I thought I was in a Big Closet story today

My sister in law who bills herself as the world's greatest bargain hunter dropped off a bag of used shirts today. I have no idea where she got them but she said to pick out any that fit me and she would pick up the rest later. Besides men's shirts there were several skirts and women's tops. We all know were this would go, right? The truth is that the woman must have been some kind of Amazon or WNBA player but in our story they would be a perfect fit for the bearded old man who just had to try them on.