Bad Advice? Gay or Transgender?

I'm a big fan of Dan Savage's sex advice column. Dan himself is gay, but he does a great job, in my humble opinion, of giving good advice to straight people, too. I find him to be witty, worldy, and well-centered and generally enjoy his sensible and insightful answers to even the kinkiest letters.

This week, he handles a letter from the aunt of a 5-year-old boy. The aunt worries that the boy, displaying a feminine orientation with regard to play, and clothing, and makeup, who she assumes is gay, is getting a bad deal from his father, the aunt's brother, and asks for advice. Dan answers the question without ever suggesting that the boy might be anything other than gay, which I found disappointing, as he usually takes a broader perspective.

Maybe the "signs" of gayness are all too familiar to a gay man who went through a similar phase, but I don't know. I at least wish he would have raised the issue of the possibility that the boy is transgendered.

I'm curious what others think. Here is what should be a permalink to this weeks column. The letter about the boy tops the column. http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=424590

In a related posting on The Stranger's group blog, Dan posted a link to this YouTube of a SNL ad parody of an anti-anxiety drug for parents of gay children, whose tag line is "Because it's your problem, not theirs." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-Ly54AvTGI