Dammed if I do, dammed if I don't

I am an addict.

I am addicted to imagination.

Fantasy, science fiction, comics, almost anything would do as long as it allowed me to not deal with the real world.

Nowadays I get my fix mostly online, including the ability to create a fake version of me so I never had to face my real self.

The result is I am an overgrown child, completely unable to handle the adult world.

And worse, I have hurt others because of my inability to function as an adult, and I am currently in a situation where my poor choices will affect my mother, who has come to depend on me as her dementia worsens.

Which means, I can't just check out, or even check myself into a place where I would no longer be a danger to myself or others, because she's at the point where she'd be lost without me.

So that's it. dammed if I do, dammed if I don't.