back to shaky

Well, I had planned to talk about my stories again, but I am not up to it. The only story I have in my head is a very angry one, and I am not sure if that one is a good idea. Mostly, I am wondering the wisdom of spending a day or more in the ER. I simply cannot find a way out of this box, and the prospect of having to spend the rest of my life like this is becoming just about intolerable. The big reason why I haven't is the simple fact they cannot help me. I am the only one who can make the plunge ahead, regardless of cost, or not. And that cost is so great I would rather know there is actually water in that pool before I jump. I feel like I am on a high-wire, too far from the beginning to go back, but too far from the end to be even sure it is there. Ah, well.