frightened myself at work

Well, I managed to frighten myself at work yesterday. For those of you who are squeamish, you might consider not reading the rest of this entry

On my break, I went up to the staff area, and the day before they had had a pot luck dinner, and had left the leftovers behind for whoever wanted some. Besides the food, they had left a large knife behind to cut with. I found myself fascinated with the knife, and picked it up, and the desire to push its blade into my skin came into my mind and i actually found myself wondering which cut would be most likely to end my life. Only my severe allergy to pain really stopped me, and with an effort, i put it down again. I am hoping that was a temporary glitch. I mean, I am on anti-depressants to prevent having this sort of problem.