I had a totally normal happy childhood, raised by my Mum Paula after my dad had long since disappeared soon after I had been born. I had a lot of friends that stayed with me from nursery school through junior school and we all played and learned together. At that young age we all just mixed with each other, boys and girls, not knowing that there was any difference between us except that girls wore skirts and dresses and had long hair, unlike us boys. In fact two of my best friends who I spent a lot of time with were my neighbours Lynne and Marie. To within a few weeks we were almost exactly the same age and spent a lot of time together when we were very young.

We lived in a small village outside Harrogate in Yorkshire and there were no other children our age in the village, most of our nursery-school friends lived in town, so at home we usually played and did things together. A lot of the time the pastimes were gender neutral, drawing and colouring, playing on the swings, slides and roundabouts in the park, feeding the ducks and geese in the lake, playing board games, singing along to the tunes on the kids’ tv shows and things like that. Sometimes they joined me in rough and tumble games, kicking a ball around, tree climbing, skimming pebbles on the lake, mock sword fights, sometimes I would join them in playing house, dressing-up, having tea parties with their dolls and furry animal toys, helping our mums mixing the dough for cakes and scones. It never really crossed our minds that there were boys’ activities and girls’ activities, we just had fun being with each other and enjoying ourselves. As all our birthdays were within a few weeks of each other and we usually had joint birthday parties we called ourselves ‘The Triplets’, Lynne, Marie and me, Oliver or Ollie.

As we progressed to more structured lessons in junior school we found other friends in school time, Lynne and Marie grouped with other girls and I joined in with the boys’ activities, However once we left for home we were The Triplets again and enjoyed the rest of our childhood together before moving up to secondary school where there were a lot more clubs and societies that we could join.

After school one day we were all in Lynne’s bedroom singing along to the latest hit tunes playing on the radio, when she turned off the music.

“Ollie, Marie and I are thinking of joining the school junior choir, do you want to join with us? You have a good singing voice, it hasn’t broken yet, you will have a couple of years or so before it changes, until then we can harmonise quite well just like when we were just singing along with all the tunes on the radio.”

“Why not, at least we can do that together, a lot of the clubs we have joined are mainly for boys or girls, but the choir is fairly mixed, let’s do it.” I quickly replied, happy to have found something at school that we could all do as a group.

For the next few years the choir and its spin-offs became our main extra-curricular activity. As well as the more formal leading the singing at morning assembly, we enjoyed performing concerts ranging from operetta to Country and Pop, usually appearing as the choral backing in musicals put on by the drama club.

One by one, as we were in our mid-teens the voices of the other boys broke, and as they were maturing they were either no longer able to carry a tune or they moved into the senior choir as baritones or tenors. Soon I was the only boy left, my voice had changed from the pure treble to a high alto/soprano, but showed no signs of developing further. Everyone one else in our classes seemed to be having a growth spurt, the girls had got taller and more shapely, the boys bulking out and getting more muscular and stocky, I just stayed as I was, the slim weedy short guy, standing out amongst all the blossoming girls that were now my only singing partners.

Because of my size and to all intents and purposes my female-sounding voice, and the fact that I spent a lot of time with the girls in the choir, and with Lynne and Marie doing our homework together, I became the butt of a lot of jokes and name-calling. Most of the girls in my classes were ok with me, although I was occasionally jokingly asked if I wanted to borrow a uniform skirt, or a ribbon for my hair, but many of the boys saw me as too girly to be associated with and ignored me meaning that I spent even more time with the girls. The more I was shunned by the boys and spent in the company of girls, the more I seemed to adopt their mannerisms and style of talking and expressing myself and when speaking I was often mistaken for another one of the girls.

“I’ve got good news girls, er and Ollie.” our music teacher Miss Crawford gathered us together one day, “Someone from the local musical theatre group heard your last performance and would like you all to join as the chorus and dancers in their next production, ‘The Sound of Music’, are you all up for it?”

We all jumped at the opportunity and nervously turned up a few days later for an audition with the director.

“Split up into groups of three at first, sing a bit of ‘Do-re-mi’ to let me hear your range, and then do a verse individually, there are song sheets for you and a backing track to help you along.”

After a few other trios had performed it was now the turn of Lynne Marie and me. We went through the number getting more confident as it went along, the many times that we had sung together to the tunes on the radio meant that we harmonised well, our timing was almost perfect .

“You three are definitely in, you can really carry a tune and are able to put drama and emotion into your performance. However you have given me a problem young man, Oliver isn’t it? Your voice is totally unsuitable for the male chorus, but it is such a rich soprano that it would be ideal for you to join your friends in the female chorus.”

“I’m sorry, I’m confused, what does that mean?”

“To put it simply, you would act as one of the girls and join in with their singing and dancing. Of course you would have to dress and be made up just like the other girls, but to be honest, with your voice and slim build you would fit in perfectly”

The girls burst into giggles, as I blushed with embarrassment at the thought.

“No sorry, I can’t do that, I get enough teasing at school about my size and my voice, without people seeing me wearing a dress and dancing alongside the girls.”

“Come on Ollie, you sing with us all in the choir anyway and you are part of the group, don’t let a little thing like wearing a dress and makeup split you up from us, we’re The Triplets remember, we do things together.” Marie pleaded with me, rolling her puppy-dog eyes at me.

“I’ll feel stupid, nobody will believe I’m a girl and will recognise me as a boy in a dress.”

“Oh no they won’t,. As it is, without even trying, when we are all out together you are often taken for a girl and addressed as Miss, you’ve even been asked if you wanted to try on a dress I was looking at, the shop assistant said it was more your colour than mine. Your voice is almost the same as ours and when you are with us the way you talk and gesture just blends in with us “ Lynne snapped back at me.

“If I go along with you and this gets out at school my life will not be worth living, I often even get pushed out of the boys’ toilets and told to go next door to the girls’ where I belong. None of the boys will sit in class next to me, they all see me as a sissy and I always have to sit with the girls, although I am not complaining about that, most of them are ok with me and are pleasant company.”

“How about this Ollie? Come back with me to my house, I will find something for you to wear and sort you out, we’ll go to the café in the park at the other side of town where nobody knows us and see if anyone sees you as anything other than another one of us girls.” Lynne suggested

“But your mother will be at home, what if she sees me?”

“Don’t worry it will be choir practice at church and her, your mother, and the neighbours will all be there. It’ll be a laugh, don’t worry about it, pleeeeeease Ollie.”

Back at Lynne’s, I was soon stripped and standing there wearing just a pair of Lynne’s panties, and to be honest they fitted me quite snugly, as well as being small-framed I was not over-endowed in the boys’ department, and what little I had was hardly noticeable.

“Here’s one of my old training bras, it’s only padded to an A cup, it’s too small for me now that I have grown out a bit, but should be ok on your frame size.” Lynne smiled as she passed it to me. I struggled to put it on so she grabbed it pulled the straps over my shoulders and behind my back and clasped me in. “You need to be a bit bigger though. A couple of tissues will just fill you out a bit, us girls have all been there when we needed a bit of help, so don’t feel embarrassed.” she said as she added more padding and squeezed it into shape.

“It’s a warm afternoon so we’ll not bother with tights, so just hold your arms up and I’ll slip this summer dress over your head. We don’t bother with a lot of makeup, just let me do your lips and some eyeliner and we’re almost finished. Your hair is quite thick and almost collar length, but it’s not really long enough to do much with, let’s just brush it all back fix it in place with side-combs, pull down and shape a fringe, add one of my ponytail hairpieces and that is you as much of a girl as the pair of us. Have a look in the mirror and see what you think Livvy. We can’t call you Ollie looking like that, Livvy is much better.”

I did a double take when I stood in front of the mirror, waving my hands to make sure that it was really me looking back at me.”

“Are you happy with that, do you feel ready to go out?”

I was too dumbstruck to reply, so just nodded.

“Ok Livvy, slip on these shoes, let’s go girl, your world awaits you.”

Feeling totally uneasy I followed them as we made our way from the house to the bus stop.

“ Oh drat,” Lynne suddenly shrieked. “Marie and I picked up our bags, but forgot to get one for you Livvy, let’s rush back and get one, you can transfer your money, keys bits and pieces and bus pass into it.’

We were soon back and getting on the bus, flashing our passes at the driver, who never even looked closely to see the photo or name on mine .

“There you are Livvy you have talked to the driver, and walked up the crowded bus talking to us, nobody has screamed ‘is that a boy in a dress’, just relax, follow what we do and you’ll be fine.”

We had a pleasant afternoon strolling around in the park, sitting on a bench watching the birds on the lake. I soon relaxed accepting that as far as anyone else was concerned we were just three girls out for a walk in the summer evening sun, enjoying our time together.

“Right girls, I’m ready for a drink you sit in the sun outside this café and I’ll go in and get stuff, is cola and cake ok for you both?” They both looked surprised when I offered, expecting me to want to just keep out of sight as much as possible, but I needed to face up to talking to someone in public and was now feeling confident that I would just be accepted as who I appeared to be.

“You were a long time in there’re we were beginning to get worried for you, did you have problems?”

“Anything but, when I was rummaging in the bag you have given me for my money, Jayne, the young girl behind the counter, noticed that you had left some sanitary pads in there. She said she was just coming on and hadn’t brought any with her as she wasn’t due for a day or so and asked if I could give one to her. She asked me to mind the counter while she went to the loo to sort herself out, and I got involved serving a couple of customers. By the way the drinks and cake were free, she was so grateful for my help.”

“Wow, you do jump in with both feet, weren’t you embarrassed, talking about periods and pads, boys usually squirm and change the subject at any mention of them?”

“Why should I be? I’m wearing a dress, bra, panties and make up and am carrying sanitary items in my bag, how much more girly could I feel. Anyway, when I was looking in my bag, I noticed that as well as a couple of pads, you also slipped in a lipstick, mascara, an eye pencil and some tissues as well as my wallet and keys, you seem to have prepared me for anything, I wondered why you made such a fuss at the bus stop of going back to get it.”

“Livvy, you may have noticed that your dress does not have pockets, so you need a bag to keep all your bits and pieces in. Even when I am wearing trousers, nothing goes in the pockets, they are just ornamentation, you don’t want to spoil the fit by shoving things in them like boys do.The pads were left in there from last month, the rest of the stuff is just a few things I thought you might need.”

When we arrived back at Lynne’s her mother’s car was there so we couldn’t get in to get my clothes back.

“Come next door to mine, it doesn’t look like Mum is back yet, I’ll get changed and cleaned up before she arrives.”

However as we went in Mum called out, “Is that you Ollie, come in here quickly.”

I had two choices, either run upstairs leaving Lynne and Marie to keep Mum occupied until I was presentable again, or brazen it out and go in as I was. “Hurry up, you are on TV and you need to see this.” She shouted again.

I followed the girls into the room and she looked past me to see where I was.

“Hello girls, where’s Olly? Please introduce me to your friend while we are waiting for him.”

“Hello Mrs Sinclair. This is Livvy, although you would recognise her more easily if she wasn’t wearing a dress and makeup, she’s really Ollie.” Marie blurted out, too embarrassed and worried to think of a better story.

“We’ll deal with this later, the three of you are on the local news showing the auditions fo The Sound of Music and it says that you have all been selected to be cast members. That is brilliant, all the hard work you have put in for the school choir has now paid off, congratulations to you all. Sit down and I’ll wind it back to run it again.”

While our audition singing played in the background the reporter said that the director was surprised at the quality of the school choir and that several of us would be joining the cast for his show.

“Right girls, please tell me what you have done to my son and why, I know that you have all played together and been best friends for years, but I never realised that you had influenced him this much.”

“It’s not what you think Mum….” I started but she cut me off.

“Keep quiet Ollie, or should I call you Livvy for now, I want to hear it from Lynne and Marie.”

“Livvy’s right, it is not what it seems. Along with the others in the choir we were asked to audition for parts in the show, we sang together really well and the director was so impressed that he wanted all three of us in the show, but there was a problem.” Marie started before Lynne took over.

“The director thought that Ollie’s voice was wonderful, But wouldn’t fit in with the male chorus or characters, but that his rich soprano would fit right in with the female chorus and had one of the best natural voices in the whole group. He wants Ollie to perform as a female in a dress and makeup, singing and dancing with the rest of us girls.”

“Ollie thought it was a silly idea and that he would never be convincing as a girl, so to prove a point we got him to dress up and he became Livvy and have been out for the afternoon together. To be honest there was never any doubt that we were just three girls, the old ‘Triplets’ slightly modified. Livvy even went to the café counter for drinks chatting with the counter assistant and loaning her one of the sanitary pads in her bag. The girl just assumed Livvy was another girl prepared and ready for when her period arrived. With her high voice and talking to us all afternoon, her speech and mannerisms just screamed ‘girl’. If Livvy wants to, and if you will let her, she will be brilliant in the show. Who knows where it will lead, she has a wonderful voice and could go on to better things.”

“Hold on girls, you are scrambling my brain with all this talk of Livvy, her, she, and I can see how natural she looks and sounds - god you have even got me saying ‘she’ now - but I am not so sure that this is right, if his dad was still around he would be livid, and that is not a deliberate play on words of your name for her….him.”

“But Mum….”

“Be quiet Livvy…. Oliver! Girls go and see if your mothers are in and bring them around to here.”

Ten minutes later after Maggie and Becky, Lynne’s and Marie’s mothers, had settled in and been told the story of why I was dressed like a girl, Mum stood the three of us at the far end of the room.

“Right girls, and just this time I am including you in that Livvy, do your audition song for us I would like to hear how you all sound. Livvy, you take the lead of Maria, Lynne and Marie, you alternate the other voices.

Five minutes later there was a stony silence before the mothers all burst into big smiles and clapped.

“That was wonderful girls, you all have talent and beautiful voices, particularly you Livvy.” Becky was the first to respond. “ You just have to do the show !”

I know that I have heard you all in the school shows but your voices get lost amongst all the others, hearing just the three of you together was a revelation.” Maggie added.

“I couldn’t agree more but I am concerned about Ollie getting used to dressing as a girl and how it might affect him.”

“Mrs Sinclair, Ollie has played with Lynne and me as long as we can remember, we’ve enjoyed boys’ games with him and he has enjoyed girls’ games with us. It has broadened the outlook for all of us. Just because Ollie agreed to put on a dress to keep us quiet doesn’t mean that he wants to wear one all the time, it is just another one of our games together. This is a good opportunity for all of us, please don’t ruin it by not letting him play a little dress-up.” Marie quickly responded

Quickly looking over at Maggie and Becky, Mum came to a decision. “Ok let’s see how it goes, let’s go to The Grand for one of their cream teas, we are all reasonably tidily dressed, just a quick freshen up of our makeup and we’ll be all set to go.”

To be continued.

Tea out with my mum, Lynne , Marie, and their mums, all went rather well, despite me being really nervous and embarrassed when everyone looked over to us when we entered. However I was soon put at ease when the waitress took my order without any flicker of recognising me as a boy.

Quietly I was constantly being being corrected by one of my five coaches when I did anything in a remotely masculine manner, It was a never ending list of my faults, taking too large bites of the sandwiches and cakes, lifting my teacup with both hands instead of by the handle, not sweeping my dress under me as I sat down, not washing my hands when I came out of the toilet cubicle and not refreshing my lipstick when I was in there, to name a few. They all deliberately drew me into the conversations, asking my opinions on how people looked and were dressed, even though I did not know enough to have strong opinions about peoples’ appearance. It was not that they were particularly interested in my opinions, really they were just wanting to hear how I spoke and expressed myself.

I was glad to get out of the public gaze when we got home where I could relax again. It was generally accepted by all five that I had passed my first test, actually my second test including the afternoon out with the girls, and Lynne and Marie went off home with their mums.

“What are we going to do with you Ollie? What do you want to do, do you want to take part in the show? Before you answer, think it through. You will not be appearing as a caricature like a drag artist or a pantomime dame, all exaggerated padding and over the top makeup, you will be onstage as a young girl, looking, singing, dancing and acting just like any of the other girls in the show, and that is how you will need to present yourself. It will not just be turning up as Ollie, going into makeup and getting dressed to go on as Livvy or whatever character you will be playing. I’m sure you have heard of ‘method acting’ where you actually have to have a complete connection with the role you are playing, to all intents and purposes you would have to think of yourself as a girl and react as they would. To do the job justice, you need to get your mindset into that of a girl. Do you think that you can do that?”

“I’m not sure that I understand what you mean.” I replied, totally befuddled at what she had said.

“To put it bluntly, if you want to successfully pull this off you need to spend as much time as possible dressed as a girl, presenting yourself as a girl, spending a lot more time with Lynne and Marie as a girl. For the next few weeks when you are rehearsing for the show you need to think of yourself as a girl and act like your two friends and the other girls at school. Obviously school is a problem, I think it best if you still present as Ollie there. Are you prepared to go that far?”

“That sounds a bit over-the-top, let me think about it, I didn’t realise that it would involve a commitment like that, I thought that it would just be a matter of getting into costume at the theatre. Acting as a girl almost full-time is not something that I had planned to do, I just put on the girls’ clothes at practice to keep the girls in the choir happy, and Lynne and Marie convinced me to go out with them to see whether I could be convincing in public.”

“Well your clothes are still at Lynne’s, go and collect them and while you are there talk it through with her and see what she thinks.”

I made my way to Lynne’s collecting Marie on the way and we went up to her room. I told them everything Mum had said about emotionally connecting to my role as a girl and effectively becoming a girl, except at school, until the show was over.

“I think that I understand what she has said. Why not? That sounds like a sensible idea, the more you dress as a girl, the easier it will be to start behaving and thinking like us. You never know you might enjoy it, you seemed happy enough out with us today, it will give us a good excuse for the ‘Triplets’ to be back together again more often. What easier way is there for you to learn how to act and behave as a girl, than spending time with us. You can come round and we can do our homework together, go to the mall at the weekend to browse the shops and look at the boys, have sleepovers, I’m really looking forward to it, go for it girl, please.”

“So you really think that I should and that I could successfully look and act like a girl? I’ll give it a try as long as you both help me and do not make fun of me.”

“Well, if you’re going to do it, I’m going back home to get a few things.” Marie said as she got up to leave. “I’ve got lots of stuff that I don’t wear anymore that you can have, at least it will be getting some use rather than clogging up my wardrobe space.” and off she went returning later with two large bags. “There’s some skirts, tops and blouses, some trousers although it may be best if you keep to skirts and dresses until you get used to them, casual and dress shoes, a couple of coats, and a few unopened packs of knickers, bras and tights, they should keep you going for a while until we can go shopping for some stuff of your own. You can’t beat the feeling of wearing something new for the first time, it’s one of the real pleasures of being a girl.”

“That’s far too much, I’ll never get to wear most of it, are you sure that you don’t want it all?”

“Don’t be daft, a girl doesn’t wear clothes for days on end like boys do, you will need to have a selection for different times. I’ll see what I can dig out too.” added Lynne, “A girl can never have enough choice of clothes.”

When I got home laden with the bags of clothes they had picked out for me, Mum was astounded at the amount of things I had been given. “I take it that this means that Livvy is going to be around for a while.”

“I’m still a bit confused Mum, It sort of steamrollered, once the girls got going there was no way to stop them, and I just had to go along with them. I suppose that I had better go and make some room to get all this stuff put away.”

“Some of those things are a bit creased, anything that needs ironing put to one side and I’ll show you how to deal with them later. Don’t take too long I need you back down here, it’ll help to get you into a girly mode if you start helping your mother to prepare dinner. You don’t want to mess up your nice dress, so pick out something more practical, a skirt and top will be better.”

“Can I not just wear my normal clothes, after all it is just the two of us here?”

“If you are going to do this you need to start now, before you change your mind, Now do as you have been told, go and get changed into something suitable, you have more than enough to choose from.”

I was soon back down in the kitchen, having quickly changed into a floral stretch sleeveless top and blue mid-thigh skirt, nervously waited for Mum to comment on what I had chosen.

“Good choice Livvy, it suits you, I wish I still had the legs to wear skirts that short.”

“Don’t knock yourself Mum I’m always proud to go out anywhere with you, you’ve still got what it takes, you looked really nice when we were out earlier.”

“Good answer young lady, a woman always likes a compliment on her looks or the way she is dressed. I’m seasoning and then roasting some chicken fillets, get the salad container out, chop up some lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, sweetcorn, and red onions, toss it in a bowl with olive oil, and a little salt and pepper, then leave it to all blend together.” When I was done Mum already had the chicken in the oven, so it was just a matter of tidying up.

“Set the table dear, we’ll eat properly tonight at the dining table instead of on a tray in front of the TV, the tablecloth and napkins are in the second drawer from the bottom. If there is time run the vacuum over the carpet and tidy the dining room up, we haven’t used it for a while.”

“Livvy don’t bend right over like that to get in the low drawer, particularly when you are wearing such a short skirt,” Mum snapped at me “ I can see your knickers when the skirt rides up, bend at the knees, and keep your back straight. I can see that we are going to have to work on your posture and movement, you need to learn to be more graceful.”

Other than that we had a pleasant evening chatting away after dinner about life in general and the fact that she caught me out because choir practice was cancelled owing to the organist being unwell. That led to a report on all the ills and ailments of the other choir members, even ‘women’s problems’ that she didn’t normally mention to me. Usually I escaped to my room straight after the tv dinner and avoided such chat, but tonight she seemed to be in the mood to want to talk. As we chatted away I almost forgot about what I was wearing, except for constantly pulling down the hem of my skirt when it rode up too high.

“Ok Livvy dear, go and get yourself ready for bed, don’t forget to remove your makeup you don’t want to go to school tomorrow with eyeliner traces still there. Have the girls given you any cleanser and moisturiser?”

“To tell the truth I don’t know what half the stuff they put in my ‘beauty bag’ is for, I’m ok to find the cleanser, we can go through the rest of it another time.”

I cleaned my face stripped down my bra and panties before deciding to keep them on and slipped on a light sleep top and shorts Marie had given me, before going down to say goodnight to Mum.

“That’s nice Livvy, we’’ll have a good look at everything tomorrow, sleep tight dear, and don’t forget to take off your hairpiece, you’ll ruin it if you sleep with it on.” For the first time in a long while, she gave me a goodnight hug and kiss which helped to relax me and I soon dropped off to sleep.

In the morning I was up early, showered and dressed in my usual school clothes which seemed thick and heavy after the light summer dress and skirt and top I had worn yesterday, I didn’t remember my boys’ clothes being so bulky and they felt warm and uncomfortable.

“Oh hi Ollie,” the girls greeted me with looks of disappointment as we walked to the bus for school together, “we weren’t sure whether we would be seeing Ollie or Livvy today.”

“Look girls, I will do as much as I can, but dressing as a girl at school will only cause trouble.”

‘Spoilsport.”

I seemed to be the centre of gossip all morning at school, conversations stopped and people stared at me as I walked by groups, followed by giggles after I passed. Nobody actually said anything or did anything to me, but I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable. At lunchtime I picked out Lynne and Marie and told them what I was sensing and asked if they knew what’s going on.

“Clare, one of the girls in the choir heard what the show director said to you about taking on the part of one of the Von Trapp girls, and she was so jealous at not being picked herself that she started to tell people about it, and you know what the rumour mill is like in this place, it was soon all around the school. Everyone is saying that you’re going to become a girl.”

“That’s ridiculous, it’s just for the show. What a spiteful cow, and I’d always thought her to be so nice and friendly, wait until I see her.”

“Trust me, you are best letting sleeping dogs lie, anything you do in reply will not go down well and make things worse. Unless anyone actually says or does anything to you, just walk on by and ignore them all.”

The afternoon was more of the same, but I was now getting snide comments, mainly boys telling me that I needed to act the part of a girl better and a lot of sniggering and gossiping, even some sarcastic wolf-whistles. I was glad when the formal day was over and I went to the music room for choir practice, but the peace was soon shattered.

Before we got started, Clare, who had posted the conversation with the show director, approached our teacher.

“Please Miss Crawford, everyone is saying that Ollie is going to become a girl to act in the show we auditioned for. If it would help we think that he should dress as a girl when he is in here with us, I mean he sings like a girl, but it might help him if he looked like one too, after all he is now the only boy in with us, and we wouldn’t mind.” Clare suggested with a ‘butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth’ smirk on her face.

“Don’t be silly Clare, Ollie has a wonderful voice, don’t try to make him ashamed of it.” Miss Crawford quickly waved her away.

“But Miss a lot of us think it would be a good idea.” A couple of Clare’s friends added, and there were a lot of excited voices joining in.

The teacher was getting flustered not knowing what to do, so to help out I looked at Lynne and Marie who nodded back.

“Ok if that’s what the girls want I’ll do it we can then get started on our practice, It should be fun and will ease the tension, but obviously I don’t have any girls’ clothes.”

“That’s ok, we thought that you might agree so we’ve brought some stuff with us, go and get changed, your two friends can help you. The girls’ toilet is just a couple of doors away, just go in there, there will be nobody else around at this time of day.” Clare sniggered as I walked off with Lynne and Marie carrying the bag of clothes she had given me.

I went off with my friends and quickly stripped even changing into the bra and panties that had been provided before putting on the uniform blouse, skirt, and shoes. Lynne gave me a quick swipe of eyeliner and lipstick, brushed my hair into something vaguely resembling a girl’s style, and we were soon ready to return to face the rest of the choir.

“I feel weird, what are they going to think of me. I’ve felt embarrassed all day with people talking about me, what are they going to think when they find out they I’ve been wearing these clothes for choir practice.”

“Right Livvy, you got pushed into a corner by that bitch Clare, but you mustn’t let her see that she has upset you. Just go back in there and act like you always do, except for the fact that you are wearing a skirt.” Marie gripped my hand as she led me back into the room.

Although within myself I was really nervous about what the other girls would really think of me, I was determined not to let it show, so I walked back in chatting to the girls as if it was the most normal thing in the world, to be met with sharp intakes of breath followed by giggles all round.

“All right girls, you have had your fun, can we please get on with our practice now.” Miss Crawford quickly snapped to try to get some sort of control again.

After practice I collected my things, surprised that they hadn’t disappeared with Clare and her friends, but didn’t bother to change back. Although Clare had set out to embarrass me, in a way she was right, I did fit in with the other girls a lot better dressed in a skirt and after the initial shock for everyone, I had quickly been treated and looked on as just another one of the girls in the choir.

As we walked out, a couple of girls in the choir came over and apologised for what had happened and said that Clare had already put the story and some photos out on social media, but it was awfully brave of me and that they would spread the true facts of what had actually happened to counteract Clare’s lies that I had turned up for practice already dressed as a girl.

On the way home I told Lynne and Marie that as everyone would be half expecting it after Clare’s postings, and that I would be subjected to all sorts of abusive comments and jokes anyway, the next day I would be going to school as Livvy. Full of enthusiasm they promised to drop off a uniform skirt and blouse each to keep me going until I could get some more new blouses of my own. I told them that the rest of the stuff they had given me yesterday was more than enough for out-of-school wear, although they promised to dig out some more now that I was committed to dressing and living as a girl.

Mum was surprised, but pleasantly surprised, when I walked in wearing a a skirt and with makeup. “Did you have trouble at school today, they haven’t stolen or damaged your clothes have they?”

“No mum, some jealous spiteful bitch and her friends suggested that as I sing like a girl, better than most, that I should dress as one at choir practice to fit in more easily with them all, as everyone else is a girl, and I agreed to do it to keep the peace. Besides it was an excuse to keep myself immersed in my role as a girl, Once they all got over the shock of seeing me and how easily I now fitted in with them all the practice went well. As everyone had already seen me and told me that I looked quite good I didn’t see the point of changing back to come home. Besides, that cow Clare has put it out on social media that I enjoy dressing as a girl and mixing in with them all at choir practice, so what more was there to worry about. I’ll just go upstairs and change and come and help you make dinner and tell you all about it.”

I just put on the skirt I had used the day before but found a clean sleeveless top in a blue satiny material which felt quite cool and comfortable after the heavy boys’ uniform I had worn all day, fixed my hairpiece place freshened my lipstick and went back down.

“What can I do to help Mum?”

“It’s all organised dear. Just tidy up the kitchen after me and then go and do your homework, we can talk over dinner.”

“I’ll pop round to Lynne’s and help her with her science report, that’s one of my better subjects, she helps me with history and French which are not my favourites. I’ll be back in an hour or so for dinner.”

Lynne’s mum answered the door to me, gave me a long look and smiled. “How was your Mum when you walked in dressed as a girl again?”

“She was ok, no fuss, she just asked why I had changed my clothes and that was it, we seem to be getting on a lot better lately, maybe she finds it easier to talk to me when I look like a girl.”

“Lynne told me what happened at school, and that girl ought to be punished for pushing you into a corner like that, but at least it does not seem to have upset you. Lynne’s in her room, go on up and I’ll bring you some drinks.”

Lynne greeted me with a hug as she usually did with Marie, but I had never been included in that before.

“I like your outfit by the way, the colour of your top matches your eyes. Anyway, let's get this project report done and we can chat afterwards and sort you out a uniform.”

Back home later, enjoying a lovely lamb casserole.I told Mum all about the gossip and sniggers at school and the way that Clare had coaxed me into wearing the skirt so that she could post it online expecting me to be embarrassed.

“The girls have given me some old spare uniforms for tomorrow, I have decided that I will be going in in girls’ uniform and can give Clare her stuff back.”

“Isn’t it going to make it worse if you wear the girls’ uniform tomorrow and embarrass you even more?”

“No, it wouldn’t be worse than today. If I go in as Livvy, it will show them that I don’t care what they’re thinking, they might ease off once they get over the initial surprise.”

“In that case you need to do it properly, I was in town today and went to that big lingerie shop ‘Style Shapes” that you will never go in with me, always waiting outside as you say it’s not cool for boys to be seen in there. As you are going to dress as a girl until after the show, I’ve got you some gel breast forms and some body shaper panties to give you a bit more of a girlish figure, your clothes will sit better with them, Take your top and bra off while I go and get them and we can fix the forms on for you, they’ll be a lot better than stuffing tissues into that training bra,”

“Mum I didn’t realise that when you said fix the breast forms that you meant that literally and they would be stuck on, they feel funny, pulling on my chest.”

“I rummaged in your undies drawer and found a proper bra that Marie gave you, it should fit ok and give them a bit of support, you’ll soon get used to them, all us girls learn to live with them, although they sneak up on us rather than suddenly appearing. Once you get the bra on it will give a bit of support and should feel more comfortable. There that looks a lot better, put your top back on, then let's get the kitchen tidied up and we can sit and relax watching a film and chatting for a couple of hours before bedtime.” Before that let me work a little on your eyebrows, they are far too bushy for a girl. Don’t worry, I’ll not go too mad and thin them too much, just a light trim, it will make all the difference.

To be continued.

As I went to get changed for bed I realised that I didn’t have to sleep in my bra anymore, the breast forms really helped the sleep top sit better, although their movement felt a bit strange and I was a bit embarrassed as they wobbled a bit going down the stairs to see Mum to say goodnight.’

“I can see that you’ve taken your bra off, that’s good, none of us keep them on in bed unless we’re planning an amorous night.” Seeing me redden, she added “Livvy if you are going to continue with this you have to realise that women and girls talk about their bodies and their feelings a lot more than men do, it all really starts when we have our first periods, and then there are all the complications of pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and the regular checks for cervical and breast cancer, we tend to share our experiences with each other. Once the girls at school get used to you I’m sure that they will forget who you are and talk freely in front of you, so get used to it, and don’t be frightened to talk about such things, it’s a normal part of a girl growing up into a woman.”

I tossed and turned for a while, thinking about what she had said before falling asleep dreaming of what my life would be like if I did grow up to be a woman.

Wearing my new uniform with my hairpiece in place and having applied my lippy and eyeliner, and wearing a comfortable pair of shoes with a 2” block heel like Marie and Lynn normally wore, I had a light breakfast kissed my mum goodbye and went out to meet the girls to go to school.

“Hi Livvy, you’re looking good today, let’s get to school and sock it to all those gossips and sniggerers. Your classes this morning are all with at least one of us, so we’ll ride shotgun to keep the nasties away.”

On he way into school no-one even recognised me, in their hurry to get to classes or engrossed in their smart-phones or gossip I was just seen as another girl chatting with Lynne and Marie as we walked in, but it did cause a bit of a stir when I went into my first class.

“Oliver, what is the meaning of this?” Snapped my science teacher as I walked in, shouting at the others to calm down and sit quietly at their desks.

“It’s Olivia or Livvy if you prefer. Yesterday Miss Rutherford agreed with the girls in the choir that as I sing like a girl, I might fit in better dressed as one. As most of you think I speak and act like a girl, I thought that should apply to my other lessons too. May I sit down and let you get on with your lesson?” I made an exaggerated sweep of my skirt as I sat down shook my head to flick the ponytail to prove the point that I was now to be seen as a girl The class was in hysterics, but the teacher sharply calmed things down and continued as if nothing had happened,

At the end of the lesson on the way to our next class, a few of the girls approached me. “We like your new look Livvy, we really admire what you have done it must have taken a lot of nerve. If you have any trouble particularly from the boys, let us know and we’ll put then in their place, after all us girls have to stick together.”

Word soon got around the school and for the rest of the lessons none of the teachers made any remarks and when asking me questions all referred to me as Livvy, there had obviously been a discussion in the staff room and an agreement reached not to make a fuss. I did have to suffer the childish idiots flicking the hem of my skirt from behind or snapping my bra straps on my shoulders when in the corridor between classes, but I had been warned about that as something most of the girls suffered at one time or another, it made me slightly ashamed to have noticed this before, giggled with the other boys and not said anything.

“Well that wasn’t too bad was it Livvy.” Marie said to me as we walked home. The gossip around is that you make a super girl, you look like the rest of us, better than most, sound like us and are even beginning to act like us. Unless I’m mistaken you now have proper breasts, they bounce. when you walk just like ours. Give it a few days and you will be yesterday’s news, and nobody will take any notice of you, you’ll just be another one of the girls.”

“That reminds me what are you going to do tomorrow?” Asked Lynne

“”I’m sorry, I’m not with you.”

“Have you forgotten, it’s games in the morning, are you going to join us for a game of hockey, or go and play rugby with the boys, although I wouldn’t recommend that.” She replied with a big grin.

“I hadn’t thought about that, I suppose that I will just opt out and say that I am not feeling well.“

“When we want to opt out we blame it on period pains, but you can’t really use that as an excuse, although most of the girls would sympathise with you if you did try it. Come and join us for hockey it should be fun.”

“I can’t really, what will the other girls think.Anyway I haven’t got girls’ sports kit, and where would I get changed, I can’t use the boys’ room and I’m sure that the girls would not like me in there with you all getting undressed.”

“The kit is no problem we can sort something out for you, and as for changing and joining in with us, leave that with us to sort out. Now go and get changed and come round to mine, the three of us can do our homework together.

“Hi Mum I’m home.’

‘How was your day dear, did you get any more trouble?”

“Not really, after the first hour or so things calmed down and I was just another one of the girls. I’m going round to Marie’s with Lynne to do our homework, we work better together and help each other out.”

After changing into a green tartan mini skirt and white broderie anglaise top I joined the others and we quickly finished our work and gossiped for a while.

“Come on Livvy, we are dying to see how you suddenly developed your breasts, take off your top and let’s have a look. Wow, I wasn’t expecting that, they are fixed on you, do they stay there all the time.”

“Of course, just like yours, I am getting used to them, but they felt a bit weird at first and keeping with them on in bed under the sleep set took a bit of getting used to.”

“You’re definitely going to have to play hockey with us tomorrow, if you went in with the boys looking like that you’d be lucky to get out alive.”

After the girls had got over the surprise, I got dressed again, said my goodbyes and went back home before I making my way back home.

“Right Mum what can I do?

“I’ve nothing done for dinner yet, how does spaghetti bolognese and ciabatta sound to you?”

“One of my favourites.”

“Put on an apron we don’t want to get your new clothes all covered in flour or sauce, you’ve always enjoyed eating it, I’ll show you how it’s done and next time you can treat me by doing it yourself.”

I was surprised how easy it all was with mum constantly advising me as we chatted away, and regretted not having offered to help and learn before. The bread dough was soon in the oven, cooking away, and we started mixing the sauce in the blender and browning some mince. I was glad Mum had suggested wearing an apron, by the time we were finished there was a film of flour dust on it and some tomato sauce splashes.

“Just put the apron in a basin to soak, tomato sauce is a devil to get out once it has dried in. That reminds me, I put those clothes those nasty girls gave you yesterday in the washer, they were a disgrace, stains all over the blouse and the skirt has seen better days, it’s all fraying at the hem, and the waist button is hanging loose. They are on the line outside, bring them in and fold them neatly you can take them back tomorrow.”

I was beginning to enjoy the time I was now spending with Mum instead of going off to my room and playing games on my computer, I felt that I learned more about her in the least few days than in all the years she had been raising me. I think she was glad to have someone to talk to, I hadn’t really been much company for her before.

I was up early in the morning having worried about what to do about for the hockey session, went down to the kitchen, put on the coffee machine, did some toast , prepared a bowl of cereal and fruit and took Mum breakfast in bed.

“Thanks Livvy love, that is a first, maybe I should have had a daughter sooner.”

I was soon dressed, and met up with the girls. “Before we go have you decided what to do about hockey. I’ve put a spare set of kit in my bag for you if you want it, otherwise I’ll drop it back in the house.” Lynne asked.

“Unless any of the girls or the teachers object, I’d love to join you, but there is still the problem of where to change.”

“Don’t worry we’ll sort that out.”

After morning registration we made our way down to the sports hall, with the other girls in our class. When they all went in to change Lynne held me back while Marie followed the others, coming back a few minutes later, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the changing room.

“Right girls, you all now know Livvy, as agreed as long as she is in here, you will all just treat her as another girl and she will not do anything to embarrass you. Anyway I’m sure that you will soon find out that she is not that much different to the rest of us.”

There was a bit of a gasp as I unbuttoned and took of my blouse showing the bra I was wearing and my realistic looking breasts. Lynne handed me a sports bra. “Trust me, you’ll be more comfortable running around wearing this, besides you don’t want to walk round in a smelly sweaty bra all day,” It caused even more gasps of surprise and giggles from all the other girls when I took off my bra to change and the forms stayed firmly in place.

“Are you sure that this sports skirt is the right size, when I am running around my knickers will be on display.”

“Just like the rest of us Livvy, it’s just part of being a girl, get used to it.”

I enjoyed the game, it was competitive, but not as aggressive as the games with the boys, it was a lot of fun and the girls were all coaching and encouraging me as the game was played, getting me involved in many of the moves.

“Livvy, I take it that like a lot of the boys you are not used to having a good shower after games and haven’t brought any decent soaps or body wash with you, borrow mine and go in the cubicle and have a good wash, and don’t forget to wrap your towel around your chest not your waist when you are dried off and come out to get dressed.

I had put on my knickers before leaving the cubicle, clean but smelling like a florist’s shop from the scented soaps, and had no qualms dropping the towel and putting on my bra in front of the others, just as they were all doing, despite a few pairs of inquisitive eyes. There was a queue for the mirrors as we all redid our lippy and liner, but I was soon presentable, dressed and ready for the rest of the day. Most of the girls asked if I would be back next week, having seen me virtually naked, they had no worries about me being in there with them.

In the canteen after we had finished out meal. I saw Clare a few tables away, went to my locker to pick up the parcel of her clothes, went back and dumped it on the table in front of her.

“You’d better have these back, they were not fit to wear, the blouse was stained and smelly and the skirt needs a bit of attention, the hem is all frayed and you need to learn how to sew buttons on properly. They have been washed and pressed and are now half decent, but I suggest that you throw them away unless you want to look like a homeless tramp or the messy lazy slut that most of us think you are anyway.”

“You cheeky pervert.” She screamed jumping up to have a go at me, but I just stood my ground and calmly answered her back “But then you are a jealous spiteful tramp and maybe the clothes will suit you.” I turned away and walked back to my table with the girls, to a chorus of whoops laughter cheers and clapping.

“Wow Livvy you really put her in her place, and you said it all just like any other girl would, making her feel small without being too insulting or aggressive, and from the noise when you walked back I think that you have found a few more fans.’ gushed Lorraine another of my classmates. “You did well this morning at games, are you joining us this afternoon for Home Economics, it’’s in the kitchens this session.” .

“Why not? The IT course I normally do is almost finished and my grades are good enough to miss the last few lessons. I’ve been helping Mum make dinner at home recently so a bit of extra tuition will be useful.”

Lynne rushed on ahead as I drifted along with the other girls to the kitchens and came back to meet me.

“I’ve had a word with Miss Rutherford who does cooking classes well as music, She is really sorry about how you were treated at choir practice and is happy for you to join her class today.”

“Good afternoon girls you are going to make a meal to take home with you to save your mums cooking for a change. There will be a Quiche Lorraine as a main course with Pear Tartin for dessert. Normally I would expect you to make the puff pastry for the Tartin, but you’e all done that before so we’ll keep it simpler and quicker and use shop-bought, which most chefs recommend now anyway, which you will most likely use if you do this again at home. The short pastry for the quiche is so easy that I want you to make that yourselves. The recipe cards are on the benches, so put on your aprons and your headscarves and let’s get started. While we were all doing ours, Miss Rutherford made two of each as samples for us to try, as we would be taking ours home. I was not as used to all the techniques for rolling out the pastry and making the sauces for the fillings as the others were, but Wendy and Helen on either side of me were happy to give a bit of help and advice when I was struggling.

Towards the end of the lesson when the tartin and the quiche came out of the oven I was surprised at how well they had turned out, Mum was going be delighted that I had made dinner for a change.

“Ok girls, pack up your baking in the bags and boxes and get this place tidied up, and then you can get off home to show the family what you have done. I suggest that you serve the quiche with a side salad and the tartin with a dollop of whipped cream, but that is a matter for your personal taste. Livvy would you stay behind for a few minutes please?”

Marie and Lynne went on ahead with the others as I stayed at my workstation wondering what Miss Rutherford wanted.

‘Livvy you did really well today for your first lesson with us and you just blended in with the other girls. I apologise for what happened the other day, I should have stopped Clare the minute she started. However, despite the fact that she was so pushy and rude, she did have a point.You have fitted in with the girls so well, and I heard about the changing rooms this morning, to be honest it is hard to see you as anything other than the girl you appear to be, and that is how everyone is treating you, the girls at least. However do not think that you have to do this. I have been asked to tell you that if you want to continue as a girl, that is not a problem for the school and staff, but if you want to go back to being Ollie, that is fine too.”

“Thank you Miss Rutherford, I will be living as a girl at least until after ‘The Sound of Music’ is over, if I am to be seen on stage as another one of the girls I need to spend as much time as possible living the part.”

“Fair enough Livvy, I’ll let the rest of the staff know, now get off home and show your mum that you can help her in the kitchen.”

I was soon home, showing Mum what we had for dinner and she was so pleased and proud.

I’ll get changed and go to do my homework with the girls, I’ll do the salad when I come back you just relax.

When I met up with the girls, they were not too keen on starting our homework.

“We can leave that until later. We’ve not really had time for a private talk today.” Lynne explained. “Most of the girls were amazed when you stripped off to change today, even us although we had seen you yesterday. We still can’t believe how realistic you look, can we have another look and a touch to see what they feel like?”

‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” I replied cheekily, but they didn’t hesitate and quickly whipped off their tops and bras, saying “Why not, we are all girls together, well almost.” and I had to follow suit.

“They’re pretty realistic, not quite the genuine article when you see them exposed like that, but they wobble around like ours and in a bra it’s hard to tell. Do a shimmy and let's see them really move.”

“That’s enough, we got together to do our homework, let’s get started.” I said as we all got dressed again.

I was soon home. Preparing the tossed salad to go with the quiche, while Mum relaxed in front of the tv with a glass of wine. As was now normal for us we sat at the dining table for our meal, it was a better atmosphere than a tray in front of the TV.

“That was all so delicious Livvy and there is even some left for tomorrow, you’ll have to make it again sometime, I could get used to having a helper around the house, let’s get the kitchen cleaned up and we can settle down for the rest of the evening.

To be continued.

At choir practice the next day Clare was missing, but her two friends came over to me before we started and apologised for helping her to try to humiliate me. They told me that she was transferring to another school to get away from all the nasty comments she had received after I confronted her in the canteen. It was not something that I had wished for, but I was not sorry to see her go.

“You are doing so well and working together beautifully, I have entered you all into a competition for schools across the whole county.” Miss Rutherford told us before we started singing . We have been allocated a new piece that you have never sung before, so let’s get practising.”

That caused lot of excited chatter which Miss Rutherford let us all get out of our system before she rapped on the desk to get our attention.

“Calm. Down girls, we have a lot of work to do before the competition. One other thing before we start, I don’t want you performing at the competition in the school uniform, you will probably be the youngest choir taking part, and I want you to look more mature and experienced.I’ve chosen an outfit for you all, cyan satin blouses and royal-blue full length skirts. You are all in one of my home economics classes so over the next week that will be your project, making the skirts unless you already have one. I’ll provide the material for you to work with, give me your sizes and the school will provide the blouses.”

When I got home I excitedly told Mum all about the competition and what I would have to do to prepare for it.

“A straight skirt doesn’t sound too challenging, just a couple of seams, a bit of hemming, a gather for the waist and a zip.” Mum encouraged me.

“That is a foreign language to me, I have no idea what you are talking about or how to do it.” I had become accustomed to wearing skirts but making one was totally another level.

“Well you have a week to learn my girl, I’ll get out my old machine that I haven’t used for ages and I’ll show you how to use it, but before all that you need a lesson in the basic stitches, what they look like and what they are used for. I’ll get out my sewing box after dinner and show you how to do them by hand.” I had never really thought about how my clothes were made and held together, but after a couple of hours, having been taught about the different needle sizes and thread grades, and with lots of practice , I was able to do the basic stitches reasonably well, at least on material offcuts, leaving the easier option of her sewing machine for another time.

Life as Livvy was becoming second-nature to me, I didn’t consciously think about getting dressed and doing my make up and hair or mixing with the others at school joining in with the girls in the games period and in the HE classes. I was no longer the centre of attention and gossip at school, I was just one of the many girls there and generally went unnoticed.

Over the next week, after more tuition from Mum using a machine and a couple of sessions in the HE craft room, I had made myself a quite passable skirt which fitted my well-padded shape quite snugly. I felt quite proud of my first outings with a sewing machine.

“You’ve done a good job Livvy, not professional standard, but as good as I would have done, you are a quick learner.” Mum told me when I took the skirt home to show her “It has actually got me back in the mood to start sewing again, it’s a long time since I’ve done anything serious, but I have a bit more time to spare now that you are helping me around the house. I know that quilt cover and pillow sets are not too expensive, but it’s not the same as knowing you have made them yourself and we need some new ones, will you give me a hand with them?”

Of course, once I got over the basics of how to use the machine, it was quite easy, and in some ways relaxing and satisfying. knowing that I was looking at something that I have made myself. It was something that Mum and I could do together as a practical hobby.

Meanwhile rehearsals had started for The Sound of Music and I had been given the role of Liesl, the von Trapp’s eldest daughter which meant that as well as singing the choruses with the rest of the family children, I also had some solos, so along with those rehearsals, school choir practice, helping Mum with her sewing and general school work I was leading a very full busy life.

On he day of the concert competition, with my skirt and blouse over my arm in a wardrobe hanging bag, I joined a gaggle of over excited girls as we boarded the coach taking us to the venue, having a last run through our chosen piece as we travelled.

“Young ladies, and that’s what you are today I’m not calling you girls, you all have your costumes to change into at the venue. You are the youngest choir competing today so I want you to ooze maturity and experience for the judges. Although at school you are only allowed basic makeup, today I want you in full evening glamour style. Most of you already know all about that or think you do, but please go easy on the eyeliner and mascara, I don’t want to see ‘panda eyes’, ok? Those of you that need a bit of help just ask me or one of the other girls.” Miss Rutherford gave us a final pep talk.

I had never been in full makeup so Marie and Lynne worked on me with all sorts foundations, blushers, eye shadows and mascara, lip liner and powder brushes, I didn’t know half of what they were doing, but when I saw the end result I was amazed, I looked so glamorous and grown-up, even more so when I changed into my skirt and blouse, which was cut quite low showing off my cleavage.

We soon arrived and got changed into our performance outfits and Miss Rutherford took lots of group and individual photos of us all before we went out onto the stage.We nervously lined up and took deep breaths as the introductory music started up, before bursting into our song.In front of a large audience, of other choirs, teachers, some parents, and some interested supporters we gave our performance including some solo sections from me. It all went off without a hitch, but we were relieved and glad when it was all over and intensely listened to the other contenders and eagerly awaited the result. As the judges announced the winners in reverse order we were disappointed that we were not placed third or second, but were ecstatic when we were named as the winners, After group hugs all round we trooped up onto the stage, along with Miss Rutherford, to collect our award and give a reprise of our performance. There was a party atmosphere on the coach home, with us all still dressed in our performance outfits and full makeup even though we were not allowed anything alcoholic we were all excited on an adrenaline high.

Mum was flabbergasted when she saw me all dressed up and insisted on taking a lot of photos of me on my own and her and me together, she was so proud and almost as excited as I was.

“You are looking so grown up with that makeup, go and put on a decent dress, I’ll get changed and put on evening makeup and we will go out for a celebration meal together.”

“Can we invite Marie and Lynne and their mums to join us, I’m sure that they will feel like celebrating too?”

I chose a lovely calf length silk-effect cerise dress that Lynne had given me, and quickly redid my nails and eyelids in matching colours, and was soon downstairs when Mum joined me.

“Oh mum, you look gorgeous, I can’t remember you dressing so attractively for ages, you should do it more often, being yourself rather than my mum.”

“It’s not often that I get the opportunity to make the effort, but you’re right, I should try more often. I couldn’t be outshone by my gorgeous daughter could I?”

The girls and their mums had really made an effort too, and a lot of heads turned when we were shown to our seats in the restaurant. We had a truly wonderful meal getting a lot of attention from the waiters and our mums even let us girls have a small glass of wine to join them, making the three of us, me included, feel like young women rather than girls.

Later when I was getting cleaned up ready for bed, Mum came in with a gift bag for me.

“You looked so adorable today and so grown up, I bought you a proper nightdress rather than those sleep sets and light cotton shifts you have been wearing, do you want to try it on?”

I eagerly opened the bag and pulled out a full length ivory silk spaghetti strapped nightdress and held it up against me.

“Go on then, put it on, let’s see how it fits.”

I quickly took off my dress and bra, slipping the nightdress over my head and smoothing it down, giving a twirl before giving mum a big hug.

“Thank you so much Mum, it’s gorgeous, can I keep it on?’

“That’s what it for Livvy dear, although I never thought that I would be buying something like that for you, it really suits you. Finish cleaning off your face and get to your bed, it’s been a full and exciting day for you, I hope that you can sleep.”

We repeated the competition performance in front of the whole school the next morning wearing our performance outfits but, much to the disappointment of a lot of the girls, restricted to basic makeup that we were normally allowed at school. We kept on the outfits for the rest of the day, and everywhere I went people were coming up to me telling me how wonderful my voice was, and how amazing it was that I could hit the really high notes.

Over the next few weeks life at school settled into a routine. I was now totally accepted and even popular after helping to win the contest and taking Clare down a peg or two. I soon settled in with the girls at hockey and home economics, actually enjoying them a lot more than the equivalent boys’ activities I had previously followed.

It was almost time for The Sound of Music to open and we were in the final stages of rehearsals including a full dress rehearsal. Although I was now looking and acting unmistakably as a girl it was felt that my hair was still too short for the part of Liesl and it was arranged for me to visit a salon to have extensions woven in to make it a more appropriate shoulder length. It took some getting used to, particularly the more intensive hair care routine, fixing it up each night so that it did not get too tangled and untidy and learning the delights, or otherwise, of overnight rollers and curling wands, but between my mum, Lynne and Marie, I soon learned the tricks to follow.

The first night performance went well despite a few nerves and hiccups which generally went unnoticed by the audience.The show was enthusiastically received and I got wonderful personal reviews by the critics from the local papers, describing my singing as like the voice of an angel which with a bit of formal coaching could even lead to a successful career as an operatic soprano. As the days went on the performance became more relaxed and polished, but there was a disaster at the end. Going home the night before the final show ‘Maria’ was injured in a car accident and I was asked to take over the role, with Lynne taking my place as Liesl. I spent the whole of the day going over again and again a video that had been recorded earlier in the week learning the lines, the songs and the dance movements. I was not really ready to perform, but as they say, ‘The show must go on’ and I didn’t have much choice.

I waited nervously in the wings while ‘The Nuns’ opened the show with ‘Preludium’, the backdrop was changed from the nunnery to the mountain scene and I walked confidently onto the stage bursting into the title song to thunderous applause as it had been announced that I had taken over the part for the final night at very short notice. My general performance was as good as could be expected in the circumstances but I was told that my singing was perfect, and that really was what the show was all about. As tradition I was presented with an enormous bouquet accompanied by a kiss on the cheek by ‘Captain von Trapp’ after the reprise and final curtain call, which delighted Mum when I gave it to her later at home.

‘Well that all that over now Livvy, does this mean that I will be losing my new daughter and getting my son Ollie back, I’ve got used to having you around and spending more time with me.”

“Let’s not make any rush decisions Mum, it will be a shame to waste all the money time and effort that has been spent on transforming me into Livvy. Besides, I still have a lot of clothes that I haven’t even worn yet, and I am really enjoying my life much more than before, Marie and Lynne have become really close dear friends who care for me. All in all I think Livvy will be around for some time yet.”

For the rest of the summer and back at school in the Autumn, Livvy was still around, becoming more feminine in looks and appearance as I spent more and more time and experiences with my friends Lynne and Marie. I was now totally accepted as a girl and nobody thought of me as Oliver anymore, then disaster struck.

I woke one morning with a sore throat and a hoarse voice, thinking that I had caught an early season cold or flu bug. With cough linctus and tablets the sore throat soon disappeared, but the hoarse voice still remained and would not go away. A visit to the doctor’s confirmed what my mother had suspected, nature had finally caught up with me and my voice had finally broken.

When my voice had stabilised it lay somewhere around the tenor/baritone range, but the purity and quality of the singing voice was no longer there and I reluctantly dropped out of the choir and the stage musicals theatre group. Even more significant was that my natural speech voice had dropped to a more husky boyish tone, which no matter how hard I tried I could not make vaguely feminine-sounding, with my appearance as a girl with the voice of a boy often leading to confusion and strange looks.

“Livvy, are you now going to stay as a girl as you appear to be, or do you want to go back to being a boy to match your voice?” Lynne asked me one day.

“I don’t know what I want to do, to be honest. I have really enjoyed my life recently and feel very comfortable living as a girl, alongside you and Marie, but I have been embarrassed a few times with peoples’ reactions to me and the mismatch between my looks and my voice. I need to talk it through with my mum, we have been getting on so well lately, much better with me as Livvy rather than Oliver, and I don’t want to upset that closer relationship.”

“Whatever you decide, Marie and I will always be your best friends and you will be welcome to spend as much time as you wish with us, as Ollie or Livvy. It doesn’t change anything, you are the same person no matter what clothes you wear.”

After discussions with mum it was decided that life might be easier if I went back to being Oliver. It was clear that I couldn’t continue in the half-way house and I was sure that I didn’t desperately want to go through the medical and surgical transition process to be completely female. After a lot of reading online of the life stories of people that had transitioned, some very successfully and happily, but others with regrets and uncertainty as to whether they had made the right decision, we decided that Oliver would return.

It caused a bit of confusion and embarrassment when I returned to school as Oliver. Most people were unsure as to how to treat me, but most of my friends and classmates, particularly Lynne, Marie, and other girls were happy to accept me as Oliver again. The main problem was with the boys in my classes. Some were openly hostile and sarcastic and sneering calling me all sorts of names, most were just wary and didn’t want to be thought of as too friendly with me in case they would suffer suggestions that they were gay like everyone assumed that I was. Even I had struggles and confusion with the change, I had in a short time gone from being one of the heroines of the competition-winning choir to being someone to be avoided or treated with wariness, particularly in the boys’ sports changing rooms.

The rest of my time at school was not the happiest, everyone knew that I had been living as Livvy and soon other than Lynne and Marie and a few others I was a social outcast, neither the girls or the boys really accepted me as on of them. After taking my exams at 16, I transferred from the school to a sixth-form college on the other side of town where nobody knew me and my life became a lot more comfortable again. I was so disappointed that after my voice settled down all the richness and quality had gone, and even as a baritone it was not good enough to perform in a choir or on stage.

During the next few years at the college and later at university, I had to accept that my time as Livvy was over and put it all behind me, except for a few fancy-dress or costume parties where everyone knew that I was a man in a dress, over the top camping it up, totally different to my time as Livvy living as a normal schoolgirl.

Some years later after we had been to university and settled into our careers, Lynne and I started dating as boyfriend/girlfriend, even going out sometimes as girlfriend/girlfriend, she was happy to accept me as Livvy again occasionally. I started singing again and she and I often performed at the local folk club and open-mic nights where the songs and the involvement of the audience were more important than the purity of the voice. It felt so good to enjoy singing again but in a much more relaxed atmosphere.

Eventually Lynne and I were married, with Marie acting as chief bridesmaid, and we started a family with twins, a boy, Lee, and a girl, Cameron. My time as Livvy had helped me understand the joys and problems that girls and women experience, and getting a different view of the world around me, making me a more rounded and understanding person. We were hoping that maybe Lee and Cammie could share some of each others experiences as they grew up and developed their own life skills, and that they would also benefit from seeing life from a different viewpoint, just like I had done with Lynne and Marie.

The end.