Crisis before coming out?

Do we all have this huge crisis before coming out? My first coming out was met with such violence and hostility that I literally forgot all about it to save my own life. The second time the issues raised its head was in my mid 30's, but being the fundamentalist Evangelical fool I was, I failed to address it until I was literally forced to do it in my early 50's, and the effect in my life was as devastating as a nuclear war.

So, how do we address this thing? Do many of us drink heavily to ease the pain? I would like to think that there are personal stories out there where coming out proceeded relatively painlessly?