general thoughts about story writing and my story about Cissy

I have a few thoughts that I want to let you know. The first is that this story of mine isnt entirely original. I got the original idea for this story from Linda Lafrance and her story "The story of Prissy" In that story a sexist boy makes a bunch of nasty comments during a debate and the girls get him back by feminizing him for a weekend. They inflict terrible humiliations on him and he submissively goes though it even in the end, he seems to have no backbone.
So I altered the story, gave him a backbone and another idea of mine (what if he likes dressing, what if he turns out to be a transgendered) So i changed some scenes and the whole main character.
Hey its been done before but then a problem appeared, if he has a backbone, if he is bright and can see whats happening, then it will be much harder to force him to comply so I made the other characters even more vicious. I must say that I am enjoying writing this but I would like to hear how you like what I am doing? Does it majorly suck? I am really trying to make it good and paying more attention to grammar