A Sister 'til Christmas 2
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Hi, just suddenly realized how close this Christmas thing is a coming... Phew, I better get moving... I hope YOU like it...

***

'Listen to me baby
Listen to my plea
I'm in the middle of nowhere
And it's worrying me'

The next day was when the visits ended. For the cold lonely week after that, I waited for the bell to ring, I looked out the windows, playing with my hair, spying on my reflection. Sara knew what I was doing but she never said anything, she was ready to move on to something else, she wanted to go out to the town together, but I was ready to cry.

I was wishing I paid more attention, wishing I started to chat, held his hand, begged him to stay. I wanted to feel his jacket, smell his aftershave, rub his rough chin, but I didn't, I was too nervous, too shy. I let the silent tears fall down my cheeks but I wouldn't turn around and look at Sara, I wouldn't leave my reflection, I think my heart was broken.

I heard her get closer, felt her breath on my neck. "I'm goin' crazy we have to start going somewhere at night, c'mon don't you want to show off that dress, those heels? Don't you want to show off our boobs?"

I turned around, she was actually wearing a low-cut sweater, she was actually showing the tops of her small breasts. "I do, but um, you go, I'll stay home, I'll do the laundry tonight and you can visit Rachel again."

Rachel was a woman she met sometime over the summer in Historic, Smithville, four miles away from here. Sara was getting bored living in the middle of nowhere, but not me, I was still loving it, even though I was missing my mystery man. I would spend all morning exercising, organizing my new dresses, heels, makeup. I would get deliveries almost every other day. More outfits, brushes, nail polish remover. I finally had everything I needed, everything I wanted, life was almost perfect, and my room was finally a sixteen-year-old beauty queen's wet dream.

She let out a loud breath. "When you are Sam you are so easy, everything is about me, but as Sabrina, it is all about you. Shit, just come with me, I want to take you to Rachel's restaurant, I want to introduce you to everybody."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I'm ready to go out. I don't want to meet everybody."

"Ugh!" She was angry, the holidays weren't as much fun as she hoped. I felt I was becoming more like her, I was becoming introverted, I wanted to be alone. Now she was becoming more like me, well my other self. I was always looking for a loud party, a crowd, a new restaurant. I guess being surrounded by trees, in the middle of nowhere meant changes... for both of us.

She took the car keys, she slammed the front door, she was gone and I was back in my room, drinking something to keep me warm. I wanted to try something new with my eyes, my lips. I wanted to order more nightgowns and slips, I wanted to enjoy my femme life until Christmas. I wanted to forget Sara was disappointed with me, again.

Once she got to Ruffino's she must have felt better, I was sent pictures; The front of the restaurant with the Christmas lights, the inside with decorations and her new friends. I also got shots of her pasta, their drinks, their desserts. Now I felt bad for not going out, but I didn't think I could, I would be too uncomfortable. I knew I would have loved to of shown off how feminine I had become, how perfect my dress and body were, but I wasn't ready. I knew she would tell everyone about me, she would make me anxious, she would tell everyone about my Double-D breasts. I'm sure she was telling everyone about them right now.

Ding Dong.

*

It had been five long days, five days without a man, a rose. Now he was here, he was holding a red one this time, he was smiling at me while I played with the hem of another thin brownish lace dress, as I looked down at his knees.

"I was hoping you were going to come to my restaurant tonight, I couldn't wait to see you." He handed me the rose.

I lifted it to my lips again, I loved the feel of it on my sticky gloss, I loved the scent making its way to my senses. "Thank you." I didn't have the confidence to ask any more questions.

"I was talking to Sara and Rachel, they suggested that we have an early dinner together before the restaurant opens. It will just be us."

I was feeling myself get nervous again, the excitement inside of me slipped away. "Sara and Rachel?"

He smiled. "You have a beautiful voice."

"Do I?"

"Ha, you do." He started walking around me, looking at me, my legs, my dress. He put his hand on my arm. "Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow? It will be nice and quiet, I can pick you up at three?"

"They really suggested it?"

"Kind of, they wanted to have Rachel's husband join us, the five of us, maybe six, but I thought it would be better with the just us two. You can get used to going out." He smiled, he watched me smile back. "It will be nice having dinner with a beautiful woman."

I froze. He was now going to pick me up at three, I was too excited to chat or show him my collection of roses.

When he left, I wished I felt his rough cheek.

***

'I'm going to wear black." I was leaving my room, Sara was futzing, cleaning, and putting up more reindeer decorations in the kitchen, she wasn't paying attention to me, she was paying attention to Rudolph.

"Yeah, so."

I walked out and showed her my outfit. It was a three-quarter-sleeved sweater dress, tight, very tight, and very short. The hem came halfway between my knees and my panties, I left the vagina ones in my drawer. I was wearing expensive nude pantyhose, I was sliding on the tiles.

"For lunch at Ruffino's."

She stopped cleaning, she looked at me, "Wait you're going out to Ruffino's? Today?"

"Yes today at three, the man with the roses came over last night and invited me, he said it was your's and Rachel's idea."

"Ross came by last night, why didn't you tell me?"

I was now feeling defensive, I felt like she was getting annoyed again. "I was sleeping when you got home, plus I thought you knew."

"We talked about it, but I didn't know it was happening today. He didn't say he was coming over to the house last night when he was leaving." She huffed, went back to her decorations, I went back into my room. I closed the door, I would try not to talk about it until Ross came to pick me up.

I was looking in the mirror, putting on my lashes, "Ross?" I now had a name, a strong name, a name for a man. I finished my eyes, my mascara, my rose-colored shadow. "Hi, Ross, nice to see you again." I was practicing as I brushed and darkened my eyebrows, outline, and filled in my lips. More rose, more color. "Thank you I got them on sale. 70% off. Practically stole them, ha." I said as I slipped on my heels, four-inch pumps, and shiny silver.

"I know you will like my new color."

After he left last night I painted my toes a dark pink, darker than my lips, I sat and got ready to do my fingernails. Painting my nails would relax me, it took me so long but it was so worth it. First I took off the old color with cotton pads and Q-tips. Slowly I took off the top of the bottle with the brush. I always started on my thumb and worked my way around. I had a UV LED nail lamp and I let them dry, I watched, I loved this. Sara said it was silly and unneeded, but I just loved it. I enjoyed the way my hands rested on the vanity, glowed from the purple light, made my small hands look so feminine. The lamp was something only a woman would own.

When I was younger, living with my parents, when I was in high school, I wanted to paint my nails when I dressed, my toes, my fingers. I needed to do everything. I needed to have full makeup on, jewelry, a dress, stockings, and heels. I so needed to paint my nails. At night I would put on one of my mothers' old nightgowns, I would get under the covers, I would take out the red, the purple, the orange, and paint. Twenty nails all colorful all night, it made me so happy. One morning I awoke to a puddle of red glitter, the sheets, the pillow cases even the wood frame was slathered in glitter polish. It was hard to explain, it was harder to tell anyone. I was punished, had to stay home while everyone went out to the park, the mall, the City, wherever, it didn't matter. My mother now knew I was up to something, had a secret, a quirk. Crossdressing became much more difficult.

Now I had my own room with my own UV LED lamp, my own facial cleansing device, life was easier, better than when I was young with my family. When we came to the house in November, my wife had Jada, this olive-skinned, beautiful Spanish woman come over, she owned a shop in town, she put long gel nails on us, waxed us, turned us into sexier women. I was so embarrassed, I barely spoke, but I was quite excited about it and the outcome. She brought me the lamp, she picked so many polish colors, she made sure I had everything I needed. Jada now stopped by every couple of days, always with something for me, something she says I would love, and I did. I would let her do what she wanted, whatever she thought I needed. I wasn't embarrassed anymore, I was thinking maybe going out to lunch and starting quietly would be a good introduction for me, good for my stress level, good for both me and Sara.

I put on my longer wig again, hiding my own long strawberry-blonde hair. I put on big silver clip-on hoops next to my pierced ears, another avenue of femininity from Jada. I put on my Black Opium perfume, I filled my black pocketbook with more lipstick, nail polish, mascara, even an extra pair of stockings. I waited by the mirror, I waited for the bell.

When we first got married, Sara didn't like when I fixed my makeup by myself, she wanted to help, she wanted to supervise. I then had to let her apply it, work on my lashes, it was easier, I couldn't argue with her. She figured she was a 'real' woman she would show me, show me her tricks, her shortcuts. She would introduce me to her products, her colors, even her perfume but I already had my own, I was used to being a 'woman.' I had been wearing female clothing since I was ten, eleven, I had been used to putting on makeup and fixing my hair for years, probably even longer than Sara.

I didn't want to tell her that I hated her help, absolutely hated it. She was condescending, she was pushy, she told me she was always right. She would get annoyed if I told her something she didn't like, she would make me cry, she made me feel so ignorant and sad. This was supposed to be fun, something that we did together, something that I so desperately needed.

She told me I should be thanking her for letting me do this, letting me become feminine, letting me take over her weekends. Other wives wouldn't be so understanding.

I thanked her, I always did, I bought her little presents and I always cooked. I learned to make her favorite coffee drinks, I learned to use the grinder, the frother wand. Soon I took care of the entire house, took care of her. After she was done helping I would let her pick out an outfit that she would buy me, I would let her take pictures. Finally, she would get tired of her feminine husband and move on to something else. I then hid in my room, I would smile in my mirror, but then in bed, I would cry to myself. I was confused, I couldn't tell if she liked this side of me or not, I just couldn't figure her out. Then in the morning, I would check to make sure there was no nail polish on my bed and sheets or even my fingers.

Slowly I did what she showed me, learned as quickly as possible just to get her out of my mirror. Then I went back to my original ways, my original brands. Part of me knew she never forgave me. It annoyed her that I didn't use her soaps or shampoos, she hated that I smelled like a different woman. She also began to realize I didn't need her help, or want to imitate her style, I didn't want to look or act like her at all, I wanted to look and act like me.

I didn't want to be her sister I just wanted to be her friend.

*

"Sabrina, you have a visitor."

I heard the bell, I heard Sara, I didn't want to leave my mirror, she didn't sound as happy as she did before.

"Okay, be right out."

I realized Sara would see what looked like a date. A man was coming to pick me up and take me out, it screamed date. She would watch him take my hand, lead me outside, open the door for me, she would watch a man take me out on a date. I'm sure other husbands in dresses had men come over and take them out to dinner, I'm sure it was a thing, maybe not in Port Republic, but still, somewhere.

I stood, I stopped by the door, I took a deep breath, watching my hidden cleavage, my breasts move on my chest. Maybe it would have been easier if we all went out together, it wouldn't look so much like something romantic. I knew I never would have gone for that anyway, I never would have been able to sit with five other people, making small talk.

"Sabrina! Are you coming out?" And I heard her laugh.

I took another look in the mirror, my makeup looked so good, my hair was perfect and this dress was so tight it showed off my breasts, my thin corsetted waist, my long legs. I looked like a woman who should be dating already. What was the big deal? I was thirty. I'm sure men found me attractive, wanted to spend time with me, they used to when I was younger. On some level, Sara must realize that's where all of this was heading.

I opened the door, I walked in on the two of them talking. She made a face, she knew I was too feminine, too good at this, then suddenly everything around me stopped. Ross smiled at me, it was something I wasn't prepared for. He walked over, he took and kissed my hand, he gave me more roses. A dozen, a handful.

"Thank you."

My voice felt higher, lighter, I smiled as he watched my dark lips, he moved closer as I took the flowers. I could smell his aftershave.

"Ross?" I said his name, it gave me a chill. "Would you like to see my roses?" And he followed, I showed him, I showed him my ultra-feminine bedroom with my vanity, my collection of blush brushes, my UV lamp, and eye makeup palettes. The mirror on my closet door reflects us back, a man and a woman in her maroon and pink bedroom. A man and a woman getting ready to go on a romantic date. He watched as I slightly bent and put the roses in the water, the vase, fixing them, I had some baby's breath, I was making them look perfect. My long hair fell about my face, I laid one side over my ear exposing my hoop, I sniffed, he bent and sniffed with me, he laughed as he moved up. I was watching him, I liked that he did that, I liked he was so comfortable with me already.

"So what's the special today?"

I jumped. Sara was at the threshold of the door, she was leaning, I hoped she didn't see that little interaction.

"A couple of things, since it's so close to Christmas. I will have Sabrina bring you back something."

"Or I could just come." She had her hand on her hip, I wanted to leave, she was teasing me. "Ha, Sabrina almost had a heart attack, she doesn't like to be out looking more girlie than her sister." She laughed some more as I grabbed my bag and we headed for the car. Ross held my waist and he opened my door, he even held my hand helping me into the seat. If Sara was watching she would know that this was definitely a date.

*

The trip to Smithville was so fast, we barely heard a full song on his speakers, I barely said a word. Sara thought we were in the middle of nowhere but I knew we were just off the express ramp to everywhere.

"Here we go." He shut the car, he touched my wrist. "This is going to be nice, I hope you are hungry."

And I smiled, I took off my seat belt. He opened my door and even helped me out. It was feeling even more like a date. I looked up at the Christmas lights, they were all off, it was too light out, it didn't look as festive as the picture I had seen the night before.

I started to remember I was out in daylight, freakin' daylight. I was wearing a dress and smiling at passersby, I couldn't believe I could feel so comfortable so quickly. We said hello to people on the sidewalk, people he knew. Every one of them smiled, they weren't surprised we were on a date, they weren't surprised Ross was with a 'woman.' We walked closer to the white stucco building, he opened a large wooden door and I walked in, it was beautiful, it smelled of oregano and baking bread.

"Ahh, finally!" A woman was moving toward me, I froze, she put her hands on my arm, she asked me to spin. "Sabrina, let me see you. Just, beautiful, so glad you came."

"Hi."

"I'm Rachel, I know you have heard SO much about me." She winked, she giggled, she complimented my dress and nails. "Sara says you have the most perfect hands, and the most sexiest nails, and you do." And she took them from me, she held them to her own, our hands were the same size. My long dark pink nails were looking fantastic in the orange glow of the restaurant. I was thinking I was surprised Sara would compliment me, she rarely even mentioned anything I wore or did any more. I was surprised I would even come up in a positive conversation.

We intertwined our fingers as she pulled me more into the restaurant.

"Thank you, I'm a little obsessed with my nails."

"Feet too?"

"Of course." And I felt my eyes go wide, as I giggled, as I felt Ross' strong hand on the small of my back.

"She is not going to leave you alone until you show her."

So I did, I leaned on the bar and took off my size nine and a-half silver pumps, one at a time and I showed off my delicate toes in the nude pantyhose, I wiggled and the two of them approved.

Then she showed me hers.

*

We toured the rest of the restaurant. It was lovely, it was quite large. It had a big circular wooden bar right in front leading straight to the back, it had two dining rooms, and a small alcove to the side surrounded by fairy lights. There was a table all set, looking ready for a romantic date. Candles, two empty wine glasses, holly. I smiled at the pair of them, I wanted to tell them I was excited about this first date, the first one with a man in a long time. I wanted to tell them I was nervous but so looking forward to it, so looking forward to being myself... on a date.

"There are only two others here, the chef and Jake the kid that helps with the dishes. Would you like to meet them? Or is meeting Rachel too overwhelming like it is for the rest of us?"

"Ha, I'm sorry, my personality is too big for Smithville." She had her hands on my shoulders, I knew why Sara liked her so much, she was her opposite too, I felt completely comfortable.

"No please, I would love to meet everyone." I smiled, I bit my lip. I then realized others will be meeting my feminine self. Sara would be surprised, she would shake her head and be annoyed that I was being easy and not difficult. She didn't understand it wasn't me, it was her. I didn't want her catching me being too femme, too dainty, too anything. I could just relax and be myself. I started to solidify the theory in my mind that it was her presence that made me uncomfortable out in the world.

I met the two others as even more people walked in, more kitchen help. I didn't even mind as they showed me the appliances, the huge freezers, the wine cellar, or the restrooms.

I excused myself. I smiled, I was being cute, I was feeling confident. I went into my first ladies' room in years. I looked a little different in this mirror, younger with the soft lighting, happier surrounded by porcelain and dark tiles. I was ready for a first date, I was ready to tell a man about my life.

I wasn't ready for a phone call. "Hi."

"So, how're things going?"

"Um, good, good, I just finished the tour, it's so cute here." I giggled, I felt I was being too cute myself.

"Hmm, remember this is one of your Christmas presents."

"Oh? Okay, thank you?"

I didn't know why she would say that, it felt weird. Was she finally giving me a man of my own for Christmas? She used to always threaten to bring guys home with her to visit me, to watch movies, and share cappuccinos together. She told me she wanted to see me squirm, see how uncomfortable I got, how embarrassed I was as she brought up male body parts, ones so much bigger than mine.

"Another thing, I meant to tell you this yesterday, but, um, my mother called she wants to visit."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she wants to come on Christmas Day to Jersey, what is that like another week?"

"Mmm." I was wondering why she was telling me this, why I couldn't find out about the visit when I got home.

"Well, that's it. Are you sitting at the table looking at Ross right now, are you being rude?"

"Um, no, I'm in the ladies' room."

And she laughed, she laughed louder than I thought appropriate. "Ha, I can't believe I'm talking to my husband while he is hiding from his date in the little girls' room, you are too much." I let her laugh some more. I wanted to tell her I wasn't hiding, I wanted to tell her she shouldn't have called, I wanted to tell her I was going to kiss him goodnight so don't wait up for me.

I didn't, I said bye and hung up. She made that call to throw me off and it worked. I was wondering if her mother would be surprised to meet me in my red Christmas dress. I was wondering if Sara was going to make me change genders.

*

I forgot about Sara as Ross held my chair. We had red wine, we had dinner, we had dessert, and incredible conversation. I took pictures, I sent them, just like Sara did the night before. At first, I wasn't used to being by myself with a man, wearing my larger breasts, crossing my legs, and rubbing my thighs. At first, I thought I was nervous, I thought I was going to mess up, make mistakes, make a fool of myself. Then we talked some more. He made me laugh, he liked my earrings, I told him I liked his aftershave. We talked about weather and traffic then things that we loved, liked music and traveling. We went back and forth, and then we laughed some more, we were both becoming more comfortable, and silly, we were adults, and we could talk like them. We were both on a first date.

"I apologize for showing up unannounced last night."

"Oh, no that was fine. I was very happy you did." And I bit my lip, moved my shoulders.

"Rachel said Sara was a little miffed with me. The two of them have become buddies. They can be busy together, it leaves more time for us to do this again."

"Will we do this again?"

"Um, yes, well, if you want, it is up to you." And he held his wine glass closer to mine, "Cheers."

"Cheers."

It was getting closer to six, closer to the opening of the restaurant and more people were trickling in. I didn't mind, I liked people coming by saying hello to Ross, and him introducing me. We were hidden in this little alcove, but I smiled as everyone passed. I think I was beckoning them in with my perfume and demeanor.

"Warren, Veronica, this is Sabrina, she just moved to Port Republic, right next to the park." And he would take my hand, his wife would say she loved my silver heels, their kids would wait impatiently to sit and eat. I acted like someone meeting someone else, it was so much easier than I thought it would be.

"So Sara says you are visiting until Christmas."

I love that he was so interested, his eyes were totally focused on mine. Blue with long dark lashes, his, dark brown, dark eyebrows, his look made me feel so warm. "Mmm, that was the plan. She called me before and told me her mother was coming that day, so now I don't know." I shrugged, I was still enjoying myself.

"Her mother? Not your mother too?"

I looked at him, I was confused. Wait... Did he know who I was? Didn't Sara tell him? "Um, no just hers."

"Oh, she told us you two were sisters." He took my hand again. "Well, she told Rachel and me about you, said she called you her sister."

"Oh, no I'm actually her..." I looked around, I felt tiny, I started to blush. I whispered, "I'm her husband, I'm sorry."

"Oh? okay, ha, good to know." And he squeezed my hand, he didn't seem that bothered by this new information. He must have known I was a crossdresser, transgender, or even genderfluid that is how Sara always wanted to introduce me to the world. I guess I was finally meeting it... the world.

"I'm genderfluid. But I have been living as a female full-time since Thanksgiving." I felt I needed to say that, needed to inform him about the full-time situation. And then I told him even more, told him about the new house, the plan for December, and then we finally moved on to something else, we talked about his car, his other restaurants, his wife, his divorce.

"She moved to Western PA, we sold the restaurant we owned together in Philly, I don't even know what she is doing now."

"How long have you been divorced?"

"Two years. I have been living in Smithville, right next door to Rachel and her husband for two whole years, and this is my first date."

*

Rachel made us sit at the bar with her. She was the bartender and she didn't want us to leave, she made Ross promise to keep me here a little while longer while she asked all types of questions. While she served drinks to others, keeping me in the conversational loop.

"Sara doesn't really tell us too much, coffee drinkers don't open up, unlike us." She made us something dark, rimmed with candied cinnamon, we clinked glasses. "Where are you from?"

"Middle Village, Queens. I was blessed with a New York accent, my friends love hearing me say the words water and coffee." I smiled, took a sip, "My coffee tastes like hot water. Ha."

I felt Ross move into me slightly squeezing my body."Mmm, I think we love it too." And they both laughed along with a couple of other people at the bar. "Well, me and Rachel are from Philly and I don't detect an accent at all. You could be from around the corner." I turned to look at him, I spun on the chair with his arm still hovering around me, part of me wanted to kiss him, right here at the bar, right in front of Rachel. In bed, I will imagine that is exactly what I did, in bed I will imagine I was a more assertive, proactive 'woman.'

Thank god, Rachel distracted me. "How long have you been married?"

I squished my lips, thinking, I looked to the ceiling, "Mmm, four years."

"Me, six." She then reached out and ran her fingers through my hair. "You are so beautiful, is that your hair?"

"No, my hair is redder than this, I wish this was my hair."

"Me too," She shook her head, her ponytail, she smiled as she took hold of it. "I have six different ponies at home. Ha. And I don't have to feed any of them. Ha. Only the cats."

"Ha..."

Ross now had his hand on my waist, my arm, even my hands, I felt so comfortable with him. He whispered in my ear, I felt him against the silver hoop. "I'm going to get something together for Sara, I'll have Jake deliver it. I will be right back." I watched him walk away.

When he turned into the kitchen, I missed him. I liked people knowing we were together, it was comforting. I was hoping the others at the bar assumed it was Ross and I that have been married for the last four years, it was exciting. I decided in my head I was going to play the quiet wife out with her popular husband, meeting his friends. I knew I could fall into that role seamlessly.

If I was out with Sara she would be on her phone, talking to someone at work, or talking to her sisters or mother. She would ask for hot coffee, she would be annoyed watching the bartender put the cup in the microwave, she would go back to her phone and sulk that we weren't at a coffee shop or a Bed, Bath & Beyond. But I liked a busy restaurant, a happening bar, usually I just hung with the bartender like I was doing now, but this was different, now I was part of a happy couple.

"Hey, Rach." A man walked in, he handed his coat to her, and sat in Ross's spot. "A dark beer please."

"You are in the boss's seat, ya know." And she smiled as she went to get his drink.

"Really, I can tell it's the best seat in the house," And then he looked at me, he smiled, his gaze went down to my breasts.

Rachel cleared her throat as she put down his stout, "Um, enjoying the view?"

He spun, a little embarrassed, I was being quiet I wasn't used to being looked at like that, I wasn't used to even more men surrounding me. I noticed even those that walked in or sat at the other end of the bar were watching me, I would catch their eyes, I would see them looking at me, my eyes, hair, then breasts. I was enjoying the attention, I was assuming they all found me attractive as I found them.

The man grabbed her hands, "I am," He then pulled her closer to him and they kissed.

"Sabrina this is Michael, my husband of six with the roaming eyes."

"Hi," I took his hand.

"Sabrina? Finally, we meet, I have heard so much about you."

I was just about to ask what, but Ross walked behind me, put his arm once again around my waist, joined the conversation. We talked for another hour. I was having a perfectly lovely time.

*

End of Part 2

*

The author at her desk hardly working...

A Sister 'til Christmas 3
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Okay, here we are easing into the holidays, another big date and a little backstory... Just a little time shifting, nothing too major.... I hope YOU like it...

***

I was looking at my phone, I had three texts from Sara, I didn't want to be rude and answer them.

"I'm sorry I kept you out for so long." We were outside, it was starting to snow, it was light, just flurries but it was beautiful. I was freezing.

I smiled, closed my eyes, and felt the light snow, I lifted my chin. He could never imagine how happy I was, sliding in my pumps, holding my arms around myself wishing they were his. We walked to the car, I was going to remember this day forever.

"Sabrina?"

I stopped and looked around, I felt the snow on my lashes, my lips, my cold shoulders. "Jada, hi."

Soon we found ourselves two storefronts down, I was sitting in Jada's raised salon chair, we were about to drink Shankey's, a sweet Irish whisky.

"This will warm you up, I would have brought you a coat, I have at least a dozen at home."

We giggled. I shrugged, "I never go anywhere I didn't think I ever needed one." And we laughed together.

"So you come into town and you don't visit?" She was wandering around her shop, she was filling up a shopping bag.

"I didn't realize you were on this strip. It's now my favorite part of Smithville."

"This is the spot, 'cause you have me, the gym, the olive oil shop, and then Ruffino's, there is no reason to go anywhere else." She laughed, she started playing with my hair, she took hold of my hoops. "Clip-on?"

"Mmm, I can't wait 'til my piercings heal, I can't wait to wear something big and bouncy, I can't wait to make noise and jingle."

"I love these earrings on a woman." Ross then stood up and looked at me closer, "Can I move your hair? Can I see your earrings better?"

"Um, okay."

And he ran his fingers, through my blondeness, moving the hair out of my face and over my ear. I felt this was my first time looking at him, studying. He had such dark eyes, dark messy hair, and the makings of a beard on his chin and cheeks. He was quite tall as he bent slightly to look at my ears, my eyebrows, my long lashes. I was thinking how perfect he was for me, how did they ever pick out someone so masculine to make me feel even more femme? I couldn't wait to see how delicate my hands looked in his. I gave him my best smile as he touched the little pearl dot in my ear, then he rested his palm on the big hoop. "You are so lovely, Sabrina. Um, you got great ears too, ha." He pulled away a little embarrassed.

"Doesn't she? Do you want another piercing, two like me?"

I started to think. Did I? I think I did, but when Jada came over to the house a couple of weeks ago to pierce my ears the first time, um, something happened, I knew it was going to happen again. It might be fun with an audience, but I was so transparent I knew someone would size up the situation.

"Well,"

"Come on, it's quick, one two..." She took off my hoops. She held up a little torture device. A little gold dot was going to go in my ear.

So I smiled, I held back my hair as Jada put the little piercing gun to me. After the left one, I had a little chill, after the right, I came in my panties just like the first time. I had my eyes closed, Ross was inches away from me, I could smell him, could almost feel his breath.

"All done. Anything else my dear?"

I opened my eyes slowly, wide, my lips pursed, I felt my disposition become a little flirtier, a little more sure of myself. "Well, I would love a ponytail like Rachel." And I knew the look on my face was much more femme, more sensuous, I wasn't a mystery to myself at all.

Jada ran her hands through my hair. "Can we lose this hair for a second?"

I looked at Ross, he was going to see me without my perfect girl hair. "Um, okay." I saw her fingers get closer to me. "I would also love nails as long as yours, they are lovely." I was thinking I would also love real breasts, a perfect nose, and darker, thicker eyebrows. Ooh and maybe a dog. "I would love eyebrows like yours too." I smiled, I wasn't even embarrassed, I'm sure the whisky and the last hour at the bar with Rachel were feeding into my exploration of more feminization. I was afraid my laundry list of all things girlie was going to be discussed and displayed and then put into action. I knew I would feel incredible, then get guilty thinking about Sara, afraid of what she might think, then I would have another wonderful orgasm.

I shook my head, my hair was quite long I had been growing it out for the last two years or so. Unfortunately, it had been stuck under a little cap all day, it didn't look too nice, it felt flat and bland. She pulled out a book of hair samples, she held them to my head, to my real hair color as Ross and I watched amused, as we finished our sweet Whisky. I then realized I had large lashes, colored lips, and a double piercing. I knew I still looked feminine with my flat lifeless hair.

I put back on the wig as Jada made a call, she had a huge smile on her face. "Okay, can you come in tomorrow, honey? I will have one of the girls pick up the extensions in Philly."

"Um, I think so."

"Then we can have lunch together." Ross grabbed my hand, he lifted me out of the chair.

"Can we go shopping? Christmas shopping?"

"Ha, yeah, of course, that would be great." We hugged Jada goodbye, sometime tomorrow I would be a different woman, so much more different than Sara. Wait until she finds out I was going shopping and to the salon without her. Wait until she finds out I was now wearing Ross's large coat.

*

We were outside the house, the kitchen light was on, I knew Sara was up, probably drinking decaf, definitely wondering why I never texted her back.

"What time would you like me to get you?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'm sorry for bothering you, you are probably working."

"What, I'm the boss, I can do what I want." He reached over and took my hand. I looked down at the two of them, mine was so femme, so perfect, I wanted to tell him I wanted a picture of our hands, I wanted to look at them tonight. I wanted to dream about his fingers investigating my ears and thighs, or my fingers intertwined with his.

"Can we take a picture together?"

He smiled, "Sure, let me pull over." He drove beyond the trees, closer to the farmhouse next to mine. We took off our seat belts and moved closer together. We both took pictures with our phones, I took one of him holding my hand, my legs crossed, then his hand on my knee close to the hem of my dress. He held up his, I looked at the image, now with two piercings in each ear. I couldn't believe that was me, I couldn't believe I was in a picture with a man. I couldn't believe I went on a date. I couldn't believe I was having deja vu, I had done something like this so many years before.

***

So Many Years Before...

*

"Can I stay?"

"Really? They have a pool, there will be lots of people, I'm sure you will have fun."

"I know, I'm just a little tired. I just want to hang around in the lobby, maybe I'll read my book."

"Okay."

When I was eighteen my parents took me to Florida for a month with their friends. A husband and wife and two daughters. We had adjoining rooms, a big living room in between, and a beautiful view of the huge pool surrounded by palm trees. I wanted to stay in the hotel, The Floridian, they wanted to go visit more friends. I wanted to investigate the outfits the older daughter wore.

"Now, you are sure you don't want to come?" My mother had asked me constantly the same question over the last two days, I could tell she didn't really trust me alone. She always assumed I was up to something, had a more mysterious motive. I always told her not to worry about me.

"Oh, ya gonna leave me alone with some jerks from Florida?" Liz was the older daughter, she was probably twenty-one, twenty-two, and always carried a thermos of coffee. She was beautiful, had perfect big breasts, long brown hair, and sometimes wore beautiful tight dresses. All I could think about was wearing them, or even her bra, her heels, I couldn't wait for them to be gone for the day. I never had access to clothes like this before.

"Mmm, I'm sorry. Tomorrow will be a day just for you. Anything, whatever you want to do. Okay?" I told her, I smiled big, I would do what she wanted anyway, she was quiet but fun. I wanted to be just like her.

She shook her massive head of hair, her tiny plastic earrings, she gave me a look. "I'm holding you to that." She made a face and then the six of them were gone, leaving me in the large beautiful air-conditioned hotel room. Leaving me alone with dresses, heels, and so much makeup. I was shaking like crazy, it was going to be a wonderful day.

*

An hour later I was wearing the bright flouncy red dress that was left on the chair near the bed. I was wearing the dress that went out last night to dinner. It was a tank with a hem that barely covered my panties. Underneath I had on the beige bra I found hidden under the chair, I filled it with tissues giving me a perfect B cup, just right for my body frame. I found the beige panties hidden under the bed. Liz was in a rush to get into bed last night, they were all in a rush to get to Hollywood, FL today. I was in no rush at all, I could barely breathe, I could barely stop shaking and shifting my legs while looking at the new girl in the mirror.

I was nervous, I was putting the finishing touches to my makeup. I was being so neat, so tidy. Just a little blush, mascara, shadow. Just a touch of Liz's dark red lipstick. I only had on light colors before, never anything dark, my mother barely wore makeup. At home, she had a beautiful vanity, plenty of room for everything, but she kept her recipes and receipts in the drawers, old diaries, socks. I wanted lashes, clips, bangles, makeup, and more makeup, I always thought how disappointing, how sad that the vanity was barely feminine.

Holding the hair dryer, I blew and brushed my hair as femme as possible, I put a little barrette on the side. My hair was slightly long, just over my shoulders and it was of course, strawberry blonde. I was blessed with girl hair, girl hands, and of course, girl's feet. I slipped on the beige pantyhose I found on the floor in the corner, I put on the four-inch red sandals. They were at least one size too big, I had smaller feet than a woman.

I put on a little bit of the Avon perfume, I found in the bathroom, I took one of the pocketbooks hanging in the closet, I went back into my own room. I took pictures, I practiced my walk, my strut, my spin. It didn't take long until I was in front of the huge mirror in the bathroom, rubbing my 'clit' and talking in my soft girlie voice. I wanted to feel like this all day, I didn't want to get too excited, I didn't want to cum, but I did. I closed my eyes, I didn't want to feel guilty, I didn't want to see the disappointed look in the blonde's eyes in my mirror. I wanted to cry. All this work, all this preparation, and now it was over.

I leaned against the counter I didn't want to open my eyes.

I forced myself to blink, I slowly walked back into Liz's family's room. I sat in her chair surrounded by shopping bags, dirty clothes, cardboard cups, and water bottles. I crossed my legs, I didn't move, I waited until whatever was inside of my mind passed. I wasn't ready to take off her clothes, her makeup. I wasn't ready to end this perfect feminine day.

I took a deep breath, I blew out, I breathed in. I sat for so long, I waited until that feeling came back, the feeling I needed. I started painting my short nails, dark red, Darker and more exciting than anything I had ever done before. I made a mess, I cleaned it up, I was shaking again.

Soon I was ready. I was ready once more to be a girl for the day. I couldn't believe it but I was ready to go out. I never went out, I barely left the bathroom back in Queens, but here I was ready to investigate Miami as a teenage girl.

"Hi, I love this hotel." I would say to the people working, "Hi, I love your bikini." I would say to the girls younger than me and not as cute. "Oh I love how well you fill out those trunks," I would say to the boys, to the men, to the lifeguard I couldn't stop looking at for the past couple of weeks.

It was too hot to walk around the palm trees in pantyhose. It was too slippery to walk by the pool in heels. I went into the little drugstore and bought a book, a romantic Jacqueline Susann novel. This would be something to help me fantasize, something to keep me looking busy as I rub my thighs and made believe I wasn't checking out boys. I found a quiet, cool corner in the huge lobby. I said hello to an older couple, a little girl with a stuffed dolphin, one of the maids in a uniform I wish I could try on. I smiled as people watched me sit back, slide my dress underneath me, crossing my legs.

I got through two chapters playing with my hair and biting my lip, it was fun, I was so relaxed. My red sandal was bouncing, slightly dangling off my foot, I could barely smell my perfume over the scent of white bird of paradise, adonidia palm, and angel's trumpet surrounding me. I looked up, there was a man five feet away.

"Hey, that dress looks really familiar."

***

I was looking at the girl on Ross's phone, remembering her being younger, ready for an adventure. Remembering her in red and meeting a young man in the lobby of a busy hotel. A different man's voice drew me back to the snow, the trees.

"Tomorrow we will be taking pictures of you with a new ponytail. I can't wait." He smiled at me, he took another selfie of us.

I was far away, I had to pay attention to the man with his fingers on my thigh. "I had so much fun today." I looked up, his face was so close to mine, he then moved even closer. He put his phone down, he put his arm around me, my nose slid against him and he surprisingly kissed me. He kissed a 'married woman,' he kissed her slowly, his tongue slipping into her mouth, with her perfect pink lips and four earrings. He didn't know she could barely breathe, he didn't realize she was over-excited. He didn't realize she could scream at a moment's notice.

I was holding in a scream as his tongue swirled inside my mouth, slowly he pulled out, I tried to keep it, I tried to suck. I smiled, today was ending on a perfect note. I kissed him lightly on his lips. "You are so mean, making fun of me getting a ponytail?" I squinted my eyes, trying to be cute.

He grinned, "I don't think so. I am looking forward to seeing you and your tail tomorrow. I had fun today too."

I shifted in the seat, my nylon leg now over his, my hands with the slightly long nails went to his cheeks. We kissed again, harder, his hands on my waist and back. I loved kissing, I loved the roughness of his chin and cheeks, I loved the scent of a man.

"You must have so many girlfriends. You have the kindest eyes, you have the best eyebrows."

"Mmm, do I? heh, I am not as popular as you think."

I smiled up at him as he drew me into his body, I was enjoying how he was holding me, keeping me warm, getting me too excited. I rubbed my cheek on his rougher one, holding him tighter, enjoying being with a perfect man. I loved that he took me out today and complimented me, I loved the way his hands were investigating my body.

"Uhh," I was suddenly surprised, I started to lightly moan, then my eyes opened wide and I started to unfocus. Then something happened, I wasn't ready for it, I started to orgasm. I was totally startled, felt the wetness in my panties expand, I wiggled my bottom, I bounced my ass on the seat, rubbing my nylon leg over his body. I felt my next move was to rip off his clothes, see his chest, then play with his, um, manhood. I felt I had to shake myself out of this, had to become a little reserved, had to act like it was a first date again. His hands were still rubbing me.

"Ross, um, thank you for kissing me," I said in my shakey, Queens accent. Trying to catch my breath.

"I have been wanting to do this since the first time I saw your picture."

"Picture?"

He was hugging me, we were so close as he talked, whispered. "Mmm, when Sara came to the restaurant, it must be over a month ago now, she was showing Rachel pictures of her sister, ha, well you." He started kissing my neck, my ears. "I heard them discussing some plan, she was going to hire someone to come bring you flowers, she wanted to see how you would react, I could tell she wanted to tease you. Then someone volunteered me."

"She was going to tease me?"

"Well, she said you would be all nervous and run and hide in your room. I saw the pictures of the gorgeous woman she had up on her laptop. I was so glad they convinced me to visit and not some random actor like she was planning. All I did was watch the clock the first night and wait until almost seven before I left. I couldn't wait to see you." He started playing with my hair, and once again he was focused on my eyes. "I asked Sara if I could come every night, you were so beautiful and so quiet."

"That was your idea?"

"Mmm, she just wanted me to visit the once, but I couldn't stay away. Back then I thought you were her, well, she told us you were her genderfluid sibling, she told us very little about you. Part of me likes that you are married, ya know, is that weird?"

"No," I put my arms around his neck again and pulled him into me. "No, I don't think so. I don't feel like a married woman, I am definitely more of a sister than anything else to her and that's the way I like it."

We started to kiss again, I ran my fingers through his hair, I was holding him so he couldn't move away. I was enjoying a man's tongue inside of me.

He moaned, he pulled slightly away, he gave me small kisses as he talked. "Then she came to the restaurant and said I shouldn't bring you any more roses, she was a little agitated, she also had company again that night. She is a very different person sometimes, depending on who she is with." I felt his lips on my neck, the top of my dress. "It was Rachel's idea to have you see the restaurant, it was mine to take you out. I am so glad I did."

We kissed some more, I felt like a teenager in a father's car, making out with an older boyfriend. I slid my hand down to my stockinged legs and rubbed, I inched over to his crotch, I wanted to see if he was hard. I wanted to know if I was turning him on. There was a hardness to the right of his zipper, it was attempting to crawl down his leg, I started to pet him. Our tongues sloppily went in and out of each other's mouths as I pushed on him harder. I started to press, he was making noise, a grunt, a sigh, a louder moan. I pulled away from his lips, I watched his face as I played with his manhood hidden in his pants, I wanted him to look at my lashes, my soft eye shadow, as I played with his hard cock.

"Sabrina, your fingers are magic."

"Mmm, I know, ha."

Soon he was moving erratically, as I held and rubbed and pushed, he moaned louder, I knew he was cumming, I felt his hardness throb. I was so happy he had an orgasm while gazing into my blue eyes, It made me smile to think about it, I was in another world. Another world where it was only Ross and me, it was snowing and Christmas never came.

My phone was still buzzing, but my brain was buzzing louder, my libido was going crazy and I knew one little breeze over my 'clit' and I would cum like crazy again.

His hand went on top of my dress, I came like crazy... again.

*

I heard her, I tried to stay reserved, nonchalant. I planned on not looking into her eyes.

"Don't you answer the phone?" She walked into the living room, she was on her own Apple.

I looked around, I put the shopping bag Jada gave me on the table. "I saw Jada in town, I went to visit her."

"It's after ten. What did you do for what... seven hours?" She had her hand on her hip, I could tell she was getting even more annoyed than she had been earlier. "Your first time out like this and you are out almost all day."

"I know, I'm sorry, but I had fun. I felt okay the whole time. I even met everyone, they all asked about you." I smiled. "They said to say hello. Hello."

I smiled at her, finally making eye contact, but she couldn't be bothered.

"Seven hours?" She shook her head and went into her bedroom. I cleaned up the cups and things on the little table, the remnants of the food from Ruffinos. I shut the TV, repositioned the reindeer-patterned blankets, then hid in my room with my bag full of goodies from Jada.

*

"Sabrina!"

Sara was calling me, I just stepped out of my shower, refreshed, I was in a towel, I was getting ready for the new day. I didn't tell her what I had planned.

"Rachel tells me you are going to Ruffino's for lunch, what the hell?"

I didn't want her to see me with no makeup, with no wig or dress. If she saw me she would talk to me differently, she would treat me like her husband and not her sister.

I slightly opened my bedroom door, "Let me get ready."

"Why are you going out? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I, um, am going to visit Jada again."

"Shit, then I'm coming."

*

I didn't realize one little phone call from someone could change the direction of your day. Maybe even the direction of your life.

Briiiing...

"Hi honey, I got the new hair, what time ya wanna come in?" Jada was calling, I wasn't even almost dressed, I was stressed and nervous.

"Oooh, I don't know a couple of hours, I have to put on makeup and find an outfit, I'm shaking a little it might take a while."

"Mmm, can you come in now, just like you are? I have a dress here to show off your top and bottom forms and I can do your makeup. Ross says he will come by at one."

"Okay. Um, now Sara wants to come."

"Oh? You don't want her to?"

"Not really, I don't want her to see me getting my nails and hair done, or see me with Ross." I heard Sara in the other room, I think she was talking to me, she was making me more nervous.

"You know what? You come on in now, let me worry about Sara." And she giggled, I felt the weight lift off of me.

I put on my wig, "Jada's going to call, I'm gonna go, bye." It was strange and quite unexpected, I didn't even wait for a reply, I didn't even have on foundation. I left in jeans, converse, and my green sweater, I looked like I was going to snow blow the parking lots not go shopping in the arms of a man.

*

'Are you gonna to leave me
And leave my heart astray
I'm in the middle of nowhere
Come and show me the way'

Two hours in a styling chair is a long time to not get a good look in a mirror. The anticipation was making me slightly unhinged. Jada's shop was busy, the stylists were buzzing, it was Saturday and girls were coming in to look gorgeous for their weekend. I was in the back, I didn't think I could talk to the other clients yet, I just moved my colored lips around a lot when someone spoke to me.

"These boobs we got you are amazing, they look perfect with your coloring, your skin tone. From now on you are showing them off."

"Did you pick out the breast forms?"

Jada was arranging them in the dress, she gave me a small red push-up bra to wear underneath.

"I did, Sara asked about them. I made her get the best ones, Double D, the best-padded bottom too." She started playing with the top of the forms, moving my hair, holding up my chin. "Do you want to be a 'Boy Toy,' a 'Mommy,' or a 'Slut'?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have collars, I want to cover the seam of your forms. Ha, don't tell me you're shy?" She giggled as she checked my ponytail, my earrings, my flushed cheeks.

"I have one at home, it's frilly it hides it perfectly."

She ended up putting a piece of red fabric around my neck, matching the 'Christmas Red' dress. "This is perfect, no worries at all. Inside your head you can be a Boy Toy, a Mommy, and a Slut, you can be whatever you want to be, ha. Inside my head, I am all three."

I giggled with her, I couldn't wait to see what she did with my hair, I could feel it around my face, I could feel it on my shoulders and back.

Knock, "Can I come in?"

"You can, she is all ready to go shopping." Jada stood next to me as Ross walked in. She helped me out of the chair. I was nervous, I wanted to see what I looked like, I felt so different.

Ross moved closer, "May I?" His hands hovered near my hair. I shook, feeling and seeing the soft tendrils. He put his hand on the ponytail.

I spied Jada's eyes, she had a wide smile on her face.

"Wow, you look amazing." Soon he had both hands in my hair, he was playing with the two long wisps surrounding my face. They were redder, more 'me color' than 'wig color.' He put his hand under my chin and we kissed.

***

The first and second time I kissed a boy, I was eighteen and in Florida. I was in red.

*

We were in the hotel lobby, I was holding my book tight. "Liz told me her sister was young, you don't look that young."

I was lying to the boy that took her out to dinner the night before, took her out all week. I was getting nervous, he was still standing over me.

"This is definitely the dress she wore last night, look this is where she spilled her, um, pina colada." And he touched the hem, there was a lighter spot, it was a little hard. I was embarrassed having a man touch me, my legs.

"I better go." I stood, he was at least five inches taller, he was wider, he was quite tan, cute. I slipped around him making noise in the plastic heels.

"Wait!"

I spun, he handed me the black bag. "Why don't you stay with me, maybe I can get reacquainted with this dress." He smiled, he made me move closer to take the bag. For some crazy reason I said okay, he finally let go.

*

"ID."

The bartender had his hand out, the boy had his hand on my back. "She's with me, she's twenty-one. Look at her breasts, man."

I felt myself get redder than the dress, the bartender looked at my chest, my bra stuffed with tissues, he seemed to approve. He gave us both frozen pina coladas, maybe I will spill some too. I wanted to be like Liz.

"I'm Hendrix, and you are not Liz's sister."

"I'm not?"

"No, and I have a good idea who you are. I can tell by the color of your hair." And he touched it, he ran his fingers through it. I liked that, I liked how intimate it was.

"Don't tell anyone." I looked up at him, I bit my lip.

"Your secret is safe with me."

He smiled. I told him my femme name as we sat drinking pineapple-based drinks all day, here in the quiet and empty large grass-roofed building, listening to music and the bartender. I kept on trying to answer both of their questions in my femme voice, it wasn't easy, I was never femme for this long before. Soon others came to sit near us, but we ignored them, instead I let him play with my hair, I played with my icy glass, I concentrated on my painted nails. After a while, I felt I had a stupid smile and a foggy, squinty look on my face. My lipstick was all but gone but I didn't have the nerve or the tube to touch it up.

"Are you from Queens too?"

"Mmm."

"I live in Jersey, the shore."

"Mmm."

"You're not as chatty as Liz, heh. I guess not all girls from Queens are."

I think I smiled, I had my hand suddenly on his chest. "I had a great day today, but I don't think I'm used to pineapple." And I hiccupped, put my fingers in front of my lips, and he laughed.

I was a little disoriented when I tried to stand, I realized I had to get changed. I had to say goodbye to him. I held onto the stool as he fixed my hair, wiped some colada off my chin. We said goodbye to the bartender as he put a free drink card in my palm, I stuck it in the black bag. I had Hendrix's arm around me for support as we walked back toward the rooms. His was right above us, we were on one and he was on two. He made a noise, he saw Liz before I did, he dragged me away behind a little cabana. I must have had a weird, nervous look in my eyes, he bent down and he kissed me. It was quick, just a peck on the lips.

"It will be okay. Where are your clothes?"

"Um, why am I naked now?"

"Heh, no, I mean do you want Liz and the family to see you? You know in her dress."

And then I got really worried, my hands started to shake. My fingers went to my lips, I didn't have a plan. "Um, I guess they are in the hotel room, probably on the bed. What should I do?"

He looked at me, he started to rub my breasts, the tissues. "Give me another kiss and I will get your clothes, I will even tell everyone I saw your other half on the beach."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

He kissed me again, this time he had his tongue inside of me, he ran his hands up my back, I put my arms around his neck. I was eighteen and I was kissing a boy, a man. I didn't want to let go, I didn't want to stop. I knew guests were walking behind him, watching as I held tight, as I let him taste the remnants of our afternoon on my lips and tongue. He smiled at me and then we kissed again, longer, a little messier, it was quite wonderful.

"Wow, you kiss better than Liz. Stay here." And I watched him move away from me as I held onto tightly to the wall, as I watched him walk over towards the rooms. Sixty-five minutes later I told everyone I spent the day under an umbrella on the beach. Someone gave me beer. Hendrix smiled as I made up a story, him and Liz were going out again tonight. He would never tell her about me.

I still had to get her dress and all her things back onto the hotel room floor. I still had to figure out a way to take off the red nail polish I had hiding in my pockets.

***

I could tell Ross was mesmerized by my new look. "I just left Sara at Ruffino's, she is in a great mood, she said they are going to watch movies on the couch all day. Rachel made snacks for them."

"Oh?"

Ross was filling me in as Jada finished me up.

She was using hair spray, then finishing spray on me, she finally let me look into her mirror, she finally let me see my new hair. I had to bite my lip, I felt myself become a little too excited, a little too over the edge. I was now a little redder with darker roots. It was closer to my color as a teenager, reddish blonde, strawberry. The pony was high on the back of my head and long, it came down a couple of inches past my shoulders. It was held up with a little red scrunchie. My hair was parted in the middle with two long dangling wisps surrounding my face, I looked so feminine, I looked like a well-kept woman, I thought I looked very expensive. I was imagining my hands would never get dirty.

"I told her you would call her, tell her what we are doing."

Ross was now behind me, looking at my darker eyes with longer lashes in the mirror. Even my bottom lashes were dark and thick along with my darker, thicker eyebrows. I looked again at Ross, he was focusing on my lips, they were so big, plump. They were matte red and so inviting. I put my fingers to them, my nails were so long and fire engine red, twice the length from what they were this morning, the same size as Jada's.

"Well, how do you two like the decolletage?" Jada was next to us, taking pictures.

"The what?" I couldn't pay attention, I was looking at my eyes, lips, and nails, oh and of course my boobs.

"That cleavage, c'mon it's incredible. Ross take a grab, let me get a picture of you holding on to them."

Suddenly Ross's palms were under my boobs, pushing them slightly up through the V-cut of the red dress. The waist was tight, I now had on a corset, I also had on the vagina panties giving me more hips and more ass. The dress was slightly full and landed mid-thigh showing off my beige pantyhose. I was standing in my five-inch red platform pumps, I was leaning into Ross. His hands were firmly on my boobs, I was trying not to have an explosive orgasm.

"Maybe you should call Sara now, while you are being fondled." Jada giggled as she handed me back my phone.

I watched Ross's eyes as he lightly kissed my exposed ear, as the phone started to ring. "Hi, it's me." My voice was shaky, like my hands.

I felt him lean into my ass, I felt my body melt into his, I felt Sara would be able to tell something was up with my voice.

"Mmm, we are going shopping, okay, have fun, say hello to him for me." And I hung up quickly, put the phone against my chest, and tried to keep my eyes open.

Ross kissed me on the neck, "Everything good?"

"Mmm."

"Sara is with our friend again, do you know him?"

"Who James? Mmm, I do."

I smiled and shook my head.

***

'Where does our love lie
In the middle of nowhere
How can you let it die
In the middle of nowhere'

Over the summer we talked about vacation. Well, Sara did the talking. I love that she wants me to think that Port Republic was so random. It wasn't.

"I think we should buy a house there, for weekends, vacations."

"Really? It sounds far."

"We live in Queens, everything sounds far." Well, New Jersey from New York? Is not that far, it's not like San Fran or Spain far, it's nothing like Florida far. I knew the reason she wanted a house there, I knew she would use it to get away from Queens, from me.

Before she found a house she traipsed around Southern New Jersey, visiting different little towns, visiting the beaches, but she already pinpointed where she would settle. She wanted to move to Port Republic, she wanted to live close to a man she met years before. A man she just started sleeping with. She wanted to make sure her needs were being met while her 'sister' visited, while her 'sister' went away with her in December. I knew the winter break was for her, she needed it more than me, she was busy at work and traveling to and from the Southern part of Jersey. She said it was for us, but it was really for her.

I was quite okay with everything. I had to be.

'Are you gonna to leave me
Leave my heart astray
I'm in the middle of nowhere
Come and show me the way'

*

I felt I had to tell Jada about me and Sara, I'm sure she knew we were married. I was good at secrets but this one was unneeded, this one would be fine for the world to know, especially now if both she and I were with men. I had to tell Jada and Ross that I knew about Sara and her 'plaything.' 'Plaything,' that's what she always called him, she never used his name. When she spoke of him to me she stopped herself, she always said 'never mind you won't understand,' she would make it sound like he was the best lover in the world. He was the best thing that ever happened to her.

I was hoping he really was. I was hoping he treated her right. I was hoping someone would find me a 'plaything' of my own, though I would never call him that. I wanted a lover with a name. It was going to be hard finding someone if I never left the house.

"And then I met you. I didn't even have to leave the house." I had my long finger on Ross.

And the three of us laughed. Jada put the makeup she used on me in my little black bag.

"I have had this bag for years, I got it in Florida."

My friend Liz left it in her hotel room and it makes me comfortable knowing I have a little bit of her with me. When I told her I stole it from her, she cried, she put her arms around me. We talk sometimes, but I still miss her. I miss her every day.

***

I had my first hangover when I was eighteen and in Florida.

*

"God effin' Florida is so hot." Liz had a headache. I didn't want to tell her I had one too. I was betting mine was worse.

"At least the bus is cold."

We had two large coffees, getting colder than the bus, in our hands. I promised her I would do something with her today, the day after I spent it with Hendrix. The night after she did the same. She wanted him to come with us but there was no way I would have been able to even look at him, dressed as a boy.

"You know that effin' maid threw all my clothes in the closet, even my best dress." She looked around the bus, we were surrounded by senior citizens, there was no one under seventy, not even the driver. She whispered, "I'm making the hotel get it cleaned, it had a huge stain on it, it was a cum stain, ha." She giggled as I watched her. "That Hendrix has bad aim, ha. And he cums like crazy."

Last night, I got into her room, I put all the clothes I borrowed in this large closet. Hendrix was with everyone by the pool, they were all exhausted by the drive. I still had her black bag, I kept it in the back of the closet in my suitcase.

After that, I went to the little drugstore and bought a nail polish remover, the girl behind the counter told me "Nice red, Red." I just smiled, I was dressed as a boy but in my mind, I was all girl. I threw up like a girl behind the drugstore.

Today we were spending the day in Disney World. Our parents didn't want to go, even her sister didn't want to go. I would have been just as happy taking a scenic boat ride or shopping on Biscayne Boulevard. I would have been even happier just sleeping. We spent the day walking around the park, drinking black coffee, laying on the grass, and watching her shop. She bought Minnie Mouse ears and wore them the rest of the day. It wasn't until the sun went down that we both felt better, she said she was going to introduce me to pina coladas. Turned out that just the smell of them made me retch, crazy but they still do, once you get sick on frozen cocktails you are maimed for life.

We spent the rest of the night eating sandwiches and having drinks, I was so nervous someone was going to ask for my ID. I didn't have boobs to make me look older today.

"We look so sophisticated drinking wine." And we clinked glasses. She talked about the families, she talked about her younger sister, she talked most of the day about Hendrix. It was nice.

When I have wine, when I hear 'When You Wish Upon Star,' when I think of Disney World I think of her and Hendrix. I think how nice of a time I had. I didn't know which day I liked more, the one with a boy or the one with a girl. I felt I was not so secretly in love with them both.

***

End of Part 3

A Sister 'til Christmas 4 & 5
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Oooh, I'm getting nervous... Christmas will do that too me. I put 4 and 5 together so the whole story is out by Christmas Eve... This will be fun, I promise... I hope YOU like it...

***

"We, my dear, are going to Philly."

I was freezing, I had my arms tightly around myself, with only my black pocketbook for warmth.

"Uh, uh, uh, okay." My teeth were rattling as I rubbed my arms.

"We are going to Philly to get you a warm coat." And we jogged to Ross's gray car which was blending into the winter background.

He took his tan wool one from the backseat and placed it over my legs, I slipped my arms under it. He moved a bit of hair from my sticky lip gloss, he kissed my cheek and we left Smithville. I turned slightly to watch him drive, to watch his hands on the wheel, for some reason it was turning me on, making me just a touch excited, I was glad my legs and nails were hidden. I just enjoyed his hands, the ride, I kept a slight smirk on my face the whole time.

"Your hair almost matches your dress."

"Almost, ha, maybe that was Jada's plan." I shook the tail, I love the feeling of it bouncing around me, the feeling of it on my neck.

We had an hour's ride and after a few minutes I slipped off the coat, I showed off my legs, I ran my long red nails on my thighs.

"You look incredible today, but then again I think you always look incredible."

I turned, his eyes were on the road, the expressway.

"Thank you, I think you look incredible too."

"Ha, do I?" He smiled at me, he looked a little embarrassed he pushed back his hair.

I liked flirting with him, it was something that I always imagined doing with men but very rarely tried. I never had anyone to flirt with, I never had an opportunity. I realized at that moment I needed him. If I was with Sara and I felt a little frisky in the car she would laugh, she would tell me to relieve myself in the back seat. She was no fun.

"Ross what would you do if I wanted to play with you."

"Play with me?"

"Mmm-mmm. What would you do, would you tell me no and banish me to the back seat?" I moved the hem of my dress higher, I had my palms now on my upper thighs moving closer to my red silk panties.

"Ah, Sabrina, maybe I better pull over I can't concentrate." And then he smiled and shook his head. Once again I got him distracted and he changed plans. He kept glancing at my legs and now completely visible panties. I was tucked but showing off the silicone slit, it was very noticeable in the transparent red silk. I was getting excited sitting here with new hair and nails, I was too excited not rubbing against the man that was so close, yet so far away.

He pulled into a rest area. We were behind some tractor trailers and we slipped into the back seat of his grayer BMW iX. We met in the middle and he kissed me, once again I put my arms around his neck. He had my waist and he pulled me even closer.

"Ross I'm sorry I get like this, I'm not used to having my hair up or my breasts so noticeable."

"Really? You are so beautiful, what, do you hide?" And he made a slight laugh as his hands went to the breast forms.

"I do, I'm really good at that." I then walked my fingers down to his crotch, he opened his legs and I opened his zipper. I wanted to see my long nails holding his manhood, I wanted to see how sexy it looked, how excited it would make me. We stopped kissing as I pulled it out of the briefs, pants, and out into the open of his backseat.

He put his hand in my hair and pulled me into him, he was gripping the ponytail as our mouths reconnected. We made out as I played with his cock, as I felt the hair surrounding it as I felt his balls. I was enjoying the feel of a man, the feel of a man who found me beautiful.

"Mmm," He moaned as my two hands kneaded his dick.

"I want you in my mouth, baby."

"Oh, god..." He lay back against the rear door as I pulled down his pants to his thighs. "You can't be talking like that, you are making me a little too excited."

"Sorry." I raised my shoulders as I looked into his dark eyes, I wasn't sorry at all. I slipped between his legs and slowly bent down to kiss his cock. I pushed it with my lips from his balls to the tip and then looked up at him. He was smiling, he had his eyes wide open, he was enjoying a 'woman' on his manhood. I kissed the tip, a loud 'muah.'

"Ready?" I asked, I was being flirty and girly again.

"Oh my god yes..."

And I let him in, took his cock through my tight lips, over my tongue, just reaching the back of my throat. I gagged and let him slip out. I took a breath and did it again, I got used to his length, his girth. I started to suck, I was loving the taste of a man, it had been too long for me. I let his cock move in and out of my lips, I let his body thrust, I let my fingers wander over his thighs. Soon I was concentrating just on the head of his cock, tasting his precum, getting ready for even more.

I couldn't believe our relationship would ramp up so fast. I knew I would be excited with a man, with anyone who found me attractive, I just didn't think I would have his pants down and his cock inside me so quickly.

"Sabrina, I'm gonna cum."

"Oh? Okay, baby." I slipped off of his legs, I put my face right below his cock as I leaned on his body. He took hold of himself and started rubbing. "In my mouth." I stuck out my tongue, I waited for his cum. I rubbed my legs together, my clit tight between me, my hands started to shake as I held on tighter to his legs. I smiled and flirted I couldn't wait until he unloaded on and in me.

"Ahhh.." He let out a large breath, a loud moan as he kept pumping.

I was getting ready, my voice trembling, "I want you, I want to taste you." I stuck out my tongue just as his cum shot out of his cock, just as he finished his last pump. It landed on my chin, my cheek, my eyes and some made its way into my mouth. I let him watch me swallow, then push some more into my mouth. His dick still dribbled and I took him back through my red lips, I sucked. Feeling him on my tongue.

"That was incredible." He breathed out and ran his fingers through my hair again It's funny but I could tell he loved the two strands hanging in my face. I could tell that was what he focused on, concentrated on.

"Mmm." I continued to moan and suck as I rubbed my legs together again, I let him slip from my mouth, I moaned, I showed him my tongue, I started to cum. I tried to swallow what was left in my mouth but some dripped down my chin, onto my chest. I immediately put my long fingers on the front of my panties and rubbed them. I had to close my eyes, I felt his hand on my cheek as I came, I kept doubling over, it was so intense, I hadn't had a cock in my mouth in years, plus one that tasted so good. I let out one more moan and landed with both hands on his chest, his cock pushing against my belly, wet but happy. I let him play with my hair some more as I played with the buttons on his flannel. I felt it was an even trade. Soon my palm was on his naked chest.

"We should drive to Philly all the time." He chuckled.

"Good idea." I kissed his chest, I could have happily fallen asleep, rubbing and playing with all his hair now tickling my cheeks.

*

"If I didn't bother you this holiday season what would you be doing." I was bothering Ross, we were at Macy's, there were so many decorations. We had shopping bags full of gifts over our arms.

"Well, I probably would have been working or reading at the bar while Rachel and her husband would try to talk to me."

"Try?"

"Mmm, they don't let me read, ha. She would be making me all kinds of crazy drinks to try too."

"I think I would love that. Could I sit next to you? I can wear something very Christmassy." He laughed, he shook his head, I could tell he thought I was acting cute. I could tell he liked me. "I could turn your pages."

"Ha, could you?"

I wiggled my fingers, showing off my nails.

I was thinking that if this was two weeks before I wouldn't have anyone to buy presents for, but now I had a list. I even snuck off and bought something for Ross when he went to the men's room. We shopped for about two hours, I even bought a coat, a long, maxi, it was a pinkish white, and made of wool like his. It came down to my ankles, hiding my legs.

We then went to an Italian restaurant close by that Ross knew of. We had an early dinner and drinks. When I went to the ladies' room there was a crowd of people milling about. When I came out they were still there, and twice as many as before, women and men all dressed up for a party. I noticed many of the women were wearing stockings, I was surprised, I was quite happy. I was glad my dress was short so I could show off my own as I slowly made my way through the crowd, smelling the wonderful perfume and aftershave.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, "Wow, love that dress, love it." I spun around, and a woman in a long green gown was smiling at me, she had the most incredible heels. "You look, sensational darling, just sensational."

"Thank you so do you."

She took my hand, she looked at my nails, they were the same length and color as hers. "Are you here for the party?"

"No, just dinner," I smiled, I was enjoying being surrounded by people, a crowd, handome men and women. I love this woman holding my hand to hers.

"Are you finished?"

"Mmm, yes." And I giggled.

"Then come with us." She continued to hold my hand while she introduced me to about six others, six people in suits and dresses, six people I never would have met if I was in my bedroom posing in front of my mirror, or sitting reading Ross's book over his shoulder at the end of the bar.

I texted Ross, I told him I was immersed in the crowd and to come and save me. I had to stand on my toes so he could see my ponytail, soon we silently followed my new friends. I introduced him as the crowd made its way to another part of the restaurant.

Two doors opened, lots of lights, lots more people. The music was loud and soon we were dancing. I wasn't the best dancer but I could move, I could fake it. Sometimes when I am by myself I practice as if I was a stripper, a lap dancer. I kicked my heels up, shook my breasts, and rubbed my ass on the bed, this time I did my moves on Ross. His lips were on my neck, his arms and hands touching me. I wasn't even embarrassed that all the other girls were so much sexier than me, they all sang, they all grabbed my hand, and got me involved with their dance moves.

"Here you go."

A man came over with drinks, little ones, pink and green ones. Everyone grabbed one and swallowed, it was sweet, it was kinda hot, it was fantastic. I kissed Ross with my minty tongue, I rubbed against him, I was starting to have too much fun. I could only think in the moment, with the bass, the feel of the music. Then one of the other men led us to the middle of the dance floor, more people, even louder music, they started to sing. We started to sing with them.

"I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
underneath the Christmas tree"

I was having so much fun, I had Ross's arm around me, as we got in the circle and sang to each other. I could fake being a soprano in a crowd. Everyone had a smile, everyone was having almost as much fun as me.

"I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you"

Everyone yelled and clapped when the song was done, then something quieter came on. Ross spun me, I ended up in his arms. We moved to a darker section of the dance floor. The man with the drinks gave us two more and I made him have one with us. The three of us toasted to Christmas, toasted to the DJ, and toasted to this great party that we created and crashed.

I put my arms around Ross's neck, he put his hands on my hips. I was feeling just a little lightheaded, I was feeling very calm, so relaxed, so satisfied. I let him pull me into him, his hard body against me.

"Mmm, I like this, Sabrina." He whispered in my ear.

"So do I, I love to dance. Did you know that I love kissing while I dance?"

"I didn't, but that's good to know, 'cause so do I."

And then he kissed me, it was different, it was slow and deliberate. My fingers went into his hair, his fingers traced my bra strap. He kept pushing into my body and we slowly ground. He was sucking my tongue as I messed up his hair, suddenly I started to orgasm. I held on to him, he watched as my eyelashes flickered, as I felt my panties get moist. He then pushed harder against my crotch. I felt my body shake, as he watched me again, I knew he was cumming too, I knew he was enjoying himself as our bodies rubbed together. I held on, I was enjoying the moment, I think I have been waiting for this moment since the first moment he brought me a white rose.

"My god, " I breathed out, I leaned against him, so satisfied, so happy that the day was turning out extraordinary.

"Ha, wow, I wasn't expecting that." he smiled, kissed my red lips again."

I had such deja vu, I was remembering the first time I danced with a man, a slow dance, a quiet song. I was remembering he made me rub his manhood, he made me suck on his tongue. We heard people and we both came.

I figured that's what you do.

***

The first time I danced with a man I was in Florida.

*

"What the hell, it's my last night here, what could you possibly have to do?" Liz was mad her summer boyfriend was busy. Lately, he was always busy.

"I have to do something with the family, I'm sorry. We still have tomorrow." Hendrix bought her flowers, he brought her coffee, he was trying to be nice to her but she wasn't having any of it. She wasn't believing him. She wanted to see him tonight but she couldn't, he was seeing some strawberry blonde.

*

Since my first afternoon with Hendrix, we sort of became a thing. I would borrow something of Liz's to wear from her hamper or the bag she kept filled with dirty clothes. I didn't mind, usually, I just washed them. I even got to borrow her heels a couple of more times.

Mine and Liz's family were going to the pool today, say goodbye to the friends they made the last four weeks in Miami. Hendrix's mom and dad were going to a luau. I was outside his door, I was praying Liz didn't see me.

He opened, "Hey, c'mon in." I slipped in quickly, my stomach was an acid mess, I was nervous, I thought this was a bad idea. "My mother's things are in the bathroom."

"Okay. Are you sure it's alright?"

"Of course."

He wanted to see me once more before I left his life before he would have to say goodbye to his trans girlfriend. He told me he never even imagined that it was an option, now he was more open-minded, he couldn't wait to get back to New Jersey and find more girls like me, or like Liz. He told me he couldn't wait to investigate the new possibilities.

I had beige panties and pantyhose on under my clothes, I bought them at the little drugstore. I figured I would be gone in a day, who cares what the girl at the counter thought anymore? I also bought false eyelashes and a 'Liquid Lipstick,' I had never worn before. It was called pale mauve, it was beautiful, I hoped it went with the mother's dress.

He knocked, "Here you go." He handed me a plastic cup of red wine.

"When will everyone be back?"

"Not 'til after midnight, we have plenty of time. How 'bout you? Will they miss you?"

I thought, I watched myself apply the lashes. "Maybe, I just told them I was going for a walk on the strip, I told them I was going to stay out late."

"Ahh, great, I can't wait to see you all made up again. Do you like the dress? There are not too many to choose from, ha."

I picked it up. It was long, made of lace and bright white. "It's beautiful." I put on his mother's bra, stuffed with more tissues. I then slipped on the dress. It had thin straps, just barely covering the bra. The front showed just a hint of my breasts, just a hint of cleavage that the bra made. The back was low, just about covering the straps. I then slipped on the shoes. They were wedges, a four-inch heel with ankle straps. They fit better than Liz's heels but I wish I could borrow a pair of hers, but everything was in her case now, everything was by the door waiting to be in the belly of a plane.

I finished my makeup, a little bit of the mother's foundation, a little blush, and a lot of mascara to go with the false lashes. Then I brushed my hair, parted it on the side, I made bangs then pushed them back with a hair band. The band made me look different, even younger, more innocent. I then took a deep breath, I was going to put the lipstick on in front of Hendrix.

"Wow, very nice." He walked closer, but I slipped by him and went to the mirror above the drawers. "I love how much you change, you are a completely different person now." I smiled at him through the mirror I showed him my new lipstick tube. He moved closer and watched me as the mauve covered my lips, it was sticky and shiny. He rubbed me through the dress, he didn't say anything about the color of my lips, he was too busy rubbing himself against me. This is what we generally did together, usually, his manhood would be rubbing against a part of my body.
Anything, he said he liked it all.

*

Later on, when I put my things back into my black bag I noticed the free drink card. "Oooh, I forgot about this."

"We should go."

I smiled, he was teasing, I was enjoying listening to music and drinking his parent's red wine while cuddling on the small couch. He had his arm around me as I rubbed his chest, as he kissed my lips.

"Quick, we'll get a drink then take it back to the room."

I shook my hair, "No, please."

I know how he convinced me, after a long wet kiss we went outside, I held his arm as we walked through the cars in the parking lot, we slipped into a different entrance of the long grass-covered bar.

The bartender looked at my filled-out bra, he remembered me, and we got our free drinks but stayed closer to the back door where it was darker. It was pretty crowded, we were well hidden, but I was ready to go back to the room. I wanted to feel him against me, I wanted to kiss some more.

"Let's stay for a while, don't you like everyone watching you in this dress?"

"I guess, but everyone is looking at my breasts." He smiled, bright white teeth, tan, darker complexion, he was quite gorgeous. With his short dark hair, his tight t-shirt, him and Liz were a great couple, they were both so gorgeous together. I started to feel bad I ruined her last night in Miami. I would have to make it up to her somehow.

He slyly held my breasts as we kissed again, soon the music got lighter, he put his arms on my waist and I leaned into him, he was hard and it made me smile. I thought of myself as a very amateur crossdresser and here I was making a man hard. The thought of it excited me. I pushed my body into him as he started to kiss my neck, then we danced, it felt so good, a couple of others were dancing beside us. My first dance with a man. We started to kiss again, I was going to miss this, miss having a man in my life.

Back in Queens, I was an unpopular boy, but here in Miami, I was a busy woman with a boyfriend, and a friend who was a bartender. "Here you go." He smiled, he pushed his way back through the crowd away from us.

We sipped the new rum drink, then Hendrix saw someone enter the bar. He took my hand and led me to a hallway, even darker, near another exit. We spilled our drinks.

"What's the matter?" I was now nervous, excited, but nervous.

"I just saw Liz and her mom, they were at the front of the bar. Let's stay here, hopefully, they won't stay long."

"I can't believe out of all the places..."

"What it's the bar by the pool, I knew Liz would come in sooner or later. You know her." He smiled at me, I could tell he liked that she was only a couple of yards away. I could tell he was wishing he got caught with another woman.

We were surrounded by brooms, boxes, cases of beer. I had to calm down, relax, so we started dancing again, all alone and holding each other in this tight little spot with just a bit of light trickling in. He put my hand on his crotch and I started to rub him. He licked and bit my naked shoulders, he kissed my neck and cheek. I continued to play with him, he was getting harder.

"I have an idea."

He put me against the wall, I could feel the music on my back. He fondled my breasts. "I am going to miss these."

"So am I, I wish I was bigger."

"Really? Bigger? A Double-D maybe?"

I giggled, he was still rubbing me. "Mmm, I think I would love that, maybe when I get older my body will fill out more."

"Ha, maybe." He then kissed my neck, then chest, breasts, then bent his knees, he started kissing my belly as he rubbed the fake boobs in his mother's bra. He got lower, pushing his face into my crotch, kissing the lace that was covering me. His hands went on my ass as he pushed his face harder into me, moving around, making me excited.

"Sabrina?"

"Mmm." I was quiet, I didn't want anyone to hear us.

"I want you to imagine I am making love to you."

I opened my eyes, he looked up. "What? No, let's go back to the room, please."

"No, don't worry, it will be fun."

I was thinking it won't be, someone will hear, and what does that even mean? "No please." I moved off the wall, but he stood in front of me, he was so much stronger, he was a good three inches taller than me while I was in his mother's wedges.

He started to kiss my neck as he held me tight. We then kissed and I forgot all about his plan, Liz and the others in the bar. We could barely hear them, barely even hear the music, just feel it. He made me undo his button and zipper to his pants and I played with his cock through the briefs. He was whispering directions to me as I kneaded his hard dick. I then brought his shorts and briefs down to his knees, I stood back up and we kissed again, me grabbing his hard cock.

"First we bring up your dress." He bunched it up in his fingers and I took hold, exposing my legs, my pantyhose, and panties. He started to rub his hard cock against me. "Do you like this?"

"Mmm."

He moved back and bent a little, he positioned his cock under me, under my 'pussy.' He started to move, slightly thrusting, I closed my eyes, I could feel the pressure as he pushed against my tucked 'clit.'

"God this feels great," He said as he held my arms, as he pushed his manhood into me, thrusting against my 'pussy.' "I am going inside of you." He then kissed my lips, "My cock is hard I am starting to fuck you. I am sliding right inside of your pussy." He started moving harder, pushing me more forcibly against the wall. His cock was thrusting under me, I was getting excited, I held onto his neck with one hand, still holding my dress up with the other. "Do you like my cock going inside of you?"

"Mmm, yes." I bit my lip as he thrust some more, as he held and shook my body, kissing my neck and cheek. He kept pushing as I held on, I was banging against the wall, I was enjoying his body almost thrusting into me.

After a couple of minutes, he whispered in my ear. "I am going in deeper, you are so tight. My little virgin is going to cum with me, I am going to get her very pregnant." He laughed.

"Are you? Oh my god, baby, I love this, I am ready to cum."

"Of course you are, you are getting fucked, little girl, you are giving me your virginity." He breathed out as he kept pushing, thrusting. Soon I couldn't take any more, I let go of the dress and held onto his shoulders as I moaned, I held in a scream, I felt his orgasm start just as I came into my panties. He kept pressing his cock into me. Soon his cum was all over me, he was kissing and licking my neck, his cum was dripping down my pantyhose and panties. His hands were now on my ass rubbing the nylon. We held each other tighter, his cock feeling even harder than before, making the wet dress wet. I had to close my eyes, he was shaking me, pushing me more into the wall.

"Ahh," I breathed out, I had to stop moving. I grabbed his face and we kissed. We made out harder, more sloppy against the wall, vibrating with the bass of the music. I was holding him too tight, I was loving the afterglow. Slowly his tongue left my mouth, he pulled up his briefs, his pants, and I rubbed his cum into my dress, pantyhose, and into my crotch, I let my hem fall and smoothed out my dress. I would now have cum on it just like Liz, just like millions of other girls.

"Would you be angry if I said I had sex with Liz in this same spot?"

"Um, really?" I was trying to fix my hair, take it out of my lashes. "No, I wouldn't be angry." I smiled, "Do you have a place back home where you take all of your girls?" I was trying to be cute but I was a little sore, I wanted to rub my crotch but I didn't think it was appropriate.

"I do, but I have never taken two such beautiful New Yorkers like you and Liz, ha." He grinned wide as he laughed, as he kissed me once more. Taking my waist we walked back into the crowded loud bar. On my last night in Florida, I was wearing a dress and it was fantastic, perfect, I would remember it forever.

"What the fuck! Who is this?"

Liz didn't recognize me, she didn't even look at me, she yelled at Hendrix, she pushed him. I got so nervous as I moved closer towards the front door, past the bartender, past the pool, passed the families, past my family's hotel door, and upstairs to his. I waited and hid by the ferns. I closed my eyes, I was a little drunk and still so excited, of course I didn't have a plan.

******

"Mmm, ahhhhh..." I was stretching, I was sort of pushing the roof of Ross's car, then tapping it with my long nails. "That felt so good, I needed that."

Ross was watching me, he had a weird little smile on his face. "Me too. Mmm, are we ready to venture back to Smithville?"

"I think we are." I leaned against him as he put on his seat belt. I licked his lips, I was flirting, I was in quite a sensuous mood all of a sudden.

We had fallen asleep in the car, in the parking lot. It was nice and romantic, me in my new coat and him under me, my arms around him keeping him warm. I dreamt of warmer climates, tropical. I dreamt of a place with no snow, a place where I became myself and met someone who would change my life. And now I feel it was changing once again.

Sometimes in your life, you finish a chapter, you put down your book, you decide to cruise, take in the scenery, and organize your bookshelves instead of reading. You go about your life, you meander. Then someone drops a huge hardcover book into your lap, your hands finger it, beautiful illustrations on the front, blurbs from famous authors and personalities around the world on the back. You start to explore, you take it all in. You start to realize another metamorphosis is coming. Sometimes you know it's happening, but sometimes you don't realize it until later.

Holding Ross, feeling his heartbeat, his breath on my neck, I knew there was going to be a change, a major one, I knew life was picking up speed just like it did when I was eighteen and on vacation in Miami. I knew I was more mature and more ready for changes now. I was more than happy, feeling the huge, heavy metaphorical book on my lap.

"It's still early, can we go to your restaurant?"

He smiled, he kissed me quickly on the lips. "We can, we will be there before ten. Everyone will be glad to see you."

*

Saturday night in Historic Smithville. Nothing like a Saturday night in Middle Village, Astoria, or even Flushing. Queens was full of subways, cabs, Ubers, people going out for the night. Here people stayed in, sat by the fire, rested from shoveling or cooking a big dinner for the family. Main Street was crowded tonight, the week before Christmas, it looked like NO one was home sitting by the fire. The lights of Ruffinos were on, the orange glow of the restaurant showing the interior, showing people, showing life.

We walked into the crowd, lots of clinking, me with my new coat. We waved to our favorite bartender as she made room at the front bar. "Look at this, you two were gone all day. Sabrina your hair is gorgeous." She reached over and played with my ponytail, shaking her own. "Ha, I have something special for YOU."

"Looks like she was missing you." Ross talked over the crowd and I giggled, I was having fun already.

Soon he had something dark in a pint glass, me something red, fancy and looking great in my hand. "Here you are, a cranberry martini, it goes perfectly with your nails."

I smiled and we cheered, soon we were surrounded by Jada and the two husbands. We sang all the Christmas songs that were played, we yelled over all the choruses, I drank every bright red martini Rachel put in front of me.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"What's that?" I kinda yelled in Ross's ear. The beeps' were quite deafening.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Oh, the security system. There is kind of a glitch!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP

He went behind the bar and sat in front of a computer as the alarm beeped louder and louder. People were getting nervous, the music was completely drowned out, the conversations completely stopped. I ran behind the bar with him, I looked over his shoulder, I could tell he didn't know what he was doing. I didn't want to mention, that um, I did.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I called into his ear. "Get me a pencil and a piece of paper."

BEEP BEEP BEEP

He looked at me for a beat too long, but then he shook his head and suddenly took off. The beeps sounded louder than before, I could see Rachel, Jada, and the husbands watching me, the quiet reddish-blonde studying the computer screen. Ross returned, handing me the items. I pressed a couple of keys on the keyboard with the eraser part of the pencil, my nails were too long to type.

BEEP BE

The beeping stopped mid-beep. The crowd cheered and I started to giggle.

"What's the password?"

I handed him the paper and pencil, he wrote, I watched, I was having fun, the music was still playing and everyone was watching us. They were watching me with my new ponytail, my new nails, I was the new girl in town wielding a pencil. I looked at the slip and typed the letters into the computer, one character at a time. I asked him more questions than he was ready to answer.

"Done. Next time it beeps it means you are being burgled." I giggled again, Ross kissed me hard, then I got a hug from Rachel. I had to explain I work in IT, I work in security, I used to work for an alarm company years ago, almost every summer, I was very familiar with this security system. I held up the paper with the password then put it into my mouth, I chewed, I swallowed with help from the martini. "Your password is very safe." Ross rubbed my belly and laughed, we were having too much fun.

"Hey is everything okay?" I heard a deep voice cutting through the music, we all turned around. I was still holding my martini glass, Ross's still had his arm around me. "The alarm, is it still acting up?" I looked over the slight crowd. A man was walking over to us, he was holding hands with Sara. "I can take a look if you want."

I felt like I was caught wearing someone else's dress.

***

I was caught wearing someone else's dress one time in Florida.

*

A man with clippers told me I was hiding behind a Cinnamon Fern, next to me was a Royal Fern, and hanging above us in baskets were Boston ones. He handed me a sunflower, I was on my knees, I was waiting for Hendrix, now I was holding a flower.

"That's a Beach Sunflower, smell it, it is wonderful." He smiled, he never asked why I was hiding behind the ferns, he just cut around me. I had leaves on my bare shoulders.

"Thank you, it's very nice." I sniffed again, my nose was yellow. I scrunched it in the black bag, I stood up. I saw Liz. "Shit." I tried not to move, I was hoping she didn't see me, I was hoping she didn't notice the guy with the sheers. She started walking closer, I knelt down again, I was very close to the man's crotch. I would suck him off if I knew it would get Liz off of my scent. I was in his way, he was pushing me with his large hands, but I kept on moving in front of him, trying to stay hidden. It didn't work.

"YOU are the one my boyfriend is seeing on the side?" Liz looked mad, she had one hand on her hip, she was pointing at me with her short coral nail. "What the fuck?"

"No, it is not me miss sorry." I slipped away as the man with the giant scissors distracted her. I ran to the stairs, slightly tripping, I landed against a wall then hid behind more Boston Ferns.

"Sam!" Liz was yelling, I would have to let her see me. I have the seat right next to her on the plane tomorrow, she will ask me a zillion questions either way. I walked out of the ferns. Liz just watched and shook her head. She looked at my feet. "What you can't run in Wedges? What kind of girl are you?"

*

We were on lounge chairs near the closed pool, the lights were off, I had my chin on my soft wet knees, the long white dress covering my legs. I had Liz in front of me and Hendrix in his own lounge to my right.

"I think you should wear this outfit tomorrow on the plane. Then we will be even." Liz kept picking at Hendrix's mom's lace dress, she wasn't as angry as before. While I was hiding in the ferns, Hendrix was not making believe he was fucking her in our spot. In all of our spot.

"Please, don't say that. I'm sorry about this." I thought I was going to cry again, I couldn't even look her in the eyes.

"Oh stop, I'm only kidding, you look great. If it wasn't for that stupid hair color of yours I wouldn't even of known it was you. Nobody has your red, everyone in Florida is blonde."

"Plus I almost told you." Hendrix was drinking something orange, he was loving this little conversation.

"Mmm, plus Mr. Secrecy over here almost spilled everything. Let a man in your panties and he will tell you almost anything. There you go, your first piece of advice from one who knows too much."

We ended up talking and drinking coffee for a while, I felt like the third wheel. I even let Liz see my legs in the hose, I even let her check out the wedges close up but she didn't approve, she was going to buy me pumps once we got back to Queens.

I changed clothes and washed the makeup off of my face in Hendrix's hotel room while they made out on the couch. I walked past them, and out the door, I didn't want to bother them, I really didn't want him to see me without lipstick.

"Hey, Sabrina!"

I turned, the two of them were by the door just as his parents made it home.

"Sabrina, thanks." Hendrix was waving to me, his parents were wondering why this non-descript boy had such a girlie name. "I'll say goodbye to you tomorrow."

The next day Liz made me wear her lingerie under my boy clothes on the plane. I was so nervous, I imagined everyone could see my bra strap, see my shiny nylon ankles. I was so tense thinking I was walking too femme, feeling too female. I was glad the rest of the friends and family were on the other side of the plane. I read my romance novel, I had my legs crossed enjoying the slight liquid feel of the pantyhose.

Every once in a while Liz would reach over and squeeze my thigh. I think it was a warning. "Listen, sister," She whispered just before we landed. "In a couple of weeks, we are heading to the Shore. I need to pick up where I left off last night, ha. You are going to have to find yourself a different boyfriend."

***

It was still snowing outside, I found myself a different boyfriend.

*

The two of them had snow on their shoulders.

"Hey Jim, Sara, what are you two having?" Rachel made more room at the bar, everyone shifted making space for the new couple. My hand started to shake, I had to put down the martini glass.

"Coffee for me, decaf."

"I'll have what Ross is having." He then kissed Rachel on the cheek.

"Okay, baby brother." Rachel smiled at me after she revealed who James was. I looked at her again but she didn't look familiar to me, well at least beyond our meeting here at the restaurant.

I was still feeling so uncomfortable, so exposed. I never spent time with Sara and her new boyfriend, they saw each other on the side. He would never even come to the house, they would always meet somewhere, I liked that they kept me uninvolved with their relationship. I was usually home, dressing in front of my mirror not outside in the world socializing with friends at a crowded local restaurant.

"We heard the alarm, figured I would see if I could do something again." Jim gave Rachel their coats, I tried to hide behind Ross and Jada's husband, I tried to act like it was just another Saturday night.

I felt Ross's arm slide up my back, he moved me in front of him, "Well, surprisingly we had a professional, right here at the bar. And all she needed was a pencil." He kissed the side of my hair.

James smiled, "Of course."

I grinned embarrassingly as the two of them looked at me, as Sara's eyes took in my new hair, my new eyebrows, maybe even the new set of earrings. "A pencil?"

Ross lifted my hand, showing off my longer-than-usual nails. I wiggled them out of a force of habit, sprinkling some magic on the crowd. Sara shook her head, I could tell she didn't approve of the length or color. I could tell she didn't believe in magic.

"So you are beautiful and talented, very nice. What was the problem?" James didn't seem that surprised.

I finally made eye contact, I have spoken to him before of course, he wasn't the one that made me nervous. "Um, I just checked the logs, whenever the power dipped it set off the alarms. It won't go off for that anymore." And I shrugged, I smushed my red lips together, I was being cute and uncomfortable at the same time.

"Ahh, very good, that can happen. When you are ready for a career change you can come work for me, ha."

Sara gave him a look, I could tell she didn't like him talking to me, or calling me beautiful and talented. After a couple of sips of her coffee, she took my arm, and we went into the ladies' room together. I was missing Ross's arm around me, I was missing being surrounded by people instead of darker tile and porcelain, oh, and a strong disapproving glare.

"What's with the hair?"

"Oh, Jada fixed it for me, why you don't like it?" I was looking at her through the mirror, she was focused on the ponytail, I didn't realize it was so high. I was washing my hands, I was trying to act casual but it wasn't working.

"Stop, I didn't say that. It's just, well, it's pretty different and is it your hair? No wig? Since when have you been this adventurous with a style and some color?"

I just shrugged, I didn't want to talk about me."You look nice. I never saw that top before."

"Well, Jim and I went shopping after we watched a couple of movies. Now that you are out, well, out of the closet, maybe you will go shopping with us. You can take your new boyfriend. I can see he can't keep his hands off of you."

"Mmm."

"Maybe you shouldn't let him get so handsy, you know, in front of everybody."

"Mmm."

I started fixing my hair, brushing the tendrils, fluffing the ponytail, I knew she wanted to talk about Ross, but I didn't want to discuss it. I put on more lipstick as she watched, as she waited for something, anything. I never told her when I was presenting female I liked men, though I could tell now, she knew all along. She seemed surprised that I was enjoying myself, that I had a new look that wasn't so easily changed. It was going to be hard reverting back to her husband after the holiday and she knew it. I smiled at her through the mirror, my new darker red looking fantastic, looking sexy enough to have a boyfriend waiting for me to leave lip prints all over him. I was thinking we should leave soon, I was thinking I didn't want to tell her what I had planned in my mind. What I was planning on doing with my new boyfriend's lips and body.

"Don't you think it's a little crazy we are in the ladies' room together, and two men are waiting for us on the other side of this door?"

I quickly looked into her eyes, I didn't know what to say. I felt like I was talking to Liz all those years ago. Sara sometimes didn't seem like she was disapproving of me. I could tell on some level she liked it, it was probably turning her on a little too. Just like it did Liz all those years ago.

"I guess."

"I guess, you gotta be kidding me. C'mon let's go back, I want to see you acting all girlie and sexy with a man that can't keep his hands off of you. You can push your big boobies into him. Ha..." And she giggled all the way through the door and back to the crowd. Of course, Ross immediately grabbed my waist and kissed me, he even slipped in his tongue. I could tell my being with the wife was turning him on a little too. I was wondering if I was the only one who was uncomfortable in this situation, I wanted to be kissing in the snow, not in front of other people.

Soon both Sara and I were on the laps of our men, close to the bar finishing our drinks. It was fun, it was even more crowded and I was starting to relax, but I was also getting a little excited and I could tell, so was Ross. I felt his manhood grow underneath me. I wiggled a couple of times to tease him as I smiled at Jada, I could tell she knew exactly what I was doing.

"So I was thinking," Jada took the two strands surrounding my face, she was twirling them in her fingers. "I ordered some extensions in this wonderful color of yours. Come on in and we will make you even more stunning."

"Okay."

"You know, you are probably the only real redhead in this bar, maybe even the town, ha."

"Can I watch this time?" Ross was asking Jada, she giggled some more.

"You can, I also have something I want to do with these lips." She lightly tapped them as I smiled, I forgot there was Sara and other people around us watching. "I have lots of plans for you, why don't you come in on Wednesday afternoon? I am having the Christmas party that night, so you can come all sexy with perfectly plump lips, ha."

"Okay, I would love that."

Sara watched the whole exchange, I could tell she couldn't believe I was offering to go to a salon and getting invited to a party.

Jada turned towards Sara and James, "You two are coming right?"

"Of course, we can't wait."

"We better go. Ready, baby?" Ross once again kissed my cheek as I wiggled my bottom.

"Oh? Sure whenever you are." And we kissed once again as he squeezed me, I was loving this, loving being the easy girlfriend of the bar owner. I was just wondering where we were going.

"Goodnight." Ross waved to everyone as we headed outside, me, now in my brand new long coat, me with my brand new outlook getting covered in snow.

*

"I don't know why but having Sara and Jim see us together was exciting."

We were in his car a couple of blocks away from the restaurant, we were away from the town, the lights, the little crowd in the orange glow of the bar.

"Really?" I asked, I knew he liked that, I knew he wanted his hands on my red dress. I took off my seat belt, I slid closer, I had my coat wrapped around me tightly. "It is not cheating if your partner knows. So what do you mean exactly?"

And he started to laugh, he put his nose into my neck, under my chin. I felt him kiss, felt his face in my hair. "I don't really know, ha, we could discuss. Would you like to come see my house? I live, right, there." And he pointed, he had his finger aiming at a white house, snow surrounding it, a lampost right in front. "And Rachel and Mike live there." As he pointed to the house fifty feet away. Dark red, front porch light on, just waiting for them to return.

I slid away, I gave him a devious smile. I opened the door and stepped out, I started running in my heels to his house, I slipped, I fell in the snow. I heard his car door open and close, I got up and ran some more. I ran through his gate, to the back of the house, clicking on the dark slate. I hid behind a tree, just like all those years ago in front of beautiful ferns with a man protecting me with his sheers.

"Sabrina?"

I heard him call, I was quiet, I was still, I was loving this but my feet were freezing. I was doing a little dance trying to stay warm.

"Sabrina, I can hear you breathe, I can smell your perfume."

When he got closer I took off again, headed for some far-off trees. I slid some more, I tumbled into another small hill of whiteness. I felt my face was full of melting snow, I looked up, he was hovering, he had a huge smile on his face. He held out his hand but I moved past it and went for his dark crotch, I felt for his manhood, he was so hard. I started to rub as my teeth started to chatter, as my body shivered in my new light pink coat. I loved how my long nails played with him, I loved the contrast of the red and the dark brown.

"You are still excited."

"Baby you are crazy, oh and of course I am." He crouched down and took the snow out of my hair. "Would you like to see my house, or would you like me to bring you some tea right here in this beautiful bed of snow?"

"Um, tea please."

*

"Ross?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think we are in the middle of nowhere?"

He helped me onto his couch, holding my wet coat. I lay down, I stretched, I lifted my wet feet.

"Mentally or physically?"

"Ahh, very good. Let me rephrase, ha. Do you think we are in the middle of nowhere geographically?" And I smiled, I loved that he said that. I loved talking to someone about something other than bills, traffic, and relatives.

He took off my heels and gingerly placed them on the floor right next to the couch. I put my feet up and shook, I wanted him to take care of me, take off my stockings, my feet were soaked but the rest of me was fine.

"Hmm, I think we are in the middle of everywhere." He smiled as he pulled down my pantyhose, his fingers on my waist, my thighs, and my calves. I held my panties, just in case they slipped down. He lay the wet stockings on one of the chairs. I fixed my dress, covering myself a little better. He then sat and started lightly kissing my toes. He watched me as my painted toes grazed his cheeks. Slowly he moved up licking my knees, there was a touch of snow, a little drip of wetness. "Mmm, you taste great, right here in the middle of everywhere."

"I think that is the correct answer. Did you know that I have been to Smithtown before, Port Republic too, I would come to South Jersey when I was younger. I even had jobs, I used to work on the beaches too."

"Did you?"

"Mmm, selling pretzels and ice cream. Oh and installing alarms, ha."

"Really. Too bad we never met, I used to go to the Shore every summer, from a teenager until I got married." He then started kissing the inside of my thighs, my body was shivering. I started to play with his hair as he licked and kissed some more. He made his way up my belly through the thin red dress, he glazed over my breasts, neck, then chin. He was watching me, he was so close, I put my hands on his face, I wanted to remember his features, I wanted to feel the beard growing on his chin and cheeks. Every time I thought he was going to kiss me he would pull back. My heart would beat like crazy then be disappointed. He would get so close, I could feel his breath on my nose, my lips, even my long lashes when he moved higher up. I couldn't take anymore I finally took hold of his hair above his ears with my long fingers, in a tight grip I brought him to my lips. We kissed I let him enter me, I let his hands wander over my breasts.

"You like to tease me."

"Do I?"

"Mmm."

"Well not on purpose."

I let him move back, I gave him that look that I perfected. I learned it from Sara, it was a cross between being angry and suddenly realizing you are in the middle of everything, everywhere. I grabbed his head again and we kissed, harder, his tongue making its way over my teeth, playing with my tongue. I moved my body upwards and we tumbled to the floor, we were now rolling around his rug, his hands all over the rest of my dress and body. My nails scratching his cheeks and chest.

I smiled at him, sliding my hand down to his crotch, I unzipped his pants as he played with the D cups. Soon I had his cock in my hand. "We have been together all day." I moaned then rubbed my lips and nose against him as I kneaded his hard manhood.

"We have. I never had so much fun in my life." He then kissed me hard again as his manhood rolled around my hands, as I tickled and played. "Remember we had a fantastic lunch and were singing with all those people in Philly?"

"Mmm, I do baby."

"It feels like a million years ago." He moved up, he took off his shoes and pants as I started to unbutton his shirt. We were sitting up on our knees, I had his cock in my hands, he had his hands on my waist. We kissed, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, I was enjoying myself too much, I was getting too excited about being with a semi-naked man.

"Remember we even went shopping, I bought my first coat," I remembered, I closed my eyes, my mind racing.

He pulled me down onto him and I slipped down his body.

He had his hands in my hair as I descended onto his hard cock. "Ahh, and you fixed my alarm, you met everyone at the restaurant, you let me rub your body all night. Then you ran away from me."

I pulled the head of his cock out of my mouth, "But I let you catch me." And I took him into my mouth again, he was breathing heavily, he was thrusting his body into my mouth. He slipped out again leaving a thin rope of precum from me to him. "I don't let just anybody catch me." And I sucked some more.

"I'm glad I'm the lucky one." He ran his fingers through my hair again, "God, you feel great, it is incredible that we met, crazy but incredible."

"We would have met sooner or later." Then I turned around, I hovered over his cock as I slid my ass in his face. I felt his lips on me through my dress as I pushed into him, as I took him back into my mouth. I sucked as he rubbed and kissed my ass. Soon I was feeling dizzy, I didn't know what was happening, I was too excited. Ross was grunting and thrusting his hardness into my mouth. I slipped off of him, I couldn't concentrate with him massaging and licking my backside. I put my mouth slowly on his cock again and moved him through my lips. I felt the head hit the back of my throat, I let him out slowly. I did this for so long as he played with my pony, as he pulled and twirled it around his large fingers.

I felt my body vibrate, shiver, I suddenly felt myself start to cum The front of my panties were getting so wet, cum was leaking out of the slit in my flesh panties. I rubbed against his naked side, and stomach, leaving a new trail of wetness on him.

I sat on his legs, bending over, looking at him. "Ross, I need you, I want you to cum for me." He started to pump himself with both hands, he was moving so fast and his cock was brushing against my chin and my tongue. I played, feeling the pre-cum drip down his cock making it even easier to rub. Suddenly he moaned, he grunted even louder and a huge string of cum shot out of his cock. It landed on my eyes, in my hair. I took him into my mouth, he pushed all the way to the back of my throat again as I sucked, felt his jism go down my throat, I swallowed it all. I then pulled off and licked him clean. His fingers playing with my ponytail again. I smiled at him and moved the bit of jism from my cheek and nose, sliding it into my lips with my long red nail.

I swallowed again, I showed him my empty tongue, he was watching, he was smiling. "Mmm, thank you for that, baby." He leaned back, he stretched and I lay on top of him, trying to keep him warm with my slightly smaller body.

I was surprised I was acting so flirty and sexual around him, part of me wasn't ready for that, but the other part thought 'why have I waited so long.' I still tasted him on my lips as we fell asleep on his rug, pushed against the couch. His cum inside me reminded me of the first man I ever had in my mouth, the first time a man made me so excited that I climaxed. The first time a man told me I could never fall in love with him.

***

It was nine years ago, we were near the Jersey Shore.

*

"Come on let's go."

"I'm not wearing these, they are way too big."

Hendrix had his arms folded he was waiting for me, we had work to do. "That was the size you told me you want to be, come on let me see them."

I wouldn't move, I wouldn't leave the mirror.

"Sabrina c'mon, we are gonna be late."

Liz said it would be a great idea to work with Hendrix over the summer, install alarms during the week, serve ice cream on the weekends. Now it was the weekend and I was wearing a green summer dress, short, see-through. I was wearing a Double D-cup bra, a little tape, and falsies pushing up my own breasts, creating a decent-looking cleavage. I wouldn't leave the mirror.

"Just think how big the tips will be with breasts that big."

"I don't know." He then walked into the bedroom, the one I shared with his younger sister and her Bichon Frise. He was suddenly behind me, I watched him through the mirror, his hands went and started fondling the larger breasts. I leaned forward, my red hair finally longer and in my eyes, reaching past my shoulders.

"Wow, these feel incredible, maybe tonight you can visit me. I won't say anything to Liz."

"Hendrix, stop teasin'." He then grabbed my hand, we drove to the beach, I made so much money in tips that weekend, I had so many dates. I made so much money the entire summer, the entire NEXT summer, and the one after that. I loved going to Seaside Heights, Point Pleasant, or Cape May, anywhere there was work, anywhere we could sell ice cream or pretzels. Anywhere I could wear my Double D-cups and a thin flowered flouncy dress. It was wonderful. I hated going back to Middle Village, to my parent's house.

Every summer Hendrix let me take him into my mouth just the once, he would guide me, teach me. The beginning of my visit and that was it. The first moment he saw me in a skirt, in heels, his cock would come out and he would smile. I tried to make it last I knew this was it, I soon realized we were friends and not lovers, but he knew it way before I did.

I would stay with his sister in Jersey but he would end up spending most of June and July commuting between here and Queens, Liz never came to the shore. Every summer we worked hard, we played hard, we became even better friends. He told me what he loved, I told him the same. He told me he loved Liz, he begged me to get her to move to New Jersey with him or anywhere, he wanted to be with her all the time but she was working, she had other boyfriends, she had men. We realized it was never going to happen, but I knew what he liked, I knew his type. I knew he liked the opposite of me. A quiet coffee drinker with a Queens accent, not a trans redhead with Double-D breasts.

***

End of Part 4 & 5

A Sister 'til Christmas 6
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: We have made it through the snow to the final chapter. Of course, it is the most festive... filled with parties and songs, filled with Christmas cocktails and friends, filled with backstories, histories and a little magic... ha...

I hope YOU like it...

***

'Baby, won't you tell me
What am I to do
I'm in the middle of nowhere
Getting nowhere with you'

Sara was brushing her hair, short, dark brown, a little darker at the tips. She wanted a quiet day in front of the television, she wanted someone to make her coffee, someone to do whatever she asked. She was still on vacation, on a break, she wanted to take advantage of the mellowness of the new house, the beautiful view of the fallen snow through the picture window, the warmth of the big blanket on the back of her sectional.

Then the front doorbell rang. She knew her day was going to veer off in a different direction unless she did something about it.

*

Whoosh, whoosh, clink. I had so many outfits in my closet, so many that looked like costumes.

The TV was on, Sara was extra quiet, I had made her dinner, I had made her cappuccino, she was content for a while. I was showing Ross my roses and the inside of my closet, revealing all of my dresses, all my high heels. I couldn't believe she let me bring him into my room again. I couldn't believe I wanted him to pick out a dress for me to wear to Jada's party the next night.

"Do you like this color?" I showed him a gold dress, sparkly, I would never wear it out but I would wear it for him if he liked it.

"I do. I especially love what you have on." I was wearing an orange and white plaid gingham dress, it had puffy sleeves, a tight waist, and a full skirt. I felt like a doll in it. I had on brown cowboy boots with a three-inch heel, and a matching bag over my shoulder, like I was going out shopping or to visit neighbors. He slid his hands over my ass, feeling the smoothness of the dress, my pantyhose, even the padded panties. I turned and he pulled me into him, we kissed. I had my hands around his shoulders, my breasts pushing into him. He ran his fingers over my back, my bra strap. My eyes opened wide, I had the bedroom door open. His tongue was inside of me as I stared at the empty hall, hoping Sara didn't get up from her program, hoping she didn't investigate what her sneaky slutty 'sister' was up to. I wasn't used to this, having a man in my room... in our house, it made me uncomfortable.

"Um, Ross, can I show you the trees in the back, they look so beautiful after the snowfall." I smiled, he kissed me some more. I didn't want him to know I was worried about the wife, I wanted him to think I had options with a man in my room.

"Okay, that will be great."

"You might have to help me, my boots are going to be slippery."

*

I called to Sara, told her we were going outside. We were putting on our coats when she walked in on us, I turned around surprised.

"What are you going outside for?"

"Um, I want to show him our property, show him the pines." I shrugged, I would show him those things besides some other things.

"Are you going to change your boots? You can wear a pair of mine."

I looked down, I had on the only boots I owned, all my other shoes were either pumps or sandals, these made me just a touch taller and they were made for grass and probably horses but not snow. Plus, I definitely wasn't going to exchange these for her Uggs, it would be easier to reach his lips with the extra inches. "No, we'll be quick." I smiled, "We will be right back."

She watched us both suspiciously as we went out the side door. She watched us from the kitchen window as we walked deeper into the backyard. Ross held my hand, we walked slowly. My toes were getting cold right away walking in the icy inches. I was holding my coat tightly around me. We ducked under one of the larger trees, the ground was dry, there were only a few brown leaves by our feet.

We started to kiss again. I could tell Ross liked the idea that Sara was only a few yards away, hidden by trees. I opened his jacket and slipped my hands inside, pulling him tighter to me, my face resting on his shoulder. "Mmm, I could stay like this all day."

"Me too." He ran his fingers through my ponytail, I didn't want to tell him it would be gone tomorrow. I was thinking I would be a completely different 'girl' after leaving Jada's salon the next afternoon. I was also thinking sadly that I might be a completely different person on Christmas day.

I looked up, he was taller than me, even in the higher heels. He was so masculine, so solid, so tall and so hard, I missed him the last couple of days. Sara thought I was talking about him too much, bothering him at work or with phone calls. She told me to take a break and I did. She took a break from James too, she said she didn't mind if we just relaxed, just watched TV or the snow, just getting prepared for the rest of the holidays and the visit from the family. Ross begged me to let him visit, I was very easily swayed.

I kissed the side of his lips. "I have been baking the last couple of days."

"You've been busy, it smelled wonderful in the kitchen."

My pink wool kept me warm as I put my hands on his chest, as I pushed my softer, orange and white body against him. I decided to pull his shirt out of his pants, I giggled, I had the cutest little smile while I fumbled with his flannel. I watched him watch me as I started to undo his pants, the button, the zipper, my hand now on his briefs. I felt I was turning into someone different, something more sexual, more spontaneous.

"I'm sorry it's so cold, and you are so warm." I played with him, my long nails feeling his manhood. "I want to do something. Do you think it will be alright? Do you think Sara will see us?"

He looked back toward the house, He had a wide grin careening across his face, he played with my hair again, he bent and kissed me. "I don't know, but I hope not. Do you want her to see us?"

"No, at least I don't think so. This morning she told me that my voice becomes higher and more feminine when I am with you. She said I sounded like a teenage girl when we were at the restaurant the other night."

He looked at me, he started licking his lips, he was watching mine. "I love your voice. I would like you to leave me messages every night, I want your voice the last thing I hear before I fall to sleep." He kissed me again, his tongue went inside my mouth and I sucked him, he twirled in my mouth, I slowly pulled away.

"You," I touched his lips with my long nail. "Are teasing me again."

"I'm not, I love your voice, I also love your lips." And he kissed me harder, deeper. "Would you believe that I even love your boots?"

"Boobs?"

"Ha, that too."

He opened my coat and grabbed the two of them, both our arms were hidden from view by our respective outer clothing. He rubbed, he fondled, I liked how he was handing me, how he made me squirm and feel. He slid his one hand under my short dress, he slid the other into the front of my pantyhose, playing with me as I played with his hard cock.

He made a face. "You feel, um, nice."

"Do I? I have on a pair of weird panties. Sara gave them to me, an early Christmas gift." I then took my hands and pushed him more into my silicone 'vagina.' I felt his finger slip in, I felt him rub and explore. I gasped. "That's not really me, I'm sorry."

"No? It feels nice. Do you like when I do this?" His fingers pressed hard, his palm pushing against me. I felt him pushing on my 'clit.'

I stopped, I paid attention, "I think I do. Ha." I giggled, then we talked quietly as we fondled each other, me with his cock in my hands and him with my small 'clit' moving with his fingers. I told him about the special panties while his three fingers felt inside of them.

We were rubbing and kissing. I could never explain to him that it wasn't this that made me excited, it was the conversation, the whispers in my ear, the compliments about my hair and dress. Even the memory of us at his restaurant talking to our friends. I wondered if he would ever understand a girl like me, one that worried about her appearance, her mannerisms, even her scent constantly.

"You smell so good, you smell like Christmas morning."

After that it didn't take long until we both started cumming, both of us kissing and giggling, pushing into each other, and trying to stay warm in all this wool. My body started shaking as I tried to hold on to him, tried not to slide down to the leaves, tried not to take him down with me.

I had a handful of cum as I brought it to my lips, as I wiped it all on my waiting tongue. "Mmm, you taste even better today. Like cinnamon." I gave him my wide grin and then licked the rest. I stuck my tongue in his mouth and we shared some. He then put his wet fingers in front of my face, tracing my lips with his sticky digits, giving me a new wet lip gloss. The front of my pantyhose was slightly damp and soon we pushed our bodies together, making me wish we would be frozen and stuck together for the rest of the darkening afternoon.

We heard footsteps in the snow. We held each other's bodies as we turned toward the sound. My dress was hidden by my long coat, but still raised and now stuck into the top of my pantyhose, exposing my front and nylon ass. Ross's pants and briefs slightly dipped below his upper thigh, barely staying up.

"What the hell are you two doing?"

We were quiet, I felt caught, I felt like I was back in Florida as a teen or at my parents' house hiding in the bathroom with a pair of my mother's heels, her underwear, her new scarf, and nail polish.

"Shit. Jada called, she wants you to call her back." Sara was watching as we were still embraced, she was looking at us, annoyed we had to go out among the trees and in the cold to be alone, our coats hiding his returning erection. "She has questions about something, um, Ross you better go, Sabrina, will see you tomorrow at the party."

His pants fell below his knees.

***

"What are you doing?"

Years ago, my mother was holding a weird little hook, metal, looked like a paper clip that lost its shape. She was glaring at me but I was quiet. I was twenty-two, I was too old to be caught slipping into my mother's two-inch heels while wearing one of Liz's dresses, thankfully hiding my mother's panties from view. I was too old to be caught with her red scarf and nail polish in my hands.

"What are you doing with that?"

She made me get changed, she made me clean up the bathroom, she told me she could override the lock with this little piece of metal. She shook it, she held it up like it was the holy grail. It was the nail polish all over the bed, the pillowcases again, she wasn't happy. She asked me a million questions, she made me nervous only because she was so disapproving.

"I'm calling Liz." She called, "She's coming over, get dressed like a man, sometimes you are so ridiculous." An hour later Liz was watching me as I was racing around my room, cleaning, trying to stuff my girl things even deeper into my closet, under books, inside the drop ceiling. She told me to relax, she told me she would figure out something, she laughed at my fumbling and said everything will be fine.

A month later I met a girl, she looked just like Liz, they could have been sisters. Four of us went out for hamburgers, beer, and drives through Queens. It was nice, it was okay, it took my mind off of other things. We would do it again, we would do it all summer. Hendrix couldn't believe I wasn't going to stay with him and his sister that year. He couldn't believe I met someone, a woman. He couldn't believe he would probably never see me or Liz ever again.

***

'Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe'

*

I felt a little uncomfortable, I was under the mistletoe, I think. This party was filled with women, all beautiful, I felt I didn't deserve to be hanging out with them, mingling, giggling. I slipped into the bathroom, the house was so big there were at least five of them, I was in the furthest one, I was going to hide.

My phone buzzed, 'Where are you?'

Sara was looking for me, I didn't even know what to tell her. Every time she walked away from me I felt so alone, I went into panic mode.

'Just washing up I will meet you in the kitchen in five.'

Oh my god, five minutes, why didn't I tell her in six hours? I could get in a nap, mess up my lipstick and put on a less revealing dress. Everyone here had perfect noses, boobs, perfect hips, and incredible lilting voices. Me? I looked so out of place and not curvy enough, I wish I stayed home, or that Ross was here already. I looked more female with a man beside me. Everyone did.

Jada wanted to start her party with just the women from her salon, it was their Christmas get-together, so no men. Well, no men until later, I personally couldn't wait, I was missing Ross, especially since my time as a female was coming to a close. My heart was breaking so I wouldn't dwell on the specifics, not dwell on the end, even though after leaving the salon this morning it was going to be extremely hard to look anything but feminine, just like this beautiful amber feminine bathroom.

"God look at these incredible light fixtures."

I checked how warm my skin looked in the mirror. I opened it up and peeked at Jada's drug options, there were none, just Q-tips, cough drops, a couple of creams, and DayQuil. I took a shot of Dayquil anyway, orange, but it tasted like black licorice. I rubbed some of her expensive lotion on my hands and elbows, then moved back from the mirror. I can't believe I wore this dress, I can't believe I was showing such perfect subtle cleavage. The dress was black and white checked with puffy shoulders and three-quarter sleeves. The hem came to mid-thigh showing off my thick tan pantyhose. I took short breaths because Jada's girls put the tightest corset around me, and even padded up my hips. My ass was twice as wide as usual, my waist so thin in comparison and my breasts looked too big as a result of it.

I was used to being at home, squeezing these silicone breasts in front of my mirror, taking pictures, or trying on outfits, I should have known things would be different with real women around to compare myself to. Jada said I should show off more, she wanted me to become a 'woman' like her, like her friends and co-workers, who were all here. They were flirty, touchy, feely, and fun, I didn't think I had the tenacity to even try to be like them even though it was exactly the way I felt inside my brain.

I moved back. I gazed in the sepia-tinted mirror again, my hair looked quite nice. The extensions were perfect, strawberry blonde and leading down over the forms showing off my pearl earrings and gold dots. It was so long, so red, and hiding something I wanted to be hidden. I moved it out of my eyes, moving closer, even my makeup looked incredible, but of course, it would, I left the salon less than two hours ago. I had longer false lashes, some kind of fillers in my lips and cheeks, some kind of supplements in my belly. I felt and looked wonderful but nervous. I didn't have one hair on my entire body, just the little trimmed patch in my panties, and more redness on top with my perfect thicker eyebrows. I took a deep breath, brushed my hair, brushed my teeth with the white toothbrush on the sink. Shook myself out of this funk and headed into the kitchen.

Both Sara and Rachel were holding drinks, they smiled as I got closer. "Ah, there she is, my checkerboard princess." Sara put out her hand, she pulled me closer. "Sabrina, Rachel says she helped make some of the food at the party, it's from Ruffino's."

"Oh, the food is SO wonderful," I was thinking of the beautiful restaurant, the corner of the bar, I was thinking of the men smiling at me, and another one holding my waist. I took Rachel's hands, they were perfect again, she had long black nails with designs, she was a perfect girl. "God, I love these nails." I held them up, I looked closer, "I wish I had the imagination to get nails like this."

"We can start going to Jada's together. We can get the works, ha. We can try to persuade Sara to come."

I looked at Sara, "Mmm, maybe." I smiled, Rachel was making me feel so warm and welcome but Sara walked away, she made a face. She would never go to a salon, she definitely wouldn't go with me.

*

The party was steamrolling forward without me. I once again, sat alone in a little chair in the kitchen, my print dress clashing with the wallpaper. I had my hands on my thighs, my legs crossed, showing off my black sandals, my six-inch heels. Here I was in the middle of nowhere and there were still so many stunning women.

"Drink?"

"Okay, thank you." One of Jada's friends poured me something dark pink, quite strong. It was okay, I will sit here, look at all the great legs, and spin on this chair. I wasn't paying attention, I was getting dizzy. I was doing the math, I was figuring out how big the kitchen was and how small my kitchen set would look in it.

"Ah found you, hiding in the kitchen, of course." I heard Jada's slight giggle, I looked up.

"Hi, sorry I'm early I am the only guy here at the moment, ha. Sorry if it's weird." It was Ross, he was smiling, he was thinking it was weird. I loved that he said that, the only guy here, I started to feel amazing. I came to an abrupt stop in the revolving chair, but my stomach kept going.

"No, I, um, think it's great. I couldn't wait for you to show up." I stood up, I was probably looking more feminine already. I watched Sara on the other side of the kitchen, she gave me a look, then went back to her coffee. I could tell she liked it better when I was dateless, like everyone else. Hopefully, soon the rest of the men will be here and we can start to assimilate, blend into the background, otherwise I was just going to run into the backyard and hide under the trees, me and Ross, enjoying the party from afar.

"You look spectacular. I never would have guessed checks were my favorite color."

I smiled and gave him my drink. I sort of pushed down the hem, fixed the cute puffy sleeves, wiggled my wider rear end. It was similar to the orange gingham that he loved me in the day before, that is why I agreed to wear it. I was brushing myself off, I didn't know what I was doing but I was getting a compliment, and it made me nervous. I was so glad I didn't wear my gold dress that was hidden in the closet for a reason, a good one, it tended to shed.

Ross handed me back an empty glass, "Sorry." I got distracted.

"Hmm," My eyes were squinted, my dark pink drink totally gone. I moved closer to him, put my long beige nails on his cheeks. "Really."

"I mean normally I don't get distracted, but normally I wouldn't expect such a beautiful woman to be sitting on a revolving chair in the kitchen looking so spectacular." We kissed. I pulled away quickly, I hoped no one saw but everyone did. Good thing Sara was somewhere else.

*

Jada was getting ready for an adventure, she didn't tell us what it was, but she was in and out of the house barking orders at someone outside.

I was glad all the husbands, all the men were finally here. Now we could get lost in this marvelous house, now we could traipse, look at the artwork and make out in the dark corners. There were plenty of them, dark corners, I mean. Now we could have drinks with crazy names, dark, strong, rimmed with sugar, cinnamon, or lime. Now we could cheer, we could sing with the carols playing over the television, playing on little speakers above and below us, now Christmas was finally here.

"Hey, Look at you, look at that hair."

We spun around, we were hiding, we were searching for Jada's speakers, we weren't expecting anyone.

"Hi, James, thanks for noticing." Ross laughed, he was such a card after a couple of drinks.

"Ha, you too of course." He walked over to me, he lightly touched my hair, it was long, longer than it ever was. When I was younger Liz made me grow it out, she wouldn't let me cut it for years until my mother made me, when I started work in the city, right before I met Sara. "It's so long, it's so red. I remember when you used to have this same crazy smile on your face all the time too." He kissed my cheek.

"You do?" I smiled, I didn't realize I was even smiling, I was feeling so festive, so different than at the start of the party. I was so excited being in the company of men.

"I do," He smiled and walked past us, back toward the furthest restroom, my favorite one.

We watched for some reason, we watched the door close, we waited until it was quiet once again, hiding in this hallway surrounded by tinsel.

"I met James at a super bowl party. Right here in this house, must be almost two years ago."

I looked up at Ross, "Oh?"

"Actually I'm going to say everyone here was probably at that party, Jada's friends and co-workers are probably all the same as back then. The only new faces are Sara and of course, you." And he tapped my nose.

I placed my hands on his shoulders, I was just about to lean in, show him I was a great new face.

"Okay! Come on, let's go, the bus is here!" Jada was clapping her hands as James slid by us. I was confused as we took our coats, buttoned up, we headed outside, then got on a minibus. It was so cold, but with my new long coat, it was perfect.

"I remember when you didn't even own a coat." Ross was teasing me.

"Well if we lived in Florida I wouldn't need one."

"Wait are we going to Florida? All right, NOW I'm excited." James was behind us. He seemed pretty excited.

"Maybe we are going to Disney World." I told them, they laughed. "I wish I had some Minnie Mouse ears, ha."

"Here you go." Jada's husband gave out mulled wine in coffee cups instead.

I'm going to guess Sara was the only one with coffee in hers. They gave us an idea of what we were going to do as we drove through town, past the holiday light show, past the children looking up at the tree. We drove by Ruffinos and Jada's shop, we were heading to Pomona.

Jada was clapping some more, "Okay we are almost there. I want to see big smiles." Soon we stopped, right in front of the AtlantiCare Regional Medical Center. We followed her and her husband into the Emergency entrance, we gave out gifts and candy to everyone waiting. I hugged a little boy who was crying. We went upstairs and gave out more gifts and candy, Jada gave flowers to the nurses and candy canes to those on the phones and giving away free information.

I was holding Ross's hand, we were in the back of the crowd, the rest of them were singing and playing with the children and talking to the older men and women sitting on the benches. Almost everyone was chewing on Starbursts and sucking more candy canes. I decided to pull him away, pull him toward the side, we were by ourselves. We walked the halls, we turned into the maternity ward, it was quiet as we handed out the rest of our candy and said hello and sorry to those we interrupted working on a quiet Wednesday night. I was having fun talking to the young mothers, the new parents even the siblings coloring, or on their games or phones.

We walked down the hall. "Hi." We heard a voice, we turned back. I peeked, then walked into a room, it was dark, just the light from the bright hallway seeping in.

"Hi, merry Christmas." I smiled, it was a young girl who was reading a paperback in the dark.

She gave us a tentative smile, "Visiting?"

"Mmm," I felt Ross behind me, "This is Ross, I'm Sabrina."

"Really? So am I? Look." And she showed me her plastic bracelet and I looked, I looked really close, like I was making sure she wasn't lying, like she was wanted for stealing cars or cats.

"Okay, looks like you are who you say you are." I picked up my phone and put it to my lips, "Okay all clear, ha."

She laughed as I checked my coat for more candy canes, more lollipops but we were done. I'm sure Jada and the rest were looking for us. I felt like we have been wandering for ages.

"I love your dress."

I looked down, I held my coat open to show her the checkerboard, show her my new hips. "I didn't want to wear it, but now I kind of love it. I think it is so, so, me."

"It's beautiful, it is so, so, me too, haha." she rubbed her belly. "It goes so well with your coat too." And she reached out, she touched the long pink wool, she felt the brass buttons, she ran her hand over the lining. "Feels so soft, you must love this too rubbing against your dress."

"I do. Would you believe, this is my first coat, ever?"

"Ever?"

"Yup."

"And I helped pick it out." Ross laughed.

"Ooh, I hear some of the others," I bent down and touched her leg, my long nails grazing the blanket. "We better get going. When are you due?"

She took my hand and brought me closer, she put my hand on her large belly.

She looked up, she seemed distant. "Well, they think after Christmas, they said there were complications." She shrugged, she started to cry. Ross and I sat on her bed, I let her cry into my coat. I rubbed her arm, her hair, I started to cry with her. "Please come back to see my baby, Sabrina." And she started crying some more.

"Oh, okay, I will." I felt my cheeks getting wet.

I started feeling sad, I would have stayed here all night if Sara and James didn't walk into the room. "Ready?"

I sniffed, I tried to smile. Was I ready? Ready for what? I think I was suddenly ready for anything, but mostly I wanted to see the 'Other Sabrina's' new baby, that was my goal, that was the only thing I really wanted to do. That was the only sure thing in my future, all I wanted to do before the new year before my life started over again.

I hugged her, I kissed her hair, as Ross stood up, she let him kiss her goodbye. I took off my coat and gave it to her. "You can borrow this, I'll pick it up when I see the baby, okay?"

"Really?"

"Mmm-mm, it will keep you warm right here in your warm room." And I shook my head, the three of us were crying. I was glad Sara went back to the crowd, leaving us alone again with the 'Other Sabrina.'

She picked up the coat and put it against her cheek wiping her face, making me miss her already. "And it smells so nice, is this what you always smell like?"

"It is, now. It's Dior, it's perfect for Christmas." And I smiled as I gave her our phone numbers. "I can't wait to see the baby." I wiggled my fingers, sprinkling her with the magic power from my fingertips. She smiled, my magic power was already working.

*

Everyone was mellow once we got back on the bus. I had a feeling in my chest that I wasn't used to, something, I don't even know what, like I was missing something like I left something back at the hospital, and it wasn't my warm coat.

"Now you have to get another one. More shopping." Sara was behind me, she was tapping my puffy shoulder. She had a look I never saw before, one I couldn't even decipher. I was doubting she had that same feeling I did, inside her.

I was cuddling with Ross, my phone buzzed. 'Would you mind if I stayed over at the house tonight?' I looked, it was from James, I smiled, I showed Ross. I texted back, 'Not at all, have fun.'

Of course, once again my teeth were chattering, I was used to it. Ross took off his coat and put it around us, I drank the rest of my not-so-hot wine, I fell asleep in his arms. When I awoke we were in front of his house. Everyone was getting a ride home, nobody was going to drive after a night of cocktails and Christmas concoctions.

I didn't even look back at Sara and James as we headed off the bus, as we said goodbye to everyone, and I kissed Jada. I hopped off the bus then I went back and hugged her, I wouldn't let her go. "Thank you, thank you for everything. Thank you for this hair." She laughed but I was crying again, I waved to the half-full bus. We waved once again as it drove off fifty feet away and let out Rachel and Mike. We waved to each other and I wiggled my fingers again, more magic, then went into the houses, closing the front doors in sync.

*

Was I really doing this? Was I really standing in front of him, holding up my dress, showing off my nylons? I lifted higher and showed him my panties, the padded hips.

"Wow, this is what was happening under your dress?"

"Mmm, do you like?"

"Heh, I do, I might like it a little too much." He moved closer, we started to kiss, his fingers went to my breasts, he then kissed my neck, between my breasts. "I love this part of you, I think I might like every part of you, can I investigate?" He laughed, his hands went lower, he had my hips and he pulled me closer to his hardness, I had to pull down the dress, I felt him push into me, my belly.

I closed my eyes, I put my arms around his neck, I wanted this, especially after tonight, I was ready to be taken. My heels were high and I still had to stand on my toes to whisper in his ear. "Can we go visit that young girl again?"

"Sure, whatever you want to do. Maybe on Christmas day, we can bring her and the baby a present."

"Ooo, we can, that will be nice. I think you are pretty nice too, you know, for a man." And I gave him the look I have perfected in my mirror, a little flirty, a little mysterious. I let go of him and moved backward. "I want to show you something."

"Okay." He smiled, he watched interested. Then I spun around. I lifted my hair, my new extensions, felt it in my fingers. My checkered dress was showing off my back, barely concealing my bra strap. None of it was me, it was the silicone breast forms. My Christmas present. I had a little black collar hiding the seam. Jada said no one would know, but I knew, I had something hidden below my neck, below my hair, a present from Jada.

"Wow, that's great, can I touch?"

"Mmm-mmm."

Soon I felt his fingers near my cervical spine, just slightly above my shoulder blades. I felt his fingers even through the silicone. I felt him run them over the letters, seven of them, the name of the young girl we met tonight. He kissed my neck, then my cheek, I dropped my hair, hiding the script again, 'Sabrina,' a bluish green, a nice compliment to the red tendrils, and the black and white checkered dress.

I turned looking at him again, I loved the look on his face, he seemed quite infatuated with me, his eyes never left mine.

"I don't really know my way around this house, so I might get a little lost." I stuck out my tongue and ran, ran down a short hallway, ran back making noise in my heels, I turned into the kitchen. I stood on the far side of the kitchen table. I waited for him to appear.

Ross was laughing, his coat was on the floor behind him, he was unbuttoning his shirt, I moved so he wouldn't get any closer. "You love being chased, hmm."

"Not really, but I love being pursued, especially by you. A man who is getting undressed in front of me." When he walked around the table I moved away from him, I kept the distance the same. I kept showing him my tongue, as I tapped the table with my long nails. I looked behind him, "What's that?" He looked and I scooted around him, back out of the kitchen. I went into a dark room, I banged my shin, I stood with my back in a corner. I wiggled my fingers, hopefully, I had an invisible spell or a metamorphosis one, maybe I will turn into a lamp or a Grecian statue.

The dim light went on, Ross had his shoes and shirt off, he was watching me. I made believe I didn't see him. "Um, I think I found you. Do I win?"

***

Years ago a man wanted to see ME.

*

Ring, ring.

"Hi, I want to visit you and Liz this weekend is that all right?" Hendrix didn't understand why we didn't want to see him, he didn't realize we grew up and things had changed. Both Liz and I were married now, we were both older, we both had our own houses, and Liz was now far away in Florida. The only thing the same was our Queens accents.

"No, not a good time. Can't we just talk?" I always wanted to talk, I missed him, I missed those great summers at the beach getting redder than my hair. I didn't want him to see me, I didn't want him to know that I changed so much.

"Sure." But I knew he was disappointed, I knew he missed Liz, I knew he felt he missed his chance at true happiness. "One day," He told me, "I will find you the love of your life, one day, and when I do YOU will have to find one for me."

"Okay, that will be my new goal in life." And we laughed, we talked for hours. I sat in the basement, while Sara sat upstairs in front of her TV, as she sipped her cappuccino, forgetting that there was even someone else breathing inside her house.

***

"Ross, you win."

He pulled back, he smiled, "I did?"

"Would you like to see your prize?"

"Are you going to run away again?"

"I might, but that is the chance you will have to take. One morning, you will think I am next to you in bed, but I might be gone, I might be hiding in Queens, in New York City, not a sleepy little Jersey town."

He smiled, he stepped out of his pants. He watched me as I pulled up my dress showing off my body again, my nylon thighs, my sheer panties, as he answered me. "I will search the city, I will hire a team of private investigators, I will put posters up all over the telephone polls. I will not rest until I find you. You'll see..."

I smiled, I lifted the tight dress over my wider hips. I wanted him to see and feel the silicone pussy again, I wanted him to put his fingers inside of me. I slipped down my pantyhose and panties exposing what was hidden underneath.

"Please don't look for me, I will be back. Say you won't do any of that."

"I can't promise Sabrina, I can't let you leave my life, not when it has finally started to become exciting with you in it.

I watched him reach for my panties, his finger going inside the opening, he started to play with the vagina slit, he started to put his fingers inside, I felt him touch me.

"Huh...'

"Are you okay?"

I am," I started breathing harder, he had two fingers massaging me, his other hand went behind me, playing with more silicone, flesh-colored, he had his fingers outside of my hole. He started to lightly play with me, he was squeezing my front, he was tickling my back, I had to kiss him before I screamed.

I held his hardness as we made out in the quiet apartment, in the slight darkness of his empty room. We stood by the window, no curtains, no blinds, showing off to the imaginary people in the snow looking at the Christmas lights. I wanted them to see a man and a woman making out by the window.

He then slipped his fingers further inside of my front and back, I was being fingered from both ends. I played with the hair on his chest, it was crazy how excited I was. I was on edge the entire month, dressing so sexy was putting me in overdrive constantly, now being with Ross I was ready for the complicated directions to the next level, ready to be taken by a man.

He took his fingers from me as he let me lose the rest of his clothes, soon I was with a man in just briefs. I wanted to enjoy myself, I spun, I held up my hair. I felt Ross bring down my zipper, and felt my dress pool to the floor. He kissed the name of the girl we met tonight, he tasted the blue-green of the ink on my upper back. I then let him rub my ass, kiss my shoulders, play with my breasts. I turned, putting my hands on my hips showing off my long beige nails, beige for Christmas, matching my toes, matching the silicone.

"I love a man in white." I teased as I ran my nails over his chest, his hair below his belly button, barely showing above his briefs. I never felt like this before, I never felt so femme, or even so excited. We locked eyes as I ran my hands over his hard chest again, his hard stomach, his even harder cock that was peeking out of the top of his briefs. I moved my hand down and played with him, feeling him through the cotton. His hands went back onto my breasts, we smiled, we let each other investigate our respective bodies.

I bent down in front of him. "Can I do this?" I asked, I pulled down his briefs, his cock flipped up in front of my lips. I took him inside of me, I sucked a little harder than the other night. I was too excited, I thought I would faint. I kissed the length of his cock, I kissed his balls and thighs then slipped off his briefs. I walked backward and leaned on the large window, my ass smushing the window, showing off even more to the neighbors. He came closer, my pantyhose and panties hovering about my thighs, my corset still tight around me.

He took hold of his large cock and moved closer to me. "Can we try this, can I put it inside of you?"

"I don't know." I slightly opened my legs as he bent and slowly slipped his manhood through the opening of the silicone panties, through the artificial vagina, pushing into my real body. I love how it looked, his cock entering me, disappearing into my slit. He pulled out a little then pushed in once again. We discovered he had to go under me, just like Hendrix did so many years before, he was going to make believe he was fucking me. I wondered if Sara knew a real cock would one day make its way through this hole, one day making me feel wonderful.

His cock pushed inside the slit, grazing my 'clit,' I wanted to see what it looked like, I wanted to watch a man make love to me. I wanted to watch it disappear in my 'pussy.'

"Ahh, Ross, is it okay? do you like this?"

"I do, but I want to be inside the real you, I want to make love to a woman like I have been dreaming about since I first saw you. Since the first time, I saw your picture."

We stopped thrusting, I looked up at him, "Really?"

*

I kicked off my heels. He watched as I brought down my stockings and panties and foam curves. He watched as the flesh-colored one made its way down my legs, past my ankles, and discarded. I hid my little 'clit' as he watched, I then slipped back on my nude pantyhose, I needed them, I wanted to feel silky smooth. I slipped back on my heels and moved closer to him. We kissed as he rubbed my ass, my real ass, my flesh, and blood.

He took off my bra and my breasts popped out, he started to suck and lick. "Can we take this off too? I would love to feel your skin, I want you against me."

"I don't know."

"Please?"

I realized I had to, he had to see me at least this once. He had to see the real me. I took off my little collar, then I pulled the forms over my head, it was tight, it was messing up my hair. I turned, I showed him my back as I put back on the bra, it was too big but I needed it, I needed something that looked like breasts. I felt him come closer, he moved my hair, he kissed between my shoulder blades.

"You have your name on your back too? It's so beautiful, so fancy, I love it."

"Mmm." He made me feel so good as I lifted my hair again, let him investigate the seven-letter word, my name. The little girl's name was on the back of the silicone boobs. "It was Jada's idea, she is so wonderful. She said you would discover it and love it. I can't wait to tell her that she was right. It isn't permanent, it will probably fade in a couple of months. "

"I will remember it being there forever."

He picked me up and brought me over to his bed, he lay on top of me as we made out. We kissed, we cuddled, we moved all over the bed. All the blankets spilled onto the floor. I got up on all fours, I arched my back, he started to rub me again through the stockings. He had my cheeks in his hands, rubbing, feeling the smoothness of the nylon. He kneeled behind me, he started to kiss my backside, he pulled down the pantyhose and started to lick inside of me. I wiggled, I was so ready for him, ready for his manhood, I wanted to feel him.

"Mmm, You taste so good." He started kissing my back, the corset, as he moved his body closer to me, as his hard cock grazed against my thighs and ass. He held onto my waist, I felt his cock right outside my opening, I couldn't wait, I couldn't breathe. I felt the tip, he held it as he rubbed my back some more. Slowly he pushed, I felt every inch as he thrust into me, slowly his cock was disappearing inside of me, not some silicone flesh. I tensed and he stopped, he let me get used to his girth, his manhood. He started pushing again, giving me encouragement, compliments, little rubs, and kisses on my back.

"Oh, my god, Ross you feel so good inside of me." I wanted to tell him that I had never done this before, I was a virgin. I only ever had men in my mouth, this was never an option, I never met anyone I wanted to make love to me before. Soon he started thrusting harder and I felt his balls against my bottom.

"I am all in Sabrina," And he squeezed my ass cheeks, he thrust inside me even deeper.

"Ahh, it feels so good."

He stayed against me, his cock buried. He rubbed my back again, we didn't move.

"Are you ready? Ready for me to make love to you?"

"Yes, god yes, I am so ready." I moaned, my voice was so high, as he started pumping, fucking me in his bed, in his bedroom with no curtains, like we were fucking in the snow. He made me go onto my back, so I spun around, I wanted him back inside of me, I was missing him. I opened my legs, covering my 'clit,' he smiled and aimed his cock once more at my hole. Slowly he went back inside of me.

I screamed as he fucked me for some more, I watched, I watched his cock disappear, it was magic. Finally, I was moaning louder, I was vibrating, I couldn't breathe, and I came all over his belly, my cum all over him. He started to thrust harder.

"Oh my god, Ross you are so deep inside of me."

Then he came, I felt him shoot, I felt his jism. His cock was moving so much easier as he pumped, as he thrust, and grunted. I had my nylon legs around him pulling him in tighter, holding him inside of me. Finally, I grabbed his shoulders, my arm around his neck I drew him into me and we kissed. I didn't want him to stop, I started cumming again, I was lightly moaning into his mouth, as he pumped the rest of his sperm into me.

When he finally slipped out of me, he got a towel and cleaned us up. I got up, put back on my breast forms and one of his t-shirts then watched him put on his briefs, a pajama top. I felt like I was watching a little boy. I smiled as he got dressed, pushed back his hair. He disappeared into the bathroom and came out smelling like underarm deodorant and baby powder.

"You are such a boy," I said in my perfect Queens accent.

"Thank you, I think." and he slipped into the bed with me.

"Mmm, I love how you smell, I also love how you taste." And I licked his lips, then we kissed again, I messed up his perfectly combed hair. We fell asleep in his sloppy bed, less than two days before Christmas, less than two days before everything would change.

*

The next morning, I was at his table, I didn't disappear, I didn't run away. Both of our phones dinged. We got a text. 'Thank you, you two.'

I looked up at Ross, we both sent the same message back, 'Thank you too.'

***

"Why can't you just stay home today, it's Christmas Eve, we always watch those old cartoons, Charlie Brown, Rudolf, Frosty." Sara didn't understand why I wanted to go out. She didn't understand why I needed to see Ross, feel him, have him kiss me hello. "Just cause you are wearing a dress doesn't mean we have to upset tradition."

I called him, he understood, then I went and made cookies. More baking as Sara watched. She had on her white overalls and a Christmas sweater underneath, her Uggs hiding her toes. Me? I was dressed for dancing, dressed for a fancy restaurant, dressed to go out with a man and sit at the corner of the bar. I had a short green dress, nude stockings, and nude five-inch pumps. My nails still beige like my toes. I then snuck into my room and watched myself in my mirror. Just a little walk, just a little primping of my red hair. I put my pocketbook with the long gold chain over my shoulder. I held my phone, I made believe I was talking to Santa, made believe Charlie Brown was lonely this Christmas. I made believe I was talking to Liz.

"Hi, merry Christmas you, ha, yes, it has been a perfect holiday." And I giggled like I used to when she called me, lied when she asked me how I felt, then felt guilty that I never visit her or the kids. "Bye, I miss you, muah." I sniffed my roses, I left my room, went back to celebrate the holiday with my 'sister.'

"What would you like a cappuccino or a latte?"

"Definitely cappuccino, you make the best ones."

I smiled.

1/3 espresso, 1/3 steamed milk, and 1/3 foam. I wiggled my fingers over them like I always do. Placed some chocolate chip cookies on the tray next to my homemade Pirouette ones with the filled mugs. Poured Cognac into little aperitif glasses then sprinkled a little more magic over everything. Christmas Eve the same as it ever was, only now I had on this exquisite dress and long nails. I was lucky that my wife let me lounge around like this, let me cook in the kitchen, let me date a man. I could give her a perfect Christmas Eve, she deserved it.

I walked in, clicking on the wood floor, a big red smile on my face. "Here we go, some snacks to go with our shows."

"Mmm, looks great."

And we watched the television all day, I made her so many cappuccinos, gave her so many pieces of cookies, broken in half, in quarters. She spent some of the time on the phone, talking to James, talking to Jada, her mother, and her sister, talking about the following day.

When it was late, we changed into our red holiday nightgowns with white trim, we watched more TV, I had bourbon on ice, I needed something less sweet, I needed something to help me forget this might be my last night for a while in a nightgown. I immersed myself in the holiday specials, we sang, we laughed, we fell asleep on the couch. Just two 'women' with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads.

*

'Mmm, where did my heart land
In the middle of nowhere
Where are the dreams I planned
In the middle of nowhere'

We were on the Mullica River Bridge, the middle of nowhere, we were driving aimlessly, I didn't want to see Sara or her family on Christmas just yet. Ross and I left Jada's, he stayed the whole time, I was a mess, I was shaking, I didn't understand the big deal. I didn't like when she was angry at me, or disappointed, I didn't like that she was using her family as leverage. I was so nice to her, always, especially yesterday, the day was all about her.

I wanted to apologize, it used to be all about her. But, this morning she was adamant, she was stern, she wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Sam no, just stop. Just go to Jada, she said she will help and get you back to normal."

That's what she said, normal. That word, normal, it made me sad. It made me sad right away. I was wearing my orange dress, the one I originally met Ross in. I thought I looked great, sexy even, but now here was Sara telling me that wearing this orange dress was not normal.

"Okay."

"My mother and sister will be here at two." She looked at me, she was focused. "What time?"

"Two." And I left, got in the car, the first time I have driven since we got to Port Republic, here in the middle of nowhere. I went to Ruffino's and talked to Rachel and Mike, they were getting ready with orders, more food. Then Ross came with me to Jada's house. I felt terrible bothering her on the holiday.

"Oh my god, that dress is amazing." Jada loved my choices, she loved everything I wore, especially if she picked it out. "Orange is perfect to clash with your hair, ha, maybe you should be in green."

I wanted to tell her I was in green last night, I was here to become normal, but normal to Jada, her husband, the women she worked with, or even Ross and I, was a completely different thing than it was to Sara.

*

We saw the sign announcing our little town, Port Republic, New Jersey. To think it was just a place in my past and now I was here, I wanted to stay here with Ross, with Jada, with Rachel. I wanted to visit Ruffinos, wanted to run out amongst the trees, the snow, the paths that led to the middle of everywhere. I realized this was now my town, no more Middle Village, no more Queens, my accent sounded like a local. I could talk and converse and not have to worry that everyone would think I was a townie, an out-of-towner, someone who only visited for the holidays or the summer.

We made one stop before we got back to my house. Just the one.

We had everything we needed to celebrate the holiday. A couple of days before I baked, the day before I cooked, I got all of the liqueur together, the mixers, and all the presents for relatives and friends. Christmas was ready, it was set, it was time to go be involved.

The three of us were now outside, right in the Middle of Nowhere, two different cars were near the lawn, two cars I haven't seen in a while.

I walked behind, I wanted to enter the house last.

"Oh my god, Hendrix? What are you doing here?" Sara's mom was the first to see him, the first to hold out her arms. Ross was in front of me, he was holding the shopping bags, just a couple more packages, flowers, I hid behind him.

"Well, first of all, no one ever calls me that anymore, no one except Ross here even calls me Jimi, ha. Surprisingly I am dating your daughter." And James smiled as he walked over towards Sara, she was leaving the kitchen. "We have been dating for a while."

"Wait, why are you here?" She walked past her mom, her sister, and the others gathered around the coffee table. James took the glasses she was holding. Then she saw me, she stopped, she was shaking her head, she wasn't surprised. She told me later the only thing she was really surprised about was that I didn't make a run for it, didn't hide back in Queens, San Francisco or Walmart. I didn't even try to hide in the trees behind the house.

She turned around, she made everyone focus, "So I guess it's finally time everyone meets our new friends. Mom, Pam, this is Ross." He hugged, he met the family. "And of course, this, is my other sister, Sabrina."

Her sister and her mom looked at me. Her mother walked closer while I was wearing one of Jada's perfect 'Christmas green' dresses. Short, spaghetti straps, hugging my figure, so imperfect for Christmas. I was still wearing my hose and now carrying a brown leather bag, matching my pumps. Jada finally took out my little pearls and traded them for thick golden hoops. I was dressed for the summer, I wasn't dressed for snow in New Jersey. I wasn't even wearing a coat.

"Um, Sabrina, hi. You look beautiful in green." Her mother gave me a hug, I knew she had an idea of who I was, that conversation had come up uncomfortably in the past. I closed my eyes when we hugged again. I opened them, Sara was watching, James had his arm around her, she seemed kind of okay about this new development. She gave me that look that she uses every once in a while, the one where I am completely confused and she knows it.

We heard a louder voice, "Look at this, finally. What, you have no time to come to fucking Florida?" Behind Sara, wiping her hands on a reindeer towel, a huge smile on her face. Someone I was more than surprised to see, though I was guessing it was her kids all over the living room.

Sara's mother took my hands and shook them while watching my darker made-up eyes. "So now we know the Sabrina that the girls used to talk about, ha, I wish we knew all those years ago."

I watched Liz give James, well, Hendrix a hug, I watched her whisper something to Sara, then she turned. Her eyes were squinted, her lips were pursed, she was going to yell at me, she was going to give me a piece of her mind. She was going to ask whose dress I stole. I stood next to Ross, taking his arm. I felt my face get hot, I felt everyone's gaze on me.

She reached out and touched the material of my dress, she was close to my breasts, my real ones, Jada used tape and little filets to give me a nice B or C cup, she wanted me to show off my shoulders, chest and the little tattoo she put under my hair.

"So whose dress are you wearing now?"

I smiled, she didn't think I had any of my own, they were always borrowed. This time she was right. "Um, Jada, my friend that does my hair and makeup, but I have a closet full of my own now.

"Ha, really? You are going to have to show me." She touched my chin, my cheek. "My god, Sabrina, you look fantastic, how 'bout me?"

"You look fantastic too." Then she hugged me, we cried, it had been way too long. I looked over again at Sara and Hendrix, watching us. Liz's husband held my shoulder, then I hugged him too. I met all of the kids, all three of them, all familiar from pictures sent to my phone. We gave out presents, we caught up, we cried some more. Then we sat, I made drinks, Sara, Hendrix, and Ross helped set the table with me, it was turning into a perfect Christmas.

*

After dinner we relaxed, Sara brought in the cookies I made, the little glasses of Bailys, Cognac, and Amaretto. We sat around the table, everyone leaned back, everyone was quite happy and listening to music.

'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do?
Oh, baby, all I want for Christmas is you'

"So things worked out quite well, I see." Liz was rubbing my arm but she was looking at Ross.

"It did, perfectly." He leaned over, he kissed my cheek.

Hendrix leaned into the table, a sneaky smile on his face. "Who would have ever imagined one little phone call from someone could change the direction of your day? Maybe even the direction of your life."

"Ha," Liz laughed, she shook her head. "Who could ever imagine? Well, I could, ha. A surprise call from Hendrix, here, and it led to him meeting Sara, then Sabrina meeting Jada, Rachel, and of course, Ross. No imagination was involved it was completely planned. I know soul mates when I see them, ha."

And we laughed. Personally, I would have never imagined it. It was Liz that re-introduced Sara to James, someone from our past. It was Liz's and James's plan for me to meet Ross, for him to give me a rose, for him to make me a part of his life. Rachel told me later it was really easy to convince Sara. Jada told me it was even easier to convince her to get the silicone panties and breasts.

Sara stood. "Okay enough of this, who is ready for coffee, 'cause I sure am."

"God, me too." Liz laughed.

It turns out everyone was ready for coffee, so I made cappuccinos, I wiggled my fingers over everything.

"Just so you know Sabrina put a little more of her love and magic on this batch of cappuccinos, so they should be amazing."

"Magic?" Ross asked, his eyes following me as I sat next to him, leaning into his arm.

"Of course." Sara handed out the cups, forks, and napkins with Santa on them. "Sabrina always sprinkles magic on everything she makes, she has been doing that for years." She looked at me, "For years. I know, I watch, heh."

I just shrugged, I didn't even think she knew, I didn't like to talk about the magic in my fingers. I held up my hands and wiggled, spraying just a little, my long beige nails, beige for Christmas, and showed everyone my technique. I didn't really think my powers were that strong, but now, maybe it was. The rest of the day was pretty magical.

*

Ring, ring...

Then we got the call, the one I was waiting for, the one I figured wouldn't come until next week when the four of us would hopefully be in Atlantic City for New Year, hitting the casinos, watching a raunchy burlesque show, and then having wild sex in expensive hotel rooms. We would have to drive back, get back to this part of Jersey as soon as possible.

"Okay, be right there."

I went into my room, picked up a rose. A white rose, a perfect gift from Ross. It had some magic of it's own.

We all got in our cars, all eleven of us, we picked up Mike and Rachel borrowing them from their family. We picked up Jada and her husband, a couple of the women from her shop, Justin, and a couple of the guys from Ruffinos. We were a crowd, we were singing, we had candy canes and presents.

I knew where we were heading, up the stairs to the right, through a huge set of doors. We said hi, we wished everyone a merry Christmas, I don't think the staff was ready for a crowd. There were two women outside of the open door, on their phones.

"Hi, can we go in?"

They looked around me, they looked down the hall, they shrugged, they weren't ready for a crowd either.

"Mmm, mmmmm, mmmm mm." She was on the bed, humming, nursing the baby, I walked closer, I watched. Looking up, she had my coat around her shoulders, my perfect long wool pinkish coat. Pink for Christmas. She smiled and made a gesture toward her breasts, her lap, toward her new baby.

I lay the rose next to her as I lightly kissed the top of her hair, looked at her beautiful new child. Then everyone else came into the room. She was quite surprised, she had a huge smile on her face. Everyone got to see the baby, everyone got to take pictures and give out presents. Everyone said goodbye. Some said they would see her again, some would visit. I told her I was going to bring her a white rose every day until she left the hospital.

"Bye, the Other Sabrina." I squinted my eyes, I was teasing.

She smiled, "Bye, um wait, maybe YOU are the Other Sabrina."

And my eyes looked to the white ceiling, a quizzical smushed smile on my face, I glanced over at Ross and he just shrugged. "Mmm, maybe you are right." I went over and kissed her messy brown hair again.

We all laughed, we said goodbye to baby Brian, we went home and had more cappuccinos. Of course, I couldn't sprinkle love and magic on top of them, I was all out. I used it all for baby Brian and Sabrina.

It was worth it, freezing right here in the Middle of Nowhere.

***

'Where does our love lie
Right slap in the middle of nowhere'

The End

***

Thank you All for reading! Happy Holiday and a Beautiful New Year, Love Sabrina...