Really, really, really bad flashback last night

Well, I had the WORST flashback I have ever experienced last night, and to say I'm not in a good place right now is putting it mildly.

I dont want to be graphic, but I could FEEL it happening to me, like it was happening right at that moment rather than a memory.

If its possible for something to feel horrible and yet pleasurable at the same time, that's what it was like.

And the pleasurable part is what makes it so much worse, that at some level it felt good makes the violation so much harder to bear.

I havent stopped shaking and crying yet. I dont know when I will.

All support appreciated.