see see you at the bar in a few minutes.”

Back in the dressing room the girls gave me a big group hug. “You were amazing tonight Carrie, let’s hope that Mimi doesn’t recover from his broken heart, we’d like you to continue as part of the act, maybe even join in some of the dance routines. They all went off and started stripping to get out of their costumes and into their street clothes, taking no notice of me being in there with them. “Come on Carrie you need to get changed, I’m sure Sandy is getting rushed off her feet at the bar, hurry up and get stripped, no need to be shy, you’re one of the girls now.”

At the end of the night after the place had been cleared, Tara and the girls went off for a drink, while Sandy Duncan and I stayed on to tidy up the place and check the takings. “You girls did well tonight, the bar receipts are the best for ages and the tip jar is overflowing. You were great with the punters tonight Carrie, I had my reservations about you after seeing you dressed like that, but you proved me wrong. This may sound a bit weird, but unless you have a problem with it I would like you here as Carrie from now on, you and Sandy make a great team together.“

“But the Hotties aren’t scheduled for tomorrow, there is no need for me to be here as Darcy or Carrie, can’t I just be myself as Cory.”

“Look, the punters loved you tonight, you worked very well alongside Sandy, and you really came across as a friendly chatty barmaid, it works, why try to change it? What do you think Sandy?”

“Carrie, the more you worked with me tonight the more you slipped into the role of a girl, it suits you and the customers seemed to like it. However I must say Duncan that if you expect Carrie to be here from now on that she needs a bigger wardrobe, she can’t wear the same clothes every night. Your takings were well up tonight, you need to throw some of it her way and along with the tips, she and I can go shopping tomorrow to get a few more things, do you agree?” I found it strange that she had naturally slipped into referring to me as she and her, as if in her mind she was already seeing me as Carrie.

“Whatever girls, but don’t spread it about that you charmed money out of me, it’ll ruin my reputation.” He smiled as he handed me a bundle of notes.

“Right Carrie let’s get you home, I’ve got the car, it’s not safe for you to be walking the streets at this time of night, is it back to the university or are you staying with Tara again?”

“Back to Tara’s please Sandy, I can’t go back to my room looking like this.”

When she pulled up outside Tara’s she got out of the car with me, and gave me a big goodnight hug and a kiss on the cheek. “You were great tonight Carrie, with me behind the bar and on stage with the girls. Please don’t change your mind and back out now, I want to see you tomorrow to go shopping.”

“You look like a cat that’s got the cream, what’s up?” Tara asked as I plonked myself on the sofa, dropped my bag on the floor and kicked off my shoes.”

“Duncan was impressed with the way that I worked with you girls and with Sandy tonight. He wants me to stay on working with you all and gave me a bonus from the takings tonight. The only thing is that it is Carrie that he wants to stay on, not Cory.”

“That’s understandable you did a good job tonight and the longer it went on the more you seemed to fall into the role and be at ease as Carrie, what harm is there in that.”

“Don’t forget Tara that I am not a girl, I shouldn’t be making my living and changing my life by pretending to be one.”

“Three questions, did you enjoy yourself tonight and feel satisfied at a job well done, did you feel uncomfortable wearing those clothes, and did anyone say anything nasty to you?”

“I did enjoy interacting with Sandy behind the bar we got on well together. After I got over the worry about being seen as a man in a skirt, I just relaxed and got on with my job, not really noticing what I was wearing, and nobody said anything nasty, if anything I got a lot of nice comments about how pleasant and attractive I was.”

“There you are then, stop worrying, decision made, go and get changed ready for bed, we’ll make some hot chocolate, take it to bed, and chat for a while.”

When I stripped off I realised that the breast forms were glued to me, but decided that as I would be needing them tomorrow to go shopping to just leave them in place, changed into the sleep set from the night before, cleaned off my makeup and went back to find Tara.

“Carrie, if I can make a suggestion, those shorts are not designed to control male bits flopping around inside them, go and put on a pair of tight knickers underneath to keep yourself under control.”

Lying side by side chatting in bed with our drinks it was just so relaxing. “You know what Tara, if someone had told me a few weeks ago that I would be lying in bed next to a really attractive woman without even thinking about there being any sexual motive, I would’ve asked which planet they were on.”

“Keep it that way Carrie, I see you now as a friend, a girl friend, albeit with slightly different parts. For the moment think of yourself as Carrie, forget about Cory, until it becomes second nature for you. Come on, let's put the lights out, have a cuddle and a good night’s sleep.”

When I woke in the morning Tara was spooned into me with her arm around my waist, still fast asleep. I gently raised her arm and slid out of bed and left her to rest a bit longer while I looked around to see what was available for breakfast. Grocery shopping was obviously not her thing, the cupboards were almost bare, so I quickly dressed in just the skirt and top, it was a warm morning and there was no need for a coat or a wooly, brushed on some lipstick, hitched my bag over my shoulder and set off for the local shops, thinking how it was already automatic to pick up my bag as I left, how did I previously manage without one?

When Tara finally appeared there was a selection laid out on the kitchen counter, muesli, toast and marmalade, a fresh melon strawberry and blackcurrant fruit cocktail, a couple of tubs of flavoured yoghurt and a steaming pot of freshly brewed strong coffee.

“Wow, where have you been the last few months girl, normally I manage a coffee and, if I’m lucky, a slice of buttered toast, I could get used to this.”

“Make it quick, Sandy will be here in just over an hour, you’ve got to get yourself ready and I’ll need some help with my makeup.”

“If Carrie is going to be around for a while you need to learn to do it yourself. Have a go while I’m having breakfast. A bit lighter with the foundation than last night, the eyes about the same, they looked good last night, and your lipstick of course. Be careful when you are doing it, you don’t want to smear your clothes.”

“Is that ok?”

“That’s not too bad actually, brush on a bit more blusher to give your cheeks a healthy looking glow, go and brush out your hair give it a spray and then get changed, I’ve left out a fresh skirt and top for you. Then we’ll be all set for when Sandy arrives.”

To be continued.

Sandy soon arrived, as promised, to take me shopping for a new set of clothes, now that I was committed to spending a lot of my time as Carrie working at the Hotspot most evenings. She was carrying a bag from a lingerie shop in town. “I thought that you could maybe do with a bit more shape so we can judge better how things look on you when you try them on in the shops. There’s a waist cincher to pull you in a bit and some shape wear briefs to pad out your hips and backside, go and put them on and we’ll see if it improves your figure.”

I took off my skirt and put on the new undergarments, dressed again and looked at myself in a full-length mirror. “Wow, these things are so tight, I feel like I am being squeezed to death, but they definitely make the clothes sit better and they’ve given me a much more feminine figure.”

“One thing you’ll soon learn Carrie is that we girls sometimes have suffer for our beauty, you’ll be ok after a while when your body adjusts and gets used to them. You’re good to go, now get your things and let’s go hit the shops.”

“First things first,” Sandy said as we trawled the local high street, “before we spend a fortune in the designer outlets and high street chainstores let’s see what’s in the charity shops, sometimes you can pick up something of decent quality for next to nothing, comparatively.”

She was right, in the second shop we looked in we found a cherry-red sheath cocktail dress which fitted my albeit artificial figure like a glove and a pair of dress shoes to match. That put Sandy and Tara in the mood for hunting for more and we found a few doors away, in another charity shop, a couple of designer brand skirts for about a tenth of the cost new. In the run-of-the-mill national brand outlets who were having sales, as seemed to be permanently happening, we found a few more skirts ‘for day wear around the house’ or for working at The Hotspot, and a variety of tops and blouses and shirts, enough to keep me going for weeks. Of course I needed a drawer-full of bras and panties, in different colours and styles to go with the different outfits we had bought, along with more make up and skincare than I knew what to do with. I was exhausted and ready to go back to Tara’s, but I wasn’t going to be let off that easily.

“Nearly done Carrie, but there is still something missing, look at us and see if you can pick out what is missing on you.” Tara teased and noticed my questioning look. “It’s earrings, I can’t remember the last time I saw a young woman or girl without pierced ears and wearing studs or drops. There’s a jewellers just on the corner there, they do free piercing if you buy a few sets.”

“Ok, but only one piercing in each I hate the look of a run of studs up the ear.”

I ended up with several sets of zirconium studs, gold wedding bands, hoops, and some crystal drops which the girls assured me that I would get used to them swinging about all the time.

Along the road back at Tara’s we stopped off at a wine bar all of us carrying a handful of bags.

“Did you enjoy that then Carrie, your first shopping trip as a girl, I bet it was a lot more fun than when you have been looking for boring bland boy’s stuff. How did it hit the purse?”

“Duncan’s bonus and the bar tips have covered about half of it, the rest is going to hit when my next credit card statement arrives, I just hope the tips keep coming in.”

The girls were not dancing that night, the cabaret was a tribute band Antarctica, so there would be no need for me to appear on stage as Darcy, so it was a case of everyday clothes and makeup rather than anything too dramatic. After rummaging through all the clothes that I had bought, I settled on a plain navy flared linen skirt which showed of my new curves paired with a cornflower silky jersey sleeveless top which looked quite stylish but practical as a working outfit. I knew that Sandy would be in trousers and plain cotton top but felt that I still needed to emphasise my femininity by wearing a skirt.

Wen I arrived at the club, Duncan was just opening up the bar. “Hi Carrie you are looking very smart tonight, I like the style, it suits you. I guess that you have been out today spending some of that bonus I gave you.”

“All of it has gone, along with a big hit on my credit card, you don’t realise how much it costs for a girl to get enough clothes to fit a wardrobe with a decent selection of choices, but then why would you, men can wear almost identical stuff everyday.”

“Ok don’t bite my head off, it hasn’t taken you long to get on the feminist man-criticising bandwagon has it, the girls have really worked a number on you, but I’m not complaining, you do a good job. By the way, you were great as a compère for the Hotties last night, can you do the intro and links for the band tonight, no need for a full wisecracking routine, just a little something as a warm-up, and I’ll slip you a few extra pounds, it’ll help to pay your credit card bill.”

“Good choice Carrie,” Sandy commented as she visually inspected my outfit, “the blue top brings out the colour in your eyes, you make me feel quite drab, I’ll have to try harder next time.”

“Your natural beauty lets you get away with relatively plain choices but I have to make a bit more effort with my image. Anyway, let's get the show on the road, the punters will soon be coming through the door.”

It was a slow start, but there was bit of a rush just before the band was due to come on which Sandy and I coped with until I had to leave her to hold the fort for a few minutes while I went off to do my compère session. As I was working as Carrie, rather than Darcy I kept it relatively simple leaving all the sexual innuendo jokes for another time when doing the show with the girls. I had pulled off from Google a few topical jokes mainly at the expense of the government, local council and the town football team, which got the audience in a lively happy frame of mind for when I introduced the band.

During the band’s first session the audience were fairly attentive so Sandy and I had a bit of time for a chat behind the bar between dealing with the occasional drinks orders.

“I don’t know how you do it Carrie, I couldn’t get up on the stage like that.”

“It’s all down to years of am-dram at school and as part of the degree course, plus watching the acts at the comedy club teaches you how to deal with any comments from the audience.”

“It’s not just that, when you were up there you were Carrie, there was no trace at all of Cory. Even the way you stood and moved and used your hands to emphasise what you were saying along with your voice and the way you talked just came across as female. If I didn’t know better, I would just have assumed that you were a girl, and I’m sure that that is what the audience think too.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. When the girls first suggested that I take Mimi’s place I made it clear that I didn’t want to come across as a drag queen I just wanted to look like the girl next door who could tell a few jokes, even if some of them suggested that I was not all I seemed to be.”

“Well you have certainly pulled off that act, Anyway the band is just finishing off you had better get up there on the stage and do your bit, there will be more time for girly chat during their next session.”

Sandy and I were working well together, keeping the customers supplied with their drinks and having flirty chats with them to keep them coming back. It was another successful night, the bar takings were up and the tips were the best yet, Sandy and I were obviously keeping the customers satisfied.

“You’re doing great girls, I was obviously right deciding that Carrie would go down better than Cory, keep it up girls and there might even be a bit of a bonus next week.” Duncan promised us as he closed the door behind us as we left.

Things just continued for the next few weeks and I got more and more comfortable being Carrie most of the time except when I was in at Uni for classes. As I was spending so much time as Carrie and socialising with the girls I was noticeably getting more effeminate in my speech and mannerisms, and was constantly being hounded by Maggie who was determined to get me to go to her LGBT meetings at uni.

Things took a dramatic turn one night after leaving the club to really hit home to me what I was doing .

“Do you want a lift back to Tara’s, it’s not far out of my way?”Sandy offered.

“No I’ll be alright, it's a nice night, the walk in the fresh air will do me good, thanks anyway, just get yourself off home.”

It wasn’t long before I regretted turning down Sandy’s offer, as I realised the I was being followed by three lads who had been at the club and who had been trying to chat me up all night. I quickened my pace to get away from them but they then came even closer.

“What’s the hurry darling, Carrie isn’t it, let’s have a chat as we see you home.”

“Just leave me alone lads, the chat at the bar was just sales banter, I’m not really interested.”

“That’s a shame, you don’t know what you are missing out on.” One of them was now in my face and trying to put his hand up my skirt, you girls are all the same, giving us come-on signals and then going cold, you really shouldn’t do that.”

Luckily a police patrol car drove past and seeing what was going on pulled up causing the lads to run off.

“Are you alright love,” a young constable asked me.”it might be better if you get in the car and we’ll drop you off at home, they might very well come back when we drive off.”

I was glad to get back to Tara’s, and flopped down on the sofa next to her, trying my best not to look worried.

“What’s the problem, I heard a car pull up and looked out to see the policeman following you to the door.”

I couldn’t hold it back any longer grabbed her in a hug and burst into tears. “I was followed home from the club by three lads who thought that because I had been pleasant serving them at the bar, that they had a chance with me, one even tried running his hand up my thigh, I don’t know what would have happened if the police had not driven past.”

“It’s ok, unfortunately we’ve all been there one time or another, welcome to the world of womanhood Carrie. At least it didn’t go too far, mind you they would have had a big shock if they hadn’t been stopped. That at least stopped the tears and brought a smile to my face.

“Go on get yourself cleaned up and ready for bed, I’ll make the chocolate, I think it’s a time for another sleepover and chat in my bed.”

I was feeling a lot better in the morning when I went to the kitchen for breakfast, finding Tara working on her laptop. “I’ve been thinking, I’ve spent a lot of time working with male dancers and it’s not unusual for them to wear a gaff under their training pants to keep everything in it’s place. I’ve found a more sophisticated version that the drag queens use which if you tuck yourself back between your legs gives the appearance of having a vulva and vagina, apparently you can even wee with it on, although obviously you will have to sit like the rest of us girls. Do you want me to order one for you, at least if the guy’s hand had got to third base he wouldn’t have found anything unusual?”

“I’ve already got the breasts fixed on me, and am dressed as a girl most of the time except when I go to uni, I may as well go the whole hog, press the order key.”

“That’s another thing, what are you doing about your course at uni and the room you rent. You are here most of the time, do you fancy a flat share, then you won’t have to worry about anyone noticing the changes to your appearance.”

“It’s almost the end of term and the end of my time at uni, so I’ll go there one last time, collect all my personal stuff and move in here, if you are sure.”

The gaff arrived the next day and at first it was uncomfortable and I felt awkward, but I soon got used to it, apart from the inconvenience of having no choice but to sit to have a wee, which I was now doing most of the time anyway, and was amazed at how realistic it looked. According to the leaflet that came with it the false vagina even would even allow penetrative sex, although I had no idea how that would work and no intention of trying to find out.

“We are doing our show again tonight so you will be working as Darcy. Since you look quite convincing now, instead of wearing the can-can costume, why not try the showgirl one. The gaff, the false breasts and the waist cincher should should let you squeeze into one. Do you want to try one on to see whether you could get away with it?”

I managed to squeeze into the costume and although it was a high cut style over the hips, and showing the natural fatty tissue on my chest pushed up by the false boobs under the rigid costume cups, I actually looked quite passable and would not look a lot different from the rest of the troupe.

“Do you think that you could manage the heels as well, if you can, you could join the chorus line at the end of the show.” The rest of the day, wearing the showgirl costume, Tara taught me the basics of the last part of their routine which was not too difficult to pick up, the hard part was doing it in heels without twisting my ankle.

I arrived at the club in normal working clothes and helped Sandy set up the bar for the night. Rather than spend all night in the tight showgirl costume I went on to do my compère routine as I was.

“Hello ladies and I see it’s mainly ladies, I suppose all your fellas are in the next bar watching the football. That reminds me of when I was about twelve or thirteen, I was so innocent and naive that when I heard my mum talking to a friend about the menopause, I thought she meant being out with her friends having a pause from their men, leaving them at home.” That took a few seconds to sink in and I thought that it was going to be a difficult audience, then suddenly there was a shout from the floor “Too right girl, we could all do with a break from their drunken groping at times.” And the floor erupted in giggles and whoops . It seemed that I had won them over so kept going in the same vein.

“As I was saying I was so innocent that when my sister was talking to my mum about her monthlies I thought that she was talking about the regular deliveries from Amazon, and I asked when I would be getting mine, they both just looked at me as if I was an idiot, “It’s just a bloody waste of time.” Shouted the same woman, who seemed to want to work as a double act with me.

“Mum then tried to put me in the picture by describing what it was all about, telling me about sanitary pads and tampons. I was confused, I had thought that sanitary pads were things like Elastoplast and band-aid for putting on cuts, and as for tampons I really had no idea, as far as I were concerned they could go where the sun don’t shine.”

I thought that if they realised that I was a man I would get a totally different reaction from them, but they loved it and the follow-ons in the same vein, having a laugh about things that normally affected or depressed them seemed to hit a chord, and when I introduced the girls and was leaving the stage, there was a clamour of applause cheers and whistles.

“You really hit the right notes there Carrie, despite what men think about us as delicate little flowers we all like a smutty joke or two and a bit of double-entendre. Where do you get your material? Obviously those things are a part of our lives, but you haven’t been brought up to just accept them for what they are?”

“It’s life Sandy, but you are right, mention periods and most men change the subject faster than a formula 1 starting grid. Let’s See how the show goes later and I’m sure that you will want another talk."

Near the end of the girls’ final dance routine, which they had changed to being the showgirl chorus line, I left Sandy to run the bar and went to get changed. Taking a deep breath I strutted out onto the stage to be met with a lot of catcalls and whistles.

“Ok calm down guys, girls get you men under control. As a treat tonight the girls have asked me to join in with their reprise routine so hit the music Duncan and we’’ll get going. I joined in the middle of the line and managed to follow their leads with high kicks, sideways knee bends and hip swivels and managed to dance off to the side of the stage in the line without any major mistakes. Back in the dressing room the girls were all over me.’Wow Carrie that was super I’m sure that you will now be seen as one of the Hotties, there looked to be no difference between you and any of us, if ever we need a substitute we know who to ask.”

”We’ll talk later, I need to get changed to go back to the bar to help Sandy. Without thinking I stripped down to the bra and high-cut panties, drawing gasps from all the girls. “What have you done to yourself you look just like the rest of us?”

“Later girls, I’ll leave Tara to give you the details.” I cut them off as I pulled on my skirt and top ready to go back to the bar.”

To be continued.

After dealing with the rush after the show, Sandy took me out of earshot of the punters. “Have you been playing us Carrie, up there in that skimpy costume there was no way I could see you as other than a real girl, you go in at all the right places and stand out at all the right places, tell me the truth, are you really a girl?”

“Calm down Sandy, I have not been lying to you, it’s amazing what can be done with spandex and silicone. But I must admit that doing that last routine with the girls I almost felt as if I was one of them, just like when I am here at the bar with you having our girly chats and flirting with the customers.

After all the customers had left, the Hotties, Sandy and I stayed on for a drink as they all wanted to question me as to what was happening.

“A few nights ago after Sandy left me, as I was walking home I was followed by some lads and they were getting quite abusive and threatening and one started to run his hand up my thigh, until they were stopped by a passing police car. I was really worried that one of them was going to assault me and discover that I was not who I seemed to be. I somehow felt as if I was a vulnerable woman and it has become easier for me to think that is what I am and relate to all the problems you have. Violent assault, patronising men talking down to you and treating you like a simpleton, to say nothing about period pains and menopause hot flushes. That is where all my jokes are coming from, it’s me trying to understand your feelings.”

“Well after that show tonight nobody is going to consider you as Darcy la Doudou, a drag substitute for Mimi, to the world you are now Carrie Farewell, one of the better female comedians.” Sandy gave me a hug as she spoke.

“Actually I want a clear break between my life as Cory Farewell and my alter ego as Carrie.so I will be using my mum’s maiden name, and will call myself Carrie Carter when on stage.” I replied after a short pause to consider what she had said.

I managed to collect my belongings from the university the next day without any mishaps, even dressed in chinos and a shirt and with the breast forms taken off for the day, I still looked female, or at best androgynous, and that is actually how I felt. Not only was I now leaving behind my time as a student, but I was also leaving behind my life as Cory. The girls had convinced me that although I had only recently fallen into the role, that my future would have to be as Carrie, I was no longer acting the part, it was becoming part of me and that is who I now was. Back at the flat, apart from one or two sentimental personal items, Cory was packed away in a suitcase and put in a cupboard well out of the way.

For the next two months I was applying for job after job in the theatre world, with no luck, so continued working in the Hotspot. It wasn’t worth the bother switching back and forth between Cory and Carrie, so I was now living full time as a girl. Spending so much time with Tara and the girls, and working with Sandy, I just automatically copied and adopted all their mannerisms and ways of interacting with each other. With wearing female clothes, mainly skirts but sometimes trousers, to all intents and purposes I was now virtually female, except for the obvious physical bits, but even they seemed to be getting less prominent.

One night at the club after the last bar rush was over, I was approached by Maggie from the university. “Hi Carrie, or Cory, or whatever, do you remember me. Maybe it’s my overactive gaydar but I saw through the new you almost right away, despite how convincing you look. I loved your act tonight, you are one of the best female comedians around, and one of the most attractive. Remember that I told you that if you ever asked me for a date, I said to ask me again when you are dressed as a girl? Do you fancy going for a drink somewhere when you have a night off, do you fancy a chat?”

“I told you at the time that I was perfectly straight and despite how I’m now looking I am still male hetero inclined, lesbian relationships are not on the cards, but having said that I would love to have a drink with you, no doubt you have a million questions that you want to ask me.”

“I’d love to Carrie, and don’t worry, your secret is perfectly safe with me.”

Back at home, I told Tara about my meeting with Maggie and asked her what she thought I should do.

“She sounds pleasant enough, it’ll do no harm to have a drink with her, as a friend. If either of you want to take it further, either she will have to go against her nature and turn bi or hetero, or you will have to accept that you are a girl in a lesbian relationship. There is another choice though. I know that I told you cuddled up in bed one time that I saw you as a friend, a girl friend, but I’m now starting to remember you as Cory, I think that if you want we could get together, you could carry on in public as Carrie, but in here you could be Cory. I could live with that if you can.”

I went out for a drink with Maggie, and had an honest heart to heart with her, saying that although I would continue to work as Carrie, that I wanted a man/woman sexual relationship that I was going to work on with Tara, which she agreed was not what she was looking for. We left as friends promising to keep in touch, with a long goodbye hug, although we had never had a close relationship.

After one of my routines at the club, the manager of the comedy club, who I recognised from when I worked the bar there. introduced himself and asked for a chat with me, understandingly not recognising me.

“Carrie, I know that you have an established gig here at the Hotspot, but would you be interested in doing some shows at the Comedy Club for me?”

“Are we talking professionally? I’m not interested in unpaid open-mic performances, I already have an established spot here.”

“No, you’re beyond that, I’ve heard so much about your act and having seen you perform it would be on a professional contract. I don’t know what you get paid here but I’m sure that you will get a much better deal with me, I need more female acts, there are too many young jack-the-lads about who think that because they can make a few wisecracks with their mates, that they have a career as a comedian, and most of them are a turn-off to my female customers.”

“I need to think about it and have a word with Duncan, the owner here, and the girls in the Hotties troupe, they have been very supportive to me and I don’t want them to feel that I am letting them down.”

Duncan and the girls were disappointed when I told them about the offer, but thought that it was too good an opportunity for me to turn down, although they said it would give them a problem as to how to replace me.

“That should be easy. Sandy is brilliant with people, she says that she is not a performer, but that is what she does every night behind the bar, engaging with the customers. Give her a few gigs as a trial, she can use my material to start with until she gets herself together with her own style. The same goes for working with the girls, when we have been out as a group you have seen her move on the dance floor, she has natural rhythm and will soon pick up your routines, probably better than me.”

After a few trial sessions I was doing a regular 3 nights each week at the Comedy Club and it’s associated venues in nearby towns and was becoming quite well known on the local circuit but was still doing two nights at the hotspot to give Sandy a break. She had quickly got over her nerves about appearing on stage and was going down very well with the audiences, many of whom fondly remembered her from chatting with her when she was working behind the bar.

I had now established a relationship with Tara staying in the roles of Carrie in public and Cory when we were alone at home, and although I was becoming more and more at ease in feminine the ways I conducted myself, we managed to strengthen our relationship.

Time moves on and things changed. Following a guest appearance on a local tv station chat show, I soon became a regular, I had outgrown the Comedy Club circuits and although appreciative of the opportunity they had given me, my career was taking me in other directions. Rather than being seen as a comedian, I was now becoming known as a tv chat show guest and occasional host. As my career developed and I grew from local to national tv stations, I came to the attention of the tabloid press who were digging into my background, and inevitably my life story became known. For a couple of weeks my photo and story were splashed all over the newspapers, particularly the red-top tabloids.

We later found out from some of the reports that the story was sold to one of the red-tops by a jealous Mimi la Reine, Tara and I found out where he lived and went to visit him to ask why he felt that he had to make my life public. The door was opened by an attractive fashionably dressed middle-aged woman who looked at us for a few seconds.

“I suppose that you had better come in.” She quickly invited us after she had thought about it.

“Mimi, is that you?” Tara asked as we walked in.

“It’s Emelia now, Emelia McQueen, I chose to use my mother’s maiden name but she was known in the family as Mimi, I suppose that I owe you an explanation.”

Surprisingly, stripped of all the flamboyant glamorous dresses, excessive padding, outrageous makeup and very camp voice, Emilia came across as an attractive middle-aged perfectly passable woman and seemed a lot happier in her new life, apologising for outing me in a fit of jealousy when she thought that I had planned all along to take over her act at the Hotspot, and how successful my TV career had become.

“When I visited the club, unrecognised looking as I am now, and saw your act, even when using my material, I realised that I was never going to compete with the likes of you Carrie and really make it as a successful drag artist. I accepted that I would end up performing in seedy, down-market clubs and pubs, depressed and half-drunk most of the time. The way you transformed and performed as a woman rather than a man in drag convinced me that I really wanted to be a genuine woman and I am now started on transition, I couldn’t be happier, thank you for opening my eyes.”

We had arrived ready to really have a go at Mimi for what he had done, but left Emelia as friends wishing her well in her future life.

However, far from being my downfall, over the following weeks and months I was suddenly invited as a guest on chat shows eager to let me tell my story, panel games, fly-on -the-wall documentaries who were all keen to follow the fashion for the media to push LGBT stories. However ‘every dog has his day’ and I was soon yesterday’s news, just another personality getting on with a tv career.

My brief moment of fame however, had its drawbacks. Since university I had not been to see my parents, even though I had kept in regular contact by phone they were previously unaware of my new lifestyle until they saw all the media publicity, and it was time to pay them a visit to meet the new me. Rather than hit them with an extreme over-feminine version of Carrie, I deliberately toned down my appearance, and arrived with my hair tied back in a plain ponytail, minimal makeup and a casual jacket and trouser suit. Even so when my mother first saw the rather subdued version of me her eyes nearly popped out of her head, as she scrutinised me from head to toe, before wrapping her arms around me with tears in her eyes.

“It’s not what I was expecting Cory….,sorry, Carrie. From seeing you on TV and the photos in the papers I was expecting to see a much more glamorous version of you, but you look delightful the way you are.” I didn’t know what sort of reception I would receive and was pleasantly surprised that she seemed to just accept me. “I have sent your father out, I thought that it would be better to have some time together to get to know how this all came about, I thought that it would be easier with just the two of us. Come on in and get settled and I will put the kettle on, or would you prefer something stronger, I think I need a nice cold G&T to settle my nerves.”

For the next hour I told her how a one-off appearance as Darcy had led to me living as Carrie and the friends I had made along the way, interrupted many times with questions.

“You have talked a lot about your friend Tara, if you two are serious about each other when are we going to meet her, she seems to be a really nice girl.”

“That is the next shock for you Mum, we plan to get married, although we haven’t decided yet whether it will be as two brides, or as a bride and groom. I know that my life is not as you expected it to be, but do we have your blessing.”

“If you’re happy then I’m happy for you, of course you have my blessing.”

“What about Dad, how will he react when he sees me?”

“To be honest when he first saw you on TV he was deeply upset, blaming himself and me for how you have turned out, but when he hears the story you have just told me, I’m sure that he will come round, but even if he is not happy, I will work on him and he’ll fall into line.”

When I heard the front door open as Dad returned, I nervously held my breath. He must have spent at least a minute looking at me before walking over. “If you are going to continue living as a woman, you need to learn to act more like one, come here and give your old dad a hug, you haven’t done that since you were about 8 years old.”

We all settled down for some sandwiches, cakes and tea while I went through my story again for his benefit.

“Well, it was all a bit of a shock when we first heard about you and saw you on TV, but you seem happy enough, and I like the sound of Tara, bring her over soon. The main thing that I am disappointed in is that it looks unlikely that our unusual name, Farewell, is going to continue, there are not many people around that share the name, and any relatives I know of are all female and have taken their husband’s name.

I thought for a while before replying. “ That’s where you are wrong Dad, I wasn’t going to tell you yet, but Tara is pregnant, and you will be grandparents in a few months, and the early signs are that the baby is a boy and we have agreed that he will be registered as a Farewell.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful, so unexpected, but you are still so young to be starting a family.” Mum gushed as she rushed over to hug me, and Dad put his hands on my shoulder “ congratulations son, I hope that you will both be very happy together.”

Two weeks later Tara came with me to meet my parents and was an instant success, particularly with Mum, who whisked her away to discuss plans for the wedding and for bringing up the baby, while I went out for a walk with Dad.

“Have you thought about your future Cory, Carrie, whatever, a child changes everything, at the moment you are travelling around a lot and a child needs a stable life.

“Actually I’ve just been signed up to front a travelogue programme which will commit me for about 4 months. It will mean that I will be visiting small fledging farm industries, talking to the owners about how starting a business has changed their lives and how they see their business growing. That will see me through Tara’s pregnancy and the early months of the baby, but I want to be a bit more settled after that and enjoy his first words, his first steps and be part of his life. We will be looking for somewhere to settle down as a family home with a sideline to give an income to pay the bills.”

“Don’t answer me now, have a think about it and discuss it with Tara, but I am thinking about retiring from my business and selling both the business and this house to downsize. With what you are currently earning, together we should be able to find a smallholding somewhere where your boy and any future children can grow up in a pleasant peaceful surrounding. Think about it and we’ll talk again.”

Tara and I hadn’t really thought that far ahead, our main thoughts were getting through the pregnancy and birth rather than life afterwards but Dad had given us plenty to think about and Tara quite took to the idea.

“I quite like your Mum and Dad, and if we could find somewhere with a Granny-wing, it would be useful to have someone at hand when you are away filming, and for the occasional babysitting. Let’s see if we can find anything suitable.”

Over the following months I started on my new project for ‘Carrie’s Inspirations’ visiting small family-run industries from mussel farms in one of the Scottish sea lochs, a one-man band gin and whisky distillery in rural Northumberland, a vineyard and winery near York, an Alpaca farm and knitwear company in Lincolnshire, a pottery manufacture in Staffordshire set up by former employees of a world-famous pottery brand, another vineyard near Hereford, a dairy and cheese shop in Gloucestershire and a lodge camping complex in Hampshire. The one thing that they all had in common was the need to diversify from traditional farming to supplement their income, with the sideline eventually becoming the main money-making side of their business.

While the programmes were with the production team getting ready for broadcast Tara and I had several weeks to relax before the arrival of the baby discussing the places that I had visited.

“They all sound like people that have found their niche in life, does anything like that appeal to you?’ Tara asked me one evening. “Have you seen anything that appeals to you?”

“Actually I have but I’m not sure that this is the right time to make a change, with the baby due anytime and all the stress and bother that will bring, there is no need to add to add the worries of starting a new business and a new life.”

“There will always be a good reason not to make the leap, another baby, your parents or my parents becoming ill, your work on TV drying up, if you have found something tell me about it and see whether I think it is a good idea.”

“The owners of the vineyard I visited and featured near Hereford want to retire, they set it up from nothing over 30 years ago, and although they have full-time and seasonal staff they are finding it more and more difficult to cope with the demands of the business. It is a thriving profitable business in a beautiful area, large enough to be successful but not too big that it becomes a corporate millstone. As well as the main house, the winery and an associated smallholding and shop, it also comes with a separate cottage on the estate which would be ideal as a retirement home for Mum and Dad, and a barn ripe for conversion as a guest wing for when your family come to visit."

‘Sounds interesting and I like the idea of a ready supply of decent wine.” She joked. “We can go and have a look together, and if it all seems ok, we should maybe have time to get settled in before the baby arrives.”

“ I’ve been thinking about where to take my life from here. I know that families have all sorts of diverse relationships now, maybe I am old-fashioned, but I really think that the traditional family is still the best situation to raise children in, with a mother and father to learn from. While I will continue to work as Carrie Carter, personally at home with the children and the staff of the vineyard or whatever business we end up with I will be Cory Farewell, what do do think?”

“To tell the truth I have been having similar thoughts myself but didn’t know how to raise the subject. If you can live with a split-personality, I can too, and I agree it may be a more stable life for our children.”

A week later, now back to appearing as Cory, albeit with some of the now ingrained effeminate traits, Tara and I visited the vineyard and discussed the purchase of it with the current owners. Jack and Margaret Fisher. We agreed a purchase price for the property, land, and stock still maturing, along with a 12 month retainer fee for them to help us get our heads around the business.

We managed to get settled in at the vineyard before baby George Arthur arrived, but having Mum and dad nearby allowed me to start learning the business without Tara being left to cope alone. By now all the production work on ‘Carrie’s Inspirations’ was complete and the show was ready for broadcast. After the showing of the episode about our vineyard we were inundated with visitors eager to follow up on what they had seen and there was a surge in sales of wine and the associated foods from our shop, according to Jack and Margaret it have never been busier. It seemed that our future was now established.

We kept a wall between the Carrie’s ongoing appearances on the travelogues which proved to be very popular and continued in further series, and my life as Cory at the vineyard and in my family life. The only time the two became interwoven was to be when Carrie made a guest appearance to host the annual celebration of the end of the grape picking and processing season when things calmed down again. Gradually my career as Carrie began to wind down and my life as Cory the vineyard owner and now the proud father of a daughter Alexandra, known by the family name Sandy, and another son Duncan, became the norm. I never regretted my time as Carrie, which kick-started my career and helped to shape my personality, but I was now totally at ease as Cory, except for occasional celebrations when Carrie came out of the closet again.

The end.