The office building apparently was from around the beginning of the century. All chrome and insulating glass, well-maintained. A metal plate at the entrance listed the companies inside. According to it, Montafun Statistics occupied the twelfth floor.

The floor turned out to have a single wide corridor with half a dozen of doors at each side. At its end, a big Venetian window offered a nice view of the east of Milan. Its beginning was arranged as a little lobby, presided over by a massive wooden desk with a stocky, gray-haired woman behind it.

“Hello, my name is Damiano Rossi. I’m coming for the job interview, at 10 o’clock.”

“Welcome, Mr. Rossi. You are a bit early, please take a seat—”

“No need for waiting, Fabricia. Welcome, Mr. Rossi, please come in,” boomed a deep voice. A door covered with leatherette had opened near the end of the corridor. Next to it was standing a tall man about seventy, in a dark blue suit. “I am Sergio Montafun. Do you have your resume and diploma on paper?”

“Yes, Mr. Montafun, as requested.” I had heard his name, but couldn’t remember where.

He scrutinized my papers through golden-rimmed glasses and led me in to the big table that occupied most of the room. Next to it, on the one side there were a wide wooden desk and a sleek processing desk, arranged around an armchair, and a big cabinet. Obviously this place served both as his office and a meeting room.

“Hm, hm… You had excellent grades. Why have you worked in building renovation for these three years since graduating?”

“I sought a job as a statistician for all that time, but the AIs already do for pennies all the statistics one needs, you surely know it. Couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw your job ad…”

“Correct… Being a good student, you undoubtedly can explain the mathematical difference between T-Test and ANOVA?…”

The next hour was a thorough exam on the entire statistics course. He obviously knew it to the last dot in the textbooks. Much to my amazement, I did pretty well… After that, he thought for a minute, then announced:

“I am sorry, but I cannot offer you the job.”

I was about to explode. What the hell more he wanted?!… I clenched my teeth and tried to be polite:

“Mr. Montafun, could you please tell me where I was not up to your expectations? It would be useful for me, to know where I need to improve. Maybe if you offer a job again, I will be already able to match your requirements…”

He get up, went to the wide window and watched for some time the city skyline. When he turned back, his face had slightly reddened.

“The fault is not yours. I would take you on the spot, but am constrained by some requirements…” His piercing gaze stopped on me for a second or two. Then he sighed:

“Strictly off the record, almost all of our work is for the European Commission. They are the almost only ones who insist on having their statistics done by humans. However, receiving their orders requires me to maintain a gender balance in the company, by their rules. That is why we actually seek a woman – but, because of the anti-discrimination laws, couldn’t write it in the job advertisement, and save you the time and the effort to apply…”

I barely constrained myself from spewing out a long and sharp comment about the EC rules and laws.

“So, Mr. Rossi, if you know a female statistician who seeks a job, I would highly value your recommendation. And… Apparently we work well and the EC is happy with us, and we get more and more orders. I hope to be able to open more jobs in a year at most, and if you still seek one then, I would love to have you on board… I rely on your confidence about what I told you, and wish you a nice day.”

* * *

I was boiling on the inside.

Since graduating, I worked on outside insulation and painting of older buildings. The EU grants were pushing a lot of money into energy effectiveness and city aesthetics, and good climbers easily found a job with renovation companies. However, 2040 was the last year for the grants, and since then I was jobless, already more than a year. Tried to work as a loader, but every company would send me off the moment they saw me – short, slim and redhead. Nobody cared that I am more wiry than their strongest workers, and that superstitions belong in the Dark Ages…

So, I was surviving off selling whatever I had, and helping clean a local bistro after working hours, in exchange for some leftover food. Luckily, I had inherited a small apartment when Dad died, so didn’t had to pay rent. And most bills – water, grid power, Net connectivity – could be ignored: the providers couldn’t deny you these services even if you stop paying, they were basic human rights by an EU law, and I tried hard to economize on them too…

Until yesterday, when I got a letter from some debt collection lawyers. Threatening me with prison if I don’t start paying the debts. Over five thousand Euro… And just two hours later, I had the best luck in the world – to see a job ad for a statistician, for a first time since I graduated. Offering a good salary, too… All that lost because of being a man! Screaming that men are oppressed have never been my thing, a real man never complains, but right now I felt that there might be some truth in that.

With just pennies in my pocket, nowhere to hurry for and plenty of steam to vent out, I decided to walk home. Walking down the street, I passed a mall, and I couldn’t help but look at it. Big windows, full with opulence. Happy people coming in and out of its doors, lining before the fast-food stalls at the end of the sidewalk, living a good life. A lot of beautiful girls, sweetly dressed. Well, at least looking at them is free…

The collision was so strong that I almost fell. It took me a moment to return to the reality. There lying on the gray sidewalk was a girl, dressed goth style, her eyes blazing with anger. Over and around her was scattered the stuffing of a kebab.

“You idiot, why don’t you look where you are going?!”

“A crash takes two idiots who don’t look,” I noted. I didn’t wanted to get angry at a girl.

“It’s you men who don’t! Always thinking you are privileged!” She got up and looked at me indignantly. “You ruined my lunch, you brainless gawker!”

Suddenly all of my blood rushed to my head.

“Ruined your lunch? Oookay, I will buy you one!”

She paled a bit and tried to step back, but I grabbed her wrist.

“Where did you buy it? That stall there? Come with me… Was your kebab veggie?… One vegetarian kebab, please.”

I took my wallet out and shook the money on my palm. For a moment my heart froze – I was several pennies short. However, the stocky, Arabic-looking man behind the stall had noticed my hesitation. Stretched out his hand and winked slightly, took the money, threw them in the drawer without counting and handed me the kebab. I nodded to him with gratitude and put the package unceremoniously in the hand of the girl:

“Here, have your lunch. And a very pleasant day, too!”

I turned back, but before taking a stride, heard her voice.

“Hey… Was that the last of your money?”

She sounded a bit ashamed, but I was too angry to be polite.

“Why should you care? You got your lunch, right? We men are privileged, remember?”

“You are that. Be honest about it, you get it better about everything—”

I turned to her, on the verge of explosion:

“You want me to be honest? Get it, dear! I am neck deep in debt, to be sent to prison for it, because I can’t find a job for years! And right now, I just came from an interview, where I was the perfect candidate, but they didn’t hired me, because I’m male! Do you see any male privilege in that?!”

She looked at me agape, without saying anything.

“Good appetite, dear. And don’t forget to always complain how oppressed you women are, and how privileged men are! While you have a job, and a man is behind the bars for not having one, because of his sex!”

I turned back, still steaming, but suddenly felt her hand on my shoulder.

“Hey… Come with me.”

“Why? What for?”

“I’ll help you.”

“Why?”

“Women aren’t the scum you imagine, believe it or not…”

She dragged me into the mall and to the underground floor. After two turns into bright-lit corridors, she stopped before a small shop and unlocked the door. Above it, there was a neon sign “Sex Shop Donatella”.

“What’s this place?”

“I work here.” She ushered me inside. I looked at the assortment of goods for sale.

“Gonna offer me a job? I understand nothing in condoms and sex toys.”

“No. Some jobs just need a woman. And teach you a lot of nice things about men…” She winced and opened a small door at the bottom of the shop. Through it, I could see a storage room. She went in and returned with an unmarked white box.

“Might help you. If you are brave enough, that is. Some Bravehearts you men are… Open it at home.”

“What’s in it? Shoes?”

“You’ll see.”

“I can’t pay—”

“A gift… Don’t worry, it’s manufacturer’s free demo. Now get out, I have some things to do.” She pulled a small phone out of a pocket. “Phone, dial ‘Mall Tech Support’… Hello? Yeah, from the sex shop again. Will your guys finally be coming? I can’t sell with a busted card terminal… Yeah, it doesn’t even start, I told you already…”

* * *

The look of my home was depressing. The living room was almost empty. Gone were the paintings from the walls, the pianino, the old library with the books – all sold during the last year. Even most of my clothes too. The only things remaining were the old wardrobe, my bed, a small table and a chair next to it, and the wall Net screen.

Mom had died during my birth; I knew her only from images. Dad died too when I was five, and a schoolmate of his, Uncle Franco, raised me. He was a professional mountain climber, working for ICAR as a rescuer, living in a station high in the Alps, having no family besides me. There I grew up, no other kid for many kilometers around, homeschooled by him and the rest of the rescue team, and learned to love the mountain and to climb.

And what a true man is, from his example. Uncle Franco, who rarely said anything, had lost all his toes and a couple of fingers to frostbite, but even the worst snowstorm couldn’t stop him from going out on a rescue. He was a legend. Where rocks and steel broke, he held. Where God himself reneged on a promise, he kept his… When I was seventeen, he helped securing a climb on Eiger’s North Wall. Died there, saving eight climbers from falling 500 meters down.

After that, I moved back to my parents’ home. The rescue team wanted me to stay, but everything there reminded me of the loss. I found I couldn’t bear with it. The station was not the same without Uncle Franco.

Dad had managed to save some money to get me through the university, but I had to support myself after that. And had failed. Shame on me…

I hesitated for some moments. Then put the box on the bed and carefully opened it.

In there was an inflatable sexdoll.

How the hell that girl believed it will help me? Mumbo-jumbo about spending pent-up male aggressiveness? Or maybe she meant me to sell it?

I took the folded doll out of the box and spread it on the bed. It might indeed be costly – its quality was unbelievable. I had seen anyone’s share of sex dolls over the Net – next to this one, even the newest ones would look like cheap vinyl. Inflated, it would probably be impossible to tell from a very beautiful sleeping girl. Its skin was indistinguishable from perfect female skin, its complexion was absolutely flawless and yet looked natural, the lashes of its closed eyes were longer and thicker than those of any girl without make-up I had ever seen, its lips appeared a heaven to kiss… Yet, it left the impression of a real beautiful girl. Its breasts were not inflatable, but filled with something that felt even better than the original…

But still, I knew from the news that the newest sex dolls can walk, talk, perform a lot of sexual feats, learn simple things, do house work. This was just an inflatable one. And already unpacked. Nobody would give more than a hundred for it, and that couldn’t solve my problems.

I still decided to be grateful to the sex shop girl for it. The life is like the mountain climbing. When someone is in need of help, every true mountaineer helps with what they can. Even if it is not the right thing, it gives some moral support, helps the stranded go on longer and last until the needed help arrives.

I turned the screen on and spent several more hours seeking job offers, only to see the usual lack of. The best I could find was a mountain guide for tourists in Cambodia, and that required excellent knowledge of Khmer. I still called them – the requirement was non-negotiable, and they would examine the candidates for it.

It was already getting dark outside. Soon Salazzo’s would close. I sighed and went to help them with the cleaning.

* * *

Couple of hours later I was back home, with a small pot with chicken soup, some bread and an almost full bottle of grappa, left over by some client. I don’t drink at all, alcohol is a no-no for mountain rescuers, but this evening was either drink or jump from the roof. Luckily Salazzo noticed my mood and gave me the bottle… I started some movie on the screen, after a bit of thinking put the food in the kitchen fridge and took to the bottle without eating. After a shock like today’s, the alcohol probably would not affect me easily.

Before the movie was halfway through, I was more than halfway through the bottle, but it had no effect on me at all. Still, the movie was not bad, despite being old. I love Jackie Chan. Or maybe that was not him. A black guy, motormouth talker. Was about to kill that drug dealer, but the idiots with the ads interrupted him. Had him advertise some coffee instead.

I screamed at him to drop the coffee and go kill that baddie. He only turned into Aunt Lauretta, the old gossip from the first floor. She came out of the screen, sat on my table and continued to explain how good that coffee is. Liar! I have tried it at Salazzo’s, it is thin and had a bad aftertaste!… I asked her very politely to turn back into Jackie Chan, but she only dissolved into the air. Well, not bad too.

Tried to watch the movie again. The screen was having problems, the image on it was twisting and doubling. Well, it was almost ten years old already. Must find a way to fix it, or won’t be able to seek a job. Or leave it this way, it would show double amount of job offers. I’m a genius!

Tried to get up and dance, despite that the room was twisting and shaking too, and it was hard to keep balance. After all, the apartment is even older than ten years, likely has problems too. However, the sight of Sandra standing on the door of the room stopped me right there. I slipped off my clothes and invited her to get in the bed, but she wouldn’t listen. Just stood there and droned that I am a total loser and nerd. That I was good only for climbing rocks, and understood nothing in people and even less in women. That, if she hadn’t decided to woo me, I would never find a girlfriend. That it was her biggest mistake, to find a loser who can’t make a penny. That I was good for nothing, and never will be anything… Luckily she wasn’t doubled, right now one of her was already too much for me.

I kept silent for some time, but finally went ballistic. Told her that she already said all that. Two years ago, when she left me. And that she is wrong, I have a girlfriend, look there on the bed. Beautiful like you can’t imagine. Will become even more beautiful when I blow her up. Wanna see?

The distance between the chair and the bed was a hard terrain. However, I’m a certified rock climber, took it in less than ten minutes. There was some crawling, but sometimes it is only prudent, we climbers know it… Tried to blow the doll up – no go! It was badly made, the opening for blowing up was a slit on the back all the way from the top of head to the butt. Probably that was why that goth girl gave it to me for free.

Tried to think of a way around it. Sandra continued to drone what a loser I am, messing with my thinking. Suddenly, a great idea came to me – to hide from her instead. Inside the sexdoll, that’s the only place here she doesn’t know. I told you I am a genius!

It took a lot of wrangling, the arms and the legs of the doll constantly changed places and numbers, but finally I managed to push myself inside it. Sandra however started repeating that I must press simultaneously the buttons “Action” and “Up Arrow” on the remote. In English. Then, probably the same, in German and French. Wonder when she learned German and French. English she knew. And always was good at repeating endlessly. Started seeking that remote, to finally shut her up. Wasn’t easy, the sexdoll obstructed my movements. Finally found it in the box of the doll. Have no idea how it got there, and why. Pressed the buttons. Sandra started telling me to relax, but I suddenly felt too tired to pay her any attention. Dropped on the bed like dead. At some moment, she stopped speaking. When I looked at the door, she was gone.

Part 2

My head was about to burst. The pain was bad, and the thirst was worse than when I climbed Petit Dru’s southern wall without water. Had to drink… A lot…

I rose up somehow from the bed and started towards the bathroom, it was closer than the kitchen. Moving was a hell, and not only because of the throbbing head. My entire body felt misplaced, and I had the feeling that some slings are attached to my legs and arms, pulling them and changing my movements. Oh, God. Must warn Salazzo, this grappa is really bad, he shouldn’t stock it anymore. Never had a hangover before, this was the first time I ever got drunk. But it couldn’t be that bad, or nobody would ever get drunk for a second time…

I pulled myself inside the bathroom and lunged for the tap. Opened it and started sucking the water directly from it. How good the cold water felt!…

I don’t know how much time I spent drinking, but finally the throbbing subsided a bit and my head felt clearer. Drinking alcohol was a really, really, really bad mistake. Better jump from the roof than try that, I thought. What a lesson. I didn’t want to even think how I look now… Still, I lifted my head and looked in the mirror.

A girl looked at me from it. A real beauty. Her face reminded me of something…

Two big jumps, and I was back in the room, at the table. There should have been activated carbon pills in the drawer. Opened it, took the box out – empty! Shit! That grappa is laced with something really bad. Now, what? Drink more water?… And, by the way, what the girl in the mirror reminded me? That sexdoll? Where it was?… It wasn’t on the bed… nor in its box… nor under the table…

Oh…!

I felt blushing when I remembered what I had done before going to sleep. Good that nobody had seen it, or I would die from embarrassment.

I tried to pull the sexdoll off me. Strange – touching my head and face felt like there was nothing over them. Same about my shoulders – it felt like I was touching my own bare skin. And I couldn’t find by touch the cut along the back, despite probing the place again and again… Finally, I went back to the bathroom and looked at my back in the mirror.

There was no cut. Only a smooth, soft, perfect skin.

I felt panic slowly raising. Clenched my teeth and tried to fight it. The panic is the worst enemy in the mountain. You give in to it, and the next moment you are falling in the abyss. Calm down. Don’t move, calm down. Don’t move, calm down. Calm down. Whatever it is, it can wait. First calm down…

Okay. Let’s start somewhere… What else did I do that evening, after putting that sexdoll on? There was some remote, not my TV’s…

I went back to the room. There it was, on the table. Looking very much like a Euro-standard universal remote… After a second of thinking, I waved it towards the screen. The screen lit, and lines started appearing on it:

RhineGoldAussehensAnderung GmbH

Product RGAA-17

TG M2F Bodysuit

… What?! That is not a sexdoll, but… bodysuit? Like, a second skin or something?

Welcome to our newest product!

With our RGAA series, you are able to change your appearance towards anything you desire. The different model numbers have different basic appearances. For a package that would allow a model to emulate the appearance and the function of another model, please visit our online shop.

So, that is why I was able to see, despite being inside the sexdoll, that is, the bodysuit… Whatever, how to get it off me? Is there a Contents?

There was. Under the section “Usage” I saw a chapter titled “Putting it on an off”. Go there…

Press simultaneously the buttons “Action” and “Arrow Down”. As with putting it on, the bodysuit will need 8 hours to reverse the adaptation of your body towards it. During that time, it will ease you into sleep. For a package that shortens this time to 1 minute and does not require sleeping, please visit our online shop.

Eight hours?! Shit…

Suddenly I fell the call of the nature. Or rather its scream. All the water I had drank insisted on coming out, right now. Probably joined by the grappa.

I stood before the toilet bowl, but my fingers only found down there… well, something that belonged on a girl. I sighed, sat down on the bowl and prayed to all gods and devils that this GmbH have thought about such needs. Or else, eight hours of stewing in your own juice…

They had. It probably even looked as natural as this entire appearance, judging by the sound the stream made.

The relief helped a lot to suppress the panic. It looked worth checking if there is a faster way to take off the suit. It continued to slightly change my movements, but not by much, and I was already getting used to it.

The face that was looking at me from the mirror was very much female, and really beautiful. Thick brown hair with copper glints, falling down to just below my armpits. Small mouth with full rosy lips, the dream of every red-blooded man. And big, vivid green eyes. I had seen so beautiful a face very rarely, and never in the real life. There was something both cute and angelic about it. It was hard to believe that it can be both so beautiful and at the same time realistic.

The figure below that face was similarly perfect. Logically I knew that it must have my shoulders, too wide for a girl, but they somehow appeared narrow enough to make the impression of fit instead of masculine. And under these shoulders were the most beautiful breasts I had ever seen, even on the Net – perfectly formed and perky. Couldn’t turn my eyes away from them for some time.

I tried to make some faces. The face in the mirror moved completely naturally, reflecting the slightest change of my own. It looked so cute that I couldn’t help but smiled – and it beamed so warmly that my heart was about to melt. God, I would give anything to have such a girlfriend. Just to be around her… instead of her being around me. Alas, I couldn’t imagine something less likely.

My male confidence however was taking a hit. After a second of thinking, I decided to pretend being cynical. Looked straight into the eyes in the mirror and said:

“Girlie, I’d love to—”

That came out in a sweet and clear soprano, perfectly fitting the face in the mirror!

Next moment, I was in the kitchen, pulling a knife out of a drawer. I had to take this thing off me, now! After a second of thought, I grabbed a breast and tried to cut it with the knife. The blade however just slid on it, as if I was trying its blunt edge. Moreover, I sensed on my chest something like the blunt edge of a knife sliding on it. Trying to stick the knife in it also yielded no result, despite that I persisted until the knife broke. All I felt was a slight poking at my chest, like with a blunt pencil.

Calm down. Don’t act, calm down…

I returned in the room and sat down before the screen. Whatever this bodysuit does, it doesn’t kill me. Let’s read at least the common section of its manual, it might give some hints on finding a faster way to take it off.

* * *

The manual turned out to be huge. Reading the introduction and browsing through some of the other parts took nearly two hours. However, I learned a lot about it.

The bodysuit was made from trillions of nanoelements, many kinds of, each kind doing different things. They could be programmed to assemble to make more complex things, giving the bodysuit nearly unlimited abilities. The number of elements was intended to last over 100 years of normal usage, and if too many were lost due to extreme wear, they could be replenished by just buying more from the company.

The manual said that it is next to impossible to pierce or cut the bodysuit: even an industrial chainsaw would just slide over it, and it would stop anything sharp pushed in even by a tank. Indenting or flexing it in a way untypical for the human body was equally hard: an elephant could step on it without squashing the wearer, and the three strongest men in existence together couldn’t twist its arm far enough to break that of the wearer. A point-blank shot from a big-caliber rifle would likely cause to the wearer no more than a bruise, and any mark on the suit would disappear in a fraction of a second. It was unaffected by and impenetrable for all kinds of corrosive liquids. Protected against electricity – even a lightning bolt would just go over its surface. For several seconds could protect the wearer even against the flame of an oxy-acetylene torch, or the cold of liquid air… The skin of Superman.

Well, of Supergirl.

There were “packages” – options that could be bought from the company online shop. Pay for it, and the suit downloads and activates it. I browsed the shop – the sex-related packages only were almost two thousands, and there were many other types. The prices however were steep. The cheapest package I found allowed changing the color of the eyes – 15,000 Euro. The package for taking the suit on and off in a minute costed 60,000 Euro. There was a package that could increase the strength threefold, “with sufficient energy reserve” whatever that meant – 150,000 Euro. The same was the cost for a package that allowed lasting without access to air for days. Again, the same cost for another one allowing lasting without access to food and water for months…

My version of the bodysuit had some options on by default. The pulling of the arms and legs while moving them, which I believed to be bad flexibility, turned out to be a package that makes the movements of the wearer appear feminine. More feminine than even those of most women, making most people around subconsciously unable to believe that the wearer is not female. Another package moved the voice into the female range, and made it good for singing. Yet another was modifying the body to appear more feminine – squeezed the shoulders, hands, feet and some other parts, expanded the butt, compressed the spine to make the wearer a couple of centimeters shorter. Happily, all these were reversed while taking it off. The same package also cared for the squeezed parts to be adequately supplied with blood. There was also one that made possible having sex as a woman. (I didn’t want to read the description where that vagina actually passes, and how the package adapts the feelings to make them compatible with the male body and nervous system.) The default options could be switched off only if you buy the package for them.

That version also had discount on over 300 packages. They however turned out to be all stuff for women. Emulating some mind-boggling number of kinds of lipstick – 40,000. Same with make-up – 60,000. Nail varnish – 25,000… Beyond the first dozen, I had no clue what most of the things even were.

The bodysuit maintained the body’s perfect hygiene and could be worn continuously for decades without any negative effects. It transported the sweat to its surface, cleaning it en route from any odor (“for a package that would allow your sweat to contain a fragrance of your choice, please visit our online shop”). Dissolved the beard and the body hair and used, together with the shed skin cells, it to make its hair (“for a package that will allow you to regulate that, please visit our online shop”). Automatically cured some skin conditions – boils etc (“for a package that treats almost any skin condition in existence, please visit our online shop”)…

I was already planning to sell the suit for a lot of money, when a note attracted my attention:

The bodysuit remembers its first wearer, and refuses to activate for anyone else. Thus, it protects you against theft, being useless for anyone but its owner.

I reclined on the chair, deep in thoughts.

So, that probably was not a free demo, but the actual business model of this GmbH. Giving all these suits for free, and then selling “packages” for them. And everyone would find in their catalog something they would love. I saw there an option that could protect the wearer from extreme cold and heat (75,000 Euro), and another that allowed sticking to walls, ceiling and overhanging rocks (90,000 Euro). I would love to spend a year on bread and water only to get any of those. If I didn’t have to use them in the appearance of an attractive girl, that is. Nearly everyone would give their last pennies to have some super-ability, which is technically just programming, costs to the company nothing beyond some initial investment…

This GmbH was probably going to become the next Ford or Microsoft. And the girl I met yesterday would probably in a couple of years be millionaire, just from distributing their products… Or not. She had to give the suits for free, or for a minimal payment, and the package sales went through the Net, circumventing her… Little wonder that she was used to considering herself at a disadvantage.

Okay, I learned enough. Let’s now take that thing off.

I pressed the buttons. Initially, there was no difference. Then I felt sleepiness taking over me. Okay, if I have to wait eight hours, I might get some rest meanwhile…

* * *

The rays of the evening sun were falling through the window. I tried to sit in the bed and felt the sexdoll… that is, the bodysuit around me. Threw it off myself as if it was burning.

So, that was what the girl from the sex shop meant. This thing could make a man look like a woman. From the memory of what I saw in the mirror – a completely believable one. Beautiful like an angel… And the sex shop girl had meant that with it, I could pretend to be a woman and get that job.

But what man would masquerade as a woman, even in a situation as dire as mine?

Wait. Did she meant that men simply don’t dare it? Said that they are cowards? No way. Women get the life so much easier than men, everybody knows it. Even in the mountain, when some situation arises, you save women first. Men – later, they are expendable. Not privileged, as the goth girl believed…

I walked back and forth in the room like a caged wolf. After a few hours without being able to reach a decision, I even drank the remaining few swallows of grappa, despite the fear of a hangover… Soon after that, the decision finally came.

If women managed to live as women, a man must be able to do it easily. Enough to show that goth warrior for gender equality the truth.

And the mountaineers don’t fear the challenges. They overcome them!

Part 3

I moved uncomfortably in the bed. Whatever the decisions, having put that bodysuit on again made me feel embarrassed like hell. Hadn’t I done it the previous evening, I probably wouldn’t dare to do it now.

Okay. If I will be trying again to secure a job in that company, let’s look up the name of its boss. See why I feel I have seen it before.

The first thing the Net search returned was a Wikipedia article. Acad. Prof. Sergio Montafun, Honorary Chairman of the European Statisticians Society. Laureate of two World Statistics Excellence Awards, the equivalent of Nobel for statisticians. Inventor of seven new methods in Bayesian and multi-group statistics, co-author of more than a dozen others. One of the creators of the experimental statistics. Author of over 10 university textbooks on statistics, used all around the world – I probably had studied by some of these. Considered to be the greatest statistician alive and one of the all-time greatest. 76 years old… So, that is how he manages to get orders from the European Commission. He was the living God of statistics.

Wow! I was going to work for him!

And I was going to lie to him. Shame…

But I had to stay out of prison. From the rumors I had heard about the debt collection lawyers, I didn’t doubt that if they learned about the bodysuit, they would try to put me in the prison in it, and without the remote to prevent me from taking it off. As a reward for their pals the violent mafiosi enforcers there…

Let’s go! A human being is not just an appearance – he needs documents. She, that is. Can I do something about that?

As a start, I photographed myself – that is, the suit – on the backdrop of the white bathroom wall, and also my statistics diploma. Downloaded on the screen a good free graphics program from the Net and started painstakingly replacing my photo and name in the diploma image. The digital copy studio a block away sometimes dropped into the mailboxes around vouchers for three free copies or prints, and I had a couple of these – would print my forgery and present it as a photocopy.

Alexandra looked a good name to me – I could say that I am called Alex, and avoid being stuck with some overly feminine name. Surname… Manzoni? It was only just to honor Mom’s memory, by using her maiden family. Entered a birthdate three years after mine – the bodysuit looked about 17-18 years old, but so young a girl couldn’t have majored with a Master’s degree. She had to be 21 at least. Well, there are youthful-looking people, right?… After several hours of work, the forgery looked pretty convincing.

Now, the hardest part. If Massimo wasn’t at work, or if he would get cold feet, everything would fail… I switched my phone off, glued a piece of duct tape over the screen’s cam, turned the mic off and sent a chat nudge to him. In a few seconds came a reply:

> why on chat?

< sorry, my phone is on repairs, and my cam and mic are busted… may I ask for a favor?

> where we were two months ago together?

< west face of Cervino, the Long Crack route… checking if that is really me?

> yeah… if the favors the 100 meters rope, wait for at least two weeks

> gave it yesterday to Luigi Bosso, hes gonna climb Eiger’s south face in Sunday

> and next Im going to climb Alpspitze’s north face next week

< no… my GF has great job offer, but is born out of EU, just moving here

< still waiting for her registration and social security to come out

< that can take months, you know the bureaucracy, and the job will sail away

< you are an admin with the citizens DB, right? can you insert her temporarily there?

> youre MAD! They catch me, I be fired on the spot, maybe even sued!

> everyone in the country and EU uses our DB – police, taxmen… no way!

I clenched my teeth and, burning with shame, went for the nuclear option:

< man, remember when you slipped under Monte Rosa?

< I held you then, risked my life for you, did not say no way

< are you there for me when I am in need?

After a bit of silence Massimo wrote back:

> okay, but youll owe me a big dinner, I gave you one then

< sure!

> is the GF beautiful? :) guess so, if you are so hooked

I sadly thought about the reflection in the mirror.

< yeah… supermodel plus level, pops your eyes out

> give me her name, birthdate, birthplace

> and her phone, if youre dumb enough ;)

> when the clerks see shes there, theyll think another dep inserted her already

> happens often, nobodys gonna pay attention, God bless Italian sloppiness

In ten minutes, Alexandra became a legal country citizen. Now, I could have documents in her name, receive a salary etc.… But that could wait.

I dialed the company. Almost immediately there was the voice of the woman in their lobby:

“Montafun Statistics, how I can help you?”

“Umm… A friend of mine told me that you offer a job for statistician. Is it still available?”

“Yes, Miss. Could you come for an interview tomorrow? Say, 10 o’clock? Bring your resume and diploma on paper, our boss prefers them this way. Your name, please?”

“Alexandra Manzoni. But everyone calls me—”

“Thank you, Ms. Manzoni. I hope to see you tomorrow.”

* * *

“Yoooo-hoooo!!!”

I jumped from the chair and started dancing some tribal dance. Everything was going just perfectly!

Then suddenly a thought shot through my head. What if someone was spying on random windows? And watched now a prime beauty dancing naked…

Next moment, I was back in the chair, legs closed, hands over my… bodysuit’s nether parts. Then guessed to move one of them over the breasts. Had to put on something, just for the case some wacko is watching.

And had to wear something for the interview, too. They might recognize my suit, and besides it, I had only mountaineering clothes. Okay, women also wore these, I had seen them countless times.

When I tried to get into them, another surprise expected me. The pants were just too narrow for the bodysuit, by the tiniest bit, but I couldn’t get into them. The shirt and the jacket suddenly had become a size or two big. And the shoes were at least two sizes big, my feet were skiing inside them. The bodysuit feet, that is. Shit!…

There was something else, too. Women could wear whatever they wanted, but still… If men have to wear a suit for a job interview, women probably also had to be dressed officially. But what was the official female garb?

After some hesitation, I took a nylon trash bag out of the wardrobe. Sandra didn’t want to live with me in so small a place, but often spent the night here, and kept here a set of work clothes, to go straight to work in the morning. When we parted, she forgot to take them. I had put them in a trash bag, but never carried it to the bins. Secretly hoped first that she will return, and then simply forgot about them.

In there was a black skirt, a white blouse, a nylon package with three pairs of black tights, and a pair of shoes. If these were good enough for working as a secretary, they should be good enough for a job interview too. No panties or bra – happily! I did not feel ready to put on such things.

The blouse fit me well, except for being a bit tight in the chest – the breasts of the bodysuit weren’t huge, but were bigger than Sandra’s. The skirt was down to about mid-thigh and tight, and made walking noticeably harder. Why the hell women wear so inconvenient clothes? Why they inflict that on themselves? I could never understand it. Except by believing that they aren’t normal. That they suffer from a craziness caused by having two X chromosomes…

The shoes were the worst part. They fit perfectly by size, but had a six-centimeter stiletto heel. Why the hell women would… No, they definitely couldn’t be normal.

I tried to walk in the shoes. On the second step found myself on the floor, face down. Luckily, the breasts of the bodysuit softened the hit. Hadn’t thought that women have an advantage with that, too… Okay, maybe they hurt if they fall on their breasts, but I didn’t. Hooray!

After an hour of walking in heels I had mastered it enough to not fall and to feel relatively stable. Small strides, careful balance, much like on rocks covered with ice… My feet however were hurting. There are no mountaineers with weak feet, but those shoes weren’t made for walking in them. Any doubt that I might have that women are crazy had evaporated.

I was about to declare Alexandra ready for the interview, when my eyes stopped on the package with the tights. Sandra never went to work without these – probably they had to go with the other clothes.

Took a pair out of the package and put them on. Turned out, they had a lot of snags. How that was possible? They were new… And were twisted, which looked rather ugly. I tried to set them straight – that ran more snags. What a flimsy thing! Women are…

After a bit of thinking, I turned the screen on and started browsing through rom-coms. Soon found a scene where a woman was putting tights on. Rolling them all up in hands and then inserting her leg, handling them gently enough to not run snags. I took off the tights that were already in tatters and tried to put on another pair in this way, very carefully… Did it – there were neither snags nor twists!

What else did that woman in the movie, while preparing for a meeting? Make-up – I neither had any, nor was going to put any on even if the hell freezes over. Perfume too. Hair brushing – I didn’t even have a brush, and the hair of the bodysuit looked great without any of that.

Without a single penny, I would have to walk to Montafun’s office. In those heels. For a package that makes walking and dancing in heels easy, please visit the company online shop. Only 30,000… Okay, I should be able to walk an hour and a half in them, no matter what.

Now, let’s take the damned suit off… Ooops! 8 hours for taking it off, 8 more for putting it on – I didn’t had that time!… Neither I would have it during the working days, would be able to be myself only during the weekends!

I was really pissed off, but had to acknowledge – that still was better than the prison. Even if not by much.

* * *

The morning procedure was not exactly my usual one. For a start, I remembered that I won’t need shaving only after covering the chin of the bodysuit with cream. Taking shower in it brought another surprise – washing the body parts that didn’t belonged to me felt too good both to my hands and… well, to these parts. To my utter embarrassment, I felt like really having them, and touching them was way more pleasant than I expected. It was an effort to finish that shower… But combing the hair of the bodysuit turned out very easily – I had kept it from getting wet, knowing that it won’t dry quickly, and I didn’t have a hair dryer. Just shaking it once turned out enough for it to fall in a way as neat as if it was combed by a hairdresser.

At 8:00, the reflection in the mirror looked good to me. I checked it once again – blouse, skirt, damned tights, triple damned heels. Time to go!

The clicks of the heels on the floor rang through the silent staircase like gunshots. I didn’t knew if the bodysuit was blushing, but I felt I was. Luckily, I met nobody. Even Aunt Lauretta didn’t show up. Either had died, or went to buy some food. There was no other way she would miss the opportunity to try and gossip with someone.

The morning air outside was fresh and cool. I tried whistling, but stopped – even that was coming out girlish! Circumvented carefully gave a bush a wide birth, to keep it away from the tights, and nearly fell – the left heel got caught in a crack in the sidewalk. Oh well, climbers are used to evaluating every step, when on a risky terrain. Just had to watch for cracks too.

On the positive side, the copy center was a pleasure. The boy there made five extra copies, just to pick up the best one. And forgot to take the voucher. The only downside was where his eyes were all the time. I started understanding why some girls are grumpy about men watching their breasts.

I made a wide arc around a kid who was waving carelessly around a small flag on a wooden stick, and get out on the street. Twenty paces later there was a shrilling wolf whistle. Out of habit, I glanced around to see where the beauty is, and saw several road workers, all staring at me. Stopping myself from beating their teeth out right there took an immense effort. Couldn’t afford to ruin a job chance for which I had accepted to masquerade as a woman!…

Five minutes before 10 o’clock I was standing in front of the office building. My feet hurt like hell and my temper was just short of exploding. Keep under control, I thought in the elevator. Keep on top of it. I need this job. Keep calm…

When the woman in the already familiar lobby saw me, one of her brows slightly went up.

“Hello, my name is Alexandra Manzoni—”

“For the interview? Just a moment.” She picked up an old-fashioned phone handset. “Mr. Montafun, the candidate is here… Yes, right now… Ms. Manzoni, please come with me.”

I followed her, pretending to not know where she was taking me. Just before the leatherette-covered door, she stopped and looked straight into my eyes:

“Mr. Montafun has a mentality that is not found easily anymore. Please don’t abuse that.”

I wonder what that had to mean?! I had no time to think – she ushered me inside.

“Hello, Ms. Manzoni. I am Sergio Montafun. Do you have your resume and diploma on paper, please?”

“Yes, Mr. Montafun.”

He took them and started scrutinizing them in the way I already knew.

“You said to my secretary that some colleague told you about the job?”

“Yes. His name is Damiano. He was a few years ahead of me in the university. Told me that he got an excellent impression of you…”

“Mine about him is excellent too. Pity that I wasn’t at liberty to offer him a job… You graduated just a couple of months ago, with excellent grades? Could you please tell me how many kinds of regression statistics there are, and what is the mathematical difference between them?…”

The exam was even more verbose than the previous one. Finally, he rose up from his chair:

“I am satisfied with your knowledge. However, as a manager of the company, I must ask you something. If you believe that the question is too intrusive, please feel free not to answer, it will not affect your application negatively.”

Yep sure. If it wouldn’t, why ask it in an interview?

“It is okay, Mr. Montafun, you can ask for anything.”

“Do you plan any extended periods of leave during the next year?

“No, Mr. Montafun. I am thoroughly committed to the work.”

His gaze pinned me to the chair:

“Do you plan or expect a pregnancy during that time, for example?”

“Absolutely not!” I smiled, happy to tell the truth for once.

“Are you sure? Situations happen…”

“Um… Currently I don’t plan to be in a situation where I might conceive.” I couldn’t even imagine such a situation, to start with.

“Please accept my sincere apologies for the personal question. I must ensure that the work here is being done, and must consider the possibilities that an employee might be away from work… Fabricia, could you please come here?… I am delighted to present you our newest colleague. Please show her the company. She starts work tomorrow, prepare her documents and give her the address of our tailor. Well, Ms. Manzoni, I hope that you will like our company.”

“Thank you Mr. Montafun, I am sure I will.”

Part 4

“This is my desk. I’m Fabricia Amabile, secretary to The Boss – he insists that all we are just colleagues and hates being called that, but everyone does behind his back. You need anything that involves documents, I’m your angel.”

I still wondered about the woman’s abuse warning. Whatever it was, it looked like I haven’t done it – she appeared sincerely welcoming.

“These two doors are changing rooms, ours is this one. Next to it is the restroom.” She winced. It took me a moment to remember how squeamish women tend to be. “This is the office of the data processing group.” She pointed to the next door. “All women, that’s why we call it The Boudoir. The Boss says we tend to be more punctual and precise than men.” There was pride in her voice. I felt a bit of offense, but carefully kept a neutral face – the damn bodysuit might reflect my expression. She knocked on the door and, without waiting a response, pulled me inside:

“Hello, girls! Meet our new colleague, Alexandra Manzoni.”

The room was about five meters wide and eight long. Three working desks and a couple of cabinets at each of the longer sides. Couple of big pots with plants near the all-wall window at its far side. The two desks closest to the window were free, there were women behind the rest, dressed in identical light blue jackets, white blouses and knee-long skirts, just like Fabrizia. The company uniform, I guessed.

How do women behave when they meet first? Kissing and hugging one another?

“Ms. Manzoni, meet the team lead, Maria Rodolfo.”

“Nice to meet you. Call me Maria.” She was about fifty, a bit younger than Fabricia. Steely gray eyes. And a handshake as firm as man’s. Definitely a no-nonsense woman. Kissing and hugging her would obviously be a mistake, between women or not.

“Or Mommy.” smiled another woman. “She’s the matriarch here.” Everyone giggled. I just nervously smiled. Being alone among women wasn’t my preferred environment, even without this masquerade… I had to be extra careful, to not compromise it before I have even started work!

“Um, it is pleasure to meet you,” I stammered and felt blushing. Hope that the bodysuit didn’t show it.

“What a shy girl,” continued the other woman. Damn that fucking betraying suit! “Don’t be afraid, sweetie, we don’t eat women here, only men. I am Lucrezia Calvano.” She was short, jolly and busty. Look at her eyes only, I reminded myself. “Call me Lu. Data entering and processing, and also proofing and checking.”

“It is pleasure to meet you.” I stammered even more. Was my secret discovered, or that was just a joke? One too raunchy for a woman? Why then the others didn’t shush her?…

“This is Graziella Santomauro,” Fabricia continued behind me. “Going by Grace. Also, a Jack of all trades, like all of us.”

The woman that rose from the desk was at least half a head taller than me. Her face had enough make-up on to paint a wall with, and her neckline was low enough to reveal a lot. If there was something in there to reveal, that is. I again reminded myself to keep my eyes up at her face.

“I’m delighted, dear.” Even to my unused to hints ears that sounded like “May you drown in molten lead, dear.”

“My pleasure.” What had I bungled that badly?! I felt like I was on another planet. A warning about abusing the mentality of the boss, then no-nonsense in a woman and crude sexual jokes from another one, and unprovoked hatred from yet another?! I suddenly felt an urge to run away.

“That is Vincenza Panno, or Vinnie,” Fabricia continued. “Also an excellent specialist, despite being for only six months with us.”

The skirt of Vincenza, unlike the others, fell almost to the ground – and when she rose up and came nearer, I could notice her limping slightly. Probably had a leg problem and covered it with the skirt.

“It is a p-pleasure for me, Ms. Manzoni.”. Her eyes had the look of a scared little animal. All about her screamed “It is not your fault that you are beautiful, it is my fault that I am not.” No make-up or anything. “I do, mmm, mostly d-data entering, and translations of o-orders and tasks.”

“The pleasure is mine.” I smiled and took her small, slightly limp hand.

“Ms. Manzoni sounds a bit too official,” Ms. Rodolfo… Maria… Mommy said. “How do you prefer to be called?”

“Um, my name is Alexandra, but they call me Alex.” I felt blushing again. That bodysuit had me lying in one morning more times than during all of my life before.

“Alex? Isn’t that too masculine for so sweet and shy a girl? Wouldn’t you prefer to be called something nicer? What about Lexie?”

Had she noticed something? Was she checking if I am a man in a disguise?!

“I, um, would love that.” I hurried to assure her and felt my cheeks burning with shame. Damn women!

“Both shy and modest. No such girls anymore. Sweetie, you probably come from the times when the women were real women,” Lucrezia smiled. The burning on my cheeks strengthened – and, judging by the smiles of the women against me, the suit reflected it.

“Come on, girls, she will be working right here, you will have plenty of time to embarrass her,” Fabricia said behind me. “Lexie, may I call you that? Come to see the rest of the company.”

I followed her, feeling strange. I usually never noticed of women more than their appearance. Well, and how fit they are for the trail I had to lead them on in the mountain. Now, I could tell about their characters about as much as about the characters of the men I met. Was the bodysuit affecting my thinking? Or this was due to having to stare at their faces instead of at their breasts?

“This door on the opposite is a storage room. Next to it is the room of Antonio Scalzi, the marketing manager. He is currently in Naples, negotiating with the city administration for some orders.” Her wince was more apparent than ever before. “You already know the next room, it is the office of The Boss and also a meeting room. Between it and The Boudoir is the data analysis and reports team office. Nicknamed The Cave, because all there are men. Again, a preference of The Boss – he believes that men spot patterns better.” Even to my eye, used to rocks rather than humans, it was obvious that she didn’t believe it. Well, I will quickly prove you wrong, Madame Fabricia.

Or would I? Damn the bodysuit…

* * *

“Come in, don’t be afraid.” She again knocked and entered without waiting, towing me in. “Hi all! Meet our new colleague, Alexandra Manzoni. Hope you will behave around her.”

The room was identical to The Boudoir, except for the lack of plants near the window. And that the four men there wore dark blue suits, like The Boss. Oh, and that their eyes, unlike women’s, were scanning me all up and down. I frantically tried to control myself. Damn masquerade! If women had to deal with this all the time…

Next to me, Fabricia tactfully pretended to cough:

“This is Nicola Petruccio, the team lead,” she nodded to the first desk on the right side. Behind him sat a man about fifty, not very fat but definitely unfit for even an easy mountain trail. Big and round nose, short hairy fingers – he looked exactly like the typical office worker that I so often saw going up the mountain to just gaze around and take a zillion of photos.

“Ugh… sorry, Miss… Miss Manzoni! Just Nicola. It is my pleasure to meet you. Should you need something, I would be glad to help you!” He rose and shook energetically my hand.

“I do not doubt that,” smiled Fabricia. “Especially if your wife does not learn about it.”

Everybody chuckled, including Nicola. Either he had a good sense of humor, or that about his wife was a running joke in the company.

“Here is Filippo Mastroianni,” Fabricia continued. “Says he is a relative of that actor of old. Senior data analyst, does report writing too.”

“It is my pleasure, Ms. Manzoni. Just Filippo,” he rose up and bowed slightly. About forty, tall, broad-shouldered and trim at the same time, with a face like a rom-com star, he looked like he could be an actor himself. With a couple of months of exercise, he could be a good mountain walker, maybe even a bit of a climber. His smile was sincere and slightly naive, and his handshake was firm – I immediately liked him. Such people are rarely a trouble in the mountain, despite usually being inexperienced.

“Also known as Casanova,” noted the man at the desk behind him. He managed to earn my immediate dislike. I had seen a smile and a way of looking at the others like his more than a few times. Spoiled boys who come to the mountain just to impress the girls, and who believe that the world is theirs and owes them whatever they whim for. Always demand everything and will never hold if you slip. Never relying on them for anything is life-saving up there.

“I am Antonio Cardinale, data analysis and reprocessing. Pleased to meet you.” He took my hand and squeezed it slightly in a way that instantly revolted me. I had to fight the urge to pull it back. When he released it, I noticed that his shoes looked costly and pretentious. Glanced to Fabricia – if I had read correctly her expression, she shared my opinion on him.

“Everybody calls him Tony. And this is Gabriel Rizzo, aka Gab, also data analysis and reprocessing.”

“Umm, glad to see you, Miss Manzoni.” Like Tony, Gab appeared to be at or about just under thirty, but the similarities ended there. Bony frame, big head with close-cropped hair, thick square glasses. While raising up, he accidentally pushed the phone from his desk on the floor, and hesitated whether to pick it first, or to shake hands with me. I had seen plenty of those, too – nice but clumsy and always distracted boys. Good companions on a mountain trail, will not complain and will carry on while they can, but don’t let them climb rocks, they will always bungle something and put themselves in danger.

“Fabricia, could you please find me the contract with Sicily Health Directorate? It’s urgent,” The Boss suddenly said from the direction of the door, right behind our backs. I almost jumped up – hadn’t heard him approaching.

“Right now, Mr. Montafun. Lexie, could you wait just a moment, please?” Without waiting for an answer, she turned back and the two disappeared from the door opening.

“Back to work, boys! Tomorrow we must submit this report,” called Nicola. The four sets of eyes turned to the desks in front of them, away from my chest. Finally.

I walked quietly towards the window and looked through it, at the skyline outside. Somewhere out there were the Alps. During the weekend I would go there, climb a bit, relax from this madness I had gotten myself into. It all was like a nightmare. I already doubted if this was better than the prison.

Suddenly I heard whispering from behind me:

“… the big lover, eh? Just boasting! Dare to try?…”

I tried to pretend to haven’t heard anything, and stepped back from the window…

… and a hand touched my ass!

My reaction was so fast that I didn’t even have the time to make a fist. The hit was more like a slap, but with all of my strength and weight behind it. The head of Filippo recoiled and he fell backwards.

Fucking fag! I’ll mash you into a pulp, bastard!

I tried to jump over him, but the damned heels slipped and I barely kept my balance. Wide-eyed, Filippo crawled backwards with unbelievable speed, me running after him…

… and at the door bumped into the legs of The Boss. Looked up, straight into his eyes, and froze.

* * *

The silence was complete. I also looked at the face of The Boss, and instantly felt like a marmot before a viper. Even not looking at me, he was really scary. I was used to snowstorms and dangerous trails, but this man’s eyes chilled me to the bone.

“Mastroianni, gather your belongings and wait in front of my office.” His voice had the cold finality of a graveyard bell. “Ms. Manzoni, could you please come with me?”

I followed him into his office, barely keeping myself from stumbling. He offered me a chair next to the table and sat on another.

“Ms. Manzoni, I want to assure you that such a thing has never happened before in this company, and will never happen again. The employment of Mastroianni will be terminated right now, and you will not see him here anymore. Should you wish to sue him for sexual harassment, I would gladly direct the lawyers who service our company to assist you with all of their resources, at company’s expense.”

“I… I never…”

“You can’t imagine how sorry I am for what happened, and the shame it brings not only to the company, but to me personally.” He looked at me apologetically through his glasses. “And… I have the feeling that you have been through some hard times lately. Would you allow me to offer you an accommodation payment? I am sure that your work will more than justify it.” He went to the cabinet and opened it. Inside, there was a safe. He opened that too, took some money out if it, counted them, put them into a letter envelope and handed it to me. “Would five thousand help you?”

“Five thousand?!… I…” That alone would pay my debts! Whatever happened next, even if they unmasked me, I would get a reprieve! “Thank you, Mr. Montafun! You can’t imagine how grateful I am!”

“For nothing. My company prides with being of help to its workers… And now please allow me to free it from a person that does not deserve to be a part of it.”

I hastily exited the office. Filippo Mastroianni was waiting next to the wall, his face pale and sunk. His hand held a semi-opaque plastic bag with some groceries in. I could distinguish a milk bottle with a pacifier and a school textbook for second grade.

He had two children. And now would be left without a job. Because of me.

And I knew very well what is to be jobless today. Hard enough even if you don’t have to provide for a family.

Did he deserved that for just taking a touch? No matter how disgusting that was?

I suddenly remembered Uncle Franco, giving me the first lesson about rock climbing. And what was maybe the longest speech I had ever heard from him:

“When someone hangs on you, you save his life. No matter what. Might be your worst enemy, trying to kill you as you drag him up – you do. Holding is about not what he is, but what you are. Die with him – you die once. Drop him, even to save yourself – you die every moment after, to the end. Real men hold.”

He had defended that with his life. Died, but held.

And this guy now hanged on me…

“Mastroianni, come here!” boomed the voice of The Boss behind me.

“Mr. Montafun!” I interrupted him. “Mr. Montafun, could we speak for a moment first?”

He gave me a long gaze.

“Mastroianni, you shall wait. Ms. Manzoni, please enter.” He waved me in. Closed the door behind my back and looked at me:

“May I be of service with something else?”

“Yes, Mr. Montafun. I… I want to ask you to not fire Mr. Mastroianni.”

“I am sorry, but this is impossible. He disgraced my company in a way that I will not tolerate.”

“Mr. Montafun… Sir… I think that he just made a mistake. One that he will never repeat again.”

“He will not, at least here. He goes out right now.”

“But, Mr. Montafun… I have the feeling that he is not this kind of man, that this is just some misunderstanding… That he is a valuable worker, and the company will lose a lot with him.”

“The company will lose far more if he is not fired. If the slightest hint about this reaches the European Commission, all our contracts will be immediately terminated, and we will never get any new ones. And the living of a dozen of people and their families depends on that. That is why I cannot allow it. In fact, I consider suing him myself, for disgracing my company.”

“But he has a family too, and their living also depends on his job!”

“It’s him who sent them down the drain by harassing you. The decision was his, nobody but himself is to blame for it.”

I held my breath for a moment.

“Mr. Montafun, please… No hint will ever reach anywhere… Nothing happened here today. I will deny anything about it. I swear!… Please, don’t fire him!”

The gaze of The Boss pinned me to the chair for a few seconds.

“If nothing happened here, then I might not have a reason to offer you that accommodation payment. Would you return it in exchange for not firing Mastroianni?”

For a moment, I felt all cold on the inside. Farewell, debt paying. Maybe welcome prison, if the debt collectors sued me before I could get a salary…

Then I handed him the envelope.

He looked at me and made a dismissive gesture:

“Keep it. Consider that question a part of the interview…” He suddenly smiled. “Seems that you really are a good choice, Ms. Manzoni. Statistically speaking, few girls are like you.”

Surely fewer than you expect, dear God of the Statistics…

“Now, you might like to have your measures for a work uniform taken, while I have a talk with Mr. Casanova. If he wants to keep his job, he will have to give some really serious warranties for a flawless behavior from now on.”

… While waiting for the elevator to come, suddenly the memory came to me.

Mastroianni actually hadn’t pawed my ass. I had bumped into his hand while stepping back. And he was going to be fired for that, and for me hitting him after that… Wonder what the goth girl from the mall would say about this. Some male privilege, eh?

So, that was it. One of the other men, probably the spoiled brat, had goaded him into showing that he is a man by pawing me. The guy is obviously naive, still didn’t want to be rude and tried to only pretend doing it – but didn’t expect me to step back.

Turned out, I hadn’t been a hero – only restored the justice. Partially… Still, it was better than nothing. Hadn’t kept Filippo Mastroianni away from any damage, but still didn’t drop him. Didn’t pushed him off the cliff, actually. Still owed him a lot…

I had to be careful with men while in this disguise. In both ways.

Part 5

The tailor’s place was just a couple of blocks away. He was a small, wizened man about eighty. Measured me way more times and in way more places than I imagined are needed. Had he been younger, I would suspect that he just wanted to gawk at a pretty girl from every possible position, and touch her everywhere. Then told me that the uniforms will be ready in three days – turned out, there would be two sets.

I thanked him, wandered out and sat on a bench next to a condo entrance. Carefully, because of the damned tights. My feet hurt as hell, and my pride hurt even more.

Lexie… Wearing a skirt… Being stared at, wolf-whistled at… Thinking about tights, heels, behavior around men, behavior around women, fuck knows how many more things… Living as a woman definitely was not pleasant, or easy.

Oh well. Mountaineers overcome the challenges, right?…

Okay. I got that job. It was time now to pay my debt to the goth girl who helped me in so unusual a way. I probably wouldn’t be able to fool her with the disguise, she would die with laughter when she saw me. However, a real man always pays his debts.

Even if disguised like a woman.

With a lot of effort of the will, I dragged myself to the mall. What I should buy her? Clothes? I did not have any idea what size she was, let alone what she liked. Jewelry? I remembered from the rom-coms that I scanned yesterday that jewelry had to fit the look. What kind went with the goth look? Or with any other look? I had no clue. As well as about the female clothes sizes… Finally, I bought the biggest box of chocolates I could find – would talk to her while giving that, try to learn what else she needed.

I took the escalator down. Usually would consider that a disgrace, but now my feet hurt too much. My memory of the underground floor was good, and easily found the place. However, it was dark and empty. The sign with the shop name had disappeared. Instead of that, there was a “FOR RENT” sign.

Bankrupted yesterday?! What a coincidence…

Whatever, I had to find the girl. Looked around – against the shop door there was a small service corridor. A muscular guy about my age in a guard uniform had leaned against the wall in it, with a half-eaten slice of pizza in a hand.

“Excuse me, mister? There was a sex shop here couple of days ago, I seek the girl that worked in it.”

He looked at me very carefully.

“There wasn’t a sex shop. We don’t have one in the mall. Sorry, Miss.”

“But… The shop girl is a friend of mine! I know she works here!” Suddenly an idea flashed in my mind. I smiled and took a stride towards him. “Could you please help me? I will be grateful!”

His eyes lost focus for a moment, glued to my chest. Before managing to answer however, he froze for a moment and quickly tapped his ear – probably had an earbud phone in it:

“Copy, Sir… Yeah, I can take the evening shift too, but… Didn’t these damn techies fixed finally the security cams?… Ass-handed bastards! Four days already we give double shifts because of them! Will there be some overtime payment?…” He winced. “Yes, Sir, I need this job… Will do it, Sir! I was just asking… Of course, Sir!… Whether someone asked for what?” He glanced at me and his lips twisted into a revengeful smile. “Nobody at all, Sir!… Nobody paid any attention to it!… Of course I’ll report immediately!… Yes, Sir!”

He waited for a moment, probably for the other to close the phone. Then leaned towards me and whispered:

“Come with me, here behind the corner, to not be seen.” He pointed to the corridor that took a turn at the far end.

Already behind the corner, I suddenly realized that this might have been a bad idea. However, the guard didn’t assault me:

“Yesterday morning there came some folks. Suits and ties, but had the air of special forces. My boss and the mall boss were with them, shitting pants at every word of those. Took away everything from the sex shop. The boss ordered us, if anyone asks for the shop, tell them there never was one, and immediately report to him and describe them, before they could leave the mall. Hell, I will, to that cheap-ass!” He spat. “Just don’t tell anybody I told you.”

I felt cold creeping along my back. Special forces? Mafiosi? Intelligence?… What that damned bodysuit had gotten me into?!… And what happened to the girl?

“Of course I won’t!… Did they arrested the girl that worked there?” I forced myself into an even wider smile.

“Wasn’t here yesterday. Some other girl came. The creeps grabbed her as she was unlocking the shop. Asked her a lot of stuff. I overheard that she’s a roommate of the shop girl, who was ill and asked her to fill in for the day. They threatened her a bit, then two of them went with her somewhere… If I hear anything about her, I promise to tell you. If you give me your phone, will call immediately.”

I was just about to give him my phone, when I realized that he actually wants to hit on me. Or to pass it to his boss, if he gets some payment for that.

“Um, there is no need… I will find her somehow… Thank you very much! Have a nice day!”

“If you reconsider, you’ll find me here. Ask for Silvio. Maybe we can get a dinner somewhere, I make pretty good money—”

“I will think about it. Thank you again…”

I bolted out of the mall like if all mafiosi in Italy were after me. Or worse – a properly seduced and muscular guard…

* * *

I kicked the damned heels off and dropped on the bed like a sack with potatoes. My pride was not just hurt – it was beaten into the ground.

On the road back, I was aware all the time how men watched me. In the subway some tried to stand next to me and to grab a feel. I constantly fought the urge to beat them on the spot, despite the disadvantage of the heels and the skirt. Still not having documents as Alexandra would however get me in a trouble, so I had to just hide behind the box with the chocolate, burning with shame.

And women have to cope with this every day. For all of their lives. And, unlike me, they can’t beat most men. Poor them…

But that could wait. Everything but one thing – to somehow understand what the bodysuit had gotten me into. Special services or big mafiosi closing a sex shop?! That was a complete lunacy…

Wait! There was something in the bodysuit manual, in the introduction… I grabbed the remote, but suddenly felt the same feeling as when I was just about to step on a treacherous rock. Sat on the bed and squeezed my temples… Yes, I remembered it well.

The bodysuit is based on a technology developed for the needs of the military intelligence, and retains many of the characteristics of its original design. It protects the wearer from most types of attack, including hits, cuts and stabs…

That was it. Such a thing not only could disguise the wearer to a degree most people consider impossible. It also protected at par with a good military armor, without being noticeable. Could allow the wearer to be several times stronger, endure cold and heat, last days without air… It was a complete game changer in intelligence, and not only there – I had watched enough movies to understand that well. Probably that GmbH had stolen somehow the technology, adopted it where it wouldn’t be looked for – or so they thought – and naively believed that they will not be caught until they make enough money to buy their way out of it…

And left some people stranded in this situation. Me, the sex shop girl… I did not have any clue how I could find her. Probably yesterday evening she already had been beyond anyone’s help. They probably had her roommate lead them to her, and… I thought for some time, but could find absolutely no idea how to help her, or even find any trace leading to her.

The good thing was, creating such a technology was clearly beyond the mafiosi. An intelligence could do it for sure – but I knew from the movies that these prefer to keep a low profile, wouldn’t kill someone without a need. The goth girl just distributed it, probably for pennies or even for free, as a part of a package with some minor sex stuff. Probably never even tried it or read the manual – for her it likely was just a weird sex clothing. She couldn’t be a man who poses as a woman – her frustration about the men being privileged was too strong… They would hopefully just threaten her to keep silent and let her go. Making her disappear risked raising more suspicions.

Was I in danger? Probably not. From what I heard in the mall, the security cameras hadn’t worked for the last four days. Even if the girl gave them my description, there are thousands of young red-haired men in Milan. Good luck finding among them one that secretly has this bodysuit. Especially if he looks now very unlike a red-haired man…

Did they had ways to track such a bodysuit? If I bought anything from the company online shop, or even only if opened its page – probably right this moment, but what if I didn’t? If the suit was easy to track and recognize, the enemies of the intelligence that developed it would easily detect it, it would not be of much use. And if they still had a way for that, I could do nothing against it. When you can do nothing about something, don’t live on it, move on.

I looked at the envelope still in my hand. Had to pay my debts. And, judging by the hint of The Boss, I – Alexandra, that is – needed better clothes.

And shoes without heels!

* * *

The guys from the nearest bank branch turned out great at arranging utilities payments by debtors. Probably did that often. And were really nice – advised me how to complete the needed form, so that I could pay only half of the sum at first, but the debt collectors could not touch me for at least three more months. Then one of them even completed it for me. I tried to not think about what was behind that helpfulness. Even the relief from having postponed the prison threat for a while couldn’t improve my mood. I had agreed to masquerade as a girl for months, with only weekend breaks. And I had to tell every day a mountain of lies. Some man I was…

There was a big store for clothes a couple of blocks from the bank. I entered it and started examining the jeans. I’d probably need to check which size I need now…

“Are you selecting a present, Miss?” A attendant had approached. Her name tag said “Lucia”.

Present?

“Actually no… I was just browsing through… Came actually to buy clothes for myself.”

“Be welcome to the lady’s section, then.”

Oh!… I walked after her, to the half of the shop I had never been before.

“Would you allow me to suggest you this style? Pre-washed and pre-torn on the knees, and above them. They are into fashion again now among the girls your age.”

“Uuuh, no, thank you. I’d like something, umm… Somewhat unisex style? More similar to the men jeans, you know?” I felt like walking on thin ice. If she guesses…

“Try these. See the pink lace here, imitating men’s back pockets?”

“Um, actually I didn’t mean that. I mean, something less lacy… A bit conservative, so to say…” I was out of guesses how to say it. And… what I was expecting a seller to offer to an apparently teenage girl? “You see, I am actually 21 and will be wearing these to work…”

“On, I see. What about these? I think your size is this. Would you like to try them? The changing room is right there.”

The jeans appeared normal, until I put them on. They were only reaching down to a hand’s width above the ankle. Wolf-whistle at me as much as you like, I’d love it… I knew I had seen women with normal length jeans, but only now I noticed that I don’t remember seeing girls about twenty with any.

Apparently, it would take new lies… I put the damned skirt back on and came out of the changing room.

“Lucia… You see, I ran away from my former boyfriend. Have some money, but only the clothes on me. Need to buy everything I might need. And would prefer more conservative clothes—”

Her eyes widened.

“Oh, I understand now! There is no need to be ashamed of that, I have been abused myself. Of course I’ll help you… Between us, there are cheaper stores nearby, but I will do my best. Do I get correctly that you aren’t interested in boys right now?”

“Absolutely!” How good it is to tell the truth, for once! Especially after I had turned out better at lying than I expected…

“What kind of job is yours, customer facing? Or, do you have young male bosses?”

“No. A data processing company, no contact with customers. The boss is over 70—”

“Got it. You will need then a couple of those jeans here as a start, they are on a discount now and are good quality. What is your size?”

“Ummm, I have never been good with sizes, and haven’t slept for several days already, so my head is a mess…”

“No need to be embarrassed about it, dear, I understand you very well. Poor you… You appear to be unisize 40 – if that is wrong, you can replace the jeans within two weeks. Let me take a bag for the purchases… Now, you will need also some blouses…”

In the underwear section, we had to add a second bag. I felt mortified by the idea of wearing female underwear, despite that it would be the only one that fits the bodysuit. Luckily, Lucia didn’t pay attention to me. Even more luckily, she offered me only a somewhat less sexy underwear, plain white and almost without lace.

The batch was completed by a light coat, a purse with long handles (“convenient for wearing on your shoulder”), and three different kinds of shoes – Oxfords, running shoes and a pair with heels, on the insistence of Lucia. I agreed to take them to avoid evoking suspicion, but decided to never wear them.

The whole costed nearly a thousand and a half – much more than I was used to. But less than I feared, having watched the prices on the shelves… Lucia did miracles, offering me the best discounts, picking clothes that “went together” and “can be combined well”, whatever that had to mean… And she refused to take a bill of twenty as a tip, insisting that I will need it now more.

Ashamed and embarrassed beyond anything I imagined to be possible, I walked on the street with a bag in each hand. And a thought was running through my head.

Apparently some women were human. Well, maybe still crazy about clothes and shoes, despite that theirs cost more than the men’s – but as decent and helping to someone in need as a mountaineer. I had been too quick to judge all women today.

* * *

“Can I help you, Miss?” The floor sweeper was about sixty, probably Romany, and all smile. The kind of woman that somehow always makes your day sunnier when you meet her.

“Um, I am new here, have to start work today.”

“Oh, you are a bit early, it is still a quarter to nine. Don’t worry, they will come in a moment…”

I sat on a chair in the lobby, trying to lighten up my mood for the workday. And to somehow not be caught. Impersonating a woman turned out hard.

Even in, well, that sense. After waking up (and again catching myself smearing shaving cream on my, that is, the bodysuit’s face), I had decided to try the female underwear. Had seen more than once women going together to the restroom – wouldn’t dare to risk being seen not wearing underwear. The rom-com movies showed clearly what kind of women do that, and when.

Compared to putting tights on, the panties turned out no-brainer, even if a bit tight. Checking the result in the mirror however had an unexpected, if predictable effect. The surprise from what I was seeing was not so overwhelming anymore, and the girl there looked in white panties even sexier than naked. I immediately got a raging arousal, probably on top of the morning wood. It was impossible to see, but I felt it as strongly as ever. The only change in the mirror was that the nipples of the bodysuit erected and hardened – and the sight made my arousal even stronger. Even the embarrassment from feeling like my own nipples did that couldn’t soften it.

I tried to find how to… well, use the usual way for relieving the arousal. No success at all – couldn’t feel touching myself there, no matter how I pressed and where I probed. Moreover, I was initially convinced that things cannot become any worse, but the sight of what the girl in the mirror was doing with herself quickly proved me wrong. On top of all, the more desperately I tried, the more frantically she… well, made a performance that made any porn I had seen look modest.

I bolted out of the bathroom and hastily searched the Net about how women solve this problem. Found a lot of links to videos showing how women masturbate, in both “classic” and “inventive” ways. Often using toys I had only heard of, or even hadn’t suspected their existence. I remembered that the bodysuit manual said that sex in it feels even better than without it. Still, despite almost dying with need, I couldn’t force myself to do it this way. Just… couldn’t. My male pride refused to budge, even in such a need.

When I put a blouse on, the nipples of the bodysuit almost poked through it. Knowing when they harden, I guessed that I should better hide them. Putting a bra on was the only option. Luckily, I remembered from the rom-coms watched yesterday how women do that – and decided to not do it in front of the mirror.

The sexual tension I felt while walking to the subway station was probably the strongest in my life. In addition, I had the impression that the bodysuit rotated my ass like a windmill, and that everyone around was drooling at me… Well, being rabid at the entire world at least calmed the sexual tension down somewhat. Or else I would not be able to work during my first workday.

“Lexie? Good to see you. Eager to work?” The voice of Fabricia snapped me out of the bad memories.

“Yes, of course!” I immediately reacted. “It is so hard to find a job as a statistician, and the company appears good…”

“Hope you still think so after the yesterday’s accident. Thanks to your plea Filippo is still at work, but got the harshest ultimatum about behavior I have ever seen. You can be sure that he will never dare to harass you again.”

“I am. He looks a nice man, it just that… there was some misunderstanding… He didn’t really try to harass me, it just looked so…” Even knowing that this was the truth, it was an effort to fight the revolting memory. I always thought that women are right to be fussy about men pawing them, but only now understood now nasty that feels. Even if you only pretend to be a woman.

“He indeed is nice, if not very smart with women. I can’t imagine what might have gotten into him yesterday… And, honestly, I was impressed by you. It was obvious how shaken and furious you were, and you still stood up for him. At the cost of a personal sacrifice, The Boss said.” She looked at me quizzically.

“Um, no, I wasn’t actually that shaken—”

“Why then coming today like this? Oxfords, long jeans, the plainest blouse possible, free hair, no jewelry, no nail varnish, no makeup, not even lipstick? Trying to be more a boy than a girl?” She smiled.

Uh-oh! Turns out, Fabricia is watchful like hell. I felt just a hair away from being de-masked.

“Poor kid. And you look so cute in a skirt!”, she continued. Then sighed. “I hope you will overcome it soon… You actually defended Filippo’s family, I guess? I noticed your reaction after you saw the groceries for the children in his bag.”

Does she ever miss anything?!

And has she already noticed the masquerade, and is just playing now?

“Um, yes… But he really didn’t try to touch me, it just—”

“Okay, okay. The Boss was impressed, too. So few girls are so responsible and conscious, especially at your age. Heck, even so few men are… Good morning, Mr. Montafun!”

“Hello, Fabricia. Hello… Miss Manzoni? Lexie? How do you prefer to be called?”

Did he have to ask that while Fabricia is watching me?!

“Ummmm, Lexie is okay.” I felt my face burning again.

“Did I offend you? If yes, I apologize sincerely—”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Montafun, she is just very shy. Lu said it very well – as if coming from times when the women were real women.” Fabricia smiled and entered the changing room.

“Indeed. So, I hope that you will enjoy working here. If you meet any problems, do not hesitate to come straight to me.”

“Thank you, Mr. Montafun.”

During the next ten minutes, everyone I knew – except Grace – came, changed and entered their rooms. I reminded myself several times to be careful and not gawk at the women. Filippo stayed as far from me as possible, keeping his eyes to the floor. I sincerely felt pity for him. Not very smart with women described me well too, Sandra was right. And I still owed him, despite that everyone around believed the opposite.

Part 6

“Lexie, why you are waiting out there? Come in,” called Maria – that is, Mommy – from the room of the women. “These two desks are free, choose yours.”

Usually I would take any one, but after yesterday the idea to sit behind Grace didn’t appeal to me. I went to the one behind Vinnie. The desk turned out rather old-fashioned, no VR or AR installed, not even 3D glasses – just a depth emulating screen. However, the speed indicator showed it was surprisingly fast. I remembered well the lessons on working with old-ish technologies, I thought with pride.

“Okay.” Mommy tapped several times on her desk, and a group of green data files, accompanied by a yellow description file and a white tasklist appeared on mine. “We have here some genetics data about newborns for the twenty regions of Italy.” She came to me and pointed to the files. “Here is the list of the analyses you have to do.” She opened the tasklist and moved it at the front of the upper left of the desk vertical screen, “Can you manage?”

I read the list carefully.

“A two-way regression, a clustering, a correlation and an ANOVA to compare one to another, some result sorting, a control run… Yes, I can do these.”

“Great! I guess you have used StatWhiz in the university, it is this tool here. If you need anything, call me… Hi, Grace!”

“Hi.” Grace was about fifteen minutes late, and apparently not in a good mood. I could almost feel her eyes burning holes into me. What the hell did she want?!… Okay, let’s do the job.

Processing twenty regions in the same way called for a script instead of dialog work. I knew from the university that the dialog interface of StatWhiz was second to none on depth 3Ds, but its scripting system wasn’t so good. PSPP had almost no dialog interface, but its scripting was great, and my grade in it was excellent. Was it installed here?… Yes! I quickly created a new script and started typing.

In about three hours the script appeared ready. At running however, it spat a dozen of errors. Obviously I had forgotten the language a bit. Started fixing them one by one, using the data for Abruzzo as test input.

“Lexie, where you are? Did you manage one region already?” the voice of Mommy interrupted me. It took me a second to remember who Lexie was.

“Not yet.” I had one last bug to fix, near the very end.

“Umm… Will you be able to finish twenty in four days? May I help you?” She rose up and came to me. “Let me… Huh? Where did you get that script?”

“Wrote it. Almost finishing.”

“You wrote a script?!”

Suddenly there was a complete silence in the room. All heads were turned towards me.

“Ummm… These desks are productive. If we leave the script running overnight, it will probably finish the twenty regions by the end of the working day tomorrow, if not even earlier. It will be faster than processing through dialogs… Did I do something wrong?…”

They continued staring at me without a word. It suddenly dawned on me – and confused me further.

“Should it be a big deal? I had an exam on writing scripts in the university… Didn’t you?!”

The silence became even deeper. After several seconds, Mommy sighed.

“I was in the university almost thirty years ago. We didn’t study statistical scripting then. I have learned bits of it, but can customize written scripts at most. The Boss is God Himself at writing them. He usually would write one for every new protocol and leave it with the data, but probably hadn’t managed for this one. And it is urgent…”

She was obviously uncomfortable. I had to change the topic, but what to? What women would chat about?… I turned towards Lu.

“Umm, Lu… I… I mean, you…”

“I haven’t even studied statistics, sweetie,” she smiled sadly, interpreting my hesitation as a question. “A registered nurse, that’s what I am. The Boss hired me to evaluate the medical data, that is what we mostly process and I have a good eye for it, still do it. But then there were more orders for other data types, and I learned to do most statistical processing, too. Have always been a quick study…”

I didn’t know what to do. Turned to the desk screen, only to meet the eyes of Vinnie above it. She blinked quickly and slightly blushed:

“I-I-I’m an English m-major. Came to t-translate requirements and reports, but had to also learn the processing. The men all know E-English well…” Her voice trailed off and she turned towards Grace, probably hoping to pass the attention to someone else. Grace looked to the floor for a couple of seconds, then spat:

“I was dumb enough to marry instead of studying.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. The data processing team of the greatest statistician alive includes no statistician with modern knowledge?! Only one out of four is statistician at all?!… He appeared quite able to evaluate the applicants!… What the hell happened here?!

As if the damned bodysuit was not enough…

The clumsy silence was interrupted by Lu:

“Come on, girls. We do our job well, right? And with Lexie’s help now will be just perfect… I wonder what the men gossip about, eh? Wanna listen?”

Mommy quickly nodded, obviously relieved. Vinnie joined her, followed by Grace.

Lu got up, went to the door and locked it. Then opened the top drawer of her desk and took out a medical stethoscope. Spat out a piece of chewing gum in her palm and plugged one of the stethoscope earplugs with part of it. Glued with the rest the other earplug to the microphone of her desk, turned the sound on, dialed the volume to max and put the head of the stethoscope against the wall next to her. To my surprise, the voices of the men in the next room could be heard well:

“You can’t imagine how lucky you are,” the voice of Nicola said. “I’ve known him for thirty years already, and have never seen him so angry. Can’t believe that he didn’t fire you.”

A sign was clearly heard.

“Frankly, I deserved to be fired.” That was the voice of Filippo. “For being stupid enough to listen to Tony, to start with.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault that you don’t have a sense of humor! How could I know that you would actually go and try it! Don’t blame your stupidity on me!”

“Okay, calm down, both of you!” said Nicola. “A beauty like her can rattle the reasoning of every man. Heck, I wonder why she went into statistics than into modeling. She would be rolling in money now.”

“More likely in the bed of some politician or mafiosi,” Filippo noted. “A good reason to go into statistics instead.”

“You’d like her in your own bed, right?… Hey, I’m just joking!” Tony suddenly sounded scared. Don’t know about Filippo, but the blood was rushing into my head. It might be a good idea to find this jerk during the weekend and kick his ass… Then remembered what I said to the image in the mirror when I saw it for a first time, and suddenly wanted to sink in the ground. Was I the same kind of scum?!

“Sweetie, that is just how men talk when no women are around, no need to be embarrassed,” Lu whispered towards me. “I see you are embarrassed by it, but don’t worry. Your mom surely warned you about it.”

“She died when I was born,” I sighed, still trying to absorb the revelation I had stumbled upon.

“Oh, dear! My sincerest condolences!… And you I guess that don’t have a bigger sister, or an aunt?”

I snapped out of the thoughts. That was a great idea for explaining why I know so little about all things female!

“No, just a father… A mountain climber and rescuer. I grew with him and the rescue team, in the mountain and homeschooled… There were no women around…” I hated myself for lying, but…

“So that is why you are such a tomboy? Was yesterday the first time you donned a skirt?” The laughter of all of them told me that this is a joke just a moment before I would confirm it. Again, risked to unmask myself!…

And I still felt a ton of embarrassment when thinking about wearing a skirt. To hide it, I focused on the script. The last bug was quickly fixed and I started the script over the group of raw data files. Meanwhile, Nicola Petruccio finally managed to hush the argument between the men by suggesting going to a lunch. Lu sighed and disassembled the makeshift eavesdropping device:

“Time for lunch for us too, girls! Lexie, there is a nice and cheap eating place down the street. And I believe you owe something to the tradition.”

I was about to ask what tradition when it dawned on me.

“Of course!”

* * *

The place turned out to be a mix between bistro and restaurant. Finally having some money, I ordered for myself a mountaineer-sized three-course meal. The women – I almost thought “the other women” – exchanged puzzled glances. That changed to kind-hearted smiles when it turned out that the damned suit constricts my belly so badly that I was barely able to eat the appetizer and the soup. Only then I guessed that they had ordered just a soup and a salad each not only to be easy on a bill I had to pay. And that most women didn’t eat too much not only because of diets. Their narrow waists apparently just didn’t have much room inside… I tried to concoct an excuse that I am taking the rest for dinner, but that only widened the smiles around.

There is only one thing I hate more than lying – lying and being caught…

When we returned, the desk had already processed the data for Abruzzo. For a couple of hours, I carefully investigated the output. Everything appeared done properly.

“May I take a peek, too?” asked Mommy. I sent the results file to her desk and excused myself to the restroom. Luckily, it was only one – I didn’t risk entering the wrong one by mistake.

Behind the toilet bowl, there was a plastic curtain. My curiosity took over and I carefully pulled it aside. Nothing special, just several shelves, stocked with toilet paper, cleaning supplies and similar stuff… Suddenly something attracted my attention.

There was an empty plastic bottle from disinfectant on the floor there. Five-liters, conical, with a small opening on the top… A crazy idea came to my mind. I grabbed it, pressed its flat bottom against the wall on the left, and put my ear at the opening… Yes! I could distinguish the voices of the women.

“— surely hasn’t been eating properly for some time,” said Lu. “Ordered enough to feed a strong man.”

“M-maybe she is used to eating with mountain rescuers,” Vinnie replied. “With that job, they probably eat like you can’t imagine.”

“My ex also ate like a boar, but was good for nothing.” That was the voice of Grace.

“Men have some point about her,” interjected Mommy. “I too wonder why she didn’t get into modeling or the like.”

“What use does a fashion agency has for a girl that won’t sleep with the patrons? And if a patron forces her into some fun, he is a walking corpse? All the mountain rescuers around will unite to revenge for their daughter, and they are tougher than even the mafiosi.” I could clearly hear the bitterness in the voice of Grace.

“Tougher than experienced killers? Not everyone can become one of these.”

“In such things, not being afraid to die matters more than not being afraid to kill,” Grace replied. “The mountain rescuers risk their lives every day, for people they don’t even know. Do you think that you can just go up and join them, like the kids who join the mafia do? No way. People like them are really rare.”

Suddenly her words startled me. Was I really able to go and save unknown people every day? It was easy to help Filippo Mastroianni when I risked just some money. What if I risked my life, like the rescuers I knew? They had never let me go in dangerous missions, because I was underage…

“… and she appears really good at statistics,” Lu was saying. “Looks like she can do all our work alone. Hope The Boss won’t ditch us.”

“Don’t worry. Fabricia told me that we get more and more orders, and he not only writes the scripts, but for the last few months also processes a lot of the data, working from home even more than here… I am more worried that she might try to hit on the men. Or even just signal availability – they will fight over her like dogs over a bone.” That was Mommy.

Why all women think of such things first?! Can’t a guy… well, a girl just be a worker?!

I returned to the working room and tried to optimize the script, and to observe the women without being noticed. Grace was typing with impressive speed, completely concentrated on the screen. Lu and Vinnie worked a bit slower, but also didn’t waste the time. Mommy continued checking my results. About quarter to six Grace grabbed her bag, mumbled a goodbye and almost ran out. The others just nodded.

When the clock above the door chimed, Mommy turned to me and smiled:

“Looks like your script does a good work. All data analyses are there, the main and the control results match very well. Excellent!”

“Thank you, Ms. Rodolfo.”

“Um… Call me Mommy like everybody else. That ‘Ms. Rodolfo’ makes me feel old.” She smiled again.

“I will!” I hurried to reassure her. The last thing I needed was my direct bosswoman to hate me because of feeling old around me.

We exited the room and the other women – well, the women – went to change. While wondering whether to wait for them or to go, I suddenly heard the voice of Filippo Mastroianni behind me:

“Miss Manzoni, would you permit me to say something?”

I turned to him. He was standing at a respectful distance, with a very serious and somewhat tense expression. Except for us two, there was nobody else in the corridor.

“Of course.”

“I want to most sincerely apologize for what happened yesterday. I don’t understand how I could be so abusive. I’ve always have been much better than that… There is absolutely no excuse for what I did, and I will never repeat it.”

He was apologizing to me for what was my fault at least as much as his…

“Don’t worry, Mr. Mastroianni. I am sure that you are much better… If I hadn’t stepped back, nothing inappropriate would happen, so the guilt is mine too—”

“That is not true! Miss Manzoni, the fault is entirely and completely mine, and I must and will carry all the responsibility for it. Please don’t let your heart of gold make you take that burden. You already did for me yesterday so much more than I deserved. I will never forget it.”

This man was naive, but so sincere. Actually, I only returned yesterday some of my debt to him. It was his heart that was of gold, I was just an impostor next to him…

“Well, umm… Mr. Mastroianni… Filippo, could we just forget that? It never happened, you never did anything inappropriate… I am sure that you will never again do such a thing, I see that you are much better. Well, when you don’t leave Tony to goad you into stupid things.” I felt myself smiling, and the tension disappeared from the face of Filippo’s like wiped out. “Please don’t worry. You will always have my support.”

He blinked several times, obviously not expecting such an answer.

“Miss Manzoni, you are an incredibly rare girl.”

“Statistically speaking?” I smiled. He did too:

“It is a privilege to work alongside you.”

A slight noise behind my back told me that the other people had come out of the changing rooms and watched us.

“It’s a privilege for me to work with everyone here, Filippo. Including you.”

He blinked again. Then dropped on one knee, much like a movie Victorian gentleman.

“Miss Manzoni… thank you!”

I felt even more guilty. How to make him a bit more comfortable? He deserved much better than that.

“Ummmm… Call me Lexie, please.”

Part 7

I spent the evening watching all kinds of movies for women – rom-coms, teenage musicals etc. Most of the time on fast-forward. Learned a lot of names for female clothes – had heard some of these before, but never cared to know what they mean. Also, marked in a file what types of clothes and what colors go together, and what doesn’t. At least in these movies. Would observe the young women on the street and in the subway tomorrow to confirm what I noticed. I shouldn’t allow anyone in the company discover that I am a man…

The next morning, I managed to not put shaving cream on my face. And didn’t look at the mirror before I was fully dressed, to avoid the arousal. I had learned from the movies – and remembered that Sandra also did it – that women change clothes every day, sometimes more than once per day. Why, given that their work was usually not sweaty, was beyond me. However, I changed the blouse. Considered also the running shoes, but in the movies these usually went with sporting clothes. Well, it had to be Oxfords again.

At work, there was some data that had to be manually processed. Just after lunch, I again excused myself to the restroom and tried to eavesdrop on the women. Nothing about me, apart from a mention by Mommy that I need some encouragement. Didn’t get about what, or why.

About mid-afternoon my desk chimed – the script had finished processing the regions. I forwarded the results to Mommy. Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on the door and The Boss entered. Going straight to me.

“May I see your script, Lexie?”

“Sure. Here it is… How did you know that I have written one?”

“These data cannot be processed manually in less than two days. And on the interview you demonstrated knowledge on a level that hinted on good scripting skills too.” He looked at me above his gold-rimmed glasses. “I didn’t write a script for these data exactly to see if you would and how good it will be… Not bad for someone without work experience… Better move the column descriptions into a separate file and just include it here, you might have many scripts processing these data in different ways, and on a format change you only need to modify one file… Best tabulate the command subs a bit further in, thus you get half-tabs for continued rows, the script becomes more readable… PSPP does regression a bit faster if you sort in the beginning the data by the first three columns, it’s useful in a time crunch… Best include in the column and value labels the names of the genes, the results get more readable, Mr. Petruccio will be happy with this… Okay, four suggestions are enough for a time.” He looked at me above his glasses again. “Good job.”

A praise from Sergio Montafun himself, on the second day of my job! You just don’t get more than that! I was flying somewhere in the clouds.

“Will you be willing to show the other girls some scripting? They have been too overloaded with manual work to have the time to write scripts. Your coming might free them a bit of time for that.”

“Of course, Bo… Mr. Montafun!” I suddenly wanted to dig myself in a hole and die there. He however only smiled.

“I see that the bad influence in your group continues, Ms. Rodolfo. Please take measures, or I will make Lexie your boss.”

“You think she will eradicate it?” Mommy smiled too. The other women giggled.

The Boss smiled wider, waved a hand dismissively and exited the room.

“Lexie, for all of us, I want to deeply and sincerely thank you!” Mommy said turning to me. “Finally, a woman teaches The Boss that we can be as skilled as men!”

The other women started clapping hands. A woman, sure…

“Didn’t he know that?” I hoped that my voice will not betray what I was thinking about women's skills.

“He is an old school” Lu sighed. “A devoted husband, a model gentleman, but perceives us only as… well, women. He can never see that we can be as good as men in everything. Well, could not until today.”

The bitterness in her voice startled me. Whatever the truth, Lu really believed that. However, she just couldn’t be right. Oh, those always oppressed women!

“If you didn’t convince him, how could I?”

“Appearance matters, dear. If you grew up among men only, and used all the time in the university to study only, you might have not noticed it, but it is so, trust me.”

I blinked and looked away – straight into the eyes of Grace.

“It’s all easy when you can compete for Miss Universe” she almost snapped. “Try being almost forty and plain, you will learn that on the spot.”

She mouthed silently a “Princess!” after that, earning a stern look by Mommy. The older woman sighed and looked straight into my eyes:

“You look to men like a wet dream even in simple jeans, without any makeup or jewelry, showing no interest in them and having the mannerisms of a male mountain rescuer. Would look to them this way in a burlap sack and covered with dirt. And they accept as equals only women that appear out of their league. That is why The Boss could accept it from you, and not from us.”

I wanted to say something, but couldn’t. Lu has been so right. In the mountain, I never cared to learn to communicate with women as an equal. I was one of their guides, not one of their group. In the university, I almost never was with the other students, trying to drown the grief for Uncle Franko by studying day and night. I had become the best student in the statistics course, but missed the chance to learn to live among ordinary people and understand them.

And more. It suddenly dawned on me why none of the women had learned – or in the case of Mommy, simply remembered – the statistical scripting while working here, despite the need for it. And why the team that did the analysis, the work that requires skills and knowledge, was men-only, while the ones that did the data processing, the menial work, were all women. They indeed were considered inferior, even by a demigod like Sergio Montafun. Maybe without him even realizing it – like I hadn’t realized until now how many problems the women meet.

And by me too, in an even nastier and more stupid way…

Just a few days ago, I believed that I am a man of integrity. Raised by embodiments of honor and strength, the best of the best, to be like them. Turned out, I was actually full of prejudices.

And, thinking of what I did and was ready to do in order to avoid the prison, full of cowardice too… Would I be ever able to be what I aspired to?

While looking like a sweet girl, at that?… It sounded like a hell.

But maybe it was a kind of purgatory instead – nasty and humiliating, but I should probably be grateful instead of hating it. Like I initially hated the grueling rock-climbing lessons of Uncle Franco, but they had saved my life so many times…

“Speaking of that, we indeed will benefit from learning some scripting,” Mommy interrupted the silence. “What do you say, girls?”

Vinnie and Lu nodded enthusiastically, their eyes lit. Even Grace smiled. Then suddenly looked at the clock above the door, grabbed her purse, said goodbye and almost ran out. Again, fifteen minutes early. And again, was twenty minutes late in the morning, too…

Did she had some “special privileges”? Was all that make-up and the deep neck cut to that goal? In movies, it was usually like this. Judging by them, it was best to be careful around her. If the lover of a boss feels bad about another worker – a female – then that worker was a goner. I would have to be gold and diamonds here to pass for tin and copper. And to never allow even the tiniest hint that I’m male. If Grace notices or learns about it…

“It would be an honor for me to help with that. Ms Ro… um, Mommy, please set time for that as you see fit.” I blushed again. On top of all, will I ever learn to communicate, for anything’s sake?! Even when I was telling the truth? They deserved so much to be taught everything I knew.

“Okay, tomorrow we might have an hour for that. And Lexie, that blouse you had yesterday, I think it will go just great with the black skirt. Wanna come some day in them?” Mommy smiled. “Don’t be afraid, Filippo will not harass you anymore. Actually, judging by what we saw yesterday at leaving, he will be ready to kill anyone who just looks to you in an improper way.”

“Ummm, I… I will, of course. If you think that it, um, suits me…”

“Trust me, it does.”

“Thank you.” Damn!

Looked like I had to quickly learn what means “to signal availability”. In order to avoid doing it.

And maybe to whine internally a little less. To invest that effort in becoming a little better.

* * *

The next day wasn’t easier, but I was determined to not whine anymore. I’m a mountaineer, after all! Came to work dressed as I had promised to Mommy – including tights and heels, no girl in a skirt on the street wore Oxfords or running shoes, or went without tights. Maybe because of the cool weather, though I didn’t believe that the tights can warm up at all. I didn’t flinched even when it turned out that my uniforms were ready and delivered at the office – one skirt or another…

Using the changing room for a first time, I was surprised how the women looked while changing clothes. I had expected something like the movies, or even the magazines. Instead, they looked… plain. Even old, somehow – not ancient grandmothers, but somehow worn out. Nothing that would be worth sneaking somehow in and watching them. It looked to me like they used their clothes to hide their imperfections, rather than their femininity. Not staring at them proved surprisingly easy. After all, I could stare at… well, the mirror, as much as I wanted.

I noticed the envy they looked at me with, and felt guilty. They would love to be young and beautiful girls, needed it to not be considered inferior everywhere, and couldn’t have it. I had it and hated it instead of valuing it; didn’t deserved it. Which was no problem to me, I didn’t want it – but they, they wanted and deserved it. And I felt guilty for their plight.

Could that German GmbH spring again somehow, offer its product again? I would only love if all women around were so beautiful… But that was unlikely. Not only the secret services who developed this type of bodysuit would hate to see it everywhere. Governments, too – I could kill someone as Alexandra in plain sight, then dispose secretly of the bodysuit and nobody would suspect me. Or, maybe the suit could mimic anyone else’s appearance – there were plenty of movies about someone being replaced with an evil lookalike… The potential for bad usage was huge. Maybe we just couldn’t allow such a technology to exist.

But its potential for good was huge, too. Empowerment and happiness for women was only the start. So many people die in accidents that this bodysuit can protect from. So many things can become possible… Maybe still it was worth introducing it quietly, giving us time to find ways to counter the evil uses, to increase the good ones, to teach the people what they need to know…

“Wow, you are a total knockout!”

It took me a second to notice that Lu was speaking to me.

“Um…”

“Blue goes so well with your skin tone! Let me see you from a distance…” She pulled back as much as the narrow changing room would allow. “You look incredible in the uniform!”

The other two women nodded simultaneously.

“Lexie, could you give us a strut?” asked Mommy.

“Ummm, I… I…”

“Imagine you are a model; this is the catwalk and you are modeling the newest dress of DiGeorgio. Go for it, girl!… Come on, an entire hall of rich men is watching you! Take the walk!”

I clenched my teeth and tried to walk through the room as I had seen fashion models on TV news.

“Don’t put on that snow queen face!” Lu reprimanded me kindly. “Models should signal a bit of availability, dear. That is what attracts the men. Smile sweetly! More widely, you have beautiful teeth, show them!… Have you never pretended to be a model on a catwalk, just for the pleasure of it?”

“Ummmmm… I have couple of times, but…” I felt my cheeks burning.

“You see? No need to be embarrassed about it, dear, every girl does! Even I, at my age!… Swing a bit that cute backside, that will instantly have all men watching you and wanting you!”

“Ummm, I am not sure that—”

“Yes, you are right, they would watch you and want you even without that, you are an incredible beauty, but this will attract them even stronger! The more men chase you, the better husband you can choose among them! Don’t you want the best husband in the world?”

I barely stopped myself from screaming whether I want a husband, how do I feel about swinging my ass, and how much pleasure I find in modeling a skirt suit. Or a dress before a hall full of men.

“Now, that is better… You are born for skirts, Lexie. Why don’t you wear them more often?”

“If I was a man, I would be chasing you day and night” added Mommy. I guessed that she was just making a compliment to a cute girl, but it smacked of truth. If there was such a beauty around me, I would definitely do it. And the thought that this probably is going to happen to me instead… I was still doing my best to smile and strut, but Petit Dru’s southern wall started appearing to me so hospitable and inviting…

Luckily, the time for starting work had already passed, and the catwalk had to stop. I had to grudgingly admit to myself that the uniform was actually convenient to wear, despite the skirt. The old tailor obviously knew his trade well.

The feeling of guilt however didn’t subside, fueled in part by the embarrassment from, in short, being Lexie… Well, I could at least help the women in the company get a part of what they deserve. Teach them scripting. Support them when they need it. Maybe even Grace, despite that she didn’t deserve it.

And, first of all, learn to understand them. To be one of them. Of course, not in the sense of being a woman! Just… being a part of a social group. Becoming socially and emotionally smarter. Looked like women taught those skills better than men. During these three days in a female company, I had learned more about them than for all of my life before.

* * *

Mommy appeared eager to bring the scripting in – the first two hours this day were dedicated to it. I was surprised how eagerly the women studied it, and that they were indeed promising… After that, she decided that we need a fifteen-minutes break. Lu looked at us and winked:

“Men make their break about now. Wanna listen what they discuss?” She took the stethoscope out of the drawer, prepared it quickly and put it against the wall.

“—a street fighter? She uses her fists well, Filippo will testify. Or a spellcaster, more likely? Looks good at this too.” This was the voice of Tony. I swear I could hear the smirk in it. And barely constrained myself from going there and using my fists to their best.

“Some kind of rogue, definitely. Or maybe a damsel in distress, with that shyness.” Gab replied. “Would make an excellent character with her appearance.”

“Would you like her for a companion in a game?” Tony continued. “Companion with benefits?”

“Nah. She is not really a human, can’t you see it? Everyone says she is the perfect woman, and there ain’t no perfect real people, right? What you see must be just a disguise, and she should be something else under it.”

Shit! Who would believe that Gab would be so observational! I felt the blood draining from my face. However, the women around all started giggling.

“Don’t be angry, Lexie, this is actually a compliment,” quietly said Lu. “Kind of like when men whistle at you.”

“I wish they’d keep these compliments to themselves!” I snapped.

“Really, Gab?” continued Tony. “Could you tell me more about that? I would love to be enlightened about it. What is she actually, an alien under that disguise?”

“Could be. Coming here to study us. Pretending she grew in some remote place, to hide that she knows little about humans… Or maybe a spy from somewhere far away, like China, using a secret technology to masquerade as a beautiful girl. That is how she knocked down Filippo with a single hit, she must actually be male under that disguise…”

Lu was laughing so hard that she barely managed to hold the stethoscope against the wall. Vinnie was giggling uncontrollably and brushing tears from her cheeks, delicately. Mommy was trying to keep composure, but couldn’t stop chuckling. Even Grace’s smile looked genuine. It took me a couple of seconds to understand that the laugh is not directed at me.

“This time Gab outdid himself,” managed Lu through the gasps.

“Gab is like this,” nodded Mommy to me. “Nice and kind-hearted person, but doesn’t march to the same tune as most people. Having no personal life, only computer gaming, does such things to men’s heads. Good and punctual worker, but a little bit crazy… Don’t worry, he won’t act on it. Just don’t pay attention to his theories, he has a new one every day…”

Ahhh, the relief…

“Umm… Strange guy,” I managed.

“You should have seen a month ago him explaining that Luigi the driver is actually a… what it was, Vinnie, a Dark Elf in hiding? And when he came here for a first time, he put a piece of incense on his desk, to see how The Boss will react on it. To check if he is an angel, or a… was it nephilim? These satanic warriors from the game he was into then.”

“Luckily we haven’t had someone from the Middle East here,” Grace noted. “Gab would probably try to check if they fit in a bottle.” Everybody around laughed.

A sound of door opening and closing came from the speakers.

“How goes the work, boys?” The voice of Nicola.

“Almost ready. Did you convince that lady from Rome City Planning to use our statistics?”

“Yep. Filippo came up with an excellent explanation about the difference between the AI and the human statistics. How the AIs can give you everything you want, but if you aren’t a statistician, you wouldn’t know what is the best and the most reliable for you specifically, to want exactly this. And AIs will not sit down with you, ask you questions and clarify it. Convinced her on the spot.”

“I don’t doubt it, Mr. Casanova has that effect on women. Wait a week, and Lexie will—”

“Tony, would you shut up!”

“Hey, I’m not saying anything bad! You are offended because—”

“Tony, Filippo, break! We’ve got tons of work, and you are bickering instead!”

The other… that is, the women in the room continued laughing even after Lu put the stethoscope back in the drawer.

“So, Lexie, you are actually a masquerade for a man. I wouldn’t be able to come up with that if my life depended on it,” Lu managed through the laugh.

“Yeah… Let’s do some work.” Mommy had returned to her usual no-nonsense composure. “Lexie, could you please add to your script a cross-correlation for six of the genes? Here is the list.”

“Sure. Do you want to try it together? It’s easy, you can copy-paste the command from up there and modify it…”

After returning from lunch, I couldn’t concentrate on the work. Did the men ever discuss since I came here anything other than me? That is, Lexie? I mean, Alexandra… oh well, Lexie stuck already. It’s not really me, after all… Probably not. If I worked in a room with several other guys, and there was such a hot girl in the next room, there would hardly be another topic. What a discomfort it was to know that an entire room of men discusses most of the time nothing else but you. Seeing you as… I didn’t want to even think about it. Luckily the women didn’t know that.

Or… what if they did? I guess a real Lexie would be rabid about it… But it looked like they took some things as compliments, or at least tried to… Who the hell can guess what a woman would think?

And I had to. Any mistake of mine could unmask me. Fabricia was just a hair away from seeing through my disguise. Gab had even guessed it, but luckily for me, even he would not take himself seriously. And I didn’t want to lose this job so quickly. Not only because of the income – I had started to like it and my new colleagues, despite that disguise from hell… No matter how impolite and shameful it was, it might be a good idea to try and eavesdrop to the women again. I had the nasty feeling that they would discuss me too.

I excused myself to the restroom, put the old bottle to the wall and put my ear to its opening.

“— have no idea,” Mommy was speaking. “Never noticed her checking men.”

“Might be.” That was Grace. “I also never noticed her showing even a slightest interest in men. Total ice queen. And I’m not sure, but think she was checking Lu for a moment yesterday.”

Was Grace also incredibly observational like Fabricia? She, of all here? Damn…

Or were actually all women? Or most of them? Is it me who has to learn a lot at that?

“Oh, come on. I’m married, and far below her league anyway. Why she would check me, even if she is L? You just don’t like her.”

What the hell did she mean, “L”?!… Lesbian?! Ugh. They are moving closer…

“I don’t, but she is really strange anyway. Total lack of social clues. Looks like she never met other people than the mountain rescuers. A Mowgli.”

“Mowgli? Like in that old Disney movie, with all the animals?”

“There is also a book, Vinnie, the movie was based on it. And it is not only about the cute animals.” Grace sighed. “I’m no Gab, but to me she is hard to believe, too. An incredible beauty that is such a tomboy. Doesn’t even use a deodorant. At least they obviously taught her proper hygiene—”

“Not strange at all. Imagine how the rescuers that raised her felt around her, and how protective they were. Homeschooled her, remember? If my daughter was such a beauty, I would be scared to death every time she is out of the house. Hell, I’m scared for Lexie too. Maybe it was a mistake to encourage her to wear skirts.”

“As if she looks less attractive in jeans. Beauty like hers is impossible to hide. Hope she knows how to avoid trouble.”

Grace being worried for me?! I couldn’t believe it.

“Well, we will teach her to be a girl,” Mommy stated. “A bit more encouragement, and she will learn to enjoy feeling beautiful. A skirt today, a dress tomorrow – I don’t know if she even has dresses, the poor kid! We should probably take her shopping for clothes…”

Oh, joy…

“Maybe some lessons on make-up too,” added Lu. “Not that she needs it, but what if she has to go on some official event?”

“Maybe invite her to a salon too?” That was Vinnie. “There is a nice place several blocks from here, they do a great manicure, and are also good at hairstyling…”

I quickly put the bottle down and hurried back to the room, before they could get more ideas on how to girlify me. As if today’s catwalking in a skirt was not enough. Actually, as if what I was seeing in the mirror was not already way beyond enough…

Well, I had a hope. The gender balance of the company was currently even, counting me as female. If we hired one more woman, I could drop the disguise and be hired as myself without breaking the idiotic EU rules.

Part 8

The women were polite, but persistent as hell. During the next week I managed to fend off the make-up lessons and the salon, but had to come most days to work in a skirt and heels, and promise to someday go with them shopping for clothes. I tried couple of times to pretend to very delicately check out men, so that the women notice it. Mostly Filippo – he had a rom-com star appearance and was nicknamed Casanova, surely had to be attractive for women. I would owe him for that too.

Lucia sold me some deodorant that she said to be “neutral, even almost unisex”, but putting it on in the mornings almost always resulted in a raging arousal. Somehow it went perfectly with the innocent sweetness of the face in the mirror, and the flawless body below it. No matter how I tried to avoid the sight, my hormones always managed to make my eyes steal a glimpse. I don’t want to remember what was the first thing I did Saturday, after taking the suit off. For several hours…

After that however I went straight to the high-speed train to Lugano. Deliberately manspreaded in the almost empty carriage – something I never did before. Spent the evening, the night and most of the Sunday happily climbing, naked to the waist during the day, saying to the stones around the few curse words I knew. Wearing mountaineering clothes and shoes… Felt male. Felt myself. For precious little time, before having to be back in the evening. To put on the damned bodysuit and the skirt, the tights and the heels, and become Lexie again.

* * *

Less than an hour after the lunch, there was a knock on the door of our room.

“Yes?” Mommy said. “Oh, Mr. Petruccio! Please come in! Can we help with something?”

“Actually yes. I need a custom data processing script.” He looked quizzically at me.

“Of course I will help! What it should do?”

“Come to my desk, I’ll show you…”

I followed him to The Cave. And noticed that he moved somehow… carefully.

“Just a moment, I’ll fetch another chair…”

I felt humiliated by the fact that a man more than twice my age was bringing and holding a chair for me. While maybe not feeling well… But the damned disguise had to be maintained.

“Thank you, Mr. Petruccio.”

What a woman ought to do if a man does not feel well? Offer politely to help? Somehow without humiliating him?

“For nothing. See, I want to test the hypothesis that SIDS in rural areas has different correlations than in urban areas. If so, the structure of the correlating factors set will, ugh… Change smoothly with the size of the community. There will also be… ugh… will be…” His voice trailed off.

I looked at him, startled. His usually ruddy face was pale and sunk.

“Mr. Petruccio, are you okay?”

“Yeah… It’s the ulcer, I forgot my pills at home… Don’t worry, I’ll do…”

Shit! I had seen twice tourists with perforated ulcers. Both were in risk for their life, and had to be evacuated by a helicopter… Hell with the disguise!

“What is the name of the pills you take?”

“Can’t remember… Big white ones…”

That was not of much use. Luckily, the mountain rescuers know other means for ulcers too.

I shot out of the room. Quickly opened the small fridge next to the desk of Fabricia – no milk! Without thinking much, I ran to the elevator. There was a diary shop right across the street. In less than ten minutes, I was back with a box of non-skimmed milk.

“If you can’t drink milk, take only a couple of sips, just to relieve the pain.”

“Thank you… I will be okay… Give me a few minutes…” He carefully sipped from the box.

“Call me when you want to continue.”

The door of our room turned out locked – I had to wait for a few seconds for Mommy to let me in. The reason turned out to be Lu eavesdropping on the men again. I quietly sat behind my desk and listened.

“—literally sprinted! I could hear her!” was saying Filippo Mastroianni. “In heels! My wife is as nice and caring as one can ever get, but even she would not run when in heels, even for me – and I am her husband!”

“Well, obviously Lexie would for Nicola. Aren’t you a bit jealous?” That was Tony, of course.

“She did for me way more than that, before she even knew me! She just really cares for everyone. A heart of pure gold.”

“Filippo is right.” The voice of Mr. Petruccio was still weak, but the pain in it had subsided. “She is a dream not only as flesh and blood… No woman I know compares to her. None would compare even if she was coyote ugly. Men don’t. She is… An angel incarnate. Whoever wins her will be in the heaven every moment of his life…”

The head of the stethoscope slipped from Lu’s fingers and fell on her desk. All women were looking at the floor.

What’s the big deal? Every mountain rescuer would run to help someone. So what?

But right now, I was not a mountain rescuer. I was a beautiful girl who could behave like a spoiled princess and no man would see anything strange, or blame her. Who was expected to do it. But had instead ran in heels, just to help a man she obviously had no interest in, and didn’t depended on him in any way.

If I knew such a girl, I too would be after her, even if she was ugly like hell. Knowing that I would always be able to rely on her. That she would deserve all the care and kindness in the world, precisely because she cares for everyone. Lives by the rules of a male mountain rescuer…

“They are right,” quipped Mommy. “Girls, looks like Lexie can teach us more than scripting.” I could hear the shame in her voice.

“Sure. Run like this for a man and all men around will see you as too easy,” Grace bitterly noted.

“Did they?” Lu glanced towards the wall.

“For Lexie maybe not. For you or me…”

And it suddenly dawned on me.

Being a woman was not easy at all, I had learned it on my back. For them, it would be much harder. They weren’t nasty to men – they just tried to not be “easy” to save themselves from being nastily branded. I was safe from that assumption, because my beauty put me out of the league of the men around. But the other women… that is, the women here weren’t. They had no good move in such a situation.

“Ummm… You see, I just… It’s just what the mountain rescuers do, that is how I am taught…” Suddenly an idea how to explain that to women shot through my head. “And actually, you never know who might like you. Life is unpredictable, right? Even if you help someone who is not eligible, the other men around see it and understand that you are a woman of a value. Right?”

Lu suddenly smiled:

“Well, Lexie finally breaks that shell of hers and is becoming a smart huntress. There is nothing to blush about, girl. We are all women here and know how important is to find the right man.”

“Men valuing women for anything other than sex and home servitude? No way,” spat Grace.

“That is not true!” I jumped. “I… umm, I am sure that men don’t see women this way!”

“Really? Have you been married, to see what men really are?… Sorry to burst your bubble, but the world is not what you think. Most men are just pigs. With your appearance, you might find a better one than most, or at least a richer one. Most women cannot. Get that!”

“Grace, please calm down.” Mommy interjected. “Lexie has a point. Men might think of only one thing around women, but even they will eventually notice if a girl is a good person too.”

“Yep, sure. Is Vinnie a bad person? How’s that men don’t notice her?”

I was barely holding myself from telling Grace that she can’t find a decent man because she is a bitch. However, her words hit me like a slap. She was right. Vinnie was a nice, warm and caring soul, and men still hadn’t noticed her. Men indeed judged women mostly by appearance. I didn’t notice that because I was trying to lie to myself that I am not like that.

Was I the same too? Probably yes…

But I would learn not to be. And, when I married, I would really know how much support women need. And that they deserve it.

* * *

The next day we planned to start again with an hour of scripting lessons. However, a nasty surprise awaited us. All we could see on our desks was a big red message:

ALL YOUR INFORMATION IS ENCRYPTED.
THE ONLY WAY TO RECOVER IT
IS TO PAY 1 BITCOIN TO
bc1qar0srkr7xfkvy5l643lydsw9re59gtzzwf5mdt

I had no idea how much exactly 1 bitcoin costs, but Tony said it is in the hundreds of thousands. The Boss was rabid. Took some red pill (Mommy informed me quietly that it is for his heart) and made a couple of calls. In about an hour there arrived a tall and lanky guy with an annoyed expression – the type that never takes any obligation and always has an excuse to not help you in the mountain. After half an hour of doing some arcane magic on a couple of the desks, he just sighed:

“Hm… I am afraid that it would be impossible to decrypt your data. The virus has done a good job.”

“Well, can you offer any help? After all, I am paying a subscription to your company,” The Boss said behind him.

“I am sorry, Mr. Montanni. You have only one antivirus on your desks, and it is sub-standard. No ongoing maintenance has been done for months. No tracking software is installed. Your OS is not updated properly. In this situation our company is not legally bound to do anything for you, it is in the contract you have signed.” He smiled smugly.

“I see. It is us who haven’t done all these IT things, right? So, please allow me then to free your company from the burden of supporting so sub-standard a place as my company.”

The IT guy almost jumped.

“But it is not our fault that—”

“Of course it is not, of course. I am not blaming you in any way. You are completely right, there is nothing that can be done about us. Please do not waste your precious time here anymore. Mrs. Amabile, please help this young, smart and educated man escape from our unworthy presence…” The Boss showed no trace of the menacing coldness I had seen in him after my altercation with Filippo, but his politeness was full of unconditional finality.

When the doors of the elevator clanked behind the guy, The Boss pulled a chair from behind a table and dropped on it.

“It would take us several months to recover all data. Meanwhile, we would probably bankrupt. Pay them? As far as I know, the sum is not small, and I have no clue in paying with cryptocurrencies.”

“I would advise against it,” said Nicola Petruccio. “I have friends whose workplaces have been attacked in this way. Three or four of them paid the ransom. They got only demands for more and bigger payments. No data was ever recovered, despite that they paid everything requested.”

“Gamers are also targeted by such viruses, gamer forums often discuss it, and say the same. You only are asked for more and more money, and never get your data back,” added Gab.

“Even if you are above Level 40?… I’m joking,” Tony nodded. “I hear the same stuff too.”

“Does anyone have a good idea?” The Boss asked and looked at us, one by one.

“Me,” suddenly said Fabricia from the corridor. “My daughter works for a small hotel chain. When they need some IT thing, they pay some freelancer to do it. What if we also seek one?”

“I know well how hard is to break a good encryption. Statistically speaking, the chances that someone will be able to do it are negligible.”

“What do we have to lose? Let’s post a challenge on the Net” objected Tony. “Offer some of the ransom these bandits want as a reward for decrypting our data. They might pose as freelancers and actually decrypt it, or some talent might be able to. No harm in trying.”

In less than an hour we had the challenge typed, and a couple of encrypted data files attached to it as samples. Gab and Tony took to posting it everywhere on the Net. I used the opportunity to concentrate with the women on theory-only scripting lessons.

On the next day the girls renewed their push to take me shopping for dresses, using the lack of work as an excuse. I was saved only by Fabricia suddenly entering the room:

“Some guy has decrypted the files we posted! The Boss just talked to him. He is in Milan too and will be here in about an hour to try and decrypt the rest!”

We all exploded in cheers.

“Is it possible that he is actually one of the cybercriminals who sent the virus?” asked Grace.

“The Boss said that he considered it too, but the talk convinced him that he is not.”

I was still afraid that the women will try to drag me to some shop and make me buy dresses, an hour was plenty of time, but apparently the joy had made them forget the idea.

An hour later there was a knock on our door, and Fabricia invited inside a guy about my age:

“Here are some of the infected desks, Mr. Gatti. Girls, could you please make some room for our savior?”

“Carlo, please.” I think he blushed slightly at Fabricia’s compliment. Just above average height, muscles moving under his shirt – he obviously was into lifting weights or some other sport. His face was good-looking, even more than Filippo Mastroiani, and there was an even stronger air of openness and honesty about him. The kind of person who might not be an experienced climber, but will never abandon someone in need, and you can rely on him to hold as on a rescuer.

He sat at Mommy’s desk and started carefully probing some things. After about ten minutes, he looked at us:

“I think I will be able to decrypt everything. This type of encryption has flaws, there is a breaker for it.” He powered the desk down, took an old-fashioned thumb drive out of his pocket, plugged it in and turned the desk on again. “Just give me about an hour here, I have to clean the virus first…”

At the end of the day, only my desk remained busted. The next morning Carlo fixed it too and moved to the room of the men, leaving me to check if all data is recovered properly. After the lunch he cleaned the desk of Fabricia and that of The Boss, who insisted to be the last one saved. About 3pm, they both came out of his office, and The Boss called everybody in the corridor.

“Dear Mr. Gatti, you saved our company from a possible bankruptcy. Breaking a good encryption is incredibly hard, and you did it. This makes you a rather rare talent.”

“It is just that making a good encryption is not easy too, Mr. Montafun. The guys that made this virus hadn’t done its encryption properly…”

“Even so, your presence here is an honor for all of us. Dear colleagues, please thank Mr. Gatti for his skills and readiness to help!”

We did.

“Now, Mr. Gatti, I had promised certain sum as a reward for recovering our data. If you prefer it to be transferred to your bank account, I will do that immediately. If you prefer it in cash, please come with me to the bank office in the mall, I will withdraw the money. Also, please name all other expenses of yours – travel, accommodation, any tools or consumables you had to buy, and I will reimburse you for them separately. That breaker you used is not cheap, I guess?”

“I got it for free… I… I have an offer, Mr. Montafun.”

“Yes?”

“Your desks are indeed a bit unmaintained, and your data appears to be very valuable. Would you consider hiring me instead of giving me that reward? I think you might really benefit from having an in-company IT support, and the reward money will pay a typical salary for over six months – enough to evaluate if I justify a job here.”

The Boss didn’t hesitate for long. The company had no tech support anymore…

“To me, three months are enough to say if you justify being hired. So, you will receive half of the reward now… Dear colleagues, please meet our newest colleague! Welcome to Montafun Statistics, Mr. Gatti.”

“Carlo, please.” His eyes glowed with happiness.

“Well, Carlo it be. You proved yourself in the best way possible, and I hope that we both will enjoy working together.”

Damn! My hope to abandon the disguise was destroyed. I just stood there, trying to not show my disappointment.

And how easily The Boss hired that Carlo, compared to me… that is, not to me, to Lexie! And questioned her more strictly than me, despite that he needed her, and was seeking a reason to decline offering the job to me… If I had any doubts that this is men’s world, and is not fair to women, they were wiped out.

Still… I am a mountaineer. We don’t fear the challenges. We overcome them. We must be the example what a man should be.

… Even when masqueraded as women.

… Maybe especially when masqueraded as women.

Part 9

“Lexie, what about going to shop for clothes after work?” Lu asked me a week later, while we were returning from the lunch break.

“I am sorry, but, umm, will have no time. Will be, ummm, going to see my parents for the weekend, have to catch the train early…” I deliberately looked at the men who worked on a street lamp we were passing under, trying to hide the blushing. One of them looked back and whistled. What a pig! Only the presence of the other women – that is, the women – from the company stopped me from going to the lamp and kicking the ladder he was perched on.

“Oh, poor you… Don’t pay attention to these, they thrive on it. Unless they are the type of man that you want as a husband.” Lu giggled.

If she only could imagine just how much I didn’t want a husband at all…

“Is that Carlo there?” the voice of Mommy startled me. "Got that thing he convinced The Boss to buy, I guess. What did he call it?”

“P-protected file storage, I think,” Vinnie replied.

“The box looks to me big enough for a fridge,” Grace noted. “Probably an armored one, judging by the casing.”

“G-got to be armored. I overheard him t-talking with The Boss about it. Said it is fireproof, waterproof, t-tamper proof and other things.”

“And it looks like the guys who delivered it refused to carry it to the elevator,” stated Mommy.

Before I could say anything, Tony came out of the building. Carlo asked him something. We arrived just in time to hear the answer:

“Sorry Carlo, not my job. No one pays me to haul things.”

Carlo sighed, bent over the box, closed his fingers around two of the handles and lifted it with a grunt. Judging by his posture, it weighed way more than him – obviously his muscles were not just an appearance. I instinctively jumped, grabbed the other side of the box and supported it. Carlo looked at me with astonishment. Wasn’t the first one to be amazed by how much I could lift and carry, I smugly thought.

“Lexie… what are you doing?!” exclaimed Mommy next to me. “You will break every bone—”

Shit! Think quickly!

“I won’t. Remember, I am raised by mountain rescuers? On a steep mountain trail I can carry a big man,” I smiled despite the effort. The box indeed was way heavier than a man. “And I know how to carry heavy stuff without harming myself.”

The women were watching me with expressions that were hard to describe. The face of Tony had no expression at all, but his mouth was slightly opened.

“This is no work for a girl! Leave it to the men!” exclaimed Lu.

“Sorry, there are no men other than Carlo here!” replied I with all the venom I could put in my voice. The face of Tony paled, he turned and almost ran away. “Ladies, could you please hold the door of the elevator?”

Vinnie instantly did it. Without paying any attention to the protests of Carlo, I helped him to carry the box inside it and put it down. There was no room for anyone else, the women remained to wait for the next turn. When we arrived on the twelfth floor, I tried to grab the box again, but Carlo categorically stopped me:

“There is no need for help here. The floor is polished marble, I can easily slide the box over it. And please, don’t do that anymore! It’s hard to believe how strong you are, but still, carrying so heavy a thing is a job for men.”

“You have something against emancipation?” I decided to turn everything into a joke. “Or against the women power?”

“Please don’t!” There was desperation in his eyes.

I was about to continue with the jokes, but suddenly understood him. After all, I also would not allow a sweet girl to lift and carry so heavy a thing, and would feel humiliated as a man if she did it anyway. I detested him for robbing me of the opportunity to throw away the damned bodysuit, but that was my problem. He was a nice guy who didn’t deserved to be humiliated.

I nodded and went to my room. Half a minute later, the door opened and the women rushed in, flustered and worried:

“Are you okay?”

“Of course. Why should I not be?”

“T-the p-packaging said it weighs 115 k-kilograms! Lexie, you are m-m-mad!”

“Umm, actually Carlo was carrying all of it. He had already lifted it when I joined, remember? I only helped direct the box, to not catch on something. Didn’t actually carried any of it… Pretended to, just to spite Tony”. I smiled rancorously.

The women giggled. Except Grace, who looked at me with disapproval in her eyes. Would she stop hating me finally! It wasn’t my fault that I am more beautiful than her!

Or actually it was. The damned bodysuit… It was the women who deserved to be beautiful. Even ones like Grace. If I didn’t need that job, I would instantly throw away this bodysuit. It robbed not only me from being a man. It robbed also Grace from feeling like a woman.

And probably the other women too – they just didn’t show it so openly. Being much more polite than men.

Maybe also much better than most men… Looked like pretending to be a woman teaches you a lot of things.

Including how to be a true man…

“—built like a T-shirt model. I bet he lifts weights every day,” Lu was saying.

“Sure. Gays are often like this,” Grace spat.

“G-gays?! What makes you t-think that he is gay?” asked Vinnie.

“Second week already here, and still hasn’t shown any interest, even towards Lexie.”

“Are you sure?!” the brows of Mommy jumped up. “Yes, that’s strange, but he doesn’t look gay to me. They move in a way… you know… not like real men. All women groups on the Net say so. He moves like a rugby player or a boxer, these are men’s men.”

Aaaaargh! Do the women have anything to discuss other than men?! How could they be better than men in some aspects, and at the same time so empty-headed?!…

… But weren’t the men the same – rarely discussing anything other than women? Well, cars and like, but so many men use these just to impress women…

“Looks like he has the effect of a real man. Judging by how high in the clouds Lexie floats…” smiled Lu.

I jumped up, my face burning:

“I don’t! I wasn’t thinking of him at all! Absolutely not! He is… He is, umm, not my type!”

The explosion of laughter was so strong that Fabricia carefully opened the door of the room. Looked around, smiled, nodded to me and closed it.

“No need to deny it, kiddo,” noted Mommy, trying to dab her tears with a paper towel without smearing her makeup. “You think you are the only one here who feels like this around him, with these muscles and face of a movie hero? We are women too, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“But I really wasn’t thinking of him! It’s not what you think! I am not attracted to him, really!”

“Sure,” smiled Lu. “You jumped so quickly to help him carry that tank just because of your training as a mountain rescuer, right?”

My attempt to confirm it was lost in the new burst of laughter. I felt my face burning with shame like a fire.

“Hey, I am NOT into him! Actually, I couldn’t be less attracted to him! I… I… I, um, told you that he is not my type!”

“We all know what this brings a little later,” smiled Grace. Kindly, to my surprise. The other women started giggling again.

“Come on, girl,” Mommy said. “He is the best catch I have seen in years. Good looking, hardworking, decent, trustworthy, humble, nice – statistically speaking, you probably won’t meet another like him in your life. Go for him!”

“But…” Okay, Mommy and Lu were married, but what about Grace? Sure, she was about fifteen years older, but I had heard about such couples… And…

“Vinnie, wouldn’t you go for him, if he is so good a… catch?”

She just blinked sadly.

“N-no way, Lexie. He is too far out of my league. Won’t even notice u-ugly and limp girl like me. You are the only one here who is h-his match… And he surely already n-n-noticed you. M-men value highly women who try to help them.”

“But—”

“He is yours. G-go for him.”

“But I don’t want to go for him!”

“You don’t need to. Just signal to him that you are available, and he will go for you.” Mommy smiled.

What happened to her fears that I might do that?! And… How I could convince them that this is the very last thing I want?

“That’s what she did,” noted Grace. “And if he hasn’t picked up on it, then he is sure as hell gay. Or even worse.”

I wanted to scream in her face that I hadn’t done anything of the sort. Then, however, imagined what I would feel if a beautiful girl suddenly tries to help me with carrying something heavy. Even I could understand that this would probably be showing way more sympathy than “just helping”.

What that damned bodysuit had gotten me into?! Giving to a most ordinary action a meaning that I never intended. Never suspected that it might have.

Actually, I had gotten myself there. By not understanding the position all women are into. Despite seeing it every day, despite actually knowing it – just not caring to think about it… How easy and straightforward was the life of the men, compared to theirs! Looked like being a man was a privilege indeed. That goth girl might have had some point.

And it looked like the bodysuit was also a blessing in disguise. Apart from the pun, it had helped me to learn so much about women. And about men, too. Things that most people probably learned in an early age, living among other kids, communicating with them, growing up. Unlike me, growing in the mountain among the tough rescuers, with no other kids around. I had missed so many life lessons.

And the disguise had given me a chance to learn them.

* * *

“Hello, dear! I live here. Everybody calls me Aunt Lauretta… You be living at this boy’s, Damiano Rossi?”

God how much I didn’t need to meet her right now! Tired, returning from work, hoping to kick aside the damned heels and skirt… But that had to happen already, Aunt Lauretta would never miss such an occasion. It was strange that it didn’t happen earlier.

“Umm, yes, he rents the apartment to me. During the workdays, that is. He works in the mountain and lives there, returns for the weekends only. And during that time I go to see my parents, so we actually don’t meet…”

“Really? What a pity. Good boy, if a bit shy and… how did you the young say it? Nerdy? They say he was a very good student, it’s shame that he couldn’t find a job until recently. But please, sweetie, come in! My place is modest, I’m just a poor old woman, but one can still learn a thing or two from me!”

I didn’t doubt this at all.

“Are you afraid of me, kid? Don’t be, I just am glad to have a word or two with the young. It is so lonely being old. Please come, I make great tea!” She limped a stride back, supporting herself with a hand on the wall.

I was about to think of some excuse, but her toothless smile suddenly was… well, the same one I knew, but also different. I could literally feel her loneliness, her need for communication and connection to people. In an eyeblink she had turned from the old hag and gossip I knew and despised to a lonely and sad old woman. Who just tried to be accepted, to meet human warmth.

Like a lonely climber stranded up there, in need of support…

“Oh, thank you very much, Aunt Lauretta! I love tea!”

“It is my pleasure, dear. And you are?”

“Alexandra Manzoni, but call me… oh well, Lexie.”

Her apartment was even smaller than mine. A narrow passage opened into a tiny kitchen. On the one side there were two doors, for a bathroom and a living room. Judging by how close they were, and how little space there was for them between the kitchen and the staircase, they had to be minuscule too. The wallpapers were yellowed, but everything smelled somehow… homey. Like a small but nice old house in the villages around the mountain.

The kitchen was modest and old-fashioned, but perfectly clean. The tea was also excellent, I’m a coffee drinker, but it was really good.

Half an hour later, I had already invented an entire history for me. That is, for Lexie. Weaving in the lies I had already told at work – shame… Birthplace away in Africa while my mother held a job there, grown up with a father who is a mountain rescuer. Studying statistics. Meeting myself – that is, Damiano – while seeking for a place to rent, through a professor of mine who knew him. Trusting him after hearing that he is a mountain rescuer too. Making the arrangement to share an apartment. Finding a job, tipped by him…

“How’s that you didn’t go for a job as a model? With your looks, you could become world-famous.”

“Ummm, that would probably be at the cost of selling my body to a lot of people. You surely know how modeling is.” If I was to believe the women at work.

“So what? Tell me of a woman who broke through in another way.”

“What?!” Oh no! Not another SJW, and Aunt Lauretta at that!

“Dear, I know that you the young believe it should be different. However, that’s what it is. Ever seen an ugly woman in a high position?”

I opened my mouth, only to close it. Yes, there were plenty of high-positioned women who weren’t beautiful… but almost all of them looked like they were pretty when they were young. I felt a wave of shame sweeping over me.

“Sweetie, I am sorry for embarrassing you… Okay, let it be your way. Your beauty deserves better than being abused by lecherous men.”

I could just nod.

“So, what do you think of Damiano then? He is a decent and nice boy. A good choice to spend your life with… Didn’t he offer you something? Take you to a restaurant, at least?”

Aaaarrgh! Do women ever think of anything else?

“No, no, he didn’t!… That is, he couldn’t… He was penniless before finding that job, it looks to me. And since then, we haven’t met in person even once. Conflicting schedules, you know…”

“Don’t underestimate him, he might look short, but I think he’s a bit taller than you. And short guys often have good packages. Doesn’t he?”

My face instantly felt like a fire.

“Um… I…” Say that he does, that is I, do? Good idea! But… that would hint that I, that is Lexie… “I don’t know! Have no idea, never seen him undressed…”

“Okay dear, okay. I will not pester you anymore about him.” The understanding smile of Aunt Lauretta was a clear indication what she was thinking. Tomorrow the entire condo would know that I am having an affair with Damiano! And that I am having an affair with Lexie!

That I am having an affair with myself!!!

“Ummm, Aunt Lauretta, I, ummmm, I actually have a boyfriend. He is a colleague at work. Nice guy, a sportsman, very strong physically. I don’t know what might happen to Damiano if he decides that I have an affair with him, so—”

“That is the way it should be, dear. A smart girl would keep them apart and clueless. Having twice the pleasure and the support deserves some inventiveness, doesn’t it?… Okay dear, okay, I will not thread this topic anymore. I see you are shy and modest, a girl should be that. At least before the others…” She got up from the chair with an effort, turned her back to be and started rummaging in an old leather purse.

What was she thinking?! I wasn’t that kind of girl! That is, I wasn’t a girl at all! And even if I was, I wouldn’t be that kind of!… I was boiling on the inside.

“Now, will you be so kind as to help an old woman? My legs aren’t good lately. Could you please buy for me some products from the Aldi at the corner? Here is the list and the money. Keep the charge, if there is any.”

I was about to explode. This… this old hag! How dared she, after everything she told me!…

… This old woman. Who cared for a girl she was seeing for a first time – the way she could. Who wanted for her the best – the best she knew and understood.

Who tried to deal with the loneliness in the only way she knew.

And who needed help – and I had never even thought that she might…

Some man I was. Fancying myself a Great Rescuer, while not seeing someone who needs to be rescued right next to me…

“Of course, Aunt Lauretta. Right now.”

On the stairs I unfolded the shopping list. It was short – half a kilogram of flour, half a kilogram of sugar, an economy pack of salt, a pack of bread, a pack of pasta, a tube of margarine. All of them the cheapest of the kind – I knew it very well, also shopped there before finding the job, it was the cheapest low-cost store around. No meat in the list. No sweets. Nothing to drink – no coffee, not even tea… I remembered that I haven’t seen anything new in her home. She probably survived on a minimal pension, and most of that likely went on medicines. Couldn’t afford even a set of dentures…

In the shop I checked the prices of the products in the list. The total cost was about two Euro short of the bill that she had given me. No doubt she had calculated it in advance – she probably bought these enough times to know their prices well. And had taken something off the list, so there will be some change left. A sum that now was nothing for me – but for her would be a lot…

Half an hour later, I rang her doorbell. She opened the door:

“Thank you so much, dear! You are the only one around who… Huh? What is all that there in?”

“Your groceries, Aunt Lauretta.”

She opened the bag. In there was several times the amount she had requested of everything. The best quality they had. Plus, a can of real butter, four types of soft cheese, a big chocolate, several boxes of fine tea and a bottle of wine that the shop personnel recommended.

“But that costs tens of times more! Wait a bit, I will give you the money—”

“You told me that I can keep the difference. So, I will keep it. You owe me nothing… I mean it. I will not take the money.”

She looked at the bag for a long time, then stared at me with eyes full with tears.

“God bless you, kid. You… you… God bless you… Why? I am just an old woman. The gossip of the block, they say… You don’t have to…”

“Take it, Aunt Lauretta. You deserve it.”

I felt tears in my eyes too.

Part 10

My head had barely touched the pillow when my phone rang. First time in almost a year… Massimo? Is there some problem with my registration?! That is, Lexie’s?

“Yes?”

“… Sorry, I might have mistaken the number. I seek Damiano Rossi.”

Shit!

“Umm, he… he is, ummmmm, a friend of mine. Was here until an hour ago and forgot his phone… I believed it might be him calling from somewhere, seeking where he forgot it…”

“No problems, Miss… Alexandra, if my memory doesn’t slip?”

“Yes…”

“He mentioned you to me several times. Said that you are incredibly beautiful.”

“Oh, it… it is, um, not so… he must have just been polite…” I smugly noted to myself that it actually is true, I was incredibly beautiful!… But that is not me, Lexie is… But she is my girlfriend, so… But that is not really true… My poor head!

“Do you know if he will return to fetch the phone this evening?”

“Ummm… likely no, he was pretty tired… Why don’t you try to call him by Net? He has a screen at home, I think…” Oops! What I should have been doing at Damiano’s home, to have seen the screen? That is, what Lexie should have been doing here? Damn again! What a hint about me… and about me…

“Good idea! Thank you, Alexandra! My apologies for disturbing you and have a good night!”

“Oh, no problems…” He had already closed the phone.

The next moment, a video call message appeared on the screen. The duct tape was still over the cam, the mic was still off – perfect! I grabbed the keyboard and opened a chat instead.

< yeah?

> still havent fixed your mic and cam?

< yeah, keep forgetting about that

> and forgetting your phone at your girls place? :)

< yeah… was tired and distracted… what’s up?

> sure.. i would be too after a visit to her, if she looks like she sounds

> sexy like a dream… you lucky bastard

I sighed quietly.

< what is up?

> seeking one more sherpa for a group of Chinese climbers

> the west face of Cervino, next Wed and Thu, good pay

< sorry, have a weekday job already, a lot of work, they won’t let me off

> pity… okay, sleep well

> and next time you visit her, be again distracted and tired after that! :)

I sighed once again.

* * *

“… After that, you just type the names of the columns for which you want to find correlations, separated with commas, and end them with a dot. See how easy it is? There is nothing arcane in scripting.”

All women smiled, even Grace. However, the usually jolly Lu was wincing.

“Lu? Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes, just Aunt Flo is gonna visit any moment.”

An aunt visiting her at work? Must be a nasty woman, by the look of Lu.

“Don’t worry, Lu.” The floor was clean, the plants appeared watered… What else a nasty woman might create problems with? “We will all be polite with her… Oh, and will say good things about you… What she has against you? Her being old and ugly, while you are young and attractive? And she will go after you even at work? What a nasty hag!…”

All women looked at me astonished, then simultaneously exploded in laughter. Even Lu giggled. Just like when Gab had his theory that… was actually correct.

What I had blundered about now?!

“Lexie, you are the queen of the deadpan,” said Lu. “Thank you for making me forget it for a moment!… Oh…” She reached for her purse and started rummaging inside. “Aargh! I don’t even have a pad! Does any of you have one?”

Oh God! What actually turns out to mean “Aunt Flo”! Damn the women and their indirectness!

Lu looked in turn to everyone, finally stopping on me. Luckily I had seen Sandra shopping for pads in pharmacies.

“Just gimme ten minutes, Lu. What kind you want?”

“`Felicia`, with wings.”

While I was trying to chase off my imagination the image of a menstrual pad with big feathered wings, there was a knock on the door.

“Yes?”

“Is it a convenient moment to connect your desks to the new file storage, ladies? It will take about couple of minutes per desk.” Carlo politely smiled. Before anyone could reply however, he noticed the wince of Lu.

“Toothache?”

Lu nodded quickly.

“Want some aspirin? I too had a toothache a few days ago, still have a few pills with me.” He pulled a small box out of his pocket and offered it to Lu. She took it, nodded gratefully and took two pills out of it. Tried to return the box to Carlo, but he protested:

“Keep it, I don’t need it anymore and you do!”

After Carlo left, Vinnie asked:

“D-did he g-g-guessed it?”

“No way. Men are completely clueless about periods,” Grace replied. “You could mention Aunt Flo in their face and they wouldn’t know who that is.”

“Like L-lexie?” asked Vinnie and winked.

All women exploded with laughter again. I relaxed and forced myself to smile too.

“Luckily.” added Lu, still wincing. “Can you imagine men liking women if they were reminded of our periods? Every man would be revolted.”

I barely stopped myself from saying that it is not so at all.

“You have a talent for comedian, Lexie,” Mommy said. “I almost believed that you don’t know it. I haven’t seen such a perfect deadpan for months. You probably had to train it around the mountain rescuers? Poor girl, with no female company at all up there. Don’t you feel more relaxed with us?”

“Ummm, I do, of course…” I was careful to not look at Grace to see if she is watching me.

“Always the same blushing flower. Little wonder men love you, they fall instantly for modest girls,” Mommy noted. “Don’t worry, we are all women here, it is only normal to discuss periods between us.”

I nodded energetically. Then visited the restroom. Didn’t planned to listen on them, but what I saw that the empty bottle is still there, my curiosity won.

“… considerate as hell,” Mommy was saying. “Smart and sensitive on top of everything.”

Again, glorifying me? I felt tired from all that.

“The ideal man…”

Aaaargh! Will they stop talking about Carlo? They all think only about him!

“Yes, he is hard to believe.” I couldn’t believe my ears – Grace praising someone, and a man at that! “And looks like he is straight too, I noticed him several times checking Lexie. Tries to not be noticed, but you know how good are the men at that.”

Several voices giggled.

“So, you think it is only a matter of time before he makes an advance?” Mommy asked.

“If you were a man, how long you would hold before you make one at Lexie?”

“He is only two weeks here, and appears to be really well behaved. But… if you saw him checking Lexie, things are bound to happen. Neither of them will find a better party. And I think that she only waits for him to open the dance.”

“D-do you think they will invite us to their m-marriage?”

The image of a marriage with me as the bride instantly replaced that of the pad with the wings. And was not amusing at all… Shit, I forgot to buy pads for Lu! Should hurry up. Before the visit of Aunt Flo starts…

* * *

“What about this phone, Miss? Rosy pink goes perfectly to both your eye color and the form of your face. Entirely voice operated, doesn’t even have a touch interface. And look at all the new functions! Gossip with Influencers, Fashion Hints, it has all them… See, you can just select a dress from the latest online collections, tell the phone to turn on the selfie camera and will see yourself wearing it.”

“Thank you, but I would prefer something… how to say it? More functional… It will be the phone I am using while at work, will not need fashion hints there…” Phones for men were that, but I didn’t dared to drop any hint that I’m actually male.

“Oh, I get it!” He didn’t stop for even a moment to check me head to toe. And his smile would probably revolt every girl, it sure as hell was revolting me. “No fashion will ever make any other girl so beautiful! What work do you do, Miss? Are you a fashion model? Or an influencer?”

“I’m a statistician.” His stare immediately went blank, and I tried to explain. “It is mathematical processing of information, to find in there correlations and… Well, simply said, find stuff in data…”

“Isn’t math something for AIs? Girls like you deserve much better. Popularity, human warmth, closeness—”

“Thank you, I prefer it. Will you offer me a more functional phone?”

Ten minutes later, I was already on the verge of kicking his ass, not caring if that will break my disguise. Not only all phones for girls turned out to be bimbo accessories, but he was hitting on me more and more transparently. When I finally left the shop with a small clam-like phone (“but that is for grandmothers, beauty!” I felt a relief that words cannot express.

And women have to suffer that every day! Worse still, many of them sincerely believe that this is what a woman should have. What a woman should be…

* * *

“D-do you think the company will c-celebrate Women’s Day somehow?” Vinnie asked while we were putting on the work uniforms.

Women’s Day?… Oh, it is March 8! I had forgotten about it! Like always…

“Yes, there will be gifts for all women, from the men. Actually, from the company” Lu replied. “The Boss wouldn’t have it otherwise. An old school gentleman.”

“Looks like he is not the only gentleman,” Mommy noted, glancing through the small window of the room. “Carlo is also bringing flowers. Wonder for whom.” She smiled at me.

I don’t know what face I made, but all women in the room giggled.

“Don’t be so scared, girl!” Mommy said. “You are made for one another. And if he bought flowers for you, this is his invitation, isn’t it?”

She appeared so convinced that I barely constrained myself from laughing. Made for one another? Me and Carlo? Gosh… Though I had to admit to myself that he would make a great friend. I silently promised to myself that after I drop this damn masquerade, I would try to teach him climbing.

About fifteen minutes after we have moved to our room, there was a knock on the door. Lu got up and opened it:

“Come in, Carlo. May we help you with something?”

“With being happy and blessed today, and in all the days to come!” smiled Carlo while entering. He took several flowers from behind his back and gave one to Mommy:

“May all men around love and honor you, Ms. Rodolfo!”

“Oh, thank you!” Mommy was keeping her composure, but even I could tell that she is surprised. And moved.

“May your smile always bring happiness to the others, Ms. Calvano!”

“Thank you Carlo, you are so kind!” Lu blinked several times, took the flower and tried to curtsy, making Mommy smile.

“May you always be sunny and nice, and a bit less shy, Vinnie!”

“T-t-t-thank you, C-c-c-carlo! Thank you!” Vinnie blushed so deeply that I was for a moment afraid that something might happen to her.

“May your beauty and kindness never wane, Lexie!”

I was speechless. A man giving a flower to me. That is, to Lexie, not to me. But I am Lexie, and must react somehow. How a girl should act?! Gosh, how complex is to be a woman!

“Thank you, Carlo. May, ummm, your nobility never wane too.” I smiled and took the flower. Damn that masquerade!… But, to be honest before myself, Carlo indeed was the dream of every woman.

“Ladies, do you know if Grace will be at work today?” The room door behind Carlo opened and he turned to it. “Hello, Grace! May you always be so smart, curious, strong and lucky too!”

Grace blinked at the sight of the flower. Then took it carefully.

“Thank you, Carlo. May all men be like you.” I am not sure, but I think I heard a slight sigh. She indeed appeared to not have been lucky with men. Could it be that this was why she was so nasty, not the other way round?

“Dear ladies, do you know where Aunt Maria might be?”

“Likely cleaning the floor below, she works for them too,” I heard the voice of Fabricia from the foyer. I suddenly guessed that she has received a flower too.

Carlo smiled at us again and left the room, one flower still in his hand. The moment the door closed, all women looked one at another:

“Gosh, what a gentleman! I just can’t believe my eyes!” Lu sighed.

“Unbelievable boy,” nodded Mommy. “The perfect man. Never seen anyone like him at his age. So few, even at any age.”

“S-s-straight out of movies. D-did not forgot even the f-f-floor sweeper. Lexie, you m-must be m-m-mad to miss him!”

All women looked at me. I didn’t know what to say.

“They are right, Lexie.” This was Grace. “You can’t imagine how lucky you are to have a chance for such a man. Don’t miss him.”

The surprise from her speaking to me normally took me back to the reality.

“But I told you that he is not my type!… Ummmm, should I hurry to marry so young?”

All women spoke at the same time:

“Of course! Absolutely! And if he is as good in the bed too…”

“Have him as a boyfriend, and you will want to marry him very soon!”

“G-g-go for him! R-right now! Lexie, you are the l-l-luckiest girl in the world! If I c-could…”

“If he does not turn out to be a pervert or a junkie, he is indeed a good catch…”

I again didn’t know what to say. To hide it, I took a coffee cup and filled in with water in the restroom. Carefully cut the stem of the flower with a slant – this way they live longer, I knew it from Sandra – and put it in the cup.

The women again exchanged glances. Meaningful ones.

I wasn’t happy being the center of attention, especially when the topic was this. However, I had to admit that Carlo was way more a man than me. I likely wouldn’t guess to buy flowers for the girls for Women’s Day, and even if I was reminded, possibly wouldn’t think of buying one for the floor sweeper too. Heck, I didn’t even knew her name before Carlo mentioned it – and he was here for less than a month, half the time I was…

Gosh, he was indeed a real man. I fancied myself one, being a mountaineer and climber, but clearly could not compare to him…

But I could learn from him. And would, at every occasion, I promised to myself.

Part 11

The next couple of days the women discussed for all the day only how stupid I should be to not go for Carlo, and how stupid he should be to not go for me. Even when I was in the restroom, I eavesdropped – the topic was the same. Again, I heard Grace to say that I am likely lesbian, because of not going for Carlo. And that he is for sure gay, or trans, or worse if he doesn’t go for me as soon as possible.

I was just about to erupt at that, but then remembered that Grace is maybe not really nasty – just very, very bitter, likely for a reason. And instead of anger I felt pity for her. But also noted that this time the other women appeared much closer to agreeing with her, and this again made me edgy.

And the next morning things took the turn I was afraid of. About an hour after starting work, Carlo entered our room. Came to my desk, smiled and asked politely:

“Lexie, could you teach me some statistics? The computer system of the company is already in a good shape and I have plenty of free time. Could use it to help the work with simple things.”

“Of course.” The moment I said it, I noticed how carefully all women pretend to be head deep in work and not notice our talk.

“Would you permit me as a compensation to invite you to a dinner? For example, are you free this evening? They have a free table for two at Portobello’s, I just checked. We could go, say, at 9pm?”

I gulped. How to refuse him?

Suddenly I was aware that all women listen carefully what I will answer. Grace was halfway to guessing about my masquerade, and the other women were starting to believe her…

“Ummmmm, yes, I will be free.” I would find some way to untangle myself from this later. Even in the steepest mountain, there is always more than one route. Some might be hard, but if you have no choice, you take them.

“Where you would prefer us to meet? I can pick you up from home.”

“Oh, don’t bother, I can easily come to the restaurant myself. Umm, 9pm there?”

“Yes. I will reserve the table to our names.”

The moment he closed the door, all women started speaking at the same time:

“Congratulations! You had him make the first move, now all you need is to follow!”

“Portobello’s? This is not a cheap place at all. He must value you highly.”

“G-g-go get him! He is yours, L-lexie! Go!”

“And don’t forget to get a pack of condoms. A man like him would have thought of that, but still…”

I nearly froze. Having sex as a girl?!?! I remembered the manual of the damned bodysuit saying that you could have sex in it exactly like a real woman. And that you would feel even better than one. But there was no way I would do that if the hell freezes over. As if everything else was not enough…

“Umm, I believe that a girl shouldn’t have sex the first time she goes out with a guy,” I feverishly started remembering excuses from rom-com movies. “It can be considered indecent. Oh, and he might start believing that I am easy, and lose respect for me…”

Grace lifted up a brow. I prepared to hear something nasty, but she supported me instead:

“Lexie is right. Carlo must be mad to not wait a few dates for sex if he wants a girl like her. And if he wouldn’t wait, then he is nothing like what he appears to be. A good test for him”

“Ummm, that is true, and ummm, I am not ready for being with a man yet.” To say the least, I thought. “Wouldn’t it be better to wait a bit that? I could tell Carlo that I got a problem—”

“Don’t be afraid, Carlo is so tactful! There is no way he will force you to be close with him.”

“What h-has to come, will come. D-don’t be afraid, Lexie.”

“And when it comes, you will like it, trust me…”

“Better go, even if you are not ready. If he is as decent a man as he looks… And don’t forget the condoms.”

They were right about one thing. Carlo definitely would never force himself on me. And being with him for a dinner meant that I would be able to learn things about how a real man should behave. I knew I was lacking social skills – this was an opportunity to catch up with them.

And, most definitely, I didn’t needed condoms, there was absolutely no way I could get pregnant. Poor women were who had to think about this too, and to take measures about it.

How much easier was my life than theirs, even as Lexie! How privileged I was, compared to them!

I snapped out of my thoughts, to find a silence. All women were looking at me.

“Okay, I will go.”

And will then seek a way to get out of this mess.

* * *

“Ummm, are you sure that I need to—”

“Of course! That’s why he gave you three hours after work! You don’t want to go on a date in your everyday clothes, do you?”

What the hell was wrong with a blouse, skirt and heels? I had seen so many times girls going with boys in jeans and sneakers! And I sure as hell wouldn’t pay attention what clothes the girl I meet wears...

“Well, umm, aren’t they good enough for a date? They are my best—”

“For a first date?! Not even close!” Mommy stated categorically.

“That is why you must buy something better! Do it, or else we will buy it for you!”

“Lu is right. You always care for everyone. We learned this lesson – it is time now for us to help you.”

“D-down there, couple of b-blocks from our building, t-there is a professional makeup studio. You c-could use them before going to the r-restaurant.”

“Do you think I need to?” Oh God!!!

“For a first date – absolutely! No matter how perfect is your appearance. This is how you show to a man that you honor his advances.”

I was sure that 99% of men would not get this specific hint. But Carlo… who knows? If he is so tactful and smart…

“Okay, I will consider it.” Hopefully they wouldn’t know that I skipped it.

“Great!… This is the shop I was talking about. Come in!”

“Ummmm… It looks expensive… Could I buy after work a dress from a shop near my place, I know it—”

Mommy turned back to me:

“Lexie, you are very intelligent, but not very experienced with men. Please, let me do for you what I did for my own daughter. What your mother would do for you if she was alive. What every mother does for her daughters, and every girl needs to be done for her. Where else you will get what you need to deal with men?”

Uncle Franco had never taught me how to deal with women, and I was pretty sure that most fathers never do it. However, who could guess what women will do?… I followed them inside.

“Okay, let’s see… What about this dress? This shade of burgundy would go very well with your hair color, and will set off your eyes.”

“Ummm, isn’t it too… open? And a bit short—”

“What’s wrong with mid-thigh? We are not in Saudi Arabia!” Lu cut in.

“You need to signal to Carlo that you aren’t an ice queen, but know very well the great value of your beauty,” stated Mommy gravely. “And that you have the self-confidence to show it, and he shouldn’t take you for granted.”

God, how many hints and signals the women have to send… and the men never notice!

“Or, what about this? A bit daring for a first date, but great!”

“Uh… isn’t that an underwear?…” Seeing their faces, I quickly corrected myself. “I mean, if I bent just a little, everyone around will see my private parts—”

“You will not bend, of course! And see how much leg it shows, with your legs it will be a benefit.”

“With my breasts too?” I was about to explode.

“Of course! Ever noticed where the eyes of the men are all the time?…”

“I did, but… It is not the most pleasant thing, at least to me…” Suddenly it came to me that if so many women wear so revealing outfits, they must find something in that. “Um, of course, that has its advantages, but still… I am a bit, umm, conservative. Would prefer a bit more modesty for a first date…”

“Okay, okay, you blushing flower. Grown among men, and yet having no clue how they perceive women. Hope Carlo has the patience with you… Let’s say that it is not time yet for the little black dress.”

The little black dress from the rom-coms? Not time YET?! That is…?!

“But we are taking the burgundy dress. Try it, I want to see if it fits you well!”

I went to the dressing room, clenching teeth. To my surprise, the dress fit me like a glove. The only problem was how short it was. And how open. It was impossible to pull it up enough to cover my breasts. The breasts of the bodysuit, that is. And if I tried to pull it even a centimeter down, to cover my legs just a tiny bit better, the breasts would pop out of it. No matter how carefully I tried, the result was always that. And women call this a clothing!

After my experience with women and this bodysuit, I was starting to understand why they inflict that on themselves. They needed to feel valued and appreciated in a world, made by and for men. To the degree of willing to use their bodies and themselves as playthings and pleasure objects for men…

I remembered how I approached Sandra for sex every time I wanted it, and how rarely she refused me. Only when she was on her period, thinking of it… Was I a sex god that is never refused by women? Certainly not. Surely she just accepted and tolerated sex that she didn’t want, just to please me. And I never even guessed it. Some man I was. Not only Carlo – likely most men were better than me.

Or most men were indeed pigs. Without even realizing it…

There was a delicate knock on the door.

“L-l-lexie, are you o-okay?”

“Yes, yes, just coming out…”

The women met me with huge smiles.

“You are stunning!” Mommy exclaimed. “Do you like how you look in it?”

Shit! There was a mirror in the dressing room, but I didn’t think to check my appearance!

“Ummm, yes…”

“Yes only? Hell yes! Give us a strut!… Yes! You look so good in it! Carlo would be madly in love with you, that is for granted!”

Goshhh… What I tangled myself into? Wouldn’t even the prison be a better idea?

Maybe not. From what I had read about prisons, I would be used for sex there too. Even as a male. By guys far less polite and nice than Carlo.

Here I could think of some way to get out of all this. Drop the job and disappear. Throw out the damned bodysuit…

But it would be nice to put some money aside first. Hold on for a month at least. Two if possible. These times…

And to stay for longer in disguise, for the case the intelligence guys are still after me!

“Higher heels would go with this dress even better, Lexie. Buy a pair?”

“No wa… that is, not yet! I, ummm, I still cannot walk well in them. Wouldn’t like to fall, or even break a leg. Umm, especially not on a first date…”

“She’s good like this too, Lu.”

“Yes, she would be stunning even in military boots, but still…”

While pretending to catwalk, I had reached another mirror. And just couldn’t take my eyes off the girl in it. She was… stunning didn’t even started to describe it. “Perfect” was the exact word. Beauty and femininity embodied. God, I would do anything to have her for a girlfriend.

But she could be anyone’s except mine. And could exist only if I was her. And Carlo would likely also be ready to do anything to have her. That is, me. As her…

If there was a circle in Hell for the womanizers, they surely would be locked there in such bodysuits. Or maybe they were in Heaven, serving as escorts for the most highly deserving people. That should be why Dante didn’t describe them in “Inferno”…

“Don’t worry, Lexie! Whatever it is, I bet that men will never notice it! Even Carlo will not!” Mommy said encouragingly.

“Umm, yes, I am sure… Just thinking of, umm, work…”

“Thinking of work now? Girl, you are crazy! Try better this dress here too, one is absolutely not enough, this surely will not be your last date!”

“Ummm… This one is even shorter!”

“Well, it is not as short as the LBD. And you will need a shorter dress for the next dates, wouldn’t you?”

“Ummmm, sure, I likely would—”

“Finally! Are you still sure that you do not want higher heels?…”

While returning to the office, I was thinking how small the problem with wearing a dress was, compared to the mess I was about to fall in.

After all, a dress was not that different from a skirt suit, and I was already used to these…

* * *

I arrived at the restaurant exactly on time. Turned out, Carlo was already waiting for me.

“Thank you for coming, Lexie! Would you please come in?”

At the table reserved for us, Carlo held a chair for me. I felt like an impostor and surely blushed, but there was no way to prevent it. So I did what I hoped a girl should do – sat down, smiled and thanked him. Before he could take his seat, a uniformed waiter was already standing next to us and waiting patiently.

“The dinner is on me – no objections accepted!” stated Carlo. “As a compensation for your lessons on statistics.”

I sighed silently and smiled and thanked again. Ordered chicken soup and salad only – it wouldn’t be fair to abuse Carlo’s kindness.

“Are you sure, Lexie? Wouldn’t you like a fried salmon filet too, they are famous for it here? Or—”

“No, thank you. You see, ummmm, I have to watch out for my weight. You know, we girls do…” Pretending so explicitly to be a girl was still embarrassing.

“Do not worry at all. If a man will not love you because of even the biggest weight gain, he does not deserve you,” Carlo smiled.

And I would swear that he is being absolutely honest. An incredible man…

“Thank you again, Carlo…” I suddenly realized that this goes more date-y than I wanted. “Would you want to have a talk about statistics while our orders arrive?”

“Of course!”

I had barely explained the very basics of the statistics when the food arrived. It was really good, I didn’t even dare to think how costly it was. Poor Carlo… And he was incredibly good at keeping company. As good as the best gentlemen from the rom-com movies, if not even better. A real girl would likely be as relaxed and happy around him as one could ever be. Even I was, despite being edgy in this situation.

Did the damned bodysuit affect my thinking too? If I was into men, I would already be in love with Carlo. Even without that, I felt him as a great friend. Hell, I felt guilty for not being a real woman for him. He absolutely deserved the best girl ever. The women at work were so right, he was indeed the perfect man.

Unlike me. There was so much I could learn from him about being a man!

And I learned. Tried to notice and remember every little gesture of his. And most of all, how he really thought of me instead of himself, in everything. I remembered how often I thought of myself instead of thinking of Sandra, and felt a wave of shame. What a poor excuse of a man I was, compared to Carlo!

Part 12

After the dinner – and two big ice creams, on Carlo’s insistence – we came out. It was already dark, the evening was warm – the ideal time for a romance. If only I was Carlo instead of Lexie…

He would expect something from me, even very little. Just cutting him off would be really nasty after accepting this dinner. And he really deserved to be with a beautiful girl… How to manage the situation? What to do, so that we neither get intimate, nor he is just left high and dry?…

“Nice evening, Lexie. Would you want to take a walk in a park? There is one just a block away.”

There would be people walking in the park now, even if not many. I would be keeping him company, but getting intimate wouldn’t be appropriate. Perfect!

“I would love it, Carlo. Let’s go!”

To my surprise, the park turned out almost empty. Luckily, Carlo didn’t try to touch me or anything. Held my hand on some bridges over the stream passing through the park, but nothing more. We talked about how the different trees smell while blooming, told me about some stars we could see. I understood that this is a first step to further things, but so far it appeared okay to me. And was the best lesson ever on how to be nice and unobtrusive with a girl.

The more we walked, the more things about him I noticed. For example, he always left the space for me away from cracks on the walk that could catch on my heels, dirty or muddy places, pieces of garbage, low-hanging branches of trees – anything that a girl wouldn’t like to meet. Couple of times batted away from me early night butterflies. Walked exactly with my speed, leaving me to pick the pace most convenient for me. Thinking of me, not of himself. The real man – so much more man than me…

In the middle of a bridge, he stopped and turned towards me.

“Being with you is a pleasure, Lexie. Could we come here some other time too?”

I felt cold coming down my spine. That was to be expected, and was as tactful as likely only Carlo could make it, but still…

Looked around. There was one couple about a hundred meters ahead of us, walking away. Nobody more…

What could I do to stop this from developing further? Was I right to give Carlo hopes that could never come true?

But could I also just drop him like some bitch? I had plenty of contempt for girls who use and then discard boys. Did I want to do exactly that?

And what would the women think if I rejected him? Wouldn’t my masquerade be uncovered very soon? Possibly before I could do anything to even just disappear? They were pretty close…

And wouldn’t, if I dropped the masquerade and sought a job as myself, the agents of that intelligence find me? Having used the bodysuit for months already? Would they even leave me alive after that?

Carlo was waiting patiently. Probably thinking that I am delaying my answer to play with him… I felt my blood coming to my face again. And knew that the bodysuit shows that too, and the lamps around gave enough light to show it…

“Yes, of course—”

In the middle of my sentence however Carlo tensed:

“Shh!” He pointed ahead.

In the same instant there was a woman’s scream. I quickly turned there. The man that was with her was lying on the walk, and she struggled with another man who was trying to twist her arm.

I immediately ran towards them, but the damned heels and the dress were delaying me. In less than a second Carlo overtook me, bellowing like a loudspeaker:

“LEAVE HER, BASTARD! I WILL KILL YOU!”

The attacker turned to us, then let the woman go and ran away. Carlo ran past her and continued chasing him. A couple of seconds later I was also there.

“Are you okay, Miss?”

“I’m okay, but Hans—”

The man was strangely crouched, like if he had had an epileptic seizure. But he couldn’t likely have one exactly while being attacked?… I dropped on my knees next to him. He was not breathing! I instantly started resuscitating him. Meanwhile, the girl was talking on the phone:

“We got attacked, Dad… Yes, I’m okay… He appears hurt, but a girl here is helping him… Her boyfriend chased the attacker away… Yes, my GPS is on… We will wait for them… Okay, I love you.”

A few seconds later I head heavy breathing and the voice of Carlo:

“He managed to lose me, Miss. I apologize for this. Are you okay? I see your jacket is torn…”

“No problems, I am fine. My bodyguard is not, but your girlfriend is helping him already.”

“Do you need something? Call the police?”

“They are coming already. Thank you very much for the help! Without you, I don’t know what could happen to me. And to Hans too.”

“Do not worry, Miss. You are safe. We will be with you.”

“Thank you again… Isn’t that the police?”

I heard the roar of a car engine, coming at speed on the alley. A few seconds later there was screeching of brakes and opening of car doors.

“Miss, were you attacked?”

“Yes, Officer. My bodyguard is hurt.”

“Enrico, call ER. These two people?”

“They saved us from the attacker. I am very grateful to them…”

In a couple more minutes the ambulance arrived too. The man on the ground had a stable heartbeat, but still needed help with breathing. Luckily, the ambulance had a rebreather. One of the ER techs quickly checked the man and looked towards me:

“Good job, Miss. He appears to be hit with a high-power taser – if it wasn’t for your help, we might have been too late.”

I didn’t know what to say. It was so normal for a mountain climber to resuscitate someone.

“Mademoiselles, Mister, I need to take your statements.” said one of the policemen. “Please come with us to the PD, I will drop you anywhere you want after that.”

“Could we just leave, Officer?” asked Carlo. “It is late already and tomorrow we have to be at work.”

“Sorry, Mister, that is our procedure” sighed the policeman. “Please come, I will try to make it as quick as possible.”

* * *

The police department turned out to be close to the park. Filling and signing the forms the policeman gave us took less than ten minutes. When we left the room however, we saw in the corridor waiting a massively built man about fifty in an obviously expensive suit. The park girl ran to him:

“Hi, Daddy! I am just fine, not even a scratch.”

“Glad to hear that. Hans is improving quickly too. And I guess this beautiful couple are the people who saved both you and him? Miss, Mister, I am immensely grateful for your help. Without it, my daughter could now be raped or killed. Whom we owe this?”

Carlo hesitated. I did too – my identity was likely law-proof, but still…

“But where are my manners? My name is Gianfranco Puglisi.” He smiled warmly. Carlo however visibly tensed.

What was up?

“I am Alexandra Manzoni” I took the initiative.

“Carlo Gatti,” Carlo added hesitantly.

Puglisi regarded him carefully.

“Am I making you uncomfortable, Mr. Gatti?”

Carlo said nothing, but his tension could be felt even more strongly.

Puglisi sighed:

“You have heard some nasty things about me?”

Carlo hesitantly nodded.

“Of course, they aren’t true. I am a law-abiding financier and investor. Any rumors to the contrary are just a slander.” Puglisi looked at Carlo. There was something in his eyes that… well, not threatening, but somehow still scary.

“I am sorry, Mr. Puglisi. One just hears things…”

It suddenly dawned on me what these rumors probably said. And that they were likely true to the dot.

Puglisi sighed again. Then nodded to the policeman who accompanied us. The uniformed guy nodded back and quickly went away.

“Come, please. Let me tell you something.”

I was really scared, both for myself and for Carlo. But if this guy just ordered the police in their own PD like he is their boss, we had no choice… Puglisi invited us in the room we wrote our sstatements in and directed us to sit around the table.

“There is something you might benefit from knowing.”

I was all ears, even if scared. Carlo had paled slightly, but listened too.

“Mafia bosses might not be good people, but they know this and are not proud with it. They have been good people before, no one is born bad. And when they see people who continue to be good, they feel a lot of sympathy and warmth for them… Also, they love their children like everyone else. And when someone saves the life of a child of theirs, they value this very highly. More highly than most people do – they know better than most people what danger is.”

Puglisi kept silent for some time, then continued:

“Of course I am not one of them, I deny this most categorically. However, I happen to be rich enough to afford rewarding you for saving my child.” He pulled two gold-encrusted bank cards out of the inside pocket of his jacket. “These are yours. Do not be afraid to use them, I guarantee that they will never connect you to anything illegal. The life of my daughter costs to me more than can be measured in money, but money is all I have to thank you with.”

“No, Mr. Puglisi” said Carlo categorically. “We both are employed and draw excellent salaries, in times when many people barely survive. If we take these cards, it will be to donate the money on them to those who struggle financially. Better donate them yourself, they are your money and you deserve the credit for helping those in need.”

“I agree,” I joined. “I absolutely believe you that nothing bad will come to us from using these cards. However, I know what is to be without income today. There are so many people who need money more than us. Let them have these – you would know much better than us who they are and how to reach them.”

For some time Puglisi said nothing, just scrutinized us. Then put the bank cards back in his pocket.

“If that is your will, that is where these money will go. But I remain indebted to you.” Two old-fashioned business cards appeared in his hand. “If you need anything, absolutely no matter what, just call me. I am a man of honor – will not abandon you in need.”

* * *

“Did you kiss?”

“No, we didn’t… The situation was not right, we were never alone. And you know, Carlo is a true gentleman. Will not press for a first kiss where other people are present…”

“Did he at least hold your hand?”

“Only when crossing bridges in the park.” God, when they will stop the questioning?

“Still a start. Did it feel good?”

“Ummmm, yes, of course… How it could not be, with a man like him…” I felt my face burning due to the embarrassment. Probably even more because, well, it didn’t feel sexually good, but somehow left the feeling of rock-hard stability and reliability. No matter how much I felt embarrassed by that, I almost wished to be a real girl. One surely would be really happy with Carlo.

“Girls, let’s stop embarrassing Lexie. If that is her first date, she will have a lot to process, given how shy she is. Let’s go for the work.”

I was so grateful to Mommy for that!

About an hour later, Fabricia entered the room:

“Lexie, could you come and see The Boss?”

I went to his office, not knowing what to expect. After entering, I saw that Carlo is already there. The Boss was concentrated on his desk, typing something. After a few seconds he finished it and looked at us:

“I am glad to see you, Ms. Manzoni, Mr. Gatti. And also proud, I should say.”

I looked at Carlo, feeling perplexed. He looked at me too, and I could see the same feeling in his eyes.

“I was called today by an assistant of none other than Gianfranco Puglisi. He congratulated me with having real heroes in my company. Told me how you have saved the life of his daughter. Emphasized on that Mr. Puglisi feels deeply grateful and indebted to you.” The Boss smiled.

“We didn’t do much,” Carlo replied, very carefully selecting his words. “Just saw a girl being attacked in the park and ran to help her. The attacker ran away, not creating any problems. I believe that Mr. Puglisi does not need to be indebted to us at all.”

The Boss raised a brow and looked at me.

“Carlo is right, we did practically nothing,” I agreed. “Just happened to be there at that time… By the way, who is Gianfranco Puglisi?”

Both The Boss and Carlo looked at me with surprise.

“Puglisi is the capo of the biggest and the strongest Mafia group in Italy,” The Boss explained. “One of the most powerful people in the country. He is the creator of what the media call ‘the modern Mafia’. Statistically speaking, the chance to save his daughter is practically zero. The chance for her needing to be saved is practically zero, to start with. You must be incredibly lucky.”

Huh?! The man we talked to yesterday was definitely a mafioso… but the most powerful in Italy?!

“Some say that he returns the Mafia to its roots. Others dispute it, pointing to the excellence of his people with high-tech and the proficiency in its usage. I personally believe that he does both, and also incorporates a lot of know-how from the Japanese ‘gumi’, together with some cutting-edge economy theory… In any case, he is both the nicest Mafia don Italy has seen, albeit this doesn’t amount to much, and the most dangerous one if you cross him. As you surely already guess, if he feels indebted to you, a boss that even only tries to abuse you would meet a horrible fate minutes after Puglisi learns about it. In fact, the call I got was a nicely worded warning to that.” He smiled.

“You never abused me or Carlo!” I jumped. “I cannot even imagine a nicer company to work than yours! You were ready to fire Filippo Mastroianni just because he inadvertently created the impression of harassing me! Please do not worry about that at all! I will tell all that personally to Puglisi if you have problems with him!”

“I trust you about that. More than to anyone else I know,” nodded The Boss.

“I can say the same – you are a true man of honor” added Carlo. “You not only kept your promise about that reward, but also didn’t used an opportunity to skip it completely. I have nothing but highest praise for you, and will not hesitate to tell Puglisi this.”

“By the way, how is that Puglisi is so powerful?” I asked. “Is he more brutal than any other don, or what?”

“In Mafia quarrels, he is,” answered The Boss. “Eight years ago, the Ndrangheta decided to open a war against his growing influence. All of their top dons were immediately killed, in a single night. Turned out, he knew perfectly well who and where they were, to the last one. All was done with incredible precision, none of them survived and no proof who did it was found… And while the lower levels were still trying to reconnect and organize, the police arrested them all – it had received lists with their names, proofs about their crimes etc. Everything needed to put them in jail. The police got a huge credit for destroying them, but nobody doubts that Puglisi provided the info and the leverage for the police to act on it.”

I gulped, remembering how he ordered the policemen in their own PD.

“On the other hand, being on his good side is helpful. If your town gets an insurance against damages with his companies, it is costly, but all kinds of vandalism simply disappear. Street crime too. Every nuisance around gets advised by Puglisi’s men that just being there is already bad for his life. Your town is hit by a quake or similar – Puglisi will weigh on the government to help you generously, and will make sure that not a single penny of the help is stolen en route. Even the government plays with him – where his people come in, he makes some profits, but all of them are legal, and any corruption and crime there ends for good.”

“He ends corruption and crime?!” I couldn’t believe my ears.

“Or else it will make rich some other capo, and Puglisi is smart enough to not allow it… People around know that politicians that are rumored to be involved with him will never steal, if they value their life. Sure, they will make services and favors to Puglisi, but never illegal ones. And Puglisi will take care in return for everyone to benefit.”

“Same is on lower level. Your business insures with insurers connected to him – it costs an arm and a leg, but suddenly tons of businesses in all of Europe are happy to work with you, you easily cover the insurance expense and make profits on top of it. You don’t know where to invest this money – the investment funds with Puglisi behind them charge a hefty tax for their service, but provide returns that cover this tax and beat anyone else’s returns on top of that. You need any kind of supplies – a Puglisi-connected consultant will charge you a lot, but you will get excellent quality, always in time and will never be cheated, to the degree it’s more than worth the payment to the consultant. You want to develop your business and need a loan – if you insure it with Puglisi, a loan from his banks is low-interest for you, sometimes zero. You can’t return it in time – the bank will help you improve your income, will give you more time, additional loans etc. You still fail through no fault of your own, thanks to unforeseeable circumstances, and can’t return the loan – you will have to sell your excesses to cover the losses, but can keep a modest home and car, and remaining debt is forgiven with no strings attached. You try again doing business, showing that you learned the lesson – Puglisi’s people are again happy to work with you, you are more valuable to them than a beginner…”

“Sounds strange. A Mafia capo that is so benevolent and fair…” I still had doubts.

“Nothing pays more than benevolence and fairness, when used wisely. A statistician should know that.” The Boss smiled to us. “Now, Puglisi or not, I am really happy and proud that you have been heroes, in so many things.”

“Many things?” Carlo looked at him inquisitively.

“I was told also that you both donated yesterday evening five millions each to charities that care for the homeless and the hungry.” The Boss smiled again. “Don’t worry, I guess what happened. But also that you could keep the money to yourselves, and chose instead to help the others. Knowing people like you must make proud everyone. I certainly am.”

I returned to The Boudoir, trying to somehow assimilate the news. The women there however didn’t leave me any chance to ponder over it:

“You donated five millions?! You could have lived the rest of your life off them!”

Fabricia heard something and talked to them? Surely…

“T-t-that was so noble of you, L-lexie! Was t-t-that mafioso scary?”

“So Carlo refused those money too? Just when he might have to provide for a family? So unreasonable of him.”

I felt the blood rushing to my head. They can speak and think whatever they want of me, but Carlo deserved better!

“Both Carlo and I have been without income, barely surviving. Now we have decent salaries, but so many people now still just survive. They need that money more than us. We decided it together. It was the only way for both us to be who we are. That is worth more than all the money in the world.”

For a couple of minutes, there was a complete silence. Finally, Lu sighed:

“This is the kind of thinking that has made Lexie and Carlo… well, themselves. The people whom we like so much, whom we admire and learn from. Girls, looks like Lexie has yet more lessons to teach us… Still, how exactly this all happened? Please tell us…”

Part 13

“Do you want to start the day with a lesson on scripting?” I asked, while entering our room. “Huh? What are these envelopes?” On each of our desks there was a nicely looking envelope.

“Invitations to the birthday of The Boss,” Mommy explained. “Every year he invites all workers in the company to a dinner in a restaurant.”

I opened mine. There was a single sheet of glossy paper inside, with nicely printed text:

“Dear Ms. Manzoni,

It is a pleasure for me to invite you to a modest dinner. It will take place tomorrow evening, in “Palladio” at 79 Carlo Colodi St., 21:00. If you have a significant other, they are welcome too.

With kindest regards,

Sergio Montafun”

Significant other? Now they will start asking me again…

“Ummm, Vinnie, do you have someone to invite?” I didn’t dare to even think about asking Grace.

“N-no…”

“Don’t worry, girls. For all I know, Tony and Gab don’t have significant others too. You can pair with them.”

“B-but do we have to p-pair? Can’t we just come and b-be there?”

“After the dinner, there usually is some dancing,” Mommy noted. “So you will have to dance with someone.”

“I c-c-c-c-can’t d-d-d-dance! N-n-not with my l-l-leg!” Vinnie was on the verge of crying.

“You can come in a long dress or skirt, no need to show it,” Lu tried to calm her.

“I l-l-l-l-l-limp! C-c-c-c-c-can’t h-h-hide it! T-t-t-they will b-b-b-e r-r-revolted!” Tears streaked down on Vinnie’s face.

This was absolute nonsense!… How to calm her? I had to…

“Do not worry at all, Vinnie. No man will be revolted by you. Even if you limped much more than now. I am sure about it.”

“H-h-h-how c-c-could you b-b-be s-sure?”

“I, ummmmm… I have, ummmm, I have seen many times groups coming up the mountain to the rescue station. With boys and girls… They often dance together… There have been girls who limp…” Suddenly a memory dashed through my head. “A year ago, there was a girl who didn’t had a leg at all, had a prosthesis instead. She danced with several boys, and all of them were happy to dance with her. And you worry about some limping that is really hard to notice!”

“But… but wouldn’t t-t-they be revolted that I’m d-d-disabled?”

“Most men will not even notice it. They aren’t as observational as women.”

“And they tend to observe in women things other than limping,” Lu interjected.

“No real man will ever be revolted by this!” I put the dot over the “i”.

“Says the real man,” Lu winked. All women exploded with laughter, including Vinnie. The first moment I nearly jumped with offense. Luckily, managed to calm myself and to join the laughter. After all, to them it surely this joke looked funny, given my appearance.

And to me it looked partially true, too. Carlo had showed to me how far from a real man I am. And taking an offense about it only proved that. I had raised the topic that hurt Vinnie – I owed her apologies and support. And, instead of about her, I was thinking of myself only…

I was indeed behaving like a spoiled princess. One with male parts instead of female. And even that only when not in the bodysuit…

“Lexie is right,” Grace nodded. “If someone wouldn’t take you because of a bad leg, then they aren’t someone you’d want to be with, even if you were perfectly healthy.”

“B-but—”

“Just come, Vinnie. I am sure that you will enjoy it,” nodded Mommy.

I felt relief – the topic had switched away from me.

Turned out, not for long.

“Do you have an official dress, Lexie?”

A wave of dread splashed over me. There were plenty of scenes in rom-coms with official events, and women always wore gowns that appeared so inconvenient and revealing…

Yes, I already had worn a short dress. And actually, it would reveal Lexie, not me!

But why then I was so embarrassed about wearing one? Worrying that I could be exposed, that I would be considered easy, that men might take advantage on me? For whatever’s sake, that would be Lexie, not me, and she was only an appearance, a masquerade! She didn’t actually exist! I was not her!

Yet, I felt at this moment being no one else but Lexie. Damiano right now was someone else. Again me, but another me. One that right at this moment I wasn’t, judging by my own thinking.

What happened to me?!

I knew that there are trans people. Ones born into the body of the other sex. That actually belonged to the sex they felt as…

But I was not trans! I was happy to be male. Especially after learning what is to be a woman. And that from getting only a small, inhumanly idealized part of what being a woman actually is…

… Mommy is waiting for an answer!

“Ummm, I don’t, but I will buy one… I agree, a girl has to have one, official events happen…”

“Wise decision,” Mommy smiled. “Do you need help choosing it?”

“Umm, I think I will be more comfortable choosing it myself. You know, I am a bit shy…”

“To say the least,” Lu laughed. “Good that you are a girl. I can’t imagine how you would survive if you were a boy.”

The other women giggled. One more thing to think about, I noted for myself bitterly.

Did this bodysuit mess with my thinking somehow?

* * *

“Hello… I don’t have an appointment – can you help me, please? I have to go to an official event, and want to get an appropriate make-up…”

“You don’t look like you need make-up at all, sweetie,” smiled the woman near the door. “Hmm. How official it is?”

“The birthday of my boss. He invited me to a restaurant…”

“Oh, I am getting it. Being serviced without an appointment will cost you 20% above our usual fee, but I will try my best to give you the value for it. Please, come and sit on this chair… I will have to remove first these traces of make-up, may I do it?”

“Of course…”

Buying the dress wasn’t easy at all. Lucia did a lot to help me, but all official dresses that did not revealed nearly all of my body turned out to be for women over 50. Finally, I had to settle on a style that was very narrow below the hips, but showed less than all of my breasts and legs. That is, these of the bodysuit. While walking, one leg came out of it through a slit on the side – still, showing one leg is less than showing both legs and most of the breasts too.

In less than an hour they delivered it to the shop, and the entire evening I practiced putting it on and moving with it. Luckily, I already had some experience with walking in heels. Still, it was as inconvenient as everything that passed for female garb. On top of all, I didn’t dare to practice in front of the mirror – that likely would give me a raging arousal again, with no way to relieve it. Damn…

The real nightmare however was the make-up. I tried putting some on a dozen of times, invariably turning my face into a horror. On top of all, it was hard to wipe off, I spent all the kitchen rolls and most of the toilet paper I had on this. When the clock chimed 20:00, I abandoned the idea and took a taxi to the cosmetics studio Vinnie had mentioned before. Luckily, they had a free slot…

“Wow, I had never seen before a skin so perfect that it doesn’t need foundation at all. What skin care you use, sweetie? If not a secret?”

“I don’t use any… Ummmm, well, just a bit of,” whatwasitcalled, “moisturizer… And a fruit mask once a week, a secret recipe of my grandmother…” I frantically tried to remember things I had watched in movies or heard from the women at work.

“If you decide to spill the secret, I would love to learn it, sweetie…”

God I hate lying! Even when they don’t catch me!

She finished my make-up only 15 mins to nine. I threw the money at her and bolted out, refusing the offer to review my look and make adjustments. Again luckily, a taxi stopped almost immediately for me, and the driver was unbelievably nice, driving like mad to get me at the restaurant in time. At 21:00 exactly, I was there.

* * *

The first thing I realized when I entered was that I should have checked my appearance. Maybe skipped coming at all. Whatever I looked like, it had everyone staring at me. Most men were nearly salivating.

What had they done to me at the make-up studio?! It was a good idea to visit the restroom and to take a look in the mirror.

The first to tear out of the trance was The Boss.

“Good evening, Ms. Manzoni. Please be welcome.” He invited me with a gesture around a long table. On it there were luxury labels with the names of the company personnel. Of course, my place was next to that of Carlo, who quickly rose up and held the chair for me. Realizing that it would be impolite to skip him and go to the restroom, I thanked and sat down, my face burning.

After a minute I tried to quietly sneak away, but was caught by Mommy and Nicola Petruccio delivering together birthday congratulations to The Boss. After the end of their speech and the applauding, I looked again for an opportunity to get to the restroom, only to be interrupted again by a host of waiters carrying big dishes.

I didn’t know exactly what the first thing they served was. Judging by the taste, it had meat in it, several kinds of cheese, a number of species and other things. And was a heaven for the palate, I had never eaten something so tasty. Silently cursed the damned lipstick I had to keep from smearing, and the damned bodysuit that was constricting my gut. There was no room in me for half of what was on my plate, let alone of all the side things that came with it. God, what a privilege was to be male! Even in something as simple as a dinner!

The wine was really good too. However, I only dared to smell it a few times and to carefully take a small sip once. If I got drunk in this situation…!

After the dessert – incredibly exquisite parfait – the lighting was dimmed a bit and the music switched to night blues. Just when I somehow overcame the feeling of bliss and started looking for an appropriate moment to excuse myself, The Boss rose up and proclaimed:

“Be welcome to dance! Would you accept my invitation, darling?” He turned to the woman his age, sitting next to him.

She also rose up from her chair:

“Of course, darling!”

The two of them came at the middle of the empty space next to the table, hugged one another and started dancing slowly with the music.

Looking at them, I could only sigh and smile. Beyond seventy, they still loved one another. Would I ever be able to find a girl with whom to get old together, loving one another, dancing happily despite the age?

Did I deserve one? Would I ever be a man enough to deserve this?

I hoped so. I was not perfect – but I could learn… And find some girl whom I would love…

“Lexie, would you accept my invitation for this dance?”

Aaaaaargggghhhh!… What an irony – while dreaming for a girl, to be reminded that you are someone’s girl for this evening! Even if that is Carlo!

But, after all, that was an opportunity to learn how to be a real man.

And, frankly, Carlo deserved to be with the best girl ever. And I was good-looking, if nothing else. Sigh… I only hoped that he will see me as just an in-between romance, will not become infatuated with me, will not be hurt when one day I finally drop the damned disguise.

“Ummm, yes… But please be aware that I have no clue about dancing…”

“Neither do I, to my shame. You know, we geeks aren’t very apt socially. Please accept my apologies…”

Well, if Carlo’s socials amounted to inaptness, then mine were a tragedy. I followed him to the dance floor. Most of the company was already there.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Lu and her husband. They obviously were both good dancers, mixing effortlessly styles, from dancing club to medieval. I tried to copy them, and quickly noticed that Carlo watched and copies them too.

To my great surprise, neither of us stepped on the other’s toes and we did pretty well. (Apart from a couple of moments when I felt, let’s call it slight inconvenience.) Actually, I had danced before few times with Sandra, but wasn’t good at all. With more than a little shame, I realized that I danced as a woman better than as a man.

Could that be due to the bodysuit’s “adjustment of movements”? It surely had a role too. And Carlo was much stronger than I was, handling me much easier than I could handle Sandra. With even more shame I had to admit that dancing with him had no sexual element for me, but was still pleasant.

And again, there was plenty to learn from him in this dance. He always thought first of my convenience and protection. The perfect man indeed. The women at work were so right – the girl that could woo him would be the happiest woman ever…

At the end of the dance, I suddenly noticed four people still sitting around the table – Vinnie, Grace, Gab and Tony. Suddenly I felt pity for them. Carlo followed my gaze, looked at me and sighed. Obviously he also was not happy with leaving them behind.

“Carlo, what about inviting them for the next dance? They deserve some of it too.”

“I thought the same, but… won’t you be jealous?”

“Of course not!… Well, at least if you aren’t jealous,” I tried to play along.

“Well, we aren’t officially together. How could I be jealous, if you choose someone else?”

“You expected me to be jealous about you, right?” I pointed out, happy that I had caught him. Only the next moment I realized how that must have sounded from a beautiful girl and felt blushing.

Carlo nodded and smiled, then turned towards the table. Obviously we weren’t the only ones having pity for those around it – Filippo was already inviting Vinnie. She hesitated for some time, but finally rose up and followed him. Meanwhile, Lu invited Gab, who clumsily followed.

Carlo went to Grace and offered her a hand. She looked really surprised, then glanced carefully at me. I smiled and nodded her. She looked for a couple of seconds at me, then rose up and followed Carlo. It was impossible to tell for sure, due to the amount of make-up on her face, but I think I noticed a slight blush.

The only one who remained around the table was Tony. I felt revulsion at the thought of touching him, let alone dancing with him. Luckily, he appeared completely focused on his phone, oblivious to everything around him. Maybe I could find some excuse to not dance with him…

The restroom! I must see how I look!

I almost ran to the restrooms. Initially tried to barge into men’s – luckily, it was empty and I realized my mistake still at the door. Rushed into ladies’ and jumped to the mirror.

Shit, shit, shit, shit!

From the mirror at me looked an embodiment of seduction. The perfectness of my appearance – bodysuit’s, that is – was upgraded with a ton of sexual attractiveness. I don’t know if I would be able at all to not hit on such a girl, if she was around me.

Why the hell had that woman in the make-up studio done that to me?! Had I told her any goddamn women’s hint that I want so, without suspecting it? What I had told her?…

That I am going to a dinner, on invitation from my boss, for his birthday. And that I need a make-up appropriate for this…

And she had done the best for me that she could think of…

I exploded with laughter, having to lean on the sink to keep my balance on the heels. Even the view of the girl in the mirror, made even more attractive by her laughing, couldn’t stop me.

So that was why I had felt the erection of Carlo. And, despite being inconvenienced by it, I couldn’t stop myself from admiring his self-control. I didn’t know if in his place I would be able to restrain myself from stealing a touch. It surely costed him a hell of an effort, but he didn’t do it.

God, what I have entangled myself into! How did I managed every time to only dig myself in deeper and deeper? What was the chance of it? Statistically speaking?

And now they are waiting for me to return. With the damned make-up on, of course… I quickly checked it in the mirror. Either I had somehow managed to not smear it, or – more likely – that woman had used some kind of make-up that didn’t smear easily. Great thanks, Signora…

The celebration was obviously near its end. As I took my place beside the table, The Boss thanked us all for honoring his birthday and wished us good evening.

When we came outside, I felt a light touch on my shoulder:

“Lexie, would you allow me to call a taxi and accompany you home? Just to be sure that you will be back safely?”

All the women were around, watching me. Shit!…

“Ummm, yes, of course… Thank you, Carlo!…”

When we arrived, I thanked Carlo once more. While coming out of the taxi, I heard him telling the driver to wait until I get inside the building. A real man indeed. I had so much to learn from him…

When I finally entered my apartment, I suddenly felt tired as hell. Kicked the heels off, wriggled out of the damned dress and dropped on the bed like a sack of potatoes. This day was over, but not before being almost too much for me.

Part 14

Thank God, in the morning I didn’t have a hangover. Which was compensated for by a pillow all smeared with make-up. Worse still, turned out that enough of it is still on my face, making it look like a Picasso work. On top of all, I still looked sexually attractive, and the morning arousal did its best to confirm it. I really had to find a way to deal with this problem.

Wiping completely the make-up from my face turned out harder than I expected. Attempts to wash it off with water achieved next to nothing. Finally, I had to sacrifice my towel. Would have to buy that stuff women use to take off make-up, in case I have to get it on again. Hopefully I would never need it…

Trying to find on the Net what that stuff is called served me another nasty surprise. After about a minute of work, the screen suddenly died. Sure, it was old, but I liked it… Some morning was that.

“What’s up, Lexie? Is there anything wrong?” Lu asked while we were changing into work uniform.

“No… Nothing important.”

The other women suddenly stopped their chatting and turned towards me.

“Come on, girl, spit it… Did Carlo behaved badly while accompanying you home? He didn’t appear drunk…”

“No, absolutely nothing like that!” I felt offended for Carlo. “He behaved like the consummate gentleman! Didn’t pressed me for anything, didn’t take advantage of me, had the taxi driver wait while I got safely inside the building…”

The women exchanged meaningful glances. What had I hinted about this time?! Gosh…

“So, you didn’t invite him in?” asked Mommy.

“Ummmmm, I think it is still too early for this. We, ummm, went on a date only once, I am a bit conservative about that…”

“Okay, okay, I will not embarrass you more. Are we all ready, girls? Let’s go work, it’s time.” She opened the door of the dressing room, almost hitting Carlo who was just passing outside. “So, what is then, Lexie? Maybe you didn’t have time to get some needed comfort?

“No, it is just that my screen at home died suddenly. It is pretty old, but I like it a lot—”

“Lexie, may I help with this problem?” I suddenly heard the voice of Carlo behind me. “Screens are the same kind of computing devices like for example the processing desks. I don’t dare to promise it, but might be just able to fix it. You never know until you try.”

Shit, shit, shit, shit!!! What kind of luck is that?! How do I manage to always turn the things the worst possible way?!

Being a woman is a HELL. Complete. Anything you say instantly carries a mountain of hints and meanings you never meant. You never even suspect they are there. And the more you try to get out of this web, the worse you entangle yourself…

“Umm, sure, thank you Carlo… But I insist on paying you for that! Otherwise, I will not accept it!” Hopefully the decent and nice Carlo would refuse to take a payment and this will give me a somewhat polite reason to refuse him!

“Oh, that is very easy. I would gladly accept a next lesson on statistics. For example, may I be present on your next scripting lesson?”

Shiiiiiit!…

“Umm, yes, sure… But we have already taken a few lessons, it might be a bit hard for you to catch up…”

“I have some knowledge of scripting from the IT. The statistics specifics will be new to me, but I will do my best to catch up.”

All women were pretending to not pay attention to us, but weren’t going to the work room either. No doubt expecting to hear my answer to Carlo. Shit…

“Um, well, of course, you are welcome. Just give us about half an hour to see how the processing tasks we left yesterday go, and to make adjustments and run new if the old ones are already done… Um, I will call you when we are ready…”

The door of our room barely closed when all the women turned to me:

“Now I am getting it all, Lexie! And you played it brilliantly. Just the right hint in the right moment, and he swallowed the bait on the spot! Excellent!” Mommy congratulated me.

“And you are really an actress. Did all the leading after the bait so finely and with such an innocent face, I almost believed that you actually hesitated!” added Lu. “I am more than twice your age, and I could learn from you! Lexie, your looks might be absolutely perfect, but your skill at playing Carlo is even better! God, you are what every woman dreams to be!”

“How d-did you d-d-damaged the screen? Or it really b-burned out, and you g-g-got an idea from t-that?”

The right hint in the right moment?! Fine leading after the bait?! Skill at playing a man – and Carlo at that?!?!… Being what every woman dreams to be?!?!…

And the worst of all was, now it suddenly dawned on me that I had done exactly that. Yes, by clumsiness and pure chance, without intending any of it. But now I was understanding all the mechanics of it. Would be able to pull it again, if I wanted to. Or do anything similar. It was so damned easy, you just had to have my perfect looks and the experience I had gained for the last two months…

What I was turning into?!?!…

Whatever gods there may be, please kill me. Unless the damned bodysuit protects against you too…

And now Carlo had really gotten into me. Would he be able to accept my taking the disguise off? Or even just my disappearance? He was the very last man to deserve to be through that. Because of me. How could I ever repay such a debt?

And he deserved so much to be with the best girl ever. Which everyone around said to be me.

That is, Lexie.

That is… me as Lexie.

Yes, I dreaded this more than anything else. But maybe it was exactly the punishment I deserved for creating all this mess. And mountaineers pay their debts. Always. No matter the cost to themselves. This is what makes them real men.

Oh, the irony – my only way to be a real man was to be a woman… What every woman dreams to be…

And that would not even be enough. Carlo would likely want children, and I could not conceive. When this becomes evident, he would want to visit fertility clinics, and they would find out there the things. Maybe not all, but surely enough to shake him even worse…

If my life was a book, its author would deserve to be shot on the spot. Psychopaths who can put someone through this don’t deserve to live!…

I tried to get my thoughts off this track by checking the tasks we had left yesterday on the decks to be processed. All had gone to the plan and were ready before we came to work. I quickly helped the other women to set new ones – that is, the real women – and went to invite Carlo to our scripting lesson.

During the lesson he listened intently and sometimes quickly tapped notes on his old-fashioned big-screen phone. After the lesson, he came to me:

“I believe I got the principles right. They aren’t very different from those of language or even shell scripting. However, it looks like that I am still missing enough footing on the statistics foundation. Would you please be able to give me another lesson on that?”

Again, in front of all women! Aaaaarghhhh…

“Um, yes, sure… But hope you don’t plan to invite me to a restaurant over that!”

“Of course I do. How else I can repay your lessons?”

“You don’t need to. They are, umm, improving the company personnel qualifi—”

“You wanted to repay for me checking your screen and I accepted. It is only fair that you accept now my repayment for your lessons.” His smile was so charming that I just couldn’t force myself to contradict him. Especially in front of the women.

“Um… Okay. When we can do it?”

“Today is Thursday. I want to see your screen first, to fix it as soon as possible, but that might take the entire evening. And in Friday have to catch the early evening train to Genoa, have promised to spend the weekend with relatives. What about Monday evening?”

I suddenly felt the eyes of all women on me. What to do? Postpone it for how long without being suspicious?

“Umm, what about Tuesday?”

“Perfect. I will be waiting impatiently.” He smiled again.

When the door closed behind him, Lu turned to Grace:

“Well?”

Grace sighed, took her wallet out of her purse and put on the table a ten Euro banknote.

“Yes, he is definitely not gay. Couldn’t wait to be one on one with Lexie, despite being well behaved.”

“Lexie, why did you postpone the date for so long? Want him to build some sexual tension? Smart – you will be in for a glorious night!”

“Ummm, no, not at all, it is too early for me for that… It is just, ummmm, I am on my period now…” I felt my face burning, because both of the lie and off the topic.

“So what, if you do not envisage sex?… Come on, girl, that bit about men smelling your period is just a legend!”

“Oh, ummm, I am not sure… Some girls say men can do it… And Carlo is indeed a good catch, and I don’t want to jinx my chances…”

“Okay, let it be so. If he will not wait for you for a week, he absolutely does not deserve you. And he is indeed a good catch…”

* * *

“So, how did it go away?” Carlo asked while I was unlocking the door. “Were there any strange images or sound distortions before that? Or some post-effects?”

“No. When I turned it on, it worked for a minute and then suddenly went dark. No flashes, no smoke, no smell of anything burning…”

“Hm. I guess it is this one, on the wall?” Carlo lit the flash of his old phone and used it to peek between the screen and the wall. “May I unhook it and put it on the bed?”

“Of course.” I barely constrained myself from jumping to help him. I likely would delay him anyway – he did it in just a second.

“Really good thing. Original Lenovo SC412-31, they are a legend. Especially the German-made ones, and this is one of these.” He pulled a universal screwdriver out of his pocket, selected a bit for it and unscrewed a small lid on its back. “Let’s see. Standard Xiansi controller, I think I have tests for these.” He pulled from another pocket a small flat box, took out of it something that looked like a big centipede and connected the thin cable coming out of it to his phone. Then carefully pulled a thumb-sized piece of electronics out of the screen.

“Ugh. That thing is really dusty. No, absolutely not your fault. This is not made to be opened and cleaned. They just didn’t expect it to work for more than 10 years straight, and it did. Excellent tech…” He blew some dust off the piece and put the centipede over it. “Let’s test the controller… Hm… Tests OK! Could it be just down to the dust?”

He produced another box from a pocket, took what looked like a small wet wipe from it and started to clean the inside of the screen under the lid. I looked at him with envy. God, what a convenience were the male clothes with all of their pockets!

“Now, let’s see.” He plugged the piece back into the screen, screwed the lid back on, hooked it to the wall and plugged it into the power outlet. Before I could say anything, the screen lit up. Conveniently restoring the results of my search this morning – a mind-boggling amount and diversity of make-up removal stuff. I felt my face burning. He however didn’t pay it any attention at all.

Like any man wouldn’t. Why should they? They don’t need make-up, girls do…

“I think that is all, Lexie. Looks like you are lucky too.” He smiled.

“Umm, oh, thank you Carlo! Indeed, I am lucky, to know you and have your help. Thank you!”

Yes, what a luck! Well, apart from having to be a woman!

“I am sorry to have to leave so quickly, but have promised to help and old friend too this evening, if I can," Carlo replied. "I’d better hurry up. Thank you too in advance for your lesson.”

“Just a moment, I will accompany you down. There is a cab stand nearby…” Just sending him out would be the ultimate impoliteness. Even if I had to pretend being a girl, I think.

When we passed near the door of Aunt Lauretta, it suddenly opened and she stepped out, smiling widely:

“Hello, dear! Lexie, could I please ask you for some salt? I just found I am completely out of it. And I need to take some salt when my blood pressure is down, or it is hard to stand up, my legs are wobbling…” They indeed did.

“Of course, Aunt Lauretta! Right now! Carlo, would you wait half a minute, please?…”

I sprinted back up the stairs. While I was unlocking the door, suddenly a thought flashed through my head.

Didn’t I buy a pack of salt for her just a few days ago?

I stepped a couple of times in place and closed the door noisily, pretending to have entered the apartment. Then listened carefully. There was some noise from above, likely someone was repairing something, but I still could hear Carlo and Aunt Lauretta clearly.

“— not only beautiful as an angel, but also kind as one. And I think she needs a friend in life.” That was Aunt Lauretta.

“Doesn’t she have one? I just was at her place, fixing her screen, and got the impression that a boy lives there too.”

Damn he is observant too! But this now would be of use, I smiled to myself.

“She rents it part-time from a boy who lives here. During the week he is up on the Alps, works there as a mountain rescuer, comes down only for the weekends, Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon. And she lives here during the workdays and goes to her parents for the weekends, leaves in Friday evening and is back on Monday morning. I have never seen them here at the same time, and if they were, I would notice it, you can trust me!”

“It would be only natural for her to be with him, I think—”

“I don’t think that they are interested one in another. Too different, you see, he is into mountains, not into women. And she might need someone who lives with her and cares for her. There was a burglary here, right this afternoon. If someone enters while she is in, she might be in danger…”

Ooooohhhh, Aunt Lauretta too was trying to match me with Carlo! Gosh…

I quickly grabbed some salt from the kitchen and ran down the stairs.

“Here is the salt, Aunt Lauretta.”

“Oh, thank you very much, dear! You are a sunshine for everyone. Never have seen so nice a girl in my life…”

After showing Carlo the cab stand, I sighed while climbing the stairs to my apartment. Turned out, she would even lie about a burglary just to induce somehow Carlo to move with me!

Or… was she lying? That noise from above…?

I quickly climbed two floors above my apartment, following the noise. Two workers were just finishing replacing the door directly above mine. Next to it, there were some wooden pieces, likely from the old door, and a piece of police tape.

Okay, so what? If they tried to rape me, I would beat them into pulp, the bodysuit would protect me from their hits. Not that any rape would harm the real me anyway. And if they broke in while I was at work, what they would steal? The screen was too old and heavy to be worth stealing, and there was nothing else valuable in the apartment.

I unlocked the door and entered my place with a smile. Which however froze when my glance fell on the room table.

There was the remote for the bodysuit.

What if they stole it? Or damaged it while breaking everything around to seek for hidden money? I would be doomed to live the rest of my life as Lexie…

And how I would carry it?! Shouldn’t be visible, I couldn’t think of a reason for carrying everywhere a standard-looking remote. But none of the female clothes I had had any pockets…

Part 15

“This purse is just great, Lexie!”

“Umm, I like it too. Convenient, you can carry it on your shoulder. And, umm, I like these styles…”

“I was wondering when you will dare to show some femininity,” Lu smiled. “What you will say, Mommy?”

“That those boots are just perfect with the purse. Lexie obviously has excellent taste.”

“Umm, I tried to match them. The same white as the bag…” What did Lucia called it? Lilly white? Vanilla white? It was some flower…

Actually, she had matched them. I had guessed to bring it to her shop in Friday after work and to ask her what goes best with it. The boots fit my legs like gloves, up to just below the knee. I was afraid that their heels would be too high for me to walk on, and will be too thin to carry my weight. However, walking on them turned out easy, the boots stabilized the ankle well, and heels proved to be strong – even catching one badly in a crack on the sidewalk didn’t break it. The cost was a small fortune, but the boots were worth it.

And they indeed looked great on me. Couldn’t take my eyes off the mirror in the dressing room. I looked like a goddess of beauty and elegance, and at the same time as an embodiment of sexiness. Lucia had to ask if it was okay to return me to the reality.

At home, I had never before paid attention that the bathroom door has a full-height mirror on, but now loved it. Especially while seeing how I look in boots only. I felt tempted to not remove the bodysuit for this weekend…

“Do not be embarrassed, Lexie. You absolutely deserve to look beautiful. Especially for Carlo, right?”

“Yes, Mommy…” I had surely blushed from the memory of the Friday evening. Yes, it was so embarrassing, but I looked so sexy!

Oh well, Lexie did, not me. But Lexie was me and nobody else, right? So I could say that I looked good.

As Lexie, that is. I sure as hell didn’t want to be a girl, but if I was forced to be one, why not benefit from that a little? What red-blooded man, if forced to look like inhumanly beautiful and sexy girl, wouldn’t try and steal a look? Sure, I stole more like a few hours of looks, but most men would likely steal more. They likely would even not remove the bodysuit for the weekend…

I checked my reflection on the mirror in the dressing room. The boots added sexiness and grace to the work uniform too. But well, I looked attractive enough without them too, no sense to worry about that.

As if I hadn’t already a huge problem with that. What to do with the poor Carlo? How to extricate myself from this situation without hurting him? He sure as hell didn’t deserve that…

I glanced inside the purse, to check if the remote is there. It would be a good idea to cover it with something, or else someone curious might wonder why a girl carries a remote in her purse. What a purse should contain? I had never been interested in Sandra’s. A box with make-up? A menstrual pad? Tampons? Wipes for removing make-up? A small mirror? I made a note to myself to buy some things during the lunch break.

During the usual lesson on scripting, I noticed several times how women look at me and then exchange glances. After the lesson, I excused myself to the restroom, grabbed the empty bottle and put it against the wall.

“– turning into a seductress. No doubt she understands very well how valuable Carlo is.” Mommy was saying.

“And has an excellent idea what makes her look attractive. The blue dress goes so well with the boots and the purse! Hope the men are able to control themselves around her.”

“Hope Carlo is able too. That’s not easy for men.” There was distinctive bitterness in the voice of Grace.

“H-h-hope they m-marry soon. T-they both d-d-deserve one another. A p-perfect couple.”

“I think it would be soon. The tomboy from the mountain is gone, here is a girl that knows what she is, and what and who she wants. Did you noticed how sexy these boots make her walk from behind? I don’t doubt that she deliberately chose them for that.”

What?! These boots make me move my ass sexily while I walk?!… Lucia, what did you did?!

What had to be expected. She sees that I look more comfortable and assumes that I have overcome the shock from having to run away from my boyfriend. So, she tries to help me find a new one. The best possible.

Not knowing that I have already found him and my problem is how to lose him.

“You are right. Remember how scared and coy she was the first time she came here? She is overcoming the lack of a mother amazingly quickly. And I’m a little bit proud – it is us who helped her find self-confidence. And to shed the tomboy mentality and facade that the male environment gave her, to accept being a beautiful real woman…”

You didn’t help much, Grace. In addition to not having a fucking clue what I am.

But… why the other women – that is, the women – see me as already a confident and real woman instead of a tomboy? Does it mean that I really lose being male on the inside? That I not only look female, but somehow am female, as a person?

Since when I was coming to work almost always in a dress and heels? A month? I hadn’t even noticed when that crept in. And how. Had started it only to appear less suspicious to the women, barely tolerated it, but with the time stopped noticing it. Accepted it. The boots were already the fourth pair of high heels I had – I hadn’t paid any attention when exactly I bought two more pairs. And when I accepted wearing the first pair, to start with.

(Sure it helped a problem of mine. I was always a bit self-conscious about being short, and the bodysuit shortened me further by a few centimeters. Sure, as a girl I still was average height instead of short, but the heels were a very welcome addition to that. But still, it looked to me that I had accepted them too easily.)

And when I accumulated already a good dozen of panties and bra, separate and in sets. Why so many? They practically never got soiled, obviously the bodysuit didn’t shed off anywhere as much as a living body…

That, while buying an official dress for the birthday of The Boss, I was choosing a dress that does not reveal me too much. Instead of grumbling internally that it is a dress, for God’s sake! An official one – the most feminine clothing that exists! All I cared was to not reveal too much of my curves – curves that weren’t mine, to start with!… Not of the real me anyway! Why worry about that at all?…

… Because Lexie had become a me, too. Not only she was nobody other than me – I was her too. Behaving like a girl – well, to a degree – was already coming to me naturally while wearing the bodysuit. Yes, maintaining the masquerade required that, but it had become a part of me too.

… Suppose I lose the remote and have to spend the rest of my life as Lexie – how I would accept that?… I wouldn’t be happy at all. Would rage for a long time, might even cry. Would grieve for years. Would not feel happy, despite the perfectness of being Lexie. But wouldn’t even think of suicide. While during my first few days as Lexie, I surely would consider it. I wouldn’t be her and wouldn’t be able to endure this. Now it would be a bit hard on me, but I already was part her.

I was really a man. I had no doubt in that at all. I didn’t want a single bit to be a woman… But a man that, if really needed, would be able to be a woman. Unlike before becoming Lexie.

And Lexie was a better human than Damiano. Wiser about people – she had seen through the old gossip in Aunt Lauretta, and found the sufferer in her. I had already noticed that during the weekends, while being myself, I was not as careful, polite and nice to the others around as I was as Lexie.

And, at the same time, I was no less decisive, caring for the others and ready to overcome hardships as Lexie. Maybe even more than as Damiano.

As Lexie I was much more than as Damiano. And stronger on the inside, too. Closer to my ideal of a man than I was as myself.

Oh, the irony – to be more a man as a woman than as a man…

Well, Carlo was light years ahead of me at being a man. But he was absolutely unique, I would never be a match of him. I wondered – how he grew up to be such a man? Had a wise and strong father to learn from and emulate? Surely…

But I also had Uncle Franko, the strongest man to ever walk this Earth, and hadn’t learned enough from him. I had turned out to be just a petty opportunist. As Lexie I was ten times the man I was as Damiano. And still a thousand times less than Carlo. I had believed that as a mountain rescuer I was the paragon of a man. I had turned out to be a caricature of a man… Surely Carlo was just born to be a true man. Would be one no matter the environment he grew in. What a guy…

But I could learn. And would learn. As Damiano or Lexie, I would learn to be a true man too…

Yes, I still had practically no savings and it could take me a long time to find a work again… Maybe I should risk and still continue with the masquerade. But watch out carefully for starting to turn into a woman on the inside. And run away if that progresses. Whatever anything, I was going to stay a man, even if only on the inside…

A knock on the door suddenly interrupted my thoughts. I quickly hid the bottle and returned to The Boudoir.

* * *

“Excuse me, ladies, is Grace still here?”

The voice of The Boss took me out of the concentration upon a complex processing script. The clock in the desk corner showed one minute to the end of the working time. I hadn’t noticed the time passing.

“She had to urgently hurry out about twenty minutes ago. Something happened,” explained Mommy.

She was covering Grace, as a good colleague. Well, Grace was usually fifteen to twenty minutes late, and almost every day was leaving about twenty minutes earlier, but worked impressively fast and was very productive. Yes, I didn’t like her, but she deserved being covered for.

“But… Oh, I thought it is still half past five! Don’t worry, Grace has my permission to come late or leave early when she needs. I just wanted to ask her to deliver en route a batch of documents to our accounting company, they are close to her home.”

Could I help Grace too? If the task is done, The Boss wouldn’t dwell on it, would forget that she has gone out early…

“I am going after work in that direction too. Could you please give me the exact address?”

“Pirelli and Pirelli Accountants, Via Tagliamento 15. This is in Quinto Stampi. Do you know this district?”

“Yes.” I didn’t, but would look it up on the map.

“Okay, here are the documents.” He handled me a big envelope. “Thank you very much, Lexie!”

“It is a pleasure.”

Finding the place was easy. After handling the envelope to the receptionist, I decided to enjoy the evening, walking around. The boots turned out surprisingly comfortable, not tiring or hurting my feet at all. Passed along a small park, happily ignoring a couple of wolf-whistles, walked a bit on a street, passed a bridge over Lambro Meridionale. The weather was nice, the sun was slowly setting down. Life was good.

Even if it is a life in a dress and heels…

Suddenly, a familiar voice woke me out of the bliss:

“Gianni, NO! Not again! You…!”

The voice of Grace.

There she was, on the sidewalk about twenty meters ahead, face twisted with emotion. Before her stood a boy about fifteen or sixteen. Two full grocery bags lied on the ground next to him. His build was thick and heavy, unlike the tall and thin Grace, but his face was so much like her that there could be no mistake. He had to be her son.

But unlike hers, his face was unfocused and innocent, despite the childish fear on it.

He was retarded. Likely at the level of a two or three years old…

“Gianni, hold them! Not drop! Bad boy!… God…!” Tears were flowing down the face of Grace.

So that was why she was every day coming late and leaving early. She had to take him to a school for retarded kids. And to collect him at the end of the day.

And that was why she is so bitter at the life and everything. Being saddled with such a child surely was a huge toll, in everything…

Grace lifted her eyes from the bags on the ground and saw me. She froze on place and her face twisted again, this time in fear.

She was hiding that she has a retarded child. And now I knew…

Before I could think of anything, I was already walking towards her.

“Let me help with the bags, Grace. And don’t worry, I am not into gossip. What you don’t want known, will not be known.”

Grace was looking at me with huge eyes, obviously not believing me. I picked the bags from the ground. They were heavy indeed. Little wonder that she had tried to enlist her son’s help. Or that he dropped them, not understanding that it is important to carry them despite being heavy.

“Do you need help with Gianni?”

“No!… Thank you, I am used to handling him… What you are doing here? Living around?”

“The Boss sent me to bring some documents to the company accountants… I guess you were getting home with groceries? I will gladly help.”

“Thank you,” she replied after a moment of hesitation. “I am just two blocks from here, this way…”

Grace’s building turned out to be old, with flaking paint, apparently not well maintained. She probably had chosen it for a low rent. We climbed the stairs to the third floor. She unlocked one of the apartment doors and dragged Gianni in. I offered her the bags without entering, but she grabbed me by the wrist:

“Please come in. We have to talk.”

“Um, I wouldn’t like to intrude on you. We could talk at work, I wouldn’t—”

“No, we have to talk now. Gianni, go to your room. To your room!” She turned him towards a door at the end of the living room and, without waiting for him to enter, faced me:

“I am sorry, Lexie. You see, I—”

The doorbell interrupted her, loudly and insistently.

“Ooohhh… Just a moment, Lexie.” She almost ran to the apartment door. “Hello, Mrs. Sforzi. I have the rent with me.”

“Good,” replied a weak, rustling voice. “But why you haven’t paid for the staircase maintenance? You had to do it a month ago!”

“I did, Mrs. Sforzi! You wrote it in your notebook, remember? When I helped you clean your room.”

“Really?… Can you please come with me to check this, please? My memory is not good these days, you know.”

“Yes, Mrs. Sforzi…” The door closed behind Grace.

I looked around. The living room was big, with little furniture, mostly old and worn, but clean and well-maintained. A beautiful wooden table with several chairs, an upright piano, a wardrobe apparently out of the movies for the sixties, a bed in the corner… Likely Grace couldn’t afford a lot, despite that surely The Boss was paying her as well as me. A child like Gianni likely is a lot of expenses…

The entire left wall was a big bookshelf, with likely many hundreds of books. I came to it and started reading the titles. There was a section with pedagogy books, most of them about how to raise 2-3 year-old kids. Another with classics – de Lampedusa, Kalvino, Dante, Goethe, Shakespeare, Baudelaire. Yet another with popular science books… Obviously Grace loved to read. Maybe as an escape from the burden of having a retarded child.

I could not help but feel a sympathy towards her. I had believed that she is just nasty, especially to men. Turned out, she had had a husband who abandoned her, instead of helping her raise Gianni. I hadn’t believed before that he has been good for nothing, but now knew it was true. She had been more of a man than him…

Gianni passed near me, went to an old armchair at the end of the room and clumsily sat in it. Turned towards me and started looking at me intently. Then slowly and clumsily unzipped his pants, took out his junk and started masturbating.

At the first moment I was about to explode. This idiot was masturbating on me!!! Right on my eyes!!! I would…

This idiot…

This retarded child. Who couldn’t even know that this is not okay. Who would try to understand why I am beating him, and likely would not be able to…

“GIANNI!!!!”

I nearly jumped and turned quickly towards the voice. Grace was standing behind me – I hadn’t heard her entering. Her face was again twisted, this time with rage.

“YOU BASTARD! STOP NOW!!!”

Gianni looked at her, his mouth opened and he curled in the armchair in a ball, arms over his head, trembling like a leaf. She jumped at him. I managed to grab her wrist just in time to stop her from hitting him.

“Grace, wait!”

“I WILL KILL YOU, BASTARD! AND MYSELF TOO!!!”

“Grace, wait! WAIT!” I pulled her back with force. “Please, wait!”

“This… this prick! How he could, right in front of you! I beat him every time he—” Tears were flowing down the face of Grace, etching streaks in her make-up. Her face was unrecognizable – anger, shame and desperation were twisting it in a way that was impossible to describe.

“Grace… Wait. He has done nothing bad.”

“DONE NOTHING BAD?!”

“Yes.”

“…Sorry?!… Lexie, you…?!”

“Wait, Grace… Listen… Please listen…”

“Listen to what?!”

“Just listen… Imagine you are him.”

“Lexie, what are you—”

“Imagine you are him, Grace. The world is too big and complex for you. You can’t understand it. You have no friends, nobody like you. You get screamed at and beaten, but you can’t understand why, it is beyond you. The only human who loves you does that, and you can’t understand why… And you have urges you can’t explain, but feel them. They are the only pleasant thing in your life. You don’t know why. And you are beaten if you follow them, and you can’t understand why… That is to be him. You have no way to even imagine it. But that is it.”

“Lexie… why are you telling me that? Aren’t you angry with him?!”

“I am not. Sure, what he did was not polite or accepted, but he cannot understand it. It is us who must understand him, we are the healthy and smart adults. He is just a sufferer who is not guilty for what he is, he hasn’t chosen it. He must be taught somehow about it, but not by beating him. He is not guilty.”

Grace was looking at me with eyes like saucers.

“Lexie, you… you… For God’s sake, aren’t you revolted?!”

“Well, it is not pleasant.” Especially when you are actually a man, I thought. Exactly because you know so much better than women what Gianni feels. “But he is not guilty. I can live with someone masturbating on me, but not with punishing someone who is not guilty… I am sure that you understand it. That if you were me, you would feel the same way. Because this is the right way to feel.”

Grace continued to look at me like she was seeing an alien.

“But Lexie… God…”

“Please, Grace, take a seat. Or better try and calm Gianni. He is horrified now, without deserving it. And, whatever he has done, he is still your child. Nobody can help and calm him like you.”

Grace was standing, looking at me, trying to say something, but couldn’t.

“Go, calm him. This is the most important now. We will talk after that about anything you want.”

Grace slowly walked towards the armchair, moving like a wooden doll. Knelt next to it and started carefully stroking Gianni’s short hair. For some time nothing happened, then the trembling decreased little by little. Then he lifted slowly his head and looked at her, his face a mask of childish horror. She looked back at him and tried to say something, but her voice failed. She grabbed his head and started caressing it and crying so strongly that her entire body was shaking.

I turned aside and started pretending to look at the books on the shelves.

Had a man tried to masturbate in front of me before, I would beat him into pulp, right there and then, without caring if he is retarded or not. And would be proud of it. I would never think that he might not be guilty. That he might be a sufferer, not a pervert.

Even now, if that happened during the weekend, I would likely do the same. Turns out, I hadn’t learned much from my own experience…

As Lexie however I had. I was able to see these things. And was willing to think, to understand and forgive. Again, the real man in me had turned out to be not Damiano, but Lexie…

The sobbing of Grace gradually decreased. Then I heard her sigh.

“Lexie… We have to talk.”

I sat on a chair against her and Gianni, smiled and nodded.

“Lexie… I do not know how I will be ever able to repay you—”

“You have nothing to repay. I will never tell anyone about the problems of Gianni, unless you ask me to do it. No matter what, even if we become worst enemies. You have my word on this.”

“But what Gianni did to you… It is—”

“It is nothing important. He didn’t even touch me… And, thinking of it, it is actually a compliment. Maybe not very intelligent, but very sincere one.” I forced myself to smile. “It is forgotten, Grace. Again, even if we become worst enemies. And if it happens again, will be forgotten again, no matter how many times. I will never go back on my word.”

Grace again looked at me with huge eyes for some time. Then quietly said:

“From anyone else I wouldn’t believe that for all the gold and diamonds in the world. From you, I believe it. You are… incredible. Impossible. Too good to be true. Your character is better than even the strongest men. I can’t believe you do that and still are a dream of a woman. It can’t be.”

Does she again suspect something?… How to change the topic?!

“Umm, Grace, I believed that you are a feminist. How is it that you think men are better in character than women?”

Grace sighed.

“I am anything but a feminist… Women are even more spoiled than men. You might not believe it, so many women don’t, but it is true. Everyone says that being a man is a privilege. Well, being a woman is an entitlement. Different in details, but equally as bad as a whole.”

I raised an eyebrow. Grace was the last person I expected to say something like this.

“And you are unique, Lexie. With your looks you could be the most entitled woman in the world. Instead, you don’t have a speck of that. You try to hold a door for men, to help absolutely everyone, care for everyone, forgive anything… You are an angel in flesh and blood.”

I felt my face burning with embarrassment. Sure, Grace was emotionally grateful, but I still felt ashamed. Not long ago I was thinking that I am among the best men ever. Now I knew better – much better…

“You are idealizing me, Grace. Look for example at—”

“Really? Tell me, who else would promise all that to a bitch like me?”

“You aren’t a bitch! You are just overburdened and tired from bad luck. Exactly like Gianni. You are not guilty for it. Never think that of yourself!… I might make a better impression just because of having better luck in the life. Things that don’t depend on me, that aren’t my achievement.”

“I was a bitch to you. So many times. I… I envied you. For being everything that I am not and dream to be. That every woman dreams to be… I am sorry, Lexie. Really, really sorry.”

“There is nothing to be sorry for. You are a wonderful woman. A mother who didn’t hesitated to raise and care for a difficult child, even when the father abandoned her. I don’t know if I would be strong enough to do it… This is a lesson to me, Grace. Never be sorry for yourself. Be proud of yourself. You deserve it.”

Lucky for example with being born male, I was thinking while walking on the street towards the subway. With all privileges that come with it. No matter what Grace thinks about women being entitled… And Grace’s braveness was a great lesson. If I was her, I maybe wouldn’t dare to take on it. Even as Lexie. As Damiano I would never do so.

Yes, Lexie was definitely a much better human than Damiano. Stronger and braver.

However, if she wasn’t Damiano on the inside, she would likely be spoiled by her looks and entitled to the bone.

What a brain twister that was. Being more of a man while being a woman than while being a man, but just because that woman is actually a man…

Yes, I had absolutely no intention of trying to actually be a woman. But trying to learn and use some lessons during the weekends too, while I was myself, was a good idea.

… Oh well. Let’s first handle, somehow, the invitation of Carlo tomorrow.

At least, as Lexie I was surely more capable to deal with anything than as Damiano.

Part 16

“Thank you very much, Carlo. The dinner was exquisite… But I am thinking about its cost. Would you agree to split it?”

“Absolutely not. Your lessons on statistics are much more valuable than any dinner. I will likely soon be able to help you with the simpler processing.”

“Still, these lessons don’t cost anything to me to give, and the bill for such a dinner is at least two hundred Euro. It is not fair that you pay it.”

“Is it fair that girls have so much more expenses than boys? Of course, no. So, this is a small compensation… Do you want to take a walk together? The streets around the Duomo are so beautiful when lit in the evening. It is just five minutes from here.”

Streets in the evening, in the city center, full with people! No opportunity to be alone and to have to be intimate!

“Perfect! I love the area!”

Turned out, Carlo knew about Milan architecture more than me. I was born here, but left at five, when my father died, to go with Uncle Franco. And spent the last eight years here too, but never had the time or the energy to watch the architecture. Shame on me… Almost half an hour we couldn’t tear our eyes from the Duomo. The biggest cathedral in the world, Carlo said. Then continued on the streets around it, watching the beauty of the buildings…

And me learning, not only about them, but about how to be a real man, from Carlo. He always stood so he would not obstruct my view of the buildings, carefully maneuvered me around uneven places on the sidewalk, unobtrusively offered a hand when I had to get on the pavement or back. Knew a bit or two about almost every noticeable building. Always noticed where I look and offered to go there, or followed my lead. Next to him, I was indeed a spoiled princess. God, what a man he was! He indeed deserved the best girl in the world. If I was a real girl, I would be madly in love with him. Even to the real, male me he felt like the perfect friend.

And the perfect teacher how to be a man…

“It is an hour to midnight already, Lexie. Would you permit me to accompany you to your home, just to be sure that you are safe?”

Where all that time went? Yes, we were already far from the Duomo, maybe even outside the city center, but still…

“Ummmm, of course! Thank you very much!… We have to take the subway, there is a station in this direction.”

“Are you sure? I’m not from here, but somehow don’t like it—”

“Of course I am sure! Let’s go.”

However, Carlo turned out right. The further we went, the worse the place looked. The streets became mostly dark, the buildings around unmaintained… Where we were really? I had thought we were somewhere around Museo delle Culture, but obviously was wrong. The further we went, the worse the neighborhood looked. Had we walked so far?

My hesitation whether to turn around was resolved by finding ourselves in a cul-de-sac. Everything around looked like a ghetto, and likely was. No matter how much I hated to admit it, I had chosen the wrong direction.

“Um, Carlo… Seems that I was in a mistake… May we turn back?”

“Sure,” a rough voice said behind us. “I want to see you better.”

Two figures were blocking the exit. One was a huge man, nearly two meters tall and almost as wide, with a neck twice as thick as his head and massive arms and legs. However, it was the other who instantly attracted my attention. Average height, maybe a couple of centimeters shorter than Carlo, not very muscular but wiry. There was something in him I felt rather than understood, sky-high self-confidence and absolute disregard for the others. He could be a cold-blooded killer.

“Heh heh, what a beauty we’ve got,” he said and sucked air through his teeth. “You’re gonna buy your passage out, cookie. The easy or the hard way, your choice.”

“What?!” The teeth of Carlo were bared with rage.

“Boy, get away. Or else.” He smiled sarcastically and made a gesture towards the exit.

Carlo jumped against him. The hood smiled and stepped back, just beyond the arc of Carlo’s fist, then pulled aside, next to a decrepit garden wall. Carlo recovered his balance, lost for a moment due to the miss, then attacked him again.

This time the bastard bolted forward with unbelievable speed, in an eyeblink pulling Carlo’s jacket over his head. Ducked with the same speed under the swing of Carlo and pushed him, so that the swinging fist hit the wall instead, knocking out of it a big stone that rolled a dozen of meters on the street. Such a hit might drop even the huge hood, passed through my head.

With the same movement, the psychopath tripped Carlo. Before he had even touched the ground, his opponent was already over him, avoiding the attempts to be hit with inhuman speed. Smiled sadistically towards me and started hitting at Carlo’s head through the jacket.

This smile tore me out of the trance. I jumped at the two, but the big hood caught me with a slap on the face that threw me several meters back. I rolled several times, but didn’t felt pain or any other sign of damage. The bodysuit protection, flashed through my brain.

“Pig, ya kill her, I fuck you!” the other hood hissed without stopping hitting Carlo. The giant turned against him and rumbled out something incomprehensible.

The blood rushed to my head. These two were walking corpses, I swore.

My purse was lying next to me. Less than a meter away from it was the wall stone Carlo had kicked off. A good piece of granite, about five or six kilos. In a fraction of a second I shook out the purse contents, pushed the stone in – it barely fit – jumped up, grabbed the long handle of the purse and rotated with it like a hammer thrower.

How convenient the heels were for that! In just a couple of seconds I had already gathered such a speed that the purse was making a swishing sound through the air. It made the big thug turn away from the beating of Carlo, towards me. Just in time to get it straight in the face. The strength of the hit almost lifted him off his feet and threw him towards the wall. He hit it and crumpled next to it, motionless.

“Pig, I told ya!” hissed the other goon without looking at us.

The purse was already gathering speed again. Your payment’s coming, Signor!

Just a moment before getting a hit, he looked at me and jumped up with the same inhuman speed. The purse however caught him in the chest. There was a sickening crunch of bones and he was thrown couple of meters away from Carlo, unconscious.

I jumped to Carlo and helped him removed the jacket from his head.

“Are you okay, Lexie?”

“Not a scratch. You?”

“I’m good. The bastard couldn’t get me straight through the jacket, all hits just grazed me. What’s up with him? Them?”

How he would feel learning that he could not do anything, and his girl took down both hoods? If I were him, I would die from shame. He deserved better!… Not counting that a girl who takes down two criminals like these would surely attract attention…

“Ummm… When you tried to hit that goon and he blinded you, you caught the big one instead. Dropped him down for good. And the other, you missed him several times, but then caught him in the chest… You must be really strong!”

“Did you call police? No? I’ll call them.” He quickly took out his phone. While he was talking, I used the opportunity to take the stone out of my purse and to put its contents back in without Carlo noticing.

Both a police car and an ambulance arrived in just a couple of minutes. The two hoods were cuffed despite being unconscious and pushed inside the ambulance. Fifteen minutes later, we were in the local police department, writing statements. When we finished that, an inspector came to see us.

“Miss, Mister, you have been in great danger. Both these guys are well known to us. One for using his strength exclusively for crime. And the other for being a psychopathic criminal and abuser of performance drugs. You are lucky to be alive.”

“Carlo is a real defender. And a real man,” I replied.

“That doesn’t even start to describe it, Miss.” The inspector looked at Carlo with awe. “Medics tell me that Cagliari, that is the big guy, got both upper and lower jaw smashed to pieces, all teeth on the left side knocked out, brain concussion, likely a cracked skull. All that from a single hit. And Rizzo, the performance drugs lover, has three ribs and sternum bone completely smashed, left lung punctured by their shards, heart missed by a miracle. Also from a single hit. If it was not for the medics, they might not survive. I wouldn’t want to be on your bad side for all the money in the world. I know you aren’t into boxing, otherwise I would have heard of you. The entire world would… Ever considered to make a boxing career? I know a trainer—”

“Thank you, Inspector, but no, I am a pacifist. Wouldn’t be able to hit even a criminal if they haven’t threatened my girlfriend with a rape. Boxing is not my thing, I am an ordinary IT geek.”

“I beg to differ. Very few boxers in the world pack a punch like yours, despite that you have no training. With a couple years of training, you could be among the best in the world… But the decision is yours.”

When the taxi stopped in front of my home, Carlo came out with me, to the door of the building. Before I could say goodbye, he quietly asked:

“Do you think I deserve a kiss?”

The idea of kissing a man revolted me. But if a man ever deserved a kiss from a girl, that was him.

And mountaineers always pay their debts, no matter that.

* * *

“Well, Lexie, about Carlo… Has he a good package?”

What?!

Do women talk of these things when in private? Obviously yes – all other women behaved like Lu asked something perfectly normal and apparently just expect me to answer…

“Ummmmm, it is too early to tell yet… I told you I am a bit conservative when it comes to, umm, physical closeness…”

“It is understandable, sweetie. I can only imagine how every man around tries to hit on you… Well, is he a good kisser?”

“Ummm… I don’t have much of experience to compare… But yes, it feels very good to kiss him…”

As expected, I felt absolutely nothing sexual during that kiss. Carlo was every bit a man, there was absolutely no way for me to imagine kissing a girl. However, to my great surprise, it was not as revolting or unpleasant as I expected. It felt embarrassing and sure as hell strange, but I could tell that if I was a girl, it would likely feel great. He was so supporting, tender and nice during the kiss. God, how much I had to learn!

Thinking of it, how I could tell that a girl would feel great?! Especially after I positively got from that kiss not a shred of sexual feeling?…

“Do his arms feel good around you?”

“Umm, yes, of course… Protecting somehow. Absolutely protecting… He didn’t hesitate a fraction of a second to fight those two, and they clearly looked dangerous. Unbelievably brave man.”

“That for sure. And you say, he took down both?”

“The inspector said that their lives were at risk. And he hit each of them only once. Almost killed with a single punch a guy like a mountain.” The bravery of Carlo deserved nice words.

“Wow. Strong guy indeed. Did he carry you in his arms?”

“Umm, we didn’t come to that yet… I guess he will…”

“And you will love it! Trust me, that is a thing you will never forget!”

Lu was positively right, I would surely never forget that. Just not for the reason she thought. Being carried in the arms of a man, without being hurt or ill – yuck… Well, not completely yuck if as Lexie, but still not my thing.

I imagined carrying a girl like Lexie in my arms, and felt in the heaven. Then, however, noticed that women exchange meaningful glances – my face likely had reflected some of the happiness, and they had noticed it. I felt blushing, which only led to more exchanging of glances. Then guessed what they likely thought I’m thinking, and felt the blush becoming stronger. Tried to hide it by focusing on the work. Luckily the women didn’t comment on it.

After some work however Lu suddenly declared:

“Hey, the men are taking a break! Wanna listen to them?”

I looked at her – she had put her stethoscope against the wall and was eavesdropping at men. Without waiting for an answer, she quickly took the earplugs out of her ears and glued one with some chewing gum to the microphone of her sound set.

“— believe you, I can’t imagine Lexie being easy,” was saying Nicola Petruccio.

“She is not,” answered Carlo. “A very decent girl.”

“Come on.” That was Tony. “Girls are humans like us. I bet she would love some sex, just is too shy to say it.”

“If a girl wants sex, she will find a way to show it,” Carlo replied. “Until then it is plain wrong to press her for closeness. She might be equally shy at saying that she doesn’t want it. If so, nagging at her for sex would be practically a rape.”

“I won’t be surprised if she drops you over that. Women want strong and decisive men, not doormats. And I bet that if you check her nightstand, you will find a vibrator there—”

Suddenly all my blood rushed to my head. I rose from the chair, clenching fists. This prick just had to be beaten into pulp!

“Lexie, don’t!” That was Mommy. “No sense in paying attention to Tony, he just goads everyone—”

“He will not after I beat that out of him!” I snapped.

In an eyeblink Lu was at the door, back to it, face to me:

“Stop, Lexie! Calm down, please! It does not befit you!”

“If I was a man, I would be a wimp if I didn’t answer such a challenge. Why shouldn’t a woman?”

“Because you are not a man! You might be tomboyish, but this is wrong to do! Women don’t behave like this!”

I wanted to take the bodysuit off right now and then. But no, it was not time yet. Especially not in the current situation. And if I pressed ahead with aggressiveness, the women might suspect something… With an immense effort I forced myself to sit back down and return to working. The great mood I had started the day with was ruined.

The sour feeling didn’t leave me even when the lunch time came – I didn’t feel hungry. The other women left the room, only Grace remained. I looked at her – she was looking back to me, with disapproval all over her face.

“Grace, at least you must be understanding me! Why should I tolerate this… this prick!”

Grace sighed and lowered her eyes. Hesitated for several seconds, then looked at me again:

“Want one more secret to keep?”

“Huh?… Yes?”

“Have you heard about BHZP?”

“What?”

“Bengaluru Heart Zero Patient.”

“No… What is this?”

“Twelve years ago, a research center in Bengaluru, India, boasted creating for transplantation custom hearts for patients from their own stem cells. I was watching them, another project of theirs was trying to use stem cells to fix some brain underdevelopments…” She gulped. “Their first patient was a 17yo boy with nasty congenital heart defect. He had spent almost all of his life in a wheelchair, and his heart had failed completely two years before. Since then, he was supported by a mechanical heart, constantly linked to a big machine to power it… They had grown a heart for him and implanted it, but it turned out that the heart is severely deficient, the boy was barely conscious most of the time. The media grabbed the news of their failure, maligned them, investors withdrew and they bankrupted.”

“Um… my compassion for losing a hope, but what that has to do with…?”

“The boy enrolled into a custom-tuned training regimen and gradually improved to the degree that he was able to live with this heart. Of course, even only getting up from the chair and walking a short distance was already risky for him, and the heart wouldn’t develop any further. But he was a fighter. Smart, inventive and decisive, despite also being bitter like hell because of his fate. He had decided to hide as much as he can that he is ill and less capable than anyone else…”

“You mean…?!”

“Exactly. By a wild chance I found that this patient is Tony.”

“What?! Tony is… disabled?”

“Ever asked yourself why he never does anything physical? Never dances, never runs, never walks a longer distance, never carries anything, always uses the elevator, never even moves quickly? It is not because he is pretentious. Even the walk to and from this office is already on the verge of risking his life.”

Oh God!…

“If he tries so much as to masturbate, he will likely die before getting off. And Lexie, do you know how hard is that abstinence on a young man? Their sexual urges are much stronger than ours. You can’t even imagine what is that to them…”

I just sat dumbfounded. In my head was swirling only that Grace had no idea how well I could imagine that. How familiar I was with it, thanks to the damned bodysuit…

“Grace… Are you sure that Tony is indeed…?”

“Yes. A year ago, right after I started here, I had to verify data for heart surgery follow-ups. The region of Lombardy had forgotten to remove the names of the patients from the data. We notified them and deleted the names from our copy, but before that one case attracted my attention. A boy, 28 years old, biological heart implanted in India, but no immunosuppressive treatment needed. It ought to have been a data mistake, only one person in the world had a transplanted heart grown from his own tissue… But that was him. And his name was Antonio Cardinale.”

“Gosh… But even so, he doesn’t have to be—”

“Remember what I told you about bitterness and suppressed desires? Joking at people’s expense hides these. If he was healthy, he would likely be a nice person. Remember when you told me that I am not a bitch, just overburdened by bad luck? That is much more valid for Tony.”

Gosh…

I had considered again a sufferer to be a deplorable. Exactly like Aunt Lauretta before. Carried on the wave of anger, fueled by male pride.

Maybe I really deserved to stay a girl. As a punishment for being the real prick in this situation.

Well, maybe Tony still went a bit too far in this situation. But he… he deserved to be understood. Especially after I had been so nasty to him because of refusing to help Carlo with the protected file storage. How could I know?… I had to forgive him, owed that to him. If I wanted to be anything like a real man.

Again, for fate knows what time, my only way to try and be a real man was to behave like a woman ought…

“Thank you for telling me this, Grace. Now I understand Tony a little better.”

Grace looked at me for some time. Then said:

“And you will forgive him for what he said in front of all men?”

“Given what you told me, I must. What he said is really nasty, but I owe him understanding… I will.”

Grace nodded and suddenly smiled.

“You are indeed unique, Lexie. There are many and many decent and nice women, but I haven’t seen before one that would feel bound to forgive Tony. To anyone else, I wouldn’t tell about Tony’s heart. To you, I decided to risk it, and you showed indeed to be the perfect woman.”

Oh, the irony – when you for once manage to behave like a man with integrity, those around see you as the perfect woman…

When I finally looked at Grace again, she was concentrated on work. I turned to the screen too, trying to distract myself from the thoughts and emotions swirling in my head.

Let’s see how I will be able to handle my situation with Carlo. That will show if I am a real man. Or a real woman. Whatever the difference. Or the similarity. Or whatever…

And today Carlo again gave me a lesson how a real man should behave. Not only he wasn’t telling jokes on account of women, and of me in particular – I had done that before with colleagues in the university, to my shame now. He didn’t hesitate to show to the other men in the room that honoring women is the right thing…

What a man, for God’s sake. Next to him, I was indeed like a spoiled girl. In the worst sense of the word.

Part 17

“Time for a lunch, girls!” said Mommy two days later. “Are you coming, Lexie?”

“Of course.” I was already hungry. And the only one here besides Mommy – the other three women were today at the annual health check.

“Great. Let’s go… Carlo, please hold the elevator!”

“Of course, Mrs. Rodolfo.”

While going down, I was wondering what to do. Or to not do. Talk to Carlo? Not talk? Chat with Mommy in front of him?…

The moment the elevator touched the ground floor, Mommy suddenly spoke:

“Oh, I forgot something!”

“We will wait for you, Mrs. Rodolfo.”

“Do not wait, Carlo, I will need some time… Have a good appetite!”

Of course, she had to leave us have a lunch together! These women…

Just after we took a turn around the corner of the building, I heard the voice of Luigi the driver:

“Hey ya, Carlo! Could ya help me?”

I looked in the direction of the voice. The door to the parking inside the building was opened. Through it, I could see the driver crouched next to the car that serviced three companies, including ours.

“Yes…?”

“Name’s Luigi.” The driver was short, squat, broad-shouldered man about sixty, with a strong tan and a big smile. “Ya ask me, a car’s fixed if ya fix it yerself. Hold da wrench here while I loosen the McPherson… No like that! Grab at the end… Hold tight! Nevah held a wrench?”

“No…”

“Wha’ ninnies ya kids are. An’ computah geeks the most. No offense but… Wow. That girl there yours?” Luigi tried to quiet his voice, without much of effect.

“A colleague of mine.” Carlo lowered his voice too.

“Ya go for her?”

“Well, she is out of my league. But…”

“Why don’t ya say it?… Great! Thanks, you did perfect!” The last words were said loudly. So that I hear them.

“But…” Carlo continued to try and speak quietly.

“Shhh!” Luigi also lowered his voice. “No worry, I’ll fix it.” Then loudly again: “Boy, ya’re real master mechanic! First time and got it perfect, ya’re talent! If yer boss sends ya off, they’re idiot, ya’re never gonna be outa job.” He lowered his voice again. “Go for her! An’ mind it, a woman’s a like a deer, the more ya feed her, the more she comes.”

I barely managed not to laugh. One of my colleagues in the university was a Sicilian and I had heard this proverb from him. The more you give to a woman, the more she wants. If only Luigi knew how wrong that was about me!

“Ya need the car for her, it’s yours, just tell me,” said Luigi in what he believed to be a quiet voice again. “Go get her now, let everyone envy ya, she’s a prize.”

“Much more than that. A girl like no one else.”

“Yeah, I see. Ya in love. Get her!” Then, loudly: “Thanks, Carlo! Glad to see a real man!”

How different was the support between men from that between women. Women wouldn’t help one of them to find and woo a man, but little else. Men helped one another at everything, unconditionally. I couldn’t blame Carlo for not being an experienced mechanic, in his place I would likely do even worse. He absolutely deserved this support – but I envied him for it.

Being a man was so much easier in that too. And I sure as hell didn’t want to lose it.

But what I had to do with Carlo? He definitely was in love with me. And I couldn’t give him what a real woman could, even if I wanted to be one. And I didn’t want it…

Was it already a time to risk dropping the disguise? Or even to just run away? I had already paid the utilities debts, but had next to no savings yet. And without those, I would be again in a desperate situation soon…

Maybe I should wait some more. And hope that the situation is somehow resolved. After all, I had lived already three months as a girl at work. Surely could handle a month or two more…

* * *

“These command macros don’t come easily to me,” Mommy complained. “How about you, girls?”

“I fail to grasp them too,” said Lu. “Looks like only Lexie gets them really well.”

“I guess Carlo gets them too,” Grace objected.

“Well, they come straight out of computer programming. I just happen to have that kind of knowledge already… But wouldn’t be able to understand their application in statistics without the explanations of Lexie. She is really good at it.”

“Is t-t-there anything she is n-not good at?” Vinnie beamed a smile.

“I haven’t seen such a thing yet. Lexie, thanks to you I feel already able to help with simpler tasks. Would you permit me to invite you to a dinner, as a gratitude?”

“Um… ummm… ummmmmm… you don’t need to do that. I am just helping my colleagues, it is perfectly normal… It is not just that you take me to luxury restaurants on your account… I, ummm…”

I was horrified. This was the third strike. I had no doubts what will follow. What everyone expects to follow. What has to follow. And I had not a shred of an idea how to avoid it. Or even postpone it.

“True men do that, dear” Mommy smiled to me. And I didn’t need even a drop of social aptness to hear the unsaid “No woman would refuse that.”

And the “Are you really one?” if I refused it.

“Ummm… I… I…” I suddenly realized what I feared most about being exposed. It was not the loss of income – it was the shame from having masqueraded as a girl.

“Don’t worry, Carlo, she is just very shy and modest. Give her some time” Lu smiled to him. He smiled too, nodded back and headed to the door. While opening it, he turned to me:

“My offer stands, Lexie. Whenever you want. You deserve everything good. Don’t hesitate to take the little I can offer.”

The moment he closed the door, all the women started talking to me at the same time:

“Don’t you dare to freak out! You will never find another one like him!”

“He is the men’s man, the dream of every girl!”

“G-go for him! He is the p-p-perfect man!”

“Yes, he is the only man in your league I have seen. Do not miss him.”

Is there anything I could do to avoid that?!

“But… but…”

“No buts! This is the chance of your life!”

“And do yield this time. Trust me, sex is not bad, and with Carlo it will be a heaven!”

Having sex as a woman, with a man! God, what have I come to! The more I tried to not blush with shame, the more I did.

“And there is no need to be shy about that! Most girls your age have experimented with things that make ME blush!”

“And don’t worry. It might hurt a bit in the first moment, but then will feel absolutely great.”

“Yes, he appears to have a good package.”

What?! Grace has checked Carlo… down there?

“I get the same impression.” That was Lu.

“Me too. I might not be young anymore, but Carlo looks just great there.”

Vinnie only giggled, but it was apparent that she thinks the same… and likely from personal observations too.

The situation I dreaded had come.

Could I postpone that invitation? For a couple of days – maybe. For a week – likely no. The women would immediately suspect something. No normal girl would avoid Carlo, they were right. And I would have to disappear from Montafun Statistics.

And I couldn’t afford that yet. The job market was even more desperate than three months ago. When I couldn’t find a job for years.

Not even counting that I might have to be through the worst shame in my life…

What if I remained there? It would not be really possible to avoid having sex with Carlo, the women were right. And frankly, he deserved to be with a beautiful girl. If there was a man who deserved the best of everything, that was him. Decent and tactful like I couldn’t even imagine. If a girl refused him, I too would consider her a heartless bitch. Didn’t wanted to be one myself.

But also, didn’t want to have sex as a woman, with a man. I just couldn’t force myself to it. I had forced myself to appear like a beautiful girl, to wear dresses, tights, heels, even make-up on the birthday of The Boss… But that was too much for me. There was some core in me that wouldn’t bulge. I didn’t even know why, but couldn’t force myself to it.

I could neither refuse it, nor do it. What a damned situation.

And don’t tell me that mountaineers don’t fear challenges, but overcome them. I feared this challenge more than anything. Or maybe didn’t fear it, but still didn’t want it.

For a moment I wished with all of my heart to really be a girl. Just to not be afraid by physical closeness with Carlo. Yes, I was ready to trade away my being a man…

Actually, what if I just did it? He wouldn’t actually penetrate me, I did not really have a vagina, to start with. I still had no clue where the vagina of the bodysuit actually is, but it couldn’t be inside me, no matter how it felt. He actually wouldn’t even touch me; all he could touch was the bodysuit. He couldn’t even kiss me; all he could kiss was the bodysuit.

And, frankly, the kissing was bearable. Not sexually pleasing, but somehow felt acceptable. Like… like if I really was kinda sorta girl when in the bodysuit. Like if, while having this appearance, it was somehow okay to be kissed by a man. Even if it didn’t feel as good as while kissing a girl.

Could I come out as a lesbian? The women would start watching me like hawks, and would surely notice very soon that I am not really a woman at all. In addition, I would ruin the feelings of Carlo too, and by all gods that might be, he didn’t deserve that, though I had no idea how to avoid it. And finally, I might be hit on by some lesbian girl, and ruin her feelings too. A perfect recipe to multiply the problems instead of solving them…

Better a horrible end than a horror without end. Whatever that end is.

I sighed deeply.

“I… I will accept the Carlo’s invitation…”

The women immediately exploded in jubilation. However, little of what they said could penetrate the storm of thoughts and fears in my head.

“Finally accepting the reality! Lexie, even you—”

“Take a pack of condoms, just for the case. Ribbed ones are a great choice—”

“Don’t even think of anything but the sexiest underwear—”

“No skirts for a third date! A dress, the burgundy one—”

“Black tights would look great on you—”

“Nonsense! No tights, men consider them an obstacle—”

“Drink a little, but not too much—”

When the whirlwind in my mind finally thinned out a bit, I found myself standing in the middle of the room, and all women staring silently at me.

“… What?”

“When you are going to?”

I silently sighed again.

“Today.”

* * *

Half past eight. In fifteen minutes, Carlo would be in the building parking, in Luigi’s car. Waiting for me.

It was too late to freak out. I shouldn’t have told him to come this evening.

What if I just told him the truth? Show him the remote and everything. He was much stronger than me, but the bodysuit would protect me from being really badly beaten. And frankly, I deserved to be.

At worst, he might take the remote away from me, maybe even break it. Frankly, I deserved that too.

What if I just went with the flow, had sex with him and so on? This would give me some months, to save some money and then disappear. Maybe even something would happen during this time, to separate us without me breaking his heart. Such things happen, right?

But sex with a man… I still couldn’t force myself to accept it, despite knowing I owed it to Carlo. Just at the thought of it I felt urge to scream. Or to break things. Or to cry… Maybe all at the same time.

I knew that it would feel great. Better than sex without the bodysuit. And maybe exactly that was what scared me most of all.

Together with the inhuman perfectness of being Lexie. Having an appearance that could make the others see my attempts to being somewhat decent man as being the perfect woman.

Add to that the one-in-the-entire-world Carlo. The perfect man in everything – great-looking, handsome, tactful, brave, decent, having an excellent salary in hard times. Next to whom one could want to be a woman.

Everything in me screamed with fear. I didn’t want to stop being a man. To stop being myself. For a first time I understood so well – I was absolutely male, maybe not the best man ever, but couldn’t even think of living as a woman. Maybe even death was preferable to that.

But it was my decision to wear this impossibly perfect female appearance. And I had given Carlo every reason to think that he can fall in love with me. That is, with my disguise. This was a debt that could be paid in only one way. And real men always pay their debts. Even at the cost of their life. Uncle Franco had shown this to me.

On, that irony – my only way to be a real man was to be a woman that will be fucked by a man…

Five minutes left.

Barely not screaming with horror, I went to the bathroom and looked at the mirror. The face I knew so well stared back at me, beautiful despite looking as disturbed as one can ever be. Hair sticking in all directions – that was easy, one shake of the head and it fell as neat as if I had dedicated an hour to combing. Daily bra, one of its straps came down from my shoulder – I had to change it for the sexier one I bought just two hours ago. The panties too. The burgundy dress – no way, it was too short. Better take the blue, it was just above the knee.

Or maybe the burgundy one? Carlo deserved it.

Still, maybe the blue one? I would feel more comfortable in it. After deciding to suffer THAT, I deserved a tiny bit of comfort…

A girl that couldn’t choose how to dress for her date was looking at me from the mirror. And was already late… I quickly started dressing.

Yes, I would get this evening what I deserved. To the last bit. No matter how much I wanted to be a man. No matter that I valued and treasured it more than anyone who hasn’t masqueraded as a woman. I didn’t really deserve to be a man anymore.

A tactful and nice man as Carlo was actually much better than what I was really good for. Even as Lexie. For all I had done, I deserved to be a prostitute or a sex slave. Or to be in a male prison with the bodysuit on. Whatever happened to me this evening would be just a small part of what I had well earned.

I took a last glance in the mirror, sighed, put on the best smile I could manage and went to the door.

Part 18

“It turned out absolutely perfect. The best ice cream I had ever tried.” It was true – the dessert was a heaven.

“I tried it for a first time too. Was a bit afraid if it would be good.”

“It was!… But still, couldn’t we share the bill? We live in modern times, men don’t have to shoulder all expenses.”

“Maybe some other time.” Carlo smiled. “Now, what would you prefer to do?”

I almost fainted from the effort to keep smiling.

“Umm, I don’t know… Maybe go somewhere?… Your place, or mine?… Or just take the car somewhere romantic?…” I was ready to give ten years from my life to have this behind me.

“I can think of a place that is said to be very romantic…”

After about an hour of driving and unassuming chat Carlo took a turn into a small road, winding uphill. Soon we stopped next to the road, under some trees. There was an incredibly beautiful view to Milan, bathed in nighttime lights. If I was really a girl, this would be an unforgettable evening for me. The perfect prelude to an unforgettable night.

Well, that night WAS going to be unforgettable for me. Just for a different reason… I clenched my teeth, withholding a scream from shame. Or a cry. Or maybe both. Happily, it was too dark to see my face well.

“Lexie, there is something I want to tell you… You are the most beautiful girl ever. And also the smartest, the kindest, the nicest… Beating every other woman at everything. Being your colleague is the greatest privilege a simple boy like me can have.”

Simple boy? No way. Carlo was much more than that, and deserved to know it.

“You are anything but simple, Carlo. Every woman I know says that you are the perfect man. And… I think that too.” I sighed. “I will surely never see in my life anyone who is half the man you are.”

The hand of Carlo gently touched mine. At the very first moment, it took me an effort not to pull back. His touch however was somehow calming and reassuring. It reminded me that debts must be paid, no matter what. And even gave me a bit of strength to do it.

I put hesitantly my other hand over his. I thought for a moment what I could do to encourage a bit this oh too decent boy. Then remembered a rom-com I had watched, stepped closer to him and hugged him, lightly as a girl would. He immediately hugged me too – so gently that I even wasn’t scared. Felt supported instead. Somehow felt that whatever happens, I can rely on Carlo. That he will think of me first.

Maybe even if he learned the truth about me…

Still, what was about to happen… With an effort to not cry from shame, I put my head on his shoulder. He caressed my hair, then my back and waist… The mix of feelings, his supportiveness and niceness combined with my shame, was almost impossible to bear. I didn’t know what to do.

So when he kissed me, I just gave in. I didn’t had any idea if I kissed him as a real girl should do, but he apparently liked it. And the feeling of being supported and cared for became even stronger. Even sensing his arousal against my hips could not tip the balance and break me.

“Maybe… maybe we can… you understand…” It was time to push this somehow behind me. No matter what.

“Yes, my dearest… Is the car good for you?”

Well, it was good for a plenty of women in rom-coms.

“Yes…”

Carlo quickly pushed the driver seat forward until it almost touched the steering wheel, to make the back seat more spacey. However, when he tried to do the same with the passenger seat, it refused to move.

“Don’t worry, Carlo. I think there is enough room.”

“Your caret, Your Highness.” He bowed and offered me a hand. I took it, hoping to pull that as good as the princesses in the movies did, and climbed on the back seat. Hesitated for half a second, then started taking off the dress. Carlo helped me, very carefully and tenderly, then with the bra and the panties. Then he quickly sneaked out of his clothes, while I was putting my clothes and purse next to my head.

There I was, lying as a naked woman on my back on the seat. And there he was, coming into the car naked, holding his clothes. He indeed looked like a classic sculpture – the physically most perfect man I had ever seen.

I was going to get what I actually deserved…

Carlo put his clothes on the back of the passenger seat and tried to support himself on it. However, the seat suddenly slid forward. Carlo lost balance and almost fell over me, barely managing to stop himself with hands on the seat, on both sides of my head, knocking my purse down. I heard things rolling on the car floor – likely the contents of the purse came out of it.

“My apologies, Lexie! God, what an oaf I am! Just a sec…” He frantically switched the backseat light on. I looked there, too.

His clothes had fallen on the floor too, his wallet lying next to them, likely slipped out of a pocket. Next to it was my purse some of its contents around it. A small mirror, a box of make-up.

And, next to the wallet of Carlo, the remote of the bodysuit.

I felt the blood withdrawing from my face. Looked quickly to Carlo, to see him following my gaze, stopping on the remote. His mouth slightly opened. He quickly glanced back to me.

He knew what this remote is!

Carlo reached for it, but I beat him. Grabbed it and hid it behind my back.

“Don’t touch it! It’s mine!”

Carlo was looking at me, horror written on his face.

I was exposed.

I wouldn’t get what I deserved. Would get what I REALLY deserved.

Whatever. Debts must be paid. And the payment for this one could only be the truth.

“Yes. That is the remote for my bodysuit, it fell out of my purse… What you see is a bodysuit, not the real me… I am actually a man, my real name is Damiano… Used it to get a job, I was desperate to avoid being jailed for bills debts, and they would take only a woman… I made a mess and will pay for it… Do with me whatever you want – fuck me, beat me, I deserve it. Will not fight back, will not complain, will not blame you… You deserve the best girl ever, Carlo. And I am a fake… Unwilling one, at that… I don’t beg for forgiveness, I don’t deserve it…”

For some time Carlo was just looking at me. The horror had disappeared from his face, it was impossible to tell what he was thinking.

Finally, he said:

“You say it was in your purse?”

“Yes…”

“Look there.”

I grabbed the purse with my free hand. In there had still remained a menstrual pad, a hairbrush and… the remote!

But it was in my other hand! I quickly pulled it from behind my back…

There… there were two remotes!

At the first moment I couldn’t understand what were the sounds coming from Carlo. Then it came to me – he was laughing. With tears dropping on my belly. Some time passed before he could catch his breath, pull back and speak:

“Your remote is there. Could you please give me mine?”

I handed him the remote in my hand, dumbstruck.

“You also have a bodysuit?!…”

He had stopped laughing, but there was a smirk in his eyes. To my surprise, nice and warm.

“Honesty for honesty. My real name is Carla.”

* * *

Half an hour later we were sitting in the car, enjoying the Milan night panorama. I had told my story, Carlo – that is, Carla – was telling hers:

“… After turning 18, I left the orphanage with the dream to become world’s top geek. But nobody believed that an orphanage girl can be a competent IT… I worked an odd job for several months. Then managed to get an IT job, learned there a lot of stuff. Three months ago had to leave it, things there were going in a bad direction. I had some savings, came to Milan, rented a room, hoping to find a job. Total no go.”

“One day I went to a mall, the one near our office. Looked there for some IT problem to solve, prove myself, make a penny and maybe find a job. A sex shop in the basement, likely the same you told me about, had problems with their cash register. The mall technicians were busy with something else, the girl there was furious. Turned out, it was just a badly connecting cable. The girl had no money to pay me, I told her to not worry. We chatted a bit, I complained how nobody would hire me as an IT person because of being a girl. She didn’t have any connections to recommend me, but gave me this bodysuit instead.”

“Initially I was leery, wanted to be hired as myself, not to masquerade as a man. However, for almost two months I couldn’t find any chance for a job and my savings were melting. I saw the challenge from The Boss in a forum, found quickly a breaker for the encryption, but asked myself, what then? Researched him, found that he is over 70 – would likely never admit a girl can be a geek. Could give me the reward, but after some time it would melt too. Caved and put the bodysuit on…”

“So, you don’t really want to be a man?”

“It has some advantages, but I still don’t. Neither I am into girls, if you ask for that.” Carlo – that is, Carla – smiled.

“Then why…”

“Why did I hit on you? Well, I was really afraid that someone will expose me. If that happened, I would be lucky if The Boss only kicked me out, without having me arrested. So I bugged the desks at work and eavesdropped. Turned out, women often discussed behind my back if I am gay, for not having a girlfriend and not hitting on you. Even men did it a few times. And it was only a step from there to suspecting somehow the truth. You can’t imagine how good is Nicola Petruccio at parsing people, he looks simple, but is anything but… I did everything I could think of to behave as manly as possible, in the best possible way, to win some sympathy – this didn’t allayed the suspicions.”

“I had half of the reward, but in less than a year it would disappear, and I likely would still be out of a job. So, I just had to hit on you. You can’t imagine how sorry I was for that, what effort I put in being the perfect man for you, and how guilty I felt despite that. And the relief I am feeling now, knowing that you aren’t actually a girl whose heart I am going to break.”

“Trust me, I can imagine it perfectly well, I felt the same. I was absolutely desperate in that situation. Having sex as a woman with a man is on the very bottom of my wish list.”

“Then why did you come and…?”

“I was in a debt to you, for accepting and thus encouraging your advances. Felt guilty exactly like you. And real men always pay their debts. No matter what.”

Carlo… Carla… Well, my companion laughed again. Gosh, this bodysuit really messed up my thinking! It was outright impossible to think of him – that is, her – as a girl.

What was the chance that two users of bodysuits would hit one on another? Statistically speaking? Very, very close to none. Sure, bodysuits were so perfect that the two would be usually the only ones in their own league, everyone would expect them to go together, would direct them one to another. But still, what was the chance that they will find work in the same company?

“Wow. That is a conundrum… So you are not into men?”

“Not the tiniest bit.”

“I see… So, I get now why the sex shop girl disappeared. I wanted to call her and thank her after I got the job, but the mall website listed no sex shop anymore… These bodysuits might be a scary stuff.”

“it’s good that you didn’t go there and asked about her.”

“Indeed… Well, what we do now? I mean, tomorrow and on.”

“Hmmm… Umm, what about pretending to be together? It will take off any doubts from us. If we find an appropriate moment, we might even take down the damned disguise and try to work as ourselves.”

“Great idea… Aren’t you aggravated to pretend being a girl who has a boyfriend?”

“Aren’t you aggravated to pretend being a boyfriend of a girl?” I tried to turn that into a joke.

“Not at all. You men hate to be mistaken for women. For us, pretending to be men is not a big deal. And I have always been a bit tomboyish, orphanage is not a place for girly girls. I prefer being the real me, but the bodysuit has advantages too.”

“Well, I am already used to pretending being a girl. Can handle having a boyfriend on top of that. Especially when this boyfriend is actually a girl in a disguise…”

Carlo… Carla… hell with it, when wearing that bodysuit, I will think of her as Carlo! - laughed again.

“It’s far easier to me too to pretend being a boyfriend to a girl, if I know that she is actually a boy in disguise. You can’t imagine how embarrassing it was to ask a beautiful girl for a kiss. Not to mention how guilty I felt… Go get some sleep before tomorrow? And the day after that is Saturday, maybe meet without the bodysuits?”

“Sure. Why not come tomorrow after work to my place? If you are not afraid, that is.” I suddenly became a bit self-conscious. She could be scared by the perspective to take the bodysuit off in the presence of a man.

“Why not?” Carlo smiled. “Now, let’s go. We have a lot to process this evening, don’t we?”

I still couldn’t believe my luck. Maybe if my life was a book, its author wouldn’t deserve to be shot on the spot after all.

Maybe just hanging him would suffice. For everything I was through until now.

* * *

I was jubilant.

I was used to some men turning after me on the street, but now almost everyone did. I couldn’t stop jumping like a kid, despite the heels. Felt like I walked half a meter above the ground. Smiled to everyone. The sky was so blue, the air was so fresh, the world was so nice!

For a first time in months, I was going to work without the fear that my disguise can be noticed, that I can be exposed. Nobody would think that I am not really Lexie, after I even had a boyfriend! And on top of everything, “he” was actually a girl in disguise! What a gift that was! I still couldn’t believe my luck.

This was the first night for months already when I could sleep without being bothered by worries that they will expose me at work. The first weekday morning when I woke up with a smile, full with energy, ready to meet the world and enjoy it. Everything was sunny, nice and wonderful. I was brimming with happiness.

Even seeing the familiar sweet face in the mirror made me smile instead of raving about having again to pretend being a girl. My smile could melt a glacier! It would make everyone around me happier – why not be happy myself too?… I grabbed the blue dress, put it on, smiled at the mirror – God, I was beautiful! The white boots added sexiness to that. Then on a hunch I took them off and put on also sheer fine tights – the package I bought for The Boss’s birthday had three sets, I had used only one. And you know what? I looked absolutely great! Not only I would love to have such a girlfriend – I even loved looking like that! Words could not describe how happy I felt.

This feeling carried me all the way to work. I came out of the elevator whistling the happiest tune I remembered, congratulated Fabricia with a curtsy and entered the changing room with a smile up to my ears. Almost sang a “Good morning!” to every woman separately. There was no room to dance while I was putting the company uniform on, otherwise I would have done that too.

Women stopped doing anything for a few seconds, just watching me wide-eyed. Then at once started speaking, all in the same time:

“So he is as perfect in the bed too?”

“I told you, you would love it! How many times…?”

“L-l-lexie, you c-c-can imagine how h-happy I am f-for you!”

“Yes, you are really lucky. Keep him, and watch out to not allow him start drinking…”

“Why didn’t you come together?”

That last took me out of the happiness wave for a moment. But it was not a problem:

“Um, we both just had to go do this or that before work, at different places.”

The women continued:

“Remember I told you that you will love it? Was I right?”

“You were,” I replied. Well, not for that reason, but who cares?

“D-d-did it hurt m-much?”

What should have hurt?!… Oh!

“Not at all. Ummm, barely felt a bit of pain, and it stopped immediately…”

“Okay girls, let’s move to the Boudoir…” Mommy opened the door of the changing room. “Hi, Carlo!”

“Hi, Ms. Rodolfo. Hi, Grace. Hi, Lu. Hi, Vinnie… Hi, Lexie!” He smiled so sincerely that the happiness washed over me again.

“Hi, Carlo!” I curtsied towards him too, making him chuckle. I wondered for a moment how a woman, disguised as a man, would feel if a man, disguised as a woman, did a curtsy to her… Was Carla also as happy as me? Judging by her… his… whatever, by Carlo’s expression, she had to be happy too.

Probably as relieved as me, and for the same reason.

After we all entered The Boudoir, Mommy took two ten-Euro banknotes out of her wallet and gave them to Lu and Grace. Then smiled:

“You can’t imagine how glad I am that I lost. And so categorically.”

A second passed before it dawned on me what they had bet on. Then I smiled:

“Grace, did you also bet that I would be happy after the first night with Carlo? Being the pessimist you are?”

“Yes. To be honest, I didn’t believe it, but I hoped for it. You deserve it, Lexie. You both are unique. I don’t think I will ever see another couple like you.”

I decided to not insist that Carlo and me are a very ordinary couple. Grace was right. Especially about not seeing another couple like us.

Statistically speaking…

I don’t remember much from the work after that. I did more mistakes than usual and often caught myself daydreaming, basking in the happiness that my so hopelessly tangled situation had resolved so nicely. Couple of times I caught the women exchanging meaningful glances. Okay, let them think whatever they want. If that makes them happy too…

“Time for a break. Want to check what men would discuss? Bet that they wouldn’t even have noticed what happened this night.” Lu smiled.

“I am more concerned whether Carlo will not change, now he has wooed Lexie into having sex with him. There are such men,” Grace said.

“He will not!” I jumped. We actually didn’t had sex, so there was no reason to expect Carlo to change. Especially if he was actually Carla, and had shown that he… she is conscious about how a girl feels. Well, I was not a girl, but still…

“Easy, easy. We all see you are in love, but it is still wise to check,” Mommy told me. “Exactly because of that. It is after sex when men show their true face. If he is still the decent man we know, never let him go.”

What if she was right? Even despite that her idea what happened was dead wrong? Could it be that Carla was actually a nasty person? Or that pretending to be a man came to her head a bit too much?

Lu was already assembling her eavesdropping device. Before I could count to five, we heard the voice of Nicola Petruccio:

“Yeah, I see that both of you are really happy. But Carlo… I want to warn you. You would not be the man Lexie deserves, if you will be anything less than perfect to her. If so, better leave her now. But if you plan to be what you have proven to be with her so far, keep her for a life. You will never find another girl like her.”

“I want to say the same.” That was Filippo’s voice. “Be her dream, she deserves that. Because if you become her nightmare instead, you will not fare well.” There was a hint of coldness in his voice that I had never heard before.

“Every girl deserves the best,” Carlo replied calmly. “But you are right, Lexie deserves it more than any other. She is unique, more than you can imagine. I am absolutely sure that I will never find another girl like her. And will do my best to keep her happy.”

“Good to hear,” Filippo rumbled.

“And true, I think,” Petruccio added. “Remember, Carlo attacked two dangerous hoods to protect her. And sent both a hair away from the graveyard.”

I proudly smiled. The other women – that is, the women – nodded to me.

“Not only the perfect lover, but also the perfect defender,” Mommy said. “Truly the perfect man.”

That evaluation was surprisingly true, I thought. When Carlo, that is Carla, attacked those two hoods, she didn’t know that I was not really a girl. She maybe knew that the bodysuit would protect her from being badly hurt. But still, she could simply walk away and instead didn’t hesitate to fight for me. She was as brave as the bravest men I had seen…

And she deserved to think that it was her who took them down. Before, I would only shrug and say to myself, “who can guess what a woman would think?”. Now however, I knew that women are not so different from men. That they also like to achieve and be strong. That they are burdened with having to look beautiful, attractive and weak – but once you take that need away, for example by them masquerading as men, they like many things men like too.

Well, they still liked being beautiful. No man would like that.

Or, wouldn’t some? I had seen plenty of guys who loved looking fancy. Spent ages in gyms not because they really needed physical strength – just for the appearance. Wore clothes almost as weird and non-functional as those of the women. Bought cars, trinkets, anything just to make impression…

And… Wait, didn’t I enjoyed this morning being beautiful?

But no, I enjoyed Lexie being beautiful, not me, right?

But she is me and nobody else. I am Lexie.

Well, I am actually Damiano. She is not real, right?

Well, she was real, at least legally…

Oh, hell with it! Lexie is actually a mask. A costume, like on Halloween… okay, I never wore a costume for Halloween, but it is still a kind of that, right? People enjoy wearing a costume for Halloween! Why shouldn’t I enjoy being Lexie? That is, masquerading as Lexie? There is nothing unnatural in that, right?

So when I am Damiano, I am Damiano, I don’t have a shred of doubt in that. When I am Lexie, I am Lexie and can enjoy being beautiful. It is okay, it is just a part of the masquerade. Whoever doesn’t get it must be as dumb as a pumpkin! It is time for me to stop being scared of shadows!

Part 19

When I finished changing from work uniform to everyday clothes, Carlo was already waiting outside in the lobby, with a bag in one hand:

“Lexie, are you still thinking about going back together?”

“Sure I am.” I suddenly felt a bit edgy, but tried my best to not show it. And noticed how the women, coming out of the changing room at the moment, exchanged again meaningful glances.

“I sense you are a bit tense,” said Carlo quietly while we were walking out of the subway. “Can I help?”

“Um, no… not really…”

“Are you afraid of me? If yes, I’ll go to my place, no problems with that.”

“No, you don’t have to…”

“You are worried that I might abuse you sexually? I mean, before we take the bodysuits off? I will never do that. I know very well how a woman would feel if raped. I guess a man would feel even worse. Remember, I fought to defend you from that.”

“Before you knew that I was not really a girl.”

“That changes nothing. Girls, boys, we are all humans first. No way I am doing that, or even permitting it happen. No matter what.”

Somehow I just felt it was true. Maybe the bodysuit of Carla was making somehow others trust and feel protected by her… him… shit, that didn’t really matter! Carla, Carlo, they are the same person!… But I decided that I would trust them.

“Thank you… And I also promise that I will not do anything bad to you after we take the bodysuits off. Or before that.”

“I believe this. You outdo the character of practically every man I have seen. That is what makes you so… so…”

“Beautiful?” I couldn’t suppress my smile.

“That too. But, you see, most men at work warned me in no uncertain terms that if I do not care for you enough, there will be nasty consequences. If you were a very beautiful but not very nice girl, there would be no such warnings, trust me. So, it is not only my opinion.”

“Thanks… And, from what I have heard and seen from you, you appear to be a very decent person too. The other women – that is, the women at work,” I felt myself blushing slightly, “they believe that you are the perfect man. Always ready to help a girl, to defend her, to protect her honor and everything…”

“Of course I will be. I know very well how much the girls need that. This disguise allows me to give it to them – what scum I should be to not do it?… And, exactly like you, I felt obliged to be the perfect man for you before I knew you will not be hurt by learning that I am a girl…”

“True… This is my entrance, you know it.”

The bag of Carlo contained a set of clothes – jeans, two blouses, a pack of underwear, sneakers – and a few packs of food. We made a dinner, ate, exchanged our life stories in more detail. However, when it came to bedtime, there was a problem:

“Take the bed, I will sleep on the couch.”

“Throw you out of your own bed in your own home? No way.”

“It is not right for a man to take the bed and let a woman sleep on the couch.” I had seen that in at least a dozen of rom-coms.

“Exactly! A true man like me will never do that to a beautiful girl like you!” Carlo tried to hide his smile. I couldn’t hold it and laughed.

“Tomorrow you will wake up as a girl and me as a boy!”

“Yes, but today it is the opposite and today comes before tomorrow!” Now we both couldn’t stop laughing.

“Okay… what about then sharing the bed? It is wide enough for us both… That is, if you aren’t afraid of me when we wake up.”

“I would be more afraid of you before we go to sleep.” Carlo winked.

“Okay, we go…”

Five minutes later, we were both in the bed, in our underwear, holding the bodysuit remotes.

“One, two, three!”

I knew that I had a few seconds between pressing the buttons and getting asleep. And they were… strange. I would usually find inconvenient sleeping in the same bed with another man, but this time it was somehow different. Less territorial, more acceptable, more calming…

… Was it because Carlo was actually a girl inside that bodysuit?…

* * *

“Wake up, sleepyhead!”

The voice was high and somehow singsong. I slowly tried to get up and wipe the sleep off my eyes.

The bodysuit was all around me. I drowsily pulled it off me. Then suddenly remembered the previous evening, and that kicked me wide awake.

Next to me, on the bed was lying the appearance of Carlo. Looking like an incredibly realistic, half-deflated blow-up doll.

“Do you like pancakes?”

Standing in the door of the room was… Carla.

The first thing I noticed – with some relief – was that she was about a couple of centimeters shorter than me. About the height of Lexie, passed through my mind.

She was slim and ungainly built, like a teenager. Boyish figure, rather modest curves, barely noticeable under the jeans and the blouse. Slim wrists with long thin fingers. Big and round head, shortish brown hair. Big – I would dare to think, beautiful – eyes, smiling even more than her mouth. Two big front teeth that made her look a bit like a rabbit or goffer from the old animes for little children. Or like that girl from the books, I couldn’t remember her name, with two red braids and two long socks of different color, and could lift a horse. Overall, Carla looked like a taller twelve years old.

So that was why she couldn’t find a job in the IT. Not only she was a girl, but on top of that looked like being obviously underage. It was nearly impossible to me to believe that she was a competent, knowledgeable and professional IT expert, despite that I had witnessed it so many times… Poor girl!

But her smile was charming. Maybe not as perfect as the smile of Lexie, but somehow no less attractive. Warm, nice and full with… well, personality, individuality – I couldn’t find the exact word. In short, she was very homely. Attractive – sexually too, but as a person even more than that.

“Well? They are getting cold.”

“Ugh, I love pancakes!”

I jumped from the bed. Then guessed to turn my back to her and hastily put some underwear, pants and T-shirt on. She couldn’t stop giggling.

“What is the funny thing?” I asked before biting off from the first pancake. It turned out delicious.

“How modest you are. Given that I saw you naked just a day and a half ago.”

“You didn’t!… Well, you saw Lexie naked, not me!”

“And who is Lexie, may I ask?”

“… Not me, in that sense!… If that is true, then I saw you naked too!”

“Did I have a good package?” She giggled again.

I tried to compose myself. And to shake off the thought that, well, she did. That is, he did.

“Well, I haven’t seen too many packages to compare…”

“Really? I thought you guys love to compare your dicks!” She continued to giggle.

“And it was… You had an…”

“Erection? Of course. The bodysuit has several modes for triggering that. I couldn’t allow to disappoint the poor Lexie, that wouldn’t be nice to a girl. Especially to such a beauty…”

I bit off a big piece of pancake. My poor head needed some time to process all that.

“And you had a perfect body. I am hetero, and despite that I felt liking the idea.” She giggled again. “What about you keeping the bodysuit on some weekend, and trying some girl-on-girl action?”

“What about you keeping the bodysuit on some weekend and trying some boy-on-boy action?”

“Eww! That’s gross!… Okay, I was just goading you. But you were really beautiful.”

“Well, I understand nothing in male handsomeness, but you also looked really good. I know more than a few boys that would kill for such a body.”

“I also know women that would kill for a body like yours… that is, Lexie’s. For example, every woman around. Including me… Want more pancakes? There is enough mix left.”

“I would love one more, thank you… I wonder why you were so repulsed by the boy-on-boy idea, while joking about girl-on-girl?”

Why it felt so natural to discuss with a girl such things? I would never dare to ask Sandra about them. And I knew Carla since just a few minutes… actually for more than a month, but not as Carla… Was it because I knew Carlo?

Or because I somehow felt closer to women than before? A bit used to such talks in the company of the women at work?

“Well… Girls are more open about such experiments than boys. And maybe it is objectively more natural. After all, most guys like to watch lesbian sex.” She smiled again. “Or maybe not. There are gays, they… Dunno, I have never been really male, it is just to me personally guy-on-guy feels gross. Being with a girl does not, though I definitely prefer boys.”

Was she hinting on something? Or I just hoped that to be true? I would never harass her for physical closeness, despite that she was really cute. Would defend her against anything. Without even thinking of what a real man ought to do. I just knew I will. She deserved it. She was worthy of it, without a drop of hesitation.

“Well, what we do now?”

“Thank you very much for the breakfast. The pancakes were wonderful… Hm… You know, before I learned who you are, I thought that Carlo would make the best friend in the world. And I dreamed to teach him climbing.”

“Did that change after you learned I am a girl?”

“Yes, it did. I want it now even more. You… you are someone who makes an absolutely great friend.” I felt blushing slightly. “But your clothing is not good for climbing, we will have to get you climbing clothes and shoes and will lose the day… Have you been in the zoo? They opened it a couple of years ago.”

“Never have been in a zoo at all.”

“What about visiting it, then?”

“Great! I’d love to see the cousins.”

“You have cousins working in the zoo?”

“The monkeys, silly.”

“Oh…”

* * *

Carla said that she has to do something, and in the subway was concentrated on her old-style phone, typing stuff on it. In the zoo however, she was excited like a child. She couldn’t stop photographing every animal we saw, often multiple times. I also photographed her with my phone several times, posing in front of different animals, with the air of a kid overflowing with joy.

And I tried to remember and apply the lessons I had learned from Carlo. Always left the best view for her. Chose for her the best road, helped her with any possible obstacle, held her hand while coming off the subway train. At the first, barely noticeable signs that she might be tired, I offered her to sit down for a lunch and was as adamant about getting the best for her as Carlo was for me. That is, for Lexie.

“Thank you, Damiano. I didn’t know they serve such good food here. However, we will split the bill.”

“No way. It is my turn now.”

“Since when?”

“Since you told me at the restaurant that we will split it some other time. That is now.”

“I didn’t! That was Carlo telling Lexie, not me to you!” She stick out her tongue.

“Well, I am a good student and learned a thing or two from Carlo. Blame that on him .”

“I get an excellent salary—”

“So do I. It is just a compensation that girls have so many more expenses than boys.”

“Well, I am a girl only two days out of seven in a week, you are a girl five days in a week, more than me. It is more fair for me to take the entire bill…” She giggled happily. “Okay, okay, you are the man. Thank you, really. You are indeed a very decent guy. Mountain rescuer, you say?”

“Yeah, I was raised by them… And you are a really nice and beautiful girl. Absolutely.”

“You know you are a terrible liar?”

“I am that, but I do not lie. I really think so.”

Carla looked at me, and even I could see in her eyes a flurry of thoughts passing through her.

“I look like a kid. Nobody can think of me as beautiful.”

“I do. And you are not only beautiful, but also the nicest girl I have ever seen… After all, you are a part-time man and know what is to be one. There can be no better woman than one who can understand the men and be a true friend, not just a sex partner. With that you can woo on the spot any man you want. He will immediately feel that you are the real thing.”

Carla was silent for some time. Then looked in my eyes:

“Thank you. And for caring for me too. Yes, I noticed it.”

“Well, I have a debt to return three times, not one.”

“One is sometimes enough… May we go and see the birds too?”

“Of course!…”

We came out of the zoo only when it was about to be closed. I invited Carla to visit a restaurant, but she insisted to try and cook something at home.

That turned out to be something with fried bits of meat, vegetables and rice, together with some spices. She said she had read the receipt in a book about Uzbek meals. It was both filling and tasty, and I liked it.

“Can I have the recipe, please?”

“Of course. And during the weekdays you will cook it, since you will be the girl.” She made a funny face at me.

“If you wouldn’t be afraid to eat it, why not?… But now, I would be the man both at getting asleep and waking up. Should I move to the couch?”

“We already slept in the same bed and none of us raped the other. Why not try it this night too?”

She was really brave, I thought while undressing. I wouldn’t dare to do it so quickly while being Lexie. Well, maybe I would now, knowing that Carla is a really decent girl. That is, if I am Lexie, Carlo being a decent man… Ugh, as if it mattered – they were both the same person.

And that was a really caring and nice person. I remembered how scared Carlo was for me when I helped him with that armored fridge of a thing. How caring he was always for every woman, even when he didn’t need that for a cover. And how tactful he was with men. And how brave he was, defending a girl from being raped… None of these was something you take off with the bodysuit. Carla was a dream woman. One in a million – I would likely never see another one like her.

One that I felt happy and proud to care for, protect and cherish.

Everyone around me believed that Lexie is unique girl, a perfect one. Well, she wasn’t – she was actually the cowardly and opportunistic me on the inside. However, Carla was nothing less than what they believed Lexie is. I couldn’t be with Lexie, but I could try to be with Carla, if she would accept it. She was the real thing. What the idea of the others about Lexie was, but in reality.

She had waited for me to get in the bed, then turned the light off and undressed. Now I felt her slipping under the blanket next to me. Waited for a moment – likely hesitated – and then snugged next to me.

The feeling was like a music. She had both the attractiveness of a woman and the vulnerability and purity of a child. I felt her closeness making me feel whole, real and capable of moving mountains to protect her and care for her.

Without thinking, I moved my fingers very lightly over her hair, trying to put into that warmth and protection, not abuse and assault. She didn’t react, and with some hesitation I did it again, trying to be even lighter and more caring.

She squeezed into me, then lifted her head towards mine. And our lips met.

Part 20

“Wrong time for conceiving. If there was a risk for that, I would ask you to use a condom,” Carla smiled. “Could you please turn aside while I put some clothes on?”

I did, jokingly protesting:

“Hey, we even had sex! And I am a woman five days out of seven, I can look in the mirror as much as I want. What is the problem with seeing you naked?”

“Precisely that.” I could hear some hesitation in Carla’s voice. “I look like a piece of trash next to Lexie. It’s hard to believe that without the bodysuit your figure isn’t girlish.”

“You look great! Let a man decide that.”

“You are a woman five days out of seven.” Carla tapped me on the shoulder and stick her tongue at me when I turned to her.

“You understand nothing in women if you think you look bad!”

“You too, if you think I look good. Pumpkin on a stick, that’s what the other kids in the orphanage called me.”

“To me, you do look good. And if someone thinks you aren’t beautiful, it’s their loss. And my gain.”

“Okay, okay… Seems like being a girl for some time teaches a man to be really caring and nice. If all men could spend a year as women, the world would be a better place.”

“Ditto for women spending a year as men. You are nothing like the spoiled and nasty brat the typical woman is with men.”

“Not every woman is that.” Carla took out her phone and started typing quickly something on it.

“True, but many are. Like many men are rude and condescending towards women.”

“Unhappily. But… Okay, having grown up in an orphanage has taught me to not be spoiled and nasty first. But, thinking of it, being a man for a month opened my eyes too. Had I been a spoiled princess before that, I would get beaten several times per day as Carlo.”

“I doubt it. The way you lifted up that… protected file storage? That was impressive even for a man with Carlo’s build. Did the bodysuit helped you?”

“Of course. Didn’t you read the manual of yours?”

“Partially. And since I learned who is after the bodysuits, I didn’t dare to. I have watched in movies how people that access a Net resource get found by that.”

“Very smart of you. Remember, there are tons of bodysuit abilities, they call them options, that can be activated if you buy packages of them? For my model some are turned on by default. One of them is tripling my strength if the bodysuit is charged.”

“Charged? How do you do that? I haven’t seen a power plug on it—”

Carla exploded in laughter. Some time passed before she could stop.

“I guess your bodysuit has a charger too, some packages that would require it are likely available to you too. Wasn’t there one in the box?”

“No… How does it look?”

“Do you keep the box?”

“Yes, it is there.” I pointed to the wardrobe.

Carla took the box out and opened it.

“Here it is.” She took out of it a piece of thin cloth that I had mistaken for box lining. Unfolded, it turned out the size of a bed sheet, and from one of its corners was coming out a two-meter piece of thin wire with a plug at the end. “Put it on the bed under the sheet, plug it in, should charge the bodysuit wirelessly from zero to max in less than a week of normal sleep on it. And that’s a lot of charge, enough for me to easily do heaviest manual labor for over a month.”

“Wow. I remember there was such an option for my bodysuit too, but it costed a lot of money… Wait a bit. Increasing strength three times – that would still not suffice for lifting 115 kg. Girls can’t lift 40 kg—”

“They can if they have to. It’s just more convenient to leave that to boys.” She giggled. “But there is something else, too. I also carry almost 45 kg of myself. So if I lift 20 kg, that is actually carrying 65 kg. Triple that and you get 195 kg, 150 in addition to me. The bodysuit could easily lift more than the PFS.”

“I see… Hope Filippo never decides to teach a lesson to you.”

“He can’t really harm me inside the bodysuit, and if he decides that, I would likely deserve it. So, I would just take the beating… Now, I am curious to compare the options for our bodysuits. Let’s take a look—”

“Stop! Wouldn’t you get caught?!”

Carla smiled triumphantly.

“While we were traveling to the zoo yesterday, I hacked into their security cameras. Replaced their recordings with a stream replaying the recordings from the previous Saturday, the weather then was about the same. Nobody will see on them us being in the zoo, during that or after.”

“What is the problem with seeing us there?”

“I also set an account on a social network for photos, on the name of a German teenage tourist. Then, before entering, I hacked it through a relay server chain and booby-trapped it with a virus. Happens often with poorly secured accounts on poorly secured social networks, and they both were that.”

I blinked several times. All this sounded like a high-tech movie.

“Why?! I’m not getting it.”

“While we were in the zoo, I mixed in the photos of animals I was uploading with commands to the virus, hiding them in the data stream. It had to connect to a network that a gang of cybercriminals use for hiding the origin of an attack. Through it, it had to hack a server in India, enter from there a similar network that however belongs to a rival cybergang. From there, it hacked another server in Brazil, then again went through a third network, belonging to a third cybergang.”

“Huh?!”

“And from there, it downloaded the entire help and the full list of options for all bodysuits offered by the company that offered them. Whoever hit on them had retained their website, as a trap. But even the most powerful intelligence services cannot track someone through three different top-quality obfuscating networks, controlled by three fiercely rivaling cybergangs.”

I looked at Carla with awe. If she really could do such things…

“Yes, I am a good hacker. Really good.” She proudly smiled.

“Who is stupid enough to tell all that to someone she barely knows?”

“Oh, come on. I know you for a month already, and in very unusual circumstances. Where your real identity was hidden, but precisely because of that your real personality was more obvious than ever… Also, after learning who you are, I was afraid that someone has sent you to track me. The chances for two bodysuit user to hit one on another…”

“Statistically speaking?” I smiled.

“Yeah. So I investigated you very thoroughly the previous night. Sorry – as you understand, in our situation it pays to be extra cautious.”

“And you might need to avoid tracking even more than me? I guess one cannot learn all that about cybercriminals and their networks without having used them…”

“You are too smart for your own good.” She smiled again. “Well, I had the virus post the bodysuits manuals and lists of options, encrypted and named like a porn movie, in an anonymous file service often used for porn stashes. In a few hours they will be there. We will download them through an ordinary anonymous proxy, the kind they use for accessing porn sites, and will compare them. Wanna take a walk meanwhile?”

* * *

“Hello, Damiano!”

“Hi, Aunt Lauretta! Is there something I can help you with?”

“What a polite young man you are! And who is this beautiful girl, if the silly old me may ask?”

This was the first time I stopped at all to talk with Aunt Lauretta. As myself, that is. Before meeting her as Lexie, I considered her an old gossipy witch. Now however I knew that she is a lonely and vulnerable old woman. Couldn’t just mumble some excuse and pass by.

And a woman that would say nice things about people, even if they don’t deserve them…

“This is Carla Gatti, a colleague of mine.”

“Oh, I see! Dear Carla, are you a mountain rescuer too?”

Shit. Was I also dumber while being Damiano?! To set up Carla like this…

“I am an IT engineer with the mountain services,” answered Carla instantly. “Got the job two weeks ago. Had three days ago to fix a damaged relay up the mountain, colleagues put it on me to see if I’m up to the job. I had no experience in climbing, but luckily I met Damiano and he helped me. So we met and well, I promised to visit him during the weekend.”

“What a story! Helping is so him, he is a really nice young man… Would you come in for a tea? I won’t keep you for long. My place is small and old, but I make a good tea!”

“It would be honor for us, Aunt Lauretta.”

Inside I did my best to pretend that I have never seen her apartment. The tea the Aunt served us was from a box I had bought for her as Lexie. Obviously she kept it for guests only. She and Carla chatted for some time, until Carla mentioned that we have to shop. Aunt Lauretta smiled:

“Shopping together? Good, very good. Have a great day, both of you! Will you soon be here full time?”

“Likely not very soon,” Carla replied. “Damiano still works up the mountain five days a week. And he told me that he leases his place during the workdays to some girl who works here in Milan, but goes home for the weekends. So for now I will live at my place. Maybe will come here some weekends.”

“That other girl, I have seen her. Great beauty. But do not be afraid for Damiano, she has a boyfriend. Both look like very nice and decent people, just like you two.”

“Thank you for the compliment, Aunt Lauretta. Let’s see how the life unfolds.”

“Oh, sure, dear! I just hope that everything with you is okay and you start being together more.” Aunt Lauretta smiled toothlessly.

“We will see.” Carla smiled back and pulled me towards the exit.

“I should have bought something for her,” I said while Carla was trying a set of climbing shoes. “She might have finished the previous batch.”

“When she opened the fridge for the milk, there were some things inside,” Carla said. “Obviously she economies on food. Buy her groceries, but during the workdays, as Lexie. She will be less embarrassed if she takes gifts from one person only… And, speaking of gifts, did you noticed that she doesn’t even have dentures?”

“Yes, I was thinking on paying for dentures for her.”

“I will chip in for that too, to give her better ones. A place I applied for a job at before Montafun Statistics, they sell vouchers for medical services. We can buy a voucher for dentures from there for her, as a gift for her birthday.”

“Can you learn when that is?”

“Remember these old letters on her table she had been reading before inviting us? The top one was a birthday card. Almost 50 years old. The date on it is less than a month away…”

“Wow, you are observant. And an unbelievably quick thinker. Concocted so complex and convincing story in an eyeblink.”

“Don’t be offended, but you are a bad liar. I expected that you might slip and say that I am a colleague of yours, and had prepared the story in advance… These shoes look to be a good fit.”

“And are good quality and durable, I know this line. Clothes, shoes, hat – you have everything you need for climbing. The other weekend we might try it!”

“Great! And now we might go back home and see if we can learn something interesting.”

* * *

At home, we had to wait for a quarter of hour until the manuals and the other info downloaded. Carla opened the manual for my bodysuit on the wall screen:

“I will read about mine on my phone…”

It was already dark when I finally came to its end. And I had just glossed over most of it. There were thousands of options, many of them interesting, but costly. And trying to buy them would be dangerous…

“Carla, did you find something interesting?”

“Yeah…” Carla answered slowly. “A lot of… Did you read the tech specs?”

“Tried to, but understood next to nothing. Tons of buzzwords.”

“There are some useful things. Did you see this?” She stuck a finger to the screen of her phone.

“Let me see… ‘Approximately 200 basic and over 4000 derived types of nanoelements’? What that should mean?”

“Complexity. If they are not lying, that is – but from what the bodysuits can do with all these options, it appears plausible. The typical good space or military nanotech has about 50 basic and up to 800 types of derived elements.”

“So that of our bodysuits is five times more complex? Sounds logical for such a marvel.”

“That our bodysuits are trillions of times more complex to design. Every type of element must be designed for work with many thousands of other types, in many combinations of different kinds and different numbers of a kind. Can you guess what can create such a design?”

“AI of course, what else?”

The expression of Carla was grim.

“Not just AI. Designing the space and military nanotech takes the most powerful officially existing AIs. Designing our bodysuits would take several months of work of an AIs that officially doesn’t even exist, its owners too. Highly likely there are less than half a dozen such AIs. One per most powerful country, owned by its intelligence services… That’s how big is the shit we are in.”

“But… Wait… That cannot be! Why such services would design bodysuits instead of, say, predicting the others, plotting and scheming against them?! This makes no sense.”

“Plots and schemes rely on people to implement. If these people can do what people cannot do, they can implement plots and schemes that people cannot implement. So they break the predictions of the enemy… Also, some intelligence services traditionally favor live action.”

I suddenly had the feeling that the world is coming down on my head.

These bodysuits could make you practically invulnerable. Inhumanly strong. Able to easily climb vertical walls and cling to ceilings. To last for days and months without food, water, even air, in a cold or heat where nothing living survives. To change your appearance to any human one. Likely to anything at all that could contain a human body, including some things that look like they cannot. Maybe able to form any instruments out of apparently your naked body. God knows what else, too… A secret agent would be superhuman with them. Kilometers beyond John Bond, or whoever was that British super-agent from the old movies…

“But… Why they would sell these bodysuits through some company, to the public?! This can’t be!… Or, how such a company would be able to steal their technology, it would be guarded better than anything?!… This makes absolutely no sense!”

“If you are an adversarial secret service and manage to steal this technology, what do you do with it? Developing it faster and better is not an option, even if you have an equally powerful AI, those who created it will keep being ahead of you… Your best option is to compromise it as a technology. Probably not all of it, to not disseminate the most dangerous elements, but to still make its existence known. Everybody will get prepared against it, the developer will lose their advantage.”

“Create a company that will make it public? Smart!”

“Dumb. If those who created the tech have such an AI, they will have plenty of other resources too. Will grab the bosses of your company, torture them into confessing who they work for, find a way for revenge… No. You find some cheats that promised to develop a wonder nano, tricked some investors into giving them money and pretend to develop, preparing to run away with the money. There are always plenty of such ones around. Pose as a disgrunted employee of the best nano developers around, offer to sell their brilliant top-secret project, which will make them trillionaires. Leave the cheats see the chance to deliver what they lied to be capable of, and much more. They will not miss it, cheats are great at grabbing the chance… Give them the tech and what you could reverse-engineer of its workings, junk out their payment to avoid being tracked by it, watch what happens and drink champagne.”

“So our lives hang on a spider’s thread now,” bitterly said I.

“I think they don’t. The damage is already done, tech secrecy is compromised. Making us disappear achieves nothing and might only attract attention. A few people who use dumbed down bodysuits are harmless for them, a private person will not have the resources to even just copy the technology, even richest corporations will not be able to catch up with its creators. Best confiscate what hasn’t reached customers, then leave things lie and watch. Some who bought bodysuits will try buying options or some other stupid things, agents will come to them, pretend to be manufacturer employees who recall suits due to a dangerous problem with them. If some aren’t caught, good riddance to them. Who stole the tech might be stupid enough to try and keep watch on these, you might be able to notice who this is, get a chance to target your revenge.”

It took me some time to digest this. It was… surreal. And the fact that this harsh revelation was delivered by a girl who looked twelve years old and cartoonish didn’t helped it.

“So… you mean we are safe?”

“From the services who created these bodysuits – yes, if we keep quiet about them. From other people who might want to lay a hand on these bodysuits we might not be safe.”

“These will have to discover us first,” I noted. “Do you think the bodysuits would be discoverable somehow? From a distance, by something?”

“Do you think bodysuits for secret agents on a mission will be made to be discoverable in some way?… Apart from that however, I am afraid that someone might already have found us. Luckily, he is smart enough to know that trying to take them from us by force will likely bring him in contact with their developers, and he wouldn’t want that… No, I won’t tell you who that is, you can do nothing about it. Maybe later, but not now. And let’s not start an argument who is the man here, the bodysuits make this matter complex enough… Thinking of it, why not try unlocking some options? I think I have an idea how to do it without being tracked. I know a huge distributed rainbow table, accessible through anonymizing chain, they might have some keys…” She started quickly typing something on her phone.

“What if we just dump the suits somewhere? Can they track them back to us?”

“They wouldn’t care at all who might have worn it. But where will you be working the next day? I have enough money from the reward to survive about a year, but after that? You think The Boss will keep us working after we cheated on him in such a way?”

“I have even less money, and The Boss appears to hate dishonesty… Can’t we somehow prepare the ground for taking them off?”

“We can, but it will take time… And, very frankly, I would prefer to keep the bodysuit. Being Carlo is not being me, but still, you can’t imagine how liberating it feels. Worth the inconvenience to feel it from time to time… Don’t you feel the same about being Lexie?”

“Well… umm… ummmmm…” I felt embarrassed like hell, but forced myself to speak the truth. “Being Lexie is absolutely not being myself, I don’t feel a single bit female. But still, I learned a ton from… well, being her. Likely still have plenty to learn. Enough to maybe be worth continuing with it for some time. Don’t know for after that yet…”

“Same with me… Okay, time for a dinner. And we have to go to work tomorrow. Just let me see if the table has some option key…” She looked at her phone and typed something again. Then suddenly her eyes glinted with anger:

“Yeah… hint taken!”

“What’s up? They found us?”

“No, but they warned us. Nastily… I guess you read the sex-related options of your suit? Which is your least favorite one?”

“Dunno. Didn’t read all of them…”

“There is an option that turns it into a controlled sexdoll. The bodysuit speaks and does what is ordered. You inside it can see, hear and feel everything, but can do or say nothing. Probably designed originally as means to hijack people and keep them imprisoned in plain sight, maybe as a form of a perverted torture too. That is the option whose key was in the table. Turns out, this option can be applied to any bodysuit variant, including mine. Transforming its appearance into one appropriate for this. That is the warning – if you try to dig around it, you might end up as a fucktoy.”

“Sick bastards! If I get to them—”

“If you do, it will be as a fucktoy that does what they order it… Just ignore it. We tried to unlock options and failed, that’s all… Let’s put the bodysuits on and go sleep.”

Part 21

“For a girl that often goes to work in good-looking skirt and heels, jeans and a simple blouse like this one would be a hint that you are a bit down. Do you want to convey that?”

“Oooohhhhh… women and their hints!”

“Complaining does not befit a man. And your intelligence would benefit from learning some subtlety. Want to be able to understand women?” Carlo smiled.

“Oh well… Definitely don’t want to hint being down.” The other women – that is, the women – at work would instantly conclude that something is wrong with me and Carlo, and that would be totally untrue. He… well, she deserved better.

“Well, try adding some femininity then. The blue dress?

“No, I feel like wearing jeans today.”

“Low-heel lady shoes?”

“Don’t have such ones.”

“Best buy a pair, a girl like you needs them. Like Lexie, that is, no offense meant!”

“None taken.” I was already used to being considered a girl. It was embarrassing to admit it to myself, but even I sometimes thought of myself as one, while being Lexie. And after I had seen the intelligence of Carla, being a woman didn’t look to me detrimental at all.

“Some nice clips, then?… Best buy a few pairs too. A girl needs them… Don’t make such a face. Yeah, being female is expensive and takes a lot of thinking and intelligence. Even if you have inhumanly perfect beauty that doesn’t age or need cosmetics, don’t have to care for female hygiene, don’t suffer from monthly inconveniences, aren’t afraid of getting pregnant and tons of other stuff.”

“… But if you know about these too, you learn to value women and care for them,” I continued.

“And they see it and value you, trust me.”

“You think I don’t hear who the other… that is, the women in the company discuss all the time? And what they say about him?”

Carlo blushed slightly. Then sighed:

“The bodysuit was a huge lesson to me too. Before, I thought that men’s egos are so fragile because they are all spoiled brats. However, when I was accepted as one of them and started hearing things they would never say in the presence of a woman, I understood a lot… Looks like men are physically the stronger sex, but emotionally the weaker one. Many things hurt a woman emotionally, but then she recovers and forgets. Men get permanent scars from it, despite that they put much more effort into overcoming it. And they fight what hurts them alone, silently, not burdening anyone around with their problems. Now it looks to me like in many things the women are spoiled brats.”

“You are anything but spoiled. And not only that… You are more a man than men, and at the same time more a woman than women. The absolute best of both… Many other women are decent, nice and anything but spoiled. But you are unique.”

Carlo blushed even more.

“That sounds like a love confession…”

I felt myself blushing too.

“… But honestly, I think the same about you,” he continued. “You are a great man, I noticed how much you cared about me during the weekend. Even during sex – do you know how few men care for the girl and put her needs first?… And as Lexie you are a girl out of tales and dreams. Your beauty and the grace might be the bodysuit, but your niceness, warmth, decency, appreciation and care are you only, and I have never seen so much of them in a woman. I learned tons in that from you. Little wonder that all men at work are a bit in love with you…”

I felt myself blushing violently.

“… What about this shirt? It brings excellent harmony with the jeans. Add this brooch and you will be just perfect.”

“Thanks.” I quickly started putting on the shirt. “And… You know, you will likely benefit from having a Swiss pocket knife. It is a really handy and universal tool, men love them.”

“Great idea!… And thinking of it, I like them too, just never bought one because it is so un-feminine to carry. Hey, being a man is great!… Let’s hurry up, or we will be late for work.”

* * *

“… but these with too many tools are unwieldy and inconvenient to handle,” I explained while we were coming out of the subway. “Six to eight tools are the perfect compromise, most of them have more than one usage, you will have at least one good for practically everything. That’s why I suggested this one… Here are the keys from the apartment, I want to go buy groceries for Aunt Lauretta first.”

“Are you sure that I am still welcome?”

“Why wasting time to travel to your place?” Well, it was also true that I liked being with Carlo. With Carla… Hell with it, they are one, and she is really Carla! Exactly like I am really Damiano! No matter how we both look!…

The bell of Aunt Lauretta sounded as oldish as everything about her. I had to wait for half a minute before she showed up, eyes wide with surprise:

“Lexie? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, Aunt Lauretta. I just… I was in the Aldi and saw on promotion some things that I thought you might like. And decided to surprise you.”

She again stood motionless, with tears showing in her eyes.

“Lexie… does your boyfriend know that you are spending money on me?!”

“Yes. He nudged me to do it too. And paid half of it.”

“You…” A tear rolled down her cheek. “Would you come in for a tea? This bag looks too heavy for me to carry.”

“Of course.” The bag was heavy indeed, I had bought a lot of everything, to be sure that she would not need to economize.

A minute later we were sitting in her small kitchen and she was pouring tea in small China cups with flower motifs.

“Is there anything I can help you with, dear? You do so much for me, I feel really indebted.”

“Nothing, Aunt Lauretta. I just wanted to bring you something…” Suddenly a thought passed through my head. “My landlord, I know next to nothing about him. You surely know him better, he is your neighbor, could you tell me a thing or two?” It was a good idea to see myself from aside.

“I guess you have noticed that he has found another girl, and ask about her? It is true. Sadly, even your incredible beauty cannot keep a man waiting for you too long.” She sighed.

“I don’t want to keep him for myself, I have a boyfriend and like him.” I blushed slightly. “If he has found a girl, good for him, he looked to me like he needs one. Just want to know, what kind of a person he is? It is always useful to know that about your landlord.”

“So you aren’t jealous?” Aunt Lauretta looked at me with a bit of mistrust. “He is a very well-mannered and decent boy. A bit socially clumsy, but nice and good-hearted. A good catch, especially if things do not go well with your boyfriend.”

“Thank you, they currently go just fine.” Carla and me were stuck together, like it or not. “And what about his new girlfriend? Do you think they will hold as a couple?”

“Also a very kind and nice person. By far not as beautiful as you, but smart and nice girl. She undoubtedly has noticed that he is a very good choice. And I think that she would be a good choice for him too. They both appear quiet but trusty, I think they will hold together for a long time. I hope that this does not disappoint you.”

“Not at all. I…”

“I don’t think that she will be able to steal Carlo from you, if you are afraid of that. You are way more attractive than her, Carlo should be really stupid to abandon you. And if he does, you will very easily woo Damiano, he might not be so good-looking, but is a very decent guy too.”

“I hope that they will hold together.”

“I hope it too. I know what is to be without a family…” She sighed. “You know, my life wasn’t easy for the last few years. I was already thinking that people has become rude, lacking sympathy and humanity. However, you gave me a hope for the young. First you and Carlo, then they. One nice couple could be an exception, but two are already a rule.” She smiled.

“Thank you for the nice words, Aunt Lauretta…”

She sighed and smiled again.

“You might not believe it, but when I was young, I was beautiful too. Not as much as you, but still looked good. I made some money by modeling for painters and sculptors… Once Bartellini himself, he was then not thirty yet but already famous, asked me to model for him, for a painting. Then again, for a sculpture. And then…”

She said nothing for a minute, then continued:

“I was barely twenty and we… something lit between us. He wanted me to model for him again and again, had no eyes for any other woman. Neither had I for anyone but him. His works sold well and he spent every penny on me. Bought me the finest dresses, led me to every beautiful place in existence, invited me to the best restaurants… For almost ten years we were inseparable. Didn’t have an official marriage. You don’t care for papers when your heart is full…”

She fell silent again, this time for longer. Eventually continued:

“At some moment, he started cooling towards me. I felt rejected and abandoned, but thought of his good only. I pulled aside, to give him the freedom he wanted, I valued his happiness so much more than mine… Turned out, he had found another girl, younger than me…”

I couldn’t think of anything to say to that. She had deserved better from the life than this.

“Aunt Lauretta, I am so sorry about your loss—”

“Don’t be. I am not.” She smiled. “Yes, I had hoped that we will grow old and die together. I am still sorry that we didn’t. But I still love him, and that keeps the warmth in my heart. Wouldn’t wish to anyone to be abandoned like me, that is why I hope you the young will be together forever. However, I am not sorry that I was with him. If I could go back, I wouldn’t change it. A decade of life with your true love is worth more than a thousand lives without one.”

* * *

“So, she thought that I would be afraid of you, because you might be jealous of me, thinking that I would try to steal myself from you. And because of that, you might try to steal yourself from me, but would have no chance, since I am more beautiful than you. Or, you might try to get me to kick out myself, together with you, to avoid you abandoning me and stealing yourself from me, and thus leaving me without yourself. But, if you start affair with yourself to steal yourself from me, I could easily get revenge for that by wooing myself, as I would woo myself more easily than you will woo yourself… And the best part for me is, I have a choice and might decide to start first an affair with myself, despite that I am here only when I am not here and vice versa. Because if either I quit my job up the mountain or I quit visiting my parents during the weekends, I could meet myself and fall in love with myself, as I and I would be a couple no less nice than you and you…”

Carlo was lying on the bed and laughing so hard that he had to brush his tears off.

“That is better than that old story of the guy who was his own grandfather. These bodysuits can mess everyone’s head… Wanna go out for a dinner?”

“Oh, I should better cook something for my boyfriend. Otherwise, that pesky girl who they say was here during the weekend might go and steal him from me.”

“Can you cook?”

“Of course. How do you think I survived while not having a job? Raw materials are cheaper than even microwaveable packages. I even bought the ingredients for something…”

“That was delicious,” Carlo said an hour later, after finishing his portion. “I like chicken with rice, but have rarely eaten one so good.”

“Thank you for the compliment… Any entertainment?”

“Of course. A good boyfriend must always be able to think of something… Do you like gaming?”

“Well, I have tried Lands of Glory as a student and liked it. But haven’t played since then.”

“That was about five years ago? It was a rage then, even I had heard about it from inside the orphanage. Now there is Lands of Glory 3, you will like it even more…” Carlo quickly started selecting menus on the wall screen. “What gun you prefer? M-28? Halil-5?”

“Do they still have Chengu Commando, with the laser sights? I liked it a lot then.”

“Yes… One-to-one shootout?”

“Sure!”

Initially Carlo did much better, but then I managed to even the game. For about two hours we hid, stalked, shot one at another, killed vermin and brigands that attacked us. At the end I even managed to surprise and kill him…

While playing, I had forgotten about the damned bodysuit. I was just myself. I didn’t care if I was Damiano or Lexie. Yes, I had chosen a female character and named her Lexie, but that was just… well, the habit to comply with the bodysuit, nothing else. From there on, I didn’t care about sexes or anything.

But… Did Carlo let me win? Like a nice boyfriend who is supportive to his girlfriend?

Or like a nice girlfriend who has a mercy on the ego of her boyfriend?

As if there was much of a difference. And as if it mattered…

There was so much I could yet to learn about being a man from Carlo. And, heck, about being a woman from Carla. And the strangest of all was that these so often were the same thing…

“It was a pleasure, thank you… Time to sleep?”

“Sure. I will take the couch.”

“No way. I am sure that you won’t force yourself on me. Even if you have at all a desire to have sex with a woman as a man.”

“Well, there might be some benefit in it. Help you satisfy sexual tension, for one.”

“I don’t feel a sexual tension!”

“Why then did you have sex with me two days ago?” Carlo smiled.

“Ummm, when I’m myself, I do. When I am Lexie, I don’t. It is easy.”

“I guess then that this belongs to some former girlfriend?” Before I could react, Carlo reached to the nightstand next to the bed, opened the bottom drawer and took the vibrator out of it.

I was mortified.

“Um… well… The fucking bodysuit does not allow any other way to get some relief! Do you know how hard is for a man to stay for a week without any? While being constantly in a body that could arouse a corpse?!” I wanted to die on the spot.

“Calm down, please. Do you think that girls don’t feel sexual tension? And that they don’t use toys? This is designed and manufactured for girls!”

“Do you use toys yourself?” I still couldn’t control myself.

“I absolutely would, probably fancier than yours. However, I could only afford to buy one since I started being a man five days in a week. And men don’t need a toy for that.” Carlo blushed slightly.

“You mean… you have masturbated as a man?!”

“And you have masturbated as a woman. It is the circumstances that are strange, what we both did in them is the only normal.”

This helped me finally get myself under control. Shame on me – I behaved like a hysterical girl…

“It might even be beneficial,” Carlo continued. “For example, learning how women feel during sex could help you be absolutely great lover. Including to me.” He winked.

“And you learning how men feel during sex could help you be absolutely great lover too?” I tried to join the joke.

“Yes. But the main benefit might be unloading the tension a bit. When we were coming from work, I noticed how you check almost every girl. More discreetly than most men, but still… Of course, if you don’t want to, we won’t do it. If I were you, I would be curious about it, but there is no way I’m forcing you, no matter what.”

“And why you would be curious about it, if you were me? To become a better lover?”

“And because I would be a man enough to try being a woman.” Carlo grinned.

Hinting that I’m not a man enough to try it?

“Well,…” I blushed. “To be honest, I am curious too.” I hesitated for a moment, then forced myself to continue. “They say that women get it many times better than men, and honestly, it feels true. It was harder to bring myself to the top, but once I reached it, there are no words to describe it. I wouldn’t want to be permanently a woman for that, but it is a total wow. I don’t know if the bodysuit gives me the real version of what a woman feels, but…”

“Sounds like it does… Well, my bodysuit doesn’t decrease the strength of the orgasm, I lose nothing. But there is a feeling of having power and control that I don’t get without the bodysuit. And when I imagine having sex like this with a girl, that feeling is incredible. I dunno, maybe growing up in an orphanage has made me insecure, but I loved it. Exactly like you – I wouldn’t want to be permanently a man for that, but it feels great… Okay, we aren’t going to do it. Hell will freeze over long before I force you to have sex.”

“Let’s go to bed then.” My first thought was to ask him to turn away while I undressed, but then realized how idiotic that would be. Though Carlo still undressed without looking at me and with his back towards me. Probably to not scare me with his package.

Two days ago, we had gone to bed again with me as a girl and him as a man, but then we kept as far one from another as possible. Now Carlo tried again to balance on the bed’s edge, but I was ashamed of forcing him to sleep like that:

“Oh, move here! Get some comfort!”

“Are you sure—”

“Of course.” I pulled him towards me. Then, without thinking, somehow instinctively, nestled towards him.

He was bigger than me – it was so convenient to lean to him, exactly like a girl next to a boy. I had never nestled like this towards men and would expect it to revolt me. To my greatest surprise, it didn’t. It felt like just sleeping next to another mountain rescuer. Maybe even more comfortable. Somehow more assuring, more secure…

Shit! I was completely naked!

While alone, I was used to sleeping like that. When I had to start sleeping in the bodysuit, this hadn’t changed, there was no need to put anything on. Our first night in one bed, we had slept in our underwear. But I was distracted now and had taken everything off by habit…

But why worry? Carlo was actually Carla, and was not into girls. Would not feel any need to touch me and so on… And even if she did, she would be touching the bodysuit, not the real me, I wasn’t actually naked at all! And she already touched me a lot during the weekend night, and this didn’t worried me at all! We had sex and I loved it! Why should I be worried about that now…

This time however I was the girl. Would I agree to be fucked by a man?

Well, definitely not, but Carlo was not really a man, he was Carla. Whom I liked and admired, and had had sex with. This changed the things a lot.

Would it feel as good as with the vibrator? Likely yes. Maybe even more.

But that scared me too. I was afraid that if I get it too many times, I could become addicted to it. The pleasure the vibrator brought was mind-boggling. Every time I tried to not moan and failed. Almost screamed during the peak, the orgasms were earth-shattering… But still, the sex as a man after that, two days ago, was as great as before. I definitely was satisfied by it. So, there was no need to worry.

And… If I moaned and screamed while having sex with Carlo, I might look indecent… But so what? Carla did it while we were having sex and wasn’t ashamed of it. Why should I be? Neither she looked indecent, too…

Why I was thinking about all this right now? Was it because… because I felt sexual tension? Initially as Lexie I was too ashamed and feeling down to pay attention to that. But once I got on top of it, the feeling of being in a smoking hot female body was a constant sexual torture. Even worse than holding such a girl in your arms and not being able to have sex with her. And being ashamed of feeling it didn’t helped it at all. I was so relieved after I could make myself masturbate as Lexie…

Yes, hugging next to Carlo made me feel again the femininity of the bodysuit again. The smoothness and the softness of its skin, the curves of its breasts, all that feeling mine… My entire body felt like it was on fire. I instinctively pressed myself towards Carlo. Gosh, I could really do with some relief now!

So when I felt the blanket being pulled slightly by a stirring from the direction of his crotch, this was somehow… okay. After all, this was actually Carla, a girl. It would be the same as using the vibrator, the only difference was that a girl would be helping me. One that I already had had sex with. One that I adored…

Carlo lightly moved his hand over my hair. The feeling was… I could not describe it. Like hearing from far tender night blues. Relaxing, calming and at the same time arousing even more…

I hugged him strongly, squeezing myself into him. And he tenderly stroked my hair again…

Part 22

“I guess the bodysuit produces it like making hair and beard from our hair and skin cells. Or like your wetness during sex. But I don’t think one can get pregnant from it.”

“I very much hope I cannot,” I noted. We both laughed. “Though your stamina is amazing.”

“Bodysuit’s stamina. I am wiry for a girl, I hope, but no way to do that for so long without its help… What amazed me is that you got four orgasms. I have listened to a lot of sex – not by my choice – and I am yet to see a man get more than three in a row. Especially so strong ones, and only two days after having plenty of sex.”

“I guess their strength is due to the bodysuit. The first time I masturbated in it, the orgasm was just a bit stronger than otherwise, but since then it is stronger every time. I was afraid that the bodysuit somehow turns me into a real girl, but it looks like it tunes how it transmits the feelings, learning with the time how to achieve the most… And I also guess that this night it was your skill at sex too.”

“I can’t help but know what makes a girl feel good,” Carlo smiled. “And, before you ask, I felt great too. Way different than when I have sex as a girl, but as a whole even better…”

“If we don’t hurry up, we will be late for work,” I noted while putting on the tights. Then noticed that Carlo cannot tear his eyes off my legs. “Like what you see?”

“Umm…” Carlo blushed. “Frankly, I envy the grace you do it with. Like a ballet dancer. I know that is the bodysuit control of movements, but it still looks great… And there is a bit of other liking, a very strange one. Feeling not exactly aroused, but happy that my boyfriend, currently girlfriend, is so beautiful. Sounds twisted because I’m not into girls, but I know that it is really you and somehow being beautiful adds to liking you…” He blushed even more.

“And maybe because right now you don’t look like a girl and aren’t jealous of my looks?”

“Very true! And also, I look as a really handsome and charming man, a league far above what I am as a woman, on par with a beauty like you, and that brings self-confidence… To change the topic, young couples that like one another often trade barbs. Maybe it’s a good idea to make some show for the colleagues. Pretend that we don’t want them to hear, but actually speak just enough loud and so on.”

“I don’t know if I will be good at this.”

“Haven’t you dreamed to be an actress… argh, sorry! These bodysuits!…”

I couldn’t stop myself from giggling. Then noticed how girlish it sounds. And then that this doesn’t worry me at all. I had somehow lost my fear from being girlified. Probably because I already knew it will not happen, all I would ever need to be myself was just to take the bodysuit off.

“Let’s go, or we risk being late.”

* * *

When we entered the lobby, Mommy and Vinnie already waited for the elevator. Carlo nudged me slightly and pretended continuing to speak something already started:

“– And this is not okay. If we are going to be together—”

“Shhh, not in front of our colleagues!” I interrupted him and glanced at him with what I hoped to be a grave expression. Mommy and Vinnie stood with their backs to us, but their faces were reflected in the polished surface of the elevator door and I could see how they exchanged glances.

In the elevator, Carlo and I exchanged several hard looks for the benefit of the two women. After putting on the work uniforms, we went to the end of the lobby, as if to not be heard by the others, and started another exchange:

“And why you insisted on making a fancy breakfast? Sure, it was great, but we were almost late. If we weren’t lucky with the subway—”

“It’s not only my fault! Did you had to fix that door meanwhile?”

“It was just a couple of minutes of work—”

“Couple of minutes, no way! I know my way around tools, despite being a girl – that would be an hour of work for me! You are either damn lucky or dexterous as hell! Don’t do such things anymore!”

“Oooohh… Why you women always feel that they ought to run the home?”

“Because we know better at home! And not only there! And why you men always try to show off what can you do?”

“Because we can, unlike you!… Okay, let’s go work.”

“You are not getting away with this, mister! I will be reminding you of it for a long time!”

“Oooohhhh… women!”

When I entered The Boudoir, the women were exchanging glances, and I could feel them exchanging nods behind my back too. Good, I thought – obviously the performance we staged with Carlo was a good start!

“Is everything okay between you and Carlo?” Mommy asked carefully when I sat down. “I got the impression…”

“Oh, not a problem at all,” I replied cheerfully. “We just got delayed a bit, were almost late for work and were nervous about it. And Carlo was trying to be polite and avoid saying it directly.”

“Are you sure that it is nothing more? You sounded like something between you is wrong…”

“Absolutely nothing. And you know, men should be put to their place. Or they start to imagine they are the masters at home.”

I expected the women to snicker at this. To my surprise, all four spoke at the same time:

“Carlo deserves better than this. Give him a break—”

“Lexie, don’t be so nasty to Carlo! He is not the typical infantile boy—”

“T-t-this is n-not fair! He deserves b-b-better! D-don’t—”

“My advice is, learn to value him. Or you will lose him and it’ll be your fault.”

Aaaaarrrgh, that Carlo!

“Hey, I expected that you will support me!”

“We will, always” Mommy looked at me. “But know your place. When when you’re someone like Carlo, be understanding and kind.”

* * *

“That is the female solidarity for you” noted Carlo with sad irony in his voice. “But still, you got away easily. I was warned both by Filippo and by Nicola Petruccio that I should better be nice to you. More directly than you were.” He held one of the chairs around a small round table next to the huge window. “I had to promise that I will invite you to lunch at some good place as an apology for them to calm down a bit.” He took the chair opposite and looked at me with a smile. “But it still might be a good idea to have disagreements before them sometimes.”

“A bit nicer ones. Would be better for both of us.”

“Welcome to Tech Cafe! Would you like a menu?” a melodic voice said behind me.

“Yes, please.” Carlo had invited me to lunch in the cafe on the top floor of the mall next to the company. The view was really nice – the skyline of Milan, some white clouds against a brilliant blue sky…

A hand put a menu on the table before me. I looked at it and for a tenth of a second was about to jump. Then quickly looked at the waitress.

She was mechanical! Made to look like a beautiful teenage girl, but with slightly opened seams along her arms and face, through which shone metal. Probably to make sure that the customers know that she is not human and they don’t try to hide it.

“Thank you very much,” Carlo replied calmly. “I will have a piece of Pischinger cake and a Napolitano coffee.” He looked at me.

“Ughh… a fruit cake and a Coke for me, please.”

“Thank you, Miss. Thank you, Mister.” The robot curtsied slightly, took the menus back and walked away. I continued to look after her.

“Haven’t you heard they are using androids in all kinds of jobs?” Carlo asked.

“I had, but had never seen them myself before… Looks like more and more people will remain jobless. Maybe including us at some point. It’s not going to be good.”

“Don’t worry. Don’t you follow the discussions about introducing universal income?”

“Yes, I heard they plan to introduce something like that for the poor.”

“They plan to have it signed into law in about six months. But initially it will be small. It will take them probably 2-3 years before they increase it enough for people to live normally and cover everyone but the richest.”

“You think they will? Even providing for subsistence only will mean increasing the taxes on everybody who still makes their money, and that will be almost only the big companies, they will carry the brunt of it. They will lobby that away. Or do you expect them to be into charity?”

“They will have to cave. It is in their own interest. If people don’t have enough to spend, the businesses can’t sell enough to profit, it is a circle. Leave people on subsistence only, and 80%, maybe 90% of the big companies will go bankrupt. High taxes are bad, but going bankrupt is worse.”

“Isn’t this circle kinda perpetual motion machine?”

“Nope. Producing anything, good or services, is where you get out more than you put in and create surplus and profits. If you can’t sell, you don’t produce, no profits for you, not even income to support yourself. If all companies replace their workers with robots to not pay them and keep the money, nobody will be able to buy anything, all companies will go bankrupt. Better have this wheel rotating and giving the big owners less than everything, but enough for good existence and some profit on top of that, than stopping it and going penniless. Models show that with good universal income companies will get the same profits as now, or even better with an optimal balance…

“Thank you, Miss.” He moved slightly left to allow the robotic waitress to serve his cake too. Shame on me – I hadn’t done it while she served my food. I hadn’t even noticed her doing it.

“It is my pleasure, Mister. Have a good appetite, Miss, Mister.”

“Thank you,” I replied. “So it is matter of convincing the companies that they will profit this way and go bankrupt the other way?”

“Most already know it, including all bigger ones. The problem is, there are other things too. Fix who gets how much too strictly and there’s no development, you kill the progress. And the competition too, things start going down. Leave that too loose, and everybody is scared that they will be out-cheated or out-competed and bankrupted. Finding the balance is hard, finding a way to grant it and making the business trust this way is even harder. But it is the only option now, anything else leads in the abyss and all important people know it. So they will have to find such a way… Mmm, this cake is really good! You should try it.”

“Oh, such a high-calorie meal is for guys. We girls should watch out for our weight, the fruit cake is perfect for us.” I tried to hide my smile.

“So true! I see you have filled out your skirt in the last month. You probably will need to diet a bit, to take this extra kilogram off.”

“And you should eat more. I like you carrying me in your arms so much, and you will not have the strength to do it…”

“Really?” Carlo smiled, jumped from his chair, grabbed me in his arms and rotated with me. I could only shriek and grab his neck for support. The next moment I realized how girlish that had been, but didn’t care.

Nobody around understood why actually we were laughing so hard. They were seeing a happy boy carrying a happy girl in his arms. None of them knew that it is actually a girl enjoying a great physical strength that she hadn’t had before, that surely she had dreamed of, and a boy too confused to do anything but be happy with the pleasure his girl was getting.

And the strangest thing was, I wasn’t revolted from being carried in the arms of Carlo. Well, if that was someone other than him, I would not just be revolted – I would instantly beat the fucker into a pulp. I’d take out all my the pent-up frustration from having to be a girl on him… But that was actually Carla. The girl I liked so much. For her to enjoy strength, I would happily be carried as a girl. When she was doing it, I even liked it…

But wasn’t it exactly the same with every girl? Liking to be carried in the arms of her man, but hating the idea for someone else to grab her?… I didn’t feel a bit like a woman right now. Just happily did what would make my girl happy. Why it was the same that a woman would do? Despite that she would feel it differently, I guess? Were the sexes actually so similar, despite appearing so opposite?…

“So in several years we will be able to live off welfare? Sounds good, but we still need to make it until then,” I noted while we were coming out of the mall.

“Yeah. Looks like we still cannot afford to ditch the bodysuits,” Carlo replied while looking at a kid, running against us with an augmented reality set on his head. “We should try and prepare the company for this somehow, but so far I don’t have a clue even where to start…”

I didn’t either. No matter how much I dreamed to be myself full-time and carry Carla in my arms, that would have to wait. And would require a lot of thinking and inventiveness.

* * *

After coming to work Wednesday, when we were about to start out scripting lesson, there was a knock on the door. I went and opened it. There was standing Nicola Petruccio.

“May I help with something, Mr. Petruccio?”

“Ladies, you can all help.” He smiled widely. “Yesterday I became a grandfather! So I am providing a lunch to all my colleagues. Be at “Piccola Calabria” at noon, that is two blocks down the street!

“Hoorah for Grandpa Nicola!” I heard the voice of Mommy behind me. “Boy or girl?”

“Girl. But the next one might be a boy.” Petruccio smiled again.

“Congratulations, Mr. Petruccio!” I hurried up. My voice was joined by everyone else in the room.

“May you invite us when you become great-grandfather,” Carlo added. “And when you become great-great-grandfather too!”

“I promise to!” Petruccio nodded to us all. “Come hungry!”

The restaurant turned out to be small but cozy and somehow homey. We ordered and had started eating when I felt a slight nudge from Carlo. Looked at him – he barely noticeably winked at me. Hmm… What argument I could think of, to make it nice?

“Isn’t it better to, um, pay professionals to renovate the kitchen? Okay, I know you are skilled at such things, but still—” I said to him quietly, as if trying to not be heard by the others.

“If you know it, then why object? Don’t you trust me? Or you just want to have it your way?”

“Hey, stop thinking that women always seek to boss men around!… And, if you want to know, the kitchen is the woman’s domain! Let it be my way!”

I noticed from the corner of my eye Mommy and Lu exchanging meaningful glances. Good!

“I can make it in any way you want! Why don’t you trust me? I know you have a better taste than mine, I’m just a techie. And it is not like we have the money to renovate it—”

“Don’t even think of taking that second job, I forbid you! I don’t care that they offer you a lot!”

“Hey, we could use these money and that is my time and effort, not yours! You again are trying to boss me around! Women…”

“I want some of your time for myself too! Do you men ever think of your wives? We are humans too, you know! Men…”

“Why then you don’t accept my help with washing dishes, cleaning, laun—”

“This is woman’s work! A woman that has her man do the house work is a spoiled brat that doesn’t deserve to have a man!”

“Then why did you get angry when I refused your help with fixing the wardrobe? Men who have their girls fix and make things at home are sissies! Sorry, I am not one of them!”

Was Carla hinting that I am a sissy for letting her fix the vacuum cleaner at home? That was not fair.

“And I am not a spoiled brat and will not allow you touch the household chores! Do not expect me to be that! No decent woman would permit that!” I had the right to pick at her for never objecting to me sharing the chores.

“We live in modern times, it is OK for men to help women. The other way round is not so. Women have to care for so many more things – appearance, clothes, hygiene, everything. Men get it so easy, it is a total shame if they don’t help.”

I noticed Grace nodding with admiration to Lu, and my mood soured further. For them, it looked that Carlo is oh so noble and decent. In reality, Carla was trying to tell me that I owe her help just for being a man. Yes, I liked her more than any girl I had ever seen, but this still was not right!

“Nothing like that! Whatever takes some strength, men get to do it, women just stand aside and encourage them. And then wonder why men are tired when they get home. “Darling, go to the shop and buy 20 kilograms of stuff, I love you very much!” Sandra had done this with me more times than I could count.

“Yep, sure. Men get tired and women don’t. They aren’t so strong physically, even a little physical work can be exhausting and men don’t care about that. Same for shopping groceries and so on. If all men understood that, women would be so much closer to actual equality!”

“There will never be actual equality when women can give birth. Yes, raising a child is a huge responsibility and effort, but men usually are willing to shoulder all they can do, put in the same amount of effort. And they even sometimes do it. But if a woman decides, she can extort them with divorcing and denying them access to children, and these children are their own too. It is not just!”

“I agree, it is not just.” Was Carlo trying to calm down the things? “But most women are decent humans, and will not use that against a decent man. Or anything else. I know that women are not always into having sex, but sometimes do it just to have their man satisfied and happy… Much like men sometimes do it for their girls, if they are able to.”

I didn’t remembered Sandra having sex with me if she wasn’t in a mood to. But… was that true? Knowing how socially clumsy I was before the bodysuit opened my eyes, was it possible that she had had sex with me and pretended to be in the mood just to satisfy me? Maybe many times, without me realizing it?…

“True. But if a man likes a woman, he would do that for her too. Women are also human and might feel need for sex too, right?”

“I guess so… But let’s eat, everybody is already finishing with the lunch and we barely started it.”

I ate, pretending to not pay attention to the others around, but at the same time trying to watch them. They looked like our banter has been their main show. Women exchanged looks and hushed words. Men were looking at both me and Carlo with expressions of sympathy, admiration, even awe. I suppressed a smile. Mission accomplished!

Part 23

“Why don’t we go tomorrow and fetch your things? There is no sense in you paying rent, we fit well together. And in Sunday, I would love to teach you some climbing.” It was Friday evening and we had just returned from work.

“Are you sure?” There was a bit of conscience in the voice of Carlo.

“Yes. I… I like you. Like, really.”

“I could come for the weekends only, to not intrude on you—”

“I like you during the weekdays too… Of course, if you don’t like being a man with a woman, I will not force it, no matter what. But apart from that, I would really like us to live together.”

Carlo blinked a couple of times and I noticed that he swallowed.

“You… are you really sure? That you like a girl who looks like a pumpkin on a stick, and is so plain, and tomboyish and into IT? And on top of that all is a man most of the time? I know well enough that you aren’t into men… You deserve a lot better. Some… some real woman.”

“You don’t know how great you are. You are so cute and sweet that I wouldn’t abandon you for the most beautiful models. And you are so smart, kind and decent person that I would love to be your friend even if you were a man. It is not that I deserve better than you – you deserve a lot better than me. But I still hope that I can win you. You are the best woman in the world, I will never find a better one because she does not exist.”

A tear rolled on Carlo’s cheek. Just in time to remind me once again how sweet, vulnerable and nice girl was there inside this example of masculinity.

“Lexie… that is, Damiano… What a dumbhead I am!… Are you sure that you want to link your life with a girl from an orphanage? Who fears even her own shadow, who has been raped more than once, who is nothing like the happy and radiant girl that… that you are as Lexie? You, who are more a man than any other I know? And I know a few, trust me!”

“I am a wannabe man. So much of what I know about being a man I have learned from you. And you are the most beautiful, kindest, nicest, sweetest girl I have ever seen!…” All the rom-coms I have watched sprang up in my head, I rose up from the coach and tried to put a knee down. The skirt was too tight and I had to kneel with both legs, not caring for the tights. “Carlo… shit, Carla, would you be my girlfriend? And yes, also my boyfriend during the weekdays… damn these bodysuits!”

Carlo watched me with big eyes. Then suddenly burst into laughter.

“Whatever gods there may be, be my witnesses, I am sure that such a scene is not seen often!… But hey, this is not proper. An unbelievably beautiful girl kneeling to offer her heart to a man just isn’t right.”

“I don’t care what is right and not, and who is the girl and who is the man. My offer stands.”

“I have a better idea. You will make this offer tomorrow, when you are the boy and I am the girl.” Carlo got up from the coach, lifted me up by the shoulders like I weighted nothing and knelt before me:

“Sweet Lexie, love of my heart, sunshine of my eyes, music of my ears, would you be my girlfriend?”

My head already in turmoil, it took me an effort to get myself under control and respond in the proper vein:

“Of course, brave Carlo, love of my heart, joy in my dreams, power in my life!”

Carlo jumped up and grabbed me, and we both screamed with laughter.

Part of me was bewildered at what we were doing. Wasn’t it a complete insanity? An utter mess that words failed to describe? Playing on the strange playground we had found ourselves on, to the point where we nearly forget ourselves and become someone else entirely? Living our masks so deeply that we were becoming them?

Or maybe we were realizing that we have been wearing masks for all of our life, without understanding this at all. And that strange playground had shown us that we can swap these masks for other, very different ones, and learn a lot from it. And no matter how we changed our masks, we could still always be our true selves behind them, always keep our own value and essence. And this will show through every mask we wear…

Suddenly I felt the erection of Carlo.

“Um… do you…?

“I have set it on automatic reaction. The bodysuit has an erection when… when…” Carlo blushed.

“So you are… by me? I mean…”

Carlo inhaled deeply.

“You can’t even imagine how strange it is… You are so hot as a girl that even most women would feel a bit aroused around you. It is not enough to make me want sex with you, more a feeling like “if she only was somehow male, I would be dying for him”. But when I remember that you are actually male, and both the best lover and the best man I have seen, I am instantly ready for sex with you, no matter what sex am I and what are you… Gosh, I am saying that to a man…” Carlo blushed so deeply that his face became almost purple.

I felt a pity for him… her… And, if I had to be honest, I also felt aroused in a strange way. Somehow the femininity of my bodysuit that I constantly felt, and which even after months of experience continued to arouse me, combined with my sympathy and liking for Carla. And, exactly like her, I felt a need to have sex with her, no matter what sex we are at the moment. Not after eight hours. Right now.

“Where do you see a man, Carlo? Apart from you, I don’t see one here.” I looked around exaggeratedly.

“Lexie, if you don’t stop joking at my expense, I will punish you!” He let me carefully down and flexed his muscles in a bodybuilder pose.

“I deserve to be punished! I was a bad girl, if you don’t give me a proper punishment, I might become even worse!”…

* * *

“My landlady is not a very nice person, but that doesn’t matter. If we meet her, don’t get aggravated. We will take my things and never see her anymore.”

“Of course,… Is that your building? Looks semi-abandoned.”

“It was the cheapest I could find. And I could use from here the free wi-fi of the pub in that building next to it… Second floor… The right corridor… Room 204.”

The room was tiny, almost half of it taken by a bed. A small wardrobe, a small table and a chair nearly filled the rest. No restroom – the inhabitant likely had to use a common one… Carla quickly opened the wardrobe and started taking clothes out of it:

“Give me a bag… Okay, the next one…”

“Running away, eh?” A screechy voice almost made me jump. I turned back. At the door stood a woman in her sixties, dressed in old fake fur coat and with an expression on her face that could turn milk sour. “I’m not returning you any money for the rest of the month, you should have warned me in advance. And forget about the deposit too! Letting that lover of yours to live here! Have you no shame?”

“He is not a lover, but my cousin. And I paid you more for taking him too—”

“Cousin, sure! Do you take me for an idiot?! What strumpets you young girls are! No decency, no modesty, no anything!… And while he is living here, you never come! Sleeping left and right while he is waiting for you here! Gosh…”

“I told you I am working in Turin, cannot afford to come during the weekdays. That is why I could let my cousin live here then, how we would otherwise both fit on that bed?!”

“The way to be expected, of course! And I guess you would do it even if he really was your cousin! You are lucky that I could not catch you both here, or I would throw you out on the spot! And would call the police to arrest you for indecent behavior!”

I ground my teeth, trying to control myself. This old crone had put me on the verge of calling her some names. To start with.

“Okay, I am leaving, and my cousin is leaving too, he warned me yesterday—”

“Does your ‘cousin’ know that you have found another lover? I will tell him the moment I see him, to know what a whore you are! Hope he gives you a good beating, that is what you deserve! And don’t you dare to take his clothes, I’m not paying him for them a penny!”

“He asked me to take them. He will come after work to take them from my new place.”

“If he comes and asks for them, I am sending all the police in Milan after you! I know them personally!”

Carla raised a brow but said nothing – just handled me three of the bags and took the other two. Her landlady however hadn’t finished with the invective:

“And you know what? You will very soon only be with this scoundrel here! I saw your ‘cousin’ yesterday on the street, chatting with a girl VERY happily! And she was a real beauty, you look like a floor mop next to her!… Smiling, eh? Not believing me? You’ll see!” She grinned nastily, turned her back on us and walked away.

After she disappeared behind the door at the end of the corridor, we almost ran away with the bags. I looked at Carla with admiration:

“You’ve got self-control. I barely held myself from responding to her in kind, despite that she said almost nothing about me… But I really liked her going on about how your ‘cousin’ found a girl and would abandon you.” I smiled.

“Who wouldn’t be confused by the bodysuits?” replied Carla distractedly. “And yes, she is nasty, but already has a punishment for it. Her stupidity and mindless conservatism are a punishment worse than I would give her…”

For some time, we just walked together, passing by the subway station without paying any attention to it.

“Did she offended you more than you admit?” asked Carla. “Or anything else?”

“I wonder about something. What might have made her see the world and the people in this way. What must have twisted her so badly… She is deplorable, but so many deplorable people just look it, they are actually victims, not villains…”

“Do you think many deplorable people are like that?”

“Before the bodysuit, I thought of Aunt Lauretta as an old gossip, good only for eavesdropping on people and then telling everything about them to everyone. But one day she met me as Lexie, stopped me for a talk and I was afraid to refuse her, to not attract her attention and gossiping. And during the talk found out that she is… well, whom she really is. A nice and decent person who deserved better from life than she got, and is horribly lonely, poor and desperate… I know other such people too.”

Carla sighed.

“My history teacher in the orphanage, Father Mauritio, was like this. Short, wrinkled, ugly, not a speck of charisma, always nagging at us to study well and be disciplined. We considered him a total twit and nuisance… When I was sixteen, he died. Turned out, he had cancer for years and was in pain all the time. And was rich, but didn’t live a posh life or even spend on treatment for himself, donated all of his money to the orphanage instead. Valued the roof and food for us more than his own life… When we learned this, we helped the workers on a building nearby in our free time for a week, in exchange for several wheelbarrows of bricks. Built from them a small memorial of him in the yard of the orphanage. Made his bust from clay, baked it in the kitchen oven and put it on the top…” She brushed a tear with the back of her hand.

“Umm…” Feeling that these memories are not easy on her, I tried to change the subject. “I noticed that most of your clothes are actually Carlo’s. Looks like you are becoming more a man than a woman.”

“Most of your clothes are Lexie’s too. Are you becoming more a woman than a man?”

“Well, no, but… You see, Lexie is me. Maybe not the real me, the me I feel being, but still a me. So, statistically speaking, some part of me is Lexie. I don’t know how to explain it…”

“Same for me and Carlo. It is… A bit like I am actually Carla, but that is kinda sorta two parts. One that is a female body and has documents in Carla’s name, likes sex with men and such things. And one that is my memory and tastes, and emotions and habits and thinking, my personality. Both are like layers in a model.”

“Huh?”

“Hm… Do you see that building there, that is standing on columns?”

“Yes?”

“Like it. The part of me that is my personality is like the building from the columns up. The floors with the offices and the apartments and everything really important. And the part that is my body and identity and sexual preferences is most of the columns under it. Most, but not all, because some are Carlo, his identity and body, that is, the bodysuit.”

“And your sexual attraction as Carlo to Lexie?”

“Exactly. And I might be standing on the columns that are Carla or on those that are Carlo. I prefer these that are Carla, but these that are Carlo are okay too… But the other, the more important part of me, my personality, it is always the same. No matter which columns it stands on.”

“I think I get it. I feel the same. Damiano is the real me, I prefer it. But being Lexie is bearable too, and even has some advantages. And when you are Carlo, I am okay to be Lexie. It might not be the real me, but is… mmm… let’s say an appropriate me then. Maybe even the me that makes me happier then.”

“Same here… These bags are heavy, what about taking the subway to your place?”

“Not to my place. To our place.” I smiled.

* * *

“There is something I should have told you before I moved here,” Carla started when we dropped the bags and sat in front of the screen. “I was a bit afraid to talk about it, but now realize that I must. And if you are scared by it, I am moving out, no objections and no grudge to you. I can afford a decent living place now, don’t worry about it.”

“Whatever it is, if you feel something for me, no way you are moving out.”

“Listen first and then decide, okay?”

“Shoot.”

“I told you before that when I left the orphanage, I couldn’t find a job. Survived by cleaning the office and the home of a lawyer. Slept in the waiting room of his office, luckily he permitted me, money wasn’t enough for a rent… At some point, he needed some info about a possible criminal and couldn’t obtain it. he sent out a word that he will give a reward to whoever got it for him. I hacked into several places, learning from every one bits and pieces. The last place was a security camera that had recorded what he wanted to know, they had deleted the records but I managed to undelete them. The lawyer was really impressed, offered me to choose between the reward and him trying to find me an IT job. Naturally, I chose the job…”

Carla kept silent for a minute, then continued:

“Turned out, this lawyer worked for a mafia capo. The biggest one in Italy. Gianfranco Puglisi.”

“Huh?!”

“Puglisi met me in person. Told me he wanted to test me, gave me a place to hack in and obtain some info. I felt this would not be easy, so I went extra careful, doubly and then some more. Even took a dose of meth, to be top sharp during the run… Not only the site was a hell to hack, I had some luck and noticed it is a trap. Ran a fake hit from a proxy, good but not enough to avoid the trap. When the trap closed on it, I closed on the trap, managed to find an exploit in it, trapped the trappers myself.”

“Wow. I knew you are good with IT, but that…”

“I dare to think I am more than just good… Talked with Puglisi, showed him trapping the trappers. Turned out, this place is a testbed built by his hackers, they had a second trap for those who are good enough to avoid the first, had closed it on me without me even noticing. Still, I passed their bar, and became a part of their team, the only person ever who not only avoided the first trap but got a lock back on it. I learned tons of tricks there, those guys were brilliant, I didn’t even knew one could be so good… That was the job I worked for three years. Will not tell you what I did there, hope you get why.”

“Hacked and eavesdropped on people, collecting compromising info? Among other things? I remember you telling me that you listened to a lot of sex.”

Carla sighed.

“You might be too smart for your own good… Then, one of the team decided to cheat Puglisi. He ran away with a ton of money and was brought back a couple of days later.. Partially – only the head… I didn’t plan to cheat, but all things end. When Puglisi decided he doesn’t need me anymore, he would surely kill me too, I knew too much… I thought about the situation as thoroughly as I could, decided that my best chance is to meet him before I have learned even more, talk with him, ask him to let me leave, promise him I will never talk no matter what. Better a horrible end than a horror without an end… To my surprise, he was understanding. Accepted it, wished me well, gave me some severance money. Told me that if I reconsider at any time, I’m welcome again.”

“At first I couldn’t believe I was alive. I spent a few days gawking around until finding my footing. Then came to Milan… and you know the rest.”

“So that is why you were so tense when we met Puglisi?… Wait! You did not tense when you saw him. But did it when he announced his name. But you just said that you had met him at work more than once!… Something does not add up, Carla. You might think that it is better for me to not know it, but I don’t think so. Better to know something dangerous than to suspect you at lying.”

Carla looked at me with a dark expression. Then sighed and nodded.

“I don’t know if you will believe me. But the truth is, the Gianfranco Puglisi I worked for is not the Gianfranco Puglisi we met.”

Part 24

“What?! How is that possible?… He has a bodysuit too?”

“Maybe he has, but it likely is not that. You see… I have seen Puglisi many times. There are at least three different ones. Not counting the one we met. All are razor sharp but have different appearances, different mannerisms, speak differently, think differently…”

“Huh?!… Do you mean that several people share his identity? All claim to be him? And in this way can do several things at once, be present at different places at the same time, show up in front of someone who knows one of them and pretend to be someone else…?”

“Which pretty much sums what he could do if he had an unrestricted bodysuit,” Carla smiled.

“How he could be at two places at once with the bodysuit?”

“Easily. If you have enough nanoelements in your bodysiit, you could direct a part of them to separate, take some form and go somewhere and do something while you go elsewhere and do something else… Yes, it undoubtedly can do this too.”

“Gosh… But you say that Puglisi likely doesn’t use a bodysuit. What then…?!”

“What made him, well, Puglisi? Remember what The Boss told us about him?”

“Hmm… He is influential because he is really knowledgeable and smart… You think that there might be an AI behind him?”

“I am absolutely sure about that. No way a human being can learn and process so much information so quickly. Or ten human beings, or even a hundred…”

What we had entangled ourselves in?!

“And this AI is puppeteering people who serve him? Or the opposite, some people use it to predict and arrange what they want?”

“To us, the two are the same.”

“So… You think that our meeting with Puglisi was arranged? That it was not a statistically improbable coincidence?”

“I am sure it was. Puglisi didn’t kill me, but surely kept an eye on me, in case someone who wants to know more about him contacts me. And when the eye reported to him that somehow I go in my room and a man comes out instead, and vice versa at the end of the work week, he surely connected that to the info about the bodysuits. Those who were covering that info went to shops with local enforcement people – there is no way Puglisi would not know about it, he has the needed connections. And likely has some interest in the technology, I don’t know what exactly because I don’t know what he knows already and what not yet… He likely hired actors to play his daughter, the bodyguard and the attacker, paid an ambulance and a police team and so on…”

“Despite that you will know this is not the real him?”

“He knows I know that there is more than one him. No matter who is the real one, and is there at all one that is more real than the others.”

“And was ready to donate to us ten millions like this? To give them to charity just to maintain the impression?”

“Millions are nothing to him. Info about bodysuits might make him uncountable billions, he is smart enough for that. Or maybe even things that cannot be measured in money at all.”

“Gosh… Do you think that those two criminals we met later might be working for him too?”

“Could be… Though there is something I am missing. The guy on performance drugs had blinded me already when I tried to hit him, but I am pretty sure that I caught something that felt like a stone, likely the wall next to me, not the big goon. And I am even more sure that I didn’t managed after that to hit the first guy. What exactly you did to earn me the fame of Mr. Killer Punch? Even the option that triples the strength wouldn’t be enough to deliver blows like those the inspector described.”

I told her what I had done. She looked at me, then started laughing like mad:

“Wonder how the police would react if they knew that these punches came not from the muscular Carlo, but from the sweet and delicate Lexie!”

“That you have a great bodyguard, of course.” I smiled.

“Hey, don’t you think that this would be a bit humiliating for me?” Carla made a face like a frowning princess. God, she was cute and charming even with that expression.

“I don’t care. It’s a problem for you men, you solve it.”

“You women can be really nasty to us!”

We both laughed. Then I hugged her. She smiled happily:

“Let’s leave this banter for after we put the bodysuits on. It will look more realistic then.”

“You think looks will change much? For the others yes, but for us?”

“Maybe. Without the bodysuit, I feel all girl, absolutely. With it, that’s… Like I am still a girl inside it, but some of my values happen to be the same as of most men. There is a bit of that without the bodysuit too, I admit I’m somewhat tomboyish, just with it that bit comes to the front. I haven’t really changed, just can afford to be a part of myself that I always had, but never let it out. Don’t know how it is with you…” She blushed charmingly.

“Me, the bodysuit taught me a lot of things. They are useful to men and women alike. But when in the bodysuit, they somehow come out more easily. Damiano is still catching up with Lexie on them… Luckily he has caught up about how to please a girl.” I tried to make a joke.

“I think I need some more convincing on that.” She blushed even more.

I smiled and lifted her up, holding her in my arms. She shrieked happily and grabbed my neck. I couldn’t help but remembered how we had done exactly the same in the Tech Cafe, just in the opposite roles.

“Being a man is a heaven when he has a girl like you.”

“I would say the same, both as a girl with a man like you and as a man with a girl like you.” She smiled so happily that my heart melted. “And don’t think you have learned everything on how to please a girl. We will have lessons on that the next few days. Which I will also use, to learn how a man can – and should – be pleased…”

* * *

Less than an hour after the lunch, there was a knock on the door of the Boudoir. It was the Boss.

“Dear ladies, the company needs urgent help. Remember that batch of data about the radiowave pollution in Lombardy cities, that we processed a week ago? Turns out, there is a very serious problem with our results.”

Huh? There was nothing special about this processing. We shouldn’t have made a mistake…

“Our results show illogical inconsistencies. For example, the data about the farmlands south of Po show higher pollution than the outskirts of Milan. But there are no emitters beyond some occasional cell towers. Could you please track the things urgently? Our clients, the Lombardy administration, have noticed it and a team of theirs will be there in about an hour.” He nodded and closed the door.

For a couple of seconds, we exchanged puzzled glances. Then Mommy composed herself:

“Lu, check the input data. Vinnie, help her. Grace, look for a pattern in the results inconsistencies, I will join you. Lexie, check the scripts we used… The administration of Lombardy aren’t nice guys, they tried to create problems for us a year ago.”

“And got their noses pushed into the dirt,” Grace noted with obvious pleasure. “The Boss showed real class then.”

“They might be seeking a revenge now, they are that kind of people. Let’s go, girls!”

I examined carefully the script. There was nothing strange in it. Quickly ran it over a small subset of the radio pollution data for Tuscany. Perfectly convincing result, unlike that for Lombardy…

Did Lombardy have input data inconsistencies? I browsed through the columns of numbers. Everything appeared okay…

“Lexie, could you please process a selection of the data? Ten lines from every commune?” That was Grace. “I am halfway through making the selection, will be ready in five minutes.” She was typing so fast that her fingers almost blurred. I remembered the piano in her home – she likely was playing it. And likely was good, maybe a talent.

“Of course!”

In ten minutes, we had the results. The inconsistencies were even bigger. I quickly processed them manually through StatWhiz – not only they were bigger again, but were also different!

“What’s going on?!” Mommy wondered. “Numbers look okay… Let me make a check by hand…” She took an ancient-looking calculator out from a drawer and opened on her desk the selection. “The farms – 314.1216 + 711.4463… Total 3465.8453… Now, Milan – 942.1224 + 1312.69374… 12474.58392!”

“W-w-wait a moment! How is that p-possible? P-processed data show higher pollution for the farms, but manually adding t-them shows four times lower? Like it s-should be?!”

“This appears to me impossible,” I said. “There must be something wrong… Wait a moment!”

I bolted out of the room. Almost entered The Cave without knocking on the door. Calm down! Well-behaved girls don’t do that…

“Hi, Lexie! Did you find something?” cheerfully asked Nicola Petruccio.

“Maybe. May I ask Carlo for help?”

“Sure.” Carlo stood up from his desk, a custom-built by him monster that combined a processing desk with half a dozen other things. “How I can be of use?”

I described the situation to him, while going to our room.

“… So either the software is bad or something happens. Maybe we have a virus?”

“Pretty unlikely, I would have noticed it…” Carlo sat on my chair. “May I look at that selection, please? This file here?…” He opened a console window and started typing there something intelligible. Suddenly the screen was filled with straight columns of digits and letters, which he started examining carefully.

“Hmmm… Huh?! This here is no dot, it’s an Unicode graphic symbol that resembles one, but is not!… And this here is no valid end-of-line either!…” He quickly entered some more commands, then ran my script over the selection. This time the script filled the screen with cryptic messages.

“Now, let’s see the debug output… Yes! The data visually looks like good one, but in reality is not. This fake “dot” is treated as a column separator, and the fractional part becomes a next column. And since the number is a floating point, the fractional part is big for these communes and small for Milan, you get bigger results for the communes than for Milan! And the fake end-of-line prevents catching the problem automatically! Mystery solved!”

“Can it be just a mistake, or someone crafted it deliberately?” Mommy asked darkly.

“It is not really possible to prove it, but I believe it was crafted deliberately.” Carlo almost scowled. “And if they did that deliberately, they will insist that we did the mess.”

“Can we do something to counteract that?” Lu asked.

Carlo thought for a couple of minutes. Then got up from the chair:

“Give me some time.”

“Why they should do that?” I asked when Carlo closed the door behind him.

“There are such people,” Mommy sighed. “Some will have some agenda, for example to give the contract to someone connected to them. That is what The Boss caught them with before. Some will do it just out of nastiness. If the people who will come are the same people as a year ago, I would suspect an attempt for a revenge.”

“Revenge? For catching them with a corruption attempt? But this is… medieval!” How could important officials be so petty?!

“Welcome to Italy, Lexie.” Grace smiled bitterly. “The most civilized people in the world, the Renaissance, the art of the world, the operas, Ancient Rome, science, space technologies, beautiful songs… But also, the Borgia, Machiavelli, Mussolini… We can be just as nasty as every other people.”

Our talk was interrupted by Fabricia:

“Ladies, the people from Lombardy Directorate are here. Did you find something?”

“Yes, but didn’t find yet how to manage the situation,” Mommy replied. “Now all the hope is on Carlo.”

“He will think of something,” Fabricia nodded. “I am sure. A man like him will find a way out of anything.”

All women smiled and brightened. Me too. To be honest, I felt a tiny pang of jealousy. But Fabricia was right – Carla would find a way out of anything, despite not really being a man. She was more of a man than the men. More trustworthy, nice, kind, smart, decent and everything else…

Maybe we just perceived this as “the truest man” because she appeared to be a man with the bodysuit? Like they perceived me to be an incredibly nice girl for me just trying to be a decent man, only due to the appearance of the bodysuit?

“Well, can we do something to stall them?”

The faces around me visibly sunk. There was nothing we could do about it.

But the excuses are for women. Real men go and do, whatever it takes.

“May I come to the meeting, Fabricia?”

“Actually, this is what The Boss asked for.”

“He hopes that her looks will distract them?” Lu smiled.

“Of course. What else is are looks for?” Fabricia smiled too.

Seconds later, I was walking towards the office of The Boss. Tasked with distracting a bunch of nasty people by being a beautiful girl…

By looking like a beautiful girl, I corrected myself and entered the room of The Boss.

* * *

The visitors were three – two women, one about fifty, the other and the man about thirty. I gave them what I hoped to be an attractive smile. One that makes men drool and women go green with envy. At least try and throw them off balance a bit, give Carlo some time to think of something.

“Did you find something, Miss Manzoni?” The Boss asked.

“Yes. The input data appear to be bad.”

“I see,” smiled coldly the older woman. “You have bungled the work and are trying to blame it on us?”

Black-and-white skirt suit, stylish costly heels and necklace, reserved make-up, uptight look – she had done everything to show that she is the boss. But that didn’t help her to present as a woman. Could I beat her at it?

I smiled to her even more sweetly. Judging by the look she shot me back, she was going green on the inside. Good!

“With all due respect, Madame, we process the data for all provinces in the same way.” I explained. “And only that for Lombardy produces unexpected results, because only it is bad.”

“We also supply our data to different users in the same way, and only you have any problems with it.”

The woman composed herself. “I am afraid that it is our word against yours, and we are the customer.”

“With all due respect, the customer is the Lombardy Directorate,” The Boss intervened politely. “To the best of my knowledge, you are its information department. Not the same level of responsibility.”

“Whom do you think the Director would believe?” she cut him off. “Stop trying to wriggle out, Mr. Montafun. Admit your mistake and we might still consider using your services.”

“Again, with all due respect, I think that the Director would believe the truth,” I replied. “Wouldn’t it be diligent to try and determine where exactly the error occurred—”

“We have already determined this,” the man interrupted me. “Who do you think you are, to try to blame us? Looks are not everything, dear girl.”

“With all due respect, Mr. Santana, Ms. Manzoni is not just good looks—”

“Oh, come on, Mr. Montafun! None of us is an idiot. We are perfectly well aware why a man your age employs trophy girls. And if they are good at statistics… or at something else.” the man smiled sarcastically.

I felt my blood boiling.

“Are you making some assumptions about me, Mr. Santana?”

He grinned in an even more sinister way.

“I am right, am I not?”

It took me an effort to not jump and knock his teeth out. The grimaces on the faces of his colleagues helped a bit.

“I am afraid you aren’t, Mr. Santana,” The Boss replied with a slightly colder voice. “Ms. Manzoni is a brilliant statistician. And I would never dare to call her a trophy girl. You see, she is recommended by people better at evaluating one’s abilities than me.”

Santana laughed:

“For example?”

“Well, I recently was advised to treat her really, really well by an investment banker called Gianfranco Puglisi. Turns out, she saved his daughter from being mugged and raped, and he feels indebted to her…”

The faces of all the three visitors instantly lost some color and they started exchanging glances. Santana, who had opened his mouth to say something, just closed it. I smiled sweetly at him too:

“So, tell me, please, what software you exported this data from? And how did you vet the export?”

“This is a part of the procedures in our department. Due to security considerations, we cannot discuss them,” the third woman replied.

“Security considerations? What, please?” The Boss asked nonchalantly. “Knowing that would help us observe the needed security too, given that we by necessity have full access to this data.”

Before she could answer anything, there was a knock on the door and Carlo entered the room.

“Please meet our IT expert Carlo Gatti,” said The Boss. “Did you find something, Mr. Gatti?”

“Yes, Mr. Montafun. The Directorate storage that we downloaded the data from still keeps it. I compared it with the one we processed – they are the same. The problem with the data must have happened before they made it available to us. I also called DigiNotary and had them expressly notarize the fact, just for the case.”

The face of the woman that talked about security went white as a chalk. The other two visibly lost even more of their comfort.

“Madame Cattaneo, I am glad that we were able to pinpoint the source of the problem,” The Boss said. “Without your kind help, this would not be possible. So, I suggest to fix the input data, so that we might deliver our results in time.”

“Strange,” the older woman replied. “This software never created such problems before. I will see when we will be able to fix the data—”

“Actually I can work around it,” Carlo interjected. “The problems with the data are repetitive, and confined to the data formatting. While waiting for the notarization confirmation, I wrote a translator that fixes them and ran it. So, we already have good input data and can start processing it right now. I think we will be able to deliver the results before the end of the day.”

“Hm. Well, I believe then that this meeting is over,” the woman said.

“Just a moment, please,” I added. “Mr. Santana, do you still assume such things about me?”

He glared at me but didn’t dare to reply.

“Madame Cattaneo, I believe you are his boss? What do you think of your employee insulting women like that? I was left with the impression that you tolerate it.”

“Oh, I don’t! I was considering reprimanding him—”

“Nice to hear this. If you do, I will consider not suing him…”

Only after the trio was out of the room, I calmed down enough to realize that I had threatened with legal action a man in the office of my boss.

“Mr. Montafun, I want to sincerely apologize about my outburst. Should any problems arise out of it, I will accept the full responsibility.”

“Oh, I am sure that if they just peep about it, the media will love to learn what happened,” The Boss smiled. “Imagine the caption – ‘A girl beats some sense into a bureaucrat who nastily insults her because of her beauty’… I also got the impression that his colleagues were not happy with his behavior too. And if this story reaches Puglisi, which is rather possible, that idiot will likely regret being born… Now, let’s go back to work.”

Part 25

“L-l-lexie… M-m-m-may I ask you s-s-something? J-j-just b-b-between u-us?”

“Of course.” When the other women had gone out of the room for lunch, I had remained behind, wanting to put the last touches on a script and have it run during the lunch break. Vinnie had too.

“I-i-i-i-it is a-a-a-about t-t-to… Oh… A-a-a-about h-h-how t-t-to b-be m-m-more s-s-succces-s-sful w-with m-m-m-m-men…” Vinnie was redder than a tomato.

Of all the world – well, of half of it – she had to ask exactly me!… What I could tell her?! I had not a shred of clue how to woo a man! Carlo didn’t count, for a very good reason…

But maybe I was exactly the best person to tell her that! Was there a woman in the world that would know better than a man what attracts men? And what man Vinnie would dare to ask about that, and believe his response?

“I think you are just a bit too shy, Vinnie. All you need is…” I remembered the talks between the women about me and Carlo. “To signal to the man that you like his presence. Help him with something. Or ask for his help with something. This is a great start.”

“He w-w-will n-n-not p-pay a-a-any at-t-tention t-t-to m-m-me!”

“Of course he will. You are smart and nice, beautiful, wonderful person. If you don’t shy away from men, every man would love to be with you.”

“I-I-I a-am not b-beautiful! L-look at my leg!”

“So what? Remember, I told you about that girl without a leg at all, with a prosthesis, that visited the hut where my father works? And all boys who adored her?”

“B-b-but my l-l-leg is r-r-r-really u-u-ugly!” Tears streaked the face of Vinnie. “You d-d-don’t know how m-m-much!”

“Really? Would you dare to show it to me?… Don’t be ashamed, we are all girls here…”

“P-p-promise n-not t-t-t-to t-tell a-a-a-anyone?”

“Promise. You know I keep my word.”

Vinnie blinked several times, trying to overcome herself. Then carefully lifted her skirt.

Her legs were not just good – they were really beautiful. The left one was slightly bent, so little that one could easily overlook it.

“Vinnie, is THAT what you call a bad leg?! If you hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t notice it is different! Most girls would kill for a pair of legs as beautiful as yours!”

“What?!… This c-c-c-can’t be!… Lexie, why you a-a-are s-saying that?!”

“This is the truth, Vinnie. I swear in everything dear to me.”

“T-this c-c-can’t be!… S-swear in your b-beauty!”

“I do. I solemnly swear in my beauty. And if this is not enough, in the masculinity of Carlo too. If I was a man, I would be happy and proud to be with a girl with such beautiful legs. Both of them.”

Vinnie stood like paralyzed, blinking and opening and closing her mouth under the torrent of emotions. Some time passed before she could calm herself.

“I-I-I d-don’t b-b-believe you.”

“Didn’t I swear in it?”

“You d-d-did, but… How c-can you know what m-m-men think?! I-if anyone d-doesn’t have a s-single bit of m-man in them, t-that is you.”

“Oh, umm, everyone has a bit of both sexes. So, the scientists say—”

“N-n-not you. You s-speak, move, even t-think more f-feminine than e-e-every woman I have s-seen. E-e-especially a-after you g-got C-c-carlo. H-h-how you c-can k-k-k-know what m-m-men t-think?!”

Did I really think like a woman? Especially after starting to live with Carlo?

Was having sex as a woman with him changing me? Or… just living next to him?

Don’t think of it now. Calm down her first, think later of yourself. Be a real man.

“Vinnie, I grew up among men. My father and his colleagues. I have never had a woman close to me… Umm, when I was younger, I even dreamed of becoming a boy somehow… I have listened to them talking about women thousands of times. Umm, the mountain hut is small, they were thinking I am sleeping and don’t hear them, but I did… So, I know what men value in women perfectly well. As well as if I was a man myself. I have heard it so many times that there is no other way.”

“R-r-really?”

“Haven’t I told my story?… You just need to try. To not be afraid. To be your real self, proudly, without any shame. You are great. Your legs are beautiful. You are like a sunshine. No man would be able to resist your charm. You deserve better than hiding and being ashamed. Be your true self!”

“My t-t-true self? D-do you even k-k-know what m-my t-true self is?!”

“Say it. Let’s see if I will be scared or revolted.”

Vinnie looked at me with huge eyes. Swallowed several times – obviously it was hard for her to speak about that. Finally spoke:

“I-I-I l-l-like… C-c-c-computer g-g-g-g-games…”

“What’s the wrong with that?!”

“I-i-it’s not for g-g-g-girls…”

“What?! Vinnie, you can’t be serious! Of course it is for girls!… Less than a week ago, Carlo and I played a computer game an entire evening! I loved it, even more than him! And Carlo loved that I play with him!”

What upbringing must have had Vinnie to think that computer games are only for boys?! Some unbelievably conservative parents? Total old-timers? From a small village under a rock somewhere, living with views from 100 years ago?

Whatever it was, it had to end. Now. For her sake.

“You p-play c-c-computer g-games?!”

“Of course I do? Why shouldn’t I?”

“B-b-but t-they a-a-are not—”

“Are you trying to say that I am not a girl?”

“No, no!!!… But… I-it is n-n-normal for C-carlo to p-p-play that, he is a m-m-man… But if you p-played that too… T-tell me honestly, d-d-did you l-liked it?”

“I loved it! I plan to do it again this week! If that makes you not a girl, then I am not a girl too!”

“I c-can’t believe it… Of all p-people, Lexie is into c-computer g-g-games too!…”

“Yes. It is absolutely okay for you to be.”

“T-t-thank you, Lexie! Thank you!” Tears streaked the face of Vinnie.

“For nothing. I just told you the truth, nothing else.”

And I was not lying. It didn’t matter at all that the girl who is into computer games is Carla, not Lexie. There was a girl who is into them, and she was really beautiful, feminine, charming and deserving the best man, it was the truth. Vinnie could be such a girl too, if she just came out of her shell. And she deserved it.

But… What she told me… Was I already thinking like a woman indeed?

Maybe yes. For the last few days, I never had to ask myself what the women meant or how they were thinking. I just knew it, exactly like a woman would. And I was able to read men exactly like a woman would.

Was I losing being Damiano? During the weekends, while out of the damned bodysuit, certainly not. I understood the women better than before, but didn’t have a shred of doubt that I am male and liked it. However, while being Lexie, I… I was Lexie. Not exactly Damiano. Sure, all of him, but also more. What Lexie was. And that addition unobtrusively was somehow taking a precedence.

While out of the bodysuit, the idea of being Lexie for life would feel scary to me, to say the least. I would be freaked by it. Now, it was not exactly desired too, but appeared somehow less scary. If I had lost the remote and had to remain Lexie, I would not be happy, but could accept it and live this way for the rest of my life.

Well, if Carlo was with me. I preferred being Damiano and living with Carla, but being Lexie and living with Carlo could be a happy life too. A very different one, but still one worth living.

* * *

“—But I am a bit scared, to confess, of losing myself. Well, of losing being a man.”

“Why you are so scared of emasculation?” Carlo noted. “Sure, nobody likes their sex changed, but you make a tragedy out of it. Most women would not take it easy too, but will not be dying. And they would lose more than you.”

“Yep, tons of discrimination. What a loss!”

“What about losing the ability to conceive and carry a child? That is more important than doing dumb things to show how macho you are, methinks.”

“Well, that is how women prove their value. How I would feel if I had to be a woman, but couldn’t do it?”

“Oh, the bodysuits can help you grok it. Did you read the part ‘Expected Improvements’ in the manual?”

“What is the use of it? We can’t access even the present improvements.”

“Good then that I read yours too. One of the abilities they said they planned to offer for your bodysuit was to conceive and carry a child.”

“That could be convenient. Imagine a family where the mother cannot do it for whatever reason—” I suddenly stopped.

I had imagined the possibility that Carla cannot conceive, and myself becoming Lexie to carry our child. And had the warm and very clear feeling that I would enjoy it.

What the hell happened with me?! Was I scared for a good reason?

Was I… what was the name for this kind of people? Trans?…

“Lexie, what is up?”

I gulped.

“Nothing. With Lexie. With Damiano – everything… I wonder if I am actually trans.”

Carlo frowned.

“Well, to be honest, I am worried about myself too. I thought about this more than once. And I read more than a little… But I think we are not that. Neither you, nor me.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Imagine having periods. The bloody, slimy and smelly flow, the pains, the emotional rollercoaster—”

“Ewwww!”

“Wait, I haven’t even started yet! Imagine having also to often battle yeast infections down there and the flows that they bring – also smelling bad, itching, painful, hard to get rid of, coming every time you need to take an antibiotic. Always worrying that you might get pregnant when you can’t afford it. Having to shave your legs, arms, body here and there, maybe face too, not every day, but still. Staying constantly on a diet, feeling weak from hunger, to lose some weight, and failing. Trying tons of cosmetics to maintain your skin anywhere near good. Having to buy special shampoos for outlandish amount of money to keep your hair from thinning and being greasy or dry. Having to wash it every day, brush it a lot to have it neat, style it, color it. To pluck your brows. To wear nastily inconvenient clothes to hide the imperfections of your body. Being as plain as the average woman, having to always wear makeup to look anywhere near acceptable. Being physically weak, afraid to go alone when it is dark, or through an unknown neighborhood even during the day, or you risk being raped. Having your reproductive clock run out before forty, if you don’t have children until then, that’s it, unless you would pay tons of money for IVF. Having to find a husband who will not drink, beat you, gamble every penny away, abandon you alone with the children. Having to care for these children in addition to working, and this care is 24/7. Worrying about cancers on the female reproductive system, those are the most frequent…”

“Gosh…”

“That is what a real woman’s life is. Transwomen – that is, those who are born male but feel to be women – would love that. Would do anything to have it. Some of them would die if they cannot have it… Would you?”

“More like I would die if I have to have it… Is that how trans people feel when they are themselves? That is, the way they are born? These who are born women but feel like men?”

“Yes… What makes being Lexie bearable to you is that she is inhumanly perfect physically. No periods, body hair, undesired pregnancies, need for makeup and everything else – she has none of the female disadvantages, only the advantages, and them to a degree no real woman has. Even the orgasms you have as Lexie are better than mine! And on top of all that she has the physical strength of a male, is practically invulnerable and so on! Is it strange that it is bearable to be superhuman in almost everything, even if you have to be of the other sex?”

“Ummm—”

“Same with me. I don’t have any desire to be a man, apart from avoiding discrimination. All these smelly socks, stinky sweat, body hair, brain constantly addled by testosterone, uncontrollable sexual drive. Constant need to prove yourself to everyone. Your slightest whims never forgiven by the others. Less risk to be raped on the street, but much more to be beaten viciously, even killed. Being expected to always shoulder the hard work, take the risk, sacrifice yourself. Hundreds of other things that feel unnatural and scary… No, thanks. I am not that, I am a girl and like it. I tolerate the bodysuit because it makes me superhuman. All the male privileges one can think of. As strong as the strongest men, and invulnerable in addition. Appearance like women’s wet dream. No periods, the bodysuit takes perfect care of these. No yeast and similar infections, no unwanted pregnancies, being completely in control during sex… Not the true me, but heck, one can live like that and even like it! Don’t you think so?”

“Hmm… So you think we are not trans?”

“I am certain about it. Imagine your bodysuit could do all that mine does, and was male. Like Carlo, perfect in everything. Would you want to ever take it off? If mine could make me be a Lexie, I likely wouldn’t. Now I don’t feel like this. Do you?”

“Definitely not… But…” I felt blushing. “I get the feeling that I sometimes like being Lexie for a while. Kinda sorta taking a vacation from being Damiano… So yes, you are right, but maybe there is something beyond that. I don’t know if you feel like this.”

Carlo thought for a moment.

“You have a point, I do. Even the male privileges aside, sometimes being Carlo for a while feels… Liberating. Like if being a girl is okay, it is me, but sometimes becomes a bit too much. And then I can escape it for a while by putting on the bodysuit, becoming the superhuman Carlo instead… In this, maybe we are just the tiniest bit trans. Like everyone, I guess – who wouldn’t enjoy that?”

“Yes, you described it really well. Escaping from the mundane oneself and becoming temporarily a superhuman for a change. Like those superheroes in the movies. Many of them have an identity that is an ordinary human and live as it, and only put the mask and the spandex when they need to.”

Carlo looked at me and nodded. Then smiled:

“There is a scientific question that I start asking myself. Do superhumans have super-sex?” He laughed. I joined him, not caring that it came out as giggling:

“I believe that this can only be solved through experiments. Made enough times, to minimize the standard deviation…”

* * *

While changing into work uniform, I was looking through the small window. The ordinary Milan landscape. People down on the street, looking like ants from the fourteenth floor. Everyone leading their ordinary life.

Me too. Except that my life had become anything but ordinary.

If I knew where this bodysuit would take me, I would have never dared to put it on, for all the money in the world. I would likely prefer prison to it.

But after going through all of this, I was grateful. I had learned so much that I had missed. And more, which most people never learned. And had found someone to love. The sweetest, kindest, smartest girl ever.

And the most beautiful to my eyes, despite that to other people she would likely be plain, if not outright strange. Some people would likely laugh at me for this. If they only knew that I loved her also when she was looking like the manliest man ever, and behaving the part too!

When I was Lexie, I loved being with Carlo. But I would also love being with him when I was Damiano too. We wouldn’t do sex, but we still would love one another. Be the greatest friends ever… And when she was Carla, I loved her not only when I was Damiano. I would love her when I was Lexie too. Doing a girl-on-girl sex would be a bit confusing to me, but… well, if she really would go for it, I wouldn’t shy away too…

Suddenly I heard Mommy behind me:

“Hi Vin… Huh?!”

I quickly turned back. Vinnie, a bit late, was just closing the door behind her.

She was wearing shorts. Both her legs were seen from hip to toe.

And only the barely noticeable limping reminded me to look and see that her left leg was slightly bent. One would easily overlook it or attribute it to her pose.

She blushed and tried to smile. The other women were looking at her stupefied, at loss of words.

I had to intervene quickly.

“Hi Vinnie! You look stunning today! Beautiful like never before!”

“R-r-r-really?”

The other women suddenly exploded into chatter:

“Absolutely! If I had only imagined you will look so good in shorts!”

“My, Vinnie, you are a beauty! How did you fixed your leg?!”

“F-fixed?! I d-didn’t! I-i-it is the s-same like always!”

“Why then you said it is bad and ugly?! Was that some joke that was lost on us, or…?”

“Which one did you say is the bad one?”

“T-the l-left… You r-really think it’s n-not bad?”

“If I was not told you have a bad leg, I would never notice anything wrong with it!”

“Me too. If only my legs were that ‘bad’!”

“Vinnie, tell me please, who told you that your leg is bad and ugly?! And how’s that you believed them?!”

“I-I-I d-d-don’t r-remember… B-but I always knew i-it’s ugly…”

“It is not!”

“What a nonsense! How could you believe it?!”

“Of course it is not! Vinnie, your legs will pop out the eyes of every man!”

Vinnie looked at us and two tears rolled down on her face.

“T-thank you… I k-k-know it is not t-true, but thank you…”

“It is true! Absolutely!”

“Vinnie, how’s that you cannot see how beautiful are your legs?!”

“It is really true. You will see how men will look at you.”

“I-I saw they are l-l-looking while c-coming. But i-isn’t that because they are u-u-ugly?”

“How did the men look at you? With disgust or the way they look at Lexie?”

I felt myself blushing. Which, thinking of it, was really strange. Two months ago, I would be enraged by men ogling me…

Vinnie blinked several times. Then suddenly smiled:

“W-whatever it is, I-I-I came like t-this.”

“Wanna hear what the men think about your legs when we get into the room?”

“U-u-uhh… Y-y-yes…”

After getting into The Boudoir, Lu waited for several minutes. Then quickly assembled her eavesdropping device and put it on the wall.”

“—noticed her coming? I never thought she has so nice legs.” That was the voice of Tony.

“She always wore long dresses and skirts before. Never jeans or any other pants, and definitely never shorts. Now I can’t understand why.” I could easily distinguish the surprise in the voice of Filippo.

“Maybe she needed time to overcome something.” That was Nicola Petruccio. “And I am glad she did. I never guessed before that her legs look so good.”

“Yes, definitely good legs. What you think, Gab?”

“Whose legs?”

“Vinnie’s, you gamehead! Didn’t you noticed her coming to work in shorts?”

“No…”

“You are going to die a virgin. Probably not even realizing it.”

“Tony, you aren’t married either, why do you laugh at me? And haven’t you seen how beautiful is Helga from ‘Viking’s Raid’? Or Zaina from ‘Desert Conquest’?”

“I can marry whenever I want. And you will be sleeping with these Helga and Zaina, while great legs walk around you and you don’t notice them…”

Lu smiled and put the stethoscope back in the drawer.

“Well, Vinnie, are the men revolted by your legs?”

Vinnie just stood for some time. Then blinked a few times. Finally sighed:

“I c-c-can’t believe it yet. M-m-maybe I need s-s-some t-time…”

“Take it. You have the right to.”

Part 26

The elevator quietly chimed and started up. Filippo politely watched the floor indicator. Gab just stood, thinking about something. I silently cursed myself for overstuffing with the omelet, then wondered if Gab will try and look at Vinnie who was standing right next to him. Sure, the long skirt of her uniform covered her legs completely, but a man would always try to steal a glance after such a talk. To be honest, I did several times while nobody watched me.

“Um, G-g-gab? M-m-m-may I a-a-ask for s-s-something?”

“Huh… Yeah, sure.”

“I… I p-p-plan b-b-bying a g-g-game c-computer. C-c-could you a-a-advise me w-w-what to b-buy?”

The brows of Gab went up for an eyeblink. Probably this was the first time someone was asking him about that.

“Sure.” Gab’s brow wrinkled and he started flexing one after another the fingers of his right hand, his lips moving silently.

The elevator stopped on our floor and the doors opened. Outside Gab stopped next to the women who were looking at some fashion magazine, left on Fabricia’s desk:

“For a good gaming core, you would need something with a MultiG-CPU with a liquid cooler, at least 8 T of WSRAM, a separate VR enhancer with its own XR Peltier cooler, and at least a dozen of T of WSSRAM- or NSRAM-based storage, more if you plan to play more than a couple of games. Amazon’s Mecha helmet and sensors were the rage a couple years ago, but now the Srivastava X-Set is better and cheaper too, I would suggest it. Oh, and you will need at least 10G low-latency Net, or the modern multiplayers will lag on dynamic scenes.”

“Uh… I-I-I c-c-couldn’t r-remember all t-t-this. C-c-can you h-h-help me f-f-find and b-buy all t-t-that?”

“Sure. The Srivastava drivers are still very new, you will need the latest update and it is a bit tricky to install, I will help with this too. And you will want the latest TitanimOS update, it has a faster renderer, even the most dynamic scenes go smooth with a good helmet… When do you plan to buy it?”

“W-w-when y-you w-will h-h-have the t-t-time?”

“Whenever you want. I have nothing to do after work but to play games.”

Gab went to The Cave. Leaving Vinnie and me right next to the other women.

After we entered our room, Mommy sighed:

“Vinnie… Why exactly Gab? I don’t think he is a boyfriend material.”

“Not even speaking of husband material,” Lu added. “He does not live in this world. You can’t rely on him for anything.”

“Definitely not appropriate,” Grace joined them. “With him, you will have one more child to care for, instead of a husband who will care for you.”

“I think the same,” I voiced my doubts. “Gab is too involved in gaming to be a good support in life. I don’t believe he will be what you need.”

The face of Vinnie paled and she rose up from the chair:

“Because he is into gaming? Well, I am into gaming too! Am I not a wife material?”

I was stunned by the strength of her reaction. The other women were too. Only Mommy tried to insist:

“Vinnie, imagine what will be when the children come. You will be working and caring for them, and he will be just playing games all day. What is the use of having such a husband—” She broke off under the glare of Vinnie.

Vinnie looked at each of us in turn, as if daring us to say something. Then slowly said:

“You think that a woman must see and value men as husbands only, and expect to be supported by them. As if she does not have a value of her own and should not believe in herself… I was like this too, until yesterday. But will never be anymore.”

There was a complete silence in the room. Vinnie again looked at each of us in turn. Then continued:

“You are thinking that you aren’t human like men. That you are just hens, whose sole value is in warming the nest and raising the chicks. Even you, Lexie! You at least could be different, with your pretensions that you know how the men think. But you are exactly like the rest of you, incapable of thinking like a man… like a human! Thinking ‘like a woman’ starts looking like a mental damage to me!… I refuse to be that. I will be what I really am, will believe in myself and will do what I like!”

She sat down and started typing in a script, without paying any attention to us. We exchanged a few astonished glances over her head. Finally, Mommy nodded to us: let’s work.

I quietly sat down and fixed my eyes on the screen, but my thoughts were elsewhere.

I couldn’t blame Vinnie or be angry at her at all. She probably had kept all that bottled inside, and it had eaten at her for all of her life. Now, not feeling ugly and valueless anymore, she had dared to let it out, and it came out with an explosion. She had needed that, and it was good that she did it.

And we needed that lesson, too. To start thinking not like women, seeing their value only in the children they can produce, but like humans.

But… was she right that I’m thinking as a woman?… Sure, for myself I would never think like that, I was a man. But I had thought that this is indeed the most important for a woman. Not realizing how nastily I discriminate against them. Confining them in my imagination to being… hens. Not free and proud humans like the men.

I had again proven to be full of prejudices. And very much deserving to be a Lexie.

But I had also proven able to learn and see my mistakes. So, I was not really so bad.

Maybe I deserved to be Lexie five days in a week. That looked about just.

And… wait, how’s that Vinnie’s stutter disappeared? Likely it was caused by her shyness too…

* * *

“Okay, I am ready. Ring!”

Both mine and Carla’s hands were busy with groceries, so I pressed the doorbell with my nose. Half a minute passed before Aunt Lauretta opened the door:

“Oh! I am so glad to see you, dears! Back from shopping? Will you come for a minute, just for a tea?”

“Of course, Aunt Lauretta. And not only for a minute and a tea.”

“Really? Be very welcome!”

When we started unloading the groceries on the small table in her kitchen, she was baffled. And when we took the big birthday cake out of the bag, her eyes went huge:

“Is… is this for me?… God… Dear children, you are… you are…” She broke crying.

“Yes, Aunt Lauretta,” Carla stated. “It is all for you. And you more than deserve it. Since when you haven’t celebrated a birthday properly?”

“Since… since I retired… Fifteen years already… Before that, I did it for my colleagues…”

“Well, you will do it now for us and with us.” Carla took out a big pack of candles. “How many to put on the cake? You are about forty, I see?”

“God bless you, dear… Put one, it is enough—”

“We have bought them already, will not be returning them. How many?”

“Seventy-seven.“ Sniff… “That is how old I become today”

“Wow, I would never believe it,” I added. “I thought you retired early.”

Aunt Lauretta smiled through her tears:

“You have always been so polite, Damiano. And so smart. Carla, if I was your age, I would try and steal him!”

We all laughed.

“Now, this is for the feast. And we want to give you a small present for your birthday.” Carla handled her an envelope.

“No! You already did so much for me! I am not taking money from you!”

“This is not money.”

Aunt Lauretta looked at us and opened the envelope. Took the voucher for the dentures out of it, grabbed her glasses from the table and put them on.

“This is… Oh, God!… What?! A thousand and three hundred Euro?! That is my pension for two months! I cannot take this!”

“We already bought it, Aunt Lauretta,” Carla said firmly. “From a company I worked for before, so we paid much less. Do not worry.”

“And half of it paid for by Lexie and Carlo,” I added. “The couple I lease my apartment to for the workdays. So the price was shared between four people, all of them with excellent salaries. You don’t have to be self-conscious at all.”

Aunt Lauretta stood and looked at us for some time without saying a word. Then her tears started flowing again.

“God… You are so nice. So much more than I deserve…” Some time passed before she could calm down.

“You deserve all that and much more, Aunt Lauretta,” Carla said firmly. “You just didn’t receive it from life, and that was not just. We do the little we can to fix that.”

Aunt Lauretta was again quiet for some time. Then looked at us:

“You know… Until a month ago, I was telling myself that I have lived long enough, and there is no sense in just existing anymore. Leading an empty life, with nobody around to connect with. Like a zombie that still walks around, but is already dead… Then I met Lexie and was amazed how nice, caring and polite she was. Then met Carlo, who was as kind and warm to me as her. Then you both, who are so much like them… This made me want to still live. That the world is full with incredible, nice, beautiful young people. Such a world is worth living in.”

“I wish I was beautiful,” Carla sighed. “But I am not like Lexie, you can’t deny it.”

“This is precisely what makes you a great girl, dear. It is easy for a beauty like Lexie to be nice, everyone is kind to her, she actually does not know the real world. You know it and are nice despite that – you are even more beautiful on the inside than her. Damiano, please, who is more beautiful to you – Lexie or Carla?”

“Absolutely Carla,” I replied without a bit of hesitation, happy that I can say the truth. “She is to me all the beauty on the world… And I am sure I will not fall in love with Lexie. Would not even if she had no boyfriend. I swear to it.”

“You see, dear? With the time your appearance will fade, but for the others only. Damiano is the type of man that will not abandon you for a younger girl, trust me to be able to tell it. Even if you are as old and wrinkled as me, for him you will still be the most beautiful woman in the world. Exactly like he will be the strongest man ever to you, even if he has to walk with a cane and getting up from the chair is a struggle for him. Old gossips might not be liked, but they have seen a lot and can tell such things.”

Carla looked at her, then nodded:

“Thank you, Aunt Lauretta.”

“And you will continue to make the world better. You surely have always been nice and kind, but probably learned something on that from Lexie and Carlo. It is very easy for them to show it. And others will learn from you and teach yet others in turn. I am one of those… When I am long gone, remember this and know – a lot of the kindness around was created by you, it exists because you sowed it, and you will be reaping it as reward.”

Part 27

“Did something happened to Vinnie?” Grace asked on entering the room. “She has always been here before me.”

“Indeed!” Mommy almost jumped. “She is always among the first here… Anyone to know something?…” She opened the door of the room. “Fabricia, do you know if Vinnie has called sick?”

“She hasn’t… Wait, the elevator!”

From my place I heard the door of the elevator opening, and then the voice of Vinnie:

“Hi Fabricia, s-sorry for us being late!”

“Did something delayed you?” Mommy smiled.

“Well, I invited Gab yesterday to help me install the drivers for my new gaming station.” Vinnie showed at the door, looking defiantly at us. I could see Gab passing behind her. “It took longer than we expected, and we overslept and couldn’t get up in time.”

Mommy waited for her to close the door, then looked at her with a slight smirk:

“In my time, we called this type of gaming station ‘bed’.”

“I guess that it not only took more time, but also was more pleasant than expected,” Grace added.

“How many times did Gab install the main driver?” asked Lu. “And was it big enough to be worth installing?”

I felt myself blushing furiously. Despite hearing so many women-only talks, I still hadn’t got used to how freely the women discuss sex-related things away from men.

Vinnie took deep breath and glared at us so angrily that the chatter died instantly:

“I told you already, you are just hens. You will never understand that there is more in life than sex and family. Well, I do understand it! And I am glad and proud to have a man who understands it too!”

“Vinnie, every generation thinks like that while they are younger,” sadly smiled Mommy. “But they grow up, the biological clocks don’t wait, men turn out to be just men, children take a lot of the time… And the rebel girls one by one understand that being a woman is being a woman. With all of its burdens and inevitable things. You will see that you either are a woman or are not one. Call it a prison of flesh or whatever you like, that is what being a woman is.”

How right she was!

Being a woman was indeed that. Being imprisoned in a weak and delicate body, with reproductive ability stopping before you get to the middle of your life, responsible for children, for creating a family, always underestimated, always discriminated against… A prison of flesh indeed.

In my case – of a bodysuit. Which I, unlike them, could take off whenever I wanted.

And they deserved better than that. Every one of them…

“Umm… Vinnie is right.”

“It is easy to you to say it, looking like a dream,” replied Grace bitterly. “But even you will find it out. Sorry, Lexie, the life for a woman is that. I wish it wasn’t, but it is.”

And I could understand her too. Dedicated her life to care for her disabled child. But…

“Yes, this might be true. Women have a lot of responsibilities. Like the really decent men do, too. It is just harder for women to sneak out of these responsibilities than for men. Or maybe women are more responsible than men… But women can have dreams too. Can afford to sometimes live for what is their passion, joy and happiness. Looking not to ensnare men, but to just be happy with them. Much like some men look not to just use women for sex, but to be happy with them and make them happy too… And going after our dreams is what makes us real women, even more than the family and the children. Exactly like it makes men real men. Makes humans real humans… I say – go for it, Vinnie! This is your life to live, not mine or anyone else’s. You might decide to go for a family with children or something else – it is up to you. At a direction and pace only you choose.”

The women didn’t look completely convinced by this speech. I was not, too. But Vinnie deserved support. I had to give it to her. I was the only person in this room who knew what men really want. And I was amazed how similar to the women they are – with different prejudices and values, but yet so often ready to abandon their unique dreams for a success, career or other things… Vinnie deserved better.

The room was quiet during the rest of the day, too. There was no tension in the air, it was more like no one had made up their mind and was ready to say something and defend some position… That was why I was initially surprised when, after we left the changing room, while waiting for the elevator, Vinnie turned to me:

“T-thanks for the nice words, Lexie.”

“For nothing. I really think all this.”

“P-please accept my apologies. I was wrong t-to offend you yesterday. I was a-a-angry and…” Her voice trailed.

“Forgiven and forgotten. You were right to be angry, and deserved the right to vent it out. It is okay.”

“R-really?… You are u-u-unique, Lexie. Really.”

“No, Vinnie. I am a very ordinary person, exactly like you.”

“I-it was you who encouraged me to be my r-real self. T-to not be afraid… Thank you for this. With all of my heart… And I want to a-a-ask you for s-something.”

“Of course. Just name it.”

“T-there is a neighbor of mine. A g-girl about 30. We are g-good friends… She lost recently her mother, and is very shy and sad. Finds the life very hard. C-could you help her somehow? P-please!”

“Of course.” How could I refuse Vinnie?

“Are you f-free now? Yes? P-please come with me, I will meet you…”

* * *

The living room of Giorgia’s place had furniture made of massive dark wood and a huge library along two of the walls. The contrast with its slim, pale and melancholic owner was complete.

“Mom divorced Dad when I was seven,” she was telling me over the small glasses of wine she had served. “Said to me later that he drank too much and she finally had her patience exhausted. She had managed to convince the court somehow that he should not be given the right to see me. When I turned 18, I learned that he soon after the divorce had several times stood somewhere near my school and waited for Mom and me to pass, to have a look at me. So she got a court restraining order against him, forbade him to come to Milan at all… I don’t know if he was that dangerous when drunk, don’t remember seeing him drunk.”

“Sounds strange to me. If he really drank too much, you should have seen him drunk many times for seven years,” I noted.

“He worked somewhere far away, I don’t know what he did exactly, maybe in another city or the like. So, I only saw him about once per month, for a day or two. He would smile at me and lift me in the air, and hug me and be so happy that I am with him. As I was happy that I he is with me… I don’t know. Maybe he didn’t drink during these days, but drank during other times.”

“Was your mother seeing him when he was not with you?”

“Yes. I think that they spent the weekends together. Mom would leave me with Grandma and Grandpa during that time. Maybe he drank then…”

I nodded.

“Grandma and Grandpa died almost twenty years ago, just a month apart. Since then, Mom was my only relative, and friend and everything – I was too shy to make friends at school, at work too…”

Was she so shy because of losing the emotional support of her father? Maybe I would never know…

She took a delicate sip of wine and continued:

“And now I feel left completely alone. Dream every day that Dad will return somehow, from where he is working. That he will hug me again and I will smile again…” Two big tears rolled down her cheeks. “Even just once, to give me the strength to continue. I know that I must, I try it, but my strength is not enough. Maybe by very little…”

She rose up from the chair, went to the library wall and took something from there:

“This is my only photo of him.” She handled it to me.

I looked at it… and my heart jumped.

That was Uncle Franco.

Younger, with a short beard, but there could be no mistake. That was him.

I turned the photo. At his back was written: “Franco Santarosa, 1st place in Lombardy Climbing Competition, 2017”.

How this was possible?

What was the probability… statistically speaking?

“Is something wrong?” The voice of Giorgia was worried.

“Oh, ummm, he resembles a bit an uncle of mine… Not much, but there is some similarity. So I was surprised initially… But my uncle is from, ummm, Calabria, has never visited Milan, it cannot be him…”

Giorgia nodded sadly. Then suddenly something lit up in her eyes:

“Has… has your uncle ever hugged you, sometimes?”

“Of course.” It wasn’t a lie, Uncle Franco had done it several times.

“Did it feel like you are the happiest ever?”

“Ummm, mmmm… Maybe not the happiest ever, he is not my father, but I indeed felt happy… It was almost the same as when my father hugged me…”

Giorgia looked at me for some time. Then very quietly said:

“May I ask… for something?”

“Of course!”

“Could you… could you hug me, like your uncle hugged you? If he looks like Dad, maybe his hug would be similar too. Maybe it will help me… you know, continue with life.”

“Of course I will.”

I remembered well how Uncle Franco hugged me the first time he saw me, when I was five and arrived to the hut he was stationed in. How he would hug a daughter? Perhaps a little less strongly, but maybe even more protectively. Would lift her in the air, as Giorgia said… Well, she looked like she is not even 50 kilos, it wouldn’t be a problem for me to lift her in the air while holding her protectively…

When her feet left the ground, she gasped with surprise. But then hugged to me, as if trying to hide in me. And I felt exactly like a father, hugging his daughter. Feeling in the heaven with the happiness to be with her, ready to protect and defend her against the entire world. It didn’t matter at all that Giorgia was likely five years older than me. Or that she was a woman, and such a closeness would normally evoke sexual attraction. It didn’t now. Much like a father wouldn’t feel sexual attraction to his daughter even if she was Giorgia’s age…

Some time passed like this. When I finally put her carefully back on the floor, she looked at me with huge eyes. I waited patiently until she was able to speak again:

“How strong are you! I would never guess it by your appearance.”

“I have grown up with mountain rescuers. Was trained and taught how to carry an ill person, even a heavy man, on a steep mountain trail.”

Giorgia kept silent for some time. Then another two tears rolled on her face:

“You… You hugged me exactly like my father. I don’t know how. Maybe some miracle happened. But I swear I felt like he was sending me this hug. To tell me that he will always be with me. That I must find the strength to continue…”

I couldn’t find anything to say.

“Thank you, Alexandra. Thank you with all of my heart. I don’t know how I will be able to repay that to you… But you today saved me. From death or madness, I don’t know, but you did it. Thank you…”

… While waiting for the subway, I was thinking of Uncle Franco.

Until now, I didn’t know that he has been married. That he had a daughter.

And, most definitely, that he has been drinking. To the contrary – he was very intolerant towards alcohol. When not on duty, his colleagues could drink a glass of wine – he never drank even a drop.

Which was what someone that has quit drinking for good would do…

Until now, Uncle Franco was an icon to me. A saint whose perfection I wouldn’t permit to be questioned. The epitome of the real man, an ideal in flesh and blood. But he had turned out to be a human like everyone else.

Like the perfect woman Lexie, who was actually a very ordinary man.

Like the embodiment of masculinity Carlo, who was actually a girl.

Like the elderly company boss Sergio Montafun, who was actually the living god of the statistics.

Like the bitchy Grace who was actually a hero of a mother.

Like the nasty prick Tony who was actually a sufferer and a fighter.

Like the old gossip Aunt Lauretta who was actually very lonely, but strong and brave.

Like everyone else – an ordinary imperfect human and superhuman at the same time…

Part 28

“Wow, that is a sight!” Carlo exclaimed.

“Worth a couple of hours of climbing, eh?” I took the last couple of steps on the trail and stood next to him.

“With the bodysuit, yes. Previous Sunday, I stopped several times to rest while climbing it and still couldn’t reach here. Then I almost hated it, but now love it!”

“Actually, now it was a bit of strain on me to keep up with you.” I smiled.

“Wow!…” He suddenly pulled me slightly aside, to make room for a couple of girls.

“Thank you, Mister,” the taller one smiled at him.

“Oh, you are welcome, Miss! The sight is incredible!”

“We like to come here and see it… Do you?” the other girl smiled at me.

“Right here for a first time. But we will likely come again.”

“And will bring our girlfriends too,” interjected Carlo. “They decided to not come, have a girl’s day instead. But I hope we will convince them the next time to join us.” He shot a glance at me.

“Great. I hope we will meet.” The taller one was smiling, but I think I could feel a slight note of disappointment in her voice.

“I hope too,” Carlo nodded. “My apologies, but it is time for us to go back. Have a pleasant day!”

“Are you jealous?” I teased him while we were walking down.

“No, I just didn’t want to give the girls false hopes… And am thinking about something.”

“Yes?”

“It feels strange that I am in the bodysuit, while you are without it. I still absolutely like you, but the physical attraction is not the same, I can’t imagine sex with you in this combination… But in every other aspect the warmth is the same.” Carlo blushed slightly.

“Like a deep and good friendship?”

“Yes. A really, really deep and good one.” The blushing increased a bit.

“Before knowing about the real you, I thought you will make a great friend. And dreamed of teaching you to climb. Well, a mountain trail is not really a climbing, but is a good start.”

“Not really? What is a climbing, then? Crawling up vertical rocks like in a movie? Is that really a thing?”

“Of course. There are competitions in it. I have certifications on it. Don’t worry, we tie ourselves with ropes while climbing, to not fall down.”

“Wasn’t there some package that protected from falling from up to some height, and from hits from things?”

“Yes. I am still salivating when I remember it.”

“If we could obtain it, would you be climbing as Lexie? Because there is no other way to use it.”

“Likely yes…” Now it was my turn to blush. “Would need to buy another set of mountaineering clothes and shoes, but would likely do it. The thrill is incredible… Speaking of it, what about trying again trails without the bodysuit? We will not go hard, and with the time you will get endurance…”

“You would like better to climb together with me without the bodysuit?” Carlos smiled.

“Yes. Blame me for it…”

“Oh, I plan to be out of it the entire next weekend. But I might like to have Lexie for a company.”

“What?… Why?!”

“For one thing, it is good to clean your apartment thoroughly. Have you noticed how much better you are at it as Lexie?”

“Really?…” Thinking of it, she was right. I was definitely far more thorough and careful at cleaning while in the bodysuit. Somehow it only made sense to be. Like with the clothes, too. While out of the bodysuit, I would rarely even remember to examine clothes before putting them on. Wouldn’t care at all if I noticed a stain the size of a pinhead. But as Lexie, I found acceptable only perfectly clean clothes.

“And frankly, I am curious also if I will feel a physical attraction for you when you are Lexie, when I am out of the bodysuit.” Carlo blushed a bit again. “I prefer you as male, but still am curious enough to experiment with this… What do you think?”

“Ummmm… mmm…”

“Hey, don’t be afraid to speak your mind! We have had sex in both directions and my opinion of you only improved from this. It is easy to be a man when you have a package.” Carlo grinned. “How many men will still be real men while they have breasts instead? You proved you are.”

“Hm… Well, if you will be out of the bodysuit, I definitely prefer being out of it too. That is, being male… But am also curious enough to try once and see how it goes…”

“Some men would do anything to try this,” Carlo smiled.

“Well, I wouldn’t do anything for it. But…”

* * *

“What do you think, will some gaming be a good end for a Tuesday?” Carlo smiled.

“Definitely!”

“So, will this time be Lands of Glory again? Or maybe you would prefer Vetala War?”

“Maybe Vetala—” The doorbell interrupted me. “Huh? Who would be this?” I rose up from the chair and went to the door.

On it was standing a man in his forties. His hair was carefully combed to hide an early balding and his mustache was trimmed exactly like these of the typical lover character in the rom-coms I had watched.

“I am Mr. Petrini, the new prefect of the building,” he presented himself unceremoniously. “You are?”

“Umm, Alexandra Manzoni, a tenant.” Obviously the previous building prefect, the old Mrs. Langella, had retired from the position.

“So it is true that you rent the apartment?”

“Actually, I share it with the owner, Damiano Rossi. He lives here during the weekends, and I do during the workdays. During these he works as a mountain rescuer, and during the weekends I go and visit my family—”

“I don’t care where you go and when. Why haven’t you registered your tenancy? Paying rent without an official contract is a violation of the law.”

“I don’t pay any rent. Just live here, umm, to protect it from burglary while the owner is not present—”

“I don’t care. You have violated the law, and are coming with me.”

What this prick was imagining?

“Mr. Petrini, what exactly you allege against Ms. Manzoni?” Carlo said from behind me.

“And whom would be you, Mister?”

“A guest of Ms. Manzoni. Is it illegal to visit people in this building?”

“It is illegal to rent without a contract. Your girl is coming with me right now. And if you have something against that, I will call the police and you can explain that to them.”

I felt my blood boiling.

“Are you a policeman? Without being one, you cannot order people where to go. Trying to do that is itself a violation of the law.”

“Shut up, girl, or you might get bigger problems! Go right now!”

“Mr. Petrini, if you try to force my girlfriend, you might not like my reaction,” Carlo stated coldly. “And the police will understand me very well.”

“The boss of the local police is my relative, you dumbhead! Wanna quick transport to the prison?”

Carlo tried to come in front of me, I tried to hold him. However, suddenly a sharp, shrill voice echoed up and down the staircase:

“Mauritio Petrini, are you trying to harass these young people?”

The prick jumped with surprise and looked downstairs. There was standing Aunt Lauretta, her fists on her hips and her eyes blazing.

“Who the hell… Aunt Lauretta?!”

“Don’t you dare to aunt me, you little twit! I know you since you were born, your mother was a friend of mine! I remember how you were taken out every day in a baby cart and breastfed! Who do you think you are, going around and trying to bully my neighbors?! A prefect? I will call everyone who lives here and tell them a few things about you!”

The entire staircase was ringing with her voice. Old women are able to maintain an impressive strength and speed of staccato when angry, but Aunt Lauretta clearly was in a category of her own.

“This isn’t—”

“You’re not telling me what isn’t and what is! At seven you still wet yourself in the bed, you mother’s baby! All of your schoolmates were laughing at you! And your mother was constantly wiping your nose, because you couldn’t even blow it out properly! A ninny like you won’t be telling me what does and what doesn’t!”

The door across from mine opened. I could see through it the neighbors, looking out at what was happening here. Almost at the same time, I heard another door to the staircase opening. Probably after the recent burglary everyone was vigilant.

“Shut up, or I will evoke the law—”

“The law? You speak of law? You who were stealing in the middle school planks from the storage of the bazaar at Mezzo? You who boasted to your friends at school that you have tried smoking pot? As if I don’t remember how the school principal brought you home by the ear for breaking a room window with a ball? Or when you were trying to re-use bus tickets and got caught, and your mother had to pay a fine? Mention law once more, and I will be telling of your transgressions until tomorrow!”

I could see how the neighbor across from me laughed. His wife also looked amused.

“But what happens here smells of adultery—”

“Look who speaks of adultery! You who got yourself a mistress less than six months into your marriage! Wonder what she found into you! Given that your wife was complaining to the women at the hairdresser’s that you have the endurance of a rabbit, and the size too! Is that why you are trying to pull rank around here, to compensate for it?”

The entire staircase was already shaking with the laughter of the neighbors.

“Shut up, you old crone! Or I will—” His face was as red as a tomato.

“You will what, Mauritio Petrini? Remember what happened when you tried to beat another kid for his toy? Your mother dressed you in a dress of your sister and paraded you in front of all of us! And it fit you better than pants, I must say! Dare to threaten me once again, and I will call to all men here to hold you until I bring a dress of mine, to put it on you! And I will have them parade you in front of your uncle, the police commissary! With an explanation from me why you are getting this! Daring to threaten old women, and getting paraded in a dress for it? The media would love that! Hey, Annabella, I heard your laughter up there! Do you hear this? Call your brother to come here and get a lead for that investigative journalism group he works for!”

Next moment, the prick was already running downstairs. Nearly knocked Aunt Lauretta down while he was trying to squeeze past her.

“Don’t you dare to run from me, Mauritio Petrini! I know enough about your uncle too! How he finished with low grades at the police academy and got promoted by the connections of his mother! Try to get him into this, and I will see him in court and will say all that there! If he likes that, he is welcome, I am an old woman with few distractions in my life! And I will make sure to tell him he can say his thanks to you!…”

Part 29

A few minutes later Aunt Lauretta was sitting with me and Carlo around the table in my room.

“Thank you, Aunt Lauretta. Without you, this guy could create a lot of inconvenience to us,” I said.

“Oh, that is nothing. You know, a little bird told me that you two paid a lot of money to buy me a birthday present. I am glad that I could repay a little of this debt.” She looked at us with a faint smile.

“I bet it was the girlfriend of your landlord,” Carlo nodded to me. “I knew she is a chatterbox, you can’t trust a secret to her.”

“Hey, don’t offend the girl!” I protested. “She is a great friend!”

“And you deserve to get the credit you are due,” added Aunt Lauretta.

Carlo smiled. Then turned again to her:

“You really scared this guy with being exposed to the media”

The eyes of Aunt Lauretta sparkled.

“Never underestimate an old gossip, kids… And no, it was not the media that really scared him. It was the idea to put him in a dress and parade him like that.”

“You think so?”

“Of course, dear Carlo. That is the ultimate fear of every man. Don’t you believe it? Tell me, would you like to be dressed as a woman and paraded in front of other people?”

Carlo visibly paled.

“Of course, no! It is…”

“You see? These days men don’t consider the women really inferior, but the fear from being cast as women remains. Yes, some men do that, but either because they feel like they are actually women on the inside, or because they find it funny. But I bet that you will not like it… Now, I am grateful for your hospitality, but it is time for me to sleep.” She smiled toothlessly. That is going to change soon, thought I with pride.

“Please accept our sincere gratitude, Aunt Lauretta.”

She stood up from the chair with some effort, looked back at us and smiled again:

“Oh, that is just a consequence of me being still around. Thanks to you.”

* * *

“I loved how well you played being scared by being dressed in women’s clothes. Even got pale. Is that another controllable option?… Carlo, what’s up?”

“Precisely that.”

“Huh?… I don’t understand.”

“I was indeed scared by wearing women’s clothes. More than a little.”

“What?!… This doesn’t make a shred of sense! You wore a skirt this Sunday and was happy with it!… I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I. But that is what I felt. And I don’t like it a single bit.”

“I can’t believe it.”

“Really? Let’s try something. Would you go to work topless tomorrow?”

“Of course not! What has gotten into you?!”

“You even blushed. Why not? Remember, while going to lunch, we saw two workers replacing the sidewalk pieces naked to the waist?”

“Yes, but they were men!… Oh!”

“Exactly. The breasts the people would see are not really yours. What is the problem, then?”

“Well,… long story short, when I am in the bodysuit, I have to play the part. It is only normal, isn’t it?”

“As far as blushing when suggested to expose this bodysuit?”

“What do you mean?!”

“That when you are in the bodysuit, you do not just play the part. Inside your head, you are Lexie and these breasts are not the bodysuit, but you… Same with me and Carlo. And I don’t like this.”

I felt embarrassed and tried to shift away from the topic:

“Is being Carlo so bad?”

“It is not! That is the problem! If I had to live the rest of my life as Carlo, I wouldn’t regret it too much!… Inside me, Carlo is as real and solid as Carla. Turns out, I have become two people at once, thanks to the fucking bodysuit—”

“Mind your language, dear!” I tried to put the things on a lighter note.

“That too. Carla would never use such a word. Carlo is only sorry because he did it in front of a girl!… Well, he is a gentleman and would never to try to replace Carla as my real person. I am not sure about you and Lexie though. Being her appears to me even more addictive than being Carlo.”

“But I am… Gosh! I think I start getting it… But isn’t it just the same as with actors who really imagine they are the characters? What did they call that, method acting?”

“I don’t know, Le… that is, Damiano. Or you really prefer Lexie when you are like this?”

“I don’t care, frankly. Lexie, Damiano, they are both me…” Suddenly I felt coldness on the inside. “But maybe you are right, I should care. And to be afraid – where this might take me? Will I start feeling unnatural as Damiano? It appeared to me completely impossible. But when I started this masquerade, that is how appeared to me feeling natural as Lexie. Now I do and have no problems with it…”

“Same here. Something happens with me that I believed to be impossible before. And I am scared that more will follow. That I will lose myself completely. In effect will gradually die and someone else will replace me.”

“Do… do you think that the bodysuits might be subverting our personalities? Somehow reaching into our brains and modifying them?”

Carlo thought for a second.

“Likely not. They can enter a throat and change a voice, but cannot enter the organism, I have read about that. It’s considered highly dangerous. Their nanos can get defective, change what they do and do things they shouldn’t, there’s no perfect machine. If they are outside the organism, they just fall out and die, but on the inside they can do bad things. Nobody sane will engineer such ones.”

“Really?!”

“There is more. Inside the organism, it’s very harsh place to them. They are smaller than cells and immune cells mistake them for germs, eat them and dissolve them in stuff even nastier than stomach acid. And if they are made to survive that, immune cells cannot digest them, die and rot, more and more of them, poison the organism, bring you nasty illnesses. You design a nano your best agents will wear, you don’t want that. You do a lot to ensure it doesn’t happen… So I think that is not really possible.”

My relief was hard to describe. But…

“Why then do we get like this? Having additional personalities?”

“The more important question is, does this endanger our real ones. I’d like to think it doesn’t, that is what I feel, but cannot prove it.”

I thought for a moment.

“There was an old sci-fi with that in it, I can’t recall its name. A man goes to Mars and there discovers that his person is actually fake, created to gain the trust of the people he likes, and his real person is an agent that seeks to kill them. So he managed to stop the destruction of his person and remain alive, replaced the real person… What if Lexie decides that Damiano is a semi-human, compared to her, and should be replaced completely?”

“Hm. Is Lexie this kind of person?”

“Very much no… But she is really superior to Damiano, in everything possible. Kinder, more observant to the suffering of people, as strong physically but next to invulnerable, and many other things. Even smarter, I think… Becoming her permanently might become enticing at some moment.”

The Carlo’s eyes lit.

“That is it! She is superhuman, Damiano is human. Exactly like with Carlo and Carla… Hm… Thinking of it, if my bodysuit was turning me into a Lexie, she would have already taken over me. Without realizing this, I would want to be her only, to never be Carla again.”

“Same if I was turning into a Carlo… So the gender switch actually protected us from becoming super people, who however are not us?”

“To a degree, yes. And it’s not bad to be superhuman but, thinking of it, I still want to be me. I am afraid of someone else replacing me, even if they are eventually me, but much better… I might look like a pumpkin on a stick and have anxieties and problems, but that is the real me. I don’t want to lose it, even if I want to be superhuman sometimes.”

I sighed:

“There was a movie with that in too. Called “Superman” or something like. About a guy, Clark whoever, who can turn into Superman, a superhuman able to do practically anything. I watched it years ago, and was thinking – why Superman always returns to being an ordinary guy with glasses and a slouch? Isn’t being Superman much better?… Now I start getting it. He maybe is like us, able to be the superhero on need, but doesn’t want to lose being the ordinary man too.”

Carlo looked at me with interest:

“Because that is who makes him human? Being superhuman has a lot of advantages, but what if you are a human who has the desire to be better and to make the world better? Losing that human will make you powerful, but will deny you what your real self wants to be and do?”

“I think that Lexie will have all of the human part too. Maybe even more than Damiano… Dunno. Maybe other people would choose to make the switch, to become Lexie only. I wouldn’t want it. The sex change opened my eyes to how important is to be the real you. Something that I would likely have missed if I was changing into a Carlo instead.”

“Hmm. That will take some thinking before I can have a reliable answer.”

“Well, we don’t have the time to play a computer game already. So, what about playing some other game? Will that help us see the problem from all sides?”

“And explore it in depth?” Carlo smiled.

“Definitely!”

Part 30

“Lexie, whom you will be voting for?”

“Voting?… Aren’t the elections more than a year away?”

All women exploded in laughter.

“The company best man, you goofy.”

“Sorry?”

“We just talked about it. Didn’t you listen?”

“No, I was modifying this script…”

Women rolled their eyes as one.

“Every year, the company votes for best employees,” Mommy explained. “Women vote for best male employee and men for best female employee. The Boss is not eligible to vote for. The previous year, Lu and Filippo won.”

“Isn’t a separate voting a discrimination? Why not just for a best employee, regardless of sex?”

“Oh, you feminists!… That is how The Boss arranged it. He says there is a bias against women, hence separate votes. And to reduce toxicity, only the opposite sex votes for a candidate… So, whom you will be voting for? Not that I have any doubt…” She smiled.

“Well, every one of the men has contributed a lot—”

“Come on, will you be voting for anyone other than Carlo? I don’t believe it”.

“If you do, you will be the only one,” Lu added. “Girls, wanna hear if the men by chance talk about the same too? Not that I have doubts…” Without waiting for a confirmation, she quickly assembled her eavesdropping device and turned it on.

“– for her too,” Nicola Petruccio was saying. “Filippo might be biased, but I am not. She is indeed the best worker here. Of both men and women.”

“Had you said you will vote for Grace, I wouldn’t believe you.” This was the voice of Tony. Snickering and mutters of agreement joined him.

How often we consider the sufferers to be deplorable, I thought. And how easily… Could it be that Carla’s landlady was also a sufferer? Somewhere deep, not seen by occasional people like Carla and me? Twisted by something I would never know?…

“– for Vinnie instead,” Gab was saying. “She is quiet and shy, but is a hard and very useful worker.”

Vinnie was smiling the happiest smile I had even seen on her face. And delicately brushed a tear.

There was a knock on the door. Lu instantly hid her device under the table, but it turned out to be Fabricia.

“Girls, please be welcome to vote!”

The voting booth turned out to be the room of the marketing manager, who had left the company couple of weeks ago. Without this making any difference, Fabricia had noted… Inside the room, there was a table with a small urn and a pen on it.

I looked at the piece of paper in my hand. The names of the men in the company were printed on it, with a checkbox against each one. All except The Boss.

And me. I would be on the women’s list. As Alexandra Manzoni. Would even likely win the vote, judging by what I just heard…

Carlo was right. With each day, our alter egos were becoming more and more real. Replacing us with themselves.

And it was so tempting to just accept that. As Lexie I was so much more than as Damiano… And this had won me for being her, at least sometimes. Something than I wouldn’t believe initially.

Even the sex as her was so much better, despite feeling unusual, I thought and felt my face burning. Liking sex as woman more than sex as man!… This indeed had to stop. Or it would eventually take me where I still didn’t want to be. Despite how great it felt.

Well, the voting itself was easy. Carla was more a man than everyone in the company. Despite looking like a teenage girl. Definitely more than me… She deserved my vote for a best man. As Carlo or not. Despite not being a man. Or exactly because of even not being a man…

I came out of the room, deep in thoughts. Turned towards the Boudoir, but Mommy touched my shoulder:

“Wait a moment.”

“For the announcement of the winners?”

She just looked at me like if I was an idiot.

What to wait for?… Had I missed something other from the talk, too?… Okay, let’s see.

The men entered the room one by one, and after coming out waited in the corridor too. Gab, who was the last, came out looking really uncomfortable.

Tony stepped next to him, slightly nudged him and whispered at him:

“Come on, Gab! It is a quest! You’ve got to win the princess!”

Gab looked at him, then at the other men, blushed a bit, took a deep breath and tried to kneel before Vinnie. Knocking a lamp off Fabricia’s desk in the process. He grabbed it and put it back on the desk, knocking down this time her phone set. And when trying to put that back too, he dropped a small box and had to fish it out of under the desk. After that all, he knelt again, almost stepping on the foot of Nicola Petruccio, who pulled aside with surprising agility.

“Vinnie, will you…” He wondered for a second, then tried to open the box and dropped it too. A ring rolled out of it, stopping at Filippo’s shoe. Gab grabbed it and continued:

“Vinnie, will you be my princess? In… ahm, good and bad? For as long as the sun shines? And the knights carry… ugh…” His brows came together. “Okay, for as long as we live?”

Vinnie had blushed charmingly. The other women were smiling. A bit to my surprise, I felt smiling too. Not laughing at Gab – being happy for them both.

“I-I-I will… my p-prince.”

We all started clapping hands. Gab tried to put the ring on Vinnie’s finger. Managed it on the third attempt. Somewhere in the back of my mind I noted that usually at such a sight I would be rolling on the floor with laughter – but now didn’t. I was swimming in happiness for them.

And apparently everyone else was, too. For a moment I noticed Carlo’s eyes – they were dreamy. Maybe I should do the same soon. While being Damiano. Before Carlo does it to me while I am Lexie… And even if that came first, I would welcome it too.

Even Tony was smiling in a way so different from his usual smirk. I realized that in this short moment, he was his real self, not the twisted mask that he always wore, that was his pain. He was what he would be, had he been born with a normal heart… I couldn’t help but hoped in this moment that he will find a cure as soon as possible. He deserved it.

* * *

“A-a-actually we plan a m-marriage,” Vinnie was explaining in our room ten minutes later.

“Why hurry?” There was a bit of worry on Mommy’s face. “I mean, give yourself a few months. Gab is a strange guy, you can expect surprises with one like him.”

“I k-know what to expect from him and what not. Yes, he is not perfect. Neither am I. We will be fixing our problems together.”

Vinnie continued to impress me. She indeed was much more than what we had seen through her shell of shyness.

“And I am pregnant. I learned it this morning.”

“What?! Wow! That’s great!”

“Hoorray, Vinnie!”

“Make a good father out of him. Men are sometimes afraid of that—”

“Congratulations, Vinnie,” I joined the chorus. “Gab might not be perfect, but nobody is. And if he wants to fix his problems together with you, I think you will be happy together.”

“We will be!… And what about you and C-Carlo? Won’t you be t-tying the knot soon?”

“Oh, ummmm, we still haven’t thought of this… Sure, it is a good idea, but we still… Ummm, we…” No good answer was coming to my head.

All faces around immediately became worried.

“Lexie, is everything between you okay?”

“Absolutely! It is, ummmmm, just that we still haven’t considered this. Ummmm—”

“Why? It is not natural to be so good a match and not consider it!”

“Is there something we don’t know?”

“Lexie, if you need help, you can always tell us.”

“Ummmm, no, there is nothing like that. We just are, ummmm, so happy like this that hadn’t thought of going further… Ummmm, we surely will, things are going this way, just… ummm… just not as quickly…”

The expressions of all women were screaming that they don’t trust me on that. I knew that I am a bad liar, but in this case the lie was not about that! It actually was not a lie; I certainly was dreaming of being with Carla forever!… Just…

* * *

“I made the same mistake,” said Carlo around a mouthful of food. “Men are not as inquisitive and observant as women, but around them I had become less proficient at lying with the time, too. One of the downsides of the bodysuit – you need to lie less than if you are a woman… Or of its upsides, depending on the case.”

“We just have to drop the masks. Whatever that means. No matter what it costs us. I just can’t continue like this anymore.”

Carlo looked at me carefully:

“You can’t continue anymore, or you are afraid of it? Because you can?”

“Hm… Yes, I can, but at a cost. And it is this cost that I can’t accept… If I continue, I will have to accept being Lexie. More than being Damiano… Yes, she is also eventually me, but somehow I cannot force myself to this.”

Carlo thought for a couple of seconds, then sighed:

“I get the same feeling about myself too… But we still are financially not secure in long term.”

“Weren’t you saying that they will have to eventually introduce a good universal income?”

“They will, but this might not be very soon. We should best have enough money to sustain a couple of years on. Not having to pay rent gives us some leeway, but still not enough.” He got up, collected the plates and carried them towards the kitchen.

“Maybe The Boss will keep us? He needs our work, and we are both good at what we do.” I continued after he returned.

“I hope so too, but am not sure. Nicola Petruccio says that he really hates being lied to. And we both did, about who we are.”

“I have heard the same… But I want out of that bodysuit from the hell. No matter what.”

Carlo sighed.

“Okay, we will. I see that you are on the verge of panic… No, I understand you very well, I am almost there too, keeping on top of it by a lot of effort. Maybe it is indeed time to jump and see where we will land.”

“Then we switch the bodysuits off now before going to sleep?”

“Yes.”

Part 31

“Frankly, I feel even closer to panic than before,” Carla whispered while we were entering the elevator. “Maybe all of my future depends on what will happen now. And yours too… and that is important to me.” She blushed slightly.

“Same with me,” I admitted. “At least I hope that this will convince him we are saying the truth.” I shook the bag with the two bodysuits. “But how he will look at it…” The elevator stopped at our floor, I took in a deep breath and pushed the door open.

When Fabricia saw us, there was a slight surprise on her face:

“Excuse me, have you… Mister, didn’t you applied before? Mr. Montafun didn’t warn me that you will visit again. And, Miss, are you applying for a job too?”

“Ummm… how to say it… I am not exactly applying for a job… I am here because I… Well, I must talk with The Bo… that is, Mr. Montafun…”

The surprise on Fabricia’s face increased. And I think that a pinch of curiosity joined it.

“Wait here, please.” She picked the handset and waited a few seconds. “Mr. Montafun? We have two visitors, one of them applied for a job several months ago… Didn’t you invite them?… I don’t know, they said nothing… Okay.”

She put down the handset.

“Mr. Montafun waits for you. The last door on the left.”

When we entered, I was again startled for a brief moment by the lack of recognition on the face of The Boss.

“Please, sit down. Mr… Rossi, if my memory does not fail me? What I owe the honor to? Are you still interested in a position here?”

“Ummm… You see, Mr. Montafun, I am not… That is, I am not because I actually already work here. For several months already…”

One of the brows of The Boss went up.

“Strange. I am not aware of that. And, thinking of it, I ought to be.”

I tried to gather courage to tell him about the bodysuits, but needed some time. He meanwhile switched his attention to Carla:

“It is my pleasure, Miss. Are you just accompanying Mr. Rossi? Or you are interested in a job, for example?”

“Not exactly… You see, I also work here for some time already… We come like this exactly because you ought to know it…”

The other brow of The Boss went up too.

“I apologize, but I don’t get the joke. Could you please explain it?”

“Well, we work here… how to say it?” I struggled to formulate words that would appear nicer but still explain the situation. “Undercover, so to speak… In disguise…”

Carla nodded energetically.

“I still don’t get the joke. My apologies, perhaps I am even dumber than you think?” Something in his tone hinted that he is not exactly amused.

“No, you are not!… Ummm…” I couldn’t find other words. There was only one thing I could do. I put the bag on the table and started unzipping it.

“Maybe it will be the best if we just show it to you,” Carla said and reached towards the bag too.

I pulled out one of the bodysuits – that turned out to be Carlo’s. Pushed it in the hands of Carla and took out mine:

“Remember when you couldn’t hire me because the situation constrained you to seeking a woman? By some luck I found a… it is called bodysuit. One that could make me appear female… I apologize most sincerely, I was really desperate for a job…” I unfolded the bodysuit and put it on the table. The likeness to the face I had seen in the mirror yesterday was apparent.

“Me, I had applied to many places, but they turned me down everywhere.” said Carla. “Nobody believed that a girl who looks like me can be a competent IT. Also chanced on such a bodysuit, initially couldn’t force myself to use it…” She unfolded it and held it. “But when I got the chance to show my skills to you, I understood that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and didn’t dared to risk missing it…” She put the bodysuit on the table, next to mine.

The Boss looked incredulously at the bodysuits. Then came to the table, lifted them one by one, examined them carefully.

Then went back to his desk, opened one of the drawers, shook out of a small pillbox two red tablets and popped them in his mouth.

Then dropped on the chair like a sack and started laughing so hard that the windows were ringing.

In a few seconds, the door opened and showed a very worried Fabricia. After seeing what the noise was, she calmed down somewhat, but still asked:

“Is everything okay, Mr. Montafun?”

He only waved his hand, incapable of stopping the laugh. In just a second, Filippo and Nicola Petruccio showed up at the door. Behind them, I could see the rest of our colleagues.

“Need help, Sergio?” quickly asked Petruccio.

“No… Don’t worry… It’s okay… Unless I die from laughter…”

Petruccio and Filippo exchanged puzzled glances, then looked at Carla and me suspiciously, but did nothing. Some time passed before The Boss could compose himself.

“Everything is okay… Thank you, you can continue working… Fabricia, wait a moment, please. Are Lexie and Carlo here, by any chance?”

“No. And I am wondering why they are late. They are the kind of people who will give a warning if they will be…”

“Thank you, you may go…”

* * *

When she closed the door, The Boss went to the table with the bodysuits again. Picked them one by one and examined them very carefully again.

“So you indeed already work here… I don’t want to even think what is the probability, statistically speaking…” He chuckled again. “But I must admit that this is the best joke I have ever seen… Could you please tell me how did you obtained these technological marvels? I am really curious.”

“Well, by an omission by someone important and influential. Who prefers to stay in the shadows and is not happy with that omission at all—”

“And who is not Gianfranco Puglisi,” Carla inserted. One of the brows of The Boss went up again, but he said nothing.

“And it might be better if you don’t know how exactly they reached us. They did by wild chance, I would say…”

Followed a long and rather messed up explanation how everything unfolded, up to our decision to drop the bodysuits. Without some key details – where exactly we got them, who designed them etc. Not knowing that would be safer for The Boss, and we owed that to him.

“So… We both understand that lying to you was a very bad thing. But hope that you will forgive us. We were really desperate… And we are still the workers you know and value, even if with different appearances and names. Could we hope that you will consider keeping us?”

The Boss was lost in thought for some time. Finally spoke:

“This will be the best for everybody, including the company and me. However, there are some details to take into account. Ending your contracts as Lexie and Carlo and hiring your real identities is the easy part.”

“Can we help with something?”

“To start with, I noticed that the other employees saw the bodysuits on the table. Maybe some noticed their likeness. And it would be really strange if that is not connected to the fact that Lexie and Carlo suddenly are missing, without even a warning… I am afraid that it might be impossible to hide that they have been you.”

Both we sighed.

“Which brings other questions. For months, women had shared with Lexie things that are shared between women only. Used the changing room together with her etc. Ditto for Carlo and the men. All your colleagues here are nice people who likely wouldn’t cause a scandal because of that, but still. Also, I will do my best to moderate whatever negative reactions might arise, but you still might need to apologize and make amends.”

“We will. As many times as needed, and more… By the way, will they know who of us was who?”

The Boss looked at us and smiled.

“What about starting all this with something positive?” He picked the handset from his desk. “Fabricia? Could you please invite everyone to my office? It is time to announce the results of the voting for best employees.”

A minute later, all employees were in the room. And, judging by how they were looking at us, they had guessed who we are. Both Carla and I were blushing fiercely.

“As I see, you are already aware that two of our colleagues had had to work here for some time in disguise. For reasons that are their own business only.” The Boss looked at everybody through his glasses. “Now they can continue to work as themselves. There is nothing new, they are exactly the same people you already know, have the same skills and so on. We continue to be the same team and to work together.”

He waited for a few seconds, then continued:

“By the way, I have to announce the winners of the vote for best employees. As it is not hard to guess, we know them under the names Alexandra Manzoni and Carlo Gatti. Miss, Mister, this is one more proof that you belong and are valued here.” He took out of a drawer in his desk two small packages and handled them to us.

We thanked him, still unable to process everything.

“Now, it is time to continue work. I apologize for hurrying up, but we have to finish that big analysis about the AI acceptance by age…”

“Wow, you have to tell us about this!” I heard Lu whispering to Carla.

“I will—”

“Just a moment, before the men have dragged Carlo away.” Lu turned towards me. “Carlo, could you please help me with the new version of StatWhiz? It stubbornly says it is illegal copy. Is there something with the license?”

“Um…” I stammered.

“Maybe I can try, I think I know what it is,” interjected Carla. “He told me he has something else to do—”

“Great! By the way, is Lexie your real name?”

“Um, no… It is Carla…”

“Sorry?” suddenly interrupted them Nicola Petruccio. “Carla? May I know your family name, please?”

Carla hesitated for a moment, but the twinkle in the eyes of Petruccio could not be mistaken. He had heard her name and that she can deal with an IT problem, and had instantly put two and two together. So much for hiding who of us was who.

Not that it would be possible to hide it for long anyway, as Carla hadn’t been inventive with a name for the bodysuit at all… And even if she was, our skills were too different…

“Gatti… Carla Gatti…”

There was a dead silence in the room. Everyone had understood who of us was who.

I couldn’t lift my eyes from the floor.

After a minute of silence, Mommy said:

“We should consult about this. Nicola?”

“Yes.” He turned towards Carla and me. “My apologies, but this all will take some effort on our side to wrap our heads around. Could we the rest have a talk about it?”

I could only nod silently.

In half a minute, only The Boss, Carla and I remained in the room.

* * *

I was again in the clutches of the doubt and the fear.

What if our colleagues were too incensed by all that and demanded that we are fired?

What if they decided to call the police on us?

The Boss appeared to be understanding, but would he be able to save us if our colleagues were too angry?…

Almost half an hour passed before there was a knock on the door. All our colleagues entered and stood in a line along the walls. Mommy and Petruccio stepped ahead. Obviously they would be the speakers.

“Ahem…” Petruccio started. “We all understand the unique situation we are in.”

“But exactly due to its uniqueness, we believe that we should have a say in it too,” Mommy added, looking at The Boss. He looked back at her and nodded.

“We feel that those young people, despite appearing nice and kind, are unknown to us,” Petruccio continued. “Hence, we cannot accept working with them. I am sorry, but it is only reasonable on our part.”

My heart froze.

“At the same time, we well understand how indispensable to the company have become Lexie and Carlo,” Mommy said. “Without them, it would be impossible to work efficiently. They are absolutely needed here.”

What the hell did they want to say?!

“Due to this, our decision is to reject these newcomers and most categorically demand our old colleagues.” declared Petruccio. “We kindly insist, Mr. Montafun, that you take all necessary measures to ensure them back here instead!”

The Boss threw a puzzled look at him. Then suddenly his face lit up:

“Of course! You are completely right. Miss, Mister, I believe that you understand what this company needs from you.”

They… they wanted us to continue wearing the bodysuits?! Why?! What is the difference?! They do not add anything to our skills!

“No matter how decent and capable these young people are, they would never be a match for our dear Lexie and Carlo!” Mommy stated categorically. “We urge you to return them back here as soon as possible!”

“Do you want to discuss the situation between you?” The Boss asked Carla and me.

“Yes, please…” Carla replied.

We went out in the corridor, leaving everyone else in the office of The Boss.

“Frankly, I didn’t expect that,” Carla said.

“Me either… They demand us to continue wearing the bodysuits?! Should that be any of their business, damn it?”

“Well, we lied to them, so they have a bit of right to have demands… Wait!”

“What?”

Carla quietly approached the door of The Boss and put an ear to the wooden frame:

“Wait… They are laughing!”

“Huh?”

“They are pulling our legs, silly!”

“Are you sure?!”

“Of course!… Let’s turn the joke on them, eh?” She smiled mischievously.

How could I refuse a wish of my girl?

We entered back and Carla announced:

“Agreed. Tomorrow we are coming again as you know us.”

“Only tomorrow?” Petruccio protested. “We require nothing less than every day! A day without Lexie and Carlo is an empty day in this company!”

“Deal! From now on, we will be coming in that way!” Carla assured him.

“And hey, we can’t wait to see your marriage too!” Mommy insisted. “It would be a shame to the company if you don’t tie the knot soon!”

“Don’t worry, we will do that too,” Carla replied.

“Great! I can’t wait to help Lexie choose a bridal gown!” Lu piped. I felt my face burning, but heroically upped the ante:

“And we hope that we soon will become more, too!”

This time both Grace and Mommy couldn’t keep composure and started giggling. Filippo was already hiding his face and his shoulders were shaking. Even Tony and Nicola Petruccio’s eyes glinted. In a second everyone exploded with laughter.

“I bet that no woman would be able to tell better than Lexie what men would think about this or that gown,” Grace noted with a wide smile.

“And no man will be able to tell better than Carlo what women would think about this or that gift,” added Nicola Petruccio.

After the laughter finally subsided, The Boss knocked on his desk:

“A bit of attention, please. Given the situation, I would suggest that Mr. Rossi moves to the room of the analysts, while Miss Gatti comes to the room of the data processing team.”

“Reasonable,” Mommy replied. “However, Lexie stays in our room! Seriously! She belongs there and there only!”

The other women all nodded.

“And Carlo stays in ours,” added Nicola Petruccio. “So fine and decent young man would always be the pride of the male part of the company.”

I exchanged glances with Carla. Did they really expected us to come to work again in the bodysuits? Or just were telling us that, should we decide to do it, we are welcome in this way too? That we are forgiven and accepted?

I hoped it was that. And, judging by their reactions, I was right.

Still smiling, The Boss stepped forward:

“After everything is settled, I think that our colleagues might need the rest of the day to enjoy their awards and being themselves. Of course, I will expect them tomorrow to be at work.”

He nodded at us, then suddenly chuckled:

“Given the data we have, statistically speaking, the perfect man would be a woman, and the perfect woman would be a man.”

Part 32

“It is really beautiful,” I said, looking at the small statuette in my hand. Made of glass, it didn’t resemble anything specific, but was definitely stylish.

We were striding leisurely on the street. The setting sun was illuminating the puffy clouds that took most of the sky, and occasional gusts of wind played with the Carla’s hair.

“Yes,” she nodded. “This crazy adventure came to a happy end…”

“Do I sense a ‘but’ in there?”

Carla walked silently for some time. Then sighed:

“Less than twenty-four hours ago, I was almost panicked by having to wear the bodysuit. I was ready to almost anything to part with it… But now, when that is done, I suddenly start realizing that it wasn’t so bad.”

I kept silent.

“I gained a bit of comfort now, and it gave me the opportunity to think about it calmly. Being Carlo was not being me, but… it wasn’t bad. It was an unbelievable freedom and privilege. Being male, strong, good-looking, authoritative, accepted… I think I will sometimes miss it. Maybe enough to even want to sometimes still feel it, be it. Not always, not even for most of the time, but sometimes yes…”

I nodded:

“I am getting it. Well, I still don’t want to be a woman, but…” I felt blushing. “I can see the advantages of being Lexie too. Not because a beautiful girl is entitled to everything, I tried to not abuse that… Frankly, I think I will miss it too. The incentive to think, observe and understand the others. The freedom to be compassionate and nice without the others thinking you are not a real man. The ability to lift up the heart of someone with just a smile… It might be paradoxical to you, but some men would like to be able to do that.”

“It doesn’t seem strange to me at all. I am amazed how much good a girl who is not a spoiled brat can do. I never had thought about it before, it was a great lesson to me. And I am even more amazed that if that girl is actually a boy, she will put all women around to shame…”

“Well, maybe not to shame, but… You see, men want to prove they are better than one another, than women…”

“And some of them succeed. You won’t believe how much it helped me having Lexie as a role model, despite the differences in the appearance. What a mountain of self-confidence emulating her gave me… But the ability to appear male helped me get rid of some insecurities, too. I will miss that.”

“Well,…” I tapped on the bag. “If you miss the bodysuit, you can always use it. I won’t have anything against that. You know how much I enjoyed climbing together with you as Carlo.”

Carla threw a look and me. And suddenly smiled:

“Thinking of it, you could do it too. Tell me honestly, would you like to sometimes be Lexie? It has upsides too, you just said it. And I will only gain from having your example.”

I felt myself blushing again.

“Well,… I might… Probably will. But… wouldn’t you see it now as perverted? When I do it not out of necessity?”

“What?!… Come on! What perversion you can gain from it? Feeling what a woman feels during sex? Great, you will understand me better! You will see a perfect female body in the shower? As if you can’t see on the Net as many as you like, and much more sexed up than Lexie!… And, you know, a girl sometimes just needs female company. Can I hope for something better than having my boyfriend for this too? I won’t force you on anything, but I would really like you do it sometimes!”

“Ditto for men needing sometimes male company…”

Carla giggled so happily that my heart melted.

“And I can be both the female company and the male company for you! Wow!… So, when we did not feel forced to wear the bodysuits, we could stop fearing them and think more objectively. And we will find that they aren’t as scary… You see, I read a lot about these things. People changing sex, trans people and so on…”

I waited for some time for her to continue.

“What about them?”

“Scientists say that nobody is only male or female, exactly one hundred percent. So, maybe everyone is a tiny bit trans. And with enough help, in the right situation, this might show up. And make them want to feel what is to be of the other sex, for a change. What do you think?”

“Some people might benefit from that… Thinking of it, for example everyone.”

“Yes. And using the bodysuits sometimes might actually be good for us. Give us understanding of the other one, more closeness one to another… So we might come to work in them sometimes. Or use them during a weekend.” She smiled.

“Are you sure that this will not gradually entice us to stop being ourselves? You see, they are still superhuman and we aren’t—”

“They aren’t anything. WE are superhuman with them… Not just physically. I have been through a lot of things, but nothing taught me more about being a decent human than the short time I was Carlo… Or about the other people. And most of all, about myself.”

How true was that for me too!

“But wouldn’t we start liking and wanting to be the other sex? It looks to me impossible by now, but with the time…?”

“At most, we might stop associating ourselves with one sex only; might start perceiving ourselves as humans first, and might consider the sex as changeable as clothes. If you take the climbing clothes off, does this make you on the inside non-mountaineer? I don’t think so. You wore a skirt for several months, and this didn’t make you less of a man. If anything, the opposite.” She smiled again and hugged me.

“And enjoy the sex as the opposite sex?” I tried to goad her, but felt blushing again. Was I joking about her… or about myself?

“Who suffers if we do? Or loses anything? If nobody, what’s wrong with it?”

“Sounds right…”

“And not only…” She blushed slightly. “Thinking of it, I see I don’t worry anymore if I am a girl or a boy. I can live and be happy as any of the two… What I really need is not so much to be of the sex I prefer.”

The blushing strengthened.

“It is being with you. No matter if you are a boy or a girl, as long as that is you.”

She smiled, stopped and hugged me. And I felt happier than ever. More than I thought possible.

“Me too.”

* * *

“This place is cozy.” Carla looked around. The interior at Salazzo’s was simple, he didn’t have the money for luxury or modern furniture, but kept it clean and nice looking. “And the salmon was a treat… What about ice cream for a dessert?”

“Yeah. Will you just excuse me for a while?” I got up and went to the restroom.

How much the things had changed, I was thinking while relieving myself. Several months ago, I relied on the leftovers from here to survive. Now I was ordering the costliest thing in their menu, just to have a pretext to pay them more. Salazzo deserved it…

When I approached the small booth we had reserved, I noticed that some girl had taken my place and was speaking with Carla. I quietly sat in the booth next to it, so that I could be aware when my place is free.

There was something about that girl that tugged at my memory. A couple of seconds passed before I could put a finger on it. She looked a lot like that actress… Marylin… I forgot her family name. The stereotypical blonde from the old movies. I had watched her in several ones.

“—can’t believe it,” Carla was saying. “What did I fix in your shop?”

“The cash register. And you didn’t want to take my money for a payment. I barely convinced you to take the bodysuit instead… Now do you believe me?”

“Yes… I heard that your shop was closed?”

“Who did you hear it from?”

“Calm down, not someone you should fear. He will be here any moment…”

Was that possible?!… There was only one way to know.

“Hello.”

The girl almost jumped when she saw me.

“What?! How that is possible?… You two go together now?!”

“Ask Damiano about probabilities, he is the statistician here. Damiano, meet a girl you know. Just not with this appearance.”

“You are the girl from the sex shop?”

“Yes… And you are the guy who bought me a kebab with his last pennies.” She smiled.

“What happened with you?” Carla asked her. “Tell me, please. We are as much in all this as you, there is no sense in hiding anything.”

“Well… After that day, I was tempted to try a bodysuit too. Had my eye on the ‘Actress’ model. Maybe looking more attractive would help me sell better. And, you know…” She winked.

“I took it home and came in it the next day. Had tweaked my appearance to look a bit like Audrey Hepburn in ‘Breakfast in Tiffany’. While unlocking the shop, suddenly some goons grabbed me and pushed me in. Initially I thought they are burglarizing the shop or maybe mugging or raping me. Then saw that the boss of the mall is with them too and they are ordering him like an errand boy, and got really scared. Good thing that I’m imaginative.”

“They had a photo of me, saw I didn’t look like it and asked who I was. I told them I am the roommate of the girl who works in the shop. And that she did not feel well that day and asked me to fill in for her… Then they started asking questions if I know her and so on. I spun that we both are illegal immigrants, but my roommate was luckier and could steal the documents of a girl who looks like her. That is, the real me is innocent and never knew anything about the bodysuits. Never worked in a sex shop at all, some unknown immigrant pretended to be me, go after her.” She smiled mischievously. “They watched me, but this model bodysuit hides the signs of lying, they believed me.”

“They asked me to take them to the girl who works in the shop. I led them to the room I rented – luckily it has a second bed. Of course nobody was there. I pretended to be really surprised, told them that she was in the bed this morning and felt so bad she couldn’t get up. That I don’t understand how it is possible that she isn’t here anymore, and her luggage has disappeared too… They decided she has learned somehow of the trap and have tricked me to get caught instead of her, and ran away immediately after I left. They had me promise that I will notify them if she pops up, gave me a phone number to call, told me that I should never mention about her or the sex shop to anyone. I even begged some money out of them, to survive while I find a job, said I hadn’t found one yet and she supported me.” She smiled again, this time with a bit of pride.

“Since then, I am on the run. This model can switch its appearance in seconds between half a dozen programmable ones. I had them all tuned and changed my appearance often. Looks like they lost track of me.”

“More like they stopped caring about you,” Carla said. “About us too. I think that if they really wanted to know who and where we are, they would know it. Maybe already do. But so far nobody has disturbed us. Calm down and live your life.”

The girl sighed.

“There is a problem with that. A month ago, I sat on the bodysuit remote and broke it. Now I am stuck in the bodysuit, with this appearance.”

“It is not a bad appearance,” Carla smiled. “Do you still keep the pieces of the remote?”

“Yes. That is why I dared to disturb you and tell you who I am. Do you think it might be possible to fix?” The girl took out of her purse several pieces of plastic and handled them to Carla.

Carla examined them carefully:

“All pieces are there – good… And what is even better, the case is broken, but the electronics board looks okay. I think I can adapt a case for it from an ordinary universal remote. They are easy to find and judging by the button sensors, should work. Tomorrow evening you will have it back and working.”

“Thank you! If you can do that, I will be more grateful than I can express!”

“It is just returning a debt,” I interjected. “We are grateful to you too.”

She looked at us:

“I just can’t believe it. You not only found one another, but are an item now. And I barged on you too. Looks like something totally improbable to me.”

“Statistically speaking—” both Carla and I started at the same time. Then looked one at another and erupted with laughter. The girl looked at us, not getting the joke, then joined.

“Looks to me that you two have a lot to tell.”

“Oh, there is nothing special—”

“Come on, please, tell me! I gave you these bodysuits, it is fair to share!… Tell me, didn’t it feel a bit perverted to use them?”

Carla and I exchanged glances. How to explain it to someone who hasn’t been through it and felt what it is? That the very question is idiotic, to start with?

“Well, we got used to it and stopped paying attention to that.”

“Do they make you sexually attracted to children?… I guess it is not true, but so many people on the Net say all sexually different people are pedophiles, so I was curious… Okay, did you managed to convince people in them? Was it hard? Did you managed to put out an acceptable example of the other sex?”

Carla and me looked one to another and smiled.

“Did you finally learned that being a woman is not easy?” she turned towards me.

“Ask Carla how easy it was for her to be a man,” I smiled.

“There’s no need, I know very well what a privilege it is. Isn’t it?”

Carla rolled her eyes, but the girl didn’t notice it she was busy looking victoriously at me.

“Did you used it to sneak at women’s room and see them undressing? Don’t tell me you didn’t, I won’t believe it! Women want places for them only for a reason!”

“If I want to see women undressing, I have my girlfriend,” I pointed to the obvious. “And I can put the bodysuit on and watch myself in the mirror as much as I want. Not to even speak about how much free porn is there on the Net, showing way more than any dressing room.”

She just blinked for a moment. Then leaned towards us and whispered:

“Did you try to meet with the bodysuits on?”

“We did. In fact, that is how we met—”

“And did you like one another with them too? Yes? Did you… you know?”

Gosh, is that what people always think of? Yes, before I likely would think about it only too, but…

The End