disappointed

As everyone knows, I published a new book yesterday. Now this is going to sound a little like grandstanding perhaps, but that's not what I'm trying to do.

See, I thought I produced something really good, really important, something that might change the world just a little and maybe my life had meaning after all. Initially things started off good and I sold 14 copies straight away. I had national church organizations put links in their newsletters, I had someone from Amsterdam that dealt with transgender and religion backing me and putting the word out. I really thought that this was it, that this was the beginning of launching something special.

It seems my rocket ship to relevancy blew up on the launching pad. Everything stopped. I haven't sold a thing, of anything, and that hasn't happened in months.

I'm disappointed. I think I got my hopes too high and had visions of grandour and discovered that I'm still the same old worthless pile of shit I've always been. I hate this self pity and won't go further. I just wanted to share. I'll check messages, but I'm taking a break.