Some random thoughts.

As I wander in the tunnel I dug for myself, and knowing that the light coming toward me is an oncoming train that I built, fueled, and sent toward me, I wonder if I am going to survive its impact. Somehow, no amount of bracing myself seems to be helping ...

I seem to have a high self-preservation instinct. Not only cant I kill myself, I cant even make myself go crazy properly....

Every day I pray I havent wasted my life, that somehow, something I've done will actually mean something in Eternity. If not, why be here at all?

I have an amazing support network. I cant possibly even imagine what makes so many great people want to help me, but they do. Some day, I hope to show that all that effort has actually been worth it. It would also be nice if I could "pay it forward" and do some good for someone else.

I dont often miss the sexual aspect of being in a relationship. But to have someone who thinks I'm sexy as well as a good companion wouldnt be a bad thing.

I got called "Fugly" at my daughter's school yesterday. Okay, so I wont win beauty pageants. does that mean some elementary kid can call me names? And are thy harassing my daughter?