Is being a girl a conscious choice?

Had a long conversation with my brother and sister-in-law last night, and I am mulling over what my sister-in-law thinks of my transition.

If I understand her right, her opinion is that I have deliberately chosen to be female because of how I treat women vs. how I treat men - that my response to women is affection (sometimes inappropriate affection), and my response to men is aggression and even violence. So in her opinion I have decided to be on the soft fluffy team myself, so I can get affection instead of aggression.

I'm not sure how to respond to this. I gotta think about it ...