Hiring A Male Escort.

Next year will be 20 years since I came out, 18 years since I had mtf surgery. Now I have questions. You old timers know who I am, and the problem logging in with my old user name. (Gwen Brown)

Tonight I looked on the internet to hire a male escort. The results were chancy and evasive at best. I stopped because it all seemed really dangerous. It sounds like most encounters with escorts end up being counselling sessions with no sex. That's OK because I won't have a climax and my neo vagina is too small to be useful. 1" x 3" and that is pushing it. Might be blood. My body is completely non-responsive to sexual stimulation. I can't complain about my looks at 5'7" 170 lbs. Nice breasts. At 77, I'm no longer beautiful. Bummer.

All the time I was looking, I was wondering what sort of STDs I might contract. Hepatitis is a worry too. I have mild Multiple Sclerosis, so I wonder how that would react to my misbehaving.

The other day I called the VA crisis line, saying that I was not suicidal but just wanted to talk. Now I've had two phone calls and one letter from them. I should have known better because they always want to give drugs or get me in a group with people that ... yeah.

I was using a LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker)(I don't know what they are called in the UK). I'm thinking that I should start using her again. Medicare does not pay, so it would be on me. Fine.

Just venting. Advice would be welcome.

Ahabidah