Dreams Collide With Existence

Years ago, about 20 of them, I had what I called lucid dreams in which I was flying, and could control where I went. Psychological people said that I was trying to escape something. My then spouse got really mad at me when I told her about them. Now, I see that I was trying to escape from her abuse of me. We were married 38 years because I kept trying to make it work. In the latter years she was a "dry alcoholic", refusing to go to AA. If I'd been smarter, I would have ended the marriage at 10 years, and then at 17 when she talked me into adopting a newborn, that I later realized that she used to entrap me. My X is dead now, and the adopted daughter doesn't talk to me. Perhaps it'll never make sense. It's 4:00 AM. Still laying awake sometimes ...