paddling up a waterfall

Well, the last couple of days have been filled with anxiety, and last night I finally put together why.

It goes back to an article on Facebook which was about child abuse, and the idea of making a Valentine's day card for your younger self.. I thought it was a really good idea, and was going to work on making one for the 7-9 year old me, but I didn't realize how much I was triggering myself until my anxiety was at Defcon 5 and you could almost hear the robot from "Lost in Space" going "Danger, Dorothy Colleen, Danger!"

So now I feel very frustrated. How do I heal when any healing actions I could take trigger me that badly? I feel like not only am I paddling upriver, I'm trying to paddle up a waterfall.

Ah, well.