I have no idea what to do with my hair!

Well, I think my hair has become the ideal symbol for my in-between gender status. See, I wear a wig when I go out as Dorothy, (although, sometimes, at work, I sweat enough under it to wish I didn't have to) so I don't pay a lot of attention to my natural hair. But, sometimes, I do have to deal with it, as I simply cant seem to manage long (natural) hair, and it ends up looking horrible. But then there comes the quandary - what kind of style and cut should I get? I really hate having a super masculine cut, but can I pull off a more androgynous look around the ex? Speaking of the ex, she had a little freak-out the other day over the fact I now have a pink wallet. Sometimes, that woman drives me up a wall ....