Question about my story

I got a question for all you at big closet who have been keeping up with my story. Is it going in a good direction? This is the first time I've shared a story with anyone. So I want to know where I could improve, and what's capturing your attention. I really want my story to grow. and as selfish as it may seem, I want it to be popular. I want my writing to grow into it's own world.

Kitten ^^