I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry
For Many things
but mainly
Because I can not be,
I can not be the boy that you want

The boy who is strong and kind
handsome and brave
The boy who was the SON
The PRIDE
THe Brother
THe Father and GrandFather
THe boy who loved sports
And Trucks
and Guns
and MAN-ly things
The boy who married the girl
Who lived happily ever after
With 2.3 kids and a white picket fence

Fate was not kind
In my heart
my mind
my soul
I am not
I am not what they want
what they see
what they need
me to be

I'm sorry

In my secret place
My happy place
I am
I am the girl
the daughter and granddaughter
the sister
the lover
the wife
the mother
but this is not to be

I'm sorry

When the World looks at me
it sometimes sees the man
or the woman
or even, rarely, me
It supports even as it condemns
even this freak should have rights
or maybe not
It is in Limbo
neither fish nor foul

I'm sorry

Sorry that I exist
that I make the world view
less tidy
Sorry that I attract and repulse
but there is no where else
for this freak to take her/his/it's sideshow

I'm sorry

So here I sit
with my B cup tits
and seven inch cock
wondering
waiting
wanting
hoping
dreading
laughing
crying
loving
hating
praying
cursing
living
dying

I'm sorry