picking myself up

You may have heard of the term "Stockholm syndrome".

It really can happen, especially to children who grow up in abusive households. When you are dependent on your abuser, when they are the person who is supposed to take care of you and they hurt you, it is very easy to come to believe they are right to hurt you. That you deserve what they do to you.

I was unfortunate enough to get a triple dose of this, as my rapist was a master manipulator and when my stepfather began to physically and emotionally abuse me I was utterly dependent on him. Add in the negative messages I got about my gender issues from my religion for good measure, and its little wonder I struggle to see myself as a worthwhile human to this day.

But on good days, I remember I am loved, and therefore lovable.

And I pick myself up and keep going,