2 a.m.

It's 2 a.m. and I still can't sleep. Someone I care about is very ill and may be dying and I don't know what to do. Some may say that she's just a cat. To me she's more than that. I love her and can't stand the thought of losing her.

Several years ago when I was living with some close friends, she showed up at our back door. She moved into our hearts, then into our home. Even though I don't live with them any more, she still has a piece of my heart ... and it's breaking.

I've known for a few weeks now. I was able to see her on my birthday (the day after Halloween). I'm hoping she'll be able to hang in there long enough so I can see her tomorrow when I go over to my friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner.

I ain't been able to sleep right. My concentration has been awful. I keep on finding myself just staring at the screen at work. My appetite keeps bouncing from nothing to ravenous. I can't seem to settle tonight. I ache inside and out. I've been crying and just feeling so lost.

I just don't want to lose her.