Can Someone Explain ?

How did I get here? I am not Gay, never was. YET somehow I am a post operative MtF woman and enjoy living that way. At 75 years old, there will never be intercourse, of that I am completely sure. Lots of those who I know figure I am Gay. I was married to a woman until 2005 for 38 years. She was as messed up as me perhaps, very unaffectionate. We rescued each other from terrible abuse. I worked very hard to heal from its effects. She refused to acknowledge that it ever happened.

This is the first time that I have ever revealed that I have doubts that my son and daughter are actually mine. I have learned that she was adept at concealing her activities. I have no proof of it, so I never vocalized it. I am closer to my adopted daughter than my supposed own children.

Does life have to make sense?