my brain is afraid of being afraid

One of my biggest struggles is having a shower. (there are reasons for that, but they aren't important right now).

But what really is frustrating is that instead of my brain saying "I'm scared of showers because of BAD THING", it tries to give me excuses to not shower - I'm too busy, too tired, too hot, too cold. or tries to distract me with a book or a website or a video or even a train of thought.

It seems that my brain is scared of admitting its scared, so I have to get through the fear of fear in order to actually face my fear.

Ah, well.