to the people who care about me:

To the people who care about me: I'm sorry. See, caring about someone is always risky. There is a chance you will get hurt by them. I'm not just talking about being disappointed, or betrayed, but hurt because the person you care about is hurting. So if you care about me, you've been hurt when I have hurt, and I'm sorry. And I'm afraid the hurting isnt over. See, I've been, so to speak writing checks my body cant cash for a long time, and it looks like nature is going to collect. And therefore I can see a lot of hurt in my future. And even if I manage to make a 180 and totally change my habits today and going forward, its likely that at least some of the consequences of my bad choices will hit me, hurt me, and you, who care about me, will hurt as well.

So I am sorry.