Having gender Identity issues. Seeking help

These last couple of weeks my gender identity has been all over the place. One moment I am completely convinced I am male and any TG feeling is just a flight of fancy (or perhaps reading too much BC), the next moment I am absolutely certain that if I would awake a woman the next day it would be 45 years too late.

I could sure use some helpful pointers to help me figure out what it is that I am.

I am too scared to tell anyone, but also afraid that some day me being TG (or not as the case may be) will spill out in the open. I have been thinking about telling my wife, but I am convinced I need to better understand where/what I am first.

Sorry about putting this out there but I needed to share with someone else.

[ I am Dutch and live in the Netherlands so any local pointers would help tremendously. ]